Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1905-01-28


caught up with us.-Yonkers States
man.
He--Has he college education?
She-oh, yes; he plays football, golf,
aud he's crackajack at tennis. Iou-
kers Statesman.
Gcrald-Mamma. can you change *
cents Tor me? Mother-How do YOU
wish it changed dear? Gerald Into
Il quarter Puck.
What initiates man more than
to see Il woman get off the car back
ward:" "Giye it mp" "Nothlng."--
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Think twice before you speak. And
even then, nine times out OF ten. the
world won't lose anything IL you keep
StilI.- SomCrville Journal
How did the wedding come of last
night e without a hitch" Glad to
hear it, 4 said without a hitch The
bride backed ont Mt the last minute -
Omaha News
Minnie must be losing my good
looks Harry Why? Minnie sold
only twelve tickets for the charity raf-
fle. against twenty one last year Chi
cago Daily News.
TO what account shall we scharge
these new battleships!' asked the Rus
sian treasury official. "Thc sinking
fund. answered his superior, YEARLY.
Washington Star.
ny do You keep two automo-
hiles 2" Il use the second one 10 bring
along the things I'm likely 10 need in
keeping the FIRST one in running or
der. Chicago Record Herald.
Have no fear" said the sheriff TO
the negro prisoner; you will be hung
according to law" Thank de Lawd"
exclaimed the prisoner. Il is ter die Il
mat RAJ death Atlanta Constitution.
Father Cwho has been asked for his
daughters handl--i Louise. do you know
wbnt solemn thing 1t Is to be mar
rivd. Louise oh, YES, pm. but 1t is
n good deal more solemn being single.
indy.
Artist at work. Now, give me your
honest opinion Of this picture Visitor
twho fUucics himself critic IT'S ut
tcrly worthless, Artist tdreamlly) -
N-c-es but give il all the same Lon
don Punch
GfIie- Did You ever actually know
of man making q mountain out OF a
molchill3 Spinks-- Well, the proprie-
tor Of she hotel ! stopped ut last sum
mer came very near doing it In his
prospectus Puck.
40 You loTe Your teacher. Wen
denT'' 1T les scarcely to be expected. -
answered the little Boston boy. that
one can love ones teacher, but / have,
/ trust. the requisite feeling Of tolcr-
ancc for her. thicago Tribune
Ali" said Mr. Borem, sitting with
her in secluded bower near the
moonlt lake isn't it delightful to be
out here alone" Yes | was enjoying
it So before you came she replied,
promptly Philadelphia Ledger.
limits Mrs Marrimuch, our soci-
ETY. leader explained the man who
know MY you don't say replied
the plehrian. she's in half mourning,
isn't shet' Yes You see. three Of
h"r six husbands are dead FIX
Doetor-Yo owe me a bill Of $50.
Slow pay Wen, If / had a job / might
pay you, Can't you give me n job?
Doctor-What kind OF a job could
give you? Slowpay Well you might
give me- the job OF collecting the bill.
--Puek.
TWO little maids OF four and six
years, respectively, were seated Oh a
stool Presently the elder OF the two
said reHcctiyely; Don't you think
bat II one OF us was TO get mp there
would be more room for me#'-Chi-
-ago Record Herald.
Vow. dear" said Mr. PolkIey. who
had Just been accepted, when shall
speak to your father" you needn't
bother" replied the dear girl PA
said he'd speak 10 you tomorrow ~
You didn't speak to me tonight. '--
Philadelphia Public Ledger.
what is q counter-irrltantt" asked
MrR %iiilIItFAs a counter lTIiiHNl.
Ircallcd Smithera "is n woman who
makes the -hopman pull down every
lining from the shelves for two hours.
land then buys q penny worth OF hair
lpins. Washington Mirror.
Mrs. schoppen-~I want 1--WE pounds
IF sugar, please Grocer -Yes'm; any
thing else? Mrs Schoppen--No. that's
.lU. I'll take it with me II it Isn't too
heavy a package. Grocer Oh, itll
)ny weigh three OF four pounds,
na'am Philadelphia Press.
That's the best can do for you
said the theatrical manager. you've
boon Idle all season so far now. VIII
gou stay idle the rest Of the season. or
AXE this small part:' I'll take it,"
replied the comedian; lin this case Il
small role is better than whole loaf"
Philadelphia Ledger.