New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-05-29
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

AustTaITR Us
face Of the earth. Municipal and State ownership
experiments which are the dreams Of only thu Wild
est radicals in this country, are there established
institutions. But all the leveling OF socialism
reads the door OF the Botanical Gardens at
Sydney notices the effect that person wearing
dirty clothes may enter the grounds. we don't
want laboring nl4n 20 come here in hts working
clothes" a keeper explains. I'VE want him TO go
home and put clean clothes, and bring his FAM
lily here. looking neat and clean, and have good
time. That makes the surroundings more cheerful
for everybody concerned"
Leading Lady-The advance agent engaged a
sqs for s Bg5sg and ana 5 msl9 STAFF STAFF
Sure " replied the advance agent ut Includes
the press agent, the chauffeur, the mar, who sends
notes and flowers, the man who takes the pug dog
out airing and the professional diamond stealer
But the hotel clerk had hed.-(Chicago News
The story in which an Irish Member Of Parliament
tells Of his rough treatment at the hands OF the
police while addressing his constituents in Galway
recalls to THE London Chronicle anecdote
illustrative OF the attitude OF the Royal Irish Con-
stabulary toward the Nationalist members During
a disturbance at eviction constable brought
his baton heavily down the head Of young man
who happened TO be the reporter OF The Irish
Times. Don't you know am member OF the
press? inquired the reporter. I beg your par
don'' said the constable. Il thought you were
Member of Parliament"
COLLARS AND PNEUNOGASTRIC.
about diseased condtoS Of the pneumosastro nerve
No" how about the glrdle you wearing round
OF course. Ills freshly Numbered free from smear
or course It's four-ply hnen-maybe just little
We know know you do youz buying at very tony store
or course It bears an inner brand which stamps It
The kind whose makers claim will stand the very
But here's here's the thing Ia ask you of your peri
Is it so high 1t monkeys with your pneumogastrio
Whatever is the pneumogastric nerve don't ask Of
It's one of those contraptions we shall never never
know not where it travels from. nor what its
wasn't there to rubber the day Of the creation.
know not if it journeys north south or east or
Nor If its course be hidden meath your headgear
But wise Professor Addlepate has said with solemn
"A lofty collar agitates your pneumogastro nerve
Hencetorth wen wear collars that will show
Wen plumb neglect our beauty. though our uecks
Wen take no reckless chances on the damage we
If to pnoumogastric nerves We proved ourselves
Who cares If people seeing may hand US out a
Because our long and freckled necka suggest the
From paths of hygienic right our feet must never
Sad lot is hts whose collar kills his pneumogastrie
nerve! -(BaltImore American
The Manx Language Society has been formed
and. TO carry out It's purpose Of preserving the
language OF the Isle OF Man. will send a phono-
graph to different parts of the island and old mon
whose accent Is pure will speak into the receiver
passages from the Scriptures, folklore stories
idiomauc sentences and proverbs When the rec
ords complete they will be kept at the ssciety's
rooms in Douglas. That is a novel use TO which
put the phonograph II Cicero and Pericles had
only talked into one CT the machines and the rec
ords had been handed down there would not now
be half dozen ways OF pronouncns Latin and
Greek.
No Help for ItI"shall We buy new automo-
bile?' The young husband looked at his wife anx-
lousy. The voice had strange tremor In 10.
The one we have Is in perfect running ORDER
he continued. The engine Is not worn a bit. The
newed. Everything about 1t is in first class shape
and we can. l think, get along beautifully. Don't
YOU dear?'
The wife rose 10 her full height. II evident
that her Indignation was fully aroused
You anuse me" she said, with q SLIGHT sneer.
Are you aware sir, that they not now using
those bodieSF Do YOU know that awnings
have gone outI Can YOU get IL through your duh
brain that nothing but nmosanaurn body is
fait2 And DO you suppose for moment that
would ever demean myself by entering my machine
last years hat
Whereupon her stricken husband Immediately tel
ephoned to have the back number taken to the iron
factory.-(Puck.