Los Angeles herald., 1905-02-20
MILLINERY AT CHURCH
Man In Seat Behind Hats Pours Out
His Time-Honored Grievance

His Time-Honored Grievance
Editor Herald: Half a dozen times
l have struggled in the great throng at
one of the churches Of this city to
get within seeing distance, If not hear
ing distance. of one of the foremost
preachers of America. Each time
have failed in seeing him because of
the display of high priced millinery
that 1oomed up like garden of exottcs
between me and the pulpit. It was
billowy sea of laces. feathers and fiub-
dubs more splendid and gorgeous than
convention of rainbows, but I didn't
come to see hats; ] can feast my eyes
all the week in the millinery windows
along Broadway. l came to church to
feast my hungry soul on spiritual
beauties. and each time was drowned
| in a flood of female headgear.
The lady with the modest little cot
tage bonnet that cost about a. dollar
and doesn't obstruct the view is good
enough and thoughtful enough to take
it off. God bless her! One of these
gentlewomen in front of me removed
her hat today and I reached over and
gratefully shook her hand, stranger
that I was.
1t is the sister with the $S4 pano-
ramic hat like an aurora borealis that
loves to nail it to the topmost pinnacle
of her pompadour and cloud the entire
armament. I hope it is only thought
lessness on her part. No doubt she is
good, Christian woman, and she
sings most fervently Il want to do
something for Jesus" while her sky
scraper hat obscures the landscape
with it's fluffy fog. If the good Lord,
or good usher would only whisper,
Take down your roof garden, them"
she might really help a hundred grow
cling wretches behind her who gnash
their teeth when they ought to be sing
| ing psalms of thanksgiving.
A $25 bonnet can spoil the sermon Of
a $25.O0O preacher.
This morning, my sixth Intellectual
effort to see the minister. two ladies
sat side by side directly in front and
united to block the view of our entire
section of the church, for they had
well chosen their position. One had on
something that looked like an over
grown doormat that had warped in the
sun. 1t was anchored to the proprietor
at the lower edge by large ribbon ro-
settles and fared skyward like the fun
mel of an ocean liner. The other nayi-
gated a millinery craft much the size
and shape of Baldwin's airship, with a
silken rudder that swished far into the
faces of the worshipers in the rear.
Ladies with economical hats were
removing them. Going to take your
hat Off" whispered the owner of the
ARROW" mot on your life" replied
the pious owner OF the brown bro
caded doormat. Take my hat off! I'd
like to see somebody make me take
MY hat off" And she settled back on
her dignity like the star orator at the
woman's rights convention who de-
nounces mans brutality. She was the
type of emancipated woman, formi-
dable with broomstlck as an army with
gatlings She is the party who, when
1, a mere man. humbly rise to give
her my seat in the street car settles
down In 1t with the queenly grace OF
a majority stockholder i'm the trolley
system and glares at me for not fur
nishing a cushion.
These two estimabl ladies visited
amiably during the sermon. | have
no desire TO play eayesdropper on their
family secrets, but 1 learned a new