davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

ir. Walter Richardson. IF 'FRONT.'
vile. Va, had an attack Of diarrhoes
that came neal ending HIS life. His
physician had failed to relieve him
and the disease had become chronic
when he began using Chamberlain's
Collie, Cholera and Diarrhoea Rem.
edy. II soon cured him and he nov
recommends that preparation when
ever an opportunity offers. For sale
by all druggists
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Half the Ills that mar is heir to
come from indigestion. Burdook
Blood Bitters strengthens and tones
the stomach; makes indigestion i'm.
possible.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28
lmperfeet Digestion

Means less nutrition ard iii conse-
quence less vitality. When the liver
fails to secrete bile, the blood he.
comes impaired and the bowels con
stipatedstipated. Herbine will rectify
this; it gives tone to the stomach.
liver and Kidneys. strengthens The ap.
petite, clears and improves the com
plexion, infuses new life and vigor 70
the whole system. so cents a bottle.
For sale by o. G. Schaefer.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

When bilious try a dose Of Cham
berlain's Stomach and Liver Tablets
and realize for once how quickly a
first-class up-to-date medicine will
correct the disorder. Far sale by
All Druggists.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Mr. VIM. s.. Crane, Of California,
Md, suffered for years from rheuma-
tism and lumbago. He was finally ad-
vised to try Chamberlain's Pain Balm,
which he did and 1t effected a com.
pletc cure. This lIniment is for sale
by all druggists.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Dr. A. 7. Morrison. missionary for
New Mexico and a part Of old MeXi-
co OF the Methodist Episcopal church.
was at Alamogordo last Sunday and
preached al the First NJ. Il. church,
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Rush X. Gilbert, who has been with
w r.. Warren 4 Co. druggists, at
Aiamogordo, for the past year, has
resigned and gone to Weatherford,
Tex, 10 locate.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28
A Thousand Dollars Worth Of Good.

A Thousand Dollars Worth Of Good.
Il have been afflicted with kidney
and bladder trouble for years. pass.
ing gravel or stones with excruciatlng
PAIN says A. II. Thurnes, a well
known coal operator Of Buffalo, D.
81 got no relief from medicines until
| began taking Foley's Kidney Cure,
then the result as surprising. A lew
doses started the rick dust like fine
stones and now I have no ,ain across
my kidneys and | feel like a new man.
1t has done me a $1,000 worth of good.
For sale by Center Block-Depot Drug
store.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Accidents come with distressing
frequency on the farm. Cuts, bruises.
stings, sprains. DR.. Thomas Electric
Oil relieves the pain instantly. Never
safe without 1t.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

G. d. Frost. bookkeepor for the
Alamogordo Improvement company,
returned there from his visit to Hot
Springs, Ark.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28
couahs. Gold and Consultation.

Few people realize when takin,
cough medicines other than Foley's
Honey and Tar, that they contain
opiates which are constipating be-
sides being unsafe, particularly for
children. Foley's Honey and Tnr
contains no plates, Is safe and sure
and will not constipate. Don't be i'm
posed upon by taking substitutes,
some OF them are dangerous. For
sale by Center Block-Depot Drugstore.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28
oFE EoR cLAYroN-Allerl La,

OFF FOR cLAYTok-Albert Law.
renee. A. NJ Blackwell OF 81. Louis.
4. Floersheim. and II. 10. Alldredgo Of
Springer went down 10 Clayton Wed.
ncsday night from Trinidad over the
Colorado and Southern, at which place
they will look after business inter.
esta.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Harold ID Chlids left Silver City
FOR Annapolis, Md. where he viii
take examinations for promotion In
the navy Mr.. Childs has been In
Fort Rayard since December. 1904.
for tho henefi, Of his health and IL
o returning 10 duty.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28
Pleasant and Most Effective.

7. j., Chambers, Ed. vindlcator,
Liberty. Texas. writes Dec. 25. 1872:
with pleasure and unsolicited by
you. | bear testimony TO the curative
power OF Billiards. H~orehound Syrup,
| have used II In my family and can
chcerfully affirm II Is the most effec'
tive and pleasantest remedy for
coughs and colds | have ever used
25c, soc and sl.00.
For sale by o. G. Schaefer.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

It's the little colds that grow into
big colds, the big colds that end in
consumption and death. Watch the
little colds. Or. Woods Norway Pine
Syrup.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

A reception to the parents of the
pupils of the Lead avenue Methodist
Sunday school was given by the Off
GERS and teachers of the school in the
new church parlors at Albuquerque,
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28
THE TERRITORY

BURIED HER FATHER--Mias Ella.
abeth Mcintyre passed through IF
ton this week on her way 10 Gallup.
N. NJ. from Eldorado. Kan. where she
has Just buried her father. Her Ra.
ton friends have tho deepest sympathy
for her IN her bereavement.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Mr. and Mrs. Louis Klebe OF silver
City, went 10 Deming TO meet Mrs.
Klebe's sister. on her arrival at that
point from philadelphia.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

chamberlain's stomach and Liver
Tablets are becoming a Z, ,orite for
stomach troubles and consultation.
For sale by all druggists.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

ca by Judge Pope AT the New Mexico
military institute IN Roswell. Judge
Pope was formerly In the Philippines
and Is interested IN the youth of that
country.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Mrs, McCabe, widow OF Michael Nc.
Gabe, who for twenty years was
resident of Santa Fe and died about
nine years ago. was recently met by
a Santa Fe citizen In Los Angeles.
She aud family are doing well.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28
Weak


Are due 10 indigestion. kineiy-nine OF every
one hundred people who have heart trouble
can remember when II was simple indiges-
ton. n 10 . scientific fact that all cases Of
heart disease. not organic. are not only
,raceable 10. but are The direct result OF indi-
ges,Ion. Al food taken into the stomach
which fails Of perfect digestion fermen.s and
swells,he stomach. putting II up against the
heart. This interferes with the action Of
tho heart, and In the course Of time that
delicate but vital organ becomes diseased.
Mr. d. Ksubis. Of Nevada. o., ssys: had stomach
trouble and ~ss IN . bad state 81 had heart trouble
with II. took Kotol Dyspepsia Cufs tor about four
months and " cured me,
kodol Digests What You Fat
and relieves the stomach Of all nervous
strain and the hear, Of all pressure.
Bottles only. 800 Sir. holding ~ times the trial
hixo. which ssils i0r SOC
Prepared by {. o. Dewitt &oo.. CHICAGO.
For sale at Center Block.Dapot drug
store and Winters Drug Co
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28
LAS vEoAN THINKS PROS.

PECTS Gooo--A, strauss, of Las We.
gas. who Ia stopping in Roswell, re.
turned recently from the Day
ton oil field and he thinks
The prospects, are good. Tho
OIL seems 10 be- found At d depth OF
about aix hundred feet. Rope com
Ing through the oil and Chen through
six hundred feet Of water Ii SO satin.
rated with crude OH that the oil can
be squeezed out Of t. The well IA a
half mile from the Dayton townsite.
Roswell Record.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

The annual anniversary ball OF Sill
yer city lodge No il3, b. =. 0. IT,,
will be given on W~ashington's birth.
day February POD.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Editor +. Il. Unholz. Of the Gallup
Republican, arrived In Albuquerque,
on a business visit accompanied by
his wife.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28
Found a Cure for Indigestion.

| use Chamberlain's Stomach and
Liver Tablets for indigestion and
find that they suit my case better
than any dyspepsia remedy I have
ever tried and l have used many diff
ferent remedies. l am nearly fifty.
one years OF age and have suffered
a great deal from indigestion. l
can eat almost anything I want to
now. George w. Emory. Rock
Mills. Ala. For sale by All Druggists.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

The literary society known as the
"Dons' met at the residence Of
Frank Strong. In Albuquerque and
held an enjoyable session.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Edward Ehle. of Albuquerque, who
vas formerly clerk of the Claire hotel.
may soon engage In business for him
self In Albuquerque.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Manager |. Sparks, OF the Santa Fe
telephone company. has ordered a
new switchboard for the local ex-
change.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Bodily pain loses Its terror II you've
a bottle Of DR.. Thomas Electric Oil
In the house. Instant relief in cases
of burns, cuts sprains. accidents Of
any sort.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Miss Jeanette Walton has return
ed to Albuquerque from Belen, where
she was the guest OF Miss Anita Beck.
or for a few days.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Captain R. c. Woodruff, the well
known wool and s%heepman, is recov.
ering from a serious Illness at Alba
qiiefque.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Perfecto Jaramillo of Palma, asses.
sor of Torrance county, is In Santa Fe
on official business and also visit
ing friends.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28
Spoiled Her Beauty,

opVFtu Her Beauty,
Harriet Howard, OF 209 w. 34th st.,
New York, at n time had her beau-
ty spoiled with skin troubles. She
writes: Il had Salt Rheum or Ecze-
ma for years, but nothing would cure
1t, until | used Bucklen's Arniea
Salve." A quick and SURF healer for
cuts, burns and sores. Csc at all drug
stores.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28
A Timely Tonic.

At this seaso Of coughs and cod
II Is well to know that Foley's Honey
and Tar Is the greatest throat and
lung remedy. II cures quickly and
prevents serious results from a cold.
For sale by Center Block Depot Drug,
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

John w. Corbett. OF Mountainalr.
probate clerk OF Torrance county.
transacted business In tn. capital
city.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Miss Charlotte King. daughter OF
Mr.. and Mrs A. J, King, left Alamo
gordo to continue her schooling in
Nashville. Tenn.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Chaplain H. e. Gavttt Of Fart Bay.
ard performed the ceremony which
united In marriage Miss Louisa +.
Larson of the Mimbres. Grant eoun
~ aud Robert - Rhea of chlllicothe,
Mo.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Superintendent Harry w. Wright
arrived in Albuquerque from the
American Lumber company's woods
in the Zuni mountains.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Homer w schofield. manager OF
the A%lamogordo telephone exchange,
went 10 III Paso on business.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Mr.. and Mrs. J. r. Lipe arrived in
Silver City from their home in In
dianapolis, Ind.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Neglect colds make fat grave
CARDS" DIR, Woods Norway Pine
Syrup helps men and women To a hap
py. viporlus Old age.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

w. j.. Cardwell of Albuquerque, was
looking after business interests IN
Santa Fe.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Owing to the scarcity of wood, coal
will hereafter be used as fuel at the
court house in Silver City.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

The Mimbres river valley suffered
severely az II result OF recent floods,
but The people are In no wise dis.
couraged, and are going right ahead
with the work Of repair and improve
ment
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Women love a clear. healthy com.
plexion. Pure blood makes IL. Bur
dock Blood Bitters makes pure blood.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Judge and Mrs. G. NJ. Bayne left
albuquerque for Ralon after spend
ing several days in the Duke City.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28
6elei;:y!i;;;;::::;:;;;:::;;;;;:::: : e: e: e.: Il; Il: !;
:; :; :: (gre'' = II i i; ! !!;i /
cesn6ssiaa. s owtGhts IL

Adjutant General w. II. Whiteman
of Santa Fe spent a day at Las
Cruces on national guard business.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28
ChamberIain's Collie, Cholera and
Diarrhoea Remedy

= nSt'Cdy
The uniform success Of this remedy
has made 1t the most popular prepa'
ration in S for bowel complaints,
1t Is everywhere recognized as the
one remedy that can always be Deepen.
ded upon and that is pleasant to take.
For sale by all druggists,
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28
Headaches and Neuralgia from Colds

Laxltive Bromo Quinine, the world
wide Cold and Grip remedy, re.
moves the causo Cali for the full
name and look for the signature Of
IL w Grove. 25c.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Victor M. Grammar, optician, has
arrived In albuquerque from Zanes-
vile. O., and has rooms in the Engle.
wood lodging house.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Mrs. Ira b. Bennett treated a num-
Der Of her lady friends to a very en-
joyable tally-ho party at Albuquerque.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28
DIR. Viewers Treatment.
Syrup for the blood; Cerate for skin eruptions.

The postoffice department has not
closed any deal for the location of
The Alamogordo office.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28
NEW OPERA AousE-plnns

NEW OPERA HousE-Plans for
tho new opera house for Roswell have
been completed. RoFwell has been
without an opera house for some time.
The Patton opera house burned about
one year ago and the big adobe
house that was fitted up for m opetn
house was destroyed by the flood
last October.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28
Boys life saved from Membranou,

Boys lite saved from Membranous
Group.
my little boy had a severe attack
OF membranous Group, and only got
relief after taking Foley's Honey and
Tar" says C. w. Lynch, a prominent
citizen Of winchester. Ind. "He got
relief after one dose and | feel that Il
saved the life Of my boy" Don't be
imposed upon by substitutes offered
for Foley's Honey and Tar. For sale
by Center Block-Depot Store.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

The Albuquerque athletic club is
being well supported by the people q
that city.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

C. c. Bray,on arrived In Silver City
from Fiat River. Mo, to visit friends
there.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

The Hudapeth sisters, who have
lived at Alamogordo, for some time,
left for Greeley, Colo. where they will
live in the future.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

Or. G.. w. Harrison of Albuquerque
went up to Santa Fee.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

George Shaub. Of Chilli, transacted
business in Albuquerque.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28
A GUARANTEED CURE FOR PILES

Itching. Blind. Bleeding or Protru-
ding Piles Your druggist will return
money II pAZo OINTMENT fails to
cure you In 8 TO IA days. soc.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1905-01-28

A baby girl was a welcome arrival
at the home of Charles J. Parsons
in Santa Fe.
Holbrook argus., 1905-11-04
On the Road to Wealth.

Pter Gibbs had never known wealth, but, on the other hand, he had never felt the prick of poverty. This, some people said, was because he was con- additionally impervious to bricks of any sort.
 Having a hard time to get along this winter?" asked an interested neighbor, who came upon MT. Gibbs summing himself on the post office steps one cold day.
 "Why, mo-" said Peter, cheerfully. "I've got the promise of some wood- saving down to Mis- Rand's when get round to it, and my wife she's got the promise of some washing when her rheumatiks are better, and my boys most fifteen, and we expect he'll be teaching district school in two, three years, and Aunt Mary has just written t can wait another year before pay ing her that six-fifty I've been under obligations for since she was here a few years back. Take it by and large, I'm feeling pretty forehanded."
Holbrook argus., 1905-11-04
Too Early.


 There is an interesting anecdote given in the Boston Herald of a Mir. Capen, an old resident of one of the seaport towns of Massachusetts. He Is now employed as driver of the coach which conveys travellers from the trains to the hotel.
 One Saturday evening in the latter part of September three men arrived on the afternoon train from Boston. MT. Capen was sitting on the drivers seat of the coach, waiting to take them to their destination. They looked about the station, and evidently were not favorably impressed by the sur roundings, for one man was heard to say:
 "What desolate country! We cer- tainly have come to the jumping-off place this time. don't believe we can even get Sunday paper in this place, can we, driver|
 There was silence for a moment, and then MT. Capen drawled out, "Wal not tonight"
Holbrook argus., 1905-11-04
Behavior of a Little Dog.

The peculiar behavior of pretty lit- tie dog, sort of half-breed spaniel and Scotch terrier, at Perth General Sta tion is the cause of much interest to travellers and others in that station. It appears that some weeks ago the animal leaped from the Aberdeen to the Huston train, leaving Aberdeen at 2 p. m. and due at Perth at 4. No owner for the dog appeared, and the station officials took him in hand. The officials called the little wanderer "Jack," and he is now great pet In the station. Every day at the same hour "Jack" meets the Aberdeen train. He runs along the whole train barking violently, as if looking for some one Having made survey of the train, "Jack" retires to his place, and pays no heed to any other arrival during the whole day. But as regular as the clock "Jack" is at the arrival of the Euston train.
Holbrook argus., 1905-11-04
The Tie Magnetic.

And now, darling" said the newly accepted lover, "tell me how you ever came to be attracted to such a plain, everyday man as myself? What could you see in me to love"
 The beautiful girl blushed and look ed down at the diamond sparkling on her finger. "Well," she said at last, hesitating.
 "Yes, yes-what was it?" exclaimed the impatient lover.
 Because you tie your ascots so beautifully. I never could make mine look right Will you show me how, dear? ?"-New York Press.
Holbrook argus., 1905-11-04
Anti-Kissers in Mexico.

Civilization is spreading in Mexico. A little red button worn by some 300 women, old and young, married and single, in the City of Mexico, signifies membership in what is known as the Anti Kissing League. Members of the league take solemn pledge not to kiss each other, in public or in private, their contention being that kissing Is contagious, or rather, the means of conveying contagious diseases from oue fair lip to another.
Holbrook argus., 1905-11-04
Noted for Her Beauty.

The Countess Of Northbrook, until short while ago known as Viscountess Barring, is looked upon as one of the handsomest women in London society. During the life of the late Earl says The Tattler, she always spent much of her time with him at his country home, in Hampshire, and there shone as the most brilliant hostess in the country, arranging the shooting parties entirely herself and experimenting the very smallest detail as to the com. fort of her father-in-law's guests. The earl was devoted to her and was never tired of showing off her portraits and pictures, of which he had no fewer than fifty different kinds, and always talked of her as his beautiful daugh- ter-in-law."
Holbrook argus., 1905-11-04
Feminine Logic.

After the tea things had been clear ed away the young wife came over and sat on hubby's knee, put her plump arms about his neck and kissed him half a dozen times.
 "Well, what is it now?" he queried.
 "A new dress, dear," she answered.
 But don't you know that times ,are awful hard just at present?' he que ried.
 "Of course I do," she replied. That's why want to give the poor dress maker something to do."
Holbrook argus., 1905-11-04
It Pays to Advertise.

T thought your husband had left you," said Mrs. Brown to Mrs. Smith.
 He did, but I advertised and got him back. It was very simple"
 What did you say in your advertise. ment"
 Simply this: Five thousand dol lars cash paid for prompt return of property missing from 8 Blue street. No questions asked He needed the money and came himself."-Commer. cial Tribune.
Holbrook argus., 1905-11-04
Two Sorts of Colony.

Observe the difference between the British and the American colony at any place. The British colony is a thing apart; it holds aloof; is respect ably conventional and exclusive. The American colony assumes no degree of aloofness. The members mingle with the native element. Their dance is divine. It's popularity grows, and it's fair daughters marry.-Bystander.
Holbrook argus., 1905-11-04
Both Sides of It.

"Get a divorce if you want to-" ex- claimed the angry husband. q can easily get another wife, and I've been on earth long enough to know that one woman is just as good as another, if not better"
 And l." coldly replied his better half, "have been on earth long enough to know that one man is just as bad as another if not worse"
Holbrook argus., 1905-11-04
The Innocent Kid,

Little Willie-Papa, is ventrilo. quist a man who talks to himself in a low tone?
 Pa-No, my boy A ventriloquist is a man who can speak in such way that his tones seem to come from an. other person.
 Little Willie-That explains what sister said to George last night. She told him that when no one was around he was a very different person.
Holbrook argus., 1905-11-04
His Mistake.

Ut is strange that man like MT. Braynes, with so many good ideas as to government, should command so little attention in public life."
 "Yes," answered Senator Sorghum. "He is one of the people who figure out how things ought to be, instead of finding out how they are going to he and laying his plans accordingly."- Washington Star.
Holbrook argus., 1905-11-04
In Honor Bound.

q ain't dirty by choice, ma'am,'' the hobo explained. "Pm bound by honor. I wrote q testimonial for a soapmaker once an promised ter use no other.'"
 "Well, why don't you use that?" de. manded Mrs. Goodley.
 Because, ma'am, dat firm failed in S7."-Philadelphia Ledger.
Holbrook argus., 1905-11-04
Wanted Sympathy.

"Whats the matter, my poor wom. an?"
 "Why, no one seems to have a good word for my husbands work, ma'am." Poor woman! It is really too bad! What does your husband do?"
 He's a second story man, ma'am." -Yonkerg Statesman.