davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
WINNING AN AUTOGRAPH.

DR.. ". G. Grace, the most famous
cricke, in England, probably has
given l.s autograph as often as any
other celebrity. At match not long
ago he wrote his name in the note
book Of little girl. \ couple of
weeks later, much to his surprise,
the same little lady shyly sided up
to him Web the necessary docu-
ments and the request for his auto
graph. Bat | gave ii You only IA
few days ago." laughingly said the
veteran. Oh" came the answer,
Il chGngcd that one for two bish
ops" DIR. Grace laughed heartily
as he replied. well, my dear, if Il
cricketer is worth two bishops |
don't believe | ought to give you
another autograph, but your naiv-
cite is so delicious | suppose | must,
so there YOU are"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
A RIDICULOUS FIGURE.

Max Beerbohm, the English actor,
thinks ii is time to do away with the
ridiculous stock figure that has for
nany years done duty on the Eng
lish stage for American men-aI-
ways blatant, always cool, always
resourceful, always ready with
dreadful funniments in the manner
of Max Adeler. Thirty years ago,
before the development of steamship
navigation, it was natural enough
that the English playwrights should
be content with this figure. But
nowadays, when London through
out every summer is overlooking
with real Americans, it certainly
does seem strange that our play
wrights can give us nothing better
than this one old battered simulac-
rum"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
OUT OF SIBERIA.
The Story Of How Three Russian
ExiIss Were Rescued.

Dr. Carl Joubert, author oi Rus
sia as 1t Really l." tells this p.am
little story of how he rescued .Hrae
men-Dr. Alexander Bogdano,hci:
and two others-from exile M -
IBERIA. 1t vas necessary To hrIne the
sergeant of the ''rota, or prisoners
convoy. DIR. Joubcrt says: We at
down side by side at the cd - oi TIE
forest. Tell me, sergeant, | sasd'
If | were to place a h..y rih.e "a
ruble is 81. cents) mole on yoaT
eve could YOU see: No, doctor, !
should not be able to see with that
eve. but | could sec ont Of the 9th
en- oh, you could. Well, then, %
rulles on your other eve wou.d MAKE
YOU totally blind| Ncs, doctor, /
should he blind for life. There are
so many colors in a 100 rub.e note
that it is impossible to see through
it, | am told Now, let Us come 20
an understanding. | place fifty
ruble note on each Of your eyes and
YOU are then blind. Now, supposlns
that | should place another upon
vour mouth. Would YOU lose your
power of specch:' y man cannot
speak with his mouth full of paper,
gospodin. You are doctor who
knows well the medicine to prescribe
for every disease
every good said. Nov, when
YOU are blind and speeches. what
are YOU going to do" you may
leave that TO me, doctor. All want
TO know is which are the birds and
how many are to be turned into the
woods? You shall have as many
as YOU wish, but you must remem-
Der that we have only little more
than GOO of them, and therefore,
,gospodin, you will not ask for zoe
birds Good heavens, no. | only
want four or five at the outside,
exclaimed, astounded by the potency
of the medicine | had prescribed
Only fyer said the sergeant. 'Ther
YOU can take off so rubles.
But the doctor wouldn't take bach
any of his medicine and eventual.
added another fifty. SO the sergean
got 200 rubles and soon after lcf
the service and started pothors,
in Moscow on the proceeds. DR.
Joubert, after a rather hard time o
it, finally got his fugitives safeI.
across the whole Of Siberia and Rus
sia and beyond the German frontier
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18

Who is the Man with the Cigar?
His Name is Jones.
Is he a Good Man?
Yes, but he has one Bad Fault.
What is the Fault:
He Becfs about the Beauty of the
Town He Came From. He says it
is Little Town, bat the People are
Honest and do not try TO Skin You.
When they Take You by the Hand,
they Shake it Heartily, and you
Know they Mean it.
Is he Going Back there to Live?
Oh, no, He may Go Back on a
Short Visit, but You could not Keep
Him There with Calling Gun.
Why does he Talk One Way and
Act Another?
You may Search Is, Child.-De-
troit Tribune.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
The Helpless Heiress.

"Isn't my check good in this
bank"
ut isn't good, ma'am, until you
sign it."
"Oh, bother. Didn't you notice
! inclosed my calling card with t."
eyes, ma'am, but it is not the
same thing"
"Such nuisance. Then | sup
pose can't get my money!"
"Iou can get it by signing the
check"
GLOW can |? My secretary, who
does all my signing, is away on a
Acknowledgement Plain Dealer.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18

All sorts of devices are used to
smuegle alcohol into Paris on ac-
count of the high duties. Not long
ngo Frenchman was sending fur
niture into Paris. and tie cart had
passed the collectors without qucs-
ton, as furniture is not dutiabIc,
when a motor car sped swiftly across
the road, causing the driver of the
cart to pull up suddenly. One of
the wheels became caught in some
car rails, and large and heavy
table came crashing to the ground.
The crowd which collected was as
tonished to find a steady stream of
alcohol pouring from broken leg
of the table.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
Free Talk.

One of the most strange as well
as the most recent of scientific ideas
is that trees talk to one another in a
language that can be reduced to pa
per and translated. 1t is proved
that they vibrate in a manner not
due to the air or external pressure.
Such vibrations can be photograph
ed and thrown on a screen, and by
a study of these movements it is
hoped that the language of trees
will be understood.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
Ancient Civilization

Lecturing on Canaan One Hun
dred Years Before the Exodus" DR..
Sayce said recently that the civil
lied oriental world of the Mosaic
age was as highly civilized as that of
the present day. Correspondence
from the Egyptian foreign office of
400 B. c. was contained in the
cuneiform tablets discovered at Tel
el-Armana nearly twenty years ago.
Well organized postal services, high
roads, colleges and libraries existed,
and there was "ample evidence that
monarchs were anxious to protect
the trade of the country"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
An Unpallant LAWYER.

An English barristcr named Gill
in his speech in recent breach Of
promise case made some epigram-
rlatic remarks about women which
will not make him popular with the
sQX. However, he was counsel for
the man in the case He said: "All
women have capacity for describ
ing themselves as martyrs. They
regard any other woman that man
knows as Creature The first
thing a woman did when she was
engaged was to take the man around
in triumph and show him TO her
friends"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
A SINGULAR Product of Hawaii.

One Of the most singular products
of Hawaii is a vitreous lava known
as "Pele's hair 1t is a silky, fila
mcntous substance, olive green or
yellowish brown in color, soft, but
brittle. 1t has been thought to be
produced by the wind catching the
fiery spray thrown up from the great
crater of Kilauca (Which the Hawai-
ianS long since pcrsoniiied as the
fire goddess Pele), but the real cause
Of the lava forming into such soft,
silky fbers is believed to be the gas
and steam escaping through the
lava, Nearly all the native birds Of
Hawaii use it as nest building ma
terial.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
Self Restraint.

Three wise old men were sitting
in a coffee house talking about hui
mans and the world. Wise words
passed between the marble tables
like flies upon window pane. After
they had discussed nearly everything
that had happened since the creation
of this world one of them asked,
Masters of wisdom, which do you
consider the greatest achievement of
mankind?" ''Their greatest achieve
ment will only come when men have
learned to fly" one of the sages said.
81 don't believe that" said the Sec
ond. "The greatest achievement is
incidence" 81 believe you are both
Mistaken" said the third. "rhe
greatest achievement of which
know is that the barber who daily
holds thirty to forty heads in his
hands does not think one moment of
cutting somebody's head off, -
From the German.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
Most Successful Assumption.

Mrs. Amatcur-llow did | do?
You know | was cast to the part of
society lady.
Mrs. Sage-You did splendidly.
You acted just like a lady who had
been used TO the best society all hor
Iife-quite refined, You know. |
1on't see how you could do it..
You're a born actress. That's what
everybody said. You didn't appear
Inc bit like yourself.
OF course Miss Amateur is de-
yghted, but her face doesn't look it.
Boston Transcript.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
The Word "Cinaru

The word cigar" is believed to
come from the Spanish cigarra,
meaning grasshopper, and at first
the significance and propriety of the
term seem questionable. But in
Spanish garden was cigarral, OF
the place where the grasshopper
sang. Tobacco was usually grown
in a cigarral, and when the leaves
were rolled up and brought to a
guest the host, specially to recon-
mend the product, was careful to
state that it was grown in his own
cigarral. Thus the word which
means grasshopper came, in a modi-
fled form, to be applied to the hab-
ltat of the grasshopper and finally
to the cigar, whose material was
grown there.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
Landed.

He had been calling at intervals
for five years, and one night when
he and the young lady were seated
in secluded corner of the drawing
room the front door bell rang.
ooh, bother" cried the young
man; ''better tell the servant you
are out !"
"Shall | not tell her to say I'm en-
gaged?" asked the girl shyly. And
before another quarter of an hour
had passed she was.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18

When q Scotchman answers a
question he settles the matter in
dispute once for all.
On a certain occasion the ques-
ton was asked:
"Why was Mary, queen of Scots,
born at Linlithgow?"
Sandy Kerr promptly answered:
because her mither was staying
there" And there actually seemed
to be nothing more to be said on
the subject.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
A Famous Picture.

Vienna is angry because Count
Schoenbrun has sold Rembrandt's
Samson and Delilah" to the city of
Frankfort. Frankfort paid $S2 800
for it, The picture was bought for
$50 by one of the counts predeces-
sors, who saw it being used in the
market place as the canvas awning
for a petty stall holders wares.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
FREE TO BUTCHERS

W. arr q" r-1-iI' OF a--......
from &. :. iag-, IIya- r...y.
a"'h"ri1-, u' e" -ay ta u.--
r''adrr, Who an. ra.-s--t..,..
any business, 'iat ifla-, ALL
a postal eard with ttrir r.....,
oil'oe address thereon ai.i ..,,... ''
saw this notice iu th- Ilrr,,,[
cutter their maine, "u l.t, H....
er' aud s'"d them fa. r..,...l
time to time o., i,,a-.j. .a, Il....
tins which give 90. ur, audi
the market on b.rf hides. ,.., ID
horse hides, trlioa. bla-. .......
etc. Mr. Page ha, la.-a i. d.
aud SKI" trade for "on. ,lm a..,, ~.
aud Is responsible aud f-.aa,-
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
Habits of the Pyamies.

In one of the London amusement
houses are troop Of pygmies who
have a curious custom of shaving
their eyelashes. After making their
usual protest against being COM
PEELED to battle in warm water the
pygmies, instead of shaving the
stubble of beard from their faces as
white men do, cut off their eyelashes
with the razorlike edges of their
tiny arrows.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
Better Than a Pedigree,

Mrs. Van der liamm-Percy, you
mustn't play with that common Ma
loney boy any more.
Percy--Why not, mamma?
because he's nobody. Why, he
hasn't even grandfather"
"Maybe not, but he's got goat"
Cleveland Leader.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18

A Photographic police trap for the
apprehension of scorching automo-
biIists has been invented in England.
BY the pressing of a button a pho
tograph is made of any passing car
with the time and date. A pair of
these instruments, with synchro-
nized timing arrangements used at
each end Of measured piece of
ground, would, it is believed, give
absolutely accurate data as to the
speed of automobiles.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
a Boy Bee Eater.

A boy bee eater is described by
the Rev. Gilbert White as having
lived in the neighborhood of Sci.
borne. He was weakminded and is
said to have passed the winter doz-
ing by the fire in half torpid state,
but when the bees and wasps reap
peared he also woke to active life
and hunted them constantly for
food. He had no fear of their
Gtlngs, which, however, he extracted
before sucking their bodies, as was
his custom. He made himself a
nuisance to the beekeepers about
by robbing the hives of their in
mates, even sometimes overturning
the skeps for the sake Of getting at
the bees. Mr.. White pictures this
human bee eater as 'lean, sallow and
of cadaverous complexion" and says
that he died before attaining man
hood. His morbid appetite was
therefore undoubtedly the outcome
of disease.-London Globe.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18

Profcssor-Gcntlemen, | am now
about TO remove both hemisphcres
of the cerebrum of this frog, when
YOU will see that it is no longer
capable of hopping, (The operation
is performed. The frog hops from
the table to the floor, General hi
larity among the audience) Gentle
men, now you see what a small
amount of brains it requires to set
an entire audience in roar.-Flie-
gende Batter.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18

"NIiss Florry,' said the traveller,
leaning over the counter in the vii
lage shop, where his samples were
spread out for display, and speaking
to the fair girl behind it in low,
eager, passionate tones, now that
Old Hunks has gone to the front to
wait on customer, | may tell you
how | have looked forward for the
last thirty days to the time when |
should have the happiness of seeing
YOU again and hearing from your
own dear lips that you have not for
gotten me, may | not? While |
have been on my dreary rounds from
town to town or passing the leaden
hours in waiting for trains at little
railway stations, the thought of your
lovely face has thrilled me to the
hearts core. You have been to me
the beacon light of hope, the inspi-
ration of every Striped goods like
these, Miss Baxter, are worth p
shillings a dozen. | can't make
them a penny less" he said, in a
hard, businesslike tone.
Old Hunks had returned to the
back part of the shop.-London
Fun.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
Proyidert,

GLOW much is your fancc
WORTH" asked the matter of fact
father of lis romantic daughter.
"Oh," replied the latter enthusi-
astically, "my Fred is worth millions
on millions"
"Of course. But | mean how
much is he worth in cold cash ?"
"Well, he has $40 in the savings
bank"
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1905-03-04
TOILET TIPS.

Prepared chalk and powdered orris
root In equal parts make good denti.
frice.
However pure a soap may be. 1t is not
fitted for remaining on the skin; hence
the wisdom Of rinsing.
A red, oily nose should be bathed
with borax water and afterward
anolnted with camphor water.
Where the eyebrows are lighter than
the hair little melted cocoa butter or
almond oil VIII darken them and pro
mote the growth,
Rosewater, four ounces, and third
of an ounce OF tinttGre benzoln has the
quality Of bringing the blood 10 the
surface Of the skin and giving it a
delicate pink color.
Almond ncal. cornncal and oatmeal
win agree with souIc skins better than
any soap aEd Is both cleansing and
sortening. II tie skin chaps or rough.
ems wien sap is used try one of the
above inetis.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1905-03-04
NEW FORM
FOR LICENSE
APPLICANTS FOR SALOON LICENSES
MUST FILL OUT BLANKS WITH
VARIOUS REQUIREMENTS
THEREIN.


Under the new license laws passed by
the recent legislature. the applicant for
saloon license i required to fill out a
prescribed blank, containing the name
Of the applicant, MS place OF residence
the number of years he has lived in the
place, the particular place for watch tae
license is desired. the name OF the owner
Of tae premises. the place Of tns birth OF
the applicant, a statement that the APP
plicapt is a uaturalized citizen and date
Of such naturalization, that tne appli.
cant does not int md to apply for license
to do business at any other place in tae
county, that the license of tne applicant
has never been revoked. taat the surety
offered must be a trust or surety com
pany authorized to do business in this
state, or that two personal sureties shall
be free-holders with assessed valuation
Of real etate amounting TO $4,000, car
tiicate signed by twelve reputable quail
business, and a deposit Of $40 with tds
clerk to pay for advertising the appli-
fed voters in mis- district. giving tneir
cation in a newspaper.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1905-03-04

II is difficult to cure a cough or free
yourself from the discomforts of colo
miles You move the bowels. Bees Lax
ntive Honey and Tar acts on tae bow
els and drives all cold out of the sys-
tenn. Then comes its soothing effect
and strengthening influence upon toe
throat and lungs. For Group, Whoop-
ing C ugn. Colds, and all Lung and
Bronchial affections. no remedy is epua
to the original Laxative Honey and Tar
Sold by Stone & Mercer.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1905-03-04
THE STANDING SUPPER.
As jolly as a Picnic and Much More
Comic rfnhIe


The standing supper is the proper So
cial function nowadays for families
whose hospitality surpasses their con
veniences for formal entertainment or
for those who cry out for u relief from
set conventionality.
The big table is moved out of the
dining room or is made smaller and
pushed up at one end against the wall.
On IL are arranged plates and cups and
saucers and spoons and glasses and a
hundred and one things. Every room
In the house has been levied upon for
chairs until the room is almost filled
with them and with stools and floor
cushions.
Everybody comes in and drops down
anywhere, three or four favored souls
helping the hostess and the maids to
dispense napkins and plates -''the four
dations of the feast" us somebody cali.
ed them.
Then in come maids with salads and
toasted mullins and coffee and delicate.
ly prepared potatoes. delicious cold
meats and meat loaf, jellies and rel
ishes" and some unusual new dish.
which are all passed around. every
body helping himself-and helping him.
self with very free hand too!
Everything seems like a picnic and
SO has the charm of being absolutely
lacking in formality, yet. unlike pic
mics, everything is perfectly conforta.
ble.-New York World.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1905-03-04
LAMP SHADES.
How some Very Pretty Ones May BE
Made at Home.

How Some Very Pretty Ones May BE
Made at Home.
Grass cloth shades are very pretty
and are easily made at home. They
are plated every inch and put on to
wire frame. A design, stenclled or
painted on them, is an improvement
II you have the artistic ability to dec
crate them. They are pretty made OF
cream color, which allows the light to
come through. An attractive shade IL
made of japanese bronze colored silk,
with small design running all over IT,
When lit up 1t looks like old Damascus
brass. A little yellow shade on n small
lamp might have a piece of lace just
the width of the shade fulled slightly
at the top, having no fullness at the
bottom.
You need not throw away your old
shades. After ripping the paper OF
you paste japanese figured silk in place
of the paper and they look very differ
ent. A very pretty one can be made of
the raw silk. If heavy green is Sc
lected this would only do for a reading
lamp. 1t should be lined with an ex-
ira shade OF soft paper, which comes
for this purpose. This would serve 10
throw the light on 10 the table. This
paper should he treated with II solution
OF silicon Of soda to prevent its catch
ing fire. The cretonnes and glazed
ehintzes are also very effective.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1905-03-04
Baked Mushrooms.

An English recipe for baked mush-
rooms is offered: \ half pound of large
mushrooms will be needed. with half
teaspoonful of minced parsley, an
ounce Of breadcrumbs. three table
spoonfuls OF salad oil, salt, pepper and
a little lemon juice. Put half the oil
in the baking dish and sprinkle with
half the breadcrumbs, half the parsley
and a squeeze OF lemon. Lay half the
mushrooms on this and put on the rest
of the oil, breadcrumbs. seasoning and
parsley. Bake half an hour. and just
before serving dust with cayenne pep.
per.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1905-03-04
KILLS GERMS OF cArARRH.
Hyoma Goes To the Roo. of the Dis
ease and Makes Astonishing Cures.

Catarrh cannot be cured by the use
Of pills, liquid medicines and so-called
system TONES. Under such treatment
the germs of the disease will still live
in the air passage and increase ami
multiply
Hyomei Is the only scientific and
iaorougn way to cure catarra. Killing
the germs in the air passages. 1t enter.
the blood with tae oxygen, destroys the
microbes in the blood and effectually
drive from the system all traces or
cata ~, poison.
Ta~,pds of testimonials nave been
given " to the astonishing cures mada
by tn bmedy.
AIRS. lie Reulu. 20 Western Ave. Cleye-
land OHIO. writes: 81 believe Tyomei
saved my life. / am better now than !
have been in thirty years. Many doc
tors, both in England and France, treat
ed me for catarrn, but was not euned
until used Hyomei."
Probably the strongest evidence That
can be offered as to the powers of Hy-
omei to cure catarrh Is the fact That
sturm & Wilson will agree to refund
the money If you say Hyomei has not
cured you.
The complete Hyomei outfit costs but
$l.oo, consisting of an inhaler, dropper
and sufficient Hyomei to last several
weeks. This will effect cure in ordi-
nary cases, but for chronic and deep
seated cases of catarrh, longer use may
be necessary, and then extra bottles Of
Hyomei can be obtained for so cents.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1905-03-04
The Colonies waterloo

Col. joan NJ. Fuller. of Honey Grove
Texas, nearly met mis- Waterloo from
Liver and Kidney trouble. In a recent
letter ne says: q was nearly dead o
these complaints, apd although ! triet
my family doctor, he did ME no good
50 got SOC bottle of your great
Electric Bittars, which cured me- con
slider them the best medicine on earth
and thank Col who gave you the knowl
edge to make thsm." Sold and guaran
teed to cure Dyspepsia, Billiousnesi
and Kidney Disease. Only 25c al
Stone & MERGERS and Frank C. Bland.
drug stores.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1905-03-04
A Destructive Fire.

10 draw the fire out of burn or Ii
neal cut without leaving a scar, use
DeWitt's Wilton Hazel Salve. A specific
Tor piles. Get the genuine j. l.
Fucker, editor of the Harmonizer, Gem
tire, Ala, writes: a nave used De-
Wits Witch Hazel Salve in my family
ior piles, cuts and burns. 1T is the best
salve on the market. Every family
should keep it on hand" Sold by Stone
& Mercer.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1905-03-04
SOME OIL NOTES.

In the Wallace district, in this eoun-
ty, the South Penn Oil Company has
drilled its test on the Richard Robinson
farm 20 feet into tae stray sand and
smut down to move back the boiler.
In the Salem district. in the same com
ty. I, Gartlan & Co. have completed a
second test well on the Isaac. Wilcox
farm and unless shot helps will have
buster in the Gordon sand.