davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25
ACTOR TOLD UNk1ND TRUTH.
Cruel Speech That Brought Actress te
Earth With a Jerk,

Cruel Speech That Brought Actress to
Earth With a Jerk.
May Irwin is round parsonage Of
middle years and more than middle
weight; to look at her would not make
one think of willows or slimly bend
Ing pines. She is, withal, of a frugal
genius, and economical to a degree
that would evoke plaudits from Hetty
Green or Russell Sage. She told me
this herself.
1t was when she came from her
dressing room ready to go on for the
second act; 1 chanced to be on the
stage. Miss Irwin was gorgeous in
red dress-arterial red. She swung
around with the remark:
do you see this dress? Cost $3.50
and l hate parting with money. The
hrst night I had it on Jim Ford spoil
ed it,"
Thereat I expressed surprise and
sympathy.
1T was like this" she observed. 81
donned this dress, red being my weak
ness; l thought I'd never looked so
we'll. Of course, I'm fat; but still I
felt that for once 1 was beautiful. Jim
Ford was back of the scenes; I con-
fided to him that I expected to make
the hit Of my life. pirouetted, even
II | am the size of a load of hay.
Don't look like a peach?' l asked.
No. said Ford. you don't-you
look like a tomato pa Fl Lewis in
Saturday Evening Post.
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25
The Poet Fled.

The ETHEREAL being with the unshorn
locks was shown into the editorial
sanctum.
81 have written a poem on the dog"
he said.
"N'hose dog?" demanded the editor,
herce'y.
"It is not any particular dog" fal-
tered the poet.
do you mean to say you took ad-
vantage of the dog because it was not
particular and wrote your poem on
it,"
"I'm afraid you do not understand
me. l wrote the poem regarding the
dog"
But why were you regarding the
dog at all? What had it done that you
should regard it,"
If you will allow me to explain, l
had been inspired by the dogs fidel-
ity-'
III the dog was faithful why should
you seek to hurt it's feelings by writ
ing a poem on it.? And no wdid you
manage to write poem on it at any
rate: Did you have the poor brute
shaved and tattoo the verses on it's
back, or did you brand them on? Per
haps you-"
But the poet had disappeared like
the nlists of the morning.
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25
Man Who Did Too Well,

e. man may sell too much of the
article which he is displaying to his
customers, and I know of a case in
point which happened to a friend OF
mine,'' said Hite Bowman.
my friend had a fine place offered
him with an organ factory, and he
accepted it, the salary being up in the
four figures. He went out, and to his
first customer sold the entire output
of the plant. The customer agreed to
take all that the factory could make
Having nothing more to sell, my friend
returned to the house we'll pleased
with his success, and for several days
sat around smoking good cigars, while
the firm patted him on the back. One
day he came in and the boss called
him over, saying in this fashion:
81 will have to give you the usual
thirty days notice. You have done SO
we'll that we have no further use for
you or any travelling man. We are
sorry to lose you, but you sold too
much at the first crack Louisville
Courier-Journal.
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25
A Stronu Jnducement,

Senator Penrose of Pennsylvania
celebrated his birthday recently in
Philadelphia. A Philadelphian, during
a congratulatory call, said of him:
Il remember Penrose's entrance into
politics, when he was boy of a.
He won the liking of Senator Quay
by quaint little speech that he made
to the Republican leader during the
presentation of a petition.
''This petition was laid before Mr..
Quay by a delegation, whose spokes-
man was insufferably long-winded and
tedious. The man talked to the sena.
tor nearly an hour. Every one stood
during his speech, and it seemed that
it would never end.
when, finally, it did end, Mr.. Quay
asked wearily if there were any fur
ther reasons for the granting of the
petition that the delegates had to Of
fer.
"Penrose, tall, and straight, and
boyish, smiled and said in a low
voice:
eff you don't grant it, sir, we'll
have that speech repeated all over
again to YOU"
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25
Manicured Newsboys.

The nails Of nearly every newsboy
on Park row were neatly trimmed and
clean at least one day last week, a
phenomenon many noted with sur
prise.
A vender with a patent manicuring
tool, clippers, file and pick, three in
one, and one for three cents, took
up his stand on the surb. He demon
strated the ease with which the tool
could be handled on the first newsboy
who came along. The boy marched
down the row, showing off his hands
proudly.
1--WE been manicured," he declared.
''Did it hurt?" WAS she a blond
beaut?' How much, Snickers?" were
some of the questions.
Nav, it didn't hurt, an she amt
blonde, an it didn't cost nothing"
he answered.
They made a cent pool as the
price of the secret, and the newsboys'
manicuring shop, the first in history,
was soon in operation-New York
Tribune.
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25
Etheida,

library door. For an instant | could
have sworn that l saw the figure OF
a woman, with it's back towards me,
bending over the library table in an
attitude of muscular strain, trying to
lift or move some object on the table.
And that delicate, straining figure was
Helen's!
The illusion passed as abruptly as
it came. The white window-curtain
blown inward, half over the table, in
the darkened room had lent itself to
the momentary hallucination.
At dinner we jested with Jack on
his mornings sport.
'Where's your revolver, Jack?"
asked Ethelda:
Il believe [ left it on the library
table, he returned, carelessly.
"Jack!' cried Ethelda, How could
you! And the baby about all the aft
ernoon!"
She looked so ruffled and reprOach-
full that I turned the conversation to
the subject that oddly rose in my
mind.
"Oh, do you know l said, 'You
have never yet told me about Arthur
Ollvant!"
Jack and Ethelda looked at each
other, and Ethelda blushed slightly.
They both laughed.
Tell her." said Jack, nodding at
his wife.
well, if you must know" said Eth
elda, arthur Olivant was the name
we had positively decided or for the
baby, if she hadn't been so perverse
as to be a girl"
The words we're barely spoken
when from the library came the al
most simultaneous sounds of a shot
and q fall.
sat nearest the door, but the three
of MS reached it together.
"You have killed her!" screamed
Ethelda; but Jack sprang past her and
picked up the tiny, night-gowned fig
ure with the red stain spreading
above the heart. The fatal revolver
lay on the floor where it fell.
Hours later when we had made the
little body fair and composed, I left
Ethelda with her passionate, unforgiv.
ing grief, and stole away to comfort
Jack The study door opened noise
lessly. He sat with his head buried
in his arms on the desk. Beside him,
one tender hand on his shoulder, with
a bending face of exquisite, intense
compassion, leaned the shadowy form
Gil
my hair pricked lightly at the roots.
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25
Freaks Are Out of Date.

1t is announced by the new Hippo
drome management that freaks" will
not be hired, and. that the public no
longer cares to see human abnormali-
ties and deformities. The ossifed
man, the bearded woman, the four
legged boy and the original rubber
neck can no longer make large in
comes by exhibiting themselves to a
curious public. There was a time
when a good freak would receive $125
or $3.50 week for sitting on a plat
form.
The proprietors of the Hippodrome
and other large shows presumably do
not exclude freaks for any other mo-
tive but that their exhibition is not
profitable. 1t has been proved by the
experiments of the last two years at
Coney Island that the more respect
able an entertainment and the more
it appeals to the average well-con-
Quoted American household the more
profitable it is.
1t is a good sign of public develop
ment.-New York World
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25
A Few Instances

HAS it ever happened in your pro-
fessional experience that an innocent
man was sent to PRISON. was asked
Of a Boston criminal lawyer.
1T has, was the prompt reply. II
was just figuring on that yesterday.
OF the 400 criminal cases l have de-
Tended about fifty of my clients we're
convicted and sent up"
And they were innocent?"
''They must have been. When I
have appealed case to the last court,
wept while addressing the jury, talk
ed OF the mans dear old mother and
as good as proved an alibi in his case,
the jury must have rendered a verdict
of guilty simply through ignorance or
stupidity"
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25
HIS EXPERIENCE TEACHES THEM.
That Dodd's Kidney Pills Will Cure
Bright's Disease. Remarkable case
~ ca1rua / Rarher-Ou,iek raeou.

That Dodd's Kidney Pills Will Cure
Bright's Disease. Remarkable case
OF George J. 6arber.-Quick recov.
cry after years of suffering.
Estherville, Iowa, Jan. 23d.-(Spe-
ciaD-The experience of Mr.. George
J. Barber, a well known citizen of this
place, justifes his friends in making
the announcement to the world
"Bright's Disease can be cured" Mr..
Barber had kidney trouble and it de-
veloped into Bright's Disease He
treated it with Dodd's Kidney Pills
and to-day he is a we'll man. In an
interview he says:
Il cant say too much for Dodd's
Kidney Pills. I had Kidney Disease
for fifteen years and though I doctor
cd for it with the best doctors here
and in Chicago, it developed into
Br,ght's Disease. Then I started to
use Dodd's Kidney Pills and two boxes
cured me completely. think Dodd's
Kidney Pills are the best in the
world"
\ remedy that will cure ,Bfight's
Disease will cure any other form of
Kidney Disease. Dodds Kidney Pills
never fail to cure Bright's Disease.
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25
! FARMERS T ARE",k IT." Y
Total Products Of the Soil Reach an
~ Enormous Sum. )

Total Products Of the Soil Reach an
'.< Enormous Sum. !
The farmers of the United States
are our greatest benefactors. In 1904,
for example, our farm products were
worth in the aggregate $4,9OO,OOO, 900,
an increase Of 31.2 per cent over 1899
The sum is three times the gross
earnings of all our railways and six
times are amount of the capital stock
of all the national banks. The corn
crop would pay the national debt. Next
to corn comes cotton, worth this year
while hay and wheat to-
gether about equal the value of corn.
The rice crop reaches nearly I 900 ,000,-
0CO pounds, being 200,000,000 pounds
more than ever before. The secretary
Of agriculture becomes impressive,
however, when he tells us that the pa
trlotic hens of the country in one
month lay eggs enough to pay years
on the public debt. The far
mer is said to be prospering this year
beyond the record. To prove this the
secretary shows that in the three dis
agricultural states of Iowa,
Kansas and Mississippi the deposits in
all kinds of banks increased in the
eight years from June 80, 1896, to
October 81, 1904, by, respectively
164, 2l9 and 301 per cent. During the
same period the deposits in all banks
of the United States as whole in.
creased by 81 per cent.-Baltimore
Sun.
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25

At that minute an uproarious med
ley of barks and screams rose on the
lawn
Agnes is teasing the dog" cried
Ethelda. and rushed to the rescue of
the bold baby who delighted in slap
ping the big and not-too-patient New
foundland. When Agnes indignant
fright had been pacified, Ethelda had
forgotten Arthur Olivant, and / did
not resume the subject.
The next. day-ah. that day!-1 had
start. Jack had been out that morn
ing shooting squirrels. l heard him
come in, and move about in the
library; afterwards the door of his
den slammed. Remembering some
thing | wanted to say to him, went
towards the Gen. Some obscure i'm.
pulse made me pause at the open
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25
Getting Things Mixed.

When Walter Williams, from Colum-
bus, Miss, was in Spain a year ago
he called upon a provincial editor in
the interest of the st. Louis exposition.
The next day the paper had the follow
ing: "Walter Williams of the United
States purchased the state of Louisi-
ana, and next year will give celebra-
tion, to which he has invited his fel-
w-journalists Of Europe" Mr.. Will
liams again called upon the editor and
thoroughly explained matters. The
editor apologized and printed this cor
rection: "Gov. Francis of Missouri
has purchased large tract of land
in the great American desert, and WAL
ter Williams is here to invite the jour-
nalists Of Spain to show which the
governor will give" ..sa...
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25

l went down to Maple Lodge that
would have recognized. l could not
bear the place after Helen died; and
when Ethelda became it's mistress two
years later vague resentment and
disgust still kept me away. Not that
blamed Ethelda. She had not known
Helen as had known her, or as Jack
had known her. But as for Jack!
How could man who had shared
Helens perfect love, who had received
her peerless devotion, her exquisite
dauntless tenderness show could he
replace her with another? His had
not been common marriage tie to be
forgotten like common ties. l made
no breach with them, but I, at least,
would not see Ethelda's handsome.
full-blooded, yivacious presence in the
places where Helen had been.
l had actually written my refusal
of Ethelda's annual invitation Some
accident delayed posting, and it lay on
my table the night dreamed the only
dream which ever Influenced my &C.
ton.
l dreamed that I stood with Helen
in the blackberry thicket near the
head of the lane between the locust
trees behind Maple Lodge. l knew
that she was dead, and yet it seemed
not strange that she should be there
talking to me on some subject of
great import. Then it seemed she left
me and went rapidly down the lane;
her dress f1uttering about her tall,
light figure between the locust trees.
l tried to run after her, to call her
back, my heart beating hard v with
longing and regret-and so woke.
In my dream l had understood
everything she said; waking, my ut
most effort could recall but three dis.
connected sentences: "Do everything
you can to help me. There is
trouble brewing in the affair of Arthur
Olivant You know l have to look
out for jack
l turned them over and over in an
unquiet mind. Who was Arthur Oil
want? AS far as I knew I had never
heard the name. What could l think
but Ethelda was handsome and
vivacious and full-blooded. Perhaps
Maple Lodge and Jack were dull.
And yet-Ethelda was a self-respect-
ing woman-and she had a child. 1t
was none of my business. But in the
end, went to Maple Lodge.
They gave me so hearty and unaf-
fected a welcome that was ashamed
of my long delay. They lived very
simply and very quietly, but in obvi-
Gus content and happiness. Both Jack
and Ethelda were wrapped up in their
two-year-old daughter. I blushed for
my suspicious.
Maple Lodge seemed like different
place. The blackberry tangle was
gone, and half the locust trees had
been cut away. Ethelda's lighter
taste had metamorphosed the rooms.
Besides, the presence of the child-a
robust, venturesome little elf-altered
everything. After all, it is natural and
right to forget. Yet l had a pang
when Jack condemned the white rose
bush by the dining room window.
"We must have it dug out, Ethelda.
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25
Ask Me No More

Ask me no more; the moon may draw
the sea;
The cloud may stoop from heaven and
take the shape.
With fold to fold. of mountain or of
cape,
But, oh. too fond, when have I answered
thee?
Ask me no MORE
Ask me no more: what answer should I
give?
love not hollow cheek or faded eve:
Yet. O my friend, l will not have thee
Ask me no more, lest I shall bid thee
livej1
Ask me no more
Ask me no more; thy fate and mine are
sealed.
strove against the stream and all in
vain.
Let the great river take me to the main,
No more. dear love, for at a touch I
yield:
Ask me no more.
Alfred Tennyson
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25
In Winter Days.

The days have lost their brightness and I
feel the dreary pain
OF the winds that sigh around me-of
the blooming bright,
I have but remembered roses, and the
songs of birds that seem
To be singing to me ever in the meadows
of a dream!
say. somewhere the gardens of the
spring are blooming bright,
And morning dawns in splendOr and the
love-stars light the night,
But the flowers 7 loved are ashes, and 10
altar-fires gleam
Where my soul is ever signing for the
meadows of a dream.
The dim days have no pity-no promise
for the years
The stars are stormed from heaven and
the clouds rain down their tears!
For face that made the morning has
faded with it's beam,
And the promise of the springtime is the
shadow of a dream!
Atlanta Constitution
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25
A GREAT SUFFERER
LAY HELPLESS AND SPEECHLEsS
FOR HOURS AT A TIME.
Sinking Spells, Headaches, Rheumatism
All Caused by Poor Blood-Cured by
DR.. Williams Pink Pills.

Sinking Spells, Headaches, rheumatism,
All Caused by Poor Blood-Cured by
! DR.. Williams Pink Pills.
When Mrs: Williams was asked for
some details of the fearful illness from
which she had 80 long suffered, she spoke
~ follows:
Ever since had nervous prostration,
about thirteen years ago, I have had
periodical spells of complete exhaustion.
Any excitement or unusual activity
would throw me into state of ifeless-
ness. At the beginning my strength
would come back in a moderate time,
but the period of weakness kept length
ening until at last would lie helpless
as many as three hours at a stretch"
"You were under medical treatment,
Of courso?'
"Yes, when I became SO bad that I
had to give up my housework, in May of
1908, 1 was being treated for kidney
trouble, and later the doctor thought my
difhculties came from change of life. I
was not only weak, but I had dizzy
feelings, palpitation of the heart, misery
after eating, hot flashes, nervous head
aches, rheumatic pains in tho back and
hips. The doctortlid me so little good
that gave up his treatment, and really
feared that my case was incurable."
What saved you from your state of
hopelessuess?
In July of 1908 I had a very bad
spell, aud my husband came il one day
with little book which told of remark.
able cures effected by remedy for the
bloodand the nerves, Dr.. Williams Pink
Pills. He bought box for me, and
that was the beginning of my return to
health. My yappetite grew keen, my food
no longer distressed ME, my nerves were
quieted. aud my strength began to re-
vlve.'
"How long did you take this remedy?"
For two months only. At the end
Of that time I had regained my health
and cheerfulness, and my friends say
that | am looking better than I have
done for the past fifteen years."
Mrs. Lizzie Williams is now living at
No. +l6 Cedar street. Quincy, Illinois.
Tho pills which she praises SO highly,
cure all diseases that come from i'm.
poverished blood. If your system is all
run down, DR.. Williams Pink Pills ara
the very best remedy to take. Any drug.
gist can supply them.
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25
Deafness Cannot Be Cured

BY local applications they cannot reach the dls'
cure Deafness and that is by constitutional remediea
Deafness is caused by an innamed condition Of the
mucous lining Of the Eustachian Tube When this
tube 1s innamed you have arumbling sound or i'm
perfect hearing and when it is entirely closed Desf
ness 1s the result and unless the Inflammation ~
taken out and this tube restored its normal cond
tion hearing will be destroyed forever; nine cases
out of ten are caused by tatarrh which is nothing
but an infamed Condition Of the mucous surfaces
We will give One Hur red Dollars for any case Of
Deafness (caused by catarrh) that cannot be cured
by Halls Catarrh Cure Send for circulars, free.
F. J. CHENEY CO., Toledo, q
Sold by Druggists 75c
Take HAIRS Family Pills for constipation
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25
Another Edition.

"Where have you been until this
late hour?" asked the wife of liter
ary man, when he came home in the
wee small hours.
"Oh, I've been sitting up with sick
friend" replied the man, hanging his
hat on the gas jet.
III any one should ask you,s dear,
don't forget to tell them that that Is
the forty-fifth edition Of that particular
piece Of your fiction II III. u.
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25

sible for the whole trouble. It seemed
to settle in my kidneys. Doan's Kid
ney Pills rooted it out. It is several
months since used them, and up to
date there has been no recurrence OF
the trouble
Doan's Kidney Pills for sale by all
dealers. Price so cents per box. Fos-
ter-Milburn Co., Buffalo. N. Y.
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25
SofteninQ the Term.

"Yes, her father called you a plain
idiot
Did he call me that?"
well, not exactly. He used warm
or adjective. thought you'de be bet
ter pleased if made it plain" -
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25

and Doan's Kidney
Pills relieve and
cure it.
H, B. McCarver,
of POI Cherry St.,
Portland. Ore, in
spector of freight
for the Trans=Con.
tinental Co., says:
81 used Doan's Kid.
ney Pills for back
ache and other
symptoms of kid.
ney trouble which
had annoyed me
for months. I think
a cold was .respon.
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25
Useless Question.

Judge-Madam, did understand
that you lost your pocketbook before
or after you were at the bargain coun-
ter?
Prosecuting Witness-I said there
was money in it. didn't I?-Detroit
Free Press.
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25
Hobby Is Collection Of Watches,

The famous. Australian novelist,
Nine. Mary Won Ebner-Eschenba
possesses one of the finest collections
of watches. A number of these time
pieces are over 200 years old and
many of them are set in diamonds.
The collection is said to be worth over
5000 ..>s~:-s :. T.. r.. 4. S. i II i
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25
A Rare Good Thinp.

'"Am using ALIENS FOOT-EASE, and
een truly say would not have been without
1t 50 long, had known the relief it would
give my aching feet. think it a rare good
thing for anyone having sore or tired feet
Mrs. Matild". Holtwert, Providence, r. L"
Sold by all Druggists, 25c. Ask today.
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25

"Well, sir" brusquely inquired tho
girls father, what can do for you?"
"Why-er-1 called, sir" stammered
the timid suitor. ITO see if-er-you
would give assent to my marriage with
your daughter"
mot cent, sir; not a cent. Good
ay.'-Philadelphia Press.
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25

The roses blight every year." The
day Helen set it there was like yes
terday to me. But men forget those
things.
One afternoon as Ethe1da and I sat
together with our sewing, a half-for-
gotten question recurred to me.
"By-the-way,' asked, with assumed
carelessness, "Who is Arthur Oil
vant?"
Ethelda laughed, but she looked at
me queerly. What do you know
about Arthur 0liyant?" She laughed
again. Il declare | must tell Jack!
I'd almost forgotten Arthur Olivant!"
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25

itching Blind, Bleeding or Prutrudtng Piles. Your
druggist will refund money If PAZO OINTMENT
4sils to cure you In . to IA days. 500
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY
Take Laxative Bromo Qutnine Tablets. AN druur
gists refund the money If it fails to cure. E. ".
Groves signature Ia on each box. 25c.
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25

This world would be far more dis
NAL than it is if the public found out
about it every time anybody made .
fool Of himself.
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25

1t is easier to like where one does
not love than to love where one does
not like.
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25
I CONSTANT ACHING. /

Back aches all the time. ep0ll1
your appetite, wearies tho body. ~wor-
ries the mind. Kidneys cause Il Ill
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25

Some sober men are kinder drunk,
and some drunken men are kinder
10har.
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25

The -four for the bread of life is nev.
er packed in gun barrels.
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25
177ae9?'z&Zz::zzz<9z2!:Zx4!D e9 &Z::z<z!Z4

Copyright 1905, by Daily Story Pub. Co..
The Cook County herald., 1905-02-25
No Paw,

Ke HaITs Family Pills Tor Constipation