The Hocking sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1871-1906, 1905-12-14
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1--WE DeyOnu tne income tney WISH tney
had. Life.
Teacher-Johnny, what happened on
July one hundred and thirty years
ago? JOHNNY dunno, ma'am. I
amt but ten.--Clevelan Leader.
Teacher-Can you tell me the differ
ence between "like" and ''love?" Small
Boy-Yes, ma'am. l like my father
and mother, but love pie.--Ram's
Horn. ,tl
Old Lady--How can you use such
shocking language? Old Woman
Beg pardon, mum, but 1 be very deaf,
and cawn't rightly ear wot says.
Punch.
Hewitt-Why did you cut that fel-
low who just bowed to you? Jewet--I
was getting back at him; he perform
ed an operation on me while ago.
Town Topics.
what" asked Miss Elderleigh, did
papa say when you asked him for
mc?" "He didn't say anything. He
fell on my neck and wept."-Chicago
Record Herald.
"You are always having more or
less trouble, aren't your" said the SYM
pathetic friend. you are mistaken"
answered the Gar, with hauteur; I'VE
never have less."-Washington Star.
"Kind lady," remarked the weary
wayfarer, "can you oblige me with
something to eat?" go to the wood
shed and take few chops" replied
the kind lady.-Philadelphla Record.
Mrs. De Fashion lat children's
party) - Marie! Nurse Girl - Yes.
ma'am. Mrs. De Fashion-Its time
for us to go home. Which Of these
children is mine?-New York Weekly.
Ethel Ito her friend in spectacles)-
And what is to be your profession,
Mary3 Mary-Oh, I'm going to be a
tragic poetess. Ethel-But, my dear,
that's not a profession. It's a disease.
Wife (reading)-Here's an account
of a man who left home one evening
after supper six months ago to get
shaved, and he hasn't been seen since.
Husband-Huh!. l suppose he Is still
waiting for his turn.
II see that Q letter supposed to have
been written by Henry VIII. has just
brought $1,000" 'That's nothing. A
letter of mine just brought $4,000"
"IndeedT "Yes, to girl who sued
me for breach of promise"
"What do you mean by writing
Among the prettiest girls at the dance
was Captain Andrews? The captain
is a man." Eyes, but he spent most
of his time among the prettiest girls
re."-Philadelphia Telegraph.
"You are owned by the trusts, body
and SOUL" howled the foreign manu-
facturer, "and yet you call yourself a
free American" mot me-" calmly
answered the Congressman. II come
high, II anybody asks you."-Ledger.
"See what l got!" cried Bobby, a
clty-bred boy, us he came running
from chicken coop, holding in his
hand a china egg. "Oh, go put 1t
backw exclaimed Mabel, his 6-yenr-
old sister, that's the egg the hen
measures by."-Judge.
"It seems to me-" exclaimed Aunt
Rachel, you two are always quar-
reling when / come in" "On the con-
trary, ma'am," vociferated the mascu-
line end Of the domestic controversy,
"you always happen in when were
quarreling!'-Chicago Tribune.
Little Clarence-Paw-uh! Mr.. Cal
llpers-Well, my son? Little Clarence
Paw, when doctor is sick and sails
in another doctor to doctor him, is the
doctor doctored the way he wants to
be doctored or does the doctor doctor
him Just as he thinks he ought to be
doctored?
Teacher-Now, Willy, supposing you
accidentally stood on gcntleman's
foot what would you say2 Willy--I
would say, "Beg pardon" IF the
gentleman gave you five cents fol-
being polite, what would you do?'
II would stand on the other, and say,
Beg pardon
Gee whiz!" said George for the
twentieth time, ut makes me mad ev-
cry time think Of the ten dollars !
lost to-day. ] actually feel as If I'd
like to have somebody kick me-" by
the way, George" said the dear girl,
dreamily, "don't you think you'd bet.
ter speak to father this eveningY-
Clipped.
The Merchant ito applicant)-Whers
did you work last? The Office Boy
Fer de Gotham Life Insurance Comp
ny. The Merchant-HOw'd you come
to quit? The Office Boy-One day de
president patted me on de head an
advised me ter be honest an never
tell lie, an snorted right out in
spite of meself.-Brookly Life.
spending the holidays on a farm,
/ hobnobbed good deal with the gar.
dener, an old bachelor, thin, unshav,
en-, dry-you know the type" said a
gentleman. "'Sam,' said to him one
day, why don't you marry?' Sam only