Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1905-12-22

GOOD
Short
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II Nelson was not an aulnOr ne at
least enriched the language with one
great, though adversely reported,
phrase. He was n day talking to
Mrs. Swinburne, of Hamsterly, and he
conversation turned on Frenchmen. Il
never see a ~Frenchman, Mrs. SWIM
/ burne,' said Nelson, without SILVER
ing from head to foot
A colored undertaken was requested
to embalm the body of a colored man.
The wife of the deceased asked what
the cost would be. He named his usual
! charge, to which h quickly replied:
II think that's toe much But 1t IS
the regular Fee" protested the under
taker. THAT may be-" assented the
widow, but this ain a regular corpse.
My husband had a wooden leg .
A red-headed man one night raked
up enough courage to propose to a girl
with whom he was very deeply and sim
cerely in love. She replied to his suit
in a sad voice: I'm very sorry,
George, but l could never marry any
one with red hair" THAT is nothing"
said her sutton, my barber tells me
hat ut the rate my hair is falling out
III be completely bald in two years."
Bishop Bloomfield, of England, dis
covered II day, as he entered the pull
pit, he had forgotten the manuscript Of
his sernion He was obliged to preach
extempore, taking for his theme the
existence of God. AS he walked home
he overlook one Of his congregation,
whose opinion Of the sermon he in
vited. "Well, it We're a very good SER
mon," was the reply, but l don't agree
wi it. l believe there is a God"
The number Of Joneses in Wales Is
Illustrated by a story told Of a certain
Oxford college, much resorted to by
Welshmen. A man from another col
lege went into it's quad in search Of
a friend, and called "Jones!" All the
windows looking on the quad flew
open. Il want John JONES'" said the
man. Half the windows closed. Il
mean the John Jones who has got a
toothbrush" All the windows closed
but one.
A Christian Brahmin was preaching
the gospel in the Deccan, when a Hin
doc in the congregation began vehe-
mently to contradict. In good Oriental
fashion the sermon was Immediately
suspended, and the disputants retired
to a garden to settle the point at their
leisure. The substance Of the debate
was this: You declare God to be in
finite" said the Hindoo. Yes" What
is the meaning of infinite?" ut means
llmitless." And what part Of speech
is good?' Good is an adjective"
And what is the grammatical func-
ton of an adjectiye?" ITO limit a
noun" How then do you apply an
adjective to God, calling Him good,
Inc thus limiting the limitless?"
In the early days, when the people
sent their wisest men to max the pub
lie laws, a man of peculiar traits, but
Of sterling worth, was sent to the State
Legislature from a small Eastern
town. He wore an old fashioned rustic
costume, which was sadly out Of place
in the legislative hall, where some of
the fastidious statesmen WED with
each other in the correctness Of their
attire. Soon after his arrival one of
the representatives called out to him:
Have you no smarter men than you
to send to the Legislature from your
district?" The man smiled innocently,
as he replied: There's a heap o.
smarter men up my way, but the devil
Of it is they hain't got no clothes good
enough to wear down here"