Daily Kennebec journal., 1905-07-15


Just adds to her collection.
Columbus Dispatch.
Hannibal Hamlin, for many years
| United States senator from Maine and
| vice-president during the Civil War,
was wont to tell the following story ON
| himself:
IAN Englishman by tie name of
Pearson, while passing along the main
| street in Bangor, stepped in hole in
| the sidewalk, and falling, bloke his leg.
| He brought suit against the city for
1,OOU. and engaged Hamlin as counsel.
| 'Hamlin won his case, but the city
| appealed to the Supreme Court. Here,
also, the decision was for Hamlin's
| client.
After settling up the claim. Hamlin
| sent for his client and handed him 81.
Whats this'?' asked the English
man.
That's your damages, after taking
out my fee, the cost of appeal. and sew
| eral other expenses sail Hamlin.
THE Englishman looked at the dol
| lar, and then at Hamlin. What's the
| matter with this he said: "is it bad?'
Little Mildred had had nightmare,
and was telling the family about it the
| next morning.
when l woke up she said, Il was
still scared. and my heart was beating
tattoo"
Here her elder sister interrupted.
How could your heart beat a tattoO?"
she asked. sarcastically.
Il guess it could do it on the drums
OF my ears, couldn't to- demanded Mil
dred. Indignantly.
He looked like a, man who might be
guilty Of having common sense as he
entered the police station and saun-
tered up to the desk-but one can't al
ways judge by appearances.
Say" he began. in a stage whisper,
suppose l was to send $50 to New
York for package of green goods and
a fellow sent me a few slips of brown
wrapping paper instead; could l have
him pinched?"
Possibly" answered the man behind
the desk.
And would l have to let the police
know that l had sent for green goods ?"
Sure thing
But wouldn't that be giving myself
away?"
That's what
"And l might get in bad, eh?"
'Tm afraid So
well, I'm much obliged for the in
formation. A friend of mine in Texas
wrote and asked me to find out for
him"
''Then You didn't want to know for
your own satisfaction"
"Of course not. What want to know
is if a dog that has just celebrated his
21st birthday isn't too old to require a
license
He is ii the sausage man happens to
make his acquaintance"
THANK you. Good morning"
No one ever understood the foibles of
stage people better than did the late
Kirke La Shelle. and of the ruling pas
sion of actors he used to tell this story.
l won't mention the actors name but
he is star of considerable reputation.
Mr.. La Shelle met him on the Rialto
one day ana noticed that he was wear
ing a mourning badge on his arm.
ITS for my father" the actor ex-
planned. I've Just come back from his
funeral. 1t was n sad affair."
Mr.. La Shelle expressed his sincerest
sympathy. The actors grief has obvi-
ously real and great.
"A thing like this a man doesn't get
over soOn,' he went on. Il attended to
all the funeral arrangements. / did
the best | could. We had everything
just as father would have liked it,"
7
MANY there'" cried the actor
changing from grief to animation.
why. my boy. we turned 'em away
Washington Post
Vincent was altogether too garru-
lous in school to please his teachers.
Such punishments as the institution al
lowed to be meted out were tried with
out any apparent effect upon the boy.
until at last the head master decided to
mention the lads faults upon his
monthly report.
So the next report to his father had
these words
Vincent talks n great deal
Back came the report by mail. duly
signed. but with this written in red ink
under the comment: You ought to
hear mis- mother"
An inveterate smoker is Henry Ir
wing. One night, years ago, the ia
nous actor. on getting into cab. gave
the driver fine Havana cigar
Mr.. j. L. Toole was i'm te vehicle with
his friend. and on reaching their des-
tination the cahby was putting on airs
His hat was on one SIDE and, sitting
bolt upright, he was smoking with keen
enjoyment-an enjoyment that rejoices
the hearts of the two players And thew
told him they were pleased he liked the
cigar.
Yes I do. I never dreamed of sucb
tobacco"
Thereupon Irwin gave the jehuano,h