The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-04-14

would be shot down OF de spot. I hain't
gwine to ask de brudder for any ex-
plau4 shuns. All lie gWine to say to
him is dat if he don't pay me de dol
lar he owes me befo' Saturday night I'll
hunt him down and make him wish dat
de assimuIashun of de calamity la
nebber obertooken de imperiator.
while I was ava from home de Cd
der day Brudder Shindig Watkins call
ed at my cabin. He was all logged out
and sWellin' around, and he wanted to
borry my snow shovel. Instead of say
in so in so many words he fiOurisheS a
handkerchief perfumed wild ViOletS I'M
der his nose and inquiries of my old Wo-
mar if de eIiminashun could be induced
to tr-ansmogrify de abominashun. Mrs.
Gardner has had trubble wild her heart
yer since she fell off de roof of de
house, Is years ago. and when she smelt
dem violets and heard dem words her
knees weakened under her and she had
to sit down and gasp for breath. While
she was gaspin' Brudder Watkins got
away. I come home and found her so
weak dat I had to git supper n wash
de dishes,
q see Brudder Watkins sittin' in his
usual place, wild grease on his ha'r n
his chist all swelled out, and I hain't
gwine to rub it in on him. I'm only
Sayin' dat If he ever comes to my house
and skeers my old woman agin wild mis-
big words I'll strike his predatory trail
and nebber leave it till his individious
carcass am hangin' extended to de sal
lacious limb Of a tree. 1t hain't right
to jump at a woman sebenty vars old
way@speshually an old wild
heart trubble. I don't reckon she would
be afeared of a man wild an ak or a
crowbar. but dem big words am gwine
to knock out the bravest woman in de
land.
'tOne night a few weeks ago a few of US
old men got together to discuss de pOlt-
zeal situashun and see If it was possible
m oft a list nf siCh senators as am IN de
pay of railroads and trusts. We was quiet
and peaceful and modest, and nobody was
der J. Jefferson Scott. OATS him sittin
ober by de stove wild a lowered neckt4e
on. He had a cant in one hand and a
par of gloves in de odder, ana oar was
a. plug hat on his head and patent leather
shoes on his hoOfs. Nobody had invited
him, but he had heard of de meetin' and
While We was lookin' at him ne off wild
his overcoat and hat and planted hlsselr
make a speech. DaI speech was IuI q
hittin' out wild boat lands it was full Of
jumpin' up and down; it was full Of big
words. Befo' de Lawd, but l haven't rs
tened to SIGH big words since de day /
sOt down on a white mans hat in a street
kyar. He got in abstemous, c~ontraven-
shun, affiliate, aristoeracy, dissipashun,
polemic, economic, reprehenSlble, agrees
teal, t~riaugulated and 1 can't begin to
tell YOU how many odder big words, and
for 10 minutes de rest of US sot OAR and
wondered when de roof of de house was
"'rWhen Brudder ]. Jefferson got frew
and walked out none OF US could speak
for five minits. When he went out he told
everybody dat he had saved de kentry by
a mighty clus squeak, and I guess he had.
He's sittin' ober dar VII his head bowed
down and lookin' ashamed Of hisseif, but
I hain't gwine to make it wuss.
Il could go on and menshun a dozen
odder members Of his club who am on de
swell and maxim fules of deirselves cherry
day in de week, but what's de use? Oar
hain't only one cure for de disease. and
lie got too old to kick hard huff to do
any good. If dey want to asphyxiate DER
renovashuns in groceries an butcher