Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-03-23
a SCARED SCIENTIST.

Washington Star: 1t would not be
supposed that such frailities or frivoli-
ties as romance or fun could append to
or hover about so solemn a repository
of erdutition as the Smithsonian in
Stitution.
But here's a story, all the same:
A few months ago one of the mem
GERS of the Smithsonian institutions
scientific corps went down to a little
ISLAND lying Off the coast of Virginia
10 gather certain specimens of the
dora and fauna Thereof. What the
bora and fauna were the scientist went
after makes no difference. 70 tell what
they We're would be to give too good
Zine on" just who this amiable scien-
tbs Is, anyhow.
He is a young man Of thirty-five or
some such matter, good-looking, and
he hasn't by any means arrived as yet
at the dry-as-dust stage OF the average
| scientific man S career.
ON the little island lying off the coast
| of Virginia.. hereinbefore mentioned,
there is a lighthouse. The lighthouse
| keeper had and has daughter
pretty. wholesome. unsophsticated.
quite uneducated and wholly charming
| Virginia girl.
The young scientist was perhaps the
| first male person she had ever met and
conversed with, in her out-of-the-way
| sphere, who executed the major portion
| of his dining by means of fork, prop
erly handled.
Consequently the lighthouse keeper
daughter promptly feel idolatrously III
\ love with the young scientist
The young scientist couldn't help H.
He felt lattered that the young woman
considered himself possessed of the IA
tai gift of beauty, and all that. but
inasmuch as he was engaged 10 a
| Washington young woman VINO knew
! how to make honilon doilies, ana couid
A clay "Monastery Bells and the Maid
EMS PRAYER" on the piano. he really felt
very badly over the cascade OF ;fleclion
lavished upon him by the Virginia sea
! uynph and daughter of nature.
Moreover, the girl herself had beau
lie was a rawboned young fisherman
who combined business with pleasure
by "coteing" her while nc CREASED ms
boots.
This was, of course, a complication
from the viewpoint of the young scieil-
fist let alone all other considerations
The scientist had never seen the fish
erlnan beau and he didn't want to.
After only half completing his WORK
of gathering specimens he packed ul
and came back to Wasnlis'ph' s'..u
TO again find himself within the sa1e
enfoleling embrace of pure. undEuteq
science, with an upper case 5.
Sadly enough the lighthouse Keeper :
daughter pursued him With more ol
less Violently affectionale letters hone
the less affectionate because they were
one and all signed 'yures very res
pekfly."
The guileless, conscientious yoant
man of science was much pcrturbet
after having received several dozens o
these billet-doux, and he decided u
ask the ghostly counsel for his iplne
date chief in the matter.
When he did so, his immediate chle
Law back i'm his chair and--we!l, hoi
Tered. He gave the embarrassed youns
| scientist the loud and long laugh. Then
brutality enough, he related the stor.
unto the delighted ears OF the rest o
the corps of scientists OF the smith
sonian institution. They. likewise MOI
lered
The name of the lighthouse keeper
daughter is rather unuSuhi-s;ty III ]
penelope Sadheart. The staid, sobe
scientists had only to whisper the nam
of Penelope within the hearing OF tn
object of Penelope's alteration to reduc
that young man of science 10 one IRE
mendous and all-pervadins blush. Ihe
kept ut him for quite Il while until tn
novelty of the thing wore off, and the
they gradually let him alone
one afternoon last week quee
fieure wandered into the dim. cathc
dral-lit entrance corridor of the Smith
, sonian institutions.
He was something short of seven fee
. in height bony AS the fossil OF Il mas
:, todon and considerably more angular
/. He was clad i'm IL withered suit of plat
= homespun, With his pants they Wel
- pants, not trousers) tucked In his boots
), and he sharnbled along as if he We're q
= deadly loss just what to do with hi
. gigantic hands and feet. Nevertheless:
!, he looked as If he might be able to hol
q his own i'm hand-to-paw encounte
: with a Rocky mountain grizzly bear.
one of the young scientists took hin
a in hand and asked him his business
: for the giant did not appear to HAY
. visited the institution merely for tn
:, purpose of inspecting the exhibits. Th
N giant said that he WAS from the here
q nbefore- mentioned island. lying off tn
Il coast of Virginia. and that he wa
looking for the young scientist who ha
been there few months before. havln
collected number of specimens f,
him.
The mischievous young man of Sc
:. ence who had the giant in hand COZ
~ ceived an idea.
IAN right" he said "I'll take yc
4. to him. BY the way, do you know
3 Miss Penelope Sadheart down 20,
m Way?'
An ShO ly GO sun, WAS lhe bioHl
e. reply.
ID "rhat so?" said the mischief make
10 "Well, I'll tell you. The gentleman 70
want to see met that young lady dow
:, at your island, and he'll be glad
III know that you know her. Now, l
l show you where his desk is, and wht
m you meet him it'll please him if yt
I'll ask him if he knows Miss Penelol
M Sadhcart"
~ '.Ne'y Well, sut,--Ah'l ask him." 81
IL, the giant.
~ Then the mischief maker we
rs around and gathered together about
r. dozen of the scientific corps on lit
| gallery directly overlooking the de:
nj of the object of Miss Penelope Sa
n hearts affection
=. Then he showed the giant where
~ find the young scientist, who was bu
/. lily engfiaged in sorting over some spe
IL. linens ON his desk.
r. The giant from Virginia clonped u
lie stairs to the desk of the young scie
tist. for whom he had collected sor
specimens, and shambled up to whe
the young man sat.
10 The young scientist looked up. al
he went II bit pale. Probably he had
q, sudden glimmering idea of breake
IL, ahead.
~ ''suh," said the giant, solcmnly a
- dressing the nervous young man
4