davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-06-16
COURT KNEW THE GAME,
And Took Judicial Notes Of tho Fin.
Points as They Were
Narrated.

Senator Clay, of Georgia, is looked
upon as one of the best raconteurs in
the upper house of congress. In negro
dialect stories he is inimitable, saws
the Louisville Courier journal. This
is his latest:
When Judge David Irwin was hold
ing court in1Marietta, ca, a negro wa:
brought before him for smashing the
nose OF companion while the two
were engaged in a supposedly friendly
game of cards. There were a dozen
witnesses who testified that there was
no provocation whatever, but that the
prisoner had suddenly leaned over The
table and smashed the nose of the
man opposite, nearly knocking that
organ out of place.
The belligerent was convicted of as
sault and battery and sentenced TO six
months imprisonment. The man had
in the past borne a good reputation
and Judge Irwin had known him for
years, and besides the judge was noted
for his clemenry to first offenders. So
he asked the prisoner, when the case
came before him for review, why he
had acted in such manner
You must have had some reason. "
! he said. Nov tell me all about it. Just
between ourselves''
"'Deed l did hab some reason,
jedge; deed | did" the negro blurted
! out. ledge, did you eber play sebon-
up?"
The stern dispenser of Justice de-
! clined' to answer the question
whether l play seven-up or not has
nothing to do with the case,' he said
! But 'ded it hab, jedge; it hab heaps
TO do wifi it, the negro insisted, fol
lessen you can play seben-up you cain 7
! understan' how this yere happened
; You see, jedge, me and that Niger
! ober dar was ylayin' and / dole The
! kairds and / turn up de nine-spot OF
spades, and l hab in my han the jack
and the ten and the deuce He beg
| and l glib i'm one, an den what you
think dat niger ODER dar done? He
, lead de ace oh spades an l put on my
deuce. Den what you think dat Niger
ober dar done? He lead de king oh
F.! spades and give him a hard look. but
l put on my ten. Den what you think
! that emery, low-down. sneakin' niger
done, jedge? He lead de queen Oh
spades. l put on my jack, and den
| just lean ober an smash he's nose
clean often he's face"
When order was restored the judge
! solemnly revoked the previous SEN
tence. II think that if the defendant
pays one dollar" he said, *tall the re-
! quirements of justice which the SOW
| ereign state of Georgia demands will
be bountifully satisfied
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-06-16

head out of water, but nothing showed
above the water where Garibaldi was
except red patch on his black pants.
Dad was yelling for help, and finally
the gondolier got his head out of tho
water, and said something that sound
cd like grinding a butcher knife on a
grindstone, and I yelled, too, and the
gondolas began to gather around u.s.,
and the two men were rescued. The
gondolier had been gondoling all his
life and he had never been in the water
before, and they thought it would
strike in and kill him, so they
wrapped him up in blankets and put
him aboard his canoe, and he looked
at me as though I was to blame. They
got a boat hook fastened in dads pants
and landed him in the gondola, and he
dripped all the way to our hotel, and
he smelled like fish market.
l asked Garibaldi, on the way to the
hotel, if he was counting his beads
when he was down under the water
with nothing but his pants out of the
water, and he said: you're dam
right but l don't think he knew the
meaning of the words, because he prob
ably wouldn't swear in the presence
Of death. Dad just sat and shivered
all the way to the hotel, but when we
got to our>room asked him what his
Idea was in jumping overheard right
there before folks, with his best
clothes on, and he said it was all Carl
baldls fault, that just as dad was get
ting a good grip on the paddle. the
gondolier heaved a long sigh. and the
onions in his breath paralyzed dad SO
he fell overheard.
Then you don't blame your little
boy, do you?" says I, and dad looked
at me as he was hanging his wet shirt
on chair Course not: YOU were
asleep in the cabin. But say, if I ever
hear that you did tip that gondola il
Will go hard with you," but I Just
looked innocent, and dad went on dry.
ing his shirt by charcoal brazier and
never suspected me. But am gettine
the worst of it. for dad and his clothes
smell so much like a clam bake that il
makes me sick.
Well. old friend, you ought to close
up your grocery and come over here
and go to Vesuvius and Pompeii with
us, where we can dry our clothes by
the volcano, and dig in the city that
was buried in hot ashes 1000 years
ago They say you can dig up mum
mics there that are dead ringers fo,
you. old man.
., come on. and have fun with US
Your friend.
HEENFRY
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-06-16

lean who owns stock in great corpora
tons. These beggars pay more taxes
than the dukes and things who live In
style. -.
l suppose dad never studied geogra-
ply, so he didn't know how Venice was
situated, so he told me to 60 oat and
order hack the first. morning we were
here, and we would go and see the
town. When I told dad there were no
hacks, no horses and no roads in
Venice ne said was crazy in my head
and wanted me to take some medicine
and stay in bed for few days, but
convinced him, when we got out
doors, that everything run by water,
and when I showed him the canal and
the gondolas, he remembered all about
Venice. and picked out gondolier that
looked like one dad saw at the world S
fair, and we hired him because he
talked English. All the English the
gondolier could use were the words
you bet your life" and you're dam
right but dad took him because it
seemed so homelike, and we have been
riding in gondolas every day.
On the water you can get away from
the beggars. This is an ideal exist
ence. You just get jim the gondola, I'M
der a canopy, and the gondolier does
the work. and you glide along between
buildings and wonder who lives there
and when they wake up. as all day
long the blinds are closed, and every
body seems to be dead But at night
when the canals are lighted, and the
moon shines, the people put on their
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-06-16
RAILROAD RATE LECISLA1lON
It Is Unconstitutional and Unneces-
sary to Confscate the Property
Of the Railways.

Testifying before the Senate Com
mittee at Washington, Interstate Com
merce Commission Prouty said in dis
cussing the proposition to give to that
Commission the power to regulate rail-
way rates:
Il think the railways should make
their own rates. think they should
be allowed to develop their own busi-
ness. have never advocated any law,
and am not now in favor Of any
law, which would put the rate making
power into the hands Of any COM
mission or any court. While it may be
necessary to do that some time, while
that Is done in some states at the pres
ent time, while it is done in some coun-
tries, am opposed to it. The
railway rate is property. It is all the
property that the railway has got. The
rest of Its property Is not good for
anything unless it can charge a rate.
Now 1t has always seemed to me that
when.a rate was fixed, If that rate was
an unreasonable rate, it deprives the
railroad company Of its property pro
tanto. It Is not necessary that you
should confiscate the property Of a
railroad; it is not necessary that you
should say that it shall not earn three
per cent. or four per cent. When
you put in a rate that is inherently
unreasonable, you have deprived that
company Of its rights, of it's property,
and the Circuit Court of the United
States has jurisdiction under the four
teenth amendment to restrain that.
l have looked at these cases
a great many times, and l can only
come to the conclusion that railroad
company is entitled to charge fair
and reasonable rate, and if any order
of commission, il any statute of a
state legislature, takes away that rate,
the fourteenth amendment protects the
railway company"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-06-16
~. - q" NJ q g .,5.S "a 81.
CAUGHT IN THE CURRENT.

Butter is now shipped to England in
large quantities from the fertile plains
Of Uruguay o =. -[~: ..-..
The Indians Of the Choctaw tribe, in
Indian territory, have formed good
roads association.
A. first aid to the injured outfit is
habitually carried on the automobile OF
the king of England: .-->. ...~.s
An Oyster Bay man has left $500 to
clergyman who was kind to him during
an attack of hiccoughs.
A New York concern which proposes
to raise spruce trees for the lumber has
recently imported from Germany 10
hampers, each of which contains 1900
young trees.
In the pope's treasure house are two
crowns which are valued at $4,000, 900.
One Of them was the gift of Napoleon to
Plus VII, and contains the largest emer-
aid in the world. The other, the gift Of
Queen Isabella of Spain to Plus TX,
weighs three pounds and is worth
100000.
''1n all my daily walks and rides for
miles here and in the streets of Toxic, -
says traveller, Il never heard an Of
fensive word applied to me- nor saw an
unfriendly face. Nor in the Quieter
streets did ever see what is so common
In China, women and children darling
In and boiling the doors on the ap-
proach of a foreigner. Even the dogs
here are friendly and never bark at you. -
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-06-16
Dad Plays he Is an Anarchist in
Geneva-In Venice They Give Aims
and the Bad Boy Upsets Con-
dola in the Grand Canal.
BY HON. GEORGE w. PECK,

BY HON. GEORGE w. PECK
dEX-Governor of Wisconsin, Formerly Pub
Usher Of Pcck's Sun, Author Of "Peck's
Bad Boy Etc)
Copyright, 1905. by Joseph 3. BoWles)
VENICE, ITALY.-MY DEAR OLD
CHUMIRENO: Dad couldn't get out OF
Switzerland quick enough after he got
thawed out the day after we climbed
the GLACIERS. We found that almost all
the tourists in Geneva were there be-
cause they did not want to go home
and say they had not visited Switzerland
SO they just jumped from one place to
another. The people who stay there
any length of time are like the foreign
residents of Mexico, who are wanted
for something they have done at
home, that is against the law. There
are more anarchists in Geneva than
anything else. and they look hairy and
wild eyed, and they plot to kill kings
and drink beer out of two quart jars.
When We found that more attention
was paid to men suspected of crime in
their own countries, and men who were
believed to be plotting to assassinate
kings, dad said it would be a good
joke if a story should get out that he
was suspected Of being connected with
syndicate that wanted TO assassinate
some one. SO I told a fellow that got
acquainted with that the fussy old man
that tried to ride glazier without
any saddle or stirrup was wanted for
attempting to blow up the president
Of the United States by selling him
tailed hay soaked in solution of dy-
Mantle and nitro-glycerine
Say. they will believe anything in
Switzerland It wasn't two hours before
long haired people were inviting dad
to dinners, and the same night he was
taken to a den where a lot of anar-
chists were reveling, and dad reveed
till almost morning. When he came
back to the hotel he said his hosts got
all the money he had with him.
through some game he didn't under
stand, but he understood it was to 20
into a fund to support deserving anar-
chists and dynamiters. He said when
they found out he was a suspected as
sassfn nothing was too good for him
He said they wanted to know how he
expected to kill president by soaking
baled hay in explosives. and dad said
It came to him suddenly to tell them
that the president rode on horseback
good deal. and he thought if a horse
was filled with baled hay and nitro
r1ycerine and the president spurred
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-06-16

dress clothes and sit on verandas, or
eat and drink, and talk Eyetalian, and
ride in gondolas, and play guitars, and
smoke cigarettes, and talk love. 1t
is so warm you can wear your sum-
erpants, and the water smells of clans
that died long ago. 1t is just as
though Chicago was flooded by the
bursting of the sewers, and people had
to go around State street, and all the
cross streets, and Michigan avenue. in
fishing boats, with three feet Of water
on top of the pavements. Imagine
the people of Chicago taking gondolas
and riding along the streets, landing
at the stores and hotels, just as they
do now from carriages
We had been riding in gondolas for
two days, getting aground in the mud
when the tide was out, and going to
sleep and waiting for the tide to come
in. when it seemed to me that dad
needed some excitement, and last night
| gave it to him.
We were out in our SOndOla, and the
moon was shining. and the electric
ilSoil'o maui Tic tdudl near tHc nldltO
bridge as light as day The Rialto
bridge crosses the Grand canal. and
has been the meeting place for lovers
for thousands of years 1t is a grand
structure. of carved marble. but it
wouldn't hold up a threshing machine
engine half as we'll as an iron bridge.
Well, the canal was filed with thou
sands of gondolas, loaded with the
flower of Venetian society, and the
music just made you want to fall in
love. Dad said if he didn't fall in love.
or something, before morning. he
would quit the place. I made up my
mind he should fall into something, so
I began by telling dad it seemed
strange to me that nobody but Eye
italians could run gondola Dad said
he could run gondola as we'll as any
foreigner. and I told him he couldn't
run gondola for shucks. and he said
he would show me. so he got out of
the hen house where we were seated
and went back on to the pointed end
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-06-16

the horse and the horse jumped in the
air and came down kerchunk on an
asphalt pavement, the horse would ex-
rlode. and when the rider came down
covered with sausage covers and horse
meat, he would be dead. or would want
TO be. Dad said the anarchists went
into executive session and took up a
collection to send man to Berlin to
fill the emperors saddle horses with
cut feed like dad suggested.
We'll, the anarchist story was too
much for Switzerland, and the next
morning dad was told by policeman
that he had to get out of the country
quick, and it didn't take us Is minutes
to pack up, and here we are in Venice.
Well, say, old friend, this is the place
where You ought to be. because nobody
doliers. We have been here several
days, and | have not seen a soul do
ing anything except begging, or SELL
ing things that nobody seems to want.
If anybody buys anything but onions.
1t is for curiosity, or for souvenirs, and
yet the whole population sits around
in the sun and watches the strangers
from other lands price things and go
away without buying. and then every
body looks mad. as though they would
like to jab knife into the stranger.
The plazas and the places near the
canal are filled with hucksters and
beggars, and you never saw beggars so
mutilated and sore and disgusting. I
never supposed human beings could
be so deformed, without taking an ak
to them, and it is so pitiful to see
them that you can't help shedding your
money.
AS hard hearted as dad is, he
coughed up over $40 the first day, Just
giving to beggars. and he thought he
had got them all bought up, and that
they would let him alone. but the next
day when he showed up there were ten
beggars where there was one the day
before, and they followed him every
where, and all the loafers in the
plazas laughed and acted as if they
would catch the crippies when dad got
out of sight and rob the bessars. Dad
thinks the way the people live is by
dividing with beggars. A man who has
deformity, or sore that you can see
half a block away. seems to be con-
cldersd rich here. like man in Amer
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-06-16

of the gondola: and grabbed the pole
or paddle from the gondolier and said:
Now. Garibaldi. you go inside the
pup tent with Hennery, and let me
punt this ark around awhile"
Garibaldi thought dad was crazy,
but he gave up the pole, and just then,
when they were both on the extreme
point Of the gondola, and she was
wahbling some, peeked out through
the curtains and thought the fruit was
about ripe enough to pick, so threw
myself over to one side of the gondola.
and. by gosh, if dad and Garibaldi
didn't both go overheard with splash,
and one rell in the English language,
and one in Eyetalian, and rushed
out of the cabin and such a sight you
never saw.
Dad retained the paddle. and had his
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-06-16
TO Wash Lace Collars.

Shave Ivory Soap in boiling water; add
a pinch of soda and drop the collar ln
stirring it until the dirt is removed. Rinse
in pint of hot water to which has been
added, teaspoonful Of gum arabic and q
To iron, pick out and press on white
flannel, press with moderately hot iron
ELEANOR r. PARKER.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-06-16
The Shark in Commerce.

The shark, which is so abundant in the
waters of Central America, is to be
utilized in commercial products. A
company has been formed which con-
verts sharks fins into jelly and timed
soup, makes fine machinery oil from
their livers, handsome leather (equaI
to obligatory from their skins, walking
sticks from their back bones, and nu-
merous articles from their jawbones and
teeth.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-06-16

Dear Mrs. Pinkham:-
"Ifeelitmy duty to tell all suffering women
Of the relief I have found in Lydia f. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound. When COM
menced taking the Compound suffered
everything with backaches, headaches men
strual and ovarian troubles. am complete
ly cured and enjoy the best of health, and
owe it all to you"
When women are troubled with irreg-
u1ar, suppressed or painful menstrua-
ton, weakness, leucorrhoea, .displace.
ment or liberation of the womb, that
bearing down feeling, Inflammation Of
the ovaries, backache, bloating Tor
hatulence), general debility, indiges-
ton and nervous prostration, or are be-
set with such symptoms as dizziness,
faintness, lassitude, excitability, irrita-
bility, nervousness. sleeplessness, mel
ancholy, "all gone and "want-to-be-
left-alone" feelings, blues and hopeless
ness, they should remember there is ono
tried and true remedy, Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound at once re-
moves such troubles.
No other medicine in the world has
received such widespread and unqual-
fed endorsement. No other medicine
has such record of cures of female
troubles. Refuse to buy any substitute.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-06-16
She Knew.

Her Father--What Marry that fool.
Why, he hasn't any idea of finance.
His Daughter-Don't you believe the
half Of it: He stopped right in the
middle of his proposal to ask how much
you were worth.-Brooklyn Eagle.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-06-16
Happy Thought.

Mrs. Bacon see the walls of many Of
che houses in Mexico are from three to
six feet thick
Mr.. Bacon-1 wish you'd run down
there and see if you can find fat to suit
us.-YOnkers Statesman.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-06-16

British Post Office Department..
The British post Office department
uses about 100000 envelopes for tele-
grams during "a hours : d.. -. S. d.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-06-16
FREE ADVICE TO WOMEN.

Remember, every woman is cordially
invited to write to Mrs. Pinkham II
there is anything about her symptoms
she does not understand. Mrs. Pink
hams address is Lynn, Mass, her
advice is free and cheerfully given to
every ailing woman who asks for it:
Her advice and medicine have restored
to health more than one hundred thou
sand women.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-06-16

Special Low Rates to N. e. A. Meet
ing, Asbury Park, N. J.
July 81, via Nickel Plate Road. Long
return Limit and Stop-over privileges al
Chautauqua Lake, N. Y, Niagara Falls
and New York City. Full information Of
Agent, or address J. Y. Callahan, General
Agent, Ill Adams st., Chicago, III.
New adage: A fool with his money il
soon started.-Puck.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-06-16

= Piso,s Cure cannot be too highly spoken o
Ave., n, Minneapolis. MINI. Jan. s. 1900.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-06-16

The people who think they can accom-
plish things merely by pushing hard gen.
orally have to be fshed out of the wreck
age sooner or later.-Puck.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-06-16

If the man who thinks only of saving
his own soul ever gets into heaven, he
will probably fall out through knothole:
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1905-06-14

Mr.. and Mrs. Nj. Y. Moore,
Mr.. and Mrs. J. A. BuquOr and
Mr.. J.. w. Beeler left Sunday
for Kentucky on a visit to friends
and relatives. While Mr.. MoOreis
away his studio will be in charge
of Mr.. J. w. Black Of New Or
leans.
Don't take my word for it but
let me prove to you that l can
sharpen a razor: if you are not
satisfied it won't cost you a cent.
"A. J. Bonnet, the Bicycle
Doctor.
If you prefer a liquid use "Zy-
mole" Tooth Paste, a delightful
Antiseptir, it cleanses and beau
titles the teeth, and preserves
the gums.-MOss Pharmacy.
Miss Genevieve Mouton and
father left for Louisville, KY,
Friday tn spend the summer
with relatives.
Everything electrical sold at
Lac0ste Hardware ca. Ltd.
l make a specially of sharpen
ing razOrs, and guarantee salts
faction or no pay. Won't you
give me a trial.-A. J. Bonnet,
the Bicycle Doctor.
r. N. Gossett, who is now re-
presenting a New Orleans firm,
spent from Saturday to Tuesday
with his family here.
Go to Alex DelahOmssaye's and
see what excellent bargains he
has on his bargain counter.
We invite the ladies to call and
see large our aud well selected
stock of dress goods and trim
mings.-Levy Bros.
c.. ]. Barrow, State Assistant
Commissioner of Agriculture.
spent several days here last week
in the endeavor to organize a par
ish fair association.
.
Ladies' will find q beautiful
assortment of summer fabrics
and trimmings at Schmulen's
Gasoline, Blue flame. steel
and iron cook stoves, Ranges
ETC., at Lacoste Hardware Co.
Ltd
MI. Gus. Schmulen will begin
the erection of a two story brick
store on his lot on Pierce street
very shortly, and preparatory to
building he is having the resi-.
dence in the rear of his present
store moved to Mudd addition.
Meantime he will occupy the
Trahan building just across from
his store ~ q residence.
We are closing out our entire
stock of base ball goods at cost.
Lacoste Hardware Co. Ltd.
Prof. w. j. Avery left for Fort
Jessup Saturday night to assist
in the summer normal which
began there Monday.