The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-02-26
THROUGH THE WEEK

If Washington SHOULD come to town I
did ii sot'
And as ne strolIed along the way. won
To be informed, IN all good faith. by
some old phonograph,
Mr.. DooIe.. Mr.. Dooley.
Was the greatest man the country ever
Diplomatic and democratic.
Mr.. Dooley, ooley. ooley, co."
And It came to pass that the company
said Let there be light" And there
was light. But stia darkness covered the
lace of the earth; gross darkness the
minds of the people. And it came to pass
pie could not see wherefore the bills were
SO heavy. And they could not make light
% the matter. so therefore did they light
out for a solution of the puzzle When
Moses stepped forth 10 lead them from
the wilderness. he was hailed by the
for, said the fair maiden. IF daddy does
not pay so much for lights there is more
torthcomlng to my marriage portion
Also. said the older heads. we should be
thankful for a brief respite. If later
trouble comes with Moses. we are con
tent that our children shall settle IL
The legislators and the patients of the
mental hospital gazed at each other with
IN the governors voice and doubt in his
heart. Yes. yes. he said. I'VE are only
detained for the day but. judging by the
way VIC are going
Here Joseph pulled his coat tail.
Oh! orators Of grave degree.
OF more or less IOduaCity
How very splendid it would be
S1his is, of course. twixt YOU and me,
Not to be gossiped commonly,
What favor 70 humanity.
II you could thoughtfuily agree
TO sacrifice yourselves as he
Did-LaWrence-man of steel
EOrerunner of the public veal
What is a washigton's Birthday
why. his fate was that he was born
on that day.
What did you think of the tenor?''
asked the music lover as he stepped into
the aisle. His fair companion answered
Il thought he was bow-legged'
When headlines tell you Of certain
man that his whereabouts are not
known you begin to think that after
al. there is such thing as newspaper
With all due respect to Father Hag
orty. let us hope that when the bod car
Tler does appear in silk hat and frock
coat. that his fellow workman. the in
feriOr animal" will not have reached
superiority that will cause him to forget
10 throw rocks at the hat. The only
thing the matter with the world is that
people are aiming for places they are
the niche they are meant for we'll and
hOnorably. On Fifth avenue New York.
one sees many Biddies in squirrel skins.
The richness of the garb makes the
comic valentine faces above them more
absurd than they ever could have been
above a tidy dress and a clean white
apron. An OK is out of place in a panSy
bed. though he is infinitely more useful
than a million of those dainty flowers. If
foreign dregs were kept out of our coun-
try. and Ia Dor leaders carefully chlorO-
formed so that employees and worl<men
could have time to unite for mutual pro-
lection against the few-the really few
capitalists who smash their neighbOrs.
the millennium would come. There is no
place IN the world where labor IS so re-
spectacle. or has such advantages as il
has in America. Why else the influx of
the Tabhle that is steadily mixing with
the foreign born on our soil. and per-
verting the more illiteTate natives? La
Dor is sure of its pay-so much money for
so many hours work-a mere moving of
muscles. no brain unstrung. no nerves
unbalanced no worry that the money
whom the laborer. unthinking, duhs
capitalist is lying awake nights and
going without meals. year in and year
cut. working, planning. hoping. despair
ing for the thing into which he has
poured spirit and matter. life. health.
home child and wife. The unthinking
laborer. stirred by the silly fireworks of
ident of the bank in which he slows his
earnings is Wall street. When will the
laberiRg people as class have better
state truthfully that employers might
occasionally be treated fairly by their
men?
I have thought it and thought it again.
I have thought il and thought it. and
I go thinking and thinking in vain,
Now what is heavy light bill?