The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-09-21
COMMENTS ON MEN AND
 MATTERS OF THE WORLD

Thomas r. Ryan has q private chaplain. who will presumably be paid a salary large enough 10 keep him comfortably without ministering to less wealthy par ishioners. Gradually, our financial lords are drifting back to the customs of their feudal predecessors In course of time we may expect to Zee our magnRtes en- toying privileges and powers to make the old-time nobleman with his handful of retainers look like a village constable way dewn east.
 These indeed be the autumn days, sad dest of the year, for yesterday marked the last baseball game of the season in Birmingham. Fans journeyed out to bid reverent farewell to the spot round which their heart tendrils gently twine. They took a lingering. parting look at the diamond at West End park. at grim Mount Slag and the Coal Barons." It is Indeed dismal month they must face be- fore they become resigned to their loss and seek consolation, partial though 1t be. in the slaughter of the gridiron. Base ball has passed from Birmingham, for the season of 1905, and it leaves sorrow in passing.
 WHEN DISCOVERED. Though he works quite hard at grating Carting off the peoples goods He Is apt to leave an opening
 So he can take to the woods.
 It must have taken lot of Sapolio to clean up Seoul for Miss Alice Roosevelts visit.
 In the midst of his dissertations on tenn perance and the evils of being good fellow, MT. Rockefeller did not forget to put up the price of Standard Oil.
 Graft has been discovered In the Japa- nese navy. That's what Japan gets for being so chummy with the United States. ''Will insurance companies become hon. est?' asks Golfers Weekly. That's a hard one.
 Those who are in a position to know say that the pearl grey derby Is here to stay-but not in Birmingham. It would be taking a mean advantage of any pearl grey derby to expose 1t to the smoke deposits of Birmingham's manufacturing industries. White shoes have hard time here, but pearl grey derbies would be put out of business with painful abrupt ness.
 A magazine is authority for the state ment that the present "bifurcate system of western Europe"--referring to the cus- tom of wearing trousers--is but a pass ing fashion in the history of male at tire" That may or may not be. Trousers are comparatively young, and they may be destined for future obliteration. The very possibility Is enough to inspire us with hope. It will be happy day when trousers-niost awkward. unsightly and troublesome of garments-take their de- parture. It is great pity that men can't wear bathing suits all the time.
 THE ONLY WAY. Love in cottage will do very well,
 Fen though the cottage be hired, If there's a mansion that's not far away Where Love can move when he's tired lady dwelling in Minneapolis hid $500 In her hustle and then lost the hustle. It Is a difficult and delicate matter to of- fer advice in such a case. While bank notes in bustles should most assuredly be safe from sneak thieves, the other hand, persons using bustles for savings banks should make sure that they don't lose sight of the bustles.
 ALAS!
 Slowly dying. he lay panting,
 Sorry he was ever born,
 Though the chauffeur footed loudly
 When too late he heard the horn.
 PAUL COOK.