davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ordway new era., 1905-06-16
EVERYTHING CANNED.

A missionary bishop of he Episco-
pal church was in the habit of intro
ducing among the Eskimos many
things to amuse them, In order to gain
their attention to his preaching. But
these sons OF the arctic regions were
impressed by the white mans canned
food more than by anything else he
brought. One day the bishop deciued
TO spring a genuine surprise on the
natives. He had with him Il talking
machine, with records In the Eskimo
tongue. He gathered his charges All
around him In the little meeting house,
and started the machine. EVERYBODY
was puzzled. At last a smile broke out
upon the face OF one.
"Canncd white man" he SAID Ill gee.
The Ordway new era., 1905-06-16

For who brings a smile to the care-woTn
face,
And who juggles with words to tell
OF n joke new born to this world foriorus
Fashions well-nDd exceeding well.
And may be right when ] hold 70
night
And as thousands have held before:
That there's more of worth In new
Than Of wit in the wise mans lore.
So come to you with my cap and bells
with my bauble and bubbles brighf.
And a spell I'D weaye-and your hearts
relieve
OF their manifold cares tonight
For who coins laugh fiom his golden
cham
II n friend-though humble hind;
But who hides joke meath his somber
cloak
Is an enemy to mankind.
Then. n fool I'd be-and n fool remain
To the close OF the merry feast
Till the night be sped-and the old DAY
dead
And the dawn In the darkling east:
And these words alone. on my chiseled
stone,
! would have as my final wage:
10 the sad world smiled at her antio
But she wept when he left the stage!s
James Ball Nayior.
The Ordway new era., 1905-06-16
PURELY COMMERCIAL.

A prominent New York manufac-
turer of sporting goods has daughter
who, during II recent trip abroad.
made an effort to be presented at the
royal court Of Italy. After due investl.
CATION, she was refused admittance on
the ground that her father sold mer-
chandise. She cabled at once to her
father, and the next day received the
following reply: Absurd. 1t isn't
selling. At the price, they are practi.
cally given away. See catalogue"
The court attendant stretched n point
ana presented her as the daughter Of
II great philanthropist.
The Ordway new era., 1905-06-16
LADIES LACE OyERALEs."

Deyotees OF the masculine mode in
femininity may or may not be dsap-
pointed upon learning that the much
raunted English vogue OF ladies lace
overalls as holiday specialties" sounds
severer than 1t looks. Reduced to final
analysis, drop skirt is the result.
and such being the Innocent case. the
chances are that the garment In due
course will be PECULIARLY adopted by
miiady's American cousins.
At first CONSERVATION prevailed lest
something else might be intended.
The initial intelligence relative TO this
interesting subject was conveyed to n
Manhattan gentler sex fashion peri
odical by "our own correspondent" the
cablcgram reading:
"a leading West End draper Is devot-
ing his lace department TO n display
of special numbers In ladies' lace over
alls."-New York Press.
The Ordway new era., 1905-06-16
Stories of "Joe' Jefferson

acter, the ticket-of-leave man. was q.
hero instead of villain. The sue
cess of the piece was immediate and
Jefferson was the idol Of the town.
Jefferson used to tell an Interesting
story of how his father and company
were rescued from a distressing pre-
dicament in Springfield, III. Arriving
there they used the last Of their funds
in building small theater. There
was religious revival In the town..
the leaders of which not only denounc--
ed the players but persuaded the
town council to impose a heavy
license upon the 'unholy calling"
All the actors were in despair
when they were visited by a young
lawyer, who offered. in the interest OF
fair play. to have the license fee re-
duced. He appeared before the coun-
ell, and In an eloquent speech, h11So
with logic and pathos and interspers-,
ed with anecdotes which raised rosse.
of laughter, won his point, The laSuA-
year was Abraham Lincoln.
The Ordway new era., 1905-06-16
NOT SYMPATHETIC.

In the schools OF a Connecticut town
meosurcs were recently taken to test
the chlidren's eyesight. AS the doc,or
anIshed each school he gave the prih-
clpal n list of the pupils whose eyes
needed attention, and requested him TO
notify the chlldren's parents 10 'nn' e.. 81,
feet one boy brought home 10 MS
father this note from the principnl:
..xr - Dear Sir: 1t becomes my
dmtv 70 inform you TINT your son shows
decided indications Of astlgmatism'
npd Ills case Is one that should % At
The Ordway new era., 1905-06-16
FEARED TIE WORST.

Friday Vizer, n familiar negro hpou'
town in n certain part OF MISSISSIPPI
had becn found dead. and he being
member of no church or iouse-'ei!
unusual for ncgro-there was no one
to pray for his soul in the great De-
yond. A few old intimates, however
carried the body to the cemetery III
rude nine coffin, and Bob McRaven' one
Of the number. an old "bcfo' -de-wnh
dnrkey." was called upon for rev
remarks. Bob removed his hat ana
stcpped revercntly and sadly toward
the open grave, and In solemn '""e'
cal tones said: W..
"Friday vizer, you is gone. we
homes YOU is gone whar we spects you
aIn'tw-Lippincott's Magazine.
The Ordway new era., 1905-06-16
RAILROAD RATE LEGISLATION.

Testifying before the Senate Com
mittee at Washington, Interstate
Commerce Commissioner Prouty said
in discussing the proposition to give
to that Commission the power to regu-
late railway rates:
II think the railways should make
their own rates. | think they should
be allowed to develop their own busi-
ness. | have never advocated any
law, and l am not now In favor OF
any law. which would put the rate
making power into the hands OF any
commission or any court. While II
may be necessary tc do that some
time, while that is done in some
states at the present time. while 1t is
done in some countries. l am opposed
to 1t. The railway rate is
property. 1t is all the property that
the railway has got. The rest OF Its
sroperty is not good for anything un-
less 1t can charge rate. Now 1t has
always seemed to me that when
rate was fixed. II that rate was an un-
reasonable rate, II deprives the rail-
road company of Its property pro
tanto. 1t is not necessary that you
should confscate the property OF
railroad; It is not necessary that you.
should say that 1t shall not earn three
per cent or four per cent When
you put in a rate that is inherently
unreasonable. you have deprived that
company Of its rights. Of its property.
and the Circuit Court Of the United
States has Jurisdiction under the four
teenth amendment to restrain that.
have looked at these cases
a great many times. and I can only
come to the conclusion that rail.
road company is entitled to charge a
fair and reasonable rate. and II any
order of a commission. IL any statute
Of state legislature takes away that
rate. the fourteenth amendment pro
tects the railway company"
The Ordway new era., 1905-06-16
GAs AND WAFER
10 ONE AS NECESSARY As THE
oTHER7
Citizen. of Large cl.le. Say It Is.

New York, June 13.-In the recent
agitation here about the price of gas.
the demand for lower rates was sup
ported by the argument that every
resident Is as dependent upon sup
ply of gas as upon supply OF good
water.
II has come to pass that the day
laborer uses gas as his only fuel for
cooking. because OF economy. and the
rich man uses gas on account OF It's
convenience. Gas for lighting, with
modern improvements In burners. is
cheaper. better and more satisfactory
than any other kind of light. Gas
sells at $1.00 per thousand cubic feet
In large cities and from that to as
high as $500 in smaller towns.
The consumer OF gas in the country
uses Acetylene pronounced a-set'a-
lene), and each user makes his own
gas and is Independent of Gas and
Electric Companies. Acetylene Is a
more perfect illuminant than the gas
sold by the big gas companies In the
cities. and the cost to the smallest
user is about the equivalent OF city
gas at SIS cents per thousand.
Acetylene is the modern artificial
light. the latest addition to the many
inventions that have become daily
necessities.
The light from an acetylene fame
Is soft. steady and brilliant, and in
quality Is only rivaled by the suns
rays. II water and solid material
known as Calcium Carbide are
brought into contact. the immediate
result is the making of this wonder
full gas. The generation of acetylene
is so simple that experience or even
apparatus is not necessary to make
It. II II Is desired TO make 1t for prac.
tical lighting. and to keep 1t for i'm
mediate use. then a small machine
called an "Acetylene Generator" Is
employed. There are many responsi.
BILE concerns making acetylere gener.
ators. In practice. this gas is dis
trIbuted in small pipes throughout
buildings. grounds. or entire cities
and towns. in the same manner as
ordinary city gas. Acetylene is the
only satisfactory means OF lighting
isolated buildings located In the coun.
try or suburbs at n distance from city
gas or electric pants.
The Ordway new era., 1905-06-16


A clergyman recently engaged with
another OF different belief In con-
troversy regarding some question of
religion sent TO n newspaper office an
article supporting his side of the ques-
ton. The article In question con-
tnined about 1000 words. and had been
prepared at the expense OF much mid
night oil. The manuscript had been
received Mt II local newspaper office
and set up in type for the next days
issue. About midnight the telephone
bell rang furiously, the minister Mt the
other end asking for the city editor.
Il am sorry to trouble you at such
late hour" he said. but am In great
trouble"
What can do for you?" was asked.
"ln the article sent you to-day
put Daniel In the fiery furnace. Please
take him out and put him In the lions
den. Sun.
The Ordway new era., 1905-06-16
JsNZd-LsESSsS~c->
IS FOR TILE \
.SEkEEPER,l
GSNSSLS,

Usefui Hints.
y crust with cream 10 In
rown color.
,cihod OF blanchlng almonds
them over night In cold
c nap in sweeping a carpet.
b bring the design out TO
of n beef loaf or farci can
by tomato sauce or caisup
e.
mn In n pitcher. 1t whips
bly, than In an open bowl
pa,ter.
bies are partial to warm
others to cold: IL one Is re-
be other.
bps of kerosene added TO the
(es ironing easier and lends
lhc linen.
bird with the breast down
part OF the time: the flesh
main more juicy.
Yves of lettuce, which, are
We for salad, can be boiled
and served MS greens.
sc dressing is less tlresome
hen beaten with n rotary
instead of stirred with n
er md soap generally re-
Pc spots. II fixed by long
use ether. chloroform or
e the odor OF kerosene. 1t
y IL the outside of n screen
bbed with the oil, the open
Fioor will not be followed by
pt the winged pests.
powder tins should not be
thrown away. They are
n number Of ways, ms for
moulding smail jellies,
flce desserts.
farnnce of meat pie crusts.
almost my pastry. is much
Py brushing with n mixture
Beating the yolk Of an egg
Plespoonfuls Of milk.
1t Is not generally known
Fers from II gelatine dish
moulded. The Jelly should
ID just enough TO melt,
70 n mould. and placed OIL
The Ordway new era., 1905-06-16
NO BANANAS FOR HIM.

Governor Chamberlain. of COnnecti-
cut. tells OF an old friend who. because
of his deafness, makes some ludicrOus
and at times embarrassing mistakes.
Recently he was Mt n dinner party
where the lady seated next to him
tried to help him along in conversa-
ton. AS the fruit was being passed
she asked him: "Do you like bananas?"
NO" said the old gentleman. with a
look of mild surprise. The fact is"
he added in confidential tone which
could be heard in the next room. 81
find the oldfashioned night-shirt is
good enough for me-"
The Ordway new era., 1905-06-16
TOLD BY THE TONGUE.
Signs OF Character Indicated by the Or.
gan of Speech.


When n doctor looks at patients
tongue he finds out good many tEinGi
about the patient other than the state
OF his digestion. He estimates pretty
accurately. IL he is wise doctor, hii
disposition.
For instance, man who talks well
puts out his tongue in manner entire
ly different from that affected by tht
comparatively silent man. The elc
qucnt tongue inclincs to the right sidi
OF the mouth, the reticcnt tongue TO tn
left. Most orators. dcbaters and RI !.
cessful preachers and lawyers have .
right-sidcd tongue, whereas personi
whose disposition is marked by pecul'
iaritics. ccccntricities and seliishnes.
are left. sided.
The tongue that shoots out straight
without turning or wavering indicates
n solid. reliable man of affairs. The
property OF widows and orphans ana
public institutions is likely to be sass
In his hands. and II he lives Iona
enough lie will eventually enjoy faL;
competency of his own.
Tongues that turn up when under thu
Doctors eye indicate an Impractical
nature. Their owners have little sensa
OF TIE value of money. They arr
dreaifers and reformcrs. and contraC.
debta which those whom they havs
been trying TO reform are frequently
called upon TO pay.
Then there Is the melancholy or pess''
misti,' tongue. That has &c uowh'
war: droop. A man born to poverty
and general bad luck reveals his IN
fortunate state by the hopeless drop
ping of his tongue. Also. there Is the
cruel tongue. 1t Hattcns and broadeas
when extended. Physicians who havt
prescribed for the worlds famous
tyrants have left to posteri,y no de.
scription of their patients tongues, but
IL they had they would undoubtedly
have given to every despot n toISue
of the founder type.
The tongue whose edges curl up te'
longs to the artistic temperam srt
Qualities that commonplace persons d:t
wcat to speak Of in tones of reverence
-ernotionalism. sentiment, imagina ion
of a high order, lie wrapped up in that
ousy and certain degree of missrli'
ness lurk there, too, so 1t is just as ,yelI
TO handle that kind of tongue with
care.
Persons who love life and are les
tined TO cling to 1t for many years close
their teeth down tight over The ext-nd
ed tongue.
Everybody is acquainted with the
man to whom neither his own nor any.
bo.y clse's secrets are sacred. BY hi'
tongue may he also be known. 1t pro
trrdes further, when under exam tina
tior. than any other tongue. 1t is q
tongue possessed by very nervous oeo
pie. by the chntterers. hy the suoer'
fc,al. Opposed to TINT is the slsrt
distance tongue. 1t is tongue .hai
is both pleasure and torment to the
Doctor. 1t annoys him because 1t ran'
no. be coaxed out far enough to enable
bi,, to make n thorough examination
bu. 1t pleases because it usually be
lorgs to the chronic invalid and n1d'
| mfre dollars to the doctors bank nc
| cornt than all other kinds of tongues
n,s togethcr.-New York Press.
The Ordway new era., 1905-06-16
Oulnce Cake.

Ike that can be used rs n
Dhe following ounce cake:
fich: First make a simple
3. Spread the cake in two
each about half an inch
II bake slowly. so as TO
klcr and moist. until It Is
kn cold spread each OF the
ounce jelly and cover one
bed cream tha. l,nn been
nth n little melted geln.
Whipped cream may lie tlav-
|1uincc by adding n table
/ hot melted Iuince jelly
|kcd gclatine. When this
|pread on one cake lay 1t
)prcad on the other q mcr.
bake 1t slowly for about
twenty minutes. or until 1t
Brown. The edges OF the
: he covered with the mcr.
bat IL Will not become dry
!. After the mrrimIuc has
y pile the layer OF the cake
pvered by It on top Of til.
containing the Jelly and
us Is an ornamental cake.
n dessert, served cold Oh n
Her.
The Ordway new era., 1905-06-16
4 BIRLICAL JOK L.

A Chicago minister asserts that some.
times the most common statement OF
fact comes TO an ignorant person al.
most as revelation. Once. after n
Thursday morning address, worship
cr remained behind TO thank him. and
said: You always give me something
new TO think about. and, unit: I heard
You this morning. 1 thought that So.
dom and Gomorrah were man and
wife"
The Ordway new era., 1905-06-16
s.,x. Toad in Coal.

The University OF Washington IL IN
y,stigating the discovery-testified te
by dozens OF miners"- that live
toad was found on October 10 In The
coal mines at Newton. six miles sr,m
Seattle. In solid stratum OF fcal
3,,0 feet below the surface. 1t was
carried to the surface and lived scv'
eral hours. 1t Is said to have sces
OF unusual size.
The Ordway new era., 1905-06-16
Or.ux. Cake.

|lnyer cake can he prepared
Beat to n cream the yolks
b and n cupful of sugar.
burths of n cupful OF sour
flicn one and three-fourihs
1our which has been sifted.
! teaspoonful OF soda. sew
Crate In enough OF the yell
I'm orange to give the cake
Inge flavor. Bake In rather
h When cool spread upon
,r upon two. II there We're
Y n thick coating of orange
B the top lrycr with an icing
powdered sugar molstened
\ juice and grated rind OF
A little lemon may also
Decorate with n few bits
orange peel. Place the
nntil the Icing has become
|en serve. 1t will keep sew
The Ordway new era., 1905-06-16
BEHOLD
Lrfatter!s.
|s..i Flank steak.

\ uealcr reserve for you n
nnk steak without scor-
Instead have hun make n
BY splitting It through the
)thin nm inch OF the edge
3 sides. FIJI the pocket
stutiing or a bread stuf.
y for poultry. and sew the
kther. Sprinkle the meat
b pepper and roll in -four.
5ppings into n baking pan.
1t. put In the meat and
pt oven. After about ten
n cupful OF hot water.
Dok In n slower oven from
b hour and n half. basting
Serve with the thickencd
pan.-What to Eat.
The Ordway new era., 1905-06-16
Den. B.iI.r'. 40, -.

Butler has had brought from
lea the horse that carried
fh the Bcer war, and It will
rest or its days at the gen.
r. in Devonshire. England.
III the neck IN one Of the
The Ordway new era., 1905-06-16

tended to with out delay The mex
day the father sent the follwing an.
swer: Dear Sir-Whip 1t out of him.
The Ordway new era., 1905-06-16

A powder. Il rests tho feet. Cures Swollen,
Sore, Hot, Callous, Aching, Sweating Feet
and 1ngrowing Nails. AT all Druggists and
Shoe stores, " cents. Accept NO substitute.
Sample mailed FREE. Address, Allen 8.
Olmsted, LeRoy, N. Y.
The Ordway new era., 1905-06-16

The more front we put up the more
inquisitive people are to know what's
behind II.
The Ordway new era., 1905-06-16

Untasted sweets are sweetest. There
is II doubt. however, about this apply
ing TO kissing.
The Ordway new era., 1905-06-16

Lawysr-so you married in haste and
repentod at iefsuref Lady Client--No,
sir! I married at leisure and repented
The Ordway new era., 1905-06-16
AK Your Dealer sor Aliens Foot.Eass.

A girl can be so pretty as to make
you think she doesn't need any sense.
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1905-04-07
A SINGLE PRIMARY

We are earnestly in favor of our pri-
mary for this canvass, and our chief
reason is that we are anxious TO have
full expression at the polls on the
men and measures now before the
people. The Virginia voter has got
ten into the bad habit of staying away
from the polls, and in our opinion if
county and state matters are to be
considered on the same day there will
he an old time outpouring Of the SOW
creigns. There is tendency this time to
dodge the primary anyhow, and the
one way to prevent ii is to designate
the one day when county clerk as
well as Governor is TO be named. The
matter Of expense should enter into
this discussion too, but the most i'm
portant thing at this junction is to in
duce the voters to turn out on primary
day, and when they do turn out and
vote, lets dismiss the thoughts that
there will be any lodging Of debts
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1905-04-07

Governor Montague opened his first
fire on Senator Martin in his speech
on last Monday which was delivered
in presence Of thesoverigns ofSpottsyl-
vanla. He flung no mud, but simply
said that Mr.. Martin fell far short OF
the Senatorial standard.
Replies will no doubt come in thick
and fast, especially from the friends
and admirers of Senator Martin, and
we will hear much ofthe "silentman, ~
the "deep water" and the cackle of
the hen just from an eggless nest. "On
with the dance" but let a decent re-
gard Of the proprieties mark the pro-
gramme.
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1905-04-07

Governor Montague, is entirely re.
sponslble, because the newspapers OF
the State, including The News Leader
were practically unanimous in urging
the adoption of the single list, the peo-
PIE and the teachers in many counties
expressed themselves in the same way
and the legislature, as Mr.. Eggleston
recalls, almost unanimously endorsed
the same policy. The action OF the
board as a matter of fact was an eyas-
ion of the law which obviously intend
ell TO throw on that body the response
bility for selecting the books.
Mr.. EgglestOn's next charge is more
serious. lie says that the school regis
tiers in use in the public school, Of the
state cost - cents and are sold 10 the
schools for - cents. Our information
is that they are sold to retailers at 90
cents. This seems to leave na~gn
Of from 80 to 30 cents on each Of 900
books, and the public naturally will
demand To know where thi, difference
goes. who get, it and why. lie lurlh-
er charges that warrant books which
could he secured at a cost Of - cents
each are sold To clerks of school dis
tricts at from one 10 two dollars each.
This seem, to leave another vide mar
gin Of profit
The present superintendent %. pub
lie instruction j, not "A candiittt for re-
election. Nevertheless, hi, depart
ment is here challenged 10y re,pnn-
sble and intelligent citizen who j, a
for superintendent and who
presumably stake. his hope, of sue
cess on his ability to prove the truth of
his charges. Therefore direct and
decisive answer 10 these things is re-
quired. a, the question has been
raised and the subject has been
brought to the attention Of the peo-
pie, there should he very thorough
discussion, and the people should
know all the facts.
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1905-04-07
THE PRESIDENT ON THE GO.

President Roosevelt left Washing.
ton on Monday last for a two months
outing. A short stop was made al
Louisville and then on TO Texas
where, at San Antonio, a reunion OF
the Rough Riders will take place.
After that ceremonial he and bic COM
panions will spend some time hunt
ing in that State. This over they will
leave for Colorado and spend the rest
Of the time with rifle and gun on the
Western plains. Mr.. Roosevelt is
said to have looked forward to this
vacation with bright anticipations and
our hope is that he will enjoy every
moment Of it,
To be out Of touch Of office for two
months will no doubt be a positive
luxury.
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1905-04-07
SCHOOL DEPARTMENT UNDER FIRE
lRlchmond News.Leade

lRlchmond News-Leader.l
Distinct accusation against the pub.
lie school department Of the State is
contained in the announcement OF j.
ID. Eggleston, Jr., of Prince Edward
county, candidate for state superinten-
dent Of public instruction, published
to-day. This is the only department
of the State government that has been
attacked so far in the present cam
paign. For this reason and because of
its tremendous Importance, public in
terest will be focused on our educa-
tiOnal management and prospects.
The people will be called on to con-
slider whether Mr.. Eggleston's charges
are sustained by the facts and wheth-
er the reforms and changes he promis-
es are required by the conditions.
His charges in some respects are di-
rect He tells us that if the adoption
Of the single instead Of the multiple
list had been decided upon by the state
board Of education, the people would
have saved from Is TO 80 per cent. in
the prices Of school books they are re-
quired TO buy for their children. If
our recollection is accurate, Governor
Montague was the only member ofthe
State board who stood out for the sin
gle list. Therefore he is entitled to be
exempted from any public censure
that may follow the presentation Of
the evidence TO sustain Mr.. Eggleston's
contention The school board, except
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1905-04-07

We are gratifed to have our brother
Of the Blackstone Courier to come t.
our assistance in an effort to revive
the old-time State Fair at Richmond.
But, Richmond must "wake up" for
if Richmond doesn't want it, that's an
end Of il.