Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1905-05-11
BY KATE UPsoN CLARK. +

1t is probable that not one girl in q
thOusand-if SO many-is instructed be-
fore marriage as to her duties to her
mOther-in-law.
Conversely, how many mothers in law
study the duties of their position?
One of the chief stupidities among the
many with which human nature is at
ficted is that of not taking the long
view.
Another says: ooh, my boy is leav-
ing home to start out in business for
himself How dreadful this ISL
Well-what did you bring him up for?
Did you look forward to having him tied
always ito your apron strings?" Did
you intend to support him in manhood,
just as you did in childhood? And did
you suppose, in case he earned his own
living at all, that he would always be
able to stay at home and do it? Had
you not observed that a large proportion
of sons have to leave their parents home
and go to some distant place in order to
make the best living?
And then did you intend that he
should live bachelor-never having the
dignity and joy of home and wife and
children of his own? Did you think,
with all the lessons of past generations
behind you-especially of your own and
your husbands experience-that the
love of his parents was going to be
enough for him? Did you not fore
see that stronger and deeper love must
and should-come to him some day?
And is it possible that you were so self
Ism That you were sorry that this bright
est OF all earthly experiences (if it occur
IN the natural way and between noble
souls), was coming some day to your
boy? ,l.
Inc woman who does not thus look
forward and thus rejoice must be lack
Ing both mentally and morally.
The good woman brings her boy up
TO aim at independence in manhood: and
II IN the long view that independence
seems likely to come more quickly or
more richly in some distant place than
near his home, she speeds him on his
way.
She wants him to set up a home for
himself. She does not want him to live
and die an old bachelor A superfuity
!, of bachelors is one Of the greatest
plaques with which community can be
cursed.
She knows that she will have to over
look faults, and that she cannot expect
the new daughter-in-law to fall in love
with her, just because she is the mother
OF that daughters husband. She knows
that every relation in life has it's own
peculiar trials and joys, and that some
preparation of mind and spirit should
be made in order that that relation may
be properly maintained.
Yet how many women take this long
view OF life, and try to fit themselves,
as the time approaches, for the high Of
flee of the mother-in-law? Judging
from the funny papers, we should
answer: Every few
One vivacious, but faithful and affec-
tionate mother, went one day to visit
an older friend, and said, laughingly:
you have heard that my Tom is going
to marry Amy V. tits good match
and we are all pleased. We are going
to miss our good boy cruelly-but long
ago determined not to grieve for any
such thing as this. have always been
concerned for fear might fail in my
duties as wife and mother Now have
new fear. would not for the world
fail In my duties as mother-in-law.
But they seem to be of delicate and
difficult nature. understand that a
really satisfactory mother in-law is one
of the rarest creatures in existence. You
have been mother-in-law for some
years nOw-and you are model in what
ever you undertake. Now, give me the
benefit of your experience"
WELL" returned the older lady.
there are only a few points of which /
am perfectly sure These are: Let the
young people entirely alone, as far as
giving advice or criticising is concerned.
Do whatever they ask you to- Give them
all the nice things you can Say pleas
ant things and leave the unpleasant
things unsaid, unless there is absolute
necessity. That is as far as can in
struct you"
But those of the daughter-in-lawa are
quite as important. The girl who prom
Uses to marry a young man may boast
that she is not .going to marry his
whole family" But flesh and blood can
not be argued out Of existence. In a
way, my dear girl, you have got to marry
his whole family when you marry him.
And If you are at all what you ought to
be, you want to make the best kind of q
sister-in-law and the best kind Of a
daughter You may not be able
to love your new relatives but you can
be frank and friendly with them, doing
all that you can to make them happy
and guarding their interests and their
good name and dignity as faithfully as
you guard those Of your husband. Ii
serving his loved ones you are only sery-
ing him. He will love you hundred
times more when he sees that you rec
ognize your duty toward them,
A vast amount Of unhappiness arises