New-York tribune., 1905-06-18
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Several tins of paint were found among the lug
gage of Engshman who was travelling to
Monaco last month. He was in charge OF rag
ing craft and intended to the pigment to
touch up the vessel after its long railway Journey
The French customs officials, however, took ex-
ception to the paint on the ground that it con-
tanned dutiable spirit whereupon the traveller
argued that he intended bringing 1t back on leay-
ing the country. Asked how he going to bring
1t back he replied: "On the sides of the boat"
Even this plea did not suffice. the authorities argu-
irg that the spirit would have evaporated
'I could never understand" said the quiet citi-
zen, what is the attraction in automobiling ~
the bandaEed head ITS the attraction Of gravita-
ion."-(Philadelphia Ledger.
A mocking bird flew into a church in Hagers
town, Nd. recent Sunday during services.
1t lit the edge of the Bible from which the
preacher was reading He gently waved it off.
and it few down to the edge OF the pulpit and
came back and stood the text. The reverend
gentleman read, though, and the bird flew to the
top of the organ and sat awhile, and then came
back and perched right the preacher until
he was through his sermon. 1t seemed very
attentive When the organ opened it few to that
and enjoyed the music, and finally, after COM
prehensive flight the congregation, turned
to the chandelier There 1t when the con-
gregation went out.
THE sHEARING.
The day they cut the babys hair
The house was all hdEet
Such fuss they made you would have said
He was a king-the midget
- Some wanted this some wanted that;
Some thought that 1t was dreadful
To lay hand upon one strand
OF all that precious headful.
While others said to leave his curls
Would be the height of folly,
Unless they put him with the girls
And called him Sue or Molly
; The BARRIERS shears went ,snip-a-snip.
The golden fluff was flying;
Grandmother had a trembling lip
And aunt almost crying.
The men folks said, Why. hello, Boss.
You're looking five years oider!"
But mother laid the shaven head
Close, close against her shoulder
All well; the nest must lose its birds.
Time will not stay a single day
For any pleaders pleasure @
And when that hours work was weighed.
The scales were even, maybe;
For father gained little man
Nancy Byrd Turner, in st. Nicholas
The decline in the demand for hemlock bark
and increase in the demand for the timber has
changed numbering operations in Maine. Bark at
present prices brings but s6 cord. and is handled
only under the most favorable conditions. Hem
lock lumber has advanced from $3.50 to sn
thousand feet Once the logs were left in the
woods worthless, but now the bark is left
instead
SETTLED CONVICTIONS
lin an article Daily Chronicle entitled ''Tea
Drunkenness" DE- John H Clarke says: Persons addict
the & tea i habua In ONE case q this kind the v
tim actually developed delirium 1t Is
country than alcoho-'l
Jean, wumman, frae my earliest day
/ aye misdooted tea.
To change my thocht-
The for me:
A kind @ instinct seemed to say
Man, Tam, beware
An hae care!
There's deth within yon teapot"
But things changin' moo:
In Lunnon toun
They're comm roun
To TAX my verra view
Goo aanna adndr6sa nai 5siieS Wise x Is Sas Naiur
The psoned coop
An dnna spare the craytur!'
It's gey an il the tannin saiFves
Ye coddle on your knees;
There's Indigestion. temper, pairyes
An drunkenness an greetin's-
WHAT " n'.sH Sins 'is,1 ye drink,
My Jean. at mithers' meetins.
Yen soon be seen' rats nae doot:
But dnna wauken me
Al At 9eef deid !! p!'Ghs HIeht
To catch the beasts we
An dinna preach to me aboot
The doctors word
Henceforth I'm tea-teetottle.
punch
A Princeton (Aio) man took cruel revenge on
his sweetheart after a quarrel recently she haa
returned to him all the letters and gifts received
from him during their courtship He, not TO be
outdone her half dozen boxes OF face powder
and with them a note explaining that he had prob
ably carried that much away on his coat collar
No Room for Argument-''Drnk. remarked the
morallzer, ''shortens a mans days,
fright you are" rejoined the demoralzer fnc
longest day Of my life was spent In dry town.
-lCbicazo New1.