davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-10-08

spots while his man brushed out
g his hair and did it ~ IN a cJduet-
ish knot. The artist selected a
vantage point from which he COM
menced rapid sketch.
Have a cigarette?" said Weber.
as the finishing touches were COM
pleted, and passing over a box of
Egyptians he selected one himself
and announced that he was ready
to talk art.
Before touching upon that topic,
Mr.. Weber" / said, there is a
question should like to ask. / have
always wanted TO know what the
proprietor of theater really thought
of newspaper criticism For instance,
did you ever writhe under the play
notices of Life" in the Weber and
Fields days when the critic labeled
your performances high class vau-
deville at robber prices?'''
mot writhe," he replied,
quickly. you mean Metcalf. No.
indeed. Metcalf and 1 took a drink
together whenever we met. You
will remember he said the shows
were good. He never knocked the
quality of our performances.
didn't mind what he said about the
price as long as he gave us credit
for running good shows. He came
to me one day and kicked about the
spectators in front Well, If you
stop to think about it you only
find spectators around houses that
the people want TO get into. told
him l would give him my personal
check for $1,000. certified by the
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-10-08

capital for a weeks engagement.
When he was here before he played
this city as one-night stand.
How do you think the show will
take here?" he inquired, after the
first greeting was concluded. Pref
ty hot for a first night" he added,
meditatively. Excuse me a min
ute while | take a peep at the win
dow and get line on the crowd"
Before entering upon discus
sion of art, mir Weber" / said,
(which is the theme on which
am hoping to secure a page talk
from you, l must warn you that
what you say will be taken down
and used against you next Sunday"
That's all right" he replied, in
his quick, jerky style of talking.
81 don't know what you are driv-
ing at, but come Dack after the
first act and III talk to you about
anything you want. I'm not afraid.
The papers always treat me all
right. They know I'm giving a
square show, and / get credit for
It,
That's always been my rule" he
added, with a side glance at the
crowd that choked the entrance.
When I've advertised a certaia.
actor to appear in a show, he's
there If he gets sick or anything
l hang out sign saying so and
then the crowd isn't disappointed.
Suppose somebody was coming to
my theater in New York to see Joe
Weber- When they see him they
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-10-08

theme, and as Mr. Weber had n.
moved the paint and settled down
TO a cigarette, / began to mentally
frame Up some leading questions.
Just then there was loud and per-
emptory knock at the door and q
stern voice yelled at us to "cut out
that smoking"
''Oh, very WE'LL" observed Weber,
with a grimace, tossing the EYE
tian into the corner.
Il don't suppose they will run a
in for violating the anti-smoke law"
AS he slipped into his street cloth
ing I commented on his MUSCULAR
development He Is slight. but well
built, and has the muscles ct an ath-
lete.
That's the result Of my work a
a knock-about comedian" he ex-
planned. when Fields and start
ed out we did some pretty regular
and scientific stage tumbling. That's
still true Of my shows as you have
probably noticed. I worked hard
all through the evening and my mus
cles get plenty Of exercise"
''You might write a book on the
subject" l suggested, "and call Is
Comedy as developer of Muscles
By J. Morris Weber"
That's all right, except the name.n
he replied. Il dropped the j. Nor
ris' some time ago. Call me joe
just plain Joe Weber"
l was impressed by Webers
evidently genuine concern regarding
the success Of his first night in
Washington His company mana
ger, brother, and several friends
dropped in for a chat while he was
concluding his toilet. To each he
put the same question in an anxious
tone, How did it take?" and was
evidently much pleased TO hear
favorable reports.
Il should think you would be pret-
ty confident Of success" l remarked.
Especially since the show caught On
well in New Yerl You are the last
man 1 would suspect OF being ner-
vous about a success on the road"
You can't tell" said Weber.
There are lots of local hits in the
lines that are lost TO an audience out
side New York And the College
Widower' makes a better success
with a crowd that has seen the origi-
nal play that we are Duriesquing.
have been producing SHOWS for
great many years, but l have never
gotten over a feeling Of nervous
ness in first nights, no matter if it's
in New York or on the road"
Weber had finished dressing so |
rose to leave.
Have you got enough for pager"
he inquired.
Not on art" l admitted.
well those drawings the artist
has been making ought to take up
lot of room"
They WILL" l replied, in burst
of confidence. But at the expense of
my cherished ambition. "Geod-by."
"Good-by." he answered cordially,
with a handshake that recalled his
remarks about his early athletic
training. Don't forget to cali me
Joe Weber,
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-10-08

dry subject / wish could offer
you something TO drink. VIII you
join me in d glass of Potomac
water?"
There was only one glass and
that was a large one. So we COM
promised by sharing it between us.
we had just concluded this reck-
less dissipation when Weber's call
was given and he dashed out, call
ing over his shoulder TO await his
return. A moment later loud APP
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-10-08

bank, whenever he suggested any
scheme that would stop ticket spec
ulating. Well, he never claimed the
five."
Speaking Of art. Mr.. Weber"
/ suggested, as a starter.
I'D rather talk theater," he said.
nervously. "Of course | like oil
paintings and bric-a-brac and all
that sort of thing. And sometimes
buy a few specimens. But art is
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-10-08
.[f[Rz&AGN][HZ MORSE

Marie Dressler Commencing us
to her care. Weber returned to the
footlights.
/ liked Miss Dressler the moment
she shook hands. She was suffer
ing from a bad headache, but il did
not spoil her conversational ability
any more than it had her acting
She had her eyes on everything
while she kept up running fire of
bright chat. As the girls passed
from the dressing rooms to the
stage she had an encouraging word
for each and addressed them all by
name
1 commented on the attractive
chorus.
They're all right said Miss
Dressler And good girls, too. l
wish you knew what they are like.
Somebody ought to write the real
story of the chorus girls life 1t
would be a revelation to those wo-
men out there in the boxes. You
see that little girl in tights over
there? Well, she's got little baby
and an invalid husband She does
not make enough to keep servant,
so when we're in New York she
cooks the meals and keeps house.
She goes home at night worn out,
but she's up and through with
breakfast in time to get to the
theater at 8 o'clock for rehearsal.
You know what temptations there
are on every side and how easily
she might lead a life. of luxury.
Well, don't you think she deserves
more credit for keeping straight
than the finest lady In the land?"
1t was hard to realize that this big
hearted woman, who spoke so
earnestly and affectionately of the
humble chorus girls of the COM
pany-who had a kind word or
caress for them all--was the bois-
ferrous, staggering actress whose
breezy wit had convulsed the audi
ence a moment before. And as she
talked she kept her hands pressed
to her throbbing head
When the curtain was rung down
for the last time I cornered Weber
in his dressing room and called his
attention to the fact that art had
been grievously neglected during
the evening.
Didn't you and Fields class your
selves as opponents of art, even if
not in its esthetic expression?" 1
pleaded. Moreover, why did you
scrap with Lew F1elds?"
There's nothing to that scrap
story" retorted Weber, vigorously.
isn't the fact that we played to-
gether twenty-six years sufficient
proof that we got along all right OF
course there are quarrels even in
the best regulated families, and there
were bound to be minor ones in the
Weber and Fields family. But when
we disagreed it was because of diff
ferences of opinion on business mat
tiers. We separated because we
thought we could Go better by each
running his own show. We are
now, as we always have been, very
good friends"
l could see that the conversation
was not drifting toward the desired
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-10-08

plause announced his arrival on
the stage and the artist and myself
walked out behind the scenery to
hear the fun.
i had always heard that the We
Der show carried a pretty bunch of
girls. / can confirm the story. They
sat around behind the scenery
some perched on trunks and
benches, others sitting on the steps
leading up to the big dressing
room-and chatted merrily. Some
were dressed in football toys, some
in male attire, and still more in
tights. But they were all good to
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-10-08
glass busily engaged in making up

look upon The paint and make
up covered, but could not conceal.
their natural beauty. They cast
curious glances at the two strang-
ers wandering aimlessly about TAX
Ing an occasional bashful peep in
their direction They themselves
We're not at all embarrassed.
After few minutes Weber came
on for a breathing spell. AS he
stood chatting with us a stout fig
ure came up and we found our
serves being introduced to Miss
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-10-08

may be disappointed. / can't help
that. But they see me, or else
there's notice in front that I am
not on for the night"
Mr.. Weber wandered about the
lobby like lost soul until the over
ture was concluded. He slipped be-
tween the throngs of late-comers
entirely unnoticed. The show was
well on before he hurried back to
his dressing room.
Accompanied by the artist /
found him there an hour later
before glass busily engaged in
making up for his appearance in
THE College Widower." He was
daubing his face with little black
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-10-08

and spoke of art. He did not Sc
lect the subject. 1t was forced
upon him. And sandwichhed in
between his dissertation on higher
things he discussed his twenty
eight years behind the footlights
and his break with Lew Fields.
/ found him in the box Office ten
minutes before the curtain went up
on the frst performance he has
given in Washington for ten years
and his initial appearance in the
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-10-08

IT DE WEBER perched him
self upon a trunk exactly
twice his size last Monday
night in his dressing room
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-05-20
Boys and Girls, Make Money.

When selecting business or a profession
for life 1t Is worth while to think very care
fully what you can do best and what you
would most of all like to do. But there are
times for almost every girl and boy when
they wish they could do some little things
in spare half hours to make spending
money. The question then is, What do peo-
pie want done? OF course, there are gar
dens to make in the spring and paths to
shovel in winter. But anybody can do that,
and those jobs come only at odd times.
What is there that is always needing to be
done that you can do and that not many
persons are trying to do?
Well here is one suggestion: Be the
neighborhood mender. First, get a bottle
of cement and bottle of glue, some sand
paper, putty, a small box of paints and a
little varnish. Hunt up everything about
the house that needs mending and practice
upon it-toys. furniture, china and glass
ware, book covers, picture frames, and so
forth. Mend them as skilfully as you can,
and then get some boy with a printing press
to run off fifty business cards for you, an
nouncing that you will neatly and promptly
repair broken articles of every description
naming them. Distribute your cards
either by hand by mail and then call
regularly every week to what work
there is for you. AS you become more
skillful you can charge enough to make a
neat little income. In this as we'll as any
other enterprise, you will need pluck. pa
thence and perseverance. Command these
three. and success is yours.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-05-20
THE ANIMAL GOBLIN.
BY G. II. SHOREY.

The Coon and the Bunny Rabbit had
played so many jokes on the Bullfrog he
began to think it was about time to do a
little joking himself
Now, Bullfrog was not very smart not
nearly as tricky as the Coon Rabbit, but
he was very good friends with Bob Crow
who lived near by, and he went to him for
help-the Crow being smarter than all the
animals put together.
1t just happened that no one came along
at the time, or they might have seen Bob
Crow ana Builfrog with their heads very
ciose together and both talking in whispers
Shortly after they parted the Chipmunk
carried a message from the Frog to the
coon and Rabbit, asking them to come
down and see him. Having nothing else
to do, they started. AS they went along
the lane they planned several new Jokes to
play on Bulfrog.
Coming to the little bridge over the brook
where the Frog lived, they whlsted long
and loud for him, but heard never sound
in reply.
Maybe he's down at the bottom of the
brook, visiting the Turtle said the Coon,
giving final whistle.
They walked on the bridge, and were
about to cross over, when they saw hid
eous-looking creature sitting on a stone.
1t was shaped something like a toad but
was covered with feathers. Some of these
stuck out from the head like a fan. while
others formed disreputable-lookin tail.
Occasionally the queer thing would groan,
and they could only see its eyes glare
The Coon and Bunny commenced to trem-
BILE, for they felt pretty sure this was some
kind of an animal goblin, and for fear it
would gobble them up, or. rather, down.
they turned and ran as hard they could
go up the lane.
OF course, all the animals they happened
to meet wanted to know what the trouble
was, and when told they hurried off to tell
the others, and in a short time long pro-
cession, headed by the Coon and Rabbit.
and with the Mooley Cow and Field Mouse
and her little boy bringing up the rear
went down to the brook.
The wonderful and dreadful creature still
sat in the same spot and was still giving
vent to mournful grunts.
The Mooley Cow was so scared at the
sight of the creature that she hoisted her
tail and, with a wild snort, clattered up
the lane, followed by all the other animals,
including the Coon and Rabbit.
The last two animals decided to consult
the OWL who was supposed to know every
thing.
So the Coon climbed up in the old. hollow
tree where the owl lived, while Bunny. not
being able to climb, stayed down at the
bottom.
the Coon, and. after asking him number
of questions, he sat for some time thinking.
The Coon busted himself in the meantime
throwing down pieces of bark on the Rab-
bit, who had fallen asleep at the bottom of
the tree.
"Coony," said the Owl, after a time. ''can
you say 'Quacki' like duck? Let me hear
you"
So Coony said "Quack!" the very best he
could. and the Owl said he did first-rate.
Then he told Coony to get all the animals,
if he could, to go once more to the bridge.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-05-20
Washing Day.

Did you wonder how it came about that
in our country all families think they must
do their washing on Monday? Always on
Monday?
In Europe it is the fashion to have one
great wash day a few times a year instead
of once a week as we do in America. The
people there laugh at us and say we are
forever over the wash tub Perhaps We
are-we come rightly enough by it. What
do you suppose the first thing our pilgrim
forefathers and foremothers did when they
reached the shores of the new continent?
The Mayfower drifted into Massachusetts,
bay and lay at anchor outside in little
sheltered cove. The fathers had gone
ashore to see if there was place suitable
for landing. The morning was Monday
and it seemed that the old-fashioned desire
to tidy up came over the hearts of the
good housekeeping women of the little
band.
What fine place to do our washing,
there in that little cove" said one of them.
Yes, yesr' cried all the others. There
are Baby Peregrine's dresses said Baby
Peregrine's mother.
And Oceanus' blanket" said Baby Ocean
u.s. mother. (Both these babies had been
born at sea-
All the women who had babies agreed,
and all the women who had not, offered to
help those who had so the washing was
gotten together. The women were rowed
to shore, and in the cold. salty water of the
bay this Monday in November, 162o, the
first ladies in America washed and scrubbed
in good English fashion No doubt when
the forefathers discovered what they We're
doing they helped, too. Fires were built,
water heated and clothes spread out on the
trees and snow. When all was finished to
the satisfaction of the women they sighed
with pleasure and said, "Cleanliness is akin
to goodness"
Do you know this is history? Yes, 1t Is,
though not as dry as history sometimes is.
ANYTHING is history that shows the spirit
of the times, and this wash day in America
showed the spirit of the first arrivals Every
time we refer to Monday as wash day, we
are unconsciously concentrating TINS
event.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-05-20
A Game of Guessing.

The trolley car was pretty full one day
when a mother and four children entered.
The smallest one had to be carried; the
largest one was just able to reach strap,
and the other two held fast to this older
sister. Room was made for the mother to
sit down, but the three girls evidently en-
joyed being pushed and tossed as the car
Iurched and jerked. Presently good-na-
tured woman took the smallest of these tots
upon her lap, and then drew the next one
up toward me to let her lean against my
knees. She must have been about seven.
I'm going to guess your name, began.
She looked at me shyly, but smiled I
went on II think it is Miss Laura Shy
Eyes"
She laughed a little. then looked more
serious as she said: My sisters name is
Laura"
I guessed again all the names of girls L
could think Of from Ada to Winifred. Miss
Shy Eyes laughed gayly. and at each name
she shook her head.
Haven't 1 had the first name right
once?" asked.
mo not once" she answered. Then l
begged her to tell me the first letter.
~" she said-'tthe first letter is j. And
there was mischievous look in her eyes.
I guessed again all the names could re-
call commencing with that letter-Jane,
Janet. Jemima, Joan, Josephine. Julia, Ju-
lief Judith, Jennie, and finally Jill.
..Wrong-all wrong" said little Shy Eyes.
Won can't guess it. 1 know you can't
guess it. -
lust then the mother rose to go, and my
little friend started but turned quickly
back and with a merry. ringing laugh salo:
my name is Juanito
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-05-20
PLAYING Scout.

Rows and girls who live in the country,
and those from the city who will visit in the
country this summer. may have great sport
playing scout. The only thing necessary is
a patch of woods
ANY of the counting OUT plans may be
used to see who will be Indians and who
will be scout. Those who are counted out
are Indians and the last one left is the
scout.
When everything is ready the scout hides
his eyes to count 200. while the Indians
scamper off through the woods and hide.
1t must be agreed, of course, that no one
shall go beyond certain limits.
The scout may set out on his search with
a shout and rush, or he may steal along
noiselessly hoping to surprise the Indians.
To be caught Indian has only to be
seen. The scout calls his name, and the In
dian must come in a prisoner. However.
a prisoner may do all he can to throw the
scout off the trail.
When all the Indians have been spied the
one who was caught first must be scout,
and he hides his eyes and counts while the
others run away again as Indians. Each
game starts at the SPOT where the last In
dian is captured A whole half day may be
delightfully."- spent in the woods at this
game.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-05-20
on down ontwel di. time. yit dem iii 1n1un

on down ontwel dis time, yit dem lii Injun
boys is still stuck fas' in de sky.
EFF you'll look up dar now you kin see
EN-, all ciost togerr. 'scusin de yo1ngeses'
one; he so iii an his laigs so shawl dat
he got lef' behine de res and dat huccome
he ain right wild EN-. Ell you look sharp
you kin see 'em shootin' a arrer now an
den: you'll know dat by de twinkle.
Dish yer tale orter iarn you dat stump n
sho' ter happen ter chilien whar IS lazy an
cross an sassy ter de growed-ups. Dey
boun' ter git stuck fas som ers, dough
mebbe 'twon't be in de sky. l has knowed
sech chillen ter git fasten ter de baidpost
er lock- up in de closet. Tain so fur
Always, but hit seem ter arnser de puppus, ;"
and here she looked meaningly at Wi
YUM who wah in disgrace for having run
off and stayed all day at the CROSSROADS
store without leave.
She rolled her eyes up toward the stars
again and said musingly, Il lax ter know
how many er dem oil tales bout de stars
IS true. eff dey ain true. who 'twuz dat
fus got up de stories. Mus a bin long.
long time ago. fer no pusson seem ter year
nuttin' lax dat desc days
The children asked if there were other
stories about the stars.
Deed, dat dey is" she answered. Dad
dy knowed a heap bout de mawning' star
an de evenin star an a lot Nv urrs, but
KANT rightly call 'em ter min l don
spec I'd 'a'membered dis un eff Wi-yum's
gwines on ain putt me in de min NV hit:
Seem lax you KANT git so far back in de
OF times but wat you year tell bout norty
chillen, jes' de same ez in dis day an GIN
Grafton; de crap nuver falls ner' gins OUT,
W atuver else gifts sea- &C..