The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1905-03-22
JUST FOR FUN
@S@EYS5lqs. 80 81

He-Witty people make me tired!
She-Um. Keeping up with them?-
Detroit Free Press.
Il hear he is very happy as an after
dinner speaker" "Pssibly, but it is
more than may be said for his audi
ence. Brooklyn Life.
Miss Planely-Reggie says grow
prettieer every time he sees me. Miss
Roastem-You ought to have him call
oftener.-Cleveland Leader.
Bacon-How is Briefs standing at
the bar? Egbert-I don't know much
about his standing, but his lying
seems all to the good!-Yonkers
Statesman.
"a blizzard is big nuisance" said
Uncle Eben, "but it's a sort O. com.
fort to fin sumpin disagree'ble dat
can't be blamed on a trust wash
ington Star.
"The life of an insurance agent"
sighed PREMIUMS, SIS full of worm
wood and gall" 81 hadn't noticed the
wormwood," growled the victim
Cleveland Leader.
What is tire chief product of the
United States?" asked the teacher in
a European school. And without hes
itation the bright pupil replied:
Money. y."-Washing Star.
Maudie-Why did you fire your
chauffeur? Mayme-Lost his nerve
after running over three people the
other day and allowed two others to
escape.-Chicago Daily News.
Tiggins-I guess nobody was sorry
when Skinfiint died. Wiggins-Oh, il
wasn't so bad as that. | heard Joe
Scroggins say he was sorry Skinflinf
hadn't died long before.-Boston Tran
script.
well, Jane, did you have a good
time at home? Was the village very
gay?" Eyes, thank you, num- But
we was rather disappointed, as the
policemen's feet didn't come OFF,
Punch.
Willie-Pa, what does "panegyric"
mean? Pa-Let me see. Oh, yes; it's
medicine to make you sleep. used
to have to give it to you nearly every
night when you were a baby.-Phil-
adelphia Ledger.
Doctor-Madam, I can never cure
you of this throat trouble if you don't
stop talking. Lady-But doctor, I'm
awfully careful what say, and new.
er use anything but the choicest Ian
guage.-Detroit Free Press.
"It took Jim Bronson two years to
learn the trick" What trick?" "Why,
when he wanted his wife to do thing
he told her so, and of course she
wouldn't do it. Now he tells her not
to do ."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Henpeck-So you consulted a for.
tune teller, eh? What did she tell
you? Youngman-She told me | was
born to command and Henpeck-
All! She means then that you are
never to marry.-Philadelph Ledger.
'Do you know where my poor little
ugly duckling is?" asked the dis.
tressed mother duck "Afr madame"
replied the polite but still hungry fox,
81 have inside information on that
point you will soon meet your little
ne."-Philadelphia Press.
Waggsby-f'm going to be mighty
saving of my shrimp anl minnows
next time go fishing. Naggsby-Why
so? Waggsby-Haven't you noticed
how the government is watching the
lines that indulge in too many re-
bats ?-Baltimore American.
81 suppose it's always hog-killing
time in your town, Miss Packer?"
sneered the New Yorker. "Oi yes,"
replied the fair visitor from Cincin.
natl, "but don't let that keep you
from visiting us. We always protect
our Observation-Disclosures Press.
81 was reading today in the newpa-
per of the great American desert;
what is the great American desert?"
asked the lady at the head of the
table. why, | believe the great
American dessert is prunes," deplied
the thin boarder feelingly,-Yonkers
statesman.
Examining Physician (for insur
ance company)-Tm afraid we can't
take you. sir. You are too great a
risk. Applicant (resignedly)-Well,
perhaps | am. The fact is, that when
| get sick I never send for a doctor
just lay around until get well. Exam.
lining Physician-Eh? Um-we1l take
you.-New York Weekly
Harry (reading aloud)-"Thence
two feet to certain point. thence six
inches to another, and thence three
feet to- =" Father-What's that
you're reading, son? Harry-It's a
treasure story, sir. Father (resuming
paper)-Humph! Sounds like direc.
tions for a trombone solo!"-New Or.
leans Times-Democrat.