The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-02
ARIZONA KIcKLETs.
There Are No Dull Days at the
GuIch.

After threatening US for almost two
years, Major Callahan called at The
Kicker office one day last week, and
standing in. the open Goor of our sane
tum he fired six shots at u.s. We suf-
fered no Inconvenience except from the
smoke of the gunpowder .
John Henderson, editor of the Lone
Jack Recorder, TWENTY-FIVE miles away,
mustered up sufficient courage .yester-
day to call US liar oyer the wire. We
shall have to drive him to the woods
again in few days.
We learn that two Of our leading citi-
zens have departed for Omaha to bring
back wives and settle down among the
four hundred. 1t has been discovered
that the ladies of eastern concert halls
make their mark out this way.
The Hellso opera house opens Septem-
Der for the season, and we have put in
new kerosene lamps and dug all the
bullets out of the plaster. The Two
Dromios will be the first thing on the
boards, and the manager has agreed to
wiring in at least two sand-jigs if the
boys won't do any shooting.
In attempting to shoot a cigar out of
the mouth of a man from Chicago the
other day, Pete Doyer's foot slipped and
his bullet took the end of the strangers
nose into space. We told Pete over a
year ago that he was losing his sight.
We were a witness to the little affair
in the Royal Hotel last Tuesday even
ing, and we cannot speak too highly in
praise of the landlord. He had to shoot
| a guest for kicking about the holes in
the table cloth, but he took the utmost
pains to shoot him in the shoulder and
| give him chance to better his man
ners. Over at Pine Hill he would have
been dead man.
We were invited to come over to Grass
Valley last Sunday evening and give one
of our Talks on biblical history, but
hearing that the people of that enter
prising burg had about a cord of dead
/! jack rabbits to heave at us we remain
| ed at home and read a chapter from the
New Testament. We do not feel that
| the loss was ours.
The report that we had shot Mr.. James
Taylor superintendent of the stage line,
because he had refused to renew our an
nual pass has not a grain of truth in
| it, When we handed the old pass in to
| be exchanged we carelessly displayed
the butts of two guns, but no intimida-
| ton of any sort was practfced, nor was
there the slightest acrimony on the part
| of Mr.. Taylor.
| We are being somewhat sharply crit
| icized by a certain class of our citizens
| for acting as Sunday school Superin-
tendent during the absence of Mr.. Per-
kins. but we shall hold the place down
until his return just the same. We
wear our guns while teaching simply
from force of habit.
At the meeting of the Common Coun-
ell Wednesday evening One-Eyed Pete,
city marshal for the last four months,
handed in his resignation. He has had
eleven bullets fired into him during his
incumbency, and he thinks the salary
of s12 per week too small for the job.
He is going east to open creamery and
do some loafing around.
We had occasion to examine the cor
oner's books the other day, and they
were found in such disgraceful con-
dition that we felt compelled to criti-
CHE him officially. He at once drew
q gun on US and we were compelled in
self defense TO shoot the weapon out
of his hand. A few bcurs after the af-
fair-he sent us word that he was peni-
tent and hoped for our forgiveness.
Almost every day we receive letters
and circulars from the east regarding
waterwoi ks for this town, and we wish
to say once for all that it is a useless
waste of postage. The Gulch has pop
ulation of $50 souls and thirty-two sa-
looms TO supply them with drink. and
any talk about water seems absurd
under the circumstances.
We haven't had anything to say re-
gardfng our plans for the next presi-
dency for some time past, but don't
you forget that we are camping on the
trial. Mr.. Roosevelt has stated posi-
lively that he will not accept a renomi-
nation, and according to us that leaves
us a clear field. The party that gets
us first gets the election.
In returning from a birthday party