Bonners Ferry herald. [volume] (Bonners Ferry, Idaho) 1904-current, 1905-05-06
~~~~~~O~O~

marriage a man is known by the COM
pany he keeps. Husband-And after1
Wife-By this clothes his wife wears
Town Topics.
Goodman-Do you ever think Of the
good old saying that it's more blessed
to give than to receiver Pugsley--
Yes, when I've got the boxing gloves
ON l do.-Vogue.
Coming around Mrs. Cafrrey-
And how is that pretty young widowi
Is she reconciled to her loss yet? Mrs
Malaprop-No. she amt exactly rec
onciled yet, but they do say she's got
the man picked out.-Tit-B
An alternative: Mahoole-Nixt
tonne OF pass wild loldy, Mulngan,
we've got to remove your haiti Null
hgaR-And suppose OF refuse? Ma
hoole-Then, bedad. we've got to re-
move your coat--Chicago News.
Juvenile reasoning: sammy-Goine
to move soon, Tommy? Tommy-Yes.
Sammy-How do you knowl Tom
ny-Ahl How do l knowl Didn't
me mother femme break a winder
t'other day and didn't say nothln' p
Tit-Bits.
Kitty Ito Bertha in her new frockl
Why, darling. how becoming your
gown isl Absolutely any one would
think 1t quite new! Bertha-So kind
Of you to say SOL And yours, dear,
looks every bit as well as 1t did years
ago.-Boston Transcript
The doctors orders: Dedelia-Phat
are yez dom takin the lock off the
cupboard dure, Pat? Are yez crazyi
Pat-No, darlint; tn dochtor tould me
to-day that l must quit boltin me
tood-and I'm goin' to obey insthrus-
t1ons.-Cincinnati Times Star.
Mother-Why don't you behave bet
ter to your teacher7 Tommy-why,
I'm as kind to her as kin be- Moth.
er-You are2 Tommy-Yes'm. Ev-
cry time she ticks me cry as loud as
l kin SOS to make her believe she's
hurtin' me.-Philadelphla Isedger.
Hardupp-I tried to sell those dia-
monds l bought Of you, and was told
they were not genuine. Jeweler-
Did you sell them? bankruptcies, for
almost nothing. Jeweler-Well you go
back and try to buy them, and you
viii find out that they are genuine.
Exchange.
Rosalie-Have you chosen any OF
your bridesmaids yet? May-Yes-
Fanny Lyon. Rosalie-Why, I
thought you hated her? May-No.
not exactly; but the bridesmaids are
to wear yellow. and you can imagine
how that will go with Fanny's COM
plexion.-Bazar.
First Impressions: 1.-THE first time
saw you l thought how lucky
should be II l could induce that de-
licious little angel to be my wife
And what did you think2" 81 thought,
Obi dear mel wonder If l shall
looking man as THAR Puck
He had promised: The fair bride
wept copiously. "Boo-hoow she
screamed; you are a mean old thing;
so there! You didn't eat one OF my
biscuits!" But, darling" There
when you married me-boo-hoo!-that
you would die for me?"-Baltimore
News.
Obviously: Benevolent old gentle
man-Don't you think fishing cruel
sport? Fisherman should Just
think 1t was. I've been sitting here
five hours and never had single bite,
and I've got three wasp stings. and
been eaten up with flies, and the suns
taken all the skin off the back of my
neck!-Pick-Me-Up.
Her conclusion: do you think
your father has any idea that | have
serious intentions concerning your
81 heard him telling mother, the other
day, that he didn't think 1t would cost
any more to have you at the table
regularly than It does for me to feed
you from the pantry shelves every
night."-Chicago Record Herald.
Walter Scott liked to tell the story
OF his meeting an Irish beggar in the
street who importuned him for a six.
pence. Not having one, Scott gave
him a shilling. adding with a laugh
Now remember. you owe me six
pence" "Och. cure enough" said tbs
beggar. land God grant you may live
ill l pay youl"-Youth's companion
Customer-Waiter, beefsteak
Quick I'm In a hurry! Waiter-WG
haven't any beefsteak, sir! Customer
A chop, then. Waiter-Chops II of
Customer-Well, then, an omelet
Waiter-Impossible, sir, we Gus
tomer-Whatl Why, have you moth
ing at all In your restaurant? Waite
Yes, sir; we've got a bailifr-
Customer sharpening his knife on tn,
edge OF the plate)-Then let's hav,
one.-London Tit-Bits.
A preacher at the conclusion OF on,
9 OF his sermons said: Let all In tn
= house who are paying their debt
I stand up" Instantly every man. wo
Q man and child with one exception
, arose to their feet. The preache
q seated them and said: Now ever,
man not paying his debts stand up.
= The exception noted.a careworn, hun
cry looking individual, clothed In hi
n last summers suit, slowly assumes
a perpendicular position. How is II
. my friend" asked the minister. 'tha
: you are the only man not to meet hi
obligations 81 run a newspaper.
he meekly answered, land the brett
:, rem here who Just stood up are IN
subscribers. and" Let US pray,
. ~ot.tr,ad fha minister -Ionlfn Now.