davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-04-26

Th3; extent OF some people 8
charitablenesa is to attend q charity
theatrical performanoe where there is
e chance OF getting the worth Of their
money. u
When society woman can't
think OF anything more to say at a
social function, she moves on aud
gives the other women a chance to say
things about her.
Nv 49, a woman goes to an afternoon
tea in the same state. Of excitement as
aman does to a. horse race.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-04-26
Less work, more weeds.

- Less work, more weeds.
- Now let the cold waves cease TO |
wave.
= Men make money and women
make them hand it over.
= A cheeky girl with painted cheeks
is the limit.
= No one ever saw henpecked
man with double chin.
- les easier to acquire poor wife
than good servant girl.
- A pun is sharp thorn in the
side of man who can't make one.
A fool begins to acquire sense
after he Is divorced from his money.
- IN after years spinster may re-
gret that she ever learned to say
"No."
= The simple lives Of some people
are enough to drive their neighbors
frantic.
= Generally speaking the shortest
day in the year is usually the day be-
fore payday.
= If Shakespeare had written fash
ion articles women would think much
more Of him.
= 1t appears as if most mems mon
ey could spend itself if there was 10th
ing to spend it on.
A girl is more foolish about
man after she is married to him than
he is about her before.
- A woman regulates her calendar
by wash day and the childrcn's s Satur-
day holiday from school.
= The way not to get beaten in an
argument with your wife about tn e
children is to agree with her.
= Full dress for woman is being
only half clothed.
- Sometimes man can be very
fair farmer unless he has scienti6 c
ideas about it.
A girl is sure to think you are
trying to firt with her if you are care.
| not to look ct her for fear she will.
= A mormon could have a good dea'
of spending money borrowing back the
allowances Of all his wives.
- When woman boards the train
| for her wedding trip she imagines
| all her female acquaintances envy
| her.
- If some men were to refrain from
telling what they don't know it would
be great surprise to their aoquaint-
| anoes.
- Nothing makes married woman
so mad as to have bachelor give her
the laugh when she tells him he reel
iy ought to get married.
= A man could save lots of money
by stopping smoking if he didn t have
i to spend much more to keep from get
ting mad with himself for doing it.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-04-26
The ususIFornr,,-..

This story is told by Georgia
congressman. One day an old negro
asked his mistress, a woman of un-
usual education and refinement, to
write a letter for him. "Write it to
my gal."s
ssWhat shall I write ?" asked his
mistress good naturedly.
. Waal, I dunno, but jest say,
Notwithstanding" N A few. lines
were written, working in the desired
word &, ,s
What next ?"
ssWaal, missis, jest tell her to
'souse bad spelli,' and Yritin'p
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-04-26
Could Not Wait on So Many.

The young man, says the New
York Times, was Of that peculiarly
embarrassing age when the male
voice changes.
He had gone into store and in
g tone that was one moment a prom
Using bass and the next a thin treble
was ordering some collars.
"One at. tfmep the bewildered
proprietor suddenly interjected.
Zone at q time, pleased"
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-04-26
Whanrf q man r,,i I'd oean't. drink it 1

When 8 man doesn't drink it is
3 sign he has had very bad habits
and lie going TO have them again.
on could never make q woman
believe the frat tims she rides Id an,
automobile that everybody is not look-
ing ne her. s5.35,
A girl can be d good deal more
5dignjfed about being kissed against
Ler will than she dan about herexpiain
Ing 20 her mother that she wasn't
H.. III o man money worries him a
doctor con quickly relieve him.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-04-26
FOEey's Honey and Tar
for children. safe. sure. No 0pIafes.
Notice to Creditors

ALL persons having demands against
the Estate Of Sarah Rsvenel: decess-
cd, are hereby notified 20 present them,
properly proven, TO the undersigned,
GEO. NJ. TOLLY,
Administrators with will annexed.
April s, 1905 AZ 3
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-04-26
Notice to Creditors.

All persons having demands against
the Estate Of T.. C. Chambles, de-
ceased. are hereby notified to present
them, properly proven, to the undersign-
ed, within the time prescribed by law, xnd
those indebted to make payment.
GEORGE w. PEPPER, EX'r.
April 5, 1905 ~
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-04-26
!. Relieved From One Job.

The neW-spirit had just arrived in
inferno. ..i. s8s.
NO." grinned an imp, eve never
let the fire go out. !"
Thank goodnessP replied the
shade. hen I won't have to take
the stoYepipe downl" s !.
Crashing his teeth, Satan perceive
sed he could not do his worst. New
York Tribune. ,Ea'
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-04-26
Why tI,ssLe.avea Fail.

AS soon as d tree stem ceases to
take Ia much moisture a layer Of
cells is formed with very tender
shells or cases on the stalk Of each
sleaf close TO- the branch OF stwig.
This growing tissue presses onward
like d wedge, pushing the older cells
and at last compel ling them to snap.
The breaking point is often 30 clear
@lydefined that when d leaf has fallen
it seenls as though its stem had been
scnts through with q knife. This is
the real Tsason for the downfall OF
the leaves, and their weight is often
enough to separate them from the
trees, though of course, wind md
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-04-26
Notice of Final Settlement.

THE undersigned, Administrator of
the Estate of Cynthia l.. Orr, deceased,
hereby gives notice that he will on
Monday, the lst dav of May, 1905, apply
to thP Judge of Probate fer Anderson
County, S, g., for Final Settlement of
said Estate, and a discharge from his
ofl!cs as Administrator.
JOHN, y. WATKINS, Admir-.
March %, 1905 Al s.
The Imperial press., 1905-09-02
Coronado Tent City now open.

Virgil Patterson will buy your fat hogs.
 Get 25c shave for 15c at the Valley Barber Shop. Opposite Bank.
 For rent, office rooms in the Garner block, also furnished rooms. Apply to 1. L. Wilson.
 w. E. Downing and wife returned Wednesday evening from a months stay at Santa Barbara and the beach resorts.
 Mrs. William Vessel and children returned from six weeks outing last week. very much improved from their visit to Redlands and the beach.
 Mir. and Mrs. c. F. Preble returned from a months outing last Monday. They have spent the time in Los An geles, Santa Ana and at the beaches.
 The breaking down of the electric plant for one day last week caused a dearth of ice last Sunday and as the mercury was soaring over the Is degree mark the loss was severely felt. There is certainly no place on earth where ice water and ice cold drinks are more wholesome or better relished than they are in Imperial Valley.
 Frank Russell a member of the River side Press staff and R. J. Halderman, Riverside capitalist, visited the Val ley the past week. MT. Russell to study us at close range for the benefit of his paper and Mr. Halderman to visit with Wheeler X Go. at their ranch on the Eastside. Mir. Halderman is one of the firm of Wheeler & Go. and comes to see how the ranch is prOspering. Both will be convinced of the positive character of Imperial summer weather which has been breaking the record for their entertainment.
 On last Sunday evening the family of Willard Gray was called on by visitor which, while somewhat rare in this locality is nevertheless worthy of atten- tion. Shortly after they had retired and were settled for nights rest, Mr. Gray was aroused by commOtion near at hand and looking out saw a large rattlesnake of the "diamond back" variety trying to catch the house cat. In common with everyone else, Mr. Gray and family sleep out doors at this season of the year, so Mir. Snake was right in among the beds and cots before Mir. Gray could find anything to kill him with. As soon as the sleepers reused up the snake cOiled md rattled his warning and after what seemed like a half hours hunting, Mir. Gray found a shovel and dispatched the snake which, when measured, proved to be three and a-half feet long, with six rattles, This is the first snake reported so far this summer, but even this one makes a fellow feel like "roOsting higher"
The Imperial press., 1905-09-02
Coronado Tent City now open.

J. E. Ritner of Stevenson Bros. Go. dry goods department returned from months outing last Sunday.
 The street sprinkler has passed into the hands of Mir. J. H. Beck who put it into operation last Tuesday evening, much to the relief of the people of Inn perial It is understood that Mir. Carey for the City Water Company has agreed to let Mr. Beck have water for the streets for $25O per week or just half the former charge. It may be possible now to run the sprinkler by subscrip- tion till the city gets ready to under take the care of the streets, which we are informed they contemplate doing as soon as taxes are collected.
 $. B. Hammar, who went back to visit friends and relatives at his old home in Charles City, Iowa, some weeks ago, returned last Sunday and resumed his place as bookkeeper for the National Lum Der Go. Mir. Hammar says that while coming through Arizona Saturday, heavy rains fell and Sunday morning there were pools of water standing beside the railroad track this side of Yuma for at least twenty miles. This shows that the Tightening which has played on the eastern horizon after nightfall for the past week portended rains in Arizona
 It is reported that couple of Ameri- cans went over into Mexicali a few nights ago and while en route along the primrose path got into an encounter with some of the dusky sons of sunny Mexico. This resulted in their in- carceration in the celebrated boxcar, now noted ip the diplomatic records of both nations as the place of torture of John Robinson. However, the presence and official station of Senor Terrazas enabled them to have a speedy trial, pay their fine and regain their liberty. liSI cei leey llo iOh hOH Cl 1lS IO hCCP their employer from learning of the escapade.
 c. s. Thompson, an old time typo but now prosperous ranCher in Num- Der Seven, visited our sanctum this week. Mir. Thompson spent seventeen years in the newspaper business and says he loves the smell of print shop, but that an alfalfa and hog ranch comes nearer making living for it's owner. He has one of the best farms in the Valley and claims that his alfalfa is carrying fourteen hogs per acre during the growing season, and that during July and August it could have carried more. We haven't yet figured out the profit on this basis but think 1t beats country newspaper. Mir. Thompson went out to the coast for a vacation on Wednespay morning. The alfalfa ranchers can do thi0 but the editors have to stay with the tripod.
The Imperial press., 1905-09-02

WANTED-200 head or more of cattle
 to pasture on Kaffir corn and barley fine pasture, well fenced, good care guaranteed. Enquire ef E. Mead, w.
 1-2 of Sec. 8, four miles N. w. of HOltville. July I-tf
The Imperial press., 1905-09-02

FOR EXCHANGE-16O acre ranch, clear, i'll Reynolds County, Missouri, value, $2O per acre, to exchange for Imperial. Address with statement of proposition, ''X," care of Press
 Feb 25-tf
The Imperial press., 1905-09-02
MISCELLANEOUS

ALFALFA Pasture l 11a miles southwest of Imperial. G. E. Irwin, Phone 145 aug 26 If
The Imperial press., 1905-09-02

STRAY-Red steer, year old past, at my place, 3 miles $. W. from Imperi- al. l.. l.. Forester. Apply at Press office, and describe the brand and marks. july 8 If
The Imperial press., 1905-09-02
CL ASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS
5 cents a line each insertion.
FOR SALE

FOR SALE-Gasoline engine 1-2 horse power. A bargain for the right party. Apply PRESS office
The Imperial press., 1905-09-02
Train Time.

Leave for Old Beach 4:27 a. n.. and 4:1O p. ni Due to arrive from Old Beach 7:55 a. n1., and S:05 p. m.
 HOItOn-Interurban Railway. Trains leave Imperial daily. 9 a. m Arrive Holtville 9:35 a. m. Leave Holtville daily, l:3O D. III. Arrive Imperial 2:05 D. III.
The Imperial press., 1905-09-02
Prompt School Attendance

The following scholars who attended the Imperial School during the last term have been granted certificates on ac- count of attendance and department. None of them having been either ab- sent or tardy during the entire term, to wit John B. Meadows, Agnes Treshel, and Clara Treshel, living i'll Imperial Maud Adams, Lottie Adams, Eva Adams, Hester Adams and Raymond Adams, who live out by the Holtville Junction, and who came to school rain or shine and were always on time. Considering the weather for part of last winter and the condition the roads got into, we con- slider this a splendid showing. In the Van Horn school like certificates were issued to Ernest Van Horn, Fred Van Horn and Ray Van Horn. We did not get the report from the other schools in the Valley, but we dare say there is a good report from all of them.
 Water Measurements
 During the last two weeks the Colo rado river has fallen to practically low water stage and now for the next two or three weeks quite likely the amount of water discharging into Salton Sea will exceed the amount being diverted by the Imperial intakes. This will be because the flooded lands in Mexico and along New river will be draining off and the submerged area drying up. During the week from August l9 to August 26 the total flow of the Colorado declined from 1O,840 cubic feet per second on the 18th to ,240 on the 26th a total of $500 second feet. The last measurement of the river below the Imperial intakes was made on August 24 and gave the following results: Colo rado river at Yuma 7 300 second feet Colorado river three-fOurths of a mile below Imperial Heading 769 second feet Diverted by Imperial intakes, 6,73l cubic feet per second. At the measure IllSIlUS OI AldIlO dIlOl NEW .IINcIS HldU6 August p and 23 by Mir. Hardy, it was shown that 8,243 cubic feet per second was being discharged into Salton Sea. These measurements show simply that the fall in the water volume had not had time to reach us. The last meas urements made by Mir. Hardy were as follows: August 29, New river at Cal exico, 4,3O5 second feet; August 30, Alamo river at Redwood 2,5O9 second feet; waste from canal system 26O second feet. Total discharging into Salton Sea 7 ,074 second feet. To this must be added at least 1000 cubic feet per second being used in irrigation and it will be seen that there is still large excess of water at this end of the line over what is coming ill from the Colo rado river. It is simply the overflow draining off, that's all.
The Imperial press., 1905-09-02
High=Handed Outrage

For the protection of the public health and the benefit of the people living in
 incorporated cities and towns the laws of California provide for the care and cleanliness of the water supply used by the people of this state. It is made a crime punishable by heavy penalties for anyone to pollute the water sources from which any city or town draws it's supply, aid it is expressly forbidden that anyone shall drive livestock, hogs, cattle or other animals into any such water supply. In this Valley the only source of water supply is the canals. It is therefore all important that live stock be kept out of them, and especially is this true of the canals carrying the water supply to the towns. Imperial has taken every precautiOn to notify people to keep their livestock out of the Date ditch, as that is the one through which this town is supplied. For some time reports have been made of polu- ton of this stream in a small way, but as it was represented to be more acci- dental than criminal the people of Im- perial have borne with 1t. However, during the present week w. A. Van Horn and Arthur and Fred Fuller drove herd of more than 400 hogs in this ditch for several miles, simply herding them in the ditch and driving them along in the water. Such high handed outrage can not and will not be tolerated If these people imagine they can over ride the law with impunitv and jeopard- ize the health of this town as they please let them be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Let them not escape be- cause it is expensive to prosecute them. They are openly, knowingly and insO- lently breakers of the law. Bring them to justice. There is nothing that will more quickly produce typhoid fever germs than hogs polluting the drinking water. If anyone has typhoid fever in this town within the next three months these people will be directly responsible for it.. Such indecent, brutal disregard of our health and we'll being shall not be tolerated. We understand warrants are already issued for the arrest of these miscreants and we hope such an exam pie will be made of them as will serve to warn any others who may think they can pollute our water supply with inn punity.
The Imperial press., 1905-09-02

FOR ALE-First class milk COWS. In-
 quire of c. E. Scott, Holtville. je24tf
The Imperial press., 1905-09-02

FOR SALE-Jas. NJ. Cardiff has few
 more dairy COWS for sale. Will ex- change for good heavy mares. 3H
 miles northeast of Imperial. jy 1 If
The Imperial press., 1905-09-02

FOR SALE-Thirty head of COWS and heifers. A fine herd and will be sold at bargain if taken at once. George Whitlock, Imperial. aug 19 If
The Imperial press., 1905-09-02

FOR SALE-l6O head of hogs and 1
 head of mules address w. A. Young,
 HOltville. july 15-tf
The Imperial press., 1905-09-02

FOR SALE-16O acres choice land, we'll adopted to alfalfa; ? E miles from Heber, 5 Ii miles from Calexico, on one of the best laterals only 2 miles from Main canal: 50 acres under cul- tivation, fine crop this year. Terms 1a cash balance on easy payments run
 ming f or years if desired. Address "Rancher" Heber, Cal. may 6tf
The Imperial press., 1905-09-02

FOR SALE-Brood sows; good stock, bred and in good condition. W. II. Beckworth, at Blackington Ranch. aug l9 If
The Imperial press., 1905-09-02

FOR SALE-4O or 80 shares of water stock in Company No. l. Can be
 bought at bargain. Address No. 5 Grant St., Redlands, Cal. june10tf
The Imperial press., 1905-09-02

FOR LEASE-20O acres partly fenced,
 stocked with brood soWs. We'll im- proved, all in cultivation. Will lease
 for term of years. 30 acres in aIfa ia 50 acres ready to seed in alfalfa, bal ance Kaffir corn. Best references. re- quired. Apply to 1. L. Wilson. Ma tional Lumber Co.,, Imperial. aue26tf
The Imperial press., 1905-09-02

FOR SALE-A steam engine, II horse power with l5O feet belt. Inquire at this office.
The Imperial press., 1905-09-02
Davis in the Tolls

NJ. B. Davis, otherwise known as ''Bob' was arraigned before Judge Banta Tuesday morning and plead guilty to the charge of disturbing the peace at CaleXicO, whereupon Banta fined him-fve dollars Upon his re- turn to CaleXico he was arrested on the charge of jail breaking, and Judge Hoffman having returned home, the trial was set for Thursday. Meantime, Davis, who has a preference for being tried before Banta, made the necessary affidavit of prejudice on the part of Judge Hoffman and allegation that he would not receive fair and impartial trial if examination was held in his court, and appealed for change of venue. This Judge Hoffman refused on the ground that this was only pre- liminary hearing and not a trial. It is understood that the defense Davis will offer will be that there was no drinking water in the jail and as he was just re- covering from a three weeks debauch it was necessary for him to have water. It is expected that the preliminary hearing before Judge Hoffman will take place on Saturday.
The Imperial press., 1905-09-02

FOR SALE-Househ0ld goods, namely: Bed, springs, mattress, two cots, chairs,
 kitchen table, stand, lamp, tubs, gasoline stove. Apply at PRESS office.
The Imperial press., 1905-09-02

FOR SALE Two milk cows, one heller, one bull, one cali, 20 acres of Kaftir corn, now heading out. Also 75 to 100 hens and chickens. Place for sale Wesley Perry, Heber, Cal.
 sept 2tf
The Imperial press., 1905-09-02

FOR SALE-Brood sows; will farrow in
 October. Also milk cows Call on or address Fuller Bros. Heber. july 15tf
The Imperial press., 1905-09-02
HOItOn-Interurban RaiIwa,
IMPERIAL

Coronado Tent City now open. Virgil Patterson wants 300 stock hogs. Wanted-Eggs to set in incubators.
 IN I) E
The Colfax gazette. [volume] (Colfax, Wash.) 1893-1932, 1905-02-17

Highest price for poultry and hides.
r. n Moore
The Colfax gazette. [volume] (Colfax, Wash.) 1893-1932, 1905-02-17
THE INTERNAL REGIONS.
How They Are Depicted In BuddhfsM
and Islamfsm

The Internal regions of Buddhism
are horrible. They comprise a great
he'll and 1856 lesser hells. In these
hells, according to the sculptures Of
the Buddhist temples, men are ground
to powder and their dust turned into
pestled in a mortar. The hungry eat
redhOt iron balls The thirsty drink
molten iron.
Islamism says of the internal re
gions: They who believe not shall
have garments of fire fitted for them
Boiling water shall be poured on their
heads and on their skins, and they
shall be beaten with maces Of iron"
In the Scandinavian mythology. the
mythology of Odin and Thor, we are
told that ''in Nastrond there is vast
and direful structure, with doors that
face the north. 1t is formed entirely
Of the backs Of serpents, wattled to-
gether like wickerwork But the ser
pents' heads are turned toward the In
side Of the hall, and they continually
send forth floods of venom, In which
wade all those who commit murder or
fOrSwear themselves"
In the past Christian clergymen
loved to describe hell. The present
tendency, however, Is to avoid discus
sion of this place-to dwell upon the
gentler and more lovely side Of Chris
tianity.