davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-02-02
ETHG1NF@
SGoFEEsSIfzS

Mr. Marke-"How are fish biting.
sonnyw Tommy Bobs-"same as us
ual, sir-with their mouths. "-PhiIadel-
phia Record.
so you're in society," YES" In
real societys' yes" "Way-up soci-
etyg" Yes" Does society know
itT'-Chicago Post.
At a meeting OF engine-drlyers the
following toast was offered: ITO our
mothers-the only faithful tenders VINO
never misplaced switch '-Tit-Blts.
Lots Of men would leave their footprints
Times eternal sands TO grace,
Had they gotten mothers slipper
At the proper time and place.
New York Sun.
III some folks could be as eloquent
in lookin' foh work. said Uncle Eben.
-as dey is in kickin' bout deir luck,
/ reckons dey'd git a job. Washing
ton Star.
''No man. said the large WASTED
philosopher, ''will ever sueceed in poll
ties If lie says everything he thinks,
or thinks everything he says."-In-
dianapolis News.
Short-"If / had as much money as
you have l wouldn't be so blamed
stingy with it," Long-'My dear boy,
that is the very reason you never have
it.n-Chicago News.
"The Blowletts seem to be very much
cut up over their uncle's DEATH Yes.
believe they're about fifty thousand
dollars more sorry than they expected
to be. Brooklyn Life.
A Aoorwalker pacing his aisle,
In a day covered many a mais.e.
How rarely" quoth he,
"ls it granted to see
A man OF my figure and staislel'
Puck
"Have you ever written anything
that you were ashamed ofg' inquired
the the severe relative. "No," an
swered the author "But / hope to
some day l need the money. Wash
ington Star.
'That new neighbor of ours must
be a very wasteful woman" he COM
mented. "Why?" she asked. Be
cause" he replied, she's throwing that
voice of hers all about the neighbor-
hood instead of saving it up for use
as a le"-Chicago Post.
Cant somebody part themY ex-
claimed one of the Mortified bystand-
ers Part them? Not muchr' said the
man who was nearest to the scene of
excitement Stand back and let them
fight it out. Ones an encyclopedia
canvasser and the others map ped
dleIu-Chicago Tribune.
Ascum-"Y husband appears to
be man of-er-great self-control."
Mrs Strongmind- Tes." Ascum-'I
suppose he inherited that trait from
his father, who was so famous" Mrs.
Strongmind (significantly)-"No. It's
a virtue he acquired since his nxr-
riage e"-Philadelphia Press.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-02-02

Out Of 139 decoy prescriptions sent
out by the Illinois Board OF pharmac..
TO Chicago druggists to be filled, TWEEN
U-three contained no trace of the drug
called for. sixty-six were eighty per
cent. impure, ten were twenty per cent.
impure, and only thirty-one were pure,
states the Pathfinder As result the
board will prosecute 100 druggists for
selling impure drugs.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-02-02

It takes ages to change the CONNER
cial and financial centre of the world
says the Kansas City Journal Whpn
one is once established 1t shifts taraily,
and only long after It has ceased 10
be the most convenient place for the
greatest number OF people. There have
been but a comparatively few such
centres in the history OF commerce.
For centuries Their location was on
the Mediterranean Sea or its tributar-
les. Carthage. Rome, Constantinople,
Vienna followed one another at long
intervals With the growth of the
Anglo-Saxon and Germanic races and
the development OF ocean traffic the
location shifted to Northern Europe.
Then came Bruges. Antwerp, Ainster
dam. and finally London, where 1t still
remains. But the signs OF the times
now point to another change. The
United States holds one-fourth OF the
worlds stock Of gold ana controls oyer
one-thlrd Of the worlds banking power.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-02-02
snnspots and Earthauakes..

Sir Norman Lockyer points out that
the diseasters in Martinique and st.
Vincent occurred at "a well-defned
sun-spot minimum" and, research hay-
ing shown beyond question that the
most disastrous volcanic eruptions and
earthquakes generally occur. like the
rain pulses in India, round the dates of
the sunspot minimum and maximum, .
he is inclined TO accept the theory,
first advanced fifty years ago, that
there Is a connection between solar
and seismic activity. One would per-
haps expect the neighboring moon TO
produce a more marked effect upon
the earth's surface than the vaster but
more distant sun, and, as a matter of
fact. at the beginning of the second
week in May, when st. Pierre was
overwhelmed, the moon was in the
best possible position relatively to sun
and earth to make her tidal influence
felt. But there are other forces in the
universe besides that Of gravity, though
they are not so clearly understood.
1t is known. for instance, that sunspet
periods have an undoubted connection
with Indian rains and Arctic aurorae,
and it would be rash to deny that the
sympathy between sun and planet is
more than skin deep.-London Graphic.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-02-02

Sir Albert Rollit in London remarked
recently: Law and equity are two
things which God has joined together
and man has put asunder. Whel a
prisoner in Justice Maule's court was
asked whether he had anything to say
why sentence should not be pro-
nounced upon him, be replied: Il wish
God may strike me dead If stole tie
ducks Maule waited for about n
minute, and then said: Prisoner. as
Providence has moi lnterfered | nust.
Three months hard labor A Mayer
on taking his seat on the beEch for the
first time informed the bar that during
his year Of Office he would spare 10
effort 10 be neither partial nor impa.
tial.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-02-02
The RUNNERS.

For / run not alone,
There run with me the Silent Three.
Through fields the dead have sown.
One with a sweet and piteous smile
The tireless Past-ah, he viii last
For many footsore mile.
And one the Now-wth stern, white 2, 1e-
Who gives no heed though do bleed
Along the thorny ways.
One with a masked face. lips dumb,
Beckons my soul to some blind goal
The wrath of Things to Come.
Nay, I run not alone.
There run with me the Silent Three,
Through fields the dead have sown.
Emery Pottle, in Everybody's Magazine.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-02-02
" PURIFY GOOD.

Success is comm kind o. slow;
Luck never baked my game,
/ hoped for it some years ago;
Somehow it never came
! git most all the ills that fly
Around the neighborhood;
But otherwise l can't deny
I'm doin' purity good.
must admit a certain pride
When countin' up the score.
No tunnel, nor no trolley ride
Has left me smashed an sore.
The gold brick an the buneo game
As yet / have withstood.
I've made no bit, but. ies' the same,
I'm doin' purity good.
Washington Star.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-02-02

Why do we always talk OF putting
on our coats and vests, when we al
ways put on first our vest and then
our coat?
Why do we refer to the coverings Of
our feet as shoes and stockings, when
the stockings are first put ons
Why do we invite people TO wipe
their feet, when we mean their shoes?
Why, in the olden times, did father
tell his son he would warm his jacket.
when every one knew lie meant his
pantaloons!
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-02-02

Those census figures showing there
are more men than women in.this coun-
try were issued a trife too late TO be-
come a leap year inspiration. the Bal
timore sun observes.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-02-02

The proposed use of telephones in
church will certainly dispose of tile
excuse that it is difficult TO hear the
minister; and incidentally make it more
than ever incumbent on the minister
TO make himself worth being heard,
declares the Massachusetts Plough
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-02-02

The American hens lay eggs enough
in one month to pay the interest on
the national debt for that time. accord
ing to the latest Official cackleation,
states the Boston Herald
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-02-02

The oldest best man. Of the year is
probably Joseph L. Morris, Of New
Bedford, n. J. He acted in that ca
pacity It the wedding Of his son, which
occurred on the old mans one hun
dredth birthday. This certainly dis
proves the old adage about the good
dying young.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-02-02

A Delaware man has asked the
Mayor Of Chicago to find him a wife.
Hasn't he the fare to reach Chicago,
OF does he insist on the fair coming 10
him? asks the Chattanooga Times.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-02-02

A New York physician wants $1,000
600 to encourage the study of hypno-
tism. He might follow the crooks
usual plan and study hypnotlsm as 4
means of getting the $1,0oOO0O.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-02-02

Madrid cables a report OF women in
duiging in a riot. This is the first we
knew of the existence Of department
stores in Madrid.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-02-02

Every father and mother Of children
will be glad to get one Of those Cali
fornia machines that is guaranteed 20
answer questions.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-02-02

The Kansas City man who was
robbed of $500 while in jail will prob
ably be more careful about going to
Jail hereafter.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-02-02

There are now being constructed in
front of New York theatres automatic
cab calls, numbers "a electric lights
being shown. A similar device has
been designed to show the names Of
stations on railroad trains.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-02-02

Naturally one of the important exer
cises in the auto school consists in
breaking down and getting patched up
again.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-02-02

"Ah." said the Author. putting his
arm round the Girls waist. hut | love
you. love you. love you"
And the Girl didn't run away En-
eric Hulme-Beaman, in the Sketch.
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1905-03-02
A Surprised Messenger.

Leisurely vending his way along
South Penn square yesterday. abb
sorbed in the perusal of gpudy-backed
literature, was a boy in uniform who
tailed in every respect with the joke
messenger boy. Several times he col
lided with pedestrians without relax
ing interest in the thrilling narrative.
1t was not until another messenger
boy on a dead run darted past that the
leisurely Mercury issued from obliv-
ion. He turned an astonished eye on
the speeding youngster. "Wot's de mat
ter. Reddy?" he drawled. 'Ain't you
'?"-Philadelph Ledger.
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1905-03-02
BOY HAD AN EXPLANATION.
Example of the Original View Of
Things a Child May Take.

In their efforts 20 teach children.
writes Edwin J. Prindle. In st. Mich
olas. parents are often surprised by
the original views which the young
sters take, and by their presentation
of views which. while they may be but
partial, are at least correct and dis
eliminating so far as they 60
IT occurred to father. who noticed
carpenter hammering upon the roof
of distant house. that he would give
his little son Is years old lesson in
physics by calling attention to the fact
that the blows OF the hammer could
be seen before the sound made by
them could be heard. and explaining
that the difference in time between
the seeing of the blows and the hear
ing OF the noise was dse to the fact
that light i,avels much faster than
sound. He sought to introduce the
subject by asking the boy il he under
stood why 1t was that he could see
the hammer fall before he could hear
the noise of the stroke. He was as
tonished to receive the reply. Yes;
it's because my eyes are nearer to the
hammer than my ears"
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1905-03-02
Perspective Of Light.

Velasquez recognized that light is
elastic and Eliminates the air. Hence
he was the first TO discover new
kind of perspective. Men long ago
had learned to make lines vanish
from the eye; to make the figure5 d.
minish in size and shape as they re-
cede from the front; and to explain
the distance by contrasts of light and
shade. But he discovered the per
spective of light By the most deli
cate rendering of the quantity of
light reflected from each and every
part of the room and the figures and
objects in It, he has given to the lat
ter the reality of form and to the
room its holiowness and distance
st. Nicholas.
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1905-03-02
Mule and Rule.

At one of the Western army posts
in the days of the Indian fights there
was young lieutenant who was care.
full to see that the regulations relat.
ing to saluting were faithfully OBJ
served. One day soldier who was
leading an obstreperous mule to wat
er and had both hands fully employed
in the task was met by the lieuten-
ant. The soldier. who had an occupa-
ton which demanded his undivided
attention, failed to salute the mart.
net. who Immediately called him to
account fo- his remissness
why do you not salute an office.
when you see him?" he demanded.
You hold this mule and | will"
calmly returned the man.
But the lieutenant did not insist
and the regulations were broken.
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1905-03-02

weight from the ground. the pain was
SO severe. This was my condition
when l began using Doan's Kidney
Pills. They quickly relieved me and
now / am never troubled as l was.
My back is strong and | can walk or
ride a long distance and feel just as
strong as did twenty-five years ago.
l think so much of Doans Kidney
Pills that have given a supply of the
remedy to some of my neighbors and
they have also found good results. If
you can sift anything from this RAM
bling note that will be of any service
to you, or to anyone suffering from
kidney trouble. you are at liberty to
do So
A TRIAL FREE-Address Foster
Milburn Co. Buffalo. n. Y. For sale
by all dealers. Price, so cents.
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1905-03-02
the DoubIy Cursed.

Two <puls arrived in heaven. one day
And stood before the great. white
throne.
And one of them looked up to say:
My name and work to few are known.
Born whole the gloom OF want was thick
And gripped by poverty. l tried
To be IL use. to cheer the sick
And three men wept the day | died..
C. yonder. said the master where
The proudest spirits congregate;
Be one of the ernobled there.
Thou art enrolled among the great"
The other spirit bowling low,
Said: Il was born prince and reIs ned
As king for many years: the woe
Existing when my c: own was gained
l did not by jot increase.
My realm upon the day | died
Had Just as much of joy and peace
As when my sire was thrust aside"
Cas-, out. with bitter murmu,ings
He SIN ank away beneath the curse
Tney merit who might better things
And merely do not make them woru,.
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1905-03-02
VERY MUCH TANGLED UP.



''I'll tell you how it is" said the old
carpenter. Il met a young widow with
a grown-ur step-daughter. and | mar
ried that widow.
Then my father met our step
daughter and married her. That made
my wife the mother-in-law of her faith
er-in-law. and made my stepdaughter
my stepmother. and my father became
my step-son See!
Then my step-mother. the step
daughter of my wife. had son. That
boy was. of course. my brother. be-
cause he was my fathers son; but he
was also the son of my wife's step
daughter. and therefore her grandson.
That made me grandfather of my step
brother. Then my wife had a son.
MY mother-in-law. the step-sister
Of my son, is also his grandmother.
because he is her step-son's child. My
father is the brother-in-law of my
child. because his step-sister is his
wife. ! am the brother of my own son.
who is also the child of my step
grandmother am my mothers
brother-in-law, my wife is her own
child's aunt, my son is my fathers
nephew. and I'm my own grandfather
and | can't stand il"
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1905-03-02
He Got Even.

Eyes. used to be in the insurance
business. once got mar to take
out $50 coo policy only about a
week before he happened to be killed.
He was mighty hard chap to lar d.
too. had to talk to him for nearly
six months before l got him."
That was tough on the company. !
suppose you regretted. after it was
all over. that your persuasive powers
were so good
"Jm-no. never felt sorry about
1t. married the widow"
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1905-03-02

Red will annoy a turkey cock as
much as bull. but sparrow WIN not
let it disturb its mind. But il one
flirts blue rag in front OF Gagged
sparrow's eyes he will go frantic with
disgust. Spa-rows and linnets, too.
will refuse food offered them on a
piece of blue paper and dislike the ap.
pearance of any one wearing blue
dress. Medium light blue affects them
most and blue serge they scarcely
mind at all. Thrusbes and blackbirds
object to yellow. but will use red or
blue dried grasses left about their
haunts to build the outlayers of their
nests. Yellow grasses they va NOT
use.
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1905-03-02
HOW TO TELL A BOILED EGG.
Betting Man Made Money on It. but
of Course No One Else viii,

of Course No One Else viii.
The betting man said to the wait.
err:
Boil one egg. Cool it and put 1t
amone half dozen raw ones. Then
{ bring all the eggs together in to me
on plate"
The eggs. in ten or fifteen minutes.
came in. They were examined care
fully by everyone in the room.
Il will bet ten dollars" said the
betting man. that no one here can
pick out the one cooked from the six
raw eggs
This bet was taken.
Thereupon the man spun the eggs.
toplike. on the table. one by one All
spun poorly, with wabbling motion,
save dark egg. which spun. as stead
lily and truly as a top.
This dark egg is the cooked one
said the betting man. He opened It.
and so 1t proved. "A boiled egg" he
explained. spins beautifully. An UNI
cooked. liquid one spins in a poor.
unsteady way. The difference is
plain, and anyone can tell It,"
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1905-03-02

w...re now the noble Washington.
Who flung our British yoke awayE
And Lincoln. he. the rugged one.
Who stood above bloody Fray
And Grant and Garfield. where are
they?
Each one is but fading name.
A memory that may not stay
How feet the feet of earthly fame!
Where now the virile Jefferson2
And Adams of the early day?
And where beneath the shining sun
MAY aught be found of Henry clay?
And who may bid the silence say
Where Patrick Henrys ashes flame
With eloQuence the world to sway?
How fleet the feet of earthly famei
Where now the stately Hamilton?
And Poe and Lowell and the gay
And loving lively Stevenson
And where is Emerson. we rray.
And Whitman in his disarray.
All all are deaf to praise or bfame.
And all have crumbled to decay
How feet the feet of earthly famei
L'ENVOI.
Keen heart, dear one. DO not dismay.
TO one and all II haIs the same
So live and love and laugh and play.
For fleet the feet of earthly fame.
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1905-03-02
WAIT FOR FURTHER ORDERS.
Petition Answered. Little Maid Was
Not Anxious for Oversupply.

Little Lillian had been an only
child nearly five years. Having been
taught to pray for things desired. she
took II upon herself to pray for lit
tie sister. This petition was not va
ried except on stormy nights, when
her bedtime prayer was ended by
saying. But don't send her tonight.
for she might get lost"
At last the little sister came. to
Lillian's unbounded delight, and for
three months no cloud crossedg her
happiness. But the little sister Was
wrestling, with sad case of collie one
evening just as Lillian was trying to
say her prayers. Again and again
she tried to hear her own voice above
the baby's screams. but failed. She
stood and looked at the offending par
ty for minute ethen. in one of the
lulls. threw herself on her knees,
voicing this petition. please. dear
Lord. don't send us any more babies
till | tell you o.'-Lippincott's Maya
zine
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1905-03-02
curIcuRA grows HAIR.
sea'p Cleared Of Dandrun and Hair
Restored by Ore Box Of Cuticura
and One Cake Of cuticura
Soso.

A. W. Taft OF Independence, Va.
writing under date of Sept Is. 1904.
says: Il have had falling hair and
dandruff for twelve years and could
gel nothing to help me. Finally I
bought one box Of Cuticura Ointment
ana one cake OF Cuticura Soap. and
they cleared my scalp of the dandruff
aSd stopped the hair falling. Now
my hair is growing as well as ever. l
an highly pleased with Cuticura Soap
AZ toilet soap. tSigned) A. W. TAFT.
Independence. Va"
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1905-03-02
IT is IN THE BLOOD
Neither Liniments nor 0intments
Will Reach Administration
Mr.. Stephenson Was Cured.

People with inflamed and aching
Joints, or painful muscles; people who
shuttle about with the aid of a cane or a
crutch and cry, oh at every slight jar,
are constantly asking, "What is the best
thing for rheumatism ~
To attempt to cure rheumatism by ex.
ternal applications is foolish waste of
time. The scat of the disease is in the
blood, and while the sufferer is rubbing
lotions and grease on the skin the poison
IN the circulation is increasing
Delays in adopting IA sensible treatment
Ere dangerous because rheumatism may
at any moment reach the heart and prove
fatal. Tho only safe course forrheumatic
sufferers is to get the best possible blood
remedy at once.
Mr.. Stephenson experience with this
obstinate and distressing affection is
that of hundreds. He says:
about a year ago l was attacked by
severe rheumatic pains i'll my left
shoulder. The pains were worse in wet
weather, and at these periods caused me
the greatest suffering. l tried u number
of treatments and ointments, but they
failed to alleviate the pqins."
Then he realized that the cause must
be deeper and the pain only surface in
dication. He adds:
=" 1 had heard DIR. Williams Pink Pills
for Pale People recommended as n cure
for rheumatism, and when 1 found that
1 was getting no relief from applications,
made up my mind that would try
them. Before the first box was gone I
noticed that the pains were becoming
less frequent, and that they were not so
severe as before. After the second box
had been used up I was entirely free
from discomfort, and have had no traces
of rheumatism since"
The change in treatment proved by
almost immediate results that Mr..
Thomas Stephenson, who lives at No. lis
Greenwood street, Springfield. Mass,
had found the true means for the purif-
cation and enrichment of his blood.
DIR. Williams Pink Pills are without
doubt the best of all blood remedies.
They effect genuine and lasting cures in
rheumatism. They do not merely deaden
the ache. but they expel the poison from
the blood. These pills are sold by all
dI uggists.