Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-10-22
NINE GAGGED
AXE-SHARPENERS

The other afternoon the City Discoverar
was wandering slowly along one OF the
blue-stone roads In Rock Creek Park, en-
joyfhg the bracing air. the gentle warmth
OF the autumn sunshine and the beauty of
the parti-colored foliage that covered hill
and dale. when he suddenly came to a halt
and cooked his head on side to listen.
There isn't any machine shop out this
way" said the City Discoverer to him
self, after he hadf strained his ears for a
few minutes. NOR Is there an apiary or a
saw mill. certainly must investigate
And the Dscoverer. his mild blue eyes
flashing with curiosity startled down wind
in search of the source OF the sound
The Discoverer had proceeded but a lit-
tie way when the whlrring and buzzing
and grinding grew louder. and. forcing his
way through a thick screen of bushes tho
Discoverer saw a most remarkable sight.
In a semi-circle in the center of big
open space, walled I'm by foliage. nine
grindstones were whirring under the I'M
petus of nine muscular colored citizens.
while nine distinguished and learned-iook-
ing men with cruel gags in their mouths
were diligently sharpening nine rusty axes
upon the swiftly revolving stones. In 'front.'
of the group stood a young man with
close-cropped black mustache and an air OF
extreme responsibility, who busted himself
in polishing. with real silk handkerchief,
a handful of silver-mounted and mono
grained stenographic pot hooks.
1T can't be the chain gang muttered
the Discoverer as he trotted across the IN
tervening space toward the grindstone
group. because convicts always wear
striped clothing. And, besides, the nine
men with the gags In their mouths look
quite distinguished and not at all chain
gangy. | must look them over And
tho DiScOVprer anprOachpd Number one
in the semi-circle of axe-sharpeners.
Number One was a slender. middle-aged
man of average height. with a cold, 1u-
dicial eye.
My dear sir" said the Discoverer com
passionately. you have my sympathy
wish you didn't have that gag In your
mouth. IL for no other reason than you
could tell me why you are sharpening that
axe
The slender. middle-aged man addressed.
who from his cold, judicial eye and re-
served expression didn't seem to REQUIRE
the use of a gag to render him speeches.,
glanced at the Discoverer indferently. Sc
iected a gray hair from his temple, tested
the edge of his axe. and calmly went on
grinding.
THE axe and the gag go together. said
the young man with the close-cropped
black mustache and the air Of extreme re-
sponsibility, walking up to the Discoverer
and nudging him in the ribs.
"Oh-yes-I see said the Dlscoverer In
a tone which indicated that he didn't. can
you tell me who this gentleman is?"
"Root.Boss Diplomat" replied the young gu
siiver-mounted pot hook and rubbed 1t
with his real silk handkerchief
"Gracious," said the Discoverer as he
stared almost unbelievingly at axe-sharp-
ener Number One before moving on around
the semi-circle.
And this gentleman" the Discoverer
continued. pausing beside axe-sharpener
Number Two surely seems out of place
hot that reminiscent
twinkle. that fatherly manner. that conn
Dental air, proclaims man OF Dreamy
temperament, who would rather subslst
upon pittance, far from the madalns
throng, than strive IN the pusy inai's
To-
"Au wrong" said the young man with
the close-cropped black mustache, as ne
toyed with a cunningR wrought typeWrlt-
ing machine in miniature, which banded
from his watchchain. That's Shaw-Boss
Exchequerist; also known as the fresldeh-
tial Beehive. Ito,
with alarm that axe-sharpener Number
Two felt the edge of his weapon. glanced
AT the black-mustached person and smllea
fendishly behind his gag at some thousiis
best known to himself
And this gentleman" said the City Dis
covered proceeding one more step around
the semi-circle, and pointing TO a Droau,
corpulent man. who evidently nau io 1nsa
considerable difficulty in getting close
enough to the grindstone to lay his axe "a
1t: '.just look at him. His collar Is "liteu,
his cuffs are limp. he is wetting the stone
with the sweat of his brow, and yet ne 10
as cheerful as can be. I'll bet he'd iaugh
out loud right now If you TOOK mat gag
out of his mouth.
The big man nodded so vigorously that
for a minute the Discoverer had the SEN
alton of standing within range Of a gar
den sprinkler But the young person with
the air of extreme responsibility was I'M
moved He might laugh. but he'd taik *,
nrtl
war Boss and Philippine Pacifier'
And this sturdy looking. intelligent APP
pearing gentleman who appears TO haNe
finished his grinding and Is examining ,he
edge of his axe through MS spectaci1a'
"Moody-Boss Judge" replied the re-
sponsible young person as he languidly con-
suited half-Russia notebook, ,a so,onor
with the black pompadour, continued Inc
Discoverer. moving up another notch.
''Cortelyou-Boss Letter Carrier, replied
the black mustached young person. WIN
his usual brevity.
and the next one" cried the Discoverer.
1.-The one who appears unable to get an
edge on his axe.
turn young person. Hes also a Ciyii
Service Reformer. and maybe that's the
reason he's having trouble with his axe
And the elderly gentleman just beyond
who looks as If he'd like to try his axe on
somebody right away? ..
That's Hitchcock-Boss Interiorist," re-
piled the responsible young person. Also
Boss Investigator and Boss Dscharger.
"And the fierce-looking old gentleman
who has finished his job and looks as II
he were about to explode?'
"Wilson-Boss Farmer replied the young
man with the air of extreme responsibility
Hes mad because he can't talk about the
cotton crop report.
And that last gentleman of all2'
.Metcalf-Boss Commercialfst, replied
the black-mustached young person, looking
over the silent and perspiring semi-circle in
rather an amused way.
The City Discoverer passed his hand
over his brow in a dazed fashion and tried
to collect his thoughts.
sir" he said to the young man with
the responsible air and the close-cropped
black mustache, you have named to me
every member of the Presidents cabinet.
If YOU do not want me to believe you guilty
of falsehood explain this strange sight"
And the Discoverer matestically swept his
hand around the semi-circle.
Presidents orders said the responsible
young person. yawning freely and openly
at the top Of a neighboring tree. "Presi-
dent issued a dismissal order, and these
Observation-Disclosures are sharpening
IN the axes they have carelessly allowed