davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
IFrom the Chieago News.l

From the Chicago NeWs.I
stage money comes under the head Of
play bills.
A man never lowers himself by at
tempting to lift others up
why is it that the majority of di-
vorced women marry again?
There are but few contented people
who do not occupy space in cemeteries
Although a modern woman may make
her own clothes she seldom boasts Of
il.
A few songs live forever. but the most
of them are murdered by amateur vo-
calists.
Lightning very seldom strikes twice
in the same plaee-probably because the
place isn't there.
For how many centuries has the old
hen continued to work her little sheH
game unmoiested!
1t IS the man who secures position
that draws a salary: the man who gets
a Job is paid wages
Chronic kiekers never realize now
foolish they really are until the reaction
begins to get busy.
Girls would spend more time thinking
beautiful thoughts if more OF our young
men were mind readers.
An old bachelor says that matrimony
is an excellent training school for wo-
men who are ambitious to enter the lee
ture aeld.
If a woman is too i'll to visit bar
gain sale for the purpose Of getting rio
Of her money she sends for doctor and
blows Il In that way.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23

have been made on Mr.. Leland it is
doubtful If anyone ever criticised his
business ability. and few there be, even
among his bitterest enemies, who
would so much as slur his business in
tegrity.
It is doubtful if there was another
man in the state of Kansas with the
business capacity of Mr.. Leland whose
other AFFAIRS would let him give the
personal attention to the Devlin estate
that Mr. Leland has. and the action of
the creditors shows that they are more
than satisfied with the manner in
which he and his associates have con-
Quoted the involved affairs of the late
Mr.. Devlin.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Wonder If Vic Murdoch is swamped
yet with those essays on toothpicks for
which Fred Vandegrift offered a prize.
This is the last call. It is too late
now to come early and avoid the rush.
If the wages of sin were paid in adj
vance the population figures of this
old earth would be far less than they
are.
That hve-cent counter. isn't apt to
look nearly so attractive next Tues
day
Oh, joyl Only three more days until
the school ma'ams VIII make their an
nuaI appearance in Topeka.
1T seems that the car is granting
universal suffrage to all the Russians
again-perhaps as a Christmas pres
ent this time
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
[From the Philadelphia record.

LFrom the Philadelphia Record
A man can be bubbling over with
spirits and still be a prohibitionist
A tack on a yacht is worth two on
the floor, II you are in your bare feet.
The fellow who is fired with enthusi-
asn over a new Job isn't apt to be
fired.
The moonshiner believes that trouble
is brewing when he really means dis
tillirg.
The mr. tree" remarked the cross
roads wit, "is never bare. and that ain't
lynn
Tommy-''AGy mothers got an seeor-
dion skirt" BObby-"Cee! can YOU NAV
on it?'
The gambler always has a sunptu-
ously appointed room, which proves that
his room is better than his company.
Nell-"That Prudely girl is so mean
so small, that I can't see her at All she
Isn't visible to the naked eye Belle
fPerhaps it's the naked eye that causes
her to shrink"
Blobbs-"There is no harm in an IN
nocent Irritation" Slobbs-s.T DONE
know about that. I know a fellow who
tried it, and the first thing he knew 4hs
girl had him married.
Customer asked for a. porlx cbor =,
Waiter-''That's a pork Choir. sirT
Customer-"Oh! is it? I thought par-
haps you had misunderstood me srd
brought pig IRON
Wigg-'I tell you there's a great 5fe-
ference between these alleged r7fI1i0T.
ares. W agg-Yes some Of them have
the million without the airs. and son,s
nave the airs without the Million
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23

The telephone system of Paris leaves
considerable to be desired, and meets
with constant complaint on the part Of
the subscribers. One Of the latter en-
deavored to test the speed of the various
means of communication of the city,
sending messages in different ways
from his rooms in the Rue Richelieu,
in the center Of the city. to a friend
on the Avenue de la Grande Armee near
the Bots de Boulogne. He found that
bicycle messenger made the trip in II
minutes and Is seconds, as compared
with % minutes for a cab. A message
sent via. the metropolitan railway re-
CURED 81 minutes. by omnibus 81 min
utes, a telegram So minutes, message
nv the pneumatic tube 3 hours, while
the message sent by telephone did not
arrive at all-Harper's Weekly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23
KAMSAS cOMMENT


c. ". Bowman, the defaulting treas
urer of Phillips county, is recovering his
Kelly nerve He has written his rather
a proposition to be submitted to the
county commissioners which is, in ef-
feet, a compromise. Bowman admits
that he stole $4,000 in cold cash that the
commissioners have not yet discovered
A few days ago his attorney and his
father appeared before the commission
ers and offered them a package, claim
ing to contain the SIS. 900 in currency,
providing they would sign an agreement
to drop the prosecution. You will re-
member that when the county clerk OF
Phillips county, a Republican, brought
charges against Bowman, q Democrat,
the latter claimed it was simply politi-
cal persecution. That sort Of talk is
what has been saving Tom Kelly from
the penitentiary for three years.-Atchi-
son Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23
witty Widows Tilt with Curran.

john PhiIpot Curran, the famous irish
lawyer, ranks among the wittiest men
the Emerald Isle has ever produced. His
wit, however, was sometimes turned
against himself by the intended victim,
the following story, taken from the vol
ume of biographical "reminiscences. en-
titled Mrs. Brookfeld and Her Circle"
furnishing an amusing example of how
Curfan was once outdone
A brisk young widow used to preside
at the table of a coffee house patronized
by Curran. Her name was Honor, and
one day there was some disputed
charge.
CuTran winked at the friend who
happened TO be dining with him, and
proposed Honor and honesty"
by all means" added the widow,
briskly, holding her glass to be filed;
.let US dring to Mr.. Curran's absent
friends. '-CleveIand Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23
REFLECTIONS or A BACHELOR.
IFrom the New York Press.I

from the New 1ofk Ifess.I
It is easier to write some books than
it is to read them.
A man has to be married to know
the joys of being single.
You can hardly ever trust your eyes to
tell you what a woman really looks
like.
If man has enough drinks he can
make himself believe that everybody
thinks he hasn't had any.
A boy knows his business when he
laughs at his fathers Jokes, though he
couldn't laugh at them when he read
them in the paper.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23
..CheWine the a.,


''He kept chewing and chewing, yer
honor, and I threw him out"
Kept chewing what2'
HE kept on chewing the rag"
What rag? see no rag men,
toned in the indictment. This seems
to be an assault case 7 am not sup
posed to have even a nodding acuuain-
lance with all this slang and not any
more than I am expected to be able
to understand all the various Ian
guages of the African black"
It may come that Recorder Weir
and many others may care to hear of
its origin. That high honor belongs
to Tommy Atkins of the British army.
Walking his weary rounds on a
cold night, Tommy of the earlier days
was wont to carry a piece of cloth
rag between his teeth, tobacco at the
time being probably too expensive for
general and salivary purposes. That
rag the soldier boy chewed hard and
Iast, doubtless to keep his bad temper
from flowing out of him in words.
the while he kept muttering in his
throat his accumulation of grumbies
against all in authority over him, with
more particular reference to the in
dlViduaI who was responsible for his
peing on sentry go when the hard
pallet OF the barracks dormitory
would nave better filled the bill.
BY and by it came to be that all
discontented mutterings and com
plainIngs in an undertone came to he
SET down in the vocabulary of Tommy
Herald oi4ei O0i
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23

Brander Matthews, who holds the
chair of dramatic literature at Column
bia university, is a recognized FIRST
nlghter." It would be a daring young
playwright who would break the ira
dition of sending seats to the shrewd
but kindly critic of Morningside. Some
years ago, when Professor Matthews
was dramatic writer for the Nation. a
young acquaintance came to Broadway
with a tragedy. OF course, Mr.. Matthews
was pleased to attend the first per-
best in his friends effort. The next
morning he was asked how it took.
We'll" he said, after the first act I
applauded and the audience sat silent,
and after the second act sat silent and
the audience hissed.'
And after the third act?" some one
prompted. The critic fIecked the ashes
from a cigarette and smiled.
After the third act 1 went out and
bought ticket and came in and Missed
oo."-San Francisco Chronicle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23

A Kansas exchange says that as a
matter Of course Fred Dumont Smith
has q lot Of warm friends and svmpa-
thizers in the state house, because
''men OF that class generally have a
feeling for each other" There
are some men in the state, however,
who should not be regarded as men
OF that class" One does not hear as
much about them as about some 9TH
ers. but they exist.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23

That threat Of Mr.. Corey about the
dinner at which Anna Held was one Of
the entertainers may not have caused
it, of course. but Mr.. Henry F'rick has
decided to re-elect Mr.. Corey as presi-
dent OF the steel trust.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23
HVMOR OF TIE Day

Yeast-What fruit is there the most
money In?
observation-disclosures plums. ( guess.
-Yonkers Statesman.
you've been so prosperous this year
you ought to be very happy"
How can I be happy when amt got
a thing in the world to growI about?''-
Atlanta Constitution.
Your little dog" remarked subbubs.
looks very odd, What did you have his
we simply had to do it," replied Citi@
man; he Wagged it so much, and we live
in a fiat, you know. p Philadelphia Press. .
Faith will move mountains" declared
the optimistic citizen.
citizen. but viii It prove equally erica
cious in excavating isthmian eanais?'i-
Philadelphia Bulletin.
There's only one way to get anything
nowadays, and that's to work for it,
said the first citizen.
II guess that's right admitted tbs
CRATER. gloomily. Il wouldn't have agreed
with you a few days ago. but times have
changed. Detroit Free Press.
BLANK has just been showing me his.
new auto Fine macES=a isn't it7"
Yes. What do you think Is its strong
The odor.''-Detroit Free Press
wife-N4y dear. I can't understand why
AR--N-
Hubby-It comforts me to think that
the fashions never change in heaven
Puck.
Well my son at college has finally
a Suppose TSs = you l FEEL r gre rsiievsd7
only partially. He joins fraternity
organization next week - Louisville
Courier Journal
Miss olde-I never had so many beaux
as. you girls but I certainly had one adj
Mrs. asco-Indeedt And do you
stand before the mirror every DAYLIGHT
cago Tribune.
Shells it true nat your brother is go
ing to renarry his divorced Wife2
with her during the divorce trial that he
Tales from FIiegende Blatter.
Maude-Jaok Higgins has been calling
on me for. nearly three months. expect
a PROPOSAL soon.
was at least five months before ne pro
posed to me.-Columbus Dispatch.
kerr"
Haven't you heard7 am suffering
'Nonsensei You don't own an automo-
NO but cogger does. He let his MAJ
p
Chicago News.
Solicitor (sarcastically)-And would you
swear that these fowls belong to your
Prosecutor would
SoHcitor-Well, now then. Would you
be surprised if I told YOU that I have half
a dozen fowls at home exactly Ike
these?
Prosecutor-Not in the least. I'VE miss
ed about a dozen lately from the run
Punch.
Little Boston Girl-"Are you a cot
tager?" Little Harlem Boy-''No, I'm a
fatterer. Life.
Mrs. Asker-Do you find your new girl
strong and Wiliing2
Mrs. Sharpsent-Yes, strong and wiling
to remain so.-Exchange.
WaiteF-"Say, that football player
down there at the other end of the
counter is kicking about his steak" Pro-
prietor-"Let him kick. That won't do
any harm. If he s1ugs it. though, let me
know. Chicago Tribune
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23

1t is most likely Grover Cleveland viii
hike off south on duck hunt before
long. The club women are just now
on the hunt for Grover and something
viii be doing. They are just now send
ing a shower of Javalins into him, the
oretically speaking The women are up
in arms-three hundred thousand strong
and II Grover don't go down on the
Chesapeake after diamond backs they
VIII get him. And for what? Just be-
cause Grover says the club women
never have any use for the stork. Ia,
ia, Grover.-SaIina Union.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23

It appears from the reports that City
Attorney Dreaming has been out hust-
ling for the good Of city. viz; the re-
paving Of Kansas avenue. instead, Of
waiting for questions affecting the
city's welfare to come to him,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23
BETWEEN THE LIGHTS.

am gliding into the dark. the dark
To the sound OF a. dipping oar.
With the silent see. behind me spread,
and the silent sea before
And far on the height is the beacon light
left on the fading shore.
The waters swirl below below.
As the darkness swirls above;
The soft night brushes against my hand
With the rush Of a winging dove
And near on the height is the beacon light
That lights me to my love!
-Alice T. Tilden in National MAGAZINE.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23
ERON OTHER PENS
BAD FINISH FOR MORE NIAN.

A lady clergyman tells US that in
twenty-five years women have increased
in stature two and one-half inches and
men have decreased in the same degree.
If the sexes are thus getting apart five
inches in twenty-five years it is not diff
ficult to calculate how long it viii be
before man will be utilized by woman
merely as d lapdog or as a bangle for
her bracelet.-LouisvilIe Courier-Jour-
nal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23
IS THIS ALBERT REID?

The editor of the Leavenworth Post
eonfesses that his mother whipped him
till he was so big that his head touched
the floor on one side and his feet on
the other. That accounts for his being
such a model of pfoprfety now.-Wash-
ipgtons Republican, Register. s
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23

A learned Chicago doctor has made
the discovery that heas cause the
pneumonia just as certain mosquitoes
cause yellow fever. in spite of the fact
that many people who never saw moi
feIt a flea persist in having pneumonia.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23

ain America" says DR.. Emil Reich,
''the woman governs the man abso-
lutely. In a certain sense the last man
that came to America was Christopher
Columbus" But, if DR.. Reich will re-
member. It was a woman who mort
gagged her jewels to raise the money
that enabled Columbus to make his
Justly celebrated trip. Columbus was
gust like the rest Of us.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23

Among the things that you can buy
cheap at this Christmas tide are Rus
sian bonds. Nice bonds. printed on
good paper in blue and gilt ink. can
be had much below what they could
year ago. It is a wonder that none of
the department stores have offered
Christmas bargains in Russian bonds.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23

Editor McJimsey Of the st. Joseph
Gazette, intimates that when all the
entries are made for Burton's seat in
the senate he win be able to tell the
exact Republican male population Of
voting age in Kansas. Which leads
Father Beck of the Holton Recorder to
remark that fortunately we do not
have to talk Spanish to be eligible to
the United States senate. which is
where we have the advantage Of Nc
Jimsey.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23

In speaking of the indictments of
FIRED Dumont Smith and Assistant
Postmaster Higgins of Lansing. the
EIolton Recorder calls attention to the
fact that they were rampant reform
ers and boss busters and helped to de-
9eat Governor Bailey, as straightfor-
ward, honest and conscientious a gov
ernor as Kansas ever had. They are
evidently 1T associates for Kelly, Bur
rows. Dayhof and Coleman adds the
IlarnrEal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23

Score another for New York. It has
sent a prominent dishonest lawyer to
gati. The legal profession can stand a
little reformation. along this line also.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23

The State Journal Is a member Of the
Associated Press and receives the fun Gay
telegraph report OF that great news Or
8antEation Tor exclusive evening PUBL
cation in Topeka.
The State Journal receives for exclusive
publication the leased wire report OF tns
7 npIl8herq' Press for the edition for son-
day morning.
4he news is received in the state jour
nai building over wires Tor this sole pure
pQaa
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23
suRELY NOTf

OF the 100000 American citizens
now living in the Indian Territory,
there is said to be almost $4,000 who
will make no effort whatever to get
elected to some political job.-Coffey-
vile Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23

Kansas City is anxious to get the
next National Christian Endeavor con-
Wention. Topeka hopes Kansas City
gets it. The town needs something of
Eha SORT
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23

''Why Is it," asks an exchange,
''that most divorced women marry
bEain?" Why is it that most women
get divorced at all, and men, too, by
che way?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23

Another point Of difference in Mr.
Jimmie Hyde's latest dinner to a
French aetress is that it was not
charged up to the policy holders of the
Equitable
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23
NO PRESS AGENT NEEDED.

The Panama canal press agent has
been separated from his job by the
United States senate. The senate prob
ably took the view that a big show
like the Panama canal would draw all
right without advertising. - Salina
Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23
THE CAT CAME BACK

After an absence of four weeks the
six-toed gray cat has returned to the
White House and Secretary Loeb is
on the roof scanning the stars and
looking over the dream book to see what
this portends.-New Tofk Evening Tele-
gram.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23
ANsWEREp WHILE you WAIT.

Questions that have in vain engaged
the life long study and effort of other
men are settled by Mr.. Roosevelt as
pauses between his breakfast food and
his morning steak, or are decided in a
postscript to a typewriter letter-Bal-
timOre Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23

Resignation sweepstakes Two best
bets: 1. That McCall's- health is just as
poor as McCurdy's, who resigned. 2.
That Senator c. NJ. Depew's is ditto.
Note-Traek very Shiny. but Jockey
Hughes may be relied on to force the
running in muddy going.-Richmond
Times-Dispatch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23
ALICT's INNOvATION.

Miss Roosevelt has introduced an IN
novatiOn that will be very popular with
young men whether the youne women
approve or not. She has announced that
she desires no formal enga cement ring
from her fance, preferring an old
keepsake which he gave her some time
ago Observation-Disclosures News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23
~. q. b.

''Bin" Hackney Of Cowley, says he
will give the other candidates for Uni
ted States senator about the warmest
sprint in the coming contest they ever
had, and while he is about it viii re-
move the curse of the fatal success
sion" He says he doesn't care for the
position, but likes to let people know
"BilI' is still on the turf-Salina IN
ion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23

through this rebate, the court has
ordered the defense to produce '.Authy
E4n1
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23

The car has evidently taken this
noise he has been hearing lately for an
encore and he has just decided to grant
his people universal Suffrage again. This
will be the second time he has granted
them universal suffrage in two months.
Perhaps he intends to make a regular
thing of it. like bill collecting. When
the first Of the month approaches he
will perhaps take another installment
Of universal suffrage out Of the Office
safe and grant it to the people. What
a great system that will be? Later:
The car has CHI lsed his mind again.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23

Tams Bixby, of the Dawes commits
sion, has a scheme to wind up the af-
fairs of the Indian Territory. If it is
anything like the Dawes commission.
however. it is on the Waterbury watch
plan. 1t will take time to wind it
Salina Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23
PENALTY OF GREATNESS.

E1vLIas IIISIt 50 % Slt7IIl5- III 8 2
to jail, while a few specially favored
ones appear to be entitled to berths in
both places.-Baltiu1or Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23

1t seems that we may possibly find
out the real identity of %Authy 5401. -
who was responsible for that rebate
given by the Santa Fe to the Colorado
Fuel e. Iron company. 'Authy 54O1"
As the mysterious sign that appeared in
one corner Of the secret circular Issued
5v the santa Fe authorizing the Colo
RADIO Fuel special rate. In the suit in
the federal court at Albuquerque
wherein the Caledonian Coal company
Ga seeking to recover 100000 from the
santa Re and the Colorado Fuel COM
panv for damage done to its business
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23

The fact that Senator Depew got no
flowers on the opening day did not in
dictate that the people had forgotten
him The rules of the senate prohibit
the throwing of eggs from the galleries.
Houston Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23

Perhaps it was a Fellow feeling that
induced Vice President Fairbanks to
introduce a petition from New Jersey
spinstress providing pensions for the
lonely.-New York Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-23
TIE AMERICAN ARTICLE.

If Nicholas will keep an eye on Uncle
Joe Cannon for the next few months he
may learn something about the czar
business.-Ph Inquirer.