davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18
THE MANEUVERs.

From the New York Sun.
In wars grim guise the mighty ships
cleave onward through the sea,
From one and all the cry rings: ION to
Washington. ID. c."
Out DER the waves the searchlight's rays
defy the dying sun,
For now, you see,
Il The awful the
Oretic wars begun.
Imaginary missiles cleave the sullen, sui
The captain of the Oshkosh tears imagin-
airy hair,
And cries unto his sailors bold: YOU'D
best duck out of sight
Or else you'll be
Blown up by the
Oretical lyddite!'
The first lieutenant gets his book and
figures up the crew.
He adds to this the square of four and
then divides by two,
And then he says. "Oh. mercy,' and goes
sadly down to bed,
II find" says he,
THAT we are the
CRITICALLY dead
The captain of the Screaming Eagle gets
And multiplies the longitude by seventeen
and ten,
Then yells as he hops overheard; WED
better quit the junk!
For hully geel
This craft is the
Oretically sunk"
But those upon the submarine, the Scuttle
Fish, sit round
And figure the chances that they have
of getting drowned,
And add to this the number of the drinks
that have gone by,
And find, you see,
They're more than the
Oretically dry
Torpedo boat commanders then from
to "a,
Sit calmly by while awful theoretic can
non rear,
And tell the steward to be sure to keep
all glasses filled,
Sometimes, you see.
It's nice to be
Strategically killed
All honor to our heroesi When the awful
war Is DER,
And they return from wallowing in theo-
retic gore,
Well sing them swelling peans and some
other pleasing lays.
And yet will we
Take care to the
CRITICALLY praise.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18
Newspaper Work.

II often Think said an old newspaper
man who dropped into one of the Bir-
mngham newspaper offices yesterday,
that President Theirs of France was
right when he said Journalism is an
excellent profession-provided you leave
it,
It's the only profession or craft in
the world In which, in a certain sense,
experience counts against man. The
youngester, fresh from college, goes into
the business, masters 1t in every detail
and at forty years of age finds himself
with critical faculty sharpened to the
razor's edge and the spirit of initiative or
rather of action damped irreparably. His
vocabulary, however comprehensive and
we'll cultivated it may be- comes in time
to sound to him very much as his year
before lasts pair Of trousers looks. He
would give anything in the world if hei
knew another language. To him words
are mere counters Phrasing, sentence
structure, the art of writing paragraphs
pert or long, and all the mental processes
become monotonous. Then when he be-
gins to look somewhat biliously at life,
along comes some young fellow with
refreshing touch of style who displaces
him precisely as he had displaced his
predecessor. Besides all this, his manner
of life-the hours he must needs keep
and the irregularity and uncertainty of
his engagements make Of him, in a way,
an Ishmaelite In his Gods Fool David
Graham Phillips has well elaborated this,
idea.
However" added the old newspaper
man, the work Is so fascinating that
once one is in It, 1t is almost impossible
to get out The whole business Is moth
ing less than a form of mental dope 1t
grips a man-even the firmest willed OF
us-as nothing else does other than an
opiate To get out of newspaper werk is
like getting rid of the morphine habit
or shaking off the raee-horse bug. 10
do one or the other is but less than
miraculous. And yet men go into 1t ana
stay In it--and those who get out OF 1t
are always longing to get back In har-
ness All my impulses lead me to go
back to the desk or start out once more
ON the street
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

Peace really depends upon the fact
that Oyama stands ready and will con.
tinue to stand ready to deliver
a tremendous blow at Line
yitch's army. The Russian army
is said to be in a deplorable condition,
and Russia is beginning to see the ut
ter hopelessness of her efforts in the
Far East, but Oyama is after all the
particular man who sternly says, Let
there be peace" with no trickery in
it. He means what he says
For this reason an agreement as to
a truce is difficult, and no one can say
just what kind of an armistice will be
agreed upon. No doubt Oyama's
army, reinforced as 1t has been by the
army of the Yalu, is superior to Line
vitchs, but will Japan be willing to
stop even temporarily all preparations
for war? Will she lose the oppor.
tunity to fight telling and far-reach-
ing battle?
These are the most difficult and in.
teresting question connected with the
peace negotiations, and the time is
near at hand for their determination.
Until the terms of truce are known
no one can say what the course of the
negotiations VIII be-
Humanity-immediate humanity
cries aloud against another bloody
battle, but a battle now may mean
fewer or no battles in the future. The
truce questions are not so much in
Russia's hands as they are in the
hands of the keen-witted leaders of
Japan, and what the latter are willing
to concede in the way of truce will
no doubt relate directly to the long
future, as have all their glorious acts
in the present war.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18
Law and Order at Decatur.

While some doubt the guilt of all
the negroes, three in number, who
were hung at Decatur last Friday, yet
all good citizens must feel a gratifica-
ton in the fact that the proceedings
were conducted in an orderly manner
throughout under the law. The cases
would have been treated otherwise in
former years, but Alabama is now
we'll out of the anarchistic slough.
But one thing is needed to complete
the law-and-order reform which has
been inaugurated, and that thing is
the power in the governor to convene
at his discretion special terms of the
court. Experience shows that the cir
cult judges get busy to find some ex-
cuse that fits their convenience and
their popularity. One of them not long
ago refused to call special term, be-
cause a trial at the time would mean
a conviction, forgetting chat a preju-
diced trial is better than no trial at
all--better in many respects to the
commonwealth.
Governor Jelks may be able in his
final state paper to bring the subject
home to the next legislature, and IL
he can do so he will round out the
finest reform of his entire administra-
tiCn
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

From the New York Sun.
At the boarding house on Morrison
street they were discussing climate. The
Portland man declared that the ground
last winter never froze to depth of two
inches
1T froze two feet where I came from, -
said the man from New Jersey.
up in the Adirondack mountains re-
marked the New Yorker, "the ground
last winter froze to a depth of ten
feet"
The Iowa man sat quietly munching his
lettuce while the others expectantly
awaited his effort to outmatch the New
Yorker.
"Pshaw!" he said that's nothing. Why.
back in Des Molnes the ground froze so
deep that the Chinese Emperor sent a re-
quest to Governor Cummins to start a
fire. He complained that his subjects had
cold feet"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18
DANCE CURE FOR INSANE.
Attendants Must Know How to Waltz
and Play instruments.

Correspondence of the Philadelphia North
American.
Cherokee, Ia,-That the insane can be
cured of their Authorizations by dancing
and by witnessing theatrical perform
ances has been practically demonstrated
by the Iowa State Hospital for the In
sane at this point.
For two years the novel system in use
at this institution has been on trial, and
its success may be judged from the fact
that the hospital is discharging as cured
% per cent Of the patients annually.
In short, the theory adopted by Super
intendent Voldeng and his assistant, DIR.
Willheit, Is that the insane can be cured
If their attention can be taken from their
malady. Accordingly, the patients are
surrounded by circumstances calculated
to interest them.
Among the requirements of an attend
ant at the asylum is that he be able TO
dance and play some instrument The
asylum has an orchestra, band and
theatrical, made up of attendants and
some of the patients. The musical organ-
izations discourse music three or four
times a week There are also three or
four social events each week, taking the
form of a concert, stereopticon views, n
dance, drawing room or an amateur
theatrical performance.
AT the dances the women attendants
dance with the male patients, and the
male attendants dance with the female
patients This is found to be necessary.
The patients are well-behaved, because
they know that their good behavior alone
can give them the opportunity Of enjoy
ing these festivities. The dancing stops
a little before s o'clock, and light re-
freshments are served. To watch one or
these scenes one would Imagine 1t was a
ball such as any respectable society might
give There is no fuss, no unseemly be-
havior Everything is quiet. simple and
orderly. and happiness reigns over the
entire proceedings.
One of the best rooms in the immense
building Is the theatre or chapel. This IL
beautifully lighted. large hall. furnished
with all the scenery and latest stage
paraphernalia-
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18
ALABAMA PRESS
No Difference Of Opinion.

From the Greensboro Waterman.
We are glad to note that in an inter-
view with an Herald reporter few
days ago Governor Jelks stated that he
is in favor of nominating the next demo-
cratic candidate for governor by the pri-
mary system instead of by the conven-
ton plan. He added that in his judgment
there was no substantial difference OF
opinion on this subject among public men
in the state.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

he is giving the city the lest admins
tration it has had in many years.
Mr.. Ward Is not only cleaning the
streets and alleys of the city, but he Is
attempting to regulate and keep clean
all the business of the city by prevent
ing city officials and others connected
with the city government from being in
strumental or interested in any contracts
to be awarded by the city. Under his
management I look for thoroughly con-
servative, businesslke and honest adj
ministration of all departments of city
affairs.
There seems to be a general wave of
cleaning up SO TO speak, throughout the
United States. We have 1t in Philadelphia
and in Chicago, and now President Roose-
welt Is starting out to reform the bust
ness methods of the government depart
ments at Washington, ana operate the
government upon strictly business princi-
pies.
These reforms come about in all coun-
tries at stated periods and always result
in great good to all the people
80
The announcement on the part of Vice
President Ackert of the Southern rail-
way that the new union passenger station
for Birmingham is to be one of the hand
soonest in the south is an evidence that
the railroads appreciate Birmingham and
realize that it is soon to be one of the
greatest Of southern cities The new sta
ton here means an investment of 81. LOCO
900 or more on the part of the rail-
roads.
= -
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18
AS TO FARM ERS.


From Harper's Weekly.
The late Senator Quay, among his other
varied pursuits, was somewhat of an ag-
riculturlst One day there was dis
cussion between several of his colleagues
regarding the definition of gentleman
farmer. Some contended that a farmer
was a farmer. and the matter of his
wealth could mako no difference In the
name Presently one of the speakers APP
pealed to Quay, and asked him If he would
define the difference between an ordi-
nary farmer and gentleman farmer.
The Senator thought for minute and
said: There's this difference between
the two: One eats what he cannot sell.
and the other sells what he cannot eat. !"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18
NED BRACE TALKS ABOUT THE LABOR
SITUATION HERE AND OTHER LOCAL MATTERS

here are high and attractive Many labor
ing men have come. When they reach
here they are met by the union organizers
and in many instances given tickets back
home and requested to return Some have
accepted these tickets Then they are
often called on by representatives of the
companies which brought them here and
given the cash value of their return
tickets.
l am told that this game has been going
on for many months. The big iron COM
panies and the United Mine Workers have
each spent dollars that aggregate into the
thousands-in this game of battle door
and shuttle coek-and 1t still goes on.
over three hundred thousand dollars,
am told, has been distributed from the
general fund of the United Mine Workers
of America to keep up the Birmingham
district fight; and the big companies have
probably spent twice the amount to bring
new men into the district.
How absurd it all is! This is the great
mining and manufacturing district of the
south. It should thrive and hum at all
times. Labor cannot exist without cap
ital. Yet capital will not submit to dieta-
tion as to the particular Individual 1t
shall employ
All things considered, 1t is time every
body should go to work. Those who don't
want to work might organize themselves
into baseball clubs and stop talking and
pickering.
Birmingham is really undergoing gem
uine summer cleaning. The town is clean
er today than 1t has ever heen in its his
tory. proving thoroughly the old saying
that "a new broom sweeps clean"
Mayor Ward Is undoubtedly a new
hroono of excellent make and texture and
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

Prom the New YORK Press.
Marry for money; repent in perjury.
Kittens get their eyes opened'-a few
DAYS after they are born; people when
they are married.
The only queerer thing than the way
women are dressed Is the way they some
times aren't.
A mans idea of getting rested from the
strain of business is to sit up all night
Waving cards, smoking and drinking.
Riding in an automobile makes a wo-
man think of the way she would look II
her husband was President of the United
States.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18
Respect the Will of the People.

From the Russellvile Times
number of the politicians of the state
are opposed to a primary election for the
selection of candidates for the various
offices. One of their main objections In
the selecting of state officers is that 1t
costs too much to secure the nominal
ton, but we fail to see why 1t should
be so. The primary election is by far
the most satisfactory way, as the will of
the people, instead of that of the politi-
clans, Is carried out
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18
The Peoples Right.

From the Talladega Reporter.
The Age-Herald reports Governor Jelks
as in favor of the primary. of course he
is and every other fellow who runs for
anything had just as we'll be. This is one
right the people will not give up any
more. They will name and elect their can
didates in the future.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18
Howard College.

= "The outlook for large attendance at
Howard college next fall Is eSeepuohaHy
bright" said Professor Edward Brand.
Howard has always been popular IN
stitution, and as the south advances In
material wealth. and as the demand ior
college bred men increases, students nat
urally become more numerous. Our college
is doing better and better work as the
years roll on"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

in nearly every county within few
years.
1.-The dispensaries now in operation seem
to be giving satisfaction, both morally and
financially. and unless the saloon men look
we'll to the enforcement of strict regula-
lions in the conduct of their business they
are doomed.
1.-THE continued violation of the laws
and restrictions that are enacted to gov
ern the sale of intoxicants in saloons will
hasten the public condemnation of the
liquor traffic"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18
Mayor Ward.

From the Greensboro Record.
Mayor Ward of Birmingham is attract
ing attention all over the country by his
businesslike administration of the affairs
of the city We predict, basing our pre-
diction on the start he has made, that he
will make the best Mayor Birmingham
has made.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18
- ERE we are in Birmingham with
INA all this union miner business up

O all this union miner business up
again.
The miners union is holding executive
sessions TO debate and decide what they
are going to do about it.
The commercial coal operators are like
wise meeting in quiet eonelave to debate
what they shall do with the union scale
In force.
The big fellows of the big companies
are sailing about the country on open
shop vessels. Some of them have risen to
the automobile basis. and are humping
about on the bad roads of Jefferson coun-
ty enjoying life at a thirty mile-per-hour
speed, while others have gone to the
eastern seaside resorts to get out of the
Birmingham troubles while there be
troubles.
The whole situation here strikes the In
dependent one as absurd. There is scrap
ping and bluffing and ehildsplay galore.
There has been no cut in wage in the
Birmingham district. The non-union man
who works is getting the same wages
the union man gets. He is getting all the
union man demands. Every man who
wants work has it. and the employers
of labor are begging for more. There are
not sufficient skilled laborers or any
other kind in the district to meet the de-
mand. Nobody kicks on the price Of
fered, but there Is a demand for recog-
milton of organization, and upon this
demand rests the trouble.
= y y
As 1t Is some of the mining companies
of the Birmingham district have agents
out shipping labor in here. They send
them in great numbers. The wages paid
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

Mrs. Howard Gould has displaced Jim
number. Mrs. Gould is not woman
who relishes obseurity. and she wants
her architects to be AL
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18
No Room for the Weather.

From the Gadsden Evening Journal.
Birmingham has secured a weather OBJ
servaton tower at the hands of Uncle
Sam, but real estate is in such demand for
sky-scrapers there that no place can be
found to put it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18
More Pastoral Than Pleasant.

IF it's just the same to the cows, SAID
a man who lives on Highland avenue L
wish the aldermen would pass law re-
quring that they q mean the cows, not
the aldermen) be led instead of driven
through the streets of Birmingham
every morning when l look out OF
my window l see a bovine procession
moving in irregular formation slowly
down the avenue. There is a pastoral
touch to the picture that is not altogether
displeasing 1t reminds me or the happy
days back on the farm. Aside from that
however. l don't quito approve II. There
is always a little picaninny, stick in
hand, bringing up the rear of the pro-
cession about half a block behind the
last COW. He's usually a-whistling a coon
song, and not unmusically, and all the
while the cows in front of him are
browsing ON the unfeneed lawns or help
ing themselves to the roses and other
flowers blossoming beside the hedge. After
the procession is past. the unpaved part
of the sidewalks it is plain that cows
departing leave behind them footprints in
the sands of time.
Now, If the little negro hoy would lead
instead Of drive the COW on their morning
constitutional life on Highland avenue
would be pleasanter than it is. l wish the
City Council would consider this little
matter"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

The two leading popular leaders in San
Francisco are named Trltmoe and Yoen.
They may be either natives or foreign
ers.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

The fifteenth reunion Of the Confeder-
ate Veterans has become pleasant mem
DRY.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

The labor troubles in Chicago have
plenty of secret ms and outs attached
to them, all rotten to the core.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

The beef trust inquiry is actually to be
brought to an end, and when it is we
will see what the government has bagged.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

The United States has had no substan-
tial interests in Morocco since the release
of the late Mr.. Perdlearis.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

If the Equitable has been saved Thomas
F. Ryan undoubtedly did it, aided and
promoted by Mr.. Cleveland of New Jer-
sey
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

The peace negotiations may be pro-
crossing favorably. but they will never
be arrested for violations of the speed
law.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

Norway and Sweden need not quarrel.
Washington can adjust all differences
and put all on the best of terms.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

Japan may adopt Roman characters,
but 1t will not be altogether au fat until
1t drinks American beverages.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

Atlanta has not been heard FROM but 1t
no doubt expects to be the meeting place
of the peace plenipotentiaries.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

The average "growler' lasts but two
months, eight days and five hours. This
was ascertained in careful calculation.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

New York also desires to mutualize its
summer weather. That weather is not
trustworthy at present.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

General stoessel was as successful as
the rest Of the commanders, and he did
not have to go to the bottom of the sea
as the curtain fell.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

Peace is to be signed in Washington
instead of Toxic. The late Mr.. Kuro-
patkin was in error.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

American cities are hurrying invitations
to the peace plenipotentiaries to come
along and make them respectively ia
| nous.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

The rapid rise and pronounced success
or Premier Rouvier Is accounted for
he was a drummer.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

Japan will send three diplomatic Togos
or Oyamas to Washington She keeps
all kinds in stock.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

Russia may as well sign the paper,
for oyama is the bulldog of the far east.
He looks the part.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

That palace of peace may have to be
erected in Washington. Ask Mr.. Car
negie.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

The labor scandals of Chicago are try
Ing to crowd IL. Durham and the rest
of the Philadelphia boodlers out of the
limelight.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

New Orleans. Birmingham, Shreveport
aud Atlanta seem to have established
their respective rights to places in the
first division.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

Secretary Shaw smiles at the deficit in
much the same way that the President
of an exploded bank meets depositors
on the following day.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-06-18

Birmingham new passenger station
is to be spacious and fine.