Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-06-18
CITY DISCOVERER
In A TIGHT PLACE

humid atmosphere and the bla xing sun were
not ideal conditions for a stroll. and looked
about for a place to rest. Finally he came
| upon shaded bench by the roadside, One
end of which was occupied by a small. in
offensive appearing man with pointed
beard and dejected-looking mustache.
The Dfscoverer bowed politely and sat down
on the other end of the bench noting with
some surprise that the inoifensive looking
person was gazing at him with considerable
anxiety.
II beg your pardon" said the City Dis
coverer mildly. hut I trust you do not
mind my sitting here
That depends entirely on yourself" re-
piled the inoffensive appearing individual.
in querulous voice First tell me your
name. age. occupation. the country of your
| birth. your political beliefs and your pres
ent residence
The City Discoverer did so. astounded.
do not move" cried the inoaensive-ook-
ing man, quickly. as the City Discoverer
made a dive after his handkerchief. 'If
you do / cannot answer for the conse-
quences My personal bodyguard of six
teen sharpshootecs now have their rifles
aimed at your heart and any sudden move
ment would be rather indiscreet."
Il am not moving" said the City Dis
coverer. family he glanced around for
evidences of the bodyguard. you can
see that I'm not moving"
Continue to keep quiet" said the small
person. authoritatively, as the Discoverer
you have on your person at the present
time any dynamite giant powder nitro
glycerine. gunpowder-either black or
smokeless-ground glass. arsenic. slung-
or cobble stones.'
II have not" the City Discoverer an
swered, glancing wildly around.
ihen we can have nice little chat"
said the MISUNDERSTANDING individual
calmly. as he leaned back and looked the
Discoverer over in critical fashion. But
be careful of your movements, for the
reasons have mentioned"
May wipe my face?' the Discoverer in
auired after brief but eloquent pause.
You may" the small person replied, con-
aescendingly Il do not wish to be hard
upon you. But do 1t slowly"
The City Discoverer followed directions
with the greatest care and replaced his
handkerchief in his pocket. May ask"
ne inquired, with effort to preserve
his dignity. your reasons for this remark
able procedure?'
The habits of lifetime" the inofYensive
looking individual replied. with a sigh
at some three dozen times blown I'D on
an average of once a week and poisoned
every other month or so It may have a
tendency to make you somewhat suspicious
and rather careful"
Have all these things happened to you?''
the Discoverer inquired in an awed tone
They have the small person replied
carelessly. But they make I'D only small
treme annoyances morning noon and night
Only the other day I was playing with the
baby-my only boy-when one OF my at
tendants entered with a worried look. And
what do YOU Suppose he told me?"
II can't imagine" said the City Dis
coverer.
WELL said the small stranger. "he in
formed me at that time that my brother
had stolen two millions of the public funds
and that my cousin had been assassinated."
Goodness, gracious met" said the City
Discoyerer. What did you do so g.
IT see you appreciate the situation" said
the small stranger in a gratified tone.
Think of being annoyed in that way at
such time. / reprimanded the attendant
severely for troubling me with such trivial
matter when / was busy and dismissed
him."
Heavens said the Discoverer with
gasp.
81 knew you would feel that way about
it, said the inatfensive looking person.
But that isn't the worst Of it. The baby
had lsa rdly been put to bed. and was just
getting interested in a game OF dominoes
with my chief entertainer when another at
tendant entered. What do you suppose he
wanted?
II can't ina gine.'' replied the Discoverer
t'Why" said the small stranger in dis
susted tone "fle Informed me that the peo-
ple were about to begin a revolution. that
fifty thousand of our soldiers had been KIN
ed in battle and that one of my brothers
had been murdered and another Wouhueo
by an assassin"
.sMy landr' cried the City Discoverer.
clnging to the bench with one hand, what
did you dor
seldom" said the small stranger in
gratified tone ''have I met a person who
understood a situation better. Of course
there was but one thing to do. I severely
chastised the attendant who had inter-
rupted me at such time and gave strict
orders that no one was to be permitted to
see me while l was engaged
The City Discoveries mild blue eyes
We're round with wonder and astonishment.
and he seemed about TO fall off the bench.
"Were there any more vexatious Incl
dents?" he inquired in whisper
Yes" replied the inoffensive looking
person gloomily there were several. Hard
ly had I finished my game of dominoes. and
become interested in the latest French
novel. when I heard clamor at the door.
and another attendant demanded admit
lance And what do you suppose he
wanted?''
But the City Discoverer was past the pow
err of speech and only shook his head help
lessly. Well said the small stranger.
che informed me that six battleships had
been blown up and 1000 men drowned; that
the public treasury was empty: that 1.5oo
residents of the city had been slaughtered
by government troops: that my remaining
brothers had been marked for assassina-
ton; that 7 was TO be poisoned the next
day, and that the country was going to the
dogs?''
'.And what did you doe" whispered the
City Discoverer.
st squelched him by the power OF sar-
casm.' replied the small stranger, with a
slight show of enthusiasm.
sc oh. very WELL l remarked and turned
to my book"
"Was he sauelched?" inquired the Diseov-
erer. as he chung desperately to the bench
Completely" replied the small person, in
a gratified tone. eff remember rightly he
jumped out of the window and passed away
shortly thereafter
Excuse me. sir" said City Discoverer
as he arose cautiously from the bench and
passed his hand over his eyes in a dazed
way, but I have been very much inter
ested in your story and would like to
know who you are"
Your innocence is suspicious" remark
ed the small stranger he eyed the City
Discoverer distrustfully. fand would adj
wise you to walk backward until you are
out of sight. Otherwise you might have
cause for regret In case I am mistaken.
however, I will inform you. I am the
Gar of all the Russias."
Heavens said the City Discoverer.
after he had put about mile between him
and the inoffensive looking stranger who
would have thought it2"
DALRYMpLE'S D0UR DICTUM.