davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
Claims Slice of Fair Estate

TOPEKA, Kan, April 81. = Another
claimant for the Charles Fair estate
appeared here today in the presence
of Frank Smith, chief at the Santa Fe
railway hospital. Smith says he is a
brother to Mrs. Charles Fair. who with
her husband was killed on Aug. IA.
1902, in an automobile accident at
Everaux, France. Smiths knowledge
of the relationship came through read
ing a dispatch in a newspaper day or
two ago of the death last Sunday in
Newmarket, n. j.. of Mrs. Hannah
Nelson. mother of Mrs. Fair. Smith
at once recognized the name as that
of his mother. Smith left New Jersey
in 1877 and has been in Kansas since
then. He has not corresponded with
his family for years and had lost all
track of them. He has retained at
torneys who will look after his interest
in connection with the Fair fortune.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
Contemporary Comment
Officers to Blame

There is great tempest in a certain
life Insurance company in New York
because the president thereof threatens
to expose" the vice president for hav-
ing used the company's money to pay
for eptertaiping the guests of the vice
president. But how is il that he was
permitted To charge such expenses to
the company? Why is it necessary to
makes "a great scandal now over
bakers. dozen of dinners when the re-
sponsfble officers of the company might
have ppt a stop to such use of the
policy holders money when the first
bill Was yaudited?-Chicago Post.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
eontfna Contest WIN Japan

Those Mhp fancy that it is arms in
which we and the rest must prepare to
meet the'LaPanese are wanting in both
the gift of prophecy and the gift of
common sense. 1t is going to be in the
peaceful pursuits. in industry, in COM
merce. In education, in the arts and
sciences, that We and others. are going
TO be summoned TO compete and contest
with the Japanese Daily
News
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
Glad 10 Saw Goodhu

The scandals in which certain mem
bers of the senate have become invoiv-
ed are cause of shame to the people
of the whole country, who win BE glad
when the roll of that branch of the
national legislature is purged of their
DameS.-Boston Herald
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
At St. Paul Theaters

If 1t be the purpose of the play to
entertain, then Tess of the D'Urber-
yilles, produced at the Metropolitan
last night, lands wide of the mark
Truth TO tell, it is lugubrious. dis
tresSing affair, without the suspicion of
the silver lining that goes with the
proverbial cloud.
Hardy's story. dranatized by Lori
mer Stoddard, is slow. mournful af-
fair, destitute of comedy and lacking in
continuity. In other words, it drags.
Miss Florence Roberts histrionic
ability is wasted in this play, which
tediously detains you for three hours
Melbourne MacDowelI contributed a
convincing characterization of Alec
D'Urberville, and Lucius Henderson in
the role of the husband, Angel Clare,
was entirely satisfactory.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
Watch Albany

From now until the, close of the ses-
sion the legislature will bear close
watching. Every year in the past de-
cade the chief mischief has been done
In the last weeks. when the calendars
are crowded and the vigilance relaxed.
Buffalo Courier
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
The Man Who Always Gets Il

The crank who wanted to kill Gov.
Hoch of Kansas must have been a rank
amateur, as he didn't even succeed in
getting an innocent bystander.-Den-
Yer Republican
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
Among the Merrymakers
pIsarmlnn susniclon-

'Hq2s this?" said Cumso to Cawker
as they sat down to the annual banquet
Of the Allied Sons of Liberty. There's
no wine on the menu but half a dozen
glasses are at each plate?'
The menu is to take home to our
wives, was the satisfactory explanation
Smart Set,
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
Comino Issue

1t is evident that the question OF
municipal control of public utilities is
about to be forced upon the attention
OF New York in a practical way. What
II Will amount to remains to be seem
Philadelphia Inquirer.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
Ante Up to That. Mr.. piaz

President Diaz of Mexico handled the
nose at fire in a livery stable ad-
joining the department of the Interior
That's nothing; President Roosevelt
handles lasso, big stick, a rifle and
apen.-Birmingham Age Herald.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
That's Where They Wear Them

Ii John Hay happens to strike a
Turkish harem while cruising about in
the Mediterranean we viii doubtless
get some more Little Breeches" po-
etry.-Atlanta Journal
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22

If it is true that President Roosevelt
chased all the wolves out of Oklahoma
Chicago ought to induce the president
to linger while on his way east and
indulge in hunt about the city hall.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22

Evidently the vice president of the
Equitable is not inclined to sit quiet
with the understanding that the vice
presidency is blank.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
Selecting His Part

''Cy Lyle have writ tank play called
a Christmas Eve Jag and we are asst
to take part in it If Cy will let Hs take
the roll of the tank, and will give bond
to Keep us damp all the time. We'll sign
with him for the season.-Hardeman Free
Press.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
Not Different From the Rest OF Us

Both Mr.. Stokes and Miss Pastor are
certain that they are more desperately
In love than anybody ever was before.
which shows that they are just ordi-
nary. everyday human beings, after
all.-Kansas City Star.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
Ihe Reason

The Visitor-Fm surprised to- hear you
complain that the prison fare is too good.
The COnvict-Its dis way, boss. De
grub has made me so blame fat i can't
get through dat winder. even tho I've got
dis steel saw.-Boston Traveller.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
Pity They Can't All Vote

If the national Democracy wants a
candidate in 1908 who will steal all the
roosevelt anti-race suicide thunder,
there is Mayor Dunno of Chicago, the
proud father of ten living children.
ranging III age from II to an infant in
arms.-Atlanta Constitution
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
Feared the Worst

Irma-Poor Wallet When 1 refused
him he said he would jump into the lake.
Ida-Well did he?
Irma-I don't know. Still. it seems to
me there's flavor of Turkish cigarettes
in the water.-BOston Post
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
An Evidenoe Of Good E.ith

Mr.. Roosevelt seems to have an idea
that besides drawing its salary the
canal commission should put in an oc-
easlonal lick at digging the canal
Milwaukee News.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
For the w. C. I. u

The attention of the Woman's Chris
tian Temperance. union is respectfully
called to the orgies at Fort Ethan AL
len. Somebody must have slipped a
canteen in there.-PhiIadelphia In
Quirer
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
Can't Miss the Bio Show

On receiving news that an Amer
lean circus has started for Europe the
kaiser suddenly withdraws from his re-
cent petition.-BrookIyn Union.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
Proud Of Her Conquest

He (ardently)-How sweet of you to let
me kneel and kiss your hand.
Il wouldn't if those horrid joyce girls
weren't gazing in here through an opera
glass. Town and Country.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
Unresponsive

so you prefer a horse to an automo-
bile?''
Yes answered the iracible man. "a
horse doesn't treat threats and blows with
the silent contempt that an automobile
displays. s."-WashingtO Star.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
No Fun in IL at All

King Edward is declared to be the
safest ruler on earth. But why should
anybody wish to kill as gentlemanly
and harmless monarch as he, any
way?-Chicago Tribune.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
A STRONGER Spirit

Did you notice the antics OF the me-
dunn who claimed he was controlled by
the spirit of Laughing Water?'
Yes. And I'll bet it was firewater in
stead Plain Dealer.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
His Record

Nose Jackson-Dis nag has record OBJ
2:I2i
Pete Persimmons- trotting or
running?
Nose MISUNDERSTANDING still an eat
ing a peck OBJ oats.-Puck
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
The Poor Should Be Protected

Those gifts of 100000 are becoming
so common that it's really dangerous
to give your home address to a wealthy
man.-New York Herald
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22

If radium is really good for what ails
DR.. Harper he had better jar John d.
Rockefeller loose from about half his
wad and buy an ounce of it.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
VOTING ON CHARTER AMEND.
MENTS

The Glob is of the opinion that
it would be most improper in principle
and most unfortunate in practice
to permit the adoption of proposed
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
Marine AnricnItnre

In the teeth OF the stiff nor'easter
The good ship plowed the sea
But narrowed the passengers in'ards,
o, most infernalee,
Chicago Tribune.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
somethina Miaht Be Done

If they want the ditch across Pana-
ma dug quickly. the canal commission
might take down the whole tribe of
Digger Indians.-Baltimore Sun.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22

N.Y. exclaimed the rabbit, you're
running faster than / ever saw you go
before
Yes gasped the hard-pressed stag.
I'm running for deer life e-''-Philadelphia
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
Venezuela

The courts of Venezuela do not seem
to please those who are inclined to
strain the Monroe doctrine.-Memphis
Commercial Appeal.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
Still in the Future

Miss Ann Teek-Really. you know.
first love.
Miss Snappe-Oh. don't be discouraged.
Your first love viii come along some day
Philadelphia Ledger.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22

1t. may be that Col. Terence Mccoy
ern left the stage and went to san
itarium in the interest of art.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22

1t is apparent that Mr.. Pulitzer Is
now going to name his school of jour-
nalism for w. j. Bryan.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22

Florence Roberts engagement at the
metropolitan opera house will close
with matinee this afternoon at 2:30
and last performance tonight.
''Zaza,' David Belasco'S comedy drama
adapted from the French will be the
bill for the matinee and Marta of the
Lowlands, romantic play adapted
from the Spanish of Angel Guimera
tonight
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22

The first part of next week at the
Metropolitan opera house will be de-
voted to Nat c. Goodwln's presenta-
tons The Usurper," An American
Citizen" and a Gilded Fool" the for
mer being performed Monday night
and the latter Wednesday night.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22

-tS1t-t 2fR
River Foreeast-The Mississippi river
at St Paul wiz remain nearly stationary.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22

Canea. Crete-Anthony ]. Drexers
steam yacht Margarita fNew York Yacht
club has arrived here with Prince Fran
els of Teck and Count Mensdorr on
board.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22

Cairo. Egypt-Bedouin marauders at
tackled a convoy escorting the holy carpet
from Yambo to Medina. A fight ensued
in which several of the Bedouins were
killed.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22
other points:
sSpnnHigh
Rixer RuIIetln-s a. m.

washington time q p. m. St. PauD.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22

''The Earlsof Rawtucl1et" will be the
attraction at the Metropolitan opera
house the latter part of next week be-
ginning Thursday night for four
nights and Saturday matinee, with
Lawrance D'Orsay and the same cast
that appeared with him in New York.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22

The legislature passed the rattle
snake bill and killed the anti-ciga-
rette bill. God made the rattIer and
any Kid can make a cigarette Great
manship.-Ortonville Herald
Star
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22

All this discussion about possible
Republican candidates for governor
TWO years hence is premature We
are all too mad to be fair or decent
about it now.-Ortonville Herald Star.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22

The "BOwery Burlesquers'' played
two performances yesterday to au-
diences consisting very largely of
women. Handsome souvenirs were
presented to each lady in the audi
ences. The Bowery company will
close its engagement today.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22

Genoa for Badnausheim by way of Milan.
He is in the best of spirits. declaring that
the air of Italy has been most efficacious
and that he has quite recovered his
health.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22

Beginning tomorrow afternoon and
continuing throughout the week with
the usual Wednesday and Saturday
matinees, the attraction at the Grand
will be the new sensational melo-
drama ''The Way of the Transgres-
sor." This viii be the first appearance
here of this play.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22

The primary election laws will prob
ably not be amended SO as to avoid
the contested delegation scheme which
resulted in a Democratic governor for
Minnesota.-Buffalo Journal.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22

Boston-The house has passed a bill
aimed at bucket shops. 1t provides that
any persons or corporations who contract
trades in stocks or bonds with bet or
wager depending on the outcome shall
be punished by a fine of not more than
$1,000 or Imprisonment of not more than
year.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22

Emperor William of GERMANY is
credited with an ambition to have the
German empire swallow up the Meth
erlands while the eyes of Europe are
upon Morocco. Universal greed and
Jealousy IS all that saves several little
nations from such fate.-Appleton
Tribune
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-04-22

Two performances today. one at
2:S0 and one at S:15, will conclude a
successful weeks engagement of the
jolly musical comedy Me Him & T.
at the Grand. The comedians, Bickel,
Watson and Wrothe have made a IA
vorable impression on the patrons of
the Grand, and their work has been
rewarded by continuous laughter and
applause all week The piece is well
cestumed and the scenic equipment
magnificent.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-12-31
SONG OF THE YEAR
By Clinton Scotland

The Yearl How we hailed him with
plaudits
A brief vanished twe1vemonth agol
But swiftly the hand of Time audits
Accounts to our sorrow, we know.
He brewed us some taste-tickling nectar;
He spilled us some excellent ink;
And now, though he's naught but aspecter,
A wrath peering back DER the brink,
Let's raise him rouse that is mellow,
Though no more alert and alive;
For he was jolly fine fellow,
Was old Ioo5l
He showed us some sights to astound us;
He read us some lessons-beware!
Not least of the things to confound us
Was a Dwarf making game of Bear.
Very much in the former-time fashion
He livened Society's whirl
With scandals of purse and of passion
And prattlings of prince and of earl.
He told us that brains do not below
A truth that's still likely to thrive.
Yes he was mighty fine fellow,
Was old 1905!
He's gonei Here's greeting flung after.
He'll rest, and in pace, we trust.
He portioned out grieving and laughter
To us who are children of DUST
And now, while we dip deep surmise in,
Above LIES horizon leaps one
Whose sparkling inspiriting eyes in
Cleans Youths immemorial sun.
His, too, be a rouse that is mellowl
A bright-brimming beaker We'll mix,
And toast him, royal fine fellow,
Fair young 1906!
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-12-31
ID z F I n I T 10 n s
By ]. Macdonald Oxley

A MONG the banes of Our school-days
"A was the demand for definitions
made upon us by the teacher; because to
with exactness of course was not easy
and we all disliked hard work.
Nor can we boast that this mental
exercise became any easier for us with
the advance of years. 1t is still bother
to be definite. We much prefer being
more or less vague, and so the love for
definitions shows no sign of waxing
warmer, except maybe among the scien-
lists, with whom they often constitute
the very bones of contention.
We have no concern with scientific
definitions at present, however, but
rather with their opposites, to wit, those
which by their pith or humor rather than
by their precision make their appeal to
our intelligence. Thus to begin, as
seems most logical with babies" they
have been defined as Authors copy"
A little fretwork," Last come, first
served, Homemade pickle" and The
master of the household troops"
Against these place the definitions of
a bachelor" viz: A singular being"
and A target for miss, and we have
no doubt as to which has the best of it.
Lord John Russell definition of prov
erb as "One mans wit, and all mems
wisdom" could hardly be improved, and
wit itself has been aptly called "A pleas
ant surprise over TRUTH while wisdom
has been more cynically characterized
as Nothing more than educated cum
ming" By the same caustic writer are
we told that "Silence is a safe place to
hide in" and that "A lie is the highest
compliment that can be paid to truth,
Being called upon for definition of a
sanguine person, clever humorist
responded: Show him an egg, and
instantly the air is full of feathers"
while another characterized a notorious
humbug as "A moral chameleon"
Wise old DR.. Johnsonwas evidently more
anxious to express his own feeling than
to be technically correct, when he defined
a pension to be AN allowance made to
anyone without an equivalent" That
even he was not infallible, came out when
he defined "postern" as the knee of a
horse" and on being taken to task for
his error by a woman, he never appeared
to better advantage than when he man.
fully responded: Ignorance, madam,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-12-31

it in the next edition. 1t was not in his
dictionary, but in the course of a con-
versation, faithfully reported by the
vigilant Boswell, that he characterized
patriotism as The last refuge of
scoundrel," the biting words no doubt
rejecting his mood at the moment rather
than his real opinion.
Over against this we may place an
others definition of a patriot as "One
who lives for the promotion of his
countrys union, and dies in it." while
the explanation of a hero, He who after
warming his enemies is toasted by his
friends" shows a genial spirit that COM
mends it to our favor.
The children have always had their
own way of describing things, and as a
rule they hit it off pretty well. Thus
the definition of dust as Mud with the
juice squeezed out, of a fan as A thing
to brush warmth off, of a monkey as
" A small boy with a TAIL" of salt as
That which makes your potatoes taste
bad when you don't put any on" of
wakefu1ness as Your eyes all the time
coming unbuttoned," and of ice as
Water that stayed out too late in the
cold and went to Sleep" could hardly be
improved upon for their graphic power.
So it was a school-boy who, on being
required to define a sob after much
hesitancy blurted out: 1T means when
Teller don't mean to cry, and it bursts
out itself" Another cleverly defined a
comma as "a period with long tall
and third did still better in response
to the request for definition of the big
word responsibility well now, sup
posing l had only two buttons on my
trousers, and one came off, all the respon-
sibilty would be on the other button"
A teacher having asked of her class the
meaning of the word "admittance, the
question went unanswered from the head
almost down to the foot, ere small boy
held up his hand as signal that he was
ready with reply. 1T MEANS" said
he, twenty-five cents, and children
two for quarter"
Returning again to the grown-ups, we
have the aunty who while travelling with
her little niece, and by her called upon to
explain what junction meant, compla-
Gently responded: why, a junction is
place where two railroads separate
There is of course spice of malice in
the definition of jury as "a body of
men organized to find out which side has
the cleverest lawyer on the other hand
one discerns touch of pathos in the
definition of suspicion by a jealous
husband as q" A feeling that compels YOU
to try and find out something which YOU
don't want to know; and there is a
CLEAN of hunor in the fair Americans
description of ballet-girl as IAN open
muslin umbrella with two pink handles"
which shows still more strongly in the
Irish mendicant's account of charity
soup, to wit: "A quart of water boiled
down to pint to make it strong"
That is happy definition of walking
stick: THE old mans strength, and the
young mans weakness" for which a
worthy companion is of the umbrella:
A fair and foul-weather friend who has
many ups and downs in the world
To call watch secondhand affair."
may at first strike one as undeserved, but
on further consideration its appro-
priateness must be admitted, while for a
wig the terms Top of the pole, " g Picked
The Grenada sentinel. [volume] (Grenada, Miss.) 1868-1955, 1905-10-28

Preferred Her Weekly Salary.
He-Will you marry me?
She-No; but l will be o typewriter to
yeu.-Town Topics.
The Grenada sentinel. [volume] (Grenada, Miss.) 1868-1955, 1905-10-28

rather proud of it at that, was mar.
ried through a schatchen. So, also.
was that pathetic-looking woman over
there, who was recently deserted by
her husband, and is nov begging pen
MES on the sidewalk.
Her case brings US to the other
class Of charlottesville men whose
p~raitice of their trade makes them a
menace to the community, and whose
ill-gotten gains come to about quad
ripple what the honest schatchen makes
by his legitimate business.
The Crooked Schatchens.
These crooked schatchens have been
little talked about until lately. Their
trade has been SO secret, their pre-
cautions sc complete, and their team
work" so remarkable that they have
operated almost entirely unobseryed.
Now and then the complaint Of some
deserted wife has started the police
upon a scent which seemed bound to
lead to new and important discoveries.
but it was usually found to lend in
squirrel tracks or run up a tree"
Even now it is next to impossible
to arrest or convict a "swindling
schatchen," as the police call them.
The police have been at work on the
overthrow of several for years, but the
game is a long and arduous one, and,
as one young detective declared, lit
would take the entire time of the force
to the exclusion of every other case
The Grenada sentinel. [volume] (Grenada, Miss.) 1868-1955, 1905-10-28

tatined from the newest wife, but this
does not help the police. No COM
plant will be made. Of course, for, as
may be readily be imagined, in no
walk of life is the glass-house les
son more forcibly tilt strated.
The men who belong to the bands
and lend themselves to the vile
schemes for %betraying and robbing
young girls are all of a peculiar type.
Shifty eyes, weak chins, evil mouths
they look and are ready for any job
that may offer itself-the lower the
better.
Escape Comparatively Easy.
But no crook has ever been so care
less as to prepare a job without first
arranging to get away" Many OF
the employment agents" have maps Of
the city with the get aways'' all duly
marked. The city is so large, and the
districts are so distinct and separate,
that whenever he finds it too warm
in one locality, he simply moves on
to another, and all traces of him is
lost. The aforementioned map has
estimates of population in various dis
t%ricts, and all sorts of valuable in
formation. It's usefulness in an en-
ployment agency seemed rather OBJ
scure, but perhaps the agents are per-
sons who like to be well informed on
all subjects.
One Happy Marriage.
But all weddings brought about by