Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-12-31
new YEAR IN ARN|M
The Cow Gentlemen Turn
Over Some Leaves,
BUT THEY DIDN'T STICK
BALDY IKE's FRIEND AND HIS
THIRST.
Snake Bites Closed Strong at One
Eighty-Five, and Everybody
Was Bit.


uing this here Yuetide conversation" he
remarked, I'm reminded that the water
wagon amt going to be none populous
down In Arnin this year. There won't be
any of the boys fighting for seats up front,
prominent and elevated, when the wagon
hits the trail on the LIST of January, and
it's plumb natural l amt aiming to dis
course none continuous and entertaining.
but am frank 10 say it was too expensive
The boys couldn't stand it,
"Of course, I'm realizing that this line of
conversation sounds plumb friily and I'M
usual but I'm backing it real convincing
just the same. The thing come about this
way. Swearing off amt much in our line
down in Arnim; and the fact is, speaking
plumb grave and meaning, that we didn't
none of us hear about this here custom which
is some regular elsewhere. until about this
stage of the game last year. And we
wouldn't have heard about it then except
for Badly Ike, which had a friend come
visit him from the other side of the Grande
the same not being a plumb high recon-
mendation. We've known Badly ever since
he come to our parts, which done sud
den and hasty on horse for reasons which
amt been mentioned, and he's q sure
So we took his friend into our bosoms and
warmed him up with red-eye and affection
and such, the same being considered friend
ly and usual In Arnim, and things went
along fine till it come around after Christ
mas.
Baldy's Friend Appears.
m mentioning now, casual and passing,
that this here person which was Baldy's
friend wasn't by rights a cow-gentleman.
he could stay on a horse which was some
lnfirm, but he couldn't chuck the rope and
his hardware was plumb rusty from mod
esty. But he had one OF them shifty looks
in his eyes, and his mind was some active
and calculating. And there was one other
thing which 1 amt mentioned about this
person which was Baldy's friend, the same
being that he was some thirsty. I amt
Dragging none immodest and pronounced,
but I've seen those which could liquor con-
tinuous and regular, and / amt ever view
ed anything like this Baldy's friend person.
He was as plumb dry as a covered bridge
and when he got near the booze counter
he'd just snort a couple of times and go
tapping up red-eye like shipped steer
three days overdue. Which m mentioning
because it started the trouble About the
time Christmas drifted by this person which
was Baldy's friend was some frenzied He
got jumpy and peevish, and when you
spoke to him sudden he started to sweating
like an outlaw cayuse. So a couple of DAYS
before New Year. him having tapered off
some, he gets us all together in Sans place
and starts to talking.
We knowed by that time he could con-
verse some, but we hadn't realized the
worst of it. Gentlemen, he was A talker.
Gentlemen he u as persuasive. He tells US
all about this here New Year custom
Boys he says, am talking to bunch
of cow-gentlemen or am addressing a
herd of short horns? There amt no two
ways about it. It's got to be done Do
you want people to be saying that this here
Arnim place amt civilized? Do you want
everybody this side of the river to be point
a and
marking, pointed and sneering, that the
real ways of doing things amt known?
Boys, the water wagon is going by here
New Year eve, and I'm aiming to drive
You know me. I'm so full of red-eye I'm
afraid to smoke for fear I'll light up inside,
and every time ] sweat you'd think some
body tapped barrel. But 1 amt never
missed this swearing-off proposition vet
and 1 amt going to. 1t amt proper
Rip Van Wrinkle Method.
'Then Jim Hicks of the Lazy speaks
up and says, anxious and inquiring, I'm
plumb agreeable to doing things right and
I'll climb But suppose Should be took
sick. Suppose l should feel real fainty
and expiring. Suppose 1 should get real
painful and agonized. l could take
drink then, couldn't Il?
well sir, this person, which was Baidy's
friend looks at Hicks and he SAYS, scornful
and disgusted Look here don't you re-
mark like that to me- If this here swear
on is done that-a-way there won't be any
health In this camp New Year And 50
I'm suggesting that the only way to fix
1t, is to arrange right here, plumb solemn
and agreed, that nary man takes a drink
after New Year eve unless he's bit by a
snake, them being peculiar circumstances |
Gentlemen the boys didn't like It, Cen
tlemen but they fretted! But this person
which was Baldy's friend. he talked and |
nnaily they came around. And having come
Il ntx m
friend, he knew they'd stick And for some |
reason he grinned, amiable and general, |
ana started In on the red-eye again.
>, Gentiemen. there was celebration! Cen |
tiemen, but there was liquor consumed! All |
the boys which had sworn off from New
I ear aimed TO stock UP in the three days
And I'm frank to say they come near do |
the wind-up. was
MIR. Sanger replenished his glass. emntied |
it, rolled another cigarette and resumed |
m skipping them next morning details |
because they're some sad. They was ali on
the water wagon. and this person, which
was Baldy's friend. he was driving Cen
tlemen, but they was irritatedI Gentle |
men. but they was peevish! Gentlemen,
in SANS place, silent and mournful. and
Sam, which was the barkeep. he fineereI |
his hardware and looked some dangerous
az TINS tod person which was Badys friend
GREATNESS when any noise was made. and |
they all sweated free and continuous sitting
STILL Finally Jim Hicks, which was the
worst, ne rose up sudden and accidental, |
and he says, Jumpy and hasty: WHAT'S |
this here circumstance by which a drink
can be took?
Badly Was Sad.
Not unless a snake bites YOU saws
Badly. looking sad and reproaohful at this |
person which Is his friend
Then, says Jim Hicks. It's all off. |
There amt a RATHER within fifty miles of |
Arnim. and couldn't sit no cayuse this /
morning long enough to get to one. I'm |
going to plumb die In minute ana I'd |
give fifty dollars IL snake was to rise uo |
now and bite me on the Leg
yAnd then this here person. which was |
Raldy's friend, he leans over on the table |
ind begins to cry. 'Shucks,' he eays be- |
tween sntffies. I ain't got any license to !
live. Here my tender heart Is Just pinlng |