The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-16
HUMOR OF THE Day

II HVMOK Or TIE Day
you sign this deed of your own free
what do you mean by that?' demanded
the large. red-faced woman.
on the part OF your husband. has there?s
fsIIimi'' she CALCULATED, looking at the
meek little man sitting beside her.
like to see him trying to compulse me- =
London Ttt-Bats-
'sThe play" said the young playwright.
us to have three acts and two intsr.n is
sions. However. can cut out the two IN
termissions If you so advise:
Moo, wouldn't advise that"
What would you adviser.
and then when you have got it finished
fetch it around for me to look at."-Hous-
ton Post.
ySu foRd of S the es Ssy Rost al
deae.-Chicago Daily News.
Jeffreys-How does your brother take
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. to directions. His
mother-in-law is living with him.-Brook-
Ign Life.
Footpad lin a rasping whisper}--Keep
Summer Boarder-oh, that's ali right!
| thought. perhaps, you wanted this nam
mock.-Puck
| Mrs. Browne wonder if the new order
of things will reform Mr.. Luschley to any
Mr.. Maiaprop@Y Yes he's sal benedictsne.
now--Philadelphia Press.
mo, but how do you know?"
81 was walking with him today just as
a police. patrol wagon dashed up behind
Sous at il.''@Phiiadeiphia Ledger.
| you would advise a young man in pol
| itics to start out boldly as a reformer?"
| Its a getting so that the public won't
| give anybody a chance at the plum tree
WHATS your name?" asked one little f.
Il do declare" replied the second little
girl, you're as inquisitive grown peo-
where I got my new boots: and all such
dngs, until | am almost ashamed OF
Gyer4There goes man with pull, and
| he has managed to make a lot of money
MyerNPolitician, Ell?
Gyer-No; dentist.-chieago News.
Hicks-Guzzle is always waiting for
some one to buy drinks He's regular
| Wicks-Well, no; the average sponge fills
up with water.-Philadelphia Ledger.
/
subject our pastor was this morning?
| Husband-Yes; and 1 also noticed how
slow he was in emptying himself of it.
Cleveland Plain Dealer
Hobo Philosophy-With one look at
! Goodman Gonrong's tattered garments the
i woman of the house slammed the door In
1 his face. Clothes may not make the
man he soliloquized. as he turned away
| and started for the next house, but they
sort o. seem to classify him-'-ChicaEo
Tribune.
| Grac&So he loved and lost?
| Jack-No; he merely didn't get her. She
Can YOU get work for me?' asked the
willing young man.
Pm afraid not. replied the congTes SIS
if that will help any!'-Chicago Daily
News.
1.-The cashier has skipped out and his
| books are in an awful muddle, announced
the bookkeeper. What shall we o9 b,r, ~
once said the president, promptly
| Cleveland Leader.
Mrs. Townley-I don't like her She has
a coarse habit of calling spade spade
when met her She was inclined to call
it anything but a spade. It was at the
Dumley's euchre. Philadelphia Press.
81 never do things by halves" remarked
Biffkins. and the waiter at his elbow put
on an expectant grin. He had only ex-
would give him more. las 1 was saying.
said Biffkins pushing back his chair and
accepting his hat, Il never do things by
halves. Especially in tipping. l always
l1se quarters Here you aren'-Cleveland
Leader
First Insurance Magnate-What is your
| favorite theatrical production?
| Second Insurance Magnate-Other Peo-
| pies Money.-Baltinore American.
Nordy-I haven't heard anything of
Binks for a long, long time. He must be
| dead"
| Butts-No; not dead, but the next thing
to it.
Il Nordy-What do you mean?
Butts-Hes married to a prima DONNA
Philadelphia Evening Bulletin.