New-York tribune., 1905-02-05

Governor Pennypacker of Pennsylvania who often
takes the public into his confidence regarding what
he would do editors if the laws entirely to
his liking had a chance offered to him the other
day to give the world view his ideal newspaper.
1.-THE Philadelphia Record asked the Governor to
edit it for day. The Governor declined Per-
haps after all Mr.. Pennypackers speciality is de-
vising punishment for editors. not for readers So
he sticks to his last.
THE SLUMP IN POETS.
But now-poor Hippocrene is dry,
Where once, with heavenly wings unfrayed.
Squadrons of prancing Pegasi
Swept up the Burlington Arcade;
And If YOU ask Where springs the rill
That layes the local Muses. Mountains!
And told 20 try the Shaftesbury Fountain
1 have friend that lately found
A pilgrim, come from oversee.
Pacing. az If on holy holy ground ground
Who said Right here Sir, | oplne'
Whereat the other made no sign,
Deeming his man ineoriated
Where lies the cause that facts are thusf
A dearth of topics? Surely no!
Why what about the otor-bus
The Tube and Bridge and L'Art Nouveau7
MAY not the loftiest poet find
Inspiring stuff in modern movements,
And trace a beauty (undesigned) -
Even in things like Strand improvements!
Alasl the evil lies within;
1t is the lust for higher pay,
The passion $50 debased) to win
Fortune by some more facile way;
Greedy TO pouch the larger loaf
Prefer to tout or type, or chaun,
Or ride mutes on funeral hearses
And this is why no bards occur.
That hunger, prompting like spur.
Which former genii enjoyed;
For all the poets dead and gone
Whose Muse contrived to melt the nation
A regimen OF strict starvation
Yet is the fault not theirs alone
Who love their ease before their Art;
The public's self is somewhat prone
To et its stomach blunt Its heart;
For men in these expansive times
Though earth were black with angels rhymes,
-' -Punch.
Judge Blank, a justice of the peace from the
Kechi Hills of Oklahoma, called upon TO per-
form the marriage ceremony for young couple.
The Judge. being from Arkansas. where ministers
usually oficiate on such occasions. was at loss
to know how to proceed, but. as THE Chickasaw
Express reports it. he rose to the occasion. He
commanded the couple to stand and be sworn as
follows: do you each solemnly swear that you
will obey the Constitution of the United States
and the constitution OF the great State OF ArlSan-
sas and perform the duties of your office to the
best of your ability so help you God?" The couple
nodded assent The Judge continued Then by the
power in me vested by the strong arm of the law.
pronounce you man and wife. now. henceforth and
forever and you will stand committed until the
fines and costs are paid, and may the Lord have
mercy your souls!"
Edna--What made you marry man with such a
homely name?
May-You ought to see how beautiful 1t looks
when il is signed to checkl-(Detrott Free Press.
Artificial rubies are produced in France by re-
ducing small natural rubies into very fine pow
der which is melted in electric furnace cooled
rapidly and crystallized. The product obtained
from what was OF little worth account OF mi
nuteness possesses a comparatively high value
The main difficulty encountered is to prevent cav
tiles and assures in the crystals The process
cannot be employed with emeralds and sapphires
as they discoored by the action OF the heat
Observation-Disclosures. lantern in hand. entered
the village drug store.
Say, have you anything that Will cure a coldY'
he asked -, -
piler.
ping his lantern. II have at last found an honest
man. ~ Chicago News.
Thomas MeIham. of Sioux City Iowa, had a novel
reason for a recent divorce. The Great Northern
Railway offered him good price for piece of real
estate. Mrs. Melham is in Europe. and her hus-
band sent her money TO come home and sign a deed
TO the property. but she did not come. The deed
had 10 be executed. Melham declared he would
get a divorce and then It would be necessary
for his wife to sign He did so. And he intends 10
remarry Mrs. Meham at her earliest convenience.
THE BALLAD OF THE ICE
little dish OF broken ice
Lay basking In the sun
Its owner had forgotten II
Before her work done
But when she went to get the Ice
And bring IL In to tea,
She found the ice WAS not what II