davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-06
KISSING AND MICROBES.

A writer in one of the Paris papers
complains that kissing has gone out
of fashion in France, and he attrib-
utes this to the fact that a certain med
ical man about two years ago discov-
cred that the lips were admirably
adapted for the transmission of mi
crobes and disease. Since it became
questionable to embrace, the "baise-
main," or the imprinting of kiss
upon a lady's hand, has come into
vogue, and now learned and unga1-
liant savant has arisen and denounced
that practice. To be logical, if a kiss
upon the cheek is dangerous, it is
equally so upon the hand. In sup
port of his contention that the ''baise-
main" constitutes deadly peril, the
eminent professor says Suppose
Monsieur A. has the influenza. He
is invited to dinner at the house of
Monsieur B., and on his arrival he
salutes the wife of his host by politely
kissing her hand. All the gentlemen
who come after him do the same, and
one after the other they receive from
Nine. BIS. hand the bacilli deposited
by Monsieur A. and transmit them
to the hands of other ladies. Dur
ing dinner it is only necessary for a
lady to touch her napkin with the
back of her hand, and later the ba-
cilli find their way to her mouth.
After dinner the children make their
appearance in the drawing room.
Being we'll brought up, they kiss the
ladies' hands, and if the ladies have
any bacilli left the children annex
them, and that is how an epidemic oi
influenza is propagated. 1fMonsieui
a. instead of influenza, suffers from
tuberculosis, then the guests of Nine
B. run the risk of catching consump
ton. Besides" adds this unpleasant
professor, sin spite of washing, and
in spite of antiseptics the hand is al
ways covered with microbes, for you
cannot clean it like piece of metal.
But the savant has no illusions as to
, the effects of his warning. "It il
very improbable that I shall succeed
in converting those who are slaves te
inveterate usage. But" and this il
his parting shot, lone would certain
ly be very much to blame if one ex
posed oneself and others to morta
danger. ."-Pa,is Corvesb0ndent.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-06
PRoCRAsrrHAT1oH.

I took an oath some years ago that / would
save my money,
But wasn't very anxious to begin.
/ vowed I'd cut out all the pranks used TO
think so funny.
But wasn't very anxious to begin.
/ swore that would marry, settle down and be
That 1 would put my follies meath most deter
mined ban
had it figured to Tit was righteous plan
But wasn't very anxious to begin.
obey"
But she wasn't very anxious to begin.
She said she'd let her hubby always have his
own dear way.
But she wasn't very anxious to begin.
She told him economy would be her guiding
That she would make his dollars all go rsasona
That she would never coax him for costly auto
car.
But she wasn't very anxious to begin.
Now all of US make brave resolves and make
them DER and DER,
But we aren't very anxious to begin.
We swear to check the foibles that the clergy
men deplore.
But we aren't very anxious to begin.
We vow with much impressiveness TO curb each
naughty trick,
And tell our fellow-mortals that of wrong we're
growing sick
Oh. what heaven this would be If we could
make it stick
But we aren't very anxious to begin.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-06
AN RD1TOR's STRENUOUS LIFE.

H. L. Shepherd, Duluth land at
torney, recently worte letter to D.
K. Mcpherson, editor and proprietor
of the Littletolk (Minn.) Guardian,
taking him to task for neglecting the
publication of land notices.
Littefolk is in the wilderness in the
Littlefolk Valley, where the scream
of the locomotive has never been
heard, and the moccasin telegraph is
in vogue. Mr.. Shepherd received
letter in reply that discounts anything
yet published as describing the mani
fold duties that may come to the
country editor. 1t ran thus 4:
Received your registered letter,
read your complaint. and accept same
with good grace. While 1 have ne
elected to reply to your letters I have
always got the afidavits away in am
pie time before the date of proof.
offer the following excuse for ne
glect to write answers to your letters:
"First-I am the editor, the prin-
ter, the devil and the chore boy in the
Office.
"Second-I am village recorder
and in a new town like this there is
much to be done.
Third am the town clerk of
Jameson, and that work has to be
attended to.
FOURTH am the chef forester
in the local camp of secret society
and have to devote three nights each
week to this.
Fifth have rented farm here
have plowed it myself and worked it,
and am now saving the crops. l have
two hundred bushels of potatoes, forty
three bushels of onions and lots of 9TH
er farm truck. BY the way, l have
a cabbage that weighs 81 pounds. I
have cleared an acre of land on my
claim this season.
SIXTH have built a barn I2xI6,
and have built an addition to our
home, I2x28. l have brought provi-
sions for us tolive ON this winter from
the Rainy river in canoe, twenty
miles, and l have canoed over the
same route four thousand brick and
helped to build the chimneys on our
house.
Seventh am in the hog industry
on small scale, and we have twenty
one chickens have to feed them
three times every day.
Eight have to bring in water
and cut wood and bring that in, Lord
knows how many times day.
81 have no love for labor, but you
will observe that am moderately
busy. A person saw fit to contest
my claim to a piece of land and it
has cost me good deal to defend my
rights. My wife is sick in hospital
at Winnipeg, and her way must be
paid. 1t is mighty struggle and
only time will tell the survival of the
fittest.
s'I am glad you roasted me. 1t
brings us to an understanding. You
are at liberty to roast me just as much
as you see fit, but don't forget that I
need your business. Don't forget
that am mortal and that fall into
the pitfalls along the journey of life,
and again let me remind you that you
can roast me at any time you see fit,
providing you continue to do business
with mel need the business.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-06
AFARLE IN SLANG.

A certain business slave was boning
like Turk SO that his wife could
wear three rings on every finger.
Also, he wanted to put aside some
thing for rainy day. And he put
it aside as if excepting another del
iige. He always said that he was
going to retire when he had enough.
When he was 20 years old he hoped
to amass $40, 1000. At 3ohe saw that
lie would not be able to peg along on
less than 500, 900. When he was 40
he realized that a man that didn't
have million was little better than
atramp. At.5o he wanted to make
the steeres of the Meat Trust look
like band of paupers.
At 60 he still promised himself that
he would retire. Just as soon as he
had cabbaged everything getable,
tfen he was going to lie back in an
invalid chair and read the 1900
bookshe had collected, but he had
not fonnd time to cut the leaves.
In order to get ready for his lay
off he built home in the country.
He told the architect to throw himself
on something compared with which
Windsor Castle would be a woodman's
hut. He decided on a deer park,
poultry farm and ancestral oaks, so as
to have something ancestral.
He put up shack that reminded
one of the State Capitol at Spring
field. 1t was big enough for Sol
dier's Home. The family consisted
of himself and his wife, and the archi-
tect allowed them nineteen bathrooms
apiece.
The rugs and tapestries cost $I.75
a thread. Every painting was fresh
from the salon and had the cost-mark
attached to show that it was good
goods.
When the place was completed he
handed the business over to the junior
partners and went out to rest. He
turned on all the fountains and order
ed the birds to strike up. The dream
of his life had come true. He had no
cares, no responsibilities. All he had
to do was to sit there and watch the
grass grow.
He enjoyed it for nearly twenty-five
minutes, and then he began to fdget,
so he went and sat in the Marie An
toinette room for while and count
ed the stripes in the tresco. After
ward he took turn about the grounds
and came back and wondered if every
thing was running along all right at
the office.
"Gee, but this is tame," said the
retired hustler. II think I'd better
take a little rua into town to be sure
that the under-strappers are not max
ing botch of it."
At II o'clock he was back at the
old stand, lowering about like an un-
easy spirit. He looked over the cor
respondence and dictated a few letters
and got the noise in his ears and he
began to feel good again.
His associates told him to clear out
and play with the deer and the prize
chickens, ~ have been associating
with them all morning." was the re-
ply. "They did not seem disposed
to close any contracts, so their society
palled on me. Besides, I have been
looking around and see that you can't
get along without me. Furthermore,
it is all tommy-rot for a man 6S and
just entering the prime of life to talk
of retiring"
When the Reaper finally came the
old gentleman was found in the tread
mill, but he was still counting on
making use of the country place next
year or possibly the year after.
Mo,al. One can not rest except
after steady practice.-GeO,ge Ade.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-06

"How DID the phrase nip and
tuck over come into use, and what
does it mean anyhow ?"
"The most natural suppositon is
that it was started by some man with
a thirst. Whenever he wanted nip
he went and tucked it."
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-06

DEAR" said the melancholy wife,
'if you die first you will wait for me
there on that far shore, won't you? p
ct guess so" replied the husband
wearily. "I've always had to wait
for you everywhere I CO."
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-06

A wELL-KNowN Chicago clergy
man, who is a widower and the fa-
ther of two charming grown daugh-
tiers, is also something of wag.
During his vacation last summer he
sent the following telegram to his
daughters
"Havejust married widow with
six children. Will be home tomor-
row."
The next day he arrived alone, and
found his daughters in tears.
"W-where is the w-widow ?" they
sobbed in unison.
"Oh," he replied, a merry twinkle
in his eye. II married her to another
man."
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-06

FIRST BoARDER-Don't you al
ways have stuffy feeling in this
house?
Second Boarder-Not when we are
in the dining-room.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-06
COMPLETED PROVERBS.

"Whatever man has done man can
do" better.
"There's many a slip 'twixt" the
cradle and the grave.
Look before you leap" out of the
frying pan into the fire.
Until a man finds wife he is on
ly half ;" thereafter he is less.
Honesty is exact to penny" !"
but not always to larger amounts.
GA fool and his money are soon
parted when the fool has friends.
"The best things are not bought
and :" they are stolen and kept.
"The second blow makes the fray"
but not if the first is we'll placed.
"Pity is akin to love-" kinship
does not always signify friendship.
Everything comes to the man who
waits" except that for which he
waits.
Opportunity knocks once at every
mans door," but often makes sure
the man is out before knocking.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-06

MRS. DooL1N asked her husband
when people had their tin wedding.
Mr.. D. replied, when they have
been married tin years Of course.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-06

DID you find husband during
your stay at the winter resort ?"
Eyes, plenty of 'em. The trouble
was that there were no single men" !"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-06

"DID you get much pleasure out
of your shore cottage" "a great
deal-I Irented it and stayed at home"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-06
FAVORABLE TO LONGEVITY.

Most writers, ancient and modern,
agree on the following circumstances
as favorable to longevity:
1. To be born of healthy, long-lived
parents.
2. To live in the temperate zone.
4. To live in the country and much
in the open air.
d. To be accustomed to daily labor.
S. To be temperate in eating and
drinking.
To which may be added these ten
commandments of hygiene from a
French medical review:
1. Rise early, retire early, fill your
day with work.
2. Water and bread maintain life,
pure air and sunshine are necessary
to life.
4. Cleanliness prevents rust the
best-cared-for machine lasts the long,
est.
4. Practice frugality and sobriety.
s. Enough sleep repairs waste and
strengthens too much softens and
enfeebles.
s. To be sensibly dressed, with free
dom of movement and sufficient
warmth.
=. A clean and cheerful housemakes
a happy home.
8. The mind is refreshed and in
vigorated by distractions and amuse-
ments, but abuse Of them leads to
dissipation, and dissipation to vice.
o. Cheerfulness makes love OF life,
and love Of life is half Of health.
Sadness and Encouragement hasten
old age.
10. Do you gain your living by
your intellect? Then do not allow
your arms and legs to grow stiff. Do
you earn your bread by your pick
axe? Do not forget to cultivate your
mind.
STRANGER Cat the door)-I am
trying to find lady whose married
name have forgotten, but l know
she lives in this neighborhood. She
is a woman easily described, and per-
haps you know her-a singularly
beautiful creature with pink and
white complexion; seashell ears, love-
" eyes, and hair such as a goddess
might envy.
Scientifically, sir; l don't
know
Voice (from head of stairs)-Jane,
tell the gentleman I'll be down in
minute.
MEEKs My wife called me up on
the phone six times today.
Weeks-What for9
The last five times were for the
purpose of calling me down because 1
didn't answer the first time she called
me up.
"WHEN you spoke to papa did you
tell him you had five hundred dollars
in the bank?"
eyes, darling
"And what did he say?"
'He borrowed it II
. WHERE there's a will there's a
lawsuit.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-06

WHERE there's will there's a
lawsuit.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1905-04-15

another town (entirely non-Catholic)
l went to the hotel and learned that
the minister would oppose all efforts
to rent me hall Immediately went
to see him and told him that sermon
on intidelity would do his people d
great deal of good.
Yes he said, many men in this
town are imbued with Ingersollism.'
HE helped me to get the hall, and
for three nights l preached to a large
audience, of course the first night only
on infidelity. The second night il
was Purgatory, and while was
preaching the minister arose to make
few remarks. l told him to wait
until would be through, but he keps
standing and from the gallery few
boys Of his own congregation shouted,
SIT down. told these boys that they
should he ashamed of using such
language, and that l would put them
out If they would not be quiet. There
upon the minister thanked me and sat
down"
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1905-04-15
DULUTH NEWS.

Division No. 1, A. o. H., will meet
tomorrow afternoon at the Cathedral
hall. This will be an important meet
ing and full attendance is desired.
A number of committees will report
on matters of interest to the order.
The Cathedral choir is preparing an
excellent program of music for Easter
Sunday.
A social will be given on Thursday
evening, April ~, at the Cathedral hall
by the members of the League of the
Sacred Heart.
Div. No. 1, L. A., A. o. H., will meet
next Wednesday evening in the Cathe-
dral hall. The division is constantly
adding to its membership and will
soon be one of the largest divisions
in the state.
William Doherty of 324 North Fifty
third avenue west died Monday morn
ing at his residence of complication
of heart and kidney diseases. Mr..
Doherty was about 60 years Of age
and member of the Longshoremen's
union. He was one of the best known
longshoremen at the Head of the
Lakes and was respected as a citizen
of West Duluth, where he has long re-
sided. He leaves a wife, two daugh.
tiers and two sons.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1905-04-15
PROBATE NOTCH.
STATE OF MINNESOTA, COUNTY,

STATE OF MINNESOTA, COUMN or
Hennepin. Probate Court.
In the Matter of the Estate Of Ellen Ring,
Deceased.
Letters of administration on the Estate
of Ellen Ring, deceased, late Of the County
of Hennepin and State of Minnesota, being
granted to Maurice Ring, Of Pine County,
Minnesota,
And it appearing upon proper proof by
the affidavit of the said Maurice Ring,
made and filed herein that there are no
debts against the Estate of the said Ellen
Ring, deceased,
1t is Ordered, That three menths be and
the same is hereby allowed from and after
the date of this order, in which all persons
having claims or demands against tie said
deceased are required to file the same in
the Probate Court Of said county, for ex-
animation and allowance, or be forever
barred.
1t is Further Ordered, That the first Mon
day in August, 1905, at ten o'clock a. M.
at general term Of said Probate Court, to
be held at the Court House in the City Of
Minneapolis, in said county, be and the
same Is hereby appointed as the time and
place when and where the said Probate
Court will examine and adjust said claims
and demands.
And it is Further Ordered, That notice
Of such hearing be given to all creditors
and persons interested in said estate by
each week for three successive weeks in the
Irish Standard, a newspaper printed and
published in said county.
Dated at Minneapolis, this 9th day Of
April, 1905.
By the Court,
F. C. HARVEY,
Judge Of Probate
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1905-04-15
PROBATE NOTICE,
STATE OF MINNESOTA, COUNTY
Hannnnin Drohnfo Curt

STATE OF MINNESOTA, COUNTY OF
Hennepin. Probate Court.
In the Matter Of the Estate of Catherine
Coyne. known also as Kate Coyn, De-
Letters testamentary on the Estate Of
Catherine Coyne, deceased, late of the
County Of Hennepin and State of Mime
, sofa, being granted to Michael ]. Brahney,
Of said County and State,
1t is Ordered, That six months be and the
| same is hereby allowed from and after the
date of this order, in which all persons
having claims or demands against the said
deceased are required to file the same, in
the Probate Court Of said County, for ex-
animation and allowance, or be forever
barred.
1t is Further Ordered, That the first Mon.
day In October, 1905, at 10 o'clock a. M,
at general term Of said Probate Court, to
be held at the Court House In tho City Of
Minneapolis, in said county, be and the
same iB hereby appointed AZ the time, ana
place when and where the said Probate
Court will examine and adjust said claims
and demands.
And it IL Further Ordered, That notice
Of such hearing be given to all creditors
forthwith publishing this order once In
each week for three successive weeks in the
irish STANDARD, newspaper printed and
published in said county.
Dated at Minneapolis, this 3Oth day Of
March, 1905.
By the Court,
r. c. HARVEY,
Judge Of Probate.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1905-04-15
SOUTH DAKOTA.

Died-The remains of Mr. Edward
Byrne, who was accidently killed by a
gun-shot wound discharged by himself
on the End inst. at his home at Ken
drick, Idaho, arrived at Elkton on the
early morning train of Monday last
over the G. & N. w. road, and were
laid to rest in the Holy Cross ceme-
terry at that place. There was requiem
high mass celebrated by the Rev.
Father Sheehan at the Church of Our
Lady of Good Counsel. Deceased was
born at Faribault, Mimi, "a years
ago, and for many years had made his
home with his parents at Volga. S. D.
Three years ago Mr. Byrna moved to
Idaho with his father. Ills funeral
was largely attended. The following
acted as pall-bearers: Doctor Seaman,
| Arthur p Allen, Professor Dalthrop,
Will Corcoran, J. M. Hymes, all of
Volga, and Doctor Hopkins of Ell1ton.
The corner stone of fine new
church was solemnly laid at Beresford
on Sunday last by the Right Rev.
Mgr Flynn, v. G., of Madison, assisted
by the PASTOR Rev. J. ]. O'Neill,
| Rev. NJ Traynor of Emmett, Rev. E.
Egan. Wakonda, and Father Dooley of
Centerville. The new church will be
a handsome structure and will cost
| about $4,000, nearly all of which has
been already collected.
The Catholics of Vermillion are agi-
| tating the building of a new church
to cost about $4,000. The present
edifice which was erected some years
since has proved to be entirely too
| small. Work will probably commence
this summer on the new structure.
| Died.-Mr. Ignatius Janisch, aged
y years, and an old time resident of
this state, died of cancer of the stom.
ach at Montrose on Monday night of
last week. Deceased had been in very
poor health for several years SO that
when the end came it was not unex-
pected A wife and family of sons
and daughters are left to mourn his
death. Funeral services were held at
st. Patricks church Thursday fore
noon. Father McCawley officiating.
The Standard joins the many friends
in extending sympathy to the sorrow
ing widow and children of the de-
ceased.
Died.-Mr. Thomas Quinn, who had
made his home for the past twenty
years at Vermillion where he was en-
! gagged in the dray business, was found
! dead in his barn on Sunday last. He
carried over $4,000 life insurance.
The new church of St. Thomas at
Madison, Mgr. T. A. Flynn, V. G.,
pastor, will be consecrated on May 81.
The ceremony will be performed by
Right Rev. Bishop O'Gorman. About
fifty priests are expected to attend.
This church cost $4,000 and is the
finest in the Sioux Falls diocese
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1905-04-15

vote was light and in only the First,
Second and Sixth wards was any inter-
est in the election displayed James
kennedy won in his fight in the Sec
ond ward, and Matson was retired
from the city council Cummings
majority was a big surprise. His
election was conceded long be-
fore the polls had closed in
the afternoon, but it was expected
that the vote would be closer. 1t was
a victory for Kennedy, who devoted
! his entire time and attention to the
contest in the Second Ward. Schruth's
man in the First ward won Also Ora
hams majority over Tenneson, the re-
form candidate. was not as great as
Cummings over Matson, but was
about what was expected. Mcclellan
was an easy winner in the Sixth Ward.
Out of total of 292 votes he received
It's. 1t was In the Fourth Ward where
the landslide occurred. Clapp received
34S votes while Hogan had to his
credit when the polls closed an even
100.
Hudson, Wis-The body of Harry
O'Brien, who disappeared after leav-
ing Hudson, Wis, Dec. 26, 1904, has
been found in Lake St. Croix, near
the site of the old Fall & Mccoy mill
at Lakeland, and. the mystery of his
disappearance has been cleared up.
O'Brien, who was about "a years of
age, was the son of Michael O'Brien,
formerly of Lakeland, now residing at
South Saltwater, and had been spend
ing the day in Hudson. A heavy storm
came up toward evening, but O'Brien
started for home and it is supposed
that in crossing the lake, he became
bewildered and stepped into an air
hole. Coroner Waiter was called, but
decided that an inquest was unneces-
sary. The remains were taken to
Hudson for burial.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1905-04-15
In "Auid Lang Syne."

On the occasion of his SEVENTEEN
birthday, which occurred on March
lat, DR.. Cronin, the veteran editor Of
the Buffalo Catholic Union and Times,
is receiving from his admiring con-
temporaries many well-deserved COM
pliments on his long literary career
in defense of Catholic truth and Catho-
lie interests. The Pittsburg Catholic
says of him:
cage does not lessen the brilliancy
and solidity of his learned pen, nor
chill the poetic sentiment of his heart
DR.. Cronin has done grand work for
God and the country in giving the best
years of his life to the spread and
defense Of Catholic truth and principle
in the columns of the Catholic press,
and, today, he is as young and more
mature in brains and intellect than