davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
TRIBUTE TO DEAD.
Italian JacIies Hold Services at Grave
 of Bennington Sailors.

San Diego. Cal. Aug. 21.-Tribute to the memory of the victims of the Ben nington disaster was given today by the officers and men of the Italian cruis- CT Umbria. Eight officers. including the captain, all the petty officers and half a hundred sailors, went to Fort Rosecrans, where they were joined by Colonel Mcclellan and Captain Scott. and proceeded to the military cemetery on Port Lorna
 There they placed upon the mound under which lies nearly fifty bodies of the Bennington's sailors the largest handsome floral wreath ever seen in Southern California. Six sailors bore 1t to the common grave. It was five feet long by three feet and half wide. and consisted of white roses. maiden hair fern and white carnations, tied with ribbons of heavy silk five yards long and eight inches wide. on which, in letters of gold. were the words, 'Royal Italian Navy Steamship Um- bria, To the Victims of the Y. s. s. Ben nington." The sailors grouped about the grave while the captain of the Um- bria briefly expressed the sympathy of the Italian navy and spoke of the hero ism of the dead and wounded
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
Why Go WestR
why 0O "GoA Coosa River (Centrel News

Coosa River (Centrel News.
 Register Joe L. Mcconnell on We'd nesday left in this office one stalk of cotton 6 1-2Nfeet high, containing oyer sixty bolls and squares The patches from which this stalk of green cotton was lifted contain only three-Quarters of an acre; is within seventy-five yards of The News's office, and has produced, for the last twenty-five years, never less than a 500-pound bale of lint cot ton Mir Mcconnell says that last year 1t banned out 300 pounds of lint; two 450- pound bales: yet many of our neigh bors are every fall going West looking for profitable farming country. =@-
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
WHERE WILL HE cor
The Brooklyn Eagle remarks:


 ,,as Loomis m & ,s to So He has ., anneueSsa s ss, Si survive Ss sns foss Which
 SHs S sss months ss ssasss sso tempt tempt to s smotSsr-fuei fs is added to t the the panysng announcement is made. It Is to the effect that the first assistant will accept some other place in the Department of state. This is gracious. Should @ not t0pRs''ssnstS Be sorsScomins. uhauess or snoasa shs af0sesaS {. wss hot siSSs ' .Rs s as po.slSi,ss ,sks '. of Ysos nS@en M wore n'ssr in tse Same Soat went and the other 9s i9aebted to the de- . seid to harnonins I1r se with % % shs fitness of things. Discrimination is invidious.
 If we were disposed to chop logic we might ask. Go wheref It would be comforting. of course, to know that he is to go into deserved obscurity, but that doesn't seem assured. He himself admits that he Is to retire from his present position. but gives out a very broad hint that he is to have 8 diplomatic appointment abroad. We can't say whether he has grounds for the intimation thus given out or wheth- CT it is merely a big blun. He inti- mates that the only difficulty in the way is to decide what country he Is to be accredited to- As The New York Post says. 1t ought to be land where the people cannot read. Any nation whose citizens are able to understand the true bearings of Secretary Tafts report on Loomis could not but feel insulted to have such 8 man sent to it as minister. And possibly even President Roosevelt will at last get tired of hearing MT Loomis announce himself as indispensable to the public service"
 If we might make a suggestion we would pick out Dahomey as the proper country to send him to. Not that we have any special ground of complaint against the Africans over there, but because we do not look on Loomis as fit and proper man to represent this government among any but uncivilized peoples.
 Speaking of Loomis. we note as one of the encouraging signs of the times that some of our Republican brethren of the press have soured on him very decidedly While they gave open or tacit approval to the Presidents action in the Bowen and Loomis entangle- ment they are beginning to show very plainly that they think Roosevelt has gone far enough. if he has not already passed the limit. Some of them do not hesitate to say that the two tainted diplomats should have walked the plank in company. They think one Is as bad as the other--tf not little worse.
 It may be that the President himself Is preparing to change fEont, as he has done on frequent occasions in the past. About the only real reason he could give for downing Bowen and honor ing Loomis was that the latter was his friend. He didn't put 1t exactly on that ground, but that was about what it amounted to. It is possible that he has heard some of the echoes and has had time to reflect that his obstinacy and favoritism were misplaced. If that Is true he will be likely to let Loomis retire and remain in retire. ment, especially as he can certainly with pretty general approval. It will be well if we have heard the last of the business
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
DriftWccd
BY PHIL H. ARMSTRONG.

A machine has been invented by @ Pittsburg man that turns out forty complete pies a minute.-Newspaper item.
 Machine-Made Pies. What is this the paper sez7
 If this don't beat the Jews. Come. Mandy. draw yer cheer up m biamdest piece uv news. Here read It to me, Mandy,
 Fer tn fine print hurts my eyes. l thought saw headline there
 Machine For Making Pies" What's thet--you surely read 1t wrong. Forty pies a mint? Well,
 I'm sad to see this day. Like hadn't nun things already
 That's invented ev'fy size. l. To ruin @ mans digestion
 But gee! Machine-made pies. What would paw an maw uv thought Elf someone had uv said The day would come when blamed ma
 chimes
 Would make our pies and bread. Them days a man'd been tux up
 Ez crazy ez a bean. Who'd a dared to talk uv some
 Internal Pie Machine. O shades of pie-fed ancestors
 O sweet faced mothers all, We'll learn to sigh fer them good pies Now gone beyond recall. For lands sakes Mandy, don't you sniff Tn breads about to rise. Let's make a good peach -cobbler-- Dern machine-made pies!
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
The Cruelty of Fear.

selma JOuFnal.
 The people of Moundville must have been very badly frightened over the supposed case of fever which was dis covered near there. Dr. Sanders states that if the people had been willing for the sick man to have been moved From the cotton. house to a comfortable place his life might have been saved. This quarantine business is doubtless nec- essary but it is promoting a spirit of selhshness in the people which will be worse than yellow fever if 1t continues to grow. When hospitable, warm hearted people like we know the citl- gems of Moundville to be. allow them selves to let man die without proper attention, and doctors who are trying to help him go without comforts and convenIences to aid them 1t Is time halt was called and people began to reason little. A community had bet ter lose a large per centage of its pop ulation by a pestilence than to sink into a state of selhshness which makes it flee from a sick man and leave him to die alone and unattended. If we are going to allow that sort of spirit to prevail we had better accept Dr. Os- 1er's theory at once and go to kp rocking old people in the head and drowning weddings in their infancy,
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
TUESDAY, AUGUST as, ieoS.
MARRrAcr AND DIVORCE.


 Speaking of the unharmonious laws and divorce. The Chicago Journal thinks 'It would be impossible, per- haps, to harmonize the marriage laws" It is unfortunate if that Is true. We do not mean that in all the States the marriage ceremony must be performed by only the same officials or under the same circumstances and conditions. but we do mean that a marriage that is .usgal and binding in one State should be recognized as valid in all the StatesS .
 WE hold the same opinions on the subject of divorces. Perhaps it Is not possible to get or have a system which will be alike in all the States. There are different laws and different re- auirements all over the Union as to what does or should constitute grounds of divorce. The various religious de- nominations differ on the subject as of course they have a right to do. All of this may not be remediable but what we do think is possible and de- sirabIe is that a divorce granted under the laws of one State should be re- oognized asagalid in all the States. We can see no reason. in short, why a a legal marriage or divorce. wherever performed or granted. should not be legal and binding wherever the par ties may go in the United States. Whether it is possible in the future to enact uniform marriage and divorce laws for the entire Union may be a matter of doubt, but there should not be any doubt thrown on either sub feet if it is legal in one state.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
Ia m nLrNni
In a recent issue of The Portland oregonian we find this reference to a much discussed occurrences;

In recent issue of The Portland oregonian we find this reference to a much discussed occurrence:
 John Wannmaker invites the repro- bation of the South 6y entering a lngtOn and breaking bread with him. willing to sit at sabie witk gentlemen. derstands that the South doesn't think 1t the proper thing to invite negroes to dinner and nearly everybody has no particular fault to find find about It. You Chinaman, or an Indian unless you want to; but If any particular negro, or Chinaman, or Indian happens to be which each particular knife, fork and spoon Is to be put. he might make more acceptable guest than some white people. For that reason. If MT: Wan amaker insists on choosing his own guests, 1t would seem to be his own business.
 The Advertiser has not considered 1t necessary to copy and reprint what has been the almost universal senti ment of the Southern press on this subject, for all of it is severely con demnatory, and 1t is useless to fill col umns with what fig practically the same thing. We copy the above from one of the most prominent and high toned journals of the great Northwest merely to show how little a really great newspaper seems to appreciate the significance of the occurrence. as the papers first gave 1t. If The Ore gonian could see nothing in the incl dent but mere matter of taste on Mir. wanamaker's part 1t snows a wonder full lack of information or understand ing of the baleful effect that such an example would have down here. Is 1t really blind, or only conveniently lacking in perception?
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22

The goodly old town of Charlotte, N C., is in for hilarious time pretty soon. They are going to have Labor fDay celebration there and the crowd will be addressed by Ben Tillman. Tom ilWatson, Mayor Woodward and other well known public men," By all means they should have Tom Johnson. Mayor Dunne and other of their kind, and then they should take ofr the limit and let speaking be free and un- confined.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
Looking Ahead.
O8 1NHHNNNWs Birmingham Age-Herald.

Us
 If Jefferson rolls up a population in chances are very good that Mir. Under wood will have but one county in his district. The present ratio of popula ton to a representative is I94,1S2, and 1t Is improbable that it will rise to or even approach 250.000 in 1910 It is safe, therefore, to assume that Jefferson will have a representative in the first Congress that sits under the thirteenth census.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
A Gnod Naovnmanf.

A movement toward bettering and an extension of our public schools must be welcomed by every right-thinking citi- zen. It is especially appropriate and timely now, when a concerted effort is grafton to the Southland. Hitherto we have escaped it, and in view of the con- dition of our public schools, 1t has been 6 most fortunate escape. All credit to Governor Jelks and the other good citi- gems who believe "ir time of peace pre- pare for war;" and are taking the best possible measures to neutralize the dan ger that2n ecessarily accompanies immi- grafton
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
women Can Change It.
Roanoke Leader.

This editor did not live in the ante- bellum days. of which The Times man writes. but we notice that customs seem to have changed on this point even in our recollection. It Is nothing uncom-- mon now to see boys puff1ng cigars and cigarettes ins company with ladies In public places, driving with them in shirt sleeves, or jabbering in the jargon of a half drunk clown. But the women could change 1t if they cared 10.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
WILL CAUSE TROUBLE.

The Georgia Legislature which has just adjourned passed one law which is going to make those whose duty 1t is to see that laws arc carried into effect scratch their heads many times and oft. provided they try to enforce 1t, which we somewhat doubt. It is law making "dfunxenness on the highway a misdemeanor."
 The trouble with that law lies in the application of it. What rule can be laid down under which an officer can decide when @ man as drunk? One of the best definitions of the word that we find in the books is overcome. supplied or frenzied with intoxicating liquorr If they adopt tbat definition they will have no right to arrest man unless he Is drunk and down." as the police courts have it. If he is able to wobble along the road and isn't boisterous he might escape. But if they leave each officer and each magistrate to decide we suspect that there will be a good deal of mixed law in Georgia. Possibly a Georgian always gets so drunk when he sets about 1t that there can be no ques- tion of condition, or doubt as to his be- ing a violator of the law.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
Wbat State Papers
 lire Saying
A Wonderful statistician.

Figures can be made Lo do some won- derful things and tell some wonderful tales. Strange and uhaxpectsi things are often revealed by them Some times the statietician works out results that are discouraging and sometimes his averages and comparisons reveal facts which are encouraging. Of the latter class Is the result reached by an investigator recently. He claims that his figures prove that the Ameriean people are using less whiskcy now than
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
Better Care of Cotton.

Some people have no hesitancy in sold as soon as ginned that it ought to be stored in the seed. We guess there is something in this We do know that this year the people can not afford to store cotton on the ground, or store it damp, or treat 1t in any ex- cept the most careful manner without encountering a fearful loss in stained, rotten and low grade cotton.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
Give Him the Job.

New York Post.
 The omuIscience and omnipotence of President Roosevelt mark him, in the eyes of an ladmirer, for the holiday task of reforming the English language. Our Chief Magistrate can, we are confident, settle within day or two the dispute sound policies on tariff revision. Chi- nese immigration. and Federal regula- tion of railway rates and the insurance business. Then until Congress meets, he can devote his whole time to his long-suffering mother-tongue. Spell ing is according to an eager corres- first point for the Presidents attack. Spelling Is a matter of memory purely and simple. In which not only ronsise tencY Is totally lacking, but in which is forced upon the abused brain of the growing child" Let us therefore sum mon to our aid a model of consistent thought and action. Would It be un- 'to appoint government committee for the Improvement of our written lan- guage?" Then. fearing that the ''poit- ticians in Congress" would be apathet,,. he adds: Would. indeed, law passed by Congress be at all necessary? IL would seem, since we have at present in the Presidential chair a man not on iy of strong literary inclinations. hut who at the same ime possesses the backbone and makeup of the warrior in a good cause, that the moment Is now especially favorable for an agita- ton" Uncle Joe Cannon would, we bmistrust, draw the line at law; the English language as 1t Is Is good enough for him and Illinois: our only recourse therefore Is Presidential ini- tiative. That is enough, and more. too When the word goes forth from Oyster Bay we shall cheerfullY take up the aboiishing the distinkshun between shal and will.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
Uncle Sanl's Employees TnaL aRna NaWR

is demanding more than ever of the men who work for him, and that Is that they keep from liquor drinking and gambling. Unless we are mistaken. he Is in behind every postmaster and every rural carrier in the country. and if any of his hands have been drinking before or after work hours. or carrying a bottle of liquor on the road. or shoot ing craps or doing other forms of gam bling, they had better take the hint now and cut the habits out. It is either to do that or lose your job.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
A Good Sentiment.
EnsleY Herald.

Ensley Herald.
 There has been some talk of curtail- ing the school year to seven months, because by the action of the county superintendent of education our feve- nues have been decreased If 'he courts sustain him, Ensley must raise the necessary revenue in ,omo other way. Let us have nine months of school at any cost.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22

O., Oregon, "my health was very popr. n had been troubled for about eight yeais with female disease doetored with good physicians but obtained no relief, so wrote to the Worlds Dis pensary Medical Association, and was advised to take Dr. Pierce's Pavorite Prescription and Golden Medical Discovery I did O. and stn happy to say my health began to improve and did my work up to the last, and felt splendid.
 "I got along finely during confinement, and have the heaifhiest baby I eyer saw. When he was three months old he weighed eighteen pounds: he Is now seven months old and weighs twsnty-fQur pounds. can say have had~no return of my old troubles. thank ycu very much for the good you have done me-"
 Any woman may write to Dr. R. V. Pierce, of Buffalo, N. Y., a statement of her case, which will be considered in ab- solute confidence by this physician who stands among the foremost specialists of the century in the treatment of women's diseases. He will send her (fn plain, sealed enveiope) sound, sensible, valua- ble advice free of ali charge.
 Dr. Pierce's great thousand-page, ill., frustrated Common Sense Medical Ad- wiser will be sent free, paper-bound, for 2I one-cerst stamps, to pay the cost of mailing only, or cloth bound for 3x stampa.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
Beer Instead of whi.Ixey.
Huntsville Mercury.

IIuHIbVIIIV MBICUTy.
 The health authorities in reporting a material decrease in the death rate from nervous diseases in New York state that it is because the people are drinking less whiskey. It Is a fact that has been reported from more than one quarter that beer is rapidly becoming the favorite of the tipplers
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22

The latest gossip about John D. Rockefeller is that he goes out each morning before sunrise and paddles about in the dewy grass barefoot. We don't know whether he is trying to sprout a new crop of naIr or a better stomach. He is said to be very short on both those accessories.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
The Best of Evidence. Ir..s. As..kHaA Aa..

A number of Alabama counties ar talking seriously of better public high ways. This Is the best evidence that these counties are dreaming of increas- ed prosperity and improved social con ditions. to which improved public high ways surely lead.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
Probate Notice.

The State of Alabama. Montgomery Coun- ty Probate Court August 7th, 1905. To Leroy s. Boultier. who resides in Boston. Massa oh usetts:
 You will take notice that the 7th day of August. 1905. a. certain paper, in writ lament of L. K Boultier was filed in tho Probate Court of this County by R. May Griffin and herewith her application for the probate thereof as such will; and that the 2sth day of August. 1905. was appointed a day for hearing said application. at which time you may appear and contest the same. Given under my hand this 7th day of August. 1905.
 J. B. GASTON tu-3t Judge of Probate.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
It is Dangerous,
Opelika Post.

A highly esteemed contemporary is advertising a coming ar.i.le on .fIow to Make Money at Home" A great many gentlemen have plungsl them selves Into rather serious difficui..cs by doing that same thing.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
AAaEA~A-

Dentist (oxamining patients teeth)-- An, here's a good opportunity for me to fix you up some nice gold fllings--
 Farmer Corntassel-Naw-go ding ye--naw-I read tn papers; ye don't sell me no gold brick!
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22

When the astronomers can't get up sensation in any other way they poke around in the atmosphere and find another moon for Jupiter. Ac- cording to the star-gazers the old planet has just matched out the sev- enth specimen. or they have just found it, which is about the same thing.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22

Seems to us that the man who wants to make successful flying machine should cover 1t all over with bank bills. Most people find 1t easy to make money fly.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22

Lady-Where's that shiftless partner of yours who was with you last year in Jail?
 Weary-O no, loidy; you do him an in1ustice-he's merely temporarily de- tained in de hospital for kleptomaniacs
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
Not So Bad us That.

:
 Some people think Cullman doesn't need school building anyway. As the town has never had anything above a blacksmith shop for the school chill dren, it might make some of the old moss backs dizzy to look at a modern school house like other towns have built. :.. =.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
Grafter Better Than Calamity HowIer. rStA,, npAfaoG

The day of the calamity howler' has passed In his stead we have the Hgrafter" We believe the latter class is less harmful to our general welfare than the former. The grafter here and there gets in his work and mak .s a small haul. but the calamity howler Is a disturber of the general peace and happiness of the country.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
MRS. DODGE DEAD.
atIngulshed Woman Editor Of st
 NichOInH Passed Away.

Nicholas Passed Away.
 New York, Aug. 21.-Mrs. Mary Mapes Dodge, poetess, editor of St, Nicholas Magazine, and author of several stories for children, died at her summer cot tage in Onteora Park. Tannersville, N. Y. today.
 Mrs. Dodge had been in i'll health for several months but recovered sufficient ly about two months ago to go to On- teora Park She had been editor of st. Nicholas since It's founding in 1878.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
A Fssher,n rnucx.

The moon, a silver hook. hangs in the
 skies Trying to catch the star-fish as they play. A cloud, for bait, wormlike, impanelled, lies In the mysterious river Milky Way.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
Cauae far Uxc,temaut.

What's going on over in the corner there--a fight?
 O no--that's a crowd of deaf mutes trying to play Pit"
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22

That was hard on the Pittsburg heiress to be disinherited for marry ing a lawyer. Many girls do even worse than that.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
Truth os tha NTatt.r :.

Tired Tim--Say, pard, what's Rocke- feller walkin' out dere takin' de KneIn cure fer? Weary Willie-He thinks de water on de grass Is some coal oil dat de stan dard oil Company overlooked.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
On the EIeYnseli. 1.

who Is standing on her dress)-You are on my train.
 Old Gent-The pleasure is ali mine. madam--sorry have to get off at next station.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22

When you feel any doubts about a mosquito kill him. That's the only absolutely safe plan, And we doubt all of 'em.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
Darius Green,

Here lies Darius Green, ~ Who once made a flying macheen:
 With a sickening thud
 It stuck in the mud But. he's flying up wonder ween!
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-22
Those nCOrnn.n
An l1nasHlf.

What size foot have you? O about six achcrs-this morning.