Waterbury evening Democrat., 1905-08-23

10 come to business! Of course. We'll. what have in my mind is a scheme-the most perfect scheme imag- inable-for rendering people appropri- ate. We might form . company, and call it The Impersonators, Limited
 T think hardly follow you"
 "It is quite simple, really. My idea is to make poets look like poets To give an artistic tout ensemble to art ists. Lecturers should look profound all forehead and eyebrows and jaw and not as if they were only interested in some small, suburban chandlers shop Positively, you know, these clever people injure their own reputa- tions by mingling with their fellow creatures You literary agents ought not to allow your authors to appear in public; they damage their own sales I am sure they do. And painters are always so in need of decoration them selves that you cannot possibly believe in their genius And as for your reputed wits, have listened to more epigrams at mothers meeting in one short half hour than ever heard at a fashionable gathering of celebrities"
 You must have had some most un- fortunate experiences
 Not unusually unfortunate. fancy. Other people quite agree with me. I was talking to .. But-as you so courteously do not say-your time is valuable. and am by way of becoming nuisance. will hurry on. then, to my remedy. Why. MT Boswell, should all these famous people ever appear in public at all?"
 Why"
 ''Yes. Would it not be better for all concerned if they were to employ other people to impersonate them? There are plenty of nice young men who would look far more like the authors of great works than the real authors do. And many of them would be only too glad to earn few guineas by wearing the mantles of the great at receptions and balls and dinner parties and afternoon teas. They would, am sure, stimulate sales enormously, instead of retarding them"
 ''You forget madam. that the person. alities of most of our famous people are already we'll known to the public. One moment. How would it be possible to introduce an altogether unknown per son as the author of-shall we say?-Mr. Farsyde's book. either to hostess or the casual reader? MT. Farsyde's por- trait has appeared in
 And you said you were cynic!" she sighed.
 Pardon me" said Billy, "it was you who said that"
 Anyhow she rejoined. you ought to know that the memory of the common herd is the most short-lived thing in the world And then there are always new men and women coming along. They. at least"
 'I have not quite done. .. How, for instance, could hint to my best author that he-is not altogether handsome :? How could I point out to one of my artists or poets that he was essentially not picturesque--that his wild hair re- sembled rather the stuf1ing out of a cheap sofa cushion than ambrosial locks? It could not be done, my dear madam. The thing is not feasible. And my brilliant wits! What in the name of all that is improbable, would they do to me if told them. no matter how delicately. that their funniments were not funny? And then, my lectur- compared to small suburban shopmen!
 'T didn't think" the lady faltered.
 And that is not the worst of 1t, either" proceeded Billy. ruthlessly. How am I to advise them to change their tailor or their dressmaker. their natter or milliner. without laying my self open to the suspicion of taking com- missions from tradesmen? And then, you know. these absurd people are proud of their houses and their back gardens. They plume themselves on their knowl- edge of horses and dogs. And above all. how is 1t conceivable that should criticise their wives adversely. and. in the last dread resort. their children, without provoking them to reprisals that might even be of a sanguinary sort? ? No. madam. Your idea has points. l ad- nit. and. for some reasons wish that it could be put into practice. But so long as life is ordered as it is at pres ent. even the wisest and most inspired of mankind must have their share of human nature. Show me how to elim- mate human nature and I am prepared to talk to you till the COWS come home !"
 ''I see" said the lady. sadly. reflective ly. But thought. you know . They don't look human one bit. anyway.' And she smiled.-Chicago Chronicle.
 Filipino Leper Cured.