davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-07-22
SNEEZER AND THE PINCH BUG.

tfDear, dear, what hard task it is to be good
dog, thought Sneezer he lay with his head between
his paws in the yard that used for baby chickens
during Here the day has only just begun
and I've been in disgrace three times already.
tfI never thought it would harm that old shoe to
sharpen my teeth he continued, blinking his brown
eyes at the sum- 'Fbut they said it Baby Nes best
and that was very naughty dog. And why did
Mrs. Fox leave her hat chair where could get it,
didn pull pieces but it jolly fun to
toss around the floor And how to know that
the old workbaske would tumbling about my
if jumped at that red ribbon hanging the sides
Oh, DEAR suppose they will keep here in the little
yard until dinner with nothing but these stupid flies
to play with.''
Sneezer lay thinking of his hard fate for several
tsHello what's that9' said, starting up and look
ing at queer object that waddling out of the
grass It was big brown Rinching bug sneezer was
happy nowhere was something to play with
he put one paw out cautiously to pat tho bug, but
it turned to side s- --- H. =.
s'Oh come on and play" said sneezer, with little
whine cts dreadfully lonesome here, and I'm
can't get into more trouble playing with you"
Mr. Bug, however, had important business on hand
Just then and at all inclined to stop to play
he moved off in another direction.
sneezer thought part of the game, he barked
notice Of him.
tYou re queer sort Of creature not want to play
this bright morning said sneezer putting his little
wet very close to Mr.. Bugs big pinchers. This
interference with business not to be stood, Mr.
Bug fastened his pinchers into Sneezer's
'Yp, yip, said Sneezer, shaking the bug loose and
running the other side of the yard Youre the most
impolite creature saw
Just back of the chicken yard was the garden.
When Sneezer reached the garden fence he Immediately
forgot about the disgacefu conduct of the pnchin bug
faint cluck cluck from the other side and
ing thru the fence Sneezer one, two three four,
half dozen hens, very busy scratching up Mrs. Fox's
flower beds.
sneezer didn't stop to reason that the chickens
business in the garden that they like himself in
mischief that morning Here, at last some play
mates that would and flap their wings if he could
only get to them. What jolly fun it would be to
md down the garden after the hensi
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-07-22
I1dIIllANlZtHS>I& DIARY@a
>ME ~ * z1jAllK Dn
T~;kQGHfChEN'S4fa@t

First Day.
I'm in shell. MT know how got in, but
think II pick my way out
Second Day.
I'm out. picked I don't how that shell held
me. was too big for it.
Third Day.
have mother. She is named hen. thought a
first it Feathers but it turned out 10 be mothe
Wash that queeri
Fourth Day.
This is the greatest day Of my life. found worm
found it all by myself. Mother cucked and told
when to look, but did my scratching.
Fifth Day.
It is fine to get up high and the world got q
mothers back, and could everything. suppeO
there not many chickens smart az am
Sixth Day.
I don't like that giant named little Girl - tn
brings NEAL the meal is very mics, but big g.e
Ike that is in the way. She takes up too much room
Seventh Day.
want to leave mother and 60 out into the world
szd b big hen. know than she does now tAaa
b IN the daytme but when night mother s1yu
tCueki Clneki - feel just tho would like better d
b under her warm wing. PeeP Peepl
The Youth 8 Companioa
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-07-22
A CATLAND LAW.

CATLAND LAW.
Pussy caught mouse for dinner;
But the Mouse was wise and old:
'tWait bit! - spake he unto her.
Have you never yet been told
That there is law in Mouse1and
That pronounces it disgrace
20 begin to eat your dinner
! Ere you go and wash your facef''
Pussy felt ashamed ga Cat should
Do as wells Mousie can"
Loosed her claws-and in jify
Of the wise Mouse lightly rad
Very vexed the Pussy scolded:
etMouseIand laws would work disgraesi
This shall be the law in Catland-
After eating wash your facet
!. - Little Folks.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-07-22
THE Loss

It was q beautiful bal
looa
Went sailing On n
afternoon,
High, high, hight
And Tommy wished 4
back again,
But stretched his ha16
for It in vain.
Myl myi w1
At first he puckered y
his faea,
And thought for just .
little space
He'd cry, cry, up
But then no bravely
laughed instead.
NOW can't you reaeA
the mooni'' he sail
.tTry! try. tryl"
Hannah q. Fernald 4
Tho Sunbeam
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08

stst you n every possible way. II you
are going to pose as a living picture Of
Napoleon you had better do II In q to-
eH. i win give your figure more grace.
] see no reason why you shouldn't
make great hit"
That's the way to tan. That's more
sense than I've beard you utter in .
month Of Sundays When you encour-
age me that way I'm bound to succeed.
Do you think / look like Napoleon In
the faceT
VERY much 20. That's one reason l
married you."
But am too fat In the body and
hWT
mot at all. Napoleon grewvery fat
after q time, you know. should say
you were Just about right. DID you
bring home toga to practice wfthT
"N-n-o-that is, / did; but thinking
you would make fun Of me, left It out
in the vestibule. I'll bring 1t In, and
you can do the draping while / pose.
By John, but you are a good wife to
help noe in this thing! ] thought you'd
begin to make fun Of me right from the
start"
Mrs. Bowser's conscience gave her q
hard twinge, but she had made up her
mind not to oppose Mr.. Bowser In any
thing be did that evening. When be
returned with the toga, which be bad
hired Of q theatrical costumer, be re-
moved coat and vest, and Mrs. Bow
ssr proceeded to dTape. When be was
ready be was positioned In the parlor
and the portisres arranged 30 as to
show only his face and one shoulder,
and Mrs. Bowser kept him thus for
ave long minutes. When bis knees be-
gan to wabble under the strain she
said:
You may move up and down the
parlor now, but don't let your shoul-
derS drop down or your back hump up;
also keep that stern look on your face,
Rs II you were at the battle Of Water
loo. The cat Is following you, bot don't
mind him"
Napoleon Bonaparte Bowser paraded
up and down with his heart IN bis
mouth, and when he had reached the
back pGrlor doors for the fifth time
Mrs. Bowser clapped her bands and ex-
claimed:
Admirable! Admlrablel One would
think Napoleon had returned to life.
You will certainly make the bit sf the
evening, and we shall see your name
b al the papers tomorrow."---.-
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08

w THEN dinner had been con
NM eiuded the other evening
" " Mr.. Bowser made breal
for the library and disap
peared for the next quarter Of an hour
When he reappeared he had volume
sf encyclopedia in his hand and said:
Il have been trying to nnd out some
thing about Napoleon. but l can't get
Just what ! want"
And what particular thing did you
wantY' ash>.d Mrs. Bowser.
II want to know how be used &c
dress"
why, In war be wore uniform, oi
course, and in peace be wore swai
low tailed coat most Of the time. lie
wasn't much on dress. you know"
Didn't he wear 9 toga or CLOAK
scmetimesY'
~Yes, / think I have seen him pic.
tured In both. Why do you ask the
suestionsr'
y suppose you win set In and call me
an old fool, a. you always do but the
fact 10 the B. and T. club are going to
gfve an entertainment soon, and they
wanted me 10 pose for few figures"
And what 10 the b. and 7. clubf"
/ The Bowling and theatrical club"
't0h, / Gee. ! didn't know but that
II was the Beef and Trtpe club"
that's if-go ahead with your sar'
easmv7 exclaimed Mr.. Bowser a. bis
face began to redden up.
" have no sarcasm TO utter. Mr..
Bowser. On the contrary. / think 1t q
good idea and viii encourage and as-
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08

Fouryear-old Alice had been TO visit
very aged lady whose face was badly
wrinkled. On returning home she
climbed Into her aunt's lap and. look
Ing at her intently, Queried;
What makes Grandma Barker's face
all wrinkled?"
Because she Is very old. dearie,
was the reply.
"Will your nice. smoove face be like
hers when you get TO be old, auntie r
asked the child soberly.
Yes, darling" said the aunt. sigh
ing In anticipation Of her lost charms
"Oh, well, auntIe, don't feel bad~ ex.
claimed the child. Maybe you'll die
pity quick!"-New York Press.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08
The Inevitable Result.

isn't be drinking a good deal late
Tyr
''Yes. He says he's had a lot of trou-
bic, and he's drowning it."
well, he'll have lot more 10
drown. New York Press.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08

bunker When Is your wife going to
axe up gulfi
Bunker-As soon as she runs across q
sale Of clubs.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08
Summer Smiles by a
Sleepy Hollow Jester

"H1D the ring confessf" asked the
- ''oh, yes" replied the stud.
1t Acknowledged its gilt"
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08
TrutA Comes OuS.

TPath Comes 0uG.
Mamma-of course you said, "0h
this is 20 sudden" when Tom finally
proposed.
Daughter-No. / fully intended TO-
but was so excited ! forgot and ex.
claimed, AT lastp'-Chicago News.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08
MILK DEALERS.

IF YOU VALUE YOUR HEALTH
You will demand PURE MILK, Fresh
From Healthy Cows.
1t is our aim to supply the need. Our
us, while newcomers are recommended
regular patrons continue 10 deal with
TO our milk depot by knowing friends.
Morning or night delivery.
THE sLooP.JEFFERs CO., 10th and
Duane streets.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08
CALL FOR slps

SEALED PROPOSALS WILL BE RE-
ceived at the Astoria National Bank,
until July Is, at . ?, NJ, for the con.
struction, mason work, painting, plumb
ing and electr,s wiring for addition TO
the First NJ. +. church, Astoria, Oregon,
Information at Office Of Ferguson and
Houston. Architects.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08

WAITRESS WANTED APPLY AT
Cole house.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08

There were few wise men In oldeu
time, but that was before we had col
kge graduates.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08
BOWSER AS POSER
Mrs. B. Oblisinsly Drapes His
Togo,
TRIED TO HIDE HIS MIRTH

Neighhors Come in However, and Catch
Him. Sad to Relate God Of War is
Once More Turned Loose. H Quad
Talks Some More.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08
uNrURNIsHED OFFICE ROOMS.

FOR RENT-THREE OFFICE ROOMS
en- suite, one front. Pythian Build
ing. Apply at DR.. vaughn's Office in
Building.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08
WAS GIVEN up TO DIE,

B. Spiegel, 1904 N. Virginia ST.,
Evansville, Ind, writes: "FoT over Ave
years ] was troubled with kidney and
bladder affections which caused me much
pain and worry. ] lost flesh and was all
run down, and a year ago had to
abandon work entirely. had three oi
the best physicians who did me no good
and was practically given up to die.
Foley's Kidney Cure was recommended
and the first bottle gave me great relief,
and after taking the second bottle ] wAs
entirely cured"
TWO SIZES, SOC AID 1i0o.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08

She-Why do they talk 30 much
about the kitchen troubles OF brides /?
Most Of them don't ever attempt TO
cook.
He-0h, yes, they do, In one way or
another! They all have TO do q cool
deal Of roasting and stswins.. '--i.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08
OFFICE C0NSTRuCrINa QuARrER

OFFICE CONSTRUCTING QUARTER,
master, Astoria, ore,D July 8, 1905
Sealed proposals 10 triplicate, will b.
received at this Office until 10 o'clock, A.
NJ, July 20, 1905, and then opened, for
electric light ilxturcs. aud installing ex.
terror and interior lighting aystems at
Fort Stevens, Ore Uuited States re-
serves the right To reject any or all
proposals. Plans can bc secn and spec
ihcations obtained At thia office, In
formation furnished on application, En-
velopcs should be marked, Proposals
for electric work." and addressed Cap.
tain Goodalc, Quartcrmasten Astoria,
Oregon.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08

Sorry l cant stay with you." sale
the lamp TO the lovers. ''but I've W, I,
20 out"
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08
QUICK RETURN COLUMNS.
Situations Wanted Advertisements Inserted
Twice Without Charge
HELP WANTED.

WANTED-GlRL FOR H0uSEW ORR.
Mrs. X. Osborn. TG0 Irving Avenue,
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08
nss circle Decreasing.

Hss Circle Decreastma.
why 90 glum, Rlumbyi Anything
gone wrongT'
Yes I've just lost two Of my best
friends"
by death or marriager'
"Seither. I loaned them money
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08

well, l caught you at last" said th,
gutter TO the rain.
II thought you would run me down,
said the rain.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08

MANIFESTATIONS OR WORK
wanted at washing, ironing or house.
cleaning, Address, Gal Kensington av,
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08

Many an intoxicated man 10 held ~
by his friends.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08

Wyld-Your wife 10 born leader.
Enpec.
Enpec-S She certainly has a fne com.
mand Of language, Tarrytown IN, y
Nswa
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08
CALL FOR BIDS.


SEALED PROPOSALS WILL BE RE.
ceived at the Office OF the Light House
Engineer, Portland, Ore, until 2 o'clock
P. NJ, July 27, 1905, and then opened,
for furnishing miscellaneous articles for
the Light House Establishment, for the
fiscal year ending June 80, 1906; com.
prising Hardware; Pipe, fittings, etc.
Paints, oils, ETC.; Soap, matches, etc;
Lubrieating oils, etc; and Lumber, in
accordance with specifications, copies Of
which, with blank proposals and other
information, may be had upon appli-
cation to Major w. c. Langftt, Corps
of Engineers, U. s. A., Engineers.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08
RESTAURANTS.
BEST 10 CENT MEAL.

You can always find the best
l5-cent meal in the city at the
Rising Sun Restaurant
612 Commercial ST.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08
HOUSES WANTED.

HOUSE OF 9 OR 9 ROOMS WANT
ed in good reighborhood. Convent
ent to center OF town: rent reasonable;
permanent. Address Emil Held. caSs
The Astorian.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-07-08

wANTED-A HousEkEEPER BY A
man and boy. State wages wanted.
References exchanged Address, House
keeper" care of the Astorian.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1905-01-23
LOCAL BREVITIES.

Yesterday was a quiet Sunday. The
weather during the morning WAS fair and
mild, but in the afternoon the wind
blew cold from the northwest, and the
heavens became threatening.
Mr.. A. J. Devers lost between SSS
and $40 while in a house on Cameron
street last night. The police were mott
fed this morning by the proprietor OF the
house and every exertion made 10 recover
the money, but so far all efforts in that
direction have proven futile.
At the Alexandra county courthouse
Saturday the appraisers recently appoint
ed by Judge Nicol to report the damages
to the property ofMissss Sarah and Mary
Swami, due to the construction OF the
new railway tracks, decided that 80, Doc
would be a just amount if the railway
company provides an outlet to the prop
erty, otherwise that tie company must
paw the sum of So, 900. The matter will
now 90 to the Circuit Court again, where
it will lie for sixty days before final set
Element.
Mr.. George w. Stesrns sent to this Office
today box of fried oysters. which were justly
pronounced TO be among the best prepared in
this city. The bivalves were Of superior
quality and the cooking could not be i'm,
proved upon Alexandria has ever enjoyed
the reputation of producing the best fried
or sters. Mr.. Stearns is located on st. Asaph
street between King and Prince.
The Alexandria Business College. None
better, none so economical. Commence now.
Day and night sessions.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1905-01-23
Msnaud w man Asphyxiated.

George Neville and Vivian Vaun
were found dead in a roon OF the house
1852 Ohio ave., Washington, yesterday.
The two gas jets in the room were turned
on. but other indications were strong
enough to influence Coroner hewitt to
issue certificates of accidental death in
both cases. Neville's parents live in
Washington. but nothing is known OF
the history of the woman, except during
the past two years. Neville and the
Vaun woman were both married, and
NeyiIe's wife lives but few doors from
where her husband WIS found dead, and
is known as Ida Wood. Neville was "a
years old. About two years ago Vivian
Vaun, it is said, married a man named
Powers. In connection with this cere.
mony she gave the name of Violet
Bentley, and it is believed that was her
real name. She was about twenty-three
years old, and had been living south
of Pennsylvania Avenue about two
years. Whence she came no one is able
to say. One report was that she had
relatives in Alexandria, and another was
that her home was in Connecticut.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1905-01-23
Wife divorced al Deathbed.

Samuel Sobel, a merchantin the New
ark ghetto and an orthodox Jew, has
been at the point of death for weeks.
Friday he called the rabbls to his house,
ia Jones street, and had his wife d.
yorced from him under the Jewish law,
in order that she might not be under the
obligation imposed by the orthodox Jaw
of marrying his brother after her hus-
bands death.
Sobel and his wife have lived together
happily. In fact, only husbands whose
love for their wives is strong ever resort
to this peculiar anti-mortem divorce.
1t isa very unusual thing, but not I'M
heard of. Rabbi b. Hailperin, leader
of the Newark ghetto, has granted it
once to the wife of cOnsumptive, aud 1t
is occasionally heard OF in the East Side
of New York.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1905-01-23
Virginia News.

William G. Kelley, aged 80. one Of
the best known business men OF Char
lottesvile died yesterday Ofconsumption.
Mr.. A. NJ. Simpson, the oldest citizen
in Stanton, and probably the Oldest
Odd Fellow in the United States, is criti-
cally ill. He is ninety-fve wears old.
Mrs. Margaret Richard. aged eighty
five. widow of Henry p Richard, Of
Frederick county, died at her home near
Hay6eld Friday night, after lingering
illness. due to the intirmities of old age.
Mrs. Elizabeth Cook, widow of Gile
Cook, a prominent lawyer, we'll known
throughout the Valley died at her home
in Front Royal, yesterday aged 80 years.
Death was due to the infrmities of old
age. She vas the Oldest native born
person in the county.
A telegram from Linares, Mexico, an
nounces the sudden death of Rev. A. L.
Graybill. who has been missionary OF
the Southern Presbyterian Church in
Mexico for thirty years. He was sixty
three years of age. His aged father, M.
Graybill, resides in Botetourt county.
Senator Martin has accepted the invi-
tation to respond to the toast of "Vir-
ginia" at the banquet next month in
celebration of the birthday of Charles
Broadway Rouss by the Charley Rouss
Fire Company of Winchester. Congress
man II. D. Flood will also respond to a
toast.
The u. s. Court of Claims Saturday
forwarded to the Speaker of the House
the findings in the claim of Elijah +.
Myers, of Leesburg, against the United
States government for damages sustained
by him during the civil war. The orig.
inal claim was $2,9lS, and the award
81, 1870.
Joseph B. Reid, of Brsntsville, died
at Providence Hospital, Washington
on Friday evening, aged seventy-on'
years. Mr.. Reid was Confederate
veteran. having served in Company
H. Fifteenth Virginia Cavalry, through
out the civil war. He represent
ed Prince William county IN thu
legislature in 1888, and had Ions
, been in the hotel business. After brief
s.ryices at the residence of his son
Henry w. Reid, in Washington Sunday
the remains we're taken to Manassas 10
thu funeral and interment.
Because ten-gallon can OF gasolln
was in a burning warehouse at th
Miller Supply Company's big establish
ment in Winchester Saturday, not on
member of the fire department woui,
approach the place, and not until WI
| liam Heating aud Robert Smith, two Q
the company's employees, rushed Int
the house and dragged the hot can to
rlace of safety, we're the hrsnen wlilin
to risk fighting the flames. Keatlng an al.
smith were burned about the lace. Id
fire was extinguished before II reacne
the main building, and the iOS'
, covered nv insurance.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1905-01-23

Some excitement was caused on q
south bound electric train Saturday
night by the conduct of colored indi-
vidusl named John Washington who,
Conductor Travers alleged, refused to
give up his ticket Washington said he
gave the conductor his ticket while the
train was on the Long Bridge, and upon
being asked for it near Arlington juno
ten got into an angry colloquy with the
train crew. A conflict ensued, during
which window vas broken aud the
darkey's head cut by blackjack in the
hands of Conductor Travers. Washing
ton was finally subdued and placed un.
der arrest. This morning he was fined
SIS 10 the Police Court. Mr.. l.. Il.
Machen appeared as his counsel.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1905-01-23
Reviyals.

The protracted meetings commenced
10 the Second Presbyterian Church last
Wednesday night will be continued this
week
A series of revival meetings are no"
in progress at the Free Methodist
Church, south Lee street. There VIII
be services each night during the week
- hich will be continued for an indefinite
period.
The revival meetings which have
been ia progress 10 the NJ. +. Church
South closed last night. Sixteen new
members we're added to the church yes
terday. and it is believed this number
will be augmented.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1905-01-23
Suspected of Gambling.

It was the purpose of thepolice Satur-
day night 10 raid an upper story OF q
certain King street building, it being al
legged that an interesting game OF poker
was in progress in the place. The front
door. however, was locked, and when an
alarm was sounded cards, chips, etc,
disappeared and it is suggested bibles
aud prayer books were produced. Last
night the door was open and the upper
story brilliantly lighted, and it is sup
posed that had the officers entered they
would have found nothing to indicate
that games Of chance were in progress.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1905-01-23
Charges Against Justices.

Two justices of the peace Zone wh n.
and one colored) will, it is said, be ar
raigued ia Alexandra county III a ,e"
DAYS on a charge of diSorderly conduct g:
and assault 10 public house. 1t !,
said they were in saloon wnen 'noi
conduct called forth a protest nom ~
Islander. The latter was assaui'eu W
the conserystors of tie peace, and a9rius Z
the melee the stove was overturned Auu
the hnildinr set ON fire.