The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-04
HUMOR OF THE Day

I.awyer-I have my opinion of you.
Client-We1l, you can keep it; the last
opinion got from you cost me $500.-Pick-
Me-Up.
Burglar-Let's go to de shore an rob de
His Pal-Aw, what's de use? Let's wait
till September and rob the proprietor
Puck.
Freddie-whats the difference between
being sick and an invalid?
who makes those around him sick.-Har-
per's Bazaar.
visitor-You don't know who 1 am, do
you, Jimmie?
Visitor-Ahai I know who you are,
Jimmy-Aw, that amt nothin'-T know
that mysehi-Cleveiand Leader
Laady-why don't you work at your
Dusty Tracks-I can't git no job, .maam.
1 wanter run self-wheeling wheeIbarrow.
but there amt none invented as yet.-Chi-
cago News.
Mrs. Housekeep-You don't mean to tell
me that you were ever poet?
Weary Willie-Yes kind lady, when
was younger That was how my feet first
went astray.-Ph Philadelphia Press.
Don't you think that it would be
great thing to be praised by posterity?''
| though a man is doing very well nova
/ days if he avoids being condemned by
contemporaneous grand y."-Washfng-
ton Star.
keep that kid quiet2 WHAT'S the matter
Pm sure don't know replied the pa
bies to the little darling. Philadelphia
Press.
I Patrick-PhRV We 20 70 r,t1
sure?
| Bridget-oi had other things to do.
/ Patrick-If yez had gone and heard thot
| sermon on ''Absenteeism' We would have
been ashamed of yself fur not bein' there
New York Weekly.
Il am not in the habit of Boosting of
my eonquests." said Gayboy, but you
striking looking woman with the wonder
full eyes and the hair like a ravens wing
at the swell reception last week BY Jove
she couldn't keep her eyes off mei''
.., II noticed it," said the other man.
That was Miss Linksigh, the female de-
tective. She was there to watch the Jew
elry. Chicago Tribune.
Mrs. Kelly-was yure first husband a
good provider, Mrs. Riley?
Mrs. RiIey-There was none better, Mrs
we'd bin married a week he got kilt on tn
railroad, an Oh got foive thousand dollars
| damages.7JueGe.
Mrs; Blinks-That horrid Mrs. winks
says I'm a fool.
Mr.. Blinks-I am sure she would not
make such an ill-natured remark.
Mrs Blinks-Well, she didn't say that in
SO many words. but that is what she
meant. She says believe everything ven
tell me.-New York Weekly.
DO you think that the municipal own
ership idea can be successfully worked?''
| ! think So" answered Mr.. Dustin Stax
complacently. I'VE will not hesitate to
sell our franchise to the government at a
good figure, nor to buy them back cheap
when the idea goes out of fashion,
Washington Star
Bacon-Men don't become doctors all at
once, do they?
Egbert-No:by degrees.-Yonkers States
man.
Aunt Beth-They say his money is faint
Edith-Nonsenae, aunt, 1 heard him say
he had just cleaned up another Million
| Puck-
Wigg-HoW does a doctor know when IL
is necessary to operate?
| Wagg-ItS always necessary to operate
if he needs the money.-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
II don't suppose you know what it is to
be exposed to Temptation every moment of
your working day, as 1 ann"
I'm not so sure about that. WHAT'S
your occupation
| I'm a bank cashier
Shake! I'm berry picker. Chicago
Tribune.
Prisoner-Yem; I'm in prison for rob-
berry at a summer hotel.
| Visitor-Were you proprietor or head
waiter?-Judge.