The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-04-25
ABunch of Storyettes
Grave and Gay, Historical, Epl-
srammatIc and Otherwise.

s--s-~-e- s-e-e--s-s-e->-s~s-s
r. ]. Wynne the postmaster general.
tells story about small boy who was
1i,t,d 1lnyIted 70 "a a party given by one Of his
cream and cake three times somebody
offered him some candy but the little
chap shook his head, and said in a sor-
rowiul tone; Il can chew, but / can't
swallow"
An Ohio man who was recently elected
TO congress, went to Washington TO look
around and see what his duties were He
was Hospitality received, and was wined
and dined great many times by his col
leagues. Before he went home he said
g his friends; BY George, ] have had
breakfasts and suppers galore given to
me. In fact, / haven't had my knife out
of my mouth since | struck town
Shortly after the explosion Of one OF
the big guns on the Massachusetts. a
year ago, 4 sailor. who was Injured by
Thea me accident wa, was asked to give an ac-
jacky to his questioner, II RELY can't
say that ] knows very much about It,
was standin', you see with me back to
the gun, a-facin' the port side. All Of a
sudden / hears hell Of a noise; then.
sir, the ship physician he says. Set up
an take this
Wnhe .. M todIIle was composing his
play, Peter Pan" he went to a chill
drens supper party. Among the guests
was little boy whose healthy appetite
provoked from his mother the pleading
threat, You will be i'll tonight" mo.
mother, not till tomorrow, was the
calm response of the contented creature
of the moment 1t caught and pleased
the ear Of Mr.. Barrie, who put it into
his play, and promised to the juvenile
joint author halfpenny royalty upon
every performance.
Mrs. i. z. Letter, when she is in Paris
spends a good deal Of time in the shopg
Of the jewelers. and dealers in antiuues
and objects Of art. On a rather duh aft
ernoon Mrs. Letter visited an art shop
in the Rue de la Paix She looked al
bronzes, jewels, drawings and other
things, and finally, pointing toward a
dusky corner she said to the polite sales
man: How much is that japanese idol
over there worth?" The salesman bowed,
and answered: About 100000 francs,
madam. 1t is the proprietor"
Speaker Cannon writes a very bad hand.
NOT long ago he sent note to Repre-
sentative Cushman of Washington. Cush-
man could make nothing out of it, So
ne took It TO colleague, who managed
70 decipher two or three words. An
other congressman was visited with the
same result, but the joint labor of half
a dozen of them was necessary to even
an incomplete translation, for the last
tnree words had to be given up as unde-
cipherable. So Cushman took the note
70 Cannon and asked him what the baf-
i1ing phrase was. Cannon glanced at it.
ana said That Is Personal and Conf
DENTAL. .
Prof. Brieger Of the Berlin medical in
sttute, Was busily at work in his labora-
tory surrounded by a formidable array OF
chemical si.a1l and bacteriological utensils. A
distinguished foreign physician called
upon him, and watched his absorbing la
Dor with interest. The professors s atten-
ton seemed to be anxiously, but still
hopefully concentrated on a vessel which
was enveloped in smoke and steam.
Guess what | am boiling here in this
pot, said the professor. The visitor be-
gan to enumerate the entire scale of
!Isenodn ga q. "Mcrocoeci? NO,
piled Brieger.
Dr William Osler, whose old age theory
mas created such a Stir said once in n
lecture that all prescriptions and medical
directions should be written very plainly.
and In a way that admitted OF no double
"a llatteTapretation. yer AS an Illustration. he re-
patient that he must drink hot water an
hour before breakfast, and so that the
directions would not be forgotten. gave
me man a slip OF paper with them writ
ten on 1t: Drink hot water an hour
before breakfast" The patient returned
m week, and reported that he was
worse worse than before Did you follow rny
directions and drink hot water an hour
before breakfast?' asked the doctor II
ried to, was the doleful reply but I
couldn't keep 1t up for more than ten
minutes at stretch"
Lady Bloomfield, in a magazine article.
'Recolecting of an Octogenarian, tells
u an amusing incident in the career of
Ter cousin, Augustus Hare Mr. Hare
vas in Rome, and was showing a party
4 friends through the Colosseum ana
living them what information he pos
essed about II. stranger was near the
'arty, and heard, with evident anger,
what was said. The further Mr.. Hare's
hpromptu lecture went, the angrier the
tranger grew. At last he Joined the
arty and said: Ladies' and gentlemen.
DO not wish to obtrude myself upon
ou; but there are things which no gem
leman can hear unconcerned, and with
ut the wish OF showing up an imposter
aadles and gentlemen | do not know
mo the person is who has been address
az you; but allow me to inform you that
ne lecture has been taken word for
.oru, yes, actually word for word, from
II. Hare's book, Walks about Rome,"
IT. Hare, much amused, answered Sir
cannot express my acknowled gnlent
or your kindne ness-indeed l did not know
lat possessed so warm a friend: but.
p, l beg to inform you that l am Au-
ustus Hare"
Wnen Rudyard kipling was in this
ountry he was once commissioned to
rite impressions about the chief po-
teal boss of the United States, Senator
uay. kipling went to Beaver and called
2 the senator, whom he found, as was
sual, in his library. The talk was about
)oks. In a short time, so 1t seemed to ,
le British writer, Mrs. Quay came in,
nd after Mr.. kipling had been present.
!. she urged him 10 stay to tea Kip
ne stayed, and after tea he and the sen
Tor returned TO the library, which was
ich one as he did not expect to find
any home in America. More talk
bout books followed until to Kipling's
nazement, the clock struck eleven.
hen, mindful Of his commission. he
ade arrangements to call again the
sxt day. Going to the telegraph office,
Se this: Unable to find the boss poll
lcian. But If you want it, will write
ipressions about the best literary critic
America"
The Hon. Bird s. Mcclure, congression-
delegate from Oklahoma. received the
lowing letter from constituent: Dear
r Mcclure; enjoyed that last package
garden and flower seeds you sent me
'ry much l wish you would send me
me more garden seeds, and send a few
'wer seeds to my wife. But please do
It send her any canary seeds If you
she might eat them and try to sing.
ID God knows have troubles enough
W."
=
Next to Massachusetts, South Carolina
more cotton cloth than any
her state in the Union The cotton
Ills OF South Carolina are mostly owned
d operated by New England capital.
n many instances the machinery Of the