West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1905-12-28
Grafton Did Not Celebrate Christ.
mas This Year.


the interest of us piemen. Since
my last epistle to the Prestonians
two of our most valued pieman,
Judge Reese Blizzard and Major
Chas. ID. Elliott, have received
their Christmas gifts in the way of
appointment. Col. Glasscock is
another that has not been forgotten
by Santa Claus Elkins. We have
delegated to Senator Elkins the
power to represent Santa Claus in
distributing the Christmas gifts to
the hungry piemen until he can read
his title clear to another term in the
United States Senate. The title
has been somewhat clouded by the
Insurgents refusing to sign the deed
good for six more years of public
plucking from the pie tree. In an
cient times 1t was called plum tree
and free to all who were inclined to
grab. The pie tree is different.
You are not allowed to approach 1t
unless you have permit from the
Chief Pieman. 1t is the property
Of the Machine.
1t Is to be deplored that those
new piehunters who had been led
to believe that they could deprive
Judge Blizzard and Maj. Elliott of
their pies are not fortifying them
selves as they were urged to go
after the pies. Bro. Miller, of
Parkersburg, who was inveighed in
to conference and told that he
could have the District attorney pie
for the asking will have to ask
again. Bro. Miller will find Park
ersburg a very desirable place to re-
side for the next four years. At the
end of the four years he will be
permitted to ask again.
A letter just received from Bro.
Gus Bolden from Grafton explains
the condition of my friend Ben.
Frank Sayre. After shedding several
tears of remorse Bro. Bolden says:
The defeat of Bro. Ben Sayre in
the pie contest, which was pulled
off In Washington last week, is the
only topic of conversation on our
streets. T he whiskey question,
which has caused JOY and sorrow to
Our people, has been relegated to
the Bluemont Cemetery and laid to
rest. The water famine which fol.
lowed the elimination of the red
liquor, and threatened the destruc-
ton of our happy homes, has for
tunately been adjusted satisfactorily
to US all by rise in the old Tygart
Valley river. But the defeat of
Bro. Benjamin Franklin Sayre has
cast a gloom over the entire COM
munity and there is weeping in
every household, and this calamity
came upon us just as we were get
ting ready to celebrate Christmas.
But there will be no celebration of
Christmas in Grafton this year for
Bro. Ben. Sayre has been defeated.
owe had engaged sixteen brass
bands at great expense to meet Bro.
Sayre at the depot when he return
ed home with his pie. Red fire and
sky-rockets we bought by the thou
sand. DR.. Thomas Fleming Lam
ham was the chosen orator for the
occasion. DR.. Lanham, in order
that he might do his city credit,
and gain for himself a Rame of fame,
devoted one month to the studying
of orations from Demosthenese to
Judge John Homer Holt. Since
Bro. Sayre has lost his pie the good
Doctor has declared that his voice
has been heard for the last time in
Grafton. This will be a serious loss
to the Sunday School picnics and
the man with the straw hat and the
rake.
al know ] am pouring out my
grief TO one who has a surplus of
sympathy for US ia our hour Of be-
reavement and mourning. T h e
only thing we have left to console
US is that Bro. Sayre escaped from
Washington with his life and that
we are TO have a city election in the
near future with the privilege to
vote for or against.
"Sayre is receiving many letters
Of sympathy. Even Senator'S Elkins
and Scott assured him Of their sym
| pathy in his hour Of need for pie
and declared that the awarding Of
the pie to Major Elliott was done
to save his life.
81 connot express our appre cia-
ton for your charming and fatherly
letter which has been a great com
fort 20 us. That you had 70 wait
forty years for your pie will not
ease Bro. Ben's aching heart. We
are doing everything we can 20 brace
him up, but as you are aware the
the old town has been short on
braces for sometime.
write me again and offer any
suggestion that would give rs a
clue 70 where we would discover the
coveted pie for Bro. Sayre."
Ny deep sympathy goes out 10
Bro. Ben Frank Sayre for know
how keenly Taylor county pieman
feels in the disappointment Of the