The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-04-29
HUa1oR OF THE DAY.

HUMoR OF THE DAY.
Mrs. Highhorse-Of course am partic-
ular about the family my son InarTies ~
to. Is there any faint IN your plood' suCh
as Iunacy for instance2
Mr.. Newrox-No. madam, and there's
not going to be, either! I told my qaugn-
ter II she married your son T. cut her on
without cent!-Detroit Free Press.
docs he get much for his work."
"All that he's worth"
"I don't see how he can live '-Clevo-
land Plain Dealer
JudEe-six nonthsl
Cos Cob Conan. wot q relief Now I
kin stop worrying about where m going
ter spend de summer--Puck
Nibbs-I left that boarding house be-
cause the food was adulteratea
NibBs-Yss. it vas g mixed mixed, W e. With e too
troit Free Press.
Bessie how many sisters has your new
She has one, mamma She tried to fool
me BY saying she had two half sisters;
but guess she didn.t know y. that 1 stuoleo
..De trouble wifi some mighty smart
raer1." said Uncle Eben. rs DAT when q
m15e mental aTifmetfc about it dat it's
Washington Star.
s'tvvhere did he get all his money! I
thought he had some insignificant posi-
"oh. my, no! He was a Pullman por-
ter.''-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Edythe-Divorcei Well. I neveri What
2 1;5i5- he very best 4 quarter section
in North Dakota and q three-acre plot az
Newport.-Puck-
A Young Barbarian.-Fond Mother
Tommy. darling, this Is your olrenoey'
What would you like best?
/ Tommy after a moments rehectionl-
think I should enjoy seeing the baby
spanked ck-Me-Up.
mo man is d hero to his valet" said
| the ouotationist.
The he average Wallets idea Of heroism is
measured by the amount OF money you
are willing to part with in tips. wash
ington Star.
Hell detest raEtime.
He-Then why don't you stop playing it
why don't you listen?
She-I am listening-go on.
| she-Oh, deari And this ragtime is the
/ only thing that will keep Aunt Susan out
| Of the room!-1ife.
South Carolina is growing tea. This
should be unnecessary IN 0lSpenSdFy
/ state.-Atlanta Journal.
FINALLY one of the men kicked the girl
and told her to get out says account
/ of & little social affair in New York It
seems they are introducing their life in
surance into society over there--Washing-
ton Post.
| We read the report that 10000 men were
killed and wounded on both sides in the
/ battle of Mukden without fully realizing
what those awful figures mean. Here are
Fr~rv 5ac tTq7a eyfT7 iofa FN1T0
| bred thousand casualties. equal;
Three hundred Iroquois theater disas-
! a hundred and fifty slocum disasters.
Eighty JohnstOwn foods.
The total pOpulation-men, women and
children-of city like Minneapolis.
/ The population Of the states Of Idaho
and Nevada combined.
The entire Boer population, OF both
! sexes and all ages, Of the two South Arr
/ can republics, which resisted the whole
power Of the British empire for over two
years.-Colliers Weekly.
A mixture of fresh air and sunshine "a.
| ken any time before or after meals is the
! best preventive against the meningitis
germ. -Chicago News
The New York legislature ought to be
| able to collect some heavy damages for
SANDER if it is innOcent-RecOrd-H Herald.
After I had natricuIated in the college
| I fell in with four other fellows, strangers
in Philadelphia. There was one boy from
Texas, who had been here the year before
and he invited US to see the sights" OF
course, being a raw country boy, I had no
idea of what seeing the sights meant
had read in the newspapers about New
! York by Cfaslight'' and such things, but
4 I was green. I shall never forget that
first night, although did nothing which 1
regret What 1 saw then led me to re
solve that If I ever had the opportunity
Ia give my energy to helping fallen hui
manjty-Public Opinion.
one of the Philadelphia courts has re-
neWed its assurance Of sympathy with and
co 11r@T
Judge Davis who. by the way, presided
at the trial of salter, has laid down a rule
which will make conviction for padding
registry lists impossible. - Harrisburg
state Independent.
OF all tributes to the late Gov. Bout
well that paid by Col: T. W. Higginson
is best; when conscience bade him he
could Withstand even friends. Boston
Record.
A wealthy woman in New Jersey has
appealed to the courts to help her to dis
charge her hOusekeeper. The expected has
happened--Baltinore American.
Love ought to thank its lucky stars for
its blindness since il would see many
funny sights were its eyes epen.-Medford
Mercury.
AS the cars throne has been tottering
for some time, the jar Of that big battle
now due in the China seal may yet tip it
clear over.-Chicago News.
It is now plain that the heresy charges
against. governor EabC0 VIII nave 10 De
dropped. He said last week: Il believe the
whole of the Bible, including the story
about the whale. kansas City Star.
Russia after all this trouble has not
learned enough to know that the van
pushed can not procure peace on his own
terms.-Memphis News Scimitar
If President Roosevelt wants some real
sport he should come back from the
mountains and lock horns with the critters
who are manipulating May Wheat.-St.
Louis Globe-Democrat.
The platform OF the new Democracy