The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-23
HUMOR OF THE Day

'why don't people go to the theater in
There's no fnducement.'' answered the
man who sees merit in modern plays
''It is just as warm out OF doors as 1t IL
inside. Washington Star.
Ell, you two are always quarreling when
come in
the masculine n end Of the domestic oon5ro-
versy. you always happen IN when we're
rreling!''-Chicago Tribune.
Eyes, my New York society sheet is a
ing"
Half the peoepie want something pat In
and the other half wants something left
out."-Houston Post.
Are you quite sure your shooting was
accidental7" asked the hospital surgeon.
oh. yes!" gasped the dying victim.
r, OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES gun and
90. rs there any message you wish to-
so.-Ahv'-Philadelphia Ledger.
Sadie Brown seems to have lost all her
young men admirers. She'd often have
three or four on the porch at one time.
Now she sits there all alone"
Yes. Sadie perfumes herself with musk,
you know, because somebody told her IL
would keep off the mosquitoes. '-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
Adam had just discharged the office boy.
He wanted to lie under the old apple
stung by the insult he hastily inserted
an ad.-New York Sun.
Junior Partner-I guess it's time to fire
the cashier.
Senior Partner-Caught him gambling.
have you?
Junior Partner-No: but he's begun
| teaching Bible class.-Pittsburg Post.
What, may I ask. was the keenest dis
appointment OF your career? asked the
anxious interviewer.
The great financier stared coldly at the
ink bottle. 1T when 1 was four
years old, think he drawled, when /
woke up one morning and found my red
oalloon shrunken to one-fourth the size
of the day before. ''-Detroit Free Press
Bessie-I simply refused to give him Up,
50 papa stepped in and dragged me on to
Tessie-so you had to give him up after
all?
Bessie-Mercy, yes! On the third day out
gave up everything. Leader
Miss Ascum-when Mr.. Richley saw my
photograph yesterday he said it was very
miss Gheii1s1No: quite the reverse He
said it was a good likeness.-Philadelphi
Press.
Mrs rs; Gppiy. 80.
NO, answered MRS. COnnor. It's too
hot for Wesley to dig bait now.'-Detroit
Tribune.
He-A marvellous discovery my dear
ladyi That life can be produced in steriI-
lied bouillon by the action of the radiun
What trains of thought it gives rise tol
Why, this may have happened in this
world OF ours, millions of years aRoi
| Shc-Er-yes, of course! 1 understand
| that there might have been radiurn then.
but-er-where did they get the beef tea?
| Punch
There's a boy for you,' exclaimed the
Billville citizen Been to town six times,
| an, never blowed out the gas but once
| Atlanta Constitution.
"Dearest!' whispered Cordelia, after she
| had captured the coveted solitaire, At have
confession to make. I am a cooking
| school graduate
Clarence shuddered "Oh! wellt'' he re-
! Joined. after the manner of one resigned
| to his fate, I'VE can board. "-Chicago
| News.
"of course. a kodak camera takes pic
-'Of course it does" replied his wife
| What are you driving at anyway
Il was just going to remark that it also
takes money. Philadelphia Press
Judge-It seems to me I've seen you be-
| fore.
| Frisoner-You have my lord I used to
| give your daughter singing lessons
| Judge-Twenty years.-Answers