The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-03-11

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Orumbling Customer-Wbo..
reason you raise the price OF Won, 80 ,-
. s,' month"; DeaIer-welL we en1
y. people keep on paying it-cbicago
Don't be ashamed Of vro-t ..,.
nee HDen. Sometimes de man VIII
de wheelbarrow ain got nigh a. mne !,
trouble as de man wifi de automobile -
Washington Star.
1T is difficult for Deonla 70 ..
.ney really deserve in this life III
- difiicult for some Of US" answered
MISS Cayenne; Others have 10 dodge -
Washington Star.
speilbinder-I've nailed seventeen
uinerent lies during this campaign
voice from Audience-Have You got
union carpenters card, culls-I.ouis.
Vile Courier Journal
They've added another man 70 the
force working on the new postofice
building rs. that so?v Yes one
OF the boys employed became Of age
yesterday.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Money doesn't make the man. said
the high-browed and naughty youth.
NO." answered Senator Sorghum. 1t
doesn't make the man. but sometimes
1t makes the candidate. Washington
Star.
Wanted a Circus: The Chlld-Are
you the trained nurse mamma said was
coming? The Nurseries. dear; I'm
the trained nurse. The Child-Let's
see some Of your .trlcks.-Brooklyn
Life.
Bride-George, dear. when we reach
our destination let us try to avoid Civ
ing the impression that we are newly
married. George-All right. Maud:
you can carry this suit case-New
Yorker.
Il wonder why they call these apart
ments 'fatsY That doesn't mean any
thing" mo. perhaps the man who
first invented them happened to look
at the building plan sidewise "-Phila-
uelpuld fFeSS.
Another Victim: Newsboy-Great
mystery Fifty victims, Purchaser
Here. l sayl There's nothing in your
paper. Newsboy-That's the mystery.
guv'nor. You're the ffty-hrst victim.
illustrated Bits.
she must be a very brilliant wom-
a. 60 I he
that is worth remembering. Indeed
she does. She teaches the multiplied
ton table in the primary grade. -
Cleveland Leader.
Pats Trouble: An freshman came to
doctor complaining that he had
noises in his head. "Oi have thin arl
the tonne" he said. AN sometimes
OF can hear thin fifty feet away
Lippincott's Magazine.
why did the congregation hurry
out so suddenly after the benediction?'
The sexton makes them leave their
umbrellas in the vestibule, and those
who get out late haven't much Of a
choice. "-Clevelsnd Plain Dealer.
She Was Worried: The Minister
My dear madam. let this thought con-
sole you for your husbands death. Re
member that other and better men
than he have gone the same way.
Bereaved Widow-They haven't all
gone. have they:-Tit-Bits.
Just Avoiding a Cuss Word; Grayce
WAR; War, War. Gladys-What on
earth are you hollering war" about:
Grayce-I just struck my thumb with
the hammer. Gladys-Well. what's
war got to do with it? Grayce-Don'
Won know what war is:-LOuisyille
Courier-Journal.
She Meant Well: "Now. Tommy,
said Mrs. Bull. Il want you to be good
while I'm out" IN be good for a
nickel" replied Tommy. Tommy
said she. Il want you to remember
that YOU cannot be a son Of mine I'M
less you are good for nothing. Louis
Vile Courier-JOurnal.
Dentist (who has pulled the wrong
tooth)-I see how made the mistake
lI counted the molars from the back
instead Of the front. You don't seem
TO have cut your wisdom teeth yet
Young man. Grooming Patient-That
evident from the choice l made Of d
dentist,-Chicago Tribune.
Directions for Use.-The inventor OF
new feeding bottle for infants sent
ont the following among his directions
/ for using: when the baby Is done
drinking it must be unscrewed and laid
in cool place under the hydrant. II
the baby does not thrive on fresh miiS
:. sh,rId he boiled. Collier Weekly