New-York tribune., 1905-11-08
THE TALK or THE DAY.

George A Marden. of Lowell Mass. entered
little restaurant at Boston the other day while
waiting for train. After little deliberation he
asked the waiter for "a plate of fly specks. The
waiter reported the uucomplimentary request the
proprietor. whereupon the latter approached Mar
den and informed him that they did not serve fly
specks
Then" said Marden, why don't you take them
off the bill of fare?"
What Shall We Do with Our Boys?-Father-
Now, Sir William l want Jack to go into busi-
ness his mother wants him to read for the bar
Sir William Grubbe-You go into business my
Oc Jack (emphaticaly5~o 1t Sir william I've quite
decided to take the matters advtce-(Punch
Kansas City man up to lecturer in a
hotel there. saying with enthusiasm:
Well. sir. 1 enjoyed your lecture very much
last night
Il didn't you there.
oh, I wasn't there.
We'll, what do you mean by telling me you en-
soyed my lecture. and you were not present."
"Oh. I bought tickets fo- my girls father and
mother. and they both went
The lecturer felt that he had not talked in vain
A Difficult Course-Fax-There a man who is
learning sef-denial by correspondence.
Sax-By correspondence?
and he has at colege."-Uife
La Monde Moderne." of Paris. describes two
little English cities near Paris. Chantilly and
Maisons-I Iaftte have become Anglicised because of
the racing establishments there Their streets
are filed with English sportsmen English horse
trainers and English Jockeys. A great stable is
la belled in capitals Box Hall; bar has the sign
English Tavern and there is an English Protest
ant Episcopal church. The English rector and
cu-ate are familiar figures in the town. Altogether
these cities have become about as English as any
thing in England
CUPID'S GAME.
Love is a game of cards best:
Kings Queens and knaves and all the rest
Are in the pack. but no one 1 knows So
out to sentimental guest.
sibyl-her smiles proclaim NJ. her blest;
She holds trump. which clearly shows
Love is game.
Dick finds that Diamonds give zest;
Spades terminate Myrtflia's woes:
1Iut When it comes to pleasing Rose
Love is Il game. -CPuck.
fire occurred on premises rented by Jews in
London The circumstances We're somewhat sus
nicio1s and an agent of the insurance company
with which the property was insured was sent to
investigate. He interviewed the senior partner
and also the junior partner. TO the probable
cause OF the fire This his report Il find
that the senior partner thinks il caused by
arc light the second floor: the junior partner
thinks it caused by an incandescent light on
the first foor-but my opinion is that it was caused
by an lsraelite in the basement
Bella-So she's engaged at last! She seems
likely TO beat US all in the matrimonial race
Stea-Yes; she is on her last lap this time
illustrated Bits.
English newspapers tell of young cabman
birmingham who. by his resemblance to her dead
SON attracted the fancy Of a wealthy old woman
She bequeathe6 him fortune condition that
he became educated gentleman. The cabman
studied the classics enough to fit himself for Ok
ford or Cambridge but doubted whether he knew
enough of the OF young gentlemen to
conduct himself properly in their society. So put
ting pride in Lis pocket. he obtained place
.scout" or servant, OF those seats of
learning and prohted much by what he saw
nd observed in this humble position that when
ne eventually proceeded to the other university
as a student he was able pass creditably-
THE MUSE OF COMMERCE.
There's the sneezy cold. the wneezy cold
The ticker in the CLOTHS;
The chilly cold. the killy cold.
The cold that burning hot is
The fearful cold the fearful cold.
The one that all the lot Is
yet these be colds that none endure
Who purchase IS Great peppermint Cure-
auckland tNsw-ZaalanD Weekly News