Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1905-06-15
ODDLY l,)][l!LI.Y1 NAMED. TOWNS.
QUEER TITLES THAT DOT THE MAPS
a II Of UNCLE SAM.

.iA Commemorative Regularity In
NOT 'Confned to Any One Purt of the
Country, hut Lends Itself Impair
ttally to All Sections. Il
The names Of some towns In the Unit
ed Suites probably cause their lnhab.
itants considerable vexations when
away from home, says the Chicago
Chronicle These names have certain
peculiar meanings in everyday talk and
us soon us they ure mentioned they are
apt to prompt troublesome questions
by funmakers. For example, the man
from Alone, Ky. might have to ex-
plain to q stranger living In New York
low lie could do business If he we're the
only inhabitant and low the excise
laws were enforced IL the burkceper.
the TOPPER the policeman and the magls.
trate were all one and the sumo nnt In
case there were more than one person
IN Alone IL all were bachelors and old
maids. Citizens Of Lonely, y. G., md
Lonesome. Ky, would encounter much
tue same sort of questions. and all, Of
course. would finally be asked lie they
were once Jersey commuters.
If man hailed from Affinity, y. c.,
he would naturally be supposed to be
married and his home life IN unpunc-
tuated chapter of bliss. He would be
expected To wear rs wide smile as the
citizen ofJoy or Happy, Tex, or Para
disc, Colo, with n temper rs subdued
as the inhabitants OF Purity, Mimi.
What would happen. however, IL the
rnun from Affinity should meet man
from Pence, Ala. would, indeed, be
problematical. They might, nfter the
fashion of some wcsterners. boom tho
merits Of their respective towns with
such ardor that Mt lust these representa-
tives of Peace and Affinity would come
TO blows. They might Mt last develop
as miIch disrclish for each other ns the
citEens',of Cream, Wis, who should
chance TO take dinner with citizen OF
Cayinr, \. j. On the other hand, they
might become Ms chummy rs the towns
men of those. Ulree towns IN the states
OF Colorado, Oregon and West Virginia
which all bear the name of Crook.
Any Que coming from Eye, n. g..
could hardly expect to join the New
York police force and find things con
genial. If he was n native of Lax.
Ala, or Bllud Bay. La. OH the con-
trary. his duties rs metropolitan blue
coat might prove consenial. If he said
lie was from Sodom, o., lie would most
likely be told that his own town must
need Ills services more. II he replied
Tint it didn't, he might be recommend
ell to try to get position in Pluto,
Miss. 't As
Near the Grccnc river in Kentucky
and several miles south of Lewiston
there Is Il town by the name Of Pig
1t has never been recorded In any hts
tory Of the United States whether the
characteristics OF the people OF Pig nre
any different FROM those Of the people
OF Lamb. ILL.,, or Chickles, PA. This ~
certainly to be regretted. 1T would
certainly lie interesting to know if the
worthy burghers of Pig are any more
happy and contented than other human
beings. whctllci: they hive such Ills es
insomnia, nervous prostration or mel,
nncho!ia; whether there is any sale IN
Pig for appetl2crs, and whit the good
people do OH Fridays.
Should woman from Big Foot,
Tex, or Antiquity. O.. advertise for
! husband 1t Is safe to say she would not
get MS many answers as n woman from
beauty. W. Va. The man who hailed
from Jug, Ala. might have more diff
[, ficulty In being elected to the White
Ribbon society thdn his contemporary
from Dry Town, Cal. The native Of
MngIc,Y Aln., would no doubt be well
coined sby certain Wall street officers
where citizen from Falrplny. Wis,
, would find the door shut. Should the
woman from Alnmode, Ca. OF Fash
ion, Ga.,J;lnDct woman from lays
Vile, O., the two might get into such q
controversy. that Mt the end they would
both lie believed to he natives of Loom