The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1905-02-22
A Reply 10 the New Grenada Coal Baron
and Wind Jobber's Report.

correspondence from tulS pidCe
represents meeting of hot AIR
capitalists and coal prospectors
of this place with one additional
from Taylor thrown in. Now,
with all due regard for your cor
respondent, as well as for your
paper, especially the latter, we
are, in justice to ourselves as
we'll to our constituents, compel
led to take exceptions to the re-
port Of said meeting as being in
complete so far as general in-
formation of the said meeting is
concerned. Iuasmuch as our
highly esteemed reporter, Col.
"Diogenes," the hot air promot-
er and schemer, either from the
vitiated or contaminated condi.
tion of the air surrounding; or be-
ing so completely wrapped up in
his own belchings of hot air, was
found (as we are able to prove)
sound asleep, right in the midst
OF the discussion, hiking out his
sonorous belchlngs OF hot air like
unto distant thunder, and in con-
sequence of these facts we take
exceptions to sleeping promot-
or as being mentally incapacitat-
ed to report the facts as referred
to.
Now, Colonel, we will admit
that you are pretty good at grind
ing out jokes, but believe that you
would make more money at grind
ing scissors. AS this is your
first offense, and with a view to
your future destiny, we will give
you something easy to digest, but
If you will persist in your hot air
explosions, we will then be com.
PEELED to give you something g
hard. You are located in New
Grenada, near the functions of the
Wells Valley and Ground Hog
roads, which is geologically
speaking, 1913 #. higher than the
Plgskin Dam, and, tiguratively
speaking, 938 fl. above ocean lev
ell. 1866 ft. lower than the sum-
NIT of Round Knob. near Cooks
Mill, 70 #. higher than Riddles
burg on the Ell. & B. II. r. r, 1918
it, lower than the summit of the
mountain where the public road
crosses from New Grenada to
Robertsdale, and $40 TT. lower
than the spring, at the watering
trough on the same road; 1l76 #.
lower than the out-crop of coal
seam "a" on same road near sum-
NIT of mountain, and near the
road side; said seam of coal known
as "Bed A" or Fulton or Cook,
beng the lower or bottom seam
of workable coal IN the lower pro-
ductive series or measures in this
State, or IN the United States. 1t
then becomes absolutely neces-
sary for our future information
ia ask our friend and brother Hot
Air Promoter and Store Box and
Nail Keg Schemer to explain how
the existence of coal underlies
New Grenada We will very
much appreciate any infor nation
on this subject from our "Prof., !"
and are ready and willing at all
times to ask questions for furth-
er information.
The last report we have from
our brother Col. "Dlogenes" was
a dialogue between himself and
his bald. d.headed grocery man, who
possibly detected his sonorous
belchings of hot air and said:
"What are you writing, Col. p"
to which our Br. "Col. replied,
Fan essay on the Importance of
thorough knowledge of Mines
and Mining, Hot air, Cold Air,
Compressed Air and Dephllgestl-
gated Air In store rooms" to
which the grocer replied, ''yon
don't seem to be getting along
very fast with it," "No," replied
the Col, "l'm IN fix. l cent re-
member where I'm at. / want
to sleep-P.o- wh-r-r, wh.r-r,
'ooh)-snoring. Later The
"Col. lis now working on a con.
trivance that will feed him while
he sleeps.