The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1905-12-07
The Two Macs Testified.

From Mr.. Dooicy's Treatise on Life
Insurance Investigations" In Golfers
Weekly.
Mex come Misther McGauI.
"Misther Hughes-Misther McGaul.
ia lookin' over ye'er books I find that
most ~ h business OF ye'cr comp'ny
was bribin' ligisiachures. VIII ye have
tn goodness n hardihood 10 explain
"Misther McGaui-Tm glad TO.
Gintiemen. what ye 80 properly u
corscly call brides was RELY n fund
Or tn difinse ~ our country against
Its %thraitrous inimies. Ye think I arnc
won hundred thousand n year Iinvistin'
tn money ~ tn poor. Ye wrong me.
That II n job thousands ~ men wud'
pay rr the privilege Nv doin'. TIL rake
dhraw me small but sufficient stipend
IN n pthrite. ! am an cxpeerynced. ~
to-date skilled pathrite. larned Tn
thrade an n boy. I love tn Tag. I wud
die fr 10 almost Rather thin see II
dishonored. I wud sacrifice ivry dollar
In u Treasury over an above salaries.
rint. fixed charges. commissions. I'm
Unrest an cigar money. But I am no
dhreamer. I am n practical pathrite.
I am no C~aseybianca. I'm more like
washin'ton, Lincoln. an'-let US say
Addicks. Does n vicious l~igfsiachure
seek to desthroy tn boolwarks Nv our
liberty. which In life insurance. We
Sind thin n bunch Nv tn patriotic leaf
lets issued be tn threasury department.
an they desist ontil their hotel bills
comes due again. At Albany. At Har-
risburg. at Springfield. Mt livery cinter
Nv sedition i have n gallant little
spartan band stampin' out tn vipers.
TIL comp'ny supplies tn stamps. whin
tn Bryan craze ar-rose an threatened
tn very heart Nv our raypublic-th'
dollars-who shtud between fair CO.
lumbya an thin that wud despoil herr
on'y me McGaul. that's all. Onaided
an alone. without askin' "A clint firm
amy man, I whit at wanst to tn
threasurcr Nv tn comp'ny. BILL" says
I. have ye much money In tn dhraw-
err" "A good DEAL" says he. Does
amy ~ Il belong TO ye or me-" Q y /
About Ave dollars" says he. Thin"
says l. sind IN r-rest owe TO Tn ray
publican campaign comfy" i says. tn
nations honor must an shall be pre-
sarved." says I. An gintlemen. tn
joke Nv Il was hat half tn none be-
longed TO dimmycrnts. Wasn't that q
good wan. though? Haw. haw! There
they were out west losin' their jobs an
havin' their morgcdges foreclosed all
rr love " Bryan, an here was their
money down east fightin' again thin.
They beat thlmsiivcs. An they din't
now IL. Twas n noble joke. i a
hardly keep firm laughin' now TO think
w IL. An ther we nr-rc. Gintlcfnen on
me sacred wurrud ~ honor-what?
That's the same as sayin' over tn left:
o. very we'll
AN he stepped down nj Mister Me-
Curdle whit into tn dock or o tn
stand. WHICHEVER ye like.
"'Misther NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. McCurdie
who are tn officers Nv ye'er cofnp'nyT
"Mccurdle-I am president. me old
est son IN first vice PRESIDENT: me boy
Percy In th~reasurer. The other officers
ar-rc Bill McCurdle, Mike McCurdle.
Lucy McCurdle. Alick McCurdle. Dolly
McCurdle. Erastus McCurdle. 81 Nc
Curdlc. Daisy McCurdlc. Emmiline Nc
Curdlc. Pet McCurdle. Uncle Jake Nc
Curdle. Aunt Mary Ann McCurdle.
Cousin Sam McCurdle. me son-in-law.
me nephows. Baby McCurdlc mot yet
namcd). an our oil house dog. Tower
McCurdie. They have all been brought
up in tn business. I've been careful
about that. As soon as wan Nv thin
is weaned I place a toy rake-on In
their hands an teach thin TO use IL.
Ne youngest gran'chlld has tn pen
wiper privilege. Me Cousin Maria's
baby boy sells pins to tn policy hold
ers to pin up their policies or take tn
place ~ buttons. An so on. That is
why Il II called "A mutual society. YS
catch tn idccg'"