The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31
HUMOR OF TIE DAY


smith Dust bae e. tie pictures are
meath them.-New York Sun.
to i his extravagant wife, you're carrying
toe much sail. my lady. -,,o,,,s .>..,...
aeG No said he fsP9 fhfnk should since
I have to raise the wind. Philadelphia
Standard.
1t is always a noble thing to defend the
truth but t really doesn't ,t pay e ezss
don't know the difference.-Puck-
"Dr. Highprice. do YOU take OF any,
YES, madam, anything. What did you
wish taken off, your finger or your earTt
Town Topics.
did you examine the house, SIR" asked
Yes replied Kanstick. returning thu
keys;
MY dear SIR. there couldn't be such ?
that that house BUS p'' HRh Mad Td Ledger.
did you enjoy yourself at the party.
Bessie2 asked her mamma.
mamma replied the little girl. II there
wouldn't lave enjoyed myself at ALL
YonkeTs Statesman.
Barber am trying new kind Of i'm.
ported soap; don't you think the odor IL
Customer-Fine, The favor is good. toos
Milwaukee, Sentinel.
| Clerk-Let me show you our. latest ma
/ chimes. We have an automobile now that
can climb any hill on earth.
| Chauffeur-That's nothing. The last ons
you sold me tried to climb tree.-Chieago
| News.
/ CT iV1n kai& aAfl-
Inhahitant-Am what?
Inhabitant Wif ed airing on the scene,
Amt We got no sense. Rube7 He means
wuz We born before We begin Twin hers7-
| HaFper's Weekly.
| 81 tell you," said sinnick. "rnen are get
| ting SO deceitful these days that you can't
| trust your best friend
friend to trust you."-Philadelphia Press.
do you keep fresh hsh?- asked the la
MOT if can help it, replied the viii
right a-way."-chicago News.
ist? . ''Se'- 'N'''s's'4' '''1 = 80
smearitt-The illustrator? No, he copies
everything. Couldn't draw his salary
without using tracing paper.-CleEeland
Leader.
Mother-Tm glad you're playing with
Tomny-Yes' m; they amt like the other
I Wanter.-PhiladeIphia Ledger
Kilson-Gsayierd's wife used to be aE-
fully stout, and now she is quite thin.
what caused the change I weTder9
Marlow-Divoree. This isn't the same
wife.-Town and Country.
Gomez cried the mother of the pesyish
little bun pup, you CANT mend uaatters
Maybe not" sniffed the little pup.
''Then," said his mother, IF not, whine
not. "-Philadelphia Ledger.
What is that woman's club aiming atF'
81 don't know"
| Il wonder how L can find cut"
Just lie low. and wait until you see
what it misses. Houston Post.
| you know Borena. don't you?''
oh. just well enough to say: How are
sSWel, don't do it,
| What do you mean?"
| Don't say how are your to him. II
&c he an a9d fe up foT f9 e.
| Press.
A. maxim for the harber.--Think twice
and then shave the man before speaking
once.-Puck.
Giobetrot-I say. old man, I've been
abroad for eight months and I'm rusty
fhg ss fE a esy thes aS ias
| Dedbroke-I am,-PittsbuTg Post.
The tyrant heard their prayer with a
black brow growing ever blacixer when
| they were done he exclaimed in a loud
s9 9e bach s eoner
nation. Hes a-settin' of his dogs on us!'
went up the fearful ery'-Puck.
Hamfatt-Is P. Jenkinson Trout menu
| Der of your troupe?
| Irvinbooth-de was.
| Hamfatt-Was? Wasn't he good ao-
Irvinbooth-No. He was a very had ac-
tor. He was acting as treasurer Of the
company and he went south with the re-
ceipts.-Cieveiand Leader.
?. Yes, !. said {oqne Mr. ci,sssy; II net
why so. dean boy?" asked Gussis.
YOU heab yn b he his he a sad STAG H a
faih!' philadelphia Press.
..It used to be impossible fer me to save
money when I was bachelor"
And now that you are married"
Il don't even try."-Cleveland Leader
Mother-I wish you would help me with
my sweeping, dear
Daughter-TIow can you be SO unreason-
able. ma? You know I'm late ss it is for
They were doing an art exhibit. Were
Il certainly was he replied.
What was the artist?''
He wasn't an artist; he was a broker,
Chicago News.
POINTED PARAGRApHa
GFrom the Chicago News1
Familiarity breeds contempt for mosuui-
What man has done woman thinks she
can do better.
Shortly after marriage a man acn,,iraa
the habit of listening
Fortunes wheel revoIves for the WAS
who puts his shoulder to it,
A long pedigree will not protect a dop
from the small boy with tin can.