davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03
Tabloid Philosophy.

A lad egg isn't all that it is era ckcd up
to bc.
Til" derrick isn't handsome. Int il las
an upliftin. influence
1t is sometimes the absence Of dough
that makes 4 fellow cruSty
The beauty about falling is that yol;
dnm't haNc to respond ~ eacoies.
just hrn;,s" IL man is corncred 1t
dO' sat signify that h. ISM SQUARE.
Don't tn Il man to take Il back seat I'M
less YOU want him 10 t;tkr alfrui!;.
''i!cl; not thai We i" not kicked is a
good motto for the chronic kicker.
\ genius is o.tcl merely 4 man who M
tism.
-Phila Gclnhia Record
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03
LIGHT AND AIRY.
As Represente.d.

'Iiow did you like that hous+. ! put Up
i"T you Last jear"i asked the young con-
tractor
Why. confound it, snapped the irate
farn:eI. ~ cyclone swept il away while
my vile WAS inside
An. that is just as stated
what
That Your wife would be carried away
with it,"
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03
What He Missed.

Richwond-Wc have plenty of wealth,
but cid King Solomon was much richer
than W. ale.
Roxwoo,!-Yes. bat he never enjoyed
himself as much as We DO
Rici,w0od--W ny not?
HoNwOod-lic didn't have an s.utono-
bile
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03
Easy to Recall.

Jack-Tlow Is il that automobile myS-
terry stands 50 Iividly in the minds Of you
girls?
Muy--Why. cr-I suppose it's because
the principal character was Mr.. Hugo.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03

The restriction shat salmon may not
be taken from the waters of south
EASTER! Alaska until after July OF
each year has been removed. and in
View OF this ii is expected that the
catch will be very much larger this
year Than previously.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03
CEILING Gazers.

Young man, let your motto he I.oo!.
up"
We'll, there is Il time when we all look
up"
When ambition strikes u.s."
No, Wien we are getting shaved
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03

EstAsLisHEp, 1925.

Ne neties whatsver will Be taken Of
unsigned communications.
The Journal cannot BE- held responsible
for the preservation or return Of re-
jected communications.
Address ell communication relating 70
subscriptions and advertisements to
BURLMGH L ELYNT. Publishers,
: AnQsta, Maine.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03
Very Good.

Are You on good terms with all your
gueSts?" asked the new arrival at the
winter resort.
'Verv gOo': terms" chuckIed the land
lord of the hotel. About $40 per day"
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03
Natural Conclusion.

The teacher was giving lesson in Rus
And it was Ivan the Terrible" she re-
lated. who sl;lught,ire SO many innocent
people. Why did he do IT."
Il guess il WAS because he owned an au
."mohilc. spoke up,:thc boy whose father
l. :, chauffeur
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03

when the Occidental and Oriental
Steamship Ccmrany'S Gaelic sailed from
gan Francisco for the Orient recently she
'arricd THU teen passengers. &l,d ihe city
,o'"rnr,"nt awaits the nrX; i:cwS of her
Min mis- wings.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03
Chicago Cattle Market.

Chicago Jan. >
CATTI .E-Rcceipts. $."o; good 10 prime
steers. ) +nlrGnA.
HOGS-R"c"ipts. 1900: mixed ana
butchers i.iottl.c,; choice to good heavy
i.t4ru4..,
SiiEEP-Receipts. 5000; good 10 choice
hpaV,- ( tavff i. fI
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03
Strictly Canine.

What kind Of baking do You call
this?" ruarcd the turbulant husband. Il
| an. leading Il dogs HE"
In that case" replied his wife gently.
perhaps would better ger YOU some dog
biscuit"
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03
Sequel Of War.

Gen StOessel says he will never sub
nit remarked the reading bOartler.
Don't you believe It," replied the think
ing boarder. IF ne escapes with his life
he will be submitting to every magazine
in the country"
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03
In Ancient DAYS.

Cleopatra lad just called for an adder.
II wish We lived in future ages" said
the court jester.
why So?" askct. the page
"Wny. if cash registers were invented
could take her majesty one and tell her it
was the best adder out
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03

Poor Mrs. De Olde! Her eyesight i
falling so fast she is of very little use /
society,"
"Oh. she is in great demand
What for"
IAN the girls want her as chaprron"
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03
She Left First,

Miles-Did Croakus leave a widow?
Giles-No: she lett him about a year be
fore he died.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03
Maine Gossip
In 1905.

Perhaps old Por, Arthur will tumble a
last,
And the Russians he licensed to vote:
PERHAPS Dr. Wiley won't ask US 10 fast
Les. food that is queer reach the throat.
Perhaps I'll serene. III IL flying nlachin"
At some point tar away Wen arrive;
PERTAINS DR. Lawson will love Mr.. Green.
In Nineteen Hundred and Five.
PerhaDs Dr. Tesla 1T last will invent
some things that are really true;
And maybe the trusts OF their ways VII!
repent.
irha homes Of This kind are but few
pcrl,;. ~; ;h. Dol! -we"vil will quite ,iiSIp-
pear,
Or even be taken alive.
Their. is really lot to be done IN the
OF Nineteen Hundred and Five.
Washington Star.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03

The senatorial minority will be able
caucus, tonight, than two years ago.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03

Eidicford Journal: Colonel Fred \.
Hall Of Lewiston claims to have the
original gun that was first fired on
Fort Sumter" Earring the doubt as
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03

Today at the Capitol is unoficially
known as '(ilad-Hand Tuesday"
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03

There were no fewer than 81 meas
ures referred from. the list Legislature
to the one which will organize tomor-
row. y few will he taken up. but for
most CT them it WIS simply {, consider
ate form of burial
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03

Today the Legislative preliminaries
are pretty we'll takcl car. Of; tomor-
row will H.. Organization day. an!
Thursday will BE- Inauguration day.
breath.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03

FCrt Fairfield Review: A good por-
ton Of Fort Fairfeld'S nearly 80 stu
dents in higher institutions Of learning
are home to spend the holidays. We
have repeatedly asked for some other
town OF its population that could show
as many college students as Fort Fair
field. but have not yet been able to
learn of one. Truly the Fort Fairfield
High school is doing its work of fitting
boys and girls for college in very
satisfactory manner.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03

For the first time the Bangor public
the innovation is welcome New
Years gift to the city. Hitherto Bangor
has chung TO the primitive idea of
charging al annual fec for the use OF
the books.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03

The loss OF one OF the Lest buildings
makes the beginning of 1905 a little
blue At Goodwin Farm. but gloom will
not long find an abiding place there.
The calamity vii! orns it's host OF
friends 10 the rescue Of the institution.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03

Mr.. Hinckley tells the Journal that
the most pressing need of Good Will as
tn result of the fire is money for the
purchase of school books. All the
school books We're destroyed, as we'll as
the whole library OF 5000 volumes. and
th" work in the schOolrOon is at stand
still until new ones can be procured
1t will take about 500 to replace the
school books
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03

1t is most STltifying--t also some
what OF :, surpriSe--io learn that the
Maine commissioners of the ST. Louis
fair will turn back into the treasury
about t';,ft0 uucNpendeI money
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03

The Cobb Club excursion from Rock
land to Augusta is a sure 90. A special
car has be. Ii engaged and the party
will lcIv" I;Ockland at $50 A. NJ
Wednesday, returning Thursday 1T
s.3j p. VI. Many Rockland people will
be- present to see their distinguished
f.liow-citiZe.l become Governor
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03

At the Augusta hospital there are
about 934 Patients and the wards are
in Il crowded condition.-E:uigor Conn
,ltrcial.
1t is all true enough about the wards
being crowded. but the number Of in
ahov.. The daily average during
1884 WAY $50. the largest number being
10 on August l.: The total number
uEder treatmc!nt in the institution dur
Ing the Eear was SCI.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03

The annual report; n the various
state departments aud institutions are
coming along in thick succession.
They are all full OF interesting facts
ana figures that the Public should be
acquainted with.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-01-03
ROUND ABOUT NEW YORK.
Ripples on the Current Of Life in the
Metropolis.

An idea of the extraordinary amount
of Christmas shopping done in Greater
New York may be formed from the
statistics collected by one Of the great
department stores, into which more
than 2,000,0 900 shoppers found their way
last week. In one Of the smaller
stores. which accommodated about
1000 coo Christmas buyers, $4,000 pack
ages. largely holiday gifts. left the
building in Ole day. A noticeable
feature in the stores this year was the
absence of the usual flimsy Christmas
decorations, the decree of the fire de-
partment having gone forth that there
be no temporary structures of cloth
and wood, with streamers of gauZe in
tcrtwincd. Iii the only store which
attempted lavish display all the scen-
cry vas maze freproof, including the
miniature SnOW-cOvered church, where
professional singers sang at intervals
during the day.
The Washington times., 1905-07-09
ARTFUl,EAS WINNER IN
RICH BRIGHTON EVENT
Continued from First Pageo

Morrison), to5, second; Goldie, 1oS
darsen), TO /, third. Time 1:0l 20.
Hyperion II, Hogan, Autillion ran.
Third race-SelIing; three-year-olds
and upward: one nlile-Mcllva1n 70
CWishard) to J. won: Scotch Thistle,
JOS (E. Robinson), s 10 5, second; Hot,
102 (Goodchild). % to ]. third. Time,
1:41 1-5. Tapiolo. Stroud. Louise Nc
Farland, Bonnie Burr ran.
Fourth race-Cincinnati Hotel Spring
Handicap; three-year-olds and upward; /;
one and one-eighth miles. Huzzah. 50 &C.
Norris, to l. won; Shawana, 81 lVan-
derburgJ. 3 to 1, second: Intense, " u.
Hicks. 8 to ], third. Time, 1:53 1-5.
Dutch Barbara, the Cook, Early Boy,
White Plume ran.
Fifth race-Purse; two-year-old fillies;
five furlongs. Sister Frances, los
fWishard), 3 to 2. won; Grace Wagner,
103, 8 to l. second; Miss Kitty, 103 (Mc-
1ntyre). 20 to /, third. Time, 1:01 1-5.
Toya, Tinker. Sallie B, Galleta Grace,
Jennie Bast ran.
Sixth race-SeIling; four-year-olds and
up, one mile and fifty yards. Swift
Wing. 100 (Vanderbou.), TO /, won; St.
Paris. sS tFoy), 3 TO J. second; Benvo-
lilo. 103 (Wisharde, to I. third. Time.
2:1o Is. Fonsoluca, IIelgerson, Mfntbed,
Beaucaire, Gold Belle ran. Belle Dod-
son fell.
The Washington times., 1905-07-09
COLLEGE SPORTS
NOT BENEFICIAL
Said to Cause Weakness in
System.
Ex-HARVARD COACH SPEAKS
John Cranston Attributes Several Sick
nesses to Overexerrion in Athletics
at Cambridge.

NEW YORK, July s-That the
severe strain underground by college
athletes units them to a great extent
for business or professional life be-
cause of weakness induced by over
eXertion, is the opinion of John Grams
ton, Harvards former football coach
and center of the great team which
defeated Yale in 1890.
Il have had several sicknesses since
l left college which / attribute to the
great strain of my athletic training,
said Cranston in a recent interview.
"On the whole / cannot say that my
athletics have benefited me any in
my business career. I sincerely be-
lieve I would have been better off in
my life since college if T had left ath-
letics alone
Collecting Statistics.
With the idea of ascertaining the
actual effect of the long training and
the great efforts incident to contests,
college presidents are collecting sta
tisties regarding the health of famous
athletes and their accomplishments In
the affairs of life.
These statistics viii not be ready for
official publication before next Octo-
ber but President Jones, Of the Uni
versity of Illinois, says they will un-
doubtedly cause surpise to the men who
declare that the college athlete de-
velops into the vigorous man who
does things.
The Washington times., 1905-07-09
JEROME TRAVERS AGAIN
A WINNER At GOLF
Puts Down P. A. Proal II the Apawamis
Golf Tourney by Four Up and
Three to Play

RYE, y. Y. July 3-Jerome Travers
this afternoon defeated P A Proal up
and 3 to go fer the first cup in the
Apwamis regular summer golf tourna-
ment. Travers Is the former inter
scholastic champion and holds the Long
Island title while Proal IS n member
of the Princeton and Seabright clubs.
In the second A. s. Morrow, Short
Hills, n. j., beat F. C. Jennings. Gar
den City. UP and 3 TO GO In the thirt.
set, W. X. Shepard New Haven. beat
b. H. Warford, Stamford. up and 2
to sc. In the fourth set. A. FL Hart.
of the home club. beat w P Copp
Stamford. / UP. The winner of handi-
cap at 20 holes was b. II. Bottone,
Fox Hill. Findiay Douglas. ex-national
champion. played for the first time in
handicap in the metropolitan district
this season. His total was 100 against
the III for Bo;tome. who was allowed
twenty-five handicap. The other
scratch man beside Douglas was T. NJ
Sherman, of Utica, who made 153
Jerome Travers was at scratch. but
did not return his card IL the after
noon rounds. His contest with Proal
for the chief cup was marked by super
ior putting Their medal scores were
relatively poor
The Washington times., 1905-07-09

Twelva z5hhlrls out of al entry of thirty
one hcme within two hours was the
clos. finish in tfe 6eo-niie race which
was fe@n by the Washington district
this week. ,celis excellent showing is the
direct result Of the splendid handling of
the liberatcr, V. L. Stanton. an enthusi-
astic faneier of Waycross. Ca, In whose
care the birds were placed
The bir's were shipped on June IS,
and were s:eld for favorable winds On
arrival they were given the liberty. of
Mr. Stantcn's commodious loft. where
they enjoyed all the comforts of nome.
In the presence of a large assemblage
they were liberated at 4:30 am. ard
without the semblance of a circle, these
thfrty-one aerial racers started on the
closest ionS-distance race ever flown by
like number of birds, veritable
neck to neck,' race.
Greatly aided by a brisk wind from
the southwest, they took advantage of
the favorable conditions. and at least
twelve of them rested in the Wilds of
Virginia on the night of July T.
Rupert Won.
The first arrival was to the loft OF
Charles f. Rupert, at 10:1S am, on
July ), followed about every ten min
utes by others, until twelve had ar
rived by l o'clock. Later in the after
neon, however. rain set in, increasing
in downpcur as the evening wore on.
thus preclrioing the possibility of any
more arrivals. On the foIiowir-- day
similar conditions prevailed and ONLY
one bird Eas reported. But for the
The Washington times., 1905-07-09
RESULTS AT BUFFALO.

BUFFALO, July S.-pTeen. at to /.
Won the International handicap at Ken
ilworth today. The game filly, Dishablle,
at top weight. and fsvorite in the bet
ting. was second, ara hosetint, third.
The summaries:
First race-Five and one-half furIongs;
92 Perrine), ) to I, won; Conjuress, So
u Henderson,, to L, second; Peggy,
100 (Lee), II to l. third. Time. los. Wild
1rishman, Monochord, Royal Window
Ian. FL Donoso, Sacredo, and Caper-
sauce also ran.
Second race-Five and one-half fur
longs. two-year-olds. Jack Duian. los
tE. Walsh), l 3to 5, won; Nagazam, 10a
fIraysrs,r to !, second: Silver Sue. lU9
tW. Fisher, 10 to !, third. Time. l :07 Is.
Halifax. Pythia, Away and Libation also
ran.
Third race-one mile; three-year-olds.
Bragg. 1o4 Helgesen). to i. second +:
War Whoop. 100 (RomaneiID. TO .
third. Time, 1:39 80. Little Scout also
ran.
Fourth ace-Three-auarter mile. IN
ternational Handicap. Preen. 1o7 Cream :
er}, te. l, Won; Dishabille. 116 fOliphant).
to I, second: Rosetint, Ill Oohertyl. 10
10 1. third. Time, LIP Do Toscan, Scotch
Ffume. Bobby Kean and Azelina also
Fifth race-One mile and forty yards;
three-year-olds. BIennenworth. Iii 1OI,
phant), to /. won; Fair Calypso. SO
tKlenck. 3 to I, second; Winchester, SO
(RonanellD. 25 to /. third. Time, :43 3-5.
Scion Shingle,. Gay LiZzette, The Don
and Zig Tag also ran
Sixth raee-Fiye-ei.yht mile; two-year
oIds. Nil, 107 fE. .~Talsli), to 2 won
Merry Belle, 107 Qsorlanelli), to /,
second; Orilene. 107 q. Hennesay), to
1. third. Time, 1:oz-. Tsara. Carrie
Graham. Lacene. Venus, Annie Berry,
Gamester. Cadillac. and Gold Girl also
ran.
The Washington times., 1905-07-09
Highly Successful
Long Distance Race
Twelve Outaof Thirty-one Pigeons Finish 600
Mile Flight With Difference of Two
Hours Between Them.

falling weather, there Is little doubt but
what nearly all of the birds would haya
homed in time for record.
As an appreciation or his earnest ef-
did returns. consignment OF youngsters
VII be sent Mr.. Stanton IN the near fu-
ture.
How They Finished.
The following is the entry and aver
age speed of the returns.
Entry-6. Charles F. Rupert. rs and
723 yards (second day. third day..
, Entry-5, DIR. r. R. zAshworth. zls
yards
Entry, Walter Norwood. III yards.
Entry, DR.. r. r. Ashworth, 7N
yards Second day, two birds.~-SS-S
Entry-4, c. f. Hengesbach, 7oe
yards
Entry, Riley A. Huntt. 100 yards.
Entry. j. c. Ladd, $50 yards
The diploma winners were Charles =.
Ashworth, third and fifth, and Walter
Norwood. fourth.
TIE Standing.
Mr.. Rupert wins the special trophy
for the best average returns Several
of the members. who started in the con-
test dropped out before the last race.
The standing of those remaining are
as follows: Charles F. Rupert, rs per
cent: w. j. Toy, 50 per cent; Walter
Norwood, 80 per cent; W. E. Dfsmer,
So per cent, and J. c. Ladd, So per cent
j. c. Ladd created a new record in
from 100 to 500 and from zoe TO 500 miles;
the former with an average of 1,127.53
yards, and the latter with an average
of 1,221 yards.
The Washington times., 1905-07-09
MADE NARROW ESCAPE
UNDER HORSES HOOFS

While playing n the street near his
home yesterday afternoon, Herbert Kidd
seven years old, of sos Seventh street
southeast, was knocked down by the
horse attached to a wagon belonging to
6. H. Warner. OF 922 Ninth street north
west, and narrowly escaped death un-
der the animals steel clad hoofs The
driver jumped from the seat as soon
as the animals front foot struck the
lad, and picked the little fellow up be-
fore the wheels OF the wagon passtSi
over him
Herbert was taken to his home and
was later attended by DR.. Butz. who
said he did not think the bruises and
cuts were CT a serious nature
Persons Who saw the boy knocked
down said Ii uas an unavoidable acci-
dent, and tie driver gas permitted to
go on his way without police interfer-
ence-
The Washington times., 1905-07-09
SUSPECTED AS MAN
WHO ROBBED WINDOW

Suspected of having broken open 3
show window of a Seventh street cloth
ing store, George Banks, celored. TWEEN
ty-one years old, was arrested by Po-
1icemen Mckeever and Burk. OF the
Sixth precinct station. last night. lie
will be held for a further investigation.
On Thursday night two colored men
broke into Eiseman Bros clothing store
at 315 Seventh street northwest, and stole
several coats and some other clothing.
McKeever caught them in the act, but
they ran and outdistanced him. He
says he got good look at them, and
last night recognized Banks as the man
who had the coats under his arm The
colored man denied his guilt.
The Washington times., 1905-07-09
HE'S A Brute.

letters from won Harold said the ae-
Srieved young thing. bat l don't think
it's one bit nice to dictate them to your
stenographer.
Why, sweetheart, how do YOU know
did?''
'.I could tell by the spelling ng.''-Brook-
lyu Citizen
The Washington times., 1905-07-09

Two-base hits-Jones. Crawford Three
base hIt-Cooiey. Stolen beses-OLeary
Green, Isbeil. Left on hases-Detroit
10; Chicago 8. Base on balls-On Kit
son. /; off Owen. l. Struck out-By Kit
son. 6; by Owen 4. Sacrifice hits
Holmes, 2; Sullivan. 2; Owen. Doran.
Hit by pitcher-Isbel Umpire-Sheri-
dan. Tirle-2 hours and 35 minutes. At
tendance. 200
The Washington times., 1905-07-09
KNEW HER MEASURE

II want a lady's belt" said a recently
married man.
Yes. sir said the polite shop girl.
What size?''
A blush mantled the customers brow
then he said, II don't exactly know. Let
me have a tapemeasure, please" And
as he placed it along the inside of his
arm from shoulder to wrist the shou
girl remarked softly to her companion:
He isn't the fool he looks, is he, Jen-
ny?"-Chicago Journal
The Washington times., 1905-07-09
FIRE-wALKING CEREMONY.

There was a fre-waIking ceremony re-
near Palghaut- The fire pit was about
sixteen feet long and twelve feet wide.
and was well filled with burning cinders
to a depth of fully five inches. The fire
walkers. who numbered about forty
seven, marched in procession from the
temple 10 the river, and back to the
fire pit After offering puja in front
of the pit, they rushed over the fire
amid beat of tom-tom and other pr1mi-
tive music.-Madras Mail.
The Washington times., 1905-07-09
SUPPLY AND DEMAND.

L tell you," said the passenger with
the skull cap, there is something
wrong with country where a prize
fighter can make more money in one
night than a college professor can make
In five years.
You're right, pard," said the pas
senger with the loud check suit.
There's too blamed many college pro
fessors and too blamed few great prize
fighters. Chicago Tribune
The Washington times., 1905-07-09
WAY AHEAD.

Pelican-Who was the best man at
the wedding?
Ostrich-NNelI. :. was a tie between
me and the alligator. as far as the din
ner was concerned but I swallowed the
wedding presents and won out.-Chicago
News.
The Washington times., 1905-07-09
"PUSH" AND "PULL."

How did Russell, the merchant, man.
age to become so wealthy?
The sign on his screen door ex-
plains it,
''How's THAR?
Push
Il see. And the sign on the door
In Crookseys gambling joint explains
how he made his pile. eh?''
'-Yes. .Pull-with the city author
tiles. Detroit Tribune
The Washington times., 1905-07-09
BACK TO THE SOIL.

Every farmer boy wants to be a school
teacher, every school teacher hopes to
be an editor. every editor would like
to be banker, every banker world like
to be a trust magllate, and every trust
magnate hopes some day to own farm
and have chickens and cows and pigs
and chores to look after. We END where
we begin.
The Washington times., 1905-07-09
BAD ACTING.

HamfatteIs P. Jenkinson Trout a
member Of your troupe?
Irvinbooth-He was
Hamfatt-Was? Wasn't he a good
actor?
lrVirbooth-No. he was r very bad
actor He was acting as treasurer of the
company, and he went south with the
receipts.-Cleveland Leader
The Washington times., 1905-07-09
THE MASSACRE OF LANGUAGE.

City Editor-Well, what's new?
Reporter-Man suicided over on the
South Side.
City Editor-What else?
Reporter-A retail merchant has
arsoned and two prominent citizens have
bigamied.-Philadelphi Press.
The Washington times., 1905-07-09

Toward the end of the second game
Griffith refused to take a chance with
either Hayden or Hickman, so he
passed them to firs3 and served EN- up
to the weaker batters.