The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-22
Two Pretty Bad Breaks.

Two Pretty Bad Breaks.
Life insurance agents are more in
telligent than monographs. True. thsv
repeat their little stories, just as pho
nosraphs do theirs; but, life insurance
agent can think, and monographs have
never yet been suspected of ratiocina-
ton.
One diligent agent was vibrating the
sensorlum of business man with all
or the reasons why he ought to buy
policy, climaxing his work dramatically
as they all do, with a fearful explana-
ton, thus: Think of the good that
$1,000 will do your widow if you are
suddenly called hence"
Yes, [ know all about that" replied
the business man, but I've never been
married, and there will be no widow
Then, for pity sake anxiously ex-
CANNED the earnest agent, think of the
poor, unfortunate orphans who will
need the money!
Just as bad break-even worse-was
made by the proprietor CT a leading
MOTEL in Washington some years ago.
He was a handsome fellow large, we'll
proportioned, dressy, but illiterate. He
was reared in kitchens and dining
rooms, and knew hotel business, but
nothing else. There was a conclave of
Roman Catholic prelates, and two score
OF them were guests of his hotel. Swell
ing out his chest, the proprietor walked
about the lobby talking with these
church, and telling them lies which
would make any ordinary man blush
to utter or hear; but the prelates never
smiled nor exhibited sign of annoyance.
AT last, having spoken of his visits to
Rome, one of the bishops asked him
whether or not he had made the ac-
quaintanee of the pope and he chestily
replied:
I've met the pope every time I've
been to Rome, and the last time 1 was
there I CinQ6 h.
ters."
The bishop did not notice the in
science nor the indignity of the lie; but
caught the humor of it, and he took
prelates, as THE only American who
ever dined with the daughters of the
pope."-Los Angeles Times.
Vicious Cows.
They had been speaking of cows.
1--WE are in the habit of speaking
lslightingly of the man who is afraid
group, "but it is a great big mistake in
my judgment. Put a large vicious COW
/ in the road, and you will not find
many men who will insist in nudging
up too close. The fact is, if the COW
has wild look, almost any man will
be inclined to allow her to hold the
road, and will slip around through
| bushes in order to get around on the
| OIner SIDE without any unnecessary
trouble. Cows are sometimes vicious,
and they are sometimes anxious for a
scrap. They will not hesitate to chase
you, and should they happen to catch
you they will do a few picturesque
stunts on your PROSTATE form. I have
known cows to do considerable dam
age to individuals who reasoned on the
false idea that the COW is not only do
Gle, but totally lacking in gameness.
They are not only game, but marvel
/ O1fStV dPXfrnI1S in the of their
horns and fore feet. I recall a case
| in her demeanor, became suddenly
mad, probab bly, because of chewing on
a buckeye bush, and started in wild
| chase after a friend of mine. He had
a good start and was able to clear the
pasture fence before the COW could
reach him. Just as he fell over on
the opposite side the COW rammed the
| fence, and my friend was buried by al
least a wagon load of rails, stakes and
riders. We had to dig him out after
the COW had cooled somewhat. He
was bruised up somewhat, but he
swore he never felt better in his life
than he did with all those fence rails
piled on top of him. why. durn il
ALL he said philosophically. that crazy
COW would have gored me if she hadn't
of showed the fence over me, and
honestly, I felt so good under those
rails that I couldn't help from laugh
ing. It takes more nerve than you
think to face some cows New Or
leans TimeS-Democrat
Seeing by TeIeDhOne