Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1905-09-19

her in my cornfeld just now 1 almost
, wanted to kill her.
I'm sorry, deacon" was the humble
reply.
But bein' sorry won't do" said the
deacon, who felt that he had the ad-
vantage and should press it. "Jumpin'
cows should be poked. told you that
long ago, but you don seem to care
two cents"
81 was goin' to poke her"
"But goin' to poke cow and pokin'
her are two different things. That was
the way with Mirandy. She's dead,
and 1 don't want to say anything ag'in
her, but she was always goin' to 10,
and never dom. You re a wilder wo-
man, and I'm sorter sorry for you,
but you must obey the law same as
other folks. The law says that a
| jumpin' COW"
| Never mind what the law SAYS, dea-
con Albright" interrupted the widow.
You are maxim a great fuss over a
| few stalks of corn, and if you'll tell
me what the damage is I'll pay it. |
| never thought you was such a man."
But you've got a jumpin' COW.
'Then let 'er jump. l stand ready
to pay all damages"
But you are mighty sassy about
| it,"
1--WE n right to be. I've got no man.
thank heaven, to boss me around"
ut would be better if you had. Then
you'd know that any one who owned
jumpin' cow was obleeged-"
Deacon Albright, how much dc I
owe you?" exclaimed the woman.
IF twas any one else I'd say tez
dollars. but bein' it's you"
Il won't pay ten cents"
''Then III sue you for damagesr'
"You can sue till the chickens be-
come ducks. You could boss Mirandy
around and make her feel as humble as
cat, but you can't boss me. Go ahead
with your old lawsuit"
The deacon said he would. and turn
ed away Before he had gone forty
rods he changed his mind. and there
would have been no legal trouble but
for the COW. Not satisfied with what
she had done, she took advantage of
the occasion to die. 1t was from over
feeding on the juicy stalks and young
ears, and a witness was found to come
forward and swear to certain whacks
the deacon had bestowed upon her
anatomy as he drove her along the
road.
He's so powerful quick to talk
about lawsuits that I'll give him onev'
said the widow when she heard that
the jumping COW had passed away.
! And within four hours she was in the
village consulting a lawyer.
When Deacon Albright received
notice that he had been sued he. OF
course. started a counter suit. Then
some one told the widow that he waR
talking about her. and she started a
| SANDER suit He heard that she was
talking about him and he instituted
another suit Then the deacon's sister
Clipped in and had her say. and the
widow began third suit. The deacon
had once saved her barn after it had
been struck by lightning, and now he
instituted a claim for salvage.
The law works slowly in a country
town. A lawsuit is thing to be hung
onto as long as possible and made the
most Of The first two suits were tried
and appealed, and the two others were
called and adjourned several times,
and finally two years had passed away
and no one was better off and no point
| had been settled.
One morning almost as soon as the
| deacon was out of bed he received
notice that his spotted OK was lying
| dead in the widow Green's cornfeld.
| The animal had broken down the fence
and overfed. The deacon was met at
the gate by the widow, who said:
81 could say that you had a jumpin'
OK ard that he should have been polk
ed, and that you had damaged ne ten
dollars. but shan't 10 anything of the
sort. / lost cow and you've lost an
OK. l sued and you sued. 1 was o.
fool and you were ditto. Shan't We
shake hands and call it squarer'