Los Angeles herald., 1905-06-03
Pi-limeS and Pick-upS
It spruno a Leak

" Sprung Leak
The votes are counted, and we know
That exc we may obtain our smile;
The lager will be flowing on
For many days. And yet awhile
The festive cocktail may be had
Most any time but once week.
The stein is on the table, for
The water wagons sprung a leaki
The wine may still be looked upon
When II IS red, or pale or whites
The booze" is ready as of yore,
In the black bottle evry night;
The punch, the julep and the sling
You now may have, IL you bespeak
The man behind the counter, for
The water wagons sprung leaki
If you can't find seat in n theater,
now, you cant go in. No more standees.
How widely the theaters and the troll
ley cars differl
! Gen. Nodzu Of the japanese army
spent the winter rest in learning type
writing Does he need stenography to
report his victories--are they so many7
one man in New York city, re-
fused a free pass has dragged the
whole theatrical trust into court. What
warning that should be to the rail-
roads!
Strangely enough, most every nation
speaks of him as the little brown bro
ther' since the Jap has demonstrated
his prowess.
In riches do not put your trust
The rule is old and very wise,
But he hath wisdom overplus
Who puts not riches in trust,
! Likewise.
Henry Watterson has left Venice in
disgust and fast steamer Too much
water Marse Henry?
Paris declares that the Japanese can
not be taken seriously. Paris, when
she tries, will find 'em hard to catch
in any way; her ally does
The trouble was that the grafters
thought the people of Philadelphia
would sleep forever It's a long nap
that knows no waking, and sometimes
a yawn is almost an earthquake.
If Tom Lawson is $1,000, 900 poorer
than he was a year ago, he. must havo
been playing his own tips.
The duke had wooed her long and oft,
But, somehow, she would never hear.
At last he got his congo. Thus
She was a girl without peer.
Although we may fear that we have
descended from monkeys that should
MT bother us. Rather, let us so 1.-Two
that our posterity need have no such
lapprehensions.
Are you holding your own?" asked
the old man of his prospective son-in-
law.
Not now, sir. But wait till the gas
is lowered, and perhaps she'll let me-"
In Chicago, a brick in the hand
counts for much more than hodful in
a building.
It is now Linevitchs turn. Perhaps
Oyama will make the turn for him.
Moses has been fined for "toting gun"
The trials of Moses nearly equal those of
Job.
A smart comic opera composer has laid
the first scene Of a new production in a
barnyard. Thus he can introduce the
fatted calves without offense.
Just as soon as that seeing telephone is
in general use the bathrobe conversations
will cease abruptly and forever.
The folding bed has again got in it's
deadly work. Serves anyone right for
sleeping in a iack-knife couch, anyhow.
1t has been limited that Burbank is now
at work producing a pruneless prune, for
boarding house use exclusively.
No One Waits for Me to Die
L give no libraries to towns
(When they have paid me half the
COST;
1 found no churches, full equipped
To save the soul that's almost lost;
aid no teachers broken down,
form no scholars pension fund;
build no palace home wherein
TO house in ease no-fight bund
Poor as a church mouse yet am T.
But no one waits for me to die!
[ own no oil wells spouting high;
No banks have l upon my string;
In Wall street men have passed me by
And nodded not l am no king
OF steel or ships or corn or wool;
No Corners" tremble on my froWni
In fact, L am so little known
1 may say l have no renown.
Poor as a church mouse yet am Il
But no one waits for me to die!
w. H. c.
JOHN z. WHITE COMING
viii Deliver Lectures Througho;
Halifnrnia