davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
FFro1n the Philadelphia Record.l

From the Pn1laQelpnld fNeCOIu-1
When a fellow is on his uppers he
should do his best to get on his Seet
again.
Some people are so in love with them
selves that they haven't room for any
more.
Is it any worse to play poker for a
stake than to toss to see who pays for the
dinner?
Many fellow feels that he holds the key
to the situation and then can't find the
key hole.
ITO be really disappointed in love-" says
the Cynical Bachelor, 'it is necessary to
be married.
No man admits that he gets more than
he expected unless it is something he did
not want at all
We have the pink of perfection and the
pink of propriety. but neither of them can
be applied TO noses.
Even when man is obliged to face the
music he can still talk about the musical
director behind his back
Blobbs-Yes, he used to be a bunco man -
S1obbs-.tReformed? Blobbs--''Well, he's
running = summer hotel now
No, James, there is no similarity be-
tween a marriage license and a liquor Ii
cense In fact. it is doubtful if you can
get p license to lick her.
Teacher-'sWillie Green. you may tell me
the three greatest characteristics of
George Washington" Willie Green
Faith hope and cherry tree"
I'm saddest when sing she cried.
This ancient Warbling dame:
And all her hearers then decide
They likewise feel the same.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18
JAYHNWKER JOTS

This is the time of year when croquet
is the all absorbing pastime in the
country towns.
The Logan Republican. published in
town of not more than 500 people, is
threatening to start daily
Billy Morgan has been taking trip
down the Rhine. and he is compelled to
admit that it is somewhat different
from a trip down the Arkansas.
A tramp at Emporia stole two coats.
1t is supposed he was insane. for no
one can imagine why a tramp should
want even one coat at this time of
year.
According to the Republican, FL Do
RADIO pays out an average of $1,000
day for poultry and eggs. Last Satur-
day the poultry purchases reached 81
900.
The probate judge of Dickinson coun-
ty was called the other day to issue
marriage license for a girl who had
passed her fifteenth birthday only the
day before.
There is a water famine at Otis. There
is plenty of water in the wells, but the
wells are deep and there hasn't been
wind enough lately to keep the wind
mills running.
Ellsworth is puffed up over winning
the pennant in the Kansas state base
ball league Five other Kansas towns
were after it, but most of them were in
the also ran class.
A writer in the Mcpherson Republic
can says that he was sitting in front of
a large store in a central Kansas town
some time ago when a, jackrabbit saun-
tered leisurely down the main street,
and not even q dog barked in protest.
It's easy to see why: 1t was during
harvest, and everybody except the loaf
er who saw the rabbit was out in the
harvest fields, so the rabbit came to
town.
A swarm of bees made their home
lust inside the weather-boa of a
Smith county church some time ago.
Recently it became necessary to repair
the church and the bees had to be re-
moved. Some of the weatherboards
were taken off and eight or ten gallons
of honey was taken out Who says this
isn't a land flowing with milk and hon
ey?
Hill City Republican: The Republican
is indebted to Mrs. c. r. Miller for a
luscious peach, almost as large as a
washtub. grown on her home place. This
good lady dispatched C. S. Purviance
for this haven of rest with three OF
these choice peaches. but he ate two
en- route. leaving the third for US. which
we devoured with avidity. Like the
donor. said peach was good and sweet
and was fit to tickle the palate OF
king.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18

step in the right direction. 1t is direct
ed chiefly at unfair or discriminatory
rates and at rebates. There are said to
be weak points in it that need remedy
ms, particularly that which provides
specifically that the railroads can keep
an unfair rate in force while they fight
the matter through the courts, even af-
ter it has been declared unfair by
commission.
Any rate regulation should not only
aim to do away with Determinations,
but it should also aim to reduce rates
that are unjust to the shipper and raise
those that are unjust to the railroads
Such rates probably exist in rare in
stances. For instance, the officials of
some road may be personally interested
in some certain locality or in some in
dustry in that locality. They make
rates on which their road loses money
on the product of that particular indus
try. This acts as a discrimination
against some other locality producing
the same article, and the road must also
make up it's loss by overcharging other
shippers elsewhere.
The commission that is given the
power to regulate rates should be en-
powered to really regulate them, keep
ing in mind the interests of all shippers
and those of the railroads as well.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the Chicago News. ]

From the Chicago News.
The shortest horse gets the longest
odds.
Nothing is more sad than forced
cheerfulness.
Every time a man makes mistake
he learns something.
With some men swearing off is a
continuous performance.
The average man is to be seen
everywhere-except in a mirror.
After some wives have had the last
word they sit down and cry over it.
No true society woman ever patron
ICES the opera to listen to the music.
Matrimony is a great institution; it
makes a man forget his other troubles.
Some people are unable to distin-
CRUSH between courage and foolhardi-
ness.
The difference between tragedy and
comedy depends largely on our point of
view.
1t takes a genius to get 10 cents
worth of satisfaction out of a cent
cigar
It's surprising what number of
practical things are impracticable
when you try them
In this age of substitution somebody
should substitute something for the
walking delegate
Moral suasion is all right in its way,
but there are times when it should be
backed up with a shotgun.
No man can help feeling sorry for
a pretty girl who rnarries some other
fellow while he is still in the bachelor
class.
There is something peculiar about
the man who takes no interest in base
ball. He may be a person of superior
intelligence.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Sometimes a family gets so many
skeletons on hand that they won't all
go in the closet. That's the matter
with the Taggarts.
Is a man Ioafer really worse than
woman loafer?
You sometimes say, "well, 1 admire
their cheek" 1t isn't very difficult to
admire a pretty girls cheek.
We have been hearing a good deal
lately about John Browns spring,
which is a relief from what we used
to hear about John Browns fall.
The Star estimates the present popu-
latfon of Kansas City at 31O,0S0, based
upon the last city directory. This
nearly two hundred thousand people
who really live there.
AS Tom Kelly spoke only ten min
utes at the anti-horse thief picnic at
Eudora, nobody got tired and yelled,
stop, Theft
Don't you think it took a good deal
of nerve for the weather bureau to
prophesy a frost for northern Ne
braska on Wednesday night, when the
mercury stood at 81 in the shade at
o'clock in the afternoon?
The Kansas City Journal is worrying
about the following Governor Folk has
lost by his Sunday closing movement
over in Missouri. You will notice that
Folk isn't worrying any, however.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18
INTERPRETATION.

What are the wild waves saying now?''
The summer maiden asked
The youth with the perspfrihg brow,
no in the sunshine basked.
iney seem to n1urmur something sweet
AS on the strand they play
And break in ripDles at my feet,
wonder what they say!''
The youth turned yet a deeper red,
think that I can guess
Insy notice that you wear he said,
That pretty bathing dress.
They say: Must we in vain invite?
Oh, fair of form and face.
A1oro your slaves rare delight,
Come to our warm embrace -
She coughed behind her milk white hand
And looked at him and smiled,
Sne said: of course they've lots of sand
Is that what makes them wild?
Just now l think I'd rather rest,
But here she heaved a sigh
II some one else made that request
Perhaps 1 might comply
Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18
''smart Set Marital Exchanges.

Marriages of convenience. nuptial
bands entered into to insure inherent
prodlgality, alliances for financial con-
slderat1ons, or to maintain caste
through opulence, have turned New
forks Smartest set into a sort of con-
nubial money market. The first mo-
i've or 1nducement in effecting a mar
rage between the children of Mann
mon seems to be to secure by the con-
tract the largest accretion of riches
essential for purposes of ostentatious
display and to Out-dazzle the dazzlers
OF a luminous social organism. 1t is a
transaction adapted and fitted to the
evolutlons of money-mania; a contract
of courtesy between the parties, gra-'
ciously entered into for personal felici-
tations. What could be further re-
moved from anything sacred or sin
limited partnerships with restricted
liability, carried on for private gains
strictly, and to be dissolved at will
with or without the mutual consent
neither party assuming any RESPONSE
bility? The creed upon which these
incongruous marital contracts are
formed is grounded in selfishness. The
contracting parties, if they spoke their
minds literally at the altar, would
say:
''I promise at all times to consult my
own wishes, and to look after my own
interests, to so live as to keep an eye
on the main chance and take care of
number one; to give an inch if 1 can
take an ell; to love, cherish and do as
like until divorce doth US part
1t is an affair started in buffoonery
and carried on in a wild revel of rain
bow chasing until, after a brief period,
both parties, satiated, wearied and
heart-sick, turn from it with repug-
nance to seek another alliance and
new sensations.-Era Magazine for
August.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18
THE EsCH-ToWNsEND RITZ.

The Chanute Tribune admits that If
doesn't know much about the Esch-
Townsend bill. but since Presid ent
Roosevelt has endorsed it, the Tribune
thinks it can stand for it, and refuses
to print the stuff which the railroads
are sending out in an effort to defeat
the measure. The Tribune doubtless
proceeded on the theory also that ii the
railI Dads are against the measure, and
are making such strenuous efforts to
defeat it, it must be a good bill to sun
port anyway.-Iola Register.
1t is quite possible that the Esch-
Townsend bill isn't perfect. but it is a
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18
KANSAS CONAENT
SEEMING THE PUBLIc.

The Wichita postoffice, it is announc-
ed, Will hereafter keep its stamp, regis
tered letter and general delivery VIM
dows open until IL p. m. This announce
ment is interesting, as indicating an ap-
probation on the part of one official, at
least. that the public is entitled to
something more in the way of convent
ences than it has been getting. If the
people would only realize that these lit
tie eonveniences and benefits are theirs
If they only demand them in common
sense and practical way, we should
have more of them A public official
should study to give the public the very
best service possible-or should turn his
job over to one who will.-Wellington
Monitor Press
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18
THE MOSQUITO.

He comes, a-singing in the night
thing of terror; yet so small
It's useless to attempt to fight,
And all In vain for help you call.
He scorns SO slight a thing as wealth,
When his dread visits make you vince.
His quest demands your rest and hea1tns
OF graft he is the very prince.
He takes the public for his prey:
And not content with fattenings
He leaves before he goes away
Mementoes that will smart and sting.
He has been caught But oftener far
In safety he has fed and laughed,
To hear you curse your 1ucklesS star
He is the very prince of graft
Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18

A newspaper correspondent at the
launching of the Kansas discovered
after it was all over that Governor
Hoch had planned to refuse at the Ia st
moment to have anything to do with
the launching ceremonies providine,
the builders did not allow water 70 he
used in the christening. Of course
the governor knew nothing. about this
intention of his until he read of it in a
newspaper, but it must have been so
even if he didn't know it. for a CORE
spondent surely wouldn't lie about it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18
HUM0R OF THE DAY

..Subbubs looks pretty bad. doesn't hep
Yes; he says these new women make
New women? Why should female suf-
frag ists affect him that"
You misunderstood me. mean the new
cooks that are coming and going at his
house. ''-Philadelphia Public Ledger.
Pausing uncertainty before a desk IN
the big insurance office, the Hibernian
visitor said to the clerk: Oi want to
Life. fire 20 or mariner drawled the dap
per clerk with infinite sarcasm.
al three orm think KIN s Fetorte IL the the
navv.''-Puck.
in like sixtyi Run out an separate EN-.
Paw-Not I, Mary. That amt the way
here on = the eos stoo nnsse spell an il receive
any limitations that my good offices
would be acceptable l may amble out an
offer 'em, but not before.-Philadelphia
Bulletin.
Piggamus-Here's an advertisement that
guarantees to make antique furniture out
of new. It says it can take furniture right
out of the factory and make it look 100
DismukeslThat's nothing! My two chill
dren can beat that and not half try
They've already done it with the parlor
set.-WashinGton Life.
What makes you think that Mr., scadds
is not a man of influence in his conf
munitv?"
Because" answered Miss Cayenne. 81
have observed that he never runs his au-
tomobile at any greater speed than that
permitted by INSTRUMENTATION Star.
Two little girls, aged and 6, were play
ing together on the beach.
"And your papa" queried one, what
does he do?
''Oh, whatever mamma says" answered
the other.-Detroit Tribune.
Irate Creditor-Now. look here, want
my money.
Impudent Debtor-o. that's all right. I
! thought perhaps you wanted mine.-Alley
Slooer.
Dear john wrote Mrs. Newlywed
Dear. Jane. L enclose check" wrote
John, but please don't buy any more no.
tells at this price-they are robbing you.
The Smart Set
I'm afraid I may have to go to JAIL"
walled the prominent packer.
Why SOP asked the sapient senator.
| I've been indicted"
Pooh! Look at me. I've been convict
| ed. Louisville Courier-Journal.
saymold Storey teyeing his with stern
disa pprovaD-W'y don't we pay a little
more 'tention to yer clothes?
BadIeigh Mildude-If we don't like it
cause amt wearin' pair o, oDen work
to me open work shoes, ole man.-Chicago
Tribune.
Miss Kreech-He says my voice is very
good.
Miss Knox Indeed? He must have in
side infornat ton.
Miss Kreech-How do you mean?
Miss Knox-He must have a way of dis
covering that it's better than it sounds
Philadelphia Press.
| Elderly Passenger-You might not sus-
pect it, miss, but I'm nearly old enough to
| be your grandfather. That is why don't
rise and offer you my seat.
The Young Woman-Indeed, sir, there is
no need of your apologizing. You quite
! look it.-Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
[From the New york Press.f

A man is always in bigger hurry to
get married than he is afterward to let
people know he is.
It is a shame to end a good sermon so
soon. when man is in the middle Of a
fine nap and it wakes him up.
The way people tell about what fun they
had camping out, after it is over, they al
most convince themselves they had good
time.
What a woman Is afraid Of when she is
making a railway journey is that fnayfe
the road doesn't go where the timetable
says It does.
A girl will worry a great deal about the
way the poor the east side suffer and
let her own mother sit up till O'Clock in
the morning sewing on a dress for her
while she gets her beauty sleep.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18
WHAT THE STATE WANTS.

Mr.. Stubs declares that 'if Kelly
plays fair with me he will get fair
treatment in the state treasury investi-
CATION So then the interest of the
safe is not to be guarded at all. The
present momentous question is the
treatment of Mr.. Stubs. And it is to
be reckoned from his conversation that
If Kelly does not treat Stubs right KEEL
iy will not get fair treatment. The state
wants Kelly to have fair treatment.
no matter whether Mr.. Stubs gets
what is coming to him from Kelly or
not. And the state wants the truth
about the state treasury. no matter
what kind of treatment Stubs re-
ceives.-Salina Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18

You remember the Standard Oil
company said last winter that it had
TO stop work in Kansas because it was
short of funds and could not borrow,
don't you? Well, it has paid thirty
per cent dividends so far this year and
has several months still to run.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18
A PARTISAN VIEW.

The belief that Governor Joe Folk
of Missouri will be the next Demo-
cratic candidate for president of the
United States is rapidly gaining ad-
herents. He is true Missourian, one
of the real show me" kind. and a
right decent, clever young fellow at
that. His one striking weakness is
that he is a Democrat weakness
fatal to his presidential aspirations, If
he has any. But if he continues in the
course he is now pursuing, and runs
for president, nobody will be able to
say anything against him as a good
citizen and a man of parts.-Los An
getes Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18

ond district. OF course Kelly also
saved himself with the same rump
convention, and Stubs may have fig
ured that his debt to Kelly was can
celIed when he saw to it that Kelly's
bogus delegation was seated in the
Wichita convention. Honors. or rather
dishonors, are about even on that
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18

The independent refineries that are
advertising stock for sale might point
to the thirty per cent dividends that
the Standard has declared thus far
this year as evidence that the refining
business isn't entirely nrnftless-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18

like Washington" Governor Hoch
Is quoted as saying while at the ma
tonal capital. Perhaps this is lust a
mild hint to the Kansas legislature
that he would like to make Washing
ton his place of residence for about
nine months out of the year after SEN
ator Burton's term expires.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18

Isn't it about time that the ordi-
nance against riding bicycles on the
sidewalks is a little more rigidly en-
forced in Topeka. AS rule boys and
careless young men are the chief Of
tenders, and they are usually the ones
that cause the accidents.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18

It really was exasperating. from
Kelly's standpoint, that Bowersock
and Stubs should refuse to go on KEEL
1ey's bond after Kelly had got up a
rump convention in Miami county and
helped Bowersock thereby to steal his
congressional nomination in the Sec
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18
A "SUN" OPINION.

This Missouri sunfiower may be
noxious weed, but the sunflower of
loveliest flower of autumn; the sacred
emblem Of Sunny Kansas; the subject
of glad song and the object OF sweet
praise; the orange in the sunshine; the
flower that adorns the beautiful land
scape and inspires the gentle breeze
Chanute Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18

Here is something from the Chicago
News that we had not thought of.
kansas farmers are not saying any,
thing, but they are wondering, never
theless, why friendly administration
should be boosting the peace game be-
fore they have sold their big wheat
cron'
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

Subscribers of the State Journal
away during the summer may have
the paper mailed regularly each day
TO any address at the rate OF thirty
cents a month. Address changed as
often as desired. While cat OF town
the State Journal viii be to you like
. daily letter from home.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18

NJ. Witte is very much averse to CIV
ing up Sakhalin, but as the Japs have
been holding it for some time it is diff
ficult to see just, what the Russians
would be giving up.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18

The Kansas City Journal is running
David R. Francis for the Democratic
nomination for president in 1908. This
is pretty good evidence that Governor
Francis won't run very hard anywhere
@lsa
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18

1t is too bad that General Hughes
could not have brought home that SEN
atorial boom that he launched for
Governor Hoch in the east. It certain
ly ought not to have been left to float
around on the waters of the Delaware
with no one to look after it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18
CIVIC CLEANLINESS.

There is never any harm In a clean
tends toward a more Clearly city
means better protection for the public
health. Every precaution to prevent
the propagation of mosquitoes of all
varieties is to be commended. Aside
from the danger of spreading disease.
the mosquito is an annoying pest
Lexington, KY, Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18

The modern highwayman in
Gotham doesn't go armed with a gun
or slungshot- Instead he takes a
copy of Town Topics and a prospectus
of "Fads and Fancies."
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18
NO OBJECTION.

Recent reports warrant the prediction
that if Mr.. Folk should reach the presi-
dency, and by virtue of his Office be-
and navy, he will make no objection to
that punch bowl on the battleship Kan
sas.-Wichita Eagle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18

That Kansas man who never rode
on a railroad train until he was mid
dle-aged turns out to be Missourian
who wandered across the state line.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18
ANOTHER ONE.

address an anti-horse thief association
in johnson county, a prisoner at the
state penitentiary is out in letter to
the 1eavenWorth Times advocating
prison reform.-Salina Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18

Russia can borrow all the money she
desires to make peace with, but when
it comes to borrowing to make war
with-well, everybody is hard up in
that instance
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18

Mary McLane has been discovered
again, but it is to be hoped that she
isn't going to tell US anything more
about Life in Butte.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-18
Curing Conee.

A Swedish inventor has patented a
process for improving the flavor of new
coffee. Coffee is usually stored for sew
eral years before roasting. the standing
causing slight chemical changes which
improve the flavor. This maturing pro-
cess may be shortened to a few hours
by exposing the raw coffee to the ac-
ton of a powerful magnetic field. The
magnetic field is advantageously obtain
ed by two adjustable electromagnetic 1t
is claimed that the maturing process
requires from one-ha1f. to two hours, ac-
cording to the strength of the current in
the magnets and the character OF the
coffee.-CoIder's Weekly.