Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1905-04-21
AUNTY SPEC REPLIES,

muu oatn. dow are you feeling!
Lots of things slufling of, but have
you heard anything about those
questions / asked the News? sup
pose | will have to give them up.
l think the whole News staff,
from the devil up, put on their war
toys. 1t looks hard that lot of big
men should fight what they call an
"enraged old woman" Mr.. Editor,
| don't know how to reply to their
last TRADE; there is nothing sensible
10 it to answer. Nothing but abuse.
Solomon says answer certain indi-
yidual according to his folly, so here
goes.
"Whom the Gods would destroy,
they first make mad" seems to be
very applicable here to our mill
pond mud singers; they are mad
all right and see utter destruction
for them. The CITIZEN said there
was too much lawyer up there for it;
there Is too much dictionary for me.
l think they chucked about six die
tionaries and ten encyclopedias at
me. | tell you what the News re-
minds ME of. At my last visit to our
agricultural fair / saw an object in
the field which was attracting atten-
ton. l wendell my way thither, AND
behold they had a great silk bag,
that was swaying back and forth and
swelling bigger and bigger. | found
that it was balloon. In few min
utes fellow came out, caught hold
of rope and the balloon was cast
loose. They assembled grandly for a
short distance, when, 10, string was
pulled by the man under the para
chute, and, with a small puff of
black gas, the balloon collapsed and
fell an inert, dead mass on the earth.
The parachute man descended grace
fully to mother earth amid the
plaudits of the crowd-not for the
inert mass of silk that had been
few minutes ago so beautiful, but for
the parachute and man that made it
collapse and showed that he could
even conquer the elements without It's
support. The public will recognize
in this illustration the gas bag or
balloon as the News of Warsaw; the
parachute the CITIZEN of Irvington,
and the one that pulled the string
Old Aunty Spec, the "purveyor of
false misstatements;" "yclept Aunty
Spec" to ye W. yclept News, greet
ingsl
l wish the public to understand
that l have nothing against the
News. How could l when l started
upon my journalistic career on the
Northern Neck News when it's
present editor Cor manager) was
acting devil in the composing room
(and it looks by his last editorial
that the old fellow has not quite
worn out of his system yeti? l was
on the News three years, but as
hadsaspirations to build myself up,
and finding that / could not rise any
higher than mill pond mudology on
the News l looked around to find the
best school l could. After looking
the field over | chose the CITIZEN,
as a clean, wholesome, moral, Chris
tian place to take my post graduate
degree. And | have never regretted
it. Had | stayed on the News
would had no doubt been some Jour-
nalistic tade-pole in the slime of
their political pond. Ugh! L can
feel the Shiny things creeping on me
now from the last dose they chucked
at me.
/ accused the News in my last
article of Inconsistency. / am forced
to add the charge of egotism now.
Last week at Heathsville court the
editor was telling of what be was
going to do to Aunty Spec. After
going home and writing that chaste,
moral editorial he telephoned to the
offices in this section-"send me
list of all at your Office who don't
subscribe to the News; we want to
send them copy of this issue. Well
Well Well you were certainly proud
of it. You say you don't often revel
in mud; guess it was such pleasant
sensation that you wanted all of the
public to see you. The ideal That
sort .of advertisement! Why, man
alive! the CITIZEN doesn't have 10
send around for the names of people
to have the paper read; got the sub
scribers at home and abroad. My
articles have been copied in papers
In other parts Of the State, and the
CITIZEN has been overwhelmed with
requests to exchange" That is the
only way to succeed; to work along
up the ladder of fame gradually like
We are are doing. Political journal
ism, like everything else, requires
CROPPING around in the dark and it is
necessary to 60 slow, or you will butt
your journalistic brains out against
brick wall. That has always been
the trouble with the News; she has
been too rash, too impetuous. Went
so fast that she has about butted all
the brains she has out against wall
named Thos. S. Martin. Now, there
are still hopes for her if she will take
the right sort of medicine-take q
powder of Martin, lump of Swanson,
put in the glass of Democracy, stir
with the spoon of harmony until
we'll mixed; then take little three
times day until cured. No cure
no pay.
Mr.. CITIZEN Editor, did not make
as bad break as you did in your
reply to the News; you left him a
little loop hole to crawl out, called
ldpsps hngug That was all that
saved him. We common. unedncated
people don't know what those Latin
words mean and of course lots Of as
thought that the News meant that
you were somewhat refractory, and
she was going to take you across her
lap. We thought that Iinguao was o
slipper. We all understand the
results from our boyhood experience.
| / would like to known what sort of