East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-07-10
CLARK WOOD.

Biographical Sketch by an Old "PaI."
"Tillacum." in the Baker City Nav
erick, writes the following sprightly
biographical sketch of Clark Wood,
editor Of the Weston Leader:
Clark Wood, of the Weston Leader,
writes Maverick in the following sad
dening strain: "I read Maverick re-
ligiously every week and regard it sin
cerely as the brightest and most orig
inal publication in the Northwest.
Having lapsed into dullnes and con-
tent myself. I appreciate the efforts
of others to relieve the pTozak IA
nalism common In OreRsR.7
Fudge Fudge again. The IDEA OF
Clark Wood lansing into dullnes.
There isn't dull hair in his head,
| dull corpuscle in his great big, full
bloodcd heart I knew Clark Wood
long. long ago. when we were both
young and husky bucks, running
rather wild down on the edge of the
Umaulla reservation. Clark was then
city editor of the Pendleton F.. o.. and
a slickear attached to the mechani-
cal staff below stairs.
Clark, in every department of that
old sheet, was known for what he
was-an unmitigated nuisance, be-
cause of one thing-his prediction
for bummin' chewin' tobacco. He
bummed from everybody. He never
seemed to possess a plug of his own.
| Men who never chewed used to buy
hunk of Climax now and then, just
l tn n x1rfth Ola ri
who all day long carried a pocket
knife open in his hand, as badge Of
his calling which was that of pro-
fessional tobacco panhander
| He never asked audibly for a chew.
| He would merely approach a friend.
smile a bland and expectant smile,
and gently flourish his pocket knife.
| If no response forthcame. he would
| execute a more elaborate flourish.
| This knife drill always ended with
! Clark telling a funny story and am
! bling off with a cheek full of the
weed, and with tobacco spit squirting
| every which way.
one day l happened into a grocery
store and old Martin Fineran, a clerk
of blessed memory, refused me credit
for a pack of cigarettes. why don't
you pay cash, like Clark Wood" "
growled Martin. He was just in here
and bought two dollars worth of
/ chewin' tobacco"
Clark Wood buying plug tobacco
| Absurd! a minute later 1 met Clark
on the street. He was in the act of
| approaching a friend. He was gently
! flourishing his knife. | saw a plug
/ pass; a minute later Clark was ambl-
( ing off with one side of his face puff
| ed out like a boy blowing soap bub-
bles. This touch" on top of a cash
purchase of two plunks worth of plug
trailed Clark from Finerin's grocery
/ up "A back street to the county Jail.
| interviewed the iailer. Yes; Clark
had been there. Yes; he had entered
the cells Yes; he had handed out to
/ the prisoners a big lot of chewing to-
/ bacco.
Yes: Clark Wood had come out and
bummed n chew from the sheriff.
Yes Clark was a funny feller. Yes
Clark Wood had always done this
thing-every week he had handed out
chewin' tobacco to the Jail inmates.
And none would ever have known of
Clark Woods $2-a-week charity If
it hadn't been for Martin Finerin's S
hard heart in refusing me a standoff.
In later years Clark Wood got a
newspaper of his own" Then he
came to be quoted far and wide as
the Bunchgrass Humorist. Which
the same he was-and is. Dull? Not
for a minute Not until he dies. and
even then he will probably bum st.
Peter for a chew and raise a laugh
among the angels. For c. is 81
ing to that pace, becar and be-
cause.
A fire origh ating in millinery
store destroyed Goldfields, sv.. Sat