The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-10-01
N1hir11s OF the Idler.
Cousin Mandy's Troublesome Nerves.

one 10 put himself In my position and
make allowances for my nervousness,
and this Is MI the confederation | get
70 hear you talk, people would think
that rooseters Growing was like the
Behaving OF Il bull, or the shrek Of III
factory whistle. Why. don't you Know
| don't believe l ever noticed II fowl .
Growing In my llfe-no, not even when i
4 had tho fever and ugue and couldn't
alcep Il winkln
And don't YOU know" snortcd back,
that never noticed the town bells
even when had the nervous prostrat.on
and was that restless that Iamoked my
$Powhatan pipe IN my sleep 10 pull my
self togetlcr? s5ii5j & & Es
During this colloquy, when Cousin
Mandy was heaving verbal red pepper
K pods by the dozen a me, and r was
chunking conversational horse radlshes
back at her BY tho score, the Queen
Bee looked on In mute Amusement.
HI theresa woman for you, who don't
know The meaning OF nerves.! Sle's as
steady az green grocer'H scales and
nothing can skeer her Once, when d
k lentherWlng bat came in our house, she
drove II out alone and tunnssistcd VITA
broom without once going in,o Mysteries
Yes. as was bout to say, the Queen
Bee looked on in Arrangement, for wnen
we got to discussing nerves we were talk
E ing Choctaw ito her. Finally, seeing
that Cousin Mandy (nnd poss.siy nyse..y
were getting absolutely Indecent III her.
display ofRtemper,sshe said. Here, here.
this thing wont 40! You two fussy
cats are n.scratching and a-peck1ng and
a-sassing a each other vorse than two
gJ-don 't-know- want. And as far as&I
can see. RS merely q question Of which
has got the floolahest notions and when
ig the bissest Eu:np when both Of you
ought to be stirring your stumps and
making yourselves. useful to other peo-
pie"
I've been to a heap Of agricultural
fairs and city expositions bit 7 an't yet
seen where any blue ribbons were offer
ed for nerves. and If ] had my way I:
would dose EN- every last one Of en-
with rough-on-rat or quicksilver and
white OF eggs III
1.-THE truth about tho whole business,
continued the neutral soul, i''ts that the
disease YOU both grumblc so much about
Is wha we plain. everyday. steady. pa
tient folks Call hard -headedness or con
trariness. When YOU two think you aren't
being watched you don't have any more
nervousness than a churnN,or a bread
roller. III bet on that. You're both like
two rotten, spollt children, and each OF
you ought to be taken out and Spanked
II Now, there are times, 1Sadmlt when
thoroughly disagree with the Queen Beo.
but on this occasion was forcIblyFl I'M
pressed With the wisdom Of her remarks
that is In 20 far s they hit off the
whtms and centricties OF Cousin Man
dy. Darn my buttons. II they didn't de-
Ncrlbe the old woman exactly. OF course.
what was said in reference to me was
only uttered because Cousin Mandy was
our guest and politeness required TINT I
also be Included In the rebuke.
And Upon reflection. I have long since
learned to think that other peoples nerves
are simply the product OF their imagIna-
lions. and that they don't merit par
ticle Of sympathy. But with zrne--ah..
that's different. .5