Evening star., 1905-07-30
An Incident Of His Career in
Chicago.
HAD THE BELL BOYS
IN HIS ROOM AND DELIVERED A
TEMPERANCE LECTURE.
Discharged Them and Gave Each a
Half Dollar-No Ice Water
Next Morning.


The other afternoon four wen-known
business men of Washington met in a down.
town cafe for luncheon, and II wasn't very
long before the talk. which had been drift
ing aimlessly from one topic 10 another,
settled the sensational scandal In the
bureau OF statistics of the Agricultural De.
partment.
Did you ever meet Edwin S Holmes.
the former statistcian of the department.
the real estate man inquired of the cotton
broker.
knew him well" replied the cotton man
with reminiscent smile: knew him pretty
we'll"
DO you think It proba BILE asked the real
| estate man. that Holmes made a half mil
lion dollars out OF his cotton leak specuIa-
tions?''
A High Spender.
Couldn't say as to that. replied the cot
ton man with another grin. but I'll bet
a hat he hasn't got all of it at the present
time. Understand me- l don't know any
thing as to the guilt or innocence OF
Holmes. and what's more. don't care.
When say | knew him well | mean
that had met him frequently in a busi-
ness way. and that | had been out on a lit
tie jamboree with him a couple or three
times L always wondered where he got
the bale of long green that he carried
with him at all times, but IL wasn't any
OF my business TO inquire. I'm frank TO
say that at times l did believe he might
have done a little speculating on his own
hook with private information but | never
gave the things much thought My main
reason for remembering Mr.. Holmes Is the
fact that heard him deliver a lecture on
temperance out in Chicago one time.
Il was stopping at the biggest hotel in
the windy city,, continued the Gotten
broker, and SO was Holmes. Incidentally
ne came pretty near owning the hotel. He
was cutting into the grape every few
minutes to the tune of 81 per cut and every
now and then he would decide that he
wasn't spending money fast enough. and
would smash something just for the pleas
ure of prancing up to the desk and paying
for it. I've always noticed that when a
man is permitted to turn himself into a
village cut-up in OF those big city
caravanseries that the hotel Is always get-
ting its moneys worth.
We'll, gentlemen. that Holmes person
had 81 worth of blue blotters and basket
of Florida sponges tied in a parcel and
dropped off the dock. but about midnight
the good ship Capacity began to settle by
the bow and Mr. Holmes tackled upstairs to
his room.
Wanted All the Bell Boys.
1T wasn't but few minutes later that
the desk telephone rang. and the clerk who
answered 1t hung up the receiver with
grin on his face Mr.. Holmes wants every
bell boy in the hotel to come up to his
room,' he said to me as walked up to
the desk. They can't all be spared, but
I'll send him up bunch
And did he make good?" the real estate
man inquired.
HE surely did" replied the cotton brok-
er. for he shipped about ,thirty-1ye- bell
boys up to Holmes room. That gentleman
was waiting for them, and when they ar
rived the scene he arranged them in
ranks. like a military company, along one
side of his room. e-s4,l7a. aal -
Boys he said, look at me. Amt
sight? Amt I a beautiful piece of work?
Do you want to know what did it? Nothing
but booze. That's the answer. and there
isn't anything else to be said Never touch
a drop. boys for as the booze comes In
sense goes out Sign the pledge tonight
And then continued the cotton man,
the temperance orator quenched his thirst
from bottle of wine without the formality
of using glass. gave each of the thirty
five boys half a dollar and continued:
Boys. / want you to do me one favor,
and I'll think / was born for a good pur-
pose after all. Resign. your Jobs tonight.
Leave and never come back. Don't work
around place where you people like
me. Go home to your mothers tonight.
Consider yourselves discharged. Will you
do it,?
The Next Morning.
'Well, SIR" continued the cotton man,
they all grinned and promised to leave at
once, never to come back. And then they
filed out and Holmes went to bed. In the
morning. and this last I know from the
gentleman himself Holmes woke up with a
head like washboer filed with horse
Shoes a thirst like the Sahara desert at
o'clock in the afternoon, and no recollection
of the events of the previous night. So
he rolled over In bed. connected with the
ice-water button on the wall and waited.
THE water boy didn't come fast enough
to suit him. however. and in about a minute
and half he rang again. In another half
minute he had his finger on the button
once more and finally he put 1t there and
rang the bell continuously for ten minutes
'Then he got as hot under the collar as
the business end of a soldering iron. and
went to the telephone.
Why can't get any ice waterF he
Sorry came back the reply. but there
isn't anybody to send up with It,. and
Holmes. speechless with rage and breathing
reversed benedictions on the hotel and
everything connected with 1t, dressed and
went down stairs.
why in the name OF eighty-four kinds
of pulverized sin can't get any ice water
in my room this morning. he yelled at the
clerk as soon as he came within earshot.
Sorry. SIR replied the clerk. with a
grin, as he looked at Holmes. but you dis
charged all the bell boys last night
LAS l remarked before said the cotton
friends outside, "a man who can play the
village cut-up in big city hotel has my
admiration and respect, and must be
spender from the high grass. but the Eng
fish language doesn't contain words to ex-
press my eulogistc sentiments of the man
who can mix up In practical jokes and
pleasantr.es with a Chicago hotel clerk"
Hearing After Death.
rrro,, tho ondon Mail