The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-09-27

my grandchildern to say .nat youI Cn C 1 ital, or Mister Roosevelt, or congress m l session, sew fired with a determination | to go there 1 at last begun my Jour
 Now, don't imagine tnet your uncle | Si never road on the train before, put | thar's always sumthing new 10 conIuse Sled diiH~ in the coach before a sassy look sleeves rolled up looked at me like ] he'd stole stole rss ssd rts fes up and ses yew ding fooi--i know it's a male car.. did you think i wanted to ride In the ssss ss5 to bagte nS Sim one in the face but my better judgment prevailed, sew what must i do but waddle out of the | pesky car jest for the sake of peice. didn't want to make trubble-.i thinkf nlf | the feller was crazy. with the heat. well l if 1t want one thing it war anuther to irrytait me 1 kept walking. but to be luther half faiiing-tiii landed plump in seat by fat woman as pig as barn-that woman ought to have been the hui seat. To make 1t worse she had big yailer cage by her side and in It parrot of all things-a Poll Bird. tween Swearing at the conductor and
 the too the blamed conductor msa a1 she tell me cut nnsen me on S sRor e1ery thing i asked him. 1 mean to sue the rode yet about that l asked him & 1T ne ne was sure the dinged train " wenn nnyrse se lick he could bite a nail into: I asked him if he would go slow over the bridges as 1 had a wife at ,f.d nome e. trs Ge- I'll never ride on his pesky road agin-- I'll walk or drive the old mare.
 Finnally we reached what & he ,,a seq twinkling out of the car winder what l tuk at first to be several moons but knew hadn't been drinking anything. once more an hope I'll be forgiven fer how near 1 come to murderin tht stuck up conductor for the way he an swered that last question.
 Which end. of the car do get out of?" asked him as pleasant as could with a smile that had won many gafs effext on that iron hearted man in the
 %Either end" ho replied sarcastick."
 Sots ssea shS to say dee
 read in the papers where it said to always ask questions when yew are ances for the rough answers and cold looks yew are going to get from every" body yew approach. low the more felt stranger and the more 1 realised had no friends like the home folks. the world is a cold, going too fast, living to strenuous to have any love in their hearts for their feller men, think~the milk of human kindness has all turned to sour whey.
 but 1 am ruminating too much.
 finally 1 got out 0 though the train to cap the climax when it stopped threw me back against the fat woman of knocked the breath out of them both the parrot Dit me on the impulse of the moment and the fat woman hit me ward and knocked the breath out of the conductor and was so happy be- cause knowed 1t was all the trains fault, and had had revenge, too, well landed as 1 say on the smooth cement floor and 1t felt so nice couldn't help seraping my feet sum. but a dinged boy q settin, on a truck sed look at the jay looking Sound for the jay as he called It but ] never seed thing. that boy had better eyes than me.
 i walked around them tracks to and | fro for several minutes and got all turned around but showed a man my ticket and he put me on the train for sTtsp@fi si of reiief. ! set 00"" and Oreathed
 well there was lots to see on the rode but 1 can't tell it all as my space | -limited--that's a toke-your uncle si can tell em now and then.
 ut last the conductor different from
 
 sidled up to me and asked if wanted ] a sleeper.
 sized him up in a minit-i knowed he was selling something and these words proved it--he wanted me to buy sleeper-which in a minute guessed was some little pills to make you sleep. good sleeper myself AG1e sez, you nIisun, derstand me--i mean don't you want to go into the sleeping car and go to bed | for the nite
 '1f that's what you mean sez i, beg ging his pardon il go yew, how much Is it. two dollars he replied. and so he give me a little meal ticket arrange coach.
 it was pretty dinged fine 2 tell you. he'd curtains swung all around the beds and the pesky beds was two story. 1 sez to the man holy moses do you ex- pect me to crawl into that pesky box with, the fringe on the side-why couldn't duble up in there. he sez eve rybody. else does. here you have No. ten, upper berth.
 then he went away and was skeer- slung my old valise in first and then give a powerful spring and landed in the ding bed kerplump. well, mister editor. hope to dye if 1t wasn't jest like cofin-that upper berth 1 felt so squeezed up 1 didn't know what to dS
 beans. finally got my clothes off, but into the dinged hammock.
 don't believe anything but a dwarf can sleep in them hammocks anyway.
 well when 1 woke up 1t was daylight and didn't know 1 had been asleep. | 1 got out all right finally and dress ed myself and had a souse in the ding ed washbowl. but 1 couldn't stop the water from running so let her run, guess the engineer or what ever you | call him stopped 1t.
 well about ten o'clock reached Washington and got out in the car barn: i got out in the sixth street Pennsylvania station and asked a po- 1 liceman the way to the Avenue and he | told me.
 started out lookin' for a good hotel and found one. was so dnged tired when got a room thet set down in my chair and kept still,
 so while i'm resting I'll send this | letter off, and next time will tell you about Washington q c. the home of l Rrat At least 2 man on the train sed 1t was. never knew of MT. Graft but guess i'll find him somewhere among the big bugs Solong- | Uncle Si..
 Cotton Manufacturing in the south. l Washington Post
 In the last three years 4sS cotton | mills have been erected, and of this