Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1905-07-25
MARRIED FOURTEEN YEARS.
Georgia Couple Have CLIO ouarrels
and No Babies.


Georgia Couple Have CLIO ouarrels
and No Babies.
In the vicinity of Augusta lives a
farmer by the name of John Madgett,
who has appealed to the courts of
Georgia to release him from the gall
ing bonds Of matrimony on the ground
of incompatibility Of temper. Dur
ing the ID years Of their conjugal rela.
tions Mr.. Madgett makes affidavit that
he and his wife have quarreled Clio
times. Mr.. Madgett is thus statisti.
cally precise because from the very
day the preacher tied the knot he
kept a domestic diary, with the posi-
BILE view TO future divorce contingen.
eies. Having tins acted as the histo-
rian of the little domestic infelicities
that are wont TO sometimes ripple
even the placid surface Of true love,
Mr.. Madgett is enabled TO furnish his
lawyer with a tabulated classification
of these divers and sundry conjugal
spats. IL seems, from Mr. Madgett's
record, that the period Of his double
blessedness, was fruitful Of 436 quar-
rels a year, to strike a yearly average
of the imposing aggregate, which
gives an average of a quarrel day
and some 20 spare.
II appears from the concrete record
that the most prolific source of strife
in the Madgett household has been
late meals-l5s9 scraps are duly en-
tered on this common score Of domestic
unpleasantness. Next on the sad list
is "Because she asked for money,
2241" Because he was chided for
tracking mud into the kitchen caused
s2l "seenes" Because he snored
raised 422 nocturnal disturbances, and
her snoring added 1876 10 the list; l45
times they said hard things at each
other because she ripped seams with |
his razor, and 1853 times he demonstra
ted his displeasure because she did |
not make dumplings with the chick
en- stew Her cold feet o. nights
caused him to raise the roof 1913 times
and "a times they exchanged heated
words and sticks of stovewood because
she sold the eggs and butter and
bought calico dress patterns with the
proceeds. Forty-three times there was
trouble because she laughed gleefully
when ne stubbed his toe on the rock
ing chair in the dark, and Al times be
cause he neglected to cut his nails
Fingers or toe not stately Because
he broke plates brought on 1886 dis.
putes. Because his boot hurt him
caused IL; because he wouldn I quar-
rel, l3, and because the clock ran
down, IL. Six times they quarreled
because he wouldn't go to church, and
four times each because she threw his
pipe into the stove and because she
wore red ribbons on her hat They
had three qnarrels because the pump
froze, three because the house smelled
Of onions, and three because she made
coffee without an egg in it. Twice
they quarreled because II rained, and
twice because she saw the moon over
her left shoulder.
There were also single or singular
Iuarels-quarrels over a specific sub
eet, and which, not admitting Of elias.
Iifeation, show up only in the scatter
ng eolumR. Some of the subjects over
which they quarreled once are these;
Because the black hens leg was bro.
zen; because the con eheked OF raw'
urnipj because the canary bird died;
BECAUSE Bryan was not elected presi-
lent; because he was not a Baptisti
because the house smelled of cabbage; !.
because the horse ran away; because =
iermany wouldn't give up Alsaee Lor-
ainei because a dog howled; because
Tod made Eve out of one Of Adam = F"
lbs; because alligators lay eggs; be-
ause Solomon had 1000 wives and no
nd Of eoneubines; because the Nor n
ions are not Indians; because pineap- nj
les do not grow in Canadaj because 8,
g fell in the creek; because he shot Al
be pig; because she sat down on his Al
at, and because they had no children. r
We have capitalized the last named
ause because, as a philosophical stu
p