New-York tribune., 1905-01-23
THE TALK OF THE DAF.

Well I am the only here who has
the papers 10 prove it, one Oskaloosan observed.
The rest looked at him in astonishment
"'Oh. it's true he protested I've got my dis
charge from the Mount Pleasant Insane Asylum
right here in my pocket"
The statesmen of Arizona and Nsw-Mexico ara
pouring forth impassiOned eloquence against single
Statehood. A poet in Santa Fe snites his Tyre
this effect:
Long years ago far Siam gave TO the world a pair
OF twins whose wondrous joining made the nations
The twins themselves were hampered by their funny
And chafed at the restraint it caused in every homo
haen tWoTid WOO have been.
Cause 'ganst his will. the other one was always
And so we pray. Congress- save US from eternal
And never let US enter life as did those quon-dam
But let US each be one. and let each retain our
And Veil give to these United States by far farer
The stars you place for US to upon the field of
Shall never have their Iuster dmmed by act Of ours
untruei
LENvOI.
God bless and save US every one from many, many
But to you we look. o Congress.
Save us
From being
We commend the poet for the temperance Of his
language. "Quon-dam" is certainly mild eplthet
to apply to the twins.
Representative Lacey of Iowa, according TO The
Washington Post had an anecdOte during the last
campaigp with which he used turn the laugh
on his Democratic friends who boasted that their
party had become sane.
Something like a dozen citizens Of my home
town OF OskaIoosa were talking together
ing not long ago on the street corner" Mr. Lacey
would say the proper point in his speech. Thu
argument turned the sanity OF the Democratic
party as proven by its platform adopted at St.
Louis.
One way-Hcks-He'u never succeed in life
WIcks-Why do YOU think that
HickS-Oh every time he opens his mouth he puts
Wicks-WeI. that's one way at least of making
both ends meet,-tCathoic Standard and Times
The people OF West Africa struggle with the
English language much after the manner OF the
East Indian though with the latter's rhetorical
hourishes. A citizen OF Sekondi writes to a firm
which deals in cream; II very glad to write
you this letter to say that you the best cream
maker in the world. so kindly send me you cream
at once as a samples then 1 will order the
amount that have put In the Paper" As a
postscript come these tHserutable words: And
kindly send me your Brass Bottom; sent It finely
goodly possibly The postscript perfectly
unintellisIble to the firm.
Yellowlsh Tinge.-"LOok here drawled the cross
roads kicker yeour paper Is getting little yellow
OF late"
Wal. by CASH, replied the rural editor. What
can yeou expect when I'm getting nything for
subscriptions but pumpkins2'-(Chicago News
Secretary Hay writing to William \. McNeill OF
Memphis. explained the origin OF Jim Bludso
who held 'her nozzle ag In the bank while the
passengers escaped from tho river steamer Prairie
Belle Mr. Hay writes: 'Your suggestion was COR
rect The name of tho boat was the Fashion. and
the name OF the engineer was Oliver Fairchud-
used the name of 'Bludso' because they were
family OF rivernen whom knew, I had the story
from Oliver Fairchid's son. Henry Fairchild, who
was some years ago cotton broker in New-Or-
leans. do not know whether no is yet alive
A Pointed Reply.-''You haven't got much OF
head said the needle TO the pin.
No replied the latter but at the same time
we pins have our nne points. '-(Cleveland Plain
Dealer.