davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

- NE Of the safest subjects on
which the average man may ex-
~ patiats Ia matrimony. IT'S safe
because no one knows anything
about II. and yet every one is
full to the brim with theories that
would settle the marital problem on
the spot, II they could only find the
right spot. It is also safe for the reason
that no matter what q man thinks
about Il he Is usually righti he Ii
also usually wrong. That's the real
beauty Of the sub1ecti there are SO
many different species and genera and
families Of the anoient and honor
able institution Of matrimony that
it's fair to amume that no matter how
crazy and crack-brained q mans
ideas may be he II almost certain to
md some instances that viii ft In
with his generalization II he will only
wait long enough. He II certain also
70 ind several thousand cases that
don't come within q hundred miles
Of ooinoidins with his conclusions.
Therefore Il will bs perfectly safe for
us to unfold some Of the fruits Of our
observation and set them up In the
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

periods Of luxury when delicate viands
pleased the palate and beautiful works
of art embellished the homes Of the
fortunate. But was life itself any
truer and finer because Of the outward
advantages? On the contrary corrup-
ton and decay were everywhere evi-
dent. The truth Is, easy times and fine
character do not somehow seem to be-
long together"
The practical upshot OF the matter
is not that we should go out of our way
to experience hardship, but that when
1t comes our way, as 1t probably will,
we should stand up under 1t manfully.
It Is hard, one might as well admit, to
have to rise early and work late, to
have to meet your bills and bear your
responsibilities. in the home, In busi-
ness and In society. 1t is hard to suffer
the loss of money and of friends. It is
hard to endure illness or invalidism. It
is hard to be misjudged and misunder-
stood. But because of all these things
our lives deepen and broaden. So IL
the hardship comes through no fault of
ours we ought to go out to greet 1t In
the spirit Of Robert Browning, and
with his lines upon our lips,
Then welcome each rebuf
That turns earths smoothness rough
Each sting that bids nor sit nor stand but goi
Be our Joy three parts pain,
Strive and hold cheap the strain.
Learn, nor account the pang:
Dare. never grudge the throei
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15
T He FOOLI SH
By Nicholas Memo

cratic Mrs. de Spinks about the
"ceows" and other allied subjects. He
knew that there would be an awful
contretemps-althoug he wasn't sure
what contretemps meant, except that
he thought 1t had something to do
with misplaced English or an inoppor-
tune bill collector.
Having made up his mind that Mary
Jane, which was the name Of the rus
tic maiden. would never be able to
hold up her end of the log when it
came to really polite log-rolling. he
broke the news to her gently that he
feared that they were not altogether
compatible. Mary Jane took 1t very
calmly and married young farmer
with q section OF land the next week.
Meanwhile Jenkins foregathered with
future and the ideal wife, who should
not bring the blush Of shame to his
manly brow when the English Embas-
sador should be dining with him. It's
always well to be loaded for Embas-
sadors and other foreign products. al
though they may never get through
the Custom-house.
BY and by In the course Of his wan
derings Jenkins discovered . young
woman who scanned to him to corre-
spond to the specifications As proof
Of her versatility he noticed that she
knew the functions OF all the forks at
q ten-course dinner and could tell the
difference between champagne and gin
ger ale. It's wise woman who can
do all these things. Having satisfied
himself as to her qualifications, Jen-,
kins made what seemed to him to be,
fair and square business proposition.
He was to furnish the self-rising am.
bition and the exalted station and,
she was to provide the gracious smile,
and the welcoming hand. Much to his,
surprise she laughed him to scorn. Sit.
around and watch some fool man max
Ing himself think that he was the only.
dirigible balloon in the business7 Not,
II she knew herself. What she want
ed was an automatic bank account and
free hand with the checkbook.
Saddened but not defeated Jenkins,
rallied his forces for another attack,
but 1t was no use. Wherever he made,
application for a wife to assist him In
supporting the dignity Of his position;
he found that the candidates expected
the supporting to come from the other}
direction. While he had regarded mat
rimony as stock company the parties
of all the other parts looked upon 1t {
as star engagement with an unlimited
drawing account. Jenkins couldn't
draw well enough to make much of an
Impression. Instead OF finding it diff
,ult to discover woman who was suf-
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

ficiently high grade to bear him com-
pany he was forced to the bitter con-
clusion that there were few women so
lost to O sense OF shame as to tie up
with him. 1t is q hard saying, but one
to which the best of men are likely to
come sooner or later, that there are
more women who have to put their hus-
bands on the microscope slide than
there are men who get round shoul-
dered looking down on their wives.
Jenkins finally gave up in despair and
resigned himself to the tender mercies
OF home for the amelioration Of the
lot OF old men who were not in when
matrimony knocked at their doors.
The upshot OF the whole business ID
that matrfmony resembles measles not
only In being worse the longer it In
postponed, but also In being harder to
get. 1t Is. moreover, a prize man who
recognizes that while affinities have
their uses It's poor woman who isn't
gooo enough for almost any old kind Of
q man.-Copyright, 1904. by Albert
Britt.
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15
IN PRAISE OF HARDSHIP

:; !; :: .: =; !, q:
power to avert them from
those dearest to us? Why do
We covet easy berths and downy cush-
ions and soft and luxurious surround
ingsf AS material comforts and ad-
vantages multiply and the pressing Of
q button saves US time. care and labor,
arc we not In danger Of becoming inert
and fiabbyf
Some time we shall see, II not now,
how the universe II ordered with a
view to the perfection Of character
through hardship. It IL conceivable
that some other method might have
been adopted to make men and women
strong and pure and unselfish and USE
full. but the facts In the case show that
the spur Of adversity or of bereave-
ment or Of failure or Of obstacles is
needed In order to bring, US to our
best estate.
But" says the Young Woman Who
Likes Nice Things. what is all this
material advance for II we are not to
profit by 1t? Haven't we a right to the
good and pleasant things which result
from increasing wealth and advancing
science?" To which the Serious Man
replied In my hearing the other day:
"Well, the nations before US had their
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

gettin' closer and closer akin to old
Satan every day.
For long time Doc he set there
swearin' that he was sure to win, and
finally he says to Smith that he will
give him half the money. And Smith
laughed-yes, sir, laughed, not a loud
haw-haw, 1t is true, but a chuckle. and
the women cried afresh. for they
thought that Smith was goin' into
eternity a-laughin', which TO them was
q mighty bad promise for the future.
Well, we set about till cvenin', and
when the candles were lighted the fire
on the hearth began to sing a low,
sweet song, imitatin' the sound Of
somebody walkin' through snow. and
we heard Smith breathin- In a natural
sort OF way and we looked at him and
he was asleep. Well, to make long
story short. he was better the next
mornin'. and within the time set he was
walkin' about. and Doc not only gave
him half the money, but all he had
won. And Buckner-well, some time
efterward, when Smith was a candi-
date for Jestice of the Peace. Buck he
'lcws, I amt goin' to vote for him. He
done me bad turn once-beat me out
Of Lot OF money Doc told me that
he expected to lose the money, but 1t
was one chance IN a thousand that he
might save Smith by excitIn' his mind.
Yes, SIR" the old man added after
a few moments Of meditation, "a doc
tor must know human nature as well
as medicine, and this knowledge mixed
with medicine Is what makes one doc
tor better than another. I've known
'em to git out Of their beds the coldest
nights that ever blowed and ride ten
miles to doctor q man they knowed
want goin' to pay cent. 1t takes
great strength always to handle weak
ness; II takes a godlike patience to
deal with the fretful and not be warped
ness. and whenever / hear a doctor
a-laughin' I always rejoice with him.
Science in medicine travels slow, 1t is
true, for each human body is an indt-
vidual machine, and every mornin' has
new way to go wrong. And I have
known men to be such liars. that they
wouldn't tell a doctor the truth as to
how they felt, fearin' that they were
givin' him some little advantage. The
average doctor has q good sense of
humor and has stored up some Of the
oldest jokes I ever heard, and this is
in the direct line OF his usefulness, for
a sick man can't understand new Joke
as well as an old one. The old one
may bring up the memory OF a former
laugh and thereby do him good.
'"rhe saddest time for the sick man
is not when the doctor is comm to see
him. but the time when the doctors
bill begins to pay its visits. It ought
lot to be, but a Doctors bill is a mighty
hard thing to pay. It is like payin' for
! January overcoat IN July. When old
Alf Bug was gettin' well-just about
he time the doctor pronounced him out
If danger he said to him: Doctor, you
nave been mighty faithful. and I thank
7ou, but I'm sorry that can't pay you
lothin'. If had died you would have
rot your money, for my life is insured.
,ut as 1t is, can't give you cent
"The doctor looked at him minute
Ind says; Bug, I think you need Just
me more dose Of medicine
Much obleeged to you replied Bug,
but I've got a plenty"
Copyright. 1904. by opie Ready
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15
FABLES FOR
Delays Are Dangerous

sun to dry. sustained and conlforted
by the thought that no one would run
away with them IL we were to offer
book Of green trading stamps as an
extra inducement.
Having thus fortified ourselves we
shall proceed to reveal the afore>
said fruits. There was a low-browed
individual who rejoiced In the euphon-
ious name OF Jenkins. Now Jenkins
was suffering from an exaggerated
case OF ingrown ego. One of the most
serious manifestations Of this disease
was In the prevalence Of the delusion
that no woman was quite good
enough to bear the burden of his
name and keep tabs on his laundry.
In his early youth he had heard va
rtous tales Of men who had married be-
meath them and were compelled thence
forth to put blinkers on their wives
or tie them In q box stall at home
portion OF the outfit to go forth and
mingle with his fellow-men. This
sad state Of affairs made q vivid i'm
preston on the alleged mind Of the
young Jenkins and he vowed that he
would never, never, wed beneath him.
Some or the famous examples Of his
tory were altogether lost on Jenkins.
The case Of King Cophetua he reject
ed as altogether unreliable on account
Of the uncertain character Of the mar
riage statistics Of the time, and also
because Of the fact that King didn't
amount to much anyway. Being q cit
izen OF free and untrammeled democ-
racy, he held to the belief that an or
dinary King would need to descend
to the abnormal depths Of the very
sub-cellar Of humanity In order to
marry beneath him. Neither did he
attach much credence to the sugges-
tion that there was just az much dam
ger OF q woman drawing a blank as
there was OF man getting nim-
fiammed.
Whatever the truth or justice Of his
theory, Jenkins certainly held to IL
with all the tenacity OF yellow dog
to the trousers of a colored investi-
gator Of the poultry problem. No
matrimony for him till he was sure
that he had discovered a running mate
who could keep right along with him
no matter what kind Of e. gait he
should hit. For Jenkins was no cheap
skate who was content to loaf along
life's highway and take the dust of
everything on the road. Just as soon I
as he got fairly into his stride he in
tended to show the pikers how 1t
should be done. To this end he was
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

particularly anxious to secure q wife
who should be able to keep In the run
ming and be right with him at the
finish.
When he was very young and hadn't
secured firm hold on the philosophy
Of life he had what he considered to
be the first symptoms Of loves young
dream. The party of the second part
was girl from his home town with
red cheeks and blue eyes and q light,
dancing step-a regular "Old Home
stead" sort Of Q girl, with none Of the
modern improvements. She could
make her own dresses without any
apologies to any one, and when she
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

concocted a set of buckwheat cakes
she had the ordinary French chef de
cuisine beaten to death. She had many
other virtues Of a domestic nature,
but somehow Jenkins began to won-
der II he hadn't made mistake In
becoming involved with a girl who
was so ignorant that she didn't have
even q speaking acquaintance with the
broad A and who was likely to say
'ain't got" In a moment Of great emo
ton. Jenkins shuddered deep and long
when these terrible thoughts intruded
themselves In his dreams Of bliss and
he pictured to himself this simple rus
tic maiden conversing with the aristo-
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

end when Doc he came in,
spoke cheerfully to every
body, joked with a gal
about her beau and jollied
a widow about an old fell
Ter that was seen hangin'
around on the outskirts of
her good graces. Well, the
wife Of the sick man she
comes In, just able to walk,
she was so grief-stricken,
and puts her arms about
one of the women and be-
gins to cry; and well she
might, for Smith he was
good husband and never found
with thing that was or was n,
the table at meal time. All OF
women folks thought It was al
time to cry and they cried, and
men hemmed and hawed, and Smi
he lay there a-fetchin' of hi
breath the best he could under the
circumstances. Parson Biglow
went up to the bed and asked
Smith how he felt, and Smith
said he wasn't feelin' at his
best, and no one In the room
disputed the assertion. But
Doc he demurred to the
proceedings; he lowed that
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

II wasn't meet and 1t wasn't fittin' to
cross-Question the patient In sich a
manner. Biglow turned about and says.
says he. 7 am q preacher, sir. and I
have o right to talk to him about his
soul
yes says Doc. but not tin after
I get through with his body
"Biglow he was up In matters Of re-
tort. and he says. says he: And when
you do get through with his body his
soul will be gone and Smith he lay
there actin like he couldn't find an
other breath. Then Doc he straight
ened up and we all knowed that
somethin' extraordinary was about to
happen. IF anybody believes strong
enough that Smith here Is goin' to
die, he's got a chance to win some easy
money said he. Twenty dollars amt
picked ND every minute. and I'll bet
twenty dollars in gold and put up the
money right now that Smith amt goin'
to die this season Any takers7
The preacher says. Yes. undertake
ers,' which showed to US that along
with his knowledge OF divine things he
was sorter sarcastic. A discussion
might have followed, but up spoke Slip
Buckner. He was the bettin'ist man
probably that ever lived, and IL q
chance to bet ever got by him 1t was
in the night when he was in bed and
asleep. Well, he spoke up and says
that he will take the bet, and we all
looked at him, but not with any partic-
ular admiration, for he was bettin' on
sure thing. He fished up his money
outen the seams Of his clothes and his
wife she scolded him under her breath,
but he shook his head at her and pro-
ceeded with the business in hand.
Here's my money says he. and just
need twenty more to complete the pur-
chase Of a yoke of steers that I've had
my eye on for some time. He looked
at Doc, and so did we all, for we
couldn't see why he would throw away
his twenty dollars. But he didn't
Vince. He took out his gold piece and
Squire Patterson held the stakes, and
after the excitement OF putin up the
money the wimin returned to their cry
in and things were putty much as
they were before, that is, except with
Smith himself.
Now. Smith he had Travelled up and
down the Mississippi River in his
younger days, a-bettin' Of everything
be had, and II had always held q sort
OF charm for him. He had sorter
sided Off with the church, but he
Couldn't forget the excitement of
A bet, and while he, didn't In
~ dulge durin' his later life, he
M ,elt the thrill Of It and would
bang round for hours a-beg-
n the boys not to bet on
hosses, but stayfn' till the last
race was run. And now he
was interested. It was the
hrst thing that had claimed
his entire mind since the fever
came along and spread its
heat over him He'll be a
a-walkin' about in less than
two weeks says Doc, and Slip
Buckner begins to search
himself. Somewhere about
me I've got twenty more that
says he won't he declared, and
Doc he sorter WINGED at this, but he
was game. and without sayin' word
ut with another gold piece and Buck
le covered It with silver and paper,
women folks lowed that the world was
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15
: NE1GaBoR had been lingering

III NElGHBOR had Deem lingering
between life and death. and
the attending physician had
i Just given his vague and guard
ed opinion. when Old Linn Jucklin
looked up from the box where he was
sitting in front OF the grocery and re-
marked:
Every man that gets money without
stealing 1t earns II, I reckon; but
don't know of anybody that comes
nearer earnin' II twice over than the
country doctor. He has to put forth all
the skill he has, and then must lie to
keep hope alive. And hope Is the best
medicine ever discovered, for 1t not
only aids the sick, but helps the well to
bear their burdens.
II recollect once when old Doc
Haines practiced In this neighborhood,
long before the most Of you were born.
Satchett Smith was taken down with
some sort Of new-fangled fever that
was prowiin' around the neighborhood,
and kept on a-gettin worse. Finally
one day his neighbors came In to be
present at his death, and they were
a-settin' about awaitin' for the dreaded
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

me I've got twenty more that
says he won't he declared and
Doc he sorter WINGED at this but he
game, and without sayin' a word
he out with another gold piece and Buck
he covered It with silver and paper,
and the women folks lowed that the world was
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1905-03-21

A freight wreck occurred AZ Olinda.
north Of Mumford. on the /. & e.. y.
late sunday afternoon. six cars 81
a south bound extra left the track.
The damage was not great. The
road was opened up aud traffic re-
sumed Yesterday afternoon.
Embroidered cotton yoiIes at Wag-
ner x Brandon's. ~
Mrs. Tom Ham Of Lancaster, near
Dallas, died yesterday morning At
MillicAn, az 3 O'Clock. Iuterment
will take place at 10 O'Clock to-day
AZ MillicAn. Deceased was a relative
OF Mrs. McMichael Of Bryan.
Wait for the new goods at Wagner
& Brandons. 20
The A. O. L. W. lodge will hold an
important meeting Thursday night,
AZ which time "A statement viii be
made Of interest 20 all members,
especially the older ones. Do not
fail 10 attend.
Fresh tomatoes and other vege-
tables. Howell Bros. %
T.. Il. Lomax returned yesterday
after an extended visit TO New Or
leans, Louisville, Washington and
Baltimore. lie attended the pres
ident's Inauguration on March I.
DIR. d. +. Houston, Prof John \.
Craig and a number 81 the 4. x NJ.
students left for Fort Worth yester-
day for the fat stock show and cat
tlemen's convention.
For Reut-Four room cottage.
Apply 10 W. +. Ford. "
sam r. Henderson returned sun
day from Houston.
Capt. ;. NJ. Derdeu left for Fort
Worth yesterday.
r. r. Knowles visited Hampstead
Sunday.
W. wipprecht visited Hearne sun
day
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1905-03-21

TIE pAtron feAs; q 81 JoseFh's
Churck wAs solsrnliy observed Su1-
car lAsi- There vere services ~
80. i3.So. $50 Ard 20, vhich were
vel attended. TIE solemn hign mass
~ lt;S1 Vas celebrated hv Rev ; b.
Gltissuer. Fathers A GAyuCu Anc
, LffrvArA acting a. deacon and
. slo-deAccn. Sermons we're preached
Or EnElish Polish. Bohemian and
German Rev. : Srinnewef.sg ~
HsArls spoke iu Euglish ~ tht eve
F niug service. His suhjec; wss The
ChfisiiAr Home Modelled After TIE
Hout q Nazareth.
Mrs Garry A. Nation, WHO STOPPED
81 the Central Hotel While 10 TIE
city left BY the early Sunday morn
I INK train ter her old home, Rich
Ucnd. Texas.
Ms. q. W .McMiehAel has gone
@ M.ilicAn 20 attend the funeral 90
her cousin. Mrs. Ham. 81 Lancaster.
Texas who will be buried 80 MillicAn
tais morning.
state Senator d. A. Paulgs 81
HAllettsville. former member q
the A. and NJ. College board 81 d.
rectors, was = visitor 80 College yes
terdAy
The ladies ofthe Episcopal church
will give a lenten tea on Tuesday
the q from % ESQ =. NJ. 81 the resi-
fencs % Mrs.. J. ". English. -
Just received-the SWEETEST lire Of
Ladies tailor made skirts ever
shown iu Bryan. 81 ana - values
AZ Sass Edge d DlilashAw. ~
Fine early cabbage plants Tor sale
az College Station, s2.5o per thous-
and. 80 cents Per hundred. Tomato
plants later. r. J. Kyle. o.
Capt. Howard Cavitt requests the
Eagle 90 announce regular drill.oi
the Bryan Light Guards tonight 90
; O'Clock sharp.
Miss Anna Allen OF san Antonio,
after pleasant visit 90 Mr.. ana
Mrs. M. r Dansby, left Tor Hemp
stead yesterday.
r. STYLES 10 low cuts. We are
showing IN the famous Queen Quail .
ity shoes new colors az % and 500 .
Wilson & Edge. -
Bev Tucker oilers his services for /
putting la push button electric bells .
Tor residences, stores, or offices.
Phone No. ~. 81
New fresh stock rubber hose Tor
avn aud garden sprinkling just
arrived. all fully guaranteed. For
ale by Myers. ~
See The nobby styles in ready 90
wear hats now on display in our
department. Wagner 4
Brandon. ~
$500 buys the Julian kokonge
ow cut shoes. We guarantee them
q wear and NJ. Ten styles. Wilson
! Edge. ~
For Rent-One VI Mrs Laura
Xoppe's new cottages ON the West
side. Apply at W. +. saunders
tore. Us
Early spring styles In all the new
hapes aud colOrs Ia ready 20 wear
iats az Wagner * Brandou's. 90
Postmaster j. A. Gammill OF Cal
.ert was the guest OF Judge aud Mrs.
!. h. Hudson Sunday.
Miss Ellie Scale returned from
sunday accompanied by
Hiss Lizzie Haltom.