The Hocking sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1871-1906, 1905-05-25
Seth HHdy'S Dec0T0f0n D0y.

"A ETH HARDY had been out all
SNday, doing the patriotic on Decora-
- ton Day, very much as too many
others of our citizens do IT.
He regarded the day as fitting time
for celebrating, and after he had listened
TO the stirring speech of Gen. Porter.
who had been brought from the neighbor-
ing city to deliver the address. he march
ed to the cemetery in the procession.
partook of the lemonade furnished the
citizens by Col. Crockett. and felt that
he had done his duty by the country and
its dead soldiers. Then he went about
celebrating the day in his own way. No
matter just what that way was. There
are altogether too many people who look
upon Decoration Day as time for
sports. fast driving, ball games. and
general good time.
Seth came home about eight in the
evening. tired. hungry and dizzy headed:
Mrs Hardy had gone to meeting oi
the Patriotic Daughters of Thomas JEFF
ferson; and Peggy, the maid of all work.
had a day off.
Mr.. Hardy's home was dark and empty
when he admitted himself with his latch
key, and groped his way through the
front hall to the sitting room.
.'Confound it allr' said Hardy to him
self. as he struck his shins against the
obtrusive rocker of a chair, there amt
anything in this house managed as it
ought to be since Sarah Ann joined that
club The women are all talking about
their spheres. Humph. the place for Il
woman is to home. That's her sphere
the proper sphere for the female sect.
"Yes, SIR Sarah Ann says amt ad-
vanced. Perhaps l amt, and what's
more. | don't want TO be advanced, and
/ won't be advanced, No, ma'am, Gee
whizz, There's that blasted chair right
in NV path again, Darn Il rocking chair.
anyway"
Mr.. Hardy got on his feet. rubbed the
| back of his leg where the rocker had
raked off the skin. and felt of the spot
ON his temple where his head had hit the
corner of the marbletopped center table.
..Nobody but fool woman would have
a rocking chair setting righ in the mid
die of the room TO waylay and shipwreck
every innocent person that happened to
be navigating in that vicinity" said Har-
dy. Indignantly. "Now, where in the
world are the matches? Good gracious.
it's the very first time in my life that
didn't have a pocket full OF 'em about
me, Ho. here's a bunch of 'em-' And
Mr.. Hardy began to scratch. scratch.
scratch on every available piece of fur
niture including the leg of his panta-
looms. but no light followed. He put one
of the supposed matches to his nose
..Great Scott. They're toothpicks,
Now, who on earth ever put toothpicks
where a man that had just come home at
night. and on Decoration Day night, too.
would find 'em the first thing? Nobody
but fool. Who'd be likely to want to
nick teeth in the dead of night in my
sitting room? Yes, who? All, ha. Here's
match, at last, Now. then, for some.
thing to cat. I'm famished as bear in
the spring time, gentle Annie Sarah
Jone-no. by Jove, Her names Sarah
Ann, but somehow my head is awfuly
muddled-must be going without my din
ner-Sarah Ann baked mince pies last
week. and there was one on the table
| thot night that the minister and his wife
| took tea here. Must be five more of 'em
somewhere. But wherei Yes, where:
Now, Sarah Ann says that eating mince
pie is liable to give Il man the neuras-
l
rotic-iarned if | know just what it is
that II does give him, But it's something
that's got a neu TO it, anyway. Now,
T wonder where she put them pies.
Sarah Ann beats any woman that ever
was born for hiding things"
Mr.. Hardy proceeded to make an ex-
haustive tour of the different cupboards
and closets, but no mince pie rewarded
his efforts.
Nothing more edible than slice of
cold ham, and a cup of sulphur and mo-
lasses. which was Mrs. Hardy's spring
medicine. met his eyes in the course of
his investigations.
..She must have chucked 'em down
cellar somewhere" he said to himself
"WaIl, may be she thinks | can't smell
| 'em out. Ha, ha, as sure as you live
scent spice." and Mr.. Hardy gave 4
satisfied sniff as he opened the door of
closet IN the cellar and peSred cautious
| ly inside.
by Jinks." he cried, IF L amt in
luck. Five of 'em, and sponge cake
besides And doughnuts. too! My. but
Sarah Ann can cook. I'll cat couple of
! the pies. and throw the plates away.
She'll think they've been burslarized
| while we were away decorating. Great
| schemer Ha. ha! how everlasting hop
| ping mad she'd be if she could behold the
partner of her joys and sorrows now"
Mr.. Hardy executed pirouette, with
his mouth fulI-of pie, and his eyes greed
lily fxed on he golden $40 cake whisss.