The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-04-01

w. youlB man. He
-. Is, ne struggled all right, but he
couldn't get away.
Dolly-He's one of those man u,ho
wont take no for an answer Madga
what are you going to do? Dolly
why tell him yes.-Town Topics
friend-What is hope? Poet-1ts
something that wakes You nm M forr
. CLOCK In the morning when the post
man doesn't come around till ten
Rams Horn.
He-My father is a banker. and has
never s,' oeen inside theater in his life.
she-Really? My father is an actor
ana has never been inside a bank in
his life.-Judy.
Newrich-How'd you get along at
tne dinner? Mrs. Newrich-Flne.
When they eat pie with fork. done
IT, 100 so as not to let 'em see their
oreak.-New York Sun.
Judge-The next person who inter.
rupts the proceedings OF this court
VIII be expelled from the room! Pris-
oner-Hoo-ray. Whoopee-ee! Now.
femme go!-Chicago News.
Bank Presldent-We're ruinedl The
cashier has absconded with one hun
dred thousand dollars. Director-
Don't get excited. He has left a note
orering to take us into partnership.
Mrs. Oatcake (reading newspaper
Gracious mel Mr.. Murdoch has been
arrested. 1t was discovered that he
had twenty wives, and all are living!
Farmer Oatcake-O-oh. another case
OF Brigham PUCK.
Boarder (warmly)-Oh. l know ev-
cry one Of the tricks Of your trade.
Do you think have lived in boarding
houses twenty years for nothing >
Landlady (frigidly)-I shouldn't be at
all surprised.-New Yorker.
let me see, a cynic Is aman who
is tired Of the world, is he not?" the
young student of language asked.
mo, no, my child" replied the know
Ing tutor; "a cynic is a man OF whom
the world Is tired. Pick -Me-Up.
The Senator-Why mustn't | vote
for that bill? Constituent-Beca
the people don't want it, Senator. The
Senator-What have the people got
to do with it? Amt election over
hey Courier-Journal.
After the wedding: He-What are
you crying for, love? She-Over
papa's wedding present-boo-hoo
He-Why, what's the matter with til
She-It's nothing but receipted bill
for the gas we used up during our
courtship.-Pick-Me-Up.
Uncle John-So you don't like your
teacher. Tommy? Tommy (savagely)-
No, l don't l wisht he was ut the
bottom Of the sea! Uncle JOhn-Oh
come now. Tommy! That's too mucl
to say. Tommy-Well, l wisht hi
was at the bottom Of Jones' mill pond
then.-Philadelphia Press.
Just resentment: Young Husband
Bertha, did you ask the grocer Il
show you some Of those seedless bean!
l was telling you about this morning
Young Wife-Yes, and if you wan
your slippers warmed before you pu
them on you can warm them yourself
sir. l won't-Chicago Tribune.
The Man-Your daughter telephones
me to call and fix your piano. He
Father-what's the matter with it
The Man-One of the strings 1
broken. Her Father-What will
cost to repair the broken string? Tn
Man-Two dollars. Her Father
Well. here's IS. Break the rest o
'em.-Chicago News.
paw" asked little Johnny, what
compromise?" THAT, my son" re
nl,ed the wise father, depends o.
whom it's made with. For instance
n make a compromise with a busi
ness man, go about half way. Blu
n make a compromise with you
mother. why. I-er-I go all the way
Houston Chronicle.
"What do you think of Keats 'Od
on a Greclan UrnY" asked Mrs. ol
castle as they slipped their tea in tn
mo onif,cent library Il think he
bostess replied. IF he'd Of been
gentleman he'd of paid 1t. Josiah say
neople never ought to have luxurie
that they have to get trusted TOT :
chicago Record-Herald.
. "Now. try to remember" said IL
.ooobar that Horatius won his glor
Inv his performance at the bridge. A
U.avs keep that thought in mind an
/ ~ will help you to be brave an
oh,oY "Huhr' sneered Johnn
..that amt nothin'. You see my
; and ma at bridge almost every nigi
; tn the week."-New York Herald
) 81 wish to get excused this afte
= NON A." said Bizzlethorp. as he a
nroacbed the general managers desl
| won see they've put me down 10 a
"a a pallbearer at funeral Ce
? ta,nIv. 90 ahead. But you don't see
= - Feel very sad about it." mo. he
) the fellow my wife has always bee
I hoIding ND to me as a model
: Chicago Record-Herald.
! Mrs. Pugh-Our minister says ne
! going to change the last part OF q
] service. Mrs. Knave-Does he tn li
he can improve it2 Mrs. Pugh--N
e hr+ he thinks it's necessary. lnste'
: 80 saving. Let us sing the Doxology
- ~ is going to say: Let us adjust o
t clothes. slip on our gloves grab o
+ hats, forget all about the Lord al
: 10 dismissed. Cincinnati CONNIE
cial Tribune.
Y She Was Hopeful.