The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-07-16
SOME GOOD STORIES


 Well, I suppose eevry man on top of the earth has some sort of grievance, or most of them have,' said the old bar keeper, who has for some time been out of business, 'and 1 have mine, same as any one else," he continued. T keep up with the procession, anyhow"
 What Is the cause of your disquie- tude?" he was asked.
 Only this" was the old fellows re- ply. You know, in my time, I've had charge of some dandy bars and have met great many people. First-class folks at that-for l never worked in any sec ond-rate establishment--and they were all very friendly. It was: Jim, mix me one of your bang-up toddies; Make me julep of the best stuff in the house;' Take one yourself;' Have a cigar and so on and so on. Gents would introduce me to friends and be social with me and seem to think great deal of me, and all that. Well, some years ago an uncle of mine went over the great divide and left me snug little sum. Just about that time I played the horses very much to my advantage and, thinks l, now is my time. I'll stop waiting on other people and branch out as a fellow of some con- sequence and not having fellows calling me by my first name and ordering me to
 
 lem the drinks at the little tables and play servant generally.
 Now, what do you think? All these little notions of mine were castles in Spain Nobody has any more regard for mel mean real regard-than when I was wearing a white apron and serving up drinks Fact is, they have less regard for me than they had then. Can't get anybody to call be mister to save my life. When l do meet a man that I used to know all he does say is, Hello, Jim; never thinks of saying Mister Jones or inquiring after my health. We'll the way of the transgressor is hard. they say. Nobody ever asks me to do them the honor of joining them in a drink or com pliments me with a handle to my name. That's my grievance. said the old fellow Blessed If I'm not thinking of going back In the rum business just to have some folks talk pleasantly to me-" From the Philadelphia Telegraph.
 Speaking of the turtles that were re- gently found in Jersey, bearing dates of fifty and sixty years ago, recalls an incl dent that once occurred on the farm of the late Henry L Deacon. a well-to-do and influential resident of the land beyond the Delaware.
 A youngster who was fond of roaming over the fine, well-kept farm, found tur- tl6 one udy, dnu II ottufthu to hiit to make it one of the ancient date.
 Nothing short of the George Washing ton era would do So, taking out his pen- knife, the boy inscribed ''G w., 1776." on the reptiles shell. The cutting, of course, looked very modern, but this was easily remedied by rubbing it in mud and polish ing 1t on the grass.
 This done to the satisfaction of the boy, he rushed to the jollyfaced farmer, exclaiming:
 Look, MT. Deacon. I just found a tur- tie more than 100 years old, with George Washington's initials on the shell?'
 'Thee has?' said MT. Deacon, holding out his hand for the turtle.
 "Yes, sir returned the youngster with a very straight face.
 The good old farmer glanced at the rep tile just one second, and then burst out into a merry laugh.
 '.willie, thee alarmed fool" said he, "that turtle isn't half grown" From the Kansas City Times.
 On a north end corner a few nights ago was a faker selling a eureaI- Io noid his crowd he promised that after ne had talked about his goods 2 Wnile, ne would cut of boys head and replace N without injury to the boy. His 'dscapata-