Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1905-12-15

In the winter or '93 at brand new
mining camp on the Yukon there was
q select society. One dark afternoon
Just before Christmas, with the mer.
curry standing below the zero mark at
some 20 odd, and q bitter wind sweep
Ing down the river, the host blew into
the coy office of the agent.
II want you to do two things for
me-"
"All right" said the agent, with
ready courtesy, what do you lack?"
I'm the first place." said the host, II
want you to take Christmas dinner
with me-"
That's easy" said the agent.
I'm the second place, want you to
help me out with the dinner"
''rake the whole house If you want
it."
"No, I don't quite want the house" "
said the host, ''but want that little
Frenchman, your. cook--what's his
name?"
Louis is yours" said the agent.
"And I want whole lot Of other
things" said the host, with sigh.
I'm afraid I'm up against 1t hard"
Whats the gamer" said the agent.
We'll, you see, it's this way" said
the host. 1--WE invited the governor
and his son, and the general and his
wife, and you and make up the party.
Further, I have asked each guest to
choose some dish he would like for
dinner, and, however difficult, have
agreed to provide it,
We'll, admire your nerve" said
the agent, you must imagine that San
francisco or New Orleans is just
around the next bend in the river. Do
you know what the word Yukon
means?"
NO" said the host, despondently.
ut means, nothing to eat"
Before we go any further" said the
host, entirely ignoring the agents tri-
umph, what is yours?"
Rum omelet," said the agent, with
out moments hesitation.
Hunt" unused the host, "rum, Of
course, but that means fresh eggs,
with nothing but scrambled eggs in
the town. Canned eggs won't omelet;
I've tried EN-
"Blackie's got q hen suggested the
agent, "she roosts on the foot Of his
bed to keep from freezing to death"
Eyes, know said the host, "but
she laid her last egg on the steamer
just before it reached town. No hope
at all there"
Hes up against the real thing
now sang the agent with delight.
by the way, what did the others
choose?"
ITO begin with the easiest, the gov
ernor's son wants some dish cooked In
the French fashion"
why not let Louis make a caribou
saute?" suggested the agent.
Just the thing"
What next?" "a
"The generals wife wants fresh po.
tatoes. No evaporated or granulated
spuds co.
Got any?" asked the host anxiously.
Frozen Ones" said the agent.
"Will they do boiled?"
mo, mashed, said the agent, whip
'em up with little butter and canned
cream and then brown em in the
oven.'
Bully" said the host, lapsing into
the vernacular Of the west and rub
bling his hands together.
What does the governor want?'
asked the agent.
Marrow on toast" said the host du.
biously.
'Holy smoked" exclaimed the agent.
mot a cow brute this side of Dawson,
and that is TEA miles up the Yukon.
Better start an airship for Seattle at
once. There are two horses in town,
you might buy one and-hold on
minute" as the dawn of an idea ap-
peared in his eyes, "wait till I go out
and look on the roof of the cabin"
He stepped out of the door and re.
turned in few moments looking mys-
teriously triumphant.
What's on the roof of your old
cabin?" said the host specifically.
The agent tiptoed dramatically up
to him, put his hand to his mouth and
said in loud stage whisper, Moose
Shanks."
"What?" said the host.
Frozen moose bones full of mar
row." explained the agent, beaming.
"You see l have had several moose
hams this fall, and as fast as the meat
was cut off Louis threw them on the
roof of the cabin, intending to make
soup for the dogs. Now what will be
the dogs loss will be the governors
gain, for those bones are full of mar
row, everyone Of them"
Shake" said the host as he extend,
ed his right hand.
Now let's see," said the agent mus
ing, whats next? o yes, the general.
Bet you the drinks know what he
wants. He wants BOOZE"
You're not SO much" said the host,
laughing. Il guessed that myself.
When / asked him, he put the whole
proposition in as few words as posi-
Bile; all he said was, Iashins O. cham
pagne.n