St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1905-09-22
FEW
.THORNS /.


jesse James has becn rol,,sd q
$500. Now he knows how u SEEMS
10 bc the other fellow
A Washington sheriff asks for a
divorce because his wife whipIc,i
him. Poor little. soft little, kid.
indiana's state auditor has stolen
from the state siIs.ooo. Mus, be
another Of lndiana's iavori,e sons.
Some people call dancing pray.
ing with the feet" II this is ~ a
clog-dancc must bc prayer in
Chinese.
Mrs. Taggafts lawyers have
been roasting the newspapers.
That all right; the papers roasted
her first.
A Denver couple separated and
father took the baby while mother
took the dog. That mother ought
to feel dog.gone ashamed of her
self.
Republicans OF Nebraska in their
state platform wish railway passes
abolished. Is that fact, honest
now, or is il merely a bluff for
votesl
a woman supposed to be dead
arose from the bier at Las Vegas,
New Mexico, last Thursday. Many
man stays at his beer till he might
as well be dead.
The Western Union Telegraph
Company has decided not to handle
any race news and track specials.
That tainted money fad seems
to he spreading.
The frog cure" is now recon-
mended as cure for typhoid fever.
We presume this means getting
down on all fours. looking wise and
at insects.
In Saint Louis a man was ar.
rested and fined $500 for trying to
fiirt with a married woman. Put
that rule in force in Portland and
81, 962 fellows would be broke
financially.
Mr.. Ream, of Toledo. Ohio, last
week won 500, 900 in a jackpot. II
,ne "ream" could do that "quire"
ought to get enough for a printer
md bundle" secure enough for
/ politician.
Just as we started TO make few
verses on the river flowing by
ST. Johns we were struck with the
hought that our religious principles
orbade us using the expression
hat rhymes with Willamette. We
luit.
Now that William Jerusalem
Bryan is out for Joe Folk for presi-
lent people are wondering IL he'll
work for him along the same lines
Ie laboredfor democracy last candi.
ate. II he does, Folk is licked for
urc.
THE spirits" in Chicago put a
nan OH the wrong scent and he lost
everal thousand dollars. Now he
as sued the medium. ANY man
'hom the spirits can work would
'se his money in some easy way
D what's the usel
There are girls one cannot nick
anne, Martha may be made Matte
atherine, Kit,ie; Mary. Mollie;
RANGES, Fannie; Sarah. Sallie
Vinniired, Winnie; but girl
amed Belle they never-well, they
all her Belle all the time.
Dan McAllen, the baby-show
ponsor is now suffering from ner-
ous pros,ration (possibly) from
ie effects of his baby show at the
'ir grounds last Saturday:
here were beautiful babies,
nd cross.eyed babies,
And babies with golden hair;
here were bow-legged babies, l
nd Hat t-headed babies,
And babies whose features were
fair; n
here were blue-eyed babies,
nd brunette babies.
And babies with hair like flame;
here were roman-nosed babies,
nj pug-noSed babies,
(They were babies just the same)
here were smiling babies,
nd bowling babies, IN
And babies too awfully sweet"
iere were well-fed babies, al
nj lightweight babies, 1O
And babies too busy to eat; on
lere were dimpled-chin babies, .
nj freckle-face babies, "
And babies that wanted to frolie;
lere were quiet babies, q
III little blonde babies, !
And babies that had the collie; !
ere were bald headed babies, Z
ID pudgy-browed babies,
And babies that chewed their !
toes;
ere were ropey-faced babies,
pressionleSs babies, ~
And babies that run al the nose.