Omaha daily bee., 1905-04-23
MIND, MORALS OR MONEY
Which is Most Desirable Attribute for a
Prospective sOn-in- -Law7
OMAHA MOTHERS DIFFER ON CHOICE
Some Hold OId-Fashioned Ideas, but
All Agree that Money IL Not at
All Inconvenient for n
BRIDEGROOM.

brluegrOOms
What il preferable in a son-in-aw-mind,
morals or money?
This question was put to a number Of
omahas leading society women during the
week, the query growing out of the pub
lished statement that Andrew Carnegie pre-
ferred mind and morals to money in a hus-
band for his niece. The Omaha women
all expressed decided opinions, but did not
all wish to see their names in print, and
for this reason the names of those who
were willing to mother their remarks are
also omitted. The language attributed to
Mr.. Carnegie and on which the discussion
is based, occurred in a telegram from New
York and reads as follows:
The family has no objection to the match.
Mr.. Hever is an honest. upright young
man. l would rather Nancy had married
poor, honest man than a worthless duke.
We want no rich men in the family
One Of the most prominent society women
In the city, who requested that her name
be not used because at isn't popular to
be frank, particularly where men, and espe-
cially prospective sons-in-law are con-
cerned, had this to say:
II certainly consider that money is about
the most desirable thing that young man
could have, If he were limited to but one
Of the three supposedly prime essentials,
brains, money and morals. Furthermore,
believe that If half the women in society
would be honest they would agree with me.
A good moral character is a fine thing, of
course, but it's little enough we women
know about men, anyway, and ! believe
that the majority of our successful bust
ness men are scarcely what our ministers
oh apta
would prefer a man with money and some
bad habits to one whose scruples keep
him forever on the lower rounds of the
ladder. I would rather my daughter would
marry reasonably smart man with means
than poor man. no matter how promising
or brilliant he might belt is safer"
Carnegie Can Afford 1t.
Another mother who has for several
years been a prominent educator of the
city said: 1T is we'll enough for Mr..
Carnegie to accept an eX-coachman on
his mental and moral merits alone; the
| Carnegie family scarcely stands in need
of money but 1 doubt whether he would
have been so we'll satisfied if, as is so often
the case, Mis- niece had had neither the
| money nor the family position to fall back
| upon in case the marriage did not turn out
well after all. l certainly think that
marriage between two persons of such
| widely different station and environment
| is dangerous as well as foolish business
While intelligence or "a business head II
| you will with uprightness of character is
infinitely preferable to money at the
| same time a young woman who has always
lived in luxury runs great risk in marry.
| ing man who has to work up
| Still another mother whose only daugh.
| ter promises to h, Id a high place in so.
| ciety when she has finished college in q
| couple Of years, said: II would not ex.
| press my opinion on that subject for any.
thing in the world. and IT is not that
| have no opinion, either. Choosing a hus
band for a daughter or rather. approvins
one, is like anything else pertaining to
| young woman's welfare; it. depends upor
the girl and it depends upon the man, too
Money is highly desirable thing to have
but 1t has been the ruinaion of many
young man and his bride And again, {
| frivolous bride has been the ruination O
many a promising young business man
while many a college girls life has beer
wrecked by young men who have attained
wealth and position while lacking thos
finer things that are essentials to man,
women. l am glad Mr. Carnegie is S,
pleased with his new knsman, but l thinl
1t depends upon the girl"
Depends Upon the Girl.
A woman whose name carries weight II
club as we'll as social circles sayss 1T de
pends largely upon the girl. OF course
money is very desirable and convenien
thing to have, but if a young man cal
not have both 1 should prefer brains.
consider that a man should have some
thing. He owes 1t to a woman he woult
make his wife to have at least a start"
Another of the leading society mothers
whose husband worked his way from OBJ
scurity to the head of his profession, says
Money is not the first thing to be takel
into account by any means when consid
erng a mans eligibility l place a cleal
moral character, ambition and bushes
ability above wealth. l married a poo
man myself and know that money is no
essential to happiness-and isn't happines
the thing we would ask first for our daugh
ters?"
Here is what one of the foremost of tn
club women of the Young Women
Christian association workers says: g
agree with Mr.. Carnegie that honesty
uprightness of character and intelligenc
should be placed before everything els
in young man. Money is a secondar
consideration, although it is a desirab bl
thing to have. AS for foreign noblemer
we Americans have been rather unfort
unate in our experience with them, but
is scarcely fair to condemn the entir
class because Of the samples that we hav
had. A title does not necessarily pre-
clude brains and because a man is ric
7 he is not necessarily undesirable
The mother of one of next seasons do
butantes says; ANY girl is foolish I
marry man who has nothing. OF cours,
, | would count a good business head tn
most desirable asset a man can possess
, but l would not want my daughter
marry even the most promising kind c
young business man unless he had som
kind Of a start financially"
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