Waterbury evening Democrat., 1905-03-14
WATERBURY EVENING DEMOCRAT TUESDAY. MARCH 1905.

What silky goldy' he whispered. "'S skein O fate, my dear girl!'
 Suddenly the schoolteacher rapped on the desk and bade us come to order, and Ransom Walker was called to the chair.
 'Thet there is talent in Faraway township" he said, having reluctantly come to the platform, "and talent of the very highest order, no one can deny who has ever attended lyceum at the Howard schoolhouse. I see evi- dences of talent in ,every face before me. And wish to ask what are the two great talents of the Yankee-tal- ents that made our forefathers famous the world over? I pause for an an swer"
 i, He had once, been a schoolmaster, and that accounted for his didactic style.
 What are the two great talents of the Yankee?' he repeated, his hands clasped before him.
 "Doughnuts an pie" said Uncle Eb, who sat in far corner.
 ''No, sir" MT. Walker answered. "There's some hey talent fer sawin' wood, but we don't count that. It's war an speakin'-they are the two great talents of the Yankee. But his greatest talent is the gift O gab. Give him a chance t talk 1t over with his enemy, an he'll lick i'm without fight. An when his enemy is another Yankee why, they both git licked, jest as 1t was in the case of the man thet sold me lightnin' rods. He was sorry he done it before I got through with him. If we did not encourage this talent in our sons they would be talked to death by our daughters. Ladies and gentle men, 1t gives me pleasure t say that the best speakers in Faraway township have come here t discuss the important question. - B.
 Resolved, That intemperance has caused more misery than war
 'T call upon Moses Tupper to open for the affirmative"
 Moses. who rose to respond, had a most unlovely face, with g thin and bristling growth of whiskers. In giv- ing him features nature had been gen. erous to a fault He had large red nose and a mouth vastly too big for any proper use. It was mouth fash toned for odd sayings. He was we'll to oft ho a self made man. Uncle Eb used to say that if Nose Tupper had had the "makin' uv himself he'd oughter done 1t more careful"
 I remember not much of the speech he made, but the picture of him as he rose on tiptoe and swung his arms like a man fighting bees and his drawling tones are as familiar as the things of yesterday. .-,
 Gentlemen an ladies'" said he pres ently, "let me show you a pictur'. It Is the drunkard's child. It is hungry: an there ain't no food in it's home. The child is poorer n straw fed hoss. 'Tain't he'd thing t eat since day be- fore yistiddy. Pictur' 1t to yourselves as 1t comes cryin' to its mother an says:
 "'Ma, gi' me piece O bread an but. ter.'
 "She covers her face with her apron an says she, There ain none left, my child i 4a4Ah" Dime by the child comes ag'in an holds up it's poor little hans an says, Ma. please gi' me piece O cake An she goes an looks out O the win der CT mebbe pokes the fire an says, There ain none left, my child
 An bime by it comes ag'in. an 1t says. Please gi' me little piece O, pie
 An she mebbe Hops into chair an says. sobbin', There ain none left, my child
 "No pie. Now. Mir. Chairman" ex- claimed the orator as he lifted both hands high above his head, ''if this ain't misery, in Gods name what is 1t?
 Years ago, when I was a young man. Mir. President. l went to dance one night at the village of Migleyville. I got toothache. an the devil tempted me with whisky. an tuk one glass an then another. an purity soon be- gun t think was a mighty hefty sort of a character, I did. an stud on corner an stumped everybody t fight with me. an bime by an accommodate in kind of chap cone along. an that's all I remember O what happened. When I come to my coat tails had been tore of. I'd lost one leg O my trousers. a bran new silver watch. tew dollars in money an pair O spectacles. When