davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03
Romantic.

How romantic IL would be" said the
girl with the blue eyes. "fCr one 10 have
big. strong and handsome lover almost
killed in an automobile wreck or some
thing. and then taken TO a hospital. only
TO toss in delirium and call ones name;
aud for one % so to him and comfort
him. and marry him while he lay pale
and helpless on his cot"
wouldn't IL be beautiful" said the
orown-eyed girl
And" concluded the blue-eyed girl.
have all the nurses just dying with
envy. "-Brooklyn Life.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03
The j. v. Hawkins
HAIR GROWER & RESTORES.
4Is Cochran St, Dallas, Tex.

To which all state and national RI yhts have bean
reserved enjoys thu reputation OF an enornoas
nome patrunags IN first class white and colored
tAnilies Its wonderful success A. thrown il into
prominence IN this and other states. and whenever
once used the patron Is never satisfied until her
discovery o TINS hair grower aud resoreI has been
made known 70 her neares friend
Mrs. Mary Watson Of 1915 ST. Peter St a promi-
nent lady OF this community who usei our prepara
l3n Tor snort tlme only herein testides 20 it's
value aud wonderful results by permitting Us 20 use
her picture.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03
A Touch Of Nature

Mr.. Meek Ton street carl find that
have no money 90 pay my fare this morn.
Ing. l have had my pocket picked
Conductor (bluntly) That old story
won't go here. Pay. OF giU
Mr.. Meek-lt WASH a pickpocket My
wife went through my clothes before
got up
Conductor (sympathe:fcallvl-
right. Pay next time.-N. Y. Weekly.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03
Unnecessary Alarm.

The French are reported to be slightly
anxious about the effect of California
competition on their wine trade. Anxi-
ETY. must be easily excited I'M France il
'he rivalry OF a state producing 5000. 900
gallons OF wine annually can excite the
apprehension of people who raise over
L'Oo.0oo.0O0 gallons in the same period.
San Francisco Chronicle.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03

Nose Possum-Docs yo' know woi
'tmpale' means. Pete2
Pete Persimmons- Sutunly. "Tm
pale means TO a pusson ter grow
pale.
Nose Possum-Wot Ignorance, I'm.
pale means ter bee transhxed on q
sharp-pointed Implement
Pete Persimmous- Wa-al. amt dat
enough ter make a pusson grow pale?-
Judge
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03

The wooden horse had been hauled in
side the gates of Troy.
Bully, exclaimed the Troians
well have. the iron horse next"
But certain inside facts concerning
the horse that leaked ost during the
night DELAYED the fulfument OF that
giittering dream for ages. Chicago
Tribune
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03

What asked the young bard. will
81 cost me 90 have these poems pub
lishei I'm book form?"
ooh" replied the publisher after
hastily reading The opening lines. L
should say abou, s25O-and YOUR
friends Chicago Record-Herald.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03

It Will positively remove Dandrutf Cure Scalp
Of all impurities, Restore Hair Clean Temples
OF Bald Heads. where the roots not dead
PRIcEs;-25 cts. per box OocAl orders 80 c,s
ont city; eight boxes, $50 express prepaid.
The Face Beautiher makes the use OF powder
tirelv unnecessary, and is perfectly harmless III
remove all pimples. splotches and black heads Sale
prices; %, scots and 81 90.
Money can be sent by Post Office Money Order
or Express Money Order.
Address all communications TO
NINE J. V. HAWKINS,
6t2 y. First Street. Richmond, Va.
'PHONE. 1901. E~-Correspondenc
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03
Another Reason

Teacher-We will now have an ex
ample IN division. Tommy. If your
father brought home 20 shillings. tc
divide equally -ith your mother. what
would she get?
Tommy shillings
Tommy. you don't know your les
SON"
NO. ma'am; but I know my moth
er."-CassclTs.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03

Husband-My dear. did you notice
that gentleman who just got off the bus
Wife-DO you mean that dark. heavy.
set man in the light gray suit. brown hat
and low tan shoes. wearing a rundown
collar with a narrow black tie and dia-
mond pin. carrying a book and a silk up
brella. with heavy. gold-mounted han
die?
Husband-Nes; I expect
Wife-No didn't notice him; why?
Royal Magazine.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03
Thev Never Wenr Ont

"A man may lose his usefulness in &C
years" reflected the professional hui
morist, but fortunately that is not the
case with a joke"
Slightly revamping the mother-in-law
gag. he sent il forth once more upon its
travels.-Chicago sun.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03

u hope You have clear conscience
IN 'his matter"
We'll answered the man who had
been indicted for graft. 81 have the
next best thing"
what is thate"
a good lawyer Washington Star.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03
At the Hippodrome.

The Monkey-COngratulations. old
man, hear it's boy?
Fond Papa Elephant (gleefully)-
That's what, And the little rascal
weighed just 32l pounds and is trumpet
ing for hay already.-The Keeper.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03
Liked the Other Lam Best

Her Aother-You VIII assume a
grave responsibility when you marry
my daughter. Remember. she was
brought up in the lap of luxury.
Her Adorer-Oh. she's pretty well
used 20 my lap now.-Ti,
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03
To Err Is Human

"Cranksmith is right in the prime Of
life, isn't he?"
He may be right in that for all
know; but he is wrong in nearly every
thing else. Town Topics.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03

Il got on the right side of little
Miss Prltty last night"
and l got on the left side OF her
the night before. and we Quarreled"
What came between your"
"Her vaccination. Houston Post.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03
YOUNG MEN
.

How would you like to secure a
commission as an officer under Uncle
SAM If you are between the ages
or Ia and 80 years, possess the neces
Sary common school education. are
moral, persistent. and can pass the
required physical examination send
me four one cent stamps TO pay pos
tage. and ! will mail you a personal
letter, literature. etc, that will tell
you of the qualifications required
Tor positions leading TO promotions
OF high rank as an officer in our ar
my or navy.
III. w. PHILLIPS,
Louisville, lay.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03

County Treasurer suppose you are
getting ready to take in all the bail
games, Doc?
County Coroner Not me- see
enough cases of foul play as it is
Cincinnati Commercial-Trib
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03

First Bear-Aren't you going to see
the president?
Second Bear-No; he has requested
that no attention be paid to him while
in Colorado.--N Y. Sun
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03
Her Status.

did ! understand you TO say the
lady was an authoress?"
well, no, not exactly. I should call
her an authorize. Record.
Herald.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03

slummoch Cbraggingly)-M wife and
I never quarrel
Slyman-Bless me; do you give way
as much as all that?-Ally Sloper.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03

Smith-Our new folding bed resem-
bles a piano.
Jones-And does your snoring resem-
BILE sheet music?-Chicago News.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03
Expensive cnllectinr

Well. well, Cooley. I'm surprised
AZ you! How did you get into this
condition.
Couldn't help II. Met Bracer t'day
an asked him for that (hic) dollar he
owed me- Had TO buy half dozhen drinks
fore he'd give II to me. "-Philadelphia
Press.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03
Wanted Something Similar

Customer want you TO make these
suits three sizes too big. Have the
pants baggy and get the general ef
feet as shapeless as possible.
Tailor-Why my dear sir. I-I-are
you
CustOmer-No; I'm not crazy. sim
ply didn't have time 10 buy any clothes
while I was in London. CHICAGO sun
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03

Algy-Haw. hawi The fellah mis-
took me for wax image and kicked me
60 see if l was alive. Haw. haw! Good
lokei And when he saw was alive, he
kicked me again because he was SO mad.
Served him right for being such a
donkey, / Chicago News.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03
Annual Statement
For the Fiscal Year Ending the 31st day of Dec 1904
OF the actUal condition of the AMERICAN BENE-
FICIAL INSURANE COMPANY,

ga nlzed under the laws of the State of Virginia made
to the Auditor of Public Accounts for the Cononvl f
Virginia, pursuant to the laws Of Virginia.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03

He-She save currency to false ru-
mors.
She-Where did she get the curren-
cy?
He-By drawing on her imagination.
Northern Budget.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03
10 the Weather Cooks.

AZ the WSoInef COOKS.
To venture you may safely dare
To state this as a law
All people Ike their weather rare.
But no one likes Il raw.
Louisville Courier-Journal
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-06-03
GONZALES

The Greatest Clairvoyant &
Fortune Teller the WorlC
Has Ever Known
Unites Separated Brings back tn,
one you Love, Helps Quickly ali II
Trouble.
Removes Evil Influences. Cures Mys
terious Diseases, Gives Luck and Sn,
cess. Send Lock of Hair. Date of Brit
aud ~ cents. Ask three questions an,
receive Horoscope and Lucky Birth
stone by mail. GONZALES, 1856 Be,
gen ST.. Brooklyn. New York.
tl-S-l3-6n,
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1905-12-01
y - (Communlcated.D
SOME CHRIST CHURCH FACTS.

EDITOR CITIZEN: --"''s Dj t--
Noticing your editorial comments in
late issue of the CITIZEN on the
Christ church dissertation, which hap
pened twenty-six years ago, and which
the Leading secular and religious papers
of the State have just ''got next to-" /
would like to say a few words in
defense of the Episcopalians of the
Northern Neck. AS we repeat in the
prayer book: eve have done those
things which we ought not to have
done, and we have left undone those
things which we ought to have done.
and among the many things the Epis-
copalians have left undone was to lock
the doors of old Christ church In wears
gone by, leaving it open and a refuge
for all persons bent on mischief, as
occurred when the young "a men
(twenty-six years ago. carried on
high jinks' in the sacred edifice. But
for more than ten years a caretaker
has been employed, whose duty il is to
look after the church; other improve
ments have been. made, among them
being new slate roof, walls kalso-
mined, the old font and communion table
restored, etc. There still remains a
great deal to be done. The interior and
exterior needs painting, the catside
walls need patching here and there,
he grounds need fixing up, aad the
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1905-12-01
RESOLVED-

That every day should be Thanksgiy-
ing! You should be thankful each day
you can see. Suppose you were blind
awhile; you'd only want your sight, and
you'd give up all forit. Well, it is only
one of the things you have to be thank
full for. Some people can't see with
good eyes because they have bad dis
position. They only see the prosperity
and happiness Of others. They don't
see that the others work, honestly and
conscientiously, while they sit around and
kick. Come, boys, be thankful you live
IN an age when we can believe what we
please and say what we please. An age
when religion and science are the same
thing. Superstition, and ignorance, and
form, and ceremony, and hate have
gone. Love and good will are with US.
-..a... BUSTER BROWN.
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1905-12-01
aMIDDLEsEx { NOTES s..

r. A. Bristow is still at Cape Charles
where he has been some weeks at the
bedside OF his son who remains criti-
cally i'll. lam O. L.I.-tei ;sdV bao1
Capt. H. C. Dayton is down for a
week, running the Dillard again. He
Will return this week to Baltimore and
expects to bring his new steamer. the
DR.. Newbill, down about December 10th
"A school Improvement league has been
organized at Urbanna with the follow
ing officers: President, Mrs. A. ID.
Alexander; Vice-President, Hon. T. G.
Jones; Secretary, w. H, Ryland; Treas
urer, Mrs. c. c. Christian. llT
Quite number of cases of typhoid
fever have lately developed in and
around Urbanna. but physicians are
keeping the sick we'll in hand. "a''"
Little Evans, the boy that accidently
killed little Walter Hurley, is almost
insane from grief over the tragedy. 90
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1905-12-01
THE PRIMARY RECURs.
From Loudoun Enterprise.)


We most heartily concur in the senti-
.ment expressed in the following ex-
TRACT from an editorial in the WASHING
tonian-M Mirror: T--
- As to any legislation on the oues-
ton Of the primary election system, we
had better move slowly. The effect of
The primary election system on the
party IN the State, as shown by the
last primary election, has materially
modlhed the views of many of us who
were ardent advocates of the, system.
before this last election, and has much
changed our opinion as to it's utility
-siad-1T Wisdom. 1t has been to a serious
eNSGTnt the source of dissentions. bick-
erinys and divisions among our poll
texans, which will take a long time to
'sool down 70 that condition where com
mon sense can take hold of and man
age Its experience has certainly left
US anything but a loving, harmonious
political household. 1t engendered per-
sonal animosities in every community
OF the State, which bodies no good to
the party. Let the party managers do
a great deal of cool thinking on the
primary system before another State
election, and probably we may adopt
some other way to get the sense of
our voters as to who should be our can
didates.'' .e'-I.--~
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1905-12-01
SITUATION AT WILLIAM MARY.


The newspapers have gotten hold of
little tip report in respect to the sickness
at William & Mary College, the authori-
ties very properly suppressing events
for fear of exaggeration. Parents of
boys attending from this section have
been much wrought up over the situa-
tion, and the meagre tidings has kept
many in suspense. The CITIZEN has
been repeatedly asked and written to
about the situation, but until now we
had little or no information.
According to the report of President
Robert M. Hughes, of the Board of
Visitors, there is no epidemic of ty-
phoid fever at the institution and the
conditions there are not so serious as
they have been reported. Mr.. Hughes
said that a young man came to the
college from Loudoun county and was
sick when he arrived. Every attention
was given him, but the malady was
pronounced typhoid. Shortly after five
other cases developed and all of these
were on the same floor with young
Freeman, who is the only patient thought
seriously sick. No cases have come to
light within the past two weeks, so
says Mr.. Hughes.
A letter to the CITIZEN from Will
liamsburg states that the six cases are
OF mild form. About fifty students
have gone home, but the writer says
this was not necessary.
IAN of the above information ante
dated young Mitchell's death.
The School Board of williamsburg
has closed the primary public school,
on account of diphtheria epidemic.
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1905-12-01
ditOr puts it. We have zone to this

editor puts it. We have gone to this
length for the purpose of correcting
whatever erroneous impressions may
have Ueeu made; to acquIt the South
eyu Chrrchman of any part in the
vivid imagination that warped the
shsdow of something long forgotten
into a latter-day event that might
righteOusly spread Indignation, and
to defend our people against imputa-
uons Of lawieSsuess. We have no
POLICY to offer "the writer" of
the Churchman article since "The
Writer" essayed, through the COL
umns of our contemporary at War
saw which had also repudiated the
toror to make a violent attack last
week upon the CITIZENS editor. We
90 not know the writer, and do not
care. to answer his uncalled for
eensures nor display such scrimony.
Nothing in that disconnected writing
In the slightest corrects or modifies
our original comments save the state
ment that the marble font had re-.
manned in Grace church for years
1cithOut being used, We attempted no
apologies for any participants in re-
poted orgies twenty-five yeEs ago.
and our interest in the preservation
of the old church is we'll known
to those whose eyes do not look
thronsh veruier glasses. ua.a3 71a -3
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1905-12-01
RUSSIA, TURKEY, ET AIS.

All the navy at Sevastopol has mu-
tinted and the Russian authorities fear
to attack them with the forts and lad
forces as IL is runored these will de-
clare for their rebel comrades rather
than fight them E
About 1900 Russian sailors at Sevas-
topol mutinied. Rear-Admiral Pisarevski
was shot in the shoulder, Captain Stein
was killed and General Neplueff, com
mander of the fortress, was taken
prisoner. Rumors of revolt among the
Manchurian troops have added gravity
TO the situation. The proposition of
declaring Grand Duke Nicholas Nicho-
laievitch dictator is being considered,
but it is feared such a step would only
cause the whole country to burst into
revolution. 1t is believed peace can be
restored only by Count Witte demand
ing that the Emperor grant a constitu-
ton. 1t is reported ex-prisoners of war
returning to Vladivostol1 revolted, kill
ing two officers and w0unding five
others. r.. ...-.l -r-f.HI .u,aIo ..r
Simon Wolf, of Washington, former
president Of the B'nai Birth declared
IN an address that he feared the recent
atrocities in Russia win bring another
exodus Of Jews to this country.
The fleets Of the allies have seizeS
the entrance to the Dardanelles and Il
is believed the Sultan Of Turkey vii
now accede to Europe's demands foi
the control of Macedonia. uoy lo 1oob
Wars and rumors Of wars are decid
edly in evidence at the beginning of the
present century. The curtain has bare
ly fallen upon one sanguinary case Of
nation rising against nation when the
Sultan of Turkey openly defes al
European powers and is standing or
the defensive with the impregnablt
Dardanelles between him and the al
lied feet. From an ordinary stand
point it would seem to be prepos.
ferrous for the Porte alone to attempt
TO thwart the will of Europe, but
viewed from another it is evident that
ne has in his power the means Of pre-.
cipitating a conflict which might be.
come almost universal. There is nc
telling what would be the result ir
case the. Sultan was vanquished anC
attempts made to divide Turkey ir
Europe among the powers. Apart from
this the fanaticism of the followers Of
Mahomet is likely to bring on VIVA;
Moslems call holy war. The area oc
cupied by the latter is extensive anC
their numbers are countless. India
Persia, Arabia, Syria, Egypt and al
the country as far as the Straits OF
Gibraltar contain believers in Mahomet
and the great majority of them woulC
flock to his standard. Alexandria Ga
zette.
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1905-12-01
/, g2l-Ea % ALA at8I DU0MlolL IA q
SAVE THE YOUNG OYSTERS

From reports reaching here conditions
on the oyster rock are becoming serious.
The chronic Complaint about planters
moving out stakes is on the Increase
Also that the oyster authorities in al
lowing planters to dredge5 their planted
ground take, no notice of the latter when
they go outside their stakes and, tres
pass upon the natural rock. The longer
says the planter and buyer are allowed
to violate the Gull law, but the longer
is made to pay for his violations. ~.
On the other hand, the tongers of the
Corrotoman have secretly banded to-
gether to ignore the Gull laws and nut
the inspectors to all the trouble thew
can. Feeling sggrieved they have de.
cided, as one man, TO take and catch all
shells and small oysters they can, know
ing that the officials can only catch a
small percentage of the depredators
They have provided themselves with
fog horns, and sound the alarm I'D and
down the river when a police boat or
Inspector is seen. .-.4...
o. II these reports be true, and we have
reasons to believe some of them: a dis
tressing condition exists In our OYSTER
region, one that calls for attention ON
the part of the authorities We dislike
to advertise such conditions, but if
hushed up there is little likelihood of
remedy. But the unrest of the oyster
people has grown to such proportions
that it is no longer mere whisper. q /" 4
1t is stated there never was known
such growth of young oysters in the
Corrotoman as this season. 81 ...f,,.f
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1905-12-01
''ATtENTIoN, VIRGINIA EDITORS,

We warn the Virginia Press Assoeia-
ton not TO consider the advisability of
.hobnobbing in joint session with our
Kentucky brethren. The ''Tar-heels',
did US up brown" last year, but there
is danger that Kentucky might do Us up
done. - Virginia Citizen. .t
That's all right about Kentucky. but
what Of the proposal to have a mid
wintermeeting with the Carolina editors
on Virginia soil? The proposal was to
assemble in Richmond and go to Florida
We rather think the Carolina brethren
are waiting for an invitation. Rich
nOnd Times-Dispatch- ....
There is something in it. The
Carolina boys are certain of bid to
join us at the annual meet next sum-
mer. The matter of mid-wiuter
meet aud a trip to Cuba was dis.
cnsSed aud by consent left TO the ex-
ecut'ye committees of the two organ
izations, if our memory is not ut fault
Peers to US it will soon be time to
meet and consult. .... r-... ..
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1905-12-01

vaults of king" Carter and others
have toppled over and the stones are
scattered about and nond placing in
position. The handful of Episcopalians
N the Northern Neck have done re-
remarkably well considering the means
at their disposal. The Virginia His
torical Society and the Daughters of
the American Revolution, whose aim
and purpose it is to perpetuate and
hand down to unborn generations colo
NAL buildings and relics, should be only
too willing to assist in preserving this
historic landmark the oldest Profess
tant church in America and not wait
until the ruthless hand of Time has
treated il like its predecessor at James
town-left only the bare walls standing.
EPISCoPALIAN.
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1905-12-01
GIVE THANKSi

Give thanks for what you have now,
Give thanks for what you have had,
Give thanks for what there is coming
TO you,
Give thanks with hearts that are glad.
Give thanks for health and for strength,
For friends and for those that you love;
Give thanks for this beautiful world
below, .,.... ....,-
For God and for Heaven above.
It's God who has given you all;
To Him let your thanks arise.
He is waiting to give you more than this
In His home beyond the skies.
t'H j. p. BLAIR.