Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1905-04-05

rates or local advertising than if our
list ere considerably smaller and
paid up. II is not often that the home
patron of our advertising columns
concerns himself about circulation.
The foreign advertiser does But tell
him that you have a list of 500 or a
/ 1000 every man paid up in advance,
and his advertising contract will fol-
low. Even an advertising agent will
admit the force of your argument.
Quality ought to count for more than
quantity as applied to a subscription
list.
The great magazines and city dailies
do not practice a catch-aS-catch-can
policy in handling subscriptions. See
the splendid lists built up by the met
ropolitan periodicals, and every dol
lar paid in advance The Ladies' Home
Journal for this month, 1,250,000. The
parton of the city daily or magazine
does not expect his subscription to
begin until .ie has paid the subscrip-
tion price, and h knows it win end
when the subscription period has ex-
pirei. Why dAes he deal differently
with his local paper, and why does his
local paper deal differently with him?
The principle involved is exactly the
same. only an a smaller scale Let us
learn the lesson that our metropolitan
brethren have mastered so we'll
have sometimes thought that it
would be a good thing if. by some in.
serutibe perversion of natures laws, a
country newspaper man might be per-
mitted OF live two lives-one in learn
ing how to take care of his subscrip-
ton list, and the other in taking care
Of it.
Apropos of delinquent subscriptions,
have committed the grevious sin of
dropping into rhyme. My wife says
that if spring it upon the Press asso-
citation she is sure a dreadful fatality
will result. She makes but one re.
quest-namely: that you will not mu-
tiiate the remains. | offer no apology,
except, perhaps, the one plea. that "A
little nonsense now ani then is rel
ished by the wisest men"
The alleged poem runs thusly:
AS the pearly gates swung open wide,
An editor. transported tried to slip in.
side.
But St. Peter protested: STAND fast
from where?"
And the frightened scribe stood trem-
bling there.
From earth, good saint, rad only an
editor,
But left behind not one anXicas cred
itor.
Guilty albeit of some sinful! thi~ys ="
Enough" said Pete, pick out your
wings"
The editor took the proffered seat,
A glittering throne on shimmering
street.
Surveying the fields with glances
sharp,
As he twanged and twanged on his
ivory harp.
Quoth he to Peter: I'm charmed with
this,
But ere ensconsed in this realm of
bliss,
Give me one heat at a faster pace
Say. can't I have a peep at the other
place."
ALAS" groaned the angel, such
wicked precocjty--
Old Satan and practice not reciproc-
ity:
Though your bold audacity doth me
quite overwhalm,
I'll ask the old CHAP if he bars the
press from his realm"
Hello" called the saint through an
amethyst phone.
Il have here a wild editor, afraid and
alone.
Who ESSAYS to explore your abYss of
fire
Was the message flashed down on the
golden wire
He says we may come" and the an
gel smiled
DOWN" he exclaimed in sweet &C
cents mild,
And the elevator shot with speed au-
tomato
To the one precinct We know of that is
sure democratic.
Through birthstone fumes and sui
phuric murk
Until the cage stopped with a spiteful
jerk.
They whizzed down the shaft at
frightful rate,
And stood. finally. transixed at the as
bestos gate
ON their sizzling hing es the great
doors creaked,
And ten thousand demons their vel
come shrieked
AS the portals few open for the guests
celestial,
Our editor gasped for some views more
terrestrial
Good friends" smirked the devil q
pray be at ease:
Mr.. Editor. walk in, write us up as you
please,
Your presence here doth my dominion
much 1atter--
Now. mind Mr.. Scribe. top of column
next pure reading matter"
AS he stumbled his way through the
flaming street,
Shiny. beady eyed serpents writhed
and Kissed at his feet
Huge vultures and buzzards famed his
brow with their pinions,
While yelped at his heels all hell and
its minious