The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-02-16
COMMENTS ON MEN AND
MATTERS OF THE WORLD

confessionals are to be disinfected in
Mexico. The trouble with a great many
people is that they want to disinfect their
religion, also.
An Ohio man has been sent to the pen
itentiary for two years for stealing
dime. But what's the use of dilating?
Anybody can see that it is now In order
to point out old Plutocuss who passes the
collection plate every Sunday morning
and got his start by selling mean whisky;
old Craftycuss who laid the foundation
of his fortune by breaking a bank; old
Tapthetill who got nest egg by rob-
bling his employer and now heads the list
of municipal philanthropists; old Whoop-
emup who is a prominent citizen but
left a former place of residence against
the pleadings of his creditors; old Squeeze
penny who has amassed wealth by de-
frauding widows and orphans and abusing
the poor. and last of all the trust mag
nate who sells stocks and then the public,
clearing millions by the deal Isn't this
world funny place?
Do the muses. weep or merely sigh?
At any rate there is a commotion about
Mount Parnassus and all because Bob"
Taylor is going into vaudeville He is
scheduled to appear at the Colonial the
atre next Monday night in a turn
which is a monologue of his famous lee
ture, The Fiddle and the Bow" In
addition he will perform on ms violin.
| OF course Bob" Tlylor can make
good" in vaudeville and he certainly
ought to be a "head-liner,9 but isn't
vaudeville rather straining a point to
display his versatility?
So Texas would not "stand for the
problem play, Iris" company headed
| by one Miss Bessie Toone attempted a
tour of the state presenting Iris" and
now 1t is suffering financial shipwreck
on the high seas of adversely It would be
interesting to know just what Texas
thinks of Iris" and problem plays in
general. But maybe, after all it was the
company and not the play. One can't al.
ways tell about such matters.
An original person proposes that we
/
dents Day and to be set by statute
some time in the early part of August.
Why sure. Bring on the holidays in
! large lots! The people are suffering now
| for lack of days OFF, and the more we
have the merrier This old world would
be comfortable place if every day were
! a holiday except pay day and Sunday,
with the privilege Of sleeping late on Sun
day. The author of Presidents Day.
wants to abolish the observance of
| Washngton's and Lincoln's birthdays,
February 10 and %, but of course that
would never do.
Why couldn't President Francis give a
benefit performance of the st. Louis fair
and make enough money to send the iron
man back home? Surely there could be
no civic strife melted by such a plan.
! Vulcan might be carried en- tour as the
original petrified man if he didn't weigh
so much that his carfare would eat up the
door receipts. He might be ratified off il
| anybody really wanted him. He is too
! large for the parlor. and some citizens say
he is too big for Birmingham. 1t is oup
to- the Commercial club and seems to
be up to their necks. Perhaps few
verses would be appropriate. Tempo del
| can can. Dolce.
INTERVIEW WITH VULCAN.
The days are sad and dreary,
My feet are always wet;
| | think I'll soon grow leary
If l don't get out of debt
CHORUS.
| Take me back, back to Birmingham,
Back to the city of my birth;
The winds are cold, / am getting old
Say, this is no time for mirth.
l cannot dance for living
| cannot even sing,
But If you will take me back to Birming-
ham
| I'll stand for anything
PAUL COOK.