davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-12-29
A WIN.

Persons wishing to register in their
hist wills and testaments their feelings
regarding their natural heirs may take
as q model the following crisp effort of
an Engtishman, William Hail: II give
to that vile wretch, Samuel Hall, who
I admitted Of the temple many years
since, but he sold his gown, and In
seven years I could never get him to
church but once, and twice he assault
ed me, and at the time he had certainly
killed me IL by Gods providence I had
not by a maidservant been thrown
against a great fire, the sun Of 10 shil-
lings, to be paid him every Monday
upon request, and 1 wish that the
first food he takes after my death will
choke him"
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-12-29

No man ever believed in his calling
more thoroughly than Lincoln, and he
had no patience with the much mouth
cd charge that honesty was not COM
ypatible with its practice.
"Iet no young nan choosing the law
for a gaming yield to that popular be-
lief" he wrote. Resolve to be honest,
at all events. If, in your Judgment, you
cannot be an honest lawyer, resolve to
be honest without being a lawyer.
Choose some other occupation rather
than one in the choosing Of which you
do, In advance, consent to be a knave."
Frederick Trevor Hill in Century.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-12-29
A Counter Attraction.

A recent visitor to Beaconsfeld
~ehurchyard asked a middle aged native
Of the village to be directed to the
graves Of Burke and Waller. The man
said he had no recollection Of any such
persons having been buried there.
but" he added, "you e that little
chemists shop over there? That's the
shop where Devereux, the trunk muir
der man, used to be an anprenticer'
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-12-29

Congressman Merritt. Of Connecti-
cut, is trying to raise a storm about
the ears OF the president in charging
him with an effort to secure control
Of the party organization in Connec-
ticut, Ohio, and several other states.
The senators and congressman from
those states assert that they have
no knowledge of the attempt Of the
PRESIDENT in this direction. Merritt
has evidently been touched in a soft
part OF his anatomy by the presi-
dent.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-12-29
ssP:ano-Organ.n

"P1aMO.OHGo1.0
"Piano-organ'' seems 10 have got into
the language-unfortunately, since the
contrivance 80 designated Is neither q
piano MOI an organ. Organ" in mu-
steal language, means an arrangement
Of pipes or reeds. with bellows. key.
board. pedals and draw stops. The
'spiano-organ' has none Of these. "Pi-
ano" is short for "pianoforte' and In
dicates q keyed wire instrument which
can be played both softly piano) and
loudly Norte). Now, nobody ever heard
q .tpiano-organ" play piano" A pos
sible explanation is that the first user
OF the bad word '.p~iano-organ" was
trying to combine .pianoforte'' and
barrel orgsn," and, Of course. he
couldn't call the thing a ..barrelforte."
London Chronicle.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-12-29

Congressman Longworth, of Ohio,
is anxious for the government to
erect consular residences for the rep
r~esentatives of this government in
foreign countries. The plan is doubt
less a good one, but the Sioux City
Journal thinks there are too many
towns in this country without public
buildings to first break into the
treasury without satisfying the home
people. Well, the journal is right.
There are three or four towns in
South Dakota that feel they ought
to have a public building, and after
they are satisfied the government can
provide for the consular residences.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-12-29
Retired Grinaers.

A whole village of well to do Italians
speaking English with an accent - one
Of the most astonishing things that
Italy offers to the tourist. They arc
retired organ grinders who have &C.
Quired comfortable fortunes In various
countries and have gone back to their
beloved native land to live In amuence
with their families in this strange little
colony which they have founded among
these sweet Italian mountains.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-12-29
SGRIpAY DEpEMEER 1905
1904
srHAkaM AGAINaT OHALMERs


sSssSS Sioux iHfaIis,E Argus-Leader: In NO
Hemher certain r1nlurs reached the
ears OF the BOARD Of regents with re-
spcct to DR.. Chalmers. An inyesti-
gation was at cnce set On foot by DR..
Spa1oId, Judge Burtt and Mr.. Good
sner. Itswas found that DIR. Chal-
nlers had obtained entrance to the
university OF Michigan under false
representations concerning his work
q u student at Gberlin: that he had
lost his POSITION at Platteville, Wis,
because Of disregarding the regula-
tionssof the regents, and the law of
the state regarding the conduct OF
the institution and because he was
taking the affairs OF the institution
Into politics ; that at Columbus, Ohio.
It was discovered he had written q
letter to the governing board in
which three false statements had
been made concerning offers Of posi-.
tions at Increased salaries from the
university of Pennsylvania, the Uni
versityfof Indiana and the Univer-
atty Edinburgh, Scotland. It was
learned that none OF these institu-
lions had made him any offer. that
III fact Dr. Chalmers was not known
atSany OF them, and that at Edin-
burRh there was no such chair as DR..
Chalmers claimed had been offered
to him.
This In q nutshell is the head and
front Of the charge against DIR. Chal-
mers. Manifestly, its publication
would ruin the effectiveness Of DIR.
Chalmers as a college president, for
if ever honesty and truthfulness and
rood faith i required IL is from a
man who Is set up as an example be-
fore young e 1t was further dis
covered that much evidence against
I Dr. Chalmers was in possession Of
certain parties In South Dakota who
proposed to publish i: as soon as he
took his place IS president Of the
atate university. This left nothing
1orsthe board OF regents to do except
To cancel Dr. Chalmers election to
the presidency at Vermillion. Presi-
dent Chalmers was given q chance to
defend himself against these charges,
hut It IS declared that he admitted
themsso far as AnnArbor and Coll
nmbus we're concerned, hut attribut-
sed hts removal at Platteville to poll
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-12-29
A just Man.

A slight shower was falling, and MI.
Ferguson discovered, when on the
point Of starting for church, that there
wasn't an umbrella in the house fit for
use.
You can borrow one from the
Thompsons next door," suggested Mrs.
Ferguson .'They never go to church,"
mo. Laura" he answered, with iron
irmness. 1T is wrong to borrow UNI
brellas- on Sunday. L should have
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-12-29

The story Of David and Goliath has
been brought down to date in Mis-
souri,. A boy OF eighteen years pick
ed up a stone about the size of a val
nut and threw it at a giant who
stood seven feet high, striking him
behind the ear. The giant fell to
the ground and was dead within an
hour. The giant had slapped the
small brother of the lad and he pro-
posed TIC punish the big man
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-12-29
NH Rlaek watch.

The title of "Black Watch, conferred
on the Forty-second regiment, now the
Royal highlanders, originated in the
time of the Jacobite ristngs in Scotland
! 1730, when companies Of the loyal
clans We're SET to watch the highlands,
forming aScorps OF military police I'M
der the title of the Royal Highland
Black Watch, the color having refer
ence to the dark tartan worn by the
men.-London Standard.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-12-29

bought M yesterday. l shall punish
myself for my carelessness by not go
ing to church this morning." Thereup-
on he proceeded to punish himself still
further by reclining in an easy chair
and reading the morning papers.-Chi-
cago Tribune.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-12-29
K1rTRED0E At WHITE HOUSE

Washington Star: President Roose-
velt had conferences today with sew
ersal senators. among chem KittredRe
AndAldrich. The South Dokata sem
Ator spent aRood while talking with
the apresident on the canal? situation.
and the light that Is being made ia.
thessenate on. the management Of the
big ditch. Senator IKittredge has
made himself one Of the best posted
men Ia the Emitted States on inter-
oceanic ca lials. He has purposely
spent time along the canal route and
SlseWhcre and has read the opinions
of men 81 prominence Of all sides and
What II best TO do. There are many
suggestions that lie would become
chairman Of the senate committee
IN interoceanics canals, but this posi-
ton went TO Senator Willard, OF Ne.
braska. Who. BY the rules Of the SEN
1te, was entitled tofit. AS there Is
much doubt whether Senator Milla1d
Wilt be returned to the senate tosuc-
coed himself from Nebraska, and as
Senator Platt, Of New York the
next ranking member Of the commit
teesisinot expected to retain the chair
manship OF the committee is al
most suI to 90. toSenator Klttredge
IA the next congress. By that time
the colnmlttee will be one Of the great
bodies OF the Senate. handling the pro-
gressIot work on the canal appropria-
tiOns, etc. and overseeing the manage
mentS TO q large extent.
The president may make a state
ments in q few days on the subject of
the canal and tile salaries Of the var.
fous ohicials. This statement has
been under consideration for three
or four DAYS. There was suggestions
today that instead OF giving out a
statement the president may con-
clude to send q special message to
congress. He gave answer to some of
hisgcritics today as to ssPress Agent.
ssBtsilop By sending to the senate the
name OF Joseph Bucklin Bishop to be
" lmemberof the isthmian canal com.
sgmlissionsto fll q vacancy that has ex-
isted Iof some time. BY this stroke
M. Bishop remains with the COM
mission. Theoretically he goes high
egItl,an he was when on the rolls as
amere employe. but financially he
WilIreceise 80, 500 less eaclsyear than
now ais salary TO this time has
been no, O0Osa year. II will here
s,GSfterAbeS9 q. 500. AS agmember OF the
colnmission he can con tinne TO look
After Neutrality-suspicious. OF the country
without the, criticism that has fol-
sloWsdsaSS1his appointment a q press
aeeintsHe may perform the same
dulles ut aside for him heretofore.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-12-29
VT. VERNON.

Mt. Vernon, Dec. 27.-O. E.
browne is in attendance at the State
EducationalAss ociatlon i'm BroolSings
this week.
Miss Helen Stanley spent Christ
mas with her mother i'm Letcher.
g. Fl. Bishop returned Wednesday
from a visit to his claim.
Mrs. T. N. Treat,..of Plankinton,
visited her mother, Mrs. M. Knut-
son, Christmas Day.
Mrs. Anderson arrived from steJ-
don, Iowa, Tuesday to visit her
daughter Mrs. A. Vavichek.
Mr.. and Mrs. Frank Meekins went
to Dss Moines Saturday for a two
weeks visit with relatives.
Mr.. and Mrs. Herbert Rounds and
children, Of Rock Valley, spent
Christmas with Mrs. Rounds par
ents, Mr.. and Mrs. Roantree.
: Mr.. and Mrs. John Anderson and
children departed Saturday for a
visit with friends and relatives in
Waukesha, Wis.
Miss Amanda .Tritle. who resigned
her position in the public schools,
went to her home near Kimball Sat
u1day.
Mrs. Oren Mabbott and Mr.. and
Mrs. Chas. Lewis left for Wild Rose,
Wisconsin. Tuesday in response to a
telegram announcing the serious ILL
ness OF their father.
Mrs. g.. Nelander went TO Sioux
Falls Thursday and ON Friday night
will sing at IL concert given in Swed-
ish Baptist church of which her bus
band is pastor.
Mr.. and Mrs. g.. II. Smith spent
Christmas at Alexandria. as guests
Mr.. and Mrs. John Momsen.
Mr.. and Mrs Z. B. Haynes, Mr.. and
Mrs. T.. o. McEwen and Mr.. and
Mrs. John Haynes spent Christmas
liz Mitchell.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-12-29

How to Roast the succulent Oyster.
Select large oysters and have them
scrubbed thoroughly, then place them
In the oven in a large tin with the
round side Of the shells down. 90 that
when they open the liquor will not be
lost. AS soon as they do open remove
the upper shell. sprinkle them with
salt, pepper and chopped parsley. add
. little butter and serve hot as posi-
bic on a bed of water cress. Oysters
served in this way make an excellent
6rst course at dinner IL accompanied
By thin slices Of brown bread and but
tor.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-12-29
Bismarck.s Comment.

IN the early days Of the present
German empire the question as to how
the kaiser's title should run divided the
court into three sections. one division
favored German emperor the second
was for emperor Of Germany" while
the third wished 1t to be emperor Of
the Germans" Bismarck, who was
present at n such discussion, looked
up from a meal. whats the Latin for
isausage?' he asked. .Farcimentum,'s
said one. ''Farcimen,'' said another.
Bismarck smiled significantly as he re-
piled, "Farcimentum or farcimen, It Is
al the same to me-"
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-12-29
PEOPLE -
Try the Bitters

It has restored hundreds Of sickly people
tc robust health during its 81 years ex-
perience and it will help you, too. It will
strengthen the entire system and core
f1esftburn, Bloating, Nausea, Poor
Appetite, Indigestion, dyspepsia.
Costiveness, Chills, Colds, Grippe, or
Malaria. Try it today, also ask your
druggist for free copy Of our 1900 Alma
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-12-29
PROSPER

Prosper. Dec. 26.-If any enc has
ever een such delightful weather on
Christmas day let them speak.
The usual number of family din
ners yer served on Christmas day
and each and every one had a to
rejoice.
Miss Rose Schaub returned on Sat-
urday from Chamberlain, where she
has been spending several weeks at
the home of her brother, Frank
Schaub.
Miss agnes Scheick spent Christ
mas at the home of her parents, Mr..
and Mrs. Frank Scheick. :
s. Nelson has novel from Pros
per with his family to his new home
in Mitchell township.
Miss Florence Watson is spending
her vacation at.tbe home of her par
ents. Mr.. and Mrs. George Watson.
Lawrence Carlson is working at
tho carpenter trade in Mitchell.
Hadwin and Homer Erion are press
ing straw to be used by the stock as
ISOLATION in Mitchell.
Misses Fannie Watson, Blanche
Jones and Gertrude Hoffman, Who
are attending the ID. W. u. in
Mitchell, came home to spend their
holiday vacation at their respective
homes.
George Pouch was %transacting
business in Mitchell..on Saturday.
Henry RigRert departed for points
in Iowa last Friday, where he will
spend the holidays. Rumor says he
will not return alone. -
Miss Minnie Riggert attended
church in Mitchell on Christmas day.
ELoomis. Dec. 2s.-The young folks
of this community will have an op-
portunity to dance for the first day Of
the new year, as a dance has been
arranged on New Years night.
Everybody is invited to come and
bring the other fellows sister.
Tom Mernaugh and family, Of
Letcber, eat Christmas dinner with.
their parents, Mr.. and Mrs. Clippen.
FL. FL. McLain went to Mitchell
Saturday and eat Christmas dinner
with relatives.
Geo. Baldwin, the gentleman who
bought Dan Lille out is here looking
aronnd to see about building some
more.
W. v. Miners family got a new
piano for Christmas.
They got to work and built a fence
on the west and north side OF the
church.
Mrs. f. c. speed, of Milwaukee,
who was a former resident Of Dayi-
son county, is a welcome visitor at
will .Clark's.
Mrs. Henry Baltman called on Mrs.
L. M1eriman Wednesday.
: Jake Harray, OF Oacomo, came We'd
nesday to visit with some Of his old
n%eighbors.
Dan Lille and Sam Bell came back
iron. Presho Saturday evening.
Charles Vogus and wife, OF Mitch
ell, visited with Will Clark Saturday
evening.
Mrs. Will Clark and Mrs. II. G.
Speed visited at Mrs. Z. Mer1iman's
Wednesday.
The school teachers gave The
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-12-29

HscboddTs a tafy pull Friday after
noon aud eachy scholar was given a
present.
The Loomis school has closed for
one weeks vacation.
Mr.. and Mrs. Steve Oathout, OF
Ethan. visited Sunday with their
parents, Mr. and Mrs. Wick Waugh.
Mrs. Joe Gilillan, ST., went 10
Washington Springs Tuesday to visit
with her children and granddaugh-
ter, MIR. and Mrs James Barr and
Miss Eva Gilt)lan.
{. T. Eager and wife returned home
Friday from Plainteld, Wis. where
thew have been visiting relatives.
Miss Cora Goodman, of Sioux City
and Sam Goodman, Of Omaha, visited
through the holidays at the home of
their parents, w. 81. Goodman.
|. Fred Rudlof and family went Fri
day to st. Lawrence to visit with his
brother, Will Rudloff.
Will POOLS team ran away Friday
afternoon. There was no one hurt
and not much damage done.
There was a large crowd at the
Christmas tree Saturday evening lat
the Loomis church. There was a
nice program; Santa Claus was we'll
represented. A good many did not
get a sack of candy because their
name was not written on the sacks.
A collection was taken up for a
Christmas present for Rev. G. W.
Kilborn.
Some of the Loomisites attended
tue dance at Letcher Tuesday even
ing and reported having IA good time
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-12-29

Ethan, Dec. 25.-Prof. r. J. QuiE.
ley was down from Mitchell. Thurs
aay.
Mrs. Cooley and children from
Mitchell are here spending Christ
mas with her sister, Mrs. Newell
Blackman.
james Carlow is home from Tulare
to spend the holidays with his par
ents.
John Craig of Plankinton lis spend
ing Christmas with his parents.
Charles Coyne is home from Virgil
to spend..Chsirtmas with friends.
Miss Sterling, OF Parkston, visited
Miss Elva Klotz for a few days last
week. She was on her way home
from Mitchell d. w. u.
On Saturday night, Dec. l6 the A.
o. U. w. and elected officers for the
ensuing year as follows: NJ. w John
Clement; Foreman, L. Is. Lowrie;
Overseer, FL. L. Bowlby; Rec rider,
Geo. A.. Castor; Financier, JOHN M.
Champion; Receiver, Max burg
fried; Guide, q. E. Graves; l. w :,
Robert Curren; O. W.. James
Champion Trustee, Fred Carpenter;
Medical Examiner, Or. W. Fl. Trow
At the close of the meeting they adj
journed to Grady's restaurant. where
a banquet was served. These officers
will be duly installed at next regular
meeting, Jan. 6, 1906.
Fred Morgan and family left for
Letcher Thursday.
Emma Ortman, who has been sick.
is improving.
Miss Lena Fosteman started for
Chicago last Monday.
We hear that Wallace Gleason has
sold his farm consisting of $50 acres
at s42 per acre. He takes an $4,000
stock Of clothing in Geddes, S. d.,
in part payment. MI. Gleason and
family will rove to Geddes. w. b..
Tobey has been out..there for a few
days invoicing the stock for MI.
Gleason.
Jonas Nelson. and family left Fri
day for..Rock .Rapids, Iowa to spend
the holidays with Mrs. Nelson's par
ents, Mr.. and Mrs. Ewdard Holli-
day.
James Conway, o-Bonestel, is seer
in u city this Christmas Day.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1905-12-26
SNAKES COMMIT SUICIDE.
Theories Of Indians Tell Why the
Country IL Not overrun
with Reptiles.

In the dialect Of the Maine Indians
the word which stands for November
ooptalna eight o's and ain ia. and IL
meaning IL "the month-ln.whicb.to-
commit'Enioidc so far ~ Indian Oh
scrvailon goes. there II no creature
which preys upon snakes from prefer
cnce. A few small hawks will cat
snakes when very hungry. but all 9th
er creatures OF prey rcjec, them.
A. the female snake lays from 60 10
80 eREs every year. all 81 which hatch.
the pro y 4 Of having the woods and
fields oycrrun with snakes would be
excellent. the Indians say. wee Il no,
for a suicidal habit. which takes them
just before II II time for them 10 crawl
away and spend the winter In sleep.
In remote meadows and lots the lean
snakes climb into crab apple trees
aud hawthorne bushes. where tsoy
pierce their own bodies with the sharp
spInes and remain dangling until the,
are dead. In the country towns the
unakes crawl into the wheel tracks
and are rim over.
The Indians account for this by say.
ing that none but the latest and most
vigorous snakes can Withstand the cold
o. the northern winters. and that the
feeble members OF the race prefer sui
eide 20 a lingering death.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1905-12-26
WHAT sTeNocRAPHERs DC
When They Get Tired Of Poundin;
Incessantly Upon Keys of
Typewriter.

Jacob Riis. the sociologist has soft
heart. His sympathy flows out in ev.
cry direction. The poor have in him
a true friend, says a New York law
yer.
Mr.. Riis sat In my anteroom one
morning waiting to consult me. Near
hi.n a young girl clicked busily away
en- a typewriter. She was pretty and
neat, with clear eyes and soft hair, and
perhaps she was little pale.
AS Mr.. Riis regarded her, so young
and fresh. working hard in a stuffy
Office while her more fortunate sisters
were riding or motoring in the park
he felt sorry for her and he sal.
gently:
do you never get tired, you young
stenOgraphers, Of eternally pounding
away upon those keys?"
''Ah, yes, we do indeed" said the
young girl.
Then what do you do?" Mr.. RiS
asked
Then. as rule" she answered.
smiling. eve marry our employers"
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1905-12-26
THE LARGEST STAIRWAY.
Twenty Thousand Steps Cut in Noun.
tain Up Which Chinese
Toll.

Mount Oml, on the border between
Western China and Thibet, has the
longest staircase In the world. On tor
of the mountains there stands q Bud
dhist temple, around which gather
some of the hottest traditions Of that re
ligion. and which is made Mecca to the
Chinese.
TO facilitate the ascent Of its slippery
sides some 10000 steps have been cut
in the morning forming single fight
up which the pilgrim tolls.
Because of Its inaccessibility few Eu
ropeans bave ever visited the spot, but Il
number of travellers have assembled the
stairway and are positive that 1t Is nc
legendary myth.
There is legend that in earlier times
the pilgrim was forced to ascend the
mountain without artificial aids, until
the monks conceived the plan of requir
ing every pilgrim who would gain espe'
ciai benefit Of his journey to cut singI:
step.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1905-12-26
FAILED TO BEAT PHONE.
Nan With Plugged Coin Was Not
fexy Enough 70 Nsks
II Work.


A ffisnd % the proprietor ssnl inta
cigar store the other day and stepped
To the slot telephone. Taking aosa
the receiver. be told the sifl al the
eeniFal station shat number he want.
Cd. Then. SAYS the Philadelphia In.
qaifsf. While she sas ringing ~ that
hambsr he called out 10 the proprietor
or the store:
Say. Bert Why isn't tails q good
place 10 rofk on this plugged dime. .
10 la said the proprietor. -chsek
u In"
In . moment the EiFi said, Ten
cents please"
Down wen, tho plugged dine isis
the slot.
'-Too-eo-oo,.~ sent the little horn 10
the machine.
Ten cents. please said tho kiri
again.
y Just put In q dime. he protested.
u know she answered, hut you'u
have 10 put 10 another. That one wss
plugged
= thought probably d would 10 Q
kood place 10 work on tho plugged
dine the proprietor laughed iatsr.
III vas You worked u OF all right
hut how the mischief dia abe know
!, vas plnsEedT' asked the friend. Tho
horn footed all right"
Yes. said the proprietor. but
she's = pretty smart Eiri. she knows
especially when you hold the receiver
In your hand and tell somebody you
arc going 20 put In q plugged ooin.-