Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1905-08-16

eoSoo.o.~e~o
rs 1t true that the Bloptons are liv-
ing beyond their incomeY" Worse
than that. They're living beyond their
credit. Brooklyn Life,
Jack dn a museum)-This collection
OF stuffed animals is said to be valued
at thousands of dollars. Flo-Is is
possible? What are they stuffed
Withdrew Yorker.
Deacon Jones-In the better land
everything will be made known. Mrs.
Frye-Won't that be fine! I've always
wondered how old Sarah Wilson was.
Transcript.
THE automobile has not accomplish
ed much in actual business" said the
unitarian. "Oh, yes. it has. 1t has
helped accident insurance a great
deal."-Washington Star.
This meat" protested the boarder,
Is overdone." Not exactly, it amt"
replied the waitress; Its done over.
This Is the same meat you had YES
terday. philadelphia Press.
Flatbroke-I'm sorry can't pay
that Dill now-you'll have to wait
awhile. And I'd like suit this spring.
too. Tailor-You'll get it. I'm going
to start one to-morrow.-Cleyeland
Leader.
Tired Mother Ito restless child
NOW you set still. I've drug you ten
miles to enjoy this entertainment and
you shall enjoy it If l have to pull
every hair out Of your head!-Kansas
City Independent.
You can always tell an English
man." began the Britlsher, boasttully.
But 1t would only be a waste of
BREATH" Interrupted the Yankee, "be-
cause he thinks he knows 1T all."-
Philadelphia Ledger.
Bessie, haw many sisters has your
new playmate "She has one, NAM
ma. She tried to fool ME by saying
she had two half-sisters; but guess
she didn't know that 1 studied frac-
lions. Washington Life.
Typewriter Agent-Pardon me, sir.
but may l ask what is the style Of
your typewriter? Merchant (enthusi-
astically)-Right up to date. Elbow
sleeves. lace insertion shirt-waist, and
all that sort of thing.-New York
Weekly.
What kind of looking man is that
chap Gabbleton you just mentioned?
don't believe have met him." "Well.
II you see two men off in corner any
where and one of them looks bored to
death, the other one is Gabbleton."
what conclusion did your literary
and debating society reach last night"
Oh" answered Miss Cayenne, 1.-The
conclusion was as usual-chicken
salad, ice cream, and Goodnight; had
a perfectly lovely time Washing.
ton Star.
Mr.. Dresser-Didn't that new nurse
come that I engaged for little Clar-
ence? Mrs. Dresser-Oh, yes, but she
wouldn't do! She had nothing but blue
dresses to wear, and blue you know is
only for girl babies. Pink's for boys.
Press.
"Are you going to Europe this sum-
mer2" II don't know" answered Mrs.
Cumro4;- going to Europe isn't what
1t used to be, you know. When man.
travels now lot of people turn up
their noses and wonder whether
grand jury is after him."-Washing-
ton Star.
Wee Hostess-AIamma, shall invite
Lucy Littnay to my party? Mamma
Certainly. She is the minister daugh.
ter. do ministers daughters get in
vited everywhere?" Always" "rhey
has lots of fun, s'pose? wish my
papa was minister stead of miser-
able sinner"
Mrs. Highhorse-Of course, 1 am
particular about the family my son
marries into. Is there any faint In
your blood, such as lunacy, for in
stance. Mr.. Newrox-No, madam, and
there's not going to be either! told
my daughter If she married your son
troit Free Press.
Mrs. NUDGE do admire the women
you draw, Mr.. Penink. They are SO
beautiful and so refined. Tell me, who
is your model? Mrs. Nudge rises in
Mrs. Penink's opinion.l Penink-Oh,
my wife always sits for me. Mrs.
Nudge with great surprlse)-You
don't say so! Well, l think you're one
of the cleverest men know! Mrs.
Penink's opinion of Mrs. Nudge falls
below zero. Punch.
my dear" said patient wife who
had been studying the war news. "if
l were to marry again would marry
a Russian" whats the trouble
now?" inquired the husband tremulous-
~. when you came home last night
you left your hat and umbrella on the
dining room table, your collar and
necktie were under the chair and your
watch this morning is run down. A
can at least retire In good Or
der!"
Mrs. B.--I suppose you find your
daughter very much improved by her
two years stay at college? Mrs.
Proudmother-La, yes! Mary Eliza
beth is a carnivorous reader now. and
she frequently impoverishes music.
But she amt bit stuck up-she's
to everybody, an she never
keeps caller waitin for her to dress:
she just runs in nom de plume, an
you know that makes one feel SO COM
fortable.-Lipnincott's.