The San Francisco call., 1905-08-14
OCCIDENTAL
ACCIDENTALS
By A. ]. Waterhouse

~ H. the Whitewashy Bird is very
fine bird.
And very sweet singer is he,
Though his style all the while is ex-
tremeIy absurd,
But that doesn't matter TO me.
You see
1t doesn't much matter to me;
For the song that he Sings is exceedingly
clear.
And also, / fancy remarkably queer,
But ever and ever my spirit is stirred
by the lol,iIop song of the Wnitewashy
Bird:
''Ite stole few millions.
S-s-st " Mh.sper it, ltush.
The calsomine 5 ready
My tail brBssl.
He stole few mnl.ons,
a ilulcrous wnnl-
But The cuss Nnu stole rations,
prison for him.!
Oh, sweet is the song of the White wa shy
Bird,
As I'm Sure you must know If his lay
you have heard.
Oh. the White washy Bird is prevalent
! Though its scng on occasion is low;
In fact. 1T prefeis that 1t shouldn't be
heard,
And perhaps you have noticed It's SO,
You know
| | oftsn have noticed It's SO.
And it frequently Lights ON the State
House or hall,
With its tal like brush never resting
at all,
| And its sung is the queerest you ever
have heard,
/ The lahdedah song of the Whtewashy
Bird
"He glafted with grafters.
S-s-st. Whisper 1t. Hush!
The whitewash is ready,
Get onto my brush!
He grated with grafters,
HIS pull is beallt
But the wretch who steals raticns
A prison will suit
Oh, the song may be QUEER of the White
washy bird
But I'll bet YOU four dollars its carol
you've heard.
FABLE OF Tli.s SOCIETY LEADER.
-, DREAMED last night" said the
society leader. that [ died and
went TO heaven
What a lovely dream her COM
panicn said
Well. / don't know. ST. Peter met
me at the gate-he was perfectly
charming ano affable old mau-and i'm
niediately invited me in.
Why, this is so sweet of you ] re-
marked. J was afraid / should have to
show some credentials orwell, some
thing Or other of that kind
: Not at all; not at ALL he answered.;
we used to insist on that. but we have
got onto better way. We let every
body in, and those VINO desire to come
cut and try the cellar have the pfivi-
lege.
What everybody? ] shrieked, for
you can ina aine how shocked | was
Yes. everybody. he replied.
Including those who are-well, just
nobedies?
'Certainly,
.of course / hesitated about going in
at all, for / realized that the society
| in there must be very mixed. TO say the
least StiIl it was heaven, you know
l and SO Thought perhaps it would be
| best to take chance, gathered UP
my skirts very carefully-fer how
could tell whom ! WAS gong to meet?
--and entered the gate. AFTER l had
been inside a few minutes ] came back
to the gate and really Lreathed easier,
for you have no idea of what mixed
mob it was-people of no social stand
! ing wha tever, you know
Il don't see any Uf our set here,
| said TO ST. Peter.
He sort OF studied minute, and
then replied:
/ .'N-o-no: my recollection is that the
most of them concluded to try the eel
lar.
Imagine my feelings. | was sanding
there, holding my skirts very carefully
! and wondering what it would be best
/ for me to do, when | awakened. |
never was SO relieved in my life. IT
| makes me saudder yet when think OF
/ it,
but of course heaven is not at all
like that" her companion remarked.
Rev Niceman has told MS all about IT.
/ and it Is not all us you describe 1T, and
| of course he knows
II do hope So. said the Society
Leader, and again she shuddered.
Moral:-Iieaven will not need to set
! up any bars, the sheep and goats nat
uraily will separate themselves.
Moral 2:-lteaven will not be heaven
unless 1t is our kind.
rs Biings wealthy?'
..UnGoubtedly. All the. newspapers
refer 10 hin, as our prominent fellow
Citizen"
rs he very wealthy?
mo: tho newspapers never mention
/ him as our leading feilow-eitizen.
.she married him, you know. in or
der to reform him.
Did she succeed
..Well+-ye-e -es; but she admitted to
me the other day that when she con-
/ templated the result she realized that
/ it was a.casc of wasted effort"
She says that she has a mind of
/ her own
well, the rest of lis ought to feel
grateful
''vhy?'
Why, to reflect that it is not ours. :