Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1905-12-08
GOOD
Short

The Shah of Persia Is said to have
once told the Duchess OF Westminster
that the fame OF her beauty mad
reached Teheran. 'Ah," said she to
some one who stood by. ''he takes me
for Westminster Abbey"
The story is told Of n well-known
mar who, not finding his wife, went
out into the kitchen where the laun-
dress was busy with the family linen,
and inquired: Bridget, do you know
anything of my wife's whereabouts
"Yis, sor,' replied Bridget, Il put them
III the wash"
Sydney Smith loved to tell n good
story; and one that haunted his brain
and tickled his sides for weeks was
that of n tame maybe in u church
that suddenly descended on the read
ing-desk and strove to fly off with the
sermon, and of the desperte struggle
that ensued between the bird and the
preacher--the congregation all in IA
vor Of the bird.
A story is told of the wonderful cure
from deafness Of Il patient who was
recommended to lear a Wagner opera,
and to sit near the orchestra by the
trombones. The physician accompanied
his patient, and sat beside him. Sud
denly, while the crash OF the instru-
ments was at It's loudest, the deaf nan
found he could hear Doctor" he al
most shrieked, II can hear" The doc
tor gave no sign that ne noticed tie
remark. Il tell you, DOCTOR repeated
the patient, in ecstasy, you have
saved me! 1 have recovered my hear
ing" Still the physician was silent.
He had become leaf himself.
Shortly after Garield's death, a
prominent politician made al address
upon the life Of the statesman before
q school. When he had finished, he
said: NOW, can any Of you tell me
what a statesman is?" A little hand
went up, and a little girl replied: "A
statesman Is a man who makes
speeches. Hardly that" answered
the politician, who loved to tell this
story. For instance, I sometimes
make speeches, and yet I am not a
statesman" The little hand again
went up, and the answer came, trium-
phantly: II know; a statesman is a
man who makes good speeches"
A private was brought up n morn
ing for a summary. His listless eyes
were about the only evidences Of his
previous nights %offense. NOW said
the captain, you may plead what you
like,'' but the culprlt noticed that the
captain was already looking up the
blue beck Cor the fine. "'Sdamn ont
rage" replied the accused men. Ten
dollars and ten days." said the cap.
tain; what have you got to say nowT
"'Sdamn outrage" repeated the &C
.cused. Ten dollars more" said the
captain; I'll just give you just enc
more chance to defend yourself.
.sSno use, captain. came the reply,
with considerable feeling; you're toe
good at repartee for me-
When the father Of the present Car
az Russia, after the death Of his minis.
ter OF finance, could find 70 successor
among the aristocratic clique, he re
celyed Sergius Witte in audience. The
following authentic and highly charac.
| iertfstic dialogue ioiiowed:@"I appa!n!
you herewith my minister Of finances
BY the way, I learned, Mr.. Witte, that
you are single Excuse me, sire"
exclaimed the hero of Portsmouth.
But the Gar said quickly and with
irritating emphasis: Then, tits I'M:
derstood, you are single Mr.. Whites
wife, who divorced her first husband,
Il Jewish banker, to share the destfnies
q, the Russian Colbert, as he Is called
by his admirers, does not
exist for the imperial court.