East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-01-21

1eSleFudy your Olu colleSe lrleuu
Clarence blew in from Monte Carlo,
where he had been in the interests Of
science, and presented your letter Of
introduction. Said he still couldn't
understand just how it happened, be-
cause he had figured 1t out by loga-
rithms and trigonometry and differen-
tial calculus and lot Of other high
priced studies that he'd taken away
on paper. Was so sure that he could
have proved his theory right II he'd
only had a little more money that 1t
hardly seemed worth while to tell him
that the only thing he could really
prove with his system was old Pro-
fessor Darwin's theory that men and
monkeys began life in the same cage.
1t never struck me before, but I'll bet
the professor got that idea while he
was talking with some Of his students.
Personally don't know great deal
about gambling, because all | ever
spent for information on the subject
was 81. 2.T5-my fool horse broke in the
stretch-and that was forty years ago.
But first and last I've heard a lot of
men explain how it happened that
| they hadn't made a hog killing. OF
course there must be a winning end to
gambling, but all that these men have
| been able to tell about is the losing
end. And | gather from their expert
ences that when fellow does a little
gambling on the side it's usually on the
wrong side.
The fact of the matter is that the
race horse, the faro tiger and the
poker kitty have bigger appetites than
any healthy critter has right to have,
and after you've fed a tapeworm
there's mighty little left for you. Fol-
lowing the horses may be pleasant ex-
ercise at the start, but they're apt to
lead you to the door of the poorhouse
| or the jail at the finish.
To get back to Clarence, he took
about an hour to dock his cargo of
hard luck and another to tell me how
strange it was that there was no draft
from his London bankers waiting to
welcome him. Naturally l haven't
lived for sixty years among lot OF
fellows who've been trying to drive d
cold chisel between me and my bank
account without being able to smell g
touch coming a long time before il
overtakes me. and Clarence's inten
tions permeated his CHEEKY converse
ton about as thoroughly as fertilizer
factory does a warm summer night
OF course he gave me every opportu
nifty to prove that l was a gentleman
and to suggest delicately that should
be glad IL he would let me act as his
banker in this sudden emergency. bu-
as didn't show any signs of being 8
gentleman and banker he was finally
forced to- come out and ask me in
coarse commercial words to lend hin
a hundred. Said 1t hurt him to have t
do it on such short acquaintance, but
couldn't see that he was suffering any
real pain.
Frankly, shouldn't have lent Clar
ence a dollar on his looks or his story
for they both struck me as doubtful
collateral, but so long as he had {
letter from you asking me to do any
thing in my power to obllge him or t.
make his stay in Carlsbad pleasant
let him have the money on your &C
count, to which | have written tn,
cashier to charge ii. OF course, l hop'
Clarence will pay you back, but thinl
you will save bookkeeping by charg
ing 1t OF to experience. I've usual!
found that these quick. glad borrower
are slow, sad payers. And when a fel
low tells you that it hurts him t.
have to borrow you can bet that tn
: thought Of having to pay is going +
tie him up into a bowknot of pain.
Right here l want TO caution yoI
against giving away your signature t
, every Clarence and Willie that happen
along. When your name is on not
1t stands only for money, but wheI
, it's on a letter Of introduction or rec
ommendation 1t stands for your judg
ment of ability and character, and yo
, can't call 1t in at the end Of thirt
days, either. Giving letter Of intrI
duction is simply lending your nam
with man as collateral, and II he
no good you can't have the satisfactio
1 OF redeeming your Endorsement ever
and you're discredited. The first thin
Q that a Young merchant must learn
4 that his brand must never appear on
, note or a ham or a man that isn't goo(
/ reckon that the deYil invented tn
habit of indorsing notes and givin
letters to catch the fellows he couldn
reach with whisky and gambling.
OF course letters of introductio
have their proper use, but about min
4 out of ten of them are simply licens
to some Clarence to waste an hour {
), your time and to graft on you for tn
luncheon and cigars. It's getting S
that a fellow who's almost strange
to me doesn't think anything Of askln
for u letter Of introduction to on
who's total stranger. You can't e.
plain to these men, because when 20
. try to let them down easy by tellfn
them that you haven't had any re;
opportunity to know what their specii
! abilities are they always come bac
y with an, "Oh. that's all right-just sa
a word and refer to anything you hs
. ), about me"
a 1 give them the letter then unseale
: and. though Of course they're not su
posed to read It, have reason TO thin
that they do. because I've never hear
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