Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-02-25

| Aside from a few men so wonderfully
| constituted that they may be classed rs
| sui generis, it is probable that no one VINO
| is in proper possession of his mental facul-
! ties has failed at some time or another to
wish that he were a millionaire.
| When a man feels the ruStling of unpaid
| gas, grocers' and rent bills in his pockets
| and knows that his immediate assets are
| o. while at any moment creditor may
| drop on him with a demand for immediate
repayment of s. loan, the thought of be-
| ing millionaire is one that pleases; and
| many man has taken desperate chances
| of losing his Job such as it was, by
| gazing abstractedly into the air within full
view of his indignant employer, while he
| portrayed to himself the paradise of sloth
| that would be his were he only rich beyond
| the dreams of even his avarice.
Yet in reality the millionaire is tied to
| the wheel of work like all the rest OF US
Starvation and ejectment from his fiat may
not face him if he stops work, but ne races
| a loss or a shrinkage of his millions, ana
no millionaire worthy of the name can
bear to contemplate shrinkage of his Two
or three millions any more than Mr.. Will
| lam Jones, shipping clerk, can pear 10 con-
slider a reduction of his $40 a week salary
| to SIS.
Of course, there are exceptions. There
are millionaires pro tem who by inheri-
lance or other lucky strikes" sprout forth
| in night and stand full-blown next morn
| ing in the millionaire garden, beautiful as
roses. They are the kind to whom sudden
| leisure and wealth come as such marVels that
nothing except complete idleneSS will as
suage their thirsty souls; forthwith they
| throw their business affairs trustfully into
| the hands of others, and hire men to dress,
wash, feed and amuse them.
Only Few Genuine Idlers.
Alas! Men who can take good care of
millions are not only scarce, but smart; and
| there is always the chance that they viii!
decide that they can take better care of the
millions by making them their own Thus
| the career of the true idler, who really and
conscientiously does nothing-nothing at all
| is almost sure to be brief. Its duration is
determined purely by the number of millions
| that need to be converted from his posses
| sion into that of more Industrious II not
| better men.
Even if the money lasted the average
| idler would have to cut his career as an
| ider short in sheer self-defense after a few
| years at most, for in the not utterly unWise
design of the world it was arranged that
| idling makes man ten times as tired as
| twenty times the same amount of work.
There are some few folk who appear to be
able to idle Indefinitely without ill effects, but
| they are vegetables, and would be quite as
| happy if they We're trampS.
There really are not many American mil
| lonaire idlers; the true type is as rare as
| the American bison. Sometimes you may
| think that you have found a perfect speci-
men, but hardly do you study him closely
before you find that he has some occupa-
| ton, avocaton, fad delusion that keeps
him as busy and even worried as if he were
trying to earn $40 week in the sweat of
his brow.
When a genuine, absolutely pure specimen
iS ha oil ha cd hU
| melancholy, far-away appearance, compell-
ingly like that of the unhappy adjutant
bird. His bearing is essentially that of the
men who have a blighted future lying be-
hind them.
Not Much Fun in It.
Poor thing, he hasn't much fun in life.
His exclusive circle is SO small compared
with the large and interesting though I'M
digniied affairs of our ruder world; his
clubs are so majestic and pervaded with
the grave-like quiet of a good asylum his
friends are so intensely well-bred; his valet
is SO terrifyingly like trained nurse; his
money can buy him only much more
pomp than fun that he is almost to be con-
graduated when, at last, the remorseless
process of separating him from the money
has been finished.
The writer once knew real millionaire
idler. He was Smith, and through sew
eral generations before he graced the world
selves immensely making much money
Then they died and left it to him. although
he had never done anything to harm them
He rose to the occasion and became a
genius at idling.
At 10 in the morning he yawned his way
into wakefulness. By quarter past he
usually had mustered enough energy to
reach out and push the ivory button to
summon his man"
During the process of dressing he absorb
ed the news of the day in minute doses.
valet 5 Wod ME- YESTERDAY sa H s had toe
a sack suit with four buttons, sir, that was
quite a delicious color, yes, SIR
My soul, you don't tell me, James, was
the interested response of Millionaire Smith.
Yes, sir. And Mr.. --'s man tells me
that they are going to have new auto,
sir Violet body, thirty-horse, and guaran-
| teed to go faster than yours, sir. Yes sir
MY soul, you don't tell me, Jamesr'
Yes, sir. And the bootmaker would like
to know when he shall call on YOU sir"
MY soul, you don't tell me, james,
Yawning His Way.
At noon Smith, millionaire, arrayed with
exquisite correctness, yawned his way forth
into the avenue and strolled sadly along
bowling stonily to his acquaintance, until
he reached the particular one of his half
dozen clubs which he had selected as the
goal after serious consideration
A liveried servant emerged from the dusk
of the corridor and helped him out of his
overcoat. Then he walked into the cafe
and said Good morning sepulchrally to
the few fellow members, who responded
with equally sepulchral voices He sank
into a deep armchair and gazes in dignity
at a newspaper for a few moments. Then
he gazed out of the windows, and, seeing
nothing there at that hour of the day ex-
cept common humanity very busy, he turn
ed with heavy sigh and said to the COM
pany generally:
My soul, but it's dull in town this year,
After a minute So during which the
others pondered the remark one more en-
ergetic than the rest replied
"Just the very thing l was going to say
when you came In
"Yes?' replied Mr.. Smith with deep graf
ification, what will you have?"
At 2'o'clock he arose from his luncheon
and strolled slowly back to his apartments,
where his valet was waiting to dress him in
the frock coat that is demanded of the man
| who would walk the avenue in the after
| noon in proper garb.
1t took almost an hour for Mr.. Smith to
get dressed, but it was time well spent, for
during it's passage he learned from his use
full valet that Mrs. IS Pommeranian had
| fallen i'll Suddenly and that it was feared