The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15

Then feels it an outrageous thing
This creature debona1r.
If anyone INDUCES in
A furtive little stare!
Bertha Randabaugh. in Lippincott's-
HUAIOR OF THE DAY.
..Humph! You can't make us poor folks
think that all the cleanliness and good
habits are the property Of the rieh,' ex-
claimed Mrs. SopelOVer.
What's on your mind, AIandy?'' asked
why, this newspaper says Secretary
John Hay has taken his first bath al Nau-
helm, Germany. I suppose he is q man
over sixty, too.''-Cineinnat Commercial
DO you believe in government owner
THAT depends answered the trust
magnate, ION whether you mean that tho
government ought to own US or we ought
to own the government. w ashington
7'sA
BIilton's friend had just called to return
the manuscript of Paradise Lost.
What do you think Of it?' inquired the
WHY, It's pretty fair, John. but you
see after reading Frenzied Finance"
With a bitter Sob Milton threw himself
into chair Too late he realized that ne
should have selected loftier theme.-Salt
Lake Hrald-
Was any one with you in the car when
Motorist-Yes; my chauffeur.
1iotorist-He hasn't come down yet
London Taller.
4 made serious mistake today" said
the eoetor. ,,.
II charged stranger g for consulta-
ton" answered the N. D., and after
paying it he said he fully expected to
pay Sl0'-Columbus Dispatch.
We'll" said the northumberland. Il
have done good. days work today"
FzF71 a sF77fe 1r.f 17ra-n4 mn ~
No Better than that. Succeeded in
persuading church organization to ac-
cept some Of it as gitt.'-Ch1ca=o Jour
nal
Hilda-she won because she cheated at
HenFy-H'm! A put-up 5ob!-chicago
News.
Jinks-Here try one of these cigars; they
are something can recommend.
think III take one of the kind you smoke
yourself.-Boston Transcript.
Here's a story Of a man who died while
eating waternelons."
my! my!' exclaimed the old colored
people!''-Atlanta Constitution.
Tommy Twaddles-Pa!
Tommy T.-What Is the capital of
Afghanistan. how is it bounded and what
are its principal expOrt52
Pa T.-Great Scott I don't know
to tommy IAN dIo+ I've got to 60 to school
be get a liekin' jest because I've got
ignorant fatherI-Cleveland Leader.
Auntie Lingerlong-There. there. stop
crying, Willie, and I'll kiss you again.
Wllie-Ah, that's what m crying about!
-Woman's Home Companion.
Excited Old Gentlefnan-For heavens
sake come at oncel There's a poor man
fallen in the river-and he's drowning!
British Workman-Can't 'elp it, guvnors
Ell ave ter wait a bit: T. 5 my bIoomin'
dinner hour.-London Taller.
What do you raise out here?" asked
the fastener of the North Dakota farmer
"A little Wheat,a little oats, a hard wind
and a little hades, replied the prairie far
mer. There's nothing like this new
scheme Of diversified farming. ''-Cincin-
natl Commercial Tribune.
Shell wonder why SO few men are reg
Hell don't know unless it's because
there is no law prohibiting it.-Kansas
TraveIer-This seems to be pretty good
Wall, yes. There's more gold bricks sold
around here than anywhere else.-Brook-
lyn Life.
Mack-Why did you ask her to sing?
Htghbee-Id never heard her before
Judge.
In Aberdeen can be found q. court off
S@etA ~ III - dS SOOu d type Oh lHG C2nIy
Scot as one would meet anywhere. On a
recent occasion an important witness fail
ed to appear, and the judge was furious.
Why isn't he here?' demanded his hon
Or It's his duty to be here. Where is
hep"
The official with true Scotch canniness,
replied: '.Weel. IN no say for that; but
he's dead."-Chtcago Journal.
Johnny was at the opera for the first
time, and the celebrated soprano was IN
the middle Of her solo, when he said to his
mother. referring to the conductor of the
orchestra: Why does that man hit at
the woman with his sttck2"
He is not hitting at her" replied his
mother; keep quiet"
well, then, what is she bowling for?"