davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30
MORMON EDICTS VERSUS LAW

While weeks of time have been consumed in the SEN
atOal investigation of the Smoot the question Of
testimony is not essential matter is in judicial
proceedings There nothing to prevent the senate
from expelling Senator Smoot ceremonie. The
federal constitution in defining the of congress-
provides that leach house may determine the rules of
its proceedings punish its members for dsordery be-
havior and with the of twothirds expe
member" For what members may regard as sufficient
cause of any kind they may displace fellow member
of either house.
1t is not a question of primary consequence in the
issue therefore, whether Senator Smoot is personally
favorable to poygamy not The purpose of the in
vesgaton is to reveal the whole trend of Mormonism
evidently, rather than to seek judicial testimony
lang to the senator personally. The individuality of
Reed Smoot is not especially important, because in the
event of his expulsion from the senate the Mormon
majority in the Utah legislature would surely elect
another member of the church to take Shoots place.
The essence of the issue in the Smoot is the
question of prior allegiance to the Mormon church
the part of it's members in of conflict between
church edicts and the laws of the United States The
testimony taken at Washington indicates that the Nor
mon church exacts such prior allegiance That is
phase the situation which congress is expected
consider, and the evidence lately accumulated will
afford basis for ultimate action on that line.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30
y NOTEWORTHY CONFERENCE

There is no subject in which the American people
feel less interest than in partisan national politics
They had surfeit last year Of political excitement
Everybody was glad when the presidential campaign
ended-glad that such events come only once in
four years
But there is slight awakening of inter
est by the that the two foremost Democrats in
the United States in what may be called the active
field of politics have just been engaged in prolonged
consultation political subjects Counting Grover
Cleveland entirely out of active politics. the two
most conspicuous in the Democratic party Alton
B. Parker and William j. Bryan.
On Wednesday, as reported from New York, those
distinguished Democratic leaders in conference
in that city full three hours No disclosure has been
made concerning the subjects discussed excepting this:
1T is stated that Mr. Bryan made his views quite plain
and expressed the belief that the west and south must
have the dominant voice in the management of the
Democratic national interests"
When the proper time comes again for talking
tional politics. fortunately not till three years hence
the question is likely to be raised whether it would not
be wise for the Democratic party to get back to
tional dominance. instead of the sectional kind al
luded to by Mr. Bryan Sectional dominance has been
tried and found wanting by the party in three successive
presidential campaigns. Mr. Bryan pre-eminenty
the exponent of western ideas in both of his campaigns
and Judge Parker the exponent of eastern ideas
in the last campaign. There strong element in
the east favorable to Organism in 1896 and 1900, and
there was S1l stronger element IN the WeSJ rela-
lively in favor of Parerism in 1904 But in the general
distinction may properly be said that the Bryan
pagns were conducted the western line and the
Parker campaign the eastern line
The Herald ventures the prediction that Mr.. Bryan
is wrong in his judgment about sectional dominance
in the Democratic party in the campaign of 1908. Sec
tonal division has been the bane of the party for
dozen years 1t has enabled the Republican party to
capture the Democratic fort time after time and to
entrench itself in the ruins.
An oldfashioned national Democratic rally may be
expected in 1908. with the watchword "No north,
south no east no west" There has been enough dis
cord in the party arising from eastern and western
tionalsm. National not sectional dominance will rule
in the councils of the party next time.
But let us drop the subject for good long while.
Only that notable conference could the
currence to national politics
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30
His Narrow Escape

Excited Friend-So you came very
nearly losing your life by means of a
bursting Russian shell as you stood
near that very battery. eh?
Correspondents should say so. I
stood there two hours one day, and
when Port Arthur surrendered Rus
sian general said that the day 1 stood
there was the very day they had origi-
naIly intended to lombard the place,
and that if they had done So the time
Of the bombardment would have been
Just about the time 1 was standing
there, as nearly as we both could re-
member.-Baltimore American.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30

death. No one can believe that Jesus
made a mistake or spake falsly when
he said that all who believed on him
should do similar works.
Christian Scientists are striving to
do the will of the Father, to overcome,
in themselves, all sense of sin, jeal-
ousy, hatred, revenge and every other
material propensity that stands be-
tween them and true understanding
of God, to get the beam out of their
own eye, that they may see more
clearly to assist their brother. They
ascribe all power to God and acknowl-
edge none other.
Now a startling problem confronts
u.s. 1t is being considered in the pew
and out of 1t. 1t is being discussed in
private and in public. Many are look
ing aghast that the pulpit which should
stand as a unit for the allness supre-
macy and absolute power of God,
against all that is unlike him, should
or could call to its aid, or for a moment
countenance a system which utterly
power to the human mind, thereby
ignoring the divine power. The very
first command is to have no gods, no
powers apart from him. This COM
mand is as binding today as when first
uttered. Is it any wonder that SO
many are preaching to empty pews,
that so many are seeking fold where
Gods allness is proclaimed, and not
only uttered but taken into daily lives
and actions and manifested in loving
works; where the vagaries of the car
nal mind are being overcome by a
realizing sense of the divine mind !;
where the daily strife is to vanquish
the false human senses by knowing
more of God and his law.
We have positive assurance that all
shall know God, and we hail the happy
day when darkened eyes shall be
opened and all shall see him as he is.
A. WILLIS PAINE.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30
SMILES

Misunderstanding again, Willie?
Didn't 1 tell you to stop and count 100
whenever you were angry?
Willie-But it didn't do any good,
ma. Look what the Jones boy did
while l counted.-Harper's Bazaar.
He (reading about the latest society
wedding)-Th have a lot to say
about what the bride wears, but they
have nothing to say about the poor
bridegroom.
She-They have no need to, because
it is a well-known fact that he usually
wears a worried look-Boston Globe.
Wife, am going to give o'clock
tea one evening next week.
Husband-For ladies only, suppose
Wife-Of course.
Husband-Then why not be consis-
tent and mark it down to 457,-Cht-
cago News.
Bacon-How many servants does
your wife require?
Egbert-Two; one going and one
coming.-Yonkers Statesman.
de races is gone" said Uncle Eben,
but dey is merely gwine to hold off
while SOS to give de foolish money
chance to accumulate. chicago
Journal.
"But what's the matter?" queried
the friend of the bank president. Has
your cashier skipped out?"
Worse than that!" howled the fran
tic man, "worse than that"
"Well. what is it?"
"I've been chadwlcked! Houston
Post
what can we do to improve the
present method of dancing?" thun-
dered the parson. Dancing is merely
hugging set TO music"
1--WE might cut out the music soft
ly suggested bad young man i'm the
rear of the auditorium Evansville
Courier
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30
AN EXAMINER FAKE

The San Francisco Examiner worked of its self
exploiting schemes by getting up a popular petition
asking the Legislature not to permit the recession of
Yosemite park to the federal government. This petit
tion presented in each branch of the legislature
and here is an extract from the Sacramento Unions
description of it:
ut consisted of many yards of cheese cloth rolled
into bundle and mounted a grindstone frame. A
crank through the bundle and it looked for all the
world like piece of granite upon which the senators
about to be asked to grind their The bundle
of cloth pasted the outside with petitions
but whether there any inside a problem
nobody sought to solve, since the whole thing tied
together with rope and looked dlapidaed and soied
Every person of sense who examined the pasty mon
ster could with difficulty perceive that it might be
copy of subscription list anything else for that
matter. Few of the exposed legibe and
many of them preserved in spite of evident attempts
at disguise a striking similarity of outline"
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30
How 1t MAY Be Arranged
Baltimore Herald.

What are your rates?" inquired the
man at the hotel counter with the pen
in hand.
Register, pleased" replied the clerk.
The visitor wrote: Judge A. T..
Whang, Blankville.'
Federal district judge?" inquired
the clerk briskly.
"Yes, but what's got to do with it?"
"Well, our general rate is 81 per day,
but we are making a special rate for
federal district judges at $40 a day
so as to save 'em from all tempta-
tion to do Wrong!"
Judge Whang could not write his
name down fast enough.-New Orleans
Times Democrat.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30
How to Cure Astiamatism

In the schools of a Connecticut town
measures were recently taken to test
the childrens eyesight. AS the doc
tor finished each school he gave the
principal list of the pupils whose
eyes needed attention. and requested
him to notify the children's parents to
that effect
One night, soon after the opening of
the fall term, a little boy came horne
and gave his father the following note,
duly signed by the principal:
Mr.. -, Dear Sir: 1t becomes my
duty to inform you that your son
shows decided indications of astigma-
tism, and his case is one that should
be attended to without delay.
The next day the father sent the fol-
lowing answer:
Dear Sir: Whip it out Of him. Yours
truly - -.
Baltimore Herald.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30
From an Authors Journal

l celebrated New Years day by kill
ing three of my heroes One of the
critics told me they deserved it.
l wrote three love songs for one
turkey last Christmas. The incense OF
the gods is great, but it isn't filling.
l have come to the conclusion that,
to keep the literary business going,
one must take a recess and split rails
on the side.
Many an author who is famous now,
shivers when he hears the waters OF
Oblivion splash.-Atlanta Constitution.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30
GOOD ONES
A Hiob-PrIeed IDOL

Mrs L. n. Letter, when she is in
Paris, spends a good deal Of time IN
the shops of the exquisite jewelers. and
dealers in antiques and objects of art.
Mrs. Letter was in Paris early in the
winter She had rooms at the fashion
able Hotel Ritz. An American traveller
who met her at the Ritz said the other
day:
"On a rather dull afternoon Mrs
Letter visited an art shop in the Rue
de la Paix She looked at Rodin
bronzes, Lalique jewels, drawings of
Daumier and other priceless things,
and finally pointing toward a dusSy
corner, she said to the polite young
salesman
How much is that Japanese idol
over there worth?"
"The salesman bowed and answered:
"'About 500 900 francs, madam, 1t is
the proprietor Baltimore Herald.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30
A Fable

The Wealthy Patient was in .
Quandary.
"The Fee of the Eminent Surgeon
will be $199 more than | have i'm the
Bank. If, however, l Die. the Eminent
Lawyer viii take $1.9O more than l
Leave. Which shall it oe?"
While he was still debating. a
Plumber repaired a Leak on the Third
Floor, and received the Whole Estate.
Moral: When between the Devil and
the Deep Sea- Third Party may get
you.-Harpers Bazaar.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30
Unique

We observed on the streets of Indian
apolis middle-aged man, about whom
an immense crowd of excited Hoosiers
had collected.
"And what is this?" we asked our
guide.
"That, sir" he told us, sis Silas
Swamproot."
"And what has he done?'
Done? Why he's the only man in
Indiana who is not a candidate to suc-
ceed Fairbanks!"
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30

The senatorial election in Missouri does not appear
to be making progress Mr.. Niedringhaus now hope
essy short OF majority while Col Kerens has only
10 votes. with small chance being able to increase
the number The Democrats, 1t is reported are de-
sirous of Withdrawing the of Senator Cockre
and substituting that of Judge o. M. Spencer in the
hope that the Kerens vote may to him Judge
Spencer is railroad attorney never been asso
ciated, far as known, with any lobby business. It
may be only Democratic dream" but it would be
strange If Missouri elected Democrat as senator
after all.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30

The spectacle of wild scramble of home seekers
in quest OF government land will be Witnessed at
Visalia. about IT'S miles north of Los Angeles omor
row. On that day there will be subject to entry 700 OOO
acres OF land In the foothi district of Kern Tuare and
Fresno counties The usual ridiculous and senseless
method OF homesteadng, in such cases will he fol-
lowed. The rule Of first first served" will he
sure to cause tumultous rush for choice claims and
the outcome will be in accordance with the rule OF
the survival of the ttest" But that seems 10 be the
nearest approach the government can make TO a civ.
nized plan for parceing out its such cases
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30
Senator spooner's Five.FoOted Cat

Senator Spooner yesterday was pro-
pounding conundrum to his col
leagues. 1t was propounded to him
the other evening while he was out to
dinner. Although very simple little
thing, the senator, while possessing
the keenest legal mind in congress,
had been unable TO frame correct
reply. He enjoyed trying it on others.
This conundrum was: (which has
more feet-one cat or no cat?"
II pass it over to you" or something
like that, was the almost invariable
reply.
"Why no cat of course" Mr..
Spooner would respond. zone cat has
four feet. No cat has five feet
Washington Post.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30

Deadwood reports that company of leading c-
zens," all wealthy now but formerly cowboys win at
tend the presidents inauguration mounted and equip
ped in wild western fashion It is said the spectacle
intended to show in Washington how a western man
takes of himself in the saddle" An exhibition of
how western take Of themselves in their
cups might be more amusing
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30

The directors of the Lewis and Clark exposition at
Portland have declared officially that the show will be
open on Sundays. No reasonable objection can he
made to the purpose assuming that no spectacle Often
sve to religious people will be allowed on the Sabbath
The managers of the St. Louis exposition regretted
when too late the rule Of Sunday closing enforced bv
congress.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30

In accordance with The Heralds suggestion the bill
providing for license tax on dramshops has been
amended so as to provide that the state tax is only
colectble after the saloon has been duly authorized
by the city and county and it is not coectibe where
local option prevails If this amendment is adopted
then the state license tax become assessabe 9th
erwise the law would be defeated by the courts.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30
We TRUST He's Safe

OF quaint obituary notices the
quaintest comes TO us from corre-
spondent in Tennessee;
Here is the body of Joshua Jones'
God save his soul and rest his bonesl
Married six times, but got release,
And now. thank God, he rests in peacel
ATLANTA Constitution.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30

The kind of humor enjoyed by northern jury as
reported from Redding, appears to be a misft when
tried on the court. jury that brought in a acetious
verdict finding the prosecution guilty of keeping us
from our work" promptly got funextinguishng fine
of S. for each member with the alternative of going
to jail
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30

The beauty of Riverside does not render it immune
from the graft bacillus. The grand jury of that city
has just reported that the Jail is "a scandalous job
and disgrace to all those connected with it's erection"
and ausion is made to the of graft that has pre-
vailed long about the house." But why do the
people of Riverside stand it?
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30

With the Japanese in his front and the Russian
people in his rear Gar Nicholas is not leading very
happy life. Still, he shouldn't away. Even Louis
had the courage to face the French revoluionsts in
the public streets and to grant concessions at the last
hour of his reign.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30

"The cashier has absconded and
cleaned us out"
"How much did he take?"
Nearly eight thousand"
"He did! Well. therell be a little
satisfaction for us in calling it eighty
Thousand. "-C Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30

An automobile that is expected to speed at the rate
of mile in thirty seconds pictured in yesterdays
Herald. 1t ought to be named the Happy Dispatch"
That is what the Japanese formerly called their favore
suicide method known hara kari.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30

Los Angeles mothers should make note of the new
scheme sprung in New York by gentee thief for the
furtherance of his business The adept in the big
managed to throw the off their guard by kissing
all the babies in sight
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30

Mr.. Baldwin's splendid arship made another ascen-
sion yesterday responding readily and promptly the
bold young navigator, Knabenshue All California
joins in congratulations to Mr.. Baldwin, and will watch
his future demonstrations with pride and pleasure
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30

Now it is the pretty little city of Monrova nesting
at the foot of the mountains twenty miles from Los
Angeles that is made happy by the prospect of Car
negie library building Monrova truly deserves the
implied compliment.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30

In Elgn, ILL.,, the town where the big match factory
is located the police have been ordered to suppress
flirting" Sedae citizens who have forgotten their
younger days think the habit is horrid Possibly the
Elgin watch youngsters may be extended to other
towns.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30

The Russian political agitaors, according to lead
ing sympathizer in Chicago, need money "to continue
such assassnations that of Won Plehve" Such
pent Kissing deserves the application of the crushing
heel
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30

The outbreak of yellow fever at Panama is attrib
uted partly to the habit of women in wearing muslin
shirtwaists which enable the mosquito fever purveyors
to do business handiy. There 1imsy shirtwaists
and pestiferous mosquitoes elsewhere than at Panama
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30
THE HERALD'S CITY CIRCULATION

THE HERALD's CIRCULATION IN THE CITY OF
Los ANGELES is LARGER THAN THAT OF THE
EXAMINER OR THE EXPRESS AND SECOND ONLY
TO THAT OF THE TIMES.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30

With genial warmth and sunshine in Los Angeles
It is enough to give the shivers to read of the
severe cold weather throughout the This sunland
of ours is a wonder. even TO the oldest nhabitant.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30

1t may have Jared Sacramento statesmen at the
first glance at the big headline in yesterdays Herald
telling of the Exhibit of Arts and Crafts Pasadena
Crafts and gratis look much alike in display
type.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30

In Blgin, ILL.,, the town where the big watch factory
the dictum that all "idotic children should be
drowned" He fails to state what should be done with
adult idiots who fancy they are inordinately bright
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30

The Herald doesn't give away of molasses
with its want ads The advertisements in The Herald
paid for in cash and are worth the money.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-01-30

The week opens with comparative quiet in ST.
Petersburg and Jefferson City.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1905-10-13
comnlacen+ Bachelor Editor.

Having lately heard a lot of married
people grumble about buying school
books and shoes for the children. we
are able to whistle when we sew but
tons on our undershirt Washington
(Kan.) Register.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1905-10-13
Food for London Zoo.

The cost of feeding the animals in the
London zoo last rear was II, 200. The
principal items of food were 2O7 horses
270 goats, 1921 pounds of fish. 25. 1s6
eggs, $3.50 quarts of milk, and 137loads
of hay.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1905-10-13
Life Not Worth Living.

CUMBERSOME scientist remarks
that IL you eat onions you will live for
ever.
Guyer-What would be the use of
living for aver when no girl would
eve let you kiss her?-Stray Stories.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1905-10-13
Money in Them.

TITS remarkable how easily these
idle rumors gain currency"
Eyes; and it's still more remarkable
how some idle stock market rumors
enable others to gain currency
Philadelphia Public Ledger.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1905-10-13
Anybody Hangman.

Technically, any inhabitant of thu
United Kingdom is liable to be called
on to undertake the uncongenial task
OF hangman. The salary is five dollars
a week as a retaining fee and 10 after
ar execution.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1905-10-13
Sounds Larger.

Hint to the young man about to pro-
pose: You will impress her more IL you
tell her that your salary is $500 a year
o will If you tell her it is $50 a
week.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1905-10-13

To look back constantly On past mis-.
takes and failures is as destructive to
the growth of spiritual beauty AMI
power, and to the development of ma
terial success, as it is to look forward
to Ills that ma never come.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1905-10-13
Queens Ladies.

Queen Alexandra has in all Is ladies
in personal attendance on her, the
first being mistress of the robes, then
the ladies of the bedchamber and
maids of honor.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1905-10-13
Easy for George.

did George ask your father fo-
your"
No; he told pa that he had Just in
herited 500, 900 and pa offered me to
him."-Houston Post.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1905-10-13
Italy's Industrial Center.

The province of Milan is one of the
important industrial centers of Italy.
1t contains 300 silk mills, giving en-
ployment to 10000 workmen; 200 cot
ton mills, with rs, 900 workmen, and 20
wooden mills, with 5000 workmen.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1905-10-13
A Comeback.

Hell wouldn't marry you if you
were the only man in the world.
Him-If l had any such cinch as
that you'd never get the chance
Cleveland Leader.
The Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1903-1909, 1905-02-21
EA

Good tea is extremely
good; we don't believe it
ever did anyone harm.
Your grocer returns your money II you don't
like schng's Best.
The Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1903-1909, 1905-02-21
Mistaken Attic ntion.

Men make mistake, says lady,
"in making such fuss over middle
aged women They don't want to be
waited on. They want people to think
they are just as young as they ever
were and they resent it when a man
tries to help them get around II you
want to keep good friends with a lady
whose hair is just beginning to turn
gray, don't take her arm every time
she steps off a threeinch curb or Of
fer her your seat in street ear to-
ride a couple of blocks. "-Detroit
Tribune.
The Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1903-1909, 1905-02-21

acquire some chronic all
ment from which they
will never recover.
Unless you take the
necessary precautions, the
chances are that you (who