The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-05-25
These Are On the Lnayers.

These Are On the Luayers.
From the Green Bag.
ssAHAT does he give for not paying his wife ali
w mony?"
'He says that marriage lottery and hence almony
is gambling debt.
1'Poor fellow! Isn he crosseyedY''
Eyes but he's lawyer and you know he's the finest
cross-examiner in the state"
Give bought farm about ten miles out Of town."
said the with the black eye, he entered lawyers
office
sExacty-exactly YOU We, bought a farm and you've
discovered that Of the line fences takes in four five
feet your land You attempted discuss the with
the farmer and he resorted to arms.''
tYes'
"Wel, don't you worry You can first sue him for as
saut Then for battery Then for personal damages Then
we'll up the matter the fence promise you that
if don't beat him keep the court for
at least twentyv years. Meanwhile he III probably ham
string your cows, poison your calves and set fire your
barn. and you begin suit almost every week. Ny
dear man. got what they call pudding and you
have fun from to the day you die of old age''
Spain boasts probably the longest lawsuit in the worlds
history It began in 1917 and is still sub udce The case
which pension between the Marquis de Vana
and the Count Torres de Cabrera the accumulated
in dispute would have reached fabulous millions had not four
centuries of attorneys, barrsters and court officials taken
consdrate of appropriation prevent the
becoming unwedy In 1872 the in the deliberate
mind Of Spanish Jurisprudence deemed less for
decision but which
taed its being set back to the year following The judges
however, have become apprehensve lest the suit should
reach it's fifth century, and this might reflect upon the
promptude of Spanish procedure the customary dispatch is
to be still further stimulated to that judgment be
given within period not exceeding two years longer
General Benjamin F. Butler in pleading before
inferior court in Massachusetts, for poor workings
who his free list, caused the presiding judge
threaten to fine him for contempt of court to which Mr.
Butler replied apparent SURPRISE ~ have expressed
contempt for the COURT the contrary have carefully
concealed my feelings >~5-. .
Lawyer-What do for you madam?
Excited Client-Wy my man ben in jail fer two
weeks. rs times out an they won't let him Co.
you t. gimme writ O. shave lis carcass
An English lawyer was examining the plaintiff in
promise ''Was the defendants air. when
he promised marry perfectly Serious OF ocu
-larity?" he inquired. A.
you please, SIR the reply, cit all rued
with i'm a-runnn' lis lands thru it,
s'You misapprehend my meaning said the lawyer
''Was the promise made in utter sincerity?'
tsNo sir an place like it. It made In the wash
'ouse an awrngn the clothes, replied the plaintiff
Judge in of the New York municipal has his
own quick way Of getting into the heart of
The lawyer for the plaintiff had just finished presenting
his argument and he mopped his brow and sat down. the
judge stared at him admrngy with wide-open eyes and
open Then he turned to the other lawyer who had
risen to his feet.
defendant needn't plead, plaintiff WINS - he shouted
E'But, your HONOR protested the lawyer, ''let at
| least present my case.'
The Judge looked weary. 'Wel go ahead he grunted.
So the lawyer for the defendant went ahead When he
finished the judge looked at him, too, with wdeopen
| eyes and open mouth.
Don't it beat the Dutch!'' he exclaimed Defendant
| WINS
Judge Sherman of Cambridge walking thru the
Boston streets recently returning shabby cotton umbrella
to it's owner looking for all the world like countryman,
when bunco seerer stepped up to him and claimed
! quaintance
81 DON seem to remember you,' said the Judge
Upon being urged to refresh his memory the judge,
ing thru the little game calmly said: We, my FRIEND
have sent many Of you boys to Jail can't remember
| you all, you know
Lawyer Ito offceboy) Samuel, did see you reading
! law book this morning?
Office Boy (proudly) Yes sir.
Lawyer-We, Samuel, that gives you the status Of law
clerk Your salary will be discontinued Saturday.
He undergoing poor debtor examination and it
was new experience for him. He had given his and
age and then the question: sWhere do you ive?'
He named a hotel in the city.
/ s'How much do you pay per week for your board?''