The Saint Paul globe., 1905-01-22


.I don't know whether it's because
we had too much of good thing or
hecause we had too little of the real
STUFF to get hold of, but couldn't help
feeling that after dinner speaking as
getting to be one of the lost arts. Inc
supply. anyhow, is not equal to the de-
mand. Ten years from now 1t Will De :
like letter writing, wood engraving ana
pulpit oratory-gone forever.
The prophecy disturbed me. 1t was
es If some one had averred that day
would come when terrapin and green
turtle soup and canvasback ducks
would be no more. AS well try to give
a public dinner WITHOUT salad or So
ciety banquet without souvenirs as
suggest a feast without after dinner
speaking, and while myself have not
noticed any falling away in the quality
of the intellectual food that Is served
ND to us at these rare feasts. the idea
that a man Of Gabster's intelligence
and general optimism should take SO
dark view of the outlook distressed
me greatly.
An additional cause for distress was
the fact that the public banquet with
speeches ad lib is a distinctly Ameri-
can institution. In no other country
Of the world has this sort Of function
been developed to SO high q degree OF
perfection as here, and any tendency
which is likely to diminish its luster is
to be regretted. Concerned, therefore,
as to it's future few to the spectre
phone as speedily as my legs. assisted
by a hanson cab, would permit.
The apparatus happened to be fixed
upon 1947. and considering that as good
a year as any for my investigation
turned 1t upon the New England So
ciety banquet for that year. 1t was, as
ever, a most interesting assemblage,
and the purely material portion of the
meal passed very much as they do to-
day, but the menu card bore a most
disturbing legend. Printed under the
list of numbers to be played by the Or
chestra on the back of the card were
the words:
Speeches by the New York Voxophone
Company
The Pilgrim Fathers. :. Henry Van Dyke
'-'' Mrs. Julia Ward Howe
The Pilgrim Jokers. .Chauncey M. Depew
The Pilgrim Turkey. simeon Fofo
The Sons of Pilgrims. ..... JOB e.. Hedges
The Pilgrim Wizards. .Nikola Tesla
Plymouth and Other Rocks
Henry Cabot Lodge
1 rubbed my eyes in amazement.
Certainly here was marvellous lot OF
of speakers, and none the less mar
velous because at that advanced period
they should be able to apepar and
make their speeches Surely thought,
there must be some mistake, and 1
glanced up at the guest table to see II
any one of these people were really
present. 1t is needless to say not only
that they were not present, but that
as a matter of fact there was no guest
table In place of it was simple ma
hogany stand, upon which was placed
an instrument, which close inspection
showed to be voxophone. 1t stood on
an elevationsof ten or twelve feet from
the floor and consisted chiefly Of a
great trumpet shaped megaphone, with
cylinder attachment, by which the
speeches of the evening were roared
forth from records in precisely the
same way that we of today provide
ourselves with the airy notes of prima
donnas, tenors and singers of comic
songs. In short, of speakers the future
was apparently bereft, but in great
speeches it was rich, since It had all
the post -prandial eloquence of the past
to draw on. / should add that about
the apparatus was huge cage, large
enough to accommodate it and the
operator, who worked like the magic
lantern man that we now have at chill
dren's parties. This I learned was fol-
the protection of the machine and the
operator as well as in case some toe
over-joyous banqueter should upon I'M
pulse try to pelt the speaker with
empty bottles, wine glasses or chunks
of bread.
Heavens" I murmured 'Ts thi.
what we are coming to-" and then. no
waiting to listen to the canned speech.
es of the orators of other days.
twisted the spectrophone about so tha
might visit the establishment of th
Voxophone company at its headquar
ters, No. 96753 Fifth avenue. wante,
to get at the heart of things at once.
The office of the Voxophone compan
turned out to be merely a storehouse O
oratory. Speeches, sermons, addresses
talks of all kinds were to be had ther
in great profusion, and the place wa
packed with customers. There wer
vestrymen and deacons by the scor.
running over the records in search q
their annual supply of sermons. N
longer were the rectors and pastors {
parishes compelled to burn the mid
night oil preparing their discourses fc
the morrow. The ability to preach an
the capacity to think deeply upon tn
spiritual needs of man were no longe
required of the clergy. The Voxophon
company had stepped in and relieve
them of all that by merely recordin
the best sermons of other years an
placing them in such shape that the
might be reefed off mechanically to til
satisfaction of all concerned by tt
mechanical device which the compan
controlled. Similarly had lectures an
commencement orators in our college
gone down before the voxophone sui
stitute, and, Judging from the throns
that 1 found in the office, everybod
was content with the new order
things. But 1t was the after-dinn,
branch of this oratory trust that I hs
come to look into, and was not lor
In getting line on the precise worl
tngs Of the new method. The walls