The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-04-28

can dress her that cheapiy.--New YORK
American.
A new Swiss hotel is to be built two
thousand feet in the air. Seems hHghs
but no doubt the prices will harfn'iiltAe
with the situatton.-NeW York Herald
Mrs. Lakeside-"I shall never play an
other game of cards. 1 have just thrown
the deck into the stove" Mrs. Throop-
'-Ah, burning your bridge behind you'
Ell 2''-Chicago News
Delia-sThe doctor sent me a bill to-
day for $50. Six dollars for medicine
and $50 for visits" Bella-'Why don't
you pay him Sc and return the visits p
St. Paul Pioneer Press
''Ah, madame said the French maid,
'leetle Fido weel not eat re bonbons-
1.-THE dear intelligent little doggie, ex-
claimed Mrs. Swellman. There must
be something wrong with those bon
bons Celeste: give them to the chill
dren"-Catholio Standard and Times.
Now that he is simultaneously president
pro tempore, acting secretary OF state sna
sbo1ld incorporate himself under the laws
of New Jersey.-Hartford Times.
Garden truck is. coming up, but not fast
enough to keep in sight of the soaring
prices of beef.-Washington Post
.erhe road to knowledge. nowadays"
said the first old schoolmaster, rs 100
SWA1A c1AAA ASo Easy - - --tee--
YES agreed the other old pedagogue.
land it's a railroad with FEWER switches
than are necessary. philadelphia Press.
Hope springs eternal They are al
ready figuring on the Democratic ticket
for 1908 one combination being Folk and
Jerome. No matter how slight you make
the chances in a lottery, you can always
find some one who will buy a ucket--In-
dianaDohs Star.
Manager--You, do not put enough CON
Actress can do no better.
anager-Nonsensei Speak Just as you
say "Plushi when you meet q rival in
an imitation sealskin.-LOndon Tit-Bits.
Vice President Fairbanks is probably
thanking his stars that there is nothing in
the constitution which compels him to
keep close to his principal while the lat
ter is taking his much needed rest.-Chi-
cago Inter Ocean.
Charitable Lady-But man last week
told me exactly the same storyl
Tramp-Yes, lady. You see I made q.
fatal mistake in not havin' the history of
me life copyrighted.-Chicago journal
The monkey of the Andes. like other
from any dangerous place that he has
mounted to when he finds out that he
must-New York Mail.
It is quite evident that the president
wants it understood that where brave
men are concerned the color of the uni
form cuts no fgure.-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The new chairman and chief engineer Of
the canal commission are talking busl-
ness. If they live up to their promises
there will be no occasion to kick the
work of digging the big ditch.-Charlotte
News
In war. in the hunt. and on horseback,
in hospitality and in capacity for devotion
high aims, Theodore Roosevelt is a son Of
Dixie, the best and truest south, the sec
gallant gentlemen who prize their honor
above the utmost material success.-Cleve-
land Leader.
The actual test of war has simply DEM
onstrated the necessity for large fleets of
golfers, supply vessels and transports, as
well as hospital ships, and no well-regu-
lated naval establishment can for the fu-
ture afford to be without these auxiliaries.
Even with them, however. no important
feet can nope to operate successfully far
from suitable base for refitting and re-
victualing as well as coaling, unless the
hospitality of neutrals is imposed upon,
as was done IN the case of the Russian
Baltic squadron.-New Orleans Picayune.
But my DEAR demonstrated Mr.. Nee
kun, there's good deal to be said on
no. there isn't answered his spouse.
/ i've told you what I think about it, and
that's all that is going to be said Chi
! cago Tribune.
II did not make this world. said Frank
lin MacVeagh- Does Mr.. MacVeagh real
" expect the country to reverse its opin-
that?-Kansas City Times.
What do you think that man who is
now ;.fder investigation for graft ought to
be charged with?"
Sorghum, ''thst he ought to be charged
with criminal carelessness. ''-XVa shington
Star
When we reflect that we run ''get-rich-
quick men towards the penitentiary and
elevate franchise srabbers to the rank Of
statesmen we are bound to admit that So
Pittsburg Dispatch.
The president has begged the Colorado
( newspaper men not to follow him on his
! hunt. which is one of the best Jokes thus
far attributed to Mr.. Roosevelt-Chicago
4 Inter-Oeean.
You can always tell an Englishman.'
/ began the Britisher boastfully
But it would only be a waste OF
/ breath, interrupted the Yankee. be
( delphia Ledger.
Old chun-Doss your little girl take
Married Afen-Not especially; she's 3
years old and can't talk more than half
dozen words.-Detroit Free Press.
1 SOME CHEAP ADVICE.
/ When you have a thing to do.
Never let it frighten you
If you look at It It and a dio Ssh
While you loiter. bye and bye,
II Will face you mountains hight
Do it now
I If you have to dodge a brick
Do It now.
/ Promptness is pretty trick:
Do It now.
/ When auto with shrek
/ " arms you safer ground to seek
| Don't delay it till next week
Do It now.
Must you plant a garden soon7
Do t row.
/ Tlnll,t ae-aaaad