The Springfield herald., 1905-12-22

The Swell Christmas
Dinner on the Yukon

THAT means plenty, suppove.'
said the agent.
''Of course; got any?"
I've some extra dry, SIS cane.
replied the agent in his most business.
like tone.
Send up two cases."
Now" said the host briskly, "thsse
matters being settled, how about
eggs?"
There are the suicides eggs" muir.
INJURED the agent.
What" said the host incredulously
did that man who hanged himself
with wire from beam in his cabin
have fresh eggs?"
why. didn't you know" said the
agent with surprise, ''it was broodine
on $4,000 eggs that caused him to com
nit suicide. He thought they were all
bad. you see."
But they weren't all bad. only he
didn't find it out until after he was
dead" protested the agent with grin
Il was a member of the coroners Jury
| that sat on the case. and when we In
vestigated the effects of deceased we
found sixteen barrels Of fresh eggs
worth 81 dozen.
Let me tell you what to do when
you go to buy your eggs" continued
| the agent, not noticing the Interrupt
ton. Take pocketful of money,
| cold chsel and a hammer"
Whats all that for?" asked the
host with a show of interest.
well, you see the eggs are in lard,
| like holes in cheese, and the lard Is
frozen solid as a rock. The probate
| court has charge of the matter and
they sell the eggs for 81 dozen In
!! the lard, purchasers risk. You hav0
to get 'em out yourself. If you get 81
whole eggs out of dozen you ara
dandy They won't let you use a
steam thawer because 1t would boil all
the eggs. l want to tell you that the
probate court of this town is strictly.
on to its job.
"Is there anything else that you
| want that you don't seer
YES" replied the host. y want
| roses. They are my choice. But IN
] latitude GA degrees north, and IN the
| dead of an Arctic winter, one might
as well wish for a chunk OF Polaris.
20 don't know" said the agent en-
couragingly, "how would a dozen
| Jacks and dozen American beauties
do, with few sprays of apple Dios-
SONS to lay on the table?'
whats the use of trying to be
funny" said the host in an injured
tone. Its not In the least becoming
The agent made no reply to this but
quietly stepped into the other room
and returned presently with birch
bark vase in each hand. One contain
ed a large bunch of magnificent jac-
| queminots and the other an equally
handsome lot of American beauties.
We'll, I'll be-jiggered." said the
host. catching himself just In time.
you could knock me down with a
feather"
That's what they are" said the
agent comp1acently.
SPRAY a little perfume on EN- and
, after about two of the generals lash
ms nobody could tell en-" said the
agent.
Where did you get them!" asked
the host with interest
.o," said the agent. who was inclin-
ed to be poetical. "they fluttered down
from the wings of Aurora!"
"Fluttered down from the wings OF
geese" replied the host, who was not
in the least SO.
well. they are goose feathers" ad-
mitted the agent reluctantly. but you
needn't be SO disgustinely matter OF
fact about it. Besides I've got the ap-
pie blossoms upstairs in the store
u must be getting home" said the
host, worming himself awkwardly into
his squirrel skin parkie. Dinner at =
O'Clock sharp. and don't forget to send
up all the stuff, including Louis, the
marrow bones and the roses. Good
night" and off he went.-Samuel HID
bard, Jr., in Sunset Magazine.