davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The L'Anse sentinel., 1905-08-12

going to marry an Egyptian woman,
would take her to Norway, or up to-
wards the north pole. where II Is night
all day, and you wouldn't realize that
you were married to colored woman.
To be around among these Egyptians Is
good deal like having pass behind
the scenes at the play of Ben Hur In New
York, only here the dark and dangerous
women are the real thing, instead Of
being white girls with black paint on.
We have just got back from the pyra-
mids, and dad is being treated for spinal
| never tried harder to get dad to go
anywhere on the cars than did to get
him to go to the pyramids by rail, as
millionaire should, but he said he was
going to break camel to the saddle,
and then buy him and take him home
for a side show So we went down to
the camel garage, and hired camel for
dad, and four camels for the arabs and
things he wanted for an escort, and a
jackass for me- There we're automobiles
and carriages. and trolleys, and every
thing that we could have hired. and
been comfortable for the ten-mile ride,
but dad was mashed on the camel, and
he got It.
Well, sir, II was not one OF these
worlds fair camels that lay down for
you to get on, and then got up on the
installment plan. and chuck you for
ward and aft. but a proud Egyptian
camel that stands up straight and
makes you climb up on stepladder
Dad got along up the camel's ribs.
when the stepladder fell, and he grabbed
hold of the hair on the two humps, and
the humps were loose and they Topped
over on the side. and Ii must have hurt
the camels feelings to have his humps
pulled down. so he reached around his
head and took mouthful out OF the seat
of dads pants, and dal yelled to the
camel to let CO. and the Arabs amputat-
ed the camel from dads trousers, and
pushed dad up on top with bamboo
pole with crotch in 1t, and when dad
got settled between the humps he said,
Let 'er CO." and we started.
Dad could have had camel with a
platform on top. ard Al awning. hut he
insisted on taking his camel raw, and
he sat there Letveen those humps, his
trousers worked up towards his knees,
showing his red socks and blue drawers,
and his face got { ale from sea sickness,
and the red white and blue colors made
me think of fourth of July at home.
We went out of town like a wild west
show, and dad seemed happy. except
that every time an automobile went
whiZzing along, dads camel got the
jumps and waltzed sideways, out into
the sandy desert, and chewed at dads
socks, so part of the time dad had to
draw up his legs and sit on one, hump
and put his shoes on the other hump
The Arabs on the other camels would
ride up alongside and steer dads camel
back into the road, by sticking sharp
sticks into the camel, and the animal
would yawn and groan and make up
The L'Anse sentinel., 1905-08-12

N All the women wanted to dance with
dad In the hotel dance. and because they
thought must be heir to all the oil
billions. they wanted to hold me on
their laps, and stroke my hair. as though
was 1t. guess we arc going to have
everything our own way here, and II
dad does not get eloped with by some
Egyptian princess. I shall be mistaken.
The Egyptians are pretty near being ne
groes, and wear bangles In their ears.
and earrings on their arms. You take
II In the dark. and let princess put
her arm around you, and sort OF squeeze
you, and you can't tell but what she Is
white, only there is an odor about them
like "Araby the blessed. but in the light
they are only negroes. little bleached.
with red paint on their cheeks. " was
The L'Anse sentinel., 1905-08-12
Red Hair.

When red hair makes its appearance
on a human head all lukewarmness Is
at an end. II is either loved or loathed.
Its admirers. with artists in the van. are
almost Historically enthusiastic. They
call 1t golden. though the gold that
comes out of the earth is not often ex-
actly that shade. A red-haired woman
la sure OF a success In some quarter.
however plain her face or insignificant
her figure. The detractors of red hair
say It is a sign OF bad temper or immor-
ality or both. and therefore to be scru-
pulously avoided. Queen
The L'Anse sentinel., 1905-08-12

(Ex Governor OF Wisconsin, Former Editor
OF Peck's Sun. Author OF "Peek's
Bad Boy" etc)
SCopyright. 1906. by Joseph H. Bowles)
Cairo Egypt.-My Dear Old Irish
Vegetable: Gee. but you ought to see dad
and right now, at a hotel, waiting for
a chance at a room, when bride and
groom get ready to vacate 1t. and go
somewhere else This hotel is full OF
married people who look scared when
ever there Is new arrival, and came
pretty near creating a panic by going
into the parlor of the hotel, where
dozen couples we're sitting around max
sng goo-goo eyes at each other; and get
ting behind screen and, In disguised
voice, Shouting, II know all! Prepare
90 defend |yourself!"
The women turned pale and some said,
"..At last! At last" while others got
faint In the head, and some fell on the
bosoms OF their husbands and said:
Don't shoot!" You see, most of these
wives had husbands somewhere else,
'that might be looking for them. have
warned dad not to be seen conversing
with woman. or he may be shot by
husband who is on her trail, or by the
husband she has with her.
Well, sir, of all the trips we have had
anywhere, the trip from Constantinople
here was the limit. For two or three
days we were on dinky steamboats, with
Arabs, Turks, negroes and all nationali-
ties camping on deck. full of fleas, and
with cholera germs on them big enough
yto pick like blueberries, and all of the
passengers were dirty and eat things
that would make dog in America go
mad. The dog biscuit that are fed to
American dogs would pass as delicate
COnfection on the menu of any steam
boat we struck, and had rather lie
down In barn yard with wet dog for
"A pillow and cast-off blanket from G
smallpox hospital for a bed. than to
occupy the bridal chamber Of any steam
boat we struck.
And then the ride across the desert
by rail to reach Cairo was the worst in
the world. Passengers in rags. going to
Mecca, or some other place of worship,
eating cheese thousand years old made
from old goats milk, and dug from the
Pyramids too late to save 1t, was what
surrounded us, and the sand storm blew
through the cars laden with germs of the
plague, and stuck to us so tight you
:. couldn't get 1t OF with sandpaper. and
The L'Anse sentinel., 1905-08-12

when we got here all we have had to do
is To battle the dirt off in layers.
IL takes nine baths to get down to
American epidermis and the last bath
has a jackplane to go with it, and thing
they scale fish with. But we are all
right now, with rooms in the hotel, and
rested, and when we go home we are
going to be salted down and given
chlOroform and shipped as mummies.
Dad insists that he will never cross
desert or an ocean again, and | don't
know what is to become OF us. Anyway,
we are going to enjoy ourselves until we
are killed Off
The first two days We just looked
about Cairo, and saw the congress of ma
lions, for there Is nothing just like this
town anywhere. There are people from
all quarters of the globe, the most out
6andish and the most up-to-date. This
place is an asylum for fakrs and rob-
bcrs, place where defaulters, bribers,
murderers, swindlcrs and elopers
are safe, as there seems to be
no extradition treaty that cannot
Ne overcome by paying money to the
.oficials. found that out the first day,
and told dad we should have no stand
ing in the society of Egypt unless the
people thought he had committed some
gigantic crime and fed his country.
Dad wanted to know how 1t would
sstrike me IL II was noiscd about the ho-
tel that he had robbed national bank,
.but | told him there would be nothing
uncommon or noticeable about robbing
n bank, as half the tourists were bank
S1cfauiters, 50 he would have to be ac-
cased of something startling. so we de-
,cided that dad should be charged with
being the principal thing ia the Stand
ard Oil company. and that he had under
ground pipe lines running under sew
erai states. gathering oil away from the
people who owned IL, and that at the
present time he was worth billion dol
lars. and his income was S9,00O,OOO
every little while. and, by ginger, you
ought to see the people bow down to him.
Say. common bank robbers and default
,ers Just fell over themselves to get ac-
.auainted with dad. and to carry out the
t,ke, put some kerosene oil on dads
handkerchief. and that clinched 1t. for
everybody loves the smell OF perfume
that represents billion dollars.
The L'Anse sentinel., 1905-08-12

faces at me on my jackass, and finally
dad wanted to change works with m.
and ride my jackass. but told him We
had left the stepladder back at Cairo, SO
dad hung to his mountainous steed, but
the dust blew so you couldn't see, and II
was getting monotonous when the
queerest thing happened.
You have heard that camels can fill up
with water and go for week without
asking for any more. Well. guess the
week was up. and II was time to load the
camels with water, for as we came to
the Nile every last camel made rush
for the river. and they went In like a
yoke Of oxen on stampede, and waded
In clear up to the humps, and began to
drink, and dad yelled for life preserver
The L'Anse sentinel., 1905-08-12
THE PUNcTUAL LADY.
She Found That Being Ahead Of Time
Was Not Punctuality, But
Foolishness.

Aunt Clara" an excellent woman,
and highly esteemed, is noted among a
large circle of friends and acquaint-
ances for rather unusual feminine
trait-abhorrencc of tardiness. Her
associates in church and club, prone to
arrive upon the scene fiurried and
breathless at the last moment-if not
little later-look up to her with awe;
strangers frequently meet her with the
kindling glance which signifies that her
fame has preceded her; only In her
own family does she suffer the usual
fate of the prophet
Possibly not without some show OF
reason. There are souls SO consti-
tuted that they are unable to find joy
In arriving at railroad stations an hour
before time, reaching church before
the doors are open, and always being
the first arrivals at afternoon teas.
Aunt Clara's motto is not to-mor-
row, one of her nieces once remarked.
1T is the day before yesterday"
Not long ago Aunt Clara had an ex-
perience. She was invited to spend
the day with some charming women
in a neighboring town. She had met
them once only, but the meeting had
proved the three thoroughly congenial,
with large common interests, and Aunt
Clara accepted the invitation with
pleasure.
She would arrive. she wrote, upon the
half-past eleven train, as they sug-
gested. There seemed no possibility
OF complication, nor would there have
been with anyone else. But Aunt
Clara reached the station, according to
her custom, an hour early, and when,
soon afterward. Maplewood train was
called, she stepped on board, and in
due season-after a shorter ride. In
fact, than she had expected-reached
her station.
There was no one to meet her, which
seemed little strange, but Aunt Clara
was always equal to any emergency;
she hired cab and drove out to her
friends. There again no one seemed
to be expecting her, although one OF
the ladies appeared in q moment and
gave her cordial welcome. Her sis
ter, she said, had gone to meet the
train, and must have passed her on tha
way. She would be SO sorry to miss her,
and SO concerned that she. should have
come up alone.
Then the guest caught sight of the
clock; 1t was five minutes after ten.
She had taken the early morning train,
and an express, and arrived nearly two
hours before she was expected. More
over, 1t could not be concealed, for all
the hostess lovely courtesy, that kitch-
en- duties were calling.
With of the sudden flashes of IL
Elimination that occurs to us all at
times, Aunt Clara understood that the
sisters did their own work, and one was
to prepare luncheon, to which several
had been invited. while the other en-
tertained the guest.
What did you say, Aunt Clara? ?" her
niece asked, breathlessly, when this part
| OF the recital was reached.
Il said," she replied, with the direct
ness which endears her to her friends.
that have niece at home who would
tell me 1t served me right. That being
two hours ahead Of time wasn't pune
tuality; 1t was foolishness and often
inconsiderateness. Then" she added.
IL went out into the kitchen and helped
Miss Barnes make salad. We had .
splendid time."-Youth's Companion.
The L'Anse sentinel., 1905-08-12
A LESSON IN
MANUAL TRAINING
PRACTICAL POINTS FOR BOYS
WITH AMBITION AND
GENIUS.

Shellac varnish-How Applied-Good
Finish for Pine or White Maple
Finishing with Pumice Stone and
oil-Patching VVnish = How to
Apply Copal Varnish-List of Di-
rections for Finishing-Process of
Wax Finishing-Planing Ends.
The L'Anse sentinel., 1905-08-12

A Chicago boy, who was very fond Of
certain rice pudding, wus allowed to
dine with company At his home not long
since. 1t SO happened that day that
rice pudding was the chief article for
dessert, and the boy was happy De-
string to have more sauce for his pud-
dong, he set the table in : roar BY this
request:
Mamma. please put more pefoomr
cry on my puddin'. Judge.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25
NOTICE OF

Notice is hereby given, that Letters
of Administration, with will annex
ed, upon the estate of Margaret l..
Crossman, late of Iron county, de-
ceased, have been granted to the un-
dersigned, Walter H. Crossman, by
the Judge of the Probate Court of
the county of Iron, bearing date the
10Th day of April, 1905.
All persons having claims against
said estate are required to exhibit
them to me for allowance within one
year after the date of said letters
or they may be precluded from
any benefits of such estate; and if such
claims be not exhibited within two
years from the time of the publication
of this notice, they will be forever
barred.
Ironton, Mo-, May Is, 1905.
WALTER III. CROSSMAN,
Administrator, With Will Annexed.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25
7 OF

Notice is hereby given, that letters tesla
mentary upon the estate Of Catherine Clay
baugh, late of Iron county, deceased, have
been granted to the undersigned, F. P.
AXE, by the Judge Of the Probate Court Of
the county of Iron, bearing date the 22d day
Of March, 1905. All persons having claims
against said estate are required to exhibit
them to me for allowance, within one yeal
after the date Of said letters, or they may bt
precluded from any benefits Of such estate
and if such claims be not exhibited withir
two years from the time Of the publication
Of this notice, they will be forever barred
%Ironton, Mo-, April 20, 1905.
F. P, AXE, Executor,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25
H. NY. COLLINS
AND FEED STABLE<
IRONTON MO

|M1oTIcE roPIchlcERs N ExcURsIoNIsTs
OtHacks, Spring Wagons, Single and
Double Buggies; Three-Seated Car
riages and T~wo-Seated Carriages, with com
petent drivers; also, the best of Saddle
Horses for Ladies and Gentlemen canbe had
REASONABLE RATES.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25
NOTICE OF

Notice is hereby given, that Letters Of
Executorship upon the estate of Joseph
Kerchner, late Of Iron County, deceased,
have been granted to the undersigned,
Emma Kerchner, by the Judge of the Pro-
bate Court Of the County Of Iron, bearing
date the 2eth day Of April, 1905. All per-
sons having claims against said estate are re-
quired to exhibit them to me for allowance
within one year after the date Of said Let
tiers, or they may be precluded from any
benefit Of such estate; and If such claims be
not exhibited within two years from the date
Of this publication, they shall be forever
barred.
April, 80, 1905
EMMA KERCHNER, Executrix.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25
A Guaranteed Cure for Piles.

Itching, bleeding, blind or pro-
trudging piles. Druggists refund
money if Pazo Ointment fails to
cure any case, no matter of how
long standing, in 6 to IA days.
First application gives ease and
rest. SOC. If your druggist hasn't
1t, send SOC in stamps and it will
be forwared postpaid by Paris
Medicine Co., ST. Louis, Mo.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25

Remember we have a very large
stock of stoneware, queensware,
glassware, fruit jars in glass and
stone, jelly glasses in plain and
fancy. H. Farmhouse, south OF
court house, lronton, Mo. Phone
No. Al.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25

Now on hand a complete stock
of Swift & Co.'s Spring Fertilizers
at prices as reasonable as those
asked by others for inferior grade.
Ironton Flour Mills, I%ronton, Mo.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25

Who found money last week9
Was it you? 1t was if you bought
goods at B. N. Browns, successor
to Mullin & Brown. Saving mon
ey is much the same as finding it.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25

For SALE OR TRADE-A lot of
Surveys, buggies, jump seats and
harness. Will sell for good note
or trade for any kind of stock.
Call at once. H. M. COLLINS.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25

Try Creamo for horses and
mules. The feed that benefits when
others fail. Sold at Ironton Flour
Mill.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-05-25
You Can Prevent sick.Headache

when you feel 1t FIRST coming on, by taking a
Ramona Pill at once. 1t removes the poison that
causes the trouble. A guaranteed cure, and
money refunded If not satisfied. Is cents.
Arcadia Valley Drug Co.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1905-09-07
BRIEF BITS OF NEWS.

Adam Bryant Of Marion, Ia, one Of
the best known horsemen in that
state, is dead. .,s g5s ;
Brigadier General Thomas T. Crit.
tenden, colonel Of the Sixth Indiana
during the war, is dead at East
Gloucester. Mass. n
A sensation has been caused at
Moscow by the suicide of Madame
Whites nephew, M. Khotinsky, who
shot girl through the heart and then
turned the revolver on himself.
Francis B. Stevens, member Of
the well known Stevens family of Ho.
boken, N. Y, and grandson OF the late
Commodore Stevens, committed sui.
eide by shooting at his home at West.
bury, L. /. 3:s /. 4
Judge Reuben G. Lennon, one OF
the most prominent members Of the
bench and bar Of Northern Ohio, is
dead at Toledo, aged eighty years. He
was one Of the best known Masons IN
the country. s,s ..
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1905-09-07
SOUTH DAKOTA in
DANGER OF QUARANTINE

ITO dip or not to dip" is the ques
ton which South Dakota cattlemen
are debating. DR.. r. A. Ramsay OF
the bureau of animal industry with
headquarters in Fargo says that the
cattle must be dipped but the cattle.
men, encouraged by q recent decision
Of the state court in knocking out a
state law which provided for dipping,
are planning to resist the order of the
federal official. q. i.
There are eighteen counties in the
guaranteed district in South Dakota
but in thirteen counties cattlemen have
not opposed. the federal authorities.
The cattlemen in the other counties
claim that the regulation, which pro-
vides that all cattle shall be dipped
whether they are afflicted with scab.
bies or not, Is unjust. "The records
for the past ten months" said DR..
Ramsey this morning, "show that in
spectors have found scabbies in thirty
eight different herds presented for
shipment by the cattlemen who are
now shouting against the dipping
regulations"
The state law requiring the dipping
Of cattle and in conformity with the
federal regulations was passed at the
last session of the legislature. No
sooner did the law become effective
than an action was commenced to de-
termine the legality of the measure.
Judge Whiting of the district court de-
cided in favor of the cattlemen and to
the effect that only infected cattle
should be dipped.
What good the decision will do the
cattlemen in view Of the action re-
Gently taken by DR.. Ramsey is prob
lematical. The railway companies
have been instructed not to receive
Shipments of cattle unless accom-
panied by certificae of inspection
from federal inspectors, which cannot
be obtained unless the cattle have
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1905-09-07
been properly dipped.

been properly dipped.
I On account OF the action Of the cat
tlemen, DR.. Ramsey is seriously con
sidering placing the entire state Of
South Dakota under quarantine.
In the western part OF North Dakota
and in Montana the dipping OF cattle
in oil has been found most successful
and has been recognized by the federal
officials, With oil only one dipping is
required while. with sulphur and lime
1t has always been found necessary to
dip twice at an interval Of ten days.
Forum. ~
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1905-09-07
{. iowa Postoffice Robbed i. J.

Gainesville, Ia. Sept. Z. The post
Office at this place, located in the gem
eral store Of J. M. Suter & CO., was
burglarized during the night One
hundred and fifty dollars In money
and about dollars worth Of stamps
was taken. The money was. in the
safe and it was unlocked. The bur-
glars smashed the tills inside of the
safe and got away with the booty
without being discovered. 81 i. us
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1905-09-07
NOVEL INJUNCTION DISSOLVED
coroner's Jury to Continue Inquest on
Murdered Woman.

b z, r . Il
Appleton, Wis, Sept. 7.-Judge
Goodland of the circuit court has dis
solved the Injunction issued by Judge
Griffin, at Crandon, on the affidavit OF
J. A. Walsh, to restrain the coroners
jury from continuing the inquest on
the body of Mrs. Walsh, who was shot
and fatally wounded on the night of
Aug. 20. Nr. Walsh is district attor-
ney and is wife was prominent in
the social life of Crandon. Mr.. Walsh,
in his affidavit, claimed to have knowl.
edge that verdict would be returned
which would work great harm and
damage to him and that the coroner's
jury as a body and the jurymen in.
dividually had discussed the testimony
in manner prejudicial to him. He
asked that the inquest be adjourned
until Sept, Is. ~.
Battle of the Herrings.
The battle Of the behring's was the
comical name given to fight between
nm English force and a French de-
tachmept not far from Orleans in
1929. The English were conveying q
large quantity of supplies, mainly
behring's, for it was Lent, to the army
that was besieging Orleans. The Eng
fish had 1000 men, the French 5000.
The former repulsed the assailants and
saved the behring's, so the battle was
named in honor Of the supplies.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1905-09-07
PALMER IS DISMISSED.
President Demands Resignation o
Public Printer. 49, sse

Washington. Sept. I. President
Roosevelt has demanded the resigna-
ton Of Public Printer F. w. Palmer,
to take effect Sept. Is. III
The demand Of the president for
Mr.: Palmer's resignation was due pri-
marily to the latter's action in trying
to force Oscar J. Ricketts,, foreman Of
printing, and L. g. Hay. a foreman Of
division. out Of the government print.
ing office. MI. 8sy
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1905-09-07
BOLT 3 HITa BIG CROWD. ;
One Person Dead and Score serl.
ously Injured. o I.

49, ~ sstsSstl 3s!s ssSSA au0 = SSosV OOsN
ously Injured.
Richfeld, Utah. Sept. ATLAS Bean
was killed, Dwight Bean perhaps IA
tally injured and q score OF others
most seriously hurt BY bolt OF light
ming which struck in the center OF a
crowd Of 1920 persons who were
watching the horse races at the Rich
field fair. Es 2s
More than 200 persons were thrown
to the ground and most OF them were
insensible for several seconds. Horses
tied to hitching posts nearby broke
loose and stampeded In all directions.
Several of the persons injured were
Knocked down by runaway horses, but
their injuries are not serious. 3
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1905-09-07
His Autholratly.,5

Governess Cooking over geography
paper What's this 1.-THE people Of:
Lancashire are very stupidl'' Where
in the world did you get that idea,
from? Pupil Out Of the book. It says
that Lancashire Is remarkable for itsi
dense population Punch.