Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1905-07-07
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II Bontanist Burbank wishes to con-
fer real boon on humanity he should
set to work to improve the strawberry
at the bottom Of the box.-Chicago
News.
1t is costing Uncle Sam a big round
Of ducats for rural free delivery. In
return, he is entitled to the very best
highways local effort can give him.
Burlington Hawkeye.
It would be interesting IL the men
Of the nation could go into executive
session and find out how many Of them
secretly agree with Mr.. Cleveland in
bis criticism of women's clubs.-Wash-
lngton Post.
Mexico is extending a hearty well
come to Mormons and Dowietites, and
the United States will give them an
enthusiastic sendofr if they will only
migrate there en- masse.-San Fran
cisco Chronicle.
Wisconsin has driven out the ciga-
rette, and now proposes to tax the
bachelor. There is nothing left for
the bachelor but to come to Oregon,
where he can smoke himself to death.
Portland Oregonian.
The Usage Indians might, If they
possessed the enterprise, successfully
buck the Standard Oil Company. They
have the money, the oil, the gas, the
railway facilities and the markets.
Okla h0ma TYmoS. JournoI
The sale Of Captain Kidd's house
In New York the other day attracted
no attention. When it comes to gen.
uine piracy there are thousands Of
New Workers. who have him beaten to
death.-Wilmington Journal.
Once on time man stopped tax
Ing very good newspaper because the
paper printed something he didn't like.
The paper survived, but in the course
of time the man went the way Of all
flesh and was forgotten.-Augusta
Chronicle.
Missouri has new game law that
will prevent the ladies from trimming
their hats with the plumage Of birds.
The legislators who voted for this
measure may as well save useless ex-
pense and decline re-election.-Pitts
burg Gazette.
1gorrotes are again advertising ex-
positions by reported dog feast in
Oregon. At all events 1t can be said
for the gmleless and shirtless savages
that their style of life makes them In
dependent Of the dressed-beef combi-
MISUNDERSTANDING Dispatch.
A Chicago woman shot and killed
her husband to keep him at home.
And yet, unless she took the precau-
ton to provide herself with a cold.
storage plant, her plans may slightly
interfere with the rules of the Chicago
Health Observation-Disclosures Chron-
icIe.
Heretofore "Elijah III" Dowie has
been able to satisfy his followers by
giving them revelation" whenever
they became importunate. But now
some Of the heaviest investors among
them are calling for statement of ac-
counts instead Of a revelation.-Savan.
nah News.
Mr.. Hoch announces that he will die
like Christian, statement which
suggests the reflection that If Mr.. Hoch
had lived like Christian he could
still have died like one, though the
date of his demise might lave been
postponed considerably. = Chicago
Chronicle.
August W. Machen, already in pri.
son, has been sentenced to an addi.
tional term under another Indictment.
Doubtless he deserves all he is getting
but is he to shoulder the punish
ment for the whole crew of scoundrels
concerned in the postof1ce department
frauds s?-Buffalo Courier.
Rev. Anna Shaw declares that wo-
men will never get the ballot until
they adopt the slogan, mo ballots, ne
babies!' 1t is the fool suffragists of
this type that have delayed the grant
ing Of woman suffrage so long. What
do you think of the Rev. Anna and her
slogan, anyway Topeka Herald.
It is reported that there is a wide
spread and growing desire among the
young men Of this country to rush
away to Panama for the purpose of
helping to dig the canal. We regard
it as our duty to publicly announce
that the walking on the way back from
Panama is very poor in some places.
Pine Bluff (Ark) Press-Eagle.
Fitzhugh Lee had the naughty bear
ing of the Old Dominion aristocrats.
but under that exterior of conscious
pride beat the heart Of one of Gods
noblemen. When the war broke ont
he cast his fortunes with his native
State. When it was over, he gulped
down the bitterness and humiliation
like true soldier and swore allegiance
to the flag of our common country.
Now he has gone to his eternal rest.
with this the judgment of his fellow
men that there throbbed within the
bosom Of Fttzhugh Lee the heart of a