The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1905-05-26
COULD REALLY SHORE.

COULD REALLY SHORE.
Washington Star: The fat sleeper
in the middle of the smoking car was
snoring like a lumberjack after the
spring drive.
The man with the store clothes and
the black glazed bag, in the seat be-
hind, regarded the fat sleeper curious
ly.
Right smart OF the snore. hey?" he
remarked to his seatmate, who nodded.
That is to say" went on the mar
with the black glazed bag, he's some
on the snore as snorin' goes back this
away, but his work sounds like a
jewsharp alongside a bass drum in
comparison With the snorin' o. Ficks
Pluffey, out my way"
"Eicks," commented The seatmate of
the man with the black glazed bag,
mus ha' been a some noisy slumber-
err"
That's what Ficks was said The
man with the black glazed bag. "Ficks
holds the Kansas record for snorin' at
all distances, from a jump TO four
miles, and there's a heap o. powerful
snorers out in Kansas, at that. Ficks
Pluffey druv a coal wagon out in
~Leavenworth. and he lived next DOR
t me. So l ought L know. Ficks KEEP
me shorin' up my shack with railroad
ties for five years. on account of his
snorin'. AT that. I'icks snored so hard
one night that the blamed wickieup fell
in on me VILE l was in my bunk, n
l like to've piped out right then. That
was when the town got together and
made Ficks sleep out in the woods.
1T was a real drawback L Ficks, his
snorin'. 1t sure vas He was always
gettin' into some kind of a mess along
o. his snorin'. l never will f'get the
I i,,,a 1a 1y.nlya M oil S1la no I-a1Yr 1lnrcGc
at Fort L~eavenworth. h soldiers
havin' what they call monkey-and-Cos-
sack drill on the p'rade groun' on the
Fourth @ July, n ticks Pluffey took
a run up to the post to look it over.
Vile waitin' fr the boss soldiers L
show up Ficks picked out a soft piece
o grass under a tree over L the left O.
the p'rade groun', and from chewin' OF
blades o grass and loafin' there in the
shade. What does I'icks do out git t
slumberin'. He was off in a spot by
hisself, and nobody knowed that I'icks
was anywhere near the post.
We'll. h HOSES with their riders
came a-rompin' out, a hull regiment,
and purity soon they got t dom them
fancy circus tricks, a-slowin' the bosses
up some SOS L be able L hang on.
Well. sir. ev'ry n O them soldiers was
a-standin' IN his cad on his hoss's
back, the bosses goin' slow and eve
IKE, MIleil-ti Id-Id-IS-WS tle
trumpet call that meant Charge 1t
was on'y Ficks wakin' up II lettin'
out a tina snore blast, but the bosses
didn't know that. and neether did the
soldiers, fr it sounded jes' as much like
the trumpet call L charge as the
charge itself. Now. all @ them bosses
in the Fort Leavenworth cavalry had
charge t them was like what a par
keeps bungstarter I'D be L ME and
you. 1t started EN-.
"Ev'ly one O them thousan' and odd
bosses jes' give one big jump at the
sound, and away they vent, ev'ry last
on their heads on the hosses' backs at
the time, | think I Northumberland
eN'ry n o them comm burned peril
u near L breakin' their necks. The
bosses. not KNOWN what was dom
without their riders. stampeded FIR the
tall brush fr fair. and most of EN- ran
about twenty-five miles before they
was corraled. and that wa'ant till five
days later on. Most O. the soldiers had
t go t the hospital fr repairs, bein'
all bunged up from fallin' on their
heads, and you kin bet the kunnel q
the regiment was more than ~red-head-
ed about it. Then an officers kid that
had slipped up clus L Were Eicks lay
told the old mar that it had been Ficks
Pluffey that had sounded the charge
.a-snorin', and Ficks had I slim up t
and stay there a month or SO
till the thing bowed over. or the SOL
diers would sure ma killed him.
We'll. even vile that hard luck
Ficks was UP in Atchison he couldn't
keep out o. trouble ON account O. his
snorin'. He came so near wreckin' a
freight and passenger train by brinRin'
'em t'gether headon that tho railroad
folks threatened t send him Z state
prison FIR life if he didn't make a move
back L Were he came from.
1T seems that f'icks was sleepin' one
night in Il clump o bushes alongside
the railroad track. when n long freight
train pulled up cluS I Were ne lay.
There was d hot o or somethin' the
matter with the engine. and the freight
had t be stopped right there on The
main track.
The overland express from the other
direction was due right then. TOO. and
a brakeman was jes' startin' forward
with a red lantern t signal the passen-
ger train t pull up until the freight
could get under way L make the sidin',
Wen. 10 n b'hold, the whistle O. the
passenger train was heard i'll the dis
O. the passenger train sort O got Ficks
Pluffey t dreamin', as he lay there
alongside the track, and durn my
whiskers If he didn't in his sleep let
out a Snore that could ha' been heard
ten miles, and that meant all right
track clear-we'r on the sidin'. The
freight crew was so kertiummoxed fr
a minnit that they didn't know which
way t turn, but they heard the passen-
ger train a%-thunderin' down upon them,
and the brakeman he'd ies' time Z rush
forward, wavin' his red lantern with
his might. and stop the passenger
train. the engine @ which came Z a
halt OnV 4bOnt an aiUhfh rF ., ;,,,L
away from the helpless freight engine.
1t was the narrowest shave ever know
ed in western r~ailroad!n', and Wen the
W crews investigated the source a.
the snored whistle and found Ficks still
asleep. they booted him awake and
him somethin' s~candalous. and
pOor lTicks was warned Z git out a.
Atchison before daylight
Literary Strenuosity.