The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-10

l And the very first thing they dld was to suddenly plunge the banquet hall Into semi-darkness leaving only the big cleo trio gridiron to cast it's glow upon 1 stage draped entirely In black. Upon chair in the center was seated the grand inquisitor, dressed in white robe while | another member of the club attired in a scarlet suit. as the Head Devil, stood upon his left and fiourished a pitchfork. To the right was hung a skeleton with | glaring eyes.
 l Into this den of mystery marched the 1 three novitiates. Richard V. Oulahan of l New York Sun; Ernest G. Walker of the Boston Herald and MT. J. Henry Small, Jr., the latter a limited member These 1 gentlemen were made to rest themselves upon three gridirons. which were only apparently red-hot. and were then sub jected to roasting which was far more real Members of the club. impersonatlng | cabinet officers made all manner of charges against the newspaper cores pondents, and with every indictment the Head Devil got in his fine work with the pitchfork. MT. Small was humorously l introduced as '"rhe Publisher of the | Floral Tribute. which was thrown out of Congress last Monday" The act was | a good take-off on the Presidents order concerning the giving out of cabinet news, and it was only after the initiates had l given a pledge of the most solemn kind I that they were released. When the grand inqusitor sang a song, in which he told he had issued an order which kept every body mum and closed with this refrain, | to the tune of popular song: l Give my regards to Moody, l Remember me to Cortelyou; ! Tell Shaw and Taft and all the cabinet, l That l know what to do. l Whisper to Hitchcock softly, I'll practice upon him anon: l I'll find way to give the news, l No matter if the gag Is on. l The newspaper correspondents and the cabinet officers appreciated this song, even if no one else did. It touched a ten der spot.
 Some of the guests of the evening-and 1t Is a fortunate guest who has distinction l | a gathering-were the subjects of appro- priate musical tributes There was a song, for instance, dedicated to Vice l President Fairbanks. No, dear reader, it was not dirge. On the contrary, 1t was | a good, lively tune, with the verses de- scribing how everybody In the Senate talked all day long on every conceivable l subject. 'I ask you, wouldn't you like to be- the singer plaintively inquired, "in dear old Fairbanks placer" And then | the choir warbled this refrain:
 Everybody works but Fairbanks.
 He sits up all day.
 Listening to the speeches,
 Made in the same old way
 Allison, Lodge and Warren, All are in the ranks;
 Everybody works in the Senate, | But Mister Fairbanks.
 Inasmuch as MT. Fairbanks, as presi- dent of the Senate. has to sit in solemn silence in his high chair all day long, 1t is needless to say that the humor of the refrain made an instant hit.
 Speaker Cannon was embalmed in a song. sung to the tune of Uncle Ned, # which began in this fashions:
 There is a good fellow and his name is
 Uncle Joe,
 And stand-pat man Is he;
 In altering the tariff he is going very l slow,
 'It is good enough now" says he.
 At the conclusion of each verse the basso profundo of the club, whose voice Is deeper than the bottom of the sea, mournfully rumbled forth this line
 So lay the tariff question in its grave.
 Whereupon amid much merriment, the choir completed the refrain by adding: With the railroad rebate meath the dome, There is no more work for Congress to do; You might as we'll all go home.
 Senator Beveridge was also treated to a musical omelette souff1e. It dallied playfully with the Indiana senator's ''Fads and Fancies." and finally described him as 'peacherino," whatever that may be, although it sounds pretty good. The chorus, sung to the tune of "Tammany,. ran thusly:
 Beveridge, Beveridge,
 You're jolly Hoosier boy,
 You're the Senate's only joy;
 Beveridge, Beveridge,
 Fine de-ba-ter, great orator,
 Beveridge
 The songs, which greatly enlivened the evenings entertainment. served as intro- auctions for good speeches.
 The most pretentious stunt of the even- ing was a burlesque upon the peace con ference at Portsmouth. When the hold ing of such a conference was proposed. one of the members of the club opposed it. If war is abolished there will be no news" he remarked, whereupon an- other member suggested that on the contrary, peace conferences would result in two wars where there was only one before. The conferees were thereupon ap- pointed, together with an interpreter, whose chief business was Ito pretend to know what everybody else was talking about" The conference assembled upon the stage and forthwith proceeded to set tie some long-standing feuds.
 Before the conference had concluded its important labors 1t had discussed with de- lieious frankness the differences between Vice President Fairbanks and Senator I Aotr .