New-York tribune., 1905-08-24
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Dr. Keen the famous Philadelphia physician
praisng the speed OF his profession in performing
operations told story OF English surgeon who
had performed successfully difficult and delicate
operation a millionaire bankers wife. The bill
that he rendered for this operation a large
one. 1t was not exorbitant. but 1t was enough-a
reasonable and just bill
The banker. though thought otherwise. With an
imprecaton, he declared the bill to be an outrage
Why" he cried, the operation took you only ten
minutes
The surgeon laughed.
obi he said. IF that is your only objection, the
next time any member OF your family needs
operation I'll keep the subject two or three hours
under the knife
TWENTY MINUTES FOR DINNER
I'm hungry as I well can be.
Ny pocketbook's by no means light
H9t To HttH satfs{Rg {RFGSReS5 m% apeette. een see
Before a bountifui repast
I very will take my seat
But can never never 1,aiifHs swaow fast. last
There's soup I know; there's also fish:
It's not unlikely there is game;
No finer roasts man could wish;
But will hardly fill my plate
Ere must beat a quick retreat
The train, it's certain. will not wait.
There's twenty minutes time TO eat
But when the have regalned
1 take my seat. and shortly I'm
Inevitably grieved and paned
To find that l had lots of time.
schemes that designed
The famished traveller to cheat
The most atrociOus to my mind.
Is twenty minutes time to eat.
-CChicago News.
THE London Tatler'' tells why no hymn with a
number less than 81 is sung at the English Church
at Monte Carlo A member of the congregation
once used the hymn sung at a morning service
No. 81, as a tip, and left the church to put the
maximum on 80. II turned up. Gossip about his
inspiration led a number of persons the follow
TO he her 0f he las
Again it The next Sunday the church could
not accommodate the crush of worshppers but
their intent was frustrated the highest number
the roulette table is S6 and 81 is lowest
number given out in the church
ef hes vs SO tSa r Of
vertsements in the back of the magazines .Did
you ever learn anything by correspondence?''
ing up some bitter dregs from the cup Of n1eInorT
Indeed! What form of correspondence did you
Love Ietters.'-(C Chicago News
dealer In trunks and travelling bags tells of an
odd business which he does in summer The vaca-
ton goer who has trunk or valise hires one
New trunks, OF course cannot be had on lease
Only the second hand ones are thus let out ..You
see." said the dealer there are a good many voun,
people-clerks. statesmen, stenographers. male and
female-that want vacation of only a week or so
and they don't care about going to the expense Of
buying valise or a trunk. Borrow? Oh yes
they could borrow. suppose: but you know what
opinion people have Of trunk borrowers especially
in vacation time" He rents trunks for 81 = vyaslr
bags for 50 cents.
WHEN SCHOOL GETS OCTEN ME
Ma tot me onct that boys what r1lnned
Away from school an such
An wUddcn' mount to much
She said at must go an stay
Penned ike a pig in school all 4 1-
An learn TO pars
an spell.
an tite
But boys jes halter play
An when starts to go to schoc,
An pass along an see
Tom jores a-diggin' tat hit seems
AT That i5ea 5ehS9l sol g{5 gf5 9Gten Po% n, ne
dared to carry home them hsh
would be
'Twould grieve her so '1''
an me an
Would feel hick'ry switch
To be no President:
I'd ruther circus show
An nave a circus tent;
Wbs1e haH be erosee tne king geas OF 6ens an s lie
Fer whut's the good
When a all vor
Don't kings git slowed
an fall2
Then dun
Is all they pump an style.
".
So, when | starts go 10 school
An pass along
Tom Jones a-diggin bait. hit seems
All school gifts outen me
chunks behind the shed my book
Fer whut is school to pole hook
An mossy banks
an streams
clear?
Then ma, she spanks
My screams
- oh, dear
Full ev'ry crack and nook
But, still. mex time when Tom see
A-disxin' bait schools outen ma
ATLANTA Constitution.