New-York tribune., 1905-07-31
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Georgia negress, Miss Burroughes, made an ad-
drsss at Hyde Park London. recently at one OF tne
meetings OF the Baptist WORLDS congress- ohe
attracted considerable attention by some OF ner
quaint expressions and stories Among Hei
oratorical gems were the ronoWins'
TITS useless 10 telegraph TO heaven for csreioaos
OF blessings. and then not to be on the wharf to
unload them when they arrive"
''The church at my home. where belong. Is SO
small that you have 20 go out to turn round ou'
It makes Baptists. all the same
"At a revival meeting down in Georgia so ruch
noise was made that the neighbors were somewhat
annoyed One asked his cook. Mary VINO
was present at the meeting to tell the pastor next
time that SO much noise was quite unnecessary.
Have you not heard he said. how the beautiful
Temple of Solomon built without noise% Yes,
boss replied Mary, I know. but We amt near
ready yet 10 build our temple; we're Just blasting
the rock That's the reason of the noise
THE HORROR OF THE HOOP.
Mabel has slender "fgger'
Like. the pole that tTInes the bean
Mabei saow5 5oS PqS but on sehs
When my arm about her loops
She will keep at a distance
When she wears those awful hoops.
Thinking OF that CHASTITY day;
MabeTs skirts wilLsOon resemble
'stSndins room viii then be posted
E,very nerve viii be exhausted
Getting Mabel through door
Then won't evenings be lonely
On my darlingS fair front stoop'!
1 must hv for therell be only
Room for MabeI-and her hoop.
And in what Unearthly Alden
with a rare and sainted maiden
Half way through gas balloon?
Aye. forsooth twill take wide walk
Mabel not to discommode-
l must weep out in the road;
Mabel heed this fearful carol.
Rolled about inside of hoopsl
Scotch student preparing for examination.
had been told by his coach. according 10 'The
Dundee Advertiser" TO be sure Of knowing all the
kings of Israel and Judah But, to the students
dismay he was not asked single question about
the kings. Instead, the examiner asked him 10
distinguish between the major ard minor prophets.
The student had a happy thought. He replied: I
prefer not to discriminate between major and
minor prophets. 1t would be invidious. They were
all good men. Let rather tell you the kings Of
Israel and Judah!
You sign this deed Of your own free WILL do
What do YOU mean by that%' demanded the
large red-faced woman.
part of your husband, has there"
she eaSTaf1ed ns tsFhtn & to I9f s IKE as te5 70
him try to compulse me-"-Qondon Iit-Bits'
There is a monopoly on one of the isles of the
Pacific that works in curious way. One man has
the exclusive right TO catch bait in net or the
coast of the island. Fishing is the only thing TO do
on the island, all the other inhabitants de-
pendent upon this He has the habit OF
getting intoxicated and then, all the rest
have to remain idle until he sobers up enough TO
catch bait for them
About Time-Father (of large family)-Nly dear
isn't it about time you were thinking Of getting
married?
Daughter-Heavens! haven't thought OF any
thing else for years.-Qllustrated Bits.
The Editor of "The kildare (Okla.) Herald'' Is
getting desperate: THE publisher of this paper
don't care whether kildare has a newspaper or not
A newspaper is a good thing for live town. but
cannot bs run on wind and a few subscriptions
This paper hasn't received enough patronage in the
last six months 10 pay the postage IT, and will
be compelled to quit. 1t is bad thing for a town
TO sarve out it's enterprises. II there isn't some
thing done about this right away this will be the
last publication of this paper"
He-I only knew that love you
She-Oh dear! thought you knew all about an
automobile, too!-CSmart Set.