Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1905-09-23
~ z''s!HLES
"a IA AeE-s
ysaqmNNS&@> w
~~~~~~~~N~~

head, Molly-Well, that's something.
Exchange
What did your husband think OF
that $50 hat You bought last weekY'
ron. he just rayed over it."-Grit.
Tommy-Pop, what are hlccoughsl
Iommy's Pop-Hlccoughs, my son,
are messages from departed spirits
Philadelphia Record.
Wife-Johu, you've been drinking.
.. | can tell. Husband-Well, don't
do IT, m'dear, Let'sh keep it a family
Philadelphia Press.
Jetfreys does your brother
take married life? Esther-Accor,l.
ing to directions His mother-in-law
Is living with him.--BrooklynS Life.
Iie-But | thought you'd forgiven
me for that aud promised to forget
III She-Nes-hut didn't promise to
let you forget Ia forgiven it!-Punch.
First Insurance Magnate- What is
your favorte theatrical production?
Second Insurance Magnate-"Other
Peoples Money Baltimore Ameri-
can.
She-And do you really love me for
myself alone: He-Sure. That's why
| don't want your mother to live with
MS after we are married Somerville
Journal
Mr. Snooks-ro what, sir. do you at
tribute your success as salesman?
Mr.. SelIem-If a customer doesn't see
what he wants make him want what
he sces.-Cleveland Leader
Madgc Did Charlie propose to you
out in the auto? Dolly thought he
was going to. hat he didn't When he
got down on his knees it was only TO
crawl under the old machine. -Puck.
Can you get work for ne?" asked
the willing young man, I'm afraid
not" replied the Congressman, but |
can get You a government job, II that
/ viii help any Chicago Daily News,
Mrs Browne wonder if the new
. order Of things viii reform Mr.. Lusrh-
/ ley 10 any extent He's married, |
understand Mrs Malaprop--Yes he's
"a hcncdictine now. Philadelphia
I Press.
He-I shall work hard, oh! ever SO
+ hard, and, in year or two, Wen have
our own little home In the country,
/ She-Oh, how lovely We can rent 1t
+ and board in town, can't we, dear2--
Brooklyn Life.
Chicago used to aspire 10 he n IT.
/ enry center" Yes answered the
| New Yorker What do you consider
the best thing published there THE
time table, showing when trains
leave, Washington Star.
All" she sighed. sometimes / can
hardly convince myself that | am not
growing old" Wei" her dearest
friend replied, that's what comes OF
/ having mirrors scattered all around
the house Chicago Record Herald
He hasn't been in politics very
long, has hep mo, but how did you
known II was walking with him to
day just as police patrol wagon
dashed up behind us. and he didn't
start guiltily or look nervous at all"
/ Philadelphia Ledger,
Don't you think it Is wrong for
your husband to bet on horse racesY
said the prudent woman. 1T is very
! frequently" answered young Mrs. Tor
! kins The trouble il TINT you can't
tell when until after the race Is run.
aud then it's too late. Washington
/ Star.
! First once BOY Why did yer t'row
up yer job at Biffum 4 Bangs? Sec
ond Office Boy-Why couldn't stand
old Bangs impudence He had de
crust ter tell me, right ter me face and
( before de hull Office, ter git out Nv de
place and never come back, Dat wuz
de last straw!-Life.
The Doctor have just returned
/ from Il weeks shooting trip up north.
The Druggist Kin anything? The
Doctor-No; not It thing. The Drug
I gist-Iluh! You could have done bet
ter than that by staying at home and
attending to your regular business
! Chicago Daily News,
Il suspect" said Mrs Oldcasuc,
that our new minister IL n transcen-
dcntallst." oh" replied her hostess,
ns she careIessy tossed her rope OF
pearls over the back OF the chair, do
you think 80? My, I'd hate to be
one Of them / should think they'd
fell downstairs or something gettin'
VI and prowlin' around that way in
their sleep Chicago Record Herald
Il never do things by halves" re-
marked Binkins, and the waiter nj his
elbow put on an eXpectant grin. He
had only expected fifty tip
maybe the gentleman would give him
more. AS | was saying said BIN
kins. pushing back his chair and ac-
cepting his hat II never do things by
Ind a