New-York tribune., 1905-08-01
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

"The South McAlester Qnd. T) News reports
a of title worship among the good people OF
Durant. Ind. T.. and wickedy casts doubt the
genuineness of the Italian counts title. 1t says:
Durant is just recovering from one Of the most
acute cases of title worshipping it has ever been
our good fortune to read about. 1t seems an
Italian gentleman landed in town and stayed
eral weeks-whether because IL handy to Texas
or not dePenent doth not say. His name was
himself. Durant sassiety has been in a constant
tables Of the upper crust For breakfast dinner and
supper. and fortunate fellow countryman Of the
MONKEY made so much mon money that the monkey
got nervous prostration gathering it in. In an evil
moment some irreverent person shouted Next!
at the count, and now, alas! he has gone. This is
the way The Durant News speeds the parting
Count Cimbri will leave tomorrow for the vine
S unkn1w0 N and wbeTe mist noetrV and vine
not prohibited. His stay with US has been
ance, and wish him many smiles from the god
Bacchus. and that the muse may play hide and
seek in his we'll cultivated mind
An Italian engineer. signor Jelpo. has invented
a submarine elevator fer raising wrecked vessels
The invention recently put to a practical
test, with complete success. in The Bay OF Naples
where stone laden barge, sunk a couple of years
ago. and lying at depth of about fifty feet, was
brought to the surface with The weight
lifted about sixty tons The apparatus con-
sists OF compressed air chambers of canvas and
wire, each equal to lifting capacity OF sixty tons
and 1t Is possible to attach as many of these as
necessary,
be lifted All the port authorities witnessed the
experiment and warmly congratulated the engineer
MOTHER GOOSE MODERNIZED.
Jack Sprat conld eat no fat.
Quoth Jack: Dear Prue. the thing to do
Is very clear, Ween
With that they went to Dr. Kent.
punctured gland. the Jaundice and
Perhaps appendicitis -(Puck-
The British Museum has in it's collection a rare
butterfly which obtained in a remarkable
manner On a steamship bound for Sidney n. b
w several men were shooting at a mark with
revolver As one of them about to fire he no.
ticed a butterfly lowering over the ship. He shot
at it and brought It to the deck considerably
mangled. The insect was so beautiful that the
pieces were collected and sent to an English en-
tomoIogist. The butterfly proved to be Of species
entirely unknown to the scientific world
Second Choice.-A white headed old FRENCH
in a Hampshire village and requested the aid
of the clerk in addressing a letter ,,,-, o,..
Bedeau. Franklin" said he. producing what mad
!!sure How do YOU spell 'Bedeau?' asked the
clerk. whose scholastic attainments did not en-
DO no how to spell 'Bedeau'?"
Wal. den" and the old man scratched his head
mis- 0ys Bradiey Dat her name ever sence She
bin got marie. IA Qippincott's Magazine.
"Harper's Weekly" tells a story of German
whose wife, seriously i'll. taken to a hospital
for tment.
In the evening her husband inquired how she was
getting along and was told that she was i'm
proving
Next day he called again. and was told she was
still improving.
This went for some time. each day the report
being that his wife improving
Finally. night when he called he was told
that his wife was dead. Seeing the doctor he went
up to him and said. We'll. doctor. vat did she die
of-improvements?"
The poet Of THE Kirksville Echo" was called on
to write an 'ad' for local barber shop Wednes-
day, and this is what he wrote: Il have seen the
rose shed It's leaves to the morning sun, but l
never saw shaving easily done as at the Pool
barber shop