The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1905-04-15
Humorous
- e ), :, i; :. |:

The derrick Isn't handsome, but 1t
has an uplifting induence.--Philadel.
phia Record.
New Years: First Resolution--How
are yen feeling? Second Resolution
Broke. -Ldfe.
Father (from> top Of staircase) ---
Ethel, is that young man gone? Ethel
Awful funny, pa.--Grit.
"Do you think Banks ever fooled hia
wife successfully II know it. He
married her."-Detroit Free Press.
What 10 worse than owing money
you can't payT "Being owed money
you. can't collect."-Cleveland Ledger.
Miss Snowdake-What did Jim jack
son git married for? Miss Washtub-
Lawd only knows-he keeps right on
workin' Puck.
She-Do you think that a woman
can truly love but once? He-Well,
IL that's the only chance she has-yes!
Detroit Free Press.
Papa, will you send me to Europe
to study music?" "No; you can study
1t here, and I'll send you to Europe to
practice. "-Houston Post.
"Never tell a secret, dear. 1t would
DO great breach of confidence"
"What must / do with 1t, mamma 2"
"Well-bring 1t to mev'-Madame.
Father-But do you think you can
make my daughter happy? Suitor-
Happy! Say, you should just have
seen her when I proposed!-Brooklyn
Life.
Mamma-Don't lounge that way,
| Tommy. Sit up like man. Tommy
Why, mamma, men sit down; It's only
dogs and rabbits that sit up.-Phila-
delphia Press.
Teaspout-Why are you so angry
with the doctor? Mrs. Teaspout -
When I told HIM had terrible tired
feeling he told me to show him my
tongue.-Exchange.
Hoax-They say the sultan of Tur-
key scares his wives nearly to death.
Joax-Yes; I've always heard that he
was q harem-scarem sort Of fellow
Philadelphia Record.
Smiggs-There goes a man who has
done much to arouse the people.
smaggG-Great labor agitator, eh2
smlggs-No; manufacturer of alarm
clocks.-Chicago Ledger.
Mrs. Henpeck-This paper says that
married women live longer than single
ones. Mr.. Henpeck-Heavens, wom-
ami Can't you think of something
pleasant to talk about7-Borrowed.
Freddie claims to be related to
you, and says he can prove it. Floyd
/ Related to ,me2 Why that mans a
fool. Freda-Of course, but that may
be a mere Observation-Disclosures
Bits.
| Mrs. Hayrix-Them air Japs must
be kinder hard up for somethin' tew
read. Hayrlx-Why SO, Mandy? Mrs.
Hayrix-This paper says they went
an took lot nv Russian magazines.-
Exchange.
Nervous Old Lady ION seventh floor
of hoteD-Do you know what precau-
tions the proprietor OF the hotel has
taken against FIRE? POrter-Yes, NUM-
he has the place 1nshOored for twice
wot it's worth.-Pittsburg Gazette.
Frenxied Finance: The Farmer lex
citedly)-say, Mister Constubble, I've
lest bin bunkered out Nv every durn
rentI The Policeman drritably)-Well,
don't boiler to me, you come-on! l
amt no magazine publisher!-Puck.
Mrs. Watkyns-Henry, want dol
lar this morning. Mr.. Watkyns-Great
Caesar, woman! Do you think that l
am made Of money! When you want
large amounts you ought to let me
know "A hours in advance.-Somer'
vile Journal.
Irate EmpIoyer-see here, you young
Rip Van Wrinkle, only hired you yes
terday; and I believe, on my SOUL
you've been asleep around here ever
since! Sleepy Joe-Thats what
though you wished, sir. Here's your
advertisement: "Wanted-An office
boy. not over 16; must sleep on the
premises. New Orleans Times-Dem'
|