Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1905-04-08
jerks CAMERA.

1
| Last Sunday evening, in response to
his sisters invitation to tea, he APP
peared at the door and smilingly an
nounced:
1--WE brought my camera to take a
family group
| The announcement was received
without enthusiasm.
But, Charlie" expostulated his sis
tier, you won't have time. The
Smiths are coming to spend the even
ing, and you know it takes you hours
to arrange group"
Nonsense! Nonsensel" sputtered
jerks. why"
And the last time you took our
pictures there was only legs, uncle
Charlie!" shrilled his small namesake.
THAT was because the camera was
too low" explained jerks. 1--WE got
zen the thing down to perfection, now.
1t won't take five minutes"
But when tea was over, it took con-
siderably more than FIVE minutes to Sc
lect a suitable background for the
picture. Then stools and chairs of vary
ing height must be placed so that the
tall members of the family should not
eclipse the short ones. At last, after
half an hour had been spent in this
way, and the family had all been cor
raled into focus, as jerks supposed, he
looked into the finder TO discover that
only one-half of his sister appeared In
the group. He waved her over to the
left
Lucky you discovered that" said
his brother-in-law, loosely; "a family
group wouldn't be complete without
my better quarter!"
His sister moved over.
Nov, SUSIE said jerks to his
small niece, light this match so Iscan
see If you're in the picture. No, l.
thought not. Get in front of your ia
Their. Now you cut off his head. Drop
ON your knees. Now l can only see
your pompadour. No, that won't do.
You'll have to- get a higher stool"
Another stool having been procured,
after a prolonged search, the same
thing was repeated at the other end
of the group, with small Charlie and
his mother as dramatis personae.
Finally, after a box of matches had
been consumed and a large assort
ment of stools and chairs had been
submitted for jerks consideration, all
four members of the family were ar
ranged to his satisfaction.
There! That ought to be good
picture" he said, in a tone OF self
congratulation. Now. don't jump
when / set off the flashlight. o, wait a
minute. lou haven't left any room
for me-"
60, are you going to- be in it?" ex-
claimed his sister in despair at this
new complication.
why, OF course" said jerks, re-
proachfully Whats family gvoup
good for without all the family?" 4
So his sister had to be lowered, his
brother-in-law elevated, and Susie and
Charlie must seek other stools, in or
der to make room for jerks.
The Smiths may come at any mo-
ment now" his sister warned him
IL don't care." exclaimed jerks,
testify. I'm not going to have this
picture spoiled, Smiths or no Smiths.
Now I'll touch off the flash and then
run to my place before it goes Off I'll
have to be pretty quick, but l guess
| can make it-now!"
A fizz, an explosion and a flash
which discovered the family group,
eyes shut, mouths open, wearing the
Mortified expression of a Russian mob
about to be fired on by Cossacks.
"All over" announced jerks, rising
from his allotted corner and going
over to examine the camera 90,
wait a minute! Stay just as you are
Well have to do it all over again.
forgot to open the shutter Don't
move-now!"
The fzz, explosion and flash were
repeated.
THAT one was all right" said jerks,
but I'll just take another to make
sure while you're all in position"
81 wish you'd hurry, Uncle Charlie, /"
said the children, sneezing and cough
ing amid the strangling fumes of the
fiashlight powder. Were almost
CuOhtu.
well, wen open the windows for a
minute" said jerks
When the group had assembled for
the third time the sound of fire en-
gines was heard in the distance and
small Charlie ran to the window ex-
citedly.
Somebody's sent in an alarm!" he
cried. "Gee-whiz, l hope they have.
Won't it be fun to have the engines
at our housed"
They all hung out of the windows
in suspense while the engines rushed
down the street, and jerks sister
breathed sigh of relief when they
passed on to the next block.
Now, then" jerks began his for
mula once more.
mo, Charlie" said his sister, de-
cidedly as the front door bell rang.
There are the Smiths now, and the
rooms are as cold as barn, with the
windows all open, and smoke is so
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