Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-06-10
HIS SUMNER PLANS

Tn beginning to believe that I'm q
cheap man. observed the tat, frank indi-
vidual with the wilted collar in the rear
seat of the open car. Or. If I'm not exactly
cheap man. then I'm sure a phony, a
plus bogus, an imitation of the kind of mer-
chandise that's wrapped In the gilt foil.
I'm tell you why think so:
I've developed into confirmed summer
resprt-booklet maniac. II there are not at
least 705 propretors of $12-a-minute sum-
mer hotels hourly expecting me to romp
along to their establishments, accompanied
by six children, eight nurses, two Wallets,
not to mention a wife and three Gallo
maids. then there isn't one; and that's no
pill phantasm.
MY SCI 50-per-month home is cluttered
from cellar to attic with summer resort
booklets, tied with pink and ecru ribbons,
and with obsequious, groveling letters from
hotel proprietors who've become possessed
pal down here in Washington of half the
millionaires who live and have their being
here when Congress is in session.
II began to send for their booklets along
toward the LIST of May. In requesting EN-
to send me along their booklets. dropped
them a few lines to the general effect that
thought of looking their establishments
over along about the 18th of June, in COM
pany with my family and servants, limiting
around that l thought couple of ground
floor suites ought to about do for US. ana
suggesting that If they couldn't come to any
understanding on basis. say. OF WOO a
week for the bunch of us. there'd be no use
in their getting into communication with
me at all.
II had a whole lot of fun in writing these
letters. and plenty more in reading their
replies. which is why Eve about reached
the conclusion that I'm a natural-born
cheap man. or something resembling the
same. 1t makes me feel like all kinds of
puff-toad to have them come back at me
with the reply that about the only way
they fix me out with my family and
outfit at their plant will be to turn out
few members of the Astorbilt and other
families that have already arranged to
board along with them for spell; and
when one of them informs me that the
orange suite at present occupied by the
Jock of Sans-Mud and party will just about
be vacant on the date named l naturally
swell up like a bull pup on corn-bread
diet, and l keep right en- feeling like all the
money, until my wife asks me when I'm
going to have my last summers Oxford ties
half-seled
Yesterday l wrote to one of them. who
abiectly offers to take me and mine at his
Narragansett establishment for $1,000 a
week, asking him what kind of an orches-
ira he's got in his dining room. and telling
him that am exceedingly particular as to
the brand of music furnished me while
ate I'm expecting him to wire me back
word that he's engaged Walter Damroschs
orchestra just for my especial benefit,
whichll give me an opportunity to execute
a renege by writing him that I'm an en-
thusiast over the Italian school of opera.
"Along toward the first of August when
my annual leave begins. I'll be hiking the
wife over to some little Atlantic City or
Asbury Park plant, where they'll fix us out
for about SIS or $40 week for the pair of
US, and We'll have more fun out of that
than a barrelful of simians, too but this
dreaming along with the booklets and the
hotel proprietors letters fills in the interval
in great shape. l sure am a cheap man,
right. and the nearest I'll ever get to "A
ground-foor suite I've had already at no
greater expenditure than the price of
two-cent stamp. But what's the use of
waking up till the gong rings?'