davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07
Ancient Chimes.

Unheard for nearly $50 years, the old
"Tum Again, Wilmington" chimes
were rung once more, at noon, o.
tober IL, from the steeple Of Bow
church, London The old chime, de-
stroyed in the grea. Are Of 1865, has
been recast by Sir Charles villiers
Stanford.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07
Pretty Sleeves.

One very pretty sleeve is cut off Just
above the elbow. Here it is finished with
a band Of silk and a tulle ruffle one finger
wide. Upon the band Of silk there are
silver clasps. Another very pretty
evening sleeve has a band or cuff Of
Dresden silk around it, and upon this
cuff there are sewed imitation pink
topazes.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07

my bed, and the doctors failing to help,
began using Doan's Kidney Pills. The
urine loon came freely again, and the
pain gradually disappeared. I have
been cured eight years, and though
owe 10, Inn as active as a boy"
Sold by all dealers. 80 cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07
Bows Win a Medal.

For not smoking, chewing or drink
Ing until 81 years of age, j. D. Sliney and
H. o. Hinckley, of Wakefield, Mass,
have each been awarded $40 and GER
tificates from the selectmen. The money
came from a fund left by Jonathan Mich
OILS for that purpose.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07

The majority of people do not see
things; they just look at them. The
power of keen observation is indicative
of a superior mentality; for it is the
mind, moi the optic nerve. that really
sees Success Maeazine
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07
An Arctic Minute.

The six months night had begun, and
Mrs. Whaleblubber dropped in on Mrs.
Walrustusk.
Take off your furs!" urged the hos
pitable hostess.
ooh, it isn't worth WHILE" was the re-
ply. 81 only came to stay a week.
Chicago Sun.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07
Obiurgated Office Bow.

"Tell me-" asked the British tourist,
who was interested in political mat
ters, what is your understanding OF
the oath of Office here?"
"Well," replied the earnest citizen.
"n most Offices it's Darn that boy
Philadelphia Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07

bad weather brought
kidney troubles on
me, and l suffered
twenty years with
sharp, cramping pains
in the back and urin,
airy disorders. often
had to get up a dozen
times at night tc
urinate. Retention
set in, and / was
obliged to use the
-l1-4z n ~ 4
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07
The Genius Idea,

Cali the boys are dom we'll, 'cept
James," said the old man.
San what's James a-doin' OFF"
well, he's jest a-loa1n' round, an
tryin' to be one O. these here incompre-
hensible gen1uses!"--Atlanta Constitu-
t1un
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07

She-And do you think I'm a CO.
quette? Why, l don't believe you
know what a coquette is.
He (bitterly)-A coquette is a wo.
man who syndicates her Affections
Life.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07
When Greek Meets Greek.

The life insurance magnate smiled pen.
sively.
~ caught a burglar in my room last
night" he said.
you did? Goodness"
of .he poor fellow."-Cleveland Leader.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07
At an Art Gallery.

When you attend an art gallery above
all things be quiet and be most careful.
not to walk directly In front of some one
who is looking at a picture or cnyto.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07
It Makes a Difference

Billings-Isn't a dollar rather high
for a sprig of mistletoe?
Florist-Can't tell you that, sir! 1t
depends OH who's going to be under it.
Puck.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07

$50 that great inventor is dead and
his wonderful secret is lost" mot at
all. He told it to his wife just before he
died." Eyes, that's what | mean"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07

You could hardly make a woman be-
lieve that she ought to judge a mans
business ability by the way he treats his
family.-N. Y. Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07
NUGGETS OF NONSENSE.

Marie-"Well, l shall make one mans
life happy, anyway" Marianne-"Oh,
l see! You are not going to get mar
RED"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07

Patience-"What reason had she for
marrying him." Patrice-"Why, he
had money" Patience-"That is not a
reason; that is an excuse"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07
MERCILESS ITCHING.
Another Speedy Cure of an Itching
Humor with Loss Of Hair by the
Cuticura Remedies.

"For two years my neck was covered
with sores, the humor spreading to my
hair, which fell out, leaving an unsightly
bald spot, and. the soreness, inhamma-
ton, and merciless itching made me wild.
Friends advised Cuticura Soap and Cuti-
cura Ointment, and after a few applica-
tions the torment subsidized, to my great
joy. The sores soon disappeared, and my
hair grew again, as thick and healthy as
ever. I shall always recommend the
Cuticura Remedies. (Signed) Harry j.
Spalding, lO4 West lO4th street, New
York City"
Some people are always willing to tell
the truth when it is d;sagreeable to some
body else.-N. Y. Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07
IN CONSTANT AGONY.
A West virginian's Awful Distress
Through Kidney Troubles.

w. L. jackson, merchant, of Parkers-
burg, W. Va, says: driving about in
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07

Some men are born rich, some achieve
riches, and some are related to presidents
of insurance companies. -Saturday Even
ing Post.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07

Some men are born great and keep
great all their lives, while others who are
born all right, become small and mean
Of their W accord.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07

'I'm surprised that you should be SC
interested in watching those silly
dudes" Force Of habit, l guess. I'm
president Of a real estate improvement
company" "Well?" "Well, they're a
vacant lot"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07

The irritable employer turned to his
typewriter with a sudden snarl. why
don't you write it just as I say it?" he
demanded. Because my typewriter
hasn't the catarrh," she quietly re-
sponded.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07
Grumpy Pa.

GLOW magnifcently your daughter
sweeps into a ROOM"
Eyes. If she could sweep out a room
that well, she'd be some use to her
mother. cleveland Leader.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07

I am sure Piso's Cure for Consumption
saved my life three years ago.-Mrs. Thos
Robbins, Norwich, n. Y, Feb. II, 1900.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07

"Why do you call young Featherbone
'Cholly?' His first name is Noah"
"Yes, but that's SO inappropriate. Noah
had sense enough to get in out of the
rain"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07

Visitor-"Have you nothing better to
do than sit on the fence and watch the
train go by?" Native-"Wal, stranger,
it's better'n to sit on the train and watch
the fence go by"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-12-07

"How's times drumming life insur-
me that he has an even harder job"
"How Ia that be?" He's trying to sell
suede gloves in Norway"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-07-26

than to believe me disloyal. was
proud and hurt. But now you are
back. Jack wrote me of your strange
meeting that a sob in her
voice? "You are at disadvantage. !
have you at my mercy now. You. can
do only as say while you are Ill. /
shall be cruel tyrant, Ned. Remem-
Der you are a private, and l am in
command"
"A soldiers part is to obey. am q
soldier" Ned closed his eyes and sigh.
ed contentedly. He was very weak
and tired, and quite willing to accent
this form of discipline.
From the moment that Jack came
under his mothers care, he grew well
by strides, and it was but short time
before he was about the house, but
Ned lay calm and quiet, with no sign
of mending for many days. Alice sat
by his side for hours at a time. with
his hand in hers, and he would smile
or sigh contentedly. They talked but
little. He was not strong and they
were too happy for explanations.
II believe you don't care, Ned
whether you get we'll or not" said
Jack, as he limped into the room one
morning. "Stir yourself, old fellow
Hang it, get mad! You are too angelic
to last"
II was never so happy in my life
Jack. Your mother has been so kind
to me, how can I ever thank her:
And Alice, what can I say about her!
No words are adequate"
Don't say anything. Only get out
Of this. To see you around again will
be thanks enough. It would be down.
right ungrateful Of you to die on their
hands"
Sometimes think it would be bet
ter for me to die"
1.-THE fever has made you daffy. For
heavens sake, quit talking such Tom.
myrot," advised Jack, with kindly
brusqueness, as he dragged himself
out Of the sick room.
Perhaps his words had good effect
At any rate Ned took a turn for the
better and began to improve steadily
though slowly.
One day when he had arrived at the
dignity Of sitting up the faint color in
his cheeks gave Alice courage to say:
med, why have you been so slow
about getting well? Why didn't you
care? Have not right to know?"
SHOULD a man keep an oath, Alice
which was made in good faith, but
without much reflection and with abso.
lutely no conception of the wretched.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-07-26
EARLY ELECTRIC ROADS.

Line in Baltimore Perhaps First Regu-
1arly Operated in This Country.
Daft began work on the Hampden
branch Of the Baltimore Union Passen-
ger Railway Company in August,
1885, at first with two, and a year later
with two more dummies, which pulled
regular street cars. A central and the
running rails were used for the normal
operation, but at crossings an over
head conductor was installed, and con-
nection was made with it by a trans
versely hinged arm carried on the car
and pressed upward against it by a
spring. The driving was by a pinion
| operating on an internal gear on one
oe the axles.
This was, think, the first regularly
operated electric road in this country,
and the conditions under which the
contract was taken, including waiting
a year for payment conditioned on sat
lsfactory operation-and finally, even
on these onerous terms, secured only
in the face Of an opinion by WELL
known scientist that no one but "a
knave or fooP' would undertake it
| were anything but encouraging. For
tunately for Daft, however, T. G. Rob-
bins, the general manager of the rail-
read company, was strong in the faith.
This equipment was followed by a
more ambitious one-that of q section
of the Ninth Avenue Elevated Rail-
road for a distance Of two miles,
where a series Of experiments were
carried on during the latter part Of the
year 1885, with locomotive called the
Benjamin Franklin The motor was
mounted on platform pivoted at one
end, and motion was communicated
from the armature to the driving
wheel through grooved friction gears
held in close contact partly by the
weight Of the machine and partly by
an adjustable screw device. This loco
motive, pulling train Of cars, made
several trips; but the experiments
were soon suspended, and they were
not resumed till three years later,
when, during several weeks, a rebuilt
and improved benjamin Franklin"
was frequently run between the steam
trains on the section between Four
teenth and Fiftieth streets, attaining
at times a speed of twenty-five miles
an hour, and on one occasion pulling
an eight-car train up the maximum
grade Of nearly 2 per cent at seven
mile rate.-Century.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-07-26

ness that the keeping Of it would en-
tail? Tell me, Alice. what you think"
'Alice's face whitened and she hest
tated before speaking.
IAN oath has always seemed a sa-
cred thing to me, Ned, but surely you
have taken no oath to dieY her voice
was q mere whisper.
mo, Alice, no; but it would be easier
to die than to keep my oath. Help me.
Alice. / have sworn to return to the
West If live"
"Why, that Is not so terrible, Ned.
Couldn't-wouldn't you take me with
your" Alice asked bravely.
Ned's only answer was a hoarse sob
as he buried his face In his hands.
Alice knelt on the floor at his side and
gently uncovered his face.
"Ned, dear, you must tell me what
it all means"
Forgive my weakness, Alice. The
thought Of leaving you unnerves me-
fir If keep my oath, Alice, it means
lifelong separation for us. I should
have told you when first came, but
thought would not live, and it was
SO much easier to drift on without
spelling the beautiful present, for 1
thought that was all there was for me.
The doctors on the boat gave me no
hope Of life. / have never told yor
dear, how near to death I was just
before the war. I was rescued, Alice.
and tenderly cared for by one to
whom, on leaving, made this wretch
ed OATH"
Ned paused.
"Go on, tell me ALL" Alice demanded.
She still held his hands, and as she
heard Of his narrow escape from fire
and his long sufferings, she clasped
them still tighter and she listened Gag
erly to every word until the little story
was done.
"My own happiness seemed wreck
ed. Why should l not make this child
happy If I could? My life was a Door
thing enough. If devoting it to her
should assure the happiness Of one of
Gods creatures, wouldn't it be better
than selfishly brooding on what might
have been? Thus I reasoned In the
brief moment before answered her
and, Alice, while the oath was on nv
lips, your image was in my heart.
Heaven help me, what shall l do?
The tears which had been streaming
down Alice's face ceased, but she was
pale and her hands were Icy cold.
There is no question, Ned: you
must return to the poor child. Leota ;"
mo, no, Alice. can't leave yoar.
cried Ned.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-07-26
The Marble Bible of Burma

Great as has been the amount of la
Dor expended on the various Bibles Of
the world, the palm for execution must
be given to the Kutho-daw, which is q
Buddhist monument near Mandalay, In
Burma. It consists Of about 700 tenn
pies, each containing slab Of white
marble on which the whole Of this
Buddhist Bible, containing over 8,OO0,-
900 syllables, has been engraved. The
Burmese alphabet Is used, but the Ian
guage is Pail. This wonderful Bible Is
absolutely unique. The Kutho-daw
was ereeted in 1857 by Mindon-min.
the last AAing but one Of Burma. The
vast collection Of temples together
form a square, with a dominating tenn
pie in the center. Each Of the marble
slabs on which the sacred text Is In
scribed is surmounted by an ornamen
tai canopy in pagoda farm.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-07-26
In Search or a Lodging.

There is story of a home-lovins
farmer who started for the West and
came home ''to spend the first night"
This was question of sentiment; but
another man, quoted by the Philadek
phia Ledger, had more practical rea,
son for seeking cover.
He had been hired by close-fsted
farmer, who believed in burning the
candle at both ends. The first morn
ing the new man was called at 8
o'clock. About fifteen minutes later
he came downstairs with his bag in
his hand.
''Ain't you goin' to work?" asked the
farmer, in surprise.
sNo," was the disgusted answer.
"I'm goin' to hunt up some place to
stay all night"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-07-26
THE WISDOM OF CHILDREN.
AS Exemp1ifled by the O1d-Time Elk
animation System.

AS Exemp1ified by the O1d-Time Elk
animation System.
or all the admirable arguments
which may be brought forward for
retaining the examination system as
one Of the pillars of education, one at
least is convincing, and that is that
the wisdom Of the written answers
adds not only to the gayety, but to the
knowledge of the teacher The pres.
ent writer has just been glancing
through two collections Of examples of
the wisdom of children" Not all the
examples given-a few of them old,
very many Of them new-can be sup
posed to be capable of absolute au-
thentication, but to invent or improve
on children's sayings is in any case an
innocent enough occupation. AS good
test Of authenticity probably as any
other is to be found in the reflection.
Was the question itself likely to be
asked? "Give me a proof from Scrip
ture that having more than one wife
Is unlawful" for instance, with the
obvious answer, mo man can. serve
two masters" belongs clearly to the
business Of "grown-ups;" and it is a
little difficult to admit that an of the
story Is true in which class is asked,
IF man walking at the rate of four
miles an hour gets an hours start of a
man walking five miles an hour, where
will the second overtake the flrst?"
please, sir, at the first public house."
is che answer. But would not the real
question have been when" and not
where" and in any case, who thought
Of the word ''first?'
In any case the insistent point is
that the very best Of the stories are
those which are so natural and SO
quaint as to make it quite impossible
for them to have been invented, and
there Is wonderful number Of clear
ly genuine children's sayings. What,
for instance, could be more simple or
more splendidly direct as a compli-
ment to a pretty girl than the small
boys admiring question, "Are your
eyes new ones?" No "grown-up" per-
son could have thought of that "a
Eliminating animal is one that chews
her cubs"-there might surely be less
thoughtful definitions. After all, the
word Illuminating" does somehow
suggest darkness and mystery, and
there is the sound Of ruin in 1t, nor
is it the easiest Of tasks for a parent
to explain away the sudden disappear
ance Of the progeny of the much-inter-
fered-with mouse or rabbit
AS for definitions, no dictionary has
ever given anything better than "a
movable feast-a picnic;" or the an
swer to "What is lukewarm water?"
water is lukewarm when it looks
warm and London Spectator.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-07-26
-Four Facts For
Sick Women
To ConSidez
Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound
Has an UnequaHed Record Of Cures
Mrs. Pinkhom's AdUice Is ConfydeH.
kol, Free, and al.caYs Helpful

F.RsT.-That almost every operation
in our hospitals performed upon women
becomes necessary through neglect Of
such symptoms as backache, irregular
and painful menstruation, leucorrhea,
displacements of the uterus, pain in
the side, burning sensation in the stom.
ach, bearing down pains, nervousness,
dizziness and sleeplessness.
SEcoND.-The medicine that holds
the record for the largest number Of
absolute cures of female ills is Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
It regulates, strengthens and cures
diseases of the female organism az
nothing else can.
FOR thirty years it has been helping
w,3men to be strong, curing baclxache,
nervousness, kidney troubles, all utter
inc and ovarian Inflammation, weak
ness and displacements, regulating
menstruation perfectly and overcom-
ing it's pains. It has also proved itself
invaluable in preparing for childbirth
and the change OF life.
TH1Rp.-The great volume of unso-
licited and grateful testimonials on file
at the Pinkham Laboratory at Lynn,
Mass. many OF WHICH are 1TOLh t1lic 10
time published by permission, give abb
solute evidence of the value of Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound and
Mrs Pinkham's advice.
FoURTH.-Every ailing woman in the
United States is asked to accept the
following invitation It is free, will
bring you health and may save your
life.
Mrs. Pinkham's Standing Invitation
Women.-- Women suffering from any
form of female weakness are invited to
promptly communicate with Mrs Pink
ham, at Lynn, Mass. All letters are
received, opened, read and answered
by women only. From symptoms given,
your trouble may be located and the
quickest and surest way of recovery
advised. Out of the vast volume of ex-
perience in treating female ills Mrs.
Pinkham probably has the very knowl-
edge that will help your case. Surely,
any woman, rich or poor, is very foolish
If she does not take advantage Of this
generous offer Of assistance.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-07-26
Quite q Relief.

Timid Youth have-er-come to
ask g-great favor Of your, sir. T.
Stern Parent-Well, cut 1t short,
young man; this is my busy day.
Timid Youth l-love your d-daughter,
sir. and c-came to ask her hand in
m-marriage.
Stern Parent-Oh, all right, my boy;
take her, and welcome. / thought at
first you wanted to borrow money.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-07-26
Not Loaded.

Maybelle-Clarence and Jack quar-
relied about me!
Estelle-How exciting! What did
they do?
Maybelle-Oh, 1t was awful came
into the room and they were waving
pistols at each other.
Estelle-Pistols? Mercy! Were they
loaded.
Maybelle-Not a bit-they were as
sober as could be!-Cleveiand Leader.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-07-26
Always WELCOME

There is talk Of still another byron
revival" Burns seems to be the only
immortal who doesn't need "reviving''
AS some one said in a speech to the
i.u~ns Club He's with us every day
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-07-26
A SONG FOR SUMNER.

The meadow-ark rppes freshs
A buge note o
wander, O. A to trouble
Sing Hey, nonny, the summers beguni
Sing Hey nonny! The scent Of the hayng,-
morning,-the OF year.
Of blthe
OF aught but "Heyeioi
Aperch the fence-post the squirrel sits sentry;
The rabbit kpping-the sparkes by,
Of the hil,-the shy woodland gentry
Sing each In his 20 the and Iw
Sing Hey, dawning. aquiver
With dew-brushed where the quail
the mountains,-the CLINT
Sing Heyo the summer!-its summer at last!
-Xesle's Weekly.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-07-26

OW1ou w ANIt6 L)UCCCCS " 4 oIWt
Capt. W. w. Jackson, 7O5 G ST., N.
w., Washington, D. c., writes:
II am eighty-three years old,
veteran Of the Black Hawk, Mexican
and the Civil Wars. am by profession
a physician, but abandoned the same.
ssSome years ago was seriously af-
fecfed with Catarrh of the stomach.
My Sufferings were prOfracted and
severe. tried every known remedy
without obtaining relief.
'sIn desperation began the use of
your Peruna. I began to realize Inn
mediate though gradual Improvement.
CATER the use of three bottles every
appearance Of my complaint was remov.
ed, and / have no hesitation in recon-
mending it as an infallible remedy for
that disorder. w. w. Jackson.
Address DIR. S. B. Hartman, President
of The Hartman Sanitarium, Column
hrs Ohm
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-07-26

Some people who will forgive you
IL you do not give them a Christmas
present, will never get over 1t II you
do not give them wedding present.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-07-26

It would not be considered etiquette
for an undertaken to call on his sick
friends