The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-04-01
SAM AND I, By BILL BLYE.

"Good morning, Sam, glad to see
you here so early. You must be
feeling in excellent humor this morn
ing"
"Idew, Bill. Jist left Sally laugh
ing all over tibet new joke / got Oh
on the dentist last even, and tibet
made me feel consarn pert
"What was the joke, SAM let me
hear it,
"Oh, l didn't think it wur much
ontil Sally made sich er fuss; then,
gum, it did sound ridickerlous. You
know, Bill, ther dentist has er sign
out readin' Teeth inserted for S dol
lars, while you wait. / went in an
told him he wur as slow as merlassns
in er bank thet / he'd bull
pup ter home wot would insert teeth
fur nothin,, an you didn't hev ter
wait er seckond."
Good, Sam, that's about on the
level with the one the fellow I met
down street sprung on me. said to
him, look here, my man, I like to
see fellow take a drink once in a
while; but I don't like to see him
drink and keep it up Nor do l.
says he, I like to see a fellow drink
all the time and keep it down."
''Now didn't thet blow yer hat in
ther gutter, Bill?'
mo, and when you get home,
Sam, you just tell Sally that you left
your watch up stairs in your Sunday
trousers and it run down.
"Durn my brindle COW, Bill, you
are gittin pert"
mot at all, Sam. but tomorrow
morning you ask Sally which kind of
her hens lays the longest.
~ will, b'gosh an she'll tell me
ther White Leghorns."
No, dead ones, Sam"
''Well, I'll eat my hat ef you
don't jar my narves.
Not in the least, Sam, did you
ever have horse run away with your"
"No, l didn't, Bill, but my brother
he'd sich an accerdent, an wur laid
up fur six months. Why did yer
ask, Bill?"
"Oh nothing much. I just know
a man who had an accident much like
it, but different-he run away with a
horse, and was laid up for six years"
"Look "a here, Bill, you are jist
erbout gittin' too smart fur this kom-
munarty, an eff you keep blowin' this
way much longer ther is goin' ter be
er regular tornader, an don't you
fergit it."
II don't, Sam, but talking about
blowing, and tornadoes, reminds me
of a little affair that I saw out in
Kansas about eight months ago. I
rode out of town one day to see a
friend in the country, and when ] got
there the carpenters were just in the
midst of house raising as they
call putting up the frame and weather
boarding of a building. They had
/. the framework already up, and were
placing the weatherboards-one set
Of carpenters working on the west
side, and another set on the east side.
Presently light breeze commenced
to come out of the west, and along
toward noon the wind commenced
getting up pretty strong. By and
by it got so strong-from the west
Sam--that the carpenters working on
that side couldn't draw back their
hammers against the blowing wind to
drive in the nails, and it kept getting
stronger. Then 1 said to one of the
carpenters, Just hold the nail where
you would drive it with the hammer. ;
He did so, and the wind drove it in
clean to the head in less than FIVE
seconds. The carpenters on the
side the wind was blowing had their
part finished before those on the east
side were halfdone. tell you, Sam,
the wind is all right out there"
"Say, Bill, what kind O. Ticker do
them fellers drink out there durin'
workin' hours?'
"The kind that stays down, Sam.
and it's all right"
$50 are you, Bill, but did you hear
of ther reduced rates fer sendin'
mails? Talk erbout cheap rates. This
mornin' seen one hundred an ninety
pounds go fer a two-cent stamp"
"You're III mean, Sam, you
don't know what you are saying. One
hundred and ninety pounds for two
cent stamp. You're dreaming"
"Well / wur awake wen you fetch
ed ther stamp, an you weigh jist
19o."