davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
ITCHING SCALP HuMoR.
Lady Suffered Tortures Until curse
By Cutieurs-Scratched Day
and Night,

My scalp was CT sered with little
plmples and I suffered tortures from
the itching. was scratching all day
and night. and I could get no rest.
washed my head with hot water and
Cuticura Soap and then applied the
Cuticura Ointment as a dressing one
box OF the Ointment and one cake OF
Cuticu-s Soap cured me Nov my
head is entirely clear and my hair Is
growing splendidly. ! have used Gu
ticura Soap ever since. and shall new
er be without It. (Signed) Ada C.
Smith. 800 Grand St. Jersey City.
n. J."
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
PARROT KNOWS THE SERVICES
Pet OF English Clergyman Has Re-
msrtabIe sssaeity.

The rector of Hampshire CEng.)
parish possesses a most wonderful
parrot. Though the rector lives two
miles from the church. the bird In
variAbly accompanies him to the sa-
cred building While the service is
proceeding the bird recognizes his
masters voice. and when he reads q
lesson or breaches one can hear the
bird outside chattering away. The
parrot also Joins in the "Amens" and
IS evidently quite conyersant with
all church service routine. The serv-
ice over. the parrot screams with de-
light. circles about its masters head.
perches on his shoulder. and finally
accompanies him home. The attach
ment of the master to the bird is only
ecualed by the parrots evident pride
In and affection for its master.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
Enesi.h nasssr Vehicles.

Ast0 vehicles for carrying Or Asai
iAg hssvy loads are nov SO much used
In England that their opssation II
closely guarded by government super
vision United States Consul Aahin
1t nottingham has made repor- on
the subject Hitherto" says he. the
legal weight limit OF an empty motor
car has been three tons Nov II Is
raised to ave. With an increase in the
legal Joint weight tunlAcenl OF . mo-
tor car and trailer from four to six
tons. Heretofore there has been NO
legal weight limit 10 the Dad on 3
motor car. but the nsv regulations aim
to prevent excessive loading The to
tai weight OF car and load Is limited
to twelve tons. The weight borne on
any axle shall not exceed eight tons"
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
PROFITS Gone AoaIa.

J. Barclay Eison. the tramp printer.
who has been working for US. has
yamo-ec- He left a note stating that
he had collected and receipted for
three subscriptions and that he had
left the money at Moneys saloon.
When We went to get IL Mr. Moxley
stated that the rascal had left It there
all right. but that he had received full
value in refreshments for II And
there you are.-Lewiston lAla-) AVA
lanche-
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
Before and after TasIno.

In small town in New York two
families live. one bearing the name OF
Steele and the other of Stole. They
are friends, and frequently appear at
the same gatherings.
Not long ago an evening house af-
fair was given at which a stranger
from Illinois was present when the
usual introductions were to be made.
Mr.. Steel and Mr.. Stole chanced to be
sitting side by side.
May | present Mr.. Steele said the
hostess. And Mr.. Stole?" she added
sweetly.
The stranger waited for Q seconi,
and then said Jsmilingly: "Oh. yes, .
understand-before and after taking
The Sunday Magazine.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
s~insieS the Car.

Early in his reign . Russian ezar
caught . bad head cold. and asked .
humble subject hov this annoying all
meat could be cured The advice Civ
er was that the imperial nose should
be asoinfed At night with tallow from
. common candle Years rolled on.
and ore day. BY . mere accident. the
car hsd the chance of looking
tnroagA . boDk of household erpendi-
tvres, and vas amazed to nnA he ~
been charged for . possd a tnIsou
ennlles every night since-
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
Eer..nes spent in shee,.

Fortunes have been lavished upon
shoes Men as widely apart In every
circumstance Of life as Sir Walter
Raleigh and Caligula had their shoes
enriched with precious stones to the
value of thousands of dollars. When
the tomb of Henry vi Of Sicily. who
died in list. was opened in the cathe-
dral OF Palermo. shoes made OF cloth
of gold and embroidered with pearls
we're found on the dead monarcb's
feet. and also on those OF his queen.
In the time of Louis XIV of France
the courtiers of Versailles were re-
narkabie for their boots. the tops of
which were enormously large and
vide. and were decorated with . pro
fusion OF costly lace.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
PAINFUL SCIA1ICl
EVERY YsuTfERERVAHs TIE WY
QUICKEST CURE
Mis-. vith such k~.AarkahLs Sseesn
the h<ss-Cured by Five BslsA

ur. Dooessa IAi.ks tbs 1saeAy cssA -
Ain vith such k~-aark.sls ssse.o
the H<si-Cured by Five nsneA
men who have to do diMculs anl
dangerous work on electric hnes at any
hour Of dzy or night, can Z afford To have
anything the matter with their health, Z"
said Mr. Donovan You can imagine.
therefore. how much I was alarmed one
winters day Ia 1901. when was seized
by q pain Just behind my right hip thas
made il difficult for me TO walk home.
II was 50 bad by the time reached the
house that WAS obliged 70 ~ straighs
% bed"
Did that relieve you,'
"No, the pain grew more severe and
kept extending downward along my leg.
] sent for a physician. and hs soon de-
cided that had sciatiea- In a few days
the whole nerve was affected, and the
least movement brought Oh terrible
agony"
Did your condition improve under
the doctors treatment"
"Quite the contrary. At tbs end Of
two months WASH Z bit better. and as
times ] feared that / would never b
able TO leave my bed +"
How did you get out agsin!
"When l was lying In bed. unable to
move and wasting away in fissh, n friend
visited me and told me about the won-
derful cures brought about by great
blood and nerve remedy. DIR. Williams
Pink Pills He strongly urged mo to try
them. and luckily hs-d sense enough 70
take his advice"
Did you mend quicklyf"
I. "Yes. that was the astonishing thing.
! noticed slight Improvement before !
had quite finished the first box Of the
pills. could get out Of bed while was
on the third box. and l was entirely
cured by the time had taken five boxes"
Mr.. Joseph A. Donovan is living at
Plaistow. New Hampshire. and II line
inspector for the Haverhill. Newton and
Plaistow Electric Street Railway. DR..
Williams Pink Pills are the remedy to
use when the blood is thin. asin an2mia:
or impure, as in rheumatisn; or when
the nerves are weak. as in neuralgia. or
hfeless. as in partial paralysis; OF when
the body as n whole is ill-nouEished. ~
In general debility. They are sold BY
Al druggists
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
p.yssn rveher's Quick aee,y.

The late Payson Tucker. while man
ager OF the Maine Central railroad.
built a beautiful residence 1T North
Conway. n H. A lady from Bethle-
hem. n. H. once said to him: Il do
not understand Why you built In
North Conway when Bethlehem 10 20
near"
Mr.. fuckers quick reply was: Il
do not understand Why our Savior vas
bora in Bethlehem when North Con.
vay was 20 near"
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
Wers Good for Both.

Pauiding. Miss. May l5th.-tsre
eiaD-ln this neighborhood men and
women alike are telling Of the great
benefit they have received from the
use of Dodd's Kidney Pills and IL fire.
quently happens they are the means
OF curing members of both sexes In
the same family. Take the case OF
Mr.. and Mrs. y. Erby. The latter
voices the sentiment OF both when
she says:
My lips cannot express too much
praise for Dodd's Kidney pills. l suf-
fered with Backache and Female
weakness for four or hve years and I
feel that l have been wonderfully
helped by Dodd's Kidney Pills. My
husband. too. Was a sufferer for fve
years from a weak bladder and they
also cured him"
Dodd's Kidney Pills make healthy
Kidneys Healthy kidneys mean pure
blood and good health all over the
body. No woman with healthy kid
aeys ever had female weakness
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
TWO SECRETS WELL KEPT.
Trieks Of Traos Guarded By Chimes
and &IriAaa.


and Syriaas-
There are two trade secrets" said
an artist. that the outside world, IL
seems. Will never learn One is a
Chinese secret-the making of bright
and beautiful color called yermiliior,
or Chinese red The other is q Turk
ish secret-the iniaying of the hardest
steel with gold and silver.
Among the Chinese and among the
Syrians these Two secrets are guard
ed well Apprentices, before they are
taken for either trade. must swear =
strong oath to reveal nothing of what
passes in the workshop These ap-
prentiees. furthermore. must belong TO
families OF standing. must pay a large
sum by way of premium and must
furnish certificates OF good character
and honesty
You have seen damascened steel
q course. and you have seen vermil
lion. or Chinese red Remember the
NEXT time you look at these two
things that their secrets have been
guarded inviolably. have been handed
down faithfully from one generation
TO another for thousands of years"
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
A French Custom

In France a newly married couple
do not have the ordinary bridal calls
made upon them Instead. gsrbed in
their best. the bride and groom pay
visits 10 all their married friends In
agine a shy woman's embarrassment
when she must call upon total strang-
srs-especially If she marries away
from her own neighborhood. or her
husband has country house in DIFF.
ferept quarter.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
To HUI, in Are,ie ReaIen..

A select expedition Of ten English
sportsmen IL to sail for the Arctic re-
gions in July 10 shoot Polar bears.
walruses and any other big game tnar
may come within range Each mem
Der Of the party is TO pay sl.e75 to
cover the expenses of the trip The
steam yacht Bore. a first-class pas
senger vessel Of 73T tons. has been
specially chartered for the trip.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
Peculiar Effect. Of Light.

Prof. Redard OF Geneva. who ap
piled music as tranquillizing influence
on persons under ansesthetics. says 4
blue light falling on the eyes. even
when closed. affects the nerve eeniers
and produces sleep. either by hyp-
notie or anaes,hetie action Violet
and green. but not red and yellow
rays have a similar. but weaker ef-
feet.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
The homeless Of London.

A census OF the homeless Of London.
made on a recent night, revealed =
total OF 2.4sl in the streets. on stair
cases and under arches. OF these.
2.Is9 were men and 3i2 women In
the common lodging houses and shell
tiers that night there were $3.50 per
sons of whom 2l .254 were single meR.
1858 single women. 351 married cou-
plies and thirty-four children under ten
years Of age.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
No water. mo,or,a Use. miis.

A motorist was stranded. his water
having given out. some miles from a
habitation or pump. A milk cart came
along. The inventive motorist bought
n supply at famine prices. filled up
his water tank. drove merrily home.
and has a good story TO tell In the bar
gain
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
Subject for a Debating Society.

II Was in Queen street near the city
hall. buNom girl. fierce gust os
wind. The girl wore a picture ha,
and polka do, hosiery. The fierce
gust OF wind toyed with the picture
hat and her skirts. The question is.
What should the poor girl have done7
Protect her hat or her hosiery She
grabbed for her hat.-Toronto World
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
Time Ilmf, on Orators.

4 man who has anything interesting
and edifyiug TO say ought to be able
TO deliver his message to the public
in twenty minutes There are few
orators who are worth listening to for
more than oue-third OF an hour. Tn
fortunately. there are many public
speakers who think otherwise.-Balti.
more sun.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
.,r.h 1r..,m.n, for cnIId.

This piece of news appears in a pa
rer published in Port Louis. Mauri-
thus. For having stolen cents
worth of charcoal a child aged l5
Years has been sentenced by the dis
trict magistrate of Flaca To undergo
nine months Imprisonment
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
Novel Written In Verse.

A London publisher received the
manuscript of a novel written. from
beginning to end. in verse Curious.
he read Il and found IL not at all a
bady story. so good. indeed. that he
l. willing TO print Il II the author will
translate IL into English prose.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
Record Of Voices.

The British museum. London. has
decided to collect and keep siamo
phone records of the voices OF the
most eminent singers End pnblicists
They will be for the Cse of post@rity.
The master records" Will be OF nickel
and practically indestructible. From
these playing records can be stamped
At will.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
RslsIno Foxes for Peits-

Seaiskins to the number OF 3.i2s
were shipped from Alaska last season.
An industry pursued Incidentally with
that Of sealing on the Pribilof Islands
Is that of raising the blue fox for his
pelt. These animals. under the system
In use. are fed and cared for as II do
mesticated.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
Novel os log Volumes.

The longest novel which has ever
been published Is the story Of the
Eight Dogs" Il IL Ssits.n In Japan
ese and is published in log volumes
The novel contains several hundred
characters tnot counting the dogs)
and they are all dead by the time the
last chapter Is reached.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
No.hi,o New for MIN.

"whasar thish talk bout movln'
sidewalks n N-York-" inquired
Lushy Larry as he held up corner OF
the county building. Thas nothin'
new. I've been travelin' on movia'
shidewalks fr twenty years"
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
e,.nerm.n Poorly Paid.

Considering his hardships. his prt
vations. and his dangers. the fisher
man who takes tribute Of the seas in
high latitudes is poorer paid for his
iabors than is the man in any other
Ealing in the world
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

Senator Proctor complains Of maple
sirup that IL doesn't taste as u did
when he vas a boy. And perhaps the
senator might find that even green ap-
pies haven't that delicious favor they
used to have.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

An Arizona farmer says wheat
stalks are sure to be six feet long
out there this year. This Is the first
Indication that Kansas is beginning
10 lose her best people by emigra-
ton.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

Astronomers report that the winter
on Mars has been apparently a mild
one. so that II there has been a coal
strike there probably there hasn't
been much suffering.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

3. is said that the emperor OF Ger
many is fond of collecting neckties
and scarfs Of all ages and of all coun-
tries. and has already a collection Of
more than $4,000. But a great many
things are said.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

Nine. Modjsska says she has indIg.
nantly refused an offer OF si.75O a
week to go on the vaudeville stage
Heity Green vii, regard that as sheer
madness.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

Nancy Carnegie has furnished an
answer to the question the advent of
the automobile has caused us % wor.
ry about. namely. what shall We do
with our ex-coachmen7
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

The seventeenyear locusts. AZ We
learn from the esteemed Richmond
Time-Dispatch. are due again this
spring They will have to come early
n they expect 70 hold their own with
the everyyear insect pests.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

The men who won't respect gray hairs
oh. how We do despise 'em'
He most of all. who won't respect
His own gray hairs. but dyes EN-.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

Or. Seymour Of Chicago says that
people who use no soap are healthier
than those who do. But how In the
world did the doctor get so many non
:.sers TO confess their crime?
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

oregon and Washington are dlsput-
ing over their boundary line. Other
wise. with a few trifilng exceptions.
the country is at peace.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

Wall street prices continue to indi-
cate that the professionals have good
reasons for believing that the public
has been emptying its stockings.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
Private cSe eln0A

The railroads seem very willing -
have the private car lines brought
under the Jurisdiction of the Inter.
state Commerce Commission. A rail-
road president is authority for the
statement that lines are paid mileage
without discrimination. and the Ques
tioa OF excessive charges is . matter
for the shipper to settle with the car
lines. 20 long as there Is no law 70
govern their rates Car mileage pay.
ing has been decided to be as legal -
the payment OF rental for property.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

The chances are that Prof Sud
cards harmless Fourth OF July powder
Will prove chaTullsss TO the Amerisan
boy.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

A woman al san Jose. Cal. went
crazy after visiting a elairvoyant Or
iinariiy people 20 crazy before they
visit clairyoyants.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

women are far less graceful than
Rea.- said Dr. Arnold Of New Have.
% - asa5eaes u Colunbia studenfs
But II nakes . diRere.ee. doesn't n.
assses, @Uhsthss - UOosa are n .
arsvsne Sson - ere rsnaias TO over.
enho . e.?
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

The sultan Of Turkey Is perplexed
a. the conduct Of his rebellious Arabs.
They began hostllities without send
iay out any ultimatum-
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

a woman was fined at Milford.
county Donegal. Ireland. recently for
having eleven pigs In the house. And
II was her house and they were her
pigs.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
When You, Grocer Say,

he does not have Defiance Starch. you
may be sure he Is afraid TO keep IL un-
til his stock OF L. or packages are
sold. Defiance Starch Is not only bet
ter than any other Cold Water Starch,
hut contains 1S OF. to the package and
sells for same money as IL o. brands.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

Wonderful Is the spir.t OF reform A
Sew York policeman has resigned his
place on the force in order TO main
tain his selfrespect"
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

RI the horticulturists at the Univer-
eity Of Pennsylvania succeed in cult
waiting the insectivorous -rosera
dicholomo's appetite for mosquitoes.
there's no doubt what will be the
popular piazza plant this season.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

Two French generals have arranged
Go fight duel. but as yet the price
OF court plaster in Paris hasn't been
advanced
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

As 10000 mules will be used in the
Panama canal work Missouri may feel
that il is going to be adequately reeog
ulzed
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
THE TRIBUNE.

These are the days In which =
wise man will keep his eagle eye on
mis- umbrella
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

The Bostor Globe wants to know
what is woman's ideal pet-- II
used TO be the little stranger in the
cradle. but. OF course. ve have prog
ressed considerably since those old
fashtoned days.-Cleveland Plain
Dealer
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

There should be no surprise over
the character OF the news coming
from Borneo. Some OF the Wild men
are acting as war correspondents.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

II Is pleasant to remember also that
Mr. Joseph Jefferson got some praise
before II Sas too late 10 DO him any
good.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

The New York scientist who claims
he can restore cats 10 life ought to BE-
urged TO adopt the motto Let well
enough alone"
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

The whole art Of winning baseball
games is still summed up in that brief
sentence Of advice to batzmeH. Just
put EN- where they amt"
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

taS&So0S
says: ~DoaA'o
Kidney PillA
proved . ven
eMcient rome
dy in my casa
I used them -
disorcered h6
neys and back
a c b e. fro u
which I had az
perienced .
great deal oe
tro U lie ana
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

The originator Of the rural free mail
delivery system died in Connecticut
the other day. and the newspapers
have not found out lis name. What
is fame, anyhow?
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
Eashi0a.

A woman would be in despair IL na-
ture had formed her as fashion makes
her appear.-Mlle- de Lespinasse-
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
IL In =x>r Eb.s.xe

The secret of success seek
A. our journey forth ro-
And some men know but will no: ten
Whi.e others tel. but do NOT know
View York Su-
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

Teacher-johnnie. can YOU give us
sentence including the words, bitter
end? Johnnie-Our eat ran under the
porch and the dog bit 'er end.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

Father-You must consider every
penny College Boy will. here are
twelve letters asking for money. you
can take them now and save the post
age.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

sDv. David Keenedy's Ysvovtte Re0eAY
Gsss1atsr AIb<rt hsrrstt. fsrk Psss. y T. o. hs<ss
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
Whea vsv Tsih.

Eloquence Is saying the proper
thing and stopping-La Rochefau-
czzId
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

Many a fellow sidesteps a banana
skin only to be tripped up on lie
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

Miss Flirty-Your husband tried 70
kiss me last night. Mrs Dash-Ahi
Well. he's not particular when he's
beea drinking.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
TEA

There's plenty of money
to smooth the little difficult
ties that happen; they do
happen.
Your grocer returns yosr mo.>y If 700 ao.S
nks ~ hlllnss
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

Yise's Cure cannot Be too hishly spoken OF -
. cough eure--J. W O-BnxnS - Tnrd Ave-
y. NiAa<.polis. Ninr-. Jan Q. I90
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

Only . soft man finds any pleasure is
opreaefng himself
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

very irregular. dark coiored and fuii
Of sediment The Pills cleared II AL
Up and / have not had an ache In my
back since taking the last dose Ny
health generally Is improved q great
Zeal"
FOSTER -MIIBURN CO, Buffalo. u.
Y For sale by all dealers. price 80
cents per box
The amputated leg OF Denver man
has started to grow again. and the Den
yer Post man asks. What do you think
OF that Frankly. we think its = lie
-wAshlngton Post
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

ApA WHu10~W-0 asseAosg syvup.
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

fAings . msn can't % without ere
thSrn0 In HE path
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
W.cv ch;,dv,c A., s,ek,v.


Mother Gray Sweet Powders for Chiltrea.
ssed BY Mother Gray. a nurse in Children's
Home. New York. Cure Feverishness. Head
schs. Stomach Troubles. -eeihins Dis
orders. Brezh up Colds and Destroy WornA
Atall Druggists .2sc- Sample mailed FREE.
Addre.s Allea S. Olmsted, IL Roy, n. Y,
Bless his little heart,- exclaimed
the fond mother. as the squalling baby
rolled on the floor: Molly, run ou. an
Kill . rattlesnake an git . rattle fos
him"
Lewis Single Binder straight Sc cigar.
The highest price SC cigar to the dealer
and the hixhss; quality for the smokes.
Lswis' Factory. Peoria, III
self-Iovs 10 the root of most peopiss
discontent
Yisers Cure cannot Be too highly spoken OF -
. cough eur~--J. ". o-BnznS. - Tnira Ave-
y. HiAneapoiis- Ninr-. Jan 9. I9@
oniy . .cft man fnds any pleasure In
eprsading himself
ApA WnuloDw-U asseAas9 syvup.
~ eendrea sershf.s- ssesr.s the sar.s. reasso -
1..s.A.aa aangs - esrss v..< e.sss- x-sssa0
sAsrns IN HE path
TEA
1sn'titqueer that Solomoa
didn't know tea!
= srss ssseA es.assr nssss - savss,
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

self-Iove is the root of mo,s peoples
discontent
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

Lewis Single Binder straight Sc cigar.
The highest price sc cigar TO the deales
and the hixhss; quality for the smokes.
Lswis' Factory. Peoria, Ill
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
QUICK aesuIra

". J. Hill. Of O..
~ card n. G. J.stisa z
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27
TEA

1sn'titqueer that Solomoa
didn't know tea!
La Junta tribune., 1905-05-27

= 4 free IuoeA esuatsr nssae - a1vsP.