Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1905-08-05
Humorous

II? I've cut a great deal tougher meat
than this at home
Doctor-Ah! out for constitution
al? She-Yes; | walk two miles be-
fore breakfast every morning for my
complexion. Doctor-Is the drug store
SO far as that?--Exchange.
Mr.. A. Chromo?-Mrs. Newriche-|
And who is this by? Picture Dealer
That is chrome, madam. Mrs.
Newriche- yes, of course it is.
Now that you mention 1t, l recognize
his style.
SoftIeigh-When I-aw--awsked her
foh her hand in mawriage her bwutal
father thweatened to-aw-bwain me,
doncher know. Miss Cutting-That's
lust like her father. lie always was
fond of a joke.-Chicago Daily News.
Usual Invitation-A lady was asked
by another where she and her hus-
band had taken up their abode. "Oh,"
she replied, I'VE are living by the
canal at present We should be de-
lighted if you would drop in some even
ing"
A Proper Study.-Wall Street-So
your son is studying law. DO you ex-
pect that he will stick to it? Specu-
lator-Oh, no; just want him to know
enough about it so that he will be able
to evade it cessfully.-Detroit Free
/ Press.
A Fight in It.-"As Shakespeare
says" remarked Cassidy, who was
fond of airing his book larnin'" oc-
casionally, whats in a name"
We'll" replied Casey, call me wan
that OF don't like an OH show ye."-
Philadelphia Press.
Bearitt-Things were awfully dull
on Change to-day. Absolutely moth
ing doing in stocks. The buyers and
sellers failed to get together. Mrs.
Bearitt-Why don't you mark some OF
the stock down and advertise a bar
gain sale?-Chicago News.
"Maude graduated from your cook
ing school last spring, didn't she"
graduate course this fall" Then she's
really going back to the schoolY "Oh,
no; she's to be married to a poor young
man. Catholic Standard-Times.
A Real Curiosity.-That is a curious
looking cane, major" said the visitor.
"A memento of the war of the rebel
lion l supposeP Eyes, a Christmas
present" replied the old veteran. at
was made from the hollow log | occu-
pied at the famous battle of Bull
Run"
Lyles-Did you ever come across q
more conceited fellow than Bulger?
They say he is an atheist; and l be-
liege he Is. Bonter-I wouldn't like
to go so far as that; but l do know
that he doesn't recognize the exist
ence of superior being.-Town and
Country.
The Strange Hen-You'd hardly be-
lieve it. ladies, but in that part OF
the country from which l came in
cubators are unknown. The Modern
Hen-Goodness gracious! l suppose
the simple-minded folk out that way
still believe that hens sphere is her
nest.-Town Topics.
Directions for Use.-The inventor of
new feeding bottle for infants sent
out the following among his direc-
tons for using: when the baby Is
done drinking 1t must be unscrewed
and laid in a cool place under the
hydrant. If the baby does not thrive
on fresh milk 1t should be boiled"
Deacon Good-Don't you think II
cruel for you to draw a fish out of his
native element by sharp iron hook
Fisher Boy-It's no fault of mine.
When I'm just giving a worm a salt
water bath, what does fish want to
hook himself onto my line for? It's
no business of his.-BostOn Transcript.
Honest Policy.-An Irishman some
years ago entered Mr.. Hanna's Office,
took off his hat politely and said: "The
top of the mornin' TO ye, Misther Han
ma. I've been told ye're wantin' o.
help" II have very little to do" re-
piled Mr.. Hanna, with a quiet smile Of
/ humor. Then" said the Irishman,
I'm the boy for yez. It's little | care
about doin', sure; it's the money I'm
after"
Explanatory Rheumatism.-Marth
/ the colored washerwoman, was com
planning Of her husbands health to
one of her patrons. Hes ve'y poly,
maam; ve'y poly. He's got dat ex-
clamatory rheumatism" you mean
infiammatory, Martha. Explanatory
is from exclaim, which means to cry
out" ayes, miss" answered Martha,
with conviction, "dat's what 1t is. He
boilers all de time"
At a public school one of the boys
/ In n class had committed sorna ,,y.o ~