davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

gress has lined up with the railroads
against President Roosevelt's pro-
gramme. That one lives in Marshall
county. Yet a letter to the State Jour-
nal quotes Judge Sam Kimble. in
whose district Marshall county lies, as
saying that If the question of public
ownership We're submitted to the peo-
pie of Marshall county today it would
probably carry by a vote of three to
one.
Why don't the railroad magnates
get wise?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15
a Maffer al Time.

At a county fair a machine which
bore a sign reading How to Make
Your Trousers Last occupied a prom
inent position in the grounds, and at
tracted much attention. A country
man who stood gaping before it was
told by the exhibitor. a person with a
long black mustache, a minstrel-stripe
shirt, and a ninety-four-karat diamond
in a red cravat, that for one cent de-
posted in the slot the machine would
dispense its valuable sartorial advice.
The countryman dug the required coin
from the depths of a deep pocket and
dropped it in the slot. Instantly the
machine delivered card on which
was neatly printed:
Make your coat and waistcoat
first. ''-Harper's Weekly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15
An En1barrassing situation.

During the National CIVIC federatiOn' s
convention in New York delegate,
aprooos of mistake. said:
TT might have been embarrassing-as
embarrassing as the position of a young
man of Toledo whom I heard about the
other day
HE had been calling now and then on
a young Toledo lady, and one night, as
he sat in the parlor waiting for her to
come down, her mother entered the room
instead and asked him in very grave,
stern way what his intentions were.
HE turned very red and was about TO
stammer some incoherent reply, when
suddenly the young lady called down
from the head of the stairs:
Mamma, mamma, that is not the
one. Exchange
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15
mRDITcATINc,, ne PE0PLE.

It IS announced that the bureau
OF information. established several
months ago, to create sentiment
government, has been closed, and
that it was a failure. This was one
of the schemes adopted by the rail-
roads to educate the people in re-
gard to the adjustment of freight
rates. A branch bureau was estab-
ished in Topeka, and while a number
of state papers have been printing the
letters furnished, the results have
not been as startling as was expected.
In fact, the people are getting smart
er every day, and tumbled to the
scheme in a hurry, realizing that any
thing the railroads are willing to
spend two million dollars to perpetu-
ate was not a good thing for them
Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

George Harvey. at the dinner that he
gave in New York last month in honor of
NJ. Witte and Baron Rosen, said, apropos
of foresight:
with foresight. with looking keenly
ahead into the future, there often goes a
deal of cynicism. This is not SO much
the fault of the person who looks ahead
as it is the fault of the human nature
that is looked ahead at.
In my native Peacham there once
dwelt a brilliant young lawyer To him
there came one day a lettering grim YER
mont farmer of so years.
" Young man., said the farmer 7 want
to make my viii. I want to leave all I
possess to my wife as long as she re-
mains my wilder, and after that I want
everything to go to the children
lawyer.
:. 'Seventy-four'
g Then. wouldn't it be quite safe the
lawyer asked, to leave out the diseour-
teous phrase about so long as she remains
your widow? Just leave her everything.
Indeed 1 won't said the old man.
But surely said the lawyer, you
don't think the lady, "A now, viii marry
again after your death, do your
The old man looked the other full in the
face as he answered solemnly:
g Wen, sir, there's no telling what
young chaps like you might do for mon
ey.' los Angeles Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

The State Journal Is q member Of the
Associated Press and receives the fun day
telegraph report Of that great news OF
gantzatiOn for exclusive evening p4pt4-
cation Ia Topeka.
The State Journal receives for exclusive
publication the leased wire report 81 tna
publishers Press for the edition Tor sun
day morning.
the news is received in the State jour
nal building over wires for this sole puE-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

A teIegraph operator went with
friend to lunch in one of the uptown
restaurants. After they had been there
few minutes the telegraph operator
called his friends attention to a pretty
young woman seated at a table on the
side of the room, who was toying with
her spoon and occasionally tapping gen.
tly with it on the side of her plate. A
well-dressed man seated at a table some
distance away was going through a
similar performance. The telegraph OPP
orator informed his friends that the
couple were carrying on a Irritation by
the Morse alphabet.
Then he tapped a few times with his
fork The young man and woman turn
ed very red in the face and suddenly de-
parted. This is what the telegraph OPP
orator sfgnalled:
"Oh, quit your spooning and get mar
ried. Baltimore Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

The state will receive about $1,000
positories for the month of October.
other months will range higher, as
there is less money on hand in Oc-
tober than in almost any other
month. State Treasurer Kelly feels
about like a Devlin bank depositor
when he sees this money getting away
from him.--Aiami Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

just to see what would happen prob
ably didn't figure on a life sentence
in the penitentiary as one of the
laughable and exciting ihcidents.-Sa-
lima Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15
They Praoticed what He Preached.

when Ellison Capers, bishop of
South Carolina, was rector of Christ
church, in Greenville, he would often
go to other cities to preach, for his
powerful eloquence made him much
sought after"
The speaker. a resident of Column
bia, smiled and resumed.
Bishop Capers in those days had
an incisive way with him. One Sun
day he preached in parish where he
chose for his subject Economy
g Your sermon on economy, sir,
they said, was very sensible dis
course.
Thanks. said the bishop. Tt
seems to have been appreciated, judg-
ing from the appearance of the collec-
ton plates. Exchange.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

Now it is claimed that the Chic job
holders in washington did not go heme
to vote this year: Hence the landslide.
what a blessed thing it is that Iowa
didn't have an election this year,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15
EDrCATIONAL MoRTALITY.

College hazing seems to be crowding
football pretty hard this autumn for
the educational mortality honors.-
Detroit Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

You will notice that the Republican
leaders of the country are very
cautious about expressing sympathy
for the party organizations in Ohio
and PENNSYLVANIA.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

Congressman Reeder Of Kansas, %
says the washington Post. ''refutes
the charge that he wears eelluloid
cuffs, and clinches the argument by
showing that he does not wear cuffs
of any kind" Now perhaps that will
hold some Of Reeder's Sixth district
enemies for awhile
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

The news that there have been five
fatalities in the first two days Of the
open deer season in Wisconsin leads
TO the conclusion that this is also the
open season for guides.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

Among the interesting scenes when
congress opens will be the one when
Senator Spooner marches his new
colleague, Senator LaFo11ette. up to be
sworn in
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15
"a -cnNNEf,nr0N-

Stuyvesant Fish has accepted a
place on the Mutual Life investigat-
ing committee, but that doesn't neces-
sariIy mean that the tale he will tell
after the inquiry will be fishy.-Ot-
tawa Republic
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

Secretary Shaw is reported to have
sold his Iowa farm for s15G, 600. Trob-
ably getting ready to aoin the ether
bright Iowa fasmars who ara coming
fo Kansas
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15
KANSAS COMAENT
SHOULD 30 CHAsTTsED.

A Kansas minister has gone on rec
ord with the statement that every
man who doesn't vote against graft
should be punished. OF course he
means that every man who votes the
other ticket should be chastised. That
has been the prevalent opinion since
politics broke out Of the she'll
Wichita Beacon.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

Now if Boss Cox had made his an
nouncement about retiring a little
sooner, and had induced the people to
believe it, the result might not have
been quite so bad.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15
The E,rnnire of DoIlars.

Wall street is the capital of the En-
pire of Dollars. Like all other CAPT
tails, it has its intrigues its favorites.
its duels, it's cabals, and its camarillas;
and. like all other capitals, it gives its
color to those who spend their lives
there. 1t has even q sort of patriotism
-'ewolf honor'-which brings its citi-
zens together, at times, in defense OF
the dollar and of property rights.
The Empire of dollars is not alto
gether a noble spectacle. We are not
thrilled at the mere thought of those
Venice bankers who financed the
crusades. We do not like to think Of
those Wall street manipulators who
tried to corner the gold supply during
the Civil war. when the nation needed
gold.-Suecess.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

A New York man claims to have
typewriter 1850 words in thirty min
utes. There are others who could do
the 80 but there would be some doubt
about the 1000.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

why doesn't Russia get its students
to play football with one another?
Then there might not be so much
revoluting over there.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

Walter Wellman IS bound to please.
Thus far he has nominated Secrata y
Taft for the presidency for the Pepub-
Iicans, and he has offered the Democratic
nomination to both The7dore Roosevelt
and Colonel Bryan.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

Funny none of those people Tom
Lawson has been telling things on
never thought of sueing him for libel
before. The guiltiest are usually the
first to start something like that.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

If the Republicans should happen to
renominate Congressman Calderhead
next year-emphasis on the Should
the Democrats are thinking of run
ming Harry Mcmillan of Minneapolis.
Railroad regulation has always been
HrcMiuan's hobby.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

IT develops that the reason why
Burton viii not be indicted again in
case his attorneys succeed in finding a
technicality in this Indictment. is be
cause the statute OF limitations viii
run on his ofense on November Is.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

Why hasn't the Pattison presiden-
tiaI boom for 1908 been launched =?
Aren't the Ohio Democrats a little
Slow
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

What a handy thing the statute of
limitations is to have around oc-
casionalIv
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

Tammany probably threw out lot
Df ballots on the theory that any ballot
that wasn't cast sor Tammany was a
spoiled ballot
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15
HORRIBLE TO CONTEMPLATE.

ING LttL7sItlIL t1VotoL7s u U554sN9 etIlt
lawyers are going on a strike. Now
indeed we know that things are seri-
Gus In Russia. Fancy the DOCTORS
druggists and lawyers going on a
strike in this country. Everybody
might get well and the courts might
have to go out of business.-Portlan
Oregonian.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15
SIRE.


Perhaps the Russian grand dukes
would be willing to advocate reforms
If thew could Be assured that their
salaries for doing nothing would not
be Chicago Record-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

Now that Secretary Taft is back from
Panama perhaps he viii sorrow q few
sorrows over the result Of Ohio-nit.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

Atlanta is trying to get Up a Southern
States Exposition for 1910. That's 81
right, but Atlanta better keep off Of
1911. Kansas has pre-empted that.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

Nothing can keep Governor Folk
out of the White House" says a Mis-
souri, exchange. Sure not. President
Roosevelt would be glad to have him
call
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

The Cleveland letter to Mayor Nc
Clellan bears the stamp of genuine
ness. s'Demagogic manipulation is
Enthusiastically Groverian. - Chicago
Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15
TIE Sullivan WAY.

Probably Russia will keep right on
initiating John L. Sullivan by sitting
around and Dragging about what a
great country It used to be.-Chicago
Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

The Kansas hen is beginning to APP
preeiate her true worth. She is laying
nothing but twenty-five cent eggs now.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15
"a GOOD REASON.

IN MaTYIand reSenImenL against
German the boss was one cause of
hostility to the Poe amendment
New York Evening Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

1t is stated that New York's recent
election cost the city $4,000. 600. Tam
many knows that it cost more than
that
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15
NOT WITH THAT AL
WHERE. Of WHERR2

The HUTCHINSON Independent says that
at a meeting last Sunday in that city
many strong men ''wept bitter tears
from their eyes Where else would
Hutchinson's strong men weep tears
from ?-Salina Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15
6eGORMANIsM. u

Maryland rose nobly to it's oppor-
tunity, defeated the Poe disfranchise-
ment amendment by an overwhelming
majority and gave notice it desires no
more manism.-Pittsburg Dis
patch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

The cry in the Georgia guberna-
torial campaign is to "domesticate the
railroads" Somebody wants to tame
them, it seems. There is nothing like
having a railroad so domesticated
that it will eat out of your hand.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

Still, what does Mr.. Cleveland care
whether he is rich or not SO long as
the fish bite well ?-Atlanta Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

What. by the way. win the Russia
press censor do for a. living in the fu-
ture2
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

It begins to look as though the fair
land of Poland were going to get back
on the map. Baltimore American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

1t develops that Prince Louis of Bat
tenburg once learned the printing trade.
Probably distributed some itaIic uuads
for some typo.-Leavenwort Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15
why the Check Did Not Come Forth.

Why the Check Did Not Come Forth.
Richard LIE Caffeine, one Of the best
known of writers, went to publication
Office to get check which was due
him for an article.
IT am sorry said the cashier. "but
I shall have to disappoint you. today.
The checks are made out, but they are
without the signature Of our manager.
He is i'll with the govt
Extend him my sympathies," muir
INJURED Mr.. LIE Gallienne 1T must be
very trying for him to be SO disabled.
infer that he signs his checks with h1R
feet. Success Magazine.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15
ER0M OTHER PENS


Finland is of the opinion that it has
the latest and neatest thing in the way
of constitutions that there is going
Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15
THE REAL HELPMATF

The new Russian minister to Japan
has an American wife. His diplomatic
success is assured.-Atlanta Constitu-
ton.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15
GOOD RIDDANCE.

The cossack will be out of a job I'M
der the Russian Constituencies
Vile Banner.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15
NORTHUMBERLAND.

Let old Kentucky raise its corn,
And Boston pork and beans!
We're satisfied just now down here
With raising guarantees!
New Orleans Times Democrat.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

''Geel But that woman In the top fiat
has heavy voice!'' said the grocer's boy.
"So?" said the first floor cook.
well. I Should sayi She threw It down
the dumb waiter at me the other day and
it nearly broke me up in business DE
troit Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15
sUsPICIOus.

A Peoria, Ill, merchant headed an
advertisement, watch our smoke"
That night his store burned down, and
the insurance company contested the
payment of the poliey.-Jewel1 Re
publican.
NOT WITH THAT ALTERNATIVE
New York must not stick her nose
in the air when she meets Kansas
hereafter. Even Kansas would have
turned down Hearst by a big majority.
-Salina Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

'.Poddleton has bought an absolutely
noiseless auto
Yes. And he's got the noisiest horn in
town attached to it."-Cleveland PlstFs
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

Magistrate-Well young man, what ez-
cuse have you for taking the picture
when you were forbidden to do It?
Young Man-Judge, I didn't know my
camera was loaded.-Chicago Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

Undertaker-But have you had any
experience in emba1mingz
Butcher tout of 5ob)-Have II Well,
I guess sol I worked eight years for ths
Beef Trust-Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

How did FIenpeeked happen to join
that expedition to the north polef Is he
so interested in science?"
Science nothingi 1t was the only ex-
cuse he could think of to get away from
home. Detroit Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

seThat will do" said Mrs. Hiram Onss,
sternly, you will leave on Saturday AID
you needn't bother me about recon-
mendationi'
''Faix.' replied Bridget. "oi how no n.
tintion O. givin' We a Accommodation OfI
tell the truth about We to livery girl thet
axes me. ,,-Ph iladelphia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

What did Harry say when he pro-
posed?''
lie didn't really say anything at first,
but when mamma came In and put her
back against the door and nodded her
head at him in her persuasive way he
seemed to suddenly recover the use Of
his voice and then I said yes real
quick. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

Before we were married. said Mrs.
Peck, you declared your Willingness TO
die for my sake"
We'll rejoined> Peck, IF this isn't q
living death I don't know what is
Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

"Oh, my brethren, the Lord is calling
your cried the preacher with dramatic
fervor.
Il haven't got anything-only little
pair murmured Deacon Swift, waking
up with a start.-Philade1phia Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

s'WolI. guess old slyman is beginning
to make his pile"
why do you think soT'
Hes going around blowing about how
much happier man is when he's poor
Philadelphia Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

Constitution.
Wasn't it scandalous the way Hr-s
ner?'' --7 VII
she do2a eA~
.'FIirted desperately with her husband
an the, evening, supposing he was some
body she had met somewhere IN F5l1rerss .
--Chien5o Record Herald
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15
" hen you get blue, don't SWIVEL
And berate Fate-instead,
just get some bright vermillion
And go and paint things red.
Buffalo Evening News

lar plenty er wise men in de Wort
ous icy SO pusy admifln ,deyse'f you
81 80. ,4 attaes cey Observation-Disclosures
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

Patience-They said If he married her
she'd make an angel of him.
Patrice-VvelI. she accomplished part OF
the contract. She's made him fly about
a good dea1.-Post-Dispatch
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

Mrs. Buggins-You used to tell me I
was an angel
Mr.. Buggins-I know, but that was be-
fore I had to help you into your dresses
that button up the back.-Phiiadelphi
Record
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

One of the rural schools in Kansas has
a pretty girl as its teacher. but she was
much troubled at first because
ing At last she made the announcements
that she would kiss the first pupil to ar
rive at the school house the next morn
ing. At sunrise the three largest bows Of
her class were sitting on the doorstep OF
the school house. and by o'clock every
boy IN the school, and four of the diree-
tors were waiting for her to arrivs.-New
York Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

to bed.
Ma Twadd1es-Whats the matter7
Pa Twaddles-Oh, he's Fostering the are
out of me to find out what relation &
cousin German is to Dutch uncle -
Cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-15

john said the indignant mother mis-
teacher has sent our William home from
school. Now I want you, before you 20
to the office tomorrow, to write her ana
tell her she must give William back his
place"
And the next day the trucuIent william.
presented the astonished teacher with tho
absent-4ninded parents note, which read :
please reseat this Bill proraRtIy, ''-Rzl-
timOre American.