The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-02-05


climbed the GLACIERS. We found that
almost all the tourists III Geneva were
there because they did not want to go
home and say they had not visited
Switzerland, 50 they just jumped from
enc place to another. The people who
stay there any length of time are ike
the foreign residents of Mexico VINO
are wanted for something they have
done at home, that is against the law.
There are more anarchists in Geneva J
than anything else, and they look NARY
and wild eyed. and they plot TO XIII
kings and drink beer out of two quart
jars.
When we found that more attention
was paid to men suspected of crime in
their own countries, and men who were
believed to be plotting TO 3scaSsinate
kings, dad said it would be a good
joke if a story should get out that he /
was suspected of being connected with |
a syndicate that wanted to assass1nate
some one, 50 / told a fellow that L got /
acquainted with that the fus5y old man /
that tried TO ride a glaZier without any /
saddle or stirrup was wanted for at |
tempting TO blow up the president OF |
the United States by selling him baied /
hay soaked in a solution OF dynamite |
and nitro-glycerine.
say. they will believe anything in |
switzerland. It wasn't two hours before
long-haired people were inviting dad
to dinners, and the same night he was |
taken to a den where lot of anar-
till almost morning. When lie came
back to the hotel he said his hosts got
all the money he had with him,
through some game he didn't under
stand. but he understood il was to go
into a fund to support deserving anar-
chists and dynamiters. He said when
they found out he WAS a suspected as
sassn nothing was too good for him.
He said they wanted TO know how ne
expected to kill president by soaking
hailed hay in explosives, and dad SAID
it came to him suddenly to tell them
that the president rode on horseback
a good deal, and he thought If a horse
was filled with baled hay and nitro
giycerine and the president spurred
the horse and the horse jumped in the
air and came down kerchunk on an
asphalt pavement. the horse would eX-
plOde and when the rider came down
covered with sausage covers and horse
meat he would be dead, or would want
To be. Dad said the anarchists went
into executive session and took uD Il
collection to send a man to Berlin 10
fill the emperors saddle horses with
cut feed like that suggested.
Well. the anarchist story was 100
much for Switzerland, and the next
morning dad was told by a policeman
that he had to get out of the country
ouick. and il didn't take us fifteen min
utes to pack up, and here we are IN
Venice.
Well. say. old friend, this is the place
where you ought to be, because NOBODY
works here that is. nobody but Son-
oays and / have not seen soul DONG
anything except begging or selling
things that nobody seems TO want. II
ANYBODY buys anything but onions, II
is for curiosity. or Tor souvenirs, anu
vet the whole population sits around
i'm the sun and watches the strangers
from other lands price things and so
away without buying, and then every
body looks mad, as though they would
like TO lab knife into the stranger
The plazas and the places near the
canal are filed with hucksters ana
beggars and you never saw beBgarsr so
mutilated and sore ard disgusting. /
never supposed human beings could
be so deformed, without taking an AK
to them. and il is so pltitul TO see
them that you can't help shedding your
money.
AS hard hearted as dad is, he
coughed up over $40 the first day, just
giving to beggars, and he thought ne
had got them all bought up, and that
they would let him alone, but the next
day when he showed up there were ten
beggarS where there was one the day
before, and they followed him every
where, and all the loafers in the
plazas laughed and acted as if they
would catch the cripples when dad got
out of sight and rob the beggars- Dad
thinks the way the people live Is by
dividing with beggars. \ man who has
a defOrmity, or d sore that you can see
half block away, seems to be consid-
cred rich here. like a man in Amer
lea who owns stock in great corpora
tons These beggars bay more taxes
than the dukes and things who live il
style
! suppose dad never studied geogra-
ply. so he didn't know how Venice wa:
situated. so he told me to go out and
here and we would go and see TIT
town. When 1 told dad there were M
hacks. no horses and no roads ii
Venice, he said was crazy in my heaC
and wanted me to take some medicin,
and stay in bed for few DAYS, but
convinced him, when we got out
doors. that everything run by water
and when 1 showed him the canal ant
the gondolas, he remembered all abou
Venice, and picked out a 2ondolier tina
looked like one dad saw at the world
fair. and we hired him because n
talked English. All the English tn
gondolier could use were the word
you bet your life" and you're dan
right" but dad took him because
seemed so homelike and we have bee
riding in gondOIas every day.
on the water you can get away fror
the beggars- This is an ideal exist
once- You just get in the gondoIa un
der canopy, and the gondOlier doe
tho work. and you glide along betwee
buildings and wonder who lives there
and when they wake up, as all da
long the blinds are closed. and every
body seems to be dead. But at nigh
when the canals are lighted, and tn
moon shines the people put on thei
ONE YELL IN THE ENGLISH Ian
GUAGE. AND ONE IN EYETALIAN
dress clothes and sit on verandas, o
eat and drink. and talk EyCtalian, ant
ride i'm gondolCs, and play guitars. an,
smoke cigarettes. and talk love.
is so warm you can wear your sum
I1er pants. and the water smells o
Clans that died long ago 1t is just a
though Chicago was flooded by tn
bursting of the sewers. and people ha
TO go around State street. and all tn
cross streets, and Michigan avenue. i
fishing boats. with three feet of waite
or ton Of the pavements. Imagin
the people of Chicago taking gondola
and riding along the streets. landin
~ the stores and hotels. just as the
d. now from carriages.
We had been riding in gondolas 70
two days, getting around in the mu
when the tide was out. and going t
sleep and waiting for the tide to com
in when IL seemed to me that da
needed some excitement, ond last nigh