West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1905-11-30
THE RAMBLER
Has Been Enjoying Himself Hushly
For The Past Week.
THE PRESTON COUNTY DELEGATION
Attending the Odd Fellows conelave
The causs-Farmer Gale Eas
Been Appointed Promoter
Governor Dawson Sails
For South Africa.

This has been the most pleasant
week / have spent since / arrived in
Charleston. My whole time has
been taken up in entertaining the
Preston county brethren who are
here attending the Odd Fellows
Conclave. The delegation is head
ed by the Hon. Samuel b. Mont
gomery who is somewhat familiar
with the environments OF Charleston
as he spent sixty days here as a
member of the State Senate trying
to place an embargo on our pies and
tax laws. Although young in years
the Senator from Preston proved
himself an adept in the Osler science
and on several occasions he had us
piemen and tax reforms almost chlo-
roformed. 1t was the opinion of
Gov. Dawson had Senator Mont.
gomery remained In Charleston a
few more weeks that il would have
been case OF "strew the piemen's
graves with flowers" Itwas a close
call for us piemen and we are pray
ing that the Senator will be too bus
lily engaged to attend the next ses.
sion of the Legislature. Not that
we dislike the Senator personally,
but we have no desire for him to
experiment on us with chloroform.
For six nights 1 acted as guide for
the Preston county delegation in
wandering through the Bowery and
red light districts. have spent
many hilarious hours in the Bowery
and the red light districts since
left my innocent home back in Pres
ton, but the six nights of fun with
the Preston county delegation can
not be made public it my Preston
county brethren are to return to
their happy homes and loved ones.
cannot lift the lid from the bur
lesque gaieties which facinated and
started the brethren to bowling for
more. 1t reminded me of my own
howl the FIRST time l risked one eve
on the enhancing beauties benin d
the foot lights. No one is an i'm
mune to the allurng spectacular,
whether he is an Elder like Bro.
Whetsell or Deacon like Bro.
Brown, who pray while the contri-
button box is being passed around
by Leader Shaw. l know whereof
/ speak for / have guided the saint
and the sinner through the Bowery
and red light districts since / have
been here and / have observed that
the SAINT could always yell the loud
est when the sights blurred his Wis
ion. 1t is one of the characteris-
tics Of saint that he cannot yell
with any satisfaction to himself un-
I'll his vision is blurred. Once blur
red their is no limit to his Joy until
he is aroused from his slumber the
next day. When wide awake the
next day no amount of coaxing
could persuade him TO Join i'm the
singing of
"After the bali is over
Just at the break of day J"
But do not want to leave any
doubts in the minds of the people
back in Preston county in regard to
the department Of the Preston dele.
cation in the Bowery and red light
districts. With the exception Of a
few nickels they dropped in the slot
machines they came out unbarmed.
1t is a great temptation the first time
you visit the Bowery to burst the
slot machines and carry off the coin.
The Preston delegation was no ex
ception to this rule, although ] re.
lated my sad experience in frenzied
finance.
There is one Of the delegates who
will not return to Preston for the
present. Il is farmer Frank Gale oil
phosphate renown. lie has over
stocked the market with phosphate,
at least that's what Bro. Scott Gar.
ner wrote me several days since, and
suggested that If could provide a
piece Of PIE for Farmer Gale to dc
so, otherwise he would be out Of a
job and the temptation would be
great for him to Join the Insurgents.
Once in the camp OF the Insurgents
he would commit depredations
aginst the Machine. There is no
one living, unless II be Gov. Daw.
son, whose opinion I would rather
place my dimes on than Bro. Car
ner's.
At the present time I am occupy.
ing the position Of both Temporary