Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1905-10-31
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A good runner is not one who IS
constantly into debt and running away
from creditors.
He fervently)--I would work hard
at anything for you. She (sweetly)-
Well-er-let's begin on your bank
account-Puck
Bobby-How much footwear do You
wear out in a month"; Tommy? Tom
my-Two pairs of shoes and pair CT
my mothers slippers.
Him-Yes, he's an artist a must
clan and poet He poor fellow! l had
no idea poverty had such hold on
him.-Chicago Daily News
She-I wonder why the baby doesn't
begin to talk, John? He-Why, 1
guess because you don't give him a
chance, dear.-Yonkers Statesman.
Old Boarder-How does the beef
steak here compare with that in the
boarding house you just left. New
Boarder-It's neck and neck.-Baltl-
more American.
Bill-Dld you ever notice how many
tall men you meet in day? Iill--No,
but I've often noticed how many short
men one meets when you want loan
-Yonkers Statesman.
Yes, Miss Myrtle" drawled Reggy
Van Pickle, there is time for all
things" Indeed" yawned the girl in
the Roman chair. Then you have
really looked at the clock"
How can you let George boss you
around that way? 1 always thought
you so independent Yes, dear, but
you mustn't forget that Christmas is
not far Off "-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Zone danger bout education" said
Uncle Eben, lis dat young man IS
lrble to stan aroun' recitin Woodman,
Spare Dat Tree, when he ought to be
chopin firewood. Washington Star.
Marriages, you know" remarked
Miss Elderleigh, are made in heaven"
"Oh, well, cheer up" reioined Miss
Youngbud. consolingly You'll prob
ably go there some time."-Chicago
News
How do you know that Solomon
was the wisest man?" That's easy"
answered Mr.. Dustin Staz. His wis
dom is proved by his extraordinary
accumulation of notwithstanding
ton Star.
First Elevated Road Strap-Thats
a mighty pretty girl. Second Eleyat-
ed Road Strap-Yes; and, what's more,
! can support her in the manner to
which she has been accustomed.-New
York Sun
Lady-What is it. little boy? Boy
l come to claim de reward you Of
fered for de return OF yer canary.
Lady-But that is eat. Boy-Hes,
but the canary is inside de cat.-Chi-
cago News.
Travers-I hear you are lecturing on
the Strenuous Life. Palavers-Yes,
got tired of hustling, and it's so much
easier to tell other people what to do
than it is to do things ones self-De-
troit Free Press.
Farmer Skidmore Geading signs in
city hotel room)-"Gas burned all
night charged extra" Don't blow out
the gas" These fellers is bound to
catch you one way or the other
Cleveland Leader.
Father-What did the teacher say
when she heard you swear? Small Boy
She asked me where l learned it
Father-What did you tell her? Boy
i didn't want to give you away, pa,
so blamed it on to the parrot.-Ex-
change.
First Bachelor-Suppose you saw
some beautiful scenery coming over
the Rockies. What was it like? Sec
ond Ditto-It had gray eyes and brown
hair and blue gown; it sat just across
the aisle from me.-Detroit Free
Press.
Gunner-I'll wait outside the barber
shop until you get shaved. How long
are you going to be? Guyer-About
eight hours. Gunner-What! Guyer
Yes. there is a varsity eleven N
there waiting to get an end-of-the-sea-
son haircut.