davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Paul tidende. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1902-1928, 1905-07-14
Gn 6orre6er / Gamobrnesbe=

Gn 6orrGber / 2anbbrmesoe=
parte1nentet. Gi olntalte for en- Sio
iioen, at set bar fonmet for Dagen,
at Ser fra 9lgerbr1gsoeportementet
bar l9ffet Meo6elel1er no ON forfiel=
lige ltatiltiife ltnoerlggelier, inr1ig
be0reren0e 8omul6, ion1 loo al Spe-
f1lanter bar benDt1et til at ifaffe Zig
Jor6ele De0 @an6elen Sefret9r
.Wilfon los piebliffetty Ell 11l16eriD=
gelie al1ltille ON bpem Ser bob6e ilab-
ret al Sfole ON Sil1g lom life noatte
paret offe1ttliggiort fgr efter en bis
Si6s Iorleb. Set er bepilt at Meo-
oeleliene er fonlnet fra oSiiitere,1oe
5tatiltifer 6. g. @ol,nes, ser bor
gipet oem til en 8onntl0snegler i
Seem Oorf> Gan 9fiper, lom iaa at
ter far la0et 6en gaa pi6ere.
&olmeS er itrar blebet afife6tget.
St. Paul tidende. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1902-1928, 1905-07-14

etatc Sanf Vi seattIc cr 9fap=
net poa ct mt ifanoinapilf @anffore=
togeloe, lom aabner fine 9gre i
@eattle, @olb, s. II. Suli. Set er
boucologelis 9toromnno og Suen-
ifere, lom bor tilpeiebragt Sen for
npcne aapital, 100000. Gems
&rulioent er 6. 9. @rpnoab(, &ice-
prolioent Spbu @rifion og &aslerer
q. $. Soel6erg.
St. Paul tidende. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1902-1928, 1905-07-14


MISUNDERSTANDING Nre-
itefpnerne Sen for. norife &irfe bar
/ Sc iiolte Hor slar bapt cit 6orening,
bpis Meolemmer bar iot Zig til Sp-
aape iclp at belllGg9e 5 Gel1ts ON
llgen og at faa iaa mango onore ipm
ml.ligt til set iamlne. Gorenil1ge1,
Ser bplot 9fpoe un0er Sanfunoets
Marsnsoe, onpenoer Sc in0fomne
&enge poa Sen Maaoe, iom Sore
11ingen heltelnner. Sfior i11bla1nle@
bes $500 til @e6ningelnsilionen. S S
Mor er ser inolanlet ca. $4,000 til
Snoremislionen.
St. Paul tidende. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1902-1928, 1905-07-14
lranfrisc % sgiflan6. Ser {

VruHlr1gt D9 ~ D1tl11l1 yer@ er
mi opnaaet en- Sberensfonlit 1nelIen
.Jra11friges 6erltelninilter Goubier
% gpHan6s Gelallot i 8aris o1lt, at
Der ifal afboloes Ell ao1lferet1te mel
lem oe to 2anoe ang gaaenoe BET ma.
.roffanife gpgrgs gsn1ad 6raufriee
!ers bog fprf aaaet IND paa bette efter
at Der ergibet bet @aranti for at
bets sSnteresfer pil bItpe sreipe eHereoe
nnoer Jorban6i aer1,e @onferell.
cen pqntes ot billie bIipe boIot / Eatl:
.eier
St. Paul tidende. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1902-1928, 1905-07-14
@eejerinsens Srpfferi i @aibing.

@eejerinsens Srpfferi 8aibing-
ton er / 6enne 9io @ienitan6 for
l1n6eriggelie-t gnle6ning af, at Der
er fremiat 8eifDloninger ON, at 8e-
itiffelie og @raft bab6e ipillet en-
peienlig @olle beo Sssn6fgrelie al
+2inotppe Moifiner Grpfferiet ! 5te-
BET for Saanoiatning, iom bi0til bar
paret brugt Set be6oer Jig, at Der
alorig bapoe paret 9ale ON at ino.
fbre @aifinlatning paa bette 5teb
fer ndgle Bolitifere i &ongresien,
|figbte Mftier ! en- Jabrif for 2ino.
tppe Maifiner Da bette par ifet, bleb
Ser itrar en- fraftig Mgitation for
Maiftnintning, % set npe 2inotppe.
Jtr1na engagereoe ltrar en- af Ste
gieringstrDfferiets 8etjente til at +
6riDe Ell lt9rf Bobby" / aongresien.
Man font Dog ienere paa Set rene
nleo, at Ger tffe bebgpe0es noger1
|ipeciel gepilling til at fjsbe Maifi-s
nerne for. Golitiferne i 2inotppe.
|aofnpagniet 100 @egjeringstrpf fferell.
Iforitoa, at ban BLOT funoe fibbeI
Maifinerne 81 ialt % fif ban-
|for liot 8enge. til at betale oet1,
ifuloe oe not ierse for at faa BEN. ".
'Iras aongresiel1. .s
St. Paul tidende. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1902-1928, 1905-07-14

9anif &ieefuninl 9r. Giien i Nort-
laa1o, Sregon er al Stote,1s @upers
,1er, Gbomberlail1, ,1onepnt til Meeb=
lem al @ooro Of CHARITIES ans Cor
reetions. Sfplge uAeacific 5canoina=
ben" bop0e 9r. @ilen life ipgt 0enne
llbnGpnelie, Ser fon oloeles upe11tet
for bom.
St. Paul tidende. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1902-1928, 1905-07-14
@n banif=canaoiif Tarmerfamiljc,

Gn banif=canabiif Tarmerfamiljc.
rGane6roo", Cttalpa, Gon., ontaler
en- 0unlf Jarnerfolnilie, &aslnusien,
/ Gorberrp @gnen, lom tager lGrOe-
les liplig Slrteresle alt, bpoO Ser
beorarer Ggnens 2an06rl1g, og Ser
ifer i;Gl0en noget paa bette Smraa<
&c, l,ben at 9epr0ielltol1ter for So
miljcn er meO,i 2e0ellen 6eraf. So
al ST. Gbriltian &dsmuslenS 5gn=
rer far iooleocs iaor taaet lite og
2len Hremie for @lpjning be0 uSbe
Gor6errp Glo,ping slsiociatiol." S
aorlige @'eoe. 8cgge Eren1ieta=
oerne CT pelfjen6te ser poa Ggnelt
lnm oDgtige 2on6m0,lo.
St. Paul tidende. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1902-1928, 1905-07-14
opaneiar11e uoet1 Scamp

Baron Noicn, MusIa11os Geia11si
tiI Maibington % syreos sfouislar
beo &onfere1tce11 ser, altfon1Si s5rs.
Bags TIC orbunos osbobeo eoifaoe1.
St. Paul tidende. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1902-1928, 1905-07-14
9soree % Sverige. @fjpnt llo<

9for9e % Sueri9c. Gfjg11t Ito
itgterne til en- freoelig 2ps11ing al
l(ntonSltrioen 11eppe Dar pGret laa
lple ion peo ltogangen al lio1te ll9er
er Ser 6og il1gel1, Ser for 9llpor tror,
at set bill fomlne til &rig 1nelleIn
8ro6erlal10ene. SDenife 9lrbej0ere
bor aa6enlplt erflrret oereS 8rooer-
lfabSfpleller oDerfor 6e norlfe Sir.
bejoere % uOtalt Jig mos &rig. Sra
Sperige me00eleS Set, at &rigspar<
tiet ita6ig igger at pulte til Sloen, og
at Set bar facet set RDgte n6ipre0t,
at Norge rDffer fre11 moo @r9116ien,
og at set mobililerer af al Magt,
bbtlfet benGgteS fra norif SIDE.
Sberige bar optaget ct 2oan paa 81
Mtllion Collars for nforu0lete llb-
glitter. Ser gaar ct &pgte om> at to
norife Sfficerer, ser life pil6e of-
ib9rge ltn6erlaatsforbol6 til Song
Oscar, er blebet orreitere6e. @n5-
pi6ere me66eles fra Stocfbolm, at
&opitalilterne treffer 6eres Henge
no af 6e norife Bengeinltituter.
St. Paul tidende. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1902-1928, 1905-07-14

Sil Set npe banife 8prnebjcm
Chicago, bpis Spfprelie bleb bell1,t,
tet at Sen ool1lfe &irfes Morsmpoe
iiblte Miaaneo, er ser MI fipbt @pg-
ge9rum0 paa Gpergreen elpe. Ser
betoltes $4,000 for 4 8pggelotter.
St. Paul tidende. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1902-1928, 1905-07-14

9eormanben &ruf. u. u. &ebleu,
Der MI / mango slor bar peret 2G-
rer geotltrpioenlfaber neo Soma
l1niperfitet, ta9er Mfifeo fra lin Yolt
fra Bette Sfoleaors Sl1.tning
St. Paul tidende. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1902-1928, 1905-07-14

Gpluurtb 2i9acn bor bolot lin z.
i11terl1ationale &onpel1tion 0enber
/ Sen forle6ne ltge. &ontrol=&on1i<
teell Ser bor &opcoleoelien al olle
2igael1S Mffarer, pe6tog cit &elolu=
tionen, Ser le1ere oplnltes paa oe fors
ifjellige M9oelteoer / 8pens &irfer
Ben iioite Mpoe0og, gaoenoe ro paa,
at Sen nppo1gte Jorbunosienator for
lttaD Slnoot er Ell Jie16e al set
o1t1erifanife Stems 9fenbeo paa
@run0 al Set lorbol6, bpori ban
ltaar til Sen normonlfe &irfes
StDre, og ser rette5 e1t i1tbtrn1get-
Sc sln1nooning til pe0fomlne1loe slu-
tboriteter ON at binOre, at bon faor
5G0e / Jprbltl0sienatet, iamt OPP
for0rer &ongrcsien til at peotoge
2ope, Ser bin0rer at laa0anne Gor-.-
rnoeri ifobenoe Spltemer ipm Mor=
monismen fan faa Experimentation /:
0e lopgipen0e Iorlalnlinger
St. Paul tidende. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1902-1928, 1905-07-14

Sans s. sbonpien, oanif al. 5p6-
lei, &aslerer | 6arn1ers ans Mecba-
mics 8anf / 1apenport, Soma, er ct
af Sfrene for 4. Suli Jprperferiet.
@teoens ban gif poo @aoe,l bleb ban
ranlt al eli aonon Mpegen. Sou
opoe 5. 6. SsS11li.
St. Paul tidende. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1902-1928, 1905-07-14
Ferntende Aa.rgang.
med Post % CeIe9raf.
Mllevtsae fra.)

! 2anbbrn95miniitcr 2Stlion @oiE-
tngton pil ifelge Sc iib1te Meooelelier
oerfra eltten tage lin slfifeb / ben
|nnrlncite 5ren1ti0 eller blipe tnunget
| til at frotrnOc. Oct bor pilt Jig, at
Ser / bars 9eportclnent er foregaaet
meget on1fottcn0e ltregellnnsiigbe=
Ser iom gipr oct un1llligt for baln
at bltbe gnbeoet.
Gn Easiiar pntbprb, Gn franlf
|9anper, u2a S0Doie", four iioite
l(ge in0 til Seem Dorf og n1eooelte>
at oct 1l1oerpeis fra Sapre, Gronf=
rige, ni0t u6e Sceonet bopoe paret
/ ell meget liplig &aSiior omtrent
iolntioig me0 fife frrre ems 4 al10re
Scean-Easlaoeroampere Ser giffsi
forifiellig s(flton6 ira binan0er, bel
cil1trent 500 sO1ile bar ser mellelt
oer1 ser laa xbinan0en fjerl,elt.
Sfibene ieile0e n1e0 ful0 Tort ltl1ber
Samtalen, pg Sfibeue lto0 6orbir=
oelie mes binonoen on1trent p
Silner. S Sen Sis lt0pefsle6e Sele-
graiilterne mango ipggefuloe sSno=
fol6> trl1e0e lne0 at lloo tioligere
Seilaosrefor6er 0. 0esl.
St. Paul tidende. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1902-1928, 1905-07-14

afDolDer lit Morslnpoe / 9ecorab,
Sa., s. 3. og 4. slu9ult.
St. Paul tidende. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1902-1928, 1905-07-14

&pr nge Stats,ni:iiiter. Arul ulioent
Goplepelt Dar operOraget forbenpe=
reroe Irlgslnilliltcr &ppt G!nbebet
lom lloe1rigsnliniiter / Ste0et for
afopoe Sobn @ap. Noot onles for Ct
bore ell al 2an0et5 betyoeiiglte
StotslnGno % fam er tillige Ell uf
Dor Iios melt fren1rogel0e Sltrilter.
Sc0 lin NroriS 9lelp Dprf tiel1te
ban oarlig mellem $4,000 og$1OO.-
600, 6n NrGlibent Mc&in(ep opcr-
Orog baln &rigsnil1iiteriet. @oh
traf Jig til6age / 1904.
3rinicinbtuget ug Nprbmrnbcne.
Sra StocfDol1n meboeles s. 8. eSuli,
at Ser bar truffet 5orbere0elier til
at 0eforere Sen l1orlfe Stotsn1iniiter-
bolig ser / 8pen s(nleonil1g al Sen
11Dg11fe Yrt11S GltltaO ylOolfS og bans
e11gelife @emalinoes Snotog 8pen.
Sen ipenife Gresle tog ini6lertio
laa froftigt til Sr6e moo at ser full
De beiles ct urepolutionGrt" Glog beo
SSnotoget, at ser fra &riltinnia blep
gibet Srore til at ltan0le 0efora=
ttonsarbeioerne, og pe0fonnen6e
norlfe @1nbe6smano, Ser feoeSe 9e=
forattoherne, reilte tilbage til 9forge.
Dette gtper en- goo Mao1eltof for 6e
bttre Selelier ser raa6er @pertge
moo Norge og Morom9n6ene.
St. Paul tidende. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1902-1928, 1905-07-14
&aitur 81. Snmblen, ssorltou6er

FHl1ur ". SHMuItH' TDrl1dlt0er
for 9aneboo @piifqle, 1pler, Minn.,
er afreilt til 9anmarf iammen meo
iin 6an1ilte og pil blipe 0erobre til
Sftober. @aitor q. 8obierg pita.
rierer for bam 1tnoer bans Grabn=
relie. Ser nil ingen Aigeifole blipe
paa Spler @pjifole @fteraaret, men
ocrimob til 6oroaret 1906.
St. Paul tidende. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1902-1928, 1905-07-14

ga iturt &ibeurgcl, iom bar foitet
81 1,700,blep forleoel1 inbpiet / glnau5
oonlfe &irfe / @ocire, isis. Set er
ifie11fet &irfen al bens to songfor
% &pinoeforeningen og bpgget pau
Sen bonlfe Srgel6pgger 80. g. Msl=
Ter 5abrif @agerstolpn, Mo., en-
al 6e ltprlte og melt onlete Srgelfo-
brifer Sc 1Sorel1eoe Gtater.
St. Paul tidende. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1902-1928, 1905-07-14
9cu banlfe ;Surcnimgs6ygnina

9cn banife 6urcninssbysning i
san Traneiscp. Ser bleu / lin Ii6
/ San Jraacisco ltiftet Ell Screening,
Gonil1 6oll Mslociatiou, mes oet
Sorn1ool / Sioens 2pb at fllllne faa
pprettet Ell banlf 6orentngsbpea1ing
ser 8pen. slf forlfjelltae @runoe,
life mil1olt for0i @ie1oommene ser /
8pen ltuar / iaa enorm bgj &ris, far
man ienere opgibet 0enne &lan, og i
De lenere 9lar far Selfabet peret
brebet narlnelt iom en- 2aanebanf.
6orIe6en bleb Ser bol6t @eneralmp=
De og be6 set beill,tte0es BET at gipe
@elffabet ct for 9ietneoet mere pas<
ienbe 9eap11. 5elifobet ptl berefter
be66e:: Goniib Building ano 2oot1
Msioctotior.
St. Paul tidende. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1902-1928, 1905-07-14

Gn itor banif Tolfefeit bill iaar Ii
oeiom iioite Nor blioe afbolot al oe
oanife Goreninger San Sratcisco,
og en- 6eIlesfon1ite arbeioer paa
Hrogranmet. Soften ifaI finbe Steo
8. 13. 9tll9ult. Der pil blipe ct lite
rert Grogran lneb Ealer, 5auge
ofp. 8lanbt Sorngielierne bill anta=
geIig Gug-of=sgS Grrneri1tgel1 blipe
ct af 6e Ml,n1re, Ser bil lGgge rteif
8eiag paa SSnteresien SITE 1li1tore
e11b 5 Solo (fra Daniaafoeline
og 3 ogzfra 8ro0erlaunfunosz
Ioger11e 80 % 49, bill oeltage / Gllr-
neringet Hraunielt bliber $50.
@an,pen pil fi11oe -5teo paa en- i1,o=
begnet bel palgt Nla6s: st atl0et
i1lteresiant Rultter ION ganife piH
eno1a lite er beiter1t, men ION nta1t
BOG ajdr sfeettitIga, poo bliper Ell Ell
,0ppis is,tillg af Gen banife gltb etflub,
omianelloe gpnluoi itiff q fsni11g,
grposil1e pip. oip .
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-10-20

A>' 0oAs'
In vain did archaeologists and lin
gu, IS rack their brains to find a solu-
ton OF tits cryptic inscription, which
it's di;coverer "humbly dedicated to
the penetrating geniuses of Oxford,
Cambridge, Elton and the learned So
ciet5' of Antiquaries." and it was only
when it had driven the cleverest men
in England almost out of their wits
that the following reading was sug-
gested by the hoaXer: Beneath this
stone reooseth Claud Coster tripe sell
er, of lmpington, as dotE his consort
Jane"
That too, was clever, if rather
heartless, joke which Stevens, the
Shakespeare scholar, played on Cough,
known to posterity as the author Of
"Sepulchral Monuments" Cough had
criticised drawing by Stevens ra-
ther mercilessly, and the latter forth
with planned a revenge which should
hold up antiquity to ridicule. Procur-
ing fiat piece Of stone, he scratched
on it, in Anglo-Saxon characters, the
inscription, Here Hardcnut drank a
winehorn dry, stared about him and
died." and had it exposed In shop
which Cough was In the habit of visit
ing.
A few days later Cough called at the
shop, saw the slab, which, he was told,
had been found in Remington lane on
the supposed site Of Hardicanutes pal
ace, and, overjoyed at his good fortune,
carried it off in triumph as discovery
Of rare antiquarian value. He showed
1t with pride to his fellow members of
the Society Of Antiquarles, a paper
was written on it, learned discussion
followed and the inscription was pub
lished in the Gentleman's Magazine.
Stevens triumph was complete when
he took the public into his secret and
laughed with them, but what his VIC
TINS feelings and language were it
would not have been possible to ex-
press in print
Something over fifty years ago the
Ingenuity Of antiquarians was tested
by a legend family traced on a time
worn slab OF stone which, so its dis
coverer said, had been unearthed dur
Ing some excavations in Cumberland.
This was the inscriptions:
TIL ISL. sAHAR. DNU. Toe. RIA
G.. K.
But what language was it and what
could it mean? The accepted opinion
was that the legend referred in some
way to Hardicanute or Hardnut, but
beyond that speculation even was
dumb, until the wicked joker had the
effrontery to confess that he himself
had chiseled the inscription, Of which
the true translation was: "This is a
hard nut to crack" And SO it was.-
London Answers
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-10-20
The F.es IL !. Index !.

The face is an index to the state Of
ones physical well being. Symptoms
Of disease can be detected from it al
most before the patient is aware that
there is anything the matter. For in
stance, excessive pallor indicates poor
circulation and possible heart trouble.
Incomplete exposure Of the eyeballs.
rendering the whites Of the eyes Wis.,
ible during sleep, is symptom Of all
acute and chronic diseases Of a severe
type. Twitching Of the muscles is a
herald Of nervous exhaustion. Widen
ing of the orifices Of the nose with
movements Of the nostrils to and fro
points to embarrassed breathing from
disease of the lungs or channels lead
ing thereto. Contraction Of the brows
indicates pain in the head. Sharpness
in the nostrils is symptom Of pain in
the chest. Begging under the eyes,
when not facial characteristic, points
to kidney trouble. Twitching Of the
eyelids associated with oscillation of
the eyeballs or squirting, heralds the
visit Of convulsions.-Americ Queen.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-10-20
Jealou. Of 1masinary MS.

Talk Of woman's jealousy Of her
husband" laid physician Of long
experience in New York. 1T Is moth
Ing compared to her jealousy of an
other woman's chronic ailments. Half
the doctors would starve If it were
not for the prevalence of illnesses that
are purely imaginary. OF course, it
does not do for us to tell a woman
who has firmly made up her mind that
she Is Ill that she is not Ill. In nine
cases out Of ten she would lose her
temper and consult another doctor.
Among certain women invalidism
gives them distinction which is
gratifying to their self love. They may
literally be said to enjoy poor health
They look for the doctors visit to
them or their call at his Office as the
most exciting event Of the day. II
they know him well enough, they i'm
plore him t. waive professional Ell
quette and tell them about ailments
Of other women who consult him. wo-
men of this description-and they are
legion-have craving for martyrdom,
which doctoring an imaginary illness
seems to satisfy York Times.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-10-20
A kiDliME Lament.

In Laurence Hutton's talks In a
Library" he tells as follows of meet
ing Rudyard INipliAg ut luncheon
given to the latter by Richard Watson
Glider. Another engagement made
me late, and l entered the room as the
party was breaking up. was intro
duccd to Mr.. Kipling with whom I
exchanged the traditional few formal
words. and we drifted apart, but Il
moment or two afterward he placed
himself on the arm of chair in which
I was sitting and said Il didn't real
lie. Hutton, when met you moment
ago who you were. Dear old Wolcott
Balestier, your friend and mine, tried
so hard and so many times to bring
us together in London and elsewhere.
and now he is gone, and can't under
stand it all. He died so suddenly and
so far away; we had so much to say to
each other, and now l have got to
wait so long before I can say it,"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-10-20
An Ancient Tune.

1--WE Won't Go Home Till Morning"
is not modern song; at least the air
is not modern, for it dates back to the
times Of the first Duke Of Marlbor-
ough. 1t is the old French air Of "Mal-
BRONX sen va-t-en guerre; Dieu salt
quaint reviendra" (''Malbrouk has gone
to the war; the Lord knows when he
will come home again'D. The second
verse limited that the Duke Of Marl-
borough would be long time away.
I'll reviendra-z-a la Paques, GU a la
Trinite" (''IIe will return at Easter or
Trinity Sunday). In south Yorkshire,
in England, that air exists as a chill
dren's song:
Gollie Brooks, she went to be shaved:
Mollie Brooks. she went to be shaved:
Goliie Brooks, she went to be shaved
and the barber cut her chin.
'Mollie Brooks" Is q corruption Of
Marlborough.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-10-20
Both Saw the Monkey.

II had most terrible experience to-
day." declared the pretty girl to her
boarding house companions. II was
walking along the street, when sud-
denly heard most peculiar noise.
I looked up, and there on stoop stood
q most hideous monkey, leering at me.
It startled me, and I stepped back
quickly, putting my hand to my eyes.
Then the man who was coming Just
behind me remarked:
you're all right, little girl. I see
It, too, and I've been on the water cart
for weeks Now, what do you sup
pose he meant?"
The men boarders who were at the
table answered not, but the wife of
one Of them explained to the girl later
on.-New York Tribune.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-10-20
The One Person.

There was certain old New Eng
land minister who had blunt way of
getting right at the bottom of things.
With a solemn air he announced from
the pulpit one day that a button had
been found in the collection. "Only
one individual in the church could have
been guilty Of this trick" he said, "and
I shall expect this person to replace
the button with coin" After service
member Of the church owned up to
being the culprit and asked: How
did you know was the mani" II did
not know" said the clergyman "But
you said only one person could have
done It," "Just So" was the reply.
1.-TWO persons could not have put the
same button on the plate"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-10-20
Women's Letters.

"As far as have had the opportun-
ity of judging, it appears to me that
the usual style of letter writing among
women is faultless except in three par
ticulars-a general deficiency of sub
ject, total inattention to stops and
a very frequent ignorance of gram
mar" Such is the brief summing up
of woman as correspondent, given
some hundred years ago by Henry
Tilney.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-10-20
AMUSING JOKES.

0oMe That Have Been PlayeA enj
Members Of Scientific Soeistiss.
Nothing is 20 funny to the joker as
the development Of practical Joke or
hoax, and the most learned are some
times fooled in this way, to their great
discontinue. An amusing hoax was
perpetrated on the learned members Of
the Dumfries Antiquarian society Of
London, when an alleged Greek charm,
said to have been taken from the dead
body Of ii Bedouin, was presented for
their inspection and admiration. 1t
was said to have been an heirloom in
the Bedouin's family for many centu-
ries and consisted of scrap Of skin on
which was transcribed mysterious
legend. 1t was circulated among the
members of the august body of the An
tiQuarian society until it fell into the
hands Of DR.. Semple, who, amid much
amusement. deciphered the hieroglyph-
les "a "Old Bob Ridley. O." the refrain
of an old song.
One of the best Of these jokes was
practiced with considerable success by
an eighteenth century wit, who pro-
fessel to have unearthed an ancient
memorial slab on which this epitaph
was just deciphe:able:
BENE A. TIL. TIL. ISST.
ONERE. POS. EFT.
II. CLACD. cos TER. TRIP
E. SELERO. F. IMP
IN. CT. ONAS. DO.
TIL. HI. sc.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-10-20
A Remarkable Comedy,

The most remarkably comedy ever
written is 1.-THE Visionaries," by Des-
marets, the protege of Richelieu.
Every character in the play has a hal
lucination Of one kind or another. One
is coward who thinks he has con-
quered the world, another poet who
conceives himself better than Homer,
another lover who becomes enam-
ored of every heroine he reads of in a
romance, another beggar who thinks
himself richer than Croesus.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-10-20
Quite ADDarent.

She-You know, judge, our charac-
ters are different, and don't want to
be in his way He-Yes, your honor,
she is peculiar, and don't want to in
terfere- Judge-I understand. You
ask for divorce out of pure love-
Meggendorfer Batter.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-10-20
It'd y.

els spooney's wife a good house
keeper"
"Well, should say SO. Why, he has
to keep private detective to watch his
clothes so he can tell where to find
them. She's so tidy."-Liverpool Mer.
curry.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-10-20

Trust Baking Powders sell for as or
50 cents per pound and may be iden.
titled by this exorbitant price.
They are menace to public health.
as food prepared from them con-
tains large quantities Of Rochelle
salts, a dangerous cathartic drug.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-10-20
Nothing Left hut the bark.

"He belongs to one Of our oldest
families, but he is consumptive. He
coughs dreadfully."
eyes, he says all he ever got from
the family tree was the bark
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-10-20
Logical.
Logical.
you've been kissing Margie Hun
"Oh, Nellie, what a storyw

You've been Kissing Marg1e Hun
ter"
"Oh, Nellie, what story
Eyes, you have, Robbie Dickerson.
You don't like peppermint, and she al
ways gets peppermint chewing gum.
oh, l can put two and free togevver."
Life.