The weekly true Democrat. (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1905-1912, 1905-05-19
JUST

rs marriage failure?" You can
never tell till you've seen the wedding
presents. "-Cleveland Leader
my boy" asked the school teach
or, what is the chief end Of MANI"
why, the end his heads on" replied
the ungster.-Baltimor Herald.
Her-Why do you prefer hotel food
to my cooking? Him-At a hotel
can always look at the menu and see
what I'm eating. Leader
"See that man? Well, sir, he landed
in this country with bare feet and now
he's got millions" Gee whiz! he
must be a regular centipedo. "-Phila.
delphia Ledger.
Strayner-My heart goes out instihc.
lively to the cry Of distress. Bulge
Well that's the cheapest thing you can
lot go out; that's some consolation
Boston Transcript.
Stubb-Tlme works changes among
the wealthy as well as the poor Penn
Il should say So These days the
chauffeur knows more family secrets
than the butler.-Chicago News.
Carrye-What did papa say when
you asked for my hand? Cholly-
From what the ambulance surgeon
told me when | came to he must have
said Gplenty.-Pittsbur Dispatch.
Clara-How did you break your hus.
band of suffering? Grace-Every
time he started 1t began to protest
against his smoking. never failed to
start his flow of language.-Detroit
Free Press.
why, yes" said Miss Pertie Good.
win TO her intimate friend, Harry and
! are going TO have secret wedding
Not a soul is going TO know Of 1t till
after IT'S over Hadn't you heard?'-
Chicago Tribune.
She-To think that he should treat
me so! And he told me he loved me
with his whole heart He--That was
all right; but you see since then he
has been suffering from heart failure.
Boston Transcript.
Little Wllle-Say, pa, what is the
meaning OF 'Noblesse oblige"? Pal
don't know, my son, unless it has some
connection with those foreign mobiles
who are obliged to marry for money
Chicago Daily News.
81 can truthfully say" remarked a
ST. Petersburg official. that nobody
ever threw a bomb at me-" ITO what
do you attribute this faCt?' asked the
sardonIc colleague; popularity or UNI
importance? "-Washington Star,
Does your husband ever boast Of
his mothers cooking?" Boast!
should say not Why, only the other
day | saw him out in the alley playing
quoits with some Of his mothers
doughnuts "-Cleveland Plain Dealer
Those two men talking together
over there are worth a good many
millions between them" (which 10
the richer~' 81 don't know, posi-
tively-but watch the bishop, who's
going to speak to them" "Why?"
See which one he shakes hands with
frst"-Life.
Gunner think there should be an
authorship class connected with ev-
cry big college. | mean so students
would be enabled TO write fiction for
money. Guyer-Fiction? Say. did
you ever see the letters that students
write their parents when they neOd a
Daily News.
I'm afraid we can't use this sketch
OF your life in this campaign" said the
boss to the young candidate, I'm
afraid the public won't believe you
came from the country7" why not7"
Because you don't say you ever taught
school for q term and then came to
the city 20 study law."-Omaha News.
Mrs. Nayberleigh-why, what are
you crying aboutI Mrs. Youngbride
We'll. you know. John Is away on
a business trip Mrs. Nayberleigh-
Yes. Mrs. Youhgbride-He writes
that he gets out my picture and X.
kisses II every day. Mrs. Navber.
that's surely nothing 20
ely about. Mrs. Youngbride-Yes, Il |
10! Just to play q joke on him, I
look my picture out OF his grip when
he started. and put one OF mammoth.
IRIS 10 lie place.-ClevelAnd Leader.