The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-25
HUMoR OF TIE DAY

HUMOR OF THE Day
DO you believe that education promotes
'Undoubtedly. answered. the cheerful
IDIOT; "at least 1t is responsible for more
intelligent class of criminals Chicago
Owner of Automobile Ito chauffeurl-
Have you any accommodation from your
Chauffenr--No, sir; bat guess lean get
o. of A.-Why the delay?
Giles in the hespitai.-Ldfe
painting, and it's perfect daub. And vet
you said it bordered on the sublime
1t is inciosed in A one Of the he most maeni-
cent frames ever saw."-JudGe
remarked Popley. land no one can say It
was hasty wedding
ately, eh?'' asked Jigsby.
II should sayi why, he's prepared for
good remedy for cholera infanturn.''-
Philadelphia Press.
.T% in e a s; ag sa..n
"Flossie and May are both in love wits
me and don't know which one to mar
Don't marry either of them
why do you give that advice?''
Both of those girls are friends of nane
Houston Post.
Mrs, Young (proudly)- The landlord was
here today. gave him the months rent
and showed him the baby.
Mr.. Young (who's nightly kept awakel-
Pity you didn't mt siye him the blessed oany
Sloper's Half-Holiday.
ur-;z 1Jo,a~.1,v IA fa,,o- ,a,,t
make anything out of your poems.
Poet-Thats my trouble, too.-New Or
leans Times Democrat.
Jim-Is Tinkleton very much interested
in the coming municipal election?
Jack-Not enough to spend FIVE minutes
in voting on election day. But you'll hear
him five miles after election roasting the
winning candidates and the rottenness Of
politics.
Jim-That's the new professor OF Ian
guages at Slapdash college.
Jack-That beetle-browed, slangy young
fellow?
Jim-CertainIy. He has the important
task of writing. novel class yells and de-
vising college slang that is crisp and dis
Observation-Disclosures.
THAT watch he carries was his great
grandfather's.'
indeed His great-grandfather's 1
know I've often seen it at his uncle So
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
You may say what you please about
old Hunks said Mr.. Ijams, but 1 can't
forget how grateful he was when saved
colt for him by giving it little of the
right kind of medicine just in the nick of
''No-I wish you could!'' sighed Mrs.
Ijams, who had heard the story a thou
II don't want no better worl' ter live in
dan dis one what l live in now. House
rent an de grocery bill come run mighty
regular, but I never wants ter die ez long
ez dar's fiddle ter make me dance. At
lanta Constitution.
IN NUMBERS.
Though they had never met b-4
What cause had she carer
She loved him 10derly because
He was a 100000 aire.
Mr.. Feathertcp-Just a moment. Miss
Miss misunderstanding; can walt long
enough for that.-Chicago Tribune.
My idea of a man of infinite patience is
one who doesn't swear when his ,pajamas
come back from the laundry. with the draw
string pulled out.-Cleyeland Leader.
But Why SO sudden"
not waft-a half mile run to the depot.
Make up your mind and wire me-"
.Good~good-b Cleveland Plain Deal
err
Say. paw"
We'll, soni'
what is frenzied finance?'
"Frenzied finance, my son, is the way
every Saturday. night. Now run along and
y.''-Milwaukee Sentinel.
about the most painful spectacle
know Of" began the homegrown phiios-
opher
us the real dyed-in-the-wool stingy man
on a vacation. louisville Courier-Jour-
nal.
what makes you think SOP
saw me looking SO well. ''-Washingto
Star.
I'm passionately fond of rabbit stew.
aren't your" said the first boarder.
got dish Dir Of rabbit stew that didn't have
a hair in it."-Phfladeiphia Press.
HIS JAPANESE GRUDGE
Just back from school, cried Willie, hot:
"Geography's a painl
And mixed things up SO much. I've got
To study it again.
Eben-she vowed she wouldn't marry
that man. even 4 he were covered over
with diamonds.
Fio-But she changed her mind when he
covered her with MISUNDERSTANDING.
customer-Did you ever have burg
Jeweler1No. You see. we sell the stuff
so cheaply it's not worth the trouble of
stealing it-Aily Sloper's Haif-Holiday.
-.What have you in the shape of cucum-
bers?'' asked the would-be customer. as
he entered the grocery.
ssNothing but bananas, SIR" answered
the new cferk-Chicago News
ODD.
The English language seems to be
Quite queer at times, for when
A iovfaf friead goes on a spree