The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1905-08-27

"An', did We hev amy shtock in tn
Gr-reat Western Evangelist Company,
Dooley," said Mr.. Hennessy.
.'Indade. an OF did, bedad, an OF
wisht OF may niver see tn back iv me
neck again if OF wasn't buncoed tn
wurrst liver.
'Oi am surprised at ye.' said Mr..
Hennessy. ITO think an ould grafther
iv tn loikes iv We wud git buncoed."
"Shure. an OF am surprised at me-
slf, but it look so fair, Hennessy thot
betther min thin me was picked up in
tn downfall. Ye see. Hennessy. whin
tn roight honorable an tn very riv
erint William p. Foife came into tn
country afther a absince iv some
tonne, an whit up an doom tn land
loike he ust to, sayin' an chryin' in
loud voice Prepare we an git into tn
Gr-reat Western, FIR tn tonne is at
hand whin dollars will grow Ioike APP
pies on tn threes,' Oh jist as MATCHBOX
ly got on his thrail with me hard
earnt cash as Oh ust to seek tn
mourners' bench with me hard earnt
sins. No wan Use cud hev' made me
put up tn money. Oh loved Mlsthe
Foife with a love thot was more thin
love, an Oh he'd brack bat scnrape
with me Dist frien' Fl insinooatin thot
Foife wasn't on tn square. Scores iv
gr-reat was their faith in William j..
1T was loike tn rats followin' tn pied
piper i've Hamlin iowa, begorra, an
now we ar-re all in. tn wather, up to
tn ears, an me pillar iv cloud an foire
thot was leadin me to tn promised
land iV dollars and doimeS is amy
where but near tn center iv activity.
Shtill, OF hewitt lost me faith yit. Vi
-balave thot Barbarossa will return TO
his own an deliver thin from tn gone
feelin' thot mas crope into their simple
hearts. But wan thing, Hennessy, wan
thing we can put doom in yur2 polpe
an smoke it, is something loike this
Niver, no niver, will OF trot doom tn
poke afther long black coat thol
waves piety an minin' shtock for
chooneS from it's ample tails.
But Oh am ust to tn loikes iv this
incidint. which is ABBOTT to be closed.
TIL histhry iv me pilgrimage in this
wildherniss iv woe where ARE many
pitfalls an blind bitches an shnares
am VOLTS in black clothin. OF say me
histhry is punctchooated be such eX-
periences. Oh, very we'll ramimbel
whin OF got tn other soler piexus
blow " me loife. 1t took tn vino
out iv me sails an killed all tn faith
OF he'd in livery thing but evangilists
an now thot is gone doom tn shaft ~
tn Gr-reat Western. Oh hev' found
out Hennessy, thot it won't do to tie
yure opinion doom to nawthin. Jlst
as soon as We ar-re ABBOTT to settle on
something FIR fair, some bloke droives
up in his jinricksha with more milk in
his coconut thin We hev', an ye gil
knocked SO far from yure moorin's,
thot We niver know where We ARE at.
Humin knowledge is loike eel, tn
moro We sit a nOlt i, II ~ i--- y a.
on hands. Wan day tn gr-reat chrisis
busted in on me. Oh he'd always been
a credulous sapleen, bad cess
to tn folks who told me to balaVe
plat me elders told me, an wan iv tn
cariinul points iv me compass was
thot tn moon was Crane cheese, whin
doom tn poke here came wan iv yure
omniscient college profisSureS an he
says "Gwan with we, an how cud
tn same be Crane whin tn su is sf11n1n
on it tn whole entoire toime,' an
with thot, he tolt his chatter to honk
tn honk an away he wint with
shtoop to conker air thot wud hev'
made Napoleon swap off Eyerup FIR
peanut Vaughn an come to N'York.
Thot was tn peg OF he'd hung me faith
on He pulled it out an Oh was lift
with only shmall balafe thot large
handsome mon in a large handsome
black coat with hivin in his wurruls
an paradise in his looks an honor in
his big hearted, bluff but honest face
wud niver fool me. but whin he saio
! he Wud give me a dollar FIR doime
OF was shure, bejabbers, thot he Wud
give me two.
ME faith is gone Hennessy. Al!
min ar-re liars an in me haste Oh
f'rgot tn womin. TIL lady who leads
tn missionary society wud trow doom
tn Boible an quit readin' tn great
commission to peroose tn Delineator.
Rosenfelt wud praych a fiery sermont
on Sunday in tn Sivinteenth High
Muck "a Muck synagogue, again tn
graft in offs thot is maxim his admin
istration shmeIl to tn milky way, an
on Monday he wud make an ambassa-
dor ont iv a grafther who he'd sWore
thot 'Winnin' of tn West was tn
fonist lichoorary production since
Milton whit afther things yit unat-
tempted in prose or rhyme. Enough
money will change tn odeas iv amy
bald headed mon in christendom an