Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-01-07

In the strenuous days of the Washington
Police Court, when the late Judge Tom
Miller presided over its destinies and rem
dered it's DEGREES. there were sometimes
funny happenings inside its gloomy portals.
AT that time one Judge was required to con-
duct the entire business in one court
room During the trial of a colored wo-
man for habitual drunkenness her husband
was called to the witness stand in her be-
half.
.The testimony shows said his honor,
that your wife drinks a good deal of gin
and whiskey. Is that sou
"Yas. sah." replied the husband. "Jedge,
I'm goin' to tell de truf-dat oman OBJ
mine am de mos ambishus drunkard ever
seed
That il the first time l ever heard
drunkard described as ambitious" retorted
Judge Miller driiy, as he gave her ninety
days sentence.
On another occasion when saloonkeeper
was being tried on the charge of selling
liquor Sunday, an old colored man was
the prosecuting witness. 1t appeared that
two policemen who had been sent out to
make some Sunday cases had given the
aged negro a twenty-five cent piece with
which to purchase half pint OF whisky
from saloon that was under suspicion as
a Sunday speak easy. The policemen
waited around the corner while Uncle Dick
went in to get the stuff. Presently he
came out, and he had the half pint, minus
a big drink ne had taken from the bottle.
The officers took the liquor as evidence.
and Immediately summoned the old fellow
to pe In the Police Court on certain day
to testify against the saloonkeeper.
On the witness stand the police with
smiling faces told of their foxiness in CIV
ing Uncle Dick the money and sending
him into the place to buy the liquor. and
thus convict the seller of strong drink. The
case looked bad for the defendant when
the old colored man mounted the stand to
clinch matters. as the law officers supposed.
Where did you get this flask of whisky
asked the prosecuting attorney.
In ORifferty's saloon. sah."
"When?'
Las Sunday. sab"
Abr with a smile of triumph), $50 you
got it at Mr.. O'Riffertys, and on Sunday,
eh?'
Vas sah."
Now, Dick, how much did you pay Mr..
O'Rifferty for it?'
Il didn't pay him nothin, sah."
hat! numbered the attorney do
you mean to say he gave YOU the whisky
Vas sab. OATS de case replied the old
colored man blandly. Il dun tole him my
ole woman wuz moughty sick, an he dun
glib me de Ticker fer her."
Then, SIR demanded the attorney Sc
verely what did you do with the 25-cent
piece the policemen gave your?
Il dun buy some hog face an hominy wild
1t, sab"
a quizzcal smile. THAT old black man
has sold out the police department. the
District government and the Police Court
for quarter of dollar
X X
Il made discovery a few days ago that
was certainly a new one to me-" remarked
a local newspaper man. During the Christ
mas holidays a large dish of nuts, In the
she'll, reposed on the sideboard in my dining
room No matter how often the dish was
replenished 1 noticed that the contents dis
appeared with surprising rapidity. Finally
l felt that 1T was necessary to mildly re-
monstrate with my wife, so l warned her
that she would certainly make herself sick
If she continued to eat many of the nuts
she denied that she had partaken of any
OF them, so we inaugurated a watch on that
dish In the hope of learning the Identity
of the pilferer.
Il was little short of amazed, after wait
ing an hour or two. to see our little fox
terrier jump up onto a settee and reach
carefully over to the dish on the sdeboard
with paw Next an English walnut and
a pecan were pushed over the side of the
dish and fell to the floor. The dog leaped
down, cracked the nuts with his teeth and
ate the meat adepty as any squirrel
could have done. After the operation had
pee peen re, repeated several times l interrupted
the lootng. l did not know before that a
canine would steal, crack and eat nuts"
Hey
The passenger who was leaving a crowd
ed car at 18th street and New York avenue
one day this week stopped and looked over
his shoulder at a man behind him.
is this your glover" continued the latter.
holding up a large black wooden article.
L guess II is" returned the passenger.
working his way back through the crowd
TO the seat of the speaker and taking the
glove. But where is the other one?"
The conductors hand was on the bell rope
and he shifted his feet impatientIy All
the passengers in the vicinity of the seat
lost the glove rose to their feet good ma
turedly and shook their clothing, looked
over the floor and passed their hands rap
IDLY over the seats. The conductor yelled
hurry up and appeared impatient The
search was continued through the car with
Out result. Suddenly the man who had lost
ms glove gave an exclamation and bush
ed lie started for the door hurriedly but
he did not go fast enough to conceal the
TACT that he had his other glove on his
hand all the time. All the obliging pas
sengers saw 1t and all of them Joined in the
laugh that followed the chagrined pas
senger to the street
X x
1t is just a Christmas story of two sniff
cases. They belong to two young men who
live together in Mount Pleasant One
OF these gentlemen had an engagement to
represent Santa Claus a Sunday school
celebration in Brightwood and the other