The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-24
GREAT NEW YEAR DINNER
 DID NOT MATERIALIZE
s. 0. HALE, Company L. Sixth Alabama Regiment.

Without ado they arrogated to themselves
 the exclusive privilege of giving utter
 anee to words expressive of the senti-
 ments of all. There was no tangible in- dvidual upon whom our squad could
 wreak vengeance. Their operations had to be conducted along the lines of hy- pothesis Naturally their attention was first drawn to the city whence all the
 trouble had issued. Naturally their
 thoughts clustered around the four edi- tors. Appropriately they showered the compliments of the day upon their devoted heads "Cussed' them for having, as
 usual, "blowed' too much; didn't believe there were forty miles of dinner In the whole Confederacy, let alone in Rich mond; one thing certain, if there was any
 dinner at all the four "eds" intercepted and appropriated it before the process sion could pass without the walls of the city; wished the four 'eds' could, just once, muster enough spunk to show their
 earcasses at the front, so "Old' Grant i could get one whack at them; reckoned
 that would teach them how to poke fun
 at men fighting for their country i Having demolished the four editors, our squad next turned their attention to our
 own officers. Not to "Marse" Bob; of course not All of us would have been
 perfectly willing for that dear old man
 
 dinner with the table thrown in, if he had only intimated that he wanted the thing It was the other fellows, the small fry, the subs, our squad was after. The men "cussed' them for parcel of highwaymen who had waylaid and gob- bed up our forty miles of dinner While it was intransit adown the forty mile line. From the exercise. and concious- ness of duty well performed our squad tp6- Their enthusiasm was not contagious ! We the sobersided, the serious the se- date, sat with heads bowed and faces in
 our hands-eoquent pictures of mute des-
 pair
 It was really ptiful to see Doctor B. ] The doctor had one weakness-he was in- ordinately fond of good eating. No child
 ever lived that was more fond. He had set his heart upon having once more, good old-fashioned New Years dinner. where turkey was served, not by the
 bite, but ad libitum. His hopes had been
 raised to the summit only to fall and be dashed into atoms.
 Doctor B. had been our ideal of sold ] fer His bad been the anchor that had
 held us steadfast to our moorng In
 every stress of weather Never once in ] our presence had he permitted the least | fnsinuation that Lee would ever have to l succumb to Grant. If. on occasion when we were conversng around the camp f fire one of our boys by way of diver 1 sion, would let fall an expression like i this Well, boys we'll all eat dinner at i home on the Fourth of July" the doctor
 would interpret it to mean that by that 1 time "Old" Grant would have gobbled us up and have shipped us home, Being l very muscular he would nab the offender
 and sternly demand: "Take it all back! ] at the same time tickling him so unmer- l cfully that in an agony of laughter, the 1 poor fellow would exclaim: "Oh, Doc! Do,
 Doc. take it all back. Old Grant won't , be able to whip Marse Bob as long as the world stands
 "Well. what about that Four of July
 dinner?'
 | "Oh, Doc! we won't eat dinner at home I on the Fourth of July. not one of us | Such had been Doctor Bs record. -change had now come over the spirit or | his dreams For once he was neither tickled himself nor in a mood for tick | ling. For once, our squad had carte blanch privilege to parade at will.
 Amid the silence that ensued after our souad had closed business for the night, the doctor slowly raised his head from
 his knees and unburdened himself; "WeIl, boysl the jig's up. No use for
 Marse Bob to try any longer. The Con federacy's busted. The whole thing has
 wiggled.'
 What Grant with hls forty miles of soldiers and his forty miles of cannon had not been able to effect was accom- nlished by our forty miles of dinner aided and abetted by four blowing editors Doctor B. was a subdued, subjugated man.
 Under the lead of our old chieftain, we helped support the tottering cause Of our country. several months longer. Fortu- nately, however, we never received an- other invitation to dinner It had cost us many melancholy moments to re- cover from the demoralizing effects of that one.
 uh>c yt v,rjpfa 1ood if is a good cuk.