davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1905-01-26
A GIANT TREE.

Down in Pulaski county, He
near Mound City, between Padu.
cab and Cairo, there is cotton
wood tree that comes up 10 the
average tee Of California On he
river shore, near the Peter Bur
CESS property; near America is a
tree in small gorge that meas
ures 30 feet in circumference aud
l3 feet in diameter The tree can
hardly be seen from the road and
there are few people who have
seen it. Think OF IT, Pulaski be.
ing on a level Sith California in
tree raising.
A tree this size, if followed out
would make "A comfortable dwell
ing for bachelor. Citizens who
are proud OF their county are ma
king much over this tree. IL should
be "A delightful time indeed spent
under this delightful tree some
pleasant sunsliny day, when Ma
turs holds high revel and gentle
breeze would rustic through its
green branches. An ideal place
for party to spend a day in the
woods, and gather under the great
tree 10 partake OF their baskete Of
luncheon.-Psduoah Sun.
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1905-01-26
A POSITIVE GUARANTEE
Signed by Woods q orms Who Agree
To Return Your Money II Dr.
Csristsd's German Liver
Powder Fails 10 Cure
GUARANTEE

hereby agree TO refund the money
paid for DR.. Carlstedt's German Liver
Powder on the return Of the empty bot
ties, the purchaser stating IL failed 10
relieve and cure him Of any OF the dis
eases for which it is recommended. This
guarantee covers the use OF 81 bottle
or four 25c bottles or two months treat
ment.
Signed Woods a Orme,
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1905-01-26
For SALE

Best of wheat and farm lands IN Raw w
Inns county, Kansas, at from 50 to ShS9O
ner acre. No commission charged 10
purchaser. Correspondence solicited
III. ID. HUGHEs,
Mcdonald, Kansas
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1905-01-26
Sick HOGS Wshte

Will buy sick hogs, Will
and treat on the i1sarance
worms. 1t is a success,
particulars, prices free
DR., ID. &. s.
Ma
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1905-01-26
Wonderful n.

Is displayed by many a
pains of accidental cu
bruises, burns, seal be. ST
joints. But there is
Bucklen's Arnics Saly'
pain and cure tad ~,
best salve on earth ~
at Woods & orBc'l
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1905-01-26
Speedy.

A salve that heals
DeWitt's Witch h
remedy effects such U
draws out inflamatiOnN
and heals all cuts, burr
A sure cure for piles an
DeWitt's is the only
Hazel Salve. Beware OIL
they are dangerous. SOY
Il Orme.
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

the arms of that ere f1ymill caught
him right on the ear. He thought twas
burglars sure, then, and hollers. Muir
derlr and "Helpi" 'nuff to wake the
dead An every time he'd sit up tina.
fiymill would knock him down again.
He was purity nigh used UP when Sid
die and the old man got to him.
So lie was more down on Siddie than
ten thousand Of bricks and made his
will over again, leayi1' everythin to
Maria and me and back he comes to
live with US. This time We thought
we had him for keeps, cause he was
so dead set agin Siddie and her tribe
that the best name he could get for
them was "murderers," and if you
mentioned inventions he would rave for
hours at time.
Well, he come along and staid at our
house. A couple of years went by and
he was still with US. Maria and me
began to put down a list of things we
was goin' to buy when the property
was ourn. New melodeon for tho. par
lor, new whatnot, new cover for the
sittin'-room sofy and any quantity of
things. And the old man was gittin'
older, crankier and deefer every day.
Fust of all, we was careful Of him as
if he wSS- made of glass; run round.
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

was millions of 'em round him every
night, and that he couldn't get wink
of sleep.
So Siddie's old man went to work
and invented a machine for drivin'
away the flies. He argued that if you
were campin' out, or fishin or any
thing where there was lots of flies, that
they'd bite like everythin' when it was
calm, but if a breeze came up they
would all go off. So he rigged up
contrivance to hang over Uncle Ephs
bed. Twas kind of windmill thing
like them fans they have in the city
eatin' houses. 1t hung right over
Uncle Eph's piller and could be raised
or lowered and pulled by a string to
start it goin'. There was a windmill
on the roof that was connected with it
and give it the power.
Well, the very fust night Uncle Eph
tried it he laid down. lowered it close
to his face and hawled the rope that
set her a buzzin' and went to sleep.
Middle of the night he wakes up and
heard a noise and thought twas thieves
come to torture him for his money So
he sets UP in bed and-whack. one OF
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

writin' of the address, but we couldn't
find it; he'd burnt it up, most likely.
We had fine dinner, roast beef and
plum puddin' and heaven knows what,
but nothin' suited Uncle Eph. He
growled at the vittles and said this
was burnt and that was raw, till got
madder'n a young heifer. Fin'lly Ma
ria went out and fetched the birthday
cake. Twas a noble old cake 1 tell
yer; there was Uncle Ephum on it,
done in red peppermint lozenges;
Maria made the letters SO big there
wasn't room for the IN" on the end.
Here's a big slice for you, Uncle"
howled, and then I says, in my usual
voice, Looks as IL 1t would poison
yer, and 1 hope to goodness it WILL"
Well, he just grinned and took the
slice and bergan ter eat it and / set
down and pulled my mustache down
so as he wouldn't see my lips move
and commented. I sartinly did give
it ter him hot and heavy. Maria had
ter cough half a dozen times ter keep
from larfin' out. See i'm eat" I'd
say. We've got him this time Every
mouthfuA is just as good as deed to
two acres of that hop field. Have
some more? That's right. Well kill
the def old reptile this time. I can
see the melodeon in the parlor. Order
the undertaken, Maria; this is the best
days work you ever donei'
When he had finished three whoppin'
slices 1 says: Better hev little more,
you old alligator, we want to kill yer
quick; don't want you hangin' along"
Then he gifts up kinder slow and de-
liberate, lays down his knife and fork
and says:
NO. he says" the old alligator won't
have any more; he's had enough-of
cake and other things. But I wouldn't
order the melodeon this afternoon IL I
was you, and I wouldn't rely on pickin'
them hops this season." And out of the
room he walks, Ieavin' me and Maria
lookin' like a couple of wax men.
He can hearr' says she after a
spell.
Hes heard every word we've said,"
says 1. Tnep we both looked at each
other and never said boo" for as long
as five minutes. Then we heard Uncle
Eph come stampin' down stairs. He
had his old plug hat on and his cane
in his hand. and he walked out of the
gate and down the road.
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

you must foller him." says Maria.
I grabbed my hat and ran arter him.
but he got to town first and went into
the telegraph office. When he came out
I went in and tried to find out who he
telegraphed to, but he had left word
with the clerk to tell no one, so I got
no satisfaction. Maria was fairly danc-
in when got home.
Hes upstairs in his room," she says,
with the door locked and he's throw
in things around like all possessed.
He's been def for years and years and
how. how, how can he hear now?"
'T don't know" says /, "but I do
know our goose is cooked If we don't
make it up with him somehow"
So we went upstairs and pleaded and
hollered through the keyhole for as
much as an hour; finally give Maria
q nudge and we both broke out cryin'
and sobbin' like a couple of waterin'
carts, but all the satisfaction we got
was him a tellin' us not to strain our
lungs, as he could hear us if we didn't
cry so much like an engine whistle.
At four o'clock somebody drives up
to the gate; twas Siddie's old man in
his wagon. Uncle Eph comes hoppin'
right downstairs with his bag filled up.
"Oh. Uncle dear" sobs Maria. where
be you goin'?"
'The deef old reptile" says he, 'is
goin' ter find another burrow," and he
climbs into the wagon.
This is your doins," says I, shakin'
my fist at Siddie's old man.
"Yes," says he. grinning. I'm glad
to say it's. Here's something you may
be interested in And he throwed me
a piece Of paper.
Twas a printed circular and it said.
1.-THE deaf hear! Budd's Chats Sid
dies old mans name) Marvellous
Out-of sight Ear Drums. for restoring
the hearing. Ordinary conversation
easily understood. Entirely invisible
and so on and so on.
"Them's my latest invention" says
Siddies old man. II sent Uncle Eph
a pair for a birthday present He's
been wearin' 'em ever since mornin'.
You can hear ordinary conversation
with them, can't yer, Uncle?"
"Yes," said the old man. "and extra
ordinary conversation. too." Then they
drove off, and 1 went in and kicked
the remains of that birthday cake from
the kitchen to the parlor and back
again.
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

II we was sayin' somethin' mighty per-
lite. Course. when he'd ask what we
was talkin' bout we'd holler that twas
a fine day, er like O. that. Yer know
how tbs when person is kinder hard
o. hearin'.
Got so it was kind o. joke. as yer
might say; I'd do it at the table just
for fun. Have some beans, yer old
image?" I'd ask him, the fust part loud
enough to take the roof off and the rest
in an ordinary tone of voice. And then
Maria'd pucker up her face to keep
from larfin'.
For them two years he never men
toned Siddie's folks, except to run 'em
down, but all at once he began to
change his tune. Begun to wonder how
they was gettin' along and said he
would like to see 'em, till Maria and me
begun to git real worried.
His seventy eighth birthday was
comm and we thought 'twould please
him If we made a kind O. celebration of
It, We talked it over some, and Maria
said she'd git up a special good dinner
and haye whoppin' birthday cake. 1
told her twas foolishness, but she was
set on it and said he was old and child
ish ard would be tickled to death, so I
let her go ahead.
Wen, the morning o. his birthday I
hitched up and drove to town to buy
some hay for the cattle, COS we'd run
out. Well. when / got home I found
Maria In an orful stew.
Seems she'd gone over ter the Nick
erson's ter borrow some sugar and
she and Pashy Nickerson got talkin'
about the minister's wife; how ex-
travagant Nathaniel Nixon was since
he got married, and one thing er an
other, till twas IL o'clock fore she
started home. On the way she met
Lysander Holmes, who drives the mail
cart, and he says, Left a package at
your house; twas for yer Uncle Eph."
Well. you can imagine how Gurus
Maria was to find out what was in
that package. She spected twas some
Of Siddie's doin's right off; but would
you believe 1t. Uncle Eph wouldn't tell
her. He was in one of his stubborn
fits and said 'twan't nawthin' any,
how. and II twas twan't anybody's
business but his; and he wouldn't tell
me. either, when / got home. Me and
Maria hunted for the paper that was
on the package, SOS we could see the
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15
ANNOUNCEMENT.

For the writers
by offering consideration
writers to the front the Sunday Call weekly fiction
story submitted There section of America fertile in
fiction
material hand than California and West Therefore the Sum
Call
writer Stories of
be given the preference strong and especially
consideration
Each story will be Judged its literary merit Type
written
alton from the editor but do hesitate send story in hand
writing If afford typewriter.
Fifty dollars cash for of less than words and
word The highest leading
tor the
word often
With of his
compelled
paid period of seldom
The
paid immediately publication
Sunday following the iudpng of manuscripts
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

arter him, and all was smiles sweeter'n
butter, no matter how he fused and
fumed. But arter awhile-yer know
how it is when the newness of a thing
wears off--we got more used ter him,
and weren't quite so careful of our
manners. Yer see, he bein' so deef,
twas a great temptation ter cheek i'm
under our breaths when he was partic-
ular angry. Twas kind of a relief to
our own feelin's ter tell i'm what we
thought of i'm. smilin all the tina a.
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

RULES.
No is
words length The length of the be marked in
plain figures.
the selection
writer viii have the standing the popular author
As the objects
OF Western
IT publication
Stories accepted be a selected
win be published
This fiction be indefinitely.
An but
Always inclose No manuscripts win
unless accompanied by
Write and add
last page SUNDAY EDITOR CALI.
SAN FRANCISCO
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

n r. OWENS slowly drew a fat
II green pod from the basket
beside him, split it down the
Il middle with his thumb and
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1905-07-28

Saturday, Aug. 5, promises to be a
great day at Medina 1t will be the oc-
casion of the Masons' big barbecue, and
it is expected hundreds will be present
On that day. Senator e. w. Cormack
is expected to be the principal orator
of the day.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1905-07-28

W. J. Hurlburt, Land and Industrial
Agent of the Southern Railway, with
headquarters at Chattanooga, has been
ordered to Washington, and will in
future have his Office there as assistant
to M. V. Richards, Land and Industrial
Agent of the system.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1905-07-28
Child Saves a Train.

Altoona, Pa.-Little Wallace Moore,
aged eight, barefooted and ragged, the
son of a farmer living near Osceola,
Is miles southeast of here, with rare
presence of mind for one Of his years
saved a passenger train on the Tyrone
division of the Pennsylvania railroad
from certain disaster and probably
prevented injury, if not death, to 12S
passengers.
The lad, while playing about the
railroad tracks which run near his
home, noticed that a switch leading to
a spur, at the end of which was an
embankment, had been opened
Fastening to clear stretch of road
he stationed himself in the middle OF
the tracks and breathlessly awaited the
approach of the train. He swung his
arms. and grabbing his hat, waved IL
madly. Engineer Franks became
alarmed when the boy showed no signs
of leaving the track, and quickly ap-
plying the emergency brakes stopped
the train within a few feet of where
the boy was standing.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1905-07-28

act of fastening her veil, Miss Sim
mons received the telegram, which
read:
Have gone away. VIII never see
you again."
Miss Simmons, it is said, saw Roser
several days before the date set for the
wedding, at which time all of the de-
tails were arranged. She sent invita-
tons to $50 friends, and they were
assembling when the telegram arrived
at the expected brides home.
She burst into tears, but later decid-
ed not to let anything interfere with
the pleasure of her guests. She read
the telegram to them, and then or
dered the dancing to begin. Roser was
apparently soon forgotten, except by
two of Miss Simmons brothers, who
are determined to interview him.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1905-07-28
Old Couple Divorced After Living To-
gether for Thirty-Seven Years.
HAD NOT SPOKEN SFNCE'84
Uncle Ham" and Aunt "Julia'' Grubbs Re.
fused to Settle Their Long Standing Diff
ferences and Courts Separate Them
at the Old Ladys Request-The
Parents of Six Children

Lawrenceburg Ind.-One of the odd
est divorce cases ever tried in this coun-
try was recently decided by Judge
George e. Downey in this county.
The principals in this strange case
were aged 65 and 60 years, respectively,
the man being the senior. The couple
were married 81 years ago, but though
they had lived together constantly all
of that time, and had raised family of
six children, they had not spoken to
each other for 81 years.
Such is the peculiar ending of the
romance of Uncle Ham and Aunt Julia
-Grubbs.
The neighbors who hoped the breach
of Il years would be healed by time are
more than disappointed. Aunt Julia
sGrubbs has secured her divorce from her
husband, Uncle Hamilton Grubbs, and
$4,000 alimony, and has left forever the
family home in which she lived for 81
years. They quarreled in 1884; from
that day to this they have never ex-
changed a word, though they have oc-
cupied the same house and have eaten
three times day at the same table.
Now it is too late to make up.
The Romance
Forty years ago everybody In Moore's
Hill district knew that Ham Grubbs
was sweet on Julie" Harris. He was a
likely young farmer then and good
catch, and Julia Harris was the prettiest
girl in the county. Ham" courted
Julie" and he distanced all the other
young fellows in the district and mar
ried the girl on May 27, 1868.
1t was jolly wedding and the coun-
try folks came from miles around to help
the happy pair to celebrate. Rev. Ben
jamn Plummer, one of the old-time
clergymen of the Methodist Episcopal
church in southeastern Indiana, tied the
knot and wished the young couple
happiness, long life and prosperity.
They have had the long life and prosper
ity all right, but hardly the happiness,
though six children have blessed the
union and never a death has lessened
the home circle.
More than their share Of the world 8
goods came their way "Uncle Ham, -
as he came to be known throughout
Miller township, was hard worker and
mighty smart farmer. Gradually he
increased his holdings until he was the
owner of 10 of the best acres in all the
township. He had the finest house, the
most head of stock, the best up-to-date
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1905-07-28

table with their six children, but never
a word was spoken between them. The
father laDored unceasing'y and well.
making his farm better and better and
gradually adding to his wealth until
to-day he owns the farm all free and
clear and has SIS 1000 cash in the bank.
Meanwhile the mother was doing her
share of the work. She made the
children's clothes, saw that they went
to school, kept the house as spotless as
hard work and plenty of soap and wa
ter could do it, made the beds, cooked
the meals and made the butter and
cheese. Not thing that the most
loving of wives could do to add to her
husbands worldly goods was left un-
done.
But never word did they speak.
Elias Intervention Unavailing.
One by one the children grew up, till
only little Ella was left. Two went to
Kansas, two to Illinois, and one to
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1905-07-28

them over. Uncle Ham came cut of
the house and agreed with the peddler
that they were the finest geese in all In
diana.
What dye want for them?' asked
the peddler.
Uncle Ham" named his price, good
round figure, that was more than the
market value of the geese and enough
to add pretty penny to the bank ac-
count that was growing most encourag-
ingly year after year.
The bargain was closed just as Mrs.
Grubbs appeared in the farmhouse door.
Say, what's that man want with my
geese, Ham," she called.
He's buyin' 'emi' shouted back her
husband. ITS all right, mother; he's
paying all they're worth"
Now don't you do no such a thing,
Ham Grubbs," cried Mrs. Grubbs, hur-
rying down to the shade of the tree I'M
der which Uncle Ham" and the peddler
were driving their bargain. 1--WE been
a-savin' those geese for their down.
I'm a-goin' to make feather beds out
of it."
Now see here, julie, eXpostulated her
husband, this man is paying a good
stiff sum for these here geese, and we
can raise more of them. Besides, |
never slept under a feather bed and |
never will
well, Ham Grubbs," retorted his
wife, holly, 81 have and I'm a-goin' to
do it again. l don't care what you dot"
Ham" Grubbs wanted the addition
to his bank account; his wife wanted the
feather beds. One hasty word led to
another and it ended by Mrs. Grubbs
founcing back to the farmhouse and
the peddler carrying off the geese, for
which he paid the farmers price
When Ham Grubbs got back to the
house he found his wife still indignant.
There were more words, and then "Uncle
Ham" said something which never
should have been said.
Vow Never to Speak Again.
'I'll never speak to you again." de-
clared Mrs. Grubbs.
"All right" retorted her husband
"do as you like"
All the children heard the quarrel.
Those old enough TO understand began
to cry. Husband and wife realized that
their sudden determination never to
speak again might result in broken
| home and distress to the six little ones.
Don't worry about them, Ham
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1905-07-28
WOOED HIS OWN DAUGHTER
Just Before Wedding Was to Take
Place Swiss Discovered Her
Identity.

Geneva. Switzerland.-A remarkable
love tragedy has come to light in the viii
lage of Appenzell, which for unique fea-
lures is hard to duplicate.
Nearly 20 years ago young Swiss
commercial traveller named Mueller de-
serted his wife and infant daughter and
emigrated to Mexico, where he succeed
ed in amassing considerable fortune.
His wife died, and the little girl was
adopted by farmer named Schloss.
The child assumed his name and was
generally regarded in the district as the
farmers own daughter.
A year ago her father who called him
self Ilfelder after leaving his native
country, sold out his business in Mex
leo and returned to Appenzell. He was
informed, and naturally believed, that
both his wife and child were dead.
Later, he met his daughter, and, ignor-
ant of her identity, fell in love with her.
She is now nearly 20 years old, while
he is Al.
For four months the returned wan
derer wooed the girl with her consent.
1t was only when he asked the approval
of Farmer Schloss that he learned the
girls history, and recognized that he
had won the hand of his own daughter.
Rushing from the house, he Travelled
at once to Bale, whence he wrote to the
farmer, confessing everything. and
placing $4,000 to the girls credit in a
Zurich bank. Nothing more has been
heard of him, and his daughter is heart
/ broken
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1905-07-28

Grubbs," snapped his wife. an stay
here in the same house with you till
every one of them is grown up, and
then we can see what We'll do, But
don't you speak to me-
"All right, /. won't" answered
Ham Grubbs, and from that moment
to this they have never exchanged a
word
Sson the neighborhood gossips heard
all about Uncle Ham" and "Aunt
Julie" agreeing never to speak again
They wondered little, but made up
their minds that time would bring
about reconciliation and that all
would be well. Instead, the breach
widened.
AS the children grew older they be-
gan to take sides. This only served
to make matters worse. Day after day
husband and wife ate at the same
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1905-07-28

Implements and the handsomest wife in
all the country. Everybody envied
Uncle Ham" and Aunt julie"
For Is years everything ran on
smoothly enough, The years brought
more prosperity and more children, I'M
til in 1884 little Ella, last of the flock,
was born And she was still in her
mothers arms when the trouble came.
Start of the Quarrel.
1t was trifing incident-this quar-
rel of u years ago-that ended all the
peace and comfort of husband and wife
and made them never to speak to each
other again.
A peddler CHANGED along one sum.
mer's afternoon driving his cart. says q
special to the New York World which
explains the quarrel. He spied fine
flock of geese of which Uncle Ham
was very proud, and he stopped to lool
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1905-07-28
TILTED ON WEDDING DAY.
While Putting On Veil Philadelphia
Girl Receives Telegram from
Recreant Man.

Philadelphla-A telegram from the
man she expected to marry within
an hour, announcing that he would not
put in an appearance at the wedding,
did not prevent the revel of the guests
invited to the ceremony by Miss Cath
crime Simmons.
The wedding was to have taken place
on South Chadwick street, and the
house had been nicely furnished by
Miss Simmons and Charles Roser her
betrothed,
Roser was engaged to Miss Simmons
for a long time. The wedding was to
have occurred the other evening, and
neighbors declare that while she was
preparing for it, in fact in the very