davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-01-28
pRoCRAsTrNATIoN.


took an oath some years ago that would save
my money,
But wasn't very anxious to begin.
vowed i cut out all the pranks used to think
But / wasn't very anxious to begin.
swore that l would marry, settle down and be
That / @ would put my folIies meath most deter
mined ban.
I had It figured to a Tit was righteous plan
But wasn't very anxious to begin.
A maiden at the altar swore to "honor and
obey
But she wasn't very anxious to begin.
She said she'd let her hubby always have his own
dear way,
But she wasn't very anxious to begin.
She tsld him economy would be her guiding star,
That she would make his dollars all 80 reason
That she would never coax him for costly auto
car,
But she wasn't very anxious to begin.
Now all OF us make brave resolves and make
them DER and DER,
But we aren't very anxious to begin
We swear to check the foibles that the clergy
men deplore,
But we aren't very anxious to begin.
We VOW with much impressiveness to curb each
naughty trick,
And tell our fellow-mortals that of wrong we're
growing sick
Oh, what a heaven this would be If we could
make it stick
But Ne aren't very anxious TO begin.
IT{lffI11 n K{FE
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-01-28
AHusBAND's DEFICTENCrEs.

You are aware no woman can make
good for her husbands deficiencies.
The best wife in the world cannot do
it.
There'are many things, though, that
the wife of man of average ability
can do for him which will make her
price above rubies and go long way
toward accomplishing his success in
life.
One of these things isto keep alive
his faith in himself. There comes
time in every mans career when his
fate rests in his wife's hands. 1t is
when the battle goes againts him and
he is tempted to give up in despair.
Then if his wife reminds him that
luck always has been against him.
that the world is leagued together to
defeat him, that she told him he would
fail, and she knows he never can sue
ceed, that mans doom is sealed.
On the other hand, if she goes
aheadhopefully ,alwaysbeckoning him
on, telling him she knows he can over
come all obstacles, steadyily showing
her faith in him. and refusing to give
it up, she will inspire him with the
courage and determination which will
eventually win success.
Another way in which she can help
him is by taking an interest in his
business. Whether he sells salt her
ring or writes sonnets, she ought to
make him feel it pleasure to talk to
her about what he has been doing.
She may know all about his occu-
patton, but if she is sensibly interest
ed her intuitions will be flashes of ge-
MUS by which any man might profit.
A mans business is closer to his
heart than anything else, and it IS a
foolish woman indeed who does not
see the benefits both may derive from
comradeship on that score.
Then woman may be of invalua-
BILE assistance to her husband by max
ing friends for him, or she can do him
incalculable harm by making enemies.
She can sel6shly tie him to her apron
strings, or she can urge him out among
people who can help him.
Above all other ways she can pros
per his career by keeping home COM
Portable for him. It lis strange how
many women fail to realize that a
home is the power-house in which the
wage-earners of the family should
gather energy to fight and win the
battle of life.
Every freside ought to be haven
of peace, where jaded nerves may be
soothed and restored. If the woman
who is happily married choose to ex-
haust her husbands strength on fool
ish household tasks, slay him with
bad cooking, and otherwise give him
a hit-or-miss home life, sheis deliberss
ately pulling him down into obscur-
ity.
If she builds him up with proper
foods, sends him out cheered and rest
ed and restored, with faith in himself
and in her, she is pushing him straight
on to success.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-01-28
FRIENDSHIP.



There is, indeed, no more misused
word than that of friend. Its mean
ing IS so perverted we hardly realize
it any more. We accept the counter
feit and mourn its unstable qualities.
Brass has its value and uses; it is
only in the accepting of it as gold that
one Is cheated; only in the expecting
of something in return equivalent to
the worth of gold that one is disap-
pointed.
If you have done that which is un-
worthy the confidence I placed in you,
should no. blame you. Rather
should / seek to discern my motive
in choosing you for my friend. I am
to blame. was not your friend.
Did expect and demand that you
live up to your highest ideall Did,
encourage your virtues and believe
you capable of living up to them !
Did my attitude toward your weak
ness inspire you to overcome it? If
not, then was wholly to blame for
your unworthy act. l called down
unfaithfulness upon my head. ! de-
served it and forgive you.
This is what every honest man and
woman should say instead of prating
about broken friendships. If I hand
out brass for something worth gold,
is the other man to be censured for
giving me the equivalent of brass ?
He is no cheat. am the cheat for I
made the first move in the transac-
ton.
Ahiliation of tastes is not friend
ship. Neither is vain familiarity.
No one who is party to wrongdoing
is our friend. A friend, a real friend,
helps us in our mental and spiritual
progress. If / do that which is not
right, let me hide it from my friend
as would from my mother. Make
me worthy my friends ideals as I
would be worthy my mothers teach
ings.
The worst libel we put upon friend
ship is when we use its seal to bind
us to those who sanction our faults
and applaud our sins. The worst
sin we can commit is to allow any one
do this-we are doing such an one a
grievous wrong, as great a wrong as
we do our own soul.
Come over on firm ground, those
who would call me Friend. If I at
one time travelled with you on the un-
certain path of mere acquaintanceship,
let US forget it and enter into the
purer state of friendship, richer by
our previous experience. I should
not have accepted anything but gold
from you in the first place, then you
could not have given me brass. You
gave me what I took, willingly. I
should not murmur. / gave you its
full worth in return. For this you
should not censure me. You can
help me. you who have done me
harm. can help you, you whom /
have disappointed we have only to
understand the full, beautiful mean
ing Of Friendship.
Is it all right. dear2
The good in you and the good in me.
They cry to be brought together;
They would break the chains like rushing sea,
They would claim to the world victory,
If only we give them the strength.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-01-28

Her lips wore a smile happier than
that of the shepherdess, and her eyes
were deep, like pools Of quiet water.
She held her flowers lovingly and
looked eagerly among the bowls, seek
ing something, touched the rosebud
bowl for a moment, and then the lit
tie brown bowl fairly trembled with
Joy, for Clarita was looking straight
at her, and crying out: 20, here is
the dearest little brown bowl, mamma,
just right for my flowers 1t is so
deep and SO strong, and too heavy to
upset. Why didn't I ever find you be-
fore, little brown bowl ! You shall
hold flowers for me all summer l'
Long days afterward the little brown
bowl filled, as she always was now
with flowers, found herself on Clarita's
breakfast table, close to the shepherd
ess bowl.
"Dear shepherdess bowl, " she whis-
pered, II love you because you were
kind to me when needed you.'
And the shepherdess bowl whis-
pered back softly: IT told you it
was better to be able to hold beauti-
full things than to be beautiful out
side"
And the shepherdess smiled more
brightly than ever before. THE
Ckuyrznz1u.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-01-28
MEN CALL HER BIEssED.

Blessed is the man whose wife is
not on animated question mark
Edith Wharton has somewhere spok-
en- of a woman who "excelled in the
rare artof taking things for granted"
That means, when home tired and
worn and cross she did not deluge
him with stupid questions, but pre-
served discreet silence. Very few
women have the art, says the Pitts
burg Press. Most of us ask a multi
tude Of unnecessary questions.
Are you tired, dear ~ when eyes
that are not blind must see that he is
''dead beat" "Was it warm day
in town." when the thermometer has
been o5 out in the country. "Can /
do anything for you 1'' when all the
poor man asks is to be left in peace.
How much more that man will ap-
preciate his wife fshe, observing that
he is both tired and worn from the
days hard strain in town, just quietly
sends the children off to play out of
his hearing gets him his slippers and
cool drink, and lets him alone for a
while. He will love her for taking
obvious things for granted and not
worrying him with superhuous ques-
tions.
It is wise woman who never prods
her men folks with unnecessary ques-
tions, nor with inquiries of any sort
when they are in need of rest for mind
and body.
It pray be important to know what
color John wants the blinds painted,
and whether he is going to cut the
grass after supper, aud what time he
will be home tomorrow night, and
whether he would like you best in a
brown or blue dress, and if he will do
some shopping for you tomorrow, and
whether he has heard what new
changes are to be made in the time
table. 1t may be necessary to ascertaiA-
his views on these and hundred
other subjects.
But do not ask him before supper
nor during supper; nor after supper
until he has had a good rest and
good smoke, and feels like talking.
And don't ever, if you wish to pre-
serve his love and respect, fire at him
fusilade of senseless, useless ques-
tions, whose answers you know just
as well as he does.
''What shall talk of then % asksa
nice little wife, who doesn't get cross
at these accusations.
All, dear little woman, there's one
root of the trouble. You've made
such habit of firing questions that
you hardly know how else to con-
verse. You've been asking questions
just for the sake Of saying something,
and not for the sake of the answers.
Possibly that's why it irritates him.
Try different tack. Just smile
sympathetically and keep quiet when
he is tired. Then, when you do talk
tell him a nice piece of news, and
make one or two bright, cheerful COM
ments that don't need any answer.
Don't talk much. By and by he will
be answering questions you didn't
ask.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-01-28

You're uncle's girl, sure enough
Bess, =" Mrs. Otis would say, aftei
that for there came peaches from the
old mans garden, big and golden
strawberries, scarlet and melting
sweet crimson cherries, and pale
spice sweetings-and they were al
ways "for Bess.
cts just as well" " Mrs. Otis would
say to herself. Perhaps he'll do
something for her by-and-by."
Bess met Eustance St. Elmo's eyes
a little proudly at the first party where
they met; but he came to her side
with a winning grace, and begged to
dance with her SO many times during
the evening that lookers-on said, 1T
will be match"
1t was certainly for some reason of
this kind that the winter passed very
pleasantly to Bess, as we'll as the
summer.
When spring broke, there came
sudden news of Uncle John. His
death had suddenly occurred, and the
lawyers letter said: He has left a
legacy to his favorite niece, Miss Bess.
She had better come down here. +"
So the family made flying, ex-
cited trip into the country-only Bess
was crying.
When they reached Wheatlands,
which had been opened for their re-
ception, they found the bequest
awaiting Bess.
What do you think it was? The
antiquated carriage and ancient coat.
Shameful p cried the girls.
"The old miser p exclaimed Mrs.
Otis. He has taken all his money
with him"
The lawyer, who was friend of
Uncle Johns, stood by.
'I would advise Miss Bess to ex-
anime her articles Of property care
fully" he limited.
AS he spoke, he looked curiously
at the button of the old garment
which he held in his hand. Bess
looked, too. Something yellow shone
through the worn meshes of the
cloth. She scraped it little with
her finger nail, and saw FIVE pound
piece.
"They are all alike, these but
tons" said the lawyer with a smile,
land there are hundred of them" F"
'Oh p shrieked Mrs. Otis; ITO
think that ridiculous old coat should
be worth FIVE hundred pounds !" and
she took it eagerly into her possession.
"As for the old carriage" said
the lawyer.
Its stuffed with notes p cried
Mrs. Otis.
No, it wasn't stuffed with notes,
and Uncle John had not left his
favorite niece all his fortune; but
under the seat of faded green cloth
was found title deed to Wheat
lands, bequeathing that valuable
property to the girl who had wished
always to live there.
1t was happy bequest; for after
Bess had married Eustance St. Elmo,
and much of the St. Elmo wealth was
lost, Bess, with her husband and
little ones, made a happy home at
Wheatlands. .-llae Martin.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-01-28
QUEER axcusz FOR ATTENDING CHURCH.

A lady of New York in addressing
the Ethical Culture Society recently
on "The Personal Problem Of Social
Afiliation," said 1.-THE problem to
every thinking man and woman who
belongs to any religious body is. DO
belong where l find myself7' There
is only one way to answer the ques-
ton. If the church or religious body
to which you belong does not callout
the best that is in you and stir you to
the noblest action you are not where
you belong" she said.
A large number of ministers were
asked this question, If you had your
life to live over again would you en-
ter the ministry?' The greater num-
Der answered III the negative. The
chief reason gave was that the min
lister is no longer looked up to as
leader of the people. And is it any
wonder that he is not held in such
esteem?
"I overheard a conversation be-
tween three college professors. One
said that he went to church because
his wife importuned him to do so, and
to please her he went. The second
said that he went to church because
the particular denomination to which
he belonged did not bind him to any
strong profession of faith. The third
said that he never went to church,
and instead of permitting his children
to go into Sunday school with bad
air and worse instruction he took
them and his wife and spent the Sun
day in the country and returned pre-
pared for another weeks work.
know a woman who is member of
church and says that she would not
leave it even though she has long
since ceased to believe its doctrines.
"The most ludicrous excuse for at
tending church, however, was that of
a woman who wrote to the editor ofa
magazine and asked how to get into
society. The editor answered, Join
some fashionable church, contribute
largely to its support and charitable
moves, get yourselfelected into an Of
fee and you are safe for an entrance
into society
s'I cry shame, shame. To what
base uses the church has been put, the
church that was sealed with the blood
of martyrs and built with sacrifices,
tears and blood.
eff the religious body to which you
belong does not call out the noblest
and best that is in you and lead to
higher ideals then to youitis a worm
out institution and you do not belong
there. Seek that which leads you
into a higher and purer life. !"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-01-28
TABLE MANNERS.
The Sword swallower Explains His Position


II wish you wouldn't, pa" said
the eldest girl.
"Wish I wouldn't what?" asked
the plain citizen.
Eat with your knife" replied the
daughter. 'tIt's So"
80 what?" asked the old gentle
man, knitting his shaggy brows.
80 unconventional.
"Now, lokee here" said the plain
citizen. 'sI'm 60 years old, and get
ting older every minute, but I'm not
too old to learn. If you can show
me any way of gettin' gravy up to
my mouth with a fork I'm willing to
try it. I've got to use knife"
People don't do it, pa"
"You're mistaken about that. I
know heap O. people that do it.
"But not refined people, pa
"Ireeny," said the plain citizen,
ssyou make me tired. / b'lieve in
being polite when there's sense to it.
Manners is manners, an 1 always
taught you manners when you was a
young one. / wouldn't let you grab
for the biggest piece O pie on the
plate, and 1 wouldn't let you spill,
and when you drunk I made you
drink quiet. You wasn't allowed to
wipe your mouth on the tablecloth or
speak with your mouth full. Them's
manners. Jes' so longs I keep my
own knife on my own vittles claim
that it's my own business whether I
put it in my mouth or not-ain't il"
"Well, perhaps it is, but
"There isn't any but about it.
When I took you to the city last fall
there was feller setting at a table in
the restaurant where we was; dressed
to kill, he was, too, and when he got
through eating he lit up a cigarette
--and wimmi1 setting right there
member that -
"Yes, butt
mo but about it. If he'd been a
boy o. mine I'd have jerked him out
o. the room and taught him manners.
When that family was stayin' with
us last summer you fused because I
sat down to the table in my shirt
sleeves. The man he sat down with
out even a vest, and that was all right.
/ think it was all right, too, but why
is muslin any more improper than
blue and white striped flannel, and
how is belt any better than suspen-
ders1 They're both to hold the
pants up"
"Why, pa"
'sI hope you don't mean to say that
pants is unconventional. Ireeny,
you talk lot of poppycock. I'm
willing to be polite, as I said, but 1 m
going to use common sense about it,
and I'm going to eat with my knife
as much as dern please, and / don t
want to hear any more out of you
about it. Understand that, don't
you, Ireenya'
eyes. pa" replied the daughter,
meekly Chicago News.
/ VXTrrrs Tf e1,o.sf1 a. ~,f.-A ,-,<s.1 4
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-01-28

TEACHER was explaining the
meaning of the word recuperate.
Now, Willie, - the said, "If your
father worked hard all day he would
be tired and all worn out, wouldn't
he?"
"Yes'm."
Then when night comes and his
work is over for the day, what does
he dor"
That's what ma waEts to know"
-C2eveLand Lcadev.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-01-28

Mr.. KLosEMAN-'My dear, I'm
afraid that sealskin sacque I promis-
ed you"
Mrs. Kloseman-'That' enough
John you promised it and"
Mr.. Kloseman-''B But we We got to
economic. You must make some sac
rifce."
Mrs. Kloseman (determinedly)-
eyes, but it won't be a sealskin
sacqueri6ce.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-01-28
THE IDEAL WOMAN.

An ideal woman, according to an
observing member of the sex who has
devoted considerable time to study
ing the characteristics other sisters, is
one without an ideal.
Not only is she easy to live with,
but she is worth living for. She has
no history. She has no story. She
wears a reasonable hat at matinees.
She is too clever to talk of woman's S
rights she takes them. She wears
frocks that match her hair ; she does
not dye her hair to match her frocks.
She helps her husband to build up a
future for himself, and never seeks to
rake up his past.
She believes that a theory is the
paper fortress of the immature, and
that clergyman may still be man.
She knows that when men talk
about woman being good-looking,
they mean that she is we'll dressed,
though they don't know it.
She does not insist upon her hus-
bands eating up the cucumber sand
wiches left over from one of her par
ties; she eats them herself, and suf-
fers in silence.
She is not such fool as to fancy
that any one is ever convinced by ar
gument. She does not reason. She
loves.
She does not believe that man can
love only once or only one.
She herself prefers loving much to
loving many.
She knows that every real woman
is the ideal woman, the fact being that
every idea of the ideal woman is who'll
ly dependent on the idealist, and
every woman who is idolized is ideal
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-01-28

NoTlong ago an old colored woman
Of Virginia visited a doctor and in
formed him that her husband was
seriously i'll. The doctor fastened
home with her. and upon making a
diagnosis of the mans case informed
the wife that he had a hopeless case
of gastritis. 'Gastritis !" CALCULATED
the old woman. "De Lawd knows
/ don't know how he ever got gas
tritis, cause / don't burn thing but
coal lie in dis house, an but power
full little of that"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-01-28

WIFE-If / should die what would
you do?
Husband-I'd almost be crazy.
Wife-Would you marry again?
Husband-No, / wouldn't be as
crazy as that.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-01-28

WHEN men marries for money he
has to work overtime trying to collect
his salary.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-01-28

No MAN is a fool who is wise
enough to recognize his own folly.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-01-28
THE PASSING OF THE MOTHER.

The newspapers of the principal
cities of the nation have been calling
attention to a large increase in the
demand for children S nurses. Some
have pointed to this with seeming ex-
ultancy as the opening of field for
women's hands. recognizing that the
touch of the woman is necessary in
the rearing of mankind. As result
it has been seriously advocated that
the young women who intend to be
self-supporting should take up the
work Of embarrassing, as an employ
ment that is pleasant, remunerative
and far-reaching in its results.
On the other hand, the demand has
a serious side !; a side that is more a
subject for alarm than of satisfaction.
The need of nurse for the children
means in the most cases that the
mother feels that her time can be
better employed in some calling other
than caring for her offspring. It in
dicates desire to shift the cares in
cident to motherhood to the shoulders
of another. 1t portends the passing
Of the mother, and such portent
augurs i'll to future generations. In
lasting results the child reared by its
mother-even though she be entirely
ignorant of the principles of modern
Scientific child-rearing' has an in
finite advantage over the nurse-fos-
tered child. Into the life of the for
mer has come subtle touch the latter
never knew. The little one learns at
the mothers knee lessons born of a
tenderness foreign to the best of
nurses. His nature is softened and
bettered through its contact with the
faith, sweetness and holiness Of
motherhood. Heart-hurts and body
bruises are for him healed with a
kiss, and he early learns where his
tale of childish woe will find relief in
an understanding sympathy, spring
ing from love as boundless as the
universe. These lessons are lasting
and imperceptibly mold characters
into their fullest capabilities.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-01-28

CLARA-What do you think Of
Stella's escapade!
Maude-Why, what did she do?
Clara-She eloped with her fathers s
coachman last night.
Maude-Well, her future is as
sured.
Clara-In what way?
Maude-He has a stable income.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1905-06-09
Piee on Causes Her Death.

IN the Wiltshire village of Zeals,
England. a death has been caused by a
pet pigeon. Two young women living
at the rectory were found unconscious
In their bedroom on Monday morning.
One of the girls, Miss Maude, Of South
ampton, was dead before the doctor ar
rived, but the other revived after some
time
1t appears that fire had been light
ed overnight in a small stove which
was connected with the main chimney
by fue. The girls retired to rest no.
ticing nothing except that the fire
smoked considerably. When the stove
was removed for investigation the body
of a pet pigeon, which had been miss
ing for some months, was found block
ing the pipe.
The poisonous fumes had thus been
driven back into the bedroom. The cor
oner's jury returned verdict of death
from misadventure.