The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-04-22
HUMoR oF THE DAY.

W
Washington Evening star.
HUBTOR OF THE DAY.
Bobby lin the country)-what
has that COW got a bell around her
she rings when she wants to tell the
calf that dinner is ready.-Harper'a
Bazaar.
o BIigsi iso puts ut great asa! s.fS 81
the Sarcastic person 'sT4e works ten
minutes and then thinks about it for
an hour and quarter. Washington
Star.
Helm going to bring Kadiey
home to diner on Thursday. She
Why. I thought you hated him SO;
besides, III have to cook the dinner
on Thursday. He-I know.-Phila-
delphia Ledger.
ITS so much trouble and expense
sighed Mrs. Highmus, Ito run a first
class establishment" Indeed. it is
assented Mrs. Jellers, looking around
the richly furnished apartment. '''You
are wise in not attempting it.''-Chi-
cago Tribune.
Mrs. McLubberty=Phw tonne is
ut. Murty? Die clock stopped dhe-
4 day. McLubberty Cooking at his
watch) Nome O'Clock. me dear.
'Whoy, OF fought ut was tin. at
| laste!t "Ut's nivir more dhan nome
/ o'clock at dhis tonne in dhe avenin.''
Puck.
! The managing editor wheeled his
chair around and pushed button in
4 the wall. The person wanted entered.
/ Here said the editor, "ara a num-
4 Der of directions from outsiders as to
the best way to run newspaper. See
/ that they are all carried out" And
the Office boy, gathering them all into
a large waste basket did so.-Wash-
| ington Life.
Some philosopher says, The man Of
| one thing is the man of success I'll
bet he never tried to light his pipe on a
windy day when he had only one match
left. Chicago Record-HeraId.
What do you consider the six best
books of the year, Mr.. Ego?'' asked the
young woman. sWelI-er-really." replied
Mr.. Ego, the novelist, 1--WE only writ
ten two books this year, you know
Philadelphia Press.
IF a millionaire was to offer YOU
| $100,000 would you ask him if he made
it honestly?" No. Would you cues
ton his mora1s?'' NO" what would
| you do H' I'd probably fall in fit
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
| Mamma-When that naughty boy
threw stones at you, why didn't you
come and tell me instead of throwing
them back at him? Little Willie =
Huh! What good would it do to tell
you; you couldn't hit the side Of
Observation-Disclosures Life.
$50 they smashed your laundry and
! looted your cash draWer?" said the pO-
lice Judge. They did" answered the
intelligent Chinaman. And what did
you do2' Nothing. They followed the
usual custom and convinced me that It
was to my interest to remain neutral"
Washington Star. =
Miss Fleyme-Oh! Mr.. Nocoyne, how
lovely of you to bring me those beauti-
/ full roses! How sweet they are--and
how fresh! I do believe there is a little
dew on them yet! Mr.. Nocoyne-W-
well, yes-there is, about so cents, I
think; but I'll pay it tomorrow.-Cleve-
/ land Leader
Castro is being goaded into saying
and doing foolish things but that Is no
reason why we should 90 down there
and kill people in the interest of q few
/ business schemes.
If Mr.. Rockefeller can't get anybody
! else to take his money, he might give
Mrs. Cassie L. Chadwick chance at
1 it. She makes no objection at It's being
]
President Roosevelt is reported to
1 have put a coon out of business in Ok
/ Iahoma. Some people always act diff
/ ferently when on a vacation from what
| they do at home.-Birmingham News.
They do say that in his great forensic
/ effort welcoming President Roosevelt to
Texas Jim Hogg just went all to lard
i and melt making Teddy feel like 4
doughnut in hot grease.-Opp Hustler.
We want the photographs of AL
bama's newspaper men who grew rich
and happy while at 1t. We want the
short route to eternal fame, if we know
ourselves. and showing the pictures
guarantees it.-Dothan Siftings.
We scribes and pharisees tell with
admiration the story of the publican
and beat his breast, but we remain
scribes and pharisees.-Fiorence Her
aid.
The Montgomery Advertiser felici-
tates the south upon the beautiful,
baIrny weather we are having, while in
Colorado they are compelled to use
snow plows in order to run the trains.
Undoubtedly the Advertiser has the
best of the argument now, but walt
until summer, when it is hopping its
palmetto over time in an effort to
keep cool, and see then if il will not
be glad to trade off a little of our
southern climate fer a breath from
the snow-capped mountains of Colo
ra 3o.-FloTence Tines
Every business man who has a sign
on the dOor OF his Office or above the
entrance TO his store is believer in
advertising. That sign represents his
effort to acquaint the public with the
fact of his existence, and so far as the
minute proportion of the population
that passes his door is concerned It
may be effective. But II it be worth
while to make an attempt, however
feeble, to attract the attention Of hum
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