The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1905-07-08
GUS


can't always make the automobile run,
though. Town and Country.
I'VE don't hear you sing nowadays,
Miss Edith. MY physician has strictly
forbidden me to practice" Does he
I've In your neighborhoodT p
Mrs. Henpeck-And you call your
self a man? Mr.. Henpeck-Ce Certainly,
my dear, that is-er-if you will per-
NIT me to.-Fliegende Batter.
Jenktns--You don't seem to bother
much about the future. Lightley-
No, that never worries me until it be.
comes the present.--Exchange. FL
Mrs. Wise-How do you like the
new nurse girl? Mr.. Wise-Great.
Mrs. Wtse-I thought SO. That's why
fred her this neutrality-suspicious.
Globe. ..t&
Deacon Jones-In the better land
everything will be made known. Mrs.
Prye-Won't that be fine! I've always
wondered how old Sarah Wilson was.
Boston Transcript.
"Ah," said the little girl who was
being filed with culture, "see the car
penter brawny building the house
beautiful with his hands sklllful. =
Chicago Record Herald.
You are as full Of airs as a hand
organ" said young man to a girl
who refused to let him see her home
THAT may be-" was the reply, "but
don't go with a crank"
Here, take this riflev cried the ex-
cited Snowman; ''the leopard has es-
capped. If you find him shoot him on
the spot" (which s-spot, sir2" gasped
the green employe.-Exchange.
The Niece-Weren't you shocked,
uncle, when you heard that Harry had
died and left me widow? The
Uncle-Well, no. That's about all l
ever expected he would leave you.
Judge-You say you were alone
when you committed the robbery
Nitro Bill-Yes, yer honor. allus does
me little Jobs alone. When we've got
pal it's ten ter one he turns out dis
uOneSL.-Juu&e.
Little Willie-I say, pa, what Is an
empty title? pam empty title, my
son, is your mothers way Of referring
to me as the head Of the house when
there are visitors present.-Glasgow
Evening Times.
"I'm sure / saw a cat over in that
corner" said Tommy, sitting up in bed.
mo, dear; go to Sleep" said his moth
er; ut was just Imagination" HAS
Imagination got shiny eyesY-Phila-
delphia Ledger.
Mother-Ethel, you naughty child,
what have you been doing to make
Charley cry SO? Ethel-I've only been
sharing my cod-nver oil with him,
dear mamma. You said 1t was so nice.
|-Harper's Bazaar.
For goodness sake! What's that
noise?' The girl next door is having
her voice cultivated" Huh! Appar-
emily the process of cultivation has
reached the narrowing season.
Philadelphia Press.
II have just been officiating at a
wooden wedding on the West Side
said the parson. Combating" quer-
led the puzzled friend. EYES," ex-
planned the good man. 81 married g
couple of es"-Chicago News.
Fweddie-That creature actually
told me to mind my own business,
y'know! Cholly-The imperunent
wretch! Fweddie-Positively insult
ing. As If to insinuate, don't y'know
that l was in business.-Cleveland
Leader.
Bleeker-My congratulations on
YOUR marriage with the charming
widow, old man. knew you called
on her occasionally, but I had no idea
you intended to marry. Meeker-
Neither did until she had it all ar
ranged.
Uncle George have read your ar
tIcle over, and must say 1t shows
great deal Of originality. Arthur
Thanks, I'm sure! l dattered myself
there were some ideas in 1t. Uncle
George-Oh, I was not speaking OF the
composition, but Of the spelling!
Nephew-Uncle, I'm in love with
the dearest girl in all the world. She
has golden hair, blue eyes, the whites'
Of teeth and agure- Uncle Qnter
rupting)-My dear boy, / really cam
consent to your marrying her unless
she has ave figures, at the least
Brooklyn Life.
First Passcnger-Wouid you b.
good enough to lend me your specta
cles a moment2 Second Passenger
Certainly, sir, with pleasure. Firs
Passenger-Oh, thanks. Now as yot
can no longer read your newspaper
will you please have the kindness tt
mass it over to meT
Boys Essay on Breath: Breath Il
made of air. We breathe always with
our lungs, except at night, when. oul
breath keeps life going through ou
noses while we are asleep. Boys tina
stay in a room all day shouldn'
breathe. They should wait till theJ
get out doors"
Two old men were always contra
dieting and deriding one another
H.. A.. h. b.