davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1905-06-23

morning. before you had aired out the
place. Your ears must have burned
when we were talking about you.
II you want to get an idea of Ma
pies, at its worst, go down into your
cellar and round up all the Goldfish,
onions, kraut, limberger cheese, kero-
sene, rotten potatoes, and everything
that Is dead. put it all in a bushel
basket. and just before the health Of
fcers come to pull your place get
down on your knees. and put your
head down in the basket, and let some
one sit on our head all thI forenoon,
and you will have just such . half day
as dad and l had in the poor quarter
of Naples, and it will not cost you half
as much as 1t did us. unless. after
you have enjoyed yourself in your Gel
lar with YOU head in the basket, you
decide to have a run of sit kness and
hire a doctor who will charge you the
price of a trip to Europe.
Well, sir, Naples is a dandy, in it's
clean part. The bay of Naples is a
dead ringer for Milwaukee bay, in
shape and beauty, but Milwaukee lacks
Vesuvius and Pompeii, for suburbs.
and she lacks the customary highway
men to hold you up. Every man, wom-
an and child we have met makes a
living out of the tourists. and nobody
that | have seen works at any other
business.
We woke up the first morning and
dad looked out the window and saw
V%esuvius belching forth flame. and
lava, n stone fences. and wanted to
turn in a fire alarm. but l told him
that that fire had been raging ever
since the Christian era, and was o
one Of these incendiary barn burnings.
but he opened the window and yelled
fire. and the porters and chamber
maids came running to our room, with
buckets of water, and wanted to know
where the fire was. Dad pointed out
OF the window towards Vesuvius and
said: Some hired girl has been start
ing a fire with kerosene, in that shan
ty on the knoll out there, and the
whole ranch will burn II you don't
turn out the fire department, you gosh
blasted lazy devils. Get a move on,
and help carry out the furniture"
Well, they Gained dad. and then I
had to go to work and post dad up
on the geography he had forgotten.
and finally he remembered seeing a
picture of a volcano or burning noun
tain in his geography 80 years ago, but
he told me he never believed there was
. volcano In the world. but that he
always thought they put those pictures
In Biographies to make them sell.
How a man a attain the prominence
aud position in the business world that
dad has, and not know Gny more than
be does, is what beats re.
or course you know, having kept a
grocery since the war. md having had
opportunities to study history, by the
pictures on the soap boxes and insur-
nce calendars. that Mo-. the Roman
tyrant. after Rome was burned, while
he fiddled for a sance in a barn, got
SO accustomed I. fire and birthstone
that he retired to Naples and tcvched
~ V~esrv!us. Just 80 20 could loox st
Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1905-06-23
For the Hair.

To maze the hair grow have 1t
shampOood every fortnight with eggs
sAd not water. Every night rub In
tAis tonie with the finger tips: Forty
eight grains OF resorcIn, one-fourth
ounce Of glycerin, diluted alcohol to
oil a two-ounce bottle. Remember that
the general health has much to do
with the condition Of the hair.
Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1905-06-23
When Philosophers Meet.

whats tho difference between beip'
married an bein' in jail?" asked the
Pohick philosopher.
"There's a heap o. d~in"s%sce," "a.
piled the sage Of Plunkvilr. "A maA
In Jail kin git some time on fer GOOD
behavior Chicago Sun.
Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1905-06-23
Overcome.

Timgon-I v tainted away but
once. and that was just a few days ago.
Simson-What was the cause?
MY wife told ME that she had trained
herself so she could walk through a
store full II bargain counter sales. with
her purse ful. of money, and never bu,
a thing ."-DetrDit Free Press.
Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1905-06-23
A wAsrE.PAPER BASKET.
~ One Needs Many Of These Articles
Directions Are Given for .
Home Made One.

Since no Don is complete without Z
writing-table, every room should be
provided with its necessary accom-
paniment. . waste-paper receptacle.
This, although not usually placed OBJ.
trusively In the foreground, should be
in sight and ready to hand, and there
fore 1t Is we'll to choose one that will
be In keeping with the furniture of
the room. A subdued green or russell
brown would go with almost any col.
oring. Our sketch shows pretty and
practicable idea built upon a card
board box. A square one Of conven-
lent size should be obtained, or II
might b concocted by FASTING pieces
Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1905-06-23
Spring Tonic.

No hettev spring tonic can be takes
than a rake, a shovel. a garbage raj and
u whitewash crush. all aimed at winters
leftover microbes. -Passiac Herald.
Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1905-06-23
Willing To,

Mrs. Hanpeck-And you call yourself
a man?
Mr.. Henpeck'-Certaiply, my dear:
that is-er-if you will permit me to.
~2it-BltS.
Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1905-06-23
For LiN er 1pots.

Reform the diet. Eat stewed rhu-
barb for breakfast. Take spring medi-
cines. Keep in the open air ard do
not eat much meat.
Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1905-06-23
Coat Material,

Any fabric does for coats this No.
son. from sheerest Acs aad ltnsA u
cloth anI leAtxss. "
Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1905-06-23
C.sts Money.

The water system is to cost $50 GOO. 0cs
This swearing of business = sxpvnavA
isn't .ti--N. Y. Mall
Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1905-06-23

Copyright, 1905. by Joseph 3. Bowles.)
Naples, Italy.-Dear Old Partner in
Crime: Well, sir, We have struck a
place that reminds us OF home, and
your old grocery store. The day we
got here dad and l took a walk into
the poorer districts. where they throw
al the Stops and refuse in the streets.
and where nobody ever seems to clean
up anything and burn it. The odor
was something that you cannot de-
scribe without a demonstration. and
after we had turned pale and started
to go away, dad said the smell remind
ed him of something at home and
finally he remembered your old grocery
in the sauerkraut season, early in the
Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1905-06-23
The Bad Boy Writes from Naples
Dad Sees vesuvius and Calls the
Servants to Put Out the Fife
They Have Trouble with .
"Dago" in Pompeii.

By HON. GEORGE W. PECK.
Ex-Governor of Wisconsin,, Former Pub
Usher Of Peck's Sun, Author. Of
"Peck's Bad Boy" Etc.)
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-10-21
ARRESTED in Denver.
Salt Lake Woolman Said TO be Short
In Lis Accounts.

Denver, oct &c, y Turner an or
ganizer for the Woodnen of the World
Pacific jurisdiction, with headquarters
at Salt Luke, was arrested tonight as
he stepped FROM Rio Gande train
from the west and is now held at the
county Jail for safe keeping, Turner's
last report TO the finance committee
OF the. Woodmen contained certain ex-
penses Tor which there We're no youch-
ors. The committee sent him a draft
for a sum less the amount uuyouched
for. Turner then telegrdphcd the chief
clerk Of the finance committee that un.
less the amount held out was forth
coming by oct / he would come TO
Denver and XIII him. lie later tele-
graphed j. c. Lanshaw chief clerk to
Head Consul Boak, that he intended
10 put bullet i'm him also, and later
wired that he would KIN an the meme
beers Of the finance committee, when he
found that hls threats had caused ha
dismissal When the local officials
learned chat Turner had really lct
Salt Lake for Denver they called upon
Sheriff Nesbit to arrest him which
was done as Turner alighted from the
train tonight Turner Is 6i years Of
age, and the Noodmen officials here
believe his mind has BECOME deranged.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-10-21
ONLY $500
To Mexico City and Return.

Via Oregon Short Line. october 2lst
Return limit 60 days. Diverse routes
allowed up to Denver. Proportlonately
low rates from other points See agents.
city Ticket Office, POI Main st.
Ask your Grocer for Vienna Bakery
Bread ana Cakes, They're the best.
Dr Toudl, dentist rm 1908 Mccormick Blk
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-10-21
SOLDIERS "SALT HOSS.'
Often Leaves Him As Bad As
Wounded.

Ar.nlv fond hYs IrIIno1 tbc dIo.gti,,,
of MAN., .,nt ,,a,, ,..,l,.,,' $500.
Inc ~ nr. ,.igo I,I,.,i,,,, sps1N
hnlnaS tI,,, 100. wv" WI loo'
"isnr d,,.,, Dr. 80, ,,,,, ,,o,,,,.,. 49,.
mn s,, in,,po,so so,,,;t hhhe
Fvsrytbirr ,,,, 49, , u,"Io
rs,,sc w., i, ,rrLi IA a., t.,.,,S ~
tion ,gnt,h ,,a ., ,,,''u ,''iv',,' ls'V,lu-
for h,,st,,1s,, H., ,,,,l.,. Ky .,
he trnubIo ,,.s oW hr,,r,.,,, ~ Nv ''i h,.
tbo uJis', IT," "' W V ,s noIut ny
,,ni,r lu,N a'" "' 'ot lo' ~
,cnd sun,iila ,,,l t' ,' r H-' t",' 1i wv
nv tbrep vc,rl, sSr,,,rs in he 'G crl9i
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-10-21
Doing To Bed Hungry
IS All Wrong, And Man Is The Only
Creature That Does 1t.

1.t...L. complete emptiness Of the stomach
~ ,.t .gp adds greatly to the amount
wt5g..al.. .t.lon, siocplcssness and general
EIglJa change Of Uss,,eg I'm tbe body
5,,'.'.E 1r waking, ana he snpplv OF
W,,'.Amfnt ought 20 be somowhat' com
rgau.ls and food taken lust before retIr.
a, taas more tissue than Is destroyed
sr ., Ngf'ased weight and v.gsr is thG re-.
mtI ''L W. q Cathcll says. "All ant
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-10-21
FELL AMONG THIEVES.
Unwary Stranger Plays Poker With
The Usual Results,

Carr Bartness. stranger 10 Salt
Lake, fell in with three alleged grafters
and bunco men yesterday afternoon. lie
remained with them practically all
evening and got into poker game
When the game ended, It's the same old
story Bartness was shy twenty hard
earned slmoleons
He complained TO the police ana De-
tectiyes Raleigh and Shannon pro-
ceeded to round up the alleged grafters.
They gave their names as Jesse Cuda-
hay, A. l.. Jennings and Harry Clark.
They are booked on the charge OF
gambling.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-10-21

late Maori chief, to be held in the Plo-
neer stake hall Fifth South between
West Temple and First West streets.
Sunday, oct %, at ~ O'clock noon
Take Second West or West Temple
street cars. The remains may be viewed
at the hdll between II and - o'clock.
Enough stone has been cut for the
east tower ON the Catholic cathedral 80
the work there can be carried on for
some time before the masons have set
all the stone that has been prepared.
There Is enough more rock ready for
shipment at the quarries TO complete
The structure, but the contractor is
having trouble in getting cars, and un-
I'll this difficulty Is overcome fun em-
ployment can not be given 10 the cut
ters.
w. j., Gilbert a wen known travel
ms muu from Los Angeles. rs registered
a., the kenyon, He has been selling
bank and hne papers through the cOuu-
try west Of the lU5th meridian and re-
ports busint SIS in all lines as in the
highest degree prosperous. lie finds
the banks everywhere calling for bet
Ter grades C stationery, especially in
the line Of bond papers the qualities
most desirc5 boing strength and dura-
bility.
General Secy McHugh Of the Stone
cutters International union was given
"a warm welcome last evening, i'm Fed
GRAFTON of Labor hall He made a.
pleasing address. I'm which he stated
that the StOnecuters union Is the old
est in existence, having records IN the
Washington Office 1876 years old. lie
said the conditions obtaining every
whore In the trade are good, the men
are well employed at good wages, and
no trouble Of any kind is anticipated,
The Utah Light &, Railway company
win continue experimenting with street
LIGHTING on east South Temple street
until some scheme that may be general
Is approved of can be found, Arc
lamps will be tried on the trolley stand
ards at certain distances to see what
effect they will have IN comparison
with iuCandescents. The company Is
prepared to give all the lighting on that
street the city council win stand for,
up to the extent INDUCED IN by Los
AuuplCg
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-10-21
IS Ess ES9 %
DR.. Humphreys Seventy
Seven breaks up Grip and
CO E.)Ss

II Is well known that Or Humphreys
Seventy Is the only Specific
for La Grippe and Colds
We want those who have used "71"
10 know that Dr. Humphreys system
infancy to old age--it is question
which derives the greatest comfort
from their use, the baby with Cole or
the old and feeble with the almost in
variable weakness OF the Bladder or
Kidneys The Specifics are fully de-
scribed IN a little book TO bee had at all
drug stores or mailed free They are
FOR sale by all Druggists. g5c each with
few exceptions,
Humphreys' Homeo Medicine co.,
corner William and John Streets New
York.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-10-21
LOCAL BRIEFS.

The local carpenters' union will give
an entertainment and card social this
evening lii Federation Of Labor hall
An election is being held among the
,olgs4 of the odd Fellows encampment
Of The jurisdiction OF Utah for grand
officers
Prof George II Brlmhall Of the Brig
lam Young university win deliver
lecture before the sunday School Union
Of Granite stake Monday oct, 30, in the
stake hail.
Justice Of the Peace Williams Of
West Jordan yesterday sentenced j.
W James. William La Ven and James
JEFF % 90 days for yagraucy and the
men are now guests Of Sheriff Emery
In IN, federal court yesterday after
moon Daniel j. Harmon OF Weber
county fled a petition in bankruptcy.
gyng HTS assets at 1855 and his uabili-
lies at il.Sij. His assets are claimed to
De exempt
Tuesday evening next Dr. James T..
I.lmage win lecture before the Engi-
uatrng society Of the University OF
Utah on the subject Of Giants OF
Strength Air and Water" u will be
illustrated by lantern slides. The pub
IIu Us cordially Invited free
Deputy sherlns Claud Y. Russell and
Andrew Smith arrested j. w. Sanders
lost night upon the charge of obtain
i0g money under false pretenses II is
alleged that sanders bought some fur
n!mre ON the INSTRUMENT plan ana
sold it to another party before 1t was
pId for
There was no quorum present at the
Special meeting Of the city council last
evening hence no business was trans
acted ANA an adjournment was taken
until Monday evening, Those who an
Wered To the roll call We're Barnes.
fenstrom, Hartenstein. Preesc, Tud.
G.rham Wells aud Hewlett
The Liberty stake amusement com.
mttee last night ushered In its
series OF weekly PARTIES with a dance
90 the stake hall, Fourth South between
Seventh and Eighth East streets. Thes.
Wl Doe continued throughout the win.
ier and the people Of the stake and
their friends are most cordially invited
Arrangements have been completed
Tor tne organization this evening,
"a Boys club at tho First prpubv-
mau church, where am bOys moi con.
pcicd with similar orraniz9tlons disc
where are invited .udge willis
Brown. Rev. DIR. Padcn. s,lpt. mos
Weir and other wei known citi2pps win
speak. and "A epsrtal musical nrogrom
hs been provided.
,,
JilG commission for the Portland fair
exhibition Tia says tho state WAS band.
muaIy treated. ana Inc fact mat I-fab
won more medals than any other sia,o
ka Ust cause for congrgtllatlon. rrt3h
nadr better showing even I'm cdura.
doa lhan Massachusetts The Ttab
EXHIBITS were universally admired
.r. ,,.,
., 'uo ue iAngue Francaise met
n, ,1e nome or Mr. Spencer Squires on
lIio'y evening. The following pro-
jscouos Irad. '' her tI ,,no o'tVr'' AZ
Iiery. r''t,r6 Ne Stsvor ' ,h, ",t''S'5,'
Wu,e 81. Uoli, Kick f'f,,o ,''',, ,'',
Nh soniros. NJ, sUtt,'i,, 49, ,tl,o'
nelly After tho flB44 l4f
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-10-21

G, 3, Martin COnI Go,
Rock Springs Cumberland. Castle Gate
and Clear Creek lump, nut and slack.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-10-21
CLASS IN MIDWIFERY.

DR.. Romania y. Peurose will com.
mence her class I'm Obstetrics and nurs-
ing oct 1G and until Nov, I. For terms
and particulars address 1875 SO. Ninth
East s. L. G.,
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-10-21

provemonts are highly appreciated, and
a great many more VIII be put In before
the end Of the season,
The Washington times., 1905-12-24

Breakfast-Grapes. cracked wheat.
poached eggs on toast, coffee
Dinner-Roast beef, brown gravy,
plain boiled potatoes, mashed turnips,
plain baked beans. lemon pie
Lunch or supper-COid roast beef, cold
baked beans, lemon jelly cake and pear
sauce
The Washington times., 1905-12-24

II. IN the course OF righteous work.
YOU happen upon some forgotten article
that would be Of real service TO the poor
widow you visited at Christmas con-
slider that YOU have found a bit of her
property and restore il to the owner.
] promised not to preach; but you will
not take it amiss II I counsel you to
carry the New Year cleaning up and
clearing out work into a higher sphere
than that Of pantry and bookshelf? Get
rid Of Old ETudges and family feuds. Of
unholy enmities. mean jealousies-all
You would not have cling to your soul
We're YOU sure this year would be your
last on earth. Rub out and begin
asain," Don't resolve to do it. but do
The Washington times., 1905-12-24

Everything should be in order upon
Our SaviOr's birthday"
confess TO the same feeling with
regard TO the New Year that the thrifty
housemother has as to the ''shiftless-
ness OF carrying the weeks wash over
INTO the next Monday, and leaving Sat
urday mending incomplete when work
basket and thimble are laid aside for the
rest OF Sunday. There may be tinge
OF superstition in my aversion TO the
thought OF seeing the sunshine on New
Year Day through dingy windows. The
impulse TO clear decks for action during
the last week OF the old year is natural
a:'d cnmmendable AS the warm-heart-
ed. hot-headed heroine Of hitherto
longed, In her unhappy childhood. TO
rub out and begin all over again." we
would. II possible forget the mistakes.
and rid ourselves Of the drawbacks Of
the past year. and press forward TO
cleaner-therefore, better-things.
Begin with your booksheIves. Unless
you are given TO periodical weddings Of
your library you have no right concep-
tion OF the quantity OF trash" you
have accumulated in a twelve-month.
Books that are not worth a second and
even a third reading are not worth
keeping. II you can get ria Of them
ir no other way, sell them by the pound
10 junk dealer or old clothes man II
YOU do not mean 20 have your magazines
bound. sort and ship them 10 "A hospital
or soldiers and sailors home-or failing
these, send 20 me Enclosing stamp al
WaysD for the address OF some one Of
the many who hunger FOR reading mat
ter they have not the money 10 buy.
Sufficient unto the year is the rubbish
thereof. And whatever may be the title
OF a book which nobody reads. and
which nobody ever VIII read, that book
is rubbish. be it bound In calf or il
paper.
Next. attack closets and drawers. and
rid your house and soul OF what YOU
have kept FOR months-maybe for years
because they were not lit to give to
anybody. were Of no earthly use to
yourself. and yet were adiudged by
some abstruse law OF economics To be
TOO good to be thrown away Were
your thrifty soul 10 depart from the
workaday world tomorrow. the entire
collection Of cracked and broken china.
out-of-date collars and cuffs. scraps OF
unInatcnabie stuffs. remnants OF for
The Washington times., 1905-12-24
Little Talks With Discontinued People---No. |

Did you ever feel down and out?''
Well. that's the way / was one day
about six months ago. So / decided Ia
, take a trip 10 the country and sec INV
good friend. Farmer Jones-iust vvby
every one called him that don't know
except he lived in the country. for ~
ever there was Il philosopher and zen
tleman, Jones was one.
We'll, old man" said !. its the end
/ Of the earth for me. L am sick Of il
all-tired Of everything"
What about that smart pretty v,on,a,
you married-going 20 take her aIonp2,
asked Jones.
told him / thought she was happlest
away from me
Wen, perhaps / can't change YOU.
john he said
But J figured out that tired foeIina
Tor myself years ago. and 1 NAV saw
10 my satisfaction. you've got about the
same complaint ] had. / married 2,
pretty woman and q smart woman aud
soon grew used 10 her charms. Now
that was all right If had STONED tl,c,n
nut grew tired. Somehow. we didn't
try 10 amuse each other. and our fa,1It.,
were taken I'm 'to-be-cudured- ,,..,, Ga
stead Of a to-be-cured desire fen ,
could not live with my wife-but .,ls-
knew i could not live without her ,
mad walked roughshod over all her Iov-
"rs, won her. gloated over nv prjze la..
some beast over IT'S prey.
Ihen / got used to it and grew i'm
different You see. I was "a dog in tbe
hanger. My craving had been satisfied
/ IN possession
us ON the same principle we take
most oi th@ things In life; gratitude ana
appreciation are out OF date 4 man
WINS f"me' II" has worked for IL. spear
SlFepiess nights I'M building air castles
up %" 'nt mountain OF glory tc which
ne Ie+iS HihlseH climbing. But when thu.
morning OF success davus vyb.t 49,. t,.-
do2 Give thanks2 No. He euyies tb.
man who Is just starting. lie begrudges
The other the JOY of working. He mas
The Washington times., 1905-12-24
Memory and Tears.

Az TO the patent and pious resolutions
enjoined as a conventional ordinance by
ancient and goody-goody appointment
the most serious-minded OF rs dismissed
the habit OF formulating them when age
and experience had showed us the
smptiness and ineficiency Of spasn.odic
righteousness
The dawning year, az true poet of
the last century sang
rs time for memory and for tears %
Each heart knows for itself the bitter
ness and the sweetness Of memories
that crowd upon it at this season. and 10
each his own griefs are sacred. / have
no sermon today for my deariy-beIoyed
and loyal constituency-only a word OF
cordial good cheer. a hearty god
speed" and then a brief practical con-
ference with my fellow housewives.
A pleasing custom prevails in some
families OF having the house swept.
scrubbed and garnished before the COM
ing of the blessed Christmas Day.
As. one youngling phrased IL: 1T
would be a shame for Santa Claus 10
come to a dirty house,
Another put IL more aptly:
The Washington times., 1905-12-24
A FOREWORD OF NEW YEAR
THE REAL RESOLUTION

TT EVERY reader OF this page were
called upon for a candid ex-
u preston OF opinion as TO the OBJ
servance Of New Year Day those
who have never given the matter
much thought would be surprised to
learn how many are disposed to regard
the anniversary as a bore. and the fes-
tivities connected with it as mistake.
Christmas frolics have left US jaded
and blunted our appetities for pleasure.
Christmas giving has depleted our
purses. We have no money left for
New Year presents, and IL We had. the
impression is 50 general that these are
the 'arriere pensee" Of conscience
stricken donors. recalled by the receipt
of Christmas gifts 10 the fact that sun
dry OF their dear 700 friends were over
looked by themselves at Yuletlde-that
there is scanty grace in giving