The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23
MUMoR OF NE d..

A02A0L6 III
why. do you contend that Solomon was
not a wise man when all history bears ev-
Il am merely judging Solomon by my
self; I vas dun fool Tor marrying twice
and solomon went me q couple Of thou
sand better. Houston Post.
Chisel-Wasn't it outrageous? Auction
Ger wanted to knock my statue down for
Critic-wen, that was a little high, but
he ought to have some sort Of reward
Chicago News.
Who's your father, my little man7"
Mister Brown is my father"
And what's his business2''
He runs bucket shop"
and where have you been2'
I've been to have my hair cut
lid. you pay for it,"
And don't you know the money you
gave the barber was tainted?"
''Aw, faint de money dat smells so-itR
de hair oil."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Rockefeller ST.. to Jr.-You've been
drawback to me during your whole busi-
Rockefeller Jr.-You ought to be very
fond of me then, father, for a drawback is
q rebate and you know how attached you
erat.
Irate Employer-See here, you young
Rip Van Wrinkle, hired you only yester-
DAY, and believe you've been asleep ever
Sleepy Joe-Thats what I thought YOU
wished, sir. Here's your advertisements:
Wanted, an office boy, not over sixteen
Chicago Journal.
Bacon-Did you get any seeds from your
Fgbert-Sure.
Bacon-Piant any?
Egbert-No. and I'm not going to. Last
year planted some beautiful American
Beauty rosebush seed, and it came up on
ions-Yonkers Statesman.
You're such a wretched writer it's a
wonder you wouldn't get typewriting
Il would. only that would show what a
miserable speller am" -Philadelphia
Press.
Bnkins-Who's that jolly old chap who
is doing a breakdown as If he didn't have
a care in the world?
Wilkins-That's stuffem. the millionaire
broker.
Bilkins-And who is that solemn young
chap, who looks as il the responsibilities
of the nation rested on his shoulders?
Wilkins-That,s his son, who is just out
of college.-Couneil Bluffs Nonpareil.
Jim Jaokson-I understan' yo've bin Civ
in folks de impression dat I'm a liar
yo's puffic'ly honest.
Jim Jackson-Yes; but eberybody knows
yo' nevah tells de trufe about muffin
Judge.
Towne-You don't appear to consider my
opinions very valuable.
Browne-Weil. you don't seem to think
so, either.
Towne-Why?
Browne-If you did you wouldn't give
them so freely.-Chicago Journal
AIRS. NevIywed--L don't know whether to
bake a pie or cake for dinner?
Chum-Which will last longer2
MS MiffewIywedCSG On II 9oesnt maze
other.-Detroit Free Press.
YES, they were married in haste"
And repented at leisure, eh?"
No; they repented almost Immediately
Louisville Courier-Journal.
why have the wibblesons been sudden
ly dropped by society? They never seem
to be invited anywhere any more?"
oh. haven't you heard? It's perfectly
= Land sakesi Do tell me. I'd never
have thought it Of either of them,
Shit The nurse let it out. Mrs.
Wfbbleson isn't raising her baby on a
bottle. Chicago Record-Herald.
Tramp-Lady. could yer help a poor fell
Ter OATS. got a sick wife an ten hungry
Lady-How do I know your story is
TramP-why, here's a autograph letter
from President Roosevelt thankin me
fer me glorious example in discouragin'
race suicide.-Judge.
Hair needs trimming badly. sir"
YES, that's about the way you'd trim
Better let me cut it?"
no. it's all right
Comes. down over your coat collar"
Yes; In cl1l- going to have that collar cut
In our amateur theatricals, I carried
II was wondering what had become OF
them. "-Cleveland Leader.
old to be considered eligible?
eligible to be considered o1d.-Puck.
It often happens that a man viii put
himself to no end Of trouble to ind the
key to a woman's Heart wnen all the time
the door is wide open--Life.
well I don't care If 1 do. am little
~ Great frs Scott! You don't mean to say
you ever let it get as far as thatT'-
Punch.
rs that John eivin' the college yell in
THAT s; ANT the &c, college yen; the OLD
he's givin' the home yell.''-Atlanta Con-
stitution.
in the newspapers?
You bet don't answered Farmer
SotHlOSsS4 We put IN rev advertise
Washington StaE.
NO said Mrs. Housekeep, my hus-
band Is not at home. He's out hunting, as
'Tf9lntingi Why. this is the close sea-
Hes hunting cook. The season is all
ways open. ''-Philadelphia Ledger.
Come, While said his mother, don't
be so selfish. Let your little brother play
with your marbles a little while"
But" protested Willie, The means to
keep them always.
stOh, guess not"
II guess yes, cause he swallered EN-
Philadelphia Press.
YES, she's gone back to live with her
husband, but she's having trouble with
him again"