The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-20
HUM0R OF THE Day

HUMOR Or TIE DAY
Enthusiastic Friend-Don't you think
Miss Hygee is a beautiful singer?
Musical Critic-Yes, she is a singer, more
or less, and she certainly is beautiful
Chicago Tribune.
Jones grumbles at cold weather."
And he grumbles at hot weather."
What does he Hke7"
He likes to grumble. London Tit-Bits.
Katheryn-Tell me, Alice, just what your
honest opinion of my fiance is.
A1ce-Oh, no. Let's continue this friend
ship ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Commercial
Tribune.
Il hear the ironworkers are going out.
It's funny that they should 60 out on
strike when work is most plentiful"
Strike while the iron is hot "-PhiladeI-
phia LedSer
Do you think there's anything in palm
Undoubtedly I knew a palmist who
went crazy studying the hand of a man
who had once been a professional baseball
catcher. Chicago Record-Herald.
Did the doctor cali, John7"
Yes; he says I've got to take the rest
:. YVES Wa he looking at your tongue when
mo: he was looking at your picture."-
Houston Post.
Eff riches don't bring happiness says
Brother Williams, I'D ike fer somebody
ter tell me what de full grocery wagon
means; en- de money jingiin' in 70 pocket
tuition.
'George!"
Yes, deari"
Before we we're married. you once ask
ed n. ne if I enjoyed brass band"
You did And I SAID yes; but it seems
I misunderstood you, George; My wedding
ring is making a black mark on my fin
ger."-Cieveland Leader.
Hix-Darby has great system for play
Hix-He always sews car fare. up in the
lining Of his coat--F1ttsburg Dispaten-
The reception was in honor Of the pres
'sSfr. Jimfries," said the hostess. WON'T
you show US how you won the champion
I'D like to 'blige," responded the great
fighter regretfuily, but you'll have to ex-
cuse me this time. I'm hoarse tonight. -
Louisville COurier-J ournal.
See her watchin the stately ships.
Her brown hair flying freei
See her open her pretty lips,
And hear her say: 20, gee!"
De 1aye-lm mum mum man VINO
nun-nun never says dud-dud die, dud-dud
don't you know?
Mrs Goode-WeIl never mind. you GER
tainly try hard enough to do so.-Life.
1.-The Russian army has worked like a
machine" remarked a Russophil. the 9th
er day. A flying machine?-London Punch
Husband-Do you think it fair. dear. to
put our guests next to the nursery2
Wife-But it's the only way we can get
EN- up in time for breakfast.-Life-
A Birmingham church warden was read
ing at a vestry meeting list Of sub
scrfptions to the parochial funds. The list
began as follows: THE vicar, a guinea;
Mrs -, half a guinea; an anonymous
donor, myself, % shillings. Exchange.
The anarchist had just hurled the bomb
simultaneously the democratic head OF
President LOubet and the royal pate Of
Alfonso XIII ducked to avoid the flying
M. Ie President" muttered the boy
king. (which on. Of US do you think that
With true Gallo politeness. Loubet dis
claimed the honor.
After you, my dear Alfonso!' he muir
INJURED, bowling deeply.-Cleveiand Leader.
Mrs Dorcas-What possessed you to buy
all those things you didn't want?
Mrs. Spendall-How stupid of you, dear.
I did want the trading stamps that came
with them.-Town Topics.
smithers made wad of money on a
turn of the market and went home with a
big roll to show his wife Rushing into the
front door he exclaimed:
Hello. my son. Wlsre's your mother?'
Up in the attic looking over last sum
rner's dresses. She says she can use some
of them"
And Smfthers secretively stuck the roll
back into his pocket and decided his emo
tional generosity had nearly gotten him
into trOuble.-Cincinnat Commensurate
bune.
Some people" said the tirn1d man. are
crirninal1y reckless. Now the fellow who
jumps on a moving train is a fool"
We'll" replied the clumsy fellow, ii
he's not a fool he feels like one when the
woman who own the train glares at him..
Philadelphia Ledger.
Dick Tate-BIiss Short-Isa bel-you have
been in my office foS two years now, and
have learned to love you better every
day. Will you be my wife2
Isabel Short-Oh, Mr. Tate, is it fair to
ask me to give up steady position for an
uncertainty brooklyn Life.