West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1905-03-09
He is Not In a Happy Frame Of Mind
on Account Of
BILIOUS STATE OF
AFFAIRS In CHARLESTON.
Investigating Committees the Order Of
the Day to Worry and Annoy the two
Gevernors-He Leads the March
at Grand Ball Given In Hon
or Of Departure Of Mem
bers Of Legislature.

Things are getting bilious down
here. They remind me of an old
maid with the tooth ache. am not
in happy frame of mind myself.
Things are not moving Administra.
lively. Everything is being done to
annoy and worry Cows. A. b. White
and VIM. NJ. o. Dawson. When
things get to moving a little slow
some one moves the appointment of
an investigating committee. This
raises the necessary enthusiasm
among the United Order of White
washers. II means more work for
them at union prices. The latest
investigating committee was ap.
pointed by the Senate to investigate
Gov. A. b. White and Capt. John
Baker White, because the Captain
wrote a few non resident corpora
tion friends that he had an option
on few gold bricks which was on
the Legislative market. Like Col.
Mulberry Sellers, he saw millions
in IT, AS the corporations have not
been prospering under the new tax
laws the genial Captain concluded
that i: would be no more than fair
and just TO offer those who are so
unfortunate as to live out side the
State some inducement to come in
and invest in our unlimited resourc-
es. At the present time about the
best investment you can make in the
State is the Legislature. They are
offering their wares at reduced rates
as they are compelled to vacate
within the next few days.
This investigating committee has
been the means Of cutting off Diplo-
matte relations between the Cover
nor and the Senate. Senator Char
ley Caldwell has declared that he
will swim the Kanawha river in the
floating ice il he don't make Gov.
White climb the center pole to keep
out of his reach. This has caused
intense excitement among the peo
pie and from the present out look
there is going to be some swimming
or climbing.
The Coroner's jury has been re-
summoned to try the death of the
gas and oil BILL The relatives of
the dead bill claim that the last Jury
was packed and that the verdict was
not in accordance with the evidence.
DR.. Thomas Fleming Lanham,
the anti railroad passist, got his two
cent fare bill through the House
without any opposition. This was
a great disappointment TO the Doc
tor and his host Of friends. spent
almost a week in the preparation of
a speech which | loaned the Doctor
to declaim in the event that any one
opposed his two cent fare bill. IL
would have immortalized the Doctor
with the man with the straw hat and
rake. II was a thunder stormer and
lighting combined and it would
have given the Doctor the opportu-
nifty of his life to let her roar. /
am grieved to think it has been los,
TO posterity. The Doctor will have
no occasion to defend the straw hat
and the rake in future legislatures.
lie has been offered the Presidency
Of several railroads that have occa-
sion to pass through West Virginia
to get East and go back West. They
have adopted this method 20 compe
the Dactor to ride on q pass anc
view the scenery from the observa
ton end Of his private car. II is 9
debatabie question in my mind,
however whether the man with th,
straw hat and rake will not raise q
howl when he learns that the Doctor
has been gathered in by the monop
olists. / am ever mindful Of IN,
fact that the ruralisls are very hon
est and sincere in their predilec
tions, and an artist handling th,
| garden seeds from the Governor
establishment can impose upon thei
credulity and secure their supper
so long as he keeps chasing the mo
nopolists through the briary patel
and the garden seed arrives with tb,
Government frank. When ] sa,
this I am not indulging in a fgur,
Of speech, but ] speak from my owl
sad experience Up until a yer,
recent date the man who sent me
package Of garden seed held a mort
gage on my vote. To me, pack
] age Of garden seed, vas a mark o