The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-14
HUMOR OF THE Day

HUMOR OF THE Day
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Lady lin charge of the tea-booth)-
''Will you have the cup that cheers
but does not inebriate ?" Mr.. Goldskf
aside, to his wife) Lets Wait, Sarah
Maybe We get one init der same money
vat does both Judge.
'HThey are asking how you got your
said the friend. That's all
right" answered Senator Sorghum.
1T viii be time enough to worry when
they begin to figure on how to get l.
away from me. Washington Star.
Parke-"T There's only one way to
about money matters. When
ever see a thing I want I invariably
ask myself this question, Can afford
it2' Lane-But do you always stick
to this?' Parke-sAlways.i If I find
can't afford it, buy it."-TOwn ana
Country.
''The last time I saw Packer he was
looking pretty blue; said he had moth
ing to do 'sHe told me the same
thing today when I met him, but he
was quite cheerful ''Ah, resigned to
it, [ suppose" Resigned to 1t? No,
just appointed to it. He's got polfti-
cal job. ''-Philadelphia Press.
''That bass voice is a powerful one,
isn't it?''
Eyes; notice it has a deal of
hoarse power ?''-Baltimore American.
How is the new memory system
you are studying %
cts like all the rest" said the man
who struggles to improve his mind.
1T goes on the theory that it is easier
to remember a whole lot of things you
are not interested in than one that you
are. '=WashingtOn Star.
DO you think there will be any auta-
mobiles in the next world?' said-she.
NO he replied, sadly, there won't
be anything by flying machines. De
troit Free Press.
yes" said Mr.. Goodly, .'she made
quite an impression upon me; reminds
me of an old-fashioned picture
'Ahi" interrupted Miss Chellus, you
noticed it, then?''
Noticed what?'
That's she painted. philadelphia
Press.
Miss Medfcus (sister of the new village
DOCTOR to Native-Have you heard OF
DR.. Medicus about here?
Native-Rather, muml Do yer see
that hearse and carriage goin' by over
Harper's Weekly.
do you think. she asked, that there
are any girl angels in heaven
Il haven't given the matter much
thought" he replied, but know Of one
girl angel who isn't there"
ooh, Tom she cried when she could
again use her mouth for speaking pur-
poses, you don't think 7 said it just to
lead you I'D to it. do you2-Reeord-
Herald.
my poor, forlorn woman. does your
husband drink?'' mo, mum. Does
yours ?'-Life.
Pa Twaddles-"Tommy, I wasn't such
big fool when was your age" Tommy
Twaddles-'sBut you've growed q lot
since then, amt you, pa?"-Cleveland
Leader.
Now, George, Tn off to the station
for mother. Do brace up and don't act
as ie YOU had NAL de mer!" mo such
luck: it's the coming NAL de votre mere
that makes me sick. brooklyn Life.
..Pop!y Eyes. my son. What is an
excavation why, an excavation, my
boy. is a place from which dirt has been
taken" ssWell, suppose my face is an
excavation, ?'-Yonkers Statesman
'sWhat kind of a man is Dickers?"
"Stingy. If he believed in the ortho-
5Ox idea of future punishment he'd
get some satisfaction out OF the pros
pect of free fuel" Washington Star.
whats all that noise over at your
house? Is somebody being murder
Nav. Tommy he spilled the mo-
Iasses jug on his head an mas combin'
his hair Washington Post
The other day the head of a board
ing school noticed one Of the boys
viping his knife on the tableclcth ana
noI1nced on him at once. s'Is that
what you do at homer" he asked. in
dignantly.
'sOh, no. answered the boy. quickly,
1--WE have clean knives. -Lippincott's
Magazine.
Now. then Numbered the temper
ance orator what causes most OF the
crime in this world? Drink. And what
ss-Tbirstrs cried voice in the rear Of
the haII-Philadelphia Press.
Shells that an English coat you arc
H He How do you like it?
She-To be frank with you, it is a
He&It wouldn't be English if it wasn't.
Cleveland Plain Dealer
POINTED PARAGRAPHS
From the Chicago News.I
Diplomacy is the art-of yielding grace
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