davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28
Hot Springs Fire.

Several letters have been received in Birmingham during the past day or so telling of the big confiagration at Hot Springs early Friday morning" said man about town yesterday afternoon.
 "i have just received letter from a friend of mine who went there several weeks ago to attend the races, and he tells me that he had a narrow escape with his life He had a suite of rooms in one of the Inflated hotels, and the building in which he was sleeping was on fire when he was awakened by the hotel fire alarm.
 He tells me in the letter that he was so excited that he lost all of his wear ing apparel and valuables with the excep- ton of his hat, a suit case, which was near the door of his room. and was. by the way. empty. and the robe de nuit he was wearing. Although it was a sad sight he added it was nevertheless anus ing to see the hotel guests walking around bare-footed with blanket or ouilt around their shoulders
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28
A J.U-JITsU EXPERIMENT.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer. MT Snodgers, do you understand the science of jiu-jitsu?"
 Slightly"
 How interesting. Can't you show me an experiment." 'I believe so.'
 "Oh, please do.''
 "Very well. Pray stand here Miss Flirtleigh.'
 Yes"
 Now, I will place my right arm about your waist-so.'
 Yes"
 And my left arm about your should ers-so."
 "Yesn
 And now. if you struggle you cannot get away until l release my grip. This is the best iiu-jitsu experiment l know. "Wonderful!"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28
CLEVER SCHEMES FOR
 EXPRESSING PEOPLE

tim that the third man, who is really a stranger in the offices, is a telegraph superintendent; it is easy to gull the victim when the three meet at their rendezvous afterwards.
 Much ingenuity is manifested by men with game in securing the theatrical proprietors to create the effect sought. In the Felix wire-tapping swindle a room was equipped with furniture and well-dressed ''supers,' who seemed to be betting money on the races. One of the men, who claimed to be able to secure promotion for policemen, had a photog- rapher flake" his likeness into group picture of President Roosevelt and some of his friends, in order to show that he was man of importance. A Pacific slope politician, who wanted to show his constituents that he stood well with the President, contrived to get a position within few feet of him when a fash light was taken of MT. Roosevelt on the rear platform of the presidential train. We have heard of an ambitious young promoter who accosted New York Senator in the lobby of Wash ington hotel and asked him the time of day In order to impress third party, who stood at a distance, that he was on speaking terms with political leaders
 If one could ignore the deceitful or criminal intent of such devices it would be possible to admire their cleverness and their artistic insistence on the dra- matic unities. The historian of the "Musketeers" would have been but an indulgent censor of them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28
REFLECTIONS or A BACHELOR

From the New York Press
 There is mighty little fun in being SC good that everybody expects you to live mp to it.
 When a man hasn't seen pretty girl for twenty years 1t would be better if he never saw her
 A man has to be very careful to pre- tend he is jealous or a woman won't be- lleve he loves her any more.
 A man never realizes how old he is un- til grown up girls try to make him think they don't believe he wears false teeth
 When . man is doing lot of work for politician he calls it diversion; when he is asked to rest at home with his family he calls it hard work.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

vantageous place in every respect and
 invite correspondence and proposl
 tions from cities or towns desiring q
 large and old-established iron busi
 ness. Our speciality is car wheels and cars of all sizes, and our trade extends to all parts of the Unted States as well as to all foreign countries and to all the different states using cars, large or small. whicl makes us always busy, and never dull or idle. We also do a general iron business of all kinds for the local trade, manufactur- ing the best stationary engines made in the United States. as well as saw mills and other machinery. building ana all kinds of castings. We have large works and wish to triple our capacity. and are well and favorably known all over this country, Mexico and Cuba-have just filled a large or. der of nine carloads of cars and car wheels to the United States govern ment, and are now figuring on a large requisition to go to Panama"
 There must be room in Alabama for the Peacock plant, big as it is, and the need of going over into Tennessee is imaginary. This district will have an open and direct waterway to the sea long before Chattanooga has an in direct one, and the other advantages of this district are distinctly better for a big foundry plant than Chatta- nooga or any town can possibly pre- sent. The Peacock plant should stay in the state in which it won a reputa- tion and a big business. and not go off to a state that is after all but an ad- junct of the Birmingham district.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28
Sea Level Plans.

The isthmisn canal commission has at length reached a conclusion. It has surveyed and probed and estimated and pondered, and it has matched out a sea-level canal with tidal locks only, all to be completed in about twelve years at a total cost of S230, 100000 Instead of a doubtful dam at Bohio there is to be one located on a solid foundation at Gamboa, with spillway through the mountain to carry off the surplus waters of the Chagres in wet weather.
 This outcome has long been antici- pated It has been discounted, and no doubt sea levo, canal will be dug. The canal is to be 35 feet deep, and a sea level canal can be readily deep. ened, if need be, without causing any interference with navigation. Every. thing in short favors a sea level canal, and opposes a canal of any level above the sea.
 This rich and growing country has undertaken the biggest construction and engineering work of all time and it cannot afford before the eyes of the whole world to do it in a partial or slipshod manner. A sea level canal is needed, and Chief Engineer Wallace says it will not cost much more than the country expected to spend on a canal S5 feet above mean tide.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28
WHAT'S IN A NAME?

New York-There was banquet al the Hotel Astor few nights ago att tended by fifteen of the most prominent police captains in the borough of Man hattan. An invited guest, rank out slider, made himself biographer for the evening. He counted ten different words used by the captains in place of money. T They were; Tin Cush.
 Gelt.
 Rocks
 Candy.
 Dough
 Sugar
 Mazuma.
 Glad Wealth
 The Welcome Green.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28
coRkY's RE BuKE,

From the London Chronicle.
 Anecdotes of Maxim Gorky are on the wing. Here is one they tell in Paris. He went to the theatre at Moscow one evening to- see q play by a popular writer. -sInstead of paying attention to the stage the entire audience rose and greeted Gorky with prodigious acclama- ton. Then he delivered this address:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

From the Baltimore American.
 Finncky Customer-Are these eandled eggs?
 Smart-Alecky Clerk-No, not candled, but. you see, they are all tapered at the end.
 And then the customer lit on him and he knew he had struck his match
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28
Report of Grand Jury.

T notice that the grand Jury which re. gently adjourned failed to call attention to the fact that an elevator is badly needed in the county courts building" remarked court house official yesterday morning.
 .,rhis is very peculiar indeed, in my opinion. do not think that any grand jury, with the exception of the one that has just completed it's fnai report has
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28
postmasters Appointed.

Washington, February z7.-Rural free delivery carriers appointed For Alabama routes: Jasper. route l. Charles L. Rosser carrier, Samuel San ders substitute; Marion, route l, George w. Hudson carrier Wat: Lovelace substitute: Tuscu..bia. route 1, Frank c. Whitmore carris~ Stephen Cooper substitute. John II. .iossett appointed postmaster at Blount Springs, Bount county, vice Jesse Armstrong, removed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

What on earth are you staring at me Ter! am not dancing girl. nor the venus or Milo, nor q drunkard just picked out of the river. I write stories: i: they have the luck to please you. and am glad of 1t. But that is no reason why you should keep on staring We have come here to see charming play. Be good enough to attend to that, and leave me alone.' More delighted than ever, the audience shouted with joy. Perhaps they thought they would get another speech. but Gorky jumped out of his seat and left the theatre in disgust.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28
COMMENTS ON MEN AND
 MATTERS OF THE WORLD

One of the "footlight favorites" who journeyed to the seat of war with Grand Duke Boris has arrived in New York and has of course been interviewed. She is known to fame as Heloise Titeomb and has winning way. Her pictures are also mot bad" and to say that she is not a live one" would be the grossest mis- representation. According to the story Miss Titcomb tells, she and her com panions had regular lark of time' and there wasn't slow moment until his dukeship was ordered to send the girls back to St. Petersburg. Miss Titcomb will do very well in this country and is going on a tour forthwith. Her Russian adventure will prove quite a boost in the profession. Such is yellow journal re- nownl
 The gentleman who murdered his wife by choking her to death with a shoe string will be hanged shortly. It would be interesting to know just why he did the deed with a shoestring when there are so many other more expeditions ways of choking a person to death. It would be a trle brutal to hint that the man Is something of a joker but he has queer ideas to say the least.
 Now that Judge Swayne is free to re- sume business the country is quit of very interesting case but one whose re- suit was a foregone conclusion from the start The vc1e of acqulttal was a strict party affair and whether Judge Swayne was guilty or not, it was hardly req sonable to suppose that his republican friends would consent to chop off his political head.
 The fire at New Orleans by which the Illinois Centrars terminals were destroy ed deserves to rank among the most spectacular, as well as the most expen- sive, since the disastrous Southern Pacific fire in San Francisco The view along the river front in New Orleans Sunday night must have been inspiring in the extreme. It is seldom that the Father of Waters has his majesty enhanced by such confiagration.
 A band of leJ Cheyenne Indians from Selling, Oklahoma, marched upon the town Taloga, threatening to massacre its entire population but were persuaded to return to camp by Wilshusan, daughter or Stone Chief ana wife of a white scout. This is not a bis of colonial history you are reading or an extract from Leather Stocking" novel, The incident happened last Saturday The Indian is the same old Indian and history repeats itself.
 ACCORDING TO OSTLER.
 Are vou nearing sixty
 Are you feeling blue;
 Does it really look like
 There's nothing left for you2
 If this is your condition Don't you be surprised
 The time is coming quickly When you'll be Ostlerized.
 It is really shame that the President is not paid q better salary. If no other way is feasible 1t might be arranged for the American people to give him tips, providing of course that Congress will agree. PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

Jacob Beilhart, leader of the Spirit Fruit cult, has made some new pro- nouncements that place him in the foolish" class without shadow of a doubt. Prophet Beilhart says the soul is not immortal, that Satan is right and God is wrong. It is one of the most which prevails in this country that such men as Beilhart are permitted to run at large. A cage is the best place for him and that is where he would be if his ideas were proclaimed in a less tolerant country than the United States.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

The Baltimore professor explains that the writing period of mans life begins at sixty. He has got more explanations coming to him. But if he will depart at once for Europe all will be forgiven.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

The bureaucrats are surprised that the people of Russla should attempt to butt into their governmental enter prise. It is impudent on the peoples part
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

Ex-Crown Princess Louise of Sax. ony will publish book of original poems expressing the emotions of her life. The volume will probably be bound in asbestos.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

Two Chicago policemen chased two robbers in their socks--the coppers and not the fugitives were without shoes-which just goes to show that Chicago is determined to suppress
 crime even at the cost of a bad cold.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

This season there will be girl in circus who will be paid $100 second for doing a thriller Looping-the- loop is getting to be the tamest ever.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28
About Persons.

About Persons. Prof. L. A Fealey of cullman is at the Morris. J. Il. Cross of Gadsden is at the Nor ris.
 T. c. White Of Baltimore is at the Nor ris.
 c. W. sproun of Anniston is at the Nor ris.
 E. NJ Riddle of Madison is at the Metropolitan. r. N. Propst of Fayette is at the Metro poitan. T. R. Gress of Savannah is at the St. Nchals. F j. Clark of Baltimore is at the St. Nicholas. Dr. L. Murphy Hand of Demopolis is at the St. Nicholas M. Joseph of Atlanta is at the Colonial.
 sss Charles Dent of Buffalo is at the Colonial. E. NJ. Ford of Huntsville is at the Hill- man.
 R. J. James of Louisville is at the Hill man.
 w. B. Tipton and T. c. Powell of Wash inpfon ara at the Hil1man
 
 Phil Painter, | well known newspaper man, who has been confined at the home of his father, Judge Painter at Brook wood. with several weeks Illness, is able to be out again and has returned to Birmingham
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

N MONO the worlds philanthro- \P11 pists don't forget the men who I 5 make you laugh The man who laughs himself does much to tighten your cares, for his good humor is conta- gious but the man, who by his art brings out a smile on a glum counten- ance like sunshine on cloudy day, de- serves place among those who have contributed to the happiness of life. Even though he may be working for fame and ducats and his talent is not em- ployed for charity, he does so much good that we could i'll afford to lose him out of the scheme of things The comedian who drives your frown away by his quips Is a philanthropist and the man who draws funny pictures belongs to the same class These gentlemen do not al- ways smile visibly and some of them may be rather glum in company but their laughter is the mirth of an inner being-the mirth of their souls. Sunshine is stored away in them for it is reflected in your face when you are at the thea tre and when you read the Sunday news paper.
 A Maryland man has obtained a di- vorce from his wife because she talked in her sleep and thus revealed the secret that she loves another. Never before was the golden quality of silence more strikingly Illustrated. It is bad enough to talk when you are awake but when you are asleep there is no telling what kind of trouble your conversation will bring upon you. Married men and women who have affections lon the side" would do well to profit by this example, discover if they talk in their sleep, and thereafter slumber with gags in their mouths.
 An Atlanta man who was "discovered' by his wife tried to climb up the chim- ney got caught on a nail and came very near to an untimely death, by being Smoked by his irate spouse. It Is as- tonishlng how much afraid a man can be of one woman-usually his wife.
 The St. Regis hotel is suing a New York man for big board bill. He ought to feel proud of himself
 At one of society's latest "razzle-daz- zles" favors worth $10,0O0 were distribut- ed Most people would prefer to have the cash.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28
Ball Players.

'I wonder if any one stops to think that the call of the umpire to play ball will bring about 1000 players to the south" !" said a fan yesterday. "How long some of them will stay is another question, but certain 1t is that they will come south ward from all parts of the country.
 "The eight teams of the Southern league have over 200 players signed, and about 19O of these will make good and stay in the league The South Atlantic league, the Cotton States league, the league be- ing organized in Virginia and the Texas State league all bring players south for the summer months, and then if the Tri- State league is organized this year it will mean that many more
 Besides these large leagues there are several smaller ones which pay players salaries. and each one adds to the mum Der of players in the south for the sum mer. I stopped the other day and figured it up and I was surprised
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

Niedringhaus proposes to run for ,ne Senate even as long as Addicks did, and to carry the charges under which he rests along with him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

Philadelphia is corrupt from choice. It is content to be rotten, especially in it's registration lists.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

Prince Khilkoff is the Russian min ister of railways. "Killoff would be a more suitable name.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

Paper money carries disease germs, but it is not customary to boil 1t. It is better to bale it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

All baseball teams look promising until the order comes, Play Ball." and then illusions disappear
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28
Excitement on the Trolley.

'It is unfortunate every one does not possess the power of self-control at all times and under all circumstances, said a gentleman at the Hlllman Sunday night "The disastrous stampedes. nota- bly, the lroquois theatre fire and the Shiloh church catastrophe of our own city, are invariably aggravated, if not entirely brought about by people los ing their head
 An instance of this excitability oc- cured on a Highland car Sunday after noon. The car was well filled with pas- sengers. most of them on pleasure rides laughing, chatting and at ease, when, without warning, the fuse at the for ward end of the car burnt out with a big sputter and considerable flame. Well sir, in two seconds those people were walking over one another, igura- lively speaking, in their endeavor to get out.
 "The whole affair was over in few seconds, and the passengers were calmed, not however, until some had succeeded in making an exit ana others had gotten their hats knocked awry and their toes trampled on. I was particularly impress ed by the agility of an elderly man shar- ing my seat. One would quite naturally conclude his gray locks and rheumatic gait would preclude cly hurry and high stepping, but that old gentleman was on his feet at the first flash and he went out of that car SD fast spectator ,fe,l,f inIx ka haJ ff1to the seventh circle of Dante's Inferno.
 "A moments deliberation and no doubt everyone in the car would have known that no danger was imminent. In case of this nature, there is safety in quiet.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

The twelve-mile tunnel under the Alps must stand pat for it is no light job to lower it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

Parson Deyo, who claims that a woman wrote him 300 letters, ought to go into the book business.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

The worlingmen in Russia are the only ones that are organized, and the political revolution is therefore pro gressing through them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

Owners of land in Esopus valley are anxious to sell their property to the city of New York It is not believed that there will be another boom.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

Senator Quarles will soon be Judge Quarles out in Wisconsin. He was fixed by President Roosevelt.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

Vladivostok is about to follow Port Arthurs example.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

The beef trust and John D. Rocke- feler will not march in the inaugural parade.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

A German noble entertained a mon- key at a London club. The chances are that the monkey did not lack company.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

Tip for Kansas: It Is rumored that rockefeller will build new $1,000,000 mansion overlooking the Hudson.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

The whipping-post is entirely too good for punishing the average wife beater.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

for the past ten years failed to recom- mend the installation of an elevator.
 An elevator is needed in the building and needed badly, but I think that it will be many years before we get one. It is up to the Board of Revenue. and that body seems to think, like its predeces- sors, that the funds for court house i'm provements and repairs are not excess siveo
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28
MODERN MATRIMoNY.

There was a young lady in Baltimore Who wanted to be led to the altar more; To the divorce court she hurried away And got another husband that very same
 day,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

The barber maid is popular in Kan sas City, but it is hard to turn her down when she suggests hair tonic.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

The Osler theory should be applied in baseball
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

Only papers with large staffs can interview Mrs. Hoch.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

The trouble with Buffalo Bill is, he is not on the water wagon.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

That Baltimore professor should have consulted Grandpa Gassaway Davis.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

The men of Kansas have simply caught the spirit of Sister Carrie Ma ton.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

The Fifty-eighth Congress goes into history with the present week. It's record will not dazzle coming genera tions.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

It is a bad sign when the buzzards hang lazily over the city of Panama.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

A fortune awaits Charles Spry in Ohio. He ought to step lively.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

All lovers will take the Simplon tunnel route, twelve miles long.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

Hoch may yet start correspond ence school of matrimony.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

European Queens are generally colo nels, but it is not customary to ad dress them by their military titles.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

L. H. Russ and M. W. Carlisle are the only authorized traveling representatives of The Age-Herald in its circulation de- partment
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

It begins to appear that jiu-jitsu Is not what it was cracked upto be.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28
CANDLES OR PAPERS?

The Simplon tunnel is victory over nature.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

General Stoessel finds himself d hero even among the bureaucrats.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

No communication will be published without its authors nt ne. Rejected manuscripts will not be returizd unless stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

N-~-@-@S-~>~-~- Entered a the Birmingham. Ala, post office as second-class matter under act Of Congress- March 5, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28

It is really a shame that the President is not paid better salary. If no other way is feasible 1t might be arranged for the American people to give him tips, providing of course that Congress will agree PAUL COOK,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-02-28
ACCORDING TO osTLER

ACCORI IuNG IU Us I1EI.. Are you nearing sixty, Are you feeling blue; Does it really look like There's nothing left for you2 If this is your condition Don't you be surprised; The time is coming quickly When you'll be Ostlerized