The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-09-06
With the Long Bo1u
Eye natures walks. shoof foity as II nies.'

-"Ey. natures walks shoo foly' as Il n,es"
G MALL humorsts doing the state fair consider the prize
y pumpkin and the obese hog subjects for mrh. This is
the result Of imperfect thought There human interest
noting what little pumpkin seed do with the Mime
sofa soil and climate: And logical mind view the
prize pig without emotion.
AS for horse-racng moral certainty that horse
faster than another, where is the interest seeing
him do it. But who set limit to the pig to the
pumpknq
While strolng the farm have often wondered
what the pumpkin could do the twice long,
The pumpkins is cut short thru climatic limitations
but the pig has all seasons for his
Give pig a comfortable pen, time and unlimited swill
and there why the Minnesota poker should not
ouhog everything that rooted soil And do it entirely
without strain expenditure of nervous energy. -
The large pumpkin observes perhaps with surprise,
certainly with peasure but the big pig goes deeper touches
of the and exces special wonder
Scan such things be9' H. y 49,: -@>@-~
Connect infinite appetite with unlimited swl and why
should not the result be Illmable Pig? -.'. .
The human mind pauses, lost in contemplation of great
possibilities
reader brings in story of Eighth ward genius who
chooroformed himself to pull TOOTH He made ready to
extract the bter took his chorofo wouldn't hurt and
came to greatly surprised to find the tooth still in place.
Loving friends have suggested that he climb the roof,
hitch his tooth the chimney choroform himself and fall
off the house. It is hard way but either the tooth the
chimney would have to ...... ..-
49, ~~'
gentleman Portland avenue who fears wind storms,
adopted novel method Of protection against injury
should hurricane cyclone his home from his lot
He has purchased two lengths of large iron waer which
he has had removed the basement At the first indications
Of he and his wife crawl into the castron pipe He
has it all figured out that nothing fall him in his
cyclone cellar and the peace Of mind alone him
when the elements at their worst is worth to him
than all the expenses.
it into its head to blow thru the water pipe the parties i'll
question likely to be discharged into the air like two
pease bean blower Then the last state of this
is likely to be worse than the first.
When Chin Lak's laundry caught fire excited passersby
yelled Chin rescued his strong box and was standing
calmly the other side Of the street.
"What'n heee Mellican boiler 'hiar' for! loo
muchee 1iar Chinamannee hollee 'watah.'"
Many people who do not know him consider the Char
keeper bad man. The fact that Charles W. Culkn,
ex-bartender recently made clerk the of general
sessions in New York called out considerable criticism Culn
has received good many letters Of sympathy from in
the liquor business of whom do not want to be in it,
but to way out. The Of hotel in Jack
sonvile Fla, writes: - 49,. ..,..
~ claim that no one diplomat Of the first water
be successful barkeeper He has to discuss politics.
gon pugsn horses DRAMA medical science, weather.
the sthman canal sevenup and other topics with dozen
every day. holding his end Of the conversation,
but anagonizing mans views. He must pour oil on
troubled waters, decide BETS and pacify jags
'He must listen by the hour to the talk Of gabby light
weights of balloons and stand ready corrobo
any made by the regular patron He must
cultivate knowledge of human nature that he tell at
glance whether the fuzzy ba who cuts circle before he
gets the rail hobo respected citizen periodical
fFor him life full Of serious and perexing problems
It effort keep square with both political par
ties, the police and the wine agents.
"For who swing such complicated propositions
the ordinary duties Of a diplomat would be simple
{ tjackstraws.'' -
We do not like the saloon business but should not
the barkeepers The amount Of human asniny and
weakness he faces and daily something stu
| pendous
Jacob Riis has been urged by somebody to for
Of New York; but declines the ground that he not fitted
executive of great CITY, This opinion Of himself
may be the very thing that fits him to be the needed
tive It keeps watchfu and prayerful if he really
means Too often he has the opinion for publication only
but thinks in reality that he is pretty number
E M4 +.f
General linotype will escape from the far eastern
nsmrched unless the Japanese his front mad enough
to jump him and lick him anyway just for good
# "A. j. R.
HIWhof Wor17er7 Want tn K no,,,