The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-02-26
Only Few Genuine IdIers.

Alas, Men who can take good care
OF millions are not only scarce, but
smart: and there is always the chance
that they will decide that they can
take better care of the millions by
making them their own. Thus the
career of the true idler, who really
and cOnscientiOuSly does nothing
nothing at all is almost sure to be
brief. Its duration is determined
purely by the number of millions that
need be converted from his possession
into that of more industrious if not
better men
Even if the money lasted. the aver
age idler would have TO cut his career
As an idler short in sheer self-defense
after a few years at most for in the
not utterly unwise design of the world
il was arranged that idling makes a
man ten times as tired as twenty times
the same amount of work
There are some few folk who appear
10 be able to idle indefinitely without
iii effects, but they are vegetables. and
would be quite as happy if they were
tramps.
There really are not many American
millionaire idlers; the true type is as
rare as the American bison. Some
times you may think that you have
found a perfect specimen, but hardly
90 you study him closely before you
find that he has some highly important
UnimpOrtant occupation. avocation
fad or delusiOn that keeps him as busy
and even worried as if he were trying
10 earn SO week by the sweat of his
brow.
When a genuine. absolutely pure
specimen is found, he can always
be spotted by his melancholy. far
away appearance, cOmpelHngly like
that of the unhappy adjutant bird His
bearing is essentially that of the men
who have a blighted future lying be-
hind them.
Not Much Fun in 1t.
Poor thing. he hasn't much fun in
life. His exclusive circle is so small
compared with the large and interest
ing though undignified affairs of our
ruder world; his clubs are so ma jestic
and pervaded with the grave-like quiet
Of a good asylum; his friends are so
intensely well-bred: his valet is so
tcTrifyingly like a trained nurse. his
money can buy him only so much
more pomp than fun, that he is almost
to be congratulated when. at last the
remOrseless process of separating him
from the money has been finished.
The writer once knew a real million
aire idler. He was a Smith. and
through several generations before he
graced the world a lot of other Smiths
had enjoyed themselves immensely
making much money. Then they died
and left it TO him. although he had
never zone anything 10 ndrm them
He rose to the occasion and became
Il genius at idiing.
At ten in the morning he vawned
his way into wakefulE ess. T5y a quar-
Ger past he usually had mastered
enough energy to reach out and push
the ivory button TO summon his
man"
During the process of dressing he
absorbed the news of the day in min
ute doses.
II saw Mr. Yesterday sir -
the valet would venture. Yes. sir.
He had on sack suit with four but
tons. sir. that was quite a delicious
color. yes. sir"
MY soul. you don't tell me. James,,
vas the interested response of Million
aire Smith.
Yes. sir. And Mr. -'s man
tells me that they are going to have a
new auto, sir. Violet body. thirty
horse, and guaranteed to 90 faster
than yours. sir. Yes. sir
My soul, you don't tell me- Janes,"
Yes. sir. And the bootual1er
would like TO know when he shall call
Oh you. sir"
MY souI, you don't tell me. james,"
Yawning His Way Out.
At noon Smith. millionaire. arrayed /
with exquisite correctness. yawned his I
way forth into the avenue and |