Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1905-09-22
OONONNNNO~

No~o-0o-~-o-~Io-o--
as 1t true that the Bloptons are liv.
ing beyond their income?" Worse
than that. They're living beyond their
credit. it."-Brooklyn Life.
"The automobile has not accomplish
ed much in actual business" said the
utilitarian. "Oh, yes, 1t has. 1t has
helped accident insurance great
deal. Washington Star.
This meat" protested the boarder,
SIS overdone." Not exactly, it amt"
replied the waitress; its done over
This Is the same meat you had yes
erday."-Philadelphla Press.
Flatbroke-Fm sorry can't pay
that bill now-you'll have to wait
awhile. And I'd like a suit this spring,
too. Tailor-You'll get 1t. I'm going
to start one o-morrow-Cleveland
Leader.
Tired Mother Ito restless child
Now you set still. I've drug you ten
miles to enjoy this entertainment and
you shall enjoy it If | have to pull
every hair out of your head!-Kansas
City Independent.
"You can always tell an English
man." began the Britisher, boastfully.
"But 1t would only be waste of
BREATH" interrupted the Yankee, "be-
cause he thinks he knows it ALL
Philadelphia Ledger.
Bessie, haw many sisters has your
new playmate "She has one, man.
ma. She tried to fool me by saying
she had two half-sisters; but | guess
she didn't know that | studied frac-
tions. Washington Life.
Typewriter Agent-Pardon me, sir,
but may l ask what is the style of
your typewriter? Merchant (enthusi-
astically)-Right up to date. Elbow
sleeves lace insertion shirt-wast, and
all that sort Of thing.-New York
Weekly.
What kind Of looking man Is that
chap Gabbleton you just mentioned? I
don't believe l have met him." "Well,
If you see two men off in a corner any
where and one of them looks bored to
death, the other one Is Gabbleton."
Puck.
what conclusion did your literary
and debating society reach last night"
"Oh," answered Miss Cayenne, "the
conclusion was as usual-chlcken
salad, ice cream, and Goodnight; had
.. perfectly lovely time "-Washlng-
ton Star.
Mr.. Dresser-Didn't that new nurse
come that l engaged for little Clar-
ence? Mrs. Dresser-Oh, yes, but she
wouldn't do! She had nothing but blue
2 dresses to wear, and blue you know Is
, only for girl babies. Pink's for boys.
, Philadelphia Press.
"Are you going to Europe this sum-
: merW II don't know" answered Mrs.
D Cumrox; "going to Europe isn't what
, 1t used to be, you know. When man
( travels now lot Of people turn up
: their noses and wonder whether a
= grand jury Is after im."-Washing-
g ton Star.
s Wee Hostess-Mamma, shall invite
s Lucy Littnay to my party? Mamma
: Certainly. She is the minister daugh-
o ter. "Do ministers daughters get in
: vited everywhereT always" "They
o has lots of fun, s'pose? l wish my
papa was minister stead Of a miser-
o able sinner"
Mrs. Highhorse-Of course, l am
t particular about the family my son
y marries into. Is there any taint in
/ your blood, such as lunacy, for in
stance. Mr.. Newrox-No, madam, and
: there's not going to be either! | told
my daughter If she married your son
s. I'd cut her off without a cent.-De-
s. troit Free Press.
u, Mrs. NUDGE do admire the women
- you draw, Mr.. Penlnk They are so
', beautiful and so refined! Tell me, who
- is your model? Mrs. Nudge rises in
', Mrs. Penink's opinion Penink-Oh,
:. my wife always sits for me. Mrs.
Nudge with great surprise)-You
;, don't say so! Well | think you're one
- of the cleverest men | know MRS.
Penink's opinion of Mrs. Nudge falls
below zero. Punch.
my dear" said patient wife who
had been studying the war news 'if
r | were to marry again | would marry
a Russian" whats the trouble
/ now?' inquired the husband tremulous-
e ly. "When you came home last night
= you left your hat and umbrella on the
: dining room table, your collar and
# necktie were under the chair and your
+ watch this morning is run down. A
Russian can at least retire in good or
!, derv'
l. Mrs. B.--I suppose you find your
I daughter very much improved by her