The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1905-05-16

Will itdsc washington OUT ana say.
Mr.. Speaker and Gentlemen: / stand
here tonight -
"Mr. President, you mean.r
"Mr. President. then, and Ia like 10
knock his blamed head of. Z stand
here tonight as one OF the warmest adj
mirers of that noble and heroic son of
liberty, William Penn, and I pro
pose
Good lands, MI. Bowser. but what
are you saying? Don't you know who
William Penn vasy
"Of course I know"
But he wasn't a noble and heroic
ron OF liberty. He was a Quaker and q
cood man, and he didn't pose as noble
and heroic"
by John, woman, but this is going
too far-too far" shouted Mr.. Bowser
as he danced around. zone would think
from what you say that I didn't know
q snow shovel from a piano. 1 was q
fool to expect any help from you"
You'd have been a bigger one 70
class William Penn as noble and hero
ic. He was known mor for his trea-
ties with the Indians than anything
else. OF course the state of Pennsylva-
mia was named after him. II you want
to wiring in some Of the signers of the
Declaration Of Independence why not
speak of John Hancock"
81 might as well speak of Tom Col
Inns. John Hancock never signed it.
The only thing he ever did that I've
heard Of was to send up a kite and
draw lightning from the clouds"
"But that was Benjamin Franklin"
"Never! Never!"
"Of course it was. You'll find it in
half a dozen books in the house. Please
don't get mad at me, Mr.. Bowser; but,
you see, you have had so much bust
ness to attend to that these little things
have slipped your mind. Why refer to
the constitution at all?"
Mr.. Bowser glared at her and clinch-
ed his fingers, but after awhile he man
aged to ask:
'Then what would you speak of"
"Well if you feel the need Of it, go
back to the beginning-to the landing
of the pilgrims. They came here to Sc
cure religious liberty, and it was their
descendants who at last threw off the
yoke Of tyranny. Don't make any mis-
take about where they landed, how
ever"
What! Do you intend that for an
INSULT"
Certainly not, but about two years
ago when you were down fora speech
before some club you had them land at
Yorktown"
Never! Woman. we will have a set
Element later on. If there is Il child FIVE
years old in tits country. who doesn't
know that the pilgrim fathers landed
at Cape Cod, then he ought to be sound
ly spanked"
Mrs. Bowser groaned in despair.
well, what now?" he demanded.
1.-THE pilgrims didn't land there. It
was on Plymouth rock"
THAT'S an Internal canard! I've
stood on the very wharf where they
landed"
"But there was no wharf"
Mr.. Bowser grabbed a chair BY the
back and began to see red, and the eff
fort he made to control himself left his
face as pale as the dead. His chm was
still g ivering when he quietly said:
Mrs. Bowser, you can il nit mR no,
further"
"But I have Gully set you right, Mr..
Bowser. You have things all mixed up,
and
"Stop right therel Not another word
until I return with proofs to crush you.
into the dust. You need not sit up for
me-"
He went down the hall and put on,
his hat and overcoat and left the house,
and five minutes later he was asking
his family druggist:
"Did George Washington or William
Penn sign the Declaration of %Independ-
ence first?"
The druggist looked at him in a pity
ing way for a minute and then shook
his head and answered.:
"Give it up, Bowser; give it up"
"Give up what?"
"Disputing with: your wife. She
knows more in a minute than you do
in all day."
"Sir, I would like to punch your
head."
Eyes, 4 know, but don't get into
scraps with Mrs. Bowser and come here
to try to prove her in the wrong. You'll
get left every time"
Mr.. Bowser walked out boiling over
with indignation. Providence had a vic
tim at hand. An old tramp asked him
for 10 cents to get a bed with, and the
next instant there was a wild war
whoop, and he was flying down the
street for his life, and "Mr. President
after him. They took the middle of the
street, and a policeman who saw them
pass rubbed his frost bitten ear and
unused to himself:
well. old Bowser has broke loose
again and is after gore. I must run
him In next time he comes my way"
NJ. QUAD.