davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21
SHZNGJ
RWORTH KNOWING1

The oldest belfry In America is the
seven century old fir tree, eight feet
thick, that forms the spire Of St.
Peters Church, Tacoma, which is used
for the bell of the church.
After promising to get some fish for
dinner, Max Hartmann, having gOna
mad, went to the Hamburg Zoo, re-
moved a young alligator from a pond
and took it home for his wife to cook.
A large lump Of butter has been
found buried in an Irish bog. No one
knows how old it is. 1t is thought
that 1t is at least one hundred years
old, possibly ten centuries. The but
ter is said to be in excellent condition.
Statistics show that more people live
to be one hundred years old in warm
climates than in northern countries.
In Mexico there are many centen-
arians, for in towns not forty miles
from the capital are not few men
and women beyond the one hundred
year line.
A square foot of uncovered pipe,
filled with steam at one hundred pound
pressure, will radiate and dIssipate in
year the heat obtained by, the econ
omic combustion of 39S pounds of
coal. Thus ten square feet of bare
pipe corresponds approximately to the
waste of two tons of coal per annum.
A hotel which cost the builder S13,.
600 six years ago at Kettle Falls,
Wash, has been sold for 5000, and a
number of town lots were sold at
from five cents to S25 each. The sale
was made by the County Commission
crs on foreclosure for delinquent
taxes, and marked the end Of boom
town.
The snakes tongue proves to be a
most remarkable organ. A Maryland
woman student finds that its chief
function Is connected with sense Of
feeling without touch, and may be a
finer development of the sense that
enables some people to avoid striking
obstacles in the dark. The forked tip
and the numerous folds behind 1t
greatly increase the surface exposure.
The cells Of the epidermis are inter-
laced by net work Of extremely fine
nerve fibres, which centre in a deep
nerve plexus beneath the epirdermis
and extending out into the folds.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21
DUCK HUNTING IN JAPAN.
ArtiRciality Combined with Nature IN
Capturing the Birds.

Marquis Kuroda's pond is some ten
acres in extent. Around its entire cir
conference a great moundlike wall
some fifteen feet in height has been
thrown up, and upon its summit and
slopes a dense canebrake has been
planted, which rises some thirty feet
more in the air, and absolutely cuts of
all vision Of the interior expanse Of
water. At intervals of some thirty
yards, for half the circumference of the
circle and on the landward side, bitches
about six feet deep and five feet wide
have been dug. These bitches with the
waters of the lake some eighteen inches
deep in them, are about a hundred
feet long, banked with earth and
sodded on each side, some three feet
above the surface Of the surrounding
land. Where they enter the lake two
right-angled turns are made, which as
sure complete screening Of the lake
from any outside view, or vice versa.
A thousand tame ducks are kept in
this lake to decoy the wild ones into
the byway feeding bitches.
When the ducks once enter the ditch
and begin feeding, the warden pulls the
bell-wire and warns the host and his
guests at the house several hundred
yards away, and, as the birds approach,
he pulls second string, which con-
meets with and closes light wire gate
where the ditch debouches into the
lake. The duck are thus trapped in
deep, narrow ditch, from which they
have no escape except in upward flight.
The netsmen hurry to either side of
the bank-protected ditch, and line up
along its entire length, with their long
poled nets held rigidly and their eyes
fixed on the cut in the earth. A war
den creeps to the rear end Of the ditch
and cautiously peeps over. With
series of frightened squawks and a
splashing and Tapping of many wings,
the terrified birds rise like bullets
from the water; the nets sweep through
the air and are brought bottom side
up on the rearward side, when few of
the most lucky are found to have
threshing, loudly quacking duck en-
meshed therein.-William Didwiddie,
in Harper's Weekly.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21
FINDS 1T Is NOT POISON.
Darky Explains His Intellectual Efforts
to Commit Suicide.

There was man in Atlanta who
once suspected colored man in his
employ of tampering with the contents
of his wine cellar, especially with
certain brand of fine whisky. The
employer decided to adopt measures
to verify his suspicious. He allowed
the demijohn holding his private
stock" to become empty; then, in
stead of refilling it, he placed his pet
brand in bottles, labelling each one
poison"
One evening, on returning home un-
expectedly, he caught his servant in
"fagrante delicto." Selling the bottle
from the darky's hand the Atlanta
man exclaimed, in a tone of horror.
Great heavens. Sam! do you know
what you have been doing? This bot
tie is marked poison!
The negro took the bottle and sur
veyed it closely. Then he shifted at
it. A melancholy smile fitted over
his dusky countenance. "'Tain't pizen,
sah." he said, dejectedly. Use been
fooled ag'in"
Fooled again." repeated the mas
ter. Indignantly. What do you
mean?"
well. sah." continued the darlky, in
the same tone of depression, lit am dis
way. knowed from de fust. from de
way you acted bout dat demijohn, dat
you had yo' suspishuns OBJ me: an dat
sho' made me feel pretty blue. l got
distressed, an didn't care. Why, sab,
TO mos two weeks now Ise been tryin'
to commit suicide outer dat bottle
Woman's Home Companion.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21

when alone in the house the back
ache has been SO bad that 1t brought
tears to my eyes. The pain at times
was SO intense that l was compelled
to give up my household duties and lie
down. There were headaches, dizzi-
ness and blood rushing to my head to
cause bleeding at the nose. The first
box OF Doan's Kidney Pills benefited
me SO much that continued the treat
ment. The stinging pain in the small
Of my back, the rushes OF blood to the
head and other symptoms disappear
ed"
Doan's Kidney Pills for sale by all
dealers. so cents per box. Foster
Nilburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The airship looks down on the auto
mobile but the auto doesn't get soar
about it.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21
China's Wealth OF Coal.

According to an estimate issued by
the British Royal Commission China
las $4,000 square miles of coal pro.
ducing lands, the United States 2OO.-
900, Canada $4,000, Great Britain 49,
600. France 5000 and Germany 100.
With all Its claims of ancient civiliza-
tion, China has never yet wakened up
to the productive uses of coal, though
it seems to have more of 1t than exists
in any other country.-St. Louis Globe.
Democrat.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21
A sCHooLBoY PEss1,11sT.

The irrepressible boy is little ami
NAL who has no regard for the eternal
fitness of things. Recently a school in
this vicinity was closed for day or
two on account of the death of vener-
urchin belonging to another school in
the neighborhood looked with envy
upon the children who We're given a
melancholy holiday.
Hal! he exclaimed as he saw them,
nothing ever happens at my school,"
Boston Beacon.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21

.Sm6r,Ings zUere frotraefed and Seve''e
Tried EVery hnoaOn Remedy Ipilhonf
Rclicf-.Srrious Stomach Trouble Cured
by Three Bottles Of Pernnai
Capt. w. w. Jackson, 705 G ST., N. W.,
Washington, D. c., writes:
81 am eighty-three years old, a vet
eran of the Black Hawk, Mexican and
the Civil Wars. I am by profession u
physician, but abandoned the same.
"Some years ago was seriously af-
fecfed with cafarrh of the stomach.
MY sufferjngs were pr0fracfed and
severe. tried every known remedy
without obtaining relief.
"In desperation began the use OF
your Peruna. ! began to realize i'm
mediate though gradual Improvement.
! AFTER the use of three bottles every
appearance of my complaint was re-
moved, and l have no hesitation in
recommending it as an infallible rem
edy for that disorder. w. Jackson.
Address Dr. S. i. Hartman, President
of The Hartman Sanitarium, Colum-
bus, Ohio.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21
A TONIC BREATH.

In scarcity of new stories good
old one may bear repetition: A Scot in
hospital at Bloemfontein recovering
from an attack of enteric disease sug-
gested to the doctor that he would be
grateful for "wee drappie." mo.
no." said the doctor. DO you know
that your stomach is in such an ulcer
ated condition that spoonful of whis-
ky would kill you?" "Aweel, SIR" re-
piled the patient regretfully. II must
do without it; but, doctor, just come
up close to me-" The medical man
obliged. "Ah, DOCTOR" said the soldier,
signing contentedly, "yer breath's vera
refreshin'v'
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21
Charminq.

While Prof. Henry Drummond was
calling on friend on his last visit
here he was introduced to a party OF
American girls.
How very formal you are here
when you are introduced he said
Nov. in England we always shake
hands. What do you do here when you
say Goodbye
"Oh. we kiss said the youngest OF
the party. charming girl of 16.
"Ah. that's charming" responded
Prof. Drummond: Suppose we say
good-by right now
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21
A Crucial Moment in History.

Phythagoras had just finished his
lecture decrying the use of meat as
food. Suddenly holding up his hands
as a sign that he desired silence on
the part of his pupils, he said:
And, finally, would add that beans
are fit only for pigs to eat. They
produce stabismus. thus narrowing
the outlook of the consumer, and
cause fatty degeneration Of the
mind"
Realizing that he had burned his
bridges in front of him he walked
home, convinced that Boston would
never help to put meaning into his
tterances.-Chicago Record-Herald.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21
FROM SAME BOX
Where the Foods Come From.

Look here, waiter, honest now,
don't you dip every one Of these faxed
breakfast foods out Of the same box?"
"Well, yes, boss. we duz, all 'cept
Grape-Nuts, cause that don't look like
the others and people know 'zackly
what Grape Nuts looks like. But
there's bout a dozen different ones
named on the bill of fare and they are
all thin rolled flakes SO 1t don't make
any difference which one a man calls
for, we Just take out the order from
one box"
This talk led to an investigation.
Dozens Of factories sprung up about
three years ago, making various kinds
of breakfast foods, seeking to take the
business OF the original prepared
breakfast food-Grape-Nuts. These
concerns after a precarious existence,
nearly all failed, leaving thousands OF
boxes Of their foods In mills and ware
houses. These were in several in
stances bought up for song by spec
ulators and sold out to grocers and
hotels for little or nothing. The proc
ess Of working off this old stock has
been slow. One will see the names
on menus of flaked foods that went
out Of business a year and half or
two years ago. In few cases where
the abandoned factories have been
bought up, there Is an effort to resus-
citate the defunct, and by copying the
style of advertising Of Grape-Nuts,
seek to influence people to purchase.
But the public has been educated TO
the fact that all these thin faxed
foods are simply soaked wheat or oats
rolled thin and dried out and packed.
They are not prepared like Grape
Nuts, in which the thorough baking
and other operations which turn the
starch part Of the wheat and barley
in:o sugar, occupy many hours and re-
suit in a food so digestible that small
infants thrive on it, while 1t also con-
tans the selected elements of Phos-
phate of Potash and Albumen that
unite in the body to produce the soft
gray substance in brain and nerve
centers. There's a reason for Grape
NUS, and there have been many imi-
tatiOns, a few of the article itself, but
many more Of the kind and character
OF me advertising. Imitators are al
ways counterfeiters and their printed
and written statements cannot be ex-
pectsd to be different than their
goods.
This article Is published by the
Postum Co. at Battle Creek. Addition.
al evidence Of the truth can be sup
piled In quantities.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21
Got Even With Judae sewaIl.

Judge Sewall and Joseph Story were
dining together at an inn, when a jolly
son of Erin appeared at the door and
called for dinner. The landlord told
him he could eat when the gentlemen
had finished.
Let him dine with u.s." whispered
Judge Sewall, "and we will have some
fun with him."
The Irishman took his seat at the
table.
You were not born in this couu.
try?" said Story.
mo, was born in Ireland"
rs your father living?"
NO sir"
What was his occupation?"
Trading horses, sir"
Did he ever cheat any one?"
II suppose he did, sir"
Where do you suppose he went to?''
TO heaven, sir"
HAS he ever cheated any one there?"
He has cheated one man, believe" I"
Was he prosecutor"
HE was not. sir"
"Why not?"
Because they searched the kingdom
of heaven for a lawyer to take the
case and couldn't find one"
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21
A CONFESSION.

A Kansas man appeared the ether
day with big three-cornered scar on
the side Of his face, which looked sus-
piciously like the print of the heel of a
lady's shoe, and when friend who
had not seen him for a long time met
him. and with surprise asked him.
why, jim, how did you get that aw-
full SCARF" he replied, THAT is birth
mark" His friend exclaimed: "Impos-
sible; you did not have it when boy"
No." he replied, "but it is birthmark
just the same. You see, when l was
coming home from the West was rid
ing in a sleeping car and tried to get in
the wrong BERTH"
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21
pesiqn for TaiIor's Stationery.

A gentleman called last week at a
large stationer's to order some note
paper with a heading. On being shown
various designs, monograms, etc,
NO" he said. Il want something sim
pler-just a flower, forget-me-not."
Put, sir. that would surely be more
suitable for a young lady"
Il know what want was the
prompt reply; Il am tailor, and the
paTsi is for my customers
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21
JoNAH's QUEER soJoURN.

JONAHS QUEER SOJOURN.
"A well-known church speaker of BOs-
ton, who is associated with the Tire
mont Temple of that city, finds the
presence of his wife In his audience
the greatest obstacle he has to contend
with in delivering discourse. Her
occasional disapproval Of the utter
ances from the platform outlines itself
on her countenance in most dispirit-
ing way, and the lecturer tells of the
following experience wherein a slip Of
the tongue was brought to his notice in
this manner:
He was getting along toward the
middle of an address one evening when
a glance in his wife's direction and the
distressed look on the good woman's
face made him aware that something
had gone wrong. 1t was with very
uncomfortable feeling that he finally
brought his talk to close, and as soon
as an opportunity was given him he
hastened to her side.
'Well, my dear" he asked, "what
was wrong with my address tonight? ?
The look on your face suggested trou-
BILE of some Sort
''Nothing of great consequence" was
the answer, "only you referred to Jo-
nah's remaining three days and three
nights in the whale of the belly and
you contrived to repeat the expression
three times."-Ned Barney, in Lippin-
colts.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21
Patient, Indeed,

The old colored deacon accosted the
parson on tine roadside.
"Pahson," he began, "Ah want to
ask yo question. Who was the most
patient man on earf?" p
why, bruddah," responded the par,
son, JOB was, OBJ cose."
NO, sab! All tell yo' Noah was"
EN- how do yo' make dat out?"
"Why, Noah had two skeeters on de
ark en- carried dem around foh forty
days en- nights. Eff he cud resist
slarpin' ct dem all dat time he was de
most patient man on earf."-Chicago
News.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21
Droll Stories Of the.
Passing Moment. <

WANTED HIS MONEYS WORTH.
big John" is one of the celebrated
features of Harvey's restaurant. He
has been waiter there for years and
knows all the leading men in the coun-
try.
Yesterday man came in and sat at
one of Johns tables.
"I-ook here. boy" he said, 81 want an
oyster stew"
Yes, SIR said John. "What kind?"
The man looked at the bill of fare
oh" he said. Il don't want to pay
more than a quarter for it, but please
be careful to see that the milk Is per-
fectly sweet and not skinned and that
the butter you put in it is of the best
creamery brand. Observe also that
want the oysters boiled without the
liquor. When they are ready pour in
the liquor and be sure that l have the
finest brand. Do not put in those COM
mon oysters. Also add a small glass
of fine sherry. Do you understand"
"Yes, SIR" said John, Il think un-
derstand, but do you want the oysters
with or without:'
with or without what?" asked the
particular stranger.
Pearls. SIR" said John.-Washing-
ton Correspondence, in Chicago Inter-
Ocean.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21
ON THE SAFE SIDE

An old woman who persisted in bow
ing during church service whenever
the name of Satan was mentioned, was
reprimanded by the minister for so un-
seemly habit. The reproof had.
however, no effect, and the minister
asked her finally, in evaporation, why
she thought it necessary to bow.
"Well," she replied, "civility costs
nothing. and you never know what
will appen."-Harper's Weekly.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21

what l suf-
fered no one
W Ill e v e r
know. l used
about every
known rene
dy that is
said to be
good for kid
ney COM
plant. but
without de-
irving per.
manent re-
lief. Often
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21
The Chan1e in Jim.


They said that Jim was lazy, an he did
appear to be
A little bit a-workin in the harvest field
with me;
He couldn't, like the other hands, git
started in the swim,
Until lost my patience, and had to fire
him.
From there he went to Amosville an
got in Mortley's shop,
An sailed into the bizness like a reaper
through the crop.
Took hold of things in earnest-made a
good mechanic. too.
Till Mort remarked: Il don't see how he
ever lOafed fer YOU"
An which is why want to say that lots
of laZiness
Depends upon the job a man is workin'
at. l guess.
Just give man the job he likes, like
Jim liked in the shop.
An nine times out o ten, l guess. the
IaZiness II stop.
Detroit Tribune.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21
IN THE SOUP.
AXAKK K%X

An American lady went into 4
French hairdresser's establishment In
Berlin TO get shampoo. The proprie-
tor was a tall, Thin man. with all the
grace and suavity Of dancing master.
He came forward in haste as the door
opened.
'Ah, Madame weeshes treatment
for re scalp. Oui, yes" said he, bow
ing low with wide sweep Of the hand.
''Yes, and l have my own notions
about how it should be DONE" replied
the lady, glancing doubtfully about the
room, as If she felt she was putting
herself into the bands Of irresponsible
strangers. "Where do you keep your
preparations, sir?"
".Ah, ze ngredients-they are here,
Madame" said the artist, leading the
way to marble slab affixed to the wall
at the back of the room, upon which
there stood q long line of bottles and
jars.
The lady recognized many Of the
preparations and thus regained much
of her assurance.
us Madame ready?" asked the pro-
} pristor. .iso watt :, ror ,,,.,.. r,r.+
want some Of that" she said. pointing
to bottle.
The hairdresser nodded. ut ees my
pleasure, Madame"
"And then you may rub in some of
that" She pointed to a jar of famil-
lar lotion.
"Oui, zat will be excellent. Madame"
''Then good rubbing with that" she
went on, indicating an open bowl
which contained thin brown liquid.
"Mais, non!" cried the other. Mad
anne does not weesh it"
"Yes, l do" replied the lady sharply.
"But, Madame"
do as say. if you please" she in
terrupted in vexed tone.
The proprietor shrugged his shoul-
ders, but he did as he was bid. Every
thing went well except that the brown
liquid did not smell just as she had eX-
pected, and produced curious sensa-
ton of warmth as it was applied.
"Wasn't that brown liquid shampoo
mixture" she asked with growing
doubt as he finished.
mon, Madame" he replied politely;
II put it on because Madame inseests.
But you see, l was eating my-what
you call it? - lunch when Madame
came. Zis bowl contained my soup,
Madame"-R. W. Child, in Lippin-
colts.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21
WANTED ONLY THE BEST.

The yellow and red poster which
adorned big board fence in Macon,
Ga, announced that the circus was
soon to pitch tents in that city. Be-
meath the counterfeit presentment of Il
man on bicycle turning somersaults
in the air, says the New York Times,
a group of darkies were gazing open
mOuthed at this announcement, in let
ters of green: "Wait! Wait! Wait.
The Greatest Show on Earth, Sept. L."
"Ah amt agoin' to dat show" re-
marked one mulatto to his companion.
"Whah foh you amt goin?" she re-
piled, in disappointed tone.
"Ah's gwan to wait fob he othah
show wot's bettah," he said.
"They amt no bettah show" said
she.
"Yes, they is" was his rejoinder.
ut say so on dat bill. CANT you read ?
Greatest slrow on cath 'cept one"
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21
MIXED AS TO IMPLEMENTS.

Professor Robert D. Petty. of the
New York Law School, was telling his
students the other day Of the need that
lawyers occasionally have for little
knowledge of agriculture. II was re-
minded of this need the other day." he
declared, "when young attorney of
this city told me about his plans for
spending two or three days in the
country next summer. 4 want to go
Ito farm the young attorney said,
o'and for two or three days do farm
hands work. / want to shovel hay"
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21
A woMAN's MISERY.

Mrs. John La Rue. of 115 Paterson
Avenue, Paterson. N. j., says: II was
troubled for about nine years, and
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21
TEA

What is wealth to home
happiness?
Take a little more time
for .ea!
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21

When Answering Advertisements
Kindly Mention This Paper.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21

He who waits never leads a process
sion-cxcept in the company of an un-
dertaker.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-07-21

The Best Results In Starchina
can be obtained only by using De
fance Starch besides getting OF
more for same money-no cooking re.
quired.
". n. U.-DENVER-NO. 29-19O5.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-11

Or. and Mrs. q. NJ. Twitchcll went 10
Boston, Tuesday. where Mis-. TWitcnel.
will remain while the doctor fills 4 long
list of lecture engagements. commence
ing at Montpelier, VI. Thursday. From
there h@ Viii 50 10 Massachusetts. and
then to liartfOI Il. Conn.. and then on
- other St.tcS. At :ho urgent request
81 til. officials. he i to lecture at cob
hlcSkil, y. ". The home of State Com
mis-inn,.r W"Itim3 Of the New York
Department " Agriculture, Jan. 20.
Dr. TWitrhviI is able to fill but a
small part Of the calls from different
states ana provinces where advanced
agriculture! work. is being conducted.
lliring tn" last ," years he has iilI"!
appointments; many times before tn :
sam" bodies. and his going at this tim
att"sts the Hplr"Ciatinn If Ii" STAN
dar,is of agricultural work in III" stat"
uI Maine.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-11

Augusta has quite Il number nf tie
voices ni IT." art of Typography and
some Of the work which has been
turned out by them is Very pretty
Quite Il bit nf it WAS offered tor sale at
christmas time. and proved to b" pop
iII;r. some of thrs,' VINO do the work.
ho,,cv"r do il fur their own hmu$'-
n.rli. and i; seldom reaches the pun
lie eye. unless by accident it IS shown
uu,side TIN. household. Among IN
LITTER class may bt mention FL. rE
n Folsom. Mir. Frlsnm's days ara
husv ones. but that some of Ms even
mos are devoted to working on l"ath-
er and wood with the platinum POM.
ana Ia good advantage. is dttested ny
HE dainty bits Of artistic work wh;"i'
Il. sometimes c>hihits for I'll" idmira-
ton Of his friends. Th"st' are lT"''E
IN design. ana are executed with i
u,lirlrv NJ touch which shows mat ih'
M. who dies th"m is i master OF th'
art.