West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1905-05-11
And the Governor Take Turns in
GrieYins aud Rejoicing.
THEY HAVE LOST OLDEST PIEMAE
IN West Virginia-Was a Frequent
Visitor to Preston-Flynn and
Whetsell Have Been Re-
duced to The Ranks
And Bros. conlsy, Shaw and Montgom-
cry Placed IL Command Of
The Piewagon.

-S @ASH eBSAs
A serious problem confronis the
Governor and myself which has
thrown us into a dilemma and one
which we cannot see our way 20 get
out of. 1t is the pie question. The
supply of pies have been exhausted
and we just received notice this
morning from the manager of the
Piery that the piemakers have gone
on strike for union wages. They
have organized the Plemakers Union
and they demand more money than
we can pay for pies, since we have
to distribute the pies free among
the Piemen who are working under
our instructions TO keep the poor
people IN line ia support of our new
tax laws, which has done so much
for the poor and misguided people,
who are lead to believe by our ene-
mics that we were the sole cause Of
their ancestors having TO organize
the Boston Tea Party to free them
selves from taxation.
This is one of the causes, and
only one, (the shortage of pies),
which compelled the Governor and
myself to eliminate Senator Stark
Baker and Col. Chas. Teeter from
the list of pIemen. The true secret
OF the elimination of Senator Baker
and Col. Teeter will never be known
until write it, as the secret is
known to no one but Gov. Dawson
and myself. In fact we are the
eliminators. | make this statement
public at the present time that other
piemen may take warning. They
must not tread on our trolly wire
while we have charge of the button.
We may push it any moment. We
know ii is good thing and we keep
pushing it along
Owing to the shortage of pies we
are compelled TO slice them. We
sliced the Assistant District Attorney
and gave one piece to Pieman I. C..
Herndon and the other to Pieman
Delmonico Runnell. Senator Col
cord, John Jarrett and George Nc.
Clintick entered a vigorous protest
against the slcing Of the pie, but
their protest avaIled them nothing,
as we are handling the stIletto and
slicing the pies to suit the exigencies
Bro. Elliott Norlhcott, ., who gagged
at the internal revenue pie, has
swallowed the United States District
Attorney pie and is resting easy.
Drs. Elkins and Scott have given
out the statement that there is no
danger of any complications setting
in that will cause Bro. Northcott to
cough up the district attorney pic.
This good news caused the Cover
nor and myself to attend divine
worship last night and take comfort
able seats IN the amen corner where
the brethren and sisters could OBJ.
serve us dropping our coin in the
contribution box as one of the dea.
cons passed it around. The Cover.
nor and | figure that such contrlbu.
tions will return like bread cast up.
on the water and increase our popu.
larity ten fold at the next election.
We leave nothing undone to keep
ourselves before the public and ad.
vertse our new tax laws.
There is vacancy and a VOID in
Charleston that cannot be filed.
The oldest pieman IN West Virginia
has left us and gone to Washington
where he has been granted a per.
manent pie for the balance Of his
days. alude to Bro. Geo. Wesley
Atkinson. Many Of the grandfather,
and grandmothers will remember
him. Bro. Wesley antedates Gov
Dawson and myself as a pieman.
lie has subsisted on pie exclusively
for the past fifty years. My frs
recollection Of meeting Bro. Akin.
son was when he came to Preston
to lead the Blue Ribbon Crusade.
lie was young and handsome in
those days. HIS frey eloquenct
inhamed the people to pitch equa
TO Tom Lawson's frenzied fnanc,
on Wall street He exhorted IN,
people to banish the demon from
their midst. Before he left IN,
county he had us all wearing blu,
ribbons. / have always believed
that II Deacon Brown and JEFF Lip
scomb could have heard Bro. Wesle,
in those days that there would be