Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1905-11-11

up Ut S tonne take y'r insomnia
midicine.-Puck.
Yes, she's married to real estate
agent and a good, honest fellow, too"
My gracious. Bigamy Philadelphia
Press.
Jaggles-I see horse SHE'D at a
statue in Central Park. Waggles-He
must have been one of those educated
horses.-Puck
First Loafer--Did you help at the
IRE last night2 Second Loafer-Yes,
bit, | got out Of the way of the fire
engne,-Puck,
Fossenger-Iave l time to say good
by to my wife? onductor-Depends
on how long you've been married.
Fliegende Blaetter
Poet-This, sir is the only poem I
ever wrote. Editor-WelI cheer up.
Nobody's going to take it away from
you.-Cleveand Leader
What was your name before you
were married?" asked the Chicago
census taker. which timer" queried
the lady.--Detroit Free Press
What are the principal places of
interest about New York;" "Youn
have to ask some stranger. I've lived
here all my life, you know" Judge.
BlGrson~-My wife always insists on
having the last word! Bangs-Well,
you're lucky! Mine always insists on
having the last dollar!-Deuoit Free
Press.
Teacher Ito smallest boy In class)-
What well.known animal supplies You
with food and clothing. Smallest Boy
aftor some thoughU-My father
Judge,
Papa, what's man who runs an
auto caned?" at depends on whether
he is being called by his employer or
by the man he has just missed. -
Houston rost.
Il promised to make n call tonight"
said the man. preparing to 20 out.
"Nety we'll" replied the wife; but
don't clll unless you nave the cards.
Houston Post
The Writer see you've got my
latest book there. What do you think
OF It? The Rcader-Oh, I've only had
time to read the last few pages of 1t
as yet.-Tld-Bit
'Who is supporting Starlight this
season." His wife" Ills wife!
Xyb,. 7 ,,n,nr i,ra,,r pbo INNS ~, tho
stage" "She isn't; but she takes In.
washing. Baltimore American.
Singleton--Have you decided what
you are going to call the baby, old
man? Notwithstanding. I'm go
Ing to call him whatever my wife
names him.-Chlcago Daily News
Little Willie--Papa. why does the
railway company have those cases
with { c ak and saw in every carp
Father presume they are put in to-
use in case any one wants to open a,
wlndow.-Puck.
Hardupp-Have you a five dollar bill
you don't know what to do with?
Smyke--Yes, here Is one Hardupp-
Thanks-but, | say, this is a counter
felt! smyke-Well. you asked me for
one / didn't know what TO do WITH
Tales.
You haven't married me just to-
spite somebody else, have your" she
asked. looking anXiously up into his
honest blue eyes. mo, dear" he alb
nat ivI
your money alone, Chicago Record
Herald.
MA" exclaimed Bobby, "do YOU
like any one to bite your" mo, dear;
why?" well, Mr. Buttin just bit sis
ter on the mouth, and she put her
arms around his neck and tried to
choke him guess she doesn't like
It, either. Puck
"How did you like my talk last
night" asked the beginner in the lee
ture field. Well" replied the candid
critic, you didn't take advantage OF
your many opportunities. Il didn't
No, you had a number Of opportuni-
lies to quit before you did. PhiIadcl-
phia Press
Say" querled the sporty looking
man az be entered the intelligence.
office "can you procure a clerk ;or
ne with voice exactly like mineE"
Don't know" replied the manager;
what's the objectT Il want him -
stay at the Office every night and an
swer the telephone when my wife
rings up" explained the party Of The
sporty part-Chicago News.
LAS / was coming in just now, said
Mrs. Oldcastle, your footmau used an
epithet" My goodness"
replied her hostess. II must speak to
James about that. l simply won't put
up with It. Josiah says unless there's
less Of them used around here he'll
have to be gettin them by the whole
sale. never seen the way servants
do waste things when they amt tho
ones that have to pay for them. 49,
Chicago Record Herald