davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-01-12
Mrs. GiIbcrt's Wit.

On the closing night of her farewell
engagement In New York the late Mrs.
Gilbert made happy use of Il famous
metaphor Of Kipliug. Six seats in the
orchestra We're occupied by as many
men with white hair and lots of it.
When the women began to throw cor
sage bouquets of violctS upon tho
stage the six in question sent their
cards to the venerable actress, togeth,
er with note running like this: IRE.
spected and Beloved Madam-You
are as adorable now as YOU wek forty
years ago. We lay our homage ut
your feet. Please identify us in the
second row by our white heads. This
Is a Canadian salutatIon." my very
best regards to those gentlemen" was
her commission to the usher who had
carried the note, and tell them-mind
you get it right that l would be proud
to be mentioned in their prisons as
Our Lady of the SHOWS"
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-01-12
The American Hotel Clerk.

He stands at desk upon the counter
which fronts your entry He is usual
" n man in the prime Of youth He
wears diamonds, according to general
rumor, and usually lives up to his repu-
tation. lie assigns your room. To the
1ondoner lie appears as magnificent
parsonage. who combines mysteriously
the duties of the man at the door of
the Carlton and the privileges of the
president of the United States. You
require information rs to Il railway
route or stamp, and the hotel clerk
Is ready with it. You PROFOUND to him
all your difficulties. and he solves them
with a snap Of the lips and a shift Of
his cigar for within his circle he Ia
There IL no reason why he should be.
Indeed. it was a little startling when
the hotel clerk ut Chicago overlook me
as was going in to dinner, linked his
friendly arm in mine, and said: well.
sonny, how are you making out? Bull
Typ We have nothing like the hotel
clerk In England. for the hotel man.
niger Ia more nloof and the hall porter
Is more subservient. Whence the hotel
clerk gets his diamonds | cannot
imagine. Not from tips. l would as
soon think Of dropping quarter"
into the palm of Mr.. Roosevelt after
an interview rs Of Offering a tip to an
American hotel clerk.--"T. P.'s Travel
Talk" in T. P.'s London Weekly.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-01-12

The tabloid habit IS unknown to skip
pers Of sailing craft, coastwise or ocean
bound. EPSON salts and castor oil are
still good enough for Them" the New
York Press says. Nor does the sailor
who has worked his way up from the
mast dose his crew with sugar coated
or gelatin covered pills. The old stand
ard favorites are still his main reli-
ance.
Captains of sailing vessels are re-
quired to keep notes Of all the medicine
they serve out to the crew for record
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-01-12
"EoOl" LcgislataOn,
(TO BE CONTINUED

There is ut least one fool in every leg
islaturc He imagincs himself "A re-
former. He Slips in his bill and trades
and log rolls for its passage Thus in
Nebraska the rtformer wanted to pro
h!Dit women from wearing cOrSots and
boomers. This was clearly class leg
islation. for the title made no mention
Of men. In Pennsylvania he wanted to
prohibit treating. In Kansas he wish
ed 10 repeal the constitution and enact
the Dccaloguc in its stead. In Indi-
ana he desired bcnevolcntly to change
the mathematical ratio of 3. Is to 3. IL
because it was easier to calculate"
And in Michigan he wished to forbid
the wearing of tights In circuses and
thcaters and the use OF every language
except English on tie mcnus of hotels
and restaurants. This last bill! had its
origin i'll tie WOrlUl experience OF Il
country member who visited Detroit
for the first tiInc. He confessed TINT he
could not read the menu at the hotel
whittier be had rcSortcd for his dinner
So he blindly ordered twelve dishes,
land I'll he hanged if seven Of EN-
weren't potatoes he divulged as he ex-
planned his reform bill. In Arkansas
three years ago the fool member actu-
ally succeeded in passing Il drastic an
thrust law which prohibits any corpo-
ration which Is a member of any pool
or trust in any part OF the world from
doing business in the state. The mem
bers who passed this all reaching
measure probably formed posse com
itatus to insure its efIiciency.-S. p.
Orth in Atlantic.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-01-12

rom what Lola said, that you are a
rvate detective" he remarked, with
esitation.
"vidocq & Co.." said Bawdscy brisk
"23 Augusta street, Strand That's
be, Mr.. Brendon, but you needn't men
on it in this shanty.'
Twill you answer few questions,
|fr. Bawdsey?' asked George.
"Yes. Fire ahead"
you are private detective?" asked
George.
That's so. Nidocq e Co.-an attrac-
We title, | guess"
and You were employed by Lola to
ratch me-"
II was. Love will do anything for
he object of its affections"
"Uumph. There are different ways
f looking ut that But you were also
Engaged by Lord bennington to watch
hc?"
Bawdscy did not display tho least
our observation, Mr.. Brcndon. It's
rue"
How did Lord bennington find out
hat was passing under the name of
corge BrcndonI"
"Wcll. sir, if you will shove adVcr-
scmcnts into the paper asking about
he celebration of the marriage of Per-
Nauc and Miss EoSina Lockwood
on must expect to be dropped upon.'
and you looked me upt'
quite so. | have had YOU under OBJ
Frvation for the last six months Any
bore questions. sir?''
"Ouly one" replied George. evil
on tell me exactly what you are do
hg here
"Certanly. You shall have the whole
tory. Mr. Brondon. but in the first
lace I shall ask YOU q question in my
lrn. DO You know why asked YOU
come and see me today:'
Brcndon shook his he,d. II have not
be least idea" he confessed.
III cnightcn YOU" was the other
lan's reply. "To warn you that you
re in danger of arrest
II in danger of arrost?" George
|lmpcd up. what do you mcan?'
"Oh, my meaning is clear enough
here is chance that you may be
ccused of having murdered Mrs. Jer-
ey.'
George dropped back into his chair
it'll a white face. You must be mad
say such n thing. WHO accuses
neF'
Lord Derrington.'
ION what Crounds?'
con certain Information he obtained
Rom Mrs. Ward. She is your bitter
ncmy. You see. Mr.. Rrcndon, it is not
or game that YOU should marry the
laughter. Mrs Ward knows that You
re n clever man with a will of your
wn and that She will not be able to
wist you around her finger, which is
What she wishes to do with any SON
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-01-12

The alchemists of the middle ages
were necessarily occupied with the en-
dcavors to transmutc metals. Many
alloys were known to them which are
lost to us, and their recipes contain
many useful hints worthy Of the at
tention of modern scientists. There is
a curious book in the Bibliothe0ue Ma
tionale entitled "Iibcr Saccrdotum"
C"Ihe Book of the Priests. 1t is sup
posed to have been written by the Jew
ish priests. but probably dates from
the eighteenth century. Here is one of
the curious recipes contained in this
book: Mix Il quantity OF iron filings
with n quarter of its weight Of red
orpiment Press the mixture in linen
cloth, inclose in smelling pot and
leave it for whole night In II heated
furnace. Next add some oil and ma
iron and just as much copper filings
as there is iron. Melt all together and
the result will be fine material for
hammers.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-01-12

Ascuml hear your son is going in
for n literary career? Mrs. Dreamer
Yes. He started in this very morning.
Ascum- Indeed. What has he donci
Mrs. Dreamer He's sat for his photo
graph in two poses. one where he's
reading book and another with his
brow resting on his hand.-Philadel-
phia Press.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-01-12
Mark Twain Needed SDcctacIes,

A funny incident occurred in Ehg
land recently. Mark Twain wrote Il
letter to the Maidstone board of guard
ians asking for pair Of spectacles, as
his sight was growing very bad. The
board was rather puzzled by the nppli
cation until the reader of the letter cx
planned that 1t was not the author Of
The Innocents Abroad" and 1.-The
Dogs Tale" but one Of the paupers liv-
ing Mt the Maidstone workhouse, who
was probably the only person In the
world outside the author who bore that
famous name 1t Is well known how
Mr.. Clemens came to adopt his pseudo.
nym. The deckhand on Mississippi
steamboats, who casts the sounding
line. in which knots are made marking
or the depth of the water, calls MARK
one" Mark twain" etc, as the case
may be- and the sound of the phrase
appealed at once to Mr.. Clemens for
nom de plume.-Hnrper's.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-01-12

Jones-What have YOU got that string
around your finger for? Brown-My
wife put it on so that I would remem-
hcr something, | forgot what it was.
I'm keeping it on now TO remind mo
to ask her what it was when | get
home this evening. Boston Transcript.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-01-12

One of Phil Arlnours $4,000 men
went into business on his own account
on one occasion and built up power
full opposition house Tho man had
remarkable ability, but his career
shows that he had not ArmOur'S con-
cepton of things nor his loftincss of
character. And it shows. too. that de
spite his long and intimate association
with his old employer the seccdcr had
not thoroughly appreciated the quiet
power Of the originator. X, for we
will call him so, rose to prosperous
heights and then was seized with the
desire to be thought greater man
than his old chief. against whom he
began operations in the chosen way
of corners and similar financial cXer-
cises known to the street. He said one
day, Il used to work for Phil Armour,
but before long Phil Armour will be
working for me- He thought he had
the old man squeezed, as the word
goes, but Armour proceeded ut .
o'clock one morning to convince the
complaccnt gentleman that lie was sad
~ mistaken. BY noon there was n
rushing fall in prices and the once
jubilant merchant was Il bankrupt.
With the news he also received from
Mr. Armour the offer of an instant
and friendly loan of 100000 in cash.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-01-12

Representative John Sharp Williams
says that the WlttieSt uttcrancc that
ever he heard from 'rrivatc' John AL
len. for so long the W.T. of the house,
was delivered one evening in a hotel
lobby in Washington during the period
Of Clcveland's second administration.
Allen, who was surrounded by n party
Of friends eagerly listening to his
stories, was in particularly fine form.
lie had paused in one of his yarns to
salute Vice President Stevenson as he
passed. The Illinois statesman, how.
ever, did not perceive the greeting, for,
with his head bowed, apparently in
deep meditation, and with his hands
clasped behind him, lie strodc on with.
out Il glance in the direction of Aliens
party. "Gcntlemen,' solcmnly OBJ
served the Private" there YOU be-
hold a man with nothing under his feet
but Mother Earth nothing on his mind
but the longevity of the executive -.
Saturday Evcning Post
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-01-12

lllIIc III! lUtiI'I WIS lHuIucTPu. INuc
loved him, and | dare say, in spite Of
having been discharged, watched him
She might know who the lady in blue
But ! forgot, you are ignorant of all
these things"
Not at all Don't I tell you that
Lord Darlington told me the whole
story? | see what you mean. You
think that Mrs. Jersey might know
who killed your father, and for the
sake of shutting her up the assassin
committed the second murder"
THAT is my idea" said George cool
ly.
It's ingenious, but ii won't hold wa
ter. However, we can talk of that
on another occasion. In the meantime
! wish to tell you how | discovered
the secret door"
"Thcrc's no IHed to. Darlington told
YOU that ] knew this house as my
grandfather had brought me up in it.,
When YOU knew through Mrs. Ward
that ! had passed night here and
learned through her, by means Of Train,
that the yellow holly berry had been
found in the woman's sitting room,
you set to work TO find out how es-
capped from this room. You knew that
Train had locked the door"
Yes" answered Bawdsey, che told
Mrs. Ward that"
HE seems to have told her every
thing. However to make long story
short You hunted for an exit and you
found it,
That's So" replied Bawdscy quietly.
And now we had better return to the
sitting room and talk over the matter
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-02-04
CARNEGIE GIFT. s125, 900.
Announced at Dinner Of Rensselaer,
POLYTECHNIC Alumni.

Anarew Carnegie II was announced last night
g. the dinner of the alumni Of the Rensselaer,
Poaytechnic Institute. or Troy, y Y, has made
glft q SlZ5 600 10 me institution
President Ricketts, Of the institute announced
ne gift The reunion was at Sherrys. The
EI-t IS U help rebuild The main building, which
vas destroyed by FIRE last June. II was an
.oateeo thar the building would be called Car
aegie EaH
About 20 members Of the Alumni Association
N-le Present. President Ricketts,. in his ad-
Ntsss said he had nothing 10 report but prog
.ess The last year ne asserted, has been
- most prosperous m the history of the fnstl-
t.lS Although the chemical laboratory was de-
T-Y.t1 5y FIRE on Nay >. the main building on
.-sr . the laboratory was rebuilt by October
- - 10y hiring outside rooms We were able 10
fenlslce
ne president added mat $4,000 had been
49, sl-ll1uted h1 graduates toward the rebuild
- Thirty thousand dollars was received from
s.ta1snce J. !. Albright, Of Buffalo. Of the
NSss of .. had given $4,000
r,F5EEssoent Ricketts, said that last October
ssesytVyJ was received IN memory Of graduate
= = nc institute, and $4,000 was expected from
same source this fall Both amounts would
= toFarc endowment.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-02-04
OFT OF 1900, Q QUALIFY.
McAdoo Disappointed OUer Patrol
mems craftsmanship,

Police Commissioner McAdoo announced yes
terday that only nine out OF the 100 police
men had qualified in the revolver practice. held
in the armories recently. The Commissioner is
greatly disappointed In future vigorous
methods will be adopted In nope OF making the
patrolmen better marksmen. Experts will be
secured TO teach the patrolmen how TO use the
revolver Mr. McAdoo also stated that the re-
volvers of many policemen were found 20 be
rusted and that cartridges clogged the cham
bers.
on the subject of police pistol practice. and
the efficiency of policemen with the weapon in
Connection with their promotion the Municipal
civil Service Commission gave hearing yester-
day Deputy Commissioner Lindsey, captain
in the 18th Regiment, was one OF the speakers
IAN exnert shot is invariably careful in ham
ding his weapon and. because careful. often
slow in drawing it, he declared. 1t is pro-
posed 20 require a percentage or o0 out OF a
possible - points before a policeman may be
ranked as a marksman.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-02-04
FIGHTS THE DRAWBACK.
Senator Hansbrough Seeks Repeal
of Pr0Uisi0n about Wheat.
IFRoM TIE TRIarNE BrREAr.l


Washington. Feb. 3.-Senator Hansbrough in
troduced in the Senate to-day an amendment to
the Sundry Civil Appropriation bill which. If
adopted. viii have the effect of repeating the
drawback provision Of the Dingley act so far
as il applies 10 wheat. The amendment was
referred TO the Committee Appropriations
and when it comes up for consideration the
Senator from North Dakota will be heard. In
support of his amendment Senator Hansbrough
viii argue that the trainers of the Dingiey act
never intended the drawback provision to apply
10 wheat and, without questioning the legality
of the Attorney Generals recent opinion that
the drawback provision does apply to wheat as
yvou as 10 other comm odities, will assert that
the opinion merely establishes the fact that the
language Of the act IS susceptible of an inter
pretation never contemplated by the trainers.
Grain growers throughout the wheat produc-
-,no sections OF the country are considerably
aroused over this question, and by resolutions
and petitions adopted at their meetings and
conventions have established the fact that they
heartily support the principle embodied in Sena-
tor Hansbroughs amendment
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-02-04
MAYOR ORDERS THE SIGNS OUT.
4HEARN WILL TEAR THE u DOWN IN THE SUBWAY
IF BELMONT REFUSES.
Big Fcoy the Municipal r Society and The Tbune-SIot
chimes and Stands Mast Go, Too

No effective action having been taken by the
Rapid Transit Commission against the subway
advertising signs Mayor Mcclellan yesterday
made a drastic move himself, in accordance with
an opinion from the Corporation Counsel he
ordered the Borough President to have his Bu-
reau of Membranes tear out the signs slot
machines and flower stands. if the Interborough
Rapid Transit Company did not remove them
due notice.
What the Interborough company will do about
the decision could not be learned last night
August Belmont, the president would say only
that he had referred the question to his coun-
sci George w. Wickersham, counsel for the
operating company, declined to talk about the
case. There would be many ways to raise legal
objection to the action Of the Mayor, he said in
answer TO a question, but added that until he
was empowered. he must decline 10 talk about
the affairs of his clients.
From former expressions of opinion from Mr..
Belmont however it seems practically certain
that the Interborough will fight this action,
the question as TO the legality Of the signs will
be taken into the courts. This result the Mayor
did not succeed in obtaining through the Rapid
Transit Commission. In letter to the commits
sion at its last meeting Mr.. Belmont declale3
that he was advised that the slot machines,
flower stands and cigar stands we're part of the
privileges pertaining to the running Of a rail
road which always had been the legal ground
on when they based the maintenance of the
subway signs.
VICTORY AFTER A LONG FIGHT.
This decisive action by the Mayor comes as Il
victory in the long fight which The Tribune and
the Municipal Art Society waged against the
signs from the day when this. paper called at
teution to these dsfgurng advertisements in
the new subway stations. In spite Of vigorous
efforts on the part of The Tribune and the So
ciety no decisive action could be obtained from
the Rapid Transit Commission, although the
members individually deplored the presence of
the signs in the stations. Alexander II. Orr. the
president held that the negative clause in the
operating contract which implied a permission
for signs had positively committed the board
So strongly did he hold out for the company
that he declared frequently that If the signs
we're removed the city should pay damages to
the Interborough.
Mayor Mcclellan and Controller Grout took
another view of the case. however. Finally a
resolution was put through the board compel
ling the marlborough 10 regulate the number
Of signs in each station in accordance with
scheme to be prepared by Mr.. Parsons, the chief
engineer. Other resolutions intended to curb
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-02-04

the signs were passed to all of which the operat-
ing company Daid as little attention as to the
first Meantime, the slot machines and the
cigar stands and flower stands began 10 overflow
in every station, and the Controller set about
trying TO check the influx. Resolutions were
passed by the board asking that the company
remove them, but they were not removed. At
the last meeting of the board, on Thursday. a
resolution was passed formally ordering that
they be taken out, and calling on the counsel Of
the commission to begin action against the COM
pany If they were not removed.
The Municipal Art Society had concentrated
all its efforts on the Mayor The Mayor asked
Corporation Counsel Delany for opinion TO
the city's power.
MR.. DELANY'S OPINION.
The opinion, which came yesterday, declared
that the Mayor had full power 10 order the signs
removed. In his opinion Mr.. Delany speaks of
the beauty of the stations as an evidence that
signs were never intended for such places. His
opinion goes on:
that the operating company has no legal right to
use the subway stations for its own emolument by
letting them out places in which 10 advertise or
SteIieye the cornpla.ots made are sustihable. and
I ADVISE YOU to instruct the President OF the Bor-
oIgh Of Manhattan. who, under the charter. has
coenizance and control Of the removal oL encum-
bYauces Immediately TO give nouce to the inter
borough IA pd Transit Company, operating the sub
way railroad. at once to remove from the SUBWAY
stations these various advertising signs. hover
stands and slot machines and other encun oTsnceS.
plv with he demand Of the President OF the Bor-
ough Of Manhattan, that he be instructed TO re-
move the same by force.
The Mayor Immediately sent a copy or the
opinion to Borough President Ahearn, with the
request that he direct the Interborough people
to take down the signs or have them torn out
Mr.. Ahearn told Thomas E McEntegart, super
intendent of the Bureau of Encumbrances' to
tell the operating company TO take the signs
out Of the stations at once.
The Mayor sent the following letter to the
Municipal Art Society:
I beg to acknowledge the receipt Of your com
r,1Inica+iop of November 28, in regard to the al
vertising signs In the subway, and 10 say Inat
7 have moi made an earlier reply thereto because
desired 10 await the result of the considera ton
which thought might make any acton on my
part unnecessary. -, ..:+.o-
When however the commission took a posltion
contrary 10 NV view Of the law. ] submitted the
matter for advice to the Law Department which
today confirms my opinion that the use OF me
subway for advertising signs IS in Violation or the
ctX-s rights feel justified. therefore, IN taxing
inianendaDt action. and ! have, acc Ncdingly, re-
ouested the Borough President 10 notiy the cor
tractor to remove the Objectionable signs, ana II
u-itLin a reasonable time this demand be not
cornnIied with that ne remove them himself 70 the
corporation ward like any other enCumbraace un-
lawfully upon the public highway.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-02-04
ALBANIA TO RETOLT.
Prince Ghica Announces Beginning
of Increment for Freedom.

Rome. Feb 3.-Prince Ghica, Of Rumania who
has been elected by the Albanian committees
Supreme Head for Albanian independence. said
to-day that his election meant the beginning Of a
general revolution in Albania and a bitter strug-
gle TO achieve the liberty Of that country. He
said he would in person assume command Of the
Albanian forces. which. he asserted, would be
reinforced by 1900 European volunteers.
The committees. Prince Ghica further stated
have at command all the means necessary for
the prosecution of the war for indepen-
dence. and only ask 70 be left free in the
fight for liberty. Those enlisted in the
movement. he added. are determined to
achieve their purpose or die 10 the last man.
Should Austria inte-va-s 20 prevent the execu-
ton II the committees plans h 5o-t4red. she
will bs opposed by Italy. Russia a1d Great
Britain.