The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-06-09

or TWO In convincing the people thar
we were properly heartless and purse
proud, dad said the only thing We
needed to make the trip a success was
to run over somebody. He said nearly
all the American automobile tourists
in Europe had killed somebody and
had been obliged to settle and sup
port family or two in France or
Italy, and they were prouder of it than
they would be if they endowed a uni
versity, or built church, and he said
he trusted our chauffeur would not be
too careful in running through the
country, but would at least cripple
some one.
Well, just before we got to Nice, and
darkness was settling down on the
road, the chauffeur blew his horn,
there was a scream that would raise
hair on Horace Greeley's head, the au-
tomobile stopped, and there was a
bundle of dusty old clothes, with an
old woman done up in them, and we
jumped out and lifted her up, and there
we were, the woman in faint, the
peasants gathering around us with
scythes and rakes and clubs, demand
ing our lives. The bloody-faced wom-
an was taken into home, the crowd
held us, until finally doctor came,
and after examining the woman said
she might live, but 1t would be tight
squeeze. We wanted to go on, but we
didn't want to be cut open with a
scythe, so finally a man, who said he
was the husband of the woman, came
out with a gun, dad got down on his
Dakota man held up both hands like it
was a stage being held up, and cried.
Finally the chauffeur said, in broken
English, that the husband would set
tie for $500, because be could pay
the funeral expenses, get another wife
for half the money and have some
thing left to lay up for Christmas.
AS the mans gun was pointed at dad,
he quit praying and gave up the
money and agreed to send $50 a
month for II years, until the oldest
child was of age.
Well, we got away, alive, got into
Nice, and the chauffeur started back
and We cabled home for money to be
sent to Geneva, Switzerland. But,
say; you have not heard the sequel.
A story that has a sequel is always
the best, and I hope to die if the po-
lice of Nice didn't tell us that we were
buncoed by that old woman and that
the chauffeur was in the scheme and
got part of dads money. The way
they do it is to wait till dark, and then
roll the woman in the dust and put
some red ink on her face, and she pre-
tends to be run over, and the doctor
is hired by the month, and they average
$500 night, playing that game on au-
tomobile tourists from America. After
and the money is collected, and the
victims have been allowed to go on
their way, the whole community gath
ers at the house of the injured wom-
an and they have celebration and a
dance, and probably our Chauffeur got
back to the house that night in time
to enjoy the celebration. suppose
VI AmOIlCdHo
money for killing people that never
got scratch.
Say, we think in America that we
have plenty of ways to rob the tender
foot, but they give us cards and spades
and little casino and beat us every
time. Dad wanted to hire hack and
go back and finish that old woman
with an ak, because he said he had a
corpse coming to him, but the police
told him he could be arrested for
thinking murder, and that he was a
dangerous man, and that they would
give him II hours to get out of France,
and so we bought tickets for Switzer-
land, though what we came here for
don't know, only dad said it was a
republic like. America and he wanted
to breathe the free air of mountains
in the home of the SwitZerkase.
Well, anybody can have Switzerland
If they want it. I will sell my inter
est cheap. The first three days we
were here everybody wanted us to go
out on the lake, said to be the most
heautifu1 lake in the world and we