Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-12-30
UP To- DATE WRITERS


A few days ago a young New York
person Of the alleged writeress variety
cribbed lot of Yuletide bijouterie and
junk from the counters of a New York
department store. They got her and es-
corted her back to the Office. Out OF her
limpid orbs she shot at them succession
of martyred gazes. They asked her
wherefore she had swiped She replied,
dulcetly. but with note OF reproach in
her voice, that she had merely been en-
gagged in collecting and collating material
for q Sunday story on the subject.
How Dead Easy It is to Nail the Goods
in New York Department Stores With
out Being Nailed" However, she was
pinched. Those who heard her little Sun
day story" narration remarked soto voce
unto each other that the yarn she put
up had certain vague Psychological
aroma. From present appearances it looks
as II the lmpid-Orbed young thing of
the wTiteress persuasion Is going TO be
compelled to do her bit.
Only a little while before that a plain
looking, sedate-acting young thing. skirted
out In Chicago, was caught in the act
of transferring a whole lot OF merchan-
disc OF value from a novelty counter to
the inside Of an umbrella which she held
ferule-downward and in such q posltio
that the parachute made a good receiver
for the frisked goods.
This one. too. was ushered back to the
office, and asked what for She similarly
was there with the gazelle stare, and she
gave yersimilitude to her little screech by
weeping copious liquid saitiness. She told
EN- that she was engaged in settlement
work In Chicago; that she had frequently
In such work. come into contact with pro-
1essaonal female shoplifters who had told
her that they found 1t unable to resist
the temptation to swlpe the pretty things
they saw displayed on the counters; and
that she In ha nf hors 10
mert work, had been desirous OF find
Ing out just how it felt to grab goods
that didn't belong to her, so that, after
finding out. she might know just exactly
how the professional counter-fr.gkers en-
Joyed the funntness of getting away with
stun that didn't belong to them
The vulgar store person who listened
to this dainty little exposition failed to
dissolve In tears. On the contrary, they
summoned one OF those eight-foot fur
capped Chicago cops, who took the shrink
ing young thing engaged In settlement
work" to little room where there was
Just bench and tin wash basin, and
the latest reports to the case indt-
cate that the inQuisitive young creature
with the settlement bug is going to find
out as further experience. how 1t feels
TO wear clothes made out of striped sail
cloth.
1t may not be long before the news
papers will be publ shng interesting little
news Items something like the following:
young authoress. whose recent storiette,
HOW Played Bughouse and Got Away
with 1t. attracted such wide attention, was
the victim of an annoying incident yesterday
AFTERNOON at a well-known local jewelers.
shop. Miss Scribblerot 1t seems, had been
commissioned by one of the best known of
the sunday newspapers to devise O. novel
story Tor early publication. Inspired by the
highest motives, therefore. Miss Scribblerot
late yesterday afternoon walked into the
jewelers. establishment and asked to be
shown a number OF diamond tiaras. Several
magnihcent tlaras OF very great value were
placed on the cushioned tray before the In
genious young writeress. but, after exam
lining them all carefully, she decided that
none Of the articles exactly suited her pur-
pose and started to leave the store. Before
she mad reached the exit door, however, the
somewhat boortsh and uncouth clerk who
mad waited upon the clever young woman
discovered that one Of the tiaras that he
had displayed was missing He Immediate
ly set up wholly inconsiderate, not to saw
unkfnd and malicious. alarm. and. speeding
toward the door. he-we grieve to relate it
grabbed the profoundly mortified and cha
grined Miss Scribblerot by the arm and
dragged her to the rear OF the establish
ment, where the proprietor was seated at
MS desk The proprietor himself, not at
nrst 1uliy experimenting just who Miss
we're and ordered that Miss Scribblerot he
searched This. Of course. was too much
for Miss Scribblerots sense of the ridicu-
ious. ana she burst into peal upon peal of
the merriest imaginable laughter, at the
same time producing. from inside her waist.
the diamond tiara over which all of the to-
do had been raised. Then she laughin2Iy
explained to the proprietor what her pur-
pose had been-the writing, of course of
clever little Sunday story on How Easy It
Is to Cop the Gig-lamps at Miffany's When
the Bonehead Clerks Are Looking the Other
way. We regret to state that the pro-
pr1etor. being business man of a some
what oid-fashioned and conservative sort
was quite time In understanding the ne
cesslty for this article being written at all
ana ne even went to the length of stating
that If such experiments were to be made he
greatly preferred that they should be tried
on somewheres eise'-we quote his words
This bourgeoise way Of looking at the mat
ter not unnaturally vexed Miss ScribbIerot
considerably, and she left the jewelers. es-
tapiishment in state of great visible an
noyance, declaring that she would for a
sure thing, surreptitiously extract some ar
ucie OF great value from the displayed goods
or the inconsiderate proprietor's bitter rival
right down the street, and thus show him
the lnconsiderate one-up. It Is needless to
state just how genuinely sorry Miss Scrib-
pierots myrtads Of friends here are over the
violence which was done to her sensibilities
by the uncouth jewelers. clerk and the de-
cldediy ungenerous proprietor of the estab-
Hshment."