The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-16

he robbed safe so they could give
New Orleans Times Democrat
HVM0R or THE DAY
wanted-A good ONCE boy. one who
never forgets, who could keep his mouth
yet who is always on time; who can talk
politely over the TELEPHONE, and who does
not know how to whistle. Salary, ten thou
sand year.-Life.
The Waiter-Whatss for you, sir2
The Professor (engrossed in a problem)-
In the correlation Of forces it is a recog-
nlzed property of atomic fragments, what
ever their age, to join and
wigEs-I hear that they. are arranging
,waggs-In the East or the Equitabie7-
Don't. try to make a preacher out Of
boy born to be a shoemaker" exclaimed
Unele George to Willie's father.
1t seems to be a question of making q
sole that viii last thought Willie, who
was listening at the keyhole.-Cincinnat
Commercial Tribune.
Archimedss had announced that II he
had q lever long enough he could move the
Suppose you go out into the garden
and move little Of it with a spade" sug-
gested his wife, who had become tired Of
his everlasting dreaming.
At which point. thinking the story need
Cd no explanatory diagram, ne suffered the
incident TO ciose-Chicago Tribune.
Molly-Cheliy carries his head wen.
.Dolly-Neil. he ought TO- It's no hard
task. sursly.-Clevsland Leader.
Robert-weI. how's your friend Mary,
who married that rich young chap. get
Ahce-oh, nnely. She's as happy as can
Robert-Do they keep a carriage7
Aice-Oh, yes. rather-in the front hall
Ally sloper's Half Holiday.
II don't see what you md SO attractive
N that young man said one girl He is
No answered the other, but he has
the reputation of buying lovely engage
ment rings. Wa shington Star.
He-This is the. city hail, my dear.
Shells this where the grafters have
1 their headquarters, JOSIAH
He-Hush, Marie. That sounds a little
offensive.
The Janitor-There amt no grafters on
exhibition today, ma'arn. The city coun-
cilmen have all gone to see the baIlgams.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
BE very careful that you do not speak
hastily the Russian priest adnonished a
what viii be the end of a word.
doubtful.
LAS IT," he afterward explained to his
comrades, you wouldn't know in nine
cases out Of ten the end of the word
would be sky NEW Orleans Times
Democrat.
All said Mrs. Oldcastle, as the hostess
poured her cup Of tea, my. Fidus
yes. I knew 1t was. I always keep a
little Of Il in the house specially for you,
although Josiah wants his strong enough
to burn hole in a blanket. ''-Chicago
Record-Herald-
| There goes some more of my money"
said Nordy. for champagne dinners
! Been arranging to give one?' inquired
only by proxy, I've just increased my
life Insurance. Louisville Courier-Jour-
nal.
.Clerk-Let me show you our latest ma
chimes. We have an automobile now that
can climb any hill on earth
Chauffeur-That's nothing. The last one
you. sold me tried to climb tree.-Chica-
go News.
Mrs Jenks-He's got queer old fashion
l ed ideas about everything. He's an anti
Mrs B1Ii-An anti-aquarfun, Ell? Wen.
I'm opposed to such things, too. I don't
| think it's right to keep fish cooped UP in
glass globes.-Philadelphia Ledger
Some men," remarked the observer of
events and things, feel as pleased when
a dog Wags his tail he passes as a wo-
man does when she learns that her hat Is
| on straight. '-Yonkers Statesman.
you reckon Wen worry wen we gifts
TT ali depends replied Brother VIII
liams. Fer instance, eff you happen ter
be in de place whar dey got wings ter fly
wild. en- dey keeps you flynn Wen you
wants ter rest; or if you lands in de
yuther place whar de fire'n SINCE every
feather on you. Atlanta Constitution.
DROUGHT.
| New tell me, great psychologist
You know it well. I troW-
| Why goeth yonder farmer
! With a darkling, cIouded brow. IL
| III tell thee, gentle student
| The answer is quite plain
| He goes with darkling, clouded brow
| Because he wishes rain.
Columbia Jester.