davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Holbrook argus., 1905-02-04
MlsCHlEvOUs WOOD RATS.
Thieves That Steal Things for Which
 They Have No Use.

They Have No Use.
 "Neotoma cinerea" ther fright ening name for the merry little scamp cross-bred between monkey for mis- chief and squirrel for gamboling, which turns night into day in the farm houses in the hills.
 If he would but behave himself, especially at night, for one, would not lift stick to him in anger He is pretty, brown, larse-eyed, clean furred, huffy-tailed little fellow. He finds, does not make, the holes by which he climbs into your house. He has the funniest taste for amassing and hiding things, and at night he practices his gymnastics with his fam fly.
 Our farm house the other side of the Coast Range is a two-storied, cedar built and shingle-covered structure. sixty feet long, with an attic open the whole length of the building. The wood rats would pack an apple of two up between the double walls of the house, into the attic. Then, as you lay in bed, just below, you could hear, or fancy you heard, the apple rolled to one end and the whole troop set in line for a start at the other, then at the word "go' off they went, helter skelter, over the sounding board of a floor for the apple, chorus of squeak ings, and try it all over again. have fallen asleep many time to that accompaniment. So long as they keep between the walls they are safe. Some times they found a big mouse hole out into the kitchen. That was too bold, and a general call was passed and chivy of white-shirted boys and men, from room to room, by lantern light, followed, with MT. Woodrat an easy first, unless by i'll luck he got cornered, and that was an end of him.
 Watches had to be taken to bed to be safe, but one morning we caught one robber making off with gold eye glasses. In one hoard under the stairs in neighbours house were found a foot rule, a pair of opera glasses, pair of gloves, roll of lace, q screw driver, pair of silk stockings, some screws, a photograph, with an apple or two. So was a Chinese boy saved from pun ishment on circumstantial evidence.
 Another time we set out POO cabbage plants in the garden in front of the house. In the morning we found 100 of them pulled up and piled in heaps at the ends of the long rows. Our Scotch ranch hand slept on bed in a corner of the big upstairs dormitory. His tangled yellow hair was a great attraction to the woodrats He told us they often wake him up stretching through the cracks in the cedar boards by his bed head and grabbing his hair for nest lining. At the ordinary trap they just laugh. But we caught sev- eral by setting the trap close to one of the floor beams in the attic, throw. ing a cloth loosely over it, and mar rowing the race course at that point by a couple of boxes placed on either side of the trap. When the race came off the leading rat jumped the beam and pumped into the trap. Then rose chorus of squeals.-Portland Ore gonian.
Holbrook argus., 1905-02-04

"'Vlea as a blrd,'" read the big sis ter from her little brothers exercise book. "Why, Tommy, you don't spell the word correctly. It should be f-l-e-e.'"
 But the teacher said that flee" meant going somewhere else in a hur- ", and a flea is always doing that" -Chicngo Trihnne
Holbrook argus., 1905-02-04
Clerical Jolt.

She was wealthy and consequently a target for much flattery.
 "Is it sin," she asked her spiritual adviser, ito take pleasure in having people call me beautiful"
 "Of course it is, my child" replied the good old parson. Tt is always wicked to encourage falsehOod."
Holbrook argus., 1905-02-04
A Blow to His Honor.

Little Harold approached his mother and asked, Mamma, haven't I been a good boy since l began going to Sunday schoolW
 "Yes, dear, you have" answered the fond mother.
 "And you trust me now, don't you, ma?"
 "Why, of course do."
 "Then why do you keep the pies locked up in the pantry just the same as ever?' Nuggets.
Holbrook argus., 1905-02-04

Towne-My objection to these French restaurants is the difficulty or understanding what the menu says. I es; some of them are hard enough even to spell.
 Browne-Well, my experience is that most of them spell indigestion-Phila delDha Press
Holbrook argus., 1905-02-04
She'd Hooked It Up All Right

Teacher-Have you looked up the meaning of the word "imbibes," Fanny !? Fanny-Yes, ma'am.
 Teacher-Well, what does it mean? Fanny-To take in.
 Teacher-Yes. Now give sentence using the word.
 Fanny-My aunt imbibes boarders.- Woman's Home Companion.
Holbrook argus., 1905-02-04
Proper Classification.

Rastus-What kin ob CT dog am dat, Miss Snowfall?
 Miss Snowball-Dat am expectora- shun dog
 Eastus-What do yo' all mean by dat :? Miss Snowbali- Why, he am a spitz.
Holbrook argus., 1905-02-04
Too Close Quarters.

Sweet Girl Gin photograph gallery)-I wish you wouldn't put that big camera so close to me.
 Photogra apher-Don't you want the pie ture cabinet size?
 Sweet Girl-Yes, but don't want the freckles cabinet size.
Holbrook argus., 1905-02-04
Was His Wife ListnIng.

Carter-Do you believe that Friday is unlucky?
 Sinnickson enthusiastically - Not much! 1 was married on Friday Soperville Journal.
Holbrook argus., 1905-02-04
Not So Changeab1e.

Ned-Yes, I heard you were engaged to her, but she's very fickle, old man.
 Dick-I don't believe it.
 Ned-No?
 Dick-No. She told me yesterday that she loved me and to-day she told me the same thing.-Philadelphia Press.
Holbrook argus., 1905-02-04
An Unrortunate Author.

q see Bilkins lost all his money in Wall street that he made on his book" What was the name of hls book?" "It was called "A Guide to Wall Street. '"-Life.
Holbrook argus., 1905-02-04
From Two Views.

Little Girl-Papa, do you love your enemies?
 Wall Street Bear-Yes, dear; I love them so much that sometimes squeeze them almost out of existence. Detroit Free Press.
Holbrook argus., 1905-02-04
A Good Thing,

She-Do you think there is anything In palmistry?
 He-Yes, for some people.
 She-Who, for instance?
 He-For the fellow that gets the money for looking at somebody's else hand!-Illinois State Journal.
Holbrook argus., 1905-02-04
One Way.

"A troop of Japs have gone to the front with cameras"
 What for?'
 "To take Port Arthur. r."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Holbrook argus., 1905-02-04
Nothing Serious.

Him-Is it true that you are en- gagged to young Higgins?
 Her-No; merely had an option on him during our sojourn at the sea- shore.
Holbrook argus., 1905-02-04
First Aid.

"The new doctor always goes out to see his patients in an automobile"
 But why does he carry an assist ant?"
 "Oh, the assistant attends to the people the automobile runs down."
Holbrook argus., 1905-02-04
His Sphere.

Frend-Do you never take a vaca. tion, doctor?
 Doctor-Very seldom. Pm kept busy all summer doctoring people who have been taking vacations.-puck.
Holbrook argus., 1905-02-04

George H. Williams, Mayor of Port land, Ore, S2 years old, was Attorney General in Gen. Grants cabinet and United States Senator.
Holbrook argus., 1905-02-04

Finnegin-Th' doctor tells me Oi'm in made av glasses Pfwat's tn cost2
 Optician-Do you want nose glass; es?
 Finnegin-Shure an it's eye glasses Oi want Oi cant see tro' me nose, kin Oi?
Holbrook argus., 1905-02-04

Relieving Others from Suspicion.
 Author proudly)-This poem is en. tirely original.
 Editor (after looking through the manuscripD-It's certainly very gener. ous of you to take the whole responsi. bility.-Somerville Journal.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-10-26
REFORM IN MUTUAL.
Board of Directors Names n Committee
 to Investigate.

New York; Oct 25.-The affairs of the Mutual Life Insurance Company are to be investigated by committee of three members of the Board of Trustees. A resolution providing for such an in- vestigatlon as a result of the testimony before the Legislative Investigating Committee was offered for consideration by the board today by Richard A. Mc- Curdy, President of the company, and was unanimously adopted. The mem bers of the committee are William A. Truesdale, Eflngham B. Morris and John W. Auchinloss.
 At the close of the meeting at which this action was taken, the following statement was given out by the direc- tlon of President McCurdy:
 .'The President called attention to the inquiry by joint committee of the Leg islature of the State of New York into the affairs of the company and to the widespread public interest and comment with respect thereto.
 He urged that the Board should take coRnizance of the testimony elicited with a view to such action as might he found advisable in the interests of inc company and its pollcyholders.
 .The President then asked the con- alteration Of the Board to the follow ing resolution:
 "Resolved. That committee of three he. and they hereby are, appointed as q committee to examine into the or- ganization and management of the af.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-10-26
BACK FROM SOUTHWEST.
Representative Maynard Talks of sent
 memt for Statehood.


 naent for Statehood.
 Washington. Oct. 25--tHpeclafA--- Representative Harry Manard, Of Vff- ginia. has just arrived in Washington after an extended trip through the Southwest. during which he visited Arizona and New Mexico in company with Representatives Tawney, Davis and Steenerson. of Minnesota; Madden, of Illinois; Goebel, of Ohio, and Mar shall, of North Dakota.
 We did not go as committee, but in our individual capacity. The people could have given us no warmer recep- ton had we been indeed a committee sent to tell them that they were to have the Territories admitted as States by our Congress.
 "on the question of Statehood" con tinued MT. Maynard, the people in New Mexico seem to be divided; some are heartily in favor of joint Statehood with Arizona. while others contend for separate Statehood. The impression we gained was that New Mexico wants to come into the Union on any terms Congress will prescribe. This is not so with the people of Arizona; they would rather stay a Territory than not to come in as State and as the State of Arizona. From what I saw do not hesitate to say that the Territories are entitled to Statehood. I never saw such prosperity. I believe if admitted by this Congress their population will increase 50 per cent in year after the act of admission.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-10-26
GrNNERs' ASSOCIATION REPORT.
Estimated That Crop Will Re Less
 than NiO,OOO,OOO Bales.


 Dallas, Texas, Oct. 25.-The following is a synopsis of the report of the Ma tional Ginners' Association made pub lie today:
 From reports received we estimate the amount of cotton ginned to October IS, to be between 4'4sAooO and 4.boo'OoO bales.
 These reports show about 46 per cent of the crop ginned and indicate crop of under 10000, 900 bales The reports are as follows:
 Alabama. glnned up to october IS. this year, 593.360, against eSS,140 last year. About 20 per cent. of the cotton been sold since the decline. seed aver age SIP net.
 Arknr sas ginned 12o, 900 against 245.- 527 last year, crop 40 per cent. less than last year. Seed average S1i.eo. Holding very little corn.
 Florida, einned Ss.724 against 3s.724 last year. Crop 3s per cent. shcrt
 Georgia, ginned 1,023,30O, against 1.O1s, 900 last year. Crop 23 per cent. short of last year. About 50 per cent. of cotton being held for 10 and II cents since recent decline. Seed average sf3.5O per ton.
 Indian Territory. ginned 6s.sO0 bales against lfs.27O last year. Crop 31 per cent short of last year. Very lit- tie being held. Seed average S1O.
 Louisiana, ginned 144.750 bales against 17s.27O last year Crop 31 per cent. short Of last year. Very little being held. Seed average $i0.
 Mississippi, ginned 225,Ss0 bales against 569.456 bales last year. Crop 3S per cent short of last year. Thirty per cent. of cotton being held for 10 to II cents. Seed $12.50 per ton.
 Missouri, ginned 5000 bales against 1i.075 last year. Crop 21 per cent less than last year. Seed S12 per ton. No cotton held.
 North Carolina. ginned 306.00O bales against 2S9.000 last year Crop Is 23 per cent. more than last year. Some holding for 10 and II cents. Seed aver age s14.5e.
 oklahoma, ginned s2,00O against 1O2,- o9l last year: crop 2l per cent. short of Hast year. Seed $10 per ton.
 South Carolina ginned 5S4, 900 against s0T .ess bales last year. Crop 24 per cen-. short of last year. About 70
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-10-26
CHILEAN REIGN OF TERROR.
Conditions Now More Quiet-FifteeI
 Persons Killed Monday.

Conditions Now More Quiet--Fifteen
 Persons Killed Monday.
 Washington, Oct 25.--The State De- partment today received a cablegram from Santiago de Chile. stating that the reign of terror said to have exist ed In that city since Monday Is pass ing and conditions were quieter yes- terday, the casualties Monday number ing fifteen killed and 100 wounded,
 Details of the occurrences of October 22 and 23, the days on which the dis- turbances reached high water mark showed the situation to have been more serious than dispatches hitherto re- ceived would indicate.
 Sunday afternoon a public meeting of 25.000 people was held on the Ala meda, which soon degenerated into a mob and free fight ensued between the police and the crowd. Windows were broken and twenty street cars demolished, six lives were lost and sew eraf hundred rioters were imprisoned Monday morning. On account of the riots the whole city was in a state of terror on Monday, the street cars stop ped running and business generally was at a standstill
 In the afternoon of Monday the mob gathered again on the Alameda and against the government building and residence of the President, but both were well guarded by the police. Three thousand troops at last accounts were on their way to the capital to re- inforce the police and the departments informant remarks that there seemed on Monday no danger of a further se- rious outbreak, although the rioters continued to surge around the streets near the Alameda.
 The cause of the outbreak is said to have been dissatisfaction over the high cost of meat. Owing to the tariff on Argentine beef prices have advanced while wages remained low Petitions were adopted which were presented to the President who promised to do what he could to relieve the situation. News comes that the American legation was safe throughout the disturbances.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-10-26

fairs of the company and to report from time to time to this board their re- commentators in reference thereto with power to add to their number and to fill vacaDcies'
 The resolution was then moved by a member of the Board with the ad- ditional suggestion that Messrs. Trues- dale, Morris and Auchincloss constitute the committee, and was unanimously adopted.
 The committee will proceed at once to discharge Its functions and to report speedily to the Board
 Richard A. Mccurdy,
 President" The three men named occupy promi- nent places in financial and business circles. John w. Auchihcloss. a New York city merchant. in addition to the Mutual, is identified with several other large corporations in the capacity of di- rector. William A. Truesdale Is Pres ident of the Delaware. Lackawanna and Western Railroad. and also is oficer or director of several other corpora tions. His home Is in Greenwich, Conn. Eflngham B. Morris, lawyer and finan cier, is president of the Girard Trust Company of Philadelphia, and is ident- flied with several corporations as dfrec- tor
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-10-26
Insurance Men DIscharxed.

Chicago, Oct. 25.-General Manager E. l. Rosenfeld. President George M . Moulton and Ed Moore. members of the Board of Directors of the Western Life Indemnity Company, were today dis charged from rule to show cause why they should not be held in contempt of court. Federal Judge KohIsaat in entering the order of discharge inti- mated that he is not entirely satisfied with the examination concerning the Western Life Company's purchase of stock in the Security Life and Annuity company. but added that inasmuch as there was no showing of intentional disregard of the court orders or any actual contempt of court, the defend- ants could be discharged.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-10-26

per cent of cotton being held. Since recent decline will sell at 10 to Il cents. Seed average $1450 per ton.
 Tennessee ginned 52.000 bales against s1,776 bales last year. Crop 2e per cent short of last year. Large plant CTS holding. Seed SIS per ton.
 Texas. ginned 1.2T2.S0o bales against 2,205,1S6 bales last year. Crop 2s per cent short of last year.
 Virginia, ginned 3,fs0 bales against 4.s4a bales last year. Crop 19 per cent. short of last year.
 The crop is about two weeks earlier than last year In rarts of North Caro- lima, nearly all of South Carolina, Geor- gia and Florida. south half of Alabama. south and southwest Texas, while 1t Is one to three weeks late in the balance of Texas. Indian Territory, Arkansas, Louisiana. Mississippi with Missouri. Tennessee. Virginia. Oklahoma about the same as last year.
 Crop is so to 90 per cent. ginned in south half of telt. 25 to 50 per cent. in balance of belt. Very light top crop and recent frosts killed top plants in low lands in northern part of belt
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-10-26
McGAHA IS NOT IRISH
COLONEL BryINs's CHOICE OF A
 MESSENGER.
Chief Clerk of InternnI Revenue Bu- reau Once Laughed at Logan Carr lfsfe for Making Similar
 Mistake.

Washington, Oct 25--(SpeciaI. )-- If the famous executive order by Pres- ident Roosevelt of Oct. IT, giving the power of removal with hearing to cab met officers and himself should be ex- tended to bureau chiefs. it would save embarrassments and afford relief to the heads. of many divisions and offices in the departments. The civil service methods of furnishing new employees sometimes works surprises that are anything but agreeable. 1t is an in- cident of accident that not always is the man chosen for a job just the kind :. Some fun las been had isereF lately at the expense of John T. Bivins, chief clerk of the internal revenue bureau. who. being in need of a messenger for the bureau, called upon the civil ser vice commission to certify man for appointment. A small list. containing three "eligibles." was furnished Colo nel Bivins. Che of them had the name of Richard A. McGaha. and in the fam cy of the colonel he saw the owner of the name as a rosy checked, good na- tured Irishman. the very kind for a messenger. The day after Colonel Bly, ins signified his preference, hls appoin- tee appeared and announced himself as Richard A. McGaha. of Mississippi, and ready for duty, McGaha was sworn in. Colonel Bivins used to laugh at Logan Carlisle for making the same mistake.
 partment under Secretary John G. Car tisle, his father. A messenger was needed. and Mir. Carlisle, looking over a list. picked out for his man one nam ed Dennis Murphy, and imagined, did MT Carlisle. that he could hear the rich brogue of Mir. Mufphy as he wish ed him the top O the marnin'" when he came to his daily duties. Dennis Murphy. instead of ruddy. pink and white Hibernian, turned out to be one of the blackest negroes ever born in South Carolina. Richard McGaha, of Mississippi. the new messenger for Colonel Bivins. is of the same hue.
 Colonel Bivins. be 1t remembered, is quite proud of his Irish descent; but he is not as confident as formerly of his pathological precedence.
 R. H. Watkins.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-10-26
KEY PREsIpENTs AIDE.
Another Son of Confederate HOnOred
 nv Mir Roosevelt

Washington. Oct. 25.--(Special.)- Another son of Confederate soldier, a young officer of the navy, is to do duty at the White House as one of the Presidents aides.
 The distinction this time falls to Lieutenant Commander Albert Lenoi Key. He is a son of the late David M. Key of Tennessee, the last cabinet of ficer from the South in a Republican administration and who died while OH the Federal Bench. Thus the Presi- dent accords recognition, with Lieu tenant Fitzhugh Lee and Lieutenant Commander Key, to both the army and navy of the United States. in persons of the sons of Confederate officers.
 Lieutenant Commander Key has been fifteen years in the service, his last duty being as executive officer of the battleship Wisconsin. of the Asiatic station. R. H. Watkins.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-10-26
COMMITTEE ON PRINTING.
Decides to Begin the Taking of Testi
 mODy TOdny

Washington, Oct. 25-Representatives Landis and Perkins, constituting ma- tority of the subcommittee of tho joint committee of the two houses of Con- gress on printing, appointed to inves- ttgate the question of surplus pubIica- tiors by the Government Printing Off, flee. held d preliminary meeting today and decided to begin the taking of tes- timony tomorrow.
 Senator German. the third member of the substitute committee. was not pres- ent at today's meeting. but he has in- formed the other members that he hopes to sit with them later in the pro- Ceedtngs
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-10-26
Negro Bnptlst. Meet sD Ch,c.xo

Chicago, Uct. 25.-The TWenty-flfth Annual Session of the Baptist Con- vention of Negro Baptists opened here today with 3.000 delegates in attend ance. The session today was devoted to addresses of welcome and responses. Mayor F. Dunne said he welcomed the delegates to "a city that is trying to give fair play to all the people regard less of race or color" Rev. E w. Isaacs. editor of the National Baptist of Nashville, Tenn. responded to the address.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-10-26
VETERANS OF THE CRATER.
Old Confederates Hold Encampment al
 Petersburg.

Petersburg. Va, Oct. 25.--The city Is in gala attire for the meeting of the grand camp of Virginia Confederate Veterans and the annual reunion of Virginia division. Sons of Confederate Veterans, which began a three days nation of the city will be a feature An interesting event will be a reproduc- ton of the historic battle of the Crater Thursday.
 The camp has invited all surviving ex-Confederate soldiers who partici- pated in the battle to be present
 During the reunion. Governor Mon- tague and representative Lamb will pre- sent the battle flags which have been returned by the United States Govern ment to the commands which carried them in the Civil War.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-10-26
Hnrroun Found GuIIty.

St. Joseph, Mo. Oct. 24.-W. H. liar roun, charged with having forged s7OO,- 900 worth of bills of lading and obtain ing money on them was found guilty by jury at $40 tonight and the penal ty fixed at i've years in the penitentia- ry, The forgeries were committed about year ago and were principally on Burlington Route bills of lading.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-10-26
sT. sERNnBAs GUILD.
Bishop Whitehead ts Again Elected
 Chanlafn General

OnNphUHm McnerUi.
 Charleston, S, C., Oct 2S.-Business sessions occupied a greater portion of the time of the St. Barpcbas Guild del egates today. An address full of en- couragement and good advice was de- livered at the opening in St. Mfchaefs parish hall by Bishop whitehead, chap lain general, this morning. after which Bishop Capers of South Carolina, offi- cially welcomed the members.
 Reports of the General Secretary and General Treasurer Indicated a healthy increase in finances and membership. The continuance of the Neems Letter. official organ. was advised
 At the annual election Bishop White head of Pittsburg. was chosen to suc- ceed himself as Chaplain General, Miss Clarke. of Orange, N J., Recording Secretary: Mrs. William Read Howe of oras<e N j.. General Secretary, and Miss Sutliff, General Treasurer Many social attentions are being shown the delegates. One more session will be held tomorrow.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-10-26
TAFT WILL NOT BE CANDIDATE.
Does Not Propose to Contest for Nomi-
 nation in 1908.

Washington, Oct. 25.-(speciaI.)- Secretary William II. Taft will not be a candidate for President in 1908. he assured friends today that he is not candidate now, nor does he wish to be regarded as a candidate at any time. His wish. he represents. Is to stay In the cabinet undisturbed In the policies he has 's1dertaken to carry out under the present administration.
 R. H. Watkins.