The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-29
PEEP INTO THE MYSTERIES
OF THE SHOW BUSINESS

| Queens Contest, Country Store, Public
Wedding. Etc.
Now in the words of the old orators.
that advertisement is full Of meat It
is almost as interesting to the laity as
It is TO show PEOPLE out of work. We
all know what "spielers'' are but the
terms "Ballyhoo people" are a trife OBJ
scure
wild west people, does not neeessarf
" imply that applicants must be full
FLOODED Indians. although these might
be able to get engagements We dare to
assume that good Rube" must be a
comedian capable Of playing rustic parts
In manner to tickle the popnlace The
man needed for getting up the Queens
contest Country Store.' Public We'd
ding,' etc, is of course a hustler who
must arrange for these affairs in order to
awaken local interest IN the carnival. I
may have neglected to state that this Is
carnival announcement we are consid-
ering. By eleeting queen among the
village bellies, starting a country store in
charge of some good church ladies' and
having two rustic lovers wed before the
crowd, 1t is easy to see how attendance
on the carnival will be stimulated.
One of the most curious advertisements
states that "a pocket pants greaser and
! ribbon and the ironer' are for sale. It.
or they can be heated on the gas jet or
lamp and costs % cents by mail What
/ this combination consists of is a puzzle,
but 1t must be some toilet necessity that
Is convenient for
Another novel advertisement tells us
that gentleman in Louisville offers to
arrange head-end collisions of genuine
locomotives which are copyrighted and
| are guaranteed to draw the popuiace.
This Is characteristic:
Wanted for Ten Nights in a Bar Room
Company: Band and Orchestra leader.
| clarinet, trap drums. second violin to
double second cornet, bass drummer to
double stage or porter on car Show
runs all year around; car show; just
closed two solid years and never missed
salary day. No boozers. State all in
first letter.
Now that looks like a good proposition
and 1t is easy to see that the advertiser
is a man of strict business methods. He
does not want to bother with too much
correspondence so he says, state all in
first letter." Likewise, he announces en-
phatically that topers are not wanted.
Who could withstrain delightful lit
tie thrill in perusing the following an
nouncement?
For sale.-Soubrette wardrobe; dresses,
silk and satin, fine new goods; bust size,
"a to SO; also hats slippers, hose and
other articles. The lot for SIS eye godsD
Also, black art outfit, $40.
Alas, what misfortune must have over
taken the poor little soubrette that her
silk and SATIN wardrobe" Is sacrificed
on the hard altar of adversely for only
SO! Verify, she must have been ION the
pig"
Here's enterprise:
"Wanted-For the - Vaudeville
company, Red Hot Comedians that
double in band, drums or brass.
Applicants for those jobs must be
warm propositions and in addition to
being comedians they must also be musi-
clans who beat drums or blow horns.
Reading along casually. one is startled
by the news that mind reader is want
unwel and not able to read the minds
of the people. Applicant must join at
once and start to reading without de-
lay, as the matter is urgent.
A glance at the tragedy of the show
business is afforded by the announce
ment that "Sober-Up' will make the
drunkest person sober in five minutes.
The hint is too obvious that performers
who are ''over- taken" at the wrong
moment can put themselves in shape to
go on by taking a little "Sober-Up."
But these are only few of the quaint
and curious advertisements that greet
the eye. Hundreds ana hundreds fill the
pages, all of them stating various wants
of the profession There are business
cards, business ammo .ncements, adver-
tisements for positions, property for sale
and scores of miscellaneous announce
ments of interest to show people, all OF
them redolent of the stage and canvas
tent. PAUL COOK.