St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1905-08-04
A Few Thorns.

The EQuitaDft SEEKS ItNNi.Ni
And would suggest-wouldn You
That they smite with due might
And make the thing right
And for receiver appoint THE REVIEW
Many an "old hoss' is captlvated
by the "pony ballet at the Venice
show on the Trail.
Young Germans Causing Kaiser
Much Worry" What are the
critters doingl Teething'
At last the bones Of John Paul
Jones are resting where John has
no kick coming. And Jones he
pays the freight"
Some physicians when in doubt
hold their diagnosis just after hold
ing the post-mortem. Evidently
they are anxious to be accurate.
At Santiam a Miss Miles is sick
with measles. Occasionally town
may have quite long spell OF sick
ness-but seldom has Miles OF it.
Now that we have tasteless food
there is no good reason why the
government efforts to produce
spineless cactus should not be a
success.
The man who has been dynamit-
ing the Kansas saloons is receiving
the solid approval of all those who
have tasted the Kansas prohibition
brand of red-licker.
Eleven kids were in juvenile
court last Saturday in Portland on
charge of stealing watermelons. In
view of their meloncolic condition
the Judge let 'em go.
Now that Edison has once more
solved the problem of the light and
lasting storage battery It is to be
hoped that once more the sinking
brand of autos will be ensmalled.
Woodmen OF the World are 10 go
up the Columbia next Sunday. II
is anticipated that there will be a
large crowd and the Choppers ex-
pect to have a wow-wow of time.
Baker county may be a hustler
but its people are sure dead easy.
One Of the greenies from there met
a confidence man in Portland Satur-
day, loaned him $50, and then
expected the money back. IL came
nit.
When the Ma (tionaD Bis( (cuit)
Co (mpany) first invented the Ma
Disco wafer II fois,ed upon an
indulgent public the best imitation
food ever produced. They taste
like a flexible chunk of fir sawdust
padded with piece of porous
plaster.
Louis Schott was last week ar
rested at Tillamook and the charge
was that he shot Frank Knott when
Knott was not doing a thing TO
Schott. Schott claims that the shot
he shot did not harm Knott in fact
the shot that shot Knott was not
shot by Shott: farther than that the
accused man swears that when
Knott was shot Scho,t was not in
the town. Knott declares that the
shot that Schott shot at Knott shot
Knott-the shot entering his body
in divers quantities: and physicians
could not extract all the shot that
Schott shot into Knott. II will be
a corker for the juries. II Knott
was shot and Schott was not and
Schott shot not the shot that shot
Knott, who shot knottl And was
not Schott half-shot when he shot ?
You may talk about the man behind:
The man behind the star,
The man behind the throttle.
Or the man behind the bar.
The man behind the brickyarl.
The man behind the bat.
But worst OF all : the thcater-
Where the mans behind the hat.
lie may he behind the orchestra,
but that is not ban;
lie may he behind pillar.
Or behind some other man:
H. behind IN getting tickets.
but he will not care for that
4 the seat he's paid for isn't
Just behind woman's hat.
The man behind the hat ia church
Is difficult to phaxe,
For the man behind the pulpit
Cannot hold him with his gaze.
iell done at frequent intervals
Aud dream he's at the bat;
iet he awskens softly
Does this man behind the hat.
Il the theateT il is different
And he swears il isn't odd
When, Ia see behind the footlights,
lie has given up his wal.
n vain he cranes his neck aloit-
BENDS this way and bends that:
lc can't tell what the hero's like