Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1905-06-30

padup subscribers. also for those aho bey, Dor
r"w and steal the SrANDAKp In order that they
may enjoy Y little sunshine as they Journey
through this vale of tears.
Patrons of acknowledgements.
Photographers take the world as it
comes.
"Pm awfully stuck on you," said
the fly to the paper.
A cane is young mans weakness
and an old mans support.
Some people only experience touches
OF religion when they get the collie.
When Shskespeare's mother wanted
her son to confess che said, "W lillian
Tell"
This time of year the man of wealth
Finds life gay decever,
He takes a month off for his health
And gets the chils and fever.
A mans first trip abroad takes all
the conceit out OF him, but his coming
back fills him full again to overflow
ing.
Eve complained that she had moth.
ing to wear and her daughters have
been working the same old plant ever
since.
Many clerks in grocery stores do
not know what you ask for when you
call for pieplant. You must say rhu.
barb, you know.
The average man is always anxious
to know the worst OF his neighbor-
probably because of the fact that mis-.
cry loves company.
Short reckonings are supposed to
make long friends, but when you be.
gin to reckon on making a touch, your
friends are usually short.
Il don't deny" said Bibulus,
That whiskey is my foe,
Thatsh jesser reashon that likesh
The poison stuff (hic) 50,
The good book saysh that We must love
Our enemies, y KNOW"
1t is the exception to find the full
hedged society woman who says any.
thing that is worth hearing. Go into
the circles of the elite society and
you'll hear nothing but silly twaddle.
We suppose there are women in
heaven WHO have been there five hun.
dred years, who are still wondering
why their husbands don't come, half
suspec,ing that some woman is de.
tanning them.
A woman in Kansas City looking at
another woman to see what she had
on, fell out OF fourth story window.
This only goes to show that some wo.
men in trying to follow the fashions
can 60 too far.
We dearly love the old songs,
The songs of long ago,
| The worst OF singers cannot spoil
| Their music's homely flow.
Those old strains seem the sweetest
For this reason, I've no doubt,
We do not have to rack our brains
To tell what they're about.
Leaving Seattle owing thousands OF
dollars, goes away, returns, pays every
dollar, and recently was a guest OF
President Roosevelt, At q dinner At the
White House. The up to.date novel
est could do far worse financially than
writing the escapades, the ups and
downs, the remarkable life of L. s. j.
Hunt.
A young society man in Seattle
composed the words aud music of a
song and dedicated it to his sweet
heart. In one of the verses he said
her mouth was like a cowslip, but
imagine his chagrin when the printers
returned the song and had spaced the
word cowslip to read "cows lip" Un-
happy song writer. Poor girl.
A little green apple hung up in tree
Calling, Johnnie, come Johnnie, come
Johnnie,
And it W as as modest as modest could be,
Saying Johnnie, come Johnnie, come
Johnnie.
And Johnnie he came in his sweet
childish way
And ate up the fruit as his own lawful
prey
And the Angels in heaven are singing
to-day,
Here's Johnnie, here's Johnnie, here g
Johnnie.
The great minstrel, George Prim-
rose, was in need of amusement.
"Wby, when not on the road, do
you have such q large number OF
comedians in constant attendance
upon your" asked the reporter.
Because" he replied, with a
chuckle. {" l could not earn the name
of The Great Minstrel were l not
careful to have my wits about me-"
Billy Kersands. the colored minetrel
has large sized meat.trap." as col
ored performers say in the business
His mouth measures in circumference
eight and half inches. He put An
entire issue of the Chicago Sunday
Herald, recently, in this cavity, and
when he sings his laughing song the
Southern poet was right when he said
referring to Kersands:
His mouth was like cellar
His foot was like ham,
His eyes were like an OWLS at night,
His voice was never calm"
Four pages was the space occupied
by the u. L. Holmes Furniture Co
Sunday, June Is, in the P.-I. This il
using printers ink as it should bt
utilized, to tell the plain folk" where