Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1905-11-11
HIS INCOME TAX

I
induce him to pay his income tax. The
collector, a soft spoken. easy going per-
son, accustomed to giving the soft an
swer which turned away the universal
wrath, knew my grandfather and his
ways.
Income tax, indeed!' my grandfather
would say, with splendid sminkling
Of forcible words. I'VE no income ex
cept what belongs to my creditors. 4
nice government. indeed. that takes
away a mans income and then asks him
20 pay a tax on it. If you want to know
where my income is. its in the pockets
| of my tenants. Make them pay my in,
come tax. Sure. its true for you.' the
! collector, whose maze was Whcian and
ought TO have been Whecdlin', would
say. turning the whites Of his eyes to
The skies. Sure its cruel hardship on
| Yen. II wasn't government official
myself, tbs SAYING Pad luck to them
| land acts!' I'd be. You're Il decent fell
CIV, Nheian, my grandfather would
| remark invariably, i wonder why You
ever took to 50 dirty trade.
| Then the whisky pottie would I've pro
duced and passed around and my grand
father, taking Il SIP, would say. We'll,
heres heaith ara nau luck 10 the income
tax" and Mr.. Nhelan would swallow
the toast with the WHISKY Up to the
last day my grandiathef always refused
to pay. The last day We always had
MI " helan as our guest. lie used to
SIT alone Ia a emily, uhoccupled draw
ing room, wa the chars draped III hol.
land over Their Old cmnt2es, ana would
receive messages through Mary Nate
flavn. the parlor mald. ne master
says OF youI give 1t up you're 20 have
dinner and glass OF grog If YOU won't
give II up, it's time you'd be @oin' home.
A cryptic message, out one which Mr..
| Whelan seemed to understand. He had
heard it often enough TO be surt. He
never did so home, and he always had his
! Inner &2d glass OF gr' and his tea t.
! follow
| IL wasn't III my grandfather 70 be M
! hospitaDlc Since Mr.. Fhelan was his
guest willy-nilly. why, there were worse
! fellows than Whe}an to smoke a pipe
| with and drink Il glass of grog with:
| and my grandfather was very grecariou>
and Il little bit lonely. so many of the
| old familiar faces had dropped out.
/ Mr. Nhalan used to get him to talk OF
! his boyhood i'm thp olens of Wicklow
| softened mood. To the last moment he
would swear that he would not nav. At
the last moment or nearly the last mo.
ment. he invariably did Once I remem-
! Der he was moved to paw bv Mr. Wbolap
! droppinc his face in his hands and he.
ginning to weep. You won't nav" he
sobbed. and | couldn't distraiu on Won.
! I'll pay the tax myself. although I'm q
/
/ poor idiot boy of 4 brother tn sunportio
| well. I'm dashed!" said NV 1rond.
/ father-only he didn't saw dashed
Il never thought to spe tax collector
crying. and because Of me! I'm dashed
| if it isn't worth the money Nhey,,'s
the pen and ink and NV checkbook ~
In an evil hour for the revenue in that
particular district. Mr.. WbelaD was
promoted. and was roplac,u5 nv an mn.
compromising youth. with sIeel hair
parted down the middle Of has head
waxen image of face, spats on his
shoes, and the name OF Evan How'd
/ I.lewellyn Jones. The first time he coIiad
for the income tax and my father renlio5
that he wasn't going to nav il he said
with an aghast visape. +Then wc'U dis.
train
"Distrain and be dashedi" nv GRAND.
father said, taking a leaf from the iron
Duke on a certain famous OCCASION. a
never have paid, and won't paw now."
| 1t is a way my grandfather haA acouired
of believing what he wished to believe
You never have paidr' Mr.. Jones said
with excessive horror. Never have maid
The income tax! Why. every one who
! has an income must paw the itn,,," His
mind was r,,unipg on orroo,.- f ;,,,o
/ tax. making IN sums in arithmetic which
mounted to an incredible total
Never paid your income taxi" he said
| in distraueht way as he wrnt oty
I've never heard the like ITO he surc
you must pay!7 There wos no whisky
for MIR. Jones, no chat by the fire M
pipe no seat at the hospitabIe hoard
An impudent Welsh puppyto .soid NV
grandfather. Wasn't nm Irishmon good
enough to do their dirty work without
foisting a Welshman on us? I'm dashed
/ ii Pm going to be walked over bv -
/ Nelshman. I won't nav not If tbo,,
/ .got- bo lc1+ 49, -