The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-06-04

I'm n, a mar, can bring himself to real
sye that three fourths OF the house ne
soccupes must be surrendered to ms VIE VIE : :
5icIothes. he should not dare to call hlnnselt
Ia veteran In matrimony.
And OF all the bitter irony IN the socia !
speech OF our language, there is none
y which SO stings ms that which refers 70
n i.husband's wardrobe. AS mater :
of fact, the average husband Is lucky ~
his wardrobe is as big as a cigar box.
Whatever the patient brute may by
as n depository for his raiment. he soon
finds that the receptacle Is overrun win
those mysterious articles OF attire when
GO to bcdeck the fearful, self wilied sex.
It,s no use saying. Dear. YOU take TINS
big wardrobe or this big. wall closet nna
"a leave me the little one. Inc screii.e
does not work and your sugees''o ,, -
totally unnecessary In the first pace,
even as you are speaking, the whimsical
creature already has the big wardrobe
and in the second place, she's not GONG
TO be satisfied with it. The very next
day, sandwich in among your camphor
scented winter trousers, your sacred 1roch
coat and your moth eaten swalloWtaH.
YOU will be surprised to unearth rainy
day skirt an Elton jacket. a Raglan coat
(held for sale until the cook can raise
Ss) and various and sundry other artlcles
not necessary to mention here.
Z This wayfarer who is dragging ALONG
lifo's highways in his quiet, ohsGrvant
md optimistic way, docs not pretehu 70
be a scholarly authority on clothes ike
Professor Teufesdrockh, of Carlyle
"Sartor Rcsartus," but he Is several
furlongs ahead of the odd old Teuton
In "a thorough knowledge OF the ali-Pet-
$yasiveness Of female apparel.
Professor Tcufelsdrockh. with all ms
wisdom was a bachelor. He never kne"
what Is was to be abroad In his Sunday
bravery and return home with Wo-
mans gloves, WE'LL pocketbook and hanu-
kerchief in his pocket.
And Furthermore, It is to be presumed
y that he did not know that woman, N
mint Of clothing, consists of as many
layers as Bermuda onion. the re-
moval of one.thrd Of these layers SUI
s hces to fill a room, while a sufficient re-
auction to justify the donnlng OF a
kimona. would pack 4 tobacco barn OF
n river steamboat. Womnn,5i 1t must
be remembered, IS q, studied crea,io1,
even in her negligec. WITH her, ~ = =
right as itAis to fill a. thilor-nlade SUIT
with that bullying rotundty which SO
charms man and eXcites the envy OF
more nttenuated sisters. Indeed, thlS
bosom friend s'nnd Itottering pillar OF the
dry goods ESTABLISHMENTS has long since
\ rea ched the conclusion that woman
dresses, not only to please man, but 70
8 please-or, perhaps, displease---oth1er Wo !,
mon. otherwise, why all the attention.
e totthosc petty details which the tabacco-
consuming bped could not appreciate:
even though they We're specifically calieu
to his attention.
There Is no cause and effect business
about man's admiration for VEL
dressed woman All he wants Is the
effect. He doesn't give a kitty how 7 he
result is accomplished--in truth, the less
he knows about that the better no
simple hearted extractor Of corks Is the
most unsuspcous soul alive. lie Is
willing sartorially speaking. to take
every woman on faith IS While he swell
tiers aud perspres beneath Herculean
shoulders which are the product Of his
own tailors skill. 1t never occurs to
him that there are also tricks In tho
She taior's trade.
Bless the unsuspecting chap, he thinks
that every charningly round woman Is
perfectly square-that is. he would never
suspect her OF making cotton serve the
purpose yof bona and meat The petit
coated partridge to him is an unadult-
Z Grated Venus in whom there isno guile.
Should he chance to catch her unex-
i pectedly in her morning wrapper. he
blushlngly communities With himself later
about her, freedom from angles. He
forgets that there are times when even
balloon Is not rotund.i And in the