The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1905-02-26

All the world is in harmony with the
dear old chap who many years ago wisely
declared that music hath charms to soothe
the savage breast But alas. for worldly
recognition. appreciation, and above all.
recollection. how many can finish the
thought
TO soften rocks or bond tie knoueI oak?
And how painfully few there are who
know that not VIII Shakespeare, who gets
unlimited credit for about every saying OF
this type, but Will Congreve, a century
after Shakespeare and two centuries ago,
was responsible for this graceful COM
pliment TO the ma ynetism Of melody!
Music not Only soothes. it maddens,
it saddens, it thrills. it depressee. And
IN more ways than one, II amuses. Here
will be spokenof the special phase of amuse-
ment offered by the unconsciously ignorant
who all the while make ostentatious pre-
tension to superior knowledge.
Alas forall such as these and TO the delight
Of every honest student there is no art
on earth 80 exquisitey merciloss to its
| insincere intruders az music There IL
a ghastiness in the awful depths to which
tho hypocrite falls. which luckily has no
more serious result than the triple laugh
of amusement. ridcue and too often con-
tempt
In the great majority OF instances
where rash pretension betrays itself so
! hopocssly. it il after all the needlessness
which is the most lamentable, for 1t would
he easier, honester, fairer TO oneself SIMPLY
TO confess ones ignorance for the once
! learn the lesson then and there for ali time
and thereafter speak with the knowledge
thus acuuirt and never forgotten. But
not so your charlatan. for he must forsooth
/ let everybody who knows know that he
does not know
Andso it 1mes to pass that Mrs Malaprop,
/ Don Quixote, Nick Bottom, the weaver,
| Fastaff and all the rest of their ilk are
! outdone 10y their latterday imitators. Who
/ speaking of music, strike dscords go dis
taut from true knowledge as to make even
! their best friends weep the tears so often
| following uncomfortable mirth
To coin confederation from the bot
tomless fount of fancy were. indeed. easy;
but it -ufices and is infinitely more con-
vincing to tell the truth than to lie. So for
every incident which follows the narrator
! pledges his word as to its actualty
In panorama parlanoe, the first picture
portrayed represents a famous musical
institution in Southern city. founded
| 10y the glorious generosity of the man whose
name it justly bears To one of the most
capable teachers on the stat Of this con-
,ervatory a gentleman considerate with
the novice, but pitiless to the pretender,
there came one day with her only daughter,
a doting mother. newly rich, snobbish-n
word. the type described by dear old Dean
Swift in the mperishable words, God
shows what he Things of money by the
people to whom He gives II To the pro-
fessor. who had devoted a lifetime to his art
and was still ready to acknowledge there
was much vet to learn, the mother said
Il wish it distinctly understood that my
daughter has extraordinary talent is by no
means to be regarded an a beginner; and,
above ALL she must sing at your very first
quarterly concert an honor, | am told,
bestowed only upon your most promising
pupils.
The shrewd professor, realizing tho utter
hopelessness OF even trying to reason with
or explain to such intelligence. simply
bowed allowing madame to infer that
silence gave consent. But when left alone
with the marvel" of musical proficiency
he proceeded in his own merring way to
measure the depth Of the young lady's
intelligence.
How many sharps are there in the key Of
F major?" he asked in the seductive tone
which had caught mapping many luckless
beginner.
Vocal or instrumental was the answer
ing query, which became instantly and for
all time part Of the humorous history
of the institution
The scene Of the next episode ia laid in n
New York theatre on Sunday evening
with a final full dress rehearsal of new
Eight opera in progress. Incidental TO the
opera there was an extremely difficult
maccompanied male sextet
Seated in the front row was an audience
limited to three gentlemen, the manager
of the company. with a musical critic of
a leading daily newspaper on either side.
The singers had just finished their first
attempt at the sextet, with such disas-
trous results that one Of the musical critics,
speaking in front Of the manager to his
confr re. remarked:
BY CAD, Henry. that was pretty bad-
To which the other replied:
"Yes, my boy; it's a mighty difficult
composition and very close harmony"
Whereupon the manager shouted over
the footlights to the struggling singers:
nat : ~ W lplu You fellows al!
along that you stood too close together
Spread OUT
If the distinguished gentleman had lain
awake nights in the effort TO think out
the most egregiously ludicrous burlesque
on a musical phrase he could not have inn
proved upon this criticism, made in all
seriousness and sincerity.
A New England conservatory next takes
orr attention with two minor yet amusing
illustrations Of ignorance which would be
almost pathetic had not their exponent
spoken with an air Of authority In his
chosen branch of musical study. He was.
or at least so thought himself. an organist
When the teacher to whom he applied
for lessons, who was incidentally. the dean
OF the conservatory, asked him the prelim-
mary question if his piano at home had
pedals, referring obviously to the bank
Of thirty attached to all pianos used In
teaching the organ. the pupil replied.
~Surel Two! Loud and SOFT
And then before the dean could catch
his breath, the dolt proceeded 70 remove
his boots and put on hi, own two pedals
pair Of carpet slippers produced from