St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1905-03-29
A Dissertation on Hens.
"a little nonsense now and then,
L. ..oIsnhnd hur the natiaeaf men. ~

that his efforts along scientific lines were
appreciated as he revealed to the world
that even the hen is subject to that
dread disease which spares neither man
nor his beast.
1t is highly fitting, that the hen, one of
earth's most thoroughly esteemed and
useful citizens, should, after centuries of
ignorings, at last become the subject of
banquet toast. That l am given the
distinguished honor of first representing
these industrious, lawabiding people on
a postprandial occasion, is an honor for
which am deeply grateful; yet realize
my inability to do the subject full justice.
However, assure you that my labors
have been with the sincere intention OF
rendt ring just tribute to that wonder
full piece of architecture, the hen.
In the first chapter of Genesis we are
informed that on the fifth day of the Gre
alton hens were manufactured, or exact
ly one day earlier than man was created,
and two days after gardens came into
existence.
Thus it will be readily observed that If
we pay proper respect to the order of Gre
alton, gardens have the first right, hens
the second, while man must be content
with the third position in the race.
But whether we recognize the fact or
not, gardens and hens have, since history
| began, been closely related, and that re-
lationship, though assailed by every con-
ceivable torn OF missile and profanity,
and subjected to all the vile ISLANDERS the
centuries could invent, still remains firm.
Hens and garden are one and insepara-
BILE today.
This circumstance, though it may ap-
pear trifing, is valuable evidence, as prov
ing the eternal constancy of hens
heart, shows that once her affections are
won, she belongs to your garden until
death embraces her. In this connection,
a celebrated writer remarks:-"0f late
years keep fowls instead OF garden,
formerly my ueighbors kept fowls and |
| kept garden"
For years have made special study
of the hen, and the more l become
acquainted with her profound and Gull
tured ways, the more truthiully can | ex-
claim with the e;:-Verily the hen is a
marvellous beast, and 10, she is filled to
OVERLOOKING with that which causeth a
man to calculate in foreign tongue.
intellectually the hen is not dazzling
success. Her low, narrow forhead indi-
Gates a lack of brain force and spiritual
ity, and several other fine points which,
from a theological stand point, go to the
making up OF an ideal life; yet her regu-
larry carved features from the chin up to
and including her nicely shaded eyebrows,
furnish landscape OF much diversity
and beauty as well as much food for pro-
found reflection to the thoughtful OBJ
server.
But when we consider this matter seri-
ously, it is indeed surprising how little
progress the hen has made. The hen of
Adams time with limited educational
advantages, knew just as much of litera
ture, art music, and the sciences, as the
hen who has enjoyed the benefits of liv-
ing in this century. AS race, the hen is
not ambitious. does not aspire beyond
the feats of her ancestors, content to
waddle along 10 thesame old ruts, won't
even try to do any better than the hen
of ages ago.
One egg per day was their achievement
in the beginning, and one egg per day is
all you can extract from the beasts at
this period, and the day and all attend
ing circumstances must be extremely fay.
orable to get that.
Allow me at this point to say, do not
consider this entirely the fault OF the hen.
Evidence tends to show that poultry
keepers have not properly endeavored to
increase the producing capacity of the
hen. While we have doubled and tripled
the products of the COW, ETC., we have
strangely enough been content to let the
hen go on in the same old way-one egg
per day-whereas by careful attention in
breeding and strict regard to important
details, it is not improbable to suppose
{ a variety of hen could be constructed
that would produce several eggs per day,
to the single hen.
For instance: in the average flock OF
thirty hens, we get from one to two eggs
every other week, from the entire lot.
Two eggs at two and one half cents each
equals five cents, cost of feed for SO hens
for eighteen days, not including trouble
equals APO cents or net profit to some
one OF 415 cents, but instead Of such
small results, suppose the new style OF
hen produces an egg every seven hours
it becomes evident to the candid student,
that the net profits would be greatly in
creased.
So far as | am aware no scientific
known reason exists, why hen answer.
ing this description, shouldn't in due
J course of time make her debut in Ameri
, can society.
Why for a moment consider the as
founding feats OF the potato bug, borr
in extreme poverty and short OF stature
i and absolutely destitute of refining in
' fluences and feathers; yet producing
= 1856, 1875 eggs every second
OF all the monstrosities of nature tn,
Hen Justly occupies the first place. This
e bird, without teeth, can masticate any
= thing from scytheiactory down to dim,
novel, thus proving conclusively that al
this bosh dentists have stuffed our head.
with in regard to teeth, is nothing but
: swindling commercial scheme. The pro
: ducts of the hen, it is written have lifteC
= mortgages, educated children and caused
domestic and neighborhood quarrels; al
animal born without ears, yet hearing
: distinctly all rackets from the falling dew
+ up to an earthquake; given only the regu
lation number of toes, still this feathereC
beast can scratch over more ground, in {
given time, than can be gotten over will
steam harrow. She ushers into th
: cruel world an egg which Of itself con
Il tains all the ingredients necessary to life
and then cackles over it the same as othe