davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10
GLOBE SIGHTS.

LFrom the Atchison Globe.l
The man who blows his soup, eats too
fast
The fakir must have great contempt
for the people he robs.
The very young and the very old do
love to eat things with a spoon.
Which would you rather look ike:
Your mothers kin or your father'sZ
There is something mighty fascinating
about widow until you are married 70
her
No wonder people have so little re-
spect for advice: there is 50 much that
is worthless.
No man thinks he is a bore. although
he knows that many Of the other men
are.
When an oil well fails to pay, the
stockholders say: NSLet's get a new
superintendent"
we'd like to feel as good once more
as we did when we first owned horse
and buggy.
A man takes an interest in something
all his life; when he is old, it is patent
medicine.
For some reason, accepted a posi-
ton" sounds at least ten dollars a
month better than taken job"
in love that he hasn't had strawberries
to eat this spring, and doesn't know it.
When people say to you, when you
are in trouble, What can do for you %
be equally considerate, and say, Moth
ing"
Old people are expected to be patient.
in spite OF iuf1rmitiess young people are
expected to be sensible, Ia spite OF lack
Of experience.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10
1ouRNAn ENTRIES.


This is how the men are discrinaina-
ted against: You often hear 1t said tnat
necessity is the mother OF 1nFentlol'
did you ever hear anybody say any
thing about its father? He is absolute
" unknown.
The Wisconsin legislature is getting
down to real reform now: It has passed
a bill forbidding the giving of tips to
porters.
This threat Of Mae Wood to publish
Senator PIatt's letters will make sym
pathy for Plat. Did you ever know OF
a man who wouldn't get mad if he
thought his love letters were to be pub
lished2
A Topeka man has discovered to his
dismay that the anti-hold-up law
grown daughters want new Easter hats
and hold him up for the price.
It is now the open season for auto
nobilists in Illinois all the year around,
and the farmers will probably take ad-
vantage of it.
The oil belt is trying to be patient.
but it thinks the supreme court is TAX
ing a long time to put on its glasses to
look the refinery law over.
Notice to the White sox: There is al
ways room at the top-if you play well
enough.
What ST. Louis really needs is a pipe
line running over from East st. Louis.
The corporation that gets a franchise
to put it in will make a big fortune ey-
cry Sunday while Folk is governor.
The latest advices say nothing about
the Spring Poets Union striking in
sympathy with the Chicago teamsters.
Richmond P. Hobson is engaged.
What do you suppose he will say when
she asks, Am I the first girl you ever
kissed, Richmond
Here is a pointer for those who are
getting up the $4,000 club in Topeka:
The market price of votes in Albany is
$25, COO They can be had very much
cheaper than that in Topeka, just like
all other commodities.
That Wisconsin anti-tip law is weak
in one particular: It says nothing about
the tip you get on the horse that's go
ing to Win-but never does when you
put your money on him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10
JAYITAWKER JOTs.

Burr Oak comes forward this year
with a population of GIG. Two years
ago 1t had ASS.
Erie cannot understand how a town
with neither gas nor oil can have the
nerve to brag any.
The Xirwin Kansan scoops all the
other Kansas papers by the discovery
that Governor Hoch Is a ScOtchman.
Alta Vista is talking Of ineorporat-
ing. If the people want more Offices
to fight over, that is good way to
get them.
It was a mean man who sent a letter
to the young woman who runs the
Louisville Tyre and addressed it in care
of the Liar"
H. n. Boyd, who was assistant adju-
tant general under the Leedy admins
tration, is now connected with Tom
Charles Daily Freeman at Belleville.
The old Larned House, a famous old
hosiery at Larned, which was built by
Captain Henry Booth in 1873, is to be
torn down to make room for more
up-to-date hotel.
A Russell county man has a herd
of seVenty-three Shetland ponies, and
he makes a. speciality of raising them
for the market He says 1t IS no
harder to raise them than it is to raise
other horses; that they eat less and are
easier cared for, and bring as good
prices as big animals.
w. r. Smith, who runs the Garnet
Eagle, was one of the first anti-cigar-
cite crusaders in the country. While
serving as mayor of LecOmpton in
1896, when he was perhaps the young
est mayor in the country, he had an
ordinance passed forbidding the hand
ling of cigarettes or cigarette papers
by the merchants of that town.
The Great Bend Register tells this
one: The following story is told of a
farmer in a southwest Kansas county
who burns the candle at both ends
when it comes to hiring hands. He
hired a very promising young fellow
to work for him, and at 8 o'clock the
next morning called him. About if
teen minutes later the hired man went
down stairs with his grip. you amt
going to take that grip to work, are
you p asked the farmer. Nav" re-
piled the man scornfully, "but I am
going to find some place to stay all
night"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.

From the Philadelphia Record
Love in cottage isn't all cottage
pudding
The man who won't listen to reason
IS equally blind to his own interests.
Any fool can give advice but it takes
wise man to demonstrate it's value.
Sillicus-"The Russians have much
to answer for" Cynicus--Yes; I be-
lieve they are now trying to foist new
brand Of Russian cigarette on the mar
Managing Editor-''what was that
fellow kicking about2" Assistant-.iF5a
gave family reunion and a clam bake.
ana instead of The Gathering of the
Clans the compositor made If sTbe
Gathering of the Clans
First Business 84an-.eYour office boz-
seems to be a pronounced pessinisf ;,
second Business Man-''Yes: both his
grandmothers died last summer d1lrinp
the baseball season. and both Of Them
were buried on Sunday
Those who put out new inventions
Wonder why we do not b1lv them
Ihey are much like good intenfions-
Very good until you try them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10
sAIIcY No. cLEYELAND.

Ex-President Cleveland's fmpolite
nickname for women's clubs is apt to
stick. It will provoke more interest
ed kind of discussion than even Presl-
dent Roosevelt's scoring Of the dllatory
and Refinement mothers. misanthrOpic
old maids and unpatriotic bachelors.
Mr.. Roosevelt was merely scientific,
while Mr.. Cleveland was positively
saucy. and the ladies are deeply re
sentful one of them has remarked;
What does he know about race suicide
anyhow It is evident that his bit OF
witticisn comes from a man who mas
no more political ambitions to SATISFY
st. Louis Republic.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10
The Boy at the Wheel.

Sir Charles Wyndham. during his
American tour, said at a dinner in
New York:
''Dash as a manager has been a
failure, but he doesn't think himself
to blame. He lays the blame on the
times, on bad aetors, poor plays. and
inappreciative public, and 50 on
Like too many of us, he doesn't know
when he goes wrong.
TOO many of us" continued the
veteran actor, resemble the boy at
the wheel.
This boy stood on the bridge of
a schooner beside the captain on a
starry night. It suddenly became
necessary for the captain to go below.
and he said to the boy:
q Here, take the wheel. I'll be
back in a few minutes. Steer by that
star and you viii be all right
1.-THE boy began to steer the boat
and soon he got her out of her course
The star now appeared astern instead
of ahead. He shouted down to the
captain:
" Hi, skipper. come up and find US
another star. I've passed that one, -
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10
A Brave Official.

A Mississippi sheriff held up g. mob
a few weeks ago and prevented an
Illegal execution of a prisoner in his
charge. Armed men demanded a sur
render OF the creature in the officers
keeping. They came by night, with
the intention of committing a felony.
The sheriff was shot for resisting the
miscreants, but they were terrorized
by their own murderous act and fed
without securing the prisoner. The
sacrifice of the sheriff has served to
arouse Mississippi against the mob,
and has served to show that common
wealth the evil of the mob spirit. The
sheriff was a brave man. He pre-
ferred death to a violation of his trust.
A few such officers, possessed of a
full sense of their duty as officers OF
the law, could break forever the long,
black, bloody reign of the mob.-Seat-
tie Post-Intelligencer
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10
REFLECrIoNs OF A BACHELOR
rFrom the New York Press.l

From the New York Press
It's a terribly monotonous job being
good just for the fun of it
Some people are so lucky they can't
even get engaged without having 1t
broken.
Even the man who knows how
hard it is to pick the winner in a
horse race acts as If it was too easy
to pick a wife
It is awful nice the way women can
run in ribbons where nobody is ex-
pected to see them in such way that
YOU can't help seeing them.
Generally you. can tell when girl lis IS
thinking about boys by the way sns pr
tends to be thinking about her music les
son
A woman has an idea that If her hus-
band didn't smoke she could scarcely
want to 90 to heaven for q better place
than where shs Isl
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

Here is another blow at the personal
liberty of the small boy: on and after
May 1 cigar dealers will not be able
to make a showing of big stock by
piling UP empty cigar boxes in their
stores. The internal revenue depart
ment win require the destruction OF
cigar boxes as soon as they are
emptied. The boxes can neither be
kept, sold or given away. Just think
Of Young America not being allowed to
20 around and beg empty cigar boxesi
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10
NE WAR Is OVER.

Forty years ago, or even 20 years ago,
who would have ventured to predict
that F'itz-Hugh Lee would die q gen
eral officer on the retired list OF the
United states arny2 Surely the war
is over even though an occasional
family Jar may momentarily ruffie the
serenity of the sisterhoOd of states
Chicago Chronicle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

More sod is being broken this season
than for years. Hundreds of acres OF
prairie have been plowed in every d.
rection. The demand for men and teams
is still beyond the supply at $3.50 per
acre.-Bucklin News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10
MIR. WARE,s SERENITY.

Eugene Ware seems to be perfectly
serene under the charge that while pen
sion commissioner he looted the pension
appropriation of quarters of a
million dollars in favor of the old sol
diers=Clay Center Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

Erie has man who works down town
he gets up bright and early, and washes
up all the dirty dishes that have stack
ed up on him during the week. before
he calls his wife We would like to.
know If there are any others.-Erie
Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

Speaker Stubs win now take of his
hat and bow to himself. Listen to this
from the Chicago News: New York
would do well to import its legislatures
from Kansas and its governors from
wisconsin for a time"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

This is to warn Rojestvensky that
Christmas is coming and if he doesn't
make better time than he has been do
ang in the last three weeks. the VIadi-
wostok harbor viii again be blockaded
with ice before he gets in.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

Il was too much of a good fellow"
explains the defaulting treasurer of
san Francisco. Did you ever hear of a
defaulter who wasn't a good fellow.
OF course not. The defaulter and en-
bezzler is always a e. f.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

An Atchison young man went with"
a girl from the country a few times.
The father concluded that the young
man was taking up too much of the
girls working time, and he told the
young man he must do a certain amount
of blowing to make up for it.-Hiawatha
World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

Alderman Hamburger. a New York
alderman. has been in Office only three
years. but he has married six thousand
people. He must have a special pull
with CIpid
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

Another advantage Of living in Kan
sas is that the legislature here doesn't
stay in session for five or six months,
as it does in Illinois, New York, and
some other states.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

After the training he has been
through during the past three months.
Senator La Toilette ought to be in
good trim for the railroad fight in the
United States senate.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

Governor Hanly Of Indiana saws he
has never seen the inside of a saloon
And he is coming to Topeka Just too
late to see the inside of any Kansas
5oints--unless the jointists are willing
to take pretty long chances.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10
oUARRELsOME PEACE.

Peace has done more talking than in
all the years when it had the floor it.
self It is only when War makes noise
that Peace stirs itself. The truth seems
to be that Peace is contentious ana can
only keep awake when it is quarrellng'
st. Louis Republic.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10
OF COURSE.

A little sprinkle of rain will keep some
people from going to church, but a tor
nado with a tail to 1t wouldn't keep
some people from going to a party or a
theater--Yates Center News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10
Old FASHIONED IDEA.

Governor Folk Of missouri says the
law is going to be enforced as long as
it is law and he has power to enforce
it. Evidently he has the old-fashioned
idea that that Is what the law is for
Duluth Evening Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

Gas Rate Bill. a noted Illinois char
acter, has had a hard time keeping
alive at Springfield during the closing
hours Of the Illinois legislature. but Bill
hnally made it and is now pronounced
put OF danger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10
HORRORS AT CHICAGO.

We hope the people Of warsaw are
making earnest efforts to refrain from
being shocked at the news from Chi
cago.-Chicago Record-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

It must at least be conceded that Cas-
tro has shown enough modern states
manship to start LOOMS and Bowen
pulling hair.-Detreit Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

The car is said to be filling positions
IN his army with his friends said to
be- is used advisedly, for it's a wise
car who knows his own friends these
Tavya
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

The government ran $4,000, 600 behind
last month. That is worse than the En-
terprise did and it is not managed by
Enterprise
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10
How DOES HERBERT KNOW?

DR.. GLADDEN., who despises Rockefel-
ler's money, seems to have some knowI-
edge OF stacked cards and loaded dice.
mat sort of information can only be
had at cost--Hiawatha World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10
KANSAS COMMENT.
A QUESTION or DOUGH

The divorce question might be nearer
a solution If every young woman was
taught now to make bread and every
young man taught how to furnish the
dough.-McLouth Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

The establishment of fifteen new
FuraI routes in Usage county is mixing
Np mail matters so that few people are
sure OF their postodice addresses.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

VIII it really be necessary to ask the
Chicago strike leaders for a permit to
enable the president of the United
States to ride through the streets Of
the western metropolis in safety?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

Germany names Mr.. Tincanza as It's
member Of the board of consulting en-
gineers for the Panama canal This
will be a happy selection for the other
engineers when it Is decided that the
time has come to rush the GROWER
Minneapolis Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

The Omaha police are beginning to
suspect that ghosts are real after all,
since Pat Grove turned up in an
Omaha newspaper Office and then sud
denly dropped out of sight again.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

Of Princess Charles of Denmark it is
said that she can bind a book, steer a
boat, pull an oar, knit a stocking, take
a photograph, play chess and speak five
languages.-New Bedford Standard.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

The great danger Of this open door
policy in the far east is that China and
Japan may put the door on these new
patent hinges that swing both ways.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

George Gould has cut out saloons
from his railway stations. but the rail-
way sandwich Of the vintage Of 's4 will
continue undisturbed.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10
FROM OTHER PENS.
THEN N sOUORMED.


There was once an old angleworm
Who said: During the heated torn
I will lie low and wait
Till men stop digging bait;
Ny intention to do this is form. p"
Houston Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

Oklahoma is now sweet sixteen and
one OF the greatest peach countries in
ahe world. Oklahoma seems bent on
becoming the peach OF the Union
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

Maybe Togo is giving Rojestvensky a
chance to burn up his surplus supply
of coal before engaging him in battle.
And then again. maybe Togo doesn't
want to fight at all.-Carthage Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

The Russians are beginning to believe
Ghat Togo is afraid to fight Perhaps
Ehat IS part OF Togo's strategy
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

ST. Louis is making a fuss now about
the rain. st. Louis wants it wet"
but not in that way.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10
ONE on THE BEEF TRUST.

Clark exposition held a dog feast in
Oregon last month. The guileless say
age is independent OF the beef trust
even when he invades the realms OF
eivlization.-W ashingfon Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

During one of my trips through
Europe" says Charles Hawtrey, Il
found myself in a small village with
no razors. They had been packed in
my handbag, which 1 had left at the
hotel where I had stayed the day be-
fore. There was no barber shop in
the places and was in a quandary as
to how I might get shaved. The inn
keeper told me that there was a man
in the village who occasionally shaved
people. and I determined to risk a cut
or two and send for him. The amateur
barber arrived and after a little hesita-
ton he said to me:
win you please. sir, lie down fat
on your back while 1 shave you, sir %
Thinking that it was probably the
custom of the country, I stretched out
comfortably on my back and nearly
went to sleep while the fellow shaved
me. so light was his touch. When he
had finished I said:
Z am curious to know why you
asked me to lie down to be shaved p
g Because, sir was his ingenious
reply, I never before shaved a live
man
II may add that sent for no more
amateur BARRIERS to shave me during
my trip. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10
ANn THEN some.

Mr.. Carnegie has $3oO,OOO,0OO left-not
counting the interest that has accumu-
lated during the writing Of this state
ment.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

Nor is the Chicago situation simpli-
fed by the revelation that the strikers
are striking against what most of them
voted for.--Kansas City Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

If Professor Osler had only remained
in this country he could have got him
self pensioned of instead of being
chloroformed.-St. Joseph News-Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10
NEWS FROM HENVILLE.

Something went wrong in the Balder-
son chicken harem last week and two
ROSTERS died Of heart failure.-Louis-
vile Tyre.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

Admiral Dewey says he gets up at
o'clock to read the war news He got
up once a little earlier than that to
make the war news.-Kansas City
Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

The Lyndon Herald comes TO the de-
tense Of the 10000 or more Santa Fe
employees who did not rise as did Mr..
Nudge and Mr.. Hurley. Opportunity
IS the great key. to success in any walk
in life.' it says. Which may be true
but the really successful man is gen
orally an adept at making his oppor-
funiies, and he doesn't loaf much when
one happens along.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

Banker Bigelow all but succeeded IN
breaking into the exclusive Cassie
Chadwick circle of hnaneiers.-St. Jo-
seph Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

Isn't it amazing that nearly 100000
people consent to live in Chicago. when
they could get away if they desired to
do so kansas City Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

Our knowledge we can teach thee. child
Just as we now do teach
Thy little lips to form the first
Faint sysle blcs of sYLech.
hut tion hast that surprising all
The wisdom we impart:
Anu would that thau ccGId'st teach to US
Thine innocence of heart
New Orleans Thnts-DemocraN
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

Illinois has a new law requiring all
automObilists to slow down when
riding through localities where the
houses are less than one hundred feet
apart. Hereafter automobilists in iii
nois win have to carry tape lines and
get out every now and then and meas.
ure the distance between the houses.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

The worst education that teaches
self-denial is better than the best that
teaches everything else and not mat
u. Sterling.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

AS If they didn't have troubles
enough already, the city fathers Of
New York are already worrying over
the prospect of a water shortage in
that city 20 years from now.-Kansas
City World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

Reports from the country on the
fruit are not reassuring. A big portion
of it was evidently injured by the re-
cent cold SPELL The cherries and pears
are dropping badly and the apples are
injured-wiped out in some orchards.
Springfield Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

The Indiana police court news
makes it appear that it is more dan
gerous to smoke a cigarette than to
participate in a lynching in that en-
lightened state.-Ohio state Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-10

When Grover attacked woman and
her suffrage aspirations he forgot that
that sprightiy young thing, Susan B.
Anthony. has escaped OslerizatiOn.-
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.