The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1905-11-01
Humorous

Suitor-OOeo your doll talk When
you squeeze 1T Little Sister--Yes, but
1t doesn't say "Oh. George. don'tr'-
Brooklyn Life.
II understand Colonel Jones Il ia.
talist." You're right thar. strangerl
He never fails to git his man"-New
Orleans Times Democrat.
What was your name before you
were marriedY" asked the Chicago cen.
sus taker. (which timer" Queried the
lady.-Detroit Free Press.
80 the Jury gave Dolly fifty dollars
. week alimony?" Eyes. She says II
feels 80 good not to be dependent On
man for ones income."-Life.
Doctors don't bleed their patients
nowadays, do they?" Don't, ehf
wish you could see the bill mine has
sent mev'-Browning' Magazine.
He-I was an intimate friend OF
your late husband. Can't you give me
something to remember bin by! she
(shyly)-How would do?-Punch.
what was 1t that prevented the
duel this morning? Did one OF the
principles fail to show upT" mo, but
they forgot the cinematograph."-Gil
Bias.
Bluster-Do you mean to say that l
am a liar2 Blister-I hope that J
could not do 80 ungentlemanly thing;
but l see you catch my idea.-lllus'
trated Bits.
She--And do you think it's possible
for a man to love two girls at the
same time? He-Oh, yes: provided II
isn't also at the same place.--Phlla'
delphia Ledger.
Miss Sinclair-wha didn't he mahry
dat Coopah gal? Mr.. Frothinham-Oh'
she done funk at de latest minute
wouldn't lend him dollar fob t git ne
| license Wick.
Hicks-Miss Lowd was In your box
at the horse show the other day, !
heard. Wicks-Yes, and everybody
else within fifty feet Of the box heard,
too.-Philadelphia Ledger.
Mamma lat breakfast table)-You
should always use your napkin. Geor-
gle. Georgia. am using 1t. mamma.
I've got the dog tied to the leg of the
table with it.-Golden Days
Tommy-Pop, what is the difference
between charity and philanthropy
Tommy's Pop-Merely, my son. that
philanthropy can afford to hire a press
agent. Philadelphia Record.
Johnny Jinks-Gee! How'd you
hurt your hand? Bobby Wabbles-I
had a giant-cracker. and I don't know
whether l held on to 1t too long or
didn't let 60 quick enough.-Puck.
Miss SlImmun--Harold called Inc a
peach little while ago. Miss Tartun
The insulting puppy! never would
speak to him again. or course he
meant a dried peach.-Chicago Trib'
une.
what authority have you for the
statement that Shakespeare Is immor'
talW 1.-THE fact that he still survives
after having been murdered by bum
HCtOE0 tHIcc uuhotCo sN"'S'
Cleveland Leader.
"That girl gets engaged to every fel.
low that asks her" II suppose she
goes on the theory that she can always
return the goods IL on examination she
decides that she doesn't want them."-
Washington Star.
Dear john" wrote Mrs. Newlywed
from the shore, II inclose the hotel
bill" "Dear Jane, ! inclose check. "
wrote John. but please don't buy any
more hotels at this price--they are rob.
bling you."-The Smart Set.
"Ah! pretty ladyv' exclaimed the
fortune teller, you have come to And
your future husbands" mot much"
replied the pretty lady. "I've come to
learn where my present husband ia
when he's absent. "-Chicago Tribune.
Have you any fixed opinions regard.
ing the proposed franchise" asked the
interviewer. Before answering your
question" responded the municipal OF.
flcial, II should like to know precise
| ~ what you mean by the word liked
l--Washington Star.
Ethel-When does your breach-of-
promise suit come into court, Clara
Clara (sobbing)-TtO-m Ethel
(consolingly)--I am sorry to see You SO
overcome. dear. Clara-Ob, it's moth.
ing, Ethel. am simply rehearsing fol
the jury.-Pick Me-Up.
THAT 9 an auction piano your
daughters got, isn't it," asked the sar.
castle woman next door. mo, indecdr'
replied the proud mother, Indignantly
what made you think thatT oh
probably because It's going, going, 60.
ing all the time" - Philadelphia
Ledger.
"why am l gloomyT demanded the
undesirable admirer, to whom she had
given the cut direct. isn't 1t enough
tn make one gloomy to be cut by the
one he loves bestT "The dear *
claimed the heartless girl. II didn't
even know that you shaved yourself
e a