Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-03-09
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BY Mary Kyle Dallas.

Swered:
La sir, you couldn't ito il, sir, 20,
know: because after folks is expired
why. they air removed from this here
vale of tears, sir. think-bcgging
pardon. sir--that it would he an unhap
piness.'
.No. no. Perkins" said Mr.. Rasr
berry-''no, no: you don't understand
these finer feelings
70 which the valet always replied:
mo. sir-probably not, SIR
This was before Mr.. Raspberry s
wedding, and for a year after this cere
mony Perkins had heard nothing of the
formerly often-eXpreSsed wish.
But one winter morning, as Mr.. Rasp'
berry read the account of a dreadful
railway accident, he said again, as
though he had never left off
How delightful it would be to sec
ones friends mourn for one!'
This time Perkins answered:
But missus would take on so"
"Thc very thing said Mr.. Rasp
berry Perkins, can you keep SO.
cret:''
''Inwaluate," said Perkins. who was
prone to the use of words bur vaguely
Observation-Disclosures.
Then. Perkins," said Mr.. Raspberry
81 am going to meet with q railway
accident. It's all arranged said Mr.
Raspberry.
''Gracious" said Perkins,
Dear mo, sir; | hope not SIR" said
Perkins.
I'm TO be put at tue head OF the list
of killed" said Raspberry. "A reporter
| know has promised TO do ii, On an
average, there's an accident week
the next one I'm to be in.
Beg pardon, sii--won't it be susin
cide:" asked Perkins.
Il don't mean to be killed SAID
Raspberry -''oniy reported So
La" said Perkins; "but poor young
misSus.'
The very thing" said Raspberry.
Il am much older than she is-tw enty
years" He was forty-fvc. "Anl
should like TO soc how she would
mourn for me after | WAS gone, il il
should hc my fate to go first. ] shal!
bid her adieu as though going upon Il
journey, and then hide myself in these
rooms of mine. When the accident
occurs and she sees the paper, T'll take
care to be al hand. My nephew. julius
will grievC, too. I've been indulSent
to him, and she will break her little
heart"
Yes. sir; but, sir. won't she be angry
when she finds out its hoax" asked
Perkins.
'She shall never find it out" said
Raspberry, never. I'll tell her ii was
false report. That was on the
train but escaped"
yes. sir" said Perkins. doubtfuly
and he brushed his masters hair II
thoughtful manner
Remonstrance was in his eye. but
Mr.. Raspberry cared nothing for that
He had determined on his course oil
conduct.
That very day hc went through {
ceived letter, declared that urgHn'
business required his presence in an
other city. packed yalise, badc adie,
to his WIFE and jumped into n cab a
the door.
At midnight he was secretly assisted
to re-enter the house by back W III
dow. and repaired to his dressing room
secretly provisioncd as for 4 siege
with pOted meats. biscuit canned frui
and other dclicacies, hy the active Per
kins.
There he remained for at least ;
week before Perkins, Glancing over thu
morning paper, saw Il list of the killed
and wounded in great black letters ol
the front page. with Mr.. Royal RaSp
berry'S name at the head thereof.
Then Perkins heart quaIed
ITS too bad for missus." he mused
"If she is sorry it may half kill her
If she isn't, she'll pay for it. I'll tel
her, and if | am fired for it. hop
I'll find q master with more hair Il
fix and less anxious TO have it don
various and becoming
Then Perkins took the paper AM
walked into his lady'S sitting room.
"Plea M" he said, i've got some
thing to tell you--don't be alarmed-it'
about master"
"Oh. Perkins" cried The lady. "Oh
Perkins! you've got the newspaper
What is it? Oh. OH OH
''It amt nuthin' of that natur'." sal,
Perkins. master is alive, and vel
and upstairs eating potted shad ant
crackers
when did he Gomez" asked tn
wife. "and what do you mean by shut
ting the door,
perkins" cried Mr.. Raspberry
nephew, Julius, "if you have anythin
to tell, out with il; don't stand ther
alarming us. My dear uncle is no
i'll"
HE will be if he eats much NOR
shad," said Perkins. But he's well a
present, but he's too romantic. He
attemptin' to harrer up your feelings
In pint of fact, in order to see yo
mourn for him, he's hiding upstair'
while he's reported squashed in thi
here railroad accident. It's a dretf,
one. He paid a reporter to put hir
In, mum, the 6rst that happened"