The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-27
EXPERT DEFINES THE
 DEGREES OF OSCILLATION

Lawrence D. Fogg in the New York
 World
 Do I agree with Alfred Fowler, B. A, that there are only eight kinds of kisses? ' Long before I had come to years of discretion I had counted more than eight, although I didn't differentiate them then. I never divided my kisses into sections and tagged them unless the girls mouth was too large to be taken in as a whole.
 Only eight varieties of kisses, Evidently MT. Fowler does not come from the Fatherland where osculation is a science and not a satire-or a curiosity. Our Ger man friends could give pointers to this Bachelor of Arts, for they have a great variety of kisses, thirty appearing ,n their dictionary That there may be no gap in the language, the German philo- logists have earned the everlasting grati- tude of lovers by calling the word mach kussen." which means making up for the kisses which have been missed. Not being proficient in German, I dare not attempt to translate the other twenty nine kind of kisses, but if you will ask any German lass to teach you how to graft tulips-the whole thirty varieties you won't need any dictionary. Definf- tions have no significance until you have learned to spell and when 1t comes to oscuation most men don't know even their A, B, Cs. If there is a girl handy a man need never go to dictionary to learn what kiss is.
 By peculiar coincidence the kisses mentioned In the Bible agree with the list compiled by Mir. Fowler in SO far as number Is concerned, but they differ somewhat In personnel. The Biblical list of kisses is: Approbation, adoration, salutation, valediction, reconciliation, sub jection. treachery and affection.
 In addition to the kisses known to the Biblical writers and to Mir Fowler-kisses Christian and kisses Pagan--there are many others. Lack of space permits me to mention only few.
 There Is the kiss of discovery when a woman smacks a mans mouth to learn whether he has been drinking. In the Beggars opera one of the characters says: "One may know by your kiss that the gin is excellent"
 The election kiss has played we'll it's part. It is most frequentls bestowed by candidates upon babies.
 Closely allied to the election kiss is the bribery kiss Famous examples are the Eatanswil elections of Pickwick Papers, the kiss of the Duchess of Portsmouth for those who voted for Fox, and the pathe- uc expedient or Lady Gordon, who bribed young men to become soldiers by put ting the recruiting shilling between her lips. A more modern instance in the versatile Kansas maiden who saved her fathers crops from being ruined in an approaching rainstorm uy offering her lips as reward for quick work in the fields
 Then we surely must reckon the grand larceny kisses-those dainty bits of plum der called stolen sweets.''
 There is the kiss of punishment. an ex- ample of which we have in the recent case where justice condemped man to kiss his own wife. Had another mans wife been designated. the sentence of the court would have been carried out with more alacrity.
 Even bargain kisses are not unknown. for Jersey justice recently awarded a girl sS cents as the price of the honey culled from her lips by drone in the human hive. Out in California have heard that a girl Is dsposine of her kisses at two for five, which would tempt man to take kisses Instead of cigars to brace his nerves.
 There are ring kisses-not the engage