The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-11-29
STORIES Of SIMPSON.
Kansas Statesman's Account of
the "Sockless" Joke.
INCIDENTS OF HIS PUBLIC LIFE

How lie Won Tom Reeds Friend-
ship and Had a Private Pension
Bill rassel-His Joke ON sncn or
Cannon-The Episode About Ding
ley and His Hat.
The late jeremiah Simpson, the OK
representative from Kansas and well
known Populist, thus told an acquaint-
ance how he came to be called "Sock-
less Simpson,"
There are thousands Of persons who
wonder why l am called 'Sockless
Simpson, but there are very few who
know the real reason I was a young
fellow with a considerable fondness
for the society Of young ladies, and I
was very proud Of my feet.
I'VE all used to wea tight boots,
sometimes SO tight as to he very un-
comfortable. There was a fellow who
had a foot just a trife smaller than
mine. He could wear boots q size
smaller than l, and n mutual acquaint-
ance, who, by the way, vas a young
lady, spoke about 1t to me n evening.
I was in the habit Of wearing heavy
wooden socks. and l knew that IL I
should take them off l could wear
smaller boots. To my great Joy l found
on trying that l could wear a size
smaller than my rival, and l at once
purchased a pair. l went to call that
evening as usual, and found him there,
proud in the possession Of feet which
We're really smaller than mine.
1.-THE subject came up believe l
started it-about the sizes Of our boots,
and he eagerly accepted my challenge
to a measurement. or ourse l won,
and he seemed to feel as badly over it
as If he had lost u horse race. But the
b0otmaker who was in possession Of
my secret gave me away, and the boys
all got on to the story. Do l wear
socks now? l should say that l do"
Jerry Simpson had the friendship Of
Tom Reed, former speaker Of the house,
to an extent enjoyed by few men Of
Reeds own party.
Twill you tell me-" said Reed in his
drawl to Simpson IL day, why you
are a Populist:"
"Tor the same reason" said Simpson,
that you are a Republican, ma
jority Of the people of our respective
districts are Of way Of thinking"
From that time forward Reed was
the stanch friend Of Simpson. There is
another story Of Simpson which is 60
ing the rounds. It demonstrates fur
how he stood with Reed, and also
where his heart was upon occasion.
Simpson wanted a private pension
bill passed. Heretofore he had been
opposing pension legislation. This par
ticular bill did not have a favorable re-
port, but he went to the speaker, Mr..
Reed. about it and told him the bill af-
fected the fortunes Of a poor old widow
down in Kansas.
"Why," said Reed, do you want this
bill passed when you have been oppos-
ing pension legislation during this ses
sion, especially such a bill us this,
which comes in without a favorable re-
port:"
There are thirty reasons why l sup
port this BILL" replied Jerry. 1.-THE
first one is that the woman needs the
money. have forgotten the other
twenty-nine."
Jerry got recognition and the bill
passed.
"There were several old fellows In
congress I used to like to get n joke
on" said Jerry In a reminiscent mood
some time ago, land one of these was
Cannon Of Illinois. had made an anti
expansion speech, and Cannon got up
and said that II l had made that speech
in Manila I would have been tried by
a drumhcad court martial and shot.
When he had finished l got up and said
l would Just as o be shot in Manila
for making Il speech Of that kind as to
he shot in congress by an old smooth
bore brass Cannon from Illinois. Tom
Reed enjoyed that very much, and he
shook all over with suppressed laugh
ter. He came up to me afterward and
said: That was all right, Jerry. l for
give you II lot Of things for that
"About that Dingley episode, It was
not l who discovered Dingley's hat; II
was a Republican member. Dingley
used to wear Il fine plug hat that was
Il regular cloud Of smoke by day and
Il pillar Of fire by night We ropu'
lists used to take II shot ut 1t every
once in awhile. When he was In the
house Dingley always kept it standing
rim up, on Il corner of his desk. One
LAY n Republican happened to look In,
to it and said to me, Jerry. go over and
look into Dingley's hat I did SO, but
didn't find any eggs or anything ant
said So. l was told to look again. Thel
l saw the word London and sailed in
to Dingley. the high priest OF protec
ton, for wearing a London made hat
1t was in fun. but Dingley took thu
matter very seriously and splutteret
Nh