Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-12-02
HUNTING FOR ROOMS

The man with the Flor de Connecticut
smoke was telling about It.
'.Of evenings. for the past week or So"
said he. my wife and 1 have been JAM
ming around, hunting for new boarding
house In fact, my wife has been putting
In most OF her time at the job-days as we'll
as evenings. The process is something like
this:
Just as soon as she gets me OF to the
Office every morning, she starts out with
a list Of advertising boarding houses with
her She makes the rounds OF a whole lot
Of them, and out of the whole lot she Sc
lects two or three for me to look over.
Then, In the evening after I've had my
regular quota OF smokes, go out with her.
take peek at the places she's picked out
for me to look at, and knock 'em all,
without any exception whatever. just as
soon as we emerge from them.
This tends to make her feel real cheer
fni over the situation, ysee.
So you think you're going to stuff me
away In dinky little dark three-story back
room like that, hey?" round upon her as
We come down the steps Of the last board
ing house she's picked out for me to look
at or something like that 1t won't DO,
l tell her. I knock-kin-nock 1t. Listen
the Very idee-of your expecting me to live
in such bum plant and SO on and SO on.
These remarks Of mine are, of course,
in vast and acute contrast to the kind of
hot air which l ladle out to the landladies
Just before taking leave Of EN-.
'Of course I have to lie gaudily and am
ply to the landladies. 1 always tell EN-
We'll be back tomorrow evening, or We
have just one other place to look at, but
we'll most probably take your ROOM or I
like this bully, but I'd like about twenty
four hours to think 1t over. or something
of that sort. This enables me to make my
getaway in fair order, y'see. and then the
knocks that l get off as soon as we get
away from the boarding house come all the
easier.
MY wife always expostulates with me for
not telling the landlades right out that we
don't like the rooms and that, therefore.
we're not going to take them or return to
look at them again. but I tell her that that
sort OF thing requires a most alarming
amount of nerye-more nerve than feel
like mastering up and throwing away.
But last evening it was different We
went UP against a, landlady Of a house that
my wife hadn't previously visited. The
rooms she showed US were stghts-the out
fit looked inside like a boarding house for
a gravel train gang, although the exterior
of the plant put up a deceivin9 bluff.
Il made as hasty a getaway from that
place as could, or essayed to, at any rate,
saving to the hatchet-faced landlady:
IL
place little ways down from here that we
have in mind but-er-uh- and the rest
of the customary backing toward the-door
formula
But this time 1 failed to get by with It,
The landady was one of those skeptlcai
persons.
Well she said, I'd like t know posi-
tive what you're a-goln t do, deed would
for there's another party that's thinkin o
takin' tn room you looked at-an' I'd like
{ know positive, deed l would.
Il scratched my chin and pretended to be
engaged in a hull long line of thinks as TO
whether I'd take room that l wouldn't
live in if somebody paid me $50 a week to
do 1t.
Well began again, I'll let you know
-er-uh-lemme see-would tomorrow morn
ing. before nine, be all right?'
Now you just know you're not a-comln
back no more the landlady said TO me.
And that sort of curdled me.
Right you are said l, as l edged my
wife downstairs. OF course l know it. l
haven't the remotest intention Of coming
back. I haven't had any such intention
from, the minute | broke in here. I've only
been shoveling south breezes. Wouidn I
live here If you gave me the deed and quit
claim TO the hull row. OF course l am
not coming back. Sure thing Surest thing
Won know, and then my wife and We're
out Of the door and going down the front
steps. s,s,,+ 70,
7 asked NV Wife Didn't make any fake
nron1ises. but just told her right, didn II
- I think you were absolutely and wan
tonIv brutal my wife replied. and am
ashamed of YOU
women are sure unreasonable When tney
want to be, heyf