davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

Tile IuOSl IuUOFlOuS
efforts and that,
although they may
have seemed to he
spontaneous, were
merely the result
Of n careful and
t II Il silnula-
ton Of ~spOntaneity.
There is n reason
for all this. Stage
comedy finds its cf-
f~ectivenesS O in
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

sit fits like the paper on the wall.
"Sw-ssh-uguZ-wOll gph-m-mm-Sh-p-Z."
she said. stamping her foot.
Didn't l tell you it was all right"
asked the comedian. lowering the pr-
per. Maybe it needs a little taking up
in the shoulders. but nobody could no
tice It,"
Hastily letting the pins fall from her
mouth to her hand, she cried: i've
asked you three times to raise the Win
dow blind so that l could get more
light. It's a pity you can't understand
plain English"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

ut NV1f1T00HVs I'M
played here last week. had to pay only
so ccnts?"
"My friend" retOrted the landlord
convincinyly, those other people charg-
ed me but 30 cents to see their show;
you demanded 70 cents"
Henrietta Crosman, who is now play
ing in "Sweet Kitty Bellairs.'' is very
much afraid of fire and has good rca-
o for such Il feeling. She is the
daughter of an arny officer. Much Of
her girll!ood was spent at posts on the
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

on this subject for
presentation to the
full house.. The
bills drawn by
Messrs. Esch and
Townsend we're
thought to carry
out best the rec
concentrations OF
the presidents
message. and they
We're in conse-
quence combined
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

f~H Aoo'S' In 1850. lie wears
both a German name and title. He
became naturalized as a British sub
ject when he entered the navy. Prince
Louis recently became a rear admiral
and is head Of the intelligence depart
nlent Of the navy. The second cruiser
squadron is reputed the fastest In the
world. and the Prince of Wales is in
supreme command Of it. 1t will be
Inspected by King Edward before
starting on it's cruise to American wa
ters. The flagship of Prince Louis is
the Drake.
Representative Badger of Ohio. a
Democrat. who was defeated for re-
election. although running 5000 ahead
Of his ticket. met one of his German
constituents OH the morning after the
election of last November.
We'll. Mr.. Badger" said the German,
"you runs 5000 ahead of our ticket.
but vas overcome by the landscape"
When Senator Reveridge of Indiana
was making his closing speech OH the
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

lines. The success of those situations
depends on the attention to detail.
grouping, tableau, climax and all else
that goes to make up the stage illu-
sion. Lines follow them as Il matter
of course: hence l say that comedy is
the most serious business in the world.
"A young school of acting %acquaint-
ance Of mine last summer probably
shaped his future career on the stage
by a remark he made to me, which
suddenly revealed that the young
man possessed Il keen appreciation Of
humor. He came to ne, telling me
Of his disappointment at his first at
tempt. Il was to come Oh the stage
steaitllily and say. "Hist"' he cx-
claimed. 'And?' said l. And l said it,
and was,' he mock pathetically on
clulcd. told him he was a comedian
and ought to be Missed for undertake
Ing serious work, and he Immediately
changed his course Of study"
Richard Golden of Henry w. Saw
ages Common Sense Bracket" com
ldiN Siio LAG AOilO" lIS ilIuSIIlS III
stance of English "aS she is spoken"
The comedian had returned from n re-
hcarSal and was sitting reading the
paper. His wife came into the room
and began twisting herself around in
an effort to see the back Of her new
blouse. by the tense lines and pouting
aspect about her lips he knew that her
y,,,fI u-Oc f,,n nf ntnc JIn l,,nv, -
anyway without looking for those
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

frontier. Oftentilnes
her father took her
and her mother on
expeditions into wild
parts of the country.
On one occasion
her father was ut
the head OF Il bat
TALON of infantry
and engineers sent
by the government
to establish q tenn
nora ~ nn:t nInnO
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05
4 Commitment.

ibid you ever have an editor say
anything tlattering to you?" asked the
poets friend.
Eyes. The editor Of the Diurnal did
once.' replied the poet.
"Why, they don't pay for poetry"
That's just what he said to me. in
timating that my stuff was poetry
Philadelphia Ledger.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

his COUSIN, 1rlH-
cess Victoria. who
was a daughter Of
Q e Victoria's
daughter Alice. He
is n nephew Of the
late empress of
Russia and Il broth
err : in : law Of the
car. a %brother-in-
law of Prince Hen
~ Of Prussia and
Il native of Austria,
where he was born
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

having darne,|
the family socks.
This might t.
for philosophy
hut in the ari;i,.
lmetic of every
day life it doe
not always WORT,
out.
One cNalnpl,
will suffice. Ii
n nNrr ,,,,,s%, a,
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

lnnery. The land
lord serves Il splen-
did dinner ut 30
cents a plate"
"Thank you for
the suggestion" re-
piled the other CRATE
fully. I'VE play
there next week."
"IIOw is tliiS:" de-
manded Mr.. purci-
fnl 4 week later. II
am charged a cents
n plate. while the
Oriental High Step
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

Sl'tttIiOOu VII III
said: Some of the
senators have been
trying to 0 that
things exactly sim
liar are different.
They remind me of
the young woman
who was called on
to defend her sex
against the charge
that no woman on
earth can keep a Sc
cret. .......... ......
awe can too she
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05
Compensation.

Emerson had the law Of compensa-
ton SO finely figured down that a Ros.
ton schOOlma'am could see it without
her glasses. The way he had the dope
mixed. ii II man was without ppvevt.'
he generally had health. and if he s.;
In the lap of Luxury lie was apt to yet
stuck with Il needle that Luxury had
carelessly tucked in her apron aftc:
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

recently 1T has been
my lucky number.
l was born on the
thirteenth Of the
month: there are
thirteen letters In
my name: l was
graduated on the
18th of June; left
New York on the
18th of August to
toxic my first idle
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

- iiil'tcAiiS.
~"Umph-got wuff-
wifi sh-thbf-fsy-f.'
she said.
Eyes, it looks all
right he answered.
"Owf-wuh Ss-pf-
suf-up-up W-r-r-rOO-
ghsth.' she mum
bled.
"Of OurSe ii
does" he assured
her, g%lancing over
fhc ton of The DaDCr
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

boy of seventeen that the incident oc-
S%ullivan's father kept a small hotel, to
which a bar was attached. A former
prize fighter. who was intoxicated, tried
early one Sunday morning to enter the
bar. On being refused admittance q
scutfle with the elder Sullivan ensued.
Young Sullivan Went to his fathers
aid. and the pugilist was driven of.
Several days afterward he died. A
grand jury brought in an indictment
for manslaughter against both father
and son, and the former was sent to
the ~penitentiary. The son was re-
leased on account OF his youth and the
circumstances in which he took part
in the fight. After the father had been
in prison for a year and a half it was
alleged that the pugilist did not die
from injuries received at the hands of
the Sullivans. The imprisoned man
was %thereupon pardoned. Representa-
tive Sullivan says he did nothing he
would not do yer again under the
same circumstances.
Representative John Jacob Esch OF
Wisconsin has had the honor Of giving
his name, in connection with Mr.. Town
send OF Michigan, to the most impor-
tant measure passed in congress dur
ing the present session, the Esch-Town-
send bill for regulating railroad freight
rates. lie is a member of the commit
FOO on Interstate and foreign m
which was charged with drafting a bill!
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

1ueu anu Will II
current Of humor
hidden in EEL
line. The follow
Ing advertisement
appears in the col
ulnns: owing to
my i'll health l will
sell at my resi-
dence in township
10. range IS. ac-
cording to the gov
ornn,nnf'c cnrv,ox,
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

1T was because ct
his dressing so we'll
and carrying him
self with the air of
n Wall street bank
er that Clusky
was frequently de-
tailed for special
service at society
functions in New
York and Washing
ton.
He has at differ.
ent times been in
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05
4 SynlDtOril.

Mrs. .Ascum-What makes you think
your husband is seriously i'll? He
doesn't complain, does he?
Mrs. Wise-No; that's why think he
must be sick.-BaltimOre News,
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

self in various ways
by his O to en-
courage the study
French in America
and has been deco
rated an official OF
the French Legion
of Honor in recOg-
milton of his work.
Recently he won
fame by giving a
hall in which q foto
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05
Preferred the Cash,

"My husband trusts you. doctor. i'm
plicitly."
THAT'S very kind of your husband,
madam, but I'm not quite SO sure that
l can implicitly trust him."-Boston
Herald.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

grandmother. Mrs. Evelyn Cameron,
was Il member of Macready's company,
and her mother. Madge Carr Cooke. is
playing Mrs. Wigs in Mrs. Wigs Of
the Cabbage Patch" Miss Robson does
not share the popular prejudice against
the number thirteen. 80 far" she said
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05
The objection.

Dumley-I suppose she didn't like my
making Sleeps eyes ut her, eli?
Synnex-She didn't like your using
sleeps eyes the way You did.-Boston
Transcript.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05
Good Idea,

"They say Miss Highstepper is going
to marry an army officer"
"Well, l should think that a man who
makes Il business of war might be able
to get along with her."-Detroit Free
Press.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05
Rich In His Mind,

vile has Il first mortgage on her af-
fections."
"Why doesn't he foreclOse?"
He hasn't the money for the neces-
sary legal papers,"
"What legal papers are necessary for
that?"
"a marriage license"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

If you just think of 1t a minute, quite
a difference appears between paying as
you go and going as you pay.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05
Not knockins-Oh mol

II think ! Shall have my son take
voice culture"
ut is Il good idea. One never knows
what will happen. and 1t would come in
handy if he should have to make his
living selling fish"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05
Couldn't STOP,

He only asked her for one kiss
just one, he said. was plenty
But when the lady gave consent
The villain stole some twenty.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05
His Receptive Capacity.

HE has a wonderfully receptive
mind"
Eyes. l understand he made 100000
In a year once as a receiver."-Chicago
Record Herald.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

her; Il woman t1atters Il man to amuse
herself.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

P%aterfamilias (who has just rung up
the call office and has his attention d.
verified by his little daughter)-Hello.
dear, coming to kiss M good night:
Voice Of Female Telephone Clerk (se-
verely)-I beg your pardon!
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05
A Winning Hand.

He held her hand; twas diamond decked.
In contact We're their faces.
He looked at II and softly said,
"Well, this hand beats our aces!'
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

worth by the bill his wife's drcssmaker
sends in.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05
Coming to This.

what is Senator Buncome noted
f0r:"
For his elouuence and parliamentary
law"
mo, l didn't mea that. What is he
indicted fOr:''
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

Occasionally the smile Of fortune is Il
malicious grin.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05
Too Easy.

"Charley can't make up his mind
which of two girls to marry"
"Are both of them willing?"
Eyes"
'"Then he will look around until he
finds a third who isn't"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

stopping at the Baldwin hotel in San
Francisco. "Oh, DEAR" she said II
day. Il shall never feel satisfied while
l am here. l have Il presentiment that
something is going to happen, and l
am so afraid of fire."
She decided to leave the hotel on a
Monday. and the following night the
hotel was burned to the ground.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05
People Who
Are In the
Public Eye
T is whispered that James Hazen

T Is whispered that James Hazen
Hyde, whose connection with the
Equitable Life Assurance society
has caused a controversy in that
corporation, aspires to be ambassador
Of the United States to France some
day. His prominence in the life insur-
c concern founded by his father. the
late Henry r. Hyde, has not prevented
him from giving attention to many
matters quite outside the realm of
business, and among these are the
study Of the French language and lit.
erature. He is president of the FEEDER
alton Of the Alliance Franchise in the
United States, has distinguished him
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

f. II. Sothern, who is co-star with
Julia Marlowe in Shakespearean roper
toire this season. tells Il story about his
father. who was famous years ago as
Lord Dundreary.
The elder Sothern was a firm be-
lever in the noisy audience. lie con-
sidered that the play patron, If he was
pleased with the entertainment. should
demonstrate his pleasure. On II oc.
casion he was playing in Il small town
where the manager of the theater had
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

COntcntment may be better thar
gold. but you can't cash It.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

The man who can tell where praise
shades into judicious %tlatte., and uses
his knowledge is in the line of general
promotion.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

The hero who used to stop the run
away horse ana win the love of the
pretty girl finds himself put out Of
business 10y the runaway auto.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05
Tales Told
BY the
Thespians

ISIS 4 ROBSON, who
has made such a success In
Merely Mary Ann" comes
Of u family If actors Hor
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

The difference between Il fad and q
science is this-the fad is the thing that
the other fellow is daffy about.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-04-05

When Senator Beveridge of Indiana
was making his closing speech on the
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-10-06

Tired, nervous and irritable, the
mother is unfit to care for her chill
dren, and her condition ruins the child's
disposition and reacts upon herself.
The mother should not be blamed, as
she no doubt is suffering with back
ache, headache, bearing-down pains or
displacement, making life burden.
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound is the unfailing cure for this
condition. 1t strengthens the female
organs and permanently cures all dis
placements and Irregularities.
Such testimony as the following
should convince women of its value:
Dear Mrs Pinkham:
Iwaut to tell you how much good Lydia Il.
Pinkhams Vegetable Compound has done me.
l suffered for eight years with ovarian
troubles. was nervous, tired and ir-
ritable, and it did not seem as though could
stand it any longer, as had five children to
care for Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound was recommended and It has en-
tirely cured me. / cannot thank you enough
for your letter Of advice and for what Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound has done
for me.-Mrs. Phi Hoffman, 100 Himrod
Street, Brooklyn, N r."
Mrs. Pinkham advises sick women
free. Address, Lynn, Mass.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-10-06
Students from Calcutta

Word has been received at the Cor
nell college of agriculture from the
director of the department Of land
records, Bengal, India, that the Indian
government would send four stu
dents this fall to Cornell to take a
special course in agriculture. These
students are graduates of the uni
versity of Calcutta and have also
taken post graduate work in the Sib-
pur engineering college, so they will
be graduate students at Cornell. 1t
is believed that they are the first to
be sent to any college in the United
States by the government of India.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-10-06

Every housekeeDer should know
that If they will buy Defiance Cold
Water Starch for laundry use they
will save not only time, because it
never sticks to the iron, but because
each package contains 16 oz.-one fuU
pound-while all other Cold Water
Etarches arc put up in x pound pack
ages, and the price is the same, 10
cents. Then again because Defiance
Starch is free from all injurious chem
Icals. II your grocer tries to sell you
12-oz. package 1t is because he has
q stock on hand which he wisheV to
dispose Of before he puts in Defiance.
He knows that Defiance Starch has
printed on every package in large let.
ters and figures "16 czs." Demand De-
dance and save much time and money
and the annoyance CT the iron stick
Ing. Defiance never sticks.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-10-06
SOVEREIGN Who is PunctuaI

All men agree in the abstract that
"punctuality is the soul of business, ?
but few act up to the maxim with
the strictness Of the king of the Bel
gians. Wherever or however he may
travel. whether the visit be of busi-
ness, pleasure or ceremony, ne is
punctual, not only to the hour, but to
the minute-it might almost be said
to the second. And yet his majesty
is never seen to consult watch. But
his familiars know that his habit Of
passing his hands along his flowing
beard is only a device for glancing
at small watch he wears fastened
10 his wrist.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-10-06
He Gave a Library to Salt Lake

John @. Packard, a pioneer miner
Of Utah, is the donor of Salt Lake
City's new public library. He first
gave $4,000 and subsequently in
creased his gift to s125,0OO. Taking
note of Andrew Carnegie's library
giving, Mr.. Packard said Il think
Salt Lake is entitled to a public IL
brary, and it won't have 30 be under
any obligations to Mr.. Carnegie for
it, either-Ill just build one myself" i"
The building is now ready for use,
thoroughly equipped after the mod
ern fashion, and the city is to supply
the books. Mr.. Packard now lives
in California.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-10-06
RESTORED HIS HAIR
Scalp Humor Cured by cutlcura Soap
and Ointment-After All Else
Had Failed. III

Il was troubled with a severe scalp
humor and Ioss Of hair that gave me a
great deal of annoyance and inconven-
ience. After unsuccessful efforts with
many remedies and so-called hair
tonics, friend induced me to try
Cuticura Soap and Ointment. The
humor was cured in a short time, my
hair was restored as healthy as ever,
and can gladly say have since been
entirely free from any further annoy
ance. l shall always use Cuticura
Soap, and | keep the Ointment on
hand to use as a dressing for the hair
and scalp. (Signed) Fredk Busche,
21S East 57th ST., New York City"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-10-06
Six Doctors Failed.

South Bend, Ind. Sept. 25th (Spe-
ciaD-After suffering from Kidney
Disease for three years; after taking
treatment from six different doctors
without getting relief. Mr. ]. o. Lau-
deman Of this place found not only
relief but a speedy and complete cure
in Dodd's Kidney Pills. Speaking OF
his cure Mr.. Laudeman says:
Yes, l suffered from Kidney Trou-
BILE for three years and tried six doc
tors to no good. Then l took just two
boxes OF Dodd's Kidney Pills and they
not only cured my kidneys, but gave
me better health in general. OF course
I recommended Dodd's Kidney Pills
to others and know a number now
who are using them with good re-
suits"
Mr.. Laudeman's case is not an ex-
ception. Thousands give similar ex.
periences. For there never yet was a
case Of Kidney Trouble from Back
acne to Bright's Disease that Dodd's
Kidney Pills could not cure. They are
the only remedy that ever cured
Bright's Disease.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-10-06

The visitor of an English health
resort has issued the following notice
ITO meet the convenience Of visitors,
arrangements have been made with
the vicar Of the parish for the burial
Of guests at greatly reduced fees.
The privilege may be withdrawn if
1t is abused"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-10-06

"Oh, John," she exclaimed, NOW
that you've seen my new bonnet you
simply can't regret that got it. Isn't
it just a poem?"
well, if 1t is" replied John, Il
guess a proper title for it would be
Owed to Milliner. Philadelphia
Press
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-10-06
HospltaI for Fishes

The Vienna hospital for diseased
fishes is surprising the doctors The
patients have already included carp
having an inflammation akin to ap-
pendicitis, ten others smallpox, por-
poise from the Adratic with infam-
nation Of the lungs, a trout with
cataract in both eyes and another
with dropsy.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-10-06

Mr.. James Edward Britt, represent
ing the United States, and Mr.. Mat
thew Oscar Nelson, representing Den
mark, settled another international
dispute In a method somewhat out of
the recent order Of things.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-10-06

The kidney secretions were too copi-
Gus and frequent. and very bad in ap-
pearance. 1t was in 1903 that Doan's
Kidney Pills helped me SO quickly and
cured me Of these troubles and I've
been we'll ever since"
Foster-Milburn Co.. Buffalo, N. Y.
For sale by all druggists. Price, 80
cents per box.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-10-06

According to DR.. Carpenter, a Penn
sylvania surgical expert. the rush and
hurry Of living-the pursuit Of the al
mighty dollar-is the most plainly de-
ducible cause for the existence Of ap-
pendicitis. Go little slower after
this.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-10-06
When Your Grocer Save

ne does not have Defiance Starch, you
may be sure he is afraid to keep II un-
til his stock OF IL or. packages are
sold. Defiance Starch is not only bet
ter than any other Cold Water Starch,
but contains 16 OF. to the package and
sells for same money as - OF. brands.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-10-06
TWO shakas

When you tire of the Chills shaking
you and wish to shake them for
change just use the old reliable Cheat
hams Chill Tonic. 1t knocks them
every time. One bottle guaranteed to
cure any one case.