The daily morning journal and courier., 1905-01-17

you would fight against three great evils. Tell me what they are"
 My godfathers and godmothers," was the reply of one youth.
 Now, my dear children said an archdeacon, T will ask you few ques- tions in your catechism. Which, of you can tell me the two things necessa- " in baptism?"
 Quite right, water Water is one thing, and what is the other? What! Can none of you think what else is ne cessary? We'll, little girl, what do you say?"
 Little Girl: Please, sir, a baby" Teacher (after class had read of St. Paufs adventures among the "barbari- ans of Melita'): What is a barbari- an?"
 Pupil: "A man who cuts hair,- sir!" Surely it was an Irish child who ex- plained that under the Salie law no wo- man could become a king. Another de- finition which will not appeal to every poet is: Poetry is when every line be- gins with a capital letter." oliver Goldsmith was one of the greatest peons in Ireland, and his fath- CT was a clergyman. He wrote the De serted village the Unauthorized virgin, and many others.' ..!- A Standard V. boy gives the following information about the pig: "A pig when living has four legs, but when I you kill it the butcher says it only has two, because he calls the front legs shoulders and the back legs are called hams. Ham tastes nice, and they boil it to eat at a wedding. The missus sprinkles little bits of toast on it to make it look pretty" t..-... ...,.. The hare is dealt with by youthful author in Standard III. in the following manner: Young hairs are called leve- retts. Hairs sleep much. They always sleep with their eyes open. Hairs have no eye-lashes. Their four legs are shorter than their hind legs. Their ear ring is remarkably good. Hairs pass their lives in solitude and silents. They are often hunted on horseback and by hownds." ,gy-
 A natural history tyro has quaint ideas about the camel. ''Its nest" he says, lis very mean one, made of twigs, leaves, Sc. It has a large body, and it is able to carry it full of water. It has two humps of fat on its back, on which 1t is able to feed when 1t Is hun. gry. Its feet are webbed, in which 1t is able to cross the desert. Its hair is used to make brushes which are used for painting. 1t also lays eggs. It eats worms" /
 The following incident occurred few, weeks ago:
 Scene: History lesson to Standard III. on the LOSS of the White Ship"
 Teacher: Tt is said that after King Henry heard of the death of his son he never smiled again." Boy (who has been deeply interested in the story): Please miss, what did he do when they tickled him?"
 The following answer to a physiology question was written by a boy who eyi- dently tried to make the most of it." , Q. What are the lungs? Where are they placed? What ade they used for? A. The lungs are too in number; they are orgins of the body; they are ''bee- hived' in shape; they are situated in the abdomen and are, used for thinking purposes. g.. ........... .t.z
 "A short. time ago. says teacher, T was taking a lesson on the use of the hyphen. Having written a number of examples on the blackboard, the first of which was 'bird-cage,' asked the boys to give reason for putting the hyphen between bird and cage After short silence one boy who is among the dunces held up up his hand and said, It is for the bird to perch on, sir
 The ubiquity of Bill Bailey is shown by the following version of Colin Sterne's verses:
 Hark to the smith with his clang, clang,
 clang.
 In his forge he's working daily;
 For his arm is strong, and he sings a song As he strikes his An-Bill Bailey. The teacher had been talking about a hen sitting on eggs, and, with the incu- bator in his mind, asked if eggs could be matched in any other way. 'Yes, put 'ern under duck" was the re- sponse. Please excuse little Mary from att tending school this afternoon, as she has an illustrated throat, with glaciers on both sides," was a note sent to a teacher.
 | It was playtime. Wordy warfore was being waged between two cherubic little brothers of four and five summers. "As I drew near" says a teachers: "
 Please, can Stanley play on my harp?" cried the bigger.
 "'Yes, I shall; yes, shall!" taunted little Stanley, dancing with mischievous joy.
 "'But, Harold, you haven't a harp
 "'When we're in heaven!' he nut tered, fiercely. He says, when we're in 1 1, I,a sJ, ,11a VT an Y,,v hor1.ft D