Bonners Ferry herald. [volume] (Bonners Ferry, Idaho) 1904-current, 1905-08-26
c O O D
Short Stories

A Chicago girl says that while In
Boston she was out yachting, when
Thomas Lawson, enjoying the same
sport, passed within hail. She was
dared to show her Chicago nerve by
speaking to him. Not to be backed
down, she called out, Hello, Copper"
Quick as a fash came the answer from
Lawson: Hello, Brass"
Rufus Choate once tried to get a
Boston witness to give his idea of abb
sent-mindedness. "Well." said the
witness, who was a typical New Eng
land Yankee, 81 should say that man
who thought he'd left his watch to
hum, and took it out'n his pocket to
see II he'd time to go hum and get 1t,
was a leetle absent-minded."
woman without parallel for COM
mercial wit entered large department
store in New York City to buy a yard
of silk, which the clerk told her would
cost her 20 cents. Her purchase left
a remnant of one and one-half yards.
The clerk suggested that she buy the
remnant. what will you take for itf''
asked the woman. FIFTY cents, ma
DAM" replied the clerk politely. well.
I'll take It, but you can keep the yard
you've just torn off," The clerk was
staggered for a moment, but appreciat-
ing the humor OF the proposal, made
the exchange.
At the opening day of a Vancouver
kindergarten, little Billie had worn OUT
the teachers patience. and. being OF
the old school, she administered the
time-honored remedy for naughtiness.
AS fate would have it, Billie belonged
to the elect. His mother was a MEM
Der of the school board, and forthwith
bore down upon the school teacher.
Her tones were ley. Miss Harring-
ton, l wish some Information on this
outrageous proceeding. Kindly tell me
just what end you had In view In pun
lshing my SON." Mrs. Grant," was
the reply, 81 had the same end In
view that anybody would have In
spanking little boy"
A husband came home one evening
to find a note left for him by his
wife. Carelessly he opened 1t. but as
he read his face blanched. my God!
he exclaimed, chow could this have
happened so suddenly? And. snatch
ing his hat and coat, he rushed to hos
pital which was near his home. IL
want to see my wife, Mrs. Brown, at
once" he said to the head nurse, "be-
fore she goes under the ether. Pleas Sc
take my message to her at once"
Mrs. Brown" echoed the nurse;
there Is no Mrs. Brown here" Then
to which hospital has she gone?" asked
the distracted husband; II found this
note from her when came home" and
he handed the note to the nurse. who
read: Dear Husband-I have gone
to have my kimono cut out. BELLE"
About the middle of February, 1862,
while In winter quarters, General Nag
lee, of Pennsylvania, who was a strict
discipllnarian. was in command of the
First Brigade, OF which the Second
New Hampshire was a part. He
Thought the guard-house of the Second
Regiment altogether too comfortabl
quarters Tor prisoners, ana ordered
Colonel Marston, who later won fame
as a soldier, lawyer, and statesman, to
build a dungeon without so much as q
crack or opening anywhere, so that II
should be perfectly dark. The dun,
geon was built with four solid walls
and one day General Naglee came over
to inspect 1t. He was accompanied by
Colonel Marston. where is the en-.
trance" said the general. land how
do you get anybody into it2" "Oh,
said Colonel Marston, that is not my
lookout l simply obeyed your orders.