Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1905-07-07
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u, WHdL ~ repdrLeeT' "Oh
merely an insult with its dress suit on
my son."-Puck.
Mr.. Flush-Have you change for r.
hve7 Mr. Broke-No; but l would like
to have a five for change.-Ex.
Jurge Knox Gin the court room)-
I've lost my hat Attorney-That's
nothing. lost a suit here yesterday.
Eek.
He-It's hard to keep a secret some
times, isn't 1t? She-I don't know.
I've never tried it-Detroit Free
Press.
A little boy was asked his name, and
answered; well, they call me jim
ME, for short; but my maiden name In
James,"
'I'm sure he said he was out Of pol
itics for good" you must have mis-
understood him. He's out for tho
goods In politics. "-Philadelp Press.
Edith-When accepted Jack he
said he was in the seventh heavenl
Ethel-Quite likely; he's been engaged
to six other girls this season.-Jester.
Minister-So you saw some boys
fishing on the Sabbath, my young man.
Did you do anything to discourage
them? Small Boy-Yes, sirj l stole
their bait.
Hawkins-That pickpocket they
caught is really a very S-.elllgent fell
low. Sampson-No doubt of it. He
proved that by his ability to locate a
lady's pocket.
Jaggles-Do those noblemen who
come over here to visit us acquire
many Of our customs? Waggles-I
presume so. At any rate, they borrow
great deal from us.
my kingdom for a horsew cried
Richard the Third. And a moment
later he was seen slowly emerging
from under his balky automobile
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Mr.. Gooder-Here's q book I'd very
much like to have our daughter read.
1t contains some good advice for girl
Of her age. Mrs. Gooder-very well.
I'll forbid her to touch 1t.
"a mighty poor sermonr said Knox.
as they came out of church. what
would you expect for a cent?" an
swered Cox, who had seen what the
kicker had dropped into the plate.
''Jones borrowed a dollar from me
yesterday" yes" HE paid me back
with the same dollar 1 loaned him."
That's strange" mo. couldn't pass
it either. cleveland Plain Dealer.
Just Too Lovely: "Yes," said the
first actress, ave got lovely new
play for this season." what is itT
asked the other. "a society drama in
four acts and five new gowns."-Ex.
Kissing Bugs: He-Let us sit out
on the lawn and watch for shooting
stars. She oh, somebody might see
us. Let's sit inside the grape arbor
and watch for lightning bugs.-Judge
YES" said Mr. Borem, 'I'm disap-
pointed in these shoes. It's funny now
adays how ones things wear out be-
fore one knows it." "Yes," replied
Miss Weary, with a yawn, especially
ones welcome"
Teacher-Now, then, Tommy, you
have no good excuse Tor staying away
from school yesterday. Tommy-Well,
1t wasn't my fault. Teacher-It
wasn't? Tommy-No, ma'am. done
my best to think up one.
"Oh, childrenl You are no noisy to-
day. Can't you be little stiler and
petterT Now, grandma, you must be
little considerable, and not scold us.
You see, if 1t wasn't for us you would
not be a grandma at ALL"
She-And you say you would die for
mel Mr.. Boresome-A thousand times.
She-Would you mind doing it just
once-straightaway? You know papa
has been appointed coroner, and he
hasn't had any practice yet.-Boston
Traveller.
Burly Party-Are you aware, sir,
that you deliberately placed your UNI
Drella In my ear last evening? Little
Bifferton-Very careless of me- I'm
surel wonder what became Of ii,
and Would 1t be too much trouble
TO ask you to return it?-Tit-Bits.
Jones-It is just impossible for me
to keep a lead pencil. People are al
ways borrowing, you know, and they
always forget to return. Brown-Why,
L never have any trouble. See, I've
got whole vest pocketful of pencils.
Jones-Doesn't that prove just what I
said?
WILLIE met our new minister on
my way to Sunday school, mamma,
and he asked me If ever played mar
bles on Sunday. Mother-H'ml And
what did you say to that? Willie-I
said Get thaa hohInd mo Sn+nr,n nnd