The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-19

To hear you curse your luckless star
He is the very prince of graft!
i HUMOR or THE Day
Shea female suffrage advocate says
women should get mems wages.
He.A friend Of mine I'M Mno u.s. Is naEE'e0
Waterman Ito young woman who. has
fallen into the water)-Quick. Miss! SHOVE
this ERE life belt round your waist
Young Lady Gin panied tone OF Totcel-
Oh, haven't you several sizes sTnalierE-
Ally Sloper's.
Grayce-Maude claims that she never
GiadysWNo; She hasn't the time. Too
busy talking about herseh.-LouasYille
Courier-JoGrnal.
Little boy said the teacher of the
class. do you intend to come TO sunday
Il guesso, ma am" answered the urchiu
with the cropped head and the soiled face.
in it sides de pictur' cards and de pic
nic?'-Chieago Tribune.
Boyce-A life saving station has just
been installed at that seaside resort.
Joyce-You don't mean it, 1 thought 1t
was temperance town.-Pittsburg Tele-
graph.
IT understand Binkshap cleans up
yes, collars He runs a laundry
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Blinkins-How can I make my chimney
stop smoking?
gave me this morning Leader.
Titewodd-Money talks, my boy
Woodby|I should thinks yours would
squeal, the way you pinch it.-Cleveland
Leader.
enough to be hated by about So p: c. OF
change.
Mrs; Nordy-so you're not going away
Fraid he'll be lonesome. Ell?
Mrs. Butts-No; on the contrary. I'm
afraid he won't be.-Exchange.
Weren't you awfully embarrassed when
you met your husbands first wife at the
Il don't know why 1 should have been.
She was wearing q hat that I'm positive
cage Record-Herald.
''Oh!'' cried Mrs. Nagget during their
quarrel. you may sneer at us women and
gion as a cloak, so therei''
Certainly not" replied Mr.. Nagget, ''re-
delphia Press.
isn't Miss Blossom cool dresser?''
st suppose she inherits it You know her
father used to cut up cattle in a stock
yards refrigerating plant."-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Hicks-.Of course every married woman
believes that the proper age for matrimo-
ny is the age at which she married.
Wicks-Unless she happens to be a Wild
ow and then she nastens to declare that
she was entirely too young when she mar
ried the first time.-Philadeiphia Stand
ard.
What a, supremacy satisfied look Mrs.
yes She has just succeeded in getting
her husband paired of with a homely old
lady who won't let him get away from
her this evening. "-Washington Star.
my dear" said young Mr.. Marage.
what is this dessert, anyway?'
IT'S called surprise pudding" replied
the dear young thing; II tried to make
Just made d nice wine sauce for it and
turned it into dessert. philadelphia
Press.
Courage" cried the gallant rescuer, as
he drew near the drowning woman. Give
''T7his is so sud-" guraled the maiden.
and sank for the last time.-Chicago Tri-
bune.
James-Truly, dearest, this is the first
time that 1 have ever asked a woman to
Ethel~so I should have imagined.
judge.
so let that settle it," Mrs Henpeck
concluded, "a word to the wise is suffi-
cient."
to the average married man 4 word in
edgewise is sufficient. "-Philadelphia
Press.
spa what's tip?"
"A tip. my son. is a small sum of mon
ey WhiG h you gva not bsi you're f6
something you didn't ask him to do."-
Life.
EtheI-Do you think that Mr.. Gotrox is
quite catch? I always thought differ
Maud know; but he has such rec
ord for paying alimony--Judge-
lis your son getting on nicely in coll
7 don't know" answered Mr.. Thoreau
Bredd. He stands SO well in his studies
that am afraid he is neglecting his ath-
letics." ashin2ton Star.
my proudest boast" said the lecturer.
who expected his statement to be greeted
with cheers, lis that was one of the men
behind the guns.
in the gallery.-Philade1phi Press.
Poet-I'm sure don't know what to do
with this poem. The editors say it's utter
slusl and even my friends pronounce it
Friend - Well, I'll tell you-why don't
you have it set to nusic?-Cleveland
Leader.
What a beautiful new public buiIdingr'
exclaimed the visitor. ''And it's almost
completed, isn't it?"
NO; replied the citizen. ..It looks like
it is completed, but they haven't exceeded
the appropriation yet."-Indianapolis
Star.
Pardon me-" said the clubman with the
bald spot on the back of his head. but
for stakes when we sit down in a quiet
game of cards? ?"
That's my business, not yours!" re-
torted the clubman with the watery eye
1T know it is. why don't you quit 1t and