The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-21


M iaes 'a'e' ~ Chicago Chronicle.
/ HUMOR OF THE Day
Love" remarked the man who conn
ments on things, laughs at locksmitns
with inpunity. a.h.t,.
right. In fact, have always noticed tnas
1t will invariably make 1901 OF user
upon. the slightest provocation. '--Aaai"au-
There's fellow eternally making
"A would-be masher, eh?''
mo. he works in an artificial eye FAC
tory. New Orleans Times-Democrat
Gunner-Did you ever have a shaking
ague?
Gunner-How does it feel?
Guyer-Oh. just like riding in an auto
mobile, as far as the shaking is concerned
.'Jinx is very much more attentive to his
Yes, ne is fairly breaking his neck to
get her to name the day
Has she inherited a a fortune ntu ?. ,, her
attention. ''-Houston Post.
Doctor-Do you talk in your sleep?
Patient-No, talk in other peoples. L
am a OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Life
has happened to. Maggie's bathing suit?
She looks like fright.
Also a S. GDoesn't she? The careless
Leader Lead E0' = 90 80
Mrs. Malaprop-Did you hear about that
poor mans accident while Shawn? It was
an awful cats thrope.
Mrs. Browne Qaughing)-An awful
Mrs. MaIaprop-o, it's no laughin' mat
ter. He cut his ocular vein.-Philadelphia
Press.
According to the French proverb,' said
the bride of a week. what IS sown IN
Very well, my dear. ,rejoined the newly
o o~rt ear 9e for S
Have you ever been Kissed OF the
at having met a real actor.
s.Oh, no. he replied. When I'm of the
much as possible ''-Chicago Record-Her-
aid.
what is frenzied flnance?'
"Frenzied finance" replied the Wall
While bile we remain perfectly seif-possessed
and take the money.''-Washtngton Star
which you were formerly employed.
Pyker-Yes, three weeks ago. I'm in
Oq HTke {S5 WHAT are now you doing7
Pyker-Looking for another job.-Chtca-
go Daily News.
First Newsy-If dat guy. don't buy.
poiper, I'm goin' ter peach on i'm for
senond News HSeewsyIAw. gwan!T ink yer SELL
st Star. fao7 ana Al'''S nov '''--
Mrs. Popley-What do you think? Baby
spoke her first word today.
MT yaass before w sh be having the
st.-Philadelphia Ledger.
Hicks-what do you think of Miss Win
sons new photograph?
Wicks-WelI, the photographer certainly
is an artist.-Solnervilie Journal.
1.-THE baby always becomes perfectly
quiet when 1 sing to it., said the proud
yes, answered the mother, lit knows
that If it makes noise you will keep on
singing. '-Washington Star.
ed9 They're Mr.. and Mrs. Pyrrh Sim
most romantic affairs of the season.
| Mayme-why, she's as homeiy as tel
Mayme-I know it. and he's as poor as
a. church mouse. That's what made it so
romantic.-chicago Tribune.
Bangs has taken out a straight life in
surance policy
He is a very foolish :, man a,1a to insure g
How are you coming on with your new
system Of weather pr red on5a+ chser,,v
IT can always get the kind of weather all
right but I haven't quite, SUCCEEDED IN
hitting the dates exactly. washington
Star.
e.
ily coat of arms?
Miss Newrich-Yes.
Miss McCall-Whats the queer device in
Miss Newricf-w hy-er-that's pas trade
mark He insisted upon ringing that in.
Philadelphia Ledger.
Oldun-Persevere, my boy, persevere.
there's there's on aSd 1 that Tay Stick to it,
Young Man--But suppose your purpose is
to remove sheet OF ny paper snas yoINe
phia Press.
that the dogmatists have about had their
day. 1880 .,..
night You hardly ever see a lady carry
in one on her lap in the carriage now
Chicago Record-Herald.
J.adv-You don't want to cry because
you lost seven cents You might find it
Kid Kid-Aw. go on. 1 loosed dis in crap
game.-Judge.
IN Sweden a plumber is called vat
enleingsentrepenor
s.He is, Ell? I'll bet he charges for the
time while he is being called it, too
Chicago Record-Herald.
Shell wonder why it is that so many old
maids have fat bank accounts?
He-Probab1y. for lack of anything else.
they husband their resourees.-Town and
Country.
well" said D'Auber, whose master
piece had been rejected. II never realized
the truth of the old proverb until saw
this exhibit