Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1905-03-11


In few minyits they'll detect We,
Martin Dooley, tn counterfeit
Demostheens.' Tn room swan
befure me eyes; there was a buz.
zin' in me cars. | had all tn symp.
toms iv Doctor Bunyan's custom.
ers. / thried to collect me
thoughts but they were off tn res.
crvation. | wud've gone out if l
cud walk an / was goin' to thry
whin | heered tn chairman min
ton me name. 1t sounded as if
it come ont iv a cheap phonograft.
81 f'rgot to tell We, Hinnissy,
that in thinkin' iv me great eff
fort | had rehearsea a few motions
to inthrajooce tn noble sintimints
that was to bubble up firm me. At
tn mintion iv me name an durin'
tn cheerin' that followed / was go
in to lean forward with me head
bowed an me hand on tn edge iv
tn table an Il demoor smile on me
face that cud be translated: 'Th'
great man is amused but wud-
dent have We know it f'r wur-
rulds.' Whin tn cheerin' throng
had exhausted its stren'th | in
tinded to rise slowly, place me
chair in front iv me an leanin'
lightly on tn back iv it, bow first
to wan side an thin tn other an
remark :'Misther Chairman, a-a-nd
gint-elmen: Whin I see so nanny
smilin' faces befure me on this au-
spicious occasion, l am reminded
iv little incident An so on.
"Well, glory be, Hinnissy, /
can hardly 90 on with tn story. 1t
was twenty-five years ago but /
can't think iv it without feelin'
at tn end iv me fingers as though
| had scraped a plasther wall. At
tn mintion iv me name, ] lept to
me feet, knockin' over all tn
dishes an glasses in me neighbor-
hood. | carefully stepped on me
neighbours toes an bumped into
tn chairman who was still tellin'
what he wanted me to think he
thought iv me. ! rolled me nap,
kin up into ball an thrust, it in
to me pants pocket. ] become
blind, def an dumb. l raymim-
Der maxim few grunts, fghtin'
an imaginary inimy with me fists
an 'dhroppin' in me chair, bro
ken four-hush Pathrick Hinnery.
I've nivcr got me reputation back.
Most iv tn people thought l was
drunk. Tn more charitable
said | was on'y crazy. Tn i'm
pressyon still remains in tn ward
that I'm a victim " apoplexy.
well, sir, tits sthrange thing
this here oratory. Ye see man
that We wudden't ask to direct ye
to tn postoflice get on his feet an
make speech that wnd melt tn
money in ye'er pocket. Another
man comes along that We think q
reg'lar little know-all an whin he
thries to make a speech to Sun.
day school class he gives an imi.
tation iv man with group, delu.
sions iv pursuit an st. Vitus'
dance. If he don't do that he
bombards his fellow man with til
kind iv composition that they
keep boys afther school FIR. Car
ney made wan iv that kind at thi.
banket. Carney has a head a,
hard as a cocynut. He wanted {
new bridge built acrost tn cricl
an he was goin' to talk about tina
at tn banket. On tn way Owe
he tor me about it. lie argyed 81
we'll that he convinced me an Tn
wan iv tn most indignant tax-pay
ers FIR a poor man that We i've
knew. l thought whin he got u
he wud say something like this
'Boys, we need new bridge. Th
prisint wan is disgrace to tn
ward. Curtins' horse fel
through it last week. BY jimun
eddy, if Billy O'Brien don't sc
us new bridge, wen bate him q
til prim'rics.' That wud hay
gone fine f'r Curtin was loud al
poplar fish pcddler. But wha
did Carney do! He niver wa
within four thousan' miles iv
swing bridge acrost tn Chicae
river. Says he: Gentlemen: W