Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1905-06-16
,Aaii.uru,'s department.
A Hobo rieket speeulator.

a Hobo Ticket Specuiator.
s rGimrne a good seat" said the
frayed looking individual as he reach
ed the box Office OF a Newark theater'
according to the New York Press
The ticket seller looked up and took
a rapid look at the applicants raj
nent, which seemed to pass muster
ANY preference In price?" ne ask
ed. -r-. ..~-
: -The prices are all right, friend.
But I want seat somewhere In the
middle of the first or second row."
said the purchaser decisively.
Having obtained the seat desired
the dilapidated Individual entered the
playhouse, passing the voluble press
agent who used him as an example
to point out that the fascination OF
this drama often overruled the desire
for a good meal ...s
The individual under discussion took
his almost inaccessible seat and sat
there decorously until the orchestra
was playing the last strains Of the
overture. Then he arose and with
great deliberation removed his coat
ana vest, thereby exhibiting tattered
shirt of barber-p pole design and pair
Of grimy suspenders whose original
eolor had been green. To cap the
climax, Just as the curtain went up
he produced dirty clay pipe and
alIed 1t with the odorous brand OF
tobacco known as Ditch Digger's
Delight" "Scratch!" went sulphur
match, and this patron Of dramatic
art began to exhale little puffs OF
heavy smoke. Two ushers were al
ready maneuvering to get close to the
man without causing any excitement
but the task was difficult.
sExcuse me-" said q gentleman,
whose fair companion was slowly as
phyxiating, "but do you know that
smoking is against the rules?"
HSure," said the man, 'but don't
let that worry you" -.....
! -Pn report You to the manage
ment," muttered the gentleman wrath
fuzzy as he made his way UP the aisle
with his companion. A group In the
family circle had begun to litter at
the comedy below them, and the
murmur was spreading. The star
was wavering in her lines just as the
excited head usher slid into the va
Gated seats alongside of the human
yoictho. ssSAlz1z.sSs.zt z-las4. - - ,--ll--
SN-TISre!~ Here." ne said In a tense
whisper; you'll have to cut that out
and get yourself out in a hurry"
The smoker looked him calmly In
the eye, winked derisively as he
calculated the one word. "Tush!"
whereat he; emitted a,scloud OF smoke
that sayored of Barron Island on a
summersS.
Come on out" said the usher.
persuasively. "well give you your
money back"
Don't want it," said the man
tersely.
Then We'll get a policeman" said
the usher.
Go ahead. my boy. Therel be a
lot Of torn dresses and theater panic
before I'm hauled out. Now, IL you
want to talk money to me hurry up,
cause I feel like smokin' and people
will think it's a fire."
"A dollar" said the usher, land
no arrest"
A dozen rumors were spreading
ar,ono snacfafors in different parts of
the house, and but for the reassuring
note In the laughter of a few per-
sons who saw the fun in the situa-
ton the condition OF affairs would
have been extremely serious.
Mike" said the man decisively
MY price is fifteen right here In my
hand, and a promise not to prosecute
Here 1t Is, you scoundrel," Missed
the manager, who had Joined the head
usher. Then, as the man put away
his pipe and donned his coat, the
manager winked a cold, cruel tip to
the usher who hurried out and mar.
shaled the employees in battle forma-
tion in the lobby.
. A few moments later the victorious
hobo was propelled into the gutter
by a, dozen vigorous punches and
kicks, but the fifteen dollars wen
with him.