The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-27
ARIZONA KICKLErs.
senni-Annual Apologies by the Great
Western Editor.

SoA1Ai-<4lAnua4 Apologies Dy the Great
Western Editor.
There has never been tried, and
never will be tried, as long as wts own
lt, a suit for libel against The Kicker
we started in with a plan of our own
ana nave rel1giously stuck to it. The
lawyer who takes q suit against us
must race our two guns. There is no
ass.I,ternatiye-no getting away from it.
Inc shysters in the GuIch have had
this fact brought home to them over
and over. and long ago they concluded
20 20 quit, Money wouldn't hire one of
them to-start libel suit.
As an offset, we devote the proper
space twice year to apoIogizing to
al those whose feelings we have hurt
Whlfe We call a spade a spade we
don do it maliciously. We make mis-
takes, and we know it, and therefore
honorable This is one of the semi
annual occasions for apologizing, and
we therefore proceed to business:
= Sometime since we referred to
Colonel jackson as a dead beat and
liar, and advocated a little hanging in
his case. We understand that the
coloneIs feelings were hurt. We
apologize He has lied to US on hun
dred different occasions, and he owes
apologize. He might be worse.
Instinctively, when we stand talking
with anyone, friend or stranger, we
spit tobacco juice over their shoes
Why we do it has always been a
puzzle to us and to the medical science
of the west. Many strangers have
taken it that we meant to insult them,
ana nave gone away in anger. To all
such We humbly and meekly apollo
glze. and hope they bear us no hard
feeling for what is really misfortune
on our part.
We had to tell the coroner through
these columns a few weeks since that
he was a disgrace to his office for be-
ing drunk so often, and that he ought
would take our remarks good, ma
turedly, but we learn that he is very
much grieved over them. We hereby
make apology. We may pitch into
MIN again next week, but up to date
we are sorry for what we said.
There was no i'll feeling on our part
when We referred to the adjutant gem
eral of this territory as squirt. We
simply meant that he was about as big
as a pint of cider, and that he gave
one the impression of bantam roos-
ter but as he has taken the matter to
heart we hereby fully and frankly
apologize, and promise not to do so
any more.
About three months ago, when Will
lam Shayne. druggist. poisoned his
tenth victim within a year, we advised
mill. We understand that he burst IN
to tears on reading the article, and that
he still feels we did him an injustice.
Perhaps we did. Perhaps he couldn't
run the sawmill business for shucks.
At any rate, we apologize and wipe
off the slate, and shall not advise him
to keep his EPSON Salts and his arse
mic separate
Two months ago when Colonel Child
cause we wouldn't pitch into Captain
Kidd, the pirate, at his instance, we
rode out to his place and got the drop
on him. and made him take water. In
fact, he renewed his subscription and
gave US two others besides, but he is. sulk-
ing around and saying we took advan-
tage of him. We hasten to apologize
with our hat in our hand.
Last spring we advocated the hang
ing of Jimmy Watson for being too
handy with his gun, and Jimmy had
the sense to jump the town before the
necktie could be adjusted. He has
written us from Santa Fe, saying that
press our heartfelt surrow. 1t may be
just as well, however, that he doesn't
come back. We might return to our
old opinion.
It was stated in these columns few
weeks ago that Bristling Bob, who
keeps the White Wolf saloon, had been
obliged to leave Montana for chewing
his brothers ear off. We had our
doubts at the time, but were in a
hurry to go to press and didn't investi-
gate. B. Bob now wants and shall
have an apology. 1t was some one
else's ear he chewed off, and a court
acquitted him for it on the grounds of
bridge any yawning chasm that may
have existed on account of our re-
marks.
official office in the city hall. We en-
tered the place last April to find Bob
Henderson sitting with his feet on our
desk and smoking our cigars. In the
heat of the sudden surprise we
grabbed him by the neck and threw
him down stairs and broke one of his
arms. We are sorry we did it. We
| could just as well flung him out of the
window and broken his neck.
We have never been able to find out
who the stranger was that entered the
postoffice early in May and fired five
shots into the clock hanging up in the
corridor. We had him by the neck at
the fifth shot. and when he landed on
the sidewalk he said something about
broken ribs. He got away before we
could investigate, however, and we
want to apologize for our hasty action.
We should have argued with him first
and broken his ribs afterwards.
It is not SO very long since that we
asserted that Doctor" Baker of this
town didn't know enough about medi-
cine to doctor a sick dog. The doc
tor" has called and exhibited docu-
ments that seem to prove that he was
physician to the King of England for
years before heading for the Gulch,
and we therefore include him among