davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1905-02-11

castle, noted for its wonderful herd OF
cattle; when in Northumberland they
inhabit pretty place near Cornhill-on-
Tweed their ancestral home having
now been let for some years. Lord and
Lady TankerviIle are both very fond of
music, and, as Lord Bennett, the former
was frequent exhibitor of fine NINA
lures at the Royal academy. He and his
wife have four children-two sons and
two daughters. Lord Ossulston, the fu'
ture earl, will be eight years old next
August, and his baby brother is one
year old this month
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1905-02-11
Must Be Clean

Under new rule, women inspectors
visit the public schools OF London and
inspect the pupils. Those that are not
clean are sent home. But already 1t has
been found that some of the children
smear themselves with mud before en-
tering school, in hope that an inspector
will pay visit
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1905-02-11
lIenv TeleUrams.

The British - department uses
80l0O0,000 Of )es yearly for tele-
grams alone = quarter of a million per
day.
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29
JAPAN'S PURPOSE.
ancestors.

THROUGH all of the complications incident the peace ngo
tiatons Portsmouth thing plain Japan desires peace
such conditions will be insurance against future Rus
aggreons and future The world will respect this a
tde The world meaning that part involved dynastc
bons and peace This shown remarkably by
the dying of that spirit which craved any
1t honorab testified by Edward of England when
he reaned from the Dogger Bank affair." with the
quiescence of his people.
Fifty years ago the firing the British
caused declaration of within twentour hours The
would have forced it But the people peace They
of slaughter and it's burden of debt The
the United States, and is growing to be all the world
Therefore the nation unfortunately which insists
dons of peace that shall make tranquility permanent has
human sympathy and respect
On the other side Russia talks about saving her face
for continuing get whipped Ben Franklin said there
good bad peace. When Russia refuses the
efforts of President Roosevelt end the struggle
ground that Lnevch promises win victory battle she
far outside the worlds sympathy as Japan within it.
We notice that continental Europe the lapse the negoa
tons taken advantage of talk about the yellow peril
and much sympathy expressed for the United States
what Japan do to This country has whipped
that battle with
likely be scared by phantoms AS far Asac goes
will be under the natural laws that trade anywhere
everywhere and the United States will stand footing
Japan and the rest of the world
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29
Wise Duck
Fools The
Oysters

tsT INCLE DAVID BECKENDAR-
TER was keepin' the tavern
- over Pochuck way" recited
Solomon Cribber, "and he got 1t in his
head that there want no reason in the
world why Pochuckers shouldn't have
oysters on the half shell, and he sent
and got bushel and put EN- in the
cellar. Nobody sot up very loud shout
fer 'em, and 1 took to feedin' the oysters
by hand, SO they wouldn't git thin and
disappnt people if they should happen
to be called fer, and they got to be
reg lar pets. | used to feed EN- corn
meal and 1t want a great while before
they knowed me, and every time I'd go
in the cellar and whistle they'd pop their
shells open and wait till 1 sprinkled their
meal over EN-, that bein the way they
took it in.
Them oysters eat peck O. meal day
and growed so fat that it was all some of
EN- could do to shet their shells down on
themselves. Amongst 'em was one that
was bigger and livelier than any o the
rest, and clingin to its shell was one
of her young uns that somehow or other
hadn't been shook off when she was
yanked out of her bed. and she seemed
to think more O. that young un than she
did for her corn meal. though she was
more than partic'lar fond o. that. l had
learnt them oysters to open up when
I whistled to 'em.
I'VE hadn't had the oysters in the
cellar long before / took to noticin' that
the pet duck was payin' considerable at
tention to my doins down cellar, and
every wunst in a while I'd see the duck
standin' in at the head O. the cellar
steps. with its neck stretched, lookin'
and listenin' at what was goin' on
down below, but 1 hadn't any idee the
duck was thinkin' up things more than
jest to satisfy its snoopy curiosity.
One day l was settin' in one corner o
the cellar. sortin' 'taters. when / heard
somethin' come stumpin' and thumpin'
down the steps. I looked up and see
the duck on it's way down, slow and
deliberate. The duck couldn't see me,
way off there in the dark corner, and,
noticin' that 1t had somethin' partic'lar
on it's mind, 1 sot still to see what that
somethin' rartic'lar mowt be.
The duck thumped on down the
steps till 1t got to the bottom. and then
1t wad-stepped over to where the
oysters was. 1t stopped close to 'em,
looked 'em over q spell and then piped
up that whistle O. mine so true to
natur' that 1 thought 1 must "a fer
got myself and had piped it UP myself.
In a second every oyster popped its
she'll wide open, but the next second
every one of 'em went shet with a snap
that showed that the sight o. the duck
skeert 'em out O. their wits. The duck
stood still i minute lookin' considerable
surprised itself, and then tried to fool
them oysters ag'in by soundin' that
whistle O. mine. But only one o the
family was ketched that time, and that
un was tho big oysters baby. 1t hadn't
cut it's eye teeth yit I spose, and when
the duck whistleo the second time the
little feller opened up ag'in. He mowt
"a closed right away ag'in, mebbe, but
he didn't git the chance. His she'll was
no sooner open then the duck grabbed
him and yanked him out quicker than
you kin say 'S'boy,' to a pig. g.-Maga-
zine of Fun.
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29
Sincere @uacke,y

rather remarkable case of sincere
quackery, which perhaps may not be as
rare as is generally supposed, occurred in
London some time ago.
An old lady sued Sir William Broad
bent, leading London practitioner, be-
cause he refused to buy or try her elixir.
This was no common remedy, being free
from those minerals which are the root
of all evil, but the skillful blending of
an herb of which medical men know
nothing" Needless to say, the old lady
lost her case, which she pleaded in per-
son. Her sincerity was as obvious as her
stupidity and made her a pathetic rather
than q ridiculous figure.
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29
Answers Sat1stacto,y.

A bright, stalwart young man who hao
just graduated from a medical college
applied for examination to enter the
United States navy. He was directed
to appear before a medical board com
posed of old naval surgeons.
After a careful and lengthy examina
ton the president of the board asked
rather abruptly: Doctor, suppose you
were called to see a man who had been
blown up. what is the first thing you
would do?"
With emphasis he replied: wait till he
came down, sir.
The old surgeon looked at him keenly
and continued: Suppose, for your i'm
pertinent answer, l should kick you;
what muscles would bring into play?"
1.-The f1eXors and extensors of my arm,
for l should knock you down.
You'll pass" said the old surgeon
Boston Herald.
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29
OccldentuI
ACCldentnH
BY Il. j WhTERHOUSE
DIsCOURAGING SITUATION.


SI T is extremely discouraging." re-
marked Nicholas, as he sal
In his elegantly appointed, bomb
proof chamber; lit is supremely discour-
aging"
How SO. Sire?' inquired his chief con-
f1dential CRATER.
why. the way the people act. the in
gratitude they display. 1 have followed
my invariable rule, and yet"
Nicholas dropped off into a gloomy rev.
erie.
(which rule, Sire?" the courtier asked
My imperial rule that whenever seven
of my officials have been assassinated
grant the people something more"
Il see, Sire.
This rule L have followed without de-
thing that they desire
1T is, indeed, so, Sire
That is, everything they desire with
one slight exception-an exception of no
moment
And the exception. Sire?"
''The one slight exception is-true lib
erty. 1 have not granted that because
could not
mo. indeed. Sire
mo, / could not do that, for in doing
so l should violate the great unwritten
law of the Romanof dynasty"
"And that law, Sire?"
us the law that the members Of the
dynasty shall keep unto themselves all
the true liberty that Is footloose in the
empire"
The courtier sighed So did the Car,
and as the latter resumed the dark mus
ing which had been interrupted by the
conversation the chief confidential graft
er heard him mutter to himself, THE un-
grateful hinds"'
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29
Different Speeds

Few men could tell II they were asked
how many feet per second they walk A
press photographer, whose work requires
him to know all manner Of speeds, said
recently:
THE average man walks four feet q
second. A dog in its ordinary jog goes
eight feet a second. A horse trots twelve
feet a second. A reindeer over the ice
makes twenty-six feet. A race horse
makes forty-three feet. A sailing ship
makes fourteen feet."-Chicago Chronicle
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29
ANSWERS TO QUERIES

! sons named in your letter of inquiry were
| married In Los Angeles last winter, and
/ they have not seen fit to make the mar
| riage public, that is their business, and
rot the publics. If the information de-
sired is of special interest to you address
| the persons direct This department does
! not inquire into peoples private business
| for the purpose of settling a slight dis
pute.'
| WHAT DONOVAN saba. d. F.,
! City. This department does not publish
the testimony of witnesses in cases that
come uD in court. To ascertain what
Donovan said in a certain case tried in
the Superior Court of this city call on
the shorthand reporter of the department
in which the case was tried and in all
probability you may obtain transcript
of Donovans testimony with the consent
of the attorneys in the case and an order
from the Judge.
Labor day is legal holiday In all the
States and Territories (and District of
Columbia) except Nevada, North Da-
kota and Wyoming. In Louisiana IT is
observed only in Orleans parish. Labor
day was inaugurated by the knights of
Labor by a parade in New York City
in 1882 for the purpose of showing the
rade in 1884 1t was resolved to set aside
one day in the year as Labor day and
each State was urged to make Labor
day a legal holiday. The first Legisla-
ture to do so was that of Colorado in
1887.
ALGEBRA-G. M. c., City. Algebra Is
branch of pure mathematics. The name
is derived from the Arabs, who called the
science Al-gerb-walmoku-bal that is to
say, equalizing and supplementing In re-
ference to the transposition and reduction
Of the terms Of an equation. Algebra Is
used to reduce parts to whole or frac-
tions to whole numbers. 1t Is divided into
two chief branches. The first treats of
equations involving unknown quantities
having determinate value; In the other,
called the diopahantine or intermediate
analysis, the unknown quantities have no
exactly fixed values, but depend In some
degree upon assumption.
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29

INvESTIGATOR-J. T., Jamestown.
Cal The Investigator is still published
In Boston, Mass.
CHEERS, City The cheer of the mill
itary academy at West point Is, "Rah!
rah ray. Rah! rah! rayi West Point!
West Point! Ar-may"
PEACE-A. R., City. Examine the files
of The Call for two weeks before the
date Of your note of inquiry and you will
see, day by day, the terms of the peace
proposition between Japan and Russia.
KEEL-HAUL-Sub City. To
keel-haul a sailor is to punish him by
fastening him to a rope and hauling
or drawing him completely under the
keel or bottom of a ship from one side
of the vessel to the other.
PUBLIC LANDS-F. F., Ciy. There are
public lands in the State of California
that may be taken up by intending set
tiers The United States public land Of
fees IN this State are located at 6l2 Com
mercial street, San Francisco; at Eureka,
Independence, Los Angeles Marysville,
Redding, Sacramento, Stockton, Susan
vile and Visalia.
SUNDAY-B. s. W., City. Sunday in the
State of California is a legal holiday.
Certain acts may De tranSdcteu oi SUI
day and be legal, and others not. This
department has not the space to go into
a legal disquisition on this subject. 1t is
legal to transact business on that day
which cannot be suspended, as, for in
stance, railroad travel. There Is no Sun
day law in California.
FOREIGNERS City. On the
subject of foreigners owning real es-
tate In the State of California. the con-
stitution says: Foreigners of the white
race or of African descent, eligible to
become citizens of the United States
under the naturalization laws thereon.
while bona fide residents Of this State.
shall have the same rights In respect to
the acquisition, possession. enjoyment,
transmission and inheritance of all
property, other than real estate. as ma
tive born citizens"
m
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29
More Than a H,nt

sIf should attempt to kiss you," asked
the young man, would you scream for
your mother?'
'I guess I would" the fair thing sd-
mitted, ''but II wouldn't do me much
good. Mother is visiting fifteen miles out
in the country"
A moment later something happened
Louisville Courier-Journal.
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29
THE BLISS THAT YOU MISS.
GIJMMEP of gun and asshimmer @

A GLIMMER of sun and a'shimmer Of
n shade,
And the song of thrush from the
willow,
And a place where I dream in the heart
of a glade,
With the velvet Of grass for my pillow;
And you may the care and the turbulence
see,
But the bliss that you miss Is sufficient
to me.
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29
EASY MONEY.

The Doctors Wife-I thought you said
you didn't think 1T would be necessary
to operate on Mr.. Billyuns for appendi-
citis, and you're going to remove his ap-
pendix in the morning?
The Doctor-I know, but / decided
that needed a new horse and buggy.
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29
FORCE OF HABIT

First Architect designed new ten
story building for the Whooperup Mag
azine. and what do you think the editor
did?
Second Architect-Give it up.
First Architect-He rejected five stor
les and said he would pay for the others
after publication.
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29


il in
a n
lined bishop with band cuff the wrist
while
omitted desired
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29

Townsend's California Glace Fruits In
artistic fre-etched boxes. New store now
open. 767 Market street
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29

Special information supplied daily to
business houses and public men by the
Press Clipping Bureau (Allen's). so Cali
fornia street Telephone Main 1912
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29
THE PRESS OF THE NATION.

possible
politics again
Washington
without bnp called
and presents its bill before does damageKnsas
President.-St Post-Dspatch
lead
who ducation includ eadmakng-New York World
all filed lodging bombs lodging
iis--Ch Chicago
noticeable there asrcuusts no
fsrners.-Dalas News
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29

81 4th (front barber). best eyeglasses; specs.
2Oc-5oc; other stores. So 50-ss so.
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29

The MOSQUITO differs from the doctor 1t without
and bill before does any age-Kansa City Jo
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29
SOME ALrALFA BEATITUDEs.

- in, fer they're mighty likely to git
it,
Blessed are they that are strong to
endure much, fer they probly'll have a
chance to do 1t.
Blessed are the kickers, fer they're
mighty apt to git waited on fore the
decent people in the RESTRAINT.
Blessed are they that have faith, fer
they'll need it all.
Blessed are they that don't think fer
themselves, fer they needn't feel lonely.
Blessed is he that's without envy an
malice, fer his, neighbor prob'ly1l give
him all he needs, without chargin' fer
1t.
Blessed is he that knows least, fer
he's always able to tell the rest of us
what we orto do.
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29

GIVE prayed an prayed fer John S
reformation" said the good woman.
Upon my bended knees I've asked
this crownin evidence of His grace
agin an agin.'
Has John reformed?" her friend in
quired.
I'm mighty sorry to say that he
amt. My prayers has been unan-
s'ered."
The good woman paused, and sadly
thought for a time.
Still" she resumed, after a minute
or two, Il amt as disappointed as l
should have been If I'd expected he
would reform, but someway I knew
he never would"
Perhaps the good woman was not as
peculiar in her prayers as you think.
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29

WHY HE DOES 1T.
NAJHY does the man both rave and
w want?
Why does he pause to fume and pant,
Then cut peculiar pigeonwings?
Why doth he yell: 'Marier. come!
Great guns! That woman sense
doth laek?"
Be STILL my child; be hushed and
du ID
He's dropped a button down his
back!
(JI E took some coffee for his breath.
IL Some cloves, some mace, some Odor-
Deth,
Sen-sen, and divers little tricks
That all men know the breath will fix;
Then went straight home. His wife, said
she:
.It is no use! You can't fool me!
You've had gin fizz. Scotch highball,
Four whisky straight, coffee, few beers,
cloves another highball, mace, more
beers, Odor-Deth, small bottle, a
few more beers, sen-sen, coffee, one
more highball, coffee, cloves-and
you dare to come home to me in this
condition when l can smell them
aHi''
And what 1 want to know. by jings!
Is, how sweet women know these things.
mabel said that she was determined
to marry man with past"
did she do it,"
She did"
WAS the experiment satisfactory"
"I don't know but the last time / saw
her she told me that she wished she
had been a little more particular to
man with a future
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29

The world should surely be while such perss
the Kaiser and The Presidents Dispatch
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29
THE WAY.

The Policeman-That banana skin
don't look much like wrestler, does it?
The Bystander-No.
The Policeman--And yet in the last
half hour it's thrown three men.
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29

MARR1AGElA. S. T., ciy. II the per
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29

The bakers strike may lead also the numb
whose includes bread makng-New York World
The San Francisco call., 1905-08-29

INVESTIGATOR. T., Jamestown.
Cal The Investigator is still published
In Boston, Mass.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-11-03
AUCTION SALE
AUCTION SALE
Household Goods, Horses, Harness and
Buqqies


On Saturday, Nov. 18th at o'clock p.
M, at Hotel Tyler, will offer for sale at
public auction: A large amount of house,
hold goods, consisting of iron bedsteads,
bedding, dressers. chairs, etc.. lately
used in the Winchester hotel and mostly
newly bought. Also 10 driving and
work horses, top bugges, 3 democrat
wagons, 3 sets double driving harness,
B sets single driving harness., 2 sets heavy
harness, 2 lumber wagons, l jumper, l
pair bob.sleighs. II pigs. Also large
amount of miscellaneous stuff too numer-
Gus to mention. Terms: Net cash on
all sums less than So B,nkable pap er
at 10 per cent, due Oct 1st, 1905, or five
per cent discount for cash, on larger
amounts. This will be one OF The largest
auctions of the year and is worth your
attendance. Don't forget the date.
1919 VIM. NICHOLSON,
Owner.
A. J. McFadden, Auctioneer.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-11-03
Homicide at Walhalla.

Last Saturday evening Frank Laravier
was injured in row from which he died
the following morning.
The blow that killed Laravier is SAID
to have been inflicted by George LaFleur
who, with h S brother-,n-iaw, Robt. Laid
law, were arrested and held for the pre-
liminary examination.
A small iron bar smeared with blood
and hair sticking to it was found near the
scene of the trouble and it is presumed
that LaidIaw used this when he struck
Laraviere.
At the preliminary hearing which was
held on Tuesday. at Walhalla, by States
Attorney Brynioltson and Coroner Frs
kline, LaFleur was bound over to the
district court, without bail, while Laid
law was discharged.
The principals in the case lives near
Walhalla.
Further particulars from the Mountain
eer are as follows: The testimony at the
inquest was to the effect that George Le-
Fleur, Robert Laldlaw and others were
in Smiths restaurant Lariviere came
in. Laidlaw said. "this is the man have
been looking for" and grappled with
him. Smith put them out of the place.
and parted them, and told Lariviere to
go home, which he agreed to do, but re-
turned to get his coat and hat and as he
passed LaFleur and the others he was
knocked to the ground. He was taken
taken home as stated. The jury render
ed a verdict that the deceased came to
his death by blow from blunt instru-
ment in the hands of George LeFleur.
The murdered man leaves a wife and
four children, the oldest about seven
years old, in destitute circumstances.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-11-03
Calumet
Baking.
Powder
4 wonderful powder OF rare
mort and unFlvaled strength.
horrible Heroisn.

One Of the Resolutions gunners wac
standing by his gun us the ship
sheered abreast of DE Grasses flag
ship. The gunner was all ready. just
going to fire. when shot came in at
the port and took his leg off at the
knee. AS quick as thought the nlan
pulled Off his neckcloth and tied his
leg above the stump. The next instant
he seized his shot off limb and
thrust it into the muzzle of the gun,
which went off two seconds later my
foot" shouted the man exultantly, lis
the first to board the Vile de Paris."-
Frasier's Famous Fighters"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-11-03
Son Lost Mother

Consumption runs in our family,
and through it l lost my mother" writes
E. B. Reid OF Hamilton. Me. ''For the
past five years, however. on the slight.
est sign of a cough or cold. l have taken
DR.. Kings New Discovery for Con-
sumption, which has saved me from
serious lung trouble" His mothers
death was asad loss for Mr.. Reid, but he
learned that lung trouble must not be
neglected, and how to cure i. Quickest
relief and cure for coughs and colds.
Price 50c and q. 90; guaranteed at 7. r.
Shaw's drug store. Trial bottle free.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-11-03
FRIDAY MORNING, NOV 3, 1905.
Club Papers,

TIE PIONEER EXPRESS cannot be responsible
for the stoppage before expiration or continr-
oremiums or on Climbing rates. We always
contract however that club papers shall be dis
continued at the emo OF the subscription. Sub.
ecribers should note the date of ex piration of
premium papers and if they wish them discon-
tinued refuse them from the postmaster after
they have expired, TAX ing a paper from the
son taxing it is subscriber and ther efore liable
or the subscription. Any person who pays up
arrears and orders paper stopped and thereafter
any responsibility tor further payment. In any
case OF lrregularity, change OF address. or other
business matter write to the publishers of the
nremium DaDers
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-11-03
4 Famous Beautx.

Nine de Remusat had features SO
perfect that her contemporaries said
she was worthy to sit as model for
a Greek goddess. The flesh of her
face closely resembled alabaster, and
yet she was not pale and did not give
the impression of being in delicate
health. Her beauty attracted univer.
sal attention to her, no matter where
she went, and even in old age she re-
tanned most of her good looks.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-11-03
London. for thy life,
Show me such another knife.

The London cutters, to show tn t
they were equal to their Shefl.e,!
brothers, made knife with sirg'c
well tempered blade. the blade hnvi, g
a cavity containing a rye straw tyrn
and half inches in length. wholly sur.
rounded by the steel: vet, notwithstan
ing the fact that the blade was wei
tempered, the straw was not burned,
singed or charred in the least. 1t is
needless to add that the Sheffield CIT.
lers acknowledged themselves outGone
in ingenuity.