Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1905-10-26

~
s~~-NoNeo1uo-oo
Hell hope you don't make a fool Of
your husbandi
she-No; don't have to.--Yonkers
Statesman.
Appropriate Southern cornetist
named Burst, has three children Alice
May Burst, James Wood Burst. and
Henry VIII Burst
SO Natural.--Mrs. CassIdy-'Twas
very natural he looked. Mrs. Casey
Aye, shure he looked fur all the wnrld
loike a lowe man layin' there dead.
Breaking the Mlstress--If
You want eggs to keep you must lay
them in cool place. Brldget-Oi'll
mintion II 70 the hens at wanst, mum.
His Experience
Regarding a woman" said Henpeck,
''fo this said conclusion I've come:
When man puts a ring on her finger
lie puts himself under her thumb"
Awful-Uncle Hiram-They say
that the sun never sets on the British
Empire. Aunt Hannah-Doesn't 1t
nowi And we have such lovely sun
sets over herel
Very Likely.--"Have you any taste
for ThaekerayT" asked Mrs. oldcastle.
mo. ] can't say that have" replied
her hostess; "is that anything like this
paprika they're putin In everything
nowT
Correct-"Pa," said little Reginald,
what is bucket shopT" "A bucket
shop, my son." said the father, feel
ingly, is modern cOoperage estab-
lishment TO which n man takes bar
rel and brings back the bung-hole."
Insinuation. Patron Din restaurano
What are you botherlng me for?
Head Usher-The gentleman at the
next table wanted me to ask IL you
wouldn't please face the other way.
He says he was nearly eaten by an Al
ligator once aud can't bear to see you
eat"
The Realist--Alexis came home one
night with his clothes full OF holes.
What has happened to youg" exclalm-
ed his mother. "oh, we've been play
ing shop ever since school closed"
Alexis replied. shop echoed his
mother. "Yes. We opened a grocery,
and everybody was something" Alexis
explained. IL was the cheese"
Could DO without It.--"You remem.
Der that l gave an order for a pound
OF liver a while ag0?" "Yes," was the
reply. well, find that do not need
It. and you need not send it." Before
abe could put down the telephone re-
ceiver she heard the market-man say
to some one In the store: Take out
Mrs. Blanks liver. She says she can
get along without It."
Recommendable.-"My husband Is
90 poetic" said one lady to 'ther In
q car the other days. Poor dearg' In
terrupted goOd-natured looking wom-
an with n market basket at her feet.
who was seated at the lady's elbow
and overheard the remark. Have you
ever tried rubbin' his j'ints with hart
shorn liniment. mum7 That'll straight.
en- him out as quick as anything I
know Of"
The Secret Of Harmony.
Mrs. Mead had just engaged two SER
wants, n man and his wife. "I am so
glad you are marriedw she said to the
man. Il hope you are very happy, and
that you and your wife never have any
difference OF opinion" Faith, ma'am,
| couldn't say that" replied the new
servant, for we have a good many;
but OF don't let Bridget know of thin,
an so we do be getting along we'll"
Generals Saved Hlm.-When Cen
eral Robert Il. Lee was fighting Grant
In "the last days" an old darky be-
sieged headquarters with requests to
see "the gln'ral." "Well, where do
you belongT demanded General Lee.
Il b'longs to y'r company, gln'ral," re-
turned the darky. mo, you don't"
declared the General, Sharply. EVERY
body in my company has been shot
How is 1t that you haven't been?" The
darky scratched his head. Then from
his twisted mouth came confidential
whisper: "Well, yo' see, gin'ral, it's
this away. amt been shot case
when dey's a fight goin' on always
stays with the gin'rals."