The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-02-18

woman. He asks Lucas Malet to an
swer the question, but perhaps there
| will be no objection to some one else
having a try at it, especially as Mr..
Kitchens is not likely to hear about it.
Mr.. Kitchens thinks women ought to
like unselhshness, solicitude, and a
greater humbleness in men but his OBJ
servation has been that the selfish. care
less and conceited men are often adored
by women. Upon my word,' he goes
on to say, ait sometimes seems to me
as If women think a man unnanlv
when he is unselfish, as if they think
less of him than of the trampline
selfish tyrant who orders them about
and will not let them do anything thew
want to do. unless it also happens to
be what he wants to do"
Although Mr.. Kitchens confesses that
he is only a blind groper after truth
and begs for light upon a mystery too
deep for his comprehension it must be
owned that the foregoing sentence
proves that he is at least warm Wo-
men-at least many women-do like the
masterful man. 1t is a survival of the
prehistoric ante-social conditions when
a man won a woman with a club and
the woman liked it. They still like 1t.
OF the modern equivalents of the club
DON'T want q man to beat me" said
a clever young woman who visited in
/ Topeka few seasons ago. but I
| wouldn't feel that 1 loved him unless I
was sure that he could beat me and I
would still love him" Brutality more
or less polished, according to their class.
still wins with many women. Perhaps
it is not too much to say that it has its
attraction for all women If it is not re-
vealed in a manner shocking to their
prejudices and their notions of what
is due them as women. OF course they
don't admit that they like brutality.
But most of them will tell you that
they like a gentle master" They all
they cali a sissy" Just the same a
whole lot OF them marry what other
women call "sissies' and they make
quite satisfactory husbands, too, it
seems.
But that brings US to another con-
sideration of this subject-one that
should have been taken up at the be-
ginning really-and that is, what in a
lover pleases woman often displeases
her in a husband. The same is doubt
less true of sweethearts and wives and
this may explain the great difference
often to be noted between the first and
second choice of man or woman who
marries second time. So perhaps Mr..
Kitchens would be surer of a compre-
hensive and dependable reply to his
question If he put it this way: What
does a young, inexperienced and roman
tic woman like in man2 And in what
of an older, more practical and exper-
fenced woman. In other words, what's
the difference in a wonan's opinion of
men before and after taking? Not that
q woman changes so much. Tt some
times seems doubtful II we change at
alI-if we are not to the end of time, for
all the preaching and the praying, the
striving or the drifting, the varied in
fluences, good and bad among which we
are thrown, what we were at the begin
ming. It is a difficult question, this
question of our moral and ethical des-
tiny. Perhaps, at the last analysis, we
must all more or less declare our con-
victions in the Calvin paradox.
But burnt child breads the fire
and the woman who has loved and
worshipped at the feet of a selfish
blind and ignorant devotion, and
finally recovered from it, If one ever
really does recover from such things,
will look with a sharpened eye upon
qualities of the first viii repel her if
they are evinced in just the same man.
ner in another. Often in the violence
of reaction qualities quite different from
those of the first man will appeal to
her. She will fall in love with the very
opposite Of the one who first attracted
her or at least marry hfr1-you can
never really tell when woman IS in
love and indeed how could you eXpect
to when she doesn't know herself? 1t
is safe to say though to Robert Hichens
or any other seeker after truth, that no
woman likes sissy man. OF course
they marry them. Beggars and women
can't be choosers. But no woman, no
real woman, likes the man who is
small, petty, exacting, persnickety," as
some of the girls say. And although
younger women, girls at the caramel
and matinee hero stage, admire, as Mr..
Hichens has observed. the selfish.
trampling tyrant," the Older woman,
the woman of judgment and experience
with human character, likes him no bet
ter than she does the sissy" This
doesn't saw either. that she doesn't fall
in love with him, because the wisest
women is easily fooled. II man is
big and manly looking and has hne eyes
and a welI-shaped head, evidence of
brain and courteous manners it is hard
to believe that he may be at heart
cad and a coward whom only close
will reveal in his true
light Under such circumstances de- !
ceived by his fair-seeming and his fine
talk a. woman may fall in love with /
such man, and after she is in love and
the harm is done she may keep on low
ing him especially If she has con-
slant and affect1onate ulsposItlon, even
after she sees him as he is, understands
the seIfshness the brutality, the heart |
lessness of his nature But on thar ac-
count don't imagine that she likes ana
aduires the seIhshness, the brutality |
and the heartIessnesS. She puts up |
with them and makes the best OF them |
because she is a woman-a strange |
creature with a dog-like devotion, lick /
ing the hand that strikes her.
But it is only the unself1sh woman |
who is canable of an affection of that /
sort. The selfish woman rarely marries
4 selfish man. They don't get that far; /
or if they do it is brief experiment |
soon ending in the divorce court The |
,nasterf,lI woman marries the "easy'' |
man. The affectionate submissive wo-
man. the tyrant. OF course she is game |
and declares s1a wouldn't have any |
other kind. But if she is a woman of |
nerception and Judgment she soon dis |
covers that his selfishness is not manH-
ness nor his bullying propensities