davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
SMITH NEVER DIssENTED.
Was Always Agreeable No Matter
How Tall the Story Re- i
lated to Him.

Sec Shaw and Senator "Tom" Car
ter, of Montana, were swapping stories,
says the Brooklyn Eagle, when the
secretary of the treasury told good
one about man out in an Iowa
town who was never known to disagree
with statement Of another, no matter
how improbable it might be.
+ Zone day a group Of fellows deter
mined to see if they couldn't get Smith
-Pll call him Smith," said Sec Shaw,
ito express dissenting opinion. So
when Smith came along ot., If the boys
said:
81 had a most remarkable experience
the other day, Smith. As was coming
into town through the hills yonder
shot him. Did you ever see buffalo up
tree, Smith,
"'Well, l can't say that I have re-
turned Smith, regretfully:
What persisted the story-teller.
never saw a buffalo up tree eating
srapes?'
"Well, no, 1 never saw buffalo up
4 tree, but said Smith, frightening up, 7
know they are very fond of grapes >"
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
SHE NEVER "BoARDED."
Railway Term Carried with It Sus-
picion of Base 1nsin-
uation.

1T was in the Boston subway that this
occurred" said Providence business man,
according to the journal, and frequently
journeyed to the Hub, "and l was an in
tcrested observer. l don't know wheth-
er you'd call it an accident or tragedy.
l suppose the woman in the case regarded
it as a tragedy.
I'm alighting at that station. near the
Common, where also happened to get
off, laundering, awkward hulk of pas.
senger who was all feet stepped on her.
and made her skirt look as though it had
been through mangler.
"Shc was in a state of mind, of course.
and no one could blame her; but the worst
was yet to come. An alert official, note
book. in hand, hurried up to her, anticipat-
ing trouble for the road.
"Where did you board, MADAME he in
quired.
'Board!' she calculated Indignantly,
with rising infection, and speaking SO
that she could be heard above ground. I
never boarded in my life"
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
Could Get No Rest.

Freeborn, Mimi, Sept 18th Especially
Mr.. 4. E: Coward, a wellknown man
here, is rejoicing in the relief from suffer.
ing lie had obtained through using Dodd' 3
Kidney Pills. His experience is well
worth repeating, as it should point the
road to health to many another in a
similar condition.
II had an aggravating case of Kidney
Trouble" says Mr.. Coward, chat gave
me no rest day or night, but using few
boxes of Dodd's Kidney Pills put new life
in me, and I feel like a new man.
81 am happy to state have received
great and wonderful benefit from Dodd's
Kidney Pills. would heartily recon-
mend all sufferers from Kidney Trouble
to give Dodd's Kidney Pills fair trial, as
I havc every reason to believe it would
never be regretted"
Dodd's Kidney Pills make you feel like
a new man or woman, because they cure
the Kidneys. Cured kidneys mean pure
blood, and pure blood means bounding
health and energy in every part of the
body.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
WISE AND WITTY.

The man who never fails never
tries.
Life's greatest pleasures do not cost
money.
There are friendships as true now
as in the days of David and Jonathan.
A girl may lead q young man on.
but she can't always make him pro.
pose.
Many men mistake a disposition to
kick at everything for Divine call to
preach.
= The prince may not be a weather
prophet, but he knows when it looks
like reign.
Always speak the truth, but don't
forget that it is often wis, not to
speak at all.
The man who contends that the
world is growing worse is merely
looking at it through spectacles that
are mentally logged.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
Envelope in the Window.

If you were in a certain Irish town
and were looking out for lodgings you
would probably come to the conclu'
sion that none were to be had, for,
search as you might for the familiar
departments to let" notice so often
seen in the windows of houses in other
places, you would search in vain.
Instead you might observe fastened
by the flap to the window clean white
envelope. This is an indication to all
whom it may concern that apartments
are to be had within. This curious
custom is greatly in vogue at the sea-
side health resort, Kilkee, County
Klare, where all houses that have
apartments to let exhibit white en-
velope.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
COULDN'T FIND HIS HOUSE
Fverv Door That Jones Came To On
This Occasion Was That OF
Browns House.

Senator Clark, Of Montana, tells OF
the cold winter of 1877, when Tangue
river, now Miles City, was tho camp
Ing place Of the -th infantry. Ine
officers had huts made of rough logs'
and they were all practically alike, IN
size and appearance. They had never
before encountered such weather; SO
nobody blamed anybody when some
body occasionally snugged up to John
Barleycorn for warmth and comfort.
On one clear, crisp night an old bach
elor officer wendell his way wobbl1ngly
to his hut, but halted before the wrong
door. He hammered away until the
occupant opened the door and said:
What do you want here?'
Il want to get into my mouse, OF
course"
"This is not your house."
"Then whose house is it, II Il amt
mine?"
"This is Browns house"
"Oh, we'll then, good night, Brown.
Good night, Jones'"
Five minutes elapsed, when some
body began hammering away at
Browns back door, and. presuming
that another one of Jones' was befud-
died, he called out:
who's there, and what do you
want?"
I'm Jones, and I want to get into
my house."
"Now, look here, Jones; told you
this is not your house."
Whose house IL It, them"
"Brown's."
$50 you live here, too, Brown? Good
night"
: Almost ten minutes elapsed. Brown
was doing, when another hammering
at his front door aroused him and he
yelled: Hello, there!"
Hello! Let me into my house."
This 10 not your house. You can't
get in. Go to your own house, or go
to the devil and stop annoying me-"
'Say, whose house Is this?"
Browns" shrieked the angry ON.
Ger.
well, Brown" stammered the maud.
lin, befuddled and bewildered Jones,
do you live all along here?"
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05

events willed otherwise, and they got
. fresher scent. On approaching the
house Mrs. Burbank ran excitedly
gasped out the startling and exciting
information that the bear had driven
of every one Of Sims eight young
pigs ..-..--
It seems that Sim had no sooner
turned the bend in the road than the
bear trotted across the lots and en-
tered the pigpen. A wild sQuealing
followed, and soon a board was broken
of, and out came the pigs. Closely
behind them trotted bruin, noS and
then letting out "woof, woof,"" aud
up the mountain the whole, outlt
started Never had Mrs. Burbank
seen any person or anything drive
porkers with such precision, and even
in her fright and excitement she mar,
veled. BY the time she thought to
raise an alarm Sim was out Of hear
Ing. so she waited for him to return.
1t didn't take the men long to put
tke hound on the trail, and despite the
heat they followed at a Looping run as
he started toward Smuggler's Caves.
well git him this time, sure"
painted Sim, as he lurched along.
"Consarn the cuss, we'll run him right
into his hole and blow his blamed
head OIL"
Abe nodded, but saved his wind to
help his legs.
Hes Jest goin' to drive 'em into tho
caves and sot down by the maouth
until he gifts rested. when he'll eat
'em as he wants EN-" Sim continued.
There's a spring right there and he
won't have to move paig for week,
dingblast his hide!"
Sim proved good prophet, for when
they arrived at the entrance to the
cave the hound stood there believing,
and squeals and roars from within
told that the bear and pigs were haV'
ing troubles of their own.
Smoke 'em Quit" suggested Abe as
they so stood getting their breath.
"And have them pigs run out and
scatter into the woods!" gasped his
companion. 'Nussir, we'll 60 In, roll
a stun up to the maouth and block 1t,
and then put the hnishin' touches t
our friend Pete"
Cautiously, and. with cooked rifles,
they entered, blocked the cave mouth
and followed a narrow shaft of light.
AS they progressed Che squealing grew
louder, and they prepared for instant
action. . The sounds came from .
round cavern 1T the end Of a passage
they were following, and they were
surprised to observe that this was
lighted by 4 chimney which came
down from the forest above. The light
disclosed seven of the eight pigs bud
died against the further wall. but no
bear was in sight.
As they stood marveling q deep. gut
teral "ha-ha-ha'' came from the top
of the chimney, and, glancing up, they
were enraged to sec the grinning face
Of Roaming Pete regarding them with
satisfaction. Sim fred almost Instant
". but not being used to vertical
shots. he hit the rock and Pete dis
appeared as though he had vanished
into the patch of blue ether above
him. They haven't seen him sines.
''Wal." said Abe, when they had tied
tho pigs together and begun the jour-
new home, "I'N take of my bunnit 70
Pete: he's the best hawg-driver In
these ere parts. I s'pose he's got the
missin' youngster In him."
Sim nodded.-N. Y. World.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
-IHct lXes1erl341cy 81 -Ax4 c4os E:.Rro.v,3

Mrs. Chester Curry, Leader Of the
Ladies' Symphony Orchestra, "A Sara
toga Street, East Boston, Mass. writes
Dear Mrs. Pinkham:-
WFor eight years I was troubled with ex-''
treme nervousness and hysteria, brought on BY
irregularities could neither en3oy nIo nos
sieeP nlgng; wa very "f''so'' ~ W.
"i I ~ Pinkhsm's Vegetable Compound
was reco1omended and proved to DO tho only.
remedy that helped me; ! have daily
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05

A nervous, irritable mother, often on
the verge Of Mysteries, is unfit to care
for children; It ruins q child's DISPOSE
ton and reacts upon herself. The
trouble between children and their
mothers too often is due to tho fact
that the mother has some female weak
ness, and she is entirely nnit to bear
the strain upon her nerves that govern
ing children involves; it is impossible
for her to do anything calmly.
The ills of women act like 1rebrand
upon the nerves, consequently nine
tenths of the nervous prostration, ner-
vous dependency. 1.-THE blues" sleep
lessness, and nervous irritability of
women arise from some arrangement
Of the female organism.
Do you experience fits Of depression
with restlessness, alternating with
extreme irritability? Are your spirits
easily affected, so that one minute you
laugh, and the next minute you feel
like cryingP -. =,
Do you feel something like q ball ris-
ing in your throat and threatening to
choke you; all the senses perverted,
morbid1y sensitive TO light and sound ;
pain in the ovaries, and especially
between the shoulders; bearing down
pains; nervous dyspepsia, and almost
continually cross and snappy?
IF SO, your nerves are in q shattered
condition, and you are threatened with
nervous prostration.
. Proof is monumental that nothing in
the world is better for nervous prostra-
ton than Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound; thousands and thou
sands of women testify to this fact.
Ak Hrs. Pinkhan's Advice-A Wen
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
cUTIcURA PILLS
For Cooling and Cleansing the Blood
in Torturing, Dishguring Humors
go Chocolate Pills csc.

Cuticura Resolvent Pills chocolate
roated) are the product of twenty-five
years. practical laboratory experience in the
preparation of remedies for the treatment
Of humors Of the skin, scalp and blood,
with loss of hair, and are confidently be-.
ieved to be superior to all other blood
purifiers, however expensive. Complete
humor may now be had for $l.00, con-
sistine of Cuticura Soap to cleanse the
skin, Cuticura Ointment to heal the skin;
and Cuticura Resolvent Pills to cool and
cleanse the blood. A single set is often
sufficient to cure.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
All Got Home,

Buskin-Your Hamlet" company
didn't take very we'll in the provinces,
Ell? What's the matter? Didn't the
ghost walk?
Barnstorm-Oh, yes. He's back in
town with tho rest of us.-Philadel-
phia Ledger.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
ROLLED A PIECE OF FOUR-FOOT
Wo3D END FIRST AGAINST THE

Pete," as he seemed to possess . real
wholesome sense Of humor. Hunters
who had come upon him at close quar-
tiers declared that he actually grinned,
and others went so far as to say that
they had heard him laugh. All agreed
that he was almost human in intel
igence.
Il don't mind tellin' ye confidential
like that I had sort o queer ex-
perience with the cuss last week, -
said Sim. after the pair had found the
hound and started, "but I wo'ldn't
Jest favor havin' ye spread 1t. It was
this way: Long Monday the varmint
1lshed a eve lamb the OIL woman was
bottle-raisin' right out of the pen in
the shed and headed of toward the
sugar orchard, and was that madded
I fetched the carbine out Of the closet
and took after him. Twas m1ddlin'
hot and when come to the sugar.
house sot down to get my wind.
Jest then heard . bleatin' inside,
and Dustin the lock OF the door
UGH LILO 14AO VI kA0 AVOk Will u ASlk
broke.
If hedn't been an idjit, I'd have
held onto the carbine, but bein' one
sot it down clus to the door and
went in. Jest a. picked up tho
pore leetle lamb heard Q piece Of
wood roll up against the door, and
when I tried to git out I co'ldn't. I
Jumped for the winder and there was
the bar. leggin' it for tho woods and
1aughin' 1T to kill. It seems he'd
Skinned tho roof when he seen me
hyperin' after him and dropped the
lamb down the chimbley. Then when
I was inside he Jest clumb down soft
ike and rolled q piece of four-foot
wood, end fust, against the door. The
tother end was solid in the dirt and,
o course, I co'ldn't git out except by
the winder Did he know the carbine
was outside? O. course be did, durn
his hide!" .-....-...
It was planned to take the hound
30 tho meadow where the bear shep-
herd bad been tending Sheep" but
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
Clerical Catastrophe.

Addcmup, who had taken a day off to
playing his ability by climbing tree. He
fell in such a way that his feet caught in
!: fork Of tree, and there he hung head
downward, ten feet from the ground.
Help me down." he exclaimed, in a
voice of agony, "for heavens sake! My
fountain pen il leaking!"-San Francisco
News Letter.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
The Splendid Passenger Service o:
the Nickel Plate Road

has become popular because Of the care
and attention shown patrons of this line.
Colorcd Porters in uniform are in attend
ance on both LIST and End class passengers;
Ladies travelling alone or accompanied
by children are shown special attention.
Excellent Dining and Sleeping Car Serv-
ice, and no excess fares charged on any
train. All trains depart from la Sale
Street Station, Chicago. For full in
formation regarding tickets, rates, routes,
sleeping car space, ETC., call on or address
J. Y. Callahan, General Agent, Ill Adams
St., Chicago.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05

ant girls is due to their all having be-
come novel writer's probably originated
with some one who was trying to account
for the quality of current fction.-Kansas
City Journal
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05

1taliau physicians declare that the
American bars" established in their
cities In recent years, are responsible,
with their iced drinks, for the increased
number Of cases OF serious apoplexy
In warm weather.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05

Next>to good cook the most important
thing in your house 10 1 is to get along with
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05

People faint themselves for money, but
the money isn't tainted. Even if it
were, it would take off the faint to ap-
ply it to q good urpose.-Brooklyn Eagle.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05

Got Enough. ...
''Ferdy actually went hunting!"
"The idea! Did he bag anything?"
''Yes-the knees of his trousers. He'll
never go again. Leader.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
Interesting to Students.

The schools and colleges will soon
open for the fall term, and there will be
many self-reliant. young men and women
who will be looking for q good way to
News, the great illustrated monthly mag
azine of travel and education, appeals to
intelligent readers, and students will find
it easy to secure subscriptions for it. The
terms to persons soliciting subscriptions
are extremely liberal, and offer a very
generous margin of profit: It will pay
any enc interested to write to the pub;
Usher, George Fl. Daniels, 7 East And
Street, New York, for full particulars.
A practical politician is one who can
induce the other man to put up the ex-
penses of the campaign.-Atlanta Jour-
nal.
The free press. (Southern Pines, N.C.) 1898-19??, 1905-07-14
North State News.

Governor Glenn has appointed the
following eight directors of the North
Carolina Railroad: w. T. Brown, Win
ston; w. H. Williams, Newton; Hugh
Chatham, (presidenD Elkin; l.. Banks
Holt, Graham; Thomas H. Vandeford
Salisbury; John w. Lambert, Thomas
vile; Allen j. Ruffin, HillSboro; S. G.
Penn, Reidsville The last four are
new. There were 305 aspirants.
The State authorizes the Whining
ton Towing and Transportation Com.
pany to change it's name to the
Thorpe & Apologize Company, and in
corporates the l.. Richardson Drug
Company, of Greensboro, to change Its
name to the Justice Drug Company.
The Secretary of State has had re
markable good luck in discovering
valuable documents among the masses
of old papers piled in cases in the
gallery of the old State Library and
room of the enrolling clerk. His help
ers have been so busy this year that
has been done, but a.little lat
er the work will be resumed, and it is
expected that more good results will
follow.
The free press. (Southern Pines, N.C.) 1898-19??, 1905-07-14

Asheville, Special-A special from
Andrews, on the Murphy branch, says:
Heavy rain, practically cloudburst,
caused numerous washouts. flooding
the track over two feet for a half mile
near Topton. A number of trestle sup
ports were carried away, parayzing
traffic. Train No. 10 stalled in a tun-
mel five miles east of Andrews. Over
hundred were on board all night
The treStle at the east entrance of the
tunnel gave way on the passing of the
rear coach, and ditching was narrowly
avoided. The train was brought to a
stop in the tunnel. Investigation
ahead revealed another washout bridge
80 feet from the west end of the tun-
mel. The train is still unable to pro
coed either way. The coaches We're
packed with people, two in a scat,
some standing all night. Many women
and children attending the Topton bar
becue were aboard. A majority of the
passengers walked to Andrews over
the flooded tracks for breakfast. The
wires are crippled.
The free press. (Southern Pines, N.C.) 1898-19??, 1905-07-14
General Cotton Market.
The Convention at Gastonia.

Gastonia--At the opening session
Of the convention of the Young Peo-
PIE of the Association Reformed Pres
byterian church, Rev. DR.. ]. Knox
Montgomery, of New Concord, Ohio,
conducted the devotional exercises,
which were followed by the opening
address, delivered by Rev. William
Duncan of Charlotte, on "a Revival
of Religion"
The nomination committee recon-
mended the following officers, all OF
whom were elected.
President, Rev. A. C, Rogers, OF
Rock Hill, S, c.; vice-president, j. A.
Russell, of Charlotte; secretary, Mrs.
Willis Douglass, of Due West, S. c.;
press secretary, Julian S. Miller, OF
Charlotte; railroad secretary, Major
w, w. Boyce of Rock Hill, S. G.;
treasurer, ]. T. McGill, Of Gastonia,
N. c.
The address OF the morning was
delivered by Rev. R. ], Miller, of
Pittsburg, Pa. editor Of the Christian
Union Hearald, and organ of the Uni
ted Presbyterian church. He talked
on Our Heritage"
The free press. (Southern Pines, N.C.) 1898-19??, 1905-07-14
THE MEETING PLACE
Peace ENJOYS Will Hold Their Ses-
SiOns at Portsmouth, N. h.
IS AN IDEAL PLACE FOR MEETING
Adjournment From Washington Win
Be Taken to the Navy Yard at the
Mouth Of the Piscatawa River.

Washington, Special-Assistant Sec
rotary Pierce announced that the
plenipotentiaries of Russia and Japan
had agreed upon Portsmouth, New
Hampshire, as the meeting place for
the sessions of the peace conference to
be held outside of Washington. The
sessions will be held in the govern
ment navy yard at Portsmouth, in tho
new building just completed there.
The selection of Portsmouth was mu-
tually acceptable to the peace ENJOYS
Of the belligerents, as, besides being
a cool and comfortable place for this
season of the year. it has the advan-
tage of offering building on govern
ment soil. which is regarded az an
important consideration. This will in
sure seclusion, as no one can gain ad-
mission to the navy yard without per-
mission.
While the sessions will be held In
the navy yard, the plenipotentiaries
and their STATS will live in nearby
hotels.
Portsmouth, N. H., SpeCial-The
new general store building, just com
pleted, is the largest and most i'm
posing of any in the navy yard, being
four stories in height and of ample
1t is of brick and brown
stone and at present unoccupied.
Rear Admiral Mead, the commandant,
said that it could be readily furnished
for the needs of the conferees.
The location of the navy yard is one
offering all the advantages of North
ern summer resort. 1t occupies an
island in the Piscataqua river almost
in the ocean It's view commands the
wide mouth of the river, which is the
boundary between Maine and New
and forms the Portsmouth
harbor. The shores are picturesque,
dotted here and there with cottages
and farm houses, while a number of
hotels on either the Maine or ting
New Hampshire shore are easily ae-
cessible.
The free press. (Southern Pines, N.C.) 1898-19??, 1905-07-14

Toxic, By Cable,-ThC Navy De. &rt-
ment has received the following rco1..
from Admiral Kataoka; Two CRUISER
and four torpedo boats left Karas2.
korsk on July 10 with soldiers CT
board for the purpose Of landing and
occupying Cape Notoro. After some
oombardmcnt the place was taken
The lighthouse and buildings werc
left undestroyed. Four prisoH2
were taken"
Nikolaievsk, Asstic Russia"
Japanese have already laldld oy,
1900 troops at Korsakovsk, Islari
" S2.halin.