The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-10-22
SOCKLESS JERRY.
Stories Dug Up From Records of the
Past and cooIIy Appropriated.
(Pittsburg Dispatch.)


| No state has contributed more TO the
'gayety of nations" than Kansas; and
of all the galaxy of political and social
| characters that have made the Sun
/ flower state famous not the least OF
| these is Jeremiah Simpson, or +'SOckless
/ Jerry" as they used TO call him in the
/ heydey OF Populism. But the dispatches
! say Jerry is i'll now, nigh unto death.
| Let US hope, for the sake Of the spice
] of life, that he will recover, as he did
from his malady of six years ago.
AT that time he recuperated at Ex-
| celsior Springs. There is a proud say
ing in that Missouri Town that if one
desires To prosper and have friends
there he must do three things faithful
I ly; eat catfish, drink whisky and vote
the Democratic ticket straight and al
ways. Now Jerry ,abhoTs catfish,
shuns whisky and hates a Democrat.
That is why he had lonesome time of
il in Excelsior Springs.
When Mr.. Simpson arrived at the no.
tel there the news feaehed the parlor
ana several feminine guests hustled
cut TO look at the signature on the reg
lister.
oh" giggled one of them, address
ing the clerk, Il wonder If he wears
socks?' H.
Mr. Simpson, who was standing by.
heard the remark. The women all
laughed at the query, but they stopped
suddenly when Jerry quietly said TO
the clerk:
Il wonder if they wear stockings2"
The women then fed to the parlDr,
and their comments on the Kansas man
were not very hattering.
There were several old fellows in
congress l used TO like to get a jolk
on" said Jerry in q reminiscent mood,
land one of these was Cannon Of Hi
noiS. | had made an anti-eXpansion
speech, and Cannon got up and said
that If had made that speech in Man
lila | would have been tried by a drum
head courtmartial and shot. When he
had finished / got up and said woui-
just as soon be shot in Manila for
making a speech of that kind as 10 be
shot in congress by an old, smooth
bore brass Cannon from Illinois. Tom
Reed enjoyed that very much, and he
shook all over with suppressed latS-@-
ter. lie came up to me afterward and
said: That was all right jerry. l
forgive you a lot OF things for that
About that Dingley episode. 1t was
not who discovered Dingley's hat; it
was a Republican member Dingley
used to wear Il fine plug hat that was
regular cloud of smoke by day and
a pillar of fire by night We Populists
used to take n shot at ii every once
ia a while. When he was mi the house
DiRgley always kept ID standing rim
up on a corner of his desk. One day
a Republican happened to look into
it and said TO me: Jerry, go over and
look into Dingley's hat l did so, but
didn't find any eSgs or anything and
said so, 1 was told 10 look again. Then
I saw the word London aud sailed into
Dingley, the high priest of protection,
for wearing a London-made hat. 1t
was in fun. but Dingley took the matter
very seriously. and spluttered and
fumed and said: It's all rot. That
hat was made in Connecticut. and the
London was put into Il to catch the
d0des.
Then / said: We'll, caught a
dude from Maine with it, He wuuldn't
speak to me for month on that ac-
count, but one day / went to him and
said:
See here, DingIey, how much
longer are you going to sulk about that
old hat business
Anu Ht lduSutu anu bQl out MS
hand, and We became good friends
again. Reed enjoyed this joke on
DingIey immensely. He knew it WAS
a joke, and that his fellow statesman
had simply been tTipped up"
Simpson in the plunge was an en-
tirely different mrp from the states
man at the hotel. The evening he went
Ia there Was big crowd of spectators.
not many OF whom knew Simpson when
he came out in his bathing suit An
Excelsior Springs bathing suit. is. a
weird garment. complete disguise to
the figure. IT buttons over each shoul-
der, and the WeaTer must be a contoT-
zionist TO get it fastened 1t has a short
skirt sewed TO it below the waist. This
did not add to Simpsons natural
beauty. But he was soon in the water
with a crowd of small boys and kept
10 the shadows. As soon as It was
noised about that the noted Jerry
simpson was in the plunge everyone
stared at him until at last they drove
him out and into his clothes again.
~ was having a good time with the
boys" said he but | couldn't stand
the others JheV seemed IL think they