davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1905-08-03
Punch and Judy Came From china

A'unth
Punch and Judy dates back to about
1000 years before Christ.
When the Emperor Mu OF the Chou
dynasty was making n tour through
the empire skilled mechanic named
Yen Shih was brought into his presence
to entertain him and the ladies OF his
court Yen Shlh had some automatic
figures which not only were capable OF
dancing, but Of accompanying their
movements with song
During the performance the puppets
cast such significant glances toward the
ladies that the emperor became angry
and ordered the execution OF the orig
inator Of the play. The mechanic rip
ped open the puppets and proved to his
astonishcd majesty that they were nr-
tlhcial. Instead Of being executed Yen
Bhih was allowed 10 repeat the per
brmancc. which corresponds TO Punch
md Judy In England and America
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1905-08-03
The Absurd Poor.

Give you a nickclT' said Miss Dc
style. ooh. no! ! never dispense pro
mlscuoug aims. Why do you not OBJ
tain employment
"Plcnsc, num-" was the tlmid reply,
81 have small baby. md people won't
be bothered by woman with child"
Then. You absurd creature. why not
lenyc The child at home with It's nurseT'
Philadelphia Bulletin.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1905-08-03

To make one of the best gate latches
I ever saw for yard and garden gates
take two pieces of wood " by inches,
10 inches long, and short piece as
thick as a girth ring and as long as the
gatepost Is thick. Put the short piece
between the two long pieces at one
end; then nall all three pieces togeth-
er. Now take common girth ring;
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1905-08-03
Nothing of the Kind.

Now, sir" snId tho advocate. cross
examining u witness. "your answers
are not satisfactory. ! nm afraid you
are slightly ambiguous"
Witness with great indlgpation)-I
am naethlng o. the kind. sir. I'm n
strict teetotaler.- London TitBits.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1905-08-03
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS, A
Save Money
Buy Liquors Direct

Robert Levin & Co., IA
SInithfield ST., Pittsburg, Pa,
sell only pure goods for family
and medicinal use.
A full gallon Of pure Rye Whiskey.
81. 80 to s.. We are still sole owners Of
GRANDFATHER'S CHOICE
A guaranteed, 3-year old Whiskey-
g.. 90 per gallon.
All kinds Of High-Class Wines and
Liquors Write for prices. We pay
express charges on all orders Of S.. or
over; and guarantee secure boxing and
prompt shipments.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1905-08-03
suffered On, IN. cb,,a.. Nam.

Fianncry II seems his full name Ii
DInnis X. X. X. Casey. What's NIL
thin KS furf Finnegan - Nothin'
Twas the fault OF his godfather slut
term whin he tried to say "Dinnis ca
Philadelphia Ledger.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1905-08-03


average daily gain for 1O5 days. 20
pounds.l
milk calf, $3.50, and we have left $461
to pay for the expenses of milking and
hauling 953 pounds of milk to the
creamery
These figures do not tell the whole
story as to the profit. Cows that are
MIXED produce larger yields than
when sucking calf For instance,
the college herd has averaged 6,273.6
pounds of milk per COW during the
year 1902 The amount of skim milk
consumed by the skim milk calf repre-
sents .91S pounds OF whole milk. Sub
tract this from the average product of
the average COW In the college herd,
and we have 1886 pounds to be cred
tied to raising calves on skim milk.
According TO the average test OF the
herd, this milk would contain 1926
pounds Of butter fat, which, at 21.0S
cents per pound, would amount to
$3G05 This 1886 pounds Of extra
whole milk produced by the COW that
Is MIXED would yield 3,S66.1 pounds of
skim milk, which, at II cents per 100,
would be worth $3.50, or total of
$40. IS additional income per COW. Add
to this the $17.01, the income from the
butter fat secured from the milk fur
nishing the skim milk for the calf, and
we have total Of S59.76. Deduct from
this the cost Of raising n calf, $7.43,
and we have left $52.33 TO pay for the
expenses Of milking and the hauling
Of G,273.6 pounds Of milk to the cream
cry.
According to statements received
from successful Kansas dairymen, 1t
takes thirteen minutes to milk n cow.
Assuming that an average COW VIII
milk 300 days, we have n total Of six
ty-five hours. to be charged to each
COW. At 1917 cents per hour this costs
$8.12 1t will probably cost 1914 cents
per 100 pounds to haul the milk, max
Ing an expense Of s7.S4 per COW, max
ing the total expense for milking and
hauling $15.9G. Subtract this from
So. .33, and we have left S36.37 per
head 10 pay interest on the money in
vested In q common COW, besides pay
Ing for the labor OF the men and boys
on the farm.
The figures Just given represent av-
eragcs. No enterprIsing dalryman VIII
be satisfied with averages. The expe-
rlence IN raising calves outlined above
indicates clearly that unless the COW
gives considerably more milk than Is
needed for the calf It will not pay to
milk her.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1905-08-03
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.

T c. BOYLE, M. D.
y. EYE, EAR, NOSE and THROAT,
SPECIALIST.
121 East Cunningham Street.
Office Hours, II to 12 a. m, 8 to and
to 0 p. m.
BOTH TELEPHONES.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1905-08-03

The excessive love OF money IL ono
II the widest doors 10 the pcnltcntiary.
- Cleveland Lender
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1905-08-03
NERVOUS DEBILITY,

Vital Weakness and Prostra-
ton from overwork and other
causes. Humphreys Homeo-
pathic Specific No. %, in use
over 40 years, the only success
full remedy. 81 pervial, or spec
ial package for serious cases, So.
Sold BY Druggists sent prepaid receipt of price
Humphreys Med. Co, William & John sts,hY.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1905-08-03

Let 20 or die. That's the alternative
OF the shipwrecked man with the money
bags. A great many people have Ike
alternative ibefore them. Business men
come TO a point where the doctor telis
them that they must -let go or die.
ProLabIv he advised a sea voyage or
mountain air. There's an Obstinate
cough that won't be shaken OH. me
lungs are weak and perhaps bleeding
There Is emaciation and other symptoms
OF disease, which IL unsklIl my OF luiiptOP
erly treated terminate in consumption,
Thousands of men and women IN IKE
condition have found complete meaning
by the use OF DR.. Pierce's Golden Medl-
cal Discovery.
cit gives me pleasure to send you this
testimonial so that some other p0or 5a., aHneaSI
Golden Medical Discovefy." writes Geo. a.
thompson. OF sheldon Ave Chatham. Ont.
ated great deal ard was slowly failing.
Was losing flesh every day Lost st IN I'VE Teight
from 10 pounds down e l1s ,,a Ny Wy. aesh .6q got
thing 10 any one but made I'D my mind that
the end was not far OF. One day my wife
.sadng Rog n ibs f PeToes Gesqe Msdea Msde
comnon sense than anything else y at / had
Famous remedy ae nE and besofe had taken half
" one bottle felt better. Took thirteen
bottles and 1t made new map OF ne. l
gained elAteeD pOunds d1S LcN
cough since. feel splendid and give all the
credit TO your medicine"
Given away. The PEOPLES Exe
Common Sense Medical Ad- KxrsSsT
wiser is sent free on receipt
Of stamps to pay expense OF BnES
mailing only. The book con- 4 sets. E<@Eb
tains 1905 pages. over 700 illus- sx&%H IgSs,
trations and several colored REEAk nysS
plates, Send Il one cent
stanps for the papet-bound
book, or 81 STAMPS for the Tf&1
cloth bound. Address DIR. A ~
r. v Pierce. Buffalo. n. Y. >
DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets
<(sSSs1 cure bad. foul stomach and
XeXes~ constipation and so help to cure
nearly every disease Of man
kind. They regulate, tone up and invigorate
Stomach, Liver and Bowels.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1905-08-03

= Nasal Catarrh quickly yields TO treat
ment by Ely's Cream Balm, which is agree
ably aromatic 1t is received through the
nostrils, cleanses and heals the whole sur
face over which it diffuses itself. Druggists
sell the SOC. size; Trial size by mail, 10
cents Test it and you are sure to continue
the treatment.
Announcements.
To accommodate those who are partial
to the use of atomizers in applying liquids
into the nasal passages for catarrhal trolt-
Jles, the proprietors prepare Cream Balm in
liquid form, which will be known as Ely's
Liauid Cream Balm. Price including the
spraying tube is 75cents. Druggists or by
mail. The liquid form embodies the med
icinal properties of the solid preparation
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1905-08-03

Good Outlook For Horse breeding.
AS to comparative profits In stock
raising, my observation teaches me
that the average man will succeed In
the following order: Cows, sheep, pigs,
horses. If the man has the ability and
fancy sheep far outclass all other
stock for sure thing At the present
time horses are very high and I'm great
demand. In fact In the twenty-five
years that I have been in the business
there has been no time, with the ex-
ceptlon OF 1893 and 1894, but that
the demand for strictly first class
business and family driving horse has
been greater than I could supply. The
business Of horse breeding Is the most
alluring Of all az well as the most
risky and hazardous, says II Vermont
eorrcgDoudcut In Rural New Yorker.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1905-08-03
DR.. E. GREWER,
No. 229 12 SOUTH MAIN ST
NEXT DOOR TO GUARANTY
SAFE DEPOSIT & TRUST Co.,
BUTLER, Pa. ROOMS 1, 2,
ANN
AND 8.

DIR. z. Grewer is q graduate of the
University of Pennsylvania, is now per
manently located at the aboveaddress,
where be treats all chronic diseases o.
men, women AMI children.
/ Diseases of the Nervous System, the
symptoms of which are dizziness, lack
of confidence, sexual weakness in men
and women, ball rising in the throat.spots
| floating before the eyes, loss of memory
| unable to concentrate the mind on one
subject easily startled when suddenly
spoken TO, aud dull distressed mind
which units them for performing the
duties Of life, making happiness impos-
sible, distressing the action of the heart,
depression of the spirits, evil forebod-
ings, cowardice, fear, dreams, melan-
choly, tire easy Of company, feeling as
tired in the morning as when retiring,
lack of energy, nervousness, trembling,
confusion of the mind. depression, con-
stipation, weakness Of the limbs, etc.
Those SO affected should consult US i'm
mediately and be restored 10 perfect
health.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1905-08-03

Clean Culture For Cooling Moth.
Clean culture pays without question
against the codllng moth. Clods fur
1ish places for the larvae TO pupate,
and brush and prunngs furnish fn-
gorlte quarters for such purposes.
Many cocoons were found under
brush. and trees under which brush
was allowed TO lie showed corre-
Ipondlng decrease In the number OF
eUoons under the bark fakes and
D.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1905-08-03

300 acres Of land iu Armstrong County. Pa.
The land IA underlaid with coal; hha large
deposit Of limestone. iron ore and fire clay
two gas wells that have been doing business
for - years. Large brick dwelling, barn and
other outbpildlngs. The property ia one
mile from MnhOning. and on the HroOkyiiIc
A. MHhOniDg Railroad, now being built
which Will make this property worth double
present price. which IA only 1i5.OOO.OO. For
terms see j. a. YOUNG A. co. Penn a High
land AYES. PiLtsburR.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1905-08-03
Kentucky Yarn.

Out on the veranda of a little Ken,
lucky hotel several "colonels" were
slipping mint julip and telling yarns
about the weather.
When All was up in thaw noun
tains, sah," said a lanky old gentle
man, lit began to rain one aftahnoon
and before thaw shower was ovah
thaw was fish all ovah thaw ground
Bass, trout and carp fell right out OF
the clouds, sah."
The old gentleman who was rather
%corpulent placed his glass ON the table
and said:
"Cunnel, that than was a pretty
good yahn, but it don't tech thaw ex,
%perience l had fohty miles south OF
Frankfort. Why, sab, 1t began to rain
than one day and fish came down by
thaw ton. But that isn't thaw strang
est of it. A thundah stohm arose. tn
lightnin' struck thaw field, fried thaw
fish just as nice as if they were fried
in youah own kitchen an"
But the other ~"colonels" fed.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1905-08-03
p v.

During the night the wind gathered
force and the Queen pitched ana rolled
with the waves beating against her
| was as seasick as mortal man had
" been. My illness effectually drove
from M~aubikeck's mind and my own
all thoughts of the condolences he had
proposed to unfold to me on that day.
In fact, about the only thing that could
pleasing to me was the promise that
| would speedily die and end it all.
But this the ships physician refused to
give.
So two days and part Of the third
passed, and | was still unable to leave
my berth.
In the evening Of the third day of
my illness the lion-tamer sat near me,
looking over some papers | had
brought from New York. Now and
then he would glance at me to see if
| was in need of his attention. The
worst of my illness was over, but
was very weak.
"Maubikeck," | said. almost smiling
at the weakness of my own voice,
why do you sit in this close state
room? You have been wonderfully
good and kind to me. / can never for
get it. But am over the worst of it,
and you need not trouble with me any
more. Go on deck n get a Whit of
fresh air."
Maubikeck smiled.
"The air to be had on deck" he said,
lis not so invigorating as you think.
There Is a dense fog. We are creeping
along, barely keeping Roadway. Moth.
ing can be see 1t is a damp, chilly
evening, the sea is running high, end
altogether it is uninviting on deck.
will sit here awhile and then go to
bed"
He resumed his reading, and I lay
still, listening and thinking.
Suddenly there was a shock and
crash, a cry of horror, a shout of an
ger, and the ship seemed to be driven
by some tremendous force, and shiv-
cred and trembled like a frightened
animal.
Maubikeck leaped to his feet.
There has been a c~ollision!" he
said. Stay where you are, Wilberton.
I will come back"
He rushed from the stateroom, and
I fell to wondering what the result of
this new horror would be. I was so
weak that / did not fully realize my
own position. It is true, I felt and
knew the danger. But my senses were
SO benumbed by my illness and this
new shock that at first I was almost
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1905-08-03
DOG DEALERS HARD LUCK.
Pup He Thought Worthless Turned
Out First Class.

am an INSCRIPTIONS dog dealer.
had for sale a very fine Irish terrier.
His mother cost me $500 and his sire
cost $3.50. thought their get, my
pup, nov a year old, worth 5000, and
SO advertised him.
I was incensed by an offer Of SO
over the phone.
Party never saw the dog. and said
any good ratter would do him (this
had claimed for mine); he did not
care for pedigree, breeding or cost of
parent dogs.
A bright idea struck me. I knew a
curley haired alley dog I could get
for 25 cents. I told the fellow I would
accept the SO offer. He asked me to
meet him at depot with the dog. He
was going home on a suburban train.
I met him with the curly-haired alley
dog, on which, by the way, l had an
option, but at so cents, not Is cents,
as I expected. My customer sneered
when he saw the dog, but handed me
a $40 note.
I smiled when I thought of my joke.
Next week I received a postal card
from my customer that read: "Your
dog is the best ratter lever saw. He
caught forty-two rats the first two
days. He is worth all you advertised
him at, 5000. would not sell him for
s300.-Pittsburg Dispatch.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1905-08-03
EVIL OF PRESENT DAY.
Mental Faculties Greatly Disturbed by
Noise.

Noise.
Noise, in my judgment, is one Of
the most powerful and most success
full disorganizers of the mental facul-
ties in the world" said a thoughtful
citizen to a representative Of the
New Orleans Times-Democrat, "and
when we reflect on the enormou in
crease in noises of all kinds, We will
probably be convinced that the time
is rapidly coming when the race will
be in no small danger mentally On &C
count Of noise. Progress is noisy;
necessarily so, / suppose. But when
| speak of progress of the noisy type.
l, OF course, mean material progress.
We can't build, in a material sense,
without making noise. Intellectual
progress even is not always along
quiet lines. But | was thinking of
noise in a lighter aspect. Have you
not noticed how some men become
mentally reckless on account of loud
talking? Have you not noticed that
children will sometimes shrek them
selves into a highly nervous state?
They become mentally disorganized
on account of the noise they make. l
was a rather close observer of a man
at a game of baseball the other day.
He started to yelling gently and grad
ually worked his way up to the alti-
tude of the shrieking rooter. Before
that game ended that fellow was as
mad as a March hare. He had been
crazed by his own voice. Noise is a
dreadful d%istractor, when you come to
think of it, and the trouble about the
noisy 'rooter' at a ball game is that
is likely to take a few other fellows
with him."
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1905-08-03
Thousands Of Women
ARE MADE WELL AND STRONG
Success Of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound Rests Upon the Fact that Il
Really Does Make Sick Women Well

Thousands upon thousands of Ameri.
can women have been restored to
health by Lydia +. Pinkham's VeSeta-
BILE Compound. Their letters are OIL file
in Mrs. Pinkham's Office, and prove this
statement to be a fact and not a mere
boast.
Overshadowing indeed is the success
of this great medicine, and compared
with it all other medicines and treat
nent for women are experiments.
Why has Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound accomplished its wide
spread results FOR good?
Why has it lived and thrived and
done its glorious work for a quarter Of
q century?
Simply and surely because of its ster-
ling worth. The reason no other med
icine has even approached its success
is plainly and positively because there
is no other medicine in the world SO
good for women's ills.
The wonderful power of Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound over
the diseases of womankind is not be-
cause it is a stimulant-not because it is
a palliative, but. simply because it is
the most wonderful tonic and recon-
~structor ever discovered to act directly
upon the uterine system, positively
CURING disease and displacements and
restoring health and vigor.
Marvellous cures are reported from
al: parts of the country by women who
have been cured. trained nurses who
have witnessed cures, and physicians
who have recognized the virtue in
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound, and are fair enough to give
credit where it is due. If physicians
dared to be frank and open, hundreds
of them would acknowledge that they
constantly prescribe Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound in severe
cases of female ills, as they know by
experience hat it will effect a cure.
Women who are troubled with painful
or irregular menstruation, backache,
bloating Tor flatulence). leucorrhea,
falling, Inflammation or liberation OF
the uterus. ovarian troubles, that
"bearing-down" feeling, dizziness,
faintness. Indigestion, nervous pros
tration, or the blues, should take inn
mediate action to ward off the serious
consequences and be restored to health
and strength by taking Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound. Anyway,
write to Mrs. Pinkham, Lynn. Mass,
for advice. It's free and always helpful
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1905-08-03
INDIAN WALKS LIKE a SAILOR.
Step Is Nearly FIat-Footed and Poise
Is Secure.

Step Is Nearly ~Flat-Footed and Poise
Is Secure.
A woodsman walks with a rolling
motion. his hips swaying an inch or
more to the stepping side, and his
pace is correspondingly long. This
hip action may be noticed to an ex-
aggerated degree in the stride of a
professional pedestrian, but the latter
walks with a ~heel-and-toe step, where
as an Indians or a sailors step is
more nearly fat-footed. In the latter
case the center of gravity is covered
by the whole foot. The poise is Sc
cure as hat of a rope-walker. The
toes are pointed straight forward, or
even a trife inward, so that the in
side Of the heel, the outside of the
ball of the foot and the smaller toes
all do their share of work and assist
in balancing. Walking in the woods
in this manner, one is not so likely
either to trip over projecting roots,
stones and other traps as he would be
il the feet formed hooks by pointing
outward. The advantage is obvious
In snowshoeing. If the Indian were
turned to stone in the act of stepping
the statue would probably stand bal
anced on one foot. His gait gives the
limb great control owe his move
ments. He is always poised. If a
stick cracks under him it is because
Of his weight, and not by reason Of
the impact. He goes silently on and
with great economy of force. His
steady balance enables him to put
his moving foot down as gently as
you would lay an egg on the table,
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1905-08-03
ME TOO
Tho "Tall Enders" That Follow Gen.
uine Articles.

Tho "TaII Enders" That Follow Gen.
uine Articles.
II Is sometimes interesting to watch
the curves imitators make to get the
public to buy limitations Of genuine
goods.
Every now and then some one will
think there is a splendid opening to
fix up something like Postum Coffee
and advertise the same way and take
some of the business.
An imltator is naturally ignorant of
food values and how to skillfully
make a cereal coffee. on scientific
lines.
Such men first think of preparing
something that looks and tastes like
the original, with no knowledge of
how the grains should be treated to
prepare them so that the starchy part
is transformed properly and the val
liable nourishing elements made d.
gestible.
Such limitations may be foisted on
the public for a short time, but the
people are critical and soon detect the
attempt, then the imitators go out of
business.
Something like 400 Of these little
factories have been started in various
parts of this country in the past 9
years, and practically all of them have
gone the "1ong journey" Just lately
a new n has come to life and evil
IDENTIFY hopes to insert itself in public
favor by copying the style of the Post
um advertising in the papers.
This is a free country and every
man who makes an honest product
and honestly labels 1t has reason for
some recognition. but the public has
the right to know the facts.
Postum Is the enc original and gen,
uine Cereal Coffee, made skillfully
and for a definite purpose. It has
stood through all the wars of the i'm
i~tators, has o the approval of the
Physicians and the people.
People who really seek to free
themselves from the coffee habit and
at the same time to rebuild the soft
grey matter In the nerve centers. and
thus reconstruct the nervous system,
broken down by coffee, can rely on
Postum.
There's a reason.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1905-08-03
Prof. Wiener and the Peasant,

Prof. Wiener of Harvard university
tells a story illustrating the non-talka-
tive disposition of the Russian peas
ant. While travelling recently in Rus
STA he found himself for a whole day
in the company of a peasant.
Where did you come from?' asked
the peasant by way of greeting.
From America" replied the pro
fessor.
Toward evening, when the journey
was nearly completed, the peasant
asked: And where are you going?'
The professor replied: ITO Mos
cow"
These two bits Of Information were
about as much Is the peasants brain
could hold.