davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-08-26

"Forty dollars month"; said I,
wrathful1y.
"Cigar ney''-tranquilly.
Look here, Bob; be reasonable. You
ton: If. the newspapers ever get hold
of it, you would be disgraced. They
wouldn't take you as clerk in third
rate consulate. Surprising you should
run into Jack or his wife, or Nancy;
DO you II think they wouldn't know you
"I'll take the risk. I'd deny that
me alone. Chuck, I we got to do this.
Some day you III understand
"But the woman s name, Bob; only
her name.'
ooh, yes! And have you slide around
around and show me up Within twenty
four hours. No, I thank you. I am
determined on this. You ought to
down; it isn't in the blood. And
when all is said, where IS the harm in
this escapade? can see hone. 1t
MAY not last the day thru
II trust not, ''-savagely.
81 am determined upon answering
this letter in person and finding out, if
possible, what induced her to pay my
the thing thru Then he stretched
''i1 oPPSoi1iS bthN' ou1 oOHetlo nv oilu
said wheed1ingly: "Chuck, give me
your word to keep perfectly quiet. l III
drop you line once in while, just to
let you know how I stand. I shall be
at the house tonight. III find an ex-
cuse. I IN to go up north on a hunt
ing expedition; a hurry call. Do you
catch on9'
~ shall never be able to look Nancy
in the face,' I declared. "Come, Bob;
forget it. 1t sounds merry enough, but
my word for it, you II regret it inside
Of twenty-four hours. You are grad
uate Of the proudest military school in
the world, and you are going to make
GIVE already done that and been
locked up overnight. You are vast
ing your breath, Chuck
"Well, hang you for a jackass, sure
enough! I promise; but if you get
into any such scrape as this, you
needn It send for me. refuse to help
you again.
''I can't exactly see that you did.
Let's get out. Got cigar in your
pocket? I am positively dying for
(To Be Continued Next Saturday,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-08-26

Warburton. 'sAll ! want to know is,
am to have any breakfast? I
shouldn't mind some peaches and cream
or grapes to start with, and small
steak and coffee.' ..... ..
eye wouldn It mind, hey9' mimicked
the officer. What d We think this
place is, tn Metropolitan club9 Ye'll
have yer bacon an coffee, an be glad
t. git it. They'll feed ye in tn mess
room. Come along
Warburton took his time over the
coffee and bacon. He wanted to think
out reasonable defense without un-
masking himself. He was thinking how
he could get word to me, too. The
"duffer'' might prove friend in need.
WNow where?' asked Warburton,
wiping his mouth.
if ye're handed over t. tn grand Jury
ter make a clean breast of it. I'll
sps2Ak ren Tera d0a lit ttle ee earioas
""It's a part Of me business,''-
gr ~f;X{i n.ro ~ s.r ! =. ind . ),
said Warburton.
"That's yer own affair. Come
Once outside, Warburton lost color
and large part of his nonchalance;
for an open patrol stood at the curb.
Have | got to ride in that dis
gustedly.
/" AS true as life; an if We make any
disturbance, so much tn worse
Warburton climbed in, his face red
with shame and anger. He tied his
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-08-26

handkerchief around his chin and tilted
his hat far down over his eyes.
'Fraid Of meetin' some of yer swell
friends, hey9 Ten t. one yer a swell
woman. Mind, have an eye on ye.'
The patrol rumbled over the asphalt
on the way downtown. Warburton
buried his face in his hands. Several
times they passed cigar-store, and his
mouth owatered for a good g. gar, the
taste of a clear Havana.
He entered the police-court not lack
ing in curiosity. 1t was his fiji st expert
ence with this arm Of the civil law. He
wasn't sure that he liked it. It WASH It
an inviting place with it's bare benches
and it's motley, tawdry throng. He was
pumped into seat: between some ladies
Of irregular habits, and the stale
odor of intoxicants, mingling with
cheap perfumery, took away the edge
of his curiousity.
Hello, pretty boy; jagY" asked one
of these faded beauties, in an under
tone. She nudged him with her elbow.
"No, sweetheart,' he replied, smil-
ing in spite Of himself.
"Ah gowan! Been pinching some
ones wad?''
"Nope!'
"What are you here for, then7''
"Having a good. time without any
body's consent. If you will listen, you
will soon hear all about it,
Silence there, on the bench!' bawl-
ed the clerk, whacking the desk.
"Say, Marie,' whispered the woman
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-08-26
SUMMARY OF PRECEDING CHAPTERS.


The Man on the Box opens with breezy
Introduction Of the chief characters by Of
the characters the heros prospective brother-in-
Point. graduate Of means. who tired of army
life in Arizona after etting taste Of lead
se s"s Sd went Of nt% to EcEs
At a steamship office in Paris where she is ar
ssnsnE 70: to aS
duce.' She is the daughter Of Colonel Annesley,
mediately engages passage on the same boat
hoping in the course Of the voyage to obtain an
The captain of the ship refuses to aid War
burton. because Colonel Annesley has forbidden
all ship introductons Warburton in despair
Theg und and or
burton ton hepFs Colonel order his sa9aa
that evening, meets his poker companion, sees
Miss Annesley at distance and learns that
is ALL Until the next morning. When efi he learns
that the colonel and his daughter are gone to
is KaSc hns left @f w haasan
Warburton takes train for Washington
where he has married brother, John Warbur-
ton; holding an important government position.
charming sister, Nancy, who Is to be married
before long to Charles Henderson, better known
comes in upon the household Of his brother
announced after an absence of two years and
two months period of neglect as a correspond.
ent. The warmth and cheer of his welcome
narrated is enough to make want to leave
home for n while just for the fun of the sub
SeQuent homecoming.
The night of 'Bob's" return is the date of
big ball at the Russian embassy. But Bob de-
cides not to CO. He has other plans, prac-
teal joke on his sister and sister -in-law. About
the time Nancy and Mrs. john ready to
leave the ball; Bob, according to previous ar
to the embassy, attired coachman, meets
William, gets his number and mounts the box
of a carriage. which he supposes is Johns. A
number Is called which he mistakes for his, he
drives to the door, two ladies enter the
rage, the door slams and he drives off, and his
joke is we'll under way. He drives recklessly,
to give isis" touch of panic. He pulls up
at the door, throws open the door Of the car
1iage, woman steps out, and Warburton plants
kiss upon her cheek Then comes revela-
tion-the woman Is neither Nancy nor Mrs.
John.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-08-26
CHAPTER VII.
A Police Affair.

"Oficers, arrest this fellow!" COM
manded the young woman. Her gesture
was Didoesque in it's wrath.
"That we will, ma 'am!' cried one
of tho policemen,s finging himself from
his horse. $50 it's you, my gay buck7
Thirty days fer you, an mehbe more.
I didn't like yer looks from tn start.
You re working some kind of a trick.
What complaint, ma 'am9'
drunkenness and abduction, rub
bling the burning spot on her cheek
"That IL be rather serious. Yell
have to appear against him in tn
mornin', ma 'am.'
II certainly shall do So" She
promptly gave, her name, address and
telephone number.
Bill, you drive tn ladies home an
I'll see this buckle to tn station. Here,
you TO Warburton, who was still
dumb with astonishment at the extraor-
binary denouement to his innocent
joke. HGit on that horse, an lively,
too, or III rap we with tn club.''
tits all mistake, offcer-''
Y can tell tn judge all that in tn
mornin'. I amt got no time t. listen.
Bill, report just as soon as ye see tn
ladies home. Now, off with we. TIL
ladies IL be wantin' somethin' t; quiet
their nerves. Git on that horse, me
frisky groom; hustlel' Warburton
mechanically climbed into the saddle
1t never occurred to him to parley, to
say that he couldn It ride horse. The
inventive cells Of his usually fertile
brain lay passive. "Now,' went on
the officer, mounting his own nag,
twill we 20 quietly.2 If we don't III
plug ye in tn leg with chunk o. lead.
I won It stan no nonsense
"What, are you going to do with
perate effort to collect his energies.
Clock ye up, mebbe throw a pail
of water on that overheated cocoanut
of yours.'
"But if you III only let me explain to
you! It's all a joke; I got the wrong
Carriage" 49,. 49,.
"Marines, marines! D. we think I
was born yestiddy9 Yee, wanted tn
ladies' sparklers, or I IN a dough-
head, The police are the same all
over the world; the original idea sticks
to them, and truth in voice or pres
ence is but sign of deeper cunning and
villainy. Anyhow, ye can't run
around Washington like We do in Eng
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-08-26

"Marr1ed77'
ono, SIR
a groom9'
IN" .t:. very long, sir. -
r'Less than twenty-four hours, sir -
Surprise rippled over the faces of the
audience on the benches.
"Humph! You are charged with dis
orderly. conduct, reckless driving, and
attempted abduction. The last charge
has been withdrawn, fortunately for
fors2" - la'' you oyer 'ssA up DE-
cup, sir?'
"a prisoner in a police court"
FNo, sir. -
"Twenty-fve for reckless driving and
days -,
"Your honor. the horses ran away"
eyes, urged by your whip.''
~ was not disorderly, sir.''
'The officer declares that you had
HYour honor, I got the wrong car
rage: Ny number was II and 7 an
would Believe this statement. ~ a. 0A'
~ suppose that fully explains why
you made a race track Of one Of our
main thorOfares? ''-sarcastically "You
were on the wrong carriage to begin
with.o
"All I can say, sir, is that it was a
mistake.''
"The mistake came in when you left
your carriage to get a drink. You broke
the law right then. Well, if a man
makes mistakes, he must pay for them,
here or elsewhere. This mistake will
cost you thirty-fve.'
IT haven't a penny in my clothes,
sir.''
"Offcer, lock him up, and keep him
locked up till the fine is paid. I can
not see my way to remit it. Not an
other word'-as Warburton started to
protest.
"Marie johnson, Mabel Tynner, Belle
Lisle!' cried the clerk.
The two yelled ladies left the court
precipitately.
James, having been ushered into a
cell, hurriedly called for pen and ink
and paper. At half after 10 that morn
ing the following note reached me:
"Dear Chuck: Am in a devil of a
scrape at the police court. Tried
to play a joke on the. girls
last night by dressing up in the
groom 8 clothes. Got the wrong outfit
and was arrested. Bring thirty five
and a suit of clothes the quickest ever.
And, for mercy's sake, say nothing to
anyone, least Of all the folks. I have
given the name Of James Osborne. Now
hustle. Bob
I hustled.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-08-26
VIII.
Another Salad Idea.

When they found him missing, his
bed untouched; his hat and coat on
the rack, his inseparable walking stick
in the umbrella stand, they were
nightly worried. They questioned
Jane, but she knew nothing. Jack
went out to the stables; no news there.
William, having driven the girls home
wisely telephoned for me and I hur-
ried over to the house.
"Maybe he hunted up some friends
last night" suggested. ..
"But here's his hat!' cried Nancy.
ooh, he's all right; dom worry.
I'll take tour around the city. I'll
find him. 'Heemay be, at one of the
clubs"
Fortunately for Mr.. James Osborne,
returned home first, and there found
his note awaiting me. | was at the
courtroom by noon, armed with thirty
five, and suit OF clothes OF my own.
I fould the clerk. ....
"A young man, dressed as a groom
and locked up over night said eau
tiously. II wish to pay his fne.'
"James Osborne?' =. -. a a.s
eyes, that's the name; James Os.
borne, reaching down into my pocket
"Fine's Just been paid. We were
about to release him. Here officer
show this I gentleman to James Us
borne's cell, and tell him to pack up
and get out
So his fine was paid! Found the
money in his clothes, doubtless. On
the way to the cells I wondered what
the deuse the rascal had been doing to
get locked up overnight. I was vastly
angry, but at the sight Of him all my
anger melted into prolonged shout of
laughter.
tsThat's right; laugh, you old pi
rate! / wish you had been in my boots
a few hours ago. Lord! =
I laughed again.
IS "Have you got that thirty-fve7" he
asked.
I "Why, your fine has been paid,' ]
replied, rather surprised.
11And didn't you pay it9'
g Not I! The clerk told me that it
had just been paid. -
Warburton IS jaw sank Imply. Just
been paid7- Who the deuce could
have paid it, or known9'
First tell me what you We been
up to. -
He, told me snatches of the exploit
as he. changed his clothes, and it was
question which Of us laughed the
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-08-26

sS1asS are re- ered BY fs
at h night sop fhey v fsfy the hsPS SraS
1ersaton With bis reni Brow a Smith s In s0n
conservative, while. Brown is a pronounced
radlGal. series of conferences follow in which
the leading subject of discussion is the growth
or 4rnE E4fDora at and the inequality in the dis
tour Of the country, and proceed to Washing
t tGR The Three Shades a9psar in the orday
cult to realize that they are not mortals.
NO articles written in recent years on economic
topics have attracted more attention or aroused
pen OF Mr.. Adams.)
we entered the senate chamber of the
national congress, and as Samuel Adams
had predicted we found it deserted save
for few visitors and number CT
sleepy attendants. We stood for few
moments IN silence admiring the really
beautiful hall in which assemble those
who are supposed to represent our more
exalted legislative wisdom and states
manshlp. | was about to make some
remark when a number Of men entered
and grouped themselves near us.
They wore the badges of a we'll
known secret society, and l recalled that
It's annual convention was then in prog
ress in Washington. In half whisper
l explained this to our guests.
"Let us keep quiet and listen to their
comments cautioned Jefferson. "I
should judge them to be typical Of your
citizenship, and am curious to know
their impressions as they stand here.'
We did not have long to wait. I OBJ
served that none Of the delegates re-
moved their hats, and that several of
them continued to puff at cigars.
II wonder where old - sits,'
remarked a delegate, naming a senator
who has long represented far western
state. "We are trying him now for
being mixed up in the various frauds,
and he practically admits his guilt. He
has never represented anything but
himself. certain railroads and other cor
porations. It looks as if we have caught
him with the goods on.''
Zone of our senators is under in
dictment,' laughed man whose badge
indicated that no was from a western
state. "We, feel rasher sore about it
out our way.'
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-08-26

to her nearest neighbor, "here IS boy
got pinched.'
"But look at the sweet things COM
ing in, will you! Amt they swell,
tho?' whispered Marie, nodding a
skinny feather toward the door.
Warburton glanced indiferently in
the direction indicated, and received a
shock. Two women-and both wore
very heavy black wells. The smaller
of the two inclined her body, and he
was sure that her scrutiny was for him.
He saw her say something into the ear
OF the companion, and repeat it to one
of the court lawyers The lawyer APP
preached the desk, and in his turn whis-
pered few words into the judge s ear.
The magistrate nodded. Warburton
was conscious Of blush Of shame. This
was a nice position for any respectable
woman to see him in!
"James Osborne!o called the clerk.
An officer beckoned to James, and he
made his way to the prisoner IS box. His
honor looked him over coldly.
"Name9'
"James Osborne. -
nBorn here's"
HNo.''
Sa SIR
mo, SIR
"Where were you born9u
In New York state. -
How old are you? And don It for
get to say sir when you reply to my
questions. $50
II am %. sir. =
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-08-26

hes!tatlng only for an instant, "and
Smith and L are attempting to show
them something Of Washington.
10 my surprise, Jefferson shook hands
with each gentleman as Brown called
off their names, but Washington and
Samuel Adams bowed and took seats
at the long writing table. There was
that in the bearing Of the three which
compelled the attention and Difference
OF the little group, but if they had any
curiosity concerning the identity Of
brown s alleged guests they did not dis
mingles so much with greatness and
celebrity that he becomes Indifferent,
unless news be at stake. NJ
- You vii! find Washington very dull
at present. said Jones'. who looks af-
ter the interests Of big western pa
per. He addressed his remarks more
the Bowen-Loomis scandal there is lit
tie to write about. It looked for a
while as if the summer season might be
frightened by the Sante Fe railroad
rebate mixup which landed Paul Morton
out Of the cabinet and into the Equit-
able, but Roosevelt wisely s1nothered
that. Last recess we had the Reed
Smoot case, and that made fairly good
reading"
~ presume you gentlemen are kept
very busy during the session Of con-
gress?'' observed Jefferson. s'The CAPT.
tol is then the center Of interest for the
nation, is it not?'
s'It is evident that you are not ia
mlllar, with our newspapers or with the
fine discriminating taste Of the Ameri-
can reading public,' laughed a New
York correspondent. "When Senator
Bullion makes a speech we send para
graph about it-perhaps-but when Sen
ator Bullion s wife gives ball, the de-
scriptions of the gowns worn will fill
two columns. If a congressman throws
an ink bottle at one Of his colleagues
we rise to the occasion and accompany
the narrative with a photograph Of the
bottle, but events of this kind are I'M
fortunately rare, and are becoming more
rare.'
Z" Surely the American people must
be interested in the deliberations of
their na tional legislative body,' pro-
tested Samuel Adams cat time
when this nation is taking it's place in
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-08-26

jeb,, but thus far they have headed him
''It would take him long time to
get that back on a salary of $4,000 a
year, said a man from Illinois with a
meaning smile.
"There s nothing sentimental about
Addicks,'' returned the Delaware man.
"and he is not in the habit of making
poor Investments. You need not worry
about him.
"Who is supposed to be the greatest
senators" asked a young man who had
listcned quietly.
"The greatest senator?' repeated
the man from New York. 'sFrom all
accounts Clark Of Montana has more
money than any two of them"
do not mean in respect to
"What do you mean?"
81 mean the greatest statesman
A rather awkward pause was re-
Heved by a general laugh.
"My dear sir,' said a gentleman
have asked a question which has not
occurred to me in years. L reckon,
sir, that if you were to offer prize
to the greatest statesman in this au-
gust assembly, no one would claim it.
can name you some peerless corpora
tion lawyers who are senators, some
renowned bankers, some famous CAPT.
talists, some matchless politicians, some
shrewd and excellent manufacturers
and business men, but if you were to
call any one of them statesman he
would resent it as an attempt to be
sarcastic at his expense. I suggest,
gentlemen, that it is time we were re-
turning to our hotel.'
The delegates acted on this advice,
and I must confess that I felt embar-
raised and ashamed. 1 had heard sim
liar remarks and even more pointed
ones scores of times before without
paying more than passing attention to
them, but in this place and in pres
ence of these illustrious shades, the
needless comments Of these strangers
sounded a discordant note. I turned
from Browns grinning face to look
into the calm and questioning eyes of
Samuel Adams.
"Do these men fairly represent the
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-08-26

the family Of nations, and when new
and vital questions are pressing for
solution it is inevitable that the debates
and actions OF your congress must be
e eaosiay watched VIZ by the people in every
- Your friend Mr.. Adams is certainly
from abroad,' declared the Young man
who looks after the interests of a Bos-
ton paper addressing his remark to
Brown, and looking curiously at Samuel
Adams "There are not five men in
the mouse OF representatives who can,
or at least who dare make speech
worth reporting. Half of the voters
In the United States could not tell to
save their lives, who represents them in
what their congressman does to earn his
money. No person of ability, unless
he has independent means, can afford to
go to congress on salary of $4,000 a
year, and the man of wealth with polit-
zeal ambitions aspires to the senate. As
a consequence the house is filed with
secord-rate lawyers, and with politi-
usefulness, but who for various rea-
sons must be taken care of. There
are various other types of legislative
nonentities with a sprinlzling of capable
and even able men of various shades Of
political morality. There is more real
talent IN one department. of a Well-reg-
ulated corporation or trust than in the
entire house Of representatives as at
present constitutcd.''
"a most remarkable state Of af-
fairs, commented Samuel Adams. "My
dear sir, have you advised the readers
Of your paper to that effect?'
"What's the use9' carelesslv re-
sponded the correspondent. "Our in
telligent readers know this as well as
do, and the others would either not
read it or not care. We look for news
and action from the president and at
times from the supreme court. Con-
gress is the, governmental vermiform
You do not entertain an exalted
opinion of the congress- quietly OBJ
served Jefferson.
"Why should I9'' he replied. ct
have been in Washington nearly ten
years.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-08-26

sentiment of your people towards your
national senate and their respect for
itg' he asked.
"They do not" declared. 'tThe
great mass of the people still have
faith in and respect for the upper
house of congress. -
Nonsense!" exclaimed Brown. "The
great mass of the people who read and
vote and who attempt to think have
about as much faith in the senate as
these men do. If the people had a
chance to vote against the present SEN
ators and in favor of candidates of
their own selection, not ten Of them
would hold their seats.'
"The men whose conversation we
overheard seemed fairly intelligent and
well informed,' remarked Jefferson.
"Some of their idioms sounded strange
in my ears, but their language was ex-
pressive, and there was no chance to
mistake their 'meaning.'
II was panied and amazed that not
one OF them expressed anger or even
disapprobation at the acts charged
against. the men who have, been hon
ored with these high positions, said
Washington. "They limited at abuses
which should be classed as crimes, yet
it seemed to me that they admired
rather than condemned the men who
are guilty of them.''
"The average American of today
worships success, no matter how at
tanned, and nothing, but, success" as
small thieves and up at big ones, not
with respect exactly, but with a sort of
envious admiration. Those who are in
formed on the subject consider a con-
gressman or a senator as a sort Of a
H.,
They have about as much respect for
one as they do for a tax collector The
more they know Of them the more they
are inclined to some such view,''
II suspect that you are too severe
said Thomas Jefferson.
"Possibly T am,' smiled Brown.
IT served several years as a Wash
ington newspaper correspondent for
a conservative journal, and dur
ing that time I lost all of
my illusions, and probably. contracted