Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-08-01

d large man III DrllllauU C0IluIO1u
collar sat at my side for 100 miles
or more and looked at my newspa-
per over my left shoulder for good
luck. After I had fed aud fattened
him up on the latest intelligence Of
the day until | thought he had
E b )ut enough for one mess, I said:
And what do you think of Japan
and Russia? Do you believe the
Japs could ever lick the Russians?''
well, sir, ever since can re-
member" he replied, these here
Russians and Japs have been quar-
relin' with each other one day and
then exchangin' photographs the
next. It's been just before the bat
tie, mother, as the sayin' goes, to-
day and then tomorrow every
thing lovely, wish the czar of Rus
STA uangin' Old Man What's His
Name of Japan over the head with
fist full Of diplomacy and the
turtle dove roostin' on the olive
branch"
And how" I inquired, sorting
out a nice, easy flowing gesture that
I thought would meet his approval,
do you think war between Russia
ann Japan would Terminates"
well, they say these here little
Japs are great fighters from the
neck up" he answered, as he placed
pasteboard box, containing set
ting of hard boiled eggs and few
other delicacies, on his knees and
then began to consult it. And
yet these Russians" he went on, re-
moving an egg that had become i'm
bedded in a large slab of custard
pie, these here Russians with
whiskers that just naturally point
at you from every direction and
names that sound like man tryin'
to keep from sneezing during pray
ers, ought to be able to make it
more or less heated for 'em. But
they might be like a couple of
families l used to know by the name
of Casey and Hogan. These families
lived neighbors for years, and o.
how they did hate each other" he
exclaimed, unconsciously sweeping
his hand around with so much elo-
cutionary emphasis that an egg he
was just about to engulf slipped
from his grasp and struck an old
lady who sat in front of us and who
up to that moment had been help
ing herself to the scenery along the
way. Eyes, sir, these Hogans and
Caseys were sworn enemies with
the accent on the sworn. I recollect
one time Mrs. Hogan bought her
new hat with some kind of haired
feather CROWN out of the front end
of it. 1t was also equipped with a
fiat brim guaranteed to turn water
in case of rain, and was considered
a great social victory for the
Hogans. But the next Sun2ay Mrs.
Casey blossomed out in a hat that
carried feathers fore and aft and
looked like you could hit into it
anywhere with a club and scare up
anything from a rel squirrel to a
swarm of bees.
There was an old man that
lived in shanty between the
Hogans and Caseys by the name OF
Bill. Just plain Bills that's all.
Bill wore the same clothes from
one years end to the other and a
short wasted stiff hat with COM
plexion like a yellow dog, only
sadder. Folks used to say that Bill
died in the same hat he was born
in. Well, sir, at last the focus came,
as the sayin' goes, and I saw it all.
One of the Hogan boys threw a
brick at a Casey with such accura.e
aim that it went through Bills win
! dow. 1t completely demolished
Bills southern exposure. And then,
: sir, just as Bill ran out to learn who
to thank for the brick the entire
membership of both families came
over and swarmed in his front
yard. They were all there, from
old Grandpa Hogan to little Cecilia
| Casey, who had just graduated
from the cradle with high honors."
"And of course they went into
a fight" I interrupted, land both
sides won."
mo, SIR" he replied, laying a
large subdivision of pie on the win
dow sill. mo, sir, every blamed
one of 'em jumped on Bill. I never
saw a man that seemed to become
so popular apparently at one stroke
of the pen. Mrs. Hogan fought her
way through the crowd and hung a
landscape chrome in walnut frame
over Bills head, while Mrs. Casey
made a number of remarks to him