davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1905-09-15

yelled McLure to Curkendan, who
had started off down the street
counting Zone, two, three" in a
loud voice.
Taking three feet at a stride, Mr..
CurkendalI' finally reached the forty
mark. He was out of breath from
shouting the numbers and stopped
for a moment.
The quietude of the region start
led him.
Looking back, he saw that not a
soul was in sight. The party had
logged it and FASTENED back to the
hotel to await the return of the lat
est victim.
at must have been a funny sight
to see me striding down that desert
ed street counting as loud r. could
Well, I got my kidding when ] re
turned" continued Mr.. Curkendall-
-eeThere is another phase to the
story. so the others in the party
claim. ] don't know, for 1 was busy
at the time. 1t is said, however,
that certain Fairmonter, who Is
very fond Of seeing the finish OF q
good race, followed me on the side,
walk to be at the finish. and that he
also was duped. All I can say !:
! that he was nowhere in sight wher
/ reached that forty mark"
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1905-09-15

croas statements made by the Parker
combine against him and the cabinet
Officers, he would not have ventured
to practice the bit of deception he
did in that interview, that did not
really happen but was published I'M
Ger the guise of one. Those fell
la:s last fall soon found to their
sorrow they had made a grave mis-
take and arc doubtless regretful even
to this day.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1905-09-15
GOOD JOKE
PLAYED ON
CURKENDALL

NJ r. Curkendall. eS-depuIy
sheriff. attending the state fair at
Wheeling, wears a smile that won't
come off. He is thinking of one OF
Bernie McLure's new pranks and the
application which pleased Mr.. Cur
kendall so much was one that placed
the laugh on him. The one posi-
bic chance for him to escape the
poiut was lost when he played the
Damon and Pythias act with wal
ton Miller, cashier of the Bank oil
Fairmont, in trying to relieve that
gentleman from little arduous Ia
bor which had been set down by NC
Lure and the crowd for him to per-
form. Listen.
On one of his late trips into Ohio,
the enemv's country, Mcclure, who Is
one of the genial proprietors OF ire
NCcIure hotel. was made a victim ni
n new fake foot race joke. As II
did not cost him any money, ms many
of his former experiences wlth
sprinters had. and because it appeal
c5 IN him that his Ohio friends had
made a monkey of him, he decIdeH
To bring the new race into west n
ginia for the edification and deil2nt
or the hotel patrons. That he work
cd it well is assured by Harry d.
Clerk. of this place, Smith Hood oil
Fairmont. and others from nearby
towns. who were early victims.
While Mr.. Curkendall, Mr.. Miller
and number of other gentlemen
were standing in the lobby of the
NcLure at an early hour "Wednesday
morning, they were attracted by an
argument between Mr.. Mcclure and
y dapper looking young man. NC
Lure was telling the other fello"
that he did not care to run again.
as he had won the foot race that day
and did not care to try again.
The argument waNed warm with
the stranger insisting that the race
he run over again and offering TO
wager a large sum on his chances.
Mcclure held back. but finally the
size of the bet tempted him and ne
agreed to sprint again and the
money was placed.
Then it was noised about the cor
ridors that there was to be a foot
race for a large bet between Mr.. Nc
Lure and the stranger, who was
likely professional. A crowd soon
gathered, ready to accompany the
participants. r.
Harry Clark approached Mr.. Cur
kendall, telling him to come along
as there was going to be some fun,
meaning that the Joke was beng
planned for another. Curkendall
thought the Joke was the fact that
a professional was going to separate
McLure from his money. He went.
Strange to say, Chapline street
at / 80 that morning was deserted.
When the party arrived. the stranger
commenced to step off five yards
which. Mr.. Mcclure had conceded
him. Mcclure objected and the
stakeholder offered 70 measure the
distance. Again objections from
Mcclure, who said that a stakehold-
er had no right-to mix up.
SI,et me" commenced Mr.. Mil
Ter. but not wishing to see his friend
take extra steps, Curkendall butted
in. eKind sir, allow me to measure
the distance he said, and his offer
was accepted.
The fifteen feet were soon meas
ured off and then it occurred to the
rncers that, as the distance had to be
fifty Yards, it was just as we'll for
Mr.. Curlendall to step that off. lie
agreed. Ill
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1905-09-15

-.'lc French newspaper corresPon-
dcnt who published what purported
to he an interview he had secured
from the President of the United
States, relative to the peace question.
was quickly branded by Mr.. Roose-
welt as a liar in language that could
not be mistaken, and at the same
time the President gave him a les
son in ethics he will not forget. The
correspondent sailed from this
country the same day his purported
interview with the President came
out, and, that alone is sufficient evil
dence of his guilt. He was afraid
to stand fire. But, his guilt was
clearly established, when the Presi-
dent denounced him and his decep-
ton.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1905-09-15

Senator Stephen B. Elkins is said
to be coming aroundat last to the
rate regulation attitude. His
friends have ever been of the oPin-
ion that he had that attitude, until
special announcement was made that
he was coming to it, and now their
faith is all the stronger. Some
time back it was announced that he
hoped to bring the President to his
point of view, an announcement en-
tirely superfiuous as the President
has long been on record as even far
more strongly favorable to rate regu-
lation than Senator Elkins even
now is. And as Senator EllSins is
the chairman of the committee on
this subject it ought now to have
smooth sailing.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1905-09-15

The responsibility of one officer
or onv officer should not be placed on
a committee or some other officer.
let such officer do his duty and there
will be no occasion to try to place
the matter on some one else.s
shoulder
The city council should not forget
to give due attention to the oPPor-
tunitv now at hand to widen Trad
ers ailey. There will never be bet
ter opportunity, and it is hoped the
council will avail itself of it.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1905-09-15
= = 4 q : . o . 3 : 2
GREATLY REDUCED
One-Way
COLONIST FARES
to the West
via
.,1+imore & Ohio Railroad
Baltimore & Ohio Railroad


Commencing Sept. 14th
and continuing daily to and
including Oct. so, 1905, the
Baltimore & Ohio Railroad
will place on sale daily, from
all stations, ONE-WAY
COLONIST TICKETS to
principal points in California
Arizona, British Columbia,
Colorado. Montana, New
Mexico, Oregon. South Da-
kota. Texas, Utah, Washing
ton. Wyoming, etc, at Great
" Reduced Rates.
For tickets and full in
formation, call on or address
Ticket Agents, B. & O. Rail
ro3. 1Hsepto3ooct
- =. : :: 9, ;. 8; y y 4 =
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1905-09-15

If that French correspondent had
been wise to what happened last fall
Just before the election, when Presi-
dent Roosevelt issued a statement
denouncing the concocted and sland-
The Grit-advocate., 1905-06-30
OLD PRAYER A GOOD ONE,
Petition for Landlords Offered In Eng.
and Many Years Aqo.

In prayer book of the time of King
Edward W. of England, appears the
followlns prayer for landlords: The
earth Is thine. 0 Lord, and all that is
contaln"d therein, notwithstanding
thou hast given possession of it to
the children of men, to pass over the
time OF their short pilgrimage in this
vale OF misery. We heartily pray thee
to send thy Holy Spirit into the hearts
of those that possess the grounds,
pasture and dwelling places of the
earth. that they, remembering them
selves to be thy tenants, may not
rack nor stretch out the rents of their
houses and lands nor yet take unrea-
sonable fines and incomes after the
manner of covetous woridlings; but
so let them out to others that the in
habitants thereof may both be able
to pay The rents and also honestly to
live and nourlsh their families and
relieve the poor. Give them grace
also TO consider that they are but
strangers and pilgrims in this world"
The Grit-advocate., 1905-06-30

then the eye became a great blazing
the crashing thunder of flying wheels
heavy laden. The Dominion Limited
was coming west
There came two frightened snorts
from the engine whistle, a series of
screeches as the brake shoes bit the
steel, and confused whirring that
told of reversed drivers and an open
sand-box. Then the long train, with a
humping of draw-heads, came to q
stop at Victoria Siding.
Every one aboard seemed to be in
terested in this sudden change from
the noisy. swinging rush coastwards
to the calm, dense stiffness OF this
desolate spot. Late diners left their
coffee, tired travellers pushed back
their berth curtains. and the men in
the smoking compartment dropped
cards and stories.
They saw Flicker Brown calmly
swinging red lantern. The BRASS
buttoned conductor saw him, too. and
lost no time in seeking him out.
What in thunder do you mean by
stopping the Limited at this forsaken
hole, and that with us twenty minutes
behind schedule?" he demanded, red
of face and putting from his dash up
the track.
Orders" replied Flicker with unus-
ual brevity. and handed out message
damp from the copy press.
The conductor grabbed the sheet
and held it close to his nickeled Ian
tern.
Hold Victoria Siding until 8:32,
he read. Now what idiot sends me
such an order as this? Why there's
The Grit-advocate., 1905-06-30

Every housekeeper should know
that II they will buy Defiance Colo
Water Starch for laundry csc they
will save not only time. because It
never sticks to the iron. but because,
each package contains 16 Ozone full
pound-while all other Cold Water
Starches are put up in A-pound pack.
ages. and the price Is the same. 10
cents. Then again because Defiance
Starch Is free from all Injurious chem
icals. II your grocer tries to sell you
. 12-oz. package 1t is because he has
. stock on hand which he wishes to
dispose Of before he puts in Defiance.
He knows that Defiance Starch has
printed on every package in large let
ters and figures "16 ozs." Demand Do
nance and save much time and money
and the annoyance OF the iron stick
Ing Defiance never stickA
The Grit-advocate., 1905-06-30
MISS GENEvIvE NAY.
,CA1ARRH Of STOMACH
CURED BY PE.RU-NA,

Miss Genevive May, 1917 8. Meridian
St., indianapolis, Ind, Member Second
High School Alumni Assn, writes:
s'Peruns Is the finest regulator of a
dls0rdered stomach have ever found.
1t certainly deserves high praise, for 1t
Is skiiLfuLly prepared.
II was in a terrible condition from a
neglected case of catarrh Of the
stomach. My food had long ceased to
be of any good and only distressed me
after eating. 1 was nauseated, had
heartburn and headaches, and felt run
down completely. But in two weeks
after took Peruna was changed
person. A few bottles of the medicine
made a great change, and in three
months my stomach was cleared Of
catarrh, and my entire system in q
better condition. ."-Genevive May.
Write DIR. Hartman, President of The
Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus, Ohio,
for free medical advice. All cores
pondence held strictly confidential
The Grit-advocate., 1905-06-30
Growth Of New York.

New York claims that by 1910 it
will have passed London in population
and will be the largest city in the
world. 1t is believed that the state
census being taken at present will
show that the city has passed the
100000 mark. In 1901 London had a
population of 4,53G,541, while in 1900
New York had 3,427,2O2 people. not
counting the population of Jersey City
and the other populous suburbs on the
New Jersey side. 1t would surprise
shobody, except possibly the Londoners,
If long before 1910 New York had be-
come the largest city in the world.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-06-30
Story That Was Never Read,

a pitiful story is told of Philip
wyltcr. One day a particularly good
idea came to him and he sat down to
his typewriter with enthusiasm. He
wrote rapidly for hours and had near
ly finished the story when a friend
came in. Read that" said Marston
proudly, "and tell me what you think
of IT," The friend stared at the happy
author and then at the blank sheets
of ,aper in his hand before he was
able 10 understand the little tragedy.
The ribbon had been taken from the
typewriter and Marston's toll was for
nothing. He never had the heart to
wrire that story again.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-06-30
Bill Skies Up to Date,

Behind IN adventitious tree
The modern burglar stands;
ltthc aud sinewy figure he.
With kids upon his hands;
For thus he trumps the thumb mari
trick
Taught US by foreign lands.
His drcss-suit bag contains the tools
With which his bread he earns
Sheffield no finer instruments
From steel, well tested, turns.
His bag holds silent matches. too
No other sort he burns.
His motor cars a stylish one;
His goggles and his mask
Provide him with a neat disguise
For his nefariouS task.
What vIllage constable would dare
To any questions ask?
Plotting. crlb-cracking, noting off.
Onward through lie he goes.
No Durgling tasks by him begun
Til he has planned its close
Som thing attempted. some one done, "
And not till then repoSe.
Thanks for the moral. burgling friend
w from your acts coilatc;
Your strange experience one thing
Mixes clear past all debtac:
Whltever be our walk in life,
W. must be up to date!
The Grit-advocate., 1905-06-30
Flicker Browns
FO(RIH
~. .lIZZZL

Copyright. 1903, by The Short Story Publsh;ns
Co. All rights reserved.
To say that Victoria Siding, one of
the minor marks of punctuation on
the long line of the Canadian Pacific
road. was lonesome place would be
to woefully understate the exceptional
advantages it offered to hermits in
search Of congenial place of resi-
dence
Into such an environment Fate, with
its customary strong sense of humor,
had pitchforked Flicker Brown, a ma
tive nf New England, with an ample
inheritance of all the characteristics
of his birthplace. including an intense
patriotism and an unquepchable To-
quacity.
Now. what In tillieludium do you
suppose Is in that box?"
The SUBJECT of his inquiry was
long, rectangular, shallow box of new
quarter-inch pine. 1t might have held
scythe blades, or clothes pins, or
pressed corned beef in cans. Ger
tainly there was nothing strikingly
mysterious about it. It was an ordi-
nary, commonplace, everyday sort of
box. yet for Flicker 1t had GER
tain mysterious fascination which
easily prevailed over the not particu-
larly distracting cares Of his Office.
He carried the box into the station
where he could look al it while getting
breakfast, leaving the task of rolling
in bp lotN
Now what do you suppose is in
that box?"
Once at the business he quite forgot
his scruples. Up came one corner,
then the other. Next he pried up the
sides and carefully .-anked out the
wire nails. Under the cover was a
layer of excelsior,-a momentary but
irritating delay. Lifting this, he
paused and gave utterance to long
whistle.
"Wh-e-e-ew! Flags, by ginger! The
good old Stars and Stripes, too. Great
switches! 1t seems like years since
I've seen one. 'Hurrah! Hurrah The
flag that made us free!'" and the
impetuous Flicker, waving one in each
uduu, udICueu dUOuL lue EOOm. 1uey
were cheap, printed flags. about ten
and half by fifteen inches in size,
but there were three bundles of them,
dozen in a bunch. and each flag
mounted on a five-foot stick. In a
moment he was eXcitedly paving out
more excelsior.
"Jumpin' beeswax! Fireworks, or
I'm Piute! Rockets, pinwheels, Re-
man candles, cannon crackers, punk,
and the whole outfit.
mo sire-ree. No Canucker'll ever
set these off on no Queens birthday.
not If can help it," declared Flicker
Indignantly. And he continued, will
Victoria Siding celebrate tonight?
Well, l guess"
Then on his kindled enthusiasm
came dampening thought. What
satisfaction would there be in having
display of fireworks and no one
there to see it but himself? Never
before had the human barrenness of
British Columbia made itself felt SO
strongly.
In his glance there was sadness
or as near sadness as the patriotic
and conversational Flicker ever got
as he looked at his preparations
The Grit-advocate., 1905-06-30
WindmiIIs.

Almost the entire West is covered
witt windmills. The first windmill in
America was erected at jamestown.
Va, IN 1622-used for grinding corn.
All we're. until some time in the
sixties. of the old. clumsy kind. They
were next used for flourmill at New
Amsterdam in 1923. and sawmill in
1929. They are now used to an i'm.
mense extent for raising water for
irrieating purposes; under favorable
conditions. in the West. they have
been known to raise a sufficient
of water to irrigate ten acres Of lana
The Grit-advocate., 1905-06-30
Inquest Over Treasure Trove.

In england when hidden treasure is
found the law requires the coroner to
hold an inquest over it. Formerly it
wa ii coroner's duty to hold an in
que in case of a burglary. A statute
of Eiward |. DEGREES that when
coruuers are commanded by the kings
bai0s or by the honest men of the
county they shall go to the places
whore any be slain or suddenly dead
or wounded or where houses are
brof,n n or where treasure is said to
be md, and shall forwith command
four # the next towns, or five. or six,
to appear before him in such a place"
The Grit-advocate., 1905-06-30

There would be no spectators at Vic.
tOria Siding's Fourth of July celebra-
ton
Wont. eh? BY Christopher, we'll
see about that"
1t was then that Flicker had his
inspiration.
When darkness began to shut in
around the lonely little station, when
the great spruce forest seemed to ad-
vance until it hemmed him in closer
than ever. he stood in the doorway
and whistled Yankee Doodle" beat
Ing out bass accompaniment on the
flot% panels with his heels.
Far off in the blackness where the
darkening sky met the dark woods in
an irregular line began to glow a sin.
gle bright eye. AS 1t grew in size the
lew rumble took on heavier voluus;
The Grit-advocate., 1905-06-30
How THE TIBErANs DRESS.
Similarly in Ordinary Costumes Of
Both Sexes,

Lay and cleric alike. the inhabitants
or Las are entirely similar to those
OF the ...t of Tibet. says Worlds
work. There is. indeed, but one diff
ference ven in the dress. In one
provlnce through which we passed
the women use a turquoise-studded
halo "a ii headdress: in Lassa a fllet
ornanel'gI in the same way is bound
close o""H over their hair, f1uffed out
on e1thrr side. and falls down over
the shoulders. 1t is one of the most
becomihe ways of doing the hair that
nave ever seen. and for certain
type u" entire dress of woman Of
Lassa would be becoming costume
Tor fancy dress ball at home.
The dress of the men and the wom-
Ell IS very similar. There is a single
undersament and one heavy native
cloth robe, dun or crimson in color,
and usually patched. which both
sexes Iu.. in around the waist with a
glrdle-'Ac men pouching it at the
waist 10 form the only pocket that
they US,
The Grit-advocate., 1905-06-30
Exactness Overdone.

4 ale is told of minister. great
urcr onist in the use of words.
who exactness sometimes destroyed
tho lrce of what he was saying. On
ouc occasion, in the course of an elo-
quCu, prayer, he pleaded:
hears of this congregation and give
then new eyes to see and new i'm
pulse 70 do. Send down Thy lever or
lecy5r. according to Webstcr's or
WorC'ster's dictionary, whichever
Tho usest. and pry them into ac-
tiv''v Under the Spreading Chest.
nut Tree" Everybody's Magazine.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-06-30

no train due either way for four
hours"
"Them's the ORDERS" said Flicker.
"Mebbe it's special"
While something like three hundred
passengers were simultaneously in.
vestigating this delay, Flicker got
some matches and created diver
sion. Touching off a red light at
either end of the platform, he revealed
the novel spectacle of Canadian
Pac'Ic railroad station decked out in
American colors. He was sending up
his second rocket when the conductor
rushed back.
"You-you impudent scoundrel!
What do you mean by-by that?" and,
words failing he waved his hand
toward the station.
"Me?" said Flicker "Oh, don't
mean nothing by that; I'm just havin
a little celebration"
celebration! For what?"
"Why, for the Fourth of July. Al.
ways do"
you do, do you? Well, young man,
you're cheeky. Stop it at once! Why,
I've got Lord Windover-Breers and
two Privy Councillors aboard. They'll
be red hot. Stop it, say"
Guess not. old man; this is my pri
vate blowout, and she's gcin
through lords or no lords. You can
tell His Royal Thingumbobness that
for me. Look out, I'm going to touch
off another" and as Flicker applied
the slow-match there was a swish and
a roar as the rocket raced up into
the sky to burst into balls of red,
white and blue.
The conductor retreated into the
station, and the little knot of passen.
gers which had surrounded them was
quickly augmented by enthusiastic re.
cruits from the train. who practically
testified to their appreciation of the
humor of the situation by hilariously
assisting Flicker in the task of setting
off his fireworks. They were deer
in the fun when the angry conductor
burst forth from the station and
rushed toward the victim of misplaced
patriotism.
"Hi, you agent! What dye meant
Headquarters say they didn't send out
any such order"
"Who said they did?" and Flicker
touched the burning punk to the fuse
of a big Roman candle "Thems nv
orders. Yes, my orders; that's what |
said. Hey. keep off there. you beef.
eating Brtisher, or I'll rlug you full
of hot balls"
'Ill have you discharged to-mor.
row." roared the irate official, display.
ing a physical discretion in the face
of Flicker's awkward weapon that lu.
dicrously contrasted with his fire-eat
ing mood.
You can't" said Flicker, as he tri
umphantly blazed away. I'm going
TO resign tonight"
And as the train ignominiously re-
treated from an unmistakable Ameri.
can victory ringing cheer swent up
from knot of Yankee passengers on
its rear platform, in commemoration
of the first and last Fourth OF Ju.y
celebration at Victoria Siding.
Flicker's resignation was wired that
evening to the superintendent in the
following iaconic terns:-
I'm through here and gone West.
Send on another man"
All of which came duly to pass. The
new man. 1t is needless to say, Ia q
lonely Nlt loyal Briton.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-06-30

TO the housewife who has not yet
become acquainted with the new things
Of everyday use in the market and
who is reasonably satisfied with the
old. We would suggest that = trial Of
Defiance Cold Water Starch be made
at once. Not alone because II is guar
anteed by the manufacturers to be su-
perior to any other brand. but because
while all the other kinds contain but
IL oZs. 1t Is safe to say that the lady
who once uses Defiance Starch will use
no other. Quality and quantity must
win.