Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-11-29

wagon" said Mrs. Bowser after ma
ture thought.
"Humph!"
"Well, then, what should do? What
could do?"
"You should and could make hero
inc Of yourself. 1t would be a grand
! opportunity"
"Oh, see. Then If you ever meet
mad dog you are going to play the
hero?"
"There will be no playing. 1 shall
do a natural and perhaps brave act,
and If the public insists on calling me
hero 1 shall have to submit to it."
"Well, what Is it?"
ION hearing that dreaded cry, Mrs.
Bowser-on hearing cry that has
more than once appalled, the stoutest
heart-I shall come to a halt shall
locate the animal. If he is coming my
way shall get ready for him. When
he is within thirty feet Of me, frothing
at the mouth and ravening for my de-
struction, shall throw up my hand
so. That will attract his attention In
an instant. AS soon as he begins won
dering what he Is up against will
fasten my eyes on his. He will stop
dead in his tracks. If he don't shy off
into the roadway and pass me he will
sit down and whine"
"That is. you think he will"
'"That Is, know he will. IF he sits
down l will slowly and gradually ap-
proach him, never for the fraction Of
second allowing my eyes to wander
from his. AS I draw nearer he will
SILVER and shake When I am within
three feet Of him he will howl In
lugubrious manner and fully realize
that his doom is sealed. will then
take my cane in both hands, like
soldier charging bayonets, and with
mighty jab l shall reach his brain by
piercing his eye. 1t will only remain
for the reporters to interview me and
for the Humane society to forward its
medal and complimentary letter."
"Mr, Bowser, If you weren't my hus-
band"-
| Look out, now! No further insultsv'
IF you heard any other man talk
ing that way you'd call him conceited
ass"
What! What! Whatv' he shouted
as he jumped up. Mrs. Bowser, 1 al
low no living person, man or woman,
to talk to me in that way. I have told
you what I should do In a certain
emergency. By what right do you call
me names and dispute that would do
itY
Because nobody ever heard of a
man going through all that perform
ance with mad dog. You might hold
up forty hands and he wouldn't stop.
You might look at him with ten eyes,
and it would do no good. / should say
the proper thing for you to do would
be to crawl under wagon or climb a
tree. Shan't we go over to Brady's and
get some ice creamY"
"Brady's! Ice creamv' he gasped as
he flushed red and white "You talk to
me Of Brady's and ice cream after in
sulting me fifty times over! By the
seven bobtailed cows that gave milk to
the children Of Moses
Then his feelings overcame him, and
he descended the steps and went out to
the gate to wonder what he should do.
He was standing there In an undecided
frame Of mind when a big, lubberly
dog that was trotting along on the OPP
posite side Of the street espied the
Bowser cat on the lower STEP He was
out for game, and he spotted her. He
came rushing across the street, and in
his impetuous haste he struck Mr.. Bow
ser's legs and brought him down, and
at the same instant hoodlum yelled
out mad dog!' The cat went racing
around the yard, with the dog a good
second, and they had both jumped over
Mr. Bowser twice before he could get
up. When he did reach his feet he
made rush for the house, taking the
steps two for one. Mrs. Bowser sat
there, but he saw her not AS soon as
he could get inside he shut and locked
the door and got to the second story.
The cat climbed tree, the dog pass
ed on, and ten minutes later the door
was unlocked, and Mr.. Bowser came
down.
II didn't see you raise your hand to
attract his attention nor yet look him
in the eye" remarked Mrs. Bowser as
demurely as she could.
Mr.. Bowser didn't reply. He didn't
notice her. After brief look around
for other mad dogs he marched down
the steps, out of the gate and up the
street He wanted her to think that
he was going to the nearest saloon to
fill up to the chin and then commit
four or five cold blooded murders.
M. QUAD.