Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-12-13

By the way, I've always believed you
gave it push behind
II wasn't within fifty feet Of you
when you fell. You remember the
boys, don't your"
"And what Of the boys?"
"They called you a whale and an
elephant and lots of other things, and
one Of the newspapers next day had a
picture of you as you stood on your
head. Such things hurt my feelings"
"Your feelings be hanged and the
boys and the newspapers too. If L
want to ride a bike in my own back
yard I'll do it in spite Of all the people
on the face Of this green earth. didn't
know when I first came home whether
l would ride or not, but being you have
said what you have I'll do it now If it
kills me. Get that yaller eyed old cat
out Of my sight or I'll be the death of
himw
The cat made bolt for the back
yard, and Mr.. Bowser went up to his
bedroom and changed his clothes, or at
ANOOb hAo tAOuoClO. IL w dO a w al Ii
evening for light fall and he left off his
coat and vest. The bike was led down
stairs and through the kitchen and into
the back yard, and then Mr.. Bowser re-
turned to the sitting room for a mo-
ment to say:
Understand me, now. If you try to
play any tricks on me will not be re-
sponsible for results"
"But l shall stay here in the house."
'See that you do. You are just the
sort of wife that would throw an ak at
her husband when he wasn't looking"
When he had disappeared the cook
came upstairs to ask:
lis there to be an explosion, ma'am? 2"
mo; 1 hope not"
"But he'll jump on that things back
when it isn't looking, won't hep
HE may, but no explosion will fol-
low You stay in the kitchen and be
ready to help me carry him in"
rs it the suicide he's going to COM
mitY'
mot exactly, but he'll probably have
fall"
Dear me, but what a man-what a
man! Can't we give him some chloro-
form or laudanum or something to
keep him quiet?"
Mr.. Bowser laid out programme.
He didn't propose to make a show Of
himself, holy or otherwise. He knew
that Mrs. Bowser would be peering
from one of the back windows and that
some of the neighbors might be rub
bering, and he said to himself that he
must be cool and calm.
He first walked all around the bike
Then he walked back the other way
Then he lifted the front wheel and
spun it around.
Then the hind one.
Then he led the bike once around the
yard in order that it might get ac-
quainted with it's surroundings.
Then he led it up to an old candle
box and was ready to mount.
There was no hurry. He looked at
the setting sun and made up his mind
that the morrow would be fair.
He looked back at the sitting room
windows and could see nothing Of Mrs.
Bowser.
Then he slowly, coolly, calmly and
deliberately gave himself a lift and
sank into the saddle waiting for him.
His feet struck the pedals all right, and
he began working them, but what fol-
lowed he will never remember. Some
thing wabbled, something rose up on
! its hind legs and howled, somebody
swore and called out to heaven to have
mercy on his soul, then there was a
rush and crash and a bump, and
when Mr.. Bowser came to he was ly-
ing on his back on the kitchen floor,
and he heard the cook ask in faroff
voice:
did you see him when he took the
grand flop, ma'am? l thought it was a
rhinoceros sailing through the air."
Hush, Jane" was the reply. ''NIr.
Bowser is not dead. The shock has
only made his neck six inches shorter,
and he will live to frolic again. Hold
that camphor nearer his nose while
pick the grass and clOthespins out Of
the back Of his neck M. QUAD.
Wasted.
Tess-May Hoamley is making just