Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-02-02
ODD NAMES OF TOWNS
CAUSE vExATIoN TO RESIDENTS
WHEN FROM HOME.
Alone, KY, Lonely, N. c., Affinity, N.
c., Happy, Tex, and Purity, Mimi,
Are Few Examples.

FROM the New YORK Ir1Dune.
The names of some towns in the United
States probably cause their inhabitants
considerable vexations when away from
home. These names have certain peculiar
meanings in everyday talk, and as soon as
they are mentioned they are apt to prompt
troublesome questions by funmakers. For
example the man from Alone. KY, might
have to explain to stranger. living in New
York how he could do business if he were
the only inhabitant, and how the excise
laws were enforced If the barkeeper, the
topper. the policeman and the magistrate
there were more than one person in Alone,
if all were bachelors and old maids Citi-
Zens of Lonely, n. c., and Lonesome KY,
would encounter much the same sort of
questions, and all of course would finally
be asked If they We're once Jersey COM
muters.
If man hailed from Affinity, N. c., he
would naturally be supposed to be married,
and his home life an unpunctured chapter
of bliss. He would be expected to wear as
wide smile as the citizen of Joy, or Happy,
Tex, or Paradise, Col, with temper as
subdued as the inhabitants of Purity, MINI.
What would happen, however, II the man
from Affinity should meet a man from
Peace, Ala, would indeed be predetermined
erners, boom the merits of their respective
towns with such ardor that at last these
representatives of Peace and Affinity would
come to blows. They might at last de-
velop as much disrelish for each other as
the citizen of Cream, Wis, who should
chance to take dinner with citizen of
Caviar, N. ]. On the other hand they
might become as chummy as the townsmen
of those three towns in the states of Colo
RADIO, Oregon and West Virginia, which all
bear the name of Crook
Eye and Blind Bay.
Any one coming from Eye, N. c., could
hardly expect to join the New York police
force and find things congenial If he was
a native of Lax, Ala. or Blind Bay, La.
on the contrary, his duties as metropoli-
tan bluecoat might prove congenial. If he
said he was from Sodom, Ohio, he would
most likely be told that his own town must
need his services more. If he replied that
it didn't he might be recommended to try TO
get position in Pluto, Miss.
Near the Greene river in Kentucky, ana
several miles south of Lewiston, there is
town by the name of Pig. 1t has never
been recorded in any history of the United
States whether the characteristics OF the
people of Pig are any different from those
of the people of Lamb, H., or Chickies
Pa. This is certainly to be regretted IT
would certainly be interesting to know II
the worthy burghers of Pig are any more
happy and contented than other human be-
ings, whether they have such ills as In
somnia. nervous 'prostraton or melancho-
LA, whether there is any sale In Pig for
appetizers, and what the good people do on
Big Foot.
Should a women from Big Foot. Tex, or
Antiquity, Ohio, advertise for husband,
It is safe to say she would not get as many
answers as a woman from Beauty, w. Va.
The man who hailed from Jug, Ala, might
have more difficulty in being elected to the
White Ribbon Society than his contempt
rary from Dry Town, Cal. The native of
Magic, Ala, would no doubt be welcomed
by certain Wall street officers, where
citizen from Fairplay Wis, would
find the door shut. Should the woman from
Alamode, Mo-, or Fashion, Ga, meet
woman from Jaysville, Ohio, the two
might get into such controversy that at
the end they would both be believed to be
natives of Looneyville, N. Y The citizen
of Fossil, Ore, unlike the citizen from
Quick Neb., would doubt feel very much
at home in Philadelphia, and for much the
same reasons the representative of Fact
Kan, would find congenial atmosphere In
Boston. Vegetarians should go to Grass
s. D.
Any one might think that Ice, Ca, would
become a more popular summer resort than
He'll Hole, Col. A jury made up of men
half of whom We're born In japan MO.
and the other half in Russia, n. Y, would
be pretty sure to disagree. At any rate
they would not call in man from lingo,
Tenn, for peacemaker. Should the girl
from Leapyear, Tenn, become dissatisfied
with things at home there is little danger
of her settling in Bachelor, Mich. Neither
would the man from Langor, Mimi, thlnk
of moving to Jump, Ohio.
A man may travel from Dan to Beershe-
ba, nowadays. and think 1t is very short
journey. There is a Dan in Kentucky ana
a Beersheba over the line in Tennessee.
Neither is the trip from London to Peking
a long one in the United States. Ohio con-
tains a Picking and a London, and 1t is
not long journey from Whiskey But'es'
Mont, to Seven Devils, Idaho.