The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-14

gosh-Blanket stammers frightfqlly.
itates.
Josh-when's that?
Bosh-When he comes for the rent He's
our landlord.-Detroit Free Press.
Physic;an-I'd advise you to drink cup
of hot water with every meal:
Patient do, but my landIady calls it
coffee.-Chicaso News.
The words where ignorance is bliss"
Were very likely said
By one who had an aching wis
Dom tooth within his head.
Kentucky soil will be inspiring to the
veterans, for there's where O'Hara start
ed his famous battle anthem its echoing
holds out other Inducements. too-excei-
lent ones In warm, June weather-accord-
ing to another poet:
I'll give the rose and tulip
For the COOL Kentucky juleD
That has the very hearts of us in thrall;
AS to live in old Kentucky.
Where they have no useless water pipes
Atlanta Constitution.
Did Brown tell you good-bye?"
Great Scott. no. He hasn't left town"
Yes, he told me he intended to settle in
the west"
without settling in the east.';-cieveland
Leader.
YES boasted Cherry Tyre, IT could
put up 5000 a year without pinching my
yes. but not without getting pinched."
stanceS.-Houston Post.
Gsabel-oh, she can comb her hair to
| look if she never rode anything but an
| automobile.-Puck-
Very wen. sir said Dr.; Quick. after
you sorry for this
What are you going to do asked the
undertaken, retire from practice Phil
adelphia Press.
Eff salvation wuzn't free everybody
would be maxim a big rush fer it-so's ter
corner de market.-Atlanta Constitution.
Kneedeigh has lost considerable money
| since he has been in this country.
/ Jack-Then it is true you have broken.
the gagement.-Judge.
you say you think the new boarder is
| in love with you? Has he made any adj
NSi but he sazs he Il soon his
Your starring tour was a failure, was
| it?' said the sympathetic friend
Yes answered the soubrette. 'but
| don't mind that so much. What I'm kick
| ing myself for is that I had half a dozen
and turned down every one of them
Chicago Tribune.
Blobbs-Poor Buggings is growing old.
| Slobbs-Ohi don't know.
Blobbs-Well, he insists upon telling ev-
erybody he feels as young as he ever did.
-Philadelphia Record.
Mrs. Mimbleson has such a fetching
way, don't you think?''
Yes; She was waitress in a restaur-
ant before he married her.''-Chicago
| Record Herald.
Never judge a mans income by his
clothes said the Philosopher of Folly.
The wise man reserves his opinion .a on
| clothes. cleveland Leader.
Towne-He's got an automobile. hasn't
BROWNIE don't know.
| Towne-why, thought you told me you
saw him with one yesterday.
! Browne--Yes, but that was yesterday
Phila delphia Press.
| Tom-May sit beside your
Peggy[-You,n crush my sleeve.
ton Tiger.
New ArrivaI-What a gentle, peaceful
creature that COW is! Just look into her
| Old Guest-I did that when I first ar
rived. But I discovered that in order to
get correct line on cows character
must judge. her by her hind legs.-Phila-
delDhia Press.
"Ahr, said the man who was given to
moralizing. death comes alike to the rich
and the poor man
that in the former case it is usually ac-
companied by reporters. "-Pstladelphi
| Press.
''Is this the first time you have ever
bese .na kissed sr ?" he asked ..vs.. .
you so thouehtful?''
Say. darling, you're going to be sim,
Chicago Record-Heraid.
De Long,. say. old man. when are. you
going to pay back the ten let you have
| six months ago?
Shortwad.-.Oh. in a few days. would
have paid it back long ago. only I was
| afraid of hurting your feelings.
shortWad-I didn't want you to think I
News.
.Bliggins never speaks harshly to his
Hes too considerable eh2"
CT rather think he's too prudent Mrs.
Bliggins weighs about $50 pounds. Lou
| isville Courier-J Journal
do you believe that we will have 4
chance to repent after death?'
thing Philadelphia Press.
Anxiety-what makes Mrs. Joyner look
She has got into dreadful quarrel
'The election of officers in her Don't
| Worry Club. w ashington Star.
Towne-Do you believe il, dreams7
| Browne-I used to, but don't any more
Towne.Not as superstitious as you
were. eh?
Browne-Oh! It wasn't question of su-
perstition. was in love with one once
and she Tilted Philadelphia Press.
Pat. phwat be mint by the casus belli?"
Il dunno, unless it do be the Appendix
saytus. PUCK.
II believe in rational celebration Of
the Fourth .