davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31

perfumery to the natives. who wouia
all be improved by using kerosene on
their persons. Then I would get on
n barrel, on deck of my flagship. and
command the English general to sur
render Internationally, and IL he re-
fused, I would set q slow match on
every oil vessel, and have the crews
get in skiffs and pull for the opposite
shore. and when the oil got on FIRE
and rolled up all over Gibraltar, and
burned every living thing, would
throw water from the fire department
boat on the rock, and she would split
open and roll all over the prairie, and
then would bury the creu 4ted dead
out on the desert, and seek other
worlds to conquer. like Alexander the
Great. But don't be afraid. won't
do 1t unless they make me mad, but
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31
TO THE BISHOPS TASTE.
Nutmeg That Wasn't Nutmeg Pleased
His Prelate Just ~ Well
Nutmeg.

The late Bishop Green on one Of his
diocesan visitations stopped with an old
friend at Sewanee, Tenn, relates Lippin-
colts Magazine.
At the early supper Of the south, al.
ways a most informal meal, the bishop
said he would have nothing but q dish Of
bonny-clabber, little nutmeg sprinkled
over.
There amt bit of nutmeg in the
house." exclaimed the maid when the re.
quest was repeated to her.
Dear me" said the hostess, soto voce
go to Mrs. Darlington next door and ask
her to lend me q nutmeg"
Mrs. Darlington also was "out" Of nut.
Then 60 to Mrs. Harding, on the other
side, we can't all be out at once; then
bring the bishop the dish quickly"
The hostess kept up rapid fire of
bright talk TO cover the hiatus in the
service until the maid appeared with the
desired dish.
what an addition is the little sprinkle
Of nutmeg" said the bishop; what fine
relish it gives"
When the good guest had retired the
mistress said to the maid:
Go to the supply store the first thing
in the. morning and get nutmegs, and re.
turn the nutmeg to Mrs. Harding and"
But Mrs. Harding was out Of nutmegs,
too"
'.Then where did you get any,"
ia, miss, / was dat worritted out dat
I des tuck a wooden handle to a ole shoe
buttoner an grated it on"
And the bishop had relished it. So
much for the power of suggestion.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31
cnoRaF 6oid Z RI atEver Nest.

A pair Of crows have constructed q
nest ont of gold and silver spectacle
frames purloined from the factory OF
Messrs. Lawrence and Mayo, in Bonn
bay. The materials for this nest (of
which the value is about e3O were
stolen by the willy crows during the
luncheon hour. 1t was noticed that
the. spectacle frames were disappear
ing from the factory In a mysterious
manner, hit it was some time before
the thief was Observation-Disclosures
PiOpser.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31
HOPED TO BE STIRRING.
Uriu Was Enclosed in the Room BY
Much Sickness" But
Was Brave.

Admiral Uriu is among the officers Of the
japanese navy who began acquiring hon
ors early in the fight with the Russians. A
Detroit boy" who has advanced rapidly
in our own navy, relates the Free Press,
writes this home:
"Uriu received his nautical education at
Annapolis. No one was ever harder
student or more conscientious IN the per-
Torrance Of the manifold duties imposed
upon a cadet,
tome day he was i'll. The surgeon ex.
amined him and made q report that Uriu
was not in condition to perform his daily
work. But the little fellow had sense Of
obligation beyond this, and wrote thus to
his favorite instructor:
You have seen that I do not to-day
stand before you. / am inclosed in the
room by much sickness. I do not feel like
making the stir. To morrow l hope great.
~ to find it easy to make the STIR"
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31
BY HON. GEORGE W. PECK.

BY HON. GEORGE W. PECK.
Ex-Governor OF Wisconsin. Former Ed
itor OF "Pecks SUM-" Author OF
Peck's Bad Boy" Etc)
Copyright. 1906. by Joseph d. Bowleso
Gibraltar. In Spain and England
My Dear Foster Uncle: 1t seems good
to get somewhere that you can hear
the English language spoken by the
Irish, and the English soldiers are
nearly alk,irish. When you think OF
the way the British government treats
the Irish. and then you look on while
an orderly sergeant calls the roll OF q
company, and find that nine out OF ten
answer to Irish names. and only one
out of ten has the cockney accent, you
feel that the Irish ought to rule Eng
land, and an O'ROurke or an OShan-
messy should take the place OF King
Edward. II makes a boy who was
brought up In an Irish ward In Amer
ica feel like he was at home to mix
with British soldiers who come from
the old sod.
Dad says that there is never an
army anywhere in the world, except
che armies of Russia and Japan, that
the bravest men are not answering to
Irish names, and always on the ad-
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31

you watch my smoke IL they peck on
your little Hennery too much, when he
grows up.
But I haven't any kick coming about
Gibraltar, cause they treated dad and
| all right, and the commander detailed
an ensign to show us all through the
fortress. Now don't get an ensign
mixed up with unique, such as showed
us through the Turkish harem. An
English ensign is just as different
from a Turkish unique as you can
imagine. Every man to his place.
YOU couldn't teach Turkish unique
how to show visitors around an Eng
lish fortress, and an English ensign In
a Turkish harem would bring on q
worlds war, they. are so different
Well, We went through tunnels in the
rock, and up and down elevators, and
all was light as day from electric lights,
and We saw ammunition enough to
sink all the ships in the world, If IL
could be exploded in the right place,
and they have provisions enough
stored in the holes in the rock to keep
an army for 40 years, If they didn't get
ptomaine poison from eating canned
stuff.
1t was all a revelation to dad, and
when we got all through, and got out
into the sunlight, we bFeathed free, and
when dad got his second wind he broke
up the English officers by taking out q
pencil and piece Of paper, and asked
them what they would take for the
rock and its contents, and move out and
let the American flag float over it.
Well, say, they were hot, and they
told dad to go plum to, but dad wouldn't
do it. He said America didn't want
the old stone quarry, anyway, and If
It did, 1t could come and take 1t!
guess they would have had dad arrested
for treason, only when we got out into
the town there was the whole British
Atlantic squadron lined up, with men
up in the rigging like monkeys, and
every vessel was firing salute, as al
yacht came steaming by.
Dad thought war had surely broke
out, or that some rich American owned
the yacht but 1t turned out to be Queen
AlexandrfH and party of tourists, and
when the bank played God Save the
Queen" dad got up on his hind legs
and sang: so loud you would think he
would split hiss ,lf. and fellow went
up and threw his arms around dad, and
began to weep, and the tears came into
dads eyes, and another fellow pinched
6aA;R WRteh snG the celebration closed
RItl tttyts|'y 4 O. Sling 1r1Hl 6rt
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31

Ca. hut I would be sorry 1Or the
Irish soldiers, but / guess they
wouldn't be there, cause they wouldn't
fight America
We'll. II England ever has big war.
and she gets chesty about Gibraltar,
and SAYS it is impregnable, and de-
fies the world to take 1t, I bet you ten
dollars It could be taken in "a hours
III was a general, or IN admiral
would have about 40 tank steamers,
loaded with Kerosene, and have them
land innocent like, right up beside
Gibraltar. ostsnsihly to sell oil for
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31

vance In fight, or in the rear wher
there Is q retreat. Dad says thai
incur own army, and when the north and
south were fighting, the Irish boys
were the fellows who saved the day
They wanted to fight nights and Sun
days, and never struck for an eight
hour day, or union wages. When the
lighting was over, and soldiers were
sick. or discouraged. and respondent,
an Irish soldier would come along,
maybe on crutches. or with bullet in
his innards. and tell funny stories and
fmake the discouraged fellows laugh in
,spite of themselves, and when another
fight was on, you had to tie the wound
ed Irish soldiers to their cots in the
hospital. or put them in Jail, to keep
them from forgetting their wounds
= and going to the front for one more
fight. Dad says II there was an Irish
nation, with an army and navy, the
0hoie world would have to combine to
whip them, and yet the nation that
has the control of the Irish people
i treats them worse than San Francisco
, treats Cinnamon, makes them live on
] potatoes, and allows landlords to take.
away the potatoes If they are shy on
tsse rent.
Gee. dad looked over my shoulder,
and saw what l had written, and he
caffsd me on the side Of the head, and
said was an incendiary, and that /
Ought to have sense enough not to
write treason while a guest on Brit
iah soil.) Well, don't care a darn.
It makes me hot under the collar when
IFthink of the brave Irish fellows, and
n wonder why they don't come to
America in a body and be aldermen
and policemen. When get home l
am going to join the Fenians, and
raise thunder just as quick as ! am
old enough.
Well. sir, we have been through the
Suez canal, and for q great modern
niece of engineering 1t doesn't size
am with a sewer in Milwaukee, or a
,havou in Louisiana. It is just dig
ing a railroad cut through the desert,
and letting in the water, and there
YOU are. The only question in its
construction was plenty OF dredging
machines, and a place to pile the dirt
and water that just came in of its own
accord. and stays there, and smells
Itlvethunder, and you ssee the natives
look at It and keep away from the
hanks. for fear the banks will cave In
ON them, and give them q bath before
their year is up, cause they dont
bathe but once q year. and when they
akin a year nobouy knows about it.
Our boat went right along, and go'
.out Of the canal, because 1t was
mail boat, but the most OF the boats We
saw were tied up to the bank, waiting
for the millennium. We saw some Rus
alan boats waiting for the war u
blow over, and as we passed then
every Russian on board looked scared
as though we were Japs, that were 60
ing to fire a torpedo under them o.
.tsTOv Q bomb on deck, and when on
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31
nigreputable Club.

There Is q little club In London oalla4
the Froth Blowers club. The organtzA-
ton meets In public houses" End every
memhsE Is bound to swear and cursA Il
every meeting or be fined e cents
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31

No politician can afford to tell the truth
that is to say, exactly what he thinks.
And no politician can safely tell lie, un-
less he has a good memory. But then Q
man without good memory doesn't
amount to much az q p0litoisn.-Boston
Transcript.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31
vardstick Of sumner Yina,

Mrs. Knicker-How lang VIII you be
away this summer?
Nh. Bocker-I deaf know. I shall
stay q. 900 at the seaside and $500 at the
mountain8-N Z. sun.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31

The Bad Boy Describes q Trip on the
suez Canal-He Goes Up Through
Gibraltar In an Elevator-He Out
lines a Gigantic Plan for the Cap
ture of the British Fortress.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31

Don't Get Footsore! Get foot:Hase.
A wonderful powder that cures tired hot
aching feet and makes new or tight. shoes
easy. Ask to-day for Aliens Foot Ease.
Accept no substitute. Trial package FREE.
Address A. s. Olmsted. lie Roy. N. Y.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31

or course we all know what ought 10
have happened to the ailing small boy
whose mother gave him ten cents to 90 TO-
the drug store to get dose of castor oil
and who spent it for an ice cream Soda
Boston Globe,
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31

The man who hurries along the streeAs
is likely to be overcome by the heat, and
if he goes slow an automobile may rum
over him.-TOledo Bee.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31

Ward Seminary, Nashville, Tenn, =
ideally located to educate girls. Pupils
have every city advantage and all outdoor
sports on q beautiful suburban campus.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31

When it comes to a choice i,s fstkef's
mind between buying a new suit for him.
self or party dress for his daughter he
knows what his wife thinks withoaE asiE.
inH-Chicago Daily News.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31
The Splendid Passenger Service Of
the Wicket Plate Road

tho NICKEL Plate Road
has become popular because Of the care
and attention. SHOWN patrons Of this line.
Colored Porters in uniform are in attend
ance on both lst and End class passengers:
Ladies. travelling alone or accompanied
by children, are shown special attention.
Excellent Dining and Sleeping Car Serv-
ice, and no excess fares charged on any
tram. All trains. depart from La Sale
Street. Station, Chicago. For fuIl IN
formation regarding tickets, rates, routes,
j. z. Callahan, General Agent III Adams
st., Chicago.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31

S56!0O per II. Lewis "Single Binder"
straight Sc. cigar. costs the dealer some
more than other 81. cigars, but the higher
price enables this factory to use higher
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31
Who Knowse

British Tourist say, what makes you
Americans talk with their noses?
Americana say, what makes you Brit
ishers talk with your don't.you.knowses?
Chicago Journal.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31

And speaking of the yellow fever mos.
quito the horror grows when it is found
that his nhmeris stegomyia fascinta.-Chi-
cago Chronicle.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31

Most Americana eat too fast and too
much, but the grocer and the butcher
aren't the ones that are calling attention
to the evil-Somerville journal.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31

The finish of great many real life TO-
mances reminds US of msn who runs like
mad to catch trolley car that is stalled
IN the next block.-Chicago Tribune. /,
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31

Are your cothes faded? Use Red Crosa
Ball Blue and make them white again
Large 2 OF. PACKAGE scents
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31

The manifest destiny of most of US 10
not to get along-very fast unless we hustle.
Puck.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31

Make haste SLOWLY, il fypuu would gut SieA
quickly.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31

Most of us would be perfect III w fol.
lowed the advice we give Others:
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-02-14
WEATHER REPORT

Record at the local office Of the weather
bureau Tor the q hours ending at Q a. M
today
Barometer reading az a, M, 25.qS3
Inches, temperature at "a. m, 70 degrees
which Is 10 below normal '' 80
Deficiency Of the daily mean tempera.
turc since the first Of The MONTH d de-
grccs
Excess Of daily moan temperature since
Precipitation since the first Of tho
month, ~ inch, which IS 81 inch above
the normal,
deficiency I'm precipitation since Jan.
l. 10 inch
FORECAST TILL GP. NJ. WEDNESDAY
Local forecast Tor SAT- Lake city and
Fair tonight and Wednesday, slowly
rising temperature
tol Utan. -,rorecast taken at Denver
CuloD:
Fair tonight and Wednesday slowly
rising temperature.
West wyoming.
Fair tonight and Wednesday; warmer
Wednesday and north portion tonight
WEATHER CONDITIONS
The temperaturo has risen IN all dis
trlcts except ,the Gulf and Atlantic
states ohio valley Tennessee and lower
lake whore a decided fan was reported
with temperature considerably below
freezing 90 the Gulf coast and Florida.
Zero temperature was reported as far
south as Asheyille, ~ G.
Precipitation was reported over portions
Of Montana the extreme northwest Mis-
souri, and upper Mississippi valleys, lake
region, ONO valley Tennessee, Atlantic
and east Gulf states
The barometer Is highest over the Gulf
and south Atlantic states, Rocky noun
tain slope and plateau region and lowest
oyer the south Pacific coast, upper Mis-.
sls5lppi valley ana lake region
T. j. HYATT,
Local FOtoCaster.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-02-14
VALENTINE DEMAND.
Great Call for Pretty Sentimental Gre
atoms All Local Records Broken.

The predictions OF the jobbers a
month ago. that this Valentine season
would prove a busy and very likely a
profitable one, have been verified, for
It is claimed that over million Of the
little love mlssiycs were sold yesterday
IN this city alone, to say nothing Of
what was done at ogden and Provo.
one large firm reported having dis
posed Of $4,000 valentines, and florists
had their hands full In responding to
the call for flowers which are steadily
encroachlng on the field OF the valen-
tine proper The valentines cost from
one cent up to $40, and senli-occasonal-
ly Sl5, but the great bulk OF those sold
ranged from a nickel 10 twO-b bits The
lace article held It's own, as II always
has, for the youthful mind Is easily
caught and held fast I'm the last Of lace
Illusion, and a great quantity Of these
We're sold.
Various devices were resorted to by
dealers to sell, and numerous small
articles Of apparel disguised as val
entlnes were disposed Of to a profit
one firm fixed up ladies' stocking sup
porters In neat and attractive boxes
with the legend. "To my sweetheart"
and the result was the ready sale Of
quantity Of what would have been
slow selling article. The counters In
the book and notion stores We're be-
seiged all the afternoon and evening by
children intent on purchasing and
clerks found II was necessary to watch
the counters closely for little fingers
that were getting away with the goods
without paying for the same. Notwlth-
standing all the vigilance exercised
several hundred dollars worth OF val
entines must have been taken surrepu-
tlously from the store counters. one
child had her school book full Of ilve-
cent valentines when caught. store
keepers generally contented themselves
with administering severe lectures In
stead Of calling the police.
There was little or no call for the
penny cancaturcs that years ago sold
so we'll Not few dealers refuse to
handle them. and the public demand for
such monstrosities has fallen OF great
". II is predicted that n few years
they viii have disappeared altogether
II has been great season for attrac-
tive novelties and the designer who
Fought out the cutest things, made the
lost money.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-02-14
"MORMONS" PRAISED.


MIR. George C. Lambert Of this city is
In receipt OF a. letter from Mr. W. w.
Mcclellan Of Denver In which some In
terestlng passages occur, The writer says;
"For several years, as you know, !
have made my summer visits 10 Salt
Lake city, frst went with the expecta-
ton that ! would meet sober, industrious,
and. as natural sequence, honest men
and women was not disappointed then
and have not been on later occasions.
Utah and her affairs have been proml-
ncntly before the people of the country
for the past year People have stayed over
a day and have left thinking they had
acquired sufficient amount Of knowledge
TO confOund the work Of men who have
grown up I'm Utah.
"a few days ago | attended a luncheon
OF the Denver Real Estate Exchange, II
you have not one IN your city get TO work
and organize one. Gov, AlVa Adams
made a i5-minutc talk In which he praised
the real estate men, not so mucn TOT stH-
ing lands az for getting men interested
I'm buying and owning land. During MS
short talk. while disclaimining any, de-
sire TO discuss certain phases Uellglousl
nf Mormonism he paid q glowing tribute
Of praise to Brigham Young, whom ne
classed as one Of the worlds great
prophets, who had done much TO give a
practical religion to the world, In the
course OF his remarks the governor SAID!
F" So long as the Mormon Church can
send out her evangelsts to the htty mil
lions OF landless men who are hungry 20
own a home. saying 10 them, at Is part
OF our religion that God gave the lana
to the people FOR homes ana 80 long as
they can 20 with this message, neither
the president nor Congress nor any more
human power can make them less than
the MOTmons are today-one, or lh'
strongest religions Of the world because
founded largely on ownership Of the
lands
Nov thought that this TO you coming
from one who has been three times hon
ored with an election as governor Of our
state. would be interesting
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-02-14

not In the habit Of making any rash de-
cislons. They had clear and iucOntrOvcr-
tlble evidence before them that the Pa
cihc National league had failodNtu quail
~ and they declared the league dissolved.
/ have letters and kilograms IRON the
national board bearing out all / have
said. The statement made by MI VIII
llams and his associates that msrcpro.
scented everything to the national boarl
Is absurd
Indirectly ! have been accused Of sharp
practise, Of Incorporating funds. II
was limited that | kept the ~. lection fees
and never sent them on to Secretary Far
rell Tho accusation is without tounda-
ton The other day ! received letter
from Secretary Farrell containing thrca
checks OF so each 10 be refunded =
the proper parties IN spokane, Boise anu
II Immediately mailed the checks BY
registered letters TO c. II Williams, city,
Joseph Geoghegan Salt Lake CITY; and
John Mcmillan Boise. These checks with
vouchers attached certainty ought 10
stop the malicious tongues Of thosa who
limited that / did not send on the prOtcr-
ton fees TO Secretary Farrell, but APP
prOpriated them to my own use,
While the disposition IL TO wait for the
decision Of the National association, they
feel that on the merits Of the case thev
are entitled 20 protection, and that fall
ing 10 get IL they will 20 ahead anyhow
ignoring the other League and plan the
seasons ball salt Lake may thc' De ass
sured Of ball Of some Sort outlaw or
regular,