Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-01-21
SCARED SCIENTIST

could append to or hover about so solemn
a repository OF erudition az the Smith
sonian Institution.
| But here's story, all the same:
! Few months ago one Of the members
| or tho Smithsonian Institutions scientific
corps won't down to q little island lying
on the coast of Virginia to gather certain
| specimens of the flora and fauna thereof.
What the flora and fauna were the scien-
list went after makes no difference. To
| tell what they were would be to give too
good a Tine on" just who this amiable
scientist is. anyhow.
He Is a young man OF thirty-hve or
some such g. matter, good-looking, and
| he hasn't by any means arrived as yet at
the dry-as-dust stage Of the average SCI
entinc mans career.
| On the little island lying Off the coast
| OF Virginia. hereinbefore mentioned,
| there Is a lighthouse. The lighthouse
| keeper had and has q daughter pretty,
wholesome unsophisticated quite unedu-
caIeo and wholly charming Virginia girl.
Ihe young scientist was perhaps the
| frst male person she had ever met and
| conversed with, In her out-of- the-way
| sphere who executed the major portion
| handled. -
Consequently the lighthouse keepers
daughter promptly fell idolatrously in
| love with the young scientist.
| The young scientist couldn't help it. He
| Ielt hattered that the young woman con-
! sldered him possessed of the fatal gift
OF beauty. and all that, but inasmuch as
| he was engaged to Washington young
] woman. who knew how to make honiton
| doylies and could play Monastery Bells
| and The Mafdens Prayer on the plano,
| he really felt very badly over the cascade
| of affection lavished upon him by the Vir-
gin1a sea nymph and daughter of nature.
Moreover the girl herself had a beau.
| he was rawboned young fisherman. who
combined business with pleasure by cote
| ing her while he creased his boots.
This was, of course, a complication from
| the viewpoint of the young scientist, let
alone all other considerations. The scien-
| tist mad never seen the fisherman beau. and
| he didn't want to.
After only half completing his work Of
gathering specimens. he packed up and
came pack to Washington, glad to again
brace or pure undiluted Science, with an
upper-case s.
Sadly enough. the lighthouse keepers
daughter pursued him with more less
violently affectionate letters-none the less
| anect1onate because they were one and all
signed "yures very respekhy.''
The guileless, conscientious young man
OF science was much perturbed after hav-
| ing received several dozens of these BILL
let-doux. and he decided to ask the ghostly
counsel Of his immediate chief in the mat
| ter
When he did so, his immediate chief lay
| back in his chair and-well hollered. He
| gave the embarrassed young scientist the
| loud and long laugh. Then, brutally
| lighted ears of the rest of the corps Of
scientists of the Smithsonian Institution
They. likewise. hollered
The name of the lighthouse sleeper 8
daughter Is rather unusual-say it is
Penelope Sadheart.- The staid. sober scien-
| lists had only to whisper the name of
Penelope within the hearing of the object
OF Penelopes alteration to reduce that
Yn0 of coia
and all-pervading blush. They kept at him
for quite a while, until the novelty of the
| thing wore off, and then they gradually
let him alone.
wandered into the dim, cathedral-lit en-
trance corridor of the Smithsonian Insti-
tuition.
He was something short of seven feet In
height; bony as the fossil of mastodon
and considerably more angular He was
clad in a withered suit of plain homespun,
with his pants tthey were pants. not trous-
ers) tucked in his boots, and he shambled
along as II he were at deadly loss just
what to do with his gigantic hands and
feet. Nevertheless, he looked as If he might
be able to hold his own in hand-to-paw
encounter with Rocky mountain grizzly
bear. st- l.-s. s..-s5
One of the young scientists took him In
hand and asked him his business, for the
giant did not appear to have visited the
institution merely for the purpose of in
specting the exhibits. The giant said that
he was from the Neutrality-suspicious.
island lying off the coast of Virginia, and
that he was looking for the young scientist
who had been there few months before,
having collected number Of specimens for
him.
The mischievous young man Of science
who had the giant in hand conceived an
idea.
"All right" he said. ''Ill take you to
him. By the way, do you know a Miss
Penelope sadheart down your way?"
Al IL.
THAT so?' said the mischief-maker.
"Well. I'll tell you. The gentleman you
want to see met that young lady down at
your island, and he'll be glad to know that
you know her. Now. I'll show you where
his desk is. and when you meet him it'll
please him If you ask him If he knows Miss
Penelope Sadheart."
"Ve'y well, suh-Ahll ask him." said the
giant.
Then the mischief-maker went around and
gathered together about a dozen of the
scientific corps on a little gallery directly
overlooking the desk Of the object Of Miss
Penelope Sadhearts affection.
Then he showed the giant where to find
the young scientist, who was busily en-
gagged In sorting over some specimens on
his desk.
The giant from Virginia clomped upstairs
to the desk of the young scientist. for whom
he had collected some specimens, and sham
bled up to where the young man sat.
The young scientist looked up, and he
went bit pale. Probably he had a sudden
glimmering idea of breakers ahead.
'Suh" said the giant, solemnly address,
ing the nervous young man of science at his
desk, ALIVE come up thfs-a-way from
Browns Island. Do you all know a Miss
Penelope Sadheart?
The young scientist grabbed heavy pa
per weight in one hand and rubber ruler
In the other and jumped up. He was game,
all right
Yes. do he replied, with his face as
chalky as mans face can get What of
it?"
The words that were probably humping
through his head just then were: Here's
that girls fisherman beau, and he's going
to make two bites of me; but I'm a-going to
give him run for his money at that!''
ooh, nuthin', suh," said the giant. "Ah
jes' happened tub mention huh Alive toted
UP heah some O. them things you all was
a-lookin fob down owuh way while back,
and"
Then the young scientist fell back in his
chair with the relaxation of pure joy, and
his blood began to circulate again.
Canning Eggs.
From the Melbourne Times.
We live and learn-and we usually hope to
profit by added knowledge. Many years
a1o Pope In one of his satires, told US