The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1905-01-26
MEMS COLUMN
Men ought to know that:

sister much more rigidly than she
does an erring man.
The girl who can make her eyes
talk is the one that gets married first.
i. = +.
1t hurts little girls dignity worse
to get spanking than anything else,
but it is different with little boy.
If jury of women had tried Nan
Patterson they would have found her
guilty on general principles.
+ i. j.
The reason there are SO few women
machinists is because they can't hear
themselves talk when machinery is
whirring.
Scientists have been trying to
prove that married men live longer
than single men. Such is not the
case but life seems longer for married
men.
Any man can manage woman II
he knows how; the trouble is to find
out how.
-Lunatic asylums are full of pick
pockets who have gone crazy trying
to locate pockets in women's gowns.
j. + +
Right down in her heart woman
never thinks she has the best husband
in the world but most of them would
die before they would admit it to any
one else.
cit is carrier for camel to pass
through the eye of needle" than for
woman to pass a millinery store
without looking in at the window.
1t is much easier for woman to
forgive handsome man for wicked
ness than it is homely one an in
discretion.
If the men and women Of the
world were separated by wide,
swiftly flowing river, the deaths
among females by drowning would
be something frightful.
+ + +
Children, the same as athletes,
can be trained down to fine.
j. j. 4.
An old maid without male rela-
tive in the world will often buy a
pair of trousers at bargain sale.
Hand painted china is the most
valuable, but it is different with girls.
The best waist compressor in the
world is a coat sleeve filled with meat,
bone and muscle.
The principal reason that there
are so many thugs, thieves and
criminals in the world is because it is
very natural for boys to grow like
their fathers.
+ =. IL
If men did not waste any more
money on frivolties than women do,
poverty would soon disappear from
the earth.
Where one man has got into trouble
following the advice of his wife a
thousand have gone to ruin disregard
ing such counsel.
The best training school in the
world for girls is a home presided
over by Christian mother.
"A young man with a sweetheart
is not nearly as liable to travel the
road to perdition as the one without
one.
The most severe punishment that
is imposed on a woman criminal is
the fact that she can't talk during
her incarceration in prison.
+ i. +
When a man thinks he is manag-
ing his wife she is generally making
him do just as she wants him to.
i. !. j.
When pert men photographers
make fun of women's extravaganza
in buying Easter bonnets they don't
stop to think that the money men
spend for drinkables and smokables
in month would buy and pay for
all the bonnets in the world.
+ j. p
Women don't go to church to
show off their fine dresses, but they
are more regular in their attendance
when they possess smart gowns.
A Grim Tragedy
is daily enacted, in thousands of
homes as Death claims, in each one,
another victim of Consumption or
Pneumonia. But when Coughs and
O2lIo oro ,>ronorlv froofod tho fro Co1v