The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1905-01-13
TOMMY ON RUSSIA

Tommy was asked by his teacher to
write composition on Russia. Tom
ny was thorough youth. and had
listened carefnlly to all the discus
sions on the subject at home, and had
also read the newspapers on the sub
5ect. So he proceeded at some length
70 state his Views. as follows:l
Rcoslsy Is kuntry bownded on the
North b ice, on the East bi trubble,
On the sowth bi the sooEz canawl and
en- sshe West bi Ingland and kipling.
It Is a cowled kuntry alwaze and
Eite now it haz cowld fete awlso the
hnpres haz cowId chilli doun his bak
becawz he is afrade sumboddy mite
silk q nife in him or thro a bum at
him. they thro fotz of buns in rooshy.
purity 1aitly long bout the time tina
elozed lakeside park nyhilist throed
bum at mister yum plays carridge
The bum busted and everybody with
; zn blocks was hurt but tina wuznt no
polees hurt. tina Never is. the
nIHyist that throed the bum was
rested since Then he has comited
sofside 8 times ben xycuted twist and
.escaipt times but he is still in jale
and Twin
ntHylsts is strange people they
Don't do nothing but ware read shurtz
an throw buns. yum playvy Staid ded.
ennyway, All the peaces tina fowned
u him waz plenty ded
fe,t, :, ,.a,.t
L finland becaws tina are so menny
6sch there. the Peepl of finland is
sailed finnish.
When a rooshian sees people frum
1Itare and sees tha are finnish he SEE
see yure finnish wich is true neerly
a1Saze
mats where that sayin started i
Bet
The imprer or Rooshy is Ear. he
speIz il Car becawz he fowned out
that the zemtvoce spelt thare naim
with zed and he wuddent spell his
the saiIn wa. heze soar on the zemst-
Eoce becaws tina want rooshy to b
Irez kuntry for 1ooze and awl stead of
KILN UNI like tina did at kish Neff.
hut the Ear wants to boss the hole
hhHsin mach and paw SEE purity soon
TIA wont b nun to boss If Paw was in
r1ushy he wood be zemstyoce.
Cess he wood fer heze alwaze fer
EDt doant win out.
paw is a dimCrat
the larceny is shear. laitly tina
Ent new boy baby that bass 2 gro
ND TO be big he-Zar. ide halt to be
Him
4 Ears bizness is to send owt gun
beses to shute fishermun and pla like
fl,a think the fshinbote is a tarpeter-
bpte. paw SEE it's cowerdIy
Ears bizness is awlso to hay buns
tilrned at Him. that's wot ide call
bum Job.
prs SEE lie gro up to be a Funny
nrru sIrln day
lots of Tooshy is what the Biography
rawis tundries. wich is planes cuv-
gerea with moss that the kowse Get.
xEru town in rooshy is NAMED moss
bow and spoze that's viii.
Hay ami that bowls up fer the
rooshins and tina don't emmy of us
foxes speek TO er. cawz she amt lib
ri IN Her yuze.
paw sails he hats emmy boldly that
amt hhral in thare vuze and he wont
speek 10 EN- neether.
die wor in manChewinye poart
1rklter has quit fallin. it fell a long
Time evry mite abowt ate O'Clock. hurd
sttE bofze on the streat say so with
Tie noosepapers.
Wish was a noozeboi then it wud,
dent be rong 2 ". wen poart arther
lei the japineeze fownd oanley fu
men and tina was haff-starved and six.
awlso tina fownd fifty Thowsen men
an hail and harty.
the paypers sed soc
fha want emmy provfzzhuns butt
3iiat was thare wud hav lasted foar
muHths.
the Papers sed soc.
II waz CRATE defens but stessle
Eax covered fer surrenderin.
The Paypers sed SO.
paw says lie Bleezes awl the Pay
Rerx sez. but just believes EN- between
Z edishuns wen the next edishun
comes owt he bass 2 change.
time rooshy had imprer soc full
III hot ARE and that smoaked so
mulch he was called peter the Crate.