davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.

LFrom the Philadelphia Record
Every man has a family tree if he
cares to cultivate it.
The greater our Imagination the
more trouble we have.
OIL wells are passe. At any rate
they always look bored.
The hot-headed fellow is generally
quickest to get cold feet.
Unlike the pugilist, a clock never
shakes hands for the wiud-up.
Experience is the best teacher when
it convinces US how little we know
The fellow who has ambitions to be
a high hier doesn't wait for his wings
to sprout.
The man who paddles his own canoe
may afford to hire a chauffeur when
he gets his automobile.
girls bushes are often put on. but
when it comes to freckles she tries to
have them taken off.
AT last I feel sure of an OPENING
remarked the unsuccessful man. as ne
realized that he had appendicitis.
The man who brings his wife q
bunch OF roses is more appreciated
than the one who brings home a ton
of coal.
Skinnum=I believe IN taking ad-
vantage of my opportunities. Wig
Tag-And / suppose you regard every
other man as an opportunity.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25
JOURNAL ENTRIES

If it is not impairment, we would
like to inquire when Mayor Davis is
going to set the date for Chief Good
wins exit into obscurity.
According to the Pennsylvania plan,
the state funds were distributed among
a number of the friends of the treas
urer In Kansas they were loaned
chiefly to one friend Of the treasurer.
The result to the state, however, seems
to have been the same in both cases.
Anoth er instance which backs up the
theory Of the late Mr.. Shakespeare that
there is nothing in a name is afforded
by the Mutual and Equitable COM
panies.
BY the way, do you remember who
Sergius Witte was?
The cold theorists continue to assert
that angels are not feminine, but there
is no use Of their arguing that PROPOSE
ton with the young man who has
come under Cupid's influence. He
knows better.
1t would look as though fencing
ought to be made a speciality at the
State Agricultural college instead of
football, with the preference given to
the barb wire variety
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25
GnOBE MGHTs.
Iron the Atchison Globe. ]


A woman in Atchison walks just like
duck walks when it is in a hurry
It takes some people as long to read
a book as it took the author to write it.
Bill Slowgoing says he is lucky for
once in his life: He never did carry
life insurance.
We are convinced that Hon. Lysan-
der John Appleton If he had opportuni-
ty. would be the happiest widower IN
town.
We have noticed that the smaller a
town a newspaper is published in. the
more it says about the Great Beyond
and the Golden Shore.
wise men which we have no present
desire for investigating, and that is
that kissing is dangerous.
Talk to the average lawyer, and you
will find that when he went to school
some teacher told him he had it in him
to make a great orator.
When a man ends W his conversa-
ton with a Don't tell you can de-
pend upon it he has either been saying
something disagreeable or untrue.
we sometimes think that when a
farmer comes to town to serve on the
jury, he has pretty good time He
pretends to dislike it, but does he?
An Atchison man has a particularly
lazy way of leaning on things and
standing around and ne is generally
known as Hon. Leanon stand Around. .
whenever we read fashion note in
a newspaper, we always read something
that scares US. The latest alarming
news is that women are to wear night
caps.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25
FR0M OTHER PENS
soME GOOD REsULTs.

The investigation which is now going
on in regard to insurance ought to be
of incalculable value 1t must inevfta-
bly, result in cleaner. better, more eco
nomical methods of administra ton of
the life insurance companies It will
doubtless lead to federal control of life
insurance. if that can be established IN
der the constitution, and its control will
be carried on for the better protection
of policyholders. But. more than that.
the investigation promises to throw
new light upon the whole question of
the responsibilities of trustees. Already
it promises to break down the vicious
system of corporation contributions to
political campaign funds, and it will
doubtless result in a law providing for
publicity in the United States Of the
receipts and disbursements of political
committees.-WaH Street Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

She was a pretty little thing, and it
was plainly to be seen that she had
not been married long. She tripped
into a Chelsea cheesemonger's and said
to the proprietor:
MY husband (there was a great
emphasis on the word "husband")
bought couple of hams here some
time ago
Yes. ma'am." said the shopman
emphasizing the "ma'am.'
indeed"
Yes, ma am assented the shop
man.
Nave you any more like them ?"
Yes, mas am said the man of
cheese and bacon, pointing to a row
of ten or a dozen hanging suspended
from the ceiling.
Are you sure that they are from
the same piE2"
YES. ma'am,'' said the shopman
without a CULVER.
Then you may send me two more
of them and she tripped out of the
shop as she had tripped in. and the
Chelsea cheesemonger laughed a wick
ed laugh.-Tit-Bits
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25
N Alibi.

Among the many good stories of
humorous happenings in court told by
Attorney Watson, of Pittsburg, is the
following:
"a prominent attorney of Kansas
City who was retained as counsel for
the defense in a criminal case in the
city named succeeded in getting his
client out of pretty bad situation by
means of an alibi. which the attorney
presented in so novel way that it
was a little short of masterful.
cat the end of the trial the attor-
ney was overwhelmed by congratula-
tions from his colleagues of the legal
fraternity, who spoke in the highest
terms of admiration of his able work.
To these felicitations there were
added those of the learned judge him
self who observed:
A fine alibi, that, and mighty well
putt'
g Well modestly responded the
lawyer, I myself think it was rather
neat Of those that were offered me
it was by far the best Harper
Weekly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25
THE way no no TT.

Exercise three times day:
Feed yourself on simple rare
Mostly made Of bran and nay
Revel in the opeD air;
Never give way to your learsi
Sleep just like 8 BABY
Then you'll live a hundred years
Maybe.
Wear no Wrans about your throaEs
Do not eat late lunches
Do. OH do not rock the boat
Shy away from punches;
Do not drink too many beers;
Let not debts distress;
Then you'll live q hundred years
More or less.
Don't dispute with men who wear
Larger fists than you;
Do not give way to despair
Though the rent is due:
Do not waste your strength in tears
AS for trouble, scout it;
Then you'll live a hundred years.
Doubt st2
DO not umpire baseball gamess
Don't for Office run:
Do not call a fellow names
If he has q gun
Unto wisdom lend your ears;
Shun the festive schooneri
Then you'll live a hundred years
If you don't die sooner.
-Piaua Cohio) Call
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

LFrom the New York Press.l
Bills are a SIGHT worse. but people
kick harder over paying taxes.
Even the f0olest kind of fool man
Knows better than to engage a cook for
his wife if he can get out Of it.
Mighty few people who have red hair
in the family fool themselves into think
ing it is a nice thing in anybody else.
There IS something about gambling
that makes you hate the man who wins
more than you do and have a, contempt
for the one who loses more.
It's a mean trick for woman to
sneak her photograph out of her hus-
bands travelling bag so he won't dis
cover It til he comes home and she
tells him about it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

Mis-. Louis Wilson, of Richmond,
was surprised the other day to find the
following note in the heart OF d cab
bage she was preparing for dinner. A
place had been cut out of the heart
ana a note put in and plugged up so
it would not be noticed. It was
wrapped in brown paper and a piece oS
muslin:
lockwood, Wis.
ssWhoever receives this head of cab
bage, kindly let me know what you
paid for it. We get Sc per ton for cab
bage here.
MISS ALMA HAGEMENN."
As cabbage in Richmond sells at the
rate of $50 per ton, there is $54 diff
ference on the ton between there and
Oakwood. Wis.-Richmond Democrat.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

Chicago. Is poking fun at New York
because great excitement was caused
by little FIRE there. Chicago viii
probably never get over feeling proud
about that blaze that was caused by
the COW ana Iamp combination.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25
A PROVIDENTIAL MULE.

It IS stated on the authority of Off
GERS in the Confederate army that
balky mule decided the battle of Gettys-
burg. The southern and northern troops
were both attempting to reach an emil
nence. the position of which practically
decided the battle and the southern
column was blocked by baiky mule
just long enough to enable the northern
troops to gain the eminence and so the
balky mule really decided the battle
New York Tribune
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

I'm view of the presidential injunction
against members of the cabinet dis
cussing the policies of the administra
ton. ct would be interesting to know if
Secretary Taft had a special permit for
that Akron s0eeeh.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

A Topeka publication has put on its
eyeglasses and discovered a new ma
chine that is in course Of erection. But
ft has never yet been able to see the
burton machine that has been in con
troll of the state treasury FOR ten years
out OF the last twelve, and Of which It
has been q very important part during
MOST of that time.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

1t will be interesting to note if
Pennsylvania does anything more with
those Who misuse the state funds than
Kausas does But perhaps it isn't a
crime i'm Pennsylvania as it is in Kan
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

Some scientists now doubt whether
the mosquito is to blame for all the
troubles ne has been held accountable
FOR Still, there viii be very little dis
position to keep him with us if we can
and q way to get rid of him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

The efforts of the city council to
place Chief Goodwin on the toboggan
seem to have been sidetracked tenn
porarily by Mayor Davis.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25
CHANGE Ga DATE MoVEMENr-

Il
There is a national committee to
promote the movement to change the
date Of the presidential inauguratio
day. The agitation for change. main
" promoted by citizens of Washington.
has been going on for years without
definite result, but it is now more eff
fectively organized. and congress may
beinduced to take the necessary action.
On many accounts later date would
be desirable, and serious opposition
from the people at large is hardly ex-
pected- If a constitutional amendment
is required the change, If made, would
necessarily be slow, and there would be
plenty of time to study the question in
its details.-Buffa1o Commercial
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

Mr.. WINS, Republican candidate for
mayor in New York, says he has Nc
ClelIan ON the run. He is right. The
trouble is that Mcclellan is between
Twins and the goal, and he is not only
nearer TO it, but he is running much
Easter than wins.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

There is this about it: If Kansas
avenue is not repaved by next summer
the multitude of lakes along its length
may be turned into great summer
$1,000
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

1t Is a sad commentary upon Repub-
lican government that the appearance
Of an honest official who enforees the
laws, like Jerome or Hanly or Folk,
is more unexpected and remarkable
chan any number Of dishonest officials.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

AS an ulumatum collector the sultan
Of Morocco is a great success. He has
one of the finest collections Of ultima
tums ever brought together under one
$3.50
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

incidentally President Roosevelt may
secure considerable number of
Democratic votes for his railroad rate
programme. which would go the other
way We're not the people OF the south
to demand that they sustain the presi-
dent
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

The State Journal IS a member q the
Associated Press and receives the 1ull Gay
telegraph report of that great news ., 9t
8snization for exclusive evening pnDA-
cation Ga Topeka. .-..
The State Journal receives for excius e
publication the leased wire. report OF Ine
Publishers Press for the edition Tor sun
cay morning.
The news is received in the State Jour
nal building over wires Tor this sole put-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

You don't hear anything about Gov
ernor Pennypacker of Pennsylvania
following the example of Hanly of In
diana in Furnishing those who misused
state funds. Instead he seems to be
following the precedent set by Cover
nor Koch Of Kansas.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

Mort Albaugh made careful obser-
vations but when the Devlin creditors
were meeting the other day, he failed
TO md Tom Kelly doing any worry
tr~ Notwithstanding the $4,000 Of
NAI.r
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

Where ignorance brought in the sal
airy and commissions, it was sure
enough folly to be wise i'll the case of
President McCurdy.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

It would be difficult to overestimate
the value of Mr.. Schiff's testimony.
Without equivocation or reservation he
has laid bare the root of the evil that
affiicts not alone our great insurance
companies, but many of our large cor
porations- irresponsible one-man pow
eF.-New York Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

There was this difference: That
Pennsylvania bank had several big pat
rons. The First National of Topeka
had only one.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

state money which Kelly loaned Dew
lin through the medium OF the First
National bank.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

of course the insurance magnates
think it Is exceedingly bad taste for the
public to pry into their purely family
affairs.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

The Saulteaux woman, like her civil
lied sister, is the willing slave of fash
ion. Her code of etiquette prescribes
a special costume for the marriage
feast Possessing, as a rule. but one
dress. she cannot afford to cut the top
of it off; she, therefore, simply unbut-
tons it down to the waist, and is at
once ready for the ball room.
At Mi-na-ce's wedding, the women,
of course, appeared in evening
Dress" and equally, of course, the
dancing had to be vigorous in order
to keep Jack Frost from becoming too
familiar To the measured beating of
a drum the dancers began circling the
fire. Round and round they moved in
silence. Then breaking into a chant,
the men faced the women. and from
time to time solemnly revolved. But
the women never turned their backs
upon the fire. 1t was a slow mon
otonous measure only relieved by the
women and children throwing feathers
at one another. Between each dance
the company partook of refreshments.
and so the festivity proceeded until
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Hening in the No
vember Metropolitan Magazine.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25
Becanle Reconciled.

Governor Lafollette Of WISCONSIN tells
of a lady in Chicago who was very I'M
ter to an official in Washington, and she
told her griefs to all of her friends. They
were all surprised when she returned
from an extended visit to the national
capital and announced that she had be-
come reconciled to her son-in-law, and
thus she explained it:
I'VE done no calm together. until
there come a White House deception; an
that I was 'bleeged to go with him as
well as with Emily So after we was
there an ] saw how poplar he was an
how han some he looked in his official
garbage, my heart gave way, an says
to Emily; An right, Ene-s exit home =
Exchange.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

Tt is becoming quite evident that that
Austrian Hungarian divorce viii not be
granted by mutual consent.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

It really looks as though the scandals
elsewhere are determined to eclipse
those in Washington.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

Just watch the returns from Roswell,
Ca. the next time a man by the name
or Roosevelt runs for anything!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

Funny that hint has not yet reach
ed Chief Goodwin.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

soUEAL FROM WYANDOTTE.

SQUEAL FROM WYANDOTTE.
Governor Koch has It within his
power to close the Joints in this city
and he also has the power to close
them all over the state. He has ap-
pointed an assistant attorney general
in Shawnee county, but we are in
formed that the thirsty Topekan has
no trouble in quenchfng his thirst in
drug stores. Topeka has 1873 govern
ment licenses to sell Intoxicating
liquors and this city has 213, while the
entire state has something like $500
government licenses. We have no
more in proportion to our population
than the other large cities have, and
yet 1t seems that all of the governor s
at this city. We win saw that we are
heartily in favor of the enforcement
of the laws as laid down by our legis-
iatorss but we do not believe in enforc-
ing It IN one place and allowing it to
be violated in other pIaces.=Kansas
City, kas., News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

Tt is very easy to see where the For
aker presidential boom viii get support
in an endeavor to carry Ohio over the
TAFT boom
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25
NEITHER PI.AcE- I.0NG.

senator BurtOn VIII remain m the
public service, though whether in the
senate or in Jail is not yet fully de-
termined.-Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

Judging from the terror expressed by
some of the railroad magnates, railroad
rate regulation means the downfall Of
the nation.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

Five cents more a gallon for oil. 1--WE
viii now read to the Bible class the
story Of the wise virgins who had their
lamps trimmed New York Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

The man who is fool enough to make
suicide pact is very likely to be fool
enough to keep it.-Wa shington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

Mr.. Mccall had a great deal to do"
says Vice President Buckner. Yes;
and a great many to do.-Houston
Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25
Arkansas Political Campaigns.

Talk about the political game" said
Robert G. Faust, of Little Rock. Ark.
at the Cadillac yesterday, you ought
to see how it's played down in my state.
Campaigns consist in a series of de-
attorney general, arch-enemies, were
billed at the same meeting. Enissaries
from each camp met and decided that,
personalities could be used in the
speeches without breach of courtesy
Always, before political speeches, the
seconds decide whether or not it shall
be nud-slingihg contest And the
rules adepted are, strictly followed, too.
Detroit Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

Though minee and apple others praise,
scOrn them and scOff,
And give three cheers for pumpkin pie,
Whose lid is always of
New York sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25
A LONG RANGE vIEW.

Topeka IS having a lot Of trouble for
which the prohibitory law is not re-
sponsible. The council recently gave
the chicken show. annually held by
General J. w. r. Hughes, permission
to occupy the Auditorium for a week.
The Modocs want to have Calve- sing
there one night during the same week.
They can get her atano other time. The
coune4ITnen- who Represent Tennessee-
town are unanimous and enthusiastic
for the chicken. The councilmen from
Potwin Heights are for CaIve. AS
there is nothing much doing in Topeka
the question of which one shall have
the town han is exciting great interest.
lola Record
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25
AZ Will, GET TuEBE

CONGRESS may not act favorably on
the move to create q presidential
train. But it can have whatever pain
there is in knowing that the president
viii go anyhow.-Ottawa Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

Walter Christie sat in his huge Blue
Flyer racing car on the Cape May beach
II love the sea- he said THE sea is
one of the finest things God has given to
man. 1t is an inspiration.
Il wish a book could be made OF the
things that men and women in the course
of the worlds history have said on see
ing the sea for the first time. Everyone
at the first glimpse of it. says an original
and unique thing about it. It inspires its
beholders to brilliant utterance-
Once, in Frisco, I saw an old beggar
she drank in the vast expanse of blue
and sunlit water, she sighed and said:
'ssAh how nice it is at last to see
something of which there's enough for
everybody Exchange.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

Here's poem that we accepted some
time ago that nobody can possibly make
any sense out of at ALL" said the maEa-
zine editors assistant. ct hasn't any
title, either"
oh replied the editor. "just call IL
The Signing Soul and run it in.''-Phila-
delphia Public Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

MY uncle" she said. was once a
member Of the United States senate"
Never mind. darling" he replied. Il
love you too much to let that stand in
the way. "-Chicago Reeord-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

Your friend Boxer has stopped drink
ing entirely-never touches a drop
when did he die2'-Dallas News
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

THE police of Boston haven't solved
that suit case mystery"
No, and they never will I've had one
IN my home for years ana have never
been able to solve it,
What In your homei You don't
Yes, I've been trying to find out how
my wife manages to jam into her suit
case all the clothes she mas had to have
help to push into her trunk"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

why did Mahomet 90 to the noun
tain2'
HE thought he could get better rates
there than at the seashore. '-Cleveland
Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25

A law professor was Iecturing on con
tracts to a class which obviously did not
care to listen. The young men shuffled
their feet and apparently only waited for
the clock to strike their deliverance.
At last the minute hand. pointed to 70,
and the hour was I'D. With q simuita-
neous movement they rose from their
seats and started toward the door.
zone minute. please!' called the lee
turer. "One minute. pleasel I have still
q few more pearls to cast. '-Chicago
Journal.