St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1905-12-22

Speaking of Christmas-all the
children.
Many a pair of half hose is mere
pair of half holes before the week
is over.
Many a woman calls herself
"even tempered merely because
She mad all the time.
When a fellow swears off out
loud he generally swears OH again
in a very low whisper
The man who swears off swear
ing Oh January is about the only
fellow that has a cinch on the
whole game.
Show me the ordinary man who
takes a "cold plunge" every morn
ing before breakfast and I'll show
you an extraordinary liar.
Merely because otis spells "us'
and rye spells ri" and q-u-e-u-e
spells ecu" is no reason why que
u-e-r-y-e-o-u.s should spell cur
ious," is itl
II makes no difference in which
hand a woman is carrying her bun
die nine out OF every ten gets oil a
street car backwards. Notice II
and count them.
Since car 40 came from the
paint-shop IL resembles a big yaller
coon having red waist and black
stockings-wcaring spectacles. II
is quite an Improvement.
The man who accepts 81 for his
vote is too low, too grasping, too
mercenary, too unmanly, to have
the right of franchise. It's worth
So. so If it's worth a cent
California has sprung a new one
in place of the "peach-crop-killed-
by-frost" story. Her oranges are
now blown from trees. This will
help raise the price for Christmas.
"Tabacco Factory Owned by
Women blown up in Kentucky"
Well, who cares whether the
woman was blown up in Kentucky
or Central Asia' What about the
factory, any wayl
Rev. ]. W. Brougher says that
old maids here will be angels in
heaven. I'd like to ask Mr..
Broughcr IL he ever found line In
the bible that mentioned a "she"
angel' II so, where
The greatest trouble with these
full dress, sawed-oh' coat affairs is
that one can hardly distinguish
himself from the walters. He 5
very liable, when he hears a bell
ring, To say Coming, sir, D"
One OF our citizens who lately
bought realty now asks the
preacher when he attends PRAYER
meeting, not To start that beautiful
hymn-"When ! Can Read My
Title Clear" II awakens too
many memories.
At Reno, Nevada, a dogcatcher
has been doing business. A crowd
of women started out the other day.
mad as wet hens, and they made
that dog chaser look like dog
gone chaser before they were
through with him.
\ good woman recently called ON
me To write an al for her estray
COW. After telling about the
animal She said, regarding the
color, that the COW was virtuously
white Any good COW that is
"virtuously white" is worth adj.
vertlslng for.
Some men have lots of luck.
II I'd bought that half block that
Nandermeer bought and had paid
Aooo for il couldn't have sold il
IN a year for more than S,Soo!
Nandermeer paid s7ooo-and be.
fore three days pass he is offered
5000 Bully for the Dutch
Him as has, gifts" reminds us
of a grocer back in South Dakota.
\ women went into his store and
asked FOR eggs. Yes, he had them
they were 2oc a dozen. "Why,
Mr. Bloeser." demonstrated the
buyer, Mr., Snyder asks only Isc
a dozen" well, w don't YOU
buy OF him, temp" said the grocer.
"Oh, he hasn't any this after
noon, was the reply, And as
the disguised German turned away
he calculated, "Vel, py tam! Ven |
don't haf any | sell tenn for Isc,
too
When a woman stands and rubbers on a
several party" line,
She should either show her license OF
pay her little fine.
= Ils an awful aggravation when you've
told thing or two
To have someone out in public tell those
things all back 10 youl
We know a girl who rubbers-they call
her Rubber Nell''--
She grabs down the receiver every time
she hears the bell;
She'll rubber, rubber, rubher-and in
her hollow head
She stores each careful secret and all
gossip that is said;
And then She gals upon the street this
information mine
And NopS about the things She Learned