davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29

mander, John T. Parker, Lynn, Mass:
national chaplain, the Rev John S.
Gerguson, Keokuk, Iowa; national his.
torian, Gen. Henry White, Indianapo-
lis; adjutant general and quarteru,as'
ter general, w. C. McKelly, PittsbLrg.
The survivors of the battle of Shi-
loh organized national association.
Maj. S. X. Hooper, of Denver, was
elected commander in chief, S. N.
French OF Denver was chosen adju-
tant general, and Maj. L. II. Cooper
of Chicago senior vice commander.
j.. b. Stilling of Boston was chosen
to I'll the vacancy caused by tho
death of Commander in Chief Black
mar Of the Grand Army o. the Re-
pubic.
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
Turbines for Japan.

The Japanese have bought thirty
seven steam Turbines With electric gen
orators, all os which were made or
are being made in Schenectady. The
machines represent $4,000 horse
power. The srst shipment did not
reach Japan t;il July 30, 190i-just a
year ago. Already eleven of the thir-
ty-seven are n successful operation
for street rally ays, lighting and power
purposes. Sor7e of the turbines will
be used for operating electrically the
Mike coal mines on the island OF
kyusha.
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
aintinu.

Painting Is more frequent in sum
mer than at other seasons of the year.
1t is caused by a sudden failure OF 'he
heart? Thus the brain has an insult
ficient amount of blood-things turn
dark. the patient falls to the ground
and is limp and unconscious. The itcc
is pale.
Fear, joy. unpleasant sights, loss OF
blood, or pain. may cause flaming.
Nature suggests remedy in having
the patient fall. About the only thing
to do is not to do the very thing that
four out of five persons do in case
of fainting; namely, raise the patient.
1t is perfectly permissible TO raise ,he
patient, provided you keep the faet
higher than the head. No pillow
should be used for the head. The
clothing around tie neck should be
loosened: dash of cold water thrown
in the face will cause a gasp icr
breath, and the spell is over. The pa
tient should keep the reclining posi-
tion for some time after he becomes
conscious.
Ordinarily in a few minutes the pa
tient will be all right if nothing more
is done than to allow him to lie ger
fectly horizontal. If in a crowd. the
people should be made to stand bs ok,
thus allowing plenty of fresh air. 'fhe
patient should be removed to a quiet
place as soon as possible. Hot drinks.
and hot and cold applications TO the
spine are valuable If there is ten
dency for the attack to recur.
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
How He Fulfilled His Promise.

How He Fulfilled His Promise.
Mr.. Hannibal J. Driesbach, Mil
waukee man, has been addicted to the
use of the flowing bowl for more than
six years.
One day, however, he promised his
wife that his lips never again should
touch any kind of intoxicating liquor.
No, you mistake. He didn't take his
drinks thereafter through straw.
He quit the drinking habit absolute
ly.
There is rumor that he was arrest
ed the same day for grating, and has
not had a chance to drink anything
stronger than coffee since, but it can
not be traced to any trustworthy
source.
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29

He is a millionaire banker and he
lives in palace, but his heart IS as
hard as steel and as cold as ice.
"One of his men completed the
other day his twenty-fftn year OF SER
vice. For twenty-five years this hon
est man had worked for the banker
faithfully. He and his chief were
both poor at the beginning, but where
in the quarter century the banker had
accumulated millions the faithful, mid
dle-aged bookkeeper has only accumu-
lated few hundreds. His salary, you
see. was only $25 week.
"He didn't think the banker would
remember the twenty-ffth anniversary
of his engagement, but the old man
did That morning be handed the
bookkeeper sealed envelope.
George he said, to-day ends the
twenty-fifth year of your work for
me. and you have worked steadily and
well. In this envelope is memento
of the OCCASION
''The bookkeeper opened the en-
velope, trembling and eager. Within
lay his employers photograph. Tat
was all.
I'm the face of n disappointment
so bitter the poor fellow could say
nothing.
well asked the banker, what do
you think of it?'
Its just like you said the book
keeper simply
Mayor Kiriendall of Williesbarre
told at a reception a story about
young Wikesbarre clergyman.
He was married year ago. the
mayor said. land his wife, a good girl,
interested him in a charity for min
ers' orphans. He advocated this char
ity often from the pulpit, and wheI. a
subscription reached him he would
acknowledge it the next Sunday IN
church.
at happened that last June there
came to this minister on the same cay
subscription for s25 and young
son.
"A good deal of laughter was OK
cited the following Sunday when. ris-
ing in the pulpit. the minister said
that he felt very grateful for the
small succor that had arrived during
the week past
Samuel Gordeano. the Spanish evan
gelist, praised in New York American
humor.
Some one instanced. as superb
piece Of American humor, Arten.us
Wards dictum on the Shakespeare
Bacon controversy:
Il believe these plays were rot
written by Shakespeare, but by IN
other man of the same name"
Thereupon Mr.. Gordeano sald:
That is good. but like better
piece of humor about tramp.
This tramp. dilapidated, ruin. en-
tered a newspaper Office jauntil-
Say, Gully. is dis de Free Pr,ss?'
he asked the editor.
"'Yes, my man. the dsnifed edit0,
replied. What can we do for your
"'Ill just set down a minute and
unpeel. said the tramp. I want
creases pressed in desc here pants
P L. Hutchins, the cotton expert,
was praising an apt and witty speech.
"It reminded me-" he said. "of Il
scene in magistrates court that (
saw in my boyhood
An OLD man was naled DeloiS
magistrate for stealing chickens ant
the latter said very sternly to HIM
"'You are charged with robbnc
hen roosts. my friend. Have you any
witpesses?
THE veteran smiled calmly as he
replied:
"'No. sir. In my country we don't
rob hen roosts before witnesses.
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
What They Called It There.

as there garage in this town?"
asked the man who was endeavoring
to make ap automobile tour of Mis-
souri,.
'Waal, no." replied the native, "but
il you'll go up to the drug store on the
corner there and ask the red-headed
clerk for a baby rattle | reckon he'll
fix you out with about what you're
lookin' fer"
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
The Lacking Ingredient.

"Yes,' said the enthusiastic pro-
moter, I'VE have enormous mineral de-
posts on this land All we need sor
its development is a little money"
My friend,' answered Col. Still
we'll, you remind me of a neighbor
out my way who used to think he
almost had Il julep because he was in
possession of mint bed and
spring"
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
When the Train Starts.

Sweltering Stranger (at Cactus
Crossing)-When on earth does the
next train leave this sun-baked, hea.
ven-forsaken region?
Ilkali Ike-Waal, stranger, we has
each got right to his opinion on thet
subjek, but them thet knows declars
it hikes out jest after the enjine.
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
The Benefit of Contrast.

DO you think that industry is es-
sential to happness?"
"A little is" answered the easy
going person. "If man had never
done any work he would never real
ize how much comfort there is in
having none to do"
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
ssified.

The society reporter was away on
his vacation and the horse reporter
had been delegated to write up
wedding
But" protested the editor, glanc-
ing over the report, you failed to
mention the bridegroom's name
"It wash't necessary" explained the
equine authority. He finished among
those who also ran.
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
Girl at Baseball Game.

Patience-So you've been to the
baseball game?
Patrice-Yes. dear.
WAS it interesting?"
"Oh. very"
How did it come. out!"
why, one side got one run and
the other got two"
Which won?"
THE one which got two runs"
Eyes, know, but did the home
team win, or the visitors?"
ooh, didn't ascertain that on
kers Statesman.
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
At the Academy.

Miss Jones-How came you to think
of the subject, Mr.. de Brush?
Eccentric Artist-Oh | have had Z
in my head for years.
Miss Jones-How wonderful! What
did the papers say?
Eccentric Artist-Sad it was full of
Atmosphere" and suggested Space
Punch.
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
To Please Him.

Mrs. Ascum-But why do you buy
such expensive things when you know
your husband can't afford them?
Mrs. Wise-I just do it to please
him.
Mrs. Ascum-To please him?
Mrs. Wise-Yes there's nothing he
likes better than a chance to have
something to complain about to his
own people and pose as a martyr.
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
Strange to the Country.

Farmer Skinner (who takes in sum
msr boarders)--I wuz jest a-readip
about that Californy wizard. Burbank
a'a' b'gosh, he kin cert'nly do wonders
il. CROWN strange kinds NV veger
tiLles.
The Bravest Boarder-Has he sue
ceeded in producing canless peas or
unpreserved tomatoes Puck.
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
So tC Speak.

First Lawyer-Are you going to de-
fend Jimmison?
Second Lawyer-No. He hasn't a
good case.
First Lawyer-Why, l thought it
would be easy.
Second Lawyer-No, it's not-er-
feasible.
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
Dispara cement.

''Do you mean to tell mo You offer
ed that played-out ward heeler 81 900
for his influence?" asked Senator
Sorghum.
Yes said the willing but mex
perienced worker. Il was afraid you
would call it political corruption"
''My friend. that isn't political cor
ruption. That's frenzied finance"
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
Thouqh 1t Was Personal.

Young Man ION entering restar
Waitress-Quit your kiddin. ~
other fellow was in this morning Il
askeS me if had frogs legs.
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
Ewes in the Rear,

'It's strange" remarked the arch
aeologist, discussing the researches at
Pompeii, Its very strange that Pom
peii should have been so unprepared.
that it didn't know what was before
it."
"Oh, I don't know!" replied Kidder.
"You couldn't expect Pompeii to see
what was before it, considering the
location of its is"
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
Half the Pleasure.

did you have good time at the
picnic, Bubby?"
Nom; paw an nav went-an l
didn't have nobody L tell nuthin to
when | got home."-Puck.
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
Poor Child,

Mrs. Hanagan-My! but the Aherns
are crazy mad!
Mrs. Flanagan-What's the matther
wild thin?
Mrs. Hanagan-In an absint-minded
moment they christhened their baby
'Aloysius Patrick Just think O. the
initials of him!-Catholtc Standard
and Times.
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
Outdoor Treatment for Tubereu!osIs.

Medical experience in France has
shown that the treatment of tubercd-
losis of the bones and joints and other
forms of the disease by the open-air
or outdoor method Is quite as superior
to the ordinary methods as Is the
outdoor treatment of tuberculosis of
the lungs Profting by the experience
of France. the New York Association
for Improving the Conditi"- Of the
Poor has made provision at us sea
side camp on Coney Island COR ths
treatment Of children suffering frog
various forms Of tubercular disease.
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
A Caustic Critic,

There is no doubt in my mind that
Hamlet was perfectly sane"
Yes answered Stormington
Barnes. Hamlet was all right men,
tally. But l wouldn't say as much for
some of the actors who think they
can play the part"
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
Success Is Different.

Polk-When fellow starts to do
anything he can always succeed il he
only sticks 10 it.
Jolll-Not always. How about when
you start to remove sheet OF sticky
fly paper that you've sat down on?
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
Some New Stories Told on
NotableS and Their Friends

Samuel Gompers, in an address in
Philadelphia, said to labor organiza-
ton wittily:
There are at least no high finan-
ciers among you and none of your
names appear in 'Fads and Fancies.
Mr. Gompers had been talking
about human natures proneress to
err and n little later, in elaboration of
bis point. he said:
I'VE are all good deal alike. While
Smith feels ashamed of himself for
wanting to trick Jones. Jones at the
can time feels ashamed of himself
for wanting to trick Smith.
"rwo friends of mine-let us call
the Jones and Smith for convenience
were camping last month in the
Canada woods.
'"rhe days were superb. Cool, sweet
airs rocked the trees and in Il sky OF
the clearest blue shone splendid
sun. But the nights were cold; it
was necessary for Jones and Smith,
who had only one blanket apiece, tc
keep fire roaring at their feet all
the while they slept. The moment
the fire dwindled the cold seized them.
"Well, in the dead watches Jones
awoke one night and shivered. His
teeth chattered he was miserable.
gray ashes, wherein glmmered only
two or three yellow Goals.
Comfort demanded that the fire be
replenished, but Jones hated to crawl
out from under his blankets shelter.
If Smith, now, were awake he, too,
would feel the cold, and then would he
not, perhaps, leap up and throw on
fuel?
Zones, though good deal ashamed
of hmseilf, nevertheless kicked
Smith.
"a snore.
another kick.
"Another snore.
"a most tremendous kick and
full eyes, chuckled.
"I kicked you five minutes ago
he said, That is how you happen to
DO awake"
The late Daniel S. Lamont was born
in Cortlandvilie, n. Y, and a Cortland
VILE. man said of him:
"Mr. Lamont had always a pleasant
and tactful way. | once applied to
him for job for my son. He couldn't
do anything for the boy, but he put
me off delicately and he told me to
break the disappointment delicately
to the lad.
"rhis talk of delicacy and gentle.
in aI
mon. of a Cortlandville happening.
"ne said there was once n poor
young chap in our town who fell head
over heels in love with n farm girl
The young chaps love-making was
very seriously conducted. Sometimes
it seemed successful and he was gay.
Then it would seem rather hopeless
and lie would get a fit of the blues.
"In a fit of tn blues one night he
confded in a friend.
"Tm afraid there's no chance for
me- he said. In delicate way that
girl is discouraging my attentions to
her.
"How is she doing it?' the friend
asked.
"'Oh, mighty delicately. She told
me yesterday that she was twin. her
mother was twin and her grand
mother was a twin.
Jacob Riis. the sociologist, in an
address to a workingmen's club prais-
ed generosity.
81 see a handful of children here
he said MAY they grow up gener-
Gus. May none of them grow up into
such man as an old banker whom
l know
coake Rites
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
An Alternative.

Poor fellow! His doctor tells him
the only thing that-will cure him is
course of mud baths, and he cant af-
ford to go to the mud springs"
But surely he can go into politics
and let the mud come to him"
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
Judicial Verdict.

Judge-You are accused of beating
this person cruelty.
The Accused-,Well. l had to beat
him to make him do his work. He is
an idiot.
Judge (severely)-You should re-
member that an idiot is man like
you or me.-Les Annales.
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
Revised Version.

Mrs. Clubhouse-"Mrs. Upperten is
looking thin and worried of late"
Mrs. Strongmind-"Yes. Do you
know, l think she is roosterpecked.'
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
Necessary Notifications.
card from him fir St"

KnoX-"Why don't you cut that out?
Tone your talk down a bit"
Kandor-"Well, it's all right to call
a spade a spade, isn't it?"
KnoX-"Instead of calling it you
might whisper it occasionally"
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
Desperate Case,

Mrs. Bizzies husband should take
the Keeley cure"
Nothing but divorce would ever
cure him of drunkenness"
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
Sometime Fierce,

ITO think" grumbled the struggling
author. that l can't get any one to
publish my novel after all the pains |
took with it,
But" replied the critic, eff it were
published, think of all the pains you
give"
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
Not His Experience.

Friend-They say Cholly, that ex-
cessive cigarette smoking weakens the
intellect.
-Why-aw-I think my intel
Iost Is Just as strong as ever.
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
ENCOURAGING the Barber.

Encouraging the Barber.
Hicks-Penniman shaves himself,
doesn't he?
Wicks-Yes, and he's got an awful
nerve.
Hicks-How's that?
Wicks-Hell give himself clean
shave and then walk right into bar
ber shop for hair cut.
The Reason for II.
"My!" exclaimed the guest. "vhat
an array of pretty little doilies you
have at my place"
Yes" piped little Willie. "ma says
she can't have you messin up the
clean tablecloth like you did the last
time you We're here"
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
Sure to Find 1t.

Bosh-I knew a man once who had
never met with disappointment in
his life.
Josh-How was that?
Bosh-He was never looking for
any thing but trouble.-Detroit Free
Press.
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
One on Pa.

pal"
well, what is it now?"
'My teacher says I'm natural born
fool"
Your teacher is a sensible woman
and that is what I've always said. |
suppose she had to explain to you
what natural born fool was?"
Yes, pa. She said it was heredi
tary"
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29
OFFICERS CHOSEN BY VETERANS
Institutions Connected with q
G. A. r. Select Leaders,

The National Association of Union
Ex-Prisoners of War held its annual
session during the Denver encamp-
ment and elected the following offic-
ers: National commander, Col. ]. d.
Walker, Pittsburg; national senior
vice commander, John Kissane, Gin
cinnati; national junior yice com.
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29

the head Of the public printing office
for many years, has been retired.
The Claim is made that for long
time Mr.. Palmer has been physically
unable to snforce discipline in his Of
flee
The Springfield herald., 1905-12-29

Jacob Riis. the sociologist, in an
address to a workingmen's club prais-
ed generosity.
81 see handful of children here
he said May they grow up gener-
Gus. May none of them grow up into
such a man as an old banker whom
l know.
The Ocala banner., 1905-04-28
a Seautiful Easter Party.

Saturday night at eight o'clock the
ed with girls and boys who had
come to Heron and Ben Todd's
Easter party
The Easter idea was carried cut in
all the appointments.
The pretty score cards were made
to represent rabbits and were given
to the guests as they arrived by Miss
Rexy Todd. In each there was a diff
ferent form of amusement, except
the first contest which was played in
all the rooms. 1t was to carry a china
egg on fork acress the room. This
afforded great merziment, and to the
girl and boy who was successful
large eggs, made to represent faces,
were given.
throw ball and ring bell that was
suspended from the ceiling, hidden
in an easter lily. In the next room
the children were in turn blindfolded
and tried to drop an egg in a small
basket. In the dining room there
was a lot of china eggs placed within
large circle on the table. the OBJ
ject OF the game being TO knock the
eggs out of the circle with a rubber
bali. Z
The contests We're all exciting and
novel, ana the girl and boy winning
the most games were awarded with
lovely boxes of candy decorated in
effe tive Easter designs.
During the entire evening delicious
fruit punch was dispensed and at a
late hour cream and lake was served.
Each guest was piven, as souvenir,
an easter egg filled with chocolate
fudge.
Mrs. Todd was assisted by her
mother, Mrs. Green, Miss Louise Har-
ris and Miss Jessie Palmer in making
the party delightful affair.
The Ocala banner., 1905-04-28
James e. Engesser Critically III in
Atlanta

A telegram was received in this
city Friday announcing the SER
in Halcyon hospital in Atlanta. rs.
G. A. Carmichael. grandmother of
Mrs. Engesser left on the afternoon
Seaboard train for Atlanta.
MIR. Engesser went to Atlanta some
time ago to enter hospital for treat
ment for appendicitis. Upon exami-
nation the hospital physicians dis
covered that the trouble was cancer
of the stomach. An immediate oper-
alton was deemed necessary and was
performed. and from the effects OF
which he has not yet recovered.
''Sim'' as he is known here has
many friends who Will be sorry to
learn OF the seriousness of his case,
but hope for better news from him
soon.
Meeting OF Horticultural Society.
The eighteenth annual meeting of
the Florida State Horticultural So
ciety will be held in Jacksonville,
commencing the evening of the 9Th
of May and continuing the 10th, 11th
and 18th.
The Jacksonville board of trade has
extended to the society the use of
their magnificent auditorium in which
to hold their meetings, and are pre-
pairing to entertain the members in
their usual liberal and hospitable
manner.
The transportation companies have
made rate of one fare, plus 25c for
the round trip, but members must
have a certificate of membership
which is furnished by the society, TO
surrender TO the ticket agent before
the ticket will be issued at the re-
duced rate. So it behooves members
to write early for their certificates,
which can be had by sending 81 to
the secretary, Mr.. E. o. Painter,
jacksonville, Fla.
The Ocala banner., 1905-04-28
NEITHER SIDE MON
Usetobes and Neverwases Play Ben
eft Game-SmalI Attendance

Before a very small crowd the two
local baseball teams played ball Fri
day afternoon for the benefit of
the Cemetery association
The teams were more evenly
matched than i'll the previous game,
and when the game was called at the
end of the sixth inning the score
stood nine to nine.
The game was very interesting, and
hits and errors abOunded. Two of
the Usetobes, Messrs. Welch and
Chambers, were forced TO leave the
game on account of accidents, and
substitutes had to be called upon.
In the first inning it looked as if
the Neverwases would be able TO win
hands down. Five men circled the
bases IN that inning, while the Use
tobes were only able TO send around
two.
Neither side scored in the second
The third inning added one more for
the Neverwases and two for the Use
tobes In the fourth the younger men
scored twice, but the others were not
able to move their peg.
The Neverwases tailed one more
in the fifth inning, making nine in
all. In the same inning the UsetObes
came within one run of tying the
score. This they did in the sixth
inning when the game was called.
The score:
NeverWaSeS S5 5012 l 0-9
USetObeS q o 0 1-6
Umpire-GeO. K. Robinson.
The Ocala banner., 1905-04-28
Cholera and Diarrhoes Remedy for
Bowel Complaint in Children.

1--WE have used Chamberlain's Coilc
Cholera and DiarrhOea Remedy in
our family for years." Mrs. J. B,
Cooke, of EederIands, Texas. I'VE
have gwen it to all of our children.
We have used other medicines for
the same purpose, but never found
anything to equal Chamberlain's. If
you Will use it as directed it Will al
ways cure. For sale by Anti-monOp-
oily drug store. N
The Ocala banner., 1905-04-28
Home Made

Have your cake, mullins, and tea bis
cult homemade. They will be fresher,
cleaner, more tasty and wholesome.
Royal Baking Powder helps the house
wife to produce at home, quickly and eco
nomically, fine and tasty cake, the raised
hot-biscuit, puddings, the frosted layer
cake, crisp cookies, crullers, crusts and
mullins, with which the ready-made food
found at the bake-shop or grocery does
not compare.
Royals the greatest of bake-day helps.
NEW
The Ocala banner., 1905-04-28
Health IS Youth.

Disease and Sickness Bring Old
Age. Herbine, taken every morning
before breakfast, will keep you in
robust health, fit you to ward off di-
seases 1t cures constion, biliousness.
dyspepsia. fever skin, liver and blood
and clears the complexion. Mrs. D.
w. Smith, Whitney, Tex. writes
April 8, 1902: s. have used Herbine.
and find it the best medicine for
constipation and liver trouble. for Il
The Ocala banner., 1905-04-28
FrightfuI Suffering Relieved.

Suffering frightfully from the viru-
lent doisons of undigested food, c. g..
Grayson, of Lula, Miss, took DIR.
Kings New Life Pills, with the re-
sult,'' ne writes, "rhat l was cured. i"
All stomach and bowel disorders give
way to their tonic, laxative proper
ties. 25c. at Tydings & Co.'s drug
store, guaranteed. n