The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1905-09-14
TALK ABOUT SMOKE.

- pal n UOoiuluS uOuScs ulltu Win real
sonorous hotel name, one morning re-
Gently.
II was an on account of new boarder.
The new boarder was-and is-the
young and exceedingly winsome and at
tractive wife of government official
whose duties require him to spend most
OF his time away from Washington.
The landlady of the boarding house
knew who the young matron was, all
right, for she brought her credentials
along.
But some Of the feminine guests Of
the boarding house did not know any
thing about the new boarder, the land
lady belonging to the rare. unpumpable
species Of her sex and occupation.
The young matron took the third
hoor front, and occupied herself exclu-
sively in attending strictly to her own
business.
Being pretty and stylish and a guest
in fashionable boarding house. il fol-
lows, as a matter of course, that, from
the beginning she was suspected and dis
liked by a certain coterie of the other
guests of the establishment.
One morning last week Katie. the
Opaque, middle-aged Hibernian woman
who does most of the chambermaid work
OF the boarding house. saw the stump of
cigarette on the mantel In the new
boarder's room.
This was a pleasing discovery for
Katherine, for she shared the general
and wholly unwarranted distrust of the
third fiure front"
AS soon as Kate had made up the
room, she pranced down to the second
story back and told the feminine occu-
pant what she had seen in the new board
ers room.
We'll, Of all things!" exclaimed the
second story back, and she made for the
room Of the second story front.
What do you Think" she exclaimed,
rushing into the second story fronts
room. THAT person in the third floor
front is sitting up in her room at this
blessed minute smoking cigarette after
cigarette, and blowing the smoke out of
her nose!"
The second story front assumed the
proper attitude of horror. and the two
women made for the room Of the second
story center
Great heavens," exclaimed the sec
ond story middle, who was peacefully
removing the kids from her front hair,
can you imagine what is going on I'M
der this very roof? That person up in
the third floor is sitting up in her room,
smoking big, black cigars! Did YOU
ever hear the like of that in your born
days."
OF course, the second story center had |
never, never, heard the like in all her
born days, and her face tQlk on an ex-
preston of extreme horr Sf, mingled
with acidity. |
She Immediately made for the apart-
meni of the first floor back, accompanied
by the other two women.
MY dear" inquired the second story
middle of the first floor back. are YOU
aware that there Is a creature in This
house at the present moment of time
who is doing nothing else in this wide
world but smoking clay pipe filled with
strong, black tobacco.
The first floor back almost keeled over
with the shock, but she bravely pulled
herself together and confronted the
frightful situation with a firm-set coun-
tenance.
I'VE must go at once to the landlady,"
she said, with an information such as
Joan of Arc might have used when she
directed an attack upon the British.
Then they all made for the apartment
Of the landlady in body.
They found that kindly old gentle
woman contentedly crocheting in her
room, all unconscious of the terrific
storm that was about to swoop down
upon her.
The second floor front. the second floor
back, the second floor middle and the
irst floor back marched in upon her
with gloomy faces.
Mrs. Gettbye,' began the first floor ,
Jack, in hollow voice, "rhere is a per-
ION in this establishment who must be
lotified to leave at once
Mercy on u.s." naturally exclaimed
he landlady. What is the trouble?"
The creature who occupies the third
loor 'front.'" solemnly replied the first
loor back, lis shamelessly smoking an
opium pipe up in her room, brazenly
md without the slightest attempt at
at this very moment. She
must go Immediately. or we shall all
cave before the sun goes down this very
ay."
The landlady was the picture of per-
urbation. She put away her fancy work
nd assembled to the third floor front,
he knocked on the door and heard a
heery: Come In"
She entered-and found the room filled
18th smoke.
Il just came in to see If the maid
rought you fresh counterpart, said
be kindly old lady to the new boarder.
so kind Of you" murmured the new
oarder. did you ever have to smoke
lese horrid things?"
mo" replied the landlady. They are
lbebs, are they not?"
YES" replied the new boarder, show
Il