davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
BOSS, I VAS A LITTLE DIsAPP'INTED."

oOSS, 1 WAS A Little D1SAPP
colored Democracy extended an invita-
ton to the stalwart young orator, and
be accepted. The negro loves fattery
even when laid on with q trowel. Fra
zier knew this and began his Grafton
with a reference to the history Of AZ
riea as the cradle Of civilization. He
spoke of the beauty Of the daughters
Of African Egypt, Of Cleopatra and Of
the queen Of Sheba. He lauded the
pharaohs, Hannibal and that queen
Of Abyssinia who once dictated terms
Of peace to Augustus Caesar"
When he was through an old darby
congratulated him and said: "Boss, dat
sholy was a fine speech. Every niger
what hears it will vote wild de Diner
Gratis. But, boss, 1 was a little disap-
p'inted. 1 been hearin' all YOU speech
es, and l was 'spectin' to hear yo' say
one of yo' gran'mas was a cullud lady"
New York Times.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
How 1t

An English lawyer was cross examin-
ing the plaintiff in a breach Of promise
case. "Was the defendants air when
he promised to marry you perfectly Sc
rious or n Of ~jocularityY he inquired.
IF you please, SIR" was the reply,
lit was all ruf1ed with i'm a-runnin'
lis lands through it."
"You misapprehend my meaning"
said the lawyer. "Was the promise
made in utter sincerity?"
mo, sir, n no place like it. 1t was
made in the wash'ouse, an me awning
in the Clothes" replied the plaintiff
Harper's Weekly.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11

Don't let the children suffer. If they
are f%retful, peevish and cross, give them
HOLSTERS Rocky Mountain Tea. The
best baby tonic known Strength and
health follow its use. IS cents. Sold by
Burke & Co.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11

Fraxier's Grandmother.


b James B. Frazier, the newly
elected senator from Tennessee, was
engaged TN n of his early political
campaigns he adopted the policy of
1n%gratiating himself with his audiences
by remarking On the personal ties ex-
listing between them. Down at Chat
tanooga he addressed a meeting of
Germans and referred to the fact that
n Of his grandmothers was a Ger
man. A few days later he spoke to the
Irish-Americans and told how another
grandmother had come from the EN-
erald Isle, where she spoke the Irish
brogue and lshed in the lakes of Kill
larney. To the Hungarians he told how
another grandmother was closely re-
lated to Louis Kossuth.
His meetings were largely attended,
n his fame as an orator spread. The
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
Only Teasing.

A band from Georgia, it was said,
furnished the one really humorous in
cident Of the inaugural parade, says
the New York Times. AS it turned
from Fifteenth street into the Court
of Honor to pass in review before the
president 1t struck up the familiar
strain Of Dixie" 1t was a big band,
and it played forte. As the musicians
approached the presidents stand the
thousands about wondered If perhaps
there were not intended significance In
this, perhaps Il rebuke for Roosevelt's
southern policy. perhaps-but just as
the president was reached the band
broke "DlNie" Off In the middle ana
took up n little more quietly "Teasing,
Teasing. | Was Only Teasing YOU
The crowd caught on.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11

A mar wanted a ticket to Olathe and
had only a two dollar bill. 1t required
So to get the ticket. He took the two
dollar bill to a pawnshop and pawned
it for $3.50. On his way back to the
station he met a friend, to whom he
sold the pawn ticket for $3.50. That
gave him So. Now, who's out that dol
lar?-Kansas City Star.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
Weak
Hearts

Are due to indigestion. Ninety-nine Of ever
one hundred people who have heart trouble
a remember when it was simple lndiges.
ton. II is a scientific fact that all cases Of
heart disease. not organic. are not only
traceable to. but are the direct result of lndi.
gestion. All food taken into the stomach
which fails of perfect digestion fermens and
swells the stomach. putting it up against The
heart. This interferes with the action Of
the heart, and in the course of tiIne thai
delicate but vital organ becomes diseased.
Mr.. z. Kauble. Of Nevada. O., says: Ihad stomach
trouble and was in q bad state as ! had heart tFcThla
with It. | took Kodol Dyspepsia Cure for about 3or1
months and It cured mo.
Kodol Digests What You Eat
and relieves the stomach of all nervous
strain and the heart Of all pressure.
Bottles only. $l.oo Size holding az times tho thai
size. which sells for soc.
Prepared by 6. o. DEWITT & CO., CHICAGO.
For Sale BY BURKE & CO..
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
Strictly Genuine.

Most of the patentmedicine testimoni-
ais are probably genuine. The follow
notice recently appeared in the Atchison
Kan.) Globe: Joe Tack, a we'll known
engineer, running on the Missouri Paci-
fc between Wichita and Kiowa, lately
appeared in a big one, with a picture,
and when he wasin this office to-day,
we asked him about it. He says he had
terrific pains in his stomach, and thought
he had cancer. His druggist recon-
mended Kodol and he says it cured him.
He commended it to others, who we're
also cured. "Kodol Dyspepsia Cure di-
gests what you eat and cures all stomach
troubles. Sold by Burke & Co.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11

Miss Ascum-Have you really broken
Off your engagement to him? Miss Fly
tie-Oh, yes, I just had to. He was get
ting too sentimental-began to talk to
about matrimony. - Philadelphia
Press.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
Difference of American Girls.

A generally ignored point in assessing
the many reasons why American girls
are so popular is the very captivating
shade Of Difference with which they
treat those older than themselves
Lady's Pictorial.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
Mans Vanity.

There is no exaggerated and bare
faced compliment q man will not swal-
low greedily If it be served up by a
woman. And his complacency under
the process Of swallowing is something
delicious to witness.-Lady's Realm.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
Cultivate Your wife's Friendship.

cultivate -FOUR wires Fr1en0Sn1p.
If a man has a good wife he has the
best friend it is possible to have. "a
mans best friend" says Bulwer Lyt-
ton, sis a wife Of good sense and good
heart, whom he loves and who loves
him. In oma there are at once a
subtle delicacy Of tact and a plain
soundness of judgment which are rare
~ combined to an equal degree in a
man. A woman, if she be really your
friend, will have a sensitive regard for
your character, honor and repute. She
will seldom counsel you to do a shabby
thing, for a woman always desires to
be proud Of you. At the same time her
constitutional timidity makes her more
cautious than your male friend. She
therefore seldom counsels you to do an
imprudent deed"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11

Why suffer with spring tiredness,
mean, cross feeling, no strength, no ap-
petite? HOLSTERS Rocky Mountain
Tea will make you we'll and keep you
well. 35 cents, Tea or Tablets. Sold by
Burke & Co,
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
Try,

Try to be something in this world,
and you will be something. Aim at ex-
cellence, and excellence will be attain
ed. This is the greatest secret Of sue
cess and eminence. II cannot do it"
never accomplished anything. 81 will
try has wrought wonders.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
Hot Weather Piles.

Persons afflicted with Piles should be
careful at this season of the year. Hot
weather and bad drinking water contri-
butte to the conditions which make Piles
more painful and dangerous. DeWitt's
Witch Hazel Salve stops the pain, draw,
out the soreness and cures. Get the gen!
uine, bearing the name of E. G. Dewitt
& Co. For sale by Burke & Co.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
For Sale by BURKE & CO.
D%reSSmaking ParIOrS.

Miss Dohmann and Herricks have
opened dr%essmaking parlors at the resi-
dence of H. Dohmann on Sixth street,
where they will be pleased to receive the
orders Of anyone requiring work done.
Work guaranteed satisfactory and prices
moderate.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
Prevents Blow Holes.

For producing steel castings tree
from blow holes, M. Meslan advises
adding an alloy of aluminium ana cal.
cium to the molten metal. He has
found that the combination of these
Two metals absorbs all gases present
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
Why She Took Him,

Miss De Style-What prompted Miss
Munnybags to take that old bachelor?
Miss Gunbusta (sarcastically)-Klep-
tomania, I guess.-New York Life.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
Most Valuable Book.

The most valuable book aver pub.
.ished by a private citizen was proba-
bly, the catalogue of the Walters col.
lection Of pictures and ceramics IN
Baltimore.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
Not Until Then.

When dawns the bright millennial
morn
Each dollar bill will bear
A guarantee It's clean and free
And pure as mountain air.
cleveland Plain Dealer.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
TROUBLED!

Trouble. trouble. trouble
Kaze l hear de rain crow boiler,
En- de rainy days ez lonesome
EZ a man without q dollar!
Atlanta Constitution.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
Sure Enough,

what do you suppose makes our
gas bill so larger"
"Why, George, don't you know we
are light housekeeping?" - Houston
Post.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
Natural,

"Colored people are usually cheer
full"
"Of course. You don't expect to see
a black man look blue."-New York
Times.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11

Capital Of Railroads and Banks.
The capital Of tho railroads ts moya
than five times as great as that Of 81
the banks.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
Queer, If True,

Little Willie had a gun,
Pulled the trigger just for fun:
No n CHANGED to be in range
Doesn't this sound rather strange?
Boston Herald.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
In Miles,

"What's the difference between a Jap
soldier and a Russian?"
gust as much as the Russian can
make it."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
In or Out,

Oh, say, We ones who understand
The mysteries of fashions whim,
Are persons who hold watered stocks
Considered in the social swim?
New York Press.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
JlNGLEs N JEsfs..
The Summer Girl.

The summer girl but proveth this.
Is you have rel kissed her
Though temporary be the bliss,
The summer girl proveth this
That though she be a winsome miss,
Shed rather win some mister.
The summer girl but proveth this
If you have aver kissed her.
New York Times.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
Very Likely.

Mrs. Rubba-I wonder why that wo-
man is watching me so.
Mr.. Enthusiastically she's trying to
find out why you are staring at her,
Philadelphia Press.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
A Lovers Eyes,

Groom guess that man we lust
passed is married.
Bride-Why do you think so?
Groom-He merely glanced at you.-
New York Weekly.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
Trout Caught in the Ocean

Trout are believed to be exclusively
fresh-water fish. it happens, however,
occasionally that some are caught
with the herring in the German cean.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
A Theory.

IT'S oft our W convenience
That keeps the conscience warm,
And the man who has no Office
Is the nan who wants reform.
Washington Star.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
At the Theater Rehearsal.

AT the Rehearsa1.
"Oh, l feel as If l should fly" ex-
claimed the leading lady nervously.
"Well," said the low comedian sar-
c%astically, pointing, there are the
understandable Journal.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
The Harder Task

Martha-Mrs. Fulcher says she taught
her husband all he knows.
Blanche-Yes, but they have a gov
erness for the children.-Brooklyn Life.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11

bills Of credit and seldom draw to their
full cXtcnt.-Walpole.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
Extreme Measures,

Clara-Mr. Boreham never knows
when to go.
Carrie-No, indeed. Last night 1 had
to yawn eleven times.-Philadelphia
Ledger.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
Alas. Yes!

A humble tailor Death had caught
Within his clutches grim,
Yet by his grave we stood and thought
How much we owed him.
Philadelphia Press.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
He Got the Place.

Merchandise you want a job as Of
fee boy, eh? Any previous experience?
Applicant-No, sir; but I can't whis-
tle.--DetrOit Tribune.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
When q or you feel impending i'll.

When . er you feel impending ill,
And need a magic little pill,
No other one will I'LL the bill
Like DeWitt's Little EARLY Risers.
The Famous Little Pills Early Risers
cure Constipation, Sick Headache, Bill
BUSINESS, etc. They nevergripe or sicken,
but impart early rising energy. Good
for children or adults. Sold by Burke
& Co.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
1t Does Make a Difference,

1t Does Wake a Difference.
\ deaf man, lately married, was
ed at the club about his bride:
- she pretty?' NO." replied the
( gentleman, mo, she is not. But
- will be when her father dies!"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
Merry Mary.

Mary lac a little dog.
The dogs name it was Hector.
He watched the trunk
Where she kept her junk,
So she called him her Chest protector"
cleveland Leader.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11

Cleanse your system of al impurities
this month. Now is the time to take
HOLSTERS Rocky Mountain Tea. twill
keep you we'll all summer. IS cents,
Tea or tablets. Sold by Burke & CO.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
An Unfair

De honeybee you sOon will spy
A-startin' work bran new.
If I had slep' all winter 1
Could be Industrious too.
Washington Star.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
There Is a Difference.

The difference between Kennedy's
Laxative Honey and Tar and all other
Cough Syrups is that it moves the bowels,
thus expelling a cold from the system.
This relaxes the nerve tissues and by
its healing effect on the throat and lungs
the cough is relieved-cure entirely.
Kennedy's is the original Laxative Hon
ey and Tar and contains no opiates.
Good alike for young or old. Tastes
good. Sold by Burke & Co.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
Needed a

Going off for long, Reggie?"
"Yaas. to the work cure: doctah says
ovahwested, deah boy."-Puck.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
The Cause.

He-What cause your forgetfulness
do you suppose?
She-Somehow I can't remember
YonkerS Herald.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
A SLIGHT Miaunderstandine.

"You look a picture of health"
''That's a cheap compliment"
ooh, but I was referring to an oil pic
ture."-Yonkers Herald.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
Reconciled to the Situation.

The Fiancee-Mamma is so sensible.
The Fiance-Yes. She seems to have
stopped expressing her opinion Of me-
New York Press.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
New Work and

New York and London.
Manhattan island has an aVarsgn6Y
1872 people to the acre, while
has 60.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11

Mistress (angrily)-"see, Bridget. 7
write my name in the dust on THIS
mantelpiece." Bridget (admiringlyja~
There's nothin' like %eddicatfon, atfss
all, is there, NUM-"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
Natural.

Did | not love my neighbor
AS myself I'd be II churi,
Because, you see. my neighbor
Is Il very pretty girl.
philadelphia Press.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-05-11
For Il Fall.

Ill fares the house,
To fastening Ills a prey.
Where wifey's wants are thrice
The size Of hubby's pay.
Chicago Inter Ocean.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1905-02-15
The Early Dog Gets the Drink.

"The little cooper drinking fountains
for dogs, put on the street corners at
bottom of l~ampposts," said the man
who stands all day at Fifty-ninth
street and Lexington avenue handing
out transfer tickets, would be a fine
thing if the dogs got a chance to them,
They are attractive in appearance,
and ere all right until freezing time.
They are too shallow for winter wealth
er. The dog fountains are filled every
morning by men from the Humane
society, and it is the early dog that
gets the drink. As soon as the car
rush begins, goodby doggie.
"This fountain has been here just
one week. In that time I have seen a
man waiting for a crosstown car
spoil the dogs chance with a mouth.
full of tobacco juice ; then kids and
young men fill 'em up with cigarettes;
seen women and girls throw orange
peel and apple cores into them ;
matches are thrown into them by the
dozen. Before noon that dog fountain
looks like a small swill-pail. Dogs
prefer. the leakings Of a fire hydrant
on the opposite
SIN summer the dog fountains will
be a blessing, but the people will have
to be taught that they are for the use
Of dogs, not hogs"
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1905-02-15
Masters Sale.
STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA,
County of Abbeville.
Court of Common Pleas.

Court of Common Pleas.
l.. IT. Harmon, ct al, az Executors etc.
against Amanda Edmunds and
observation-disclosures.
BY authority of q Decree of Sale by
the Court Of Common Pleas for Able
Vile County, in said State, made in
the above stated case, I will offer for
sale, at Puplic Cutlery, at Abbeville G.
S. c., on Saleday in MARCH 9Th,
A. D.. 1905, within the legal hours of
sale the following described land, to
wit All that tract or parcel of land
situate, lying and being in Calhoun
township in Abbeville county, in the
State aforesaid, containing ONE HUN
DRIED Acres, more or less, and bound
ed by lands of u McCord, G.. C. Jen-
nings, Little river and known as part
of the Harmon tract.
Terms of Sale-One-half cash, bal
ance on a credit of Il year, with in
terest from the date of sale, or for all
cash at the purchasers option. The
credit portion, if any, to be secured by
the bond of the purchaser and a mort.
gage of the premises, said bond and
mortgage providing for ten per cent,
attorneys fees in the event the same
are collected by suit. Purchaser tc
pay for papers.
L. w. Perrin,
Master a. c., s. &.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1905-02-15
Polluted Paragraphs.

You can't always tell a milk train
by its cow-catcher.
ia man is 8 coward he always
claims to be conservative.
Walking delegates usually ride at
the expense Of others.
Instead Of doing things today the
wise man did them yesterday.
Some men waste u lot of valuable
time explaining their actions.
A man who ia satisfied with his job
never reaches the top Of the ladder.
What has become of the leap-year
"Society for the Prevention of Old
,Bachelors?"
Married women who know how to
manage husbands seldom give their
plans away.
A young mans idea Of an attractive
girl Is one who doesn't care for ice
cream or oysters.
A large portion of our standing army
does q stunt on the street cars during
the rush hours.
Itis easier for q married man to pack
his trunk than iI is for a bachelor
because he has less to pack.
When it comes to a quick parting
the fool and his money are q close sec
ond to q woman and her secret.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1905-02-15
E~aulkner's Locals.

You'll never get buried II you keep away
from fire.
You'll never get the worst OF 1t In buying
you fight shy OF the shoddy end OF 1t.
Its the safest way TO give your business to s
house which won't handlet trash at any price
I've a SIX yscraper business here built WHOLLY
on that principle, l am going to add more
stories just as fast as more buyers find GU
that there Ia more than q price difference be
tween my goods and those which merely
"look IT,"
F%aulkner's guarantee Is "absolute s%atisfac
ton" and 1t isn't merely q talking polnt
Its the basis of my business.
Your small orders are large enough. Dom
imagine you have TO walt for big ones, they'll
come later.
Flooring, Ceiling, Siding, furnishing lum
Der, Shir giles. Laths, Sash, Doors and Blinds
Which shall it be, l want you TO find out the
way I take care of orders.
want you 10 see what my rush delivery
system means.
All | want Ia a fair chance at your buying
now. It's his time to talk.
Send me your order If l don't fill 1t prop
erIy you lose one order; l lose all your
orders.
How about tha order that You didn't send
in last week, / want II. Bling Faulkner Oh
Phone 1GG, and send II today.
Trinity st.
Phone lG6.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1905-02-15
A Song OF Snow-Time.

Sing q song Of snow.time
Now its passing by,
Million little heecy fakes
Falling from the sky
When the ground 10 covered,
And the hedge and trees,
There will be a gay time
For the chickndees.
Boys are in the school.houfe,
Drawing on their states
Pictures OF the coasting-place,
Aud thinking OF their skates;
Girls are nodding knowingly,
Smiling about,
Thinking of q gay time
When the school Ia out.
Three O'Clock, four O'Clock,
Bang! goes the bell
Get your hats and cloaks and wraps,
Hurry off pell-mell
Bring along the coasters all
II you want some fun
Up 10 the hilltop
Jump and slide and run!
Steady now! Ready now!
Each In his place!
Here we 60, there We 60,
Down on q race
Sing q song OF snow.time,
When the flakes fall;
Coasttime, skate-time,
Best time OF all!
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1905-02-15
The News OF War.

Thirty thousand men swept away
Thus comes the dirge from afar,
Thirty thousand on one dread day
This is the news Of war.
Thirty thousand desolate homes,
With women and babes who weep,
Weep for the thirty thousand souls
Gone 10 their long, long sleep.
Gone? Cut down without time for thought
Ofthe God whom they have to face,
With never q friendly hand to mark
Their lonely resting place.
Land Is dear bought with the price Of blood,
And the breaking ofhuman hearts,
And heavy. indeed, the price we pay
TIC heal a nations smart.
And lightly we deal but human life
To aid in q nations greed,
A toll OF thirty Thousand lives
Laid dow Without thought OF need.
And one days toll! That Gods bright sun
Should rise on such CHASTITY sight,
And men who own and bear His name
Dc not rise in their moral might!
o meek and lowly Lord OF Peace!
Whose "blessed" was great for those
Who sought to bring ease TO the nations
strife,
nj an end TO human woes.
Help us to earn that great reward
Which thou hast said will be given,
Blessed are they who make peace on earth
"For theirs Is the kingdom of Heaven"