New-York tribune., 1905-01-01

Happy New Year to yOa'' was tns An<~s~shs
usually got
open New Year. you mean she rssSzass Win
much glee.
There are time honored Jokes that 10 WIN sns
New Years Eve celebration. the popularity whiah
does not seem to lessen with the annual rspsti-
tion. For instance. two young men with POWERFUL
horns go into a barroom- They blow such mighty
blasts that thinks the horns muss bs stssn-
horsepower
What youss tryin' z doT' the bartender de-
mands. want to make every one deef. shr'
The young look at him blankly. Than thay
look at each other. Finally OF them pulls out
pencil and pad pushes it before the surprised
bartender. indicating that he Is TO writs out his
complaint
wouldn't that make you madr' the bartender
is likely to ask IN disgust. "A couple ok dummies
raisin' Cain an not able Z hear itr'
An old time circus clown trick Is oftsn repeated
in uptown rathskellers. It was worked iass night.
This Is the way IL was done. A heavy set In
dividual. hts fat face wrinked into continual
laugh, wandered into one OF the popular Broadway
places and without sound took a seat at q vacant
table. Suddenly he pulled out q horn and began
TO blow 1t herceIy. The head waiter rushed up 70
his table and told him that that sort cf thing didn't
go In that particular resort.
"Au ri " was the amlable reply. You can have
him. and he handed over the horn.
No sooner had the head waiter turned his back
than the fellow pulled out another and smaller
horn and footed it with great slea. The head
waiter rushed back TO the table
Now, my man. this Will never do he remon-
was matter now the ceiebrator demanded. IN
noeently. taking the horn from his lips
IAN ri" came the smiling answer, and again he
Tbe performence was repeated ab~SSt dozen
times before the supply OF horns gave, ~ -
honored with a rOusing celebration sr1ang -
the police more men started the new CO & iTy uNes N
cafe that ceiebrafed its i60th anniversary that
Mig
business district. not far from trinity ChHISn- I'll
1900 the place had been run by two 'Old IoIs-
father and son. Five or six years before the end o.
the century the surviving Od LON TS+iO oeS 10 ' be
would give them the night the century % en9e9, n
His wldoW% % tooA 49, ~ bny, She decided to carry
toms 5b15.s SU. md NE pI5ns All sorts of old fashioned
spDng their toddies punches about tho tables
memory Of the late "oId Tom and to the hsalEn o.
oyer on the Bowery the eeebEatio3s somstirss
become very roush EdIy @ LI is' besrinE ana found
himself in the region where the liquor slgns & rssa
across a dozen biuejackets from some ship under
repairs at the New-York Navy \ Hatu - ov IS - CsngS9n
flank of the cruiser sO-and-So, and that tnsy
could e9nfqep fbam Down the Bowery un they
to a brightly lighted saloon In rronr OK IL WefS
nav owe Wit viii lombard the placer he CRIED pointing
OgT a9d ta9 eD b1 70 lead the eight tnah Ens w- As
AF1S The sailors seized upon the beer kssA
Three kegs crashed through the big window OK
The bartenders and bouncers rushed out reaay 20
raneI the attack They fell back rom tno sono
mont presented by the blue Jackets. the man Wno
IMAGINED himself captain walked bis crew up 70 tnS
bar and ordered drinks. When all nad been sesyeo
he demanded to know the amount or dar1lags cons
TO the window and paid Il IA. -.
when the fun pals at the uptown. canes. many
sc,rrv down TO Chinatown for further revels and
~ aaf the curious chuck mixtures served a. rns
Chinese restaurants. One crowd, few years ago
laid in a supply of papier machie snakes Win ploe-
nhOrescent ewes In many OF the restauranL5 they
fornd men doing the tables. They would
sDread ont hideOuS snakes and tneG WaksA th9
sleeper suddenly. The effect was INSTANTANEOUS ana
decidedly dtvertlng. -. - -.
Of 1eIl that the cops about Madison Square were
startled by series OF sharp reports llks those OF
revolver duel. They ran in the direcuon or tns re-
norris 10 ind one young stretched OUT on the
KrotInd and another standing over him with what
sDrop that gun" cried tho first policeman On tns
scene drawing his own revolver.
srbe Young man held up his hands and lee th8 20
liceman approach. The bluecoat grabbed for what
more tangerous than a glass imitation allied with
little red candies The young man stretched on the
pavement was doubled up with laughter that he
could hardly arise. Scattered about was the red
paper from the hrecrackers which had furnished
the noise.
You two chase yourselves he ordered ~or
III you IN