The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1905-06-15

IAbb bUhUlOD. TOT puICn 10
pleasing fellow and wears paste
diamonds. The brakeman was
literally buried in all Eastern
newspaper. The crack of match
on the rim of the Baker heater
caused him to look up.
"Say, sit down an ride some.
Thanks, I'll smoke this after my
run. I've got one stacked out iii
the shutter Stats if the porter
hasn't pinched it. Nix. One of
Hem is the Cons an / don't know
which. Well, he can have 'em
both, Aw, never mind, I'll chew
some gum.
Listen. / was just readin' n
gag here that is hid out under II
single-coumn head instead Of
bein' fully featured for the text
of u Sunday sermon, an if it
wasn't for fear of breakin' into
the ranks of the ruralites I'd tear
off a solo about soulless corpora
tions. ! don't mean railroads;
but the big dailies that urge n
man to vote himself out of job
one day, an then start popular
subscription for him the next,
that can swing public sentiment
into singin' the Marsellais, or de-
manding the suppression of the
hand organ an the Ring Around
Rosey of dancing kids in the
tenement district; that plays
with the passions of the public
with as much tricky Technique as
a cello in the hands of virtuoso;
that feature freakish fad of the
rich on the front page an skies
a famine among its four-inch ads;
that backs up sickening scandal
with yellow editorial, or shoots
n special train of supplies to the
fatherless families of mine dis
aster; that will proclaim the pos
sibillties of Borgia drug, an
then lead crusade against cigar
cites; that-but what's the use?
One of these penny papers can
arouse more enthusiasm than the
protocol of President, or more
reverence than the pronounce
mento of Pope. 1t can make
anarchists out of Americans an
friends out of foes. One issue
may be searchlight that reveals
mems souls an the next slips in
the dark slide, an there you are.
Here the gag: Mrs. Billy
Billlonaire appears with dia-
monds in her teeth an six special
correspondents spread their
stunts over the front page. A
greasy, begrimmed, engineer
sticks to his locomotive in head.
end collision an while he slowly
dies in a mass of steel an steam,
these same staff correspondents
are tipping the porter for a list Of
prominent people in the rear
Pullman. They get space story
while the friends of the hero who
died under the frebox read his
obituary in two-line statement
that he must have disregarded his
runnin' orders
OF course l know they are not
println' their papers to please
railroad people, but why not put
their power to better use? We
don't pull work trains an empty
stocks all the time; but now an
then the same engine that's been
doin' this service is tied onto a
string of coaches, an girls an
grandmothers, an boys an bull
lies are whipped around these
curves on cheap excursion that
literally sprinkles wholesome sun
shine over every station IN life,
an for the time at least they for
get the work-a.day thrust of
thorns in the passin' pleasure of
round trip to town.
"Now here's little three-inch
gag swingin' from single-column
head that is warpin' the page of
this paper with an idea big enough
to muddle the mind of n philos-
opher. If Bryan or Debs ever does
deep dive below the rullled sur
face of the labor siuation, of the
present problem involving the
plebe an his parquette seat in
this play, they'll come up with
the spirit of this gag that just
now gigged my notice. It's like
a balloon bein' filled Mt n hot-air
furnace-the longer you look at it
the bigger it gets. Its titanic
text for any thinker an again its
simple as n swltchlight. 1t looks
to me as though the wise ones who
are tryin' to solve the unrest of
the dinner pail paraders with So
cialistic stunts, single tax theo-
ries, an labor union laws, look
no further than the muscles in
the forearm that yields the ham,
mer, tightens the grip on the
throttle, or pushes The instru-
ments of industry. Nix. But