The daily Alaskan., 1905-10-19
Calling It Square

a match.
 In early spring the widow had bought Q COW, and that COW had jumped every fence on the deacOn's land within two weeks, but he had always driven her back home without a word of com plaint. On this occasion, however, the deacon was veXed.
 i've stood it and stood 1t and stood it," he said to himself as he surveyed the damages, but l cun stand 1t no longer. The widder Green must be made to understand that her COW cant go about like a rOarin' lion, kuockin' down fences and tramplIn' down corn. I estimate that she has damaged me $1O worth, and that wid- der has got to be sharply talked to-"
 He drove the COW to the home of her owner, giving her a vigorous whack on the way whenever he could get near enough. and when he had reached the house and been saluted by Mrs. Green he said:
 "Widder, l told you two months ago that your new COW was a jumper
 Yes, you did"
 And that you must put a poke on her"
 Yes"
 wei, you didn't do it, and she's damaged me $1O. When found her in my cornheld just now, l almost wanted to kill her"
 I'm sorry, deacon," was the humble reply.
 But beIn' sorry won't do," said the deacon, who felt that be had the ad- vantage and should press 1t. "Jumpin' cows should be poked. told you that long ago, but you don't seem to care two cents"
 "I was goln' to poke her"
 But goln' to poke a COW and pokin' her are two different things. That was the way with Mirandy. She's dead, and don't want to say anything agin her, but she was always gOin' to do and never doln'. You're a widder woman, and I'm sorter sorry for you, but you must obey the law same as other folks. The law says that a jumpin' cow
 Never mind what the law says, Deacon Albright" Interrupted the wId- ow. You are maxim great fuss over a few stalks of corn, and If you'll tell me what the damage Is I'll pay It. l never thought you was such a man."
 But you've got a jumpiu' cow"
 Then let 'er jump. stand ready to pay all damages
 But you are mighty sassy about it.
 I've a right to be. I've got no man, thank heaven, to boss me around"
 Tt would be better If you had. Then you'd know that any one who owned a jumpln' COW was obleeged"-
 Deacon Albright, how much do owe youT' exclaimed the woman.
 If twas any one else I'd say SlO, but bein' it's you
 q won't pay 10 cents."
 Then I'll sue you for damages"
 You can sue till the chickens become ducks. You could boss Mlrandy around and make her feel as humble as a cat but you can't boss me. Go ahead with your old lawsuit"
 The deacon said be would and turned away. Before he had gone forty rods he changed hls mind, and there would have been no legal trouble but for the COW.
 Not satisfied with what she had done, she took advantage of the occa sion to die. It was from overlooking on the juicy stalks and young ears, and a witness was found to come forward and swear to certain whacks the dCa. con had bestowed upon her anatomy as he drove her along the road.
 Hes so powerful quick to talk about lawsuits that I'll give him OneE said the widow when she heard that the jumping COW had passed away. And within four hours she was in the vii. lage consulting a lawyer.
 When Deacon Albright received no tice that he had been sued he, of course started a cOuntersuit. Then some one told the widow that he was talking about her, and she started a islander suit.
 He heard that she was talking about him, and he instituted another suit. Then the deacon's sister clipped In and had her say, and the widow be, gan a third suit. The deacon had once saved her barn after 1t had been struck by lightning, and now he instituted a claim for salvage.
 The law works slowly in a country town. A lawsuit is a thing to be hung on to as long as possible and made the most of. The first two suits were tried and appealed, and the two others were called and adjourned several times, and finally two years had passed away and no one was better of and no point had been settled.
 One morning almost as soon as the deacon was out of bed he received no, tIce that his spotted oI was lying dead in the widow Greens cornfeld. The animal had broken down the fence and overfed. The deacon was met at the gate by the widow, who said:
 T could say that you had jumpin OK an1 that he should have been poked and th&s yoV had damaged me S1O, but