Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1905-02-10

paid-up subscribers. also for those who beg, Dor
row and steal the STANDARD In order that they
may enjoy little sunshine as they journey
through this vale of tears)
A storm that keeps church empty
in city, rarely affects matinee. A
queer world, my masters.
A woman ceases to read store adver-
tisements when she ceases to make
purchases-not until then.
He that courts and runs away
Will live to court another day,
But he that courts and does not wed,
May find himself in court instead.
A Seattle paper heads q paragraph
Zion Church Again in Court" Must
be peculiar sight, to see church in
court, to say the least.
The man who is run over by an
automobile during these up-to-date
times never thinks OF doctor, but
madly yells for lawyer.
Just because the water pipe is leak.
ing, and the water is spelling the new
hall carpet, and your wife insists you
phone for a plumber-you don't have
to. It's cheaper to get new carpet.
Gov.-elect Douglas of Massachusetts,
has on his staff FIVE Generals, eight
Colone.s, five Majors and a select
bunch Of Captains and Lieutenante.
And yet he is plain down-east Gov.
ernor.
Senator Dick, of Ohio, has been
made chairman OF the committee on
Indian Depredations. 1t is possible
that he may ask his committee to
investigate the outbreak OF the Den
yer savages.
There were 5,205 votes cast for
Roosevelt in Louisiana, 8,3l6 in Flor
ida and 3,l47 in Mississippi. by per.
sons whom the Democrats charitably
excuse on the ground that they didn't
KNOW any Detter.
A troupe of trained revivalists is to
undertake to convert 5000 of Kansas.
City's most accomplished sinners.
The contract looks like big one, but
when anything is undertaken in Kan.
sas City, it goes through with whoop.
After the description Of the brides
gown at recent wedding, a San Fran.
cisco society reporter wrote: "The
groom wore worried look" Is such
costume considered en- regle at Califor.
MIA weddings, may We blushingly ask?
We have heard a few men declare
that their wives made them all they
are. Judging from two or three OBJ
jects of this sort who we have met
during our career, the wife did not
waste moro Than half an hour on the
job.
An animal supposed TO be a gnu
Was recently seen near Gnuport, Gnu
Jersey, by a man whose gnu resolu.
tions when he turned over a gnu leaf
at the opening OF the Gnu Year would
naturally prevent him from seeing
things that do not exist.
Sometimes we fall into reverie. It
is at such moments that our thoughts
turn backward, and we balance the &C.
counts of our past life, and try to
strike q debtor and creditor account,
between fate and ourselves. And the
balance is invariably in favor OF self.
Notice.
Know all men, nations, people, kin
dreds, languages and tongues, that Dad
Shanks' lodging house is now located in
the building known as the Red Front
clothing store, and Central Lodgings,
Front street. First class in every par
ticular.-Snohomish Tribune.
So many department stores in the
United States wanting good, live up.
to-date "ad" writer, and Dan Shanks
conducting a lodging house in that
2x4 town-Snohomish!
A San Jose, CAL, man proposes to
train 500 tanned monkeys to pick his
prune crop. The monkeys are now
on the way from Acapulco. Panama.
Some people claim that man originst-
ed from the monkey. Taking this
idea as a truth. it only goes to prove
that the Bible quotation is genuine,
"The last shall be first, and the first
shall be last" No use for white men
to monkey" around q prune yard,
now.
A goose is the sensation OF Tacoma -,
at present. Hunters lay traps of all
sort and even remain up all night to
get shot at the bird, but it has man.
aged, so far, to keep out of range OF
shot. Poor old Tacoma! With Texas
itch, epizootic, wanting to be called
Electric City, wanting the capital, in
sisting that Mount Rainier be known
as Mount Tacoma, as q means of keep.
ing the name before the public, as q
last resort, it springs goose-gag. As
the destiny of the village situated on
Commencement Bay seems to be in the
cir, perhaps The goose prefers natural
to hot air.
There was an accident in Colorado
coal mine recently. and fifty or sixty
miners were killed. Still, the news.
papers did not point to the circum.
stance with horror, as they do when
there is a railroad accident. We wish
some one would explain to us why
there is 80 much hatred OF railroads