davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Irish standard., 1905-04-29
THAT SUMMER TRIP TO CALI.
FoRNIA.
Why You Should Go-How You Should
Go-What You Will See,

Why You Should Go-How You Should
Go-What You Will See.
You know, by experience or hear.
say, that California is a delightful
place to winter in. A glance at the
thermometer in Los Angeles any De-
cember or January day is proof
enough that the city of Los Angeles"
is good place to go to if one would
escape the rigors of zero weather.
You probably do not know that Cali
fornia is also a delightful summer re.
sort. 1t may seem a little queer that
the same state can be an all-the-year-
round paradise, just right in winter
and just right in summer, but such is
the fact.
BY the sea and up in the mountains
even the July days in California are
comfortably cool. Down in the valleys
and far inland it is warmer.
Along the ocean shore line are re-
sorts like Coronado Tent City, Cata-
ma, Santa Monica, and Monterey
The mountains are big summer play.
ground, with lovely Yosemite the lead.
ing attraction.
You then see growing crops. Acres
of flowers are in bloom. Outdoor
sports are at their best. You may
climb the high hills, go sailing and
fishing, wander among the old mis-.
sions and cool off in the deep redwood
forests.
The Pacific Coast cities, Los An.
geles, San Francisco and Portland are
each well worth careful study
Portland, in Oregon, to the north OF
California, is this season a center of
interest because of the Lewis and
| Clark Exposition.
And the trip to California is cool
too, if you take the right route. Go
Santa Fe and you go right The
Santa Fe crosses the high table-lands
of central New Mexico and northern
Arizona. The average altitude here
exceeds a mile above sea level-just
the right height for pleasant travel
| the air being pure, cool and bracing
For a considerable distance the road
runs through park-like forests. The
low attitudes of southern Arizona are
Iavoided. Practically no dust is en-
| countered, the track in western Ari
| zona and California being oil-sprin
kled; other sections are rock-ballasted
It's the safe way-heavy steel rails
and block signals.
There's something to see. The
Grand Canyon is the worlds greatest
scenic wonder. The Petrified Forest
is unique in all the earth. The 1ndiar
Pueblos interest everybody. The
crossing of several mountain range.
adds desirable picturesque element
There's something to eat, for Fret
Harvey serves the meals. ,,..
The Irish standard., 1905-04-29
WIT AND WISDOM.

"One more question, Pa" began lit
tie Willie.
Now, see here!" fumed his Pa.
PA" Willie hastened to ask, what
kind O. glass are glass eyes made of"
"Why-er-looking-glass, l suppose.
Now go to bed"
"Too previous laughter turns to
wrath"
$50 runs the Boston saw
His cachinnation's best who hath
The ultimate guffaw."
SAY" called the tiger, as the stag
dashed by, where are you going?"
Travelling for my health" painted
the stag 'Why?"
We'll, my friend Leo invited me to
:. stag dinner party today, and was
The Irish standard., 1905-04-29
Anecdotes of Cardinal Cullen.

His Eminence was a truly jealous
bishop and very holy man. 1t is a
well-known fact that there are not
sufficient priests in Dublin, even with
the aid of members of the religious
orders to hear, within the appointed
time, the confessions of those who
wish to make their Easter duty, writes
Rev. C. l.. P. Fox, in Donahoe's Maya
zine for April. DR.. Cullen. therefore,
issued directions that in addition to
attendance in the confessional of the
priests in the early morning and late
in the evenings as of old, every con-
fessional should be occupied on all
days, except Sundays, at four o'clock
in the afternoon. Hearing, however,
that his orders were not strictly
obeyed, he sent for his carriage and
visited each church in Dublin in sue
cession. Wherever he found people
waiting and no one present to hear
them he would have the bell of the
presbytery rung by his clerical sec
retary, who accompanied him, and a
message was then delivered, with his
compliments, that there were waiting
those who wished to go to confession,
but that there was no one to attend
to them.
In one large parish he did not arrive
at the church until after five o'clock,
and finding that there was no priest in
the confessional, he sat down in that
Of the parish priest before the sum-
mons was conveyed to him. There
was great regularity after that. In
| one church there was no lamp burn
ing before the Blessed Sacrament.
Seeing the sexton moving about he
went to him and asked him the mean.
ing of this omission. Being muffled up
he was not recognized by this import
| ant functionary who asked his Emf.
nence what business it was of his, but
finding that the question was reiter.
ated he condescended to inform him
that he had no oil, and that he had
asked the parish priest to get it for
him two or three times. DR.. Cullen
then enquired how much money waa
required. aud. on being informed, he
The Irish standard., 1905-04-29
wondering if you were the party"
Catholic Standard and Times.
PROBATE NOTICE.

~
STATE OF MINNESOTA, COUNTY OF
Hennepin. Probate Court
III the Matter of the Estate of Thomas II,
Hurley, Deceased.
On receiving and filing the final account
of the Executrix of the last will and tesla
ment of said deceased, and her petition
praying for the allowance Of said account
and for decree assigning the residue of
said estate to the persons by law entitled
to the same,
1t is Ordered. That said petition be heard
ut a special term of said Court to be held
at the Court House in the City Of Mime
aoplis. in said County, on Monday, the 22d
day of May, 1905, at 10 o'clock: in the fore.
noon and that notice of such hearing be
given to all persons interested, by publish
ing this order once in each week for three
s.sccessive weeks prior to said day 0f hear
Ing, In the Irish Standard, newspaper
printed and published in said County.
Dated at Minneapolis this 9th day Of
April 1905. 49,.
By the Court, :
~: ia. ~. ''B. 'C%HARvhy,
!. .r~ -. ss Judge of Probate. i,
The Irish standard., 1905-04-29
Immortality

BY Joseph Jefferson.
Two caterpillars crawling on leaf,
BY some strange accident in contact
came;
Their conversation, passing all belief,
Was that same argument, the very
same,
That has been "proed and conned"
from man to man.
began.
The ugly creatures,
Deaf and dumb and blind,
Devoid of features
That adorn mankind,
Were vain enough, in dull and wordy
strife,
To speculate upon future life.
The first was optimistic, full of hope;
The second, quite dyspeptic, seemed
to nope.
Said number one: Pm sure of our
salvation"
ooiu AulAuCi lWO, III sure vi OuT
damnation;
Our ugly forms alone would seal our
And bar our entrance through the
golden gates.
Suppose that death should take us
unawares,
How could we climb the golden
stairs?
If maidens shun us as they pass us by,
Would angels bid us welcome in the
sky?
wonder what great crimes we have
committed,
That leave us so forlorn and SO un-
pitied.
Perhaps we've been ungrateful, unfor-
giving;
'Tis plain to me that life's not worth
the living"
Come, come, cheer up" the jovial
worm replied,
Let's take a look upon the other
side:
Suppose we cannot fly like moths or
millers,
Are we to blame for being caterpil-
lars?
E1J hot
crawl the earth,
A prey to every bird that's given
birth,
Forgive our captor as he eats and
sings,
And damn poor us because we have
not wings?
If we can't skim the air like owl or
bat,
A worm will turn for a that"
They argued through the summer; au-
tumn nigh,
The ugly things composed themselves
to die;
AAu oO, W Hidhc IIlelF luucTdl QulIG
complete,
Each wrapped him in his little wind
ing-sheet.
The tangled web encompassed them
full soon,
Each for his coffin made him a cocoon.
All through the winters chilling blast
they lay
Dead to the world, aye, dead as hu-
man clay.
Lo, Spring comes forth with all her
warmth and love;
She brings sweet justice from the
realms above;
She breaks the chrysalis, she resur.
rects the dead;
Two butterflies ascend, encircling her
head.
And SO this emblem shall forever be
A sign Of immortality.
New York Tribune.
The Irish standard., 1905-04-29

took out his purse and handed the sac.
ristan sufficient cash to pay for oil for
an entire month. In getting out the
money he unbuttoned his coat, and
the confused sacristan then preceived
that his interlocutor was the great
archbishop himself.
The Irish standard., 1905-04-29
JEST AND STORY.

One day a half-witted youth was
standing on the bank of river when
he was accosted from the other bank
with
Hi, jamie! What is the best place
to cross?'
jamie, who had a spite against the
gentleman, sent him to the deepest
part.
The gentleman in crossing was
nearly drowned, and, when he came
up to where jamie was standing, be
gan scolding him for telling him
wrongly.
We'll! well!" returned Jamie, 81
have seen the ducks and geese cross
over there often, and yet you have
longer legs than them!"
An officer, in his expenses on gov.
ernment service, put down: Porter,
fifty cents" The War Office in long
official letter, pointed out that refresh.
ments, ,fwhile in the execution of public
duty, were not chargable to the ma.
tion. The officer replied that the item
did not represent refreshment, but a
fee paid to carrier. A curt note
from the Office said: You should
have put 'Porterage' The officer
treasured the hint. Next time he had
occasion to take hackney coach, he
put down in his accounts: Cabbage.
two dollars"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-08-02
Some Elopements.

While the average e%lopcncnt is sup
posed to be Il secret affair in which the
girls mother thinks she is downtown
taking Il music lesson and the young
mans parents are quite confident that
he is singing dry goods and watching
with both eyes for Il chance to rise in
the world, there are some elopements
that are built on Il different plan, the
bride to hes mother going so far as to
put them up a lunch.
When Il girls parents cannot afford
a wedding and it becomes Il question
of walking up to the justice of the
peace whom everybody in town knows
and hearing him say, You're hitched;
three dollars. please the average girl
prefers Il little jaunt over to the next
county, for there Is a tingc Of romance
about that. Another advantage in
having the old folks know it is that
they won't have to spend any money
telegralhing home for forgiveness.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-08-02

ADMIRAL TOGO. FROM HIS --LATEST plCrURE
the cruisers Rayan ami i'allada, cap
tured ut Port Arthur, and several in
termed vessels. OF these three are at
Manila - the Aurora, Oleg and Jemt-
chug-whi!e the Lena Is cooped up ut
San Francisco, the Diana at Saigon
and h .Askold ut Shanghai. Trans
ports II golfers and various minor
craft are ut other ports. Whether ia
pan will get all these us one outcome
OF the peace negotiations remains to be
seen. In any event it is held that her
naval strength will be much greater at
the close of the war than ut it's begin
ming. 1t is predicted by some naval
experts that Japan will soon rank
fourth in point OF sea armament.
Naval experts agree that it was the
preparedness and personnel of the Jap
anese navy which enabled it to meet
and overwhelm with utter destruction
a force OF equal If not superior strength
IN point OF armament. All cOncede that
for the readiness of the Japanese to
meet the Russians in the sea Of Japan
chief credit belongs to Admiral Togo,
the quiet nan who planned the action
from his cabin in the flagship Mikasa.
This cabin has sometimes been de-
scribed rs very plain and bare, but the
English artist Seppings Wright has
drawn a picture of it, in which appear
4 roll top desk and 4 luxurious look
ing swivel chair. a mirror and q man.
tel. on which are flowers and photo
graphs, while In the center Of the
apartment stands a table. on which
are seen two of the dwarf trees which
the Japanese are expert in growing.
These little trees are said to be hun
dreds Of years old and were presented
to the admiral by Count Okuma. In
this cabin Togo keeps a shell which
burst on board the Mikasa before Port
Arthur and came near killing the Jan.
anese commander. The fragments were
collected and pieced together with c.
ment.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-08-02
Japan's Rise a.
A Naval Power
She Will Soon Rank Fourth In Point
OF Sea Armament 80. Her Russian
Trophies -. Admiral TOGO
Ia His Cabin.

THE victory Of the sea Of Japan
placed the nation ruled by the
mikado i'll the front row Of the
countries that are known as naval pow
ers. Japan in virtually a%nnihilating
the navy OF Russia and making herself
unu1sputed master Of the waters that
wash he eastern coast Of Asia won a
position alongside the United States,
Germany, France and even England.
American naval experts have already
begun to advocate more strenuously
than ever the increase in the naval
strength Of the United States, not be-
u of any fear of var with Japan,
with which we are OH the best of
terms. but because Il stronger navy.
us it is held, would furnish a better
guarantee Of the continuance Of peace.
Several additional hattleships will be
sent to Philippine waters.
Admiral Togo attacked R~ojestvensky
with but five battleships in his feet.
although the Russians had seven. Two
Of the latter-the Orel and the Nicolas
1.-were captured and are + be added
to Japan's meet. Five Russian ships
the lsetvizan, robieda, Poitava. Pevos-
Wet II Sevastopol-N we're taken with
Port Arthur. ana there is strong hope
at Tokyo that most if o all can be
rendered seaworthy once more. The
battlesilip C~csareyitrh is informed ut
.\aiochau. and it is supposed Japan ex-
poets to claim it in the peace npgotia-
tons.
Two OF the largest hattlcships ever
are now building for ia
pan in England and will soon be com
Should all the Russian vessels
mentione! be added to her feet she
would haveaforce Of fifteen battleships.
three times as many rs Togo COM
manded when he overthrow Rojestven-
But. in addition to the ba%ttleships,
Japan has added or expects to add
many Russian cruisers and torpedo
boats to her naval force. These include
cruiser Nariag, which was sunk at
but has since been raised;
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-08-02
Humor ana Philosophy
By DUNCAN n. SMITH
PERT PARAGRAPHS,

Summer vacation is ut hand for most
OF us. and we spend the time worry
Ing about where we shall 60 and what
We shall DO when we get there.
Summer resort weather has been on
hand for some time in the past. and
wise ones will salt down Il supply and
put it OH ice for use when the other
kind comes along.
1t always puzzles Il man to know
whether the girl who says she does not
like ice real is only leading him on.
ready to receive his yearly average of
drowning.
1t is no hard to invent Il new Ian
guagc. Every woma with Il baby
originates one.
1t. is but Il step from the sublime to
the ridiculous when 4 dignitied mans
foot finds Il banana peel.
Perhaps Il cycloI" is unpopular be-
cause it never stays long enough in Il
place to make friends.
1t Is lucky for woman that man can't
understand Ter. otherwise she would
cease to he i%ntcrcStinr
Perhaps the reason WHY hot weather
Is 50 bad for the temper is because il
is also $, bal for the pockctbook.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-08-02

sion. Major Carson is an authority
on most matters of government. but
particularly upon finance and tariff.
'" is also well informed about army
az rs. ANA nearly every president has
SO =At his advice in making promo
tio;,s Ut me- in the army to bc general
officers. \. competent writer, Il speak
er who al instruct and entertain, he
IS oa" of b most accomplished men
among the Washington correspond
entS.
President Harrison wanted to make
Major Carson assistant secretary of
Wa. an President Mckinley asked
hin to bc his private secretary. but he
declined office OF both occasions.
Lew Fields, the comedian, ana Julius
s>tegcr wee Standing on the co ner of
Hrol;w.. ANA F~orty-seconl- street,
New io:... he other day when Il
Gtrun -. acc)stcl them.
40 these cars stop at the Battery?"
be asked.
"If they DON'T replied Mr.. Fields.
you'll get an awful ducking.'
Willard II. BrOWnSOn, who for some
years was superintendent of the An
Eapolis Naval academy and has just
been made 4 rear admiral. was the
naval officer who fired the shot III the
harbor of Rio Janeiro which was heard
around the world. 1t was in the Mello
naval instruction In Brazil In 1894.
The insurgent naval force was trying
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-08-02
Education Won the Jack Pot.

On a Ntrm ana sultry day two
tramps We're playing 4 game of poker
behind Il hayStack. One of them dealt.
What are you going to bet:" he ask
ed the ether.
I've got 4 pretty good hand, so I'll
open the Jack pot for a hundred dol
lars"
"All right. I'll see that and raise you
4 thousand"
Good. Ill lust make it a billion
dollars"
"I'll sec your billion. and just to
make il interesting III raise you a
trillion dollars"
"Whcw. Nou must have Il good hand!
But I'll stay ana 90 you just Il quad
rillion better"
THAT suits me. III make it a Quin-
tillion better than yours"
The other tramp hcsitated and look
ed at his cards intcntly. Finally he
said:
"The pot is yours. You win on edu-
cation."-.Tulgc.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-08-02
NINETY A YOUNG.
S""n W. Oliver IL Active a. m Edi.
tor At FOurscore and Ten.

~ w. Ol1Hcr IL Active ~ IN
tor At FOurscore and Ten.
A journalist still in active service
VINO almost links the twentieth cen.
Jury with the eighteenth is John W.
Ollver. veteran editor of the Yonkers
IN. ~ Statesman. Mr.. Oliver recently
generated his ninetieth birthday. He
saw Thomas Jefferson and John Ad.
ans. and shook hands with Lafayette.
he witnessed the driving Of the first
spike in the construction Of the Balti-
more and Ohio railroad. the act hav-
Ing been performed by Charles Car
roll. II Of the signers of the Decla-
ration Of Independence. Though his
boyhood memories are associated with
the mel who were prominent in the
eighteenth century and the Revolution
airy period. he is busy today helping to
solve through the press the problems
incident to the complicated civilization
OF the twentieth century.
Mr.. Oliver was born in Baltimore
April 81. 1915. He learned the printing
trade. and at twenty walked from Bal
timore to New York. which he reached
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-08-02
I~scrhdiOua Man.

"Yes." confessed the younger wo-
man. II do all my own cooking and
housework. You see, my husband
praises everything l do and seems to
enjoy his meals so much that l haven't
the heart to risk hiring II servant who
might not meet his requirements"
PRAISES you. does hep" asked the
elder woman, with Il sniff. "Humph!
You might know he would. That's the
way with men They'll stoop to all
kinds Of deceit in order to make a
woman slave herself to death for them.
No wonder you never have a chance
to attend the lectures on cooking and
housekeeping at the club."-Chicago
Tribune.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-08-02

in an almost pennies condition, hay
ing only 6 cents in his pocket. But he
at once found Il position in Il printing
office, and in Il months time was fore
man. Two years later he was run
ming IN office of his own. He applied
steam machinery to job printing and
helped to revolutiOnize the trade. In
1910 he organized the Washingtonian
movement in New York. and in 1912
Joined with Il brother in organizing
the Sons of Temperance. They also
published Il temperance paper. In
1872, when he was nearing the chic
reforming age, according to Osler, he
sold out his printing business, intend
ing to retire. but the same day he made
the sale he accepted Il position as edi-
tor Of the Yonkers Statesmen. In 1881
political influences resulted in his re-
moval as editor. but within a month he
had formed u company. which bought
the paper, and he thus became it's prin.
cipal wner as well as editor. In 1889
he established the present daily edi-
ton Of the Statesman. 1t had been
published as Il weekly for twenty
seven years previous to that time. In
1899. ut eighty-four years Of age. he
for the third time.
Mr.. Oliver is ut his desk In the
Statesman office every day and usual
" does considerable Of the editorial
work of the paper. His home is three
quarters Of a mile from the office, and
he always walks back and forth for
exercise.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-08-02

dClIOu. Dut uO u1OCe
shots were necessary. The blockade
collapsed.
When a guest of Sir Thomas Upton
some time since the admiral told of an
other shot he IL C. fired. He said:
while In command Of the gunboat
Petrol, about twelve years ago, then
lying off Greytown, a monster shark
came every day and lay on our quar-
ter. Just how big he was l won't un-
dertake to say, but there was a thirty
foot whaleboat at the gangway one
day, and when the sharks head was at
the prov Of that boat lie could twist
his tail all around the stern. tried a
lumber Of shots ut him with Il rifle
without any visible effect. so one MORN
ing ! trained Il one FOUNDER OH the SPOT
where he usually placed his head ana
old an orderly to notify me when he
appeared. had forgotten all about
the matter and was at lunch below
deck with some guests when the order
~ entered. Raising his right hand In
the customary naval salute, he an
nounced with the utmost gravity AMI
as If announcing The arrival of some
n of Importance:
"'The sharks alongside, SIR
when the laugh that followed the
rather startling announcement had
subsidized W" all went on deck and
FOUND the monster with his head in the
range OF the gun. l fired. There was
a tremendous splashing and a good
deal Of blood spilled. but the shark dis
appeared. never saw him after
ward"
His excellency \. J. Nelidoff, who has
been designated by the car as chief
plenipotcntiary for Russia in the peace
negotiations with Japan. now pending.
is The lsussian ambassador to France.
He is a typical Russian in appearance
and has enjoyed IN unusually success
ful career as Il diplomat. He has rep
resented Russia in Italy. and in 1897
was the Russian ambassador to Tur-
key. Difficult duties fell to him in this
capacity. as the European powers We're
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-08-02

drawing and painting. Although he
has been Il student at the art school In
st. Louis but Il year and Il half. he has
already Won several prizes. In view
Of the popularity of Japanese produc-
tons in America. he expects to re-
main Ia thi, country. Speaking of
the difference between American and
japanese IDEAS Of art. Mr.. Dato, who
10 a little fellow four feet six inches
in height. says:
I'm my country we do much DIFF
ferent from America-that is, you have
long lines OF pictures hanging on the
wall for many years; we change ac-
cording to the season and don't have
butterflies and lily ponds on the walls
when the snow Is on the ground or
snow pictures when It's hot"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-08-02

" SAAAJ "a A4AA
with a grip ana an umbrella = of
course. the husband. Unexpectedly re-
turned.
"The husband nc sooner sees the cou-
pie Oh the sofa than he whips out a re-
volver and kills them both-her first,
him afterward.
"Then he puts OH his glasses. and,
looking about him. suddenly gives a
great start.
"'Good heavens" he exclaims. I'm
on the wrong f1oorv"
Senator H. c. Hansbrough Of North
Dakota has long been the owner Of q
newspaper. OF late years other du-
ties have prevented his giving ii much
attention. and he has depended on d.
vers itinerant journalists, says Har-
per's Weekly.
1--WE had some good men in the
place. too" tho senator once observed
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-08-02

In 1888, he worked
as a young man
In the newspaper
business In Phila.
delphia, served
three years in the
civil war and came
out a captain. He
became Il Wash
ington correspond
ent in 1878. and for
~thirty-two years he
has held Il high
Mace in his ,,l.nfaS.