New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-10-23
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

# was out in Kansas City that girl went i mo =
! Loot,s+ora and asked to a copy OF ms
pioneer" She looked at it for a Few Inlnu'eS anu
| handed IL back to the clerk -
| '"Tan't what 1 want" she SAID. "8"' O00--
on piano playing
| Did you think The Pioneer was eU04A @
WHY, yes" she replied. Wouldn't you from
that Nance"
Her Unsaemly Perversity.-Mrs. Hunks Wish
you woudn'tsbe so positive There are TWO siueS ~
Old Hunks with a roar}well that's no reason reason
why you should always Do Oh INC
| Chicago Tribune
u was a Main. unadorned declaration OF condi-
4ions and not theories that caused some merrinent
in the Circuit Court in Joplin. No. according 10
THE Globe" Of that place, the other day "hen tS
keeDer Of a negro club was arraigned before Judge
T,abbs IN q charge OF selling liquor without
license The negro stood trembling before the par
of Justice and quite as white as the nature Oh
his complexion would allow. We'll L don Aho"
what to do about your case" said his hohor' with
seeming sternness but with heart tempered with
mercy; 'T can fine you from $50 to 500 What do
YOU think ought to do with your
Il don't know, judge It's up-up to YOU.
suffered the negro with such abject earnestness
that the court. judge and all burst into laughter
Mike" said Flooding Pete, as he climbed into
de rai6iroads'
because when we takes a free ride now de worst
dat haPpens Is be put t oh he STTeZe de
sure."-CWashington Star
Professor Oncken. who Is lecturing at the Uni
versity of Chicago on history. is a most accom-
plshed Inguist He spoke English almost without
a foreign accent after being in London month
He is said never to be at loss for English
word. though he once for the German equiva-
lent of a common Some one had asked him
at the Quadrangle Club: Herr oncken what Is
the German word for furnace?" after hesitating
long while Herr Oncken gave the German equiVa-
lent for what would translate in English the cen
trail heating plant" He much amused as
the Quadranglers at not being able to give better
German synonyme. and the laugh was general When
somebody suggested: Fancy your wife asking you
the last thing at night: My dear did you tend 10
the central heating plant%
THIS IS THE APPROVED METHOD.
She runs to the gate as he comes. there to meet
The ioy that she feels in her smile is expressed.
With wifely embraces she lovingly greets him;
She knows he is weary and needs good rest
He'll feel a deal better. she's sure after that
The lady is what we would all call winner,
She knows what to do when she wants a new nat
She wears his pet gown and she's mighty good
She has Which is lucky. his favorite dish,
The coffee is worthy the rest of the cooking.
He seems to have all a mere mortal could wish
She talks to him gayly her stlvery laughter
He has his suspicious of what she is after.
But. then. it is cheap at the price or a hat
She brings his old jacket when dinner is ended.
His slippers and pipe. not forgetting the match
She gets out her basket to darn and to patch.
Oh cyniCs may the marriage relation,
But what half sweet that nice, coy chair
And what does 1t matter If soon conversation
Insensibly turns to new winter hat?
Chicago News.
Tho courts OF Nevada likely TO have a chance
to pass on the legal aspects of hazing. A freshman
declined to join in the college yells he
ducked in a lake on the campus and otherwise
treated for the cure OF his idiosyncrasy His father
obtained thirty-two warrants charging assault and
battery and served them the boys college mates
selhsh.-wrson-Wna do you think OF govern
ment ownership?
Gilson-Nen, 1 should approve OF it heartily IL
had anything that l wanted the government to
buy.-(Somervile Journal