New-York tribune., 1905-02-06
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

1t is asserted by THE London Globe" that
methodical and businesslike bank clerk in a coun-
try branch forwarded letter 20 the following ef-
feet to the head office: Greatly regret to inform
you died this morning OF pneumonia John
Smith. per James Brown"
write an up-to-date sea story. when you haven't
The Author-Well i've been married for twenty
years. and yet can write a love stOry.-Qife
Admiral j. Moresby writes to The London
Times to tell how when he discovered two noun
tains in New Guinea, he named one Mount Glad
stone and the other Mount Discaeu He wrote 20
the two statesmen asking permission to their
names and their replies which he gives are char
acteristic of the humcr OF and the want of
humor OF the other.
Gladstone wrote:
Hawarden Castle, Chester August IL 1874
Sir: I have the honor TO acknowledge the receipt
Of your lie Ietsc & OF June a. and 70 return my best
Geseryea % & as L is In naming afSsg ne the highest
Allow me TO subscribe myself, sir. your most
captain Moresby. R. N H N BsIsx
Disraeli wrote:
10. Downing-st., August II. 1874
ment you have paid me by planting my name on
the northeast shores of New Guinea, and in select
WhGh Ft; faGss Mount Dsre an dear sir t2i5h-
Captain Moresby. r. N. H. NJ s Basilsk. ---
Later DisraeH wrote:
! hope we shall agree better in New-Guinea than
Readers of the agony column OF a London
newspaper have followed with all the tense interest
awakened by love romance published serialiy a
long continued exchange Of personals between "A
Shy Lady and her silent Worshipper" Not
only the paper which published the advertisements
but other dailies took up the absorbing theme OF
the persistent swain and the crcumspect vo,lnR
woman. AT last the Silent Worshipper'' seemed
in fair way TO win the rewards of his ''ad' writ
ing. for meeting appointed for Kings Cross
station Thirty reporters and newspaper artists
assembled, and sentimental old ladies' from distant
suburbs turned up IN regiments Scouts were post
cd at every entrance to watch for the arrival OF
the principals. The entire stan OF the station
sauntered idly about the platform But the lady
and her lover remained away. and II is suggested
that the romance was merely joke so much
an agate line
The Real Question.-Hushand (house hunting)-
Do you think. dear. We can get our piano through
was Of my new hat-tLife
Ole oleson. ''lumSerjack." carrying l75O pairs
cf gloves and mittens. LIS pairs OF socks and s.
pounds OF tobacco. was arrested a suspicious
character In Ashland Mimi. the other day, lie pro-
tested TO the police that he had come into posses-
sion Of the goods honestly. When pressed he de
cared that he won the articles at poker I'm the
lumber camp. Oieson sai6 he had been in the
woods many months. Tho "lumbecJacks' received
no money while In the woods. bat We're expected to
wait until they returned TO town for their pay At
the company store in the woods the men could
get such articles rs they desired however having
them charged against their time AccordinsIy the
men used merchandise instead OF checks in ther
games CleSon said he played In good luck and IN
one game where socks were the stakes he won ~
pairs OF hosiery ON three aces The other man
held trio OF kings IL game for mittens OLE
son said, the limit was HIGH aud In three hours OF
play he had mittens enough 20 s,ipplv a rerir,,nt
OF soialeFs Ills story sounded reasonable, ana ne
was released 10 so and cash In his checks"
Queer Ways..Yes the ways OF Providence are
past nndin out. said Aunt Sall, - shs ruSk.s, X.
ana fro and narrowed tne ns.i VI ~sosslnx" Il
mad no more hopes OF Eotn the worlds Sair 49,
ei nyln but along comes stroke Of Iightnin an
Kills my John' and the children insist that taEe
some or his tte Insurance money ana 90 - -
Loms. ! 80. but ! am not there a week when /
lose a pair OF spectacles that cost me two sh5n.s
anu nave 70 come homo because 1 can.t .as
nuthin.'-lchcago NswA "