The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-12-09

Mrs. Callahan-Moike! Moike!! WEEK
mp; ut's tonne t take y'r insomnia
m1dicine.-Puck.
| Yes, she's married to q real estate
agent and good, honest fellow, too"
my gracious! Bigamy Philadelphia
Press.
Jaggles-I see a horse SHE'D at q
statue in Central Park. Waggles- He
must have been one Of those educated
horses.-Puck.
First Loafer-Did you help at the
nre last night? Second LOafer-Yes, q
bit. l got out Of the way of the fire
engine.-Puck.
Passenger-Have time to say good
by to my wife? Conductor-Depends
on how long you've been married.
Fliegende Blaetter.
Poet-This, sir, is the only poem I
ever wrote. Editor-Well, cheer up.
Nobody's going to take it away from
you.-Cleveland Leader.
What was your name before you
were married?" asked the Chicago
census taker. (Which time" queried
the lady.-Detroit Free Press.
what are the principal places of
interest about New York;" You'll
have to ask some stranger. I've lived
here all my life, you know."-Judge.
Biffson-My wife always insists on
having the last word! Bangs-Well,
you're lucky! Mine always insists on
having the last dollar!Detroit Free
Press.
Teacher Ito smallest boy in Glass;
What well-known animal supplies you
with food and clothing Smallest Boy
(after some thought-My father
Judge.
Papa, what's a man who runs an
| auto calledY ut depends on whether
he is being called by his employer or
by the man he has just missed" -
Houston Post.
II promised to make a call tonight"
said the man, preparing to go out.
VERY WELL" replied the wife; but
don't call unless you nave the cards.. -
Houston Post.
The Writer-I see you've got my
latest book there. What doSyou think
Of it? The Reader-Oh, I've only had
time to read the last few pages of it
as yet.-Tid- Bits.
"Who is supporting Starleigh this
season. His wife," His wife!
Why, I never knew she was on the
stage" "She isn't; but she takes in
washing. "-Baltimor American.
Singleton-Have you decided what
you are going to call the baby, old
man? Notwithstanding. I'm go
ing to call him whatever my wife
names him.-Chicago Daily News.
Little Willie-Papa, why does the
railway company have those cases
with the AK and saw in every car?
Father presume they are put in to
use in case any one wants to open a
window.-Puck.
Hardupp-Have you lve-dollar bill
you don't know what to do with
Smyke-Yes, here is one. Hardupp-
Thanks-but, 1 say, this is counter
felt! Smyke-Well, you asked ME for
one 1 didn't know what to do WITH
Tales.
"You haven't married me just to
spite somebody else, have your she
asked, looking >anxiously up into his
honest blue eyes. mo, DEAR" he alb
sent mindedly replied; II took you for
your money alone" chicago Record
Herald.
Mrs. Binks-My husband did not
like that tea you sent US last. Grocer
politely)-Did you like it, madam?
Mrs. Binks-Yes, I liked 1t. Grocer Ito
clerk)-James! Send Mrs. Binks an
other pound of the same tea she had
last. Anything else, madam? New
York Weekly.
ma" exclaimed Bobby, do you
like any one to bite your" mo, dear;
why?" "Well, Mr.. Buttin just bit sis
ter on the mouth, and she put her
arms around his neck and tried to
choke him. l guess she doesn't like
| 1t, either."-Puck.
How did you like my talk last
nightY' asked the beginner In the lee
ture field. "Well," replied the candid
critic, you didn't take advantage Of
your many opportunities" Il didn't"
mo. you had a number Of opportuni-
ties to quit before you did. "-Philadel-
phia Press.
"Mr. Rangle," said the book agent,
..can sell you history Of Menard
County, why, that happens to be
tho county l was born and grew up
In" said the lawyer; what IL the book
lworthr -Four dollars copy" ''I'll
take one" To Mr.. Rangle's intense
surprise the caller burst into tears.
.What's the matter, young man." he
asked: twas the shock too great for
vouY' .'It-it wasn't what expect
4 .