West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1905-07-20

Jud Orr was gwen the freedom OF
the town. He will be the last as
SCISSOR that will be gwen the free
dom Of the town TO start a boom in
real estate. After Assessor Orr left
the town the boom exploded and
killed ten dogs and seriously injured
seven cats. We are not advertising
for any more booms on new tax
laws in our town.
"SInce the new tax laws have got
ten fairly planted in our town / am
only running one side Of my engine.
Bro. John Carnes, who has great
faith in the new tax laws hurrying
up the Millennium so il will reach
here before the next election, is
running the other side of my engine.
This is the most effectual reduction
of taxation that | have experienced
since your tax laws were put in op.
Grafton. What did the machine
cost you that operates your tax laws1
| see in THE ARGUS where Deacon
Brown says you have a Machine.
If you will pay me enough money l
will go down to Charleston and run
the Machine for you. shall still
continue to pray for your conversion
to the unterrihed and unwashed
Democracy, and il fail shall turn
TO be an evangelist and pray for you
and Gov. Dawson"
While / highly appreciate Bro.
Buckner's letter, it panied me to
learn that the boom in real estate
which had been created by our new
tax laws on their first visit TO the
River City, had exploded like the
paper balloons which the Governor
and myself sent up on July 4th to
prove our patriotism and our faith
In our tax laws. The intention of
our our tax laws is to establish a
permanent boom in every town they
visit. The last census reports show
that real estate was woefully in need
of boomer, and it occurred to
Gov. Dawson and myself that a set
of new tax laws would overcome
this woefulness. But from Bro.
Buckner's epistle I infer that the
booms so far are in tran STORY
state. We shall endeavor to correct
this at the next election, providing
the people give us their hearty CO.
operation, for without it 1 fear the
chances are that Bro. Buckner
must continue to keep on praying.
| am sorry to reply that have not
heard the voice Of Bro. Buckner in
prayer. II it should reach my ear
he may expect speedy conversion,
which means the immediate collapse
of our new tax laws, the news of
which will create a greater sensation
on Wall street than the "Crime OF
Amalgamated" by Bro. Tom Law.
son. Next to myself Bro. Lawson
is considered the greatest wind
stormer OF the century.
1t is with great regret that we can.
not permit Bro. Buckner to operate
our Machine. 1t IS held sacred by
Gov. Dawson and myself, and we,
and we alone, operate it behind bar
red doors. For reasons better
known to the Governor and myself
we have never taken the public into
our confidence in the operation OF
the Machine. We have applied for
a patent on it and when we receive
the patent we will feel safe IN exhib-
iting the Machine to the public.
was more than pleased to read
the letter of Bro. Julius Simpson to
Deacon Brown. was worried
about the safety of Bro. Simpson as
| had letter from Orator Charley
Roster a short time since stating
that Bro. Simpsons voice was on
the decline, but his letter to Deacon
Brown would indicate that il has as
great volume Of enthusiasm as for.
merlY. / have never heard mega.
phone that could penetrate the
atmosphere to greater distance
than Bro. Simpsons voice when il
was keyed up for campaign service.
I say this without malice to the
megaphone and with charity for
Bro. Simpsons voice. Both are
necessary IN time Of campaigns to
arouse the people from their slum.
bers, as many Of them must have
been slumbering too soundly on
June 3. A few shrill shouts from
Bro. Simpsons voice, seconded by
the megaphone, might have saved
the day for our new tax laws and
prevented Bro. Lakin from return.
ing to Che yard stick.
AZ his personal solicitation have
just had conference with Charley
Swisher who is the main guy Of our
Machine. lie says the "cofing up
for the Second Congressional Dis.