The Black Hills union and western stock review. [volume] (Rapid City, S.D.) 1904-19??, 1905-12-29
AND 1T DIDN'T HAPPEN.

=
other, l can't get over feeling that :
the mainland,' the Americans down
yonder get into the habit of calling
the 81 IS, said a brorzed young army
OH Just back from the Philippines.
However, there doesn't seem 10 be any
way for me to get even. T. can't fasten
it upon anybody. l suppose that I'll
have 10 figure it out that 1 cheated my
sell. and then charge it up to profit
and loss.
In order To understand What I'm
Tying to get at, you'll need to be in
Formed that when | rode down from
San Francisco TO Manila on the trans.
port n couple of years ago l was prob
looked upon Death. with q capital d, as
the finest proposition that had ever
been contrived or Invented.
Il was mortally Sea-Sick from The
mInute the transport passed out of the
tiate. and long before the ship reached
the Fanallones-which ran easily be
1iScerned from the hills of San Fran
..isco on a clear day. was w%allowing
i'll my bunk u%nraveling the blessed
meanings of the word '~euthanasia' and
"asting longing eyes at the twin razors
stuck in the rae above my water
jug;
ii tumbled u on deck, a mere wisp
and wrath, five days out from San
Francisco. to endure the grins OF the
r%uffians of my company, Who hadn't
got sick themselves. We touched Hon
olulu on the eight day, and l hustled
ashore, half determined TO resign my
commission by cable and settle down
in Hawaii for life us d ~timekeeper on
9 plantation, or something. 1t Was hard
~. ,s,r r-,.A -l,, ~ t1N ~
age to Manila, particularly when the
Honolulu chaps J. met ch%eerfully in
formed me that we ought to have Il
bully rough time of it after leaving
Hawaii. since we We're then in the mid
die of ii typhoon season on the south
seas However, the reflection that 1t
would look craven on my part 10 quit
ut Honolulu kept me from visiting the
cable office there, and, after driving
around gorgeous and Incompatible
Honolulu for q few hours I went over
the gangplank of the transport once
more. wistfully hoping that I'd got all
the sea-sick dose that was coming TO
me
Say. the transport hadn't coached
Pearl harbor, on the "a out Of the
Honolulu waters, before l was fiat on
my back in my bunk again shaking
both fists at my shadow on the wall,
and internally and Internally raging
over the fact that Dewey hadn't pulled
away from he Philippines the minute
he sank the Spanish fleet. I was in a
state of acute, IND hopeless and inrre-
mediable gloom. not only during the
remainder of the cruise to Manila, but
for Il week or ST after making that
port. and when 1 finally got my foot on
terra tirma l shook lands with Il SOL
m VOW and said: Let Rome in Tiber
melt, and the wide arch of the rang'd
empire fall; here is my space 1
meant it, too, at the time. J. intended
never to so to sea no more. nowhere.
nohow. I'd get transferred to the
constabulary, ] said to myself after my
tour of the country had expired, or I'd
take to the high country and engage in
the bligand business, or I'd buy a bum
boat and sell mangoes and pineapples
and smoking tobacco to the swaddies
just arriving on he transports in Ma
lila harbor-but climb on board another
boat bound for the deep water Z vowed
in my throat l wouldn't.
We'll, my outfits tour expired a cow
pie OF months ago., and when we got
out m back to the mainland /
didn't feel ike tossing up my commits
sion, although the memory of the
cruise down Was just as poignant as
it had been on the day l debarked
at Manila. After all, q lifetime spent
in the Philippines wouldn't be Just
the thing for me, and besides, I kind
o. hankered to see my folks, let alone q
-er-well, she lives here in Washing
ton. o ~know-and so l decided that
instead Of resisning, I'd rubber around
among the seasoned salts / met and
try and find out if there really wasn't
some way of side-stepping sea-sick-
ness. ] decided to try every blamed
thing Hat every mar who'd ever been
to sea suggested.
l wish / could remember one-ifth
Of the remedies they gave me-that
obtained or bought the remedies my
self. No two of them had the same
dead-cinch and certain cure for sea-
sickness. And their suggestions DIFF
fered as widely as the poles.
Il spent a fortnight tabulatlng these
suggestions and in adopting each and
every one of 'em. Bought enough
lines. and champagne and vinegar and
claret and other truck to start a gener-
al store in Dawson City, and sent it
aboard the transport to be placed in
readiness in my cabin. When I tried
to get into my cabin on sailing day l
couldn't: there We're too many boxes
and barrels and baskets and bottles
containing sea-sick remedies for me to
so much as push my way through
to my bunk. l had to jettison some of
that cargo n place it in charge of
the steward, but when the anchor was
pulled up and we got under way / had
the satisfaction of feeling that 1 was
prepared for my and all contingencies.
And here's where the cheating be-
gins. Only three hours out we got into
a nasty blow. The transport danced
up and down the pillows like a royal
marine on parade, and the higher She
rode and the deeper she plunged the
better l liked it. When she wallowed
in a veritable valley on her beam ends.
shaking from stem to stern, during the
typhoon that we encountered the third
day out l was tickled almost foolish.
III wallower the merrier for mine. At
the outset, the Indians holding COM
missions in my company traipsed SOL
EMMY into my cabin, expecting to find
me curled all up, and smoking vicious
black cigars in my face. I touched
'em for all the smokes they had in
their pockets and Joined them. A cou-
pie of subalterns brought in a smoking
pan Of fried salt pork, under pretense
that they wanted me to inspect it for
the mess. I clapped three or four
11ioonS .nft tho Srnol3ro ,DrY, 80. n..-,E-