davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
GLOBE sIGHTa.

IF'rom the Atchison Globe.1
EVERYONE has a contempt for the par.
ents of a spoiled child.
No wonder livery horses are lazy:
they would be dead If they were not
lazy.
Any man who can keep a dollar
watch going can keep an automobiIs
going.
1t is rot enough to be a member of
a. church: To be acceptable, you must
also be a pillar.
No one is very busy unless he has
twelve things to do, eleven OF which
must be done first.
If man isn't handy about the house.
ne might as well be shorter in stature
than his wife.
The sixteen year old girl thinks she
is mighty sweet, but the little girl of
seven or eight can beat her a mile.
1t must be a great blow to Thomas
w. Lawson: To start in to convulse the
world, and wind I'D at a Chautauqua.
Last year, we remember, there was
only one kind of bug in raspberries; but
this year we can distinctly taste two.
There is a good deal of doubt about
good many things, but you can de-
pend on this: free horse will be ridden
hard.
If a late Atchison man could see how
well and happy his widow looks he
would be miserable, even IL he is in
heaven.
When a woman's daughter tells her
she cannot dance, the mother always
says: why, your pa says am a good
dance.''
When you have no other reform to
think about, here is one that is always
important and timely: You talk too
much.
when I get compliment, there is
always this string to 1t: Other people
don't like you, but I think you are all
right Drake Watson.
An. Atchison man says he wouldn't
know how to propose to girl. Needn't
worry: let him get to going with a girl,
and she will attend to that
Some one asks The Globe this ques-
ton: How long should visitor stay
We don't know, being Of the opfnion
as a rule that she shouldn't arrive
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
JXYHAWKER JOTS

The Troy Chief thinks Ed Howe
must be a dude because he pays as
much as twelve dollars for pair of
trousers. The average editor says the
Chief, gets a whole suit for that
amount.
Tom Cordry: When the next state
convention is held and Topeka comes
in with seventeen candidates. it hopes
that the rest of the state will remem-
Der that it gave up the presidency of
the Christian Endeavor union without
screaming.
Elijah w. Sells, of the firm of Has
kins & Sells, the accountants who have
the job of examining the state treas
ury, was once a telegraph operator at
Baldwin. Mr.. Sells himself is one of
the accountants employed to straight
en- out the Equitable tangle in New
York.
Judge F. E. Gillett, formerly of
Kingman, but now living in Okla
homa, was the pioneer in fighting the
beef trust. Away back in 1889, when
combines in the packing business were
first beginning to form, Judge GiHett
introduced resolution in the Kansas
state senate calling a national conven-
ton at ST. Louis to formulate plan
to control the packing industry and
to prevent it from expressing the
people.
Father Beck, of the Holton Re-
SO
than a cattle thief. In commenting
on a remark of Tom McNeaPs which
was noncommittal on the subject, Mr..
Beck takes this ground Suppose .
he says, you had son and a herd
of cattle in a neighborhood where
there was q cattle thief and a joint
keeper. Suppose the jointist would get
your son into his deadfall and get
Inn drunk, and suppose the same night
the cattle thief would steal one of
your steers, or for that matter your
whole herd; which would cause you
the most sorrow and sense of loss
Suppose there are two poor families
living in that neighborhood, and the
cattle thief steals the only COW belong
ing to one of those families, but the
head of the family is sober and in
dustrious, and can in time earn the
money to buy another COW; but while
this is going on the husband in the
other family is enticed into a joint and
| forms the drink habit, and after a
while his only COW is sold for money
that is expended in liquor. Which OF
| the two, the thief or the jointist, does
| the most harm and is the greatest
curse to that neighborhood? The
more we think about 1t the more the
question appears to become one
sided.''
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
JOURNAL ENTRIES

The early fish also catches the worm
and gets caught.
AS soon as Silas Porter's opinions be-
gin to appear, we propose to stop our
subscription to Puck and subscribe for
the supreme court reports.
Never mind, the 4th of July won't
last very many days.
There is this difference: It's revolu-
tion when your sympathies are against
the government. When you are for the
government it's a rebellion.
While Justice Brewer may not have
been entirely correct in prophesying
that a woman may sometime be presi-
dent, he doubtless came close to it. It
is not at all improbable that some wo-
man may be the mother of presi-
dent.
Let us hope for the best: It may rain
on the Fourth.
What is needed worse than anything
else is an anti-toxin to curse graft.
The mints are preparing a new $40
bill which the officials expect to be
very popular. Their expectations will be
realized. Any old $40 bill is popular.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
WHAT JOHNNY THINKS.

The Fourth's a-comin' pretty soon,
My mother says she breads the dins
But long about the end of June
think it's high time to begin.
They're selling crackers now. SO
Can't zee there's any use to wait
An make no racket till July,
Right now's the time to celebrate
It's bully when the Fourth comes round,
But after all it's just one day,
1t don't last long enough, I've found.
Ia like to start some time in May.
/ don't see that it matters when
It's better early than too late,
II can buy my crackers then
I've simply got to celebrate.
The celebration wasn't writ
Right off upon the Fourth, bet:
I guess they must have started it
Some time afore the time we set
So don't think a feIlsr should
Pay much attention to the date;
I guess right now is jest as good
AS any time to celebrate.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
THE THEATRICAL SITUATION

The prospects are now excellent for
the relief of Topeka from the grasp
of the Crawford theatrical trust, so
far as the cheaper attractions are con-
cerned. Topeka play-goers who desire
vaudeville and popular-priced attrac-
tions will be able to see them without
being compelled to go to a fire-trap
like the Crawford opera house.
Topeka people who enjoy the bet
ter class of attractions, however, will
still be under the heel of the Craw-
ford trust, unless sufficient pressure
is brought to bear on L. M. Crawford
and his associates to open the Grand
and make it available for use The
expenditure of a few thousand dollars
would put it in shape so that the best
attractions that come west could be
given in it, and it would be a credit
to the city.
The people of Topeka, Mr.. Craw-
ford's home, are certainly entitled to
just as good treatment as those of
Lincoln, Neb. Mr.. Crawford has
theaters in both cities. A few weeks
ago he gave Lincoln two Shakespear-
ian plays, presented by some of the
greatest stars of the country, Richard
Mansfield, E. H. Sothern, and Julia
Marlowe. At the same time he was
giving Topeka nothing but a run of
cheap melodrama-and charging ex-
orbitant prices for some of that.
There are other managers who
would take the Grand and give To-
peka what it is entitled to-a first
class playhouse-but the Crawford
management plays the dog in the
manger and keeps others out. How
long will it last?
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
THE GOAT

Secretary Wilson. of the agricultural
department, has Matched another
Scheme in the interests of the people
He is arranging to butt into the milk
business. He proposes to send an ex-
pert goat man around the world in
search of fine goats. The poor people
theory is that 100 fine niIch goats will
relieve the distress. The first cost of
such goats may seem little dizzy in
amount, to the common herd, but
what's the diff" Uncle Sam is rich
enough to buy us all a goat. The aver
age goat, however, and the fine goat
is probably no exception, will not be
expensive to keep in the poor sec
t1ons of the cities, where the alleys
and by-ways abound with stacks of
goat fodder Let the poor have goat
milk, 1t will do them good, and then
the goats will evidently multiply and
increase and may finally butt the ever
lasting chalk and water out of the
milk truSt.-Chanute Sun.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
THE DAY.

Another day to die tonight
And be portion of the past:
And is the splendid shore in sight,
And are you captain of the ship,
Or. sailing still before the mast
OF circumstance, and letting slip
The golden moments, do you still
Propose some day-some better day
To walk the deck commanding those
Who as your fellows now obey?
They are the great who, at the dawn,
With more than fair intentions rise
To center eager efforts on
Their duties, and who realize
The passing moments worth. the prize
Each splendid day is ere it's gone.
$. E. Kiser.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
[From the New York Press.J

IFrom the New York Press.J
The more agreeable man is to him
self the less he is to others.
There is no use denying that if you
kiss a girls lips too often that nice
taste os it rubs off.
Half the pleasure of making up a
squabble with some people is the chance
to have another.
A widow would give a good deal to
know as much about married life as
girls think they do.
A woman's clothes are a fine thing to
giveza man an idea OF how much there
is In the world he can never understand.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
Cheerful idiot.

'eWhy-" began the cheerful idiot.
When the chorus of groans had died
down little he began again:
what is the difference between Ja-
son when he passed the Siren shore on
his trip for the golden fleece and an
old couple who have been married
fifty years or so and are still in love
with each other"
The Bachelor Boarder murmured
that there was no difference, because
the characters were fictitious in both
cases.
mo" said the Cheerful idiot, with
wide grin, lone was lashed to the
mast and the others are mashed to
the last
And a great gloom settled upon the
dining room.-Baltimore American.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
MAY BE OTHERS.

Judge Theodosius Botkin, who used
to hold court in western Kansas with
a gun and a black bottle, has been ap-
pointed United States consul to some
foreign place. Few people were aware
that Botkin was still living until the
appointment came. And this suggests
the awful possibility that several other
old time statesmen are merely Sleep
ing and may return,--Iola Record
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
WHAT rs IT FOR?

Walter Wellman asks a good many
significant questions about the Equita-
bic Assurance Society in his New York
correspondence with the Chicago Rec
ord-Herald. But ne does not ask how
Senator Chauneey M. Depew earned
$780, 900 a year from the Equitable for
legal services. When the Equitable had
need of legal services it employed other
counsel. The annual contribution of
$50, 900 to Depew was evidently paid for
his friendly smiles and his seasonable
adelphia Record.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
where They Lost Their Luck


In dawdling.
In indeciSiOn.
At the race track.
In poor judgment.
In worry and fretting.
In magnifying difficulties.
In a bad business location.
In trusting unworthy people.
In trying to get rich quickly.
In letting their ambition cool
In overSanguine expectations.
At the end of a fishing rod
In not daring to take chances.
At cheap, demoralizing shows.
In not mastering their moods.
In getting into the wrong place.
In making a business a pleasure.
In not quite knowing their business.
In waiting for something to turn up.
1t went down in drink and up in
smoke.
In trying to take short cuts to sue
cess.
In working only when they feel like it.
In not working to a plan or pro-
granme.
In neglecting their personal appear
ance.
In looking on the dark side of every
thing.
In overconfidence born of first easy
victory.
In choosing a silly extravagant girl
for wife.
In not being ready for the opportuni-
ty when it came.
In sarnpling every kind of investment
scheme that came along.
In dreaming of great things instead
of doing the little ones at hand.
In being so disagreeable and selfish
that they could not make friends.
It was burned up by a hot temper
which drove their employers and Gus
toners away.
In waiting for somebody to help them
or give them a boost, or for some rich
uncle to die.
In refusing to take the positions they
could get because they did not know
whether they would like the work or
not.-Orison SWEET Marden in Success
Magazine.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

With Silas Porter on the supreme
bench, future volumes Of the Kansas
supreme court reports ought to be as
entertaining in an anecdotai way as
from a literary standpoint. Justice
Burch, you know, is the ntterateur of
the supreme bench. Justice Porter will
be the humorist.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

Both Governor Hanly of Indiana
and Governor Folk of Missouri have
been struggling to put a stop to race
track gambling, which is prohibited by
the laws of those states. but Governor
Hoch will not be confronted with that
problem in Kansas. That is one he
will escape. hTe Kansas laws legalize
race track gambling two weeks in each
year
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
GOOD WORD FOR sTUBBs.

The talk of Stubbs for secretary of
the interior. is indorsed by the large
majority of Kansas people. Fact is,
Kansas Republicans stand ready to en-
dorse Stubs for almost anything. The
red headed contractor with the inno-
cent face and gentle smile made good
IN every department of a strong game,
and more than this, we like and ad-
m1re him for his unselfshness and
common SenSe-CoffeyVille Journal
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
HOME NEWS 1vH1LE AWAY.

Subscribers of the State journal
away during the summer may haV e
the paper mailed regularly each day
70 any address at the rate of thirty
cents a month. Address changed as
often as desired. While out of town
the State Journal Will be to you like
q daily letter from home.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
HE'S A coNNoIssE1rR-

Besides bear skins, the Topeka State
Journal calls attention to the fact that
President Roosevelt also has one of
the finest collection of sheep skins in
the country He also has the scalps of
more trusts than any other man in the
country.-Parsons Sun
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
AN ExAMPLE OF NERvE.

The Chicago Chronicle. a morning
paper which has a circulation of pos
sibly twenty thousand copies, says that
the evening newspaper is fake. The
great newspaper success of Chicago,
and of the country, is the Chicago
News, an evening paper. It must have
required a good deal of nerve to write
and print that sort of a notice in the
Chronicle office.4Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

It is stated that A. d. Walker viii
not ask for another term as railroad
commissioner in 1906. That ought to
leave the way open for W. A. Thomp-
son, who was beaten out of it last year
because the rightful Jackson county
delegation was thrown out of the Re-
publican state convention by the boss
busters
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

With John Madden as general attor-
ney for the Missouri, Kansas & Texas,
Governor Hoch can depend upon the
friendship of at least one Kansas rail-
road. even though Messrs. Kelly and
Burrow should call on the railroads to
assist financially in Spontaneous up
rising of the people" to place a new
man in the gubernatorial chair.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

That seems to have been a pretty
warn roast which Secretary Taft hand
ed to Chief Engineer Wallace, if
MIR. Wallsce's offense consisted
only in accepting what he thought was
q better Job when it came his way.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

strong men of southwestern Kansas
and he would have been a formidable
candidate in the race. His announce
ment will doubtless be received with
satisfaction by the other candidates.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
IN THE HARVEST FIELDS.

How would you like to be college
boy in wheat harvesting gang? The
sun would blister you. the crew would
roast you, the dust would choke you
the newspapers would give you a hot
write up, the mosquitoes would eat
you up.-Hutchinson Bee.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
AND A BLUE MONDAY
NEEDS NATIONAL oyERsIGHr

Many persons are coming to the con-
cIusion arrived at by President Roose-
welt that nothing short of national sup
ervision will meet all OF the contingen-
cfes suggested by the Equitable scandal.
Regular expert inspection. full publicity
and restriction of the powers of insur-
a11ce managers are the necessary ad-
juncts to honest administration and re-
duction in the cost of insurance to
policy holders. This is as clearly in
dicated by the Hendricks report as by
that by the Frick committee.-Pittsburg
Gazette.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
sUGGEsrION TO HocH.

If the order issued by Judge Dana,
OF Topeka, restraining two jacks from
braying, is effective, Governor Hoch
VIII know where to look for relief
from the noise from the direction OF
Eldorado that has been disturbing
him.-Parsons Star.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

Anyway the resignation of Justice
w. R. Smith from the supreme bench
will relieve the Smith congestion in
that tribunal
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
A suGGEsTION.

Why not have an investigation of the
Santa F'e rebate cases by a committee
consisting of Messrs. Ryan, Hyde and
Alexander? It would be a fair returr
for the services of Mr.. Paul Morton in
making an investigation of Messrs.
Ryan, Hyde and Alexander.-New York
Press.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

1t looks as though this years wheat
crop will bring the farmers of the
state in the neiShborhod of seventy
millions of dollars. With better than
eighty million bushels. worth from so
to 80 cents a bushel, the total receipts
will be unusually high. The greatest
value of any single wheat crop in Kan
sas heretofore was ffty-two million
dollars in 1903. Last year for sixty
I'VE million bushels the farmers re-
ceived about ffty-one million dollars.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
THE .CREECH BOOM.

The Creech gubernatorial boom
seems to have the unfortunate back
ing principally of men who failed of
appointment at the hands of Hoch.
The appointing power of a Kansas
governor does him more harm than
any other influence with which he has
to deal.-Lawrence Journal
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

John w BreidenthaI has bought an
other bank. The string of banks Mr..
Breidenthal has now would have
caused him to be denounced as a
doub1e-dyed plutocrat ten years ago.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
THB oLpEsT INHAB1TANT.

These 1S-hour trains rather stall the
oldest inhabitant. He cannot tell about
one that made it in 16:49 when he was
q boy. However, he can get even by
relating over again the tale of how
many weeks it took him to get through
back in the '3Os.-Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
FIRST AID FOR FUNNY MEN.

Luther Burbank, the Santa Rosa
plant wizard, is said now to have
achieved the feat of growing chestnuts
on trees only Is months old. Chauncey
Depew ought to get few of Mr.. Bur-
banks rapid-action chestnut trees for
his conservatory.-Bosto Globe.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

The action of Judge Francis E. Price
in announcing that he will not be a
candidate for congress in the Seventh
district next year, leaves the way open
for Judge E. H. Madison of Dodge City
to get his entire judicial district be-
hind him. Judge Price is one of the
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

Mr.. Bryan says the Democracy cannot
serve both the corporations and the
people. Hadn't heard of it having a
job with either Had you?
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
KANSAS COMMENT
IN PENNsYLvANIA.

Twelve grafters have been found
guilty in Shenandoah, Pa. There was
a time when Pennsylvania was a fine
state in which to live, but one is
Obliged to be exceedingly circumspect
there now, especially if one is in
politics--Wichita Beacon.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

If Mr.. Cleveland was elected on the
Equitable board as a dummy. he is not
working at it along that line.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

The CRATER is always in an uncom-
Portable position. He never knows
which of his allies will get caught and
soueal next.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

You can't make a boy believe it will
be just as much fun to wait till the
Fourth is really here.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

When we have a woman for presi-
dent do you suppose there will be a
P. S. tackled on to the presidents
message?
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

1t is pretty hard to get over the feel
1ng that Loomis ought to have bee
fred also, if Bowen was.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

The czar, like Governor Hoch. will
not take a Vacation this summer. Same
reason for both: Too busy.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

A Texas negro has been sentenced to
1,0O1 years in the penitentiary. Per-
haps the governor will commute his
sentence by throwing off that last year.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

Odessa seems to be getting into the
same class as Chicago, Warsaw and
LODI.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

What does Mr.. Bryan think of Mr..
cleveland as an Equitable man?
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

There is one thing the man with the
auto has hard work steering clear Of:
Debt.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
EROM OTHER PENS
Aw, RING OFF!

Aw, RING OFF!
Anyone who tries to telephone the
Russian army in Manchuria now is
pretty sure to be told that the Line
witch ia busy.-Toledo Blade.
ALMOST
The mints coined 81 400, 600 last month,
almost enough to meet Mr.. Rockefel-
ler's income for a Week-Los Angeles
Examiner.
AND A BLUE MONDAY.
Russia's color scheme: ga White
Gar" 'tRed Sunday in st. Peters,
burg and BLACK Friday in Lodz-
Boston Transcript.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

Don't you hire any servants at all to
keep this hotel clean? My room is in an
tim of the summer hotel lad
That is the fault of the windI'' declared
the proprietor blandly; you know we ad-
and Country
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

F1atbroke-I'm sorry 1 can't pay that
bill now-you'n have to wait a while. And
I'd like q suit this spring, too.
Tailor-You'H get it. I'm going to start
one tomorrow.-Cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

Faddy-Grimes tells me he is not can
didate for any office. All he wants, he
says, is to make an honest living
Duddy-If that is all he warts, of course
he isn't candidate for office. Strange
that a man will waste his breath Ettering
self-evtdent truths-Boston Transcript.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

why said he, does woman enjoy
going to the matinee and CRYING about
sorrows that do not concern her2"
II don't know said she. "Why does a
man enjoy going to ball game and get
ting indignant at an umpire whose decis-
ions do not affect him in the 1east?''-
Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

Piggmus-Here's an advertisement that
guarantees to make antique furniture out
of new. It says it can take furniture right
out of the factory and make it look one
hundred years old
Dismukes-That's nothingi My two
children Can beat that, and not Ealf try.
They've already done II with the parlor
set.-Washington Life.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

sPatience-why does he object to mar
riaSe?
Patrice-He says he does not beitsva
that two can live as cheaply as one
Patience-Suggest that il he rnarries voa
there will be only one.-Yonkers States
man.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

Notwithstanding what you saw about
Kraftie,.' said Goodart, 'the seems to be a
loyal fellow. He appears to keep in with
He should be kept in with Them re-
piled Crabbe. Most of his friends are in
jail."-Philadelphia Ledger.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

Mamma-Of course you said: stOh, this
Is SO sudden!" when Tom finally pro-
posed.
Daughter-No; fully intended to, but
was so excited forgot and exclaimed:
AT last!'-Chicago Daily News.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01

The early fish also catches the worm
and gets caught.