St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1905-11-03

| And now another railroad |:
coming to the coast from the east
Wonder what we will do with then
II they all arrive in a bunch9
There is barge called Siwash
but il the usual odor of the Siwash
indians hangs around the barge il
must be awful hard on the freight.
Aye bane goin' Astoria now two,
tree mont-but Aye nafer seen nc
twenty-eight feet bar ane dat place
yeti Aye tank Aye wood ef cine
bane darl
One of Our exchanges is running
a column "Some Dog Tales" Did
you ever bite into one of those
pesky dog tails when tackling a bi,
Of bolognal
Move up in 'front.'" said the
conductor-and the big woman
glared at him as she asked IL he
thought that was bargain sale
in corsetsP"
a Seattle woman drove a bur
glar from her room the other night
by biting him. Think OF being
bitten by a mad womaul Now
watch Tacoma crowl
"A man killed a coon, west of
Eugene, that weighed 30 pounds. I"
Portland Journal And we sat
beside one in a street car the other
evening that weighed 1875 pounds.
What Of itl
"I'lees To Meet Death" was
a heading Saturday in a Portland
paper. We wish all the neas
would meet dea,h-and there are
many people who just itch to get
hold of 'em.
Down in Dallas pheasants enjoy
education-at any event the birds
can read. This from the Dallas
Itemizer: 1--WE have printed notices
that will keep chinese pheasants off
your farm" Sho!
SATURDAYS Oregonian said that
according to law no liquor could be
sold To miners. We believe
miner has just the same legal right
to buy liquor as do oh, mebbe
the Oregonian meant "minors." s."
The presents Alice Roosevelt,
brought home were very valuabl.
until they went into the customs
house. Well, everybody depreci-
ates their property when the
assessor comes round, don't they
There were a few democrats last
year who forgot To vote for RooSc-
velt-but who carried life insurance
policies. After all, we didn't
really need their vote or their
money although the latter came to
us,
The other day a couple of girls
from out OF the city slipped into
the 81, Johns Pharmacy and sat
down. Br'er Jackson looked at
them a few minutes, and in an ex-
pectant tone OF voice asked il he
could do ANYTHING for them. They
said nothing. thank you; we're
just waiting IL was near an
hour later that he again asked il |
there was something they desired |
I'VE are waiting for a car"
answered the younger of the couple. |
why, two cars have gone since
you came in protested Mr.. Jack
son. "lndeed" calculated the
elder: I'VE are waiting for the car
to come in-your sign asks people
To wait for the car inside'r'
Aud then the saucy things left
inst as Mr., Jackson tainted.
Associated press dispatches
stated that the value of the gifts re-
,eived by Miss Alice Roosevelt
Turing her foreign visit were OF
such high value that the duty
would reach 500, 200. Secretary
raft asserted, however, that it was
merely a mess of trashy, cheap i'm
ta,ions-really not worth invoicing
Mice wires her father;
father, dear father, the presents I've had
Were enough 10 make me cut capers;
hut oh, goodness gracious They weren't
worth as much
As those men have made out in the
papers,
he pearls, the nicnacs, the Jewels galore,
While seeming To me very handsome
lad actually very small intrinsic worth
Yet the presS called the stuff "a kings
ransom,"
ntil the two drayloads were put on the s
thought I'd have nervous prostra,
ton
at now they are safe; henceforth I'll \
In the tenets of predestinationl
nd father, dear father, wasn't TO !
blame:
Those folks thought me fair As they
make em"-
ence, when they hrough, in those
proofs OF their love A
couldn't do less than 10 take 'eml
nj father, dear father. hope you're
not mad
That youll no, walk the fioor sad and
Slouchy-
there's one thing on earth that makes
me feel glum ID
It's to see a man brainy--but grouchy!