The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-04-15
= '%s:sEIksHES
Aama11' f0N

.o. oes MT reuben Haybrick keen
poardersT HE takes 'em hnt he
don't keep 'em."--Chicago Chronicle
Ella-He comes of good fa,nuv
doesn't hef stella-Yes, he's the opIv
ming 1 know against it-rown
Topics.
Johnny-Pa, is 1t wrong to steo,
from a trust? Johnny's Pa-Don't LEI
the question bother you, my son. It's
MISUNDERSTANDING Ledger.
Gourmand latter a table d'hote,--
Anything else, waiter? Waiter-one
more peach, sir, and you'll ave eat
the menu.-London Bystander.
"Dey amt no SIGH thing ez pitt,n.
married In heaven" Course dey ain't
Don't de Bible tell you it's a place or
peace en- restT-Atlanta Constitution
Mrs. Hatterson-I didn't see you at
the lecture on "The Simple Life" Mrs.
Outterson-Why, no; l had no idea II
was going to be such a swell affair
Brooklyn Life.
Wife-It is so kind Of you to put on
my boots for me. Kneellng Husband
tugging away)-Its a-a-pleasure,
my dear. Still, I'm glad you're not a
centipede.-Pick-Me-Up.
Miss Riter-Could you use ANYTHING
In your Household Department tn S
week? Country Editor-Yes. we could
handle a couple of dozen of fresh eggs
nicely.-New York Times.
What conclusion does that cam.
paign orator reach In his argument?"
He never arrives at a conclusion.
He merely stops now and then to take
breath. "-Washington Star.
Willie-Teacher told us to-day that
there's a certain kind O. tree that
grows out O. rocks can't remember
what 1t was. His Pats a family
tree, 1 guess.-Philadelph Ledger.
The Irish lady declared to the mag
istrate that the defendant had stolen
her hen. How dc you know it is
your hen" asked the Judge. Know
itp' cried the irate lady. II have
known that hen ever since 1t was an
egg"
you probably don't remember me"
began the self-made man proudly
but twenty years ago. when l was a
poor, humble boy, you gave me q
message to carry" Yes, yes,
cried the busy man. where's the
answer"
"You are the first one to whom
have shown this poem," the young
joet went on; 81 was wooing the muse
asst night" Poor fellowW repllel
he editor, handing back the manu-
script. "It's too bad she rejected you
Chicago Journal.
, Hicks-How do you happen to b'
|, ;oing fishing on Friday? l though
you believed Friday was an unlucky
lay. Wicks-Well, always have
, But It occurred to me this morning
hat perhaps 1t would be unlucky TO-
he fish.-Solnerville Journal.
I'm afraid you're not wise,' sait
The fair girl. why" demanded tn
persistent sutton. Because a word t
e he wise is sufficient and l have sail
] Nor to you" Yes, but I'm wis
D enough to know that woman's No
: nay eventually mean yes "-Phila
lelphia Press.
> At the end OF thirty years Hiram
q had accumulated a fortune. His wifi
md daughter were delighted. For
s ,aid they, with becoming modesy, w
/ low not only have money enough I
cut a splurge, but poor dear papa
TOO broken down to appear among ID
2 best people. "-Life.
: "Its so long since you last Gale
l. 1pon me was beginning to think 20
r we're forgetting me-" said Miss Pechi
!. IS she came down to the young ma
; n the parlor. "I'm for getting yon,
e eplied the ardent youth. land it's 70
= retting you that I've called to-nish
d Can I have youT-Kennebec Journa
s The passenger who had been holdin
himself I'D by a strap sat down IN
seat that had just been vacate'
There is plenty Of room, ma'am.' D
e said to the pudgy, little matron sittin
d ,ext Don't move" 1--WE don't nav
II o." she said, with a cheerful smli'
b .rva own the house we live in."-Ch
u cago Tribune.
u az tell We what" asserted Old Ma
Is Sn,g0ets. that there painter felier
lie sne artist" what impressed 20
a. hut his work." "Well, Their was
O. nictur he called The Rainstorm' a
swan. II was that natral that
hadn't looked at it three minutes o.
:, sora NV corns begin hurtn' me-
- Cleveland Leader.
d prosperity" said DR.. slighcem, u
,,rant surgeon. "There is altogeth'
n TOO much prosperity 1t is killing Dus
. .p am what wayT asked u
II other "why, sir, almost anyoo'
- a9ord 10 have appendicitis now
J. davs and, in consequence all Oh Il L
+ host patients regard it as too com mo
"a refuse to have it"-Chicago III
une. - ~,
Gentleman who was in the han
4. ~ dining daily at certain res'au, 80. a.
aid to the waiter ian lrishman'; ..
= Stooa Of tipping you every day. ~
N viii give you your tip In Jun
a. the end of the month. won
: rou moind paying me in advan'
b. sorr?" "well! that is rather a s'ranl
request. However. If you are IN nv. W"
&c some money now. here's half
crown for you. but did you m ,.'.r',
tie nsys "Oh. no. SORT, but am lea'i'
~ L.. ..,nvroxv /"