The Black Hills union and western stock review. [volume] (Rapid City, S.D.) 1904-19??, 1905-06-16
OLD TIME FAVORlTES.

Washington Star: Yes sighed the
veteran miscellany editor, "A good
man Of the old-time stories have drop
ped out of the running during recent
years, and some of them don't expect
to see appear any more. For instance
the mad wag' who used to tell the
story about b. who had a country
place down in SHROPSHIRE isn't doing
anything any more, and l imagine that
he's safely tucked away somewhere in
a home for the aged. The mad wag'
used to tell how he had heard rather
a neat thing about B. the same i.
being a sad dog, but a rollicking, good
natured fellow. even If he had always
been considered a great fop and a ter
rihle ladies' man Nope, the mad Wag
isn't spinning any of em any more
and he kind o leaves a void, at that,
in the bosom Of an old-timer like me.
And then the man who used to
write so many of 'em about how he
was riding along the trail, a-horseback
through the Cumberland or the Iron
mountains, or somewhere down III Ar
kanSaw, when he saw an old woman
sitting smoking a pipe in front OF Il
dilapidated cabin-yep, the man Wf>o
USED 10 start MS Oh llilS WY laS SoiiN'
too-don't know what eVer became OF
him, but he's dropped out. He always
mentioned the fact that there were a
lot Of gallery and n~o-account dogs
!! fooling around the cabin, and he caus-
ed the p~ipe-smoking old woman to give
short, Choppy and to fnally
stand up and yell for Zeke or Zeb, and
then Zeke or Zeb, of the cracker spe-
cies, would appear in the clearin', n
he'd say a lot of choppy things, too,
and so on, and so on. Queer what's be-
come of that kind. but l guess the man
who u~nraveled 'em must ha found his
way to the soldiers home long ago.
And then the old stock jokes are
about as much Of the past nowadays
as the stuff of Bill Nye-and, say.
while mentioning Bill Nye, have you
tried the experiment of picking up
something of Bill Nye's lately and try
ing to get any good out CT it? l did,
home, other day. Gloomiest quarter of
an hour l ever had. Same stuff that
used to double us all up, but it's awful
TO read now, which shows how fast
the American style of humor changes.
But to get back to the old-time jokes.
The custard pie full of ants at the pic
mic Joke is one that never crops out
any more, if you've noticed 1t. Don't
have any more picnics worth mention
ing, and l guess that must be the an
/ DIV khIld llS ~
or-my-shirt joke has already gone to
Join a LOT Of other antediluvians, for
the reason hat the young ok grow
ing up nowadays simply wouldn't I'M
derstand it. They don't have buttons
on shirts any more, or enough SOS you
could notice EN-. and that's the an
swer to that. There's a tremendous
let-up on the mcther-in-law joke dur
ing the past few years, I've noticed,
too. Somehow that one played itself
out, for fellows in this country have
fallen into the habit of getting along
first rate with their mother-in-laWs, as
a rule-just you ook around among
your friends and see if I'm not right
Mothers-in-law are all right nowadays
-rattling good fellows, mighty handy
and nice when their sonS-in-laW are
sick, considerable, self-effacing and q
lot of other things-fact is, I know
some fellows who are so devoted to the
comfort of their mothers-in-law who
live with them that their wives are
Jealous.
'Then, too, the young fellow who, II
proposing for the hand of the girl, uset
to get himself kicked downstairs by the
elderly party or have the bulldog sick.
ed on him-that joke has all but slack.
ened up for keeps nowadays. Nevel
was such a joke, that, in my opinion
because there never was any truth II
1t worth mentioning. l bet you couldn'
remember a case to save your soul o
a girls father actually resorting t
physical violence or sicking q dog up
on a young fellow who had asked hin
for the daughters hand. And, to las,
a jokes got to have a basis of fact an
experience underlying 1t.
another n that's dribbling w
|, fast is the staylate joke-young felloI
who hung around the parlor until tn
old man called down from the top @
the stairs asking If the milllman ha
been around yet, and so on. That al
ways was a dead one, too. in my opin
ion. Never s;,w many girls in my eX
p]erience that didn't want 'em to sta
: just as late as ever they durned chos'
Trouble with 'em nowadays is, accord
Ing to what I hear the girls whispe
that the young reprobates have 8
many engagements here, there an
, the other place that they ant be ir
duced to stay half long enough.
Mother one that's pretty nie
foozled out is the young girl or II
fresh boy, brother OF the one girl, WI
met the beau in the parlo- and talke
fresh g~iveaway things about the OF
girl while the latter was upstairs cur
a Ing her hair. Always was Kind o gri!
ly, that joke. Youngsters calling upc
: girls never INDUCED in much rubbe
necking conversation witt the childrt
of the house about the object of the
Q idolatry, and that joke sort of had
: tendency to make young fellows loo
and seem like sneaks. But it's a macl
erel now, that joke.
a And so with a whole raft of 9th
a mes that l could mention If I did,
have 224 columns of reprint to clip
) the big edition. l hated to see a lot
'em go, at that, seeing that they we
a contemporaneouS with all of my u
s%pringing youth and young and matu
- manhood, but what's the use?
Is jokes like an old horse, it's got to p
Is its last load some time. But it max
10 me feel old to think of how many jok
I've seen come to a high, univers
~ pulsing life and hen gradually divine
II and c1oak-it honest does
n --
THE POSTCARD FlEND.
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