davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

Miss Jennie Crocker Of San Fran
cisco has Just reached the age of Is
rnd come into possession of 5000 900.
Titled foreigners will please file pho
tographs Of themselves with their ap-
plications.
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

Search the scriptures, A pious citi-
zen persistently refused to pay his
taxes until the collector referred him
to the concluding portion of the sew
enteenth chapter Of the gospel accord
ing to St. Matthew. Then he paid
mp.
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

A Los Angeles florist has developed
the green carnation at last. but prob
ably it will never appeal to so large
a percentage of the public as the
green apple does.
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

They are naming race horses. cheap
cigars and corn cures after Kuroki-
But we refuse to pity him. He was
warned before he started out to be
come famous.
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

1t appears that when Max Lebaudy
set up in business as emperor of
africa he hired poet laureate. We
are sorry to have TO add that he did it
merely because he could get one
cheap.
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

Mr.. Edison's doctor has ordered
him to quilt thinking for the next few
months. Let him butt into the -Four
Hundred and he'll give up the per
nicious habit forever.
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22
S1OO Reward, 500.

TIE readers Of this paper wfl be pleased to lean
tsAi here = AZ least dreaded disease that science
Ia. been able ~ cure In AL It's stages. and that
CA;srrh- Haifs CAtArrh Cure i- the only positive
cure n4E Eao~n 70 the medical fraternity. CatArrk
being constitutional dlseAse requires a canstltu-
uonAl treAtinc1t HArs CatA-rE Cure T. taken In
NraAliT. acting directly upon the blood and mucous
srrfAees Of the system, thereby destroying the
folndAtiou Of the disease. and giving the patient
strength by building the Constitution and assist.
Ing nature In doing it, work. The propreio-s hAye 9
80 much fsith IN It's curative powers that they oer
one hundred Dollars for any case that Il falls TO
care send for list of testimonials,
Adt-ess ?. j. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, o.
sod by all Druggists. sSc-
Take HAITs Family Pm. for constipation.
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

The examiners found 500 in cash in
a Chicago bank which was capitalized
for 81 600 600. No explanation is Of
fered as to how the officials Of the
bank happened to overlook it
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

Not a few people will sympathize
with the boy who. when he was asked
what he would like to be when he grew
up to be a man, replied: "A centena-
rian"
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

Bachelors and club men are the
bandits. guerrilias and outcasts of so
ciety." says Dr.. Benjamin Ide Wheel
er The doctor seems to be almost as
elephantine Joker as Prof Osler.
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

A Chicago judge has placed the
price of hugs at 81. This decision,
however. does not prevent persons
frcm privately agreeing on a different
price. and a man who has the proper
magnetic and diplomatic qualifca-
tons can probably succeed in secur-
ing terms much more advantageous
than those handed down By the court.
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

Authoress of one of the brochures
on How to Manage Your Own Hus-
band" has had her better half arrested
on the charge OF wife beating
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

a contemporary alleges that the
giraffe can kick harder than any
other animal What's the matter with
a defeated candidate?
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

A New York dentist accepted COM
mission to repair the molars Of a
prize bull dog Notice Of funeral here
after
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

Wonder that nobody has yet sug-
gested the advisability Of employing
Digger Indians to dig the Panama
canal
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

An eastern paper refers to her as
"olc Mrs. Chadwick" She undouhtet-
Iy deserves punishment, but ought il
to he as severe as this?
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

Col. Astor lost six $1,000 bills in a
thezter the other evening Most of US
couldn't be so careless If We tried
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

William Dean Howeils IS SIS. but II
would take two or three strong men
to hold him for the chloroforming
process
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

John L. Sullivan opires that there
Is one more fight in him. There Is.
but the adversary has a pretty gener-
al reputation of never getting knock
ed on. in his final houts with mortais
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

The Savannah News wants clean
paper money" We can clean up all
we can get hold OF. as q rule
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

A New York woman wants to know
Why married life is dull Certainly
rot for want OF sharp" answers
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

The woman who sold one of her
fingers for $500 had already given her
whole hand away to a man tor the
mere asking.
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

Come rest IN this bosom. my own
stricken trust, when the other states
tell you to get up and dust.-New Jer-
sey.
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

The grief Of Japan over Russia's IL
te-ual troubles IS not inconsoiable. Ii
IL wholly under control.
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

George Ade gets 81 900 a week. and
the dyspepsia thrown in on the side
the inside, il fact
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

One reason why the girls with high
ideals never get married is that they
are too homely.
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

Just think of it, Good, pious Masza-
chrsetts has outgrown the state prison
at Charlestoxn.
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

When the shoe manufacturers. in
convention in New York. announce
ttat the women Of the future will
have bigger feet, they mean, of course
orly that they will wear bigger shoes.
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

There are times when the Ohio river
is this courtry's yeIiowest streak
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

Ger OF tne ReDeccdS'
of Topeka, Kans.,
Room 10. s12 Kansas
Ave, writes: Il used
Doan's Kidney Pills
during the past year
for kidney trouble
and kindr d all
ments. I was suffer
ing from pains in the
back and headaches.
but found after the
use of one box of the
remedy t h a t the
troubles gradually
disappeared. SO. that
before | had finished
a second package l
was well. | therefore
heartily e n d S e
your remedy"
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22
EA

Fine tea brings-out con-
versation If anything will |; it
compels to little leisure.
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

1t is said that Mr.. Cannon has been
fired out of the Mormon church. You
have probably heard the report.
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

Bank notes are great germ carriers.
Burn your money.
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

The man who makes his living out OF
politics doesn't believe in political eco
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22
EA

One fingers long over tea,
if the tea is fine. 1t is a
good time and place to linger.
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22
A QUICK RECOVERY.
A Prominent Topeka Rebeeea Officer
Writes to Thank Doan's Kidney
Pills for 1t.

Mrs. C. f. Bumgardner. a local off.
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22
TO CURE A COLD IN {

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY
Take Laxative Bromo outline Tablets. All drug
gisis refund the m0ney II it fails TO cure. Z. ".
Groves signature 10 GA each box sc.
Eternal vigilance is the price of not
getting found out
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

(Signed) Mrs. C. E. Bumgardnef.
A FREE TRIAL-Address Foster
Milburn Co., Buffalo. n. Y For sale
by all dealers. Price, so cents.
The Lamar register., 1905-03-22

1t is easier to applaud than it is to
win applause.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-01

in the past three years In which his
own anti-boodle campaign has been
fought to a successful finish with his
election to the governorshlp, and his
campaign for the enforcement of the
anu-gambling and Sunday laws has
been inaugurated, Missouri has flour
ished as never before in mer history.
immigration has increased 20 per
cent over any previous record. The
valuation of lands has increased 90
per cent above previous records OF
incarease. Reports OF exceptional
growth and prosperity come from
every county and town
In the cities OF St Louis, Kansas
City and St Joseph, where the anti
vice laws have been enforced by state
boards under the governors instruc-
tions, Governor Folk points to un-
usual conditions of business activity.
In all of them there have been ex-
ceptonal increase in land values and
record-breaking activity in the real
estate markets and other lines of bus
mess. With the state debt wiped out
and a growing surplus NIissourrs low
taxes will soon be further reduced.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-01
EFFECTS OF BETTER MORALS.

Within the past year Missouri has
been the storm center of moral re-
form. No other state has made such
radical and extraordinary changes in
habits and customs. Laws that were
never enforced have been rigidly en-
forced. and the law-breaking element
everywhere has said that such action
on part Of Governor Folk would ruin
the state financially and drive busi-
ness away
This is always the cry Of the law
breaker. He imagines that his is the
only business In the world He be-
lieves that II he is curtailed In his ille-
gal practices, the world will stop. He
believes, whe ther honestly or not, that
all society depends upon him and that
special fayors must be shown him, in
order to maintain the equilibrium of
society and business.
Here is something from the Shell
bina Democrat, one of the leading
country papers Of Missouri. showing
the effects Of Governor Folks reform
in that state. II is worth remember
ing for It disproves the statements
that good morals drive business away
from a state or city The Democrat
says:
In his speech at Dodge City. Kan.
Governtor Folk offered a novel argu-
ment in favor OF reform. Departing
from the common plea for public
morality because It is right, he told
the Kansans that law enforcement is
good business and presented many
facts in support of his statement
The governor pointed out that with
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-01
STUDIES OF THE VERNACULAR.

This is the conversation between the
girl with the 5O-cent earrings and the
girl with the gold-plated bracelet on
her wrist.
"Sayliz! Halter vacation yet?"
Nope. Gettit week afnex Hal
jors?"
Bet! Haddagoodun, tool"
Where jugo?'
"Allaroun. Crosslake. Downtin-
dinapolis. Gonnaweek. Mettalotav-
old friends naddasplendidtlme. Sum-
pindoin' everyday sayliz, did jevver-
go indianapolis?
Nope"
"sallright few gottalota friends
there. Punk few amt. Gotcher
place picked out chet?"
"Y'bet! Imagoin' twaukshaw. Cues
sile gofum there T. the country"
"Wawfor?"
"Ojuscause. Gottabuncha kidsa-
-Libbenjinnentom. Mawsez they
vail cottage
"Stoobad! Sayliz, howja like Gus
peters noomus tash?"
Punk. Else him I'd shave"
'Sodi Aingotno use frim anyway. -
''Nelthervi. Well. slong."
''Slong. g."-Chicago Tribune.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-01
LESSENING THE SHAME.

Humanitarianism is to enter into
the methods of the Oregon peniten-
tiary under the administration of Gov
ernor Chamberlain. Noe only is hu-
manitarianism being introduced. but
utilitarianism as well.
1t is not enough that prisoners
should be confined in prison, in pun
ishment. with the shadow of their
shame constantly impressed upon
them, but they should be made use
full and given to know that any effort
toward self-redemption, regeneration,
self-improvement is appreciated by
the state. and will be rewarded by
commensurate favors and confidence.
This is the ideal of Governor
Chamberlain and toward this end
striped uniforms will be abolished in
the state penitentiary. except as a
special punishment Grey uniforms
are being adopted, with view to les
sening the degree of shame and miti-
eating the surroundings of prison life
as much as possible, In hopes of re-
viving every spark of manhood and
self respect in prisoners.
The old notion prevalent since the
dark ages, that prisons are intended
for torture, should be cast aside. True,
certain classes of criminals deserve
little commiseration. but a larger class
will be responsive to good treatment,
and upon their release will become
less menacing to society if they have
been made to feel that something is
expected from them, than If they We're
ever impressed with their utter worth
lessness and depravity.
More work and less time for plots"
is the motto of Governor Chamberlain
and 1t will be beneficial to the state,
If carried out to the letter.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-01

years later when upper California
was annexed to the United States,
from Ramona" a novel written by
the late Helen Hunt Jackson. 1t is
pathetic and distressing story--noth-
ing but tears and trouble-but 1t is
said to be the most accurate and
graphic description of the conditions
and customs of those old days that
was ever written.
IT. is immensely popular in this
country, to, and the name Ramona"
is seen as often in the southern coun-
ties of California as that of Cleopatra
in Egypt Everywhere you go, places
associated with Ramona" are point
ed out to you, and there are several
spirited disputes concerning rival
claims. William f.. Curtis i'm Mem
phis News-Scimitar.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-01
SOME ALFALFA BEATTITUDES.

Blessed are they that expect moth
in, fer they're mighty likely to git it.
Blessed are they that are strong to
endure much. fer they probly'll have
"a chance to do It
Blessed are :he kickers, fer they're
mighty apt to git waited on fore the
decent people in the rest'rant.
Blessed are they that have faith. fer
they'll need 1t all.
Blessed are they that don't think
fer themselves, fer they needn't feel
lonely.
Blessed is he that's without envy
an malice, fer his neighbor prob'ly'll
give him all he needs without chargin'
fer 1t.
Blessed Is he that knows least, fer
he's always able to tell the rest of us
what we orto do.-A. ]. Waterhouse
IN San Francisco Call.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-01
NEW NATIONAL HYMN.

The New York Daily News is not
satisfied with THE Star Spangled
Banner" 1t complains that the words
Of the official national song are not
appropriate for all occasions and that
the air is beyond the compass of the
average voice.
The hymn MY Country 'Tis of
Thee" the News reminds us, Is set to
the music Of God Save the King"
Therefore the News offers a gold
medal for an original setting Of MY
Country 'Tis OF Thee" The method
Of deciding which air submitted de-
serves the prize will bo arranged
hereafter. The melodies approved by
the musical department of the News
will be published in that paper.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-01
MISSIONS OF SAN DIEGO.

Some Of the finer arts taught by
the monks at the early San Diego mis-
slons still remain--such as basket
making, lace and drawn work, leath-
er work and embroidery in gold and
silver thread-and considerable rev.
enue is derived by the Indians In SELL
ing speciments of their handlwork to
curlo dealers and tourists.
The records of the missions show
that 100000 cattle, 10000 horses.
several million sheep and an immense
number Of domestic animals, valued
at millions of dollars, were grazing
upon mission pastures at the time of
the secularization-that Is, the sup
preston of the monastarles by the
Mexican republic.
The total average income Of the
missions at that time was more than
50, 900 year. 1t is stated that at
the eighteen missions there were 49,
500 communicates. Practically all
this property was destroyed and stol-
en-.
When the padres saw that the pbli-
tlcians intended to confiscate their
farms and cattle they converted them
into money as rapidly as possible;
but at most places there was no one
to buy, and the property was seized
by the avariclous Mexican authorities.
You can get the best account Of
those times and of the disgraceful in
cldents which occurred thirty five
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-01
ITALIANS EAT QUININE.

According to an Italian journal, It.
ally consumes six tons of quinine ev-
cry year Thirty-two million people
quinine every three hundred and six
ty-five days. When it Is considered
that five gta:us =; quinlnr make a
good strong dose for the average per-
son, this six tons make a good deal
&C puirine for thirty two million peo-
pie We leave 4 :. come oE= else to
figure out how much each Italian is
taking annually.
No one can meas It the nnrm that
this :, rt of thing is doing. Lttr Won
der that the Italians are nervous
HnG unhealthy people. Who is re-
sponsihle for this enormous consumr-
ton of quinine in Italy? How i1uch
are the doctors doing to prevent this
bad work? How much are the doc
tors doing to help it along?
I: some one should rise up in Italy
and attempt to cure disease without
the use of drugs, the doctors would
be driven into a fury. But they can
sit calmly by and see the people eat
quinine to their destruction without
raising a voice in protest. They can
even pocket, without a blush some Of
the money which the quinine brings.
Medical Folk.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-01
Worlds Largest Tree.

During the month of August, 1902,
there was discovered in the Sierras,
east of Fresno, Cal. the biggest known
tree in the world. 1t was later visited
by John Muir, the naturalist, who re-
ports that its circumference at the
base is 109 feet, or a diameter of SO
1-2 feet At four feet above the
ground the circumference was 81 feet.
This tree is considerably larger than
General Sherman" and General
Grant" the two which heretofore
we're the recognized monarchs of all
big Trees"
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-01

The Baker City Democrat says that
the effort of Pendleton people to Sc
cure another main line train on the
o. r. & n. was actuated by the Port
land Oregonian, in order that it might
get inta Eastern oregon earlier and
thus supplant the local papers.
Neither Pendleton nor the o. r. & N.
company belong to the Oregonian,
and whatever efforts might have been
made in this line were made with a
view to accommodating the public,
and not the Oregonian. Pendleton
papers are not afraid of an onslaught
from the Oregonian. If Baker papers
are thus afflicted they should fortIfy
by improving.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-01
MISJUDGED MEN.

What often appears to be egotism
and self-conceit in public men is moth
ing more than absorption in their life
work. This has proved to be the case
In numerous instances, although It is
not always the rule.
Many public men and men employ
ed in high positions. have so many
duties and responsibilities that they
become wrapped up in their work.
They have no time for social enjoy
ment They have no time for visiting
with neighbors. They are simply
forced to the limit of their capacity
for work, and concentration in their
work is too often mistaken for con-
ceit.
II is unfortunate that such impress
Sions get out. for they often make un-
necessary anupathies and dislikes.
The statement of Prof. E. B. Conklin,
quoted in yesterdays East Oregonian,
concerning the affability and demo-
cratic spirit of Benjamin Ide Wheeler,
Is a revelation to many. The entire
attitude Of Conklin toward Wheeler
has been changed by contact with the
great educator.
Too many of us misjudge men and
form conclusions on superficial evil
dence which is too often wrong. It is
time enough to censure a public man
after it is known conclusively that he
is egotistlcal. 1t is unjust to do so
before such knowledge is definitely
gained.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-01

1t upsets a man terribly to lose his
balance at the bank.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-01
= +++ ++* 80 = : :

= Here is a hand for the man who =
, tries 4.
, And doesn't give up the en- :
, deavor, =
, Who captures the moment be- +
, fore it flies =
, And makes it his own forever! +
, Here is hand for the man who +
? strives, +
, Though the heavens be black 4
above him: 4
; Who does the deed, though 1t +
, fails or thrives, =
Assured that the white gods +
love him! +
A. ]. Waterhouse. +
, = = = + = I. = j. !. + + I.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-01
CONTAGIOUS
BLOOD POISON

Contagious Blood Poison more thor.
oughly poisons the blood than any other
disease. Every part of the body is af-
tected when the virus becomes intrenched
IN the circulation; red eruptions break
out on the skin, the mouth and throat
ulcerate, glands in the neck and groins
swell, the hair falls out, copper-colored
splotches appear on the body, etc.
I was afflicted with blood poison, and
the best doctors did me no good, though
I took their treatment faithfully. In
Iact seemed to get worse all the while.
TOOK almost every so-called blood rem
eedy, but they did not seem to reach the
disease, and had no effect whatever.
was disheartened, for 1t seemed that
WouIt never be cured. At the advice OF
afr..-ld then took s; 8. 8. and began to
improve. continued the medicine, and
1t cured me completely.
Hamlet, N. O. w. R. NEWMAN.
So highly contagious is this disease
that many life has been ruined by q
friendly hand shake or from using TIE
toilet articles of one affected with the
poison. To cure this hideous and hate
tul disease constitutional remedy is re-
CURED. S. S. S. goes down to the very
root of the trouble and forces out every
particle of the virus from the blood and
cures the disease permanently. S. S. S.
Is purely vegetable and drives out the
trouble, rootand
=: e: !: :; q: ; !:
been cured by
PURELY VEGETABLE. S. S. S. can feel
assured that
none OF the poison is left in the blood to
transmit to innocent offspring. The en-
tire body is built up and the blood made
pure, rich and healthy by this great rem
edy. Book with instructions for home
treatment and any medical advice desired
will be given free of charge. =
THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO., Atlanta, Ga.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-01
St.JosephSAcadem

PENDLETON, OREGON.
Under the direction OF the
Sisters of St Francis. OF Phila-
delphia. Resident and day pu-
pills. Special attention Given TO
music and elocution. Students
prepared for teachers examin-
atoms for county and state GER
uficates. For particulars ad-
dress
SISTER SUPERIOR.