davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

restaurants as a dressing for outlets.
instead of bTeadcrumbs. II costs only
80 cents a sack-and the outlets must
taste like 30 cents.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

An clipping youth writes home &c
his fond parents: Il am married now
and all my troubles are over" oh
youth. as the bard sings. oh. youth
how radiant is thy morning. OF words
to that effect.-Puck.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

Il has been discovered that women
wore corsets as far back as 1900 B.
c. No doubt they were regularly
warned by the doctors that it was
a race-suicidaI fashion, too.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

Victor HugO's granddaughter is
suing for divorce in Paris because her
husband insists on staying down al
the south pole. She fears that his at
fections have become permanentIy
chilled.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

When Gov. Pennypacker worked OF
that remark that in his belief the
devil is an editor, he probably
thought he had said a devilish smart
thing
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

King LEOPOLD hiss just beaten some
OF his relatives in a lawsuit over 3
will. and il is explained that he has
also saved a tidy sum from the law.
yers. Sometimes it is distinctly ad-
vantageOus to be a king
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

A dispatch from Cleveland says
Cassie Chadwick is having trouble
with her heart It appears that her
hypnotic eye also has lost a good deal
OF its cunning.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

A woman sufficiently practical to ask
for trading stamps with her marriage
license would want a wedding certffi-
cate that had divorce coupons at
tached.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

The son Of a British peer has be,
come a private in the United States
army. He must, for some queer rea-
son. be disinclined 10 marry a beau
tjful heiress.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

After AL, it isn't surprising that
State Chairman OdeI got only about
thirty or thirty-hve editors TO attend
his $50 dinner When editors take the
trouble 70 go cut TO dine. they want
something UnusnaI to taunt them
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

I dread to think OF my thirteenth
birthday" began Miss Passay.
Yes" replied Miss Pert, some
thing dreadful must have happened to
you then, or you wouldn't remember it
50 long"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

SPANS greatest bulI-fghter has
married an heiress and retired. The
paths Of glory lead but to the feet
of the magnate's daughter.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

Tess-"Percy We're was telling me
that he still hopes TO have the luck to
win you
Jess-''Well, Percy will find that il
takes more than luck to win me I'm
no rahle"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

Three hundred and twelve dollars
for a copy Of the "RubaiyatI" That
would pay for a good many jugs o.
wine beneath the bOugh.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

II Niagara ever goes dry" as
threatened, a large number Of luckless
backmen viii be compelled to go the
same way.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

The New York father whose daugh-
ter elO9ed with the coachman has one
consolation She might have married
IN impoverished count.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

Yale's football team made $4,000
last season. President Hadley is am
ply justified in standing up for the
noble game.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

The car is about ready to appeal
from a bureaucracy pretty commonly
dTUsk- to q zemsky sObOr.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

The Governor Of Vermont is accus-
ed Of wearing bagsy trousers That
may not. however. be a serious fault
If his courage doesn't sag.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

We heard a Kansas oil man with a
bad cold talking aboE- John D. Reba-
feller- Wonder who he means?
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24
A TJouTD TIE

Mol6y Where did yeh stsG
this bottle o. whisky? 'Tain't very
good"
Tough Tim-@Snaked It up at that
house yOnder. I've tasted better Hell
ioi What's this written on this bit o
paper that's pasted on it-Lquid
Lye'!"
MOldy Aike-'Well, I've allowed all
along that X the STUFF pretended to be
good yhisky, It wasn't telIin' the
truth"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

Every man feels that he is smart
enough to pass counterfeit money, and
refrains from doing so only from a
high sense OF. honor
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

A New York contemporary tells
about man who had his back broken
and lived He must be some relation
to a cold wave.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

An engineer on the Santa Re rail-
road eraWled under his engine recent
~ in order to clean IT While he wzs
down or the ground he found a purse
with so, 900 in it II is not true that
the management put IT there to en-
courage the roads engineers to keen
their locomotives clean
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24
Us WORLDLY Goods

De F1y-"Were you ever held up?"
Blazenway- Well, was relieved Of
ali I had"
De Fly-"WheTe was it2''
Blazenway-"At the altar
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

The New York papers are stfn &c
voting space to the discussion Of the
authenticity OF the Boston VeIas-
quez- When they get the question
settled to their satisfaction, We pre-
sumo they wiz take up the subject
o. the insanity Of Cain
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

Tess-She's been treated by one Of
those complexion specialists I would
mot let anybody like that experiment
with ny face.
Jess-Why not? de couldn't make
IL any worse.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24
EDIBLE SNAUS

Daughter-"The paper says that edi-
bic snails are advertised in English
restaurants"
Old Lady-'Land sakesl Who'd
ever "a thought that edible snails were
ut to eat?''
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

In Russia it is not necessary for the
students to play football for the pur-
pose Of working OF surplus energy.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

els your husband up yet?'' inquired
the early morning caller.
I'D like to say q few words to him. -
$50 would l. He hasn't come hons
yet"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

The waiter paused at the table Of the
hungry guest. viii you have soup or
fish2" be asked Don't be superb
cial," replied the hungry guest.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

Seeing is believing" remarked the
Wise Guy. yes, especially n a poker
game" replied the Simple Mug.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

II you haven't much sense. and a los
Of us haven't, talk as little as possible,
and 80 slow
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

We'll, Tommy" said the hostess.
when the meal was over, what is it,"
Where's the pie?'' demanded the lit
tie guest
Ma told me not to ask for two
pieces and 1 amt seen one yet"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

The duchess Of BarlborOugh's fluffy
skirts caught fire from a cigarette at
Lord GrenviIle's fancy dress ball the
ether night, but Viscount CrichtOn
tore on his coat and. wrapping it
around the legs Of the duchess. smoth-
cred the flames before a single blister
had been raised Where is Walter
Raleigh nOW2
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

You must get a good deal Of old and
ragged money here, said the man who
was paying his taxes.
We do responded the cashier in
the treasury department of the county
building.
Don't you dread to handle it2''
"On what ACCOUNT
Microbes"
MY dear sir. the atmosphere Of this
building kills the microbes the me-
ment they are exposed to it."
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

If a woman can't get a husband to
boss she may get a dog that she can
boss
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

The alleged expense Of Bachelor
Hyde's Louis XIV entertainment in
New York has now been reduced from
100000 TO O,OO0- The dinereBce
would seem 10 be fully worth the
somewhat fervid agitation Of the sub
Jet.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

Il heard you make use Of the word,
jackass,' sir; did you attempt TO apply
Il to me2''
NO, sir, I didn't You don't imagine
you're the only jackass in the world
do yOu?''
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24
DERAEGEl Nerves
DISTRESSING TROUBLES LEFT By
ST. VITUS AND GRIP.
women lAHIeted Tor Years b. strzuES
Spells OF Eumbness and Weakness
Reeovers Perfect Health

woman lA1aioted Tor Year, b StrauEu
Spells OF Numbness and Weakness
Receivers Perfect Health
When she was fourteen years old, Mrs,
Ida L. Brown had St. VItus' dance.
She finally got over the most noticeable
features Of the strange ailment, but was
still troubled BY very uncomfortable sen
sations, which she recently described AZ
follows:
zone hand, half Of my face, and half
Of my tongue would get cold and numb.
These feelings would come on, last for
about ten minutes, and then 60 away,
several times a day. Besides would
have palpitation Of the heart, and my
strength would get 50 low that cOuld
hardly breathe As time went on these
spells kept coming oftener and growing
worse The numbness would sometimes
extend over half my body"
How did you get nd of them?"
cit seemed for a long time as If never
could get rid Of them. It was not until
about six years ago that I found remedy
that had virtue enough Ia it to reach my
case. That was DR.. Williams Pink Pills
for Pale People, and they have since en-.
tirely cured me-
% Did it take long to effect 3 cure?''
''No hadn't taken the whole Of the
first box before saw a great improve
ment. So kept on using them, growing
better all the time until 1 had taken eight
boxes and then was perfectly well, and
I have remained in good health ever
since with one exception"
50 What was thats"
ooh that was when I had the grip.
[ was IN bed, under the doctors care,
for two weeks. When got up had
dreadful attacks Of dizziness. had to
grasp hold Of something or 1 would fall
right down I was Just miserable, and
when I saw the doctor was not helping
me, began to take DR.. Williams Pink
Pills again. In n short time they cured
me Of that trouble too, and I have never
had any dizzy spells since -
Mrs. Brown lives at No. 1T05 Dewitt
street, NATION, Illinois. Dr. Williams
Pink Pills are without an equal for the
rapid and thorough cure of nervous pros
tration. They expel the poison left IN the
system by such diseases rs grip and are
the best of tOnics In all cases of weak.
ness. They are sold by every druggist.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

Yes, my husband is greatly az
fiicted by insomnia"
What does he do for it2'
STAYS out until , O'Clock every
morning."
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24


ical Discovery. This medicine has been
yer a third of q century and numbers
lsand.
A tonic made up largely of alcohol
will shrink the corpu6cies of the
blood and make them weaker for
resistance A cod liver oil makes
the stomach groan because II is irTi-
taEng. What il needed is an alter
alive extract made Of roots and
herbs, without the use of alcohol,
that viii assist the stomach In as
similating or taking up from the
food such elements as are required
for the blood, also an Alternative that
viii assist the activity Of the liver
and cause il 70 throw off the poisons
IN the blood. When We have accom-
plished this we have put the system IN
3 fortified condition 50 strong that Il
can repel the germs of disease which
we find eveTyWbere-in the Etreet-cars,
the shops, the factories, the bedrooms,
wherever many people congTegate, or
where sunlight and good air does not
penetrate.
Accept no substitute for q Golden
Medical Discovery" There is nothing
- Just as good - for diseases of the
stomach, blood and lungs.
Dr. r V. PIECE Buffalo. n. Us
Dc1T StT-Eour Golden Medical DisooF-
eTy" Is . sick mans friend. For the past
seven years my health gradually failed.
lost NJ appetite, became nervous and deDili-
tstsd. very respondent and unable 20 sleep
No medicine helped me untl I tried Doctor
Pierceis Golden Medical Discovery. i put
new lie into NY veins and increased vitality
until could once more enjoy LIE and sttend
70 ny business Eight bottles Affected q con-
ptsts cure and gladly do ] recommend Il
NeTT sincerely yourA
GEO. n. TUEEH-t
S08 California St. Denver Colo
Il Financial Secretary international
Brotherhood Of TeamsteFE
The bible of the body Is the name
given to Dr.. Pierce's Common Sense
Medical Adviser, Of which over two
million copies have been sold. Send
q cents N one-cent stamps, for this
IOO0-page book II paper covers, or 81
stamps for the clOth-bound. Addres9
Dr.. r. V. Pierce, Buffalo. n. z
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

Just about the time a man thinks he
has acquired wisdom something hap
pens that renders another think neces-
sary.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

Her First Game-She Ctimidly)-
What made him strike then?
He Gmpatiently)-Oh, he belongs to
the union.
She Treasured OF course;
how stupid Of me!
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

ChOlly-When I saw how big a fish
I had hooked, I tell you, caught my
breath
Miss Tartun-You mad some bait for
that along, too, had you?
Mrs. Buggins- What do yeu find SO
aIluring about that club OF yours q?
Mr.. Buggins- Well. il supplies all the
comforts Of home and none Of the dis
comforts"
Mrs. BIobbs-''LEy husband has gone
IN for frenzieS finance" Mrs Slobbs
is Il POssible2'' Mrs- Biobbs-'-Yes,
he has consented TO take the man
agement OF our church fair
I'VE think baby viii make a great
politician
Why"
wei. he crawIs out Of everything
50 easily"
No man who is unable to eat spa
ghetti gracefully should attempt to
compile q book on table equitte-
After losing her self-possession IN
order to acquire an engagement ring =
girl acts like one possessed
A girl has an idea everybody would
rave over her beauty il her hair had
more curl TO it
The counterfeitsr doesn't care about
being paid back in his own coin
EFen In cattle ships il IS dou5tfu1 Il
1ns steers ali ride ia Storage
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

The couRterfeitsr doesn't care about
being paid back in his own coin
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

EFen IN cattle ships it IS doubtful r
lns steers ali ri6e ia Storage
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

A girl has an idea everybody would
rave over her beauty II her hair had
more curl to it
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

No man who is unable to eat spa
ghetti gracefully should attempt to
compile book on table equitte-
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

After losing her self-pOssession in
order to acquire an engagement rig =
girl acts like one possessed
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

oers increase with health or decrease with illness or nal
nutrition The best tonic for increasing the red blood
1usces and building up healthy tissue doubt Doctor
erces Golden Medical Discovery. This medicine has been
the market for third of century and numbers
Is cures by the thousand.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-03-24

THOMAS A, EDISON,
the inventor, IN map
ping out the prob
lens of the future, gives
1rrA v,lora IN the necessity
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-03-18
For the Spring.

Every day nearing spring sees more
Of the sort of dresses women term
little irrespective of size or style
those lightweight wooden gowns of
voile, etamines, eoliennes and the like.
For these stuffs have proved them
selves SO satisfactory that they're
strong again for spring, and they have
gotten themselves up in new little
ways that are charming.
Odd checks, small dots, checks and
dots together and small invisible
plaids have come-the very prettiest
sort of things for the walking suits
and shirtwaist suits they are being
made up in.
Most of them have skirts of the
new length-just touching all around
And that length is the hardest of all
to wear, for it seems too short to hold
up, is actually harder to hold up than
a trained skirt, yet aggravatingly
cuts around the edge unless you
do continually lift it. Dame Fashion
has promised us a change in 81 Irts.
but nothing radical seems to hA .th-
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-03-18
Ripeninq Cream.

What per cent of cream is the best
20 get a good quality of butter? That
depends a great deal on the condition
you have for getting the cream at the
factory, said c. F. Hostetter at a con-
vention. 1 find that 80 or 35 per
cent cream is none too heavy, especial
ly in the summer; the process of rip
ening is slower, consequently there is
less danger of developing too much
acid in the cream and it will ripen
better, churn more readily and pro-
duce a better favored butter.
A cream containing but 20 or 25 per
cent fat often brings very unsatisfac-
tory results; it is liable to become
overripe, thus injuring the flavor of
the butter. There is less danger of
affecting the quality of the butter from
than there is in the summer, the proc
ess of ripening is slower, consequent
iy there is less danger of developing
too much acid in the cream
This is perhaps the most important
factor in buttermaking, and the one
most difficult to explain, as no method
Of procedure can be recommended that
will be found applicable to all condi-
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-03-18
'Deudoir p
szHaConfidences

1t is said that a sound, ripe apple
placed in a tin cake box will keep the
leaves from drying or crumbling.
Sweeping with the carpet sweeper
will be more effectual if the sweeper
is pushed in the same direction as the
warp of a rug-not against it,
A cement made by adding a tea
spoonful of glycerin to a gill of glue
is a great convenience in the kitchen
and is especially good for fastening
leather, paper or wood to metal.
Milk will Immediately and effectu-
ally extinguish the flames from gaso-
line or any form of petroleum, since
it forms an emulsion with the oil
whereas water only spreads it.
Fried oysters are considered un-
wholesome, because, as usually pre-
Pared. they become soaked with fat.
To avoid this, immerse them COM
pletely in hot fat, so that they are in
stantIy scared over and the absorption
of fat prevented A frying basket ia
cilitateS the process.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-03-18
Milk Producers Meet.

The dairymen and milk shippers
contiguous to Chicago held a cOnven-
ton Feb. 10th for the purpose of estab-
fishing a permanent organization to be
known as THE Milk Producers Insti-
tute," with the object of closely mu-
tual exchange of thought, to educate
and instruct those interested in the
economic and sanitary production of
milk and for the discussion of all top
les, methods and matters relating to
the business, with a view to elevate it
as an industry to a higher moral,
physical and financial standard. The
Hon. d. d. Hunt, of De Kalb, chair
man of the convention, appointed an
organization committee of twenty-five,
one member from each line of rail-
road and branch over which milk is
shipped into Chicago and the remain
der at large. The majority of ad-
dresses were by Chicago men from
the Pure Food Commission and the
Dairy Inspectors Offices. The subject
however, that seemed most to interest
those in attendance was the question
of feeding wet malt to dairy cows and
many sharp, pertinent sa1lies, sea-
Soned by not a little wit, was in con-
stant play during the discussions that
followed the speeches. The milk ship
pers on the Northwestern line claimed
discrimination in favor of the 20"
shippers, as they are allowed to feed
wet malt and the Northwestern ship
pers are not. The claim was made by
the department that their force was
so small they couldn't cover all the
territory. Many wanted to know why
the city, if it attempted to enforce the
ordinance against wet malt, could not
make adequate appropriations to put
on sufficient men to do it right-to see
that all the territory was covered and
the law enforced with one as another
or not at all. Attention was called
to the fact that there are ample funds
available to do this, in fact that less
than one-third of such funds were ap-
piled to such inspection. The ques-
ton of dirty cans, the loss of cans
and unfair methods of dealers in gen.
era1 was more or less thoroughly dis
cussed. 1t is with view of adjust
ing these grievances that the organi-
zation is projected and the co-opera-
ton of every shipper will add just so
much to the effectiveness of the work
done and benefits secured directly and
indirectly.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-03-18
Washable Silk Underwear.

1t is very smart these days to have
all ones underwear, even to ones cor
set, washable, and the best of fancy
silk petticoats are now made of wash
able silk. The new washable silks
are triumphs in the art of silk making
and the wash silk shirt waists and
wash silk dress skirts would surprise
the old fashioned dressmaker of a few
years ago. who labored under the i'm
preston that silk would spot if wet.
Two-thirds of the summer silks are
washable.
They are promising many novelties
in the wash silk line and all women
should do well to watch out for them,
for they will be handsome and well
adapted to nice wear as well as to
common wear.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-03-18
The Tax on OIeo.

1t is said that the manufacturers of
oleomargarine are determined to fight
for a reduction of the tax on oleo
from ten cents pound to three or
at most four cents a pound They
propose to wage the fight on the score
that Congress has right to pass
revenue laws only for the raising OF
revenue and that a tax so high that
it is prohibitive prevents this. They
assert that the smaller tax would
raise more revenue 1t is not likely.
however, that Congress will take this
view of the case.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-03-18

coming just more and more astonlsh-
ing ways of getting fullness in about
the feet.
Short coats are more favored than
long in these light materials for the
suits to wear with blouses-
But everything is made of them;
they're even threatening to share
honors with silk, which has had every
thing it's own way for the shirtwaist
suits that everybody wears
Blue and brown-especially blue
are ttstaple" and will be worn a great
deal. but a dozen shades of violet are
promised for the earliest spring days.
Violet has been limited at, pretty
strongly, all winter
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1905-03-18
New TOYS.

Inventors are looking out for the
pleasure and profit of boys as well as
men. One of the new things especially
designed for them is a sled that re-
sembles a bicycle, in that it has a
saddle and pedals which are pushed
down and out alternately. The pedals
are shod with sharp teeth which bite
into the ice. The forward movement
of one pedal pulls the other backward
and the sled advances with speed
proportionate to the energy expended
by the rider. 1t is guided to the right
or left by increasing the pressure on.
the pedal