Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-01-28
HIS VIEWS OF HAz|NG
Gay Young Sophomore Says
It is ALI Right.
GOOD FOR FRESHMEN
FINE REMEDY FOR TOO MUCH
SELF-CoNCEIT.
Living UP to the Traditions of College
Life-No Harm Meant and
Seldom Any Done.

Written for The Evening Star by Sophomore.
Say, do you remember the rumpus that
was kicked up just before Christmas when
some Columbia sophs tried to extend an in
vitation to that fresh Gould kid to attend
their dinner? Well, what do you think? A
lot of people who never went to college and
all the fond parents of mamma-boys have
been going around ever since saying what
an awful thing hazing is, and it ought to
be stopped, and the authorities are stony
hearted to let 1t go on, and we sophs are
just the cruelest. most impolite boys in the
world. So there!
Say, they don't know what they're talk
ing about, and, what's more, they wouldn't
be talking now If the sophs had tried to
take any other freshie but young Gould
That's right. Just because it was Gould,
everybody in the land talked. They wouldn't
have heard a word about the rumpus If the
freshman had been Jones or Smith, or some
other unheard-of greene.
Well, that's on the side. What I want
to say is, that hazing Is all right, and If
the solicitous parents Of mamma boys only
knew 1t, hazing, as conducted on the lines
laid down by sophomores, has made man
of many freshman who, when he left
his skin and yelled Mammal if you said
said Boo" to him in broad daylight.
dazing Is good for a lot of other things,
too, but first let me show you what
mean when say it's fine for making over
mamma-boyS into men.
There was a kid entered college with
me last year who was just about the sweet
est little lady you've ever laid eyes on
Why. once when we'd proposed to paint
the college fence at night with our class
colors and year, he got up in meeting and
said. In just the loveliest voice imaginable:
Mother told me not to break any of the
college rules, and I fear I'll be breaking a
college rule if help you paint the fence
So hope you'll excuse me and let me stay
In my room tonight"
Sticklers for Tradition.
Mother said! What does mother know
about college rules? Why, If we hadn't
painted that fence. we'd have broken a
college tradition, and dfsgraced ourselves
In the eyes Of the whole student body, and
the faculty, too. Say, do you know that
the '.profs,'' who do an awful lot of talk-
Ing about hazing for effect, while they wink
the other eye at us, are every bit as great
sticklers for tradition as we are? That's
right. Corner one Of 'erA with this accu-
sation and see what he'll say. I'll bet he'll
say something after the styles of Prexie
Butler Of Columbia, when he was asked
about that Gould rumpus. He said hazng
was all right, but the boys ought to keep
1t from the public, or words to that ef-
feet
But about that mamma boy He sealed
his fate then and there, did Miss Myers.
That night a half dozen of us, who felt
ourselves particularly disgraced by having
such a nice little lady among us, and not
caring to wait until the sophs went to Miss
Myers room, got through the door by put
ting our combined weight against 1t, per-
suaded the frightened kid to arise from his
oa1 hny cno ffy,r ON f1n So1a IL
beside his students lamp, handed him what
the woman we bought it Of said was a
stamped rose pattern centerpiece, and
thread and needle and told him to get to
work like the good little girl he was.
He got to work. 1t took him ten minutes
to hook the thread and needle together
, thank heaven he wasn't so sissy as we had
thought-and then he started to do black
roses-Lord only knows why the woman
gave us black thread. We let him struggle
for half an hour, squirting him on when his
fingers showed signs of weakening or spent
too long a time sucking his fingers, from
which he drew blood every whip-stitch or
so. Then one of us took the sewing from
Miss Myers hands and we all examined it
critically and made suggestions and so on,
but all agreed that he'd done such fine work
1T didn't look any more like rose than
my cap-that he ought to finish the piece.
So we set him to work again, and he worked
and pricked his fingers and sucked 'em and
got blood all over the roses until midnight.
bed in our arms and fondly and gently
tucked him in and patted his cheeks and
said Sweet dreams, darling" to him.
Quick Results.
The next day the class had another meet
ing to arrange for that fence expedition.
We'd no sooner passed up the roll call and
the reading of the minutes and got down to
the real business Of the day when up jumps
Miss Myers.
Mr.. President" he says in a voice that
was far from ladylike, I've been thinking
matters over over night, and if it's not too
late I'd like to have the place on the COM
mittee refused yesterday
T For a minute we all sat paralyzed. We
hadn't looked for such quick results. Then
those of us who had taken part in the sew
ing bee got our senses and led in cheer
that made Miss Myers blush with modesty.
Well he got back on the committee, and
he not only carried a pot, but did big
share Of the dobbing; and when some one
proposed that we paint the old dome, why,
wasn't that kid the first to speak up and
say he'd do it-and he did, though he had
to crawl up the steep sides and hold on by
the skin Of his teeth, as he put 1907
where all the world could see
We haven't called him Miss Myers since
then, and he is one of the honored members
of our class, because hazing made him see
the error of his ways. If it hadn't been for
hazing the. world would have been afflicted
with another "old woman later on. See
the point?
Good for Conceit.
Then there's another good thing that haz-
ing Does More freshmen than you think
come to college knowing they're the whole
show. They've graduated with honors
from high school; they've told their proud
w-townsmen in their commencement
essays how to conquer the world in a
minute and pointed out why the old folks
haven't got along better than they have;
they've been escorted to the railroad sta
ton by their best girl and a band and
papa and mamma and Rugged and kissed
goodbye to the seat of learning on the
heights, and so they come to college as
chock full of conceit as / was of Christmas
turkey and trimmings about month ago.
Now, what's worse than a conceited kidY
Nothing much-and we know 1t, we sophs,
as we look back on our own first fresh
man days, and realize what idiots we were,
and thank our lucky stars that the juniors,
who were sophs then, saved US from the
penalties of our conceit. So this year,
early, we spotted the youngsters who had
cornered all the knowledge of the universe
and started out to save ,em. We saved
most of them, and this is the way we did
II.