The news & observer., 1905-10-08

"Oi wint to a musical lasht noight,"
said Mr. Dooley, IAN it was swell"
AN did ye see tn animals?" said
| Mr.. HennesSy
"G'wan. We bloke," said Mr. Doo-
! ley; '1t wasn't amy circus, but it was
betther thin wan. Oi attinded a
musical recital. Did ye niver hear
/ wan iv thin operate p
| "Oi niver did in all me checkered
career" said Mr.. Hennessy. "Phat
was tn bist fachoor about it
"Whin it was over" said Mr.. DoO-
| ley, "Oi prayed FIR tn end iv it an Oh
ast st. Pathrick to koindly lemme git
| out or gimme death. Oh shall niver go
j to amy more, Hennessy. Oh thought
| OF shud dole iv delirium tremints. OF
| hedn't more thin took me safe an put
me hands acrost me abdomin aisy
loike, whin. out come a hoigh toned
female thot arristed me attintion
frum tn first. f'r OF am sympathetic
mon. Hennessy. an hold mesilf ready
at amy tonne to give succor to tn
sufferin' an to tn onforchoonate. TIL
l~poor lady f'rgot to fashtin her gown
at tn shoulders. in tn rush iV pre-
parin' f'r tn musical, an she come
on tn shtage with tn garmint half
Oft; She cud hardly walk f'r it an tn
thing was slippin' oft her livery mint
till OF was jist about to rise UP In me
safe an tell. tn vulgar aujience to
ISShow-4their giatilm4nly feelings baF shut
tin their Dyes till tn lady cud realize
her misforchune. whin she opined her
mouth an began to shpake unto us.
She said thot tn first number iV tn
progrim was MeddleSome's nochoor-
eens, be Kathleen Manouvereen. OF
caught me breath hard, Hennessy. an
Miss Kathleen foated out an wint to
IL 81 l,o \,
thing an thin hit 1t bechune tn oyes
afther manner to make yure breath
come in gaspS. III poor thing hoWled
loike a lost soul. an Oi groaned in
me heart. Oi cudn't hear me own
ears f'r tn shpace iv tin minits an
Whin she let up on tn Crachoor livery
cord iv me bein' was vibratin' loike
TELEGRAPH woires in a. ninety-mile gale.
Oi furtively looked around FIR an ave-
moo iv escape, but none appeared. Tn
aujience he'd wint wold and was
yellin' some domned Frinch wurrd or
other thOt he'd a core to it an Oi said
'Shure. an they ar-re mad because
she knocked tn core iv tn piano out,
an Oi yelled. 'YiS an We put tn core
back into it, ye cold-hearted inhumin
gurrl. 10 go an punch good piano to
PAGES loike thot. But she niver come
back amy more an Oh suppose tn
p'lice pinched her f'r deshtroyin'
property. TIL mkt number was
Shcrewbert'S serenadeS they said, an
Oh know it was correct. Sivin pianos
was reVolvinf at tn rate iv hundred
nerves an forty ear drums to tn
mint. Sivin young ladies was jabbin'
at tn KEY boards loike O hev' kilt
shnakes in tn ould country in tn
shpringtoime. first in wan cornher an
thin in two others. OF chried an me
heart called loudly FIR help an tn au-
jience wint into Mysteries. If they was
mad at tn first wan, they was rid hot
again tn lasht swim. Oh got up an
Oi shpake in varchoous wrath. An
it's music ye call thot, do ye" Oi
shouted, 'an' if it is. We wudn't know
music shud it asst We tn tonne iv tn
day. But they pulled me down an
sat Oil me. 'Kape yure mouth yc
ould fool they said. 'Shure, an it's
dhrunk ye ARE to disnturb a recital
iV tn young ladies iv tn All Saints
Church loike thot.' Oi lost me voice.
mainly bacauSe some wan was holdin'
me pop-oft valve. Oi said to mesilf.
Doolev, an it's afther livin' through
tn Cleveland panic an tn Book Club
an tn attacks iv Missis Dooley thot
we hev come down to dole loike
rat in a parlor full iv ladies' at a
musical recital Hennessy, tn iron
entered me soul. TIL mkt number
was worst thin amy. Fure young
ladies' marched out an sung a piece.
Wan iv thin shtarted oft soft loike
an thin tn rist butted in an drowned
her out till ye cudn't hev' known she
was singin' if We hedn't hev seen her
lips movin She sung. The morn-in
su-u-un comes e-eepin' Ger tn
hi-l-l-ls,' an tn others bawled out,
9TH hi-l-l-s, tn hi-l-l-ls, tn hi
I-l-uls.' 1t was hard sleddin' to hev
to kipe me safe. Me teeth got on
aidge an me hair wint shtraight up,
an it was as If pins was shtickin me
all over. Wan afther another tn
numbers was wint through with an
Oi got pasht resistance. Oi wudnt
hev' had tn brass to apply FIR a policy
afther thot, f'r it wud heV been
chatin' tn inshoorance payple. Oi
knew OF was near tn end iv me loife.
Me head was roarin' an me heart
missed bates f'r a whole mint at q
tonne. Whin tn thing was over. OF
he'd to be helped out. Wanst outsoide
iv tn torture room. tn sweet music iv
tn wheels iv traffic an tn ringin' iv
tn gongs, all miuglin' into soothin'
melody iy harmonious sounds, revived
mo an whin OF got home an heard
Missis Dooley's rankous voice tellin'
tn baby to shtop batin' tn dishpan.
an tn rist if tn kids to lave oft