The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-08-07
Ye Old Tim

N 0 state has contributed more to Fl the "gayety of nations" than
 Kansas; and of all the galaxy of political and social characters that have made the sunf1ower state famous not the least of these is Jeremiah Simp- son. or "Sockless Jerry" as they used to call him in the heyday of populism. But the dispatches say Jerry Is i'll now, nigh unto death. Let us hope for the sake of the spice of life, that he will recover as he did from his malady of six years ago.
 At that time he recuperated at Excelsior springs. There is proud saying in that Missouri town that if one desires to prosper and have friends there he must do three things faithfully: Eat catfish, drink whisky and vote the democratic ticket straight always. Now, Jerry ab- hors catfish, shuns whisky and hates democrat That is why he had lone some time of it in Excelsior Springs When Mir Simpson arrived at the hotel there the news reached the parlor and several feminine guests hustled out to look at the signature on the register
 "oh." giggled one of them addressing the clerk, T wonder if he wears socks? ?p
 MT. Simpson. who was standing by heard the remark The women all laughed at the query, but they stopped suddenly when Jerry said to the clerk:
 T wonder if they wear stockinss?' The women then fled to the parlor, and their comments on the Kansas man were not very fattering.
 There were several old fellows in Con-
 gress l used to like to get a joke on," said Jerry in a reminiscent mood and
 one of these was Cannon of Illinois. I had made an anti-expansion speech, and Cannon got up and said that if had made that speech in Manila l would have been tried by a drumhead court-martiaI and shot. When he had finished got up and said l would just as soon be shot in Manila for making a speech of that kind as to be shot in Congress by an old smoothbore, brass Cannon from Illinois
 Tom Reed enjoyed that very much, and he shook all over with suppressed laugh ter. He came up to me afterward and said: That was all right, Jerry. l for give you lot of things for that About that Dingley episode It was not l who discovered Dingley's hat; 1t was republican member. Dingley used to wear fine plug hat that was regu- lar cloud of smoke by day and a pillar fire by night We populists used to take a shot at 1t every once in a while. When
 he was in the House Dingley always kept 1t standing rim up on a corner of his
 desk. One day a republican happened to look into 1t and said to me: Jerry, go
 over and look into Dingley's hat I did so. but didn't find any eggs or anything and said so I was told to look again.
 Then I saw the word London and sailed into Dingley, the high priest of protection,
 for wearing London-made hat. It was in fun but Dlngley took the matter very seriously, and spluttered and fumed and | Connecticut, and the London was put into | it to catch the dudes.
 'sThen I said: "Well. I caught dude from Maine with it. He wouldn't speak to me for month on that account but
 one day I went to him and said: " See here Dingley, how much longer are you going to sulk about that old hat ] business?
 l And he laughed and put out his hand, and we became good friends again. Reed | enjoyed the joke on Dingey immensely. l He knew 1t was a joke, and that his fel- | low statesman had simply been ripped up."
 Simpson in the plunge was entirely dif- ferent man from the statesman at the ho- | tel. The evening he went in there was a of = l whom knew Simpson when he came out 1 in his bathing suit. An Excelsior Springs
 bathing suit is weird garment, com 1 plete disguise to the figure. It buttons over each shoulder. and the wearer must | be a contortionist to get 1t fastened. It | has a short skirt sewed to it below the | waist This did not add to Simpsons s l natural beauty. But he was soon in the | water with a crowd of small boys and 1 kept to the shallows. As soon as it was noised about that the noted Jerry Simp- | son was in the plunge everyone stared I at him until at last they drove him out and into his clothes again.
 "I was having a good time with the boys" said he. "but I couldn't stand the others. They seemed to think they had a pleasant remarks about my feet, you | know"
 | Regarding the hosiery story that always | comes to mind when the name of Jerry | simpson is mentioned 1t originated in the anecdote that the Kansan is shy of giv- | ing to the general public. Its purport is | that in order to ingratiate himself with