Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-03-04

print de names of every mug dat buys q
ticket. Dere I'll give 'em something dey
likes and wants, and dey will be known to
loosen up for it more dan IL dey was hear
ing de Neebleunga Ringer See? It's great!
Wit me hotel giving 'em toast and milk
and me opray giving EN- rag time and bar
ber-shop chords, I'll have de whole mob In
good healt and happy, and at de same time
dey will be getting de wort of DER money
in press notices-and get de rakeof on de
pape. too. What?
Well wit me hotel and opray house rum
ming on sinetlfic principles what do do
next? / automobiles me patrons. Does any
man who is old enough to have made
dozen million want to ride mile minute
on a gasoline tank? Nay. nay. Folks auto
mobile in six hundred dollar machines for
fun. dey automobiles in twenty tousand dol
lar machines to get DER names In de papes
Well, has a machine fixed up dat siheliS
of oil, electricity and street husband VIII
break down il you speak to 1t unkihdiy.
But ii costs seventeen dollars he motor
power is dolar-a-day Dago inside de tnn-
over, wit his feet on de ground A roe
from me hotel to opray house IN DAT
safe and sane machine Will be eighty seven
dollars and every time me guests rides IN
it de fact will be printed in me pape-at de
usual rates. Do you see where Il gong
to land? Me to de millionaire club! NO
indigestion at me hotel, but de rate nun
bred a day; noting to bore at rue opray
house but seats fifty trun; no danger IN
me automobiles, but eighty-seven dollars
whirl Say, if you want all de money dere
is in de wold syndicate me. You won nave
to borrow a million day from de town
bank to wash me as STOCK propositioh'
I'm ready money. Sure:
Folks want to be known to be spending
DER money, and are ready to take chances
at poison and sudden deaf at de dlhlng
table TO prove dat dey has de price; -
willing to stand six hours or DoublelunS-
ensng by a Eyetalian artist, TO prove ud'
dey has de price; is willing to court de coro-
ner by riding in a real automobile TO prove
dey has de price. How foolish!
Come to my shop. All de proof DAT you
has de price, wit press notices of de tact'
will be supplied and tings to eat dat can
be eat tings to listen to dat can be listened
to witout swearing, tings to ride in DAT
don't blow up-say. it is cinch? WeI'
WE'LL
I wonder nobody has discovered me.
When I'm found out, sure de banks VIII
let me have sixty tousand a day for an In
terest in de profits: somebody VIII BUY me
for toity-nine millions and let de people
have me for hundred and toity millions;
I'll be incorporated and issued AS canai
stock, de only guarantee being DAT L m not
a canal and dat | am a revolution; sugar
company will buy me and send me to de
Senate to vote on de tariff tinkering. L
wonder nobody has made me STOCK COM
pany and foated me at hundred TO get III
on de ground hoor--and get out In de cellar
de best way you can.
/ was all lit up linking what good tins
| was and trying to dope out ways or
spending all de plunks l was wort, when
Duchess comes to wit trouble In her
eye.
Master Cheems," she says, what did
Mr.. Paul tell you to buy for him when you
was down town yesterday?
"A new collar for de bull pup" l says.
But l forgot it."
you'll forget your Grants once too
many" she says, IAN get fired from your