The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-12-31
New York Press.)

Gdsl year, SAID the west SIDE man
again, 1--WE had the queen of cooks.
| She had come recently from the heart
| of Europe, where cooks do not regu-
late the domestic economy Of the coun-
try as they do here She did not know
| her rights. and we basely took advan-
| tage of 1t and breathed. She was too
! good to be true. To be sure, when she
| came to us all she could cook was leb-
kuehen and lutfisk; but my wife had
| taught her until Katrina became an
artist in chicken croquettes. Her PURGE
always made a hit with company and
her Goldfish balls a la Katrina were
| hard to beat.
well, Christmas came along, and we
| felt that we owed Katrina something.
| My wife said: Poor girl! She is all
alone in this country. She has no one
to give her presents. We must make
ii up to her. Besides, we wanted TO
make her happy and contented so she
would stay with us.
$50 my wife bought her near-saal
| jacket that bore an almost startling
resemblance TO the real thing. | got
| her a $3.50 watch, the kind that pins
on outside. The girls took her measure
| and bought her a brand new ready
| made silkolene dress and the boys I'm
ished up the outfit with a large hat
| those things last Christmas morning
she forgot she was in America. The
manners of her native land came back
to her. and she courtesied and kissed
my wifes hand and then came around
and wanted to kiss mine, only | would
not have It. The tears came In her
eyes and we almost cried. too, to think
how good and kind we'd been, and
when she went out to bring in the
waff1es we looked at each other III SOL
emn Joy and said: We've got her
solid. She'll never leave US now
"Well, New Years eve the Lithuanian
Pan-Slav Pleasure and Political sOcie-
| ty gave ball. and Katrina asked leave
TO go. We couldn't refuse her; but
say! When Katrina sailed into that
| hall in her near-silk and near-seal
cloak and near-gold watch and pic
| ture hat she caused a sensation. She
made a hit. She was the belle of the
ball. Masculine Lithunians and Pan
Slavs surrounded her and one of them
saw her home. He was a we'll fixed
butcher with shop on Avenue A, and
before the happy New Year was
month old our Katrina had left us for
ever. Since then my stomach has been
| the battle-ground for four dozen cooks. q"
y
eff people would only study you a
little and give you something that fit
ted your needs and character"
| mourned a certain married business
woman, "how much more satisfactory
and complimentary Christmas presents
would be, and how much waste Of
money would be saved at Christmas
time. Now last year had good reason
to expect a very nice present from
some rich friends of mine. I had been
able to do them favor which was
very welcome to them. They couldn't
give me money. but from a tiny hint
l knew they intended to make it up to
me Christmas, and as they were well
able to do it, I Rugged my soul in con-
temptation of something extra nice,
which I could take without feeling
that it had cost the giver a sacrifice.
Now, II so happens that / haven't
| a single good piece of jewelry, and
never have had in my life. / make my
own money, but my tastes are extrav-
agant in certain lines. l must own
books, must have a certain amount OF
theatre and opera, and I must travel
a little every year. These things take
all the spare cash we can afford, and I
have always felt that l couldn't spend
any money on jewelry or let Jack
spend it for me. for I'm just as careful
of Jacks money as ] am of my own.
We save something every year, and we
calculate exactly what we can afford
to spend in luxuries. Nevertheless, I
would like TO have a pretty diamond
sunburst or a handsome diamond ring
just as well as any woman Somehow
I had got my mind made up that that
was what my plutocratic friends would
send me.
We'll, when it came, it was a big
box Of perfectly elegant solid silver.
simply cried with disappointment. You
know Jack and / are BOhemians. We
never entertain formally. If any one
ever eats at our house it is just some
one who sits down and takes pot luck
with us, and wouldn't mind If they ate
with steel case knives. When we go
on our little sprees We go to a good
restaurant or the theatre. There that
box of silver is, locked In the trunk!
We have never had ii out but once
Then some folks came up to have some
Welsh rarebit one Saturday night after
the show, and we took out the box and
opened it and propped 1t up against
the wall, just to show them we had
some silver. I'd like to sell it. but
feel that's a little too bad: and there
the stupid thing lies. with all that good
money locked up in it,"
''I put in a very profitable episode
studying my Wife's character last
Christmas" said man who smokes
You see. I've got a meerschaum
that 1 have used so many years that
few people care to stay in the same
room with it. II is an artistic color
now, and the joys of coloring a new
one began to weigh on me. / decided
to buy me a new pipe, something fine
and artistic, with carvings OH the bowl
you know; something to cost about
1880
"Well. 1 told my wife Of my inten-
ton, and she pooh-poohed the idea
She said two OF the evil-smelling
things around the house was too much
She said IL was foolish to put so much
money into pipe and that the old one
was good enough, anyway
1T made me feel pretty sore and as
the days went on toward Christmas !
brooded over 1t and got sorer every
day. / thought OF all the bills I'd paid
for her and how few Injuries I in
dulged In, and how she wasn't willing
i should have new pipe after so
many years. I finally decided that I
wouldn't buy her any Christmas pres
ent. I'd just go down to breakfast
Christmas morning and say sarcas-
tically that / had decided I'd got TO
economize. l couldn't afford TO buy
myself pipe. and l couldn't afford TO
buy her a present.
We'll Christmas morning came, and
] went down to breakfast all right but
the sarcasm didn't flow. There on my