davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-02
n ffVSE ~
GOOD NAN WAS; ASHAMED.
Cause Of Demise suffcient to Make
4 @tssgG Il Even the Bishop Vince, r.

Cause of Demise isuffic lent to Make
Ky Sstsss Fl Even the Bishop Vince. sss
The late Bishop Peck Of the Metho-
dist Episcopal church enjoyed good
living, as his massive frame and 800
pounds indicated. While presiding at
session Of the New Hampshire con-
ference he was entertained by Mrs.
Brown, who had reputation as a.
cook. She prided herself especially
upon her mince, pies.
1t. was at.the supper table, and the
bishop had done. ample justice to a
generous slice of the tempting pastry
ne was urged to have a second piece,
but refused, as he was to make the
Chief address Of the week that even
Ing. Mrs. Brown insisted, with femi-
nine persuasiveness, contending that
whatever other mince pies might be,
hers, at least, were harmless. The
distinguished guest yielded at last,
Till not only second, but third
equally large portion of the pie had
disappeared.
Evening came, and with it a con-
gregatlon which packed the large
church to the doors, to listen to the
able divine. The hour for service ar
rived, but the bishop had not ap-
peared. The elders looked anxious.
The choir sang, and the preliminary
services were well started, when two
or three of the brethren went out to
look for the absent speaker. They
found him at Mrs. Browns writhing in
the agonies of severe illness, result
ing from his indiscretion at the table.
AS the faithful ministers saw their
beloved bishop lying on his bed and
groaning with pain, one of them said
why, bishop you are not afraid to
die, are you?"
NO. replied the sufferer. 81 am
not afraid to die, but l am ashamed
to-"
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-02
Status of Enulish Actors,

Since actors have been excluded
from the royal inclosure at Ascot
races, British members of the profess
sion are complaining. One of them
says: ut is impossible for an actor
to attend a levee, even though he
may have attended in the days be-
fore he Joined the theatrical profess
sion. He may have taken a univer-
sity degree; he may have been called
to the bar, but these qualifications for
appearing in the royal presence lapse
when he becomes an actor. Three
actors have been knighted for distinc-
tion in their calling and they may go
to court as nights, but not as actors,
while every actor who is not knighted
is still an outsider, under ban which
the court officials would not dream of
applying to painters, sculptors and mu'
sicians"
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-02
HE KEPT HIS WORD.
Private Hopkins Moved, But He Ger.
tainIy Did Not Walk.

Private Hopkins Moved, But He Ger.
tainIy Did Not Walk.
The day had been heavy one for
the Blankshire Rifle Volunteers. Un-
der sweltering sun they had
marched till their feet blistered, and
they were weary in the extreme.
At last Private Hopkins ''fell out. "
Il won't walk another step!" he de-
clared.
Come along man. cried his cap
tain, "the invading force is known to
be in the neighborhood, and you'll be
captured if you stay behind
But nothing would induce the vail
ant Hopkins to move another step;
therefore the regiment went on with
out him.
They had barely passed out of
view, however, before Private Hop
kins was observed to be pounding
after his comrades at a speed which
would have done professional ath-
lete credit, a maddened bull close be-.
hind him evidently supplying the nee.
essary motive for haste.
He reached them safely, the bull
was headed off and all was we'll.
II thought you said you wouldn't
walk another step?" remarked the
captain.
"Great Scott" cried Hopkins. mOp-
ping his fevered brow. "You don't
call that walking, 90 you?'-Birming-
ham (Eng) Post.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-02
Eauie CAUGHT bv a Doq.

A remarkable capture of an eagle
by a dog near Romans was reported
here.
The dog belonged to farmer named
Angelin Descombes ,at the village of
Chatuzandes. The eagle swooped
down on the dog to carry, it off, but
the animal, on feeling the birds
claws in it's back, turned sharply and
bit the eagles claws. The bird rolled
over on the ground and the dog imme-
diately pounced on it and held it down
until the arrival of his master, who
captured the bird alive.
From wing point to wing point the
eagle measured four feet nine inches.
London Express.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-02
Joke on the Archeoloqist.

For many a year archeologists have
expatiated on the wonderful construc.
tive skill of the ancient Romans as
shown by the aqueduct of Chaillot,
and many were the papers on the
subject read before the various
learned societies.
But they observe discreet silence
now, for an investigator studying the
archives of the, Hotel de Vile has dis
covered that the aqueduct is compares
lively modern.
The document, the authenticity Of
which is undoubted, shows that it was
constructed by Bernard Palissy in
1867. by. order Of Catherine de Medi-
ci-Paris Herald. @%Es $. -
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-02
Sad Reading for England.

Watchers from afar sorrow that the
Mother of Parliaments should have
sunk to the level of pothouse brawls.
The house of commons has for years
past been steadily losing its hold up
on the national esteem. Such scenes
as that reported by Reuter- will rap
idly hasten it's decline from it's once
lofty estate. We wonder whether the
far-reaching effect of such pitiful ebul-
litions is fully realized in England -
India (Bombay) Times.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-02
It Didn't Worry Him.

Mrs. G. one morning last week
thought she smelled gas. Bravery
came to her mysteriously and she
crept down stairs to investigate AT.
ter smelling about for some minutes,
she rushed upstairs, called Mr.. c.,
then shool: him, and at last aroused
him. Then this was heard:
John, there's leak in the gas pipe
in the kitchen. Well all die if it is
not fixed"
Leaks had been heard of before,
and Mr.: c. sleepily asked:
rs it a-leaking. much nOw?"
mot much!" screamed his wife, and
then, as Mr.. C. turned over, this sooth-
ing advice was given:
Put bucket under It and come to
bed."-Birmingnam (Eng.) Post.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-02
CHAPTER XXI.
The Snares Of the Sorcerer,


With this sneer, the sorcerer drew
nearer to Helen, adding:
II have cut off yo- darling's escape
in this direction. I shall see him as
ne enters the dungeon and make sure
to cut off his escape on that side. Now,
Helen &eauclair, you are to 20 hence
with me. l have a secure place in
which to keep you at Dun Aengus for
time. Your lover is keen and OBJ
servant, but though he was here at
Dun Aergus with me for several days,
all its secrets; this passage behind the
slab, for instance, which leads to
deep excavation beneath the building,
near, that we'll shaft in which he thinks
my body lies dead; and the two cells
in the north wing-the stone tower
that was-of the old barracks. To
those cells I am now going to take
you. In a few hours only you and 1
and Clarence Darrell will be at Dun
Aengus ruins. make every move
ment deliberately. Your lover is
away. He will not return for two
hours yet. Wilford Osred, the sailors
and Neil Bashfort are dead. Lord Cen
lis and Bashfort's wife are asleep in
your former prison. Come" he added.
taking q vial and small piece OF
sponge from his bosom; ,"it is time for
us to depart,
He saturated the sponge with liquid
from the vial. ~.- :, 49,
Helen, unable to move. but able to
see, watched his movements with ter
rible alarm In her heart. 2..5s .s's ~: 5,
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-02
NE TOO
The "Tail Enders" That Follow Gen.
uine Articles.

The "TaiI Enders" That Follow Gen.
uine Articles.
It is sometimes interesting to watch
the curves imitators make to get the
public to buy limitations of genuine
goods.
Every now and then some one will
think there is splendid opening to
fix UP something like Postum Coffee
and advertise the same way and take
some of the business.
An imltator is naturally ignorant OF
food values and how to skillfully
make a cereal coffee, on scientific
lines.
Such men first think of preparing
something that looks and tastes like
the original, with no knowledge of
how the grains should be treated to
prepare them so that the starchy part
is transformed properly and the val
liable nourishing elements made d.
gestible.
Such limitations may be foisted on
the public for a short time, but the
people are critical and soon detect the
attempt, then the imitators go out OF
business.
Something like 400 of these little
factories have been started in various
parts of this country in the past 9
years, and practically all of them have
gone the ''long Journey" Just lately
a new one has come to life and evi-
IDENTIFY hopes to insert itself in public
favor by copying the style of the Post
um advertising in the papers.
This is a free country and every
man who makes an honest product
and honestly labels it has reason for
some recognition, but the public has
the right to know the facts
Postum is the enc original and gen.
uine Cereal Coffee, made skillfully
and for a definite purpose. 1t has
stood through all the wars of the i'm
itators, has won the approval of the
Physicians and the people.
People who really: seek to free
themselves from the coffee habit and
at the same time to rebuild the soft
grey matter in the nerve centers, and
thus reconstruct the nervous system,
broken down by coffee, can rely on
Postum. S.ts' zsss
TherN's reason.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-02
His Legacy.

johnson is playing in great luck
since he won that will suit and in
herits his dead rich uncle's property
am glad of it. He is good fellow,
and was as poor as Jobs turkey
eyes. but. the poor devils poorer
than ever now"
"You don't tell me! He surely has
not squandered his Inheritance al
ready?"
mo; he came out in the hole for at
torneys' fees"
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-02
NO MORE HEADACHE
GENERAL WEAKNESS AND FEVER
DISAPPEAR TOO.
How a Woman Was Freed from Troubles
That Had Made Life Vretched for
Many Years.

'NAauy 1eaFSs
Tho immediate causes of headaches
vary, but most of them come from Door
o. poisoned blood. In anRmia the blood
is scanty or thin the nerves are imper-
fectly nourished and pain is the way in
which they express their weakness. In
colds the blood absorbs poison from the
mucous surfaces, and the poison irritates
tho nerves and produces pain. In rheu-
matism, malaria and the grip, the poison
i'll the blood produces like discomfort. In
indigestion the gases from the impure
matter kept in the system affect the
blood i'll the same way.
The ordinary headache-cures at best
give; only temporary relief. They deaden
the pain but do not drive the poison out
of the blood. DR.. Williams Pink Pills
on tho contrary thoroughly renew the
blood and the pain disappears perma-
nently. Women i'll particular have found
these pills all unfailing relief in head
aches caused by an@mia.
Miss Stella Blocker recently said: CDR.
Williams Pink Pills did me a great deal
Of good. had headache nearly all the
time. After had taken three boxes of
these pills became entirely we'll"
"How long had you suffered 2" she
Tas asked.
I" For several years. I can't tell the
exact date when my illness began for it
came OH by slow degrees. I had been
going down hill for many years.
"Did you have any other ailments?"
was very weak and sometimes had
fever: My liver and kidneys were af-
fected as well as my heads
How did you come to take tho rem
edy that cured you?''
II saw in southern newspapcr q
statement of some person who was cured
of like trouble by DR.. Williams Pink
Pills. My physician hadn't doneme any
good, so bought box of these pills.
After I had taken one box felt so much
better that I kept Oh until I became. en-.
tirely weA.'
Miss Blocker's home is at Leander,
Louisiana. DIR. Williams Pink Pills are
sold by all druggists. Besides headache
they cure neuralgia. sciatica, nervous
prostration. partial paralysis aud rl'cv.
sac.isln. s.G%sz : ~@-r y '- =
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-02
Thousand Of onlen.
ARE MADE Il:|l WE'LL AND STRONG
suooass oflydla E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound Rests Upoa the Fact that Il
Really Does Make Slok Women Well -

Thousands upon thousands Of Ameri-
can women have been restored to
health by Lydia e. Pinkhams VeSetac
BILE Compound. Their letters are on file
in Mrs. Pinkham's Office, and prove this
statement to be fact and not mere
boast. "
Overshadowing indeed is the success
of this great medicine, and compared
with it all other medicines and treat.
ment for women are experiments.
Why has Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound accomplished it's wide
spread results for good?
Why has it lived and thrived and
done its glorious work for quarter of
q century?
Simply and surely because of it's ster-
ling worth. The reason no other med
icine has even approached it's success
is plainly and positively because there
is no other medicine in the world so
good for women's ills.
The wonderful power of Lydia E..
Pinlxham's Vegetable Compound over
the diseases of womankind is not be-
cause it is astimulant-not because it is
a palliative, but simply because it is
the most wonderful tonic and recon
structor ever discovered to act direct, y
upon the uterine system, positively
CURING disease and displacements and
restoring health and vigor.
Marvellous cures are reported from
al. parts of the country by women who
have been cured, trained nurses who
have witnessed cures. and physicians
who have recognized the virtue in
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound, and are fair enough to give
credit where it is due. If physicians
dared to be frank and open, hundreds
of them would acknowledge that they
constantly prescribe Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound in severe
cases of female ills, as they know by
experience that it will effect a cure.
Women who are troubled with painful
or irregular menstruation, backache,
bloating Tor flatulence), leucorrhea,
falling, Inflammation or liberation OF
the uterus. ovarian troubles, that
bearing down" feeling, dizziness,
faintness. indigestion, nervous pros
tration, or the blues. should take i'm
mediate action to ward off the serious
consequences and be restored to health
and strength by taking Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound. Anyway,
write to Mrs. Pinlkham, Lynn, Mass.
tor advice. It's free and always helpful
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-02
In Boston,.

IN Boston.
-"Give me some whisky" said the
man who had rushed hcadlong into the
barrOOm. II want it bad
"Do you desire it bad or badly, sir?"
inquired the gentlemanly~ bartender.
with emphasis.
The man decided that he wanted it
badly.-Louisville Courier Journal.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-02
Supplying the Demand.

oUPPTyTUg Cl4e 0t1H1dTU.
First COmpOser-Well, old boy. you
look happy. What have you been do
ing-writing a wedding march?
Second Composer-No, there are
wedding marches enough already. I've
got brand-new idea.
"What's that?"
"I'm composing divorce march,
Translated for Tales From Meggen-
dOrfer Batter.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-02
The New Girl,

Dolly was out for walk and met
an old friend of her father.
"And how old are you, little one?"
asked the old gentleman.
But Dolly was indignant
"I'm harfGly old at all; I'm nearly
new," she answered, tossing her head.
Chicago Journal.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-02
Bachelorls Sarcastic,

"It Is true" said Rev. Goodiey, that
women are more regular and devout
attendants at church than the men,"
$50 they should be-" replied the saw
ago bachelor, ''if they have any graft
tude. The church aids and abets them
in. committing matrimony."- Chicago
Journal. ~.--$--- : ST st i.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-02
What She'd Do.

What will do if my bathing suit
should happen to shrink"
IF it shrinks any smaller than it
is now you'll probably be arrested
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-02

, DE-: David Kennedy's Favorite Remedy, the
Great Kidney and Liver Cure World Famous Write Dn
Ksnnedys Sons Rondout, N. Y, sample bottie
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-02
Would Know Better.

"A man never should tell story
that he would be ashamed to repeat
in the presence of his wife,"
eyes, but suppose she was along
when he caught the fish?''
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-02

Mrs. Windows Soothing Syrup.
For children teething, softens the gums reduces in.
dsmlnattOn, aays pain, cures wind collie. 25c bottle
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-04-16
NEW CATHOLIC PARISH
WILL HOLD A FAIR
Plans Being Arranged by Holy Com
forter Congregation to Form NJ
cleus Of Building Fund.

The Church of the Holy Comforter
corner Of Fourteenth and East Capitol
streets, is the youngest of the Catholic
Churches in the District. a great need
for a Catholic church in that section OF
the city had iong existed, and last fall
Cardinal Gibbons delegated Father Jo-
seph l. Mcguire to found the parish. =
A former pool room and site were pur-
chased, remodeling was done, a small
chapel resulted. and the celebration of
the holy sacrifice of the mass and sing
Ing of hymns to our Universal Father
supplanted the handling of the cue and
the clicking OF the worries
Father Mcguire was long identified
with charity work in the District, being
chaplain TO municipal institutions and
special works conference of the St Vim
cent de Paul Society, and was pre-emi-
nently fitted for MS additional duty
What at first promised to be a parish of
300 or 400 Catholics soon increased TO
about 1000, and a quandary at once
arose as to how to care for them, as the
chapel provided for seating only about
500. Hence, the necessity arose for
funds, and Father Mcguire and Ills pa
Tishioners decided upon q fair to be held
in Odd Fellows Hall, Seventh and E
streets northwest May TO 10. Arrange
ments for it. have been under way for
about three months. Every effort seems
TO have been made to make this fair a
unique one. Every table or booth will
have one or two special features, and
yellow kids, katzenjammer kids and
their ma, Japanese girls selling Oyama
tea, a genuine Barney stone to be
kissed. etc, are among the certainties,
with hG1. features Ele
The fair committee is laboring to make
the concern so attractive that one visit
will beget another, and one visitor will
return again and again with new COM,
panion each time. Night and day havel
the parishioners been at work, and WE'LL
merited success seems assured K
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-04-16
WOULD COMPEL cONcL USlON
OF REAL ESTATE DEAL

John L. knopp has Instituted proceed
lngs in the equity branch of the District
supreme Court TO compel Albert H.
Erskine and his wife. Winifred Erskine
70 specially perform an agreement to
sell him certain real estate In the Dis
trict
The complainant says Mr.. and Mrs.
Ersklne agreed. on July 49, 1904, to sell
him lots 80 and 40 and part of lots 81 and
SO. In John 3. Kibbys subdivision of
tract of land known as CRANKY. agere-
eating nearly ten acres, at $. 200 an acre.
and accepted si59.s8 In part payment.
He says he offered on April u a deed
TO lot .. in block 81. Fort Saratoga.
Brookland, D. c.. and the remainder of
the purchase price in cash Mr.. Knopp
says. however, that the Erskines refused
TO carry out their part OF the agree
ment
Wilson & BarksdaIe are counsel for
the complainant
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-04-16
SIMPLE LIFE IN NEW JERSEY

How far is it to Someryille?' askfc
the newspaper photographer.
Nigh on to six miles replied tre
village shoemaker, looking up from ~
last.
Can get somebody here to drif e
me over?''
''I'll do it. if you'n wait till 1 hid cf
ur.'
In few minutes the team was really
and the eobbler and his passenger Were
on the way.
Pretty quiet life you lead up herd in
the hills" observed the photographer
Yes, pretty quiet-pot much doing
age to mske living.
'.Shoemaking profitable, is ito"
mo, not very. l spose III average
50 cents week at that. But do other
things, you see. | carry the papSrs
and that's good for 81 every week, shre.
Then / drive the mail twice a week. land
that's another dollar. And I do barber
ing. toe Some weeks / make 81 clear
but generally not more than $3.50 WYE
get along somehow, me and my family
and we amt gone hungry yet. Once Gn
a long while somebody wants to be Took
over to Somerville. and then's wheni ]
strike it rich Q, you needn't thinH
amt going to soak youn And he smiled
broadly upon the passenger beside hint.
The photographer remembered thai
he had less than S. in his pocket.
How much will you charge me?" jhe
asked
We'll, you work for one OF them big
metropolitan papers, and I'm going {tC
make you pay as much ass cents, Wy
gum!"-Newark News
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-04-16

the legal authorities in all the States
ard Territories OF the Union, has dis
covered that ieserticn is made q
criminal offense in forty-forr States :"
1t Is felony In four States y
A Typical Case
In explaining the obstacles which
make it difficult TO deal with desertion
by civil suits only, Mr. Baldwin tells
the story of a typical application for
assistance to the Associated Charities
Of Washington. In this instance the
man did not actually leave his wife
But he failed to support her and the
legislation ,dyocated by the Associated
Charities IS planned to deal with such
instances OF aoe-support
Ihere are many such cases of what
is called potential desertion.' in which
the man does not leave the city, but
fails TO contribute to his fam!lys main
tenance.
Another difficulty in Washington at
present is found in the qualifying words
of sufficient financial ability. which
have caused the court to hold that the
man without means was, therefore
not subject to the law. notwithstanding
good wages, as this man could, II he
cared to work
The new law proposed will regard the
earning capacity as well as the financial
possessions of the defendant
Mr. Baldwin has an interesting para
graph entitled, THE wife should be a
competent witness" 1t is found that the
abused. neglected wife sometimes re-
fuses TO testify because she fears in
Jury from her husband 1t is, therefore.
proposed that any interested person or
agency shall be allowed to bring ac-
ton IN case of wife desertfon, and that
the ceiart shall be empowered to compel
the wife TO testify. If necessary.
This puts desertion on the same ground
as other criminal offenses, which NAV
be reported to the legal authorities BY
anyone cognizant of the facts. 1t re-
moves the chance of the, mans escap-
ing punishment or correction through
the timidity, ignorance or lack of abil-
ity and energy on the part Of the wife
herself
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-04-16
WALTHAM WATCHES.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in his Essay
on Eloquence, said, in speaking Of a man
whom he described as a Godsend to
his town, se'He is put together like
Waltham Watch
This was no idle comparison, for as
DR.. Oliver Wendell Holmes said, eff you
have seen a cat picking her footsteps in
wet weather, you have seen the picture Of
Emerson's exquisite intelligence feeling
for It's phrase or epithet---and at last seiz-
ing his noun or adjective, the best, the
only one which would serve the need of
his thought
We can thus. follow Emerson's mental
process, by which he selected the phrase,
"He is put together like Waltham
Watch
e. "7he Perfected 4me,1can atcb anszaxshated book
of interesting Information about suahhes 1uN be sent
free upon request
AMERICAN WALTHAM WATCH COMPANY.
WALTHAM MASS.