The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1905-09-23

nB beyond their incomeY Worse !
than that, They're living beyond their
credit. =" Brooklyn Life.
Jack lin a museum) This collection
OF stuffed animals is said to be valued
at thousands Of dollars. Flo--Is il
possible2 What are they stuffed
with ?'-New Yorker.
Deacon Jones--In the better land
everything win be made known. Mrs,
Prye-Won't that be fnel rye always
wondered how old Sarah Wilson was.
Boston Transcript.
THE automobile has not accomplish
ed much in actual business said the
unitarian. "Oh, yes, it has. 1t has
helped accident insurance a great
deal."-Washington Star.
"This meat" protested the boarder.
"is overdone." "Not exactly, it amt"
replied the waitress; sits done over.
This is the same meat you had yes
terday."-Philadelphia Press.
Elatbroke-rm sorry can't pay
tnae Dill now-you'll have to wait
awhile. And I'd like suit this spring,
too. Tailor-You'll get it. I'm going
to start one tO-morrow.-Clevelan
Leader.
Tired Mother Ito restless child
NOW you set still. I've drug you ten
miles to enjoy this entertainment and
you shall enjoy it If have to pull
every hair out Of your headL-Kansas
City Independent
"You can always tell an English
man." began the Britisher, boastfully.
But 1t would only be a waste of
BREATH" interrupted the Yankee, "ba-
cause he thinks he knows it all."-
Philadelphia Ledger.
Bessie, haw many sisters has your
new playmate "She has one. nam.
ma. She tried to fool me by saying
she had two half-sisters; but 1 guess
she didn't know that 1 studied frac-
tons. "-Washington Life.
Typewriter Agent-Pardon me, sir,
but may I ask what is the style Of
your typewriter Merchant (enthusi-
asdcally)-Right up to date. Elbow
sleeves, lace insertion shirt-waist, and
all that sort of thing.-New York
Weekly.
"What kind Of looking man Is that
chap Gabbleton you just mentioned2 I
don't believe have met him." "Well,
If you see two men off in a corner any
where and one Of them looks bored to
death, the other one Is Gabbleton."
Puck.
"What conclusion did your literary
and debating society reach last night ~
"Oh," answered Miss Cayenne, "the
conclusion was as usual--chicken
salad, ice cream, and Goodnight; had
a perfectly lovely time washing
ton Star.
Mr.. Dresser-Didn't that new nurse
come that l engaged for little Clar-
ence7 Mrs. Dresser-Oh, yes, but she
wouldn't do! She had nothing but blue
dresses to wear, and blue you know is
only for girl babies. Pink's for boys.
philadelphia Press.
care you going to Europe this sum-
mer" II don't know" answered Mrs.
Cumrox; going to Europe isn't what
It used to be, you know. When a man
travels now a lot Of people turn up
their noses and wonder whether q
grand jury is after him" Washing
ton Star.
Wee Hostess-Mamma, shall invite
Lucy Littnay to my party? Mamma
Certainly. She is the minister daugh
ter. do ministers daughters get in.
vited everywhere" Always" "They
has lots of fun, s'pose2 1 wish my
: papa was a minister stead of a mlser
, able sinner"
; Mrs. Highhorse-Of course, I an
particular about the family my sor
} marries into. Is there any faint In
your blood, such as lunacy, for In
stance. Mr.. Newrox-No, madam, anC
there's not going to be either! I tolt
my daughter If she married your sor
I'd cut her off without a cent.-De
: troit Free Press.
Mrs. NUDGE do admire the womer
you draw, Mr.. Penink. They are 81
EDSd III anu 81 IChhGds Gil A1Sy w IN
Is your model? MRS. Nudge rises II
Mrs. Penink's opinion.l Penink-Oh
my wife always sits for me. Mrs
. Nudge with great surprise)-YoI
don't say so! Well, think you're on'
of the cleverest men l knowl MRS
Penink's opinion Of Mrs. Nudge fall
, below zero Punch.
"My DEAR" said a patient wife WHIT
had been studying the war news, II
=. were to marry again would MARI.
Russian" whats the trouble
now? inquired the husband tremulous
= ly. "When you came home last nigh
> you left your hat and umbrella on tn
I dining room table, your collar ant
necktie were under the chair and you
watch this morning is run down. /
= Russian can at least retire in good OF
! derV'
Mrs. B.-I suppose you ind you
daughter very much improved by he
n two years stay at college? Mrs
: Proudmother-La, yesl Mary Eliza
:. hath Ia n carniyorous reader now. an