The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-13
HUMOR OF THE DzY

i HUMOR OF THE DAY
There goes a man who believes in ex-
cessive drinking.
He doesn't snow Il.
oh, he doesn't drink
He sell; H."-Rfilwaulee Sentinel
Naggsby-what is the cause of all this
rioting in Japan?
Komura made peace with the Russians
instead of going in and making pieces Of
them.-Ba1t1more American.
Woman just dropped dead in the bar
gain crush at the ribbon counter! cried
the floor walker e1citedly.
How inopportuner' exclaimed the head
of the firm. ''Our undertaking department.
won't be opened until next Monday '-Hx-
change.
You look downcasg old man" 80.
Hoamley to marry me, and she fixed the
day way off in the last week Of June"
70 never mind, the time will pass quick
YES, that's what worries me."-Phila-
deIphia Press.
where's that funny cap with the ear
flaps you used to wear last year2
'.Weel, sir, 1 havna worn it sin the ae-
What accident was that. Donald2"
"A shintilman asked me to haze a drink
The poet wrote and wrote and wrote.
Turned out at most amazing rate
His daily lyrics. still remote
From fame, denied by cruel fate.
One morn he woke and felt elate,
For fame had found him W hoop! ne saw
With feelings of profoundest awe,
His poems in the boiler plate.
Portland OregOnian.
Mamma, if that Kendall boy hits me
again I'll smash his face for him.
Why Robbie, you mustn' t say sueh aW-
Il wouldn't say it, ma. if 1 wasn't sure
he had moved away!'-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
DO you think could get an audience
with the boss2' asked the political hanger
yes snapped the disappointed office
seeker, coming out, If you featured MIN
Man "-Philadeiphia Press
Though CromwelI's plan was pretty good.
A girls is simpler yet;
She puts her trust in Providence,
And keeps her powder Vet
Diamonds are becoming moro expensive
every year said the caller.
Yes" answered young Mr. Torlxins,
land, judging from what Charley says, SO
are hearts, clubs and spades. Washing
ton Star.
There is only one place on earth worse
a
that is a town in Indian Territory called
Wybark. It is composed entirely of ne
groes, and they don't allow a white man
railroad station reads as follows. "Mr.
White Man. don't let the sun set on you
herei' And the white man doesn t.--SeW
York Press.
1t is claimed that a New York man while
seated at a table in a Chicago restaurant
the other day grasped his knife in his left
hand and ate pie with it. He will proba-
" known nothing about Chicago save
what he had read in books and was en-
deavoFing to act upon the theory that
when in Rome one should do as Rome
dOes.-Chicago Record-Eerald.
You cant imagine" said the musical
young woman, how distressing it is when
4 singer realizes that she has lost her
Perhaps not" replied the plain man.
but I've got fair idea how distressing
it is when she doesn't realize it.'-Chicago
Journal
Met scribblerus the other day. says ne
is going to give up writing poetry and go
Not such a great change: he never
could manage to make his meter work
right. Baltimore American
willie viii you tell your sister 1 am
here?"
say she wasn't home, but knew you
wouldn't give me a dime If ] told you
that Willie got the dime.-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The Southern Druggist digs up what it
calls some queer orders received by 4 To-
cal druggist 81 Here is a sample spcci-
men;
..One bottle Sister Jen's Tablets"
"a bottle of household pneumonia"
More fieud tablets"
''Ten cranes clio the hydrant for sleep"
rs Mr.. Davis a man Of high breeding?'
He is, indeed. Why, the other day he
raised his hat to me when he knew he
hadn't his wig on."-Judge.