Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-08-12
JUST SOCKS" FOR HIM

An easy-going man with couple of dou-
Bile chins walked into one Of the big de-
partment stores the other afternoon, mop
ped his forehead and looked around mildly
as if waiting for somebody to notice HIM..
a dapper feorwalker finally approached
him.
Anybody waiting on you. sir" inquired
the floorwalker.
Nope, not yet" said the easy-gong look
ing man. I'm looking around for some
hose
"Ah. Mr.. Fturthfioor, this gentleman Is
licking for your department" said the
foo, walker to clerk about to step into
the elevator. Take him up and show him
our line of hose
The double-chinned man stepped into the
elevator after the clerk, and was left off at
the garden hose section.
Now, what size hose are you hunting
for. sr?" inquired the clerk. solicitousty
We've got half-inch inch. inch and half.
two-inch-all sizes. Dye want 1t for
Say" broke in the easy-going looking
You want to water the front lawn eh?'
cut in the clerk. We'll, about how many
feet will you be needing, and dye think the
inch and a-quarter SHELL
Wait a minute, will you. and I'll explain
what
'It'n pay you to get good long piece of
hose, in case you move, you know, to
place that's got bigger yard than the one
you have now. or in case you want to carry
the hose through the basement and water
the plants in the back yard. Now. there
are different makes Of
Say, are you going to give me chance
Different makes of hose. and different
grades. 1t pays nowadays to get the best
the kind that's wrapped with wire-so's
mil cI,i how fhn CtaY ho hnS
while you're using it can't fnjure 1t. 1t
costs little more than the ordinary kind.
of course, but
Look here. will you just dry up for a
minute, and let me-"
"Of course, you understand that we guar
antee every foot of hose that We sell here
and It's not the kind that get porous and
leaky after you've used 1t few times, but
It'll last you twice as long as"
Now, see here. you are you going to
Its a good thing not to leave hose out
in the yard after you're through using 1t,
tho ugh. for hose ought to be kept dry when
it's not in use, and coiled up. too. SO to
give it a chance to-
BY jinks! you must be wound up for
twenty-fOur-
"Of course, you'll want one of those
sprtEkling attachments, too, so that you
can rest the hose on any part of the lawn
and let it do it's work automatically, and
then you'll be wanting"
Hey. hey. your bawled the double
chinned man in tone that could be heard
all over the floor, reaching out and grab
bling the garrulous clerk by the lapel Of
his coat Pull up for a minute! Stop
working automatically yourself. Cut out
that photograph conversation and gimme
chance for my taw marble. Just listen
to me for one-eighth of second. will you?
How and where in blazes did you annex
the idea that was sailing around with a
haunted look in my eye, hunting for garden
hose? Have l got any hay in my hair?
Have l got that commuters look? Do 1
make you think OF The Man With the
Hose?' Say, you. listen to me some more!
l didn't come here to buy lot of rubber
hose wherewith to make front yard sog-
gy. l haven't got any front yard. When
l want to get cooled off 1 have to sit on the
front steps of a boarding house. I never
said word about garden hose did I?
Say, did you ever hear Of hose that the
stern decree of fashion and custom makes
us wear on our feet-sockS, stockings,
stcokinettes, the knit or spun or woven
things that we wear underneath our shoes
Hey. die ever hear of those things any
where? Did. hey? Well, that's what /
want. That's what I'm around here hunt
ing for That's what I'm rubbering around
this plant for-not for rubber hose or rub
Der anything else but socks. l want socks.
Gimme socks or gimme death. Now, how
do you like to listen to a little game of
continuous performance talk yourself on
hot day without a chance in the world to
butt in edgewise7 How do you like to
stand and listen to a hot-air spiel without
any end when the temperatures about "A
hundred in the shade and still a-climbing
Socks! Gimme Socks!"
Then the double-chinned man paused to
gasp for breath, and the bewiIdered clerk
silently conducted him to the socks depart
ment.