New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-10-01
SOME PECULIAR PEOPLE.
Characteristics of JoneSes of Little
.HOUer.

The Oracle helped himself to a huge chew Of
tobacco. and discoursed Illuminating:
Il spose there's peculiar people in every village.
but for Ornery turns and unexpected Quirks IN
human natur. I never struck anything exactly Up
to the Joneses Little Holler. up where I used
to hoe corn Seems to me now there was about
bakers dozen Of EN-. and each a lot worse
than the last People round the village used to
call EN- the crazy Joneses.' but some o. 'en
wasn't at all crazy.
They didn't belong in those parts-moved there
when I a youngster. Father Of the batch.
folks said was son of a rich preacher, but got dis
gusted with most everything after he'd been mar
ried a while and Just quit existence The mother
Of the outfit went by the name OF Aunt Mary. She
was a little. dried-up old body. spry cricket,
but looked to be at least hundred and fifty years
old.
..Sbe drank Iaudanuu1 enough to kill two ordi-
nary merl Every day she'd take that stun just
like we'd drink cider. She said 1t did her good
She used TO tell the most awful stories OF what
happened to her after she'd take It and al the
children the place would walk miles out OF thelr
vay rather than pass Aunt Nary's house
- few years after they moved to the village
railroad was put through the township Aunt
Mary was gettin' little bit deaf. and one cay she
was on the track when the train come along After
tba ors,nnent she sat up in the field rubin her
self. IL, =.
kill me- she announces, real cheerful ana ns4pS
herself to some laudanum ~,
with meat Saw one of the neighbors dlgg1n' the
stuff one day, and asked all about It. Dug soin'
herself. and had awful weepy time sIa',ns -
Next day she hunts UP the woman WIZ 'O4o 49,
about IT. ., 49,. ,as how
40, car, cat that awful stuff. I only took q 1ANlo-
snoonful and it nearly choked me 10 ce4Oli-
Ill Oldest son was named Aulity. cause every
bodv hated him, guess. People 20 tA'0
+bair xvav TO avoid meetin' Amlty- ne HiAO0
-, - o+obin. sl,1nks and boin' out the OIL
.o0Tox+ CON was Tom-likely boy oe1oEe 10 W
. ~. ror Come back home smart as "IIp'
hut with an awful thirst for every eH -1,,tal-
vrater I'D to applejack-mosIly rum g. - o-5er-
tJa.d Law around the town and ten tHo 80,
-. ,o-,s 'bout how he escaped rom d pl49 '-,
orin. down hill in a barrel. and d lev ---,5
somebody'd get him few drlhAs' = :. come
set out 70 do up the place ana soiIS
near dom it. ~ -, q hard and
..EinalIv Tom got religion He got !. "a oDd
-. -, 20 church three times on SunoAS' an" ~
a,,ar1, little while ddrin' the Week =, 80, h.
the nrayer meetin's, and 1t was Il -, h-,,tb.rs
,,sa5 70 exhort the weak ana walluS' ,,,-top
80. n,out six months. though. ION .tss
80 - a,5 he went back TO the OLD Wal - -
"a +be bie thirst Mighty hard session, - had
a. locked up every little while ana "-"'-'
to dig out o. town oTs day with grip on Tes gem
Safhe GOOD while too that spell 1IS religion
got him again Went on he tl'HS wasn't any hypoeTits
haIu+ az tand gettin drunk. because estin' that
+ aOtS
neIp II. t5Ia him when he was sooe1 ..sufiful
die when he was SOBER ai" -
ppSevcr was nothin' OF the coward Otherwise
N .tber Tames-James the ApoSSIils. a. saw he
ms }{ vas sure mean cuss th Ee ~ 10 80 to
t ~ Sis Toreinger sos he wouIah t TTnpln'
CUT OH Tie used to walk UP the NAN sr three
LIZ "a Nm Inc stHngh1I anu SFoI' ~ any
e3s he took he'd turn clear rSuRa % 70 dodge
one M[ vs. officers folks said We ,ssir Just
sn Dozen Children behind him In a strs' aid First
as ne ITO ~ make him awful mad ona ava jim
~ Useo u, a. he got TO take II Just IKE q round
ys,atISs stu Twin understand HnP. a,,l5 work
Don Don't know how he lives for ne never
The prze package Of the whole og' i1st Ike BIS
tle las long on religion, but not JUS hissslf
bTnfper Tom He had It till he MAIL nile or more
bb,'gdsT 70 humanity Wore q race NJ ,5ess bout
IonS and used TO sound everybody on ccor ot the
..1ilsstv Of birthstone and the exact ,sstin's
SeTv DANES He used to lead Met til thatd las,
and talk for hours-the kind oil IKE got his
though Married girl they used n e siphur hsmss
70 her for while till she got ured 81 ~ Luke be
e. broOnstick to him. Last he5iS "a fOryOtesn
S S rnnnIn' decent little farm and ne" vxhen TIA
his religion enough 10 swear eloD17'
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