The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-04-09

 it necessary to go through the world with a chip on her shoulder. When no principle was involved, she refrain ed from expressing what she drought, and particularly she was careful not to comment unfavorably on others. pre- sent or absent. In passing, it may be observed that, while 1t requires nerve to make unfriendly criticisms to the< person who Is present, 1t Is the , nerve of a ruffian, not of lady. and its only excuse is an overmastering ex- citement. To say disagreeable things in public, in cold blood. even If they are true and in a measure deserved, is a bit of cruelty, possible to none but | the ill-bred. To attack the absent l in any circumstance is cowardly and | infamous.
 There is kind of candor that sets a peaceable family on edge and starts a | quarrel by its own rough impetus It is tolerably sure to be inopportune, to i begin a conversation when a man is already late for thYs train. or a girl Is dressed for a party and has not | time to change her toilette. Plain | speaking between friends. when two | of them are alone, doors shut and cur | tains drawn, is sometimes necessary but 1t must be managed adroitly, or 1t ! may leave wounds.
 | Tell me my faults" says the party of 1 the second part to the party of the first | Tell me exactly where you think am weak and what I can do to reform my | behavior"
 The experiment will be a test of | friendship. Nine times out of then it will fatally flaw the friendship. | A man of talent and scholarly tastes, very successful in a difficult and ardu- | ous profession. took 1t into his head to write a novel It covered many pages of paper and occupied his leisure for a year. When it was completed he brought 1t to a literary friend and ask ed for candid criticism
 Do not spare me-" he said: tell me all the defects. can bear anything ex- tcept faint praise"
 The friend read the novel, and found | 1t dull, didactic, and fully of obvious i platitudes, the clumsy production of an amateur. the kind of prosy book that can never be published, except at the authors expense. In confidence that he would not give offense he spoke his mind unsparingly, with the result ] that he lost a delightful acquaintance. Few men or women can patiently en- dure a stab to vanity. Amour propre" once hurt does not recover. The wound aches under the scar.
 l We are not to tell lies, nor to eyade. nor prevaricate, nor exaggerate. One | may tell a dastardly lie and not open his mouth. There are times when to be silent Is to proclaim a falsehood. But speaking ones mind brusquely and boorishly is no part of truth-speaking.
 If Doris has bought an unbecoming hat, why spoil her pleasure in 1t by ex- claiming about her mistake? If Lu- ellie is looking pale and i'll. why in quire if anything ails her? Wait for an explanation. If your neighbor's son has been conditioned In his examina- tions and your son brings home the news, why step over to condole with the lads mother? If Bridget makes
 heavy bread once In a way, why dwell I on the mistake, when you have omit
 ted to praise her for the loaves that are generally light as puffs and sweet as honey2
 The Bible bids us speak the truth in love. That direction seems to cover the whole ground. Whoever brings love, true. long suffering and unselfish. to
 bear on the business life. need never have the least fear that she will blun- der when she finds occasion for speak ing her mind.
 It really takes a lot of self-repres-
 sion and self-restraint and altruism tn make us able to live with one another
 in peace. And it Is harder for some people to be decent than for others to be saints. But one thing we may do,
 and that Is to keep still when what we
 say may do harm and not good.
 Sweet friend, when thou and are gone
 Beyond earth's weary labor.
 When small shall be our need of praise
 From comrade or from neighbor,