The Bowbells tribune. [volume] (Bowbells, Ward Co., N.D.) 1899-1969, 1905-08-18

insurance. Some day, when he is gath
cred to his fathers, his taking off may
be followed with the announcement:
''Loss fully covered by insurance.
=.
The selection of the daughter of Gov.
Hoch to smash the bottle at the christen-
ing Of the battleship Kansas seems ill
advised. 1t is we'll known that the state
possesses a more expert bottle smasher
than she.
Russia is buying bullet proof vests
for it's soldiers. If past reports from
the seat of war have been truthful, one
would think the greatest need Of the
Slav soldiers was bullet proof seats in
their trousers.
/ Two negro baseball clubs played a
game at Auburn, NO., the other day. AS
the day was hot one, the spectators
had good opportunity to estimate the
relative strength of the clubs shortly
after the game was called.
T." { :, j., -.
On the occasion of a cyclists we'd
ding near London the other day the
bride and bridegroom rode to church on
single machines and returned on a tan
dem. They may next add an infantile
pushcart to their wheeled collection.
-.
"When came to Washington found
a lot of roll top desks and some half
starved scientists in the agricultural de-
partment,'' said Secretary Wilson.
The scientists were chumps for not pawn
ing the desks and buying meal tickets.
If cary should succeed in holding out
until he drives the discovery stake at
! the pole the argument of. lifetime
would fail to convince a Boston man
that his success was not due to the large
supply of canned baked beans he took
with him. -
| ~ =,
A kitten in Louisville, KY, has seven
heads, seven tails and twenty-eight
legs. Its mother may, while in freak
ish mood, have punched the whole litter
into one kitten. or the man who reported
the discovery may be liable to see worse
things if he doesn't ring off.
We learn from a New York paper
that many churches in the fashionable
districts of that city and Brooklyn bear
the sign: "Closed for the Summer.
It must be relief to our gracious
Master above to have a respite from
listening to fashionable prayers during
the heated term.
as. -. ....
Senator Stone, of Missouri, while ad-
dressing convention of dairymen, said
he used to milk cows, and that he liked
buttermilk so we'll he had cut off his
mustache in order that he might drink
it more freely. That is allpolitical rot!
If he were called upon to address a
brewers convention he would no doubt
switch the shaving episode to fit the
occasion. ft-...
''Tell us that advertising doesn't pay
and we'll chuck the lie back into your
teeth, "says the Cheyenne Leader. Why
we know: a:girl who spent, II cents in
advertising for husband. She got the
man. within three days after putting in
the first ad., married him in another day:
and inside of ten days the fellow up and
died and left her 5000 insurance. A
clear gain of 81, ss9 in two weeks isn't
20 worse.
On the last great day, while the
echoes Of Gabriel's trumpet are pene-
trating the uttermost ends Of the earth
q French shade may arise from the
tomb to which the alleged bones Of the
late John Paul Jones were transplanted,
rub its shadowy eyes in astonishment,
gaze around in q bewildered manner
and exclaim: sacre mile noms de-.
tonnerre! Comment suis je ici?" Which
Interpreted means: Gee whiz! Where
am and how did get here?"