The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-11-04
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GOOD
Short Storiss

One afternoon, during ex-Ambassa-
country, the waves were unpleasantly |
high, and the ship was rolling a bit,
to the discontinue of some passen-
gers. Mr.. Choate remarked: 1T is
better to have lunched and lost than
never to have lunched at all"
A San Francisco Chinaman, with
the sententiousness Of his kind, after
some experience of American law. once
remarked: Chinese law, hrst-class;
man killee man, China, head off; no
ketchee him, somebody head off, meb-
bee cousin head of. English law, sec
ond-class; him ketchee man, mebbee
alice same head OF. Mclean law, no
good; too muchee slupleme court"
Two sailors were once seen together.
one reading a letter aloud, the other
holding his hands tightly over his com
panion's ears. An observer inquired
the reason for this queer attitude.
why" was the answer Of the one
who was holding the others ears, "the
letter Is from my sweetheart Jack
is reading it because l can't read my
self. That is all right. but l don't
want him to hear a word OF what is
written"
General Miles has a story Of a cor
poral In regiment under his command
n the old Indian fighting days. This cor
3oral was much chaffed by his comrades
for his oft-repeated expressions Of be-
lief In fatality" and destiny" One
day it appears that the corporal, while
off duty. was preparing to take little
horseback exercise and recreation. A
private observed that the corporal
took care to attach a brace of pistols
to his saddle. "Hellow shouted the
private to the corporal, what are you
taking the guns for? They won't save
you If your time has come" True
for you" grimly responded the corpo-
raj. but l may happen to meet an
Apache whose last day has come"
Major General willie" Mclean, v.
c., who rose from being a private sol
der to the command OF division, got
bis Victoria Cross for killing no fewer
than eleven mutineers, one after the
other at the storming of Lucknow
When the order was bestowed upon
Mclean and others, there was a gen
eral parade Of "every man who wore
a button" and Sir r. Garrett, who
pinned the decoration on the hero's
: | or 10 fhn or ~ lfffIf
: speech, in the course of which he al
Iuded to the episode as "a good days
work" 'Toots, toots, monP replied
Willie, quite forgetting that he was or
parade, and perhaps little piqued a
his performance being spoken Of as {
days work. ''Toots, mon, 1t did no
tax me twunty meenutes."
Mark Twain says that during bill
: career as a pilot the worst boat OF
the Mississippi was the Stephen ]
Hill. This boats untidiness was onl.
equaled by her slowness. Only stran
d, gers, only the tenderfoot, used hel
One afternoon, while the boat was pok
|, ing along down the river, a thick To-
!, drifted down, and the Stephen j. Hi
2 had to heave to for the night. AS sh
, lay there, swathed in gray, a passer
n ger said to the captain: ut is to
! bad we're going to be late, captain.
We amt goin' to be late" the car
- tain answered. But thought" sal
: the passenger, that we had to tie u
to this bank here all night" $50 W
r. do" said the captain, "but that ain
q goin' to make us late. We don't ru
so close to time as all that"