The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1905-11-16
BY THE WAY

1t il very interestin. to kiss girl
before you get ready.
Most peoples remedy for deing
what they oughtn't to do ID to do 1t
over again.
II is hardly ever of any use to try
to convince woman by showing her
the reasons for it.
A girl can stand having the weather
make her feet cold If it gives her a
nice rosy complexion.
A man wants TO drink to celebrate
the arrival of the first child and TO
console him for the arrival OF the fifth
one.
A resident of Goldendsle tried TO
| light the fire with what he thought
was kerosene. 1t proved, however,
to be gasoline, and the wonder Is that
he has since benZine.
1t is a wonder that the gentleman
who wrote up the football game foi
The Dalles Chronicle did not expire
III an ecstasy OF joy One more vic
tory and it will be all off with him.
II you intend to elope, don't go to
Multnomah county. The hard heart
cd county clerk Of that county has
decided that the blushing bride-to-be
must be a resident of Multnomah
county In order TO secure marriage
license there.
A debating society has been formed
In White Salmon composed Of Nom
bers Of both sexes. That the debates
will be spirited goes without saying,
for the members of the gentler sex
may always be depended upon to take
the negative.
The indictment of number Of
prominent citizens of Lewiston for
completely In land frauds is being
watched with interest by many people
acquainted with some of the indicted
persons, says the Walla Walla Union.
That redskin who tied his horse to
the rail and then went to sleep on the
railroad track at Union Gap, Wash,
went to the happy hunting grounds
with neatness aud dispatch. He had
been partaking ad libitum of spirits
fermentum.
The proprietors Of the saloons In
Goldendale have come to the conclu-
sion that there Is no money In 5-cent
beer and have raised the ante to 10
cents. They have not as yet placed
any restrictions on depth OF the
collar, however.
Don't wear O bird on your hat, la
dies. II you do you are liable to be
| pinehed 9. Lombard, president OF
the John Burroughs society Of Port
land, says that the fashion of trim
ming ladies' sky pieces with the plu-
mage Of song birds must cease. Mr..
lLombardi must know; still there are
some from Missouri.
One of orr exchanges says that a
pretty scht oil teacher In neighboring
county inaugurated a new cure for
tardiness. She offered to kiss the first
arrival each morning. 1t IL reported
the next morning after the offer was
made three young men we're seen
roosting on the fence at six O'Clock,
and by seven all the boys of tht
school and two Of the directors had
put In their appearance.
notice that several papers In this
section are willing to give clubbing
rates. Now | know several people
that ought to be dubbed, ! haven
got the money TO have 1t done myself,
but II this paragraph should happen
to strike the eye Of any one who has
| wish they would come in and see
me. or course don't believe In
clubbing, but still If can have 1t
done cheap without anybody knowing
It, why that will be all right.
A nearby editor has come to the
conclusion that people who desire
"puffsn In his paper may pay for
them, and established the following
schedule of prices For telling the
public that a man Is successful citi-
zen when everybody knows that he Is
as lazy as mule, 81. 75; referring to
a deceased citizen as one who Is
mourned by the entire oommu lity,
when he knew he would only be missed
by the poker players and crap shoot.
ers, 81, 10; referring to some gallivat-
ing female as an estimahle woman
whom ii was a pleasure to meet, when
the business men in town would rather
see the devil, horns, hoofs and all,
than to see her coming toward them,
$500.
Some time when your,tongue is IN
good working order aud you feel like
exercising it, stop knocking your
neighbors and try few OF these;
Six mixed biscuits.
She sells sea shells,
Strange strategic statistics.
The sea ceaseth and 1t suiflceth us
A cup of coffee In copper coffee
pot,
All he holds are old whole holdalls
A big black bootblaok BACKED Ber
tie
She stood ON an arbor welcoming
him in.
Fresh fried fish freely favored friz.
cling finely.
What noise annoys noisy oystery
A noisy noise annoys noisy oyster
Three gray geese In green field
grazing. Gray were the geese and
green was the grazing,
Susan shiueth shoes and socks
Socks and shoes shine Susan;
She ceaseth shining shoes and socks
For socks aud shoes shock Susan.
The Good Old Way.