davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11
coMMuTeR WAS OUT OF LUCK
Encyclopedia at First Trial TlVows
Him OFF the Track.

him on the Track.
After the train had started breth-
less commuter swung himself upon
the last platform at a station some
fifty minutes from New York. Under
his arm was one huge volume Of an
encyclopedia. He also carried green
cloth bag. such as are affected by
very young lawyers.
He sank into seat and with a deep
sigh opened the book. Though he lost
no time in finding his place he did
not seem satisfied, for he soon turned
with great evaporation to his neigh.
Dor to say:
Now, wouldn't that jar you? I've
been paying for this encyclopedia for
the last eighteen months, and | never
had occasion to use it before this
morning. Now, have a new client,
a big tanner, who is going to call on
me to-day, and want to read up the
subject of tanning before l get to the
city this morning.
$50 grab up the volume with the
letter in it while I'm eating breakfast.
Had to run five blocks for my train.
Look UP the word-now there? You
bet the word is there, but that's al.
that is there. Look at that" he ex-
claimed, pointing to this simple le-
gend:
Tanning See leather."-New York
Sun.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11
Properties Of Tantalum.

The success of tantalum as a ma
terial for electric lamp filaments has
drawn attention to the remarkable
properties of the metal, and may lead
to many demands itf the supply can
be sufficiently increased. Chief OF
these properties, as Dr. Mollwo Perlxin
points out, is extreme ductility, com.
bined with extraordinary hardness. 4
diamond drill. rotating 5000 times a
minute for three days and three nights
penetrated only quarter through a
sheet of tantalum one-twenty-ffth OF
an inch thick, and the diamond was
much worn. This hardness suggests
the use of the metal for drills in place
Of the diamond
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11
RUSSIAN THIEVES LIVED WELL.
Aristocratic Band Of Burglars Cap
tured at Moscow.

Aristocratic Band Of Burglars Cap
tured at Moscow.
The arrest Of an important band of
burglars is described in the Sviet as
just having been effected in Moscow.
Thirteen men and women are now un-
der lock and key. They were the aris-
tocrats of the profession and disdained
any operations likely to yield any re-
suit under $4,000. They had town
house in Moscow, rent e400 a year,
and furnished at a cost of $4,000.
They had also country house near
Moscow, where telephones and cleo
trio lights were fitted. Fine horses
and carriages served for their pleasure
excursions, the horses in the stables
being pure bred, and their lawns and
flower beds were tended By the most
highly qualified gardeners they could
hire Their last exploit in May was
worth over 10000 to them in securi-
ties, gold and diamonds. They were
dressed in the finest material and lat
est fashions. Those arrested were
caught during the night, whilst most
of them were asleep, but one was writ
ing out telegram to an accomplice in
Odessa London Answers.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11
Extravanance IN Funerals.

Everyone realizes that in far too
many cases the funeral expenses in
Cured especially by the poor, are a
terrible burden. While one must re-
spect the feelings which prompt the
expending of a large amount to do
honor to the memory of one who has
gone, the burden thus incurred is
often larger than can be borne by the
family. Undoubtedly there are cases
where every cent that the head of the
house has left for the support Of a
widow and children has been used up
in funeral expenses, a lavishness being
thus shown that is entirely unjustitl-
able. Admittedly such questions have
to be handled with great delicacy, but
the church can do much to limit to
more reasonable amounts what is tn
expended. Boston Herald.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11
No excuse for Another Endemic.

New Orleans fight against yellow
fever shows beyond doubt that an
other epidemic ought never to occur.
During the ten weeks of the struggle
there has been but 1896 deaths from
the disease, which is a remarkably
low record, compared with the epidem-
ic of 1878, when, during the same sea
son Of the year, the deaths numbered
2,176 in a much Smaller population
The immense reduction in mortality
this year has unquestionably been due
to the advance Of medical science in
the handling of yellow fever, and here
after, with the city always on the alert
and protected against the stegomyia
mosquito, the epidemic of 1905 should
be known as the last of the plague
Springfield, Mass, Republican.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

A very amusing incident happened
in Providence a few years ago at an
election. 1t was known that the elect.
ion would be closed, and no effort was
spared to bring out the entire vote.
The candidates were William w.
Whipple, Democrat, and John o. Oar
ling, Republican.
Toward the end of the day an Irish
man strolled into voting place He
could neither read nor write, and ask
ed the names Of the different candi.
dates.
"Ah!" said he, that name ODar-
ling is good enough for me. Please
mark my ballot for him"
Mr.. Darling won NY single vote,
and is very thankful that his middle
initial was o.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11
WORK OF THE WITS
HUMOROUS STORIES TOLD IN A
FEW WORDS.
Mr.. Newpop's safe Bet--Another specl-
men of Those Useless Questions
Land Agents Query Easily Answered
Unsatisfactory Reward.


The Doctor-The most remarkable
case OF stupidity | ever know was that
Of a patient Of mine who had visited
sawmill- He never had seen a circu-
lar saw in motion before, and to see If
It was going he stuck out his foot.
The saw went right through his shoe
as if 1t had been cheese and cut off all
five Of his toes in the twinkling OF an
eye -the lobster,
The Professor-Pa Pardon me, doctor,
but if he had been a lobster he would
have proceeded to grow another set OF
toes.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11
oNLY DEFINITION o. AMArEuA.
He Plays for Honorable Contest and
Success.

He Plays for Honorable Contest and
Success.
And what is an amateur?-a man
who plays for the game, and for the
thrill that honorable contest with and
success oyer a worthy rival bring to
him. writes caspar Whitney in the
Outing Magazine Amateurs are
those who contend for honor Pro
fessionals are those who contend
for gain. There are no other distinct
ions-no mi-professionals," no pro
amateurs, "a man is an amateur or
a professional. When the victory It.
self ceases to be sufficient return for
winning, then the amateur tends to-
ward the professional, whose incen-
tive to win must be something more
material than mere thrill. When that
gain, profit, whatever you please to call
It, becomes the incentive, the thrill oe
honorable contest ceases to have any
significance. Employment Of profes-
sional coaches and handlers is fol-
lowed by professional methods,
professional spirit; and the profes-
sional spirit tends to place win
ming above all else Sport for
sports sake, that is the amateur
Sport for the winning to the purse Of
gold, according to the degrees the
professional spirit has advanced-that
is the. professional, Amateur status
rests solely upon its complete disas-
sociation from professionalism in all
its form, its trickery, its utiltarianism,
its moral and social atmosphere.
As the soul gives character to the
man, so the thrill Of honorable con
test gives character to the amateur
athlete.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11
society Youths Refuse to Dance.

Young men Of the New York swell
set no longer dance and the girls are
frantic over the situation. When a
youth is invited to a social affair Of
any kind he makes careful inquiries
about the dancing end of the game
When he finds out that this is I'd be a
feature he says "Good-by!" He is
willing to cut up a goose or sit out
in the open air and sing songs or
even go to the show, but he'll be dog
soned If Ee will dance with anybody
He is becoming SO selfish that he
viii not even play cards with am
ateurs.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11
The Late NJerryv Simeon.

House.
The same crudities Of speech that
characterized the statesman on the
stump marked his oratory in Con
gress. He had a penchant for attach
ing singular verbs to plural nouns and
vice versa, and INDUCED in various
rhetorical gaucheries, but these faults
were overlooked to a large extent.
The official stenographers made the
speeches read all right In the Record.
and a charitable House had something
besides breaks" to think about in
the undenIable logic Of the arguments
and the forceful manner Of presenta-
tion.
After serving two terms in Congress
during the Crisp regime, Mr. Simpson
returned in 1897, and with Reed in
the chair he had even more fun than
before. Many a time Reed writhed
under his onslaughts as he led the
Democratic insurgents against the
rulings Of the chair.
Mr. Simpson was defeated for re-
election in 1898, and henoeforth es-
chewed populism to the extent Of get
ting into big projects In New Mexico.
where there was chance to build up
a fortune Jerry Simpsons populism
at it's best. for that matter. was rot
Of the kind that protests against all
the luxuries Of life. He early joined
the bicycle colony In Washington,
when wheeling was the fad and
astounded the natives with knee bree-
ches and flaming hosiery when he
rode. Had he been in Washington at
a later day he undoubtedly would
have been the owner Of an automo-
bile Sumner ~ Curtis in Chicago
Record Herald.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11
AVOIDING Unneeessary Expense.

Repertory actor. in financial distress,
to manager (also in distress) Say,
governor, hear you've got a little
money in your jeS<- Give us so
cents.
Manager-What can you ev 18th so
cents?
Repertory actor-Well you see, in
to-night's bill | have the leading part
and | want to get shave and hair
cut
Manager-We change the bill.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11
L9O0MZJG Of NiZE 80
"SOCNLEy STATESMAN"
Cn118 OF AZzJUQZRlZ LODGE

Jerry showed bare leg half way to
his knee. He did have on a pair OK
socks, but they scarcely showed above
the tops Of his big shoes, so that they
deceived everybody. Somebody in
the audience shouted out, by goshl
he amt got any" and Jerry Simpsons
fame had dawned. From that time
on Jerry wass called the "sockless
statesmen" This nickname spread
all over the seventh district like
wild prairie fire, and Jerry was too
smart to deny the report at that
juncture.
Few men in Kansas ever had the
personal following that Jerry Simpson
attracted in the seventh dis
trict. For few days following the
election the result Of rumor was in
circulation, and when 1t was reported
one day that Simpson had been count
ed out, the farmers mounted their
horses, shoulderel their guns and par
AIDED the district. threatening a fight
to maintain their supremacy. AS the
later returns came in Simpsons ma
jority assumed such proportions that
the casus belli was happily removed
His majority turned out to be 7.414
out OF a total vote of 57792.
Washington was pleasantly surpris-
ed with the advent of the "sockless
statesman Although he never had
had forensic experience further than
that afforded by the lodgerooms OF
the alliance in Kansas, Jerry Simpson
did not hesitate to cross swords with
the most noted debaters in the House
In repartee he showed himself as
quick as chain lightning, and the sar~
casm of Tom Reed frequently was
met by shaft from the product OF
Kansas unrest that sent floor and
galleries into spasms Of delight and
laughter Reed WINGED sometimes.
but he paid "Sockless Jerry" the re-
spect he gave to all foemen worthy
of his steel, regardless OF personal
oddities.
AS representative Mr.. Simpson
was an inyeterate talker on every inn
portant question that came up. His
speeches mad the merit OF sincerity
and force. and his fund Of stories with
which he illustrated his arguments
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

Jay-Did you tell Sary that l want
ed to marry her?
Rube-Yep. Said she was afraid you
wouldn't be true to her
Jay-Oh, shucksi
Rube-W Well, that's what she told
me Said you'd allus had a hankerin'
to be a drummer an jist as like as not
you'd turn out to be one.-Detroit Trl-
buxe.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11
Holds All Thinos.

Where" said the land agent, adj
dressing an audience Of possible pur-
chasers, where else on the face of
the globe will you find in one place
copper, tin, iron, cotton, hemp, grain
and gamer"
And a voice from the crowd replied,
In the pocket Of my youngest son. =
Stray Stories.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

Stingy old lady-Ah. my dear man!
My shawl for which advertised.
Man (at the door)-Yes, and fur
which youse offered a reward fur
Stingy old lady-Yes, my man, but
won't the reward you get in heaven be
enough for you?
Yes, missus, but if it comes t
lealin' in the hereafter, youse won't
need dis shawl where youse is goin'
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11
Sacred Birds q indians.

The Pueblo Indians have tradition
Of the food, and they say that the
turkey is marked in commemoration
OF that event. its tail being black at
the end, where It dragged through the
mud after the waters had subsidized.
The duck Is another sacred bird. be-
ing associated with water. From the
Pueblo point Of view anything that is
related TO the all-precious water in any
way is an object OF worship. Their
religion is made up to great extent
Of aquatic diyinities and might be
called & species Of water worship.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

The bishop Of Perth has gone homo
to England for short rest from tho
heavy work and anxiety Of the ad-
ministration Of his great diocese.
which spreads over all western Aus
tralia, an area Of nearly 1000 900
square miles.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

Doctor asked the caller. what
would you recommend for a disordered
liver?'
MY friend said the old doctor not
ing the color Of his nose Il should
recommend that he live a more order
'iy life"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

Carnegie wants the five leading ma
tons to get together and make the
world accept peace The great trouble
is that if the five leading nations
ever get together they will be likely
to fight.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

ERRY SIMPSON,
the IS kles S
s tat e s m a n" Of
Medicine Lodge,
is dead. After a
year Of physical
sufferin & this
unique character
in American poll
tics-one Of the
most interesting
figures that ever
occupied a seat in
the national Con-
gress passe e d
away at Wichita,
Kan his wife and
son sitting at his
deathbed. Illness
in the form Of a
valvular affection
Of the heart at
tackled him FIRST
in New MEXICO.
where he was en-
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11
&c. . the aeoIden weat.n

Dr. Henry Morse Stephens. lecturer
on history at the University Of Cali
fornia. has refused an offer to 20 back
to his alma mater, the English Oxford
He is quoted as saying that he would
rather grow in California than 60 to
oxford and vegetate.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

Tom Edison says Americans eat
too much and work TOO little. He
ought to take a walk around the out
side Of his shop and get acquainted
with the facts.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

A Japanese girl is trying to get
job in a telephone Office in San Fran
cisco, and the natives are taking
swearing lessons from a Japanese
man.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

Isn't it funny that it is always men
"who lead exemplary lives" that turn
out to be embezzlers? Men who lead
the other kind Of life are generally
too busy to embezzle.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

Aunt" Ann Belts Of East Orange,
n. j., celebrated her one hundred and
second birthday last week She isn't
in the poorhouse and hasn't used
whisky and tobacco all her life This
Is d remarkable record for New Jer-
sey centenarian.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11
Costly Monument for Horse.

Mrs. Anna Colgate, widow Of the
great soap manufacturer, will build
probably the most expensive monu.
ment Of the kind in the United States
over the grave Of Dandy, her pet
horse
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

Apparently lots of people believe
that it is unlucky to get married on
Friday, the 18th Lots of other peo-
pie believe that it is unlucky to get
married on any other day.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

A European scientist says mans
first ancestor was tree There's
nothing new in that Darwin asserted
that men descended from monkeys.
and any fool knows that monkeys le-
scend from trees.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

1t is to be considered, howbeit, that
If a husbands pocket were as hard to
find as his wife's pocket, there would
be no need of his carrying rat trap
in it for purposes Of protection.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

A Boston tailor billed himself be-
cause his customers wouldn't pay
their bills. If he did it to spite the
customers he probably succeeded.
They may now have to get their
clothes made where deposits viii be
required.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

Wall Street will probably give a
medal OF a loving cup or some other
testimonial of esteem and gratitude
to the man who got into Russell Sage
for $21,095.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

Many Chinese Christians have Civ.
en- up their work = home In order to
gotto the Transyaai to labor as evan
gelists among the 10000 Chinese
coolies there.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

yale" says ar incorrigible joker
who is acting as football coach in that
university, has never stood for rough
play"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

A lot of Virginia women have form
ed an anti-kissing society. Meanwhile,
Virginia's pretty women are too busy
TO break b!to print.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

The funny men have been given an
other opening; John d. Rockefeller
says he feels like a sponge, and 235
jokes in repartee suggest themselves
at once.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

A California man has adopted a
girl because he was charmed by her
piano playing. We may add that she
didn't live next door.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

That clubwoman who exhorts moth
ers to let their boys get dirty once a
day need not worry. The boys will
see to it that her advice is followed
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

The Sultan of Turkey has bought
an automobile Perhaps he intends
to personally circulate among his Ar
menian subjects.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

Grand Duke Cyril is lucky man.
He has succeeded in marrying the
woman he loves and getting banished
from Russia.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

Carlisle has a man on her eleven
named Kicked-on-the-Jaw. He'll have
lots of brothersin-fact before the sea-
sons over.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

There are those who deteat a GER
tain amount Of open work also in the
arguments against the perforated
stocking.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

can Italian" according to an es-
teemed contemporary, walked mile
with a broken neck" Did you ever
see a mile with broken neck?
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

OF course the imitation butter that
was served to Uncle Sans tars was
colored red.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

We note that a clergyman down in
Bristol. R. l., says that he has sinless
children What do his neighbors say?
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

A machine for milking cows by cleo
tricity has been invented. 1t Is re-
ported to work fairly well-when the
cow can be induced to stand still.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

Many a man" says one Of the lady
journalists, has fallen in love with a
dimple." Yes. and discovered later
that it was only wrinkle.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

Even If the French savants think
kissing "an unpleasant custom" It is
most ungallant to say so.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

The mikado continues to give credit
70 his ancestors. He hopes posterity
will do likewise.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

"Are you preferred creditor"
Il guess so. Van Brooke appears to
prefer to have me as a creditor ratb-
er than to pay up"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

How we wish 1t had been one Of
those petrifed apples Satan gave to
Mother Evel
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

A trolley line from the Atlantic to
the Pacific is being talked Of Kindly
accent the talked"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

Gen. Booth, head Of the salvation
Army, is back in LondoL, none tho
worse for his recent trip Of 10000
miles.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11
A Woman,s Opinion.

She says her husbands behavior is
due to the fact that he is insanely
Jealous because of her beauty"
I'm sorry for her lawyer"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

Because the jury will give a verdict
for her husband as soon as they see
her"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-11-11

Mrs. Newpop-M Mrs. Jones says that
only one woman in thousand is cap.
able OF bringing up children.
Mr.. Newpop-Tll bet she thinks she
is one Of the ones