The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1905-06-30
SHE HAD THE PROOF.

OJse t1rO JUL ulOOj.
Washington Star: When little Mrs.
Mercyonnus returned to Washington
from her honeymoon she lost 10 time
in hurrytng around to the home of
an old married woman friend for adj
vice and consolation. The old married
woman friend, that Is to say, was all
OF twenty-three years Of age, and she
Little Mrs. Mercyonnus looked very
n pertur5ed.
What in the name OF land sakes
alive ails you?" of course inquired the
old married woman friend and giclhood
pal when she saw the distressed state
OF little Mrs. M~ercyonnus. You are
looking dreadful. What is it?"
well, I guess you would look dread
full too, II your husband made such a
terrible uproar in his sleep that you
couldn't sleep for five or six nights
running" replied little Mrs. Mercyon-
nus, p%outingly.
'Oh, you mean that the poor man
snores?" inquired the DID married wom-
an frie~H sympathetically, yet with a
broad smile.
well. 1 suppose that is what it is
called: but snoring seems too mild a
term to denominate the-the-the
sounds that Jack makes" said Mrs.
Mercyonnus.
But" sagely asked the old married
friend. why in pities' sakes
don't you turn him over when he SHORES
so hat you can't sleep?"
Turn him over?" repeated Mrs. Mer-
cyonnus, mystitedly. Nov, What on
earth can the mean? Turn
bug-or-or something!"
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. exactly
what 1 mean, and nothing else" i'm
pressively replied the old married
woman of all of a half a years expert
ence with a husband creature.
But. dear me-" hopelessly remarked
creature weighs 200 pounds. How in
the wide world would I be able to turn
him over?"
"Oh, you don't have to literally lift
him up Inc turn him over" remarked
the settled married of twenty
three. NO such thing. OF course not.
All you've got to do is to give him a lit
tie poke or shake. you know-just suf--
lcient to half awaken him-and tell
him to turn over, and he'll do it with
put coming to his senses at all. Hus-
bands get to do that quite automatic
cally, you know, when they're trained
that way; But you'd better begin
But I don't want to wake Jack up,
poking or shaking him." argued Mrs.
M~ercyonnus. He says that when once
he wakes up at night It's so hard for
him to get to sleep again."
Now, you do as tell YOU" peremp--
torily commanded the old married
woman II know what I'm about. /
had the same trouble with Edward.
But now 1 have merely to touch him
on the shoulder when he's snoriEg-and
he does snore, too, something dreadful.
although he denies it strenuously-and
he turns right over on, his side like a
lamb, without I've waking up. And
snore when they're laying on their
sides. It's only when they're lying on
their backs, the poor helplessly old
things, that they snore."
Mrs. A4ercyonnus decided to put the
lesson to the test that very night, pro-
,snored hard enough to keep her awake.
He did srore hard enough to keep
her awake that night. and she rose on
one elbow II ncsiced by the dim re-
Election of the electric light shining
through the window, that he was
,sprawled out on the fiat of his back.
So she reached out q very soft and
Shoulder. Then she waited for him to
turn over. It didn't happen. He went
right on snoring harder than ever.
She touched him or the shoulder
again, this time placing her lips close
to his ear n murmuring. Jack"
biggest saw mill south of Michigan,
and he was running it for keeps.
I'd just like to know what Minnie
meant by telling me such nonsense
m%urnlured little Mrs. M%ercyonnus to
herself. He has not even moved,
Turn him over! I might just as we'll
try to urn the house over. Jack!"
AID cha ooS,o him q little hn rS ar ShoLo
on the shoulder this time, and placed
her lips still closer to his ear. The
only noticeable effect was that he
struck a Knot Of lignum vitae hardness
and resistance that Mrs. Mercyonnus
actually fancied that the dishes in the
pantry ratified with the sound.
However she was there to try out
tina turn-him-over thing to it's final
issue, and she gave him another prod
and shake. This time he struck half
a dozen big knots in a bunch. Then he
slowly quit snoring, gurgled q lot in his
throat, opened his eyes,. and grunted-
but he didn't turn over so that any
body could really notice 1t.
What is it?" he inquired. hoarsely
and drowsily. What the dickens is
coming Off he.e?"
Jack" whispered his wife, with the
idea Of not fully a%wakening him,
areIdreadfuliy! I.can't sleep a wink"
Huh? Me snore? Aw. cut 1t out
forget It," grunted the unturnable one.
Never snored In my life. Sure thing.
Dunno how. Would wob-ug--glick-er-
heu-" md then he gurgled himself
into a still %profounder snoring slumber.
But he hadn't turned wv any.
Jack" resolutely whispered little
Mrs. Mercyonnus. giving him another
shake. with the idea OF mailing him
before he got too far away into
dreamland. won't you pul-leeze-just
to let me sleep oh such a teenchy lit
tic bit-won't you pul-leeze turn over