The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-05-05

looking back for fear one Of the men
or women would slit me up the back
with a butcher knife, and laugh like
an insane asylum inmate.
Do you know, those people who
drink gin and go hungry are different
from our American murderers. Our
murderers will assault you with a
smile, rob you with a joke on their
tongues end, and give you back car
fare when they hold you up, and II
they murder you they will do it easy
and lay you out with your hands
across on your breast and notify the
coroner, but your White Chapel muir
derer wants to disembowel you and
cut you up into chunks, and throw
your remains head first into something
nasty, and if you have money enough
on your person to buy a bottle of gin.
your murderer is as we'll satisfied as
though he got a roll. Some men in our
country commit murders in order to
get money to lay away so they can live
a nice, respectable life and be good
ever afterwards, but your slum muir
derer in London just kills because his
stomach Graves a drink, and when he
gets it he is tame, like a tiger that
has eaten native of India.
You may think this letter is solemn
occasion because l tell you about
things that are not funny, but If you
ever travelled abroad you will find that
there is no fun anywhere except in
America unless you make it or buy it.
We are taking in the solemn things
first in order to get dads mind in a
condition so he can be cured of things
he thinks all him. l took dad to the
Tower of London, ard when we got
out of it he wanted to have America
interfere and have the COMPOUNDED
place burned down and grass soWn on
the site and a park made of it,
The tower covers Is acres of ground,
and there are more things brought to
a visitors attention that ought to be
forgotten than you ever thought about
l remember attending the theater at
home and seeing Richard the Third
played, and remember how my SYM
pathies were aroused for the two little
boy princes that were murdered by
Richard the Third, but l thought it
was fake play, and that there was
nothing true about it, but, by gosh, it
was right here in the Tower of Lon
don that the old hump-backed cuss
murdered those little princes, and dad
and l stood right on the spot, and the
beef-eater who showed us around told
US all the particulars. Dad was in
dignant, and said to the beef-eater:
do you mean to tell me you stood
around and let Richard kill those
princes without uttering protest or
protecting them or ringing for the po-
lice? BY the great hornspoon, you
must have been accessory to the fact,
and you ought to be arrested and
hung" and dad pounded his cane on
the stone floor and looked savage.
The beef-eater got red in the face
and said: Begging your pardon, don't
you know, but hi was not ere at the
time. This history was made six 'un-
bred years ago."
Dad begged the mans pardon and
told him he supposed the boys were
murdered year or two ago, and he
gave the beef-eater dollar, and he
was so gratified think he would have
had a murder committed for dad right
there and then if dad had insisted on
it.
You feel in going through the tower
like you was in an American slaughter
= l.,
queens were beheaded by the dozen.
They showed us axes that were used
to behead people, and blocks that the
heads of the victims were laid on, and
the places where the heads fell on the
floor. 1t seemed that in olden times
when king or queen got too gay,
the anti-kings or queens would go to
the palace and catch the king or queen
in the act, and take them by the neck