New-York tribune., 1905-11-14
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

THE TALK OF THE DAY.
out in Kansas They Are Happy Now" is fire.
ouently used by the weekly papers as heading
over wedding announcements The Iindsborg
News" which is edited by a bachelor girl has
changed it to They Are Happy-Now"
You snould make your story end happily sug-
'Oh I'll fix that replied the author. TN sim
ply have my hero and heroine divorced in the
last chapter r"-Phlladephia Record
London broker. German Jew. had his hat
tipped over his face by another Of the same rae
A few hours later the friend met the broker
and attempted to repeat his clever jest ihe tat
ter drew away and, raising his hand, said aus
tereIy: LOOK here mine frierdtt To play do
mind sometime, but always never.
Ought To Be Happy-Towne- hear aEai Mapryat apryat
and his bride longer living at that ooaro-
BrowneNo they've gone % Gf iIs bring
them much closer togetIh,esr and. ,o,or fat
CBostoa Advertiser
Italian prisons got so full this year that the
government had to resort to royal clemency 10
some of the occupants. in order to make room
for denquents crowded out. decree was issued
last August. and since then 1856 prisoners nave
been pardoned and 3.072 have had their sentences
reduced
A Jewish rabbi named Isaac Meyer Yesselson
gave extraordinary evidence in Dublin the other
day in case in which a pawnbroKer named Max
support his wife They argued and argued. said
the rabbi. from the afternoon until O'Clock next
The Magistrate asked the rabbi what ground he
had for beeving that tn the n3nd %Gan Baeause she
grasped him by the coat ana ne diah hoNe' iie
stood like a stone."-Nondon Mail
The central department Of the French customs
is organizing unique museum. but one OF high
utility in its own sphere The curiosities dis
played are neither rare ancient, but are SIM
ply the various devices of more than usuai IN
genuity which have enabled the smussier 10 oe-
feat the law Some of these devices are marNeis
of perverted intelligence. The exhibition is larger
than it is pleasant to contemplate. considering
that every exhibit represents successfu Irauu-
how many times repeated prooaoiy the oiuest
heads in the customs department could faruiy say
with any confidencs. But it is hoped that the ds-
play will give to the training Of future genera
tions of customs officers a completeness WHICH
was wanting in that of their predecessors.
THE AMATEUR GUNNER.
His brand new gun 'hammerless.
His powder, too. was what 49,, .,,.ss
lha' he "''u -(Philadelphia Press
melodrama presented at LIE Roy hah-'
last week and THE Reporter" declares that Wheh
the blind heroine gave the letter to the vliialn'
eunnosine # was her husband, woman. over
come by the dramatic fuiness of the moment, gave
a most soul-spending sigh 1t was sign 'tlia'
could easily melt the heart of the Egyptian sphlnx
and turn Pixies Peak into a seething mass or
lava"
A Joner-'Tt seems to me-" said Mrs. Oldcaste,
"that in these days there is no nope for the man
Il know it." replied her hostess. That must
be one reason why Josiah has such wonderful sue
cess He gets initiated in something new nearly
every week. k."-(Chicago Record-Heraid.
The largest dinner given assembled at Paris
a few days ago The Mutualists of France dned at
the Galerie des Machines. About fifty thousand
sat down together. Five hundred walters served
and Is 600 dishes used at nine miles OF tables
There were 10000 plates, which if piled up would
reach ten times higher than the Effel Tower. The
cheer included 25 600 bottles of red and white
wine 5000 bottles of beer. 5000 bottles of milk
10000 bottles of mineral waters. 5000 bottles of
champagne 1900 half bottles of liqueur, and two
steam urns each of 15-horsepower. brewed the
coffee Meats of all kinds weighed seventy tons.
and there were three-quarters of ton of cigars.
THE INDUSTRIOUS HEN
tTbe Swiss village of zofngen in
gau was decorated with flags yesterday in honor of
hen which had laid its thousandth egg-paily Expressl
Her thousandth egg. To what height
May perseverance mount
Did She with this result in sight
Maintain a careful count?
Nay, rather let us think of her
As careless of applause,
And needless of the civic stir
Her industry might cause
Could any hen foresee the fame
feat like this would bring?
I'm confident no fowl could claim
Like that that Of Il SCOTS Last Minstrel one
With trutllfuness may say.
This surely must have been an Tn
premeditated Lay!'
-(Punch.
writer in THE Boston Transcript recalls
some amusing blunders foreigners make in using
English, A Hungarian journalist. leading tc