davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1905-07-05
-. BASS SHOES

Do want make oc Then buy pair of Bass Shoes
All leather higher and Mr. Bass advised that he has advanced
price all his Shoes about large
for while sci the old price, but only for short time
member direct Mr. Bass get regular obbers prices
which another 2c How you SOC any
sides will guarantee the best value the regular price
you buy Shoe at the old after little you
good quality.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1905-07-05
Good Measure.

"Dickey, if you had twelve marbles
and Tommy should take half of them,
how many would he have" He'd
have six of 'em, maam, an de wust
licl1in' he ever got in his life trowed
IL,
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1905-07-05

Wiggs-I never knew such a chronic
hand-sbaker as Guzzer. He insists
on shaking hands with every one he
meets.
Wagg-That's merely his plan of
shaking for the drinks.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1905-07-05
Sharks Ashore.

"Did you have pleasant voyage"
delightful. The sea was as smooth
as glass all the way across"
"See any sharks?
"Not till we got to the custom
house"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1905-07-05
-COW-OIL-ENE

mercu man mecful to his beast would be mecu
use Cow oil which will horses and
absolutely harmless and will inue
and yet the most effective of Fly Oils The family
rive as much benefit from its they belonged large herd and
the whole herd will do better Co"oi used also good for
keeping insects from plants per gallon 75c
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1905-07-05
Il Is A We'll
Established Fact

That big business be operated small ratio expense
make sales do with less each SALE
the volume that This bound tell in the long rum way
that will be profit to you. Better try
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1905-07-05
No. 34O.-TwO Zigzags.

Ii. A grain. 2. A gentle bird. 8.
A large stone. 4. Soon. 5. A bag. 6.
Solitary. Z. Part Of teapot. s. a
chill.
From l to 2, harvest poem by an
American.
Ill. A blemish. 2. A pain. 8. A
Biblical name. 4. A small article. 5.
An outer garment 6. A den. Z. A
story. S. To peel
From to 4, the author of the har-
vest poem.
No. Billion the wing.
Take a tavern from attractive and
have a wing.
Take black fluid from shutting the
eyelids quickly and have wing.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1905-07-05
No, 33S.-Hidden Birds.

1. A vowel and a sea fowl.
2. To study over and an entrance.
3. To do without and a line of things
f. To steal and within.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1905-07-05

No. 336.-JumbIed Proverbs,
1. Lal 81 ton dolg taht tiltergs.
2. Afes nibd, feas dfni.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1905-07-05

No. acknowledgements Rebus.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1905-07-05

house"
The Washington times., 1905-07-30
AN ACOUITTAL> FOR Russell SAGE

Brides ON thes Telephone Wires by
slamming Gold Eagles at them. You
are Rated far too Careful and Humane
a Person for such Shameless Frivolity. -
''Yes?" said he, Yawning to Conceal
his Interest.
BIr, Sage is noted for the Care with
which ne has ConceaId both his Interest
and his Principal for Several Decades.
In other words" F1oundered. try
ing to Hedge, you are not Believed to
be one who. were he to Visit Monte
Carlo, would Plank down all his Allow
ance on the Carmine when the Cerulean
was a Cinch- You are not Reckoned the
Kind of Character to whom one would
Hasten Brea thIessly with a Request to
exchange two Tattered Tens for Filthy
Five There are even those who Hint,
no doubt In the Bitterness Of Envy, that
If you We're about the House it would
be a Wise Precautionary Proceeding To
Sequester the Baby's Bank in the Pota-
to Bin until you were Off the Horizon
and out OF sound of the Clink. You
The Washington times., 1905-07-30
X P0rad disc via Jerusa lem

The Holy city is fast becoming one
great universal Old woman 5 asylum For
the last three years sexagenarians. sep
tuagenarians and OCtOgenarians have ar
rived at the rate of 200 TO 300 per week
They came for good, to stay and TO die
and the American tourist. especially the
pious one is not little tnconventenced
and annoyed by these cfones on account
of their queer superstitions,
Namely, they imagine. says u Jeru-
salem letter to the Baltimore Herald,
that their chances OF eternal life depend
on the number of amens they say, ana
accordingly poster the visitors of all
holy places 10 give them q chance tC.
pronounce the magical word as often as
possible.
One no sooner kneels down to silent
prayer or contemplation than half a
dozen old danes crowd around waiting
10 wind up the strangers devotion by
shouting, Amen If YOU throw them
penny. one of the iGt-they always
travel ia droSes VIII hoiler God bless
you while the rest follow her up with
Amen. Amen
The governor of Jerusalem calls il the
amen pest. but is powerlesS to protect
Visitors, as the women are nearly all
Turkish subjects. An American mission.
AIRY located here explains the situation
as folo--s:
The pious Jews Of the Orient have
held all along that paradise contained
The Washington times., 1905-07-30

1T looks like r-rain. stammered the
shy one. backing to the wall.
1T couldn't do better said RATHER
inc I'm thinking there's nothing the
worse off for little water" In e
back room Riley and McQufrk toiIed
like bearded witches over their
strange compounds. From fifty bottles
they drew liquids carefully measured
after Rtley's figures. and shook the
whole together in a great glass vessel
Then McQufrk would dash it cut, with
gloomy profanity, and they would be-
gin again.
sit down" said. Riley, and III tell
you"
Last summer me and Tim concludes
that an American bar in this nation of
Colombia would pay There was a
town on the coast where there's moth
ing to eat but quinine and nothing to
drink but rum. The natives and for
etgners lay down with Chills and get
up with fevers; and good mixed
drink is natures remedy for all such
tropical inconveniences.
so we lays in d fine stock Of wet
goods in New York, and bar fixtures
and glassware, and we sails for that
Santa Palma town on fruit steamer
that had brought in a load of lines.
On the way me ana Tim sees flying
fish and plays seven-up with the cap
tain and steward, and already begins
to feel like the high-ball kings Of the
tropic of Capricorn.
When we gets in five hours of the
country we was going to introduce to
rickeys and short change the captain
calls us over TO the starboard pinnacle
and recollects a few things.
. I forgot to tell you. boys. says he.
that Nicaragua slapped an import duty
Of 4S per cent ad vaIorem on all bottled
goods last month. The President took
bottle Of Cincinnati hair tonic by mis-
take for tobasco sauce. and he's getting
even. BarrcIed goods is free
Sorry you didn't mention it sooner. -
says we. And we bought two forty-two
gallon casks from the captain, and
opened every bottle we had and dump
ed the stuff all together in the casks.
That IS per cent would have ruined US;
so we took the chances on making that
81 200 cocktail rather than throw the
stuff away
We'll, when we landed we tapped one
The Washington times., 1905-07-30

some really choice places for those dying
within the borders of holy land Since
| time immemOrial, then. persons of the
Jewish faith, who could afford IT, spent
their declining years here. But of late
d prophet has arisen among them who
scared the old women nearly to death
by new version OF the ancient belief
1T is 10 this effect,
Women are cOnstitutionally UNIT to
enter paradise unless they GO to Jeru-
salem on or before the conclusion of
their siHtieth year. In the Holy City
they must acquire the right of burial.
must do penance by keeping the Jews
WditIng place clean and by saying amen
at least 800 times a day. Hence the
enormous exodus of ancient Hebrew
danes from all parts OF the Turkish
empire; hence Jerusalemrs boom In
{ burial lots; hence the unheard-of fact
that at least one portion of Jerusalem
enJoVS an acknowledged street cleaning
service. finally. the army OF amen-say-
efS that make life I burden to visitors
and threaten 10 crack the windows Of
the SYnagOgucS and churches
Love of family Is an acknowied
Jewish IraiJ, the more strange, then, -
the spectacle of ten thousands of Jewish
mothers. cousins. and aunts diyorcing
themselves from their Fith and kin and
often engaging in dangerous overland or
Sol journeys 10 spena tee rest e their
life anaE" strangers. in a fnrefgo
country intiniteSimal though the in
come be even in Palestine. it must suf-
The Washington times., 1905-07-30

the sunshine was still IN 1t. a thou
sand years from now you'll get a drink
like that across the bar,
well. we started Up business with
that one lire of drinks and it was
enough. The piebald gentry Of that
country stuck to it like hive of bees.
II that barrel had lasted that country
would have become one of the greatest
on earth. When we opened up of morn
ings we had a line of generals and
colonels and ex-Presidents and revolu-
tionists a block long waiting to be
served. We started in at 50 cents silver
a drink. The last ten gallons went
easy at IS a gulp- It was wonderful
stuff. It gave a man courage and am
bltion and nerve to do anything; at the
same time he didn't care whether his
money was tainted or fresh from the
Ice trust. When that barrel was half
The Washington times., 1905-07-30

the shaker. Orderly and fit are the
rules of Romance and If you hurl the
last shilling of your. fortune upon the
bar for whisky. the bartender shall
take it, and marry his boss, daughter.
and good will grow out of it.
But not so Con. For in the presence
of woman he was tongue-tied and scar
let. He who would quen with his eye
the sonorous youth whom the cIaret
punch made loquacious. or smash with
lemon squeezer the obstreperous, or hurl
gutterward the cantankerous witkaut a
wrinkle coming to his white lawn tie.
when he stood before woman he was
voiceless, incoherent, suffering, buried
beneath hot avalanche of bashfulness
and misery. What then was he before
katherine? a trembler, with no word
to say for himself. a atone without blar-
nAy, the dumbest lover that ever bab-
hled of the weather in the presence of
his divinity.
There came to Kenealy's two s1nburn-
ed men. Riley and AcQuirk. They had
conference with Kenealy; and then they
took possession of q back room which
they filed with bottles AM siphons and
jugs and druggists measuring glasses
All the appurtenances ana liquids of j
saloon were there, put they dispensed no
drinks. Ali day long the two sweltered
in there pouring ana mixing uaknowa
brews and daCnctions from the Equcrs
in their store Riley had The eduantion.
and he figured on reams Of paper, re-
ducing gallons % ounces and quarts TO
ngid drachms. McQuirk. morose man
with red eye, dashed each unsucce S.
full completed mixture into the waste
pipes with curses Gen-le, husky, and
deep. They Iaborei heavily AMI untir-
ingly to achieve some mysterious solu-
lion Ike two alchemisJs striving - re-
solve gold from ttc elements.
Into this back room one evening when
his watch was done sauntered Con. His
professional curiosity had been stirl ed
by these occult barreuders al whose bar
none drank. and who daily drew upon
Kenealy's store Of liquors TO follow their
consuming and fruless experiments.
Down the back stairs came Kather-
inc with her smile like sunrise on
Gweebarra Bay.
Good evening. Mr.. Lantry, says
she. And what is the news today. II
you please?"
The Washington times., 1905-07-30

flee for q number of things besides looo
and lodging Above ali. 1t must oag a
burial place pals and Drooms Tor cleaii-
ing, and an adopted son
Before the arrival of the afneh-sayeIs
one could lie comfortably IN JeruSd-
lems soil for 50 francs, today the PilCe
OF the least desirable burial iot IS tnFee
times that amounts only that the m
stallment plan lightens the bufden 1oI d
healthy person. But woe 10 tne olu
woman from parts unknown nose
store Of health and strength L as sIen-
der. as her resources. The graz ~ Wler.
be he Jew or Moslern. compeis iLeF 70
pay off at least 10 francs a monsh, ogC
what JOY when. In the END, the oeed IL
handed over.
The ruins of Solomon's temple. STU
ated IN the dirtiest part or the low MOS
lem quarters. are known as the Jews
wailing place" AT the 2OtO-yeaF-old WalI
they gather. every Sabbath day. 10 kiss
the stones and water them with their
tears as they sing and shout: For the
palace that lies desoate We sit IN soli-
tuda and mourn" tBut no one ever sits
down-afl stand.) II IS a curious specta-
Gle, and one can hardly blame the Mos
lems for making sport OF the walters.
But they do not CONNIE themselves to
mocISine them at their deVOtiGns.
All through the week they take care
10 deposit "A the foot of the wall every
bit Of filth they can gather or produce.
and that is where the amen sister cOTnea
in.
The Washington times., 1905-07-30
v y
Bent But Not Broke.

If I Follow you at ALL" put in Mr.
Sage at this junction, with a Temerity
that was almost Rude. considering
that I was in his Own Office where
Hospitality should have Reigned su-
preme. 7 am Expected to Gather the
signidcation that the World in Cen
eraI has Pictured me Of an Economi-
cal Bent"
Bent" I Hastily Interjected, but
not Broke. You have Grasped my Sig
nIfcance It's you with the Prefer
natural Perspicacity."
We'll" said he. seeing that you are
the finest Coagulation of UndiIuted
Gall it has ever been my Misfortune
to Sit In with a Friendly Game Of
Trade Last, will Confde in you some
thing that has Hitherto been Screened
jealousy from the Hoi-P. 1t is a
Secret I had supposed would be Buried
with me, But when had my Measure
taken recently 1 found that TO include
both me ana the Secret the Sepulcher
Sharp would have to charge More for
the Box, So may as well get Shed
of the Secret prior to my Demise"
Bending his Aged Face (Which is
the only one this Economical Gentle
man has ever provided himself With)
toward me and putting Cotton in his
Ears so that he might not be Annoyed
with the Suggestive Click of the Gas
Meter in the Corner. Mr.. Sage said in
Impressive Manner:
The Washington times., 1905-07-30
O!zesRU.

/ gone Colombia had repudiated the ma
tional debt, removed the duty on
cigarettes, and was about to declare
war on the United States and Eng
land
Twas by accident that we discov-
cred this king of drinks, and twill be
by good luck If we strike it again. For
ten months we've been trying. Small
lots at a time, we've mixed barrels of
all the harmful ingredients known to
tho profession of drinking. Ys could
have stocked ten barrels with the wl1is-
kies. brandies. cordfals. bitters. gins and
wines me and Tim have wasted. glo-
rious drink like that to be denied to the
world! IT'S a sorrow and a loss of
money The United States as a nation
would welcome drink of the sort, and
pay for it
All the while McQuirk had been care
fully measuring and pouring together
small quantities Of various spirits, as
Riley called them, from his latest pen
ciIed prescription. The completed mix
tufo was OL = FJies hioASiSo SiAS~OfSlN~
color McQuirk tasted it, and hurled it,
with appropriate epithets. to the waste
sink
Its a strange story, even if true, 50
said Con. I'm be going now along to
my supper"
Take a drink said Riley. We've all
kinds except the lost blend
''I never drink said Con anything
stronger than water. I am just after
meeting Miss Katherine by the stairs.
She said true word There's not any
thing, says she, but is better off for a
little water y
When Con had left them Riley almost
felIed McQuirk by blow on the back.
Did ye hear that?" he shouted. Two
fools are we. The six dozen bottles of
polllnaris we had on the ship-ye open
ed them yourseIf-which barrel did We
pour them in-which barrel yourself. ye
mudhead?'
Il mind, said McQuirk. slowly,
'"Twas in the second barrel we opened
I mind the blue piece of paper pasted on
the side of it"
We've got it now cried Riley
Twas that we lacked 'Tis the water
that does the trick Everything else we
had right. Hurry. man, and get two
bottles Of 'pollinaris from the bar while
The Washington times., 1905-07-30
Why the Exorbitant Reward ?

Because he replied TriumphantIy.
here on my Watch-Guard is the Fifty
Cent Piece old Extravaganza gave me
for Saving his Life"
But how" aruged I, stin I-nconvinc-
ed. did Mr.. Sage come 10 Load you
Down with such an Exorbftant Re-
ward2-
Because again replied the Man
with some Impatience. IF YOU will look
Carefully at the Edges Of the Coin YOU
viii Note that it has Bum Milling. and
the Bountifm Hand suspected that he
could not Pass it on the Apple
Woman"
There was no way to Sidestep Logic
of that Brand, so apologized for my
InquisitIveness, and Added:
I wish TO speak To Mr. Sage with a
View to setting him Right before the
Public. It may have Reached your
Auricular Orifces that Greatheart has a
Reputation away 70 the Worse among
the Toiling Masseurs, and am Anxious
to Demonstrate to them that they are
Baying up the Erroneous sapIing.
After thls Line Of Talk had been Film
mated from my System. ] was Ifshered
into the Presence OF another Atteuuated
Attendant who had me Wait several
minutes before admitting me TO where
sat the Object of my Quest brayely Re
straining himself from Breaking out
with a Threatened attack of En-
dowitis.
Withenl taking his Pencil from the
Column Of Figures ne was Welding. Mr.
The Washington times., 1905-07-30
How Two Spectators
Mixed a Marvellous
Cocktail.
1t Cost 81. 200, But Its
Effects We're Worth
the Money.
New Drink Was Sprung
on a South American
Republic.
Copyright. 1905 Press Publishing Co., New
York World.)

Copyright. 1905. Press Publishing Co., New
York World.)
~ INCE the bar has been blessed by
the clergy. and cocktails open
~ the dinners of the elect, one may
speak of the saloon. TeetotaIers need
not listen. if they choose; there is al
ways the slot restaurant, where
dime. dropped into the cold bouillon
aperture will bring forth a dry Mar
tint
Con I4antry worked on the sober side
of the bar in KeneaIy's cafe. You and
I stood. one-legged like geese. on the
other side and went into voluntary
liquidation with one weeks wages. OPP
posite danced Con. clean, temperate,
cIear-headed, polite. white-jacketed.
punctuaI. trustworthy. young, respon-
sible. and took our money
The saloon whether blessed OF
cursed stood in one of those little
''plaees" which are parauelograms in
stead of streets. and inhabited by laun-
dries, decayed Knickerbocker families
and Bohemians who have nothing to
do with either.
Over the cafe lived Kenealy and his
f5lolly iauehter katherine had
eyes of dark Irish-but why should
you be told. BE content with your
Geraldine or your Eliza Ann. For Con
dreamed of her; and when she called
softly at the foot Of the back stairs for
the pitcher of beer for dinner, his heart
went up and down ike milk punch in
The Washington times., 1905-07-30

rolls into my Reach from the various
Coughers-up who fill my Golfers up.
That is a Jest. The Feat is Impossible.
Then. Third, there would Always BE .
Doubt as TO Whether the Hands into
which the Money was Placed We're free
from a slight symptom Of Palm-Iteh.
even If I should discover Bunch of
the Blessing that I was sure was Tn
tainted as the UnfaIlen Snowflake.
Fourth, I hope I have not SO far For
gotten my Early training as to Loosen
my Grip on scripturaI Admonitions.
Some one read TO me once the Words OF
some man who said: If Meat get my
Brother into any sort Of Muddie. it's me
in the Vegetarian Camp till the Finish
or Words to that Result so. If John
r. DockafelIer Offends the Rev. Gush-
ington Sadden by Giving Crude-On
Money TO the Palm-OiI Heathen, it's
your Uncle Russ remaining out OF the
Onense Belt. See? I Won't even be an
Innocent Bystander.'
I sat Transf1xed by his Enthusiasm for
the Right. I could see that It cost him
Great Effort TO keep from Taawtng out
and having a Perfect Hemorrhage Of T.
7 drcre
The Washington times., 1905-07-30
Satisfied with Blessings Of Receiving:

Then your Plan is groped.
.sThe World Savvies my Scheme. all
Blight" said Russ. Confidently. 'It Is to
Take absolutely no Chances on Troubls
here or Subsequently. 7 was Early
taught, when was in the Grocery Busi-
ness. that it was More Blessed TO GIVE
than to Receive. Believing This. have
always been Satisfied with the Smaller
Blessing-that Of Receiving-and letting
Others get the greater one of Giving"
why did you give up work as q retail
Grocer's Clerk. Russ?' asked els there
any Truth in the Vaudeville Runor that
you saved less Money after the CASH
Register was put tn?"
Evidently the Cotton with which the
great Exponent of Wastefulness had
Upholstered his Ear-Druns to shut ouI
the Sound of the Gas Meter kept the
full Meaning OF my Question from hin'
for he Bowed me cut without another
Word
It is a Pleasure to be able to do Good
and to Clear Mr.. sage's Skirts OK the
Distressfully Common but highly Unjust
charge Of Proximity.
The Washington times., 1905-07-30

know him well enough not to Attempt to
Borrow from him. at any Rate-less
than Twelve per
You know. MIR. Sage" I Parroted
again, and this time my Nerve Held.
that among the Common mot the Pre-
ferred) People, you are Considered at
the very Least as somewhnt--'
"Yes?" he put in InterestedIy.
You are Regarded as something of
an YOU are Looked Upon IS Some one
who does not Eat Banknotcs in Sand
wiches or try to kiu the Innocent
The Washington times., 1905-07-30
ing my Name to your Checks"

ing my Name TO your Checks"
Il mean, I said with some confusion,
are you Mr.. Russell sage?"
'Ah," said he you're On. I'm
Pleased TO note your improved Intel
lisence, As soon as Cast l'p this
column of Figures ana Ascertain the
bitter Truth as 10 how much of the
Nee,iful / have squandered on News
boys and Fruitstands In the last
Eighty-three years. III be at your
Service to see what can Do you f
] beg Pardon You may Reconstruct
The Washington times., 1905-07-30

+ figure out the proportionments WITH
me pencil
An hour later Con stromed down the
sidewalk toward Keneaiy's cafe. Thus
faithful employees haunt. during their
recreation hours, the vicinity where
they labor drawn by some mysterious
attraction.
A police patrol wagon stood at the
side door. Three able cops we're half
carrying. half hustling Riley and Nc
Quirk up its rear steps. The eyes ana
| faces of each bore the bruises and cuta
of sanguinary and assiduous conflict.
Yet they whooped with strange Jog,
and directed upon the police the feebls
remnants OF their pugnacious mad
ness.
Began fighting each other IN the back
| ROOM. explained Kenealy to Con. And
singing! That was worse. Smashed eY-
! erythins pretty much up. But they're
good men. They'll pay for everything.
Trying to invent some new kind OF cock
tail, they was. I'll see they come out AL
right in the morning."
Con sauntered into the back room 70
view the battlefield. As ne went tirougA
the haH Katherine was just coming
down the stairs.
Good evening again. 1fr. Lantrr,''
said she. And IS there no news from
the weather yet?'
still threatens r-rain.'' said Con. slip
ping past with red in his smooth. pale
cheek.
Riley and McQuirk had indeed waged
great and friendly battle. Broken bot
ties and glasses were everywhere. The
floor was variegated with spirituoug
puddIes-
On the table stood a s2-ounce glass
graduated measure. In the bottom Of
1t were two tablespoonfuIs of liquid
a bright golden liquid that seemed to
hold the sunshine a prisoner IN its
auriferous depths.
Con smelled IT, He tasted it. He
drank It.
As he returned through the haH Kath-
crime was just going UP the stairs.
mo news yet, Mr.. Lantry?' she ask
ed. with her teasing laugh.
Con lifted her clear from the floor
and held her there.
The news is" he said, that were
to be married
Put me down, sir!" she cried indig-
nantly, or I will Oh. Con. where.
oh, wherever did you get the nerve to
say it?"