The Saint Paul globe., 1905-01-25
ONE SOWING DISCORD
is NOT REAL FRIEND
Woman Who Repeats UnpIeas-
ant Remarks Under Guise
of Doing Good

A woman recently told the writer
that she had been much surprised and
chagrined to hear that some one she
had supposed was friend, was not,
according to another friend 60 who had
told her to beware of this particular
woman. Then recently another woman
was feeling quite hurt because some
one had repeated to her unpleasant
things said of her. Now that women
can do these things under the guise of
friendship almost passes belief, and yet
they are done frequently. To be quite
honest, it should be said that they are
not always done viciouSly nor with the
intention of making trouble. For,
strange as it may seem, there are few
mistaken souls who go through the
world with the idea that being a friend
means speaking their minds on every
occasion, whether it hurts or helps. II
they see some woman appear friendly
with another whom they know has
talked about her, they are convinced
their duty is to go to the woman and
warn her of what they cali the insin-
cerity of the supposed friend. Now if
any good resulting from this sort of
thing could be pointed out, there might
be some excuse for it, but if it is on
record it is unknown to this depart
ment. Much discomfort, a broken
faith, a general loosening of the bonds
of friendship all round and seeds of
discord sown are the consequences
most always.
Perhaps in one way it might be well
for US to know what unpleasant things
are said of us, but in another sense it
Is anything but beneficial and fills our
minds with doubt of everybody. None
of us escapes comment; there are those,
friends or enemies, who wonder why
we did this, or did not do that, and
this sort of criticism we have to ex-
pect and should remember that we are
always dealing it out to others. But
when a person repeats to you an un-
pleasant thing said of you by sup
posed friend, the act of repeating that
remark is worse than making it in the
first place. The woman who does it
lowers herself and lowers you. The one
who habitually repeats to a woman
what is said of her is not a desirable
friend and should be cut from the list
of ones acquaintances.
1t is in these things that we are all
like grown UP children. You can see
Mary take Nellie into corner and tell
her that Grace said she was horrid
thinga and we laugh and think how
childish and silly it is. But when Mrs.
G. goes to Mrs. d. and tells her that
Mrs G. is talking about her and is not
friendly, should like to know how the
affair in dignity differs from the tragic
falling out of Mary and Grace. 1t is the
same thing exactly.
Nothing hurts like the knowledge of
the disloyalty of a friend. We learn it
soon enough ourselves without having
it forced upon us by some one who
may not altogether regret it. 1t was
once said that the misfortunes of our
friends do not fill us with unalloyed
grief, but the one who said it must
have been a cynic.
For to real friendship the grief or joy
of ones friend is ones own in all sim
cerity, and there are indeed those who
are better able to bear their own mis-
fortunes than those coming to others
dear to them. But this is a glorious
sort Of friendship and has nothing in
common with the kind which repeats
unpleasant things and sows discord.
Fortunately there is good deal of the
right kind in the world.