New-York tribune., 1905-04-26
DOWN IN INDIANA.


What is the Dead March sounding for?" said
said
And what about the cigarette?" said Author-on-
THE legislature knocked it out" the Hoosier poet
The dainty corn husk wrappers they are burn
The fragrant corn silk filters are ablaze in bon
There aren't many dope sticks in the whole
And the few that's left will vanish in the morn
ing'
What are the writer's now to do?" said Author
Wen have to try the corncob pipe" the HOosier
Il can not smoke horrid pipe" said Author-on-
Parade,
Then You must smoke cigars or chew" the Hooser
poet said
For the cigarettes are going; we must chase
They're pinching every fellow who Is captured
The coffin nails are gong-we can paste that in
And the few that's left will vanish in the morn
ing"
What's that 50 black against the SUM-" said
THE smoke Of stogies and cheroots," the Hoosier
Wen lose inspiration now" said Author-on-
wen have to smoke another brand" the Hooser
While writing future novels we'll have to bear
The hero, In his smoking room. no matter how
Must never. never roll pill but like some COM
have MS little pipe or baccy the
-(Milwaukee Sentinel.
The German daily General AnzeIger' publishes
an editorial announcement that in future two of
It's daily editions will be printed in ink which will
not injure amy meat or butter which housewives
may wrap in the paper.
THE COAL TAR LEMON PIE.
.edss pure Is6S food liz eqmmlssi0n nss Chicago recently
T0nten neither lsmgn butter nor ThO principal
News Item Wins % '0"' Tar anu si0'0Se
They're making cotton clothes from wool
And iron things from wood;
They're making goodies out Of scraps
And nasty things from good;
They,re 1 making paper thinss from RAGS
But this Is sure the worst as yet
A coal tar lemon pie!
They're making combs from kerosene
Ana pearls from olive oil;
They're making Belgian hares of cats
They're hey ,g making buckwwheat cakes from paste
But this is the time TO kick
a coal tar lemon pie
They're making clothing out of glass
And butter out of grease;
While maple sugar made from sand
Is commoner than geese;
Most terrapin YOU buy;
But ANYTHING We'll stand except
y coal tar lemon pie
Baltimore American.
To perpetuate his memory in the m.rds and
hearts OF the people of the city which has baar
his home for half a century. George A. Crund AZ
Of than 100000 for the erection of a hotel
which is 10 be the property OF the city. The only
conditions that the hotel shall always bear his
name. and that lifesize portrait of himself shal!
be placed in the foyer. Work Will begin at once
Maiden Lady-It is very good Of you. sir. to give
your seat.
Pat O'Brady-Not at all, mum. It's dooty we
owe 10 The sex Some folk only DO it when a
is young and pretty but / says the sex
and not the indivtdual-tTt-B
Budapest has a gang Of blackmaers who op-
crate much like the Black Hand here. Letters
have been received by many well-to-dO persons
all signed simply by the number 'l3' ard all de-
mandug sums Of NOT less then &5oO ana oftener
s;ilI larger under threats of dynamite In case of
refusal A grain or two O. explosive material is
nclosed with the letter by way of sample. Al
though these mlssives have been numerous during
the last few months cew has so far been
obtained 10 the writer's.
Eyidence.-First Lady-IIere's article. DO
Animals Think | wonder n they do:
second I.ady-l'Ve noticed that my husband gets
on an occasional bright thing-QIfe.