Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-07-20

-xrWE
On the occasion of President Roose-
velt's visit to the home recently
bought by Mrs. Roosevelt in Abe
marie, he got off the Southern Rail-
way at Reed Hill, and was shaking
hands with the crew, when a woman
came along and started to climb on
the coach. The President was by her
side in a moment, and his strong right
hand speedily assisted her to the plat
form. Then he grasped her right
hand and gave it a shake, the woman
all the while cycling him suspiciously
and attempting to break away. Final
ly succeeded, and then turned loose
the walls of her wrath on Roosevelt's
astonished head, saying: young
man, | don't know who you are and |
don't care, either; but l want to say
hat you are the freshest that ever
struck here"
An Englishman, while passing
along the main street in Bangor, Me-,
stepped in a hole in the sidewalk and,
falling, broke his leg. He brought
suit against the city for one thousand
dollars, and engaged Hannibal Ham
lin for counsel. Hamlin won his
case, but the city appealed to the SUI
preme court. Here also the decision
was for Hamlin's client. After set
Ting up the claim, Hamlin sent for
his client and handed him one dol
lar. whats this?" asked the Eng
lishman. That's YOU damages, aft
err taking out my fee, the cost of APP
peal, and several other expenses"
ca;l IIon,1ip Tho Iynn1;chponn 1nnIy-
ed at the dollar and then at Hamlin.
whats the matter with this?" he
asked; sis it bad?"
In England there's a pretty little
country hotel known as the Rose Tav-
ern. Close at hand, in the hotel
grounds, is a quaint old ivy-mantled
chapel. If the hotel becomes over
crowded, as it does now and then,
they put away the guests in the chap
ell. A travelling man occupied it one
night. At six o'clock the next morn
ing The loud pealing of the chapel
hc'' "orsed the night clerk, who
rushed over to the chapel in great
alarm and encountered the travelling
man. Are you the night clerk?"
asked the travelling man. 81 am"
said the night clerk; whats the jolly
row." We'll, for heavens sake"
said the travelling man. rush me over
a cocktail to pew 49,"
A story is told of John Fiske, which
illustrates his frankness. One day
his wife bad TO report TO him that
their son had been guilty of calling
Mrs. Jones, a neighbor, a fool, and Mr..
Jones a much worse fool. Professor
Ffske sent for the youngester, and
when he appeared in the library, said
to him, sternly: "My son, is it true
that you said Mrs. Jones was a fool?"
Hanging his head, the boy replied:
eyes, father, / did" "And did o call
Mr.. Jones a worse fool?" Eyes, father"
After a moments reflection the ia
nous historian said, slowly: "Well
my son, that Is just about the dis
tinction I should make"
He-"I was an intimate friend Of
your late husband. Can't you give
me something to remember him bv?"
She (shyly)-"How would I DOR
Punch.
While in Paris, King Alfonso asked
M. Doumer, president Of the Chamber,
II he had to be severe in the exercise
of his authority. mot exactly fero-
cious," said M. Doumer; "since I have
been president I have had to apply
the censure only twice" "And for
what reason?" asked the king. BE
cause the deputies concerned had
spoken i'll of the republic" "Oh,"
said Alfonso, with a smile, eff I ap-
piled the censure to all who speak
i'll Of me I should have nothing else
to do" Upon this M. LOubet, lifting
his hands to heaven, exclaimed, "And
what about me?"
A preacher In a small New Eng.
land town received a call from a
large and wealthy parish in Boston.
AS customary under the circumstan-
ces, the clergyman requested time for
prayer and consideration, for, he said,
ne did not feel sure of his light. A
week or two elapsed. A friend hap
pening to meet the youngest son of
the preacher-a lad of a somewhat ir-
reverent ~turn--asked: "Well, Sam,
how's things with your father? Is he
going to Boston," II think So" re-
piled the voungster; "he's still pray
Ing for light, but mes packing"