The Newtown bee. (Newtown, Conn.) 1877-current, 1905-07-28
THE HOME CIRCLE.
WANTED-A MINISTER.



And though candidates are plenty
We've had at least score,
All OF them "tip-top" preachers.
Or so their letters ran
We're just as far as ever from settling on
man.
The first who came among us by no means
was the worst,
But then we didn't think of him, because he
was the first,
1t being quite the custom to sacrifice a few,
Before the church in earnest determines what
There was a smart young fellow with serious,
earnest ways,
Who, but for one blunder, had surely won the
day;
Who left SO good impression, ON Monday one
| two
| Went round among the people to see if he
would do.
The pious, godly portion had not a fault to
find,
! His clear and earnest preaching they thought
the very kind;
And all went smooth and pleasant until they
heard the views
OF some Influential sinners who rent the
highest pews.
On these his pungent dealing made but a
sorry hit;
The coat of gospel teaching was quite too tight
q fit.
OF course his fate was settled-attend ye
| parsons all!
And preach to please the sinners If you
| would get call.
And next there came dandy.
| He wore his hair too long,
Another's coat was shabby, his voice not over
strong,
And one New Haven student was more than
| all Of those
We couldn't heed the sermon for thinking OF
| his nose.
Then wearying of candidates. we looked the
| country through, =,
Mid doctors and professors. to find one thai
would do
And after much discussion on who should bear
the ark
With tolerable agreement, we fixed on Dr.
Park.
Here, then, We thought it settled, but we're
amazed to find
Our flattering invitation respectfully declined,
We turned to DR. Hopkins to help us in the
lurch,
| Who strangely thought that college had
| claims above our church.
|
| threes, to urge
Splurge.
his STYLE
Followed the creaking OF his boots as he
| passed up the aisle.
divine,
| A ladv fafptad in the hvmn hefora Tho second
And on that day he gave US, in accents clea
| and loud.
| The greatest prayer ever addressed to an en-
lightened crowd.
| He preached double sermon, and gave us
| angels food,
On such lovely topic, 1.-THE joys OF solitude, -
ALI full of sweet descriptions, OF flowers and
| pearly streams
OF warbling birds and moonlit groves and
| golden sunset beams.
OF faith and true repentance he nothing had
to say;
He rounded all the corners, he smoo he'd the
rugged way;
Managed with great adroitness to entertain
| and please,
And leave the sinners conscience completely
at its ease.
Eight hundred is the salary we gave in former
| days.
We thought it very liberal and found 1t hard
to raise.
B when we took the paper. we had no need
to urge,
10 raise cool two thousand for the Rev
| Shallow Splurge.
In vain were all our efforts, we had no chance
at all,
We found ten city churches had given him a
| CALL
And he in prayerful waiting, was keeping
them in tow,
But where they paid the highest it was
! whispered he would go.
And now good Christian brothers, we ask your
earnest prayers
That God would send shepherd to guide our
church affairs,
With this clear understand, a man to meet
| our views
| Must preach to please the sinners, and I'LL the
| vacant peWS.