The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1905-06-29
SHE HAD THE PROOF.


Washington Star: When little Mrs.
Mercyonnus returned TO Washington
from her honeymoon she lost no time
In hurrying around TO the home -of
an old married woman friend for ad-
vice and consolation. The old married
woman friend. that IL TO say. was all
OF twenty three years OF age. and she
had been married for fully half "A year.
Little Mrs. Mcrcyonnus looked very
nervous and perturbed.
What I'm the name OF land sakes
alive ais you?" OF course inquired the
old married woman friend and girihood
pal when she saw the distressed state
OF little Mrs. Mercyonnus. You are
looking dreadful. what 10 it?''
We'll. guess you would look dread
ful too, IL your husband made such a
terrible uproar In his sleep that you
couldn't sleep for Ave or six nights
running" replied little Mrs. Mercyon-
"oh. yuu mean that the poor man
snoresg" inquired the old married wom-
an frie-' sympatheticaliy. yet with
broad smile.
well. I suppose that Is what Il 10
called: but snoring seems TOO MILD a
term TO denomlnate the-the-the
sounds that Jack makes" said Mrs.
Mercyonnus.
But" sageiy asked the old married
woman friend. why In pities sakes
don't you turn him over when he shores
30 that you can't sleepg"
Turn him over! repeated MITE. Mer-
cyonnus, mystihedly. Now. what on
earth can the woman mean? Turn
him overt That sounds az II he were a
bug-or-or something"
'Turn--him-over-t exactly
what mean. and nothing else" Inn
pressively replied the old married
woman OF all or half a years expert
ence with a husband creature.
But. dear me-" hopclessly remarked
Mrs. Mercyonnus. ''the great hulking
creature weighs 200 pounds. How In
the vide world would be able to turn
him over?"
ron. you don't have to literally lift
him up and turn him over. remarked
the settled married woman or twenty
three. mo such thing. OF course not.
All you've got to do IL 20 give him lit
tie poke or shake. you know-Just sur
ficient 10 half awaken him-and tell
him TO turn over. and he'll do IL with
out coming TO his senses at all. Hus-
bands get To do that quite automatic
caIiy, you know. when they're trained
that way. But you'd better begin
training him that way Immediately.
But I don't want to wake Jack up.
poking or shaking him." argued Mrs.
Mercyonnus. He says that when once
he wakes up ut night It's so hard for
him TO get 10 sleep again"
Now, you do as tell you" peremp-
torily commanded the old married
woman, II know what I'm about. ]
had the same trouble with Edward.
But now I have merely to touch him
on the shoulder when he's snorins-and
he does snore. too. something dreadful,
although he denies u Etrenuously---and
~. oh ON La "A
lamb. without ever waking UP. And
men cantor. anyhow, they don't
snore when they're laying on their
sides. It's only when they're lying on
their backs. the poor he!piessly old
things, that they Snore."'
Mrs. .iercyonnus decided to put the
Lesson To the test that very night. pFo-
vided. OF course. her husband again
snored hard enough TO keep her awake.
He did snore hard enough TO keep
her awake that night. and she rose on
one elbow and nosiced by the dim re-
Election OF the electric light shining
through the window, that he was
SPRAYED out on the fiat OF his back.
SO she reached out n very soft and
gentle hand and touched him on the
Shoulder. Then she waited for him TO
turn over. II didn't happen. He went
right on snoring harder than ever.
She touched him on the shoulder
20 his ear and murmuring. Jack"
Nothing doing. Jack was running the
biggest saw mill south OF Michigan.
and he was running * for keeps.
'rd Just like to know what Minnie
meant by telling me such nonsense"
murmured little Mrs. Mercyonnus 10
| herself He has not even moved.
Turn him overt. might just as well
try TO turn the house over Jnckl"
! And she gave him n little harder shake
on the shoulder this time. and placed
her lips still closer to his ear. The
only noticeable effect was that he
| struck n knot OF lignum vitae hardness
and resistance that Mrs. Mercyonnus
actually fancied that the dishes In the
pantry ratified with the sound.
However she was there ~ try out
! that turn hlm-ove thing to It's nnai
issue. and she gave him another prod
and shake. This time he struck half
a dozen big knots In bunch. Then he
slowly quit snoring. gurgled n lot In his
| throat, opened his eyes and grunted-
I but he didn't turn over so that any
body could really notice IL.
What r. it?" he inquired. hoarscly
and drowslly. What the dickens is
coming OF he.eT"
Jack" whispered his wife. with the
idea OF not fully awakening him.
you're snoring dreadfully. deed you
are--dreadfuilyl can't sleep n wink"
"Huh7 Ne snore? Aw. cut Il out
forget g." grunted the unturnnble one.
Never snored In my life. Sure thing.
Dunno how, Would wob-ug- -glick-er-
heu--" and then ne gurgled himself
into still profounder snoring siumber.
But he hadn't turned over any.
Jack" resolutely whispered little
Mrs. Mercyonnus. giving him another
shake, with the idea OF mailing him
before no got too far away into
dreamiand. won't you pui-leeze-just
10 let mo sleep oh such n teenchy lit
tic bit--won't you pul-leeze turn over
like good old thing?"
This time he arrived at something
like genuine consciousness, He rolled
over on his side I'm an elcphantino sort
..f nah N n