The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-04-27

out come the guard with q. run.
8 Wot's up?' SEE the sergeant of the
q Present arms!' SEE Nobby, to the
ad5utant's new baby e SEE. Lon
don Mail
HU8IoR or THE DAY.
sandy-A4ac must a been careful man,
for when he died he left half the toon.
Paf-Oh, that's nothin'. When Casey
died he left the earth!-Illustrated Bits.
Disguised Uncle-I shah leave my money
to the Door and needy
Nogood Nephew-Heaven bless you, IN
Gle; I always said you wouldn't leave me
out.-Tit-Btts-
An. actor thus makes love to pretty
girl in private life: Dearest, I love you
deyotedly I implore you TO listen to me.
prompter! '-Exchange
Gives Them No Chance.-''Uncle Russell
Sage certainly is q. clever old gentleman
He doesn't give any assemblage or
ton the cleanliness of his money. ''-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer,
Between.-First Little Girl-What! Don't
you speak to your father any more?
/ times He's too old to be any use and not
quite old enough to be chloroformed.-
The Refugee-Jean Vatican was living
| in the sewer. Mrs. Y. is cleaning house,
he tersely explained Herewith the, other
thought Of the scheme before.-New York
Sun
Nothing gives a womans religion such
a jolt as the suggestion that she got the
husband heaven really intended for her.
New York Press.
a Rare Occurrence.-FIe I got up
against a trolley accident coming home
/ this evenin@.
She-You don't sayl
He-Yes. got seat.-PhiladeIphia Led
ger.
Misery's love for company is seldom ar
dent unless the company is willing to as
sumo a listening attitude.-Puck.
There's no doubt about the old saying
about driving a horse to water"
Yes, and although man may drive a
pen, pencil must be lead. '-Philadelphia
| Ledger
Bobby; here's your penny and you must
! New Yorker.
Harker--what in the. world makes
| Sportleigh look so worried of later
Barker-Ee has either been gambling or
got married. really don't know which,
Chicago News
Cant I go out in the back yard and
play in the garden, mammal"
IL
and study your nature books. Life.
But It Didn,t-".why did you snatch the
lady's purse?" asked the judge.
Because, your honor. I thought the
prisoner.-Chicago Daily News.
Don't you know his moneys tainted?'
Yes, he made it by questionable meth
Il won't keep it,
No. III spend it.'-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Church Worker-Would you assist us.
good sir, to send missionary to the can
Mr. Gotrox-N5ot rnuch-I'm vegetarian
but III assist you to send them some
easily digested cereal.-Puck.
Inspector-Why was Elisha sorry when
the Summarizes son was dead?
Ingenious lad, who had just been devour-
ing Mr.. Pickwick-Because he didn't like
being left alone with a widow.
Inspector smiled. )-Schoolroom Humor.
a silk umbrella in your life, and there are
no less than three silk ones in your room,
for I saw them myself.
Bowser-I did not say that the other
folks never buy silk umbrellas-BOston
Transcript
MISUNDERSTANDING we were married
she used Ito, to say say .g96o goo so sweetiy
ELECTROMAGNETIC what does she say
Marmaduke-oh. just the same thing.
Montmorency-Ah. seei She exercises
a different spell over you.-Was hington
At its next meeting the Skunk Hollow
Debating club will discuss the question;
should Rockefeller Stealings be used for
church purposes?" The country will be
glad to learn that the vexed question is
tn he
He raised his rod and whipped the stream,
And then when he was through,
He might remark with perfect truth,
New York Sun.
Carl Cedernan has made complaint to
the police that he was inveigled into a
poker game by couple of bunko men
and after playing with them all night,
lost $40 1t is. of course. unlawful to
play poker in Portland, but sinful students
to indulge in speculation as to how long
so ought to last in a poker game. If two
separate one novice from $50 what show
would the average poker player stand in
single handed game with Mr.. Cedar
man Portland Oregonian.
W. K. Vanderbilt, jr.. has organized a
housekeeping company in New York It
you can wave your hand airily in the d.
rectiou of spick-and-span parlor and say:
Il had Mr.. Vanderbilt IN this year and 7
think he has done his work well Mime
apolis Journal.
She tat Lincoln parI)-Aren't those dear
He-No. They remind me too much Of
she3oh, YOU Shouldn't be so awfully
sensitive.-Detroit Tribune
to another San Juan Hill.-Florida Sun.