Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1905-05-19
A Tale Of. Tails.

up To his ueCk' III tlniclll business
mostly gopher t;.ilsH AS he goes 1"
and from his office he is often heard
repeating to himself. zone lail-.Lwo
tails. three tails-sufe you didn't cut
This one in twU?" etS.,- etc. 1t Is said
that the genial audf1pr has concluded
t. adopt q coat-of-ardhs as the head Of
the Pitts family, and that it will be a
gopher tail ratnpanE with the legend,
by Godfrey" tratKyersely inscribed
thereon. A goodshdre Of the majors
time is put In co4nting the little
tufts that were SO aftive when their
owners were alive. SOmetimes lie is
SD completely sutfounded by the
caudal appendages defunct flicker
tails that you can see only the part OF
him from the speetasles up. He was
feeling very sad Tuesday, the cause
therefor being that his old friend
Billimus Yeater, the Hazelton mer-
chant, came down sop him Monday
evening with somewhere nearabout
acouple Of thousand flickers. He says
lie wouldn't have felt, SO bad about it
had the man been a stranger, but a
venerable citizen like Billyum ought
to know better that to rupture
his dignity chasing around over the
prairie trying to run down gophers
and catch 'em by hand. And the fact
that several Of the pieces brought in
by Mr.. Y. looked as though they
might have been ''divided" did not
tend To mitigate the auditors down
castness Of spirit and diminishing
faith in human nature. !" The lnajor,
1t is reported, is getting q little Bit
nutty on the subject Of gopher tails.
they say that when he measures of
lis garden beds he hxes their .dimell-
sions at 50 many gopher tails in length
and breadth. He can also tell you how
many times around The earth and To
the sun and back the gopher tails
eliminated from the parent trunks
III North Dakota this year would go
aud then some. He wanted Deputy
Inspector Wade, when the latter was
down here, to try to persuade Dave
WelIman, his principal, to make 60
pller tails the standard Of weight.
But you should see the flash Of his eye
when some wicked cuss brings in a
batch Of dried-up tails that them
selves bear mute evidence to the fact
that they were clipped last wear and
tIence are illegal. He says there
should be as stringent aud drastic
legislation against attempting TO
pass counterfeit gopher tails as there
IL for the punishment OF those who
seek to circulate spurious money. [By
the way, that word drastic sounds
familiar, for the state newspapers al
ways use 1t In referring to libe | lexis-
latiOll. and the doctors quote 1t when
There should also, he Lhinks-as the
lahOring on the Sabbath-be a pro.
vision In the statute allowing the
auditor to refuse all tails captured
W. sSOssN'sys o''''s VII lAssuso
constitute u legal days labor, that
official should be authorized t., refuse
all tails that have been rounded up
before Z IA. m. or after 6 p. m. Our
code also provides punishment for the
OverwOrking Uf children uf tender
years; and the official is Of opinion
that the law might we'll be applied to
the multi ude II Emmons county kids
who are lah,ring strenuousIy from
daylight until dark capturing tile
frisky twotcemters, and sometimes
pursuing them In their dreams. The
auditor believes that, with the
bounty law amended along these
lines, II is "a good thing for wheat:'
and he will endeayOr to get the lnenl-
brrs who may he chosen from tbs
district Il, the next legislative session
to procure the adoption OF the changes
suggested above. -
N. B.-This was written last Mon
day, the. day the law expired. The,
major Is now getting down to his nor
NAL condition.
- --''--,-.-s