Free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1888-1908, 1905-12-23

In the winter of SO at brand new
mining camp on the Yukon there was
a select society. One dark afternoon
just before Christmas, with the mer-
curry standing below the zero mark at
some 20 odd, and a bitter wind sweep
ing down the river, the host blew into
the coy Office of the agent.
"E want you to do two things for
me-"
'"All. right said the agent, with
ready courtesy, what do you lack?"
IN the first place." said the host, 81
want You to take Christmas dinner
with me-"
That's easy" said the agent.
In the second place. want you to
help me out with the dinner"
Take the whole house if you want
it."
mo. 1 don't quite want the house."
said the host, but l want that little
Frenchman. your cook-what's his
| name?"
| Louis is yours" said the agent
| "And I want whole lot of other
| things, said the host, with a sigh.
I'm afraid I'r9 UP against it hard
whats the Same?" said the agent.
| We'll, you see, it's this way" saio
| the host. I've invited the governor
and his son, and the general and his
wife, and you and l make UP the part.
| Further, 1 have asked each guest to
choose some dish he would like for
dinner, and, however difficult, l have
agreed to provide it,
We'll, l admire your nerve" said
the agent, you must imagine that San
| Francisco or New Orleans is just
| around the next bend in the river. Do
you know what the word Yukon
| means?"
NO." said the host, despondentiy.
1T means, nothing to eat. ;"
Before we go any further said the
| host, entirely ignoring the agents tri-
umph, what is yonrs?"
Rum omeIet," said the agent, with
out moments hesitation.
Hunt" unused the host, rum, of
course, but that means fresh eggs,
with nothing but scrambled eggs in
the town. Canned eggs won't omelet;
I've tried EN-"
"Blackie's got a hen," suggested the
agent, "she roosts on the foot OF his
bed to keep from freezing to death"
"Yes, l know" said the host, "but
she laid her last egg on the steamer
just before it reached town. No hope
at all there
Hes up against the real thing
now" sang the agent with delight
by the way, what did the others
choose?"
ITO begin with the easiest, the gov
errors son wants some dish cooked in
the French fashion"
why not let Louis make a caribou
saute?" suggested the agent.
Just the thing"
What next?"
THE generals wife wants fresh pc
tatoes No evaporated or granulated
spuds CO."
Got any?" asked the host anxiOusly
Frozen ones" said the agent.
will they do boiled?"
NO, mashed, said the agent, "whiI
EN- up with a little butter and canned
cream and then brown 'em in the
oven"
Bully" said the host, lapsing into
the vernacular of the west and rub
bing his hands together.
What does the governor want?'
asked the agent.
Marrow on toast" said the host du
biously.
holy smokei" exclaimed the agent
''Not a COW brute this side of Dawson
and that is 775A miles up the Yukon
Better start an airship for Seattle a
once There are two horses in town
you might buy one and-hold on {
minute as the dawn of an idea ap
peared in his eyes, wait till l go ou
and look on the roof of the cabin.
He stepped out of the door and re
turned in a few moments looking mys
teriously triumphant.
Whats on the roof of your ole
cabin?" said the host skeptically.
The agent tiptoed dramatically III
to him, put his hand to his mouth ant
said in a loud stage whisper, Moose
shanks."
WHAT" said the host.
Frozen moose bones full of mar
row. explained the agent, beaming
you see l have had several moose
hams this fall, and as fast as the mea
was cut off Louis threw them on the
roof of the cabin, intending to make
!. | soup fo- the dogs. Now what will b'
the dogs loss will be the governor.
. | gain, for those bones are full of mar
row. everyone of them"
Shake said the host as he extend
| ed his right hand.
Now let's see," said the agent mus
ing, whats next? o yes. the general
| Bet you the drinks 1 know what h'
| wants He wants booze"
| You're not so much" said the host
, laughing Il guessed that myself
When [ asked him, he put the whol'
/ proposition in as few words as posi-
BILE; all he said was, 'lashin's o. cham
pagne.'