davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10

the farmers received practically as
much for it in cash as they did for
the ord-breaking crop of 1903
Therefore it does not necessarily fol-
low that a comparatively small crop
of sixty-five or seventy million BUSH
els means less profit for the farmer.
It is rather difficult to estimate just
what the Kansas wheat crop will be,
in view of the varied reports from the
wheat belt It is not at all improb-
able that it will be around the rs
million bushel mark. Secretary
Coburn never attempts to make estf-
mates. He waits until the grain is
harvested and threshfng returns come
in, and then tells just what it is. Mr..
Coburn points out. however, that an
average of only I'll per cent. in Kan
sas does not mean that Kansas will
not continue to Guido all other states
IN the union in wheat raising. kan
sas viii still have a big crop, but not
as big as it would have been if con-
ditions had continued as they were
two months ago.
One particular feature of the re-
port published today is that the best
wheat is in the short grass country -
particularly in the northwest. Prac-
ticaIly the only counties reporting per-
feet conditions are close to the Colo
RADIO border or in the northwestern
part of the state. The big wheat
counties which give promise of per-
feet yields are Norton, Decatur, Raw
Inns. Thomas and Sheridan. Further
south along the western border of the
state conditions are just as good, but
the acreage rs not so large. The poor
est wheat is along the Oklahoma Dor
der Last year conditions were re-
versed. The territory with Kingman
county as a center produced the best
returns, while the northwest had only
half crop. This year the big crop
of two years ago will be repeated in
the northwestern counties
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10
JANA WKER JOTS

Wilson county is getting little use
out of its Jail. The jail is empty.
AT the Refinery" news is becoming
common in the oil belt papers now.
The street fair is out of fashion in
Kansas. They are called festivals
now.
Hutchinson will hold missionary
convention the coming week to even
up with the horse races the past week.
The second cutting of alfalfa from a
Mcpherson county field measured over
twenty-six inches, and it grew in nine
teen days That's pretty good
record.
A party of capitalists, headed by H.
D. Lee of Salina, is figuring on buying
the Dewey hotel at Eureka Lake near
Manhattan and still further improving
it for a summer resort.
1.-THE usual crop failure stories are
not being peddled very much at pres
emit says the Great Bend Item. The
usual crop failure stories are having a
hard time getting believed.
Ottawa has apoetess, but in spite of
her literary ability she sharpens her
pencil with a carving knife and cuts
the leaves of magazine with hair
pin just like other women.
Ottawa is figuring on an extension
to Forest Park to hold all the people
it expects to come to hear Tom Law
son. There are only a couple of hun
dred acres or SO in the park at present.
Joe Ganord. the new state account
ant. is a horticulturist. He not only
has a $2,500 plum by the grace of
Governor Hoch but he has also raised
a strawberry with a waist measure of
three and a half inches.
With George Hanna sandwiched be-
tween two such staunch Republicans
as Cal Morrow and J. E. Brewer in
the railroad business. it will be pretty
hard to keep him in the straight and
narrow POpuliSt WaY in the future
An Atchison farmer says the best
way to kill rats is to put some molasses
on some pieces of shingles, and then
put a little concentrated I've on that
and leave the shingles around handy
for the rats. Those that don't die will
| Leave
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Norway evidently believes in a
homemade government.
The Kansas City-Topeka electric
line is being built again-on paper.
The car is having more troubles at
present than jointist under the ad-
mlnlstration of the new preacher
mayor at Salina.
A bibulous individual was attending
one of the Gaskill shows. 1.-THE gen
tlemen will please remove their hats
and refrain from smoking" said the
lecturer" ''Firsht time I wash ev'r
called zhgentleman,' said the bibulous
individual. Here goes m hat, (hic)
n mere goezh a bran new shegar."
If Luther Burbank really wants to
do something important for the hui
man race, why doesn't he invent a
cucumber without any collie concealed
about its person, and an onion that is
breathless?
The pictures of the Togos have been
in all the. newspapers. but they still
have to run the gauntlet of the maya
zines.
The Red Rocks is a Topeka ball
team made up of nine-year-olds. AS
indicated by the name. the members
are all bricks.
Riding on the merry-go-round in
the Gaskill shows is a pretty good imi-
tation of riding on the Missouri Pacific,
except that the bumps are not as big
and the merry gO-round goes faster.
The other day a little ragged, dirty
faced urchin hattened his nose against
the screen door of barber shop.
Got a clock in here mist 2'5. he ISL
ed the head barber, in a tone that in
dicated that he wanted to know the
time of day. yes" replied the bar
Der without giving the information
really desired. The boy waited few
moments and then sided into the
room. He took a good long look at
the clock and then got back to the
door. Much obliged for letting me
look at your old clock" he said. And
the barber wilted.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

TFrom the Chicago News.1
It's easier not to want things than It
is to get them.
For every man that dies at least two
more are born
A fortune awaits the genius who viii
invent a BORROWERS umbrella.
The quickest way for a girl to get rid
of her ideal is to marry him.
II you are looking for trouble and
can't afford an automobile, buy a mule.
Speaking OF sure things. there Is, in
addition to death and taxes the rent
collector
A married man always has a hard
luck story on tap when his wife asks
him for money.
Every girl imagines she would be q
queen in society but for the fact that
she has more sense than beauty.
Some men go to war and bleed e1r
their country and some others stav At
home and bleed their country.
There are times when the still small
voice Of conscience sounds as If il had
been filtered through g megaphone.
No minister need hope to preach a
sermon that win attract half as much
interest as the few words he says al
a wedding.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchigon G1obe. ]

IFrom the Atchison GIobe.1
A woman always begins a letter
with an apology, and ends it with a
promise.
An Atchison man is proud of being
a loafer. That's carrying pride too
far.
Men will fall out of love, and this is
the time when their wives see no rea-
son for it.
We notice that men who carry their
money in a shot sack always seem to
have lot of it.
When you get change from a man,
do you take his word for it, or do you
brutally count it?
An Atchison man is being chased so
hard there is demand for a game law
to protect iIiIff.
When you throw a friend a bouquet,
don't throw it so he will catch the
thorns in his hands
After a man passes forty there is
something the matter with him If he
still has women correspondents.
Hope is a progressive game: Ones
children failing to become famous, the
hope progresses to the grandchildren.
We have often wondered IL there is
jealousy in Shade Land because one
Shade got a longer obituary notice
than the others.
When a business man approaches
you, and says: whats the matter?
I never knew it to be so dull" he
wants sympathy.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10
The Patriot.

A resident Of Ava, N. Y, was talk
ing about the late Hiram Cronk, the
last survivor of the war of 1919.
'At the age of a hundred" said the
Ava man, Mr.. Cronk still had an alert
mind. Above all things he was a pat
riot He believed firmly in the su-
premacy of our republic.
AN English traveller, out Of curiosity,
came to Ava to see Mr.. Cronk one day.
The old patriot praised America ex-
travagantly, and condemned England
as an outworn and dying nation.
''The Englishman stood this talk as
long as he could. Then he said holly:
ssSuppose our superb feet we're to
land &c. 600 British marines in New York
what would the Yanks do then?
aDo?' said Mr.. Cronk. 'sWhy, dern
il. our police would arrest them
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10
Co1npositors' Confessions.

A group of compositors, as they ate
their midnight luncheon, talked about
typographical errors
When was working in the country
as a kid" said one, "our editor once
wrote Today is the anniversary of the
birth of Louis Philippe and I set this
up, in my ignorance, Today is the an
niversary Of the birth of Sam Phillips
The editor serawled on the margin of
the proof, Who the dickens is Sam Phil
lips? I was an ignorant kid, and our
editorial on Louis Philippe started in
next morning paper in this way: To
day is the anniversary of the birth of
Sam Phillips. Who the dickens Is Sam
Phillips? This illustrious-and so on"
"Once I spoiled the quotation of a
beautiful poem" said anothed compost
tor. Il made the poem begin, My love
is like a red, red nose It should have
been rose"
The third compositor smiled.
Il was once setting up an advance
notice of a state fair he said. Il made
a paragraph read: There will also be
pumping competition, including stone
wall pumps, water pumps, and other
varieties A lot Of pump makers wrote
to find out about this competition. It
was a mistake For pump jump
should have been put
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10
Horror of the I4ansburgs.

1t is not generally known that the
Hapsburgs have a horror of the raven,
which has always been a veritable
"bird of evil'' to the house. When the
Emperor Francis Joseph accepted the
Austrian crown a fight of ravens
passed over Olmutz and sent a SILVER
through his supporters. Before the
Inflated Macmillan started for Mex
leo a raven followed him and his wife
through the grounds of their castle of
Miramar and fluttered on to the prin-
cess train. When King AIfonso's
mother, then an archduchess, left her
native country for Spain a raven
escorted her to the railway station.
More remarkable still, a huge raven
flew into the face of the late Empress
Eliza beth the day before she was muir
dered at Geneva. The raven, which
was the bird of hope and victory to
the vikings seems to attend the Haps-
burgs as the precursor of misfortune.
The Taller.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10

Former Congressman H. st. George
Tucker. of Virginia, tells a story of a
Virginian who had been INDUCING too
freely in the flowing bowl, and who
had become over-confdent of his own
greatness. Looking around at his
companions, the Virginian boosted,
"Gentlemen, I can lick any man in
Richmond" Nobody took up the
challenge, and the Virginian returned
to the charge. Gentlemen he said,
ct can lick any man in the whole
state of Virginia" The word were
hardly uttered, the narrator said, be-
fore a tall, lean, sinewy man from
the western part of the state gave the
boaster a thrust that sent him sprawl
ing on the floor. Like Owen Wister's
name1ess hero, this Virginian had a
sense of humor, and as he picked
himself up he turned to the group and
drawIed, "Gentlemen, I'm ready to
acknowledge that [ kfvered too much
territory. buffalo Commercial
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10
Once We Enough.

Senator Dubois was lamenting the de-
cay of oratory among American states
with only a few exceptions he said,
1--WE have in Washington no orators
worthy of the name. On this account
7 had to accept in silence during the
last session an acid criticism from a
clever woman
I attended a meeting of the senate
the other day. she said, and that night
had a terrible dream.
'i what did you dreamT said /.
''The lady smiled.
~ dreamed she said, 7 went
again >"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10


Speaking of conscripts' said the
sallor, as ne laid down a book on Rus
SIa' ala ever tell you about my
Well Uncle Joe, in the time of the
c1viI war, had friend named Hiram
Halnes. Hiram was conscripted, but.
WHen ne came to take the medical
examination, he didn't pass. The doc
Tors said ne was no good for a soldier.
fight 40 = ~
Hiram told Uncle Joe about tbs.
little while:
Look a-here. Hi. I'm conscripted
TOO, and my examination is set for
next Thursday. What's the matter
with you taking it in my name? I'd
pass sure, II l took it myself, for I'm
get off,
-" But the risk says Hiram. Think
OF the risk, Joe. Oh, by Jimmy, no,
couldn't do it,
There amt no risk says Uncle
Joe In these confused times, with
the army doctors eXaminin' thousands
OF conscripts day, there amt no risk
Whatever. Come on Hiram. ObIige
me- I'll give you 5000 if you do
Such lump of money as that
brought Hiram to terms. He said
nee take the examination in Uncle
Joe,S name, and sure enough, he done
1t, first gettin' his pay in advance. He
wasn't detected, either But by
Jingos this time the doctors passed
him. This time they declared him
sound in wind and limb, and the
naakIn's of a fust-rate soldier.
Ihat Is why Uncle Joe has been
so down. on war all his life He lost
you see, 5000, and had to fight four
years"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10
HVMOR OF TIE DAY
BLACK PEARLS.

De preacher kin allus Use one mo nick
el. Tessahi
Pc fattes' chicken auus roosts de high
est, nah son
De monty few buggies whut amt hoiped
Dy er Ill greasin', nah bruddah.
De,s times when rtnt money is mo ter
be oisahed den righteousness.
De race amt ter de swift. nah sen.
hit Is sickness Whut counts desc days.
De lots er men lax fishes Whut'u sWal-
low assndtty and won't notus homes bait.
Kase er mans sanctified amt no guar
antee he's done stroyed all his sinfulness.
Eff de bottoms rail do git on top. de
traces ur de mud sttu gWine tell Whar Il
riz frum.
De VARY ones Whut means and groans
de loudes' on Sundays is de VARY ones
Satun amt worryin' bout.
Desc heah white folks Whut's trytn' ter
eJercate de niggers minds me Nv er man
seen once tryin' ter turn er Rourd vine
inter ey-suckler.-NeW Orleans Plea
yuhe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10
ZEE WHEAT oIrTIn0K-

The official report of crop condi-
tons in Kansas. which is just made
public by Secretary Coburn, is not all
that Kansas could wish. A deteriora-
ton of more than Is per cent. in the
last sixty days means a loss of mil
lions OF bushels of grain to the farm
ers of Kansas. It may mean a loss of
dolIars-and it may not.
Last year the wheat crop of Kan
sas was twenty-nine million bushels
less than it was the year before. yet
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.

LFrom the New York Press.
Most people are sorry only after it is
too late.
It is hard luck to be too good to be
appreciated.
The good children are always sick and
the bad ones always making you wish
they would be.
1t is a sign it is real lace when a wo-
man never wears it for fear something
win happen to it.
Burgling isn't half as dangerous as ii
the stock market.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10

The statement sounds very weak
coming from a man Of Governor Stan
Iey's standing. There is a suspicion
that If Joseph W. Folk were governor
Of Kansas the saloons Of Wichita
would be closed in extremely short
order. The man who can enforce
prohibition on Sunday in rum-soaked
St. Louis can enforce prohibition IN
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10
HOCH's LITERARY TRAINING.

Governor Hoch's Memorial day proc
lanation is regarded as one Of the finest
bits of writing along that line that has
ever been penned. Hoch is one of those
country newspaper fellows and has the
training necessary from writing sale
bills to composing a proclamation with
literary merit and expression fitting the
occasion at hand-Seneca Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10

The cables continue to accumulate
evidence that the main problem be-
fore the car and his advisers today is
not by what means the war may be
con: inued but by what means the
present regime may be saved from
disaster It is no longer a question of
whipping Japan, but of saving the
empire. Victorious and aggressive
though the Jap is today, he is not so
menacing an enemy of the Romanoff
dynasty as is the Russian subject
Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10
Flow to Ron an Umbrella.

How many men know how to roll
an umbrella so that it will look as
neat and compact as when It IeaYes
fine store? Not many of those you
meet have the secret.
Nearly everyone who rolls an um-
breIla takes hold of it by the handle
and keeps twisting the stick with one
hand and folds and rolls with me
ether hand. The proper way is to
take hold of the umbrella just above
the points Of the cover ribs; these
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10
WHAT IS NEEDED.

Luther Burbank, the plant wizard of
southern California, has originated a
potato plant which grows its tubers
above ground. Now. if he will give US
an eggplant that will grow omelettes
or even the soft boiled variety or a
rhubarb that will give fruit of ready
made pies, his fame win be complete.
Savannah News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10

points naturally are even around the
Keep hold of these. pressing them
closely against the stick, and then roll
up the cover. Holding the ribs ure-
vents them from getting bent out Of
shape Then the silk win fold evenly
ana roll smooth and as close as the
nrst time unfolded.-Clothiera and Fur
nisher.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10

Still you cannot blame the wheat
farmers for feeling a little bit anxious
about harvest hands. In some coun-
ties there are at least three hundred
acres Of wheat for every able-bodied
man in the county. Suppose you had
that much and knew every other man
in the counties around you had the
same-wouldn't you worry about get
ting three or four men to help save
your three hundred acres?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10

The Philadelphia Inquirer advises
people who do not understand the rail-
road issue to subscribe for the Con
gressional Record during the coming
year. If they do. and if they read it
at all, they will sure enough not IN
derstand the issue.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10

Now that most of the directors who
are opposed to Mr.. Hyde. have RESIGNED
from the Equitable. because they have
discovered that they cannot afford to
have their names connected with any
thing conducted as the Equitable isl
Mr.. Hyde himself has concluded that
he might as well get out.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10

For a joke Sam Woolard applied to
the Carnegie hero fund commission
for medal for Victor Murdoch. The
commission didn't see the joke, and
has sent for plans and specifications
of the Kansas congressman's bravery
in saving two women from the briny
deeD.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10
ON a RoARDING PLACE.

Speaking Of the want of discipline
among the Russians on Rojestvensky's
ships, people ought to remember that
while one might be willing to die for
his country he will not want to fight
for boarding house. Russia is only
a stopping place for her people,
Wichita Eagle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10

There is a great possibility that Nor
way may become a republic. The re-
publican idea OF government Is gaining
ground in Europe. and the time viii
come when France and Switzerland
win not be the only republics in that
part Of the world.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10

The Independence Reporter, which
claims to know, denies that the death
OF Daniel J. O'Day, manager of the
Standard Oil pipe lines, was fastened
by the fight on the Standard in the
Kansas legislature The Reporter
says Mr.. O'Day was seriously i'll be-
fore the legislature met.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10
FRON OTHER PENS
Here IS POETRY.

Almost every knocking bird home in
southern California is at present en-
tertaining four interesting youngsters
who will soon Dreen their young wings
to the buoyant breeze, and add the
matchless music of their songs to the
already ravished ear Cf listening night.
Los Angeles Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10

Whether the man owns the biggest
railroad, or the greatest outside corpo-
ration in the land. or whether he
makes each days bread by the sweat
Of each days toll, he is entitled to
5ustioe and fair dealing, no more, no
lsss.''-President Roosevelt.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10
KAMSzS COMAENT


Indiana's governor has spoken
against the pass evil in a tone of voice
that leads to the suspicion among
other state officials that he might 90
something about it If he took a no.
ton, consequently officers are paying
their way or staying at home.-Salina
Union.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10

We judge that Richmond, Raleigh.
Atlanta. Mobile, New Orleans, and
Other southern towns viii be due to
break out with Rooseveltitis the latter
part Of October. At least the president
leaves for a tour of the south about
that time
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10
a CONEIr

A man who went out hunting once.
LOOK both his guns, and they we're
beauts.
ana did some clever hunting stunts,
Inc people saw him shoot the chIites
maid there was who did crochet.
,-AlChough SO tired she would droop.
ons Kept at work from day to day
rms pretty maid and Iooped the loop.
Chicago Chronicle
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10

AEr. Stubs demands to know If there
axe any avowed candidates for United
States senator. Well, perhaps not; but
Zee Bristow shows decided symptoms
nf Intentions.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

Subscribers OF the State Journal
away during the summer may have
the paper mailed regularly each day
20 any address at the rate of thirty
cents a month. Address changed as
often as desired. While out Of town
she State journal will be to you like
@ daily letter from home.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10

You may not have discovered it. but
there is considerable human nature
about boys. It's the winning team in
an amateur baseball game that always
comes to the newspaper Offices to tell
about it. The losers keep still.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10

Almost any minute now we may ex-
pect to hear that Oyama has offered
further evidence to prove that the
Russian war party is wrong in its
policy News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10

Oyama and Linevitch may keep quiet
pending peace negotiations, according
to orders, but the former will doubtless
continue to keep his powder dry, and
the latter viii keep his troops in good
sprinting condition.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10

''Doing a little missionary work for
Topeka. are you?" asks a morning
paper. OF course not. Leavenworth
and Wichita are the wicked towns
that need missionary work.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-10
KICKING

We either have no breeze at all
These days when it is warm,
Or else we have a gentle thing
That's very like a storm;
The only thing it leaves US is
The mortgage on the farm.
Houston Post.