davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
Cruelty to Animals.

Colonel Martin, resident near the city
Of Galway, Oh the southern border Of
Connemara, Ireland, was probably the
first to start the worthy humanitarian
crusade against cruelty to animals. The
surprised British house of lords shout
cd insult and derIsion at Lord Erskine
when IN 1911 be ventured 70 gently
plead the cause Of dumb brutGs. The
British house Of commons would have
treated Martin in the same manner
when he introduced his bill for the pre-
ventlon Of cruelty to animals but for
wholesome regard for his dueling repu-
tation.
"Dick Martins act" as the humani-
tartan statute was known. was passed
In 1922, "a memorable date In the his
tory of Aumane legislation" On June
"a, 1924, Colonel Martin and Il few
other benevolent individuals met In
London and formed the first society for
the prevention Of cruelty to animals.
Forty years later the movement spread
TO America. In 1866 Henry Bergh
formed the New York society.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
4 Lost Custom.

Among the lost customs Of merry
England is that OF the mllkmaids' pro-
cessiOn II was n May day Observ-
ance. The manner OF their going was
az follows: They borrowed great
quantity OF silver plate-not sham
plate. real gold plate-dishes, butter
boats. cream jugs. tankards, etc. They
built ~ the pIa'e round an obellsk.
crOwn'ng the whole with a tea urn.
They arranged the most shOwy flowers
of the season between and about the
silver
This obelsk was carried by two
chairmen in gold laced hats and fol
lowed by n troop Of handsome milk
maids dressed In pink and blue gowns,
drawn through the pocket holes" 4"
whatever tnnt means. with high heeled
shoes, mob caps, lappets Of lace on
their shoulders, nOsegGys In their bOs-
oms and fiat Wellington hats" COW
cred with ribbons. \ Adder went
first IN sky blue coat and bat adorned
with ribbons. The procession stopped
before the doors Of the customers and
the milkmaids danced. Queen
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
"WnItOn's Angler"

This insignificant duodecimO volume,
not remarkable for any especial liter
airy merit beyond an easy. cheerful,
chatty good humOr, interlarded with
technical .nfOrmatiOn about a strange
" fascinasing sport, occupies one OF
the tODmost inches I'm the huge tenn
pie OF British photographed fame.
Worth its weight la gold' IS a very
Inadequate expression. The number
Of sOyereigns It's value represents over
balances many copies. Its companion
volume, the second part, by Charles
Cotton, was not issued from the press
until tTpnty-three years later and nat
urally increases the already stupendous
price when round with the earlier
work.
The perennial popularity Of oval
tons Angler Is very remarkable. Sell
dom year passes that does not Wit
ness its reissue in some form or other,
either delicate and dear for the con-
nOisseur's shelves or commonplace and
cheap for the travellers pocket. There
Is a charm about the book which time
apparently cannot destroy.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
A Storm on the Pacific.

The captain of San Francisco tug
thus describes storm on the Pacific:
when | say that the waves ran
mountain high | am not eXaggeratlng
the situation in the least. The tug
would be poised on the crest of a sea
and then be plunged down into valley
Of water which seemed mile below
us. At times the moon would come
out through the clouds. and in the un-
certain light the waves seemed twice
as high. The wind was blowing a per
feet hurricane, and our lee rail waShn-
der water all the time. The angry sea
appeared raging above, below and al
around us, and nearly every wave
into which we dipped would wash over
the tug. 1t was impossible to remain
aft. for the lower deck was flooded
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
ChnInnnEno.

There are two peculiaritles about
champagne drinking which are capable
Of explanation. The one Is the rap!dity
with which the wine eXhilarateS not
with standing tie small proportion OF
alcohol ii contains. This is due ~ the
carbonlc acid gas evolved, which Is IL
hailed while drinking, Tor 1t IS the prop
erty Of this gas TO expedite tie action
Of anything with which 1t Is associated.
1t is estimated that one glass OF cham
pagne is equal In effect 10 two glasses
OF still wine OF the same strength and
Is more rapid In action. The other pc
culiarity Is the sort OF lethargy or
deadness which follows after excessive
champagne drinking. This * analogous
TO the stupor produced by carbonlc acid
gas, but itSis assisted and Intensified
by the excess of sugar deranglng the
stomach. Tie undigeSted sugar turns
into acri. and thus it is that too much
champagne is apt to produce dyspep
Ci
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
4 Mathematical IncOnCruity.
10 10 - 0
loo - loo - 0

How is this, from an expert &C
countant:
10 10 - 0
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
4 Greater Scoundrcl.

A famous master Of Trinity college,
Cambridge, had been friend in earlier
days Of one Jenny Gordon, Il solicitor.
But Jenny went TO the bad, was
struck of the rolls and lived from
what he could get from old acluaint-
ances. One d;y lie net the master and
asked for n shilling
Gordon" thundcrod the master, "if
you could show lie greater scoundrel
than yourself | would give you half q
crown" And he stalheI stihly away
to his rooms. In half an hours time
the butler announced that Mr.. Pom
pous, the esquire LcGdlc. wished to see
the master. Now. the master had a
special dctCs.at.on of the bcadlc, who,
when admitted and curtly asked what
he wanted. replied
Mr.. Gordon Informed me that you
desired TO see ne"
Said the master. Gordon has made
an ass of YOU"
In ten minutes more the butler came
again, grinn.ng AMI said:
"Mr. Jenny Gordon has called and
says You owe him half a crown, SIR
Newcastle Chronicle.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15

Glass can be cut without diamond,
and the way is very simple. Dip Il
piece OF common string in alcohol and
squeeze it reasonably dry. Then tie
the string tightly around the glass Oh
the line OF cutting. Touch a match 70
the string ana .tt II burn off. The
heat Of the burning string will weaken
the glass In this asticular place. While
1t is hot plunge the glass under water,
letting the arm go under well to the
elbow. 50 there VII be no vibration
when the glass l. struck. With the
free hand strike the glass outside the
line Of cutting, giving a quick. sharT
stroke with any long fat instrument.
such as stick Of wood or a long
bladel knife. and the cut will as clean
and straight as il made by a regular
glass cutter.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
"Clectrined."

The startling physiological effects or
electricity upon the human system full
ly warrant the use of the word as
superlatiye term to express enthusias-
tic conditions. This expression must
have come into use at an early day.
soon after Franklin made the static
electrical machine a matter Of general
knowledge, for Thomas Jefferson In
his autobiography stated, "Paine's
Common Sense electrified US" Thom-
as Paines book was issued Jan. l,
1776. and as Jefferson's autobiography
was founded on his diary 1t IS probable
that the sentence was written by JEFF
ferson Mt the same tme.-Electrical Re
view
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
The Mace.

The mace was originally a potent
weapon of O1ense, originating doubt
less IL that earliest and most common
weapon, the wooden club. 1t was an
essential part OF a knights accOuter-
uent. being useful at close quarters.
Tor ready convenience It was hung Mt
his saddlebOw. Says an ancient poem
And with his heavy mase OF STEELE
Thcn he gave tho kying his dele.
Tie besague and bastOn were varied
forms Of the mace. The mace used on
horseback WAS 4 small weapon. usual
~ Of steel That used on foot was
much longer and commonly of wood,
with head armed with iron rings and
spikes. 1t was carried by the escort
Of magistrates and others as ready
protection against violence. AS socie-
tv Qulcted down and Its original use
fell into abeyauce the thing assumed
the ornamental appearance It now has.
+ now being carried I'm q mere honor
ary form.-NoteS and Queries.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
Ayers Pills greatly aid recovery.
Purely vegetable, gently laxative.
~SteaI Not This Book"

Students of sociology who are fond
0f tracing back the customs Of latter
day man ID the practices Of bis re-
mote ancestry will note with interest
the fact that there Is authority at least
800 years Oil for the entry, "Steal not
this book for fear Of shame" by which
schoolboys proclaim their ownership OF
Il work.
In n curious volume in the Bodleian
library, formerly belonging to the
monastery Of RObertsbridge in Sussex,
is the following inscription: This
book belongs to ST. Mary Of Roberts
bridge. Whoever shall steal ii or sell
it n in any way ALLEVIATE it. let him be
anathema maranatha."
n the course Of the fourteenth cen
tuly the book came into the posses
sion Of John. bishop Of Exeter who
seems 10 have been somewhat troubled
by the inscription as being likely 70
give rise TO Injurious suspicious with
regard to himself. Accordingly be
wrote underneath It under date 1927
az John. E.shop Of Exeter, know nor
where the aforesaid house *. nor die
I teal this book, b.l acquired 1t IN q
Lawful. wdy."-London ADVERTISE
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
Notice Your Waiier.

"Dld YOU wait on me" asked the
man at the corner table.
mo, sir" said the tail waiter.
"Then who didY' grumbleI the cor
ner man.
II don't know, sir" was the reply.
You'd better ask the head waiter"
The corner man did ask, but the chief
Of the staff was no wiser than his as
sistant.
What kind OF looking man was hep
he asked.
How should l know stOrmed the
hungry diner. Il didn't come here TO
make study of walters faces.
came to get something to eat, and If
somebody doesn't hurry up
The head walter stepped aside too
soon to hear the rest OF the complaint.
"IIe Is like nlnety-nine out Of n hun
dred men that dine out" he remarked.
None Of them knows his waiter.
There would be much less confusion
If people would be a little more OBJ
serving. Any man can take a peep at
his waiter without loss OF dignity.
However, few DO, and as cOnse-
quence they hail every man that passes
with the query, Are you the fellow
that waited on meT New York Post.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15

Il wou1or what's thc matter wiz
that horse" said g'nn TO bis wifi
while he was In the act - unhitchin
The animal Tie Il-se Uas rearing an,
piunZ.ng AMI iii playing signs of terro
whenever his master came near him
\ pas>criy CANE To his aid, and whii'
quietiu2 Tie animal explained % IL
owner. II noticed said lie. that yo'
lust came on: of the loo over there. .
slight scent Of tie l.ill animals hI
chung To your clothing. and. althouS.
your horse has probably never seel
ANYTHING wilder than COW. his iI
Stinct tells him dat where that seen
IS there Is danger. Il VIII wear Of
soon ana you viii have 10 more trou
bic. Philadelphia Record.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
G0Ine WOrda.

Spider" is less attractive word
than spinner" but 1t Is really the
same. "Spither," the earlier form OF
the word, stood for "spinther," mean
ing spinner-the disappearance Of the
m before the 18th" being compensated
for by the lcngtheuing Of the vowel
just as tooth" really represents
"tonth" There was once In use another
word for the creature. that was ugly
enough in meaniDg-"attercop," which
appears In Wycllfs Bible. II signi
fles poison bunch and is still used IN
the north Of England and In Antrim
Ireland, as an mcompllmentary term
for shrcwish person. From after
cop" or from Il similar use Of "cop" or
"cob." bunch, TO mean a spider
comes "cobweb"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
Clever With Her Mnnfh.

To write and even to sew By means
Of the lips and tongue alone would
seem sheer lmposSlbIllty, and yet
Or. Rubinstein of Wertheim-On-Main.
a medical expert of reputation IN Ger
many, according TO the London Globe.
vouches for having himself seen an
authentic instance The case was that
Of q young girl, paralyzed in all her
limbs from the age Of seven to four
teen, when she died. This afflicted III
tic creature, by triumph Of Will and
patience than which, IN its own way,
few finer achievements have been re-
corded. trained lips ana tongue to do
the work Of the hand. and to 10 1t well,
for she could not only sew, but could
do il with neatness and speed. even ar
ranging pieces of light stun IN their
places by the same means In three
weeks she embroidered designs IN SILK
on q piece Of canvas some yards long.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
4 Green Old Age.

a green old age" Is n phrase often
grossly abused. IT Is literal transla-
ton Of VirSil's description Of Charon.
the ferryman of the neither regions.
The poet speaks OF him as Jam senior,
sed cruda deo vlrldisque senectus"
somewhat aged. but his godship's old
age was still fresh and green). This
we might say Of hale sexagenarian.
but to talk. rs we do, Of the green old
age of Il nonagenarian, however bale.
Is sheer nonsense.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
Cromwell and Christmas.

During the commonwealth in Eng
land, when purltanical feeling held
sway, many determined efforts were
made TO put down what were termed
superstitious festivals and among these
that of Christmas day. The holly and
the mistletoe bough were to be cut up
root and branch as plants OF the evil
one. Cakes and ale were held 10 be I'M
pious offerings to superstition. Thus in
1647 the Cromwell party ordered
throughout the country by the mouth
Of the common crier that Christmas
should no longer be observed.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
Wolseley's Opinion of the Chinese.

Wolseley's Opinion of the Chfnese'
II was Lord Wolseley who regarded
the Chinese as the greatest race in the
world. His opinion was formed ABOUT
1860. when he was In China, and ne
never renounced II. He said to rep
resentative Of the Strand Magazine:
"The Chinese people possess all the
elements of being n great people. They
have courage. physical power and alb
solute contempt for death. Today in
that country soldering is looked down
upon. Only. the failures in life enter
the army. Let a Bismarck or a Ma
poleon rise up among them, and in two
generations they would be the greatest
nation and conquering power i'll the
world. They only need a leader Give
them progress, and they will conquer
Three hundred years ago they were
the head of the world, but their growth
was stunted. China wants a modern
man with modern ambitions Let their
leader come. and they must revive
again"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
AntIauity Of Chairs.

Chairs were in use in Egypt so long
ago as 1899 b. {. The Chinese EN-
bloyed them from about 1900 b. c. In
India they were used and are men
toned as dating from 100 B. {.
House chairs with backs were in use
IN India A. ID. 800 They are known TO
have been employed in Rome so early
as A. ID. 20, being mentioned by Pliny
at that date Chairs with foot rests
were used In Rome \. ID. 80.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
Costly Curds.

The Empress Catherine, noticing that
the beautiful Mile. Potocka, who had
lately come to court had no pearls, i'm
mediately commanded a fancy dress
ball, to which the girl was hidden to
come as a milkmaid. Then while Mile.
Potocka was dancing the empress slip
ped a superb necklace of pearls into
the pail she carried and at her exclama-
ton of wonder said, 1T Is only the
milk which has cu-dled."
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
Crc.ccnt shaped Rolls.

The little horseshoe shaped rolls IL
be seen In every bakers shop in the
world have an interesting history. In
1857 Vienna was besleged by the
Turks. They were about to enter the
town by an underground passage that
they had dug when the bakers, who
work all night In order to deliver hot
bread in the morning. gave the alarm
The authorities were so grateful they
allowed them to manufacture break
fast roll in the shape of the crescent
moon. which is device of the Turkish
banner.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
WASTE and Poverty.

With regard to waste, which lies at
the foundation Of nearly all poverty,
the working classes have exalted 1t In
to a principle of action. An English
servant, as a rule, wastes as much or
her employers substance as possible.
When she marries and has children she
continues to be wasteful In her own
home.-LondOn Hospital.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15

Wien BaTas introduced Napoleon to
The co.5o1tJu as nj man 10 be in
trl te, wi;h Tie command the presi-
den, a,l d:
Are you willing 10 undertake the
deranSe CT tn ronyontiOnY
Yes" Vas the reply. After n time
the president continued:
Are YOU aware OF tie magnitude OF
tn, undcrtaGingY
"rerfectiy." replied Napoleon, GXing
his eyes apon his questioner, and.
an in the haLit CT accomplishing that
which undertake"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
4 Doub1e Bull.

A double bull in single sentence
was perpetrated by the late John Hoi
lingshead, an Englishman. He wrote
when Lord Mohun was killed he was
living in MacclesfeId house, Gerard
street, Soho, at the back of Leicester
house, site now occupied by the de
funct Pelican club"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15

What. may | ask. WAS the keencst
disappointment Of your careerT asked
the anxious interviewer.
The great finaacicr stared coldly at
tn Ink bottle. 1T was when / was
four years I'D, think" be drawled,
when l woke up one morning AID
found NY red balloon shrunken TO one
fourth the size of the day before
Detroit Free Press
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
Th. Art NJ 4oipr yotbinx

There is a side of life for which n!
preparation at all Is made. No life Is
or can be one Of unremitting work.
Sooner or later every one has day of
and I'm nine cases out OF ten has never
been taught how TO use 1t. In the
schools OF our Utopia there will bt
professors OF the great art Of doing
nothing, of sitting on a gate."-LOn-
don Saturday Review.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15

But" said the lawyer. your case
seems hopeless. | don't see what
can do for you. You admit that you
beat your wife"
Yes" replied the defendant, but
my wifes testimony will discount that
She'd never admit that she was beat
cr,
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
A Pleasant Freak.

~ Just peeped into the parlor as
passed" said Mr.. Phamley, land l saw
quite freak Of nature
"Why, Bertha is there with her yount
man."
"Yes. I saw two heads on one pail
Of shoulders"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
Nlndicrfcd.

81 congratulate you. | understand
you have been vind,cltcl."
"Triumphantly. Johnson. AT the first
trial the jury disagreed: ut tile secon0
trial my lawyers found flaw In %
Indictment, and the case was thrown
out cs court. Chicago TrlDine.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
Worse Than She Thought.

Aunt-But l thought you understood
that George is n poor young man when
you became engaged to him. Niece
OF course did. but didn't Imagine II
went so far as his not being able to get
new automobile till next season.
Judge.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
sydney Smiths Wit.

"By Jove." said country squire wGo
had got the worst of an argument witt
Sydney Smith. III had a son who was
a donkey Id make a parsOn of him
straight away"
Possibly" returned the wit. "bu'
your father was evidently Of d!ifcren
mind"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
Physical Evidence.

"Do you know" said Sunday school
teacher, addressing new pupil In the
infant class, that you have soul%
Course I do" replied the little fel-
low, placing his hand over his heart.
II can feel it tick."-Moberly New
Monitor
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
Sunnlied "a DehcienCS.

Mr. GOOdman-JameS, the gentlemen
YOU gave rs reference tells me you're
not very truthful Jimmy (the office
boy)-Well, say, yer sich truthful guy
versel' yer need an ablebodied liar
like me- round der place.-Philadelphia
Press.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15

Little Walter was. told to write a
composition containing the word sci
DOM" This is what he handed up to
the teacher:
my father owned some horses but
last week he seldom"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
No Views.

Mrs. Gusliington l suppose. now
that you have been abroad, you have
your own views Of foreign life? Mrs
Newrich-N0. we amt got no views
We didn't take no camera; it's so com
mon
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
Their Descent.

"Oh. yes" she said proudly. we can
trace our ancestry lack tO-t)-weH, l
don't know who, but we've been de-
scendIng for centuries. ."-Philadelphia
Telegraph.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
Clever Reparfee.

An officer Of the United States army
tells of young woman In crowded
street car who when a young man
stood up to give her seat exclaimed,
You're a jewel" ION the contrary,
the young man replied: II am q jewel
er. / set the jewel
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
IItH Nap.

"IIow late do you usually sleep on
Sunday morning.
We'll, it nil depends"
depends on what?'
"The length OF the sermon"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15

By axiom things equal 10 the same
thing are equal To each other; hence
1910 equals l00-10O
Divide each side of the equation by
1910, and the result is | equals 10.
Figures will lie, even women s.-New
York Press.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15

There are but few proverblal sayings
that are not true. for they are Oil
drawn from experience itself. which Is
che mother of all science.-Cervantes.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
Man and the Dog.

We are alone, absolutely alone, on
this chance planet, and amid all the
forms Of life that surround Us not one,
excepting the deg. has made an alliance
with Us. \ few creatures fear us.
most are unaware Of Us and not one
loves us.-From Il Maeterlink Essay.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
Times Driver.

Binks-Time runs on, eh? Now. what
makes time run on? Bunks-The. spur
of the moment, suppose.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
The Marriage Fee.

"a marriage fee" says the cynical
bachelor, demonstrates that even the
clergy may profit by the mistakes
Of others ."-PhiladeIphIa Record.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
A Juvenile Thrust.

Mother-Remenber. Tommy. an an
gel Is watching over you. Tommy
Aw. ma, don't be conceited!-Chicago
News.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15
Shenandoh Herald


ADV tiseuents VII ts ilseHed
at one douar per square OF zen ines
or less for the first inseI soa and %
cents .Or each subsequent insertion.
~ Quarterly or yearly ad,sr-
lseu ents by contract.
sg- Unless the number Of lnsef,
tiOns is marked upon the manu-,
script, advertisements Will b. pub.
lished until forbidden and charge
accordingly
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1905-09-15

$500 each will be given to
able the full Of the school, but who are sum
M education willing to assist the houekeeper in the care
hed