davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1905-09-07
Rube Discusses
Z Magazines.

Mr.. Edutor:
Deer Sur:-A magazine is a
confederation of sights from love-
sick hearts, bound in by display
ads, and decorated by a printers
devil. Now, which is jest the
most interestin', the mush, the adj
vertisin' or the cover? [ haint
been able to figure it out yet. No
I haint.
I spose 1t all depends upon
whether a cuss has a good eye or
heart or stomak. I spose that's
the hull thing in an egg shell,
whether jay has got any he'd on
him or not. Now them magazine
people wood try and make the old
boy himself believe that they are
dom the hull thing jest for the
accommodation of the public.
The people have got to have sum.
thin to read, so the magazine
chaps deal it out to them like I
use to break pumpkins for our old
bald face COW. l have never seen
the inside of one of them maya
zine maxim houses, so l don't Jest
no how they mix the mush, but I've
got the impression that they must
use mighty komplicated machin-
cry when they kin stick a piece of
white paper in one end of a ma
chine and have it cum out love
story at the other end. That
proves what I have always sed
that love was like a good many
other things, it's machine made
and measured in dollars and cents.
Now, Mr.. Scribe, I've often
wandered what people buy maya
zines for enyhow. Yes I have.
Is it for the cover, the paper, the
pictures, the advertisin', we'll /
guess it's for the advertisin' alrite,
cause when you take the advertis-
in away, there's bout as much left
as there is, when three or four
fellers get through with piece Of
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1905-09-07
Tf1uldoon Or literature.
* *

lers an vegetayrians, all av thin
effervescin' wild thoughts av psy-
geological grandilyquince. Com
mincin' on the froont page we find
scientific prognostycations av war,
pace, an chemistry propounded in
the fowin' sthyle av lmerytus, the
bye artist. P.S. He is also a
fine poetiss. Promynint on the
mkt page are unpredjoodist eddy
toorals teemin' wild wisdom, wit,
an trooth. On the top fure av
the same page, F. Ms. ironical
sarcastic attacks on matrymony
an poog dawgs is the finest thin
I liver saw. Wis sor, thims me
sintymints, if 1 am half Frinch.
Fl. j. B. fills the rist av the page
wild Odds an Inds, comprisin'
railroads, etymology, an all kinds
av authintic facts.
Glancin' the eyebawl to the
right yez Encounters local noos an
,C. A. US. connoomdrums, sur
rounded be pertinint sayin's, fur
rim an domestic. Houldin' foorth
last but not Taste are I. B. A. Roob
an Bill Nye, Jr.; the foormer is
dool personality, famed fer his
knowledge av fairmin' an the tx
timperaneous grandilyquince av
his writin's under his other maid
en-name. Bill is fine bye an he
has fine Gzzyognomy. Shure, if
Evangyleen don't quare him tits
fine POLITICIAN he will be maxim.
Interspered amoong the rist we
how Bert, L. R. j., an a Teller wild
an automobile noomber; Their
spicialties are, wild geese, byehood
days an the Fillypeens respective
ly.
In conclusion I find that the
surroundings an invironmints av a
luxurious apartmint is not the
only place that brings foorth gins
av a literary mind. e. E. III,
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1905-09-07

fog pie. You no people are always
lookin' for bargins in the advertis-
in. Well / guess that's pretty
good habit. Yes tbs.
I see accordin' to yeller- recovered
book that gifts to me, that a gent
down East has invented smokin'
pipe made of glass SO that chap
kin smoke and at the same time
watch to see if there is eny mi
krobes in the smoke. [ think
that's a very good thing for a man
to put his ideas in, don't you?
Another thing, I'm gettln' so l
don't no nuthin' myself. There's
SO many different kind Of suspend
ers nowadays that I can't make
up my mind which is the best to
hang my pants on. There are so
many kind of razors that it's a
wunder the poor barber kin make
a livin'.
I see in one place they are harp
in bout rough on rats and in
another place it's rough on corns.
L haint got eny rats, but my corn
crop is mighty good, but gull
darn if I want enythin' that's
rough on them, cause they hurt
like blazes now, without bein'
hurted eny more. So they do.
Lovingly Yourns,
[. B. A. RUDE.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1905-09-07

poker tables we see a variety of
men hard to describe. 1t is a
game which interests persons in
every rank Of life. I observed
that when one player would go
"all in" another stood ready and
eager to try his luck.
Passing on our way we enter a
restaurant to satisfy the pangs of
hunger. We see American wait
ers and fancy we are patronizing a
place conducted by Americans.
After lunch we enter the kitchen.
The kitchen force are Chinese. It
is a Chinese restaurant, as the ma
jority are. At peephole sits
Hip Lung, the proprietor, keep
ing cases on what is transporting
IN the diningroom.
Leaving here we wend our way
farther down Main Street and ar
rive at the Miners Magnet a
dance hall. However, all things
end, and Deadwood has lately
been subjected to reform. [ am
writing of a night several years
ago. So if you wish to find a
lively mining camp, go to Nome.
E. d.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1905-09-07
PROPONENTS
>BY BILL NYE, JR.>

the dove of peace which has
been lowering around in the vicin-
1ty of Portsmouth of late, came out
of the whirlwind alive after all,
and with proper care will live.
A new bug has made it's appear
ance. It is claimed that, when
stung by his bugship the victim
relapses into an indefinite slum-
Der. We suggest that it be named
the humbug.
The prominence which Milwau-
kee has enjoyed for these many
years by it's vast beer industries,
must at last give way to the no.
toriety it is at present receiving as
a hotbed of municipal grating.
The latest fad in advertising is
to send up brilliantly illuminated
balloons from the roofs Of tall
sky-scrapers in the large eastern
cities. Such advertising methods
must come high.
$$S
The 900" in Central Park, New
York City, contains chimpanzee
that eats his meals with the use
of a knife and fork, sleeps in
bed, smokes cigarettes, enjoys his
"schnaps," etc. He may, per-
chance, become writer of fiction
as a last resort.
According to the assessment
man there is but one lonesome
yaller purp in this big, broad city
of Saltwater. Goodness gracious,
Agnes, can the canine referred to
belong to our local florist? Evi-
IDENTIFY it is the cause of that two
.by-four smile Sinbad exhibits in
making official rounds.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1905-09-07
Why Not?

The theory advanced by DR..
Osler has become a much-dis-
cussed topic by the reading public
at large, and he has received much
free advertising in return for his
chloroformism ideas. Personally,
our amount of knowledge on that
particular subject is very limited,
and we are not in position to
either approve of or refute the
method propounded by the learned
doctor; but instead of cutting short
the lives Of men at the age sug-
gested by him, why could not his
proposed doctrine, from a humane
point of view, be applied to those
unfortunates manned by accident,
where there does not remain the
slightest hope of saving life, whose
torture in their last few moments
Of earthly existence is almost un-
endurable, and who are piteously
praying for that comforting agent,
death, to relieve them of their un-
told misery; also to those afflicted
with that dread disease, leprosy,
whose victims are patiently look
ing forward to that day when their
sufferings may cease? In our
humble opinion, we will not hest
tate in approving of DR.. Osler's
death-producing ideas, could they
be applied to such, and similar
cases as mentioned above.
1925.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1905-09-07
Answer to Problem.

Editor, The MIRROR: an
swer to the problem presented by
@. A. Y. under "Wise and Other
WISE" please publish the following:
Horses. 5 q $1,000. $4,000
Cows. 10 800. 800
Sheep. "a a 80. 400
TOTAL 100 head = $4,000
This problem is one that can be
solved by arithmetical progression,
and in the matter of age is very
characteristic of Pixies Peak, Mt.
Ararat and other mountains. Prob
ably G. A. Y. or some of your
bright readers can solve the fol-
lowing:
How many feet of lumber, (board
measure) are contained in piece
of timber 80 feet long, 48x48
inches dimension on one end, and
tapering on all sides to 24x24
inches on the other?
The solution requires nothing
but the simplest elements in arith-
metic, yet the most prominent
lumbermen Of Chicago. Mime
apolis and Duluth can not agree in
their answers. E. W. M.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1905-09-07
NOTICE.
six Electric silver spoons Ere

SIX Electric Silver spoons Free.
The ST. Paul Daily News, price $3.50 per year,
is always showing its enterprise in some new
direction. The latest offer is a set of six Elec-
trio Silver Spoons free to each person who sends
In one new subscriber to that paper at $3.50 per
year. If you are not a subscriber yourself, you
can send in your own name and secure the
spoons; If you are a subscriber. send in the
name of q friend or neighbor. just accompany
the subscription with $3.50. telling where the
paper is to be sent and where the spoons are to
be sent. The most remarkable feature about
the offer is that The Daily News offers to refund
the spoons on receipt. Address all c0mmunica-
lions to The Daily News, st. Paul. MINI.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1905-09-07
A Night at DeadVood.

No doubt you have read some
glowing descriptions of lively min
ing camps and perhaps you would
enjoy visit at some one Of them,
especially if you had the percep-
ton of "Mark Twain" Those
who have passed a few days at a
mining camp will agree with me
that the real, live mining camp is
comprised of much that is artif-
cial. This article purports to be
a brief summary of my impress
sions of Deadwood, at night.
The moonbeams were radiating
on the world below; the stars were
twinkling in the azure gloom of
the summers night; the trees were
gently signing, and the soft zeph-
yrs made audible the rustling of
the leaves all indicated that ma
ture now reposed. Not SO with
mankind at this camp, for here all
is lively. Little lotteries of pleas
ure-seekers push their way in and
out of the attractive places. Sweet
strains of music float upon the
air. emanating from the various
palaces, and beguiles the wayfar-
ing individuals as sailors were be-
guiled by sirens long ago.
The thoroughfare teens with in
dividuals from every cline who
have been lured to the hills in search
of gold and excitement. Every bar
room-and they are numerous
has it's attractions. Here we note
stereoscopic views upon a canvas
which is so arranged as to be VS.
IDLE from all parts of the barroom.
In the rear Of these ,barrooms we
see balcony where musicians
and singers regale the patrons
with sweet melodies. The bar
tenders are kept busy dispensing
various beverages. Walters are
serving mon, at the various gam
ing tables, who are too engrossed
with "the game" to step to the bar
to be served.
The clinklng Of glasses, the rat
tie of gaming chips, the blustrous
talk, mingled with the music is
simply chawming! CHANGING at
those who are "bucking the tiger
we note that they are congenial
souls, tho garnered from different
walks in life. Here is prospect
or CHANGING his hard-earned gold
on the twirl of marble or the
turn Of card; beside him sits a
Chinaman his long, bony fingers
constantly thumbing his stack of
chips, while his eagle eyes are
fixed, one on the gambler behind
the table, the other on the twirling
marble. Stepping near the faro
layout we see different class of
men, usually professional men who
take keen interest in the fasci-
mating play Of faro. Around the
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1905-09-07

lvmations an other kinds
sav classical literatoor. The beny-
fits derived, afther gettin' in tele-
pathic rapport wild authors,
lissens yer chances av mooral de-
gineracy an intinsyfies the moon
ey-grabbin' proclivyties so
characteristic av the human poppy
lation. Yis, the value av knowledge
as an educational factoor is al
most indispensable.
The important signiffycanse av
a literary profession is inhanced
be the fact that it approxymates
in dilycasy to that powerful phe-
nomena-polyt1cs. Bein' both
handsome an wilthy, / am also
possissed wild wan av thin DOODLE
individjooallities; HINGE, the sa-
gassyty av me alternatin' adapta-
bility.
'Tis an obvious an demooralliz-
in trooth that the classics niver
attain the proomiscuous populary-
ty av yillow-backs because the
twintieth cintury intillygince de-
mands loorid hair spring Escape
minis an indyscribable horrors
av percolatin' vividn1ss.
The writin' av F'rinch novels is
an aspiration coveted be rich an
poor wild the same inthrawlin' in
cintive-notyriety -effacin' fer the
.nonce, all CONVENTIONAL barriers av
social distinction. Amy author
besides mesilf will till yez that
the literary an financial SUCCESS av
"a book depinds on collosal i'm
minsyty av imagination an the
.alloorin' deciptiveniss av it's title.
As a practical demonstration I
will give yez few av me latest,
viz: "Annexin' Glasgow an Chi,
or Munissyple Ownership Solved ;"
"Weaver's Saycrit Conprymlze, or
the Emancipation av Graft" an
<'The Big Sticks Raid on Lawn
dries, or Boycottin' the Haythin
Chinee." All av thin are takin'
from life wild joodishus sprinkl-
in av villyans an SENSATIONAL in
treegs. Shure, if the main part
av book isn't the STORY thin
what is it? [ dunno.
Ills not. mesilf that's afther how
in jilous disposition. No sor,
me works are beyant comparison.
Faith, yez can't classify maniacal
ravin's an luv stoories as competi-
toors av scientific politycal de-
nouncemints. B'gorry, if there
waz no compytishun there wud be
no accomplishments; that's why I
say, lit livery man on the fnce,
under the fnce, an both sides av
the fnce, bettor himsilf, mintally,
fizzycalIy, an financially. Now us
authors as collective boonch
might be handicapped fer tins an
etwinties, but that defishincy is
ssoofshintly raycompinsed be an
abnormal developm1nt av soor-
plus intelligence.
The appallin' increase av bank
rooptcy amoong moo writer's is doc
to the lack av foor nicissary issin-
tials, ability, conciseniss, ixpris-
sion an originality. Amy an
all av which are requisite to hould
the reputation av common noos-
paper.
Spakin' av papers reminds me
7av small college pooblication to
which I an a lot av frinds how
unintintionally soobscribed. Yis,
tits fine paper, filed wild gins av
thought all the way throo an half
way back, on both sides an the
middle. Outside av that, the edi-
toor ixcloods, hairile, scandal,
postoHce coffee an other mon
;strocyties. Shure, if the big dali
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1905-09-07
...H Crue Hero.

Ia HERO-undecked and enchanted,
Observed and applauded by few,
But toiling and struggling undaunted
For loved ones, unselfsh and true
While Flooding along to his workshop,
Be it morning, at night, or at noon,
And despite all the cravings within him
Is the man who can pass the saloon.
A hero-who spite all temptations,
In spite of the rum-seller's lure,
Who paying no heed or attentions,
But walking selfconscious and sure
Each day by those vice-laden temples,
Where greet him the orgies wild tune,
While plodding along to his labors-
Is the man who can pass the saloon.
EMERITUS.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-06-24
Promotions Likely.

1t 1t generally believed that the trip
of the officials who passed through
here on Thursday has a far greater
significance than for inspection Of
properties only.
1t will be remembered that when
w. r. Henderson who was superin-
tendent of motive power of the Santa
Fe, resigned, 1t was fully a year before
the vacancy was filed. Alfred Lowell
who was assistant superintendent Of
motive power and then promoted to
the place. Since that promotion about
four months ago. the Office Of assist
ant superintendent Of motive power
has been vacant.
It is now believed that N. F. Risteen.
who is mechanical superintendent Of
the eastern grand division and who
Is in line for this promotion. will be
made assistant superintendent Of mo-
tive power
That move will make place for the
promotion of John Purcell from super
intendent OF the Topeka shops to be
mechanical superintendent.
II is known that Mr.. Purchell has had
an offer of a much better position on
the Missouri Pacific railway than he
has on the Santa Fee, and 1t Is also
said he has had an offer from the
Rock Island. II Is stated that Mr..
Purcell has declined the offer of the
Missouri Pacific. on account Of the an
~ticipated promotions as outlined
above.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-06-24
NOTICE OF PUBLICATION.
Homestead Entry No. 6265.

Homestead Entry No. 6265.
Department o. the Interior. Land OF.
flee at Santa Fee, N. M, June 2. 1905.
Notice is hereby given that the fol.
lowing named settler has filed notice
OF his intention to make final proof In
support OF his claim. and that said
proof will be made before the regis.
ter or receiver at Santa Fee. N. NJ.
on July Is. 1905. viz: PAtrScinio
i'aco for the lots I. s. 9. s. w. Y 8.
r x. N. EN-. 8. w. Y, section Z.
t,Wnship II, N, range II 3. He
names the following Witnesses 70 prove
his continuous residence upon ana cul.
tiatirn Of said land, VIZ: HilaEio Io.
PEE, Of Sena, N. N, Atilano Quintana
Of Sena, N. NJ. Julian Lopes Of 1ena,
N. NJ. Francisco Sandoval Of 6ens,
N. N.
MANUEL r. OTERO.
6-36 Register.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-06-24
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION. !.
Homestead Entry No. 5795.

Department Of the Interior. Land Of
flee at Santa Fee. N. NJ. June 2. 1905.
Notice Is hereby given that the fol-
lowing.named settler has died notice
OF his intention to make flnal proof
In support Of his claim. and that said
proof will be made before the register
receiver at Santa Te, N. NJ, on
July Is. 1905. vis: Francisco eando-
val for the r " 8. w. Y, section 8.
N. n N. w. v section 10, township IL
N, r. 13 e. He names the following
witnesses to prove his continuous
upon and cultivation OF said
land. viz: Hilario Lopez OF Sena, N.
M, Julian Lopez Of Sena. N. M. Alta
lano Quintana OF Sena, N. NJ, Patro-
cinio Pace Of Sena, N. M.
MANUEL r. OTERO.
6-37 Register.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-06-24
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION.
Homestead Entry. No. sees.

Land office At Santa Fe. N. NJ. June
II, 1905.
Notice is hereby given that the fol-
lowing-named settler has filed notice
OF his intention to make final proof In
support of his claim, and that said
proof will be made before the Probate
Clerk at Las Vegas. N. NJ. on July
25th. 1905, viz: Maxine Chavez. for
the N. w. u. 8. E. ", ". n, N. E.
", N. E. ". N. W. Y, section Is, r.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-06-24
Hiahes. Tunnel in World Open.

A cable to the World from Zurich,
Switzerland, says: The highest tun-
mel in the world has just been COM
pleted. II Is at an altitude of 10000
feet near the top of the Jungfrau
mountain. It is expected that an cleo
trio railway line to the mountain top
will be in oneration within a few
weeks. For more than seven miles
the road has been cut in the side Of
the mountain, with stations at inter
walls in which travellers will be able to
walk through branch tunnels to Open
ings Oh the SIDE o. .ne Ao4n.a.a and
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-06-24
NOTICE FoR PUBLICATION.

Homestead Entry. No. SSH. -.
Department Of the Interior. Land OF.
flee at Santa Fe, N. NJ, June 8, 1905.
Notice Is hereby given that the Soi.
iowing.named settler has filed notice
of his intention to make final proof
In support Of his claim. and that said
proof will be made before q. 8. court
commissioner at Las Vegas. N. NJ, on
July Is. 1905. viz: F1liberto Pacheco.
for the 8. ,. 8. 3. {. section 8. n. :,
N. q. 4, section Z. T. 16, N. R. - E.
He names the following witnesses to
prove his continuous residence upon
and cultivation Of said land. vi&: Pab-
10 Eena, Of Gonzales. N. n, Pedro n.
checo. Of Gonzales. N. NJ, Crus Her.
rera, Of Gonsales. N. NJ, Dpimsnio
Herrera. Of Gonzales, N. N.
MANUEL R. OTERO.
$50
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-06-24
Just what everyone should Do.

Mr.. ]. T. Barber Of Irw:nville. Ca,
always keeps q bottle Of Chamber.
lain's Collie, Cholera and Diarrhoea
Remedy at hand ready for instant use.
Attacks Of collie, cholera morbus and
diarrhoea come or 80 suddenly that
there Is no time to hunt a doctor or
60 to the store for medicine. Mr..
Barber says: II have tried Chamber.
lain's Collie, Cholera and D~iarrhoea
Remedy which Is one Of the best
medicines I ever saw. I keep . bottle
Of 1t In my room as I have had several
attacks Of collie and It has proved to
be the best medicine I ever used"
Sold by all druggists.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-06-24

10 N, r. "a E. He names the follow
ing witnesses to prove his continuous
residence upon. and cultivation Of.
said land. VIZ: Francisco 8. Chavez,
Of Chavez, N. NJ, Reducindo Chavez,
Of Chavez. N. NJ. Juan d. Martinez,
OF Chavez, N. M, Albino Barreras, OF
Chavez, N. NJ.
MANUEL 4. OTERO,
C-et Register.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-06-24

The laxative effect OF Chamberiain's
Stomach and Liver Tablets is so
agreeable and so natural that you do
not realize it Is the effect OF q medi.
cine. For sale by all druggists.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-06-24

Obtain a sight OF the most magnificent
Views In the world,
The soealled sea of ice" which Is
an immense glacier, Is a few feet from
the new. station, and travellers will be
able TO descend the glacier through q
safe trail cut into the rock, Lifts"
will convey passengers from the last
station platform 10 the highest point
OF the Jungfrau, which very few have
succeeded In ascending, thought It has
been the goal OF all Alpine athletes.
Fireman Floyd Is reported on the
sick roll,
The round house offices are rcceiv.
lng u much needed Goa Of paint,
Fireman A. w. Green, stationed at
Lamy, has asked for relief on ac.
count Of sickness,
Master Mechanic +. G. Barnes is
here from Ration, looking after the
company's business,
Failures to respond to the call boy
have become so frequent that an or.
der has been issued fixing discharge
as the penalty.
Fireman l.. c. Trainor. who came
down from Lamy on account OF lines.
has recovered, and has been placed
on the yard goat" for the present.
Engine Inspector Trainor has ap.
piled for transportation for several
members of his family to western
points. where they will spend a month
visiting.
The monthly report Of the Santa
Fe Hospital association has just been
received at the local offices, showing
the association to be In a very pros
porous condition. Total receipts for
the month Of May, $12,4l2.l1; total
operating expenses for the month of
May, $S,217.3i; total receipts above
expenses for the month of May, ST.
19f77.
A wrestling match between round
house employees Is the absorbing topic
among the boys at the present time.
A rather peculiar challenge has been
issued by Messrs. Griffiths and
Minium, to throw any man In the
round house six times In five minutes.
1t should not be very difficult for Mr..
Griffiths to strange the victim while
Minium does the hold up act.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-06-24
DYING Of Famine

Is in Its torrents. like dying OF
consumption. The progress OF con-
sumption, from the beginning to
the very end, Is a long torture. both
to victim and friends. when l had
consumption In It's first stage" writes
VIM. Myers. Of Cearfoss. Nd. after
trying different medicines and . god
doctor In vain, I at last took d.. Kings
New Discovery, which quickly and per.
fectly cured me-" Prompt relief and
sure cure for coughs. colds. sore
bronchitis, etc. Positively pre-
vents pneumonia Guaranteed by all
price Soc and $1.00 q bot.
tie. Trial bottle free.