davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
GLOBE SIGHTS

[From the Atchison G1obe.1
No man ever told another all his
secrets.
No man knows enough to entitle
him to conceit-
Do not trust your victims; there
are no faithful victims.
How soon man who called his girl
saucy, calls his wife sassy!
How cheap it makes a man feel to
be caught reading a doctor book!
Because you do not hear it, do not
imagine that you are not talked about.
Every little fool has a doctrine, -
and he believes the world will finally
accept it.
Nothing is lasting: the beauty of the
bride lasts no longer than the grief of
the widow.
You may go off by yourself and de-
clare you are as good as anybody; but
the lie will do you no good.
OF what use are friends? In pros
perity, man has no use for them; in
adversely. they have no use for him.
The man who says he is as good as
anybody, but who has not other au-
thority for the statement than his talk,
is always a bore.
Poor humanity: the mother does not
know half the time where the children
are, and they do not know where she
is the other half.
The selfish man plants only potatoes,
for he can enjoy the fruits of his labor,
but the truly generous man plants
trees for future generations.
There is always something about a
stage villain to denote that he is a
wicked man, but, as a matter of fact,
sheep killing dog does not put out
sign.
A favorfte topic of conversation in
every family is the mistakes father
made in his youth, "or we might be
rich now" No mention of the mis-
takes of other members of the family.
Nearly every man who doctors
makes the diseases of women spe-
cialty: we are therefore glad that a
woman doctor is coming to Atchison
who will make the diseases of men
speciality.
You no doubt often abuse the mer-
chant who makes a slovenly street dis
play; but what sort of a street display
do you make7 Do you not often ap-
pear on the street in slovenly attire,
and with dirty finger nails and teeth
Sometimes things get twisted. An
Atchison woman works hard attend
ing to her house and taking care of
her children. She seldom sees the in
side of q church, but her husband de-
votes all his energy to doing church
work.
Every time you repeat a story on
your neighbor, you assist some mean
man in doing a mean action. The
mean man would be poweriess to do
harm with gossip but for the assist
ance of careless people who repeat his
story without thinking OF the wrong
they may do.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
Mail from the kaiser.

When away from Germany on a
cruise like his last in the Mediterra-
mean his majesty has weakness for
sending postcards, generally reproduc-
tons OF snapshots taken by himself,
to his friends
Sometimes he will keep a photo
graph of this kind for several months
or even years, before dispatching it,
and when the incident photographed
is almost forgotten some lady or gen
ueman is reminded CT it by postcard
from the imperial household.
AS all his majesty's mails are sent
under cover marked matter OF the
highest Importance" and are deliv-
cred at whatever hour of the day or
night the whim to send them comes
to him, some curious incidents have
occurred.
Quite recently several people have
been awakened in the dead of night
to receive q letter marked matter of
the highest Importance" which ON
being opened was found to contain a
funny picture postcard sent by the
kaiser.-Chicago Inter-Ocean.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
ED HowE's VIEW.

w. r Stubs has had himself inter
viewed in Topeka to promote ridicu-
lous and vicious story. 1t is that
Henry Allen and State Treasurer Kelly
have formed combination in the Sec
ond congressional district, which has
for its purpose the election of Allen to
congress to succeed Bowersock. Stubs
realizes that Kelly is a dead one, and
his idea probably is that he can kill
Allen off by circulating the above
story. Aliens offense is that he was a
Bailey man, and that he is a power in
the Second district. The reading be-
tween the lines of the interview is that
Stubs himself is a candidate for con-
gress in the Second district. Stubs
by the way, didn't discover until a
week ago that Tom Kelly isn't proper
man for state treasurer OF course
Stubs is also having himself talked of
for a cabinet position, United States
senator. and is probably considering
everything else from president to the
orwegian throne.-Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
KANSAS corn.

We are accustomed to thinking of
Kansas as wheat state And so it is
the greatest wheat state in the
union. When Kansas produces a nor
NAL crop of wheat it is far ahead
either of Minnesota, the two Dakotas,
or any other wheat state.
But Kansas is not primarily wheat
state. Corn is king in Kansas. In
acreage, yield and value corn is far
in excess of wheat. Kansas is one of
the great corn states of the country.
The corn belt of the world extends
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

Somebody has started the story that
Tom Kelly has formed an alliance with
Henry Allen to elect Allen to congress.
incidentally Mr.. Walter Roscoe Stubs
is lending as much color as possible to
the story. But you will notice that Mr..
Allen keeps on pounding on Kelly and
insisting that he be punished for his
crimes just the same as he did when
Stubbs and Kelly were sitting up nights
together plotting how to beat Allen out
of the congressional nomination last
year 80
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
A Maine state Cat.

While Bowdoinham cats have ever
manifested most discerning judgment
the latest feline to attract the envious
admiration of his comrades is Rodney
of the waters" whose remarkable
swimming exploits have won him this
we'll deserved title. A patient watcher
from the floating wharf which he fire.
quents with praiseworthy persistency,
this businesslike swimmer waits his
opportunity and when there comes a
certain ripple on the water in he dives,
soon reappearing with good sized
fish, which he proceeds to eat at his
Dissatisfaction (Me.) Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
A VERY coon REAsoN.

I do not talk about the bore
OF going som ewhere out of town.
Nor tastes of those who do deplore
Nor at their simple folly frown.
I know that country places lack
The ease and joy that here abound
But I'd be glad enough to pack
And seek some rural camping ground.
I do not brag about the breeze
That cools our fair Chicago or;
Our parks and concert gardens, these
mention not with bitter scon-
About the food that here we get
In summer time do not blow.
The country's not SO much and yet
1 would be glad enough to go.
For here in town do not stay
Because the country has no charm.
I know they have a elipShod way
OF running things about the farm,
But, after all, / know the mere
Discomforts would not make me stay.
For one good reason I am here
I've not the price to get away.
Chicago Newa.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR
LFron the New York Press.1

u
About the warmest work in hot
weather is to try and keep cool
A girls figure is pretty nearly always
where the dressmaker puts it.
Wives have an awful lot of comfort
imagining they trust their husbands.
Sometimes woman will do a thing
YOU want her to If she doesn't know
you do.
A woman thinks she is dressed IN the
inverse ratio of her clothes to the rib
bons she runs in them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

The more one knows about it the
more apparent it becomes that Tom
Kelly deliberately raised more than
half million dollars more state taxes
than were necessary two years ago.
and it is now evident that he did it to
loan to his friend Deviin, An addi-
tionaI point on this matter is brought
out by the Salina Journal in the fol-
lowing: 1.-TWO years ago when the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

When Governor Bailey was insisting
that the legislature of 1908 pass a state
depository law. and when the house of
representatives did pass such a bill
which was killed by Tom Kelly's senate
at that time it never occurred to Mr.
Stubs that the funds of the state in
the banks were worth two or three
thousand dollars month to some
hndnr y
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

Governor Hoch." comments the Sail
ma Journal, says he would rather take
to the woods than to go to Camden. N.
J.. for the launching of the battleship
Kansas. Unfortunately, however, Cow
ernor Hoch cannot always do as he did
in the Kelly matter"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
MIGHT HAVE DONE GOOD.

And now even Stubs has turned on
Kelly as lone of the Kelly-BurtnIl-
Mulvane crowd who regard public
office as private graft" Roscoe goes
after the bunch pretty warmly, though
a little late. A similar talk last Oc-
tober, when he was boosting this
crowd, might have kept a thief out of
office.-Concordia Blade.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
Full T. LEASED WIRE REPORT
OBJ THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.
HolAE NEWS WHILE AWAY.

Subs crfbers OF the State Journal
away during the summer may haN e
the paper mailed regularly each day
to any address at the rate of thirty
cents a month. Address changed as
often as desired. While cat OF town
the State Journal will be 10 you like
q daily letter from home.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
THE EXPECTED HAPPENs.

Now that there is a possibility of
the state recovering part of the money
it has tied up in the Topeka bank,
there are a few newspapers which are
insisting that the Kelly incident be
closed. Even If the state secures
every cent of the money, that fact will
not exonerate Kelly. Kelly exposed
these funds to danger and how many
cents on the dollar the bank may pay
out is only incidental in his case
LeavenWorth Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
THE DIFFERENCE.

You may say what you please, but
big transaction is different from a
little one. When a man fails for IS, 600
or $40, 600 the first thing he thinks
about is getting a Job at some hard
work. to support himself and family.
But the first necessity of the bankrupt
whose liabilities go up into the mil
lions, is long. restfu1 trip abroad
Ottawa Republic.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
THE LID AT LAWRENCE.

The World believes that there ought
to be united effort in favor of the
enforcement of the prohibitory law.
Unquestionably Lawrence has not been
so wide open since the day of John
Walruff. Can nothing be done2 Must
the law abiding citizens of this town
stand around and see the law violated
every minute of the day? 1t is time to
take our bearings. The students are
coming back. Shall the joints be the
first to welcome them Lawrence
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
KANSAS COAMENT


If Chauncey Depew was able to en-
joy 100000 retainer fee in one COM
pany, would not his record in the
other sixty eight corporations make in
teresting reading ?-Chanute Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
d.

Governor Hoch said in his Dodge
City speech that he is going right
ahead and do his whole duty and en-
force the laws. whether he is renomi-
mated or not If the governor does
that there will be no trouble about his
Observation-Disclosures Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

You will notice that M. Witte did
not think it necessary to bring any
eighty trunks with him. He doesn't
expect to have to carry home any
Indemnity
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

There is this difference: The Ameri-
can navy is just getting well started;
the Russian navy has just been well
stOuDef
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

A mastodon's skeleton has been un-
earthed in Rawlins county, but it
doesn't begin TO compare in size with
the skeletons that are hidden away in
the state treasury closet.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

Senator Tillman is quoted as saying,
"a saloon looks like hades to me- but
people who know Senator TiIlman know
that isn't what he said.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

The Garden City Imprint is perfectly
willing to have its record on the Kelly
matter looked up in the files of the
State Historical society. 1t opposed
Kelly during both of the last two cam
DaieOS
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

IF you do not like a law" says the
Clyde Voice, follow the example of
Ed Hoch and Tom Kelly: Pay no at
tention to it,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
THE SIDE TRACK.

If it be really true that the czar de-
sires to abdicate, likewise to retire from
Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

The government proposes to swat
the mosquito. 1t is to be hoped that
the government will be more success
full than some of the rest of us have
haa,,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
AWAY FROM HOME.

Mr.. Folk took drink when he
came to Kansas and Mr.. Jerome
smoked igarettes-another evidence
of the truth of the theory that the
boys incline to recklessness when they
get out from home infiuences.-Ottawa
Herald. y
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

st. Louis is likely to find little com
fort in the fact that Governor Folk took
a drink in Kansas, so long as he insists
on keeping the lid on in st. Louis on
SUNDAY
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
FROM OTHER PENS
WHY?

Why will man waste his time work
ing for living when the New York
millionaires are SO asy?-Chicago
News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
AMIJSEMENT.

A Chicago paper asks: Are we
amusement mad?'' No; but we're some
times disguised when we don't get value
received for the money we pay out for
amusement.- Buffalo Express
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

Perhaps Statistician Hyde made
that announcement about the car
buncle on his neck SO that Uncle Sam
would not grasp him by the nap of the
neck and bring him to time
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

THE last hope of Populism has been
blasted. Kansas farmers are suffering
from the gout,'' says the Washington
Post. STILL we Kansas farmers will try
to endure our suffering with becoming
fortif11de
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

Senator Depew intimates that he
won't resign from the United States
senate or anything else. In other
words. Chauncey is a clingstone peach.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

And now the medical experts are
blaming the female mosquito for all the
trouble. Which shows that some of the
old Adam still exists in some men
folks.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
HIs COsTUME.

Notice Baron Komura wore on arriv-
ing a froclr coat and derby hat. This
must have been an awful shock to the
New York 400. Those who know the
baron, however, believe he will shift
to sweater and hip boots when the talk
ing begins.-Brooklyn Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

The chigger is bad enough, but even
his worst enemies never accused him
of being responsible for yellow fever or
malaria.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

'I think you ought to cut down that
tree, Sambo, but my wife thinks it had
better be allowed to stand" said the
owner of country place to his gard
ener.
"Wella I think it ought ter come
down, Massa Brown" was the garden
er's reply.
What are your reasons for thinking
SO, Sambo ~
'tWeIl, sab, de first reason am dat de
tree done keep de light often de green
house; de secon' reason am dat it's
gettin' old, an de third reason am dat
1 cut it down last hight. Farm and
Fireside.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

Borem-Well, I've got a right to air my
opinions, haven't I?
Knox-OI of course; they're so stale and
musty they certainly need something OF
that sort.-Philadelphia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

People are even afraid to telephone
to New Orleans now for fear the germs
will come over the wires.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
A SIRE THING

The lola officials have finally run
down Melvin, the crazy joint wrecker.
If the lola officials were half as in
dustrious in trying to capture the
jointists men like Melvin would be out
of usiness.-Concordia Blade.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

Perhaps he's on his vacation. At any
rate we haven't heard a word from the
Akiind of Swat this Summarizes Aoines
Daily News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
cAN,r RuY THAT.

Rockefeller has just cleared 100000
600 on fiaxseed. Yet it is claimed that
he is pining for sympathy.-Chicago
Record-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

"O1d Hunks is too mean to live"
20, don't know. If he thought he could
spite more people by dying ned die."-Chi-
cago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
TREsPASSERS.
COMING AND GOING.

1t seems that the patron of certain
society publications has two shows"
for his money. He is permitted to pay
for the insertion of his name or its ex-
oiusion.-Duluth News-Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

81 tell you,'' the landlord was saying, 1T
takes good deal of skill and management
to run a hotel. A man has got to know
how to put two and two together
''Well. you can do that all right" said
the guest. In convention times I've
known you to put two and two together
in a room just big enough for one
Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

'"They say that sneaky-looking man
across from US is two-faced!" whispered
the first boarder.
''Wcll. hope he is, for his SAKE" said
No 2. generously.
''It would be too bad to be reduced to
the one he has on, wouldn't H?"-Detroit
Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

Yes" said slopay, 1.-THE suit fits me
splendidly. Great piece of work; it's a
credit to YOU"
Yes" replied the tailor, land please
don't forget that it's a debt to you
Philadelphia Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
ExTRAoRpINARY TIMES.

We have had an extraordinary session
of the legislature, and we are to have
an extraordinary session of congress
Several plenipotentiaries extraordinary
are now hurrying here from Russia and
Japan. Altogether, therefore, these
seem to be rather extraordinary times
we are haying.-New York Mail.
THE OTHER FELLOWS.
Well, what about the people who hold
their buckets under the crop report
leaks? Anything to be done with them =?
Philadelphia Inquirer.
TEST OF ABILITY.
The fact that Mr.. George ]. Gould is
making poultry raising pay demonstrates
that he is the greatest living f1nancier
in all the Americas.-Mexican Herald.
o
NOT TO BE HOPED FOR.
What will you bet that all the in
dicted packers will be convicted?-
Dallas News
TRESPASSERS.
The reckless autoist is still under the
impression that the streets are his to
own and control, and all others who at
tempt to use them espassers.-Duluth
News-Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

Are they rich DeoDle?"
"They must be. Each member of tn,
family has an automobile, and the cool
goes to early church On a motorcycle
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

De Chappie-If there's any one nuisance
hate more than another, it's a fellow
who is always going around introducing
people. There's Goodhart, for instance.
Bouttown-what's he been doing? .ae
De Chappie-The idiot The other day
he introduced me to a man owed money
to, and I'd been owing it so long he'd for
gotten all about me. Now I'll have to
pay up or be sued.-Tit-Bits.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

He-Youn excuse me for picking up
your gar
she-CertaiB'y; don't mention it.-Lfe
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

The CannibaI King-Take that mission
airy away.
Chef-What's the trouble, sir?
The c. k.-He'S MISUNDERSTANDING
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

Some children are very tiresome when
they recite''
Yes" answered the proud father, but
we avoid that: We laugh Reginald to re.
and 'Hamlets Soliloquy,' so that he can
appeal to all tastes. "-Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
HUMOR OF THE DAY

''Of course" said Prof. skolier.. the
generic term man includes woman"
Usually, but not always" replied Mar
ryatt-
'.Oi yes. invariably"
the line Man wants but little here be-
low Catholic Standard and Times.
Father-You ought to be ashamed of
yourself, Dick. You are now in your 18TH
year and you haven't earned q penny yet.
man with 10000 pounds.-London World.
Milkman-It amt true, maj am that we
always put chalk in our milk
Mrs. Hcusekeep-Do you mean to say
you never do it?
an-Well-er-never, except after
heavy rain, when the water gets muddy
and Observation-Disclosures Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11

Silly Girl-Do you like Miss Sharpun?
No; she's dreadfully stupid, y know
Stupid? What makes you think so?''
THE other night when was calling on
her, she exclaimed: Why must you be
going soon? And 1 give you me word
1 hadn't mentioned such a thing."-CIeve-
land Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
He Dennurred.

A well-known English surgeon was
irnparting some clinical instructions to
half a dozen students. according to the
Medical Age" Pausing at the bedside
of a doubtful case, he said, Now, gen.
tlernen, do you think this is or is not
case for operation?"
One by one each student made his
diagnosis. and all of them answered in
the negative.
"Well, gentlemen, you are all wrong"
said the wielder of the scalpel; II shall
operate tomorrow"
mo, you won't" said the patient, as
he arose in his bed. six to one is a
good ma ority. Gimme my clothes
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-11
Three Years on for Heat.

James n. Pou, of counsel for Ray
mond D. BynuTn, of Raleigh, who Mon
day was sentenced to fifteen years in
the penitentiary for numbering his ven
cradle partner, J. H. Afford, in their
printing office, went to see the Judge
and said:
II hope these exceedingly hot days
and sitting nights have suggested to
you what fifteen years of Imprisonment
means for this man, and ask you to
reduce his SENTENCE
Judge Allen replied: Last night this
very thought came to me. I reduce the
sentence by taking off three years.
Raleigh IN. c. correspondence in Balti-
more Sun.