River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-06-29
Uncle Oliver s
Last Fourth


Oliver, as we used to call him, was a
natural marshal of the day. The Fourth
OF July was as sacred to him as Sun
day, and his folks used to rejoice that
it didn't come only once year. For
80 consecutive times, except once when
be had the cholera morbus, he was
head horseman of the procession; and
got into the habit of il.
IF our town didn't have ce1ebra-
ton land of course we used to get
tired once in awhile, and say: Let the
rest take holdD, he would go to the
nearest disturbance on that day, and
offer his time, and pay half the ex-
penses or less, and, Of course, they
were glad to welcome him on such
terms as that, and put him forward in
a way that he esteemed.
"He was the most gorgeous mar
shall of the day that we ever had in
this bailiwick. No slouched-hat rough
rider business for him! Why, the old
Continental shake was good enough,
with a plume that made every rooster
and peacock on the route raving crazy.
He had great big half-moon epaulettes,
with fringes like whipcord, and red
sash, and sword that would have
killed Goliath, and pair Of pants with
stripes down the sides stabbing his
shin-knuckles, that he never wore ex-
cept upon military occasions. He
used to raise horses expressly for these
affairs, and | don't know how many
generations o. steeds he curved and
twisted up and down the roads with
him on different occasions. Nobody
ever used to think, in his prosperous
days, that the Fourth of July was at its
very finest, unless Uncle Oliy-:' steered
the procession, and rode up and down
the street on various specimens of gal
lop.
well, it was all right as long as
he was head-diver in the social swim;
but after awhile he sort of lost his
property, and grew old, and wasn't
particularly in demand anywhere. But
he didn't know that he wasn't, and
kept right on being marshal of the
day, whether they wanted him or not.
OF course there were other and young
er and richer men who coveted their
chance to show off; and once in awhile
some brave captain or colonel that the
people wanted to see in that place.
They used to stand back, at first. in
Difference to Uncle divers age and
previous condition; but finally they
began to snub him little.
well, he never had been in the
habit of taking lessons in being
snubbed, so he kept right on. just the
same 80 ever, and spoke the longest
pieces when they were getting up the
show, and dictated how it was to be
done, and put himself in as marshal
long alter he stopped paying cent for
orator and firecrackers and roman
candles. They got to having their
preparatory meetings on the sly, and
elected another man marshal instead of
him; but that didn't seem to do any
good; he'd be there all the same,
cooked hat. epaulettes, red sash, long
sword. striped pants and all; and on
as good a horse as he could get, which
of late years wasn't much of foam
ing, prancing steed; and the other
marshal either had to look out and not
run over him, or to keep from being
run over by him. Everybod-. got to
laughing at him, and at his old-fash-
Toned ways in the saddle; and his boys
were all dead, or moved away, so there
wasn't one of 'em left to knock the
dressing out of anybody that sneered
at their cid 1ather.
We'll, one Fourth OF July we in
tended to have everything regardless.
The lieutenant governor was going to
be there, and the | est criminal lawyer
anywhere round was to be the orator,
and the brass band had learned eight
new pieces for the occasion, and the
firemen were coming out with their
new engine, and it was intended that
there should be very hot time in the
old town from midnight to midnight
We mustn't have Uncle Oliver in the
way this time everybody said. Maj.
Palmer must be marshal of the day,
and the old man must lie down and fan
himself"
Maj. Paine, had just got back from
the war. had been wounded three
times, taken prisoner and, escaped, ETC.,
and he was the hero of the vicinity.
He was a modest man, too, but he
knew how to do things, and could
make horse take two-steps all over
the village corporation. OF course we
had to have the major, and not Uncle
Oliver; and the only way to head him
off was to tell a committee to go and
inform him that his services would not
be required that day.
The committee said that the old
man replied; Certainly, certainly, gem
tlemen,' but that tears rolled down his
cheeks when he utterel the, words.
and he added: I suppose can march
in the procession somewhere And
they replied: oh, of course And the
old man stumped along away back
toward the rear, with his uniform on.
but looking so sad and humble and
everlastingly put down, that every
body pitied him. It's the first time
Uncle oliver has put foot to ground
0a the Fourth of July, for 80 years.
said old Shubal Leonard
We'll. Maj. Palmer. he was Waiting his
horse up and Sown the line, just as we
wanted him to. and putting on all
the scallops we could have desired
from so modest man, when he
caught sight of Uncle Oliver march
ing in rank by himself, and his head
down, and tears rolling along his
checks. Now, brave men are always
big-hearted ones, and the major man