River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-03-16
Miss Parkcr'S
Lost Cat
BY CLARA AUGUSTA
AKIss ANN MARIA PARKER, q

MISS ANN MARIA PARKER, q
lVR Parsbury, kept a cat-a gray
Thomas cat, with white feet and face,
and, as Miss Parker was wont to OBJ
serve, "a very amiable expression OF
countenance."
Miss Parker was single lady OF
about 40-plump, fair and generally at
tractive, and in all probability she
would have been somebody's wife long
before if there had been anybody OF
the male persuasion in the vicinity
who had not already wife.
But Parksbury had only three eligi-
BILE men with n its precincts. Peter
Hooper, who had only one eye, and
was doubled up like a jackknife with
the rheumatism, stood first on the list.
Peter was a widower, and the first
Mrs. Hooper ha1 never done anything
in all her life that pleased him until
the day she bade him farewell and en-
joined it upon him to put silver plate
on her coffin, and be sure and have a
notice of her death in the Parksbury
Chronicle, stating that she was a good
wife, and was much lamented by all
her heart broken friends, and had been
an advance-paying subscriber to the
Chronicle for more than 80 years.
Peters faith in woman was not very
deep, and there seemed little likeli-
hood that there would ever be a Sec
ond Mrs. Hooper
The second eligible man was Thomas
Dunbar, and Thomas suffered SO bad
Iy that he had never been able to pro-
pose to any lady. He had made sew
eral attempts to do so, but had never
succeeded in getting through with the
job in one day, and the next day his
courage would be gone, and so he had
never BEEN made happy
Lastly, there was Jethro Turner, but
Jethro had mother and seven sisters
to support, so there was not much
chance of his taking wife at present.
Miss Parker mad always lived in
Parksbury, SO you will understand that
her chances for committing matri-
mony had been exceedingly small.
She lived alone with her cat, whose
baptismal name was Dick, and was
which was not strange, seeing he was
all the family she had.
One luckless day Dick failed to put
in an appearance at dinner time. Miss
Parker was strongly exercised over his
remissness, but consoled herself with
the thought that there were rats in
her neighbor Thompson's barn, and
probably Dick was displaying a little
strategy in capturing one of them for
a lunch But when night came. and
Dick was still absent, her anxiety in
creased, and she could not knit on the
gray stocking she was doing for the
missionary society-her eyes were so
full of water.
Morning dawned, and Dick came not.
Miss Parker put on her bonnet and
jacket, and went round to all the
neighbors' barns and called him, and
then she went to all the houses and
inquired for him. But nobody had set
eyes on him.
One Of the neighbors suggested that
perhaps he had gone over to the Han
son place. This farm had long been
managed by an agent, and the house
had stood vacant, but only few days
before it had been purchased by man
by the name of Payson, and Payson
had already taken possession.
Across lots Miss Parker went at the
top OF her speed and arrived at last
within sight of the Payson domicile.
A river ran a little distance from the
house, and on the banks of the river
Miss Parker espied portly gentleman.
walking up and down. with bag in
one hand and cane in the other.
And while she gazed, very far off
and plaintive "me-ye-ow!" was waited
to her ears.
ut is Dicks cry!" she exclaimed,
franticaliy, land he's in that bag! And
that dreadful old wretch is going to
drown hint"
Maddened by the thought, she leaped
forward. and reaching the "old
wretchs" side, she made dive for the
bag. The man stood on the very edge
of the river bank, 10 to Is feet above
the water. and the footing was some
what insecure. He slipped, stone
gave way under his foot, and he went
over, bag and all. But there was