Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1905-12-18
THAT GR|D|RON FEAST
The Famous Washington Club
Jokers Hold a peace
Conference"
HAVE FUN WITH CABINET
AVE FUN WITH CABINET
Fake Wireless Messages and "Thousht
Tran.ference" Giving What is Pur-
porting to Be Going On In Minds Of
che National Leaders, Amuse the
Quests.

Prominent guests were entertained
By the Grldiron club in Washington
the other night at the annual fall din
her, says Washington dispatch to the
+ New York Tribune. The table at the
New Willard was spread for more than
4 200 persons, among whom were the
vice president nearly all the member
of the cabinet, foreign ambassador
and ministers, senators and representa-
dives and prominent people from ever.
part Of the country.
The programme was unusually a.
tractive, and the wit and aumor, til,
various skits. the songs and til
speeches all tended to make the Dime
4 memorable occasion among the man
given by this club Of Washington COZ
respondents.
A peace conference" composed Q
members OF the club, endsavored t.
settle disputes between many PROM
nent guests wi were per,,onated b,
members Of the club, but all was IN !
awaiting until finally q messenger from
w. T. Jerome Of New York, with bol
tie Of chloroform, put them to sleep.
The initiation Of three new member
AFFORDED an opportunity for real roasts
It had reference to the recent letters o!
the president to cabinet officers reiat
|, ing to the dissemination OF news by
them. Three cabinet officers were per
sonated, and they formed 9, grand in
quisitorial commission, putting on the
rack the baby members for daring to
inquire what had taken place in cab
met meetings The whole blame was
finally placed on ''head devil, sup
posed to represent Secretary Loeb, who
had blundered'' In sending g. letter die
tated by the grand inquisitor. h
Several dispatches were received in
4 fake wireless telegraph apparatus.
They were read. greatly to the amuse-
sment Of the guests. Among these were
the following:
Hon. William B. Allison Please advise
mo on this point: Do you think SEN
president?
ROBERT B. LA ToLLETTE.
Madison. Wis.
Robert Bacon, Assistant Secretary Of
etate--Aren,t you glad to get out of 1t?
GEORGE w. PERKINS.
& NV York.
Hon. Charles Dick-P1saSs gst President
Roosevelt TO duplicate to me the message
President Harrison wrote about falling
outside the breastworks.
1 Columbus. o.
/ Hon William II. Taft, Secretary Of War:
your love. but why did you kick me down
stairs? GEORGE B. COX.
Z Cincinnati, o.
A Thought transfeE1sds act Afforded
another opportunity to pass quips upon
the prominent guests. Among the
thoughts thus transferred and utter
ed by members, who were lolindfolded
and under the "spell" Of the operator,
were the following:
ehaw-I positively refuse to stay In the
cabinet after March 4, 1909.
i Technology knows the trouble have
Taft-What's sixteen millions between
hiends7
Wilson-There's many. q leslk between
the cotton and the crook.
J. r. Morgan = Since my Cincinnati,
Hamilton and Dayton experience have
come to think there IL merit In tho gov
eminent ownership Of railroads.
Goody-One big trust litigation in hand
= worth two years moro In tho cabinet.
Il Morton Every insurance president
should have his own submarine boat
shonts Oh. where Is my wandering
canal tonight?
Aldr1ch-Some folks say sugar and oil
won't combine. but know.
L Cannon-There Is no tariff ON football,
- revise It all you please.
Beveridge-I can make a better speech
than any that has been made yet.
Belasco-Yes. think 1t may fairly be
eaid THAI William Shakespeare was the
David Belasco Of his time.
Lodge-A Goldfish from the deep blue sea
- highly protected article Of commerce is
to me and nothing more. but, for heav-
EMS sake. don't think eat them.
The musical numbers included sew
eral topical songs touching different
prominent men about the table. One
OF them, parody on popular air,
was Everybody Works but Fair
banks" referring to the fact that the
duties Of the vice president are not
onerous. The chorus Of the parody
was as follows
Everybody works but Fairbanks:
He sits up all day
Listening to the speeches
Made in the same old way.
/, Allison, Lodge and German
All arc In the ranks.
Everybody works In the senate
But Mr.. Fairbanks.
{ Uncle Joe Cannon was celebrated
with dirge to the tune Of "Old Uncle |
Ned"
90 lay the tariff question in It's gra-a-ve,
Along with railroad rebates meath the |
dome
There won't be any work for congress
now to do.
+ You might as well all go home.
{ The menu was large blanket ballot |
upon which the guests were grouped |
under different emblems and devices.
There were tickets entitled Temple of
Fame" Finance Cincisurance. Real
Railroad Rate Reform Waiting List
Of the Roosevelt Club" Dem Pop, For
merly Republican Party" "Auntie Re
baters," Also Running and Auto
Re6nsmers."
J. Pierpont Morgan and Paul Morton
came over from New York to hear the
grSdrsn jskGl take ding at them
and laughed Ake he girl In the story,
49, II