St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1905-09-08
A Few Thorns.

| ENen tne DreWlnS Deef VIII not
work on labor day.
And now Portland has a split in
her council, too. Let 'em all come.
Better buy umbrellas very soon.
Soon II will be time for merchants
to put them up.
The sale of tobacco to minors is
grave offense. So is dying "a
grave ofense" se"-except at sea.
Ad in Oregonian: "Girl wants
either cooking or washing" Pos
sibly a little of both wouldn't hurt
her.
The Literary Digest has a list of
plants that give light" The
electric light plant is not OH the
roster.
And now the Kaiser is to 20 to
the bottom Of the sea in a sub
marine. Me und Go,t' ought to
be safe.
New York has the only idol fac
tory in America-and yet, strange
to say, nearly every state has
several idle factories
II seems almost beyond belief but
Il is stated as a fact that the Port.
land ball team won a game last
Friday Strange, II true.
Sewing and cooking are to be
taught in Portland's public schools.
Possibly gum.chewing and flir,a.
ton codes will soon be on the list.
And now Taggart declares that
he is still in love with his wife. So
are lot OF other fellows but Tag.
gart always has been "a amoosin'
little cussr
Because q man leaped from a
steamer at Seattle last Saturday Il
was asserted that he was insane.
Possibly he had seen the chinks in |
the Kitchen
Liquid Sunshine" is now curing
those having a cancerous growth. |
You can't buy IL here-unless YOU
go across the river-and YOU are
liable TO get worse.
The Irish are proud of Nebraska
at the Portland fair. And why not
With a Mickey for governor and
not an anarchist in the state what
better can be askedl
Widows are slicker'n a creased
pan. One has just caught Marshall
Field and his three hundred million
dollars. And when he dies he
won I take a cent with him!
When her ex.sweetheart was
'eine married disappointed woman
n New York city threw red pepper
u his eyes, This is not the first
ime woman has tried to blind a
over.
The Rose City" turned into a
Dark City" Saturday evening
When all the lights were turned off
y a burnt-out switchboard. The 4
Iarkness was great help. how
yer, to several classes of citizens. I,
When YOU see a wedding report q
I the home OF the bride where il
ays Wedding Bells Rang" YOU
nay wager a pound of rice against
he brides charming gown that the
MY bell that rang was the front
oor bell :
A fellow who was watching
'acoma grow invested in one of
hose get-rich-quick schemes: and I
he courts have just ordered that
c get his money back. That
citing rich quickern he expected, I
robably. J
Scientists are now questioning as (
whether OF not horses NAV be
sed as food for human beings with
ut bad effects. It's two to one
nat the effects wouldn't be any :,
'orse than those felt from a chunk u
bull-beef cut OFF the neck. l.
A New York woman who married "
'ur times when her previous hus. h
ands were floating around alive v
'ys II Was either a case OF starving 3
nj bigamy and she likes higamv II
le better. Possibly it's the better n
the two-we never tried bigamy.
Last Sunday night a woman
'eacher in Portland spoke from a
NJ somewhere in Luke, where il
ks II the body is not worth more
an raimentH Her talk was all
her raiment didn't agree
nh her text or else her body was
artully high priced. A handsome
lmOnl min held hsr .>nllar a.,