West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1905-08-03
Is Of The Opinion That Their Pies are
In Iminent Danger Of Being
Captured by the Insurgents.
WILL HAVE THEM ARRESTED FOR
MUfINY AGAINST SHIP OF STATE.
Senator Elkins Has Been The Faith
ful Rudder Of Their Ship of
State and the
INSURGENTS ARE AFTER HIM.
Secretary swisher has Special Griev.
anee Against Senator Sam
Montgomery.

montgomery.
When Bro. Bill Dawson and my
self reached the pinnacle of our am.
bition, Bro. Bill the Gubernatorial
chair and / Promoter, we imagined
in the simplicity of our buckwheai
innocence that the rest of our DAYS
would be days Of unalloyed Joy and
happiness, and that the poor people,
whom we have striven for years to
make prosperous and contented,
would rise up and call us thrice
blessed. We are just beginning to
find out that the honorable offices to
which we have been chosen is no
shield OF protection from our enc
mics who have been chasing us
around over the state for years as
though we did not want to occupy
our cushion chairs and rest.
At our last midnight conference,
while the people all around us were
peacefully slumbering, wholly un-
conscious of the danger TO our pies,
the Governor and myself resolved
ourselves into 2 committee of two
to determine what action we should
take against the insurgents who
recently gathered at the White Sui
phur Springs to organize an army to
dethrone the Governor and myself.
None but those who have been com
PEELED to abdicate the throne can
appreciate our position or sympathize
with us in our hoLr Of agony.
We are not, however, concerned
so much about the sympathy as we
are about how the voters will con.
duct themselves toward us on the
next election day. We are bound
by as honorable a contract as was
ever entered into between two pie.
men Ia save Bro. Steve Elkins from
the wrath OF the insurgents who are
determined TO force Bro. Steve into
. solitary seclusion aud isolation.
This is more than we can stand. 1t
was the forethought and generalship
OF Bro. Elkins in the Wheeling Con
vention that made it possible for us
to win the pie from Col. Teter and
his insurgents. Had the Credenual
Committee, which we unfortunately
had no control over, been given the
authority to pass on the credentials
of our delegates would not be in
Charleston to-day = ing in luxury
and filling the colums ofTHE ARGUS
with the greatness of the Governor
and myself would still be back
IN Preston culrivating the buckwheat
crop and fighting the bugs on the
potato vines The labor which
have performed in the buckwheat
and potato patch was not calculated
to produce Statesmen, and l marvel
now how the Governor and myself
grew from such non-producing soil.
This is Why we are uncompromis-
inglY against non-partisan- wrestling
with our tax laws.
But such trifes pail into insignif-
canoe when we think Of what the
Insurgents might do TO us il they
are not disarmed and put in irons.
This was the main topic Of discus
sion AZ our midnight conference.
We have made a careful study of
the statutory laws and find that we
can handle the Insurgents for "Mu
tiny" for making an assault ON the
Ship Of State. The Governor and
constitute the Ship Of State and
Bro. Stephen Benton Elkins the
rudder. The Ship Of State would
be useless to us without the rudder.
The rudder has been the propelling
power that has steered the Shtp Of
State through the stormy bflows
whlca we have been passing through
since we started to chase the pie d.
The rudder never deserted us until
we we're safely landed in the State
House.
The Insurgents, who have also
marked Rudder Elkins for decapi.
tation, will fail in their evil designs.
II would be ingratitude on the part
Of the Governor and myself not to
protect the rudder and a great loss
to the poor people to be deprived
OF the service Of such an illuslrious
Parliamentarian as Bro. Elkins