davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
TFrom the chicago News.

lETOm the chicago News.
Even his Satanic majesty despises a
hypocrite.
For each hard luck story buried two
more are born.
An incubator chicken must feel like
a child with stepmother.
About the only thing a woman is in
a hurry to pay back is a visit.
Most men try both evils in order to
determine which is the less.
At the age of 81 a man thinks he
knows 1t all and at 40 he knows he
does.
He who is in love with himself never
stops to think what others think of
him.
A beautiful characteristic of the ivy
is that the higher it climbs the strong
er it grips.
No matter how full the ear, it is hui
man nature to want a few more grains
on the cob.
Two persons are not necessarily
half-witted because they have an IN
derstanding between them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.

IFrom the Philadelphia Record
1t is better to turn pale than to
kick the bucket.
In the stock market it's the lamb
who is made to feel sheepfsh.
Money never keeps an even gait. 1t
always goes faster than 1t comes.
Before a man can expect to hold
his own he must learn to hold his
tongue.
A woman seldom says what she
thinks when she hits her thumb with
hammer.
To say that a girl is as pretty as a
picture doesn't necessarily mean that
she is painted.
wigg-"Bjones is putting on airs
since he got his automobile" Wagg-
Feels that he is in the push, Ell =?
Blobbs-'I understand there's a
black sheep in the family" Slobbs-
Eyes; but they try to keep 1T dark
Tommy-"Pop, what is procrastina-
tion?" Tommy's Pop-"Procrastlna-
ton, my son, is putting off till tomor-
row what you can get SOMEBODY else
to do for you To-Day
Muggins- "Wigwag is the most
creduIous fellow 1 know" Buggins-
THAT'S right. If anybody should tell
him he was a dead one he would look
in the newspapers for his obituary
The oyster now is in the soup,
The reed bird seasons here;
Corn on the cob still makes US w-hoop
And smile from ear to ear.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison Globe.

CFrom the Atchison Globe.
How you blush for some of your
acts in the past!
The prudent man opens his eyes
and shuts his mouth.
81 was right about it, a man said
today, but 1 apologize
When man is with a crowd of
girls, he will do lot of fool things.
Man learns from every experience,
except an experience with a woman
in it.
If it were not for the facts that most
people ask too much indemnity, there
wouldn't be much use for courts.
You can get up a quarrel, but will
you be any better off after you have
quarreled so fiercely that peace will be
agreeable?
A pup looks SO mild and innocent
that we hope it will turn out better
than others of its kind; but it always
turns out a dog.
The first thing that makes a man
feel small when he goes to another
town, is to have his mail sent in an
other mans care.
1t is a good plan for a woman to
occasionally let her husband have his
will take the pleasant taste out.
1t has reached that stage when a
man finds a roasting ear on his plate,
and thinks he isn't doing right be-
cause he eats it instead of decorating
with it.
There is only one way for a woman
to prevent her husband swearing when
he is putting up stove, and that is
to have it put I'D when he is down
town.
Never worry about anything that
you can put off until tomorrow. Many
of the worries of today, if put off until
tomorrow. will take care of them
selves.
Chauncey Devere Appleton has been
'going to the devil for years, to our
knowledge. We wish he would COM
plete his journey, and rid Atchison OF
the sight of his dissipation.
A bay was born to an Atchison fam
lily yesterday, and all the neighbors
who called this morning. cried. Why 4!
Because the baby's mother will not be
up in time to see the. parade.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18
JAYHA WKER .JOTS

Marshall county boasts larger acre
age of cemeteries than any other eoun-
ty in the state. It has 800 acres devoted
to this purpose. Leavenworth is a close
second with 29S acres.
Dave Leahy has all sorts OF trouble
trying to dodge doctor bills. It was only
a short time ago that he recovered from
a protracted sick spell, and now he, is
i'll again as a result of eating some
canned goods.
The Kansas farmer is nothing of not
original One of him down near Law
renee has invented a new use for the wire
hustle, far removed from the use for
which it was originally intended. He
uses 55 of them to muzzle calves.
The Olathe Mirror expresses the opin-
ion that Kansas can raise enough grain
and garden truck to supply a million
1t guarantees that Johnson country
alone can take care of at least one
fourth of that number,
Editor Olson of the Solomon Tribune
claimed forE1is town the distinction OF hav-
ing more monographs to the square inch
than any other town in Kansas, and
Governor Riddle Immediately jumped
up and said Olson just ought to come to
Minneapolis. 1t looks as though Mime
apolis and Solomon are good towns to
stay away from.
DR.. E. A. Dunmire, Hutchinson
physician, was killed in very peculiar
manner few days ago. He had been
out in the country fishing and was rid
ing home on an open car on a work
train. The wind took his hat off and
in reaching for it he lost his balance
and fell from the train, breaking his
neck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18
-nRYAN ANp pEMocRACY.-

1t is very evident to even those who
have only superficial knowledge OF
political affairs, that the Bryan Demo
cratsEthose who controlled the party
in 1896 and in 1900-will again as
sumo control in 1908, and w. ]. Bryan
viii be the greatest personal force in
the party.
The disastrous defeat of Democracy
! last year was a blow to the eastern
wing of the party from which it will
probably never recover. That in itself
made Mr.. Bryan the leader of his
party, and he will doubtless be the
dominating factor in the Democratic
national convention of 1908.
John H. Atwood, Democratic ma
tionaI committeeman for Kansas. has
already declared for Bryan for presi-
dent. A boom for his nomination has
been launched by the Jeffersonian
club in Chicago, and If Mr.. Bryan be-
lieves he can win it is not at all inn
probable that he will be a candidate.
It is doubtful, however, if Mr. Bryan
would be as strong candidate as one
other man his party might name. Mr..
Bryan is the idol of the western De-
mocracy, and he has great many
personal admirers in the ranks of the
Republicans, but most of those admir-
ers do not like his political ideas.
Therefore they would be slow to vote
for him, notwithstanding their person
al admiration.
But if the Democrats should noni-
nate Joseph w. Folk he would draw
a great many Republican votes, pro-
vided, of course, Mr.. Roosevelt is not
forced to take a denomination. If
Roosevelt's name should again be on
the ballot, the Democratic candidate
would be merely a sacrifice as he was
last year. But if the Republicans
should nominate some man either not
in sympathy with the Roosevelt stand
ards and the Roosevelt ideas, or too
weak to carry them out. Governor
Folk would be an extremely formid-
able presidential candidate. He would
take thousands of votes away from the
epublicans-possibly enough to elect
him, for Folk is another man of the
Rooseveltian type.
With western Democrat in the
White House Mr.. Bryan would be al
most as great as though he were him
self president. He would doubtless be
as conspicuous a figure as was Sena-
tor Hanna during the Mckinley adj
ministration, although probably in
different way. 1t is not at all improb-
able that Mr.. Bryan would far rather
be the second man in his party under
a Democratic administration than to
go down to defeat as it's standard bear
er for the third time.
1t is possible therefore that Mr..
Bryan may put aside the crown for
himself. provided he sees that another
can win where he could not. But
nevertheless Mr.. Bryan will be the
dominating force in the Democratic
party for the next four years, and if
he is not the presidential candidate in
1908 he will say who the candidate
shall be
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18
JOURNAL ENTRIES

If it is absolutely necessary we will
try to worry along without any more
agricultural boss trots for the next
fifty-one weeks.
Baron Komura has typhoid fever.
The baron should have boiled those
Portsmouth cocktails
Perhaps the printers in the job offices
are just figuring on taking their fall
vacations.
Practical jokes are ali right when
played on the other fellow, but most of
us prefer the theoretical kind when we
are the victims.
There's a great deal in the point of
view. Very likely those sure thing
gamblers who were at the state fair
last week pride themselves on the fact
that they do not rob the people as much
as the big insurance companies do.
Carl Browne, Coxey's son-in-law, is
starting a new party. This will be glad
news. If there is anything this country
needs, something it must have, some
thing the children cry for, it is a carload
or two of new parties. IS
''Dayhoff Talks Like a Fool" is a
headline in the Concordia Blade. Well,
the Blade shouldn't blame Dayton for
that. He can't help it.
Anyway. none of the other clubs can
pry the White Sex loose from their
position in the Western association.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18
a COMMON sroRY.

A passion once entertained
For Annabel Aurelia Brown;
! cannot say how was, panied
When that false damsei turned me down
All vainly to forget 1 tried;
Ny anguish would have melted stones,
contemplated suicide
Until met sweet Mary Jones.
l felt the utmost confidence
In Mary (then called her Nancy:
But sne alas, on some pretense
Would not reciprocate my flame.
/ feit again I could not love,
That wonan's faith was all a myth!
But soon got quite hand and glove
with Fascinating Polly Smith.
Another chap got Polly's hand;
Inc Initten, though, with me she left;
II realiy was too much to stand
TO be OF all my hopes bereft
But OF a Sanguine frame of mind,
DON'T allow myself to fret;
II Maggie Robinson proves kind
I think I may be happy yet.
Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18
THE TROUBLE WITH HooH.

''Hoch is lacking in every element
of leadership. He can shoot a phrase.
paragraph, and hit the bullseye ev-
cry time. but he never shoots with any
the target. He can choke John D.
Rockefeller to death with more in
vectiye speech than Leedy, old Man
Elder or the entire pop clan ever
hurled at the octopus He has lost
the confidence of his party and is rap
idly losing its respect. He is recognize
ed as a clean man, purely sentimental,
given to uttering fine speech, is at
tractive in his manner, but was never
born to be a leader.''-Wfehita Star.
This paragraph tells the cause of most
of the dissatisfaction with Governor
Hoch. Personally, Governor Hoch is an
exceptionally clean man. AS a citizen
he has always stood for what is right,
but as an official he has shown a lamen-
table inactivity. When decisive and per-
sistent action has been necessary he has
been dilatory and hesitating.
Governor Hoch's trouble is that he is
sentimental instead of practical. The
same spirit which led him to apologize
and plead for Senator Burton editorial
ly in the Marion Record, when Burton
was convicted of a crime, keeps him
from Furnishing other high criminals.
MS same SQ1Jll Is What t1AQG MIN
apologize for requiring a new bond of
State Treasurer Kelly-because the
law required it-when he should
have ousted Kelly from Office for not
complying with the law.
Governor Hoch personally believes
in the strict enforcement of the pro-
hfbitory law, and it was expected that
he would take vigorous means to en-
for1o H11+ he he
appointment to many people in that
respect. His utterances as editor of the
Marion Record had led the prohibit
tionists to believe that Hoch as COVER
nor would leave no stone unturned to
stop the sale of liquor in Kansas. but
it happens that his editorial utterances
were also the result of sentiment
as much too radical as his actions as
an official are lacking in that respect.
Occasionally Governor Hoch is
| seized with a determination to "do
| something but it does not last An
| example of this was his desire to stop
the exhibition of the "101" show on
Sunday. Unfortunately there was no
| statute forbidding the exhibition. Had
! there been one it is not likely that
there would have been any exhibition
to be stopped. Governor Hoch's action
was the result of sentiment worthy
one, to be sure-probably induced by
a sermon to which he had the good
| fortune to listen in the morning.
The Ottawa Herald publishes the
paragraph quoted above from the
| Wichita Star, and in commenting fur.
ther upon it, says:
I'VE produce, elsewhere, an editoria
| expression from the Wichita Star, a pa
per which has heretofore been feeling
pretty good toward Governor Hoch. W.
produce it more to call attention to it.
limpid style than to give circulation t.
| disagreeable things about Governo
Hoch. The remarkable feature in Mr.
Hoch's case is the unanirnity with which
his former friends and supporters arr
expressing their disappointment Thii
disappointment does not arise from any
thing Governor Hoch has done, becaus,
he has done nothing. It rather comes
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18
ANoTHrR STORY.

At luncheon she is like a queen;
At dinner like an empress fair:
At night so smiling and serene
She seems an angel seated there
A creature whom some bard of old
Would choose to praise in choicest
rhyme.
Alas. oh, youth: could you behold
This self same girl at breakfast time.
For smiles can not endure for aye,
And cen compilations sometimes fade,
And Wavy tresses will not stay
In place without some proper aid.
The dancing lights wondrous spell
May weave at midnight's mystic chime.
Illusions vanish, truth to tell,
Most ruthlessly at breakfast time.
Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18
REFLECTIONS of a BACHELOR

IFronn the New York Press.1
The Joyous seasons of life are
mighty short
There is no use knowing so much
that nobody can appreciate it.
You can always be popular with
women by making them believe you
think they are with men.
The best way to teach your wife not
to take YOUR change out of your
pockets is never to have any.
A man has an idea his collar button
would never get lost under the bureau
If he did not have wife and five chill
dren.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18

so far as we can gather, from a feeling
of wearisonmeness which Hoch has sup
erinduced by his talkativeness, by his pi-
GUS proc1amations touching his general
intentions, by his perpetual explanation
and analysis of all his intellectual symp-
toms. by his disposition to marvel in
public over the rapid birth of his own
ideas and emotions. especially the latter,
and by his mastery and never ending
inactivity touching the things he says he
intends to do"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18
his ExcELLENcY."

1t was recently announced in the
Moniteur Officiel that hereafter the
president of France and the minister
of state would be styled "excellencies.
In his congratulations to President
Roosevelt over the peace of Ports
mouth President Loubet addressed the
American chief executive as ''his ex-
cellency'-a title that always stirs
Mr.. Roosevelt's- bile. The governor
of Massachusetts is by constitutional
decree s'his excellency,'' but the presi-
dent of the United States is not. He
is simply "Mr President" although
Senator Hoar denied even the Mr."
and used to insist on addressing the
chief executive as president" Presi-
as s'ais excellency,'' but nobody will
achieve popularity at the White
House or Sycamore Hill by addressing
Mr.. Roosevelt by that title.-New
York World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18
VIOLATING A PRECEDENT.

There are a number of editors in
northern Kansas who do not seem to
be aware that the extension of the
Central Branch comes under certain
well defined unwritten laws that no
think of violating The time for ex-
tending the Central Branch is always
in the spring. The spring has passed
and the summer is almost ended, but
certain ones continue to extend the
road. Brethren, wait with patience
for the proper time.-Osborne Farmer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18

Says the Washington Post: prof. e.
Benjamin Andrews predicts the norni-
nation of Mr.. Root at the next Repub-
ucan national convention. In other re-
Epeets Mr.. Roots boom is doi1g quite
we'll" It's too bad that Mr. Roots boom
should be thusly handicapped. Cannot
mr.. Roots friends coax Prof. Andrews
to support somebody else?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18
Nfigllt stay on Earth.

Speaker Joseph Cannon, in response
to a toast at a recent dinner, began
HIS remarks so as to create the initial
laugh which is SO much desired by
orators as a preparation for weightier
matter to follow.
Astronomers tell US" he began. &C
cording to the gentleman who has just
sat down, that an express train moving
a hundred miles a second would con-
sumo several million years in reaching
a certain star"
He paused and looked toward the
guest to whom he had referred.
THAT was the statement" said the
speakers neighbor. nodding-
at was just thinking" pursued Mr.
Cannon, what a predicament a man
would be in if he should miss the last
train and have to walk.''-Success.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18
RECoMING A HARIr.

The fashion Of closing joints is grow
ing in Kansas. They have closed down
at Winfield and in several other towns
in the state the joint gentlemen have
gone out of business. Preparations are
being made to have them do so In a.
number of other tewns.-Miami Repub-
lcan.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18

from Europe. It is not supposed that
Senator Smith had quite that much
with him after he had got through with
Europe. or rather after Europe got
through with him. If it had hap
pened going over
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18
KANSAS COAAENT
BRING ON YoUR PARTY.

A gentleman remarked on the street
the other day that Beck seemed to
have let up in his fight on the Demo-
cratic party. If the gentleman will
be kind enough to point out a Demo-
cratic party in this county or even an
inhnitesimal remnant of one that can
be located and identified, Beck will
agree to give it a swipe or two just to
show that his right Republican hand
is not paralyzed and that it has not
lost its cunning.-Holton Recorder.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18

Detroit is the latest town to come for
ward with a city directory population
estimate She claims her new direc-
tory shows she has population of 4o8,-
BIZ, and she intends to prove it by hav-
ing that many when the next federal
census is taken in 1910.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18
A DISCREPANCY.

A prominent exchange in a county
adjoining Wilson discussing the alleged
John Brown spring, says: Brown was
a grand old man in many respects but
with all the fair Kansas land
before him to be had at $1.25 per acre
or by demonstrating, he was sojourner
and never owned or entered land in
Kansas John Brown was executed
December 2, 1853; the homestead law
did not pass congress until May 20, 1862.
s-Fredonfa Citizen
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18

Superintendent Dayhoff has decided
that teacher may spank a pupil so
long as it doesn't leave any marks.
Some of these days somebody may
make mistake and take Superin-
tendent Dayhoff across a corrective
knee
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18

Speaking of sure things, it's a safe bet
That the Paris correspondent who cabled
a false interview with President Roose-
welt to his paper did not cable the little
personal note he later received from
the president.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18
THE UsEFUL REsoLUTIoN.

The state school fund commission
ers very considerably passed a resolu-
ton few days ago that the state
treasurer of Kansas had neither
bought any bonds of the commission
nor sold any to it, Notwithstanding the
stubs of warrants show that payments
were made to the state treasurer for
bonds. Another case of lack of ex-
perience, possibly. Now, the COM
mission can further clarity the at
mosphere if it will adopt resolution
that there are no state funds in the
busted Devlin bank. What a useful
thing a resolution is, anyway.-Miami
County Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18

Here is another testimonial for our
Kansas brand, this time from the
Washington Post: Governor Folk
says that he cannot remember taking
q drink of Kansas whisky. Then he
didn't take it. No man who ever
takes a drink Of real Kansas whisky
ever forgets it,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18

William Allen White wagered a din
aer with Governor Folk that the lid
wasn't on so tight in st. Louis that
he couldn't get a drink of liquor on
Sunday. He lost Can Mr.. White
get wager like that out of Governor
Koch concerning any of the larger
Kansas towns?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18

Instead of keeping the lid on, the
New York authorities are lifting the
lid off the big insurance companies,
and we are finding out a good many
things.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18

How to Control the Surplus" is
the title of an editorial in the WASH
4ngton Post. Perhaps it's like the
recipe fol. cooking a hare: First catch
your SURPLUS.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18
PUBLICITY.

Publicity in addition to its curative
properties, is useful sometimes as a
preventive. There are reasons for
thinking that 1t prevented one Adj
dicks from going to the United States
senate.-Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18

did those high and mighty life in
gurance men ever think of the policy
holders interests7" asks the Chicago
News. What a question! What possible
Interest can policy holders have in an
Insurance comnany7
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18

The Chicago News asks why, for a
nhange, somebody doesn't discover an
honest insurance company. Now watch
lot of them look conscious and wriggle
around on one foot, as they expect
Themselves to be discovered.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18

The facts Brought out in the insur-
ance investigation make it more and
more clear why some of the big cor
poration do not look with favor upon
President Roosevelt's plan of publicity
for corporations,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18

When the magazine writers hold
convention do you suppose they will
follow the example of the humorists
and elect Mr.. Rockefeller to honorary
membership?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18

Very likely the best way to see the
under side Of life in New York is from
khe subway.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18

Chicago hears that the potato crop
Is failure. The potato growers think
SO; The failure is in the price. Po-
tatoes are worth almost fifty cents a
hllsheI