The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-20

You put drinkers on a morse SO InaL ne
can scarcely see anything that IS going on
about him, and then you blame him for
trembling and jumping and starting to
run at every little noise You forget how
frightened you were when with blinded
eyes you were initiated into the awful
mysteries OF. the High MightifuI Lodge Of
Unbiased and Superintendent Chinwag-
gers. And why shouldn't a horse be fright
ened as easily as donkey 2-Boston
Transcript.
The Rich Man-Here. my poor fellow, is
The Tramp-very sorry. boss. but
must have proof dat yer come by dis hon
estly.-Chicago News.
why doesn't Miss Perley marry that
young man with whom she is so deeply
in love?"
wen. you know. felt certain deli
cacy in asking her.
''Oh, don't ask her.
WELL who in the world shall ask7'
ASK him. Houston Post.
He is a lonely soul. In the midst of the
crowd he is a hermit. His fellow men
glance at him once and then pass by on
the outer side. Women shrink from him
as heapproaches them. Even little children
look at him with innocent questioning
eyes and then turn and run to their par
Is he then so terrible of form or feature?
No, he is handsome. and wears good
Has he done murder? Has he committed
some deed of darkness and shame, that
men avoid him SOP
Is the brand of Cain set upon his brow?
Does some fearful secret CLEAN from his
Nj And yet in the midst of the crowd
He has been eating onions. cleveland
Leader.
Late again. Mr.. Brown! Late again.
chirped the manager. 4 believe you'd be
late at your wedding.
'AhH' nurmured the married man
And lot later. too, if I got the chance
again. Chicago Journal
DE ole mule th'owed Brer Thomas head
over heels inter de mill pond, an gator
riz up en- swallowed him"'
yes. but I reckon wen see him ag'in,
kaze de gator done crawled up on de
bank, en- he's looking mighty sick!'-At-
lanta Constitution.
IT'S queer how heredity will out" re-
market Johnson to his wife, as he opened
under the heading of remarks: William
Pray. what do you mean by that?'' de-
manded his wife.
"Oh, 7 meant. Of course But 1t was
too late.-LondOn T1t-Bits.
Mrs. Hiram Offen-Insert this advertise
ment for a girl, but for goodness sake do
not put Help Wanted over it.
Mrs. Hiram onen-No. that implies that
expect to do most of the work myself.
Press.
Foreman-TIow do you vote-to convict,
Juror Gaiiigan-How's that felIy wild tn
R-roman nose an curly hair votin?
FOreman-Guilty
Juror 6falligan-Then I vote Not gull
ty,'' begobs.-Chicago Tribune.
"Yez can see a lot av things through tn
botthom av a glass, but yez can't see tn
mkt marnin's headache"
s.Mosht people sees t think tn remark
about ut's bein betther to give than t re-
cefve applies only t tn gaff. '-Baltimore
American
Somebody who calls himself Prof.
Trent claims that Daniel Defoe. who wrote
Robinson Crusoe, was the greatest liar
Il guess the professor never met one Of.
our expert campaign liars. "-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Grace IS a jewel. I never saw wo-
sAhem! Wen, If the women don't like
her, that goes to prove that she's a Jeweu
all right. New Orleans Times-Democrat.
"I'd like to show you a patent safety de-
vice which will prevent your diamonds
from being stolen said the agent at the i
Il don't need any such thing as that. y
said the woman who answered the peits
I'm an actress. ''-Yonl1ers Statesman
Willie-There's another fellow in the
back par1or with sister.
Castleton-vVhat is he doing there7 She
knew I was coming, didn't she?
ooh, yes. But she begged him to stay
Brooklyn Life.
'T do not recall your ever making
speech in congress that attracted any at
tention." said the blunt person.
try to attract attention Washington
Star.