New-York tribune., 1905-12-29
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Hogs Climb skyward'' the headline Of an
article in Chicago paper the other day. It sur
mounted a holiday market report and told the
glad tidngs of great joy that pork had risen some
cents pound To Eastern eye unused to read
ing the reports of the dressed pork market it
had salient novelty but in the Western mind it
probably has attained the consideration of a dead
metaphor The phrase is brisk and Western. 1t Is
unct,lous and optimistic. If hogs climb skyward
there is certainly some hope for men!
THE GRIP MICRoBE.
have tiny little pet,
A creature strange and wee;
I often strive to lose him. yet
He's very fond of me.
And with delight will sguirTn
This curious little germ
About my shoulders with great glee
He climbs and shows no fear
And when Quinine I've taken. he
VIII sing into my ear;
WAateeT qt 6etids to S9d1T me he'll he'll cling
E Devotion Hna on IfSn thas G complete. GnS te.hs
-Cwashngton Star
Professor Starr, the famous ethnologist, was in
his humorous and whimsical way accusing woman
of barbarism according to 1.-The Chicago Chronicle"
And she is not only barbarous-she is illogical
and Inconsistent he exclaimed.
Il was walking in the country day with a
young woman. In a grove we came upon a boy
about to shin up There was a nest in the
tree, and from certain angle it was possible to
see in It three eggs.
You wicked little boy said my companion.
are you going up there to rob that nest?
q L am the boy replied coolly.
+" How you?' she exclaimed. Think how the
mother will grieve over the loss of her eggs,
oh. she won't care said the boy. She's up
there in your hat
WHEN ADAM WAS BOY.
Earth wasn't as it is to-day
NObOdV'S hair 6treaked gray
When Adam boy
There wasn't anybody who - '''1 90"
Asked us it hot enough for your
When Adam was boy.
There were no front lawns to be moved
No kitchen gardens to be hoed
When Adam was boy.
No en9Gn5 al lessons sna' to be ss eared Pe
When Adam was a boy
There was no staying after school,
Because somebody broke rule
When Adam was q boy.
Without sup of broth or bread
When Adam was a boy.
Yet life YES pretty dun, no doubt.
There nsR we're eas1re no @ baseball I0 Clubs about
When Adam boy.
No street piano ,5o-s stopped so s,1,os each day
No brass band ever marched his way
When Adam was boy.
There were no fireworks at all
When Adam a boy;
No one could pitch drop curve ball
When Adam was boy.
But here is why times are so
Much better than the long ago
There Santa Claus you know
When Adam a boy.
--(Nixon Waterman, in Woman's Home Com nion
Charles T. Yerkes, OF London and Chicago trae
ton fame who is critically III is famed in Chi
cago for his iron When the Moore Brothers
failed in August, 1896 group OF bankers met at
the house of P. D. Armour to discuss the financial
situation rendered additionally precarious by the
amount of Yerkes paper ahoat. 1t is a valued CHI
cago story that Mr. Yerkes. himself wearing stiff
little straw hat with a gaudy ribbon attached
saluted the solemn faced group OF fnanciers with
the breezy remark: This is the largest collection
of straw hats ! at funeral" He urged
that the Stock Exchange be closed outright, and
when its governors hesitated at the boldness OF
the suggestion he declared Very well. open for
business tomorrow. and you will close many of
the banks of Chicago before to-norrow night"
That word settled IT,
wieks--I saw some verses in the paper to-day BY
Peter Pettikins
Wicks-So you told BY the way, Peter Pet
tikin'' Is a pseudonyme, of eoursee
HicksrNo. indeed. he's Observation-Disclosures
kNn HUZE