West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1905-11-23

TO be caught setting on the lid when
the fuseman calls around. l am will
ling to make any sacrifice for the
Machine, except my anatomy flying
through the air. With all the love
and veneration l have for Gov.
Dawson / could stand his flying
through the air better than myself.
The Governor has been blown up
on two or three occasions and he is
somewhat of an immune.
The first inkling / had that the
Machines had met with disaster was
the display of roosters In the news
papers. The papers were full of all
sizes and conditions. From the
bantam to the old Lunghill they
were Growing Justly. Gov. Dawson
has frequently said to me:
Rambler, 1t is always a bad
omen for the Machine when the
roosters begin to crow. AS long as
you can keep the rooster lhrottled
the Machine is in no danger. But
when he is perched upon the stake.
and-rider fence you had better look
out for squalls"
This reminds me that | have
never observed a rooster in the
Governors barnyard. Another
thing | have noticed and that is that
the Governor always orders the fem
inine genders for his chicken potpie.
issued call for all the piemen
to come to Charleston to attend a
conference. Not one 2ieman failed
to respond to my call. They as
sembled around my bed side, and
after discussing the question for
forty-eight hours as to the cause of
the obstruction of the Machines in
Ohio, New York and Pennsylvania
we unanimously agreed that it was
due TO the elimination of the Daw-
son tax laws. We concluded that
the people had learned that Gov.
Dawson was in foreign countries
with his tax laws, and as the Gov
ernor has patent on his tax laws
they cannot be utilized or discussed
without his consent. The people
believe, and rightly too, that "char-
ity begins at home" as well as "cov-
er:ng a multitude of sins" The
people grew hostile and demonstra.
tive when the Governor took his tax
laws out of the country. This hos
tility and demonstration grew each
day until finally it became a cyclone
and struck the Machines.
sent a telegram Of coincidence
to each one Of the Machines and
apprised them of my condition.
Some how feel that shall need
their coincidence in 1906 when our
Machine is placed on the market
for inspection. When / recover my
equanimity l shall cable the Cover
nor TO return to America with his
tax laws. Ifhe does not he will not
recognize the Machine after 1906.
One Of the saddest thoughts that
fits through my mind is the horrible
nightmares that Boss Flynn and El.
der Whetsell are fighting. There
will be no Joy in Kingdom for the
Machines have been destroyed. No
one has been more faithful and 10y.
al TO the Machine than the Boss
and the Elder. But ! must say in
justice to the Machine that their
faithfulness and loyalty has not been
without reward. They have always
been given full control of the dough
and the pies in Preston county to
be utilized in such manner that
they would draw the legal interest
and retain the principal for the wear
and tare on their vocal organs in
shouting 10 the faithful to "vote the
ticket straight from President to
constable" 1t is at this season of
the year that the Boss and the Elder
edo things" too numerous to men
ton. But should our Machine one
year hence meet the fate of the
Ohio, New York and Pennsylvania
Machines, I would not hazard a
guess where the Boss and the Elder
would land, whether it would be on
the sod or the dump.
It is an old saying that misfortune
never comes singly. This Is apph-
cable to Machines as we'll as honest
people. From the number Of letters
am receiving from old Reno ] am
lead to believe that they do not ap
preciate the wealth which has been
conferred upon them by the benevo-
lent Dawson tax laws. Boss Flynn
and Elder Whetsell writes me that
1t is not safe for the Ring to give
free entertainments in old Reno.
"Only Farmer" who was always
loyal and faithful to the Ring, has
been having queer dreams Of the
! wealIh uhlch lhn nn-.nr l.. L.