The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1905-02-11

own. Tney send me back as much az
! send them."-Detroit Free Press.
Uncle Josh-'Most every official that
amounts to anything has to file an an
nual report. Uncle Hiram-Yes; an /
guess that's about all some of 'em do.
Puck.
Tourist say, guide, what does that
memorial stone commemorate Guide
/ put 1t there. It was upon that spot
tourist once gave me ave francs
Tit-Bits.
Maekly-YOs, we're going to move to
Swamphurst. Doctor-But the climate
there may disagree with your wife.
Meekly-It wouldn't dare!-Philadel-
phia Press.
Nsll--Mr. Krammerer In 10 kind. He
said took very pretty and very ar
ttsHc picture. Bell-1ndeed? And
whose picture did you take, dear2--
Philadelphia Ledger.
LAdy-Very healthy place, is it,
Have you any idea what the death.
rate 10 hers2 Caretaker-Well. mum,
I can't 'zactly say; but it's about one
apiece all round.-Punch.
Mrs. Smith-Td like to sell you q
ticket, sir. We're getting up a raffls
for O poor sailor. Mr.. Krusty-Not to
me. 1 wouldn't know what to do with
q sailor II won him.-Ex.
Most divorces are caused by a very
common mistake" What is 1T"
MANY a man In love only with a dim
pie or q curl makes the mistake of mar
rying the whole girI."-Life.
Clarinda-Arent you allowed to
keep a dog In your new fat? Florinda
No, wo had to give Fido away; but
Jack had his dear little bark put in
our phonograph.-Journal Amusant.
Ida-Are they really so rich7 May
i should say 80. When they slipped
several spoons. and Saucers into their
grips the hotel clerk said 1t was mere
ly the souvenir hobby.-Chicago News.
"HeavensT' exclaimed the first moth,
''here'S a lne prospect Of starving to
deathv' How SOP" inquired the 9TH
er one. There's nothing in this box
we're locked up in but bathing-suit.
Eek.
Miss Passay-You may sheer at pet
dogs, but they're faithful, anyway.
I'd rather kiss a good dog than some
men. Mr.. sharpe-Well, well, some
men are born lucky.--Philadelphia
Ledger.
Edith-Is It true. Dolly, that Larkin
kissed you before he picked you up In
that runaway Dolly-Yes, dear; you
know no is studying to be a doctor,
and that was FIRST aid to the injured
Chicago Record-Herald.
Photographer-I would suggest that
you relax the features a little and as
sumo q more pleasing expression. Mrs.
Vick-Senn-I suppose can do it If you
insist, but I can tell you right now It
won't look like me.-Chicago Tribune.
what" asked the female-suffrage
advocate with the square chin, has
become Of our manly men" "Some
Of Them" replied the meek and lowly
citizen, 'have married womanly wom-
en-, and are now engaged in raising
childish children. News.
Uncle George have read your ard-
Gle over, and I must say it shows a
great deal Of originality. Arthur
Thanks, I'm sure! I hattered myself
there were some ideas in 1t. Uncle
George was not speaking Of the
composition, but of the spelling
Boston Transcript.
1t was ON the old camp ground.
PASS de hat" suggested Bruddah
Wheatly. But the parson raised his
hand. "No, sah," he shouted, "dere'n
be NO hats about 1t. Pass a tin box
wild q chain to 1t. De last time hat
was passed around heah 1t nevah came
back, and had to 90 home barehead-
Od."-Chicago News.
az must have q new gown and coat
at once" "Great thunderatton, won.
an, how can you ask for a gown and
coat when you have to testify in my
bankruptcy hearing next weekT II
simply have to have them. Do you
think I can face the people in the
courtroom when am wearing my old
clothes indianapolis Sun. -~.
Fond Mother-You will be years
old tomorrow, Willie, and l want to
give you a real birthday treat. Tell
me what you would like better than
anything else, Willie latter thinking
earnestly for ave minutes)- Bring me a
whole box Of chocolate creams, moth
or, and ask Tommy Smith to come in
ana watch me eat 'em-Youth.
Mr.. Uggy-Don't you remember,
dear, when your father forbade me
the houssf Mrs. Ugsy-Yes, and when
mother wouldn't let me out of her
sight for Q momentH Mr.. Uggy-And
] made mp my mind to go Oh and die?
Mrs. Uggy-YeB, and scared father
into thinking / was In a decline3 Both