Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1905-03-31


The derrick isn't handsome, but II
has an uplifting induence,-Phllauei-
phia Record.
New Years: First Resolution-How
are you feeling? Second Resolution
Broke.-Life.
Father (from top of staircase
Ethel, is that young man gomez Ethel
Awful funny, pa,-Grit
"Do you think Banks ever fooled his
wife successfully Il know it. he
married her."-Detroit Free Press.
"What is worse than owing money
you can't pay?" Being owed money
YOU can't collect. Cleveland Ledger
Miss Snowflake What did Jim Jack
son git married for? Miss Washtub-
Lawd only knows-he keeps right on
workin' Puck.
She-Do you think that woman
can truly love but once? He-Well,
if that's the only chance she has-yes!
Detroit Free Press.
Papa, will you send me to Europe
to study music?" mo; you can study
it here, and I'll send you to Europe to
practice. Houston Post.
'Never tell a secret dear. 1t would
be a great breach of confidence"
"What must / do with it, mamma? p
"Well- bring it to mer'-Madame.
Father But do you think you can
make my daughter happy? Suitor-
Happy! Say, you should just have
seen her when l proposed!-Brooklyn
Life.
Mamma Don't lounge that way,
Tommy. Sit up like man, Tommy
Why, mamma, men sit down; it's only
dogs and rabbits that sit up.-Phila-
delphia Press.
Teaspout-Why are you SO angry
with the doctor? Mrs. Teaspout =
When l told him had a terrible tired
feeling he told me to show him my
| tongue. -Exchange.
Hoax-They say the sultan of T'ur-
key scares his wives nearly to death,
Joax-Yes; I've always heard that he
was a harem- scarem sort of fellow
Philadelphia Record.
smiggs There goes a man who has
done much to arouse the people.
Smaggs- Great labor agitator, Ell?
smiggs-No; manufacturer of alarm
clocks.-Chicago Ledger
Mrs. Henpeck- This paper says that
married women live longer than single
ones. Mr.. Henpeck- Heavens, wom-
an! Can't you think of something
pleasant to talk about Borrowed.
Freda-He claims to be related to
you, and says he can prove it. Floyd
Related to me? Why that mans a
fool. Freda-Of course, but that may
be mere coincidence.-Ill Illustrated
Bits.
Mrs. Hayrix-Them air Japs must
be kinder hard up for somethin' tew
read. Hayrix-Why so, Mandy? Mrs,
Hayrix-This paper says they went
an took lot Nv Russian magazines
Exchange.
Nervous Old Lady ION seventh floor
of hoteI-Do you know what precau-
tions the proprietor or the hotel has
taken against fire? Porter-Yes, mum;
he has the place inshoored for twice
wot it's worth. Pittsburg Gazette.
Frenzied Finance: The Farmer lex.
citedly)-Say, Mister Constubble, I've
jest bin bunkered out NV every durn
cent! The Policeman Grritably)-W
don't boiler to me, you come-on!
amt no magazine publisher!-Puck.
Mrs. Watkyns- Henry, want dol,
lar this morning. Mr.. Watkyns-Gre
Caesar, woman! Do you think that !
am made of money? When you want
large amounts you ought to let me
know "A hours in advance,-Somer.
vile journal.
Irate Employer-See here, you young
Rip Van Wrinkle, only hired you yes
terday; and l believe, on my soul
you've been asleep around here ever
sincel Sleepy Joe-Thats what ]
though you wished, sir. Here's your
advertisement: "Wanted-An office
boy, not over IS; must sleep on the
premises. New Orleans Times-Dem
ocrat.
Fish that Chance Color