davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
GLOBE SIGHTS.
rFrom the Atchison GIobe.I

TFrom the Atchison Globe.I
Every day a bad luck story breaks out
in new place.
The funniest thing in the world is the
staid family man when he tries to hirt
A health resort is a place where people
run themselves to death in pursuit OF
pleasure.
Ever notice that the number of women
who are supporting their husbands is IN
creasingl
If we dislike anyone we believe we dis
like him a little more when he IS playful
than at any other time.
We hate to say it, but having sweet
heart is counted by man employers
among the bad habits.
You no longer see women wearing gar
ments Of hideous cOlors, the men monop-
olfzfng all those shades in their sweaters.
When Big Sister takes a music lesson
the other children in the family are com
PEELED to maintain d silence that IS so deep
it is almost religious.
Inventors keep fooiing with airships,
submarine boats, etc, when all the time
an umbrella stay which will not rust out
remains undiscovered
If a lodge woman is a good manager she
easily as a travelling man can travel at the
expense Of the house
When a young man walking on the
street with his girl changes at every turn
so that he has the outside of the walk.
she thinks: What q noble protector he
will be to the lucky woman who gets
him."
We can tolerate the man who geys DRUNK
in the evening occasionally and who WORKS
ing intensely from bust head. But the
man who gets drunk in the morning ana
as usual the next day, although surfer
stays drunk three or four days and seems
to enjoy every moment Of his debauch,
Wearies US to the point Of desperation
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
Logan ana Memorial Day.

In July, 1861, q congressman left his
seat. He had a plug hat in one hand
and a musket in the other, he was on
foot and on the run to overtake the
union troops that were marching out of
Washington to meet the enemy; he was
one Of the last to leave the battlefield at
Bull Run. In 1862 when urged to be-
come a candidate for denomination to
congress he declined saying, Il have
entered the field to die, if need be, for
this government ana never expect to
return to peaceful pursuits until the OBJ
ject of this war of preservation has be-
come a fact established" That man
was the fearless volunteer leader Cen
eral John A. Logan, the G. A. r. COM
mander who Instituted Memorial day
and afterwards referred to it as the
proudest act of his ife.-Congressman
Charles Curtis
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
New Way of Making a Living.

A writer in one Of the current maya
zines directs attention to a new profes-
sion that has arisen in this Countrywide
profession of getting hurt, by which
money is extorted from railroads and
other corporations. q If the corporations
would show more eagerness to settle
bona fide claims and a disposition to
pursue to the end the prosecutor of
bogus ones public sympathy would aid
them powerfully in putting an end to
the new profession. The policy very Of
ten followed Of treating all claims alike
and scaling each down to the lowest
cent after the longest possible delay
IS responsible not only for the growth
OF the get-hurt-quick people, but for the
comparative lack of public indignation
at the new species Of fraud.-Pittsburg
Dispatch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
JOURNAL ENTRIES

City Attorney Frank Dreaming
seems to be playing Togo to the joint
lists Rojestvenslzy in the district court
The sacred ikon stubbed its toe
again in going through the Straits Of
Korea.
It is probably called Wall street be-
cause SO many lambs 90 to the wall
there.
The weather bureau must have
bought a new straw hat and ordered
weather to suit.
If Jerry Black goes to the Rock
Island, the country. editors along that
road can save q lot of work by look=
ing up the files of the papers along
the Santa Fe and clipping the nice
things they have said about Jerry.
1t looks as though the White Sox
have taken a copyright on sixth place.
There's nothing in a name again:
A dog that has recently been re-chris-
tened Togo had the daylights licked
out Of him by a measly little cur yes
terday.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
Mr.. Edison,s watch.

To Mr.. Edison, time is so valuable
that he does not waste it even by TAX
ing account Of it. Time to him is only
the chance to get things done: and no
matter how long it takes, they must be
got done. In his Office safe there is
carefully locked away a S2,70O Swiss
watch, given him by a European
scientific society. 1t is never used. He
buys a stem -winder costing a dollar
and q half, breaks the chain ring off,
squirts oil under the cap of the stem,
thrusts it into his trousers pocket
and never looks at it. When it, gets
too cIogged with dirt to run, he lays it
on a laboratory table, hits it with a
hammer and buys another.-World's
Work for June.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

LIME IL.

The birds are singing in the trees
Why shouldn't they7 They take their ease
They. loaf about the woods all day.
And haven't any rent to pay.
The flowers bloom and gayly bow
w ny shouldn't thes2 Who'd make a row
# down below they had a root
Preparing food and drink to suit2
The trees are rustling all their leaves
W ny shouldn't they2 Who Is there gri0veS
When neatly dressed from top to toe
And not a cent to pay or over
The fishes dart about the sea-
Why shouldn't they? It seems to me
That men enjoy mere rambling. too
Provided there's no work to do.
The little lambs do skip and play
Why shouldn't they NV hats in their wa17
They have no bIic-a-brac to smash
Or doctors bills to pay in cash.
All Nature finds the world atune-
Why shouldn't she? The month is June.
Ihs grass is green, the sky is blue
How very trite that is, though truaf
Tudor jerks in Harper's Magazine.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
Must Go out AS He Went In.

s'I've heard tales of supershtious
women" said the very obliging young
man. "but a woman who lives in our
neighborhood has them all beaten. She
occupies a twin house just above ours,
and. despite her constant dissertations
on hoodooisrn, is rather popular. The
other day she went out without her
kew. and when she returned home
could not get in. She was on the pave
ment almost crying when / came
along Naturally offered to assist by
climbing in window I went to the
twin house and, climbing through
second-story window, got on the
porch. Then I squeezed through
tiny bathroom window into her house.
After I opened her front door started
10 leave. when she stopped me. With
evident embarrassment she explained
that if I left by any other route than
fi1e one by which I entered, death
would surely visit the house use sum UNI
oIJsr fTe roofs. Well. as she is young
and pretty, and I'm obliging, I did
IT: but you can bet the next time she
loses her KEY someone else will 5eop~
artiize his life. Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
rFrom the Philadelphia Record,
s..-~s a "a IN

TFrom the Ph1laQelpnla NeCoHos1
Awnings are on.
Now for the man with the hose.
Every dog has his day. but he should
be prepared for the wurst-
There's a time for everything, but few
Of US can ind the time.
other peoples troubles always seem
greater than they really are
Even the sweet girl graduate is liable
to turn sour in a thunder storm.
Never give up'' is a good motto, but
the chronic borrower can't see it.
If a man never wanted the earth before
he wants it when he is eeastck.
A lantern-jawed woman may be the
light of mans life just as wei as a
rdoon-faced one.
Time is money, Of course; but most Of
US would prefer to have a fellow take Up
our time.
When a trout sees fish basket he does
not make up mis- mind to get there by hook
or crook.
Mrs. subbubs Gust home. from shoppingl
II saw the Iovel1est pink lawn today. "
Mr.. Subbubs (who has been moving the
grass)-sGreat Scotti If 7 talked about
seeing pink lawns you'd accuse me OF
drinking too much
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
cables to Japan costly.

His size, his color and his eyes indi-
Gated his Japanese blood. He stepped
briskly to the cable Office in the cor
ridor of a Fifth avenue hotel and Of
fered a long cablegram.
81 think that will cover the cost,
he said in pure English, laying down
more than $500 in bills of large de-
nomination. The receiver for the
cable company counted the words and
figured for a few minutes, referring
repeatedly to the book on the desk.
He counted the money nodded and
said: Exactly right sir thank you"
A Commercial reporter who was
standing near asked: do you have
many dispatches like that at this Of
fee 2"
ooh, yes. The Washington legation
makes its headquarters at this hotel
when in town, and we get good
many cables for the japanese govern
ment. These secretaries have every
dispatch figured to a cent and always
pay cash. The cables are in cipher.
fine war is getting interesting again"
New York Commercial.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
REFLECTIONS or A BACHELOR
IRON the New York Press.1

= Z UIE EIeaS-T
The way to mans heart is through his
stomach and to his reason through his
pocket
When a girl really gets indignant for
kissing man against her will it is a. sign
some one was looking.
A man is not old until he no LONGER
stops when a woman is getting on q street
car to see what kind Of stockings she
wears.
Nothing horrifles a woman who lodges
paying her street car fare more than to
read about a. man who has robbed a bank
When a man measures his happiness by
how many hours he slept the night before
1t is a sign he has been married long
enough to have large family.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
Cottonwood Falls. Kan. o
..EngIish al SIC ii Jananesed-,.


In the Worlds Work for June there
ss an amusing account OF the English y
labels on japanese limitations of Amer
lean goods. The following is from Mr..
James Gordon Smiths article on
"Japan's Closing of the Open Door .
Often the Japanese imitator pro-
duces laughable labels that are worthy
of noting as specimens Of English as
she is Japanesed:" Take for instance
a label on a bottle of wine produced
at a native hotel in southern japan
when asked the boy to bring me
some st. Julien. The label on the bot
tie he brought read:
F'ogren County Wines Little Seal St.
Julien bottled by Bordeaux
A label placed on some alleged
English beer read:
THE efficacy of this Beer is to give
the health and especially the strength
for stomach. The favour is so sweet
and simple that not injure for much
drink
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
sPRINe KANsAs.

The morning is sparkling ana fresh and
The breath of the llacs is sweet on the
air;
The birds twitter loud that the day has
begun,
And the silver mists 60 chased away by
the sun.
There's a glimmer of green on the prai-
rie's brown sod:
There's the smile Of the Spring where the
Winter hath trod:
fear,
For life is abloom with the 1ubilant year,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

Having lost his hope for victory,
been soundlyz licked, had his feet de-
stroyed, had his head broken. and
been taken captive, Admiral Rojest-
vsnsky appears to have fully qualified
himself to write a magazine article
on How it seems to be In hard lucIS.''
Ottawa Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
WILL START soMETHING.

The announcement that Japan will
request Of France the somewhat size
able sum of a hundred million dollars
for permitting parts of the Russian
fleet to dwell in their territory off the
coast of the east, will likely start
something in Paree.-Salina Union.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
DOUBTFIJI IN KANSAS.

If the story had said that the Jap
anese navy with 2 inch guns forced
Mrs. Lease to keep still it might have
carried some weight. But two plain
burglars with revolvers=weIl, the
story may get some credence outside
of Kansas.-Ottawa Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
OUGHT no HELP SOME

Columbus has revived a law timing a
man who swears in the streets 81 fer
each offense. This will keep some OF
the Ohio politicians from talking
about one another in public.-Wash-
ington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

mighty inconsiderate of other Office
holders. Here he has declined a re-
nomination without asking his ap-
pointees whether they want another
term or not
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

AS manager of the New York sub
way company, Mr.. Morton won't be
asked any embarrassing questions or
invited to write a treatise on Rebates
q Have Given
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
mON OTHER PENS
HOW THE MIJDDLE STARTs

HOW I LIE WLJDDlE pIAHIo.
Some are denied their proper fame,
No matter what great deeds they do.
When History comes to write their
name
She dips her pen into the glue, red
ink, molasses, and pitch, then
blots it with the corner of the
table cloth.
Washington Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
GOOD THING ALL AROUND.

The song of American harvesting
machines is now heard IN the great
wheat fields OF Siberia This is better
for US than sending guns and bomb
shells there. It is also better Tor the
sibeEiane.--L.os Angeles Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
GOOD WHEAT sTORY

A farmer out in the wheat belt
found several dozen dead rabbits
along side his large wheat field with
their brains butted out. Upon investi-
cation 1t was found that the rabbits
met death by trying to run through
the thick wheat before they found the
way around.-Councu Grove Repub-
Hcan.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
A "FAMILY" GATHERING.

A Doniphan county reunion last
week was participated in by 500 de-
seendents and relatives of the original
settlers of '55. The paragrapher is
undecided whether to comment on the
the age of Kansas. the Partially of the
stork for the Denton. family, or the
danger of such big kin" gatherings.
Wichita Eagle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
KANSAS C0MMENT
ALFoNso Is NERYoua-

The telegraph today says that King
.sAt1onso is having just as good q time
IN Paris as If the attempt had not
been made to assassinate him. Don't
you believe it. He is as nervous and
apprehensive as any one would be.
9nls reputed bravery Of kings is all
hctlon.-Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
A DEMOCRATIC vTEW.

If Mr. Fairbanks continues to hold
his Office in a meek and inoffensive
way it is possible that the next Repub-
liean national convention will nomi-
nate him for a second term.-Atlanta
Constitution.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

There is said to be nearly 100000
acres less Of cotton in the south this
year than there was last. Now some
other reason for the low price Of the
crop viii have to be found.-Lawrence
Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Hoara NEWs WHILE W..

sway during the summer may have
Glhe paper mailed regularly each day
20 any address at the rate of thirty
cents a month. Address changed as
often as desired. While out OF town
tle State Journal Will be to you like
q daily letter from home.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
TOuEH ON PAIL

Critics Of Paul Morton should reflect
how hard it must be to Mr.. Morton
to give up a distasteful $4,000 job in
the cabinet for a $4,000 job in New
York that is just to his lilxing.-Hutch-
inson News
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
CONFUsING.

with the memory of the presidents
prowess as a bear hunter binding
their discrimination many an once
seeker and holder will wax enthusl-
astic and saw complimentary things at
sight OF goat-skin rug on the White
House. hoor.-Atlanta Constitution
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
A CREAT MTsTAKE.

The point made against Mr.. Loornis
is that he borrowed $4,000 from the
wrong party, and that sort of thing is
a great fault in public official
Memphis News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

Now it is stated that the battleship
Kansas will be launched in September
with wine. Only three months are left
an which to pass resolutions on the
subject.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
JUST IMAGINE.

It is Secretary Loeb, and not the
president, whom North Dakota has in
vited to hunt rabbits. Imagine Teddy
hunting rabbits!--Atlanta Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
REVISED ESTIMATE.

That estimate of 69,2O2.O00 bushels
OF wheat for Kansas has been revised
71.3o7,45S bushels and 8 pecks.-
Wichita Eagle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

1t is noticed that Senator Long is
rapidly acquiring the gentle art, so
common in the United States senate,
Of talking on important subjects with
out saying anything.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

Senator EIkins says he is going to
take six months to study the railroad
question. 1t really isn't necessary. If
Elkins would only tell the investigat-
ing committee what he already knows
about railroad rates and rebates, the
people would be amply satisfied.-Ot-
tawa Republic.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
IT'S ROOMY ENOUGH.

While in Chicago Judge Parker may
have noted the first rate advantages of
Lake Michigan as a swimmin' hole
Milwaukee Sentinel
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

The japanese propose to build a
lighthouse on the straits of Korea in
commemoration Of Togo's victory. It
will warn future Russian fleets that
that is a good place to stay away
Ero77s
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

Still, Mrs. Lease is accommodating a
fine line of advertising as a result of
being burgled, far more than the
money she lost would have purchased.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

While Mr.. Taft insists on buying
where he can buy cheapest. that treas
ury deficit may compel him to buy
where he can buy on tick.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

The Chicago strike is. of course,
nearing the end. at the rate of twenty
four hours every day, but it may still
take a good many days to reach it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

If Governor HanIy lived in Kansas.
Gust as like as not he would not ap-
prove of any ''perquisites" for the
state treasurer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
low D1D THEY Gus IT?

There are people so utterly suspi-
cious that they fancy the war in the
scheme to sell newspape rs.-Dallas
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
THAT REBATE CAsE.

On July 1 Mr.. Paul Morton viii give
up the cabinet and the navy and will
undertake the direction of the subway
system in New York. The case against
the Atchfson railroad for granting re-
bates can then proceed.-Phiiadelp
Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

Mr.. Tricks Equitable report seems
10 have been that way, inasmuch as
a. intimetes that Alexander should go
with the Hyde.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

Perhaps the mikado intends to
propagate an Asiatic Monroe doctrine
for the purpose Of giving his fleet
something to do after he gets Russia
Kicked
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

If Philadelphia eontemplates going
Do sleep again, she should at least
put out some burglar alarms,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

Those correspondents who heard
the booming Of cannon off the Asiatic
coast several weeks ago have been vim
dlcated. The booming took place,
and they simply heard it in advance.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

mer. but he would appreciate it more
if it could be gathered into q single
magazine for him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

The indications are that the steel
PAIL trust has concluded to take its
Geet out Of the trough, so far as the
Eovernment Is concerned.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

The lola Record was sued for libel
recently. Nine Of the jury wanted
TO make the verdict look like thirty
cents, but they finally compromised
on fifty.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
As no MIcRORES-

Probably there were microbes in
our forefathers' days, only they didn't
keep them stirred uD all the time
Lewiston (Me.) journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

Naval authorities say that by the
end Of 1908 the United states will be
the second naval power on the globe.
There is an impression in these
whereabouts that we viii be the first
naval power by large majority as
soon as the Kansas is launched.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

Colonel Bryan really seems to sue
Eaed better on the lecture platform
than he does on the Democratic plat
Tnruq
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05
HUMOR OF THE Day

Gussie--Yes. Harold had the heiress
out In his automobile today He is
anxious to marry her.
Reggy-But what does he want with
an heiress? He is rich enough to own
an automobile.
Gussie-Yes, but he Is not rich enough
to pay his hnes.-Chicago News.
Waiter, this tablecloth is not ciean.''
mo, sir. But I dunno what we kin
do about it. We've turned it twice al
ready. '-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Mrs. Rabbit was very sick and Mrs
Fox was calling to condole with her
What seems the matter with vol1
dear2" inquired the visitor, ssympathetf-
cally.
General lassisude, pain in back, sides
and hips, headaches
Why don't you try a tonie?"
What's the use? My brother, who is
an old bachelor, is continually saying
that all hair tones are regular fraudsP'
New Orleans Times-Democrat.
The through train had stopped at the
little station for water.
What do you people do to amuse
yourselves here?" asked the passenger
with the upturned mustache and the
bored look who had stuck his head out
through a car window.
We'll, we git a lot O. fun comm to
the deepo an lookin' at the queer crit
tiers that goes through yere on the
k'yars," replied the native who was
lounging on the station platform.-Cht~
cago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

Russia will not have that billion in
demnity for Japan in her pocketbook,
but perhaps she can persuade Japan
to take her I. o. U. for the balance.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

The Arkansas valley is watching
with great interest Finny county's ex-
pertinent in putting out crude oil on
sandy roads. If it is a success the
same thing viii probably be done all
through the Arkansas valley where
there is any considerable amount Of
sand
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

Some of the standpatters charge
that President Roosevelt thinks more
Of his country than of his party That
constitutes a high crime in certain
circles, and ike as not the president
IA p14iitsy
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-05

The convtcts in the Minnesota peniten-
tiary publish a magazine. The last is
sue exhorts honesty to John D. Rookie
teller and advises him to try It.