The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-05-14

No mans cup Of domestic unhappiness
ever quite overllows u.til 10 has gone
through the process of moving that
is of transferring his goods and cnattels
from one house toaanoillcl.
True, there nre9 other mar tai 7afflicti'G.
such as the shocklngly neS!!'seSed ac-.
vent OF twins visitations oof 4 the in,
laws" unpleasant asinterchangcs OF
Billingsgate with the cook, quarrels with
reighbors about your children and their
children, and controversies with urchins
who persist in stealing the garbage bar
rels for bonfires-but all tlie.e nale
into insisnificance whenss the furniture
van rumbles up to the house and the day
of changing llabitation arrives
The status Of Job. who held the cham
apionship belt for being tho trousered
Patient Griseldn of the earth 1--WE will
charltably suppose that he wore trousers)
can never be firmly established in the
masculine mind until II is proved beyond
the peradventure Of a doubt tnat he. Job.
the unmurmuring, actually moved ac-
cording to the modern acceptation of tho
word Nor will we be satisfied to know
that he folded his tents in the night and
silently loped away That will mt do.
To be convinced that Job underwent
and emerged morally scathless from the
whole agonizing test, We must know that
he helped his wife pack the crockery and
kitchen utensils; that he stood on
murderous stepladder and took down
curtains; that he burrowed among III.
cracker boxes and broken chairs in the
packing room; that he JugEled tho pre-
serve Jars in tho pantry and eroveltd
on all tours with a carpet tack extractor
between his clenched teath; tnat he as
sisted in ''toting'' bGO-pound mirror
down a winding stairway and lent hand
in jamming his Tuxedo or splke-tail coat
into blanket-ladcn camphor chest, rat
ting with moth balls
Nay, more (or bray more. II you care
TO be asinine) we shall not be satisfied
with all this unless we have 1t proved that
uncomplaininE Job not only moved" out
Of one house, but also moved into an
other.
In short, the process under review is n
sort of dual tortue, or. TO change tho
metaphors, q douhle-jinted Hydra-h eaded
monster that breeds trouble no matter
at which end you tackle 1t.
The ''moving'' business reveals two
facts never before notced-nrst, that
man owns ten Thousand times rs much
nersonal property rs he thinks he pos
sesses. and. second, that the amount of
dirt which can accumulate in one house
in n tWelyemonth would suffice TO rur-
nish soil for the hanging gardens of
Babylon.
But it isn't the dirt which harnesses
ono So much at the final moment One
ca n swallow that. II Is the overwhelming
raalization OF the fact that ono Is pos
sessed of so many goods and chattels--
articles too good ito give away, yet hardly
valuable enough to transport at seventy
five cents q load. The sight of such prop
erty Invariably raises n puzzllng issue
that OF generosity q. e., tho giving away
of something we don't wanD versus
parsmony (the clinGing to that which.
In Justice to ourselves, 'wo ought to give
away.
rake three-legged chair, for instance.
One impulse prompts US to hand It over
for keens 10 tho cooks cousin, who al
ways happens to be on hand whom she
sees n chance OF scratching among dis
carded rummage. Another IMPULSE says:
''Hold on to it; you may need 1t some
day.
So there you are. torn by conflicting
emotions concerning fragment OF prop
erty worth probably twelve cents. while
the house girl Is blithely smashing a
ten dollar cut glass berry-howl. cxtorted
on your wedding day from some friend
who dared not fail TO offer u sacrifice
to the matrimonial Minotaur,
III IA at this crucial period Of ono's
llfe too that ono learns to appreciate
the value Of apparently worthless things
which get lost in the shuttle q
Let us say, by way OF masculine illus
traitor, that ones tooth brush, shoe
paste and razor. by some lneYplicable
nd ta nd ,tpr "a