Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1905-06-14
Lessons In
Self Reliance



70 a man for support. Tint man came
along in the person of Dudley Dean, a
strong willed fellow. thoroughly able
TO take care of himself and another.
When we net | was twenty. he thlr-
ty-two. My plant nature seemed to
be just the complement for his strong
Individuality. | found it delicious to
have some one to make up my mind
Tor me, and he delighted in taking the
responsibility upon himself. One moon
light night in spring, when the air was
fragrant with the odor of blossoms,
sank into his arms and promised to be
his wife
The next morning he said he wanted
TO have Il serious talk with me. Life
was serious matter, and marriage the
most serious part of life. That pliancy
which had been so attractive to him.
once we were married, might prove
detrimental. A husband cannot al
ways be turning aside to make deci-
sicns for his wife. During our en-
gagement he would endeavor to lead
me TO the cultivation of self reliance.
This sounded well. and | chimed In
with his wishes. One of the first les.
sons he gave me was this: He had en-
gagged to take me to concert one even,
ing, and while I was waiting for him
messenger came with q note and two
tickets 10 the concert. The note in
formed me that he had suddenly been
called away on business, and | must
rely on myself to secure an escort
Somehow | didn't like the lesson
bit. John Curtis, an old beau of mine
whom had rejected because thought
he was too easy going. lived near. and
| wrote him note asking If he would
be my escort. He gladly complied, and
we passed a very pleasant evening to-
gether.
When Dudley returned and found how
I had got over the bridge he had built
for me, he was not especially gratified.
| told him that | was but weak wom-
an and had done the best could.
The next lesson was in this wise:
asked Dudley II he would prefer that
forego my summer outing to be with
hlm--he would take no yacation-or go,
as had been my custom, for month to
the seashore. was ready to give up
my outing and only wished to have him
intimate that he would like me to re
main with him. He told me coldly that
girl who could not make up her own
mind In such a small matter would
never be able to make 1t up in a larger
one This decided me. went to the
seashore. John Curtis, who did not
know OF my engagement, encouraged
by my having asked him to be my es-
cort to the concert, came down while I
was there. and we spent two weeks in
each others company, I confess very
pleasantly. / began TO realize that Dud-
legs lessons In self reliance We're not
pleasant Furthermore, 1t was becom-
ing apparent TO me that Johns vacillat-
ing manner was good deal on the sur
face lie had way of having his way,
appearing all the while to be too lazy
to make up his mind what he wanted.
John had not been at the seashore
ten days before Dudley heard of it and
wrote me either to leave the place or
require Curtis to leave or break our
engagement This made me angry, and
replied that he should either come and
finish my outing with me or permit me
to choose my own company or consider
himself released from his engagement.
This should have taught my fiance
that | had had practical instruction
enough in self reliance, at least for the
present, but by this time | had clashed
with his will, and he could no longer
be a disinterested teacher. He did not
reply 10 my letter, but waited till
went home Then he came TO see me.
| was in the kitchen at the time max
ing cake. | sent for him TO come right
out there.
ut seems" he said. that you have
taken me to be as weak character as
yourself. Having accepted me. you are
now vacillatlng between me aud a
former lover. | have called to say that
under no consideration will l permit
And under no consideration will |
permit retorted. with flashing eyes.
1t is plain that your makeup is OF
the most dangerous character-just the
kind to give a husband trouble. First
you vacillate between two lovers, and
when the man TO whom you have
plighted your troth objects obstinacy
comes in and
II wish you to understand" l inter
rupted, shat your tutoring in self re
lance is not agreeable to me, and l
will have no more of it."
II have never known any one" he
went on in his superior way, with a
weak will who would not when irri-
tated go to the other extreme"
"And / have never known any one, "
| replied, with an imperious will that
didn't want to dominate every one
else"
weakness and obstnacy, taken to-
gether''-
I had reached a point where endur-
ance was out of the question. l raised
- tn. how at ND