The Sauk Centre herald., 1905-04-13
MEMS COLUMN
Men ought to know that:

"A woman does not think she cal
talk too much when the days are onl..
twenty.four hours long.
"A young lady always thinks
man 8 wardrobe could be put in he
closet without crowding.
l In the war of words women ar
always the best soldiers.
I The prettier the nurse the longe
it takes the masculine invalid to re
cover.
| "A boy is not afraid to go home il
swimming time with his shirt or
wrong side out if there is a grand
mother in the house.
Young ladies are not apostles even
if they are fishers for men.
There is nothing more pitable than
wife who is afraid of her husband
except a husband who is in terror oi
his wife.
There isn't any real difference be-
tween a woman with a mission and
a nuisance.
The only way you can stop a
woman from having her own way
when she makes up her mind to have
it is with gatlin' gun.
"A girl with pretty teeth seldom
smiles in the dark.
When mans wife telephones to
her husband to ask what he wants for
dinner he always knows she desires
something.
Married men smile when theorists
talk about the weaker sex.
When you see two or more women
in close conversation it is a safe bet
they are talking about some man.
"A woman who will wear a dead
bird on her hat is never considerate of
those she loves.
The reason grandparents enjoy
grandchildren better than they did
their own, is because they don't have
to walk the floor nights with them.
The plumper the girl the less
goods it takes to make her a bathing
suit.
"A woman likes to be promised
nice things even if she knows the
promise will never be kept.
"A woman never boasts of her age
till she is over hundred.
"A lie that makes people happy is
better than a truth that makes people
unnecessarily sad.
Men sometimes boast of their
wickedness; women never do
"A love of hat is always dear.
"A girl will often put herself in a
dangerous position for the sake of
being rescued.
You can never make a mother
understand why others can't see her
baby's fine points as we'll as she can.
If you always agree with woman
she thinks you are foolish; if you
contradict her she gets mad.
If girls spent as much time
acquiring useful knowledge as they
do wondering how an engagement ring
would look on their finger the world
would soon be full of female philos-
ophers.
"A woman always thinks she is
getting goods for nothing if she can
pay for them with a check.
Few women believe that part of
the bible which says there are no
marriages in heaven.
After man has been married |
twenty years nothing makes him so
much like a fool as to have his wife
read his old love letters to him.
"A woman can think OF more |
things that has to be done in thirty
minutes after her husband goes to
bed than she can in all day when he
is up around the house.
"A girl whom money could not
hire to do housework for woman will
gladly do it for nothing for some
man.
When science removes all OBJ
stacles from the pathway of men,
greatness will cease to exist.
The man who stays the most away
from his home nights is the one that
talks the most about women gadding.
The girl with diamond rings
always claims it is her deal at card
party.
Nothing makes a middle aged
gray-haired wife SO provoked as to have
her husbands hair and beard retain
its natural color.