davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-09
HI cRANRY's SAD MIsHAP.
Train of Misfortunes Followed Con
nection NTH EIY Raper


Hi Cranky met with what you would
naturally call an accident in the P. o.
the other ev'g. There has been
great many fies in the P. o. of late
and at last Postmaster Higgins pur
chased a sheet of fypaper and placed
it on a box and set it just inside the
P. O. door to catch the flies coming
in or going out, just as they preferred
1t was about dusk when Hi entered
the P. o. for his mail, and being as
he can't see very well anyhow and be
ing also tired, he sat down on the box
to rest and when he got up the fly
paper stuck to him and Hi went down
to Hen Weatherby's store without
knowing that it was fast to him, and
when the boys in the store saw it they
hollered and yelled and when Hi
found out he grabbed the sheet of fly
paper and pulled it off and then it
stuck to his hands and he would pull
it off of one hand with the other and it
would stick to the other hand and then
he would pull it off with the other
hand and it would stick to the hand
he pulled it off with and Hi got mad
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-09
Kept Cutting the Dirt Off

The members of the family were
camping out south of town for the day
and little George had been assigned
the work of peeling the potatoes for
dinner. After laboring for half an
hour he hunted up his mother
Mom," he said, 81 gotta have some
more potatoes"
why, gave you enough for two
families like ours she replied in sur
price What did you do with them ?''
Il forgot to wash my hands," said
George, IAN by the time I got all the
direct cut off the potatoes they was too
small to eat throwed 'em away
Kansas City Times.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-09

MS you thought me- so I accepted a
long standing invitation from Mrs.
Mordaunt in order to tell you this"
wait" she cried, her face REDEEM
ing painfully, Il am the imposter, At
dinner that day, after you had gone,
I made a casual remark concerning
you which disclosed my error and de-
lighted your sister and the colonel.
who told me all about you. They
promised me not to mention the mat.
ter to you, however. l thought TIC
heap Goals of fire on your head by
sending you the gift of books and sc
force you to Tess up"
"This makes US event" he laughed.
land we can now renew our acquaint
ance on the right basis. 1 shall kee;
your gift of charity, however"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-09
Died of improvements.

The following is told of patient, Il
German woman, who, taken seriously
i'll, was sent to the hospital.
In the evening her husband inquired
how she was getting along and was
told that she was improving.
This went on for some time, each
day the report being that his wife was
improving.
Finally one night when he called
he was told that his wife was dead.
Seeing the doctor, he went up to him
and said: 'tVell. doctor, vat did she
die of-improvements?" = Harper's
Weekly.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-09
0D~ o1.6A0 Eazaea1eJ Fdkher

back, in clear weather, even Helvellyn.
seen across thirty miles of variable
sea, the lights of st. Bees Head and
Whitehaven marking the opposite line
of coast, and alluring the imaginative,
impulsive, daring boy out upon a
wider world
Around his birthplace now other
memories of genius linger- Burns was
a visitor at Arbigland, where he met
Mrs Basil Montague When at the
chisel Whereabouts Allan Cunningham
discovered his Lass of Preston Mill"
Carlyle, who was familiar with the pic
turesque Solway shore. and had per-
feet insight of Pauis environment in
childhood describes with characters
tic pathos the imputed backward look
of the hero during his embittered last
years in Paris Not now, poor Paul,
thou looIest wistful over the Solway
brine, by the foot of native CriffeI,
into the blue mountainous Cumber-
land. into the blue infinitude; environ
ed with thrift, with humble friendli-
ness; myself, young fool longing TO be
aloft from it, or even away from it,
The cottage where the Paul family
lived is at present occupied by George
Faulkner. gamekeeper. Near by is the
grave of the hero's father. which
bears the following inscription.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-09
FROM OUTSIDE THE PALE.
Sections Reason for Not Seating
STRANGERS in Church.


Bishop Potter had been telling the
Sunday school convention some of the
things the Cathedral of st. John the
Divine is going to be when it is fin
ished. 81 hope to give no offense to
my brother clergy he said, ''if l say
that it is going to be the church in
New York where a stranger can find
a place."
Then he told this story:
when 1 was rector of Grace church
1 noticed one Sunday a group of four
or five strangers who stood at the door
half through the service, although
there were empty seats in the pews
After service 1 called my sexton to me.
Brown was an interesting and pic
turesque, but, regret to say, profane
parsonage.
" Brown I said, severely, no one
is to be left standing while there is
vacant seat in the church. l saw four
or five persons standing this morning
right through morning prayer.
YES replied Brown, but they
came from New Jersey. New York
Times.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-09
5Hrozo7dce or John PAU .1o7es n Hs3lalo>z0

dition Scottish gardeners are noted
for Intelligence, and this John Paul
was one of the best. His artistry IN
landscape gardening and arboriculture
is still in evidence at Arbigland-
John Paul, the younger, was just
leaving school in 1859, when "a blast
O. Janwar win blew hansel IN on
Robin" In Paul Jones, as in Burns.
the CeIt and the Iowlander were mix
ed Burns father was of Highland
descent but it was the mother OF
Paul Jones who gave him his pug
nacity and pride, his astounding in
trepidity, his unquenchable fire of en-
durance His father had married one
Jean Macduff. daughter of farmer
from Argyllshire,- settled in the neigh
boring parish of New Abbey
Fit cradle for this naval hero was
Arbigland-a romantic solitude. luxu-
RANT in vegetation, swept by the Sol
ways breezes. with the Criffel range
of hills behind, and Skiddaw. Saddle
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-09

Ignorance has represented John
Paul Jones in the guise of Scots
man who turned traitor for gain,
whereas he was an American cOlonist
who fought for his country" says an
English writer. HE was no more of
a traitor than Washington, or the
rebel farmers of Lexington, albeit it
fell to him to invade the coasts of
Britain, and harass our shipping at
sea, instead of fighting on land in New
England. EmersOn's hymn, sung at
the unwilling Of the Concord monu-
ment to the embattled farmers" who,
in 1775. fired the shot heard round
the world" settled the problem for
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-09
q 8QJQ0V8 5|]i7pAa
5yAxz[E HIZEE
BY AxZZE ZZz1zzzzzE


Wayne Wfnslow had a decided aver
sion to seeing the localities" of a
strange city, and always declined en-
phatically to Ego through" any insti-
tuition by way of sight seeing. There
fore, it was with rather an i'll grace
that she was accompanying her father.
who was bound on tour of inspection
to the Soldiers Home, having been re-
Gently appointed on the board of trus-
tees.
The winsome young girl looked very
pretty. if petulant, as she came into
the office of the commandant of the
Home. There were some books and
papers her father wanted to examine
first of all.
This will be very uninteresting for
you," suggested the commandant to
Mayme. would you not like to go
through the grounds and see the gar
dens?"
Mayme acquiesced quite readily.
Il will get you an escort he said,
leaving the room. When he returned
he was accompanied by young man
Miss Winslow let me introduce
Lieut. Loranger- He will be pleased
to show you about
Wayne glanced up, expecting to see
some grizzled veteran. A flush of sur
prise suffused her face as she beheld
a tall, stalwart youth of fine COM
mand and appearance. AS she walked
beside him down the winding drive
way leading to the gardens, she sus-
tanned her part of light conversation.
but she wondered the while what he
Vas doing in this institution.
81 supposed" she ruminated, chat
all the inmates were soldiers of the
civil war, too old or too incapacitated
to work. l never thought of the Span
ish-American war soldiers, but of
course they could come, but 1 didn't
think they were in service long
enough to get disabled. 1 should think
he would be ashamed to loaf around
a Home when he is young and active.
Maybe he was wounded"
In pursuance of this train of
thought, she said. aloud:
Il suppose you we're in Cuba, Lieut..
Loranger?"
Yes. and later in the Philippines. 1
have recently come from there
Were you wounded?''
NO." he said, smiling. 'Y was in
numerous engagements, but couldn' t
get hit
Were you II" she persisted.
Yes, mad feyer IN Manila.
"That accounts for it, she thought.
''Ill bet he gets 81 pension, too.
do you know" she continued aloud,
81 had forgotten about any of the
young soldiers being here. 1 thought
1t was just a home for old men-civil
war soldiers, you know"
A slight flush came into his face.
There are a few of the Spanish
American war soldiers here he said.
"Of course none of US would be here
from choice"
Quickly Mayme's slight contempt
turned to warm pity.
mo, l am sure of that she said
sympathetica1ly, and then she tact
fully turned the subject
When she reached the rose garden
he babe her pick any flowers she
chose.
.'Oh. are you allowed to pick them p
she asked in surprise.
1.-The colonel would expect me to
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-09

GOOD of the correct attitude on both
sides, toward the actors in that old
drama of liberation
The foe long since in silence slept:
Alike the conqueror silent sleeps
John Paul, for it was only later he
took the name Jones, was the young
est child of the humble gardener to
the Hon r. Craik of Arbigland. in the
.arish of kirkbean, Kirkcudbright-
shire, Scotland. Born there on July
:. 1141. in n very small cottage, stu
.fcd twelve miles distant from Dunn
..ries, toward Galloway in the west. In
he shelter of Il wood, and but few
saces from the rocks that throw
old, gray fringe upon Solway's feet
aud long withdrawing tides. he was
the youngest BARN in a family OF sew
en-, four of whom appear in the story
of Paul's vicissitudes- The gardener
.ad migrated thither from ,Leitn,
xhere his father had kept market
garden Wits an inn attached BY ira
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-09

and swore because he couldn't seem
to get rid of the fypaper, and so he
stepped on it with one foot and pulled
it from his hands and then it stuck to
the sole of his boot and he went out
side of the store and got it off on a
foot scraper at last. P. M. Higgins
says Hi will have to pay him for that
sheet of fypaper or he cannot get his
mail at the P. O. in the future. Hi
says he will walk to the Co. seat after
his mail before he will pay for the
sheet of fypaper.-"Bingville Bugle"
items in the Boston Post.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-09
Enlisted

1 once lived in valley
Where the flags of gain were furled,
And far beyond it's borders
Throbbed the drum-beat of the world
Through many a mist of morning
1 heard the throstle call;
From many a cloud of passage
1 saw the shadows fall
One day I climbed the mountains
That round the valley ring;
No more / my castles
Or heard the thrOStle sing,
But in that mighty battle
Where many bolt is hurled,
/ heard my fellows marching
To the drum-beat of the world
Here in the crowded city,
From dawn till close of day,
Wherein each human anvil
A thousand hammers play,
NV shoulder to my fellow
The flags of gain unfurled-
1 march-O heart take couragei-
To the drum-beat of the world
Hugh ]. Hughes in Sunset Magazine.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-09

here. Would you not like to go for a
row.
Indeed, would" she replied
quickly.
In the hour that followed their con-
versation was bright and sparkling.
She found the young officer thorough
ly conversant with the ways of her
world.
''Why, 1 had no idea it was so latei''
he exclaimed, suddenly, as she looked
at her tiny watch and named the hour.
Its the luncheon hour at the Home,
or dinner, | believe they call it. We
must return at oncei"
well, l feared we had lost you
BOTH" was the colonel's laughing re-
mark, as the lieutenant and Wayne
entered. Dinner is just about to be
served"
Wayne walked into the family din
ing room, where she saw that covers
were laid for the commandant, his
wife, major connected with the in
stitution, her father and herself.
81 suppose poor Lieut. Loranger has
to eat with the other inmates in the
big dining ROOM" she thought. 81
think they might have asked him to
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-09
The Universal Belief.

They say that cleanliness is next
To godliness, forsooth
Were it reversed the maxim would
Be so much nearer truth:
For who is there of all of us.
The temperance or the wet,
The Professionals or Catholic,
The orthodox or het-.
Who wouldn't choose to dwell with one
Not yet escaped the wrath,
In preference to godly one
Who never took a bath?
William J. hampton in New York Her
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-09

pick you some, certainly" he replied.
with the quick flush recurring again
How little tact have." she
thought. Poor fellow, he evidently has
not been here long, and 1 am remind
ing him of his restrictions just as if he
were a convict"
ssYou don't seem like the typical
visitor of this institution" he observ-
ed, that is. you don't look like the
kind that wants to be shown around
the river is but short distance from
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-10
- Mr.. DE VERiY::''
Explains Some Of the Tricks Of the. Auctfoneer
and Warns the Public against Selling
Under the Hammer -ff f5nFC
wright. 49, by Central News
LCopyrght 20 p Central News and Press Exehangel

to the Green Goods game on High
Finance. An it hasn't done EN- any
harm. Now they ought to get a line on.
auctions. Periods spring up in a man s
life where he wakes up, an sees where
he's gathered a lot of things that he
don't want. In these days when men
is gatherin' everythin' they can lay
their hands on, it can't be avoided. An
when a fellow wakes up, that's the time
he's tempted to get rid of a few things
that he don't want. In these days when
men IS gatherin' eVerythin' they can
lay their hands on, it can't be avoided.
An when a fellow wakes up, that's the
time he's tempted to get rid of a few
things by auction. An that's the tiIae
he's got to be cautious The moment
the auction sale temptation flashes
across a guys mind he's in a danger
Gus condition. If he's weak. he's a
goner. He'll give way. An if he does
he's up against it. The best thing he
can do as soon as the idea flashes over
him is to go out an create some pub
lie disturbance SO he can get locked up.
Then he's got somethin' else to think
about. But whatever he does he'd bet
ter get the auction game out of his
nut one way or another. There ain
nOthin in harbOrin' S11aE thoughts. Get
EN- out of your mind right away. If
you don't, first thing you know you're
ffguTin' on how much you'd be likely
to get for this. Then you figure that
you can get so much for that You
begin to see visions of coin, an if
your eye happens to fail on the fo1as~'
bed, you're lost. You're goin' to have
that auction if it amt to do nothin
more than get rid of that foldin' bed.
You never thought of it before.
Of course at that stage there's no
savin' you You've got the fever.
Whenever a man finds out he really can
do it, there amt nothln goiu 10 stop
him. All considerations of moral re-
sponsibility is swept aside. He's just
got the one thought burnin' an siz-
zlin in his brain He can get rid Of
that bed an he's goin' to do it If he has
course you can't Blame him. The idea
of gettin rid of q foldin' bed amounts
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-10

coming a fashionable pursuit.
The pose of the Simple Life may,
however, catch the passing fancy of
society which has exhausted everything
the reverse of simple. And if the pres
ent discussion should contribute to
such a result it will have assisted. not
to hasten but to delay. the day of the
Simple Life.
Is not the solution of the whole mat
ter to be found in the two words. Con-
tent and Work? This was long ago
suggested by the dramatist Decker in
a quaint and charming song which he
wrote for the play of Patient GrisseI, -
Of which he was joint author. Thus
Art thou Door yet hast thou golden
slumbers
0 sweet Content!
Art thou rich, yet is thy mind per-
plexed2
0 Punishment
Dost thou laugh TO see how fools are
veXed
To add to golden numbers, golden
numbers
0 sweet Content!
Work apace, apaee, apace, apaee,
Honest labor bears a lovely face.
Then hey. nOnny nonnyl
If were to put to fashionable So
ciety the question Quo vadis,' the an
swer would be Nobody knows, nobody
cares"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-10

the time of Louis XIV. the Stuarts.
and the Georges. The difference is
that, whereas formerly the aristocracy
exclusively constituted society, it is to-
day with the increase of general
wealth, composed OF a. much wider
class, whose doings are constantly re-
corded by the newspaper press.
am afraid human nature has, and
always Will be the same. and to the
majority the millionaire will appeal
more than the philosopher. But we
must face facts. AS have said, 7 am
prepared to say that society is better
today than it was in the days OF I'm
perial Rome-but there is a qualifica-
ton. It is better@judged by the moral
standard and code of modern ethics.
But it is a grave question if the Stuarts
and the Georges wandered so Tar from
the paths laid out for them as We to-
day stray from the rote and rule We adj
vocate as the standard Of safety.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-10

three hundred years to gather 'em to-
gether An here is the complete
able price of-nOw what am I bldg
Then there's a deadly pause. Nobody
wants it. It's a shine, an everybody's
really on, only they don't think they're
on. 1t amt worth more than fifteen
cents. But that don't cut no figure.
''WilI any one bid S2O0?" he says.
''WiH anv one bid 500? Will any
one start it at 1902" If there amt a
jay in sight, he starts in then to open
up on 'em. 81 don't understand it, he
says. Il can't believe you've got so
little intelligence. Maybe I'd better
start in first to sell you a set of his
tory SO you can get on to the facts in
the case. Why if / had this VaWze on
Fifth avenoo I could sell it for a thou
sand dollars an not take more than
five bids at that"
If any guy starts in to laugh he'll
get sorry. George on the box catches
on in a second. Don't know what
you're laughin about" Then he
points him out to the crowd an the
fellow starts in to edge away. OF
course there's no chance for him. He's
Wedged in an he's got to stand for it.
Pass the gentleman the vawze," he
saws IAN let's see what he knows
bout it. Now. sir. do you know where
that China was made FL thought So
Do YOU know what China is of
course not. Did YOU ever see China
in your life ?--No, you never got near
er to it than Fourteenth street. did
YOU very well. then, don't laugh.
Because You don't know the history Of
this vawze don't say that people of in
telIigence don't know It. Now please
pass it to the gentleman to the right of
YOU: there, that's thank you. You'll
start it at seyenty-five, STRIP The guy
looks at it on the bottom. mods his
head, an the games on. You see,
there is really some people here that
knows the value of things when they
see EN-. An I believe there's more
than one at that-eighty. madam
Thank you-sympathy for the poor
queen makes it worth more than that"
After jugglin' en- along for a While
it's finally knocked down to some guy
at ninety-f1ve. An so it goes. You
never hear the truth, you never get
tipped off as to anythin' that's right.
There amt no more sense of what's
right in an auctioneer than there is a
broker or any other form of highway
man. An there amt no chance for
YOU gettin' anythin below what they
want to sell it at There's invariably
a gny what arranges the first bids in
case the audience is slow. and any
thin above that's easy money OF
course IN the old days it was different.
Men was allowed to sell their wives
at auction once upon time. Vow
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-10
b Sir R0beFt AHders0H.

HEN discussing such a
Hfar-reaching question as this,
~ ~ ~ treated in the present ser
ANUN les of articles-What Is
Wrong with Society Pit
seems ro me a r,ifv that one
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-10

sands a year on a hunter of new speci-
mems in virgin forests for the pride of
ownership. while thousands of Gods
creatures are living and dying in alb
ject misery? Think what a 1.-THE of the
money sQuandered in wholly selfish OBJ
jects would do for humanity, and the
happiness, far greater than his present
selfish enjoyment, it would be to the
generous donor.
Then, is Bridge playing not a form
OF gambling as bad in its consequences
as that Of the petty boOkmaker2 Is
1t not a snare to young women, mar
ried and single2 Can it be denied that
by gambling losses they frequently
place their regulations at the mercy
of unscrupulOus men? Are they not
frequently thrust into the money-lend-
er's hands? And the world knows
what that means II they cannot pay.
Is it a good sign of the standard of
modesty and deeency that ladies in So
ciety allow it to be published that So
and-sO has Just. undergone a serious
operation for appendicitis % one
scarcely sees any column of fashion
able news without such an advertise
ment.
Never mind the past; follow the pro-
gressiVe motor car inventor and strive
to improve the present, for the benefit
OF the future generation and our own.
The rem edy lies with the leaders of So
ciety. They may have a very difficult
task: but let them wake up, let moral
courage assert lJSelI. InOSe Ia leS pos
sessing so many of Gods good gifts, let
them, if they would, come out of them
selves. and teach. by example, their
sisters i'm a lower sphere of life-the
dignity of life i'll its usefulness-tO all
around them. Do not let il be sup
posed that their many donations tC
charitable Institutions or their kind
ness of heart are ignored; but let them
weigh their proportion with tina
amount spent in useless. selfish anC
harmful luxury.
Let US all keep steadily in mind the
real bearing of the question. The vasi
majority of the people of this country
and of all Countries, are either people
of moderate means or poor; and Of
these the great majority do. as a mat
ter of fact lead honest. open, simple
lives. They must The question OF
Sunday dinners in restaurants nevel
enters their minds, and they know
nothing of bridge. It is the rich, main
ly, whose withers are wrung when ths
subject is mentioned Yet it may bt
true that even among the rich man!
lead what is (for them) a simple life
life of solid English comfort. nS
doubt but mingled with benevolenc'
and uutainted by vulgar luxury or ex
trsvarance. Live within your incoml
las SO admire bly, inculcated by Nj
ber-that is the highway of th'
Simple Life. To do that often de
nands disregard of conventional Gus
toms. and aften brings about that i'm
nervousness 10 ridicule which IS thl
enc thing needful.