The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-01-07


is bliss? He (naively)-Why? She
You seem SO happy.-Yale Record.
MELLOW do you like my new pho
tograph? Bell-Lovelyl l never should |
have known that it was you.-somcr-
vile Journal
Book Agent-Now. sir. can I sell
you an encyclopedia. Old John-Noa,
l don't think so. I'm tew old to ride
now.--Punch.
He-After all, you know, there's
nothing to beat good musical COM
edyl She (hesitating)-No; except.
perhaps, akspeare.-Exchange
Goodwin hear you gave twenty
FIVE dollars to help repair the church
Graspit-You have been misinformed
merely subscribed that amount
Chicago News.
Friend-Why do you allow your
daughter to bang the piano so hardl
Papa-I'm hoping she'll either sprain
her wrist or bust the Instrument
Chicago News
80 you were at Mrs. Marrable's
dinner yesterday, Flossie. What was
the menu likeY II really can't tell
you, for l didn't take any. It's a thing
very seldom toch."
Teacher suppose you know, Har-
~, that in keeping you after school
punish myself as we'll as your Harry
Yes, MN; that's why 1 don't mind
it.-Boston Transcript.
mo, 1 won't give you a piece OF my
apple" snapped his sister. You mean
thingPP said the boy. Wasn't 1t ME
that spoiled the piano, so that you
didn't have to practice for a weekr'
Ernie-Gussie sapp says If 1 refuse
him he will go away and join either
the Japanese or Russian army. Belle
Then accept him. Those nations
have enough trouble already.-Chi-
cago News.
Harold-Did your charity ball real
lie anything for charityf Dolly-Weil,
rather. Old Jabez Gotrox sat In a
draught, got pneumonia. died next day
and left ten thousand dollars to an or
4 phan asylum.-Puck-
Miss Peppery-She says you appear
to have a habit Of telling all you know
Cholly-Fawncyl Why l nevah me
her till lawst evening, and then only
: for FIVE minutes. Miss Peppery-
Well?-Philadelphia Ledger.
:, Yes, he began here as an ofic'
= boy" And, l suppose, mastered ev
cry detail of the business, so that b,
s could take charge of the great estab
lishment." mo, he married the senio
I partners ghter."-Exchange
Simpson-Williams has always
= good supply of nice fresh eggs. How
does he get them? Thompson-Hi
neighbors all keep fowls and neve
lock their fowlhouse doors. Simpson
IS All, 1 seel Poached eggs, Ell?
y shall l get off this end of the carr
% said a lady to the conductor on
Santa Fe train the other day. as
Z pulled into Topeka. lust suit YOU
self. madam" said the conductol
4 both ends Topeka Capital.
The Parson-I intend to pray tha
N you may forgive Casey for havin
70 thrown that brick at you. The Patier
-Mebbe yer riv-rence 'ud be savin
" tonne If ye'd just wait till Oh git we
an then pray for Casey.-Brookly
Life.
'l HE poses as reformer, doesn
~ hep "Oh, he's worse than a reforr
d er. His ideas would upset the who
'l social and business world. He says
a. he had his way he'd put In jail ever
1t body who ought to be there. Phil
&c delphia Press.
= You can't keep a good man down
:. said the boarder who has mania f.
quotations. "Unless," observed Il
- fiuffy-haired girl who typewrites l.
- cause she needs the money. he has
~, seat in a crowded car. Then you car
get him up."-Chicago News.
es Mrs. Jones-I think it's the mo
rs ridiculous thing to call that man
Id the bank teller" Mrs. Johnson
Whv1 Mrs. Jones-Because he slmp
won't tell at all. l asked one tod
- how much my husband had on depo'
'sTr.. there, and he just laughed.-Tit-Bi
Oc- Young Lady-You are a wonderf
master Of the piano, hear. Profess
~ Won Spieler (hired for the occasion)-
TO- blay aggompaniments zometim
d. Young neutrality-suspicious. to sir
Of ing? Professor Won Spieler-Aggo
m paniments to gonversations.-N'
NC York Weekly.
Mrs. Albee-Of course, you marri
in Mr. Rebee for lover Mrs Bebee-W,
A. yes, l suppose you would call it tn
OF l married him to protect him from
less than three widows in our sire
as II l hadn't snapped him up, one
tut them would have been sure to get hi
I'm Boston Transcript.
u Senior Partner-What title shall
Id. give our new beauty book? Jun
IN Partner-How would How to Beco
ed Beautiful" do? Senior Partner-Do
believe that would make a hit W
es- most women. Junior Partner-Tt
wen call it How to Continue Be
tiful." Senior Partner-Ah, that's
1T stuff l-Pittsburg Post.
lT That was a splendid back fall J
. made in your death scene last nigf
remarked a young member of
company to the eminent tragedi
The latter looked at the tiatterer W
,X a suspicious glare. Yes he 81
= land I'd like to lay my hands on
- Z - Cd.