West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1905-03-16
rnL TANNED JACKET
And the Pedigree OF the Missing Link
That Runs ~.

DcwS i'm North Carolina is pub
hshed the most outrageous freak
ever admitted to second class rates
in the post Office department. 1t
really belongs in a class entirely by
itself, and is allowed to circulate as
a terrible warning of what crank
can come TO and to show that the
fOol-kiiler is over worked and needs
assistance. We refer to the Yaller
jacket, a mud Singing, polecat per
fumery distributor. issued bi-weekly
and published by the devil himself.
How it ever ge:s into the mails, is
more than we can tell, for it is not
fit for toilet paper at Weary Willie
Soup House. The whole besmatier-
ed sheet is smeaied over every issue
with abuse and udicule Of the Dem
ocralic parry aud how the devil it
can exist down South without the
proprietor and mud mixer being
burned at the stake, is more than
we can make out This poor i'm
itation of the great-grandfather of
the "missing link" who daubs on
this clubhouse product every two
weeks and calls il the "Yaller lack
ct" was born in the dark of the
moon, during dog days and was
raised on dog fennel. goat milk and
humble bee honey. This is what
makes him snap and bite at every
thing and his writings so rankly
favored, that you have 10 hold your
nose with one hand while you hold
the Yaller Jacket with the other to
read it. Bundle bee honey is
always made in the dirt and buried
in the ground, and from being rails
ed on a diet Of this kind the Yaller
Jacket editor keeps buzzing around
all the time like a gad.ny after a
jackass, trying to deposit eggs on
HIM and cross the breed. 1t rs our
understanding that this hybrid biped
went to Sunday school in his youn.
ger days and read the books from
the Sunday school library of that
period in which all the good little
boys died young, surrounded by
their weeping playma,es, while the
bad boys who drownded kittens and
went swimming on Sunday, robbed
birds-nesis etc, all growed up to go
to the Legislature and live to a ripe
old age. This came near making a
pirate out of the Yellow Jacket in
ventor and he ran away from home
to be bold buccaneer on the Span
ish Main like Sir Henry Morgan,
but got a job playing devil in a
printing office instead and this was
such mean, dirty work that it Just
suited him and he has kept it up
ever since. He puts in his whole
time studying up mean things to say
about his betters and even laws
awake at night and stays away from
church ON Sunday to work up some
kind of nightmare effussion about
the Democratic party and like
Dives in Hades, casts his vision
across the chasm between himself
and the Promised Land of Demo
cracy, inhabited by the White Mans
Party and b.gs from its founder a
drop of irutl TO cool his parched
and blistered lying tongue. Keep
on Mr.. Yaller Jacket and you will
finally meet with the fate of the
skunk that stunk himself to death.
Your paper is we'll named, as like
yellow jacket, your main business
end is the part you sit down on. We
shall now take an anti septic bath,
and fumigate our clothing before
gong into decent society again after
this screed, same as we do when
polecat gets in our celIeT or hen
house aud we have to get after him.
We also humbly apologize to our
readers for engaging in such dirty
work, but it has TO be done some
times by some body.