The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-09

you going to stop smoking? You must see
how It anneys me.
Mr.. Weed-But. madam, these seats arg
reserved for smokers.
Miss Anteek (scornfully)-You're gem
tieaan, l must SAL
Mr.. woodland you, madam, are not,
regret to say-Philadelphia Press -
DE Ritter tells me that for whole
year be didn't write a thing that was
worth while.
Yes. / believe it took him a year to
write that latest novel of his.''-Philadel-
phia Press.
Mr. Gotrox-When I was your age. sir,
ChoIIy Gotrox-Well, dad. when I am
your age, probably won't have dollar
Puck
sapleigh-Do you-aw-think it woGld be
inferior intellectually?
Miss Cutting-No, but think it would be-
impossible.-Chicago Daily News
Mr. Johnston-Miss Eliza, whah aiah yo'
calkerlatin' on spending yo'r vacation?
ton, Mistah Johnson Seems ter me dar is
anudder question comes afore dat one
judge.
lis it true that you have senatorial as
pirations?" asked the reporter over the
| phone.
been called by mistake, ''but I'm not sure
that I can land him. Detroit Free Press.
DIR. Jones-My dear sir, 1 have just been
to call on your wifes mother, and hei con-
dftion is very serious.
smith-Ten me the plain truth. doctor:
| worst.-Town and Country.
First Waiter-Did that Arizona ralch-
man give you tip?
Second Waiter-I should say he did He
told me that if / didn't step lively bed
blow off the top of my head.-Detroit Fee
Press
DE po man got treasure in heaven. amt
yes, but he can't git de banks ter cash
a draft on ft-please GodI'-Atfanta Cor
stitution.
fena RRs0P BEST aag is ia asa
ton. Utica Daily Press.
Short say. old man. will you let me
Long-Your pay day. or the day you'll
pay me?-Washington Post.
It never thought" said the eoneeited lee
| turer, that my voice would fill that hall
No. replied the candid man: II thought
at one time it would empty it."-Philadel-
phia Ledger
Mr.. Tambo-Do you mean to tell me, Mr..
Bones, that that ignorant gentleman to
whom you were talking is host IN him
self
| mighty deceivin', sab.
Mr.. Tambo-But what did he ever dor
Why IS he host in himself?
Mr.. Bones-Dat gem man am a host in
himself, Mistah Tambo, becaze he am de
landlord of de leadin' hotel In Fucker
Brush.
Mr. Tambo-I.adies and gentlemen, with
your kind permission, Mr.. Higheoilah will
now sing My Girls Name is Miss Toober,
and She's My Sweet Potato. Detroit Tri-
bune.
Wasn't that woman's club success?" i.
mo: it was all the discomforts OF
home. Brooklyn Life.
Visitor-How old are you. Johnny?
Johnny-I'm too big to cry and not big
York Sun.
T4icks-GrizzIe is always waiting for
soonge o''f isn't It he? u INNS .
Wicks-Well. no; the average sponge fills
up with water.-Phiiadelphia Ledger.
The Russian high admiral was vexed-
Why he asked of the naval secretary,
"have you drawn the sinking fund for
these battleship expenses?"
We'll" answered the official evasively.
Il did it for divers reasons.
the admiral, and the functionary was
soaked.-CIevelane Leader.
st met a man the other day. who says
he is on the best terms with all Of his re-
lations."
HE can't help it. He's the only one in
the family that has any money, and they
all insist upon being friendly. Detroit
Free Press.
And was it because Jimkins took the
young lady out to lunch that all the trout
ooh, no; it wasn't that. 1t was because
his wife found it out."-Milwaukee Senti-
mel.