The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1905-05-19

can enjoy your religion and yictuals
Is well as ever but the seasickness
that the English channel gives you Is
a permanent investment, like govern
men. bonds that you cut coupons OF
" / spect We shall be sick always
now. and worse every other day, like
,hills ard fever
say. a boat on the English channel
does not roll. or pitch. al intervals,
like a BOAT on ordinary water but il
does stunts like a broncho that has
been poisoned by eating loco-weeds
and goes into the air and dives down
under. and shakes itself ike black
bass with a hook in its mouth, and
rolls over like a trained dog, and sits
uy On It's hind legs and begs. and then
walks IN Us fore paws, and seems TO
Jump Uroleh hoops. and dig for wood
shgehs aud all the time the water
bolls like poi.inarius. full of bubbles,
and d gives you the hiccups To look
al lr and d flows every way az the
same time. and the wind comes fron
The fourteen quarters at once. and
blows hot II you are too hot and want
cool breeze. and If you are too cold,
and want a warm breeze TO keep you
alive !, comes right from the north
pole. and you just perish in your
tracks
Gee. but 1t is awful. When you get
seasick on an ordinary ocean. you
know where TO locate the disease, and
you know where to 20 for relief. and
when you have got relieved you know
that you are alive. but an English
channel seasickness is as different
from any other as an alcohol jag Is
different from a champagne drunk
This English channel seasickness be
gins on your toes. and you feel a.
though the tOenails were being pulled
out with pincers, and the veins II
yOur legs seem TO explode. your arms
wilt like lettuce in front of cheaI
grocery. your head seems to be struci
with a pile-driver and telescoped dowr
into your spine and your stomach
feels as though you had swallowed
telephone pole with all OF the cross
arms and wires and glass insuiators
and YOU wish lightning would STRIKE
you. Gosh. but dad was hot wheT
he found that he was sick that way
and when we got ashore he wanted Z
Kill the first man he met
lie thinks that II is crime 10
man not to understand the Englisl
language. and when he tells what h
"a. ta = talking III
shrugs his shoulders and laughs. an
brings him something else. he want
10 pull his gun and begin to shoe
10 the town. and only for me he wou
have killed people before this. bar lo'
he takes it out in scswling at peopl
who do not understand him. Da
seems to think that If he cannot max
man understand what he says. a
ne has TO do Is TO swear at the mar
but there Is no universal language Z
profanity. so the more dad swears IN
more the nervous Frcnchman smiles
and acts polite.
/ think the French people are Ii
poiitest folks ever knew. III
Frenchman had TO Kick person out
doors. he would wear felt slippe
and after he had kicked you he woul
place his hard on his heart and boy
and lool, 50 sorry. and hurt that "a
would want 70 give him tip
o. but this tipping business Is VIII
is breaking dads heart think
the servants would arrange a synd
cate to rob dad of two or three dc
lars day. by pocket picking, or sne'
thievnp he would overlook Il. AZ
say that rs long as IL was one of q
customs ot The country We shou
have 10 sa1 mli to It. but when