The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1905-01-20

"The tramp is ever before u.s. said
the sociological student. Who is re
sponsible for this?"
"The comic artist" chuckled the
buffoon boarder-Chicago News.
AN ECONOMIC ARRANGEMENT
christmas comes but once year,
said the CHEEKY citizen.
"No use of it's coming twice a
year," said the morose person. Must
give man chance to save little
money before he can spend it,"-Chf
cago Journal
FRENZIED FINANCE.
Goldbugge-Have you any gilt
edged railroad stocks among your in
vestments?
Copperbugge-No, but I've got a
few all-guilt copper stocks.-Town
Topics.
FITS FIRST STEP IN CRIME.
WHdJ WdSN yOuI LII 81 SICP III VI AhhA~
that led up to this daring forgery
asked the judge.
II began by changing the dates OF
my wife's letters before finally mail
ed them" answered the victim of his
own wiIes.-Cflicago News.
HER IDEA.
Bearitt- Things were awful1y dull
on Change today. Absolutely moth
ing doing in stocks. The buyers and
sellers failed to get together.
Mrs. Bearitt-Why don't you mark
some of the stock down and advertise
a bargain sale?-Chfcago News.
A REMARKABLE HEROINE.
"Of course the novel isn't much,
but the heroine is quite remarkable
young person"
"Indeed?"
"Oh! quite out of the ordinary. She
doesn't once appear in a gown OF
ONE soft clinging material that accen.
tuated rather than concealed etc-
etc. -Pmlladelphla Press.
GREAT UNDERTAKING
"He says he proposes to make au-
tomobiles that will easily attain q
speed of eighty miles an hour"
"Whew! that's great business UNI
dertaking.'
eyes, but most of all it means q
great undertaking business. "-Phila'
delpflia Press.
JUST RESENTMENT.
Young Husband-Bertha. did you
ask the grocer to show you some OF
those seedless beans I was telling
you about this morningf
Young Wife-Yes, and il you want
your slippers warmed before you put
them on you can warm them yourself,
sir; I won't.-Chicago Tribune.
THE OTHER SIDE.
as this Miss De MUIR"
Eyes, sir. Pray be seated
"Thank you. Miss De Muir. am
Mr.. Hoppendyke. wish to ask you
what your intentions are in permit
ting my son to dance attendance up
on you six evenings in the week.
Chicago Tribune.
EASILY EXPLAINED.
$50 she's actually engaged to him.
Why, she told me he was the last man
on earth she'd think of marrying"
81 guess that was because he was
the last man on earth she thought
would ask her"-Philadelp Press.
AN OFFER FOR HIS SHARE.
Raynor-Think OF it! Our navy
has cost every man, woman and child
in the United States at least dol
larl
Shyne-Well, if the burden is great
er than you can bear, and you want
to sell out and move away from the
country to get rid of it. I'll give you
a dollar for your share in the United
States Navy."-Chicago Tribune.
A SURPRISED GUEST.
"Sorry we had to ask you to settle
in advance, SIR" said the clerk OF
the high priced hotel. "but, you see.
We didn't know you"
what difference does that maker"
coldly demanded the departing guest
"Well. SO many swindlers have done
us lately"
'~rhe idea! thought there was
more professional courtesy among
swindlers. "-Philadelphia Press.
DOORS.
Mr.. Upmore-If you haven't decid-
I'd where you will spend the winter, I
,an recommend the Bermuda islands.
| have had two delightful winters
here.