The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-29

Davies. WIFI no TOOL 10 HIS IuOuIH--l IL .
worse than the noise baby makes with a
piece of paper and comb"
Baby is exceedingly clever with Q
| piece of paper and comb, and it i'll be-
comes you, Mr.. Virtue, to run down our
own child. l repeat, the gramophone
is most marvellous and pleasing repro
duction of the human voice.
Il don't suppose you would have
known who was singing if the record
had not been labeled 'Caruso."
Il should have known his voice at
| once-it was perfect" -. "
1T wouldn't be bad idea to use one
in the law courts
Il would certainly take my oath on its
evidence"
''Ha, hal" said Joseph.
We'll, what do you say?"
Il say it is rather expensive"
We'll, l can't buy anything for 80
shillings. That is always the way-you
pin me down to so much and then expect
me to make a good show"
Il never pinned you down to 80 shil-
lings."
How much, then? TSenty?"
"A little more than thas, think"
well, you've jibed at the gramo+
phone"
But gramophone-to be any good
costs anything from 9S to 9S0-unless
you get one secondhand"
How dare you suggest should give
a member of nv family a secondhand
present."
Il didn't"
Don't add insult to injury, Joseph
Virtue"
"Insult?"
Yes, and call me liar-anything is
better than innuendo."
"Innuendo?"
-: IF economic on your tobacco or the
household butter you say am mean; il
try to give handsome present in your
name I'm a spendthrift, and when /
deny am either you call me liar"
my dear, l never called you liar 81,
spendthrift or mean in my life
Yes you did-just now"
"When-how?"
ooh, not in so many words, but you
said it and l shall never get over il"
What a pity we haven't a grsmo-
phone ourselves; it would settle all our
quarrels."
Il wish we had 1t would show you
up"
Virtue sprang from his chair, plunged
his hand into the greenery and made a
movement like turning on a tap. A
wheezy whirr struck upon Mrs. Virtues
ear and the next moment nasal voice
began: IF you're going to tie me down
to sos it's no use thinking about jewelry
or plate, is it? What do you want to give?
Well, now, can't you suggest something?
1t ought to be something out of the way,
oughtn't it? A set of cut glass or silver
hair brushes Or" Whir-r-r.
What is that?" cried Mrs. Virtue.
sternly.
Your beloved gramophone, my
darling" answered Joseph, maliciously.
You see how l endeavor to forestall
your slightest wish"
"Of all the beastly inventions!"
screamed Mrs. Virtue.
: mot at all" whirred the machine. Il
heard one the other day at Jacks. 1t was
delightful" Whir-r-r.
Your own words. my love-"
do you imply this is a reproduction
of my voice?"
81 do"
Whir-r-r. Il repeat, the gramophone
is most marvellous and pleasing repro
duction of the human voice."
Whir-r-r.
There you are, my dear"
Whir-r-r. 1T wouldn't be bad idea
to use one in the law courts. would
certainly take my oath on its evidence.
Ha, hal" Whir-r-r.
This is some trick, some impudent
trick" shrieked Mrs. Virtue above the
horrid din Of the machine, but it went
mercilessly on: Whir-r-r. "A gramo-
phone costs anything from s8 to ESQ,
unless you get one secondhand"
Whir-r-r. How dare you suggest /
should give a member of my family
secondhand wedding present. didn't"
Whir-r-r.
You see? You invited me to call you
a liar, didn't call you one"
Joseph Virtue! will you stop that
that-hatefCl- cruel-maddening ma
chine or shais die yelled Mrs. Virtue.
But her tormentor wheezed on.
Whlr-r-r. What pity we haven't
gramophone ourselves; it would settle
all our quarrels. l wish we had. 1t
would show you up" Whir-r-r-r-r.
The thing stopped at last and the ST.
lence was broken by hysterical sobs
You're the cruellest husband any
woman ever had. shall get divorce. ..
Remember, the gramophone will be
called into court as evidence"
Then will take poison and die"
Don't. Let US rather agree to cease
But the 8 sramopheae?'+
Lets give it away"
ITO G-Gladys?" W
ut isn't secondhand, you know.
| Shall WEI"
s1Uo,