New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-06-15
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Tt is said by THE London Express that well
educated Partisan named Georges Teyron earns
comfortable livelihood by figuring the four
teenth guest at dinner parties which otherwise
would be attended by only thirteen persons
Jum-They say Broke married to settle dis
Bo-with the girl?
The Tattler'' tells of Pat OHoolgan. who went
one day to pay his respects to Father --.
''weIl Pat" said the priest Its long time since
you came to me- "Begorrah thin. drained
of your reverence last night" We'll. what did
you dream, Pat?" "T drained that I called on
your reverence and your reverence asked me If
would take g. drap of the crathur. 'Bedad will
then says l. And will you take It hot or cold7
says your reverence. I'll take It hot. says 1. And
when your reverence went to get the hot water
woke and I've been sorry ever since that didn't
take 1t cold
Always the same-'.Bilders wife has very even
Very Her irritability never varies,"-Qife.
SCHOONER" according to aThe Indianapolis
News is word of American manufacture AT
Gloucester Mass, about 1713 Captain Andrew Rob
inson built the first vessel called by that
AS it off the stocks into the water bystander
shouted: "Oh. how she scoonsr' (skims). Robinson
instantly said: "a sooner let her be- The name
has been universally adopted, but. singularly
enough is spelled in the Dutch manner, though it
is provincial English.
THE AUTOCRAT
O. Teacher, what's an Autocrat?
hated parsonage my child,
Defenseless Prolstariat.
And who's the Proletariat?
The luckless masses, who would like,
With bricks, the Autocrat to strike
Or rope him with lariat;
Yet-nsrk you this: when one of that
Indignant throng amasses pelt.
He buys autocar himself.
And is. thsnceforth, Autocrat
-Qife.
Business men should be careful" writes a cor
respondent Of a London newspaper, ito read their
typewriter correspondence before committing it to
the post. I have received typewritten letter from
a gentleman OF German extraction who informs
me that he Ia wholesale tobacconIst and cigar
imposter'
A Poser-Richard Jordan. the famous Scottish
Wf even praise said Mr JoTdan the in
dependence of the American waiter. In Europe the
waiter is obseQuious, not out Of any real respect
for you; but because. without, this hypocritcal
Here in America there is no need for any strong
to starve to death. and the waiter need not be
Mr.. Jordan smiled
.I meet the most peculiar walters" he said. Tho
Wafer. is this pork chop or mutton chopy
Well, then, said the waiter what difference
does 1t make which 1t isT -(Harlequin.
In the town of Merriwa in New South Wales. a
plague Of mice is disturbing the people. Recently
10000 mice killed in four nights in one store
Upward OF 500 were captured while cricket net
being unrOlled. -Four five bushels of oats
In bag appropriated by the mice In a night
A local well ceased to yield water and on exanina-
ton IL found to contain a solid mass of dead
mice, several feet deep. Food. water and bedding
overrun, contaminated and injured. The towns
people fighting the terrible little vistors night
and day, but at last accounts they had made little
impression upon the swarms OF vsrmn
LOVE IN A FLAT
Love a cottage! That is out of date
Love in a hat-that is modern
Furnished for ninety-ntne and ninety eight
The two odd cents the pair may put away.
sort Of nest egg for rainy day.
Considerable, I'm sure, to think of thasI
1t sounds all right. but there be. I pray,
Love in hat7
Love in a cottage, rose embowered, seems
To any one in love prospect fair.
Dtscordant sounds and alien cooking steams
Colin and Chloe do not have to bear;
The lack OF steam will not make Colin swear
And haste to beard that naughty autocrat.
The tantor, down In his basement lair.
Love In a fat2
And in a cottage howsoever small.
There's room at least to let ones chest expand
Without pe-force adiourning to the hall
I'm speaking of small flats. understand,
-Four and 4 bath. not apartment grand
Where there's not room enough to swing q cat
Well. there's still space for happy couples and
Love In natl Chicago News