davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07
Colorado Elections.

From the Sylacauga Progress
A Colorado clergyman says the world
has only to more years to exist. lie Is
probably going on the theory that the
world cannot stand another Colorado
election, which is scheduled two years
banpp
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

Grover Cleveland put his foot into 1t
very badly when he aired his views on
Wcman's clubs He not only created tor
nado of female wrath which ended in
furious counter-attack, but the after rum
bles are still reaching his ears-reverber-
ating thunder-cfaps, as it were, of the
storm that spends itself slowly. Perhaps
Mr.. Cleveland retained his equanimity I'M
der the assault of Susan b. Anthony, and
it is believed he weathered all the filings
made at his Limited vision" his CHASED
opinions" and his "unfounded aeeusa-
tions,' but the club women nave taken
a new tack. Mrs. Sarah Plat Decker
whose name. by the way. is "corker''-
said at st. Louis that she had heard of
families that starved because the fathers
went fishing all the time. I'VE should
condemn fishing. Fishing is a terrible
thing This is in truth the most unkind-
est cut of all Such calumny of a sport
which has become peculiarly Cleveland
esque is enough to make every disciple
of Isaak Walton weep. The cruelty of this
stab at Mr. Cleveland is not mltigated by
the rather vague and unsatisfactory evil
dence adduced by Mrs. Sarah Platt Deck
er as to the evil tendencies of fishing.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07
Didn't Name 1t.

From the Montgomery Advertiser.
Not content with smashing most other
traditions they are now saying that
Yankee Doodle" is a Hessian air and
was brought over by them during the
revolution. Anyhow, they didn't name it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07
Cheap in Birmingham.

From the Hanceville Hustler.
The hghwayman in Birmingham never
says your money or your life" He just
wants the money. Life is too cheap
there for him.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07
Birminqham's Deficit.

From the Gadsden Journal.
birmingham has a new mayor and an
old deficit. Mayor Ward proposes to re-
move the deficit, but as this has become
pretty well fixed in the citys financial
affairs, its removal will liEei.' leave a
hole nevert heless.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07
Happy alladega.

From the Talladega Reporter.
lust as the south has accumulated plen-
tv money of its own, everybody wishes
to buy its bonds and to make 1t loans.
Talladega has long since learned to tote
its own skillet" and clip its own cou-
pons.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

IL city of Los Angeles, Cal. has just
paie 'rainmaker'' the sum of $1,000 be-
cause he says he is responsible for an I'M
usually abundant rainfall during the past
year. 1t Is expected that ther- will be an
immediate exodus of confidence men from
the east, bearing stocks of gold bricks,
shen games and such other parapherna-
liza as may be deemed necessary to separ-
ate towr full of good things" from
their money.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07
Observing DRY" Sundays.

From the Mobile Register
Glasgow. Scotland, and st. Louis, Mo-,
are enjoying dry Sundays, that are
distinguished chiefly by the fact that half
the population goes out of town and gets
beastly drunk in the suburbs.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

Jimy Britt is the lightweight champion.
but we are still short heavyweight
champion, and we may have to aecent
Frank Smith, who is confident he could
whip Jeffres, Jeffries may have seen
Frank looming up, and at once stepped
down and out.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07
Wouldn't Do.

From the Houston Post.
Rolling pin? Yes, sir; here's one made
of glass; the latest thing OUT
but good Lord, man, that thing would
probably break and cut my head all to
Diecesii
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

DR.. Osler promulgated q sane dictum
when he said that we ought to allow our
college professors time to think. OF
course there are a few college professors.
notably IN Chicago. who think too much.
but trfBe more leisure would not hurt
the class as a whole. That is what DIR.
Osler thinks about the matter, and after
he has reminded us, we can see very
clearly where he is right There is con-
sentative thinking which begets WISDOM
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

and there is cratic thinking which begets
page. sensations in the Sunday journals
What We need is more of the former and
less i The latter
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07
Big Cup.

From the Goodwater Enterprise.
Texas gave President Roosevelt a low
ing cup almost as large as tie majority
which it didn't give him at the last cleo
ton
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

George AIDE has returned from the
orient and promises that he will perpe-
trate no more comic opera. 1t remains to
be seen whether he will be able to keep
his promise.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

There are ten bankers in the Ohio state
penitentiary and clerical work there is
hard to get as mos of the easy jobs are
already taken. 1t is when the American
banker gets in jail that he becomes a
really useful citizen
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

ton of the people is involved, and the
people themselves In each county
should be willing to take primary
steps
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

A Corean boodler has been kicked out of
office He got a measly 100000.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

George B. cortelyou is up against the
100000 presidency of the Equitable He
has one advantage over all competitors
he can do his own stenographic work.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

These be the days of hustling. When
a pastor desires to organize a new church
he does not gather his flock in the wilder
ness and preach until the power of his
eloquence draws forth the shelSels. He in
serts an advertisement in the want coll
umn of a daily paper and waits for par
ishioners to look him up at his home adj
dress. An advertisement OF this charac-
ter has been appearing recently in
Memphis paper, wherein it is stated thar
a movement is on foot to organizes new
Cumberland Presbyterian church, and
those who are not affiliated with any
church are asked to send in their names
to a gentleman who appends his street
number. Replies are pouring in, and thus
again we see that lit pays to adver-
tise''
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

The girl striker has a deal of lawless-
ness stored about her person.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07
ALABAMA PRESS
Home Raised Material.

From the DeKalk Record.
The Muscovte soldiers are practicing
on home-raised material.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

Some men are so lazy that they hate
to think about going to heaven, for fear
that there won't be any self-playing
harps with mechanical attachment
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

1t is now Champion Britt of all the
worlds lightweight pugilists. If report
speaks true Britt is very good sort g"
something of an Improvement over the
"bruiser' and endowed with considerable
aplomb III society. He seems ambitious
to follow in the footsteps of Mr.. Corbett.
who, in the hey day of his fame was
Familiarity dubbed Gentleman Jim.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07
A FLOWER MooING.

A red rose leaned across the way
To a rose of creamy white;
While the sun sank down behind a hill
In the evenings fading light.
The red rose kissed the white rose,
Its petals softly pressing.
And whispered there a shy goodnight.
With it's perfume for blessing.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

The lemon pie of some restaurants is
made without lemon, butter or eggs. 1t
is compound of starch paste and coal
tar products. No dynamite in it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

The girl who wears Snake effect"
stockings is about as near the personifi-
cation of the high life" as any one could
find.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

The Mccormick family or rather the
farmers who bought reapers have en-
lowed a theological seminary in Chicago
to the extent of a million dollars
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

The theatregoing public know at last
that scenery. costumes and chorus girls
are not satisfactory substitute for good
acting or good singing.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

For the first time since the prohibition
law was enacated twenty -four years ago
II is to be enforced by Governor Hoch
of Kansas. Better late than never.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

Andrew Carnegie is still explaining that
some dukes are excellent men.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

President Roosevelt is billed to stop IN
Chicago, where he can study the labor
and-capital problem on the spot.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

Having taken postgraduate course
in Colorado, President Roosevelt Is to be
made Doctor of Sport" by the Inter-
national Congress of Sport. Theodore will
get an Olympic diploma.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

Bgelow's picture has been removed
from the group of former presidents who
directed the affairs of the First Nat
ional bank of Milwaukee. There is no
discounting the fact that Banker Blge-
low is down and out
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

The thirty Eight dummy directors of the
Equitable begin to think the time has
come to assert themselves.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

Valley Head prefers to receive its mail
matter unground, and its preference
seems to be reasonable
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

Washington Is elated over having a
winning team. That is enough to make
any town feel good.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

The New York Times says that Chicago
is now reaping the penalty of putting
soclalistic municipal ownership crank in
the mayors chair" 1t is easy to see that
the Times does not think well of Mayor
Dunno.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

Providence Baer wants a new lot OF
Americans. He probably proposes to
chloroform the present lot, putting Dr.
Osler in charge Of the job.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

Three hundred citizens of Franklin
county Mississippi have been indicted
for whlteeapping on evidence furnished
by sleuth employed by Governor yarda-
man. Mississippis executive is full of
surprises.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

Miss Mae Wood is madden than ever
before, because Secretary Loeb says he
never saw her
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07
DIDN'T HAVE AIY.

When he shuffled off this NOR al coil
Young Biffkins took great pains;
For though he shot his head to bits
He didn't harm his brains.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

Even the directors of the Equitable de-
sire to unload Jimmie Hyde, and his So
cial freaks.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

The Senate has in fifteen months lost
Hanna, Quay, Hoar, Bate, Hawley and
Plat.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

The beef trust continues to do business
al loss. and the foolkiller has not caught
jimmie Garfield.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

The bars and bobcats in Colorado are
beginning to WEI the smile that never
comes off
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

In order to avoid any further mistakes
the bank clerks in the First National
bank of Milwaukee will be photographed
and measured
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

Pat Grove proves to be real He has
come in claiming immunity for past lapses
from the law.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

The man who was welded in Ohio,
wanted In Indiana and detained In Ken
lucky certainly had his hands full.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

Far away to hills of blue
Her fancy lightly strayed;
Then she ehewed a tuft or two
and then she softly brayed.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

The Coal Barons should enlist few
Japs.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

A Pennsylvania man who was hanged
offered 5000 for a substitute. 1t is need
less to say that there were no applicants
for the ioh
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

Birds on bonnets In Missouri will be
exceedingly rare after June 6, when
new millinery law goes into effect.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER.
Little Johnny teased goat
What boots it to say more?
Despite the doctor and the nurse,
The boy is feeling sore.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07
SHE WENT uF.

SHE WENT UF.
Instead of using sticks of wood
The girl tried dynamite
And when the neighbors looked for her
She had passed out of sight.
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07
OH, CUPID!

''Will you be mine?' he softly said,
MY wife and not my sister,"
Fair Polly said she thought she would,
And as they clinehed he ldster.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

Scat, you pesky microbes!
Get out, you nasty germs,
These savants won't quit talking
Till everybody squirms.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07
IN ARIZONA.

IN ARIZONA.
There was a man in Tucson.
Who tried to put his shoes on.
They pinehed his toes,
Which added to his woes.
And then he had the blues on.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07
STEAL SOMETHING
= at FIRST you don't succeed
N this busy land.

Put your fiippers on a sad
And run to beat the band.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07
snEaSzsgaso
>ezaiHhHka

Entered a. the Birmingham. Ala, post
office as second-class matter under ACT
of Congress. March 5, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

Daily anu Sunda. Age Heraid......... .ss.W
Daily and Sunday, per month.......... 40
Sunday a e-Hersld, per annum. 2.oO
Weekly Age. herald, per anaum........ Loo
Subscription payable in advance.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

No communication will. be published
without its authors H. ne. Rejected
manuscripts will no. be retL. unless
stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

Washington Bureau Age Herald. 121 @
Street. N. w.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

L. H. Russ, NJ. w. Carlisle and w. f.
Jordan are the only authorize travelling
representatives of The Age-Herald In Its
circulation department.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

MAN died the other day who
claimed that he was born III
years ago, and had never touched
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-07

I FIRST blush the announcement
4 that Mr.. James ]. Jeffries, the
champion heavyweight exponent
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-03-09

the surpluS revenue available for the pay
ment OF THE debts. This treaty offers the
only method for preventing the collection
of fraudulent debts. whether owed to
tions
This treaty affords the most practicable
means OF obtaining payment for the Just
claims of American citizens
IL the treaty Is ratified. creditors be-
longing to other nations viii have exactly
as good treatment as creditors who are
citizens OF the United States and at the
same time Santo Domingo viii be pro-
tected against unjust and exorbitant
Claims II IL Is not ratified the chances
are that American creditors will fare i'll
as compared with those Of other nations:
for foreign nations. being denied the op-
portunity to get what Is rightfully due
their citizens under the proposed arrange
ment will be left TO collect the debts due
their citizens as they see fit. provided. OF
course. there Is not permanent occupancy
or Dominican territory.
Tell Good Debts From Bad
"As in case the United States will have
nothing to say as to what debts should
or should not be collected and as Santo
Domingo Will be left without aid. as
sistance or protection, 1t is impossible to
state that the sums collected from IL will
not be improper in amount In such
event whatever Is collected by means OF
forcible intervention will be applied TO the
creditors Of other nations in preference
10 creditors who are citizens of the United
States
The correspondence between the Secre-
tary OF state and the minister of Haiti
submitted TO the senate several DAYS ago
shows that our position is explicitly and
unreSerycdly that under no circumstances
do We intend to acquire territory In or
possession of either Haiti or Santo Do
mingo. IL being stated In these letters
that even IL the two republics desired to
become a part OF the United States the
United States would certainly refuse its
assent.
Santo Domingo grievously needs the aid
OF a powerful aud friendly nation. This
aid We are able and I trust that we are
willing to bestow She has asked for this
aid. and the expressions of friendship re-
peatedly sanctioned by the people and tho
government OF the United States warrant
her In believing that IL will not be with
held in the hour OF her need. a..
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-03-09

settled IL the city would disregard the
agreement and perfect its appeal from
the decision of the federal court.
If. as indicated by Mr.. O'Brien. the
city council. through its separate bod
les would pass a resolution instruct
ing the city attorney to perfect an ap-
peal in the case, the validity OF the
compromise agreement would be estab-
lished and the members of the council
who. through failure to appreciate the
comprehensive nature of the resolution,
would have an opportunity to place
themselves right before the public.
Another attorney, who did not wish
to be quoted, when asked by T h e
G o b e what remedy he would pro-
pose now that the agreement had been
accepted both by the city and the COM
pany, stated that he had not followed
the matter closely enough to hazard
an opinion. He said, however, that
there were a score OF provisions in the
charter requiring compliance with GER
tain conditions on the part of the street
railway company. upon failure of which
their franchise could be revoked. 1t
was suggested by him that IL the city
could not regain the valuable consider
ations squandered through the COM
promise, action could be taken to re-
woke the ordinance granting the cleo
trio franchise. in which case the COM
Opposition in South ST. Paul
Intense interest is being manifested
by the citizens of South st. Paul over
the proposition OF the street railway
company To build tracks into that VII
lage. and II seems likely that the crowd
which attends the public mass meeting
Tor the discussion of the question at
the city hall tonight will pack that
room to its capacity.
The feeling against the proposition
Is tourly growing in strength. and 1t
seems likely that a very decided oppo-
sition will be found to the project when
the meeting is held tonight. The prin-
cipal argument OF the opposition Is
considered good one. II is that the
streets are too narrow for the proper
admission OF street railway tracks and
that until some measure is possible
whereby the streets may be widened
the street railway is not only imprac-
ticabie. but impossible.
The question of issuing school bonds
VIII be taken up and discussed at the
meeting tonight. also.
The Saint Paul globe., 1905-03-09
catarrh and hax Eexer.

Liquid Cream Balm is becoming quite as
popular in many localities as Ely's Cream
Balm solid. 1t is prepared for use in
atomizers. and Is highly priced by those
who have been accustomed to call upon
physicians for such treatment. MANY
physicians are using and prescribing n
All the medicinal properties of the cele-
brated Cream Balm are contained In tbe
Liquid form. which is 75 cts. INCLUDING n
spraying tube All druggists, or by mail
Ely Brothers. 56 Warren St, New York
Messrs Ely Bros: sold your LIQUID
Cream Balm to Mr.. William Lamberton.
1le4 Deiachaise ST.. New Orleans; he
has used two bottles. giving him most
satisfactory results.
GEO. w. McDUFF. Pharmacist