New-York tribune., 1905-07-09

An English debtor on being sued admitted that
he had borrowed the money. but said that the
plaintiff knew at the time 1t was a Kathleen
Mavourneen loan"
"a Kathleen Mavourneen loan?' questioned tn,
court, with a puzzled look
That's it. your lordship-one of the 1T may be
for years, and 1t may be for ever sort"
THE TRAVELLERS DREAM.
A little room in little hotel
In little country town.
On little bed, with musty smell
A man was lying down.
great big man with great big snore-
And a peaceful look on his face he wore
For sound asleep was he.
In his dreams what marvellous trips he made.
What heaps of stun he Sold
And his orders were good gold
He smiled. and smothered a scornful laugh
For he knew no other had sold the half
OF what his order book showed.
He got this letter from, home one day
Dear Sir-We've filter term
To use in your than simply to say
Henceforth you are one of the firm"
And a glorious change, this made in his life.
He now from the road withdrew
His son. and his daughter. too
But with thump-b -bang-whang- -thump-bang!
IN The ah; boots had adj knocked at the door;
The commercials dream DER.
-CTit-Bits
What is salG TO be the oldest letter in the world
has been found in some excavations in ancient At
uca. M Wilhelm. secretary of the Austrian
Archaeological Institute, who succeeded in deciph-
ering it, asserts that Il written four centuries
before Christ. 1t is engraved on a leaden leaf
folded in two. and ii bears the outside the fol-
lowing address: 70 the porter of the market Mt
Potts. to be delivered either to Nausas or to
Thrasices to their sons" The text of the letter
is as follows; "Mnesiengos sends his greetings to
those in the house. and informs them that he is in
good health Please send a blanket or some
sheepskins, If possible. of the ordinary kind with
out ornaments AS the occasion offers
shall return them"
Acknowledgements wife used 10 be awfully stout.
and now she is quite thin What caused the
change, wonder"
Marlow-Divorce. This isn't the same wife.
-tTown and Country.
The motor boat has invaded the romantic canals
of Venice. The city of Venice has just she'd
transportation system of it's own and is operat-
ing nifty more motor boats through the canals
and lagoons. much London might operate its
own streetcars. The fare is equivalent one cent
Pa what's an entente cordiale?"
couple of fellows who haven't been the best % ~
friends decide 20 let bygones be bygones and step
Herald
The following English schoolboy 'howIers'' are
said to be genuine The Temperate Zone is the
region where drinks too much John
Wyclih the editor of The Morning Star but
afterward became refOrmer." Henry VIII was
brave eorpulent and cruel; he was frequently
married to widow. had ulcer on his leg and
great decision of character" @ Mention the
Illegal Acts of James II. A.: % The birth OF a
SON" 'The Septuagint n committee of 100
men elected to revise the poems OF Homer" THE
Provisions OF Oxford were wheat. sheep eggs etc"
The English Pale s fine ale made and much
drunk in England" A conjunction Is the place
where two railway lines meet simon de Mont
forts father was Crusader. and from him he In
herited righteousness, which very useful TO him
afterwards when he became Archbishop OF Canter-
bury"
Like Father, Like Son,-Mr. Gotrox-When 1 was
your age. sir. didn't have a dollar
Cholly Gotrox-Well. dad. when | am your age
probably won't have doar.-(Puck.