davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-11-16
The Preacher Got His Coat.

This lively account of n social fuhc-
tlon at Pawpaw, Mo, comes from a
local paper: The ladies Of the Meth
Odist Episcopal church had fine time
ct Mrs. Sinks house. which was nice
thing in every way. 1t was an ice
cream sociable to buy the pastor an
ovcrcoat, SO that he may plOd along
this winter without freezing his weary
bones. The ladies' served the cream,
but Deacon Daley was in charge. BE
hoggish. folks he called now and
then. Eat all you can crowd in. SOS
the preacher can be warm this win
tor Many young fellows brought
their girls. and one did even worse
than that BY fetching a complete jag
to the festival. His name shall not
be mentioned, as he spent 80 cents for
ice cream, eating 1t all fervently. and
we bet 1t didn't 60 we'll with that
booze. But what matter? Seven dol
lars and ninety cents was realized
from the ARRAY. enough to buy Preach.
or Hicks fine coat and leave $3.50
for socks and other things"
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-11-16
A Poser.

"1h..., my son; that will do for this
time" sternly interrupted the long suf-
fering parent. II don't know who was
the first man to invent wrestling nor
how many mickles make a muckle nor
how many is many nor how few is
few nor how a sailor smokes his horn
pipe nor why Good Friday never comes
on Tuesday nor why rabbits can't add,
subtract and divide as well az multi
ply, nor why an owl should boot and
not howl nor the answer TO any one Of
the many other foolish questions that
your abnormally developed bump Of in
quisitiveness incites you to PROFOUND"
YES but. father, don't want to ask
any silly questions. This is a most i'm
portant one. Please, do you think
when stout man is self contained he
has more room inside of himself to
contain himself in than a thin man
has or il himself so big that he is Just
as tightly crowded inside Of himself as
the thin man is and how much of him
self is it that is self contained and how
much is on the outside doing the con.
tanning. and
"Clarence. 90 to bed this instant"
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-11-16
The PhonoRra PHI In the Moon.

Cyrano de Rergerac in his "IIistoire
Coirique des Etats ct Empires de la
Lune' whose first edition is dated as
early as 1860. relates that the genius
that guided him to our satellite gave
him for his entertainment some Of the
books Of the country. These books are
inclOsed in boxes. "On opening the box
I found inside a concern Of metal, some.
thing like one Of our watches. full Of
curious little springs and minute ma
chnery. 1t was really book. but a
wonderful book that has no leaves or
letters. book for the understanding of
which the eyes are Of no use-Only the
ears are necessary. When any one
wishes to read he winds up the ma
chine. with its great number Of nerves
Of all kinds. and turns the pointer to the
chapter he wishes to hear, when there
comes out, as II from the mouth Of a
man or Of an instrument Of music. the
distinct and various sounds which
serve the great Lunarians as the ex.
preston OF language"
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-11-16
A PAIR OF RUBBERS.
Wear Them During ThWnaerstesma
II You Fear LightninG.

The one thing which q woman most
Notwithstanding, Of course, mouse
and being out OF styles a thunder
shower Many most estimable wo-
men of character and force who can
lead great crusades and revolutionize
society go all to pieces at clmD of
thunder. and a good many men, too.
for that matter.
It Is not agreeable to be struck by
lightning. Nor is 1t at all necessary.
There is sure preventive--as sure rs
1t is simple, inexpensive and always
accessible-a pair OF rubbers n a wo-
man will simply put on pair Of rub
bers when the lightning begins to fash
and the thunder to roar and will stand
on the floor so that she touches moth.
ing else she will be az safe as IL she
were sealed in q glass cage.
Rubber Is n nOncOnductor Of cleo
tricity. and II the lightning has TO 60
through sheet of rubber to get mt you
ii will leave you alone and take some
thing else. In other words, when you
have on a pair of rubbers and are not
in contact with anything You are per-
fectly insulated
This is not theory merely. 1t is a
fact proved by Vulnerable expert
enccs. 4 pair of rubbers has saved
many a life In a thunderstorm
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-11-16
TRAFALGAR.
The Svviftness Of Action of This Great
Naval Battle.


Naval Battle.
The world will see other sea fights,
but pever one like this, so close, so
swift and with so much in it of the
personal element And what may be
called the pace of the battle, the swift
ness with which incident follows Incl.
dent. is almost without a parallel in
the history Of war The first gun was
fired at 1915; at 12:22, or only seven
minutes after the French guns opened
on him. Collingwood. with the British
ships nearest to him, was through the
enemy's line.
Only one brief minute later or at
1928 by the log Of the Euryalus, Mel.
son is in the fight. and is pouring his
first dreadful broadside into the stern
of Villeneuve's flagship. Two minutes
later the French and Spanish topmasts
begin to fall AT ] 80. or sixty-seven
minutes after the first gun was fired.
Blackwood reports the center and rear
of enemy's line to be hard pressed in
action" The fate OF the battle is prac-
tically settled. Already some Of the
euemys ships have struck The swift
moments run on. and the pulses Of the
great fight keep time with them. The
advantage is not all on one side.
At 2:36, for example, or less than two
hours from the moment when. a shape
of majestic pride, the Royal Sovereign
moved into the zone OF the enemy's
fire. she lies mastless and helpless
hulk. She has done her work. but she
has paid terrible price for it. There
Is at this moment futter of flags on
the masthead Of the Victory. for Mel
son has Il great captains watchful
vision. and frigate-it Is the Euryalus
comes down with every inch of can
vas set. cropping her way through the
smoke. to take the battered hull Of the
Royal Sovereign In tow. so that her
broadsidcs-the mighty ship can still
fight though she cannot sail-bear upon
the enemy's ships within her reach.
This Is not a battle spread through
days. 1t Is compressed almost into
minutes. The first shot was fred Mt
1915; before 3 o'clock flag after flag IL
going down: great feet is crumbling
into ruin. by $40 o'clock all ia over
Cornhill Magazine
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-11-16
THE FLYING FROG.


Its Tropical Africa.
The curiosity Of tropical Africa Ia the
wonderful flying frog, first described
by Blshotf of the equatorial African
expedition. which returned to Europe
In the fail Of 1894. This oddly of the
reptile family Is about the size of Il
common bullfrog and resembles other
members Of the order Of batrachians
In everything but It's feet. each Of
which Is webbed and enormously en-
larged, 80 much so as TO form splendid
substitutes for true wings. The crea-
ture has Ave toes on each Of the other
two, which makes four separate mem.
branes OIL each of his hind feet and
three on each fore foot, or fourteen in
ell. In his description Of It Bishoff
says, Each leg terminates in sort Of
fan, and with these the little reptile
paddles the air like n locust or like a
partially fedged bird testing its pin.
ions for the first time"
Although somewhat awkward in its
flight, the winged frog can dart through
the air at speed of about ten yards
per second and can keep itself going
forward at that rate for from ten 10
fifteen seconds. The average distance
covered by these spurts of grasshoppcr-
like flight Is from IS to 1913 yards, hut
Bishoff mentions instances where the
flying frog cleared sandy stretches 200
yards in width.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-11-16
WORKERS whe Walk Tipto~

Three good looking workmen passed
down the long length Of the art gallery
on tiptoe. much to the wonderment of
the observer. "Why do they walk like
that" lie asked.
Those men are stained glass work
ers imported from Paris for my new
stained glass department" said the
proprietor, land they walk on tiptoe
because they have worked so much in
churches and cathedrals that the gait
has become habitual with them. Prac.
tically all their working hours have
been spent In the repairing OF the mag
nlhcent old painted windows OF the
churches in Europe. These churches
are always open. since services are al
ways going on In them. Work must be
conducted quietly, and all walking
must DO done on the toes. SO these
artists whenever they enter "a spacious
and quiet place like this gallery OF
mine rise up on their toes involuntarily
from subconscious notion that they
are In church. New York Press.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-11-16
THE HOMER OF PORTUGAL
CamOens. the Gifted and Unfortunate
Author Of "The Lusiad."

SdWOcuSs tne ultte0 anu NnIOFtunavc
Author Of "Thc Lusiad.''
1.-The l.usiad" is one of tho noblest
records ever written Of national glory
and success Camoens. its gifted au-
thor. determined to do for Portugal
what Homer had done for Greece. The
great poem was written in the six
teenth century which has been called
the heroic nge Of Portugal. and it's
main feature is the rounding Of the
Cape of Good Hope by Vasco da Cana,
while u most interesting episode il the
browning after death of 1hez de Cas-
tro as queen of Portugal THE I.u.
siad" took its name from Lusius. who
was said to have founded Lisbon.
Its author was born about 1920, and
his career. which began brilliantly. was
blighted by the death of a broken heart
Of the lady Of his love. for whose sake
lie was banished from the land. He
wrote "The Lusiad" In his Danish.
ment and was recalled in 1871. losing
on the way all his property except
his poem. Pensioned at first by the
king. this great epic poet Of Portugal
died In great poverty in 1870, when his
patron was also dead.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-11-16
MADE TO ORDER BEAUTY.
Artincial Noses, Mouth Formers and
Dimp1e Denters.

Artificial Noses, Mouth Formers and
Dimple Denters.
The best artificial noses nowadays
are made Of papier mache, enameled.
Such a nose ia fastened to a spectacle
frame sometimes for the sake Of con-
venience and thus may be put on or re.
moved at brief notice.
There Is patented contrivance,
somewhat resembling a clothespin, for
attachment to the nose to give to the
organ a proper taper. Another device
is supposed to improve the lines of
the mouth.
Not few people have no roofs to
their mouths. having been born with
out any. or in other cases having lost
them by disease. For such unfortu-
mates artificial mouth roofs made of
galvanized rubber are furnished
There is~ patented device for clean.
ing the tongue. consisting Of knife
with concave edge to which a sort Of
sponge brush is attached When one
is not well ones tongue is liable to be
disagreeably coated, but the annoy
ance may be removed by means Of the
instrument described.
II you desire dlmples you may wear
certain kind Of wire mask at night
to which are attached blunt wooden
points that may be caused by the help
of screws to press upon the points
where the dimples are wanted Thus
after awhile the dimples are made to
annenr
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-11-16
STARS FOR vOYAoERs.
Nine ussA ~ Navisatars 60 Place Q
Ship's location.

There are nine eminent nautical
stars considered by navigators. They
are important Ms determining the 20.
sition Of the ship at the time the OBJ
srrvation Is taken. calculated by their
distance from the moon. The stars ara
Alpha, Arietfs, the principal star Of
Aries, but Of the second grade; Aide
bnran, first magnitude. in the rich as
terision Of Taurue. easily distinguished
by its rod color; Pollux. second magni.
tude in Gemini, readily known by its
companlonship with the brighter Cas-
tor: Rcgulus. first class star in tho
breast of Leo (hence often called Cor
Leonis. the Lions Heart; Spica vir'
gnis. a first class star in Virgo. re-
markably conspicuous from being in,
suated in dark surrounding field,
Alpha AquiIae, generally known as
Affair first magnitude; Alpha Pcgasi,
second class. usually termed Narkab;
Antares. first magnitude, in ScorpiO,
distinguished by its fiery red color;
Fomalhaut. first class. In Piscis Aus.
trails. These stars are conveniently
situated with reference to the moons
path and are used for taking tables OF
lunar distances by makers Of nautical
almanacs in order TO enable vesse
masters to deduct their longitude. Tn,
distances of the center of the moon
from some of the nine conspicuou,
stars near the ecliptc are computed
with the utmost care for every three
hours during the year at Greenwich
finds his position by marking when
such lunar distance. set down &C
curately in the almanac for the dny
and hour. occurs. as seen from his owl
vessel. and deduces thereby his where
nbouts on the watery waste.-Milwav
kee Free Press.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-11-16

On the English coast. at Lands End,
there stands curiously formed bowl
der with profile resembling that of
human face. 1t is supposed that once
the rocky head was held proudly erect
and could look out over the blue sea.
but during some period OF disturbance
the huge bowlder was thrown forward,
so that now the forehead of the man
rests against neighboring rock. All
these rugged and massive pieces bor-
dering the coast are fine granite Lo-
cally the curious bOwlder is known "a
DR.. SyntaX.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-11-16
No Middle Ground,

The proprietor Of the dry goods store
had proposed To the milliner who
owned the establishment across the
way.
But. Mr.. Wrappemup," she said.
"I'm not sure that like you we'll
enough to marry you. Let us be mere
ly friends, as heretofore"
1--WE can't. Miss Wribbens," he an.
swered through his set teeth. There
IL no friendship In trnde. You will like
me well enough to marry me or I'll add
a millinery department TO my stockr'-
Chicago Tribune.
The First Word.
But" said the Judge, you provoked
the fight"
mo. OF didn't" replied the prisoner.
But you struck the first blow. Why
did you do that!"
"Bekase he said TO me, IT Orm wan,
ye're another ind so ! soaked him.
Philadelphia Press
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-11-16
A Hum bic ArchbisllO y.

Willegis. famous archbishop of
Mentz. rose to that elevated position
from the very lowest ranks. lie was
the son Of Il poor carter, but was never
ashamed Of his parentage. lie not only
caused the following inscription to be
placed conspicuOusly In his palace,
"Willegis. remember thy parentage,"
but had the wheels Of cart hung up
in the Cathedral Of Mentz. From that
time to this the arms Of the see have
borne the figure Of a cart wheel.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-11-16
Early Bargain Sales,

There were bargain sales even wncn
this country was in its early youth.
but most Of the bargains offered were
choice lots of slaves to be disposed Of
at the old slave mart that stood Mt the
foot Of Wall street In the New York
Gazette OF Dec. "a, 1867. one of the
large slave holders makes this an
nOuncement:
German Slaves For Snle.--To be dis
posed OF, three German servants. one a
baker by trade. one a butcher and the
other a laborer. They are industrious.
good men. whose honesty has been tried.
and they may be had on reasona BILE
terms. Inquire of the printer hereof.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-11-16
The Word "COyey,"

Long custom has practically limited
the word "covey" to association with
the partridge, although it has always
been used with grouse and ptarmigan.
Beaumont and Fletcher. however,
spoke of "covey Of fiddlers" and Thack-
cray Of "covey Of trumps." The word
means properly brood, Matching. COM
ing through the French "couver" to sit
(of hen bird. from the Latin ecu.
bare" to recllne, whence 'incubate"
also sprung
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-11-16

daughters always been willing to sacri-
flce themselves for YOU? 'Tis true per
hups they have not had to sacrifice the
love of some young man. as the heroine
Of this story have told you had to do.
But IN every way have not YOUR sweet
faced daughters been willing to sacri-
fee for you: Why, for years their
lives have been spent in trying to
please you. Let us beware that MS we
grow older we do not. as some parents,
become more and more selfish When
our girls want to go with young folks
do not shut them up as in nunnery,
and when the time comes for them to
mate, il that time does come, in God 3
good way let us be willing to let an
other step in and share that love. as
the mothers of Our wives were willing
that their daughters should give us
their love. All, yes. we have had good
mothers. good wives. good sisters and,
thank God, good daughters.
But cannot close without mention.
ing one other bearer of the alabaster
box who has come into your life. She
may have been an aunt or grand
mother or, as it was with me, a dear.
afrectonate Christian woman about
sixty years of age. In all probability
she came to you in crisis You may
may have gone to her for spiritual or
material help. and she never failed you
Cannot You see her now? l can.
can remember lust how she looked
when l first met her, She was the
saint Of my Chicago church. She was
one who always lived to do good
When sickness came into our home she
was always there. Our babies were
her babies. our troubles were her trOu-
bles. our Joys We're her Joys. 1t was q
dark, stormy day. the Good Friday be-
fore Easter Of 1902. that | last saw
her had been east visiting my sick
father. She came down TO welcome me
home. She was always thinking Of
others. never about herself. 1t was q
biting. tempestuous day, aud she
caught cold. Pneumonia stabbed her
lungs. In one week she was dead, and
in two weeks my fnther was dead. 1t
seemed MS though the sorrow OF our
home was too great to bear. And yet
today, as the memories of those patient,
loving Christian women arise before
u.s. where do they lead us? Where are
I they pleading for us 10 90: They have
given to us the best they have. Have
they not done all this to lead us to that
place where we may at last meet and
where we shall never part again?
Son. husband. brother. father. friend.
thy loved ones are breaking their ala
bastcr boxes of ointment of spikenard
very precious over you in the presence
Of Jesus, their King viii you not look
up and greet their Saviour as your
master? Heaven will never be a per-
feet heaven to them unless they shall
meet you there. Will you let their sac
rifices lead you to Christ, that in his
presence you may dwell with them for
ever? Aye. their nlahaster boxes OF
ointment of spilicnard very precious
would not he too costly If by that sac
rifice they could win your immortal
souls for eternal companionship in
heaven. Truly they have done for us
all they could 10 bring about that glo-
riOus consummation.
Copyright, 1905, by Louis Klopsch.l
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-11-16

The witty George Canning. illustrat.
ing the Hibernian tendency when ex-
cited to hurry beyond the limits Of
good sense. tells this anecdote:
An Irish divine, preaching against
the vice Of swearing and denouncing
its prevalence in certain town. said
In the height of defamation:
Even the little children that can
neither speak nor walk run about the
streets disappearing"
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-11-16
HaY Coarae LauRh.

Gcorge-You are not calling on Miss
Rosebud any more, Ell? Jack-No; I
got disguised. She has such a coarse
laugh. George-I never noticed that.
Jack-You would IL you'd been within
hearing when l proposed to her-New
York Weekly.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-11-16
Trouble Ahead.

Mr.. JOax-Saw a man today who had
trouble ahead Of him. Mrs. Joax-How
did you know? Mr. Joax-He was
pushing a baby carriage containing
twins. Washington Star
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-11-16
Setting Him RIGHT.

Father-Why. when was your age
I didn't have as much money in a
month as you spend in day. Son
Well, father don't scold mo about it,
Why don't you talk to grandfather:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-11-16
Just the Reverse.

Mrs Naggs-I understand your hus'
band Is unable to meet his creditors
Mrs. Waggs-DOn't you believe It. He
can and does meet them much oftener
than he cares to-
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-11-16
A Reco IN, men dalton.

Prospective Guest-Do you set good
table here? Hotel Clerk-Well. rather.
Why. folks come here perfectly healthy
and 60 away with tho govt and dys-
pepsia.-I.ife.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-11-16

Falsehood has an inAnity of com.
binations. hut truth has only ono mode
OF being.-R0usseau
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-11-16

II dream my Stories" said Hicks. the
author.
"How you must dread going to bedw
exclaimed Cynicus.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-11-16
Why She Did Not Marry,


DO you see that sad faced young wo.
man with the gray hairs just appear.
ing amid her brown locks? Who Is she =?
Miss So-and-so." you answer. "Why
did she not marry?' "Oh, l guess be-
cause she did not wish to marry" you
answer. Oh, yes, she did want TO mar
~. She does not want to marry now
because her heart is broken. Many
years ago young man mot her and
laid Siege 10 her heart. She gave to
him the warm affections of her youth.
You think she has a sweet face now.
Aye, she was beautiful then. Her
cheeks were rs red as tho roses. Her
eyes We're as blue as the sky. Her
laugh was as the merry chimes Of the
village bells. The young man wanted
the wedding set at once. Her father
was taken sick. He could not find en-
ploymcnt. This young girl said mo, l
cannot marry now. must stay home
and help to keep the home for my par
ents and the children" He pleaded,
but she firmly COMPRISED her lips and
said: Not now. Wait for me a few
years and am yours" lie would not
wait Within two years he stood ut the
marriage altar but not with her. Mrs.
Grundy" talked for few days about
broken engagement, but she said
nothing. No one saw her weep. She
never mplained-that is. as far as
any one else has known. Whether she
wept In her room at night behind the
closed door we know not She broke
her alabaster box Of ointment Of spike
nard very precious upon her IA
theirs and mothers heads. She sacri-
feed her own life for her parents lives
Fathers aud mothers, have not our