St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1905-05-06
BY MARGARET E. sANGsrER

learn what to say? how can | max,
myself popular and entertaining ?" ar,
questions often and sorrowfully nut b,
the girl who owns herself tongue-tiet
anu deplores the fact Some girls cal
talk very well on large subject tina
mas interested them and with which
tney are familiar. But in order to d.
TINS they must have time, place ant
opportunity. There must be somebody
else to whom the large subject makes
an appeal, and who likewise has giver
1T sufficient study 10 talk about it with
Intelligence, if not with enthusiasm
A girl OF this solid, subs .antial type
IS very much in the pc iticn Of per-
son who has bills of generous size in
her pocketbooh, but has TO small
change. Occasions arise when small
change Is indispensable to comfort and
whan one cannot easily get about the
world without its convenient aid. In
q street car, for instance, ffty-dollar
Dill might be useless, when nickel
would carry one miles on her journey.
Inc small change of conversation
enables one to say a light aNd cour-
tous thing quickly; it implits some
daleist for banter and repartee and it
is little dependent on use AMI wont
on Knowledge of the everyday eircum-
stan' es OF those about us, and on SYM
pathy with the m 9od ) o, those we meet.
Inc girl who knows herself to be
tongue-tied. though she regret It, need
not despair of popularity. Nobody is
socially more disagreesb'e and mere
dreaded than a woman who talks too
much, monopolizing the conversation.
taking the foor herself and firmly hold
ing 1t and giving no one else chance
to spaak. People fly from this over
gifted and aggressive talEer. A mere
cnatterbox is equally disliked.
sOod listener is always sure of
appreciation. If you can but master
the fine art Of listening to each person
with an air Of deep interest, just as if
there we're nobody else at the moment
in the wide world, and as if your great
est wish were 20 unders tand what the
other is trying to tell you, you will
have the effect of talking we'll All
that is really necessary is not to let
your attention wander and at the right
moment, in the right places. make
some brief rejoinder or affirmation. |
You need never fear that you will be
thought too silent if you listen well |
and say yes or no at proper intervals |
A good listener is never bore, while |
u great talker frequently gains that |
unhappy distinction
Girls are sometimes tongue-tied be-
cause of Indifference. A bashful man
ner, up to a certain point, is attrac-
tive. But when it has its root in a |
hampering self-consciousness which
makes one awkward and clumsy or
surly and defiant, 1t is fatal handi-
cap. Whence springs the overpower-
ing difidence which lays its weird
spell on some girls cannot tell. Cir
cwmstances have little to do with 1t.
Here,lity may have much. One finds a
girl brought up in town and accus-
toned to meeting strangers and kins-
folk all her life victim of this
wretched bondage, while girl Of the
came age, coming from a country home
and background of solitude, may be en-
tirely free from it.
!; Iremembe. o &c in a visit to noun
tain land Of the south to have seen q
beautiful girl ride up steep hill path
and dismount at the door Of the house L
where l was staying. She, entered "a /
room which happened to be filled with
n thrcng Of people most of whom were
unknown to her, and, standing within
the doorway, in a clear. sweet voice.
without shade OF embarrassment, she
rave a message from her mother. Adj
dressing the mistress Of the house she
said what she had been sent to say,
and then, with graceful and sweeping
courtesy, took her leave, mounted her
horse and rode away. THAT" said one
az the ladies, lis the prettiest thing
ever saw"
! It was pretty because the young girl
In question, who had never in her life
been 80 miles from home, had not
single vestige Of self-consciousness
| am often asked by tongue-tied girls
what they can do to overcome the diff
eulty. Perhaps the most fatal thing
IL to try to talk merely for talks sake.
Never open your mouth unless you
really have something to say, Is good
r,,le for the novice. Interrogate your
isalf and see whether you have any
facts or theories on which you may
draw. Ones vocabulary is greatly en-
lareed and improved by reading. A
eirl Who seldom reads will naturally I
nossess q limited stock Of words, and
her language will not always be well
chosen. It matters less whether one
talks very much than whether one has
the exact phrase st hand to ut ana
clothe her thought.
Some Of us are singular1y unfamiliar
Nth what is going on about us IN this
most entertaining and interesting Pc
riod. No one can have very much to
tank about who does not daily read the
newspaper. Current events at home
md abroad, discoveries, inventions ana
the various things that belong to the
forward march Of civilization, should
interest girls. / do not care very mucn
whether q girl is learned cr brilliant
81 clever 30 long % she Is interest !