The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-02
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Clare-But, my dear, It is a secret. l
vowed on my honor never to tell.
I'm listening.-Le Frou-
Frou.
ITS a beautiful worldT' exclaimed
the caddie. enthusiastically. YES"
said Mr.. Rockefeller, looking apprecia-
lively about; Il don't know that l ever
owned better one."-Life.
Kilson-Gaylord's wife used to be
awfully stout, and now she is quite
thin. What caused the change. l Won
der? Marlow-Divorie. This isn't the
same wife.-Town and Country.
Cholly-I s-say, guide; | think we
are following these bear tracks in the
wrong direction. Gulde-O, no. We
will soon catch up with him. Cholly-
T-that's what l m-meant.-Judge.
Gaspard De Chugchug-Di-did mon
sieur advertise for a chauffeur? Old
Grigsby-I did, but you amt the one.
I'm hoping the son OF gun will apply
who ran over me last week.-Puck.
Are prices regulated by supply and
demandT Certainly" answered the
trust dictator; by whatever supply we
choose to have on hand and whatever
demand we choose to make. Wash
ington Star.
He l presume you carry a memento
of some kind In that locket of yours7
She-Precisely. It Is lock Of my hus-
bands hair. He-But your husband is
still alive. She-But his hair is all
gone.-Judge.
Professor Chalkdown-Now, what
little boy will make up a sentence IL
Illustrating the meaning of the word
'triangle'7 Little Sammy-Well, II
grubs won't ketch 'em try angle
worms.-Judge.
First dune-Well, do you think Miss
Van Gullion intends to buy you? Sec
ond duke-My dear boy, don't know.
, Some days l think she does; at other
time l fear she is merely shopping
Hartford Times.
n Tom-Now that your engagement Is
!, broken are you going to make Clarisss
|, send back your letters? George-Yor
bet ami l worked hard on those let
. tiers; they's worth using againP'-De
>, troit Free Press.
/. Hostess-shall help you to th
Ie cake, Tommy? Tommy-No'm. lie
IT me help meself first Ma told me no
N to help meself more'n onct- You cal
lie help me all you please afterward.-
e Philadelphia Ledger.
10 DIR. Jones-My dear sir, have JUS
Il. been to call on your wife's mother an
DO her condition is very serious Smith
he Tell me the plain truth, doctor. Al
or | to fear for the best or hope for th
worst?-Town and Coutry.
Id statistics show that more than nv
er thousand people disappear every yes
Id in this country and are never hear
I'D from again" But confound 1t, the
as never happen to be the people we ow
lc- money to."-Chicago Record-Herald.
re Grinnand -Hamfatter h'
ey lust bought a farm. &. Forest Fro
ey Does he know anything about farr
he mgr Grinnand Barrett-Lord, ye
'u, Why he played in THE Old HON
nd stead" and way Down East f
~ years.-Puck.
g. "Hellol Where are you walking
~ such a hurry7" Fellow just stole II
auto and went down this road" "B
surely you don't expect to overtal
-. him on footr' "Sure. He forgot
take the repair kit with him."-Phil
-S delphia Ledger.
"well. Emily. did you have a go
time at the masked ball?' "Ohl | h
the time of my life. had got !
nat husband to dress up as knight
&c heavy armor, and he wasn't able
.or. bulge from one spot all night
Inc Thegende Blatter.
I'M Kind lady-Oh, what a naughty
ing tie boy you havel Doesn't he know
lily wrong to hit his mother with that
on stickf Proud mother-Och! do
A blame me choild, ma'am. He's only
ing ing what he sees his father do, bl
i'm him.-PickMe-Up.
ent Little Clarence-Paw-uhl Mr.. {
lsa- lipers-well. my son? Little Clarei
YES Paw, when a doctor is sick and CT
in another doctor to doctor him, Is
who doctor doctored the way he wants to
the doctored. or does the doctor doctor
los lust as he thinks he ought to be
tored Puck.
the She-There's an awfully funny j
but I heard today about an Irishman In
lent automobile. He-Yes, dear; l he
y a II. She-Oh, you mean thing!
one wanted to tell 1t to you. 1t was
CIV funny. He-Go ahead. dear, 1t Will
hey even funnIer the way you tell
lage Philadelphia Press.
"What is the difference betwee
are practical and a theoretical farm'
OF "A theoretical farmer" answ'
ever Farmer Corntossel, us one that in'
dict on tryin' to make a Twin of the II
the an the practical one jes' faces the
iaily eyitable an turns the place owe
- summer boarders. "-Washington