Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-17
BArTLHsnlP KANSAS LAUNCHED


On the 18th of August the great
United States Bsttleship Kansas
was LAUGHED In the Delaware river
and christened with . bottle OF
spring water by Governor Hoch's
daughter by request of the w. c. T
u, of the Sunflower State.
This 10 the fret vessel since Noah
built the ark to be christened with
spring water. When the Kentucky
went down the ways some water
was used, but many bottles of old
rye, bourbon and moonshine were
hurled at her as she passed along
BY the patriotic Kentuckians. In
the case of the Kansas no liquor Of
any kind was used-not even bot
tie of peruua was permitted to desc
crate her bow.
The Kansas 10 one of the fines,
battleships in our navy. She 10 "a
cost $S,000,OO0; she 10 $50 feet long
and 70 feet wide; she will make IL
knots, and will carry isheavy rifled
cannon and about 30 smaller pieces
II will take about 1000 men to prop.
erly man her.
And where will our government
get men TO serve on this ship
christened with water? No able yea
man or competent sailor will ever
enlist to serve on the Kansas. Sail.
ors are the most superstitious peo.
pie In the world and az a rule they
won't stand strictly water diet II
has been suggested that Governor
Hoch call on the w. C. T. u, of Kan.
sas to volunteer for this service
Surely there are 1000 bloodthirsty
fighters among the many munici'
pal female voters of Kansas to mp.
hold the honor of the flag and the
virtues of Kansas spring water.
Mrs. Nation would make q good
commodore and she has q number
of lieutenants to fill the minor of.
fees. The W. C. T. u, have "butted
in" on this propositions; Now LET
them complete the program. I'm
agine crew of this kind in storm
at sea or an engagement with an
enemy. "Sail hop screams the look
ont. "Where away" inquiries the
captainess. "Three points nor-by-
nor.east of the port bow" "What
does che look like?" ~ think she lie
a Dutchman; they are drinking
lager beer" "Clear the decks for
action! Pipe all hands to quarters!
Tell the bo's'in to serve ice tea and
mayonaise! Double shot the guns
with Baxter Springs water! Nail the
blue peter to the top mast! On
the torpedoes 60 ahead on both
wheels"
The cranks of Kansas never fail
to get in their work whenever there
is an opportunity to bring Disgrace
on the state and make ii laughing
stock of the world. BY breaking the
innocent custom of christening a
vessel with champagne or red Ii.
quor they have done more harm to
the cause of temperance ten times
over than if they had minded their
own business and permitted the
usual custom to prevail.
Governor Hoch wanted to christ
en- her with crude oil or Kaw river
mud which might have been better
than the alkali spring water. but
why should we be forever classed
az the cranky state of the unionl
The mere suggestion of a few bigots
and fanatical women brings Kan.
sas once more to the the front az
the state where all those who have
in their heads have found a
place. When Mrs. Diggs
and Mrs. Lease went to
New York, and Jerry Simpson
started a national bank we thought
crankism in Kansas was on the
wane, but here they have broken
ont again with the republican gov
ernor and Stubbs leading them
on-and for heavens sake where
are we atr
This great broad state with its
crops of wheat and corn,
oil, gas, salt and politi.
cians, with q boom in every city
and town; its banks overlooking
With money on deposit; its debts
MI paid and money to loan has
once again stopped over and sent q
squad of short-haired women and