davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

N BALD-HEADED man was stand- WY ing on & street corner with an ac- ouaintance extolling the advan- tases of being without hair. He set forth in glowing terms the pleasures to be de- rived from badness, the comparative cheapness of such a state and the allui- ing prospect 1t offered to man who was lazy. The other man listened silently un- til the bald one had reached q period in glowing eulogy and then he spoke as follows: You are just like the man who smokes and argues that tobacco is harm less; the man who drinks and says he has absolute control of his appetite; the man who lies and contends that lies are in- dispensibe: the man who eambles and ayers that it is fine mental recreation and every other chap who defends a fault be- cause it belongs to him and he is secretly ashamed of It. You are bald and can't help 1t, so you try to persuade yourself that you are happy and that badness Is desirable, when as a matter of fact you would give a fortune to have a luxuriant suit of hair" The bald man suddenly re- membered an engagement and as he de- parted he said ruefully, You are right.' When he was a baby he cried for the moon and when he grew up he ran around over the country after q star.
 The fact that Ella Wh--l-r W-l-ox sings a song about Words immediately after the Presidents message was made public Is significant.
 EASY OPTIMISM. He was a man who had no blame For any one when trouble came
 To the other fellow.
 He always had jaunty air Despite keen grief and siant despair
 When 1t was not at his house. He had a fund of cheer in store When sorrows grew, laughed more and
 more.
 As long as they didn't grow on him. He seemed to lead a merry life Free from all cares and worldly strife
 Bnt that was only when he felt just
 right.
 A great many inquisitive youngsters want to know how Santa Claus Is going to get into steam-heated flats, where there are no cnl1nneys. The answer IS easy. lie has bunch of latch keys.
 Was there ever a more beautiful De- cember?" asks a gushing paragra pher. Pish. Tush We have a cold.
 SONG.
 Come back, O June.
 Sweet month of roses!
 I hate to hear
 These blowing noses.
 Among the conspicuous examples of meanness that have come to light since the original "meanest man. was discov- cred is that of an Alabamian who charged
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12
ROMANCE OF WHALE HUNTING.

From the San Francisco Argonaut
 The whalers are In and are again fitting out for the winter cruise. In the past month half dozen have come to port weather-beaten, redolent of the uttermost seas, their bearded and deep-eyed crews still counting from Java Head and La Perouse. More than the outward signs of ancient vessels long known to the busi- ness is the fact that they never lack Hr crews, though several ships came in "clean' and their men were paid for months of hard labor and toll with $1 and a piece of paper stamped by the shipping commissioner. Men do not work on shore for a cent a day and three meals of salt beef. with curses and kicks for sauce. It is the old hankering that men have obeyed since time began and the sea rolled to the horizon. The Gotama Is just in after eight months cruising from the South Seas to the Arctic and the Okhotsk. Her crew got nothing. But the tale of sea covered with floating pumice stone, of days chas- ing a whale. of watches when the sails glared with the reflection of some distant and unnamed volcano, waken a score of others who will listen and finally shamble down to take chance" And the driv- ing colonial mail boat some time soon again will sight the Gotama swinging in the azure waters of the tropics, her top sails hoisted to the mast. the lookout on his giddy perch scanning the ocean for the spout of the sperm. Curious passen- gers will talk moment against the rail and be whrled on. But the men In the forecastle of the schooner win not mo- tice. The long yarn of whales and har- poons and deaths and flukes will draw them again into the world of romance romance which will never die while the port watch snores in it's hunks under the fiiclSerng lamp waiting for the lons-drawn cry, .There she blows!'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12
KENTUCKY LITERATURE.

From the iLouisville llmes.
 q understand" said the publisher to the critic that Wigglns is engaged upon what is promised to be the best novel ever written of Kentucky manners and customs, past and present"
 Not is but was" corrected the critic.
 Why? Has he given 1t up?'
 welt explained the critic you see he permitted his two leading characters, a colonel and judge, to get into a quar- rel in the first chapter and the lie passed between them"
 .Thats a fine start-realistic and with the proper verisimilitude. I should think 1t would be great book must see about getting hold of it.'
 You needn't try said the critic. "It was too realistic-too much verisimilitude They klfled each other on the spot and Wiggins lost the material for the re- maining twenty-seven chapters and had to give it up as a hopeless undertaking.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12
Rev. Theo. Copeland.

The Rev. Theodore Copeland is stopping few days with relatives in the city. He Is en route to New Orleans to attend the annual conference of the Methodist Epis- copal church, south, which convenes in that city during the month of January. Mr Copeland has been transferred from the pastorate of St. Luke's church, Colum- bus, Ga., where he served that church three conference years. Birmingham is the former home of MT. Copeland, and his many friends are delighted to have him among them again.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press gives in.
 Sometimes girl thinks she is in love when it Is nothingv more than liking to go to the matinee
 About the meanest man is the one who acts as if he were lending the collection plate in church money.
 man would have to have lot of money to be able to make allowances to his family which they would call gen erous. It takes more courage than any man possesses to admit he is wrong if Inc sees chance to make the other fellow think he is right
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12
LOVE AND DEATH.

By Tennyson. What time the mighty moon was gather
 ing light Loved paced the thy my plots of Paradise. And all about him rolled his lustrous eyes; When, turning round cassia full in view Death, walking all alone beneath yew. And taking to himself, first met his sight. Thou must be gone.'' said Death. these
 walks are mine" Love wept and spread his sheeny vanes Tor
 flight; Yet ere he parted. said: This hour is
 thine; Thou art the shadow of life and as the
 tree Stands in the sun and shadows all be-
 neath So in the light of great eternity Life eminent creates the shades of death. The shadow passeth when the tree shall
 fall But shall reign forever over aut'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12
INDUSTRIAL REVIEW

Montgomery Advertiser: The annual in- dustrial review of Birmingham and the mineral district was the feature Of The Age-Herald of the 9rd inst. It was a splendid paper and outside of the exploit ing of the great industries, had much other matter of a high and interesting type.
 ralladega Reporter: The Birmingham Age-Herald is favorite paper in Talla- dega. being the first to reach us In the mornings but its issue on Sunday last was almost too much for us. It was just sixty pages; in addition to its regular issue was a twenty-four page industrial review of Birmingham. A great paper. An honor to Alabama journalism.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12
CHECKERED CAREER OF
 LATE SENATOR MITCHELL

1872, and thereafter was in and out until his death. In 1882. after a hot fight he was beaten but was successful again in 1SSo and 1891. The Republican caucus in 1897 chose him unanimously, but 2s mem bers of the legislature prevented a quo- rum by refusing to take the oath of office, and Mitchelrs defeat resulted. He was sent back to Washington again after hard battle in 1901, to succeed George ". McBride.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12
THEN AND NOW.

From the Chicago Tribune.
 When old Fladger came to this town. twenty-five years ago. said the man in the macintosh, everything he had in the world was on his back.
 And now?' queried the man who had his feet on the table.
 Well, his wife and six daughters have relieved him of the burden. They carry 1t all on their backs now"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12
About Persons.

G. Barder, well known resident of Cullman. is registered at the St. Nich- olas.
 J. P. Woodward of Montgomery is at the Morris.
 W. H. Staton of Helena is stopping at the Morris
 Charles Sparks of Selma is at the Morris.
 c. w. Thackleford, we'll known busi- ness man of Chattanooga. is registered at the Morris hotel A. Denson of Atlanta was among the arrivals at the St. Nicholas last night.
  VI. T. Liles, well known travelling
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12
Negroes Hang Negro.

Memphis, Tenn, December 10--Jim Green. negro, has been lynched at Boyle, Miss. by members of his race Green had assaulted negro girl years old. He was captured at Shaw station and re- turned to the scene of his crime. A posse of negroes took him from his captors and hanged him to the limb of tree
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

The Kansas papers are worried be- cause Florida paper credited Senator Burton to Missouri. He is disgrace 10 either state.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

There is little left of the old original frigate Constitution, but the country wants that little preserved to the latest possible moment.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

Quo vadis," written by Henrik Sienkiewiez won the Nobel prize, and $40. .0OO is a pretty good sum even in these days of easy money.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

You can't blame married man for smiling ironically when his wife asks for money to buy him Christmas present
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12
COMMENTS ON MEN AND
 MATTERS OF THE WORLD

his mother-in-law 50 cents for a meal she took at his house when he should not have charged her more than 25 cents. A western man was caught in the act of trying to marry woman barber so he could get free slaves 'Sdeath! The dear girl spurned him just in time to save her honorrrrrri
 If you desire you may purchase little Agnes doll house for s20O and there are elegant toy theatres for Bobby which can be had for ss00. Be sure you are rich, then go ahead.
 President Tight of the University of New Mexico is being sued for a divorce because he ascended a mountain with a young woman who was not his wife. Hereafter scientists will do well not to climb mountains with young lady friends when their wives are unable to go Pro- lessor Tight is an enthusiastic geologist but he will have to pay alimony.
 Those who have made a study of Mir. Roosevelt are not surprised to learn that he contemplates taking a trip around the world when his term of office expires. If present plans materialize, the junket will be pretentious affair with great stress on It's kingly features. It will be 'loop'' which will make that of David Francis appear tame and will serve to introduce the Roosevelt smile into the greatest courts of the old world. Probably, one reason why the President wants to make such trip is that he will be able to rid himself of the secret service men and travel without keeping a lookout for cranks. He will then be a happy private citizen.
 INDIFFERENT.
 What are the wild waves saying
 To the hotels by the sea?
 We don't care; we're not paying
 Any big bills there, b'gee
  Miss Roosevelt's presents have been re- ceived at the White House and opened. Nobody seems to know how much duty she paid but she need not worry about buying any Christmas presents this yeaA professor in the University of Ch& cago says that the nation is at the merGA of John D. Rockefeller, which remarA under the circumstances, seems to be eD. tremely bad form.
 CHRISTMAS FIRES.
 Lots of troubles in the world
 But there will be more
 When old Santa's whiskers burn
 As they've done before.
 President Corey of the United States Steel corporation is another man who has discovered that high station and a high life do not harmonize.
 There is already a lot of baseball gossip in the air. along with Ia grippe germs.
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

The McCurdys are out of the running and the Hughes range of firing at any rate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

Captain Amundsen, who discovered the long-lost Northwest Passage, also stumbled onto the magnetic pole as he went along.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

"The Sober Side of Christmas" Is the subject of an essay. The other side will be more in evidence.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

The White House is now guarded by two bulldogs, 10 say nothing of Pres ident who is armed to the teeth.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

Few people believed that ]. Pierpont Morgan would buy gold brick until after he had bought one.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

President f'eGall has not resigned yet. He is such a poor man that he can not afford to lose his position.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

Bourke Cochran is grand sachem of Tammany, but this does not mean that Leader Murphy is to be run off the reservation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

Prince Leopold ran over woman and he did just like other automobilists do-he did rot stop.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

A man may be able to manage the steel trust and yet be unable to conduct his domestic affairs properly.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

President Corey will have to go even if President Mccall stays, for the coun- try will not stand everything.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

The little ship Gjoa went through the Northwest passage without trans fers over or under the ice.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

Roland B. Molineux is again in the Sunday papers. This time he is writ ing up his prison experiences.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

Now that Mrs Rogers hIs been hanged 1t is about time to quit arguing about her case.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

Witte begins to think dynamite factory would be restful alongside his present job.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

The line must be drawn somewhere, and it has been drawn by Mayor Ward
 against forty-eight consecutive drinks.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

The pass-absorbing politician thinks sad, sad year is coming.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

Premier Balfour is in a Chamberlain hole, and he does not know how to get out of it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

Sarah Bernhardt can not dodge mis- siles as readily as she could in her leaner days.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

There won't be much Christmas for tie Panama canal.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

It's the government dispatches that are censored nowadays in Russia
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

The billion-dollar trust in Pittsburg is not school of ethics
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

Corporation magnates and campaign contributions are about to part com pany.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

Books will do If you cant fud any thing else to give. Buy them in job lots
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

Sarah Bernhardt should feel grateful for the way she was mobbed in New York.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

MT. Corbett says that he is all actor now. The critics have their own opin. iC1ls.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

Henrik Sienkiewcz Is a Pole, and he is an enemy of the bureaucracy
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

finger right up to the Christmas sea- son.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

Birmingham is busy this week in a theatrical way.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

President Corey of the steel trust may get Mable, but he Will lose his j;o.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

Snow in El Paso is a reminder that winter Is coming
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

The Pensacola Journal will issue a big Christmas edition next Sunday. The paper Is sure to be a good one.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

The troubles in the Corey family have not been bettered by publicity.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

The Eutaw Whig and Observer came out this week in new dress. The style of the paper has been changed and the re- suit is a great improvements The Whig and Observer is of the solid weekly papers of the state. It is well edited and always readable.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

The Chattanooga Times issued a great paper last Sunday. It was not a special edition but showed an immense amount of advertising and reading matter. The Chattanooga Times is one of the most attractive daily papers in the south.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

day q we'll edited and interesting sup
 plement called "Our Women in the War"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

No communication will be published without its authors name. Rejected man uscripts will not be returned unless stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12
WITH OTHER EDITORS.

How is your cold?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

his mother-in-law 50 cents for a meal she took at his house when he should not have charged her more than 25 cents.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

Remittances can be made at current rate of exchange. The AgeHerald will not be responsible for money sent through the mails. Address
 rrI1Ia k6uT IJIrD n
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

Daily and Sunday Age-Herald. .......$ S 10 Daily and Sunday, per month......,... 10 Sunday ARe-Herald per annum..... 2.00 Weekly Age Herald. per annum m....... l.0O
 Subscription payable in advance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

Washington Bureau Age-Herald 1i2l G street, N. W.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

l.. + Russ. George b Britain and r. D. Pickens are the only authorized tray cling representatives of The Age-Herald in its circulation department.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

Entered at the Birmingham Ala, post office as seeond-class matter under act of Congress March 3, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12
INDIFFEREN

What are the wild waves saying To the hotels by the sea? We don't care; we're not paving Any big bills there, b'gee.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

western man was caught in the act of trying to marry a woman barber so he could get free slaves. 'Sdeath! The dear girl spurned him just in time to save her honorrrrrri
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-12

If you desire you may purchase little Agnes Q doll house for s200 and there are elegant toy theatres for Bobby which can be had for ssoo. Be sure you are rich, then go ahead.
Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1905-09-21

A. B. McLayne, Of whitwell, is a
new subscriber.
WATCH US GROW.
Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1905-09-21
WANTS THE PAPER.

Herrin, ILL.,, Sept. is, 1905.
Editor News;
l noticed in the News where a gen.
tleman declined to take the News long
er for he was law-abiding citizen,
and did not approve of the position of
the News, which he was afraid his
children would pattern after. The
gentleman is good enough sort of
man, but we think he is mistaken a.
bout the News, and although we have
never taken it before we are now ready
to take it. AS to the nom union min
ers, we only regret that they cannot
see the point as we do. / propose to
stick to the union as long as l have
ground to stand on. have not had a
chance to get much education, but /
realize that the union means the ad-
vancement Of the working men.
SAM ANDERSON.
Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1905-09-21
ChamberIain's Cough Remedy Acts on Ma
ture's Plan.

The most successful medicines are
those that aid nature. Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy acts on this plan. Take
1t when you have cold and it will al
lay the cough, relieve the lungs, aid
expectoration, open ths secretions and
aid nature in restoring the system TO q
healthy condition. Thousands have
testified to its superior excellence. 1t
counteracts any tendency OF cold to
result in Pneumonia. Price, 25c. Large
size, soc. For sale by Jno. w. Simp-
son, Jasper, Tenn.
Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1905-09-21
RooPs, TENN.

Special 10 The Ne1eS.
There was large crowd out at sing
ing Sunday.
Miss jamie Degnan and an awful
nice looking fellow were out at the
singing Sunday.
Miss Alice Parker was all smiles Sun
day. Guess she saw her best fellow
Dave Passmore and Thomas New
som had fine time visiting Misses
Lizzie Smith and Minnie Hamilton
Sunday.
Miss jamie Degnan spent Sunday
with Miss Sarah Higdon
John McNabb and Miss Sallie Sny~
der visited the drum Sunday even
ing. John said that Miss Sallie Is
the sweetest girl he ever saw and
that she was nearly as sweet as sugar.
Miss jamie Degnan visited the post
Office Sunday, wearing n beautiful silk
dress. Morning Glory.
Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1905-09-21
Too Immoral.
Whitwell. Tenn Sent

Whitwell, Tenn, Sept. s, 1905.
Messrs. Hill & Son, Sequatchie, Tenn.
Dear Sirs: After reading your edi-
torials in the last issue of the Sequa-
chez Valley News, we, the undersign-
ed subscribers are forced TO the con-
clusion that your paper is unfit to en-
ter and be read in the families of de-
cent and law-abiding citizens, hence,
we respectfully ask that you discon-
tinue your paper to each Of our names
which are hereto attached.
We further ask that If any of these
are in arrears for subscription, that
you kindly send statement of such
amounts due and the same shall be
forthcoming. Yours respectfully,
]. w. Morrison,
W. NJ. Morrison.
B. Baker,
E. H. Barker.
Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1905-09-21

w E. Thomas, of Whitwell, renews
his subscription.
80 WATCH US:GRoW.
Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1905-09-21
Mrs. Mamie Cookson, of Altamont,
renews her subscription.
WATCH US GROW.
NEW HOPE.

SpendI fofhe NesVy.
School is progressing nicely.
Rev. A. NJ, Hunt preached an excel
lent sermon here Sunday.
John Moore and sisters took dinner
with Miss Ella Hudson Sunday.
Bryson Brymer and Bob Vandergfiff
were in this beat Sunday. Wonder
what was the attraction.
Prof Keller visited home folks Satur-
day.
A revival will begin here the night
of the 25th.
Miss Lula Simmons visited Miss Lola
Condra Saturday and Sunday.
Misses Della Pickett and Ida Barber
visited the Misses Easterly Sunday.
John Moore and Miss Lula Simrnnos
were driving Sunday.
Several from Oak Hill attended
church here Sunday.
Miss Lula Simmons called at the
post Office Monday.
Miss Matte Hudson looks sad this
week.
Robert Deakins and LYDIA Easterly
called on the Misses Hudson Sunday.
Wonld like to shake hands with
M. L. II. again. Black-eyes.
Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1905-09-21

Miss Eta Cope. of whitwell, again
reads the News
Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1905-09-21
A TEXAS WONDER.

One small bottle of the Texas Won
der, Halls Great Discovery, cures all
kidney and bladder troubles, removes
gravel, cures diabetes, weak and lame
backs, rheumatism and all irregulari-
ties of the kidneys and bladder in both
men and women, regulates bladder
trouble in children. IL not sold by your
druggist. will be- sent by mall on re-
ceipt Of 81. One small bottle is two
4 months treatment and will cure any
case above mentioned. DIR. E. w. Hall,
sole manufacturer, p. o. Box 629, St
Louis, Mo. Send for testimonial. Sold
by all druggists.