davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Forrest City times., 1905-09-22
DlSFlCURING HUMOR.
Brushed Scales from Face Like Pow der-Doctor Said Lady Would
 Be Disfgured fer Life
cUTIcURA WORKS WONDERS.

q suffered with eczema all over my body. My face was covered; my eye went to another doctor lie thought my face would be marked for life. but my brother-in-aw told me 10 ge. Cuticura. | washed with Cuticura Soap. applied Guti- cura Ointment, and took Cuticura Re solvent as directed 1 could brush the scales off my face like powder. Now my face is just as clean as II ever was.-Mrs. Emma White, 64l Cherrier Place, Cam den, N J., April 25, '05.'
The Forrest City times., 1905-09-22
In Temptation's Wev.

This Is the first time you have been to pl playermeeting ln a long tme. sad the pastor ot a colorei congregation.
 'l had to come. cd AIr Bras us Pmkley. "l needs stIeugtb'nn lse got q job whitewashln chicken coop an bUIdin' q fence around watermelon patch. Washington Star.
The Forrest City times., 1905-09-22
His Point of View.

Jones-Have you home?
 Beggar-Yes: but it's thousand miles from here.
 Jenes-You look as miserable as If i. were right around the block.-Town Topics.
The Forrest City times., 1905-09-22
Where Music Doesn't Charm.

The office boy who thinks that he can make himsef popular by whsthng ali the latest tunes to his employer while he works hasn't tact enough even to he ap- ronted ambassador to England -Samcr- vile Journal
The Forrest City times., 1905-09-22

In the course of an address to students On one occasion Lord Kelvin. the great British scientist. uttered tbis onifram he end of education IS twofold-frst to help man to earn a living and, secout. to make his life worth living
The Forrest City times., 1905-09-22
That's What.

She-Do you think a sensible man would marry for money?
 He-Of course not. Marrying for money is more a matter of dollars than eents.-Chicago Daily News
The Forrest City times., 1905-09-22
The Pretty Daughter.

"I don't like the way every man we meet stares at you, Ethel"
 Well. you don't expect them to stare at you, surely, ma!"-Tit-Bit.
The Forrest City times., 1905-09-22

Red Cross Ball Blue should be m every home Ask your grocer for 1t. Large , oz. package only cents.
The Forrest City times., 1905-09-22

The helpful hen, with profits agqrecat ing >3i ,000.GG0 last year, wants al the world To know that the mule is not the whole thing in the Missouri barnyard.
The Forrest City times., 1905-09-22

"1s there a chance for me, Gladys?" There is, George-one in a million. |" George was young man of some ex- perience.
 That's too long a shot!' he ex- claimed. picking up his hat.-Chicag1 Tribune.
The Forrest City times., 1905-09-22

Every man wants to measure himself by what he k going to do, but the world m s.sts on measuring him by what he has a0ne.-C hcago Eeeor. Herald.
The Forrest City times., 1905-09-22
The Odds A Against Him.

ERNEST HAROLD BAYNES.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-10-27

America, and become O. citizen again
OF that grand old country of the stars
n stripes, and asked dad how he
could do it, for he said he had rather
work in a slaughter house in America
than be a grand duke in England.
4 never saw dad look so sorry for a
man as he did for Astor, and he told
him the only way was to sell out his
ranch in London and go back on an
emigrant ship, take ont his first pa
pers, vote the democratic ticket and
eventually become a citizen. Astor
was thinking oyer the proposition, and
dad had asked him If he was not
afraid OF dynamiters, when he shud-
dered and said every day he expected
to be blown sky high. and finally he
smelled something burning and said
the smell reminded him of an Ameri-
can Fourth of July.
You see, | had been sitting still on
the step of the veranda so long | got
nervous, for something exciting, so !
took a giant frecracker out of my
pocket and lit the long tail, and showed
it under the porch and looked limo
cent, and just then one of the hunkies
with the tightest pants you ever saw
came along and patted me on the head
and said | vas a nice boy, and that
made me mad, and when he went to
sit down beside me on the step | took
my horse chestnut out of my pocket
and put it on the step just where he
sat down, and how it happened to
come out SO | don't know, it must have
been Providence. You see just as the
turnkey flunked on the chestnut burr,
the firecraeker went off, and the man
jumped up and said: 'Ells.lre, ham
bowed and he had his hands on his
pants, and the air was full of smoke.
and dad got on his knees and said:
Now | lay me- and Mr.. Astor faint
ed all owe a rocking chair and tipped
beer bottles on the veranda and more
than 40 servants came, and | told dad
to come on, and we got outside the
gate, ahead Of the police, and got a
cab and drove quicker than scat to
the hotel, and | asst dad what he
thought it was that went off, and he
said: You a search me- but he
said he had got enough of trying to
reform escaped Americans, and we got
in the hotel and laid low, and the
newspapers told about a dynamite
outrage, and laid it to anarchists"
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-10-27

tom step 50 hard my hal. raised rtght
up stin, like a porcupiGe. Then |
listened 10 dad and Aston talk about
America, and | never saw a mar who
seemed to be SO ashamed that he was
a brevet EnslIshmsn. as he did. lie
said he rad so much money that 1,
made his head ache to hear the inter
est accumulate, nights, when he
couldn't sleep, and yet he had no more
enjoyment than Dreyfus did on Devils
island. He had automobiles that WOULD
fill our exposition building, horses and
carriages by the score, but he never
enjoyed a ride about London, because
only one person in ten thousand knew
him, and those who did looked upon
him with pity and contempt because
he had renowned his country to get
solid with the English aristocracy, and
nobody would speak to him unless
they wanted to borrow money, and IL
they did borrow money from him he
was afraid they would pay It back, and
make him trouble counting it, He
told dad he wanted to get back into
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-10-27
BY HON. GEORGE w. PECK.

" All
t~Ex-Governo Of Wisconsin, Formerly
Editor of Peck's Sun, Author Of
"Peck's Bad Boy" etc)
Copyright. 1905. by Joseph B. Bowles.)
Come in, you young heather" said
the groceryman, as the Bad Boy looked
through the front door. Its a foggy
morning"
"Foggy?" said the Bad Boy, as he
seated himself. Say, old man, you
Just ought to see a London fog. If
a court sentenced me to live in that
town, ! would appeal the case, and
ask the judge to temper his sentence
with mercy, and hang me. The fog
there is so thick you have to feel
around like a blind goddess, and when
you show up through the fog you
look about IS feet high, and you are
so wet you want to be run through a
clothes wringer every little while. For
two days we never left our hotel, but
looked out of the windows waiting for
the fog to go by, and watching the
people swim through it, without turn
ing a hair. Dad was for going right
to the lord mayor and lodging a COM
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-10-27
Patrick Henry's Grave.

Inquiry is made nov and then"
said James Atkinson, o. Philadelphia,
"as to where Patrick Henry, the
Tongue of the Revolution, Is buried.
The great orator lies in a quiet grave
on the estate in Charlotte county,
Virginia, where he formerly lived.
Red Hill is the name of the estate,
which is on the Stanton river, 80
miles from Lynchburg. When Pat
rick Henry bought the place 1t com,
prised about $500 acres. One Of the
nearest neighbors was the celebrated
John Randolph, of Roanoke, Is miles
away. Red Hill Is now owned by Hen.
RVS grandson, William Writ Henry
Baltimore Sun.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-10-27
FOLD IN 4 FEW LINES

Congressman Lands declares more
than a million dollars Is squanderel
by government in printing.
Il is r'por,ed that tho Western Mary
land road is laying plans 10 secure an
entrance into Washington.
Rev. Richard d. Spellman, n Of he
oldest ministers in the central west.
died at Fort Wayne, Ind. aged 90.
Henry II, Rogers aud a party OF
Standard Oil officials visit Tulsa. |. T.,
and the oil helds Of the territory.
The federal grand jury at Kansas
City will spend most Of the week in
v%estteating the subject of rebates.
Mrs. j D, L%eavitt, Of Warren. Ark,
is the first woman TO secure a license
TO hunt deer in Wisconsin this fall
Directors of the bank admit its to-
tai wreck and place responsibility up.
on cashier who committed suicide.
Enterprise national bank Of Ale.
gheny, Pa, paid a commission of $780,
900 to be made n state depository.
Mrs. Lloyd Wheaton, wife OF Maj
Gen. Wheaton, died at her home, 50
Pine Grove avenue, Chicago, aged so.
Mrs. Wheaton had been i'll a month.
The Illinois Central and Southern
railroads will run their trains in and
out of Nashville within ten days over
the tracks Of the Tennessee Central.
Miss Portia Washington, daughter Of
Booker T. Washington, has been ac-
cepted as a pupil by Prof. Krause, Of
Berlin, who Is very particular not 10
accept any pupil who does not show do
CIded talent.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-10-27

everybody hates me here, and | don't
dare go home to collect my rent for
fear | will be ~quarantined at Ellis is
land and sent back to England as an
undesirable emigrant who has commit
ted a crime, and is not welcome in the
land where | was born, Old man, have
a glass of Milwaukee beer and let's
talk Of your home and my birthplace,
and forget that there is such a coun-
try as England
Dad sat down on the porch, and |
went out on the lawn chasing peacocks
and freeing guinea hens, and setting
dogs on the swans, until a butler or a
duke or something took me by the col
lar and shook me till my teeth got
loose, and he took me back to the
yeranda and sat me down on the bot
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-10-27

plant, and demanding that the fog
be cleared off, SO an American citizen
could go about town and blow in his
money, but told him he could be ar
rested for treason. He come mighty
near being arrested on the cars from
Liverpool to London.
when we got off the steamer and
tried to find the widow who robbed
dad of his roll of money, but never
found her, we were about the last pas
sengers to reach the train, and when
we got ready to get on we found these
English cars that open on the sides,
and they put you into a box stall with
some other live stock, and lock you
in, and once in awhile a guard opens
the door to see If you are dead from
s~uffocation, or have been murdered by
the other passengers. Dad kicked on
going in one Of the kennels the first
thing, and said he wanted a parlor
car; but the guard took dad and gave
him a shove, and tossed me in on top
of dad, and two other passengers and
a woman In the compartment snick-
cred, and dad wanted to fight all of
'em except the woman
when the door closed dad told the
guard he would walk on his neck when
the door opened, and that he was not
an entry in a dog show, and he want
ed a kennel all to himself, and asked
for dog biscuit. Gee, but that guard
was mad, and he gave dad a look that
started the train going. l whispered
to dad to get out his revolver, because
the other passengers looked like hold
up men, and he took his revolver out
of his satchel and put it in his pistol
pocket, and looked fierce, and the
woman began to act faint, while the
passengers seemed to be preparing to
jump on dad If he got violent. WheE
the train stopped at the first station
I got out and told the guard that the
old gentleman in there was from
Helena, Mont, and that he had a
reputation from st. Paul to Portland,
and then | held up both hands the
way train robbers make passengers
hold up their hands.
when | went back in the car dad
was talking to the woman about heI
resembling a woman he used to know
in the states, and he was just going
to ask her how long she had been so
beautiful, when the guard came to the
side door and called the woman Out
into another stall, and then one of the
pulled out a pair of hand
cuffs and told dad he might as well
surrender, because he was a Scotland
Yard detective and had spotted dad as
American embezzler, and If he drew
that gun he had in his pocket there
would be a dead Yankee in about four
minutes. Well, | thought dad had
nerve before, but he beat the band
right there. He unbuttoned his over
coat and put his finger on a grand
army button in his %buttonhole, and
said:
"'Gentlemen, / am an American citi-
visiting the crowned heads of the
Did world, with credentials from the
president of the United States, and
day after tomorrow | have a date to
meet your king, on official business
that means much to the future peace
our respective countries. Lay a
hand on me and you hang from the
yard arm Of an American battleship.'
"Well, sir, I have seen a good many
bluffs in my time, but never saw the
equal of that, for the detective turned
white, and apologized, and asked dad
md | out to luncheon at the next sta
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-10-27
Blue Ivory.

Fossil or blue ivory is sometimes
found in commerce, and is used occa-
sionally in the manufacture of jewelry.
1t is evidently from the tusks OF ante
deluyian mammoths buried in the
earth for thousands of years, during
which time they have become slowly
penetrated with metallic salts, which
have given them a peculiar blue color,
allowing them to be used as t~urquotses.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-10-27
Well Posted.

A quack doctor whose treatment had
evidently led to the death of his pa
tient was examined sternly by the cor
oner.
What did you give the poor fellow? ?"
asked the coroner
'I~pecacuanha, sir"
"You might just as well have given
him the aurora ~borealis," said the cor
oneT.
well, sir, that's just what / was 60
ing to give him when he dled."-N. Y.
Tribune.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-10-27

Marion, Ind, Oct. 2l.-Twenty peo-
pie were poisoned, 1t Is believed, by
1artaking of mutton soup In the Oyster
Bay hotel. Mert c. Wallet, proprietor
Of the hotel, and George Falrchilds, a
guest, are in a serious condition, and
may die.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-10-27
Banker Freed After weeks Trial.

Auburn, Neb, Oct. 2l.--At the con.
clusion of a weeks trial, District Judge
Good sustained q motion to dismiss
the charge against Charles NJ. Cham
berlain, accused Of wrecking the Cham-
beriain bank OF Tecumseh.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-10-27
To Use nook.feurr uorey,

Northampton, Mass, Oct. 2t-Ths
trustees Of Smith college have voted
10 use a fund donated BY John D. Rock
efeller for the erection of an assembly
hail and a dormitory.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-10-27
Higgin WINS DiscbnrucJ.

Fort Scott, Kas.. Oct. 2l.-Georgs
Riggin, charged with completely in
the alleged murder of his slx-year-old
ron Herbert, by starvation and cruelty,
has been discharged His wife and
s~tepdaughter are still held on this
charge.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-10-27

San Francisco, Oct. 21.-The West
ern Pacific Railroad Co, through its
stockholders, Is arranging to Increase
Its bonded debt $25, 00O, 5000 which will
make the total amount of authorized
bonds $4,000, 600, instead of $50, 0OO,.
poo, as al present.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-10-27
Not Ready for Statehood.

Kansas City, Mo, Oct. 2l.-Chairman
Tawney Of the congressional party
which has been touring Arizona and
New Mexico declares that neither Ia
ready for statehood.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-10-27

The Bad Boy Tells His Uncle About
London Fogs How They Rode
f1rst-Class from Liverpool to Lon
don-A Visit at ''Bill" Astor's
Country Place - How "Bill's"
Flunkey Sat on a Chestnut Burr.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-10-27
Receiver For Kansas city Brewery,

Kansas City, Mo, Oct, 21,--tJpon pe.
tition Of gome Of Its creditors Il. j.
Becker, of Kansas City, has been APP
pointed receiver for the Imperial Brew.
Ing Co. of this city. The company
yves about $GG5, 900,
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-10-27

Santa Fe, N. NJ, Oct. 21.-Willlam
Diodtcon, of Schenectady, NJ. y, was
found starved TO death on the plains
near Red Lake, Lincoln county. 1t Ia
thought that he got off a Rock Island
train while dcmented.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-10-27
Say Yates Ia Out for senate.

Chicago, Oct. 21-The friends OF
former Gov. Richard Yates declare that
he has determined to be a candidate for
the United States senate.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-10-27
THE MARKETS.
SATURDAY, Oct. Fl.
Grain and Provisions.

"Nh'N
ST, Louis - Flour Patents, Si,29Qi.S5;
red, 91aJzlzc, COrn-No. 2, 50951izc.
Oats-NO. 2. zSQ2Shc. Hay-No. / timothy.
yIl.OJ4l3OO. Bard-Choic' steam, D9ZH2.
Professionalism mess, $500. Bacon
breakfast, linl4c. E~gK3-Fresh, l3a20c.
Buttcr-CreamerY, 1aWA2c,
indianapolis Whcat-Np, 2 red, S7hc:
No. 3, s2c CorG-No white, 53e; No.
Hay-No. / timothy, 8,7a.
Live stock Markets.
st. Louis - Cattle 500 Beef and butcher
steers, 81. G0a5 90; southern steers, E.bD4
3.55; stockers and feeders, t2.56U4.00 ma
tive heifsrs, S2G0fs5.2. Hogs Tor. Of
market. IS. 40; bulk Of sales, y5.o5u5.s5.
Sheep-Muttons and mixed lots, sI.50G i.75.
lambs and ysarIings. f5b0n7.25.
indianapolis ~ Cattle $50 Good 10 primo
gteers, S.25n6O0. Hogs-Beat heayles,
s. .30q5.50: medium and mixed, s.. 2jab.a5:
Sheep-Muttons, s. 1544 25, spring lambs,
.6.25a7.6J; good TO choice yearlings. 1850
as.
Chicago-Cattle-Beef Steers, S2.7sQG.so;
heifers, I2o9g95.09 Hogs Mixed ana
sheep Muttons, E.ZSg5.55; lambs. G.20lb
I Is.
Kansas city--Cattle-Natlye steers, ti60
06.00; gtJckers and feeders, S2.50ai25:
cows and helfers. &l.7Jul.15 Hogs-Pack-
era, G.lgu5.25; heavy, 5l5G53, lights,
lambs. E.25a6.Ih.
Cotton.
Quotations for middling range as fol-
lows: st. Louis, 1G4c: Now York, 1gzsc;
Memphis. Wisc: New Orleans. lgAa.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-10-27

A carload Of Italians reached Rose
dale last week and will make their
homes on the plantation Of Hon. Chas.
Scott, who expects to work his planta-
ton entirely with Italian labor next
year. Mr.. Scott spent some time in
Italy during the past summer and made
a study Of labor conditions In that coun-
try and personally selected this colony.
In u recent letter he expresses the
opinion that Delta planters can get all
the labor they need from Italy,
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-10-27

'Ex-Governor of Wisconsin, Formerly
Editor of Peck's Sun, Author OF
ttDnnEln d. Ill.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-10-27
Cotton.

Quotations for middling range as fol-
lows: st. Louis, 10Ac: New York, 1g5sc;
Memphis. lQisc; New Orleans. lglLa.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-10-27

Chancellor Fulton gives official notice
that the University Of Mississippi will
open its next session on the first day of
November, and requests all who pro-
pose TO enter to be on hand that day at
9 O'Clock, so that there may be no delay
and no confusion in any department.
The Chancellor states that because Of
the delay in opening the usual vacations
will be shortened, and that it will not
be necessary to extend the term more
than one week next June.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-03-04
Small Cotton Movement.

The interior cotton movement in
Mississippi has been exceedingly
light during the past ten days, and,
except at a very few points, receipts
are much lighter than for the same
period last year. This condition,
while largely due to- the movement
to hold back the crop, is also aug
mented by the almost impossible
condition of the country roads,
which prevents the farmers from
hauling their cotton to market.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-03-04

pounds Of weight from the ground, the
pain was SO severe. This was my con-
dition when l began using Doan's Kid
ney Pills. They quickly relieved me
and now l am never troubled as I was.
My back is strong and l can walk or
ride a long distance and feel just as
strong as l did twenty-five years ago
l think so much of Doan's Kidney
Pills that I have given a supply of the
remedy to some of my neighbors, and
they have also found good results. If
you can sift anything from this ramb-
ling note that will be Of any service to
you, or to any one suffering from kid
ney trouble you are at liberty to do So"
A TRIAL FREE-Address Foster
Milburn Co., Buffalo, n. y. For sale
by all dealers. Price 50 cents
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-03-04
1he Judges Joke.

II began to practice law in Dakota
IN territorial days" said the lawyer
from Chicago, in the Washington Post.
Our judges YER sent to us, and some
OF them didn't know any more about
law than they did about the political
beliefs of the mound builders. One
Of them-Iu call him Jones-was so
appallingly ignorant that it was a
great relief when, on the admission of
North Dakota to the Union, he left the
bench and began the practice of law.
HIS successor was a man wholly with
olt a sense of humor, and the only
SOod thing he ever said in his life was
purely accidental. A man was brought
to trial charged with seGling liquor to
the Indians. The Judge asked him if
he had a lawyer to defend him.
No" said h man; L don't want
a lawyer
Well" said his honor, looking about
the room till his eyes rested on his
predecessor, I'll appoint Judge Jones
to deTenu YOU"
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-03-04
By Pe-ru-na.

Under date of January 10. 1897, DR..
Hartman received the following letter ::
MY wife has been a sufferer from a
complication of diseases for the past
twenty-five years. Her case has bafied
the skill of some Of the most noted ply
sicians. One of her worst troubles was
chronic constipation of several years
standing. She was also passing through
that most critical period in the life of a
woman-change of life.
I'm June, 1895, I wrote to you about
her case. You advised a course of
Peruna and Manalin, which we at once
commenced, n have to say it COM
pletely cured her.
about the same time I wrote You
about my own case of catarrh, which
had been Of twenty-five years standing.
At times l was almost past going.
ICon7menced to use Peruna according
to your instructions and continued its
use for about q year, and it has COM
pIeteIy cured me. "--John O. Atkinson.
In a letter dated January /, 1000, Mr..
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-03-04
MISSISSIPPI
War Records Received.

Director Rowland, of the depart
ment Of archives and history, has
received a complete set of the official
records Of the Union and Confed-
crate armies from the war depart
ment at Washington, and the
volumes will be kept on file in the
department of history. This is the
only complete set of the wal rec
ords at the Statehouse, and is quite
valuable for purposes Of record. Di-
rector Rowland will also secure
copies of the supplemental reports
as soon as they are published.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-03-04
Dave Norman's Little Cow.

D. H. Norman, a leading planter
whose home Is a few miles from
Newton, possesses d cow that is
somewhat of a curiosity. She is a
jersey specimen and weighs only
231 pounds, and a day or two ago
gave birth to a calf that tipped the
beam at only % pounds. 1t is not
likely that another cow and calf of
such dimensions could be found in
the State.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-03-04
S'nail Town, Biz License.

The town of Tunica has raised its
saloon license by $3.50, making $3.50
that the retailer is compelled to pay
INTO the municipal treasury before
he can get a license. With the State
tax added, it makes a saloon license
IN Tunica cost S2,219.5O, which,,
taking into consideration the size of
the town, is probably the highest
saloon license in the State.