The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1905-04-28

Edna-What did DR.. Dix mean when
he spoke of that vast waste of hui
manity?" Maud-Bachelors of course,
dear. Life.
81 don't see how Skemer gets along"
"Why?" "Why, he doesn't work
much" mo, not much, but many. -
Philadelphia Ledger.
Sha-I wonder why SO few men are
regular churchgoers? He-I don't
know, unless it's because there is no
law prohibiting it.-Chicago Daily
News.
Josher-I noticed you had on your
three-ninety-eight rain coat in yester-
days storm. Do you still think it
great bargain? Buncode-No; | got
soaked.-Judge.
Gladys-Miss Oletimer has been
praying for a man for years and now
she's got Percy Fitznoodle. Tom
Oh, well-she won't know the cSfer-
ence, perhaps.-Puck.
Mrs. Mark Etting-What are your
chickens worth today? New Boy-l
don't dare tell We, ma'am. The boss SEE
l must only tell what we're sellin' 'em
or.-Philadelphia Ledger.
"You must never borrow trouble"
said the ready-made philosopher. Il
didn't answered the proprietor of
new automobile. Il bought mine
outright. Washington Star.
Woman at the Door-Here, take this
cake and give it to your friends. Tramp
Madam, | knows dat has worked
graft durin me time, but | can't stoop
to murder.-Washingto Life.
Henrietta-Do you think Dolly Per-
kins is prettier than l? Henry-Of
course do; but I wouldn't tell you SO
for worlds. Henrietta-Henry you are
a darling !-Boston Transcript.
The Parson-Have you ever given
any time to studying the social pro-
blem? The layman-No, but my wife
has. She occasionally gives dinner
party in our Harlem at.-Brooklyn
Life.
Little Willie-I say, pa, what is an
empty title? Pam empty title, my
son, is your mothers way of referring
to me as the head of the house when
there are visitors present.-GlasgoW
Evening Times.
Beggar-God bless you, my Lord,
you and have been in all the prisons
in London. Lord Tofman-What do
you mean? Beggar-That is true, my
Lord, and have been in all the rest
Glasgow Evening Times.
Miss Fancier-A pure-blooded ter
rier like Buttons is about as costly
dog as there is, Jack. Her Escort
No, there is one that is much more ex-
pensive; the Wall Street Pointer that
a friend gives you.-Puck.
Mike" said Flooding Pete, we're
gittin' left agin." whats the matter?'
asked Meandering Mike. We'll, II
desc railroads gives rebates to de peo-
pie dat pays, us fellers dat rides free
ought to have a bonus. "-Washington
Star.
Shell hope you'll like the birthday
cigars l gave you, dear. You'll be glad
to know, anyway, that l paid cash for
them; they weren't charged. He
Really? | thought they were, but
didn't know what with.-Philadelp
Ledger.
would you like piece of my LOAF
cake?" asked the kind lady. "Ef dc
ingredients tickles me palate like de
name tickles me ears" answered the
hungry hobo, 81 amt goin' ter be sat
isfied with one piece, ma'am. Chic
ago Daily News.
Mr. Newleetied-What did you do
with that $50 I gave you yesterday?
Mrs. Newleetied-Why spent part OF
II for a birthday present for you, and
the rest | put into this hat. Isn't 1t
a beauty for only Twenty-Five ninety
five, dear?-Judge.
Bridget, didn't l hear you quarrel
ling with the milkman this mornings?
Sure not. His hiur'd gyurl's sick, an
7 was inquiring after her. But he's an
onpolite man. "Hows that?" Says l.
.How's your milk-maid?' An he looked
mad. an says, That's thrade Sc
cret!' cleveland Leader.
Gifted Amateur concluding pet card
trick)-Now, ladies and gentlemen, yon
have seen the pack of cards burned
before your eyes, and the ashes placed
inside the box, which mysteriously
transformed itself into a rabbit, which.
in turn, disappeared into space. will
now ask this gentleman to name thu
card he selected, when it will at once
appear in my hand. Now, sir, what
card did you select frog, the pack!
Giles (who has been following the
trick most intently) If recol-
lect!-Punch.