davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-05-27
thamberlain's Cough. Remedy tn
Very Best.

81 have been using Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy and want to say ID is
the best cough medicine I have ever
TAKEN" says Geo. L. Chubb, a mer-
chant of Harlan, Mich. There is no
question about its being the best, as il
will cure cough or cold in less time than
any other treatment. 1t should always
be kept in the house ready for instant
use, for cold can be cured in much less
time when promptly treated. For sale
by w. j. Sedberry.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-05-27

Ordinary household accidents have no
terrors when there's a bottle of DIR.
Thomas Electric, Oil in the medicine
chest. Heals burns, cuts. bruises, sprais.
Instant relief. For aale by The j. +.
Crow Drug Co.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-05-27
To Cure a Cold In One Day.

Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tab
let's. All druggists refund the money if
it fails to cure. e. w. Groves sigma
ture is on each box. 25c.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-05-27

Terrible plaques. those itching, pest
ering diseases of the skin, Put an end
to misery. Doan's Ointment cures.
At any drug store. For sale by The j.
+. Crow Drug Co.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-05-27

Under the new law which goes
into effect July Is, cold storages
will practically have to go out of
business.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-05-27

If the average man had his just
deserts the sheriff's boarding house
would be overcrowded.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-05-27

While a bilious attack is decidedly
unpleasant it is quickly over when
Chamberlain's Stomach and Liver Tab
lets are used. For sale by w. j. Sed-
berry.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-05-27

Grain, rain, go away.
'Tis not April; this is May"
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-05-27
OVer-Work WeakenS
Your Kidneys.
Unhealthy Kidneys Make Impure Blood.

All the blood in your body passes through
your kidneys once every three minutes.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-05-27
POINTED ARROWS.

Almost all lying is rooted in moral
cowardice.
The resolutions of to-day often meet
their Waterloo in the temptations of
tomorrow.
The American Lawyer says that sew
enty-fve per cent of al crimes are due
to the use of Intoxicating liquors.
Many people are ready to lay down
their lives for their friends who are not
willing to give up some bad habit for
their comfort.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-05-27

kinney UOuDle.
Kidney trouble causes quick or unsteady
heart beats. and makes one feel as though
they had heart trouble, because the heart is
over-working in pumping thick, kidney
poisoned blood through veins and arteries.
1t used to be considered that only urinary
troubles were to be traced to the kidneys.
but now modern science proves that nearly
all constitutional diseases have their begin
ming in kidney trouble.
If you are sick you can make no mistake
by first doctoring your kidneys. The mild
and the extraordinary effect Of DR.. Kilmer's
Swamp-Root, the great kidney remedy is
soon realized. 1t stands the highest for It's
wonderful cures of the most distressing cases
and is sold on its merits f.kr-
by all druggists in fifty
cent and onedolar siz II
ss. You may have w Lslaasssfllsss9o
sample bottle by mail Home of swampRoot.
Tree, also pamphlet telling you how to find
out If you have kidney or bladder trouble.
Mention this paper when writing Or. Kilmer
& Co., Binghamton, N. Y.
Don't make any mistake, but remein-
Der the name, Swamp-Roo DIR. Kill
mer's Swmap-Root, and the address
Binghamton, N. Y, on every bottle.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-05-27
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.
{ ". c. I. j. COLUMN. }
q Edited BY MRS. II. A. BENEFIELD. e

The w G T. U. will meet at
the home of Mrs. w, e Singleton
Thursday June LIST at $50 p. m.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
Let His Rents Get Behind.

The late Governor Marcus A. Nor
ton, whose old home in Taunton is
now the Morton hospital. says the Bos-
ton Herald. was as careless in his
dress as he was punctual in collecting
his rents. 1t was no uncommon sight
to see him walking the streets without
stockings, the eXpanSe between the
bottom of his trouser legs and his
shoes revealing that fact to the public.
One day as the governor passed
down the street a f1utter of white be-
meath his coat-tails gave mute testi-
mony of the need of repairs in which
his trousers stood. In a group of i'd
lers was wag who was also one OF
the governors tenants.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16

The excavations of Prof. Human
which brought to light the grandeur
of the residences of the old Attalites
in Greece came to a close in 1886, says
the New York Herald. No further
work was done for some years, but in
the autumn of 1900 excavations in the
historical ground covering the ancient
city of Pergamus were resumed This
new enterprise was begun in the hope
that the previous find of a Grecian res
ldence might bring about enough dis
coveries to restore an ancient Grecian
city Since 1900 the work has pro-
crossed yearly under the direction of
Prof. Dorpfeld, secretary of the Ger
man Archaeological Institute in
Athens. Prof. Dorpfeld has been as
sisted in his work by DR.. Altman.
Buildings have been erected on the
spot for the housing of the workmen
and everything necessary for the con-
tinuation of the work has been placed
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16

which was undoubtedly mounted on a
pedestal, and when found was in three
pieces. These pieces, put together,
make a complete bust Below the
bust is the inscription: Learn that
this is Hermes, by the great Aka
menes, standing at the gates of Perga-
mus
Another important find was the
statue of a Greek water carrier. 1t de-
picts the face of a beautiful Grecian
girl. The small, sharp eyes, the well
defined contour and the smiling mouth
are characteristic of this period of
Grecian life.
Work is now progressing on the
southern portion of the temple, and
Prof. Dorpfeld has hopes that this year
his excavations will result in restor-
ing almost completely the long buried
city of Pergamus, which has figured
so prominently in the ancient history
of Troy.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
ga eRQ CUT OF - rcaff9SI I o Sd F Fr iha

at the disposal of Prof. Dorpfeld.
Prof. Dorpfeld went to work on the
southwest, or untouched, portion,
where Prof. Human had left off, in
Guiding three large terraces, of the
Temple of Learning, as well as large
ancient tower which adjoined it. This
tower contained a winding staircase,
the greater part of which is still well
preserved. With the discovery of the
three terraces was also unearthed a
magnificent hall of columns dating
from the time of King Eumenes IL.
Thousands of figures in white marble
which ornamented the wall of the tenn
pie have also been unearthed. A study
of the inscriptions on these fragments
suggests that the walls of the temple
were used for cataloguing purposes.
The most important find was the
head of Hermes by Alkamenes, which
has been sent to the Ottoman Museum
in Constantinople. 1t is bust
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
LeftHanded Artists,

To that list of left-handed artists
may be added Mr.. F. H. Townsend,
the deft draughtsman in black and
white, who has lately become art ed
itor of Punch. But Mr.. Townsend is
one of the "semi-left-handed." And of
these there are more than you might
suppose. Many of us, on watching
ourselves, will find that on this or that
occasion we use the left hand when
the right would be expected. Mr..
Townsend draws with his left hand
but he deals cards with his right. This
writer, being in all other respects
right-handed, deals cards with the
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
Fine Observatory at Jeypore. India

center of the city, which has a popu-
1ation of about 143, 600.
In Jeypore is a famous observatory,
the largest of five built by the cele-
brated royal astronomer, Jey Sing, the
founder of Jeypore, who succeeded the
rajahs of Amber in 1893. Chosen by
Muhammed Shah to reform the calen-
dar, his astronomical observations are
formulated in tables. He built five
observatories-a Delhi, Benares, Nut
ira, Ujjian and Jeypore. The observa-
tory at Jeypore is the largest of the
five. It is not under cover, but is
an open courtyard full of curious and
fantastic instruments invented and
designed by him.
These instruments have been al
lowed to go out of repair and many
of them are now quite useless, it being
Impossible even to guess what purpose
they served in the wonderfully ac-
curate calculations and observations
of their inventor, but the dial, gno-
mons and quadrants still remain of
great interest to astronomers.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
Largest of Five Built by Ce1e-
DRAFTED Royal Astronomer in
1693-Place of Great Interest
to AntiQuarians.

Jeypore is the pleasant, healthful
capital of one of the most prosperous
independent states of Rajputana, In
dia. 1t is a busy and important COM
mercial center, with large banks and
other trading establishments. 1t is a
center of native manufactures, espec-
tally those of many kinds of jewelry
and of colored printed cloths and mus
Inns. The enamel work done there is
the best in India and the cutting and
setting of garnets and other stones
found in the state is a large BRANCH
of industry. The crowded streets and
bazaars are lively and picturesque
Jeypore is laid out in rectangular
blocks and is divided by cross streets
into six equal portions. The main
streets are Ill feet wide and are
paved and the city is lighted by gas.
The maharajah's palace occupies the
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
sPoILs OF ANCIENT EGYPT.
Oldest Piece of Sculpture in the World
Rrouuht to Liqht.

brought TO Light
Among the spoils of the last sea-
sons campaign by Professor W. M.
Flinders Petrie and his assistants of
the Egypt exploration fund is a re-
markable sculpture, probably the old
est in the world. 1t was found at
Wady Maghara, Sinai, where hitherto
the difficulties of maintaining a camp
In the desert five days journey from
SueZ had prevented any serious ex-
cavation.
The sculpture, which would proba-
bly, not be accepted by the committee
of the Royal academy for exhibition.
represents King Semerkhet of the
first dynasty shifting down Bedawi
sheik, after the manner of kings about
1900 B. c. Above that is a figure of
the general who commanded the expe-
dition. This is by no means the most
remote of the discoveries. There is,
for instance, a collection of f1ints used
for working turquoiseS out of sand
stone probably by the Bedouin in a
period about 10000 B. c. They show
several types of which the hammers,
the larger scoring flakes and the small
fakes with a point are the most dis
tinct
Among the most interesting relics
are Roman objects found at OEyr-
hynkhos by Drs. Grenfell and Hunt.
They include some specimens OF the
most beautifully colored glass, the
arm Aphrodite grasping Cupid, a lime
stone female head of remarkable type
and a large collection of bone and
ivory dice. Wherever the Roman sol
der went there are always found
these primitive gaming instruments
and they are precisely the same as
those in use to-day.
A sphinx, bearing inscriptions in an
unknown script, eXcites curiosity,
and the presence of good hierogly-
phic inscription as well on the sphinx
shows that these were not done as ig-
norant limitations of hieroglyphics,
but that it is a definite system OF
Writing.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
An Excuse.

ssSee herei" exclaimed the employ.
err You're entirely too slow when
you're out on an errand. Why don't
you move faster?"
well, I'll tell you," replied the
bright Office boy. .'Once when ouI
school gave a play 1 took the part OF
an old man, and, do you know, don't
believe 1 ever got over it,
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
Let 1t Go at That.

The heavy villain of the barn storm
ing aggregation stalked into the work
shop of the village editor
What did you. mean by referring to
me as a .misfit' in your write-up of the
performance last night?" he reared
Il meant" answered the local mold
er of opinion, that you were entirely
too great for the company yon were
with
And the heavy villain. being a
stranger to the ways of the village
editors, believed him.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
A Criticism.

Mrs. Phamley--I suppose you've
sen that new book on What To Do
Until the Doctor Comes?
DIR. Gruff-Yes, and I'd like to write
. companion book to that
Mrs. What would it be?
DIR. Gruf-Dont.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
THE ROMANCE OF a pARAsoL

A paraso1 it was ensnared
My rowing bachelor fancy,
A parasol of silk that Jared
Above the face of Nancy.
All. when met her in the lane,
Her blush the rose outlying,
"a city bell I much disdainD
straightway fell assigning
Obliging Eros sent a breeze,
Dust why since then I've wondered.)
The sunshade flew among the trees,
And after it 1 blundered.
Restored to her this talisman,
Led on in Cupid's sally,
No ballroom toasts coquettish fan,
Ere proved more potent ally
wood fair Nan beneath its shade,
won her. now We're married:
understand the game she played,
And wished that had tarried-
The bloom I once admired so.
The roses hue outlying.
So guarded from the suns rude glow,
For Mrs. Nan I'm buying.
Though parasols her charms enhance,
The bills now make me pensive,
For sweet simplicity" from France
find is quite expensive
Carol Lee in New York Herald.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
A eiIded Pill.

Suitor-Fifteen thousand doIlarsi
splendid dowry, Mr.. Isaacstein.
But you know your daughter is decid-
eddy plain
Isaacstein-veIl, den. I make it
twenty tousand-
by Jove, Twenty thousand. She's
not so bad looking, after all-but still
she's hardly beautiful"
Vat? Den make 1t twenty-five
tousand tollars!"
My dear Mr.. Isaacstein, what q
wonderful beauty doctor you arei"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
HAS GOLD MINE IRELAND.
Lies in County Donegal and Rock Rich
in Various Minerals.

in Various Minerals.
Not long ago the known globe, but
especially that part of it known as Ire
land, was thrilled that on Irish soil a
gold mine had been discovered. Moth
ing afterward was heard of it for "a
long time and many may have classed
the news along with those discoveries
of perpetual motion and instantaneous
spontation that are constantly being
made.
But now come detailed descriptions
of the mine, with the assurances that
it is an actuality. 1t lies in County
Donegal and is owned by a company
under the control of one Robert John
ston, Belfast timber merchant. The
rock is said to be rich in all sorts of
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
Thought 1t BIackmaiI.

The bibliomaniac Showing his
treasures) is book that cost
me $4,000.
The society MANICURE an easy
mark, must say.
y The bibliomaniac (warmly)-Easy?
Why, 1 was ready to pay twice that
sum for it!
The society man-Great cats!
What sort of past have you, any
ay?-Puck.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16

minerals, but richest of all in gold,
holding as much of this metal as two
ounces to the ton. This would make it
one of the richest mines in the world.
Machinery for working the ore has
been purchased and may by now have
even been installed. Work is expected
to be in full swing in a few weeks
time. And so Ireland has struck it
rich.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
They Were pleasant. roo.

What did that gentleman mean
when he asked if your environment
was pleasant" asked the younger
sister,
"Oh, he meant the things which
were around me while 1 was in the
country" replied the older one.
well, Julia, never heard mems
arms called by that-name before
Tit-BitS.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
At the Boarding. House.

The Intelligent Boarder-Yes, we
have reached the time of year when
mind and body crave lighter susie
nance. Let us then avoid all thoughts
of things that are heavy-heavy
clothing, heavy reading. heavy food
The Landlady-Sponge cake, Mr..
Emerson?
The Intelligent Boarder-Certainly
not.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
No Place for Ladies'.

In Brussels said Mr.. Darlington.
1T is necessary for travellers by rail to
pay regular rates on every piece OF
baggage they carry
Dear me-" replied his wife, who
was getting ready to start away with
seven trunks for three weeks stay
on the coast of Maine, what a bore it
must be to have to live in that horri-
BILE country"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
Encourage Careful MOTORING.

A number of English automobilists
have formed an organization under
the title of League of Considerate Mo
florists, for the encouragement of care
full driving and consideration of the
general public. A number of NJ. P-'s
and others prominent in the profess
sfons have enrolled their names
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
Shiftinu His PRAYER Burden.

A boy of years was saying his
evening prayers. He was very sleepy,
but he started in on his customary orr
son of considerable length.
God bless me an little sister," he
said Then he yawned drowsily and
broke off abruptly with: 1.-THE rest of
them are big enough to pray for them
Selves
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
Toxic Street Railway.

The Toxic street railway company
serves population of 1 100000. In ia
pan it is known as the Toxic Shigai
Tedsudo It's capital is $500, 900.
After 1882 the city of Toxic has the
right to buy the property at its then
value.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
His Usefulness at an End.

Messenger-Mr. Spotcash, there has
been a street car accident, and Mr..
Nexti1e has had his leg cut off just be-
low the knee.
Great Merchant with emotion)-I
am truly sorry to hear it! He was
our best f1oorwalker.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
Gallant Mr.. Rraix.

Miss Erderleigh = Just think, Mr..
Braix, I am within ten years of 35!
Mr.. Braix-I can't believe it.
Miss Elderleigh-That's sweet OF
you-but it's true.
Mr. Braix-Wen, if anybody else
had told me you were As I'd have said
they were five years off anyhow.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
Iaken at Her Word.

"Put down that glass!' commanded
Mrs. Shrue, catching her husband in
the act of taking drink of whisky
IF you drink that I'll never speak to
you again as long as 1 live"
MY DEAR said he. gulping it down,
there's long life to your
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16

Poor Thing.
Nell-I wonder what Miss Passay is
doing with that translation of virgirs
Hneid- Trying to appear learned, Ell?
Belle-Oh, no! She picked it up in
book store to-day and the opening
line about farms and the man" attract
ed her.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
Ereakish.

sI saw troupe of educated seals
last night. Wonderful creatures, aren't
they?"
Eyes; but what would you think of
black bass that can sing?"
"Get out!''
Its fact. I've seen dozens of 'em
in negro minstrel shows."-Detroit
Tribune.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16

"Great horn spoons,'' he shouted, as
the governor passed, "I never knew
Governor Morton let his rents get SO
far behindi"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16

left. The real quality between the
hands would probably be established
from many xperiences.-London
Chronicle.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
All Crazy.

Citizen-What possible excuse did
you fellows have for acquitting that
murderer?
Juryman-Insanity-
Citizen-Gee, The whole twelve OF.
you.-Cleveland Leader
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
savors of the Truth.

Some of the patients here earn as
much as 500 a week." said the super
intendent of the asylum for the hope
lessly insane.
You don't say," exclaimed the as
tonished visitor sfHow do they do it?
by writing comic opera librettos,' %
explained the superintendent
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
Auto Street sweepers.

Automobile street sweeping ma
chimes are to be added to New Or
leans municipal outfit for the fight
against yellow fever
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
How 1t Impressed Him

Mrs. Whittier Lowell-In disobeying
me, Emerson, you were doing wrong,
and I am Furnishing you to impress it
upon your mindl
Emerson-Arent you mistaken,
mamma, in regard to the location of
my mind?-Life.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
The Homeless Nut.

Kind Lady-Is that your dog?
Homeless Holmes-Yes, mum; he's
me only friend.
Kind Lady-Well, why don't you
treat him better? He looks half
starved.
Homeless Holmes-Ye see, mum, ae
poor NUT has ter eat de kind of grub
folks gives me er go hungry. So he
don't eat often.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
Paste.

ct see that the women who claim to
possess valuable jewels are having
them insured against theft
Camilla La Fleur wouldn't care for
that.
Because she's an actress?''
NO
why, then
Because nobody would steal them"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
SUSPICIOUS.

Friend-Don't you want your name
on History's page?
Millionaire-What will it cost and
what will she print about me if
don't?
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
Cause and Effect.

Hix-De Short has been drinking
good deal lately 1 understand.
Dix-Yes; he's trying to drown his
grief.
Hix-Disappointed in love, Ell?
.Dix-No. His tailor refused to trust
him any longer.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
No Cause for Worry

No Cause for Worry.
s1 have a horror of being buried
alive"
who is your physician?"
DIR. Dopem.''
''Then you needn't worry. His pre-
scriptions are always fatal.-Chicago
News.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
A Blessing in Disguise.

"Say, old man, 1 have a terrible
thirst
Pardon me, my boy; thirst is
never terrible"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
Quite Apparent.

Quite Apparent
She-You know, Judge, our charac-
tiers are different, and don't want to
be in his way
He-Yes, your honor, she is pecu-
liar, and don't want to interfere
JUDGE understand. You ask for
a divorce out of pure love!
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
Am Aceommodatina Friend.

"Are you fond of music, doctor?"
Eyes, but don't let that interfere
with your singing"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
A Mean Advantaoe.

Hes about the meanest white man
I ever met"
AT any rate, he's successful. He
has taken advantage of his opportuni-
ties
tAh! His opportunities were small,
no doubt; another proof of his mean
ness
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
Barred.

do you think a rich man can enter
the gates of heaven!" asked the in
innate friend.
mo" answered Mr.. Packer. 81
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-09-16
"And why not ?''

well, I'll tell you. A rich man, as
a general rule, owns an automobile.
and there's no hope for a murderer