davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Opelousas courier., 1905-11-11
Who the Joke was on.

Harpers' Weekly tells of u Baltimore
physician who boarded a crowded car
in Charles Street. A woman was stand
ing and a big German was sprawiing
over twice the seat area that was nec-
cessary for him. Indignantly the ply
stefan said to him:
"See here! Why don't you move a
little 40 that this tired woman may
have n seat ~
For a moment the German looked
.iazed. Then q broad smile spread over
his countenance az he answered:
"Say, dots q joke on you, all right!
Dots my wife!n
The Opelousas courier., 1905-11-11
Herb w. Edwards Injured.

Herb w. Edwards OF Des Moines,
Iowa, got a fall on an icy walk last WIN
ter, spraining his wrist and bruising his
knees. s'The next day. he says. .'they
we're 80 sore and stiff | was afraid /
would have to stay in bed. but / rubbed
them we'll with Chamberlain's Pain
Balm aud after a few applications all
had disappeared. / feel that
this bottle OF Pain Balm saved me sew
efal days time, to say nothing of the
suffering This liniment is for sale by
all druggists aud dealers of patent
medicines.
The Opelousas courier., 1905-11-11

Golfers Weekly is leading the fight
against the patent medicine conspiracy,
and the manufacturers of the various
n0strums are queaking in their boots.
liz Peruna and its various additions,
now being sold as medicine are put out
of the way, there will be fewer DRINKS
in prohibition quarters.
The Opelousas courier., 1905-11-11
II Thank The Lordis

cried Hannah Plant. of Little Rock.
Ark, "for the relief / got from Buck
lens Arnica Salve. Ft cured MY fear
ful running sores which nothing else
would heal, and from which | had enf-
fered for fiva years. 1t is a. marvellous
healer for cuts, burns and wounds.
Guaranteed mt all druggiste: 2255c.
The Opelousas courier., 1905-11-11

There. are two things the people of
the country want very badly to know.
What the president said to the pilot of
the Magnolia aud what he remarked to
the fishes when leaning over the rail
of the West Virginia during the storm.
Shreveport Journal.
The Opelousas courier., 1905-11-11

"Uncle Sam is the richest MAJ 10 the
world shouts the Sioux City Journal.
Quite correct, and it is really wonder
full, too, considering how his purse ia
being constantly robbed by a gang of
political hooters who pose as patriots
aud defenders of the nation honor.p-
ComunOner,
The Opelousas courier., 1905-11-11

Cham berlain's Collie, Cholera and
Dierrh0ea Remedy. This is the most
successful medicine in the world for
bowel complaints, and is the only reme-i
dy that will cure chronic diarrlloea.
Every bottle 10 warranted. Sold by all
drnRgists and dealers OF patent medi-
CineH,
The Opelousas courier., 1905-11-11
LaWyers Who have hriefa -

Lawyers who have briefs to print are
respectfully reminded that the COURIER
Printing Office is thoroughly equipped
Tor tho prompt execution of that kind
OF work. and guarantees satisfaction
both 90 To quality and price.
The Opelousas courier., 1905-11-11

The esteemed Crowley Signal refers
to Captain Lowney as the father of the
dam project. Not the father Of Willie
B. and g. B. Dam and the other mem
bers of the whole Dam family but
the Mermentau dam.-Shreveport Jour
nal.
The Opelousas courier., 1905-11-11

Job work of all kind turned outatthis
office on short notice. Get our prices
before placing yonr order. We will
save yon money and guarantee satisfac-
ton.
The Opelousas courier., 1905-11-11

IL ia a mighty mean man who l,e-
grudges Mr.. Thomas w. Lawson the
nice little vindication he is now wear
ing.-Commoner.
The Opelousas courier., 1905-11-11

DR.. Kendall's treatise on the horse
o be had at THE Office FOR as cents.
The Opelousas courier., 1905-11-11

Safety deposit boxes 8 rental the
4andry State Bank.
The Opelousas courier., 1905-11-11

A.G. Skiies for Lumber, ShinglesA
Lime. Sand and Cement.
The Opelousas courier., 1905-11-11

We want yOnr advertisement. and
will be glad to do your job printing.
The Opelousas courier., 1905-11-11
FOR SALE Or EXCHANGE RO n
COUNTRY PROpERTv

Former residence OF A. C. Ekiles, situated in
the southwestern part OF town. Large. com
Portable dwelling kitchen, stable, and all nee
essary 0nthOuses. all in irst-class order.
Apply 20 SkILES LUMBER YARD,
leg. I,4sV4. Opelousas.
The Opelousas courier., 1905-11-11

Send One Dollar ts1.OO} to j. W. Jackson,
Op%el0usas, La, to learn O Pile Remedy, dis.
does not grow in your neighborhood, it will be
sent 10 you. aug17-tf
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-08-26
BOY ovERLookED A POINT
Had Selected Turtle Not Sufficiently
Venerable

Had Selected a Turtle Not Sufficiently
Venerable
Speaking of the turtles that were re-
Gently found in Jersey, bearing dates
of fifty and sixty years ago, recalls
an incident that once occurred on the
farm of the late Henry l. Deacon, a
well-to-do and influential resident of
the land beyond the Delaware
A youngster, who was fond of roam
ing over the fine, well kept farm,
found a turtle one day and it occurred
to him to make it one of the ancient
date.
Nothing short of the George Wash
his penknife the boy inscribed, &c.
W. 1776," on the reptiles shell. The
cutting, of course, looked very mod
ern, but this was easily remedied by
rubbing in it mud and polishing it on
the grass.
This done to the satisfaction of the
boy, rushed to the jolly-faced farm
er, exclaiming:
Look, Mr.. Deacon, 1 just found a
turtle more than 100 years old with
George Washington's initials on the
SHELF"
thee has?" said DIR. Deacon, hold
ing out his hand for the turtle.
Yes, SIR returned the youngster
with a very straight face.
The good old farmer glanced at the
reptile just one second, and then burst
out into merry laugh.
Willie, thee darned fool" said he,
chat turtle isn't half grown."-Phil-
adelphia Record.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-08-26
a Tale of Horror.

Tale of Horror.
Not many years ago 1 took
A baby boy to raise
And bring him up as best could
In strictly proper ways.
I hired a homely girl as nurse,
Who said her greatest joy
Would be to show her constant care
And service to the boy
She said she'd had experience
With baby boys, and she
Assured me that for several years
Shed boSSed nursery.
So in the guileless manner of
Old bachelor confidence
I left the baby boy to her
And ended my suspense.
But not for long; that evening when
came back home there
A household filled with dire diSmay;
And truly there was cause.
The baby boy was missing-lost;
The nurse girl tore her hair,
And like loose detective she
Went searching everywhere.
The wretched creature said she'd bathed
Our darling little Jim;
But after that she didn't know
What had become of him.
No baby boy; O. RacheIs grief!
/ rushed around in dread,
The meantime using language which
Were better left unsaid-
At last found the precious lamb,
Down by the sink forloln,
Attired exactly as he was
The day that he was born.
How did it happen? Well. that girl,
The low browed. careless cub.
Had simply poured the baby out
In emptying the tub.
William J. hampton
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-08-26

ing to see her still treating the mother
and grandmother as children They
take her seedlings as if they really DC
not know they are grown up-
Here is conversation l Seard be
tween one of these dear old women
and her mistress, who was the mother
of eight children and the grandmother
of two.
Miss Lily'-any one whom mana
ever knew as miss remains miss"
to the end of the chapter, even if she
has been married for a generation
Miss Lily, you mus'n' walk pom dat
damp grass wild dem thin shoesi Come
in dis mint, now, an put on thicker
ones,"
"Oh, nurse. I'm only running across
to the chicken yard. My feet won't
get wet
two steps! You mus come in an put
on you thick Shoes
Nurse, you're an old tyrant; but ]
suppose 1 must
And the mother of eight children
meekly did as she was told.
Hospitality in Jamaica is a fine old
tradition which even the opening up
of the island as a tourist resort has
not yet destroyed. The poorest plant
er prides himself on maintaining it.
If the traveller is provided with letters
of introduction, so much the better;
but he can hardly travel through the
country except by the well-beaten tour.
list routes without receiving several
hearty invitations to stay in private
homes.
MY DEAR" says the planter at
breakfast, 81 hear there's an American
gentleman staying at old Mother Men
doza's lodgings in the village"
my goodness, Jack! Whatever will
he think of Mrs. Mendoza's greasy
soup? 1 wouldn't want my worst enc
my to eat it. Go down and call on
him and ask him to come and stay
with u.s.
Parties in Honor of Guests.
The planter does so, and as soon as
the guest is installed at the great
house. tennis parties and dances are
arranged in his honor. They are at
tended by other planters families
within a radius of twenty or thirty
miles and it. is not long before the
American, if he is desirable, receives
invitations to stay at half a dozen
houses.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-08-26
What She Said.

A young man strolled into a florists
last week and spent half his week s
salary on a remembrance of her birth
day anniversary. These he sent to her
by a special messenger, inclosing his
card with few select words of good
wishes.
He stationed himself around the
corner from the young woman's resi-
dence, awaiting the return of the mes
senger. When the latter appeared
the young man asked him whether he
had seen the young lady and what she
had said.
YES" replied the messenger, 81
seen her. She was sittin' on the porch
wit young Teller she was sparkin', l
guess 1 give her the flowers, all
right
And what did she say?"
Muffin to me, but she asked that
other guy if he wouldn't like one OF
the roses for his buttonhole. and when
he said Yes she picked ono out and
pinned it on him herself"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-08-26
Surprise For the Husband.

A truly economical woman has been
discovered at Wilton, N. H. Her hus-
band was so unfortunate as to have
his hand badly mangled by contact
with a buzz saw, and a portion of it
was amputated by DIR. George w.
Hatch While he was under anaes-
thetic influence his better half remem-
bered that he had discussed having
his remaining teeth extracted, pre-
paratory to having an artificial set
fitted, and inquired of the doctor If
her husband would remain under the
influence of the ether long enough to
extract the teeth, and if it would cost
any more to have this done also Re.
ceiving favorable replies, she instruct
ed Dr. Hatch to proceed, and her hus
band, when he regained his senses
found that his wife had s'killed two
birds with one stone"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-08-26
A Lounqinq Room.


On the first floor of many houses
there is an unnecessary little room,
called through courtesy a den, a libra
ry or a reception room. AS a matter
of fact, it is without purpose, and L
have never yet been able to under
stand why an architect should add
this superduous touch; but, since the
room is there, it must be considered
fittingly furnished. This little room
can well be done in bamboo, suggests
Vogue. Procure the kind of curtains
one from the sun and have the room
covered in these with strips of bam-
boo portioning off three-foot spaces
and covering the seams; a strip of
bamboo is also run at the top, close
to the cove of the ceiling, and an
other finishes the mating at the bot
tom. High bookcases painted a deep
cream stretch along the walls and
natural color wicker furniture is eff
fective in such a room A square ta-
BILE, lounging chair and small
high backed settle comprise the
furnishing. Very coarse mesh cur
tains are dyed golden brown, and
brown and yellow pottery in quaint
shapes is placed on top of the book
cases-a box of flaming red gerani-
ums are the one touch of vivid color
latest magazines and periodicals. The
little room can thus be used as a rest
full lounging or waiting room.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-08-26
Lily Pond in Garden of "kinss House."

former governors of Jamaica lived and
held high revel, ''all de old bockra
(white gentlemen) dem gone, sab. De
young ones, dem no good! Dere was
money in de old days, an dem spend
it free Dem dance ebry night, sab
an dem drink-land, sab! how dem
did drink"
And the praiser of the times that
have been tells stories of Lucullan
feasts of jerked hog and black crab,
turtle soup and old Madeira. He con-
jures up pictures of the wicked old
times when aideS-de-camp used to ride
alligators through the streets, when
admirals of the blue gave balls to the
brown girls of the town, when vice in
every shape and form was more re-
putable, if not more fashionable, than
it is at present. But it is all mem
DRY. There is not single bottle OF
the old Madeira extant- Nobody even
remembers the He'll Fire club, and the
Oldest inhabitant of the town cannot
tell you how to compound the famous
Bath punch. Nevertheless, the life of
the white planter in Jamaica is fully
as pleasant to-day as it was in the
time of Aaron Bangs. 1t is very much
like the life on the plantations of Vir-
GINA and other southern states in the
days before the war, barring, OF course,
the slavery of the blacks.
Many of these Jamaican planters
belong to the oldest and noblest Brit
ish families, just as the old southern
ers did. Their ancestors who emigrat-
ed to Jamaica were probably friends
in the old country of those gentlemen
Adventures" who built up the colony
of Virginia The plantations and the
family plate and family pride have
been handed down perhaps for more
than a couple of hundred years. Such
q life as that which Thackeray has
described in the opening chapters of
s.The virginians'' is still lived to-day
in much the same fashion on many
Jamaica plantations There is the
same generous hospitality, the same
pride, the same solicitude for depend
ents, the same free, open-air, rollick-
ing life There are thousand points
of resemblance, but perhaps the clos
est is the likeness of the West Indian
mana" to the old southern nanny
aNana's" Position.
When one of her former charges
marrfes mana" goes to her new home
as a matter of course. 1t is not at all
Uncommon to find that she has nursed
mother, daughter and granddaughter.
one after the other. Naturally she be-
comes the family despot- 1t is anus
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-08-26
Jamaica's Glories Gone
Especial Correspondence.)

Readers of "Tom Cringle's Log.
must have wished that they could have
lived in Jamaica in the spacious days
of Paul Geld and Aaron Bangs, and
held high festival with governors and
judges and bishops and admirals in
the great house of a sugar planta-
ton which in those distant days, pro-
duced a revenue sufh to make the
Creole heiresses the first prizes in the
English matrimonial market.
The sugar plantations are no longer
a source of great wealth, owing to the
competition of the European beet
product Once, when you said a man
was a sugar planter in Jamaica, you
meant that he was a magnate. Now,
the term implies that he is an unfor-
tunate wretch who lies awake at
nights thinking about the mortgages
on his property Even Aaron Bangs
plantation-for he was a real man and
his house and property were faithfully
described by Michael Scott-has now
gone out of sugar" as they say in
Jamaica, and is devoted to the culti-
walton of bananas for the American
market. But the great house, which
is called 'sTulloch," still exists exactly
as it did in the time of Scott. 1t is
owned by my uncle-in-law and 1 have
stood in the hallowed spot where Tom
C-ingle split his breaches and had to
be helped out of the room under cover
of his pretty cousins petticoat.
Near by is Spanish Town, formerly
called Saint Jago de la Vega, in the
days when it was the capital of the
colony and 'the home of all that was
wise, learned, gallant, hospitable and
distinguished" Now it is moribunS
town-little better than a deserted
negro village, with grass growing in
the streets. Long-tailed pigs wander
about the main thoroughfares and
quarrel with the John Crow vultures
for the ownership of the garbage.
There are no other scavengers.
Prominence of ST. Jago.
Yet, as you wander through the de-
serted streets, you feel that once ST.
Jago de la Vega was indeed a city.
The huge houses, now empty and
tumbling to pieces, have an air of aris-
tocracy about them, to which those in
Kingston, the modern capital, have no
pretensiOn-
"Cho, sahi" says the old negro VINO
conducts you through the vast halls
of the abandoned kings house, where
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-08-26

The planters house servants are al.
ways looked upon as the luckiest OF
the negroes on the plantation. They
have all the faithfulness and lively wit
and humor SO commonly associated
with the southern darby and it is
curious how closely their habits and
amusements correspond to his. He
dances the cakewalk; they dance the
"shay-shay." He tells Uncle Remus
stories; they tell stories about Br'er
Anancy, the crafty spider. And they
are fond of making up songs about the
events of the day, just as he did, in
the good old times, and singing then
in their quarters at night. Many OF
Jehovad had entered through them
these ballads eventually become en-
shrined in West Indian folklore
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-08-26
Points About a watermelon.

To plug is to let air into the melon,
causing whitening and decay around
the edges of the holes, no matter how
carefully the plug is replaced To
plunk does no harm Down on your
knees over a fine, large one, shining
green amid the vines OF the patch );
lean over and press one hand on each
side-a quick, sharp squeeze-an ear
inclined to hear sound Does it crackle
in response? Does sound come
forth like a ripping of the heart
within-a breaking down of those
walls of solid juiciness? Then 1T has
plunked, then it is ripe, then 1t is fit
for the gods to eat
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-08-26
"You have told me what you have
been, not what you are"

been, not what you are"
while she read him news from Lon
don paper six weeks old.
He gained rapidly after that. In
weeks time he was able to hobble
about the mud walled garden of the
mission. The girl was with him con-
stantly, reading to him on the little
veranda, or singing to him in the soft
glow of the September twilights.
Gradually he told her of his life
of his aimless wanderings, of his
wasted opportunities. He neither soft
ened his past nor excused it. There
were many parts Of it, of course, that
he did not mention; but what he did
tell her of it he told in a plain,
straightforward way, with sometimes
a note of wistful sadness in his voice.
And she was always grave and SYM
pathetic and eminently lovable-
So the days flew past-very happy
days they were for Barlow, until there
came a bitter night when he walked
the narrow, crooked streets of Flu
Chang alone and had it out with him
self. What was he that he should
dare to love woman like this? He
cursed himself for a blind fool. That
past of his own making rose before
him like grim gate, shutting him
forever from paradise.
The gray morning light was break
ing over the crooked, dirty streets of
Fu-Chang when he returned to the
mission and threw himself on his bed
utterly exhausted; but sleep he could
not. and after tossing restlessly for
awhile, he arose and stood at the win
dow, watching the sun creep up above
the mud-walled huts.
All these wasted years and nothing
| to show for it but the bitterness of
his heart and an ancient yellow map.
In his despair he caught the map
| from his pocket and tore it into small
| bits. Perhaps it was best after all,
he reflected. He doubted his ability
| to remain silent had his assets been
| otherwise.
1t was evening before he could trust
| himself to see her. He found her in
| the garden and went to her smiling
| bravely.
| Il am going away tonight" said
he. 81 must somehow earn enough
to repay the kindness that has been
shown me here"
| He saw her face pale little.
you are not able to go yet" she
said
Il am better able now than 1 shall
be later" he returned almost roughly
She looked up suddenly and saw
he was trembling. His face was white
Don't-don't CO." she urged e-Stay
until you are stronger. Stay until
| until"
He drew himself up.
ct means too much if stay said
he
You must. anyway" she said in q
| low voice
Good God, child!" he burst out
haven't told you what 1 ann"
She smiled up at nina smile OF
perfect faith and perfect understand
ing
You have told me what you have
been, not what you are" she sale
gently.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-08-26

ttWhere am II" Barlow asked.
t'This is the Fu-Chang Mission"
said she.
HAnd you?" he inquired.
q am the daughter of Father Ray
mond, as they call him here
How long have 1 been here?'
-Four weeks nearly" she said.
1.-TWO coolies bought you at night.
They said you had been beaten by
highwaymen on the Sheng-ti road. You
mustn't talk yet" she went on as he
was about to speak. 'sShan't 1 read
to you?"
Barlow nodded and closed his eyes,
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-08-26
,HHgya[uAt6 [5uDf
MG IN By z. B. SHELTON
By z. B. SHELTON

Yale had given an A. B., Heidelberg
had made him a Phi. D., The World,
the flesh and the devil had done the
rest.
In the course of many wanderings
and as many diverse experiences he
had come to the province of Fan
Chau with legend of deserted gold
mine of wonderful richness ringing in
his ears and a parchment map very
yellow and apparently of great age in
the inside pocket of his khaki coat.
But just outside Fu-Chang he encount-
cred one of the many bands of high
waymen that infest the region. Be
ing averse to trouble in any form, his
two coolies had left him to face the
music alone; and while they fed howl
ing with terror he put up single
handed but unavailing resistance,
which, while it lasted, was a joy to his
wild reckless soul
When darkness had fallen and there
were only the great, silent stars to see,
the two coolies came creeping back.
They found him lying in the mud, his
clothing torn, his face a mass of
blood, and one arm broken where he
had shielded his head from the blow
of a cudgel. Near him lay two limp,
silent figures, their yellow features
livid and distorted.
The coolies held whispered consul
tation. Then they lifted him between
them and bore him down the slough,
which was called a road, toward the
distant lights of Fu-Chang. But first
they rified his clothes, and in an inner
pocket they came across a map and
gold coin that the highwaymen had
overlooked. The map, having no in
trinsic value, they replaced.
They left him at the mission in Flu
Chang. and went their way, for the po
tentialities Of that golden coin were
strong upon them.
Another man would have died; but
Robert Barlow had a grip on life that
was almost uncanny. After weeks of
Inconsistencies, during which it
seemed that each hour must be his
last, he opened his eyes; slowly, pain
fully collected his wandering senses;
then fell to roundly cursing the high
waymen for misbegotten vandals, and
his coolies for equally misbegotten
towards. After which he sank back.
on the cool pillows utterly exhausted,
and fell into deep, refreshing sleep.
The old missionary smiled knowing
1y. He will live" he said grimly, and
he went to the kitchen to get some
Strengthening broth for his patient.
When Barlow awoke it was early
evening. He could hear sandals clat-
tering by on the uneven pavements
of the street. The odor of some
strange, sweet flower f1oated in
through the open window. He stirred
uneasily and sat up He was quite
alone in the room.
81 say, somebody" he called Justify.
There was a sound of light foot
falls, the soft rustic of skirts. In the
doorway was a CLEAN of white. He
looked up to see young woman
standing there-such a woman as Bar
low had not beheld for many months;
the kind of a woman he had we'll
nigh forgotten existed in this world
of disappointment and trouble. He
felt his heart jump to his throat. The
color crept into his sunburned face.