davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27

engineers and conductors to be sober,
hut also upon the men who build the
trains. The man who drinks cannot
possibly have as clear a brain as he
would have If he Jeff liquor alone, and
should he allow a piece of defective ma
terial to be used in the construction Of
a car it might cause a serious wreck.
The man who. drinks is usually the
first to go when hands are to be laid OFF
in any large plant. Other things being
equal, he cannot do as good work as
the man who is always sober.
Never trust a man who gets drunk,
a weII-known politician once said. a
man who is not known as a prohibition
list: THE man who cannot control his
appetite and who win get drunk can
not be depended on
It IS not merely that the man who
drinks Injuries himself, but he is liable
to injure other people-the extent of the
injury depending on the responsibility
of his position. That is why people
who do not drink have right to say
something about whether others shall
use intoxicants.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27
JAYHA WKER JOTS

The colored people of Hiawatha are
trying to secure Booker T. Washing
ton for an address at the Emancipa-
ton day celebration
lola claims a gain of 2,4OO in the
last year. That's what comes Of hay
ing d census taker who lives up to
what is expected Of him.
The newspapers of northern and
central Kansas are now building a
trolley line from Abilene through Clay
Center and Washington to Fairbury,
Neb.
Another farmers telephone system
has just been completed in Smith
county. Northern and central Kansas
is rapidly becoming a network of tele-
phone wires.
The Blade asserts positively that the
lid is on tight in Concordia, and as
evidence it points to the fact that a
man it knows hunted in vain for two
hours the other night for a hole to
crawl in under the lid.
'"The people want to see Governor
Hoch make good, says the Brown
County World, which is edited by
Ewing Herbert. HE has said he in
tends to enforce all laws-let him do
it or give way to some one who can
and will" Well, how would it do for
him to begin on the poker players?
Here is a new one. The govern
ment has found it necessary to dis
continue the postofice at Dun, WI
son county, because no one can be
found who viii take it. The last
postmaster held the job for eighteen
years, but he finally insisaed on re-
signing. and no one else viii have the
jol~.
A story is floating around about a
swindIer who blew into a Lawrence
hotel and pretended to be SUFFERING
fl ON hunger and absolutely pennjless
The landlord allowed him to sit down
and eat a square meal. and when he
had finished he pulled his handker-
hjef from his pocket. II so doing a
twenty dollar bill accidentally fell oat.
The waiter seized it and turned it over
to the landlord In order to teach
the fellow a lesson the landlord
charged him Is cents for the meal.
keeping the bill and returning S19.25
in change. The landlord felt pretty
good about It until some time after
wards when he discovered that the
twenty was q counterfeit.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27
THE DANGER OF TT.

More and more the conviction is fore
ing itself upon the American public that
drinking is a bad thing not only from
a moral point of view. but from a bust
ness standpoint; and not only for the
person who INDUCES in it, but also for
those with whom he may be evenly re-
motely connected.
A few days ago the State Journal
published an interview with q man con-
nected with the government railway
mail service, who stated that the rail-
way mail clerks are particularly pleased
over the rule which forbids railway en-
pioyes from drinking intoxicants. Rail-
way mail clerks, more than any other
class perhaps, realize the danger which
comes from having drunken train op-
eratives. Not only is it incumbent upon
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27
GLOBE SIGHTS.
rFrom the Atchison Globe.1

FFrorn the AtchlSOn Globe.1
People never look less Ike angels
than when they get sick and threaten
A fat woman's tears are Just as sad
as thin ones, but some way they look
There is no greater fallacy in the
world than that sense comes Win ase
or experience.
when a boy helps his mother with
the dishes. how do the other boys ma
it out?
think a. great deal of even those lley
ana rreled with when they were young
When. radishes get too big to be eaten
with one bite, that is nature sigma
that they are getting too Dig 70 eat
They say Panama hat will last sew
eral Years. But you don't care lot
them after the second year. they look
so tough.
An Atchison man took off his hat to-
dav looked at it, and said: must
have been drunk when piekeu Oue
The lovely character who tells a man MAJ.
that many people ind fault with ms
profession but she does not hFes III
Atchison. .-s-,,
II don't ask you to like my friends,
said an Atchison woman TO a IRENE
today. but for goodness sake ooh
praise my enemies"
Try fixing UP your yard this sum
uaer if you never did before. There IS
lots of amusement in replacing weeds
with flowers.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27
Sassafras Tea.

Along about the same time. the boys
come home with ring Of mud around
their mouths, and exhaling breaths like
those which blow DER Ceylon's isle in
the hymn book. They bear a bundle of
roots, whose thick, pink hide mother
whites off with the butcher knife and
sets to steep. Put away the store tea
and coffee. Tonight as we drink the red
dish aromatic brew we return, not only
to our own young days, but to the
young days OF the nation when our
folks moved to the west IN covered
wagon; when Grandpap, only a little
boy then, about as big as Charley there,
got down the rifle and killed the bear
that had climbed into the hog pen; then
when they found old Cherry out in the
timber with her calf between her legs,
and two wolves lying where she had
horned them to death-we return to-
night to the high, heroic days of old,
when our forefathers conquered the
wilderness and our foremothers reared
the families that peopled it. This cup
of fragrant sassafras tonight in their
loving memory Earth, ret easy on
their Wondering bones!"-From The
Revolving Year" by Eugene Wood, in
the June McClure's.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27
JOURNAL ENTRIES

What's the use of our working so
hard to get a million, anyway? Some
body would start the story that it was
tainted, so we couldn't give it away.
That ocean yacht race is evidently
progressing about as fast as the White
Sox are climbing up the ladder this
week.
President Roosevelt in Washington
will start the chimes to playing
America" at the Portland exposition
by pressing a button. If we could
only play the graphophone in our
block at the same distance what a
comfort it would bel
The Chicago Board of Trade is
anxious to know who is long on May
corn, which is quite active. A Topeka
all the year around, but he isn't
monkeying with the Chicago Board of
Trade.
There is less sand in our sugar than
formerly. AS evidently we seem to be
buying the entire sand output in our
Strawberries.
Unless it is the Shanghai liar at the
other end of the telephone, Rojest-
vensky seems to have made more
than the required five yards since the
last down.
It looks as though our supply of
benevolent assimilation in the Philip
pines must be exhausted.
The J. Pierpont Morgan family
hangs on to its hired girl all right, but
they pay her $4,000 a year and cali
her the household secretary" That's
one way.
That cute little giggle that you hear
once in a while nowadays is
japan smiling because the car is go
ing to take personal direction of the
war.
A Boston man gives it out that milk
is dangerous if it contains more than
100000 bacteria. to the cubic cent?
meter. Count the bacteria in your
milk hereafteri
We learn that the city engineers
force spent Tuesday in mounting a
map. That must be almost as hard as
mounting a horse.
Secretary Dexter of the State Tenn
perance union has started on a tour of
the state-probably to see how many
towns are still as wet as ever.
For nervous prostratfon Rojestven-
sky should consult the advertising
columns Of the State Journal. He will
find a number OF excellent remedies
suggested there.
Thus far there has been no sympa-
thy strike for Bigamist Hoch anyway.
The weather bureau had the clear
weather signal displayed Wednesday
morning. The weather bureau is a
great humorist.
A few people are still suspicious
that President Roosevelt had his
fingers crossed when he said he
wouldn't be a candidate again.
Just because the railroads are high
ways of commerce, it does not follow
that all-emphasis on the "an"-rail-
road magnates are highwaymeu of
commerce.
What Nan Patterson needs worse
than anything else is a good editor to
blue-pencil some of her actions.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27
LEE NIENTAI. vARTATToNs.

Her manner was most chilly
W hen first of love I spoke.
She thought it rather silly
A foolish sort of joke,
With tears my eyes would glisten
That she was so unkind,
She said she would not listen
But then she changed her mind.
She was not slow in learning
The lore I tried to teach,
But oDdurate concerning
One favor I'd beseech.
She knew not labial bIisses.
She said that I would find
she drew the line at kisses
But then she changed her mind.
It rather made me tingle
hen she said she'd prefer
10 lead her own life single,
For I had singled her.
Inc question she would parry,
she W1lfully was blind;
she said she would not marry
But then she changed her mind.
She seems to be contented,
1 nope II VIII endure,
But still, I was prevented
From making that secure.
l trust that time will make me
A trifie more resigned;
She said that she would take me-
But then she changed her mind.
Chicago News
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR
CFrom the New York Press.1

tHlOAn LIE W"
It is lots easier to be smart than to
keep from being too darned smart.
A girl likes a modest man who is al
WAYS on the point of becoming bold
A man leaves wealth behind him in
an automobile; to overtake it he must
crawl after it on his hands and knees.
A woman has to be mighty pretty to
make you feel it would be a shame to
expect her to know how to have good
things to eat.
It makes a woman pretty excited to
think there might be a telegram for her
which the company would not deliver
just out Of meanness.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27
THOSE FAST MAIL EDITIONS.

Yesterday mornings Kansas City
fast mail newspapers contained the
same strike information that was given
the readers of the Journal fourteen
hours previous and conveyed the gen
eral impression that the strike at Chi
cago was settled. The utter vaIueIess-
ness of these early editions is shown
by the fact that the strikers had actu-
ally decided not to settle on the terms
pers. but the fast mail publications
could not get the information into
their blanket sheets, though it was
several hours old at the time they
went to press.-Lawrence Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27
AND n WORKFD.

An old negro preacher closed his
sermon with these impressive words:
II hat found it necessary, brethren.
on account OBJ de hard times and gen
eral depression in the money centers
and de scasity oh de proper circula-
ton mejum in connection wild dis
church, to introduce my new auto
matte colleckshun box. It is made so
dat a half dollar or quarter falls silent
into a plush cushion, a nickel will ring
a bell an a suspender button, gentle
men, will fab off a pistol! All will
now sing a hymn while the collection
proceeds. '-Troy Chief.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27
The Rector,s Parrot.

The rector of a Hampshire parish
possesses a most wonderful parrot.
Though the rector lives two miles
from the church. the bird invariably
accompanies him to the sacred build
ing. While the service is proceeding
the bird recognizes his masters voice,
and when he reads a lesson or preach
IS one can hear the bird outside chat
tering away. The parrot also joins in
the "Amens," and is evidently quite
couversant with all church service
routine. The service over, the parrot
screams with delight, circles about his
masters head. .perches on his shoulder
and finally accompanies him home.
The attachment of the master to the
bird is only equalled by the parrot
evident pride in and affection for its
uaaster.-Iondon Tit-Bits.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27
A WARNING-

Gentlemen contemplating a visit to
the Portland fair are warned not to take
their wives with them, if accustomed
to beating them, as the Oregon law now
provides the whipping post for that Of
tense. You can beat any other lady and
escape the lash, but for some reason
not explained, you are not allowed to
thump, kick or even bite your wife
without running the chance of getting
your hide tanned with the sheriff's
blacksnake.-Los Angeles Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27
THEIR CODE.

The men whom Lawson in his last
article accuses of defrauding the pub
lie by the old bogus subscription trick
have made no reply. probably for the
reason that they do not see anything
wrong or even reprehensible about
what they have done. According to
the code of high finance it is perfectly
legitimate to edo the other fellow
provided you do him hrst.-Iola Reg
lister.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27
'.PRTvATFn CAR LINES.

Car lines that carry goods from state
to state. that do the work Of common
carriers that make exclusive contracts
with the latter and charge what they
please, lines which aim at and establish
monopoly and place producers at their
mercy, are not private in any sound
sense of the term. Rate legislation and
control as to them must come. Chi
cago Record-HeraId.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27

"As earnest in his love of country as
Washington as farseeing as Jefferson,
as olrageous as Jackson and as much
opposed to human slavery in all forms
as Abraham Lincoln, he stands robust
in his integrity and sturdy in his de-
termination that there shall be a square
deal all around" This is Paul Nor
tons tribute to Theodore Roosevelt.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27

Score one for H II. Tucker of Cherry
vale A lawyer called at his house to
see about a disputed bill. The visitor
became angry and made use of profane
language in the presence of Mrs. Tucker.
Mr.. Tucker handed the lawyer one or
two just by way of reminding him that
he ought not to talk that way in the
presence of ladies. The lawyer rushed
Off and had MIR. Tucker hauled into
court for assault, but the court fined
the complainant for using profane
Laner1aea
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27
AND NOT ACCOUNTABLE.

It is only Justice to Frank Williams
of Clay Center, who is a possible can
didate for attorney general, to say that
he is really a very good lawyer, even
If he is a partner of the present at
torney. general. That partnership was
formed when Williams was young
Parsons Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27
HVMOR OF TIE Day

Bacon-yvher he was out camping did
your brother kill much2
Egbert-sure! He killed nearly every
Yonkers Statesman.
Observation-Disclosures, you saw the
conductor used insulting language. But
5.adyEI wanted to get OF at my corner.
Experimentation, well, knew he must
have had some cause.-The.
Owner Ito rider Of beaten horse,-r.m
not sure, old chap. that you quite timed
your finish to suit the old horse, don't you
Gentleman Jock-Dare say not. You see
ne finished two or three Aelds before 1 be-
gani-Punch.
That's foine wreat'." said Flannerv
at F1nnegan's funeral; II mean the wan
.'Yis,''' replied Cassidy. that means
You mean rest in peace
I mean wat say. He was bloUed IN
in quarry. Philadelphia Press
Mrs. Henderson-What made you resign
your position as secretary of the literary
Mrs. Catterson-why, I was so busy
taxing minutes that I couldn't hear the
gossiD--Ilife
Gracious, Elsiel' exclaimed the little
giTIs mother, why are you shouting in
6 6Tat h9 f fas5ion? Why can't you be
Hes got to be quiet. the way we're
playin'," replied Elsie. Hes papa com
Ing 5..s home late and I'm youl"-Philadelphi
How in tarnation did you get the pres
ldent to appoint you to such a high Of
with you?"
Ssh! When I went to the Inauguration
noTr9 owe our orphan asylum to take along
ana ~ tod TEDDY 1t was part of my family"
Chicago News.
George am going to speak to your
rather tonight, darling.
Ethels-But, George, he has had a bad at
George-In both feet2
Ethel-Why, yes.
George-All the better. then. He Won't
be able to hurt me.-JudEe-
Native-You ind it hard to understand
our language?
Foreigner-Yes. a girl just told me she
door games were going out.-New York
Pa" said little Willie. who had been
bump of destructiveness?"
..Wlhy1 5es,7- railroad collision, sup
pose "-Philadelphia Ledger.
The. Publisher-we will publish your
joke book If you are prepared to guaran-
The Humorist-Not me. I never could
enjoy jokes at my own expense.-Chicago
Mabell-Does your husband talk much
about his mothers cooking?
Martha (wearily)-Some: but not as much
as ne does about mine.-Brookiyn Life.
Mr. Jackson-Id like to be dat man
Hoeh whut dey say has erbout twenty
Mr. Johnsing-what' for?
Mr. Jackson-Why, t'ink er de washin'
News.
One day little FIossie was sent across
the street to get pair Of shoestrings.
-, How long do you want them?'' asked
AS long as they will last" replied the
small shopper.-Pittsburg Dispatch.
my husband said Mrs. OldcastIe. as
they were lettering in the elegant library,
has Just paid a fancy price for Dryden =
works"
Has he?" replied the hostess. II woe
der If them are the works Josiah thourfA
OF buyin'? What are they, soap or boiIer2''
Chicago Record-Herald.
King Solomon looked worried
What's the matter?' asked wife No Y
Matter enough, replied the venerabIe
sage. Here I've amassed all this forfIlne
and married all you wives and I've dona
lots of other things, but Lawson won't Be
born for hundred years, and there's no.
writing me I'D"
And the. old man in all his glory. coutin-
ued 70 look Worr1ed.-Cleyeland Plain
Dealer.
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27

Chicago" says a paper of that city
should try to accustom itself gradual
" to the idea of getting along without
a strike There's no need to worry
1T looks as though it will be some time
before Chicago is called upon to face
that ordeal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27

The attention OF the government
should be called to the Shunganunga,
and an appropriation to improve it for
navigation purposes should be secured
in the next river and harbor bill. The
Shunganunga is navigable all right if
you happen to be looking at the right
time.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27

When Secretary Shaw was asked in
Topeka if he viii be a presidential can
didate in 1908, he only winked his other
eye a wink can say a good deal some
times. The translation put upon this
one was. You bet, If there is an op-
portunitv."
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27
ALMOsT oBsOLETE.

With war between Russia and
Japan, tariff war a labor war in
Chicago. and a theatrical war, peace
and arbitration are in danger of be-
ing marked as obsolete words in the
new ionaries.-Winfeld Courier.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27
A WARNING.

doing the right thing every time a
grave public question comes up. his
torians will be compelled to record
him as the greatest American. Tren-
ton RepubHcan-Trib
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27

Cyclones and defalcations are be-
coming too frequent for the safety Of
life and property For this reason
cyclone cellars and state penitentiaries
are becoming more POPULAR exico
Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27
NOT GROWING WORSE.

The pessimist's view that the world
is growing worse received a. black eve
yesterday when August W. Machen
plead guilty to defrauding the gov
eminent and was sentenced to two
years in the penitentiary. Mr.. Machen
might have lied about 1t, and denied
his guilt, you know.-Salina Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27
IRIS PLAIN ENOUGH.

Congress can and perhaps will compel
the collection of Dingley duties in the
canal strip; but the government will
simply pay these duties to itself. It
could pass a law providing that none
but American materials and American
labor shall be used in the canal. but
we doubt il it will directly or deliberate
ly put an extra burden of perhaps one
or two hundred million dollars upon the
people. The object lesson of the cost
of the American tariff is made plain
enough by the commission action. Con
gress, we think. will hardly dare to
make it plainer-AIinneapol Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27
KANSAS cOMHENT


The determination Of Secretary Taft
20 purchase material for the Panama
canal where he can buy the cheapest
lnsures lola control of the cement,
prick and plaster contracts. Hurrah
TOT secretary Taft.-Iola Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27

Since a scientist announced that peo-
pie wearing gum shoes are never struck
by lightning, it is likely that lot of
Kansas politicians viii throw theirs
away and the gum shoe market will be
duh in the future.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27

One good result of the agitation in
the newspapers and magazines on the
subject Of private car lines is that more
railroads are putting on their own re-
frigerator cars and running them indie
pendent of the beef trust.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27
PERHAPS.

Don't you often find your heart full
of gratitude because you are not as
other men? 1t shouldn't puff you up
to any great extent. The devil may
feel the same way about you.-Os-
borne Farmer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27

Governor Herrick in accepting a re-
nomination from the Ohio Republicans
told some of the things he will recon-
mend to the next legislature. He must
think Ohio is likely to go Republican
gain
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27
HER EXCUSE

Pa Patterson is announced as in poor
health, which affords Nan an excuse, if
she needed one, for returning to the
footlights and. incidentally, renewing
her firtations with some other woman's
man.-St. Joseph Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27

Taking trip on a man Of war. off
the coast of China, seems to be far less
dangerous than riding on a lumber
wagon on Thirty-hfth street in Chi
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27

Wasn't it foxy the way the grand
and noble White Sox lured the other
clubs on during the first days of the
season." asks the Chicago News. May
be it was. but we hadn't noticed it es-
vacfa1I75
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27
ERON OTHER PENS


If we understand the proposition be-
foge the Presbyterians correctly, it is
that they might as we'll all go to heav-
en- together as to be struggling along
in squads.-Nebraska State Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27

Look out for eventualiues! We
don't know just what they are, but a
cablegram says that the Russian fleet
is assembling and the German fleet is
preparing for eventuaHties, so it is
well to be on our guard.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-27

It looks as though the Philadelphia
people made a big mistake in not in
GLIDING the aldermen when they were
PRAYING for Mayor Weaver.