The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-07-30
Upon What Money
Should a Couple Wed
(Helen OIdfieId in Chicago Tribune)

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who do not at some time during their
lives entertain the idea OF marriage and
no question is more seriously considered
or more frequently asked than: Upon
now much or upon how little money is
II safe. not to say prudent for two peo-
deep import it is one which demands
different answer in every case. 1T de-
Men and women also are of SO many diff
Ierent minds. such varied tempera tments.
with such widely differing standards and
Geslres that no hard and fast rules may
ps made for any two especially not by
other people. The manner of man, the
environment. and above all, character,
nave each and ali much TO say in the
premises. And since the contract is pre-
sumably for life il is the bounden duty
OF every man and woman to think care
iully again before he or she assumes
Durden which by every law of love and
honor one must bear bravely and well to
prove ''niddering'-an old Saxon term for
In the first place the question involves
Doth physical and mental ability. and en-
duranee OF body, Of heart, and of spirit,
not only personal but vicarious. which TO
the best and noblest is harder "a wife
ana children are poverty's teeth and they
bite hard says Victor Huge Neither
can it be otherwise than bitter for low
ING woman TO feel that perhaps her hus-
tfsl mlgnt have climbed higher without
What is enough for one is not enough
Tor two; no arithmeticaI formula has ever
made equal to the whole Yet il is certain
that iII some hands a single dollar will
ac g more than two In others, nay,
az mncn as ten; sometimes when strength,
knowledge, and good will go to the effort
W nat 1t costs to live has long been and
must continue to be a veXed problem i'm
political as well as in domestic economy.
II is not so much the love of money as tfle
lack Of it which is the root of evil ssBe
happy and you will be viftuous." para
phrases Mark Twain; be rich while you
may fall short OF goodness, you are
yam's
\ book of verses underneath the bough,
a jug OF wine. a loaf of bread and thou
Beside me- singing in the wilderness;
~, wilderness were paradise enOw
can hardly be expected to suffice for any
out intense lovers. who are poets and
as well. Robert Grant dem
onstrates clearly that life upon less than
$4,000 a year is not life. merely exist
encei an appalling ton. since
thereby but a few hundred thousands of
the SOOvO,eOO people of the United States
can be said to do more than exist The
balance fall far, far below, since Stats
IhilIlonalreS the average income of the
aoult citizen is fraction under $500
yearly; Which sum, although it means
starvation to some, signifies to many
comfortable independence
No girl who has not been brought up
IN the school of poverty. who cannot ex-
ercise practical economy, and, moreover.
do without cheerfully, is fit to be wife
70 poor man, while even such one is
much less courage and strength of pur-
pose to marry poverty than patiently and
accept the consequences.
Theoretically no two people have the
right to marry upon absolutely nothing a
year: The fact that 1t has been done sue
CessIuIly IN noWlse controvertS this state
ment. Men have leaped from precipices
and lived, but such escape does not in
sure the lives of their imitators. There
ought to be an income. or at least an as
sured salary. sufficient to keep a roof over
the heads of the couple, buy bread and
81 alFad fhas a-f ~
the actual necessaries of life. even though
[ he lovers are. or suppose themselves to
again, arises aonther difficulty. How
shaH one fix the boundary between the
and luXuries?
Enough" is an elastic quantity To
one woman 1t means five-room flat SIM
ply furnished, where she works willingly
with her hands; to another woman town
house, a country house, carriages and SER
wants, gowns from Paris and London,
Jewels, laces and all the frills OF fashion;
and who shall say that the woman in the
back street is not happier than she who
dweIis upon the boulevard2 We have all
viii turn her back on palace to abide in
a shanty.
before any and every undertaking. The
TWO who marry, expecting to face poverty
together, should be absolutely sure of
themselves reasonably so Of one another
When they take their way into the will
derness. hand in hand. there must be no
repining. no regretful longings for the
strength and courage for the journey
across the desert. The germ of success.
Or failure, is within themselves: it depends
on the two who are made one.
1t IS sometimes safer to marry poor
who has made his mark in other lines
than that of money making. tells how his
father and motiler-in-law had grave
doubts as 70 his ability TO support
q wife. and gave reluctant consent to
his marriage. Per contra, many of us
viii recall a brilliant marriage in an
eastern CITY few where
youth and beauty and wealth were united
with great rejoicing; but when the wood
en- anniversary came around the millions
were dissipated and a miserable and in
Jured woman was suing for divorce.
One connot always tell" Jhere are
many fortunate matrimonial ventures
from which money. and calculations as to
money, are wholly absent, but they re
cure the presence of an unusual amount
Of common sense, judgment and good HUI
NOR on both sides TO make them so.
W omen, under any and all circumstances,
take heavier risks than men do when they
marry. However much in love they may
be, however admirable the man of their
choice, when they marry poverty. the
prospect imediately ahead of them is one
OF petty cares, of contracted, often un-
general society; in short, of continual self
sacrifice, which If not gladly made, can
not fail to be wariDg. perhaps unendur-
aDle- Personal inclination and tastes must
always be subordindted to insure happi-,
ness in marriage under any circum-
stances when one is poor they must be
forgotten in the iucessant demands Of
duty and hard tasks must be performed
without expectation of thanks
or appreciation. Neither can il be de-
MED that poor man feels his position as
lord OF creation quite as much as a
wealthy one, and is less likely to have ac-
quired early habits of consideration def
erence and care for women. 1t is scarcely
fair TO expect him to realize or appre-
ciate the sacrifice of habits and tagtes
which he has never known
Yet all must admit that those who win
are usually those who take risks: none
theiess every woman should remember
that in this world, at least, she has but
one life.
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