The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-02-19
DRAWBACKS OF THE
LONG ENGAGEMENT
By Margaret E. Sanester.

the bottom of Toms postponed mar
riage. Mothers sometimes hate the idea
of parting with sons, and move heaven
and earth to keep them single. A son
who is fond of his mother, has, it may
be, not the manhood to break her bonds.
In proportion as he is a good son, he
breads hurting her feelings. If the
mother is very tactful and a little I'M
scrupulOus, she may manage her son
without his SuSpecting it, and in one
way or another preserve her ascendan-
cy over him, and keep that girI' wait
ing an indefinite time.
To tell the plain truth Agatha is in
very delicate and difficult position
She cannot take the initiative No girl
who respects herself can beg her lover
TO name the wedding day. This is his
prerOgatiVe, not hers. He should beg,
and she grant the favor of an early
marriage A man should be sure of his
own mind, and purse, before becoming
engaged. Once engaged, he should not
be the one to defer, and defer, and de-
fer the wedding day. If he Goes. the
young woman may sever the bond.
| This Is her privilege. But she cannot
plead for change of behavior on his
part. An unwilling bridegroom would
be a sha1nefully insulting mate for a
woman.
Should a man, as may happen, dis
cover too late that he has made a mis-
take, that his love is on the wane, tha1
instead of anticipation, foreboding IS
the mood and temper in which he re-
CARDS his coming marriage. his only
honorable course is to be candid with
the girl he has sought He would do
her a great wrong if he married her.
when mis- heart was full OF reluctance.
Few girls hesitate TO release a lover
who made this explanation, humiliat-
ing 70 him, and heartbrea king to the
nearer. but frank and honest and
therefore worthy The girl will recov-
er from her hcartache. The man steps
forth with dignity. There is no dignity
in remaining in a false position.
Generally speaking. engaged couples
should marry as soon as they can.
The income may be- a tiT-y one but
marVels can be wrought by good man
agement. and there is endless fun and
endless contentment. too, when young
people who love one another are in the
midst of their early, hopeful years, liv-
ing frugally and sharing the loaf and
cup. Self denials bind them as extrav-
aSant expenditure never can Agatha
means the world to Thomas She is at
his back He braves everything fo-
her, is better business man. a better
citizen on hec account. A married pair
are worth much more to the community
than several couples of engaged lovers.
dawdling and dreaming and wasting
their time in sentimental moonshine.
If it Is want of money that delays any
body's marriage, let him summon up
courage and go on. The money viii
come when 1T is deserved and most
wanted.
know we'll that this is not the advice
of prudence. nor would prudent people
indorse it without protest. Yet again
and again l have seen young people
marry on very small means, and go on.
steadily increasing their income until
they reached a condition of ease What
constitutes a competence can be deter
mined only by young people them
selves The essentials Of home are
really very few. and people have before
now kept house creditably in two or
three rooms, and have had no need to
be ashamed of the. result of their Joint
endeavors. The fatal mistake is to be-
gin on too large a scale A girl never
wishes this, if the man she loves is
frank with her. and tells her precisely
what he can afford and with perfect
openness asks her help in making ends
meet.
Copyright. 1905. by Joseph B. BowIes