davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-04-09

The reception will he held in the Sun day school room of the church. Hours S-11 D. m.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-04-09

Mrs Frank Elmore went last night night to Pensacola to take party or young people to see the ships. The
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-04-09

your good shopping judgment by taking advantage of it.
 Mattings by the yard 2Oc, 221ac, 25c
 30c and up to :. .. .... .5Oc
 We show the largest stock in town, offer the lowest prices, and have the best workmen to lay it free for you. We are anxious for you to test that statement at any time.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-04-09

This IS a very rare Mating bargain, and you will show
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
THE ~ALLlGAToR's JAWS.
They VIII Open af You stick Youu
Fingers In His Eyes.

They VIII Open af You stick Your
Fingers In His Eyes.
IF ever you have the luck to be
caught by nm alligator put a finger I'm
Zach eye" says an old Australian hunt
err. THAT will have the effect of max
ing him open his jaws. and then you
can make the most of your opportunity.
There are several known instances OF
the escape OF natives by that means.
AlligatorS prefer their food high, 30 the
chances arc if you are caught you will
be deposited OH the bottom somewhere.
I heard OF one native escaping even
then. When crossing the rivers the
natives carry stout sticks, so IL en-
countered by an alligator they can
ward him off by showing a stick down
his throat.
THAT alligators have enormous
strength 1 have evidence besides my
own experience. At Port Essington a
buffalo was drinking in a stream when
an alligator nailed 1t by tho head and
drowned It. Soon afterward q horse
was caught while drinking Mt the same
spot. 1t dragged the alligator about
forty yards before the brute let go.
Mr.. Robinson anchored the body OF
a horse n little distance out from a
cliff close to his camp. In due time he
had his chance and shot a fifteen foot
alligator"
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
THE LASTING sRlcks
GaOc Made, These Cakes OF nalSea
Clay Arc Good FOR AN Tinae.

Gaoo Made, These Cakes OF HsalSea
Clay ARE GOOD For All Tinae.
From the time the clay Is dug out
OF Its bed until It finds its permanent
place In some buildings walls as a
brick It Is handled not less than n hun
dred times and by more than n score
OF different individuals.
Take into account the persons and
processes directly and indirectly In.
terested In brickmaking, masonry
building and inhabiting such buildings
and the human mind Is bafied by az.
ures reaching into the trlllions-and a
trillion is written 1000, 900. 100000!
Once made. a brick is practically In.
d~estructible. Nearly every brick that
has ever been made by man from the
beginning OF time 10 still in existence
OH this earth. The men who made and
aid them and who directed these
operations have long since been gath
cred into dust. Some OF them have
doubtless contributed in their Edics to
the making of more bricks. But the
steadfast and enduring square Of
baked clay persists and will until the
heavens and earth are shrIvelcd like
u scroll.
Upon inscriptions I'm bricks our enrli-
est knowledge OF human history de
ponds. Kings whose glory has passed
80 utterly that all but their names
have persisted still owe the perpetual.
tion of these names to n mark In the
perdurablc brick.-Chicago Journal.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
SYDNEY SMITH.
A. - Country PArOo ana 40 a Peace.
nelkkN@ Asa9sstrate.

/ ~. 1eN9
For twenty years Sydney Smith re-
mafned In Yorkshire. and, though his
Ideas of clerical duty were not those
OF today, yet II will not be denied that
he was a vigorous country parson, en-
tering into the pursuits and the daily
life Of his humble neighbors and doing
his utmost to improve their lot. His
descriptions of his life and surround
jngs at Foston are among the most de
nghtful Of his humorous writings. Ev-
cry N has heard Of Annie Kay, the
little country girl, ''mndc like n mile
stone" who. christened Bunch, "be-
came the best butler In the county,"
of the rawboned riding horse Calamity,
which flung me over his head into a
ne~ighboring parish as IL I Ind been n
shuttlecock. and I feel grateful that 1t
was not into a neighboring planet" OF
the ancient green chariot named the
Immortal, "at which the village boys
cheered and the village dogs barked;"
Of his four draft oxcn-Tug and Lug,
Haul and Crawl-of which 'Tug and
Lug took to faintlng md required
buckets Of sal volatile and Haul and
Crawl to lie down In the mud AS II
magistrate Sydney Smith became ia
nous for making up local quarrcls and
for dealing gently with poachers. The
game laws, like II good W'hlg, lie could
not abide, and 1t stifScd his honest
wrath to reflect that 'for every ten
pheasants which Huttered In the wood
one English peasant WINS rotting In
jail" Like Charles Kingsley Mt Everg-
ley In after years, he refrained from
shooting. "If you shoot" he sold, "the
squire and tho poacher will both con
slider o as their natural enemies, and
I thought 1t more clerical to be Mt peace
with both."-Rev. Canon Vaughan In
I1ongman's Magazine.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
The Frat English I,ehtno,...

1t Is to the Romans, who left 80
many marks OF their presence In Eng
land. that Britons owe the first light
house. This was, and Is still, the Pha-
ros watch tower to the south OF the
keep Of Dover castle. This is remark
able rs the only remaining specimen
Of Roman work In the castle and az
the earliest piece OF regular masonry
nov existing In Great Britain. 1t con-
sists OF n casing OF 1ints and tufa,
with bonding courses Of large Roman
tiles filled with smaller stones. Its
shape IL octagonal outside, but square
Inside, thci Inner room measuring four.
teen feet and the walls being ten foot
thick. Repaired again and again, 1t
was used ut one time az n government
Observation-Disclosures Chronicle.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
ARTIFICIAL FLIES.
The Peculiar n~usineas of the Farmer
Who Raises Them.

The Peculiar BusinesB OF the Farmer
Who Raises Them.
81 raise files on my farm-artincial
flies" he said. smiling. II am, In fact,
an artificial fly farmer.
That confuses you, doesn't it2 Yet
1t Is simple enough. I raise birds that
give those little delicate bright feath-
ers that compose ishermen's flies.
That is all.
THE finest birds I raise are golden
~pheasants. You have seer salmon
dies? You know their beautiful top
pings? Well, those toppings car only
be got from the golden pheasant's
crest.
AT a certain time OF the year I
gather my golden pheasants around
me. I take II between my knees. 1
pluck out his crest. How mad he
gets! 1 wrap the crest in silver paper.
And 80 I go on till every bird has been
plucked. DO you know what 1 get for
these crests? I get $3.50 apiece for
them.
IL raise mynahs, fnches, maliards,
Jays and green parrots. 1 supply ten
fly makers with all tho feathers they
can use."-Philadelphia Bulletin.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
POINTED

The poorest thing you can offer a
friend Is an excuse
Two things a man puts off-buying a
lot in n cemetery and making n will.
1t Is not enough to admit that you
nHe n fool. You must try to get over 1t.
After n man fails to make money his
wife loses all awe Of his bunch OF Office
keys.
When n boy helps his mother with
the dishes, how do the other boys find
1t out?
There Is no greater falIacy In the
world than that sense comes with aga
or experience.
When you think yourself over In the
middle of the night YOU give mighty
poor satisfaction.
1t is going to make n mighty poor
jam for your crust In poverty to eat 1t
remembering what you spent on fool
ishness In youth.-Atchison Globe.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
AN ODD REVENGE.
The VISIT Hans ChPistfaa AnaexseM
Paid His Ola Dean.

Among the many amusing things
Hans Christian Andersen treated us
to was a little anecdote which, Gu
rioasly enough. since Il was 30 very
characteristic of him, he omitted from
his autobiography. he mentions In
his "I.ife's Story" that during the
autumn Of 1874 he was n daily guest
of the Danish royal family MT Fohr,
and was on terms OF intimacy both
with them and with the family of the
Duke OF Augustenborg. He told us
ghe following Incident about his stay
there: 1t had been one OF the mortinca-
lions of his younger days that tho
dean Of the diocese, who In his day had
confrr' i'm, had treated him badly,
and p affront on him Of placing
him, boy, down in the bottom
Of the among the curate's poor
candidate. although he properly bc-
longed up above, among the deans
own. He CHANGED to hear that this
man now held a post In the island of
Fohr. $50 1 asked the king" said An
derscn, III I might for once have one
OF the royal carriages, with conchman
and footman In red livery, the same as
the royal family themselves used,
placed at my disposal, to pay n visit.
The king smiled and said. With pleas
urc.' SO 1 drove out In the royal
carriage, with panached horses, and
coachman and foothnan, to pny a visit
to my old diocesan dean. Tho carriage
waited outside while 1 was in the
house. That was my revenge" It
seems to ME that we have Andersen's
whole self, his romantic bent, his old
humiliations and his vehement, half
childish greed Of honor, In this little
story.-George Brandes In Contempt.
rary Review,
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
BORN FOR A LAWYER.
why Ills Mother Recommended HIrr
10 Colonel InGeRsoli.

Why Ills Mother ReSommendcd Hlm
TO Colonel Ingorsoii.
Among the stories which Colonel
Boil Ingersoll delighted to tell was the
following, says the writer OF Amer
leafs Most Popular Mem"
While studying law with n firm out
west the colonel found himself alone In
the office one day. He was interrupted
by the entrance OF n raw boned, sharp
featured countrywoman, who ambled
into the room leading a freckle faced,
watcry eyed ten-year.oh boy by tho
hand.
"Alr you the lawyer" she began.
On being answered In the Affirmative
she went or to a that she had
brought her boy Jim to town for the
purpose Of binding him out at the
"lawyerln' trade She was morally
certain, she averrcd. that Jim was a
born lawyer and that all he needed was
Il chance.
but, madam" objected the colonel,
The Is entirely too young to begin the
study OF law"
Too young, indeedv' shifted the fond
mother contemptuously. you don't
know Jim. He was born for a law
yer"
Much amused, the colonel asked her
on what grounds she based her hopes
of Il future at the bar for her darling
child.
why" said she, when he was only
seven years old he struck work, and
he wouldn't do another lick IL lie got
killed for 1t. When he was eight he got
sassy and put on more airs than n
prize horse at n country fair, md now,
Lor' bless nc, he jest freezes on to
everything he can lay his hands on"
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
SIR s II REYNOLDS.

The Famous Painter was the Son
OF n D~evonshaRe Rector.
Sir Joshua Reynolds was born at
Plympton, four miles from Plymouth,
In Devonshire, In 1928. His father, rec
tor Of the grammar school, early train
ed him in classical studies, intending
his son to be mn ~apothecary, but he dis
played such an inclination for drawing,
diligently copying the prints which fell
in his way, that tho father yielded and
sent him to London as a student Of art.
After two years he returned to Devon.
shire and established himsS.f as n nor.
trait painter in Plymouth, where he
was taken up by Commodore Keppel,
who. being appointed to the Medlter-
ranean station, invited the young paint
er to accompany him In his ship, the
Centurion. Thus he was able to -isit
Rome, spending two years there in
very close study, especially Of the
works of Raphael and Michael Angelo.
1t was while painting in the corridors
of the Vatican that he contracted a
cold which brought on the deafness
that afterward afflicted him during tho
rest of his life. Leaving Rome, he WIS.,
tied Parma. where he fell under Cor.
reggio's influence, then Florence and
Venice, in the latter city studying the
works Of the grIu. colorists. On his
way home he stopped IN Paris. making
acquaintance With the work Of Ru-
bens. Arrived il London. he settled In
st. Martins lane. and painted a por-
trait Of his patron. Commodore then
Lord Keppel, which laid the foundation
Of his fortune. Later he established
himself in Leicester square, where his
house, Al, may still be seen. st. Mich.
olas.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
Why Touoh-me-not.

The columbine, g%eranium and lark
spur we think OF together because they
are all named after birds-thc dove,
the crane and tho lark. Tho meaning
Of geranium Is cranes bill,' and II
you notice the seed pods Of a geranium
you will sec that they do look like the
long bill of n crane The touch-me-not
gets Its name from a popularity Of the
seed pod, too, but not n popularity Of
appearance. 1t Is the pod you must
not touch, for II you do 1t will burst,
and out will fly the seeds.-St. Mich
0Iaa
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
C~Iinton's chrysanthemum Show.

The annual Chrysanthemum Show
will be given by the Ladies Aid Society
of the Presbyterian Church from Mo-
vember 9th to 18th. A strong effort
will be made to make the ~chrysanthe-
mum exhibit this year better than ever
before, and ladies of all denominations
are cordially invited to exhibit and o n
tribute their prizes. Two prizes will be
offered: one for the finest collection of
flowers, and one for the most perfect
single flower in an exhibit of twelve
That is, the exhibitor is asked to con-
tribute twelve flowers in order to COM
pete for the single flower prize.
AS usual, a cordial welcome will be
given to one and all who attend the ba-
a Competent chairmen, with COM
petent assistants are in charge of the
various departments, and the bazaar
bids fair to be n of the most success
full ever produced by the ladies'.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
HOMES FOR THE DELEGATES.

On the occasion of the meeting of the
Laurens Baptist Association with Mt.
Olive Church, Tuesday, September 26,
delegates will be assigned as follows:
Beaverdam-W. w. Cooper.
Belleview-Jno. Anderson.
Bethabe ra-J. N. Jones, Sr.
Beuiah-J. p. Jones.
Chestnut Ridge-N. E. Cooper.
Clinton-B. l.. Henderson,
Cross Hill-B. M. Owings.
Durbin-W. l.. Cooper.
Friendship. N. 0'Dell.
Harmony Julius Knight.
Highland Home-Doc Hughes.
Holly Grove-Jno. Wrenn.
Lanford-. Mrs. j. r. Smith.
Langston-J. N. Jones, Jr.
Laurens, First-W. r. Washington.
Laurens, Second-Mrs. Lizzie Wash
ington.
Mountville Andy Culbertson.
Mt. Gallagher Strawder Crawford.
Mt. Pleasant Mrs. Anna Arnold.
Princeton Mrs. G. C. Cooper.
Poplar Springs-Mrs. Susie Boland.
Prospect-D. A. Goddard.
Rabun-Jno. Culbertson.
Union-James Jones.
Watts Mills-Martin Wells.
Warrior Creek-J. O. Martin.
Waterloo-Jno. Knight.
w. r. WASHINGTON,
For Committee.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
Kecp serene.

When you come to think OF It, most
OF us do have n hard time keeping our
selves I'm order, temper, nerves, selfish
ness and longlngs. ambitions and de
sircs all Insisting to have n hearing,
and down steps wisdom and orders con-
troll. OF course there are the cool head
ed. intellectual people to whom self
sacrifice nothing, md little they
know Of the fight OF the other passion
nte hnlf. Ill health and discomfort are
the fruits OF the bnttlc. Keep serene,
say, ~ shall control myself md be q
cheerful philosopher" md all Will go
we'll.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
Lovers Of Coffee.

The London Globe doubts whether
there Is anywhere in the world n place
more addicted to coffee than the little
island of GroiI, about nine miles dis
tant from Iorient. The customs rec
ords show that the annual consumption
OF coffee In the island Is about 10000
pounds. Now, the population is $500,
and. az he mon pass practically their
whole lives nlont as senmen, this largo
quantity must be consumed by about
5000 women, children md old men.
1t works out ut thirty pounds a head
per annum.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
rho snlt In tho Sea.

Tho Pythngoreans held that the sea
was salt by reason OF the tears shed by
Kronos, father of Zeus. According to
the old Hcbraic tradition, the ocean
WINS originally n great body Of fresh
water, but which was made salt by the
abundant tears OF the fallen angels,
One sect of Buddhists believe that
Lots wife-that Is to say, he" pillar OF
salt" which was oncc the wife of the
humble gentleman named above-iies
Mt the bottom Of the ocean in a certain
narrow strait M that once each year
the waters Of ell ocean flow through
that narrow channel. The Talmudic
writer's sny that 1t was never salt until
Moses wept repentance after breaking
the tables of stone.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
Speak Good OF the Living.

Few will be found to dispute tho
spirit Of the Old Latin proverb "De
mortuis nil nisi bonum." Is 1t not q
pity, however, that we nre all 80 In
clined to offer fulsome adulation Of the
dead. about whom, while living, moth.
ing was too vile to say? This 10 not to
be understood as criticising unfavor.
ably tho natural tendency to forget
the faults and foibles and to remem-
Der only the virtues Of the people who
have gone on before" but 1t does
seem too bad that more even justice,
greater liberation and charity can.
not be shown to the living.-success.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
A HIT OF TrNrnlnAinn-

The difficulty OF avoiding "howisrs"
when one Is Transmitting from English
into s"cn n language Is that OF tho
M!Gmac Indians of Nova Scotia must
be very great, n Y the London News.
We hear from the Bible society Of a
curious case. In the first edition OF
st. Matthew in Micmac the translator
found when he came to revise 1t that
I'm chapter xiv, Z, instead Of Nation
shall rise against nation" he had writ
ten, "a pair OF snowshoes shall rise
up against a pair Of snowshoes." And
yet there was only one letter misprint-
ed-naooktukumiksijlk In nation), hav-
ing been displaced by naooktakumiksi-
jik In s~nowshoc).
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
The CoIonei's Waterloo.

Colonel John M. Fuller, of Honey
Grove, Texas, nearly met his Waterloo,
from Liver and Kidney trouble. In a
recent letter, he says: II was nearly
dead of these complaints, and although
| tried my family doctor, he did me nc
good; SO got a so cents BOTTLE Of your
great Electric Bitters, which cured me.
earth, and thank God who gave YOU
the knowledge to make them" Sold
and guaranteed TO cure Dyspepsia, Bill
iousness and Kidney Disease, by
The Laurens Drug Co. and Palmetto
Drug Co. at so cents a bottle.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
Strikes Hidden Rocks.

When your ship of health strikes the
hidden rocks of Consumption, Pneu-
monia,. etc, you are lost, If you don't
get help from DR.. Kings New Discov.
cry for Consumption. j. w. McKinnon.
of Talladega Springs, Ala, writes: 1T
had been very III with Pneumonia ur-
der the care Of two doctors, bur was
getting no better when I began to take
DR.. Kings New Discovery. The first
dose gave relief and one bottle cured
me-" Sure cure for sore throat, bron-
chitis, coughs and colds. Guaranteed
at Laurens Drug Co. and Palmetto
Drug Co. Price so cents and 81. 90.
Trial bottles free.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
Startling Mortality.

Statistics show startling mortality,
from appendicitis and peritonitis. To
prevent and cure these awful diseases,
there is just one reliable remedy, DR..
Kings New Life Pills. M. Flannery, of
ID Custom House Place. Chicago. says:
and Biliousness." Is cents at Laurens
Drug Co. and Palmetto Drug Co.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20

There's only II good thing about
thnt young puppy that came to see you
last night" said the irascible father.
land That Is he's healthy"
I'm surprised to hear you admit
that much" replied the dutiful daugh-
ter.
II wouldn't except for the fact that
wiIrn you met him In the hill last
night I heard you shy, oh, George,
how cold -FOUR nose Isl"
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20

South Africa Ia the homo Of q species
Of earthworm, a creature closely re-
lated to our common angleworm, who
is not only n giant among the denizens
of the soil, but which Is reputed to
have q taste for human blood. There
arc two species Of this uncanny wig
1ler-one OF a dark red color and the
other almost black. They are larger
than ones finger and from three to
four inches in length.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
A Bold Girl.

Her Mother-Yf you marry him you
need never expect me to come to see
you.
Daughter-Wll you put that into
writing7
What forT'
q" want to give It to Fred as n wed
ding present"
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
Tic Wall Street Nvnx.

~Jobson-You bought the stock on
your brokers' advice. didn't you? Dob
son-Ycs: he gave me four excellent
reasons why 1t should go up. Jobson-
what hns he to say now? D~obson-IIe
has given me four equally good reasons
why IL went down.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
w. L. BoYd. Laurens. s. C.

Who sells the l.. e. M. Paint says to
every church, that Longman g. Martinez
give a liberal quantity of paint when
ever a church is painted with l.. e. M.
Paint. 4 gallons L. M. Paint and 8
gallons Of Linseed Oil will paint a mod
crate sized house. 6-2t
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
Mutual concersion.

Trcd-So you are really going to
marry Tint young widow, oh? Joe
Yes. Frcd-She tells me you have
promised to give up smoking. Joe
Yes; sort OF mutual sacrifice, az 1t
were. She agreed to give up her
weeds IL 1 would give up mine.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20

The Parson-Well, my boy, you seem
in n great hurry to get to your school
today. Boy-Yes, sir. Bill Jones is
going ter gilt n bird OF n licking this
morning for playing hockey, and I
don't want to miss it.-Puck.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
GA m %
Bears the The Kind You Have Alsays Bouab
signature Il &1HAIz<m
Notice.

All persons holding claims against the
estate of DR.. F. G.. Fuller, deceased,
are required to present the same within
n month from this date, to the under
signed. F. M. FULLER and
A. p. FULLER, as execu-
tors of DR.. f. G. Fuller, deceased.
September 9th, 1906.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
Conao1afion.

A good denl OF the consolation offer.
ed In the world is about MS solacing MS
the assurance OF tho Irishman to his
wife when she fell into the river-'You
will hnd ground Mt the bottom. my
dear"
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-09-20
Fnrca n1 HABIT.

IA thousand stars are looking down
ON you this nisht! said the poetical
young man to the girl.
And h unconsciously put her hands
up to arrange the position of her hat.