Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-02-04
M1sTAH HYAR' WAS GwINE UP AN DOWN DE LINE

woods, Aunt 'Phrony leading. followed by
children, darby with baskets, her grand
son ''Wiyum,' and lastly the dogs, frisk-
| ing and frolicking and darling away every
| now and then in pursuit of small game.
A very weary and hungry little party
| gathered about the baskets at l o'clock,
| and three little pairs of white hands were
| stained almost as brown as those of Aunt
| 'Phrony and William. But everybody was
| happy, and there was a nice pile of wal
| nuts to go back in the large bag which
| William had brought for the purpose. The
| dogs sat around and looked longingly on.
a squirrel frisked hastily across log near
| by the birds chartered in the trees high
! above and looked curously down the
| intruders, and presently g. foolish hare
went scurrying across the path, so near
| the dogs that they sat still, amazed at his
| presumption, and forbore to chase him.
Hi! there goes 'oP Hyar.'!' shouted
| Ned; I'm going to see If l can't catch
| him." But he soon gave up the hopeless
chase.
WAS that your oil Hyar',' Aunt Phrony;
| your OF Hyar' you tell US all about?'
| asked little Kit
BLESS de chil'"' said she. Nav, 'twuz
de Oh, OF Hyar' L done tor you bout. de
| gre't-gre't tyre t-sump n-ru'rr grandaddy er
Aunt 'Proney." said Janey, couldn't
| you tell US some more about the old hare
W lille we sit here and get rested"
Now de laws-a-mussy," said 'Phrony,
! 'ef we gwine 'mence on de OF tales. !
| reckon l mought well mex up my min
| ter spen' de res er de day right yer on
| dis spot" and she leaned back against a
| pine tree and closed her eyes resignedly.
| Pr esently she opened them to ask, rs
uver toll you bout de time Mistah Hyar
| try ter git him wife? 1 ism? Well, den
| dat de one gwine gin you dis trip. Hit
| happen dis-a-way: Hyar he bin flynn all
| round de kyuntry fer right long time,
frolickin' an cuttin' up, jes' no-kyoun!
| bachelor, an las he git kind er tired
| hit. an he see all turr creeturs gittin
mated an he tucken hit inter his haid dat
| 'twuz time he sottle down an git him a
| wife; he primp hisse'f up an slick his
| hya'r down vii b'ar-grease an stick raid
| hank cher in his ves'-pockit an pick him
| button-hole FUN a lady's gyarden. an
den he go co'tin' dis gal an dat gal an
| tu'rr gal. He mence wild de good-lookin'
| ores an wind up wild de ugly ones, but
| 'twan't nair one dat 'ud lissen to i'm.
| kaSe he done done so many mean tricks
| an wuz sech a hyarum-sllyarum dat dey
| wuz all 'feard ter TEX up wild I'm. an so
| dey shet de do in his face Wen he git ter
| talkin sparky. dough dar want no pusson
| cud do dat sort er talkin' mo- slicker n
| vat he cu'd. But he done gin de creeturs
| jes' III too much 'hav1shness, so 'twan't
| no use.
| HE think de marter all over an he say
| ter hissef: Dem fool gals dunno wat dey
| missin but eff dey spose I gwine gin up
| an stay single, dey fool ferse'fs dis time.
| l ain gwine squatulate wild EN- ner argyfy
ner beg no mo, but 1 gwine whul right In
| an do sumpin'.
AFTER he study vile he slap one ham
| on his knee. an he low, he do: Oats de
| ticket; OATS de ticket! l reckon dey'll fin
| oil man Hyar' ain sech fool ez he looks
ter be, after ALL
He go lopin all round. leavin' wu'd at
| evy house in de kyountry dat big meet
| in bin hit an a law passed dat ev'yb'dy
| gotter git mailed. young an OF, rich an
po, high an low. He say ter hlsse'f,
| 'Ev'yb'dy, dat mean me. too, SO dish yer
whar boun' ter git me wife
DE creeturs place der pennance on him.
| done tucken
| on de 'pinted day dey met toge'rr; de gals
| all dress up in der Sunday clo'es an de
| mems fixed up mighty sprucy, an sech a
| pickin' an choosin' you nuver see In all
yo Dawn days. De gals dey all stan up
! in line an de men go struttin' mighty big
City up an down befo' 'em. showin' of
| an maxim manners an sayin, 'Howdy.
! ladiz, howdy, howdy!' An de gals dey'
giggle an twis' an putt a finger in de corn
] ders er der moufs. an Wen man step up
| ter one NV 'em ter choose her out she'd
fetch i'm a III tap an say. 'Hysh! g'way
frum yer. man. better femme 'loner an
| den she'd giggle an smoker some mo but
l let you know she wuz sho' ter go wild him
| in de cen.
| "All dis time Hyar' wuz gwine up an
down de line bowin' an scrapin an tryin'
| ter mex hisse'f 'greeable ter evyb'dy, even
| de daddieS an de mammieS de gals,
whar wuz loolkin' on FUN tu'rr side. Oar
wuz whar he miss hit, 'kase vile he wuz
talkin ter de nanny NV mighty likely
iii gal whar he think bout choosin' 10 an
| beholst, de choosin wuz all over. an wen
Mistah Hyar' turnt roun' dar want nair'
a gal lef', an ev'y man have a wife as
Septin' him.
Den dey hit a big darnsin' an feastin',
an ev'y'b'dy wuZ happy an in NONSTOP
good humor, de gals kase dey done got
mated, an de paws an de maws kase dey
done got redd er de gals-ev' by'dy 'scusin'
Hyar'. Dey mex lots er game Nv 'in an
wen dey darnse pas. dey sings out: 'Heyo,
Mistah Hyar, huccome you amt darnse?'
Bring yo' wife, oil man. an jine in de fun!
MlStah HVAr' done
ev'yb'dy else an stay single yo'sef? Well.
dat de meanes trick you done played us
yit! tain fair! An dey smoker an run
on 'twel Hyar' wish he amt nuver year
de wu'd may.
AFTER vile dey got tired er darnsn an
tucken der new wifes an went off home
leavin' Hyar' all by hisse'f, an I tell you
he feel right lonesome. He git bad spell
er de low downs an go squanderin' roun'
thu de woods wild his years drapt an his
paws hangin' limp, studyin. how he kin git
revengemint. Las he pull hisse'f toge'rr
an he say: Come, Hyar, dis ain gwine do.
Is you done fool ev'yb'dy all desc ears an
gals? Nav. sub! knows wat gwine do
dis ve'y minnit. Eff I KANT git me a GAL
kin git me WILDLY, an some folks laks
dem de bes', anyhows. Ell you may
wildly. she got some de de foolshness
knock outen her befo' you halter TEX her
in ham
vivid dat he step out ez gaily ez you
please. He go an knock at de do ev'y
house. an wen de folks come ter de do
dey say, why. howdy Mistah Hyar', whar
you bin keepn' yo'se'f all dis timer He
er de kyount-v, an is sont unter you ez
a messenger. is sawy ter tell you dey
done hilt nu'rr Wig meetin' an mex up der
minis de worl' 81 tin too many creeters In
hit so dey pass de law dat dar mus be a
big battle an you Is all ter meet toge'rr
at de pinted time. an each man mus fall
pun de man mex him an try fer ter Kill
"Ds creeters assept dis wild submissity.