The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09

FIRST Old Lady-He was a bad char
acter; but believe he repented at last
Second Old Lady-Oh, no, he didn't;
saw that he died ntestate.-London
Globe.
Whata beautiful hat you're wearing
today" I'm so glad you like it You
have such good taste" Eyes, 1 had
one just like it-last year"-Meggen-
dorfer Batter.
Poor old Henpeck leads a dogs life
with his wife" "Well. why on earth
doesn't he apply for a divorceY' He
says he wanted to. but she wouldn't
let him."-Ex.
II a man smiles and looks pleased
when you pay him a compliment, pay
him another one. In time you may be
able to borrow money from him.-Som-
erville Journal.
My DOCTOR" said Blllyuns, has or
dered me to take more exercise"
What are you going to doT Have
the ticker moved across the room from
my desk."-Ex.
Young Mother-The doctor says you
shouldn't kiss the baby; it isn't sani-
tary. Old Neighbor-Poor little fell
low-why don't you wash him7-De-
trolt Free Press.
Victim-What has happened7 Where
am IT Doctor-You have been serious
ly injured in a trolley accident. But
cheer up-you will recover. Victim
How much?-Ex.
Bank Cashier-You have overdrawn
your account, madam. Lovely Lady
That is just like mel My husband says
l am always exaggerating everything.
-Somerville Journal.
i Mamma-Of course you said, "Oh,
this is so suddenr' when Tom finally
proposed. Daughter-No; l fully In
tended to, but was SO excited l for
got, and exclaimed, AT lastP'-Ex.
"Oh, Mr. Brown, why did you leave
the Christian Science church," Real
ly, Miss Jones, If you will have the
truth, got so awfully tired OF being
so persistently cheerful all the time"
Life.
First Author-Have you sold many
copies OF your book7 Second Author
(absently)-wonderful. over a hun
dred thousand First Author-Wher
! was it issued7 Second Author-NeIt
! Tuesday.-Life.
Mother-Bobby, 1 begged papa foi
I an hour to-day to buy a pony, but be
! won't do it. Bobby Indignantly
Why didn't you burst into tears
= Couldn't you do that much for me7-
: New York Mail.
+ "I understand that your boy is get
ting an education" "Yassuh," answer
g ed Uncle Raspberry, IAN mebbe he
/ dom better'n dat. I honestly b'lieve
" he's gittin' sense along VIII it,
e Washington Star.
Il did tn docther find out what 1t 1
Il that's ailin' YER" mo. He said tn
II nawthin' but a postmortem examina
J. ton wud liver reveal ut An l haven
e enough curiosity about ut to have
/ DONE cleveland Leader.
Dear pop" wrote the boy from tn
2 art school, don't send me any NOR
e money! have saved half that whic
Won sent me last month" Com
/ home" wired the old man, you
never make an artist."-Puck-
Chief-Do you mean to say that 20
-, haven't been able to get single ele'
as to the perpetrator Of this crime
nj Detective-Naw. Them newspaper r.
porters is down on me and they won
la tell me anything.-Cleveland Leader.
Reporter-I understand that one
vour guests committed suicide la
night by hanging himself out of
third-story window. Lodging-hou'
q Keeper-Well, there was such room
or in the air for a while.-Town To
n les.
Alice rushed in from the garde
As whore she had been picking flower
she was badly stung by a bee, al
- was holding on to her finger and so
hing pitifully. "Oh, mamma, 81
i'd cried. at burned me on a bug!''
Brooklyn Life.
IT Young Lady (repeating conversati'
n deaf old gentleman)-Miss Fri
~ saws IT gave her such a fright De
- old Gent-Eh? 1 didn't quite
Young LdOy-SuCh o AAAeAN-
to Gent-Ah, yes-I agree with you
she isi-Punch.
all IT suppose. madam" said the arc
tect. You will want an electrolier p
in the drawing-roomT Sure" a
swered Mrs. Neurich; II don't knc
how to play one. but III begin TAXI
lessons at once, regardless Of cost"
IS Chicago Daily News
0, by the way, what has become
40 Browns book. One Hundred Sh'
ce Cuts to wealth. that he was work.
is 50 hard upon last year?' "Oh. Bro
en- enished the book all right. but W
he unable to raise money enough to ha
or n Judge
~ "Perkins-you know Perkins-ent
ne al into an agreement with his W
,iu aeon after their marriage, twei
Ks years ago, that whenever either /
OF tar,ner or stormed, the other was
Ire aan silence" "And the sche
at rorked?" Admirably. Perkins
In generally kept silence for twel
wears. "-Tit-Bit
SPANS Linguistic King