The Corvallis times. (Corvallis, Or.) 1888-1909, 1905-09-27
HE HAS TROUBLES.
OF his own-The Tire1ess Officer Be-
hind the Delivery Window.

business of the office is passing
through a great growth, and with
it there comes crop of woes and
tribulations. In the past the TIMES
has pointed out the increased NUM-
Der of mails, the development of
the R. F. D. rouees, the 1engthen-
ing of Office hours, and other in
fuences that have multiplied the
duties and responsibilities, all with
out adequate multiplication of sal
ary or hired help.
Some things, however, that give
all postmasters pain have not been
pointed out. TheA Ms Instance,
is the married lady N& 6ess not
deign to use her husDa initials.
Instead of signing her I3zH ''FtL,s.
William Wedlock SmitH NJ in
dites it, melissa Horticulture
Smith" It sounds, you know,
like she had identity. and might,
if she wanted to. have whiskers.
1t is such estimable ladies that dc
so much to make the dreams of the
postmaster a cross between a night
mare and shipwreck. He can
remember the name Of William
Wedlock Smith and could easily re-
member her name and make a sure
shot of her letters, as Mrs. William
Wedlock Smith; but when she dis
cards the William Wedlock and
substitutes for it, Melissa Horti-
, culture, the task of remembering
who she is and in what box her let
ters go is largely increased. The
fact that the persons getting mail
on each of the four R. F, D. routes
and that in all there are 1900
names of such to remember, includ-
ing all the Melissa Horticulture
Smiths, makes it easy to under
stand that the postmaster and his
clerks must each have a memory
as quick as a cat and as strong as a
barn door.
Especially is this true, since one
slip of a letter brings Melissa Hor-
ticulture down upon the official with
spasm that jars the whiskers OF
everything in the postoflce.
Then there is another influence
that is source of distress. It is
the student. Five hundred of him
and her are newly arrived and each
is the recipient of sundry mail mat
ter. Some take boxes; some do
not. Some board at Cauthorn Hall
and get their mail there. Some
board at Alpha Hall, and their
numerous missives from home and
him go with Alpha Hall mail.
Some board with private families
and the mail for them goes into
the boxes of such private families.
About the time some students get
we'll settled and the postmaster gets
their proper addresses fixed in his
mind they move and the learning
business in the Office has all to be
gone over again. The latter in
auence is one that makes dreary
days in a postofice, and one to
which the local Office is peculiarly
characteristic because of the very
large educational institution that it
serves.
There is still another distracting
influence. She is the hired girl.
She is fairly prolific as mail getter
Her mail usually goes into the box
of the family where she is employ
ed. If she remained always at one
place. it would be smooth sailing.
But she moves, in many instances,
moves more than anybody. Hard
ly has the postmaster firmly fixed
her address in his mind than she
calls some fatal afternoon and tells
him to put her mail hereafter in
another box, which means more
memory athletics for the tire1ess
officials that smile so gratiously from
the delivery window.
Besides these things, there are
400 lock boxes in the local Office.
An average OF four persons are
served from each, which makes
900 names to remember, all in ad-
dition to the 1900 names on the
R. F, D. routes, in addition to the
students, in addition to the hired
girls, and in addition to the Melis-
sa Horticulture Smiths. It involves
a mental strenuosity sure to bring
wrinkles, gray hairs or badness
long before ones time. 1t could
all be helped so much if everybody
would have the number of thei1
! boxes put in the address on theil
mail. The lock box address in the
case of students would make theil
letters all easy, and afford cherish
ed relief in that direction. Tht
R. F. D. number would cut out
I, 200 names to be remembered. Th
lock box number or the R. F. D
number would give full play to tn
Melissa Horticultures to forget tn
entire existence of their husband
and yet be certain of unerring de
livery Of all their mail. If every
body, except subscribers to tn
TIMES would accept the idee, 1if
with the P. M. would be as a long
sweet dream.