davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Havre herald. [volume] (Havre, Mont.) 1904-1908, 1905-04-13
PAST HISTORY AGAINST HIM

A prominent young attorney of
Great Falls, who is we'll up in social
circles, told good story on himself
at the Hotel Havre Monday evening.
His wife is out of that city and he is
keeping bachelor hall with a Jap SER
want, who, before he entered the en-
ploy of the legal light, was a servant
in the house of we'll known mer-
chant of that place.
He says he went home one night
last week about 1l:3O, and makes 1T
point to insist that he was legally and
duly sober There have been nights,
he admits, when this was not the
case, but in order to make the story
good, it is absolutely necessary for the
young man to be sober on this partic-
ular night. He let himself in with a
latch key, and in reaching TO turn on
the electric light his sleeve brushed
off a delicate piece Of bric-a-brac,
which fell to the floor with a crash.
He was mad at the mishap and
wondering what his wife would say to
him on her return, went into the bath
room In reaching over to turn on
the water, he knocked big water
pitcher off the stand, and the crash
it made in falling on the tile floor
startled him so that he jumped back
and bumped into the wash-bowl, and
it too went to the floor.
Stunned by his run Of misfortunes,
and afraid to move for fear he would
break something else, the young
attorney stood in the bathroom in a
half-dazed condition, until he heard
the pit-a-pat of slipered feet coming
his way. His Jap servant walked
straight up to him, took him by the
arm. and said: "Clome on, me plut
you to bed"
"But | don't want to go to bed. |
can go to bed when | am ready
What is the matter with you, yor
Celestial heathen?"
"That's all lite; me plut you tC
bed" And he kept Juggling away
the lawyer insisting that he was not
ready to retire, and the Jap answer
ing "that's all lite," until the young
man, concluding there must be some
thing the matter with him, submitted
to be undressed and tucked into bed
The next morning the lawyer wen
down to breakfast feeling particular
ly we'll, found his plate surrounded
with little delicacies to tempt veal
appetite, and proceeded to fall to am
eat a hod-carrier's breakfast. TIL
Jap watched him with his almond
shaped eyes sticking out in astonish
The Havre herald. [volume] (Havre, Mont.) 1904-1908, 1905-04-13
| ment. and finally began to grin.

ment, and finally began to grin.
"What are you grinning at, you
copper-colored imp of the Flowery
Kingdom? You must think | was
drunk last night. Well, | was not. =
"That's all lite; that's what Mr..
Smith say" returned the servant,
using the name of his former employ
er.
"But I wasn't drunk. 1t was sim
ply by accident those things were
broken
CHATS all lite; that's what Mr..
Smith say
And now the young attorney is
wondering whether he was entirely
sober when he went home. He has
been unable to convince the Jap and
is beginning to waver a little himself,
The new enterprise., 1905-06-08
WHY ALMOST EVERY
BODY EATS EGGS,
They Are Very Easily Digested and
Furnish an Almost Perfect substl'
tute for a Meat Diet,

Almost everybody eats eggs. There
is perhaps no article Of diet that IS
more commonly eaten in all countries
than eggs. Hens eggs are used more
than any other kind, although some
people eat duck eggs, goose eggs ana
the eggs Of the guinea fowl. turkey
eggs are not so often eaten; they are
generally kept for hatching.
Eggs consist Of protein and fat,
water and mineral matter. 1t is the
protein or nitrogenous matter tlat
builds up and repairs the tissues or
the body, while the fat supplies energy,
The white Of an egg is often said 10
be pure albumcn, but it also contains
phosphoric acid and sodium chloride
or common salt. The yolR contains the
fatty part Of the egg, phosphorus, cal
cium, magnesium, potassium ANA iron'
Eggs also contain sulphur and this
probably accounts for the dark stain
left by eggs on liver
Eggs are very easily digcsted. Raw
eggs are more quickly digested than
cooked eggs. Soft-boilcd eggs, roasted
eggs and poached eggs are more easily
digested than fried or hard-boiled eggs.
The stomach viii digest q raw egg in
from one and half to two hours Soft
boiled and roasted eggs require from
two and a half to three hours, while
hard-boiled or fried eggs must be al,
lowed from three and a half 10 -four
hours for digestion.
Eggs furnish a good substitute for
meat, and we Believe it would be far
better for the average person if eggs
were more frequently used in place OF
meat.-Medical Ialk.
The new enterprise., 1905-06-08
WISE WORDS.

The more law in a land the fewer
the laws.
Liking is the effect and not ,he cause
oS loving.
Nothinc ontars fbc mind without lcav.
mo its n,orl,
-..... ...,,,., ,,u., ,,,
~, w. H!ln ""s wv p"''>N Nv" - ~
"i'i''H' 'i'o'ie' "l''
n good many SINS walk uhuer 'ne
name OF C!r'ulisU"HceS'
y man attracts ny What Is III h'n
more than What ne mas on
TO help the young soul, add energy
inspire hope, and blow the Goals into q
useful nGmc,-Ralph Waldo Emerson.
"Tbn 0ottory Of ones friends is re.
oured MS n dram TO keep un ones spir.
lis AGAINST the Injustice of ones enc.
The new enterprise., 1905-06-08
QUARTERS FOR poULTR,


The severity Of the past two winters
has emphasized the importance Of
warm, comfortable quarters for poul-
try.
Reading the market reports in any Of
the farm papers, one will at once no.
lice that n diminished egg product is
usually attributed to a cold wave.
Eggs have found a ready sale during
the past winter, and at good prices.
\ friend Of mine having forty-cight
pulcts reports a lay Of thirty-two or
thirty-three eggs per day right through
the cold weather Of January, The eggs
sold from thirty-tLrce to thirty-hve
cents per dozen. 1t does not require
an Isaac Newton to figure a fair profit
on this showing. Inquiry brought out
the fact that the pullcts were kept in
very warm quarters.
A building set back into the side hill
on one end, ana thoroughly protected
on two sides by other buildings, eX-
plains the matter. Parties having dry,
well-lighted, underground quarters
that face the south uniformly report
large winter yields of eggs. 1t costs
considerable to fit up such building at
first; but the diminished cost Of keep
fng the fowls, and the increased mum.
ber Of eggs produced will soon make
up the difference.
A failure to secure an abundance Of
eggs in winter is not always q dispen-
sation Of Providence. Not much. Old
hens have been known to lay fairly
well in winter on corn diet, but no
poultryman would think Of agreeing
to furnish a certain number of eggs
each week to customers from old hens.
Old hens may lay, but good, strong,
well cared for pullets must lay.
In summer the fowls have the
warmth, the animal food in the shape
of worms and bugs, the dry road dust
which they are so fond of wallowing
in, an abundance Of water, plenty Of
green grass, gravel and shells. Now
u all these things are furnished good
pullets in winter they must make
fairly good showing in eggs.
AS a matter OF fact, pullets often
make a pretty good showing where the
warm, comfortable quarters are not
provided, and the other items are.
Dry quarters, with vermin eliminat-
ed, are absolutely essential.
Very many furnish grain for the
fowls, but neglect to furnish meat
Praying for eggs in winter without
trying to approximate summer condi-
tions is a waste Of valuable time
Henry j. Viets, In American Cultivator.
The new enterprise., 1905-06-08
SOULS VICTORY.

Too bong he strove to parley with the TOE;
Each morrow brought the shadOwy
leCions back,
Each setting sun beheld his force laid low,
Borne down by their confederate attack.
Around the citadel from day TO day
Those, watchlul troops in deadly ambush
lay.
Til from n life Of smooth, inglorious case
He plunged into the world Of men and
things
And as the vessel on the open seas
Leaps 70 the gale that round her seethes
and sings,
Forth on each fresh, glad enterprise he
Jared,
And toilcd and served, and sowed and
rcapcd and dared,
With eyes unveiled he saw Gods earth
aircsh-
Love without lust and beauty without
stain
And 10, the phantoms that alured the flesh
Lay silent in the darkness, crushed and
slain,
Like Phoraoh's hosts upon the Red Sea
shore;
And bis own soul was his for cycrmore.
w. IL. Savile.
The new enterprise., 1905-06-08
Dog with Cowllke Hoofs.

A dog with hoofs like a COW is owned
by Daniel Brown, and is cross be-
tween a shepherd and a spaniel 1t
was purchased by Brown from Miles
Dickey, a Panhandle engineer, three
years ago, when a pup, but not until
recently did the hoofs grow on its feet,
and the owner is at a loss to know
how to account for them.
The growth has appeared on all four
feet and is as hard as horn. When the
dog walks across the board floor Of the
saloon where it is kept there is a sound
like the patterlng of couple Of chill
dren with wooden shoes.-Logansport
correspondence indianapolis News.
The new enterprise., 1905-06-08

was used for the top; ash saplings split
in two were used for the gate proper;
three two-inch holes were bored, one
for the swivel where it hangs on the
post, the others for the gate, On the
butt Of the pole was a box 70 hold stone
or weights; wooden pins were used TO
hold the whole together; whom finished
it would swing either way and it was
easy to handle when properly bal
anced.
Fig. shows the gate that has come
to stay until something better is found
to take i,e place, and l am surprised
that Mr. Wing has not seen ore and
writtcn it up long ago. 1t is made Of
common fence boards generally sixteen
feet long fastened together with wire
nails clinchod, then hung on n clcat
between two posts set close together
one Of the posts should reach up about
two inches above the gate with pivot
for the lever TO turn on, No matter
what the heft Of the gate is when fin.
ishcd, the lover can be weighted until
a small child can open or shut the gate
with ease, This gate swings only one
way.-W. +. Knowles, in Breeders Ca
zcttc.
The new enterprise., 1905-06-08

Col Sidney G. Cooke, local manager
of the Leavenworth Soldiers Home,
probably is the only man in the world
who ever sneezed a bullet out Of his
head. He was badly wounded at the
battle Of the wilderness, a Confederate
bullet having penetrated his brain. He
was taken prisoner and sent to Ander-
sonville, after having his wound
dressed by a doctor, who did not at
tempt to extract the bullet. Cooke
recovered, and the lead in his 'noggin"
did not bother him at all. One day he
commenced to sneeze and he nearly
sneezed himself to death. He sneezed
for ten days With the last sneeze
came the bullet.-Leavenworth Times.
The new enterprise., 1905-06-08
A short lesson ln PIatItuaee.

We notice that fun Is being poEed
at Vice President Fairbanks for the
platitudos Of his speeches, Of which
we seem to be in for q long series.
But We must bear In mind the simple
distinction between the solemn and
the strenuous platitule. Mr.. Fair
banks is easily the master Of the for
mer When he says, for example, that
political parties should stand for
those measures which are wholesome
he does 1t with a kind Of dying fall
which inspires general gloon, But
how easy It would be for him to add
the little more and how much 1t Is!
If he would but flercely defy world
IN arms to challenge his statement
that 1--WE gladly acknowledge one
country" or threaten to thrash wit!lin
an inch Of his life any scoundrel who
should question his affirmation that
"our laws must be inspired by a sense
Of justice" he might fairly nope to be
compared to Pericles, and to be listen
ed TO by his aWe-struck countrymen as
an avatar Of eloquence and wisdom
IF you wish to see me weep" says
Horace, in his famous advice 10
American orators, make your plau'
tudes strenuous"
The new enterprise., 1905-06-08

by bylocalapplicatioas as they cannot reachtho
discussed portion ofthe ear. THERE'S only ono
way TO cure deafness, ana that Is by consti-
tutional remedies, Deafness Is caused by al
innamcd condition OF tho mucous hningo.
the Eustachian Tubs. Whentnis tube Is ia-
namel you have rumblingsound orimper-
iect hearing, and when it is entirely closed
Deafness is the result, and unless the inlam-
mation can be takel out and this tube re.
stored to its normal coalition, hearing will
be destroyed forever Nine cases out OF tea
arecausel 1yGaJlrrd, wuich Is nothinsbuta
inhamel condition OF the mucous surfaces.
We viii give Ono Hundred Dollars iotaly
casooi Deatuess caused By cltarrn) that can
notbecurel by Hull's Cd,urrh Cure, Sendior
circulars free. r. CHENEg Is Co., Toledo, y.
sold by Drassists, 75c,
Take nall's Family Pills for constipation.
The new enterprise., 1905-06-08
Rembrandt and Murlllo.

Through the eighteenth century,
Dutch painters, like these of other
countries, turned to Italy for inspira'
ton; Rembrandt's marvels of lgnt
were forgotten or condemned by ig-
norant critics; his portraits, thaI
search into the souls of his subjects
desplsed for their "laborious ignoI'
ant diligence" He was neglectea'
while Murillo continued to be abunu'
antly admired. Now, however Mu'
rillo is esteemed less highly, and Rem
brandt has been restored to lis piao0
among the giants.-St. Nicholas
The new enterprise., 1905-06-08
THE LOUISVILLE & NASHVILLE
RAILROAD.

Best Line TO Confederate Veteran"
Reunion, Louisville, Ky, June IL
1915, tOO5-Very Low Rates
Stop overs allowed at Mammoth CaVo,
Americas Great Natural Wonder Faso
through the Historical Battle Fields. Rates
open to all. Tickets sold June 10Th, ll.n
18th and 18th. Ask for tickets via L. ~
Full information furnished on applicapion
to J. G. HoLLENBEcK,
District Passenger Agent,
Atlanta, Ga
The new enterprise., 1905-06-08
ITCHING SCALP I1UMoR

Lady Suffered Tortures Uutil Cured by
Cutlcura-Scratohed Day and Night.
"NIy scalp was covered with little pin.
pies and l suffered tortures from the itch.
ing, was scratching all day and night,
and l could get no rest. washed my
head with hot water and Cuticura Soap
and then applied the Cuticura Ointment
as a dressing One box Of the ointment and
one cake Of Cuticara Soap cured me, Now
my head is entirely clear and my hair is
growing spIendidly. l have used Cuticura
Soap ever since, and shall never be without
it. (Signcd) Ada c. Smith, 800 Grand st.,
Jersey City, n. j."
The new enterprise., 1905-06-08


Doesn't it make you weary to rea,
the rot Of those rattle-brained idiots of
the Chicago press who are repeatedly
ridiculing the country papers on their
locals? These two-by-four lunch-coun-
ter hends think it awfully funny when
some country newspaper says Hiram
Slocum has sold his uolstein cow to
Ed Childress." But Of course it is
Just the proper caper when they say;
Mrs. Franklin Oliver Lowden has just
returned from the Epson Lorimer ken
nels." oh, that's great! That bull pup
would bring about thirty cents in the
dog pound, while Slocum's COW would
sell for $50 in the dark, Because Gus
sic Davis was over at Guards Point
Sunday to see his best girl they throw
a shoe, but If William Henry Harrison
Pook, the society leader, was in Mil
waukee last Saturday to see Miss Ger
tie Pabst, they would slobber over half
a column and have three pictures Of
Gertie and William Henry on the front
page.-Gallatin Qll) Democrat,
The new enterprise., 1905-06-08

limbs were badly swollen. One doctor
told me it would finally turn to Brights
disease. was laid up at one time for
three weeks. 1 had not taken Doans
Kidney Pills more than three days
when the distressing aching across my
back disappeared, and l was soon en-.
tirely cured"
For sale by all dealers Price, 50
cents. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, NY,
The new enterprise., 1905-06-08

Illinois was that shown in Fig. l; al
most every farm located where there
WAS timber between Chicago ana Ca
lena could boast Of one or more OF
them, ana this is about how they were
made: \ red elm tree about foot
in diameter and twonyy'four feet long
The new enterprise., 1905-06-08

The swallow is being annihllated, AZ
the birds cross France ana Italy going
to Africa in the fail ana returning in
the spring they are m2rcilcssiy siaugh-
tered for the table and the plume
trade. Their numbers are yIsiDly Ge'
creasing.
The new enterprise., 1905-06-08

mico County,
says; 81 suf
fered withkid.
ney complaint
foreight years.
1t came on me
gradually. |
sfelt tired and
W ca k, was
shortof breath
and was trou.
Dled with
bloating after
eating, and nv
The new enterprise., 1905-06-08
ISTTSSYTSS > ~ STyTyYyS
FARM TOPICS
&SS4%S&4GNs4%4@@@9&s J
EVOLUTION OF THE FARM GATE.

To the Gazette--YOu have furnished
some very good descriptions of gates oi
late. win you not let your readers see
this one? Sixty years ago about the
only farm gate TO be seen in Northern
The new enterprise., 1905-06-08

In the latest form of hospital construc'
ton there are no corners or angles IN the
wall which may catch dust
The new enterprise., 1905-06-08

Cubas immigration last year was 10000.
Three-fourths were Spaniards.
The new enterprise., 1905-06-08
ANOTHER LIFE SAVED.

Mrs. G. w. Fooks, Of Salisbury, Nd.
wife OF @. w. Fooks, Sheriff Of Wico.
The new enterprise., 1905-06-08

sORGE DELFOR was q
scion Of an impoverished
branch Of an aristocratic
family, and was neither too
proud nor too weak TO work
fnr lis living IIn Mns q
The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1905-10-06

with one eye closed, then the other.
This test brought out the fact that
the boy was blind in one eye.
Mr.. Maxwell told the boy to 60
right home and not to come to
school until he had been to see an
Oculist.
Early next morning the boy was
back in his place.
Have you been to an oculist?"
asked his teacher.
NO, ma'am," was the response.
But didn't the gentleman who
was here yesterday tell you not to
come back until you had found out
about your eye?'
'Me mudder says there's nothin'
the matter with me eye"
But you can't see with your left
eye"
please, teacher, me mudder says
it's a glass eve" New York Times.
The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1905-10-06
Hero of the Hour.

Little Willie-Say, pa, what is a
hero?
PA hero, my son. is an UNI
pire who can face 5000 fans and
call three strikes on the star batter
of the home team in The ninth in
ming when the crowd Is expecting
him to bring in the winning rum
Chicago Tribune.
The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1905-10-06

Father-What do yoa expect me
to do, give you all the money you
ask for or calmly allow Won to get
into debt?
Son-You might do both.
The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1905-10-06

rs all right for Us to eat cattle
nd chickens; and it's az right for
the worms to eat US.
The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1905-10-06
Pudenca.

Dick Tate-Miss Short-Isabel-
you have been in my oifice for two
years now, and l have. learned to
love you better every DAY. VIII you
be my wife?
Isabel Short-Oh. Mr.. Tate Is
it fair to ask me to give up a steady
position for an uncertainty? -
Brooklyn Life.
The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1905-10-06

OUR FUNDS are protected in a
6re-proof vault and by the
best safes to be obtained; and are
further covered by insurance
against burglary or daylight rob-
berry. Our officers are under bond
in the best surety companies.
People who intrust their money
to bank have a right to know its
financial strength. We recognize
this right and will cheerfully fur
nish any depositor statement of
our condition any day in the year.
Absolute safety is the best thing
we have to offer, and upon this ba-
sis your account is solicited.
~ ~
The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1905-10-06
Where He Fell Down.

Archibald will do anything in
the world for you, darling
Helene-Will you?
Archibald-If YOU would only try
mel
Helene-Then take this collarette
to Catchem's department store and
exchange it for a size larger. I've
lost the slip.-Puck.
The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1905-10-06
Success out of Eailure.

Colonel John 7. Mosley, a famous
Confederate scout in the civil war,
now an efficient special agent of the
department of justice, said one day
in Washington apropos of success:
''The other morning l met Blank
hurrying along in his brisk, energet-
ic way, the hopeful light stin shin
ing from his eyes and the confident
smile still playing about his firm
mouth.
my heart went out in pity TO
Blank. He was a hard WORKER
very hard worker-yet in everythin-
he undertook he failed. Three times
IN the last ten years Blank had fail
ed in business.
so | stopped the poor fellow and
shook him by the hand.
Blank l said, i, is too bad.
With all your push you don't seem
10 succeed
q don't, eh?' Blank replied.
Haven't ] made a success OF my
several failures
and he hurried off to make, as
he n.ormed me, another fat deposit
in his wife's name. Kansas CITY
Journal
rs all right for Us to eat cattle
nd chickens. and IT, ~ r:cft for
The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1905-10-06
LAYING the Blame.

Il want to complains Of the -four
you sent me the othtr day." said
Mrs. Newliwed severely,
what was the ma ter with it,
ma'am?" asked the grocer.
1T was tough. Ny husband
simply wouldn't eat the biscuits |
made with it. "-Philadelphia Ledg-
er.
The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1905-10-06
CONDENSED STORIES.
Why a New York Schoolboy's Eye
Was UnserViceabIe.

Mr.. Maxwell, superintendent of
schools in New York city, recently
told this story on himself:
While visiting a school in Brook
lyn he noticed that one of the boys
had something the matter with one
eve. He asked the boy to read first
The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1905-10-06
Shattered.

Ascum-What did hat rich old
uncle of yours leavef
Hope-Nothing but a lot Of dis
gusted relatives and a jubilant
young widow whom We had never
heard of before. Boston Herald.
The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1905-10-06
Practical Use.

Jessie-Gracious, MyrtiIia. Why
did you marry such a thin young
man?
Myrtills-Oh, he viii be so use
full to crawl under my automobile
when the machinery breaks down.
Detroit Tribune.
The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1905-10-06
Said At the Breakfast liable.

Explorers say there's sometime
awful in the silence of the polar re-
gions."
well, Why don't they Jake th-i,
wives along?" - Atlanta Constign-
ION
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1905-10-05

built and everyone was so full of
wheat that they shut off buying and
could buy no more until cars could be
obtained with which to send the
grain to market.
Late in the week Sheriff Northup
of Audubon county came over and
Rogers was turned over to him. Nor
thup had stronger evidence than was
afforded by the acts committed in
Monroe township, this county, and
besides it is said Rogers admitted that
he had gone into two houses in Aud.
ubon county and had taken therefrom
articles of value.
Married Sunday last Oct lst 1905 at
the beautiful home of Nels Christian
sen and wife in Cameron township,
Audubon county, Iowa, Mr. Lars
Larsen to Miss Christina Hansen,
Rev. Golden of the Methodist Episco-
pal church officiatingg. This was a
beautiful ceremony conducted accord
ing to the NJ. E. ritual and we trust
the lives of these young friends will
be as near perfect as are the bonds
which bind them. The best wishes
of the Journal family go with them.