Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-22
Pi-lines and Pick-upS
Whv PAaadena Hpantar

And enclose their forms divine IN papas
trousers and his shirtsi
Now the Pasadena council is msde up Of
men full wise, H
And they needed this petition, though It
came as a surprise;
They knew that any woman only wants
what she can't get,
And they argued, II they let 'em, they
would soon their wants forget.
MAY we wear the trousers7" asked they,
And the council said, ''You mayP'
So the damses have permission to parade
'em night and day.
And the men folks line the thoroughfares,
their eyes and mouths agape
A-watching for the woman who will give
away her shapel
Ho ye, all strong-minded women,
Hurry up and take your chances;
For to see ye logged in trousers,
Pasadena pantsl
The chilly Mr.. Fairbanks would be quite
welcome in the east now--if he brought
his atmosphere with him.
Maybe the czar is wise to our average
state legislatures, not to speak OF con-
gress, and wants to take no chances.
No one could blame him,
One baby a day is born in the town of
Roosevelt, 1. T. And yet they ask what's
in a name.
That 'history repeats itself'' is one OF
the recompenses of widowhood.
Walter Scott found no need to burn
money In New York. The place is the
hottest" this side of the hereafter, in
both senses, just now.
Roumania having held the spotlight,
now comes Jealous Bulgaria to take adj
vantage of Russian troubles. These in
significant little states must get notice
somewhere. la
If COWS only knew what they are worth
when they become beef, they wouldn't be
SO meek and lowly. perhaps
The st. Louis st-Dispatch will pay
$500 to any one who will tell how to in
crease the cfty's population to 100000.
Huh! That's easy. Take off the lid.
A Connecticut man has struck a. new
scheme to discourage his mother-in-law's
visits. He set bear trap for her to
step in.
Chief o'Neill of the Chicago police
believes in nepotism. On the force he
has one son-in-law, three nephews. one
brother-in-law, the father of his son-in-
law, the brother-in-law of a nephew. ff-
teen of his own cousins, seven of his
wifes cousins and two relatives unclassi-
fed. How's that?
Mr.. Prune-Women always dote on
fools.
Miss Lemon-No wonder you are such a
favorite with them!
A Kansas farmer dislocated his Jaw in
laughing because rainstorm passed over
his wheat crop and ruined a neighbor's.
He went twelve miles to town to have
his Jaw set, and found on his return that
hail had ruined his own crop meanwhile.
He laughs last now.
Many a man who can't serve two mas
ters serves his wife and mother-in-law.
Mayor Dunno says Chicago is the nerve
center of the United States. Funny, COM
sidering the lack of 1t shown during
strike times. ~
The Shrnkage of Tom
A Tomcat went a-walking thro' country
one fine day
A country where he'd lived, of course,
e'er since his natal day,
But still wherein, but little known, no
one had him remarked
AS aught of extraordinary; he was safely
parked
Within a cage all giIded, and his voice
was but a purr.
But now, as wandered he abroad, he
thought to make stir.
He lifted up his voice, then, and emitted
quite yell:
"The octopus is graspng, and it soon will
own all hell.
AS well as earth and heavenI You had
better be prepared!'
The people paused and listened, and the
timid ones were scared;
The shriekings were so strenuous that
persons were amazed.
And soon a lion he was called-the
prophet of these daysl
And then remedy was sought; the lion
bold was asked
To help to rescue those who in the
gorgon's favor basked.
''The only way" said he, ''is, just you
render unto me
Everything that you possess. and will
help you-see?
My roar is so extensive that the octopus
will die;
And meanwhile I will take your bonds.
and simply, l will fly"
straightway the people got dead on, and
with the knowledge came
Remarkable enlightenment-they soon
were next the game.
The consequence? The lion shrunk so
very rapid that
Within the round of sun to sun. he turned
back to a catl
And now upon the backyard fence this
Thomas cat oft prowls.
And in the night Of his despair he yowls-
Nv. H.C.
sles6EE's SQUADRON