Elk City mining news. (Elk City, Idaho) 1903-1913, 1905-04-15

The derrick isn't handsome, but it
has an uplifting intiuence.-Philadel
phia Record
New Years: First Resoution-How
are you feeling? Second Resolution
Broke.-Life.
Father (from top of staircase) -
Ethel, is that young man gone? Ethel
Awful funny. pa.-Grit.
do you think Banks ever fooled his
wife SUCCESSFULLY" 81 know it. He
married her.,-Detroit Free Press
what is worse than owing money
you can't pay?" Being owed money
you can't llect."-Clevelan Ledger.
Miss Snowfiake-Whatd did Jim Jack
son git married for? Miss Washtub-
Lawd only knows-he keeps right on
workin' Puck
She-Do you think that woman
can truly love but once? He-Well,
if that's the only chance she has-yes!
Detroit Free Press
Papa, will you send me to Europe
it here, and I'll send you to Europe to
practice. Houston Post
Never tell secret, dear. 1t would
be a great breach of confidence"
what must | do with it, mamma ?"
"Well-bring it to me!-Madame.
Father-But do you think you can
make my daughter happy? Suitor-
Happy! Say, you should just have
seen her when l osed!-Brooklyn
Life.
Mamma-Don't lounge that way,
Tommy. Sit up like man. Tommy
Why, mamma, men sit down; it's only
dogs and rabbits that sit up.-Phila-
delphia Press.
Teaspout-Why are you so angry
with the doctor? Mrs. Teaspout -
When 1 told HIM l had a terrible tired
feeling he told me to show him my
tongue.-Exchange.
Hoax-They say the sultan of Tur
key scares his wives nearly to death.
JoaX-Yes; I've always heard that he
was a harem-scarem sort of fellow
Philadelphia Record.
Smiggs-There goes a man who has
done much to arouse the people.
Smaggs-Great labor agitator, eh?
Smiggs-No; manufacturer of alarm
clocks.-Chicago Ledger.
Mrs. Henpeck-This paper says that
married women live longer than single
ones. Mr.. Henpeck-Heavens, wom-
AM Can't you think OF something
pleasant to talk about borrowed
Freda-He claims to be related to
you, and says he can prove it. Floyd
Related to me? Why that mans a
fool. Freda-Of course, but that may
be a mere Observation-Disclosures
Bits.
Mrs. Hayrix-Them air Japs must
be kinder hard up for somethin' tew
read. Hayrix-Why so, Mandy? Mrs.
Hayrix-This paper says they went
an took lot NV Russian magazines
Exchange.
Nervous Old Lady ION seventh floor
of hoteD-Do you know what precau-
lions the proprietor or the hotel has
taken against fire? Porter-Yes, num-;
he has the place inshoored for twice
wot it's worth.-Pittsburg Gazette.
Frenzied Finance: The Farmer lex
citedly)-Say, Mister Constubble, I've
Jest bin bunkered out Nv every durn
cent The Policeman drritably)-Well,
don't boiler to me, you come-on! 1
amt no magazine publisher!-Puck.
Mrs. Watkyns-Henry, want dol
lar this morning. Mr. Watkyns-Great
Caesar womanl DO you think that 1
am made of money? When you want
large amounts you ought to let me
know a hours in advance.-Somer-
Vile Journal.
Irate Employer-See here, you young
Rip Van Wrinkle, l only hired you yes
terday; and l believe, on my soul,
you've been asleep around here ever
since! Sleepy Joe-That's what 1
though you wished, sir. Here's your
advertisement: "Wanted-An office
boy. not over 10; must sleep on the
premises. New Orleans Times-Dem-
ocrat.