davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
DIsFIGURING ULCER
People Looked at Her in Amazement
Pronounced lncurable-Face
Now Clear as Ever-Thanks
God for Cuticura.

Mrs. ?. Hackett, of 400 Van Buren,
St, Brooklyn, N. Y, says: Il wish
to give thanks for the marvellous cure
Of my mother by Cuticura- She had
a severe ulcer, which physicians had
pronounced incurable. 1t was a ter
rible Disagreement, and people would
stand in amazement and look after
her. After there was no hope from
doctors she began using Cuticura
Soap, Ointment, and Pills, and now,
thank God, she is completely cured,
and her face is as smooth and clear
as ever"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
"lest We Forget"

We are prone to forget and lose
faith in these days Commercialism is
rampant. the getting of a hoard of
dollars the avowed purpose of life
of the great mass Patriotism and
love of country ss-n 20 be back num-
bers. lost in the nodsrn whirl of dol
well to pause and remember.
Col. William Coiyslie. who died in
Minneapolis recently. was one of those
whom it Is we'll to remember. He and
his kind are the foundations upon
which the country IS really builded.
Col. Colville commanded the First
Minnesota regiment in the civil war.
The general service OF the regiment
was distinguished, but at Gettysburg
it and its commander conducted them
selves in a manner to furnish inspira-
With his regiment depleted through
previous service to a total of but 264
officers and men, Col. Colville was or
dered to defend a peach orchard oc-
cupyins a crucial point in the union
line of defense. After the regiment,
less than three full companies, had
taken its place, Gen. Hancock, see
ing that the charge of Gen. Pickett
was to be directed straight at it, or
dered the First Minnesota to hold its
position. no matter what the cost
The reply of Col. Colville should be
given = place among the sayings of
sofa Will hold its position even if it
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
rs ABSOLUTELY PURE
NATURES OWN REsToRATIvEs
IN FAvoRITE PRESCRIPTION.
DR.. Pierce Announces the ingredients
of the Family Medicines Which
Have Made His Name a Household
Word in the World.

With all the recent talk about patent
medicines and the determined effort in
certain quarters to cast discredft upon
all household remedies which come un-
der that head, the fact remains that
some Of these medicines are SO firmly
established in popular favor and con-
fidence. have so proved their worth
and value, that all the denunciations
of bigots cannot destroy the peoples
faith in them.
One of the best known of these rem
edies is DIR. Pierce's Favorite Prescrip-
ton, a medicine which for years has
been accepted by the people as STAN
dard preparation for the cure of those
ailments to which women alone are
subject and which has proved to be
certain cure in nine cases out of ten
and a sure relief in the other one.
There is nothing to conceal about
the Favorite Prescription 1t is an abb
solutely pure medicine-made of roots
and herbs, Natures own restoratives-
Dr. Pierce is perfectly willing to let
every one know that his Favorite Pre-
scription contains Blue Cohosh (Caulo-
phyllum Thalictroides), Black Cohosh
(Cimicifuga Racemosa), Ladyfs Slip
per (Cypripediun Pubescens) and
Golden Seal (Hydrastis Canadensis)-
Every doctor knows that such a pre-
scription is beneficial in the diseases
of women and when properly COM
pounded is certain to effect cure in
practically all cases when given fair
trial. Hereafter every bottle of the
Favorite Prescription will plainly. tell
of what the medicine is composed
Thus DR.. Pierce will once more prove
to the world his own confidence in the
remedy which for forty years has
borne his name and which is known all
over the world as a sovereign cure for
those diseases which, unchecked, make
our women old before their time.
There is no alcohol In the Favorite
Prescription. Dl. r.erce never be-
lieved in using alcohol in the prepare
ton of his famous household remedies.
For it he substituted chemically pure
glycerine, which has wonderful prop
critics for extracting the medicinal
principles of roots and herbs and barks
and preserving them at their full
strength, without any deleterious eff
feet whatever.
Your druggist sells the Favorite
Prescription and also that famous
Alternative and blood purifier, the Gold
en- Medical Discovery. Write to DR..
Pierce about your case. He is we'll
qualified physician and will treat your
case as confidential and without
charge for correspondence. Address
| him at the Invalids' Hotel and Surgical
Institute, Buffalo, N. Y, of which he is
Chief Consulting Surgeon
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
The Lucky Man.

The Lucky Man.
IT'S sweet upon a wfntry night
To sit beside the fire
When outside all the world is white
And by the window bowls alright
The billiards. blinded ire
With a lively tale. a glass O. grog,
glowing pipe and cracking log!
What though at times a. saddening
thought
Comes for the luckless souls
The sailor the frozen mast.
The homeless where the whirlwinds blast,
And Death in his chariot rolls
Without the tale and the glass o. grog:
The glowing pipe and the cracking log
Yet cen thoughts shadow builds the fire
Brighter by such compare,
And the howl o. the storm through leaf
less trees
Seems but to deepen the lounger's ease
To dreams that are laZily fair,
With lively tale and a glass o. grog,
glowing pipe and cracking log
Stephen Chalmers.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
FINDS WHAT WAS BURNING.
Circle Around the Stove Puzzled BY
the Unusual Odor.

the OnuSudl OOOT.
The noses of little group of men
around the stove in the box Office of
the op'ry house went up in the air
simultaneously. whats that burn
ing?" said Jake Bentley, twisting his
body half around and examining his
coattails. Must be somebody s
boots" Everybody took his feet from
the stove hearth and felt of his soles.
Peleg Hostetter made a minute ex-
animation of the smooth yellow cigar
he was smoking.
81 hope nobody's been putin rub
Der comb teeth in my pipe" said I'm
tie cap over the bowl, knocked the
contents out on the hearth and began
stirring among the ashes.
Its matches in somebody's peck
ets,'' said Jason Snodgrass. And then
everybody turned his match pockets
inside out.
well, this'll help some,'' said Sam
Knight, as he filed his pipe with ttur-
tle'' tobacco and lit it.
Its somethin', sure.'' said Abijah
Novel.
"'Tis so,'' said Eph Baker.
''Smells like somebody set fire to a
wet dog" said Jake Bentley.
Suddenly a large clout of smoke
settled over the group. Everybody
arose and peeked out of the little win
dow. Wilson Snozer, the manager,
was. standing in front of the store with
an advance agent, who was smoking a
cigarette.-Boston Post.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29

Write to s. G. Warner, G. p. and T.
A.. Kansas City Southern Ry-. Kansas
City, Mo-, for information concerning
Free Government Homesteads, New
Colony Locations. Improved farms.
Mineral lands. Rice lands. and Timber
lands and for copy of Current Events"
Business Opportunities, Rice book K
c. 8. Fruit Book Cheap round trip
homeseekers tickets on sale first and
third Tuesdays Of each NINTH Tho
short line to the Land OF FAfillment
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29

Are you going to the Pacific? There
is a new railroad reaching that favor
lite region, the San Pedro, Los Angeles
& Salt Lake Railroad, popularity known
as the salt Lake Route" 1t is oper-
ating a palatia1 vestibuled Pullman
train out of Salt Lake City for Los
Angeles every evening at $50 o'clock
Your ticket agent has coupons read
ing via this new line and be sure to
insist upon this routing when buying
tickets to the Pacific Coast
Ask for the Salt Lake Route, or the
San Pedro Line, and take no other, be-
cause it is the best road to the best
part Of the Pacific Coast. Write for
illustrated booklet to J. l. Moore.
D. p. A, Salt Lake City.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29

Superior quality ana extra quantity
must win. This is why Defiance
Starch Is taking the place of all
others.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29

Self-love is the only kind that does
not get cold feet.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29

Several people have bumped up
poverty.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29

A mans idea of comfort seldom
jibes with that of his wife.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29

You sing n clover
l fret, a rover,
And yearn and sigh!
Oh, field of clover,
With blooms all over,
| Swear-at sea-
When l, the rover,
Have been all over,
I'll come to thee,
All, field of clover,
I'll roll all over,
Amid thy bloomf
No more a rover,
I'll live in clover
And sweet perfumei
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29

If you would force a woman to ac-
knowledge the corn step on her toes
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
REVENGE of the Hawks.

There is an interesting bird story
current in Bristol, R. l., according to
the Providence Journal Last spring a
man employed on large estate in that
town disturbed a nest of fish hawks.
The result was that at least one of the
young died.
This spring the man has been so be-
set by two fish hawks, thought to be
the father and mother whose young he
threw out of their nest last year, that
he has not been able to do any sus-
tanned labor on the place. The hawks
flew about him close to his head, and
sometimes when he was not prepared
for it they struck at him with their
bills. Finally the owner of the es-
tate had to discharge the man. His
successor has been undisturbed by the
birds, which seem to be well satisfied
with their revenge.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29

Falling in love is often serious
accident.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29

DON'T FORGET
A large 2-oz package Red Cross Ball Blue, on1,
cents The Russ Company, South Bend, Ind
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29
She Was in Training.


Were going to have such jolly
time,'' said the girl in blue "A dinner
first, you know, and then theater
party. Of course, you'll Gomez"
Il should like to above all things"
returned the girl in gray, but fear it
isn't possible
isn't possiblei Why not?"
I'm not allowed to eat much OF
anything just now, and l fear such a
dinner would be too great tempta-
tion," explained the girl in gray, sadly.
.-Dieting?" queried the girl in blue.
Doctors orders?"
No; lawyers"
Lawyer's?"
Yes; you see. my breach of promise
case comes to trial pretty soon, and
I'm training down to show the raw
ages of blighted affection
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29

Don't expect any man to have faith
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-07-29

A field of clover,
Red blooms all over
l know that SCENT
The bee, the rover,
He loves this clover,
And is content,
/ love the clover,
With blooms all over
AS does the beel
But l, a rover,
Am far from clover,
Upon the sea,
All, bee, in clover,
You're ten times over
More wise than L,
The Delta independent., 1905-10-06
TWO ludas Thompson Stories.

Judge Thompson. who sat upon the
bench of the superior court of this
state for some years prior to his death
suffered dreadfully. but was a great
joker. says writer in the Boston
Boston Herald.
The first case to be tried at ses.
sion OF the superior court held at
Fitchburg. short time prior to his
decease. had Just been opened. the
plaintiffs attorney had said. May 1t
please the court. Turning to the
Judge he said:
Can l trouble your honor.
"N-NN-No, Sir!" exploded the
Judge.
Put I beg your honor's pardon.
want to make notion" said the
attorney.
'M-M-Make your motion. sir! You
cc.can't trouble NEE
1t was the same Judge Thompson
who was met on the streets In Boston
by another lawyer with book In his
hand. The lawyer asked him what
the book was. The Judge replied:
"T-T.Thompson's overruled c-c-cases."
He had copy Of the latest volume OF
the reports Of the supreme court.
The Delta independent., 1905-10-06
A Fine conversatlo lonaIist.

1t was a much confused debutante
who, during her first Washington sea-
son, suffered agonies of torture from
self consciousness. One day she met
the late Secretary Hay at reception.
Her embarrassment was evident and
in striking contrast to the ease of the
Secretary and his two daughters.
Tell me what to say and how to say
it," she whispered to the Secretary as
he shook hands with her.
With ready wit he responded: "Say
the same things that people say to
you. Then listen closely"
The girl did as she was bidden.
When people said, How do you do?"
she replied. How do you do?" When
they said, $50 glad to see you," she
simply repeated the formula. One
after another of the sentences she
managed to stumble through. And as
she went along ease began to come to
her and she noticed that people con-
versed with her. She said SO little
and listened SO much. At the close OF
the evening she had the satisfaction
Of hearing some one say: What a
brilliant girl is Miss X She is such
fine conversationalist."
The Delta independent., 1905-10-06
1aklna Command .t. ones.

He had married widow, and they
no sooner got home after the cere-
monies than she put her arms akfmbo,
and remarked:
Now, John. off with them bridal
duds O. yourn and fetch me up cou-
pie O. scuttles O. coal from the cellar.
quick"
But. my angel!" he exclaimed.
my"
mo nonsense. John. Then go up to
the attic and bring me down that
large Saratoga, and afterward you can
step around to the grocer's and get
that box of soap. you know. Then you
can help me get supper rea-"
John rendered his resignation on the
spot-Rehoboth Sunday Herald.
The Delta independent., 1905-10-06


To the average man that racks his
brain to u-::,-e domestic ends meet on
$40 60 s1s week ihr-c is something
startling in the light recently thrown
on the life and habits OF Mr.. samuel
Dunlap. the octogenarian millionaire.
who died few weeks ago In London
Mr.. Dunlap's housekeepe- declares
among many other strange things, that
during forty years this owner of mil
lions purchased only one suit Of
clothes, cheap pair Of gray trousers
and two overcoats; while four straw
hats. at shilling each. were all the
head covering required for sixteen
years.
Once a month the houseEeeper cut
his hair; and that his locks should not
be wasted she had orders to stun mat.
tresses with them. When his frock
coat became frayed and green Mrs.
Ealden cut OF its tails and converted
It, for several years. further use, into
a jacket; while her master would
never have his shoes blacl,ed Or his
clothes brushed for fear Of wearing
them out.
The Delta independent., 1905-10-06
FAT As INSANITY AN7lDorE
Opinion Of Medical journal Ha
Aroused Establishment,


Are the majority of folk of weak
Are We all preparing ourselves for
lunatic asylums? These startling ques
tions have occurred to me after read
ing an article in a medical journal
on the gospel of fat as applied to the
treatment of mental disease" 1t
seems that the more you fatten up
the mentally afflicted the saner they
become; but, of course. the difficulty
lies in providing the lunatic with
adipose tissue, as there is nothing like
brain disease to cause too. too solid
flesh to mclt. @t
The aim of most of us nowadays is
to keep down what our transatlantic
friends. with their genius for using
the ugl:est word for everything, un-
compromisingly call flesh" We bathe.
we massage. we diet, we fy to these
and those waters, we try all manner
of cures, and put ourselves into vari-
Gus kinds of straps and pastes, and
take violent exercise with the aim OF
fning ourselves down and keeping
stoutness at bay.
Does this decided disposition on
the part Of men and women to avoid
corpulence. and the successful thin
ming down" that we notice on all
sides. portend increase of lunacy? II
SO. dieting and the taking Of waters
and massage ought to be forbidden
by act of Parliament. BY the way,
Hamlet was fat and scant of breath.
but he was certainly far from sane
LCndCn World.
The Delta independent., 1905-10-06
"strietly Fresh Eees."

These are strictly fresh egss?'
asked Hiram .HaZleby.
Strictly! Positively! No possible
doubt OF IT." declared the grocery.
man.
But what interested Hiram was tha I
upon one of the eggs was neatly writ
ten the name and address OF Mamie
Duesenberry," and an invitation to
whomever received the egg to write
to her. Hiram wrote TO the postmas
ter of the small Pennsylvania towr
instead. What information could the
postmaster give him?
Dear Mr.. Hazleby-Miss Duesen.
berry was a charming young woman
who was very successful In the poul.
try and egg line. She married and
vent out of the egg business three or
four years ago."
"Oh. positively! Every egg guaran
.ieed!" said the groceryman.-Judge.
The Delta independent., 1905-10-06
GOT BOTH SKULL AND soxes
coIored Man Amply Proved He Had.
Ssnsc OF Fear.


Ssnse OF Fear.
Not many years ago Col. Prescott
of Portland. Me-. had negro servant
who, he claimed, did not know what
fear was. One evening while the
colonel was with friends a bet was
made that number of those present
could scare the negro.
About IL o'clock on the night ap
pointed for the attempt Col. Prescott
called his servant to his study.
and in harsh voice. ordered him to
go to tomb ~ in nearby cemetery
and bring him skull.
With jolly "All right, massa." the
servant set off.
In the mean time the other parties
to the bet had secreted themselves
in the tomb and awaited the arrival
of the negro.
AS soon as the servant entered he
CROPPED around and picked up skull
Put that down: that's mine," came
another voice out of the darkness.
Nothing daunted, the negro laid 1t
down and picked up another
Put that down; that's mine." came
another voice out of the darkness.
He laid that downa and exclaimed:
"Golly, somebody owns all these
skulls, but I'm going to have this one.
anyway" and. picking up another
skull. he ran out of the tomb.
The men in the tomb were pretty
much frightened themselves by this
time. and started after the negro. who.
without turning around, ran straight
for his masters house. Rushing into
the study. he laid down the skull. ex.
claiming: 'Massa, here's the skull;
the bones are coming after"
The Delta independent., 1905-10-06
Capt. surns Cured of Pea Soup.

SdPSs oOTUS ~0tSo u VG6 SOup.
The following was frequently told
by Capt. Martin Burns Of Bangor. Me-.
as one on him:
The captain was very fond OF split
pea soup. and before leaving port he
always put In = good-sized stock OF
split peas. On this occasion. however.
his negro steward got whole peas. and
so the soup that the captain called for
on the first day out was thrown away.
The next day pea soup was again
served. and this time the captain. after
having eaten hearty meal. said to his
steward: Steward. that's the kind OF
soup I like; we'll have some more Just
like II tomorrow"
''To de Lawd's sake, cap'n," ex.
claimed the steward. ma jaws am so
tired chewing dem whole peas dat All
just can't chem no mo-
The captain never asked for pea
soup again.
The Delta independent., 1905-10-06
Could Most Catch the Train.

There is man in Enfield, Ct. who
drives carriage to and from the sta.
tioE for the accommodation (D of the
public. He is exceedingly slow. nearly
always being a little behind time.
One day he was engaged to carry a
lady to a train which 1t was very I'm.
portant she should catch. She watched
and waited. with hat and coat on, nm
til 1t was nearly train time. At last
Mr. c. drove up, hurrying not an atom.
The lady's husband flew to the door
and impatiently shouted: Whats
the use of coming now? It's nearly
train time"
WALL" drawled the immovablc
hackman. "if your wife has her things
all on, and is ready to start. ! reckol
can git her most there"
The Delta independent., 1905-10-06
Brock. Candidacy No. Favored.

Henry e. Brock. formerly clerk OF
the New Hampshire House Of Repre-
sen,atives, has at various times been
candidate for public ofice. Some
little time ago his son. lad OF six or
eight years. was meditating uEon the
cGcor:aiE,!cs OF k..sly existence. and
It last he asked his mother.
III the King Of England should die.
who would be king?"
THE Prince OF Wales" he was told
III the Prince Of Wales should die
who would be king?" he asked again
Ills mother turned the question OF
In some way. when the boy, vita n
deep breath, said:
We'll. anyway, hope pa won't
try for it,
The Delta independent., 1905-10-06
oI.e... with pleasing po..iblll.ie.

Disease with Pleasing Possibilities.
New diseases Of one sort or another
are always cropping up as new condi-
tions give them an excuse. The latest
is autorosis. and II is really quite the
thing to have. You get 1t driving a
motor car. Only the real hero behind
$1.z5 pair OF goggles can have 1t,
and 1t is said to begin With burning
sensation in the head and dimness
of vision. This is followed by a dull
ache all over the body ana constant
fear Of danger. So great IL the power
Of the disease that a passing shadow
on the roadside is said 10 cause the
suffering chauffeur to throw In his
emergency brake and bring his car to
a dead stop. 1t iB never right to hope
that a disease will become an epi-
demic. but there are certainly possibil-
tiles in s.-Springfeld. Mass,
Republican.
The Delta independent., 1905-10-06
How willie Made Money.

Little Willie Jones' mother had been
in the habit Of giving him spending
money every day. One day mother
told Willie that he was getting too old
and big boy to be spending money
TO: candy, and II he wanted any more
morey he would have to earn 1t him.
self. But Willie seemed to be more
prosperous day after day. One day
his mother noticed lot of children
yelling and shrieking In the back yard.
Upon investigation she found Willie
surrounded by the admiring children
end this sign upon the playhouse:
willie Jores Will Eat
Il small green worm for l cent.
large green worm for 2 cents 1 small
fuzzy worm for 8 cents. large fuzzy
worm for cents. small green toad
10 cents: l large green toad. 25 cents.
The Delta independent., 1905-10-06
When the Baby Talks,

Baby talks. and to him who listens
1t reveals. Baby thinks, and It rs well
to put 1t in your notes. For instance.
the younger son Of Edward Lee. a law
yer Of Hyde Park. n tot Of three years.
was saying his prayers the other even
Ing and after amen" remained knee el.
ing. apparently in deep thought. H.r
mother asked what he was doing.
Thinking"
What are you thinking about?"
Paying"
What are you praying for. dar-
ling?"
"Fanking God for making me a yittel
boy"
AS he remained silent. his mot 1sr
said:
"And what else?"
"'Sh. mamma. is listn'in'."
did God speak,"
''Zess! God said. All yight Teddy:
go to sleep ep'"-Chicago Tribune.