Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-02

produce - stcrility as dull and unntcrcst-
ing rs the cinders and ashes of the vol
cnnic fields of Iceland But include the
amusing clo mcnt within the experience
ana history OF mankind and no dcscrip-
ton of luXuriancc. with grape, olive,
ncctarint AMI orange such as makes the
wales Of Portugal IL perennial smile, is
adt ut'atc To emphasize the contrast"
One could not we'll instance IL more
amusing blundcr than that in u painting
IF the blessed Virgin in an old church
In Spain. In this painting the Virgin is
represented ns sitting on u red velvet
SOFA fondlnsc ii cat with one hand, while
with the other she IS pouring coffee from
| silver coffee pot This is as amusing
as painting in a German church re-
presenting the sacrifice OF Isaac and
Abraham is about TO discharge huge
pistol at Isaac, when an angel dtsccnds
and pours a pitcher OF water on the pam
of the pistol. thereby saving Isaac. The
writer once saw crude paintirr Of
| ing Herod with u pair of 'spcctacles
| aintcd on his nose. There is Il very old
painting of St Peter denying The Savic.r.
and several Of the Roman soldiers in the
background have pipes in their mouths,
will find many amusing bundcrs i'll the
daily papers and in periodicals Of al
kinds. 1t was only the other day that tho
writer saw Miss Fannie Crosby referred
t" in Il religious paper as the "author of
so many blind poems And it was Il
great metropolitan daily that one morn
ing gave its reader the following inform
donation regarding the wrcckiny of "A
I - ,,.xl.t
swan ashore and succeeded in saving the
live Of his wife. She was insured III The
| Northern Marine Insurance company and
carried cargo of cement" Equally
amusing as an instance of unconscious
humor was the statement made by an
other paper regarding the capisizing OF
a Loaf at sea. 1t said that "only one life
was lost aud that was found aftcrward.
| He must he sadly deficient in hunor
! who does not find himself amused by IA
! sign like tho following seen in the win
dow of a shoemaker: amy respectable
man. woman or child can have a ut in
| this shop" 1t was an cnterprsng
| furrier who placed card in his window
| stating that. for the benefit of ladies, he
would make muffs, boas etc, out of their
| Cwn skins
| 4 prolific source of amusement to
manuscript readers is the surprising way
in which asprants for literary honor and
glory often put things" We lind one
young woman saying of her heroine
The Countess fell back in a deadly swoon
When she revived her spirit had fled"
Another young writer places her hero
inc in Il very perilous situation. and then
saws of her: Her lips quivercd. her
checks grew pale. her breath came in
short pants"
y third writer gives this amusing de-
.cripticn of the appearance of someone
she referred to as 1.-The bell of the BALI"
'Shc WIS clad in some soft clinging,
fcecy. vapory stuff of purest white. that
gave the appearance of a bit of detached
cloud floating in the sky. She wore nc
ornament with the exception of several
bits of rare bric-a-brac gathered in q
foreign cline"
A charming bit of purely uncorscou,
hunor was that noticed by some visitors
to Il great English coal mine. 4 the
mouth of tho central shaft hundreds oi
feet deep, was IL placard bearing these
words:
please do not tumble down the shaft -