davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30

In her book "A Southern Girl In 81
Mrs d. Graud Wright tells capital
story about General John c. Breckin.
ridge Of Kentucky. He was invited by
a certain lady Of rank in London to
luncheon The lady had just adver-
tised for n footman. Mistaking the
hour. General Breckenridge reached the
house before the appointed time and by
some accident was ushered into Lady
Blanks presence without being an
nounced The day was in June. Ow-
ing to the heat the blinds were drawn,
letting in Subdued light. Lady Blank.
glancing at the advancing figure, to
the establishment of the visitor, greeted
him thus: Have you a reference from
your last place. The general took in
the situation instantly and. with II
twinkle in his eye, unobserved by the
hostess. answered respectfully, Yes.
my lady" What were your duties?'
was the next query. well my lady.
in the last three places l held l was
vice president of the United States,
major general in the Confederate army
and secretary OF war of the Confeder-
ate States of America"
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30

A young lady endowed with the
most sensitive nerves mentioned one
evening to a few friends assembled in
her drawing room that she had hor-
ror of the rose THE perfume of this
flower said she, gives me severe
headache and faintness.' The CONVEX
sation was interrupted by the visit OF
fair friend who wore a rosebud in
her headdress. Our fair heroine turned
pale directly, tossed her arms and fell
gracefully in a swoop upon the otto
man.
What Il strange nervous suscepti-
hility. What a delicate and impress
sionabie organization. cried the spec
tators. For merey's sake, madam, go
away. Don't you see that you have
caused this attack"
~ replied the astonished lady.
Yes. of course it is the perfume of
the rosebud in your hair
Really, if it is SO | will sacrifice the
guilty flower but judge before you
sentence"
The flower, detached from the head
dress, was passed from hand to hand
among the spectators. but their solicit
tude soon gave way to different emo
ton. The fatal rosebud was an arti-
fetal one!-L London Leader.
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30
wordsworth's "Joke."

A rare old book, called The Living
Authors OF England" published In
1910, commences with study OF
" ordsworth, in which is recorded what
Is said to be the only joke the poet ever
made. At friends house after din.
ner, 1t appears. the conversation turned
upon wit and humor. Thomas Moore.
who was present. told some anecdotes
of Sheridan. whereupon Wordsworth
observed that he did not consider him
self a witty poet. Indeed" he said.
II do not think | was ever witty but
once in my life"
Being pressed to tell the company
what this special drollery was, the
poet said, with some hesitation: well
| will tell you. was standing some
time ago at the entrance of my cot
tage at Rydal Mount when a man ac-
costed me with the question, Pray,
sir, have you seen my wife pass by !!
whereupon | answered, Why. my good
friend, | didn't know till this moment
that you had wife!"
The company stared and upon realiz
ing that this was all there was to the
poets joke burst into a roar Of laugh
ter, which Wordsworth smilingly ac-
cepted as a genuine compliment to the
brilliancy of his Wallpaper Week
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30
where to Keep Honey.

When first commenced to keep bees
nearly every one stored his honey in
the cellar, considering such to be the
place that would keep it best, for it
was thought Il cool or cold place was
needed to preserve this product. Even
now it is hard work to get this notion
out of the heads of many who buy
honey. However 1t was soon found
out that II kept for any length Of time
In cool, damp place honey com
mences to sweat or ooze out OF the I'M
sealed cells and sour, while II left in
such a place for two or three months
the cell cappings acquire a watery ap-
pearance and finally burst. Every bee
keeper OF any experience now recon-
mends a room whose temperature can
be kept at so to 90 degrees as the only
place in which honey should be kept.
BY thus storing the product it grows
thicker and of better quality as time
advances. says a New England Home
stead correspondent.
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30

Andrew was probably crucitied at
Patrae. in Achaia; Bartholomew. said
to have been fayed alive and crucitied
with head down, in Armenia; James
brother Of John, Herod killed him with
his sword; James, son Of Alpheus
thrown from the temple and stoned to
death; John, time of death conjec-
ture; Judas said to have hanged him
self in very bungling manner; Jude.
said to have died naturally and also
claimed 10 have been martyred; Mat
thew, claimed as n martyr, but proba
bly, died natural death; Peter. cruel
fed at Rome; Philip, said to have been
tortured to death in Greece; Simon
(Canaania), crucfied in Judaea in the
reign Of Domitian; Thomas, probably
put to death with Il lance in Persia or
India.
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30

The question having arisen az to
whether the English version of the
Lords Prayer is a true reproduction of
the original as found in Matthew. a
native Greek scholar proceeds to an
swer it. He deals with the petitions in
order, translates each word with all the
shades Of meaning of the original and
then presents the whole In this form:
Our Father which art in heaven, hal
lowed be thy name-thy dominion come
thy (tixeD purpose be done, as in
heaven. so. too, on earth. Give us this
day our mere Tor simpler bread and for
give MS our debts as we forgive our
debtors theirs. and let us not fall into a
tempter's snare, bot deliver us from the
evil one"
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30

In 1864 Lincoln was of all men the
least commended by the Republicans
in congress. On one occasion an editor
visiting Washington asked Senator
Thaddeus Stevens to introduce him to
some members of congress who were
favorable to Lincoln's reelection. Ste
vens led him to the desk of Mr.. Ar.
mold of Illinois There" said he, lis
the only Lincoln member Of congress
that know" Stevens himself regard
ed Lincoln as incompetent and weak
Henry Wilson (afterward vice presi.
DENT spoke Of him as politically fail
ure Greeley had a low opinion of his
ability His personal friends, such as
Washburn. Raymond and Thurlow
Weed. believed his reelection an i'm
possibility. Even Lincoln himself at
one time doubted It'll. T. Peck in
Bookman
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30
just Snee1e Right Out.

"Never suppress sneeze," said the
trained nurse to the young woman
who had just performed that polite
act. 1T is great strain on all the
nerves and blood vessels of the head,
as it throws all the action to the back
of the head instead of letting it come
out of the mouth safely and naturally.
The unusual and hard strain on Il lit
likely to burst it and cause instant
death. A loud sneeze does not sound
very nice, but it is safe thing to do
every time"
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30

There is II tablet III the sailors home
at Melbourne TO James Mari. lie was
a sailor before the mast on the Rip.
On July 10, 1878, the Rip was caught
In a squat. Mari sat astride of the
gaff when a great wave broke over the
boat and brought down the mainmast
There was only one chance to save the
Rip. That was to cut away the litter.
But Mari chung to the broken spar, and
to cut away meant to send him over
board to death. SO, looking at him
doubtfully the men hesitated their
axes in their hands. Mari, helpless
pondered. He saw that his death
would be the boats salvation, and he
shouted:
Cut away, mates! Goodbyw
Then he let himself fall into the cold,
wild sea.
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30

According to John Stow, Chronicler
and antlquary, about 1860 who wrote
and published Summarize Of English
Chronicles Sir William Collingwood
was executed in 1854 for writing the
following political squio, in manner
which, in his day, was considered most
excellent wit:
The rat, the cat and Love the dog
Rule all England under the Hog.
This was during the reign of Rich
ard Ill, at time when the chief
agents of his evil schemes were Gates
by, Ratcliff and Lovel. Lovel was then
a common name for dog and as
white boar was displayed on the kings
escutcheon the reference to hog"
was obvious and so offensive that it
brought about the writer's death.
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30

ton and prove = reconstructive rather
than promoter of waste. This will qiUe
nature Il fair chance to put in motion
normal work Of repair and tissue building.
Such n tonic was grown In Natures
Laboratory, hidden in the ground and
brought thence forty years ago by DIR.
K. V. Pierce, who has made the treat
ment Of lingering diseases his lifelong
study and care.
He uses glyceric extracts instead of
alcoholic ones, exactly proportioned and
combined by processes of his own inven-
ton, first used in his private practice and
now given out freely to the world in his
Golden Medical Discovery" which Is
composed OF Golden Seal root, Queens
root, Stone root, Black Cherry bark, Blood
root and Mandrake root.
Mrs. A. T. Jones. of s2e Hayes Street. San
Francisco Cal. writes F.: AS child | was
delicate. and great care WAS taken of me
because some OF my relatives had died of
consumption. although my father and mother
were healthy. | grew up with only the or
binary diseases OF all children. but about
two years ago | contracted q severe cold.
which would not yield to such home-trest-
ment as was handy. Doctors we're tried but
after three months of this treatment | was
Pierces Golden Medical Discovery. and am
glad to say that three bottles not only cured
me of the cold and cough but made me feel
better than ever had before. will always
have bottle OF this medicine In the house"
&sN~~.~e> These tiny. sugar-coated anti
sNN bilious granules regulate and
AsW@N~ inviRorate stomach. Liver and
Bowels. Do not beget the pill
habit" but cure constipation. One or two
each day for laxative and regulator three
or four for an active cathartic. Once tried
always In favor. Put up in walls; always
fresh and reliable.
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30

A London paper relates that crowd
OF sightseers scurrying across the road
from the Strand caused a partial block
in the traffic. The tagging of particu-
larly pompous old gentleman reused
the ire Of held up cabby. Now, then,
hurry up there, can't yerY' he shouted.
Am not hurrying. cabmanr was
the mild cxpostuation.
Urryin'Y' snorted cabby, with a
flick of his whip. You're a-iumpn'
about like bit o stickin' plaster
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30
SKIM MILK CALVES.
Large, strong Calves Raised on skim
MIX and Dry Grain.

MIX and Dry Grain.
The increased use of milk SeparatorS
in the dairy sections of the country
has resulted in greater attention being
paid to raising calves on skim milk. II
is well settled at this time that practi
cally as large. strong and vigorous
calves can be grown on skim milk, sup
plemented by some suitable grain feed.
as on whole milk, provided they are
properly fed and cared for. There is
no question but that whole milk is the
normal food for calves. and when The
cream or butter fat is removed it be
comes necessary to replace 1t in the
calf ration with some equivalent but
cheaper form of feed. A number of
the stations have made experiments
with different feeds to learn which is
most efficient for this purpose. Corn
meal has been found the cheapest and
best supplemental grain for this pur-
pose at the Iowa station Whole corn
and Katiir corn meal have given good
results at the Kansas station. At the
Nebraska station germ oil meal and
lnseed meal have proved efficient sub
stitutes. ana in IA recent bulletin of the
Idaho station good gains with oats are
reported.
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30

arms. The hole for the rod OBJ is drill
ed eighteen inches deep from the top
of the post The lever (C is OF any
desirable length, but the short end go
must extend out beyond the end of the
arms. F is rope attached to the long
end. ID is the stay chain Of wagon
fastened by a cleyis to the lever, and
slips back and forth in the cut out at
Ii. The end of the lever 60 is lowered;
the lower hook of u is hooked on TO a
gambrel stick. the carcass raised up
until the gambrel is Il little higher than
the arm, when if is easy to slide it over
on to the arm.
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30

Pepsoids cure the worst forms of Dys-
pepsia and all other Acute or Chronic
Stomach Disorders by repairing the worm
out lining of the stomach and destroys
all disease germs. Dyspepsia once cured
in this way never returns. Pepsoids is
not patent medicine, but the successful
prescription of DIR. Oldham who has
cured thousands of cases of Chronic
Stomach Troubles, among them Cancer
of the Stomach. 1t cost more money to
produce Pepsoids than any similar prepa-
nation on the market, owing to the large
Sold 10
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30
Mans unreasonableness

is often as great as woman's. Butt Thos. S.
Austin, Mgr. of the Republican" Of Leav-
enworth, Ind, was not unreasonable, when
he refused to allow the doctor to operate on
his wife, for female trouble. "Instead." he
says, 1--WE concluded to try Electric Bitters.
Ny wife was then so sick, she could hardly
leave her bed. and FIVE Isl physicians had
Bitters, she was perfectly cured, and can now
perform all her household duties" Guaran-
teed by Sampson & Avore and G. r. Fogg,
druggists, price soc.
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30
,ssaERRN@zs..
FlELD'aNp CRRpEN
HANGING HOGS.

How TO Make Hog Hanger That lie
Highly Recommended.
This plan of hog hanger was orig
inally given in Ohio Farmer. A cor
respondent asserts that he has never
seen any other so good, and he gives
the following directions for its con
struction The post (A) should set four
feet in the ground, and the height
above ground should be about five feet
six inches TO the cross arms (El. The
arms are Of by stuff forty eight to
hfty-six inches long. The top of the
post is eighteen inches above the upper
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30
A Diplomatic Answer.

Admiral Drake when II lad ut the be
ginning OF his first engagement was OBJ
served to shake and tremble very much
and. being rallied upon it, observed
with presence OF mind. or, ut al
events. OF humor in which even Mel
son was lacking. My flesh trembleS NJ
the anticipation of the many and great
dangers into which my resolute and
undaunted head will lead me"
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30

The first treaty Of Portsmouth, \. IL,
was signed July II, 1713. the contract
ing parties being belligerent Indians
and the whites. The news of the treaty
Of Utrecht which ended Queen Anne's
war, reached the city Oct %. 1872. The
Indians desired treaty. and it was
formally signed on the above date.
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30

The Only difference between the mod
ern family row and that OF the older days
is tina, the modern one isn't as big a
family.
suids up tho sy ste n; puts pure rich blood IN
the veins, makes men aud women strong anu
hea thy. Burdock Blood Bitters. AT any drug
store.
Wise is the employer who knows how
to do the things he employs olh'rs to do.
Al suffered for months from sore throat:
Eclectric Oil cured me IN twenty-four hours :
VI. 3. Gist Hawesyie. by.
lust because talk Is cheap is no rea-
son why any one shonld use lot OF IT,
"Cure the cough and rave the life" Dr.
Woods Norway Pine syrup cures coughs and
colds, down to the very verge of consumption.
Never expect photograph album TO in
terest man long unless it has his picture
in 1t.
Ten thousand demons gnaNing away at ones
vitals cou dn't be much worse than the tortures
of itching piles. Yet there's cure. Doahs
Ointment never fails.
We all have enough to be cross about.
Still, 1t is'ni good idea TO show 1t.
For over Sixty Year,
MRS. window SOOTHING SYRUP has been
used for over a. years by millions OF mothers
for heir children while teething, with perfect
success. 1t soothes the child ,soitei s the gums
| sllsys all pain; cures wind tohc, and is tie
best remedy for Disrrhoea. II will relieve the
poor little sufferer Immediately, Soil by
Druggists In every part of the world. Twenty
five cents q bottle Re sure aud ask for "Mrs
WI slows Soothing syrup" and take no other
kind.
About all we get out of wishes is The
pleasure OF making them.
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30

disease is VlROr OF
body and activity
of the natural func-
tionS.
The kind of u.s.
siStance is import
ant. 1t must not
be stimulation for
that gives but tenn
porary effect, and
the reaction Is more
t han depressing.
Take q tonic-one
that will re-eSta b.
lish normal diges-
ton and assimila-
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30
THE NEW WAY TO CURE DYSPEPSIA
FREE

or woman now has the opportunity of
possessing a strong and healthy stom-
ach. Will you grasp itr People with
weak stomachs are always in misery.
Pepsoids have made thousands of people
happy by giving them what nature in
tended everyone should possess--a strong
and healthy stomach, 50 as to enjoy the
best there Is in life. Try Pepsoids to-day,
price only 50 cents bottle at drug store.
Or you may have full sized bottle free by
writing the Medical Department OF The
Vic Chemical Co., Chicago. III.
Druggist.
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30

quantity of the purest Pepsin and other ex-
pensive drugs each tablet contains, (see
formula on bottle.) Pepsoids are sold at so
cents a bottle on an absolute guarantee to
cure, or money refunded. We will send
YOU. if Won have not used Pepsoids before,
a so-cent bottle FREE; merely send us
your name and address, and you will re-
ceive promptly full sized bottle. You do
not obligate yourself to pay cent. All we
ask after Pepsoids have cured or greatly
benefited You is, that you recommend
Pepsoids to your friends. Every man
skowhegan by c. r. Focc,
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30
@ lEH9EMMaEI|s1
Of Trains In Effect
October 8, 1905.

arrangements on tTu'uU WI EHoCt
October 8, 1905.
Trains leave SHOWN, gan ~ follows: SIS, SIS
A. h., for ali points West: also to Bangor.
Vanceboro, st. Stephen. Houlton, Woodstock.
st. John and Halifax.- 1.sb =. NJ, for Water.
willie. Oaklar d. Bingham, Lewiston, Augusta.
Gardner and Bruins wick. Portland and Boston.
Dexter, Dover and FoIcroit, areenville. Ban
gor, Oldtown, Patten and Houlton via b. d A.
R. r. and Mattawamkeag,-2.40 p. NJ, (mixedl
for watervilIe, enabling passengers to connect
for Oakland and I, take plight Pullman for
Portland and Boston.
ARRIVALS:-7I6 A. N. mixed from Water
senger from Portland, Oakland. Waterville.
Augusta and Bsngor.-l1.80 A. M. miyed from
Waterville. Sunday only.-4.6b and 500 P. N.
from all points. Sundays only. IL 80 A. A =.
from Portland, Augusta and Waterviile.
GEO. F. EVANS, Vice Pres, and Gen. Mgr
r. e. BOOTHBY. General Pas'r. Agent.
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30

Judge-You are charged with us
sault and battery What have you TO
say? Prisoner Not word, yPrOnner
It was sayn' too much got me into this
scrape.
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30

There is no cough medicine so pop.
ular as Foley's Honey and Tar. 1t oon-
tains no opiates or poisons and never
fails to cure. r. w. Buchanan.
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30
The Kansas Method.

The method of procedure in rearing
the skim milk calf at the Kansas sta
ton was about as follows: The calf
was allowed to run with its mother the
first four or five days of its life 1t
was then removed and left twenty four
hours without food. when ii became
hungry and WAS easily taught to drink.
For a week thereafter 1t was fed whole
milk at the rate of four pounds in the
morning two pounds at noon and four
pounds at night The second week
about the same amount of milk was
given in two feeds, morning and night.
Within two or three weeks after re
moval from the COW skim milk was
gradually substituted for whole milk
at the rate Of half pint per feed I'M
til the entire amount was skim milk.
About a month after the calf was TAX
en- from the cow it was receiving twelve
to fourteen pounds of skim milk: at
two months. eighteen pounds. and final
ly reached twenty-five to twenty-four
pounds per day.
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30
OuEfN m Feaf.

Judge-Who bit your ear on Mrs.
Black (wishing to protect her husbands
IL did it mahself Exchange
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30

1t Is a wonder that some stAtistician has
never found out how soon after wedding
the word rights" begins to appear.
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30

A looking-glass seldom shows woman
as she would like to see herself.
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30
How Grain lis Fed.

The grain added to the ration was
fed dry in boxes. The calves began to
eat grain when ten days to two weeks
old. At first handful was put in the
calfs mouth as soon as it had finished
drinking it's milk and it soon learned
to eat with "A relish fPm the feed
boxes. The Kaffir corn meal or other
grain was never mixed with the milk
The calves were fed what grain they
would eat up clean.
The Somerset reporter., 1905-11-30
UNSEEN DANGER is ON OUR TRACK

From the time OF our birth till we lie
down for the last time.
The best defense from the dangers of
Canyon City news. (Canyon City, Tex.) 1903-1908, 1905-03-31
More Railroad Talk.

The following from Chicago
dated March "a, appeared in
Saturdays Dallas News:
During several months the
Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe
has been at work on plans to
connect its transcontinental line
in New Mexico with the Texas
system, which is to form a di-
rect route TO Galveston
according to the Tribune
the survey is to run from ANA
rillo or Canyon City, on the
Pecos Valley system, to Brown
wood, where it will connect
with the Galveston line, which
soon will be completed.
Construction work on the
western division, which is TO
run from the connecting point
on the Pecos Valley, will be
carried out as rapidly as posi-
bic. il being planned to have
the work on both divisions in
progress at the same time. The
cut off will be more than five
hundred miles.
Canyon City news. (Canyon City, Tex.) 1903-1908, 1905-03-31
Theological Comment.

Sunday, March 10, al the Chris
tian church, Elder Jesse B. haston
took the position, that according TO
the Scriptures, every professor OF
Christianity should set aside al
least one-tenth Of his income for
the Lords work. Almost precisely
the same grounds were taken by
Presiding Elder }, NJ. Sherman in
his two sermons at the Methodist
church Sunday. Rev. }. d. Bal
lard has also given expression to
the same views at the Baptist
church.
In the humble opinion OF The
News there is nothing at all re-
markable in this coincidence or
consense of opinion that would tend
to make it peculiar to the pulpit>
OF Canyon City" as a friend en-
pressed it. There is abundant
Scripture to support the proposition,
in fact we may say, prove it, and
if it be taken to mean and cover all
acts of charity not compulsory, one
tenth of persons income is surely
not above "a reasonable service. ="
BY the term income, as used here.
| he News means salary or net
proceeds OF a business investment
Of any kind.
OF course, there are many per-
sons whose income is barely suffi-
Gent, if enough, TO supply those
lawfully dependent upon them with
the actual necessaries OF lite-these
people may Be exempt from the
1.-THE they should be.
Canyon City news. (Canyon City, Tex.) 1903-1908, 1905-03-31
Stock Shipments.

Fulton Brown shipped one car Of
cows and yearlingS to Kansas City
Saturday.
Bob Odom of the Green Valley
Cattle Co, also shipped 3 cars of
yearling steers to the same place.
Both lots had been on full feed
of cake and crushed kaffir and
maize, but were only in fair condi-
ton as butcher stuff owing to the
unfavorable wet weather conditions,
which have been decidedly bad for
outside feeding.
Canyon City news. (Canyon City, Tex.) 1903-1908, 1905-03-31

The citizens of Hereford have re-
Gently put a strong, substantial
and neat appearing fence with all
necessary stiles around the twenty
acres upon which the Christian
College buildings are situated
Trees and shrubs have also been
tastefuIly set out and good walks
are being constructed. Some five
dollars have been expend-
ed in this work, all donated by the
citizens of Hereford.