Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-12-24


peevish; I may even say that wife was
irritated. Every time she looked at me
got neuralgia In the face and when she
spoke my name my coat collar turned up
automatically
observe. said wife. in a. minute or
SO, that these packages bear your name.
Sure said .I'n explain as we walk
along. You see,
The matter has already been explained
TO my understanding said wife. I was
Standlng In this doorway waiting for a car,
when molasses- haired hussy with a
couple of green eyes in her brazen face and
near diamonds scattered all over her sys-
tenn, praneed UP to me. showed these bum
dies at me and said in her hard, bold voice:
Il got to drift along now, and If you'll
hold these bundles and give them to me
friend when he comes out FL be real
tickled. And say, just tell him that I'll
meet him tomorrow at IL o'clock on this
corner. -"
The large person wiped his brow and
brea thed heavily.
What happened?" asked the meek cit
izen with furtive grin.
Most everything replied the large per-
son, gloomily, and then few more. She
liar I'm more OF dub than l am other
ways, which Is coming some.
Did you finally square it? inquired the
meek citizen, with an appearance of deep
It Isn't Squared Yet.
Not what you would call square, re-
piled the large person with shake of his
head. mot exactly that. But got wife
feeling little better after awhile. and
everything was going fine. when got it
hard again."
1.-THE same way?" inquired the meek cit
izen.
NO, you fool replied the large person
with belligerent glare. I'm a rube all
a bunch of misteltoe. My wife's got this
Christmas spirit idea in her head, and she's
got misteltoe all over the house. Tells me
all the time that I'm too matter of fact,
that I don't enter into the spirit of the sea-
son. Well, the other day l was sitting
home reading, when there came a ring at
the bell and l drifted out to see what was
nice young thing all fixed regardless and
she wanted to stick me for a couple of
tickets for a Christmas charity bazaar. /
invited her In the parlor to talk 1t over.
and she was sitting In a chair right In the
middle of the room telling me all about
1t, when the lightning struck.
1.-THE what2" inquired the meek citizen.
"The lightning or something similar re-
pied the large person. Anyhow, this ticket
selling lady-and she was good locker,
too-suddenly glanced up and saw this mis-
tletoe. Gracious, she said with one OF
those naughty little looks, one of those
youre-so-b ig-and r m-so-little glances. AIM
I the careless thing. Here I sat right
down under this misteltoe and never mo-
tlCed II. cut suppose No BoI " cS
game around this season. Of the year
,'sWhat did you dor inquired the meek
citizen. with every appearance of Interest.
The Large Person Toed the Mark.
sYou ham, = replied the large person fero-
ciously what do you suppose did? Took
the lady by the neck and threw her out of
the window? Doubled up my first and hit
her between the eyes? Grabbed chair and
beat her over the head? Picked up the
piano stool and played the wedding march
on her topkIot? Why, did the only thing
a real human being could do. I toed the
mark and gave her a kiss you could hear
at the Center Market"
And then began.the meek citizen.
isJust then" replied the large person,
shaking his head with an air Of extreme
melanchoiias - 1t happened just then.
Wife had come drifting down, the hall to
see what was going on, and got there just
in time for the climax Of the first act.
"And then" said the meek citizen once
more.
.sThat'n be about ALL replied the large
person. .'That'H be just about all. Wife
and / haven't spoken since, and / have
spent about eighteen thousand dollars
more than ever expect to pay trying to.
make her sit up and take notice Shes got
it fixed up in her mind that I m a real devil
dame get my manners going. i can't stir
her out Of that state of m nd and she's
packing up to go to her mothers. And me
that hasn't hit the blazed trail for so long
I wouldn't know the way. That's me-
And the large person piled his remaining
packages in a wobbly pyramid and left the
car.