The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1905-03-23
WIFE MUST TELL,
SAYS SOME WOMAN
The Question Whether a Wife
Should Tell Husband of All
Her FIirtations Is Up

A discussion has been raging in some
papers about the question of whether
a woman is bound TO tell the man she
marries about all her hirtations before
she married him, and whether. If she
does not do So and and he should dis
cover later that she had been engaged
before, unknown to him, he would have
the right to make it grievance. All
sorts of answers have been made by all
sorts Of people. but 1t is one letter
which came to the attention of this de-
partment which raised its ire. 1t was
from woman who said that a wife
should confess everything to the man
she marries. tell him the story of her
life, in other words, and would not
have any happiness unless she did, but
should not expect man to do the same
as she had had no claim on his past.
mat strikes me as most extraordi-
nary statement for a woman in the
twentieth century. when women are
shrieking for their rights and telling
high heaven in nasal tones that men
have the best of everything. Will the
woman in question kindly explain why
there is obligation resting on her to
unbosom herself to the man she ex-
poets to marry, about her private af-
fairs, and no obligation resting on him
to do likewise? One right women have,
If they choose to take il. and that is
keeping their own counsel about love
AFFAIRS. Even the law does not oblige
one to incriminate ones self The man
who insists upon a confession of his
wifes love affairs, and then becomes
indignant if she in turn interrogates
him about his, is very poor kind of
man.
If it is dishonorable for a man to
tell his love affairs n his 1rifa 10
equally diShonorable for a woman to
tell or hers. And what ridiculous thing
for a woman to make a confession to
the man she marries; how undignified
and childish. II women object to put
ting men on pedestals, they certainly
ought not to champion the view of this
matter advocated by the woman re-
ferred to. Women are always fighting
the idea that there should be a double
code or morals, one for men and an
other for them, and yet in a matter
like this, they claim there should be a
rule for women and not one for men.
They declare they have no claim on
the past of men. but a man has a claim
upon the past OF his wife.
Why in the world a woman should
tell man what other poor fools have
asked her to be theirs is difficult to un--
derstand. When a man asks a woman
to be his wife he is paying her the
highest compliment within his power,
and If she does not say yes, ii should
be point of honor with her to keep
still about it. Where a girl is brought
up in certain set of girls and young
men who remain friends always, and
marrieS in that set, the girl whose
friend may have married a man she
has refused, would be a mischief max
er II she went about saying she had
refused Mr.. So-and-so. Even if she
told her husband, she would be doing a
foolish thing, because there is no need
of 1t. Probably many women do tell
their husbands these things but show
one husband who ever told his wife
how many fiirtations he had and with
whom.
One of the wisest things a woman
can do is to keep her mouth reSolutely
closed about her private affairs. AL
most anyone will grant that To be in
control of herself and act as If she
was grown up and not a child should
be the attitude of every woman over
twenty The clinging vine kind of
woman Vas all very we'll in another
age, but when women are I'm business,
taking care of families and claiming
to be on an equal footing with men, it
is strange to hear them take the side
of the argument that they have taken
since this question came up 1t would
seem to the writer that this was a
more important matter than suffrage
or the other things which women say
they want. In these days Of matrimo-
NAL uncertainty a woman should hold
her tongue.
Life cannot be altogether joy to the
man who has married the best friend
of the woman he first loved. Every
time the two women spend the after
Moons together he must be on pins and
needles. However. If one OF the women
is discreet and tactful. he would have
no cause for uneasiness. 1t Is not even
necessary for both to be discreet; one
tactful woman can save any number of
awkward situations.