davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29

which he had set his heart and soul.
Ben wondered at these things, but
could not understand them-not just
then.
1t was about a week later when
was in sadly dilapidated condition.
His clothing was torn, and he had one
eye bandaged and one arm in a sling
His bride had been giving him a little
taste of her temper He was humble
and pitifully meek
"Joe," he said, Il owe you an apol-
ogy- 1 beat you out of the Widow
Morgan when 1 had no right to do So
I'm sorry for it,
Il guess you are sorry" Joe replied.
81 knew you would be. But don't you
bother about me, Ben. You did not
beat me out of her. 1 never had a
thought of marrying that woman"
You never?"
Certainly not"
But you were going to see herr"
Eyes, but 1 had a purpose in it.
wanted to get revenge on you for the
way you always interfere in my af-
fairs. 1 knew that if 1 showed her
attentions you would jump in and
marry her. That was what l wanted"
Joe walked on, and Ben stood look
ing ruefully after him. Presently the
latter muttered:
And I've got that old vixen on my
hands for lifei Darn an old fool who
hasn't a lick of sense! l have GER
tainly butted in once too often"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29

NOT very WELL I've only met her
few times; but she's likely looking
woman. They say she has some tenn
per, but 1 think 1 know enough about
women to manage that
The Squire smiled knowingly, but
said nothing. He had his own ideas
of some things, but he did not feel
called upon to express them. Ben
Burket was old enough to take care of
himself, certainly. He ought to know
what he was doing, and if he didn't
it was not the Squire's lookout. Then,
if Ben married the widow, Pixley
could not have her. and that was
matter of considerable moment in the
Squire's estimation, since he was a
friend to Joe.
Beeson saddled his horse and rode
with Burket over to Mrs. Morgan's
house. She was waiting for them, and
was all ready to be married. Without
delay the Squire performed the cere-
mony that made her and Ben husband
and wife. Pocketing his fee, he said:
I've done you all the damage 1 can,
and from this on you will have to fight
it out between yourselves"
Ben took his wife to his own home,
and, in order to make his victory over
Pixley the more complete, rode around
by the school house, so that the latter
might see them Joe had just dis
missed school. and was standing out
in front when they rode up. With a
smile of triumph Ben said:
"Pixley, 1 want to introduce you to
my wife,
Naturally he thought he was dealing
Joe hard blow, and he expected to
see him sink under it. But Joe did
nothing of the kind. He did not seem
in the least cast down. Instead, he
laughed loud and long and acted as
though it was all a good joke Ben
was puzzled at such conduct. and he
was more puzzled yet when Joe said !:
Il knew you would fall into the
trap. but / didn't think you would do
it so soon. I guess we are about even
now"
What do you mean?" Burket asked.
Nothing" Pixley replied, "only that
a man who is always butting in may
| butt in once too often. 1 wish you
much joy. Ben. Good evening
AS Ben continued on his way he
fell to bordering Joe's words. What
| did they mean, he wondered? What
| trap had he fallen into, and what did
! Joe mean about them being even, and
! about man butting in once too often
1t was all incomprehensible to him
and he could not fathom it.
| Then Joe had not seemed in the
| least disappointed at losing the widow
| Rather he had laughed at it as if ii
was a most enjoyable joke He ap
peared to be so highly pleased as
though it was the one chief thing in
his life upon the contamination OF
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
Reads Like a Miracle.

Moravia, N. Y, July 17th.-(SpeciaD
Bordering on the miraculous is the
case of Mrs. Benz. Wilson, of this
place. Suffering from Sugar Diabetes,
she wasted away till from weighing
200 lbs. she barely tipped the scales at
1870 lbs. Dodd's Kidney Pills cured
aer. Speaking of her cure her hus-
oand, says:
My wife suffered everything from
Sugar Diabetes. She was sick four
years and doctored with two doctors.
but received no benefit. She had so
much pain all over her that she could
not rest day or night The doctors
said that she could not live.
Then an advertisement led me to
try Dodd's Kidney Pills and they
helped her right from the first. Five
boxes of them cured her. Dodd's Kid
ney Pills were a God-sent remedy to
US and we recommend them to all suf-
fering from Kidney Disease"
Dodd's Kidney Pills cure all Kidney
Diseases, including Bright's disease,
and all Kidney aches, including Rheu-
matiSm.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
D[5 \D0Z1l[5D26
y zz5zz4aw ,)[7N[2CU[P

Ben Burket was a widower and Joe
Pixley was a bachelor. The one was
a Postum Ridge farmer and the other
taught the Postum Ridge school. They
were both well past middle age.
Burket's chief purpose in life, it
seemed, was to oppose Pixley- NO
matter what the latter attempted the
former was ready to do all in his
power to defeat him. There was no
reason for this, so far as anybody
could see, for Joe was a quiet, lnonen-
sive man, who attended strictly to his
own business; and he had certainly
never harmed Burket. But it had
been SO for years, and it looked as
though it would continue as long as
they both lived. However, no one
knows in what day or what hour the
worm may turn.
There lived on Possum Ridge a
homely old widow, who was chiefly
noted for her temper. Her name was
Morgan. She had had three husbands,
but, fortunately for them, they were
all dead They had died happily, for,
while they died not knowing what was
awaiting them in the next life, they
knew from what they were escaping
in this. They felt that even at the
worst the change would be a great
improvement.
One day Pixley conceived a brilliant
idea in connection with this widow.
He had long felt that he had suffered
enough from Burket's interference in
his affairs, and that he ought to do
something to put stop to it; but he
had not been able to devise any plan.
Now, however. plan was at hand
and he saw his way clearly. He
chuckled softly as he anticipated the
final results.
The next day Pixley called on Mrs.
Morgan. A day or two later he called
again. From that time on he became
a frequent visitor at her house. and
the oftener he went the longer he
remained.
On Postum Ridge news travelled
fast, and whatever one person did
was soon known to all the rest. So it
was not long till everybody knew of
Pixley's visits to the widow. Every
body knew, too, or at least they
thought they knew, what his object
was. 1t could not be anything short
of matrimony.
i Some laughed at the thought of the
trouble Joe was liable to get himself
into. Some shook their heads gravely,
and in their hearts they pitied him.
One or two of his more intimate
friends went to him and tried to con-
vince him that he was making a SER
ious mistake.
eff you marry that old woman
they said, you will never see anoth-
er minute of peace on earth. She will
harass you to your grave. You are
too old to be such a fool"
That's all right" he replied. Don't
you worry about me. 1 know what
I'm doing"
Calmly and smilingly he went on his
way; keeping his own counsel, and
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
Real Bad Man Gathered In.

I'm woolly wolf. I've got a tail
sixteen feet long and it's covered with
barbwire. The DEVILS broke loose !;
take in yer canoes, you scaly-hided,
fat-heeled sons of slush tubs. My
tread causes earthquakes, my breath
adde's milk. 1 can spit blister on a
wash pot and bust up a stil1house by
blowing in at the wum. The lion s
loose-close yer windows I'm a mos
sill of the best man that ever took a
drink of Denison prohibition booze
Clean out thar" These and a few
other remarks of like character were
INDUCED In by a young man last night
on Main street. The young fellow is
in pawn now and is looking for some
farmer who needs good cotton chop
per to come and take him out of hook
-Durant, /. T. News
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
A Proner Distinction.

Here is a story that the Rev. Mox-
ON of Springfield tells of John Fiske,
which illustrates his frankness:
1t seems that one day his wife had
to report to him that their son had
been guilty of calling Mrs. Jones, a
neighbor, fool and Mr.. Jones much
worse fool.
Prof. Fiske sent for the youngster,
and when he appeared in the library
said to him sternly: my son, is it
true that you said Mrs. Jones was a
fool?"
Hanging his head the boy replied: :
Eyes, father, I did,
"And did you call Mr.. Jones worse
fool?"
Eyes, father"
After a moments reflection the fam
Gus historian said slowly: well, my
son, that is just about the distinction
1 should make."-Boston Record
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
STOLEN GEMS HARD TO SELL

Man Who Stole Tiffany Diamond.
Gathered In a White Elephant.
In the opinion of Detective Char
lie" Heidelberg. the man who stole
the great Tiffany diamonds has a
white elephant of prodigious size on
his hands. While the stones represent
fortune in themselves, there is abb
solutely no way in which the thief
can dispose of them without subject
ing himself to immediate capture The
only satisfaction left him is to gaze
at the gems in the solitude of his
home and weave dreams about great
possibilities contained in those three
sparkling bits of carbon
All the diamond cutters in the
world may be numbered on the fin
gers of both hands," said Heidelberg.
They have all received accurate de-
scriptions of the stones and if they
are presented to any of these experts
to be cut, the person in whose custody
they are will Immediately be arrested.
Some days ago it was reported
that there was a diamond cutting ex-
pert in Pittsburg who had not been
included in the official list An inves-
ugation was made at once and the re
port proved to be false. There is one
cutter in Chicago, but none nearer.
The description of the missing gems
has been scattered broadcast, and so
much publicity given to the matter
that even the most daring fence
would not take the diamonds at a
1.-THE of their value.
In my opinion, the theft was not
the work of an outsider" added the
detective. 1.-THE stones were taken
by some one in the store who was
familiar with the methods of the es-
Enlistment
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
An Appreciation.

I am very fond of poetry
Couldn't possibly be more
Every thing I lay my hands on,
Modern works or ancient lore.
But of all things I've perused
(And indeed I've read a sight)
Nothing seems to me clever
AS the poetry I write
Shakespeare? Well. he's pretty good.
Milton? HIM, 1 guess he'll do.
Pope and Browning? Just $3.50.
Keats? I've never read him through
Byron? Well, his styles too free.
TennySOn? Too serious, quite.
None of them can hold candle
To the poetry I write.
1 can sit and read it over,
Backward. forward by the hour.
Such ma gnificence of diction,
Phrasing of unequaled power!
Often over it I've pored
Far into the Silly night.
Nothing fills me with such bliss
AS the poetry 1 write.
Every words a polished jewel.
Strings of gems are every line.
Strange that editors opinions
Rarely coincide with mine.
Some day they will beg my verse
But they'll never get a mite.
For they won't deserve such luck
AS the poetry 1 write.
Blanche Goodman.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
Bath in GoIdfeId.

"AI1 trouble and Inconvenience
growing out of the scarcity of water
in the new mining camps of Nevada
is rapidly disappearing" remarked
Oscar j. Smith, lawyer and capitalist
of Reno. s"They have quite as much
water in Goldfield now as will satisfy
the requirements of the camp. 1 was
down at Goldfield recently, and MOTTO
ing a sign on a building which pro-
claimed the fact that baths were to
be had there 1 went in and announced
that I would like to get bath. The
fellow in charge handed me ticket
and took my money.
"Wel1, see here said I, I don't
want a bath ticket. 1 want a BATH
"'Oh, you'll get a bath all right,
and the bathhouse manager. Let me
see your ticket, No. 813. There are
about 812 people ahead of yor. Come
around in about three or four weeks "
San Francisco Chronicle.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
The BRIGHT Side.

Go pluck from every flaming bush
The dewy rose of morn.
And keep the ruby-colored cup,
But cast away the thorn;
Retain the flowers golden heart,
But not the bitter smart
Go look on life in every scene,
The gloomy and the gay.
Remembering the splendid ones,
And cast the rest away,
Recall the ones with love agiow.
But turn away from woe
Go sip from all the cups of life
In all her ways among,
But Danish all the thoughts of dregs
And keep upon your tongue
The honey, sweetest draught of all
But throM away the gall
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
Where the Gang Rules.

Col. Sheldon Potter, who represents
reformed Philadelphia in the headship
of the city's police department, was
talking at a dinner party about gang
rule and municipal corruption.
"Gang rule he said, encourages
bad habits, drunkenness, hundred
evils. This was well shown in a
school board meeting In New Eng
land town. Corruption in that town
was rampant, and in consequence dis
sipation was rampant, too.
well, at the school board meeting
I speak of it was said that the clerk
long before the nights business end
ed was signing checks with the whisky
and drinking the ink."-Cincinnati
Enquirer
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29

when alone in the house the back
ache has been SO bad that it brought
tears to my eyes. The pain at times
was so intense that l was compelled
to give up my household duties and lie
down. There were headaches, dizzi-
ness and blood rushing to my head to
cause bleeding at the nose. The first
box of DOan's Kidney Pills benefited
me so much that continued the treat
Elent. The singing pain in the small
of my back, the rushes of blood to the
head and other symptoms disappear
ed"
Doan's Kidney Pills for sale by all
dealers. SO cents per box Foster
Milburn Co., Buffalo. N. Y.
The women are always able te
speak for themselves. Then why
should they expect the men to stand
up for them in the street cars.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
When I Go Home

1t comes to me often in silence,
When the freight sputteTs low
When the black uncertain shadows
Seem wraiths of the long ago,
Always with throb of heartache
That thrills each pulsive vein.
Comes the old. unQuiet longing
For the peace of home again.
I'm sick of the roar of cities,
And of faces old and strange;
I know where there's warmth of welcome,
And my yearning fancieS range
Back to the dear old homestead,
With aching sense of pain;
But there'n be joy in the coming
When go home again.
When 1 go home againl There's music
That may never die away
And it seems the band of angels,
On a mystic harp to play,
Have touched with yearning sadness
On a beautiful, broken strain
To which is my fond heart wording
When / go home again
Outside of my darkening window
Is the great worlds crash and din,
And slowly the autumn'S shadows
Come drifting. drifting in.
Sobbing, the night winds murmur
To the plash of the autumn rain:
But dream of the glorious greeting
When I go home again.
Eugene Field, Selected.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
fearful Milk.

A lady was complaining to her dairy
man some time ago about the quality
of his milk. Short O. grass feed.
mum-short o. grass feed this time o.
year." said the jocular milkman.
ssBless you, them cows o. mine are
inst as sorry about it as I am. often
stands and watches 'em cryin'-regu-
lar cryin', mum-because they feel as
how their milk don't do 'em credit
You don't believe IL?
"Oh, yes, 1 believe il" said the lady:
ssbut I wish in future you'd see that
they don't drop their tears into our
can.".The Taller.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29

The Squire looked surprised, then
he grinned broadly.
We've all been thinking" he said,
that Joe Pixley was going to marry
her. But I see how it is. You are at
your old tricks again. You are going
to beat Joe out of her,
ANY man has a right to marry a
woman if he wants to, 1 reckon" Bur
ket replied. HE don't have to wait
to see if somebody else wants her,
does he?"
"Of course not the Squire admitted.
cts a free fight, and if you can win
the widow she ought to be yours. But
do you know herr"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
General.

Sergeant Eatemuppski: Look at the
generals running on in front of the
army. What does it mean?
Captain DamphiKarovitch: Word
came this morning the enemy was
within five miles and that we ought
to make a general advance.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
Ear-Reachinq.

The giraffe stuck his head out of
the cage, while the woman was look
ing at the 1ephant, and picked beau
tiful bunch of artificial grapes from
her bonnet, although twenty feet dis
tant-
teAh," he soliloquized, ga grasping
disposition seldom appreciates how far
reaching it's actions are
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
The Sunday School BRIGADE

do you know where all the good
little Sunday school boys go?" asked
the teacher.
mo, maam," said Johnnie, mot all
Of EN- Bobby and Harry goes to
the drug store and smoke cigarettes,
Charley and me goes over to see the
train come in, but don't know where
the others goes since the crick has
dried up"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
straiuht to the Point.

1T seems to me-" said Sapphed,
that the women of the old country
W ould be ashamed to acknowledge
members of their sex to be the most
vehement anarchists
Come off, old man, won't you? Wo-
men are not anarchists, it's the men"
go soak your govt, Amt anar.
chists nearly all bum throwers?"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
AmbidextrcuS.

From The Philadelphia Press.
s'Gct q new mule, eh?" remarked the
colonel. "How does he work, Mose?"
."Deed, suh,'' replied Uncle Nose,
"dis mule he done wuck bofe ways"
Both ways?"
'tYas, sub; he kin kick des es well
wifi his front laigs es his back ones"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29

Ethel-Yes. I'm going in for teach
ing.
Marjory-You going in for teaching1
Why, 1 would rather marry a widower
with half a dozen children
Ethel with q sigh)-So would L
But where's the widower?
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
At Last.

Duke GrabitallSli and Prince Damp
Pflooovitch were lying on the grass
pulling Russian dandelions. The Duke
put one of the roots in his mouth.
'Ah, have it," he exclaimed
"What?" asked the Prince.
s'The bitter end"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29

what I suf-
fered no one
W i IL e v e r
know. I used
about every
known RENE
dy that ia
said to be
good for kid
ney COM
plant, but
without de-
irving per.
manent re-
lief. Often
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
See?

Eye-openers. in the morning,
Eye-openers through the day,
Eye-openers at the eventide,
Will close your eyes to stay.
Kansas City Drovers Telegram.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
Very Good.

$50 you have left your husband for
good''
Eyes, for good. 1 get 5000 a month
a1imony.- City Drovers Tele-
gram.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
Insist on GETTING It.

Some grocers say they don't keep De-
hand of II c. brands, which they know
cannot be sold to a customer who has once
used the 16 Or pkg. Defiance Starch for
same money.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
States Are Tabooed.

ton, as a sanitary measure, has adopt
ed a resolution prohibiting the use of
states and pencils in the public
schools.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
Fair WARMING.

er forecaster says He's merely Civ
ing US hot air.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
Short Wait.

Lives of ice men now remind US
OF what settled Russia's fate.
1t was lying, yes sir, lying,
Togo lying there in wait
Kansas City Drovers Telegram.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
A woMAN's MISERY.

Mrs John La Rue, of lis Paterson
Avenue, Paterson, N J.. says: ct was
troubled for about nine years, and
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29

continuing his attentions to Mrs Nor
gan.
A couple of weeks passed. then one
day Ben Burket rode up to Squire
Blossoms and called the Squire out.
I'm going to get married" he said,
land l want you to go along and per-
form the ceremony"
s.All right, Ben the Squire replied.
I'm always ready to accommodate a
neighbor. especially if there is a fee in
it. Who are you figuring on marry
ing?'
THE Widow Morgan" Burket an
swered.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-04-07

Umatilla, April 4.-Fred Schultz,
who suffered a badly sprained ankle.
is all right again.
Harry Hannum is the night car
checker since Harry Hughes left.
Robert Brownell is very much i'm
proved and his many friends hope to
see him outside soon.
h. c. Cobb, who has been night op-
orator two weeks, has been called to
Huntington, and will leave in a few
days. There is but one thing that
changes oftener than our night opera
tor and that is Colorado's governor.
b. L. Curtiss, who has been visit
ing his brother, H. ]. Curtis, the past
two weeks, left yesterday for
months visit in Minnesota
The Oregon Daily Journal says:
Even old Umatilla is waking up"
This is fact, and you want to keep
your eye on her.
The o. r. & N. Co. may soon sink
well, so they can furnish better wa
ter than the Umatilla river affords.
A large tract of land just across the
Columbia river from here, was recent
ly sold for $4,000. 1t will be irri-
gated and improved as rapidly as
possible.
The Steele & Freeland moving pic
ture show will give an entertainment
in the school house a week from Fri
day night.
Thsa I to off
weekly, and good entertainment will
be given Friday evening.
Enthusiastic Bridge Meeting.
About SO persons attended public
meeting at the school house last Sat
urday night at which about 15 Irrigon
people were present. The meeting
was called to arrange for getting the
proposition for a bridge across the
Umatilla river in shape to present to
the county court.
Interesting talks were made by
Messrs. Holbrook, Bennett, Amesbury
and others.
a committee consisting of F. b.
Holbrook, S. w. Bennett and c. L.
Swain of Irrigon, and H. C. Means
and c. E. Amesbury of Umatilla, was
appointed to look up a location and
secure right of way for road and get
everything in shape.
At this meeting the Umatilla De-
velopment league was organized with
the following officers: r. Y. Yerxa.
president; ]. H. Tomlinson and H. c..
Means, vice-presidents; o. C. Smith,
secretary-treasurer
About $500 was subscribed in a
short time for immediate use. A COM
mittee was appointed consisting of G.
w. Kelly, John w. Lennox and Frank
O'Connell, to secure and set out,
shade trees along the streets.