Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1905-04-29

Patel your mother Ma calling
down-stairs9-Tel Bridget.
Fashionable-Fi First Lady-rm TAX
Ing four kinds of medicine. How many
are you taking? Second Lady--Oh,
medicines don't count. Operations are
all the go now. I've had three.
How 1t Is Done Josiah" said
Mrs, Chugwater, when one of the big
hattleShipS runs aground, now do they
get it OFF, They pull ii off with
tug OF war;" answered MIR. Chug-
water,
When asked by her teacher to de
scribe the backbone, a Norborne school
girl said: The backbone is something
that holds up the head and ribs and
keeps one from having legs clear up
TO the neck."--Ex
The Swallows" Home.-School
Teacher-What little boy can tell me
where the home of the swallow is?
Bobby kin, School Teacher Well,
Bobby? Bobby-The home of the
swallow is the stummlck.
Twins.-"Quite an interesting thing
happened at Nup0p's house last night"
There We're two interesting things"
Il only heard of one the arrival Of
son and heir What was the 9TH
er|' The arrival Of another son and
heir"
Trying to EXplaiu.--"Josiar," said
Mrs. CorntosSel, what is these negli-
jay shirts | see advertised in the bar
gain saleS| We'll they amt quite SO
prtm an scratchy as a billed shirt
that is to say, "A reg lar hard-bilcd
shirt | reckon a ueglijay is what you
might call a Autth'ilcd shirt
Good Fundamentally hit
a money-making thing at last II is
a church contribution box. Friend
What good is that3 Inventor-~It's a
triumph. The coins fall through slots
of different sizes, and halves, quarters
and dimes land on velvet, but the
niekeis and pennies drop ON Chinese
gong.
Lamb Renewed The proprietor of
German mcuagerie Keeps Gagged to-
gether a lion, IL tiger, wolf and a
lamb, which he labels THE Happy
Family" When asked conhdentially.
how long these animals had lived to-
gether, he answered; Ten months, but
the lamb has had to be renewed ocra-
sionally,"
Beats Them All-Slngleton Or.
Pellet is certainly the most absent
minded man l ever saw. Wcderly--ls
that so? Singleton--Yc he was mar
rled last week, and during the cere-
mony, VIXEN he should have placed a
ring on the brides finger, he actually
felt her pulse and asked her TO put out
her tongue.
lmperialism,-lt Happened at a
| meeting of club women, who were set
Ting various complicated information.
al. national and civic affairs with their
usual facility. no you believe III I'M
periallsmY asked the speaker. Mrs.
Srongmlnd rose instantly. 'ln the
| family" She said, II do" The APP
plause was deafenIng
Profitable Trce-"No, sir" said Or.
Mixture, Il would not have that tree
cut down for any money" But you
never get any fruit from ii" argued
Mr.. Brown; THE boys steal all the mp
pies from ii before they are half ripe
That's just it, replied the doctor
with benignant smile. that tree
brings me in clear 81 900 every
year"
Reciprocity. --"Thcse shoes, Doctor"
said the cobblcr, after brief exami-
nation. "ain't worth mendinE. Then
Of course said the doctor turning
away. Il don't want anything done to
them But ! charge you hfty cents
just the same" "What for wei,
sir. YOU charged me i've dollars the
other day for telling me there wasn't
anything the matter with me
sad looking Mani see son have
sign out, Maker Of Womcus Habits."
DO you mean tn Ladies' raiIor-Ccr-
tainly do Sad-loohing Man-Wril,
since MY wifp's been going to the club
she's lost an the good ones she bad,
and ! wish you'd make her a complete
new set regardless Of expense. And
please include the habit of staying ut
home once in while ana mrmlin2
my clothes
Always a Cltizcu.-Ho was very
fond Of travelling and took great de-
light IN louniug different cities which
We visited: hut in one respect he WAS
stanch John Bull no power on
earth could persuade him that when
he resided ia Florence. for example,
he could possibly be called foreigner.
NO. ma'am" he used 20 say, the
Italians are foreigners, but ! am an
Engiishman"
Uncle Gable addressing the crowd
g. No. sub, gentlemen. The men IN
my family are men. Don't none Of
ON write poetry as / know Of Young