The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1905-04-18

lately pieturing in cartoon John ID. Rookie
feiisr as the camel and endeavoring to
reach a pictorial heaven through the
needle's eye. all this has been brought
about by that famous now 500, 900 offer
OF his for foreign missions
It's a funny thing. but a true one, that
wealthy men do a whole lot OF good that
often does not reach the ear Of the
public The Growler has In mind now
man who often gives with a distinct
understanding that nothing be said OF H..
He Is man prominent In big corpora
tions In this city and most Of you know
him, at least by name
John ID. has been raked over the Goals
so often that he must be getting used TO
IL, Many think him stingy, but I read
the other day of aofew of his donations.
20 various things, which foot up TO Just
$26. 81 0oo-pretty tidy sum IN give away,
don't you Think I'll just name them:
University OF Chicago. sl3.o0o,000: Rush
Medical college, Chicago. 100000; Bar
nard college. sl.375.ooO; southern Educs-
tiopal fund. sl.l2s.Ooo: Harvard university,
81 ,0o0. 600; Baptist missionary fund, $1,000
600; Teachers college New York, $500 900;
Vassar college, s4oo0lo Brown university
s325, 900; Cornell university. s250,ooo; Bryn
Mawr college. $4,000; Rockefeller In
stitute Medical research. 10000; New
ton Theological seminary, $4,000; Adel-
phia college. $4,000: Syracuse university
800 900. Smith college. 10000; Y. NJ. c. A.,
New York, $40, 900; Rochester university
$4,000. There you are: 500. .l31, ,ooo, Can
you beat it7 Then, too. Ia almost for
gotten that just few days ago he gave
100000. | think IL was. 10 the University
of Virginia!
Quite a little bunch in the donation
lins-what think your
I'D
We'll. I've got the fever. all right, all
right--automobile fever; had Il for some
time now" said the Elmwood resident
"Tye had six machines now. all kinds and
conditions, One OF them used TO break
down standing still; wore out the hinges
or the hood Of another one trying TO
see what was the matter on the inside
still another one developed some new
contortloristic stunt every day and 7 was
UP against II every minute oh, tell
YOU, I've had "a lot OF experience with
them, but say. 7 heard a good one the
other da yabout a friend OF mine and his
auto that beats all my games 10 "A stand
still. He had bought a new machine and
was proud OF it-so was all the family
The day he brought II t|home there was an
errand 10 do; some bread 10 buy or some
tUluB anu AHe auto was put INTO use. MY
friend took his mother or mother-in-law.
I've forgotten which, with him and they
forgotten which, with him and they
started of. When they arrived nearly
opposite the bakery he tried TO stop the
machine. but couldn't. He'd forgotten
the combination. Try az he would he
couldn't find II and so they had TO ride
about an unlimited number Of streets
until the sasoiene was exhausted-then
Of course. the auto stopped. Funny. wasn't
II AS was saying, I've had lots of
experiences with mine, but that takes the
bun"
The Irish wit Is proverbal. friend
Of mine told me story the other day
that he said happened out In Oneyvile
last week An lrishman was one OF the
members Of a gang painting a house and
was UP on a scaffold which stood about
ten feet from the ground. One end OF
the board slipped out and the man was
thrown 10 the ground but managed 10
break his fall somewhat, and landed on
his side.
A bystander nearby rushed 10 the man,
saying. Are YOU hurt. man? It's lucky
you didn't have your legs under YOU when
YOU fell--you'd have broken them
The 1rishman looked at the speaker
moment and then responded. "Sbure.
phats tn matter wild ye--if I'd had me
feet under me wouldn't have fell"
TEDDY SAWYER.