Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1905-03-11
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| married struggling young man. He
Yes, he struggled all right, but he
| couldn't get away.
Dolly-He's one of those men who
! won't take no for an answer. Madge
What are you going TO do? Dolly
Why, tell him yes.--Town Topics.
Fricnd-What is hope? Poet-It'S
something that wakes you up MT four
o'clock in the morning when the post
man doesn't come around till ten
Rams Horn.
/ He-My father is a banker, and has
never been inside theater In his life.
| She-Really? My father is an actor,
and has never been inside bank ia
! his life.-Judy.
Newrich--How'd you get along at
/ the dinner? Mrs Newrich- Fine.
When they eat pie with fork, done
/ 1t, too, so as not TO let 'em see their
hreak,-New York Sun.
Judge-The next person who inter
rupts the proceedings Of this court
viii De expelled from the room! Pris-
oner-Hooray! Whoopee-eel Now,
| femme go,--Chicago News.
Bank President-We're ruined! The
cashier has absconded with one hun
dred thousand dollars, Director
Don't get excited. He has left note
offering to take us into partnership.
Mrs. Oatcake Teading newspaper
Gracious me! Mr.. Murdoch has been
arrested. 1t was discovered that he
had twenty wives, and all are living!
Farmer Oatcake--O-oh! another case
of Brigham-y-P Puck.
Boarder Cwarmlyl--Oh. | know ev-
cry one of the tricks of your trade.
DO YOU think | have lived In boarding
houses twenty years for nothing9
Landlady tfrigidly)--I shouldn't be ut
all surprised New Yorker
Let me see, cynic Is aman who
Is tired of the world. in he not?" the
young student of language asked.
NO, no, my child" replied the know
ing tutor; "a cynic Is n man of whom
the world is tired. Pick Me Up.
The Senator-Why mustn't vote
for that bill? Constituent Because
the people don't want IT, Senator. The
Senator-What have the people got
to do with it2 Amt election over.
hey Louisville Courier Journal.
After the wedding He-What are
you crying for, lover She-Over
/ papa's wedding present -boo--hoo
, He-Why, what's the matter with it?
; She-Its nothing but reeeipted bill
for the gas we used up during our
! courtship. --Pick Me-Up.
= Uncle John-So you don't like your
: teacher, Tommy? Tommy (savagely)-
i No, ] don't. l wisht he was at the
, bottom of the sea! Uncle Iohn-Oh,
. come now, Tommy, That's too much
to say. Tommy Well, wlsht he
was at the bottom Of Jones' mill pond,
then Philadelphia Press,
l Just resentment; Young Husband
, Bertha, did you ask the grocer to
show You some Of those seedless beans
5 | was telling you about this morningY
| Young Wlfe-Yes, and If You want
| your slippers warmed before you put
them on you can warm them yourself,
sir. won't.-Chlcago Tribune
The Man-Your daughter telephoned
me to call and fix your piano. Her
r What's the matter with it.?
The Man--One of the strings is
, broken. Her Father-What will it
cost to repair the broken string? The
Man Two dollars. Her Father
; Well, here's So. Break the rest OF
, 'em.-Chicago News.
Paw" asked little Johnny, whats
compromised THAT, my son" re-
piled the wise father, depends on
| whom It's made with. For instance.
/ II make a compromise with busl-
E ness man, go about half way. But
if | make a compromise with your
? mother why. I--er-I 90 all the way"
Houston Chronicle
J "What do you think Of Keats ode
r on Grecian UrnT" asked Mrs. ola
Castle as they slipped their tea In the
= magnificent library. II think" her
, hostess replied IF he'd OF been a
gentleman he'd Of paid ii. Josiah says
l people never ought TO have Injuries
J that they have TO get trusted for. -
Chicago Record Herald.
l Vow, try 10 remember" said the
. teacher. that Horatius won his glory
! by his performance at the bridge. AL
I ways keep that thought in mind and
II will help you to be brave and
mobile Huh" sneored Johnny,
that amt nothin' You see my pa
and ma at bridge almost every night
in the week New York Herald.
"I wish TO get excused this after
noon" said Rizzlcthorp, as he APP
preached the general managers desk;
you see they've put me down to act
as a pallbearer at funeral Ger
tainly. 90 ahead. But you don't seem
to feel very sad about it, NO He's