The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-04-29
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>>-9@s~>4.
/: Humorous


iore l preach my sermon. why so:"
asked the vestryman. I'm going TO
preach on Economy"
Mira. Casey-An' PLAT did tn doc.
tnor say allied ye? Mr.. Casey-ADpen.
dlcits. Mrs. Casey-Och, worra, OIL
knew he'd say that II ye wore hot
new Sunday suit--Judge.
Papa-How did you yet your clothes
50 terribly torns Tommy-Tryin' to
Keep little boy from bein' licked.
Papa-Ah. a brave deed. Who was
the little boyl Tommy-Me.
Your snorted Miss Sharpe. marry
your Why. you're only an apology
for a man" But" protested Mr..
Small, you will not NO: I will
not accept the apology."-Philadelphla
Ledger.
1 fell over the bulwarks," sail the
sailor, and the shark came along and
grabbed me by the leg" And what
did you doT' Il let him have the leg.
l never dispute with a shark. CHI
cago Journal.
"As Shakespeare says" remarked
Cassidy, who was fond Of airing his
book larnin'" occasionally. whats in
nameY We'll" replied Casey. "caH
he wan that OF don't like an ON
show ye."-PhiladelphIa Fress.
We'll" snapped Saint Peter, what
have you to say for yourself?' Il am
not good man." replied the applicant,
but I didn't 20 about making apollo
giles for myself on earth. and I don't
intend to begin now" And he got IN.
Now that AIMS age has been thor
oughly discussed, the Council Bluffs
Nonpareil springs this one: a young
woman goes upstairs to dress at 7:45
for the evening. She is 10 years Old
and weighs 102 pounds. State the wait
OF the man below"
Little Boy want you to write me
an excuse for being late to school yes
terday. Jeweler-Eh? You are not
my son. Little Boy-N-o, but mamma
says l had plenty Of time to get to
school, so guess the clock you sold
her doesn't go right
what do you think Of her vocal
abiliVT" asked the manager OF the
show after the prima donna had
ceased to MARBLE. WELL replied the
man who had come in on pass, she
has an admirable voice for destroying
silence. Chicago News.
A well-known judge was standing
at the door OF a ballroom when a very
beautiful woman passed him What
a lovely woman said the Judge. but
90 loud that the lady overheard It
Turning her head. she recognized the
speaker. And what a good judge.
she said.
Magistrate-vhy did you steal tina
ham, Uncle Rastus? Uncle Rastus-
Bekass nah pooh family was staryin'
you homer. Magistrate - Family
starving, eh? But they tell me yo'
own i've dogs. Uncle Rastus-Dati
er fack, 20 homer; but All reckon 70
all wudn't 'spect nah family ter ea
dem dawgs.-Chicago Daily News.
One afternoon little Johnny happen
ed to look up and see the moon, and a
he had never seen it before In th'
daytime, he nan into the house and ex
claimed: "Oh, mamma. I've got
good Joke on Cod" why, what d
you mean, dearT' asked the astonishe'
mother. HE forgot to take the mool
in this morning" explained john
Exchange
Motorist-Are all the tools in tn
toolchestl valet-Yes. sir. Motorist-
Are all the cushions and laprobes i
the tonneau7 yalet-Yes, sir. Motor
ist-Is the tank full OF gasolinef Vale
-yas sir. Motorist-Have you brousn
down all our goggles? Yes, sir Motor
,st-Weu. run up to my room an
hiring the roll Of bills out OF the 10
bureau drawer so that we viii nav
enough money to pay our ines Inc
we shall be ready TO start
Iawyer-You have taken your oatr
md I want YOU TO answer each OF IN
questions honestly. Witness-Aes' 81
rawver-What is your occupation
yy,tnass-I am q driver. LAWYER
10 YOU drive a wagon? Witness-N'
air. I do not. Lawyer-Now be carr
ful and remember that you are
vor- oath. You admit that you are
dr,vsr. now. honestly. don't you dri'
waron7 Witness-No. sir; drive
borse.-Albany Evening Journal
MY dear" said Miss Flagstaff :
hsr country beau. Il thought l ousf
- tsII YOU beforehand that I'm sou
nsmbuiist. You might not IKE
r,.--x a woman who But IN
,mnatient Mr.. Mccoy cut short her T
marks saving: THAT makes no III
sa-sncs Caroline-none in the work
~, Methodist. you know. anu ca
90 with you to your church IN u
o~,ino and you can 20 with me
my church at night, -LApp'heo.' !,
IT never was rebuffed In 80 pleasai
wsy as on my last journey. sal
$50. the commercial traveller. lar
~ was Just about to enter i
of,cs when saw a staircase win
sign. This way for commercial 81. I ira =,
n -, l supposed the stairs led To u
4 SS.,,+,ng-house. so l went up Al
' sorns myself in long hall. with wal
/ ,~nsrs pointing boards directed L
5 wsv / passed through the hail an
e came to a staircase leading down
snother board pointed. ] descende
). md opening the door at the low
cen found l was-in the sire
again.