Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1905-04-12

JeSS-Dlu you see inc THY Jach
gave May? Bcss-Yes, two years ago.
Briggs-Did Wimpleton marry girl
with million? Griggs-No. he mar
ried million with girl.
Bill-Did you have your head shin
gled when you were lad? Jill-No,
not my head.-Yonkers Statesman.
81 have just spent two weeks at
summer resort Sorry, old chap but
l can't lend you any money to-day
Waiter-Roast beef or cured ham,
sir? Bring me some beef. The last
cured ham l ordered here was only
convalescent."
Hell suppose Miss de Millions mar
ried that poor young artist because
she loved him. She-No; because her
dearest friend loved him.
Amateur Sportsman say. did hit
anything that time Gamekeeper-i
think not, sir. There warn't nothing
in sight but the birds. sir.-Judge.
The Lawyer-H'm! What makes
you think you wish to study to become
lawyer? The Applicant-Well, me
folks object to me bein' Il burglar
Judge,
Nan ovorhoo rd-Help. help, Stran.
oer-phuv don't yez swim? II don't
know how" "Beporry, we've got all
uicont chance to learn,"-New York
Weekly.
| It.r s,,,ost;on. H,-You know,
darling. we cannot live OH cheese and
kisses She-Then why not leave the
nasty old cheese out?-Lippincott's
| Mnpazine
. ,n.,u.a, ,.,, ,n. house In re-
s,onso 70 IN o,orm Of tre-ore met
by a small boy. Ralph-Say, If the
house burns down, don't save my fan
nels-'cause they scratch me.-Life.
Ieno-Fred didn't blow his brains
ont hecouse Won Tilted him the other
night: he came and proposed to me.
Maud-pid he? Then lie must have
got rid of them in some other way!
Ar sI,na,nt-Tho MINER saws skirts
oro 70 howorn ,onper than ever! Mrs.
srina,nt-Wcl, Won needn't be fig
corin, IN mo weorin' mine any longer
I've worn IL nNe wears IulS luu al
roodr
Son, ,o or.oa lincoln how long
-, ,o,s, ..,,o,,,,, ho uo ron,;ed no
. ~. -. 10, FIN s,,,i,ot any thoupht
hnt sno,,,d COW +hov shonld be lon.
enough to reach from his body to the
: Ground
W., Lin holm ao co,so Of honesty
haon. sa,d 1-no,o E,hon .hv nreach.
~, aI,a,. ~ M rou Lin holm II \ hcan
~. 49,. ann.,,n, rnos, nh;clon nm.
do, .,narv n,on,s nose washing.
/, ton Star.
,nu,. ;e. = st oooomn,;sh.
=, ,.nm,an. ronor,.oI tho man Who
w ..''.,aa.,n, ..yas. clio rndor.
$50 ,..s,,, ond .mov,s bo,v
49,. ,,,.. t., Iii 80 thon,. vash.
,no+on st.r
.Is ro,r ,r,o,d ,ood shots, ayes. u
1880, az snarts,,,,n ofter some
,.s,.s.,S az, 800 lite onv, oo mo
wv. than 10 maven hits any Of the me-,
W.. ~. ~ h,s nnnt,n. norty e,thcrr
p -, &C.
"ae
-. ...e.,,,., potxo, p,ooso dor..
-, - .,,...,. +oot,n, thot i,
wy a"ns ,iaa,nm noos he Inov
ny - ,,,,,,oa .,aosr,o
-. .e w.. n,s s.st Vito -Tit. Rits
~.
You say ne mas Nis'onais an ~.
p."e''s"' =, ~. ,,ostoa,o.
sl' WY - ssA 49, ,aa,,,o Who writ
one " ,,,..o., 10 M,
n"sn ". "n -, 5n,,,ar, stomn"
.ins oi u spue'a'
"asnins' "" s'"''
y 1.-THE trouble" said the dentist,
he probed away ut the aching moia
with along, slender lhtrnmemt' ID es
be IDENTITY que 10 dying 'erNe'
RS groaned the victim. ITS up 10 you
be treat the dying with little more Y
II. spect."-Chicago News.
he Young Man-Say, you-er-remen
80 Der the engagement ring bought
OF you Yesterday? Jeweler-ies. What
of wrong with it? Young Man-Nothin;
he but there's something wrong with II
ut, girl. Would you mind taking 1t pae
I'M and giving me collar buttons FOR II!
of Mrs. Mulgrew-Are We goin' to sin
he YER boy Tommy back to school TN
"a Az, o,Doo,.v-No tndn,l
ch Me ambition is to make an aldherm.
Of him pl,win lie grows up. an If
cot too much eddlcation he'd
shpoiled for the position intolrely-
n.t ptts