Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1905-10-21

going through his money. New York
Press.
Willic-Engaged to Jack? Then you
won't marry Harry, after ali? Eunice
--Iot after all, But maybe after
Iack.-Smart Set
Mother What. at the Jam again?
Aren't you old enough to know bet
ter? Tommy-No'm, there amt any
better in town.--New York Sun.
Brown-Did / ever tell you the
story about the dirty window, Green?
Green-No. Tell it to me. Brown
Its no use-you couldn't see through
il.
Slimson-Wllie. they tell me you
have the reputation of being the worst
boy in school Wlllie-Yes. father. and
can tell you didn't get 1t without
n Struggle.-Life
Always Flashing 1t: Tess-Isn't
May the lucky girl? Jess--Yes; she's
got an engagement ring. Tess-Yes.
ana what's more, she's left-handed.--
, Philadelphia Press
Iucle-So you go TO school now?
Tommy-Yes, sir Uncle--And what
part Of the exercises do YOU like best?
Tommy the exercise we get at
recess. Philadelphia Press.
Stern Mother-Willie. While Get
back-Yesm. There's whole lot of
the contents of this jar missing. What
did you take it forf" II took it for
/ jam. mamma; what was it,"
Farmer Gechaw 81 Puukard has
jest lost his wife. Farmer Giddap--
Waai, we all halter 70, Farmer Gee
haw-Yes; an if she had ter go it's
Jest rs well she went now Saved 81
the expense o winterin' her, We See
| rittsburg Post.
Odicc Boy-Miss Reyes, please let
me- look at yoHr face; Miss keycs-
What rorr ONCE Boy Why, the boss
said some Of the paint was scratched
off his typewriter | didn't know
whether he meant you or the machine.
Chicago News
They say" said Mrs Oldcastlc,
chat She married him under mig
apprehension" "Oh. no, she didn't
replied her hostess. II seen the
whole thing myself. 1t was under
bell made out of some kind Of flow
crs. ~ Chicago Record Herald.
4 speeding Automobile met smooth
" gliding cutter on the road. AIR
1t said To the cutter. where are you
going" "Sleighing, of course" re
piled the cutter And your" SHAY
ing" shouted back the automobile,
with a horseless laugh. ~-Llppincott's
Magazine.
Mrs Brickrow How do you manage
TO persuade your husband to buy you
such expensive bonnets? Mrs. Top
hatte--I take him shopping with me,
walk him around until he can't stand.
and then wind up in bonnet store.
He'll buy anything to get home,--Ncw
York Weekly.
"Now, Johnny" said the Sunday
school teacher, "can you tell me what
a hypOcrite IL 7" Yes, ma'am," an
swered Johnny. "A hypocrite Is boy
that pretends to enjoy hearing the
minister get Off II long blessing at the
dining table when he's nearly starved"
Chicago News.
Little Ethel was learning to sew.
and one day, after vainly trying to
thread "A needle. she asked: Mamma.
don't they call the hole In the needle
an eyef" Yes, dear" replied her
mother. Well" continued the little
miss, IN bet this old needle is cross
eyed. "-Cincinnat Enquirer
He-Miss de Jones Clara never
loved anyont but you. VIII you be
my Wife, She-But Eve been told that
you proposed to four other girls with
In month Hc-Truc, darling, but
| did It merely for practice, so that 1
wouldn't blunder proposing to you
Chicago journal.
Mrs. Nagget' said the doctor.
your husband needs rest He must
go to Europe for three months oh.
spirndidr she exclaimed; IN be de
lighted to 90 there" very good. You
can 20 for three months after he comes
back. That viii give him six months
rest - Philadelphia Ledger.
Pausing uncertainty before a desk in
The big insurance office, the HibcInian
visitor said to the clerk: "Oi want
to TEX out a pawlIcy." Life, fire or
marineE" drawled the dapper clerk,
with infinite sarcasm. "All three Ohm
thinkin." rctorted the applicant; "OIm
goin' fer q stoker ID tn navy Puck
Mrs Highruus - was shocked 10
hear that your husband had been op
GRATED upon for appendicitis X he
out Of danger Mrs GasweIl oh yes,
he's recovering from the operation aII
right. bat he's dreadfujy disappo.nt
ed. The doctors found there wasn't
Iauythin@ the matter with hug.--f hca-