davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01
TENANTS IN The pEMIJoHN.
Old Lady VIII Not Use 1t for Her sas-
safras Beer.

Clu Esuy WIN MOI use IL Tor F1er oas-
safras Beer.
Workmen while digging in the
refuse under a wagon house at Newton
farm, Merton square, found a fve-gai.
lon demijohn, once filed with rye
whisky. The demijohn probably had
been there for years. The basket
work about 1t was crumbling away.
John Clemmers, one of the workmen,
said:
"Old Mrs. Summers, over on the
pike, has been wanting demijohn,
and he took it over to her.
The house dog appeared to take
great interest in the demijohn, upset
ting it, and sticking his paw in the
neck. Then he drew out his paw
again and barked.
A green and black spotted snake
wriggled out Of the demijohn and be-
gan to twist about joyously in the
heat Of the stove. Mrs. Summers
jumped upon a table and screamed.
Another snake and another followed
the first one, until, Clemmer says, he
counted twenty-seven. With the dogs
help he killed them all.
Mrs. Summers declines to use the
bottle for her sassafras beer.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01
Mexico's GROWING Prosperity.

Mexico has been steadily growing in
prosperity for quarter of a century
thanks to the establishment of order
ly government. No longer is Mexico
synonymous with perpetual faction
fighting, of the most truculent type.
Diaz rules and order is maintained
steadily, but without recourse to Sc
verify. AS the people have no revo-
lutions to divert their time from busi-
ness, trade and commerce steadily in
crease. In twenty years imports have
risen from $2O,OOO,OOO to $75,00O,OOO,
and the exports from $700O,000 to
$43,000,O 900. OF the foreign trade of
Mexico the bulk is with the United
States, Mexican exports to this coun-
try which were $4,346,364 thirty years
ago, were $4S, 1888, ,72O in 1904 Mexioo
imported from the United States last
year goods valued at $45,S44,720,
against $5,946,SS9 in 1S74.-Boston
Transcript
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01

A few minutes later he cafled up
his house. His bookkeeper listened
to the steady voice.
THAT you, Jennie? Louis Compton.
the friend had with me, can't lunch
with us, so l will not be home until
dinner. got bite downtown. Sorry
you didn't meet Lou, but he couldn't
wait over. Get ii? Say Some years
ago you had a cousin killed by the
cars; a railroad man was asking me.
What was his name? Hart? Silas
Hart? Thanks! GcDd-by"
He turned from the instrument, wip-
ing the beads from his forehead.
IT'S tough for poor Lew" he
breathed, but If silas hadn't been in
that accident, wouldn't be telephon-
ing my second wife"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01


IT'S hard to keep your temper when
You hear your neghbOr's clucking hen
Upon the fence, and know that she
Amid your flower beds soon will be.
Your neighbor seemed the best Of men.
Why should he own a clucking hen
That turns a temper smooth and mild
To one extremely warm and wild.
It seems a shame for Christian men
To quarrel about a measly hen;
And vet my neighbor seems to feel
That I'd do anything but steal
l spoke to him about his hen
Ill never speak to him again.
He seemed to get so very wild
He claimed my dog had bit his child.
l don't care who or what he bites
/ know l stand within my rights.
No matter what my neighbors say
/ will not send that dog awayl
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01

INJURED.
CHEEKY way. 1--WE brought friend tc
lunch. Come DOWN."
Very soon, DEAR" the clear voice
echoed from some room above.
The husband hung up the receiver
with disgusted jerk, after a few
sharp words.
"Thunder!" he snorted. Lew, !
must so back to the office. The man
can't wait, and the matter is too i'm
portant to go over. I'll return in sn
hour"
I'll go with you" said Wix in a low,
quick whisper. While you are busy,
I've bit of business to attend to-"
No, Lew; stay and lunch with Mrs.
Branch"
Sam, I'd rather go with you. l
doa't wish to be impolite, but"
His tone was scarcely audible.
We'll! come along, then I've got
to hustle" Branch turned to the
stairs.
Jennie" he called, wait lunch I
have to see a man who just tele-
phoned. Sorry; we1l be back by two
o'clock"
Not waiting for a reply, he hustled
out. Wix was ahead of him.
In silence they hurried along,
Branch absorbed, his companion strid-
ing mechanically.
Presently Wix spoke.
Your wife has a pleasant voice,
Sam"
Yes, yes, she has. Confound it! 1
ought to have had that deed regis
tered"
did I hear you call her Jennie?"
Guess SO! Names Janet, Janet
Shelton, Jennie to me. Drat that
deed Pardon my not listening, old
man. I've some thinking to do"
At the corner Wix halted, putting a
OBTAINING hand on Branch's shoulder,
a firm, affectionate grasp.
"I'll leave you here and take a cab"
he sal dcalmly; there's car going
your way. Shake hands, Sam, for
luck. feel sort Of lost in this great
city, but Ill reach you at your Office
before lunch"
"Sure!" answered Branch, absently
pressing the extended fingers. Good
by, for now, Lew"
"Good-by," said wix. "Good-by."
When Branch had finished his busi-
ness, he glanced at the clock in the
main Office.
IT'S time Lew showed up he com
mented. 'Hullol here's a messenger
boy From him. I'm afraid. yes"
He signed the receipt book, tore
open the envelope and stood rigid,
staring
mo answer" he said, thickly.
The lad strolled out, whistling.
Branch sank into a chair, and
again read the note. Slowly he tore
1t to bits, dropping the pieces listless-
ly in the waste basket.
"And he says / must never let her
know" came his inaudible murmur.
Lord save usi To think that | went
and married his girl"
Branch was man of expedients,
and one to sllav SUSPICION.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01
Copyright 1906. by Daily story Pub. cO.o

Branch looked up from examining
the mortgage deed spread upon hi
desk.
A shadow had fallen across the pa
per- blocking the light from the near
by door Of his dingy private Office.
We'll, sir!" he interrogated brisk
ly, what can l do for your"
you can give me your hand, Sam.
ut isn't Lewis Wix? Lew! 1t can't
bel"
'Yes, 1t is," laughed the caller, as
Branch sprang up. Same old six.
pence. I'm tickled to death to fnd
you. First thing did when | reached
the city was to hunt directory. Ran
my finger down the BIS Branch, S.
w. & Co.'-that's Sam, said I, and
never even stopped for bite to eat.
Your old grip feels good. It's twelve
years since last felt il"
Twelve years! Is that SO? I'd lost
all track. Sit down, old man. You are
going to lunch with me at my house.
right away. Where have you been?
What do you do? You're looking fat
and gay. Made money? Married."
"One thing at time" smiled Wix.
Eyes, I'm prosperous at last, after my
ups and downs. Mining properties
solid ones. I've been all over the
West. Denver's my home; that is, as
much Of home as have"
Not married, then?"
No, not yet. Hope to be in due
season. Think I've changed much,
Sam?"
Mighty little. Pshaw! you want to
hurry up and settle down. Now, let
me see. know some nice girls"
Hold on" interrupted Wix, grin
ming. "The fact is, Sam, I've come
East on that very errand. and"
Il see. l see. And old affair, eh 2"
That's it. Dear me! I've got to
locate her. It's so long since heard,
and she--to tell the truth, we both
stopped writing years ago. 1t seemed
SO hopeless wandering around, a
poverty-strscken prospector, and the
poor girl, waiting. Those letters grew
to be too narrowing. They dropped
off. simply couldn't bring myself to
worry her with constant reports of
bad luck. Besides, my whereabouts
were uncertain. Finally, l wrote her
cousin, who knew of our feelings for
each other, telling him how things
stood, and ne was to let me know il
anything happened to her. As I've
never heard, I'm sure she is still in the
old town, still waiting"
'I'll Vet she is," cried Branch, en-
You'll find her, Lew.
She will be Just as young in your
eyes, and you in hers. Say! why
not be married at my house? It's
real romance. must tell my wife
about it."
Il remember Mrs. Branch and your
It's splendid of you to be
so kind, Sam. Maybe we'll take up
that Offer
Dear! Dear! my wedding! Lew,
you didn't know, of course. lost
Anna within year, Never thought
to find anyone to take her place. but
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01
HIs Snort.

Nov, If this latest wholesale mar
ryin scoundrel should happen to git
loose" snarled the Pohick philoso-
pher: "I'll bet he'd have an offer OF
matrimony inside O. thirty minutes.
An yet we wonder at our divorce sta
tisics!"
So saying, he launched kick at the
postoffice cat that had it reached its
mark would have seriously discom-
noded that feline.-Louisyille Courier
Journal.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01

An old negro woman carrying a bas-
ket of clothes was crossing 18th street
at Main recently when a street-rail-
way iagman warned her to look out
for car She paid no attention to
the warning and the car barely missed
her. you want to be more careful"
said the fiagman. That car almost
hit you"
1T wouldn't add no hahn eff 1t had
a-hit me-" replied the woman, "dese
heah clothes amt washed yiL"--.
Kansas City Times.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01
II MIaht Be Arranged.

"As far as l am concerned" she
said, I'D rather be an old mans dar-
ling than young mans slave"
rs there no hope for me, then?'
the trembling boy asked.
well, of course, If you really care
for me-and-and wish to have me.
l suppose l could persuade papa to
give you a job"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01
His BrioI1t Idea.

Balloonist-"What have you got as
ballast to throw overheard when we
want to tighten the balloon?"
Assistant-"A keg aY beer. Sure,
we can dhrink it whin we want to
tighten the balloon instid av t'rowin'
it overheard, an nawthin ull be
wasted! Cleveland Leader.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01
Even.

perhaps this nickel will pass" said
the tobacconist, as the customer paid
for the cigar, "but I'm not sure"
Whats the matter with it?" de-
manded the customer, putting at the
weed.
"Well, it isn't as good as it might
be-"
well, neither is this cigar" ."-Phila-
delphia Ledger.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01
The Rich Mans Rlesslnn.

Lottie-Dottie Scadds has more
nerve than anyone know.
TOttie-What's she done.
Lottie-Her father expostulated
with her on her extravagant habits
and she told him he ought to be
thankful to have a daughter who was
such a wealthy heiress!
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01
Same Old PLANT

The Lady-"It seems to me these
berries are rather SMALL
The Peddler-"Pm sure they have
got their full growth, ma'am."
The Lady, Possibly; but I'm quite
sure your quart boxes haven't got
theirs"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01
Anxious 10 Accommodate.

Fat gentleman (gasping)-W-what
do you m-mean by making m-m.me
run after the car so? III p-probably
die of-apoplexyl
Polite Conductor-Yes, sir. Transfer
to some car going past the morgue,
Cleveland Leader.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01

she-What would you do, George. il
you were left a widower? He-Oh,
suppose pretty much the same as you
would if you were left a widow. She
Oh. you wretch And you always
told me that you could never love any
body else,-Pick Me Up.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01
cotton MN al shanahaI.

Shanghai has a new cstton mill
owned by native Chinese company,
with a mandarin as president. The
mill has 10000 spindles, and the cot
ton used Is Of Chinese growth. The
help numbers 1000, all women and
children
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01

Alice-"Maudc is going to have a
birthday this month. She says she
will be 32"
Kate-'Is that sol l didn't know
this was the year. You know Maude
has birthday only once in every four
years now"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01
Why He Nodded.

Did the editor approve of your
poem?"
Wen, when read it to him he
nodded"
Indeed. And what did he say when
you had fnished?"
"oh. He was asleep then"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01
Lovely Game.

Gracious, children; whatever are
you doing?"
"Oh, mummy, we're playing at
sweeps and we've blacked baby's
face and I'm putting her up the chin
ney cos she's the only one thatu ft."
London Tattler.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01
An Expenslve AccIdent.

Howell-Are you believer is as
trology?
Powell-Sure; an astrologer once
told me that would meet with an ac.
cident and the next day fell off the
water wagoa.-Town Topics.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01

Ragson 90 friend in hotel bed-
the keyhole. Niu
Iagson-call a bellboy. lust pot
IN myself and don't know where Il Il
either Detroit Free Press 80
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01
Couldn't See the Joke.

"He evidently has no sense os hu
NOR"
None whatever. | have seen him
mad enough to fight just because a
small boy knocked his best hat of
with SNOWFALL and sent it flying into
pool of muddy er"-Illinois
State Journal.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01
None Ahead Of Aim.

Wade-There goes one OF our first
citizens.
Parker-He doesn't look it--what
has he done?"
Wade-It isn't anything he has done.
but his name is Abraham Aarons. and
his name has been arst in the city
directory fer fourteen years.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01
The WAY Il Affects You.

1--WE explained to you what trunk
and branch mean," said the teacher
Of the botany class; now who can
tell me what 'sprig' means?"
Il know" cried Tommy, 1t means
that you've got cold in your head
when you try to say spring."
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01
What Worried Tommy.

Sunday school teacher-Who was it
that the whale swallowed?
-Why-er-er-
Sunday school teach-Come, now,
that's an easy question.
Tommy-Oh, it amt the question
that bothers me, but the answer.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01
Vain Reoret.

There is only one thing I am sorry
for, said the man who had been beat
Gu Ii Il lawsuit
What's that?" asked the sympa.
thetic friend.
MY lawyer, iii addressing the jury
called them gentlemen instead Of
horse thieves. 1t would be such
satisfaction now If he had told the
truth. Illinois State Journal.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01

Ray-"Do you believe in ideals?"
Fay-"Yes, indeed. They prevent
life from being monotonous. 1t keeps
cne busy you know, watching them go
to smash"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01
chose the less q Two EvIIa.

First millionaire-Im in trouble. My
daughter wants to marry our coach
man.
Second millionaire-Going to give
your consent?
First millionaire-Guess I'll have
to. If don't she swears she'll marry
q British duke.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01
At His Word.

Eyes, yer honor. was once IN the
penitentiary. | own it."
Il will send you back for another
three years for perjury. You do not
own It. The state does
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01
Good, Indeedi

ieas.-"And ST. you say she m,tlss a
good Welsh rabbit?p
crimsonbeak-"Good? Why. NV how
lts 50 good that you stay awake Al,
night thinking about it,u ="
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01
Her Reason.

"Why did you rush up to that newly
elected officer?7 said one delegate to
woman's convention. YOU don't like
her"
That's true answered the other.
Il wanted a chance TO help push her
hat over her eyes. Washington Star
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01

Bacon-Is he saving. did you say?
Egbert-My, yesl Why he even
talks through his nose to save his
tongue.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01
Innocent.

Lodginghouse Keeper-Have you
taken a bath, my man?
Homeless Homer-No, sir, I'll
swear ter goodness, guv'noF, If Tiers
one missin' it wasn't me what took II.
Yer kin search me If ye wanterl
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01
Some Improvement Expected

Editor Ito artist)--I refused this
drawing year ago. Why do you
bring it here again.
Artist thought you would have
more experience by this time and
know good drawing when you see
1t.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01

school boys when they alighted from
their car. to walk block. laughing
over "reminiscences, then to run up the
wide steps of Branchs handsome
house.
you have a charming home," OBJ
served Wix, gazing about from the
hall; "I'll model mine after yours.
guess"
The telephone in the corner rang
sharply.
my call" said Branch impatiently.
"Wait moment"
Hi, wifey!" he shouted in his
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01

Keeping One Weakness Concealed.
you're such wretched writer it's
wonder you wouldn't get type
writing machine"
Il would, only that would show
what a miserable speller am"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01

"I'm tickled to death to find you"
I've not regretted my second step. No
sweeter woman ever lived. About
four years ago l ran across her, and
it took ten months to get her consent
Poor, too, and had everything to
give her. Come, you're hungry. Let's
start for lunch.
Don't try to condole,' he pursued,
hastily closing his desk. as Wix be-
gan sympathizing stammer It's
always wise to repair a loss. and I'm
happy with things as they are. Talk
about something else. I've dealt in
real estate ever since started in.
Any good land out your way?"
The old friends we're chatting like
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-06-01


Jacob had just kissed Rachel.
Then he lifted up his voice ana
wept.
"Why do you do that?" asked Ra-
chel.
Because" he sobbed, ut didn't
seem to surprise youl am not the
first young man you have kissed!
But he forgave her to such an ex-
tent that he served her father four
teen years for Chicago Tribune.
Liked II So.
"How's business, my MANI"
Dull, sir, thank YOU"
TOO bad"
mo, sir-like 1t that way"
"How's that-are you lazy?'
mo, sir-Im a scissors grinder"
Holbrook argus., 1905-07-29
Saved Their Love Letters.

People who were present smiled at the little passage at arms which took place between two young women at a popular cafe yesterday afternoon. One of them, bride, shaking hands ill her characteristic cordial way, said to the other: 'I'm so glad to meet you. You have afforded me so very much amuse- ment lately"
 "Amusement?" said the other.
 "Oh, yes," went on the bride. i've been through my husbands desk, and I've read all his old love letters. l found several very affectionate letters, from you, and enjoyed reading them, really, ever so much"
 "I am so glad you enjoyed them," purred the other. But do come and see me very soon. Here is my card. have the answers to all those letters, and you might like to read them as well. AIr. Ks letters are so much more affectonate than those 1 wrote to him. l know you'll enjoy reading them ever so much more than you did mine" Seattle Post-InteIligencer.
Holbrook argus., 1905-07-29
Diplomacy in the Kitchen.

When Toku, the little brown man-of- all-work, first arrived at Elsie's she was afraid of him; it seemed odd for a woman who was left alone all day to employ a man to cook and sweep. But it needed only two days to prove the wisdom of the move. Toku was more than clean and thorough and willing and intelligent-he was born diplomat.
 At noon on that second day of his service there came knock at the kitchen door, and behind the knock appeared a burly tramp, with hard luck story and bad look in his eyes. Toku was suave and dignifed. He heard the story, so maneuvering that the tramp was standing on the door, step instead of inside when he had finished the fairy tale. Then:
 You like fish?' asked the son of Japan.
 Fletcher lifev grinned back the caller. "Got any?"
 And as the door slammed, the sur prsed tramp heard: Lots! Come Friday"
Holbrook argus., 1905-07-29
Only a Fair Average.

Some sorts of computation are dis concerting. People who can always See that two and two make four are not invariably popular.
 "How much you going to charge the Ransom folks for old Bill?" asked MT. Martins nearest neighbor referring to the transfer of well-seasoned horse.
 "Seventy-fve dollars" was the an swer, given with visible reluctance.
 The neighbor puckered his lips to whistle and then thought better of it..
 Well, I don't know as that's high, considering Bills age" he said, medi- tatively. "Le's see, that makes him come to about three dollars a year, don't it? Don't seem so exorDltant when you look at 1t that way, after allv'
Holbrook argus., 1905-07-29
initiate the Czar's Army.

Unfortunate as the Russian soldiers have been in the present war, they have the consolation of knowing that their tactics are greatly admired by the troops of the Emir of Bokhara.
 A French traveller in Asia reports that the favorite military exercise of the Emir's warriors is to lie on their backs at the sound of the trumpet and kick their legs in the air. PerpleXed by this singular action, the visitor made inquiries and found that it was borrowed from the Russians, who, when they were subduing Bokhara, had to wade through many streams, and, when they reached dry ground, used to lie on their backs to shake the water out of their boots.
 Greatly struck by this performance, the natives took it to be a sign of military efficiency, and hastened to strengthen their own fighting force by adopting it.
Holbrook argus., 1905-07-29
4 Itainnceu Account.

"A fair exchange is no robbery" So the textbooks have taught us, and now another instance, quoted by the New York Tribune, arises to illustrate the proverb anew. An American, well known for his wealth, receives innu- merable letters asking him to sub scribe to charities, and often, when the credentials of the project seem du- bious, he has to refuse.
 Not long ago he had letter from London, signed by an unfamiliar name "Knowing as l do your gener- osity," the stranger wrote, T have put you down for a two-hundred-dolla sub scription to our miners widows fund. Christmas is approaching, and we pro- pose to give a fowl and a Christmas pudding to each miners widow, on Christmas eve"
 The millionaire replied: Though l know nothing of you or your fund, 1 respond gladly to the call you make upon me. I, too, am interested in a charity similar to yours. It is an American charity, and since it stands in need of funds for Christmas treat l have not hesitated to put you down for subscription of two hundred dol lars. Thus no money need pass be- tween us"