Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1905-09-28
How BinliS
MIXED the Cow

{ liz real COW which the Binkse
y were TO have with their summe
a farm finally appeared one evening, 4
company with a wild-headed boy, an
= when she had been turned into III
e yard, Mr. Binks went up to the hous
2 and said:
! Well, she's here at last: and nov
for the romantic dairy business. Com,
out and look the winsome wee thing
: over and see me do the milking act.
She was a COW with a "crumpleC
horn More than that, she was un
dersized and scrubby, and her eye die
not have that frank, innocent express
sion always to be found IN the humble
minded COW.
IL don't like her looks" was Mrs.
Binks' verdict, after a long survey.
What did you expect?9 asked Binks.
Did you imagine she'd have two
humps, like a camel or a trunk. like
an elephant? A COW is a COW. II
you are looking for rhinoceros or a
buffalo you'll have to 30 further"
I've seen cows before. replied the
lady, with little pepper in her tones.
She may be better than she looks:
but | think youll be disappointed in
her. She's evidently very common
stock.
"0h, she is, Ell? That shows how
much you know about cows. She's
pure Leghorn
i never heard of a Leghorn COW"
exclaimed Mrs. Binks
Haven't you2 That's wonderful!
Perhaps you never heard of a South
down or a Merino COW? There are lots
Of things for you to learn yet, especial
ly about farming | don't say this COW
is handsome, or as graceful as an ante
lope; but what we are after is milk
and cream. She's a Leghorn, II know
anything about cows, and she'll prob
ably have to be MIXED about five or
six times a day. | will now open the
performance.
Il don't believe you have ever MIXED
a COW in your life, she said.
Don't you? Well, prepare for a sur
prise The day you put on short
dresses / MIXED 1G cows aad churned
20 pounds Of butter | may be rusty,
but"
But what?"
Il was just thinking whether you
MIXED a Leghorn COW on the right
Or left side. It's on the lett, think"
AN cows are MIXED on the right
hand side, Mr.. Binks"
Perhaps SO; but well try this one
on the left III use that old soap box
for a milk stool You can sit down
on that stone and sing while | play
dairymaid. This wfs one of the
things that induced ne TO hire tbs
farm for the summer coming out to
milk our own Leghorn COW as the
shades of evening"
The shades Of evening didn't fall, but
the COW picked up a hind foot. and
sent the milk pail whirling 20 feet
away, and as MIR. Binks lodged he fell
OH the box.
BY the mud of New Jersey" he
shouted. as he turned over and got up.
but III have her life to pay for this!'
Il told you il was the wrong side"
protested his wife.
Wrong side be hanged! What's the
difference TO a COW? She's acre to be
MIXED. and she can't have her own
way about things II she tries that
little game on me again III break her
in two! Wen drive her into a corner
over there. Come TO remember Leg
horn cows always have to be driven
into corner to be MIXED
This time Binks approached her on
the right-hand side, and. after patting
her hip in a fatherly way for a min
ute he said:
Whoa, now, and back up That's
the style! Mrs. Binks. you walk up
and down and sing something What
this COW lacks is confidence in us. She
can't tell what our designs are Sing
a couple of verses Of Come Into the
Garden. Maud. and give her to under
stand that she is among friends"
And you be easy in taking hold.
Some cows have 70 be petted. you
you know
"I'n attend to the petting business.
I know this is the right side after all:
but III have her taught to be MIXED
on both sides within a week. want
no one-sided cows around me Jee-
whiz. what was that2'
The COW had lifted both hind feet
at once. but missed both pail and Mr..
Binks.
You never MIXED a COW in all your
life. 4" exclaimed Mrs Binks
Then III begin now. or perish in
the attempt" be shouted. "Confound