The Washington times., 1905-07-23


door busts open an a long guy with a
cornsilk mustache lopes In. When he
had dashed the mud out'n his eyes and
the rain off his hat he looks around an
says:
excuse me. but where in thunder
am I?''
That was breezy enough, an we
breezed right baclI:
You're in the Alfalfa House bar
rcom an the bar is plumb dead ahead"
That seemed TO hit him were he lived.
and he orders a round. Then he says:
You'll all excuse my seemin' dunn
focIness. but I'm very much s'prised.
an I amt got over It yet I hadn't
thought I was within a million miles of
anything Wen the lights o this town
hove in sight in front. an I had to slow
up an git off to inquire the way. wot
IS thts-Jupiter?"
Nav" says old man whitehouse,
who was behind the bar. This is AL
falfa.'
THAT don't mean nothfn' to me. :.
says he, tossin' off some booze, while
we opened our eyes at his ignorance
''1Vot kentry. world, State, principality.
hemisphere, continent, or universe am
I in? That's wot I want to know"
You're in Kansas then says Pinch,
The feller shook his head. with no
light o recognizing in his eyes. Gee!
This was peculiar
Never Heard of Kansas?
You don't mean to say you never
heard o Kansas says Pinch. THE
land o wheat an women, girls an
srasshoppers. prairies an politics an
booze an baseball"
At that the stranger jumps out an
sings out his hand.
Put it thereH says he. ANY one
who en- play ball has heard o. PIeiades
PeterIlin. of Plantvtlle. the champion
batter of the Marsian League"
Then if was our turn to look su' prised
and blank.
Never heard O no such league. nor
nc such town. nor no such feHer," says
Pinch But if you play ball anywhere
an pose as a hitter you sure must heard
o Home Run Haggerty, o the Corn
droppers' League"
Say. Them words just electrified that
feiler.
"HaggertyI' he shouted THE Corn
! droppers' League!" And with that he
pulls a ball with a fiat side to it out
OF his pocket.
Now" says he, I'll explain. 1 justs
jest got in on my outowindile firm Mars.
W'ether I'm in Jupiter, Saturn, the moon
or the earth, I dunno; but this here ball
1 fell iato our grounds vile ago, an
/ I'm here to git the man that hit it an
take him back to the Marsian League
/ an glory
( An then he showed Us, writ on the
/ ball In Josh Hapgood's well known
writin':
This ball was hit by Home Run Hag-
gerty. of the Corndro.ppers' League. Re
turn to Josh Hapgood. manager"
Josh had saved lots o balls that I had
+ knocked out o sight in that way.
Picked Up in Mars.
Say! I was surprised myself when
this felIer PIeiades Peterkin told US
that that ball had been picked up in
Mars. an the other fellers was simply
aghast. Josh Hapgood wasn't there, or
he'd written poem about it on the
spot, but Merritt had wind enough left
TO pipe out:
That was that homer that beat the
Burdocks the other day." says he. "GiI
Weston swore that 1t went into the
clouds, an he had a good look off the
! top o the fence in deep center"
NO! MOI" says Peter Brown. That
must a been that horrible smash that
went into that black cloud over left
field and brought the rain last Tuesday
week-the first game o the season
Remembered stopped the game in the
sixth innin'?"
u think you're III wrong" says Tar
Paper Hennessy. "Remember that cIout
he give 1t left handed last Friday?
That was headin' straight for Mars on
1 O. dead beeline, Wen we lost sight of il
over the right field fence an the river
Pleiades Peterkin had clasped in the
meantime an ordered another drink.
A Regular Thing.
You don't mean TO tell me-" says he.
that this here heavy hitter does this
right along? We f1ggered it might have
been an eXcitin' game, an it was a
/ sort of a chance rap. But it's a regular
thing. eh?"
The felers all says yes and then they
made me stand up. and the Marsian
champion batter near had q fit as he
shook hands.
Well. Pleiades Peterllin. he set down
and told as experiences of his at ball
games in Mars. and said he didn't doubt
1t at all that the dented appearance of
the moon came from some o my drives
havin hit it occasionally 1 thought he
was THROWN it in a bit on that but he
seemed in earnest. He was a nice talk
er. anyway, an We talked till moss
mornin.' lie said civilization had ad-
vancad so in Mars that it was now two
strikes is out an three balls take your
base an WIGS su pTised that we still
clung 10 the old rules. They had chock-
ed aside the foul strike rule several
! sons back. he said. When he said
he didn't know what the spit ball was
| Reggie Van Rensselaer, looked pleased
and said he guessed he'd go with
/ Pleiades up TO Mars an start a school
/ for the Marsian League pitchers.
/ There'd be money in It. he thought,
You sec, Peterkin had made us prom
/ ise to go up TO Mars with him. He
wanted only me at first. but ! said It
was the whole Alfalfa outfit or none,
and lie had finally agreed. though he
/ said it would crowd the outowindile
considerable.
Put Machine in Barn.
The next day we seen the machine
and put it in the barn, SOS It wouldn't
/ get rusty. II was like a big cigar with