davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1905-07-07
Several Addresses.

Asbury Park n. J., July "a num-
Der Of addresses were made Wednesday
ut the National Educational associa-
ton convention.
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1905-07-07

All s5.O0 oxfords cut 10 $3.50 at
Hunter 4 Chatham's this week.
Don't hesitate. 1888
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1905-07-07
In Honor Of Hay.

Chattanooga, Tenn. July en-. u,
Forrest Camp United Confederate vet
Grams Of this city appointed a commit
tee 20 draft resolutions OF respect in
honor OF the late Secretary OF State
Hay .t1sii.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-03-05
JUDGE CONSIDERATE.
Would Let Murderer Set Date for Exc
eution-Promised Good Dinner.

Representative Kehoe Of Kentucky
tells of a considerable judge in his State
who passed sentence on a man convicted
of murder The judge said:
Mr.. Dodson, the jury says you are
guilty of murder, and the laws says you
are to DE hung. 1t is my wish that you
and all your friends on the river should
know that it is not who condemns you;
1T Is the jury and the law. Mr.. Dodson,
at what time, sir, would you like. TO be
hung?'
The prisoner made answer that it was
a matter of indifference to him and that
he was prepared to be swung off at any
time. The judge continued:
MIR. Dodson, it IS serious matter to
be hung. 1t can't happen to man but
once in his life, unless the rope should
break before the neck is broken; and you
had better take all the time you can.
But since it makes no difference to you,
you may hang four weeks from today al
l. noon, but you may have good din
ner first
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-03-05
NOT FOR COTTON BALES.
Telegraph Might Garry Letters and
Bundles. But It's Fraud.

A man lived in Cass county, Ga,
many years ago who had once been in
The State LEGISLATURE But all kinds
OF men go to the Legislature in Geor-
gia," adds the story teller
This man never neglected an eppor-
tunity to emphasize the fact that he
had been to the Legislator" He was
a perfect infidel as to new discoveries
and new sciences, being perfectly salts
fed that If the world should turn over
ali the water would spill out OF his well.
He gave in to steam cars by slow de-
srees. and all the Walls of his contempt
were poured out upon the idea of a
telegraph.
Finally the State road was built and
worlcmen began to put up telegraph
POLES right in front of his house. He
was asked what he thought about the
telegraph. and he replied:
When | was in the Legislator give
this matter my close attention, and
said then, and l say now. that 1t may
do fer letters and small bundles, but Il
will never do, sir. for cotton bales 1t
is a humbug, and my stituents will see
il. sir
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-03-05
A Physical ImpossibiIity.

Sixty years ago. when the Senate met
in what is now the Supreme Court room,
Captain Bassett turned back the hands
Of the clock the first time. At the last,
or short, session OF Il Congress Iegisla-
tion il. both houses of Congress goes on
until the very last moment 1t will be
readily seen that if bin is passed by
the House only I'VE or ten minutes be-
fore Z o'clock-the hour set by the Con-
stitution for the close of = Congress-it
would be a physical impossibility to get
that bill over to the Senate and leave
any time for action before it was actual
ly i o'clock. This condition OF affairs
usually occurs only at the close of the
short session, for the hour of adjourn
ment of the long session is set by joint
resolution of the two houses, and may
be extended as often as necessary, yet il
does sometimes become necessary TO
turn back the hands at the close of the
long session This occurred at the close
of the first session of the Fifty-fifth
Congress, and yet, Notwithstanding, one
bill making appropriation OF $4,000 failed
To become a law because the clock In
the Presidents room struck the hour oil
adjournment before the signature of the
President could be affixed to IL
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-03-05
COLLECTION FOR OIL.
Parable of the Tea Foolish Virgins
Provides Text.

THE coiored brother of the South Is
intensely relig. Gus says Representative
Aiken of South Carolina. and 1T is not
one of the requirements of the church
that those who have received the CALI
must be college bred.
There are hundreds of negro preach
ers in the South who can barely read
and write Not long ago / heard of a
sermon delivered by q pastor Of one of
the smaller churches in Charleston.
The church was a very small one,
and q shining candle was all the Hum
ination. It was literally a light shining
In a dark place. The congregation was
q match for the house.
"The tolored brother was holding forth
on the parable of the Ten Virgins.
You see said he. desc ten virgins
had lamps. Dat was mighty lucky.
cause dat brings 10 my mind dat de lie
has all gone outcn our lamps, an VIC
has TO bnrn dis candle.
We mus take lection to plenish
de lie. Sing, now, bredren and sistern.
while de deacon goes roun'. Sing de
money outtsI your pockets brudders, ar
you wise an foolish virgins. too.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-03-05
MARRIED ANYWAY.
Justice, Forgetting Printed Form of
Ceremony, Not Feazed at All.

The marriage ceremony is performed
in a. variety of ways. every church and
every sect having its form, while the
want of il among civilians authorized
to tie the knot, is as various as the men
themselves.
a representative from Pennsylvania
tells this story:
a justice of the peace in one of the
mining districts of that State. where
clergymen are scarce. was frequently
called upon to pronounce the marriage
service. He was in the habit of taking
from his pocket printed form and go
ing over it
But one night he was hurriediy sent
for and In changing his clothes neglect
ed to transfer the document. Arriving
at the house he found the young couple
ready and waiting. and adjusting his
glasses he began TO tumble in his peck
cts for the ceremony, and not finding
It he said:
Never mind, my young friends,
pronounce you man and wife, accord
ing TO the ceremony left in my other
breeches pocket
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-03-05
Capt. Isaac 15o5sett- Eor Or~ 5aty Years An Eu0lz
Of Tie Senate.
Custom of Making Father Time Halt to
Meet Constitutional Demands IS Old,
But It Has Never Yet Been
Tested in Court
T ested in Court.

oning to Mr.. Bassett, who was then q
very young man, he whispered:
''Bassett, do you think you could turn
back the hands of that clock about ten
minutes without attracting too much at
tention2''
MIR Bassett was at that time mes
senger and a great favorite of Senator
Mangum's, ne having charge of the
Vice Presidents room, which the Sem
ator occupied as President pro tenn
He replied, Yes, sir, 1 think I can.
We'll, then. go and do 1t as quickly
as you cam said the Senator. The
clock was situated over the semi-cIr-
cular gallery railing above the main
door, the present entrance to the Su-
Dreme Court room. 1t was the old
Fashioned grandfather's clock that
now stands in the Senate corridor op-
uosite the south door Of the present
Senate chamber.
Mr.. Bassett at once left the cham
Der and entered the gallery, and making
his way TO the front railing he leaned
over and with much difficulty succeeded
in pushing back the hands ten minutes
without attracting the attention of more
than half a dozen persons, all In the i'm
mediate neighborhood. a few minutes
afterward the appropriation bill was
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-03-05
Captain Bassett First Turned Back Hands
in 1845, and Was Cautioned Not
to Attract Attention in
Doing So.
Doing So.

Only once has attention ever been
called TO the turning back OF the hands
by any Senator on the floor Of the
chamber. Usually il passes entirely
unobserved, apparently, So far as the
Senate is concerned. a few years ago.
just after Mr.. Bassett returned to his
seat, having performed this unpleas-
ant task, Senator Hill OF Georgia rose
in his place and IN very serious man
ner said:
Mr.. President, I desire TO ask on
whose authority, and under wIlas rule
or order Of the Senate the hands Of the
clock have been set back?"
The Vice President looked embar-
raised a moment, then smiled very
pleasant and innocent smile as hs
glanced toward the Senator from Geor-s
gia, but made no reply whatever. Tie
Senator looked confused, sank back
into his seat without another word,
and the business Of the Senate. which
was being rushed through at lightning
speed, was resumed, and the incident
passed.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-03-05
WANTS NO CLOTHES.
Young Gossip Would Dispense With
Them Unless They Grew on U.s.

Il don't often read the society news in
newspap ers," says a Representative
from one of the Southern States. but l
was particularly struck with the ideas
suggested by a young lady who fur
nished gossip from one OF the seaside
resorts last summer.
She regretted the fashion which
caused women to dress eight or ten
times a day-a dress for breakfast, a
dress to battle in, dress after bathing,
a dress for dinner. dress for an after
noon nap. a dress for a drive. dress
for supper. and dress for hop, and
so on down the line.
Concluding her remarks, she said,
What a pity dress can not be dispensed
with altogether l should like TO live
in a planet where costumes would grow
,,non us: where they leaf out and blow
out like vines and lilies. and where chill
dren could be gathered from the trees
like peaches
NV. my. wouldn't that be Hice?''
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-03-05
WATCH AND PRAY.
Parson Adams Gave Literal Heed to
Injunction,

PEARSON Adams was for many years
pastor Of the church at Luenburg,
Mass says a Representative from
that State. and he was a man of high
character and great learning, but given
to getting off jokes.
1T is said of him that on one cccas son
he was called to a neighboring town to
preach for a minister who was i'll He
stopped at the home of one of the mem
bers of the congregation. The day was
cold and as supper time drew near he
proposed that he should hold family
tire just as soon as the evening meal
was disposed of. AS he had visited the
family before 1t was known that he
was very fond of Indian cakes, baked
on platters set in front of the fire, and
these We're being cooked for him when
the family prayer service began, the
ladies coming in from the kitchen to
take part.
"Parson Adams seat was i'll direct
line with the kitchen door, and while
he knelt in prayer his eyes wandered
toward the kitchen and he discovered
that one of the cakes was burning. He
hesitated in his petition and said:
- Mrs. Jenkins, we are told to watch
as well az pray, and I see that one Of
the cakes is burning l will thank you
to see to it.
This being done the good man re-
Sumed his prayer.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-03-05
VERY MEAN TOWN.
Lost Leg; No Damage; Fined for OBJ
structing Streets.

There must be a very. very mean
town in Pennsylvania, if a story which
a Representative from that State tells
is TO be believed.
He says that several years ago man
fell on a bad sidewalk and injured his
leg so severely that amputatfon was
necessary He sued the city for dam
ages. but lost his case. the intelligent
jury deciding that the claimant was
a barber and could not shave a man
with his leg, he was not entitled TO
damages.
1t was, however, a few years later
that the real meanness of the town de-
veloped This same man got his wooden
leg caught IN the rails of a street car
track crossing one OF the principal
streets. 1. was neatly an hour before
the man could be exuicated. Traffic
was stopped for all that time, and the
city officials yanked the poor devil up
and fined him for obstructlng the
streets.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-03-05
NEED NO LEARNING.
Want Men to Split Rails and Fence
in Enterprising Country.

This is pretty tough yarn on Missls-,
sippi, and it Is understood that it orig
mated with the Hon. Morris Shepherd
of Texas, who was opposed by Repre-
sentative Gambler Of Mississippi In ms
effort to get Congress to do away with
the free seed graft;
A young man who had been educated
for a school teacher concluded to cast
his lot in the wilds of Mississippi. he
could not find single school house, ana
finally approached q log cabin in 'front.'
of which stood an intelligent farmer
The young man told the Mississlpplah
that he was on the hunt for place as
school teacher.
AN you er a school teacher?
Yes, sir. Do you think L could get
school in your neighborhood. sir!
Reckon not Can you drive oxen
mo. sir. 1 never learned farming or
teaming."
Can you maui raiis?''
mo, sir. ,..,,
teachers We're busy folks an don I
have time for book larnin" We wan:
enterprisin' men who can drive oxen an
split rails ~, ,,,,
"Oh. / see: you want men who can
spIit rails so that your great and enter
prising country can be fenced IN Gooa
day sir.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-03-05

most unpleasant and embarrassing
tasks he ever had TO PERFORM and in
later years 1t made him very nervous,
for the visitors in the galleries, many
of them, were on the lockout for old
Father Time" as they called him. and
when he appeared with his long pole a
slight ripple OF laughter or murmur
Of applause would go through the gal
Ieries. This never failed to bring q
vivid blush to the face of the old gem
tleman, who was extremely sensitive
on the subject, especially as he had
been criticised and accused of perform
| ing this duty on his own responsibility.
This was a very unjust accusation. for
never once in all the ffty-two years
did he ever volunteer or make any
move toward turning back the hands
until first directed to do SO by the
| ytca President or President pro tenn.
AS the hour OF adjournment draws
near the presiding officer watches the
clock very closely, and If by II O'Clock
IT seems apparent to him from the con-
| ditfon of legislation that they Will
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-03-05
NEGRO'S PRAYER.
Fervent Petition for Man Whose Morals
Were Doubtful.

Representative Adamson of Georgia
picked up this good story during his
summer vacation at home:
1.-The colored brother-and sister too
goes heavy on long and fervent pray
ers- At one of the big meetings held
near my home town. Carroilton, an old
woman. Aunt Emma. noted for the
length and breadth of her suppiications
and who always prayed for her white
folks, put in this appeal for the head
of the family.
Good Lord. save Mars Tenn Let
him keep sober long. huff ter git saliva
ton. Save Mars Tom. good Lord He's
er good man. good Lord. 'cepfs he
drinks an cuSses CT little How would
an drunk at dat?' ~
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-03-05
BOTH SIDES BRANDED.
CIerqvman With Union and Southern
Rights Congregation Guarded His
PRAYERS.

cot course, everybody has heard OF the
different brands of whisky produced In
Kentucky" says Representative Butter
of PENNSYLVANIA. but through an army
officer ] heard of a case OF branding
prayers in that State
cit seems that a minister had MOCK
which were about equally divided pc
tween Union and Southern rights, and
If was necessary for him in order to
keen out of trouble to be constantly on
mis- guard and give ofense to none.
at was noticed that the minister IN
his prayers made them to suit the oeca-
sion. His attention was called to this,
and the answer was:
Prayers nowadays in Kentucky, to
go safe, must be branded on both
Sides"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-03-05
TO PREVENT ACCIDENT.
Judge Took No Chances With Eloquent
Advocate.

a Iawmaker from Maryland contrib
utes this story about a judge who once
presided in the district in which Girls
field, the great crab producing town, is
located.
A man was on trial for murder and tbs
evidence was so pa1pabIy insufficient
that the judge stopped the case and or
dered the jury to bring in & verdict OF
not guilty.
a well-known lawyer, however, who
desired to do something to make q
showing for the fee he was receiving for
the defense. claimed the privilege OF
addressing the court.
Wen hear you. Mr.. Hastings" said
the judge. but in order to prevent ac-
cidents we will first acquit the pris-
oner''
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-03-05
ARMY REVIVAL.
Colonel Detached Fifteen Men for Bap-
fisin-Not To Be Outdone.

Some of the stories dating back to
war times will never grow old. PriYats
John Allen fathers this one;
A chaplain of the army called on Q
colonel who was noted for his profan-
ity, to talk of the religious interests
of his men. you have a fine regiment.
said the chaplain, in an effort to break
the ice
.'Yes. SIR answered the colonel.
DO YOU think you pay sufficient at
tention to the religious instruction OF
your menu
II don't know. parson."
"A lively interest has been awakened
in the - Massachusetts. The Lord has
blessed us and ten privates have been
strhe devil you say. Sergeant ma jor.
have fifteen men detailed for baptism.
for I be cussed If that regiment shah
Guido US.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-03-05
Turned Back the First Time.

The first time that the hands were ever
turned back was al 1870 o'clock on
March 4, 1875. Senator Wyley p Man
gum of North Carolina, who had been
elected President pro tempore, was in
the chair at the time. Legislation was
behindhand, and one appropriation bill
had not yet reached the Senate, and as
the hands of the Senate ock pointed TO
11:20 O'Clock and no TeUs from the
House had been receis-L' in regard TO
the bill, the President pro tempoTe be-
came very nervous and snxious. Beck
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-03-05
- ME and tide stop for no man, ;"
says the proverb.
Whoever wrote this proverb

Whoever wrote this proverb
was wise guy. but he
neglected to remember Joshua, the first
man on record to get Father Time
mixed in his dates, or to foresee the
inauguration of President Roosevelt
the latest man TO put kin5 in the rope
Of infinite time.
To all intents and purposes the Presi-
dent took the oath of office yesterday,
immedia tely after the adjournment of
Congress. at noon, as required by the
Constitution Of the United States. If
you do not believe it, ask anyone who
saw the Senate clock just before he was
sworn in. It may be that some Of the
great crowd which lined both sides of
Pennsylvania avenue waiting for the
return of the Chief Executive from the
Capitol will doubt the truth Of this as
sertion, but hard boards and the uncon-
genial cufp are not conducive to belief
in miracles. It may be that they will
tell YOU il was after l o'clock when the
ceremony was performed, and it may
be that they are right. The man who
held the hands of the Senate clock could
tell If he would
The custom of turning back the
lands of the Senate clock began more
than half a century ago. 1t is much
discussed question, sand one which may
some day lead to trouble and embar-
rassment. whether the Inauguration of
Presidents. the bills and joint resolu-
items signed by the President. or acted
upon by the Senate during the brief
time gained by turning back the hands
oil the clock, viii stand the scrutiny of
the Supreme Court. should their valid
ity ever b. contested.
How his custom of holding up Father
TAX Il
vrealth-tiIne is money-originated has
been told the writer by Capt Isaac
Bassett, who first performed the feat
OF turning back the Senate clock s
hands. The story is now published for
the first time
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-03-05
How He Turned Back the Hands.


For many years it was Mr. BaSsetts
custom, after receiving his orders, to
use = long pole with a hook on the
end he would slip quickly around
the side of the chamber unobseryed
until he stood directly beneath the
clock over the main entrance, and,
reaching up, catch hold of the long
hand with the hook and pull it back
as far as desired. AS Captain Bassett
advanced in years it became more and
more difficult for him in his excite
ment and feeb1eness to accurately ma
nipulate the hook on the end OF the
mole -, to obviate this difficulty few
Years before he died new set of
hands were placed on the clock so con-
structed that by simply touching the
base of the long hand with the end Of
the pole he could accomplish his OBJ
ject easily and quickly.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-03-05
POLITICAL EPITAPH.
Persistence Which Was Worthy Of
Better Cause.

This episaph has been submitted by
Tennessee Represen tative:
He left this world of storm and strife.
In spite of all advice;
He ran for office all his life,
And only get there twice.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-03-05

brought over from the House, now
Statuary Hail, just across the rotunda.
It was taken up and acted upon in1me-
diately. and it was passed and signed by
the President, who was in waiting IN an
adjoining room, before it was u o'clock,
by the Senate clock
From that time until now it has been
customary, whenever the business of
either House is delayed, for the prestd-
ing officer to request that the hands be
turned back, and for about fffty-tWo
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-03-05

need little more time, the order is
then given and the hands turned back
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-03-05

years no one ever performed that duty
except Isaac Bassett. In this way many
important bills have been saved which
otherwise would have failed of passage
and possibly an extra session of Con-
gress avoided Sometimes 1t happens
that the act has TO be repeated once OF
twice, and in one or two instances, even
three times before the Senate could
complete its business
To Mr.. Bassett it was one OF the
The San Francisco call., 1905-02-26
Japanese Advance
Over Heaps OF
the Dead
Siege Guns Resume Artil-
lery Duel to the South
OF Mukden.,
Russian Forces Shell Two Villages
and Burn and Abandon q
Third.

ST. PETERSBURG, Feb. 25.-Gen-
eral Sakharoff, General Kuropatkin's 8
chief of staff, in a dispatch dated to-
day, reports that when the Japanese
attacked and captured Beresneff Hill
on February "a, after severe fighting,
they were in superior force and ad-
vanced literally over the bodies Of
their own men. The Japanese loss
was very heavy, the dead lying in
heaps. The Russian losses have not
yet been ascertained.
MUKDEN, Feb. 25.-An action in
the center opened at $3.50 o'clock this
morning with siege guns. The firing
of field guns continued throughout
the day.
TOXIC, Feb. 25.-The Russians
shelled Litajentun and Chenchiehpao
yesterday. On the same day they
burned and abandoned Chiensunmu-
paotzu, near Waitao Mountain.
The San Francisco call., 1905-02-26
CHICAGO DEMOCRATS Make
NOMINATION FOR MAYOR
Judge Edward f. Dunno Of Circuit
Court Will Run on Public Own
ershi) Platform.

CHICAGO, Feb. 25.-Edward F.
Dunno, Judge of the Circuit Court
was unanimously nominated by the
Democratic city convention to-day as
candidate for Mayor of Chicago. The
party platform declares the issue to
be whether the expressed will of our
own citizens or the. interests of a
Wall-street syndicate" shall direct
public policy regarding the ownership
and control of the city streets for trac-
ton purposes. Thes platform demands
that the people now assert their rights
and proceed to bring about municipal
ownership and operation of the street.
ear lines.
On the subject of municipal owner
ship of other public. utilities the plat
form declares specifically In favor of
the city furnishing light at reason
able price to private consumers, urges
the speedy construction of system
of subways to be perpetually owned
and operated by the city. and insists
that the use Of the water power Of
the drainage canal shall not be grant
ed to private persons or corporations.
but be preserved for the general uses
of the municipality