Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1905-06-23

when you proposed 10 He. MI. 0eAAS
Well, I was!-Cleveland Leader.
He-Do you read all the popular
novels Of the day? She-Gracious, no!
have just time to see how they end.
Eek.
He-As I sat there alone, Hilda
came along and offered me penny
for my thoughts. She-The extrava-
CANT creature!-Bost Transcript.
Old Gently poor child! Did not
your parents leave you anything when
they died? Poor Child-Yep! Dey left
me an orphan!-Boston Transcript.
"Oh, papa, the duke has proposed to
mew "He hasT" Eyes, papa. And
he says I can wear coronet! Here's
the pawn toicke for itv'-Cleveland
Leader.
Duffer-Tve been figuring on the ex-
penses Of an automobile, and I find
the greatest cost is the operation. Puff
Mechanical or surgical ?-Indianr
apolis Star.
Jim-Say, Bill, wot would yer do
IL yer had a million dollars? Bill
Oh, I s'pose I'd blow about half Nv
it maxim meself sick an de other half
tryin' ter find out wot wuz de matter
wild mex.
"What does the first expert say?"
'He says the prisoner is guilty" "And
the second expert?" "Not guilty"
'-There's a third expert, isn't there"
| y no
are liars" Houston Chronicle.
Of1cer-What is the complaint here?
Orderly Offering basin)-Taste that,
sir. Officer (tasting)-Well, think it's
excellent soup. Orderly-Yes, sir;
that's the trouble; they want to per-
suade us it's tea.-Glasgow Evening
Times.
Fond Young Mother with her first
born)-Now, which Of us do you think
he is like? Friend Gudicially)-Well
of course, intelligence has not really
dawned In his countenance yet, but
he's wonderfully like both Of YOU
Punch.
Broadway-Too bad about old Gott-
rocks. Manhattan-Why, what's the
matter with him? Broadway-He
started in to make enough money to
retire on, and made 50 much that he's
got to work overtime to take care OF
lt-L1fe.
(Which do you think counts for the
most in life, money or brains?" "Well,"
answered Miss Cayenne, Il see so
many people who manage to get on
with 50 little Of either, that l am be-
ginning to lose my respect for BOTH"
Washington Star.
Guest-This is the fourth time I've
rung for ice water! Bell Boy know
it, sir. but the hotel is full Of people
that were at that same banquet, and
every time l started down the hall
to your room somebody reached out
and snatched the pitcher!-Detrolt
Free Press.
The Actor-Look here. old man,
wish you'd lend me five dollars in adj
vance, and take it out Of my first
weeks salary. The Manager-But, my
dear fellow, just supposing, for the
sake of argument, that l couldn't pay
you your first weeks salary-where
would I be?-Life.
The managing editor wheeled his
chair around and pushed a button In
the wall. The person wanted entered.
Here" said the editor, 'are a num-
Der Of directions from outsiders as to
the best way to run newspaper. See
that they are all carried out" And
the office boy, gathering tlem all into
large waste basket, did so.-Wash-
| ington Life.
"Give you nickel?" said Miss De
Style; "oh, no. l never dispense pro-
miscuous aims. Why do you not OBJ
tain employment" please, num-"
was the timid reply, 81 have a small
baby, and people won't be bothered by
a woman with child '"Then, you
absurd creature, why not leave the
child at home with it's nurse?"-Phn-
adelphia Bulletin.
Gen. "Phil' Sheridan was at one
! time asked at what little incident did
he laugh the most 'Well,' he said,
Il do not know, but 1 always
laugh when l think Of the Irish
man and the army mule. I was
riding down the line one day, when 1
| saw an Irishman mounted on a mule,
which was kicking its legs rather free
| ". The mule finally got its hoof
caught in the stirrup, when, in the ex-
element, the Irishman remarked:
| We'll, begorrah, If you're goin' to get
On, I'll get off,"
Its mighty easy to make mistake
| in a person." remarked John A. Nc
| Call of the New York life Insurance
Company a few days ago to a friend.
Its like the case Of a sea captain
once knew. He got married late in