The San Francisco call., 1905-08-13

assure his Honor, however, that there
was nothing fakish about the defendants
balancing Of himself while completely
unconscious. More than once they had
found him stretched at full length atop
of an inch-thick board fence and "snor-
ing to beat the band" and all their eff
forts to prove his somnolency assumed
were in vain. By his fellows IN vaga-
bondage he was invariably alluded to as
THE Perching Kid"
Mr.. Lane was arrested as he COM
muned with morpheus on Kearny street
at an early hour yesterday morning, his
couch being one of the sheetiron recep-
tacles Of sweepings that stand upon the
sidewalks. The lid of the box was about
a foot square, yet Mr.. Lane sat and slept
upon 1t with seeming comfort. His hands
clasped his knees and his chin rested
upon them, and 80 firmly was he planted
that the patrolman experienced some
difficulty in rousing him, and finally was
obliged to pull him to the pavement.
Yours is the most extraordinary case
I ever heard off, said the Judge to Mr..
Lane, land If you were not misdemean-
ant deserving Of punishment I would
submit ayou to scientific investigation. It
is my opinion that your ability to slum-
Der while you perch is inherent and
tribute to the logic OF the Darwinfan the
ory of evolution-that at least one simian
trait remains with you. I've good mind
to send you to Berkeley, where the an
thropologists would undoubtedly find you
an interesting subject"
For Gawd's sake, don't do dat,
Judge" whimpered Mr.. Lane; II have
heerd about what them anthrop-them
what-da-you-call-e ems do wild any pore
mug dey gets der hands on. I hain't
done nothin' ter deserve bein' cut up by
dem guys.
ignoring the defendants display of ig-
norance, the Judge sentenced him to
three months Imprisonment in the Coun-
ty Jail where she shall not be permitted
to perch while he sleeps.
Wallace A Wise, Attorney Leonard
Stone, Chester Smith and two other wit
nesses testified that Wallace Bradford
was under arrest when he addressed an
offensive epithet to Frank Maestretu,
president Of the Board Of Public Works,
last primary election day in a Western
Addition polling booth, so Judge Fritz
dismissed the case on the ground that
the complaint was defective
Thomas MuIligan, who has earned
some fame and occasionally received
bodily damage in his vocation of un-
dertaking the collection of overdue
debts for other people, found II difficult
to interview a certain insurance agent
whose creditor was impatient, so he
committed the indiscretion Of mailing
offensive appeals to the elusive debtor,
thus violating an ordinance OF this city,
for which he was arrested.
Among the documentary evidence
submitted by the prosecution to Judge
Fritz was a note alleged to have been
written by Mr., Mulligan and addressed
to a young woman employe Of the in
surance man, said note being Of insult
ing tenor. The case was continued till
next Saturday.
William Giovanni, teamster. was
battering a man his physical inferior
when Adam Kraus, commission mer
chant at 1852 Montgomery street, de-
clared that he (Signor Giovann) ought
to be ashamed of himself. Four hours
later Sfgnor Giovanni visited Mr.. Kraus
and administered to him such beating
that he was laid UP for repairs for
about a week.
IT didn't intend to lick him." said Sig
nor Giovanni to Judge Conlan, but
when I went to apologize to him for
having licked the other fellow he
jumped me. and had to defend myself,
of course"
He was convicted Of battery and re-
manded for sentence, bail being re-
fused.
Joseph Schmer, licensed chauffeur, de-
risively likened the automobile driven
by Calvin GLIB, also licensed, unto an
ice-wagon, and Calvin GLIB retorted by
anxiously requesting Joseph Schmer to ,
explain his reasons for steering a lum-
Der truck instead of a machine intended
for the conveyance of passengers
When they wearied Of exchanging such
airy persiflage Joseph Schmer and CAL
vim Glib, each seated In his machine,
agreed to engage in a speed contest
from Market and Fell streets to Uncle
Toms Cabin" at the Beach, the loser
to pay the winner a sum OF S.. Ere the
race was fairly under way policeman
arrested both contestants for violating
the ordinance which aims to regulate
the speed Of automobiles within the city
boundaries, but seldom succeeds in
scoring a bullseye.
who is the stakeholder" Judge
Fritz asked the defendants.
I'VE didn't put up the money" one of
them replied
We'll, put 1t up now with the clerk
of this court" said his Honor, "and you
needn't mind engaging in another race
for 1T
Thus was the municipality enriched
to the tune of $40.
Call. Edith" shouted Clerk Jack"
Rice.
Edith whatr inquired Bailin Jack"
Laws.
Edith CALL" replied the clerk
I'll call her II you tell me what her