Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-06-24

lions and tigers and elephants and
spotted horses, and 1t didn't seem 80
sinful as I'd allus thought for"
But you found it sinful when you
got thereY' asked Moses Schemerhorn,
who rings the bell for prayer meetings
and thinks no windmill man can be
saved In any shape.
mo, can't say as did," slowly re-
piled Deacon Spooner. That's the
amazin' part Of it. l had more fun
than In chasin' down wild hog or
cleanin' out bumblebees, and l didn't
see single sinful thing. That's my
defense-that come home uncontami-
mated and untouched. Pm a-feelin' ev-
cry bit as good as before l went"
There was long drawn sigh and a
shudder all around, and the minister
said:
Deacon, you may tell us what you
saw there"
WAL, the first thing I run up agin
was four elephants. They was f1appin'
their ears and eatin' hay, and 1 didn't
feel no sinful thoughts as / stood and
looked at 'em. Can't body see ele-
plants and be saved tooY
go on, deacon"
"Then l took in the camels and
zebras and CRATES. / looked at 'em
over and over ag'in, but l didn't boil
over and want to swear and fight.
Fact is, felt powerful peaceful over
1t. Is it agin me to look at critters
with humps and stripes and long
necks?'
But they was connected with a cir
GUS" protested Deacon Tyler.
"Yes, believe they was, but l
couldn't help it. After l got through
there, went over to look at the rhi-
noceros. By gum, but he was hefty
Sritter. He weighed as much as two
| cows and calf. admit that felt
little bit sinful when lookin' at him.
! made up MY mind that if critter
like that ever tackled me in the road
at night I'd bust my suspenders tryin'
to knock his horn off. 1t is too much
to ask that my sin be overlooked?'
1--WE will hear further" said the
minister, who wasn't looking SO solemn
as he might
"Waal, they had an ostrich, two alli-
gators, four hyenas and sacred bull
from India. l took em all in and
nothin' happened. l didn't even feel
like offerins to bet that l could hoe
two acres of corn in day, old as
am. If was hurt by SEEM them crit
tiers and things I'm willin' to- give in,
but I'm sayin' that don't feel like
CALM any one liar"
"And you didn't feel that you had
sinnedT' queried Moses Schemerhorn,
as he shook his head in a solemn way.
mot feel even wanted the
bosses to 60 faster and the fellers to
come climbin' around with pink lem
onade and charged me 10 cents for a
small glass l did wish / had him In
a ten acre lot for about two minits,
but the feelin' passed off as soon as
/ had drunk the lemonade. / guess
you'd have all felt the same, wouldn't
you"
The deacon was turned out Of the
room and the investigating committee
went into executive session, and an
hour later it had
! Resolved, That while Deacon Spooner
had attended the circus and was liable to
feel sinful, he saw the animals first and
didn't feel sinful. and is therefore exon
Grated from all blame and is advised not
to do so again.
M. QUAD.
Alfonso's Fishing smacks.
The story of the king of SPANS visit
to the fish market in Paris, where he
gave the so-called queen of the mar
| ket kiss and bracelet and was
enthusiastically kissed by a crowd of
fishwives in turn, forms a pleasant
contrast to the wicked attempt upon
his life as he drove back from the
opera. But the scene became so siren
uous at last that he had to be rescued
by his escort.-Providence Journal.