davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

there will be no need. Now, are you
ready?.
Quite"
Got your gag?"
Yes"
shooter
Yes
"rhen follow me-
In an instant we were oves the wall,
in another on the lawn behind the
how There was no moon. The very
stars in their courses had yelled
themselves for our benefit. 1 crept at
my leaders heels to some French
windows opening upon a shallow YER
anda. lie pushed. They yielded
Luck again." he whispered; moth
ing but luck! Now for a light
And the light came!
good score of electric burners
glowed red for the fraction of a sec
ond. then rained merciless white
beams into our blinded eyes. When
we found our sight four revolvers
covered us, and between two of them
the colossal frame of Reuben Rosen-
thall shook with a wheezy laughter
from head to foot.
Good evening boys" he hiccough-
ed Glad to see We at last Shift
foot or finger you on the left. though,
and you're dead boy. | mean you,
you greaserl' he roared at Raffies.
It know you. I've been waitin' for
you. I've been watehin' you all this
week. Plucky smart you thought
yerself. didn't you? One day Begin,
next time shammin' tight, and next
one O. them old pals from Kimberley
what never come when I'm in. But
you left the same tracks every day.
you buggins, an the same tracks
every night, all round the blessed
premises!"
"AlI right, guv'nor" drawlcd Raj
fles: don't excite. It's a fair cop.
We don't sweat to know 'ow you
brung it orr. Only don't you go for to
shoot cos we int awmed, s'help me
Gordw
All you're KNOWN one" said
Rosenthall, lingering his triggers.
But you've struck a KNOWN err"
"Ho yuss, we know all abaht theti
Set a thief to ketdh a thief-ho yuss."
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10
personal AND OTHERWISE.

Kermit Roosevelt has bear and two
wildcats to his credit.
Mr.. Hartman didn't mind that rude jostle
in Toxic. He has lived in Wall street too
long.
Tokio's home guards sustain the reputa-
ton Of the tribe for fghting when there
isn't much damage Of getting hurt.
Asbury Park. N. j.. once a campmeet-
ing, is.now town Of secret saloons The
town voted TO slake its thirst on the Kan
sas plan.
Friends of Kldnaper Raisuli seem de-
termined TO keep him in print, just to show
that Pat Grove does not enjoy monopoly
OF the business.
The salary lists OF life insurance com
panies is a source Of keen criticism in and
out Of the press, but they would not look
any too large II the critics could annex a
few of them.
A woman In tears in New York, who
refused to tell her troubles to policeman,
was promptly arrested, The excuse given
for the outrage was that the rainfall was
already beyond the normal.
A coroner's Jury in ST. Paul announces
that there were several vital defects in
machine which caused the death of two
people. AS an exponent OF hindsight a
coroner's jury is unsurpassed.
Another ripe professor breaks into print
with the startling news that the moon Is
nothing more than a large chunk OF earth.
One OF youths wondering idols, the green
cheese theory, is thus hustled down the
hume.
A pious Indiana man who tried TO run
camp meeting restaurant without price
tags, allowing his customers TO pay what
they wished is looking for another job,
In the opinion Of this generous innocent
an alliance of pety and purse Is exceed
ingly remote,
Mr.. Rockefeller sported his new wig
while entertaining the American press hu-
morlsts on his Cleveland estate. He even
smiled at the punsters Putting the smile
and the wig togther justihes an immediate
revision Of the pictures which have marged
the eulogies OF Ida Tarbell ard others,
Every poet whose heart is vibrant with
music VIII rejoice 70 learn that their
brothers,in Chicago are waging successful
war on ROSTERS. Mankind admits without
! argument thar cockcrowing does not con-
duce to comfort and is devoid of har-
mony. Chicago ROSTERS must go or the
divine muse viii move to Milwaukee or
Hammond, Ind,
People otherw'se sane often manifest
strange indifference to the progress Of medl-
cal science. even 20 the extent Of spurn-
ing the delicate attentions OF Or. Saw
bones. A railroad switchman, crushed be-
tween the cars and seriously injured
internally" secuted the diagnosis of the
doctors, jumped over a twehty-foot hog
pital wall and outfooted three policemen
IN the race 10 his home, where his wife
shielded him from further harm. such
incidents are regrettable. They discourage
science and endanger the ethics Of a great
profession.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10

the United States. This Is not only
true Of the ambassadors, says Wash
ngton report. 'hut also Of the ministers
and consular representatives In the
latter force the president has found
himself hampered 10y the old bugnboo
of political influence. The consular
service, being outside civil service regu-
lations, except for a perfunctory exam
nation at the State department is still
claimed by senators and representatives
as their legitimate spoil" Undoubtedly
under the present administration the
standard Of the governments diplomatic
and consular service will be high and
that in whatever direction improvement
can be effected it will be made. Amer
lean diplomacy, always frank, honest
and straightforward, will maintain that
distinction and will continue to merit
and receive the respect and confidence
of the world. our national capital has
attained new and greatly increased i'm
portance as a diplomatic center.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10
THE PrRLLC PRINTING.

The summary action of President
Roosevelt in removing from office the
head Of the government printing office,
after having asked for his resignation,
was doubtless due to facts coming
to the presidents knowledge of char
acter to call for the prompt dismissal
of Palmer. His humiliation in the mat
ter is intensified by the appointment as
his successor, it Is supposed temporarily,
of one Of the employees Of the Office
whom Palmer had sought to get rid
of on the charge of INSTRUMENTATION and
who is indicated by the presidents
action.
Meanwhile the affairs of the govern
ment printing office are being exposed
and the disclosures show that for some
time they have been very badly, if not
corruptly managed. In one of the cur
rent magazines Mr.. w. S. ROssiter,
chief clerk in the census bureau and ex-
pert special agent for printing and pub
fishing the twelfth census, man of
experience in practical printing, pre-
sents facts regarding the mismanage-
ment of the government printing Office
which cOnclusively show the necessity
for radical reforms in that establish
ment. He points out the rapid increase
in the expenditures of the Office and
says that If the present rate of Increase
he maintained during the current decade
the total outlay for printing in those
ten years will exceed SGO000,OO0. He
asserts that there is no country on
earth where the public printing APP
proaches in volume or in cost the re-
quirements of the United States. OF
course the public printer has nothing to
do with the amount of work required
of his office. Congress and the executive
departments are responsible for this.
But there can be no doubt that If the
office were conducted efficiently and on
business principles the expenditures
could he materially reduced without
lowering the quality of the work.
President Roosevelt has determined
that the government printing office must
be reformed and there will be no half
way measures I'm bringing this about.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10

MUTUAL LIFE INSURANCE METHODS.
The investigation now in progress,
instituted by the New York Legislature
into the practical workings Of the so
called mutual life insurance companies,
has pricked the glittering bubble of
mutually and dissipated the common
belief that the wishes of the policy
holders are consulted by the government
Of these companies.
At the very outset Of the investigation
it was shown that the participation Of
the policyholders in the organization
and government of these companies on
the principle of mutually as practiced
at present Is delusion and snare
from officers of the company under in
vestigation, the annual elections are cut
and dried affairs, prearranged by ex-
ecutive committees that exercise arbi-
trary and almost unlimited powers.
High officials of the most conspicuous
insurance companies of America calmly
admit that such thing as n con
tested election was unheard of and that
the annual number of ballots cast by
pollcyholders at each election often mum
bered a paltry dozen or less, and those
were for the most part voted by en-
ployes or officers of the company on
proxies for absent policyhOlders. In
spectors Of these elections whose duty
it is under the bylaws to certify their
legality admitted that they commonly
took no steps to determine the eligibility
of the alleged policyholders who might
appear to vote in person, but accepted
on that point the assurance of such
officers of the company, usually the
president or vice president, who happen
to be present.
All these revelations are by no means
unexpected. The primary object of
mutually in life insurance companies
is to allow each policyholder to par
ticipate in the government of the COM
pany I'm the same manner as a stock
holder participates in the government of
the ordinary corporation. Under such
system it would be next to impossible
for one set of men to continue in office
for a generation or a lifetime; on the
contrary, there would be frequent
changes I'm the directory and these
changes would be n barrier to frenZied
finance, extravaganza and reckless
waste on the part of mutual life COM
pany officials.
If the legislatures of New York and of
other states profit by the disclosures con
corning sham mutualizations that have
been made before this investigating
committee, the abuses that have cropped
up into the government of mutual life
insurance companies will be eradicated
and naturalization will mean in fact
what its name implies.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10
AN IMPORTANT coNFERENcE.

A national conference is TO be held at
Urbana, H., in connection with the in
auguration exercises of the new prcsi-
dent OF the University Of Illinois next
month, to be participated in by the trus-
tees Of American colleges and univer-
stiles, which should be OF more than
ordinary Importance, especially to the
people of the western states i'm which
the state university system of higher
education prevails As the prospectus
of this conference says, lit is well
known that the method OF governing
higher institutions Of learning by boards
OF trustees, that is, bodies of nOnexperts
-laymen, so to speak i'm the field of
education-is peculiarly American" and
the purpose Of the conference is to dis
cuss some of the most pressing ques-
lions OF college and university admin
istration involving the relations of
trustees, presidents and faculties.
If any fault is TO be found in gen
eral with our methods Of university
management it is the lack of uniformity
due 10 the absence OF any accepted
rules or principles for governing these
institutions. Not only is there an utter
lack of accepted methods as between
different universities and colleges, but
within the administration OF each sepa-
rate university no continuous or fixed
policy is observed, so that a change in
officers or in the control Of the trustees
body is almost sure 10 work radical
revolution in the administration of the
trust.
The coming conference is 20 consider
several vital subjects; among them,
whether the real administrative author
ity should be vested I'm the faculty or
in the trustees; whether the president
should be the sole advisory authority TO
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10


President Roosevelt's popularity comes
from the fact that he keeps in touch with
the common people. Every address he de-
livers testiles to this fact, There may be
nothing startling in what he says, but 1t
is the dominant note of human sympathy
contained that captivates all his hearers.
This characteristic was strikingly illus
trated on the occasion of his recent visit
to Wilkesbarre, Pa. So great was the
crush and the almost frenzied desire to be
near him that many were injured and a
serious panic was averted only by the
prompt action of the president himself. His
words were listened to with an intense
earnestness that must have been very
gratifying TO the speaker From the stand
point of oratory there was nothing remark
able in President Roosevelt's speech. But 1t
bristled with healthy, wholesome sugges-
tions that could be applied with profit in
the every day life of those who heard It.
He went straight to the level Of their
needs when he told them that love for work
will end all labor troubles and that sobriety
and intelligent zeal are tending to eliminate
the woes of those who toll.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10
SERMONS BOILED DOWN.

Happiness rests on thoughts more than
on things.
Only those who love the world can live
above it.
The hnnicky man always thinks he alone
is faithful
Giving with grunting may be worse than
Withholding.
Holiness without heart is but hindrance
to humanity.
The man who jumps at conclusions
seldom lands on facts.
A man can lie with his tone while his
tongue tells the truth.
The robe Of righteousness is not the same
as the cloth of the clergy.
Some churches that claim to be working
for men are only working men.
Never put off to tomorrow the meanness
you might as well give up today.
Nothing hurts the feelings of the stuffed
martyr worse than letting him alone
Too many sermons are attempts to feed
the people on cook books instead of on
bread
The pessimist dips his head in an antique
bog and then begins to discourse on the
weather.
Many a preacher thinks the world is
wicked for lack of his sermons when II is
only weary because Of them.
There may be as much religion in a little
asphalt here as in whole lot OF auriferOus
pavement over there.-ChicagO Tribune.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10

Omaha is always gratited at the sue
cess of any of it's citizens in any enter
prise and we feel sure the numerous
friends of J. f. Markell will rejoice at
his good fortune in securing big
plum on the Panama railroad and ca
nal. We apprehend, however, that the
press agent who computed the hotel
concession granted to Mr.. Markell at
$jO,0O0000 was looking through mag
nifying glasses, Uncle Sam bought the
right-of-way and what there is of the
Panama canal for S4O,OOOOOO, and the
whole Panama railroad, including its
rolling stock, is scarcely. worth half that
sum. The probabilities are a cipher or
two was added in transit between New
York and Omaha
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10


There is no doubt that one result OF
the successful efforts of President
Roosevelt in behalf of peace between
Russia and Japan will be to place
Washington on a par with the prin-
cipal European capitals as a diplomatic
center. The inteIpositlOn of the presi-
dent was n demonstration TO the world
not only OF the earnest desire of this
country that the conflict I'm the far east
should end, but also that here the repre-
sentatives of contending nations can
meet without fear of coming under in
fluences which are almost certain TO he
eXerted in Europe. 1t is remarked that
the presidents achievement will make
the capital of the United States more
than any other great capital OF the
world the theuter for plans in world
diplomacy, that the trained diplomats
of Europe will welcome assignments
TO Washington, where the doctrine OF
square dealing and publicity In interna-
tional affairs is practiced. A prestige
has been acquired by the United States
which cannot fail TO make it more in
fiuential than ever i'm settling world
affairs
1t is said that the president is i'm
pressed with the necessity OF having
men at the important capitals abroad
who win be in every way competent
TO sustain the Diplomatic prestige OF
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10

Now we have discovered what the
New American Order of Protection was
ordained for. The explanation reaches
us from the Lincoln Star in the follow
ing announcement:
II. c. NJ Burgess having been elected
supreme commander of the American Order
of Protection, It is presumed by many Of
his friends that his new duties will make
it impossible for him to take such an active
part in politics and that therefore, he will
decline to be a candidate for reelection as
chairman of the republican state central
committee.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10

the trustees or the other administrative
officers or various faculties should also
be consulted; how the trustees should
be selected, by occupation Of the alumni
or by outside authority, and If by
outside authority in the case of state
universities, whether they should be APP
pointed by the governor or elected spe-
clhcally for that purpose by the people,
or hold their places ex-offiCio by virtue
of being elected or chosen to some other
office or position lastly, should the trus-
tees assume entire control Of the finan-
cial administration or should they i'm
pose upon the faculty certain financial
duties in connection with their depart
ments or relieve them so they can de
vote themselves entirely to Institutional
work? Another independent question on
the program is whether it is possible TO
devise uniform methods of bookkeeping
and statistics so as to make compari-
sons between the different universities
and colleges possible and useful.
The scope of this conference as thus
outlined should give it an emphasis in
the educational world not usually had
by meetings of this character. If it
can solve, or put in the way of solution.
some of these puzzling problems that
are obstruCting more efficient and
economical management of our univer-
stiles and making them so costly and
expensive TO those who support them,
it will have served a purpose that will
entitle it to become permanent.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10

The complaints against all the st.
Louis saloon keepers who were prose
cuted by order of Governor Folk for
violating the Sunday clause of the Mis-
souri, dram shop law have been dis
missed after one Of the offenders had
been acquitted by the jury, which goes
to show that a sumptuary law cannot
be enforced unless the law is backed by
public sentiment.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10

The explanation of the failure of the
Bishop Potter saloon is that it degen-
Grated quickly until it was no cleaner,
nor better, nor more attractive than any
other saloon and was conducted with
less businesslike methods. In this day
of competition the rule of the survival
of the fittest evidently applies to sa-
looms as well as to other enterprises.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10

Lincoln had hard luck in the matter
of state fair weather. AS a mark of
substantial sympathy an invitation is
away from the state fair Ey the rains
to come to Omaha the first week in DC
tober and enjoy the unrestricted hospi-
tality of King Ak-Sar Ben and his host
OF merrN-mnkerS
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10

Fusion I'm New York against Tam
many is to be effected, If effected Mt all,
on the basis OF a demand for municipal
ownership. The result would produce
some strange sOmmersaults should
Tsmmany align itself in opposition 10
municipal ownership. No wonder
Colonel Bryan is taking himself out OF
the country.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10

According to Bradstreet's Review of
Trade cool weather and the ending of
the vacation season, coupled with the
partial re-opening of schools, have made
for more activity i'm retail lines north,
west and east. Why not also I'm the
south? Is it because there is no partial
reopening Of the schools of that section
of the country?
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10

Governor Douglas of Massachusetts
refuses absolutely to stand for a second
term, giving rs his reason his unwilling
ness to submit himself TO political pub
licity. Mr.. Douglas has demonstrated
his belief in advertising but he is evil
IDENTITY convinced that the advertising
he pays for paws him best
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10
Needless Impotence.
Chicago Chronicle.

Norwegian impotence at the delay of
the United States government in recog-
nlzlng Norways independence is hardly
justified. If Norway had proclaimed it.
self a republic American interest and SYM
pathy would naturally have been aroused.
AS it merely proposes to exchange one
king for another, If it can find a prnceling
who will accept the crown, its suppostious
independence hardly appears to be worth
recognizing.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10

The corn belt still maintains suprem-
acy over the cotton belt. The mini
mum price of the cotton crop of 1905
has been fixed by the planters at II
cents a pound which is very nearly 100
per cent higher than was the cotton
crop of 1896, when Bryan and the sill
verites insisted that cotton and silver
walked hand I'm hand.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10

1t is greatly to he regretted that John
Hay could not have lived long enough
to have seen the triumph of American
diplomacy in the settlement Of the Rus
sian-Japanese war. Nothing would
have been so satisfying to Mr.. Hay as
to have had a share I'm bringing about
this much desired result
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10

Dplllblltlu INSpuDllNdl
The cars thanks to his Manchurian
army in announcing peace, are in his most
delightfully."- characteristic vein. The army
had ''obstina'ely repulsed" for nineteen
months the enemy's advance, and now the
same enemy had yielded all our CON
dltions" in peace making. The man who
can extract sunbeams out of cucumbers is
not yet a finished artist. He should take
lessons of the czar
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10

While William Jennings Bryan is pre-
Governor Folk is preparing to invade
the Pacific coast and establish wireless
connections with his fleet Of battleships
that are crcumnavigating the White
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10
Opening for Ak-Snr-Ben Kings.
Rufra1p Expraes

The salary which Norway offers, OF s175,
600, is said to be not enough for a king
There are plenty of good men in this coun-
try, who would undertake the job for one
half that sum. The Norwegians would do
well to advertise before awarding the con-
tract.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10
DOMESTIC PLEAsANTRIEs.

George is very I've. He went right
into papa's Office and said 1 want to marry
your daughter
And what did your father say?"
He said, Good! Which Oneg "-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
Mr.. Stalate-Don't those trolley cars
make an awful racket when they go by
the dooT2
Miss Bord-Yes. and they PASS at such
inU9Ortune moments. II was on account
Of them that you didn't hear the clock the
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10

The report that AgtIinaldV is in league
With the bands of ladrones in Luzon
zones at Il time to inform Mr.. Bryan
Just where TO apply for "anti-expan-
lion" information when he reaches
Ianila.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10

Newspaper photographers throughout
the country welcome the re-entry Of the
Hon. p. Grove within the horizon.
Every one Of them is courageously tax
ny shot at him on paper
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10

Quite apart from the obligation the
Japanese have been put under to Amer
ca by the recession OF Manchuria, the
natives OF Picking have reason TO feel
grateful for the approaching visit Of
Miss Alice Roosevelt The streets of
Picking are being cleaned in her honor.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10

The statue Of MARQUIS Ito has been
rolled in the mud by embattled Japa-
nese who are staying at home while the
fighting Japs are in Manchuria. But
the marquis will probably have the
statue cleaned or and reset without
serious inconvenience to himself.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-09-10

The comparative ease with which dis
orders were suppressed In Toxic shows
that the Japanese can teach the Rus
slams something besides how 10 conduct
battles.