davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
Stopping Trains With Wind.

Railway managers nowadays have
very great respect for air pressure,
and design their trains so as to elm
mate as far as possible the hostile eff
feet of the wind. No such respect
bothered Commodore Vanderbilt, now
ever, says Worlds Work, when Mr..
George Westinghouse first submitted
to him his plan for the use Of air.
brakes on railway trains.
Mr.. Westinghouse had been for sew
eral years hard at work to adapt air
pressure to the purpose he had in
mind-to make the handling of swift
trains safer. He had at last achieved
his object, and with his completed ap-
paratus set out to conquer railway
men. After much difficulty, he Sc
cured an interview with Commodore
Vanderbilt, then the greatest railway
man in the country. The old man
listened to his explanations with dim
inishing patience.
do you mean to tell me-" he broke
in at last, that you can stop a rail
road train with wind?'
We'll, yes," replied Mr.. Westing-
house. GAS air is wind, suppose you
could call it that"
1--we no time to waste on fools" "
said the great man, and the interview
was ended.-Youth Companion.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
SIMPLE LIFE IN THE OZARKS.
No Striving for Wealth There-Liv.
ing and Moonshine Whiskey Cheap.

No Striving for Wealth There-Liv-
ing and Moonshine Whiskey Cheap.
"Tf you want to see the human race
in it's simple primal elements, go
down to the Ozarks," said a citizen
who had just returned from Missouri,
where he invested in several fruit
farms. The mountaineers are the
simplest, kindest race of men one
would desire to meet, but they don't
amount to anything. They have no
desire to own property or become
itch. When family moves from one
place to another, all they do is to
put out the fire on the hearth. call
the dogs, and the job is done.
"The native doesn't want to work,
and he never does until necessity
spurs him to labor. Why, most Of
them are so lazy that they have holes
bored through their teeth so that they
will not have to open their jaws when
they want to spit. Most Of them
make moonshine whiskey, but they
don't call that work. The finest apple
jack that ever trickled down there at
prices which make wholesale figures
here look like rank robbery.
Revenue agents are plentiful In
the mountains, but they rarely run
down a man. The old spirit OF being
agin' the Government and any inter
ference with human rights, principle
among which is make all the liquor
one can, prevents peaching. There
is little shooting of the officers, be-
cause that has proved dangerous to
the liberty of the mountaineers. They
have discovered that a much cheaper
way is to fool the agents, and they
do this to perfection. Every now and
then the revenue men are allowed to
capture still, so that they may make
a showing to the collector. The opera
tor is seldom caught.
"When man wants a gallon OF
whiskey Oh apple jack, he trots out
his jug, sets it on rock, leaves ST.
and disappears. He is under surveill-
ance all the time he is in the noun
tains and it is useless ~;r him to hang
around in the hope of seeing any
body. If he goes back in an hour he
will find his money gone and the jug
filed to the brim.
"a man who goes about his bust
ness finds it easy and safe to live in
the Ozarks. But he has to stifie curl
osity or he may fall down with a Dur
let in his vitals.
"The country is the greatest in
the world for peaches, red apples
and strawberries. The natives could
all have been rich years ago by at
tending to their fruit farms for de-
cade, but they won't do it."-New
York Sun.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
A Short Lesson in Platitudes.

We notice that fun is being poked
at Vice President Fairbanks for the
platitudes of his speeches, of which
we seem to be in for long series.
But we must bear in mind the simple
distinction between the solemn and
the strenuous platituue. Mr.. Fair
banks is easily the master of the for
mer. When he says, for example, that
political parties should stand for
those measures which are wholesome"
he does it with a kind of dying fall
which inspires general gloom. But
how easy it would be for him to add
the little more and how much it is!
If he would but fiercely defy world
in arms to challenge his statement
that 1--WE gladly acknowledge one
country" or threaten to thrash within
an inch of his life any scoundrel who
should question his affirmation that
"our laws must be inspired by a sense
of JUSTICE" he might fairly hope to be
compared to Pericles, and to be listen
ed to by his awe-struck countrymen as
an avatar of eloquence and wisdom.
eff you wish to see me weep" says
Horace, in his famous advice to
American orators, make your platl'
tudes strenuous
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
THE BROKEN GLASS.

when it was whole, across this mirror
what images of strength and beau
ty passed!
Here was the loneliness Of woman
glassed,
OF children, too, and, only less III.
vine,
The forms of rocks and trees, the glo-
rious shine
OF suns and stars, and, wondrously
amassed,
The journeying clouds; beneath
them, oceans vast
Ellimitable surge of restless brine.
IT'S shattered now, and all these
things and more
Great thoughts, imaginations strong
and free
Are in this glass reflected brokenly;
Raced is the dance upon that polished
floor.
Poor useless frame that held this
sacred trust,
Too soon thou canst not crumble
into dust!
John White Chadwick, in Scrib-
her's Magazine.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13

inside of the hide, and So doing him no
permanent harm. 1t is remarkable
that he was never hit in the eye, nor
sustained broken wing.
Another thing peculiar to the loon
is that after the chicks are Matched,
If the mother wishes TO move far she
will make a shallow dive and come
up under her babies and swim off with
them on her back. The person that
succeeds in photographing her under
such conditions may we'll claim the
pennant. Only once nave seen a loon
shoulder her young, although for over
twenty years lived in the part OF
Michigan where then there was the
best chance imaginable to watch
looms. Now the timber has been cut
off around most OF the lakes and such
favorable conditions for observation
no longer exist.
Although l have only once seen q
loon shoulder her babies, l have seen
her swimming with them on her back
many times. Once one swan within
twenty feet of me and never suspect
ed my presence.
One of their calls when sitting on
the water, for volume beats that of
any other bird or beast that l know
of. l have heard them in the night
when they were more than five miles
distant, for they only make that kind
of call from the water, and there was
no lake in tnat direction short OF
that distance. To say that the loon
is very interesting bird is as mild as
/ can express it.-Correspondence in
Forest and Stream.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
Might Have Been Suspected.

An elderly, well. dressed citizen
halted in front of a shop door in Mar
ket street Monday night and waited
placidly for car. A few feet above
his head an iron framework creaked
and from the framework fiuttered a
fringe of canvas which announced
that magazines, periodicals, cigars
and tobacco were sold within. 1t was
an exposed spot. Other people, who
were also waiting, were huddlcd
around the corner of the building, but
the subject of this sketch stood his
ground, apparently contented with
his surroundings, although the snow
was sitting down on him at furious
rate and piling up on his hat and
shoulders. That's what comes of
having good name" said an amused
observer, pointing at the solitary fig
ure. "That man doesn't know they've
taken in that awning for the winter.
He sees that Tapping border there and
thinks he's protected. All last sum-
mer he stationed himself there and
kept out of the wet, but he hasn't no.
ticed that they've reefed the canopy
and he'll never notice it unless he's
told. He's near-sighted. But he has
no bad habits and so he eXcites no
suspicion. # I stood under that skel-
eton of an awning three minutes
everybody would pity me and some.
body would come up and offer to help
me home. "-Providenc Journal.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
THE CARS DAY OF JUDGEMENT
The Most Pregnant Opportunity Ever
Offered to Any Sovereign.

The Most Pregnant Opportunity Ever
Offered to Any Sovereign.
That the welfare of millions should
hang upon the will, within and word of
a single Northumberland this individu-
al walled away from all real knowl-
edge of the peoples condition and
natural wishes-is an anachronism OF
tragic proportions-an anachronism
which leads to deplorable assassina-
ton on the one side, and on the other
to such hideous massacres of the con-
fiding innocent as took place in ST.
Petersburg on Sunday the 22d of jan
uary, 1905.
In all the history of man no more
pregnant opportunity was ever offer
ed to sovereign than that offered to
the Gar Nicholas when his people
came to him, not with swords and
guns, but bearing a petition carrying
the scared icons, and pictures of the
Car, and following cross The
humblest Turk is protected in present
ing a petition to his Sultan; but the
White Car, the beloved Little Father,
allows his petitioning subjects to be
slaughtered like mad dogs!
The psychologist and the philoso-
pher can find a score of explanations
of the conduct of the troubled, per-
picked and wrongly advised Car on
that day of judgment for him and for
the exploded system of government
which he represents. Yet is remains
true that. strive as he may TO undo
the awful effects of his action On that
22d of January, the doom of the Rus
sian oligarchy was sealed. Through
whatever slow or rapid processes, by
means of whatever wise concessions
or historical commissions, Russia from
now on will advance painfully, per-
haps with pitiful reactions. toward
some modern and rational form OF
government. The new government
may or may not retain imperial forms,
as in Japan. The danger is that the
blind, brutal, stupid measures OF re-
preston, the grinding system OF I'M
perial uniformity, may so inf1ame
the people that fearful reprisals and
chimerical schemes Of reform will
take the place of wise and orderly
measures, and that the imam on horse
hack" may, for a time, stand in the
path of progress.-From an Editorial
in the Century.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
THE LOON.
Some Of the PecuIiarities for Which
This Bird Is Noted.

The loon differs fror; other birds in
a number of ways. / have reason to
think that many people are unaware
OF some, at least, of those peculiari-
ties. The ioon has a hide as tough
as an OK, and it's feathers can not be
plucked without first scalding the
bird ais you would a hog. This Incl
dent will give some IDEA of the tough
ness of the hide. About thirty-five
years ago, when / was living in Micn-
igan, a loon was shot at with a shot
gun industriously all summer, with
out apparently doing MIN any harm.
In the fall l killed him with a rifle,
just to convince the people that a
loon could be shot and killed. He
had many times been shot at with a
rife by the same people who had
used shotgun, and they had become
convinced that ne dove so quickly
that he lodged the shot in that way.
l had seen them snoot at him num-
Der Of times, and could see the
splash OF bullet or shot in the water
before the loon dove. | ridiculed the
idea of the lodging, and that led to
nay shooting him to support my con-
tention. When l skinned the bird !
found and counted over a hundred
Ne. y shot, all of them stuck to the
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
Times Have CHANGED.

In these days, when the health CUES.
ton is the first thing considered in a
child's upbringing, it is curious to
read the following letter written by
a mother in the early thirties of the
last century, and quoted by Mrs.
Kirby in years of Experience" The
lady is in correspondence with dear
friend.
why, my dear, Charles has great
friend, physician in the city, VINO
positively forbids his wife putting
stays on her little girl, or making her
sleeves so they interfere with any
movements of her arms. Now she is
fourteen, and it is entirely too late to
save her figure. 1t is a perfect shame
to wrong a girl so. One can hardly
imagine a man sacrificing daughters
interests to his own cratic notions
when the mischief can never be I'M
DONE"
Short-sighted father! Perhaps he
was the same physician who gave the
unreasonable directions to two small
boys who were down with chills and
fever. The doctor was called. He
prescribed quinine, and gave strict Or
ders that the small patients should
have neither meat nor coffee whlle
the attack lasted.
1--WE only want just a quail and one
cup of coffee apiece" piped up the
younger of the twain, aged five. "And
were going to have them, too"
1t is sad to say that they did have
them.-Youth's Companion.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
Rembrandt and Murillo.

Through the eighteenth century
Dutch painters, like those of other
countries, turned to Italy for inspira
ton: Rembrandt's marvels of light
were forgotten or condemned by ig
norant critics; his portraits, that
search into the souls of his subjects
despised for their "laborious, ignor
ant diligence" He was neglected
while Murillo continued to be abund
antly admired. Now, however, Mu
rillo is esteemed less highly, and Rem
brandt has been restored to his place
among the giarts.-St. Nicholas.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
A DEEP WATER MAN.
For This Reason He Didn't "Scare"
When the Boat Hit Sandbar.

Captain Coomers had sailed over
all the seven seas and the mighty bay
of Penobscot. Therefore he felt only
contempt for the little bug-shaped
steamer that carried passengers from
the mainland to the island resorts,
which at that time were just begin
ming to have a summer population.
This was in the days when all good
sailing men looked on steam craft as
mere landsman's toys. Their con-
tempt was warranted by the habits
of the Belle of breaking down in mid
channel, of steering off her course in
wind, and of staying at dock dis
creetly when there was any "consid-
cradle breeze Of air."
In one passage across the bay she
fell foul of current that pushed her
upon sandbank. The passengers be-
gan to run for the boats and hunt in
impossible places for life preservers.
Capt. COomers sat on deck, his big
frame supported by a camp stool, and
his game leg" stretched on another
camp stool. He sat still while the
others, crew and passengers, were
rushing about in futile activity. He
looked at the strip of island, then out
at the bay, then at the sky. Then
ne rested his chin on his chest and
studied the deck plankfng.
A passenger ran up to him and
cried: ooh, captain, we are wrecked"
HUMP"
"We are wrecked"
BE WEI"
us there any danger?"
HUMP"
Are We going to sink?"
'Not fur in this water"
Are you sure? I'm afraid we've
shall all he drowned!"
Mot II you're more'n four feet
high"
The passenger seemed satisfied at
last and wen. away. Capt. Coomers
resumed his gaze at the deck. Pres
entity another passenger saw aim.
"Oh, captain, I'm SO glad you're
here!"
$50 be IT,
Think there's any danger?"
81 amt seen any,"
"Of course we've aren't far from
shore?"
NO. We're as nlsu as two lovers
on slopin sofa"
"You take it cOOlly!"
"Well you see i've Deen wrecked off
Cape Horn and | was in boat that
was chawed up by whale. | don't
puppus to get my boots wet out O.
any sech land vehicle as this here
Youths Companion.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
SELECTED.

81 think" said the prison visitor.
cit would be helpful to you if you
would take some good motto and try
to live up to it."
EYES," said the convict. "Now, I'd
like to select, for instance, We are
here today and gone tomorrow -
Philadelphia Press.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
CONCERNING POETS.

"Poets, SIR" said one of the bunch,
"are born.''
"Of course they are" rejoined the.
unsympathetic wielder of the blue.
pencil. eff they came in the form Of
eggs they would never be allowed to-
hatch out. Chicago News.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13

"It is the saddest thought OF all,
that what we are to others, that we
are much more to ourselyes-a, ar.
icious, mean, irascible, affected,-we
are the victims of these faults" says
Thoreau's Journal" If our pride Of
tends our humble neighbor, much
more does it offend ourselves, though
our lives are never so private and soil
tary."
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
WHERE THE INTEREST LAY.

She-When it comes to gossipy'
conversation, she's very interesting.
He-Why, she's not interesting as,
talker at all.
She-Oh, I mean as a subject
Philadelphia Press.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
AT THE YONKERs CLUB.

Yeast-I understand your wife iss
an interchangeable worker?
Crimsonbeak-She's all that. Why,
after she sings the baby to Sleep
by Jove! she comes and talks me to-
sleep! Yonkers Statesman.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13

Old hard felt hats, which were
valueless up to a few months ago, can
now be sold for ct ton, and the
market is rising. The hats are burn
ed to get the shellac, which Is worth
two Shillings a pound.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
SOMETHING QUEER.

Paying Teller-We'd better have
our detective shadow that woman
who was just in here.
Assistant Cashier-What makes
you think she's a suspicious charac-
ter?
Paving Teller-She Endorsed this
check at the right end.-Cleveland
Leader.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
HER. DEDUCTIONS.

She-Do you sing?
He-Yes. indeed and my singing
is very affecting, if I do say it my
self. Why, only last Sunday l sang
for the prisoners in the county jail,
and many of them actually shed
tears.
She-Because they couldn't get
away. no doubt.-Detrot Tribune.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
OF MORE CONCERN TO HER.

"Of course" said one woman, I'VE
all have to overlook some shortcom4
ings on the part of our husbands"
give no fault to find with my hus-
bands shortcomings" responded the
wife of the travelling man; "but his
long goings make me awfully tired"
Chicago Tribune.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
IN THE BARNARD.

"Oh, pleased" the young hen plead
ed, nervously, whats the proper
way to sit on nest?"
"Hatch-way!" replied the old hen,
with silly cackle.-Philadelp
Press.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
YES INDEED.

"Can you imagine anything more
mortifying than to think of the
clever retort you might have nader
"Well, it's heap more notifying
to think of the clever retort that You
might better have left unsaid. -
Philadelphia Ledger.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
POSITIVELY BRUTAL.

Mrs. Gabbles-I have resolved
never to say another word against
our neighbors.
Gabbles-T suppose that means
there is absolutely nothing more to-
be said.-Chicago News.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
GIVING GOOD AUTHORITY.

GIVING GOOD AUTHORITY.
"She's not at all vain about. her
beauty, although she has good cause
to be-"
"The idea! How do you know
that?"
"She told me so herself" -Phila-
delphia Ledger.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
THOSE GInLs.

Gladys-Maude says she wants to,
marry one of natures noblemen.
Grayce-Yes, I know. A trust
baron, for nstance.-Louisville Cour.-
ier-Journal.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13

Clay modelling in schools is con.
demned by doctors as being worse
than states for transmitting infec
tious disease.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
A BELLE OF YONKERs.

"Do you actually mean to say that
she dyes her hair red?"
"No."
"Well, them"
"She's trying for a flaxen yellow"
-Yonkers Herald.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13

A large mine containing a frst-class
quality of graphite was recently dis
covered In Siberia.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13

A peasant even makes his shoes
birch bark, and matches his roof with
shavings. He virtually lives on wood.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
NOT NAUGHTY, MERELY UNsELr

Mother-Ethel, you naughty child.
what have you been doing to make
Charley cry so?
Ethel-I've only been sharing my
codliver oil with him, dear mamma.
You said it was so nice.-Harper's
Bazaar.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
SHOCKED BY THE NAME ONLY.

Fair Devoted don't see any way
to raise our church debt, except to-
have a lottery.
Minister (shocked)-That will
never have my sanction, madam,
never, unless you call it by some
other name-New York Weekly.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-05-13
MrN @aS|sss,eslS s>xTNN
$SlES-5 ~
ENCOURAGING.

"Are you musicale"
Nope; go ahead and play. l.
don't know one note from another
Houston Post.
La correspondencia de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 1890-1943, 1905-09-26

Sc ha hecho cargo. aver dc La es-
cuela graduada de Sahturce, la sim
patica profesora senoFita Rosa San
Juan para la cual fu4 nombFada.
Esta distinguida Sc horita desem-
pof6 en ell curse pasaao. Ell primer
salon de las classes nocturnas de
esta ciudad. alcapzando grandes
triunfos. Ninguno do sus diScfpu-
los iamas sinti6 ell nenor descon-
tento, y su salon sd VIC siempre
llenO de 10 mas select0 de los obre-
ros de esta capital.
Es de sentiFse la ausencia de la
mencionada profesora, porque diff
Gil sera encontrar para ell nueVo
curse de las classes InOcturnaS. otra
de tan relevantes condolences.
Los niflos santu urcefos deberan
sentirse orgullOs de tener en- su
seno una profssOra como La sefiOri-
ia SaDjuan, seguros ID que al fna-
liar ell a1lO escolar podran cOntar
con I'm triunfo digno de admira-
ci6n.
Tenfa que ser asf. Sus muchos
estudios para llegar q la meta de
su aspiration, le han hecAo va yer
un nuevo triunfo, que seguramen-
to ALA, como aqu1, desemPenara
con entusiasmo y f6.
La correspondencia de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 1890-1943, 1905-09-26

EN- SAN JOSE Z: &c a!quiIan hsbi
taOiOneg. 15V. a