The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1905-04-26
JUST FOR FUN

"Taikin' bout prosperity" said Un.
Gle Eben, "dar ain no kind dat beats
clear conscience an a good ap-
petite. Washington Star
"The Joneses took every precaution
at the christening of their first baby"
Every Drecaution?" "Yes-they boil
ed the water."-Clevelan Leader.
Father.-But do you think you can
make my daughter happy? Suitor-
! Happy! Say, you should have seen
her when l roposed.-Brooklyn Life.
Mr.. Cowley.-Did you give your
| wife a riding habit for Christmas?
Mr.. Horsely-No; I'm trying to
break her of the one she has.-Cleve-
land Leader.
Heavy Hugh Extraordinarily
Why, Dora! Long frocks, eh? crown
up, | declare Sharp Little Dora
Why, Hugh; Moustaches! Grown
down, l declare!-Punch.
"WellC moralized Mr.. Nevergo,
I'VE are here today and gone tomor-
row." "Yes," said Miss Hotshot, glanc-
ing at the clock; I've noticed that
about you."-Cleveland Leader.
Lady with smelly basket Of fish).
-Dessay you'd rather ave a gentle
man settin' aside of you? Gilded
Youth (who has been edging away.
Yes; would. Same 'ere!"-
Punch.
Mother-Oh, you bad boy! Dirty
hands again! I'm afraid you are
hopeless case. Tommy (eagerly).-
o, ma! does hopeless mean you're
going to give up talkin' about it?-
Philadelphia Press.
Mirandy.-Paw, that chap from the
city has been sittin' on the fence all
the morning, saying nauthin', except
that he was gettin' some local
color. Pop.-Well, guess he's got
it. That fence has just been paint
ed.-Life.
Sympathizing Friend-I am awful
ly sorry, Mrs. Slader to hear that
your husband has lost everything
Mrs. Slader-Oh, but it isn't quite so
bad as that Mr.. Slader has at least
a dozen check books left, for l have
seen them.
Surely you're not jealous of your
husband?" yes; | am. He simply
can't keep his eyes off the women"
"Oh, yes; he can. You should see
him some time when he has a seat
in a crowded street car.''-Philadel-
phia Ledger.
Balty Moore.-Oh, pshaw, old man,
wouldn't worry about Blowhard's op-
inion of me If | were you. Calvert,
Jr.-It isn't his opinion I'm worrying
about. It's the grounds l happened
to know he has for that opinion
Baltimore American.
Harry-I wonder If there is any,
thing in this world that could make
me like Sallie Sanders? Dick-I can
think Of but one thing. If you should
engage yourself to some other girl
you might fall desperately in love
with Sallie-or anybody else who hap
pened to come in your way.
Kate-And you are really going to
marry Fred Squanders! They say he
never does anything. Corinthia-
"That's where they do him a great
wrong. Why, he is one of the most
active of men. 1t was only yesterday
morning that heard he had painted
the town the night before. Just think
of that!
Martha.-Has your father forgiven
Tom for causing you to elope with
him? Mary.-Father has forgiven
me. He says that he is under great
obligations to Tom, and tells him the
latchstring is always out for him.
Martha.-Then you will be at home a
good deal? Mary.-Tom is welcomed
there on condition that keep away.
Tilda-When I told Mr.. Barnstorm.
er we were going to have eggs for
breakfast he looked very serious.
David suppose it reminded him OF
the profession. Tilda-Why so?
David.-He told me once that when
on circuit, eggs was the only kind OF
food they ever got. If the people OF
the village liked their playing, the
eggs were served to them hot; If the
performance was not liked they usu.
ally got the eggs cold and with a
favor strongly suggestive of overripe-
ness.