davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1905-06-26

thirty days from date Of sale. Tickets
On sale June l to October /.
Pueblo, Colorado Springs, Denver,
Colo, and return. Fare $2G.25. Tick
cts on sale June 80 to July 4. Final
return limit July IA, except that ex-
tension of this limit may be secured
by payment of extension fee.
Toronto, Can, and return. Fare for
round trip one first-class fare plus s.
Tickets ON sale June 18 to %. Limit
for return June 80, except that by pay.
nent of extension fee OF 81 this limit
may be made August 25.
Buffalo, N Y, and return with the
E'ks. Fare for round trip one first
class fare plus 81. Tickets on sale
July Z to g. Limit for return July Is
except by payment Of fee extension
Lay be secured to August 4.
H. N. Atwood, Agent.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1905-06-26
more she has the more she loves
Would she want me-"

iiioie Siie mas tne more she loves
Would she want me-"
why. that would never occur to
her. She would accept you as mat.
ter of course"
NO! No, She has enough al.
ready. Besides what chance would
| have? Why I'd he nothing better
than a picllpccket in fifteen years.
Anybody clse?@
The coed stork siahed.
Plenty" he observed. Here's
nice college graduate. My, but
she's we'll educated She's an intel
lectual wonder"
Gould she bathe me properly. feed
me properly and clcthe NE proper
ly?"
Dear me, no. She doesn't know
anything about such matters"
well. go on-any mcreo"
oh, yes. But
81 know of what you are thinking.
They are an incompetent LOT, aren't
they? Dear old stork"--
The baby arms reached UP and
clasped themselves pleadingiy around
the grizzled old birds neck.
DO me real favor. will you
--now?"
The stork bent over. With a
premonitory flap he had already be-
gun to turn in his flight.
'tYes. he said. "Just once-as an
exception I'll dc what you say.
What do you wish?,'
"Only this. dear stork Take me
back to where I came from. Tom
Mason in Life
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1905-06-26
THE MS. OF THIS JOKE WAS
FOUND IN THE ARK

Brown Go Sharpe, who prides him
self en- his spelling)-I bet I can give
you a word you can't spell.
Sharpe (scornfully)@ bet you
can't.
Brown-Very we'll How do you
spell need" meaning to need bread?"
Sharpe-PoGf. K-n-e-a-d, of course.
Brown-Wrong! Meaning to knead
bread. YOU said. didn't you?
Brownies.
Sharpe-WeH, it's k-n-e-a-d, I tell
you.
Rrcvn-Not at all. You k-n-e-a-d
dough but need bread. It's a sim
pie word; sorry syou couldn't spell IT,
London Tit-Bits..
Fl
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1905-06-26
COTTON BELT TIME CARD
Trains North

No. 2.-Leave Pine Bluff :25 D. m.
arrive St. Louis 7:34 a. m.; arrive
Memphis 7:3O p. m.
No. 4-Leave Pine Bluff 12: SIS a. m. :;
arrive Memphis a. m, arrive st.
Louis 6:51 p. m. arrive Cairo 1:25
p. m.
Little Rock Train
No. 32-Leave Pine Bluff $3.50 p. M:
arrive Little Rock 6:20 0. m.
No. 31-Leave Little Rock sos 4
M: arrive Pine Bluff 1926 a. m.
Trains South
No. leave MempI Is $40 a. M
leave st. Louis at SAB p. M:
arrive Pine Bluff 3:45 p. m.; arrive
Texarkana 8:35 p. m.
No. 3-Leave st. Louis $50 p. ms
leave Memphis 8:20 p. M: arrive
Pine Bluff 1:55 a. m; arrive Texar.
kama 7:30 a. n.
p. q. A. p Trains
Leave Pine Bluff go p. m.
Arrive Pine BLUM 1910 a. m.
Sunday
Leave Pine Bluff p. m.
Arrive Pine Blufi a. m.
8. N. Dickey. Agent
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1905-06-26

ished until you can throw the far
thest or throw the straightest. Then
when you enter business life this
matter Of getting ahead will become
habit.
Do What You Can Do Best.
New want to give YOU anotber
'hlhS 10 thlnk about while vop'rp
growing UP and preparing to win fame
and fortune in the commercial world
IL IS this: Don't try to do what ven
llke-do what you can. That's =
sood companionp piece for "stick +o
your last. Don't let the attraction
OF something you don't know h1rn
you away from the thing you do
know. Once upon time a young
man whose father made pickles and
who had learned the pickle business
from A to z. decided that he'd like
to go into the business CT making
molasses candy He didn't know
anything about it. but he liked molas-
ses candy and thought it would be
great fun to make it and sell it.
So he nrcceeded to try his hand at
the business. The result was dis.
astrous. His candy wasn't coed
candy. because he didn't know how to
make it properly. and therefore. no
body wanted tc buy. Finally he
went back to the pickle business and
made fortune. because he certainly
did know how to make good pickles.
and everybody bought them.
10 what you can and stick to If
That's wisdom. About the most
striking sentence I remember is this
one, written by the great phlosc nher.
Thomas Carlisle: "The king is the
man who can" There's a whole
volume Of sound sense in thoce
seven one-sy1lable words. All the
elements of success are there set
forth and the whole secret of great
/ ness sticks out conspicuously from
that simple sentence-sThe king is
the man who can.''
every Boy May Be A King.
It is possible for all you bows tc 10
kings, provided each fits himself ~
90 some one thing better than others
! DO it. But you must work and study
ana persevere. You can't Inherit
klnsships from your fathers; you must
win them in competition with the
world. AS to how to 60 abcut this
! every boy will have to werk out the
nroblem for himself. There is no fixed
rule for determining the eanahil'7ips
OF any boy. and the methods TINT will
convert one bundle Of human mate
rial into a successful business man
may prove a total failure when an.
piled to the next parcel Boys in
their dispositions and possibilities
bear striking resemblance to toads.
bid you ever poke a toad t. make it
jump? IF you did. then you know
that you can never tell what direct
ion or how far toads viii jump until
after they have been pc'scd. And
it's the same with boys We never
know what a hey can do until after
he has been tested. }'t were sure
cf one thing. and that i, this If
a boy chooses his last in the light Of
his ability. and sticks to it through
thick and thin. he'll win out in the
! end.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1905-06-26
NO NEW ONES.

A friend of the familly-You are
very lucky, my boy. to be the seventh
son. 1t will bring you everlasting
focrtune.
Son No. 1T hasn't SC far. All
it's brought yet is the old clothes of
my six brothers-Detroit Fress
Press.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1905-06-26
90 at the cobbler's bench

,oce at the cobbler's bench
nittance, William L. Doug
assachusetts, has risen to
executive position in the
of governor, and has made
millionaire. He is today
sucessful man" in business
&c and has just had the
aeclining a second nomina-
cvernor which was practi-
red to him.
IS and precepts of success
by him through the Boston
merican. They are rules
as tried and tested; the
ch have elevated him to the
bosition in the gift CT the
rules which have won for
hormous fortune.
Eernor is interested in boys.
res that these rules are CIV
10 benefit CT boys. Here
are the secrets of success?
III the boys of Massachusetts
hink they are? Recently, in
D a delegation of bright-faced
,1d them that they should, in
make the most of life, obey
maxim. ',Stick to your last" )"
don't you'll find that old ogre,
.ouble, bobbing up in your
every now and then. and
YER get to be on speaking
ith success.
. YOU know, favors the brave.
the battle of life the really
an is the cne with enough
to "stick to his last" in the
early rebuffs and temporary
He's the fellow who will
v be able to laugh at trouble
ct chummy with success.
would you think of a shoe
no, after making part of a
one last. became dissatisfied.
ed another shoe on a differ
keeping up this method un-
/ finally spent all his money
and had nothing but a lot OF
led shoes to show for it.
vav to DO. isn't it? But it's
foolish than for a young
ackle a new line of business
lie while until he grows too
,rn anv business thoroughly.
Ambition at Top No+c".
,ing in nature IS fitted to
hing we'll and spends its
) doino it. Yc.a never hear
Mt gcing into the honey
business: nor of the bee
ant-hills for a change, F > "''
IS its nlace in the word and
it. and that is what bove
if they would accomplish
lgs.
rse boys are somewhat hand.
as compared with the bees
You see, boys are not Of
with a knowledge of just
d CT last they're best fitted
way on. But nearly every
n early age displays an apti
something. and if that aptl'
properly developed the pro
selecting a last is simplified
amember to always keep
,it ON up to top notch. What
do. try to do It better than
r fellow. At school make
t to stand at the head OF
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1905-06-26

The man who advertises only once
In a while does not get the full value
of his advertising. He is in meas
ure a new advertiser every time he
adyertises.-Dry Goods Economist.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1905-06-26

= For first-class cleaning and re-
:. pairing call or phone John Har. .
= ris' Pantorium, 624 East Third .
I. avenue. Old phone $40. .
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-23
IBy Chauncey Munchausen Sellers

tion of the hour. AS usual, he had an
antidote for which patents are pending.
few drops of it counteracted the eff
fects of the microbe and restored the
aldermen to their natural quietude.
Never did men feel SO useless and fool
ish as did those aldermen who came
out of their fever and settled down to
business, like boy in a potato field
after a night at the circus.
The news of the aldermanic expert
ments got abroad and their secretaries
were swamped with applications from
society people for loan of the bugs.
One lady wrote "My husband has been
at home but three times in the last six
years. Please send me brace of your
most trustworthy bugs by express and
draw on me for any sum for any chari-
ty that you may wish to aid"
A gentleman wrote that his wife was
about to elope with a foreigner because
she could not have Mansfield's COM
pany with a private theater open every
night in their Fifth avenue house. He
thought that a couple of the love bugs
would bring her back to earth again
and send the foreign duke about his
business. The secretary of the board
answered that the aldermen could not
interfere in the social affairs of the
city.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-23

From the Minneapolis Journal.
The stamp was round. 1t bore the
plain inscription British Guiana, 2
Cents" There was no ornamentation
on 1t of any kind.
"A thousand dollars" said the dealer.
1.-The last one / sold brought twenty
more than that If you want 1t you
can have II for thousand. A bar
gain"
Thanks" said the collector: I'm not
looking for bargains today"
The dealer produced another stamp.
Hawaiian Postage Two Cents" it
said, and in the middle in a scrollwork
square the figure 80" appeared.
81 can put no value on this stamp"
the dealer said. only four copies Of
II are known to be in existence. TO say
It Is worth its weight in gold would be
nonsense. 1t would be nonsense to say
1t is worth its weight in diamonds.
Nonsense even TO say 1t Is worth Its
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-23

of noble blood about to enter her car
riage. She returned his glance with
melting eyes, and the colonel felt him
self drawn toward her.
The driver thought the man was III
and about to fall, and, looking around,
neglected his horses-result, trolley
car upset the vehicle and the lady was
hurled against big policeman, who
was putting passengers aboard the
trolley Col. Rheingold leaped to the
rescue, dragged her from under the
hoofs of the frightened horse, and be-
fore he knew where she was at she was
thanking him from her heart. He Was
too astonished to reply for the moment.
She thought him a foreigner and ad-
dressed him by turns in French,
Italian, Spanish, German, Russian and
other languages, until she returned to
English. Then the revived colonel re-
piled in terms so eloquent that the lady
invited him to assist her to her hotel,
and the result was that on the coloners
return to the adjourned microbe meet
ing of the board the following day the
beautiful countess who languished on
his arm almost hypnotized the alder
men with her beauty and exquisite
grace of manner.
Fortunately Col Munchausen was
able to bring order out of the intoxica-
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-23
Valuable Collections of Stamps

weight in radium. 1t is probably the
most valuable stamp In the world"
He took down New Haven stamp.
attached to its original envelope.
"These New Havens." he said, "is-
sued by the New Haven postmaster be-
fore the government began to issue
postal stationery are very rare. sold
a New Haven last year for $1,000. VIII
you have this at the same figure?"
mot today" said the collector.
perhaps you'd like these two Maui
ritius, the Post-ohice Pair the penny
and the twopenny stamp? No collection
is complete without the Maurltius
POST Office Pair Their market price
is $780,"
The collector shook his head
"Then you'll excuse me, won't your"
said the dealer. "A red haIf-anna has
just arrived from India and an insur-
ance agent is waiting In my office to
insure It, He insures all my stamps"
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-23
The MiCrObe of Love

UNDOUBTEDLY the greatest sem
sation in the history of the board
~ of aldermen came when Colonel
Munchausen discovered the microbe of
love. There was scarcely a self-con-
tanned man in the room as he exhibited
a bottle of these wonderful insects
swarming like infinitesimal globules of
quicksilver, dancing and sparkling in
all the colors Of rainbow.
Alderman Finn of the Bronx and
''Tommy" McDermott of Harlem, who
had taken a special night class course
in science, produced powerful magnify
ing glasses and declared that the mi
crobes were a species of the late kiss
ing bug, so notorious a few years ago
in Manhattan.
AS proof that all great minds breed
similar microbes Colonel Munchausen
said that he had received that very
morning a bottle of Turkish microbes,
said 10 be a powerful auxiliary to the
sultan's imperial harem. He read u
letter from the American consul IN
Constantinople saying that the Turk
ish microbe of love had been the most
powerful influence in preserving Mo-
hammedan matrimonial institutions
from invasion and decay.
This and much more was under dis
cusslon when Alderman Riggardi OF
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-23

Then the bugle blew for everybody to get
up and go to the show lot and put up the tents
for the first show of the season. When we
got out of the sleeper we asked where we
were, and man told pa we were at Peoria,
complimentary ticket for telling what town
we were in, but pa looked fierce at the
man and asked what kind Of an easy mark
he took him for, and the man skunk away.
You wouldn't think they could unload those
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-23

then we went out on the lot to supcrintend
the putting UP of the big tents. The greatest
thing was wagon containing a miniature pile
driver run by steam which was driven around
outside of where the big tents were to be, and
ii drove down the big stakes SO quick it would
make your head swim, and the grounds were
covered with Peoria people, who wanted to
see how it was done.
Pa initiated the boss canvasman by walk
ing around the lot with his coat over his arm
and dirty shirt on, trying to look tough and
he bossed the sghtseers about and acted cross,
and told man and woman with baby
wagon to get off the lot, but pa was called
down by t principal owner of the show good
and plenty
Said the owner to pa: Remember the sue
cess of our show depends on the friendship
and good will of the people who think enough
OF us to come out to see us set up keeping
house, and they are our guests, and if they get
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-23

the young lady in the third floor back,
who takes her board out in piano les
sons, is a serious sacrifice. Now, l ask
what for?
Why is all the world playing an un-
necessary piano?
Marriage has a fatal effect on music.
For some occult reason as soon as a
girl is married the piano-the grave OF
so much money and time-retires out
of active life, and swathed in "art dra-
peries,' burdened by vases. cabinet
photographs and imitation "curlos, /"
serves less as musical instrument
than warning; but no sooner are the
next generations legs long enough TO
dangle between the keyboard and the
pedals. than the echoes awaken to the
same old false notes that serve no pur-
pose unless an hour Of daily martyrdom
over tear-splashed keyboard is an ex-
cellent preparation for the trials OF life.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-23

the Italian district, moved that a prac-
tical demonstration of the microbe :
ability to kindle the flame of love be
made in the presence of the members.
Accordingly on motion of Santa Claus
Westover, Alderman Kinsella of
Brooklyn, Captain Seltzerwater of
Long Island and William b. Mcintyre
of Washington Heights were appoint
ed committee to handle the microbes
and see that the tests were genuine.
In less than five minutes by the big
clock after the aldermen were bitten
by the insects half a dozen members
announced pressing engagements and
begged to be excused. The president
who was also bitten in the hand, re-
signed the chair to his friend, Fritz
Gauzemuller, and said that he'd return
in an hour.
Such was the prelude to the extra
ordinary scenes of the afternoon.
Within an hour the aldermanic cham
ber was packed and palptating with
beautiful young women typewrilers
and teachers from the public schools,
ladies of wealth and genius. all an
nounced as guests Of their respective
friends, the aldermen.
Most Of them figured as cousins or
sisters-in-law, and, Of course, as nearly
every man in the room had been Bit
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-23

sat down to the table of the negro canvasmen,
and they struck because they would not asso-
ciate on an equality with white trash
Gee but pa was mad He said he was as
good as any nigger, and that made them mad
and they threw boiled potatoes and scrambled
eggs at pa, and we had to retire, but when pa
complained to the boss canvasman he told
pa to go and eat with the freaks and try and
keep in his place.
We got breakfast at another table, and
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-23

in our way we should go around them and
look pleasant. We must not get the big head
and show that our hair pulls and that we are
tired and cross. This is place of amuse-
pected to heal up sores, instead of causing
bruises and if you ever see an employe of this
show treating visitor unkindy send him to
the ticket wagon to get his wages, and tell
him to go away quick and stay away long"
You could have lit match to pas face,
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-23
Piano as an Instrument of Torture

Mrs. John Lane in London Outlook.
My landlady's little boy, separated
from me only by a thin lath partition Of
a wall, is playing five-fnger exercises
in hating rhythm and with innumer-
able false notes. Tho instrument is one
in which the flight Of years has left a
tone like dlscontented nutmeg crater.
The little boy. pale child in a long
pinafore and big white ears, hates his
chosen instrument as much as / do.
and so we met on level Of mutual
affiiction. l loathe hearing him, and he
hates his instrument; now, in the name
Of good common sense, why must he be
offered up as a sacrifice?
His mother Is poor woman. and the
tinkling cottage piano with the plated
faded green front represents the chops
and many other wholesome things she
has not eaten, and what she allows
Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-23

MAY I've had the darndest time get
ting packed up and started on tie road. How
in the name of heaven we ever got half the
things on the cars is more than | know, but
it seems as though the circus company had
man to look after everything, and he had men
under him to look after his regular share OF
things, so when the cars were loaded and the
boss clapped his hands and the engineer toot-
ed his whistle there wasn't tent stake or
rope or board seat or anything lett behind.
Every man knew exactly where the things
were that he was responsible for, so he could
Law his hands on them in the dark, and he
knew lust what wagon his stuff was to go in.
Gee, but you talk about system, there is no
business in the world that has system like
a show on the road. Every performer was in
his or her section in the sleeper, and pa and
| got an end section with the freaks the fat
woman across the aisle from us. That fat
woman is going to make life burden Tor pa.
l can see that plain enough. She is engaged
to the living skeleton, and he sleeps in the
upper berth over her, and he is jealous of pa,
while the fat woman has got to depending on
pa to do little things for her.
Of course, the first night out is always the
worst on a sleeper, and the poor woman is
nervous, and when the animal train, in the
second section, ran on side track beside our
train of sleepers and Raah, the boss lion
got woke up and exploded one of his roars
within six feet of the fat woman's berth
she lust gave one yell and reared up and came
down hard in the berth. Something broke and
- )f I'D hertI
to the floor, doubled up like jackknife
Pa Butts In
Pa got up and went to her BERTH though
/ told him to keep away, cause he would get
into trouble First he stumbled over one of
her shoes and said he thought he had told
everybody to keep their telescope vaises in
the baggage car, and that made her mad.
Then he reached in the berth and got hold of
one of her feet, and pa got the men to help
and they got her out, but she seemed all
squushed together She sat up all night and
wanted to lean on pa, but the skeleton kept
his head over the rail of the upper berth and
his snake-ke eye never left pa all night.
The bearded woman got up out Of her
berth about daylight to go to the toilet room
for a shave or hair cut or something, and
when she saw Pa trying to soothe the fat
woman and hold her from breaking in Two
she screamed and slapped pas face and had
mess of Mysteries. The fat woman grabbed a
couple of handfuls of female whiskers and
was going to pull them out by the roots when
the bearded woman begged her not to pull
them out, as to lose her whiskers would de-
stroy her means of livelihood.