Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-07-19
DAILY SHORT STORY
a PAIR OF LUNATlcS.
TOriginal.l


| saking his degree in medicine was ap-
| pointed house physician at the Merton
Asylum For the Insane. One day lac
| wrote me that there was to be dance
at the asylum for the milder patients
/ and asked me 10 come up. Curious 10
witness such a gathering. / accepted
| the invitation. l arrived just in time.
Charlie took me into the dancing hall
! and said 10 me:
These patients are only insane on
| some one subject. and we don't con-
slider them dangerous. You can speak
| TO any of them without an intrOduc-
ton"
| chatted with several patients, but
| could not detect anything wrong with
! any of them. At last / noticed a very
attractive looking woman apparently
about twenty eight. who excited my
interest Her face wore a high cast of
thought expression, and il seemed to
me as l gazed upon ii that sympathet-
ically she was capable of taking in the
whole world. l Joined her and invited
her TO dance. She accepted. and fan
cied she did SO fearing she would hurt
u
dance we took seats together.
You have a nice place here" 1 re-
marked.
Yes. When did you come? l have
not seen You here before"
4 came up this afternoon"
YES" she went on. I'VE think it a
very nice place. I'm much pleased with
if" Then she added more to herself
than TO me lin spite of the cost above
the contract"
"You seem to know all about IT,"
go l should. / built it,
Indeed" / said to her, then to my
self. AT last I have found one whose
weakness is apparent"
How much did you put into it?' I
asked after a pause in order TO draw
her out
at cost a hundred thousand. The
contract called for ninety thousand"
Are you very rlch?"
81 have enough to make many people
happy"
'1Ow much are you WORTH
About a million"
1 was surprised at the moderate esti-
mate she put on her possessions. 1 had
supposed she considered herself ut least
multimillionaire.
What is your occupation in life:"
She asked me presently.
She seemed so rational on all sub
jects except her wealth and benefac-
tons that l concluded to tell her the
truth. l informed her that l was Il
scientist. and when she asked me what
Investigations l was then engaged in
| confessed that / was struggling with
the problem of producing conditions
similar to or the same as life.
What success have you had?" she
asked
Il think / have produced the life
principle Of the lowest order of plants"
She drew n sigh and, rising. said
with great kindllness: Il must leave
you now. l have a great deal to do.
The responsibility Of this affair rests
wholly on me-
] pitied her with all her fancied
wealth and cares and turned to lady
who at once Informed me that she was
heir to the throne of the Philippine Is
lands and had been diSpossessed by the
United States government took her
into supper and, having provided for
her refreshment, concluded ! would
go Oh to the piazza and smoke. While
looking for match ] heard voices in
the next room.
Il tell you he's as sane as you or f."
How can a man be sane who is try
ing to reproduce lifeT
The voices were those of DIR. Fisher
and the lady who had told me she had
built the asylum. At her reply Fisher
chuckled. That's good mighty good
insane because he's trying to repro
duce life. You women will be the
death Of me Why, don't you know
there are scientists trying to do that
very thingT"
4 don't care if there are. TheyVare
a. crazy as this one"
While | listened sudden succession
Of thoughts struck my brain as shots
from rapid fire guns. The patient had
thought me insane. / had thought her
insane. Did she not have cause to con
slider me insane7 Was / not 4 fit sub
lect for bedlamf
Very Well" continued the lady. IF
he is sane he is certainly not a gentle
man. He asked me how much this
place cost me and how wealthy l am
This was too much. / could endure it
no longer / rushed into the room
where they were and stood facing
Them. nay cheeks burning.
Billy" said the doctor, you've been
making a guy of yourself. Let me in
tToduce you TO Miss Merton, TO whose
We are indebted for this
institution"
u humbly crave Miss Merton's par
don" ! said abjectly. Il should never
have presumed TO ask her the questions
did had / not
considered her as crazy as yourself.
You do her injustice She is remarka-
bly, sane The only evidence of insan-
ity she has ever displayed was when
she said yours was such an Interesting
case. No case is interesting that is in
durable
Miss Merton blushed slightly and
i l. -