davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1905-05-18

man that he invested in . racing stable,
and the servants bowed low to the old
man and called him Your 'ighness.' and
that settled the old pickle person, and he
fell into the trap OF building q wnhouse
in London.
Then he went home and made some
more pickles. and the daughter cabled
him to come right over. rs they had been
invited to entertain the king and q lot OF
other face cards in the pack. And the
old man thought it would be great to get
in the king row himself, SO he shoveled
a lot of big bills into some packing
trunks and went over to fix up for the
king. The castle had to be redecorated
for about six miles, up one corridor and
down the other. but Old Pickles stood
the raise, because he thought it would
be worth the money to be on terms of in
timacy with king.
Then when it was all ready. and the
old man was going to stand at the front
door and welcome the king. they made
him go to his room. back about a half
a mile in the rear of the castle, and for
two weeks old Pickles had his meals
brought to his room, and when it was
over. and his sentence had expired, he
was let out, and all he saw of the grand
entertainment to the crowned heads was
ravine full of empty wine bottles. a
case of jimjams for son-in-l law, a case
of nervous prostration for daughter
and hydrophobia for himself. MY old
pickle friend has got, at this date, three
million good pickle dollars invested in
your id island, and all he has to show
for it is sick daughter, neglected BIZ
a featherhead of a husband, who will
only speak to old pickles when he wants
more money, and grandchild that NAV
die teething at any tine. You are q
nice lot of ducks to talk to me about
your English society being better than
our American civilization. You get !"
and dad drove the dukes out.
I think they are going to have dad ar.
rested for treason. But don't tell ma
cause she may think treason serious.
Yours. HENNERY.
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1905-05-18
N JuDCF'S WIFF ~ o.. : . :,
|QuiekIy cuT0t u I s. Il.
Course ot po.TU-ol,

Mrs. MINNIE =. NcALLk6xEk,
WI wife of Judge McAliister, writes
from 1917 West 3Srd street. 4inne-
apolis, Mimi, - follows:
'Isnftered tor ysass VIA 2 Dets -
the small Of my ksck 80 nigbf ai6e. IL
infeskened often with ny doOeStke aa6
social duties snd IaeveregeposedE haf
I would be cured, - the doctorss 0o6.
icine did not seem 70 help ne asy.
Fortunately member Of our Order
advised me to try Peruns and gave il
such high praise that I decided to try
it. Although started in with little
faith, felt SO much better in . week
that / felt encouraged.
81 took it faithfully for seven weeks
and am happy indeed to DO sble 20 ssy
that am entirely cured.
"WOrds kaiI TO express my Grsfifude.
Perfect health once more % tie hese
thing I could WISH for, snd tasks %
Peruns. 4 enjoy thar nov.ss
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1905-05-18
AMERICA SUPREME IN TRADE
Statistics Show Couclusivelv That
This Country Leads the World
in Commerce.

During the last month, for the pur.
pose OF ascertaining the facts as to
Americas relaive position, industrially,
among other nations, have studied the
statistical reports of our own and other
leading nations, says writer in Cent
Per Cent, and the investigations and
comment of almost every important
daily and financial journal in America.
The universal verdict of the press, ire
spective of party Affiliations, is that
Americas supremacy has been estab-
lished and that the nation faces the
dawn of 1905 steadied by the knowledge
of the stupendous truth that, CONNER
cially, among the other nations of the
world, she stands for the first time in
the forefront and alone. The RESPONSE
bility which comes with such knowledge
is SOLDERING.
But the report of the bureau of statis-
tics of the government department OF
commerce will of course carry greater
conviction than the news reports and
opinions of even the most reliable Jour-
mails. This reports figures are in all
cases estimates. except OF the census of
1900, but are approximately accurate;
however, for the most important items
the actual figures are available.
In cotton consumption the percentage
of increase between 1880 and 1903 in the
United States is 107 per cent, as against
46 per cent. in the united kingdom, Ger
many and France combined; in pig iron
437 per cent. of increase for America,
against 1O2 per cent increase in the
united kingdom. Germany. France and
Russia combined; in coal 364 per cent.
increase in America. against 50 per cent.
increase in the four European countries
combined
And as the percentage of increase is
larger. so the actual quantities of these
three articles consumed are larger. The
consumption. of cotton in the United
States in 1909 exceeded by SO per cent.
that of the united kingdom and was
nearly double that of Germany and
France combined; of pig iron, the con-
sumption in the United States was con-
siderably more than double that of the
united kingdom; of coal. the consump-
ton in the United States was nearly
double that of the united Kingdom and
fully double that of Germany.
America has $4,000 900 people, a total
wealth of $106, 100000, 900, and the cash
value of the cotton, corn and wheat
crops for the year is about 81, OF, OG0, 600.
The new year will be one of almost I'M
paralleled prosperity.
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1905-05-18

cause don't want one of those crooked
sabers run into me and turned around
like corkscrew. Dad says can stay
in harem while he goes to the noun
tains with the bandits, and don't know
as care, as they say a harem is the most
interesting place in Turkey. You know
the pictures we have studied in the old
grocery, where whole bunch of beau
tiful women are practicing useing soap
in marble bath.
Well, don't you say anything to ma
about it, but dad has got his foot in il
clear up to the top button. 1t isn't any
thing scandalous, though there is a
woman at the bottom of 1t. You see, We
used to know girl that left home to go
out into the world and earn her own liv-
ing. She elocuted some at private par
ties and sanitariums, to entertain peo-
pie that were daffy, and were on the
verge of getting permanent bats in their
belfry, and after a few years she got on
the stage, and made a bunch of money,
and went abroad. And then she haG
married titled person. and everybody
supposed she was duchess, or count
ess, and ma. wanted us to inquire about
her when we got over here. Ma didn't
want us to go and hunt her up to board
with her. or anything. but just to get a
glimpse of high life, and see if our poor
little friend was doing herself proud in
her new station in life.
| Gee, but dad found her, and she ain t
any more of a duchess than am. Her
husband is a younger son of titled per-
son. but there isn't money enough in the
whole family to wad gun, and our poor
girl is working in shop, or store, SELL
ing corsets to support lazy. drunken
husband and a whole mess of children,
and while she is seven removes from a
duchess, she does not rank with the
woman who washes her mothers clothes
at home. Gosh, but dad was hot when
he found her, and after she told him
about her situation in life he gave her
yellow backed fifty-dollar bill, and
came back to the hotel mad, and wanted
to pack up and go somewhere else,
where he didn't know any titled persons.
That night a couple of dukes came
around to the hotel to sell dad some
stock in diamond mine in South Africa,
and they got to talking about how Eng
lish society held over our crude Ameri-
can society, until dad got an addition to
the mad he had when he called on our
girl. and when one of the dukes said
America was being helped socially by
the marriage of American women to
titled persons, dad got hot box, like
stalled freight train.
Says dad, says he: you Johnnies
are a lot of confidence men, who live
only to rope in rich American girls, SO
you can marry them and have their dads
lift the mortgages on your ancestral es-
tates, and put on tin roofs in place of the
mortgages, cause mortgage will not
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1905-05-18
HAS RUN ON WAR HISTORY
Second Hand Book Trade Made
Lively by Clash in the
Orient.

The trouble IN Russia has knocked
the cobwebs from my stock" said q
secondhand book dealer, in a down
town cross street. reports the New York
Sun. Il haven't many books about
Russia, but that doesn't seem to make
any difference with my customers. I
had one who asked for a volume on tho
czars-that was the way he asked for
it-that 1 had nothing in that line.
What was the next biggest thing
to this st. Petersburg massacre2' he
returned.
II told him that the French rsvolu-
ton rather overshadowed it, in my
opinion. Then he wanted to know how
many people were killed in that upris-
ing, and how long it lasted. From his
inquiry thought would be safe In not
being exact, SO Jumped the lot. 1t
seemed to please him.
"'Got anything about it?" he asked.
Il told him had, and climbed up
on my stepladder and pulled down about
a dozen volumes that hadn't seen day
light in years.
"'All of 'em about the French revo-
lution?' he asked. How much for tho
lot?'
well, shut my eyes and named the
first figure that thought of, and he
told me to wrap 'em up. He went away
apparently in happy mood.
"A few hours later another customer
came in and asked If had anything on
Russia. told him had just sold out
my Russian collection. adding that the
occurrence in st. Petersburg had Gre
ated quite demand.
"'What else have you here about revo-
lutions?' he asked.
II knew I had lot Of musty tones
on the commune in Paris. l had tried
to give them away several times. He
said he had heard about that, but that
he had forgotten whether it was big
thing. told him it was pretty lively
affair while it lasted.
""rie me up bundle of EN- he re-
piled, as if he were ordering lot Of
nails.
LAS he was about leaving, he asked mo
if was living during the civil war in
this country. told him that l had a dis
tinct recollection Of the whole trouble
"I wasn't here then,' he said. I'm
only 80 now But I've heard that it was
great war;
II told him he had heard correctly.
"'Do you think 1t was bigger thing
than Dewey's fight at Manila?' he asked.
II told him that in my opinion it was.
"How did it compare with the Samp-
son-Schley business at SantiagO?' he
asked.
II gave him my opinion about that.
"'That Spanish-American War; he
said, was bit too one-sided for me. /
want something that was nearer draw,
and that fingered, so to speak
II recommended a history of the civil
war. He said he could take some. I
asked him which history he would pre-
fer
"'Oh, don't care, he replied give me
about three dollars worth Of 1t. I've got
to catch up on this war business some
how. Everybody's asking me what
think of Russia and want to have some
thing to build on
well, that's the way 1t goes. If a man
hears about some horror or awful Gala
nifty he doesn't seem to be happy until
he learns of something previous which
was more horrible. It's human nature.
It helps my business, though"
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1905-05-18
the smell Of that ditch OF his clothes

yet.
Now he has got new idea. and that is
to go to some country where there are
bandits. different from the bandits here
in London. and be captured and taken to
the mountain Businesses, and held for
ransom until our government makes a
fuss about it. and sends warships ate.
us. tell dad it would be just our luck
to have our government fail to try to get
us. and the bandits might cut our heads
OFF and stick them on pole as warn
ing to people not to travel unless they
had a ransom concealed about their
clothes. But dad says he is out to see
all the sights, and he is going to be ram
somed before he gets home, If it takes
every dollar our governmenrhas got. I
think he is going to work the bandit
racket when we get to Turkey. but, by
ginger he can leave me at convent, be-
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1905-05-18
AvovR FOR DRILLING SALT
Compressed Air Furnishes the Power
for Working the Device Which
Mines Mineral.

In Muskeson. Mich, salt is used in
large quantities., and. consequently, the
warehouses Of the firms dealing In i:
are capacious enough to store away a
considerable supply. says Technical
World. AS is we'll known, salt. on &C.
count OF its a1inity for water. is a SUBJ
stance that has tendency to harden aud
cake when piled away any length OF
time. and some Of the cellars where it
is stored contain beds Of it 20 feet high.
and so hard that blu, little impression
can be made upon them even with the
pick or ak. For this reason a somewhat
curious device has been brought into uzs
to loosen the material so that it can
readily be secured. This is Q large boz
ing tool, or augur. which is operated by
compressed air. The augur is mounted
on a wheeled truck, which is guided by
handles projecting from the rear of tho
framework. The rear end of the augur
revolves In socket fitted into the frame
work, while the air is admitted to the
socket from the hose which supplies 1t.
When operated the boring tool is pushed
against the mass of salt and the augur
is set in motion and in minute or two.
SO rapidly does the tool work, hole
about five inches in diameter is made in
the formation the entire length Of the
augur. Then another hole is drilled par
allel with the first, and another. until
the pile has been undermined, SO to
speak, when its contents can easily be
broken out. The advantage of this meth
cd is seen when it is said that two men
can get out as much salt by the power
method as two dozen men by using picks
and shovels.
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1905-05-18
The Ghost Of Poland.

The bitterness with which the people
Of LODI, Warsaw and other Polish cit
les have fought against the Russian
troops long after the workmen Of s..
Petersburg were ''pacified" is but an
other instance to prove that the nation
which undertakes the extinction Of the
liberties Of brave people is preparing
FOR itself an almost endless task.-N. Y.
World.
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1905-05-18

can gangs that hold up train, and get
an express safe full OF greenbacks, and
shoots up mess of railroad hands and
passengers with Winchesters and au-
tomato pistols, and blows up cars with
dynamite and gets away and has to have
a bookkkeeper and cashier to keep
their bank accounts straight, could give
those old Claude Duvals and Sixteen
String Jacks cards and spades.
But civilization, dad says, has done
much for the highway robbery business.
and he says We in America have arrived
at absolute perfection. However, l was
much interested in looking over the
ground where my first heroes lived and
died. and did business, and when We
went to the prisons where they were
confined, and were shown where Ty-
burn Tree stood, that So many of them
we're hung on, tears came to my eyes
at the thought that was on the sacred
ground where my heroes croaked, and
went to their deaths with smiles on their
faces, and polite to the last. The guard
who showed us around thought that dad
and I were relatives of the deceased
highwaymen. and when we went away.
he said to dad: Call again, Mr.. Duval.
Always glad to serve any of the descend
ants Of the heroes. What line of robbery
are you in, Mr.. Duval?" Dad was mad,
but he told the guard he was now on the
stock exchange, and so we maintained
the reputation of the family.
l.; I,
back ride through Rotten Row, where
everybody in London that has the price,
rides horse, and no carriages are al
lowed. Dad was an old cavalry man
forty years ago, and he is stuck on his
shape when he is on horse, but he came
near breaking up the horse back parade
the day We went for the ride. The liv-
eryman gave us two bob-tafled nags, a
big one for dad and small one for me,
but they didn't have any army saddle for
dad. and he had to ride on one of these
little English saddles, such as jockeys
ride races on, and dad is SO big where
he sits on a saddle that you couldn't see
the saddle, and guess they gave dad
a hurdle jumper, because when we got
right amongst the riders, men and wOm-
en-, his horse began to act up, and some
one yelled, "Tally-ho," and that is
something about fox hunting. not a
coach, and the horse jumped fence and
dad rolled off over the bowsprit and went
into ditch of dirty water, and the horse
went of across field, and the policemen
fshed dad out of the ditch, and run him
through a clothes wringer or something,
and got him dried out, and sent him to
the hotel in an express wagon, and rode
my horse back to the liveryman and told
him what happened to dad, and they
locked me up in box stall until some
body found the horse, cause they
thought dad was horse thief, and they
held me for ransom. But dad came
around before night and paid my ran
som, and we were released. Dad says
Rotten Row is rotten, all right enough.
and by ginger it is. cause he has not got
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1905-05-18

Mrs. Carrie King, Darlington, Mo-,
writes:
81 have suffered for years with
biliousness, and kidney and liver
trou BILE.
"n caught little cold. the pains
were Increased and backache and
headache were Of frequent occurrence.
ssHowever, Peruna cured me-twelve
bottles made me healthy woman"
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1905-05-18
The Bad Boy Writes of Ancient and
Modern ELECTROMAGNETIC Gets .
Taste of High Life and His Dad
Tells the Story of the 50
Pickleman's Daughter.

by HON. GEORGE w. PECK, f.
Ex-Governor Of Wisconsin. formerly pub
Usher of "Peck's SUM- author of
''Peck's Bad Boy etc.) b.
Copyright. 1904, by Joseph b. Bowles)
LONDON, England.-My Dear Old
Skate: Well, if we are going to see any
of the other countries on this side of
the water before our return ticket ex-
pires, We have got to be getting move
on, and dad says in about a week we will
be doing. stunts in Paris that will bring
about q revolution, and wind up the re-
public of France, and seat some nine
spot on the throne that Napoleon used
to wear out his buckskin pants on.
Dad asked me tother day what I cared
most to see in London, and told him
l wanted to visit Newgate prison, and
the places made famous by the bold
highwaymen of a century or two ago.
He thought was daffy, but when told
him how had read "Claude-Duval' and
Sixteen String Jack" and all the high
way literature. in the haymew, when dad
thought l was wedding the garden, he
confessed that he used to hunt those
yellow covered books out of the manger
when was not reading them, and that
he had read them all himself, when I
thought he was studying for his cam
paign speeches. and so he said he would
go with me. So we visited Homestead
Heath, where Claude Duval used to ride
BLACK Bess." and hold up people who
travelled at night in post chaises, and VIC
| found splendid spots where there had
been more highway robbery going on
than any place east of Missouri. but l
was disguised when thought what
chumps those old highway robbers were.
compared to the American highway rob-
bers and hold up men Of the present day.
In Claude Duvals time he had brace
of flint-loclk pistols, which he had to ex-
anime the printing every time victim,
showed up, and while he was polite
when he robbed duchess. he used to kill
people all right. though If they had had
cameras at that time the flash from the
printing pan would have taken a fash
light picture of the robber, so he could
have been identified when he rode off in
the night to a roadside inn and filled up
on beer, while he counted the ten shil-
lings he had taken from the silk purse
Of the victim. Why. one of our Ameri-
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1905-05-18

A working politician who has attended
ing committee has coined this phrase:
Give me the by-products of politics and
l care not who makes the gas."-N. Y.
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1905-05-18
Help Yourself.

Cure Rheumatism, Weakness, Pains.
Impure Blood, Nervous Exhaustion, In
digestion or Stomach troubles, Skin dis
eases, Catarrh, ETC., by taking Pushech's.
Kuro; Prove. the effectiveness of this
other remedies have failed. Write for
free booklet to DIR. Pusheck, l92 Wash.
ington st., Chicago, Ill.
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1905-05-18

When the lobster has become extinct,
and ito extinction is said to be probable
If not certain, it might not be bad idea
mosquito. IN. " Leader.
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1905-05-18

The Indians who have not succeeded in
obtaining situations with wild west shows
are nearly all resentful and discontinued.
Washington Star.
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1905-05-18
GENERAL WEAKNESS AND FEVER
DISAPPEAR TOO.
That Had llads Life wrstched for
Many Years.

How . Woman Was Freed from Troubles
That Had Nads Life wrstched for
Many Years.
Tho immediate causes of headaches
vary, but most Of them como from poor
or poisoned blood. In anemia the blood
il scanty or thin tho nerves are imper-
fectly nourished and pain is the way in
which they express their weakness. In
colds tho blood absorbs poison from the
mucous surfaces, and tho poison initiates
the nerves and produces pain. In rheu-
matism. malaria and the grip, tho poison
In tho blood produces like discomfort. In
indigestion tho gases from the impure
matter kept in tho system affect tho
blood in the Same way.
The ordinary headache-cures ut best
give only temporary relief. They deaden
the pain but do not drive the poison out
Of tho blood. Dr.. Williams Pink Pills
on the contrary thoroughly renew the
blood and the pain disappears perma.
nently. Women in particular have found
these pills an unfailing relief in head.
aches caused by ansemia.
Miss Stella Blocker recently said: s'Dr.
Williams Pink Pills did mo great deal
Of good. had headache nearly all tho
time. After had taken three boxes Of
these pills I became entirely we'll"
Glow long had you suffered ?" she
was asked.
For several years. can't tell tho
exact date when my illness began for IL
came on by slow degrees. I had been
going down hill for many years."
Did you have any other ailmentsl"
"Iwas very weak and sometimes Ihad
fever. Ny liver aud kidneys were A.
fected as well as my head
Glow did you como to take the rem
edy that cured you?"
81 saw In q southern newspaper q
statement Of some person who was cured
Of a like trouble by Dr.. Williams Pink
Pills. Ny physician hadn't done me any
good, 20 bought . box Of these pills.
After I had taken one box I felt 20 much
better that kept on until I became en-.
tirely we'll"
Miss Blocker's homo IL at Leauder,
Louisiana. civilians Pink Pills arc
sold by al druggists. Beddes headache
they cure neuralgia, sciatica, nervous
prostration. partial paralysis and rhsa-
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1905-05-18

Too Risky.
Simple-Only the brave deserve tho
fair.
Spoofer-Only the very brave dare
take 'em on nowadays.-Ally Sloper.
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1905-05-18
Breathed Mora Frealx.

Uncle Dick-What IL the baby 80
pleased about?
Nurse expect he heard Mrs. Ducie say
Just now that he didn't look a bit like any
of his relations. Stray Stories.
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1905-05-18

This Il what the Cream Separator has
proved to be. Twenty yeaEa Of expert.