New-York tribune., 1905-01-08
ODD NAMES OF TOWNS
They Mag Cause Veration to Re,s
dents When from Home.

VeXdUOnS Wnen away rrOIn nome These nan..-
have certain peculiar meanings IN every -
talk. and as soon as they are mentioned ~.
are apt TO prompt troublesome question, -
funmakers. For example the man from Aor.
KY. might have to explain TO a stranger p-
ing In New York how he could do business o.
were the only inhabitant. and how the s1..s
laws were enforced II the barkeeper. the sor.-
the policeman and the magistrate were :,
one and the same; and. in case there were uo.s
than one person in Alone. II all were baebso..
and old maids. Citizens Of Lonely. N. c s.s
Lonesome. KY, would encounter much the e..
sort Of questions. and all Of course would ansr.
be asked II they were once Jersey commuter,
II man hailed from Affinity. " c., he uor,,
naturally be supposed to be married. and n,
home life an unpunctuated chapter OF bliss. p.
would be expected to wear as wide srnila :.
the citizen Of Joy. or Happy. Tex. or Paradi.
Col, with a temper as sUbdued as the lnhaa
tants OF Purity. A1inn. What would hanna,
however, If the man from Affinity should me-,
a man from Peace, Ala. would irdeed \.
problematicaL They might. after the fassio,
of some Westerners boom the merits OF thss-
respective towns with such ardor that AZ Iay,
these representatives OF Peace and AfSpi,,
would come to blows They might at last IA
veIop as much disrelish for each other a. II.
citizen OF Cream. Wis. who should chance 10
take dinner with citizen OF Caviar " On
the other hand they might become as chumry
as the townsmen OF those three towns, IN N,
States Of Colorado. Oregon. and West Virginia.
which all bear the name OF Crook
Any one coming from Eye. " c.. could hardrv
expect to Join the New-York police force ana
find things congeniaL II he native ot
Lax. Ala, or Blind Bay La. on the contrarz.
tis duties as a metropolitan blueeoat might
prove congeniaI If he said he was rom sodor.
Ohio. he would most likely be told that hh
own town must need his services more. II be re-
Piled that it didn't he might be recommended
to try to get a position in Pluto, Mss
Near the Greene River in Kentucky. and sew
eraI miles south Of Lewiston. there Is a town
by the name Of Pig II has never been recorded
in any history OF the United States whether TIA
characteristics Of the people OF Pig are any
different from those OF the people OF Lamb II.
or Chickies. Penn This is certainly to be ~
gretted. 1t would certainly be interesting u
know if the worthy burghers OF Pig are any
more happy and contented than other human
beings. whether they have such lis as insomnia
nervous prostration or melancholia- whether
there is any sale in Pig for appetizers. and vhzs
the good people do on Fridays.
Should a woman from Big Foot. Tex. or An
tiquity, Ohio, advertise for husband. II Is san
to say she would not get as many answers
a woman from Beauty. W. Va The man WIS
hailed from jug. Ala. night have more difficulty
in being elected TO the White Ribbon Society
than his contemporary from Dry Town. Cal Ths
native OF Magic, Ala. would no doubt be weA
coined by certain Wall Street officers where
citizen from Fairplay, Wis, would ind the door
shut Should the woman from Alamode, No.
or Fashion, Ga, meet woman from Jaysvlla
Ohio. the two might get into such cOntro-
Versy that az the end they would both Do
believed to be natives OF LOOneyville. n. z.
from Quick Neb., would no doubt feel very
much at home in Philadelphia, and for much tas
same reasons the representative OF Fact, KAN
would find a cOngenial atmosphere In Boston
VegetarianS should go to Grass. S. D.
Any one might think that Ice, Ga, would be
come a more popular summer resort than Hen
Hole, Col A jury made up Of men half Of whom
were born in Japan, Mo-. and the other half n
Russia, N. Y. would be pretty sure TO disagree
At any rate they would not call in a man rom
Jingo, Tenn, for a peacemaker- Should the gin
from Leapyear. Tenn, become dissatisfied with
things at home there is little danger OF her set
from Langor. Mimi. think OF moving to jump
Ohio.
A man may travel from Dan 20 BeershebA
nowadays. and think ii a very short journey
There is a Dan in Kentucky and a Beersheos
over the line in Tennessee. Neither Is the I'D
| from London to Pekin fOng one IN the United
States Ohio contains both Pekin and q Lon
i don. and ii is not a long journey from Whisky
| ButteS, Mont, to Seven Devils. Idaho.