The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-04-12
With the Long Boau.
-"Rys NATURES vsIks. shoot foLj

n HIS is great weather! When the sun comes peeping in at
the little window at morn, it makes a man feel birdhke
enough to fit from the headboard of his bed to perch on the
windowsil and twitter. ""a ~1
Someone asks the Housekeeper, els not Is too young for
marrying and Robert Webster Jones wisely replies that
'the age of discretion varies in individuals" Seems if you
might at least begin holding her hand at is. 49,
We never see a woman on the street carrying her purse,
handkerchief and other stuff in a handbag without thinking
how a man would look with his money, tobacco, bunch Of
keys and accountbook chasing him around IN a retlcule.
Why is it a mans suspicious are aroused when he sees his
meatman buying an automobile-and not worrying about
the price either.
At Canon City, COL, Billy Sunday, the evangelist, has the
devil pretty badly ratified. The people are coming in from
the country from great distances to hear him. One OF his
epigrams the other day ran thus:
have known church members to sing 'Throw Out
the Life Iine'' when they did not have enough
spiritual strength to put up a clothesline.
In fact Mr.. Sunday shows himself to be an excellent
paragrapher and could probably make a fair living at the
trade on any newspaper. Following are some of tho para
graphs in a recent sermon:
What you do is Of vastly more Importance than
what you know.
Many churches have degenerated into vast amuse-
nnent bureaus.
Nowadays you think more Of a pedigree than you
DO Of a principle.
Why the world don't join the church is because
the church has joined the world.
The church is all right when she is in the world,
but all wrong when the world is in her.
You can go to hell even if you have gray matter
enough in your brain to fill a hogshead.
F.. I am sometimes surprised that God is doing as well
ssh' is, with the material he has to work with
Parties on Lowry Hill who have lost from ten to fifteen
expensive and muoh-beloved dogs by tho poison route have
been doing a little quiet detective work and think they know
the lady who spread the poison around. Some Of the boys
axe mad enough to set fire to her house at night. That's the
kind Of trouble you get by taking things into your own
hands. Look out for trouble;
It was a sad day for Sherwood, n. D, when the town.
skittish colts went down to Mohall and took on the ball
tossers Of that %bumptious bailiwick. The moan Of Editor
Schnitzler assails high heaven and beats against the: stars
as he tells the terrible details in his Sherwood Journal.
''The game was a sizzler,'' says Mr.. Schnitzler succinctly,
"and both teams struggled hard for supremacy, and had
the colts not gone up in the air in the critical eighth the bay
and laurel would have been theirs. They played a splendid
game individually, but lacked team work.
''In the first half Of the first inning, Sherwood drew an
infinite deal of nothing and it looked as tho the much-touted
Mohall %southpaw was going to deliver the goods. In their
half Mohall garnered two safe ones, and great was the
rejoicing thereat, among the Mohall fans, who raucously an
nounced their citation. But their period Of rejoicing was of
short duration. In the second inning what the colts did to
the Mohall southpaw was a-plenty. They found him where
he lived and Strengthened out his twisters while he waited.
They retired with three large ones to their credit.
"In the fifth. the game was a tie and even chances for
both parties. The game stood this way until the eighth, when
the colts took a balloon ascension and it was all over but the
shouting.'
These sad words tell the cruel tale all too we'll, for in the
seventh the Mohallers pulled in two runs and the next time
to emphasize it, they piled three more on top of them
Mohall fans were having epilepsy and heart failure all over
the field and the sound that arose gave one the impression OF
the baby awaking at 2 an.
The Sherwood colts, however, trotted cheerfully homewaro
and Mr. Schnitzler announces that this is merely the first
game. But the Mohallerers are now permanently convinced
that their aggregation could hold down a league team:
There will be dark blue trouble later. A. j. R.