Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-30

VI Glc SIiOWt anu mat clSpnoA1 oSNCN
just as human as could be, for he fai..
ly toadied to pa, like a society lehdes
that has given the cold shoulder To
some one that is as good or better than
they, or like an impudent ehiploye who
has insulted his employer and is afraid
Of losing his job. After that whenever
pa and | go around the elephants they
bow down to us, and | think could
take an iron hook and drive an ele-
plant anywhere.
There are all classes among the ami
mails in a menagerie the same as hui
man society. The lions are like the
leaders of society who are well born
and proud, but poor. They are always
invited everywhere, but never enter
tain, though they kick and find fault,
and ogle everybody, and look wise and
distinguished.
The sacred cattle are too good to
live and pose as the pious animals who
do not want to associate with the bad
animals and are constantly wearing an
air of Il am holier than any of you,"
but they will reach through the bars
of their cage and steal alfalfa from the
Yak and the mule deer, and if they
kick about it the sacred cattle look
hurt and act like it was part of their
duty to take up a collection, and they
below a sort of hymn to drown the
kicking.
Tho Iiefnront bind IF onotc in a
menagerie are the butters-in, or the
new rich, who get in the way of the
society leaders and try to Guido them
in society stunts, but they smell so
that the other animals are made sick
and the goats are only tolerated be-
cause animal society is afraid to of
fend them, for fear the leaders may
some time go into bankruptcy and the
goats will take their places and never
let them get a smell of the good things
of life.
The bears are the working people Of
the show, and the big grizzlies are the
walking delegates who control the
amalgamated association of working
bears, and the occupants of the othel
cages have got to cater to Unclt
Ephriam, the walking delegate, o.
be placed on the unfair list ant
slugged.
The hyenas and the jackals, and tn
wolves, represent the anarchists wit
are down on everybody in the show
who won't do a thing to help alon!
and won't allow any. other animal t.
do anything, and who seem to want t
burn and Stay, to carry a torch b.
night and poison by day, and wan
everything in the show to be chaos
Those animals are never so happy a.
when the wind and lightning strike tn
tent, and blow it down, and kill PEG
pie, and create a panic, and then thes
anarchists sing and laugh and enjo.
their peculiar kind of animal re
! ligion.
The hippopotamus is like the laz,
fat man that groans from force @
=, habit, sits down as though 1t was tn
:, last act of his life and only gets u
when the bell rings for meals, and h
sweats blood for fear he will lose hi
i, meal ticket and starve to death.
The zebras and giraffes are til
dudes of the show, and you can imag
q inc, if they were human, they woul
n play tennis and golf, drive four i
hands and pose to be admired, Will
a the Royal Bengal tigers, if they wer
bo1f human 1unu16 1riua ontnnnhi1o
t at the rate of a mile a minute o
q crowded streets, run over people an
" never stop to help the wounded, br
skip away with a sheer, as much as t
d say: What are you going to d
e about it."
The seals are the clean-cut Baptist
of the show, who believe in imme,
@ sion, and they have more brain tina
any animals in the show, because the
q live on a fish diet, though they have
= pneumonia cough that makes you fe
like sending for a doctor.
g Gee, but last night when we though
O spring had come and we could sta.
on the road pretty soon, the snow fe
d about a foot deep, and it was SO col
Le that all the animals howled all nigh
@ and shivered, and went on a reguls
d strike. We had to put blankets c
% them, and no one of them seemed
1t be comfortable except the polar bear
l. the arctic foxes and the fat woma
y The other owners of the show thougl
h it was a good time to take the be
constructor and pull an liberated toot
- cause he was sort of dumpish, SO ]
and | helped hold the snake, which
about 20 feet long.
Pa was up near the snakes hea
and when the man with the forcel
got hold of the tooth and gave it
yank, the c~onfounded snake come
and began to stand on his head al
thrash around, and pa dropped b
hold and started to climb the cent
pole, but he got caught in a gasolil
torch, and they had to turn a hose {
pa, and he was awful scared, cause
always did hate snakes, but they ga
the snake chloroform and got hi
quiet, and pa came down, and tn
Al gave him a pair of baggy trousers b
longing to the clown, to go to dim
in, and pa was a sight.
Overconfidence.
1t is a dangerous point in any man
career when he feels sure of his positit