davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-11
a String Of Good Stories
THE CATCH QUESTION.
= 8. cannot fell how fhe truth may b.
y say the tale ~ sfWas said to mo. y

Ohm E. VANCE of the civil service commission Of Little
- Rock does not believe in catch questions IS
Catch questions, he said the other day, .are too
cruel Furthermore, they catch everybody good and bad
alike. Hence they fail Of their purpose
~ once saw very sharp examiner examining some an
pcants for the police force tested them in arithmetic
and geography and IN freehand drawing and then he said
he would test their hearing.
He took his watch from his pocket and held it to the
ear of a tall handsome young man.
DO you hear that tick?' he said
$ Yes; perfectly the young man answered
!" He held it foot from the applicants ear
8 Still hear itq' he asked.
Yes sir
. Nov stand back three PAGES.
The young man did so.
Now, said the examiner, do you hear it from that
distance ~
1.-THE applicant listened ntently. Then he smiled and
nodded.
$ q still hear it, sir he said
You have the most wonderful hearing came
across said the examiner That watch has not been run
ming for three weeks =
ADVANTAGE OF BEING BALD
ERANK A. VANDERBILT, at the end Of the American
Bankers association convention in Washington said
of optimism:
sane optimism like and cultivate, but there is such
thing as foolish optimism, and that frown.
would be foolish optimism to insist that bull move
ment will keep on forever, just it would be foolish opm
ism to see anything advantageous in a bald head
" Yet such optimists exist once heard man praise
badness recklessly.
" Il have decided, he sad that badness is wise pro-
vision Of nature
- s How 500? said l.
s WELL, said he bald man has no hair except below
his hat brim, chg
Eyes I agreed. s
$ And barber shops are draughty places9'
{" yes So. o..
They very apt to give one cold9'
= Well, bald escapes the draughty dangers Of
barber shop because he get his without taking
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-11
WE'LL EXPRESSED

TITLE Girl CATER watching her mother peel potaoes-
- Why, mamma, there's one you didn' It unwind
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-11
IT MADE A DIFFERENCE.

p OBBIE's father had a drop in to see him. After
they had chatted few minutes the guest was offered
the only cigar the table, Robbie upstairs
fresh box As the boy reached the top stair his father
startled to hear: qst2s
(Which kind papaq Do you those you smoke your
self, or the kind you give away9''
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-11
POPCORN TREES.

T OokING out into the orchard bright morning in
early spring little Mary, aged 8, noticed for the first
time the wealth Of white blossoms covering the plum and
cherry trees She studied them thoughtfuy for moment
and then, turning her curly head, questioned
=@ Mamma, IS that where popcorn growsq' =
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-11
HE SAW NOTHING.

6HARLES M. sCHWAB in an address at Ioretto ra;a.a
! ~ fesoureefuness
resourceful man. he sa .lets nothing discourage
In the most untoward conditions he thinks and thinks
ne nus on an expedent which turns the very unto
Wardness Of things into help.
Let me illustrate this point with foolish story that
yet has a lesson in it,
mother, fearing that her pretty daughter had be-
60 young man Of inferior station hired her
little son. boy Of s. stay in the paror thront on
expected visit Of the unwecome sutton
boy carried out his contract duly and at 10 o,cloc
and sleepy he came to his mother his
Did you stay in the parlorq she said eagerly
s Yes; all the time, he answered.
Well, what happenedq'
We played blind mans buff said the boy .and was
lots OF fun' but they kept ttit'' the whole time
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-11
THE OTHER KINGDOM.

He teacher had been instructing the class about the
three kingdoms Of the universe and to make it nain
she said Everything schooroom belongs to one of
the three desks to the vegetable kingdom our
states and to the mineral kingdom and little Alice
she added looking down at the child nearest her. belongs
to the animal kingdom Alice looked quite resentfully
and her filled with tears she answered Teacher
ink you are mistaken for my says that all little
children belong to the kingdom Of heaven =
NOT SO FAR OFF
GILBERT describing the first wedding he had ever
NJ seen.
And the that married. he said il conclusion.
chad cocktail coat
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-11
GOOD CHEER.

HE and heir had just his Christmas dinner Of
~ which he had partaken mot wisely, but too we'll,
Daddy he said you may carry me upstairs but
please don t bend me ~ 90
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-11
NOT DAZzLED.

ELECTRIC lights had recently been established in the
- little town where Ethel lives, and Ethel was eager to
impress her little visitor from neighboring village with
the Importance Of this improvement.
We have 'ectric lights in church, she exclaimed
with boastful pride.
That's nothing proudly retorted the little visitor
I've have acoytes in church, and my little brother is
one Of Them
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-11
. TURN ABOUT FAIR PLAY.

late George W. Gait who gave his body for dissec
t1on, was sufferer from i'll health for many years
said physician Travelling here there he made almost
as many medical friends Robert Louis Stevenson did
Paris.
physician called at business office one day
s and said:
Pardon, Monsieur but, in settling my quarterly ac-
count yesterday, this bad 1O0franc note
The business man took the note and examined It. It
was bad undoubtedly He handed it back the physician
m sorry, he said. 4 made the mistake uninten-
tionaly believe But it's too late rectify It now
The physician started. Too lateq he exclaimed hotlv
What do meanq Must suffer for your mistaken,
Why not7' said the other calmly 4 suffer FOR YOURS
And did take anything off your bill IN conse
Iauenee7' =
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-11
EMULATION.

MlIL1E's grandfather is fine old gentleman, with
W little bald spot right top of his head. The boy
's fond OF the old and hopes that day he will be
just like him Some time he went the barber to have
his hair trimmed.
want you to cut It just like grandpa's,'' he said
with little hole in the middle - s&..@i
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-11
THE VERY KIND.

Sunday school teacher asked the class tWhat kind
Of boys go to heaven?' And one little urchin yelled
out dead boys''
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-11
THE THINGS WE EAT.

GREGORY E.. OWENS, food Inspector Of Manchester,
~ had an odd experience the other day.
He examining the meat in small butcher shop on
back street The greater part of the meat fairly good
but there lot Of pork and beef that was rather
questionable 49, .s.44.s.-.
The butcher stood outside with customer. The In
spector called him in
Look here', he said what your opinion Of this meat
here?'' $50
q: The butcher looked it
II forgotten all about that he said is pretty
old stock z@.@
!.Wel, what is your opinion Of it7''
my opinion " said the butcher slowly lis that it is unfit
for human food; but it might do for sausage
A HARD STRUGGLE.
slkH EN- who glasses not attractive to women,
lVl said the comedian Joseph Coyne, in Washington
club. y" Fat men, too, rarely please womankind. u
.The former fact forciby brought home me on
railway journey recently.
1The drawing-room Of the was riding in was oc-
cuped by bride and very pretty he ugly and
Weak-eyed, but millionaire.
"From where sat- it possible to overhear good
deal that went the drawngroom This is one Of the
things overheard:
sOh George, why do make faces at like that7'
II can help it. darling Ny glasses falling off, and
j don't want to let go Of your hands, =
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-11
WELL POSTED.

interesting story that bears the prodigaty Of Robert
a w Chambers literary output narrated in a New
York club the other day.
0ur literary page out Fridays said the night
editor Of newspaper and Thursday night long after
the literary editor had home, the makeup rushed
up to and said:
Look here there's about inch to be filed on the
Ido7' 8.
t1our literary editor very particular that no mis-
eelany ever should appear his page He insisted it's
always being book page purely So in this dilemma the
makeup and stood and racked brains, trying to
think Of three literary add to the depart
1nent.
In the midst Of trouble young compositor turned
from the keyboard Of his clicking machine.
look here, SIR he said; you won't make any
if you something about another absorbing novel from
the Of Robert w Chambers rapidly nearing competion
and to be put the market in two weeks =
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1905-09-23
Proposals for Vacci-
nation.

Ting School Board for Worcester
County will receive bids at their office
in Snow Hill, from qualified Physicians
for vaccinating the pupils of the
various public schools of Worcester
County. vaccine to be furnished by the
School Board, on Tuesday. October 10th,
1905: at O'Clock p. NJ, for the follow
ing Districts:
For Snow Hill, Coulbourn's. and
Newark Districts.
For Pocomoke and Atkinson's Dis
tricts.
For Stockton District.
For East and West Berlin Districts.
For st. Martins District.
The successful bidder for each dis
trict or group will be required to visit
the schools in that district or districts
on or before December LIST, 1905, after
giving due and sufficient notice to the
teachers of the date of his visit to said
schools. After such visit is made, any
pupil requiring vaccination shall visit
the office of the physician and said
physician shall vaccinate the pupil with
out additional remuneration other than
the sum set forth in his agreement with
the School Board for performing such
service.
The Board reserves the right to re-
ject any and all bids.
BY order of the School Board of Wor-
cester County,
Il. w. McMAsTER,
It. Secretary.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1905-09-23
To Democratic Voters.

Notice is hereby given that Demo
cratic Primaries will be held in the sew
eral Election Districts of Worcester
County. at the usual voting places, on
SATURDAY. SEPTEMBER 23d. 1905.
from o'clock. p NJ. to 6 o'clock. r.
NJ. to elect delegates to County Con
vention to be held in Snow Hill on
MONDAY. SEPTEMBER 18th. 1905.
for the purpose of nominating a County
ticket for the various County offices in
which vacancies occur, and To select
delegates to the Democratic State Con
vention. which will be held in Baltimore
on
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 2sth, 1905.
BY order of the Democratic State Cen
trail Committee for Worcester County.
JOHN r. MOORE. Chairman,
SAMUEL j. TwILLEY.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1905-09-23
Attacked by Negro.

Because Bessie Wilson, the pretty Is.
year-old daughter Of James Wilson. an
employee in cannery at Seaford. re-
fused to take tomatoes from John Par
IRISH, colored. he brutally attacked her.
Parrish is carrier in the cannery, and
at the refusal he became angry and
struck her in the face and breast sever
al times. Grasping pairing knife which
she held he cut deep cash in the palm
of her hand. The negro then escaped
to the woods. Aroused by the attack,
the citizens threaten violence If Parrish
is caught.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1905-09-23

The bridge over Stirrup run. near Dr.
Warmers, in Hartford county. was
washed away by a recent rain.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1905-09-23
WILL BOOM AMENDMENT.
Campaign Committee Organizes With
Ex-Gov. Jackson Chairman Head
quarters Opened In The Hotel Rcnnert.

The new Democratic Campaign Com
mittee. which is to lead the fight for the
adoption of the suffrage amendment to
the Constitution, met Wednesday at the
Hotel Rennert and determined upon a
line of campaign.
BY unanimous vote ex-Gov. Elihu Il.
Jackson was chosen as chairman of the
committee, and Mr.. A. s. Goldsborough
was made secretary. The rooms form
erly occupied by the dock loan and sew
erage committees at the hotel were Sc
cured for permanent headquarters and
was opened Thursday. The education
al past of the campaign is to begin at
once. and the enthusiasm with which
the members of the committee discuss
ed the plans argues that no stone will
be left unturned to bring the fight to a
successful conclusion.
Governor Jackson announced the APP
pointment of the following committees.
whose duties will begin at once.
Executive committee Frank A.
Furst. chairman: Ex-Gov. Frank Brown.
Joshua w. Miles, James X. Wheeler.
Il. J. Chaisty. Lloyd l.. Jackson. S. 5.
Field. Ex-Gov. John Walter Smith.
Congressman J. +. c. Talbot. 5. Mitch
ell Diggs. John J. Hoffman.
Financial committee Ex-Gov. Frank
Brown. chairman; Ex-Gov. John Walter
Smith, james X. Wheeler. Henry Clark,
Henry keidel, w. Cook Sanderson.
Buchanan Schley. Gen l.. Victor Baugh-
man. Oliver l.. Rhodes.
The executive committee held its first
meeting Immediately after the adjourn
ment Of the general committee and dis
cussed preliminary plans for the cam
paign. This is the committee which
will do the greater part Of the work.
and it is expected that daily meetings
will be held The headquarters will be
kept open night and day and a corps Of
clerks and typewriters will be engaged
AS chairman of the executive committee.
Mr.. Frank A. Furst will have large
part in the management of the campaign.
and his experience in the dock loan and
sewerage fights is expected to be in
valuable.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1905-09-23
Beware OF Ointmcnts For Catarrh Ths
Contains Mercury,

rs mercury will surely destroy the
sense of smell and completely derange
the whole system when entering it
through the mucous surfaces. Such
articles should never be used except on
prescriptions from reputable physicians.
as the damage they will do is ten fold
to the good you can possibly derive
from them. Halls Catarrh Cure,
manufactured by +. J. Cheney & Co..
Toledo. o.. contains no mercury. and is
taken internally, acting directly upon
the blood and mucous surfaces of the
system. In buying Halls Catarrh Cure
be sure you get the genuine. II is taken
internally and made in Toledo. Ohio, by
+. J. Cheney & Co. Testimonials free.
Sold by Druggists. Price 75c. per bot
tie.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipa-
ton.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1905-09-23

THE ladies of Cecil and other coun-
ties on the Eastern Shore are taking an
active interest in the political contest
now on in behalf of an amendment to
the State Constitution, limiting the right
of franchise in large measure to white
voters. In Cecil the ladies' are having
basket picnics which are attended by
numerous persons and addressed by
eloquent speakers. This is hint to
the ladies of Worcester.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1905-09-23
No Unpleasant Effects.

If you ever took DeWitt's Little
Early Risers for biliousness or constipa-
ton you know what pill pleasure is.
These famous little pills cleanse the
liver and rid the system of all bile with
out producing unpleasant effects. Sold
by Paul Jones, Snow Hill; Lloyd 4
Blaine. Pocomoke.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1905-09-23
COME TO THE
RACES!
AT
Snow Hill Driving Park
Tuesday, Sept. 70.
Commencing at 100 o'clock. sharp.

First race 300 minute class. purse,
$500.
Second race 2.4O class, purse $50. 90.
Third race free for all, purse $45. 90.
Five per cent. of purse must accomp-
any each entry, and five per cent. adj
ditional to be paid by money winners.
There must be four entries and three
to start in each race. Races to be
governed by the rules of the National
Trotting Association.
BY order of COMMITTEE.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1905-09-23
LOTS FOR SALE.

! offer at private sale or lease. all the
vacant ground own on Washington
St., with an alley on Market st. Part
of ground next to McAllen's runs back
6S feet, and the part next to Livery,
runs back 100 feet more or less. If not
leased or sold privately, will be offered
publicly later.
MRS. +. A. ROBINS.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1905-09-23

Master George Hodson and Miss
Leila Hodson. who have been spending
the summer with their grandfather.
George 5. Payne. Esq. have returned
to their home near Philadelphia.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1905-09-23

b. Spiegel. 1904 N. Virginia St..
Evansville, Ind, writes; For over five
years was troubled with kidney and
bladder affections which caused me
much pain and worry. lost flesh and
was an run down, and year ago had
TO abandon work entirely. had three
of the best physicians who did me no
good and | was practically given up to
die. Foley's Kidney Cure was recon-
mended and the first bottle gave me
great relief, and after taking the sec
ond bottle was entirely cured" p.
ID. Cottingham & Co., Snow Hill; Lloyd
4 Blaine, Pocomoke.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1905-09-23

If you are going to paint your
single roof, tin roof, or iron fence use
Russio- Namel, guaranteed to last five
years. For sale by James ID. Hack,
Snow Hill, Md.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1905-09-23
VICTOR HOTEL FOR
SALE.

A two-story brick house with Ia rooms,
including large store room. City water,
first class cast iron porcelain bath tub.
wash stand and sink. For particulars
apply at once. examine premises and
surprise yourself at the price and terms
at which you can purchase.
p. NJ. FOOKS Proprietor,
st. Snow fill, Md.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1905-09-23

Mr.. Harlan Payne has gone to
Baltimore where he has secured posi-
ton in the New York Clothing House.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1905-09-23

For Sale 800 bushels of fine seed
wheat. In quantities to suit purchaser.
A. s. Bromley, Stockton. Md.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1905-09-13

say very pertinent. There was plen-
tv OF good, common sense in it any
wav and was couched in language
that could not be misunderstood.
There are many violations for
which there is no possible excuse
and they but tend to make the conn
tv less decent and respectable than
ii should be, and would be without
these things. Obedience to law all
ways makes good citizenship and
there is no logical reason why there
should not be almost complete and
perfect obedience to law in Harrison
county. The cOunty's people are
the best in the state, are the most
prosperous and the most highly ed
heated, and, therefore, possess every
requisite to good citizenship, and
certainly have no defect of mind.
body or Circumstance that would
compel them to outrage the law to
make a proper living. Those who
violate the law do so knowingly and
tlcv also know that the law will
hold them to account some time.
They hut take their fate in their
own hand, when they thus under
take to take the law into Their
hands.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1905-09-13


the Board of Education, as an evi-
denee of good faith that the bidder
viii enter into contract should he
be awarded the work. In the event
of the contractor failing to givesthe
required bond and entering into q
contract within a reasonable time aft
ter being awarded the work, the
check shall become the property OF
the Board of Education and be negot
tiated by them, otherwise, the check
shall be returned Immediately after
these conditions have been complied
with.
BOND. The successful CONTRACT
tor will be required to furnish al
approved bond to the extent of two
thirds of the amount Of bid, and iI
addition, 20 per cent of each est
mate viii be withheld until the final
completion and acceptance of the
work. The board reserves the right
to accept any or reject any OF all
bids. All bids are to be addressed
to Harvey W. Harmer, Secretary OF
the Board. Plans can be seen at the
Office of the architect, rooms "a and
IS, Lowndes building, Clarksburg-
w. Va.
BY order of the Board of Educd-
ttion this 31st day of Aug, 1905. Z
HARVEY w. HAMMER,
1sept12td. Secretary.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1905-09-13

Judge Lynch's charge to thu
grand jury was an unusually strons
one and quite pointed, and many
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1905-09-13

At Fairmont October 5 and a
80 reunion of the Union veterans
r the Civil war is to be held, and an
nvitation will be extended to Judge
Nnthan Golf to address the reunion
nd his comrades. Very probably
,av he accept the invitation as he
:;ght for his flag and country and
r-rrowly escaped with his life, to
' nothing of the hardships of Lib
bv prison. But, even the invitation
III likely provoke Juror among
me and the howl viii go up. if he
r-cpts, that he has some ulterior
tntive. with political significance.
is to he dcplored that West Nir-
inia's most illustrious citizen can
o"t go freely among his people,
-ithout being impugned with some
'"cret purpose.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1905-09-13
Notice to Contractors

Sealed bids will be received by the
Board of Education of Clarksburg
School District for building two
school buildings, and the grading of
the lots, at Clarksburg, W. Va, IN
accordance with plans and specifica-
tions prepared for the same by Ed
ward J. Wood, architect, until the
18th day of September, 1905, at IL
O'Clock noon, of said day. All bids
must be accompanied by a certified
check for S=QO.Ge made payable to