Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-05-20

cafe Of one of the large hOtels yester
day when he thought he'd play trick
| on his waiter. "See that man at the
| next table, George?" he said.
| The waiter nodded assent.
| "That's DR.. Alonzo Tubbs, the Mis-
souri, legislator, who is trying TO stop
all tipping" The waiter grew inter-
| ested at once.
| well, amt dat too bad ne saio'
Cabs been waitin' on him. too. IL
"Well, you won't get any tip there'
said the travelling man.
"Ah suttingly treated him right, re-
piled the waiter
A few minutes later the man at the
other table left and the waiter re-
turned to the travelling man.
"Well," said the drummer, what dld
tell you?'
excuse me. sab, but All thinks you
to!e me er fabrication" said the wait
| err, grinning. "Dat man amt legis-
latah-he's a gentleman"
, The man had given him quarter
| Kansas City Journal.
Gen. FitZhugh Lee of Virginia adj
dressed the New Jersey legislature
short time ago in connection with
commemorative celebration at the MS
toric town of Jamestown. After ms
speech the conversation drifted to the
early history of Virginia and lncldeh-
! tally the matrimonial alliance between
John Rolfe and Pocahontas.
81 never discuss marriage, saiu
e General Lee. 'without thinking of an
g old colored preacher in my state WHO
l was addressing his dark-skinned con-
| gregation when white man rose up
i'm the back of the building.
e "'Mr. Preacher said the white man.
O "'Sir to YOU said the parson.
. "'Mr Preacher, you are taking
about Cain, and you say he got mar
3 ried in the land Of Nod after he Killed
II Abel But the Bible only mentions
e Adam and Eve as being on the earth
ot that time, Who, then. did cam
marry? Did he marry his mother?
1.-The colored preacher snorted WITH
| unfeigned contempt.
".Huh.' he said. You hear dat'
bredderen and sisters? You hear dat
r fool question l am aXed? cam. ne
10 went TO de land o. Nod, just as de Good
Book tell us. and in de land o Noe
=, cain gits so lazy an so shif'less dat
M he up an nIarries Il gal o one o deh
If no-'count pore white trash families DAT
y de inspired apostle didn't consider fit
- tin 10 mention in de Holy Word. -
PHILADELPHIA Saturday Evening Post.
III moralist started n to lecture
TO smoker.
se How many cigars do YOU smoke ;
:. day." he asked.
TN average about three 5-cen
cigars" said the man.
Now. did you ever figure up VIVA
=, YOU have wasted in Tmoke? asked TN
n,oralist. Three 5-cant cigars amour
st to $50 a year. You hav" smoked fort.
of years. That money yoH have wasted !
ne put out at compound interest TO
of twenty years at per cent would max
nut you $7.000.''
H. Probably that is true" said tn
smoker but in glanrirg over the ia
rolls few days ago I didn't see wher
&C you had turned in any part Of any 81. Ou
ho YOU have saved by not smoking.
he A Kansas man who recently passo
ger through Georgia and stopped for a da
a. in the mountainous sections brough
Sc this story home with him:
raj Several years ago ther" was lon
-as dry spell in Georgia. About the begin
.ee ming Of it the wife of one of the noun
ne lt3fntcfS u1et. He (iScp1iToidtC hu'
I'VE band followed her to the grave. and wa
ich the last to leave the bllrying groun,
!. His foot prints remained. large and dis
tinct in the clay beside the grave. ST
ri,I weeks afterward my friend drove out
see how the widOwer was doing. II
~ was found sitting in the door Of h
ty- cabin staring hopelessly at the cloudles
Is" sky.
her EFF hit would only turn in an rain
va he said, L wouldn't ask nothin' Of M
my body
my "'The dry weather IS lad for tt
inc crops the visitor remarked.
rof. ""Taint crops said the widowe
:. hits Miss Seliny Johnson. She swea,
eat she won't marry me till it rains
me why not?' the visitor asked.
OF "'She lows it wouldn': be showi
proper respect. for my first wife
marry before my tracks in the grav'
,;ce yard is washed out. l shore do wish
would turn in an rain. l been COURT
v" her six weeks. Good Lord. ma
the KANT wait on the weather forever a"
ing Kansas City Journal.
lists
of eyes replied the man from Arkal
be sas when asked if he had ever e:
and perienced any cyclones in his localit
I've been through cyclone or tW
and don't banker after any more"
ling "Can you give us any particula
in about them?" was asked.
"Why, yes. few. When the la
cyclone came along I was out in Il
), field blowing with a four-mewl teal
ring I started to run for cover. but T h,
she not gone mOre'n four rods when Il
she wind picked me up and the next thin
,ped 7 knew T was astri,le Of tho hack
re- one O them nevis and we We're DO
in tree top fifty feet above t
ground. The handles had been twis
the ed out Of the pillow and driven throu
yor- the trunk of the tree and one Of t
wn- other nevis was hanging to them
-. his tall
:, NJ "That was queer thing. And
ct you were left in tree top?"
II was"