The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-10

chicago news
HUMOR OF THE DAY
mule that recently S''' Kicked a lightning
flash to pieces''-scattering the fire all
around: A neighbor who lost a barn by
ages.-Atlanta Constitution.
waiter" said the man who was dining
in the saloon annex. bring me some
Some what?" gasped the waiter.
Water. Are you deaf?"
in the rear Folks that t tie eat here has the
ta aibiisee @'~c ;Ssl Leader.
What, woman would you strike q
man?" asked the husband, covering BE-
meath the uplifted hand.
No, on second thought, ! you'd not not.
before ali men in the neighborhood knew
all about It."-Cincinnati Commercial
Tribune.
mo use your going to see that man with
your wildcat scheme"
Hes too wise He has the recitation
of being one of the best judges Of human
HAS, Ell? That settles it. Judges Of
human nature are my meat Louisville
Courier-Journal.
Collector-That boss of yours must be
Private seeretary--No. he isn't What
makes YOU think so?
Collector-Because time is money, and
he never seems to have minute to spare
Detroit Free Press.
Simkins-Are you going 70 take your
family to the country this summer!
TirnklnS-No: we are going to remain at
home and enjoy all the pleasures of rural
life at half the cost
TiInkins-By putting few bricks in the
mattress, removing the fly screens from
canned caT meats anu and s vegetabies.~eRicago
News
hero commission for rewarding life savers
with nothing but brass medals.
still higher form of heroic spirit to openly
wear one of them.-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Remember" said the earnest citizen.
that the eyes of the public are upon
''That condition is provided for an
swered Senator Sorghum. In political
prestidigitation the hand-out must always
be quicker than the eyesight. Washing
! ton Star.
THAT last loaf you sold me lasted US for
| three meals"
..'NSiee and. plump, wasn't it7?z
no, ,t tough Ss
You can imagine how tough it was
grown-ups in our amily."-Cleveland
| Plain Dealer.
Saw. paw aueried little Johnny Peck,
why do you. wear whiskers? Haven't
Il guess not my son. replied Peck, Sr.
Your mother seems to have it all.-Chi-
| caao News.
| 5=
i've only noticed that he's forever run
Yes, and at the same time running
away from the people to whom he is in
debt. "-Philadelphia Ledger.
oracularly, lis a snare and deiusion.
Which may. account for the fact"
| are SO prone to hug their decisions. -
Cleveland eLader-
| "Bragley tells me he is doing wonder
| full work with his present employer. 1
didn't know he was particularly strong in
business"
| HE isn't. He's merely particularly
| strong in talking about business. ''-Phila-
| delphia Press.
''I spoke to your father last night"
"oh. Harry. this is so sudden! What
1.-THE same as I did-sHowdy do?' -
Houston Post
Two hearts were, trying to beat as one.
| I'm doing the best I can to keep up
are too fast.'7
my best to keep up with you, but you
are much toe slow"
Cupid, rs that you are so near you can
hear each other. Brooklyn Life.
Mr.. Observation-Disclosures another rea-
son for calling a ship she.
| Mrs. Crimsonbeak-Whati is it?
Because ships are SO often SPOKEN
Yonlxers Statesman.
The policeman was leading more or
less innocent bystander, whose feet APP
peared TO be badly tangled, away from
the scene of the disturbance.
What has knocked his hat all out of
SNAPPER asked somebody. HAS he been
hit with brick?,'
theTes bri eis inside his nat noH' Thats
an.'-Chicago Tribune.
''she introduced him as her cousin once
removed, didn't she?
.'Oh. no-as her husband once removed. -
July Smart Set.
He-Mrs. Blank is what I call a human
| She-what do you mean by that?
He-she shines by reflected light.
Sne-What of?
After the wedding breakfast had been
brides father sought the groom. you
know that $4,000 check that I placed
among the presents" Quoth he.
Yes. SIR
wei, wen just tear that uo.'
TIN sorry, SIR replied the groom
cheerfully, "but 1 stepped around to tbs
. bank a few moments ago and had IL
. | cashed. Louisville Courier-JournaI
Easy Fishing.
r Catching fish by hand is becoming a
great sport on the Auxvasse. the
, method is to feel under the roots of
: trees overhanging the water, undar old
logs, rock heaps, ETC.. until Mr.. Fish
| is located, when 1t is a comparatively