Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1905-12-22
STORIETTES.

STORIETTES.
A tramp, walking down a city street
one day, saw little boy stoop and
pick UP something. You have made
find, my lad" he said. eyes, sir"
said the boy; Il have found silver
ring" 81 thought So" said the tramp;
Its the one just dropped. Now.
amt 1t lucky had my name cut IN
it," "What Is your manner" said the
hoy, suspiciously. STERLING, lad"
Take 1t, then. It's yours" said the
boy, handing over the ring.
w. 8. Gilbert, the dramatist and
wit, was lunching at a country club
% when he found himself surrounded by
six or seven clergymen who had been
on a motor tour of the country there
about. Pretty soon the author of the
tMikado" was drawn into the CONVEX
sation. When his identity was known.
one of the clergymen asked Mr.. Gil
bert how he felt "in such grave and
reverend company" Like a lion in
a den of Daniels" was the reply.
In England, elementary schools are
orga,zed for girls or for infants
OF late years the mixed system has
been introduced, and many Of the
schools have been organized as sen
ior" or "junior" mixed. An inspector
recently met on the school stairs
little nondescript in pinafore, and
asked: Come, what are you doing
here?" Are you in the boys or the
gins?" "No, sir" said tie small one,
I'm junior mixed!"
Richard lie Gallienlc one went t.
publication office to get check
which was due him for an article.
I'm sorry" said the cashier, but
shall have to disappont you to-day.
The checks are made ont, but they are
without the signature of our mana,
ger He is i'll with the gont." EN-
tend him my mpathes.' murmur
ed Mr.. lie Caffeine; 1T must be very
trying for him to be SO disabled.
infer that he signs his checks with
his feet"
One of the Scotsman's editors had
entered a train at Princes Street sta.
ton, Edinburgh. one friday. when
smart newsboy Immediately called out
TO him, Scotsman. sir?'' How
mnch?" asked the editor, joEinsly, "A
penny. sir" replied the boy. "On,''
was the reply, y don't want to-dav's
scotsman; but if you could give Inc
(o-morrow's l would gl!e you sover
cien for It." Here you are, sir.'
shouted the youngster, handing hin
he weekly Scotsman which bore the
date of the following day.
During the Spanish war the m>n OF
certain New York regiment. re-
cruiied On the east side We're spoil
ing for a fight, and it became nccos.
ary to post a sentry to preserve
order A big, husky Bowery recruit,
If p"eilistic propensties, was put on
guard outside, and given special orders
o see that quiet reignei, and, if
trouble came his way, not to lose pos.
session of his rifle. Soon a general
ow began. The soldier walked his
post ncrvously, without interrupting,
NTH the corporal of the guard appear
"t on the scene with reinfOrcements.
. why didn't you stop this row."
shonted the corporal. The sentry, bal.
ancing his rifle on his shoulder, raised
his arms to the boxing position, and
replied: Sure. phwat could | do
wid this sun in me- lands
prospective Boston bridegroom,
who meant 10 be master in his own
house. called on the well-Enown Uni
'arian clergyman, Rev. c. ". Wcndte,
who'was to tie tAe knot the following
day. 81 have heard tie said, that
you omit the word obey from the
marriage service. Will you kindly
insert it tomorrow" Mr. Nendte
ob'igingly promised to do so. "Wilt
thoD. Lucy. promise TO love, honor,
and obey?" was promptly answered by
the bride without dCmur. The same
question was put to the groom. who
hcSitated, stammerei. and gulped, but
answered, as had his bride, Il WILL"
probably not wishing to create d
scene. Later he reproached the min
i3tcr "But you asked me to use the
word tobey'," said Mr.. Wendte, with
T. twinkle In his eyes; chow was l to
know that you wanted it for the lady
unly You should have been more