davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-17

He did II TO let Mrs. Bowser under
stand iiiat he was boss of that ranch
and that things had got to stand around
for him. He banged the front door
open. lie did II that she might know
he had arrived and have goose flesh
over II. He expected to see her in the
hall and 10 shout Woman at her
and demand why Ia Halifax the gas In
tho back parl1r was not lighted, but
she wasn't there. The cat wasn't there.
The cook was not IN the kitchen.
"NOw, by the seven horns OF the sev.
en- bflndled bull. but this Is too much
too much" exclaimed MF. Bowser as
he went climbing upstairs.
There was more to c1ne. however.
He found Mrs. Bowser IN bed with a
headache, while the cat was chasing a
rubber ball around on the floor as II
domestic troubles were not Of the
slightest account.
II heard you come in," family an.
nounced Mrs. Bowser from the bed.
"Ob. you did, eh; You heard me
come In, and you jumped into bed?'
II have had raging headache all
day"
SERVES you right. Any woman who
will eat pickles and smoked herrings
and then walk out In the back yard In
her bare feet must expect to have
headaches. Where In Texas Is that red
headed cook Of oursY
=! let her 20 home for the day. She
said she'd surely be back by 4 o'clock.
Hasn't she come yetT
"0f course she hasn't come. and Of
course she won't show up till mid
night! Were you idiot enough to take
her w0rdF'
IL thought she'd come"
"Yes. you thought and thought, and
this Is the result Of It. BY John. was
there ever such a conducted house as
this! | have now got to putter around
for two hours TO get myself bite to
eat"
Il .ried to get up few minutes ago.
but couldn't do II" explained Mrs.
Bowser.
"Of course you couldn't. You are
probably In for run OF fever. You
may have smallpox or the plague be-
fore you get through with 1t. That
would be just our luck. You wait till
the cook shows up, and I'll make her
think a house fell on her. I'll be up
again after / get something to eat"
why don't you % to a restaurant
for this once?'
"Wby don't go TO the drug store
and ask for strychnlne? Didn't come
within an ace OF dying once after get
ting bite TO eat In one horse res
taurant"
But | thought 1t was too many
beans that allied you"
TOO many nothings! II you think
you won't die before | get back I'll
now 80 down and poke about the kltc|l-
en-, and If that internal yaller eyed cat
follows me I'll be the death Of him"
Mr.. Bowser went down and Doked.
He made himself a cup Of coffee and
ate some bread and butter and cold
meat. and though the cat looked into
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-17

lall, It Is the healthiest spot on earth.
Astoria wants more people. Its ma
tural resources will easily support
from 250,oOO TO 100000 population. yet
there are only $4,000 people here to
reap the benefits that nature has SO
generously placed at their disposal
The homeseeker will find no better
place TO locate. and few equal places
Labor is always In demand. at the
highest wages, and there Is much en-
Encouragement for the man who wishes
to engage in business. Strangers often
remark the uniform courtesy OF the
people and the general effort on the
part OF Astorians to make matters
pleasant for visitors. The home-seek-
er or investor who fails to visit Astoria
will make great mistake, for no other
community in the Pacific northwest
offers such opportunities as the lower
Columbia river district.
Astoria has $500. 900 gravity water
system, paid fire department. first.
class street car service, gas and elec-
trio lighting systems, free public IL
brary. unexcelled transportation facili-
ties, complete school system, 40 civic
societies, three daily and SIX weekly
newspapers. excellent telegraph anS
telephone service. three banks carry.
ing deposits OF about $4,000 ,000 two ex>
press Offices. flrst-class theaters, II
churches, labor unions representing
every branch OF trade, two energetic
commercial organizations, two social
clubs, admirably conducted hospital
miles of manufacturing sites, plenty OF
fine residence and business property.
II the only fresh-water seaport on the
Pacific coast; Is situated at the mouth
OF a river that drains an empire; has a
harbor large enough to accommodate
the combined shipping OF the Pacific
coast; has trunk-line railroad con.
Meeting II with four transcontinental
railroads; Is the uttermost railroad ex.
tension point on the American conti-
hent; is 200 miles nearer Yokahoma
and other oriental ports than any other
Pacific coast port; is 100 miles nearer
the Cape Nome mining country than
any other port on the Pacific coast; is
the salmon shipping center OF the
world; is the center of one of the
greatest possible dairy Industries that
the country today possesses.
1t is the only place where the royal
chinook salmon is packed; has sub
stantial public and business buildings,
factories and handsome residences.
Astoria's School System.
Astorla's schol system is not sur
passed by that Of any other city of
the size in the west. At present there
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-17

greatest resources.
The annual salmon yield Of the Co
lumbia river is valued at $4,000, 900.
The spring fishing season lasts only
about four months-from April Is to
August $50 it means s75o,000
monthly to those interested in 1t and
those who live at and near the seat
of the industry.
The Dairying Industry.
Dairying in Clatsop county is in its
infancy and very few dairymen realize
the natural advantages Of this coun.
try. The climate, coupled with the pro-
ductiveness Of the oil, makes it an ideal
district for production OF butter AMI
cheese; dairymen are taking more in
terest in the breed and care Of stock.
With the genuine butter COW. such
as few here have as vet, much better
results may be obtained, though even
now the luxurient pasturage enables
the cows to furnish an abundance Of
rich milk, with more than an average
of butter fat. A modern equipped
creamery is in operation in Astoria,
furnishing the farmers ready sale
for their cream, at an average price for
the year of 22h cents per pound for
butter fat; and the cows yield, under
good care, about 225 pounds OF butter
fat per year. There is general inter.
est in increasing the dairy business;
many of the dairymen are preparing to
enlarge their herds. and new daries are
being started. Ever-growing grass
and the best market in the world MAKE
this an inviting field for those who
understand the care OF cows.
All the oregon coast country, espe-
cially that near the mouth of the Co.
lumbia river, is very similar to the
great dairying sections of Europe. such
as Denmark, Holland and the Channel
islands. The winters, however, are
milder and the summers dryer.
The lands best adapted to grass.
growing are the tidelands, which are
river bottoms adjoining the Colum.
bia or it's sbranches, and overfiowed by
the highest tides. These lands may be
reclaimed by diking. at an expense OF
about $40 per acre, BY diking large
tracts by machinery-with steam
dredges-the expense may be reduced,
and more substantial dikes erected. one
acre of tideland has been shown to be
ample for keeping one cow the entire
year. There are still in clatsop county
about 10000 acres Of tideland to be
diked, much OF it being easily cleared
after the dilxing ls done. Tnls is no
experiment, as many Of the best dairy
farms have been made on dlked tide
land.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-17

dcrful natural advantages Astoria
bases Its expectations Of future great
ness. Situated on the only fresh-water
la,ion represents almost every nation
ality on earth, in consequence Of which
polItan city OF $1,000 people. It's popu-
It's wharves. II enjoys marked advont-
Il Is lively center Of business activity
II. advantageous location ut the n,Juih
OF the great Columbia river makes Il
the trade mart Of the vast productive
region OF northwestern oregon and
southwestern washington, and II is the
supply point for fully $4,000 people,
The estimate OF population here
given Is conservative. The 1900 gov
ernment census accredited the city
with about 5000 eople but the launch
ing OF new enterprises. together with
the natural growth. has added many
hundreds to the population In the past
i've years. Failure to develop local re-
sources has resulted In slow growth,
Iut new era OF commercial activity
Is dawning and the prospects for the
citys future are very bright.
on its magnificent location and Won
harbor of Importance In the world,
with the broad ocean but 10 miles from
ages as shipping center. The gravity
route OF the Columbia river Is natures
highway for the great inland empire,
the immense product OF which must be
exported from the ocean port. At AS
toria the largest ships may find safe
moorlngs, and It's harbor will accom-
modnte all the shipping that may ever
come to the northwest coast. It is
eminently the Pacific slope port
as New York is the Atlantic port, and
must soon receive from the transcon.
tlnental railroads the recognition which
its advantages justify, as has New
York on the Atlantic coast.
Development OF the numbering In
dustry win alone make Astoria great
There are 75,oOO,OOo,OOO foet OF tibmer
standing in the forests near the city
This vast timber supply Is great
enough to keep in steady operation for
20 years 100 large mills, and to afford
employment during that period to To-
900 persons In the manufacturing
plants, to say nothing of the army OF
workmen that would be employed In
the forests. The first steps towards the
development OF lumoering have now
been taken and four mills, with daily
output exceeding 100000 feet, are in
operation. The forests are only a snort
distance from the city and the cost OF
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-17

and turning all sorts Of colors.
so you are here? he growied.
"LemueI, I am here, and It's good
thing I am. You won't have to strain
your back moving any bureaus to-
night.
Who wants to move any bureaus?
When you are coming here, why the
devil don't you telegraph and have
somebody meetlyou at the depot"
Il come and go as I please. and I
should Ike to see anybody prevent me.
| am not so old and feeble that can't
come up from the depot alone You
were having a fine time, weren't your
Going TO move the bureau whether II
killed your wife or not. always hap
pen 10 drop In just In time"
"Yes. yon always-always"-
stop right there. Lemuei. have
heard enough from you for a spell. Go
downstairs and sit down and fold your
hands. and | will be down presently
and talk to you
Mr.. Bowser went downstairs and
put on his hat and softly opened the
door and sneaked out into the night
The mother-ln-law came down few
minutes later and hunted for him and
called and called. but he was not to
be found. Darkness and distance had
swallowed him up, and only the meow
ing cat was left behind as a sign that
the man had once been there and play
ed high jinks. NJ. QUAD.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-17
Poor BoWSeT
Gels Excited
Meets With Series Of Mishaps and
Tries to Hold Mrs. B.
Responsible.
INQUIRIES FOR THE COOK
Raises Rumpus When He Hears She
Is Out, but His Moiher-in-law !.
Squelches Him.
FOR THE COOK
lcopyrisht. f9s. By R. D. Mcclure.l

copyright. f96 BY r. B. Mcclure.l
w THES Mr. Bowscr left the
w down down three Or s''s four step. q
the stairs and a soulless
man laughed at him. When be got out
on the street a newsboy ran against
him aud disturbed his equilibrium.
When be- took the street car woman
grabbed him by the coat tails to draw
herself up the step. and when be swore
about II she said be was baldhead
and no gentleman. The conductor
worked of nickel quarter on him In
his change, and cross eyed man want
cd 10 touch him on the chin for luck.
Therefore when be got home he was
ready TO hold Mrs. Bowser responsible
for everything that had happened. OF
course she was to blame for it-0f
course. Would any son Of gun Of a
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-17
( logs to Astoria is light, mark
his a most desirable point for the

his a most desirable point for the
nutactuer of lumber The advant-
ages offered by this city as milling
point are beginning 10 attract the at
tention OF mlllmen who desire TO OPP
ate economically. and before Ions
astoria will rank as the largest lum-
ering producing port on the Pacific
cast.
The growth OF the salmon industry
will likewise prove OF great benefit tc
Astoria. BY means OF artificial propa-
CATION, this magnificent business has
come to stay. It will be built up. with
In n few years, to four times It's present
magnitude. and viii then mean more
than slO.OOO.OO0 annually to the city
Several Alaskan salmon canneries are
owned and operated here and each
year bring large sums TO their homt
ofiice. The possibilities OF Astoria as a
fishing port or center in other lines OF
fishing Industries are also OF great
Importance, and the attention of capt
talists Is called to this city as deep
sea fishing center; also to the great
runs OF genuine French sadrines which
come into the river by the hundreds OF
billions every Year.
The lower Columbia river district
with its mild climate, offers unsur-
passed inducements TO dalrymen, farm
ers and small-fruIt growers. While
small fruit growing has not been ex'
tenslvcly engaged In, those who have
followed II have been most successful
and one enterprlsing grower is now
harvesting two strawberry crops a
year--the only instance Of the kind
known in this section OF the country.
Settlement OF the productive lands OF
the county will work wonders for the
city and assist materially in its up
building.
There are many other resources
which will combine to bring about the
future greatness OF Astoria. Here are
to be found opportunities for men in
every walk OF life--capitalists small
investors, farmer, dairymen, fruit.
grover and laborer. This new country,
where fortunes await the energetic,
offers to those seeking location the
best advantages of any section of the
west.
In every respect Astoria is metro
polltan. It enjoys splendid facilities
of all kinds, is pleasure-loving city
ani thoroughly up-to-date. Thou
sands OF strangers visit Astoria every
month, and during the summer season
It Is the Mecca of those who live In
the interior. 1t has its different quar-
ters, like the larger cities, and. best of
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-17

the kitchen once or twice he daped not
venture into the open. Dinner was
made ready and finished In half an
hour, and then Nr. Bowser was ready
for other business. He had a griey-
ance against the cat, the cook and Mrs.
Bowser. aud he anticipated having
good time that evening No one who
has read Of him can call him cruel
hearted; he simply likes TO have a
racket on hand TO vary the m0n0tony.
He Is never TO blame for anything, and
II brings joy TO bis heart to convict
others.
{ "Well, suppose I'd better telephone
for the doctor and hear the worst at
once" he said as he came tramping
upstairs.
II told you II was only a headache" !"
replied Mrs. Bowser.
Yes. you told me 50, but IL you amt
Ia for case Of spinal meningitis then
I'll miss my guess. They live about
three days with that disease. believe" :"
Il shall be all right in. the morning" !"
"Or marked for death. ! have offered
to telephone for the doctor, and that's
all can do. It's your fault that you
are where you are anyway. Why will
women be 80 careless?"
Mrs. Bowser. whose head was throb-
bing and beating with the pain. made
no reply. and presently he went on:
Il was told about woman the other
day who was eating burdock leaves to
improve her complexion-eating bur
dock leaves and drinking lobbered milk.
Perhaps you have been trying iti IL
you have. IT serves you just right"
She almost smiled to herself at the
thought. and he kept quiet for two min
utes before be said:
who has gone and skewjawed that
bureau across the corner? 1t was never
that way before"
''It--it was moved this morning she
replied.
"But why. That bureau was stand
Ing against the wall. and no one had
any business moving 1t. You know I
can never sleep in room where things
are skewjawed around. ! shall put 1t
back at once
please wait until morning"
"Not a minute. II makes me nerv-
Gus to sit here. You might as well
have the bed cater-corner across the
room. Was 1t that fool Of a cook who
did IT."
"No, sir, 1t wasn'tr' exclaimed a
voice that brought out the goose flesh
in second. 1T was the undersigned,
and want TO know what Lemuel
Bowser is going to do about it."
Mr.. Bowser knew 1t was the mother
in-law before he turned, and he knew
that she must have been in the house
when he came home SO she was, but
she had hidden away and let him get
his own supper aud only appeared
when a denouement seemed to be call
ed for.
well, why don't you throw your
arms around my neck and kiss meT'
she asked as he stood looking at her
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-17

are six large school buildings here
The schools are conveniently located in
all sections Of the city. and in every
respect are modern in their appoint
ments. well-appointed schools are to
be found throughout the county. and
children living on farms and In viii
lagos enjoy educational advantages al
most equal to those afforded city chill
dren.
Astoria's Water System.
Astoria possesses a 100000 gravity
water system, which is not equalled
in equipment by any other system In
the Pacific northwest. The water
works are operated by the municipal
government as represented by the
water commission. and constitute tnt
city's most valuable asset. The water
is brought from Bear creek, about IL
miles distant, which has its source in
the mountains.
The reservoir Is situated on the pla
teau back Of the city, where the sup,
ply is regulated. The water system Of
Astoria Is extensive enough to supply
the needs OF 100000 people besides af-
fording fire protection to all parts Of
the city.
The laundering Industry.
nha 80 HAl, IL
has the greatest body of timber tribu,
tary and available OF any point in the
world
The numbering business is the larg-
est in the Pacific northwest 1t out.
ranks in value Of product any other
line. Production Of wheat is a close
second, being worth s1I0OOOOO a year,
while the value Of the lumber output
is s1S,OOOoOO. Coal, gold and silver,
fruit, cattle and sheep, wool and fish,
all of which are produced in great
abundance, fall far below, nor hardly
equal in the aggregate, the wealth de,
rived from the forests. The town,
therefore, that commands the greatest
resources available of fine timber must
have great outlook Demand for
timber win not decrease. but become
greater with every year.
The. timber trees of the forests tribu-
tary TO Astoria are, in order of quail
ity; Douglas fir commercially known
as oregon pine; hemlock, spruce and
cedar. There are also soft, or birds
eye, maple. vine maple, alder, wild
cherry, willow, etc.
The fir is both red and yellow. 1t
grows FIVE to IA feet in diameter and
15O to 800 feet tall; s51 feet is said to
have been measured on one fallen tres
In the coast mountains. Considerable
noble fir. Or lareh, and some white pine
are found on the highest of the coast
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-17
FACTS ABOUT ASTORIA AND ITS INDUSTRIES

mountains, but little near Astoria. The
spruce. OF the tideland species, is found
only on the west slopes of the coast
mountains. 1t attains diameter vary
nng from about an average of six feet
10 16 or II; and specimens 81 and 6s
feet each in girth have been measured
Is to 21 feet in diameter. Hemlock
occurs as a mixed or smaller growth
with fir and spruce, trees seldom being
Of great height, although often very
large. Yet cedar is found mixed with
the other timbers. the trees seldom be-
ing Of greater height, although often
very large. Yet cedar is not plentiful
in this section. In general estimates ol
timber production 10000 feet to the
acre are ollowed. Single acres have
been known to produce ten times this
lamount. Quarter sections of timber
land on the market are usually esti-
mated at 100000 to 100000 feet each,
board measure.
Mills and Manufacturing.
Although manufacturing is as yet in
Its infancy in Astoria, more than 1900
persons are employed in the institu-
tions now doing business here. The
salmon industry employs by far the
greatest number Of persons. but the
seasons extend over a period Of only
about six months, and at other times
those engaging in 1t follow other lines
of pursuit. The numbering industry.
including box factories, barrel factor
les, ETC., is rapidly assuming proper.
tions, and Will, within few years. out
rank the fishing interests,
|. Astoria wants more manufacturing
concerns, and offers the very best in
ducements to capitalists. Here are to
be found unexcelled sites. with the ad.
vantage of both rail and water connec.
tions, and the intending investor in
western properties should look over the
Astoria situation, Sites can be secured
at very low prices.
More than sS,OOO,OOO is invested in
manufacturing plants here. while the
value of the yearly product exceeds
$500, 900. In ALL 4S41 persons are em-
ployed, receiving annual wages that
aggregate s2,O59,6OO.
Salmon Industry.
Astoria owes its existence largely to
the great salmon industry of which 1t
Is the center. Year after year the CO.
lumbia river has given up its wealth
of fish, and in the past 25 years has
yielded $75,OOO.OOO. nearly all of which
has been placed in circulation in this
city. Where other crops have failed,
the salmon supply has maitnained its
average of production, and in this re-
spect can be classed as one Of oregons
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-17

Charley, dear" said young Mrs.
Torkins, Il hope you are not going In
to politics"
What made you think of thatY'
Il heard You talking in your sleep
about standing pat = Washington
Star.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-17
Haughty Thing.

what do you think Of Miss Star
fish," asked the lobster.
Not so very much answered the
oyster. II proposed to her last night,
and she called me lobster"
And when | proposed to her she
shut me up like an oyster. Chicago
Tribune,
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-17

Mother-The professor says he can
make concert singer out Of Grayce.
What do you think Of the idea?
Father-Splendid. She wouldn't sing
in the parlor any more then. would
she:-Detroit Free Press.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1905-08-25
Michigan Forestry Association.
First Convention Held at Grand Rapids
August 1880.

TUESDAY, AUGUST %.
1000 a. m.-Call to order. Park Congre-
gational church.
PREDATORY word-Thornton A. Green,
Ontonagon.
Election of committees on organization
and resolutions.
Five minute addresses on Michigan for
est situation, by Dr. Beal, II. w. Car
ely, j. H. Bissell, j. j. Hubbell and
others.
ll:30 a. m.-Address by Alfred Gaskell,
Washington, ID. G.
200 p. Welcoming address by May
Sweet, and response by the chairman.
Report of forest commissioners work by
members of commission and forest
warden.
Report on permanent organization and
selection of permanent officers.
Discussion on phases Of the forestry
problem in Michigan by lumbermen,
manufacturers and educators.
4:30 p m.-Address by Clarke of Toronto,
Ontario.
EVENING SESSION IN RYERsON LIBRARY.
500 p. m.-Platform addresses on the
following subjects:
IA state forest policy-Whatitco COM
prehends.
2.-Protection of forests from fire and
trespass
3.-The problem of taxation as affect
ing virgin forests and reforestation.
WEDNESDAY.
$50 a. m.-Report of committee on reso-
lutions.
Address by DR.. G. e. Ferncw, Ithaca,
n.
Address by II. Nj. Suter, Washington,
DC.
Adjournment.