Alaska sentinel., 1905-06-22
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do for this seasickness?" Why, yes Try farming. Life.
 .Iohnny-Paw, what's the rest of that quotation beginning Truth is mighty" Father-"Scarce," reckon. -pittsburg Post.
 He-I go to bed at night with gloves on to keep my hands soft. She And do you wear your hat, too?- Hartford Courant
 Medium-Do you wish to see your departed husbands spirit? Mrs. Whif. tietree-No; want to see his ghost! Josh never had no spirit.-Puck.
 50 the specialist said you'd have to give up smoking for while, eh!' "Yes, and he also said I'd have to give up S15 for good. ."-Collier's Weekly.
 suitor-I'm poor but honest sir, Old Rocksy-I don't doubt 1t at all, my boy; and unless you change your prin. ciples you'll never get rich.-Town Topics.
 Nell-How in the world did you dis cover her age? Belle-I asked her at what age she thought a girl should marry, and she promptly said 27.- Philadelphia Ledger.
 What is the chief product of the United States?' asked the teacher in a European school. And without hesi- tatlon the bright pupil replied, Mon ey."-Washington Star.
 "A New York man advocates the drowning of all idiots" Why, the cruel brutel I shall raise my voice in protest. Ter oh, well, it doesn't matter to me."-Houston Post.
 What is the secret of your sue, cess?" asked the very young man. Tn buying" said the old horse dealer, T look sharp, and in selling l look just as ignorant as I can. n."-Chicago Daily News.
 Its [ o'clock, Fritz! We must run home." No, if 1 go home now I shall be whipped for being so late. I'm go- ing to stay till 8 and then I'll get bon bons and kisses because I'm not drowned. ed."-Lustige Blaetter.
 Did you spend money to get into public ottice?" "No," answered Sena- tor Sorghum; T didn't spend 1t gave 1t away, and then depended on u decent sense of gratitude in the ben eticiaries." s."-Washington Star.
 Fair Devotee-I don't see any way ta al, Ioht fo have lottery. Minister (shocked)- That will never have my sanction, madam, never, unless you call it by some other name.-New York Weekly.
 Old Party-Boy, you'll catch cold if you get your feet wet in that puddle. Small Boy-Dat's what I'm after I'm a-goin' to speak "Spartacus to de Gladiators" at school on Friday, an I wants to git me voice hoarse.-Chicago News.
 Their pay Is shocklngly small for some of our public officials" said the broad-minded man. Yes" answered the cynic; but 1t averages up. Some of the public officials are shockingly small for their ashington Star.
 Finnegan-Oh, yls, Oi can under stand how thim astronomers can cal kilate tn distance av shtarr, its weight, and dinsity and color, and all that-but tn thing thot gets me is, how tn divvle do they know it's name. Puck.
 She-What Is the use of searching for the North Pole, anyway? He Why, 1t would result in great saving of money if found. She-How's that? He-It wouldn't be necessary to send any more expeditions to look after 1t. Philadelphia Inquirer.
 Constituent-Now, Mir. Wunnout, 1 wish you'd do your best to get my boy a good government job. Congressman Well, what can your son do? Con- shtuent-What can he do? Great Scott, man. if he could do anything I wouldn't be bothering you.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
 Mrs. McCall-I do wish I could get good maid. Mrs. Vandine-You might interview mine. I think she'd be delighted to go to you. Mrs. Me Call-But why don't you keep her? Mrs. Vandine-Oh, she won't stay. She says she wants place where she won't have so many gowns and hats to take care of.-Phlladelphia Press.
 Miss Smythe Organizing subscrip. ton dance)-I'm in despair about our have failed me. You'll come won't you7 MT. Brown (extremely stouU- Kelly, Miss Smythe; I'm not dancing man. I don't dance at all! Miss Smythe-Oh. that don't matter in the