The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-23
HUM0R OF THE DAY

HUMOR OF THE DAY
Patient-well. doctor. do you think I'm
getting well all right2
Doctor-Oh. .yess you still nave 8 eooQ
real Of fever, but that doesn't trouble me-
Patient-Of course not. If you had q
fever it wouldn't trouble me.--Le journal
Amusant.
Dun-Did the lawyer who erOss-szasnin-
ed you get you confusedg
so ratified that couldn't tell him whether
my mother-in-ia-W was dead or alive ana
she's been dead II years.-Bunalo IN
quirer
Frfend-say, old boy, how in the world
did you, with your small income. get such
a reputation as a great philanthropist2
Sharpp-I announced Tar and wide E4aaE
would pay the rallroad Iares OF ~ the
unemployed who wished to go to Work on
Friend-Well?
Sharpp-~Well, total expense SO FAR, ten
cents.-New York Weekly
she-Whom did Tou congratulate first
He-Neither; [ Congratulated the minis
she-why the minister?
He-Oh, he got the money, you know
Yonkers Statesman.
The boat drifted en- the clear lake The
man and the maid were silent and a little
sad. Dear he said, will you float with
me always-down the stream Of life2
The same as now2" she whispered
The same as now said he.
I will Gladly" cried the young girl
He, you see, was rowing. doing all the
hard work. She had the helm She steered.
Minneapolis Journal
Mr. Younghub-What? Boiled these
eggs IS minutes? Why, they needed only
Mrs. Younghub-Yes, dear, but the clock
was 10 minutes slow.-ChicagO News.
so Galley really had to pay Miss Pert
man $4,000 for breach of promise, chr
yes, and now he wants to marry her
for her money. '-Philadelphia Press.
Give me a. package OF. chewing gum
We don't keep such things
well you've got a card in the window
that says Typewriter supplies. ''-Hous-
ton Post
so you want to marry my daughter?'
demanded the stern-looking magnate.
Wen no; not exactly, replied the
perturbed young man; "er-er-that is.
want to become your son-in-Iaw. Chi
cago Record-Herald.
Miss slimpurse-wasn't Mr.. TIarduppe
terribly embarrassed when he proposed to
Miss cSotrox-Ffnancially perhaps: not
ootherwise. Philadelphia Record
sharpson-You seem disappointed with
Disappointed? I'm disguised
II a fraud. It isn't even Objectionable
Chicago Tribune.
Observation-Disclosures is not so good as it
was last year, my dear, so I'm afraid it
dressnaker's bills.
wife-Why, how can I. John? don't
make out her bills.-Chicago News.
Father-F'rom my observation Of him
last night, came to the conclusion that
young man of yours was rather wild.
Daughter-Of course 1t was your con
slant observation that made him wild
he wanted you to go up stairs and leave
US alone.-Philadelphia Ledger.
Caller-1 wish to contest my uncle's
Lawyer-Is the estate worth it?
Caller-Efe left one hundred thousand
dollars.
Lawyer-Let me see: That's fifty thou
sand for me, and fifty thousand for the
lawyer on the other side. Yes, it's worth
it.-New York Weekly.
You say you did nothing that was
questionable to secure your election
Absolutely nothing" answered Sena-
tor Sorghum. I put myself in the hands
We're friends who wouldn't allow me to
get left Washington Star.
Mr.. Easterner-This place must be pref
ty well civilized by now.
apache Abe-Wa-ai stranger, should
smile; Why, we only had six killed last
Mr.. Easterner-whati Six killed? And
you call that being cIviiized2
Apache Abe-Sure, stranger. They was
killed in a civilized way-by Squire Per-
kins new automoblle.-Judge.
Kitty had never seen a gas meter be-
eoB BISw does it 80 papa9" she asked. By
I think not. DEAR he said. Probably
expanded air-"-chicago Tribune.
Yes, it's too bad the way the rich folks
are carrying on; but, dear, dear. what's
the good OF another French revoIutfon2
80 long as there are more poor folks than
rich ones there will be more votes than
dollars, and we can't correct anything at
the polls, If we find 1t to be so bad that
Brooklyn Eagle.