The Topeka state journal., 1905-04-18
Tom McNeaI Startles the College
Professors.
Suggests That People in Heaven
Would Return.
KANSAS BETTER PLACE
No Great hush to Enter the
Pearly Gates.
Humorous Address Before Medi-
cal College Graduating Glass.


morning in the veins of 4. A. AIcNeaI,
Governor Hoch's private secretary and
humoFist- Mr.. McNeal addressed the
graduating class of the Kansas Medi-
cal college this morning at the Wash
burn college chapel in lieu of Gov
ernOr Hoch who could not be present
Mr.. McNeaI shocked the said pro-
fessors. He said: s'The people that
are of worth always die. The people
that should live, die; and the people
that ought to die, live. You doctors
ought to examine into this. The time
will come some day when the microbe
of old age will cease to exist and when
the people that ought to live will live
on and on through countless years.
For have noticed this, that though
they sing of the jasper walls and the
streets paved with gold and the un-
dying bliss which waits to meet the so
/ journer up there, that there is no great
rush to get there. And I have no
doubt that a great many who went up
there from Kansas would give any
thing to get back
The four or i've hundred people who
had been laughing at McNeaI's vii
| ticisns, the whole Of his talk started
into a smile as usual but when the last
sentences struck their ears the smile
I died away and gave place to expression
/ OF astonishment and a gasp of dismay.
/ A line OF the professors of the liberal
arts department who were sitting in the
rear of the chapel squirrned uneasily in
I their seats and looked apprehensively
around as if fearing that McNeaI would
I follow his remarks with still something
4 more unorthodox To take away the
taste little McNeal then introduced an
+ allegOrical tale in which St Peter was
( supposedly holding conversation with
I the spirit of a formerly Of Kansas man
/ who had departed the earth during the
cyclone ana grasshopper era of Kansas
and who was looking with longing eye
upon the fair and glowing aspect which
Kansas now presented with it's over
flowing granaries filled with golden
! grain The ex-kanSan announced his
| intention of going back to which St.
Peter is said to have replied, 4 would
go back with you too IL I could find
some one to tend the gates
The Appendicitis Trust.
The allegory was taken with better
grace and the line of professors un-
bent with sides shaking with laughter.
MeNeal took a side shot at the
faculty of the medical college who
occupied places upon the platform in
the following remark: Il am against
this appendicitis trust. It has come
to be now that you can't walk down
the street without running the risk
OF catching it. And I have noticed
! that whenever they remove the ap-
4 pendix they usually remove $500 from
your material wealth. The increase
in new doctors grows at a direct
4 ratio to the increase of new diseases -
4 DR.. Herbert L. Alkire dean of the
medical faculty, who is retiring in
4 favor of DR.. w. S. Lindsay acted as
master of ceremonies
In addition to the address which was
/ placed opposite to the name of Governor
1 Hoch an address in behalf of the facul-
ty was made by DR. VIM. F. Bowen who
y introduced a little advice to the grad
uating students during the course of his
4 remarks DR.. Bowen said in part: 1T
may not be amiss to give you few
! preVentlVes which will be We'll to carry
with you. One preventive which is alb
solutely essential and of which YOU
Il cannot have too great a supply is Cour-
age Another preventive which mind
you, must be put I'D in homeopa thic
doses, to be beneficial which if mt IN
in alIopathic doses is pOisonous-that is
conceit. Another preventive closely
allied to this and often. mistaken for it
is self reliance. If you would accom-
plish anything you must have the cour-
age of your convictions. Store yourself
with all the information possible from
u every available source and then insist
on yourself Be loyal to your profess
sion. I know of no profession in which
a mans character is so microscopically
tested as that of a Doctors, and it is
right that it should be. for if he is a
cheat as a man he will be cheat as a
doctor. When man has the title Doc
tor of Medicine, it should insure a true
man. as honorable as God has made
him. and the people have a right to eX-
pect it. If a man cannot prove himself
such, he should be deprived of the
title"
Eighteen doctors received diplomas
this morning, two of whom were girls
Through a mistake in the printing of
the programmes the name of one Of the
graduates, Frank H. White. was leet
off. thus creating the impression that
the class numbered but seventeen.
This afternoon the alumni Of the COL
lege are holding their annual reunion
at the Medical college building at the
corner of Twelfth and Tyler streets. A
large number of out Of town doctors, a
portion of the alumni are in attend
ance A prize viii be awarded at this
time to the member of the graduating
class presenting the best thesis on some
stage of pneumonia.
Banquet Tonight.
This evening the annual banquet will
be rendered the members Of the gradu-
ating class and the alumni by the fac
ulty at the Throop hotel at 8 o'clock.
About 125 guests are expected for this
event. DR.. T. w. Peers will ohiciate as
tOaStmaster.
A series of toasts on the four stages
Of life will be given by representatives
from the four different classes of the
medical college.
The following will respond to toasts:
w r Moore, D. r. Sterret, r. II.
A Harper, DR.. J. E. Minney and Dr.
Governor Hoch has been invited to
attend as guest.
Weather indications.
70 -