The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-01-01
"a Ky

Il
the Observation-Disclosures Manufactur-
ing company Otd.). for the engin-
eer was kirksy, and there was a gold
en- half hour between the time he shut
down steam and washed up that I
coveted.
/ found Kirsky resting, with his pipe
lit, smut-faced and blue overaIled.
lis a fair afternoon" said, but
bids TO be colder"
Did I ever tell you,'' began Kirsky
honorably. about the time Henry
Horsecollar and me took a phonOgraph
10 South American and 1 felt ashamed
OF my subterfuge, and dropped into
the wooden chair he kicked toward
me.
Henry was quarter-breed, quarter
back Cherokee, educated east in the
idioms of football and west in contra
brand whisky, and a gentleman, same
as You or me- He was easy and romp-
ing in his ways; a man about siX-foot,
with a kind of rubber-tire movement.
Henry and me met at Texarkana
scheme. He had $3.50 which came to
him out of land allotment in the
reservation. 1 had run down from Lit
tie Rock on account of a distressful
scene 1 had witnessed on the street
there. A man stood on A box and
passed around some gold watches,
screw case, stem Winders, Elgin move
ment, very elegant. Twenty bucks
lney COST you over the counter Al ID
the crowd fought for the tickers. The
man happened TO find a valise full Of
them handy and ne passed them out
Ike putting hot BISCUITS on a plate.
The backs We're hard to unsCrew, but
the crowd put its ear to the case and
they licked notifying. and agreea BILE
Three of those watches were genuine
tickers; but the rest, they were only
kickers.
Hey? Why. empty cases with one
of them horny black bugs that fly
around electric lights in EN-. Them
bugs kick off minutes and seconds in
dustrious and beautiful. The man I
was speaking of cleaned UP $2SS, and
went away, because he knew that when
il came to wind watches I'm Little Rock
an entOmOlOgiSt would be needed and
he wasn't one
so. as 1 say, Henry had 1850 and I
had S2SS. The photograph idea was
Henry's, but / took to il freely, being
fond of machinery of all kinds.
I'VE bought fine photograph IN
Texarkana-One Of the best make-and
a half trunkful of records We packed
I'D and took the T. and P for New Or
leans. From that celebrated little CEN
ter of mOlasSes and DISTINGUISHED coon
songs we took a steamer for-yes, /
think 1t was South America or Mexico
i am full of stability to divulge the
location of tits on the rural delivery
route. tbs coiored yellow on the map,
and branded with the literature of CT
gar boxes.
Eve landed on a smiling coast at a
town they denounced by the name, as
near as 1 can recollect, Of Sore-toe-
kangaroo. Twas a palatable enough
place to look at. The houses were
clean and white, sticking about among
the scenery like hard boiled eggs served
with lettuce. There was a block Of
skyScraper mountains in the suburbs,
and, they kept pretty quiet, like they
were lying one finger on their lips and
watching the town. And the sea was
remarking 'Sh-sh-sh!' on the beach;
and now and then a ripe cocoanut
would fall keTf1ip in the sand, and that
was all there was doing.
The captain wGnt ashore with us
and offered TO conduct what ne seemed
to like to call the Obsequies- he in
troduced Henry and men to the United
State consul, and roam man, the mead
of the department Of mercenary ana
Hcentious disposition, the way it read
upon his sign
&c L touch here again a week from
today says the captain
d" BY that time. we told him, Wei
be amassing wealth i'm the interior
towns with our galvanized prima
donna and correct limitations or Sousa S
band excavating a march from a tin
'''Ye'H not says the captain. 'Ye'l
be hypnOtized. Any gentleman in the
audience who kindly steps upon the
stage and looks this country in the
eye viii be converted to the hypnOtesis
that he's but q Fly in the Eigin cream
cry. Yell be standing knee deep in
the surf waiting for me, and your ma
chine for making Hamburger steak out
of the hitherto respected art of music
will be playing There's no place like
home"
Henry skinned a twenty off his
role. and received from the bureau OF
nerCenary dispositions a paper bear
ing a red seal and a dialect story, and
no change.
Then We got the consul full of red
wine. and struck him for a horoscope
He vas thin, yOunglsh kind Of q
man. I would say past fifty. sort OF
French-Irish in his affections. and
puffed up with disconsolatiOn. Yes, he
was a flattened kind of a man. in whom
drink lay stagnant, inclined 10 cor
pulence and misery. Yes, I think h
was a kind of Dutchman, being very
sad and genial IN his ways.
The marvellous invention he says
entitled the photograph. has never
before invaded these shores. The DeO-
pie have never heard ii. Simple-h heart
ed children Of nature, progress has
never condemned them to accept the
work of a can opener as an overture
and rag-time might incite them to Z
bloody revolution. But you can try
the experiment. me best cnance yOt
have is that the populace may not
wake up when you play. There's two
ways says the consul, they may take
it They may become inebriated with
attention, like an Atlanta colonel list.
ening to Marching Through Georgia, %
or they viii get excited and transpose
the key OF the music with an AK and
yourselves into dungeon. In the lat
ter case says the consul, III do my
duty by cabling 10 the state depart
ment and I'll wrap the stars ana
stripes around you when you come tC
be shot, and threaten them with, tbs
vengeance of the greatest gold export
and financial reserve nation on earth
The flag is full of bullet holes now,
says the consul, made in that way
Twice before says the consul. L have
cabled our government for a couple OF
gunbOats to protect American citizens
The first time the department sent ms
a pair Of gum boots. The other tim,
was when man named Pease was go
ing to be executed here. They referred
that appeal to the secretary of agricul
ture. Let us now disturb the senOl
behind the bar fer a subsequence of thu
red wine
Thus soliIoquized the consul of Sore
toe-kangaroo TO me and Henry Horse
collar.
But. notwithstanding, we hired
room that afternoon in the Gale de To-