The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1905-07-22
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she--Look, dearI Papa's check win
pay Tor our wedding trip. The Duke
but what are we going to do after
ward?-Life.
"She told me she was unmarried
ana now find that abe Ia divorcee."
wen, isn't divorcea unmarried s--
Houston Post.
Did he ever figure In the divorce
courtT "No; his lawyers did all that
Tor him. He simply paid the bilis."-
Yonkers Herald.
She-No, can never marry you.
All our family is opposed to you. He
But If you are not She-I said
all our family.-Ex.
sne-How do you like my new
coat? The Friend-Do you want an
honest opinion7 She-Of course not.
-Fliegende Blaetter. 9 &&
Mr.. Bjones-How wonderfully Mrs.
Robinson carries her age. Mrs.
Bsm1th (sweetly) - Yes, considering
now much there IL Of it.-Ex. v~
1.-THE equator" wrote an English
schoolboy in his examination paper,
lis a menagerie lion running round
the center Of the earth."--Ex.
"You don't agree then that seeing is
believing2" "Not muchl see; some
people every day that I never could
Observation-Disclosures Ledger.
Clementine-Arabella, would you
run sitter a mani Arabella-Yes. I
would; If a mans worth having he 10
worth running after.-Brooklyn Life.
The Woman Cooking at q hideous
specimen)-Oh, what q dreadful crea-
ture? The Man with infinite relief
Can you see 1t. too?-Harper's Week
ly. s--~e
PompouS Waiter-Have you order
ed, MISC? Timid Little Girl (taking
her first meal at restaurant)--N-no,
sir; but I've requested. Chicago Trib-
une. =
"Can a man marry comfortably on
five hundred dollars a yearT "Oh,
yes. But he can't stay married COM
fortably on any such sum" -Cleve-
land Leader.
Slimson--Willie, they tell me you
have the reputation Of being the worst
boy in school. Wiiiie-Tes, father, ana
I can tell you l. didn't get it without
struggle.-Life.
Grocer-What is ii, little girl? Little
Girl-Mamma sent me for lamp
chimney, and she says she hopes 1t
will be as strong as that last butter
you sent us.-Pick-Me-Up.
Mamma-Here's the man for that
clock to be repaired. Get it for him.
Tommy-Where is It? Mamma-Up-
stairs, of course. Tommy-Oh! I
! thought it had run down.-Ex.
Wigwag-Why do you insist upon
carrying your shirt home from the
laundry instead Of having it sent1
Harduppe--So that folks will know
that I have two.-Philadelphia Rec.
ord.
"Bliggins puts a great deal OF
thought into his work" EYES," said
the sarcastic person; The works ten
minutes and then thinks about 1t for
an hour and q quarter. "-Washington
Star.
Katie-Tell me, Edith, what did you
say when Charley proposedT Edith
Me? Oh, there was no occasion foA
me to say anything. Charley had said
all that was necessary. - Boston
Transcript.
Church worker-Would you assist
US, good sir, to send a missionary to
the cannibals2 Mr.. Gotrox-Not much
I'm q yegetarian-but I'll assist you
to send them some easily digested &C.
real!-Puck.
Haven't you any ambition to work
as your father did at your ageT' Ger
tainly not" answered the gIlded
youth; IF were to work what would
have been the use Of fathers working
Washington Star.
1--WE can't have everything In this
Iife," said the philosopher. NO." an
swered Dustin stax; "the ideal but
Impossible combination is a million
aire menu with a deck-hand appetite
+ Washington Star.
~ reckon Bill must have been GU
out for one O. these geniuses tina
writes for the magazines" said tht
old Georgia farmer, because he cam
make cash enough to have his hal
cut and would ruther watch a sta
than dig a wellv'-Atlanta Constitu
ton.
Suppose" said he, feeling his way
"your father should ask me what m!
expectations are in-er-this direc
ton. What shall say" Speak tn
truth" replied the sweet girl; tel
,, him you don't know."-Philadelphi
! Ledger.
"Ah," said Mrs. Oldcastle; IS
, you're reading Mrs. Binkleton's neV
story7 Don't you think her style
almost too idiomattcT II hadn't nc
ticed it." replied her hostess, 'but
wouldn't be surprised II it was. Yo
know it runs in their family. Sh
t had a niece that was only half-wit
Chicago Record Herald.