Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1905-12-07

up; uts tonne t. take yr insomnia
midicine.-Puck.
Yes, she's married to real estate
agent and good, honest fellow, too"
My gracious. Bigamy ?-Philadelphia
Press.
Jaggles-I see horse SHE'D at n
statue IN Central Park. Waggles-He
must have been one Of those educated
hOrses.-Puck.
First Loafer-Did you .ielp at the
fire last night? Second Loafer-Yes,
bit. l got out of the way of the fire
engine.-Puck.
Passenger-Have l time to say good
by to my wife? Conductor-Depends
on how long you've been married.
Fliegende Blaetter
Poet-This, sir. is the only poem l
ever wrote. Editor-Well, cheer up.
Nobodys going to take it away from
you.-Cleveland Leader.
What was your name before you
were married?" asked the Chicago
census taker. (Which time?' queried
the lady.-Detroit Free Press
what are the principal places of
interest about New York;" You'll
have to ask some stranger. I've lived
here all my life, you know" Judge.
Biffson-My wife always insists on
having the last word. Bangs-Well,
you're lucky. Mine always insists on
having the last dollar!-Detroit Free
Press.
Teacher Ito smallest boy in class)-
What well-known animal supplies you
with food and clothing. Smallest Boy
(after some thoughD-My father
Judge.
Papa, what's a man who runs an
auto called?" 1T depends on whether
he is being called by his employer or
by the man he has just missed
Houston Post.
II promised to make call to night"
said the man, preparing to go out.
VERY WELL" replied the wife: but
don't call unless you nave the cards.
Houston Post.
The Writer see you've got my
latest book there. What do you think
Of 1t? The Reader-Oh, I've only had
time to read the last few pages Of 1t
as yet-Tid-Bits
who is supporting Starlight this
, season" His WIFE" His wife!
Why, I never knew she was on the
stage" "She isn't; but she takes in
washing" -Baltimore American.
Singleton-Have you decided what
you are going to call the baby, old
man? ENTHUSIASTICALLY. I'm 60
ing to call him whatever my wife
names him.-Chicago Daily News.
Little Willie-Papa, why does the
railway company have those cases
with the AK and saw in every car?
Father presume they are put in to
use In case any one wants to open a
window.-Puck.
Hardupp-Have you f1ve-dollar bill
you don't know what to do with?
Smyke-Yes, here is one. Hardupp-
Thanks-but. l say, this is a counter
one l didn't know what to do WITH
Tales.
You haven't married me just to
spite somebody else, have you?" she
asked. looking anxiously up into his
honest blue eyes. mo, dear" he alb
ent-mindedly replied; ~ took you for
your money alone. "-Chicago Record
Herald.
Mrs. Binks-My husband did not
like that tea you sent us last. Grocer
(politely)-Did you like it. madam?
Mrs. Binks-Yes, liked it. Grocer Ito
clerk)-James! Send Mrs. Binks an
other pound of the same tea she had
last. Anything else, madam New
York Weekly.
MA" exclaimed Bobby, do you
like any one to bite you?" mo. dear;
why" "Well, Mr.. Buttin just bit sis
ter on the mouth, and she put her
arms around his neck and tried to
choke him. l guess she doesn't like
it, either. Puck.
How did you like my talk last
night?" asked the beginner in the lee
ture field. WELL" replied the candid
critic, you didn't take advantage OF
your many opportunities" II didn't"
mo, you had number Of opportunl-
ties to quit before you did."-Philadel-
phia Press.
"Mr. Rangle," said the book agent,
"can l sell you history Of Menard
County," why, that happens to be
the county l was born and grew up
in," said the lawyer; what is the book
WORTH -Four dollars copy" IN
take one" TO Mr.. Rangles intense
surprise the caller burst into tears.
whats the matter young man." he
asked; was the shock too great for
you?" "lt--it wasn't what | expect
ed" sobbed the book agent; IL had
made bbet Of five dollars you'd kick
me out"'-Chicago Tribune.