The Saint Paul globe., 1905-02-22
A FEW WORDS
ABOUT W|OOWERS
The Length of Their Mourning
and What to Wear Worried
One of Them

A man wrote to one of the local
papers recently and asked what
widower should wear to quiet fam
fly dinner Now, that man wrote to
the wrong paper; he should have writ
ten to this one, for if there is anything
upon which this department feels that
it can give expert testimony it is upon
the dress and conduct of widowers.
First this particular bereaved one
wants to know how long he should
wear mourning. The fact that he asks
the question tells good deal. A year
is a long time for a widower to mourn,
but if he can hold out a year it looks
better and he is more likely to make
a hit with the surviving relatives of
the dear deceased. A year by all means.
But what is mourning for a widower?
That isl fear 1 do not make myself
clear-what does a widower call
mourning? Is it wearing a black neck
tie, or is it a certain downcast look of
the eyes and droop of mouth. After an
exhaustive study of widowers / fear
this question will have to be left to
some wiser-if less sympathetic-head.
The next question asked by the griev-
ing one is, what should he wear to din
ner with dear friend? Well, why dine
with a dear friend? Does he really
think he should dine with a dear friend
while in mourning? Nothing being
said as to who the dear friend is great
latitude for conjecture is permissible.
Suppose that dear friend is a widow.
He ought to think twice about dining
out when in mourning, but if he does
go, what to wear is certainly ques-
tion. Black of course; if the dear
friend is a widow, he cannot put it on
too thick. A black suit, black tie,
black gloves, weepers tied on his
sleeves, black -bordered handkerchief,
black edge on his visiting cards, every
thing black in fact. Then he should
let the corners of his mouth droop, and
not appear to be taking notice. He
ought to smile gently and sadly, and
look out of the window pensiyely.
Men are so funny about mourning.
Some widowers wear it until after the
funeral, and are likely to appear in
red necktie a week later. Now, there
is no more reason for a widow to wear
mourning than widower, and often
there is less. But the fact that a
Tidower wrote to the paper to know
how long he should mourn, makes one
very sad How would he like the dear
departed to know that he wrote to ask?
His heart ought to dictate the length
Of time. She probably died with the
he was for a week. He did not know
where anything was, there was no one
to mend, or to scold, or to point morals
with, and no one to laugh at the stories
he had told a thousand times. At the
funeral he is almost always dry eyed.
That shows an unspeakably deep and
awful grief which nothing can console
for some time. What is the use of
living? Everything looks dark and
the band on his hat is very, very high.
ALMOST as high as his spirits are low.
But when a man has reached the
stage at which he can dine with a dear
friend, then, while one yet knows his
heart aches. there is some hope that
he may again take an interest in life
There never was wife like his, of
course, and never could be again, but
and here his thoughts trail off and he
wonders whether any moths have got
ten into his evening clothes. Not that
he viii ever need them. oh dear no,
life in that sense is over for him, but
and his thoughts wander away again.
He takes no interest in clothes, the
cut of coats or the sort of q hat men
wear now, but he does wonder whether
tt would be in bad taste to wear a
gray tie. Gray is such nice ladylike
shade and let's a widower down easy
He wouldn't think of putting on colors.
for has he not lost everything? But
Of course no man wants to look like a
guy even if he is in black. So-but il
is best TO leave him here. I should not
attempt to take him through his Sec
Ond summer