The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1905-02-04
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/ COSAoPAE pell--AOVelygSl never should
have known that 1t was you.-Somer.
vile Journal. 80 +
Book Agent-Now, sir, can sell
you an encyclopedia. Old John-Noa,
don't think SO. Pm tew old to ride
now.-Punch. ... ~, .-....
Heater all, you know, there's
nothing to beat a good musical com.
edyl She (hesitating)-No; except,
perhaps, shakspeare.-Exchange.
Goodwin hear you gave twenty.
fVe dollars to help repair the church 7
Graspit-You have been misinformed,
l merely subscribed that amount
Chicago News.
Friend-Why do you allow your
daughter to bang the piano SO hard
Papa-Im hoping she'll either sprain
her wrist or bust the Instrument
Chicago News.
$50 you were at Mrs. Marrable's
dinner yesterday, Flossie. What was
the menu ltkeT II really can't tell
you, for didn't take any. It's thing
|
Teacher-I suppose you know, Har.
~, that in keeping you after school I
punish myself as we'll as you? Harry
Yes, MN; that's why don't mind
it-Boston Transcript.
mo, won't give you a piece of my
apple" snapped bis sister "You mean
thing!! said the boy. Wasn't it HE
that spoiled the piano, so that you
didn't have to practice for a week."
Ernie-Gussie Sapp says If 1 refuse
him he will go away and Join either
the Japanese or Russian army. Belle
Then accept him. Those nations
have enough trouble already.-Chi.
cago News.
Harold-Dtd your charity ball real
lie anything for charity? Dolly-WeIl,
rather. Old Jabez Gotrox sat in a
draught, got pneumonia, died next day,
and left ten thousand dollars to an or.
phan asylum.-Puck.
Miss Peppery-She says you appear
to have habit of telling all you know.
Cholly-Fawncy! Why l nevah met
her till lawst evening, and then only
for five minutes. Miss Peppery-
Well?-Philadelphia Ledger.
Eyes, he began here as an Office
boy" "And, suppose, mastered ev-
cry detail Of the business, so that be
could take charge of the great estab-
l1shment-" mo, he married the senior
partners daughter.
Simpson-WilIiams has always a
good supply of nice fresh eggs. How
does he get them? Thompson-His
ne1ghbors all keep fowls and never
lock their fowIhouse doors. Simpson
All, I see! Poached eggs, Ell?
shall get off this end of the carr"
said a lady to the conductor on
Santa Fe train the other day, as it
pulled into Topeka. Just suit your
self, madam" said the conductor,
both ends stop."-Topeka Capital.
The Parson-I intend to pray that
you may forgive Casey for having
thrown that brick at you. The Patient
-Mebbe yer riv-rence 'ud be saving
tonne II yed Just wait till OF git we'll
an then pray for Casey.-Brookly
Life.
HE poses as a reformer, doesn't
he2" "Oh, he's worse than reform
or. His ideas would upset the whole
social and business world. He says if
he had his way he'd put in Jail every.
body who ought to be there "-Phila-
delphia Press.
you can't keep a good man down."
said the boarder who has a mania for
quotations. ''Unless," observed the
fluffy haired girl who typewrites be-
cause she needs the money, he has a
seat in crowded car. Then you can't
get him up."-Chicago News.
Mrs. Jones-I think it's the most
ridiculous thing to call that man in
the bank a teller" Mrs. Johnson
Why2 Mrs. Jones-Because he simply
won't tell at all. asked one to-day
how much my husband had on deposit
there, and he just laughed. Bits.
Young Lady-YOu are wonderful
master of the piano, hear. Professor
Won Spieler (hired for the occasional
blay aggompaniments sometimes.
Young neutrality-suspicious. to sing
ing2 Professor. Won Spieler-Aggom-
paniments to gonversatons.-New
York Weekly.
Mrs. Albee-Of course, you married
Mr.. Bebee for lover Mrs Bebee-Well,
yes, l suppose you would call it that.
married him to protect him from no
less than three widows in our street.
If hadn't snapped him up, one of
them would have been sure to get him.
Boston Transcript !
Senior Partner-What title shall we
give our new beauty book? Junior
Partner-How would How to Become
Beautiful do? Senior Partner-Don't
believe that would make a hit with
most women. Junior Partner-Then
well call it How to Continue Beau.
uful." Senior Partner-Ah, that's the