Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1905-04-15
Wanted None to Know He Used
a Typewriter.
CAME BACK LIKE CAT.
Gave His Machine Away, but 1t Was
Returned to Him-Effect on
His Morals.

/ ADA-H' Ail- AiAttIt9tlAi5 ltttfI ONti llt SlS
nature of Samuel l.. Clemens Mark
Twain.
| Hartford. March 10. 1ST5-E. Remington
Il Sons, Ilion \. Y.-Gentlemen: Please do
not use MY name in any way. Please do
not even dtyulge the fact that l own a
| machine. have entirely stopped using the
| typewriter for the reason that never could
write letter with it to anybody without
| receiving request by return mail that
| would not only describe the machine but
state what progress l had made in the use
/ OF 1t. etc, etc. l don't like to write letters
and SO don't want people to know that
own TINS curiosity-breeding little joker.
| Yours very truly,
SAAIL. L. CLEMENS
NJ. Clemens publishers, Nossrs IIar-
/ per BROTHERS. were consulted about this
| matter, and note was sent by jhcm 10
MIR. Clemens himself, asking if the letter
was genuine. and asking if he really had
! 4 typewriter as long ago as that. lie
replied that his best answer would be
| found i'll an extract from his UnpuD-
! nShCd Autobiography, which he had writ
ter months ago while in Italy. This eX-
! tract he sent to Harper's Weekly, where
It was published in the issue Of March
| IL. gust thirty years after the date of
! tie letter quoted above. BY courtesy of
| MessrS. Harper x Brothers, we are per
| nltted to quote it.
| 1901. Villa Quaro, Florence January
| Debating autobiography to type
| writer IS new experience 10" me, but
/ 1t goes very well, and is going TO save
/ lime and Language the Kind Of Ian
| yua%a that S0othes yeXatlon
have dictated to typewriter before
| but not autobiography. Between that
/ experience and the present one there
! hes Il mighty gap-more Than thirty
| years: 1t Is sort of lifetime. In that
W''ie interval much has happened IL the
| t|relaachlne as well as 10 the rest OF us
Al DE beginning of that intervd. Il type
! mac'tne WAS Il curiosity. The person
| Vino owned one was a curiosity, 800
| But now it is the other way about:
the person who doesn't own ole is
hrst tl@e ln-What year! | suppose it
was iSI3-because Nasty vas with me
~ tie tine, and ii was in Bosom. We
must Lave been lecturing or We could
not have been in Boston, | Yak, it. /
quiite'l t. platform that season,
But mind about tina. ii i no
mite Wy and | saw the machine
| throug. .ldow, and went in 10 lcok
at it, salesman explained it to us.
showed us samples of its work. and
| said it could do tifEy-scvcn words min
ute-a statement which we frankly con-
feSSed that we did not believe SO he
put his lypc-sirl to work, and we timed
Ter by the watch. She actually did the
fftY-Seyen in sixty seconds We were
partly convinced, but said ii probably
coidn happen again. But it did. We
timed the girl over and over again--with
the same result always: she won out. |
she did her work on narrow slips of pa
per, and we pocketed Them as fast as She |
turned them ont, TO show as curioSities !
The price of the machine was $12J 4
bought one, and we went away very |
much excited.
At the hotel we got out our sims and |
we're a little disappointed to find that |
obey all contained the same words The |
girl had economical time and labor by |
using formula which she knew by |
heart. However, we argued-safely |
enough--that the first typcgirl must nat |
urally take rank with the first billiard |
player; neither of them could be eX- |
pected to get out of the game any more
than Il third or half of what was in it. |
If the machine s!IrTiyef-if it survived |
experts would come to the front. by and |
by. who would double this girls output |
without Il doubt. They would do 100 |
words a minute--my talking speed on
the platform. That score has long ago |
been beaten.
At home l played with the toy, repeat
ing and repeating and repeating THE
Boy Stood on the Burning Deck" until
could turn that boys adventure out at
the rate of twelve words a minute; then
l resumed the pen, for business, and only |
worked the machine to aStonish inquiring
visitors. They carried off many reams of
the boy and his burning deck.
BY and by l hired Il young woman,
and did my first debating Qetters, mere
lyl, and my last until now. The machine
did not do both capitals and lower case
(aS now, but only capitals. Gothic capt
tails they were, and sufficiently ugly. |
remember the first letter | dictated. Ii
was to Edward Box, who was Il boy
then. ] was not acquainted with him at
that time. His present enterprising
spirit is not new-he had it in that early
day He was accommodating autographs,
and was not content with mere sigma
lures, he wanted a whole autograph let
ter. | furnished tin type-machinc
capitals, signature and all. 1t was long:
it was Il sermon: it contained advice: also
reproacheS. | said writing was my /
trade, my bread and butter; | said it was
not fair to ask Il man TO give away sam
pies of his trade; would he ask Il black
smith for horseshoe! would he ask the
doctor for a corpse?
Now l come to an important matter
as | regard it. In the year ~ the young
woman copied a considerable part of
book Of mine on the machine. In a pre-
vious chapter of this Autobiography |
have claimed that | was the first per
son in the world that ever had fele-
phone in his house for practical purposes:
! will now claim-until diSpossesSed-
that l was the first person in the world
70 apply the type machine to literature
That book must have been "The Adj
ventures Of Tom Sawyer | wrote the
first half of it in 80, the rest of it in
a. My machinist type-copied book
for me in ~, 50 l conclude it was that
one
That early machine was full of ca
prices, full of defectS--levliSh ones. II
has rs many immoralitieS as the machine
of today has virtues. After wear or
two l found that it was degrading NV
character, so | thought | would give II
TO H0wcllS. He was reluctant. for he
was suspicious of novelties and unfripnC
ly toward them. and he remains so ia
this day But persuaded him. He had
great confidence in me. aud | got him To
believe things about the machine that !
did not believe myself. He took it home
to Boston. and my morals began 10 inn
prove, but his have never recovcred.
IIn Ennr Il SiN- MN. L.. -