davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17

has been worth over S2 to me i think
 but to git back ? tho subgect the ole Christmas daze on the farm we'll well It maiks me get out my ole bandanna hankereheef & rub my eyes think of 1t. Christmas on the farm--why these dinEed city people don't know the reel meenin, the word Chrisama-
 them was happy daze 1 tell you. thare was piways q crowd of youngs- ters on Chrisnnas eve tot tell stories & roastN chesndtss & Mandy she always come 2--i don't meen she had tainted & come 2 meen she had come aiso--, which IS another joak (aifit i a yon- rnorist) --naw. haw. them was happy daze all right. & what fun 5throwin snow balls next day---lf thare was any snow but like ez notait wood be brite & clear & ideel A1abama christmas
 on Christmas morning we used git up & lite a candle long fore the golden dawn had flushed the sky over in the east with bulgin. eyes wood take a peek at the stockings touch them with fremblin fingers & finding them full wood sneak back to bed satisfied to sleep a little while longer
 & at ntte we always wound up with big dance-& that was reel fun-thc dance-Your Uncle Si might not of been so much of locker but he was a powfui fine dancer & he could swing a gal down the center & balance all to inc tune of Cotton Eyesd Joe" till 1t
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17

And now it's Christmas day once more And I'm bachelor as before. guess I'll have a lonely meal
 Here In my rooms I'll dine. On turkey and plum pudding and lit- Dash of wine. Was that the beli-now I declare
 want no company here.
 ages?"
 Boy. here's bill-now clear" We'll we'll. a muffier from dear Kate A note to call at nine. She says, Now. Jack, don't disappoint, We'll have some cake and wine." And this? A note from Margurite.
 Accompanied by a book. Be sure and call this evening
 To our little parlor nook" And this: Iris Evelyn's dear scrawl, 5 "A merry Christmas. Jack. Be sure and call tonighttat eight" And a silver. photo rask.. An. we'll dear girls. I'll see you all. Just how. do not say. But I've been through this thing be- A bachelors Christmas day.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
UNCLE SI WRITES FROM COON HOLLOW
Coon Hollow, Ala.

Christmas. Coon Hollow, Ala.
 pear Mister Editor:
 well christmas is here & 1t maiks 1 fall thfnkin of his boyhood daze christmas was then moar than it Is naow somehow believe mebbe i'm pre- tudeeced-but i'm farely in love with the ole daze. Mandy that's my wife thinks the same Of it
 ! think people hev come think 2 much of Christmas merely as a ex- change of presents rather than givin in the spirit for which the time Is in- tendeda
 a"feifer gives his girl a present these daze & she immedieiRhtly, begins to wonder what it cost she trots 2 her girl chum & asks her opinion of 1t she sez go to the stoar marked on the box she sez & ask the man she sez what 1t cost she sez & thare you R. if 1t cost lot of money the feller stands Ace high but if 1t cost a reasonable amount of money she will mark him fer life IS a cheep skate & so will the oth- CT girls. that's what Chrismus has come to meen.
 he'd a girl onct & know it was foolish & extravagant on my part but got kinder reckless Ca feller will do anything when he is in iove) & went to Scottsboro & spent seyenty-ate cents on one present for her---but l have new CT regretted the money spent fer.i got the girl. that's my wife Mandy-& she
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
Cbe Baebelor'S Christmas

An, well. it's the same old thing again
 I'm used to 1t by now. For many Christmases I've seem
 And still I've kept my vow To stick to single blessedness,
 My club and coZy den. But I'll admit l often think
 Of women now and then. There's Jones-ha. ha, he always said
 He'd never marry-so- Not if the girl had millions
 But he did, all right, know. And there was Brown--a clever chap, Who might have won renown. He swore he wouldn't. but he did,
 They're living up in town. And now its Christmas day once more, Still. I'm bachelor as before. We'll. we'll. I think of what ' sent-- Let's see--to Kate Malone ! sent a diamond breast pin
 She thinks I'm hers alone. To Margurite De ClanceYs--ah, 5 The dainty little peach--- sent a golden bracelet She thinks I'm at her reacn. < And Evelyn Won Marley.
 She of tall and queenly mien. sent costly necklace, She thinks I'm pretty green.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
H Song of Christmas.

Christmas is comin' A comin' jes' hummin'- Christmas Is a comin' In de Souf. De silver bells am ringin' :; De darkeys am singin'- Jes maiks a niggah watah in de mouf. Fo' dc visions come Q foatin. As see de boys totin' In de possum what dey kotched de
 night befo. Q we'll cook him brown an tender An eff nuffins comes toe hinder Ah'u eat possum meat on Christmas
 day once mo. Den heah's a song toe Christmas To Christmas in de Souf. Whar de sunbeams kiss de snowdrops
 froo dc trees. Whar at night de banjoeS tummin' Maiks yo' hand keep time a drummin'. An you smell de Christmas cookin' on de breeze.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17

Q An des thank Gawd Ah'm Twin, An An want toe go toe givfns All de gals kiss An meet along d~
 way. Eo' de Lawd he love a cheerful Sort O. River an I'm fearful Dat An won't be givin' sumpjn' on dat So banjoes keep a tummin' Fo, Christmas Is coulir' An Wsh all be jes' as happy as Msm Fo. life is full ob sorrow An no tellin' what tomorrow aaav nave In store fo' you ma frien' an Den heah.s song to Christmas To Christmas in de Souf Whar, de sunbeams kiss de snoxUAror~
 froo de trees. seRs eRs Whar at night de banjoes tummin. Maiks yo' hands keep time a drun,rifr,s An you smell de Christmas .cookin. o,
 de- breeze,i
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
Nflstnh Turkex riohhI.r

Mistah Turkey Gobbler-you Is mighty
 fat ah' sassy, Youse stuck up lax you wanter start
 fight. But remember dis-no bird he ever flew
 so high Dat he didn't sometime have to light. Gobble. gobble. rnbble all you want to
 Mistah bird After while we'll gobble you all
 right. Gobble. Robble. Robble. but remember.
 no bird flew So hieh he didn't some time have to
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
ID the Fronf Ynrd-

Angular Spinster-If you hang roun' this we're house much longer after I've done ordered ye off I pity ye. Dusty Dave-Don't do 1t ma'm-pity they say is akin to love. an can't take any chances.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
Ahaenf Minded.

Farmer Corncob-Hear whut thet dinged absent-minded city feIler dun last night over to Si Meadows?
 Farmer-Timothy-
 Farmer Corncob-Jes before retirin' he kicked the lamp out of tn room an tried to blow out tn cat.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
A ReveIntlou.

Billy--Mommer. can I go around the corner and see the fun?
 Mother-Why. son, there Is nothing funny round the street
 Billy-Yesum there is; I just heard pepper tell Uncle Frank to go aroun' the corner and have a smile with him"
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
Womnn,a CuriOaitv.

Mother: Johnnie l nm going s' whip you for slipping of and goinJ' over to meddle and see what the Jones had for Thanks9tving dinner.
 Johnny: But mommer they had suth a nice. dinners
 what did they have?" .t
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17

Mrs. OBrian: Oi d.n't think we are goin' to loik thot Mrs o'Toole whr has just moved in next door.
 Mrs. Casey. Why?
 Mrs OBrian. They say she do bc d Er-reat wan to talk about her neigh hnrS.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
Awful Punishment.

"oh. mother. say" Said Silly May, When her mother tried to whip her, When Chicago boys And girls make noise, Do their mas use SLIPPERY
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
The KnocIker'a CIub.

Ella-I gave Jack my heart for 0 Christmas present. .,, ~.
 Beila-I wouldn't give secondhand things. ,,- .i
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
Why DId shc Rnna

the pigs squealing while you cruel men away and hide. "
 Farmer Cor1Gob-You needn't to. miss. we kin tell tn difference.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
nemIh

love?" uePln VI Yes, indeed. Last summer when she thought she was going to drown he went in over his head after her"
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
oaG s 2 F z q 1 I3HH@guM C AN ALABAMA SENTIMENT. Ss

I a4f z An Alabama christmasn What vis- ions of good times the word contures I up in the brain of one who Is far away from homel The greatest State in the union--greatest, happiest time of the year. One can almost smell the Christ mas turkey cooking and see the kind l faced old black nanny bustling round to get everything done In time for the great day. An. life, with your long years--eLnpty years to somewhat q l pleasure to look back upon the days spent at home with the old folks and the good old Southern Christmas din- | ner. So. though far away tonight. we'll say three cheers for old Alabama and Christmas. Well. Uncle Hiram. did you enjoy the Hungarian violinist? Nawp; I sot thar two mortal hours an sweated down ten cent collar an danged ef he onst played Dixie or Cotton Eyed Jo." g
 Kind.
 Shelf you kiss me I shall scream He-Your father?
 she--oh. no; the other girls. It's Christmas. you know. and I'm not stingy.
 .o What i is do you consider good name Are LiShsi"
 Yes; he's always the brightest thing in town" May-Did you take in all that young Fay-W ell. wheE he. he called around to the sofa I gave close" attention to all he had to say.
 At the City Church.
 "si. whut's them pipes in the organ on sRe idoF S 1o dS~n tss the ssroa ssr tell the man when to stop piayin'."
 The Youthful Mind. Mamma Is Mir. Jones going to be an Why, yes. dear, suppose so. Well. mama. he's so fat don't see how he can flop hisself.
 Modern Games. "Biliy. did you give little Esther some of your candyT"
 ''Yessum; but we played she was the people and I was the Trust?'
 Disappointment. Dolly meath the mistletoe @ Sut Sa'iHT her iS popDers 8s f'ssa @issletSs satS% Is the reason don't go.
 That Dreadful Odor. Mama, the Highflyers turn their noses at our auto?"
 Well. dear. never mind that--peo- pie always do at automobiles
 ParndOxical. That brunette girl Is pretty light headed. isn't she?
 Yes; and that soft-headed feIIow she's with is a regular blockhead
 Those GIrls. Clara hung up her stocking for oluff"
 T always thought clara's stockings were bluffs-on Clara"
 QueeFing the Game. If you are good. Bobby. Santa Claux will give you a little tin angel And If am bad I suppose he win i've me the devil
 Chicago Girl. I thought you said that girl was So she Is. old man. but the ateet' are t fault.
 Complete Surprise. Biggs-rm going to give my wife lice Christmas surprise. IfQ~s--(Soinx to come hama mnhsAM4
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
Q g a ZEE EHH q E EG@G na0 Es THE CHNIC. E Q ' 6 @ s Egs U s a @ E {: E 3 Q

Here in my bachelor den With bottle and pipe ken The love-tangled curls of you@- The devilish eyes of blue. Hah! girl with the laughing face; You led me merry pace. We dined in the grand cafe, And I--fool-was glad to pay. I forgot twas only a game, As you kindled my heart to flame. Oh, crystalline woman of ice- And they ask was 1t worth the price? Well, the days are empty, girl, And the nights are like the days, But one thinks of the glad-mad whirI And it's worth the price he pays!
 CHRISTMAS GIF' "chris'mus .gif--hah. hah. ole Nassau ns o,s dont sns ot y9u pass sI,T1s, me Ry Sc, Honest. boss. An kotched you faiah-a
 present. please. suh buy "Chris,mus sttf. dis mawnin'-Chrts'-
 mus gin. "Chris'mus Riff. now massa deed. An De ole man needs, some Sunday pants. Evahbodys sS ana happS p fo ' der ders:s Dchrismus
 in de afr -.et' Christmas giff-dis mawnin'-Chris-
 mas giff. "Chrismus giff. de sweetest words of
 all on earth to me. Ans said em evah since An was a boy.
 you see. Ans travelled pretty far-an' soon Saint
 Peter'll say to me: 'Chrismus Riff-dis mawnin'-Chris-
 mas giff."
 Ought To. 'T'll never go out with Mable Flyo again."
 What did she do?' She repeats over all the signs on the cars"
 Well she'll make you a good wife 70 How so?''
 "She has all the signs"
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
Contentment.

Backbone, sausage, spare ribs, Bts' dat kin bo had Hog killin time in Alabama . Golly-ain't glad. Cold wave am a-comin',
 Chunk dat fire up quick. Hog killin time in Alabama, Give dat pig a stick.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
Over the Back Fence,

Tess: I'm crazy to go on the stage Jess: That's what I was thinking.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17

Mary had a little lamb
 It made me feel so gay, Because I was the fellow who For that dish had to pay.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
rhe aecref 0ut.

Why do you women always give your husbands such rank cigars at Christ mas?
 We do it to get them disgusted so they'll quit smoking.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
Eph.
"Eph is chicken he

Eph IS chicken hearted "
 "Gwan. niggah. fought he done bab mo nuve den dat"
 Hes got nuvc all right-what I me m is he's got feelln' in his heaht
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
Broke.

Broke, broke. broke.
 On the old grey world Oh. fudge
 And if don't get a job real soon They'll yank me fore the judge. Broke. broke. broke, But there's one thing to console, You cannot catch the microbes That in bills so often roll.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
Q s. 1: E Es s E E z: 6 E .s s ssG@ < THE CHRISTMAS BELLS. '. Q g 3 E g 2: s E s ....csH.

Oh the beautiful Christmas bells rini out
 On the glorious Christmas morn Reminding all mankind of when The dear Christ child was born. Of a lowly manager long ago
 In a far and distant land Of the sweet Mary mother dear Who held his baby hand% Oh what flood of memory dwens Within the bellS-the Christmas bells. Oh the silver bells Of Christmas day TO all mankind they seem to say Unto you this day was born The Savior on this Christmas morn As wise men once perceived the star mat their steps guided from afar. Sc w do the bells acclaim Gi % us to church to hear His name, " Witbip nat tSe fiSod SoS1s of bs sings dwell
 SINCE YOU CAME. Since. you came in my life so drear It hasn't seemed the same. The snadoWS seemed to fade away The night you spoke my name. And every star that pricked the skies Seemed blinking In jealousy, Because your beautiful love-iit eyes Were brighter than theirs could be- And every song bird chirps your name Since you came, dear, since you came. Since you came my heart has learned. With yours to beat in time. Since you came my life has turned Into one rosy rhyme. The laughter of the gurgIing brook Is not like yours, know. No rose within the garden nook Can match your checks red glow. And every breeze but signs the same Since you came, dear, since you came
 THE COUNTRY SAVED. Spare rigs and sausages,
 Backbone and ham.
 HOecake an bacon,
 Biscuits an jam
 Ain't agoin' to worry
 Life looks pretty sweet, Never mind tn country
 When you've got enough to eat. Christmas Is a comin'
 Chillun gettin' good.
 Runnin' roun' on erands,
 Fetchin' In the wood. Happy an contented,
 Landin' on my feet.
 I'll country'll get along all right.
 We've got enough to eat. Funny. isn't it?'
 If q fellow telli a girl she is q dream it's all right, but if he told her she made him sleepy, she'd get insuited. |"
 Lofty. He is a fellow of lofty ambitions. is le not? Yes; he always wanted to build an lirshlp.
 Spending. Are you going to spend Christmas with the home folks? No--with the storekeepers.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
ExDeriIneutInR.

"Willie. what are you dOing to the bahv?"
 Just squeezing 1t to make 1t say mamma and papa"
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
Surc.
KuockInR,

Have you no reason tO feel proud H'' ''Gf I had no reason why should I feel proud:''
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
At the Ran

There's Mrs: Highfiyer with blonde hair--she has dyed nine times"
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
He Told the Truth,

Visitor-Little man you seem to have lot of nicc presents here.
 Bobby-Yessum; there are my Xmas. Your Xmas-why Christmas isn't here yet.
 T know. but these belonged to m, ma-she's got divorce from pa. so these is my Ex-ma's."
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
Thnt DreniTuI Oaor.

Mama. the Highflyers turn their noses at our auto?
 Well. dear. never mind that--peo- pie always do at automobiles"
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
. 0EEGEGGmG.E. .S..s .

Q G33 E G E G g g G.g@ 1. s s c Course there's a Santa Clause. Bob and
 Jim and you. little bright-eyed I'm really quite surprised you tots that anything else you'd say. Now. come here. children; climb upon We'll look Into the fireplace and some
 pictures we shall see: We'll scrooch up close together while
 outside the cold winds scream; Drivin' long the snowfiakes and Old
 Santa's swift deer team. Why children. I'm astonished that you
 ask me this because On Christmas dent he come all right?
 Course there's Santa Claus. Course there's , sS1,a ElaqsmiSs. S ,s s.: And the little fat old gentleman who
 seems to never tire Will scramble down the chimney when
 you all have gone to bed And fore he fills the stockings will
 count up each sleepy head. Then hell laugh and put his finger up And he'll chuckle. chuckle. chuckic merriiv before he goes. Oh. the sunshine of his laughter seems Hes sure enough old jolly elf
 course there's santa Slaus. Course there's Santa CIaus-the
 same who use to come to me On Christmas time so long ago when
 life was glad and free. And had brothers-sisters true-just
 like you children here. And hung up nv stocking, too, on
 Christmas ev'rv year. An. sitting here tonight 1t seems I'm
 but boy again
 The 1ickerine flames bring pictures
 can make out very plain. Across the stretch of empty years I
 like to look and pause. Before was shattered childish faith
 course there was Santa Claus
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
Mnilern Gnmea-

"Biliy. did you give little Esther some of your candy?'
 ''Yessum; but we played she was the people and was the Trust?'
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
Natural Inference.

Nose: An seed Santy Claus las Chris mas an jo was black des Iak my papDy.
 R0: We'll huccome any kind e. Santv gwinter git down dat chimneV lessen he do git black?
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
EntrancInE.
There

was
 young
 maiden
 from
 Lansing, Who really was so fond of dancing, She'd dance and she'd dance Till she'd fall in a trance Then wasn't
 this
 maiden in-trancing?
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
L.nxe 1NIII FInd Wn,
The Latest.

Mother-Did you tell that young man to stop seeing you?
 Maude-I-I told him to stop coming.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
"A Powerful Dcscrlber."

"Eph. did yall git a Turkey 10 Christmas?"
 Don't An always git a turkey huccum y'all ax me sich a foolish question? Ah had a delicious brown roasted turkey cook to a kings taste wid large juicy dressin' an good. hot gravey oozn' an drippin' from him onto de plate while aroun' him rested some nice. sweet taters de whole thing emitting a fragrant odor oh savory cookin' dat was simply fasclnatin' to de uostrils-Huccum y'all ax me dat?
 Keep on, keep on. An didn't git any an yall describes 1t so delicious dat An kin almost taste It."
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
sAEEa cE.G sESEs sG ZEE =GgEgEGnGGGmoi@ CLAUS. s m m

 Once again Old Santa Claus. ... The good old elf you know, Way up in the northern land Amid the ice and snow. Is getting out his little sleigh And currying his deer. For he'll soon be coming, children, Like he always does each year. j:- His factory is going
 On full time night and day. Turning out the toys
 With which you're going to play. There are dolls with real hair That (unlike your sister Sue). When they are squeezed they will ex-
 claim.
 Papa" and mama" too. There are picture books-yes thous-
 ands- There are games of every kind, But Santa isn't coming . If your mothers you don't mind Be kind to one another, And above all don't you say There isn't any Santa Claus. You'll frighten him away. Yes, Santa Claus is busy, At his home at tho north pole And he chuckles while he's working He's a jolly little soul. And he's coming-don't forget it So Is Christmas drawing near. So just be patient children He will come again this year.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
PnrndnxicnI.

That brunette girl Is pretty light headed isn't she?
 Yes; and that soft-headed fellow she's with is a regular blockhead.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
nimnnnolmarnenf.

Dolly meath the mistletoe Waiting to be kissed I know, But her peppers ''missle-toeS Is the reason I don't go.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-12-17
3 GE.GG E :: Gg3E: {: s: Q
 ? THE YULE LOG. 2: D !. GG.. ZEE 2: Z: .s: E.E 3. Q

TS THE U LIZ LOUs Q. s 6 . 2: . E :: Z; .G G B G Z: c
 
 Bringing in the logs to make the fire
 on Christmas eve Boys and girls a vowing that in Santa
 they believe. / Another Christmas time is near they
 pile the l6gs on higher Until the great throat of the chimney
 laughs 10 feel the cracking fire John and Rob and Harry. Nellie. Maud
 Grace and Sue. All the children gathering round each
 trying something to do. Oh, where Is such picture that mans
 fancy cares to. weave As bringing in the logs to build the
 fire. on Christmas eve
 II. Outside the snow is aying-'tis the first
 one of the year; The cows and horses shiver and run
 to their stalls In fear. But inside all is warm and bright-the
 children gather round The dear old open f1replace-oh there's
 magic in the sound For just at nnidnight's mystic hour Gas
 often they've been toldJ. Old Santa Claus will scramble down
 the chimney from the cold. Upon the very hearth they stand he'll
 drop his pack then leave. Some well filled stockings where wu laid the log fire Christmas eve. Now all have come prepared to sit up late and keep awake. For may be old Saint Nick might run in early by mistake. So there within the hrelght's glow the laughter rings so free. As each one tries to guess what kind of present his will be. Roasting chestnuts. baking applos-all brimfui of fun. Rosy checked and really glad the long day now is done. At last each tot his stocking hangs the good things to receive The fire dies low-the logs fall in fires out for Christmas eve. Well. it's six one way and half a dozen the other" said the man as he slipped on the icey pavement sending the contents of basket of eggs equal ly on each side of him.
 Hard World. Don't you think 1t about time to get your Christmas turkey? Why, my goodness. l haven't gotten over my indigestion from that Thanks giving one yet.