River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-10

In the ground, and the stock had been
offered for one cent share, the par
value being hundred dollars, SO man
who got share for cent would, when
the mine got to paying, get hundred
dollars for every cent he invested.
Dad filled out one of the stock certif-
Gates for 1000, 900 shares, which would
represent a capital equal to all the
debts of Turkey, and we went before the
sultan, and we couldn't have been
treated better if we had owned a brew
cry. Dad told his story to the sultan,
through an interpreter, while looked
around at the gorgeous surroundings
and tried to think of something to do
to wake them UP.
Dad said he came right fresh from the
American people, and was authorized
by his mining company to present the
sultan with untold millions, for pure
love of the Turkish people, whom they
had seen riding and leading camelS at
the Chicago worlds fair, and dad pro-
duced the stock certificate for 100000
shares of stock in the Golden Horn
Gold Mining and Smelling company,
and took out handful of $40 dollar
gold pieces and showed them to the
crowd as specimens of gold that came
from our mine.
He said our people did not expect any
thing in return, but just desired the
good will of the Turkish empire. He
said that President Roosevelt desired
him to present his warmest regards to
the sultan, and to invite him to visit
America, and ii he would consent to do
so, an American war vessel would be
furnished for him and the white house
would be turned over to him for his
harem, and dad said the president
wanted him particularly to impress
upon the sultan that if he came he must
bring his folks, all his wives that would
De apt to size up for beauty with our
American women.
Well, you ought to have seen that
sickly looking sultan brace up when
dad handed him the millions of mining
stock, and he grabbed the paper like an
old clothes buyer would grab dress suit
that a wife had sold for 60 cents, belong
ing to her husband. He also wanted to
see the gold that dad had shown as COM
ing from the mine, and when dad
showed him the yellow boys he took
them as souvenirs and put them in his
girdle, and then l thought dad would
faint, but he kept his nerve like poker
player betting on bobtail flush.
The sultan asked so many questions
about America that l was afraid dad
would get all balled up, but he kept his
nerve and lied as though he was on the
witness stanu trying to save his life.
Dad told the sultan he was authorized
by the American people to inquire into
the industries of Turkey, and what he
particularly desired was an insight
into the harems, as a national insti-
tuition, because many American people
we're gradually adopting the customs
Of the orient, and he desired to report
TO congress as to whether we should
adopt the customs of Turkey, with her
dried prunes and dates with worms
in, and her altar of roses made of pigs
lard; her fez, to cure badness, and her
outlandish pants and peaked red Mo-
rocco shoes, and her harems.
The sultan said he would like to
show us a little bunch of the
cream of the harem, who would do
a stunt in the way of dancing, to cele-
brate the good feeling of the American
people, and the visit of the distinguish
ed statesman and gold miner to his
realm, and dad said the sultan couldn't
turn his stomach with no cream of
the harem, only they must keep their
hands off him, and the sultan promised
he should be as safe as unique"
whatever that is.
Dad and / had hired knee breeches
and things of masquerade ball store,
and we didn't look half bad when the
crowd of shieks and things formed
crescent around the sultan, who sat in
a sort of BARRIERS chair with an avn
ing over it, and they sounded hew
gag or something, and about dozen
pretty fine looking females, dressed like
the ballet in a vaudeville show. came