The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-03-16
With the Long Boz.

-"R1e nsturss walks shoot folly 90 n nsa" |
"A WEST VIRGINIA business has just eoped with
"A shy young thing weighing 423 pounds
Do you remember May Yoe and General Putnam Bradlee
Strong of New York; They have 'made up again. The
country about much for May and Putty North
Duluth has for pair of electric fans in January.
@4
The London Mail asks els Great Britain running out of
coal?'' If so, we know just how she feels
.: M4 ~. s..,.r .E..%
People bet the big bucketshop that they could tell
which way wheat going to move now out earning
money again. The buckeshop has this advantage If it
guesses wrong it can fail. So you drop your wad either
way.
Where are those flying machines that promised
last fa7 People wanting something further up to fall
from than roller skates. -.-s
Evangelist Billy Sunday talked plainly at Dixon, ILL.,,
that stated that the boys throwing away their
garet papers and the abandoning decoette Co.'S
tunes and bridge whist" This is encouraging.
@4
Frank Eddy in the Sank Center Herald advertises
ga man." Frank sayss
will be expected to air every personal grievance
and publish every SANDER in the columns of the
in such manner not to offend anyone
He must be able to beg borrow, lie, steal and kill
if necessary, and be Of good moral character,
thoroly honest and reliable.
He must be man who will be gladly welcomed in
the best circles Of Society and who mingle sue
cessfully with rif-raff -. :
We want a man who can tear gasolene engine or "
printing press to pieces scatter the parts promiscu-
ousy about the office and put them together again
in the dark while you wait
We desire a man who collect five years back
subscription from delinquent subscriber and make
him feel good by the operation that he will offer
to go out and buy the drinks.
z In other words Mr.. Eddy wants "a good allaround
man, Unfortunately, just most Of them engaged
in managing railroads and trusts and in drawing $780,
900 year. If Mr. Eddy is willing pay this know
bright young fellow who might take an offer under ad
Rssement. c... : 49, -. +"
In Reading jail Oscar Wilde wrote book penitent
so pleading and full Of suffering and Of the lite
that claimed had out of it, that the book
erly called 'De Profundis.' Then when the poet was
leased from jail Paris and drank himself to DEATH
It's dangerous to put up much fine talk People are always
fooshly expecting you to make it good.
49,
When you were boy did you read the Danbury News
or the Burlington Hawkeye? The Danbury News made
wonderful and Bob Burdette caused the Hawkeye
to known all the continent There thing
in which all humorists Of the seventies and eighties agreed
Every spring the annual housekeeping article showed
regularly the fresh egg and respectable writer OF
this class let the by without taking down his
stoveppe print and having collapse under him. There
also strong temptation for the writer's wives to leave
soap the cellar stairs which their husbands
carefully stepped and thrown twenty or thirty feet
This good for half column We feel the spring
coming without longing to write about the man who
steps on of soap and departs suddenly sideways
by ways he knows not Of But the thing has been done
There are other stories soap afoa and true ones We
heard good recently from friend The other night
after the family had retired to the upper story it was dis
covered that there So George sent down to
the kitchen obtain little piece for the bathroom There
hunting thru the closet with lighted MATCH he secured
large bar of Monday washing soap and started take it
up for joke mother." In his eagerness he kicked
chair the dinngroom with his middle toe If have
kicked chair with your bare foot will know how
George felt about it. It is crime.
After moments painful thought, George started up
stairs three legs holding his injured foot far from
the comfortably could and presenting the appear
ance Of with piece of newspaper tied to her paw
AS he appeared the horizon another where
..mamma just had to laugh if George had killed himself
Wouldn't that make anybody mad? George didn't like it
bit. A. D. n: