Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1905-11-04

had amassed wealth and encountered
muffin but trouble. As pore man
didn't want to marry; as rich young
man my gal had gone back on me and
de law had token me by de neck.
Ebery night I lay in my cell and
thought and flggered, and bimeby got
hold Of de right end of de string When
come out O. prison turned lecturer,
and OATS de reason am heah tonight
l am heah to prove to you dat wealth
nm a curse and poverty blessin'.
[Cheers and signs and groans.]
II see befo' me In inaaginashun rich
man. He smokes ten cent cigars; he
rents box at de postof1ce; he kin go
down to Coney Island and shoot de
shutes any time he wants to. II de
grocer comes round and says de bill
Is $24O, it am paid on de spot, and he
am told dat If he sends up any mo-
wilted peas he will lose de rich mans
custom. De rich man don't have to
worry about coal and taxes. He don't
have to watch fur bargain sales to git
suit of clothes. He kin buy ten pairs
If shoe strings to once, and he needn't
worry about de street car conductor
beatin' him out Of nickel. He owns
bosses, and he keeps servants, and he
am de big man when Fourth of July
comes round. [Applause, during which
Samuel Shin broke pane Of glass with
his elbow and was led out of the hall
between Anthony Tyler and Kurnel
Cabiff]
You applaud now, my frens. but
wait mint You have sawn only one
side Of de picture. From the mint
a man gifts rich de book agents are
arter, him. Everybody who has eber
bowed to him wants to borry $40.
The grocer beats him, de butcher
swindles him, and de policeman on dat
beat stands in wild his cook and is fur.
nished wild all de lemon pie he kin de-
your. De rich man am game for all.
He has got to go to church cherry Sun
day, no matter how good de fishin'
am, and when he's dar he's got to sot
way up in front whar eberybody kin
see de wrinkles in de back Of his coat.
How often do you s'pose de rich man
has billed dinner7 Not once var.
He dassent have. 1t hain't catosh III
his circle. Did you ebber see rich
man sittin' on de top rail Of fence
eatin' a raw turnip? Nebber in you
life. He's got to sit down on stuffed
char at home and eat oranges. Has
rich man got hogpen in his back
yard where he kin 60 out and scratch
de back Of hog wild stick and hear
de critter chuckle wild pleasure? Kin
de rich man sot around de grocery in
de evenin' in his shirt sleeves or dare
drink his 'lasses out of jug? Do
you ebber hear Of his goin' fishin' or
skatin' or of arter huckleberries? Not
on your life! Tremendous applause.l
"All de rich man kin do am to be
rich and have heaps Of trubble. He's
got to eat what he don't like, dress
as be don't 'llnt to, and hang around
de Waldorf-Astoria when he'd heap
rather be out on the commons playin'
ball wild de boys. His wife Ia after
him all de time fur mo- diamonds, his
UVy0 0M IuuOM IOuuO hAO ludIIylu
chorus gals, and his darters am cryin'
to go to Europe and buy out Switzer-
land. [Groans Of sympathy.l
II has knowed as many as seben
rich men in my time and has had
private talks wild dem all. When dey
found dat was Junius Juniper John
son Of Jackson dey just talked to me
in confidence. Ebery one of dose seben
men told me dat he'd glib his old butes
to be pore and happy man agin. Dey
couldn't chen glib dere money away
and be pore like de rest Of us. DER
wives wouldn't let 'em do it. Dey had
to keep right on bein' rich and havin'
trubble day in and day out and it will
not s'prise you to hear dat dey all
died befo' DER time. [Sensation.l
"My dear frens, don't sigh to be rich.
Don't nln:, c-,-' e-,'s----->r =" --o~-,',