Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1905-03-18
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tell During the excitement | forgot
all the details.-Lfe.
Husband--You are always looking
for bargains. Was there ever time
when you wasn't a bargain huntedi
Wife-.fes. dear; when married you.
Scissors.
/ Mrs. ChatterSon--It was such a
relief TO have my husband fail Mrs.
| Chipway-How SO? "Oh. | was 80
afraid we would have to pay all those
/ bills."-Life.
Parent (angrily)-Those "schoo,
shoes" | bought here for my boy did
not last two weeks. Dealer with sur
| prise)-He must have been wearing
them out of Observation-Disclosures Life
Teacher lin spelling class)-Johnny,
spell fail" JOHNNY can't Teach.
er-You can't spell that simple word?
Why not? Johnny-'Cause you told
me there was no such word as fail
/ New Yorker.
PAnsy (whO enjoys having her moth
er read to her)-Wead some more,
mamma. Mamma cannot, dear: my
eyes are too tired. Pansy with fine
scorn)-But wead wiz 90 mouf, ma
New York Times.
rs your husband up YETI" inquired
the early morning caller Il guess he
is" replied the stern-looking woman.
I'D like to say a few words to him"
80 would l. He hasn't come home
yet."-Catholi Standard.
Ernestine-I don't see why your
chaperon should have been offended
because Jack played the piano. 1t was
certainly better than lovemaking.
Moyrtilla-Yes, but he insisted upon
playing Always In the Way. Chi
cago News.
Toni don't see you automobilng
with Miss Giddyun any more. Jack
No; l weighed her In the balance and
found her wanting. Tom-Wanting
what? BLACKWELL, wanting to face
the parson with me, for one thing
Chicago News.
Little Johnnie-When Miss Nextdoor
|
slipper after her. What was that for?
Little Ethel-Oh, they always do that
That means that her mamma isn't
never going to spank her any more
Smiths Weekly.
This servant-girl problem will make
me old before my time" "Bothers you
too, does it?" Indeed it does. If
l have an ugly maid my husband is
away all the time, and if | have a
pretty one he is at home all the time
and | darent go away; so there it is"
Houston Post.
Mrs. Woodby-You don't mean to
say you paid my milliner's bill to-day.
Mr. Woodby-Of course. The bill
reached me yesterday, and | thought
the milliner might need the money,
do you expect us to be considered real
swell If we pay our bills promptly
Philadelphia Ledger.
Maude-Did you read that magazine
article in which a physician advocates
yawning as a means of stopping the
disagreeable buzzing in ones ears?
Clara-Yes; and he is right, too. |
tried it on young Borum the other
evening after he had talked continu-
ously for an hour or more. and he
took the hint and left.-Chicago Daily
News.
The following notice was recently
found tackled on the door of church:
There will be preaching in this house
week from next Wednesday, Provi-
dence permittin', and there will be
preaching whether or no on Monday
following upon the subject, He that
believeth and is baptized shall be
saved and he that believeth not shall
be damned at $50 in the afternoon
Clinton MOI Herald.
A travelling man who drove across
the country to little town in western
Kansas the other day met a farmer
hauling wagon-load Of water.
Where do you get water?' he asked.
up the road about seven miles, the
farmer replied. And you haul water
seven miles for your family and
stockY Yep" why in the name
of sense don't you dig wel?' asked
the traveller. Because it is just as
far one way as the other, stranger"
Denver Republican.
Mrs. Potts was filed with nervous
alarms whenever she Travelled, and Mr..
Potts always had his hands full in
trying to quiet and reassure her. al
gernon," said Mrs. Potts. Weakening
her husband from a sound sleep in
southern railway car. "AlgernOn!
want you to find out why we are going
at this fearful speed. The car is bump
ing and swaylng till l can scarcely
see out of my eyes" Mr.. Potts sat up
and looked out of the window at the
| o,oonUt IandScaDe "Spp that bridoa