New-York tribune., 1905-07-13
THE IOKER,s FATE.

Who safe him down to
From out his brain funny twist
Or two to tickle folks
In short, to write some jokes.
The day was very warm-"Gee whiz"'
Said he, What shall do?
I'll roast the iend who asks you, is
II hot enough for you?
l wonder If that's new?
He sighed and took another sheet
OF paper. and he wrote
ATT6 %So tiS aiwags sn rocks yIa ffs the boat fe'
CTwas old enough to voteO
He wrote about old shoes and rice
And Mrs. YOungbrde's breaks.
ABOUT the man VINO brings the Ice
In microscopic cakes,
And green fruit stomach-aches,
And people came and slew him there
Whose Jokes had made them ILL.,
And buried him with tender care
Gle lies at Chestnut HID
cleveland Leader.
The doctor of a regiment stationed in India re-
ceived letter from his tailor. inclosing a long
overdue account and concluding with a polite in
auiry after the debtors state of health. The saw
bones replied thus 81 have received your bypo-
critical letter. hoping that I in a good state of
health. Hear. then. what your chances of my hv-
ing long enough 10 be able to pay your bill are
attend assiduously every cholera case in the camp
and am making smallpox a special study. 1 swim
every morning in a lake swarmng with alligators
At recent attack hill fort I went with the
forlorn hope. and Cf the three who re-
turned unwounded Tomorrow morning I shall
60 unaecompanied and on foot into the jungle and
wait for the man eating tsress she returns at
dawn 20 her cave and cubs. If 1t be she who falls
/ shall spend my leave in the fever haunted Jungle
following up big game and If I survive that shall
cool myself after its heat by joining a party TO
ascend the peak OF Dhawalagir whose snow slopes
and glaciers stiff as your prices" The doc
tor eventually home in safety and the
taiors anxiety and his bill were both settled
He-I think every is entitled to be con-
she-Well II she is willing to bring herself down
to ss h ve s S a0 mis- see why fhs snSant be al
The recent scandal in regard to the British
army purchases in South Africa leads The Dun
dee Advertiser" to quote from Pepys to show that
men and things have not much changed In a
couple of centuries. II see it is impossible for
the King to have things done cheap as other
men," remarked Pepys after an official visit TO
woolwich Dockyard. The worthy secretary of the
Admiralty has left record of his own methods of
grating:
Going out OF Whitehall met Captain Grove, who
did give me letter directed to myself from him
self diseerned money in IT, and took 1t. Knowing
as l found it 20 be- the proceed OF the place
But did not open IL till came to my office, and
there l broke It & oRen not looking into it TIL all
money In the paper il ever I should be questioned
about II. There was a piece OF gold and four
pounds in silver
Canada's new Tariff Commission will probably
begin its first sittings in September or October
The commissioners win hold sttings 20 take evil
dence IN Ontario. and then In the maritime prov
inces after which they win go West. where i'm
portant interests in British Columbia especially
will occupy their attention While the commission
Of 1887 had free hand. the present commission, IL
Is understood win not make an absolutely new
tariff. but will modify the existing tariff In par
ticulars where such modification has become neces-
sary.
Have you ever been in railway accident
tasnes." Issssr.