Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1905-04-22

|
Try farming Life.
Johnny what's the rest of
mat quotation beginning Truth is
mighty Father Scarce" / reckon.
-Pittsburg Post
He-l go TO bed at night with
gloves on 10 keep my hands soft. She
And do You wear your hat, too?--
Hartford Courant
Medium-Do you wish to see your
departed husbands spirit7 Mrs. Whit
hetree-No | want to see his ghost!
Josh never had no spirit.-Puck.
SO the specialist said you'd have to
give up smoking for while. ehg"
les and he also said Id have to give
up Sl5 for good, Golfers Weekly.
Suitor-l'm poor but honest, sir Old
Kocksy-l don't doubt ii at all. my
BOY and unless you change your prin-
cIples you'll never get rich.-Town
Topics.
Neil-How IN the world did you dis
cover her age? Belle asked her at
what age she thought girl should
marry, and she promptly said ~
Philadelphia Ledger.
What is the chief product of the
! United States?" asked the teacher in
n European school And without hest
tation the bright pupil replied, Mon
ey.'--Washington Star.
A New York man advocates the
/ drowning Of all idiots" why. the
cruel brute, shall raise my voice in
/ protest. I-er-- oh, well, it doesn't
matter TO me. Houston Post
what is the secret of your sue
cess asked the very young man. "ln
buying" said the old horse dealer, Il
look sharp, ANA in selling | look just
as ignorant MS 1 can. Chicago Daily
/ News.
It's O'clock, Fritz! We must run
home" mo- If | GO home now | shall
he whipped for being so late I'm go
ing to stay till ana then I'll get bon
bous and kisses because I'm not
drowned "-Lustige Blaetter.
Did you spend money to get into
public otfice?" NO" answered Scna-
tor Sorghum; Il didn't spend it.
gave 1t away, and then depended on
Il decent sense of gratitude in the ben
eiiclarles. w Washington Star
Fair Devotee--I don't see any way
to raise our church debt, except to
have a lottery Minister (shocked)--
That Will never have my sanction,
madam, never, unless You call II by
some other name.--New York Weekly.
Old Party Boy, you1l catch cold IL
you get your feet wet In that puddle.
Small Boy bats what I'm after I'm
a-gon' to speak "Spartacus to de
! Gladlators" at school on Friday. an |
wants to git me voice hoarse - Chicago
News.
Their pay is shockingly small for
some OF our public officials" said the
| broad minded man. Yes" answered
the cynic; but It averages up. Some
of the public officials are shOckingly
small for their pay Washington
Star.
Finnegan-Oh, yis, OF can under
stand how thim astronomers can cal
kilate tn distance av shtarr. its
weight. and dnslty and color, and all
that-but tn thing thot gets me is,
how IN diyvle do they know It's name.
Puck
| She What is the use Of searching
/ for the North Pole, anyway? He
Why, it would result In great saving
Of money If found. She -How's that?
He-It wouldn't be necessary 10 send
any more expeditions to look after it,
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Constituent Now, Mr.. Wunnout, /
wish you'd do your best to get my boy
4 Il good government job Congressman
Well. what can your son do? Con
suurnt What can he do? Great
/ scott man, II be could do anything l
wouldn't he bothcrlng you.-Cleyeland
/ Plain Dealer
Mrs. Mccall do wish could get
good maid Mrs. Nandine-You
might interview mine, | think she'd
he delighted to 20 to you Mrs Me
|CdlI-But why don't you keep herr
Mrs Yaudne-Ob. she won't stay.
She says she wants place where she
/ won't have 80 many gowns and hats
/ IN t,lse care Philadelphia Press.
Miss Smythe torganizing a subscrip-
lion dancel-I'm "a despair about our
dance. Mr.. Brown. So many people
have failed me You'll come, won't
Won? Mr.. Brown extremely Stout
Reilly, Miss smythe; I'm not a dancing
man don't dance at ALI Miss
Smvrhe that don't matter in the
least. You'd help to ill up, you know!
| Mr. Brown Ah-yes-with pleasure
will look Int about supper time
/ Punch.
odessa.
a. tho 0reCt fftisG i'm