The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-18


But one poem is vet to be written
When Cora Eats Corn or the Cob
Dubuque Telegraph-Herald
HUMOR OF TIE Day
HAS that girl next door to you stin
got her -parlor meiodeon?"
10, she exchanged it for cornet, m
But, gracious. if she plays the cornet
mot at ali its only half as bad. She
can't sing while she's playing the cornet." "
Philadelphia Press.
Brushley-what are you going to do
with that picture you Just hnished7
De Auber-T sold it to the proprietor Of
q swell cafe this morning.
Brushley-Wel, he evidently knows his
business.
Brushley-That picture is enough to
drive people to drink.-Chicago Daily
News.
s.Fhere goes Bjones the poet. That man
has absolutely no idea Of the value Of
How is that?'
Didn't I say he was a poet9'-1Eilwau-
kee Sentinel.
Deacon white-I see dat Bishop Potteh
sez dat a summon should not exceed 20
Rev. Gabaway way Johnsing-Hughi It's
gfttin' teh be a reg-lar fad now days
among de high chu'ch dignatohies to lay
demselves open teh changes OBJ heresyl-
Puck.
7 hear you're trying to invent new
YES. I'm at work at one with reflex
action
If I can't get it working right It win
blow the head of anybody that tries to
use it-"-Philadelphia Press.
Sweet Young Thing-Oh. this has been
a wonderful day-nly sixteenth birthday
I've had my first kiss from Arthtn- and
my last box on the ears from mammal
Translated for Tales from ''Meggendor-
fer Blatter."
"Dobber is fne artist, isn't hep
YES but he is not as good as Smeer."
the finest pen-and-ink sketches of any
Yes but srneer is fine at drawing Gus
toners. Dallas News
"of course. Tommy said the Sunday
school teacher. you'd like to be an angel,
sWell-er-yes'm. . replied Tommy, but
I'd like to wait until I can be a full
grown angel with gray whiskers. Phil
adelDhia Press.
Uncle Eben S'i but kin kin say @ fur e em DAT dat
dey ain made as much trouble in my
family as crap games an boss races. -
Washington Star.
'Do you think one meal a day Is
ssEnough for vhat?'
Enough for the average MANI"
GO and ask the average man and find
| out."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Dolly-Every time you call you make
love to me. I'm getting tired of it. How
can 7 induce you to stop it?
{Shn1lV-MaTTV
Leader
why don't you insist on abolishing the
trusts2" inquired the precipitate person.
ghum, political history is already too
full of sad cases of the abolisher abolish
ed. washington Star.
Prospective Guest-Do you set a good
table here?
Hotel Clerk--wen, rather. Why. folks
| come here perfectly healthy and go away
with the gout and dyspepsia--I4ife.
did you have any new experiences
during your visit to the cIty?" said the
NO replied Farmer No. ?. .T was
buncoed as usual Detroit Free Press.
II suppose said the friend Of the fam
ily, you win go into business and live
up to your fathers reputation
Not me-, replied the son Of the multi
millionaire beef packer Il shall go into
society and try to live it down. Chicago
News.
Johnny was a good boy. but he loved to
fight. He had been reproved over and
over again. and at last he had promised
to battle no more. That very evening he
returned from school with a cut cheek
and swollen nose.
John" said his mother, 'ayor promised
me this morning that you would not fight
7'But haven't been fighting, ma. This
is an accident
IAN accident2"
'rYes, ma. I was sitting on Tommy
Biggs. and forgot to hold his fest.''-
New York Tribune.
''so you enjoy seeing your son play
sFYes," answered Farmer Corntosse1
IF he ever gets into the habit Of working
pay yet Washington Star.
Nil1e-ors drowning. Patr'
Pat-Can't you 1oat2"
Certainly not, ye fuIe! A feIier has n
Brooklyn Life.
Some OF the eggs you sent me- said
the housekeeper, were bad
Well, ma am replied the dealer. ssthat
amt my fault; I amt no hen. .'52F5biisss--
deiphia Press.
do you think the Panama oana1 nm
be q good thing2'' VIII
IT don't know answered Mr. ro,,.+;-
Stax. There is so much Y,ra3,ee3sa,ll -
against graft that good things aTa 80 e-at
ting searcer every year. Wa si1f7,ss5fSSs- -
Star. eo1
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
EFrom the Philadelphia Record
You can't buy success at the bar