The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1905-11-15
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for fun. Have some beans. yer old
imagew I'd ask him. the fust part
loud enough to take the roof off and
the rest in an ordinary tone of voice.
And then Msria'd pucLcr up her face
to keep from larfn'.
For them two years he never mem
toned Siddies folks except to run 'em
down. but all at once lie began to
change his tune. Begun to wonder
how they were getting along. and said
he would like 10 see 'em. till Maria
and began to get real worried.
His seventy eighth birthday was
comm and we thought twould please
him If we made kind O. celebation OF
it. We talked it over some and Marie
said she'd git up a special dinner, and
have whoppin' birthday cake. told
her it was foolshness. but she was set
on it and said he was old and childish
and would be tickled to death so | let
her go ahead
Well the morning OF his birthday |
hitched up and drove to town, and she
and Pansy Nickerson got talkin' about
Nathaniel Nixon was since ne got mar
ried, and one thing er another. till
twas II o'clock fore she started
home On the way she met Lysander
Holmes, who drives the mail cart, and
be says, Left a package at your
house; twas for yer Uncle Ephy."
We had fine dinner roast beef and
! MI I'm
but nuthin' suited Uncle Eph. He
growled at the vittles and said this
was burnt and that was raw. till got
maddern q young heifer. Fin'lly Ma
ria went out and fetched the birthday
cake. Twas noble old cake. | tell
yer; there was Uncle Ephum on it all
done in red peppermint lozenges Ma
ria made the letters SO big there wasn't
room for the IN" on the end Here's
a big slice fo7 you. Uncle [ howled,
and then l says, in my usual voice,
Looks as if it would poison you. and
| hope TO goodness it will"
! We'll, he just srinned and took the
slice and bergen 10 eat it. and | set
down and pulled my mustache down so
as he wouldn't see my lips move and
commented | sartiuly did give it to
him hot and heavy. Maria had 10
cough half q dozen times to keep from
larin' out. See i'm eat" Id say.
We've got him this time Every
mouthful is Just as good as Il deed 10
two acres Of that hop field Have
some moref That's right Wen kill
the deef Old reptile this time. I can
see the melodeon in the parlor. Order
the undertaken, Maria; it is the best
days work you ever dOner
When he had finished three whoppin'
slices | says: Better have a little
more, you old alligator; we want to
kill you quick; don't want you hansiu'
along"
Then he sits up kinder slow and de-
liberate, lays down his knife and fork
and says:
NO he says, the old alligator won't
have any more; he's had enough-of
cake and other things But wouldn't
order that melodeon this afternoon il
was you, and l wouldn't rely OH pickin'
them hops this season" And out Of
the room he walks, leavin me and Ma.
ria lookln ike a couple Of wax men
He can hear" says she, after a
spell
Hes heard every word we've saidr
said /. Then we both looked at each
other and never said Boo" for as long
as five minutes Their We heard Uncle
iph come stampin' down stairs. He
had his old plug hat on and hi. cane
IN his hand, and he walked out of the
gate and down the road
You must foller him. says Maria.
| grabbed my hat and ran after him,
but be got down to town FIRST and Went
into ,he telegraph office. When he
came out went in and tried to find
out who he telegraphed to. but he had
left word with the clerk 10 tell no one.
so got no satisfaction Maria was
fairly dancin when I got home
Hes up stairs in his ROOM, she
says, with the door locked, ana he's
THROWN things around like an pos
sesse1. He's been deef for years and
years and how. how. can he hear
now"
Al CLOCK someDDdy drives No TO
the eate twas Siddles old man IN his
was Il. Uncle Eph comes hoppln
rish, down stairs with hi, bag d,led
up.
"Ch, uncle, dear" sobs Maria.
where be you goin?'
The deef Old reptile. says he. is
soin' to find another burrow aud he
climbs into the wagon
This Is your doln's." says /. shakin'
my nst at siddle's old man.
Yes ~ says he GRIMM. I'm g.ad
to say It's. Here's something YOU may
be interested in And he throwed me
piece Of paper.
Twas printed circular, and II said.
'The deef hear. Budd's that's slddle,s
old mans namel Marvellous Out-of.
Sight Ear Drums. TOR Restoring tile
Hearing. Ordinary conversation easily
understood. Entirely invisible" ana
so on and so on.
"Them's my latest Invention" says
Siddle's man. Il sent Uncle Eph a
pair for birthday present. He's been
wearin' 'em ever since mornin You
can hear ordinary conversation with
them, can't yer. uncie:'
Yes" said the old man. "and extra.
ordinary conversation. too.V Then
they drove off, ana went in and