The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-05-13

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Doctor, isn't there anything I can
10 Tor this seasicknessY' why. yes.
Try farming. Life.
Iohnny-Paw, what's the rest Of
mat quotation beginning Truth is
mighty" Scarce" I reckon
-Pittsburg Post.
He-I go to bed at night with
gloves on to keep my hands soft. She
And do you wear your hat, tool
Hartford Courant.
Medium-Do you wish to see your
departed husbands spiritG Mrs. Whit
hetree-No; want to see his ghostl
Josh never had no splrit.-Puck.
so the specialist said you'd have to
give up smoking for a while, ehT
Yes, and he also said I'd have to give
up SIS for good."'-Collier's Weekly.
Suitor-I'm poor but honest, sir. Old
Rocksy-I don't doubt II at all. my
boy; and unless you change your prin-
ciples you'll never get rich.-Town
Topics.
Nell-How In the world did you dis
cover her age? Belle-I asked her at
what age she thought a girl should
marry, and she promptly said a.
Philadelphia Ledger.
What is the chief product Of the
United StatesY asked the teacher in
European school. And without hesl-
tation the bright pupil replied, Mon
ey."-Washington Star.
"A New York man advocates the
drowning Of all idiots" why, the
cruel brutel | shall raise my voice in
protest. Ter oh, well, it doesn't
matter to me."-Houston Post.
What is the secret Of your sue
cessT asked the very young man. "In
Ouying," said the old horse dealer. II
.Ook sharp. and in selling look just
as ignorant as l can."-Chicago Daily
News.
Its Z o'clock, Fritz! We must run
lone" mo, if go home now l shall
Je whipped for being 80 late. I'm go
.ng to stay till 9 and then III get bon.
ions and kisses because I'm moi
crowned. "-Lustige Blaetter.
Did you spend money to get into
public officer" NO." answered Sena
.or Sorghum; II didn't spend it.
gave it away, and then depended on
decent sense of gratitude in the ben
ehciaries. w ashington Star.
Fair Devotee-I don't see any way
to raise our church debt, except t
have a lottery. Minister (shocked)-
That will never have my sanction
madam, never, unless you call 1t by
some other name.-New York Weekly
Old Pary-Boy, you'll catch cold i
you get your feet wet in that puddle
Small Boy-Dat's what I'm after In
a-goin' to speak "Spartacus to d,
Gladiators" at school ON Friday, an
wants to git me voice hoarse.-Chicag'
News.
Their pay is shockingly small 10
some Of our public officials" said tn
broad-minded man. YES" answere'
the cynic; but it averages up. Som
Of the public officials ale shocklngl
small for their pay."-Washingtol
Star.
Finnegan-Oh, yis, OF can under
stand how thin astronomers can ca
kuate til distance ay a shtarr, 1t
weight, and dinsity and color, and a
that-but tn thing thot gets me Il
how tn divvle do they know it's nam'
Puck.
She-What is the use Of searchin
for the North Pole, anyway? He
Why, It would result in great savin
Of money If found. She-How's that
He-It wouldn't be necessary to sen
any more expeditions to look after !
philadelphia Inquirer.
Constituent-Now, Mr.. Wunnout,
wish you'd do your best to get my DO
good government job. Congressma
, We'll, what can your son do? Cor
. stituent-What can he do7 Grea
Scott. man! if he could do anything
wouldn't be bothering you!-Clevelan
Plain Dealer.
Mrs. MCCALL do wish l could g
good maid. Mrs. Vandine-Yo
, might interview mine. think she
be delighted to go to you. Mrs. NJ
Call-But why don't you keep hei
/. Mrs. Vandine-Oh, she won't sta,
She says she wants place where ST
won't have so many gowns and ha
to take care of.-Philadelphia Press.
I Miss Smythe organizing a subscri
ton dance)-Im in despair about OF
o dance. Mr.. Brown. So many Peep
have failed me. You'll come, Won
2 vou7 Mr.. Brown Extremely STOUT
Reilly. Miss Smythe; I'm not danclr
+ man. l don't dance at all! MI
+ smythe-Oh. that don't matter In Il
n least. You'd help to fill up, you kno'
Mr. Brown-Ah-yes-with pleasul
will look in about supper time.
: Punch.