The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-05-14
E1IOUETTEF0R CALLERS
MAY MAN ASK PERMISSION TO
 CALLf
If the Caller is BashfuI, Relieve Him of His Hat-The Minute COnversa- tion Drags, Depart-The Hos-
 tess May Not Fad Q Call.
nY MARGARET E. sANGsTER.

| tercourse the matter Is not momentous. 1 If two persons meet casually, find each | other agreeable, and wish further &C., i uuaintance, they usually find a way of | bringing about what they desire. Ac- | cording to strictly conventional rules, | the gentleman should seek the ac- | uuaintance of the lady, and he may properly pay her the homage of asking | if he may call on her, or he may sug- | gest to a friend who knows her that l he would like to be taken to call. ] There are no insurmountable barriers in 1 a country like ours, to prevent the pleas ant social mingling of those who are | mutually attracted Nor is there the l slightest reason why, in most cases, young woman should hesitate to say. | frankly: T will be pleased to see I you at my home if you have an even- | ing free" 'or Mother will be glad to meet you at any time,' or Mother and are always happy to see our friends" or any other formula that Is sincere and cordial.
 Girls are learning the true value of mothers. In the more exclusive circles of society mothers spread protecting wings over their unmarried daughters till the latter have evidently and def- nitely entered on the privileges of spinsterhood. young woman who
 has reached her 30th year no longer
 needs the lowering pinion of maternal supervision at every step. Girls, how
 ever, are saved many endorsements
 and rescued from many predicaments
 by treating their mothers with consid-
 eration, and putting them as a shield between themselves and any confusing situation. The days are over, 1 trust
 forever, when on the announcement of
 a masculine caller, a callow youth or
 boy about as old as her own son, a mother scutt1es out of the parlor like
 frightened hen and leaves the enter tainment and the field to her daugh- ters. She may not wish to give up her entire evening to the boy or the man, but If she be well-bred, she greets him and stays awhile, and retires in no disorder. Nor, while she remains, is her presence a handicap on the group. Her girls wish mother to know their friends.
 How late may a man finger when he calls is another query solicitously pro- pounded. Of course Sr3e length of a call depends somewhat on the famil- iarity of the caller in the family. An intimate friend will not trespass
 against any accepted code if he remain
 until almost the ordinary bedtime of the family. This time, as everyone
 knows. differs widely in different | households. Ten o'clock is late for
 some. Others do not break the even | ing camp until II. But, broadly speak
 ing, few callers should stay beyond
 half-past ten, and ten is the better hour | for leaving in most instances. A first l call should not be more than a half | hour long. From eight to nine o'clock ] in town calls are in order. In coun- | try homes calling may begin and end
 an hour earlier than is feasible in town. | Never protract call after 1t grows wearisome. When conversation drags
 like a sleigh on bare ground for pity's
 sake arise and depart. Don't monopo-
 lize the conversation, you who receive. | or you who call Good talk is not a | monologue. It must needs show fair
 play.
 Shall I relieve a young man of his
 hat, his stick, his umbrella?" inquires
 a young women, whose earnest desire | IS to be courteous. Fashion says, let
 a man look after his paraphernalla 1 himself. The duty of a hostess does not oblige her to take any trouble in l the matter. But here intervenes com
 mon sense. Should you happen to have
 bashful visitor. or near sighted one, | why not tell him that there is a table, | a hat-rack, or some other convenient
 place where he may lay his outdoor | things? The clever guest, accustomed | to society, will need no such intima- l tion, and the instinct of amiability is
 to assist the opposite one, whose shy
 ness Is making him wretched
 l There are men who cling desperately | to hat and stick, as if should they let | them go they would be unarmed in hostile country. By all means let such
 sufferers possess their souls, and their | hats, too, in peace. In the case of an l aged or infirm visitor rules are laid
 aside. Such one is to be cared for
 and aided in every way. Before age and weakness politeness bows the knee.
 Indeed, the foundation stone underlying
 the social edifce and holding it up, IS
 kindness, and hard by that is another stone, called common sense. If you I build your good manners on these you , will not be found wanting in a kings court, or in rear tenement.
 l May the hostess terminate call?
 Certainly not, unless she has some
 excellent reason for doing SO, as, for
 instance, illness in the family, a child
 with the croup, a husband with rneu-
 matism. hungry man waiting for
 his supper, when the maid is out on
 her evening off. Ordinarily, the hos
 tess sits. attentive and interested, until
 her visitor rises to go. She also rises
 and goes with him to the door. Town
 etiquette dictates leave taking at the
 door of the drawing-room OId-fash-
 toned people. of whom I am one. go
 to the house-door and say bood-by to | a guest there. Politeness does not re-
 qulre driblets of talk on the door-sill
 nor any prolonged farewell with the
 wind blowing in the face of the hos
 tess. She need not incur pneumonia
 and influenza through such folly as
 this.
 T hate,' says pretty Mabel, ''to fn-
 troduce people" My dear child, why?
 It's the simplest thing on earth. You
 mention names very clearly, you pre-
 sent the younger person to the older,
 the gentleman to the lady. Do 1t once
 or twice and your dread will van
 ish. It's the same about offering re- treatments, which Almira loathes. From the earliest antiquity hospitality
 has been illustrated by the offered loaf. A man or woman who is your friend is never wholly yours until he or she has broken bread beneaath your
 roof. There is never any difficulty if
 you have light refreshments suitable
 to the hour, If you proffer them without nervousness, and, if you con-
 trlve table or stand wherton a guest
 may rest glass. a tea cup or a plate.
 To hold these things in the hand is not always convenient. About visiting cards. Remember
 that a card left at the door always counts as a call Don't waste your visiting cards. It Is not necessary,