The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1905-01-01
The Unconventional
Woman.

| toms OF pOl1lc Society. IHSy thcC'
| bizarre fashions, such as going with
out hats in the day time, rolling their
| sleeves up TO their shoulder, and cui.
| tiVating q complexion like a saddle
! skirt. AT college they ape what they
/ fondIy believe to be the hoodlum man
ners Of college boys. They make
| themselves i'll smoking cigarettes that
| they abhor in their ''dens,' they drink
| cocktails with men III public restau-
rants. They are never so happy as
| when they think they have shocked
! somebody, and they loudly proclaim
| that they are going TO play the game
| Of life according TO their own sweet
viii, and not according 70 the Hoyle
! rules of civilization.
This they call being unconventional,
New, whenever a woman tells me that
| she is thoroughly unconventional, / al
ways put a black mark against her
name on my visiting list. No matter
| how charming she may be, no matter
how desirable she is in other ways, /
know she is bound 10 be a trouble and
3 worry, and had better be avoided.
She is the woman who never can be
depended on TO do the right thing at
the righr time. She aggraVates your
soul by neglecting 10 reply TO invi-
tations. and ruins your temper by
coming when YOU don't want her,
and gonig when YOU wish her to stay,
and imperialS the peace of the COM
munity by saying the things that
should be left unsaid. She is BOOM
rang in society that is continually
dying back aud knocking down inno-
cent people.
Just why a woman should account
t unto herself for virtue 10 defy the
usages of good society is something |
nave never been able To understand.
You often hear some woman describ-
ed conventional in a tone of voice
that implies criticism 1t would be
quite as just to attempt to throw 0bli
quy upon Il man because he was ac-
FUSED of being a good citizen, who re-
spected and obeyed the laws When
mankind decided to cease being Wild
beasts and become civilized they made
for their guidance certain regulations
which they mutually agreed to con-
form to for the general good. That is
precisely what the conventions of So
cleiy attempt. They are the laws we
have evolved to protect ourselves from
the tender mercieS Of indiscreet
friends and the Vaccinations Of our
enemies. They are simply the keep
off the grass signs with which we warn
trespaSserS off our personal liberties.
As q mater of fact, the attitude OF
the woman who is thoroughly lncCn-
ventional is one of utter seltiShneSs
She never takes anything but her
own desires into consideration, and Ii
never troubles her in The least that she
upsetS other peoples plans. You ask
ner to dinner, for instance. All over
the civilized world a dinner invitation
is d sight draft on politeness that must
be honored at once. But the woman
who prides herself on her unconsen-
tionality. declares she will never be
ruled by the hide-bound laws of soci-
ETY.. 50 she does not reply TO the invi-
tation until it suits her. The days
go by and you agoniZe over your table.
not knowing whether she will come or
not. Perhaps on the last day she tel
ephones that she will not come In
her haste, ana in deadly fear of Civ
ing offense, you ask a substitute TO fill
her place; then just at the last minute
she walks serenely in. md calmly an
nounCes that she decided to come after
all. You conjure up q Sickly smile of
welcome, rush out and interview the
waitress, and count the entrees, put
on another plate ana wish TO good
ness you could make the laws for
ABOUT five minutes while you fixed q
penalty fitting the crime for such an
offcnse. II doesn't make n bit al diff
ference what Kind of a woman she is
fhough she We're the Venus de Medici
III looks, an Aspasia in wisdom and
Madame de Stael in wit, she has
ruined your dinner party, and all be-
cause she refused to recognize the
laws laid down for such occasions.
Ihen there are those delightfully."-
unconventional people who take the
liberty of revising your invitation list
In their opinion an Invitation is a fam
lily affair. and transferable from one
member To another. They accept with
alacrty and send whom they please,
so that at your dinner of ceremony to
a scientist you may have addle- pated
Cholly, who doesn't know q blessed
thlng above two-step, in place of his
leaned father, or at your butterfly
luncheol 10 debutante Maud's eIe-
phahtine mother may appear in her
pace as substitute that Is expected
10 Ill your heart with joy. II may be
taken as rule that a hostess gener-
ally knows what she's about. and haa
given some thought to the people She
is 10 bring together. A tactful woman
arranges such a matter with as nice
sense OF shading as q printer does q
picture, ana II is an objectionable i'm
pertlheice Tor guest 10 presume TO
alter it,
Another thing the unconventional
woman trfumphS in is in disregarding
the hours of her cards of invitation,
Many of us have houses built on the
contracted Queen Anne style of ar
chltecture, and hospitality designed
on the roomy old colonial order TO
reconcile these two. we invite some of
our friends to come from to s. say
and others from to T. If they would
do ii all would be well. We have
probably spent sleepless nights trying
to arrange our invitations SO that GER
tain congenial clicues would come al
the same time. and miss other uncon-
genial factions. At any rate, il would
give everyone plenty of room, and
not overcrowd the dining room. 1t is
lovely theory, but the unconven-
tional woman knocks il silly, because
she would rather die than go just when
she is expected. She waits until the
women who are receiving have grown
limp with fatigue and the other peo-
ule are coming, then she rushes in III
her might and packs the little dining
room 10 sutfocation, and turns what
you had hoped would be lovely little
reception into something that is a
pushing, scrambling mob.
We all know the woman who proud
y proclaims she never does any cere-