davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26
JANA WKEg J0TS
The Lindsborg Record is ten years

The Linesborg Record is ten years
old.
A Washington county farmer paid his
taxes recently entirely in dimes, 402 of
them. The county treasurer had to hire
extra help that day to count the money.
Editor ingalls,. of the Washington
Register. says that he received a com
municatiOn last week, written with a
hard lead pencil on both sides of tissue
paper. He is uncertain whether it was
an order for the paper for anoJner year,
or a prOmissory note to pay up all
arrearages.
Opinion handed down by the Holton
Recorder in which everybody else viii
concur: "A Wichita man is under ar
rest charged with cruelty beating his
eleven months old baby The fact that
the fellow has not been lynched shows
that his neighbors are either very toll
Grant or are cowardly.'
Albert Thompson, of the Hutchinson
Independent, writes an exceedingly wise
notice of "A Journey of a. JayhaWker,
and incidentally tells how Billy Nor
gan became an adept with a lead pen
ell, particularly in that pleasant els
tolary style of his. 1T is understood"
says Albert Thompson, that Billy OBJ
tanned his initiation into the easy flow
of words by writing notes to the big
girls while he was a school boy. Long
practice confirmed that habit and Billy
became an adept with a stub pencil
In referring to the history of Linds-
borg and central Kansas and the ad-
yancement it has made the Lindsborg
Record says: Forty years ago rOamed
the buffalo bull where now we see the
Irish bull, the social lion has supplant~
ed the mountain lion the quilting bee
has taken the place of the bumblebee,
where formerly flew the uncanny, noe
turnal bats we see the flying brickbats,
the wild hog is gone and now we see
the man who sits and reads his paper
in the car While a woman holds on by
the straps. The hair-rat is here but
the musk-rat is gone. Those were good
old times, when it was all a bowling
wilderness and the coyotes howled even
louder than the wilderness. All honor
to the DiOneer'
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26
The ssDuel Of Sex

The following is quoted from THE
Autobiography of an Old Maid. Every
body's Magazine for December:
I was brought up to regard with re-
pugnance all efforts to attract or to
please mankind. My native indifference
was fostered. Girls who ran after the
boys were declared, when mother and
my aunts met in sewing room conclave,
to be the most disgusting objects. Young
women who permitted 'familiarities'-
such dire licenses, I suppose, as romp-
ing dance, a careless use of first names,
a free circulation of photograp hs-how
they were condemned, held up to scorn
in our sitting rooni Not for my mother
daughters, not for my aunts' nieces,
were such waysl
Mother would have thought it vulgar
and indicate to the last degree to train
us to look toward matrimony as a goal.
She would have died Of shame at the
thought Of teaching us the articles Of
attraction. She disdained to suggest to
us in any way that it was desira BILE to
those mothers who invited young men
to their houses, or made things attrac-
tive for young men in their houses. In
her heart I suppose the dear lady was
convinced that the intrinsic worth of her
daughters, their compelling, natural
charms. would be a resistless magnet,
and that, in due course of time, there
would come three dukes a-riding' to
bear off in a whirl of glory. Poor
motheri
What Nature began, and mother con-
tinued novels, I think, completed for me.
In all my early favorites the heroine
was as unapproachable as a star; her
love was a reward graciously bestowed
upon the doer of great deeds-not an
equal force flowing out to meet the love
of a mere man. Or she was capricious.
wilful, charmingly difficult. Her with
drawals lured on her woOers; her petu-
lances. her piques and poutings, were so
many entrancements, her very refusals
infarned. But in our town and our cir
Gle. the men, when one refused them,
went off and married the girl around the
corner; when one adopted the distant
attitude of the tournament queen, they
stayed away. And when one f1Outed
and jeeTed them, one was held to have
bad manners and sharp tongue"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26
The Things we Eat.

Gregory p. owens. a food Inspector
of Manchester, had an odd experience
the other day. He was examining the
meat in a small butcher shop on a
back street. The greater part of the
meat was fairly good, but there was
one lot of pork and beef that was
rather questionable. The butcher
stood outside with a customer. The
inspector called him in.
Look here" he said what is
your opinion of this meat here ?"
The butcher looked it over. "I had
ct is pretty old stock
well, what is your opinion of it?"
my opinion" said the butcher
slowly, 'is that it is unfit for human
food; but it might do for sausage. -
Los Angeles Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26
KANSAS c0MMEET
NARROW ESCAPE.

Let's see. The principal contest at
that Great Bend convention that nom
mated the successor 10 Chester I. Long
from the Seventh congressional district
was between Murdoch and Fred Dumont
Smith. And it was a somewhat warm
contest, too. Suppose the result had
been only a little different and Smith
had been nominated, Kansas would be
in almost as bad a fix as oregon with
its congressional delegation senator
and congressman indicted for hood
ling. Wen, the Gazette didn't support
Red Murdoch, but it is powerfully glad
that Dumont Smith wasn't nominated
just the Standardization Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
LFrom the New York Press.l

IF'rom the New York Press.1
Some men would have a hard time be-
ing as crooked as their reputation.
We all guess at things. and. if thew
come out that way, swear we reasoned
it out.
A man never knows the Christmas
presents his wife has given him until the
bills come in.
A woman has an idea if she were a
man she would treat her sex just as if
she were a woman.
Unless man is married he is pretty
sure to make a girl think he is propos-
ing If he asks her what church she roes
to.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26
MOTHERS BABY.

There's nothing any sweeter
Than to watch the eyes
OF q baby. closing
To the lullabyes
OF its mothers grooming;
Rocking to and fro
Bye-O, bye-o baby,
Bye-o, bye-o-Io."
Now the eyelids hutter.
And the eye of brown
Look out for a moment,
Then they flutter down;
Softly. softly. softly
Swings the to and fro;
She's her mothers baby
Bye-O, bye-o-lo."
Now she's safe in Dreamland;
Oh, the witching vile
OF her ribboned tresses.
OF her Dreamland smilel
God watch Ger her ever
In LIES to and fro;
Father s. mothers baby;
Bye-O, bye-o-lo."
j. NJ. Lewis in the Houston Post
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26
BUSTER THAN a GAS METER.

The nnding out and CONVICTION Of boss
busters for crookedness and grating is
keeping the trusts newspapers mighty
busy these days trying to find some de-
Tense for the criminals. Some of these
newspapers are just now in mighty hot
water and the fluid is ''still a heatin. 3"
As a result there is more or less squirm-
ing in the ranks.-Holto Recorder.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26
LIVE THE sTMPLE ITFE.

After all, the simple home life is the
only one to live. Ambition in politics,
in business and in sport all lead to the
same end-a collapse of the physical
and oftimes the moral nature of man.
The all-wise Creator never intended
that man should live sixty miles a min
ute and the consequence of the sin are
inevitable upon himself and his posteri-
ty. There Is nothing on earth that this
country needs more than simple living
The human race will continue to degen-
crate physically and morally just as
long as this terrible pace is kept up. 1t
is a law of nature and nature always
pays her debts.-Logan Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

Doubtless those Nebraska cattle
barons were only technically guilty of
violating an obsolete law as Fred
DumOnt Smith would say. but you Will
notice that because they We're let off
with a light punishment one federal
officer in Nebraska has been removed
and another is facing the same dis
agreeable medicine. This is not very
encouraging for anybody who has been
only technically guilty" of commit
ting crimes against the federal laws in
Kansas.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26
Non 81 Ed.

F. Dumont Smith, the boss buster
leader in the last state senate who is
now under indictment for land frauds,
says he is not guilty. Yes. Burton said
the same thing. Mitchell said something
of that sort. Kelly says he is not guilty.
1t will be remem bered that all these big
grafters are perfectly innocent at the
start Smith went to the state senate
a poor man; served three terms and is
now rich, but of course he got it all in
legitimate manner. Smiths friends say
Cy Leland is at the bottom of the bust
ness. If Cy Leland puts few more
bossbuster frauds in the hole the people
Of Kansas will conclude that Uncle Cy
is not so bad a. fellow, after ALTMAN
kato Advocate.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

The senate would like to know how
the country can be kept from making
"cheap Jokes" at its expense. One
thing is certain: The country viii not
place the senate above the cheap joke
until the senate values itself highly
enough to lop of the grafters that oc-
oupy seats in the senate chamber.
when the United States senate is com
posed Of men of sufficient integrity to
represent the people who elected them
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26
SAME Old ENC

It does seem that the end of trou-
bic is never coming to the Republicans
who will not follow the straight and
narrow path along their line of duty as
public officials. The gang of politicians
at Topeka who made J. r. Burton
United States senator and have since
been following him are having rough
shedding of it. And the end is not yet
Smith County Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

Senator Depew paid $500 for
''Fads and Fancies," possibly to keep
something from being published ION"
him. Very likely he would be willing
to pay ten times that amount if he
could blot out some of the things that
have been published during the last
sig rnonths
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

When a man marries at twenty. there
isn't any reason: If he marries at tNzen-
ty-five, same thing or money; if it comes
off at thirty he has a theory about be
ing temperamentally suited" and if he
watts till thirty-five it is because she is
a good housekeeper.-W Washington Re
publican Register
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

instead of private and corporate inter
ests, then the people viii respect that
body sufficiently to cease making
cheap jokes about it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

What a foxy old rascal King Leopold
is! Here he has been secretly married
for a year, and nobody knew anything
about 1t for a year, at least not for
publication.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26
OUR SISTER REPUBLICs.

pices Cuba and Mexico have already
been brought closer to US in commerce,
in language and in daily habit than
either Porto Rico or the Philippines
New York Mail.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

''WiH the coming man marry %
asks DR.. Madison c. Peters. Well if
he escapes he will be a great deal
better at lodging than the going man
has been.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26
NuMBER Isl DEcREAs1NG.

grafters everywhere. there are mighty
few of them finding their way to prison.
Too many of them escape trouble by go
ing back to private Wilmington
(DeI1 News
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

Of private citizen, the affair of
King Leopold which has just been
made public viii be looked upon with
suspicion in view of his past life. and
it seems to call for a few remarks
from Mark Twain.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

The promptness of the comptroller
in dealing with the Walsh banks is all
that kept Chicago from getting into
the same clas sas Milwaukee, Pitts
burg. Peoria and Topeka.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

beautiful Italian Christmas weather,
but not even Naples could put up a
better brand of Christmas than Kansas
did yesterday. The State Journal
moves a rising vote of thanks to Mr..
Jennings for his thoughtfulness.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26
HE WHO LAUGHS LAST.

J. Pierpont Morgan, who is reported
to have lost $4,000. 600 in the Cincin-
natl, Hamilton & Dayton deal, doubt
less has passed many a. happy moment
laughing over the ignorant country
man who expended S137 for a beauti-
full gold brick.-ChicagO News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

another Kansas man is going around
the world. C. E. Sweet, a retired hard
ware merchant Of Coneordia, will make
the trip with his wife before long. 1t
is getting so that Kansas people don't
think much more of going out west and
coming back from the east than they
used to think of going up to Chicago.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

1t seems that the United States SEN
ate positively viii not ask for a di-
vorce from erring senators unless they
are landed in jail. How cOnsiderate!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

Fifteen years ago the consumption of
sugar in America was less than one and
a half n.tIion tons year. Now it is Two
snd a h1ls million tons. The greatest
amount ever produced by the Philippines
was 2oe,000 tons. and in recent years it
has not been that much. Even if W.
were to take all the sugar. produced in
the Philippines it would evidently have
little effect on the American market.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26
TAFT IS BIG ENOUGH.

Even though Secretary Taft in the
last FIVE and a half years has Travelled
the equivalent of four times around the
globe, astronomers still regard fair Luna
as its only satellite.-Boston Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

1t is said that Jimmie Hyde has
written a poem on the insurance in
vestigation. This ought to be sufh-
Gent provocation for Punishment at
least
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26
FROM OTHER PENS
DEFICITS AND THE sHAWs.

The Rev. Anna Shaw declares that
within the last century men have de-
Perforated two inches in size. Did you
ever see anything like the genius these
Shaws have for discovering deficits p
Charleston News and Courier.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

Mr.. Hartman does not approve the
manner in which Attorney Hughes is
conducting the insurance investiga-
ton. Mr.. Hartman can console him
self with the thought that he isn't the
only one who doesn't ike it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

At one place in this town the old
man has presented the young lady's
young man with the electric light bill,
but he says it is worth the price
Washington Register.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26
SHOuLD BE DONE

No arrangements have been made for
reprimanding men in authority at An
napolis who wink at prize lighting
Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26
IN MORMON TOWN.

BY going around town in a stealthy
manner, the police will undoubtedly be
able to catch the smoke nuisance COM
ing out of more than two chimueys.=
Salt Lake Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26
NOT INVITED.

A monkey broke up a girls party
down in Ohio. This monkey, however,
was not invited.-Chicago Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

Be patient with the postman. He
has had troubles of his own to bear
this week, as well as the joys Of other
people.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

If Young America could vote. what
a powerful campaign motto "A Full
Christmas Stocking" would make!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26
ne srCKER RATE

Tom Lawson is convinced that the pro
verbal birth rate of one sucker per min
ute should be one per seeond-AIilwau-
kee Sentinel
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

There were never before so many
reform governors.-St. Louis Post-Dis-
patch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

OF course Santa Claus brought you
''just what you wanted" or if he
didn't you are not impolite enough to
saw So
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

Perhaps Tom Lawson mortgaged hi.
home because Christmas was coming
other people felt like it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

Will Governor Hoch have anything to
offer as to the honesty and sincerity of
F. Dumont Smith? The governor is un-
fortunate in having 50 many friends who
need to be apologized for.-Miami Re
publican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

BY the way. isn't it about time for
Death Valley Scott to come to life
rain?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

OF course the bald headed man got
the usual number of military hair
brushes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

Who says Russia cannot produce
great generals2 Look at General
Strike
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

DR.. Depew is playing a listening part
at the public dinners of the season
New York Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

welcome to the school ma'ams!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26
ALREADY WELL WORN PERHAPS.

A shoe manufacturer says that
many of his orders for tan shoes are
being Cancelled and that he is in doubt
whether tan shoes are going to be
worn next season. We know of one
pair that will.-Boston Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

Mother-Whati Fighting again? Such
a black eyei If you'd only follow the
lead of the minister's little boy"
Tommy-Aw, I did try ter foIler his
lead, but he led again wild his left an
dats where he biffed me.-Philadelphia
Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

Senator. would you personally accept a
railway pass2"
mo, indeed. My secretary always looks
after that."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

SAY paw" queried little Ebenezer
Cornshucks, what did tn preacher mean
yesterday when he sed leave no stone
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

Il low mebby he meant tn grindstone,
my son." replied the old man. Come
with me to the Woodshed an Wen apply
tn text Chicago Daily News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

Traveler-I hear you nave had a great
revival in this town?
Westerner-Yes Why. even the
gamblers had to join the church or lose
their customers.-NeW York Weekly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

''say, boss said the ragged individual,
tare you a philant-ropist2"
Yes, my man., answered the wei
groomed one. i believe may say that
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-26

Mr.. Crossings-I wanter git We t find
my unbereF-I yes lost it,
The umbrella clerk-Well, my dear sir
I am very sorry, but we don't find losi
umbrellas.
Mr. Crossings-Wa-al gol ding it: why
in tarnatiOn hev We got that peslxy sigT
out thar sayin' -umberels recovered while
We wait Judge.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-03-23
African Cotton Growinq.

The commissioners sent to East Africa by the British government have returned, and they have filed report. They say in substance that insuperable difficulties prevent the growing of cot ton in East Africa on a considerable scale. The negro of East Africa will not work, and unless peons can be brought from India or China, not much cotton can be raised.
 West Africa and South Africa will confirm the story, if need be. The truth is that while India, China and Japan may grow cotton for home con sumption, the commercial crop of the world will continue to be made in Egypt and the United States. Egypt may yet grow couple of million bales of high-grade cotton, leaving to the United States the growing of the bulk of the worlds great crop.
 iulb WILL lOu6 pS inC olIudLlOu SiAu- ply because sunshine and moisture are intermingled in the cotton states of this country as they are not elsewhere in the world. The crop in Egypt is irrigated by artificial means. Scarcely a bale of the worlds commercial crop is grown outside or this country ex- cept under artificial conditions. In this country cotton has the sunshine and the moisture that nature supplies, and as a rule both are fully equal to the needs of the crop. Whatever crop in size the world needs this country stands ready to supply. A crop of fourteen million bales shows what can be done here if proper inducements are held out. When the world needs from us crop of fifteen million bales, or even one of twenty million bales, it will be forthcoming, always pro vided sufficient notice of the worlds needs is given.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-03-23
Canal Prospects Under a ClOud.

The administration sent Dr. Charles A. L. Reed of Cincinnati to inspect officially the sanitary conditions of Panama, and his eport-official- charges the canal commission, espe- cially MT. Grunsky, with hindering and almost upsetting the sanitary plans of Colonel Gorgas, the chief sanitary off cer. Dr. Reed considers the commits sion responsible for the presence of yellow fever at the isthmus, not Colo nel Gorgas. The latter was thwarted at every turn by the commission, and red tape was brought in to the fullest possible extent. The X-ray apparatus tardily furnished proved worthless; microscopes other than those desired by Colonel Gorgas were purchased; in- competent nurses were selected, and so on to the end of the chapter. Dr. Reeds report was first published in the Journal of the American Medical association, and it's charges have drawn a reply from the canal commis- sion. Few if any of Dr. Reeds state ments have, however, been disproyed.
 Walter Wellman, the correspondent of the Chica Record-Herald, does not hesitate to say that the reports re- ceived at the capital show that graft is prevalent at the isthmus. While no one believes that the members of the commission are grafters, it is believed that they are clumsy managers. They are not well organized, and the result is that many irregularities are re- ported. The canal seems in fact to be unfortunate. It's entire history is one of blunders, mistakes, jobs and even disasters. The American grafter has succeeded the French swindler, and unless President Roosevelt can bring order out of disorder, efficiency out of incompetency, and energy out of clumsiness, the canal will not be speedily dug.