The San Francisco call., 1905-02-12

behind the bar for subsequence Of
the req wine
Thus soliIocuized the Consul of
Sore-toe-kangaroo to me and Henry
Horsecollar
But. Notwithstanding. we hired a
room that afternoon in the Gale de
los Angeles, the main street that runs
along the shore, and put our trunks
there. Twas a good sized room, dark
ano cheerful, but small. Twas on
various street. diversified by houses
and conservatory plants. The peas
antry of the citv passed to and fro on
the fine pasturage between the side
walks. Twas, for the world, like an
opera house where the Royal Kafooz-
lum is about 70 enter.
We were rubbing the dust off the
machine and getting fixed TO start
business the next day when big, fine
looking white man in white clothes
stopped at the door and looked in. We
extended the invitations. and he walk
ed inside and sized us up. He was
chewing long cigar and wrinkling his
eyes. meditative, like a girl trying to
decide which dress to wear to a party.
" New York; he says to me finally;
Originally, and from time to time,
! says. Hasn't it rubbed off yet?'
" It's simple says he, when you
know how. It's the fit OF the vest.
They don't cut vests right anywhere
else. Coats. maybe, but not vests.
The white man looks at Henry
Horsecollar and hesitates.
- 'Injun, says Henry; tame Injun.
Mellinger,' says the man-'Homer
P. Mellinger. Boys, you're confiscated.
You're babes in the wood without a
chaperon or referee, and it's my duty
to start you going I'll knock out the
n
the pellucid waters of Sore-toe-k -kanga-
roo. You'll have to be christeaed, and
If you'll come with me I'll break a bot
tie of wine across your bows, accord
ing to Hoyle.'
Well for two days Homer P. Mel
linger did the honors. That man cut
ice in Sore-toe-kangaroo He was it.
He was the Royal Kafoozlum. II me
and Henry was babes in the wood, he
was a robin redbreast from the top
most bough. Him and me and Henry
Horsecollar locked arms and toted that
phonograph around and had wassail
and diversion. There was vino tinto
and vino blanco to drink with every
tune. The aborigines had acquire
ments of a pleasant thing in the way
of drinks that gums itself to the recol
lection. They chop off the end Of a
green cocoanut and pour in on the
liquor of it French brandy and gin.
We had them and other things
Mine and Henry's money was coun
terfeit. Everything was on Homer p.
Mellinger. That man could find rolls
OF bills in his clothes where Hermann
the Wizard couldn't have conjured out
an omelette. He could have founded
universities and had enough left to
buy the eolored vote of his country.
Henry and me wondered what his
graft was. One evening he told us.
Boys says he, I've deceived you.
Instead of a painted butterfly, I'm the
hardest worked man in this country.
Ten years ago L landed on its shores
and two years ago on the point of its
jaw. Yes, I reckon I can get the de-
cision over this ginger cake common
wealth at the end of any round
choose. I'll confide in you because
you are my countrymen and guests.
even If you have committed an assault
upon by adopted shores with the worst
system of noises ever set to music.
my job is private secretary to the
President of this republic and my du-
ties are running it. I'm not lleadlined
ir the bills, but I'm the mustard in
the salad dressing. There isn't a law
goes before Congress, there isn't
concession granted, there isn't an i'm
pert duty levied, but what II. P. Mel