The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16
Lem L. n Browns B Dilemma

III.
Wensday morning Lem Brown, our
talented carpenter, painter and gen
eral jobber, stared cruel and relentless
Geth In the face, while brave men
ard weeping wimmen, and delighted
children looked on horrifide and help
less. 1t was awful experients Nand
will go down in the annals of our town
as one of the worst that ever hap
pened. >...,. &c.,. ! u - < -
Some time ago the Ladies' Aid of
our church desidsd that the church
steeple needed new coat of paint.
The ladies held a meeting and past a
vote to purchase paint sufficient to
paint the steeple., Being as they was
no money in the treasury of the aid
the ladies went out with subscripshion
papers soliciting money. The men,
bers of the church didn't seem to be
any too keen for giving up good money
to buy paint, but after two weeks beg
gin it was desided that they had
enough to buy the paint, perviding
someone could be. secured to put
same onto the steeple. Lem Brown
was approached and askt how much he
would charge. to paint the steeple.
Lem said he thought it ought to be
worth about rs cts to him, but as
the ladies didn't want to spend any
OF their paint money they told Lem,
being as he was member in good
standing of the church. it was his
Christian duty to paint the steeple
Tor nothing. It took Lem a good
while to see this the way they saw
It., but after they had pestered him
Tor several days he said: "Oh, we'll,
dod-durn it, if you think it's my christ.
chan duty to do it for nothing l reck-
on I'll haft to do it, but that's the last
job I'll do at them f1ggers."
The paint was bought at the Co.
seat. 1t was white paint, and they
was two gals of same. They was also
/ qt. of green paint for trimming. Lem
started in on the job bright and airly
last Tuesday morning. He borrowed
Cy Hoskins' apple ladder ard elm up
to the ridge pole of the church beside
the steeple, and then hauled up the
ladder and set it straddle of the ridge
pole on the roof and leaned the upper
end against the. top of the stc~ple.
Lem then took pail of white paint in
one hand and brush in the other
and started up the ladder. They was
considerable Of crowd standing
around on the ground in front of
the church to watch Lem do the lob,
wich was a tickelish one as YOU
might say. When Lem started up the
ladder Gideon Smalley hollered at
him, saying: ! =
? Lem, you had ort to bu:ld stagin'
around that steeple to paint from,
Suppose that ladder would fall down
with you up to the top eni CT it
then, where would you be, hey?''
'1've painted and carrentered man
and boy for more'n 80 years." says
Lem, pausing in his tracks about haff-
way up the ladder and lookin' down at
Gid. II calkilate I know thing or
two about the bizness.. I'm a purity
good hand to terd to my own business,
and hope other folks will Go the
same.''
Lem then perceeded on up the ladder.
and Gid he got mad and started off
home and said if Lem Brown fell and
broke his neck, leaving his wife moth
ing but widder, Lem couldn't blame
him, ana he hoped he would fall.
The crowd on the ground increased
until almost the entire populashion of
Bingville was present watching the
brave painter with horrifide eyes and
baited breaths. Before Lem started
in to paint he filled up his pipe and
lit it jest as keerless as if he had
Of been sitting before his fire on a
coolish like night.
He was jest as unconcerned as you
please and hummed tune jest to
show them below that he felt per-
feckly at home and him dUrn near
40 #. above the ground.
Lem had jest hung his paint pail
over the top of the steeple and begin
to sling paint like exr2rt when the
ladder suddenly slippea on the root
and fell with crash end over end
clean to the ground.
They was a deep groan went up
from them below.
Wimmen turned away their eyes and
begin to scream. The men helt their
breaths.
All expedited to see Lem drop from
that dizzy height to the ground below
with dull sickening thud a lifeless
corpse. Then they would throw sheet
over him and gether him up tenderly
and carry his dead, lifeless and
smashed remains home to his expect
ant wife.
But Lem did not fall as anticipated.
When he. felt the ladder slippin from
under him he throwd the paint brush
into the air and hugged the steeple
with both arms, also rapping his legs
around same. The paint brush which
he let go of SO suddint fell swiftly,
striking Deacon Butterworth smack in
the eye who was standing with his
mouth open looking up at Lem when
the catastrofee happened. Lem also
upset the paint in the struggle, some
OF it falling on Mrs Rufo Croor mho