The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-08

god wrnCut peing s0fe 70 cace 1t N.
Can you find In the encyclopedia that
cats must have catnip, or perishH L
there anything bearing on the subject
In the history of American bid Colun-
bus discover cats eating catnip when
be landed ON these shores? Did the
pilgrim fathers bring their cats and
catnip along TO Plymouth rockg Wo-
man. answer me. or admit that you
were trying TO helittle your own hus-
band in bis own housef"
"All can say is that cats love cat,
nip she replied.
You make that as plain statement
vi fact do your
~ do"
'sThen / will prove that you don't
know what you are talking about and
need guardian"
Mr.. Bowser clapped on his hat and
took a walk. He knew his family
butcher 10 be an exfarmer. and he
called AZ his shop and looked around,
and then In casual way inquired:
Jones, did you use TO raise catnip
on your farmr'
The old woman raised few
bunches--just enough for her eats"
was the reply.
How for her cats?"
"why. cats eat Il like fun, particu-
larly about this time o. year. II you
have a cat over home and she Is all.
hg just let her get at a bunch Of eat.
nip."
And you stand there and tell me
that eatnip is so called because cats
nip at IT."
II never heard any other reason"
''Then you don't know enough to
come in when II rains! Cats and cat
nip have no more 10 do with each
other than bulls and bulrushes. No
wonder you can't tell bones from
beefr
II can tell a jackass when ! see
one" exclaimed the butcher. and, after
glarlng at him for minute, Mr.. Bow
ser snorted In contempt and walked out,
A farmer who had been selling pota-
toes 10 the grocer on the corner was
just about starting for home, and Mr.
Bowser walked up and asked him:
Say, friend, do you grow any cat
nip on your farm?"
Not as CROP" smiled the man.
'"Then how do you grow lt?"
"A few punches in the garden for
the cats"
But what has IT got to do with
catsY
Everything. You could have found
that out by asking your wife"
Mr. Bowser felt like calling him
names and getting up row, but the
agriculturist was in q hurry and was
soon driving away. An old man who
was leaning against barrel had over
heard the conversation and he now
butted in with:
you must have lived In a catless
country not to have heard about cat
nip"
did ask for your opinion, siri"
"No, but when l find a man who
don't know catnip feel it my duty 10
post him. ] wouldn't wander very far
from home il were you. You might
get lost"
you old villain! But for your gray
hairs I'd-Id"- And Mr.. Bowser put
bis fist under the others nose and
held It there for few seconds and
then passed on. His family druggist
was proper man to appeal TO, but it
was ten minutes before the searcher
after information entered the store. 1t
was another ten before he asked:
doc, do cats eat catnip2"
do cows eat grassT' answered the
druggist
But is II really true that they doT
''They love It. Catnip is for cats;
cats are for catnip. They are one and
You can bet your last dol
lar on that"
But / never heard Of such thing"
Probably not. / believe there are
several things you never heard Of.
you can settle this thing very
quickly. Here's bunch Of the stuff
/ bought for my cat today. She's
wandered of somewhere, and you may
take 1t along"
Mr.. Bowser took the bunch and
walked OF. he hadn't got ten feet
from the door when a stray cat me-
owed at his heels. Before reaching
the other end Of the block he was being
followed by two more. Another block
and the number was six. When within
a hundred feet Of his gate, II seemed
as If there were twenty waning, me-
owing felines around. him, all making
threats against his life If be did not
give up that bunch, and he suddenly
became panic stricken and fed.
"WellT Queried Mrs. BOwser as she
opened the front door and found him
on the steps and breathing heavily.
But he gazed steadily at the rising
moon and made no answer. He had
been defeated, but he meant to save