Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1905-09-01

over the way we nave mIstreared me
disciples of Confucius. He seems to
carry around false impression that
the American people should smack
their lips and pronounce delightful any
thing that he likes. He is stuck on
John Chinaman and, ergo, everybody
else should be. The way he comes to
champion the Chinese against Amer
leans is that he resided among them
ten years In the orient. 1t may posi-
bly, be that when the rest of us have
had similar experience we may &C.
Quire similar tastes, but it is we'll for
hon. John to wake up to the fact that
the rest of us are not likely to reside
ten years In the orient on good fat
salary, hence are not liable to acquire
his vitiated tastes. In passing 1t may
be remarked that he belongs to that
class Of public men who could not be
elected dog PETERS, but who manage
nevertheless to bag desirable positions
How he manages to do 1t, like the
peace, Of God, passeth all understand
ing. Why he should be favorite Of
administration after administration is
a profound mystery. Why he is not
compelled to remain at his diplomatic
post and discharge the duties for which
he draws salary Is another mystery.
Somehow or somehow else he manages
to play in unending good luck to keep
himself constantly in the limelight.
He thinks, or he thinks he thinks,
that the Chinese boycott Is a dreadful
thing, and he pronounces the yellow
peril wild chimera and tommyrot.
This was the substance of his speech
at the Portland exposition. What
American laborers will think Of his
remarks remains to be seen. Unless
they have changed their minds radical
ly since the last Chinese exclusion bill
was passed, what they will do to the
politician and party that undertake
to let down the bars so that Chinese
coolies may come in I'D libitum will be
a-plenty. Perhaps after this last break
on the part Of the Hon. John the presi-
dent may ind it feasible to muzzle
him-a great desideratum.
The Kansas City Times and Star are
exploiting 1.-The Morals of Seneca"
'aThe Philosophy of Epictetus" and
1.-THE Letters of Lord Chesterfield to
His Son. these hot days. There is
much interesting reading matter in
these ancient and more or less famous
documents. 1t will do its clientele
good to peruse them-more good than
most of modern literature, If repro
duced, would accomplish. Old Ben
Franklin once amazed the wits and
savants of Paris by reading to them
the book of Ruth, which he pretended
and which they believed to be a new
work which sly Ben had picked up
The Times and Star might enliveq
things on the Kaw by reprtuting q.
cerpts from the Bible.
Great guns! How have the mighty
faiienl Philadelphia papers now 70.
fer to the senatorial seat held by Bo1ss
Penrose as vacant. Nothing quite %
sarcastic has been said by anybody
in the City Of Brotherly Love since
Benjamin Franklin shufded of this
mortal coil. Evidently Matthew Stan
| ley Quay made serious mistake when
he bequeathed his mantle to Peprose
| It doesn't fit him any better than
James j. Jetfrles' mantle would Al
| Tom Thumb.
When Hon. Elihu Root read Hon.
Serene f. Payne's glowing nomination
Of Secretary Taft for president, which
| Hon. Serene made betwixt the wal.
nuts and the wine in faraway Manila,
he most probably recalled Tennysons
lines:
Oh, would that my tongue could utter
| The thoughts that arise In me!
That performance by Brother Payne
seems to have stirred up bad blood In
| Washington, for they are talking OF
taking away from him the titular lead
ership of the majority in the house,
which would be as severe blow to
him as 1t was to Ii Hung Chang
when he was stripped Of his yellow
jacket.
Hon. Joseph L. Bristow, late fourth
| assistant postmaster general, in his re.
tirement in rural Kansas could give
some valuable pointers as to what II
costs Republican statesman to set up
| as reformer. He was ordered to In
vestigate corruption In the postof1ce
department, and he was guileless
enough to take that assignment seri-
ously. Consequently he proceeded to
Investigate, and as result he was
divorced from the public service. In
the Republican lexicon reform means
whltewash.
II ( III