Rogue River courier. (Grants Pass, Or.) 1886-1927, 1905-12-08
"A PROMOTION COMES
TO COL. SCHNEIDER
Does the Hero Act and Goes TO
the Front as Did
Funston.

Katrina" salt Schnsider "for der
last foofty ears vas callit voost com
mon oldt Yawcup Schneider. unit
vas oxtremelx tiret uf i'd alreadty.
Now / haf some plans under foot vich
will knock der stuffins init ouid uf dot
name init in a hurry, unit instet |
shall be Colonel Schneider NIT ouid a
doubt.
From mine experiment." salt Ks-
trina, "more as ninety mine from one
hoontret uf des coloDels unit captains
unit machers vas not two cent wort. "
II dink me there vas difference be.
tween a captain uf der vishings meek
on der hnut for craps INT shrimp unt
Col. Schneider of der Unitet Staats
army uf vich vas alreadty.
81 shall enlistment in der army
unit l vent to der Phillipeanuts is
lands, unit hunt CUP der commando
ing cheneral unit found out der name
uf der rebel cbeneral vich vas hiding
in der brush avayouid, unit uf vich
eferybody vas afraidt, unit toldt der
officer to CUFF me twelve big dutch
men unit If he vas not too big piece
away would go ouid mt bring dot
rebel III det or alife. He salt Egg
sectly yes' NIT doubts Unit got
some sailors oldt suits, unit We march
ouid on der Ella twostsp for der camp
uf der aforeset rebel by der dozen NIT
Yawcup Schneider in commando.
"Ven ve got NIT in reach uf der
cheneral We camp, unit / guf der orders
dot der dutchman pot on der sailors
oldt suits unit wait, unit dot We eat
holdings for vun week ven put on
mine efery day clothes unit nit big
bamboo cane l limp down into der
camp uf dot oldt rebel cheneral, ven
he saw me for der fairst time he crap.
ped der big shitherao init on der end
uf witch vas der big long banggnet
unt he vent after me NIT on his two
legs, yoost chobbing me NIT der bang
net sex-eight-oouple dozen times, unit
moct some button holes init in mine
beer basket vich dond dink dot vas
right, unit he yell NIT vehemently
who goes dare, unit drop mine cane,
unit tremble in mine boots, unit forget
1 der whole combinations, unit then
| salt for him NIT tears in mine eyes
poor oldt Yawcup Schneider vioh vas
yoost shipwrecked on der ocean unit
vas hungry Des oldt rebel looked
at me long time unit then lait down
der oldt fusee nit der long bangnet
uut guf me some nick nacks to eat
such as bacon unit beans vich he steals
from der vites unit could not eat.
Now / succhest to der oldt reble dot
We 20 unit get der twelf big sailors.
"Ve all lay aroundt for weeks unit eat
der goot dings uf dot safage het hun
ter unit watch. Vun day he salt for
me veil der grub vas getting short
unit tomorrow / shall sent eery man
aVya to get more to eat, unit ven they
come back | CUFF you INT der sal
some dings for der Winter Like dot.
IL immejetly vent to mine camp unit
| wink der other eye, unit l salt for
der big dutchmen now is der time.
Der next day ven der soldiers vas
more as fnif milesa way l CUFF der
oommandt NIT loudly Go for him
Dutchmen' unit We sharged him by der
dozen nit his own guns unit ven he
don't will surrender We put him in
irons, unit We delifre him to der com
mandting cheneral at Manila.
DER commander salt for me- veil done,
| shall wireless to oheneral Funsent
unt say for him dot Private YawcuI
Schneider uf company unit vechmeni
so unit so haf yoost performanced deV
great feat uf bravery at der peril uf
his life insurance policies dot he hal
yoost oaptivated der last uf der dan
gerous rebel chenerals unit broke OuI
der var, der feat he stat vas der ex'
traonery one.
"Cheneral Funsent virelessed i'm
mejetly You shall moot der Colonel
uf Private Schneider; guf him deI
uniforms, unit double der salary vich
1t shall be one hoontret NIT fooftcy
to Ter derr mont; guf him der furlonp
home On mine way home | met
Cheneral Funset by der exident in del
Golden Cat, ON der deck uf der tuck
Fearless for der fairst time, he
saloot, shake handts unit | salt Chen
eral Funsent' unit he salt Colonel
schneider unit We lock arms ont strut
me aroundt der deck uf der Fearless
der atmirationed .uf der whole itout.
Des vas der happiest day uf mine life,
Now | 90 mo home mt expense
efery cent uf der hoontret unit foottoy
toller for der uniforms uut mic nack'
for der Colonel, unit NIT seNteen cent
uf id | buy iixy foxies for Katrina,
"Oh yaw" salt Katrina, "Nou vas
der goot chentleman ven you va
asleep; yod dinks you oCmes into
hoafen alreadty, yet.
Col. Schneider.