The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-16

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Landlord-We have been forced to
raise your rent Tenant-Oh, thanks.
l couldn't do 1t myself--Exchange
did you visit Paris on your trip
abroadT Almost" "Almost7 What
do you mean by thatT "Well, you
see. had my wife with me."-Life.
First Capitalist-What would you do
If you lost your money? Second Capt.
taiist-Start a magazine and expose
the methods by which l used to make
it.--Judge.
Mlstah Johnsing-Can't 20 glib me
no hope, Liza? Miss Jackson-Once |
an 70 all, Mlstah Johnsing, tells yo'
won't be no mans cullud supple
ment.-Puck
you say bis death was due to care
lessnessT Yep" answered Three
Finger Sam. what kind OF careless
nessY Got caught stealin' cattle."--
Washington Star.
Father (of large family)-My dear,
isn't 1t about time you were thinking
OF getting married? Daughter-Heav-
ensl l haven't thought OF anything
else for years.-Illustrated Bits.
II never thought" said the conceit-
ed lecturer, that my voice would fill
that hall" NO." replied the candid
man, II thought at one time it would
empty it."-Philadelphia Ledger.
You can't have genius without &C.
centricity." THAT may be 50, but I've
noticed that it's possible to have a
good deal Of eccentricity without much
: genius."-Chicago Record-Herald-
II, in the heat of a family quarrel.
the angry wife makes a move to pick
up a natiron, by no means Is this to
be taken as implying a desire to
smooth things over.-New Yorker.
Miss Bliggins is very self-conscious
is she not? "Yes. When some one
made a remark about a wolf In Sleeps
1 clothing she took it as a reflection on
4 her Persian lamb coat."-Exchange
}. Little Pet ION her knees, before re
d tiring)-Mamma, may l pray for rain
e Mamma-Y-e-s, II you want to; bu
s why2 Little Pet-Susie StuckupT
e didn't invite me to her picnic.-Nev
y York Weekly.
Il Her Brother-Sister stuck up for yol
&c last night all right. Pop said you wer
y a fool. Her Suitor-What did she say
j" Her Brother-Sister said that b
:. shouldn't judge a man by his looks
New York Mall.
r Gasaway-Of all the tiresome tall
ell ers l think BARRIERS Henpeck-'Sl
20 Maria will hear you. Gasaway-Why
fe er l didn't know your wife was IL
n terested In BARRIERS. Henpeck-Sh
in cuts my hair.-Philadelphi Press.
ly what beautiful new public bulk
49, ing" exclaimed the visitor; "and 1t
n almost completed, isn't It'll" "No," r
er Piled the citizen; at looks like it
m completed, but they haven't exceeds
III the appropriation yet."-Indlanapol
pr Star.
9e THAT brother of yours, Lucy" sa
no the man OF the house, seems to be
n pretty tough character" "'Deed,
he is, suh," replied the colored maid; "a
NJ jes' natchelly seems to be de whi
me sheep OBJ our family, sho' nufr."-Ph
IN. adelphia Press.
to The visitor-What a delightful
re- snug little fat you havel The Rent
nal Isn't lit When we open the do
ess we're in the middle OF the room, a
urs when the sunshine comes in we ha
len to move some OF the furniture out.
ace Chicago Tribune.
"Ie The average man out Of work
"a ways insists that he'd have been
~. right II he'd only had good show
- the last place." Unless he happe
to be an actor. Then it's If I'd Oh
ra- had good place in the last show
on Philadelphia Ledger.
ave "Will somebody please chase
r l cow down this wayf" said the fur
its boarder. who wanted some milk
me his coffee. Here, Jane" said
for landlady, ironically, take the c
is down where the calf is bawling.
cry Kansas City Journal
pom Don't you like your new ministe
'een well, he's very young and not
rage good speaker. His delivery Is very
way culiar; l don't understand 1t at q
i's Nobody could solve his delivery
anu college, either. He was the crack '
o.ne sity pitcher, you know."-Exchang'
eed- "I think, DEAR" said the bright {
t;sm you had better speak to father
/ il night" why tonight" particular
ver- asked the timid lover. as be 4
good humor this EVENING"" "V
q of he's in the humor to give me to you
ern- arranged with milliner, dressmf
lera- and dentist to send their bills to
that this morning. "-PhIladelph Press
tizen you sign this deed OF your
, OF free will, do you. madam" asked
his lawyer. What do you mean by tn
day demanded the large red-faced wor
have IT mean there has been no CON
e 10 sion on the part Of your husband,
shte- there?" "HlmT she calculated,
hap 49, :, ,oo,r AZ the meek little man
ling beside her; "Pd like to see
try to compulse me."-London