davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08
CIRCUS PERFORMERS.
To Them the Circus Is a Very se-
rious Affair.

To circus people the circus Is very
serious thing. When bareback rider
slips TO the ground after somersauit
or lofty tumbler misses the shoulder
II is his business to land on the audi
ence is all sympathy, as II feeling It
self how it is to fall before 50 many
people. Very little the performer cares
for all the vast multitude. His mind
IS on the superintendent, his particular
superintendent, who Is watching him
st the side of the arena, and who, when
he goes OFF, Is sure TO ask very pointed
iy how his eye happened to be mac
eurate or his muscles infirm. There Is
no place In the circus for performers
who fail
Even the clowns look Il little bit seri-
GUS behind the scenes. But perhaps
that is only because the black lines
they paint ON their whitened yisages
are always SO glum and solemn. And
what wilderness of fun making peo-
pie there are In the latter day circus
the Pumpkin, the Loon, the Harlequin,
the Grimacer the Merry Andrew, tho
AHslIluIl l-Oppyt lHe LaHN, lHe t1cTTOlt
the Punch. the Motley Fool and finally
the German Broad Face, whose name
is Paddy Burke! One of the clowns
was sitting on his trunk In the dress
ing room licking Il stick of black paint
aud rubbing II on his cheeks 50 as to
make n most funereal expression The
small boy asked him what kind of a
clown he was. He said that he was
just Funny Friskey," and he got his
visiting card out of his trunk 1t read,
III. Frlskey, Clown and Comedian"
and 1t had heavy gold rim, which
made it very imposing. In the four
corners It said Europe and Asia and
Africa and America which showed
that IL. Friskey's fame had reached
the four corners of the card. Until you
saw his merry capers in the ring you
never could believe that man with
such serious face and such an Inn
posing visiting card could be either
funny or frisky.-Metropolitan Maya
zine
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08
TOOthache.

Toothache IL something to be dread
ed. Until n dentist can be consulted
and the exact cause Of the disturbance
located md professionally treated 1t is
an excellent thing to moisten the finger
and. after dipping 1t into some bicar-
Donate Of soda. rub 1t on the gum round
the sore tooth. 1t Is also relief to
mix a teaspoonful of this bicarbonate
OF soda in half glass OF warm water
and rinse the mouth with some every
little while. holding little In the
mouth for few seconds so that 1t
penetrates all the crevices. The soda,
being nm alkall, serves to neutrallze the
acids in the mouth, which are often the
cause of toothache.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08
TRUTH OR PARADOX?

Life levels all men; death reveals the
eminent.
Liberty means responsibility. Tint
Is why most men dread 1t.
While we hive prisons 1t matters lit
tie which of us occupy the cells.
Titles distinguish the mediocre, EN-
barrass the superior and are disgraced
by the inferior.
Democracy substitutes election by the
incompetent many for appointment by
the corrupt few.
Do not do unto others as you would
that they should do unto you. Their
tastes may not be the same.
Your word can never be as good as
your bond because your memory can
never be as trustworthy as your honor.
If you strike child take care that
you strike II iii anger, even at the risk
of manning 1t for life. A blow In cold
blood neither can nor should be forglv'
en.-From George Bernard Shaw's
Man and Superman."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08
ANIMALS Ns,.NUEEINGS.
Country Mouse and Town House Fa-
HE Has Foundation In Fact

hie Illus Foundation tH Fact.
The fable of the country mouse and
tie town mouse has foundation In
fact Mice occasionally migrate in large
numbers when food grows scarce and
travel considerable distances to fresh
houses. Farmers In part of Perth
shire had good reason to become
aware Of this fact when a couple OF
years ago vast swarms of mice invaded
their cornGelds at harvest time
But the mouse only travels when ii
has to. The rat on the contrary, seems
to take yearly outing, In very much
the same fashion rs do buman beings.
Rats are the most migrate. creatures
In the world. Troops of ra,s leave the
towns at the end of summer and spend
a month or two in the country, appar-
emily in order to enjoy the change of
food which the country affords at that
time of the year In the way of fresh
fruit and grain. Before the cold wealth
or sets in they are all back again In
their old quarters.
Reindeer migrate with the same reg
ularity rs swallows. They move south
when winter sets in, but as soon as ev-
er the snow begins to melt they travel
steadily north, sometimes for as much
as n thousand miles.
TO end n holiday by deliberate sui
eide Is so strange Il phenomenon that
for long time naturaists looked upon
the stories of the migration OF the lem
mings rs IN improbable fiction. Yet the
facts are beyond dispute. At irregular
Intervals these ratliie creatures start
out from their homes In the Businesses
of northern Scandinavia In huge droves
numbering tens of thousands and tray
el steadily southwark. Death pursues
them In hundred forms Hawks and
other birds of prey hover above them.
Thousands are drowned in rivers. Yet
the rest struggle on until they reach
the sea. They do not stop. They plunge
In, swim out and struggle on until at
last their strength fails and they
drown. Not one ever returns from this
Journey Of death.-Eondon Answers.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08

MY wife is not always AS consider
ate of my feelings rs she might be-"
says the man who invariably means
well Il went home the other night,
and | could see that was not more
than deuce high with her on account
of-well, no matter what. | was full
up of new theory man had been
imparting to me, and ms | always be
lieye in mans regarding his wife as
his intellectual equal told her about
1t. The man told me that 1t is the
brain that really nourishe5 the hair.
He even went SO far as to say that IL
you pull a hair out you pull out bit
of brain with it. II interested me ex-
ceedingly. My wife just shifted
That's not new she said. 4 found
that out long ago 1t doesn't matter
either whether the hair Is pulled out or
falls out naturally
That's what | get for trying to be
good to that woman. Stung by my
wife"
Here he raisel his hat. He was as
bald as newly plucked esg.-Wash-
ington Post
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08
DESERT SHEEP HERDERS.
Their Lonely, Drenry Life Tends to
Drive Them Crazy.


Drive Them Crazy.
Do you realize what 1t means to
watch 5000 sheep alone In the desert7
You have read weird grewsome stories
of the horror Of the solitary lighthouse
keepers life, but compared to the days
of the Mexican shepherd those of the
average keeper Of the light are filled
with gayety and noise. Even with
their one or two dogs the shepherds
often go Insane, and were 1t not for the
company of their shaggy collies the
lunacy among them would rise to an
almost incredible percentage, II we are
TO believe those who have followed the
sheep in the desert and therefore may
be supposed to know
Once In old Santa Fe n NJ, met a
man who for twelve years had follow
ed the sheep. His work was done. All
day long he sat In n chair In the rear
of little dobe store crouched over,
gibberIng to himself. bleating-an idiot.
He still saw his sheep swaylng like a
great white wave among the sage
brush, and ever In his ears sounded the
killing monotone of their bleats. One
boy, though fifteen years of age, is
mentally no further advanced than the
average child of i've. His father Is
shepherd, his mother died when he was
four years old, and his father took him
out upon the range. All his life has
been spent among the sheep. He Is one
with them today.
How Is 1t possible. then, you ask. that
men are to be found willing to watch
them? Ii Is very easy. Sheep herding
Is n lazy job at best, and the "greaser''
Is the LATEST creature on earth. For $50
a month he Is willing to sit in the sand
and listen to the never ending bleating
until the little mind he has gives way
and they fetch him in from the range
insane. lie Is glad to take the chance
for $40 month.
The greaser is not the only shepherd
In the west. On the vast ranges of Ne
vada and Wyoming you may run across
IN occasional college man tending the
sheep. Once. indeed, Il college professor.
Ill of consumption, undertook to follow
oIoOO iOl tue Al tiu-
tumn they found him insane, on his
hands and knees among the sheep,
bleating with them. Day after day his
eyes behold only brilliant turquoise
sky. In which hangs a sun of brass; an
ocean sweep of sage tiecked sand and
n slowly moving. compact mass of
sheep. His ears hear no sound save the
steady "Baa. baay" day and night, af
fectlng him as the Chinese criminal of
ancient days was affected by the regu-
lar tap, tap of a hidden drum.
And yet SO long as the desert contin-
ues to provide food for the "bleaters"
so long will shepherds go mad among
the tiocks, and for ten years the deserts
greatest value to man has been the
food 1t has offered the sheep, nor yet IL
the store depleted.-Pilgrim.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08

Some Of the greatest discoveries in
physics and chemistry have been made
with the simplest forms Of apparatus
and under the most modest conditions
Of laboratory equipment. One need only
recall the achievements of the famous
John Dalton and In later time of Sir
Gabriel Stokes to Illustrate the point
As regards the latter. comment Of
Lord Rayleigh IL Of interest. Stokes
experimental work, he says, was exc
cuted with the most modest appliances
Many of his discoveries were made In a
narrow passage behind the pantry Of
his house into the window of which he
had a shutter fixed with slit In 1t and
a bracket on which to place crystals
and prlsms.-London Telegraph.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08

A glass of water makes n fine emer-
genCy candlestlck. Weight one end
of the candle with nail just large
enough to hold the candle in the water
30 that the water touches It's top edge.
but does not touch the wick and then
light the candle. 1t Will burn until the
last vestige Of wick Is gone and the
flame will not flicker The melted tai
low that runs down but serves to hold
the candle more stationary Black
smith and Wheelwright
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08

Sword stands came into use In Lon
don churches when 1t became custom
airy to carry the city sword before the
lord mayor as he went to church in
state. During service the sword was
placed in the stand or case provided
for it, and in his own church the lord
mayor generally had the stand placed
conveniently near to or in his family
pew. This custom, which was quite
common before the end of the six
teenth century, apparently began In
the reign of Elizabeth. The state WIS.,
its to the city churches were discontin-
ued in the mayoralty Of Sir X. n. Fow-
Ter, 1sS3.-London Standard.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08

Il bet | get into more trouble than
any man In this state" volunteered the
young fellow who had come In the club
house. Nothing In the trouble line
overlooks me. Why, I'd be afraid to
marry
"What. Amt you married." ejacu-
lated the red nosed elderly party who
was lowering over the gratis lunch.
boy, you don't know what trouble Is"
louisville Courier Journal
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08
Bullying GUN BARRELS.
The Ruin Tint Ia Wrought by Care
less Handling.

less handling.
| have sold guns for ten years and
in that time four of them have had
their barrels bulged, one by snow, one
by dirt, one by sand and one by some
thing else getting into II. One man
crawling through Il fence got n little
SNOW In the muZZle. lie could not re.
move 1t with his finger, so concluded
to wait and shoot ii out. which he did.
but he found Il bulge like II pullet's egg
on the end of the barrel. Another got
some earth In the muzzle and shot 1t
out. and he too, found the same kind
of II bulge on the end of his gun. An
other fired his gun Mt ducks, which
knocked him over on his back and fair
ly got away from him. When he pick
ed up the gun he found n narrow raised
band around the barrel fourteen inches
from the muZzle In this case a wad
had probably lodged there. This Gus
toner thinks the manufacturers ought
to give him new set of barrels. | tell
him If the barrels had not been good
ones It would have been n burst in
stead OF bulge. which might have
MANNED or killed him. Another man ly-
ing on point brought down duck with
Il broken wing which scurrled for the
water. The man ran and struck the
duck with the muZZle of the gun and
in so doing got sand in IT, He blew
most of II out and shot out the rest of
it, Well, after that shot he found n
little blister two inches from the muz
zle about the size OF mans little fin
ger
Moral-Do not shoot Instructions of
any kind out of your gun If you value
your life or gun.-Uncle Dan in ANA
teur Sportsman.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08

The NtckeunrAH OF GrOWtnH Oiu.
Here are the three deadly symptoms
of old age: Seltishness. stagnation, in
tolerance.
If we find them IN ourselves we may
know we are growing old even If we
are on the merry side of thirty. But,
happily. we have three defenses. which
are lnvulnerable. If we use them we
shall die young II we live to be n hun
dred They are: sympathy progress.
tolerance.
The first Is the hardest to most Of
us, because our own little prison Of
the actual Is so immensely important to
us. There Is no denying the fact that
when you have n toothache yourself 1t
Is hard to have to consider other peo-
pies aches But 1t can be done, though
1t generally involves physical effort, for
we must bestir ourselves and act. The
mere feeling of sympathy expressed by
action is poor useless thing, but the
soul. determined not to grow old. can
force the body to such physical effort.
though there is no denying that 1t il
hard work.-Harper's Bazaar.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08
Ancient Eggs In ChInn.

A German epicure comes to the rescue
OF the Chinese in regard to their al
legged habit OF eating rotten eggs. The
eggs, he says, are simply preserved in
lime until they get consistency like
that Of hard butter and tAey taste
somewhat Ike lobster. He declares
them one Of the choicest delicacies he
has ever eaten. He thinks there are
no better cocks In the world than the
Chinese When he went to live among
them his friends predicted he would
starve. but he had good time and
gained weight-more than he wanted
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08
COTTON IN A FABRIC.
How to Tell " Worsted or Wooden
cloths Are AduIternIcd

tIOthh Are AduIterRtcd.
Worstel cloths are less oftea adulter-
ated than woolens and are more easily
detected. \ cotton worsted IS lie on
the face of II, for the cotton lands ont
with prominence. But often cotton
thread Is twisted with worsted
thread, and to determine lis presence
1t IS only necessary to take the twist
out OF the thread and then examine its
component parts.
Cotton, having n long staple, can be
carded and combcd with wool to be
spun into worsted yarn. This is done
to cheaper the cost of production. Cot
ton is carded and spun with wool an |
shoddy. not so much TO cheaper the
yarn, for cotton Is generally as eXpcn-
siye as some shoddies, but is intro
dueed to give strength or spinning
qualities to the stock. In many cases
the shoddy Is of such short staple that
1t would not stand the drawing in
SPINNING. and, as 1t would make the
cost of the yarn too high to put In
enough wool TO give that lacking
strength. cotton Is put In for this pur-
pose.
The percentage of cotton in n fabric
can be determined in this manner:
Take a small piece of cloth and weigh
IT, Now boil it for Ave minutes I'm n 3
per cent solution of caustic soda. Take
out what is left, and, If any, it Is all
cotton. The wool Will all be dissolved.
The percentage of shoddy cannot be de
termined except by experience.
A cloth or yarn with shod'ly In 1t IS
easily detected by It's feel cloth made
of all new wool Is softer feeling than
one containing shoddy. for the latter
has lost that new. soft. springy feel
peculiar to wool-Amerlcan Wool and
Cotton Reporter.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08
THE GRAND DEPOT
Weekly Store News.
Open Monday, Saturday and all Payday Evegs.
We shall close four evenings in the week
until further notice.

We shall now interest the MEN FOLKS and expect the
to do their share making selections excellent judges and
generally consulted by the
$3.50 fine grade Negee Shirts and the 81 grade Shirts what have
left all to 40
so Night Shirts for of best outings front plat neatly embroidered 70
rs e" g" 3" neatly trimmed SO
Ties, designs only 81
a5c Ties, pretty designs only 10
I2lc Half Hose reduced or 8 for 25
FOR THE WOMEN FOLK
Right dress now i,
tune time ready made greatly price
Fescy ribbed Underwear reduced
75c Sacques of down.
g Down.
Dressing o more
$50 Dressing Sacques, trimmed aud Stylish.
Most excellent OATS for womer, misses
half price; it's well nth white ting ua
call and see what offering 81, 3, ~,ih
tina sod in the g5u of tn y son at IL e
dave all viewed beautiful picture the the QuEEN
QUALITY DRE he . evening
DEP show window
limited number OF QUEEN QUALITY DR. Shoes ptcia
low pric early "a will Is
deve from So the regular price of the best shoe the market
D II Won Hox.s1 6. Co..
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08

According TO an engineer, though
there may be every reason present why
n steam boiler should steam there are
occasions when 1t simply VIII not. II
refuses duty and sulks without any
cause that can be detected. On such
occasions every one takes hand at
the fires, but the result is the same
no steam or only enough TO keep three
quarters speed. Marine and stationary
boilers are both thus afflicted There
are good days" and bad days in the
performance OF Chicago News.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08
ISnexx the Crowd.

A street preacher In west OF Scot
land town called a policeman who was
passing end complained about being
annoyed by certain section of the au-
dience and asked him to remove the
Objectionable ones.
''Weel. ye See" replied the cautious
officer. at would be hard job for me
tae spot them. but I'll tell We what I'd
dae If were you"
what would you do?" eagerly in
qulred the preacher.
"Just gaze round WI the hat!'
-.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08
Get Hunx.

The successful man Is usually busy.
and the busy man Is usually success
full. The young man, whatever his VOC
cation, who has not learned to econo-
mize his time and keep busy has not
got the lesson most essential to pros.
porous, useful and happy life.-Chicago
Irlhune
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08
A False Report.

Il have been told" said Mrs. Old
castle that your daughter has been
doing some wonderful things In pyrog-
raphy."
"Oh, no." replied her hostess. ''she
amt been there Mt all The last letter
we had from her she was In Plttsburg
and thought she'd go right through to
Washington. Chicago Record Herald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08
500 Reward, 500

The readers of this paper will be pleased to
learn that there is at least one dreaded dis
ease that science has been able to cure in all
its stages, and that is catarrh. Halls Catarrh
Cure il the only positive cure now known to
the medical fraternity Catarrh being a con-
stitutiOnal disease, requires a constitutional
treatment. Halls Catarrh Cure is taken in
ternally, acting directly upon the blood and
mucous surfaces of the system, thereby de-
stroying the foundation of the disease, and
giving the patient strength by building up
the constitution and assisting nature in doing
its work. The proprietors have so much
faith in its curative powers that they offer
One Hundred Dollars for any case that it
fails to cure. Send for list of testimonials
Address: F. J. CHENEY & CO, To edo, G.
Sold by Druggists, nc.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08
BLACKWELL'S
Insurance Agency
Successor to late Geo NJ Holcomde, decd,
SOLLIDAY BUILDING,
CORNER OF BRIDGE AND UNION STREETS,
LAMBERTvILLE, n. j
REAL ESTATE FOR SALE.

Two Large Manufacturing Plants with power
Eleyen-room House, corner Jefferson and
Clinton streets
Seven-room Heuse corner Delevan and
George streets.
Seven-room House, on Delevan street, be-
tween George and Union streets
Three seven-room Houses on Elm street.
Eight-room House, Buttonwood street
Eight-room House, Clinton street
Two new Houses, Delaware avenue. All i'm
Improvements
Seven-room House. York street.
Seven-room houss Lambert street.
Six-room House Union street, below Ferry,
Large Double Brick House. Coryell street,
Several desirable farms for sale near Lam
bertville containing from 30 to $50 acres.
Three lots near Lambertville.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08

She-Pm glad we went II was an
excellent performance-and for such a
charitable purpose Her Husband
Yes, indeed. We all feel thrill of sat
isfactlon when we do something for
charity and get the worth Of our mon
ey at the same t!me.-London Tit-Bits
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08

"a mans vote Is too precious to he
sold" said the patriot.
Perhaps" answered Senator Sor-
ghum. although number of people Of
my acquaintance regard 1t as too valu-
able to be given away Washington
Star
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08
MONEY WANTED.

$4,000, 81 800 1880, 81 200 5000, $500 all first
mortgages on city property and desirable in
vestments.
Money to loau in large amounts on i'm
proved Real Estate.
Office open evenings to 8 o'clock
Lock Box 1874, o 1. BLACKWELL
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08
A Great ConbInntion.

"You and your husband have lived
together twenty-five years and never
had II quarrel? What's the secret"
mo secret mt all. I'm too good ma
tured to quarrel. and he's too indolent."
Exchange.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08

Bills You made funny break In
congratulatlng the brides father IN
stead of the groom. Wllls-No,
didn't. I've daughter too and |
know what they cost.-Chicago Jour
nal
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08

Carrie-I've got a dandy Idea for
girls secret society. Belle--A secret
society! DO you think 1t would be
practical3 Carrie-Surely We wouldn't
keep secrets; we'd swap them-Puck
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08

Decision OF character will often give
TO an inferior mind command over
superior Writ.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08
a . To7 TA.
Bears the a The Kind You Have Always Bought
''s, si UzAZzZNY

Read the new adv. of Folkner &
Rittenhouse
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-02-08

1t doesn't take any grit to grumble.-
Chicago Tribune.