The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-02-11
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A Compromise: Miranda-No. Fred.
Won't take the armchair; you take It.
+ red-Er-suppose we both take it?-
Life.
Young DR.. Swift calls every day on
the little widow" Dear mel Is she
as Ill as all thatT "No, but she is
as pretty as ali that."-Ex.
toodle-My dear girl. l have a little
more sense than you give me credit for.
Mrs. Foodle-I am glad Of that-for
your sake!-Illustrated Bits.
DE only thing dat some people gifts
out Of education" said Uncle Eben, sis
de ability to talk SOS people can't I'M
derstand em."-Washington Star.
BInks-sklnnem tells me he is going
into Catchem's law office as a partner.
Jinks-Doesn't he mean as an accom-
plice? - Cinnati Commercial-Tribun
Shells skin grating a very late dis
covery? He-No, It is only new
branch Of very old art; all grating
Is skin process-Deroit Free Press.
knicker-So the Newriches are get
ting culture? Bocker-Yes. they have
learned to speak of a house beautiful
instead Of beautiful house.-New
York Sun.
Broker-No more margin to put up7
Why, when the account was opened
you told me you were well off. Lamb
ley-So was, but 1 didn't know it
Town Topics.
She-Did you ever take your automo-
bile apart to see how It worked? He
Well, not exactly. 1 have taken 1t
apart to see how it didn't work.-Yon-
kers Statesman.
Mayme-What a gossip Mrs. Gladly
is! Edith-Yes, indeed. 1 never tell
her anything without finding out that
she has already told it herself.-Phil-
adelphia Bulletin.
Mr.. Jones-My daughter is only IS.
You had better wait until she is older.
The Lover-Well, I've waited two
years for her to get older, but she still
stays at 1S.-Judge.
After the Wake: Mrs. Cassidy
Twas very natural he looked. Mrs.
Casey-Ayel shure he looked fur all
the wurld loike lowe man layin' there
dead.-Illustrated Bits.
Giles-so you've got a place in that
banking house? 1 suppose it was be-
cause you knew the president? Har
ris-Partly that, and partly because
he didn't know me.-Boston Tran
script.
Aunt Hannah-Have you told any
one of your engagement to Mr.. Sweet
err? Edith-No; l haven't told a sou
except Bessie Miller, who thought h,
was going to ask her.-Boston Tran
script.
Johnny Geehaw-Paw, what's tn,
law Of gravitation? Farmer Geehav
I dunno. l hain't got time to keel
up with all the fool statoots the DUR
legislator passes.-Louisville Courier
Journal.
Highwayman-How much none.
have you got? Heldup-I couldn'
guess. Highwayman-You can't CUES
the amount? Heldup-No. Highway
man-Then give it up.-Clevelan'
Plain Dealer.
Neighbours heard your dog howlin
t last night. If he bowls three night
in succession it's a sure sign of deatt
D Nextdoor-Indeedl And who do yo
: think will die? Neighbors-The dos
= Chicago News.
Seedy Stranger-Excuse me, sir, br
/ can you change a dollar for me? HI
S manitarian-Why, yes. Seedy Strange
1 Thanks. And now will kindly tie
b me where l can get the dollar?-Cley'
= land Plain Dealer.
}, THAT Mrs. Snaggs is too much of
e aristycrat fur me to mingle wild
n "How's that?" "She was knocked dow
by a push cart and she had it put in
a de paper dat she was hit by an auto
d mobile. detroit Free Press.
It Tommy-Smokin cigarettes is def
r sure to hurt yer. Jimmy-G'onl Whe
a did yer git dat notion? Prom pop
S Jaw! he wuz jist stringin' yer" ~
n he wasn't stringin' me; he wuz stra
IT min me. OATS how l knows it hurts
IS Catholic Standard and Times.
How do you account for the fact
asked the doctor, las shown by actu
= investigation, that thirty-two out of e
. cry hundred criminals in the count
- are left-handedT' That's easily 6
!. counted for" said the professor; It
- other sixty-eight are right handed"
IL London Tit-Bits.
IS SAY" said the girls dear lit
: brother. "are you a baseball player
20 mo" replied young Mr.. Slowt'
n "what made you ask that?' &C
n. nothing. only when ma was askin' s
% the other day, whether you was eN
NJ goin' to come to bat, she said it look
ID to her as though you was playin'
n your release."-Ex.
Il: Mrs. Tittle-Wasn't 1t disgrace
IN the way these women talked duri
it the play last night: Mrs. Tattl'
rs Well. l should say so. Sarah Smook
as was trying TO tell me the fuss in
IN Brindles family. and those two won
~ made such a clatter l couldn't h
ad more than half she said.-Boston Tr
u script
til "You are an hour late this morni
Sam" Eyes, sab, l know it, sa
"Wen, what excuse have your
was kicked by II mule on my way he
us sab" THAT ought not to have
in So o,, hosr SAM "Wau