davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1905-05-11
A Goat Eats a Torpedo.

The widow Moriarty, of Melrose,
Pennsylvania, until last Thursday
had a pet goat, which was the idol of
her heart. She had nothing else up
on which to lavish her great wealth
of affection. When asked by her
neighbors why she didn't marry, the
widow wouldinvariablY reply: "Sure,
an Billy is company enough and he
don't smoke or drink, nor swear, and
he don't stay out nights. "
And the goat appeared to enjoy
the affection showered upon him, and
as he ambled along Jefferson avenue,
picking up stray doorscrapers, rail-
road spikes, tin cans and couch springs,
no happier animal could be found.
In an evil hour he found a railroad
torpedo and swallowed it. At sup
per time he came home, and seeing
a lace curtain upon line, ate it for
dessert.
Mrs. Moriarity ran into the Yrad,
and seeing only the end of the cur
tain in sight, threw a milking stool
at Billy, hitting him squarelY IN the
side, when Immediately the air was
filled with smoke, widow, goat, cur
tain and ironware. The widow was
thrown over fence, but was more
scared than injured.
They could find but few strag-
Cling pieces of the goat; his whiskers,
and the toes of tie left hind foot.
The widow placed them in box and
buried them beneath gooseberry
bush.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1905-05-11

"Before wrote to you, telling you how !
felt, 1 had doctored for over two years steady
and spent lots of money on medicines besides,
but it all failed to help me- Ny monthly pc
RODS had ceased and suffered much pain,
with fainting spells, headache, baokaohe and
bearing-down pains, and was 20 weak
could hardly keep around. As last resort
/ decided to write you and try Lydia Z. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound, and ! am 50
thankful that did, for after following your
instructions, which you sent me free OF all
charge, my monthly periods started am
regular and in perfect health. Had it not
been for you | would be in my grave to-day.
"I sincerely trust that this letter may lead
every suffering woman in the country to
write you for help as did"
When women are troubled with ir-
regular or painful menstruation, weak
ness, leucorrhea, displacement or ul-
ceration of the womb, that bearing
down feeling, Inflammation of the ova-
ries, backache, hatulence, general de-
bility, indigestion and nervous prostra-
ton, they should remember there is
one tried and true remedy. Lydia E,
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound at once
removes such troubles.
No other female medicine in the world
has received such widespread and un-
qualified endorsement. Refuse all sub
stitutes.
Mrs. Pinkham invites all sick women
to write her for advice. She has guided
thousands to health. Address, Lynn,
Mass.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1905-05-11

Your husband will pull through,
madam" the surgeons said, although
the injury to the skull Is quite severe,
and we shall have TO remove a small
portion Of the brain before the opera
tion is entirely over"
Don't remove any more than is abb
solutely necessary" pleaded the anz-
ious wife. "Poor George hasn't any
to spare.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1905-05-11
II l Had Known.

II had known when was young
Just how my future years would be:
II had known what Joy would come,
Aye. and what grIet to me;
How different woLld have been my course
From that which have travelled on:
How far from what am I'd be
If / had known.
If 1 had known when spring began
The changes of the coming year
Its every SORROW. every JOY.
Its grief. its passing fear
How much Of i'll might have sPurned;
What Joys were mine that now have flown
The world had been different place
II had known.
If had known-ah. foolish wish!
To hope to know, the die is cast:
10 know is to relnquish hope;
'Tis grief enough to know the past.
One cannot arm himself 'gainst fate,
Despite his power the storm "ill on;
Mine would have been a wretched life
III had known.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1905-05-11
Saved BY Dynamite.

Sometimes a flaming city is saved by
dynamiting q space that the fire can't
cross. Sometimes a cough hangs on so
long you feel as If nothing but dyna-
mite would cure it, Z. T. Gray, Of Cal
houn, Ga, writes my wife had a very
aggravating cough, which kept her
awake nights. Two physicians could not
help her; so she took DR.. Kings New
Discovery for Consumption, Coughs and
Colds, which eased her cough, gave her
sleep, and finally cured her." Strictly
scientific cure for bronchitis and Ia
grippe. At Reinhart's drug store, price
SOC and sl.00; guaranteed. Trial bot
tie free.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1905-05-11
Woe TO Delinquent Subscribers.

Sometime ago J. SLdell Brown,
publisher OF the Klngwood (W. Va.)
Argus, threatened to publish his de-
linquent subscribers if they failed to
pay up. Those who failed TO heed
his warning are now receiving atten-
ton, and we publish herewith few
samples of the way he writes up the
delinquents:
About dozen years ago fellow
named J. W. Low, of Morgantown, was
on our subscription list and got into
us to the extent of $475, and when
we tried to collect 1t and failed his
name was known to our list no long
er and he has lain Low ever since, 80
low that we have never gotten eight
of him so far as we know. He is EVIL
IDENTIFY very Low down on the fnan-
ciel scale, for nobody but Low Cuss
would beat an innocent, trusting coun-
try editor out of enough money to buy
a barrel of second grade -four or two
whole sides of SOW belly" bacon and
thus deprive him of feasting on the
fat of the land for thirty days or more.
Henry U. Sapp received the lead
ing county paper of this section, over
at Independence, until it amounted to
$8 40, and we concluded that he was
SaPpsucker and stopped sending it
to him. We don't know the man or
anything about him, except that he is
a Sapp whose money does not flow
freely. He may be dead for all we
know, as it Is ten or eleven years
since We had any dealings with him,
but if he is and made no better settle
ment with St. Peter than be did with
US all the Sapp in him has been dried
up long ago.
Sherd q. Shaw, a son Of the late
Uncle Ben" Shaw, beat US out of S.
worth Of Argus sent to him out in Cal
ifornia at Santa Barbara, Long Beach
and other points where be was located
trying to WOO the tickle goddess Of
fortune. He was bright fellow and
got along all right until he got too re-
ligious and then he forgot all about
his debts and friends in this country.
He joined the Salvation Army, be-
cause Salvation is free, and seemed
to get the idea that everything was
free. The last we heard Of him he
had gone to preaching, but the kind
of religion that enables a man to for
get his debts and friends CT his youth
is such slckly brand that We doubt
if it would thrive in California, even
where they grow most anything. Our
opinion is that Bro. Shaw will have
to get a receipt in iull from US before
his final settlement is confirmed in
higher latitudes.
Another distinguished citizen to re-
ceive attention in this column is B.
F. Miller, who operated in this Sec
ton few years ago and espoused to
be a one.horse Democratic politician
and tried TO write come stuff for this
paper. We finally got shut Of him
and he turned up at Morgantown and
had the Argus sent to him for awhile
until be got into trouble with Uncle
Sam and was arrested and sent to Jail
for selling booze. he still owes US
$l.75 and we suppose will never owe
US any less if he knows it nor any
more if we know it. ANY man that
tries to beat poor, confding country
editor is sure TO come TO some bad end
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1905-05-11

kissing and the Blue Laws of 1860.

In the judicial records Of the colo
ny of New Haven, now the State of
Connecticut, the following entry, made
in the court of the governor Of the
colony, appears regarding fsgrant
breach OF the peace committed May l,
1860: Sarah Tuttle went to Mis-
tress Murline's house for some thread
and Mistress Murline bid her go to
her daughter in the other room.
Whereupon her son, Jacob Murline,
came in and took up or took away
Sarah's gloves. She desired him to
give her the said gloves, which ne
answered he would do if she would
give him kysse. Upon which they
sat down together, his arms being
around her Waste and her arm up
on his shoulder or about his neck, and
he kyssed her and she kyssed him or
they kyssed one another for shout
the space of half an hour, which Mar
ian Murine now in court affirmed to
be so.
JACOB was asked what he had TO
say to these things, to which he an
swered that Sarah had with intent
let fall her gloves when he came in
to the room and that he took them up
and told her he would give her them
if so be that she would kysse him.
But Sarah hereupon testified that she
did not let her gloves fall with intent.
Further said Jacob that he took her
by the hand and they both sat down
upon a chest, but whether he kyssed
her or she kyssed him he knows not,
for lie never thought Of 1t since until
Mr.. Raymond spoke to him at Mamma
tos and told that he had not layde 1t
to heart as he ought. But hereupon
testified Sarah that she did not kyss
him, but being questioned would say
not as to whether he had kyssed her
or no.
"Mr. Tuttle testified that Jacob
had endeavored to steal away his
daughters affections. But hereupon
Sarah testified that he had not so stol-
en- her said affections. The governor
told Sarah that her mlsdeed is the
greatest; that a virgin should not be so
bold in the presence of others to carry
it as she had done; for though that
part of the kyssing is denied yet much
Is proved. Sarah professed that she
WAS sorry that she had carried it so
sinfully and foolishly, which she saw
to be hateful. She hoped that God
would help her to carry it better for
time to come. The governor also told
Jacob that his carriage hath been very
evil and sinful and to make such
light matter of it as not to think OF 1t
10th greatly aggravate.
"Whereupon the court declared
that we have heard In the publique
ministry that it is thing to be la
mented that young people should 50
misconduct themselves. AS for Sarah
her misdeeds are very great that she
should carry it in such an uncivil, i'm
modest manner as hath been proven.
And for Jacob, his carriage hath been
very corrupt and sinful, such as brings
reproach upon his family and place.
The sentence therefore concerning
them is that they shall pay either OF
them as fine 20 shillings to the col
ony."
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1905-05-11

The Moberly (Mo) Democrat tells
of a negro e1horter who shouted /:
"Cone up en- jine de army OBJ de Lohd. "
"Ise done jined," replied one Of the
congregation.
Wizard Yoh jine?" asked the e1-
horter.
"In de Baptist church"
"Why, chile" said the e1horter,
"you amt in de army, YOh's in de ma
Wy"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1905-05-11

An American young lady visiting
the tower Of London was shown some
cannon, which Britishers informed
her, somewhat -maliciously, were ta-
ken from the Americans at Bunker
Hill.
"Yes," said the young lady, "but
l notice We kept the hill"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1905-05-11
HIT SAVED MY LIFE"
PRAISE FOR A FAMOUS MEDICINE
Mrs. WilIadsen Tells How She Tried Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound lust
In Time.

Mrs. T. G. Willadsen, of Manning,
Iowa, writes to Mrs. Pinkham:
Dear Mrs IPinkham
q can truly say that you have saved my
life, and cannot express my gratitude 70
vOr in yyords
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1905-05-11
Pain and OIL Department.

Raw and Boiled Linseed Oil, Har-
ness Oil, Machine OH, Black Strap,
Turpentine, n. q. and Gas Tar, Cas-
olIne, Narnlsh, Japan Dryer, Knot
Killer, White Lead, Red Lead,
Spanish Brown, Calcined Plaster,
Portland Cement, Lard Oil, Plas-
JerIng Hair, Coal Oil, Neat Foot
Oil, Fish OH, Bath Brick Soap, Sui
phur, Copperas, Borax.
Patent Plastering prepared for immedi-
ate use.
International STOCK FOOD and Glea
sons Horse and Cattle Powders.
Frank Miller's HARNESS DRESSING,
Whale Oil Soap.
Black Lambs Foot Harness Oil.
THE PERFECTION Blue Flame Wick
less OIL Stove-satest and best.
The Four Leaf Glover CREAM SEPA-
RATOR, where the milk is not
mixed or diluted with water, leav-
ing IL pure and sweet for family use'
WALL PAPER furnished on short no.
tice AT reduced prices.
Reduced Prices Cd Haying Tools and
Barn D, .1.IL;ts Il u Track.
Force Pumps, Deep Well Pumps, Gal
vanized Bucket Pump and Water
Purifier, | Y l. Chain Pumps.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1905-05-11
NEW VOL. 40.--NO. "a
a Matter
OfHeaMh

There is a quality in Royal
Baking Powder which makes
the food more digestible and
wholesome. This peculiarly
of Royal has been noted by
physicians, and they accord
ingIy endorse and recon-
mend it.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1905-05-11

a preacher out in Kansas is re-
sponsible for this: i had occasion at
one time 10 hold Christmas services
in little town not far from Topeka.
The choir was composed Of two old
maids and two old bachelors. When
the chorus to the official Christmas
hymn was reached the old maids
along sang. Unto US a child was
born" and the old, bachelors followed
up with "W-o-n.d.e.r.f.u-l, w.o-n.d.
e-r-fu-L" Then some wsg in the
front pew had to snicker. That set
tied it. The choir quit abruptly and
the service came 10 an end.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1905-05-11

Papa-See here, Willie, you mustn't
bother me. When l was little boy,
l didn't bother my papa with ques-
tions.
Willie-Maybe if you had. pa, you'd
be able to answer mine.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1905-05-11
Garden Making.


am not going to attempt to tell you
hOw to make your garden. Your way
is, more than likely, good deal better
than mine, but do want to tell you
something you may not know about
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1905-05-11
Fire Wood For Sale.

We shall be pleased to supply you
with seasoned oak fire wood sawed to
stove length. We also furnish it split,
when desired, at a slight additional
charge. Send US a note at our office,
drop card in the postoffice or call US
on the phone. Terms, cash.
BENZ. HARTZELL.
SAINT. 20. lQ04-tf
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1905-05-11

Willy-Pa, what is a somnambu-
list2
pam inhsbitant of Philadelphia.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1905-05-11
LOudoun County Farm For Sale.

43l acres of land in Loudoun county.
Va, s miles from Point of Rocks ana Z
miles from Leesburg. VIII be sold at
an extremely low price. Apply to ID ID.
L. Snyder s. Co., Shepherdstown' W.
Va.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1905-05-11
StoneWaII jackson

moved in a mysterious way. So | do
myself. So if you wish your shoes re-
paired, just call on me at the Weltz-
helmer Building, near the Graded
School. Cheap Repairing-and don't
forget it. Respectfully,
G W. YONT2.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1905-05-11
Hardware Department.

Bar Iron Nails, Horse Shoes, Large
Iron Wash Kettles, Brass, Copper
and Porcelain Kettles, Skillets,
Waffle Irons, Trace, Butt, Cow and
Halter Chains, Farm Bells, Screen
Doors ana Windows, American
Fence Wire, Barbed Wire, Saws,
Black Hawk Corn Shelters, Lawn
Mowers, Files, All Sizes Bolts,
Loaded Shells Powder and Shot.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1905-05-11

Look here, butcher, this meat is
half bone"
"You are mistaken, sir. That is
good meat"
"DO you suppose / don't know bone
when I see it1 say this ia bone"
"Yes, certainly that's bone. The
bone is bone, bat the meat isn't. You
seid the meat was half bone"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1905-05-11

Father (from the top Of staircase =
Ethel. is that young man gone :"
Ethsl-AwfulIy, Papa.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1905-05-11
LANDRETH'S!

And they are fresh new crop seeds
each year. Haven't you seen US burn
the old ones in front of our store each
fall? Landreth makes all of his deal
ers burn up every seed left over and
pays them for it.
have a bigger supply of each varie-
ty of seed than ever, but would urge
you to come in right away for the guam
titles you will need, as your favorite
might be sold out if you put it off.
Besides the usual packages, | have
this season added all of them in bulk,
which makes them cost you less money.
Better come today.
Hills Pharmacy,
Formerly J. q. Gibson,
Where Landfeth's Seeds have been sold for years.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1905-05-11

City Boarder-"what's that odor I
smell"
Farmer-"Thst's fertilizer"
City Boarder-"Por the lands
sake !"
Farmer-"Yes ma'am."
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1905-05-11
Garden Seeds.

When firm has been doing business
continuously for over hundred years,
ought not that alone be sufficient rec
ommendation that there are no better
seeds grown than
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1905-06-02
SPRING EXCURSIONS.
Detroit and Return 5000, Buff
falO and Return LOO.

On June g. 9. 13 and Is, the
Duluth, South Shore and At
lantic Railway will run their
popular Rail and Lake excursions
from Duluth to Detroit, Toledo,
Cleveland and Buffalo.
The excursions will leave Du-
luth via the Duluth, South Shore
and Atlantic railway, connecting
at St. Ignace, Michigan with the
famous D. & G, Detroit & Cleve.
and Navigation company
steamers.
Detroit. .{and intermediate pointS... $500
Toledo and return $685.. 1880
cleveland and re urn ..................,..1 1880
Buffalo aud return. :. 14.0o
Limit-Final return oflast excursion JULY.
For full information regarding
the scenic route, palatial steam.
ers and special attractions for
these excursions, as we'll as for
sleeping car or stateroom reserv.
alton, please apply to
MART ADsoN,
General Agent,
$50 W Superior ST., Duluth.
Notice.
The ladies Of the Major Wilkin-
son Circle No. 81 G.. A. r. are re.
quested to meet with the mem,
bers of r. H. Carr Post tomorrow
afternoon at 2::30 p. m. Saturday,
June 3.
H. W. BAILEY,
J. M. FULLER, Com mander.
Adjutant.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1905-06-02

Z q Lar
Mrs. B. Il. Mageau last night
entertained party Of young
ladies consisting of Misses
Hardin, Leyde, Campbell and
Higgins at 8 o'clock dinner at
her home on Dewey avenue.
Games and music followed the
dinner.
Contractor No.. p. Smith has
been awarded the contract for
furnishing the lumber to be used
in the construction of the new
Brinkman hotel and the saloon
building being built on Third
street by the Duluth Brewing
and Mailing company
Even the first few doses of DR..
Alder's Treatment bring won.
derful relief to constipated
people. Its very pleasant taste
and certain laxative properties.
acting without pain or gripping,
all com bine to make it the ideal
remedy for constipation. Large
dollar bottles at p. N. French 4
Co.
Mrs. e. Cherrier returned this
morning to her home in Little
Falls after having spent several
weeks in Bemjdji the guest of her
sister, Mrs. George Tanner.
Mrs. Tanner and son accom-
panied Mrs. Cherries to Little
Falls, where they will visit rela-
tives for a month.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1905-06-02
Infant Son is Dead.

The community was shocked
this morning to learn of the death
of the ten months OLD son of Rev.
and Mrs. s.. 70. P. With. The
baby has been very sick for more
than a week with cerebro spinal
meningitis and his recovery has
hardly been expected from the
first. The sympathy Of the en-
tire city goes out to Mr.. and Mrs.
White in their grief. The funer
al will take place from the parson-
age tomorrow at two o'clock in
private, only friends of the fam.
lily being expected
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1905-06-02


On accountot the Grand Lodge
Patriarchs Military Rebekah AS
|sembly I. O. o. r. Of Minnesota,
June Is 10, and the Installation
of Civil War Flags and Trophies
at the new State Capitol Build
ing June a, the Great Northern
will sell tickets to st. Paul and
return atone fare plus 50 cents
for the round trip, tickets on
sale June u to Il, inclusive, with
final return limit June Il. See
local agent for furthur par
ticulars.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1905-06-02
REP AIRING
HE BRIDGES
Crew Of GreatNorthern Work.
men Strenthening Bridges
Along Line.

= =
All the bridges Of the Great
Northern railway between Grand
Forks and Duluth are being re-
paired and strengthened by a
crew Of workmen that at present
is working on the bridge across
the Mississippi in Bemidji. The
crew started from Grand Forks
and has been working eastward
and has completed about half the
work along the line. New piling
is being driven wherever needed
and the old timbers of the bridges
are being replaced by new ones.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1905-06-02
Assaulted Old Man.

A warrant is out for Frank
Robinson of Turtle River charg.
ing him with assault committed
upon the person of J. G. Hursh at
Turtle River yesterday. The
assault was committed yester-
day and warrant was at once
issued. A search has been made
for Robinson BUTT is claimed
that he has disappeared.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1905-06-02

Tan's are ripe. See Straw's
display of high and low tan shoes.
Their cit. this season.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1905-06-02
Mill Wood for Sale.

During the coming summer,
Yves Wright will handle all the
mill wood at the Crookston Lum-
Der company, having secured
that right from the mill manage
ment. Wood will be delivered
for So per load. See Yves Wright,
or call up phone No. 45 or the
Crookston Lumber company.