The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1905-08-22

AMI GAVE HER THE END TO HOLD.
this thrillin' juncture, while l remark
that my Alleviator has now been be-
fore the discriminatin' public for the
last thirteen years, and doorin' all that
time it has never once failed to do
what was expected Of it. 1t soothes
the weary, Gains the nervous, brings
new hopes to the hopeless, and any
sort O. pain, from a headache to
broken bones, is alleviated almost in
stantly.
No other remedy ever compounded
kin take it's place. l have seen a
grievin' wilder woman grievin' away
as if her heart would break, and
sayin' that she might as we'll commit
suicide, take one dose of my Alleviator
and then begin to laugh and sing coon
half Of what this wonderful compound
has done it would require ten times
the space of this paper.
I have heard people say a thousand
times over that it was we'll wuth a
dollar a bottle, but my price is nvari-
ably % cents. Where a grievin' wild
der woman and her nine fatherless
children appear before me in a body
and want ten bottles all to once, l
make a discount of 10 per cent. In
cases where I find ministers of the Cos
pei preachin' On Sundays and diggin'
post holes for Is cents a hole doOrin'
the week l also make a slight dis
any1nf h,1f fo oil nfhnrs tho nri0O iS nc
stated. No pills go with the Allevi-
ator. It stands out by itself, like a
wart on a politicians nose. Havin'
made SIGH explanashun as I deemed to
be due the public / will now return to
my perilous situashun in the Red
Hoss tavern.
No sooner had the stalwart and in
dignant citizens before mentioned bust.
ed open my door than 1 gently inquir
ed what was wrong. In reply they or
dered me to git out of bed and foller
them. On the same public square
where I had achieved victory two hours
before was now a crowd howlin' for
my life, while tar and feathers had
been collected for my benefit. I soon
discovered the cause of the comma
shun. A cross eyed citizen who had
bought a bottle Of my Alleviator for
the earache had driven the pain down
into his stomach. In order to drive il
back again he had absorbed a gallon
of sour buttermilk and was then lynn
on the ground with the pangs Of de-
spair gnawin' at his vitals. He had
claimed that my Alleviator had pi
zened him, and the liberal hearted
crowd had taken his word for it and
i set out to mob me.
My presence of mind did not desert
me. Even with the tar warmin' up to
the right pint, and a woman standin
by with two pillars off her parlor bed
I held up my hand and made an ad.
dress to the crowd. l contended with
SIGH sincerity that the sunerin' crittel
had been mixin' sunthin' else with my
remedy that he finally broke down
and confessed the truth. l then or
dered him rolled on a bar'l, stood or
his head and given a few kicks, and
when he had come to the right frame
of mind / administered a dose witt
my own hand, and in five minits be
was sInilin' like a babe.
Public opinion changed at once.
was hailed as a public benefactor and
a hero, and upon reopenin' business
made a sale of thirty-four more bottles
and was serenaded by a string band
When I left the town the next mornin
the mayor hisself took of his hat tt
me and gave me an official i%nvitashur
to call agin. I cite this case to show
that a good man. backed by a goot
pain alleviator, kin allus depend or
Providence to bring him through al
difficulties.
I had driven about five miles mex
forenoon when I beheld half a doZer
citizens ~approachin' me on hossback
AT first | took them To be citizens O.
the town of Last Call, who had heart
Of the wonderful soothin' effects o
my Alleviator and bad raced out to b
/ the FIRST tn hYv huf in n IpetIQ time