The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-04-18

doom is trying to get even wild me
! because she was left out. That's one
lie nailed, and now for the others"
Thin it's Mrs. Quill. I believe,
who's saying that yees got tight on
the street a year ar two ago and was
/ station, and that if yer man Pat
hadn't had a pull wild the jedge ye'd
had put in thirty days at the Island.
I'm not speaking agfn yees, Mrs. Nc
Glory, but only telling what's passing
And tbs Mrs. Quill who says it. is
1.-THE same
Thin I'll be meeting her at the head
of the stairs and throwing her down
the whole five flights. The beasti The
liar! EFT moi. savez-vousi''
And does that mean yen also
scratch her eyes out?''
The meaning of which, Mrs Fin
negan, is that no real lady has any
i business to be living in company wild
a lot of mudsills, and if she does she
must expect to be slandered. And so
MRS Quill says was drunk on a
street caro-
AS 1 told yees."
And I was thrown off and arrested
and locked uD?"
She says it is true
oacristie, but how can people tell
such lies! Listen to me- me friend.
I
Ihats thing lady can have as well
as q parvenew. Pat says I shall 90 to
the dentist, and after breakfast I starts
out. The dentist SAYS the tooth must
come out, but not for three days. He
gives me a bit Of opium to hold in me
mouth on me way home, and soon after
gets aboard a street car the opium
begins to make me head swim I also
had feeling OF jollity, and when a
woman takes UP two seats and refuses
TO hitch along I takes the bonnet or
her head and stamps on it. Yes, Mrs.
Finnigan. 1 does that but does it like
lady. The fresh conductor sees a
chance to show off, and so he bundles
me of. There was a cop standing there
and as he was mad at my man PAT he
arrests me. goes to the station in
the. carriage and the captain has the
sense to see that it's a case of vertigo,
and he gives me front room by me-
self and tells me to sleep it off. Next
morning his honor asks to see u1e-nOt
to inquire about the drunk, but to say
that vertigo was bad thing and to
warn ne agin' having it too often. Pat
was there, and when it was all over I
takes his arm and sails out, and it was
remarked by everybody that there was
niver a more stylish looking lady in
that court. There's the case me dear,
and now let the liars and gossipers go
ahead and make all they can of it "
But about the vertigo, Mrs. McGIOry.
/ don remember to ever have heard of
it before; Am likely TO ever catch
1t2
"Niver in your life It's Iady's com
plant, and you couldn't catch it if you
tried to. Whinever yees hears of a yo-
man having vertigo set her down as
real lady and don't believe any lies
about her.
And it has the same effect as two
drinks Of whisky, does it2'
Just the same, but the lady don t
look around for a club or a brickbat.
If she pulls another woman's hat off she
does it gracefully. If that car conduc-
tor had been posted on vertigo he'd
have halted his vehicle and sent re
home in a cab
-" lis a sad world Mrs McGlory wflfn
a lady can't stir out doors without be-
ing liable to the vertigo and arrest
"Indade, but it is. Une diable de
recontre!"
and that means
THAT I'm a goat. if I don't punch
somebody's head before the week is cut.
So I'm no lady, Ell? Mrs. FinnegaD.
watch me throw me foot over the back
Of that chair. Watch me kick that
lounge across the room. Watch ,ne
split the panel of that door wild me fist
Watch me walk up and down the room
wild me shoulders bumped up and me
chin sticking out and then tell me that
Pm no lady. Mon ami, pour le moment
which means take this nickel and the
GROWER and 90 for beer, and see that
you get the worth of your Money
Copyright, 1905. by T. c. A1cC1ure.)