Waterbury evening Democrat., 1905-09-18

In a farmer who smelled like cows,
and dad tried to get in quarrel with
him, about English roast beef coming
from America, but the man didn't have
his arguing clothes on, so dad began
to find fault with me, and the man
told dad to let up on the kid or ne
would punch lis bloody ed of. That
settled it, when the man dropped his
"h," dad thought he was one OF the
mobility, and he got quite chummy
with the Englishman, and then we got
to London, and dad had quarrel
about his baggage, and after threaten
ing to have lot of fights he got mis-
trunk on the roof Of cab, and IN
about an hour we got to the hotel, and
then the fog began an engagement. II
the fog here ever froze stiff, the town
would look like piece of ice with
fish frozen in. Gee, but | would like
to have it freeze in front Of our hotel,
SO could take an ak and go out and
chop frozen girl out, and thaw her
till she came TO.
Say, old man, if anybody ever wants
to treat you to trip to Europe, don't
come here, but go to some place where
they don't. think they can speak Eng
gligh. You can understand Nitalian
or a Frenchman, or Dutchman, who
can't speak English, and knows ne
can't, better than you can an English
man who thinks he can speak Eng
lish, and can't, don't you know
Everything is don't you know. II
a servant gives you az evening paper.
he says: ''Ere's your paper, don't
you know and if man should
don't say they would, but if man
should give you a civil answer, when
you asked him the name Of a street,
he would look at you as though you
were a cannibal, and say: Regent
street, don't you know and then he
would act as though you had broken
| him of his rest. Dad asked more than
dozen men where Bill Aston lived,
and of all the population of London
| don't believe anybody knows, except
one newsboy. We rode half day on
top of bus, through streets so crowd
ed that the horses had to creep, and
| dad hung on for fear the bus would
be tipped over, and finally we got out
| into the suburbs, where the rich peo'
pie live, and dad said we were right
on the trail of King Edward, and VIC
got off and loitered around, and dac
saw beautiful place, with a big iror
fence, and a gate as big as a railroad
| bridge, and dad asked a newsboy who
| lived there, and the boy made up
face at dad and said: 'H'astor, you
bloke,' and he put out his hand for {
tip. 1t was the first civil answer daC
had received in London, so he gave thu
boy a dollar The boy fell over OF
the sidewalk, dead, and dad started t
90 away for fear he would be arrest
ed for murder, but l kicked the boy
and he got up and yelled some kint
of murdered English, and more thai
dozen newsboys came on a gallon
and when the boy told them what hal
happened they all wanted dad to asl
them questions.
81 told the boys dad was Andrew
Carnegie, and that he was giving ava,
millions of dollars. so when dad go
to the gate of the beautiful Haste
place, the boys yelled Andrew Carne
gle, and turnkey flunked the gat
open and dad and l went in, an
walked up to the house. Aston was o
the verandA, smoking Missouri cor
cob pipe, and drinking American bee
and seemed to be wishing he wa
back home in America. Dad marche
! right up to the veranda, like vetera
soldier, and Aston could see dad wa
an American by the dandruff on hi
coat collar, and Astor said:
"'You are an American citizen an
YOU are welcome Once was like yol
and didn't care continental for any
body, but in moment Of passion
renowned my country, swore a
! legiance to this blawsted country, an
A !