New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-03-24
BALLADE OF SPRING.

The gullS have left st. JameS'S Park
TO mate by fashionable seas;
With joyful d q0a sa the the 69fk Of
Now, may we swim wher T,se we U1so please.
Nor shall these pauper aliens clear
Winter has flown and Spring is here"
Now hats that served when days were dark
AS ' quaint ants sarvivaiS of the Ark.
Pneumonia bIouses court the breeze,
And doctors. seeing Fortune near
Already count their sSeIing Tees
Now swes the tide of traffic. Hark!
The roar grows loud by swift swift des isEs
And dowagers use big, big Dis.
Now nayyes at their their idle Idle ease as bs.r
Among the motors and the gees
Winter has flown and Spring is mere
Envni.
When trenches deeper than your knees.
Then know. though budiess still the trees
Winter has flown and Spring Is here
The two sides of persons face are never alike
according to THE indianapolis News" The eyes
are out OF line in two cases out of five. and one
eve is stronger than the other in seven persons
out of ten. The right ear is also, rule, higher
than the left. Only one person in fifteen has per-
feet eyes, the largest percentage of defects pre-
vailing among fair haired people. The smallest
interval of sound be distinguished better with
one ear than with both The nails of two fingers
never grow with the same rapidity, that Of the
middle finger growing the fastest. while that of
the thumb grows slowest In hfty-four cases out
of one hundred the left leg is shorter than the
right
Urenthusiastic Auditor-Yes, 1 know sort o.
handed We frost. but they was just one reason
why didn't give We any encores.
Discouraged Entertainer (eagerly)-And what was
I'VE was afraid ye'd respond."-CBaltimore
American
a Manchester paper tells this story. which is ap-
propriate to the season, and shows how Irfshmen
are gifted with discretion:
One morning Mrs. Murphy, a customer, came into
the tailor shop and found the tailor busy with
pencil and paper She asked him what he
doing.
"orm maxim lisht av the min in this block
who OF Kin lick" said he.
"Hev We got Murphy's name down." asked she.
Murphy heads lsht.'
Home few Mrs. Murphy and broke the news to
her man. He in the tailor shop in a jiffy
Me woman tells that yere afther making
a memorial tablet the min that yez kin lick
and that we've got at the head OF 1t. Is that
true?'
'shure an it's true What of n2" said the
tailor.
I'VE good for nothin' little grasshopper. I could
commit suicide yez with little finger. 1
could wipe up the fure wild yez wild me hands tied
behind me-"
Are We sure of that" asked the tailor.
"Shure? I'm shure about it."
well, then" said the tailor. III ye're shure
of ii I'll scratch we of the lisht."
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS 0o curate) Were you
preaching at your church last night?
IaymanEOh / didn't know whether Won would
be preaching nOt-so I wouldn't risk going
punch.
A curious vershed will. properly attested and
signed and held to perfectly legal was filed for
probate the other day at Harrisburg. Penn. It
reads follows
When my wifes widow OF m bereft
She Ehal inherit what have left:
And when she's finished her
II then shall daughter
The oakley Graphic" of Kansas. relates the
following: "a man appeared the street the
other day with big three-cornered scar on the
side OF his face. which looked suspiciousIy like the
print Of the heel Of a lady's shoe. and when a
friend who had not him for a long time met
him and with surprise asked him. why Jim how
did you get that awful SCARF he replied. That Is
birthmaTk and his friend exclaimed: Impossible:
you did not have II when a boy No he replied
but it is birthmark just the same. You see
when I coming home from the West 1 was
riding a sleeping car and tried to get In the
wrong berth
Small Boy Dust home from schooD-Mamma Miss
Simpson says I'm descended from a monkey.
HIS Mother (glaucing a q m nd