davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-04-16

4 Az 1Er - yt98l
prairie and thsn i would bury the Gre;
mated dead out on the desert, and seek
other worlds TO, conquer, like Alexander
the Great But don't be afraid. lfWonSt
dotit unless tleyxmake me mad, but you
watch my smoke IL they peck on your
little HenncrH too much, when he grows
up. ,as s
But j haven't any kick coming about
Gibraltar, cause they treated dad ana
i all right, and the commander detailed
an ensign to&show us all through the Il
fortress Now. don't get an henslgn
mixed up with a unique such as showed
us through tho Turkish harem. An
English enslsnsls just as different from
n Turkish unique as.syou can imagine {:
Every man 10 his place. You couldn't
teach a Turkish unique how to show vls-
ltors around an English fortress, and an
English ensign In a Turkish larem would
bring on world s war, they arc SO oil i
fercnt. We'll we went through tunnels
in the rock and up and down elevator
and all was light as day from electric
lights, and we saw ammunition enough
TO sink all the ships In the world, II It
could be exploded in the right places
they have provisions enough stored IN
the holes in the rock to Keep an army
for forty years, II they didn't get pto-
maine poison from acatlng canned stuff.
1t was all a revelation to dad, and
when we got all through. and got out
into the sunlight, we sbrcathed free, and
when dad got his second wind he broke
up the English officers by taking out 9
mcneil and piece OF paper ana asked
them what they would take for the rock
and its contents, and MOVE out and let
tho American flag flontS over T..
We'll. say they were hot, and theJ
told dad to go plum to, but dad wouldn't
do it. lie said Amcricn didn't want the
old stone quarry, 4 anyway and u ~ dld'
1t could come and take IT, ! guess theS
would have hadfdad ARRESTED Tor treason
only when wo got out into the town there
was the whole British Atlantic squadron
lined up with mon up In the rigging IKE
monkeys, and every vessel WIS firins
salute. rs II yacht came stcanlih6 ny,
Dad thought war had surely broke OUT,
or that some rich American owned INC
yacht, but IT turned out to pc Queen
Alexandra and aEpnrtyaot tourists h y, Y
when the hand played GOD save .lhe
| Queen" dad got ur on his hlnd legs
and sang so loud you would thlnk ne
would split himself, and ~ fellow Welt w
| and threw his arms around dad ana PC
gan to weep and the tears came iht u
| dads eyes. and another ffiloW plnehef
dads watch. and the celebration ciosee
| with everybody getting drunk, ana IN
queen sailed away.
sar, we arc going to Spain on tho next
boat, and you watch tho papers. we WI,
probably be hung for taking Cipa ana
| Tho Iohilinplnes Yours. ~.
~ ''''p'""e'' & Iil1NNERY. Y
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-04-16
PECK,S BAD BOY ABROAD
The Bad Boy Describes a Trip
Oh the Suez Canal-Ile Goes
Up Through Gibraltar il an n
Elevator--He Outlines a Gi-
gantic Plan for the Capture
Of the British Fortress.
BY Hon. George w. Peck.
tor Of "Pecls's SUM" Author :
nPcck's Bad BOW ctc)

i d
ironv~jrht. 1905. by Joseph B. Bowles.)
Gibraltar, in Spain and England
M Dear Foster Uncle: 1t seems good
10 get somewhere that YOU can near
the English language spoken by. llies
Irish. and the English soldiers are nearly
All IRISH When you think of the way
the British government treats the lrlsn,
and then YOU look on while an oraer,y
sergeant calls the roll Of company, ana
ind that nine out Of ten ans"er$,o TIN
& names. and only one out of ten has the
cotkney accent. you feel that the lr'sil
!. ought 10 rule England. and m O RourKe
4 o,. IN O'Shannessy should take the place
Of King Edward. 1t makes q boy who
5 was brought up in an irish ward IN
America feel like he was at home TO mix
with British soldiers who come from
the old sod
Dad says that there is never an army
anywhere in the world, except the armies
OF Russia and Japan. that the brnVcst,
men arc not answering to irish names
and always on the advance In ~ fight
+ or in the rear when there Is n retreat.
Dav says that in our own army, anu
when the. North and South We're fight
in4s the Irish boys were the fellows who
saved the day. They wanted to fight
nights and Sundays, and never struck
for an eight-hour day or union wages.
When the fighting was over, and soldiers
were sick or discouraged and dcspondent,
nm Irish soldier would come along. maybe
on crutchcs or with n bullet In his IN
nards, and tell funny stories and make
the discouraged fellows laugh in spite OF
themselves and. when another fight was
on YOU had 70 ". the wounded Irish SOL
diers to their cots.;in the hospital or
nut them In Jail to keep them from for
getting their wounds and going TO the
front for one more fight. Dad says If
there was an irish nation. with an army
and navy. the whole world would have TO
combine to whip them, and yet the ma
ton that has the control of the irish
people treats them worse than San Fran
cisco treats Cinnamon; makes them live
on potatoes and allows landlords to take
away the potatoes # they are shy on
the rent.
Gee, dad looked over my shoulder
and saw what ! had written, and nc
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-04-16

to hold up its hands and salute tne
British flags or get mess OF 9, ha "a
fired into Its vital parts, but mat Is a.
It amounts to, 'cause 1t conldn U WIN W. my y,
battle for England, and could only SINK
trading vessels. The walls or the ro '.l'.
arc perforated from top TO bottom, with
holes big enough for guns to SQUIRT smoke
and shells, but II the enemy should say 1
away from fight in front. OF inc iloles,
they might shoot iii doomsday, ana Nc never "
hit anything but fishing smacks ana ped sul-
dlers Of oranges. K
Gibraltar Ii like white elephant IN e.
Geological Enrden. 1t Just eats, ana Keeps
off flies with Its short tail. and visitors tor
feed 1t peanuts, and wonder what II was
made for, and how much my ~ eats eats
Gibraltar Is like n $50 gold piece that a. a.
man carries In his watch pocket ior an
emergency, which he never intends ~
spend Until he gets In the tightest place.
In his life.s and 1t wears out one pocKet
after another, and some day drops through
on the sidewalk, and q tramp finds "
and goes OF I'd d bnt and gets tho worth
Of his money, and has a good tine, ~ u,
lie saves ehough to buy brolno !, settler u
the, next morning after. 1t Is ike the ltlls..
sian war chest, that is never 70 DC 9 pen I,
ed as long as, they can borrow money. q
If Gibraltar could be put on castors s.
and rolled around from one country to-
another, England could whip all Europe;
and Asia. II ;woild be a Trojan horse on
II larger scale, and be q terror, but say
II 1t got tor America, we wouldn't 90 ~ ~
thing to.it.ssi NVe would run q standpipe !,
UP the side, and connect itSwith an OIL
pipe linefflll tGibralar's tunnels ana ave- ,S.a;
nues, and magazines and barracks with
crude oil, and touch match TO II, any NJ
not an Englishman would i've 70 t tel
nboutsit. Gee. but would be sorry Tor
the Irish soldiers but ! guess they3
wouldn't be there, cause they wouldn't
fight America,
Well, If England ever has u big war
and she gets Sohesty about Gibraltar and
says it Is 5impregnabo and defies the
world to take it, i bet you ten dollars IT
could be taken in "a hours. II y was "a
general, or I an admiral. l would have!
about 40 tank steamers, loaned with ke 70 4
sene ana have them land. innocent like
right up beside Gibraltar. ostensibly to.
sell oil for perfumery to the natives, who
would all be. improved by using Kerosene
on their persons. Then would get on
a barrel on deck Of my flagship SIN ana rl
command tire English general to sul-,t
render Internationally and If he re-
fused J, I would set a slow match on every
oil vessel and have the crews get IN;
skiffs and pullsfor the opposite shore, md.
when the :oilEgots on fire and rolled UP al.
over Gibraltar. and burned every living
thing, i wouldTthrow water from the fire
department. boat on the rock, and she
would split open .and roll all oyer tue
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-04-16
to the front are shaking hands with th ne
solves and waiting forgthe dove of peace

to the front are STA Mis-
selves, and waiting 5the dove OF peace
to aliEht on their guns.
THE Suez Canal probably pays, ana l no no
wonder. Z, cause they charge what they
please to boats that go through, ana II
'thev don't pay, all they have to do Is TO
stay out, and go around q few thou-
sand miles 1t Is like n ferry across
little stream out west, where there is no
other way to cross, except to wade Or 80
around and the old fcrryman sizes up
the wagon load that wants to cross. anu
takes all they have got loose. and then
tho travellers are ahead of the game
cause If they ddn't&cross the stream
they would have to camp on the bank
until the stream dried up. Some day an
earthquake will split that desert wide
open, and the water in the Suez Canal VIII
soak into the sand and the steamboats,
will lay in the mud, and be covered with
a sandstorm, and future ages VIII be dis
covering full-rigged ships down deep on
the desert Dad says we better sell our
stock in the canal and buy alrship stock.
And talk about business, there is more
tonnage goes through the 500 Canal, be
tween Michigan and Canada, than goes
Through the Suez and we don howl about
1t very much
Well, sir, have studied Gibraltar in
my geography, and read a bout 1t in the
papers. and seen its pictures in advertise
ments, but never realized what a big thing
| It was. Now who ever thought of put
ItinC that enormous rock right there on
that prairie but God. suppose the
! English, when they saw hat rock, thought
the good Lord had pd1 it there for the
English to drill holes in, for guns, and
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-04-16
The Champion Whittier,

Judge pcppcr. az Joplin, IA said to DO the
CHAMPION whittierfof Missouri Whenever en-.
gagged IN ne sass Jugs sof te pns
Stick connnences ia white. Usually by the
time court adlollr,,s the court room LOOKS ks
n planning mill. sfs 1aGt e VI
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-04-16

when the Lord was busy somewhere else
the English smouged the rock away from
Spain, by playing a game with loaded
dice, and when England got it. that coun-
tryadecided to arm 1t like train robber,
and hold up tho other nations OF the
earth.
When vessel passes that rock 1T has
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-04-16
Destiny of8the Mule,

Ole lnuIe9in de furrer
l'lowln' long do way,
You can't speak any lansuage, h, s
fut YOU hear rle Mister Mule luls q
OUT 'y -" p,layin' fool!
You coi,'t speak atly, lang ,.st, "
But sou hear me, Mlter NIUE
'Go long. make de, cotton
Make de cpp3en hayi
Wen de winter hi YOU
III give you holiday 80. I'D Z, i'm
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-04-16

Extra quality Canned Sugar Corn, Sc
Small California Hams. per ~
pound .....t.......i ..s................-.. -
Extra Quality Table Peaches, Or
cnri .............,.... &................a -
1saromel Syrup, extra qu'lity, per Sr
Bakers Cocoa, Ia ID. boxes. 1oc.; 00c
1-2 lb. boxes :. =
Root Beer, makes five gallons. SC
for -.
Yam Sweet Potatoes, 2oc. peck 7!Sc
orr 5ushel....... ............:.,.' -;
Best Carolina Whole Grain Rice' sc
$, sr pound. 80. '..'.'.' y
Quart Mason Jars New Orleans TIC
and Porto Rico Molasses. ...a.'.s..tA = 4
Mothers Oats. per OC
package .......... ......t.......'.. - 3
Karome1 Syrup. half gallon cans Roc
1Sc.; gallons ..........-.............. - -
Two bags Dunlop Best Fatent W
Flour for 7oc or, barrel. .......
Best American GRADUATED Sugar OC
per pound Observation-Disclosures. :,
on sardines, boxes sc
Observation-Disclosures. ................ &
Finola, in &c. pack &c
ages ................ ...... .......'
Navy Beans or Peas, per . &c
quart -. I. /. : -. $500.
New Hawkeye Rolled Oats, per 7c
+ package ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS .'.''''
Large Juicy Lemons, per tic
dozen Observation-Disclosures. ...i,.,.... = -
TIN boxes Axle Grease Csc
co..
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-04-16
ABOVE EVER THING G.
Distinguishes Our Groceries from the Average
Kind We Believe that Pure Food is Essentialto
Gaod Health and Sell Only that Kind Il You
are Hard to Suit, Try Our Stores

Country Smoked Joles. POT Sc
mound ............. 8.................... -
pound package Roasted Lion 1c
Coffee ............... s -
81 q<,od Green or Mixed Tea, per 30r
pound a a
N. c. Clipped Herringe, Sc
dozen. 1925 half barrel, or, 81 81
per bnrrel. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. %. ~ IA
California Lima Beans, four Csc
for :. $500.
g. cans Winner Condensed Csc
Milk, for OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. !.
PURE ee,a !, {, flour, best /, i, ! the 38c
Good Green . Mixed Tea, Csc
per pound
r,,ex,,,nc 1o,n, : -. PUN. Peach, Rey-
nolds,s san.eugsd and al popular 25c
brands, three plugs for.......',,....'.' .t
Ivory or Celluloid Starch, per &c
package 1850. ......,... ...'''.''' ! IA
pounds New California Prunes, nc
for ,..,........... .....t............
Meal best Dunlop, per peck. OSC
no.: per oushal. ,...................
Best Shredded cocoanut, per l NC
pound cans Genuine Roasted s 90
Mocha and java Coffee -. ~
Nv h1SKey9, fluSUIl -
Mount ! vernon. Old Rye. per 75C
Quart Mason Jars Syrup Jelly nc
and Apple Butter 5....,......'.,.,'''
Two pounds Mountain Roll But L!SC
ire for....................... '..... 49,,
nv orr 4oo Tea. It's as good as you
pay COO. elsewhere for.
h------..------ - ------ -, u
Try our jefferson Spring Wheat neat, F'our'
$50. bag or $500 per barrel
MAIN STREET @sToRE 1s2o-1s2s East i
Main Street. Phone &c. :.
MARSHALL STREET STORE-5o6 Eass
IA. Marshall Street. Phone a.
Price LJst Mailed on Application.
New-York tribune., 1905-11-12
appreciate fine logical distinctions, and 1t Is tne
coolie mind that is the important factor III the
TEET4HTEPEC.

The announcement that the Tehuantepec rail-
road is nearing completion and will be III opera
| ton within six months is O reminder VI 'ne
historic rivalry of isthmian routes ana OIL me
powerful competition which our Panama fali-
road and canal will have to meet Away PACK
In the time of Cortez the Tehuantepec route
was bracketed with those at Nicaragua, ran
anna and Darien as worthy of most carefu con
sfderation for canal. Humboldt paid much
attention to il. and twenty-five years ago. Wheh
the modern era in transsthmian traffic was be-
gun Captain Eads made it the scene OF DIS
proposed ship railroad-one of the most amDi-
tioUs and imposing engineering scheneS ever
put forth by Yankee ingenuity ana enterprise.
Eads's proposal failed to receive the needed
government encouragement, and was dropped
But it left a rich legacy Of suggestion anu
practical achievement in the way OF surveys
which the British company under Sir W eetniah Il
Pearson has utilized.
The advantages of the Tehuantepec route are
manifest 1t is much further north IMAM an
anna. and therefore affords much shorter anu
quicker tourney between our eastern ana west
ern coasts It avoids altogether the stormy
Caribbean and also the Bay or GAINS. II
traverses Il saUbrious and beautli counl!
under stable and progressive government IL
is in direct touch with the continental Faliroad
systems of North America. Moreover, Sie
Weetman Pearson has mace tue Idiil'"" 't
first class one capable of carrying an enor-
nous amount of traffic, and has constructed at
each end a fine safe and commodlous hafpor-
Obviously SO far as the bulk or lnteroceaAic
traffic is concerned indeed all excepting that
10 tho west coast of South America, Iehuante-
noe as q railroad route, is decidedly superior
70 Panama. Nicaragua or any other posslpie
isthmian route.
The completion and Development or tne le-
buontevec road and the establishment OF lines
Of steamships connecting with it at each END
are not. however, TO be regarded as dlscohraS
ing TO the Panama Canal project On the con-
trary. they are simply further reasons TOT go
ine on with the latter eXpedtlouSly as pru-
dence will permit, and especially for maklhs
tbe canal the most commodious waterway pos
sbIe Despite the shortness of the Iehuah'e-
pec route the Panama Canal will have the ehof-
nous advantage of permitting vesseis TO go
right through without any transfer OF passen-
oers or freight and that, after ALL is now une
cber consideration But the Panama Canai
sbould be so planned and built as to let the
largest ships go through with the minimum OF
danger and delay and it would certainly seem
that such canal should be lockless ana at
lido Ievel If there were to be no competition
we might build any kind Of canal, assured or
mononolv of traffic With the powerful COM
netftion of Tehuantepec, we cannot afford 10
build any but the best kind of canal
New-York tribune., 1905-11-12
a,a q has naved the way for the more decisive

and Il has paved the way for the more decisive
reforms now or about TO be instituted
Under the Presidents new order oil consul
lates above the $1,000 class are to be filed by
the selective method, and examinations for
entrance into the service are to be made some
thing less of q form and something more OF a
reality A State Department examining board
is to be created and fixed tests are TO be applied
of more general and exacting character. For
admission into the lower diplomatic grades ex-
animation Is also TO be required. and the appli-
cant must show his mastery of at least one
other language than English These are help
full steps forward for they cure the most radical
evils of the old system and give the State
Department a means of protecting itself against
applicants with nothing 10 commend them but
political influence. The work of the consular
and diplomatic service is becoming every year
more onerous and more important. It can be
confided with safety only to a trained and intel
ligent body. Secretary Root and the President
realize this. and their efforts to rid the state
Department of the incubus of the spoils system
will be heartily indorsed another contribu-
ton to good government and political progress.
New-York tribune., 1905-11-12
THE GorERNoR's GOOD EXAMPLE.

THE GOFERNOR'S GOOD EXAMPLE.
The cool good sense of Governor Higgins ap-
pears 10 excellent advantage in his reply to the
request of Mr.. Hearst's managers that he deSlg-
nate arInories in this city for. the storage OF
ballot boxes and order out military guard
for their protection. The Governor stands ready
at proper time and in proper manner TO 90
his full duty for the protection of the voters
in their rights hut he is not organizing raree
show. or interfering with the. orderly progress
of the machinery of government in answer to an
hysterical demand.
The Governors letter should be carefully read
and pondered by persons who organize mass
meetings 10 give vent TO reckless statements
and stir l1p unprofitabIe feeling over matter
which can he settled only by judicial process
IF armores are the most suitable place OF de
posit for ballots, their use, as Governor Hlg-
gins points out. can be secured by regular
procedure marked out in the statute Likewise,
if the local authorities have need Of the mill
tarv there is way to secure it. But certainly
there is no condition of inSurrection, invasion,
fumult riot or breach of the peace which calls
for the interference of the Governor to order out
troops in this city. Their employment 70 guard
ballot boxes would make a show. 1t would
serve the purposes of sensationallsm, but IL
would not tend TO dignffed solution OF what
are purely questions of law and fact to De Juu-
The sooner the gentlemen who are managing
the proceeding for a recount on behalf OF Mr..
Hearst realize this fact abandon their cam
pagn of public agitation and confine themselves
10 legal controversy the better it will he for the
city. 1t is we'll enough TO cultivate such de
gree of public interest in the contest as to draw
forth any testimony which is to be had OF illegal
practices on either side. but beyond that there
is no need of agitation. The contest III the
courts once begun will he carried TO a finish
before impartial judges and no popular outcry
will or should have any weight in the decision
of any question at issue This is not the place
for military guards over ballot boxes or for
inaugurations in force. The machinery of our
courts is amply competent to determine who was
elected Mayor last Tuesday. and no single po-
Iicenan's aid will he necessary to enable the
successful contestant to pass unchalenged TO
his chair.
Both sides should possess their souls in pa
tience aud try to emulate Governor HigglnSS
calm and his respect for the ordinary processes
of law.
New-York tribune., 1905-11-12
THE CZAR.

The suggestion has arisen that with the 1all
Of czarism the title of the Gar will also pass
away in favor of some designation less Feillil'i-
full of the old regime. change from Gar OIL
Russia to Emperor of the Russians Wouiu not
lessen the monarch's dignity, but 1t would at
least sentimentally Indicate the pro1ouhd anu
heneficent change which has occurred III hs
relationship to his people. The suggestion is
an ingenious one, but it does not seem propa-
bIe that it will be acted upon, though II 1t were
II would hy no means be the first change In the
titIa of the Russian sovereign For, III fact,
Gar has not for nearly two centuries been the
official title but it has become the popular ute
and. while law might in an hour change the
one. the latter could scarcely be changed III q
generation.
The original title, borne by Rurik and MS
SUCCESSORS was the scandinavian hohung, or
King soon changed into Kniaz, and then ex-
handed into Veiky Kniaz, or Great King, prob
ably in imitation of the Persian and other
Asiatic STYLES At later date KnaZ came to
mean Prince rather than King, and Nellky
Kniaz became the equivalent of the German
Grossfuerst. It was Ivan the terrible VINO
assumed the title of Gar, or Caesar, IN emuia-
ton of the Roman emperors, the two-headed
eagle of Byzantium being also adopted as the
Russian emblem. BY virtue OF this title ana
of the emblem Russia came in time TO clam
reyerSlOn or sovereignty Over Doth liie i-''9tVAH
and the Western empires of Byzantium and
Rome or. practically, of all Europe and West
ern Asia Peter the Great two centuries ago.
in further pursuance of this idea, decreed that
the formal official title of the sovereign should
be Imperator, or Emperor and such it has re-
mained ever since So when Nicholas Ii Is
described in state document it is as I'M
perator or Emperor Of All the Russlas. For
certain parts of the empire, however, he is
described as Gar for some as Feliky kniaz
or Great Prince and for Finland, of course as
Grand Duke.
The popular designations of the sovereign
have also been various Batyushka, or Little
Father. and Gosudar, or Sire. have long been
fayorites in song and story. The former has
been especially used among the peasantry, while
the latter has been and is much used in semi
formal address TO the sovereign, much as Sire
IS in other lands. Increasingly, however, Gar
has grown in popular favor, and 1t Is probable
that at this time nine-tenthS of the Russian
peonIe use it to the exclusion Of all other titles
He is called Car IN the refrain of the national
anthem and in other songs, In operas and dra-
matte works In literature and art, and is thus
hailed in the cheers Of the army and of the
people Gar therefore. he is likely to be in the
future as In the past, especially If, through the
passing of czarism, he makes the old title TO
be one of new and more auspcious signifcation
to the people.