The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1905-03-23

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bows crooked. One
sees lot OF fun-
ny things at a big
soda water dispen-
sary.
She looked as
though she cams from South scituate,
wherever that is. and she waited gently
UP TO the counter, elbowed her way in
ana asked the clerk. "You sell soda water
feref" or course, they did and the clerk
knew 1t so he naturally responded. Yes.
mn cam"
We'll. ia like one-now L"
You'll have TO get a check at the win
dow just behind you"
"Oh. have TO get check, do i? Well
now amt that funny! Save my place for
mo won't your
do you sell soda water checks here?"
she asked the girl behind the grating.
Yes, madam" was the quiet response.
We'll, ] want one--now what flavor do
I want TO pay for--iet me see"
They are all tho same price for plain
soda water-five cents"
Yes, that's what want. just the plain,
without any cream--I don't like cream for
wo have"
Here's your check--fve cents. :" said the
glri
"oh, oh. thanks awfullv7"
Well, ! got my check, sonny" she
said to the man behind. Now, let me
see, what kind OF soda do want Let me
see-well, what kind do you have7"
We have all kinds. madam, coffee.
chocolate, lemon, raspberry"
"Oh. never mind saying them all over.
What kind would you suggest that /
taae2"
well, madam. that's a matter OF per
sonal choice. Some like chocolate, others
like"
well, don't like chocolate. guess TIL
take raspberry--no. won't eIther--its too
sweet Lemons good. but don't like lem
on. Let me see--I guess I'll take coffee
no that's not good for the blood they say.
Now, really. sonny, won't you suggest,
something good7 YOU know, you know.
being here all the time and"
"Nell. you ought 10 know what you
like. madam, Say, how does vanilla
strike your"
That's it--thats just It. Vanilla
knew ali the time that II was vanilla what
| wentedl'
There Is good story going the rounds
OF a certain prominent lawyer In this
City, who wa@- --eF4iHg out of his office To-
Gated in one OF the tslest buildings here.
AS he left the elevator. a man approached
him and said; Pardon me sir, but I'm a
stranger aud In serious trouble; can you
tell me who is the best lawyer In town.
The baIrister looked at the stranger
moment. and replied, Il am. slr!'
Then the stranger looked surprised and
responded: Pardon me sir. but Id like
10 have you prove it'''
Don't have 10 prove 1T, my friend"
said the lawyer, Il admit it!'
The last man OF party to tell a story
has the advantage. know IL. I'm
somewhat Of a liar myself. A half
dozen men were seated about ono Of those
round shiny tables in certain cafe, on
certain street. at a certain time the
other day. They were telling stories
that Is some people would call them
stories-others might call them--well.
never mind what. IL finally came up
to the last man To do his turn and he
spoke as follows We'll. boys. I hap
pened to witness a funny thing last week
coming down on a train from Boston.
The cars. all of them. were jammed full
and j hied myself TO the smoker and
side Of Boston woman with small dog
! entered the car and took scat on tho
other side OF the aisle from me and one
| seat ahead OF young man who was
! smoking a Turkish cigarette. ! wondered
at first what she was doing In the smoker
| but overheard her tell the brakeman that
| there want oven standing room in the
other oars an she just had TO sit down
| with Fido an the smoker was all that
| Iafs oh nd Nod
! his cigarette and the woman shifted a
! couple OF times. Pretty soon he threw
| the cigarette away and pulled out one OF
! those great big culm-burner-lookng pipes
! filled IL and began 10 smoke like n chin
ney. This the woman couldn't stand, IL
seemed and she turned and said with
| ferVor: T could stand tho cigarette. bit
/ that pipe--never.' Then she grabbed the
| pipe and threw IL out OF the window
''Of course, the young fellow was dumb
| founded. but getting his optics on pretty
! Fido reached over. grabbed him and
| tossed the purp out the window after the
pipe. Well. well. you never saw n woman
! apparently so heated up in your life, and
| she poured forth a torrent Of abuse that
was certainly an eye-opener My husband
Is waiting for me at Providence and he'll
settle with you for this insult and the
| loes OF Fido.' she cried.
"Of course. I was interested in the In
\ cident and was anxious 10 zee the out
| come so when the train steamed into
| Providence I quietly followed after the
! two. Sure enough. n mana big fellow
met the woman and che began In an ex-
! cited manner 10 tell him OF the incident
at the same time pointing 10 the young
/ man. The husband. after hearing his
/ wifes tale. started for the young man
and they. too, began heated argument
/ The husband was just about 10 haul off
and land him one when a sharp. shrill
sound was heard--and--
Yes! Yesr anxiously exclaimed the
/ other listeners around the table.
well, a sharp, shril sound was heard.
| then a bark and would you believe A.
down the traLs came that dog with the
/ pipe In his mouth Honest"
/ The balance OF the party didn't say a