The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-27
HUMOR OF THE Day

HUMOR OF THE DAY
What is the foot-andtmouth diseasg smenx
a certain class of public men, VINO nav. nave a q
bad mouth and foy eyeby r. tls NR sRey tme Ds you
can ask a harder one.''-Boston Trans
criQt.
Mrs Rrovn-I must be going back to the
city at once. I've had three letters from
my husband in two days.
just how you feel. Two would be suspi-
ciousiy atfentive-but threei really am
prehensibie.-Town I and Country.
why don't you go to work?" said a
charitable woman to a tramp, before Wnom
she had placed nicely cooked meal =
y would" replied the vagrant' IF
what sort of tools do you want?" ask .
"A knife and fork" said the tramp
Tit-Bits.
"she told him she must not see him any
what did he dor
turned out the ight.'-New York Her
aid.
Yeast-Do you believe retiring early
makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise?
had always retired early there are certain
things I'd never got wise to.-Yonkers
Statesman.
while man is imbibing the snstdieus
cocktail the world looks rosy
But it doesn't look rosy the nezt MOI n
ing"
QuiverfuI-Does your baby say any
Newpop-Oh. yes-he pronounces several
fcat ouiverfuiNW are they?
Newpop-Don't know-never heard any
of 'em before-Cleveland Leader.
Hell saved $40 last month by giving up
smoking. Now, what would you like me
to give up next?
she--The twenty dollars. dear-Brown-
First Countryman-You amt got none Of
the same city hoarders you had last sum
Second conference.-the, an didn't ex-
pect any of 'em, either.-Pittsburg Dis
patch.
Your position is one which must often
yes" answered the magistrate "it is
sometimes very difficult to properly disci-
Rurtns Rurd e9Rd fRer Te ee r9n sa
What would your father do if We
Just what wished to speak to you
about dear; he says he viii give US what
taer, the ,%edding din would o cost 2 to start house
Enpeck-If had my way
Dyer-Your wife wouldn't have hers,
suppose.-Judse. II
He'll never reach the top in his profess
why. he believes he's there now"
That's the very reason that he'll never
get there. e.''-Philadelphi Ledger.
"It may be pure ma=inatlon," remark
Seems se to ms that can nedI9pne aIWpags es
fair undercurrent of GOODNESS between the
bridegrooms' mother and the brides
Many are ambitious to do great things
for which they have ability. but are
not inclined to do the little things of which
alone they are capable.-Boston Trans
cript.
Mrs. Mimbleson has such a fetchin
way, don't you think?"
Yes, she was a waitress in a reStaur-
ant before he married her.''-Chicago Rec
ord Herald.
Timkins-So that mining enterprise Of
yours proved a failure, eh?
Simkins-Yes; a total failure.
was fortune in It.
Simkins-Weil. mines in it.-Chicago
News.
you say you think the new boarder is
In love with you? Has he made any ad-
fatSer; Sgs he sagS he NIL Ps z09p as his
New Boarder-Look here! Why can't
have a full cup of tea?
Waiter Girl-That was full cup when
I took it outer the kitchen but ye see
this here teas weak it jest lays down
in the bottom of the cup.-PhiladeIrhi
Public Ledger.
a.. Nordy-When I was a kid and had a
dime I'd buy yellowback and read
ABOUT Sawtooth Tim and "Deadwood
Butts-I spose you have different tastes
Nordy-Not at all. Now buy a 1O-cent
magazine and read about STANDARD oil
Jack and Copper Trust Tom. Pitts
burg Post.