The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-20
HUAGoR OF TIE DAY.


you've had long experience as a poll
ooh. yes. my son. I can remember when
there was harmony in the Democratic par
Curate's Wife (given to nerves)-Hoppitt,
would you mind seeing me as far as the
house? The lane is SO dark.
Cherry Clodhopper-Wen, I'd rather not,
mum. promised my young woman I'd
chuck that all up.-Judy-
Judge Qmpatiently interrupting a law
yer'S carefully selected citatiOns)-Can't
you take for granted that I understand an
ordinary point of laW2
Lawyer (coolly)-Your honor. that's the
mistake I made in the lower court, where
lost my case.-Sunshlne.
she-I shouldn't be surprised to hear Of
another engagement-John and Celia are
He-Yes. comrades in arms.-Yale Rec
ord.
'she told me in confidence that the way
he makes love is absurd
Yes; but the way he makes money
Farmer Blake cat New. York restaurant)
Wal, Miranda, here's spinach sixty
cents. wonder naow II that's a peck or
bushel-Life.
As to the secret Of success. it may be
said that nothing has ever been more ex-
tensively advertised.rPuck.
HoweII-Don't you wish you could live
your life over again?
Powell-Well, should say mott I've got
a 20 year endowment policy maturing next
month-Jud@e.
Il understand that your boy is getting
'.Yassuh.S answered Uncle Raspberry,
AN mebbe he's dom better'n dat I hon-
estly b'leve he's gittin' sense along VIII
it. "-Washin@ton Star
the best Colonial circles. They were Tor
les. you know.
The Colonial Dame-Yes? Then dare
say. my ancestors helped to keep them
movinE.-Puck.
Druggist-That fifty pounds of ice you
left me yesterday was a fraud. I put it
on the drug store scales and it weighed
twenty-one pounds, five scruoles and
Tenancy wan! There amt no scrupIes
Druggisf|so I found out.-cleveland
Leader
Bridegroom-well, that umbrella is gone
and I'll have to get another one. Wen
stop into Bigg. Store & Co s.
Bride-Horrors! no. Go to some little
shop on q side street
Dear mel Why2''
My darling, let's not spend our honey
moon waiting for change.'-New York
Weekly
What is a race problem, pa?"
How to get home from one-"-Judge.
1T must be awfully dull out here in
'sDulI nothin' I've been a turnin' tn
grindstone all day. by gum!'-Cleveiand
Leader.
Greene-It is a progressive whist club
that you belong TO. isn't it?
Gray-On the contrary, it is deteriorat-
ing all the time.-Boston Transcript.
Grandpa. do you have to be awful good
to get into heaven?"
Yes, my SON"
Well I'VE about made I'D my mind to
try for the BOBBY prize. Life.
tant part Of his forecast, suggested.
Well suggested they, as I paused
He should add: Subject TO change with
out notice Puck.
What time does this train arrive at
Swamp Center?" asked the travelling man.
My friend, was the answer, i n only
A conductor. I'm not a fortune teller
Washington Star.
The superintendent was giving the chill
dren little talk on True Fferoism.''
Boys he said, what would you call
young man who did his duty well ana
bravely. without 7inching expecting ne
great credit for it, and content to let oth4
ers win the applause of the multitude?'
"A baseball catcher shouted the boys.
Cleveland Leader.
s4
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