davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-16

charged water into the room, and the police
dragged out the fat woman, who had tainted,
and the living skeleton whom she had pulled
down into her lap, and laid them out in the
ring, and then they got hold Of pa and pulled
him out, and the bearded woman had tainted
in pas arms, and the stove was tipped over
and was setting fire to the furniture, and they
brought the bearded woman and the fat wo-
man to their senses by pouring water on them
from hose. Finally they were sent to their
quarters, and the other owner of the show
came to pa and said he hoped this would be
the last of that kind of business as long as pa
remained with the show, that one of the rules
was that no man in an executive capacity
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-16

keeper took an iron hook and hooked it into
the elephants skin and said: Let that man
down." and he let pa down easy and the
keeper some way showed the elephant that
pa was one of the owners of the show, and
that elephant acted just as human as could be,
for he fairly toadied to pa, like society lead
er that has given the cold shoulder to some
one that is as good or better than they, or
like an impudent employe who has insulted
his employer and is afraid of losing his job.
elephants they bow down to us, and think
could take an iron hook and drive an ele-
plant anywhere.
There are all classes among the animals
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-16

OF butt in the elephants are on to you in
minute and roll their eyes at you and look
upon you as common person" and if you
attempt any familiarity they look at you as
much as to say: "Sir, am not allowed to as
sociate with any except the 400" Then they
turn their backs and act so much like shoddy
aristocracy that you would swear they were
human.
I remember when pa was first in the ele-
plant corral the keeper forgot to tell the big
elephant who pa was, and when the keeper
raised up one foot of the elephant and exam
ined corn Pa went up and pinched a bunch
on the elephants leg and said to the keeper:
That looks to me like a spavin," and he
nebbed it hard. Well, the elephant groaned
like boy with a stone bruise his heel,
and before pa knew what was coming the ee-
phant wound his trunk under pa and raised pa
up on his tusks, and was going to toss him in
the air and catch him as he came down and
walk on him, when pa yelled murder, and the
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-16

feet, and is 100 feet high, while fourth,
the largest yet discovered, measures $50
feet across the base and 100 feet on the
slope of the pyramid. The temple build
ing on the top of this huge pyramid is
AZ by 9S feet, with a doorway guarded
by sculptured lions. of themselves seven
feet high. The walls are of extraor-
dinary thickness.
Judging from the arrangement Of the
pyramids and the general plan of the
city, the three explorers agree that no
other temples in Central America so
strongly support the theory that the
Mayan metropolis was laid out along
astronomical lines. The great height
of the mounds was undoubtedly due,
explained Professor Saville. to an evil
dent desire to secure length of axis,
and the fact that all the Tikal temples
face the cardinal points further sup
ports the theory. One may trace the
sequences OF the mighty structures by
their positions, the second, third and
fifth temples facing the rising sun and
following one another in order of time,
the third one having been built when
the erection Of the first had impeded
the fairway of the second. and SO on,
In rotation.
Near this giant quintet which form
a plaza, were several crumbled build
ings, hardly more than foundations.
which were probably the palaces OF the
priests. Before each building or foun-
dation stands a huge carved altar OF
stone depicting q Mayan chieftain.
slaborately arraysd IN tunie, supple
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-16

established that the city known as
Tikal covered an area of at least a
league. Evidently a Mayan capital as
well as metropolis, the site must have
been an ideal one at the time the city
and its people fiourished. Just when
that was cannot as yet be determined
exactly, though 1t is probable that the
place was abandoned hundreds of years
before the Spaniards come, according
to Professor Saville.
Coming down to modern times, the
ruins were first discovered. although
their existence was periodically re-
ported by the natives, by Governor
Ambrosio Tut and Colonel Mendez, in
1s4s. In 1877 they were visited by Bern
oulli, who however, died on his way
home. His observations, as contained
in copious notes, were lost.
Professor Maudslay visited the ruins,
without remaining long enough to get
more than an approximate Idea Of their
Importance, In 1882 setting out from
Copan and journeying northward for
ten days through the unbroken forest.
Fourteen miles north Of the Rio de la
Passion he found a ferry operated by
natives in the village Of seluc. a head
quarters Of the mahogany cutters.
Crossing the river at seluc he came a
day later to Peten TIA Lake and the
island town Of Flores. From there, as
his hitherto unpublished report states.
the journey was continued in canoes to
the northeast shore Of the lake, ana on
through thirty more miles OF forest to
the majestic ruins Of Tikal
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-16

mented by a gown and a sort Of tur-
ban, holding in his hand mace os
scepter. He is standing in an attitude
of triumph over a PROSTATE victim.
Prompted by the utter absence of
springs and water in the surrounding
country. Investigations have revealed
immense underground aqueducts and
chaltunes, or reservoirs, in which enor-
nous quantities of water were once
stored.
Continuing his explorations by cut
ting and burning way through the
forest enveloping the ruins, Professor
Mailer has found an immense quad
rangular area, which may have been
used as a stadium, where athletic
games were played and races run, al
though as yet no evidence has been dis
covered Of the Mayans having horses.
Parallel grooves worn in the stone
flooring, however, point to the use OF
wheeled vehicles. possibly form OF
chariot. in contests such as were pop
ular in Byzantium and Rome.
Prior to beginning work on the ruins
of Tikal the explorer spent considerable
time and labor among the majestic
ruins Of La Reforma, chinikiha. Chan
Gala, Xupa. Peltra and Piedras Negras.
in the valley OF Usumatsintla. besides
some months spent on the site OF an
cient chlchen TIA, In Yucatan. ana
these once prosperous ana progressive
cities OF prehistoric times are but few
among numberless others which lie hid
den among the Central American jun
gles
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-16

down the pike, and guess this show business
is all right, all right.
APRIL 2I.-We are getting acquainted
with the animals and it is just like going into
society.
There is the aristocracy which consists Of
the high born animals; the middle class and
the 1ow-down, common herd, and when you
go among the animals as strangers you are
received just as you would be in society If
you are properly introduced to the elephants
by the elephant keeper, who vouches for your
standing and honor, the elephants take to you
all right and extend to you certain courtesies,
same as society people would invite you to
dinner but if you wander around and sort
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-16

must under any circumstances take any lib
critics with any of the females connected with
the show.
Pa was hot and said when women got
crazy in love no man was safe, and the other
owner of the show said that was all right
this time, but not to let it occur again and
pa tried to explain how the bearded woman
came to jump on to him and faint in his arms,
but the owner said: THAT is all right, but you
can't hold 'em in your arms before folks" and
then pa offered to whip any man who said
he was in love with any bearded woman and
he pulled off his coat. Just then I came along
and told the whole story, and then the crowd
all had good laugh and pa took them out
and treated.
I guess it is all settled now, cause the
living skeleton and the fat woman have got
permission to get married. the bearded lady
is sweet on pa, and girl has just joined the
show who walks wire, and she says I am
about the sweetest thing that ever came
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-16

ENTRAL AMERICAN cities
buried ages ago in forests of rose
~ wood and mahogany have rec
such numbers by a trio Of American
archaeologists as to reveal what
promises to be the eighth wonder of
history-the ruins of Tikal.
Among the amazing discoveries
made in the last decade by delivers in
what is known as the Usumatsintla
valley. on the borders of Guatemala
and Mexico and extending into Yucca
tan, nothing more astonishing has
come to light than the remains of this
mysterious Mayan metropolis, which
was a crumbling ruin probably
five hundred years before Columbus
and his Spanish followers set eyes
upon America
Was It contemporary of Nineveh
or Babylon and Troy? What manner
OF people once flourished there? Elk
actly when and why was the city
abandoned? Science can hardly as yet
reply to these questions. Only enough
has been discovered to establish the
inhabitants as the most progressive
and highly civilized of prehistoric peo-
pies in America. Yet comparatively
nothing in detail is known of them ex-
cept as meagrely reported by Profess
sors A. p. Maudslay and Theodore
Mailer, the latter being now In Guate-
mala at the head of an expedition
sent out six months ago by the Pea
body Museum of Harvard.
SO remote are the ruins and the
means Of communication SO dinicult
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-16

afraid to offend them for fear the leaders may
some time go into bankruptcy and the goats
will take their places and never let them get
a smell Of the good things Of life.
The bears are the working people Of the
show, and the big grizzlies are the walking
delegates who control the amalgamated asso-
citation of working bears, and the occupants
of the other cages have got to cater to Uncle
Ephrain, the walking delegate, or be placed
on the unfair list and sugged.
The hyenas and the jackaIs and the wolves
represent the anarchists, who are down on
everybody in the show, who won't do thing
to help along and won't allow any other ami
NAL to do anything, and who seem to want
to burn and slay, to carry torch by night and
poison by day and want everything in the
show to be chaos. Those animals are never
so happy as when the wind and lightning
strike the tent and blow it down, and kill
people and create panic, and then these an
archsts sing and laugh and enjoy their pecu-
liar kind of animal religion.
The zebras and giraffes are the dudes Of
the show and you can imagine, if they were
human, they would play tennis and golf, drive
four-n-hands and pose to be admired, while
the royal Bengal tigers, if they were half
human would drive automobiles at the rate
of a mile a minute on crowded streets, run
over people and never stop to help the wound
ed but skip away with sneer, as much as to
say: what are you going to do about it ?"
The hippopotamus is like the lazy fat man
that groans from force of habit sits down as
though it was the last act of his life and only
gets up when the bell rings for meals, and
he sweats blood for fear he will lose his meal
ticket and starve to death.
The seals are the clean-cut Baptists of the
show, who believe in immersion, and they
have more brain than any animals in the show,
because they live on fish diet, though they
have a pneumonia cough that makes you feel
like sending for doctor.
Gee but last night when we thought spring
had come and we could start on the road pretty
soon the snow fell about a foot Deep and it
was so cold that all the animals howed all
night and shivered and went on regular
strike. We had to rut blankets on them and
no one of them seemed to be comfortable ex-
cept the polar bears, the arctic foxes and the
thought it was good time to take the boa
constructor and pull an liberated tooth, cause
he was sort of dumpish, SO pa and | helped
hold the snake, which is about twenty feet
long.
Pa was up near the snakes head and when
the man with the forceps got hold of the tooth
and gave it yank the confounded snake come
RI and beoan TO stand on his head and thrash
around, and pa dropped his hold and started
to climb the center pole, but he got caught in
a gasoline torch and they had to turn hose
on pa, and he was awful scared, cause he al
ways did hate snakes, but they gave the snake
chloroform and got him quiet, and pa came
down and they gave him pair of baggy
trousers belonging to the clown to go to dinner
in, and pa was sight
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-16
SUNDAY
J ULY l6


WINTER QUARTERS OF THE ONLY
CIRCUS April 2o.-Pa has had hard job to-
day. The boss complained to pa that the fat
woman had been taking ant-fat or dieting or
something cause she was losing flesh and
the living skeleton was beginning to fat up.
He wanted pa to call them into the Office and
have diplomatic talk with them about their
condition, cause if this thing continued they
would ruin the show.
So pa went to the office and sent for them,
and was there as witness in case of trou-
ble The fat woman came in first, and there
was no chair big enough for her, so she sat
down on a leather lounge, which broke and
let her down on the floor and pa tried to help
her up, but it was like lifting load of hay.
So he leaned her against the wall and said:
MADAM, the management has detailed me
to censure you for losing fesh and I am in
structed to say if you do not manage to take
on about fifty pounds more flesh before the
show starts on the road you don't go along.
What you want to do is to eat more starchy
food and sleep more at night They tell me
you go out nights to dances and drink high
balls, and this has got to stop. Drink beer
off. This show can't afford to take along no
400 pound fairy for fat woman when the
contract calls for 500 pound mountain of
flesh, see?" and pa looked just as stern as
could be-
The fat woman began to cry and sob so
it sounded like an engine blowing off steam,
and she told pa that the cause of her losing
flesh was that she was in love with the living
skeleton, and that he had been paying atten-
ton to the bearded woman and she would
scratch her eyes out if she could catch her.
Just then the living skeleton came in, and
when he saw the fat woman sitting on the
floor crying and pa talking soothing to her and
telling her he could appreciate her condition,
cause he had been in love some hisself, the
skeleton pushed pa away and took hold of her
fat hand and tried to lift it and said "What
is the matter with my itty tootsy-wootsy and
what has the bad old man with spinach on his
chin been doing to your"
Then he turned on Pa and his legs began
to shake and rattle like pair of bones in a
minstrel show and he said: II will hold you
responsible for this" Pa said he was not 90
ing to interfere in the love affairs of any of
the freaks and just then the bearded woman
came in, and when she saw the living skeleton
holding the hand of the fat woman, who sat
or the floor like a balloon bowed up, the
bearded woman gave kick at the living skel-
eton, which sounded like clothes bars falling
down in the laundry, and she grabbed the fat
woman's blonde wig and pulled it off, and then
the bearded woman began to cry and she
threw herself into pas arms and began to sob
on his bosom and mingle her whiskers with
his.
Pa yelled for help and thought it was
time for me to be Going something, so I went
outside the office to the fire alarm box and
touched button, and then 1 ran like thunder
for the police, and the firemen came with ex-
tinguishers and began to throw chemically
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-16

He found the place inconceivably des-
olate. the forests being so dense as to
render it difficult to locate the position
of more than a few buildings besides
five great mounds, which rose far above
the tallest trees. All around was a
trackless waste of forest as far as the
eye could reach.
Measurements Of the Temples
Professor Maudslay found the outer
and inner doorways of the temples COW
cred with magnifcently carved lintels
of Chico sapote wood, wood which has
withstood ages of sun and storm. Some
of the carvings in the wood reveal a
knowledge of drawing and boldness OF
conception which compare favorably
with the best Egyptian and Assyrian
work
Professor Mailer has already made a
clearing In the forest surrounding the
Ave temples, each standing In the CEN
ter Of small plain at the top of a
mammoth pyramid, or mound. The base
of the first temple discovered measures
1SO feet across the front and slightly
less on the sides. the temple, built OF
beautifully carved stone, being reached
by stone stairway twenty-eight feet
broad and projecting nineteen feet from
the base Of the mound. Measurements
taken at the northwest angle from the
base Of the pyramid to the northwest
corner gave 1O4 feet. the temple itself
measuring Al by 2e feet. II is so feet
high. with an interior Of three rooms
OF different fioor attitudes.
A third temple measures 1sl By 1es
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-16

in a menagere the same as human society.
The lions are like the leaders of society who
are we'll born and proud, but poor. They are
always invited everywhere, but never enter
tain, though they kick and find fault and ogle
everybody and look wise and distinguished
The sacred cattle are too good to live and
pose as the pious animals who do not want to
associate with the bad animals, and are con-
stantly wearing an air of 81 am holer than
any of you" but they will reach through the
bars of their cage and steal alfalfa from the
yak and the mule deer, and if they kick about
it the sacred cattle look hurt and act like it
was part of their duty to take up collection,
and they below sort of hymn to drown the
kicking.
The different kinds of goats in menagerie
are the butters-in or the new rich, who get in
the way of the society leaders and try to outdo
them in society stunts, but they smell SO that
the other animals are made SICK and the goats
are only tolerated because animal society is
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-16
Pa Reyes the Fat Woman for Losing Bearded Lady Fain In Pas
liberated

Copyright Bov@BY HON. GEORGE W. PECKrsonu
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1905-11-02
PUNY, BUT PLUCKY.
How q White Man cowed Gang Of
Natives In South Africa.

A young Englishman who had in
vested his all in spans of oxen, wag-
ons and stores started for the north
ern part of Rhodesia, in South Afri-
ca, to trade: He was accompanied
by dozen paid blacks. His first
and last adventure on his trading
trip is given by the author Of
''South Africa"
The Englishman was puny man,
bnt with quite a towering spirit.
Among the "boys" he had taken
with him was a huge black, a Zulu,
who had been cast in natures lar
gest mold.
When they had left the sparse
fringe of civilization the English
man found that there was plotting
going on among his followers. He
was then alone in a desert, with a
dozen blacks, and he knew their Ian
guage well enough to know that the
Zulu was persuading the Others in
Scriptural language, "Come, let us
kill him, and the inheritance will be
ours"
By eavesdropping, justified in the
circumstances, he discovered that
the proposal seemed good in their
eyes. They were to kill him, divide
the oxen and carts and the stores Of
merchandise, to separate, each man
to his own kraal, and when the Eng
lishman and his venture were quite
forgotten they could trade with the
spoils.
The little Enghshman had a big
spirit and true courage. He got up
from where he lay and went into the
circle of conspirators and stood in
front of the mutinous Zulu and told
him to get up. At first the man
refused, but the Englishman had a
sjambok ia rawhide whip in his
tight little fist and struck at his enc
my. And then the little man gave
word of command to the other con-
spirators to take the Zulu ringlead-
er and tie him up to the wagon, and
SO strange thing is the will they
obeyed him, although reluctantly.
Then the puny Englishman used his
sjambok until he was exhausted and
the man well punished.
The trader went on with his ven
>ture, made successful trip and had
no further trouble with his blacks.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1905-11-02
Yet He Had to Serve.

A Kansas City young man had an
unusual but excellent reason for
complaining when he was impaneled
for jury duty. He was waiting in
the hall outside the courtroom and
worrying over the problem of how
ne was to be excused. He looked so
detected that finally another juror
asked him what was wrong. "Why,
I'm summoned here on the jury"
was the reply, "and 1 don't see how
L can possibly serve.'' "Why can't
you server" asked the other. "Be-
cause" said the worried young man,
1--WE got an engagement to take a
young lady riding this afternoon,
and if I don't keep it she'll never
look at me again. Darn it'' But
the young man was kept on the jury
panel.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1905-11-02
Shifting the Blame.

A French review tells a story
showing a child's acuteness and lack
of moral sense. Walking with her
aunt in friends garden, little
girl dropped and broke borrowed
doll. "Oh, they will scold me when
we 60 back" said the child. Not at
al" she was assured. 81 will tell
them that it was an accident and
say it was not your fault" Where
upon the child returned quickly to
the house and was sitting with her
friends when her aunt appeared at
the door of the room. ooh, you can
come in" cried the child. "They
won't scold you. I've told them that
it was an accident and that you did
not break the doll on purpose"
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1905-11-02
How FOoIseap Got Its Name.

Every one probably has wondered
why certain size paper, familiar to
all who write, is called foolscap. As
early as the year 1901 watermarks
were employed by paper manufac-
turers to distinguish their products.
One grade of paper much in demand
during the middle ages, resembling
what we gall foolscap and known by
that name, had for its water mark a
FOOLS head wearing cap and bells.
The mark appeared on this grade of
paper until the middle Of the seven
teenth century, when the figure of
Britannia was substituted by the
English manufacturers, and other
marks by other paper makers. No
one has, however, changed the name
of the paper, so we have to this day
the foolscap paper.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1905-11-02
A CLEVER TRICK.
The Story Of a Theft on Mississippi
River Steamboat.

A dingy steamer was plodding
down the Mississippi. A boy sat
in the stern yainly trolling for cat
fish in the muddy water 1t was so
hot that all the other passengers
were below asleep.
The steamer suddenly whistled, a
town of gray frame houses hove III
sight, and hot young man with a
big telescope valise" hurried up
the companionway.
"I'll get off here, captain" he
said.
F'Your ticket amt for here" the
captain growled.
II know, but I've changed my
mind" said the youth.
A few minutes later he and his
telescope valise" were landed on
the worm eaten old wharf of the
town of Cicero, and the dingy
steamer was plodding down the riv-
er again.
She had gone about mile when
another young man rushed from be-
low wild eyed.
'My telescopel" he cried. "Some
one has stolen my telescope! There
was 81, 200 in It'll"
The captain started. He looked
back at Cicero, which now lay hid
den behind a bend of the river. He
called the mate and told him to COW
er the bow with some black tarpau-
lin, to move certain pieces of cargo
aft and to tie some white canvas
around the smokestack. Then he
turned the steamer around, and she
began to move up stream toward
Cicero again. She looked like diff
ferent boat.
At Cicero she stopped. On the
deserted wharf there was one per-
son-the young man with the tele-
scope, who had been landed there.
He leaped aboard now, the boat
warped out into the stream, and
then the captain appeared.
''Hello!" said the captain.
'Why, this is the same boat p
The young man trembled.
ut certainly is" said the captain,
"and this, l reckon, is the valise we
came back for"
He opened the telescope, and
within in a wallet lay the stolen
Eoney. The owner readily identi-
fed his belongings. The thief was
put in irons in the engine room.
ga smart trick" everybody said.
kansas City Independent.