Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1905-04-01

The derrick isn't handsome, but it
has an uplifting nfluence.-Philadel-
phia Record.
New'Year's: First Resolution-How
are you feeling? Second Resolution
Broke.-Life.
Father from top of staircase) -
Ethel is that young man gone? Ethel
Awful funny, pa.--Grit.
do you think Banks ever fooled his
wife successfully" Il know It, He
married her"-Detroit Free Press.
What is worse than owing money
you can't pay?" Being owed money
you can't collect Ledger.
Miss Snowflake-Whatd did jim Jack
son git married for? Miss Washtub-
Lawd only knows-he keeps right on
workin' Puck.
She-Do you think that a woman
can truly love but once? He-Well,
if that's the only chance she has-yes!
Detroit Free Press.
Papa, will you send me to Europe
to study music?" NO; you can study
it here, and I'll send you to Europe to
practice. Houston Post.
Never tell secret, dear 1t would
be a great breach of confidence"
What must | do with it, mamma p
"Well-bring it to me.'-Madame
Father-But do you think you can
make my daughter happy? Suitor-
Happy! Say, you should just have
seen her when I posed.-Brooklyn
Life.
Mamma-Don't lounge that way,
Tommy. Sit up like a man. Tommy
Why, mamma, men sit down; it's only
dogs and rabbits that sit up.-Phila-
delphia Press.
Teaspout-Why are you so angry
with the doctor? Mrs. Teaspout -
When l told HIM | had a terrible tired
feeling he told me to show him my
tongue. -EXchange
HoaX-They say the sultan of Tur-
key scares his wives nearly to death.
Joax-Yes; I've always heard that he
was a harem-scarem sort of fellow
Philadelphia Record.
Smiggs-There goes man who has
done much to arouse the people.
maggs-Great labor agitator, eh?
Smiggs-No; manufacturer of alarm
clocks.-Chicago Ledger.
Mrs. Henpeck-This paper says that
married women live longer than single
ones. Mr.. Henpeck-Heavens, wOm-
an! Can't you think of something
pleasant to talk about?-Borrowed.
Freda-He claims to be related to
you. and says he can prove it. Floyd
Related to me? Why that mans a
fool. Freda-Of course, but that may
be a mere coincidence.-Illustra
Bits.
Mrs. Hayrix-Them air Japs must
be kinder hard up for somethin tew
read. HayriX-Why so, Mandy? Mrs.
Hayrix-This paper says they went
an took a lot Nv Russian magazines
Exchange.
4NClNOu olu l4iuS NOll SN'NhLi iiOOA
of hoteD-Do you know what precau-
tons the proprietor or the hotel has
taken against fire? Porter-Yes, mum;
he has the place inshoored for twice
wot it's worth Gazette.
Frenzied Finance: The Farmer lex
citedly)-Say, Mister COnstubble, I've
jest bin bunkered out NV every durn
cent! The Policeman Qrritably)-We
don't holer to me, you cOme-on! l
amt no magazine publisher!-Puck.
Mrs. Watkyns-Henry, l want dol
lar this morning. Mr.. Watkyns-Great
Caesar, woman. DO you think that
am made of money? When you want
large amounts you ought TO let me
know u hours In dvance.-Somer-
vile Journal.
Irate Employer-See here, you young
Rip Van Wrinkle, | only hired you yes
terday; and | believe, on my SOUL
you've been asleep around here ever
since! Sleepy Joe-That's what l
though you wished, sir. Here's your
advertisement: "Wanted-An office
boy, not over 1G; must sleep on the
premises."-New Orleans Times-Dem-
ocrat.
Fish that Change Color.