New-York tribune., 1905-06-28
HAD COLIC SOM

HAD COIIC SOME
There once was babe who was frolicsome
-Ah, yes!' said his dad.
With a smile that was said,
I'VE frolic each night-for he's colicsome!
-(CIeveland Leader.
THE Washington Post" relates that recently a
letter was received the Treasury Department ad-
dressed Uncle Sam Washington D. c." 1t reads:
please find in close 05ct For which want you to
tell the side of the nickel is heads and what is
tails. Use nickel for postage in return" The de-
partment replied that there head taip'
officially, but 'Obverse and reverse side" The
writer told TO toss coin and take his choice.
and the nickel was deposited in the Treasury.
A young woman who boarded crowded streetcar
going west in Market-st. the other afternoon paid
there was sspienty of room up 'front.' that She
finally made her way to the little space near the
now and then swayed and urched IN sympathy with
the jerks the m9torma9 man was admnstering to the
a crusty looking man who was sitting down. and
with Which he gared at her Soon the same thing
happened again. and not long afterward third
as he might be going to offer the girl s his hse seat
Instead of that. however. he sat still and continued
feet were made to walk on but prefer to do the
quack doctor whose treatment had evidently
led to the death of his patient examined
sternly by the coroner.
What did you give the poor fellow" asked the
coroner.
"Ipecacuanha, sir"
You might just well have given him the
aurora borealis' said the coroner
We'll, sir. that's just what 1 was going To give
him when he died"
IN BIOGRAPHVILLE
The people upon the move
In BfographvilIe!
All sorts of contortions they dearly love
In Biographville!
with Sllrnmer and simmer and notable Jerk
They laugh and they grieve they sport and they
On all of which humor's supposed to lurko
In Biographville!
They're frequent Of gesture and facial expression
In Biographvillei
Intensity seemeth perfect obsessiOn
Something is always quite certain TO happen
tn They're moving or eating or dancing scrappln-
In Biographville,
They're filed with the idea they're devilish funny
To me they're as dry herring funny
In BfOgraphville!
] would they were all in Vesuvius's crater.
Or sunk in a cavity several times greater.
The asses. the parodies on human mater
In BtOgraphville!
CNewOrleans Tfmes-Democrat.
A conductor of the Kansas City cars re-
ceived a surprise recently, according to 1.-THE
Times of that city. He helped woman on at a
downtown corner and was about to signal to go
ahead. when she called:
wait a minute. please. CONDUCTOR"
The in the uniform hesitated. The woman
was in front of OF the mirrors in the sides Of
the fixing" her hair. Just as he was about
to reach for the belcord again, she came toward
the back platform.
Let me Off please" she said. "I just wanted
to put my hair up a little better"
Then she stepped from the car. smiling sweetly.
AS TO Miss Observation-Disclosures a
"fTa as Tth DangSfers SeH y9hs nssorWhst is it srY
Methusaleh-You have been calling on my daugh-
ter one hundred years now and L want to know
If you business.-(Puck-
Visitors to Montreal will recall with pleasure
the charming park OF that city on ST. HeIen's
Island, in the midst OF the st. Lawrence. The
island belongs TO the Militia Department of the
a park has been only OF temporary character
liable at any time to termination. The depart
ment however, finding that the island Is too small
for it's intended use has decided to sell it to the
city of Montreal. and hence the romantic city by
the ST Lawrence will be assured of the perpetuity
of its beautiful park. which is OF the fairest
islands of river famed for it's Thousand Isles
Pleasant Relief.-Mrs. Spenders-Georse I've got
lots of things | want to talk TO you about 90
Mr.. Spenders-Glad to hear it. my dear Usually
you want to talk to me about lots of things YOU
haven't got but must have.-(PhiladeIpha Press.
London undertaken summoned for debt the
other day, told the magistrate that the HOLIDAYS
were coming and he would be able to pay after
that Cheerful holiday prospecti" remarked the
judge.
Knew All About shirring.-'T think" said the
eggs
"Aw. gon" cried the waitress Quit kid
din me
'Aw. you can't fool me. / used to be a seams
tress. and guess know it amt possible to make
gathers or tucks in egg."-(Catholc Standard
and Times.