davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-10-30
TURN ABOUT.

YOU think it is right for you to make up
49, jokes about Mr.. Perkins and Mr. Mccall and Mr.
Morgan simply because you make few dollars by
doing sog''
Certainly wrote to all three of those gentlemen
yesterday telling them that if they could make any money
by writing sarcastic jokes about they at perfect
liberty to go ahead.p
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-10-30
What the Market Affords

FLORIDA pineapples, 70 cents each.
l Catawba grapes, % cents basket.
Wax beans, 20 cents pound.
Cornmeal, 20 cents a ten-pound sack.
Hulled corn, 10 cents quart. e
Creamery butter, % cents pound.
Fresh eggs, rs cents dozen. "
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-10-30
ORIGINALITY.

THE late General Isaac j. Wistar Of Philadelphia was
after his family that the wstaria vine named-had
multitude Of anecdotes that he could draw when he
desired to point to illuminate an idea.
General Wistar for number Of years president
OF the Academy of Natural Sciences At
OF the academys meetings rather original method Of reach
ing the north pole suggested OF this method the pres
dent said, smiling: H..
Doubtless in that way the pole might be achieved but
Whataan original way of getting there it would be-
It reminds Of the two San Francisco friends Of
mine once took to get rid Of guests >..9
"These guests to spend the evening" and didn know
when to DEPART My friends patient with them very
patient but when H. IL and finally O'Clock struck the
husband realized that something must now be done.
He original chap, and, in his original way he
looked over at his wife and said mildly
MY DEAR hadn't we better get up to bed9 Our friends
may want to be going'' .*s.. ..
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-10-30
BOY SPOILED IT ALL.

w CARYL ELY of Buffalo, the president of the Ameri-
w. can Street Railway association, talking during
the convention in Philadelphia about moormen and
ductors adventures.
"A conductor to with smiling face the other
day. he said He wanted to tell me what had happened
incoming car.
1t seems that a mddle-aged little son,
aad of6 or years. got the car and as soon as they
were seated the took hafdoar her pocket
and handed it to the youngster pay the fare with
The boy held the coin in his small fat hand and ex-
amined it closely and solemnly. @./
The conductor appeared younpster
gave, him the half-dolar with owsh solemnity.
'The money pocketed and 40 cents in change was
put in the small, extended hand. -
soon he got this change, the boy laughed, wr-
gled iii his seat and shouted gleefully
'Oh ma, he's taken the bad half-dolar'"
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-10-30
AMATEUR THEATRICALs.

THE stranger paused before the hall and smiled The
great shrieks and of laughter that from
within were contagious.
The billboard announced amateur performance. He
approached the box office and said:
.They to be enjoying themselves in there heard
their shouts and outlaws three blocks away
ssYes' said the attendant Yes That's right
.sWhat are they playing ~ asked the stranger.
ssHamlet.' =
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-10-30
YES. WHY NoT2

MRS FREDERICK SCHOFF president of the National
V Mothers congress- said, her return from Utah:
III in Salt Lake City delightful child Of five years
named Jane
Jane out driving with her father afternoon and
her father hurry the horse on sashed the whip thru the
air, making humming sound This sound had good eff
feet The horse quickened its pace.
Papa said Jane, why don't you whip us children
] that way?' !"
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-10-30
FAR WESTERN JOURNALISM.

CIT SOUNDS like yarn " said Chicago antquary tbut
l here is the proof Look at it for yourself
He opened his scrapbook to clipping yellow with age
I clipping from newspaper Of Tombstone and it
said
1Wx hopx that rxads will pardon thx appearance
Of this wxxks ntxgxncxr and thx sxzmngy mysterious
absxncx Of cxrtain lxttxr.
Sam Bilbxr into oicx yesterday, and statxd
that hx going shooting and had ammunition hx
would Xxx to borrow Of ypx for shot, Bxforx
could prxvxnt it hx had grabbed all hx xttxrs Of hx
most important box and DISAPPEARED.
Our rxadxrs hxlp rxplxnshing our stock if all
hosx who shot by Sam will thx chargx whxn
picked out Of thxm, and rxtu1n it to u.s. =
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-10-30

would be- Half the dose wastedand look at clothes
Gretchen the maid Of all work, who recent I'M
poraton from the fatherand nerered at this uncture
Tabby routed out from her hiding place,
while Gretchen wandered to the cehes She reappeared
with lard, which she mixed with portion Of the
powder This she rubbed the ca where Tabby could
veneny reach it. Tabby surprised. She was proud
of her thick snowwhe coat the Hobbs family and
she did not purpose have it soied She promptly licked
off the lard Gretchen applied another dose in another place
Tabby licked that off, too. Pretty all the medicine
inside of Tabby s tummy.
"Grechen, said Hobbs chow did the kaiser
to lose you? Take whole day off instead of Thursday
after 2'-Phadepha Ledger. r..
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-10-30
THE ULTERIoR MOTIVE.

AMES j, HILL addressing multitude of Minnesota
- farmers at the Fillmore county fair.
Don't take with notion you hear about"
he said he ideas of governmental ownership Of the rail-
roads and municipal ownership of the trolley lines
good ideas simply because they
81" such IDEAS matter Of fact, there often Turk COW
er and selfish schemes for their promuators advancement
Often municipal ownership of industry will benefit
the community much it will benefit the propos-
ing it, .... 2s@. ~.
1T is Of ideas adoption for hidden end
1t like the Of the small business who dic-
taed at the bottom Of all his letters
You in very small way Of business said friend
'You have stenographer You write all your own let
ters Why then, this dictated' at the bottom on each?
The fact is said the small BUSINESS man, I'm very
poor speler In of Mistakes the dictated let's me
out - s.-@.-s... .'..
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-10-30

The confab ended
in the capture of Tab
by, who, seeming mis-
chief, had disappeared
under the bed. Hobbs
held the cat, one of the
children forced its
mouth open and Mrs.
Hobbs made a jab with
! a spoonful of powder.
There was a struggle,
after which Tabby dis
appeared with a con-
siderable quantity of
Hobbs ,cuticle. The
contents of the spoon
were distributed over
his trousers.
"There!" exclaimed
Hobbs, who is a base
ball enthusiast, looking
ruefully at his blood
stained hands, you
m &, ., -,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-10-30

"The doctor says we're to give Tabby this all at one
dose,' he said.
"Dd he how we were to give 1t to her9 asked MIS-
Hobbs.
.sWhy, no. replied Hobbs fretfuly IT did not ask
him such absurd question that AS it would be difficult
to give powder hypodermcaly will have to go
down her throat he added with fine sarcasm.
every wel retorted Mrs Hobbs; "yoU hold the cat
and I'll force the powder down her throat"
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-10-30
ROLLING STONES.

TIGHT shoes cause badness.
The Japs carry money in their ears.
The best glass eyes cost $50 apiece.
A strong kangaroo can leap sixty feet.
The average life Of ship is twenty-six years.
A chow, or Chinese edible dog, costs $75.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-10-30
Story Of Hobbs's Cat

0METHING was seriously wrong with the
Hobbs family cat; something that catniP and
other common remedies known to Mrs. Hobbs
could not reach Tabby was the idol OF the
children and the pet of the household. AT the
solicitation of his, wife and children Hobbs
consented to stop on his way downtown at
cat hospital and seek advice. He came home
. - y dor
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-07-05

Why all this pother about Engineer
Wallace's resignation? He had made
no time contract with the government.
and if experience convinced him that
he could better himself by going to New
York. he had the perfect right to do so.
Morgan did not hesitate when he saw
the opportunity of lettering himself.
There never lived man whose place
could not be filled. Wallace dissatis-
fled is better out than in. Another en-
gineer just as good. and who will be in
sympathy with the administration and
DESTROYS of immortalizing himself, can
be found who will gladly undertake the
job. An unwilling employe is a poor
stick at best. There is no call for the
president and Secretary Taft getting
into a pet.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-07-05

The following letter is only one of
many thousands which are on file in
the Pinkham office, and GO to prove
beyond question that Lydia +. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound must be a
remedy of great merit, otherwise it
could not produce such marvellous re-
suits among sick and ailing women.
Dear Mrs. Pinkham:-
About nine months ago / was n great suf-
ferer with womb trouble, which caused me
severe pain extreme nervousness and fire.
quent headaches, from which the doctor
failed to relieve me. tried Lydia f. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound, and within a
short time felt better, and after taking FIVE
bottles of il l was entirely cured therefore
heartily recommend Your Compound as n
splendid uterine tonic. Ii makes the monthly
periods regular and without pain {; and what
blessing it is to find such a remedy after 50
many doctors fail to help you. am pleased
to recommend it To all suffering women. -
Mrs. sara Wilson, 81 East Sd Street, Cincin-
natl, Ohio.
II you have suppressed or painful
menStruation, weakness of the stOm-
ach, Indigestion, bloating, leucorrhra.
flooding. nervous Prostration, dizzi-
ness, faintness, don t-carc" and
want to- be-left-alone feeling, ex-
citability, backache or the blues, these
are sure indications of female weak
ness, some arrangement of the uterus
or ovarian trouble. In such eases there
is one tried and true renedy-Lydia
z. PinkhaIn's Vegetable Compound.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-07-05
THE HOTELS.

At the Rock Island. European
James NJ. Harrington. Chicago; r. H
Hill, New York: y. Elliott, Galesburg
A. j. Frazier, Beardstown; F. A. LON.
baum. West Liberty; B. Bailey, Chica
go; c. Beverley and wife, Bergman
Mrs. Barlowe. Wyoming: George
Thorn. Peoria: w. e. DickiI and wife
Topeka, Kans.; Oscar J. Schroeder
Cambridge; II. G. Stephenson, Chica
go; Tom Valquette, Detroit; J. G.
Chapman, Chicago; John Nelson and
wife. Chicago; W. d. Reynolds. Ger
land, ILL.,; II. P. Wolf, Burlington; S
%. Tansill. Savannah, Mo, D. Liffler
Viola; G. w. Bean Viola; F. H. Bush
Chicago; l.. ". Cochran. Reynolds
James p. Thornton, Chicago; Pat NJ
Hill. New York; Harry J. Morton
Omaha; Nil Hurley. Galesburg; w
Wenks. Chicago; f. f. Low, Sterling
Henry Brand, indianapolis; c. o. Nor
dell, Filchburg, Mass.;C. J. Ericsson
Galesburg; f. J. Sanders. Ottumwa
John McGregor, Sherrard; Emery c.
GRAVES, Geneseo; f. A Parkins. PEG
ria; F. A. Johnson, Cambridge; Mr.
and Mrs. T.. CressweH, Keokuk: Mrs
Barlow. Wyoming; A. c. Campbell. St
Louis; II. TregO, Sherrard; q. A. Oak
berg, Sherrard Charles II. Ruddy
Rockford; F. B. Lowman. Toulon; +
w Thompson, TOulOn; y. A. Hoagg
Cambridge; c. B. Matson, Emerson
Neb r. NJ. L.atherp, Galesburg; V. Zall
Galesbnrg; F. ]. Smith, Chicago;
George Thorn, New York; NJ. +. Stem
gle, Chicago; S. p. Ball, Taylor Ridge
Leonard Richard. EdgingtoR; G. T
HalliR, Nekoaa. ILL.,; c. E. Larson, Ne
koma. ILL.,; II. w. Landlord, Winchest-
er; X. F. Wiley. Peoria; ID. Whipple,
Wallacks' Theatre Co.; w. II. Brown,
Grand Island Neb.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-07-05

public positions-tws with Massachu-
setrs, one with Connecticut and the
fourth with Ontario, Canada. A num-
Der of other requests from private
owners can not be met because men
are not available. The year before
there were less than half as many APP
pIications for trained men. But the
demand for trained specialists in this
line has only begun
Large lumber companies, great wood
manufacturing concerns, owners of ex-
tensiye forests, railroad companies and
others are taking hitherto unknown
practical interest in conservative for
estry. They must have expert men TO
control their holdings The result is
that forestry is very rapidly taking its
place as a recognized profession. A
number of forest schools are training
young men for this work. but the de
mand has outrun the supply.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-07-05
Unwise Commercial Move.

There is a chance that the announce
ment of an international rail pool is a
part of a fabrication, but If the state
ment should prove to he correct, the
American rail makers have done a very
foolish thing in seeking to apportion
the earth. and taking for their own ter
ritory the United States. Mexico Cen
trail and South America. They have, in
the first instance, put a club into the
hands of the men advocating reform or
abolition of the steel tariff, and in the
second place they have made the gov
eminent of the United States an unwill-
ing party tn an International trade ar
rangement that will stir up trouble.
Mexico is under no necessity of buying
rails from the United States for any
protracted period, and the other re-
publics will be no more inclined to be
AT the mercy of an American monopoly.
Their politicians will see and proclaim
an attempt on the part of Americans
to force their goods on them at their
own prices while declining To make
any reciprocal arrangements. If the
people of the United States have had
cause 10 complain of the exactions of
the steel trust. the people of these 9th
er countries will have much greater
cause. and whether there are or are
not exactions, the political effect will
be about the same. There will be an
agitation against American goods from
the Rio Grande To Cape Horn, and the
Chinese boycott will be of small import
in comparison.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-07-05
Trained Foresters In Demand.

The demand for foresters is increas.
ing rapidly, both for state work and
with private owners. Many states
now have forest commissions. and sew.
eral of them have state foresters A
trained forester at $1,000 a year and
two assistant fOresters at $1,000 each
are wanted by California. Wisconsin
wants an assistant forester at 81. 500.
Indiana u forester 10 take charge of its
state reserve, and Washington offers
81 500 year for a trained forester. In
many other states the advisability of
creating the Office of state forester has
been under discussion this year, and il
is only a matter of a few years when
such an Official will be considered a
regular part of an efficient state gov
eminent
The demand for foresters by private
timber owners Is growing at a still
more rapid rate. During the last IL
months seven of the bureau of forestry
force have left TO take up work with
such owners, and four have accepted
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-07-05
TOWING BIG OIL BARGE
First Attempt to Cross Atlantic in This
Manner.

First Attempt to Cross Atlantic in This
Manner.
New York. July 5.-The first attempt
TO tow an oil barge across the north
Atlantic is being made by the Standard
Oil company, which has dispatched its
big oil carrier, the Col. f. l.. Drake,
with a 4,000-ton steel barge in tow, to
London, with Captain Thomas Fenlon
in command. The captain has a long
experience in barge towing. With the
steamer Atlas he took an oil barge
from here TO San Francisco last win
ter. covering the distance of $4,000
miles in az days. Both the Col. Z. l..
Drake and the barge are equipped with
wireless telegraph apparatus. This
means of communication will be useful
in stormy weather, and especially in
case the siX-inch steel hawser con
Meeting the two vessels should part.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-07-05
Pope Prays for France.

Rome. July 5.-The vatican authori
ties have received numerous kilograms
from Paris concerning the vote in the
chamber of deputies approving the sep
aration of church and state. After
ward. in receiving Cardinal Taliani
his holiness said he was not surprised
AT the result which he had expected,
but he was sure that God would give
the church strength to overcome the
crisis
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-07-05

If the railroads are allowed to place
their representatives in the cabinet and
other responsible positions, they will
have chances to stir up trouble. The
Panama canal is not likely to be has
tened toward completion by any man
who remains under railroad influence.
The railroads are not supporting the
canal and are not likely to do So
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-07-05
NEWSPAPER MAN TO HANG
Decree of Missouri Supreme Court
Sends e. c. Baiiy to GaIIows.

Jefferson City, Mo-, July D. Edgar
G. Baily, formerly well known news
paper man of northeastern Iowa. must
hang to expatiate his crime. according
TO decree rendered by the Missouri
supreme court. A motion for rehear-
ing was refused. and very little hope is
now entertained by the attorneys of
the accused man. Baily was convicted
of killing a nOn-union hack driver dur
ing the strike in Kansas City a few
, years ago.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-07-05
c., M. g. St. p. Excursion Rates.

Home seekers tickets on sale every
Tuesday in each month to Nov. l. 1905.
To points in Iewa. Minnesota. North
and South Dakota. And every first
and third Tuesday in each month to
other homeseekers' territory For fur
.ther information phone or call at any
C., NJ & st. p. ticket office.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-07-05

1t may be necessary in some of the
larger cities, where the enrolment of
grafters would justify the experiment,
To divide them into classes and indict
the seniors each year.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-07-05

TERMS Daily, 10 cents per week.
Weekly, 81 per year in advance.
All communications OF argumentative
character. political or religious, must
have real name attached for publica-
ton. No such articles VIII be printed
over fictitious signatures.
Correspondence solicited from every
township in Rock Island county.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-07-05
RAILWAY TIPS.

The c.. NJ. & st. p. offer first class
train service to Chicago and Kansas
City. from the tri-cities, sleeping car res
ervations made to any point desired.
for further information phone any of
their offices.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-07-05

Referring to the tainted money which
has been rendered to the universities,
fear may be expressed that it may give
the Institutions a yellow streak.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-07-05
C.. M. & St. p. Summer Tourist Rates

The c, NJ. & St. P. railway viii sell
round trip summer tourist tickets
daily, cqmmencing May Is. to Sept. so,
1905. to various summer resorts in
Wisconsin. Final return limit, Oct. 81,
1905
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-07-05
ITS MERIT IS PROVED
a Prominent Cincinnati Woman Tells
How Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound Completely Cured Her.

The great good Lydia F. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound is doing among
the women of America is attracting
the attention of many of our leading
scientists, and thinking people gener-
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-07-05

Physical culture is suggested as a
means of developing the mind. The
habit of thinking is also very bene.
fetal.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-07-05

Guess the Filipinos will hurry around
10 give bonds To be good after they
see that excursion party.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-07-05
Wednesday, July 5, 1905.

Possibly Taft took the lid with him
and will use it as a steamer chair.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-07-05

Foreign reports estimate that about
10000 Americans will visit London
this season. Nice picking
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-07-05
THE ARGUS.

Published Daily and Weekly as 1924
Second avenue, Rock Island, Ill ZEN
tered at the postofice N secona-class
nRtter.l
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-07-05
Hurrican in Samoa.

Sydney. July 5.-News has reached
here Of great damage caused in Samoa
by hurricane.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-07-05

SUITABLE FOR OUTING OR HOME
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-24
ADMIRAL CHAFFS KAISER
British officer Has Fun With Ger
many's War Lord
sneeial cable 70 INC Herald.

Special Cable to The Herald
PARIS, April 2S.-An amusing story
with international complications comes
from Corfu. 1t appears that several
midshipmen from the British flagship
Bulwark, returning to Corfu from the
Achilleon palace, found that the ferry
could not carry them, so all three
stripped and swan across forgetful of
the fact that there is a convent on the
island
The complaints that were made
came to the ears of the German em-
peror, who signaled TO Admiral Dom
vile: II hear that your midshipmen
have been shocking the good nuns by
their costumes"
Admiral Domvile signaled back: Il
have heard the circumstances your
majecty mentions. but you are misin-
formed in one particular. The young
gentlemen had no costumes"
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-24

Unless early and correct treatment Is
applied the patient seldom survives
when once the disease is fastened upon
her. Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound is the most efficient treat
ment for kidney troubles of women,
and is the only medicine especially
prepared for this purpose.
When a woman is troubled with pain
or weight in loins, backache, frequent,
painful or scalding urination, swelling
of limbs or feet, swelling under the
eyes, an uneasy, tired feeling in the
region of the kidneys or notices brick
dust sediment in the urine, she should
lose no time in commencing treatment
with Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound, as it may be the means OF
saving her life.
For proof, read what Lydia e. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound did for Mrs.
Sawyer.
az cannot express the terrible suffering
had to endure A arrangement OF the female
organs developed nervous prostration and
serious kidney trouble. The doctor attended
me for a year, but kept getting worse, until
/ was unable to do anything, and made up
nv mind could not live. finally decided
to try Lydia E. Pinkbams Vegetable Com.
pound as a last resort, and am to-day well
woman. / cannot praise it too highly, and
tell every suffering woman about my case"
Mrs Emma Sawyer, Conyers, ga.
Mrs. Pinkham gives free advice to
women address in confidence, Lynn,
Mass.