Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-01-28
Written for The Evening Star.

Don't envy the representative in Congress
representatives life would be truly idyl-
lie and his days work of the exceedingly
simple variety if all he had to do was to
help make laws for "the greatest, grandsSt
and most glorious country on Gods green
fcotstool," as America is sometimes grand
iloquently described in Congress. But alas'
and despite the good intentions OF the Tore
fathers, law-making forms but small part
of representatives. days work. HIS ia.
49, constituents have irrevocably decreed
otherwise They are the people, and the
people rule. Only from IL o'clock In the
| morning until of the afternoon is he per-
mitted to legislate-with Interruptions. The
rest of the time-by far the greater portion
of his waking and working hours-he is err
rand boy and a national lawyer for his con-
stituents and the humility which he dis
plays in these roles, and, withal the aiac-
rity furnished much food for reflection as
to the desirability of being able to write
the letters M. c." In all truthfulness after
his name.
In his role of errand boy representative
finds the hardest and most picturesque part
of his days work. which begins at the
breakfast table with his mail and secretary.
and ends with them somewhere in the wee
sma' hours of the morning after. That is
a rare day which does not bring a score OF
errands that must be rum If a like number
of votes is to be saved to the representative
at the next election. No matter what they
are-how picayune or how easily they could
have been attended to by the constituents
themselves through the channels of prop
erly directed correspondence is not the
part of wisdom to ignore them for MIN
ute after they come to hand. Sad expert
ence has taught congressman that it is best
to run errands first and look after leglsla-
ton later on.
A common errand is that Of securing au-
1,r1r ,tnv~n f III.
known resident of the district, who writes
that she is making a collection, and that
she would dearly love to haye the Pres
ident's and each cabinet members, and
the leading senator's, too, and the Speaker
and a few of the best-known diplomats.
and anybody's else that the representative
thinks would delight the heart of the
daughter of the well-known resident of the
twenty-second congressional district of Hi
nois or the tenth of New York.
Must Get Them Quickly.
The representative has to get these auto
graphs, and get them quickly, If he. does
not care to have his motives doubted, and
reproachful letter from the daughter.
with a significant postscript by the we'll
known resident so the day it Is received
the morning of that day. to be exact-you
can find him petitioning the Secretary of
State for his autograph, while his secre-
tary, who shares all his superior's burdens,
is likewise disturbing the musings Of, say,
the dean of the diplomatic corps, Count
Cassini, the cars Washington representa-
tive.
Another perennial errand that a repre-
sentative must run is for public documents.
The government, is well known, pub
fishes millions of documents yearly, and
there are millions of requests for them,
nearly all being made through members of
the lower house. Even public libraries and
college professors and scientific men, all of
whom ought to know better bother their
various representatives for all sorts of pub
LEGATIONS, when a line to the proper de-
partments would get them the books just
as easily and quickly. But somehow every
body is imbued with the idea that his rep
resentatve ought to and must get him the
pamphlets he wants, and hence, the del
uge of requests, which would undoubtedly
be considerably lessened were 1t not we'll
known fact THAT there is no price marked
on the inside cover of any of Uncle Sam
publications. Something for nothing
therein lies the constituents joy, and the
representative misery finds no comfort
In the knowledge that request after request
Is for publication out of print or for one
never intended for distribution. No matter
| A copy of the book out of print must be
| diligently searched for till unearthed even
| usually the case: and the other one OBJ
| tanned by hook or crook generally, the
| representative has to buy it out of his own
pocket. For constituent Is a queer sort
| of human being-he thinks that his repre-
| sentative is little short of all powerful And
| in a position to do anything he chooses, and
! no excuse, no matter how valid, goes with
| him, and many a national legislator has
| found out to his everlasting sorrow.
Distributing Seeds.
| While the city representative has much
| more trouble with the book fiends matters
are evened up for his country colleague by
| the seed fiends. Much fun is made of rep
| 800
numerous sacks of seeds, the popular idea
seeming to be that the thousands of pack
| ages are sent out promscuously But that
| is far from the fact, and you would soon
/ realize 1t, too, If you were representative
| ana mad about every wife and daughter and
| sweetheart in your district writing to YOU
| that she just dotes on flowers and snch
things. and would you please send her by
| next mail three dozen slips of such and
| such a rose and half a hundred tulin huIhs
| and. yes, she believes she would like sew,
| eral packages of verbena seed for that is
Mr.. So-and-So's favorite flower, and she is
Just dying to plant the bed in the front yard
| with them. And once again woe to tha +
| man who will not stop to swap books for
| the necessary seeds with his city colleague:
| for he will surely know the fury of a wo-
man scorned."
Unhappily for a representative. the de-
mands do not end here. He must secure
tickets to public receptions, choice seats on
the reviewing stands when parades are on
| 49, Scho thSi engraved CARDS giving them
ADMISSION TO the congressional galleries al
thougn such admission is free: Frequently
meet them at the trains and conduct then,
to their boarding houses, and then spend !
| large portion of the time they are in toun
showing them the sights and arranging In
teryiews for them with the President. and
several other noted persons, to boot. In
brief, the representative besides being thei,
errand boy, is now their guide. philosophe,
and Enthusiastically friend-when Il
comes time for them to start homeward
and they find 1t win be necessary to raise
money for the return tickets. Herein lies
one of the reasons why the representative
| who depends solely on his salary finds it a
| hard task to make both ends meet ever
though he is economical by nature or train
| ing.
Many Curious Calls.
These are the regular day-in and day -oui
errands Besides. all sorts of queer err
rands are bobbing up continually. When.
ever a woman uses her stove as savings
bank. and forgets about 1t and burns M
the money!. she sends on the ashes to hel
representative, and he has to carry on ne
gotiations for their redemption with this
Treasury Department. A former subject
of the kaiser proposes making visit Il
the fatherland and wants a passport; hs
writes to his representative for IL, when i