Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1905-12-19
Mr.. Next on the
Life Insurance
Investigation

| ASAiu tlN6Al, IL 10 d
GOWN right shame that you attend that
l,le insurance investigation day after
dav and listen to those horrible dis.
/ closures To my mind those presi-
uehts and vice presidents and second
vice presidents and directors are posi-
tiVeiy too vile to be looked at by a
gentleman, even though he has been
spared from toll and rendered rich by
the payment of his fathers insurance. /"
lis not the piety nor the pulchri-
tude of the presidents and vice presi-
dents and second vice.presidents and
directors that beget my regular at
tendance" replied Mr.. Next, "'tis my
love for subtle humor. That legisla-
tive investigation is the best comedy
that has struck this town since the
run of 16 to l.. It's hot stuff, and the
leading man, Mr.. Hughes. is funnier
than Joe Miller's Joke Book ever
dared to be.
That legislative investigating com.
mittee started out with bunch of
promises that sounded like the stump
speech of municipal ownership can
didate. They were going to convict
all the presidents for working the
graft and let everyone of lis in on the
divvy of those deferred dividends,
Have they made good, Not on your
life. What they have done is to un-
earth the fact that the high graft is
not worked at all by the presidents
II is done by the state legislators
THOSE guys have been squeezing the
insurance companies of this country
so hard that dividends simply had to
be deferred
According to the evidence brought
out an awful lot of money has been
removed from the vaults OF those in
surance companies for Legislative pur-
poses. And what is that! Translate
that phrase-legislative purposes
into good old-fashioned a-spade's-a-
spade English and it's Just plain hold
up. Are the presidents of those insur-
ance companies philanthropists. In
deed they are not. Do they cough up
to those state legislators because they
are in love with them! Indeed they
do not They do it because they are
forced to. If they didn't those legis-
lators would pass law making it
Felony for man to leave his widow
and orphans a cents worth of insur-
ance.
Mark my word, there is room for
lots of Improvement in those insur-
ance companies, but it can't be made
by any bandwagon Investigations. The
false alarm spread by Mr. Hughes has
done more harm than good. 1t has
caused a lot of old men-and some
young ones, toto allow their poll
cies to lapse, and it won't be long be-
fore an army of sad-face widows and
orphans will be feeling the sting of
poverty. Take it from me, it's crime
to cook up a fright that will, in the
end, send our poor old widows to the
washtub and sewing machine What
we ought to do is to urge every policy
holder to stand pat until we have
chance to investigate the legislative
investigating committee.
Getting back to the funny side of
the affair, how's this for high-class
humor:
"Mr Hughes Mr.. Curdy Makeall
are you acquainted with the firm of
Cashdown and Buylow?'
Mr.. Curdy Mal,eall:-I am. sir
Both members are personal friends of
mine
Mr.. Hughes:-Ts it not fact, Mr..
Curdy Makeall, that the New York
Mutually Inequitable Life Insurance
company, of which you are tile presi-
dent at the expense of the widows and
orphans of my country, patronizes the
firm of Cashdown & Buylow?'
Mr.. Curdy Makeall:-It is fact,
sir
Mr., Hughes (eyes bullying with ter
ror) MIR. Cnrdy Makeall. | find upon
examing the books of the New York
Mutually Negotiable Life Insurance
company that on Friday, October 10, a
purchase amounting to one hundred
dollars was made from the firm of
Cashdown & Buylow. Did the New
York Mutually Inequitable Life Insur-
ance Company advertise for bids be-
fore making that purchaser
"Mr. Curdy Makeall:-'It did not,
sir
"Mr. Hughes with more terror in
his eyes) Mr. Curdy Makeall, do
you mean to say that you permitted
that purchase to be made from your
friends without giving the