The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1905-07-15

! "a 80
Such 9 Mistake -physician-Yon,
anment lies In the larynx, thorax and
eplglottis. Hooligan--Indadet AM
me afther thinkin' III trouble was in
me throat. u. Die ~" "''@ :
Long Distance Appreciation,
Iordan-Did you ever hear nv daueh.
yer sing, Mr.. Johnson? Mr.. Johnaon.--
On yes; I only live Ave blocks from
your house, you know. a.s5. :, -
Baby. the Riggest.-Mr. Bigger
MRS. Bigger, and Baby Bigger which
OF this interesting family ia the biz.
gesf and8why the biggest2 Answer
Baby Bigger, because he ia a little
Bigger. g ~ - 4 ;; - A -
Exeused.-I say, If you are 60 aw.
tully smart at problems, tell me how
Iar on thunder Is when you hear the
nrst ron. Calculator can't do that,
sir. crawfoot-You can't? Calculat.
or-No; I'm the lightning calculator.
a PUMA man driving In the coun.
Try lost nut on his wagon wheel
meeting an Italian, he asked Il he
mad monkey wrench. The indignant
Italian wrathfully replied, "Me no
keep monkey ranch; me keep sheep
ranch."a e., ..:~,.. =. - , :
ConVincing.-"Certainly, am sure
It's counterfeit note" said the re-
ceiving teller. ut has one very notice
able flaw; it's in the paper" But
my dear man." protested the deposition,
In these days you can't believe every
thing you see In the paper"
A Hint.-Mr. Might've Cooking up
from the paper)-Well, well! Won.
ders will never cease! They've got 30
now that they can photograph in col
orS. Mrs. Highlive (glancing at his
nose)-I think, my dear, you'd better
get your picture taken before the old
process is abandoned.
Exemplary Punishment.-A mother
brought her little son for his first time
to school, and said to the teacher:
This boy o. mine Is very delicate, as
ne Is afther At Of harmonic on the
loongs; but If he does anything bould.
an know he will, bate the wan next
to him, an twill brighten him"
He Won Easily.-Mr. Subbubs-
You know you're only talking non.
sense. What do you want a couple of
new gowns for? Mrs. Subbubs-Why,
Mrs. Playne has got a dozen gowns,
all Of them much handSomer than the
two or three that I've got Mr.. Sub.
bubs-Yes, know. But a homely
woman like that needs rich attire in
order to attract attention.
Selling the Opportunity.-"Always,"
advises the pompous person who has
accumulated several millions. always
say, I will Never allow yourself to
be dismayed by the outlook! Over
come the outlook! That's the way to
succeed" zone, then" comments the
poor person to whom he addresses this
homily, should always say, I wilr2"
Yes, sir" And you always say it7"
II do" "Wrl you lend me half a
million to get my airship In running
orderT
Proved His Teacher Wrong.-Little
Willie's father found his youthful son
holding up one Of his rabbits by the
ears and saying to him: "How much
Is seven times seven, now? Bah" the
father heard the boy say, II knew you
couldn't. Here's another one: Six
times six is how much?" "Why, Will
lie, what in the world are you doing
with your rabbit" asked the father.
Willie threw the rabbit down with
disgust II knew our teacher was
wrong" was all he said. "Why, how"
asked his father. why, she told us
this morning that rabbits were the
greatest multipliers in the world.