Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1905-10-10
THE HUMoR OF JAPAN.
Jokes That Anuse the Natives Of Dai
Nippon.

Jokes That Anuse the Natives Of Dai
Nippon.
In a review of collection Of funny
stories called 'Kokkei Hyaku Showa"
by Mr. Kubo Tendzui. the Japan
Weekly Mail quotes the following as
being peculiarly characteristic Of
Japanese humor:
A certain government official who
in olden times used to be called a
"daikwan," but now is known as a
"guncho" (head of district) having
been recently appointed to a certain
district, was engaged in a tour of in
spection when his notice was attract
ed by the APPROACH Of an old man who
was too tipsy to walk straight.
Wondering who the intoxicated
man could be, the district officer ac-
costed him and after much difficulty
ascertained that he was the head Of
the village which he had come to
inspect. Thinking 1t to be his duty
to make use Of the occasion for OBJ
tanning reliable information, the dis
trict officer asked the topper how
many houses and how many people
there were in the village. There
are 100 houses and, males and fe-
males included, so persons In the. vii
lage," replied the man. Puzzled, the
officer asked. How can that be?"
There Is nothing wrong about that.
replied the head of the village. BE
sides these sixty there are any
amount Of people in the village. but
since they are creatures who know
not what 1t is to drink they are not
I take II. worthy of being mentioned"
Once upon a time 1t happened that
five or six burglars, armed with
swords and shouting like men attack
ing an enemy on the battlefield, came
bouncing into the house Of certain
doctor. The whole household, with
the exception Of the master, were
paralyzed. They felt as though iron
chains had been placed around them.
and not one Of them moved hand or
foot They watched in terror to see
what would happen, when. 10 and
behold, the robbers took their de-
parture without stealing a thing.
Though they could not tell what was
the meaning Of this strange proceed
Ing, certain 1t was that the family
was safe. But where was the head
of the house? After searching
through the rooms they found him
in his dispensary. There he stood
in the midst Of the drugs. medicine
spoon In hand, looking fierce and tri-
umphant. What are you doing
here?" inquired one Of the members
Of his household. Smiling, he replied:
Those robbers were perhaps as not
ed as Kumusaka Chohan, but they
may thank their stars that they
have got off with their lives! Had
they pushed matter a little further
and entered this dispensary not one
of them would have left II alive"
Amused by this remark one Of the
members Of the family rejoined:
without a sword or a pistol how
could you have killed these robbers?
Can you kill robbers with a spoon
Whereupon the doctor, with fine self
assurance, replied: How many thous-
ands Of lives have taken by means
of this spoon! What to me are the
lives of five or six robbers? Lucky
chaps to get of as they did"
The son Of an extremely illiterate
peasant was in the habit Of bringing
his copies home day after day, MS
hands and face covered with the Ink
that should have gone on his copy.
Thinking 1t we'll to exercise his pa
ternal authority over the lad even
in regard to his school lessons, the
father one day commanded the boy
to show him his writing. Looking
| II over with the air Of an expert
penman, he criticised various strokes:
..This stroke Is too long; this one 100
short. These two strokes are too far
apart" observed the father.
BUT" said the boy, "the writing
master tells us to write them as !
have DONE" SHOW me the copy,
ierked out the father. The boy pro-
duced the COPY, which his father be-
gan to examine closely upside down.
"Why, you are holding 1t upside
down." exclaimed the lad. Not to
be beaten, the father replied: Don't
be so conceited! / am holding II lor
YOU to look at, Of course. You could
not read Il were 1t turned the other
way. Listen to what is said to you
and don't fancy you know every
thing" .
The above reminds US OF a story
that concerns Taira Kiyomori. IL Is
related that in the time OF the HelJi
rebellion the rebels attacked klyomo-
ri's camp very suddenly one day
Losing his presence Of mind, kyo-
mort put on his armor In great
hurry, the back part front. some
persons near pointed out the mistake
he had made. You nave put your
armor on the wrong way" they ex-
Claimed, TT is not So" calmly an
swered Kiymori. "As the emperor
is coming behind I have put on the
armor so as to have the front part
facing him. 1t would be impolite TO
have the back part Of ones armor
facing an emperor" Without alter
ing 1t he went out to battle.
The term 'yabu" is applied to doc
tors who prescribe wrong medicines
Now, II happened once that quack
having been the means Of killing the
only son of a certain house, the pa
rents determined to have their re-
venge on him. So they sued him at
a court Of law. The affair was even
tually patched up by the worthy
ouack giving the bereaved parents
his own son in return for the one ne
had killed. Not long after this event
the said quack heard loud knocking
at his door one night. On going to
the door he was Informed that one
of his neighbor's wives was danger
ously Ill and that his presence was
reouired at once. Turning to MS
wife. ne said: This requires con-
sideration. my dear. There gis no
knowing but that 1t may END IN tneir
taking you from me-"