Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1905-06-09

talking with them, but you go to their
countries and the natives don't know
that there is such a language as the
United States language, and they laugh
at you when you ask questions | am
sick of the whole business, and would
give all ever expect to be worth, to
be home right now, with my skates
sharp.
would like to open the door of your
old grocery, and take one long breath,
and die right there on the doorstep,
rather than to live in luxury in any for
eign country. Do you know, l sometimes
go into grocery store abroad, and
smell around, in order to get my
thoughts on dear old America, but
nothing abroad smells as the same
thing does in our country. If l could
get one more smell of that key of
sauerkraut back of your counter, when
it is ripe enough to pick l think
would break right down and cry for
JOY. Of course l have smelled sauer-
kraut over here, but it all seems new
and tame compared to yours. 1t may
be the kraut here is not aged enough
to be good, but yours is aged enough
to vote and sticks to your clothes.
Gee, but just ache to get into your
grocery and eat things, and smell
smells, and then lay down on the
counter with the cat with my head on
pile of wrapping paper and go to
sleep and waite up in America, an
American citizen, that no king or
queen Car tell 10 "hnsh up" and take
off my hat when want my hat on.
You may wonder how we got out OF
Monte Carlo, when we had lost
every cent we had gambling. Well
we wondered about it all night, and
had our breakfast sent up to our room
and had it charged, expecting that
when the bill came in we would have
to jump into the ocean, as we had nc
gun to kill ourselves with. Just after
breakfast duke, or something, came
to our room, and dad said it was all
off, and he called upon the Dakota
man to make speech on politics
while dad and l skipped out. We
thought the duke, who was the mana
ger Of the hotel, would not under.
stand the speech, and would think We
were great people, who had go
stranded.
The Dakota man started in on
democratic speech that he used to de
liver in the campaign of '96, and il
half an hour the duke held up hi
hands, and the Dakota man let up OF
the speech, Then the duke took on
a roll of bills and said: "Ze shentle
men is what you call bust. Is it no
so?" Daid said he could bet his lif
it was So Then the duke handle,
the roll of bills to dad, and said /
was a tribute from the prince O
Monaco, and that we were his guests
and when our stay was at an end, auto
mobiles would be furnished for us t
go to Nice, where we could cable HON
for funds, and be happy.
WELL when the duke left us, da
said: Wouldn't that skin your an
he gave the Dakota man one of tn
bills to try on the bartender, an
when lie found the money was goo
we ordered an automobile and skippe
out for Nice. The chauffeur could nc
understand English, so we talked owe
the situation and decided that the onl
way to be looked upon as genuine al
tomobilists would be to wear google
and look prosperous and mad 6
everybody. We took turns lookin
mad at everybody we passed on tn
road, and got it down so fine that pei
pie picked up rocks after we ha
passed, and threw them at us, and the
we knew that we were succeeding |
2, being considered genuine, rich auto
y mobile tourists,
After we had succeeded for an tor