davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1905-05-10

On the occasion Of their fifteenth
wedding anniversary, last Monday
evening, Mr.. and Mrs. Frank Shard-
low entertained. a number OF their
friends at their home on North Sec
ond street. The evening was spent
In playing cards, prizes being award
ed the winners. Wright's orchestra
played throughout the evening, and
the syncopated Quartette sang seve-
raj very pleasing selections. The
house was beautifully decorated in
the drawing room. dining room and
parlor. The host and hostess were
the recipients Of many exquisite pres
snts. It being the crystal annivers-
airy. cut glass presents were princi-
paily sent. Excellent Refreshments
we're served It the close Of the even
ins's entertainment.
The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1905-05-10
East Side Population 5000.
D. R. BARTON, is H |: a'Ss4 sr.

George Vance, who Ia taking the
census of the city has completed
the enrolment for the east side OF
the town. He crossed the track yes
terday afternoon with more than
5000 to the good. The population Of
the west side OF town Is variously
estimated by different parties from
1900 to 5000. Mr.. Vance does not
think the west side will show over
1900 population.
The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1905-05-10
Memorial Sunday Services.

Memorial services will be con-
Quoted at the Christian church on
Memorial Sunday at IL o'clock. Rev.
Morton L. Rose, pastor Of the church,
will deliver the sermon. A suitable
program is being arranged, and the
church choir is preparing special
music for the occasion. Memorial
day. which is always the Sunday pre-
ceding Decoration day. will come this
year on May 2Sth.
The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1905-05-10

For Sale-Seven room modern cot
tage; bath room; brick cellar; barn:
lot 50x140; good location; $3.50 cash
will handle 1t, rest on time. For
terms and to see property call at ia
SO. Eighth ut. North Yakima. 1913
The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1905-05-10

New Car buggies and carriages.
Coffin Bros. lett
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25
GERMANS IN JERUSALEM.
Subjects of the Kaiser Occupy Suburb
That Is a Village of
Teutons.

The German emperor's widely adver-
tised visit to Jerusalem was followed
by the founding of an institute for the
study of oriental objects, says the New
York World. This has now been open
n year, and, according to A. Goodrich
Freer, author Of Inner Jerusalem" it
has a large attendance of Germans, Jews,
Arabs and monks of various faiths.
The American school has never had
more than five students. The German
suburb is the largest and in trade the
most prominent in the city. Mr.. Freer
says that sit is to all practical purposes
a picturesque German village, having
its W church, public hall, band, drill
hall, schools, farm, garden, and, of
course, bierhalle.
Three immense orphanages, a large
general hospital and a children's hos
pital maintained by the Germans are the
only Protestant institutions of the kind
upon any scale of magnitude in Jerusa-
lem"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25
The Bad Boy Writes More from Paris
Dad Poses as a Mormon Bishop
and They Climb the Eiffel Tower.

BY HON. GEORGE w. PECK.
Ex-Governor of Wisconsin, Formerly Pub
Usher of Peck's Sun, Author of
"Peck's Bad Boy" Etc.)
Copyright, 1905. by Joseph B. Bowles)
Paris, France.-Old Pardner in
Crime: got your letter, telling me
about the political campaign that is
raging at home, and when l read it to
dad he wanted to go right out and fill
up on campaign whisky and yell for his
presidential candidate, but he couldn't
find any whisky, 81 he has not tried to
carry any precincts of Paris for our
standard bearer.
There is something queer about the
liquor here. There is no regular cam
paign beverage. At home you can Sc
lect a drink that is appropriate for any
stage of a campaign. When the NOM
nations are first made you are not ex-
cited and beer and cheese sandwiches
seem to fit the case. A little later,
when the orators begin to come out
into the open and shake their hair, you
AdhC CuChldllo dhu yOui eyes pCSlu "
resemble those of a Gagged rat, and you
are ready to quarrel with an opponent.
The next stage in the campaign is the
whisky stage, and when you have got
plenty of it the campaign may be said
to be open, and you wear black eyes
and lose your teeth. and you
swear strange oaths and smell OF
kerosene. and only sleep in the morn
ing. Then election comes and If your
side wins you drink all kinds Of things
at once for a week, shout hoarsely and
then go to the Kelley cure, but if your
party loses you stay home and take a
course of treatment for nervous pros
tration and say you will never mix up
in another campaign.
Here in France it Is different. The
people have nervous prostration to
start on, start a campaign on cham
payne, wind up on absinthe, and after
the votes are counted go to an insane
asylum. | do not know what first got
dad to drink absinthe and | don't know
what it is, but it looks like soap suds
tastes like seed cookies and smells like
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25
Electric Wave Clocks.

The distinguished maker of scientific
instruments in Paris, Bigourdan, has
experimentally demonstrated the prac-
ticability of operating a system of
clocks by wireless telegraph signals.
The method, he claims, would be both
simpler and cheaper than the present
system, which requires the use Of un-
foreground wires. The new plan uses
a central clock, operating every second
an electric contact which ~actuates an
oscillator. The signals are Transmits
ted to the receiving clocks from an ele-
waited mast. With the aid of a chrono-
graph band, and recording pen the sig
mails can be read within two one-hun-
dredths Of a second. The experiments
were made over a distance of one mile
and q fifth, which might be increased
Youths Companion.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25
BIGGEST YEAR OF EXPORTS
Over $11,ooo,ooo Greater Than for
Any Similar Period in the
Country's History.

The export record of the United
States in the II months ending with Oc-
tober, 1904, just presented by the de-
partment of commerce and labor
through its bureau of statistics, is espe-
cially noteworthy in view of the fact
that despite the unusually small exports
of breadstuffs the total value of exports
Of all kinds is larger than in any pre-
ceding year ending with the date above
named, states the Washington Star.
The exports of breadstuffs in the ten
months ending with October are less
than half in value those of the corre-
spending period of 1903 or 1902, and only
one-third as much as in the correspond
ing period of 1901 or 1899. Yet, despite
the fact that the value of breadstuffs ex-
ported falls 1856, 900. 900 below the record
for the corresponding period of last
year and $158, 900 900 below the record
for the corresponding period of 1901, the
total value of all merchandise exported
in the IL months ending October, 1904.
is $50. 900 900 greater than in the cor
ltDDOIuluS pei lOu VI ldol yCuIy anu GA
ceeds by nearly 10000, 900 the largest
total ever known in a II months period
ending with October.
This remarkable fact, that despite a
loss of from $S6, 900, 900 to $15S, 0OO, 900
in exports Of one group of articles, the
grand total of exports exceeds that Of
any preceding year, is accounted for
chiefly by a corresponding growth in the
expectation of manufactures as a group
and raw cotton.
Among the articles grouped by the bu-
reau of statistics under the general term
of manufactures, iron and steel manu-
features show for the nine months for
which a record is already at hand $780,
900, 900 increase over the corresponding
period of the preceding year; copper an
increase of $23, 900, 900 and mineral oil
an increase Of about $40, 900, 900, while in
most other manufactured articles the
figures for 1904 show little change al
compared with those of the Immediately
preceding year.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25
Cure for Trouble.

There Is no better way OF forgetting
ones troubles than by attempting to
relieve some n else who is in trouble
The more n thinks of his own troubles
the more power over him those troubles
gain. When he is turned away for a
time from himself in the effort to hell
another, personal troubles may perish
from lack of attention and ~sustenance
However hard our W case may BIZ
there is some n near to us whose case
is harder. In ministering to him, or il
trying to give him comfort, we are likely
TO tighten his burden and our own.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25

Sunday school teacher, and he felt as
though he was being misunderstood in
France. We told him the only way to
get out of Jail was to say he was a
crowned head from Oshkosh, travelling
incog, and when he began to stand on
his dignity and demand that a mes
senger be sent for the president of
France, to apologize for the treatment
he had received, the jailer and police
begged his pardon and we dressed him
up in his new clothes and got him out,
and we went to the Eiffel tower to get
some fresh air.
l suppose you have seen pictures Of
the Eiffel tower, on the advertisements
of breakfast food in your grocery, but
you can form no idea of the height and
magniticence of the tower by studying
advertisements. You may think that
the pictures you see of world events on
your cans Of baked beans and maple
syrup and soap, give you the benefit of
foreign travel, but it does not. You
have got to see the real thing or you
are not fit to even talk about what you
think you haveseen. Yourememberthat
Ferris wheel at the Chicago worlds
fair, and how we thought it was the
greatest thing ever made of steel, so
high that it made us dizzy to look to
the top of it, and when we went up on
the wheel we thought we could see the
world, from Alaska to South Africa,
and we marveled at the work of man
and prayed that we be permitted to get
down off that wheel alive, and not be
spilled down through the rarified Chi
cago atmosphere and fattened on the
pavement so thin we would have to be
scraped up off the pavement with a
case knife, like a buckwheat cake that
sticks to the griddle.
You remember, old man, how you
cried when our sentence to ride in the
Ferris wheel expired, and the jailer of
the wheel opened the cell and let us
out, and you said no n would ever
get you to ride again on anything that
you couldn't jump out of If it baked, or
you got wheels in your head and
chunks of things came up to your Ad-
ANS apple End choked you. Well, cross
my heart, if that Ferris wheel, that
looked so big to us, would make a main
spring for the Eiffel tower. That tower
is higher than a kite, and when you
get near it and try to look up to the
top, you think it is a joke, and that
really no n actually goes up to the
top of it. You see some flies up around
the top of it, and when the guide tells
you the flies crawling around there are
men and women, you think the guide
has been drinking.
But dad and and the guide paid u
money, got into an elevator and began
to go up. After the thing had been 60
ing up awhile dad said he wouldn't 60
up more than a mile or so at first, and
asked the man to let him off at the
3,000-foot level, but the elevator man
said dad had got to take all the degrees
and dad said: Let her went" and
after an hour or so we got to the top.
Gee! but | thought dad would fall
dead right there, when he looked off
at Paris and the world beyond. The
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25

to a potent-ate. and so when we got
to the jail dad had to be rescued from
his wives, and they we're driven into a
side street by the police, and dad was
locked up to save his life. The re-
porter and | went to the jail to get
him out, but We had to buy a new suit
of clothes for him, as everything was
torn of him in the Mormon rush. Dad
was a sight when we found him in
jail. and he thought his bones were
broken, and he wanted to know what
was the cause of his sudden popularity
with the fair sex. and | told him it all
came from his looking so COMPOUNDED
distinguished and his flirting with
women. He said he would swear he
never looked at one of those women in
a tone of voice that would deceive a
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25

vermiIuge. But it gets there just the
same and the result of drinking it is
about the same as the result of drink
ing anything in France-it makes you
want to hug somebody.
AT home when a man get full on
whisky, he wants to hug the man he
drinks with and weep on his collar,
and then hit him on the head with a
bottle; but here every kind of drink
puts the drinker in condition to want
to hug. Dad says he never knew he
had a brain until he learned to drink
absinthe, but now he can close his eyes
and see things worse than any mince
pie nightmare, and when we go out
among people he never sees a man at
all, but when a woman passes along,
dads eyes begin to take turns wink
ing at them and 1t is all | can do to
keep him from proposing marriage to
every woman he sees.
thought l would break him of this
woman foolishness, so | told everybody
dad was a Mormon bishop, and had a
grand palace at Salt Lake City, and
owned millions of gold mines and tab
ernacles and wanted to marry a thous-
and women and take them to Utah and
place them at the head of homes of
their own, and he would just call once
or twice a week and leave bags of gold
for his wives to spend. A newspaper
reporter, that could talk English, wrote
a piece for a paper about dad wanting
to marry a whole lot and he said life
in Utah was better than a Turkish har-
EN-, cause the wives of a Mormon bish-
op did not have to be locked up and
watched by unix, but could flirt and
blow in money and go out to dances
and have just as much fun as though
they lived in Newport, and had got
divorces from millionaires, and he said
any woman who wanted to marry a
Mormon bishop could meet dad on the
bullyvard near a certain monument. on
a certain day.
| was on to 1t, with the reporter. and
we hired a carriage and went to the
bullyvard, just at the time the news
paper said and | put a big red badge on
dads breast, with the word bishop on
1t, and dad had been drinking absinthe
and he thought the badge was a kind
Of sign Of nobility. Well, you'd sdide
to see the bunch Of women that were
there to meet dad. Whats the matter
here?" said dad, as he saw the crowd
- r,n 1oAIfr~ liko 49,. -.---
there in answer to an advertisement
for nurses. told dad to stand up in
the carriage, like Dowie does in Chi
cago, and hold out his hands and say:
"Bless you, my children" and when
dad got UP to bless them, the reporter
and | got out Of the carriage, and the
reporter, which could talk French, said
for all the women who wanted to be
Mormon wives to get into the carriage
with the bishop and be sealed for life.
Well, sir, you'd a thought it was a
remnant sale! More than a dozen got
into the carriage with dad, and about
400 couldn't get In, but when the scared
driver started up the horses, they all
followed the carriage, and then the
mounted police surrounded the whole
bunch and moved them off towards the
police station, and dad under the wag-
on load OF females, each ose trying to
get the nearest to him, SO as to be his
favorite wife.
It got noised around that a foreign
potent-ate had been arrested with his
whole harem for conduct u~nbecoming
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25

woman on the pavement, csdse II
seemed to me you couldn't tell which
was fat woman and which was man,
l never saw such a change In a
man as there was in dad, after he
got his second wind and got his
voice working. He looked like a
man who had made up his mind to
lead a different life and begin right
there. There vas a Salvation Army
man and woman in the crowd and dad
went up to them. He took out a five
dollar bill and put 1t in the tambourine
of the lassie, and said 10 the man and
woman: Now, look a here, I want to
join your church. and ii you have got
the facilities for giving me the degrees,
you can sign me as a Christian right
now. have been a bad man, and new
er thought | needed the benefits of re-
ligious training, but since l got up
here, sc near Heaven, in an elevator
which | will bet $40 will break and
kill us all before we get down to Paris,
| want you to prepare me for the here
AFTER QUICK.
Some of the other fellows laughed at
dad, and the Salvation Army people
looked as though dad was drunk, but
he continued: You can laugh and be
damned, but I'll never leave this
place until | am a pious man, and you
Salvation Army people have got to en-
list mt in your army, for | am scared
plum to death. Go ahead and convert
me, while we wait" The Salvation
Army captain put his hand on dads
head, the girl held out the %tambourine
for another contribution, and dad felt
a sweet peace come over him, and we
went down in the elevator and took a
hack to the hotel, and dads lips
worked as though in pain. H.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25
Climate of Mars.

Flammarion, the famous astronomer.
says of the planet MFRS: THE climate
is very mild; there are no gales. while
the atmosphere is very light, with
scarcely any clouds. The inhabitants
enjoy fine weather, the climate being
something like that of Davos Platz, in
Switzerland, dry and clear. We know
the globe of Mars perfectly; in fact,
far better than the earth"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25

flies we had seen at the top before
starting had changed to human beings,
all looking pale and scared, and the
human beings on the ground had
changed into flies and bugs, for all you
could see of a man on the ground was
his feet with a flattened plug hat some
way fastened on the ankles, and a
woman looked like a spoonful Of rasp-
berry jam dropped on the pavement,
or a splash Of current jelly moving on
the ground in a mysterious way. | do
not Know as the Eiffel tower was in
tended to act as a Kelley cure, but Of
the so people who went up with us,
half of them were so full their back
teeth were floating, including dad and
the guide. but when we got to the top
and they got a view of the awful height
to which we had come, 1t seemed as
though every man got sober at once,
and their tongues seemed to cleave to
the roof Of their mouths. ALI they could
do was to look off at the city and the
view in the distance, and choke up,
and look sorry about something.
couldn't help thinking Of what sort
of a pulp a man would be IL he fell off
the top Of the tower and struck a fat
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25
Good Reason.

Willie had been naughty, and his fa-
Their was going to whip him.
my son." he said, sternly, as,
switch in hand, he confronted the lad,
do you know why am going to whip
you?"
eyes. dad" replied the little fellow,
cts because you're bigger'n | am
L~ippircott's.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25
Giant C%onscript.

Several instances are on record of
the army draft having drawn a dwarf
to the ranks of the French army. This
year the calling out of the class has
recruited a veritable giant. The indi-
vidual in question halls from the Ro-
DEE district, and his name is Cot.
This young Goliath towers to the
height of seven feet four inches.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25
Shortest Bill.

Sir George Turner, the treasurer of
the Australian commonwealth, claims
to be the author of the shortest bill
on record. When premier Of Victoria
he introduced a bill of one clause and
five words: mo person shall smoke
opium" Yet it did not pass.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25
An ImnrovAment.

Mrs. Newed-Oh, Jack! l bought a
darling of a cook book to-day.
Viewed (uneasily)-I thought all cook
books were alike?
Mrs. Newed-So did I; but this perfect
gem gives 200 ways of entertaining
cooks, and also a great, big list Of sub
jects they're touchy about.-Brooklyn
Life.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25
Titled Ballet Girls.

( The Belgian nobility gave at the
Mobiles club, Rue Darlon, Brussels, one
of the most remarkable amateur per-
formances ever witnessed. Sixty titled
ladies performed a spectacular ballet.
The production was attended by all
aristocratic Brussels, and every lady
taking part in the ballet bore a title.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25
Giving It Straight.

"Oh, mother, such a change has come
over George!n
Didn't | warn you that he would be
mean about money!"
Its not that; but before we were
married he always took cloves or some
thing; and now he doesn't make the least
pretence!"-Brooklyn Life.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25

Limbs were badly swollen. One doctor
told me 1t would finally turn to Bright's
disease. was laid up at one time for
three weeks. I had not taken Doana
Kidney Pills o than three dayn
when the distressing aching across my
back disappeared, and I was soon on.
tirely cured"
For sale by all dealers. Price 81
cents. Foster-Milburn Co., Buf,aio.N. \,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25
London's Alphabet, Streets,

The t~horoughfare which can boast
the shortest name of any in London is
d News, in the locality of Regents
Park. 1t is the only surviving alpha
bet street,. e., streets whose names
were simply a letter of the alphabet.
Some years ago nearly every letter in
the alphabet gave its name to a thor
oughfare, but d News is the only one
which has not had its name length
ened.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25
o~verworked People

and those who are suffering from Rheu
matism, Pains, Weakness, Blood ST Nerv-
Gus disorders, Indigestion, etc., should
take Pusheck's-kuro. 1t is unquestionably
and Stomach troubles. Try it. Insist upon
your druggist always keeping Pusheck's
Kuro N hand. DR.. Pusheck, Chicago.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25
Off in the Wording.

The following notice appeared on the
notice board of a London chapel a few
days ago: Next Sunday evening Rev.
- will deliver his farewell sermon
and the choir will sing an anthem of
thanksgiving specially composed for
the occasion"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25
Easv Money!.

1t is now proposed to erect a monu-
ment to the memory of Capt. John
Smith. If all his namesakes contrib
ute something, the fund can be easily
raised.-Atlanta Journal.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25

mlco County
says: II suf
fcred with kid
ney complain
for eight years,
1t came on me-
gradually. ]
felt tired and
W Q a " a 1
short of breath
and was trou,
Bile d w + b
bloating after
EATING and nm
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25
Farm Laborers' Earnings.

The average weekly earnings, in
elusive of all allowances in kind, OF
farm laborers in the United Kingdom
are stated as follows: England, 1Ss.
3d.; Wales, It's. 3D.; Scotland, los. Sd;
Ireland, los. 11d.-London Tit-Bits.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25
Do It At Once.

That which is good to be done can
not be done too soon; and if it is neg
lected to be done early, 1t will fire.
quently happen that it will not be done
at all.-Bishop Mant.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25
English Trades Unions.

Of 271 trades unions in England,
with an aggregate membership of 57S,-
6S4, 32.55S, or five and five-eighths
per cent. were reported unemployed
at the end of March.