The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1905-09-02

ls Ehe sentimental "Veryl She
VIII even weep over her old divorce
papers."-Judge.
Hewitt-How many meals did you
nave on the voyage. Jewett- Gross or
net2-Brooklyn Life.
ST seems Woody has discovered
tnat ne has family tree" Eyes, it's
an outgrNwth of his successful BUSH
ness plant"
SO the lawyers got most all the
estate. Did Ethel get anythingp"
Oh. yes. She got one of the law.
yers."-Judge,
Employer Ito new Office boy)-Has
the cashier told you what you are to
do this afternoon. Office boy-Yes,
sir; I'm to wake him when l see you
coming.-Scraps.
Magistrate-You say your machine
was beyond your control. Chauffeur
Yes, your honor. If could have con-
trolled it the cop wouldn't have caught
me.-New York Mail.
Poet see you accepted one of my
poems and refused the other. Editor
Yes; took one of them out of SYM
pathy for you, and refused the other
out of sympathy for the public.-Ex.
George certainly is a man of &C.
ton" What has he doneY" "Why,
the very next day after the heiress
accepted him he gave up his job at
the bank and Joined the Don't Worry
Club"
You'll take a couple Of tickets, of
course We're getting up a rattle for
a poor cripple in our neighborhood-''
None for me, thank you. l wouldn't
know what to do with a poor cripple
If won him"
WELL" asked the architect who had
been commissioned to make a set of
plans for New York hotel, show do
you like Them" "They won't do
You have provided for only six differ,
ent kinds Of dining-rooms. Elk.
Kind lady-You can get work beat
ing carpets two doors from here-they
are cleaning house. Homeless Holmes
Thanks, mum. mighter bumped
right inter it If youse hadn't warned
me. I'll steer clear Of it, mum-Cleve
land Leader
Jones Ito Brown, who has been re
Iating his wonderful adventures II
Russia)-And l suppose you visited
the great steppes of Russia? Brown
[ should rather think so. And walked
up every blessed one Of them on my
hands and knees.
Office boy-Miss Keyes, please le
me look at your face2 Miss Keyes-
What fort Office boy-Why, the bosI
said some Of the paint was scratched
off his typewriter. I didn't know
whether he meant you or the ma
chine.-Chicago News.
The three-year-old daughter Of I
leading minister resents too grea
familiarity. A few evenings ago
though she seemed little unwilling
caller took her upon his lap, where
upon she said with great gravity: I"
want to sit in my own lap"
Mabel (not in her first youth)-Firs
of all he held my hand and told m
fortune; and then, EVE, he gazed int
my face ever so long and said he coul
read my thoughts! Wasn't that cleve
Of him, dear? Evie-Oh, suppose h
read between the lines, darling
Punch.
What did you discuss at your /
brary club this afternoon, dear?
asked the husband in the evening
LET me see," murmured his wife
"oh, yes, I remember now. Why, W
: discussed that woman who recent
moved into the house across the stree
and Longfellow."-Ex.
Pausing uncertainty before a DIES
In the big insurance Office, the Hide
MAN visitor said to the clerk: &C
, want to tex out pawlicy." "Lif
fire or mariner drawled the dappe
+ clerk with infinite sarcasm. "Al tire
7 Dim thinkin'," retorted the appllcan
: "Orm goin' fer stoker in tn navy
Puck.
Mrs. Younglove-Our cook say
those eggs you sent yesterday wei
4 ancient, Grocer-Very sorry, ma'aI
? They were the best we could get. Yc
4 see, all the young chickens were kille
4 off for the holiday trade, so the O
e hens are the only ones left to do II
: LAWN. Mrs. Younglove-Oh, to
s sure. OF course. 1 hadn't thought (
: Ithat,-Chicago Record Herald.
t From Appearances.
l. When the six-year-old son WI