The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1905-01-27

"I believe that little Chumley is
pretty sure to get ahead in time"
well, he needs one right away
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Dickory-T Quizz, the great
puzzle inventor. What has he done
lately? Dockery-He is putting plots
in comic operas.-P Philadelphia Bull
letin.
First Dear Girl have fully decid-
ed never to marry. Second Dear Girl
What is the trouble-has your faith
er lost all his money?-Chicago Daily
News.
ANY good things about that bur-
lesque show?" Yes" answered the
man who seldom smiles. "The back
er must be a good thing Washing
ton Star.
Slowpay-Doctor, suppose you can
recommend your tailor to me? Doc
tor-Certainly; but you will have to.
get someone else to recommend you
to my tailor.-New Yorker.
''Is this a good place to hunt reed
ies?" asked the amateur gunner.
Sure" replied the boy; you could
hunt here for a week an never find
none. "-Philadelphia Ledger.
Boroughs-I don't see why he
wouldn't lend me the five dollars
wanted. Newitt-No, he certainly
couldn't ask for more permanent in
vestment.- Philadelphia Press.
when a persons wool-gathering
that means he's lazy, doesn't it, pa?'
mot necessarily, my son. He may be
gathering the wool of the lambs in
Wall street" Philadelphia Ledger.
Edith-So, Mrs. Chatter was at the
club last night? Did she have any
thing to say for herself? Diana-Say
for herself? Well, should say she
did; not only for herself, but for ev-
erybody else. She did about all the
talking.
Lady calling on new wears wife)
Have you seen the library at the
hall? Sir George is quite bibliophile,
you know. Wears Wife WARMLY
Oh. I'm so glad to hear that! So
many wealthy men have no religion!
Punch.
Two old farmers met on the road.
"Where you been, Sile?" asked the
one in yellow boots. Been shooting
the rapids" drawled the other.
"Canoeing?" mo; shooting at those
pesky racing automobiles that run ov-
er my chickens. Baltimore Herald.
Uncle George-So, you are studying
law, Henry? Reading law,
Uncle George, not studying. Uncle
George-Oh, yes, of course. BY the
way. suppose that is why the work
ing of the law is so uncertain. Law
yers never study it, you know, but on
ly read it.
Eyes; his wife calls him down ev-
cry day." But she's such a frail,
meek-looking little woman, and he's
such a big brute of fellow" Il
know. She calls him down to break
fast, after she's got up and prepared
it. while he's deciding whether he'll
go to sleep again or not. Chicago
Mrs. Greene see in the papers
that Martha White has married a
hostler. Mrs. Brown-My paper
says Martha's husband is Har-
ward coach. Mrs. Greene-Well,
and doesn't that amount to about
the same thing? A coach, or coach
man. is half the time nothing more
than hostler.
Mrs. Tawker Ga visitor) Such love
ly playing, o, could listen to it
all night! How nice it must be to
have your husband home of an evening
and giving you such beautiful music.
Mrs. Snow-Yes; but that isn't Mr..
Snow. It's Mr.. Hammers, the piano
tuner. He is tuning our piano; had to
come in the evening, he is SO busy just
now. Isn't it funny. He tells me he
couldn't play a tune to save his life.
Fuddy-Crimmins gave a notable ex-
ample of deathbed repentance. buddy
Guess | didn't hear about it. Fud-
dy-You know he had been borrowing
money from all his friends for two
or three years? Well, when he found
he was going to die, he squared him
self with all of them by writing his
personal note for the amount owed to
each, payable 80 days after death.
Duddy-But the paper isn't worth any
thing. Fuddy-I know. but it salts
fed Crimmins's conscience. and OF
sourse that was the main thing.