The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-08-09
COMMENTS ON MEN AND #l
 MATTERS OF THE WORLD

as his leading lady.
 "No." said MT. spinks, there is noth- ing in this yellow fever scare. It amuses me to see a lot of people around town pack up their trunks and prepare to run every time fresh rumor is started" he continued, as he cooked his hat on one side of his head and looked around pom pously. Why, just the other day some imbecie originated story that there were five cases of yellow fever in town and you should have seen the uproar caused in the home of Bifflxns who lives next door. Mrs. Biffkins actually tainted. the kids began to howl and Bifflkins him. self ran around like a madman. He ask ed me what to do. simply laughed at him. This Is tomfooery, Biffkins.' is what I said. Quiet your wife and chil- dren and try to collect your wits Yel- low fever cannot exist here; the mo- squito theory proves exclusively that there is no form of contagion and if there were hundred cases of yellow jack in town I would stay right here
 Well, that quieted him down. I'll tell you," contiued Spinks. T have made a study of yellow fever. I know what I am about and you don't catch me chasing off every time some fool says sboor"
 "Extryl Extry! Six cases yellow fever in townl Special meetin board uv healtl" shouted a newsboy.
 What's thati' exclaimed Spinks as he grabbed paper and fished for nickle in his trousers pocket Great ScottI FIX cuse, me Jones. must tell my wife about this"
 Ten minutes later Jones observed Spinks loping along the street in the direction of his home with his pocket full of rail road timetables
 Spinks did not live in Montgomery.
 Every now and then some wit has a moment of inspiration and refers to ''our sprightly contemporary, the Congress- ional Record That's a joke that ought to be enbalmed.
 Little stories are leaking out which tend to show that Senator Morgan has strong case of T told you so'' to pre- sent to certain would-be canal experts. It does seem remarkable that a man of John F. Wallace's achievements would throw up one of the worlds most impor- tant engineering undertakings simply be- cause railroad magnate shook handful of bills in his face. The public would like very much to know the why and where- fore of the recent canal maneuvers. Some explanations have been promised by MT. Wallace in forthcoming magazine ar- ticle
 Because Viena Tutpricb hr0Ixa biS t,oork by wedding another Steve Polaski of Beaver Falls. Pa, took revenge by hug ging the bride so hard that he broke three of her ribs.
 It is with genuine satisfaction that cit izens of Birmingham note the removal of several negro novels on Ninteenth street. between Fourth and nth avenue.;, to make room for business houses. Such good work cannot go on too rapidly. It is to be hoped that the time will soon come when all the unsightly shacks which now mar the symmetry of Brmingham-s business blocks will have been replaced by handsome buildings Then we will have city.
 Governor Vardaman is not from Mis- sour, but the Memphis health authorities had to show him that there were no yellow fever cases in the Tennessee town.
 When Attorney General Moody gets through hitting the agricultural depart ment a few solar plexus blows there ought to be some more absentees among Uncle Sans crop jolsers.
 PAUL COOK.