davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-08-03
WOLC0TT.

F. L. Merritt is having his house paint
ed.-Mrs. William Barter has returned
home from her visit to Richford. -Louis
Beauvor has moved his family to Bakers
field. where he has emplOyment-Mrs
Adelbert Warren of Morrisville has re-
turned home after weeks visit with
relatives here.-A. J. Putnam is at work
In Morrsville doing repair work on mills
Mrs. i. A. Goven has returned home
from months outng.-Edgar Daniels
OF Morrisvillc spent Sunday with friends
here.-Ned Baldwin and son of Lake
wood, N. y. are guests of his parents
Henry Baldwin and wife.-William NAV
and wife spent Sunday in Johnson.-Mrs
Fannie Hilliard of Lowell. Mass, In the
guest of her sistcr-in-law. Mrs. Louis
I.afleur.-Agnes lABarrOn ia IN Plainflcld
for a visit with rclatives,-William Cass
and wife OF Danville are visiting at c, A.
Bridge Harvey has rented
the tenement vacated by Louis Beavoir
and will begin overwhelmingly. A. All.
bee has sold his team to A. f.. Phillips
Miss A. Goodale ID spending the week
with Miss Bertha Jennings. --Fayette
Warren and wife were In Worthwhile
Visiting at the home of his son Monday
Harold McAuslan and wife of Provi-
dence. r. l.. are guests at J. 7. Hubbelrs
this week.-Mrs. S. A. Fife gave a lawn
party to her Sunday school class Tuesday.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-08-03

Mrs. NJ. II. Perkins. who has been the
guest OF her husband. the Rev. NJ. II.
Perkins, for the past month"; returned to
her home In Mclrosc Monday.-Mrs. q. T..
Jennings and her daughter, Bee. Is
spending the week in Boston. the guests
Of rclatives.-Nirs. stephen Foy went the
first OF the week to Rhode Island to visit
her daughter. Mrs. A. w. Vigcant.-W. r.
Mead. station agent. visited his parents
In Cndcrhill over Sundays. A. Fife will
go to Old Orchard Beach Friday for n
few days outing.-Thc Rev. d. l.. Jen-
nings of uxbrdgc. Mass. will preach in
the Methodist Chruch next Sunday.--Lcon
1aPalme has returned to his work at
Brighton, Mass.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-08-03
JOHNSON.

]. v. Barton and wife havo returned
from camping at Caspian lake.--C. w,
Baker and family are visiting at T. j.
Bakcr's.-Miss Ida Barton has been con-
fined to the house for few days by sick
ncss.--Mrs. Carrie Wilton and daughter
from Burlington came here to attend the
funeral of u. G.. Holmes, and returned
last Monday.--M. A. Fullington and wife
spent Sunday with Mrs. l.. NJ. Foote. re-
turning to Sheldon Monday.-Mrs. Q. s..
Clark from Chicago Is visiting her sis
ters, Charity and Belle Bakcr.-W. r..
Tracy and Or. Hubbcll and friends are
camping at Lake Eden.-H T Knight
has rented the Joseph Jacobs house and
taken posscsson.-'The Rev. I. r. Johnson
was in town last week getting his Ithel
Falls campgrOunds in readiness for the
annual meeting, which is from August Is
to the 18th. a large and interesting corps
of speakers have been engaged, and n
prosperous meeting is looked forward to-.
III. ". Newton and wife left last Thurs
day for "A two months visit to their
daughter in Sycamore. Ill.-C. r. Jones
and family and o. A. Netherlands family
are camping at South Hero.-W. II. jack
son and family are visiting her sister.
Mrs. Thomas Waterman, for a few days.
The Forrest City times., 1905-08-18
CAMPING IN THE ROCKIES.
Delights of the Evening Around tho Fire Described by an
 Enthusiast

About dusk you struggle in with trout or game. The eampkeeper lays aside his mending or his repairing or his note- book and stirs up the cooking fire. The smell of broiling and frying and boiling arises in the air By the dancing flames of the campfire you eat your third dinner for the day-in the mountains all meals are dinners, and formidable ones at that. writes s. E. White. in The Mountains. ,"
 The curtain of blackness draws down close. Through it shine stars, loom mountains cold and mistlike in the moon. You tell stories. You smoke pipes. After a time the pleasant chill creeps down from the eternal snows. Some one throws another handful of pine cones on the fire. Sleepily you pre- pare for bed. The pine cones flare up. throwing their light in your eyes. You turn over and wrap the soft woolen blanket close about your chin. You wink drowsily and at once you are asleep.
 Late In the night you awaken to find your nose as cold as dogs. You opei one eye. A few coals mark where the fire has been. The mist mountains have drawn nearer. they seem to bend over you in silent contemplation. The moon is sailing high in the heavens. With sigh you draw the canvas trapaulin over your head. Instantly it is morning.
The Forrest City times., 1905-08-18
ENGLISH OF FOREIGNERS.
Their Efforts at Mastering the Ian. guage Are oftentimes Very
 Ludricous.

The struggle of foreigners who have put their faith in dictionaries to account for English as she is spoke'' in New York are sometimes funny. says the Times. An educated young Italian asked an American who spoke his language why the dictionaries were so badly made.
 There are two expressions which I hear constantly" he said, "and neither of them is in any dictionary I have looked into. They are 'ahbetchu' and 'idono."
 His American friend pondered for . season, and then. with a cheerful smile, told him that "ahbetchu" stood for "I bet you" and 'idono" was short for T don't know"
 But why" said the Italian. "when a person is leaving. do you call saloon after him? I caa't understand 1t. thought at first 1t was joke, to insin- uate that I was going to saloon. But they call it after women too
 "Your 'saloon.' my boy" replied the American, lis simply so long, that is New York dialect for addio, adieu. adios. auf Wiedersehen, farewell, or good-by.'
The Forrest City times., 1905-08-18
any pants, because what pants tn. arabs

any pants. because what pants the arabs didn tear were worn off on the stones. so when he showed up in front of the spinks he was a sight, and he bought A urban of guide and unwound it and wound It around him in place of pants. l was ashamed of dad myself. and it is pretty hard to make me ashamed
 We went back to Cairo on the cars. and what do you think. that dead camel that the Arabs made dad pay for was with the caravan going back to town. cause we saw him out of the car window with the hair wore of where dad kicked him Tn the side. The tourists say the Arabs nave that camel trained to die every day when they get to the pyramids. and they make some tenderfoot pay for him at the end oi each journey. Dad is going to try to get his money back from the Egyp- 'iah government, but I guess he will never realize on his claim.
 well. sir after dad had doctored all hight to get the camel rheumatism and spinal meningitis out of his system. we LOOK trip by boat on the Nile and saw the banks where the people grow crops by Irrigation, and where an English syndicate has built big dam. so the whole valley can be irrigated and I tell you u will not be long before Egypt will raise everything used in the world on that desert, and every other country that raises food to sell will be busted up In business, but it is disgusting to take a trip on the Nile, cause all the natives are dirty and sick with contagious dis eases, and they are lazy and crippled. ana peg Tor living. and if you don't give them something they steal all you got. iou are in luck if you get away without having leprosy, or the plague, or chol- era, or heaS.
 50 We went back to Cairo. and there was the worst commotion you ever saw about my fireworks in the tomb The papers said that an American dynamiter mad attempted to blow up the great pyr- amid, and take possession of the country ana place it under the American flag. and that the conspirators were spotted and would be arrested and put in irons as soon as they got back from trip on the Nile.
 Well, sir, dad found his career would close right here, and that he would prob. ably spend the balance of his life in an Egyptian prison if we didn't get out. so We made sneak and got into our hotel and bought disguises and are going to get out of here tonight, and try to get to Gibraltar, or somewhere in sight of nome. Dad is disguised as shiek. with whiskers and white robe, like a bath robe, and am going to travel with him as an Egyptian girl till we get through the Suez canal.
 Gee, but I wouldn't be nigger girl only to save dad Your innocent.
 HENNERY.
The Forrest City times., 1905-08-18
FAIR INDIAN TERRITORY,
Contrary to Common Impression IL Is Fine and Produc-
 tive Country.

The people of the east have very lit- tie comprehension of the conditions of things out in Indian territory. Ac- cording to the popular impression it is a wilderness, sparsely settled by sav- ages. partially civilized halfbreeds and a few white adventurers and escaped criminals. That never was the case. writes w. E. Curtis, In Chicago Rec ord-Herald. although the territory has had more than it's share of rascals and adyenturers. and Is not entirely with out them yet. To-day. as you ride through from the Kansas to he Texas boundaries on any of the railroads, you will see very little difference from either of those states, and will not realize when you have crossed the bor- der line. The landscape Is .ovely-a rolling prairie. broken by frequent
The Forrest City times., 1905-08-18

dies that the guides carried. and up and down stairs, until finally we got into big room that smelled like morgue, with bats and evil looking things all around, and felt creepy
 The guides got down on their knees to pray, and I thought it was time to be robbed again. do not know what made me think of making sensation right there in the bowels of that pyramid. where there were eorpses thousands of years old, of Egypt's rulers. I never felt that way at home. when visited cemetery, but 1 thought I would shoot my last roman candle and fire my last giant tirecracker right there in that mos eleum. and take the chances that we would get cut alive. So when the tour ists were lined up beside tomb of some Rameses or other, and the guides were praying for strength and endurance. probably. to get away with all the mon- ey We had, picked out place up toward the roof that seemed full of bats and birds Of i'll omen, and I sneaked my roman candle out from under my shirt. and touched the fuse to a candle on the turban of guide who was on his knees. and just as the first fire ball was ready to come out I yelled: ''Whoop- la much a wano, pluribus unum," and the fire balls lighted up the gloom and knocked the bats gally west.
 Holy jumping cats. but you ought to have seen the guides, yelling Allah! Allah. and groveling on the floor, and the bats were flying around in the faces of the tourists, and everybody was sim ply scared out of their boots. I thought 1 might as we'll wind the thing up glo- rious, so l touched the tail of my last giant firecracker to the sparks that were oozing out of my empty roman candle. and threw 1t into the middle of the great room, and when it went off you would think cannon had exploded, and every body rushed for the door, and we fell over each other getting out through the passage towards the door.
 was the first to get out on to the side of the pyramid and 1 watched for the crowd to come out. The tourists got out first, and then dad came out, puffing and wheezing, and the last to come out were the Arabs, and they came on their hands and knees, calling to MT. Allah and every one of them actually pale, and I think they were conscience stricken, for they began to give back the money they had robbed dad of, and an Arab must be pret- ty scared to give up any of his hard-earned robberies I think dad was about the maddest man there was, until he got some of his money back, when he felt better, but he gave me talking to that will rover forget
 He said: Don't you know bet ter than to go around with explo- sives, like train robber. and fire them off in hole in the ground, where there is no ventilation, and make peo- ple's ears ring? Maybe you have woke up those kings and queens in there, and
The Forrest City times., 1905-08-18

dad said he would go up or quit the tour ist business. He said he had come thou sands of miles 10 climb the pyramids. and sit in the shadow of the spinks. and by ginger he was going to do it, and so We started.
 wei, say. each stone is about four feet nigh, and dad couldn't get up without help, so an Arab would go up a stone ahead. and take hold of dads hands. and two more Arabs would get their shoul- ders under dads pants. and shove. and ne would get up gradually We got about half way up when dad weakened and said he didn't care so much about pyramids as he thought he did. and he was ready to quit. but the guide and some of the tourists said we were right near the entrance to the great tomb of the kings, and that we better go in and at least make a formal call on the crowned heads, and so we went in through dark passages, with little can
The Forrest City times., 1905-08-18

timber and watered by large streams including three of the largest tributar- is of the Mississippi river. Practically all of the untimbered land is under cul- tivation, and you are scarcely ever out of sight of house The soil is as thor oughly cultivated as that of Kansas,
 Nebraska or Missouri, and just at this time of year when the wheat fields are ready for the harvest, the corn is waist high and the foliage of the forest is lustrous with life and vigor NO part of the United States is more beautiful to the eye. while few sections respond so generously to the labor of the far mer.
The Forrest City times., 1905-08-18
OBJECTIONABLE LANGUAGE.
What His Employer Said Caused the Young Man to Quit His Job
 at Once.

So 1t was on the 12th of May" said the lawyer. cross-examining the witness. relates the New York Times. that MT. Davidson dismissed you from his employ?"
 That was the date on which 1 left the service of the head of the estab- lishment." corrected the solemn young man. who was particualr about the way in which you looked at thing.
 "Oh, then understand that you re- signed said tn. lawyer. interested. Now state the reason you had for leaving the service of your employer"
 MT. Davidson used language in my hearing" said the witness nervously, which made it impossible for me to maintain my connections with him!"
 "Ah. he used language," cried the lawyer. while the jury and spectators
The Forrest City times., 1905-08-18
Thunder in Ancient Times.

Tn this season of thunderstorms 1t is interesting, if not exactly profitable, to read an ancient interpretation Of them. The "Prognostication Ever lasting of One Leonard Digges." pub lished in 1856, tells us that thunder in the morning denotes wind: at noon. rain, and in the evening. a great tenn pest He goes further ..it., and de- clares that Sundays thunder should bring the death of learned men. judges and others: Mondays the death of women; Tuesdays. plenty of grain:
 Wednesdays bloodshed; Thursdays the slaughter of great man and oth- CT horrible murders; Saturdays. general pestilent plague and great dearth.
The Forrest City times., 1905-08-18
Fruit Used in Fishing.

A recent writer in The National Geo. graphical Magazine" tells of tree grow ing in the Malay archipelago. the Anda- man islands and Ceylon, which pro- duces a fruit used in fishing. with results of a remarkable character. The fruit is pounded up into paste and left in bags over night, after which it is sunk at low tide in deep holes along the reefs. The fish soon begin to appear at the sur face; some of them Hfeless. others at- tempting to swim or faintly struggling. with their ventral side uppermost. In
The Forrest City times., 1905-08-18
The Bad Boy and His Dad Climb the Pyramids-The Bad Boy Lights a Cannon Cracker in Rameses' Tomb They Flee from Egypt in Dis guise.
py HON GEORGE W. PECK.

BY HON. GEORGE W. PECK.
 fE1-Goyernor of Wisconsin. Former Edi-
 for of "Peck's Sun" Author of Peck
 Bad Boy" Etc.)
 fCopyright, 1905. by Joseph B. Bowles)
 Cairo, Egypt.-My Dear Old Geezer: 1 broke of my last letter in sight of the nyramids. when 1 was left alone on the desert. my jackass having stampeded with the camels, on account of my fire works, and I presume you think 1 vas All in. but got to the pyramids before the stampeded caravan did. 1 saw car coming along. and just got aboard and in ten minutes l was at the base of the big pyramid. and the camel with dad on between the humps. was humping himself half a mile away, trying to get there, and the other camels, with the Arabs. were stretched out like horses in race, behind. and my jackass was right next to dads camel, praying and occasionally kicking dads camel in the slats
 There were about hundred tourists around the base of the big pyramid all looking towards the stampede of the camels, and I told them my dad, the great American millionaire, was on the runaway camel in advance, and asked them to form line across the trail and save dad, but when the camel came near CT 1 was ashamed of dad. He had his arms around the the front hump of the camel. and he was yelling for help to stop his menagerie. and his legs were flying in the air. and every time they came down they kicked hole in the side of the camel.
 We'll sir, I thought dad was a brave man, but he blatted like calf, and when the camel stopped and went to eating a clump of grass dad opened his eyes, and when he saw that the procession had stopped he rolled off his camel like a bag of wheat. and stuck in the sand and began to say prayer. but when he saw me standing there. laughing he stopped praying, and said to me: "I thought you were blown up when that jackass kicked the can of dynamite You have more lives than a cat. Now. get a hustle on you and We will climb that pyramid, and then quit this blasted country" and dad sat down on hummock and began to pull himself together, after the most fearful ride he ever had He said the camel loped. trotted, galloped, single
The Forrest City times., 1905-08-18
MENTIONED OF MATRlMONf
Oracular Observations Upon the State Which Is Not Always
 Blissful.

To keep orange blossoms from fading. never put them in hot water.
 When a girl marries an Englishman she frequently spells altar with an Fl
 Married folks cannot live on rice ant ,ld shoes as a steady diet, writes Tom Mason. in Life.
 It is almost impossible for the best husband and wife not to have an occas- ional understanding
 After the first year the sofa never creaks.
 About the only thing in honeymoon that can be renewed is the trousseau-
 It makes a great difference whether the girls father gives her away. or her friends
 Sometimes. through her husband, a woman meets some delightful men
 The wedding ring is no respecter of persons. As the first wife sows, the second wife reaps.
 Marriage between a man and a woman is often a good thing-it prevents them from deluding themselves wdth the idea that they could ever be good friends.
 It always takes about . year for two people to discover that they are not suited to each other,
 No matter how many husbands a woman may marry, if they should all meet and talk it over, they never would come to any agreement about her.
 Once in a while we hear of our ideal marriage and disbelieve it.
 Marriage certificates are never put in the fedeposit vault-they take up ton much room.
 Marriages are made in heaven and unmade in South Dakota. An unhappy marriage may be cured by divorce. But what cure is there fo- two people living apart2
The Forrest City times., 1905-08-18
Sample of Divine Goodness.

Froude told Dr. Boyd an interesting little anecdote of an Oxford under graduate who was asked in an examina- ton in Paley's Evidences" If he could mention a solitary instance of the Di- vine goodness which he had discovered for himself. "Yes." he replied. The conformation of the nose of the bulldog. It's nose is so retracted that 1t can hang on to the bull. and yet breathe freely. gO.'-T. P.s Weekly.
The Forrest City times., 1905-08-18
QUEER KANSAS MONUMENT
Marks Where a New Yorker Took a Steamer Up the Sandy
 Kaw River.

Forty.eight years ago a New York man named Thaddeus Hyatt did wonderful thing in Kansas, which made him talked about all over that section Did any of you ever hear of Thaddeus Hyatt?" asked Kansas man of New York crowd that was showing him the sights. No one in the crowd had ever heard of MT. Hyatt.
 well. continued the Kansas man. there Is crumbling monument to his memory on sandbar in what is now called on the maps the Kansas river. but when Hyatt was out there 1t was known as the Kaw river
 'if was not so wide as the Harlem. but it was put down in 1857 as g nay igable stream. the only navigable stream in the state. You can stand on one side of the river now and throw your hat across to the bank op- posite.
 Hyatt was a good type of the hustling customer when he went out to Kansas The country was suffer ing from grasshopper plague.
 "A lot of eastern people who had gone out there to seek fortune lived up the kaw river. They wanted some thing to eat. Hyatt built steamboat of light draft for the purpose of sup plying the people with the necessaries of life.
 He named his boat the Lightfoot- She was to run from Kansas City to Lawrence. She made only one trip. Her passengers were men who after ward became famous in the west Ths captain of the boat. some years later, was governor of New Mexico.
 AS the Iightfoot ascended the K2w the people turned out and saluted her. and when she reached her destination the town of Lawrence made the event a holiday and gave the captain and his passengers a ball to commemorate the event.
 "On the return trip the Lightfoot struck a sandbar and stuck. The waters were rapidly receding. No other boat could get to her to pull her of. She was finally deserted and later dismantled.
 But the remains of the hull are still to be seen at low stages of water. sticking out of the sand. and few people are still living out there who point out the wreck as Thaddeus Hyatts monument.
 Near the site where the Lightfoot landed and discharged her relief cargo there was. until som. years ago. 2 huge post which marked at that point the boundary line between Missouri and Kansas. On the Kansas side of the post was the word Freedom: on the Missouri side was the word | Slavery.
 "OT course the railroads killed bust ness on the Kaw river, but if no rail road had ever been constructed the Raw as a nayigable stream was doom ed. It had the sand. but that was about all. Most of the time there was not enough water in the course for q canoe.
 "If you gentlemen will show me the | way, I want to open up few bottles | to the memory of that New Yorker who had the pluck to go to the reIiet of Kansas when 1t was hungry We know his name better than his own town knows it"
The Forrest City times., 1905-08-18
Birching in British Navy.

We say unhesitantly that "A strokes oe the birch, as applied in the service, is . disgusting and brutal affair. We have not go an ounce of sentiment in the mat- ter. Boys who do wrong have to be pun ished Bnt 24 with the birch, We have seen it inflicted dozens of times, anu never without feeling sick and disgnsted at the exhibition it entails. Boys who can't be kicked into shape without the birch are of no use to the navy and bad far better be put on shore.-Lond0a Fleet
The Forrest City times., 1905-08-18

changed a dynasty. you little idiot" The rest of the crowd wanted to throw me down the side of the pyramid, but I got the pyramid and hoisted a small Ameri can flag, and left it floating there, and then came back to where the crowd was discussing the explosion in the tomb. and then We all went down the side of the pyramid.
 The guides got their nerve back after they got out In the air, because they wouldn't help dad down unless he paid them something every stone they helped him climb down, so when he got down he didn't have any money and hardly