Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1905-01-20
THE RANSOM OF MACK.

seemed old.
Andy" he says to me, I'm tired of
hustling You and me have been working
hard together for three years. Say we
knock off for while and spend some OF
this idle money we've coaXed our way"
THE proposition hits me just right"
SAYS l. Lets he nabobs awhile and see
how II feels. Whatll we do-take in the
Niagara Falls. or buck at faro?'
For a good many years" says Mack,
i've thought that If | ever had extrav-
agant money I'd rent two-room cabin
somewhere. hire Chinaman to cook,
and sit in my stocking feet and read
Buckles History of Civilization"
THAT sounds self-indulgent and graft
flying without vulgar ostentation," says
| : "and | don't see how money could be
better invested Give me a cuckoo clock
and a Sep Winners Self-Instructor for
the Banjo. and I'll Join you"
A week atterward me and Mack hits
this small town of Pima, about thirty
miles out from Denver. and finds an ele-
giant two-roqm house that just suits us
We deposited half-a-peck of money In
the Pima bank and shook hands with
every one of the $40 citizens in the town
We brought along the Chiuaman and the
cuckoo clock and Buckle and the In
| structor with us from Denver; and they
made the cabin seem like home at once
Never believe it when they tell you
riches don't bring happiness. If you could
/ have seen old Mack sitting in his rock
/ ing-chair with his blue-yarn sock feet up
| I'm the window soaking in that Buckle
| stuff through his specs you'd have seen
/ a picture of content that would have
/ made Rockefeller jealous. And | was
/ learning to pick out "Old Zip Coon" on
| the banjo. and the cuckoo was on time
/ with his remarks. and All Sing was ness
! ing up the atmosphere with the hand
/ soonest smell of ham and eggs that ever
/ laid the honevsuckle In the shade. When
/ it got too dark to make out Buckles
| nonsense and the notes In the Instructor.
me and Mack would light our pipes and
! talk about science and pearl diving and
| sciatica and Egypt and spelling and fish
| and trade winds and leather and gratitude
and eagles, and a lot Of subjects that
| we'd never had time to explain our SEN
! tlmcnts about before. one evening Mack
| spoke up and asked me II | was much
aLprised i'm the habits and policies OF
women folks.
| why yes" says /. in tone of voice:
/ II know ON from Alfred to Omaha. The
| feminine nature and similitude,' says |.
rs as plain to my sight as the Rocky
| Mountains Is 10 a blue-eyed burro. I'm
onto all their little side-steps and pune
! tual discrepancies
Il tell you. Andy" says Mack. with a
! kind OF a sigh. Il never had the least
amount Of intersection with their pre-
| proneness IN respect to their vicinity
but | never took the time | made my
own living since ] was fourteen; and
never seemed To get my authorizations
equipped with the sentiments usually de-
piCted toward the sect. ! sometimes wish
had" SAYS old Mack.
They're an adverse study" says l.,
and ada pied to points Of view. Although
they vary in rationale. have found EN-
quite often obviously differing from each
other in divergences of contrast"
1T seems to me- goes on Mack, that a
man had better take EN- in and secure
his Inspirations of the scot when he's
young and so preordained. let my
chance 60 by; and guess I'm too old TO
go hopping into the curriculum
"Oh. | don't know" ] tells nim. May
be YOU better credit yourself with bar
rel of money and a lot of emancipation
from a quantity OF uncontent Still,
don't regret my knowledge Of EN-
says. Il: taxes a man who understands
the symptoms and by-pays Of women
folks to take care of himself in this
world"
We STAYED on in Pima. because we liked
. the place Some folks might enjoy their
money with noise and rapture and loco
2 notion but me and Mack we had ha,
I plenty of turmoil and hotel towels The
people were friendly; Al Sing got the
swing OF the grub we liked; Mack anC
Buckle were as thick two body
saatchers and I was hitting out a cor
, dial resemblance to Buffalo Gals, Can
, ] You Come out Tonight" on the banjo
, one daV | got a telegram from Speight
/ the man that was working a mine ! sac
, | an interest in out In New Mexico. | ha'
: TO go out there; and ! was gone month
| was anxious to get back to Pima an,
I enjoy life once more
. When | struck the cabin | nearly faint
. ed. Mack was standing i'm the door; an
! If angels ever wept ! saw no reason VIII!
a they should he smiling then.
That man was a spectacle. Yes; he wa
worse; he was a spyglass; he was tn
e great telescope in the Lick observatory
He had on y coat and shiny shoes and
d white vest and high silk hat; and a ge
l. ranium as big as an order Of spinac
n was spiked onto his front. And he wa
r Sinking and warpng his face like a
r Internal storekeeper or kid with collie
Hello. Andy" says Mack. out of hi
II face GLAD to see YOU back. Thing
Y. have happened since you went away"
r Il know it," says I, and sacrilegiou
o sight 1t is. God never made you that way
g Mack Lonsbury. Why do you scarify HI
e works with this presumptious kind @
: ribaldry?"
:, why Andy" says he, they've electe
p" me justice of the peace since you left.
looked at Mack close. He was resi-
u less and inspired. A justice of the peao
N ought to be disconsolate and assuaged.
3, Just then a Young woman passed o
II the sidewalk: and / saw Mack kind {
y half smoker and blush. and then i
ne raised up his hat and bowed, and ST
er smiled and bowed and went on by.
d mo hope for you" saws /, "if you'N
" got the Mary-Jane infrmity at your ag
w ] thought 1t wasn't going to take on yo
~ And patent leather shoes! All this
A., one little, short montn!
80 I'm goin to marry the young lady WI
- just passed tonight" says Mack, In
: kind of a futter.
90 II forgot something at the post-office
&c says |, and walked away quick.
"a | overlook that young woman hu
=, dred yards away. l raised my hat al
a. told her my name. She was about min
va teen; and young for her age. She blus
fr ed and then looked at me cool, like
Of was a scene from the Two Orphans. y
ID II understand you are to be marri
". tonight l said.
he Correct" says she. You got any o
-, jections?"
a. Listen, Sissy" l begins.
an My name is Miss Rebosa Reed sa
~, she, in a panied way.
"a II know it," says l. Now, Rebos
ed I'm old enough to have owed money
=, your father. And that old, speciol
hv dressed-up. garbled, sea-sick ptomai
Of prancing around avidiously like an