davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1905-05-06

mortgages, cause q mortgage Will not
shed rain, and you get their money and
spend Il on other women" One Of tho
dukes turned red like lobster, and
think he is a lobster. anyway. and he
was going to make dad stop talking. but
the duke didn't know dad, and he con-
tinued. Says dad, says he: II know a
rich old man In the States, who made
ten million dollars on pickles, or break
fast food. and he had daughter that
was so homely they couldn't keep clock
going In the house.
"She came over here and got exposed
to duke, and she had never been vacci-
mated, and the first her father knew she
caught the duke, and came home, and he
followed her. Say, he didn't know
enough to pound sand. and the old man
got several doctors for her. but they
couldn't break up the duke fever, and
finally the old pickle citizen asked him
how much the mortgage was. and how
much they could live on, and he bought
her the duke, and sent them on, and the
duke covered his castle with building
paper, SO 1t would hold water, and they
set up housekeeping with q hundred
servants. Then the duke wanted rae
ing stable, after the baby came, and the
old pickle man went over to see the
baby, and 1t looked SO much like the old
man that he invested in racing stable,
and the servants bowed low to the old
man and called him Your 'ighness. and
that settled the old pickle person, and he
fell into the trap Of building townhouse
in London.
Then he went home and made some
more pickles, and the daughter cabled
him to come right over, as they had been
invited to entertain the king and lot OF
other ace\cards in the pack. And the
old man thought 1t would be great to get
in the king row himself, SO he shoveled
a lot of big bills into some packing
trunks and went over to fix up for the
king. The castle had to be redecorated
for about six miles, up one corridor and
down the other, but Old Pickles stood
the raise, because he thought 1t would
be worth the money to be on terms of in
timacy with king.
Then when 1t was all ready, and the
old man was going to stand at the front
door and welcome the king, they made
him go to his room. back about half
a mile in the rear of the castle, and for
two weeks old Pickles had his meals
brought to his room, and when II was
over, and his sentence hal expired, he
was let out. and all he saw Of the grand
entertainment to the crowned heads was
ravine full of empty wine bottles, a
case Of jimjams for son-in-law, a case
of nervous prostration for a daughter,
and hydrophobia for himself My old
pickle friend has got, at this date, three
million good pickle dollars invested in
your id island, and all he has to show
for 1t is sick daughter, neglected by
featherhead Of a husband, who will
only speak to old pickles when he wants
more money, and grandchild that may
die teething at any time. You are a
nice lot Of ducks to talk to me about
your English society being better than
our American civilization. You get"
and dad drove the dukes out.
l think they are going to have dad ar
rested for treason. But don't tell ma
cause she may think treason serious.
Yours. HENNERY.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1905-05-06

taclss of kidney disor-
ders which kept me in
the house for days at q
time, unable to do any
thing. What I suffered
can hardly be told.
Complications set in,
the particulars of
which l will be pleased
to give in a personal
interview to any one
who requires informa-
ton. This l can con-
scientiously say oan's
Kidney Pills caused q
general improvement
IN INV health They
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1905-05-06

brought great relief by lesseuing the
pain and correcting the action OF the
kidney secretions."
Doan's Kidney Pills for sale by all
dealers. Price. SO cents. Foster-Mn-
burn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1905-05-06

Write to S. G. Warner, G. P. & T. A.,
Kansas. City Southern Ry., Kansas City,
Mo, for information concerning free
Locations, Improved farms, Mineral lands.
Rice lands, and Timber lands and for
copy of Current Events" Business OBJ
portunities, Rice book, X. G. S. Fruit
book. Cheap round trip homeseekers'
tickets on sale first and third Tuesdays of
each month. The short line to the Land
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1905-05-06
Made Trouble.

Elder--Do you really think it's danger
Gus to dye the hair!
Kidder-It is, indeed. knew fel-
low about your age who did it and the
first thing he knew he was married to
a widow with five children.-Philadelph
Press
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1905-05-06
A Remarkable Fact

about "Pusheck's Kuro" is that It does
what no other medicine can do. 1t affects
the grand trio-the Stomach, the Blood
lates the whole body, every organ and
every function. 1t corrects the digestion
and assimilation of food that keeps up the
body, il purifes and enriches the Blood,
and corrects, regulates and strengthens
the nerves. This explains why one medi-
cine permanently cures SO many appar-
emily different diseases. Other remedies
work on one of the organs only and can
not cure completely; Pusheck's Kuro re-
generates the entire system, Good health
will assist to happiness and wealth more
than anything else. Pusheck's Kuro will
help you enjoy health, happiness and long
life. This remedy is 81 at Druggists or
sent from DR.. Pusheck, Chicago.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1905-05-06

nauseated. ! had an acrid discharge and
pains down through my limbs 30 I could
hardly walk. IL was as bad case of female
trouble as I have ever known. Lydia f.
Pinkhams Vegetable Compound, however,
cured me within four months. Since that
time have had occasion to recommend It TO
number of patients suffering from all
forms Of female difficulties, and find that
while 10 Is considered unprofessional to rec
ommend q patent medicine, can honestly
recommend Lydia f. Pinkhams Vegetable
Compound, for ! have found that It cures
female ills, where all other medicine fails. 1t
Is q grand medicine for sick women"
Money cannot buy such testimony as
this-merit alone can produce such re-
suits, and the ablest specialists now
agree that Lydia +. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound Is the most univer-
sally successful remedy for all female
diseases known to medicine.
When women are troubled with ir-
regular, suppressed or painful men
situation, weakness, lcucorrhea, dis
placement or liberation of the womb,
that bearing-down feeling, infiamma-
ton of the ovaries. backache. bloat-
ing Tor fatulence), general debility, in
digestion. and nervous prostration. or
are beset with such symptoms as dizzi-
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Con
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1905-05-06
A VOICE FROM THE PULPIT.

Rev. Jacob d. Van Doren, of 81 Sixth
street, Fond Du Lac, Wis, Presby-
terrain clergyman, says: ~ had at
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1905-05-06

Bread is the staff of life, and it fire.
quently is the indigestion Of life, also
Sunset Magazine.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1905-05-06
Day Labsrsrs, Skilled Wsrkmsn,
and ospOolally Farm Tenants.

tunity TO purchase . farm home farmers who
would prefer to rent for . couple Of years before
purchasing; and day laborers In fields or facto-
RES should address Q postal card to Mr.. ]. p.
Merry, ASH. General Passenger Agent, Dubuque,
Iowa, who will promptly nail printed nattei
ccnceruinG the territory above described, and
give specific rspliss 20 ali inquiries.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1905-05-06

Often Thrown.
Who rides Chance ris.;s many fall
IN. Y. Times.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1905-05-06

Great Britain's Rivers.
The British empire embraces 1000
rivers.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1905-05-06

Any person who is lied about in pub
Tic may console himself by rejecting that
he must be of some Importance or peo-
pie wouldn't take the trouble.-N. y.
Times.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1905-05-06
A TRAINED NURSE
After Years Of Experience. Advises Women ID
Regard to Their Health.

Mrs. Martha PohlmAn
of So Chester Avenue.
Newark. N. j.. who Is .
graduate Nurse from the
Blocklcy Training School,
ut Philadelphia. and for
six years Chief Clinic
Nurse at the Philadelphia
Hospital, writes the letter
printed below. She has
the advantage Of personal
experience, besides her
professional education,
and what she has to say
may be absolutely relied
upon.
Many other women arc
afIdictcd as she was. They
can regain health in tho
same way. Its prudent
to heed such advice from
such q source. "a
Mrs, Pohlman writes:
~ am firmly persuaded,
altar eight years Of experience
with Lydia z. PinkhAIn's
Vegetable Compound, that Il
Is the safest and best medicine
for any suffering woman to
ase.
Immediately after my
marriage I found that my
health began to fail me. Ibo-
came weak and pale, with Sc
we're bearing-down pains, fear
full backaches and frequent
dizzy spells. The doctors pre-
scribed for me, yet ] did not
improve. ! would bloat after
eating and frequently become
nauseated. ] had an acrid
~-t~- Az.-u AA--..wl. 49,. ~
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1905-05-06
One Months Fire Losses.

Lydia Phkham's Vegetable Compound Succeeds Where FAN
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1905-01-26
Brother Dickey's Philosophy.

Happy is de man who is too
busy ter find fault wild de worl.'
Eff dar wuz a railroad ter
heaven, you'd hear folks akin
de station agent fer a return
ticket
De only regret err some mems
is dat dey can't carry a pickax
ter heaven, ter dig up de golden
streets.
Hits funny dat some folks
wants ter run de worl', wen
dey can't fill de simple contract
Of runnin' deysef!
Trouble is a great han ter
teach lessons, but we fergits
'em all wen we has d recess In
&c sunshine err Joy.
Hits mighty consolin' ter sad
die yo' sins on Satan; but Ireck-
ON Satan mus say ter hisse'f-
Dem sinners is ez big a liar ez
whatI is"-Atlanta Constitu-
| ton.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1905-01-26

The woman who expects a
declaration Of love three times
a day.
The woman who marries in
order to have some one to pay
her bills
The woman who thinks she
can get $4,000 worth of style
out of $1,000 income.
The woman who proudly de-
claIeS that she cannot even hem
a pocket handkerchief and new
err made a bed in her life.
Philadelphia Record.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1905-01-26
The Cost of a Modern Hotel

One of these hotels in New
York cost seven million dollars.
The decoration Of it's royal
suite of 6 rooms cost seventy
five thousand dollars.
The plant to filter the air cost
three hundred thousand dollars.
The tulip-wood bed from the
old French chateau cost ten
thousa nd dollars, and so Id the
piano which adorns the ada
cent reception room
The solid silver fittings for
each bath room in the hotel cost
twelve hundred dollars.
The paintings, marbles and
bronzes which decorate the
house represent an expenditure
of half a million; and on the
other hand each door knob in
the hotel cost ten dollars.
The daily amount of money
spent for flowers is at least five
hundred dollars-January Wo,
mans Home Companion.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1905-01-26
Farmer Queered the Show.

"Miss Minnie Bertha Learned
will now give us some very in
teresting experiments in chem
istry, showing the carboniferous
character of many ordinary
substances, after which she will
entertain US with a short treat
ise on astron omy, and al illus
tration of the geological forma-
ton of certain substances, and
close with briet essay entitled
philosophy VS.. Rationalism ~
Thus spoke the president OF a
young ladies seminary on the
class-show day.
A hard-beaded, old-fashioned
farmer happened to be among
the examining board, and he
electrified the faculty, and par
alyzed Miss Minnie by asking
kin Miss Minnie tell me how
much sixteen and tire, -fourths
pounds of beef would come to
at fifteen and a. half cents a
pound?'
why, really, I-P'-gasp-
ed Miss Minnie.
kin you tell me who is the
vice presid ent of the United
States?"
"Why-I-I-Mr. B, isn't
hep Or is it"
kin you tell me where the
the Mississippi river rises and
sets?'
"I-I-don't just know"
Il reckoned we didn't Gin
me the good old days wher
gals and boys went to school tc
larn sense. Our Dumb Ami
mails.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1905-01-26
These Should Not Marry.

The woman who expects to
have "a good, easy time" =.
The woman who wants to re.
furnish her house every spring
The woman who buys for the
mere pleasure of buying.
The woman who thinks that
cook and nurse can keep house.
The woman who would die
rather than wear last seasons
hit.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1905-01-26
Winter Meat Eating.
The Poor StOmach'S Tale of Woe
Just Now Mi-O-na is Needed.

At this season of the year
thousands of people are already
showing the i'll symptoms that
are sure to result from the us.
ual winter diet. Indoor life,
meat eating, hearty food, over
work and poor ventilstion spell
sickness and poor health.
If the stomach cannot do its
work properly, i'll health is sure
to follow, Mi-o,na is the Que
medicine lhat assures a natural
digestion, that strengthens the
stomach, that sooths and heals
all irritation, congestion, and
inflammation in the stomach aud
bowels. 1t is this that makes
it certain and guaranteed cure
for all stomach troubles.
If the digestion is impaired,
the blood is impoverished and
and becomes filled with poison
Gus impurities, derauging the
whole system and causing sick
ness and suffering Milo ma, act
ting upon the stomach and di
gestive organs cures, sleepless.
ness, nervous troubles, head,
aches, backaches, and general
weakness and debility.
! If you are week and are ailing
j the chance are that it is due t O
} a diseased stomach. but you can
be cured by using Mi-o-na. Ask
Wood Bros, the reliable drug
firm, to show you the strong
guarantee under which Mi o-na
is sold. Mi o.na costs but SOC a
box, If it does not help, the
price is absolutely nothing.
i
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1905-01-26
Compensation.


I'm keep in" when I'm "tardy"
An I'm KEEP in" when I'm
late"
Pm keep in for position"
That means not sittin'staight.
I'm keep in" on my joggerfy,
My readin' an my writin,'
An I'm keep in" some for
laughin',
But I'm "kep' in" most for
fightiu'.
I'm keep in when nv marbles
Comes rattlin' from my pock-
cts,
An sometimes when my matches
Gets mixed with up my rock
cts.
The truth is, at Tn "Kep' i'm
For most everything I do!
But one jolly thing about 1t
Is, the teachers ''kep' In" too!
-Leslie'so Monthly .
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1905-01-26
Some Bright
Jewels that are
Worth Reading
FROM THE ATLANTA CONSTITUTION.

De Stow kivers a multitude of
sinners, but it don't make dey
hearts white.
Ef heaven wuz ter come any
closer ter earth in de Christmas
time, Ge noise of de tin horns en-
de firecrackers would scare de
angels.
Be sho' dat you always do yo'
bes' fer de Twin; De Lawd will
take keer er de dead.
Eff all pc flowers dat we puts
on de graves wuz planted in lie
gardens of dis life, what a hap
py time we'd have!
Hit may be best to not abuse
old Satan too much. De time
is comm wen he may have de
last lick at you!
Wen some err desc ole sinners
gifts befo' big, blaziu' winter
fire. it breaches a wholesome
sermon to 'em.
One of the old colored breth-
rem tells all his troubles IN this
rhyming fashion:
DE weather got me froze-up-
1 almos' gone, my honey!
l des so short err things ter eat,
Amt got no house rent money
I des amt got no courage
Fer facin' er my foes,
De rheumatism got me,
Eu l hollerin' fer cloze!'
There's always a bird singing
in the wilderness-but what you
want to do is ter keep out O
the wilderness!
Don't waste your time count
ing the ars,-there's more
money in the mile-posts of this
world.
Joy may be dreamer, but be
always wakes in the sunshine
A good New Year resolution
would be to quit growlin awhile
and persuade yourself you're
bappy-at least one week ir
the year.
Fortune takes wings and flies
away; but once you get her, yo'
ought to clip her wings.
Another year" said the col
onel, added to the dusty rol
of the dead centuriesw
ITO the devil with the centu
riesw exclaimed the major
"What's botherin' me is how t
get good excuse to break m,
J New Year resolutionw
Hits a good idea ter hop
fer de best" says Brother Will
liams, "but de man who work
fer it is de one who glt's dar."
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1905-01-26
She Took The ReiHs.

A Cass county young man
married in a buggy last week
and Immediately after the cere-
mony was performed she reach.
ed over and took the reins. His
friends have already begun to
call him "Mr. Henry Peck"
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1905-01-26

When we fail to get your
laundry. When you are ready
to send it, phone to US and we
will get it in the next lot. Our
phone numbers are 1872 Buffum
and A F. & M.-Monroe City
Steam Laundry.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1905-01-26

Spiker will butcher your
hogs.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1905-01-26

Hits a good idea ter hop e
fer de best" says Brother Will
liams, "but de man who work S
fer it is de one who gIt's dar."
Evening journal., 1905-04-18
HOW FOOD WORKS.
a suro way out Of Bowel Troubles.

A Sure Way Out Of Bowel Troubles.
SO called septic appendicitis will
often hang ON for years. This is
caused by white bread, potatoes and
other forms of starchy food that the
Individual does not properly digest. and
ia is useless to attempt to make per-
manent change by any form of drug
for an drugs wear OUT and in time
refuse to benefit where the cause of
the disturbance is not removed
Septic appendicitis is a general term
for a diseased condition of the bowels
caused from undigested starch. and
Jas stated above, it may so on for
years; yet people must have starchy
food.
It Is a well established fact among
physicians and individuals who have
made the experiment, that when bowel
disturbances are shown, a change IN
food must be made, and that the IA
nous predigested food-Grape- Nuts
is the most perfect remedy. for it con-
tains no medicine of any sort, but Il
Is made up of the selected parts of
wheat and barley i'm which the starchy
part has been changed into the form
Of sugar that is found In the human
intestines after the starchy part of
the food has been perfectly digested.
When Crap Nuts food is used I'm
place Of bread or any of the other
forms Of starch, the body is supplied
with the necessary elements already
in the form of this sugar (known as
Post sugar') and is therefore ready
for immediate assimilation for the first
act Of digestion has taken place outside
Of the body and during the process of
manufacture.
Absolute certainty of results can
be depended upon and the disease re-
lieved by this method.
A prominent Missouri editor tells
this cheerful story;
For three years suffered from
septic appendicitis. with all that in
wolves. The aid Of physicians was in
adequate and the difficulty of finding
food that would assimilate without
great annoyance in the region Of the
vermiform appendix was fairly insur-
mountable until 1 struck Grape-Nuts
Grape Nuts 1 relish and digest COM
fortably. They have not only proven
to be most satisfying and nutritious
food, but they have actually healed my
ailment 7 am, today, after several
months use Of Grape Nuts. absolutely
free from any disorder whatever-in
perfect health-and I attribute my
strength of mind and body to Grape
Nuts" Name given by Postum Co,
Battle Creek. Mich.
There's reason
Evening journal., 1905-04-18
TEMPERATE RAILROAD MEN.

a FEW years ago the railroads as
\ pure matter Of business laid
down the rule that any employe found
drinking or suffering from the effects
of drink during working hours would
be dismissed. TO entrust the lives Of
people in the hands Of anyone but per-
sons entirely sober had come to be
recognized as too hazardous.
The rule worked wen. acting as a
check on some and resulting in the dis
missal of others.
Not many years after, certain Of the
roads went farther by giving notice
that men who drank intoxicants at all
would be discharged. The manage
ments explained that the stand was
made for business reasons only. and
that there was no sentiment behind ii.
They said that as a rule men who did
not drink were better mentally and
physically than those who did. and
that they wanted only the best.
But the Chicago and Alton road has
gone even further by bringing under
the ban not only men who drink, but
those who frequent race tracks. gam
bling resorts or dives This may ap-
pear to be going too far in interfering
with the private affairs Of employees
but to the man who travels much there
viii occur another view. Steady
hands and clear heads are prime re-
quisites in the problem Of safety.
We notice that one great road has
interpreted the reform as applying "a
officials. and on private cars Of the
president and directors there are nc
wines carried. This viii have the ef-
feet Of impressing the employees viii
the justice Of The rule.
Evening journal., 1905-04-18
JAMES HOY ACTED AS
HIS 0NA DETECTIVE
Thrashed Alleged Destroyer
Of His Home and Again
Landed in Cell
West chester. Pa. Local News.

West Chester, Pa, Local News.
James Hoy, who is employed on the
Jannes Rh0ads fimm. I'm Westtown town
ship, acted as his own detective in hunt
ing the alleged destroyer Of the happi-
ness % his home located him in Balti-
-nore, got into a cell for whipping him.
recovered his household goods and To-
day returned to work on The farm. He
had been released last week from prison
hcre after serving eighteen months for
an alleged assault upon his daughter.
but he claims conspiracy and is en-
deavoring to prove this before his
friends.
When Hoy was sent to prison. ac-
cording to his story. his Wife loft her
home and went away witch another man.
Finally the couple didfted to Bald-
more
Il was released last week" said Hoy
to-day, 'and at once went to work to
locate the couple, if / could do so. 1t
had me guessing after being locked
UP for eighteen months, but 1 stuck
at 1t, and on Friday got a clue which
led me to Baltimore. I went to that
lefty and after considerable work found
the man / was seeking standing on
street corner. I gave him a beating and
made him tell where my goods were.
In building on Pratt street. Then 1
was arrested for figlhting and locked up,
but after my story was told a telephone
message was sent to District Attorney
Thomas Lack and I was released. /
then secured my goods through a Con-
stable, ana sWore out warrant for
the arrest OF the man who caused my
trouble, after which 1 came home and
brought some of the goods, including
my clothing, with me. They had even
taken my clothes.
Searching for my wife I discovered
that she had left the other man and
gone to Texas, whore she and my child
rem are living with her brother. who
is man of means, and one who will
care for her. ] understand that while
in Baltimore her health became bad
and she decided to 10 to her brother
l want to clear This conspiracy up. and
Mr.. Rhoades has taken me back upon
the farm"