Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-05-15

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violet lamps of hers in my direction I'd
| play Romeo When she got the you
| remember stage after the second wire WAS
| cut l did some reminiscent stunts myself
| that were real fine. After I'd helped to
! bull the wine market some more L was
| sorry that there was hardly anybody on the
premises. l was feeling fine and If n
| friend had happened in I'd have slapped
| him on the back and told him the story
/ of my past life. Gladys was feeling better,
too. and I'll admit the way she'd call me
| dear and dear old boy and sweet old
| Bill and nice old doggie with rapid
regularity real edifying. Finally we
| wound up and after one of the caravan
series brigands had separated me from
| twenty-seven fifty-the price of that was
| to-have-been real estate investments drift
ed home by slow stages.
Marital Telepathy.
The man who lives out kensington way
removed the stub of his third cigar from
his gloomy countenance, and shook his
head. I'm frank to admit he continued
| mournfully, that on previous occasions to
| the number of several or so I've been up
against this Washington carrier-pigeon-
service or whatever is used in this burg
Tor the TRANSMISSION OF KNOCKS. Dul must
say / didn't expect to butt into it on this
| occasion. And so when l got home and
found my better half meek and dignifed
with a suspicion of pink around the eyelids,
/ was plumb ignorant.
Good evening my dear" / remarked
swallowing the last of a mouthful of
cloves.
" Hello, Bill my better half replied
cordially. L so glad you're home. I've
been wondering all day whether that man
who doesn't know enough to pound sand.
bought any real estate.
Right there. gentlemen. is where I made
my fatal mistake. But what's the use of
talking. 1 looked wise for minute and
then allowed that while the deal wasn't
completed. it was as good as fixed.
" Did you enjoy your lunch?' she asked
after p minute.
Just $3.50, dear l answered. a whole
| lot rather have had it with YOU. And
that was the real simon pure truth and
no mistake.
What did you have? she inquired, being
a woman and curious.
"'Oh, l forget. Club sandwich, bottle of
beer and some simple little fixings on the
side l answered, lightly.
You didn't have one of those nippy
little cocktails you like so much, Bill. with
little caviar to push it along and some
half dozen on the shell to hold it DOWN.
About that minute ! began to see break
ers ahead, and l did the indignant glare.
She Had the Bill of Fare.
"'And then she continued, I guess you
didn't trife along with some radishes,
olives and celery. rendered pleasant and
palatable by a small line of old Sauterne,
and of course, after that you didn't settle
down to business with a cute little French
entree. backed up by a real substantial, but
delicate roast fowl fianked by all the hot
house vegetable delicacies of the season
and eliminating in some smelly cheese and
some black coffee. And as you only had a
club sandwich and a bottle of beer and
some simple little fixings on the side, or
course you didn't surround the foregoing
assortment of real food in several quarts
of high priced alcohol?
We'll, sir" said the man who lives out
Kensington way my better half had me
going when she called off that lunch OF
mine as if she had read the check. ! didn't
get a chance to say word, for she Kept
right on.
hasn't sense enough to pound sand and who
has more money than chorus girl-of
course he didn't get mellow on bottle of
beer. did he? And, of course, he didn't
have violet eyes and MISUNDERSTANDING
hair, and a bottled-in-bond nose, cleverly
touched up with rice powder, ana, or
course his complexion wasn't put on with
a spade and he didn't wear hand-em-
broidered waist and a tailor skirt,
and he wasn't so plastered over with near
diamonds that he looked like an April
rainbow. And likewise and similar. con
real tragedy tremble, he didn't call you
dear" and dear old Bnl'' and nice old
doggie" and a few other pet names IKE
that did he? And you're not a deceiving
immoral drunken, contemplate. heart
breaking. home-wrecking married man. are
your
Ho! for the Hudson.
AFTER that" continued the man who
lives out Kensington way. biting his fourth
cigar in half, came the deluge, and dur
ing the excitement wife left for her
mothers and sat up all night thinking it
where second-sight is not a general at
tribute of married women. On the level,
amt it the living limit? AS innocent a man
as ever lived, and at present under full
sail for the divorce court" And the man
who lives out Kensington way looked
around for consolation and sympathy.
"Sly old dog" chuckled the treasury
clerk You couldn't get away with that
yarn on wife and you surely can't work
1t on U.S."
Take that yarn elsewhere grinned the
man In the next seat Nothing doing
along the Wabash.
"c;ey old rascal" growled the settled
citizen across the aisle. Were not as YER
dant as we look, Bill and you'll have TO
frame up a better line of conversation than
that II you want 10 get the moist eye and
the warm palm from this trio"
Then the man who lives out kensington
way. who had been struggling with q rush
of blood to the head during the foregoing
sympathetic utterances. picked up his cor
nuIenf suit case. slammed his fifth chewed
cigar oa the floor. and made for the rear
door. =