davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23
Di3FIGURING HUMOR.
Brushed Scales from Face Like Pow
der-Doctor Said Lady Would Be
OisHgured for life--Cuticura
Works Wonders.

Il suffered with eczema all over my
body. My face was covered. my eye
brows came out. | had tried three
doctors. but did not get any better
] then went TO another doctor. He
thought my face would be marked for
life, but my brother-iB-law told me TO
get Cuticura. washed with Cuticura
Soap. applied Cuticura Ointment, and
took Cuticura Regolvent as directed
! could brush the scales of my face
Ike powder. Now my face is just az
clean as II ever was-Mrs En- ma
White, s41 Cherrier Place, Camden,
N. j.. April 20, '05."
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

Every housekeeper should know
that If they will buy Defiance Cold
Water Starch for laundry use they will
save not only time, because 1t never
sticks to the iron, bur because each
package contains Is Ozone full
pound-while all the other Cod Water
Starches are put up in 3-4.pound pack
ages, and the price is the same. 10
cents. Then. again, because Defiance
Starch Is free from all injurious chem
ica1s. If your grocer tries to sell you a
1907. package IL ID because he has
stock On hand which he wishes to
dispose Of before he puts In Defiance.
He knows that Defiance Starch hN
printed on every package in large let.
ters and figures rs ozs." Demand
Defiance and save much time and
money and the annoyance OF the iron
sticking. Defiance never sticks.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

Out upon the soured. scribblIng
banes who are pcrpetually prating OF
their bill! Heaven knows the world
has sorrow enough without making
record Of I'll We are not ministers of
woe and scourges OF humanity and
retributive executioners. Ys are min.
listers. Ye are merry.makers. Ye are
mountebanks. Lo. your rash audi
ence waiting patiently with their trac.
table emotions! Do not say TO them !:
This ID ordurc. these are maggotsl
Death turks In everything" They
know It. Cover the unsightly things
with shawls Of silk and scattering Of
roses! We know, We know. We merry
cynics. Ay, friends, that II the poets
duty: to make things beautiful and
pleasant. to gid the furnished world.
New Orleans TimesDemocrat.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23
Could Not Find Numbers.

The truth of this story liz vouched
for by a court clerk: ut happened in
q colored church. Sitting in the rear
Of the edifce two negroes were en-
gagged In playing craps. One Of tho
men threw the dice on tho settee at
the same time the parson announced
his text in loud tone: Brethren.
Luke Ill The gaming negroes
jumped to their feet and presently
the biggest fellow Of the two said.
'PArsohn. Use lukin' as hard as ah kin
lux, but all doan gee elder o. dem
numbers "-Brookiyn Eagle.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

II you should have Burn. a Brulse. q
Pain or Ache,
No nau8eous, noxious nostrums should
you take.
Bite or Sting,
Don't get alarmed and take Just any
thing,
But use the King OF Cures for Just
such woes.
Its name ID Hunts Lightning OIL.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

Dozens Of society. women In New
York are under constant treatment fo
keep themselves down TO the limit
$40 pounds. Mrs. Herman Oclricha.
one Of the leaders of the Newport get
has conquered in the war she has
been waging against increasing
weight. Not only has she checked
the progress of the arch enemy Of
womanhood. but she has reduced her
weight amazingly. From n stout ma
trpu she has transformed herself into
the figure Of girl. but only after
years of patient effort and grim deter,
minaiiOn From her normal weight
of 100 she has reduced herself TO 100
by ayatem Of selfdenial that would
be accounted cruelty If enforced upon
poor woman.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

Robert Christy. "A venerable British.
or now Visiting this country reninis.
Gently tells Of his long acquaintance
with the prince Of Wales. now King
christening when "a baby. All Of the
stores Of the empire were illuminated
that night, and Albert Edwards in
itialg. "A. e." were displayed in all Of
the windows. when one Of the court
tera remarked: Before he wears the
crown the lad'Il need the other three
vOwels"
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23
Jamea Belong McGregor of North

James Bcllous McGregor of North
Newport. N. H., believed to be the
oldest Freemason In America, cele-
brated his one hundred and fourth
birthday last week. His father was
1O1 years old when he died in 1864
Mr.. McGregor. a wonder Of mental
and physical vitality. spends part OF
every day at work in the field He has
lived in North Newport over ninety
years. He Joined the Masonic frater.
nifty eighty years ago In Salisbury, n.
H., in lodge which went out of OK.
istence in 1866 It Is his pride that
never since he reached the age Of q
has he missed voting the straight Dem.
Ocratic ticket.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23
Don't Be Irritable.

IAN irritated skin makes an irr..
table person, and an irritable perDo1
gathers much trouble unto himself D
herself. as the case may be. Moral:
Use Hunts Cure. one box Of which Ia
absolutely and uDqualifedly guaran-
teed TO cure any form Of skin trouble.
Any kind OF itching known is relieved
at once and one box cures"
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23
RIDE WOULD De LoNo.
Some Figures - TO an Excursion to
the 9tara

the stars
It Is very difficult to conceive at
what an enormous distance We arc
from the stars. In 1ecturing on as
tronomy Sir Robert Ball has found IL
hard to impress upon his audience this
fact. 30 he now asks his listeners to
suppose that a railway hss been made
from London to one Of the most re-
mote stars. X only one penny per
hundred miles were charged the faro
would run into fabulous sum.
Az an instalment on account Of his
ticket the impending passenger might
commence with taking to the booking
ONCE the while Of the amount Of tho
national debt OF the United Kingdom
which. In govereigns would require
over 5000 large vans to carry it. But
before third-class single ticket could
be issued the would-be excursionist
would have TO pay further install
ment Of G103 .000.eO Calculating
this amount at tenpepce per 100
miles, one gets a dim notion OF how
far away some Of the stars are.--Lon-
don Telegraph.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23
Changes Made by Modern Life.

Most Of the salt Of life disappeared
when gentlemen left on wearing
swords, and true politeness went out
with the last duel. The military have
always recognized the enormous i'm
portance Of trimmings, and 1t In only
the ferocity Of modern guns which
obliges our generals to disguise them.
selves In unlovely khaki. and to hide
thsiy plumes, shoulder straps and rib
bons. These essentially feminine gee.
gAws come out on every occasion ex.
cept when they have = business ap.
pointmsnt with the enemy in the nsld.
-Exchange.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23
Derivation OF London"

What In the derivation Of the word
"T.ondon2' The usually accepted one
is tho Celtic "Liyu.Din," or lake city.
referring TO the historical fact that
the city waB built on II river that over
flowed at full tide and half surroup I
ed II. Other pbilologiats have derived
II from "llawn" tfuilj and "dyn"
(man). Others again from Ton" g.
plain and dun" Ia hilD. But the
derivation LunDen or grove city"
seems more probable than most o.
these. The name occurs in wooded
parts OF Scandinavia to this day.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23
Dispute Over Moliere,

There are two tablets In Paris In.
forming the sightseer that he is pass.
ing the house where Mollere was
born. One Is In the Rue du Pont Neuf:
Sauval, where it meets the Rue st.
Honore. One inscription says that
Moliere was born In 1920 and the
other in 1922. Some time ago thors
were two houses In which Moliere
was said to have died
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

The Houston 4 Texas Csntrail rail
road takes pleasure In announcing the
inauguration Of through sleeper serv.
ice between Houston and Denver. and
Galveston. Houston and st. Louis. the
Honston-Denyer sleeper running vis
the II. 4 r. G. to Fort Worth, r. w.
d. G. 1.-THE Denver road)' and Colorado
4 Southern Ry. TO Denver, and the
Galveston, Honston.5t. Louis sleeper
running via the g., II. 4 N. TO Hous.
ton, H. 4 r. G. to Denison and NJ, X.
& T. Ry. to st. Louis.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

In the situation wanted column Of n
London newspaper. this advertisement
appeared recently: Il do not know
everything, but | will undertake. any.
thing. anywhere. any time. know
America from pork yards 10 the hub
Of culture. Australia from Kauri to
Bottletree; The continent taught me
French. German and other things: In.
milar with all stocks. deeds and law
yers' genial ways. can draw and plan
To scale. reviewers say ! can write. 81
and tough
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

In the bird department OF the New
York Geological park especial atten'
ton Is paid to tanning tho birds. this
having been proved to be an impor-
tant factor in keeping them in good
health. If a bird has no fear Of it's
keeper the danger Of broken wings
and legs caught In wires Ia all but
eliminated. and If such bird should
require medical treatment. 1t can be
caught and handled without fear OF
adding to It's hurt or illness.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23
Carlisle Honored by His State.

a handsome painting of John G..
Carlisle has been received by The Ken.
lucky Historical society and placed in
the historical rooms ut Frankfort
alongside of pictures Of the former
governors and distinguished Kentuck.
lans The painting is life size. It WIS
painted in 1893. while Mr. Carlisle
was secretary of The treasury, by II.
Hulke.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23
IL Does the Work.

Mr.. w. G. Smith, Of Bartlett, Texas,
writes: Gentlemen: The sample can
Of ''DINAM1NE" seems TO do the work
all o. X. Think / could do business
with II here. Give us your terms, etc,
and oblige.
II you want to kill Johnson Grass
send us SOC In money order, NOW.
Our sample will convince the most
skeptical. All quantities guaranteed
same ~ sample. The Texas Chemical
Works, Galveston, Texas.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23
Low Rates 70 California.

One way colonist tickets will be on
sale daily via Southern Pacific. Sunset
Route, September Is to October 81
1905, inc. For schedule Of Pullman
Tourist Cars and other information
see nearest railroad agent, or write to
r. J. Anderson, Gen. Pass. Agent, Jos
HELEN. ASST Gen. Pass. Agent. Hous
ton, Texas.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

Some grocers say they don't keep
Defiance Starch. This IL because they
have a stock on hand Of other brands
containing only IL OF in package.
which they won't be able 10 sell first,
because Defiance contains 10 or. for
the same money,
Do you want is or. instead Of IL o.
for same money? Then buy Defiance
Starch. REQUIRES no cooking.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23
Hot stun.

When II comes TO making Chllis
and other fills brought on by malaria
quit their Jobs, Cheatham's Chill Tonic
ID the hot stuff"
It cures any kind OF Chills any
where, on anybody.
II has a record Of twenty years.
One bottle guaranteed to cure any one
case.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

DO you know where the deepest and hottest
srtssfsp well IN tne world is9 II ~ ~ Marlin
sxss Depth ssS9 feet, temperature lT y.
uaIysl similar 70 the famous Carlsbad. bet.
ter than Hot springs Hotel and bsthins
facilities unsmrpasssd In this south. Write TOT
fres booklet. Address Joe Levy, Msriis Ssni-
tarlum. Marlin, Tsxas.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23
KubeIik's Treasured Violins.

Jan Kubelik'g chief treasures. priced
more than all his considerable wealth.
are three violins-one q Stradivarius,
the other two being Guarnerias. The
"Strad" is worth $4,000 and the 9th
erg $40, 900 each, but Of course neither
could be bought for the market value
of all.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23
A ooop scHooL.

No blow, no impossible guarantees mol
nnbnsinessliks propositions made by Toby'a
Practical Business College, Waco, Tex,
the High Grade School for High Grade
Students. Plenty Of hard, honest work by
. corps Of highly educated persons. "That's
all" Enter any time. Catalogue free.
The home Of James Shadeless Shorthand,
the renowned parliamentary system
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23
Woman Given Hiuh Position.

Wallace Hubbard. assistant forester
Of the government forestry service
who was drowned while on canoe
trip down the Potomac. has been sue
coded by his widowed mother. Mrs
Hubbard formerly filled a position in
the interior department.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

covered q pleasant herb remedy for women s
ills, called AUSTRALIAN-LEAF. II Is the
only certain monthly regulator. Cures
female weaknesses, Backache, Kidney and
Urtuary troubles. At all Druggists o. by
mall 30 cts. Sample mailed FREE. Address,
The Mother Gray Co. LeIsoy. ". Y.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

guild: had a dull Headache and neu-
ralgic pains in the limbs and was
otherwise distressed. A few boxes OF
the pills effectually routed my ailment
and am glad to acknowledge the
benefit derived.
tSigned) CHARLES A. TOWNE.
Foster Milburn Co, Buffalo. n. Y.
For sale by all dealers. Price. SO
cents per box.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

Numerous anecdotes Of the child
hood days of tho German crown
prince have been unearthed since his
recent marriage. According to one OF
these his tutor told him that all man
kind are sinners, My father may be
n sinner" he replied hotly, but
know my mother II not"
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

Paul Morton IL elected president Of
the Equitable Life Assurance Society
at a salary Of $4,000 year.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

When y pretty girl asks to look at
mans watch, It's safe to bet that she
doesn't want TO know the time, but TO
see II there IL woman's picture In
the case.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23
Defiance ssarct, Company, Omaha, Neb.

What's the use of worrying about
whether or not We shall know each
other In heaven? Few of us really
know each other here.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

There is nothing gives mothe
more satisfaction that to have another
hate her. because then she knows ~,
is Jealous OF how smart her children
ure
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

But for the crop Of fool men in the
world whom other people have left
with money, the supply Of washerwo
men might grow TO exceed the demand.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

Nell--"How could she ever fall in
love with man who wears such loud
clothesT Belle--"You know they say
love 10 blind" Nel1-"But l never
heard that love was deaf"
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

The great trouble with us nowadays
IL that we express our views so well
that we feel no need OF taking action
about anything.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

Judge Leuders-What's your occu.
patton? Pri5oner-I'm horse thief
out OF job. your honor. Judge Leu
ders-What do you mean BY that?
PrisoDer-The automobile has ruined
my business. See?
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

The quiet OF a city is the quiet that
one most appreciates, for the sense
Of quiet in the country Is lost by want
Of contrast.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

A man can get used to anything
except the fool actions OF his rela-
tives.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

Always taking out Of the meal tub
and never putting In, soon comes to
the bottom.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

It's hard to tell which Is the most
exciting-a country literary" or d
game Of indoor baseball.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

II ! didn't have anything else against
the japanese, would like to see them
liked because they introduced the XII.
mona into this country.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23
Why Il u the Best

"a because made by an entirely differ.
cnt process. Defiance Starch Ii un-
like any other better and one-third
more for 10 cents.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23
U. s. SENATOR TOWNe
Credits Doan's Kidney Pills with a
GRATIFYING Cure

Hon Charles A. Towne, ex-U. 8.
Senator from Minnesota. brilliant or
ator, clever business man. brainy law
yer. whose national prominence made
him a formidable candidate for the
presidential nomination in 1904,
writes III the following:
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

It's the hardest thing In the world to
be frank and popular at the same
time.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

You will never be trusted IL you do
more to gain an enemy than TO serve
a friend.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23
AK Your Dealer 10, Aliens roo..Eass

Ask Your Dealer Tor Aliens Foot.Eass
A powder. II rests the feet. Cures Swollen,
Sore, Hot, Callons, Aching, Sweating Feet
and fngrowfng Nails. At all Druggists and
Shoe stores, % cents. Accept no substitute
Sample mailed FREE. Address, Allen =.
Oimsted. LeRoy, n. Y.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

Many . poor man has discovered
that the shady side Of Wall treet IL
quite long walk from the sunny side
Of Easy street.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

Are your clothes faded Use He'd Cross
Bag Blue and make them white again.
Your grocer sells IL.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

Gene y MasSis sd get rid Of Jour rhsums-
usm, eataTYh, ma1eria, eczema, c0nstipation
VlotoY resort with every accommodation for
to eomfort asd health Of chronic invalids.
W11to Ter me- boekIet hight now. Address Joe
Levy. Manager Assiis sa.isarfun, Marlin.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23
All uo.to.pate Housekeeoers

Remember that the flush Of victory
seldom cores from one-card draw.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

The people who won't listen To rea-
son are those who say they have no
reason to listen.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

A woman wants to be spoken TO az
though she were regarded ~ a person
OF some consequence.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

should be in every household. mono 20
good, besides 4 or. more for 10 cents
than any other brand Of cold water
starch.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

You are not obliged to give your
hand TO anyone; but never give your
finger.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

AS rule the man who takes pains
with his eating doesn't have to take
pains afterward
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

The bone Of contention IL generally
picked pretty clean.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

The devil asks no salary because he
likes his work - much and it ID 20
easy.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

Mr.. Geering-Wbere IL that French
chauffeur that you had last summer
Mr.. Sparker-He went back to Ireland.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

Towns in Indian Territory are pre-
pairing to fight for county seats In
event of statehood.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

After successful medical campaign
against the lazy worm" in Porto Rico,
a similar one might be undertaken In
this country. 1t il anaemia that trou-
bIes the tram'ps.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

A wise society lady getD introduced
70 her children once : month.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

The man who does not appear smart
in the eyes of his wife may still be
wise In the eyes OF the world.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

use Defiance Cold Water Starch, be-
cause II In better, and OF. more Of II
for same money.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

The number Of insane Ia London ex.
ceeds 10000.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

Gentlemen: /
am glad to en-
dorse - o n ms
Kidney Pills.
The re III 6 Il y
" n 4 r g e o m
mended TO me a
few months ago
W h g II | " a 3
feeling mlsera-
BILE. had severe
y a. ms in the
back was rest
less and Ian
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

Berlin has $4,000 telephone connec.
lions.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

Women are disposed TO blame them
selves for mistakes which belong In
other directions.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

The best laundry work Il done by tho
use Of Red Cross Bag Blue. The grocers.
Get the genuine.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

It Is better TO be good grocer than
a multimillionaire whose ideas are re-
stricted at the dollar mark.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

When Answering Advertisements
Kindly Mention This pspes.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1905-09-23

". NJ y. hovsroN-NO. 80. 1905