, 1905-11-09

1890
to do with agricultural mattCrs.'
oh. they haven't. ch? You Just wal.
Il minute and don't lie 50 ready 20 nla
fault.
The battlcfields won by or fore.
fathers Tith their vllor and blood are
shimmeTiug in the sunshine Of peace,
and from tI!em YOU have rcapcd thl
corn and pumpkins and sQuIshes l sec
OH every hand. From the field where
George Washington drew his sword il
defense of liberty come these fat hogs
From the field where Paul Jones laid
down his life that america might he
free You have driven This Durham huli
From the fed where Daniel Webster
shouted for freedom as lie pressed Cr
at the head OF his troops you have gath.
cred the Larry Rose potatoes-thcsC
mammoth carrotS-thcse''-
Stop. Mr.. iowscr! Stop!'
We'll, what is it,"
You must certainly change that.
don't want 10 find fault. but you can't
have Paul Jones fighting on land
And why the devil can't T.
Because he was Il sailor-a SEA
fighter. You have Daniel Webster at
the head of his troops. but he vas ley
er ever Il soldier. You'd be picked up
in n minute III those things"
by the Lord Harry. woman" said
Mr.. BowScr as he flushed red and
white, but are you telling me that
don't know as much as the average boy
ten years old:'
NO, In not. I'm simply telling yoC
that you have got things mixed UP.
You know better, of curse. but you
are sometimes absentmindcd."
Never in this world do l get things
mixed up. Never in this world am l
absentminded. Mrs. Bowser, you have
insulted me-
There was a bit of doubt in his tones
as he picked up his manuscript notes
again, iouriShed his arm IL went on:
"'When Robert Fulton arose in his
place in congress II declared that ag-
riculture was the bulwark of liberty
men smiled ut him, but you have only
to look around you today to see what I
truism he gave us. Look at those
thrashing machines, those steam boil
ers, those windmills. those reapcrs and
mowers and then turn
"Mr. Bowser, will you let ne say n
word?' interrupted Mrs. Bowser.
What is it nowf"
You are not quite right about two
things in that paragraph. Robert Full
ton never arose in his seat in ON
gress."
But l say he did"
Il don't see how he could, as he was
never n member of that body. You
probably meant to say Calhoun or
Clay"
Il probably didn't mean to say any
thing of the kind. This is the third or
fourth time you have flung insults into
my face, and / am done"
But you must not make such mis-
takes. You speak of agriculture being
the bulwark Of liberty, and then you go
on to mention nothing but manufac-
lures. If you make such slips as these
before q crowd you will be almost boot
ed at. Now go on. We will fill in new
names later on"
Madam, there will be 10 going on
and no filing" said Mr.. Bowser with
great dignity as he came out Of the
grand stand.
But why?"
Because 1 am no fool. I may be
baldheaded, but l know when l am in
suited"
you are a strange man. l was mere
ly telling You where you were wrong
about names and things"
You telling me where 1 was wrong!
Now listen to me. In half IN hour l
will prove that you don't know your
A B C's. I'll show you that am right
and you are wrong in every criticism
you have made"
"Well, let 1t go that I am wrong.
Can't we go riding on the car this
evening"
Don't attempt to dodge the issue,
madam. You have made certain state
ments. l go to disprove them. When
they have been disproved, which they
certainly will be. l shall suggest that
our respective lawyers have n little
talk"
With that he made her n stiff bow
and walked down the hall and out
doors. He had been very decided in
his talk. but at the same time he doubt
ed himself. He didn't like to go to his
family druggist, but when he failed to
find the butcher or the plumber in he
sauntercd into the drug store with n
remark about the weather and finally
got around to say:
Say, doc, just who and what was
Daniel Webster? 1 may have got him
mixed up with some one else"
"Why Daniel was n statesman" was
the reply.
"And who was Paul Jones?"
zone OF the greatest sea fighters
America ever had"
"And who-who''-- continued Mr..
Bowser. but the druggist interrupted
him with:
"BY thunder. BoMser. but whit do