The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-06-09

talking with them, but you go to their
countries and the natives don't know
that there is such language as the
United States language, and they laugh
at you when you ask questions. | am
sick OF the whole business, and would
give all | ever expect to be worth. to
be home right now, with my skates
sharp.
| would like to open the door OF your
old grocery, and take one long breath,
and die right there on the doorstep.
rather than to live in luxury in 3ny for
eign country. Do you know, | sometimes
go into a grocery store abroad and
smell around, in order to get my
thoughts on dear old America but
nothing abroad smells as the same
thing does in our country. IF I could
get one more smell of that key of
sauerkraut back of your counter, when
1t is ripe enough to pick, think
would break right down and cry for
Joy. OF course I have smelled sauer-
kraut over here, but it all seems new
and tame compared to yours. 1t may
be the kraut here is not aged enough
to be good. but yours is aged enough
to vote and sticks to your clothes.
Gee. but I just ache to get into YOUR
grocery and eat things, and smell
smells, and then lay down on the
counter with the cat with my head on
pile Of wrapping paper and go to
sleep and wake up in America, an
American citizen, that no king or
queen can tell to hush up and take
off my hat when l want my hat on.
You may wonder how we got out of
Monte Carlo. when we had lost
every cent we had gambling. Well
we wondered about it all night. and
had our breakfast sent up to our room.
and had it charged. expecting that
when the bill came in we would have
TO jump into the ocean, as we had no
gun TO kill ourselves with. Just after
breakfast a duke, or something, came
10 our room, and dad said it was all
off, and he called upon the Dakota
man to make speech on politics,
while dad and I skipped out. We
thought the duke. who was the mana
ger OF the hotel, would not under
stand the speech and would think we
were great people. who had got
stranded
The Dakota man started in on a
democratic speech that he used to de-
liver in the campaign of '96, and in
half an hour the duke held up his
hands, and the Dakota man let I'D on
the speech. Then the duke took out
roll of bills and said: lie shentle
men is what you call bust Is it not
so?" Daid said he could bet his life
it was So Then the duke handed
the roll of bills to dad. and said it
was tribute from the prince of
Monaco. and that We were his guests,
and when our stay was at an end, auto
mobiles would be furnished for us to
go to Nice. where We could cable home
for funds, and be happy
Well. when the duke left MS dad
said: "Wouldn't that skin you?" and
he gave the Dakota man one of the
bills to try on the bartender, and
when he found the money was good
we ordered an automobile and skinned
out for Nice. The chauffeur could not
understand English so we talked over
the situation and decided that the only
way to be looked upon as genuine au-
tomobilists would be to wear goggles
and look prosperous and mad at
everybody. We took turns looking
mad at everybody we passed on the
road, and got it down so fine that peo-
pie picked up rocks after we had
passed, and threw them at us, and then
We knew that we were succeeding in
being considered genuine, rich auto
mobile tourists. =
After We had succeeded for an hour