davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1905-09-26
LAUGHING LINES.

What's the matter with Mcsosh?" 4
He fell down and broke the viaduct or
You mean the bridge?'
We'll u think yiaduot is the better
you now."-Cleveland Leader.
Paying Teller-I can't cash this check,
madam, until you are identified.
Mrs. Bright-You mean have to identify
myself?
Paying Teller--Yes, ma'am.
Mrs Bright-How simple! Have you a
looking glass?-Philadelphia Ledger.
Visiting Aunt-Laura 1 wouldn't let a
husband OF mine talk to me as George has
just been talking to you.
Mrs. Ferguson.Why, auntie, It's a relief
house and his Office has been out OF order
and working abominably all day long
Chicago Tribune.
Knicker-Its a pretty honest world.
Bocker-Yes, indeed, the man who finds
fault goes to lot of trouble to return 1t
to the owner.-New York Sun.
us that rich old spinster a man hater2',
II should say mott She sets fire to the
woodshed periodically, 10 give the firemen
a chance to cail!''-Detroit Free Press.
They say the widow Longgreen can
think of nothing but money"
We'll she has remarkably we'll stocked
wen stockedI' e4'.AAa '4'-S-
Yes, a million and a quarter in bank
EtOSh ~ CIV dOONC par -~ieNSldnu ram
Dealer.
Here's your roem," said, the good-na-
tured landlady. Now We'll try to make
you feel at home"
Don't do It," replied the new boarder.
Everything at home made me tired that's
why l came ere."-Phiadelphia Ledger.
"Weal," remarked Farmer Korntop, just
returned from a visit to the metropolis.
New Yorks big place, but in one way
faint so big as this hyar town o. Ruben
Vile"
Dew telll" exclaimed Jay Peters.
"Ya'as sir why the place is so dnged
small they hev ter build the houses right
spang Jp agin one another ter git 'em oil
in."-Philadelphia Press.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-09-26

"Is that rich old spinster a man hater?'
II should say mott She sets fire to the
woodshed periodically, to give the hremen
a chance to call!"-DetrQit Free Press.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-09-26

Kncker-Its a pretty honest world.
Bocker-Yes, indeed, the man who finds
fault goes to a lot of trouble to return It
to the owner.-New York Sun.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-09-26

They say the widow Longgreen can
think of nothing but money"
well, she has n remarkably we'll stocked
Omaha daily bee., 1905-09-26

GEORGE b, TZSCHUCk,
Treasurer.
subscribed in my presence and sworn to
before me this S1st day of August, 1905.
(SeaO NJ. b. HUNGATE,
Notary Public.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-09-26

"Well stockedT" 1850
Eyes, million and a quarter in bank
stock at $50 above par"-iCleveland Plain
Dealer.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-09-26

Paying Teller-I can't cash this check
madam, until you are identified.
Mrs, Bright-You mean l have to identify
Omaha daily bee., 1905-09-26

Paying Teller--Yes, ma'am.
Mrs. Bright-How simple! Have you a
looking glass ?-Philadelphi Ledger.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-09-26

PUBLISHED EVERY MORNING.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-08-13
Fully Qualified.

From the Columbus dispatch.
Baseball Magnate--Well, what do you
want?
Applicant-A job as umpire.
Baseball Magnate-Had any experience
In that line2
Applicant-No; but was the success
full leader of church choir for seven
Baseball Magnate--Goodl Name your
own salary
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-02-02
i BEAUTY BANDS CHAPEL.
London society Women said 20 Masn-
tain odd Devotional Institution

x,aufson society Women said 20 Matn-
tain odd Devotional Institution
Under the heading Manicurists
Chapel. SANITY Band Of Beauty Doc
tors, London morning paper prints
4 remarkable story Of q manicure e
enlistment maintained By society wo
men. which was recently opened ~ z
fashionable street of Plecadllly. says
London cable dispatch TO the Chicago
Tribune
Ontwardly tie shop deessi't diileI
from the ordinary establishment q II
Kind. but inside is to lie fprnd Z pri
yate chapel. where tie fair aahiefIfasss
are encouraged to perform their dairy
devotions. Tie clientele includes MANY
women Of title, but only Z few 81 -
privileged few are ever SLOWED e pen
citrate tie recesses of the manieufis3s
chapel
Fresh cur flowers and lighted san
dies deck the altar, and the light fait
on bneeling GROUP Of manleasl5e
through the windows of the stainei
glass. Ii solemn procession ne nAn
! curists. clad iii perfectly htting MAC
gowns ana white embroidered collars
mass into tire chapel each morning p
fore manicuring the fair fingers q
| single patron
! The manicurists' assistants are z
girls 81 good birth, and az q thei
have made a solemn vow never uns''
any circumstances to manicure 9 mal
| The girls who belong 70 this saint
ana select band OF beauty doctors ma
not even beauty the bands Of INC
own brothers. a forfeiture Of $500
mentioned as one o. the penalties Z
the siisohedience to this eleventh eoE
nsnafnent Of the rnAnicurists
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-02-02

them in complete and battling darkness |
They could see nothing and had only |
tie crack OF their enemies rifles 10
guide them in their fire. The iight
blinded and confused them, and where
they were exposed to It's rays the Rus
sian bullets fell fast and furious They
had no means of retaliating against
their enemies. who were hidden behind
screen Of light, 50 they had to take
cover during the whole time Of THEN
advance In declivities in the soil or
behind small mounds Of hiIlocks. where
the rays of the implacable light could
NOT reach them. 1t was remorseless.
and. though we ourselves stood faf
away on a hill, it blinded US i we
looked at 1t like sunshine and made Cyl
cry stone. every straw, every feature
OF our faces stand out SIS clearly as IN
broad daylight-at distance Of over
| six miles.
Then suddenly another Light Of
which the Russians had nine, threw
| the Japanese into the fullest relief.
| Instantly d tremendous fire was open.
ed up on them from rifles and especial
1 " from machine guns. which at this
| range played havoc with them on the
eoverless plain. They could see moth
ing: they could do nothing, Death was
among them, and they knew not how te
evade it. They were blind and help
less and did not know where they
were or where the enemy was. Every
thing got mixed up for them. Even
the bravest among them recognized
that there was only one thing 20 do
get away, away from the slaughter
away from the cruel light, back Z
their own camps, back to the night ans
4 the darkness.
II Al Japanese machine gun attemptes
I'd cover the retreat A star shell in
stantly detected 1t, whereupon
ii searchlight was turned upon II, ana th
I | Russian quick firers went up and com
menced their "pom-pom-pom" agains
d 1t and put it out Of action az once
4 was no use. The attack was hopelessl
!. broken. The Japanese before the sleg
were not accustomed 10 the searci
al lights. AS one OF their officers said
3 me gloomily after the reverse line
Isl are the most deadly weapons we has
Il co face
( AT times we could hear faint swis
al IN the air when star shell was fire
IA A thin, scarcely perceptible curved ii
"a Of sparks mounting skyward, rain
e. white phosphorus stars sinking slowl
4 slowly through the dark night, 2 glol
ID Of light dream OF beauty and an e
ii celient means of Illuminating Tor 9 Re
i'd moments the underlying country ID
bel way that no ten searchlights can 90
CHI because the light Of an immense inte
he atty comes from right above so IN
III there are no deep shadows Ever
ISL thing is laid bare. and not man g
y. move or lie under the circle Of lig
an without being discovered.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-02-02
WANTED A
w REHEARSAL


copyright, 1908. By Richard D. sheltonl
Tie play was over. The curtain had
gone down, amid tremendous APP
lause. Oh a ftting tableau-the heroine
clasped In tile hero's arms; the Villain
yanquished, but defiant, glaring Ut
them from the papier mache arbor'
and the pair Of secondary lovers in-
duising In expressive pantomime on
balcony that threatened momentarliy
to collapse.
True love had run It's uneven course
for an hour and thrce-quarters, and
after surviving series Of idiotie mis-
hnps, absurd doubts and all the other
obstacles an enthusiastic amateur play
wright could put In its path i had
emerged unseathed and triumphant
The orchestra was playing the latest
popular march as a sort Of recessionat
FOR the admiring relatives and friends.
Lady Gataere. still IN costume. sank
weariiy into rIckety wooden chair II
one or the little anterooms near the
stage. sir Charles Windon climbed
nile Of properties used III act and.
perched there precariously, rested his
chin on his upturned palms and sur
yeyed the lady thouehtfnlly.
II suppose should apologize" be
began tentatively. Still would Ike
to shy d word Iii self defense. May lf8
eco on. said Lady ssataere coldly.
aWem. / thought tho scene demanded
ii. It seemed ID make it more real. r.
everyday life the man would have done
1T"
WEIR she said III challenge as he
paused
aAnd--an 50 did, he said lamely.
aAnd TINT is your excuseg' she ask
ed. with considerable asnerity.
III I need one, yes" SAID be.
Lady Gatacre regarded him Jelly Ifei
nose was elevated the fraction Of q
Inch.
II suppose yon realize fully the EN-
harrassing position you placed me inf
she said.
believe me | didn't intend 70" ,
demonstrated
cor course yoH heard that very az
Aible Utter 10 the sudisncsT she wen
On.
he acdded
ut was none oS thsir brsiress,s b
esmpiained.
eIf." she said quickly, yen hadn
mads II 70 apparent # you hadn
caused. debated "a It were, 1t wouldn
have been quits 70 conspicuous 81
when you stopped and locked ahoE
"a the and the8"--
~Kiased ysa, he syxplied aiacst II
mmphantiy.
sOh. it was too Ehastly evident ~
- vas imprenaptur sbs hHishea.
4 vas perfectly willing to rehesri
AT piece Il business BE- suggested
IL vas unfair Of yoH, shs said be
h. sws agreed to leavs y -tist
wsi ridiculous and unnecessary
- became auits necessary wAea y
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-02-02

theme. / do not speak IN a parts4
sense.
i would speak to you Of culture OF
behalf Of the people at work-the con-
mon people, II you win. That is nos
a term Of reproaeh. The uncommon
people are not so important as Trey
think they are. The common people
produce the national wealth.
Real culture is not alone refine
ment of taste and intellectual attain
ment and capacity. The right sort OF
culture is an enlargement Of the ca.
pacity for service and tie willingness
to improve the opportunities culture
gives. The cultured people have moi
been living up TO their responsibility
and opportunities.
"The scholar does not do his duty to
the people Of today, and he has not
done It in the past Democracy, TIE
spirit Of the republic, APPEALS to cul-
ture for justice. truthfulness and sery.
ice. We do not see so much OF the
| brutal sins Of the past, Ike assault
and battery and highway robbery. ori
there are modern sins.
food is adulterated. endangeriaa
life. Isn't 1t strange thing that sup
posedly Christian men will to declare
dividends neglect to supply their mer
with safety appliances ard allow thy
sacrifice Of life through che WORKING
| Of children in the factoriesg
"There are enormous wrongs y
methods that are sometimes considered
respectable. Look at the great swim
| ding operations in your city banks
i There are cases Of bank burglary b,
i officials far worse than those for whiel
II men serve terms in Sing Sing. Peopl
Z trust the great names Of finance an
are robbed hy fraudulent fnetuation
caused by watered stock.
i. ut is TOO true that the cultured 81
sumo themselves to be snnerior 70 the
! brothers and begrudge small advai
i taces 10 even tie less cultured. III
greatest Indictment against the Gu
tnred Is not that they do wrong opei
| II or willfully. but because they stan
Il idle In the vineyard and do not v
Q their powers for helpful service. ~
trouble Is that the colleges DO E
IS much to educate the mind and not z
a heart
b Fl have never Intentionally said an
il thing that could be construed as ARA
II ing class against class. I do not ,
ID lieye that there are two classes
heaven. and SO why can't the Y
ri classes get together here on earthf
iii sThe scholar must be somethil
IS more than d simple mental machir
IL The humbIest human being is great
It than the greatest statue. ] am not
ri pessimlst and see today better thin
81 and better times coming.
d @The tide toward the great assoc
tlons or wealth Is turning. and
Oh light OF d better day is dawning He
IL there and everywhere there Is an ava
NV ening OF the civic conscience
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-02-02
The Times Daily Short Story.

appeared III that gown. I'm only hu.
man, you know !.
eyou are quite inhuman sometimes
she observed.
Il couldn't help It" he said with
abject humility.
s'Your only excuse seems to be 2 Re.
iterated plea Of responsibility, SAID
she
Sir Charles scratched his head aud
smiled hopefully.
Il am an irresponsible party, that's
4 fact said he. Look here, i ! say
I'm sorry, do yon forgive mel'
asorry for what7 Forfor''--
.sFor putting you In an embarrassing
nosition; for the other. never
LADY, Gatacre frowned and flushed.
ayon'lI have TO be sorry for both be-
fore you're forgiven" she said.
aFhen shall die unabsoIved," he de-
clared with fnaiity,
aIt seems to me you're making oaa
matter worse" said she.
sweli, turn about l. fair play pc
renIIed mThat Is Just what you've
4
been doing the past three weeks
81 fear / don't follow you" said
Lady GatacFe. ..
.Vhen we started rehearsing this
timep said tie. Il was beginning 70 fall
III love with you That was the bad
matter Since we've been rehearsina
vou have completed what was already
begun. That's the worse,
/ He looked lit her steadily, Lady Cat
mere studied the toe Of her shoe ~
conla see Fer cheeks were crimson
eThat was why kissed You % ! DIS
IN tie garden scene, he said.
Lady Gatacre did not deign 70 iooi
up from her shoe.
eAre you really very angry p
asked
every. she replied
he slid down from bis perch an
stood beside heg
eyyhat are the specific causes Of yon
angerf be asked
/ .,Eyerything. she said vaguely
aAre YOU angry because I said
loved you?p he questioned.
: She was silent.
aAre your he persisted.
sen sfe was silent.
Sir Charles permitted himself . co
ert smile.
I sff it's only the Kiss be began.
I she sat up suddenly.
.qf was the way you did IT. =
flashed. and her eyes again sought =
= interesting shoe
~The way did IT be ehpckled.
Z think--welt. hadn't rehearsed Il. n
= KNOW think with few rahearRsls
! could do II better,
= He came Close bsssde beg aHd laid
Z hand on her hair
Il want to rshearss 4 tarsuSh ST =
= fafetin1e.a be paie earnestly.
ne waited patiently. Presently Ia
~ ssatecre looked up At hira and sraiisi
sYou-vou really 40 saea reaoarsf'
= n that iinA, she said.
Pvt tie vfiafn and tie psfT = y
4 rnaxrv levers wsrs lacking 20 co
= plste ths tahle@u
FORBES DWIGHT
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-02-02
W. ]. Bryan Tells UniVerSity's
Alumni What They Are
NEGLECTFUL OF PEOPLE
Colleges Educate Minds and Not Hearts,
says the Nebraskan = Light
Of a Better Day
Dawning.

william Jennings Bryan. who recent
Iy addressed the Alumni association 81
syracuse university at New York on
'The Appeal OF Democracy to the cui'
tured Classes, said In part
Il have lost no opportunity in recent
years 10 make tile acquaintance Of the
people OF the east. Something ] said
IN 1880 was taken not as intended i.
/ said something about the enemy 1
country. After looking ~ the results
Of two elections, that was true II
sense. But / did not mean Il IN me
way 1t was Interpreted
u am not embarrassed In 50 far ~
Syracuse is UNCONVENTIONAL in its lean
ings. because my mother was q Metlo
dist ana became Baptist 20 please ms
father NV wife was Methodist ant
became Presbyterian 70 please me
AZ nv father took one and ] took an
other from the Methodist church.
have made up for it By Attending
Methodist church near my farm for tw'
years
II have always liked the friendlines
Of the Methodist church, and there Il
doctrine ID the Presbyterian shuEc
that / 40 not ike. aud that Is the on
Of election. have had a good deal 9
trouble about that, both rellgiously an
otherwise.
"But have seen light through Y
controversy of southern Prcsbyteria
and Methodist, both colored parson
Tie Presbyterian explained Il to Y
satisfaction. saying that there was 70
inc going on all the time The Loi
was voting one way and the devil y
other. and whichever Way the indiYl
uaI voted the election went.
ssThe pleasure have n meeting VI
Is that bear message g YOU "
mocracy's Appeal to Culture y 2
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-02-02
Ths msak,s Meet.

the rock Is the only bird that re-
pairs his nest IL the autumn. Tbs
same blrts use the same nesta year
after ysar. aud iust befers migrating
they touch up their nests and put tJeia
II order for tks wlaf@
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-02-02
aa.atahen rAAernlItr.

Believing that batch Of genuine i've
pound notes which be had picked % y
the street were limitations issued fof
Advertising purposes, an Ilfera ss'hs.
land lad gave thsrn away right anc
fsHff
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-02-02

x1aGIIn = mRADY R0R EEawAMT usEs
few drogs 81 Fszlox Pride stove FulaaA Kives
~ staw# ! hsilliant iassTs sAams, asking the
stuva 81 FOR shs pAFlar, . aetlea Aaads-easy
~ amply AiwaYe ready. Ne wafeE ns@1 lNAesr
"a aasfe BaiiaAsa rnsts tie stevsh 20 arteasup
$3.50 renaius after aaing = while parsar
Fsgsah 100 = the LAST Dip. sold - al deal
80 rs aarts By Amith nres CAsa4es y nifds
& arehAat L Fraser. 81 Ton5aat, k&stHsAA
Araa, Mxe II arMnt " H. t9AnsS cewa
FxAAA1s q AvsmAA
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-10-12

ers will plight their troth. The young
couple are well known In the city and
many invitations have been extended.
Immediately after the ceremony the
for Richmond.
Mr. Edward NJ Bruce has announced
the engagement of his daughter, Mar
garet Mae Bruce, to Mr.. Taylor Carney.
both of Lower Parish. The marriage Will
take place early in November at Church,
land Va. Miss Bruce has visited In SUI
folk frequently, and has numerous friends
there.
Mr.. Henry shackleford, of New York.
whose novel, THE Lost King" has had
one of the largest sales of recent pub
;llcations, has returned to New York, after
spending some weeks at keswick. He
will soon have sequel to "The Lost
King" brought ont. which promises to
be most brilliant story
Miss Mamie Baker. of Norfolk. has
been chosen sponsor TO tho Petersburg
sons of Confederate Veterans. with Miss
Margaret Cory as maid of honor.
Mrs. John D. Prultt and Mr. Burton
Lyon, of Danv!lle. are students this year
mt the University College of Medicine
here,
Mrs, Preston Moses is here for the
Horse Show
Miss Nina Cans daughter OF Mr.. and
Mrs ]. Cans, Of this city Is n 4tudcnt
at Paramount Seminary, Washington this
winters
Misses Llta and Alice Serkeel, Misses
Antonio and Hollyday and Miss Julia
Wells. Of Norfolk. who have been spend
Ing the summer abroad, are expected
home next week.
At meeting OF the City Union of
Kings Daughters in Suffolk. Va. the
following officers were elected; Mrs,
Leo Britt, president; Mrs. John King,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-10-12
The DISTRICT. FAIR
. STRUGGLES WITH 4 Rain
One Thousand People Brave
Discomforts to Enjoy the
Days Programme.
The TImes. Dlspatch.)

i
EAST RADFORD. VA. October H.
In spite OF the heavy rain, which fell all
night and continued In ntrul gusts during
the morning; In spite OF wntry winds
that blew q perfect tornado and water
soaked track, about Il thousand people
brayed the elements to-day and the great
district fair made Its official bow TO the
public for another year.
Owing to tho condition OF the track mo
tournament was postponed until Ihurs-
day morning, but tho afternoon pro-
Eramme. with some notifications, was
carried out and aroused much enthu-
sasrn. despite the dlscomforts Of the
Weather A splendid concert by the.
Roanoke Machine Works Band Officially
opened the programme and inc band
played the entire afternoon In Agricultu-
raj Hall; the high wind made It impos-
sblo for them to play IN the band stahd.
The exhibition Jumping. with nine on
tries, was much enjoyed, and the races
were close. though tho time was longer
than would have been the case had inc
track not been very heavy. The run
Ming race, half mile heats, for purse OF
800, was won by Sylvnndel. owned by
Jameson, Roanoke. Time, 70 1-2 seconds.
Tho mixed trot and pace, for purse OF
500. was won by I'leety j., owned BY
jameson, Roanoke. Time. 2:4o.
The Norrens world champion hlsh nlS-
ers aroused great enthusiasm. While
others shivcred In furs and oyercoats. the
plucky man and his little wife plunged
gracefully into pool Of Hey wafer
without the slightest hesltancy or appa-
rent discomfort climbing repeatedly from
the pool to the top OF the high tower,
whence tho dizzy plunge Is made.
Thursdays programme Is fine one,
and great crowd will be in attendance
If the skies are but fair.
The cattle show Is up to It's usual high
STANDARD. and the exhibit of horses Is the
finest In the lhistOry Of tho nssOclat!On.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-10-12
First Brigade Sponsor.

Miss Mary Osborne Templeton, of
Waynesboro, Va, will be tho guest Of
Judge and Mrs. William Hodges Mann
during the reunion In Petersburg. Miss
Tcmplcton has been appointed sponsor
for the First Brigade. Sons Of Veterans,
and Miss Mary Paul Roper, of Peters
burg will be her maid-of-honor Miss
Templeton was sponsor-in-chief for the
Sons at the state reunion in Lynchburs
last year, and was much admired. Shc
Is considered one OF the hnndsomleSt
girls IN the Valley of Virginia. md IS
very popular.
Waters-Davis
The wedding Of Mrs. Margaret Bass
Davis, of New York, daughter OF james
Leslie Bass OF Augusta. Ga, late gen
eral superintendent OF the Augusta and
Port Royal Railroad. to Mr.. Hood
Waters, Of Baltimore well known club
momber and sportsman was celebrated
at p. NJ. Wednesday. October .llth. an
hra wing room OF the Jefferson Hotel, the
ROY. George II, Spooner. OF Broad street
NJ. L. Church, officiating,
The drawing room was fragrant and
beautiful with palms and roses, and Miss
Mary Willie smoot played number
Of charming selections, and, during tho
ceremony, symphony by Rubcnstein
The bride wasI elegantly gowned IN pink
lavender lTorentno silk, en- princesse,
with a rich garnitura of rose point lace
and Il lavender velvet and lace hat, with
curling plumes encircling the crown and
resting close against the hair. She car
RED orchids.
Among relatives and friends who came
to Richmond for the Wedding were Dr.
and Mrs, G, NJ. Cantrell, of Little Rock.
Ark; Miss Waters, OF Baltimore, the
groom's sister, Mr.. Charles Fricker, ~
Amercus, Ga. and Captain FRANK De
witt. Of Washington,
Mr.. and Mrs, Waters viii spend several
months In Western travel, after which
they viii make their home In Haltl-
more.
Casey-Ryan.
Miss Mary Ellen Ryan. Of this city.
was married 10 Mr. James barnard
Casey yesterday morning at O'Clock
In ST. Peters Cathedral. Hay. j, ]. BOWL
err vicar-gencra OF the diocese. per-
formed tho ceremony, The bride was
stylishly gowned In travelling suit Of
gray yoile, Altar decorations were in
palms and farms. Massrs. u, Il. Ryan,
c, u. Lynch. Joseph Ia Masnrer and
John j. poran were the ushers.
After Northern tour Mr.. and Mrs.
Casey will be at hons In Portsmouth,
where the groom Is in business,
Schaaf-Behle.
Belle. OF No. 1dl2 West Franklin Street
daughter Of Mr.. Louis A. Hehlc. 10 hr
Edward Matthew Schaaf. son of Hr
Christian Rehaaf, and associated In husi'
TESS with the firm OF Herman Schmidt