New-York tribune., 1905-02-24
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

The Bishop OF LANDAU. says London Tit-Bits''
is fond Of the concoction of conundrums, with
which, when country parson IN Pembrokeshire,
he loved to bewilder the grave historian ThirIwaIl
The story goes that not long ago Bishop Lewis
cluded clerical meeting by asking his flock: "If
it takes your bishop week to eat a ham, how
long would 1t take him to eat a hammer?" and
made diplomatic departure to catch his train
When the company had given up the problem they
wired TO LANDAU for the solution, and received
the maddening reply: II don't know: I've never
tried
DON'T NAG
If you wish to help the world little in your
humble way,
Your wife. If you're a husband. doubtless has her
faults but-say-
You may be too busy toiling for your little bit of
But you st can help in making the world brighter,
If you just
II you wish to give him courage who has chosen
If you wish to be his Relper&and he'll need help in
Don't nag.
He may have a few shortcomings-husbands gen.
And he may sometimes sit beaten when he should
But he'll rise with newer courage and new strength
Don't nag.
All around you there others who have painful
wounds to nurse.
Rubbing on the raw has ever and will always make
Don't nag!
You can see your neishbors foibles-all his weak
But, then, what's the use of proddIng when IT can
not bring you gain?
Why add by look or whisper 70 the worlds supply
of pain?
Don't nag.
If she has her days for frettng OH be patient then
Don't nag.
If he makes mistakes remember 1t is human still to
err
Don't nag.
You may not have strength TO rescue the pale ones
Or to lift the weary toiers who are stumbling Up
But you can refrain from making the world sadder.
If you will
Is, L Kiser, In Chicago Record-Herald
Congressman AIudd, of Maryland, tells of bap-
tism in village in the black belt of that State.
What is the name?" asked the minister Of the
child's faith r. John James George Washington
Fitzhugh Lee Blaine Harrison Smith," answered
the father. The old minister jotted down the
names and then, walking to the baptisnnaI font a
crockery washbasin. said to the jantor: 'AIose
get some more water. There amt half enough 70
baptize this child if we have to take in all his
names"
FOLKS IN RUTS
Tn world is full o. ruts, my boy, some smaller an
An every rat is full o folks as high as they can
Each one that's grovelln in TIL ditch is growIn
at his fate,
An wishn' he had got his chance before it was
too late
They lay it all some one else or say twas just
They never onct consider that twas caused by lack
through. from souD nuts: i''eo oieA"
Tn Lord don't send no derricks round L hist
folks out o ruts.
Some folks has stayed in ruts until they didn't
- ike tn place,
sich ones has always found hand held out for
An cling to tin they's lost the move peculiar to
But only them that helps themselves an tries for
WIN ever see. tn heIpin' hand t which each
This here's the hard plain solemn faeks. without
TIL Lord don't, send no derricks round t. hist
folks out o ruts
Baltimore American
Some of the names of towns upon which Tennes-
see bases claims for prestige these: Barefoot
Bolts Leap Year. Chimney Top ChucIaluck Half
Pone, Hanging Limb. lpe Marrowbone. Mouse
Tail Opposum, Parch Corn, Peanut. Rip shin
Sweet Lips Tom Brown u Bet, Yum Yum Buz-
zard Roost. Fits, Mashmead. Peeled Chestnut Shoe
Fly Skull Bone Sna-lope Tiger Tail and wahoo
FIVE LITTLE MOTOR CARS.
Five little motor cars,
Just fresh from the store
one wouldn't go at all
And then there were four
Four little motor cars
Pretty could be.
One went LOT fast
and then there were three.
Three little motor cars
Wonder what they'll do?
One burst up TO smithereens
And then there were two.
Two little motor cars
Always after fun
One knocked down a little girl
And then there was one.
Ors little motor car
Didn't have a gun;
Needed It; attacked by toughs;