The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-02
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GOOD
Shors Ctoriss:


A Canadian teacher fell heir last
year to an English estate of 10000.
In the lawyers office the clerks made
bets as to how she would take II.
one thought she would scream. two
were Of opinion that she would burst |
into tears, two others favored hyster-
les. Her reply to the messenger was
disconcertng: 81 shall finish my
monthly report, hear these spelling err
rors, whip two boys, and be at your
Office in forty minutes"
1t was Jennie's duty to read out
during breakfast time all the most in
teresting items Of the day. One morn
ing, after wading through the latest
Intelligence from the front, she turned
to another page Of the paper and said:
"Herbie, 1t says here that another
octogenarian is dead" whats an
octogenarianT "Wen, don't quite
know what they are, but they must be
very sickly creatures. You never hear
Of them but they're dying"
One day as a train from the East
pulled up at dinky little station Of
a most depressing town in the fever
analogue district of Arkansas, a pas
senger, thrusting his head out Of a
car window, demanded in bitter tones
Of dejected-looking citizen who was
leaning against the station door: Tell
me, what do you call this dried-up,
dreary, Godforsaken placer "rhats
near enough, stranger" replied the
native, in a melancholy voice; 'let II
go at that"
! 81 CHANGED to be in Chicago" said q
gentleman at dinner board to a com
2 pany Of fellow New Englanders, tive
or three days after the great fire OF
1871. AS l walked among the smok
: ing ruins, If l saw a man with 6
= cheerful air, knew he was resi-
dent Of Chicago; If l saw a man witt
= a long face, knew that he represent
e ed Hartford insurance company
a Really, the cheerful resignation witt
which the Chicago people endured thu
losses Of New England did honor t.
human nature"
u A story is told Of John Fiske whicl
: illustrates his frankness. One day hi
i wife had to report to him that thei
son had been guilty of calling Mrs
Jones, a neighbor, fool, and MI
J Jones a much worse fool. Prof. Fisk
:. sent for the youngster, and when b
! appeared in the library said to hin
sternly: my son, is it true that 20
- said Mrs. Jones was foolr' Hanl
= ing his head, the boy replied: aye
father, 1 did" "And did you call NJ
3 Jones a worse foolY' Eyes, father.
After a moments reflection the fl
nous historian said, slowly: "Wel
my son, that is just about the distin
ton l should make"
Patrick Gleason, the well-know
70 shoe manufacturer Of Brockton, OF
day hired a laster who was a vel
~ poor workman. The first shoe Il
~ man took off his last was so bad
lasted he did not dare put it on b
rack for inspection, but hid 1t und
his bench, intending to make a bett
ST Job Of 1t during the noon hour. II
RS second shoe was not much better, b
ms he thought it would pass, and start
So on the third. Mr.. Gleason. comii
oh along just then, picked up the sh
his that lay on the rack and examined
Then, turning to the laster, he sal
ITO angrily: "Tn bet you ten dollars y
M can't show me a shoe in this facto
in as badly lasted as this" "Pl ia
you on that bet" said the laster, al
he reaching down, he took the first sh
SEES from under his bench and handed
do TO Mr.. Gleason. Mr.. Gleason pa
Inf tha La star lost his lob