West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1905-05-18
THE RAMBLER
Longs 10 Return to Preston and Min.
gle With the Piemen.
he AND GOVERNOR PLEASED
OYER LAKIES NOMINATION
Orator Hughes Grafton Over the Live
Body Of Jim Lakin Masterpiece
Arthur Middleton Doing 4 Stunt
On the Stage as the "Esoap-
ed Egyptian Mummy"

/ wish it was possible for me tC
get back into Preston for few days
and mingle with the piemen in thei
uncomfortable rejoicing over Iheir
harmonizing aud the nomination o
Jim Lakin for Congress. But Gov
Dawson says he cannot spare IN,
for one moment. The trouble /!
that the Governor and myself have
passed the rejoicing stage and have
tumbled over into the field of halle
lujah Although | have passed the
DR.. Osler chloroform age | can still
give two yells to the Governors one,
and the Governor has the reputation
of being the best yeller in the State
when the pies are in danger He
yelled so loud the last campaign that
the Standard Oil Company, the Gas
Trust, the Coal Companies and the
railroads thought it was old Gabriel
blowing his horn for them to come
to judgement, and as they were not
prepared to appear before the throne
they made a wild rush 10 Gov. Daw-
son to save them. They knew that
Gov. Dawson was not afraid OF
Gabriel and a thousand horns when
he is put on guard to protect the
pies. Besides, the Governor had
never heard Of Gabriel and his po-
litical tactics. The only thing that
has ever frightened the Governor
when his pies have been attacked is
the Kanawha County Hcg Combine.
They are the only combination in
the State that cannot be scared by
the mention of the penitentiary.
The other combinations will walk
up TO the door to protect their pies,
but when you invite them to step
inside they tell you that the Hog
Combine is the only combination
that has charter permitting them
to go inside.
The Family Journal and the Peo
Piles Leader has just came to hand
and they are teeming over with good
news from Preston. They tell us oil
about the harmonizing and the nom
ination of Jim Lakin. The Cover
nor had me to read aloud to him
the accounts of the harmonizing and
the nomination of Bro. Lakin so he
could give full vent to his hallelu-
jah. The Governor stripped for
action with nothing on but his paja-
mas. He gave an exhibition Of the
serpentlne skirt dance that would
have done credit to the girls who
unfold Old Glory to the breeze and
flop their long skirts until they twist
them into all kind Of rainbows and
butterflies while the man behind the
search lights operate the machine.
| always take a seat in the front row
when the program announces that
the long skirts are to be the attrac-
tion. After the exhibition closes ]
dwell for two weeks in what the
preachers describe as Paradise and
the Promised Land. I have always
noticed that after such description
by the preachers that the contribu
ton box can testify to the goodness,
Of the people. There is method in
all kind of attractions. never
worry about the pies and the new
tax laws until / recover from the
Paradise. Gov Dawson is in ful
control during my absence.
Since the arrival OF the Famh,
Journal and the Peoples Leader
find that Senator a. G.. Hughes, whc
emigraied from Andrew Jackson
county, this State, to Preston, is tn,
man who nominated Jim Lakin.
have read the speech carefully, ir
fact have read it a dozen Of times
to see II Orator Hughes left an,
loop holes by which any Of the 9th
er candidates could get out Of thu
hafbor where he had them bottle,
up. Bro. Hughes made a speecl
similar to the one would hay
made had been present at the con
vention. would not, however az
pealed to them TO vote for Bro
Lakin on the reputation Of Napo
leon as a ie.6ghtcr. 1 have neye
admired Napoleon since he allowe
Wellington to lick him. Bro
Hughes is also mistaken as to wher
the battle was fought lie ma
have gotten his information fror
history which cannot always be re
lied on. II depends on which pic
man is paying the historian. TAX
myself as an illustration. have