The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-05

egateS, but the man VINO Calls the Eo1A AS y
washington Star. 81
Our friends, the Joneses, having: taken
a country cottage for week ends. become
Mrs. JoneseWhat a lot of potatoes we
shall have, Jack. I've been counting the
Mr.. Jones-Do the potatoes come where
the blossoms is, then?
Mrs. Jones-Of course they do. Jack
Punch.
Now, children said the Sunday school
teacher, 81 want some one to tell me what
Teacher piped the new boy in the
back a7a seat t. s nap ,ln ms ringers.
mo. DON'T replied the boy, pessimis,,
ticalIy, but it's a cinch that'll be blamed
on me- '-Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Geehaw-This man Posse seems to
be a public spirited fellow.
Mrs. Giddap-How's that, Mirandy?
Mrs. Geehaw-Why, every time anybody
duz anything notice he drops his work
an goes right after Charlottesville Cour-
Ter Journal.
tendency to keep people cool in hot
.sThey certainly tend to produce a cool
ness between friends."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The Prodigal Son had just been well
Pretty fair reception he remarked.
but it's nothing to the way they rooted
when I made home run on the dia-
Passing the plate for more veal, he ac-
cepted the congratulations graciously.-
TELL me-" said the fresh young caller,
producing cigarette, does smoking go
yes" replied Miss Bright. promptly.
land SO do the smokers. ''-Philadelphia
Ledger
They say you're making plenty money
in the stock market
Yes; 1 never lose anything.
'Ah! You get straight tips. chi"
mo; sell them. Detroit Free Press
'Nuritch is forever making the most dis
gushing incendiary speeches"
You surprise mel L don't understand.
money to rn.'-Philadelphia Ledger.
81 shook hands with Bilkins this morn
ing; He doesn't seem well. What's the
matter with him?'
Il think it's ennui."
Heavens! Ny wife would worry if she
of these conta gious diseases home to the
children. Plain Dealer.
well, welr' exclaimed the man who
was reading the scientific notes, some
one has invented a woman's theater hat
s'Huh!' snorted the other, somebody
else ought to invent box party that
would do the same thing occasionally
Philadelphia Press.
The man who can fill a fountain pen
without getting ink all over his fingers
and the woman who can keep a watch
minute in a month ought to have some
wonderful children, if they should ever
make their minds UP to get married.
SomerVille Journal.
Mike-Phwat is a good openin' fer
young man?
Puck.
He-But thought you'd forgiven me for
that and promised to forget it,
She-Yes-but 1 didn't promise to let
you forget I'd forgiven it!-Punch.
Each nation and each neighborhood
Would ring with sweet Utopian glee
If everybody were as good
AS he wants other folks to be.
Washington Star.
Gyer-There goes man with a pull and
he has managed to make lot of money
Myer-Politfcian, eh?
Gyer-No; dentist.-Chicago News.
Clara Ito her young manu- declare,
Harry, you take the words right out OF
Little Brother willie-Oh, mamma, now
I know what Clara and Harry were doing
out in the hall when she let him in.-Ex-
change.
They had been married three months.
IF 1 am not home by midnight, dar-
ling" he said as he started down town,
don't be anxious"
"All right, dearest" she replied. land il
I'm not home when you return don't wor-
ry.''-Chicago News
We've. got a good motto for our paper"
What is it?' asked the slight acquain-
lance.
''Oi see; referring to your circulation.
By the way. l didn't know you were
Were not; we manufacture flypaper'-
Philadelphia Press.
Miss de Simpson" said the young sec
rotary of legation, Il have opened nego-
tiationS with your father upon the sub
yieW 9timateIy to erSi Iu oaIeneT With
and he has responded favorably. May [
ask if you will ratify the arrangement, as
tsMr. Won Harris answered the daugh-
ter of the eminent diplomat, don't Won
recognition Of my administrative enfify iI II
you had asked me fifst?'-Chicago Tri-
bune.
Mrs. Browne-I wonder if the new order
of things will reform Mr.. Luschley to any
e7 nns Has marYTled' pnderstand
now--Philadelphia Press.
Knicker-Does your wife know ANYTHING
of finance?
Bocker-What she doesn't know Just flls
my checkbook.-New York Sun
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR
IFrom the New York Press.
Whichever way a lawsuit goes. it ia
robbing Paul to pay the lawyer
There is an awful lot OF money vast
ed in trying inventions sold to save it.
A girl who has her hand squeezed
gets very indignant ts have anybody
looking.
If a man has been introduced to a
he always speaks of him
afterward by his first name.
A woman would rather wear NO
clothes at all than not have her daukh.
ter the best dressed girl in the block.