The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-03-05

E#Z&XH conversational endoW-
kzEA ments are limited and
they have no stock Of ideas on
which to draw when they meet
strangers or are away from the shell
1ering orbit of the home circle. They
realize their limitations and grope
about to find the reason, only to become
constantly more discouraged and less
confident of themselves than before
How can conquer my Discrimination
to talk in company? How can learn
what to say2 How can L make myself
popular and entertaining are queS-
tions often and sorrowfully put by the
girl who owns herself tongue-tied ana
depIores the fact. Some girls can tax
very well on a subject that has inter
ested them and with which they are
familiar. But in order to do this they
must have time, place and opportunity.
There must be somebody else to whom
the large subject makes an appeal, and
who likewise has given it sufficient
study to talk about il with intelligence,
If not with enthusiasm. A girl of this
solid, substantial type is very much in
the position Of a person who has bills
of generous size in her pocketbook.
but has no small change. Occasions
arise when small change is indispensa-
BILE to comfort and when one cannot
easily get about the world without its
convenient aid. In a street car. for in
stance, a fifty-dOllar bill might be use
less. when a nickel would carry one
miles on a journey.
The small change of conversation
enables one to say a light and cour-
teous thing quickly; it implies some tai
ent for banter and Tepartee. and il is
little dependent on use and wont, on
knowledge of the everyday cirCum-
stances of those about US. and on sym
patty with the mood of those we meet.
The girl who knows herself TO be
tongue-tied. though she regret il, need
H. --IE fc
socially more disagTeeable and more
dreaded than a woman who talks too
much. monopolizing the conversation,
taking the floor herself and firmly hold
ing it and giving no one else chance
10 speak. People flee from this over
gifted and aggressive talker. A mere
chatterbOx is equally disliked.
4 good listener is always sure of
appreciation. If you can but master
the fine art of listening TO each person
With an air of deep interest, just as if
there was nobody else at the moment
in the wide world. and as if your great
est wish were to understand what the
other is trying to tell you. you will
have the effect Of talking well. All
that is really necessary is not to let
your attention wander, and at the right
moment. in the right places make
some brief rejOinder or affirmation.
GU need never fear that you will be
thought too silent if you listen well
and say yes or no at proper intervals.
y good listener is never a bore, while
great tal6er frequently gains that
unhappy distinction.
Girls are sometimes tongue-t tied be-
cause OF indifference. A bashful man.
ner. up to a certain point, is attractive
But when it has its root in a hamper
ing self-consciousnesS which makes one
awkward and clumsy or surly and de-
faint. it is a fatal handicap. Whence
springs the overpowering diffidence
which lays its weird spell on some girls
] cannot tell Circumstances have lit
tie TO do with il. Heredity may have
much. one finds a girl brought up il
a town and accustomed to meeting
strangers and kinsfOlk all. her life &
victim of this Wretched bondage, while
a girl of the same age, coming from
country home and a background o.
solitude may be entirely free from it.
7 remember once in a visit to
mountain land Of the south to hav,
seen beautiful girl ride up a steer
hill path and dismount at the door o
the house where 1 was staying Sh,
entered a room which happened to b.