The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15
HVMOR OF THE Day

Mrs Buggins-You used to tell me I
Mr.. Buggins-I know but that was be-
fore had to help you into your dresses
Record
Parliamentary said If he married her
she'd make an angel OF him.
Patrice-Vell. she accomplished part OF
the contract She's made him fly about
a good Post-Dispateh.
''Wol. I guess old s1yman is beginning
to make his pile
why do you think soT
Hes going around blowing about how
much happier a man is when he's poor"
Philadelphia Ledger.
Magistrate-Well, young man. what ex-
cuse have you for taking the picture
Young Man-Judge, I didn't know my
camera was loaded.-Chicago Journal.
Undertaker-But have you had any
experience in enbalmingz
Butcher (o4t of a 5ob)-8ave l? Well
l guess so! worked eight years for the
Beef Trust--Puck.
Before we were married." said Mrs.
Peck, you declared your willingness TO
''-Wen . rejoined. Peck, '4f this isn't a
living death I don't know what is
Chicago News.
How did Henpecked happen to join
SO interested in science?"
Science nothingi It was the only ex-
home. Detroit Free Press.
Pa Twaddles-I wish you'd put Tomnsy
Ma Twaddles-What's the rnatter7
Pa Twaddles-Oh, he's Fostering the ere
out of ne to find out what relation a
Cleveland Leader
sternly, you viii leave on Saturday AID
mendationH'
''Faix.' replied Bridget. "Oi how no 10
tintion o, giyin ye q Recommendations oflt
tell the truth about We to livery girl tnet
axes me. '-Philadelphia Press.
'Poddleton has bought an absolutely
YES And he's got the noisiest horn IN
town attached to t-"-Cleveland Plstfs
Dealer.
has a heavy voicer' said the grocer : boy.
.'So?" said the first floor cook
sNYeB should sayi She threw It down
the dumb waiter at me the other day and
it nearly broke me up in businessi''-De
troit Free Press.
aOh. my brethren. the Lord is calling
your cried the preacher with dramatic
7 haven't got anything-only little
pair, murn1ured Deacon Swift. waking
up with start-Philadelphia Ledger.
what did Harry say when he pro-
HE didn't really say anything at first,
but when mamma came in and put her
| back against the door and nodded her
head at him in her persuasive way he
his voice and then I said yes real
quick. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Wen welli'7 exclaimed the city mer-
chant, who had gone back to visit the
farm OF his boyhood days; Here's the
old feed chopper. wish I had a cent for
every. cornstalk I've run through that
Kind o. seems to bring everything
back to YOU. does it?'' said the farmer.
Everything, said the merchant 4-ex-
cept the forehnger and part of the thumb
fed into it one day.'-Chicago Tribune.
John said the indignant mother. mis-
teacher has sent our William home from
school. Now 1 want you. before you go
to the office tomorrow, to write her and
tell her she must give William back his
And the next day the trucuIent william.
presented the astonished teacher with tho
a6sent-ininded parents note, which read:
please reseat this BIZ promFAtIy. Pal
timore American.
One of the rural schools in Kansas has
a pretty girl as its teacher. but she was
much troubled at first because
many of her pupils were late every morn
ing At last she made the announcements
that she would kiss the first ul7gaii 10 az
rvs AZ the Schoet mouse the next morn
ing. At sunrise the three largest boys OF
aer class were sitting on the doorstep OF
the school house. and by. 6 O'Clock every
boy IN the school, and four of the diree-
LOIS were waiting Tor her to arrfve.--New
" hen you get blue, don't SWIVEL
And herate Fate-instead,
just get some bright vermillion
And go and paint things red.
Buffalo Evening News
Oars plenty er wise men in de WORT
but dey SO busy admirin, deyse'f Won
Co1s4t+ - ls1es cey allenuon.-Atlanta