davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1905-07-16
BURYING TAVERN SIGNS

Whenever an inn on the Cumberland
estates Of the Howards Earls OF Car
buried. The obsequies take place ar
dead Of night in the presence of as
many of the old customers as can be
collected AS sort of liba ation a bot
tie Of spirits. generally whisky is poured
into the grave, and an appropriate
burial service is repeated The tenn
perance advocates In the crowd cheer
Justify. and the droughty element be
come mock mournerS, or testers as the
fancy takes them. The strains OF a
concertina or some similar instrument
usually help to enIiven the proceedings
The last Inn to have its signboard buried
was the Moor Cock, at Lanercost whose
license was taken away by the Bramp-
ton iustices.-London Tit-Bits.
The Washington times., 1905-07-16
HELD UP WRONG MAN.

When the conductor reached out his
hand and said. Fares. please the wo
man shook her head
az have no money" she said. my hus
band will pay for me"
The conductor looked around suspi-
ciously.
Were is 'e?" he asked.
''Out on the back platform. said the
woman. He stayed out there SO he
could smoke He always rides out there"
The conductor worked his way through
to the rear of the car Presently re-
turned.
Say" he said. confidentially which
is him? There's half a dozen men out
there and they're all smoking. Which
one belongs to you? What does nc
look like?"
Hes very good looking" said the wo-
man. proudly. He's tall. and he wears
blue serge suit and a straw hat with a
black and yellow band around it. You
can't mistake him for anybody else CT
anybody else for him.
'I found i'm all right" he reported
that time. but e Won't pay. He says
you amt his wife: He says e amt
never been married
''What?" exclaimed the woman. He
says I'm not-tEat he has never been
Good gracious! III see about this. You
tell him for me, please, that L am tired
Of this kind Of fooling., | won't pat up
with it any longer. Tell him to pay my
car fare right on the spot or I'll come
out there and see why he doesn't pay
''All right. ma'am.' said the conductor
The next time he appeared he nodded
encouregingly.
'It'n be all o. k" he said Il told him
what you said and he paid
BY ard by the woman left the car by
the front door AS she stood on the cor
ner waiting for line of trucks TO go
by, another car stopped and a man got
off. The woman looked at him with
bulging eyes.
You" she said. "You-and on this
ear? Why. I thought you came up IL
the same car I was in. >.
II did try to-" said the man, but the
| conductor rang the bell too soon and |
got left. l had TO take the next car
The woman's eyes bulged Stin more
I'd like to know" she said what
| that man thought that paid my car
| fare. New York Evening Post
The Washington times., 1905-07-16
A cHAUFFEUR'S TRICK.

There's all sorts of tricks In every
trade" said the chauffeur, who was in
q confidential mood but [ doubt il the
driver of an automobile can be beat for
deyising schemes to outwft the police
AS YOU well know, the devil carts are
compelled 20 carry and exhibit all sorts
o1 licenses. The city license is most i'm
portanS and the law requires that It
shall dangle in a conspicuous place on
the auto Frequently cfIauffeurs Violate
the speed limit, but manage TO hit the
asphalt at a lively gait and escape the
aIer. bicycle cop or whoever attempts
to pursue them TIC tell-taIe license is
there. however, and this is where the
iucklees chauffeur falls INTO the clutches
of the law. The knowing drivers. how
ever, have hxed up q new game which
permits them TO whiz along at any old
gait they see fit, and escape the conse-
quences. The trick is a simple one. Be
lore starting out they carefully treat the
license, which is made of heavy block
tin, TO a generous coat Of machine oil.
AS they speed along the highway the
dust quickly accumulates on the tin.
and very effectively obscures the num-
ber- This IS where the poor old bicycle
cop loses. He looks for the number in
vain. When 1t comes TO cunning little
tricks the boys on the gasoline buggies
are right there with the goods. .'-Phila-
delpflia Record
The Washington times., 1905-07-16
A NATURAL MISTAKE.

Governor McLane, of New Hampshire.
was talking about Henry James criti-
cism of American speech.
suppose that Mr.. james wants Us
to use the broad "a" he said. land to
talk In every way like Oxford graduates.
The bread "a is all very well and the
oxford graduate talks more musicalIy
no doubt. than the native of Point Rock.
At the Same time it was through the
cultivation Of this English way of
speaking that my best friend nearly lost
mis- Wife-1ost her, l mean. through d.
vorce. not through death
She had made one day some biscuits
and at dinner that night she said In her
cultivated way:
l made dig batch of these biscuits.
You did, indeed. dear. said my
friend. her husband
How DO you know how big a batch
l nnade?" she asked. surprised
4 thought he murmured. that YOU
said botch. "-Chicago Chrnnicle
The Washington times., 1905-07-16
WHY HE'S EATING OUT.

Hello! exclaimed Hashley. meeting
Bakerman in restaurant at 7:30 a. m =,
Il thought you We're going to cook your
own breakfasts while your wife was In
Europe. Come to think of It. you even
invited me up to see what you could do
In the way Of a bachelor dinner"
That's right. replied Bakerman,
gloomlly, but my plans have been up
set, for the present. d least | shall
have TO wait until my wife reaches the
other side, receives the letter ! wrote
to her last night. and can find time to
reply. You know what careful
methodtcal woman she is Well she
made ont list OF everything in the
mouse i Snonld require while she was
gone, told me where to find II. and put
the keys Of all the cupboards [ should
be likely 10 use on a separate ring"
" Ell asked itashley, after long
pa use.
Then She carefully locked the cup
hcards. packed the list and the keys in
her trunk, and carried them away Will
New York Press
The Washington times., 1905-07-16

c.. Victor A. Pyles: c.. Edward D.
Snoot; V c., j H. Gibson; recording
secretary. J. E. Smallwood tre-electedl; !;
assistant recording secretary, H. T.
Steele Te-elected) warden, James s.
c. F wilson: outside sentinel, F. NJ
Brothefton: chaplain. Charles Urnhan.
trustees. H. F. Steele, Frank F. Kress,
William NJ. Bobb: r. S c.. James S.
EspeE, William H Pyles Wendell A.
Cooper; alternates. Frank F Kessr
William c. Carter r J. J. Fow-
Ter: financial secretary, Edward D.
SchWenk: trea surer William H. PyieS
Remarks were made by all visiting
brothers. Great preparations are being
made for their excursion 10 Chesapeake.
Beach. july 20
The Washington times., 1905-07-16
BETSY ROSS CIRCLE
WILL GIVE LAWN FETE

Wednesday evening, July 10, Betsy
Ross Circle. No. 80. of The Washington
Times Division of the International
Sunshine Society, viii hold lawn fete
at the home of Mr.. and Mrs. Denham,
G. street. near Ninth street southeast.
All the members of the Sunshine So
ciety are earnestly requested to at
tend.
Tickets will not be distributed among
the different circles, but all those who
attend can obtain them at the entrance
Il, the grounds The price of admission
will be 10 cents, refreshments included.
There will be no trouble to find the
house, as a large white sign will be
hung on the outside fence.
All Sunshine members from far and
near are cordially invited 10 come and
set acquainted with each other and
it'll the editor of the Sunshine page.
The proceeds of the fete will go toward
ma king many little heart happy
The Washington times., 1905-07-16
WTH|ANS WILL
TRY FOR PRIZE
Washington Knights Plan
to Enter Contest.
HOPE TO CAPTURE PRIZE
capital City Contingent Determined to
Make Try for Drill Trophy
at New Orleans.

The knights of Pythias of Washing
ton are, year in advance, talking of
the biennial convention of the supreme
lodge and the encampment of the Uni
form Rank. which will be held at New
orieapsr La, the third week in Septem-
Der, 1905, beginning on Tuesday. The
large sum promised the rank for prizes
has STIRRED up an interest all over the
country, and the committee in charge at
New orleans predicts the largest attend
ance IN the history of the organization.
Two local companies of the Uniform
Ranks are planning to enter the prize
drllls al this meeting. Acting on
recommendation of the grand chanceI-
Tor and the grand lodge committee on
Uniform Rank. the Grand Lodge of the
Instruct of Columbia. at It's session in
ebruary last. made an appropriate
to- the fund to be used to send a team
to compete for a prize in the conpeti-
i've drill in the biennial encampment
at New Orleans. Washington Company.
NO l, and j. t. Coldwe1i Company. No
., are the two companies making ar
rangemehts to attend. They will add
10 the fund now started by excursions
entertainments and other eyeIfts. These
Two companies have made high percent
ages in competitive drills under local
jurisdiction. and will appear at New
orleans with confidence that the mother
domain of the order of Knights of
Pythias. which has never been repre-
sented In these encampment drills will
carry away 4 prize.
The armory Of the Uniform Rank
at the Pythian temple on the meet
ing nights Of these companies presents
busy scene. Washington Company
had an enthusiastic meeting on Wednes-
day night and Coldwell Company had
a similar meeting on Thursday night
tlnal arrangements We're completed
for the family outing of these two
organizations at River View on Wednes-
day, July 1e. Friendly contests will be
arranged between the two companies
one feature being a baseball game The
FUNDS derived from the sale of tickets
now being made by the two companies
will be added to the amount to be Sc
cured to carry the teams to New Or
leans. Members of the order of
knights of Pythias and friends will io,n
with the Uniform Rank in making this
event. as well as all others for the pur-
pose indicated, success
The question of sending drill team
to the biennial encampment from this
city. in which the order of knights
of Pythias was founded, is one that
appeals to the pride of every member
OF the order. and indications point to
the realization of the plans thus early
started.
The Washington times., 1905-07-16
MACCABEE OFFICERS
HAD A BUSY WEEK

State Commander d. W. Gall. of the
Maccabees, On last Monday night in
stalled the following officers of National
Tent, No i: Commander, p. II. Heffer-
man; lieutenant commander, a. B.
Keefer: chaplain. Joseph F. Moore; ser
geant, J. f. Wynkoop: master-at-arms.
John T. Moore; first master OF the
guard. A l.. Adler; second master of
the guard, E. NJ. Phelps; sentinel,
Henry Wolf; picket, s. Goldsmith. Af-
ter the officers were installed and the
State commander had explained the new
plan of operation and the fairness OF
the same, the tent accepted the pTopo-
sition. and ali Joined IN enjoying the
refreshments which had been supplied.
The attendance was large. and from in
dications the tent Is going to have an
other big boom.
On Tuesday night the same installing
officer performed like services for Met
rcpolitan Tent. No. u, where the fol-
lowing officers were installed: Com
mander. j. r. Conway: lieutenant com
| mander. I. 7. Warren; record keeper
anG finance keeper, Thomas l. Smith; ;
chaplain, Albert Lewis; sergeant, J. P
Cronan; physician. o DR.. B. II. Smart;
master r-atarms. c. d. Holland; first
master of the guard, s. w. Shewbrldge;
second master of the guard. S. J. Cock
rifle; sentinel, c. n. Brooks; picket. T.
O. White. Ice cream and cake were
also seEssd In abundance at this meet
ing where the State commander again
presented the new plan of operation,
which was accepted by the tent.
This is the youngest tent in the city,
but by no means the smallest, and 50
well has its business been conducted
that it never has had Il bankrupted
treasury. and today has a nice little
surplus in its treasury.
Brightwood Tent, No 5, has recently
conducted very successful lawn fete,
realizing over 500 net from it. That
tent is composed OF n hustIing set Of
boys, and they know no such word as
fail Sir knight J. C. Dudley was
chairman Of the committee that had this
matter IN charge.
The State commander visited an ad-
joined meeting OF Bright wood Tent, No
5. on Thursday night and at the next
regular review, next Tuesday night, he
expects TO install the officers OF the
tent The latter has appointed Il com
! mittee IN compliance with the State
comma nder's request. to look into the
matter of the suspensions In the teat.
and take such steps as may be wise
to preserve the membership.
on Friday of next week the Joint ex-
cursion of the Maccabees takes place
to Chesapeake Beach, which indicates
that il will be one OF immense pro
The Washington times., 1905-07-16
NEW MEMBERS TAKEN
INTO THE jR. O. u. A. M.

At a regular meeting of Anacostia
Council No. 16 Jr o. L. A M the
following officers were Installed by their
p g c.. Charles Magih of No. s. for
the ensuing term: c., c. w. Taylor: V.
G W J. Mitchell; C., A. J. Simpson /;
recording secretary. c. o. Bohner IRE
elected) assistant recording secretary.
J. ". Barse fre-elected): financial sec
lret.t,.y. James r. Frye; treasurer. K. A.
Eistcp fre-elected); ward, E. l.. Newton:
inside sentinel. c. E. Ford; chaplain. q
NJ. Clark; trustees. Fl. s. Stowe, E. A
Parker. j. W. Barse- Five new candi-
dates We're initiated In the council,
v hich COW has i62 on IFS roll.
At the regular mcefing of Mt. Vernon
Council dve candidates were initiated,
after which the following officers were
installed by z. S. {. Il. F. Steele. Jr. P.
The Washington times., 1905-07-16
AN OPTIMISTIC PHILOSOPHER.

Having a hard time to get along
this winter? asked an interested
nefghbor who came upon Mr. Gibbs
summing himself on the postofice steps
one cold day
why, no. said Peter, cheerfulIy,
I've got the promise of some wood
-sawing down to Mis- Rand's when I
get round to it. and my wife she's got
the promise Of some washing when her
rheumatioks are better. and my boy 5
most fifteen. and we expect he'll be
teaching iictrict school in two, three
wears and Aunt Mary has lust zTitten
Z l can wait another year before pay
ing her that siX-ffty I've been under
obligations for since she was Sere
I'm feeling pretty forehanded-"
The Washington times., 1905-07-16
NEW PLAYS
Continued from Second Page. }

trician; Claude Harding. operator; Leon
Rosebrook. musical director; P G. Nc
Lean. stage director; Teddie Mclean.
Eddie Weston. Al G F'iournoy. Ray
Raymond. Ed Bailey. Dick Flower,
Marjorie Mack Daisy Bishop. Mrs
Sam Shaw, and Kitty Walsh.
At Edgewood Park. In the Thousand
Islands beginning July %, a series OF
open air operatic performances viii be
given under the direction Of James w.
Morr:ssey. similar 10 those given in Sar-
atoga several years ago. scenes from
Carmen; Faust, 'Rigolet:o, Mar
presented. The singers viii include
many of the soloists heard at the Victor
Eertert concerts last winter, headed by
Nine. Lillian Guerlilia. former prima
donna at the Brussels Opera House. 1t
iss planned to repeat the performances ia
Newport. Saratoga, and Lake George.
Kane. Sll:pman & Colvin have signed
Roselle Knott for q transcontinental
tour unde- their management She will
oper the season with one of the New
York successes appearing later in a new
PLAY Contracts were closed recently be-
tween Charles B. Dillingham; and Kane
Shipruan e. Colvin, under the terms of
which the latte latter firm controls the sole
Flower for a period of two years.
o. F. Burlingame. manager of the
theater at Winona, Mimi. has been the
guest of Paul Gilmore at his home, Gil
crest. Woodcliff on Hudson, the past
week Mr. Burlingame left for visit
to Canada last week.
Mrs. E. L. Fernandez. Bijou Fernan-
dez, Katherine Dealey Beatrice Walsh,
and Louis Nethersole arrived on the St.
Louis July g. Mrs. Fernandez announces
the engagement of her daughter to w
l.. Abingdon. The marriage will occur
about Christmas.
Mr.. and Mrs. Daniel Frohman ta1arga-
ret lilingtoro sailed for New York July
8. Mr.. Frohman las secured seleraI rev
plays, which will be done al the Lyceum
in the course of the next season or so.
White Wmttlesey's first presenta tion
June 10, FOR his season at the Belasco
Theater in Los Angeles. was Paul NJ
Potter's Sheridan; or 1he Maid OF
Bath"
The cable announces that Mrs Patrick
Campbell and young II. B. Irving are to
join forces and tour England as co-stars.
This new combination viii prevent Mrs.
Campbells tou. Of America next season
but 1t is said to be settled that she and
Mr.. Irving will come to the United
States in the year following.
Augusta True is summering at her
home in McConnelsville, Ohio
Edna May returned July on the st.
Louis. She came from London, and
was accompanied by Jane May, her sis
ter She has been rehearsing in Lon
don in The Catch of the Season.,
which Charles Frohman is to put on
in September at Daly's Theater- On
Monday she left for her home in Al
toona, Pa, for "a visit with her mother.
She will then go into camp for a time.
The Washington times., 1905-07-16
RATHsKELLERcARo ON OHIO TRAIN

A novel addition to the coaveniences
found on many railway trains is the
''rathskeller ear" of the Pittsburg and
Lake Erie. for the three-hoL, run be
tween Pittsburg and Cleveland The
car has a combination of cafe and club
features and is lighted by electricity
generated by the revolutions of the
wheels. The decorations are those
found in the ordinary rathske3ler, and
the car Is handsomely finished Broad
windows give an unobstructed view of
the landscape. Tables, lounging chairs,
and pipe racks comprise the furniture
Railway World.
The Washington times., 1905-07-16
PEACE REGULATIONS.

She was a young lady of three. and
she had not been behaving at all as the
authorities considered that young ladies
hectic day, during which she had been
scolded by the whole strength of the
Company. she went to ted and said the
following prayer She was not annoyed
at all, merely anxious to end the un-
pleasantness: Please make me good
And please make me good quick. for
goodness ake-'-London Globe.
The Washington times., 1905-07-16
D. w. GALL,
State Commander for the District of
Columbia, in Which Order
He Is Active.
D. w. GALL,

portions. Sir Knight ] c. Bass. of
Mount Vernon Tent, No. T. is chairna n
Of the joint committee. and he is a
hustler.
Brightwood Tent now meets at Schultz
land Park Hall, near Marshall street
This part of the Nations Capital needs
a good building for public meetings, and
here is a fine opening for some one to
invest surplus money to good advant-
age
The Washington times., 1905-07-16
BITTER SWEET.

They cal il sweet sixteen " sighed
the girl, and yet this is the bitterest
hour of my life.
III is the day for me to take my diplo-
ma. she confessed. and my gradua ton
dress doesn't Lit. Detroit Free Press.
The Washington times., 1905-07-16

trician; Claude Harding. operator; Leon
Rosebrook. musical director; P e. Nc
Lean. stage director; Teddie Mclean.
Eddie Weston Al G F'fournoy. Ray
Raymond. Ed Bailey. Dick Flower,
Marjorie Mack. Daisy Bishop, Mrs
Sam Shaw, and Kitty Walsh.
The Washington times., 1905-07-16

o. F. Burlingame. manager of the
theater at Winona, MINI. has been the
guest of Paul Gilmore at his home, Gil
crest. Woodcliff -on- Hudson, the past
week Mr. Burlingame left for 4 visit
to Canada last week
The Washington times., 1905-07-16

Augusta True is summerfng at her
home in McConnelsville, Ohio.
The Washington times., 1905-07-16

The cable announces that Mrs. Patrick
Campbell and young H. B. Irving are to
join forces and tour England as co-stars.
This new combination viii prevent Mrs.
Campbells g .=9f America next season
but 1t is said to be settled that she and
Mr.. Irving will come to the United
States in the year following
The Washington times., 1905-07-16

Mrs. E. l.. Fernandez. Biiou Fernan-
dez, katherine Dealey. Beatrice Walsh,
and Louis Nethersoe arrived ON the ST.
Louis July s. Mrs Fernandez announces
the engag cement of her daughter to w
l.. Abingdon. The marriage will occur
about Christmas.
Rogue River courier. (Grants Pass, Or.) 1886-1927, 1905-07-21
CURE FOR HAY FEVER
Rotermund Says Hyomei Will
Give Relief = Sold Under
Guara antee.

The season for hay fever is almos
at hand, and many people feel that
they will be obliged to go away in
order to avoid the sneezing. watery
eyes, and other annoying symptoms OF
this disagreeable summer disease.
Rotermund wishes us to announce
that when Hyomei is used as a pre-
ventative, or a cure, there wall be no
hay fever. He advises daily treat
ment with Hyomei for two or three
weeks before the usual time for the
annual appearance of hay fever. II
this is done, the attack will be pre-
vented. However, if the the proven
tative treatment is not started soon
enough, and the disease makes its ap-
pearance, use Hyomei six or seven
times daily, and relief will be given
at once.
There is no stomach dosing when
Hyomei is used. Breathed through
the neat pocket inhaler that comes
with every outfit, its medicated air
reaches the miuutest air cells, killing
all germs and soothing and healing
the irritated mucous membrane
The complete Hyomei outfit costs
but 81, extra bottles 90 cents 1t il
the only treatment for hay fever sold
by Rotermund under a guarantee tC
refund the money if it does not give
satisfaction.
Rogue River courier. (Grants Pass, Or.) 1886-1927, 1905-07-21
Lewis and Clark Exposition,

During the Lewis and Clark Expo.
sition the Southern Pacific Company
will sell round trip tickets to Port.
land, limit 80 days, at one and one.
third fare for the round trip. Fol-
parties OF ten or more travelling on
one ticket, one fare for the round
trip. For organized parties of 100 OF
more, individual tickets, at one fare
for the round trip
Stop-over of 10 days will be given
at Portland on all one way tickets
reading through that point during
the exposition. Tickets must be de.
posted with Joint Agent Mt Portland
and charge of 90 cents will be made
for extension of time.