New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-10-06
MY DOCTOR

Ny doctor is merry soul,
I think Of little things he does.
And laugh for days and days
He takes slender c 2ointed. s stick
And pokes some cotton up my nose
And pulls it out my ear ,,4 d. o,oo,,
Then stands me near the elght-day CLOCK
To see If 1 can hear
My tongue he sezes with tongs
And sits upon my jaw,
Then jabS the handle OF spoon
Into my waiting NAV,
Or takes my tonsils in his hst
And sweetly says, Say Aw!
Attacks of blues 1 take to him
They turn to black and blues;
Thermometers fain must chew
He gives me dope so active that
1t filters out my shoes
Within one fearful. trusting eye
A crowbar he inserts.
And swiftly in the other
Tabasco sauce he squirts-
In tender tones,
Please tell me when it hurts
IF I admit in bashful tones
A certain sort of ILL.,
It's marvellous what he can do
With one wee little pill;
I swallowed one three weeks ago
The thing is busy stin.
dream he kneels upon my chest
When | am sleeping nights
He turns my liver inside out
And then blows out my lights
1t thus becomes too dark TO See
The other CHASTITY sights
NV doctor is n fearful man
| thank my lucky stars
That | ana still alive to go
And smoke his good cigars -(Puck
An Trfshnan who was VIGOROUSLY impecunious
has discovered new way achieve some of the
Iuxuriee Of life This is how he explains it: whist,
man don't say word about it. 7 found everybody
wanted 20 sell an auto for a good price to some
innocent so Just hung round the garage at every
hotel stopped at and pretended to be as green
as the Emerald isle, and gave out that wanted
10 get a secondhand machine, and would not go
70 dealer as I did not know anything about
machine and he might rob I have had forty
nine rides seventeen uncheons. five dinners ana
about forty cigars. good. bad and Indifferent hut
Gtvil Il machine have bought yet
Uncle Well. here's the money you've been both
erihg me o raI his money are easily parted
Nephew don't know about that we had to
coar Won for more than week for thsI-tAuswers
Carrie Nation has been slenced al last. but only
rau,norarilv conductor In Missouri accomplished
e She was riding in a in which there was a
drunken man She endured it for while but at
last she yelled the conductor. asking If he al
lowed drunken people to ride in the car. He said
he had no objection and she could stay as long as
she would be quiet
Taking Chances-A small boy had been punished.
ana in CONSEQUENCE was feeling enuity with all
the world. but with his father IN particular When
he came 10 say his pIayeTS az n nend ne san9ea
asking for the customary blessing on all the other
members of the family. including the cat. he left
oh Ills sI mother understood thought it to
aHarolS' she said sweetly what about papa?
You forgot, dear ,,.
WHY. Harold when YOU love MIN 50! Just
think dear papa has gone downtown now. and
how would YOU feel If he got lost or hurt because
you hadn't prayed for him.
This rather worked on the boys mind, and slowly
he I Began to Chamber out OF bed. when. Just he
got on his knees he heard the familiar click of hts
Fathers kew in She lock Il guess I'll risk it," he
announced and Gn,ck as wink jumped back into
bed ippincott's Magazine
An interesting series OF experiments 10 test the
military value of airships is about to be made by
the French. artillery. 1t may be promised that the
fact OF their value be taken as established up
to certain point to the satisfaction OF the French
military authorities since a permanent ''harbor''
for airships has been established in the artillery
quarter OF the garrison of Toul This harbor' will
be used as continual centre for STUDYING the ques-
ton as to what services can be obtained from air