The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-01-21
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gets for stealing a million dollars.'-
Chicago Record Herald.
she-My. but Mr.. Flaxyman is
stingy. He-I should say so. Why,
he wouldn't laugh at joke unless It
was at somebody else's expense.-Ex.
Clara-Dld you lose your presence
Of mind when he attempted to kiss
your Maud-Yes, for a moment Why, !
l nearly told him to stop.-NewYork-
er.
Chauneur-Is there an ordinance
limiting the speed Of autos In this
town. Native-No. they can't get
through too quickly to suit us.-Brook-
Ign Life.
Foreigner-What is the significance
of the eagle that is stamped on Ameri-
can money? United States Citizen-It
is the emblem Of its swift hght-De-
troit Free Press.
MY sakesl How well your bus-
band is trained How did you ever do
TT" 81 didn't. He was a widower
when l got him. 1t saves a lot OF
trouble. Chicago Record-Herald.
Margie-If you don't quit teasing
me I'll tell mamma and she'll tell papa,
then papa will whip you. Harry
Then I'll cry and grandma will give
me some candy, and l won't give you
any lex.
: did you notice how 1 moved the
audience last nightT asked the anna
teur elocutionist Moved isn't the
proper name for It," reJoined his criti-
cal friend. at was little short Of a
stampede"
, Little Willie-Say. pa. is the pen
mightier than the swordf Pa-So
some people claim. my son. Little
= Willie-Then why don't the Russians
arm themselves with fountain pensl-
Minneapolis Times.
i I'm sure 1 saw a cat over In that
! corner" said Tommy, sitting up in
y bed. mo, dear; go to sleep" said his
= mother; at was just imagination"
a HAS a Imagination got shiny eyesT"-
p Philadelphia Ledger.
II Mr.. Sklnfint-The paper says skirts
are to be worn longer than ever. Mrs
e Skinfint-Well, you needn't be fgger
h In on me wearin' mine any longer
Ell I've worn 1t five years this comm
A fallI'-Harper's Bazaar.
r Passenger-This train is nearly on'
lie hour behind time. is 1t not? Guard
t. Yes; but that's all right. Wen get il
Of the usual time. Passenger-What tim
late -
he Glasgow Evening Times.
K 81 thought Smeargie was a frien'
ut of yours?" "He was until lately.
er had to drop him. He was Away
ey wanting to borrow money. Refuse
be him sharply. did your mo. len
st him some."-Chicago Tribune.
IN shes a lovely girl. and so simpl
ee In her tastes. / told her that hadn
ID much of an income yet, but that
us hoped 1 could provide for her ever
Isl want" And what did she say?
IN 'She said that would be all she coul
Ne ask. "-London Tit-Bits.
Caller-Kitty, is that your parrot
Little Girl-No, indeed, ma'am. Til
folks next door left him with us whe
IL they went away on their vacation
a Fore he begins to talk l want TO tie
he you that he doesn't belong to oil
he church.-Chicago Tribune.
nd Wife-John, don't you think thi
Ike orr house is altogether too small Il
our present needs? Husband-Ye
lite I've been thinking seriously OF puttir
he an addition to 1t. Wife-Something
art the shape of wing7 Husband-N
'ol- something in the shape Of mortgag
the l shot a rabbit the other day. Son
lne kind Of a warden came out OF Z
nat bushes and objected" That was
leo game warden" mo. 1t wasn't" wi
80 not7r Because there was nothil
Jon game about him. He ran when poll
ing ed my gun at him."-Baltimore HI
aid.
" yes" remarked the party W
sometimes let's an audible thought
cane ITS sure sign a man is g
~. ~ ting old" whats a sure sign
.on oueried the youth with the rubber h;
# "When he goes around telling p
~ ME that he feels just as young as
= ever did" explained the noisy think
"You know how father insists uT
talking all the time whenever Ska
comes to call on me Yes w
we fixed him up last night We
Il him to read the Russian and ia
nese names in the war dispatches.
his jaw was soon so sore that he co
not talk above a whisper. '-Lont
Tit-Bits.
with Jennie-That spiteful Mrs. Chat'
ana ton said your husband was old
5 9as ugly and that you only married
Us u for his money. Nettie-And what
: for YOU say. dear7 jennie said
cold sure you didn't do anything OF
SO sort. Nettie-Did you ever meet
and husband7 Jennie-No; / never
hing that pleasure. Nettie-I thought So
,ath- '-~@
iuch The Farmers Vacation
THE ambitious tiller OF the soil, '