St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1905-07-01
BIZ MARGARET e. sANGsrER.

Il am candid person. always speak
my mind. There is no deceit in me- My
friends know where I stand. I never
mince matters. speak right OUT
The person who makes this declara-
ton of her independence is usually a
woman. Men are less given than women
to airing with pride their sentiments
and methods in human intercourse.
The lady asserts herself with an effect
OF settling rufaed feathers, and calmly
awaits the compliment she expects
from the listener.
But should she receive compliment?
Candor is an admirable virtue. But
candor with bayonet or sledge ham,
mer in its hand, may be very danger
Gus thing to encounter. Although one
speak the truth on every occasion, one
need not knock down ones fellows, nor
run amuck against the prejadices of So
ciety. The habit of speaking ones
mind at every opportunity, in whatever
company, savors of a self-esteem,
which is nearly as bad a quality IS n.y.
pocrisy. Why make truth disagreeaEle?
Why trample rough-shod on courtesy7
Why ignore the plain fact that it takes
more than one person to see some
truths, that truth may be an affair of
vision, and that with utter sincerity,
truth-telling blunderer may now and
then swear to a lie?
The experience of every court of JUS
tice verifies this statement People re-
tain false impression. They remem-
Der only half of what they saw. Few
memories are altogether accurate as to
names, dates and events. Desire on one
side OR the other makes an unconscious
bias. One of the hardest things in life is
to tell the direct, absolute, irrefutable
truth.
The lady who is so proud of her plain
speaking, is not thinking of court of
law, in which she might be as frightened
as any other novice, but of the family
circle. At the table, in the parlor, in the
evening, when the family meet, to her
husband, to her children, and to ac-
quaintances, she speaks her mind.
When John comes home in excellent
spirits over deal that he has success
fully carried through, she throws cold
water on his satisfaction by reminding
him of former disappointments.
Dear father always said that you
were not cut out for business man.
You are too sanguine. Anybody can get
the better of you in bargain. should
feel much easier if you we're a clerk"
This style of conversation is a distinct
damper on Johns enthusiasm A man
whose wife is a perpetual wet blanket
cannot easily hold his own with other
men. That his wife believes in him re-
enforces his enthusiasm and strength
ems his will. A wise and discreet wife,
if she happen to have doubt, keeps it
in her own bosom, and is far from the
brutal honesty that speaks its mind,
when doing so cannot affect the matter
in hand
I'VE miss Mrs. A. more than
words can tell" said woman much en-
gagged in works of charity. "After she
moved away we found it impossible to
secure anyone who could fill her place.
Beyond anyone ever knew, she had the
art of working agreeably with others,
and keeping different sorts of people in
harmony. She said such pleasant
things. When there was nothing pleas
ant to be said, she kept silence
had known Mrs. A. from her
childhood. knew her as strong we'll
balanced woman, who had opinions and |
convictions, but did not think it neces-
sary to go through the world with chip |
on her shoulder. When no principle |
was involved, she refrained from ex-
pressing what she thought, and partic-
ularly she was careful not to comment |
unfavorably on others, present or abb |
sent. In passing, it may be observed |
that, while it requires nerve to make I'M
friendly criticisms to the person who is
present, it is the nerve Of a rutfiall, not of
a lady, and its only excuse is s.n over
excitement. To say disagree
able things in public, in cold blood, even
II they are true and in measure de-
served, is a bit of cruelty, possible to
none but the ill-bred. To attack the alb
sent in any circumstance is cowardly
and infamous.
= .
There is kind of candor that sets a
peaceable family on edge and starts a
quarrel by its own rough impetus. 1t is
tolerably sure to be inopportune, to be-
gin a conversation when a man Is al
ready late for his train, or a girl is
dressed for party and has not time to
change her toilette. Plain speaking, be-
tween friends, when two of them are
alone, doors shut and curtains drawn, is
sometimes necessary, but it must be
adroitly, or it may leave
TELL me my faults says the party OF
he second part to the party of the first.
Tell me exactly where you think am
weak and what I can Go to reform my be-
t avior."
The experiment will be test of
Nine times out of ten it will
fatally flaw the friendship.
A man of talent and scholarly tastes,
very successful in difficult and ar,iuous
tOoh ~ INV LID AC1O W WAAtC |
] novel. 1t covered many pages Of pa
oer and occupied his leisure for year.
When it was completed he brought it to
! literary friend and asked for candid
criticism.
DO not spare me" he said; tell me
Ill the defects. can bear anything ex
,ept faint praise
The friend read the novel, and found it
Iull, didactic, and full of obvious plat ,
tudes, the clumsy production Of an
Imateur, the kind Of prosy book that !