Warren sheaf., 1905-04-13


Girl Often Feels It Her Duty to 90
More Than Half Way - Modesty
the Best Policy in the Long Run.
BY KATE UPsoN CLARK.
(Author of Bringing Up Boys ETC.:
president of the Wheaton club, New
Il York;
Copyright. 1905, by Joseph B. Bowles.)
But he was SO dreadfully shy pro-
tested the girl.
1t makes no difference" argued her
shocked mother. you should not have
done it: A young girl should never
send her visiting card to young man
under any circumstances
1T seems to me-" continued the girl.
that | might send my card when my
address has been changed He is the
son of well-known clergyman"
Ministers sons are often dreadful
fellows!" interrupted the mother.
But he is not, and you know it. He
is simply very dif11dent. If he had ever
asked me If he might write to me
should have dropped him line
1T is wonder that you did not ask
him to correspond with you,' COM
mented the mother, coldly.
Girls do sometimes-just that-nice
girls, too."
Il should hope that my daughter
never would"
"Well, certainly did not in this
case. just sent him my card to show
that l had gone to x college, in
stead OF y, as had told him when
we last met. X college is near
him, you know"
"Oh, Of course, he understood that
you were perfectly crazy to have him
call upon you. He will probably de-
lures who haven't particle of
modesty" :,
"But now he has written to the ma
trOn to ask if he may call, and she
has referred to you, mother. I have
told you exactly how the matter
stands, and you have been terribly
hard on me, but l hope you Will write
CALL"
The mother, after more expostula-
tion, allowed the young man to call
upon her daughter, All this happened
Is years ago. The girl and the young
man have been married ten years and
the match has turned out to be an ex-
ceptionally happy one.
Nevertheless the mother was right
and in most cases the young man
would really have despised the girl.
Talking over this question with the
judicious mother of three marriage
able daughters she said of her eldest, a
plain and rather too serious, but truly
lovely, girl: "Adela might have been
married to any one of three or four
delightful young men, If she had only
been willing to show them how much
she liked them. No young man wants
to be turned down. and Adela is SO
painfully anxious to reveal no undue
liking that she went to the other ex-
treme. ..,..,.
One after another they dropped
of. l do not know that she was in
love with any one of them, but feel
sure that she liked them all rather un-
commonly well, and they were such fine
fellows that she might have grown to
love any one of them-or so it seemed
to her father and me- But she has a
horror OF what are slangily called
'man-chasers', and therefore she re-
NAMED so strictly impartial that no.
body could tell her feelings at ALL It
is great puzzle, deciding how far a
modest girl should go in 'encourag-
ing young man. sighed the mother.
distinguished writer has promul-
gated the doctrine that there will be
no equality between the lOve-suitor and
the suited until the economic question
is better adjusted between men and
women. She reminds us that in fam
lilies where the woman has more money
than her husband he almost never sues
for divorce. The man, in our present
social condition, has more to give to
the woman than she has to give to
him, especially in our older and more
thickly settled states. Therefore she
is, as "a rule, more ..esirous of marry
ing him than he is of marrying her.
Yet she must not show this. desire,
since tradition has made it almost a
crime for any woman to dare TO fall in
love with any man until his majesty
shall indicate that he wishes to have
her.
Now for the exceptionally beautiful
or graceful or entertaining or .rich
girls, who are all more or less in q
position to dictate terms, the situation
is not very hard. But vast number
of girls belonging to good families can
not properly be classed under any one
Of these heads-they are just fairly
good looking, everyday, commonplace
girls, often with strongly lovable
hearts or characters, which cannot be
displayed in society, where only the
Shower traits usually appear. If they
fall deeply in love, as many of them
do, without proper encouragement
they sometimes trangress the laws of