davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1905-04-14
Must Have Been a Bachelor.

A horrible synic has invented the
following disgraceful paragraph: 1T
is beautiful to behold at a wedding
the sorrow-stricken air of the parent
as he gives the bride away when we
know that for the last ten years he has
been trying to get her off his hands,
London Tit-bitS.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1905-04-14
Researchers and Historians.

Those who search and search and
search are the ones who find the gold.
Later on the historian tells us where
the gold was. Good writer's OF his
tory should help make better hunters
of precious metals.-Orvice Sisson.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1905-04-14
Insist on Getting It.

Some grocers say they don't keep
Defiance Starch because they have
stock in hand of IL OF. brands, which
they know cannot be sold to a custo-
mer who has once used the 16 OF.
pkg. Defiance Starch for same money.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1905-04-14
Fancies of Great Men.

A tea made from sage was the fav-
orite connection of John Wesley, while
a ginger tea was quite weakness
with Coleridge, the poet.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1905-04-14

Do a good act. and you are credited
with two. Do a mean act, and you
are credited with ten.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1905-04-14

Superior quality and extra quantity
must win. This is why Defiance Starch
is taking the place of all others.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1905-04-14

We wish every summer we were
as popular as strawberries and ice
cream.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1905-04-14

It is useless to tell one what they
already know and they won't believe
what they don't know.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1905-04-14

"Dr. David Kennedys Favorite REMEDY
cured my wife of q terrible disease. with pleasure
testify to Its efficacy" Jsweet, Abany,N T.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1905-04-14

Any uncomfortable action is due to
our ''other self -
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1905-04-14

Have You Noticed That
Some people do an act of meanness
in one direction and try to square
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1905-04-14
Day Laborers, Skilled Workmen, and
Especially Farm Tenants.

During the months Of March and April, there
will be excursions on the various lines OF rail-
way TO the Canadian West.
Hundreds OF thousands OF acres OF the best
Wheat and Grazing Lands on the Continent
free TO the settler.
Adjoining lands NAV be purchased from rail-
way and land companies at reasonable prices
For information as 20 route, cost OF transpoH
tation etc. apply TO Superintendent OF Imrni-
grafton. Ottawa. Canada. OF 70 authorized Can.
adan Government Agent. S.-Crawford. No.
l25 w. Ninth Street, Kansas City, Missouri
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1905-04-14
DON,T FORGET

A large 2-oz. package Red Cross Ball Blue, only
cents. The Russ Company, South Bend, IND.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1905-04-14

ical Discovery will cure con-
sumption when thoroughly
seated and established. We doubt if
any medicine will then cure, although
hundreds have been cured by the
Discovery after their attending
physicians had pronounced their cases
to be regular tubercular consumption.
The fact is that the Golden Medical
Discovery does cure severe throat and
bronchial affections, lingering coughs,
and those obstinate, wasting, run
down." conditions which, if neglected
or improperly treated, run on and
terminate in genuine consumption.
We know that thousands of men and
women although in the advanced stages
of feebleness and emaciation paid,
wasted and broken-down with all the
terrible symptoms of hacking coughs,
night sweats, hectic fever, absolute
prostration, and even bleeding from
the lungs-have been restored by the
use of this marvellous medicine to per-
manent health, strength and vitality.
But it must be taken in time, before
the lungs have been filed with tuber-
cular deposits, or have actually begun
to break down.
DIR. R. v. PIERCE Buffalo. N. Y:
Dear Sir-It gives me pleasure to send you
this testimonial so that some other poor suf-
ferer may be saved. as was. by DR.. Pierces
Golden Medical Discovery. l had a cough
for years. expectorated a great deal and was
slowly falling. Could eat three good meals q
day but was losing flesh every day. Lost IN
weight from $50 pounds down TO ~ Ny nesh
got soft and had no strength. DID not say
anything TO any one but made up my mind
that the end was not far OF II l did'not get
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1905-04-14

your Intelligence for dealer to attempt
palm upon you substitute for this worId.faned
medicine. what want IFS his business to
NEE want When he ur6es some subsdfufe, he's
thinking OF the LARGER profit he'll make not OF your
welfare. HYoid all such unprincipIed dealers.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1905-04-14

When Answering Advertisements
Kindly Mention This Paper.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1905-04-14

W. N. u.-wiehita-No. I5-isc5
When Answering Advertisements
Kindly Mention This Paper.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1905-04-14
VIII III Cure Consumption?

help soon. One day my wife was reading in
the Common Sense Medical Adviser about
DR.. Pierce's Golden Discovery. and L sald
that sounds more like common sense than
any thing else that had heard. L at once
bought bottle of your famous remedy and
before had taken half OF one bottle felt
better. Took thirteen bottles and 1t made q
new man of me- l gained sixteen pounds ana
never have had cough since feel splendld
and give all the credit to your medicine
GEO. a. THOMPSON
Sheldon Ave. Chatham. Ont. Canada.
DR. R. v. PIERCE. Buffalo. N. Y:
Dear Sir-I wish to speak as to the benefit
received from DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical
Discovery. My health being run.d low / last
lungs and throat l had very bad cough.
also raised great deal. Doctored for awhile
with our country physician and he said that
II my cough could not be broken up L would
go into consumption. l could see no benefit
from his treatment so purchased Dottle
OF DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery,
and In two weeks, time my cough was n an
covery " Is one of the best cough remedies In
existence and also know that DR.; Pierces
Favorite Prescription Is very gooq LOT tns
troubles for which IL Is recommended. 1or L
have taken it.
Hoping that others may be benefited as
have been. remain.
Yours with respect.
Mrs NJ BLAzIER,
Morgan. Oconto Co. Wis.
DR.. Pierce's !s4ss1 ss% s %s !;
health, and good health is largely a mat
ter OF healthy activity OF the bowels. DIR.
Pierce's Pleasant Pellets cure constipa-
ton. They are safe, sure and speedy,
and once taken do not have to be taken
always. One little Pellet" is a gentle
laxative, and two mild
s saIIs i. !, TIISS gyIg nsysT Pellets.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1905-04-14

TO, we cannot hold out the promise
that DR.. Pierce's Golden Med
ical DISCOVERY will cure com
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1905-04-14

cream.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-05-28

though the mouIhful he took out of my
pants under the counter didn't agree
with him." added the boy. as the dog
rolled over and tried 10 stand on his
head
Dog acts kinder like he had some
thing on his mind" said the old man,
as he got out Of the dogs way. so
he could do his scrobatic stunt
Say. said the Bad Boy. If You have
never been vacciDated against mad dog,
you better take something right now,
for that dog is mad. ano in about two
minutes he is going to begin 20 snap
at people, and there is no death so ter
Tfble as death from mad dog bite
Gee. but / wouldn't be in your place
for million dollars" And the boy
stood up on the barrel and was be
ginning to yell mad dog" when the
old man asked what he could take 10
make him immune from the bite OF a
mad dog
Eat a bottle of hOrSeradish. said
the boy. as he reached over TO the
shelves and got a bottle. and pulled
the cork. Eminent scientists agree
that hOrseradish is the only thing that
viii get the system in shape to with
stand and throw off the mad dog Vi
rus and he handed the old man the
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-05-28

with a club. whether 10 give him the
glad hand. or form himself into "a col
umn of fouT~ and drive him out when
he came
He had accumulated a terrier dog
since the boy went away. to be com
pany for the old singed cat. to hunt
rats I'm the cellar, and to watch the
store nights The dog was barking
down cellar. and the old man went
down the rickety stairs to see what
the trouble was. and while he was
down there helping the dog TO tree a
hat under "a sack Of potatoes. the Bad
Boy slipped into the store. and. finding
the old man absent. ne crawIed under
the counter. rdTIed up on cracker
box and began to snore as the old
man came up the stairs followed by
the dog. with q rat in its mouth The
old man heard the SnOre. and won
deTed If he had been entertaining a
tramp unaWareS. when the dog dropped
the rat and. rushing behind the coUn-
ter. began TO ErOWl and grabbed the
BAD Boy by the seat of his trousers
and gave him a good shaking. The
boy set up yell that caused the
plaster to fall and the old man al
most to faint with excitement. and he
went to the door to call policeman
The boy kicked the dog of and raised
up from behind the counter. causing
the old cat TO raise her back and spit
cotton. and as the old man saw the
Bad Boy he leaned against the show
case, and large smile came over his
face. and ne said. Gee. whiZ, Where
did you get on"
THE porter was not in so I turned
I'm the first lower berth came to-
said the Bad Boy. as he jumped over
the counter and era bbed the old man
by the arm and shook his hand until il
the doc. who seems to have acquired
an appetite for pants, and the Bad
Boy got behind the old man and
kicked at the dog, who was barking as
though he had a cat on the fence.
Get out. Tige,' said the old man.
as ne pushed the dog away. You
have got to get used To this young
heather" and he Rugged the bright
looking well dressed boy. as though he
was proud of him
What are good fat rats selling for
now" asked the boy. as his eve fell
on the rat the terrier had brought out
of the cellar Il did not know YOU
had added meat market 10 YOUR gro
Gerry Now i'm Paris. the RAT business Is
a very important industry. but 7
didn't know the people ate them here
What do YOU retail them at
80. get out I don't sell rats said
the old man. Indignantly 81 cot this
dog for company. in your place. and
he has proved himself more useful
than any boy I ever saw say. come
end sit down by the stove. and tell
me all about your trip. as your let
ters to me were not very full Of in
formation How is your fathers
health2"
Dad is the heaithiest man in Amer
lea said the boy. as he handed the
old man a Turkish cigarette. with a
piece Of cheese under the tobacco
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-05-28

piece of candy such as he gave the
king of Spain, with cayenne paper. in
II, 10 the dog which swallowed il
whole, and the old man said. Now. I
suppose your father is cured. You will
all stay at home for a while. and set
tie down to decent citizenship and
take an active part in the affairs of
your city and state? Gee but what
is the matter with the dog" added the
old man. as the dog jumped up on all
tours. looked cTOss-eyed. and tried 10
dig a hole in his stomach with his hind
leg.
20. no, We shall never stay at home
much more said the Bad Boy. get
ting up on barrel ana pulling his feet
up to get away from the dog who
was beginning to act queer. You see,
d I'd got cured all right. OF few di-
seases that were carrying him off, but
he has taken the Jumps a disease that
is incUrabie. When a man has the
jumps he can't stay long in one place.
but his life after taking the disease is
one continual round of packing up and
unpacking, his literature is time cards
and railroad guides. and his meals are
largely taken al railroad eating houses.
sitting on a stool. and his sleep IS un-
certain cat maps. Say, that dog acts as
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-05-28

cigarettes" said the Bad Boy. They
get a smoke and food at the same
time. But if YOU feel sick. you can go
out in the back yard and I viii wait
for you"
No. 1 viii be all right said the
old man. as he got Up to wait on d Gus
toner Here try a glass of my cider"
and he handed the boy a dirty glass
half-flled with cider. which the boy
drank. and then looked queer at the
old man.
Tastes Iike it smells going through
the oil belt in Indiana said the boy
What's IN it2''
Kerosene said the Old man. The
Turks like kerosene in their cider.
They get drink and light. if they
touch a match to their breath Say
that makes us even. Now. tell me,
what country did vow dad get rob-
he'd the most in while you ",
abroad
We'll. it was about stand off, ~
said the boy. as he made a slip moose
ON the end OF piece OF Irvine, and
was trying to make hitch over the
bob tail Of the gTOceTymau's dog. with
the idea Of fastening a tomato can to
the string a little later, and turning
the dog loose. DO YOU know" said
ne TO the old man, that I think it is
wrong TO cut off dogs tail. cause
when YOU tie q tin TO il You feel as
though YOU were taking advantage of
cripple.
Well all the countries We visited
robbed dad of all the money he had.
one way or another. soon OF later.
even our own country. when We ar
rived in New York. took his roll for
duty on some little things he SNUG
gled. but I think the com animation of
robbers at Carlsbad stuck together and
got the goods off dad i'm the most Sys-
tematic manner. Some way they got
news when we arrived. of the exact
amount Of money dad had got out of
( the bank. and before we had break
fast the fakiTs had divided it up among
themselves. and each on knew lust
what was going To be his share. and
II was just Ike getting a check from
home for them If we were going
| there again we would give the money
TO some particular fakir to divide with
/ the rest, and then take a few swal-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-05-28

and had bin against dad for $3.50 for
consultations operations. advice. beard
and borrowed money. and he had a
dozen witnesses to urove every item.
Dad paid it, but we are going there once
more with keg of dynamite for the
doctor. But dad thinks he got the
worth of his mone-.
You remember before ne went away
he thought the doctors who operated
ON him for that 'pendicitis left a
monkey wrench i'm him when they
seWed him I'D. Well after he began
to drink that water ne found iron rust
on the towels when he took a bath.
and he believes the money wrench was
sweat out Of him Say, does your dog
like candy"
%. YES, he eats a IittIc." said the
croccrymaH. and the boy tossed "a
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-05-28

HE old Eroceryman was sitting in
the old grocery one fine spring
morning, looking over his accounts
as they were written on qufre of
Drown wrapping paper with blunt
lead pencil. and wondering where he
could go to collect money TO pay a note
that was due at the bank at noon on
that day He was looking ten years
older than he did the year before. when
the Bad Boy had played his last trick
on the old man. and gone abroad to
chaperoue his sick father in a search
for health and adventure. The old man
had missed the boy around the grocery,
and with no one to keep his blood cir
cUlatinE. and his temperature occa-
SIonally soaring above the normal. ne
mad failed I'm health and had read with
mixed feelings of JOY. fear and resent
mcHt that the Bad Boy and mis- dad
had arrived home, and he knew &c could
not he long before the boy would blow
IN And he was trying to decide wheth-
cr to meet the boy cheerfUlIy and with
d spirit OF resignation. OF To meet him
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-05-28

lows Of their rotten egg water, and get
out
Say. did you ever eat a piece Of
custard pie made out Of stale eggs?
Well that is just about the same as
the Carlsbad water, only the water
is not baked with a raw crust on the
bottom. But the doctor dad consulted
was peach. Dad asked him how much
of the water he ought to drink. and
the doctor held q counsel with himself,
and said dad might drink all he could
hold. and when dad asked him how
much the charges were. he said: on,
that he was not going to charge for his
advice, but after we had drank the
water for ten days. and dad was SO
weak he couldn't brush the flies off
his bald spot. we decided to go to d rest
cure. and when We had our tickets
bought the doctor attached our baggage
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-05-28
SOC Bottle Free.

If you need Liouozone, and have
never tried it. please send US this
coupon. We viii then mail you an or
DER on q local druggist for a full
size bottle and we will pay the drug
gist ourselves for it. This Is our free
gift made to convince YOU. to SHOW
YOU what LiqUOzOne is. and what il can
Go In justice to yourself. please ac-
cept it today. for It places you under
no obligation whatever
Liquozone costs SOC and 81
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-05-28

bottle. who began 70 eat it. and CRY, and
choke. and the boy got down from the
barrel and let the dog out of doors, and
he made Decline for the lake
He's water dog. all right said
the boy. and as d servant girl came
in TO buy. some soap. aud sa y the old
man eating raw horseradish and chOk-
ing and looking apopleCtic. she asked
what was the matter with the old man.
and the boy said a mad dog just es-
, capped from the store. and that the old
man had shown signs of madness ever
since: the girl gave yell and rushed
out into the world without her SOAP.
Let this be a lesson TO YOU TO be kind
to dumb animals" said the boy TO the
old man as he finished the bottle Of
horseradish and put his hands Oh his
stomach.
Copyright, 1895, by Joseph b Bowles.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-05-28

Uarus back to fit the board NJ viii be
sound again
say. this is "a genuine Turkish Gig
arctic, isn't it," said the old man. as
he pulled away at it. and blew the
smoke through MS nose I have al
ways wanted to smoke genuine, i'm
rorJed cjgaTett Got a flavor some
thing like a Welsh rabbit. amt it,
and the old man looked at the cigar
cite where the frying cheese was
soaking through the paper &c. but
can't go that" and he threw it away.
and looked Seasick
Turks always take cheese ia their
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-05-28

We paid 100000 for the American
rights to LiqUozoDe- the highest price
ever paid for similar rights on any
scientific discovery We did this after
testing the product for two years.
through physicians and hospitals. in
this country and Others. We cured all
kinds Of germ diseases with thou
Sands of the most difficult cases OBJ
tai1abIe. We proved that in germ
troubles # always accomplishss what
medicine cannot do Now we ask you
TO try Try il at or expense Test
il as we did. See what il does. Then
you vii! use IL always. az Ue 90, and
as millions of others DO. You viii use
H. not only to get wei, but to keep
well And il VIII save nearly all Of
-Tr
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-05-28
Germ DiSea SeS.

These are the known germ diseases
All that medicine can DO for these
troubles is to help nature overcome
the germs. and such results are iDdi-
rect and uncertain. LiquozOne attacks
the germs wherever they are. And
when the germs which cause disease
are destroyed. the disease must end
and forever. That is inevitable
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-05-28

d bout half an inch from where the old
man lighted it with a match. Dad is
all right except his back. He slept
four nights with q cork life pTeserveT
strapped TO his back. coming over and
he has got curvature of the spine but
the doctor has strapped board to
dads back, and says when his back
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-05-28

There lies the great value Of LiqUO-
zone. II Is the only way known 70 kill
germs in the body without killing the
tissues. too. Any drug that kills germs
is a poison. and il cannot be taken in
teTnGlly. Medicine IS almost helpless
IN any germ disease It is this fact
that gives LiQuOzOne its worth TO hU-
m9nity. And that worth is 50 great
that we have spent over one million
dollars 10 supply the first bottle free
to each sick one we learned of.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-05-28
We Paid 100000
For Liquozone. Yet We Give You soc Bottle Free

All diseases that begin with fever-aM
infIamInatiOD-au Cat8rTh-alI CONTAGIOUS
disesses-aH the results of impure or pol
Soned blood
In nervous debility LioUOzone acts "a .
vitalizer. accomplishing what no drugs
can do
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-05-28
Chicago JournaI.)

steam" said the deep thinker, is
one of the best servants of man.
Rather inSOlent at times. though"
remarked the plain citizen, as IL fire.
QuentIy blows up its master"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-05-28
CUT OUT THIS COUPON

ANY physician OF hospital not Yet using
test
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-05-28
'Tis True, Indeed

Copyright. 1895, by Joseph b BowIes.
The Newtown bee., 1905-01-06

sister of Mrs H. R. Treadwell of New Milford, died at her home in Hartford on Monday. January 2. Funeral serv- ices were held there on Thursday after noon. The final interment will take place at New Milford in the spring.
 The residence of Frederic B. Mygatt at Plaintield, N. J., was badly damaged by fire on Wednesday evening, Decem- Der 28. The fire started on the first floor in the stair hall and burned to the third story. The rooms opening out of the halls and the furniture were all damaged by fire, also by water and smoke. The fire department respond ed promptly to the alarm and by vigor- ous exertions eXtinguished the fire in a short time, their efficiency being highly commended. The damage to both house and furniture is covered by insurance. The origin of the fire is a profound mystery, as MT Mygatt's family are visiting in New Milford and the house had been unoccupied for six days. It will require about a month to reft it for occupancy. MT Mygatt is building new house, which will be completed in the spring.
The Newtown bee., 1905-01-06
LOCKED IN THE GARRETT.

The boys are having hearty laugh on Michael Feeney, popular tobacco assorter at Halpine's warehouse. The other day he had occasion to go up in- to the attic of his new house for some- thing. He forgot all about that new spring lock he put on the garret door, and after he had passed up it shut with bang, locking Michael in. There was no one in the house at the time, and no relief in sight. It was cold in the attic, but Michael is a philosopher. So he sat quietly down by the garret window and bided his time. He thought of the avenues of escape. He might drop out on the ground, but the thought of broken limbs did not please him. One, two, three hours went by and no relief Suddenly he saw the tallsform of man coming down the road. Raising the window he shouted lusti]y to the man, who wondered what the excited man in the garret window wanted. In crisp and eloquent sentences Michael ex- plained his predicament, asking the man to go into the house and unlock the door. The stranger granted the request, but it will cost the genial Mi chael a box of cigars to fix it up with the boys.