Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-05-06
A GENUINE SURPRISE

IT s'pose," observed the talky man at the
lunch room. beaming amiably upon the
other four at his table. II s'pose cigar deal
ers Will go right on selling punky cigars
for big money to women as long as the
world goes round. hey2"
The other four, however, only scowied
| and occupied themselves with their food.
"A woman knows about as much about
cigars as l do about diffcrential calculus.
anyhow" went on the garrulous one, I'M
discouraged, land, of course, when she
buys 'en she picks out the box with the
prettiest picture pasted on the inside OF
| the cover. the cutest little ribbon around
| EN-. or something like that. She can't see
| why there should be any difference in to-
| baceo and she thinks that bargain cigars
ought to pan out just as well as bargain
shirt waists. or bargain tides, or bargain
any old thing that women dig up their hus-
| bands lard -earned coin for Amt that the
experience of you felows?"
| However, the other four at the table pre-
| tended to be husy engaged in making
geometrical figures the table cloth with
their forks or applied themselves exclu-
Sively to their vIctulis.
When I'd finished eating my dinner last
night. proceeded the chinful one, in no
| sense aggreved by their silence. my wife.
who had been looking mysterious and
crafty throughout the meal, said to me
with battling smile:
What do you suppose ] bought you
today for a surprises?
"'Oh said l. AN egg-beater, or new
lampshade, a pair of gloves for your
self. or a 39-cent fern at the market, or a
| bath rug. or something individual of that
kind
She looked kind o. hurt at that.
No she said, it's something for your
very self-something that l couldn't pos
sibly USE
T two,
haven't crocheted me a salmon-p pink and
green necktie have your
IS No. she replied, they're to smoke, and
she brought the box Of cigars from behind
her back and handed them to me while l
leaned up against the wall for support.
We'll 1 tried to tell her that I'd sud
denly decided to stop smoking that very
afternoon, that the doctor had advised me
to quit cigars and stick to pipe, and that
sort of thing but l couldn't get by with
any of those yarns She was bound that
should try one of those smokes, and try
it at once.
Then l tried to do the fiim-fiam game
by picking of the cigars out of the box
with the lovely label and then changing
it for cigar that had in my vest pocket
but she was on to that curve. too, and there
was no way of getting out OF IT, Just
had to light one of those bargain smokes
She struck a match. l bit off the end OF
the thing. shut my eyes. took one. pull
when she touched the match to the end
of the cigar, and them
And then you fell back unconscious from
the fumes" inserted one of the other four
at the table looking interested.
Tasted like a dried caulifower, heyE
put in another, grnningly.
"Smelt like junk warehouse in flames
eh?" cut in another cheerfully.
First Whit from the piece o punk gave
your wife Mysteries. hey?' was the contri-
button of the fourth.
You're all dreaming" said the talky
! man. with a gloating expression of counte-
nance 1T was, by all odds. and barring
none the very finest smoke that l ever
| poked into my face, and l smoked 1t down
| to the last eighth of an inch, and I'm just
on nv way to the tobacconist's where she
got them, and I'm going to buy another
thousand of them right off the reel,
and
BY taking a zlg-zag path of 1t toward
the door the chinful individual contriVed
to dodge the debris that was hurled after
him.