davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1905-08-20
No Money for Hanged.

When an employe of the Pension Of
fee dies. Il tax Of 25 cents is imme-
dtately levied upon every one of the
other clerks. This nets a sum between
$500 and S4o0, which Is turned over
without reservation TO the family OF
the deceased. This has been a prac-
tice FOR many years. and the clerk is
as sure that his family Will receive
this sum upon his or her death as the
stockholders of the Equitable are that
they will receive dividends, perhaps
even more so. You never can tell
There was one case, however. in which
the family Of a man who died was de-
MED the usual funeral contribution. It
happened that the man had been hanged
for murder. An effort was made by his
family 10 obtain the money. but the
request was refused. The money which
he had contributed to the mutual burial
fund was, however. returned 10 the
family.
Due 10 the eXertions of number OF
the energetic employees the Pension
Office is provided with a full fedged
apothecary shop. 1t IS as we'll fitted
our as any drug store in town If a
clerk has q headache or a toothache.
or faint, or whlttles away a finger, or
has any Of the other human ills or accl-
dents, all he has TO do is to apply TO
the apothecary shop for a remedy and
he IS Immediately supplied with it.
The Washington times., 1905-08-20

mere IS a scampering of feet and the
thud of the ball in the second baseman' {
hands. but the umpire has nothing to
say on the subject, so the runner IS safe
at second. and the play goes on across
the plate, when one coach tells the run
ner to get way of and another admon-
ishes him TO be careful.
Again the bat cracks. and there is a
much longer interval before the ball
strikes than before. There is a Spat
away out in center fleid a good running
eaten. ana n SpGt against second. A
double The runner had thought the
hit safe and had started for third.
Wo 2One-a goose egg this tiae.
The next man up hits out the first
BAH pitched and 1 hear it ricocheting
along the diamond. 1t is nip and tuCk
between the ball and runner to first,
nut ihe sortstop is quick and the runner
is out.
so the fun goes on. Occasionally there
Is a lightning play that myStihes me,
but the small hoy usually sets me right.
A baseball audience cannot but express
us applause or disgust as the game pro-
ceedS. so before the beginning OF the
second inning | am using the eyes of
score of people about me- without having
any of thom conscious of the fact.
I can occasionally hear the rush of
line drive that is very swift, but usually
l do not know where the bail has gone
until / hear it strike. If there is the
spat Of Il ball in a bare hand in deep
field. and then q dull thud, | know the
neIdeT has mqtted ny l should know
this even if I did not hear the gro6ns
from the players admirers or a howl Of
delight from his opponents.
'Of course. curves and crops are lost
upon me, but ] can tell very accurately
as TO q pitchers speed and distinguish
speedy from a slow ball by the difference
In the spat when the ball strikes the
catcher'S mltt.
The Washington times., 1905-08-20
Mistaken Identity.

Public opinion is as much of 4 factor
in the Pension Office as il is in the
world outside. 4 very little thing will
make or mar a reputation almost as IL
reVocably as IL does out in the world
1t may be that circumstances arise or
proof be brought that the opinion Of the
Office in general has been wrongly
formed. Perhaps many OF the clerks
change their minds on the disputed
point. but there Is sure to be large
number who will always shake their
heads and say. 1T may be, but don't
you remember the time that he" and
so forth and so on. until they wind up
with an unqualified statement that they
still think the first opinion was the cor
rect one.
1t happened some time ago that a very
attractive young woman from a nearby
State received an appointment to one of
the desks IN the Pension ONCE She
came and took her place with the rest
of the employees But on the second day
after her arrival as she was entering the
building an elderly man said good-morn-
ing 10 her. calling her by the name OF a
woman who had recently been tried for
murder. The old gentleman had known
this woman. and the new clerk bore a
certain resemblance to her.
She, seeing his age and that he could
not hear well. did not try to explain his
mistake to him. Nor did she recognize
the name by which she had been called
She responded pleasantly. He asked
how her brothers were In the country,
and she. having two brothers and think
ing that perhaps after all he knew her,
replied that they were very we'll. Then
she went 10 her desk. forgetting the
whole affair.
The Washington times., 1905-08-20

TO my left. This makes things ship
shape and 10 my liking. | can then tell
most of the plays as they are made and
how far away The sound of the snat Of
tie sphere is from me. Occasionally it
Is hard to tell whether a certain play is
made by the shoTtstOp or second base
man. but there is usually some clue that
makes it clear
nerves are keyed TO The highest pitch
and my ears strained 10 catch Ihe
slightest sound.
one BAH cries the umpire. That
was a wide one, of course. and is easy
enough.
% 'strlke. shouts the umpire.
Now. l am puzzled. Was it called
upon him or did he strike and miss? ?
\ small boy near clears up all doubt
by rnutterlng disgust5dlS, stand there
like a wooden man and let him call
strike on him! I'd have struck at that
The bat cracks like the report of a
rifle and the fraction of q second later
there is the clear-cut sDat of the ball on
me of the two shots in Capt. Jack CTaW-
ford. 5 famous double they come so close
together. 'Outy cries the umpire.
This Is another easy one 1t was right
in the pitchers hand.
Another man steps To the plate and
thud. shouts of delight from the small
boys, and the umpire cries, Dead ball!
Take YOUR base"
Il Immediately picture the player
either either limping to the initial bag or rub
bing his ribs as he goes.
Now get way off, cries the coach
Go down with his arm!
"Spat goes the ball on a mitt at my
right. Hello! the pitcher is trying to
catch the runner off first. This part of
the fun [ do not care for. so l am glad
when the ball is shot over the plate
again
The Washington times., 1905-08-20

the. Pension Office when the guard is
not looking. Later she returns and car
ries the baby eff to her home There
are older children found there. too, and
they have the time Of their lives play
ing games IN the large opea space
Also tie court is used as rendezvous
by the women narketers. Woman is Il
distinctly social animal. even when she
IS marketing. and most Of them like to
hunt in couples whether it be for men
or for meat. With market basket on
arm they hurry into the court and wait
there for their friends to turn up Nor
is II alone when they are starting for
market that they visit the Pension Of
fee Going on the plan that they should
finish where they began they wander
back to the Enclosure later IN the morn
ing. Their baskets are no longer empty,
but ladened with every vegetable known
or unknown. meats and chickens. The
clerks sitting in their offices are fre-
quently startled by the squawk or the
crow of one OF these feathered purchases
on the way to the pot.
All one end OF this court used to be
given over to the wives of old soldiers
and sailors for a restaurant. Every day
they brought fruit and sandwiches for
the hungry clerks, but this has been
done away with now. or rather trans
ferred to another part Of the building
During the summer months Judiciary
Park between the hours Of Z 80 and re-
sembles largely a picnic ground Seat
ed under the trees on benches or on the
green grass. scores OF the clerks eat
their lunches and chat about the wealth
er. their work, their vacations. anything
that may present itself to their minds
The human foot is unfortunately not
always a thing of beauty and a joy
forever. especially when the owner is
sitting fat on the ground with the foot
in question propped up in front Of him.
There are fat feet. broad feet, feet that
are big enough to walk by themselves,
all on view in the park, and If you fol-
low them mp you will find a PensioH
clerk at the other end
The statistician, if called upon to COM
pute the number of ceurtships and mar
riages that so on within those red
brick walls, would have his hands full.
Along this line the Pension Office has =
coeducationaI college left at the post.
There are SO many opportunities offered
coming 10 and going from the Office for
the formation of attachments, during
the lunch hour. out in the parks, even
in the Office itself. Nor are the men ana
women slow TO take advantage OF them.
Like a great family or a small nation,
the employees Of the Pension Office work
and live in a number Of interests en-
tireIy shut off from the outside world.
There are, of course, exceptions TO this
rule. But for the most part they be-
come much attached-peEhap 1t is only
accustomed-to the Pension Office ana
whether they get married or go away
the clerks almost inVaria bly, come back
to visit the scene of their former labors
sometimes TO remain.
The Washington times., 1905-08-20

THE beautiful curve Of the ball whsN
the center fielder makes q perfect rain
bow with the sphere against the summer
sky and drops il fairly in the catcher,s
hand: heading off the man from third
of course. I cannot see. but the principal
thing was the out, after all.
IL can always tell whether ball is g
high fly or A low drive by the time IL
takes III going. and many other detaliS
that would surprise you.
Sometimes. when / have been unao
TO get n seat in the grandst3nd ana ana
occupying Il bleacher opposite thlrd' 9
little eyesight would be most handy. ls
IS when the bat cracks ViclOuSly. ana
feel Il start among the spectators aoous
me and cry of Look out. ttoin .
dozen I9S.
why should I dodge? I am as likssE
TO dodge the wrong way as the right
So I simply put both hands ever thaS
portion of my cranium from which mag
azine articles and BOOKS are supposed to
proceed and wonder vaguely what Is
would feel like TO be shot through by
tcn-inCh shell.
Il do not care about my arms or legs,
but my head and stomach j am partieu-
lar about / have been hit several times
by batted balls. and once wild throw
over third struck me IN the forearm. but
this fact saved the home team the game
as the bases we're full and the BAH re-
bounded toward the baseman. / had No
intention OF interfering with the play.
but naturally gave my arm a forward
motion when the ball struck it,
Il am usually tired when the last man
is out. but no small boy on the bIea cha-s
feels better paid for coming than do.
So you see. after ALL my method OF
seeing 2 baseball game Is very simple
and depends largely upon my making
the most of all ! hear aud OF seeing al
eyes. without as much as saying hy
your leave.
The Washington times., 1905-08-20
Under an Assumed Name.

But not so the clerks who had heard
her answer 10 that name. The news flew
Ike fire that a woman who had been
tried for murder was in their midst
Quicker than a ralnstorm comes up in
July petition was drawn mp and signed
by hundreds Of names and brought TO
the chief clerk This petition said that
the woman who had been acquitted OF
murder was i'm the ONCE under an as
sumcd name and that It was the wish
of the rest of the clerks that she he
quietly given an indefinite leave of alb
sence.
The chief clerk read the petition and
then called the young woman in question
TO his office. There she was charged
with being in the bureau under an as
sumed name. When she denied the truth
of this statement. she was told that she
had acknowledged her true name when
recognized by man who had known her
before she came there The man to
The Washington times., 1905-08-20
a Gretna Green.

Did you ever see a wedding perform
ed In the great open court Of the Pen
sion Office. that open court which has
been thronges once every four years
with the crowds TO honor the incoming
President OF the United States7 They
do happen. however. though in the past
few months none have been soIemnized
there.
The Pension once is. after all. A
Gretna Green. Fer il IS not the en-
ployes who are married in the great
open space through which they hurry
TO the Offices every day of the week. 1t
Is the runaway couples from the cour-
try round who come TO Washington to
get married. that seek what they most
cesire in the Pension ONCE, a clergy
man. And they find him, For there
are number Of ordained ministers
among the men who serve in the Pen
sion Bureau.
The first thing that a runaway couple
-inteasion matrimony-do when they
reach the city is 10 purchase a mar
siage license Sometimes the man goes
TO the court house by himself to OBJ
tain the license, leaving his hancee at
the hotel But frequently it happens
that the couple go hand in hand to
register and take out a license. The
clerk Of the court IS often asked where
the nearest clergyman can be found
and as Ike as not he viii point 10 the
Pension once. a stones throw away,
across the green parking He may
even tell the happy pair the name Of
the clergyman 10 be found there, And
then the young couple HE themselves
TO the big brick building TO find their
man.
The Washington times., 1905-08-20
Cheer the Brushing Bride.

II the minister consents to perform
the ceremony. he brings out his worn
Bible and leads the man and woman
out into the court and then and there
I4.arries them,
If the other clerks in the Office get an
inkltng that a wedding is under way
they swarm out from their offices and
peer down upon the little group below,
almost lost IN the great Enclosure. They
make comments upon the bride and
groom. not always iattering, bat often
pertinent. And when the groom and
the clergyman kiss tie blushing bride
there IS a great clapping of hands. and
maybe a cheer or two. And the startled
pair glance up to see the lines OF faces
The Washington times., 1905-08-20

a great burst OF enthusiasm. sing the
national airs and listen to a patriotic
speech from a popular orator.
1t IS reported that at one of these
patriotic meetings a large Cuban, built
on the barrel plan, stood near the foun-
tain which fer 50 many years has been
the playground of a number of gold
fish, and also the scene Of q wild chase
OF the Merrimac by the Monitor. He
was raised right out of himself by the
stirring scene; in fact. raised so high
that he lost his balance and fell with
loud splash into the pond. With some
difficulty ne was rishted and hauled
out upon tho floor.
The Washington times., 1905-08-20
Depository for Children.

Nearly every day dozen or more
small children may be seen playing
around in the court OF the Pension Of
flee. Indeed the court is a regular de-
pository for the children Of some OF
the mothers who live in the neighbor-
hood. When the mother wants to go
down town shopping and does not wish
20 leave her small child at home where
she may fall on the stove or swallow
q match or do any Of the other things
children like TO do. she quietly leaves
the infant comfortably in the court of
The Washington times., 1905-08-20
Hotbed of Patriotism.

Quite naturally the Pension Office Is a
hotbed of patriotism. And the great
open court is frequently the scene of q
burst OF some that patriotism. When
ever the anniversary of an event which
stirs the heart Of the patriotic Amcci-
can approaches. preparations are made
for a saengerfest. There are daily re-
hearsals of the Star -Spangled Banner" :"
Columbia" and other songs calcua ed
TO make any man or woman feel all over
In spots. If it IS warm weather. the
leaders in song congregate daily about
the benches in the park just outside dur
ing the lunch hour and tear off a few
yards of melody.
When the great day actually arrives
the army of clerks assemblies at the ap-
pointed hour in the court. and, amidst
The Washington times., 1905-08-20

band lying stretched out on the bed
with his arms crossed upon his chest
and u handkerchief tied around his
head.
She Immediately thought that he must
have q toolhache. Going TO the bed she
spoke to him. He told her, in sepuichral
tones, to go way and let him alone.
lie was dead, he Informed her Think
ing that he was joking his wife left him
for an hour. When she returned he
would not speak TO her at all, but lay
there perfectly silent, not moving a
muscle. She became alarmed and sum-
n0ned help
The man declared when he was forci-
bly, disturbed that he was dead. had been
dead for some time, and they might as
we'll leave him alone. Couldnt they see,
he said, that his Jaw was tied up like
that Of any other dead man. He con-
tinued to insist that he was dead. and
finally Was confined in an asylum for
treatment.
The Washington times., 1905-08-20
No Corner on Sanity.

The employees Of the Pension Office
have no more of Il corner on sanity
than an equal number of other men and
women who are not on the inside OF
the rcd building. Occasionally one OF
them develops a mania. A man who
had always been looked upon as thor
oughly sensible one day left his desk
and went home during the office hours
This in itself did not prove him insane.
for it is often dons by men who have
pressing business. But when his wife
arrived at home she found her hus-
The Washington times., 1905-08-20

been soldiers and whom the Government
service now provides with a means OF
livelihood. Some Of them still suffer
from old wounds. And occasionally one
of them becomes seriously ill and the
ambulance must be calledl 1t may be
that the sick man reaches the hospital
or his home alive or it may be that he
dies before he is carried from his Of
fee. Several case of sudden death
have occurred in the great building. it
is after all not surprising in View Of
the large number of persons who are
gathered there.
A few of the most enthusiastic clerks
had brain wave and decided that what
was needed most was a hospital right
on the spot, Consequently a canvass
was made Of all the women clerks in
the office to get funds for the estab-
Hshment of the said hospital. The
money came in. A room vas set aside
as hospital An !rou bedstead was
purchased ana everything about the
room made as hospitabIe as possible
But the bed stood for z long time un-
used and finally from lack of interest
the hospital died natural death
The Washington times., 1905-08-20
-7l7777777z : 77=s1s77-s7777777 -

with water. and as lar as the eye could
see there was no land where land had
been.
Then the wind and the water said TO
each other,
10. there is an end oS man, civiliza-
tion is not one. two. three.
But they were mistaken for by some
odd chance the flood had not touched
the United States Pension Office. but
the waters had stood straight up on all
sides Of 1t Ike immense walls. And ali
the employees of the bureau had thus
been saved, and with them the civiliza-
ton OF the earth. For be it known the
Pension Office is a complete world by
itself. Not in numbers, to be sure,
though there are 100 men and women
employed every day in the great barn
like structure, but in the diversity and
completeness of types and Of professions.
It is doubtful If there is a single in
dustry in this Industrious world which
is not understood and has not been
praeticed by at~ieast one of the en-
ployes of the Pension Od1ce. There are
doctors. ministers. lawyers. carpenters.
boat builders. printers, bakers. in fact.
every trade and profession has It's repre-
sentatives there.
Just as there are all kinds OF men
and women TO be found In this one
great building, so there are happenings
of all kinds and descriptions there day
by day. II Is truly a world complete.
The Washington times., 1905-08-20
In the Big Red Building Where Pensions Are
Granted MdyBe Found Representatives
Of Nearly Every Variety Of Pro-
feSsioR and Trade Known
to Modem Civilization.
to Modem Civilization.

looking down at them from the floors
above. Seeing what has happened. they
duck for cover like a startled flock of
cartridges.
If you should carefully watch the feet
of the Pension Office clerks YOU would
be surprised to see at times members
OF the fores with feet apparently not
mates. Not that they are physical
freaks. but merely because they have
on shoes that do not go together. Oc-
Casionally a man hurries by with one
black shoe and one tan. or a woman
with a high boot on one foot and q
French-heeled slipper on the other. OF
course there is a reason for this besides
eccentricity.
The Washington times., 1905-08-20

- LARENCE HAWKES.. Of Had
4 ley. Mass. the writer and lee
turer on nature subjects. is to-
tally blind. yet is fond of at
tending baseball games. He gives this
account Of how he is able to follow the
game:
For one who is totally blind 10 say
that he has been to see a game of base
ball sounds Ike a contradiction of
terms, yet there is no one in the grand
stand or on the bleachers who sees
more of the same than ] 90 of a sum
mer afternoon.
Il do not see q 3 much of the side play
as the others. but from The moment the
umpire calls Play ball and the first
BAH IS out, ! follow every play that is
made with a minutcuess that often
makes my companion for the afternoon
feel a bit creepy and wonder if the Old
Nick is not standing at my elbow
prompting me just as he did Faust in
the duel with Valentine. But my meth
ods are all legitimate and OF the earth
earthly.
Il always try to secure such a seat
that the diamond will be a geometricaI
figure before me. and not on skew
Then / can keep the players and their
positions from becoming confused Op-
posite first and third bases and directly
behind home plate are my faEOTite pO-
sitons,
When I am behind the plate the
catcher, pitcher. second baseman and
center fielder are directly in front of
me, each a little further off than the
last. and the first baseman and right
fielder are to my right and the third
baselnan. shortstop. and left fielder are
The Washington times., 1905-08-20

whom she had spoken in the morning
was brought forward She explained the
circumstances Of her answering to a
name which was not her own. But to
little purpose. Then she said she would
telegraph for her brother to come Snd
Identify her. Her brother was q well
known man in his county. Even this had
little effect though it made a few Of the
less positive clerks - slower in their
assertion.
4 telegram was sent 10 the brother
and sure enough he came and identified
the young woman as his sister. Auclo-
gfes were made 10 her and the matter
Strengthened out as far as possible. But
there are clerks in the Office TO this day
who shake their heads when the story
is told and venture the remark that
there was something remarkably pecu-
liar about the whole affair So firm a
hold has pHblic opinion once formed up
on a community.
The Washington times., 1905-08-20
Pension Office Hospital.

As for doctors, there are any number
Of them in the building who can be call
ed upon in case of necessity. And too
frequently the necessity arises. For
many of the Pension clerks are men
well past middle age, men who have
The Washington times., 1905-08-20

Y the year Of our Lord
1906, there came a food.
and the winds blew and
the waters rose until
they covered the earth,
And man and all his
The Washington times., 1905-08-20

HAWKES.. of Had
ley. Mass. the writer and lee
turer on nature subjects. is to-
tally blind, yet is fond of at
The daily Alaskan., 1905-02-11
Cbe Gburebe$
CATHOLIC

CATHOLIC. Early Mass, S:S0 g. m. High Mass, l0:S0 A ID. Sunday school, l2m. Lecture and benedietion, 7:So p. m. All are cordially invited.
 Father P. Fl. TurRell, s. J.
The daily Alaskan., 1905-02-11
GOSPEL SERVICES
 ON NEXT NfEK

Preparations are perfected for the Rodger meetings to be held in the Presbyterian church during the coming week. The introductory "neighbor- hood meetings" have developed areat interest in the various sections of the city resulting in total attendance of over l50.
 The opening service at the church will be held tomorrow evening. Owing to the fact that Mr Rodger will be uG- able to leave WhitehorSe before Nor day, this service will be cOriucted by the pastor.
 The singing will be led by a large chorus of 2 voices.
 Similar meetings will be held each evening of the week, Monday excepted.
The daily Alaskan., 1905-02-11
Railroad Restaurant

Best meals in town served from a. m. to 10 pm. Tray orders a speciality, l0c. extra.
 John Williams, Prop.