The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-01-07
"Of course

'sOf course"
''All of which was because trusted
you to see me off and you failed me.
Now and then man may be excused
for being absentminded, but a woman
never. If I had kept a list of your
lapses the length of it would astonish
you. The best thing you can do is to
keep quiet and read this book. I find
that since 1 began it have a much
clearer memory"
Il may read it later on answered
Mrs. BoWser, "but meanwhile let me
ask you what you did with the gimlet
after using it last EVENING""
I put it back in the tool box, of
course
1T is not there
''Then you have removed it."
Certainly not. You were using it
upstairs and you left it on a window
sill. When you came down you got
the screw-driver and went down eel
Ter to tighten up a water faucet.
Where did you leave it 20
In the tool box. and I'll bet mil
lion dollars to a cent
You left it on the cellar bottom.
Night before last you went over to
the painters after a pound of putty.
You forgot what you wanted and
brought home a can of blue paint.
Three evenings ago, when you were
going out for cigars 1 asked you to
stop at the drug store and bring me
a little peppermint essence. You came
home with laudanun. How many
times in the last year have you walked
into the houses on either side of US,
thinking you were in your own 1t
wasn't a week ago that you took the
wrong car and went a mile out of
your way. When Mrs. Green came in
here the other day you smiled and
bowed at the cat ad started to kick
the lady. I am glad you have little
book on memory, Mr.. Bowser; you
certainly need II"
You are talking to me. are you %
asked Mr.. Bowser. who was turning
three or four colors and hitching
around in his chair
81 am, SIR
"And you are trying to make out
that I'm born fool?"
mo, not that: but if that book
helps you any it will be a good thing.
You thought I didn't know how many
pieces were in the parlor suite, al
though I had seen them daily for two
years. You have been from here to
the corner three and four times a day
for the last ten years. How many
shade trees do you pass?"
''Just exactly seven"
You are wrong
"I'Il bet my life on iti''
''Then you are a dead man."
"By thunder, woman. but do you
expect me to stand t1lis!' he shouted
as he sprang to his feet. ct say
there are seven. and no more nor less.
I'll go out and count them this min
ute, and when I come back again
we IL nave a La4k- gu are B6LuuS
too fresh
In a. minute more he was into his
overcoat and under his hat and out
of the house. The seven trees turned
out to be nine. and after he had
them over ten times he lean
ed against the fence and talked to
himself. He was using words with
exclamation points before and after
them, when a policeman came along
and halted and demanded:
See here, you old boozer, you can't
sleep off no drunk again that fence!"
who's drunk?'
"You arei''
You're a 1iari''
Mrs Bowser and the cat had gone
to the front window to look for Mr..
Bowser. and they hadn't been looking
over a minute when ne hove into
view. He was galloping for his life,
and the policeman was close at his
heels. He didn't turn in. but threw
one despairing glance at the window
and put on more steam and was out
Of sight like a cannon ba1l.-( Copy
right, 1905, by T. c. McClure.)