davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
TFrom the Philadelphia

IFrom the Philadelphia Press.1
Even in blue blood you will often
find a streak of yellow
To entertain in bachelor quarters a
man must be a host in himself.
Beware of the fellow who shakes
hands with one hand behind his back.
The trouble with the average family
tree is that it grows to be such a
chestnut.
That half of the world that doesn't
know how the other half lives must be
in the cemetery.
The suburbanite who has to walk a
mile after he leaves the train may be
said to live beyond his station.
The fact that beauty is only skin
deep is a great consolation to the vast
majority who are not beautiful.
The fool doesn't know a good thing
when he sees 1t, the lazy man doesn't
seize a good thing when he knows it.
Blobbs-"What makes you think he
would make a great political orator.
With ali his words he really says moth
ing" SIobbs-"I know, but he says 1t
so convincingly."
Have a care!" Missed the heroine.
mo. thank you," replied the villain.
with no salary for six weeks and
three ex-wives clamoring for alinony
have enough cares to satisfy my
modest wants"
1t is easier to make a bad matter worse
than to make good one better.
An artistic temperament is all right un-
til you try to make living with il
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Buffalo took the lid off during the
recent Elks assembly there. This was
probably a precaution to preserve it
from being totally wrecked.
The celebration of Patterson day at
Dayton, o., reminds us to inquire what
has become of Nan.
Anyway we can have the assurance
that this weather is fine for the corn,
SO long as it doesn't get too dry.
There is movement on foot to pro-
tect the lobster. This ought to inter
est a lot of fellows who never saw the
ocean.
We warned you that If you wanted
to brag about Kansas as a summer re-
sort you ought to do it while the mer-
curry was right.
Mark Twain suggests a monument
to Adam. Here is where we can all
join in and contribute as matter of
family pride-barring those of course,
who adhere to the monkey theory.
Some of us may be little ashamed of
the way our more or less distinguished
ancestor tried to put the blame on his
wife, but if it hadn't been for Adam
the most of US probably wouldn't have
been here, so he is deserving of our
gratitude. Mr. Twain's suggestion
ought to meet with a hearty response.
A st. Louis bell boy refused a tip
of twenty dollars. Some people who
visited the worlds fair last summer
will think this is a lie.
There seems to be a suspicion that
FIR. Scott of Death Valley will return
BY freight.
The new boy who has just been
added to the family of the Prince of
Wales showed mighty little judgment
IT. the selection of his parents. There
are three or four others who have
numbers emitting them to sit on the
throne ahead of him. If he really
wants to be a king, he ought to have
picked out a Kansas farmer and his
wife to live with. Then he might have
| become a wheat king and hobnobbed
With real royalty.
It is to be hoped that Weather Man
Jennings won't be- called on to wear
out his Warmer stamp in making G
weather predictions during the next
| tNo months.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
GLOBE SIGHTS

[From the Atchison GIobe.J
What is meant when a woman is
referred to as buxom?
When two preachers get together,
what do they talk about?
People think they do enough for you
If they don't help to do you.
After all, tight shoes occasionally
keep women from complaining of 9TH
er things.
g! am so tired" said an Atchison
mother today, that I talk out loud
about it to myself"
The Atchison boys hold a certain
girrs hands SO much that she has al
most no use of them.
Did you ever know that when a man
and wife combine a little sense with
their regard for each other, the chill
dren are better balanced?
When woman sits un for her hus-
band, she never gets sleepy, no mat
ter how late he stays, if she has made
up her mind to give him a. scolding.
90, suppose she is as happy as
other people," a woman said today,
speaking of a friend. How happy are
people generally? Ever think about
it?
There is a widower in town who has
been bereft only three months, and
some people say he already has look
on his face indicating that he has
something else in view.
How many liars are there in town ?
Young George Storch is quoted as say
like the people of Atchison, we some
times think there are few more than
three.
1t is a pity that some people never
grow UP: all the good fortune others
enjoy they trace to a source similar to
own defeat tn early life: The teach
er's partiality.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
BRIsTOW's RECOMMENDATION

RRTSTOW,S- -RECONINTENDATTO
The report of Joseph L. Bristow of
Kansas, special commissioner of the
president to inquire into the operation
of the Panama railway by the govern
ment and the effect of its contract with
the Pacific Mail Steamship company, is
something of a jar to those who do not
believe the government should engage
in commercial business.
Mr.. Bristow shows that the contin-
uance of the Panama railroad as COM
mercial proposition is a necessity at
present, and he recommends that the
government improve it, put down
double track, and give it modern equip
ment.
He recommends that the contracts
with the Pacific Mail and the two
South American lines which had mo-
nopoly on the business, be cancelled,
which action has already been taken,
and that the ports be opened to all
steamships, and that freight be carried
across the isthmus for all alike.
But Mr.. Bristow goes further than
this. At present there is no regular
steamer service between our gulf ports
Galveston, New Orleans, Mobile and
Pensacola-and Colon, the gulf end of
the Panama railroad. Mr.. Bristow rec
ommends that if a regular passenger
and freight service is not established
within a reasonable time by private
capital between those ports, such line
be established by the Panama railroad,
which means by the government.
Furthermore he recommends that if
the Panama Mail Steamship company
quits on the Pacific side between Pana-
ma and the western ports of the United
States, and if no other private company
establishes a regular service between
these points, that the government step
in and do so.
In other words. Mr.. Bristow recon-
mends that the government see that
there is a square deal for everybody in
transportation over the isthmus.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
THE PAGE WE TRAvEL,

Our recent bursts of speed in railway
travel, going from New York to Chi
cago every day in eighteen hours, and
more than two-thirds the way across
the continent in forty-five hours, recalls
to a correspondent of the New York
Sun the fact that it has been only
seventy-flve years since the railroad
began to do business.
The first American locomotive says a
writer, was used in 1929 by the Della
ware and Hudson Canal company The
engineer invited anyone in a large
crowd of enthusiastic but tirnid wit
nesses to accompany him on the first
trip. mo one accepted" says the ac-
count, land pulling the throttle wide
open he said goodby to the crowd and
dashed away from the village, around
the abrupt curve and over the trem-
bling trestle, amid deafening cheers, at
the rate Of ten miles an hour"
What tremendous achievements have
been accomplished since then! But we
can come down to within the memory
of almost the youngest voter and see
advancement as great.
Two decades ago, in the middle
eighties, the bicycle of today was un-
known. Then we had only those high
wheeled, impractical affairs. Little
more than one decade ago the wheel
was not in as common use as is the
automobile now. The three or four
years following the middle of the last
decade saw the growth of the bicycle
craze.
Ten years ago only few half-crazy
inventors had any thought of the auto
mobile as a practical vehicle. 1t was
only five years ago that the problem
of the automobile was worked out in a
practical way. Today they are in use
by the thousands.
The airship today is more nearly &C
complished than was the auto decade
ago. 1t is not at all improbable that
before the man who next sits in the
White House retires after two terms OF
service the more wealthy people of this
country of ours will be making trips in
airships just as they do now in motor
cars. It is not at all beyond the range
of possibilities that in ten years from
now there will be dozens of flying ma
chimes owned in Topeka, and some OF
the wheat belt farmers will think moth
ing of getting in their airships and
running down to Topeka in the morn
ing and back at night. If you are skep-
teal ABOUT tI1SS just SlIp Aiio Oue 11AA
lay it away for ten years.
This is a glorious age we live in, and
a glorious country. Other ages may
have had greater splendors, but never
before were all the people so nearly
equal nor did all have such great priv
ileges. We are living at a rapid rate.
Great problems are ours for solution
problems of statecraft, science, mechan-
les, religion, philosophy. Strong men
should rejoice to grapple with these
problems and find their solution. It's a
great thing to live in this age.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

tiary could be found in the state Of
Kansas than Warden Jewett, and quite
likely Mr.. Jewett would have been re-
appointed had the oil refinery project
gone through, for Warden Jewett's
experience would then have been
almost a necessity.
Secretary of State Burrow was
greatly incensed last winter because
of the appointment of his old-time
enemy, John O. Royce, as bank COM
missioner. He claimed that Office for
Senator Haskell, but Governor Hoch
did not recognize the claim. When
he failed there Mr.. Burrow switched
his claim for Haskell to the warden
snip of the penitertiary, and Governor
Hoch now heeds il in order to placate
BurroW,
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

CFrom the Chicago News.J
Every wise man takes his turn at
acting foolish.
Love is a disease of the head that
affects the heart
A statement isn't necessarily false
because you dfsbeHeve it.
Dollars are more plentiful with some
men than common sense.
What an admirable voice the aver
age woman has for destroying silence!
The average wife believes anything
her husband Says-except his explana-
ton of a long hair on his coat collar.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
LFrom the New York Press.1

from the New York Press.
When mans married his poverty
begins.
The joy of living is chiefly avoiding
the pain of dying.
There is something about a rich
wife mighty fascinating till you are
married to her.
man carried on terribly about the
coal bills, but nobody ever heard him
claim the liquor bills are too high.
A girl always speaks of a Turkish
bath in the same tone of voice she
would use about boys who so in swin-
ming without bathing suits.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
TO A CHILD.

The leaves talked in the twilight, dear:
Hearken the tale they told
How, in some TAR on place and year.
Before the world grew old
1 was dreaming forest tree.
You wore p wild. sweet bird
That sheltered at the heart Of me
Because the north wind stirred.
How, when the chiding gale was still,
When peace fell soft on fear,
You stayed one golden hour to Ill
My dream with singing, dear.
Tonight the selfsame songs are sung,
The first green forest heard;
My heart and the gray word grow young
TO shelter you. my bird.
Sophie Jewett in scribner's.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

Perhaps birds of a feather do not
always flock together after an. Bur
ton of Kansas says the Chicago News.
docs not remember that Mitchell and
Depew wasted any of their telegraph
franks in sending messages ofsympathy
to him.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

Sympathizers with Russia sincerely
hope that NJ. Witte. who will repre-
sent Russia in the peace conference,
will live up to his name when he
takes uD his temporary residence at
Portsmouth. N. H. this summer.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

Just as the constitution follows the
hag-or vice versa-Taft's presi-
Dental boom seems to have followed
the Manchuria. Anyway it is said to
be in full swing in Hawaii where the
Manchuria touched on its way to the
Philippines.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

Mr.. Depew told Paris correspond
ent that he is tired of this Equitable
affair. No one doubts it for a minute
1t always makes a CRATER tired to get
caught. No doubt Tom Kelly is tired
of the state treasury trouble also.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

The Loebs are going to Yellow
stone Park for months outing Mr..
Loeb probably wants a vacation in
which he will not have to lead quite as
strenuous life as he did during his
April experience in Colorado.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

When Senator Depew tells about his
connection with the Equitable we are
forced to laugh-force of habit, you
know. Depew has been telling funny
stories for so many years that we Just
can't help laughing when he talks.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

The sultan of Turkey has the reputa-
tion of putting up the poorest brand of
government in Europe, but he doubtless
congratulates himself as he reads the
magazines that he isn't responsible for
the government that is handed out to
snrne American cities
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
IT WASN'T SAFE.

In the light of recent and remote
events that have transpired ever since
Mr.. Kelly took charge of the state
treasur's Office the public is inclined
treasurer's off1ce was not a safe place
for. the public money. And not ell
tirely because of the condition of the
safe, either.-Parsons Sun.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

Subscribers OF the state Journal
away during the summer may have
me paper mailed regularly each day
20 any address at the rate of thirty
cents a month. Address changed as
often as desired. While out Of town
the state Journal will be to you Hike
9 daily letter from home
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
WORK THE SUPREME NEED.

The advice of the president to par
ents to bring their children up to work
is sound. What. this country impera-
lively needs is a system by which men
can get money only by earning it. The
other ways are bringing all our institu-
tions perilously near Destruction
Baltimore American.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

It is stated that Governor Hoch and
Governor Folk talked over the Kelly
matter, the Devlin failure, and various
other things on their trip from Holli-
day to Ottawa. It is to be hoped that
the Kansas governor got a few point
ers from the Missouri man.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

The Parsons Sun thinks that since
Governor Hoch declared that Kelly's
new bond will not be operative until
September, under the game laws Kelly
may take advantage of the open season.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
WHY. Oh. WHY

The governor has been writing to
various county attorneys asking If the
prohibitory law is violated, and If evil
dence can be secured. Why doesn't
the governor move against the state
evidence that the state treasurer has
violated the law? Is the sale of
glass of beer a greater offense than
the loss of $4,000 to the state p
Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

Although he has not worked at the
Job for a year and a half, you will
notice that ]. Ralph Burton still keeps
himself connected with the payroll of
sfhe United States senate
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

There are several gentlemen who can
not give their unqualified approval of
Mr.. Roosevelt's choice for secretary of
state. in view of the sudden Root boom
for the presidency it has developed.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

Doubtless Richard Croker is thank
full he got away with the goods before
it became fashionable to inquire where
the money came from. =~s
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

ure will place Mr.. Coburn's reports in
the hands OF the farmers the same as
heretofore. Otherwise there will be all
kinds of trouble.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

You have often heard It said that YOU
have to die to beat insurance companies,
but there are a lot of grafters in New
York who have not found it true.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

"It would be interesting" says the
Washington Post. ito know how those
bank examiners spend their time be-
tween bank failures.,,
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
FROM OTHER PENS
WESTERN SKILL WINS.

Chief Engineer Wallace, having lost
his 100000 canal job. has found one in
New York that will pay him twice as
much. 1t seems that they never have
the presumption to offer a western
man less than $4,000 a year in New
Y York.-Chicago Record-Herald.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
THE MAD MARIAs

The Marias des Cygnes. not being ad-
vertised as an attraction at the Ottawa
assembly, got mad about it, and spread
out all over the grounds the day before
the assembly opened.-Salina Journal
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
A HARD PROPOsITION

1t threatens to be as hard to keep
good canal engineer as it is to keep a
good cook.-Wa shfngton Star
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

The twin territories have about hf.
lEeen times the population of Nevada
but Nevada is in and Oklahoma is out
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
AND KINKY HAIR?

Mr.. Roosevelt promised to open the
door of hope to the negro, and here he
goes suppressing all the patent medi-
cines that viii lturn the negro whfte.-
Baltimore Sun.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

Just think! Right in the middle of
summer, and down in Georgia at that,
Clark Howell and Hoke Smith are
Fsprinting their best for the Georgia gov
; ernorshfp.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
The Horrors of war.

The old gentleman in the smoking
car was declaring vehemently that, in
his opinion, war was a disgrace to
civilization. War; he exclaimed, sis
an abomination, a blot on the uni
versei" Upon which he rose and left
the car.
THE old man seems to feel pretty
strongly on the subject" said one OF
the passengers. 'tHas he lost some
near relative through war?"
yes answered a friend. ''l1is wife's
first band.'-Harper's Weekly.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

1t is suspected that Mr.. Lawson ha!
Enot yet taken his own advice to US t.
Isell our stocks. $50
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

The way the White Sox keep reaching
for the top of the bottom and Just miss
ang it is extremely narrowing to our
feelings.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

The theater trust appears to be in
Srouble as well as some others.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

From the Kansas farmers standpoint
@2here is no use in OVERRIDING this slump
In wheat.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
AN INQUIRY.

What has become of our old friend,
the kissing bug? He emigrated, ap-
parently, about the same time that
Hobson made his land cruise.-Los
Angeles Express.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

How much would you. be willing to
30 on Tom Ke1ly's bond for?
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

It is all right for the state printing
board to cut the printing allowance for
the state board of agriculture from
81. 300 to $4,000, provided the latter fig-
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

Isn't it really about time we were
nearing something from Oyama?
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
THE NAUGHTY BRICKLAYER

The lawyer and the doctor work for
fees and the brick mason for wages.
And it often happens that the wages
to more than the fees.-Nash-
vile American.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

John D. Rockefeller has doubled his
body guard. So has the czar.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
CONSCIENCE OR COTTON.

We wish we might say that the Chi
nese boycott had touched the con-
science of Americans. AS matter of
fact, 1t is only their cotton that has
been touch.-Philadelphia Record.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
THE PROBLEM.

Japan might tell more easily how
much indemnity to exact If it knew
just how much Russia could raise
Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
KAMSAy COMAENT
CRACK THE WHIP.


Tom Kelly is displaying his usual de-
nance and has told Governor Hoch to
crack his whip" Kelly will not fur
I1ish the bond the governor has asked
for, and, indeed, has said he will do
nothing He is not only defiant but in
solent to the governor and says the
governor is as much at fault as him
self by neglecting to examine the con-
dition of the treasury as required by
law. Kelly takes the stand that be-
cause Governor Hoch neglected to
check uD the state treasurer's accounts
that his own violations of law should
be excused In other words. he claims
that because the governor wasn't
watching him, he had right to make
away with the state funds. The gall
OF this man Kelly is something Won
derful He is undoubtedly the nerv-
lest rascal that the state of Kansas has
ever had to deal with. The governor
should take Kelly at his word and
crack his whip" and the whip should
be cat o nine tails. When a man of
the thieving record of Tom Kelly
stands up and defies the whole state of
Kansas, it is time that the whip should
crack, and it should crack good and
loud. We believe the governor will
crack the whip, and every time he
cracks it, Kelly will feel the effects
Troy Chief.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
HADLEY,S WARNING.

If few of the Yale '05 men turn
out bad they can charge it up to Presi-
dent Hadley. His baccalaureate warn
ing was against the danger of being
too good.-New York Commercial.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

PEACE.
Men speak of peace
In gentle phrase;
They say that it
Should rule our ways.
Yet while they talk
In terms polite,
They often plan
Another fight.
Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
JOHN D,s ARTFULNEss.

Artfully taking advantage OF the
prevailing excitement Mr.. Rockefeller
slips ten millions into the general
educational fund and makes his get
away in safety.-Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
WRONG LAWYERS MAYBE.

Topeka dispatches state that Gov
ernor Hoch's legal advisers inform
him that there is no raw under which
he can require the state treasurer to
give a new bond to repair the old
one. Possibly the governor has been
buncoed into advising with some of
the state treasurer's attorneys. There
are laws in Kansas that compel the
strengthening of every othe kind of
bond when it becomes known that
the sureties are disqualified or become
SO, and why not the bond of the most
important official in the state? The
governor ought to call in another
bunch of lawyers. AS it now stands.
the state treasurer has practically no
bond whatever. If road overseer' s
bond becomes worthless he must give
new one; if a bond in justice court
breaks down it must be fixed up, and
so on. Why not the state treasurer's
bond ?-Miami Republican.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
CHANGED HIS MIND.

Weyler as Spanish minister of war
You remember Weyler. of course. He's
the eminent soldier who changed his
mind about invading this country with
a conquering army some years ago.
Indianapolis News.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
"a MEASIIRE OF PROGRESS.

Civilization is progressing IN the
Philippines, although at last reports
the 1gorrotes had not yet been taught
to wear suspenders.-Washin Star.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
SwINDLING.

"The madness of inordinate busi-
ness scheming'' is what Grover Cleve-
land calls it. But there is a shorter
and less Clevelandesque name for it.
Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
Ike sToPPING TOO QUICK.

I1AAAA1 . N0A T I4N<H Z TO q kOAN1NAs
While Engineer Wallace had decided
to resign. he had no idea how fast he
was going to do it.-Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18
A Horse on the Doctor.

When little David A. first arrived IN
America from China. a kind hearted
physician devoted himself to his en-
tertainment, but wounded the child =
feelings by constantly calling him a
"Chinaman."
At last the boy could stand it no
longer. "I am not a Chinaman, DR..
Willingham," he said.
why, of course you are, said the
doctor. weren't you born in China ?''
81 was born in China" David per-
sisted, "but that doesn't make me a
Chinanan."
s'I wish you would show me why,
said his new friend.
''Dr. Wiilingharn,' inquired the little
fellow, triumphantly, ''if you had
been born in a stable, would you have
been a horse ?"-Western School Jour-
nal.