The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-08-11
X.Ray E0tdenee
q. A. Mitehen.)

j Onm hanQOlpus 6z1Q the pLOsE-
cutting attorney, lyon are accused Of
robbing the hen roost Of Uncle Ben
Franklin. You have not only robbed
it once, but a dozen times Were it
not for the repetition Of the Offense
your distinguished fellow citizen
would look leniently upon the theft
and leave you to your conscience
But you have taken a dozen fat
chickens, which he has reared, nur-
tured with tender affection and
brought to an age when he could
have sold them for brOilers to a good
profit What have you to say in your
defense ?"
Il had to say, mars lawyer. dat
hain't tasted chicken meat 70 two
years. YO' see, mas, Is too honest to
steal EN-, rs too proud to beg EN-,
and de price has been gOin' up so
fas' OBJ late dat can't afford to buy
EN- Now, I jist tell yO', mars law
yer, de trouble VIII de kentry is de
trust It's de chicken trus' dat TAX
/ all de flavor out Oh de chicken IN de
coli storage and III up de gap VIII lie
/ price. It's de truS-
John Randolph" interrupted the
| attorney, could the distinguished
man for whom you are named stand
/ between US and expiate on this ma
l tionaI evil we would all listen with
] eyes and ears open, but for our pres
ent purpose a dissertation on chick
/ en- stealing would be far more accep-
/ admit Nevertheless I must find
/ topics is in order. The question we
are here to determine is your gilt or
innocence Of the charge Of stealing
/ Ben Franklin's hens
"YO' mistaken, sab. Dere amt no
/ question OBJ my innocence de only
/ question is oh my guilt"
John" looking at the negro ad-
miringly, 4 doubt if Randolph Of
Roanoke ever spoke a truer sentence
| Since the accused is guiltless before
] the law till proved guilty there is no
question as to your innocence Tt is
| your gilt we are to determine"
| Dat depends, sab, wedder you tax
/ circumstantiary evidence YO' can
prove anything by dat evidence.
| Reckon if I was snOrin' in bed 20
might prove I war Robin hen roOsts
by dat Circumstantiary evidence,
! sab. amt WORT de-
THE difficulty OF eliminating your
I fine alaIytical powers" again inter
rupted the attorney, lis great, John, I
admit Nevertheless I must find
means to do so. If you again swerve
from the question I shall have to ask
his honor to commit you for contempt
! Of court"
Contempt Of cOu't, sab! hab
/ contempt Of cou't! I hab de highest
respec' 70 cou't. VIVA innocent men
accused OBJ setalin' chickens gwine to
do widOut de cOU't, I like to known
/ That is very cute Of you, John.
| You have the faculty Of persuasive
| elOqUence to high degree. There is
something so honest sounding in your
| protest that I'm almost persuaded to
/ consider you innocent. Ny duty to
the state, however, requires me to
/ prove you guilty-that is, if I can
John, did you ever hear Of the X
ray?r
NO, sab; I didn't neber hyar OBJ
de ray"
The X-ray is light by which we
| can look into q mans body and see
/ what's there. Now, I'm going to de-
| termine your gilt or innocence Of
| stealing a chicken last night Your
1 neighbOr has testified to seeing you
| chop the head Of a chicken this
/ morning just before breakfast It is
| to be presumed that you ate this
| chicken. But we don't know that J
| propose to bring the x-ray to bear on
your stomach and determine if the
| chicken is there
/
L long as words could be used to throw
dust into the courts eyes he had
| maintained an air Of injured innO-
| cence. Now that science was to point
1 out his guilt he quailed. But only
/ for a moment. A sudden thought
| seemed to strike him, and he braced
| himself for a continuance Of his case.
Bring in the x-ray apparatus -
| the attorney called to his assistant
/ An electric machine such as is used
/ by invalids was brought in and, to
/ make it appear more impressive, was
/ placed on four bottles The attorney
/ placed a handle, attached by a wire
/ to the machine in each of John Ran
| dOIph's hands.
Now, prisoner" said the prosecu-
/ tor sternly, when I pull out this CYL
inder you'll feel a slight shock At
| the same time I can look into your
stomach. The demonstration viii be
unnecessary if you viii confess"
Go on VIII de demOnstratiOnaTy, %
said the darby confidently.
The attorney pulled out the cylin-
der The darzy braced himself against
the shock, but rolled his eyes around
as If under a great mental strain
Meanwhile the attorney folded a piece
/ Of paper into a tube, placed one end
| against John RandOIph's stomach AMI
his own eye against the other He pre-
/ tended to look carefully for a few
minutes, during which the negro was
in an agony Of suspense Then the
gazer dropped his telescope.
Your honor" he said, 4 saw plain
" the remains Of chicken in the Dris-
oner's stomach"
70 honor" said the prisoner, lax
him ef he kin tell wedder he saw
Ben Franklin's chicken or some I'D
der pusson's chicken"
Whether the attorney would have
had the effrOntery to declare that he
had seen the chicken in question or
not could not be determined, for the
pent up mirth Of the court suddenly
burst its barriers. and there was an
explosion Of laughter As soon as the
judge could find voice he cried:
The prisoner is discharged
ADVICE
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