The midland journal., 1905-11-17
TALES AND ENDS.
BY ALLEN PAYNE.

Which is the better of the two, the man waiting
for an opportunity or the fellow that goes after III
Trouble proceeds from the mouth. Then pity
the poor Siamese twins.
The poor arn't satisfied. Neither are the rich.
Isn't that satisfaction to Us poor mortals?
Those who ridicule the old will some day be
too old to ridicule.
A keg is of great assistance in getting man
barreled.
Wouldn't this be different world if there was
as mach interest taken in the Bible as there is in
a sporting page.
After all, few people think swell' of the hole
they dig for some one else to fall into.
It's always the push that brings the pull.
Success can never be met by standing on the
street corners.
Cupid is only midget, but he can do things
that it often takes giants to undo.
You can hear all over the country the cry Of
Reform, Reform. Why not start it going in your
own home first.
Folks who dabble in stocks should always try to
do more than their share, else the shares may do
them.
Never promise much in this world. When you
do perform II, try and do more.
There is only one right way to do anything.
There are enough wrong ways to fill the largest
book in the world.
An exchange says, sAn absolutely honest re-
former never makes good politician" How
about Bryan?
Why is it the absent one always gets the blame?
1t is better for a man to break off drinking be-
fore he goes broke.
The more hog grunts the fatter he gets. The
more the trusts grunt the leaner the public gets.
The small-headed man has head like this, "o''.
But he imagines it is like this, 60"
Sentences of love don't always look well on
paper.
sons mug.
Because the ocean is so tide-y is good reason
why the beach gets washed.
What is sauce for the goose is always sauce for
the slanderer.
What woman sews that shall she also keep.
AS the crop is always large, clean up your own
patch first and then assist your neighbor. You
will find out perhaps that his crop does not
amount to as much as your own.
Many a one does things half because they don't
half to.
Many women never put checks to their pur.
chases. They leave that for their husbands.
Bought experience can never be paid with a
bogus check.
Some broken hearts even get beyond repair.
The man who has more than one wife is Ger.
tainiy pigamist.
Men who die with a cord around their necks
were seldom tied to their mothers apron strings.
The height of imprudence will often lower a
man in the estimation of others.
Marrow mindedness can be found the wide
world over.
The man who stoops so low as to do trifling,
mean things is bent on doing nothing else.
An exchange says, "some men get so low you
can get nothing out of them" There is nothing
in them to get out.
sauting those who are the backbone of society
is mighty hard on the spinal column.
| Ignorance may not come amss. It's not always
jolly to be wise.
Some men are dismal failures. There are plenty
who will make light it.
Some folks can tell ~" as soon as they lay
their rs on them.
Women with neat ankles haven't brains enough
to stay indoors when it rains.
Saying nothing and saving wood is all right
but it don't apply to block heads.
1t is now claimed that the use Of nutmegs in
duces nervousness. We presume it CRATES on
ones nerves.
cabbage head can often be beet at his own
game.
Never was there woman so ugly but that there
was at least one man who thought her handsome.