The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-06-30
SHE HAD THE PROOF.

SHE HAD THE PROOF.
Washington Star: When little Mrs
Mercyonnus returned to Washington
from her honeymoon she lost no tim
in hurrying around to the home sol
an old married woman friend for ad-
vice and consolation. The old married
woman friend, that is to say, was all
OF twenty-three years Of age, n she
had been married for fully half a year
Little Mrs. Mercyccnus looked very
nervous and perturbed.
What in the name Of land sakes
alive ails you?" OF course inquired the
old married woman friend and girlhood
pa when she saw h distressed state
OF. little Mrs. Mercyonnus. You are
looking dreadful. What ia it?"
Well. I guess you would look dread
tul too, II your husband made such a
terrible uproar in his sleep that you
couldn't sleep for Ave or six nights
running" replied little Mrs. Mercyon-
nus. poutingly.
"Oh. ybu mean that the Door man
snores?" inquired the old married wom-
an frte-S sympathetically, yet with a
broad smile.
Well. I suppose that is what it is
called; but snoring seems too mild a
term to denominate the-the-the
sounds hat Jack Makes" said Mrs
Mercyonnus.
But" sagely asked the old married
woman friend, why in pities' sakes
don't you turn him over when he shores
so that you can't sleep?"
Turn him over" repeated Mrs. Mer-
cyonnus, mystif1edly. Nov, what on
earth can the woman mean? Turn
him over! That sounds as if he We're a
hlip-Or-OP methipr
Neutrality-suspicious. exactly
what I mean, and nothing else,' inn
pressively replied the old married
woman Of all of a half a years expert
ence with a husband creature.
But. dear me" hopelessly remarked
creature weighs 200 pounds. How in
the wide world would I be able to turn
him over?"
ooh, o don't have to literally lift
him up and turn him over" remarked
the settled married oma Of twenty
All you've got to do is to give him a lit
tie poke.or shake, you know-just suf-
acient to half awaken him-and tell
him to turn over, and he'll do it with
out coming to his senses at all. Hus-
bands get to do that quite automati-
that way. But you'd better begin
training him that way immediately"
But I dom want to wake Jack up,
poking or shaking him." argued Mrs.
Mercyonnus. He says that when nee
he wakes up at night it's so hard for
him to get to sleep again"
Now, you do as l tell you," peremp-
torily commanded the old married
woman. II know what I'm about. j
had the same trouble with Edward.
But now I have merely to touch him
on the shoulder when he's snoring-and
aho dnaSe Srnro foo noth ipr n roo 1f,11
although he denies it strenuously-and
he turns right over on his side like a
lamb, without ver waking up. And
men cantor, anyhow, they don't
snore when they're laying OF their
sides. It's only When they're lyingson
their backs, the poor helplessly old
things, that they snore."
Mrs. 4lercyonnus decided to put the
lesson to the test that very night, pro-
vided, Of course, her husband again
ysnored hard enough to keep her awake.
He did snore hard enough to keep
one elbow and nceiced by the dim re-
Election Of the electric light shining
through the window. that he was
ysprawled out on the Hat of his back.
So she reached u a very soft and
gentle hand and touched him on the
turn over. 1t didn't happen. He went
right on snoring harder than ever.
She touched him on the shoulder
again, this time placing her lips close
to his ear n murmuring, Jack"
Nothing doing. Jack was running the
and he was running 1t for keeps.
I'D just like to know what Minnie
meant by telling me such nonsense"
murmured little Mrs. Mercyonnus to
herself. He has not even moved.
Turn hin over I might just as we'll
$780, - ,Srr, 49, -, r-.1.Vty
And she gave him a little harder shake
on the shoulder this time, and placed
her lips still closer to his ear. The
only noticeable effect was that he
struck a knot OF Hgnum vitae hardness
and resistance that Mrs. Mercyonnus
actually fancied that the dishes in the
pantry ratified with the sound.
However she was there to try out
that turn-him-over thing to it's final
issue, and h gave him another prod
and shake. This time he struck half
a dozen big knots in a bunch. Then he
throat. opened his eyes, and grunted-
but he didn't turn over SO that any
body could really notice it.
What Is it," he inquired, hoarsely
and drowsily. What the dickens Is
idea Of not fully awakening him,
you're snoring dr%eadfully. deed you
are-dreadfullyl / can't sleep a wink"
Huh? Me snore2 Aw. cut 1t out;
FORGET It." grunted the unturnable. one.
Never snored In my life. Sure thing.
Dunno how. Would wob-ug.-glick-er-
Iheu-" and then he gurgled himself
into a still profounder snoring slumber.
But he hadn't turned over any,
Jack" resolutely whispered little
Mrs. Mercyonnus. giving him another
shake. with the idea Of mailing him
before he got too far away into
dreamland. won't you pul-leeze-just
to lot me sleep oh such a teenchy lit
tie bit-won't you pul-leeze turn over
like a good old thing7'
This time he arrived at something
like genuine consciousness. He rolled
owe. on his side In an slephantine sort
OF way. grumbiing something about i
deuce OF 9 racket. and wonder mar