The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-04-14

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this case as I know it to be, and
don't want any further Interruptions.
The tenderfoot comes out here from
the east on the advice of his doctor.
He's got asthma like a Wind-broken
boss For the first four weeks he
hasn't got voice enough to cuss the
kentry nor jump a Chinyman outer
his road. He improves after a time,
but is still breathin' away like a bust
ed bellers when Hank Thompson runs
across him and invites him over to his
shack to read Shakespeare to him.
II might go on and tell this crowd
who and what Shakespeare is, but it
would only waste the time of the peo-
pie. The tenderfoot, who is feelin'
homesick and lonesome, accepts the
invitation. No Shakespeare is brung
out. Instead of him, Hank produces a
bottle of red-eye and a poker deck,
and he uses a heap of soft-sa Wder to
get the tenderfoot to play. This yere
Pilgrim knows about as much about
about singin' hymns, and after an
hour he is cleaned out. Even when
he knOWed what sort of a man he had
agin him Hank couldn't play a squar'
game. I have the pack of keerds in
my desk yere, and 1 find six aces
among it.
'sThe Pilgrim got onto the cheat
and demanded. his money back, but
Hank laughs in his face and tells him
to come to me for jestice and be
hanged to him. The Pilgrim comes.
He don't come gallopin' in and de-
mandin' a hunk, but he drops in kind O.
keerIessly and waits till m at liberty to
leSSly and waits till I'm at liberty to
attend to his case. I asks him if he
has any sand. He replies that no
wind-broken man kin have it. asks
him if he ever shot a man, and he
answers that he skassly knows one
end of a gun from the other. He's
a half-dead tenderfoot, fur, fur, from
home, and he's got to depend on the
law to help him out.
you all know what I'd have ad-
vised him if he's been well man. I'd
have lent him a gun and put him on
Hanks trail, and told him to shoot his
money out of the teller, but as he
wasn't I had to give him law. Hank
Thompson, wat you got to say for
YOURSELF"
Il never put them two aces in the
pack, Your Honor"
NO? It's probable that Providence
did it, or they grew legs and walked
in. How much of his fifty have you
got Ieft?"
About $40 I reckon
well, you reckon it over to him
mighty fast. He'll have to charge the
other ten uD to experience and Shake
sentence you to be hung, nor yit to
states prison, but it kin and do advise
a change of climate. You'll have TO
pay the costs, which is six dollars, and
then you'll have five minits in which to
weep on the shoulder Of your shyster
lawyer. When them five minits is up
you git move on you. 1 don't keer
which way you head. but you must
make a start and keep goin', and if you
return yere within the next six months
it will be considered contempt of court
and treated accordingly"
Il object to these proceedings as sub
versive Of justice" exclaimed the attor-
ney. who had spoken before.
docs subversive mean that I'm not
dealin' out jestice?"
ssThen it's the same as calm the
court a, liar, and the matter viii be at
tended to in about Is minits. Mean
while the constable will see that Hank
ponies up and takes a skip, and I will
call the next case. This is the case of
Jim Wheelock VS.. Joe Baker. Jim is
ridin' along on his way to Primrose
Hill so gaily o, when he meets up with
Joe on foot. Jim is well heeled, as a
man orter be, but Joe is dead broke and
on his uppers. Joe sees Jim a-coming'
and picks up a stick, and when jim
draws nigh he's regularly held up for
his whole outfit He has two guns
strapped to the small of his back, but
he willis without tryin' to fire shot.
Yes, he comes down from that cayuSe
o. his and hands everything over like a
good Sunday skule boy, and all Joe has
to do is to climb up and canter away.
1T don't seem possible that yere IN
the twentieth century a man could be
found to bring such disgrace on this
commonwealth, but I'm sure of my
facts Joe rides away and Jim sots
down and sheds tears for an hour and
then starts for this town of Sandy Bend
to hoIIer for jestice. He bursts his way
into the Red Dog jest at my busiest
hour. and yells:
I'm wantin' jestice, and want it
quicki
Who agin?' asks I.
'Agin a critter called Joe Baker.
What did he do?'
4 Held me up on the highway.
How many chunks Of lead did you
IRE into him afore you come down!
). Nary a one. was de2endin' on jes-
tfce to punish him
s.rhink O. that, my friends! man as
has lived in this west for the last 80 years
and all that time been carry1n two guns
around with him. acknowledge that ne
was held up by an insignificant crlIteT
like the prisoner and never even pullln
a shooteri Alasi that we should nave
lived to see the dayl
II grants Jim jesticei That is, issue
a warrant and the constable finds Joe and