The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1905-05-10

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never tell till you've seen the wedding
presents. s."-Cleveland Leader
my boy asked the school teach
er, what is the chief end of mani"
"Why, the end his heads on" replied
the oungster-Baltimore Herald.
Her-Why do you prefer hotel food
to my cooking? h:m-At hotel l
can always look at the meEs and see
what I'm eating Leaoe-
"See that man? Well sir, he landed
In this country with bare feet and now
he's got millions" Gee whiz! he
must be a regular centipede. .'-Phila-
delphia Ledger
Strayner-My heart goes out instinc-
lively to the cry of distress. Budge-
Well, that's the cheapest thing you can
let go out that's some consolation
Boston Transcript.
Stubb-Time works changes among
the wealthy as well as the poor Penn
I should say so. These days the
chauffeur knows more family secrets
than the butler.-Chicago News.
Carrye-What did papa say when
you asked for my hand? Cholly-
From what the ambulance surgeon
told me when | came to he must have
said aplenty--Pittsburg Dispatch.
Clara-How did you break your hus-
band of suffering? Grace-Every
time he started it | began to protest
against his smoking | never failed to
start his flow of language.-Detroit
Free Press.
"Why, yes" said Miss Pertie Good
win to her intimate friend, Harry and
! are going TO have secret wedding.
Not soul is going to know of 1t till
after it's over. Hadn't you heard?"-
Chicago Tribune.
She-To think that he should treat
me so! And he told ME he loved me
with his whole heart. He-That was
all right; but you see since then he
has been suffering from heart failure.
Boston Transcript.
Little Willie-Say, pa, what is the
meaning of 'Noblesse oblige"? Pal
don't know, my son, unless it has some
connection with those foreign mobiles
who are Obliged to marry for money
Chicago Daily News.
81 can truthfully say" remarked
St. Petersburg official. that nobody
ever threw a bomb at me-" ITO what
do you attribute this fact?" asked the
sardonic colleague; popularity or I'M
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Star.
"Those two men talking together
over there are worth a good many
millions between them" (which is
the richer:Y 81 don't know, posi-
tively-but watch the bishop, who's
going to speak to them "Why?"
"See which one he shakes hands with
first life.
Gunner think there should be an
authorship class connected with ev-
cry big college. l mean so students
would be enabled to write fiction for
money. Guyer-Fiction? Say, did
you ever see the letters that students
write their parents when they need a
cneck?-Chicago Daily News.
I'm afraid we can't use this sketch
of your life in this campaign" said the
boss to the young candidate. I'm
afraid the public won't believe you
came from the country?" why not?'
Because you don't say you ever taught
school for term and then came to
the city to study law."-Omaha News.
Business Manager-Im sorry, young
man. but I'm afraid you will not serve
nv purpose. Applicant-But, sir, |
have nine diplomas and degrees.
Business Manager-Maybe but in ac-
ouiring them you have evidently been
too busy to learn anything useful.
Good-morning-Cin CONNER
cial-Tribune.
But don't you see, Miss de Muir
argued young Professor McGoozle,
that you merely beg the question
when you take that position? Il am
sure, professor" protested the young
! woman, her eyes swapping, Il haven't
changed my position particle since
sat down here, and haven't thought
of begging you to ask me any ques'
ton atever,"-Chicago Tribune.
Mrs. Nayberleigh-Why, what are
you crying about? Mrs. Youngbride
Well, you know, John is away on
a business trip Mrs. Nayberleigh-
Yes. Mrs. Youngbride-He writes
that he gets out my picture and k
| kisses it every day. Mrs. Navber-
leigh-Well, that's surely nothing to
cry about. Mrs. Youngbride-Yes, it
is! Just to play joke on him,
took my picture out of his grip when
he started. and nut one of m-m-moth.