The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-12-09

nuts In the cake Cook-Ill crack no
more nuts to-day. Me jaw hurts me
already.-Harper's Bazaar.
Il don't like the man" ''Why nota"
II hadn't been talking to him Ave
minutes before he said was an idiot"
'Why the delay Judge.
Very Quick: First Russian-You
say the fight was quickly over? Sec
ond Russian-Yes, it was finished be-
fore you could say JackopolInsky Ro-
manoffopolotowsky.
Office Boy-wy, cert, l want more
pay; I'm only getting -four a week,
and give my mother all earn. Pro-
prietor-What do you do with the 9th
er three and a half?-Puck.
Willie-Papa, If l was twins would
you buy the other boy a banana, too?
Papa-Certainly, my son.. Willie
Well, papa, you surely amt going to
cheat me out of another banana just
because I'm all in one piece?-Judge.
Bronco Bill-What did Tough Temp
kins die Of? Grizzly Pete-Well, the
poor guy needed a change Of air an
couldn't get it. Bronco Blll-Lung
trouble? Grizzly Pete-No; he was
lynched.-Judge.
II got fine Job in de business col
lege." "Gee-wot dyer do?' de
writin' teacher hired me to shake de
table when de new pupils write. This
Is sample of my handwriting before
began taking lessons Exchange.
Brilliant Billy: Bill had bill
board. Bill also had a board bill. The
board bill bored Bill, so that Bill sold
the billboard to pay his board bill. SO
after Bill sold his billboard to pay his
board bill, the board bill no longer
bored Bill.
Useless Expense: Lawyer-Now,
see here; before l take your case,
want to know II you're guilty Pris-
oner-Am I guilty? Dyer suppose I'd
be fool enough ter hire the most ex
pensive lawyer in the town If l wuz
innercent2
do you know" said a Sunday
school teacher addressing a new pupil
, In the infant class, that you have q
. soul?" Course l do" replied the lit
tie fellow, placing his hand over bis
/ heart, II can feel it tick."-Moberly
t Wo) Monitor.
t The Indian Bureau: I've beer
3 radin'," said Pat, "a good dale In thu
I papers about bureau for the Indians
d Now, don't believe in their havin'
3. bureau. l can't afford to have a ou
reau mesilfl l kape me papers in
box under the bed"
Parson-Of course you are not afrai'
to die, Brother Jones. Your good wife
t who went before, will meet you a
e the pearly gates. you know. Sick MAJ
q Yes; and peach of a time I'll nav
- explaining to her all I've done for tn
past ten years!-Judge.
Another Heartless Monopolist: Mr.
e Gabble-No, indeed, l don't have tina
u woman doctor any more. Mrs. Quer
y Why, thought you liked her. Mrs
Z Gabble-Oh, she got to be hateful Sn
used to keep the thermometer in m
y mouth nearly all the time, so that
- couldn't say a word, while she monoI
g olized the conversation
= A Lively Animal: He was goot
r natured German, and his face ralrl
ar beamed as he walked into a dru
,r store. The first thing that caught hi
10 attention was an electric fan buzzin
D. busily on the soda counter. He locke
ts at 1t with great interest, and the
is turned to the clerk. "Py golly! /
of said, smilingly, "dat's lily squlrr
yot you got in dare, amt idT'-Lipph
colts Magazine.
Refined Pork: Harold was playir
: keep store" and had prevailed upo
his grandmother to become one of b
r patrons. When she appeared In Il
role of customer he said: Have son
ID nice vegetables or fruit or meat? He
n is some extra nice boiled ham. Ha'
-. some?" mo, thank you" she said,
don't like ham" "Oh, but l THU
ed you'd like this, ma'am. 1t is hardly
It. bit ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.
e. A Memory for Dates: scho
nv teacher was trying to impress upon
scholars mind that Columbus disco
cred America in 1892. Now, John
n ~ he said, II will tell you the date
- rhyme, so that you won't forget 1t.
- fourteen hundred and ninety-two {
~ lumbus sailed the ocean blue No
=. can you remember that. John "Ye'
h replied John. Next day the teach
- said, John, when did Columbus d
"A cover America p s'In fourteen hundr
=. and ninety-three Columbus sailed t
Of dark-blue sea-"
of Improving the Opportunity: He
&C. my good man." she said one day Ia
re- week to a man who had begged all
of her, "here is a three-penny pie
and please to understand that do 4
give this because l hope to be REVEAL
mt ed for my charity some day, but
ice cause 1t gives me pleasure to do 81
St The burly beggar looked obviously
IN the tiny silver coin. Look ERE. mum
he he said, IN this ere wicked world
, a don't often get the chance to enj
lite ourselves. Why not make It = shlll
Tr. and ave a real good timer
-. Ironfcal.
Not without a sense of humOr is
~ ror.~ Caoroforv Of Ctoto