The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1905-07-28

1isht but when tried 10 desoeud IN,
packset spring would not work
Imagine my feelings II You have
ever been on a high The spring posi-.
uley refused 70 work. II | held ON
"a 80 up perhaps 10 worlds unknown.
~ let co. Id be dashed TO pieces on
'"e rocks IN Benderson's addition.
~ up ] went. began to expert.
ehoe terrible pains in my Uranium. my
eyes Dulged, my brain ratified like a
lawn mower; bright flashes of light
uar'ed across my vision. and IS milf
meters OF my crimson tongue hung
our. a band OF steel seemed comp,es-
sing my intellectual lobe: my frontal
region was all pain and confusion
winch gradually melted into dreamy
indifference and unconsciousness.
When awoke | was in a strange
country, an unknown planet. perhaps
me kingdom Of the Fool-Killer. at any
rate. Since then, have been confined
In cage, the only sleeping accommo.
dations OF which consist OF large nail
upon which ! am expected to hang my
self each night
Perhaps ! could sleep even there
were IL not for the proximity and aw.
iul groans OF the man who. upon earth
used 10 occupy two seats in the crovd.
ed cars, keeping tired travellers out BY
sheer force OF his dignity His dignity
avails him but little now. for here they
stand him on his head as soon as the
sun goes down, and there he stays till
morning.
1T Is pretty hard TO sleep in the day
time, on account OF the punishment
that is inflicted upon the Beautiful
Snow poets. Every morning they ase
chained in row, and a reader. with
an accentless but stentorian voice
reads over and over TO them their
Beautiful Shows By way OF variety
he reads backward half OF the time
This goes on until sunset The Spring
and June and 'Slvery Moon poeu
get only half as much and in the ar
ternoons, are allowed to rest and re-
coup for the next days reading.
The midnight serenader is hung VI
In cage close to the top of the high
est turret, and made 10 sing, over and
over again. the songs he used to sing
TO his lady fair, and everybody 10
has nothing else to do throws old boots
and clubs at him.
THE man who said: 1 told you So
has been hung. Always in life kick
er, he is still kicking as he swings.
Weather prophets are tied in pairs
and flung over great clothesline 10
fight.
"A band composed OF bazoos and
bass drums. with a few tom-toms and
jim-jams has been organized and puts
in ten hours per day in serenading The
people who used to play the fife. fiddle
and piano Hand-organ men are slain
at sight.
People who only planted when the
moon was right are kept on a diet OF
skinned water
The alrship and perpetual motion
cranks occupy cages next 10 mine TIE
washing machine inventor has the en-.
tire laundry work of the kingdom
TO do.
Every day a committee takes ont
the man who, on earth. was a sort OF
walking collection OF ills. for which
he was always doping or dosing him
self and they proceed to fill him to
the muzzle with the latest fads in pills
and nostrums.
And so | might go on all day tel
ing Of the retribution that regularly
befalls the unfortunates here. But
time passes. and the executioner is LA I
bic TO be at hand at any moment. The |
only thing that in a measure, recon- |
Giles me. . the fact that every one Of |
these people deserves all they can set. |
and more. too. I've lived among them,
and ought 10 know.
Every now and then the Fool !
Killer holds a slaughter or immolation !
day, during which he kills OF a numbe'