Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1905-11-22
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Mrs. Callahan-Moike! Moike!l WEEK
up; ut's tonne t take y'r insomnia
midicine.-Puck.
Yes, she's married to real estate
agent and good, honest fellow, too"
my gracious! Blgamy Philadelphia
Press.
Jaggles--I see horse SHE'D at
statue in Central Park. waggles-Hs
must have been one of those educated
horses.-Puck.
First Loafer-Did you help at tho
fire last night? Second Loafer-Yes. a
bit I got out of the way Of the Gre
engfne.-Puck.
Passenger-Have time to say good.
by to my wife? Conductor-Depends
on how long you've been married.
Fliegende Blaetter.
Poet-This, sir. is the only poem I
ever wrote. Editor-well, cheer up.
Nobody's going to take 1t away from
you.-Cleveland Leader.
What was your name before you
were married?" asked the Chicago
census taker. (which timer? queried
the lady.-Detroit Free Press.
What are the principal places Of
interest about New York;" You'll
have to ask some stranger. I've lived
here all my life, you know."-Judge.
Biffson-My wife always insists on
having the last word! Bangs-Well,
you're lucky! Mine always insists on
having the last dollar!-Detroit Free
Press.
Teacher Ito smallest boy in class)-
What well-known animal supplies you
with food and clothing. Smallest Boy
(after some thoughp-My father
Judge.
Papa, what's man who runs an
auto called?" 1T depends on whether
he is being called by his employer OF
by the man he has Just missed
Houston Post.
II promised to make call tonight"
said the man, preparing to go out.
"Very WELL" replied the wife; but
don't call unless you nave the cards."
Houston Post.
The Writer see you've got my
latest book there. What do you think
of It? The Reader-Oh, I've only had
time to read the last few pages Of II
as yet.-Tid- Bits.
"Who is supporting Starleigh this
season. His wife," His wife!
Why, never knew she was on the
stage" "She isn't; but she takes in
washing."-Baltimore American.
Slngleton-Have you decided what
you are going to call the baby, old
man? Enthusiastically. I'm go
ing to call him whatever my wife
names him.-Chicago Daily News.
Little Willie-Papa, why does the
railway company have those cases
with the ak and saw in every carr
Father presume they are put in to
use in case any one wants to open q
window.-Puck.
Hardupp-Havey you fve-dollar bill
you don't know what to do with1
smyke-Yes. here is one. Hardupp-
Thanks-but, say, this is a counter.
felt! smyke-Well. you asked ME for
one didn't know what to do with
Tales.
You haven't married me Just to
spite somebody else. have you?" she
asked. looking anxiously up into his
honest blue eyes. mo, dear" he alb
sent-mindedly replied; ~ took you for
your money alone."-Chicago Record
Herald.
MA" exclaimed Bobby, do you
like any one to bite your" mo, dear;
why7" well, Mr.. Buttin just bit sis
ter on the mouth, and she put her
arms around his neck and tried to
choke him. 1 guess she doesn't like
1t, either."-
How did you like my talk last
night?" asked the beginner in the lee
ture field. WELL" replied the candid
critic, you didn't take advantage of
your many opportunities" II didn't"
mo, you had number of opportuni-
ties to quit before you did."-Philadel-
phia Press.
Say" queried the sporty looking
man as he entered the intelligence
Office, "can you procure clerk for
me with voice exactly like mine:
Don't know" replied the manager:
whats the object?" II want him to
stay at the Office every night and an
swer the telephone when my wife
rings up" explained the party Of the
sporty part-Chicago News.
"As was coming in Just now," said
Mrs. Oldcastle, your footman used an
opprobrious epithet." my goodness"
replied her hostess, 81 must speak to
James about that. simply won't put
up with 1t. Josiah says unless there's
less of them used around here he'll
have to be gettin' them by the whole
SALE never seen the way servants
do waste things when they amt the
ones that have to pay for them
Chicago Record-Herald.
"Mr. Rangle," said the book agent,
."can 1 sell you a history of Menard
County," "Why, that happens to be
the county 1 was born and grew up
in" said the lawyer; what is the book
worth?" -Four dollars copy" "IN
take one." To Mr.. Rangle's intense
surprise the caller burst into tears.
whats the matter, young man." he
asked; was the shock too great for
you?" 'lt-it wasn't what expect
ed" sobbed the book agent; II had
made b-het of five dollars you'd kick
me outw-Chicago Tribune.
| Spontaneous Applause.
| A political orator was addressing In
English club Of Italian voters. To his