The Colorado statesman., 1905-01-28

slow boy and slower girl who can't
get enough fun out of Christmas week
to last them until camp meeting sea
son, which comes after laying-by time
Christmas is the season of dances, So
cials, candy pullings and big suppers,
and such suppersl My, my, but can
almost feel tingling sensation in my
feet when | think of the old fiddler
and see the pretty buxom girls in
their homemade frocks."
"At Christmas dinner given to the
unfortunates of Blackwell's island a
number of years ago" says a Repre-
sentative from New York, "a number
of prominent persons were present
and took part in the one happy day
for the poor devils of almost every
nationality. Among the guests was a
certain Archbishop and when the din
ner was being served and everything
was running smoothly. legal gentle
man was called on for a toast in hon
or of the Archbishop. The aforesaid
legal light arose and said:
"'Our illustrious friend and guest,
Archbishop -, the representative of
the majority Of the unhappy and un-
fortunate inhabitants of this island
There was no disputing the truth
of the sentiment, and it was swal-
lowed with good feeling"
One Christmas Eve a number of
years ago, when Representative Adam
son of Georgia was Judge of his coun-
ty court, young man was before him
charged with the larceny of watch.
1t was the young mans first offense,
and the judge was disposed to let him
off gently. especially as he pleaded
that he wanted to be home on Christ
mas. 81 had been sick several days
before | committed this crime" said
the young man.
What has that to do with your TAX
ing a watch which did not belong to
you?" asked the judge, who also add
ed, 81 suppose the doctor told you to
take something'?"
Yes, your honor, and | thought II
| had the time, that nature would
work cure"
This was too much for the judge,
and he made the sentence three
months, but, as is the custom in that
section of the country in the matter of
trivial offenses, the fellow was par
doned next morning as a Christmas
gift.
Senator Clay is putting on a strut
because the president has promised
him that he will be his guest when he
I, t,.;D
Representative from that state. Il
envy the senator and I know the presi-
dent viii have a good time. But this
reminds me, the senator lives in the
beautiful little city of Marietta, of
which place the long since deceased
Judge Underwood said that he had
rather die there than any place on
earth. The judge was asked his rea-
son for wishing to shuttle off this NOR
tai coil in Marietta, and his reply was
that he could leave it with less regret
than any place on earth. Strange to
say that the judges wish was carried
out he having died at Marietta while
holding court there.
Marietta is not far from Roosevelt,
where the presidents mother was
born, and where there is a large fac
tory, and where the people are con-
ted and prosperous"
1--WE don't celebrate the Glorious
Fourth to any very great extent down
in my neck O. the woods" remarks
Representative johnson of South Car
olina, but the fireworks put in full
time on Christmas. 1t may be heathen-
ish to celebrate Christmas with the
Blowing of tin horns and shooting of
fireworks, but we fellows down home
have been raised that way and Christ
mas is not Christmas without fire
crackers and such things.
Il want to get a good square shoul-
der hitter at the goody good man who
says there's no Santa Claus. Why, the
very happiest days of my life were
those before | knew that the old fell
low really didn't come down the Chin
ney and dispense his gifts"