The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-25
HUMOR OF THE Day

HUMOR OF THE DAYH
He-I presume you carry a memento OF
some kind in that locket of yours?
She-Precisely. 1t is lock of my nus
He9But your husband is still alive.
She-But his hair is all gone.-Judge.
Winkle-After all, the first year of mar
ried life is the most unhappy don't 70"
Tod-oh. yes; it takes about that long
for man to learn how to conceal things
from his wife.-Town and Country.
Muggins-old Busybody says he believes
in padding his own ca 1,3 e;r,,,svh,dv isn't
satisfied unless he is padding some other
fellow's.-Philadeiphia Record.
IT wonder who framed those trolley-grab
ii don't know: but can tell you how
"HoW?'
In guilt Philadelphia Ledger.
They're going to name the baby Mary
after her maternal grandmother"
gracious; that's terriblef'
msSsa ~ ghs gSSs fBIS P y be
did I understand you," asked the man
who was trying to pull off little shred
OF white meat. TO say that this was
.Yes, SIR replied the waiter. land I
, Want y o9, to understand stand that h, I'm not
d-Herald.
What baseball club did you play with
this season?
game of baseball in my life. Why do you
that you were a splendid catch.LNew
Yorker.
~ ,.Rridgst, did you mold the bread. as
NO. mum; put it in that damp cup
board. Last weeks bread nodded itself IN
trouble? ''-CIeveland Leader.
I'M Mr. ., stnbbs~so you were getting anx-
Mrs. Stubbs-Yes. 1 though possibly you
Mr.. stubbs-And I though with your
usual apology for wit you would say it
was petty larceny. eh?
Mrs. Stubbs-No, indeed. would say it
was grand.-Detroit Tribune.
wife.,.Morgan. you positively disgraced
yourself tonight. You are so stepped in
business and commercial language you are
no good outside of your office.
Wife~Why. when Mr. snodg i' asked
you to say grace at the table tonight You
commenced with My dear Lord" and
ended with Very respectfully yours. -
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
The necktie wife purchased for
Dear hubby was just too intense,
Though for it she gave up thfrty-nine
1t looked to him like thirty cents.
Chicago News.
Customer-What made the old guy so
Boy-He.s nutty, / guess. He wanted
two dog biscuits, and I only asked him Il
up.-Cornell Widow.
Mrs. Dewtell-what is that piece that
Mr. Dewteil@ft's either an aria from
.'Parsifal' or she has seen mouse and
is scarec.-San Francisco Call.
We'll, the Lord made the weather"
Yes. but the devil set match to it,
Atlanta Constitution.
do you like caviare?"
mo. it tastes to me great deal like
the Russian language sounds. washing
/ ton Star.
Hello! Where are you walking in such
Fellow lust stole my auto and went
But surely. you don't expect to over
Sure. He forgot to take the repair kit
| First shipwrecked Mariner-This is a
Dully lSlanu. we must get rio or these ma
| tives soon possible, so we can own
it ourselves.
Second Shipwrecked Mariner-But how
F. s. M.-Easy. Wege saved enough
from the wreck to feed them all on health
| foods-Life.
| Ryer-Country people haven't the finish
| of the city people
Byer--A.nd yet they have been done oft
ener.-Judce.
His yacht is quite fast. isn't it2'
Very fast. You ought to see how it is
going through his money."-New York
Press.
First Doctor-I have to be very careful
about giving this prescription.
Second Doctor-Does It kill OF cure?-
Life.
"a penny for your thoughts, my boy"
81 was thinking of asking you to lend
me IS till pay day.''-Cleveland Leader.