davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13
Her Idea of Necessities.

The young man was interviewing the
stern parent of the only girl i'll the
world. "Of course, SIR" he said, my
salary is not colossal, but 1 can give
her all the necessities of life and some
Of it's Injuries"
MY dear Mr.. Softly" replied the
stern parent, ''you have scarcely i'm
proved your time in her society if you
do not know that she considers all the
Injuries Of life far more necessary
than the necessities"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

relentless, cruel, insistent accumula-
ton Of money when you are already
buried in it? There seems to be only
one eXplanation-that Mr.. Rockefeller
is the victim Of money passion which
binds him to every other consideration
in life, which is stronger than his sense
OF justice, his humanity, his affections,
his joy in life, which is the one tyran-
nous, Unsuitable force Of his being.
Money mad, money mad! Sane in
every other way, but money mad"
was the late Senator Hanna's comment
on John D. Rockefeller. And the late
Senator Hanna could not be accused
Of holding money in high regard.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

In some portions of America /. has
been supposed that the national bird Of
Missouri is the mule. This is not so,
however. A newspaper from Centralia
prints the following ode" as proof
that the mule is not the greatest citi-
zen Of the State:
Long before Maud raked the hay the
Missouri hen began to lay, and before
the milkmafd had stirred a peg the
Missouri hen had laid an egg. The corn
must rustic, the flowers must spring. IL
they hold their own with the barn-yard
ring. If Maud is in need of a Sunday
gown she doesn't hustle the hay to
town, but goes to the store and buvs
her suit with basketful of fresh hen
fruit. If the milkmaid's beau makes a
Sunday call she doesn't feed him on
milk at all, but works up eggs in Gus
tard pie, and stuffs him on that and
chicken fry. And when the old man
robs nest and goes to town in his
speckled vest to cape and stare at the
circus rings or stand round talking of
crops and things, his poor wife stays
at home and scowls, but is saved from
want by those selfsame fowls. For
while her husband fingers there she
follows the cackling hen with care.
Then hail, all hail the Missouri hen!
Acclaim her, poet, with your pen!
Throw up your hat, emit howl for the
persevering useful fowl. Cotton may
be king, ween, but the cackling hen
Is Missouris queen.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

The somewhat startling information
comes from the West that the de-
creased population in many communi-
ties can be traced directly to land
grabbers. Securing large acreage,
these corporations and individuals are
holding it at prices SO high that young
men have been compelled to seek en-
ployment in the cities or emigrate to
Canada, where land is good and cheap.
This sort Of thing has been the curse
of the West. When 1t began there
was no indication that it would reach
that point where it could affect the
population. But the drain commenced
then has been steadily increasing, and
the natural increase in population has
been lost in the number OF emigrants
When boys grew to manhood and 10
longer cared to remain at home they
found that they were unable to buy
the lands taken up by the grabbers.
Canada and cities opened their arms
and there they went as their individ-
ual tastes dictated.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13
"MONEY-MAD," HANNA SAID.
Terse Size-Up of Oil Millionaire by
Late Ohio Senator.

Terse Size-Up of Oil Millionaire by
Late Ohio Senator.
Mr.. Rockefeller has not squandered
his income. He has applied it for thir-
ty-five years to accommodating not only
oil property, but real estate-railroad
stock, iron mines, copper mines, any
thing and everything which could be
bought cheap by temporary depressing
and made to yield rich by his able
management, writes Ida Tarbell in Nc
Clure's. For thirty-fve years he has
worked for privileges giving him adj
vantages over competitors; for thirty
five years he has patiently laid net
works around property he wanted, I'M
til he had it surely corralled and could
seize it; for thirty-fve years he has de-
preciated values when necessary to get
his prey. And to-day he still is busy.
In almost every great financial maneu-
yer in the country is felt his supple,
smooth hand, with it's grip of steel;
and, while lie directs that which is
big, nothing is too small for him to
grasp.
Why does he do it? What does he
want an income OF $25,0OO,000 and
more for? Not to spend. like some
old Venetian, il palaces and galleries
for none of the glories Of the fine old
world life are known to him. Not to
squander in riot SO far as the world
knows. he is poor III his pleasures. Not
to give aWay-his charities and be
quests are small compared to his
wealth. For what, then2 Why this
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13
Get Rich Quick in tho southwes

A railroad man running in and on
of one Of the recently doomed" home
stead sections on the Rock Island line
through the Texas Panhandle bough.
two lots, about three years ago, fol
$500. Inside Of II months a site was
wanted for a Presbyterian church an6
the lucky landholder disposed of his
plat for $4,000 This money he imme.
diately invested in neighboring lots,
which he later sold at just four times
what he paid for them. The man who
bought the lots last referred to sold
them the same day he bought them at
100 per cent profit and an opera house
is now being rapidly erected. Real
estate transactions take place rather
hurriedly sometimes in the rapidly
growing Southwest, and somebody
cleans up few hundred each time the
land changes owners.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

The Weather Bureau forecasters
must envy the saving vagueMess with
which the prophets Of an earlier day
protected themselves. Thus Nathaniel
Ames' Almanac for the year CT our
Lord 1851, published in Boston, has the
entry for July 6, Somewhere it rains,
but other Parts are dry and parched."
An August entry has a definiteness
which points to dog-day conditions.
For the 18th, 18th, 10Th the observa-
ton is, "The Consideration Of Utopian
Schemes are adjourned till Winter"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

You had sprinkled the lawn and
were putting up the hose when you
heard voices oh the porch, and in the
gathering darkness you recognized
daughter and that young fellow who
calls so often and seems to have SO
little horse sense. You had a desire
to call him a dude and throw him over
the barn. OF such is the jealousy of
a good many farmers. You didn't d1
it. You were even nice to him. Good
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13
Identifyin1fhe Sneakers.

'The lady in the purple waist is out
Of ORDER" announced the presiding Of
ficer at a recent woman's convention
THE lady i'll the gray foulard has the
floor"
Who says women are not parlia-
mentarians ?-Pittsburg Post
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

Last year, ending June 80, S6,002
natives Of the Emerald Isle left their
homes, the vast majority to make new
homes in Canada and the United
States. Since 1850 almost 100000
Irish people have left their native
land
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13
Of Course.

"The leadin' lady O. the troupe" re-
marked the Amosville hotel waiter, lis
pitchin' into the grub like a house
afre"
"Lawsy me"' exclaimed the cook.
'But then I suppose they live on SIGH
heightened stuff that common ordinary
yittles goes kind O. good fer change"
Detroit Tribune.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13
To Calm Waves by Commandment

Shells filed with oil, intended to
calm a stormy sea when fired 4nto it,
have been invented in France The eff
feet Of a film Of oil in reducing the
size Of waves is well known, but in
the case of a moving vessel it is diff
cult to reach those in front, among
which the ships progress will soon
bring it. At first ordinary explosive
shells containing oil were tried. but
these, besides being dangerous, did not
distribute the oil evenly. At present
wooden shells are used, which break
when they strike the water, allowing
the oil to run evenly over the surface.
For night use the shells have an illu-
minating attachment. The results are
said to be satisfactory. Success.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

Do prefer wdows that popular belief
general experience statistics combine that they do
according
matrmony
her inclination will unwten
venionaity and
is usually mod
certain prudery
themselves and prefer
But Is this policy characteristic
popular belef IS that is characteristic Of them
But ii subject
partialty it will
welded
sticks renuousy remembering acting
the old Once bitten, shy STILL
widows There
there
and there is the widow who is widow indeed
Some widows dowdy
be There
ghheaed Widows
whining witty winning enterprng lugubou HELPLESS
frivolous there
dangerous than all the others together.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

In the effort to revive the kissing
bug" the newspapers are but yielding
60 a natural tendency to fill the void
caused by the fading away Of one
Richmond Pearson Hobson.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

A London paper refers to "Dr. Osler,
late Of Chicago University" The for
eigners apparently share the American
impression that all freak notions find
birth in Dr.. Harper's school.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

One who claims to know says it
wrings Rockefeller's heart to lose
b0-cent golf ball. This is not surpris-
Ing. He could not be a real golfer if
ne didn't care when he got into the tall
grass.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13
Sold at all druggists, SOC per box.
A Hard Quest on.

Modern Maid wish some advice.
Old Lady-Certainly, my dear. Wha
is it?
Modern Maid-Shall marry a MAI
whose tastes are the opposite of mine
and quarrel with him? or shall I maFrg
a man whose tastes are the same a!
mine, and get tired of him?
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

Mr.. Rockefeller is said to be an ex-
pert writer of shorthand. All the
world has noticed the facility with
which he can take notes-of any de-
nomination.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

A Kansas Agriculturist has harvest
ed 10000 bushels Of wheat from his
400-acre farm. What is the matter
with Kansas?
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

The Methodists have adopted Kip
llng's "Recessionap as one Of their
hymns. 1t should be sung just before
the collection is taken up.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13
EASY METHODS.
Mrs. Matias of San Francisco Doesn't
Worry About Business.

A certain area i'll the north of San
Francisco, Cal, is known as the Latin
quarter, from the large number of Ital-
ians, Portuguese, and other people
from Southern Europe dwelling there
1t Is also the homef of many Mexicans.
that part Of the city is kept by Sla-
vonian named Matias, who is married
to Mexican woman. Being weary Of
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13
A FREE BOX
ia

Send this coupon with your name and adj
dress and druggists name who does not sell
it for a free box of Mull's Anti-Belch Waters
to
MULL'S GRAPE TONIC CO., Third Ave.
Rock Island, Ill.
Cive Full Addyess and Write P1aisFs
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

1t will not be likely to occur to the
public that these insurance investiga-
tons have really amounted to much
unless the premiums are reduced.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

Publicity has been tried and found
TO fail utterly as a cure for the mos
quito evil.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

And John D.
Rockefeller, he
Sex he hopes that's the last Of Miss
Ida L.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

The conjecture that Miss Lillian
Russell fractured her rib as an adver-
tisement may be dismissed as I'M
founded.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13
Helms Some.

"If a man is naturally bad education
won't make him any better
mo, but it VIII help him to keep out
Of jail. "-Cleyeland Leader.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

It's a matter for real wonder how
some women will wear $1.25 dress
In order to have $50 hat.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

The Emperor Of Japan eats TWEEN
ty-course dinner every day. He isn't
going to have an indemnity to raise.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

Money is so cheap that it is hardly
making living.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13
Sarcastic Geraldine,

Gerald-If you refuse me, l shall
put bullet in my brain.
Geraliine-A whole bullet?
Gerald-Of course.
Geraldine see: you don't intend to
have it go way in.-Judge.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13
The Great American g,erils.

you Americans face serious perils
by your carelessness about eating"
"Yes," answered the man who was
figuring OH his meat bill, u believe the
two principal dangers are indigestion
and bankruptcy. Washington S.ar.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

Some married men wonder what
the men in peonage have to kick
against.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13
Danger OF "First Thoughts"

Miss Verarich (musingly)-I wonder
why it is that artists are always poor?
Suitor (awkwardly)- presume that
most Of them marry for beauty.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

A man knows he can't put his nand
into the ice water, but he will pour
ice water into his stomach.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

Strange that Cassie Chadwick never
got a line on that Equitable reserve
fund?
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

Piso's Cure for Consumption Away.
gives immediate relief in al throat trou
oles.-F. e. Bierman, Leipsic, Ohio, Aug
31.19Of.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

But few widows are half as gay and
giddy as they are supposed to be.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

Many who formerly smoked Zoe cigar
now smoke Lewis Single Binder
straight &c. Lewis Factory, Peoria, Il
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

UDr David Keanedy's Favorite Remedy gave
prompt and complete relief from dyspepsia and live
Arrangement" B. T. Irowbridge. Harlem +. 4. N.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

A projecting upper lip shows malig
nifty and avarice.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

Careless application of tie whip h;
blinded many horses.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-13

Mrs. Winslow's SOOTHING SYRUP for Chiidrs
teething; softens the gums reduces inhammstion,l
Lays pain, cures wind colo. % cents bottla
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-12-24
RALPH ROSE TURNS HOBO
Giant Athlete Steals Ride OH Freight
on Way to Visit Daughter of
Mexican Fruit Grower.

Aun Arbor, Mich, Dec. 2S.-Nfichi-
CAMS track men have been talking all
week about the experience-,he latest
experience-undergon by their old
tealnmate, I. Ralph Rose of Heads
burg, cal. ex-Weight man for the VOL
Ferlnes. There was much WiHkiug and
rolling Of tongues iii cheeks when the
story came that Rose said he was just
out on a sociological jaunt in the in
ferestS of a contemplated magazine ar
Icle when caught by NewtOn's sheriff
The latest story around the Michigan
campus is said 20 be based on a letter
received by prominent track athlete.
who used 10 chum with Rose. The tale
S that Rose was on his way To Las
Negas 10 see Miss Dolores Zabiia.
daughter OF a Mexican fruit grower.
wnel causht by the sheriff II is re-
ported that the giant met Miss Zablia
at 81. Louis when she was Il spectator
at the Olympian games in which the
big. shot putter participated. She is
said 10 have invited Ralph 10 visit her.
Roses father refused him the where
Wlthai for travelling expenses, so the
story goes, SO Ralph made use of the
hobo route. a mode of travelling that
many young fellows learn just for the
FUN OF IL when riding between Ann Ar
Dor and Ypsilant. His downfall fol-
lowed.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-12-24
CRIPPLES NOT WANTED
King Kelly Of Princeton Springs Sur
prise on Yale and Wins His
Game.

Eddie Holt, the football coach
who is assisting Phil King at Wiscon-
sin, tells the following story in con-
nection with king Kelly, who was.
perhaps, one OF the greatest half backs
the game ever knew. The story eN-
plains in a great measure Kelly's Won
derful playing Tor Princeton against
Yale. Says Holt;
Kelly matriculated at Yale before
he entered Princeton. His first day in
New Haven he went 70 the gym in
tending To try for the football team.
While dressing, one of the coaches no.
ficed that One-half of kelly's right foot
was missing.
" What do you think you're going to
do asked the coach of the fresh
man.
'''Going 20 try for the team. re-
sponded Kelly.
" You'd better not put in the coach
nfiiciouSly, we don't want any CrippleS
trying for the team
Kelly was sensitive concerning his
injury, and the next day left Yale and
entered the New Jersey school. At
Princeton he was quickly recognized
as a find and easily made the team
his first year. At the next annual Yale
Princeton game victory was the decid-
ing factor and brought victory 10 old
Nassau. The Yale men simply could
uot stop him. Throughout the game,
as he was tearing OFF yards. the sons
IF Eli were forced 10 listen TO this
from the king
Don't want Cripples on your team,
Ell; stop this cripple, If you can %
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-12-24
SALT LAKE BOWERS DOING SOME
BOOSTING OF THEIR OWN FOR ZION

off for practice ana a chance at the
salt Lake prizes on the way east The
opportunity OF attending two tourney >
ia place on one, and practically an the
same outlay. IN my opinion VIII help the
attendance at both eastern and western
gatherings.
portland Telegram)
Salt Lake is now assured Of getting
the first big meeting of the Western
BOWERS, as san Francisco has given up
the fight
president of the Western Bowling CON
gress writes that the Commercial club,
and, IA fact. all the leading business
organizations. have endorsed the action
of the Salt Lake boWlers in securing the
big tournament and viii do all in their
power to make the first meeting of the
congress a big success.
1t is estimated that the prize lists will
amount 10 at least $3.50, which will be
distributed among the winnings clubs and
ana individuals. Salt Lake will make
a donation OF from 500 10 81 900, and the
oregon Railway q Navigation company
has ALREADY Offered cheap rates.
Spokane Chr0nicle.)
The date for the holding of the first
tournament under the regularly organized
Western Bowling congress has been pret-
~ definitely settled. and tho big gath
ering OF bowlers at Salt Lake will be-
elh WORKING tSr the tirst western cham
pionshiD on March 2. Wednesday.
secretary a. l.. jenkins has sent out
the votes TO the members Of the execu-
tive committee. and 40 10 date March :.
has d big lead. with barely little chance
OF any other day getting the decision.
The only other date mentioned up 70
date is March l6 50 there i lot a verv
wide range.
Il is hoped 20 pet fwo teams from
Spokane 10 take IN the tournament. and
one Is assured. The meeting Is made
The date set for the tournament viii
enable The western team - affend the
Salt Lake congress end. then 60 on to
81. Louis 20 attena he big meeting Of
the American Bowling congress
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-12-24

While every body in Salt Lake is be-
coming afflicted with the boosting habit
Salt Lakes tenpin artists are doing u
little boosting Of their own for this
city which viii 20 & long ways toward
letting the outside world know this place
is still on the map. The bowlers of this
town have practically won the fight Tor
the Western Bowling congress, which
means that hundreds Of the crack bowl
ers OF the west viii eongregate in TINS
city during the month OF March. II also
means that during the tournament re-
ports Of Cd viii be published all over
the country, bringing to the minds OF
thousands that, among other things. this
city is among the leaders IN bowling;
The following clippings show that the
work % advertising the city has already
Denver News.)
A. IT. SLahi Denver member OF the
executive board OF the Western Bowl
ing congress. has received word that a
meeting OF that board win be held ia
sail Lake city probably during the first
fortnight OF the new Year. for the pur-
pose Of selecting a city Ia which 10 hold
the first annual tournament OF the new
organization. una Tor the selection OF a
definiie date for the affair
4 believe that we can secure half a
dozen Colorado teams to attend tile salt
Lake tourney, provided u Is held Just
Stahl yesterday The GaTnitas and
Democratic club teams are certain 10
60 The Brunswick Colts and the Paul
sOns are the other Denver teams which
arr expected to ke the drip
y have 1ust returned from Colorado
Springs ard 1 believe the bowlers OF
that cLy VIII re represented There is
9A eVeu chance OF PubciO sending q
iiVo-man team. Half q dozen Colorado
teams would be an excellent showing Tor
THIS St8le,
"Bg holding tie Western congress a
week o. tlye gefore the American tour
iley at LOUISVILLE, al the Pacific coast
leaIns cpiud readily be induced IN stop
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-12-24
VOTE so FAR
FAV0RS ZION
Secretary Jenkins Says Salt Lake
Will Land Tourney.
ENCOUNTER NO OPPOSITION
LOCAL soWLERs WILL At ONCE
BEGIN PREPARATIONS.

That salt Lake viii capture the an
nual bowling tournament os the West
crn Bowling congress is now practical
ly assured. The bowlers here have
felt they would secure this big event
in the western bowling world for some
time, and n letter received by Vice
President w. S. Zehring last evening
from Secretary 4. L. Jenkins of Se-
attle assures Mr.. Zehvng that the
congress Will come 10 Salt Lake. Here
Is his letter:
Everything indicates now that you
win get the meeting of. the congress
IN March. President Martin of san
Francisco wires me that they favor
salt Lake. Los Angeles expressed the
same preference. and seattle, spokane
md Butte win be i'm line. + am not
SO sure Of Portland yet. but believe
1hey VIII vote With the majority. 1
received a letter from Mr.. Stahl Of
Denver IN which he suggested q meet
ing of the executive committee in Salt
Lake TO arrange for the tournament.
This would indicate that Denver also
taVors salt Lake. l think il would be
safe, therefore, for you To 20 right
along and arrange Tor the tournament.
! expect to have the vote all i'm by
Dec. %, and will give you final no.
Jice at once. think the most favor
able time would be Wednesday, March
TN"
Mr.. Zehring said this was good
enough for him. and that the bowlers
would at once get ready 20 take care
OF the tournament. \ committee on
arrangements has been selected al
ready and viii get busy right after
Christmas.