The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-30

II AVIXCX Ut 4 III 4S18
..yyhat kind of a man is Dickers?''
'tStinav. II he believed in the orthodo1
idea of future punishment he get se srse
satisfaction out OF the prospect "a
fuel. Washington Star.
Mrs. Nuriteh-I want to get par OF
swell white gloves to wear TO q pail-
CIerk-Yes'rn m. How long do you Want
them2
amt taikin' about rentin en-; I want 70
buy em.-Philadelphia Ledger
why, you tried before you were mar
ried to give it up and you couidn l.
II had no wife and mother-in-AsW ~
help me then Houston Post
kitty had never seen a gas meter be
.e How does isgg0, paDaF" she asked. BY
com T }P;,,e o arr dear h. aid probably
expanded ir.''-Chicago Tribune
Judee-wlere you present when the tr9u-
bic started between the man and his
Witness-Yes. sir. was at DER wed-
din, ef dat's whut yo' means, sah.-Phil-
adelphia Bulletin.
Dumley-say, you'd better take some~
thing for that cold, old man. Now
Wise-Don't offer me any more please
I've taken too much ALREADY.
Wise-Advice.- Philadelphia Press
Towne-I hear 1Iarryat and his bride
are no longer living at that clearinghouse
Browne-No. they've gone to housekeep-
Towne-Ahi their home life now will
bring them much closer together, and
Browne--You bet it will; they've taken
fiat-Philadelphia Press.
.Jilson-How's your rheumatism today,
Bilil1ins-It's working overtime. thank
you; but I'm not able to do much myself
Chicago News.
Jack the Giant Killer explained his sew
en- league boots.
after the campaign managers got through
pulling my leg he said
Thus we see that even. fairy tales are
founded on grim realities Of 1fe.-New
York Sun
you're inordinately selfish. Don't you ever
perform any act Of sacrifice2
home late from the club and find my wife
IN an inquisitive mood sacrifice the truth
bit.-Philadelphia Press.
Jones-If you had your choice of every
thing going, what kind of a job would you
Bones-I think the fifth wheel on an
AUTOMOBILE would just about suit me-
Detroit Free Press.
Here y are! Extryr' yelled the news
boy. Big aceidentr'
What was the accident. boy2" asked
why, de accident wuz dat anuder stin-
gy cuss like you onct found out de news
from me widout buyin' paper. PHIL
adelphia Press.
Jenks-why did you say mo" when
Mrs. Boston asked you If you'd like to
have a drink?
Lusehman-she didn't-weIl. I declare.
7e asvf71 z17fa -eT-1
I'd have a "CaledOnian altitudinous
sphere. '-Phiiadelphia Ledger.
DO you think it pays to be generous7"
asked the man Of doubtful mind.
We'll. that depends" replied the phil
anthropist. ITO tell the truth, it isn't the
money I've given away that I regret, it's
what I've lent'-Detroit Free Press.
Mrs. Knieker-Did you see vanderlip's
Mrs. Bocker-Yes. it sounds exactly like
Henry when I ask for the new dress
New York Sun.
II fear she won't enjoy herself in heav-
'sWhy not?'-
postal cards from here.''-Pittsburg
PA, what's the difference between a
profession and a trader"
THE man who works at a trade quits
when his eight hours are up. The man
who follows profession has to keep on
until his work is done.'-Chieago Rec
Ord-Herald.
"And what recommendations has this
man whom you are pushing so vigorous
~ for the presidency of our insurance
company
"Fie is an unmarried orphan. with no
brothers or sisters '-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Your father is certainly the politest
man 1 know"
What makes you say that?"
Hes pretending that he's cured of his
dyspepsia in order that he shall not hurt
the doctors feelings. New Yorker.
What silly verses that woman is re-
citingi"
Il wrote them. sir
'Ah-oh. yes-to be sure-clever lines,
but horribly delivered, don't you know
woman must be a fool to bungle EN- So
who is she2''
My wife, sir."-C1eveIand Leader
Toni hear you called upon Miss Sub
bulbs last night
Dick-Yes and it was as much as Z
could do to tear myself away
Tom-She is fascinating, isn't she2
Dick-Oh, I wasn't thinking of her h1it
of her fathers bulldog-Philadelphia Led
ger.
GLOBE SIGHTS.
From the Atchison Globe.1