The De Soto County news. [volume] (Arcadia, Fla.) 1898-1924, 1905-11-17


LICKED.
in my pocket-my grasshoppcr in a bot
tie and ready to lick any other inseck
in Oklahoma-a new stock Of the allie.
viator-tlntypes to be taken at 10 cents
a take, with a clear profit of cents
apiece on every one-with all this
wealth surroundin' me and a clear CON
science Struggled up behind my vest,
was it any wonder that l had no room
to envy a st. Louis alderman and his
boSdle?
l was hummln' the air of a tune and
feelin' that 1t was good TO be alive,
when / met an oldish man on the high.
way. He had the gray locks and the
long beard of dignity, and suspected
him OF bein' a Teller pilgrim long be-
fore l pulled IN my boss and gave him
proper salutation. When he had pass
cd the time of day he informed me
that his mission on this airth was to go
around bulldln' asyums for such chill
dren as had lost their lovin' parents
by snake bites or other causes and that
now and then he paused in his travels
to speak a few words Of consolashun
to the downtrodden and discouraged
In return told him that my special
line was selling the greatest pain allie
yiatOr ever discovered by mortal man
and indltln' my Teller man to new aims
and ambishuns, and we each took a
moderate swlg from flask 1 carry for
use on such occasions only. When we
have patted each other ON the back for
few minlts, as its proper on such
an Occashun, the old man wipes Off his
mouth with the back Of his hand and
sweetly says:
"Mebbe we might do bit o. business
together for the benefit of the orphans
who are roamin' around with tears in
their eyes and calm for their fathers
and mothers in valnT
"If we can it is n solemn duty we
owe to ourselves" says l In reply.
II, too, have an inseck in bottle"
he goes on as he produces a great big
tumblebug imprisoned in pint bottle
which had once held that which cheers
and inebrlates. ~ amt braggin' about
this lnseck, because he had lost leg
when | found him and has passed
through many trials and trbulashuns,
but for the sake of the roamin' orphans
| might bet you $40 even up that he
can make your grasshopper weary OF
this mad life in about five mlnlts."
The bug was twice the size of my
hopper, and it seemed like urgin' my
inseck ON to certain defeat, but could
not go back on my record II this bug
won 1t would be $50 toward a new or
phan asylum; If my hopper won It
would be the same amount to hand to
some struggin' wilder woman and
tell her to continue TO struggle on. Our
Teller men were TO benefit, no matter
which way the scrap turned out, and
was not long In maxim up my mind
l descended from my wagon and
spread a blanket on the grass, and the
respective and respectable lnsecks was
poured out Of their bottles before each
others noses. The fight was ON at
once. Although his bug was the big
gest, my hopper was the spriest and
for FIVE mlnlts 1t was anybody's fight.
Then virtue began 20 triumph that Is,
my hopper secured a leg hold and
Topped the bug over on his back, and
that was the beglnnin' Of the end A
few terrific but vain struggles. and the
bug was a licked inseck. He was not
MORALLY injured, bus he would tght
mo more for weeks 20 come.
Il believe / take the stakes" says /
as restores my hopper TO the bottle.
mot muchw shouts the old man as
be jumps up. "You punched my bug in
the eye with your finse .yaen I wasn't
lookinr'
had to gently and persuaslvely can
him a liar, aud IN npother mint we
was strugelm' &c ictory. The cause
OF virtue and int ,,it was mine, and,
assisted by right hand swing on the