The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1905-04-08
The Odd Names of Some Towns,

From ;he Sru Yosk Tribg1sr.
The names 1t ~ornr towns in the United
States probably cause their inhabitants e1n-
siderable yexaiions when away from home.
These names have certain peculiar mean
iugs 10 everyday talk, and a. soon as they
are mentioacd they are az, to prompt
troublesome questions by iunmakers For
example. the man from Alone. ny. might
have 70 explain 10 stranger living IN New
York how be could d. business ii be were
the only inhsbitani, and how the excise
laws we're enforoed II the bsrkesper, the
iopeT the policeman aud the magistrate
were al oue and the same. aud. in ea~e
shere wers more than oae perSon IN Alone,
II all we're bachelors aud old maids Citi-
sens or Lonely, y, e., and I.0ssesotae,
~. would encounter much the same sort
d questions, and al. oG course. would IN
aily b. asked Il they Wvrc once Jersey com
matrr,
Ifa man hailci from AFFINITY, y C.,
be would naturally he saPposed 10 be mar
ned and hi holne life an uupunciured
chapter Of bliss lie would he expsesevi
e. wear as vide smile as the citizen uf
joy. OF Happy, Tex. OF Paradise. Col,
with a temper as sabdne,l as the inhabi-
tants of Purity. MINI What would hap
pen. however. II the rzan fruin Affinity
should u,ert a man fran Pcacc. Ala
would indeed be prohlema,ical They
a a a.
ers. boom the merits Of their respective
,owns with saeh ador that At last these
representatives Of Peace and Affinity would
coa,e 10 blows. They nigh, Al las, de-
velop A. much disrrlish for each ether as
the citiren Of Cream, Wis. who should
chancc To take dinner with a citizen Of
Caviar. Y j. Oa the other hand, they
might become a. chammy A. the towns
men Of iho~c three towns ia the states 81
Colorado. Oregon and We~, Virginia.
which all bear the name Crook
Anyone coming from Eye, \. G.. could
hardly expect to JOIN 'he New York Police
force and find things eohgenial II he was
a native Of lax. Ala. or Blind Bay, La
on the contrary, his duties as metropolitan
blnecua, might prove cungenial. II he
said he was from Seldom, O.. be would
most likely he tnld that his own town must
need his services more. Ifhe replied that
it didn he might be recommended to Try
to get position in Pluto, Miss
Near the Green River in Kentucky, aud
several miles south Of Lewiston. there IS a
town by the name Of Pig !, has never
been recorded in any history of the United
States whether the characteristics Of the
people Of Pig are any different from those
Of the people OF Lamb, ILL.,, or Chickies,
Pa. This is certainly to be regretted. 1t
would certainly be interesting to know il
the worthy burghers Of Pig are any more
happy and contented than other human
beings, whether they have such ills as in
somnia, nervous prostration OF melaneho-
LA, whether there Is any sale in Pig ior
appetizers, and what the good people do on
Fridays.
Should a woman from Biz Foot, Tex.
or Antiquity, Ohio, advertise for hus-
band, it is safe to say she would not get
as many answers as a woman from Beauty
W. Va The man who hailed from jug,
Ala, might have more difficulty in being
elected TO the White Ribbon Society than
his contemporary from Dry Town, Cal.
The native of Magic, Ala, would no doubt
be welcomed by certain Wall street officers,
where a citizen from Fairplay, Wis, would
find the door shut. Should the woman
from Alamode, Mo, or Fashion, Ga. ,
meet woman from Jaysville, Ohio, the
two might get into such controversy that
at the end they would both be believed to
be natives of Looneyville, \. Y. The
citizen of Fossil, Ore, unlike the citizen
from Quick, Neb. would no doubt feel
very much at home in Philadelphia, and
for much the same reasons the representa-
tive of Fact, Kan, wonld find congenial
atmosphere in Boston Negetarians should
go to Grass, s ID.
Any one might think that Ice, Ga,
would become more popular summer re-
sort than He'll Hole, Col. \ jury made
| up of men half of whom were born in ia
pan, Mo, and the other half in Russia,
n. Y, would be pretty sure to disagree.
At any rate they would not call in man
fram Jingo, Tenn, for a peacemaker.
| Should the girl from Leapyear, Tenn, be
come dissatisfied with things at home there
is little danger of her settling in Bachelor,
Mich. Neither would the man from Ian
gor, MINI, think of moving to Jump,
! Ohio.