The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-14


head.)
HUM0R OF THE DzY
what asked Miss EIderleigh, did
papa say when you asked him for re2's
He didn't say anything. He fell on
my neck and wept. Chicago Record
Herald.
Nell-oh. myl Here's a telegram from
Jack, of the football team. NeIl-WhaE
does it say? Nell-It says, Nose broken.
How do you prefer it set Greek or Ro-
man2"-Exchange.
Kind LADY" remarked the weary
so8ethinr to- ae you eSg &c tine me %l5a
shed and take a few chops" replied the
kind 1ady.-Philadelphia Record
Mrs. Jawback-George. you haven't
been TO church with me since we were
Mr.. Jawbaclz-A burnt child breads the
fire.-Cleveland Leader.
would hunt round 'twei dey Eotched
Misery and started her in de sideshoN
business. atlanta Constitution.
Bills-It takes a cool head for that
mans business.
Wills-What does he do?
Philadelphia Evening Telegraph.
Physieian-Your ailment lies in the
ia T3aoiist thorax and epiglottis
thinking tn trouble was in me throat
English Standard Magazine.
Aren't you proud to be a servant Of
Yes, answered the government Off
cial who has to economic. I'm proud,
although I must confess I have 4 boss
that is rather slow about lifting salaries
w ashington Star.
Knieker-so Jones has planned a model
Bocker-Yes. the ianftor lives on fhe
top floor, 50 the steam Is always on and
the elevator always running.-New York
Sun
Are you fond Of riding, Miss Gothame''
very MI Chunpleigh- Why don't you
Christmas ympathy.-HaroId-s got a
dreadful fall-all these Christmas bundles
fall on the bundles?''-Puck.
7 met Dqmley to-day for the frst time
'Oh! he hasn't changed at ALL but he
doesn't seem to realize it, How do you
mean?' OH he's forever talking about
what a fool he used to be.''-Glasgow
Evening Times.
there?" asked the grocer. g Fresh eggs, .
replied the new clerk Make it Fresh
the eggs were fresh when they were
laid" Exactly; and that's all that it's
safe for us to say about them. ''-Phils-
deiphia Press
Guest Cat house warming parity
That's Congressman Begun, one OF our
catch that fellow Of his base. He knows
what the people think about public ques-
tions. He always has his ear to the
stranger-His ear certainly looks like
it.-Chieago Tribune.
Yes" said the political boss, wen
have to give Crookley- this nomination
But" protested the neOphyte, why
not Goodley7 He's better able to I'LL the
Perhaps. but CrookIey is better able to
get it. '-Philadelphia Catholic Standard.
Your appalling ignorance interests me.
For the sake of the experience I'd give
800 to be as big fool as you are for
yes. and the rest of your life you
could boast of having had one lucid in-
terval. '-cleveland Leader.
Teler-'Do you have honest elections
here?" Native-'Sure. We fellers always
vote as we're paid. Brooklyn Life.
doctor" said the STRENGTHENING man,
how many feet Of gas does it take to
kill a. mann
That's rather q queer question, re-
Piled the doctor. why do you wish to
zone of the guests at my hotel used
enough of it to kill himself, and I want
to send in proper bill TO his executors
Mrs. Gayman-But men are so deceitful.
Mrs. 0ldboy-Oh. no; they're not. They
only think they are. They don't deceive
US one bit-Chicago Tribune.
do you have malaria in Crimson
gulchg inquired the stranger.
NO answered Three-fingered Sam.
so tough that they go ahead an drink
without offerin any excuses whatever
Washington Post.
..See here said the lady, you told
me that work would only cost me s13
and there you We sent in a bill for $14.D
Yes m, replied the carpenter, you
see. when come to think the thing
night be superstitious about that b.
philadelphia Press.
II envy you.8 declared AIuchpop.
why SOP" inquired Nokids.
Because you haven't children. A more
husband cuts no ice with children Ia tha
house You at least occupy some place
n your wife's scheme of life"
"Oh, I don't know" was the ruefuI re-
iponse. She has a couple OF rubber
1lants. Louisville Courier-JournaI.
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
EFroln the Philadelphia Record.1
The test of fame is the parody.
It's all right to take your own time
bout things, but don't take other peo-
lies.
Tho s,fel7av e.7,4., 49,, 49,