davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily morning journal and courier., 1905-10-17
WE'LL,

He-I was an intimate friend of your late brother. Can't you give me some thing to remember him by?
 She (shyly)-How would I do?-nlus- trated Bits.
 Sonny" said Uncle Eben, you is maxim heap O loud talk, an wants to call attention to. sumpin'. Every time a injine whistles 1t is usin' up steam dat might be doin' actual work, " Washington Star.
 Customer-What made the old guy so sore? .,
 Boy-He's nutty, guess. He wanted two dog biscuits, and only asked him if he'd take 'em here or have 'em wrapped up.-Cornell Widow.
 T suppose said the tinid suitor, when you recall what 8 handsome man your first husband was you wouldn't consider me for g. minute"
 "Oh, yes, would" replied@he pretty widow, but I wouldn't consider you for a second. d."-Philadelphia Ledger.
 Mrs. spenders-I wonder what will be the popular styles in bonnets this fall?
 Mr. Spenders-My dear. women's bon nets will be divided into two styles this fall, as usual; the style you don't like and the style I can't afford.-Philadel- pl1ia Ledger.
 The elephant gazed langufdly at the peanut-eating crowd that shuffied past him. 'FIn the slow process of evolu- tion," he unused, how many countless centuries it will be ere we can expect from the rudimentary projection on the face of the man creatures, the full, per feet and prehensfIe proboscis." And he sis',1 wearily as he thought of it. Washington Life.
 The Perfect Woman.-"Who ever saw a perfect man?" asked an Atchison re- vivalist. There is no such thing Every man has his faults, plenty O them.'
 Of course no one had ever seen a perfect man, and consequently thu statement of the revivalist was receiv ed with silence. The revivalist contin- ued: "Who ever saw a perfect wom- an?"
 At this juncture a tall, thin woman
The daily morning journal and courier., 1905-10-17

own. The labor of seven years, he avowed, had besn thrown away. and he was heart-broken. Instantly some of the newspapers. who had got hold of the story, bzgan to talk Of espion- age and to demand a rigid inyestiga- tiOn. 4 little later on 1t was remem- bered that II. Laubsuf was not the only man in the submarine boat busi- ness, ana the shouts of treason" sub sided. On reflection there was sesn to be no very satisfactory proof that the boats were so wonderfully alike in all particulars. Nevertheless French re- porters visited Admiral BarraudOn, director of the Germanic yard at Kiel, to ask him how he got the French plans, They were laughed at for their pains. At the outset he denied that the dimensions of the new German vessel were identical with those of the Aigrette- "Thsre cannot now be such things as constructional secrets" he added. France is perfectly eognizant of the details of the motor which drives the German submarine. it is known that petroleum is employed as being less dangerous than petrol. and it is known that perfect stability in the engine Is attained by means of a new device which replaces the con- sumed oil by water. Again, the appa- ratus which ensures the purity of the air in the vessel is patented. and it's details are thus public property" He closed by assuring the reporters that the Germans had the best motor in the world.
 AIS well that ends well.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1905-10-17
SOME RLGHTs.

Not long ago a just and wise judge
 decided that a woman had z right to go
 through her husbands pockets when he was asleep. Of course there was no real need of this decision. because every married woman knows she has that right if she chooses to exercise it. Now comes another judge, probably also wise and just, who decides that married man may keep a rat trap in the pocket where he keeps his money if he takes a notion to. Joseph Schultz, Of Buffalo, put rat trap in one of the pocke's of his trousers when he went to bed. He was arrested on his wife's complaint that her hand had been in- jured by a rat trap when she went to take money from Schultz's pocket while he was asleep. Justice Rockford ruled that Schultz could keep a rat trap in every one Of his pockets to protect his money if he wished to do so, and the prisoner,
 Of course this decision wont make much difference with the real situation. If the cute women think they are like ly to find a rat trap in the money pock- ct they will spring it before they put their hands in. Still, MT. Schultz can crow little if he wants to and dares
The daily morning journal and courier., 1905-10-17

dozen where the gentle art of barber ing is followed aoy young women.
 I'm not the pioneer lady barber of Chicago-no, indeed declared Mrs. Mullen. deftly going through a case of pomades and OintmenIs with a cheese cloth duster the while. The first wO- man to take up the business to my knowledge was a Mrs. Willard, who ran barber shop somewhere in Mich lgan more than twenty years ago and then came to this city, where she prac- uced till within a year or so.
 There are two colleges of barber ing in Chicago. I entered one of them to learn hairdressing and manicuring, but as all my teachers said there was lots more to be made in barbering. I took that up, too. and now I'm glad I did.
 There is no occupation where the average woman will make such good money and be so independent while she is earning it.
 T pay my girls SIS and s1s a week. Their tips bring their weekly earn ings up to $25; but they have to work -%T 1A@" " o p% AAtsg Sittu Hall UatSs day Sundays. It's hard work stand ing, too.''
 Three months are usually enough to learn the business according to this authority Hair cutting is the hard est part to master. Men who have been shaved once by a woman usually come back. saying that women make the best barbers. their hands are so light.
 Our very worst customer is the born crank. A cranky man-oh, my!" and the "lady barber" heaved a gentle sigh.
 Of course, if you gash a mans cheek while you are shaving him he isn't exactly a crank if he objects well, a little strenuously, you know. But if he's the kind that keeps looking at himself in the hand mirror and
The daily morning journal and courier., 1905-10-17
4 Parents Plea
AIS well that ends well.

My little boy is eight years old, He goes to school each day; He doesn't mind the tasks they set They seem to him but play. He heads his class at rafia work, And also takes the lead At making dfnky paper boats But I wish that he could read. They teach him physiology, And, oh, it chills our hearts To hear our prattIing innocent Mix up the inward parts. He also learns astronomy And names the stars by night Of course he's very up to date, But I wish that he could write They teach him things botanical, They teach him how to draw He babbles of mythology And gravitation's law; And the discoveries of science With him are quite fad, They tell me he's a clever boy, But wish that he could add.
 Life,
The daily morning journal and courier., 1905-10-17
4 PARISIAN SCARE.

Some folks are pretty sensitive, and there has been 8 brief scare in Paris over a story that the Germans had suc- ceeded in getting hold of the plans and producing a fac-simile of the Aigrette, the latest and best of all the
 French submarines. M. Lauoeuf. the engineer, who designed and built the Aigrette, proclaimed that he had seen a sketch of the German craft, and that it was practically identical with his
The daily morning journal and courier., 1905-10-17
HELP FOR IDLE ENG1IsHMEN.

How to help the unemployed in Eng land is a pressing problem nowadays. A fund has been started for the pur- pose of colonizing them. Mfr. Fels, an American, is Gathering the enterprise, and it is proposed to raise funds for the purpose, Mir. Fels contributing $45,- 900 as 8 beginning. He insists that the United States is no longer a Mecca for the poor and unskilled, and that the proportion of men out of work in the British colonies is about the same as in England. He figures that there are in Great Britain 2O,000,0OO acres of ab- solute waste; and if the men who are now sleeping in the London parks and living from hand to mouth by the do- ing of small unnanly jobs, as chance affords, will not go back to the farms and earn a livelihood, they might be persuaded if they were allowed to con- gregate, and so retain the advantages of society. If this redistribution could be made, if the country could be made inviting to those for whom the city can mean little except excitement, it would be for the health of all concerned. The city would be rid of a burdensome class, economies would be automatical- ly adjusted. the drain on the treasury for taxes, occasioned by charity and penal administration, would be les- sened, and the country would have what it lacks, workers. It has been proved that the English stock is run ming down under the hardships of city life, and were thousands of men and women to return to the farms the physical standards at least would be restored and an element of national weakness would become an element of strength.
 If this plan works in England, or if it doesn't, perhaps it will work well in this country.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1905-10-17
THE LADY BARBER KNOWS.

She Says That Men are Awful Vain and
 Explains Why They are Bald.
 "It's the mems own fault if their barbers talk them to death. If the men didn't gossip to the barbers the barbers would not chatter to their customers. I forbid my girls to do anything more than simply answer questions"
 Thus spoke Mrs. A1zora Mullen, 'lady barber of Chicago. The Windy City is kind to "lady barbers.' Mrs. Mul- lens shon ie only OTTO of at 1eart f'~ ''
The daily morning journal and courier., 1905-10-17
As GOOD AS THE BEST.

Although there is going to be some delay about it, it is pleasing to know that we shall soon be able to kill and wound with the best of them. It is now stated that it will be at least six months before the army begins to re- ceive the new magazine rifle from the national armories. Every effort is be- ing made to promote the production of the small arm, but recent changes which have been made in the design, such as the adoption of new sight and the change in the bayonet, have resulted in delaying the issue of the weapon. It is expected that there will be no more changes, as the War de- partment took prompt action upon the reports which were made on the small arm used by the armies in Manchuria. It was found, as result of the war between Russia and Japan, that the American small arm should be changed if it was to represent the latest design in that typo of gun. There has been some criticism of the features which have been changed, but, as the army ordnance officers remark, it is out of the question to adopt anything which meets with unanimous approval. The changes which have been made are the result of careful consideration by ex- perts representing the various arms of the service. including officers who will command the troops which will use the small arm in the field. It was to be expected that these officers would rep resent the most reliable opinion on the subject of the proposed changes, and the Wer department authorities are perfectly. satisfied that the new gun will be in all respects the equal of the best weapon furnished the fighting men anywhere in the world.
 Good. Perhaps they will let us alone, but if they don't they may wish they had.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1905-10-17

Said the old colored deacon: q ain't bothered bout whether dars life on de moon, or not. How ter keep life gwine on de earth is what gtts me!"-Atlanta Constitution.
 James-My lord, the carriage awaits without.
 My lord-Without what James?
 James-Without any 'orses, my lord. It is the motor carriage.-Ally sloper's Half Holiday.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1905-10-17

Two Baltimore detectives spent a week in search of ring which had been stolen from room in a hotel. The owner, a Philadelphian, valued the stolen property at $225. Step by step the detectives traced the property and their weeks work was rewarded by it's re- covery. The ring was found to be worth just twenty-five cents on an expert val uation.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1905-10-17

arose. Do you mean to say. madam go the evangelist asked, that you have seen a perfect Woman?"
 Well, I can't just say that have Seen her." the woman replied, but I have heard a powerful lot about her; my husbands first wife, Kansas City Journal.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1905-10-17

The decision of judge at Pittsburg that a proprietor of a theatre is en- gagged in a strictly private business and is under no obligation to serve the pub lie is interesting. The plaintiff in this case sued because he did not get seats for which he held tickets for a perform ance in the Philadelphia theatre, and made the allegation that theatre was like common carrier in it's relations and responsibilities to the public. The judges decision, however, was in favor of the defendant, he stating that, as the proprietor of the theatre had re- .ceived no peculiar privileges from the city or State authorities, he was not bound to give anything in return, and that the remedy of a person ip the pre- dicament in which this plaintiff found himself was civil suit for breach of contract:
The daily morning journal and courier., 1905-10-17

It has been suggested in England that every autonobihst be compelled to car- ry coop of live chickens in his car From this he could make good any Va- cancies caused in barnyard fiocks by stray chickens disputing his right of way.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1905-10-17

LuIlington church, near Eastbourne' England, is said to be the smallest church in England; perhaps there IS none smaller in the world. It seats eight persons.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1905-10-17

An Iowa woman says she visited hell in a vision, and found it full of politi- clans. And yet We have just read that women are great politicians.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1905-10-17

DELIVERED BY CARRIERS IN THE CzTY. Iz GENTS 4 WEEK. 80 GENTS 4 MONTH. ss FOR SIX MONTHS. ss k YEAR THE SAME TERMS BY 1EAIL. SINGLE COPIES. CENTa
The daily morning journal and courier., 1905-10-17
THE WEEKLY JOURNAL.
sssasa ThursSnxa. One Dollar . YeaE
 ADVERTISING RATES.

situations. Wants. Rents. and other small advertisements. One Cent Woso each insertion. Five Cents word TOT q full week.
 Display advertisements. per inch. one ipsertion. SI.20; each subseQuenL Mssrs ticp 4G cents; one week. sS.2O: one
The daily morning journal and courier., 1905-10-17

Mrs. Robert Louis Stevenson attrih- utes to a lady journalist the undofng of her husbands health and strength. On the return voyage to Samoa, after visit to Sydney, this lady waylaid him for an interview in a draughty part of the ship, holding him with monologue until he caught heavy cold that kept him confined to his cabin until they reached the tropics.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1905-10-17

You can buy fame now. You always could, but the modern way of selling it is interesting. An English publisher by the name of Arthur Cokney has opened a shop in Rue de Riche1ieu, Paris. where he proposes to furnish un- known authors with regulations. The kind varies with the price, for instance: Vague notoriety, one months duration at maximum, $400; annual reputation, $1 ,000; celebrity, s2,4o0; literary glory guaranteed for twelve years, $10,Oa0, Portraits at the salon, sandwich board enter into the scheme"
The daily morning journal and courier., 1905-10-17

The proposition to gown the judges of the Kansas Supreme court has pro- volxed mighty protest There may be cities down East,' writes J. K. Hudson, of Topeka, to the local paper, "Where the suggestion to gown the ildges would be received with con- servative recommendation, but not in Kansas. Oh, not in Kansas. In the bright light of electricity and the free library and the public schools a wig and a gown count for nothing as evil de1ce of great learning or impressive manhood"
The daily morning journal and courier., 1905-10-17

Students at the University of Nevada will be tried for hazing, as the father of a freshman has issued thirty-two war rants for assault and battery and had them served on students who maltreat- ed his young son. The freshman re- fused to join in the college yells, so they ducked him in the lake on the campus and subjected him to other in dignities, for which his father now de- mands satisfaction from the boys tor- mentors.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1905-10-17

TEE OLDEST DAILY PAPER PUB LIsHED Es CONNECTICUT.
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1905-06-01
ANOTHER BANK IN
OHIO HAS FAILED

BARBERToN. OHIo.-The First
National bank OF Barberton has been
closed upon the recommendation OF
the national bank examiner, Mr.. Al
bertson, who found between $4,000
and 10000 doubtful paper, consisting
mostly Of long time notes, which, II
is asserted, was carried contrary &c
the national banking laws. Much OF
this paper was against the Barber
ton pottery company, which went into
bankruptcy this week. A plan was
on foot to merge the bank with the
Barberton Savings Bank company.
and o. c. Barber, the match magnate.
had made an offer to take over he
banks affairs, but this. It is said, was
rejected. The former deal is still on.
however, and may go through yet, the
bank being absorbed by the Barber
tor Savings Bank company. The banl
had deposits and accounts amounting
to S22O,O coo.
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1905-06-01
new DATE FOR
A PERJURY CASE

JEFFERSON CfTY-Judge Davis
granted John A. lee a continuance OF
his perjury case 10 June Il and thS
case was set for trial ON tina date. This
witnesses were all instructed by the
Judge 10 be here or attachments would
be isued for them.
When the county circuit court met
Wednesday morning Attorney Joseph
Barton for Lee made an application
for a continuance on the ground that
!. N. George OF Russellville. a witness
for the defendent. was out Of the state
and could not get here. The appiica
ton vas made orally. Judge Davis
required the application TO be made
In writing. George was a member o.
the 1905 grand jury that heard Lce't
testimony concerning the connection
Of Senator Paris and Senator Smith
with the bribery deals and his testt
mony Is regarded as important 10 thu
defendent. The desired witness Is n
Hot Springs. Ark. with his brother
who Is il.
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1905-06-01
BIG SANTA FE
CONTRACT LET

CHICAGO.-The Lantry-Sharpe Con.
tracing company Of Kansas City have
been awarded the contract for con
structing the great Belen cutoff which
will save the Santa Fe railroad twelve
hours time between Kansas City and
the Pacific coast, do away with a 1000
foot elevation over the Glorietta and
Ration mountains in New Mexico.
thereb saying the cutting Of trains
in two. and change the route OF the
Santa Fe main line through the state
OF Kansas. causing the through trains
to SO by way OF Wichita, Wellington
and Texico instead Of by way Of
Hutchinson and Colorado. as at present
The estimate cost OF the work is
S33. 600 a mile. or $6.435. 900 for i05
miles, the distance OF the cutoff from
Texico on the state line between
Texas and Mexico to Willard. n. NJ,
az the crossing OF the Santa Fs Cen
trail, The work Of grading is TO begin
at once
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1905-06-01
BIC JAP VICTORY
RUSSIANS suFFEREp HEAVY Loaa
IN NAVAL RATTLE.
TWELVE VESSELS ARE LOST
Toxic Remains Silent No Statement
From the Mlkado's Government
Concerning the Outcome Of
the Battle.

TOXIC. (Mondsy)-It Is officially
announced that Admiral Rojestven-
sky's fleet has been practically an
initiated. Twelve war vessels have
been either sunk or captured and two
transports and two torpedo boat des
troyers have been sunk.
NACAsAKI.-The Japanese fleet
sunk the Russian b%attleship Borodino
and four more warships and a repair
ship.
ToKIo-The japanese fleet en-
gagged the baltic squadron Sunday at
ternoon in the straits Of Tsushima,
which was held. the cannonading be-
ing heard from shore.
A cablegram 10 the New York Press
from a special correspondent, under
date Of Sunday. May 2S. at 10 a m,
from Toxic. says:
History was made at the entrance
to the Sea Of Japan yesterday and is
being made to-day in the greatest
naval battel Of modern times. While
some Of the main results were known
in Toxic last night and the evening
papers were permitted 70 issue extras
containing the bulletins made public
by the impedial navy board. the Toxic
government. for reasons OF national
security, has prohibited the transmits
sion Of any news by cable that viii
indicate the results so far achieved,
and this censorship applies equally
to the ministers Of the foreign powers.
Il am permitted to say at four o.
clock In the morning the scout ships
Of Rear Admiral Kataoka reported by
wireless telegraph the approach OF the
Russian Baltic squadron from a point
north OF Uku island. at the ~southerly
entrance 10 the Straits Of Korea. At
sunrise the Russian battle ships were
off the promontory OF Harado. the
cruisers in the center and the three
coast defence ironclads ON the west
ern line. At 10 o'clock in the morn
ing they were west OF the island of
Xxi, which is the eastern channel
through the Korean straits into the
Sea of Japan.
Long before that period the jap
anese fleet had been called from its
several stations near Tsu islands,
which seperate the eastern form the
western channels at the north Of the
Japan sea. What happened thereafter
during the entire day and into the
night, and what the story is this
morning. it is not permissible to re-
late. Even those bulletins made pub
lie by the imperial navy board may
not be transmitted by cable"
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1905-06-01
VICTORY FOR MAYOR
WEAVER IN GAS DEAL

PHILADELPHIA-The United Gas
Improvement company has withdraw
It's offer to advance the city 25 million
dollars In consideration OF an eXten-
sion OF the lease OF the city gas works
This Is the outcome Of the conference
between Durham. Seger. McNicholf
and President Dolan OF the United
Gas company Saturday. President
Dolan sent a letter to President Ran
sley Of the select council and President
McCurdy OF the common council. IL
which be said that the United Gas I'm
proyement company would withdraw
its bid. Mr.. Dolan said:
The manner In which the whole
subject has been treated induces the
belief that the community is op
posed TO any extension Of the gas
lease on any terms. This being SC
this company is unwilling 10 accept
the ordinance which has been passed
or 10 enter into any contract what
ever with the city looking 10 ans
variation Of the terms OF the present
lease. The United Gas Improvement
company therefore begs respectfully
10 advise councils that, for the reason
stated above. should the peadine
ordnance become a Law II viii not b.
accepted by IT,.
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1905-06-01
new UNION DEPOT
FOR KANSAS CITY

CHICAGO-E P. Ripley. president
Of the Santa Re railway, said Wednes-
day afternoon that the railroads had
practically agreed Ia build the new
Kansas City Union depot at Twenty
second Street and Grand avenue The
agreement he said. was contingent
only in the matter Of getting an agree.
ment with the city in regard to cross
ings and the vacation OF streets.
Mr.. Ripley said that the only thing
that could nov prevent a Union depo,
Of all Of the lines f. the present depot
company on the Belt line. is failure to
make the necessary arrangements with
the city and a hold up for the reality
that will be needed for the depot build
ing and yards.