The San Francisco call., 1905-08-02
OCCIDENTAL.
ACCIDENTALS
By A. J. Waterhouse.
THE FAsCINATING CREATURE.

THE FASCINATING CREATURE.
- NCE upon time there lived
Fascinating Young Creature VINO
~ possessed a beautiful and be-
| witching ideal of the man whom she
would marry.
Il do not ask much of this pros
pectfve husband" she said; only those
simple characteristics which should
pertain to every man whom any wom-
an would marry. All 1 ask is that he
shall be true and honest, yet able 10
/! skin any man on Change. for of course
! he must be able to support me prop
| erly.
He must be absolutely pure and IN
capable of a wicked thought; yet ne
must have a dark, mysterious past dt
which / may shudder in secret.
i He must neither smoke nor drink
yet he must not deprive me OF wom-
ans sweet privilege of saying, Know
that you are smoking, or drinking TOO
much for your own good
He must be so innately religious
that he will not refuse to go TO church
with me- particularly when L have
new gown or hat; yet must be able 10
| express himself when he rises IN lhe
night to find a burglar L have heard,
falls over three chairs, and hnahy
LANDS with one hand in the cuspidor
'F He must nave Keen oChoS -
humor; yet never must laugh at me-
This is all there is. to tell about the
Fascinating Young Creature except
that she now is married. She marrleo
I John Binks. clodhopper. He is nelther
true honest, pure nor reilSlous' no
/ smokes and drinks, his sense OF humof
wears a pachydermatous skSn, and MS
wife has to call him indoors when IL
rains for fear that he will get wet
but he was the first man that came
along.
i Moral-It is sometimes so.
.sT. TOLD that chawming Miss Chaw-
1nion that had quite weputation
4 as a conversationalist, doncner
knowr'
Did you. deah boy?"
Il did, and she said 1t wasn't
stwange'
"Chawming on her pawt. wasn't it?'
| ''Wathah eIevah, 1 thought. She SAID,
| furthah, that Balaam had one that hdo
quite a weputation in that line L Won
dah what she meant
.'Bwessed if L sees deah boy; but'a-
then, the deah cweatures sometimes
are hard to undahstand:'
.'Yaas. 1 wondah what she meant
i FOOL AND PHILOSOPHER.
" OURE philosopher; am a fool
1t is little. you mind, and little
For the world teaches all in the same
hard school,
And we pay the price of the garb
we wear.
do not know in what womb of fate
L was begotten, oh, long ago,
And l know not the future for which
:. i wait,
But tell me, philOsopher-what do
you know.
am fool, and 1 only see
That somewhere behind this scheme
!. of things
Is a Mighty. Hand that is hid from me,
Oiling the orbits and pulling the
strings,
And 1 sometimes wonder where broods
The Master Mechanic who makes it
out and beyond the mist-hid gates
Tell me, philosopher-what do you
,know?.
Have you the secret that as yet lack?
Know you the path that the n1orrows
shall tread, q
Why Sorrow still spreads for his VIC
tins his rack,
While Gods in his heavens that over
us spread?
| y
Surely you know. it. the way that
/ Under. the arch Of the down bending
Tell me, philosopher-what do you
know?
III ERE are mans four views OF time: 4
! You still have forty years to live.
said the guardian spirit to the
youth,
"It is a long, long time" the youth
replied, and l will do a great deal be-
fore it is past"
You have thirty years yet. to live"
the guardian spirit said to the still
| young man.
We'll, that is quite a while" was the
reply. Probably 1 cannot do all
had intended, but 1 will make quite a
showing"
You have twenty years to live" the
spirit said to the middle-aged man,
only twenty Well, 1 suppose 1 will
have to do the best can in that length
of time
For the last time tire guardian spirit
appeared. You yet have ten years
left he said to the rapidly aging man.
The man sighed. But ten years"
he whispered in reply, "add what can
one do in those few daysp
| And when the end had come the man
/ looked backward and moaned. II am
leaving it nearl' all undonet"
And so life goes. although youth will
mot believe it and only old age fully
realizes that 1t is so.
SET RIGHT.
Americans in London are apt to be