The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1905-08-05
GUS

= Mrs. Jenls You acted aWfully silly
when you proposed to me. Mr.. Jenks
We'll, I Was!- Cleveland Leader.
HeD4 you read all the popular
novels Of the day7 She Gracious, mol
/ have Just time to see how they end.
---Ezz @
He-Ab I sat there aloLe, Hilda
came along and offered me penny
for my thoughts. She-The extraya-
CANT credturet-Boston Transcript,
Old Gent My poor childi DID not
Senr parents leave you anything when
they diedi Poor ChildYep! Dey LETT
me an orphanl-Boston Transcript.
"oh, papa, the duke has proposed to
mel" He has2'' Eyes, papa. And
he says can wear a coronetl Here's
the pawn toicks for itv'-C Cleveland
Leader.
Duffer-I've been figuring on the ex
penses of an automobile, and And
the greatest cost 10 the operation. Puff
fer-MeGhanical or surgical 7-indian
apolis Star.
Jim-Say, Bill, wot would yer Ok
II yer had million dollars2 Bill
oh, s'pose I'd blow about half "
1t maxim meself sick an de other hal
tryin' ter find out wot wuz de matte
wild me. Elk.
what does the first expert say?
''He says the prisoner Ia guilty" "Ant
the second expert?' "Not guilty
There's a third expert, isn't thers1
Eyes; b. says both the other expert
are liar R"-Houston Chronicle.
Oflce4-What Is the complaint here
Orderly Offering basin)-Taste that
sir. Officer (tasting)-Well, think it.
excellent soup. Orderly-Yes, sir
that's tho trouble; they want to pei
guade rls it's tea.-Glasgow Evenin
Times. \.
Il Fond Young Mother with her frs
horn)-Now, which Of US do you thin
he Is uke2 Friend 0udicially)-Wel
OF course, intelligence has not reall
dawned in his countenance yet, bu
he's wonderfully like both Of you.-
Punch.
] Broadway-Too bad about old Got
rocks. Manhattan-Why, what's th
matter with him? Broadway-H
started In to make enough money
retire on, and made 90 much that he
got to work overtime to take care
, it.--Life.
q (which do you think counts for tt
h most In life, money or brainsT" "Well
e answered Miss Cayenne, II see {
). many people who manage to get G
a with cd little Of either, that am b
q ginning to lose my respect for both
Washington Star.
r Guest this is the fourth time T.
rung fer Ice water! Bell Boy kno
d It, sir, but tine hotel Is full of Peep
e that were at that same banquet, ar
e every time / started down the ha
e to your room somebody reached o.
j. and snatched the pitcher!-Detrc
l. Free Press.
The Actor-Look here. old man,
!" wish you'd lend me Ave dollars in a
u vance, and take it out Of my III
weeks salary. The Manager-But, n
dear fellow, just supposing, for t
% sake Of argument, that l couldn't p
d you your first weeks salary-whe
would be?-Life.
The managing editor wheeled
d chair around and pushed button
% the wall. The person wanted entere
If Here" said the editor, "are a nul
TO Der of directions from outsiders as
to the best way to run a newspaper. s
o. that they are all carried out" A
1t the Office boy, gathering them all IN
a. large waste basket, did so.-Wat
ington Life. q
d, 'Give you q nickel?" said Miss
at Style; "oh, no. I never dispense p
m1scuous aims. Why do you not {
#, tain employment" please, mum
to was the tim1d reply, II have SIN
N baby, and people won't be bothered
woman with a child" Then, y
absurd creature, why not leave
child at home with Its nurse T-Pl
ne adelphia Bulletin.
-. Gen. "Phn" Sheridan was at {
y time asked at what little incident
- he laugh the most WELL" he SO
~ 1T do not know, but l alws
{" laugh when l think of the lri
y man and the army mule. v
y riding down the line one day, whel
saw I'M Irishman mounted on MI
"a which was kicking its legs rather fl
w w. The mule finally got its b
ISL caught In the stirrup, when, in the
IN element, the Irishman. remark
We'll, begorrah, If you're goin' to
On, I'll get OF!
- "Its mighty easy to make mist
w. In a person." remarked John A.
81 Call Of the New York Life Insura
COMPANY q few days ago to a frie
I'A ats like the case of a sea capt
l once knew. He got married late
=, life and progressed little further tt
tIR IL