The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-07-28
HIS LORDsHIP'S CHAUFFEUR

paper in his hand failed to upset his
good humor.
what! no epigrams again this
] morning." he exclaimed. Why, you
only had three for me yesterday"
Very sorry, MILFORD" said Jack
son. I have been turning out on an
! average six epigTams a day for your
Iordship for the last two years, and
am beginning to dry up II you VIII
pardon the expression"
| Jackson il is absolutely necessary
! that I should make epigrams."
Il know, MILFORD. The only thing
can think OF this morning is that your
/ lOrdship might bring in a travesty OF
/ a prOverb such as Where there's a
/ viii there's a-legacy."
That's not up to your usual form,
Jackson, and besides it is more or less
/ a pun, and you know I hate puns''
Il am afraid it's the best can do
this morning, Milford"
We'll. never mind. Telephone to
the stables that I shall want the car
at the club at $3.50. I am going down
to Ranelagh."
win your lOrdship drive your
self?"
You know very well that I never
do"
7 thought, perhaps. after the
/ months lessons your IOrdship has
| taken''-
That viii do, Jackson. Telephone
Il was a sore point with Daventry
that although he possessed one OF the
Il which would have aroused the envy
| Of a rhinocerOs he had never yet had
1 the courage to drive himself
He rose leiSurely, dressed with the
/ utmost care and lunched at his club.
At $3.50 his car was announced. He
/ got into his enormous motor coat, put
on his goggles, and told the chauffeur
to go to 267 Brook street
/ The car shot forward, darted in and
1 out OF the traffic, and after whizzing
round the corner into Brook street at
a pace that made his lordship clutch
/ at the side Of his seat, pulled up at
/ 267 with a jerk
What the devil are you up to?
Haven't I told you over and over
again that will not be driven at that
beastIy pace?"
The chauffeur remained silent.
Why don't you speak, man?'
Because, MILFORD, I have a very bad
| cold and have lost my voice." replied
the chauffeur in a hOarse whisper.
ooh, all right then. Get out and
ring"
Mrs. and Mrs Heathmere prompt
/ " appeared, and as the latter came
out in her dainty motor suit he
| thought he had never seen such a
charming picture. She hesitated,
/ looking up and down the street
though she hardly knew what she ex-
| pected to see. Bob Langley's words
| were ringing in her head. You
shall drive down to Ranelagh with me
| and not with Daventry. You shall
/ take tea with me and not with Dav-
| entry" and though she had not con-
/ fessed il TO herself she had half hoped
| that he would succeed in making
good his words Greeting their host
/ they entered the car.
/ ''Ranelagh," his IOrdship said, and
with a jerk the huge machine started
| again They tore down Brook street,
| shot across Park lane and flashed
| round into the park.
| Drive sIOwer!" screamed his lord
shiP.
/ Of control" painted the chauffeur as
the car dashed along.
Put the brakes On.' yelled his
/ Iordship.
I'm trying. They won't act"
/ Just as they were nearing Shep-
i herds Bush the brakes seemed sud
denly to grip.
4 think I can hold her while you
/ get out" shouted the chauffeur.
I
jumped from the car, handed Mrs.
| Heathmere out, and was just turning
| to help her daughter when with a
i crash the car broke away and van
l ished in a cloud of dust
/ Mrs Heathmere screamed and drop
ped in the middle Of the road.
/ What has happened % she walled
/ ''Oh, why did you make me risk the
| life Of my only child in your terrible
machine? What will happen to her?
| Oh. do you think that she will have a
| painless death 2"
I'm afraid il has got out Of con-
| troll again. began his lordship feebly.
Why could not the id idiot hold
the Internal thing another minute?'
why don't you do something she
cried, instead Of standing there and
swearing?"
BY this time a crowd had collected
anxious to know what had happened.
4 think we had better take the
Tube back and inform the police" re-
marked his lOrdship dolefully. II
don't see what else we can do" And
50 saying he seized the unfortunate
Mrs. Heathmere and bundled her in
to the stuffy station
In the meantime the car had con-
tinUed its mad career. Miss Heath
i
the first shock, resigned herself to her
fate.
After at minute or two the pace had
become somewhat slower, and the
chauffeur seemed able to steer with
ease
Just as she was going to ask him
IL he could not turn back and find
the others the car gave a sudden
swerve and pulled up-inside the
gates Of Ranelagh.
The chauffeur caImy got down and
handed her out Taking OF his cap
and mask he cody remarked:
I gave you due warning that Dav-
entry should not drive you down here
today"
-BOb!" she exclaimed. Then, sud
denly remembering how indignant
she ought TO be- she turned to him.
How dare you! This is nothing more
nor less than a gross piece Of imperti-
hence Never speak to me again
Mamma will-Oh, it's disgracefulI
Drive me back at once, sir
Where to-" he asked.
Where you left mama, Of course"
MY dear girl, you don't imagine