The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1905-05-13
Bv IOHN KE,NDRICK BANGS

"Oh, 1 implore you to let me CO.,
cried the fugitive.
I've told you once,'' returned the
Cerberus shortly, that if you are quail
flied to leave I'll open the gate-not
otherwise"
What do I have to have to quail
ify," demanded the fugitive.
Nothing" said the Cerberus, gaz-
ing at him grimly out of mis- many
eyes.
well, I've got it, groaned the flu
gitive, bursting into tears. when
came into Trustland I had $4,000 in
cash, and the Iron Pig got it from me.
See!" he added, turning his pockets
inside out. mot a cent left
Good day to you,' said the Cerberus,
opening the gate and ushering the flu
gitive out. you doubtless think you're
in hard luck, Mr.. Man, but it might
have been worse" he called after the
poor fellow as he fled grooming down
the outside road.
Il don't see how it could nave been
worse" said Jimmieboy, as the Ger
berus locked the gate again. Hes alb
solutely busted, amt he?"
Perfectly simple" observed the Ger.
berus. He only lost $4,000. Suppose
he'd $4,000 when he came in? He'd
have been $1,000 worse off than he is
now, and so on up. Then, he didn't
lose more than he had, which would
nave been indefinitely worse. I've
known men to come in here with a
million and go out not only without
that, but owing another one, and
sometimes that means Jail. You want
to look at this thing philosophically.
There's another little poem Of the Lau-
reates about that sort of thing that
you ought to keep constantly in mind,
young man. 1t runs like this:
When ever 1 have break an arm, and
feel a tri1e blue,
1t always cheers me up to think
might have broken two.
And if, perchance, I've fractured both,
and feel I've drained the dregs,
1t comforts me to think I've not like
wise two splintered legs.
And if it chance both legs and arms
are busted, in my bed
1 lie most cheefully and smile to think
I've saved my head.
Or if my head hath also gone into the
general wreck,
1t pleases me so mucn to think II
might have been my neck.
And when with legs and head and arms
my neck is snapped likewise,
I really roar with glee to think it can
not happen twice.
I'm other words" said Cerberus, iii
don't make any difference what hap
pens there's always happiness in the
thought that it might be worse. If q
man robs you of $3O,0OO,O0O, just think
how mucn worse you'd feel if you'd
robbed him of 100000. Understand
Yep" said Jimmieboy. Il think
do"
WELL" observed the Cerberus, I'll
you keep that idea in mind all the way
through Trustland-the idea that il
might be worse, and that if there's
any robbing done you won't be the
guilty party-you won't have any
trouble, and when you come out at the
other end you'll feel certain that the
things in here aren't as bad as they
might be-"
| Jimmieboy promptly made a note Of
the Cerberus's wise remarks, and ther
turned mis- attention to the orchard.
| 1T is very beautiful, isn't it," he
said. Those apples up there-are they
real?"
Eighteen karat" said the Cerberus
You don't find many karats On your
apple trees, 1 reckon" he added proud.
| ly.
! and are they good to eat?" asked
Jimmieboy.
! flush, boy, what a question: re-
| torted the Cerberus. Good to eat
! No. What's the use of eating 'em'
When you eat the kind of apples thai
you are used to, they are done for, gone
forever. Fruit that you can eat is al
ways perishable, but these gold oran-
ges and radium pears we grow in here
last forever.
| And the leaves" said Jimmie
boy. They look like greenbacks.'
| They are greenbacks," observed the
| Cerberus. so of course they look like
| EN-"
Mercy cried Jimmieboy. "And
how is it you don't gather them in ano
spend them?"