, 1905-01-11
9 INN
Written for the JOURNAL.

L AVE yes heard of a boarding house down by the shore,
Kept by a couple by name of FILLMORE,
= Related by blood to Knlmuch and Kilmany,
Who came years ago from a place called Kilkenny.
FILLMORE was far greater than Dewey or Shater,
There's no countn' the number of lives he was after.
No death by the sword was he able of dom;
But killed 'em off slow with the innocent pruen.
There were nine sturdy b~ackguards all trimming with health,
Which is better we mind me than riches or wealth;
When they came to Kllmores they weighed nearly a ton,
To be sure of me count nineteen hundred and one.
But alas and a ack from poor ivn' and pruens,
They lost many a pound and shrank to mere ruin;
They lost weight SO surely they'ed fly like a feather,
Ifthey ventured abroad in cold, windy weather.
One day they all had a bit of a speech.
To the landlord FILLMORE some manners to teach:
CHOW whist ye boud landlord, it's nary a penny
Will ye get while ye serve these pruens, Killmany."
And they spoke up together with some little heat;
"'Tis praties we're after an a bit of good mate,
No more upon pruens It's us you'll be feedin,'
A strike an a riot ye're after a breedin'.
Fillmore looked up with a witherin' frown:
"Ye'l eat all got, which is nigh fifty poun',
Before yell get somethin' more nice for yer atm,
Than pruens stewed up with molasses for Swatein' ;"
Fifty pouns' p moaned poor Reley, "'Ts many a day,
Wen have them feminist us can any one say?
How to eat up the fifty pounds all in a hape,
And not dream of bad pruens all night in our Shape ?'
81 know me- said Able, "a man who is poor
He worked for a grocer and swallowed the store,
Barrels and boxes of stock without chewin',
He'll not gag a whit at a diet of pruen.'
When Christmas arrived with its clatter and din,
Came a Dago that day to Poverty Inn,
And seated himself at the foot of the table,
Right next to his bald headed friend MI. Able.
Bring on roared a MAJ by name of McDuff,
''Bring on twenty pounds of the pizenous stuff,
We've got We a man who'll ate all We bring,
And after he's done for more he will slug"
They gave him five pounds as a sort of a feeler,
He swaneyed them down an gazed at the dealer;
They gave him ten pounds and he gasped like a fish,
And swalleyed the pruens, likewise the dish.
He swaleyed napkins, toothpicks and pits,
He swaleyed a pair of Murrays brown mitts,
He swaneyed a pair of Casey's blue jeans,
Likewise a Christmas tree, also the greens.
.MiI-a-murther," roared Kilmore. ''Bad cess to the baste.'
As he picked himself: ''To the kitchen I'll haste"
Out where the last of the pruens was fxn',
Five big chunks of dynamite he started a mixin'.
The Dago he swalleyed the dynamite down,
With nary a ordnance and nary a frown,
And got up SO softly and sat by the stove;
While out through the door the nine boarders dove.
Asleep and a snoring in loud strident tones,
When FILLMORE picked him up like a barrel of bones,
By the back of his coat and the seat of his pants;
Killmore's light feet to the windydid dance.
Out through the windy pane, out through the sash,
Dago and dynamite went with a crash;
Out in the street in the slobbery mud,
Felippo Dominicus went with a thud.
There's a "Boom' in the air, there's a hole in the ground,
Of Fenippo the pruen fend nary a pound;
The pruen pits raining all over our state,
That's why the weathers been cloudy of late.
E. HARRISON RANDOLPH
Dated, Holly Beach, N. J., January 10, 1905.