Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-06-08

can enjoy your religion and victuals
as we'll as ever, but the seasickness
that the English channel gives you is
a permanent investment, like govern
ment bonds that you cut coupons off
Of I 'spect we shall be sick always
now, and worse every other day, like
chills and fever.
Say, boat on the English channel
does not roll, or pitch, at intervals,
like a boat on ordinary water, but it
does stunts. like broncho that has
been poisoned by eating loco-weeds,
and goes into the. air anc dives down
under, and shakes itself Ike a black
bass with hook in Its mouth, and
rolls over. like . trained dog, and sits
up on its hind legs and begs, and then
walks on its fore paws, and seems to-
jump through hoops, and dig for wood
chucks, and all the time the water
boils like 'pollinarius, full of bubbles,
and it gives you the hiccups to look
At it, and it flows every way at the
same time, and the wind comes from
the fourteen quarters at once, and
blows hot II you are too hot and want
a cool breeze, and If you are too cold,
and want q warm breeze to keep you
alive, 1t comes right from the north
pole, and you just perish in your
tracks. ="
!, Gee, but it is awful. When you get
seasick. on an ordinary ocean, you
know where to locate the disease, and
you know where 20 go for relief: and
when you have got relieved you know
that you are alive, but an English
channel seasickness is as different
from any other as an alcohol jag is
different from champagne drunk.
This English channel seasickness be-
gins on your toes, and you feel as
though the toenails were being pulled
out with pincers, and the veins in
your legs seem to explode, your arms
wilt like lettuce in front of cheap
grocery, your head seems to be struck
with a pi1e-driver and telescoped down
into your spine, and your stomach
feels as though you had swallowed a
telephone pole with all of the cross
arms and wires and glass insulators,
and you wish lightning would strike
you. Gosh, but dad was hot when
be found that he was sick that way,
and when we got ashore he wanted to
kill the first man he met.
He thinks that it is crime for |
] man not to understand the English |
language, and when he tells what he
wants, and the man he is talking to
,hrugs his shoulders and laughs, and
brings him something else, he wants
% pull his gun and begin to shoot
Up the town, and only for me he would
nave killed people before this, but now
1e takes it out in scowling at people
who do not understand him. Dad
seems to think that if he cannot make
! man understand what he says, all
le has to do is to swear at the man,
tut there is no universal language of
so the more dad swears the
more the nervous Frenchman smiles
md acts polite .,.-..-
: think the French people are the
,olitest folks l ever knew. If al
7renchman had to kick person out of
loors, he would wear felt slipper.
md after he had kicked you he would
,lace his ha-d on his heart, and bow.
md look SO sorry, and hurt, that you
would want to give him tip. Il
0, but this tipping business is what
s breaking dads heart. think III,
T.
ATE to rob dad of two or three dol
ars a day, by pocket pickiLs, or sneak
hieving, he would overlook it, and
ay that as long as it was one of the
ustoms of the country we should
lave to submit to it, but when he i