davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30

Bishop Ellison Capers of South Caro-
I'm recently addressed a meeting Of
confederate veterans in Columbia.
In the course of his address Bisbon
Gamers spoke of those men who deceive
their wives, pretending that they are
detained late at their offices on business
wnen really they are spending the
evening at the theater or the club.
"These men," he said, ARE fewer
than the comic writers of the press
would have us believe; but, nevertbe-
less here and there they do exist. I
wish that they could all be caught as
nicely as one of them, a resident of
Columbia. was caught the other day.
He said to his wife as he was leav-
ing home in the morning:
..Oh, by the way, my dear, if | find
{ can't get away from the works in
time for dinner tonight I'll send YOU q
note By a messenger
.sThe wife in tart tone replied:
You needn't bother. have already
found the note in your coat pocket"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30

1t was on Nov. 16, B. G. 234S, that
Noah and the animals came out of the
ark, according to Archbishop Ussher's
chronology Several experts have cal
culated that they had enjoyed ample
accommodation in the ark. Sir Walter
Raleigh computed that there were
eighty-nine distinct species of beasts
to be provided for, 40f lest any should
be omitted, hundred several kinds"
He allowed that one elephant would
want as much space as four beeves and
one lion as two wolves, and found that
there was room for 81, or, say, 100
beeves, so sheep and ga wolves, which
sufficed. One story or room would hold
these, another their meat, third the
birds and their food, and still there was
space FOR Noah and his family.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30
First Book Auction.

Speaking of auctions and auctioneers
a book dealer says: The first book
auction in England of which we have
any record is of a date as far back as
1916 when the library of DR.. Seaman
was brought TO the hammer Prefxed
to the catalogue there is an address
which thus begins: Reader, it hath not
been usual here in England to make
sale of books by way of auction, or
who will give the most for them; but,
1t having been practiced in other coun-
tries to the advantage of both buyers
and sellers, it was therefore conceived
for the encouragement of learning) to
publish the sale of these books in this
manner of way"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30
Pairing In Parliament.

The custom of pairing is quite I'M
known to the forms of parliament it
self. Any mention of it within either
chamber would be altogether cut OF
order but there is a pleasant fiction
that it is a purely private arrangement
to be made at the discretion of those
concerned. This is true enough to a
limited extent and for a short time,
but pairing on any great party division
cannot be lightly carried out, and a
member who desires to pair at such a
time will find that this can only be
done safely through the whips and not
at all unless some really good reason
can be given for absence. = London
Times
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30
Better Than n Shoehorn.

Here is something | learned from
an Englishman | met while at a
friends house, said lawyer. The
house was in the suburbs, and we We're
occupying the same room. / found |
had forgotten to bring shoehorn and
asked the Englishman if he had one,
No, I haven't he said. Why don't
you use a towelT "A towel? l replied.
Yes, towel Here, let me show you.
Take a corner Of the towel, so; lay the
point in the heel OF your shoe, so; put
your foot in as far as it will go, right
on top of the towel. Now, grab the
towel and pull up on it See how easy
your foot slides in? It's better than a
shOehorn'
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30
He Shut the Fire In.

A bright lad was given a dime the
other day by visitor to whom he had
been exhibited as the pride of the
household. The youngster promptly
lost the coin under the bed in his room
and in searching for it with lighted
candle set fire to the bedding. He
found the dime and went downstairs
without saying word about the con-
fiagration. A few minutes later the
head of the house shifted suspiciously.
II smell smoke" he remarked. Some
things burning IT'S my room," ad-
mitted the youthful prodigy, but" he
added reassuringly, with flash of the
brightness ia which the family took SO
much pride, 1.-The fire can't get out. I
closed the door tight The fire de-
partment arrived in time to save the
house.-Philadelphi Record.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30
Sleeping In Church.

Some men preach said Sydney
Smith, las if they thought sin is to
be taken out of a man as Eve was
taken out of Adam, by casting him
into a profound slumber." So at any
rate thought not South, who, preach
ing one day at Whitehall, observed
King Charles Ii. and several of his
attendants asleep. STOPPING down,
he cried out to one of the delinquents,
MY lord, am sorry to interrupt you,
but if you snore so loud you will wake
the king" His majesty thereupon
awoke and, turning to his neighbor, re-
marked with his accustomed good ma
ture: This man must be made a bish-
op. Remind me on the next vacancy"
Latimer speaks of a woman who suf-
fered from insomnia, and who, all
soporifics having failed, was taken to
the church of st. Thomas of Acres,
when she fell at once into a refreshing
slumber.-London Mail.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30

A number of years ago when the
United States by it's congress was max
Ing a tariff bill one of the sections
enumerated what articles should be adj
mltted free of duty. Among the many
articles specified were ''all foreign fruit
plants etc, meaning plants imported
Tor transplanting, propagation or ex-
pertinent. The enrolling clerk in copy
ing the bill accidentally changed the
hyphen in the compound word fruit
plants to comma, making it read
all foreign fruits, plants" etc. AS a
result of this simple mistake for q
year, or until congress could remedy
the blunder, all the oranges, lemons.
bananas, grapes and other foreign
fruits We're admitted free of duty. This
little mistake, which any one would be
liable to make, yet could have avoided
by carefulness. cost the government
not less than 100000. \ pretty cost.
~ comma that
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30
The NnStneSs of Texas

This will help you to figure out just
how large Texas really is. If you
have star mathematician in your
family tell him the number of square
miles there are in the big state, then
tell him the population Of the globe;
then ask him if all the people in the
world were placed in Texas and its
soil divided out among them per capt.
ia how large would the mans farm be
who had Il wife and two children
When he gets through figuring, then
whisper in his ear, More than half an
acre"-Texarkana (Tex.) Courier.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30

Afulgurite is formed by d bolt of
liGhtning. y geologist gives this ex-
plunatiOn: when a bolt of lightning
strikes a bed Of sand it plunges down
ward into the sand for distance less
cor sI'eater. transforming simultane-
&ously into glass the silica in the mate
rial through which it passes. Thus by
its great heat it forms at once a glass
tube of precisely its own size. Now
and then such a tube is found and dug
UP. Fulgurites have been followed in
to the sand by excavations for nearly
thirty feet. They vary in interior di-
ameter from the size of a quill to three
inches or more, according to the bore
OF the FASH
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30
Sabbath Laws of EdinburRh.

The strenuous American must have
laws Of Edinburgh. One of the most
recent bylaws passed by the corpora
ton of that city prohibits running or
fast walking on the streets on the first
day Of the week. One exception only
is made. If in going to or coming from
church a citizens hat blows off he
may run in pursuit Of it, provided that
he runs reverently.-New York Trib-
unp
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30
English SuperstitiOns.

At Dawlish, in Deyonshire, England,
they ring the church bell during a
thunderstorm to scare away the light
ming. Lancashire agricultural labor
ers credit certain of their fellows with
power to cast good and evil spells. At
Dunstable men carry a live snail in a
pill box to ward off tOothache, eat
stewed earthworms as a cure for jaun-
dice and fried mouse for whooping
cough and cherish all the old supersti-
tons as to the dead which made Mer-
RE England sad.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30
Do Your Share.

A little thought will show you how
vastly your own happiness depends on
the way other people bear themselves
toward you. Turn the idea around and
remember that just so much are you
adding to the pleasure or the misery of
other peoples days. And this is the
half of the matter which you can con-
trol-GeOrge S. Merriam.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30
Re Ready For the Opportunity

People are apt to think that, though
their actual lives are poor and self
centered and such as they are half
ashamed of, If some great crisis
arose they would be able to gather up
their hating will and raise themselves
to its height. Yes, no doubt. Only
lifes sternest calls never come in any
such fashion Things don't arrange
themselves for US to gather up our fee
bic will and settle with our souls that
we will be heroes. They come hardly
and sharply, testing not what we have
resolved to be. but simply what we are.
We have a sort of feeling that it is
the opportunity that makes the man.
Not so. The opportunity only shows
him for what he is, and the spirit OF
prompt duty, of quick, instructive 10y
atty to right under whatever tempta-
ton may ever come. may be cultivated
and grow to the very capacity for her
oism even in life's lowliest place and
poorest work.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30
Gentle Hint to Restaurant Patrons

The necessity of tipping with a Law
ish hand is strongly enforced in a res
taurant near the station at Pompeii.
In prominent position is placed a
gaudily framed sketch of the interior
of the dining room, with two clients
taking their departure One of them,
a cowed looking individual, is strug-
Cling into his Overcoat, while two
walters stand near him, the one smiI-
ing derisiyely at the other, who dis
plays a tiny coin with a gesture Of
fierce contempt On the opposite side
of the room a guest is seen surrounded
by three walters one helping him with
his coat, another brushing his hat, the
third bowling obsequiously and holding
his walking stick.
The moral is obvious but allowance
is made for the proverbial obtuseness
of northern nations, and underneath
tie picture is inscribed in large letters,
''The Results of Benevolence."- London
Chronicle
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30

do you enjoy your wife's teas and
receptions?"
NO" answered Mr.. Cumrox Ito be
candid l do not. / can't help harbor-
Ing a suspicion that if l didn't happen
to be her husband Mrs. Cumrox
wouldn't consider me of sufficient So
cial consequence to be invited. Wash
ington Star.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30
Missed 1t,

Young Professor who has taken her
down to dinner)-By the way, Miss
Gaswell. have you ever seen the nebula
Of Andromedas Miss Gaswell-No; |
was abroad with papa and mamma
when that was played. But I've heard
that it drew crowded houSes.-Chicago
Tribune
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30
What the Matter Was.

"Did the inquest show what caused
his death?"
"Only too plainly. 1t seems that long
after midnight, when his vitality was
lowest, he ate some health food. His
csnstitution could not withstand the
shock, and today we mourn his loss"
Brooklyn Edfe
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30
The Wrong One.

Mrs. Cassidy-Yer drunk, amt We?
Where's yer hat? Cassidy-Whin OF
left Casey's Oh seen two hats on the
table. OF picked up wan o. thin an
put ii. on me head. Fax, OF mustn't "a
picked up the wan that wasn't there
Louisville Courier-J ournal.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30

Jigby-Hello, old man! | hear that
new baby up at your house POpley-
You don't say! Great pair of lungs,
Ell? Jigby-I say l hear that baby OF
yours Popley-Yes, yes. and you live
two blocks away. Wonderful, wonder
uI,-Philadelphia Press.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30

Old Friends your part very diff
cult TO play? Barnstormer-Well rath-
er. I'm living on one meal a day and
playing the role of man with the
gout-Detroit Free Press.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30

George nervously)-Td like ever so
much to marry you, Kitty. but l don't
know how to propose. Kitty promptly
and practically = THAT'S all right,
George. You've finished with me: now
60 to papa
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30

Landlady-The coffee, l am sorry to
say, is exhausted, Mr.. Smith Mr.
Smith-Ah, yes, poor thing, was ex-
pecting that. I've noticed that for some
time ii hasn't been strong.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30
Arms and the Man.

Winkle-Count Duello is a daring
swordsman. Twinkle-Yes: he ran
through a cool million without any
trouble
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30

Show your strength TO the world. but
beware how you betray your weak
ness, even to your dearest friend
Papyrus.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30

Cholly i can't live without Your
daughter! Mr. Cashbag-oh. yes. you
can. Work never killed ANYBODY vet.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30

What the arts are to the world OF
matter literature is to the world Of
mind
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30

4 lean compromise is better than q
far Iawsuit.-Gernan Proverb.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1905-01-30
A Gard.

We. the undersigned, do hereby agree to
refund the money on a 50-cent bottle OF
Greene's Warranted Syrup of Tar if it fails to
cure your cough or cold. We also guarantee
a 25-cent bottle to prove satisfactory OF
money refunded.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1905-10-05

81 minutes, maintaining throughout the
long journey a speed OF nearly sixty
nine miles an hour; another did equally
well by travelling TO Chelsea al the
average rate of 2018 yards q minute;
while one bird out OF every ten ex-
ceeded sixty miles an hour.
A very remarkable journey, which IL
illustrates the endurance and courage OF
a pigeon. was made some time ago by
a bird called Silver Queen, belonging
70 a member of the Honing Club. of
South PIttsburg. On August Z, 1900.
this bird. with several others, was lib
Grated from the roof Of the Brown
Palace Hotel, Denver. in the presence
Of a large gathering Of people interest
ed The pigeons, when released, made
several circles in the air; then all OF
them flew eastward. They were first
heard of four days later. when let
ter, dated August II, reached the Pitts
burg Club from Henry Homeyer, Of
Zickrick county. South Dakota, saying
that q carrier pigeon arrived at his
place that afternoon just after the last
Of several terrific hailstorms had clear
ed away Mr.. Homeyer fed and wa
tered the bird. which, afterward fdenti-
fed as Silver Queen, resumed its fight
as though quite refreshed
Three weeks more passed, and as no
further news OF any one of the five
birds was received they were given up
as lost But on September Mr.. Al
bert Greb, Of Pittsburg, the owner OF
Silver Queen, while in his loft early
in the morning was astonished by see
ing his bird perch upon the window
sill. She had thus accomplished a flight
of 100 miles within a period Of thirty
days. during which she passed through
many most severe storms of hail. rain
and wind in a magnifcently successful
effort to reach her home and mate.
Belgium was for some time the scene
of daily race between a pigeon and
a train which travels between Liege
and warenule. of which the Mouse,
q leading Belgium newspaper, gives the
following account: THE train starts at
three minutes to 10 a. m, and q crowd
gathers daily to see the pigeon go with
IL The bird wheels around the sta
ton while the passengers are taking
their seats. and as soon as the whistle
is blown and the journey begins it takes
mp position little behind the en-
CINE, and there it flies surrounded by
the moist. though warm, steam, which
It evidently enjoys
'It retains this position even while
the train is passing through tunnels,
and apparently is not fncommoded in
the least by the warm vapor When
the train reaches its destination the
bird flies swiftly along the railroad
track back to Liege, where it arrives
about half-past IL o'clock. This pig
con was born at the railway station
in Liege and consequently is familiar
with trains, smoke and steam"
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1905-10-05
SPEED OF THE
CARRIER PIGEON

So many wild statements are made
as to the speed OF a carrier pigeon
that it is interesting to learn how fast
it can actually travel under the most
favorable conditions. Recently between
20. 900 and 10000 birds were tossed in
competition in various parts Of En-
gland, and some thousands of these
feathered athletes raced to London
from Retford and Branston, journeys
OF 127 and rs miles, respectively. The
conditions were ideal, the weather was
beautifully clear and a fresh wind was
blowing to help the birds on their way;
and yet under such favorable circum-
stances few of the birds attained a
speed of q mile a minute, which in
these days Of swift locomotion is be-
ginning TO be considered comparatively
slow.
Better times were made not long ago
when 1000 pigeons were tossed at Tenn
plecombe TO race to London Assisted
by a southwest wind they Travelled so
rapidly that many Of them had reached
their cotes some time before their own
ers even thought Of looking for them.
One bird actually covered los miles in
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1905-10-05
HONOLULU WOMAN
TIE GUEST OF HON0R

Sweet peas in all the hues formed the
pleasing decoration at the elaborate
bridge party given on Wednesday by
Mrs. Herman Wheeler and Mrs w. B.
Lewis in honor OF Mrs. z. c. Sheldon.
who has recently come from Honolulu
to make Denver her home. Invited to
welcome Mrs Sheldon are Mrs. II. II.
Beatty, Mrs. c. N Wood, Mrs. 3. S.
Bates, Mrs ". Y. Elliott, Mrs. George
Funke, Mrs William Babcock, Mrs.
Harry Aldrich. Mrs y. c. Brooks, Mrs.
Herbert Shaw, Mrs Dunn, Mrs. Ger
trude Bucknum, Mrs Lehman, Miss
Blanche Clark, Mrs Bardwen, Mrs
Charles Hatfield, Miss Norma Wheeler,
Mrs. Tyler Smith, Mrs. VIII Mason.
Mrs z. b Field, Jr., Miss Martha
Field, Mrs Charles McPhee- Miss Nor
risee. Mrs. Fred Billings. Miss Evelyn
Larsh, Mrs. Hans Randolph. Miss
Florence Cleaveland, Miss Denver
Plat. Miss Lucy Todd, Miss Helen
Jeffrey, Mrs Hal Howard, Miss Name
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1905-10-05
SOME OLDTIME
BASEBALL STARS

What has become OF the men who q
few years ago electrified America with
their ball playing? is often asked.
Wen. here's what some Of them are
doing, says the washington Star.
John NJ Ward, once captain Of the
old New York Giants. is q prominent
New York lawyer and golfer. He has
handled and won some famous cases
at the bar.
Jack Glasscock. once q grand short
field player, is doing carpenter work
at Wheeling. ". Va.
Harry Stoyey, who stole 20 bases in
one season, is pacing a beat in uni
form and swinging club instead Of
a ball bat.
Clarence fCupid) Childs. who in 1892
tied Dan Brouthers as the leading
batsman of the National twelve-club
league. is having a hard time holding
down q berth in the New York State
League.
Dan Brouthers, by the way, manages
the Poughkeepsie club.
Billy Hamilton is manager Of the
Harrisburg outlaw league team
:, Buck Ewing is leading the simple
life in Cincinnati.
Tom Burns. once star fielder Of the
Brooklyn team, is in business in the
city OF churches
Sam Thompson. one Of the original
Big -Four, is in business in Detroit
Hugh Duffy is managing the Phil
lies and promises TO rank as high in
his role as he did when playing.
Jack Stivetts of Boston is driving a
! brewery wagon in a Pennsylvania oil
county
| Mike Herman. greatest OF old-time
sluggers, has q buffet in an Eastern
, city.
! Orator O'Reurke. a famous league
| catcher and fielder, is manager Of the
Bridgeport Conn, team and the NOV
| ing spirit of the organization.
| Van Haltren is running the Oakland,
Cal. club
Biddy McPhee is looking after his
mining interests and resides IN Cinein-
natl
Herman Long, once the greatest Of
shortstops. IS running the Des Moines
team.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1905-10-05
THE BIGGEST
EVER CAUGHT

The present smonth has been in many
respects one IF the most notable II
the fishing annals Of Catalina island,
Southern CALIFORNIA; most famous
fishing ground In one day the anglers
who have been participating in the
fishing activities Of the season brought
in the largest variety Of fish that
Avalon ever witnessed, the catch IL
clu6ing yellow-tail, barracuda, tuna
aIbicore, bonita, skipjacks, sun fish,
sword fish. black sea bass or jew fish,
three varieties Of sharks and a number
of varieties OF small food fish, such as
rock bass. uackerel, sardines and the
like
The most notable prize OF the month,
and one that broke q worlds record,
was q ground shark weighing SO
pounds. landed with rod and reel
through the combined efforts Of three
fishermen after over six hours Of hard
fighting. The shark took 2 ffty-pot1d
tuna that had been hooked q few min
utes before. and il took from 10 O'clock
in the morning until long after
O'Clock in the afternoon TO get the
fighting monster Up to the surface and
close enough TO the launch 10 be GATED
He was finally landed, flowed ashore
and for twenty-four hours was the
wonder Of the island According 70 al
thu fishing records obtainabIe the big
shark is the largest fish ever landed
with rod and real in the world The
tackle employed in his capture was the
ordinary tackle used IL tuna fishing
al Catalina
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1905-10-05
THE
BERNICE PAUAHI BISHOP
MUSEUM,
KAIIH OAHU.

Residents Of Hawaii Territory and
strangers visiting Honolulu are hereby
notified that the above named Museum
VIII be open 70 inspection on FRI
DAYS and SATURDAYS Of each and
every week Of the year, and also upon
ALL PUBLIC HOLIDAYS (Thanks-
giving and Christmas exceptedD, be-
tween the hours OF 10 O'Clock a. m
and o'clock p. N, from the 31st day
Of March to the 31st day Of October,
and from 10 O'Clock a. N 20 4:3o
O'Clock .. N from the 1st day OF
November to the 31st day of March
Of each year until further notice.
Tourists arriving In Honolulu by
through steamers on other than the
regular visitors days hereinbefore
designated Sundays and Thanksgiving
and Christmas excepted) and leaving
prior 10 the days set apart as regular
visitors DAYS NAV be admitted 70 the
Museum On SPECIAL PERMITS. IS
sued during Office hours from the gen
eral Office OF the trustees, No. "a Mer-
chant street. next door to the banking
house of Bishop & Co.
ADMISSION TO MUSEUM FEE.
Electric ears bound west On King
street pass the Museum every Ten
minutes during the DAY.
Honolulu. T. H, June Eth, 1So5-
PER ORDEk