The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1905-03-30
No USE TO MAKE
RULES FOR FRIENDS
Absurdity of Telling Why We
Like or Love Certain
Persons

IhoSe persons who lay down rules
about what kind of woman attracts a
man, and say that such and such sort
of man no woman will ever like. are
wasting their breath and good white
paper if their ideas get into print. You
never know what kind of a woman will
like what kind of a man, nor can you
lay down rules-which are effective
Tor the guidance of a woman in liking
men. The most impossible women are
liked by men, and the strangest likes
and loVeS-are manifested by women
Nothing is more futile than arbitrary
laws about these matters. A man often
likes woman who is far from his
ideal, and many times he cannot even
understand why he likes her, and on
the contrary, sometimes he takes A
dislike to woman who has every
charm AS woman said not long ago,
nothing is stranger than the people,
people marry. The very intellectual
and serious sort of a man is almost
sure to take to himself silly little
woman who doesn't know psychology
from chemistry, and her companion
& ship rests his great mind. Stiffness is
often restful, and one seeks in another
the lack one feels in ones self. This
may account for the fact that many
interesting men have such uninterest-
ing wives 1t may also be made to an
Swer for the fact that very weak men
have often strong wives who manage
the household and are the backbone of
the menage.
Seldom does one go to a wedding
without hearing somebody say: Now.
what did he see in herr" or How could
she marry him, 1 should think she
would have liked such and such a
type" But that's the way it is in this
nrlH md iI-in
territorial sentiments exactly, nor can
they be directed according to will How
often we wish we could like someone
whom We do not care for, even going
so far as to analyZe our dislike and not
being able to find any just cause for it.
7 do not like you. DR.. Fell, the reason
why 1 cannot tell" That's ALL You
may admire the character of some
woman, consider her absolutely correct
in every relation of life, and yet not
like her at all. On the other hand YOU
may strongly disapprove of a certain
woman, dislike everything she does and
she may stand for the very thing that
are most antagOnistic to you, and yet
You like her immensely. You may even
love to distraction some sinner while
hating his sin. These things seem en-
trely beyond our conscious control and
often we lose patience with ourselves
for not dislilzing persons whom our
reason tells us are thoroughly dislik-
able
It is apparently this sort of involun-
tary liking which results in the mar
riages which appear So strange to us.
Persons utterly diSSimilar take fancies
to each other and many years after
when things do not 60 right, they may
make up their minds they have made a
mistake. But as long as the world
stands, it is quite likely that the same
o.
made.
There was a long article in an east
ern paper the other day devoted to the
care of the skin; one of those tiresome
affairs which tell you to DO so many
things TO your face before retiring
that you would have to stay up ali
night to do them, and in it was a quot
ed remark from Frenchman which
reads: The whole law of attraction
lies in the skin" From this remark
able dictum the woman who wrote
said that if ones attraction depended
on the skin, it was well to pay some
attention to it. Then followed advice
about massage and cold cream ad nau-
scum. Generally the French are wise
about life and love, but this Frenchman
was certainly absurdly wrong about
the skin If he meant that 'woman's
charm lay in her complexion. A beau
tiful skin is very attractive but a wom-
an with a charm about her may have
and often has-freekles on her face as
large as dimes, and nobody cares On
the other hand, she might have the
beauty of Venus and be uninteresting
and unattractive. 1t is personality
more than skin which charms. 1t would
be impossible for me to quote here all
the advice given by the writer of the
article referred to as to care of the
skin. She did not say a word about
keeping the face clean, and yet that
always helps little toward being at
tractive. But the laying down of ar
bitrary rules about liking and loving is
absurd and silly. We like whom we like
and we love whom we love, and there's
an end of it. When you have to try TO
love somebody, and argue with your
self about it, you may know it is not
the real thing.