davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22
OF ..MIsREPREsENT.n

Ex-GOVernor OdeU, who Followed jas
Hazen Hyde on the witness stand, be-
fore the New York insurance investigat-
ing committee, said Hyde lied. We
guess they both lied. Senator DepeW
followed Odell as a witness and the
general impression is they all lied. Any
man who steals will lie.-El Dorado Re
publican.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22
a PROPER WoRLD.

If could make the world would
Not make a salty sea
Ia fill it up with lemonade
And let in children free.
On every mountain, cape and stream,
Id print its name, so we
Would never have to study them
In a geography.
Addition and division 7
" ould not have made at all
1 wouldn't have a thing but games
For children that are small
1 guess If made such a world
1t would be fine to see,
AND all the children that there are
Would say "Hurrahi'' for me-
Unidentified.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

A socialist speaker in Topeka said he
would like to see Governor Hoch take a
day off and show the people why they
have not the right to own the railroads,
the factories, the mines and the mar
kets. Very likely the governor would
like to do it, too, but what with much
speech-making and the report of the
season when the executive will have a
whole day to fritter away seems to be
very remote.-Leavenwort Times.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

Senator Burton isn't so much worried
IS he was during his first trial, accord
ing to reports from St Louis. He pro-
badly. remembers that he can get the
United States supreme court to guess
again on his case and perhaps he is
saving up a few choice techniealities to
show that body
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

Bent Murdock has withdrawn his al
legation that Senator Longs name is
'Ichabod." He now refers to the sena-
tor solely as Isaac" but he intimates
that the name may be changed into
something else when the senator comes
I'D for reelection.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

william Allen White recently got
something like four thousand dollars
for writing a little bunch Of stories for
the Saturday Evening Post, and now
he is telling in the Emporia Gazette
about the delights of not being rich.
What does he know about it?
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

What a comfort it must have been
TO Senator Platt to have the three
big insurance companies contribute
twenty-five or thirty thousand dollars
of the policy holders money to him
regularly each year, with the privilege
of giving him stiu more should he
hannen to need it,
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

It is very evident that the policy
holders are not going to have a chance
TO tell their side Of the case before the
investigating committee. Their "bene-
hciaries" Will have cashed in the poll
cies before the committee gets through
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

Whenever the Wall street gamblers
and fnanciers see trouble ahead they
always yell for the secretary of the
treasury to help them out, but when
the farmers and the wOrkmen of the
county-the real wealth producers-
have any financial trouble they always
have to work out their own salvation.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

senator Long may talk very braVeIy
about his independence now, but he viii
vote differently when the test comes in
Washington. Senator Long has Won
derfully keen ear for grass root rum
rumbling that is going on in Kansas
just now.-Iola Record.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

Jimmie is at the age where the form
pales before the substance. At the last
Dartv he went to. the principal dainty
of the supper was delicate creamed
chicken served in pretty frilled paper
cases. On his return he was put through
the usual catechism.
'sAnd what did you have to eat?''
aFIuhl nothfn' but hash in candle
shades!" -Harper's Magazine.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22
KANSAS C0MMENT


NO FAULT HERI1E
The government has just discharged
a bank examiner who allowed himself
to be fooled by the officers of the En-
terprise National bank in Pennsylvania
Nobody seems to have been at fault in
the Topeka bank failure. Not as much
punishment has been meteo out as
would be given a child for breaking a
mug.-Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

last week there were 13 convictions, all
of which goes to prove that when Off
Gals are in earnest in their efforts TO
enforce the law it can be done.-Con-
cordia Blade.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

If Senator Long viii take even
casual glance over the Kansas jour
uaIistfe field he cannot fail to be inn
pressed by the fact that the news
papers that have been his stauncbesr
friends In the past are now urging
him to come out on the side OF Pres
fdent Roosevelt in the rate regulation
rrntest while the papers that are
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

It seems up to The Hon. IL Durham,
of Philadelphia, to follow the lead Of the
Hon. Boss" Cox, Of Cincinnati, and
apply TO be permitted to enter into vol
untary has beendorn. - Charleston
News and Courier.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

The streets Of Constantinople are said
90 be the worst in the world. 1t seems
therefore that Kansas avenue doesn't
hold the record after all
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

The fact that Richard A. McCurdy
once wrote a poem, entitled Get Thee
Behind Me Satan" merely shows that
the two of them have gone tandem as
we'll as in double harness.-Charleston
News and Courier.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

Fashion authorities say that large
diamonds must be worn the coming
season instead of small ones. Here is
a chance for the Kansas farmer to
spend some Of his bank account
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22
THE HORSE SHOW.

How I love 70 watch the horses
On the annual PARADE
Mighty monarchs of the tanbark-
Nay their glory never fadei
But with even greater gusto
Do I joyfully inspect
Rows on rows of lovely naidens
In a rainbow glitter decked.
And the question thus arises,
AS 1 gaze upon the pearls,
If they ever held a Mouse show
Would there be as many girls2
-McLandburg Wilson in n. Y. Sun.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

The janitor of the court house at
Olathe has been arrested for bootleg
ging. The next thing some bailin viii
be caught selling liquor to the jury sit
ting in q Joint case.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

The telegraph operators typewriter,
as well as the linotype, sometimes
makes queer mistakes. A report receiv-
ed yesterday had some Green Indians
calling on the resident.-Hutchinson
NeNYs
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

We observe that Hon. Charles W.
Fairbanks has just taken his thirty
second degree in Masonry Thank the
Lord he has at last gotten above the
freezing point.-Charlesto News and
Courier.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22
pOwER on ELOOUENCE.

It is said that an aged New England
couple, who were desirous of selling the
old home, were so much overcome with
the picture of the charms of the place,
as set forth by the eloquent auctioneer
that they decided to keep it.-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

Because the newspapers at Denver
complimented his subordinates too high
ly Mr.. Richard Mansfield few into a
rage and discharged the cause of the
onense. 1t seems that If you are sup
porting a famous theatrical star it
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

now patting him on the back and
praising his independence" are those
that have been his enemies heretofore. /
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

Regarding the temperance of Mrs.
Chadwick in the news, it may be said
that the public has progressed from the
study of A 3. c. fraudulent finance to
a higher grade.-New York World.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22
Teaching Government Clerks to Loaf

II.
Describing the work of the Keen com
mission on department methods. recent
~ appointed by President Roosevelt.
Henry Beach Needham says in The
World Today for December:
Then there is another difficulty to be
kept IN mind, natural resultant of the
membranes aforesaid. A department.
al machine runs at a certain rate OF
speed. Business is ground out slowly
II mas ever been so, perhaps. And speed
IN any one part is not desirable It
throws the entire machine out of gear.
FOR illustration: Not so long ago a Chi
cago business woman accustomed to
hard, efficient work, was appointed to
the government service in Washington.
She began her work with enthusiasm.
and with the determination of securing
a promotion through good service. Al
lhough her salary was SIS a month she
was assigned to a task which could be
uone successfully by a fourteen-year-
OLD schoolboy; namely, putting jackets
| on reports of some kind, labelling them
properly, and thus preparing the docu-
ments for examination by higher Off
clal She was new to the government
service, was this business woman, and
she prepared ten times as many of these
jackets as her predecessor had done. Soon
she was called before her superior, and
instead of the compliment she naturally
expected, the bureaucrat scolded her
roundly. The clerks further up the line
were burdened with business which
they could not or would not do. AS q
result, the bureaucrat specified a par
ticular number of the reports to be pre-
pared in a day. and no more.
But I can do those in about two
hours" said the Chicago woman. What
shall do the rest of the day?'
"Stretch out the work as long as you
can" was the bureaucratic command
'and then read the DaDers''
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

Tt is rather unfortunate for W. J.
Fitzgerald's boom for lieutenant gov
ernor that it should be launched by
the railroad interests in Kansas, but
this probably isn't Mr. Fitzgerald's s
f---rA
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

Mr.. Whitney, of Massachusetts, evil
IDENTIFY didn't learn his lesson the first
time. judging from President Roose-
Velt,s letter.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

one Of the worst arguments against
Senator Longs present position is the
support he is receiving from certain
quarters
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

speeches read better than they sound.
Secretary Taft. sat on the bench and
delivered opinions too long to be a
hre-eating orator and rabble-fouser.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22
An Appeal.

President Paul Morton was entertain
ing at Manhattan beach $50 agents Of
the Equitable Life.
An agent from the west asked Mr..
Morton if he believed that advertising
benefited life insurance.
Good Advertising the other answer
ed, benefits every form of business"
''But what is good advertising?" said
the agent.
Good advertising returned Mr.. Nor
ton. 'is the kind that strikes home the
kind that gives you a friendly feeling
toward concern. It makes you believe
that it viii be pleasant and profitable
to deal with the advertiser.
"a Detroit grocer, in my boyhood, in
serted in the papers an advertisement
that 1 think was good one. I still
remember it. 1t ran:
" Twins are come to me for the third
time This time a boy and a girl 1
beseech my friends and patrons to sup
port me stoutly.' Exchange.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

The patriotic Norwegians now viii
have to name their youngsters
''EIaakon," j." after the king. How would
you like to be a patriotic Norwegian? q?
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

It would look as though deer hunt
ers are almost as bad an insurance
risk as political parties. Three were
killed on the first day of the deer
hunting season in Wisconsin.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22
THE POOR CZAR.

Everybody in Russia seems to be win
ming his freedom except the czar.-Bal-
timore Sun.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

Sixty men have been indicted at La
Porte, Ind, for smoking cigarettes. It
is getting so that the only allowable
vices in Indiana are selling votes and
writing historical nOvels.-Washing
ton Post.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22
An Absent Minded Man.

See that man standing near the tele-
graph desk2" said c. r Chul hill, clerk
at the Brown Palace hotel, last night to
another man leaning over the counter.
Yes. I know him well. What about
him2'' asked the one addressed.
He's the most absent-minded person
I ever saw. Ever notice that trait in
him?" asked the clerk.
Never did"
''Well, so over there and talk to him
I'll send a bellboy out with a call. Bet
the man a cigar that the boy win find
the guest he calls for and see what hap
pens"
The man on the other side Of the
counter approached the one near the
telegraph desk and engaged him in con-
versatiOn. A moment later a bellboy
began calling, Mr.. harvey" about the
lobby.
say. Tom" said the man who was
''in on" the experiment, 81 want a cigar
and you need a fresh one. Now. just
to see who pays for them I'll bet you
that bellboy fnds Harvey"
The other agreed. When the boy came
their way the man who had proposed
the bet called him.
rs your name Harvey" asked the
boy.
1T is" said the man.
The absent-minded man smiled. by
Joei Charley" he said, that IS your
name, isn't it? I didn't think of that"
The absent minded man bought the
cigars.-EXchange
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

Notwithstanding the doubt that has
been thrown on previous government
cotton reports, the cotton spectators
seem to have had considerable faith
in the statement of the census bureau.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

Doubtless the railroad magnates
consider it a great pity that Senators
Cullom and Dolliver do not exhibit
some of Senator Longs "independ-
encer
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

If Mr.. Hearst fails to get the New
York mayoralty, it will not be because
be has not done his-best. Angels
could do no more.-Boston Globe.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22
A Sngacions EAGLE


Edward B. Russ, who is to engross the
treaty of Portsmouth, is a nature stu
dent.
Like many nature students. Mr..
Russ thinks that Roberts, Seton and
the new nature writer's attribute over
much intelligence to animals. He said
with a laugh the other day:
AT the rate we are going now it
won't be long before We shall be hear
ing such animal stories as this:
'An old man on a lonely road
among the mountains, was attacked by
an eagle.
1.-THE old man defended himself
bravely. The bird scratched him with
its claws and beat him with its wings.
He struck it and kicked it and swore
at it.
Finally, worn out, the eagle with
drew But it did not go empty-hand-
ed. The old man wore a wig. This
wig the eagle snatched off and car
ried away.
Surely a remarkably sagacious ac-
ton on the part of the bird which
was, you will please note, a bald
eagle. Denver Times.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22
THE WRONG SIDE.

President Mccall says there are two
sides to the insurance business, and
from a distance it would appear that
some of the companies have been on
the shady Milwaukee Sentinel.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22
ANOTHFR LOEB.

No, you have them mixed. The Gus
todian of the secret of life is another
Loeb. Washington Loeb is simply the
custodian of official secrets.-New York
Herald.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22
LiILed the Sanlnle.

A dinner was given to General
Charles Miller in Philadelphia on his
recent return from Europe.
Curacao figured among the liqueurs
served with the coffee, and General
Miller said with smile:
Il was lunching one day at an
English inn. after an inspection of
some very interesting troops.
Across the room sat a half dozen
farmers-burly, red faced farmers
being entertained by their landlord, a
young vlscOunt.
with their coffee. as with this. each
man got a thimbleful of curacao. One
farmer-a man as strong as a bull and
as red as a efsteak-drained his lit
tie glass. ad then thumped the table
with his huge fist, and shouted to the
maid:
'Oi zay, young woman, Ofn take
some o. that in a mug. Exchange.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22
HUMOR OF THE Day

This is so sudden" she murmured,
y eakly. The messenger boy had answered
her call within five minutes of her ring
ing him up Baltimore American.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

Fathcr-Now. Sir William. I want Jack
70 90 into business-his mother wants him
to read fer tine bar. Jacks undecided.
What do you adviser
Sir William Grubbe (overstout. horid.
and fussy)-You go into business, my boy.
See what it's made mel
Jack femphatically)-Oh Sir William.
I've quite decided to take the matters
adVice.-Punch.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22
SAMBO IN NEW YORK.

The people of Mars probably heard
the earth making a noise like an cleo
ton last night.-New York World.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

How do we know the world is round2"
asked the school teacher.
Because we know it isn't square,
promptly replied the boy who had been
absorbing knowledge about graft and
boodie.-Philadelphi Record.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

Sunday School Feaeher-And now.
Ralph, what DO you suppose were the
feelings of Goliath when David felled him
with a stone2
Ralph-I guess he was surprised.
S. s. T.-Why surprised
Ralph-Because such thing had never
entered his head before-Judge.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22
GOLD BRICKS.

The average Russian begins to clas
manifestoes and ukases with gOl
brick Baltimore Sun.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

''You Americans have a peculiar way OF
doing things said the English traveller.
How SOP" queried the Chicago man.
Take sidewalks, for example ref0in-
ed the Eng elishman. In London We put
them on top of the dirt, but here yeu put
dirt on top of the sidewalks. ''-Chicaso
News.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

sIm surprised that you should be so
interested in watching those silly dudes.
Force of habit. / guess. / m president
''Weu?"
well they're a vacant lot.'-Philadel-
phia Press.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

Conduetor-Can't take this nickel It's
plugged.
assenger-You'n have to take it You
gave it to me yourself in change when
came down this morning.
Conductor-Well, the ecmpany's mora
particular than you are. Fare, please!-
Cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

Haven't you often wondered why so
many broken down widowers want to get
married again2"
why. no. Naturally they want to get
repaired. Baltimore American
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

Wigg-Skinnum says he has two objects
in life.
wagg-Yes a fool and his money
Philadelphia Record.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

''He was arrested for stealing huclz-
leberry pie"
did he have any explanation to
maker"
''Iis lawyer wouldn't permit him to
open his mouth for fear he would Grim
mate himself ''-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22

Some gals is all de time er practicin' on
de pianner. Wen dey'd er heap better be
er-practicin' on er cook stove. Deyn find
out " en- dey gifts married dat dey cafn'C
cook er mans dinner On er pianner. an
dat wild er man music don't take lie place
Nv grub.-Dallas News.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22


Even if it does cost $50 a day when
young Bob McCurdy travels, perhaps
the policy holders won't murmur if he
will only start and keep on travelling
News-Scimeter.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22
News Of trouble in Turkey.

IN INC piptIs uOW aLDtaI-
And the turkey ere Ions viii surely
BE in trouble here.
BY the office boy of Milwaukee Sentinel
The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-22
FROlY OTHER PENS


IF"
Even if it does cost $50 a day when
young Bob McCurdy travels, perhaps
the policy holders won't murmur if he
will only start and keep on travelling
Memphis News-Scimeter.
GOLD BRICKS
The average Russian begins to class
manifestoes and ukases with gold
brick circulars.-Baltimor Sun.
SAMBO IN NEW YORK.
The people of Mars probably heard
the earth making noise like an cleo
ton last night.-New York World.
THE WRONG SIDE.
President Mccall says there are two
sides to the insurance business, and
from a distance it would appear that
some of the companies have been on
the shady side.-Milwaukee Sentinel.
ANOTHER LOEB.
No, you have them mixed. The Gus
todian of the secret of life is another
Loeb. Washington Loeb is simply the
custodian Of official secrets.-New York
Herald.
IF HE FAILS.
If Mr.. Hearst fails to get the New
York mayoralty, it will not be because
could do no more.-Boston Globe.
INDIANA VICES.
Sixty men have been indicted at La
Porte, Ind, for smoking cigarettes. It
is getting so that the only allowable
vices in Indiana are selling votes and
writing historical novels.-Washing-
ton Post.
PROGRESS.
Regarding the temperance of Mrs.
Chadwick in the news, it may be said
that the public has progressed from the
study of A. B. c. fraudulent finance to
a higher grade.-New York World.
THE POOR CZAR.
Everybody in Russia seems to be win
ming his freedom except the czar.-Bal-
timore Sun.
POWER OF ELOQUENCE.
It is said that an aged New England
couple. who were desirous of selling the
old home, were so much overcome with
the picture of the charms of the place,
as set forth by the eloquent 'auctioneer
that they decided to keep it.-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
A FINE TEAM.
The fact that Richard A. McCurdy
once wrote a poem, entitled Get Thee
Behind Me Satan" merely shows that
the two of them have gone tandem as
well as in double harness.-Charleston
News and Courier
DURHAATS PLACE.
It seems up to 1he Hon. Il durham,
of Philadelphia, to follow the lead Of the
Hon. Boss" Cox. of Cincinnati, and
apply to be permitted to enter into vol
untary has beendonn- - Charleston
Il
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1905-07-21
What The Bishop Wanted.

There was no limit to the humor-
Gus sittation for which the late Rt.
Rev. Thomas L. Clark. Bishop of
Rhode Island, was responsible, says
the Boston Herald. Some years ago
while attending lecture in Boston
he observed man sitting three seats
in front whom he thought he knew.
He requested the person sitting next
to him to punch" the other individ-
ual with his umbrella.
The polite ~tranger did so, and, the
disturbed pe.son turning his head
little, Bishop Clark discovered his
mistake. 1t was not the person he
supposed. Fixing his attention stead
fastly On the lecturer, and affecting
unconsciousness Of the whole affair,
he left the man with the umbrella to
settle with the other for the disturb
ance, and this man being wholly
without an excuse there was OF
course 4 ludicrons ard embarrassing
scene, during all Of which Bishop
Clark was profoundly interested in
the lecture.
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1905-07-21
LETTERS OFADMINIsTRATION

State OF South Carolina,
County of Newberry.
By John c. Wilson, Esquire, Probate
Judge.
WHEREAS, Josephine E. Kib1er
hath made suit to me, to grant her
Letters OF Administration of the es-
tate OF and effects Of Nancy Singley.
THESE ARE THEREFORE to
cite and admonish all and singular
the kindred and creditors of the said
Nancy Singley, deceased, that they be
and appear before me. in the Court
OF Probate, to be held at Newberry
on Friday. July 18th. next after pub
llcation thereof, at II o'clock in the
forenoon. to show cause. if any they
have, why the said administration
should not be granted
Given under my hand, this nth lay
OF July, Ammo Domini, 1905.
]. C. Wilson
J. P. N. G..
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1905-07-21
Southern Railway Excursions.

The Southern railway vii; sell
round trip tickets. to the following
points for special occasions:
Athens, Ca: Summer School, June
u to July zS, 1905. Rate: one first
class fare plus rs cents for round
trip.
Denver, COL, Account International
Epworth League convention. Rate
very low, and will be given on app1i-
cation.
Knoxville, Tenn, Summer School,,
June 20 to July 28, 1905. Rate: one
fare plus rs cents for round trip.
Nashville, Tenn, Peabody Sunme,
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1905-07-21
County Sunday School Convention.
Executor.

On account OF the county Sunday
school convention at Colony church
July Goth and 21st., the c., N. & I.
railroad announces tha they will
stop their rain No. 22 leaving here
at S:55 a. n. and No. 2I due here at
7:o5 P. n. at Colony church on the
above dates for the accommodation
OF those wishing to attend this con-
ven;ion. Round trip fare ~ cents.
For further information call on
J. W. Denning, Agent.