davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30

The emperor of Korea did not pro-
pose TO Miss RooseveIt-at least it is
not known that he did-but he gave
her his photograph, which is almost as
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30

". Y. Morgan continues to assert
that he is not a candidate for con-
gress. If he doesn't look out he may
be drafted.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30
A DRAWBACK.

The worst drawback about the pro-
posal to hold a semi-centennial cele-
bration in the state is that Kansas can
never convince the world that she is
that old.-Ottawa Herald.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30

We are to have a coal strike next
year, but we don't need to worry about
st just yet. There are plenty of other
things to supply the worry demand.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30

Colonel Watterson Indignantly de-
mics that he is a colonel. All, beg
pardon, General Watterson.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30
TIP.

The other forty-three states of the
union may follow the example of Wis
eonsin and New York in anti-tip Iegis-
lation. but the tipping will go on un-
til the tipper realizes his selfishness or
his cowardice.-Chicago Chronicle.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30
THE GOOD OLD DAYS.

Mr.. Cleveland will not talk about
campaign funds. Thus does the list of
those who could but won't add to the
political knowledge of the nation in
crease. In 1892 the Democrats had a
big campaign fund and "felt good. .
Those os them who are still in politics.
looking back over the dark and dreary
waste that separates them from that
pleasant time, let their memories dwell
fondly on 1892 as a period when the land
flowed with milk and honey sent forth
in Quantities to suit from New York
Boston Transcript.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30
A Precoelous Youngster.

While chatting with friends on the
deck of the American line steamship
Merton shortly before her arrival in
port last Sunday, prominent teacher
in the public schools of this city told
an amusing story of precocious young
ster whom she had the fortune or mis-
fortune to, teach shortly after her grad
uation from normal school. The child
had never attended school before and
had little idea of discipline.
Carefully and patiently the teacher
endeavored to train him in the right
direction, but without success. He sim
ply would not learn to obey.
Some of his remarks. upon being
corrected, were laughable," she said to
her listeners, land you can imagine
with what difficulty I kept my discipline
at all. One day little Clarence came
into the room after recess with large
piece of chewing gum in his mouth
After tapping the bell and restoring
order called out the boys name.
" Clarence Brown I said in a firm
voice, give me that gum
Nope said the youth, as he pulled
the gum out in long string and grace
| fully placed it back in his mouth, but
I'll give you half. '"-Philadelphia Bull
letin.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30
CoMRAnE KELLY.

Tom Kelly made a speech at an old
soldiers reunion last week in a south
ern Kansas town in which he roasted
the governor to beautiful brown. But
why was Tom Kelly invited to speak
at an old soldiers reunion? He is not
an old soldier and has never had any
connection with soldiers or the army
Is it possible that the old soldiers who
get to the front nowadays and man
age reunions have a soft nIace in their
affections for man who will loot the
treasury and help himself to coupons
that belong to the public schools of the
state ?-Holton Recorder.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30

MiIwaukee's Mayor Rose is also in
tsroubIe.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30
ER0M OTHER PENS
STUMPED BILL

Wonder what "Our Teddy will do
next. He stumoed the kaiser on the
submarine. and he is likely to set a
merry pace sor the strenuous man of
Europe almost any day.-Minneapolis
Times.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30
WARM TIME. COMING.

Everything points to a great football
season. Harvard already has three
players in the hospita1.-Fort Scott
Republican.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30

with the assistance of Providence and
the fall-time chills,'' says a Georgia ed
itor we're going to give the town a good
shaking up.''-Atlanta Constitution.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30

-sWhat makes Bliggins so anxious to
serve on the grand jury? didn't regard
him as a very conscientious man.
He isn't. He's financially ambitious.
He wants to get familiar with all the de-
tails of how some of these magnates got
their money" Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30

DO you believe that education promotes
moraIity?" asked the inqoisitiye person.
'sUndoubtedly,', answered the cheerful
idiot; ''at least it is responsible for more
intelligent class of criminals. .'-Cnicago
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30

Rodney-why do you automobile men
wear goggles?
Sidney~ff I tell you, you'll tell.
Rodney-Never; honor bright
Sidney-WelL it's to hide that scared
look in our eyes.-Harper's Bazar
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30

Brown--Did you say, sir. 1 could lie as
fast as a horse could trot?
Black-No, sir; 1 simply said few horses
can trot as fast as you can lie.
Brown-Ohi-Boston Transcript.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30
Radiu1n as Medicine.

Great times, these. Hard work to
keep up with procession Must do IT,
though. Seen ''the latest thing in
medicine?" Radium rays, x-rays, all
other rays from A to lizard that have
been or may be discovered, are to be
stirred up, to mix and mingle and
blend" with medicines. Two X-rays
pellets for an adult just before going
10 bed One radium tablet before
each meal. Well welll as the famous
New York baseball "fan," the man
with the loudest voice in the world. is
wont to howl to the reverberant skies;
what times are these. Wouldn't the
rays from cucumber sunshine be found
of great therapeutic value in cases
of cholera morbus with the Pro-
cession,'' Everybody's Magazine for
October.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30
Enlancipated.

The mistress of a certain uptown
boarding house is noted among her
boarders as much for her entertaining
conversationai powers as for the fne
table she SETS Nevertheless she is
something of a Mrs. Malaprop, and oc-
casionally severely tries the politeness
of her listeners by the peculiar
ssbreaksss she makes. They had won1-
an under discussion at the table the
other night, some of the boarders ex-
pressing a preference for slender fig
lres and some favoring embonpoint-
sJ like a good plump woman, said the
br,a riding house mistress; none of
these thin emancipated women for
me.'-PhfIadelphia Record.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30

Some chilIun,' said Uncle Eben, learn
to talk befo' dey is 2 years old, but
mighty few of 'em learns to say anything
wuf listenin' to by de time dey is 5o.''-
Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30

ITO what do you attribute your pae-
nomenaI sfIccess?" asked the medical stu
dent.
ITO my ability in mastering the art of
concealing my ignorance, answered the
observation-disclosures News
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30

WHOM do your two little boys resem-
BILE. Mrs. F1itter?"
ssWell, the homely boy looks like his
father and acts like me; and the pretty
one looks like me and acts like his fath-
er.''-Life.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30

Remember said the serious friend,
that you are servant of the people,.
Yes answered Senator 5crghEm. Ihe
trouble is t;lat nowadays you are expect
ed to serve The people without accepting
any tips, s,'-Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30

Your sudden marriage to Mr.. Sappy,'
said the ex-widow's friend, surprised
nc"
II reckon it SURPRISED him ALSO" replied
the bride, with a smile.-Houston Post
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30
,-oh." shrieked the listeners.

The philosopher went to the cedar
chest and dragged from it. piece b.
piece, the gray bathing suit, red zap
and-well, the touch Of color in the
scheme.
.It has never been wet, am relieved
to see" said Theresa.
81 was saved lust in time" said the
philosopher, ''by putting on the snit
at home. Our artist friend was with
me- OF course, she is offended because
7 spoiled the picture this suit would
make in the frothy green water if I
would only wear it."-Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30

You must change this ending" said the
theatrical manager. Il want a play that
ends happily
''All right replied the obliging dram
atist s'1'li have my hero and heroine di-
vorced in the last act."-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30

The New Cook (suspiciously)-Ar yez
sure | never wur-rked FIR yez before2
Mrs Subton (nervously)-I-1-1 don
think So Miss Hogan;-but my memory Is
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30

Niece-will you ever feel your age, aun-
tie?
Aunt-No my dear, not while the con-
ductors continue to address me as miss
Chicago Record-HeraId.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30

FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30

The bard seven ages gives man.
A woman has but three
Her real age, what folk say she lss !
And what she claims to be.
Washington Post.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30

Benevolent Lady-Now, mind that you
don't go and spend that at the first public
house you come to.
Disreputable old Pauper-You bet |
won't mum You means the Spotted
Dog" Not me. You're good judge, you
are. I'm for the Green Duck" further
on / agrees with you-the Spotted Dog
amt no class at all.-Punch.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30

New Cook-So's me own: but iv 1 find
I've been brought here under false prl-
tinces it won't be well f'r yez, mind that!-
Puck
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30

gwen tainted money is beginning to
talk these days"
necessarily as an evidence OF good faifn-
Baltimore American.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-30

Teacher-Temmy, when was Rome ouaatf
Tommy-In the night.
Teacher-How came you to make suca
mistake?
not built in a day.-School Board Journal.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-10-03
COOPERATION AMONG FARMERS.
Difficulties Opposing the Application
of a Pet Theory.

Detroit Free FTess.
Among other recommendations made at
the recent session OF the National Farmers
congress was that Of a campaign of educa-
ton among agriculturists in behalf Of CO.
operative selling to the end that profitable
prices may be obtained on all farm prod
ucts. The logic employed in reaching this
conclusion was bit difficult to accept. It
was asserted that to prevent the surplus
in American farm products from going on
the European market at such low prices as
to prevent the European farmers from SELL
ing their products in competition with ours
thus starving them and resulting the es-
tablishing abroad OF tariff walls
against American farm products, which
would cut OF foreign markets, 1t was neces-
sary that better prices be obtained at home.
To the urbanite the desirability OF an ad-
vance In the price Of farm products fails
to appeal. He is already paying literally
for what he gets, but that is not neces-
sarily the fault of the producer The mid
dlemen all come in for their share Of the
profits, and by the time an article has
found its way into the home its cost has
increased at a startling rate.
Cooperative marketing has Dong been a
pet theory with agriculturists. yet It is no
nearer realization now than It was a decade
ago. The obstacles TO be overcome are
many. The diversified interests represented
present seemingly insurmountable bar
rier One farmer is DESTROYS Of disposing
Of certain crop. while his neighbor may
prefer holding for better prices. The near
est market may be well supplied. while a
| few miles further the demand is strong
To sell to the former would mean a saeri-
fee possibly; 10 invade the latter would be
to engender the enmity of those who looked
upon 1t as their legitimate feld and who
| would resent the tendency to bear the mar
ket by flooding IT, The farmer has many
| problems to contend with, but that OF CO.
operative selling is one OF the knottiest
| That a solution will be forthcoming some
day is more than possible, but TO date prog
ress has not been OF a nature to inspire any
| vast degree Of enthusiasm.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-10-03
THE RELIGION of DUTY.
"Human Beings Are But the Facets of
the JeweI-Humanity."

HNllA AultT III mcclure g..
We need the conviction that this world is
not colossal loom on which the shuttle of
chance weaves the garment of unreason
and despair; that our ideals are not mere
wishes, with no surety Of fulfllment: but
that at the heart of things there is that
which will make them real
The greatest human beings are but facets
of the jewel-Humanity
1t is time that we put away from US this
much of religious sentiment, and ceased to
be content with vague and blurred outlines
OF thought on the greatest of all subjects.
while we demand distinctness in every
other The cleaning up OF ones ideas is as
important, as a matter OF ethical SANTA
ton, as the cleaning up of the house in
which we dwell is part OF external sani-
tatton.
II we put aside the materialistic explana-
tions OF morality and see the majesty, the
inexplicable augustness of it. we shall find
that, in the moral life itself, IN the moral
experience itself, we possess religion.
In the worship the soul is born; the daily
task is the anvil on which one must beat
out his selfhood.
Even philanthropist may lose more than
he gains IT, as sometimes occurs. he resorts
to improper methods in order TO compass
the good end.
One cannot get a religion by merely try
ing to think out the problems of the uni
verse. 1t is a mistake to approach
the subject of religion from the point of
view of the intellect.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-10-03
PRIVATE CAR LINE HEARING.

According to present arrangement,
the Interstate Commerce commission
will two weeks hence begin hearing in
regard to the private car lines. A good
deal of interest, both on the part Of the
public and the railroads, will be felt in
this inquiry and the result of the inves-
tigatlon will undoubtedly lie important.
AS to the main facts, they are already
pretty well known. 1t is undisputed
that the private car lines have for many
years constituted in certain respects a
monopoly for which the public has had
to pay most heavily and which has held
the railroads at it's mercy. The owners
of these car lines have dictated their
own terms to shippers and exacted what
they pleased from the railroad COM
panies and it is needless to say that
their terms have never been reasonable.
Regarding themselves as entirely indie
pendent of the law and outside the jur-
isdiction of the Interstate Commerce
commission, they have operated as
suited their own convenience and their
greed, Of course making enormous
profits out of the business,
While these general facts are well
known there are some details connected
with the management and business OF
the private car lines that are not known
to the public and which the hearings
before the commission are expected to
bring out Whether 1t will be possible
to get at these remains to be seen, there
being doubt as TO whether the commits
sion has authority to probe as deeply as
is desirable. In his last annual mes
sage President Roosevelt took a very
positive position in regard to the private
car lines. He declared that the abuses
for which they are responsible must lie
stopped and that they must be made
amenable to the law. In its last annual
report the Interstate Commerce commits
sion devoted a good deal OF space to the
private car system, pointing out some
OF the evils connected with it and sug-
costing remedies. 1t was the opinion OF
the commission that the private car
companies are subject to federal author.
ity and that the law regulating inter,
state commerce should be extended to
them.
1t is very probable that President
Roosevelt will again refer to these lines
in his next annual message and recon
mend legislation regarding them. Tho
commissions inquiry win give the presi
dent additional information and also AZ
ford congress further enlightenment
There is no question as 20 public sent
lment In the matter. 1t is in favor Of
Omaha daily bee., 1905-10-03
Personal NOTES.

This government is not afraid Of Morocco,
and the Sultan might as well restore his
fez to a respectful angle.
Eleven county jails in one Kansas con-
gressional district are without occupants.
Even the congressman is at large.
A wealthy woman I'm Ohio has been or
dered to pay her divoced husband SO a
week until such time as he either dies or
again marries
"One touch of nature makes the whole
world kin" When Mr.. Rockefeller lately
recalled his early tussles with the Cleve-
land banks, when he was a borrower OF
money, he wept.
Douglass Alexander, recently elected
president OF the Singer Sewing Machine
company, entered the service of the cor
poration only thirteen years ago His rise
from the bottom TO the top rung Is re-
garded as unusually rapid even in this
hustling period.
James Milliken OF Decatur. Ill, recently
announced that he would give 900 to this
university In his city bearing his namC
provided an additional 10000 would bC
raised. This has been done and nov
Mr.. Mfllken offers s.. 100000 more provided
$4,000 additional be raised by 1905.
Charles Parsons, a leading citizen OF st
Louis. who has just died, left his magnih
cent art collection, valued at $4,000, 4
Washington university. to be displayed II
a fine arts building to be erected in Fores
park, and left an additional sum Of $4,000
the income TO be used in caring for the ar
works
Omaha daily bee., 1905-10-03
STATE PRESS COMMENT.

Albion Argus (pop): Did you read the
democratic platform adopted at the state
convention? 1t is more than a few planks,
1t is great big raft, too big and cum
bersome to handle.
Grand Island Independent: 1t is to be
expected that the literary bureau OF the
railroad corporations will with all possible
emphasis declare that the recent pleas of
guilty, and the imposition of fines by the
courts, for violations of the anti-rebate law
prove that no further legislation is neces-
sary. Can you figure It out how that would
change a single discriminatory rate?
Winside Tribune: After all, an open
fusion on the state ticket would have been
far more honorable than to sneak in a
pop as one of the nominees for regent.
We can see no object, since IT is sure
defeat either way, in this dallying with a
played-out nuisance. When a bad thing
is dead 1t is best TO bury It instead OF
keeping 1t on exhibition until the stencil
becomes unbearable.
Scribner News (dem senator Willard
too, has suddenly set his sails to catch
the prevailing popular breeze. Although
elected to the senate by the railroads he
now assumes a position of antagonism to
to those corporations by advocating the
regulation of freight rates by the Inter-
state Commerce commission The senator's
position, however, is no more ludicrous than
is the action OF r. b. Schneiders SEN
atorial candidate In making a strenuous
anti-pass and anti-rebate campaign.
Butler County Press (dem.): Some news
papers seem to see joke in the fact that
in poker parlance, the democratic state
convention, saw the republican conven-
ton, so far as anti-pass resolutions
were concerned, and went 1t one better
Somehow, the agitation attracts little at
tention outside OF newspaper Offices and
platform committee councils. Nobody
seems to get mad over politics any more.
and an amused skepticism prevades the
atmosphere. Whether the voters consider
all persons rogues who talk politics we
don't know, but they act that way.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-10-03

Lobbyism is a problem near the root Of
corporate corruption, but one as dinlcult OF
attack and determination as the mole. The
problem is not approachable to legislation.
The ideal OF the public servant excludes
association with the subtle-working agent
OF corporate interests who seeks to in
fiuence legislation behind the public's back,
so to speak and 1t is to the firm establish
ment of that ideal and standard which
exacts the highest integrity of the public
servant that the people must look for
protection against this form OF corporate
iniquity. Publicity is death to lobbyism OF
this character, precisely as the sunlight
will kill the MOLE
Omaha daily bee., 1905-10-03
TAXING FRANCHISES.
Highest Court of Minnesota Amrms
the Right 20 DO So.
Mipnaapolfs To,,rpal

the Right TO DO So.
Minneapolis Journal
The influence of the work OF Henry
George on questions of taxation is real in
the world. While his single tax plan has
not commended itself to the people of this
country, many of his ideas are forcing their
way into the schemes of taxation. One of
these was the idea OF taxing franchises as
II they were visible property like lands or
buildings. In the latest developments OF tax
methods this idea has received recognition.
It stands on the tax laws of New York, and
1t is recognized indirectly in the decision of
the Minnesota supreme court in the West
ern Union case.
The direct money benefit to the state
from the back taxes this corporation will
have to pay over is a small part OF the pub
lie benefit. The future rights of the COM
monwealth are secured as the right to tax
franchises is established. To be sure the
court did not and could not say how they
should be taxed, that being left to the ad-
minstrative branch OF the government and
at present the ultimate power seems to rest
with the state board OF equalization. The
new powers of that board make its consti-
tuition OF more Importance than ever
Whether II shall be a large body Of citizens
called together once a year to perform in
a short period vital function or shall be
reconstructed as a small body of experts
continuously studying and determining the
bases of valuation is a live question, par
ticularly II the people shall ratify at the
next election the wide-open amendment
which has been submitted to them by the
legislature.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-10-03
Good Results from investigation.

WIFI bIItHI JUuIHdI
The investigation which is now going on
in regard to insurance ought to be of In
calculable value. 1t must inevitably result
in cleaner, better, more economical methods
OF administration of the life insurance COM
panies. 1t will, doubtless, lead to federal
control of life insurance, II that can be
established under the constitution, and its
control will be carried on for the better
protection of policy holders. But more
than that, the investigation promises to
throw new light upon the whole question
of the responsibilities Of trustees. Already
It promises to break down the vicious sys-
tenn of corporation contributions to political
campaign funds. and 1t will. doubtless, re-
suit in a law providing for publicity in the
United States OF the receipts and disburse-
ments of political committees.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-10-03
SEEKING INFORMATION.
Edmund Vance cooke IN Success

Edmund Vance Cooke IN Success
When / was born l wasn't nothin' but
A little baby. Was my eyes shut
Like kitty-babies? Papa, will you buy
A skitching-rope en- chatelaine-pony fer my
Birthday? En- a paint brush, too?
Wolves can't talk rilly, just like people do
Can they7 But mebby once they could
Err how the wolf say Eat choo up!' at
Ridin' Hood?
Is this tomorrow. papa? Well. why ain't
Tornorrow? Yesterday what made you say
Tomorrow'd come today? No, papa, don't
see!
why? Papal Papa, can't you bark at me?
Avn papa, ef tomorrow was today,
Does that make yesterday tomorrow SayI
En- papa, will you buy me umbrella
Wifi writin' on? Say, how could CINDERELLA
ters mad =
That used TO soon at her, er was they gladg
Why didn't she lose the other slipper on?
say, papa, will you learn me how to scoff4