davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1905-09-15
"Owed" to Spring.

IN the early days of Apr.
Da. s OF STE<.;i-e we -: = rain.
Mother rallies al her forces
Opens up the spring v..-.pLign-
First we carry out the sofa.
Bank it round with every chair
BedStead bureau, mattress tao,e
Till the house looks gaunt and bare
Still we show no weak re.EntinS
For the carpets still Or Eoors.
And all down things mist come up
ward
And be carried out of DOORS
When the rooms are bare AID empty
It's the point where mother looms
Large upon our near horizon
Armed with rags and mops ard
brOoms.
Also pals Of soapy water
And perhaps some air Stacked lime
Go to swell enthusiasm
In the glad house cleaning time
Oh. the joy OF FASTING paper
On the ceilings and the walls,
Oh. the sweet smell OF the varnish
On the woodwork in the halls,
Oh. how nice to sort the cupboard
Where We keep our cures for Ills,
See the lotions. powders. potions.
Liniments and salves and pills,
Now we eat our dinner standing
All around the kitchen range.
II we get too tired on one foot.
Then we make a little change
With our lumbar muscles aching
And tho biceps like to crack,
With what joyous looks and actions
We begin to put things back,
Oh. the gay and glad house cleaning;
All its joys / may not speak
must save my breath and muscle
We expect to clean next week,
Wallace Martin in Chicago Record
Herald
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1905-09-15

vhas a gay old sport, q masher und q
bilker; it makes me pitch into Peer
Littlefield und call him a thief: it
makes me say dot Henry Kiieu:clut
stole COWS; it yells OUdt Coz al Won
ans vhas gOssiRs und liars uud dot all
men ought to be In state prison.
l feel dot l Ike to be u t'ous:Dd
miles AWAY und hit Dinkman init a
club. But der baddest Was still to
come Der machine winds oop by
saying dot Sing Sing vhas my home
und dot l don't care for nobody nor
nOttings so long ash l can get all der
whisky l like to drink. l vhas so
mad like to go Oafer und kick it all
to pieces. but my old friend Schmidt
steps OOp to me und says:
Hans, you Will sit down some
more und keep a leetle still. If you
vhas some villains in disguise, und it
seems like you vhas. It vhas time der
pOOblic knows about her. l hat known
you feefteen year, und l belief you
vhas a sober, hardwOrking mans, but
1t seems l vhas deceived. 1 like to so
out und get p0licemans and hat you
sent to shall"
Und den Dinkman puts in und says
he hears me speak q poem into dot
machine At Il o'clock at night. when
I should be home und in bed NIT my
wife. Dot poem vhas called '.Bingen
on der Rhine" und he says hat tears
in my eyes ash 1 speak him. He likes
eaferbody to listen While dot machine
oh
a bad mans dot I cannot be reformed.
Well. dot machine goes along, und
I tell you 1 vhas like fainting AWAY
In my chair. 1t vhas soOch awful Ian
guage dot eaferbody turns pale und
stands Oop, und when l calls out to
stop her Carl Schmidt stands oop und
wafes his hand to me und says:
''CObbier, 1 demand dot you keep
quiet. Now dot see What Il villains
You vhas 1 wonder dot you don't cut
your wife's throat some night Keep
it OOp. Mr.. Dinkman- Let us know der
worst about dis mans"
Ind Dinkman vhas so tickIed cot he
can't stand still. Dot monograph makes
me sing und swear some more, und il
makes fun of all my friends und says
l shall ruD AWAY from my wife next
week. 1t sings und swears und whoOps
und yells, und by and by it calls out to
all der peoples in loud voice:
Hello, you crowd Of Dutch buffers.
you would all look in some dime muse
umsv'
Nit dot eaferybody shumps oop to
60 AWAY. und my old womans falls
down und wants to die right OF. Ny
friend Dinkman likes to go AWAY NIT
der rest. but I catch him by her neck
und say:
MY friend, I Will now speak some
more into dot photograph. She vhas
q wonderful machine. You vhas a
SMOKER. und dot machine vhas q shok-
er. Ha, ha, har'
How you mean?" says Dinkman.
II mean dot vhas some SMOKER, too,
und 1 now gif you anodder song. She
vhas called How Dinkman Goes Out
DOORS und I show you how she
works."
Und 1 take dot SMOKER by her neck
again und slam him around und bang
him oop till he yells for mercy und
says he vhas sorry und vhill neffer be
funny again.
He tells all der peoples dot il vias
only some SMOKES. but nobody believes
him, und dot night my wife vhas faint
ing AWAY most all Ger time. 1t vhas
awful bad for me. 1 doan't get into
some society, und 1 dOan't hat some
shoes to mend next day, und Carl
Schmidt says lose my reputation und
brin: up in state prison for der rest of
my days. NJ. QUAD.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1905-09-15
Merely MfaIaiI.

Doctor" said the man who severa
weeks before had been operated on fOl
appendicitis. I'm all right except for
a heavy feeling in the pit of my stoln
ach and slight metallic rattling wher
l walk
There exclaimed the II. D., slap
ping his thigh. Il knew that ease OF
surgical instruments would turn UP
eventually. Will you pay me for them
and keep them or shall remove them
The cost will be about the same
Houston Post
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1905-09-15
Something Doing Right AWAY.

"Oh. dear said Mrs. Spider to Mr..
Spider. looking down from her web on
the shelf of the dry goods store. Il am
afraid that we have go. TO move"
What's the trouble now. dear?" ask
ed Mr.. Spider in surprise. We have
lived with this kind stOreke,per for
many months"
Yes, dear, l know we have" said
Mrs. Spider, with sigh. But he has
begun to advertise. Jour-
nal
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1905-09-15
Some Clever Saying.
By Bright Little Tots

| MARGIE-Do people get into heav-
L.. en- free:
4 Johnnie-No. of course not
They have to be good.
Papa. are there such things as locks
Of hair:"
Certainly, my SON."
"And is q wigmaker q Iocksmith.
papay"
Tommy" said the teacher, ''can you
tell me the meaning Of 're,,entant:''
Eyes, ma'am," answered Tommy
Its how a fellow feels when he gets
caught at it."
Mamma-Willie, did you see any one
take my blackberry jam from tie pan
try?
Willie (whose mouth looks suspicious.
Mamma, guess I must be like some
Of the Bible people who had eyes and
saw not
Doctor Ito Gilbert, aged four)-Put
your tongue out, please.
Little Gilbert prOtruded the tip of his
tongue.
DOctOr-NO, no; put it right out.
Il can't, doctor; it's fastened on t.
me-"
Now, Freddie" said his mother, who
was entertaining company, you must
not talk while the ladies are talking 1t
isn't polite"
'Huhv' exclaimed Freddie in disgust
do you want me to grow up and be .
dummy" News.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1905-09-15
The CObbler
And Society,"
h Cd Friend MI. Dnkman Advises
Him 10 Ca Into II For
Business' Sake.

- ONE day when don't hat no cob
Bling to do und belief l shall
bring UP in der pOOrhouse my
old friend Dinkman comes in
ind says:
"Ians. I tell you What vhas der mat
ter. You don't make society enough.
Society means peesness. Der more sd
eiety der more peesness. II you enter
tain society In der eavenings society
brings you shoes to mend by daylight"
"But how can ] he society?' I says.
~shust ash easy ash grease. DO yOn
know What some monographs vhas?"
Seems to the hear aloud her. but
dunno. Docs she safe 10 per cent In
fuelf'
"No. no. She vhas some machine ike
Q corn shelter. You speak into der hop
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1905-09-15
NonfEY Effort.

1T is stated" we observe to the bald
healed man. that the hair of mental
workers falls out sooner tan that of
men i'm other lines Of enGeavor Is
your profession one of great mental
EFFORT
lit certainly is" he replies Il COM
pose the glowing advertisements OF
hair tonics."-Judge.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1905-09-15
Those Pleasant Happeninx..

Annie at the dinner table had kept
her hands under the table, when she
suddenly popped out the question:
Guess what have under the table, -
"Why, your hands, of course" an
Swered mother
NO" she almost yelled: give got a
belly ache."-New York Globe
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1905-09-15
The Point OF View.

The Beauty-Ive had lots Of poems
written to me. both serious and hui
morOus, but I've kept only the serious
ones.
The Other Girl-They were better
than the others?
''Oh, no, but they were much fun
nier."-Smart Set.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1905-09-15
Already There.

"Of course" said Miss Pert. ''if he
should propose to you you will accept
him."
Il don't know" replied Miss Passay
Il should want to be sure that he will
love me when 1 am old
"But his proposal will be proof that
he does, won't it?"-Philadelphia Ledg-
or
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1905-09-15

Dremer-If I could only acquire a
nice pile of money 1 wouldn't do a
thing but travel
Skemer-Yes, but maybe the police
wouldn't do a thing but stop you
Catholic Standard and Times.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1905-09-15
Wl% Child

Mother" said Mr.. Popley guar1edly
to his wife, why not take the YOUNG
steer to the matinee tomorrow ~
Pa" chimed in the yOungster quiet
", there Is only one T. in matinee
Philadelphia Press.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1905-09-15
Strategy.

Borroughs-HellO. old man: They say
you lost lot Of money on the races
Gayman displaying his roll gIeeful-
ly)-Ha, ha! That doesn't look like it.
does it,
BOrrOughs-No. Say, lend me ten.
will your Catholic Standard anu
Times
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1905-09-15
Not Particular,

He-Which one is she going to ac-
cept-the lieutenant or the colonel?
She-Oh. it isn't a question of rank.
you know,
He-NO? What IS it them
She-It's question Of which one pro-
poses firSt.-DetrOit Free Press.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1905-09-15

Deacon Jones The hairs Of our head
are all numbered, you know
Pewbury-SO are the automobiles:
but. then. there's so much grease on
them you can't read themehalf the time.
Boston Transcript.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1905-09-15
LIST
WHISTLES, WINES. BEER AND MALT.

Bulk goocs-Jugs free-Noe prepaid,
MO per gallon Rye. Gin, Con-. Good Grade
$1oo per gallon.
kye- Gin. Corn. Rum, Fine Quality 81 50 per gal.
kye' Gin Corn. Kun Best tor the money.
% 90 per gal.
a Rye. Peach aud apple brandy. Meilowe
by age. s. 90 per gal.
Victoria Rye. Social Drops Rye, Medical quality
LEWP ST. LOUIS BEER, Per de-.
Ealst.h ---.. .-....-. ....... ....Sy g
EsAtf3 rae -
SSAuoafo .....,.. ...,.... 1900. I =
Malt extra dark 9
So"urEer. imported. -
6ass Ale. pints...-....-.......-. ......--.. 8
GUINNESS Stout puts ............. .......... g
Prices By the barrel On appiiertiss-
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1905-09-15

She-I learned SO much at COOKING
school.
Heidi you learn how to keep q
cook st. Louis Post-Dispatch.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1905-09-15
flight Of wild Geese.

flight Of wild Geese.
high
heads
our
Above
We hear your pfnions hiss
A. northward. now you ny
In
just
like
this.
Chicago Chronicle.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1905-09-15
EXPRESS PREPAID.

Assortment Allowed On al e,eds Of ssms
he.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1905-09-15

76-75S West Adams st.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1905-07-31

How the Associated Press Worked to
Give the World the News
On the afternoon Of September c,
1901. worn out Icy long period OF ex
acting labor sat out for Phlladel
phia with the purpose Of spending a
few days at Atlantic City When ]
reached the broad street station In
the Quaker City i was startled by
number OF policemen crying my
name stepped up to one. who
pointed TO a boy with an urgent mes
sage for me. President Mckinley ha.
been shot at Buffalo. and my presence
vas required At our Philadelphia of
Ace at once. = message had been
sent to me at Trenton. but my train
had left the station precisely two min.
utes ahead Of its arrival Handing
my baggage to hotel porter, jumped
into a cab and dashed away to our Of.
fee. ! remained there until dawn os
the following morning
The opening pages Of the story Of
tho assassination were badly written.
and J ordered substitute prepared
An experienced reporter stood beside
President Mckinney in the Music hall
al Buffalo whea Czolgosz fred the ia
tai shot lie seized a neighboling tel.
ephcne and notified our buffalo cor
re RESPONDENT, and then pulled ont the
wires. in order to render the telephone
a wreck so that # was a fun half hour
before any additional details could be
secured.
| ordered competent men and expert
telegraph operStors from Washington,
Albany, New York and Boston to hur-
ry to Buffalo by the fastest trains. All
that night the Buffalo office was pour.
irg forth a hastily written, but faith
ful account Of the tragedy, aud by day
bl eak a relief force was on the ground.
Day by day, through the long vigil
while the Presidents life hung in tie
balance each incident was truthfully
and graphically repN~ted. In the
closing hours of the great tragedy
false reports OF the Presidents death
were circulated for the purpose Of in.
fuencing the stock market and to
counteract them. Secretary Cortlyou
wrote frequent signed statements,
giving the facts to the Associated Press
Melville E. Stone IN the Century.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1905-07-31
How one Invention was Lost.

Scientists who wonder how the
world came to lose knowledge Of IN,
powerful machinery that must have
been used 10 construct the pymmis
OF Egypt and the equally great stone
structures that are now covered 10y
the tropical forests of Yucatan may
find food for thought IN the more re-
cent loss consequent on the death of
Pisiessor Rowland, of John Hopkins
University.
It is probable thai some concerted
effort will lie made By the great eda
catiunal institutions OF this oouRtrY
and Europe to prevent any simini
loss to science and provide that in
case OF the death of anyone who
holds the secret OF a process of great
value to humanity, the results OF
life time OF labor may remain Tor
those who carry on the work.
In certain spectroscopic work Il IS
necessary to uss a concave mirror en-
graved with parallel lines, so fine hat
there are sometimes nearly one hun
dred thousand 20 the inch Professor
Rowland invented a machine for en-
craving these lines. This machiho
contained a screw with a thread Of a
finess never before known. and which
had to be ground under water ~ a
process known only to the professor
and his head mechanic.
For years they divided this price,
less secret and furnished machines u
the whole world, until one day Schnci-
der, the mechanic, died. Az once
Professor Rowland started to teach tse
secret process to another man, nut
before he had impaired all the steps
Of the process he himself died eaying
the method Of manufacture only part
ly known.
All attempts thus far to complete
the process have been unsuccessful.
and the scientific world eagerly await4
final assurances whether the secret
has been lost and proposes Ia take
steps to prevent similar circumstances
They point out that IN the abseuce
Of such an instution as the German
Reichsanstalt which makes ayailahia
to the nation the inventions OF the
great scientists who compose its stan
the colleges and universities Of the
Engllsh-spealSing world ought to maea
some arrangement by which the wora
- their great investigators cannot be
lost
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1905-07-31
KNEW CINE FIELD AS A TYPO.
Man Who Says He Worked With Him
Tells Stories Of Him.

''NtN WHN Sego ne WNIkcO WIN MIN
Tells Stories Of Him.
Every man who has ever so much
as walked .he streets OF Denver wants
to toll Vol a personal anectdote aboue
the most eccentric of all modern gen.
fuses, Eugene Field. and every man
who ever saw Tho inside Of Dsnvc,
newspaper Office will tell you that he
worked at the case with Field" said
Ralph Pomeroy Of Keokuk, Ia, who %
at the Phster
"But | claim the distinction OF hav-
ing really worked along with Field ut
rr;nter's case shortly after the poet
lost his position in the editorial de,
partmcnt and was forced to go 10 the
composing room OF the paper to make
his living.
when through with cur work in the
eaIly morning all the compositors
would hold eession across the alley
IN little all night saloon and restau-
rant conducted by man who was IA.
nhllarly known as Fritz. Field used
TO keep the crowd almost hysterical
with lis ready wit and the little place
became famous in a wey so that the
gambling fraternity and men about
town would drop in there on their way
home after some all night session at
faro bank.
"Field was negligent in paying bills
and his account Fritz place, careful.
ly kept a broken slate back Of the bar.
was becoming uncomfortably long Up
on being approached on the matter he
contritely promised that he would set
tie in full the next pay day. When the
night came around Field, in his gem
erous way. gave his unopened pay en-
Velope to fellow printer whose wife
had Gied and who had no money to de-
fray her funeral expenses.
The poets prodigality with his
weekly stipend came 20 the ears OF
Fritz and he sent a message to Fieh.
to come over ana see him. The tip
was out that something unusual would
happen and the dingy little eating
place was thronged. Field walked
Up to the bar and waited.
"Mister Field, said the old German
solemnly, you hat come here and make
much laughing Many people haf come
here also to hear your speakings. They
spend much money with iGc and my
place is known we'll. Mister Field, you
owe me nottings And with this he
Dramatically wiped the slate clean.
80 / have paid my account, have
!, Fritz? You and are square,? said
Field.
at is Just SO" returnes the proprie-
tor fervidly.
"Well, Fritz. It is usual when a gem
tleman settles bill fof the house to
trst. What will you have, bOys?'
And. grinning broadly at the joke,
Field cordially waved the crowd up to
the bar in honor Of the payment OF his
bill" Milwaukee Sentinel
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1905-07-31

residential cottages costing up as high
as 100000 each, the whole peOpled with
inhabitants the most OF whom are the
salt Of the great United States exhibit
ing commercial energy and education
al capacity that is not suppressed in the
larger suburban cites surrounding cul-
tured Boston. We were indeed sur
prlsed beyond expression: but when we
saw the baby metropolis Of Tulsa, only
nall dozen years aid, with its large
stores, handsome residences and many
banks, with one new bank structure
mat viii compare faVorably with the
Drexei banking establishment in Phlla-
delphla, we We're ready to see almost
anything. and, following the rubbing of
Aladdin's lamp, We were expectant to
see and be shown things beyond tho dcs-
cripton Of brush and pen.
All these cities have varied resources.
with unusually rich farming country.
containing all kinds OF Industrial re-
sources. especially SO Of a particularly
rich supply of oil, gas. coal, ore. stone
and minerals already developed and .stin
virtually almost untouched.
Thcn, last out not least the baby
frontier town of Lawton. only three
years old having over 10000 inhabitants
all streets laid out under government tai
superintendent in park system, with
trees Ranking all the pavements except
IN the main business parts, with the
double sewerage system, one for the sur
tace drainage and the other for the usual
sanitary purpose, with magnificent large
school houses, all this already prepared
and IN actual use, paid for and money in
the treasury, with an uneNpended re-
source Of many thousands for future
improvements, TO be seen in town sup
ported by manufacturing and distrihut-
ing establishments, supplementing The
traoe emanating from rich farming
country, with other advantages not nee
essary here TO enumerate, proved TO us
mat we knew nothing az all about some
portions at least Of our great United
states, and that our first duty on reach
ing home would be to send en- urgent
letter TO our congressman, .'equesting
ms 'unalterable support OF statehood and
proper recognition BY the nation Of this
great country that the east knows so
little OF and 50 blindiy misunderstands
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1905-07-31
SPECIAL RATES

The Santa Fe have reduce, rates to
many points, we can only publish a
few, but any one contemplating a trip,
quotations VOL be gladly made
Summer tourist. sold June 1st 70
Sept. 30. good to return until Oct 81.
Chicago s3t65. Denver S216O. ST. Louis
S23.65. Colorado Springs and Pueblo
fi915. Salt Lake city $3.50. Glen
weod Springs S3i.1o 81. Paul $2G Sc.
Milwaukee s8lG5. El Paso 1920 and
many others.
Denver. c. A. r. eneampment. $3.50.
sold August3O 10 sept 4. May be ex-
tended for return to Oooober 2.
Denver. Fraternai Order Of Eagles
32l.l0 Sold August ~ ana 10. may be
extended for return TO September %.
r. j. BEST. Ast
J. r. WOOD. r. p. A.. Guthrie
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1905-07-31
Deafness Cannot be CURED.

bylocal applications. as they cannot
reach the diseased portion of the ear.
There is only one way to cute deaf
ness. and that is by constitutional
remedies. Deafness is caused by an
infiamed condition OF the mucous lin
ing of the Eustachian Tube When
this tube is infamed YOU have a rumb'
linz sound or imperfect hearing, and
when it is entirely closed. Deafness is
the result. and unless the infamma.
ton can be taken out and this tubs
restored to its normal condition. hear
ing will he destroyed forever; nine
cases out OF ten are caused by catauh
which is nothing but an indanled con
dition OF the muscous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars
for any case Of Deafness (caused by
catarrhl that cannot be cured by
Halls Catarrh Cure. Send for circu
lars. free
F. J. CHENEY & CO.. Toledo. o.
Sold by all druggists. 75c.
Take Halls Family pills for consti
patton.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1905-07-31
Bent Her Double

Il knew no one for four weeks. when
1 was sick with typhoid and kidney
trolblc" writes Mrs Annie Hunter, Of
Pittsburg. Pa, And when / got better,
although l had one Of the bes. doctors
could get, / was bent double, and had
to rest my hands on my knees when !
walked. rgln this terrible affliction l
was rescued by Electric Bitters. which
restored my health and strength, and
now I can walk as straight as ever. They
are simply wonderful" Guaranteed to
cure stomach, liver and kidney disor-
ders; at a. druggists price - cents
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1905-07-31
WISCONSIN,

Waukesha iWis.) PREGNANT Guthrie.
the hostess city ON the occasion Of the
editorial convention, is N the northeast
portion OF the territory less thrn a nun-
dred miles from the Kansas iine. II Is
sixteen years since the town was iiid
out By the government and its pOpula-
tion represents considerably more TRAN
thousand for each year OF It's existence
The town has seventeen churches, a
county high school. six graded schools.
fine public library. that cost so. 900.
Masonic Temple that cost SEQ. 200 "a
good system Of water works-better than
Waukeshahas- sewerage system clcy-
en- miles Of brick pavement, q good street
car service. three railways. excellent
daily newspapers, and hundreds OF well
built and attractive homes, with CONF
merial buildings fully Ia keeping with
the requirements and proportions Of the
city.
Due attention has been given 10
ornamentation Of parks and streets
and while impsrfeetlons certainly ex-
ist the wonder IS that go much has
been accomplished The streets are well
shaded and hard and rapid work Is be-
ing done 20 further improve.
Ia a social way the people of Guth-
RE indicate plainly that tneY are no
noNiccs IN the art Of entertaining
The guests within their gates are
made 20 feel the prevalence 81 a spirit
OF kindly hospitality which finds cx-
pressions la ways Characteristic Of the
pioneer American ffe
Naturally ihe people there entered