St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1905-12-01

Because a man eats clans OH
Thanksgiving is no sign he is one.
Maybe after this they'll not
send word when they're going to
send Word to St. Johns
A man who has lived in Corvallis
"a years has gone crazy. Possibly
there S a reason for this.
At Gresham they dilute drinking
water with milk. 4 fresh COW fell
into a well there lrst Friday
The paralyzing of a dray horse
at Cottage Grove a few days ago
set the detectives looking for blind
pigs.
It has been suggested that it be
written after this 'pg"-a pig
without any eve. hence "blind"
one.
Speaking of "union made" shoes
can fellow wear them over
eight hours a day without having
his corns strikel
After all, il might have paid that
Portland department store to have
signed the $500 contract. 1t has
lost lot of business.
A nice way to lose discomfort is
to watch a fellow scratch the fleas
that have just left YOU. Your loss
his gain, you know.
Dowie has returned from Havana
where he has been planting"
colony. The old man has done
lots Of planting-in his way.
You could trade a ten-pound
turkey this week for 81 pair OF
shoes-by adding four bits. And
the shoes would be worth the mon,
too,
Attorney ]. Il. Dill is TO help
prosecute the life insurance frauds.
Sharp fellow, that Dill Il is asser.
ted that lie Is the father OF all the
Dill pickles.
AT Salem two fellows who lost
few dollars at gambling have sued
the winner for double the sums
lost. And yet It's said that only
real men gamble
II whiskey takes the lining off a
mans stomach there's many
man whose stomach must be going
round II its shirt-sleeves while the
coat is having a lining put in!
a. J. Seaman, OF Omaha, is
worth sIoo, ,ooo-yet lives on ISc
a day and dresses OH IS year.
That's the way he became worth
his lortune-but think of the fun
he's lost
THE Best Mother Is The Club
Woman SAYS a woman OF Portland.
Nes, and IL every mother would
Use the club with more frequency
she'd have more politeness instilled
into her children.
Oregon's cry of a coal shortage Is
toollshnesS, Oregon has wood to
burn, " Millions of cords are
burned in the field every year be,
of lack of push to cut it into
stove length and sell il.
Portland restaurant keepers fur.
nish music with meals-in vain
endeaver Ia hide the quality OF the
The music also seems To
inilame guests with a desire To tip
the whole establishment,
Attorney Manning, district pros
,cutor, says the mayor of Portland |
,antarreSt gamblers over in Clacka-
mas county Aud the mayor of
Portland says "B' gosh, We can,
90 an | did, So. there
The only difference is that the
district attorney stands in with |
me clique of gamblers-and the
mayor islands in with another
\ow roll up Your pants. feller
itizens, an wade in fer a scrap!
Sherman Shaffer, of Helena,
iontana, last week made a bet
hat he could drink a quart OF gin
n fifteen minutes. He won. His
widow 5 only regret was that the
mount Won was not large enough
o defray all the funeral expenses,
When Jonah went prospecting
Of oil in the whale's-well, in the
'hale's society, he wrote to his
ather that he'd just dropped in to
pretty good thing where there
vas a good opening. A few days
,ter when Jonah realized what he
'as up against he wrote to his
'ther as follows; Dear dad,
hink | was sucked in"
THORN.