Los Angeles herald., 1905-10-29
Pi-LineS and Pick-UpS

lHSy say tndL dIBelb Hi are inenS
Is that the fact, dear par
Asked Johnnie; and his papa said
why, yesv'-to worry ma
Then how" asked Johnnie, do they
look
With whiskers all bedight,
Upon the golden streets7 They must
Each be a funny sight!"
"They do not wear their whiskers there"
Said Johnnies mamma, grave;
THE only way they reach that place
Is by quite close shave!"
The sun is losing Its heat, But don't
worry; 1t will be 24.Ooo, 900 years before the
earth will feel any chill.
How can 1t be a stationary engine, when
II runs7
It's the girls who are strongest In their
demands for good male service.
Some women reign: but all storm.
In the Philippines, just now, alimony
follows the flag.
Miss Peach-Her new gown beggars
description,
NAiSS = ASuN-<AlSO liCI HuSuduu'
Anyhow, James Hazen Hyde had no
family.
Secretary Shaw says the goat is better
for some things than the COW. Butter. eh2
The new motto for life insurance COM
panies: "only bachelors hold our Offices"
Not dnou the 0f ba
digging drown the chin music You can
still hear the talk
Campaign committee on pure elections
Did you contribute to the corruption fund
of your party?
Candidate on the rack-wel, have a
life insurance policy.
The best water for sick people to drink
is "welI' water
Eva and John Boat have been divorced
in Kansas. Henceforth each will paddle
his or her own canoe.
Here's a man who says he'd as soon
live on the isthmus as In Chicago. Not
much choice; reminds us of Gen. Sher-
man, who said that If he owned Texas
and the hot place, Texas would be for
rent.
Jimmie Officeboy-I git tree a week.
Tommie Cashboy-Gee. Ye got me
McCurdied!
The fact that certain Kansans have
formed q red-headed society proves that
recent events haven't made the whole
state that way.
A Berlin doctor says excessive water
drinking is dangerous. Well, Berlin
needn't worry
The Hall Of Fame is In New York. So
are the various halls of shame that are
worrying certain high salaried presidents,
actuaries and the like.
The fad among women is the shape, |
except in Chicago. There, owing to their
most prominent "feet"-ure; it's the I. |
shape.
Speaking of the knockers that are
always running down their own city
Alderman Pendergast of Kansas City
says: you can't saw wood with ham |
mer."
Poppy-We were engaged the second |
time we met.
Pansy-Why the delay?
President McCurdy has a receding |
chin. It's made up for by his protrud- |
ing nerve and palm.
The Editor Wants to Know
Bart Haswell, who was married last |
week, came out on his front porch this |
morning and kicked the dog twice. Is
marriage a failure ?-Waitsburg (Mo.) |
Record.
Gov Jeff. Davis of Arkansas is to |
retire to private life. Congratulations
Arkansawl
The sculptor whose angels were re-
jected because they were women |
smashed them to pieces. 1t is we'll to
inform him, however, that angels" Of
the male persuasion have been broke" |
many time ere this.
Orange-Miss Palm is passing fair
Lemon-She seems we'll passed, to |
me!
That Missouri man who married
Emma Beer before he was fully di-
vorced from Amanda Redwine seems 70
have mixed his drinks, as 1t were
Golf cures hay fever" it is an
nounced Yes. but what cures golf?
Chicago minister's declare that there
are flats in heaven. When did it be-
come 80 crowded? If 1t were hell,
now
AS to Hold-ups
Cole Younger. In his early days
A bandit was. and bold:
He held up on highways and trains,
And took mems money cold;
A pistol or a shotgun was
His method-good, but old!
Cole Younger has reformed, and now
He runs a trolley line;
Still does he hold up passengers,
And annex coin so fine,