The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-21

coward. 1 could no more ask for the
glove than I could have asked for your
.'Yet you might have had both for the
asking she said tenderly.
Copyright, 1905, by Beatrix Reade3
HUMOR OF THE DAY
-
sOnce in "a WHILE said Uncle Eben.
'.you'n hear a man sayin he regrets f1s
past when de fact is dat he's afraid u1
his future. "-Washi7sr9n star
..cabman! cabman!!. surely you're go
ing out OF your way. 5ieSs me- hl0lls
you give me quite turn; d forg2teen
all about yer, an1 was driving back to
the stables '-Punen.
II hear you carry quite a considerable
life Insurance" Yes" For whose benz
eft are you insured2'' Il won't know my-
Baltimore American.
scientist, lately?' Yes I listened 70
him for more than an ,, hour at the e1go
ing ab0ut?'' He didn't say. Puck.
First stranger-"so you are from
Idaho. How does a woman run for
office?' Second Stranger-"Just like she
runs for a street car. You never know
for certain which side she is running
''Give me just two minutes" said the
book agent; III DO more .. than, that
three minutes to reach the elevator. and
when you get outside you can have all
day. '-Philadelphia Ledger.
Teacher What is Ceres the goodies
dess of continued storiesf'-Iife.
Policeman There Is no sleeping. al
lowed here!' Tramp-"There afn't2
Then what are you doing herr? "-Puck-
Mrs. sax-.Here's story about one Of
the directors Of an insurance company
becoming a burglar" Mr.. Eax-"DoeB ft
say what induced him to reform7''--
Brooklyn Life.
Lawyer-''Your honor. the witness is in
toxicated. I can't get anything out OF
Prisoner Then ven have to hurry. Hes
soberin,' sor. 7-Cisveland Leader.
what would you do if the people of
your state were to cIamor for your resig-
swered Senator Sorghum, land keep
closer eye than ever on the legislature"
Washington Star.
Daughter-"oh, mamma, I do wish
/ were pretty Mother-'sYOu needn't,
dear; sensible men think very little about
| sible men I'm thinking about. mamma;
it's Charlie Town and Country.
you appear to have. Travelled a great
DEAL said the first passenger do you
ma that the people OF any one 1ocalty
are more cordial or hoospitable, than
other, q can't say that I do; most every
body asks me to call again and" MY,
a bill collector. @Philadeiphia Press
Mr.. O'Rourke (who has been quarreiing
/ with a visitor)-"Now, remember, Jane,
the next time you let that man in you're
to shut the door in his face!"-Punch-
would-be Chorus 'slarnIna. says
Bring me a recommendation from the
| rest of the fat and III engage you
Knicker-"Aren't you tired of getting
makes for YOU'RE Booker Yes: but this
an unsigned cheek."-Judge.
t,o ~Ayfo! Jam st st Mrs Binslebuns reoep-
yes, it was. There was such a. crowd
in the dining room that I couldn't find
/ get my coffee cup to my lips."-Cieve-
land Plain Dealer.
Yeast-swhen I go home from the club
up tight Crimsonbealz--''T Well, You de-
that condition. ''-T onllers Statesman
The College Boy-''D Dad. I think I'll
tackle the Wall street game as soon as
i get my sheepskin' The Old Man
/ (dryly)-"Wen, believe that's the proper
Puck
Il assure you, said the persistent
sutton. that will not take no for an
answer" You needn't" replied Miss
Bright. I'll say yes upon one condi-
/ ton. And that is2' Just ask me il
am determined not to marry you under
any circumstances. 't-Phiiadelphfa Press
Backlotz-''What's this hear about
Mrs. Swellnan being robbed of her
1ewels2" Subbubs- Fact! They're gone
and Mrs Kraft is the guilty party
Backlotz-.WhatI You don't mean to say
she stole Subbubs-"What else can
you call it? She offered the cook six
dollars a week and the chanbernnaid five
dollars, and now she's got m."-Phiia-
delphia Ledger.