davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1905-08-26

that vicinity. That's where the Cap
itol Building is, isn't it?''
But Dodgers remained discreetly ST.
lent.
pipe was all the King vouschafed
to remark, as he passed on to enjoy
his regular morning baptism, which,
as he put it, made a new man Of him
every time he took it.
Pipe" muttered Jimmieboy. 81
wonder what he means by that
He was not long in finding out, for
a moment later he was liberated from
his steel box, escorted through a dark
passage until
The ground seemed to give way un-
der his feet and he began to fall
Falling
Falling
Still falling
And then
Bump!
Jimmieboy came out of a big hole
in the wall and landed squarely in
the middle of the little room where his
bureau stood
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1905-08-26
ON THE KINGS HIGHWAY.

Shall be allowed to see the King?"
asked Jimmieboy, as he trudged along
the shining yellow road in the company
of Commander Dodgers and his lieu
tenant, James.
We'll let you do your darndest,"
replied Dodgers, with a wink at James.
my advice to you however, is to go
easy. There's been a whole sley of
people in the past who've tried to see
His Majesty and, entire nous, as the
Emperor Napoleon Third used to say,
the blind asylums are full Of 'em. This
is a free country, of course, and even
a cat may look at a King, but if he
gets mis- whiskers singed it's his own
fault
Il don't think 1 understand" said
Jimmieboy.
mo, don't guess you do" laughed
Dodgers. eff you understood you
wouldn't be mere in Trustland lookin'
for material for composition. You'd
have taken any other job in Uncle
Sans house rather than the one you've
got. Teddy's tried it on himself more
than once, and copper-fastened,
steel-riveted, brass-frOnted, alum
mum chested, radium-eyed kid though
flag a half a dozen times since he first
embarked in Trust Bustin.'
He runs along very smooth until ne
comes across the trail O. King John
the Baptist, and then with beg-your-
pardon if -I-trod- on your-toes sort of
a grin he scorches back to where ne
came from and recites pieces before
the assembled Mothers O. the District
of Columbia on such subjects as Con-
densed Milk as a Spur to Noble Eff
fort and 'Sixty-two Ways of Knittin'
Worsted Reins with a Spool and a
Hairpin for Weapons Teddy's one
Of those strenuositors all right, but
he does most of his fightin' with die
tionary when it comes to scrap with
King john, and why? Because he I'M
derstands and mes got sense enough
to see the King by Proxy. 1t don't
affect your eyesight much to look at
the sun of proxy. My gallant young
friend. Verbin sap, which being freely
translated means that a word to the
Saphead should be sufficient"
He shines, does he?" asked Jimmie
boy.
He's the biggest shine of the age"
returned Dodgers.
AS Dodgers spoke Jimmieboy began
to hear the first sounds as of a great
cataract in the neighbornood, only
the roar was Of a metallic nature rather
than liquid.
What is that sound?" he demanded,
stopping short in the road.
Dividend Falls" said Dodgers. "a
hundred feet higher than Niagara, two
miles wide and"
And then they came in sight of the
mighty cataract. Dodgers completed
mis- description of it's grandeur with a
wave of his hand.
Great Heavens!" cried Jimmieboy.
as he took in the magnificent spectacle.
Why, it isn't water, it"
Cold" calculated Dodgers, grimly.
An endless stream of glittering coin,
all owing into the Golfers of the King
Jlmm1eboy gazed at it in silent
amazement, his ears deafened by its
roar.
But" ne gasped out finally, "what-
What keeps it from piling up?"
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1905-08-26
BILLIARD PLAYERS.

A chance to get a free ticket to Port.
land. With each game of billiards at
our parlors you get ticket which on.
titles you to a chance for a rounl-trin
R. r. ticket to Portland. Contest omen
until Sept. 1. Lutcher Bros. Billiard
Parlors. Handsomest billiard parlors
in the state.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1905-08-26
Jlmnleb0y In Trustlamd
By JOHN KENDRICK BANGS


does, nothing can, nothing ever will"
"And what are those little black
specks see moving about the edges of
the stream and down there in the
whirlpool" asked the little Travelled,
craning his neck to get a better view.
Human beings" said Dodgers, SOL
EMMY. "Those above on the edges are
college presidents, missionaries and
others whom the King permits to dip
out few pailfuls of mis- gold every
now and then as they happen to need
it. The ones in the whirlpool-well,
they are for the most part persons who
have tried to dam up this resistless
stream, with the result that you see.
It's all the same to the King whether
you come to praise or to dam-you get
what's coming to you, that's ALL"
Jimmieboy shuddered as boat load
of screaming men, women and children
came bounding over the edge and down
seething maelstrom of dollars below,
never to appear again on the surface.
'Ha! ma! hal" laughed Dodgers, as
they disappeared forever in the golden
reservoir. There's another party Of
'em chuting the chutes. They don't
ever seem to learn anything, do they,
James,"
Not they" sneered James. You'd
think they'd know enough by this
time not to go rowing on the main
stream. In the little pools and lakes
and rivers further up, yes, have all the
the falls-never.'
Its dreadful moaned Jimmieboy,
as he realized what was happening be-
| fore his very eyes.
Come he added; '1et us hurry to
| where the King is"
"All right" said Dodgers, follow
me-"
And with this he plunged headlong
| into the maelstrom and with a half
| dozen mighty strokes brought himself
! to the very centre of it and then dis
| appeared from sight.
Mercy" cried Jimmieboy, Il can't
do that
"You must!" returned James sternly.
TITS the only way"
| But" protested Jimmieboy.
'In with you," roared James, and
with that he gave Jimmieboy a push
that sent the little man flying head
over heels into the surging pool of
gold.
| How he ever got out Of it Jimmie
boy never knew, nor is he to this day
aware of now long he remained in the
pool, but when he came to he found
himself securely fastened in square
steel safe with a grated opening to let
in the air, and through which he would
have been able to see what was going
on in front of him if all had not been
plunged in darkness. All was still
save for an occasional groan and a cry
for help.
Here's a kettle Of fish, thought
Jimmieboy. 1--WE apparently been made
a prisoner
Hours passed-now many Jimmieboy
could keep no count-when finally a
door opened, letting in flood of light.
| well, Dodgers, make quick work of
it," said soft, pleasant voice. Il have
not had my morning baptism yet"
Eyes, Your Majesty" was the answer.
''The first prisoner sire, is man VINO
wrote to the Tom-Tom, praising him
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1905-08-26

for his biographical articles in the
Send him to Addix for the Gas
Chamber" was the swift response.
THE next is a minister of the Cos
pei, sire, VINO has preached sixteen
sermons and written forty-seven es-
says on Tainted Money"
Boiling oil for him. said the King,
for he of the soft voice was none other.
you overlook the detail, Your Ma
jesty," said Dodgers, that all sixteen
sermons and forty-seven essays were
in favor of it's acceptance"
"Ah," said the king, that is differ
ent. Build him a church, fill his
pockets with money and send him on
his way rejoicing-and see that ne is
branded with the S. o. hallmark. It's
important that we should be able to
identify our friends these days. WHAT
next?"
1.-THE next, sire, is an editor, whose
editorials on autocracy has done untold
harm to our cause" answered Dodgers.
whats his price," asked the King.
"He can't be bought" returned
Dodgers.
Give him ten minutes in boiling oil
and then a rundown with pepper and
SALT" said the King. after that see
what terms he has to propose. Next"
"a cartoonist, sire, who has depicted
you with only three hairs on your head
and labeled the picture, "a Threesome
on the Sockefeller Links" said Dod-
gers, with difficulty depressing smile
"Tee-hee- heel" Laughter the King, "a
funny man, eh?"
Eyes, sir" said Dodgers.
well, Dodgers, I guess the best
thing we can do with him is to let one
of our Readers read the Tom-Tom's
book on F'renzied Finance aloud to
him." said the King.
Mercy! mercy!" cried the prisoner.
Let me die, Your Majesty"
mo hurrah!" retorted the King.
"Similia simillibus curantur. I know
of no better cure for humor of your
sort than an overdose of Thomas w.
Tom-Tom, of Boston. Next"
Jimmieboy's heart sank within him,
for Next was himself.
"This is the boy from Uncle Sans
house, SIRE" said Dodgers.
Nina spy" asked the King, rub
bling his chi nrefectively.
mo, Your Majesty, never!" cried
Jimmieboy. "On1y travelling through
Trustland after material"
"Material?" growled the King. WHAT
for?"
MY annual composition on the Great
Philanthropists Of America" sobbed
Jimmieboy, thoroughly frightened
"Ah! That's it, eh?" said the King.
Have you seen the Iron Pig?"
"Yes," said Jimmieboy, "and the
Armourdillo and all the other great
Anthropists."
"And now you want me, eh?" smiled
the King.
eyes," said Jimmieboy, hopefully. IT
want you, the greatest of them ALL"
Cali right, my lad said the King.
'rn see that you get the material. I'll
have my Financial Secretary write out
the data and send them on to you.
It's mere matter Of bookkeeping, af-
ter ALL The address is?"
Uncle Sans House, Washington,
D. c." said Jimmieboy.
"Ah, yes," said the King. Il believe
1 hold a first mortgage on"
Careful, Your Majesty" whispered
Dodgers cit isn't recorded, you know"
flush, Dodgers, tush,'' said the
King. Il was only going to say that
held a first mortgage on property in
New-York tribune., 1905-07-16
THE CUFF MEMORANDUM.

II recently saw it reported" said Harvard man
OF the vintage OF '79 that the manager OF Phila-
delphiR laundry had remarked that the average
person had no idea Of the number OF men who used
their cuffs for memorandum purposes. I've a no.
ton that that's an idea the average person can
worry along without having. It would be of no
particular benefit to him If he knew exactly how
many men thus used their cuffs
But there was a time, back in my college
days, when used to wonder why so few OF the
professors, tutors and monitors grasped this Same
Idea For reference purposes during recitations and
euns, and they were the two shoes on my feet.
tlshy polished shoes covered with useful inforna-
uon IN pencil are superior to cuffs. because, unless
the light strikes them at the proper angle the
marks on them can't be distinguished Besides,
you're less likely to arouse suspicion when you
study the floor ntently buried in deep thought than
you are when you're twisting and turning and
pulling at your sleeves.
What, for the sake of curiosity, I'd like to learn
however, Is whether this form OF cheating is as
common now as II was when I was being edu-
Gated. II the truth must be told-and believe in
among ourselves of helping ourselves over hard
places by means OF 'cribbing.' I was as familiar
Wth all that was to be said against dishonest prao-
uces tnen as am now, and I'm not defending
tnoH NeYertheIeas, We crtbbed when we could
and we didn't lose caste
We considered certain instructors ana certain
tough incomprehensibls branches fair game,
A Asn9 we beat them by hook or crook. generally by
pom. not to mention seven or eight shining
nsnes 4 eondd name, would bs sophomores at this
molHsnt ~ lt hadn't been for our cuffs and shoes
ana ticker tape eoilsd II watch cases mInus their
nas ossn improving IA this respect Providenos
New-York tribune., 1905-07-16
IRON USED AS MONEY.
Ancient History Tells of Team of Horses
Required to Move S88.

FIutareh says: Not content with this uhe equal
gus) resolved to make division movables toe
hat there might be odous distinction inequality
among them; but finding that very dangerous
70 go about it openly he took another
their ayarice by the following stratagem: commanded
hat all gold and silver coin should be called H. that
ohy certain kind OF money made Of iron should be
current A great weight and quantity little
worth, so that 10 lay twenty thirty
was required a pretty large closet, and
this money at number Of vices banished
from Lacedamonia for would another of such
eoinf Who would unjustly detain take by force,
accept as brtbe, thing which
credit have, indeed any in pieces?
For when It Just red hot they quenched vinegar
by that means spelling it, and made it almost incapable
OF being worked"
Clare In his Universal History OF the Word' volume
H. page bsb ITO the dependent only
on Its territorial products
Vloua from accumulatng undue amount wealth,
iron coin with small value in comparison with it's
bulk and weight that the necessity of using It as a
medium OF exchange would make II difficult
trade. especially foreign BY subecting this
any other use Lycurgus endeavOred destroy every
sire to hoard It a treasure"
Rollin his Ancient History" volume / page 6s7
First he Lycurgus down all gold and silver
that OF on which he made very heavy and hxed al
so low rate that cart and
carry home sum Of 10 nina 600 French vres
SIS S0) and whole chamber keep
This done for the sapping foundation
of avarice.
From the above quotations would seem that while
valuable Justify being coined into money
II seems that team Of could haul SSS worth
OF coin. presume the of might haul one
dfth that value Of iron at the present dae(scentnc
New-York tribune., 1905-07-16

ing the summer with Mrs ogiiviss parents, Mr..
and Mrs. Searles Babbitt, at The Breakers Allen
hurst N. J. Mr.. and Mrs. Ogilvie have rented their
mouse at NO SI4 Sterling Place and viii spend next
winter at The Creston, No. SAG West End-ave.
Recent departures from town include John T.
Pierrepont and the Misses P1errepont, OF No,
Pterrepont Place. to Northeast Harhor. Me-; Mr.
and Mrs, Seth Low, Of East 64th-st Manhat-
tan. to Northeast Harbor. Me-; Mr. and Mrs
GuIan Ross. of F1ske Place. to the Edgemere
Cub Edgemere Long Island; Mr. and Mrs Charles
l. Rickerson, of Sth-ave.. to Santa Cruz Lodge
Haines Falls n. Y; Mr.. and Mrs. Fred J. Finch
OF Sth-ave. to Spring Lake. n. J.; Mr. and Mrs
Mrabeau Lamar Towns OF sth-ave to Saratoga:
Mrs William r. Stmons of st. Mark save to
BeechWold' Sayville, Long Island: Mr. and Mrs
FRANK jerks, of Dean-st., to Sea Gate N Y; Mr.
and Mrs. A A. Low, of Pierrepont Place, to Camp
Marian. Horseshoe, n. Y; Mr.. and Mrs. William G.
Low jr., Of Grace Court, to Boulder Cottage BrIs-
tol R. l.; Mr.. and Mrs. Frank Lyman of Remsen-
st., to Northampton. Mass; Mr.. and Mrs Alden g.
Swan, Of Columbia Heights to Poland Springs
house south Poland, Ne. Miss Florence e, Mar
YIN, or WiloW-st, to the Bartlett cottage, North
east Harbor, Me-; Mrs. Lindley Murray, jr., of
Island Mrs. Charles Merrill and the Misses Mer1
Till, or Cunton-aVe., TO the Monmouth House Spring
Lake n. j.; Mr.. and Mrs William H Burger OF
SAnton-aVe;, 10 Glen Cove, Long Island; Mrs.
Bar Harbor, Ne; Mr.. and Mrs Peter Geddes of
Stlnton-aYe, TO the United States Hotel, Saratoga
Mrs. J, stuart Brown, Of Clinton-aVe., to Airing
ton Vt; Mrs. William H. Meserole, Of st. Marks
and, and Mr. and Mrs. John A. Taylor of South
OXford-st, to Hussock. Weekapaug, r l.
New-York tribune., 1905-07-16
HOW INDIANS SPREAD NEWS.
Greeks Have Speedy Communication That Is
a Marvel to Whites.

me rapidly with which the news Of orders given
Ont from the Union Indian agency and the Dawes
COMMISSION spreads to the renotest corners Of the
creek nation is q continual source Of wonder to the
federal officials When, IN October the regulation
compelling Indians to accept the pay for their lana
IN instalnents OF SO month was announced II
seemed that every Indian IN the Creek ooun+r,,
Ane" II al once for the petitions for sale dronnad
Oh "llllsala1ely a few days ago. when the order
was revoked and the Indian was allowed - ~
for his land at the rate OF $50 a month tta,, py
everybody knew It the next day, and businass -
me creek land sales department suddenly became
lively again.
-en IL Is remembered that there ara sa,,.u.,
l-'-saha 1uAnooced Indians IN the Creel .
WHO cannot speak read a word ~ -, l4aIioh
have no way Of learning the ye-- o< -I-SI!sh and
eepl by word Of mouth the speed vritI, 80 "a
teligence IS communicated to then, e r4 1-.' ~
InaIkaD4e' Most Of the fullhloods live a. +ho
mis- and mountains. far from railroads ana -
.rS s "AeIe oai4y or even weekly papers are
seldom or never read.
General Pleasant Porter, chief OF +ba ,-ra.,, -.
ton, the best Informed man IN his tribe I,bar
S-Ae1 10 explain the phenomenon said signia-
- may be mental telepathy. Let me ask Won
=, Nessl4gL. HoW does the buzzard, flying through
le 1-T, learn tllat an animal has teen Killed and
less time than II takes to tell about ~ y scene 9 IN
interests the as the newspaper reading white
people
9ly people have formed the habit OF communi-
eating whatever interests them to their neighbors
and asking them 10 pass IL Every train that
leaves MuskoEee IS loaded with Indians who Know
personally Of an order. They pass the word along
and II spreads Ike wildhTe. In the early days the
creeks had regular couriers who carried the news
one Of these would visit a town, and al sundo%1
ne people would gather around him and hear the
lltoIinailon he had 10 impart- The town king
would then detail some one TO pass Il on to the
members Of the next town tribe. and the same
method would be repeated
Il have known" said the chief. growing reni-
miles day with important messages one morn
ing during the Creek rebellion 7 sent a messenger
out 20 gct volunteers for my army, and before the
sun set twelve hundred men into my camp
Warriors had way OF announcing the approach
Of an enemy by giving warwhoops. If the wells
followed closely one after another, the enemy was
near. One prolonged whoop indicated that the
enemy was many miles distant, with no danger of
immediate ettack.'-(Kansas City Journal
New-York tribune., 1905-07-16
SENSIBLE BRIDES.
Those Who Attend Summer Schools Of rr
mestic Science

June Is suggestion OF all that is pertect aud ths
June bride has long been the seasons most loved
and admired beauty OF creation. world OF tn
terest centres In her. How she win look what shs
viii wear. the variety OF her trousseau. the has
mony OF its cOlorinSs. which frOck VIII receive t1S
most attention and which hat Is the most becoming
these considerations for ageS have cOmmanasd
wOman's mind and mans pocketbOOk.
visit 10 the School OF Domestic Arts and sci
ence, No 50 State-St. reveals some OF the bensnis
OF evolution. The school has been in session al
the year, but, In order to accommodate ths large
demand OF patronage. tt has opened summer
term The school, instructs In the art OF e0okings
millinery and dreSsuaaking-al the things that e9-
pecially interest a young bride. Tine Wnsu
the all absorbing question was what gOWnInakar
and what milliner were responsible for tha brides
lOyeliness: but time Is when the most marvellous
eeyelopment is how much the prospective bride -
doing for herself. To-day she Is not 0ny 4 thtns
OF beauty, but promises 20 be 10y forever Tor sne
IS learning 20 care fOr the inner man and khs ouT
womans-tChicako Tribune
New-York tribune., 1905-07-16

He is one of three officers now in the regiment
who have risen to commission from the ranks
The other two officers who have this distinction
Major Huston and Captain De Russy. All the
other officers came from outside the regiment
Major Buck was known as a popular and efficient
nation.
1t is not yet certain who will succeed him Can
tain Nelson B. Burr, OF Company B. is next in line
for promotion. Captains H. S. Dudley and N It
Robb, who had been In Europe, returned last weex
While in France they witnessed some of the mill
part
Lieutenant Cornelius Vanderbilt viii return from
his cruise in September next Company C won the
baseball game last Sunday against the hospitaI
corps with score OF to IL Company r has fssuad
tickets for picnic at Manhattan casino on the
night OF August T.
Barretoes Point. on the Sound. where the ath-
letic grounds Of the regiment are located. can be
St the er tgeTag pSet to the s5g S@Ps0n 5
to the ground runs
First Sergeant scanIon. OF Company H. 6sth Regi-
ment has been elected second lieutenant
The fourth division OF the I'd Naval Battalion
has decided TO make cruise up the sound from
August 10 to 26 in the Aileen The first stop VIII
be made at Shelter Island and Newport. Block ISL
The men win be exercised in ship roYtfns sG5
will be given opportunity to &c ashore at the
different stops.
Lieutenant c. B. Fish. OF Company D. 22d Regf-
ment who was recently elected captain is pre-
pairing 20 so before the Brigade Beard Sergeant
w. Rqrtis, in the same company. has been elected
second lieutenant. Tho rifle team OF the regiment
has taken Up practice at CreedmOor.
Lieutenant Everett II. Miller. OF Company K OF
2Sd Regiment. has resigned on account OF removal
from the State He Joined the regiment as a prf-
vats In June, 1898. and served in successive grades
up 20 his election a second lieutenant July f6
1903. Company X has decided to visit Amityvlle
on Labor Day. The will start on the Friday
night previous, with supply Of tentage. First
OF Company X. are already in the field ss candi-
dates for the position OF second lieutenant. Cap
tain Blanton OF Company G, who has been on the
Pacific Slope on leave has returned
Colonel John G. Eddy. Of tho 47th Reginent Is
at present acting brigade commander IN the Sec
ond Brigade vice McLeer. who is acting as COM
mandsr OF the National Guard. in the absence OF
Major General Roc Lieutenant Colonel Barthuan
o. tho s7th, Us az present on leave In Maine. and
this leaves the regiment IN command Of Major
New-York tribune., 1905-07-16
SOMETHING WRONG.

Now. Henry" she began. with set Jaw, "I
must have $50 to-day"
"An right" replied her husband, here It is"
@Gracious Henry" she exclaimed, suddenly
paling whats the matter7 Are you sick."-
philadelphia Press.
New-York tribune., 1905-07-16
THE NATIVE PEssIMIsT.

Foreigner-Why DO you have long period
between the election Of your President and his
inauguration?
Native-To give the people time to forget the
promises he made while he trying to get
the oflce.-(Chicago Tribune
New-York tribune., 1905-07-16
NATIONAL GUARD NEWS.

Major Thomas c. Buck. Of the 18th Regiment. has
resigned account OF business. He served with
the command in the war with Spain captain
He first Joined the regiment private in Com
pany on July T. 1894. He was made a corporal
May IT, 1896; second lieutenant. July l. 1885, first
lieutenant. january IA. 1885, captain April q, 1895
and major, January ., 1900.
New-York tribune., 1905-07-16

Dances and entertainments given at the
Greenwich casino aeernate Saturday evenings.
Among the guests Saturday before last were Miss
Mary G. Maxwell. Mi and Mrs. Colby NJ. Chester,
f.. Charles A. Moore. Mr.. and Mrs. Francis II.
Wurster the Misses Wurster Mr.. and Mrs, Ed
ward I. Rossiter, Mr.. and Mrs b II. Barnes and
Miss Beatrice Barnes.
New-York tribune., 1905-07-16
BROOKLYN SOCIAL WORLD

From Greenwich, Conn. comes news of the an
gagement Of Miss Carolyn S. Wurster, daughter Of
Frederick W. Wurster, OF No. 10 Rodney-st and
Ralph Perry, son OF Mrs. Cornelius Perry. of No.
142 Joralemon-st. Miss wurster was graduated
from Smith College in 1900 Mr.. Perry is a member
OF the Crescent Athletic Club. The enlargement OF
Miss Bertha N Wurster and William Robert Couch
was announced last week.
Mr. and Mrs. Edward 8. Brownson OF Manhzt-
tam announce the engagement of their daughter,
Miss May Brownson, TO Gervan Pearce Kenway OF
Wales, but who has made his home in this city for
several years. The Brownsons formerly lived at
No. 40 Garden Placs. They are spending the sum
mer at Wakefield r 1.
Another engagement recently announced Ia that
OF Miss Blanche Creighton Morrison. daughter Of
Mr. and Mrs. Cornelius Morrison Of No 70 Canarsie
Lane. and Arthur Wellington Opp. son Of Mr.. and
Mrs John Opp, of No. ISL Vernon-ave. Mr. Opp is
a graduate of Adelphi College and the Columbia
Law School.
An out-of-town wedding OF interest to this bor-