davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
ROYAITY's- BUSY TIME.

The dispatches indicate that Euro
pean nonarchs are about as busy just
now as a Kansas farmer during the
wheat harvest There is something
doing nearly all of the capitals of
Europe, and the newspaper CORE
lspondents over there are kept hustling
/ just as they are in Topeka when the
/ legislature is in session.
OF course the cars troubles are an
old story. The only thing new about
/ them is that they appear to be growing
worse and more Of them. King Peter
of Servia has also been sitting on a
volcano. and it is not at all improb-
able that he will be blown off before
very long.
But trouble has been breaking out
/ in unexpected places. King Alfonso
nearly got blown up with a bomb
while visiting in Paris a few days ago,
and while Spain would not have lost
very much, few people wish to see
Alfonso taken off in any such I'M
seemly manner. So Alfonso got out
of Paris as soon as possible and is
now visiting King Edward over at
London, which is keeping two mon
archs busy.
Then there is King Oscar. He is
mighty fine gentleman, but he is hav-
ing oubles-after having escaped for
a good while. The Norwegian Stor-
thing, which is the legislature, imagined
King Oscar. was not running things
just the way the Norwegian people de-
sire, and so they have decided that
King Oscar cannot rule them any
longer. OF course. Oscar hates to be
fred without at least thirty days
notice, and he is protesting.
Then there is trouble at Berlin.
Emperor William is not fearful con-
corning his throne. but there has just
been a wedding in the royal family,
and if you have ever. been through it.
you know how much trouble a we'd
ding in the family makes. That is
making things lively around Berlin.
At Constantinople things are COM
paratively quiet-for Constantinople.
The sultan has not been asked to pay
any of his debts for three or four days.
but as soon as the rest of Europe gets
over being afraid of Russia something
is liable to drop in the vicinity of the
Bosphorus. Fear that Russia might
grab a few ports on the Mediterranean
is all that has kept the sultan on his
throne for several years.
No new scandal has broken out in
King LeopOld's family for several
weeks, but that is something that can
be expected almost any time. Copen-
hagen, Rome and Vienna have no
troubles of their own. but their mon
archs are busy watching what is going
on in the other European capitals, and
getting ready to make the most of
whatever happens.
Some mistaken individual has said
that uneasy lies the head that wears
a crown" This is a gross error.
Some heads that wear crowns can lie
absolutely without exertion. In fact,
some of them seem to do it as a bust
ness, although there are exceptions.
The moral of these facts is that if
you contemplate embarking in the
royalty business, don't go to Europe
to do it. It's overdone there. Instead
buy yourself Kansas farm and be-
| come a wheat or cattle king. That's
the kind of royalty that really counts
for there is much less trouble about it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
Rival Crops in Nebrgslxa.

The president found the crop of
boys and girls in Nebraska much more
interesting than the corn crop. It is
on record, however, in the farmers
homes of that state that it takes a big
corn crop year after year for many
years to bring the crop so much adj
mired by the president to maturity
and dependable effectiveness. Let not
the value of the corn crop of the great
middle west suffer by this comparison.
Children in abundance are only to be
desired when there Is plenty upon
which to bring them up. It means
something to launch a child upon the
great sea of industrial activity in these
times, and much depends upon the
successful nching.-Portland Ore
gonian.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
Fitness for War.

The terrific chastisement of Russia
enforces at least this moral, that bad
government at home is a condition
most unfavorabIe for success in wars
abroad. There is no natural reason
why an autocrat should not wage war
with brilliant success-indeed, in his
tory autocratie- rulers have been great
warrior. But if an autocrat is to
make war it is in the highest degree
necessary that his autocracy should be
efficient, that he should be a man of
first rate capacity in civil business. The
example of the car of Russia, whose
government is one of the very worst
in the world. makes all that very plain,
indeed.-New York Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
An Unexpected Result.

Professor John Dewey, head of the
department of psychology at Columbia
university, believes children should be
taught to call their parents by their
Christian names. Professor Dewey
was formerly a member of the faculty
of the University of Michigan, where
they tell this story:
The professor was working in his
study one day when water began to
trickIe through the ceiling. He ran
upstairs to see what was the matter
and found his young hopeful in the
bathroom with the floor flooded. Pro-
fessOr Dewey was about to express his
feelings, when the youngster piped
out:
Don't say word, John, but get a
mop. New York Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
Porternge and Cabbage.

A British officer, in his expense list
on government service, put down,
PORTER. twopence" The war office. in
q. verbose letter, pointed out that re-
freshments, while in the execution of
public duty, were not chargeable to
the nation. The officer replied that
the item did not represent refresh
ments. but a fee to a carrier. The Of
fee replied: You should have said
'porterage' The officer treasured
the hint. Next time he had occasion
to take a hackney coach he put down
in his accounts, Cabbage, 2 shillings. .
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
NTontIl for Warrying.

June is first choice.
In Holland girls prefer to become
blushing brides in May.
About an eighth of Scotch marriages
take place in June.
riages occur in "the month or roses.
Germany favors April, regarding it
as the first of the spring months.
February is first choice in Italy, es-
pecially the period preceding the be-
ginning of Lent.
Russia's favorite marriage month is
January. So marriage, like death, has
all seasons for its own.-St- Louis
Post-Dispatch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR

IFrom the New York Press.1
Picking a wife is guessWork till
you've got her.
There is a good deal of happiness in
not hunting for pleasure.
A girl really has curly hair when she
isn't afraid to take it out in any kind
of weather
man can never look his wife in the
eyes when he tells her he is going on a
business trip.
What a beautiful world this would be
if natural flowers would only grow to
resemble their pictures in the seed cata-
logues!
Playing both ends against the middle
is where lawyers charge you for making
your will and charge your heirs for
breaking it
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

Two men had halted where the dew
Still made the cleaning clover wet:
One praised the sky for being blue
And on ones face a sheer was set
One scoffed because the other still
Declared success was due to pluck
and honesty and strength and skill,
one called it all the merest luck.
A maiden who was fair to see
Was loved by both; one went that day
To tell her of his love. and she,
The other loving. said him nay.
He went again and yet again,
The other doubling failed to 90.
And sneering at successful men.
Sat down alone and nursed his woe.
At last TO him who sought her of
Nhe lady gave her hand, and he
1har had not dared to WOO her scoffed
At courage and persistency
Chicago Record-H Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

Most of them have been exceedingly
successful A few have resulted dis
astrously. It all depends upon the
rnanagement. In general, however,
these cooperative companies have de-
stroyed the power of the grain trust
to take large portion of the farmers
profits from him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
TEE IoTNTED sNAKE.

Count Cassinrs reported expression
that the Japanese victory means N
definite prolongation of the war moi
Gates that the count is one of the faith
full adherents Of the ''j'inted snake the
CRY. All true sportsmen believe IN the
existence of q snake which may ps
broken to pieces, but which always
comes together again.-Charleston
News and Courier.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

away during the summer may have
she paper mailed regularly each day
60 any address at the rate of thirty
cents a month. Address changed as
often as desired. While ont Of town
EEz9 State Journal VIII be TO you like
8 daily letter from home.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
MIS-. LEASES Loss.

Mary Elizabeth Lease was held up in
her fiat at the point of a revolver by
two burglars and 'robbedeof cash and
silverware. Mrs. Lease says it is doubt
full if she VIII prosecute the robbers, as
they have been made what they are by
the tyranny of society. The lady had
better put a card on the door of her
fiat saying, Mrs. Lease lives here. Come
in, brethren. and help yourself. =
Rochester Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
The Philosophy Of Rain.

ats rainin', dad"
t'I know it,
IAN the old mules fell lame"
"Ain't surprised"
can here comes the Nghtnin' rod
man fer his money"
"Of counsel"
AN I think I see the sheriff,
cIimbin' the ten-rail fence
WELL" drawled the old man, that s
nothing. Things always happen that
way when it's rainin' atlanta Con-
stitution.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

was called the Emporia Republication
the theory that it would in time be-
come a powerful molder Of public opin-
ion It is dead So are practically all
the men who helped establish the pa
per. When the Cross bank failed, some
years ago, it was found that the bank
was Carrying over $780, 900 OF the paper
OF the Daily Republican,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

when Bent Murdoch heard that Gov
ernor Hoch had appointed Del Travis
as fish commissioner he said: The
man that Hoch appoints state fish war
den lives in the midst of a desert and
belongs to the Leland crowd Now
Pratt county has the floor to make a
feW remarks
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

In England when a speaker of the
house or cabinet officer retires, he is
pat on a large pension. In this coun-
try he enters the active service of
some big corporation, which amounts
e the same thing.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
KANSAS COMMENT
a BIT CONFUSING.

Things are getting a bit confusing.
1t is but year or two since Pat Coney
was telling US that the man whom Cy
Leland supported was the man for the
people" TO down. Farmer Smith,
also, was quite sure that Cy was a bad
egg. And now dispatches tell US that
Cy Leland, with Farmer smith a first
lieutenant, has elected Pat Coney de-
partment commander of the C. A. r.
It is added incidentally that the fellow
who got licked believes the ballot box
was stuned.-Sabetha Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
TWo EXPERIENCEs.

Kansas farmers want college boys
to help harvest the wheat crop Pos
sibly some college boys who didn't do
the harvesting stunt last year may go
out and work for some Kansas farm
ers who didn't employ college labor
last year-Sioux City Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

People who bought Kansas farms
ga the oil belt expecting to get rich
from the oil business, are in a fair
way to make their fortunes after all.
The low price of oil has compelled
them to raise crops on the farms.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
CHIEF OF STANDPATTERS.

They are going to change speakers
in the house of commons, but over
here-weu, Uncle Joe has acquired
the standpatter habit.-Newark Even
ing News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
RIGHT WAY FOR RUSSIANS.

Another Russian admiral is on his
way to the far easily rail. All hsh-
wav of travelling. Besides, the most
successful Russian naval movements
are those made overland.-New York
Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

An eastern woman could not find
her husband the other day, and in re-
porting the matter to the police she
said q part of his left ear was missing.
At the same time she commended that
the entire man was missing. and the
police were so stupid they could not
EeconclIe the two statements.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
HORSE AND WOMAN.

The horse shares with woman the gift
of the greatest animate physical beauty
and the classification does the lady no
discredit. As for man, his partner in
pulchritude is away down the line, prob
ably a mule and maybe a burro--San
Francisco Call.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

Governor Hanly's anti-pass crusade
has reached the point in Indiana where
ehe railroad commissioners have order
ed the railroads to furnish them a list
of public officials who are pass holders.
How would that sort of a plan work in
-Eansas2
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
THE FAILURE OF NAN.

The Nan Patterson show is failure.
There is good sign. 1t is evidence
that people even in New York are
finding better things to do than spend
ing time and money to see a girl who
has ruined her life. brought disgrace
on her family, and reproach to the
name of woman. The show itself is
of the very low vafiety stripe.-Iola
Register.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

Oklahoma is to have a Chautauqua
with Bryan, LaFollette and Sam Jones
as the drawing cards, but it will not
begin to receive the advertising the
Kansas Chautauqua viii get out OF
Tom Lawson
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

Three more Kansas counties are to
nave the county system of rural deliv-
ery-that is every farmer in them is
70 have his mail delivered at his door.
Already there are more than a dozen
such counties. The three new ones
are Marion. Morris and Linn.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

Was the officer who arrested Shea,
the president of the teamsters' union.
h member in good standing of the
Sherins' and Constables' union? If
not Mr.. Shea should object to the ar
Isl as iueeaL
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
IAPS ARE WISE.

It is a safe bet that there VIII not be
newspaper controversies in Japan to
prove to whom the glory really be-
longs. They have too much sense for
that over .-Spartansburg, S. c.,
Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
THE YELLoW PERIL.

What a commotion Japan might
cause in the Cabinets and capitals OF
Europe by sending Togo's victorious
feet to the Baldc!-Cleveland Leader
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

The New York public service corpo-
Eadons can probably sympathize with
the Filipinos- Secretary Taft says the
EilIpinos are too Door to pay taxes. too.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

The 0ftkado wishes it understood that
hereafter no real estate deals go in
Eastern Asia unless his 0. K is at
tached to the deed.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

DereIict life preservers are reported
to have been found floating on the At
lantic coast 1t is a cheering sign tnat
life preservers are now being manuIac-
tured that will fioat.-New York AInefi-
can
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

Those Russians seem to be very well
pleased with the climate of Manila,
even If it is midsummer there with the
msreury standing at 10 in the shade.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
GIVING THEM A PIPE

Instead of a constitution the car ap
pears to base the government of Russia
on the Dream Book-Baltimor Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

II the special session of congress
meets on November 13, will it mean
bad luck for the railroads or for rail-
road legislation?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

The mercury is ambitious. At any
eate 1t is trying to find that room at
the top that we often read about.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
NE BEST PLACE.

There is only one place in the world
where you can live a happy life, and
that is inside of your inconsistencies.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

Although the Russian calendar is
80 slow it is believed that the fall will
reach Vladivostok about the middle
Of summer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

"A boilermakers' convention has
Been in session in Chicago, and the
-Enocking has been something awfuI.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

Ever notice how 1t is always 50 if
SITS under a Toxic date line?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

The Chicago News explains the Nor
.Hegian revolution by saying that Nor
way IS tired Of being a twin.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
THE LESS" BUSINESS.

Through the working of the Jap
anese wireless telegraph and fearless
fleet the Russians have a shipless navy.
Baltimore Sun
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

In speaking OF the failure of the En-
poria Republican, Bent Murdoch says.
''It was started in 1881 by the H c.
Cross bank, c. v. Eskridge. P. B.
Plumb and the Santa Fe railway. and
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

J. Bunyan Adams is Of the opinion
that legislatures are a menace to
banks AS Mr.. Adams has been both
Il legislator and a banker, he ought to
know
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

''signs Of Peace" is the subject of
an editorial in the Chicago News. but
.4t makes no aIlusion to the Chicago
strike situation.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
TT wASN'T TAINTED.

Has anyone ever Investigated who
made the money and how it was made
with which Solomen's temple was built?
=HOlton Recorder.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

"A noiseIess Fourth Of July is a good
thing in theory, but there are very few
people who would practice it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

As a weeper the car seems to rival
Bne Johan Hoch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
so OuARANTINE.

Congressman Scott has invaded OF
tawa and he came SO suddenly that
Henry Allen did not have time to
quarantine against him.=Parsons Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
AND EvERYTHING ELSE.

First in war, first in peace and nrst
in ali tbe Yacht races-New York Her
aid.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

Jorgins-I don't know how to thank you
for this timely loan. It seems as IL 1
could. never properly repay you=
Jaggins-Say, if you'd talked that way
before you made the touch, you'd never
have got it-Cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
HVMOR OF THE Day

Taroy Husband-WelI y'know IN dear,
truth is stranger than fiction.
Tired Wife-Im willing to admit, sir,
that you have made me better acquainted
with Naturalization Tiger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
EROM OTHER PENS

ONE CONSOLATION.
I've got my share of trouble.
Like every one has got,
But, thank the Lord; it isn't
An auto or a yacht.
Philadelphia Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal Is a member OF the
Appreciated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report of that great news or
ganization for exclusive afternoon publt-
cation in Topeka.
The news IS received in the State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
pose
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

Dear Pop" wrote the boy from the art
school, don't send me any more money
l, have saved half that which you sent me
last month
Come home,' wired the old man; you
will never make an artist. Puck
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
al DIAGNnsIs-

A mysterious microbe has appeared
in town within the past few days. It
attacks nearly every one. The strong,
well fed man seems to fail an easy
victim. He gets up in the morning.
eats a very frail breakfast, and. in go
ing down town it is noticed that his
steps are hating and that his feet do
not track" He arrives at the office
fifteen minutes late, and is an hour be-
hind in the work all day long. He
find that it requires a great effort to
keep himself busy. He would rather
sit around than work. He would
Meals do not seem to taste very good.
His appetite calls for a bracer. His
muscles feel habby, his head feels
stuffy, and the office is very close He
would hail with delight the old sign
from the small boy which means
Lets go swimming" What is the
matter with him? He has spring
fever-Hutchinson Bee.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

your husband has a wonderful intel
lect, anyhow said the soothing relative.
YES answered the woman who tells
her troubles; che is one of those men who
insist on worrying about the treasury de-
felt instead of the grocery bill. wash
inZton Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09
ONE OPINION.

Senator Burton's trial will not be held
until September at least. If any Kan
sas congressman thinks he will be pro-
NOTED to the senate before the next
regular election let him rest assured
that his hopes are in vain. J. r. Burton
will draw the salary of a United States
senator until his term of office expires.
Arkansas City Traveller.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

He-Tou women are queer. For instance,
a girl cries when she's getting married
as II she We're losing a husband instead OF
getting one.
She--Yesi but she's losing lover-Phil-
adel2hia Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

Because she swooned and softly fell
Into his arms, though slight acquainted
The envious maidens round declared
She did not faint, but merely feintedl
-BroWning's Magazine.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

Jephtha had Just vowed to sacrifice the
first object that met him on his return
from battle. I hope it's my mother-in-
law" he murmured. Cheered by this
thought, he rushed bravely into the fray
Columbia Jester.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

Gerald wonder whether I shall be
numbered with the sheep or the goats on
the day of judgment!
aldine-Well. you are always butting
in-Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

"A considerable demonstration of ap-
prevail greeted the fall of the curtain. st
How are we to take his?-London Punch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-09

IT should think remarked the kind la
dy who had just staked the husky hobo
to a hand-out, that a strong, healthy
looking man like YOU would be at work. -
An, l would be but for one ting, lady, .
replied the weary traveller TT keeps me
so busy loolzin' for sumthin I eat dat /
amt got no time fer work Chicago Dali
~ News.