The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-07-23

Copyright, 1905. by Joseph b. Bowles.)
Locking back upon a heated discus
sion or stubborn argument, in cooler
moments. people are often astopished
that they wasted SO much time and
strength in trying to have the last
word. A man convinced against his
will, is OF the same opinion still, and
in nine cases out of ten domestic dis
sensions result in discomfort all around
simply because both parties are deter
mined to have their own way. The
last word is not always a pleasant wore
nor a wise one. 1t takes no little self
control TO leave the advantage with the
opposite side, yet many time we are
grateful if they have the good sense TO
fOreSo continued speech and take re-
fuge in silence. This is sure to be true
If we argue on politics They are too
dangerous to be admitted into family
talk.
Home happiness is a chain that is
strong or weak, according as il is
measured by the strain each separate
link win bear. II there is a weak place
anywhere, then one may say good by
to peace, and happiness is more de-
pendent on peace than on anything
else. 1t canhot flourish in an atmos-
phere of strife and contention. This is
why | would exclude politics, unless all
feel alike about men and issues.
We need not limit the last word" to
disputes and squabbles. In household
management there arise frequent occa-
sions for settling questions OF impor-
lance, in which no two Of the family
take precisely the same view, and yet
in which there may be complete anna
bility and a Difference TO the wishes
of others that remove the discussions
from anything like wrangling. For eN-
ample. when the question of choosing
a profession for the boy or a school for
the pIrl of selling a faXnrifa horse
or introducing another dog into a
house where everybody does not equally
like dogs. There may be honest distaste
and aversion or honest desire and af-
lection, or there may be a forethought
which looks far ahead, or superficial
view which sees only tomorrow In
any case, about the school the horse,
OF the dog, the last word is the decisive
one, and 1t is uttered presumably by
the one who sees furthest and is most
unseifish and considerate.
Otherwise, the last word is that of q
tyrant, and tyranny is fatal TO nome
enjoyment Tyranny strikes a blow at
the life of the household, and makes
, quiet living impossible in that environ
ment. Just as in "Dombey and Son, ="
the despotism of the elder DOmbey was
a whitening and scorching blast within
the doors of his miscalled home. so
despotism anywhere works mischief
that cannot be repaired.
I knew a man whose foibIe il was
that he must have the final word about
everything. Beyond his own gates he
was a fairly good citizen, man of
strict integrity, and a reputable mer-
chant. Once he had turned his latch
key in the door, his whole nature. and
certainly his manners underwent an
extraordinary transformation. He
wanted to adjust everything in sight,
he pTowled about the kitchen. peering
into the pots and pans, and driving the
cook to distraction. He crept furtively
around the drawing room, touching a
finger here and finger there, to see, IL
possibly little dust might have settled
on the furniture, and scanning the
corners of the ceiling above and the
floor below with inquisitive eyes, i'm the
apparent hope that a cObWeb in one
place or a crumb on the other might
give him an opportunity for criticism
Whatever was proposed he at once
vetoed, making himself a wet blanket
on the pleasure of the young people and
dampening any enthusiasm which
might be in their brea sts. As for his
poor wife, she had long ago said good
| by to enthusiasm and spontaneity-
The length of his daughters 1rOChS,
the color of their hair ribbons, the
style of their shoes, and every trifie in
their conduct alike came under his in
CeSsant fault-hnding- Now and then,
! he took UP a fad with extraordinary in
/
be to the family if they ventured to dis
agree with him Once / remember he
J took il into his head to regard common
table salt as a most virulent poison.
| No salt was permitted in seasoning, no
salt was allowed on the table, no salt
was admitted within the pantry door.
An unfortunate guest, looking Vainly
around the table, inquired for salt
Madam" he said, II would as soon
give you arsenic" A son of the house
ventured TO ask for it, and was sum-
marily sent TO bed.
had a fancy that all nutrition and every
possible Requirements for physical
growth were folded up in the little COM
pass OF a lima bean. Therefore, for
some time the family breakfasted.
dined and supped almost exclusively
on lima beans as an article OF diet
why, in the world said a kins-
woman, do you all give up to Harold
| in so absurd a fashion, Life. is not
worth living at the price you have TO
pay for it"
THE truth of the matter is" said
so set upon having the last word that
we do anything for the sake of peace
and quietnesS.
Here was an extraordinary instance
of the folly and futility of paying too
dearly for peace. A little war would
have been preferable.
We are not always so careful as we
might be about the last word we say
! 10 one another when we separate for
| the day. The child starting for school
| should have a tender word of encour-
agement, the lad going out for an even
| ing is the better il mother or sister &c
his tie. and say something nice about
| the suit he is wearing, ana She mar