The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-07

And sadly sighed and then
Politely called: EXCUSE me, please
Chicago Record-Herald.
HI HUMOR OF THE DAY
she--And do you think it's possible for,
same place.-Phiiadeipni Ledger.
An Optimistic view-sDearest,' whis-
pered Gord ,sl ia after she had captured the
covered soltalre. Il nave confession 70
Clarence shuddered.
Oh mell." s he GeJoineSd;; after the man,
board. Chicago News.
rs Is queer ges how he,Eedity win out. re;
his sons school report. THE master says,
9n under the heading of remarks. William
Pray. what DO you mean by that2"
oh, meant, of course
But it was too iate.-London Tit-Bits:
Miss Giggles-Mr. Cooley took me, to
and enjoyed It SO much. - 49,
De Riter-Delighted to hear you say so.
box 5t-1 of fne bonbonis between usoPhIla-
delphia Ledger.
Gladys-Yes, Dick is going to marry the
one with auburn hair. He says he's got
the pick of the family.
Esmeralda-Well, when he becomes bet
ter acquainted with her disposition he'll
find he's got the hammer and tongs of the
family, likewise.-Chicago Tribune.
You people in America have no an
-Oh, yes, we have" answered the man
| whose daughter is engaged to a duke;
the best that money can buy."-Wash-
What business is Miss Gaddie in?''
Oh. Oh s he IN eSeryhbSody's business"
yes, except when it comes to q scandal.
She retails that."-Philadelphia Press.
Tommy-Pop. what is meant by the price
Tommy's Pop-oh, I suppose it has
something to do with tax on bachelors
Philadelphia Record.
| Quizzy-Wonder why it is that every
body smiles when the minister announces
Wyse-It is Impossible to say unless
everybody thinks how everybody else
pen ne WS6 s II some n5Had b OF
tween his thumb and finger.-Boston
! Transcript
That's our local weather forecaster
who just passed"
,o cYou don't sayx Not very healthy
NO; it seems the climate here doesn't
!sNo? I wonder ii that's why he keeps
changing it Observation-Disclosures Ledger.
In the barn, shoein horses"
where's your mother?"
In the back yard, shooin' chickens"
where's your father?''
| In the hammock, shooin' ies"-Wash-
tngton Star.
II notice, my dear, that the courts have
decided that some western man is only
| L wonder which
wei, 1 hope it isn't the idiots better
| half. ''-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The bibulous young millionaire had Just
\ in the family wine cellar for more than
| fifty years.
with gratitude amounting almost to rever.
| ence.-Chicago Tribune
read that ne wlove story of his, Eyes,
replied the grabbed old book reviewer. Il
sensei the dialogue between the lovers
| was positively silly" 'Wel?'-Philadel-
phia Press.
Aristides unused bitterly.
IF they are tired of hearing me called
| the just, - he complained, why don't
they listen down the dumb waiter shaft?''
However, as they overlooked that cham
Harper's Bazaar.
your doll talk when you squeeze it?'' Lit
! tie Sister-"Yes, but it doesn't say, on,
That old man has five beautiful daugh-
ters." And is he as rich in dollars as In
just about s5."-Cieveiand Leader
observation-disclosures another letter from
that guy who signs himself sVox Popuii.' .
Editor-.Wha he got to say now?" Sub
kindly inform him what 'vox ropuli
means. Judge.
Are you in any way related to the no
porter. ..Nope?' replied the rectangular
but eminently astute old millionaire. You
| see all my children are boys."-Puck.
the proposed franchise?'' asked the inter- iins
viewer Before answering your ques-
should ike to know precisely what you
| mean by the word fixed Washington
TITS Unfortunate said Uncle Eben,
! dat man dom feel as much like swell
work as he does over winnin' a bet on
de races Washington Star.
Mrs. Hauskeep-suppose I should give
you q nice dinner today. what return
Hungry Higgfns-welI. ma'am, If
liked yer cookin' I'd return list as often as
I could, NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Press.
Father said the small boy. what is
1 a scientist?''
| "a scientist, my son. is a man who tells
you something you always knew in such
| long words that you fail to recognize it,
I-Washington Star.
| C1ergyman-Are you satisfied, madam
| to take this man your husband?
Bride-to-be-Well, not quite, but he's the
| best could get.-Life-
Newspaperdom must have heaved sigh
| of grateful relief when the news came