Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1905-03-04
~ %sS'kSHES
10 S0 49, Hs-
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year. Mixer Corrigan-"Oi did not
OF was out ON strike from May 10
October. Puck.
Waiter, l find here In my soup Il
needle-a needle, slrr' THAT must
he a misprlnt-that should be a
noodle. Judge
"How's you gettn' on wild youah
rlthmehc, Lou2" Il done learned to
add up the oughts, but de figures bod
der me. "-Colller's. Magazine.
All In the brand; Homer-"whats
the difference In time between Chicago
and Paris?" Rounder-"W well, that de-
ponds on the kind of a time you are
looking for, Chicago News.
He says he proposes to make auto
mobiles that Will easily attain a speed
of eighty miles an hour" "Whew!
that's n great business undertaking"
Yes, hut most of all, II means great
undertaking business. Philadelphia
Press
How did they ever come to send
him TO the legislature ?" well you
see, they were prevented by technl-
callty from sending him to the peni-
Tertiary and he showed no disposition
/ to move out Of town. Chicago Rec
ord Herald.
Farmer Jones-"Wal. thar's ono
thing like about these plaguey auto
mobolists, anyway" Farmer Brown
What is that?" Farmer Jones They
/ don't mind ,rnttiy,y l,iiIol +kn,,.,l,~,,
any more than they do killing other
folk. '-B Brooklyn Life.
Bags And SO poor Daggs is dead.
| never got chance to bid him good
by The first thing | do when / get
to heaven will he to say how sorry
was" FaggS-"But suppose he
didn't get to heaven?' Baggs-"Thcn
yon tell him for me."--Town Topics.
How Is your school of Journalism
DOING well, it is "A little slow. We
have no trouble in getting people who
are willing to be- teachers. The trouble
is to find anybody who doesn't think
he knows all about how newspaper
ought TO be Washington Star.
Il understand your wife is quite
literary" Il should say so: she won
Il ten-dollar prize from the Ladies'
own Journal with an article on How
we managed to save enough I'm two
years to move twice ana pay the
plumber for connecting the gas range"
Puck
Il don't like to say such long pray
ers.' said little girl the other night:
Il want 70 say nice short ones like
nursery does what kind does nur-
sy say?" inquired her mother. "Ob,
she just says, oh, Lord, why do
have to get up" Philadelphia
Ledger
Kfter-"That's a nice umbrella
you've got" Lifter-"Yes, it was a
present" Nfter Indeed? Who gave
1t to you LITTER" Nobody gave 1t
to me, but 1t has an Inscription on 1t
showing that 1t was presented to
John +. Jones whoever that is. -
Philadelphia Press.
odd Bllggers is such n strong Dem
ocrnt | should not have supposed he
would consent TO his daughters marry
ing young Smith, who Is a Republ-
can" We'll, Biggers says his wife
is a Democrat too, and he is going
to get somebody else into the family
for her to argue with. Life.
The sicN man had called his lawyer
Il wish to explain again to You" said
he weakly, about willing my prop
erty The attorney held up his
hand reassuringly, There, there" said
he. leave that all to me- The sick
man sighed rcsgnedly. 80 suppose
might as we'll" said he, turning upon
his pillow; youll get it, anyway. 49,
Judge
| Anxious Inquirer is it true taat
for fifteen shHIngs | can Insure my
house for a thousand pOundsf' Clerk
quite true, madam. II your house
burns down we pay you thousand
pounds" Anxious Inquircr-"And do
you make any inquiries as to how the
fire originatedW Clerk Certainly.
We make the most careful Inquiries"
Anxious lnquirer-"Ah! | thought
there was a catch in it somewhere"
-Tatler.
Mrs. Kidder-"C Charles. can't you
give me another check? I see you
have a whole book fun Mr. Kiddcr
THAT doesn't signify. dear. | have
used up my balance at the bank"
Mrs Kidder Then why didn't you
give up your checkbook7 Now. it's
no use for You TO tell stories, Joseph
+ Kiddcr If you mean to say 1 shan't
/ have any money, why don't you say
so right out, like a mani FIX.
The principal of the school was
I taking with him about his boy. by
/ the way, Mr. Wlpedunks," he said: Il
/ have made a discovery about Jerry
He's ambidextrous' Il don't see how
that can be-" replied Mr. Wlpedunks.
with rising Indignation; he haint
never been exposed to It, Besides. he
was yaccinated last year. we bathe
/ him reg lar every week, aud his mother
,I,-,,-s tnat-as him ys.aar q, tft4I, 49,