The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-15
HUMOR OF THE Day

Il IL " 4s4V4@ Va 4 &44 @~4s@ = III
Nell-old Mr.. Gotrox says he would die
BeIsBe careful, Re may Rs ss stronger
Kind Friend-Pardon me- but I ought to
tell you that Jones has run away with
Husband Cbored)-But why run?-Punch.
.evho is supporting Starlight this sea-
His wife? why, never knew she was
she isn'f, but she's taking in washing
American.
Gee whiz! here's the rain coming down
again and somebody's stolen my umorei-
Somebody's stolen what?''
Wen. the umbrella I've been n,, car a,,s
for the past two weeks. ''-Philadelpn
Press.
II hear that you really take pumpkins
for subscriptions to your paper" draWlsd
winding stairs to the editorial rooms of the
.Fer q while replied the editor.
Until the autumn poets stop sending
poems. We pay them OF in pumpkins. -
Chicago News.
May-Is he man you can trust?
b6SS-OH, yes. 6dQd says He OHGS CIV
erybody.-Judge.
DE man dat thinks he knows it an,''
said Uncle Eben, ginerally turns out to
be a victim of misplaced confidence" -
Washington Star.
First Kid-My grandfather was a pirate.
Second Kid-Dat's nothin'. My grand
father was a cab driver.-Philadelphia
Record.
Il see that Secretary Cortelyou is slated
for another cabinet position
met as sort of progressive game
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Sapleigh-Why do you dislike cigarettes?
Miss Knox-Beeause they are dangerous.
sapleigh-But have smoked them for 10
years and they haven't killed me yet.
Miss Knox-Yes, I know-and that's one
reason why 1 object to them.-Chicago
News.
Dick-I hope after we get married you
won't take small change out of my vest
like the joke writers picture.
Helen-Well. you know how you could
prevent me doing that?
Helen-Put a few notes in the pockets
and III skip the small change.-Chicago
Daily News.
Yes" said Grimes to the author of an
unknown new work, your book is per-
as if he were in some me royal Court" -e-9
Does he?'' asked the author with eager
Yes" said Grimes, there are so many
sleepy pages in it, you know.''-Boston
Transcript.
business-just a rush the whole time. He
sells everything just below cost, you
''But I don't see how he can make any
money that way
"Oh, but he sells so much Judge.
Are YOU going to entertain next win
mo" answered Mr.. Cumrox. I'VE are
the house. But don't expect that they'll
be any more entertained than usual
Washington Star.
80! you're cooked for this robbery all
right" said the detective. You left a
pats a lie!'' cried the prisoner, "de
only strong tool had wild me wuz jim
my, an I took dat away wild ne."-Phiia-
Mrs. NuriteheYes. we were going to
bungalow at Benton Beach.
Mrs. Ascum-Why didn't you?
in it-just fancy!-Philadelphia Press.
Gunner-You say that Plunger has made
an assignment. Why, you told me his bus
mess was just like cIoclxwork
Guyer-That's the trouble. He let too
down, and now his creditors are going to
wind up his Observation-Disclosures News.
Friend-Honest1y old fellow. I can't
make anything out of your poems.
Poet--That's my trouble, too!-New Or
leans Times-Democrat.
Lawyer-Your case would have been
stronger, Mr.. Mcguire, if you had acted
only on the defensive.But you struck first.
If you had let him strike you first, you
would have had the law on your side.
/. Mr.. McGuire-Yis. Ord had tn law an
moy soide. but Ord "a had him on Tnoy
stomach a-poundin' tn loife out av me-
New York Weekly.