davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08
KANSAS COMMENT.
HE RECK0NED so

They tell a storv on an eeeenfrie
farmer living near f4iehland. II oc-
Cured during his wedding ceremony.
DO you" said the preacher, take
this woman to be your welded wife,
to love and to cherish in sickness and
health, for better, for worse, for rich
or for poor, until death do you part ~
There was an awkward pause. Then
the groom finally replied, "Them's the
calculations. ighland Vidette.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08
TOO MUCH 70 HOPE FOR.

Chicago is going to try the expert
ment OF municipal ownership of street
railways And her sister cities walt
mean strapless cars, a seat with every
fare. added accommodations in rush
hours and with due respect at all times
accorded the feelings of passengers as
human beings. All this may come with
the bringing up of the millennium as d
political issue.-Baltimore American
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08
HE N.Y. NOT KNOW.

The club women are perhaps cor
rect, in saying that Grover Cleveland
did not know what he was writing
about when he pitched into women's
clubs. The ex-president lived a bach
eIOr for more than a half century and
since-well the Cleveland household
hasn't had time for other than a
strenuous domestic life.-Minneapoli
MasSenper-
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

The new navy that American ship
yards are to build for Russia will come
a little too late for the present emer-
geney, but it may be the means OF pre-
venting another emergency quite as
bad.-CIeveland Plaindealer.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08
4 PROToCoL NBpDED.

It IS true that both Fred Dumont
Smith and Walter Roscoe Stubbs con-
template European trips this summer
but the rumor that they will be trav-
cling companions and both drink cut
OF the same canteen lacks confirma-
tion.-Kingman Courier-Leader.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08
OVERRIDING IT.

1t looks as though the incubator liar
will soon put the corn shucking liar
out of business. An Ottawa county
man loaded his ineubato with 200
eggs and claims to have hatched out
225 chickens.-Troy Chief.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

It seems that Lincoln was response
bic for it instead of Mrs. Lease after
el. Mary Ellen was a plagiarist.
lincoln once was asked: Why, Abe, if
NE do away with whisky, what shall
NE do with all our corn ?" "Raise
more hogs and less hell was his
stern reply, Mrs. Lease paraphrased
dt and turned It around.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

'The Right Man for Senator" is the
heading of many editorials In Con
necticut papers just now. Connecticut
has had to choose two United States
senators within a very short time.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

we would really like to know if,
when Mr.. Lawosn makes a million or
Ewo on Wall street, he takes it away
from the frenzied hnanciers or from
come bunch OF innocent little lambs.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

President Roosevelt won't especially
care personally about the teamsters'
strike when he gets to Chicago. He
would as lief walk ten or fifteen miles
as ride any day
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08
FRONr OTIIER PENs.

ALWAYS SOME DRAWBACK.
ApriPs showers make May flowers
AS all the land they food.
But also they, I'm prone to say,
Produce a deal of mud.
Philadelphia Bulletin.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08
No CHOICE.

It might be just as well understood
right now that this paper has no
choice as between Curtis, Charley
Scott or Bill Reeder for lieutenant
governor Either one of them would
make a fair presiding officer of the
senate.-Parsons Sun.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

''It is believed that the reason kan
sas fails to take kindly to Parsifal.'
says the Cleveland Plain Dealer. .is
because the latter doesn't carry a brass
bandf' No. guess again. The reason
IS because there are not two Nfarkses
ana three Little Evas-count them
thres-with a train wreck or a horse
race on the stage thrown in. That's the
zeal reason. If we must tell it.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

The czar is reported to be confident
that Rojestvensky will win against
Togo In view of what has been hap
pening, the czar deserves a good deal of
credit for his optimism.-Chicag Rec
ord-Herald.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08
HOW KANSAS GETS EVEN.

Missouri sells prohibition Kansas her
liquor, and then the citizens of that
state are compelled to come over one
day in the week to get it back
Phillipsburg Dispatch.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08
Eavesdropping on the TeIeDhone.


The improper use of the telephone
does much to impair the efficiency of
the service, and with the view of pre-
venting this. laws governing the use
OF the telephone have been recently
enacted in Maine and New York. The
provisions of these laws cover the an
noying or harassing of persons by the
use of the telephone, the use of i'm
proper language and the calling out of
fire and police apparatus without justi-
fcation. The penalty is imprisonment
and fine. 1t has not been possible.
however, to reach the eavesdropper.
who, with his or her ear at the re-
ceiver, listens to the conversation of
such neighbors as may be joint sub
scribers on a party line. The tele-
phone people say that this is more
common than is generally supposed,
and while they do everything to dis
courage it, the practice cannot be
broken up entirely.-Phi1adelph
Record.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08
THE REVERSE.

People keep saying that President
Bigelow got away with four million
dollars of his depositors' money, when
all the evidence goes to show that the
money got away from hin.-Wichita
Eagle.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

Figures compiled by the American
Contractor Of Chicago show that To-
peka's building operations increased "a
per cent in April. 1905, over April. 1904.
During April Of last year the building
operations here amounted to s6O,278: for
ne same time this year they were
S116,750. Only eight out of over fifty of
the leading cities show a larger per
uentage Of increase than Topeka.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08
CONSISTENT.

Woman is consistent in one thing
anyway. She'll tell you her age and
stick to the figure for years and years.
Council Bluffs Nonpareil.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08
ACCOMMODATING.

Mack Gretchen finds that people are
pretty accommodating. If you are
climbing, they'll boost you. If you are
on the down grade, they'll soap the
rack.-Ellinwood Leader.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

why are the Russian soldiers com
PEELED to kiss their general on Easter? ?
Is it because they viii fear nothing af-
ter such an ordeal as that?
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08
on OTHER PLACES. roo.

Don't be surprised If some enthusiast
telegraphs from Colorado that Presi-
dent Roosevelt shot indicating bears
on the wing-E1 Paso News.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08
NO DANGER.

If this scrutiny of tainted money goes
much further the dissolute English
noblemen viii perhaps refuse to take
the American heiresses whose money
comes from the bad trusts.-Philadel-
phia Ledger.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08
A GOOD SIGN.

The best evidence of a bumper crop
in Kansas this year is the fact that all
the circuses have billed the state.-St.
Joseph News-Press.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

Names ice crop is a hundred thou
sand tons greater than last year
-Lhought you might to want know.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08
ATTEMPTTNG TOO MUCH.

Mrs. Pearl St clair, wife Of a stall
wart young farmer near Clark, Mo,
give birth to triplets on Tuesday, all
girls The mother is only Is years OLD,
and she and the babies are doing we'll
With this addition to her family, she is
now the proud mother of four children,
the first one having been born little
over one year ago. Race suicide may
be bad thing, but then it would seem
that the great burden Of replenishing
the race should not rest upon one wo-
man and she only Is years oId.-St
Louis Star.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08
EQUITABLE

Life is real. life is earnest,
And the grave is not its goal;
Rather it's to see which party
Shall the surplus funds control.
New York Sun
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

Or. GLADDEN. says he won't talk about
Rockefeller when he comes west-to
Topeka, among other places. He needn't
be backward about it on our account.
He won't hurt the feelings OF Kansas
aWw
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08
IS THE OH. TAINTED. AIdSOY

Commissioner Garfield has obtained
samples of the Kansas oil and will make
careful analysis to determine whether
Mr. Rockefeller tainted it or not.-St
Louis Democrat.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

An exchange says that a Delaware
man became eonscience-strfcken and
sent @1.5O to the state treasury. No
body supposed that such a thing as a
conscience existed in Mr. Addieks'
state
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

The patrol wagons are running in
FChicago as usual. Notwithstanding the
strike.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

Spring came SO late this year that the
aousecleaNing germ is not yet fully de-
-lgeloped. The worst is to come.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08
THEIR RELATTONsHIP.

Ihe hen that lays the eggs IS the
mother of the chicken. The hen that
matches it is the nurse.-JeweH Re-
publican.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08
WHAT - WAs.

A wagon just drove past our Office
Norton Courier.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

NE may have trouble over prohibi-
llon in Topeka, but we never get tiet
1lp by a teamsters' strike.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

2 Chicago citizens are getting plenty Of
exeroise cut OF it anyway. They have to
carry ali their bundles home them
selves.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

The Centaur sniffed disdainful1y.
ed a heap rather be stuck on a
horse than by it" he remarked.
And with a chuckle he Watche ed
seventeen choosers Of a sure thing trek
back to town.-New York Sun.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

Pat Grove was like the cat after all:
a13e came back.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08
WE'RE MIssOURIANs ON THAT.

Kansas takes no stock in the conten-
ton that Mr.. Rockefeller is making
donations to missions to ease his con-
science. Kansas Is not convinced that
Mr.. Rockefeller has a conscience
Houston Chronicle.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

King Edward has had all his teeth ex-
tracted, but if recent photographs are to
be believed T. Roosevelt is still there with
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

Shells the telephone girls occupation
profession or a business7
He-Neither; it's calling.-Chicago Dali
ly News
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

A magazine editor has received a poem
that was composed automatically by 3
woman who had never written a line OF
verse before. And the most curious thing
about it is that you cant tell It from the
ordinary run of magazine poetry.-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

They now seem to want President
Roosevelt to arbitrate the Chicago strike.
But they have on an average one strike
day in Chicago that town would take
the whole time of the exeeutive.-Spring-
field Republican.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

Mrs. Brown suppose your son is taxi
ing a very thorough course in college
Mrs. Jones-Ah, yes, indeed He Is real
" too conscientious. This is his fourth
year in the freshman class, and they tell
me there is a great deal there that he can
learn yet.-Wa ashtngton Life.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

Report says that Rojestvensky is anx-
ious to have q large hot battle with Trego.
What Rojestvensky is really anxious to
have is doubtless a large cold bottle
Joplin News-I Ieraid.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

The railroad ties
Now greet the bums
The pesky flies
Begin to come,
Mosquitoes soon
Win start to hum
A mournful tune,
It's May, by guml
-ChfcagC
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

Tommy-There' a man at the door, Pa
who wants to see the boss Of the house.
PATEL your mother.
Ma-Cal Bridget-Philadelphi Ledger.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

Don't you feel. deeply impressed by the
halls of congress %
II don't know answered Senator Sor-
ghun, thoughtfully. THE hauls made
large as formerly. Wa Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

Bryan wants TO go back to the people in
spite of the fact that the people have twice
sent Bryan back to the barn. '-Carthage
Press.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

It may also be found that Banker Bige-
low of Milwaukee endeavored to introduce
a champagne standard in a beer town.
Joplin Globe.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08
Mixed-nn ENGLISH

The curious blunders sometimes made
by people unaccustOmed to being in the
presence of celebrated men are illustra-
ted in two anecdotes Of the late Sena-
tor M. S. Quay, which have just come
to light.
On one occasion Quay attended ser
vices at a little country church in the
interior of Pennsylvania. and one of the
senator, met him in the aisle with the
remark:
"Ah, senator, excuse me, but will
you-yOu occupew. my pie?''
At another time Quay was compelled
to dine at a table with a number of
strangers. One of the strangers knew
Quay only by sight, and. although he
desired the salt, which was on the SEN
ator's side Of the table was too much
overcome by the presence of United
States senator to ask for it. Finally,
however, he blurted out:
Senator may trouble you with the
salt?"
Senator Quay understood and trou-
bled him with it.-Harper's Weekly.
The Folly of seIRshness.
To Nicola Tesla, whose telautomatic
torpedo promises to put an end to war,
a friend said the other day:
There is this invention of Smith,
and there is this invention of Jones,
and there is the other invention of Rob
inson. In all these inventions yours was
the leading hand. Without you they
would never even have been thought of.
And yet you get no credit for some OF
the most marvellous discoveries of the
age?"
Mr.. Tesla smiled.
"That the inventions have material
ized that they benefit mankind, is
enough" he said. Il am not selfish My
name is honored. L live well. Why,
then, should I be hungry for q little
more money, a little more renown?''
He smiled again.
why should be like he said, "the
millionaire butcher Of my native town
of Smiljan?
ssThis butcher was a bachelor, and
when he became a millionaire he bought
a magnificent equipage-two prancing
black horses, a set of silver mounted
harness, a coachman in livery, and so
forth-and every day he drove proudly
through the town.
But he always drove alone. He never
had anybody with him. So one day the
priest of the parish said:
4" Why, my good man, do you always
ride alone in your grand coach? Why do
you never take any Of your friends out
with your
1.-THE millionaire frowned.
." If there were two of u.s. he replied,
no one would know who the team be-
longed to- Buffalo Enquirer.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

Perhaps John ". Gates thinks that the
Lord loveth a cheerful Ioser.-Western
Farmer.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

city ordinance of Mexico, Mo- limits
automobiles to three miles an hour. This
is practically prohibitive. Most automo-
biiists would rather walk than poke along
in a machine at the rate OF three miles an
hour.-Chillicothe Tribune.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

so the lawyers got most all the estate.
Did Ethel get anything?'
"Oh. yes; she got one Of the lawyers. -
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

II Rojestvensky should defeat Togo
there will be some lively work in the ninth
inniug.-Montreal Star.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

F'inancier-I have never failed to sue
ceed.
F'riend-Gee! I thought that's what You
always failed fori-Cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

He who started the report that matches
are made in heaven will probably never
get harp and crown.-Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

Ever notice how much time the other
fellow can spare fr0m his business to tell
you how to run yours 2-Marysville Bull
leti..
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

In France they have discovered a burg
larry trust. Here in America the trusts
don't have to be quite as direct in their
business methods as that.-Atlanta Con-
stitution.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

The school girl wo got married because
she could not do her arithmetic lessons
showed she knew how to add one.-Chica-
go Post.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

Senator Proctor complains of maple
syrup that doesn't taste as it did when he
was a boy. And perhaps the senator
might find that even green apples haven
that delicious flavor they used to have
Milwaukee Sentinel.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

Maiden Lady-It is very good Of you, sir
to give me your seat.
Pat o 'Brady-Not at all, mum It's
cooty we owe to the sex. Some folks oIffs
do It when a woman is young and pretty
but I say the SEX and not the indfVEduela. =
Tae~BitS.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08
HunroR OF THR DAY.

> james whitcomb RILEY.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-08

A man across the river has run away
from his wife because an expected infant
proved to be twins. Let him keep out of
Mr.. Roosevelt's path while Mr.. Roosevelt
is wearing his repeating rife, that's ALL
Brooklyn Eagle.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1905-05-27
IOWA GIRL is sLuM WORKER.
Miss Morse Of Manchester Head Of

Miss Morse of Manchester Head Of
Eli Bates Institution in Chicago.
Iowa Falls, May 25.- Reports come
from North Chicago of a splendid
work being 1-ne by a young woman
from Iowa, and as result the people
in the slums of that part of the big
city are being taught how to live de-
Gently. This work is being done along
lines that have made the Hull house
of that city famous for it's good work.
The North Side settlement is known
as the Eli Bates, and is being sup
ported by rich people of Chicago and
elsewhere. Miss Morse whose home is
at Manchester is at the head of this
work, and is accomplishing a great
amount of good through the medium
Of the kindergarten, a library day nur-
sery, club rooms and other influences
that are teaching the poor of the
North Side slums the benefits of a
good home and righteous living. Miss
Morse, who is enthusiastically work
ing for the accomplishment of good
along these lines, is in high favor with
the people of her settlement as we'll as
with the board that controls the fin
ances of the institution.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1905-05-27
---
BIRMINGHAM.

Birmingham, May rs - Mrs George
Israel went to Ft. Madison last week
for visit with her parents.
Mrs. Cynthia Ellsworth of Ottumwa
spent a very pleasant time with her
friends Misses Mary and Annie Lind
say, last week.
G. L. Sherward and wife visited last
Saturday with relatives in Fairfield.
r. A. Sherman and family were over
Sunday visitors in Salem.
Rev. D. w. Morgan is entertaining
his mother from Waterloo.
Mrs. Parker arrived Saturday from
Los Vegas, N. Mex, and will make her
home with her daughter, Mrs. James
Shagley.
Miss Villa Robertson of Mt. Pleas.
ant has been the guest of Miss Grace
Allen for several days. a
Mrs. N. A. Bennett has been at her
old home in Cantril the past week.
Mrs, Carroll stentz left this morn.
ing for her home at Terre Haute, Ind,
after an extended visit with her par
ents.
Mrs. J. W.Farrell departed last week
for New Mexico to visit her son Rush
and in hope of improving her health
which is very poor.
| A. L. Winslow and family attended
the wedding of Miss Helen Johnston
in Stockport last Thursday.
| w. o. Wilson went to his home in
Green City, Mo-, Saturday. His family
will return with him and make this
place their future home.
| William Beardsley and family went
to Selma Sunday to visit the latter's
parents.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1905-05-27
THEosoPHlsTs oRGiNIzE.
Branch of Famous Society is Started
in Des Moines With Ten Members.


in Des Moines With Ten Members.
Des Moines May 25.-Th organiza-
ton of new cult, know as he theoso-
phists was perfected at meeting held
at the home Of Mrs. j. Davidson, 1915
Sixth avenue. About ten chrter mem
bers took part in the organization 1t
is the intention to hold weekly meet
ings on Sunday afternoons. Next Sun
days meeting will be at tP home of
Mrs. Dawson.
According to the founder the OBJ.
jects of the society are t. form a
nucleus of universal brotherhood of
humanity without distinctin of race,
creed, sex or caste; to promote the
study of comparative religia, philoso,
ply and science; to investi;ate unex-
planned laws of nature and tie powers
latent in man.
The society reaches into all coun.
tries and climes, has no dgmas or
creeds, is entirely unsectarial and in,
cludes professors of all faiths exacting
only from each member the tolerance
for the beliefs of others thathe would
wish them to exhibit towardhis own
1t is the intention of the ociety to
hold regular meetings for scientific
research.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1905-05-27
PORTO RICAN TRADE
UNITED STATES HAS GAINED
AND SPAIN HAS LOST BY
CHANGE.
Introduction Of Civil Government In
the Island Marked the Beginning Of
Trade Between Porto Rico and the
United States. ..t.-,

Washington, D. c., May 25.-The nu-
merous inquiries for information re-
garding Porto Rico by the department
of commerce and labor through Its bu-
reau of statistics has led that depart
ment to prepare the following state
ment regarding the area, population,
resources and commerce of the island:
The beginning of the present month
marked the completion of the fifth year
of civil government in Porto Rico,
which dates from May 1, 1900. While
the governor and the executive council
consisting of six heads of departments
and five natives are appointed by the
president of the United States, the
house of delegates, consisting of thir-
ty-fiye members, are elected by the
people, the council and the house of
delegates together comprising the leg
! islatiye assembly.
Porto Rico has an area Of 1906
square miles, or about the half the size
Of New Jersey. Its population in 1899
was 953, 243, or about the same as that
fof West Virginia.
Coffee is the staple product Of the
island, the product in 1903 being 3d.
100000 pounds from cultivated area
of 100000 acres. About $4,000 acres
are devoted to sugar from which, asa
100000 pounds were produced In the
year named. Under tobacco there were
( $4,000 acres, yielding 100000 pounds.
Experiments in the cultivation of cot
ton are under way. Up to this time
I, the mineral resources of the island
have not been exploited, although gold.
silver, iron, copper, bismuth, tin, mer-
curry, nickel and platinum are found
In the island. The annual production OF
salt averages about 100000 pounds.
The commerce of Porto Rico in the
calendar year 1904 amounted to $751;
250,000, Of which six and one-third
millions represented trade with for.
eign countries and twenty-four and
three-fourths millions trade with the
United States. Imports into Porto
amounted to $14,135,061 of which the
value Of $2,200,0s3 was from foreign
countries and $11,934,97S from the
United States. The exports from Por
to Rico aggregated $17,o43,9 1892 in value
of which $4,OS0,449 went to foreign
countries and s12,963,4S9 to the United
States.
Porto Rico purchases her imported
articles chiefly from the United States
Spain, Canada, France, the United
Kingdom, Venezuela, Uruguay and
Germany. The principal gains in i'm
ports shown by the various countries
in the record of the past two years are
as follows: United States, from $3.50,
274 in 1901 to $11,934.97S in 1904;
Canada, from s369,554 in 1901 to 1924,
410 In 1904; Venezuela, from s3,455 in
1901 to s1S2,92S in 1904; France, from
s151,114 in 1901 to s2SO,304 in 1904
and Uruguay, from S2,0S3 in 1901 tc
S154,944 in 1904. The principal coun
tries showing their losses in their i'm
portation into Porto Rico during the
past year are: Spain, from $904,46E
in 1901 to $536,474 in 1904; United
Kingdom, from $35s,617 in 1901 tc