The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1905-03-28
Chapter from the Trials of a Harm,
Household.

" AlC 1TIdIS Oh a HaDDg
Household.
That" said john, Cwsth feeling,)
was a bang-up dinner"
Mrs John hooked very proud.
In fact" said john Comfortably
stretching his legs,) Il don't remember
when I enjoyed a dinner more."
Really, John?" asked Mrs. John,
~ReaMy?"
"Bang-up." said John, going into the
sitting room for his pipe. "Hello!" ne
cried, Whats going ON here?"
john" said Mrs. John, again hooking
very proud, L am making a Dress"
Making a Dress" cried John. Why
Yes" said Mrs. john, we must
economize, you know"
"TTue!" said John, quite sadly, True!
Funny where my pipe isl"
Don't touch that" cried Mrs. John.
IF you mixed the pattern I should
never get it straight again."
ION, well,' said John, with resigna-
ton, i've got some cigars in the par
lor,' n into the. parlor he went.
why, hello!" he cried again.
Yes said Mrs. John, the waist is
III the parlor and the skirt lis in the sit
ting room. 1t wouldn't do to get them
mixed, you know!
No" said John, automatically, u
don't suppose it would. Lucky it isn't
a 'three-piece SUIT"
"John!' pleaded Mrs. John, Don't!
I've had e such a time with IT."
"Oh, WELL" said John, Il dare a
you'll find the next one easier"
Yes she sand, when 1 get a FORM
"a form?' asked John.
Yes. A shape, you know"
"A shape?" he repeated, why, l al
way Thought you had one," he re-
marked Oooking.)
Silly tnfng." said she. Il mean a
dummy figure to try the dress on as 1
make it,"
OH" said john, looking ~curiously at
his wife as she lowered ROUND him
with the unfinished skirt in her hand,
How now?'' he asked. you'll get
dizzy rtrotting around like that. How
now?"
"John,'' She hesitated, would you
mind if r
"Eh?' asked John, turning quickly
around aus She lodged behind him again.
Would you mind if p and once
more h slipped behind him with the
dress goods in her hand.
Whats it all about?" asked John.
II want to try the skirt ON" she des-
perately cried.
'Well"- John began Comfortably
enough.)
"Oh, you!" cried Mrs. John.
1.-The deuce!" howled John, and
around he spun again.
JOHN said Mrs. John, (after they
contemplated each other for some lit
tie time i'm perfect silence, } didn't /
have a nice dinner all ready for your
Yes admitted John, "but-"
"And didn't I have your slippers all
ready for you tonight-all nice and
warm?"
Yes. mumbled John, but
''Well, them" cried Mrs. john with
spirit,) well then!'
over his head.
L ulSN0I 'UIlOuS1pl III COIiiC I" IiiS'
growled john. lis the door locked?
Mice thing if anybody came i'm" And
then, "Ouch!" he yelled, with emphasis
and force.
"Oh, John, I'm 50 SORRY" said Mrs.
John. 'Wtas it a pin?" she asked.
"Felt like a spike!" howled John.
Cant you be a little more careful!
I'm no human pincushion!"
john warned Mrs. John, There,
now, 1 want you to walk around a bit
so I can see how it hangs!"
John stumped over Ito the corner n
then stumped back again.
"Oh, John!'' she pleaded, cam you
take little steps like a lady?"
MOI" said John, quite fatty, that I
can't!"
Mrs. john sighed, and going into the
parlor returned with various shaped
pieces of brown silk in Cher hands.
How now??' asked John, with deep
suspicion.
I'm going to pin the waist on YOU
said Mrs. John, ITO see how it goes"
MOI" tthundered John, swishing up
to THE table and shifting it with his fist
like a man. No, You are not going
to put high-heeled shoes on me! And
you are not going to cur my hair and
put a dinky little onnet OF my head
and call me Lizzie! MOI and he mote
the table again. Besides" he gently
added, seeing all the danger signals in
Mrs. Johns eye, Besides, Janey, we
haven't got time We must hurry, as
it is, or We'll be late"
ssT = -. T. ~, .l,o a-I-ol .sJ o+o -
what?'
why, &c the theatre, of course" he
boldly cried.
Really, John? Really? I'll dress right
away"