The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1905-01-14
Mays New Year
Message TO John

nun Idea. This was most unfortu-
nate for John, but he, with no pre-
monition of impending disaster, slept,
in the same early dawn, the sleep of
the man whose best girl lives in the
suburbs and who doesn't reach his
downy couch until 2 a. m.
But John was not to be kept in hap.
Ply ignorance long, for a message was
even then on it's way to the boarding
house in which he dwelt in the inter-
walls of time that he was not either, at
lAary's house or on the cars travelling
there and back. Presently the front,
door bell changed through the house
and a few moments later John was
reused from sweet dreams to be in
formed that he was wanted at the
nearest pay station to receive long
distance message.
A long distance message! AS he
tunbled out of bed in the chill early
morning and hastily got into a few
clothes John reviewed in his mind
every long distance relative he owned
and each long distance investment he
had made, prepared to learn of the
death of all the former and of the to-
tai collapse of each of the latter 49,
At last, when shivering with appre-
hension as well as with cold, he reach
ed the pay station and sent trem-
bling 'Hello!" through the phone, he
was lef ced to wait in an agony of sus-
pense throughout the usual prefaceaof
'I1old the Wire,'' Got your party?"
"All right, 740 River" his apprehension
increasing with each moment of delay.
Finally, after the suspense had grown
almost intolerable, a faint feminine
voice responded to his hellos.
The vocabulary of the party with the
faint feminine voice seemed to be linn
tied to the one word, "Hello!" and 1T
was not until Johns patience was. al
most exhausted that she could be in
duced to vary her conversation some
what. Then at last he recognized the
voice as Mary's. Immediately he de-
manded in agitated tones what the
matter was.
letter." said Mary. 81 didn't get
any letter. Did you write to me after
you got home last night?"
AT 2 o'clock" roared John. "Well
I guess not. I said MATTER What
is--the-matter? What brings you
out so early in the morning."
I'm not out" laughed Mary Didn't
you know we had had a telephone put
in the house? It's right outside my
QOOT. 1t SO convenient.
Convenient" growled John, his
alarm giving way to rage.
Yes Mary prattled on; Il can call
you up any time MONDAY or night"
What delightful prospect"
isn't it? And" Mary's voice was
suddenly cut off by babel of s'cen-
trails" and John was about to hang
up the receiver in disgust when it oc-
CURED to, him that possibly Mary did
IL,
SO he waited until the line cleared and
again said Hello"
Hello" answered Mary.
"Oh, he'll
why, Johni'
"Lo, I mean But, Mary, for heavens
sake, say what you've got to say and
let me get back to bed!"
why, John, you sound real cross"
That's strange, too. Getting man
him wade through half a mile of snow
drifts is so conducive to angelic amia-
bility''
And now you're sarcastic! IL
think you're perfectly horrid!"
Did you call me up to tell me that
If SO, you sould have done it cheaper
by mall" said John coldly. Even the
three distinct sobs that the receiver
conveyed to him did not soften his
heart. He merely calculated that each
of those sobs was probably costing his
future father-in-law quarter.
well, Mary, if you really haven't
anything to say John was preparing
at last to hang up the receiver. when
Mary's voice again struggled through
her Sobs:
"B-but have!"
~..Then for heavens sake say it!''
ct was only that-you're a mean
ungratefuI tting-it was only that
| wanted to wish you a h-happy New
Year, but won't do it now. thought
you'd be so pleased to know I had
thought of you the first thing in the
morning. And now III never
Hello! Through TAO River?" called
central.
YES" said John emphatically.