Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-04-15
W ON HIM HIS WIZ E

After that big association Of editors that
swooped upon Washington few weeks ago
had transacted their business lot of them
were checking their baggage at the station
upon the eve OF their departure from the
city when the battered. diiapidated, age
worn appearance of the trunk OF one Of
the Illinois editors came In for the guying
OF most OF the outfit.
1T was small old-fashioned trunk of
the steamer variety, and 1t had seen SO
much service that it required four heavy
trunk straps to hold 1t together. The guy
ing members OF the party were ironically
talking OF making up subscription for
the purpose OF stalking the owner Of the
old trunk to new one. when the Illinois
editor, who took the chatting all in good
part. came back at them.
That's all right about the old box" he
said to them. ITS getting pretty old and
moth-chewed, but I'm not going to give 1t
the shake till 1t falls apart, and then I'm
going to put its old bones away carefully
and keep them decently busted. That old
box won me my wife,"
OF course. they demanded the story OF
him then. and the owner of the battered
trunk gave 1t to them.
when first took hold of the little week.
ly in my town. said the Illinois editor,
my personal effects didn't much more
than half fill that dinky little trunk. and
when 1 went away for any little trip had
to resort to all sorts of film expedferts to
pack the trunk to the top so that the few
things owned wouldn't jOggle around in
the vacant space and get broken or knock
ed out of shape.
'But, for all of the slenderness of my
means and my wardrobe, the prettiest girl
In the town. and the daughter Of the most
well-to-do citizen in the place. wasn't any
too good for me to pay attention to. l
n "a har fvUn Or
week. but l was only one of about half
a dozen chaps in the town who were also
calling upon her right regularly, and all
Of them were a heap better OF in this
worlds goods. or. at any rate, in prospects,
than was at that time.
II didn't know where 1 stood with the
girl on this account, but I wasn't going
to be frozen out till got the direct word
program in contemplation. She was pretty
cordial to me, and when happened to find
other fellows calling upon her when WIS.,
tied her home she generally let 1t appear,
through the crafty little ways that women
pick up as soon as they quit wearing their
hair in braids. that she'd just as lief I'd
outstay the other fellows not.
Il seemed to be making about as much,
IL not more, progress than the other fell
lows, but as I wasn't picking up much
more than a living from my weekly,
wasn't In any shape to propose. especially
as the girls father was extremely comfort
able financially and / couldn't entertain
the idea of the girl imagining that 1t was
dowry l was after.
Anyhow, the frequency of my visits and
the cordial welcome I got from the girl
aroused the jealousy of some of the other
suitors, and one evening after I'd been
caller at the house for about year, they
put up a job on me.
81 was seated on a lawn bench in front
of the girls house with her-it was during
the summer-when the wagon of the town.
ship grocer drove up and the driver jumped
from his seat, went to the rear OF the
wagon. loaded my trunk-the little battered
box that you've been guying-onto his
shoulder and walked into the yard with 1t,
just as my young ladys father came down
the front steps on his way to lodge meet
ing My rivals had kidnapped the trunk
from my room and sent it to the home Of
the young lady. with the idea of putting
me In a foolish light before her and her
father.
man. as the driver of the wagon, at my
command, dropped the trunk on the lawn.
Il asked the driver how he had happened
to fetch the trunk to that place, and he
confirmed my suspicious by telling me that
he had been so instructed to deliver it by
my rivals.
1.-The old gentleman cooked up his ear at
this.
IT'S not my fault, you see SIR said to
him, for I felt pretty silly even when
knew the girl and her father were aware
of the real situation. I hope you fully I'M
derstand that wouldn't take a hama in
anything SO idiotically presumptuous as
this
That's all right son; that's all right
said the old gentleman. cycling me shrewd-
ly, and then casting his keen gaze in his
daughters direction. You and Mary had
anything to say to each other YETI
''At that. of course, l felt as incompetent
as a hairless Mexican dog in blizzard, and
Mary didn't appear to desire to exhibit any
conversational powers, either.
".Because son. the old gentleman went
on, cycling me in kindly sort OF way,
whenever you and Mary get ready to say
something to each other-and I wouldn't be
surprised but what that's the way the wind
blows en- young ones ?'-and he winked in
fatherly sort of way at me-.why, you
might Just as well have your trunk at this
address as anywhere eise-leaStways, until
build a house for you-eh SOM And he
tanned me in a paterna1 sort of way on the
leg with his walking stick. chucked Mary
under the chin, and went his way. chuck
ling
s'Well, Mary had promised herself to me
before the old gentleman had more than
half way reached his lodge meeting. and,
before the evening was over, blamed If she
hadn't looked up at me in a shy kind of
way and asked me if there were any socks
In that. trunk of mine that needed darning!
$50 the Joke was on the fellows who had
thought to be funny by sending that little
old box of mine to the young woman's
home. and I guess some Of them are kick
ing themselves yet, seeing that my wife,
saving your presence, Is still the prettiest
girl in the state of Illinois!"