The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1905-06-24
J1mmleboy In Tvustlamd
BY JOHN KENDRICK BANGS
In Piqsburo,

|
and Jimmieboy had driven along for
a few minutes.
mo, SIR said Jimmieboy, politely.
Il never have. I don't know that l
ever heard of it before, either. Is it
on the map?"
why, of course it is on the map"
laughed the old cab driver, but amt
always visible for the smoke. It's
about the smokiest place in all crea-
ton, Pigsburg is. Smells like London,
and looks like-never mind what it
looks like. You're too young to know
about such places, but it amt neither
of them. It's one O. the incest best
hearted, most artistic cities in the
world. We've got more art to the inch
in Pigsburg than you'll find in any
other town in the Union. We love mu-
sic and art here SO much that the boy
who can't whistle 'Parsifal and 'Hia-
watha with mis- eyes shut amt consid-
cred decent, and for pure anthropy
there amt our equal anywhere. Only
we are sooty. Why, only last week a
delegation of Pigsburgers called on the
president and he wouldn't receive 'em.
Said he'd had trouble enough over
|
what he thought they was, but it was
only soot and while they was standin'
outside in the rain wonderin' what to
do, it all washed off and the president
asst 'em in to lunch The old man
turned to cluck at his horse ana then
he resumed. Amt related to the Iron
Pig, be your
| NO" said Jimmieboy. I'm just
travelling through Trustland, and I've
stopped in to see him. How is he to-
day."
faint seen the ticker yet" said the
cab driver. Il guess he's all right.
The only throuble with him is that he
suffers from what the doctors call
Fluctuation of the Figger. It's symp-
tom of dropsy, 1 believe. He has his
ups an downs like most everybody
else, only he's a little extremer than
the others. Last year he was down to
S11a, and nearly froze to death. Then ne
got up to 371s. l believe he is f1utterin'
around in the twenties somewhere to-
day. Kind O. feverish, they tell me,
all of which was Greek to Jimmieboy,
because the little lad had never studied
medicine, and didn't know whether it
ties or not-although how on earth
anybody could be feverish at SO low a
temperature did puzzle MIN. He knew
enough to think that rather strange.
Steel Stock for Cab Fare
1--WE all love him though" continued
| the cab driver. I'VE get most of our
smoke from him, and once in while,
,-fio anil ,lxy no
opens up and has the city nall gold
plated and buys set of Dickens or
| Shakespeare for the county Jail. He's
a scientific anthropist, the Iron Pig is,
and, between you and me, if it wasn't
for him, 1 don't believe there'd ever
been any Pigsburg."
And then the cab stopped for they
had arrived at the mansion of the Iron
Pig. Jimmieboy fastened to alight,
but the cab driver held him back.
wait until 1 get my Cinderella he
said.
Your wnat?" asked Jimmieboy,
puzzled.
MY CINDERELLA" said the cabman.
Its to keep the cinders off. We use
'em out mere instead of umbrellas
Whereupon the cabman raised his
cinderella, and escorted Jimmieboy to
the front door,
Here's your two-fifty," said jim
nieboy
| What" said the driver, smile or
happiness spreading over his face. DO
you pay CASH."
| Certainly said Jimmieboy. Why
"Oh, nothin', only if I'd known you
| To
have charged more'n a quarter" said
the overjoyed driver. Il had an ldea
YOU were goin' to pay ME in steel COM
mon, just like everybody else does, ana
I raised We to cover possible drop in
the market. They do say that 1eller
Lawsons loose again"
And, with a snap of his whip and
chirrup to his jaded steed, the CAB
driver was off.
| Whom do you wish to see" asked
a flunky at the door.
! THE Iron Pig said Jimmleboy.
I'm travelling through Trustland and
What you want to see him about,
demanded the flunky. IF it's about
libraries you'll have to come back on
Tuesdays. If you're a hero, Friday is
the day. If you're small country COL
lege. he'll see you tomorrow
Il don't want a library, amt nero
| and I don't know what you mean by
small country college. I'm in charge
of the big bureau in Uncle sam
| house,
"Oh, why didn't you say so before
said the funky apologetically. come
right in. We heard you were COM
ing and I think you'll find everything
in readiness. Step this way, sill"
Very much impressed with the cor
diality of the funky, now that ne
knew who he was, Jimmieboy follow
ed him and in a moment was ushereo
into the charming presence of the IRON
Pig. The latter was a very kindly
looking old fellow, with glasses on MS
nose. He was singing softly as JIM
| mieboy entered, and the little ballad
as Jimmieboy caught it, ran something
| like this:
"Oh, Monday is the day that 1 devote
to making mum,
And Tuesday is the day wnen pesin
! to have my fun.
found a hundred libraries each tues
day in the year,
And Wednesday is the day when re-