The Glenwood post., 1905-01-07

ing his opinion during the recent
Scientists claim that the Moon
makes the hair grow and the state
meut furnishes an excuse for great
many baldheaded men staying out
late nights.
An Illinois widow has written
questing that he send her husband
at once. Money must he plentiful in
this year when woman
will venture that amount on Chi
cago husband
\ Spokane paper asserts that Idaho
lawyers will wear dress suits here
after. Why not wear them here.
may we inquire? If general prophecy
is reliable lawyers will have little
use for dress suits, or any other kind,
in the hereafter
james Barton Adams of the Denver
Post exploits calf with five legs as
a most remarkable curiosity AID
really now, Jimmie calf, with five
legs is marvel but II leg with one
calf is not to be sneezed
at, eyether, Do you rubber?
A Boston man denied himself Al
sufficient number of beans and finally
starved to death, ragged pauper in
order that lie might leave 81, 900 600
to charity. This should be called to-
the attention of Mr. Carnegie before
he completes his list of heroes.
A man down in temperance Kansas
was recently arrested and fined for
drunkenness on the testimony of his
wife, that he came home with eyes
like Goldfish dying with the tooth
ache A judge who would believe a
story as tishy as that deserves to live
in Kansas.
The editor of the Routt county Re
publican makes reference to new
batch of correspondence from SLEEPY
hollow, the lively, wideawake settle
ment on Elkhead Whether this is
some of Brother Wood 5 editorial sa--
casm or whether the name is II mis-
nomer, deponent sayeth not.
Mary had little lamb
All fricasseed with peas.
Then little lobster salad
And some energetic cheese;
A quart of Hook to wash it down,
A taste of mountain dew
All these had little Mary,
And little coffin too.
Under the triple heading liatched,
Matched and Dispatched II Missouri
editor records 'he births. weddings
and deaths of his ncighborhood If
the divorce mill of that country
grinds as steadily as it does ont here
we suggest that the brother make it
a quartette by adding Detached.
The Summit County journal thinks
that if the time ever comes when men
are as good as their obituaries. and
women are as good AS they look, the
recording angel in heaven won t have
Il thing to do put balance his book
and close the account and begin tC
watch for an opening in the helI
wanted columns.
Ollie Thorson ls now thoroughly
convinced that it pays to advertise
He missed fine razor from his show
case and stated in his ad that the
party could avoid prosecution by re
turning the knife and in a few days il
was brought back by a messenger boy
who earned his quarter by refusing tc
answer questions. That what / cal
sharp trick, Ollie.
In Maine neither party to matri
monial contract can secure a divorce
on the ground of deseition until tn,
desertion has been prolonged for .,
years. In this country we do busines
on swifter basis. The editor wa
deserted by his better half las
Wednesday and has already threatene,
proceedings unless she returns befor
the next cold snap
Its remarkable how such honel
men as Bill Dongan and Mike LAWN
can show such pretty 5abies'' re
marked an old bachelor one day thi
week as he stood on Glenwood COZ
ner discussing the baby show. mo,
sir, if you can find in this Who'll
country two uglier-' ''But Jus
think of their handsome wives" pr
in his companion. "Well, l hadn
considered that feature of the case
replied the old bachelor IA he annie