davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04

A Correspondent sends US a copy ot-an
old will on record in the office of the
ordinary of Lumpkin county, Ga. After
appointing three executors, he solemn
ly'' requests them ito law n. Nicholson
to the full extent of the law. 1 impute
my cramp collie to his injustice to me"
He further requests that they pay
themselves and our attorneys and spend
as much as is necessary in buying a
slab and place on it: Here lies the re
mains of s. Douglas Crane Born the Sth
Of Novemb her, 1900, who served five years
in the Georgia legislature and never lost
day; and dies in the full faith of the
Methodist doctrine and in full hope, to
which church he viii $50 In conclus-
ion, the testator requests "to be buried
on the highest Hill in the graveyard with
the honors of war, a colonePs salute. -
From Law Notes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04
GLOBE SIGHTS.

LFrom the Atchison Daily Globe.1
Some people can't hurry without MAX
ing mistakes.
1t is a question which nags boy
the more: Don't or Do.
About all we get out of wishes is
the pleasure of making them.
The man who pays the bills looks
terribly unlike the te,robed fairy
with wand in the story books
All married women have a great deal
to say about the lack of "the ring of
sincerity in a mans voice.
The old do not have much sympathy
for the young in their trouble, regard
ing it as good luck enough to be
young.
It is a wonder that some statistician
has never found out how soon after
wedding the word rights" begins to
appear.
A man regards his wife's bookkeeping
of household expenses as something
very funny, but the real point Of the
joke never reaches him: that she is
able to do so well with so little money.
The girl who walks out to the front
gate. leaving her mother. father, aunts
sisters and brothers in the house, say
ing she is lonesome" ought to have
more sympathy from her father: Often
he is lonesome. too, with his family all
around him.
There was great disgust in Shadeland
today. A great many Men Shades blew
into town last night. which was Hal
lowe'en, expecting to find their widows
dropping tears over the stockings they
were darning, and instead found them
walking down cellar backward, with a
lighted candle in one hand and a mir
rOr in the other.
A panic on Wall street is a mild affair
in comparison with household when
Mother" attempts to write a letter. In
1 the first place there is a wild search
for the ink; then, when it is found, the
pen is lost and has to be hunted up.
There is no letter paper and finally some
/ is taken from a school tablet; and then
the children stand around and watch
her write and ask her questions until
/ finally she closes her letter before she is
4 half through by saying: 1.-THE children
simply will not let me write" and the
poor little things are really crazy for
her to write.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.

IFrom the Philadelphia Record
Jack Frost gives the Thermometer
a call-down.
It is generally easier to discharge a
duty than a cook.
You can't save time by preserving
all the old calendars.
The man who tries to slip upstairs
at a. m. often has a slip up.
The man who can afford a press
agent feels puffed up about It.
The bootblack isn't the only fellow
who can take d shine to a girl.
Fortunate are they who can fail IN
love without hurting themselves.
The best way to keep out of a fight
is simply to wait until the other fellow
begins.
Many a woman has her character
bIackened who has never penci1ed her
eyebrows.
No, Maud. dear; the people who are
in the swim do not comprise the noat-
ing population.
Hoax-"I had a terrific cold ana
took the wrong medicine" Joax--
Had no scents Of right ana wrong,
eh?"
De Tanque-"Before Guzzler went
home last night he seemed to be talk
ing through his hat" O'Soaoue-
Eyes; too many night caps.''
Girls fish for husbands as for trout
Nor think it is a sin
That they should draw a fellow ont
Before they pull him In.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Let US hope that Kansas avenue will
be repaved in time for the 1911 expo
sition, in case it is held in Topeka
If it isn't held here, there is no hurry
of course.
The man who first found out that
money talks probably made the dis
cOvery when he heard the argument
It made along about election time.
The county treasurers over the state
have begun their annual task of listen
ing to the old joke about death and
taxes.
Before we go any further with the
semi-centennial, let it be put down in
black and white that the president of
the concern is not to have his picture
taken more than fifty per cent as often
as David r. Francis did his.
Labor news: Nineteen men were
standing around telling the six who
were working on the pavement at
Sixth and Kansas avenue yesterday
how it ought to be done.
The latest developments in the Kelly
case again prove that it's hard to
break an old dog of sucking eggs.
Of course. Washburn out of its
abundant sympathy is mighty
sorry for K. U. because of things she
is going to do to the Lawrence school
next Saturday.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04

Henry Vignaud. the venerable secretary
of the American embassy in Paris, has
done unique work as a historian, having
proved that Columbus was, among other
things a good deal of a prevaricator.
Mr. Vignaud was laughing the other
day about his reputed smashing of Co
lumbus' reputation.
Il have not smashed Columbus at all"
he said. columbus still remains a great,
a noble historical figure. But to hear
some people talk about my book, you
might think that it contained a smash~up
as great as"
Mr. Vignaud laughed.
"a smash-up," he continued, like that
which the New Orleans woman saw.
''She was walking along a quiet lane
one pleasant morning, when a man on a
bicycle halted her.
Is Madam he said, I am trying to over
take a friend of mine. Have you seen,
up in that direction, a gentleman riding
a bicxcle2'
q No, I've seen no bicycle" the woman
answered, but there's man up there sit
ting on the grass mending umbrellas -
Los Angeles Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04

Morton Albaugh is getting persnick-
lty. "The Topeka Capital" he says in
the Kingman Leader Courier. "goes
on telling the Republicans Of Kansas
who they should name for the differ
ent places on the ticket Just as though
IT had never been chiefly responsible
for j. r. Burton. T. r. Kelly. j. r.
Burrow, c. C. Coleman and about all
the other political misfits the state now
has in official life" Buy why shouldn't
h.? 1t amuses the Capital, and so far
has cost the state only the reputation
of having a corrupt United States sem
stor: a few hundred thousand dollars.
more or less loaned or otherwise taken
nut Of the state treasury; the Com
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04
No Race Suicide There.

Frederick Starr professor Of anthro-
pology of the University of Chicago, was
about to set off on his two years visit
to Africa.
you are going over there to study
the .pigmies. aren't your said a New
York reporter.
THAT guess is only partially correct"
Prof. starr answered, ''for I am going
to study other things, too"
He smiled and went on:
You remind me of a man who called
at a house which the stork had just
visited
"'Is it a boy or a grip said this man.
Guess said the father
"a boy the visitor hazarded.
You are only half right the father
answered with a sigh
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04
HVMOR or THE Day

eyes. she's ordered all the papers made
what was the trouble2"
his name on the top line and she had to
sign under him. ''-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
He-It viii have to be love IN 3 cottage.
She-Oh! Charles, a cottage at New
port?-Phiiadelphia Press
she-They've been secretly engaged for
year.
she-Why, she's told almost everybody.
Chicago Journal.
susie-Just thinIzl Tom says there isn't
a girl in town with complexion ike
Lucie-Isn't he the MISUNDERSTANDING
Leader.
Adam was showing Eve the beautiful
sights. in tbs. Garden Of Eden HOW 40
''ont Tn sorry about one thing"
81 have no friends to send souvenir
postal cards tot" she answered with a.
dry sob.-Chicago Tribune.
she-Do you believe men are as brave
now as they. used to be2
He-Sure; just see the poetry SONS men
write now.-Yonkers Statesman.
Frank-Do you ever accept retainerS
from railroads or other CORPORATIONS?
wen, yes" replied Senator Smoothguys
occasionally.
rants, even demand them. Chicago
JaggIes-''How do you know you
talked sensibly to your wife7" WaR-
gles-"She wouldn't listen to me-
Judge.
Shoemaker-''Do you know why that
gentleman's shoes creak?" Tailor
mo; why?" Because he hasn't paid
for them" That's no reason-H it
were, his coat would creak. too
Translated for Tales from "El Calen-
dario Espanol."
First Chauffeur--Do you believe in mu-
nicipal ownership?
about own the earth anyhow.-New York
"Oh, my" exclaimed Mrs. Shopper. L
have lost my pocketbook.
Never mind. dear" replied her hus-
band, "IH get you another pocketbOok
and you can easily collect more dress
goods samples. Philadelphia Press.
Il don't know of anything worse than
a champagne thirst and beer incomet'
said Waddles as he picked up the bill Of
4 do" chirped TwaddIes. ITS beef
steak appetite and pork ana beans sal
ary!'-Detroit Free Press.
Towne-It doesn't seem to have done
Gagley any good to join the church He
appears ~ pt SIOuCA1tSE llldA ever since
he got religion.
Browne-I don't believe he's got it at
all. III bet what he takes for religion
is merely CONGRATULATIONS Press.
Knotte Yette-You mean to say that
the use Of hair dye is dangerous?
Ben Thayer-I do. Let me tell you
something. A dear friend of mine a
happy bachelor, found his hair was
turning gray at 30 Well, he had it
dyed q deep black. -Four weeks later he
was married. for Tales from
Fliegende Batter.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04
DinfcuIties of the English Tongue.

Walter Christie, with his racing car,
the Blue Flyer, was talking to a
French chauffeur on the Cape May
beach.
"Eet makes warm said the French
man, wiping his brow.
You mean it is Warm-nOt it makes
warm, said Mr.. Christie, laughing.
you remind me of the Frenchman at
the English Alpine club.
This Frenchman said enthusiastic
ally to a red-faced stout Englishman
with calves as big as barrels:
All, you have climb re Matter
horn? It is a foot to be proud Of
" Pardon me- the Englishman re-
turned. You don't mean foot. You
mean feat.
"'Ah, said the Frenchman, you have
climb her more zan once, helm ? -
Los Angeles Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04

DR.. Washington GLADDEN. was attack
ing certain unfortunate tendencies of
modern finance.
"A modern financier of this type he
said humorously, '.was robbed on Broad
way the other day A little urchin in
sorry rags slipped up behind him and
snatched his handkerchief from his
pocket
Someone grabbed the boy-caught
him red-handed. A crowd collected. A
man said:
Z will run for the police
But the fnancier fixed a not unlxindly
look upon the trembling little culprit.
9 oh let him alone he said. I be-
gan business in a small way myself
Exchange.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04
TIP FOR CALDERHEAD.

One by one the Kansas representa-
tives are getting on the Roosevelt side
of the railroad rate controversy Con-
gresham Campbell was the first to an
nounce himself. Others followed. Con-
gresham Reeder is the last one to an
nounce himself. He said to a reporter:
Just say I'm for what Roosevelt
wants." Congressman Calderhead, how
ever fails to get his ear to the ground.
He still believes the railroads are priv
ate property and can charge for service
the same as a farmer can charge for the
grain he raises. There will be an awak-
ening in the Fifth district some day
Arkansas City Traveller.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04
HEBE,s PLANT.

" ny don't the men propose, mammal
" ny don't the men propose?
Each seems just coming to the point
And then away he goes!
It is no fault OF yours, mamma,
That everybody knows;
You fete the finest men in town.
Yet, oh, they won't propose.
I'm sure I've done my best, mamma,
To make the proper match;
For coronets and eldest sons
I'm ever on the watch:
I've hopes when some distingue beau
A glance upon me throws:
But though he'll dance, and smile and
fiirt,
Alas, he won't propose!
And what is to be done. mamma?
On, what is to be done?
l really have no time to lose,
For l am thirty-One.
At balls I am too often left
" here spinsters sit in rows;
why don't the men propose, mamma?
my don't the men propose?
Toronto Mail and Empire.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04

Uncle Shelby Cu1lom and Joe Dol
liver made a friendly little call at the
white house a day or two ago, and the
railroad magnates have had their ears
to the ground ever since trying to
catch what was said.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04
REFLECTIONS or A BACHELOR

IFrom the New York Press
A good way to be fooled about your
sons virtues is to think you are fool
ing him about yours.
What mortifies the father of the
tenth child is TO think how CAV ne
felt at the time Of the first
A nice thing about being in politics
is you never fear that anything worse
can happen to you in the next world.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04

If it were not for the fact that Muir
ply and Tammany were supporting
him, Mayor Mcclellan would perhaps
stand far better in New York. It is
his hackers that make him a suspicious
clfnracfer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04

The worst feature about suppress
ing an improper play or book is that
it makes a lot OF improper people anx-
fous to see or read it who would not
otherwise have had enough INTEL
igence to have known about it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04

The State Journal is a member Of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report OF that great news or
Ganlzatlou for exclusive evening puDu-
cation in Topeka.
The State journal receives for exclusive
publication the leased wire report OF the
7l1bliahers' Press for the edition for sun
day morning.
The news is received in the State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04

If the Australian ballot is properly
used, it really means the same as pre-
soribing qualifications of education and
Intelligence to secure the right to vote.
If it were not for the circle arrange
naent no one could vote an Australian
ballot and have it counted unless he
mad been educated to It.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04

If Tom Kelly has to pay the Devlin
estate that three thousand dollars he
viii doubtless look upon it as a real
hardship. unless he can persuade the
next legislature to fix it so that he can
reimburse" himself without having
to pay it back again.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04
JARRELLfS OBSERVATION.

To tell a homely woman that beauty
is only skin deep; that pretty is as pref
ty does; that men in marrying are like
~ to choose character rather than
looks; in fact all the comforting adages
of the past few centuries, will not de-
ter her from trying all the remedies
for LONELINESS advertised in the maya
zines.-Holton Signal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04

Some fears are expressed that the
Russian people will misuse their lib
erty. This would not be especially sur
prising, inasmuch as they have never
had an opportunity to use any in the
past. and are therefore somewhat I'M
acquainted with what should be done
st
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04

Now there is a suspicion that Tam
many got Mr.. Jerome to declare what
he would do to the insurance grafters
in order to get the grafters to dig up
more literally to defeat Jerome.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04
TOUGH ON NELSON.

Alfred Austin has been writing an
ode to Nelson on the occasion of the
Trafalgar centennial AS Nelson has
been dead for some time he cannot
help himself, and Mr.. Austin is per-
feetly safe-Baltimore American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04
PLENTY OF TIME 10 THINK.

Mr. Edward George Cunliffe found
that his $65 a month job made living
hard lines for him; but he is now
about to find that harder still is the
way of the transgressor. He did not
think of that when he stole the money.
He will have ample time for re4lec-
ton now.-Seattle observation-disclosures
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04

The latest bunch Of victims of
County Attorney Wagstafr of Mont
gOmery county seventeen jointists
have just been sentenced to serve var
ious terms in the county Jail and to
contribute literally, II unwillingly, to
the school fund OF the county.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04
FINE ENDORSEMENT.

Thirty-six babies We're born in New
Orleans the day after President ROose-
Welt visited that city, breaking the eity's
birth record in any one day. It was
a f1ne endorsement of Mr.. Roosevelt's
stork policy.-Concordia Blade.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04
THE PERNICIOUs SUIT CASE.

The suit case is getting into bad
company. In Boston it concealed the
eiismembered body of a. murdered girl.
and it now appears that the money
which Cunliffe stole from the Adams
Express company was carried from
Pittsburg to Bridgeport in a suit case.
Is it going to be that no man can
carry a suit case without being sus-
recfad 2-COlnrn DISPATCH.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04

A newspaper correspondent just has
to say something startling to hold his
job, so Walter Wellman springs
prophecy that the Democrats will nom
mate Theodore Roosevelt for president
in 190S.-Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04
TAKING EVERY PROBATION.

The White House cat Sky has
disappeared. Perhaps Secretary Loeb
made way with her to prevent the
news leakage that has been going on
since the muzzle order went into eff
fect-Houston Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04
IMPROVEMENT NEEDED.

If national control of insurance COM
panies were to be made an issue at a
popular election today, very few would
be the votes cast against it.-St. Paul
Pioneer Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04

One Of the most fearful combinations
in the calendar is that by which the
first of the month follows Hallowe' en-
Ottawa Republic
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04

1t is evident that this joke about
everybody in Philadelphia being
asleep is an error. Somebody stayed
awake to do the stealing.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04

anche county bond deal. and various
other things of like nature. So why
should Mr.. Albaugh make fuss about
with Il
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04

Secretary Taft says Cincinnati Re
publicans are not as good as they might
have been. Charles Emory Smith once
stated that the ten commandments
could not be passed through the coun-
Gil without money being used.-Iola
Record
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04
OPEN no SUSPICION.

A servant who dressed like an English
lord is suspected of robbery. A man
who dresses in that fool fashion is
likely to be suspected of anything
Baltimore Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04

1t is reported that a great deal Of
betting IS being done in New York on
the result Of the election. but it isn't
likely that much money is really being
put up.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04
THE HARVEST.

Unquestionably these disclosures re-
garding commercial and financial rot
tenness are sowing seed that viii pro-
duce q large crop of cynics and social
ists.-Boston Transcript.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04
ESPECIALLY LAME POETRY.

England's poet laureate also con-
tinues to offer frequent arguments
against government control of things.
Butte Inter-Mountain.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04

There are a good many people who
feel just now that a safe and sane
Halloween is needed fully as much
as a safe and sane Fourth of July.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04
Isolation of the Untaught Deaf Mute

The eye can never take the place
of the ear. During the first twelve or
fourteen years of normal life knowl-
edge enters the mind, mainly, through
the ear. The little deaf-mute is there
fore, a thousand times more isolated
than the child who is born blind. In
the domain of morals the uneducated
deaf-mute's isolation is made danger
Gus by the fact that the allurements to
sin are mostly addressed to the eye,
while its restraints, in youth at least,
are mainly appeals to the ear. More
over, the blind child, cultivating his
hearing, is only going back to nature
to his forebears, the cave dwellers
Next to the search for food, listening
for sounds is, perhaps. mans syrong-
est primal instinct. The deaf learner,
dependent solely upon his eyes, has, of
course, the first instinct, without the
safeguard of the second.-Sarah Har-
vey Porter in The Reader for Novem-
Der.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04

Perhaps those Russian revolution
lists are just impressing the car with
the fact that they viii not stand for
any Jerking back on the manifesto.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04

New York isn't 50 bad as it has
been painted. It very properly sup
pressed that indecent play Of G. Ber-
nard Shaw.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04

Very likely in a few years the Rus
SLAMS will be making as big a fuss
about "the machines as we do in this
country
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04
Will GET THE NEWS.

President ROosevelts order forbId-
ding cabinet members to talk to cor
respondents is not approved by the
cabinet members and the correspond
ents. The public doesn't seem to be
worried about it, however--Toledo
Blade.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04
Alas, he won't propose!
Mr.. Hughes as a Cross Examiner.

MI Hughes as q Cross Examiner.
The man who has made the officers
OF the insurance companies give up
their most carefully guarded secrets Is
IN appearance very mild and harmless
looking individual. The New York Life
official Just before he was made to tell
of that $4,000 campaign contribution,
craftily kept off the books" until
month after election day. probably
thought Mr.. Hughes was asleep until
his questions had led up to the one
crucial question that called for the dam
aging admission or equally damaging
evasion. Mr.. Hughes often looks az
though he was half asleep, an impress
sion he gives by a trick of letting his
eyelids droop until his eyes are almost
closed. He does this in conversation as
well as in court and whether it is stu
died or not, it is very useful in throwing
a witness off his guard. From the fact
that those eyelids always open at just
the right moment, I imagine that they
are more perfectly under control than
they seem to be.-David T. Pierce, in
The World Today for November.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04

What Russia appears to need more
than anything else is a brand of pa
triotism that has the real good of the
country at heart.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-04

Reformed football seems to be some
thing like other reformations-most
lmaginarY.