Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1905-10-10
y Sss'nlsHES
xnsma(M&@ TON

---~-o~->-~.o-~--~o-~
Cholly-I have q beastly cold in my
head. Molly-Well, that's something.
Exchange.
What did your husband think Of
that 500 hat you bought last week.
on! he just raved over it"-Grit.
Tommy-Pop. what are hiccoughsf
Iommy's Pop Hiccoughs, my son,
are messages from departed spirits
Philadelphia Record.
Wife-John, you've been DRINKING.
Q, can tell! Husband-Well, dent
do 1t. m'dear. Let'sh keep it family
Observation-Disclosures Press.
Jeffreys does your brother
take married life? Esther-Accord-
ing TO directions His mother-in-law
is living with him.-Brooklyn Life.
He-Brt l thought you'd forgiven
me for that and promised to forget
1t? She-Yes-but l didn't promise TO
let you forget I'd forgiven it!-Punch.
First Insurance Magnate-W is
your favorite theatrical production?
Second Insurance Magnate-"Other
Peoples oaey"-Baltimor Ameri-
can.
She-And do you really love me for
myself alone? He-Sure. That's why
don't want your mother to live with
US after we are married. -Somerville
Journal
Mr.. Snooks-To what, sir, do you at
tribute your success as salesman?
Mr.. Sellem-If a customer doesn't see
what he wants make him want what
he sees.-Cleveland Leader.
Madge-Did Charlie propose to you
out In the auto? Dolly thought he
was going to, but he didn't When he
got down on his knees, it was only to
crawl under the old machine.-Puck.
Can you get work for me?" asked
the willing young man. I'm afraid
not" replied the Congressman, "but
can get you a government joo. if that
will help any."-Chicago Daily News.
Mrs. Browne wonder il the new
order of things will reform Mr.. Lusch-
ley to any extent. He's married,
understand. Mrs Malaprop-Yes, he's
a benedictine now-Philadelphia
Press.
Hell shall work hard, oh! ever so
hard, and, in year or two, Wen have
our own little home in the country.
She-Oh! how lovely. We can rent it
and board in town, can't we, dear?-
Brooklyn Life
Chicago used to aspire to be a lit
erary center" YES" answered the
New Yorker. "What do you consider
the best thing published there " The
timetable, showing when trains
leave" Washington Star.
"Ah," she sighed, sometimes l can
hardly convince myself that am not
growing old" We'll" her dearest
friend replied, that's what comes of
having mirrors scattered all around
the house."-Chioago Record Herald.
HE hasn't been in politics very
long, has he?" mo, but how did you
known ~ was walking with him to-
day just as a police patrol wagon
dashed up behind us. and he didn't
start guiltily or look nervous at ALL"
Philadelphia Ledger
Don't you think it is wrong for
your husband to bet on horse racesT
said the prudent woman. 1T is, very
frequently" answered young Mrs. Tor
kns. THE trouble is that you can't
tell when until after the race Is run.
and then it's too late. Washington
Star.
First Office Boy--Why did yer trow
up yer job at Biffum & Bangs? Sec
ond Office Boy-Why, couldn't stand
old Bangs impudence. He had de
crust ter tell me, right ter me face and
before de hull office, ter git out Nv de
place and never come back! Dat wuz
de last straw!-Life.
The Doctor have just returned
from a weeks shooting trip up north.
The Druggist-Kill anything? The
Doctor-No; not a thing. The Drug
gist-Huh! You could have done bet
ter than that by staying at home and
attending to your regular business
Chicago Daily News.
81 suspect" said Mrs. Oldcastle.
'that our new minister is a transcen-
dentalist." ooh" replied her hostess,
as she carelessly tossed her rope OF
pearls over the back OF the chair, do
you think so? My! I'd hate to be
one Of them. l should think they'd
fall downstairs or something, gettin'
I'D and prowlin' around that way in
their sleep. Chicago Record Herald.
81 never do things by halves" re-
marked Biffkins, and the waiter at his
elbow put on an expectant grin. He
had only expected a fifty-cent tip
maybe the gentleman would give him
more. "As 1 was saying" said Biff-
kins. pushing back his chair and &C
cepting his hat, 81 never do things by
halves. Especially in tipping. l al
ways use quarters Here you are?'-
Cleveland Leader
Great Number of Stamps.
The catalogue of the Thomas Tap