The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-03-25
4 Ss.'6IksAES
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. sue engagements genuineY Mvrtle~
News. -Chieago
va oa'e Did ye take vacation this
year, Mixer Corrigan-"oi ala not
was ~ was out on strike from Nav 10
October."-Puck. "
W. waiter find here in my soup
needle-a needle, sirv' @Tbat mrs,
De misprint-that should no
noodle."-Judge.
,.,. now you gettin' on wild youah
r,lnmeue' Lou?" Il done learned 10
suu up the oughts, but de figures bod.
uer me."-Collier's Magazine
All IN the brand: Homer-"What's
'"e uInerence In time between Chicago
anu rarlsF Rounder-"Well. that de.
penus on the kind OF a time you are
looking for."-Chicago News.
He says he proposes to make auto.
"aooiies that will easily attain a speed
OF eighty miles an hour.p "Wbaw,
mats a great business undertaking 3"
les out most of all, it means a great
Undertaking business. "-Philadelpbia
Press. pm"
How did they ever come to send
MN TO the legislature?" well Won
see, they were prevented by a techni.
cailty from sending him to the peni-
tentiary and he showed no disposition
10 move out Of town."-Chlcago Rec.
ord Herald.
Farmer Jones-"Wal, thar's one
tning l like about these plaguey auto.
mobolists, anyway" Farmer Brown
:" nat is that?" Farmer Jones-"They
don't mind getting killed themselves
any more than they do killing other
folk."-Brooklyn Life.
Baggs--"And so poor Daggs is dead.
never got chance to bid him good
by. The first thing | do when get
TO heaven will be to say how sorry
l was" Faggs-"But suppose he
didn't get to heaven| Baggs-"Then
you tell him for me."--Town Topics.
How is your school of journalism
dolngF' We'll, it is little slow. We
have no trouble in getting people who
are willing to be teachers. The trouble
Is to find anybody who doesn't think
he knows all about how a newspaper
ought to be run."-Washington Star.
Il understand your wife is quite
literary" Il should say so; she won
a ten-dollar prize from the Ladies'
Own Journal with an article on How
we managed to save enough in two
years to move twice and pay the
plumber for connecting the gas range"
Puck.
Il don't like to say such long pray
ers," said little girl the other night;
Il want to say nice short ones like
nursery does" what kind does nur-
sy say?" inquired her mother. "Oh,
she just says, oh, Lord, why do |
have to get up philadelphia
Ledger.
Kifter-"Thats a nice umbrella
you've got" Lifter-"Yes, it was a
present" Kifter-"Indeed? Who gave
it to you Lifter-"Nobody gave II
to me, but it has an inscription on II
showing that it was presented to
John F. Jones' whoever that is
Philadelphia Press.
"Old Bliggers is such strong Dem.
ocrat | should not have supposed he
would consent to his daughters marry
ing young Smith. who is Republic
can" "Well, Biggers says his wife
is a Democrat, too, and he is going
to get somebody else into the family
for her to argue with."-Life.
The slck man had called his lawyer
Il wish to explain again to YOU" said
he. weakly, about willing my prop
erty-" The attorney held up his
hand reassuringly, There, there" said
he: .leave that all to me-" The sicb
man sighed resignedly. 81 suppose
might as WE'LL" said he. turning upor
his pillow; you'll get it, anyway.
Judge.
Anxious Inquirer-"Is it true tina
for fifteen shillings l can insure mJ
house for thousand poundsY Clerl
-"Oulte true, madam. If your house
burns down we pay you a Thousand
Mounds" Anxious Inquirer-"And d'
YOU make any inquiries as to how thu
fire originated?" Clerk-"Certainly
We make the most careful inquiries.
Anxious Inquirer-"Ah! l though
there was a catch in it somewhere
Taller.
Mrs. Kidder-"Charles, can't yol
give me another checkI see you
have a whole book full Mr.. kiddel
-"That doesn't signify, dear. hav'
used up my balance at the bank.
Mrs Kidder-'Then why didn't yol
give up your check-book? Now III
no use for you to tell stories, JOSEPH
Kidder. If you mean to say shan
have any money, why don't you SAL
60 right out, like manT'-Ex.
The principal of the school wa
talking with him about his boy d.
the way, Mr.. Wipedunks,' he said;
have made a discovery about Jerry
Hos ambidextrous." Il don't see how
that can be-" replied Mr.. Wipedunks
with rising Indignation; "he hahn
never been exposed to it. Besides. h
was vaccinated last year. we bath
him regular every week, and his mothe
aIvavs makes him wear a little ba
Of assafiddity tied around his necS
So,,,, of the other boys has been lyir