The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-23
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The Old stoly.-"But, papa, he says
he can't I've without me-" "Give us
new one; told that same story 10
your motherw
The Automobile Fright.-sidney-
Why don't you talk as we rider Rod
noy-Welll can't think with my
bair standing on end.
No Escape.-Bell Boy (outslde Of
room o5)-say, the gas is escaping in
tnere. Countryman Inside Of room
oo)-No. 1t amt; locked the door.
A Vaeuum.-A pupil in Lynn
(Mass) school was asked by his teacher
to give the definition OF a vacuum
Il can't just describe It," said he, 'but
l have It in my head"
Wanted a Circus.-The ChIld-Are
you the trained nurse mamma said
was comingi The Nurseries,. dear;
I'm the trained nurse. The Child-Lets
see some Of your tricks.
Those Foreigners.-Doctor latter
careful examination)-Som foreign
substance is lodged In your eye. Den
nis-Oi knowed utl Thot's what Oh
git f'r wurrukin' wild them Dagoesl
She Whistles.-An Irishman asked
Scotchman one day why a railway
engine was called she" Sandy re-
piled: Perhaps It's on account of the
horrible noise it makes when it tries
to whistle"
There She Blowsr'-On the voyage
school Of whales was sighted, and
the millionaire plumber rubbed bis
lands In ecstasy. "uny is he &C
happyT asked a passenger. Because,
whispered the captain, "he imagine.
each spout is a bursted water-pipe, t
be repaired at regular rates"
J What He Hurt--A well-knowI
judge fell down a flight Of stairs, re
, cording his passage by a bump NJ
e. cry step until he reached the bot
tom A servant ran to his assistance
and, raising him up, said: 81 hop
! your honor is not hurt?" NO" sal
the Judge, sternly, my honor is no
burt, but my head Is"
, Not wonderfull-He pointed out to
newly arrived Paddy the grandeur O
tho Niagara, with the words, There
? nowI Isn't 1t wonderful" "Wonthel
fulr replied Pat; whats wontherfuli
why, to see all that water com
: laundering over those rocksI" &C
I can't see anything wonderful in tbs
T what is there to hinder II from con
y Ing overr
Goals to .-Wife-What
9 meant John, by the phrase, 'carryin
d Goals to Newcastler Husband-It
a metaphor, my dear, showing the d
I ing OF something that is unnecessar
o Wife, don't exactly understand. Civ
l. me an illustration-a familiar on
Husband-Well, II were to bring yC
home a book entitled, How 20 Tall
that would be carrying Goals to Ne'
;. castle.
The Way out Of It.-When preachii
IN fer public charity, note was han
g. ed up to the clergyman, asking II
lie would be right for bankrupt to co
le tribute. Having answered that SUI
ID contribution would be robbery, {
lie speaker added: And, my brethren,
ID would most strongly advise you, W
1y are not insolvent, to contribute II
lg morning. since, If you are seen to pa
ry tue plate, your neighbors will be su
IT. to say, That's hel That's the bar
st ruptv"
He waited.-"Supposing you vi
OF here IN this comfortable seat by
n elevator while 1 match these two sa
Is pies Of ribbon" said Mrs. Mayf
ed sweetly to her husband, who had be
entrapped into going shopping W
" her. When she came back she 81
ID contritely: Have l kept you watt
&c. an unpardonably long time, you p'
ny dearf" "Oh, I haven't minded
IN he said. cheerfully. II just jumped
lrt a car and ran out to the league grouI
ice and saw most Of the ball game,
OF then I took a little spin In the pi
ter with Dorton in his new auto.
bis You match the samples" "One
the them. It's so provoking. I'll have
.er' come in again tomorrow, for they
sis- closing the store now"