St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1905-10-06
FEW
.THORNS -

III the COUNCIL 0idn nave Soou
hand there'd be a case of bluff,
sire.
President Joe Smith, of the Nor
mon church at Salt Lake City,
recently lost his pants. If that was
all he lost he was in luck.
The Cold Hill News says PRO
tect your goats by using Blank S
Coyote Exterminator." Gee, do
the goats have coyotes around Gold
Hilll
Daily papers tell of couple who,
in the wilds of Alaska, died OF
starvation in the interior" D." Very
few die of starvation in the Eek
terror"
The Hebrews may not claim to
be overly smart in all thugs put,
my Rachael, how We pla-a-yed on
te fellows of Po-o-rtland last Satur-
day, didn't vef'
And now il is q mutual insurance
company in Portland. Well, we We
been in them-and the mutual y
part is when those who get out are
mutually gratifed.
A boomerang thrower at the fair
last Saturday succeeded after a
score Of trials in getting the boom
erang to return to him once. 1t
wasn't half as sure as a campaign
liel
One Of our exchanges says: "For
one rich man that is content there
are a hundred that are not" Jess
so: and we II bet good cigars that
the poor men are in the same fix.
Next.
Portland papers say 5000 hunters
were out last Sunday and 10000
Chinese pheasants were killed.
Two is good average-except
when the hunter, himself, tells
about il.
Tailors are now advertising that
you must have your overcoat longer
this year than last. We've had
ours just twelve months longer
now: just sixty months longer than
when we bought it.
No, Angeline, the passing of
resolutions" is not like the passing
Of a dividend" In the one instance
YOU get little something-and in
the other case you receive nothing
at all but "de icy NIT"
Dancing girls at the fair were
paid 81. 90 each for their wages due
on Sunday and discharged. They
kicked--but that was what they
were hired for-kicking. Anyway, |
i hasn't cost 'em much for clothes
This summcr-irom what we We |
seen of 'em.
The other day fellow in
Newcastle, Pennsylvania, had an
argument with his wife, and in fit
,f chagrin, went to the chopping-
block with an axe and cut of his
eft hand. That shows the world
IS growing better: few years ago
ned have cut of her head.
Mrs. w. :. URen is authority
or the assertion that years ago a
,iwash couple under the shadow of
Mount Hood had "a beautiful
laughter born to them" Either
Mrs. U Rem is u'nutty. or she never
'aw a Siwash, or else the stork was
nisled by the scent aud dropped
he kid at the wrong place.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox advises all
BOYS to work very hard and get
married young" II Ella had short
ned her Instructions to the last
hree words of that expression she d
lave been all right to omit the
balance. The fellow who marries
'oung just has to work hard or else
'onduct his business on a very tuff
,asis.
Getting license by personal
description is much like the old
nan who wrote to his dentist upon
osing his upper false teeth, The
etter ran; Dear dock; send me
mother set ov teeth. Make 'em
bout three inches acrost, shaped
Ike hoss shoe, aud some hubby
n the roof, If you can't do ct bi
his I'll come down"
Was there ON the bridge at MONDAY
he draw MAS swinging out
And the suTging crowd
Said things out loud
hat weren't worth talking about.
he car inside was crowded:
utside they'd Shiver and smoke; 1
Aud the things they'd tell
Would not print we'll
NJ none of them cracked joke,
was there ON the bridge at midnight a
he draw Was open wide;
The lights ON the craft !,
Both fore and aft
lowed drifting with the tide.
nj many man was thinking, 4
) he leaned against the gates,
That the Portland draws
Are frequent cause
a lot OF broken dates