The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-08

DO you think you are going to like your
4 don't Know; they haven't hung out
their washing yet."-NIilwaukee Sentinel
He-They've been married and divorced
SIX S times.
He-Yes. She's been divorced I'VE times
and he once.-Chicago Journal.
''Leonidas,' said Mr.. Meektons wife.
look me in the eye and answer me one
question: Have. you ever deceived me
about anything?"
much hesitation Il must confess that
have not been altogether frank. On nu-
merous occasions have dissembled to the
extent of trying to appear far more anaia-
bic than / really felt. '-Philadelphia Led
ger
'.Wen. my friend. I never pay my old
debts. forget them
And your new ones?'
"oh. I let them get old "-Fliegende
Blaetter-
He seems cen to consider you bitter en-
lie matters himself
How do you Inean?'
ITO be an enemy I'd have to give some
thought to him. I'm merely non-friend.
Philadelphia Press.
DE man dat smaht enough to recognize
good advice when he hears it, said Uncle
Eben, sis generally smaht enough to make
up his own advice in de fus' place
Washington Star.
Mrs. James-EIy husband is a eonserva-
Mrs. Jones-Indeed! Why. had no idea
he was in that business. Does he have a
large-er-conservato ?-Cleveland Lead
er.
Late again, Mr.. Brown, late again -
chirped the manager. Il believe you'd be
AM murmured the married man.
man. And a lot later. too, If L got the
chance again Journal.
Mrs. McBIun-I thought you might at
least have put a dollar in the conection
Mr.. McBluff-What was the use? There
wasn't anybody looking when the plate
came to me.-Philadelphia Press
Skinner say, smarte. can you give me
change for q. dollar bill?
smarte-Upon one condition nay e ss7I
Skinner-Oh, If you mean to be so par
ticiIlar as that I'm afraid we can't do bus
mess together.-Boston Transcript.
First Moth-where are you going to
spend the summer?
Second Moth have made arrangements
to board with a fur coat, but don't know
whether III be able to stand It. Its fear
fully crowded already-Detrolt Free
Press.
GLOW was your sunday school picnic?
"ohh! a birdF'
s.Ahi sort of meadow lark, suppose"
Philadelphia Press.
Consolidated BrokeI-T have just made
m my annual balance sheet, and do you
know that on last years operations lost
over $4,000? It's a fact. and the worst Of
it is that fully 500 OF that was my own
money! Amt it awful?-NeW Yorker.
did you ever notice anything funny
about his conversationY' ~. ~.
soIutely no point to it"
That's the funny part Of it., Having no
point to it, how is 1t that ne pores 50
Quickly hiladeiphia Press.
rs that young man economical?" asked
0i I'm a. way answered the other. He
tries to save his own income BY charging
the cost CT his dinner parties to the plsl-
ness in which he is partner. W ashlns-
ton Star.
Before you decide to marry. my child,
there are some serious things to be con-
ssYes, papa, 1t has just struck me that a
Ydivorce costs a great deal more than g
Dealer.
The Tramp-Yer needn't be afraid to
EIiliionaire-Needn't be afraid?
The Tramp-No. won't say II s tainted
money.-Chicago Daily News.
I'VE haven't the orators We once 4aQs
said the man who is habitually regretfui
s'Yes, we have" answered Senator Sor-
ghlln ''the trouble is that the public now
a-days is too busy TO listen 20 en- =
washington Star.
PA" said the son Of the multi-miIlion-
aire Il want an automobile
what? Where's the last one bought
your demanded his father.
why, good graciousi That vas nearly
a week ago. Philadelphia Ledger.
Mrs McBryde-John, I'm simply dis
gusted. While I was out this morning the
cat got into the pantry and ate every sim
gle thing except 8 cake / had Just baked
Mr.. McBryde-What q wonderful thing
animal instinct IS. to be ure!-Clevelano
Leader.
Archibald-I viii do anything in tia
world for you, dearest!
Heiene-Win yOu2
Archibald-If you would only try mel
Catchem's department store and exchange
it for a size larger; I've lost the siip.-
Puck.
Tess-Afrs. Foartey doesn't really show
her age at all, does she2
Jess-No; it's not surprising, considering
= Te sss mean it is surprising consid-
erink all the trouble she's had
Jess-No, mean considering all the
trouble she's taken to conceal it.-Philadel-
pllia Press
yisitor-Whati You got 3 life sentenee7
Pr1soner-Yes. thank Heaven hat9
moving eggendorfer Blatter.
what did they do with that alderman
who was charged here some time ago
with having received a bribe?'
Convicted him and sent him to the pen
Good: what have they done to the bri-
sGranted him an extension Of his fran
chise and are now busy buying the new
bonds he's offering. Chicago Record
! Herald