The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1905-04-23

time the President of the North Caro-
| lima Railroad, and it was during his
administration that the road was leas-
ed to the Richmond e. DanVille road.
| The Major married in Johnston coun-
ty a lady of good property, and liVeo
in fine style. He built two churches:
One just across the road in front of
his residence, which he gave to the
Methodists; the other about half a
mile from his residence, which he
gave to the negroes. 1t is worthy of q
place in history to tell, that Mrs. w.
H. Green, CT Washington CITY, the
Majors step-daughter. has for a num-
Der of years paid the Methodist min
isterS who have preached at Smith S
Chapel, a hundred dollars year; IN
fact her gift has been the most that
has been paid; and she has done it
because, for her Step-father'S sake,
she wished to build up strong church
there.
So much for some of the old-time
candidates, which must suffice for tbs
week.
What a fool is a drunken man, and
what trouble he can make! And,
again how ridiculous the conduct and
conversation of those who happen to
be good natured, funny fellows.
l have seen all sorts of men under
the influence of liquor, but l have
never seen one drunk who did not in
some way, play the fool or act the
simpleton.
1t used to be the custom of temper
ance speakers to carricature the
drunken man, for the purpose of dis
gushing the hearers with drunkenness:
but, Il fellow who loves liquor don't
care how he looks, or what he says,
when he's drunk; and, so, L don't
reckon carricaturing does any good.
/ used to know a printer who loved
to get drunk because he said it made
him feel rich and love his wife bet
ter. And, to his credit, it must be
said, whenever he got drunk he'd buy
his wife something. One Saturday
night after he had received his weeks
wages, he hung around Kane's corner
until he began to feel specially good,
treating and being treated. But, he
didn't forget Lie, the partner of his
joys and sorrows. Leaning on the bar
counter, and winking at the young
man VINO dealt out liquor, he asked
Usher got sheny Ishters?"
Have l got any oysters?" the clerk
asked, TO be sure that he understood
his question.
"Da's wash Ished. 1 wancher picher
full for Lie; biggest picher you got"
The reader will understand that he
wanted a big pitcher full of oysters
to carry home to his wife. About
that time john Kane made his appear
ance and protested against the print
er's having one of his pitchers; but the
printer declared he was just as 'sober
as a shuoge," and there would be no
risk in letting him have the best
pitcher they had.
The pitcher was filled and the
oysters paid for, and the happy printer
e., to -, I.
He managed to keep the sidewalk
until he passed the Marlborough House,
but when about opposite the bank.
(now the law building), he ran against
a lamp post and broke his pitcher,
he holding on to the handle. Steady
ing himself, and taking a new bearing,
he took the middle of the street, where
he could have more sea-room, for
lacking, and without any other mis-
hap, landed at home. AS he stumbled
in at the door he bleated out
cit yure schu pan. Lie. Ish got
'em sho'; and dun't you f'get 1t"
Got what?" his wife asked in
"Haffer gain old Schon's best listers.
Put cher pan on"
"Why. L don't see any oysters" she
said. you've got no pitcher, much
less oysters"
"G'way, Lie shtop yer fun and get
cher shtew pan, and les have shup
per"
you've got pitcher handle; but
where's the pitcher"
Il shware pine blank d'was a pisher
rite cher Wen | lef' old Schon's.
Betcher dollar some schounnel schtole
dat pisher" Then winking at his wife,
he said: "I'le have nusser pisher put
to dis hannel an ole Schonll never
know de diffunce."
And he fell asleep to dream of high
way robbers who steal pitchers with
out takspg the handles.
Raleigh, n. G.
A woman has a great head to be
able to get into all the queer clothes