The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1905-06-17
The Decay of Friendship.
From the Philadelphia Ledger.


Everybody who has made only cursory
investigation of the purple patches of
rhetoric will remember De Quincy essay
in which he arouses the breathless horror
of suspense about that vision of sudden
death. The very phrase of ''sudden
death, as he shows by citing that general
duplication from lightning and tempest;
from plague, pestilence and famine; from
battle and murder, and from sudden death ;
expresses an idea of the grand climac-
teric of woe and utter disaster. In the
ancient world there was another evil which
summed up the heights of the abhorred-
the false and perfdious friend The old
writers speak of the fouts of fortune, dis
aster in love, the wrath of Jove, the with
ering palsy, and, finally, ''the treachery
of friend The treachery of the friend
and the faithless friend no longer occupy
much space in modern literature, and wit
says that Just as no attention is paid to
snake poison in ireland, where there are
no snakes, so we pay no heed to the sub
ject of friendship in these modern days,
because the thing has ceased to be.
Acquaintance, people with whom we do
business, persons whose names, occupations
and addresses we know, are more plentiful
than ever. We stir about more than the
people of olden times did or could, and we
have faster mails, telegraphs, fast trains
and telephones, and thus the average man
is brought into some sort of contact with
many human beings; but because of the
swiftness of the movement, the multiplicity
of the people we all must see, the distrac-
ton we are all in, there is but remote
opportunity for anyone today not ma
rooned on a desert island to become well
enough acquainted with man to be bound
to him.
Another reason why men do not readily
form those close relationships one with an
other which Goldsmith aptly described as
,disinterested commerce between equals
is that in these later days married men find
more and more their companions and friends
in their wives. Many great and wonder
full things have been accomplished in mod
ern times, but it may be questioned if any
thing greater has been done than by the
higher education of woman, her emancipa
ton, her emergence from mere household
drudgery, and the expansion Of her inter
ests aud pursuits. Woman Is now the
intellectual equal of man in every respect
his companion and friend.
But after allowing for certain compen-
sations for the loss of the old-time friend
ships between men, which we are to be-
lieve really did exist because we read about
them and occasionally hear our grandfath-
ers aver most emphatIoallythat they actually
formed such friendships, yet there can be
no doubt that something has been lost from
life by the passing of friendship
There is, perhaps, no discipline in life equal
for the formation of character to that which
ssgrows naturally aud inevitably from the
close communion of two honest men.
Friendship means absolute frankness and
openneSs. without reservation Of thought
and opinion. without evasion and shutting
the absolute self-reyelation Of the man,
As Cicero said, the essence Of friendship
is straightforwardness and sincerity. This
practice Of straightiorwardness Is a trsining
and an uplifting to any one. And it Is the
more severe and salutary from the fact that
it tends to drive into the background all
the baser, meaner characteristics and quail
ties, and to bring forward all that is best
and purest and modest; for a man who Is
in constant contact with another human
being, DESTROYS of his respect and approval,
is apt to use him as ''touchstone = or
measure of what Is worthy, and to say to
himself when courses Of action or thoughts
which will not bear she light of frank ex-
animation suggest themselves, why this
is not worthy Of my friend, and he would
not approve of it as the right and true
thing to do.
It has been said that "a good man is the
best friend, the soonest to be chosen, long
er to be retained, and, indeed, never to be
parted with, unless he cease to be that fol
which he was chosen but every one must
know thoroughly good men with whom a
close friendship is impossible. Goodness
is always entitled TO respect, but there are
SOME ItfNAuc 80 ctlA-N0HNaAuCA, ~ NVAa AuN
distant, or 50 nearly Numerically opposed
to US in thought, feeling, sympathies and
temperament, that any real intimacy with
them is unthinkable Harry ID. Toreau,
the recluse and early leader of the simple
life, gave an excellent indication Of the
true basis for the formation of friendship
Friendship is the unspeakable JOY aDC
blessing that results to two or more individuals
who from constitution sympaihize. Such ma
lures are liable to no mistakes, but will know
each other through thick and tain. BeIweet
two BY nature alike and fitted to sympafhIzS
there is no veil, and there can be 40 obstacle.
Who are estrenged Two friends explaining. =
There are many kinds of friendships, or
as Jeremy Taylor in his famous paper says
some are made By contract, some by inter
est and some BY souls. The friendship
which is formed with an eye to the prof.
is not Of very high kind usually, and We
if the man is Of such nature that he doei
not afford us aid in our spiritual improve
ment and growth, he is failure as friend
As to the attachments which are mad,
with view to making money or to any
kind of mere material proft-they are not
friendships in the real sense of the word
but business maneuvres.
Many men and women would hav'
friends, and wonder why they so through
life and seem to be more and more alone.
They should know that there is one alb
solutely indispensable condition attached t.
the gaining of friends, thus stated b!
Thomas Wilson
Friendship is to be purchased only b.
friendship. man may have authority ovel
others. but he can never have their hearts bu
by giving his own
The recent tornadoes in Kansas lead ths
Kansas City Journal to tell of the expert
- .~,a.es,.,. IL A 81 =,