The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1905-01-28
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"Ps, what is a repartee? ~ "Oh,
meroiy an insult with Its dress suit on,
my son."-Puck.
Mr.. Flush-Have you change for a
Aver Mr.. Broke-No; but / would like
to have five for change.-Ex.
Jurge Knox Gin the court room)-
I've lost my hat. Attorney-That's
nothing. lost a suit here yesterday.
FIX. ~ ..-..
He-It's hard to keep a secret some
times, isn't itP She-I don't know;
Tvs never tried it.-Detroit Free
Press. ..... ~
A little boy was asked his name, and
answered: well, they call me jim
mie, for short; but my maiden name is
James,"
I'm sure he said he was out Of pol
tiles for good" You must have mis-
understood him. He's out for the
goods in politics. "-Philadelphia Press.
Edith-When I accepted Jack he
said he was in the seventh heavenI
Ethel-Quite likely; he's been engaged
to six other girls this season.-Jester.
Minister-So you saw some boys
fishing on the Sabbath, my young man.
Did you do anything to discourage
them? Small Boy-Yes, sir; / stole
their bait.
Hawkins-That pickpocket they
caught is really a very intelligent fell
low. sampson-No doubt Of it. He
proved that by his ability to locate
lady's pocket.
Jaggles-Do those noblemen who
come over here to visit us acquire
many Of our customs? Waggles-I
presume so. At any rate, they borrow
a great deal from us.
My kingdom for a horsev' cried
Richard the Third. And a moment
later he was seen slowly emerging
from under his balky automobile
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
i11r. Gooder-Here's q book I'd very
much like to have our daughter read.
1t contains some good advice for a girl
Of her age. Mrs. Gooder-Very well.
I'll forbid her to touch it.
"a mighty poor sermonw said Knox,
as they came out Of church. What
would you expect for q cent" an
swered Cox, who had seen what the
kicker had dropped into the plate.
"Jones borrowed a dollar from me-
yesterday" YES" He paid me back
with the same dollar loaned him."
''That's strange" mo. couldn't pass
1t either."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Just Too Lovely: YES" said the
first actress, 1--WE got lovely new
play for this season" What is itf'
asked the other. "a society drama in
four acts and Ave new gowns."-Ex.
Kissing Bugs: He-Let us sit out
on the lawn and watch for shooting
stars. She oh, somebody might see
US. Let's sit inside the grape arbor
and watch for lightning bugs.-Judge.
YES" said Mr.. Borem, I'm disap-
pointed In these shoes. It's funny now
Adays how ones things wear out be-
fore one knows it." YES" replied
Miss Weary, with yawn, especially
ones welcome"
Teacher-Now, then, Tommy, you
have no good excuse for staying away
from school yesterday. Tommy-Well,
st wasn't my fault. Teacher-It
wasn't2 Tommy-No, ma'am. done
my best to think up one.
"Oh, chiIdrenI You are no noisy to-
day. Can't you be little stiller and
better7" "Now, grandma, you must be
nGtle considerate, and not scold us.
You see, If it wasn't for us you would
not be grandma at ALL"
she-And you say you would die for
me? Mr.. Boresome-A thousand times.
She-Would you mind doing it just
oncs-straightaway? You know papa
has been appointed coroner, and he
hasn't had any practice yet-Boston
Traveller.
SaIesman-How was it you asked
Grimes only $40 for that coat when the
usual price Is SIS? Proprietor-Well,
you see, he had the coat charged, and
1t Is doubtful If he ever pays. Better
lose $40 than $15. don't you see?-Bos-
ton Transcript.
The Maiden-I have a futtering
about my heart and have no appe-
lite, doctor. The Doctor-Oh, you're
In love: can't do anything for that.
You can't doctor?" Certainly 1
can't" why, doctor! You're not
married!'-Yohkers Statesman.
Burly Party-Are you aware sir,
that you deliberately placed your UNI
brella u my ear last evening? Little
Bifferton-Very careless of me, I'm
sureE wonder what became Of it,
and Would 1t be too much trouble
to ask you to return 1t?-Tit-Bits.
Jones-It is just impossible for me
to keep lead pencil. People are al
ways borrowing, you know, and they
always forget to return. Brown-Why,
nayer have any trouble Soc I've