davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Delta independent., 1905-10-13
Cure for III Temper.

A sensible woman, the mother {
young lady, taught her childre
from childhood to consider ill-humc
as a disorder which was to be cur
by physic. Accordingly. she had 9
ways small doses ready, and the u
tie patients, whenever It was thouV
needful. took rhubarb for the crcs
ness. No punishment was requi-
Peevishness or III temper and ri
barb were associated in their min
always as cause and effect.
The Delta independent., 1905-10-13
Pasted PIaster on a eandbox

Several years ago a Turner (Me. }
physician was called to prescribe fo
young woman. He ordered tho
mother to apply plaster to the pa.
tents chest. The following day he
called to see II his advice had beer
followed, and. finding the patien
about the house, was complimentinf
his good judgment when the old lad.
informed him that. as there YVES ne
chest In the house, she had pasted
the plaster on bandbox.
The Delta independent., 1905-10-13
Edwin Booths Fondncss for Tobacco

Without a cigar was Edwin Booth.
the tragedian. scarcely ever seen
Even while engaged on his profession.
al duties his beloved weed was pres.
ent in the wings. ready to be snatched
from his dresser's hand for enjoyment
during the sometimes exceedingl,
brief intervals between HIS exits ant
entrances. Twenty-Five cigars da,
were at one time his usual allowance
an allowance. however, not infrc.
Queptly exceeded.
The Delta independent., 1905-10-13
The ADVANTAGES,

did you enjoy the advantages Of
a college educatfon?" asks the inter-
viewer of the man who has suddenly
become promiren
''rhat depends on how you look at
it." replies the eminent person. my
older brother went to college and he
always sent home his cast off tennis
suits and other clothing, and I had
to wear them. But can't say that /
really enjoyed It."
The Delta independent., 1905-10-13
Matc Him Jump.

Rodrlck-"So you went to see that
nerve specialist? Did he test yCTr
nerves to see II you were nervoGS2"
Van Albert-'''He did. and | almost,
jumped out of the window"
Redrick--"What kind OF n test was
it?"
Van Albert-"Why. he crept up be.
hind me and footed an autonoD.,e
horn when wasn't looking
The Delta independent., 1905-10-13
He Had 1. Good Reason.


Nodd-Come out with me and take
ride in my auto.
Todd-How long have you had It?
Just got It,"
Had any experience with them?"
NO
Going to run 1t yourself?"
81 am"
"Can you mend punctured tire?"
''No, SIR"
wouldn't know the first thing to
do?"
Not the first thing"
Have you studied, read, or been
given any advice?"
mo, sir; tell you l don't know
the first thing"
How far do you want to go?"
Just as far as the thing will co.
"All right. I'll go with you"
What! Why, didn't dream you'd
accept my invitation"
why not?"
why. didn't suppose you'd care to
go out in an auto with a man who
doesn't know anything about it."
Nonsense! You're just the man,"
"How's that?'
Simply because. old chap. that II
we break down we'll drop the old ma
chine and get home by trolley. train or
carriage. But If you thought you
knew the first thing about it, you'd
spend the rest Of the day trying to fix
1t up, while I'd have to stay with you
and suffer as a matter of courtesy
Life.
The Delta independent., 1905-10-13
Feared Abuse Of PRIVILEGE.

The proprietors Of large sanatt
um have added this announcement
the advertised advantages OF theii
tablishment: ITO meet the con
ience Of visitors, arrangements h
been made with the vicar Of this },
ish for the burial Of guests at gre
reduced fees. The arrangement /.
yet only tentative, and the priv'l
may be withdrawn II 1t is abuseo
London Graphic.
The Delta independent., 1905-10-13
Nc. Looking for Profits.

well. MIR. Bronson" said TIE r=.n!I
ter. 81 hope you derived great PRO II
from the service this morning.
Sir" returned Bronson. ircl,rca
TO be indigr ant, Il assure you dror
business on Sunday and attend churc
with no hope of profit"
The Delta independent., 1905-10-13
Bankers to Produe. ouera.

Whitney Tew, formerly banker in
jamestown, N. Y, has rented one OF
the high-priced theaters in London
and will produce there an opera writ.
ten by another banker, Vincent Thorn.
as. Mr. Tew himself will sing the
principal role. He is quite noted
singer. having been heard all over the
world IL o,atorio and concert work.
The Delta independent., 1905-10-13
A Literary Distinction.

What is the difference between his
tory and fiction?"
WELL answered the unbel!cvIag
person, lone great difference is tina.
fiction frankly owns up to being large
ly untrue"
The Delta independent., 1905-10-13
Plans 10 Get Rich

are often frustrated by sudden break
down. due to dyspepsia or constipation.
Brace up and tske DR.. Kings New
Life Pills. They take out the materi-
ais which are clogging your energies,
and give you new start. Cure head
ache and dizziness too. At any drug
store: 25c, guaranteed.
The Delta independent., 1905-10-13
Always Staunch
And True

The Denver Republican has al
ways avoided the fallacies and
hnaveries of yellow journalism,
and its steadily increasing Circula-
t;on proves conclusively that its
policy of telling the plain Truth
mij1out eNaggcration or misrepre-
sentation, standing fast for the
Right, is heartily approved will
growing force by the intelligent
Public to which it appeals.
To read it is liberal Education
and the citizen who goes without
I does positive harm to himself,
70 his family, and to the commu-
nifty.
In no other way can the invest
t,ent OF 2H cents per day
for that is all The Republicans
costs any subscriber-bring such
rich results in that knowledge
which is both Power and Pleasure.
Information. instruction and en-
fertainment fill its columns and it
leaves good taste in the mouth
OF the reader.
1t stands for Law and Order in
the State-for Peace, Prosperity
and Happiness in the Home.
If you are not already enrolled
among its splendid list of Patrons
send on your subscription and give
it a fair trial at IS cents per month
for Daily and Sunday.
, 1905-02-08

says he, you're two very, very old
men to be sure, and I'm afraid poor
Taig is out of his chance anyhow"
Take care of that says Taig.
why" said the judge, "how old
are you, Taig?"
Says Taig, when I was twenty-one
years of age l got a shipload of razors
and yesterday l had the last of them
worm to a stump shaving myself"
WELL says the judge. says he. 1--WE
often heard tell of old men," he SAYS,
but anything as old as what you
three are never was known since
Methusalem's cat died. The like of
your ages he says. Il never heard
tell of. and which of you is the oldest
that surely beats me to decide, and |
am in Il quandary again.
but I'll tell you what III do" IA V
he judge, says he, I'll give the field
10 whichever Of you minds (remem-
bers) the longest
We'll, if that's it." says Conal, Its
me gets the field, for | mind the time
when if a man tramped ON "A cat he
usn't to give it Il kick to console it."
well, well, WELL" says the Judge,
that must be a long mind entirely,
and I'm afraid, Conal, you have the
field"
Not SO quick" says Donal, says he,
"for mind the time whom a woman
wouldn't speak an i'll word of her best
friend"
We'll, well we'll" says the judge,
your memory, Donal, must certainly
be a very wonderful one if you can
mind that time.
"Taig,' said the judge, says he, I'm
afraid your memory can't compare
with Conals and Donal's.'
"Can't it?" says Taig, says he. Take
care of that, for | mind the time when
you wouldn't find nine liars in IA crowd
of ten men,"
"Oh, oh, oh" says the judge, says he,
that memory of yours, Taig, must be
a wonderful one" Says he. 'Such
memories as you three men have We're
never known before, and which of you
has the greatest memory beats me to
say.
But I'll tell you what I'll do, now"
says he. I'll give the field to whichev-
er of you has the keenest sight
"Then," says Conal. says he, ITS me
gets the field, BECAUSE says he, "if
, 1905-02-08

He mad WON his Ethel after a pro-
tracted courtship. and now, although
he was filled with a sense of delighted
security, he thought it wise to ask one
or two questions.
81 am sure o are not the sort of
girl who would tell of domestic trou-
bles before a man had eaten his dim
ner,'' he said, with confidence, but a
rising infection.
No. indeed" said Ethel.
"And when | seem a little rufiled or
soothing things. Now, wouldn't you?'
proceeded Henry.
Certainly | should" said Ethel,
land you'd like to do it, too, know
do whatf' asked Henry, with a
sudden fall to earth.
"The soothing and comforting and
putting me in good humor when the
cook had been called to her aunts flu
neral for the third time and your bust
ness friends were coming to dinner"
said Ethel gently.
..Ye-es, of course, l should try to-"
faltered Henry.
And when you'd been bored at the
office with your cousins from the coun-
try you'd never speak of it till din
ner was all over, would you, dear Hen
ry?' said the trusting Ethel. 81 know
the sort of mar you are, who wants to
carry his share of the burdens, don't
I?'
IL hope you do" said Henry in a
disheartened tone. LET us speak of
the new magazines, Ethel"
, 1905-02-08

there was a fly perched on the top OF
yon mountain, ten miles away, | could
tell you every time he blinks.'
You have wonderful sight, Conal,"
says the judge, says he, and I'm
afraid you've got the field
Take care" says Donal, says he
but I've got as good, for | could tell
YOU whether it was a mote in his eye
that made him blink or not"
'Ah. ha. ha." says the judge, says he,
this is wonderful sight surely. Taig,"
says lie. Il pity you, for you have no
chance for the field now"
'Have | not?' says Taig. Il could
tell YOU from here whether hat fly was
in good health or not by counting his
heart beats
We'll, well, WE'LL says the judge,
a Y he, I'm in as great a quandary
as ever. You are three of the most
wonderful men that ever | met, and nc
mistake.
But I'll tell you what I'll do says
he. I'll give the field to the Simplest
man of you
'"Thank YOU" says Conal. Then the
field is mine"
"Why soT' says the judge.
Because" says Conal, says he, 'it
you filled that field with hares and put
a dog into the middle of them and then
tied one of my legs up my back would
not let one of the hares get out"
Then. Conal." says the judge, says
he, Il think the field is yours"
by the leave of your judgeship, not
yet says Donal.
, 1905-02-08

why, Donal," says the judge, says
he, surely you are not as supple as
that?'
Am not I?' says Donal. do you
see that old castle over there without
door or window or roof in it and the
wind blowing in and out through it
like an iron gate?"
Il do" says the judge. What about
that?"
WELL says Donal, says he, IF on
the stormiest day of the yea you had
that castle filled with feathers | would
not let a feather be lost or go ten yards
from the castle until | would have
caught and put it in again"
well, surely says the judge, says
he, you are Il supple man, Donal, and
no mistake.
"Taig," says he, there's no chance
for you now"
Don't be too sure says Taig, a Y
he.
Why says the judge, you couldn't
surely do anything to equal them
things, Taig?"
Says Taig, says he, Il can shoe the
swiftest race horse in the land when
he is galloping at his topmost speed by
driving n nail every time he lifts his
foot"
well, well, WELL" says the judge,
says he, surely you are the three most
wonderful men that even | did meet.
The likes of you never were known be-
fore, and | suppose the likes of you
will never be 81 the earth again.
"There is only one other trial" says
he. 'and if this doesn't decide I'll have
to give it up. I'll give the field says
he, ito the c%leverest man amongst
you"
"Then," says Conal, says he, you
may as well give it to me at once"
"Why? Are you that clever, Conal?"
says the judge, says he.
Il am that clever" says Conal, Il am
that clever that would make a skin fit
suit of clothes for a man without any
more measurement than to tell me the
color of his hair"
"Then, boys says the judge, says
he, Il think the case is decided"
Not 50 quick, my friend says Do
nal, not SO quick
why, Donal," says the judge, says
he. you are surely not cleyerer than
that?"
Am not Il" says Donal.
why" says the judge, says he,
what can you do, Donal?'
Why says Donal, says he, Il would
make Il skin fit suit for a man and give
me no more measurement than let me
hear him cough"
well well, WELL" says the judge,
says he, 1.-The cleverness of you two
boys beats all ever heard of.
.'Taig," says he, poor Taig, whatev-
err chance either of them two may have
for the field. I'm very, very sorry for
you, for you have no chance"
Don't be SO very sure of that" says
Taig, says he.
why" says the judge, says he,
surely, Taig, you can't be as clever as
either of them. How clever are you,
Taig?'
WELL" says Taig, says he, IF l was
a judge and too stupid to decide a case
that came up before me I'd be that
clever that I'd look wise and give some
decision
.'Taig," says the judge, says he, I've
gone into this case and deliberated on
it, and by all the laws of right and JUS
tee | find and decide that you get the
field"
, 1905-02-08
A Leap Year Proposal.

There was a young girl of Montana
Who gave a young nan a Havana.
When he'd smoked 1t awhile
She remarked, with a smile,
"Do you think you would like to have
Anna %
, 1905-02-08
COnaI and DOnaI
and Taie
By SEUMAS MACMANUS

Copyright, 1901. By Seumas MacManus
Valentine Democrat., 1905-11-09
TALK OF THE TOWN

we understand Cnat the New
Era at Rosebud will change hands
soon.
w. A. Smith brought up the
election returns from Wood Lake
yesterday.
John Neiss was down from his
ranch on the reservation the first
of the week.
P. H. Young and wife were in
town from Simeon last Friday, re-
turning Saturday.
Jim McClain, from over on the
reservation, was in town Monday,
doing some trading.
Rasmus Andersen drove down
from Rosebud Tuesday to vote.
He returned home today.
Nels Rowley and wife we're in
town last Friday and Saturday,
visiting Mrs. Rowley's mother,
Mrs. Felch.
B. F. Charbonneau has moved
his meat market into the building
recently occupied by Church's
grocery store.
w. G. Shull has rented the old
Perry Lawson barber shop from
f. D. Cohota and asks for a share
of your patronage.
Miss Maud Tracewell writes to
her folks of an evening with the
GHOSTS" in an entertainment Civ
en- at the state normal.
Jacob Klein and wife drove in
last Friday and stayed over to
Sunday to take in the Blind Boone
concert Saturday night.
G. W. Burge came in last Satur-
day to bring Mr.. Scott who has
been stopping at his place while
looking over the forest reserve.
L. & 0. Church moved their
store from the old postofice build
ing, south of w. A. Pettycrew's,
last week into the old court house
building.
A number of Indians were in
town last Monday and Tuesday
after government freight which
was loaded out by VIM. Barker,
government clerk at the agency.
Cards are out announcing the
initial function of an informal hop
to be given by the Ft. Niobrara
Social Club, Tuesday night, Nov.
IA. Dancing from eight until
twelve.
The Chadron boys defeated the
Valentine boys last Saturday at
foot ball by a score of % to 0. |
Several Valentine boys were pref
ty badly crippled and felt like
taking a lay off.
Report of school district No. 90. |
Simeon. Number of pupils en-
rolled, 9; days taught, 19; neither
absent nor tardy, Mae Spain; alb
sent but not tardy, Warren Thack-
er and Goldie Peddicord.
EDYTHE KLINGAMAN, Teacher.
We enjoyed a pleasant visit last
Saturday from Charles A. Scott,
K. S. A. c., 1901, now in the U. |
S. forest service. He had been
out to the Cherry county forest re-
serve and went up to Cody from
here. Mr.. Scott is a pleasing
young man to meet and is a bright
young man. His former home
was near Westmoreland, Kan.
j. j. Mclean and wife are
building a fine cement block house
north of Judge Walcott's resi-
dence. 1t is 24x26 on the inside
and story and half high. The
carpenters are finishing the house
now and twill probably be the
best dwelling of it's size in town.
The inside will be finished up with
good material and will have mod
L.
Valentine Democrat., 1905-11-09

j. W. Ward was down from
Britt last Tuesday.
The Glenwood post., 1905-04-08
Yum. Yum /!

Yum. Yum!
Oh. pumpkin pie and apple
May please the Yankee man.
But, oh. the smell OF scrapple
A-sizzlin' In the pani
Atlanta Constitution.
The Glenwood post., 1905-04-08
GOWN GOSSIP.

Tiny narrow pompadour ribbon
ruches make pretty outer and under
brim trimming for round hats.
For practical morning wear cotton
poplin and cheviot blouses. smartly
tailor made. will be worn during the
winter.
From Persian scarfs are made charm
ing blouses which require little if any
trimming. one scarf being sufficient for
a waist pattern.
Dull kid walking boots this season
are very low cut. Large buttons and
medium Cuban heels are seen on those
Of the best make. Beaded strapped
slippers are pretty for house wear
Dressing jackets, on the breakfast
sack order, are made with belted pep
lums and are rather more trim in ap-
pearance than the usual unbelted af-
fairs. Many Of these jackets are also
made Of albatross and cashmere and,
being unlined, are easily laundered.-
New York Post.
The Glenwood post., 1905-04-08
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy the
Best and Most Popular

Mothers buy it for croupy chill
dren, railroad men buy it for severe
coughs and elderly people buy it for
la grippe, say Moore Bros, Eldon
Iowa. ''We sell more of Chamber
lain's Cough Remedy than any other
kind. 1t seems to have taken the lead
over several other good brands -
The.a is no question but this medi
cine is the best that can be procured
for coughs and colds. whether it be a
child or an adult that is afflicted. 1t
always cures and cures quickly
Sold by all dealers.
The Glenwood post., 1905-04-08

Woodmen of the World delegates
and their friends who intend TO visit
Los Angeles at the time of the Head
Camp session in April, should apply
to c. b. Carter agent of the Colo
RADIO Midland Ry., at Leadville, for
space in special car which will leave
Leadville at l 40 p. m, April 14th,
fol- Los Angeles going through with
ont change. Round trip rate for this
excursion, returning via San Francis
co. *45. Delegates and others from
here will make direct connection with
this train at Leadville, joining Wood
mems special train at Colorado
Springs.
The Glenwood post., 1905-04-08
SEALED PROPOSALS

Sealed proposals will be received by
the Board of County Commissioners of
Garfield county, Colorado, by the county
clerk of said county. at his Office in
Glenwood Springs, Colorado, up to
April Sd, 1905, at 10 o'clock a. m. ,
for the furnishing of the following
material and the performance of the
following labor in connection with
tie State bridge across Grand river in
Glenwood Springs, to-wit:
To furnish the necessary quantity
of first grade Oregon fir, inches in
The Glenwood post., 1905-04-08
LEGAL
prOhete Notice

State of Colorado, CO, niv of Gar
field. ss. In the County Court in
Probate.
In the nG1trr ot the estate Of Lena
Cnrwin, de- ea-td
This mn't-r coming ON to he heard
on this lOlh day of March A. ID. 1909,
UPON the petition filed herein by Ollie
Thorson, administrator. of said es-
tate, for the sale Of the following de
scribed real estate. or II portion there
of, to wit: Lot No. 23 in Block No.
46 in the Town of Glenwood Springs,
Garfield county, Colorado, for the pnr
pose of paying the debts of said es-
tate, and for the best interests of said
estate. And it now appearing to the
Court from said petition that proper
and legal grounds exist for the sale of
all or portion of said real estate,
Now, therefore, it is ordered by the
Court that the unknown heiIs of said
decedent, and all persons who are leg
atees or devisees of said estate, or any
part thereof, or heirs of said decedent
be and appear before said Court at the
court room of said Court in the Town
of Glenwood Springs, County and
State aforesaid, on the 18th day of
April, A. D. 1905, at the hour of 10
o'clock in the forenoon of said day,
then and there to show cause, if any
there be, why an order should not be
made directing the said Ole Thorson,
administrator, to sell the whole or so
much of said real estate as may be
necessary for the purposes specified in
said petition
II is further ordered that this order
be published for at least four success
sive weeks in the Glenwood Post, a
public newspaper published weekly IN
said county.
BY the Court:
A. l.. BEARDSLEY,
4-s County Judge.
The Glenwood post., 1905-04-08

thickness, surfaced on both sides, to
floor the driveway throughout said
bridge, and to furnish the necessary
wire spikes therefor; and also to
furnish what ioists may be needed
for trat purpose, not exceeding ten
in number, and to lay said driveway
in II first class and workmanlike man
ner, aud also to take up the planking
now in said driveway and to pile up
all the por ion thereof which can be
utilized by the county elsewhere; and
also,
To furnish the necessary amount of
2ipch Oregon lumber, surfaced on
both sides, for planking the walks of
said bridge. with wire nails for that
purpose, and to take up .and preserve
in piles all the old flooring. and also.
To point up with Portland cement
all the stonewoIk of said bridge
where exposed, in first class and
proper woIkmanlike manner.
Separate bids will be received for
the furni ,hing of the material, for
the performance of the work and
for the pointing up, or altogether
as may be desired.
The material and work as furnished
and done will be subject to inspec-
tion and rejection in whole or in part
by the Board of County Commission
ers of said county, acting through its
chairman.
The county reserves the right to re-
ject any and all bids.
Dated at Glenwood Springs, Colo
RADIO, this 10th day of March, A. d.
1905
VIM. CARDNELL,
3-1S-4 County Clerk.
The Glenwood post., 1905-04-08
WHEAT AND CHAFF.

Don't take a polite acknowledgment
for an encore
Everything comes to him who waits
except the walter
Too many irons in the fire eat up
much expensive coal.
Justice might take your part. but in.
Justice takes your all.
Tomorrow" Is the reef that has cost
the life of many business man.
When you are arguing with fool
just remember the fool is doing the
same thing
When woman says she wouldn't
marry the best man alive she speaks
the truth. She couldn't get him-Chi
cago Journal.
The Glenwood post., 1905-04-08

3-lS-4
The Glenwood post., 1905-04-08
A Pessimist,

Tommy-Can l go to the theater
mar
Mother-No. not tonight, dear.
Tommy--Then can l go and have a
tooth out?
Motherhood gracious! Whatever
for?
Tommy--Well. l never get any fun
I don't!
The Glenwood post., 1905-04-08
bold EeuoN.

You darel" she cried. An angry glow
Across her features famed.
He dared. and then she whispered low,
You ought to be ashamed"
Philadelphia Press
The Glenwood post., 1905-04-08
For a Weak Digestion

No medicine can replace food but
Chamberlain Stomach and Liver
Tablets will help you to digest your
food. 1t is not the quantity of food
taken that gives strength and vigor to
the system, but the amount digested
and assimilated. If troubled with a
weak digestion, don't fail to give
these Tablets trial. Thouasnds
have been benefited by their use
They only cost quarter. For sale
by all dealers
The Glenwood post., 1905-04-08

Her Turn Next.
Aunt Florence-You don't seem to be
sorry that your sister has been mar
ried and left you.
Ethel (aged tifteen)-No; 1t makes me
eligible now.-Philadelphia Ledger.
The Glenwood post., 1905-04-08

Good morning. Have you used
bromo' seltZerf' was the common
salutation on the streets of Glenwood
the morning after election. It's mar
velous what queer effect Grizzly
water has on some people.