Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1905-10-20
sTORIETTES

STORIETTES
The story is told OF a well-known
man who, not finding his wife, went
out into the kitchen where the laund-
ress was busy with the family linen.
and inquired: Bridget. do you know
anything Of my wife's whereaboats?"
"Yis. sor," replied Bridget. y put
.nem in the wash"
A witty but not over.industrious
Celt was one Of street gang A few
minutes before noon, one day, ne
threw his shovel into the gutter, sat
down on the curbstone, and proceed
ed to fill and light his pipe. Just
then the superintendent OF streets
came around q corner and seeing Pat,
roared out: "Here! What are you
throwing down your shovel for at this
time Of day?" ITO cool it, str-r,"
said Pat.
A few years ago, the President de-
cided to appoint Mr.. Wynne, now con-
sul-general at London, to be first as.
sitant postmaster-g "How will.
we keep this from the newspapers?
was asked by some Of the Presidents
advisers. II think that the best way
would be to take the newspaper cor
respondents into our confidence,
said the President. This was done.
and the secret was carefully guarded !,
for month, although known all that
time by fifty or more Washington cor.
respondents.
Henry James, the novelist, narrat-
ed at Boston dinner-party CONVEX
sation that he had overheard that
afternoon. 1T was a conversation,
said Mr.. James, between young
book clerk and an older one. 1t oc-
CURED in book-shop devoted to the
sale Of the most popular and newest
fiction. The younger clerk approach.
ed the older anxiously. Say he
whispered, there's a woman here
wants Spencer's POEMS is 1t Her
bert Spencers poems?' the more ex.
perienced clerk asked calmly. Yes,
said the other; what shall tell herr
Tell her we haven't got EN- said the
ether clerk.
M. Sato, one of Japan's representa-
tives at the Peace Conference, was
chatting with some newspaper men,
one of whom suggested that plain
statement was enough for treaty
Of peace, and that elaborate wording
was not necessary. The Jap dissent1
ed from this view, and, by way Of IL
lustration, told of an African traveller
who was relating narrowing adven-
ture. II peered into the Jungle" said
the traveller, "and saw trunkless
body" One Of his auditors said.
sarcastically: Whoever heard Of .
trunkless body?' The traveller an
swered, calmly: "This was the body
of an elephant"
A story is told of the wonderful
cure from deafness of patient who
was recommended to hear Wagner
opera, and to sit near the orchestra
by the trombones. The physician ac-
companied his patient, and sat beside
him. Suddenly, while the crash Of
the instruments was at its loudest,
the deaf man found he could hear.
Doctor" he almost shrieked, Il can
hesrE The doctor gave. no sign that
he noticed the remark. Il tell you
doctor" repeated the patient, In
ecstasy, ''you have saved me! r.
have recovered my hearing" Stili
the physician was silent He had be.
come deaf himself.
Shortly after Garfield's death. .
prominent politician made an address
upon the life of the statesman before
a school, When he had finished, he
said: Nov, can any Of you tell me
what statesman is?'' A little 4
hand went up, and little girl re-
plied "A statesman is a man who
makes speeches" Hardly that" an
swered the politician, who loved to
tell this story. "lFor instances,
sometimes make speeches, and yet I
am not a statesman" The little hand
again went up, and the answer came,
Il know; statesman
is man who makes good speeches!"
Tho NAV IN a hoo ~ u