davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-06-10

vermifuge. But it gets there just the
same and the result of drinking It is
about the same as the result of drink
ing anything in France-it makes you
want to hug somebody.
At home when a man get full on
whisky, he wants to hug the man he
drinks with and weep on his collar,
and then hit him on the head with a
bottle; but here every kind Of drink
puts the drinker in condition to want
to hug. Dad says he never knew he
had a brain until he learned to drink
ahsinthe, but now he can close his eyes
and see things worse than any minee
pie nightmare, and when we go out
among people he never sees man at
all, but when a woman passes along,
dads eyes begin to take turns wink
ing at them and it is all I can do to
keep him from proposing marriage to
every woman he sees.
thought I would break him of this
woman foolishness, SO I told everybody
dad was a Mormon bishop, and had a
grand palace at Salt Lake City. and
owned millions of gold mines and tab
ernaeles and wanted to marry d thous-
and women and take them to Utah aud
place them at the head of homes of
their own, and he would just cali once
or twice a week and leave bags of gold
for his wives to spend. A newspaper
reporter, that could talk English, wrote
piece for paper about dad wanting
to marry a whole lot and he said life
in Utah was better than a Turkish har-
EN-. cause the wives of a Mormon bish-
op did not have to be locked up and
watched by unix, but could firt and
blow in money and go out to dances
and have just as much fun as though
they lived in Newport, and had got
divorces from millionaires, and he said
any woman who wanted to marry a
Mormon bishop could meet dad on the
buIlyvard near certain monument, on
a certain day.
was on to it, with the reporter, and
we hired carriage and went to the
bullyyard, just at the time the news
paper said and put big red badge on
dads breast, with the word bishop on
It, and dad had been drinking absinthe
and he thought the badge was a kind
of sign of nobility. Well, you'd adide
to see the bunch of women that were
there to meet dad What's the matter
here2. said dad, as he saw the crowd
of women. looking like they were
there in answer to an advertisement
for nurses. I told dad to stand up in
the carriage, like Dowie does in Chi
cage, and hold out his hands and say:
BLESS you, my children" and when
dad got. up to bless them. the reporter
and I got out Of the carriage, and the
reporter, which could talk French, said
for all the women who wanted TO be
Mormon wives to get into the carriage
with the bishop and be sealed for life.
Well, sir, you'd a thought it was a
remnant salei More than dozen got
into the carriage with dad, and about
400 couldn't get in, but when the scared
driver started up the horses, they all
followed the carriage, and then the
mounted police surrounded the whole
bunch and moved them of towards the
police station, and dad under the wag-
On load OF females. each one trying 10
get the nearest to him. 80 as to pc his
favorite wife.
It got noised around that a foreign
potent-ate mac been arrested With his
whole harens for conduct unbecomIns
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-06-10

white house, attached to which is q
spacious garden filled with flowers and
shade trees. 1t was Senator Hanna 5
custom to have his breakfast table set
on a veranda just off this garden. a
spot empowered with wisteria. honey
suclles and climbing roses President
Mckinley and number of Senator
Hanna's friends in the cabinet and n
the senate had standing Invitations to
come over TO his house an:l take break
fast. The senator had an CID eolored
cook in his employ who was a veritabls
queen Of the kitchen. She made corn
beef hash that became famous through
out official and diplomatic circles.
Nothing like this toothsome dish had
ever appeared on a Washington table.
Its fame spread far and wide. and Sen
ator Hanna never lacked for guests at
his breakfast table.
Two or three times d week Presi-
dent Mckinley would walk over to
Hanna's house, and in the braeing
spring air, amid the flowers, listening
to the music of the. birds and reveIfng
IN the celebrated hash, the late. presI-
dent would throw off the cares Of Office
and thoroughly enjoy himself, Presi.
dent Roosevelt also tasted this eeIe'
brated dish, and insisted on obtaining
the recipe from Senator Hanna, and
since then eornbeef hash. Ia Hanna.
has been a standard breakfast dish at
the white house, Mr., Roosevelt is a
hearty eater, and desires plain, sub
stantial food. In the spring Of the
year he wants fresh garden vegetables,
and1is very fond of the fresh Potomac
shad, which he has broi1ed with a little
of the rec. With the fish he eats a
salad of water eress, fresh picked
which he dresses himself with sprinls
ling CT white pepper, 3 touch OF salt
and some oil and vinegar. At breakfast
lie drinks a generous cup OF coffee
which the white house chef makes to
perfection.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-06-10


to . potent-ase and SO when We got
to the jail dad had to be rescued from
his wives, and they were. driven into a
side street by the police. and dad was
locked up to save MS life. Phe re-
porter and ! went TO the jail to get
him ont, but we had to buy a new suit
of clothes for him, as everything was
torn off him in the Mormon rush. Dad
was a sight when We found him in
jail. and ne thought his bones were
broken. and he wanted to know what
was the cause Of his sudden popularity
with the fair sex, and I told him it all
came from his looking SO eonfounded
distinguished and his flirting with
women He said he would swear he
never looked at one of those women in
tone OF voice that would deceive a
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-06-10

.e,,T NJ
IL not always sueeesslalls, snsn an
many ana fepaoIieah IssIslaeoIs passe 80,
~ Albany lase Miatsi y - 800 q
uabIe bliI IoF eIe gas LIS - liliilallS
men freeiy ooagne gas seoeA So eAe nlai-
ket On the Up taas DON the inasot ala
the governor Wooio s1sh elle o1'l.zl nc
mayor did; the governor dil no. altl
some OF inc STOCK sa11ipieis gu lAei-
| fingers plnehea.
rms year the Eepdel1eaas loiioN 60 uf'
their adFantage % 1aeIetIsssis e1EssiA4s
through an lhYestlsaeloh tAe seeeh
watering SINS OF the 5Fust a1a tt1e iaee
that most OF the ffanenises ahaer= Wnle !.
It works have expired. As tae trusts ].
capital Is about slA R1snss tae value q
rs Workss ana IS 5ne stoeA nas - Us
supported az apoat -eV. etlzae y Isaslsi
d1sqaletihs. Bae mere = Z eoas1ts. apls s
republican element eaae laEeiss she sas
I people. It may De put roughly taaL tas
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-06-10

public question of any kind arises that
does not interest Chandler, and on
which he does not have his say in
one form or another, and to which he
does not usually contribute illuminat-
Ing thoughts and good advice. On the
other hand, there is hardly a popular
subject which does not afford Chandler
a vehicle for his well known wit and
satire
The ex-senator has been having a
lot Of fun recently with candidates for
the presidential nomination in 1908.
He first sat down and wrote letter
to Vice President Fairbanks in which
he praised the 1atter's ability as a
statesman, expressed admiration for
his conservatism, predicted great popu-
larity for him as candidate, and
wound up by saying that he. Fair,
banks, was the ideal candidate for the
presidency in 1908. In minute
the effect that he had written similar
letter to Secretary Taft, Secretary
Shaw, General Cortelyou
and Senator Foraker Mr. Fairbanks
did not at first notice this postscript
and he sat down and wrote very ap
preciative reply to Mr.. Chandler, thank
ing him for the expressions Of conf
dence he had uttered, and saying that
there was no warrant for the public use
Of his name in connection with the
presidential nomination, but he was
very grateful to Mr.. Chandler for rs
latter's preferred support.
The waggish statesman did write
similar letters to all the other eandi
dates, but attached the qualifying post
script, and they all appreciated tbs
humor, as did Mr.. Fairbanks when his
attention was called to the little joker
Secretary Shaw cut the postscript Of
his letter and sent word to Chandler
he was going to use the latter in hi:
campaign, and exploit the New Hamp
shire man as the original Shaw man
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-06-10

small subscription in the inter-
esb of sport and patriotism. The earl
Crawford enters the Valhalla He
lie asthma good deal and gets re-
lief By cruising You might think todd
t0 70 I'd the damp sea to shake off asth-
ma bzt It works. il you sleep on deck.
There is no dust. The Nalhalla is a
beautiful yacht, stiff and storm loving.
The earl has SO sailors who have sailed
Eve years with him. Then there is the
. Sunbeam, e the most famous name an.
EngIish yacht can bear. Lord and Lady
ErasseF have always had a Sunbeam,
though it has not always been the same
boat; and Lady Brasseg has written tbs
Log Of the Sunbeam TO the glory Of
Yachting and the pleasure OF lovers Of
sea. Tie Sunbeam IS also an auxil-
she can get up coal breeze when
tlaa u IN comes doHn-77but= not during
this race.
hen the aas7st race for the Americas
Gun fss..iissTf5laee. 80 years age ofeshe Isle
light there vas every sort Of craft
! incIndIng tiny sIoops and one three
master schooner There IS three
master III this race. too, the America. u
OF this city. Now it has not generally
been supposed that multiplying masts
Increases speed. 4 sIoop is faster than
schooner Of her inches. What the ex-
ira rnasts do is to make setting sail
easier. An efght-masted schooner need
carry d crew Of only IA men to handle
o08 tons OF coal from Baltimore to
Boston There is much curiosity as to
] the performance Of the America. viii
her three masts advantage or handicap
herr She IS 4 huge craft, 18g feet long.
de not suppose that a sIoop of such di-
raensio1ls Is workable. Her sail would
have ID be half an inch thick and almost
beyond human power to stretch The
thistle Is another ereditabIe Amer
lean production She has been
beating about New York harbor
some days having lots offun. Ferry
hoat passengers from jersey and Staten
ana have been laying bets On thera
the week; and while such crowds
4iII not watch the start as SO out IN Al
aus. ar September 20 see 3 cup race,
Tah#t here IS going 70 be good sporting
interest bout
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-06-10

Sunday school teacher, and he felt as
though he was being misunderstood in
France. We told him the only way to
get out Of jail was to say he was a
crowned head from Oshkosh, travelling
ineog, and when he began to stand on
his dignity and demand that a mes
senger be sent for the president OF
France, to apologize for the treatment
he had received, the jaiIer and police
begged his pardon and we dressed him
up in his new clothes and got him out,
and we went to the EiffeI tower to get
some fresh air.
suppose you have seen pictures OF
the EiffeI tower, on the advertisements
of breakfast food in your grocery, but
you can form no idea of the height and
magnifcenee Of the tower by studying
advertisements. You may think that
the pictures you see Ct world events on
your cans of baked beans and maple
syrup and soap, give you the benefit Of
foreign travel, but it does not. You
have got to see the real thing or you
are not fit to even talk about what you
think you hayesee Yourememberthat
i Ferris wheel at the Chicago worlds
fair, and how We thought i vas tina
greatest thing ever made Of steel, so
| hfgh that it made us dizzy to look to
| the top Of it, and when We went up on
the wheel we thought we could sse the
world, from Alaska to South Africa
and We marveIed at the work of man
and prayed that we be permitted to get
! down of that wheel alive. and not be
| spilled down through the rarified Chi
eago atmosphere and fattened on the
I scraped up off the pavement with a
case knife. like a buekwheat cake that
sticks to the griddIa.
You remember. old man, how you
cried when CUR sentence to ride ID the
Ferris wheel expired. and the TALLER Of
the wheel opened the cell and let US
| out, and you said no one would ever
Eget you to ride again on anything that
you eouidn' jump out of if it baked, or
you got wheels in your head and
chunks of things came up to your Ad-
ans apple End ehoked you. Well, seross
my heart, if that Ferris wheel, that
looked so big TO us. would make main
spring for the Eiffel tower That tower
is higher than a kite, and when you
get near it and try to look up to the
top, you think it is. joke. and that
really 20 one actually goes up to the
top Of it. You see some flies up around
the top of it, and when the guide tells
you the flies crawling around there are
men and women, you think the guide
has been drinking.
But dad and and the guide paid our
money. got into an elevator and began
to go up. After the thing had been go
ing up awhile dad said he wouldn't go
up more than a mile or so at first, and
asked the man to let him off at the
3,o00-foot level, but the elevator man
said dad had got to take all the degrees
and dad said: Let her went z and
after an hour OF. SO We got to the top.
Gee! but thought dad would fall
dead right there, when he looked off
at Paris and the world beyond. The
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-06-10

wasp, singing this one and that, and
raising a eommotion generally. Mr..
Chandler Wearied sometimes Of the
dullness Of the senate, and he would
purposely start a turmoil, in order to
liyen things up. On a particularly dull
day, Chandler would nervously twist
about IN his chair, glance up at the
press gallery, and, if he noticed some
OF his newspaper friends there, would
give them a glance, as much as to say,
alook out for some fun"
Then the Senator would inject him
self into the debate, no matter what it
was, and he was Invariably able to stir
up the opposition and precipitate a
Fitriolic controversy. It did not matter
what subject was under discussion,
Chandler could always use it as an ex-
euse for saying something that would
stir up the democrats. When Senator
Ben" Tillman first came to the sen
ate be was Chambers particular
victim. Til1man did not under
stand Chandler, and looked upon
the latter as possessing all the
AdIIU8 HESS d41Q5 HdIIiSdnSllp lIdL Lite
southerners had been led to believe
characterized New EngIanders. 1t was
the rule, therefore, when Chandler
prodded the democrats that TilIman
would respond and get quite excited.
The South Carolinian would get red in
the face, and denounee various policies
that Chandler and nor1herners stood
for, and before the excitement was over
half a dozen senators would be mixed
up, and some pretty tart repartee would
be INDUCED.
After getting things moving along
to his satisfaction and having set a
number of his colleagues by the ears,
Chandler would quietly slip from the
chamber, ehuekingz over the row he
had preeipitated. He would meet his
newspaper friends, who would thank
him for breaking the monotony Of a
dull afternoon and creating a scene
in the senate chamber that made an
interesting news paragraph.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-06-10

'.Chambered Nautilus with Nodes
ka's signature That was his modest
conception Of a joke TO sign anotner's
name to verses Keats would have been
glad to write Modieskas Rosalind was
captivating. That with her never per
feet English accent she could SO imper-
sonate the heroines of the great Eng
Eish draHatist was proof enough Of the
feryor of her art.
The farm experiments in California of
N. Bozenta Chtapowski, her husband,
turned out badly. There they hoped to
found a kind of Brook Farm for Polish
exlIss. Sienkewicz, author OF Quo
Vadis,' worked there for a little time
| Just as PadereWski played for the
| Modjeskas when he was an unknown
lad and was by them encouraged to per-
/ severe. PaderewsH was to have played
his soul out at the benefit, and was sor-
row-smftten that his tour was inter-
rupted. They say that what wrecked
his nerves was a performance in Kan
/ sas City, when the piano was interrupted
by a chimney falling down just outside.
/ by a baby crying in the upper gallery,
! by a mother sparkling her boy near by,
and few other ontoward Interrupt
TONS
It is no secret that Modieska's consid-
/ cradle professional earnings have not
enriched her. One reason is the patrl-
| otism that won her the honor Of the
cars refusal to permit her to appear
professionally IN Russian Poland in
| 1902 That was magnificent, but it was
not business. One reason why she was
prescribed was that in 1898, at the Chi
cago fair, she made an impassioned
/ speech declaiming Peland's wrongs,
known to all the world one would think
I before the Women's International CON
ference
Nine. Januaschek was ten years
| Modjeska's predecessor. They were
/ very different Modieska is charm;
Janauschek was power. Who can for
get the elder woman, with her resonant
powerful voice, as Meg Merrilies? She
| was really the nearest we ever had as
| Charlotte Cushman's successor. For
| the last few years Janausehek had lived
in comparative poverty IN Brooklyn
! Once she had to sell her stage costumes
/ at auction. She was rather a familiar
! figure, and a pathetic one, at gatherings
I Of women.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-06-10

flies we had seen at the top before.
starting had changed to human beings.
all looking pale and scared, and the
human beings On the ground had
changed into flies ard bugs, for all you
could see OF a man On the ground was
his feet with q fatteaed plug hat some
way fastened on the ankles, and a
woman looked like a spoonful Of rasp-
berry Jam dropped on the pavement,
CT q splash of current jelly moving on
the ground in a mysterious way. I dc
not know as the EiffeI tower was in
tended 10 act SIS a Kelley cure. but Of
the 50 people who went up with us,
half Of them were so full their back
teeth were floating, including dad and
the guide, but when we got to the top
and they got a view OF the awful height
10 which We had come, it seeme1 as
though every man got sober at once,
and their tongues seemed TO cleaye to
the roof Of their mouths. All they could
do was to look of at the city and the
TieW in the distance, and choke mp,
and look sorry about something.
! couldn't help Thinking of what sort
Of 3 pulp q man EouId be # he fell or
the top 81 me ssHer and struck 8 fat
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-06-10

] - etc almost as much as in the
! anesflon whether Nan Patterson did Or
81 nat Kill Caesar Young. AL the
slarps agree that the kaiser has devised
contest OF real interest, free from
luuaraery and red tape. Free. too. from
sfe exclusive management OF tie New
DIX Yaeht club, which has to seme ex-
cent queeredn recent contests for the
j 3 IaeFiea'ss cup.
IS an ocean race. that lets out the
mig hunting racing machines. Moth
ing IS likely 70 cross the water that Is
NOT fairly ct to cross. The siy yachts
upon which interest has centered are
i cruisers, wholesome boats. The fact
IflaI most of them are auxiliaries Is sig
nlfIeant Of the rapid advance of the age
oI ma hInery. Any schooner N ay COM
pete AL that is required is that an
hillary shall leave her screw ashore.
slaa can Carry coal and make steam on
LIE voyage IL she Will; but the steam
% be USED only for setting sail; for
EEaaeaas, not propulsion. Without me-
laHIcal aid il would take crew OF per
naps go crack sailors to handle the enor-
mons sails of the racers Even then a
storm might be very dangerous, with q
ass Of canvas to be brought in.
inches make lighter labor. Compare
that with the eup-raeing craft Years
go i vas required that the challenger
Tor lae America 5 cup should come over
Under her own sail OF late both con-
tesfants have been mere shells, vast and
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-06-10
Copyright, 1905. by Joseph 5. BowEes1

PECK Bad Boy Etc.
Copyright, 1906. by Joseph B. Bowles.1
Paris, Franee.-Old Pardner in
Crime: / got your letter, telling me
about the political campaign that is
raging at home, and when | read it to
dad he wanted to go right out and fill
up on campaign whisky and yell for his
presidential candidate, but he couldn't
find any whisky, SO he has not tried to
carry any precincts of Paris for our
standard bearer.
There is something queer about the
liquor here. There is no regular cam
paign beverage At home you can Sc
lect a drink that is appropriate for any
stage of a campaign. When the nom
nations are first made you are not ex
cited and beer and cheese sandwiches
seem to fit the case. A little later,
when the orators begin TO come out
/ into the open and shake their hair, you
take cocktails and your eyes begin to
resemble those of a Gagged rat, and you
are ready to quarrel with an opponent.
The next stage in the campaign is the
plenty of it the campaign may be said
to be open. and you wear black eyes
and lose your teeth, and you
swear strange oaths and smell of
kerosene, and only sleep in the morn
ing Then election comes and if your
side wins you drink all kinds Of things
at once for week, shout hoarsely and
then go to the Kelley cure, but if your
party loses you stay home and take a
course of treatment for nervous pros
tration and say You will never mix up
in another campaign.
Here in France it is different. The
people have nervous prostration to
start on, start campaign on cham
payne, wind up on absinthe, and after
the votes are counted go to an insane
asylum. I do not know what first got
dad to drink absinthe and don't know
what it is, but it looks like soap suds
tastes like seed cookies and smells like
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-06-10

their other meals are partaken
of in the same manner. The
large. eommodious portfcs on
the south side of the white
house Is admirably adapted for these
open air meals Awnings protect the
table from the glare of the sun. but
the breezes blow across the portico
while the songs of the birds IN the
trees that shade the mansion and the
scent Of the flowers from the white
house lam add to the pleasure Of the
repast.
The president and Mrs Roosevelt Of
ten have number Of friends 20 break
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-06-10
Senator Chandler Kept Things Lively.

L u Sa1l there Is d
prospect that Mr..
Chandler m a =
again be senator
from New Hamp-
shire. He would be
welcomed back in
the senate, where
he was one of the
liveliest members
of that rather SOM
bre body. He was
roa5 1oo1 IIt
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-06-10

foreign market. For years past Amer
lean consglls abroad have written re-
ports and given advice upon this sub,
iect, and warned American shippers
to foreign ports that they must con-
form to the business methods OF
the countries where they expect
to sell their goods All this agi.
tation. however. has net made the
American shipper as wise as he should
be
In a recent report from United States
Consul McNalIy, in Belgium. some very
to increase American foreign trade.
He says that American manufacturers
contemplating an entrance into foreign
markets must show their products
possess the merit claimed for them,
and must meet the traditional trade
customs, especially in the all important
matter Of credit Buyers abroad de
sire to see the goods before paying for
them, and as this right is freely ac.
corded them by the manufacturers Of
other countries, they cannot understand
why American manufacturers do not
follow the same policy. IN many cities
Of Europe the retail dealer extends to
his customers a credit of six months
or a year, and manufacturers Of this
larger European countries sell goods on
any terms to suit the retail buyer.
The consul expresses the opinion that
when American manufacturers meet
those of other countries in open com
petition, both IN the quality Of The
goods and in the terms OF credit, the
markets viii be theirs.