The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1905-08-03

lessor found that it was filed with a
neatly folded fabric, a good deal like
paper. All over it was written a story
that Prof. Woodhead read with alb
sorbed interest. S's' ' '''sfsa Fssss'sSs
The contents of the strange manu-
script found in a sardine can were as
follows
Kingdom of the F'ool-Killer, &
4, "Immolation Day s
II. William Bigsmith, knowing that
at any moment the Fool-Killer is liable
to dropi!n upon me and make me the
late Mr.. Bigsmith, do write this with
fear and trembling, also with pen
made Ola sharp stick, keeping an eye
on the rack where they are just now
saving In two more than ordinarily
depraved spring poet.
Nearer at hand, the Is-this-hot-
enough-for-you?' man is roasting over
a slow fire, and his unreserved yells
disturb me good deal. He isn't bit
stingy with his bowls.
III succeed in finishing this. and
throwing it over the edge before the
Fool-killer gets to me, hope it may
fall into the hands of some one VINO
will publish it as an awful warning 20
people who are smarter than the law
allows. 81
MY Incorporate indulgence in in
vestigatton is what has brought me
here, where, cheered by the yells of
the man, who on earth left open the
door, and now has his head eternaliy
shut into one, write and await .ae
coming of the FOol-Killer.
Throw investigation and invention
to the dogs, adjure you, and quit seek
ing to pry into the future, or. some
day the ruler of this dread realm will
get you by the surplus skin of your
neck and jerk you from happiness into
misery.
LAS an inventor, was far from he.
ing a pretender like Kelly. For 4
Tina invented with IMMUNITY, and
nothing befell me. Made reckless ~
continued success, accomplished that
which eclipsed all my previous Efforts.
I have no time to 80 into details. Suf-
fcient to say that / fooled with forces
and conditions until l succeeded in
overcoming gravitation as Keely's
etheric force overcame mems resist
ance to humbug and made them come
down with the ducats.
1.-The invention, which, for want of 4
better name, might have been called q
gravity eradicator, was packed in va
llise. All had to do was to grasp the
handle, touch a spring, and up we
would 60.
1.-THE first time pressed the spring
too hard, and, before knew 1t, was
jerked up against the ceiling with .
force that nearly cracked my. intellec-
tual radiator. How I got the avaiise
under control sagain does not matter;
suffice to say lived through tt.
my next attempt was made out of
doors. Iwould rail up % far a. I
liked in the air, I thought, then touch
the spring softly and sail back to
earth gently and safely. went up all
right, but, when tried to descend. the
backset spring would not work.
Imagine my feelings if you have
ever been on high The spring posi-
lively refused to work. If held on,
I'd go up perhaps to worlds unknown.
If let go, I'd be dashed to pieces on
the rocks in Benderson's addition.
up, up I went. I began to expert
ence terrible pains in my Uranium; my
eyes bulged; my brain ratified like a
lawn mower; bright flashes of light
darted across my vision, and Is MILL
meters of my crimson tongue hung
out. A band of steel seemed compress
sing my intellectual lobe; my frontal
region wae I'll pain and confusion.