Evening journal., 1905-01-18
Troubles of
The GarVeys.

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When all other topics OK conversa-
tlon failed people who knew them
could talk Of the Garveys. 1t was not
in the least unkind. for it really SEEM
ed as though the Garveys' chief aim
in life was continually to stir up dis
cussions.
Garvey was thin little bit Of a
man and his wife was fat little bit
lof woman. Just why they had stay
ed together the fifteen years since
their marriage instead of flying to op-
lposite corners of the earth was not in
the least clear to their acquaintances,
mot one of whom escaped hearing about
the unhappiness of this remarkable
couple. Dinsmore, who is a young
man with a mathematical turn OF
mind, once figured out that IL the Gar
veys devoted only two hours day 10
business and housework and cut down
their sleeping hours TO six out Of
twenty-four inasmuch as at least six
iteen hours daily were spent by them
telling their friends how they hated
each other, they actually had not
minute left in which to carry on the
quarrels they said they had but Mrs.
Dinsmore squelched his figures by say
ing they were nonsensical.
The fact remained that the Garveys
eternally complained OF each other
Mrs. Garvey had a habit of coming to
spend the afternoon with her women
friends and alternating between tears
Of
her woes. Sometimes it was. that Gar
lvey was deliberately late to dinner for
weeks because she had asked him to
be prompt; sometimes it was because
lshe said he had not bought her a new
dress in years; again she was furious
lat him because he broke a dish-on
lpurpose-or smoked one cigar too
many. But always he was a brute, a
monster. an unfeeling wretch. and she
had stood it as long as she was going
Ito.
At first her feminine friends watch
led the divorce columns in the news
papers eXpectantly after a call from
her, but they got used to her ultima
ltums after a time.
Garvey, of course, was not so ex-
lplicit. He contented himself with long
ldiarihes against matrimony I'm gem
leral, citing himself incidentally as a
horrible example of a brow-beaten.
heart broken, discouraged man. He
was really clever at turning sentences
wherein dashed hopes broken ideals
continual wrangling and only a black
ler future loomed prominent
It was therefore the wonder OF their
lacquaintances that they did not sep
larate. Friends they had none. never
having taken time from the rehearsal
lof their disagreements to cultivate any
Their occupation in life was to find
some new thing about each other to
rail against and then hasten out to tell
liz to the world Sometimes the world
was amused; more frequently it was
bored.
Mrs. Garvey's plant when telling
labout her anguished existence was that
lack Of means alone kept her from
walking out Of the front door and es-
lcaping her miserable life with Car
lvey.
But she would conclude. sadly,
'what can a poor weak woman do all
alone in this cruel world? I haven't
a cent to my name"
As for Garvey, when he grew very
lconfidential he led his helpless listener
Ito infer that only his high sense OF
duty and his knowledge that she was
dependent on him kept him chained
to Mrs. Garvey's side.
So when a fortune was left Mrs. Gar
lvey everybody who knew them sigh
led with relief and saw the way Of
peace opening. It was good-sized
fortune too.
"And now" sighed their acquaint-
ances, "the troubles Of the Garveys can
lbe settled. She can 20 abroad or any
where. for she is amply able to take
Icare Of herself And he can get away
from his unhappy home and be care
free with an easy conscience"
They were partially right in their
mapping out of the future Of the Gar
lveys, for Mrs. Garvey did go abroad.
The only alteration in the future as
llaid out by the rest of the world for
Them was that Garvey went along.
They quarreled about what line of
lsteamers TO take. what trunks 10 pack,
what clothes to wear; they nearly
lcame to blows over their route on the
continent and never talked so vim
ldictively and volubly about each other
to other people as they did then. nor
Threatened divorce so often. They de-
parted quarreling. Acquniutances who
iran across them abroad report that
They are still at 1t.
Dinsmore, the mathematical young
man, like all the rest OF their ac-
lquaintances. is just coming out Of his
trance. "rn be hanged" he says. but
we've all been idiots Those fool Car
veys have actually been enjoying their
chronic unhappiness all these years
and we never knew IT,"