The daily Alaskan., 1905-12-09
A Conductors Poke
IOrigInaLl

IOriglnaLl
 We are considered heartless, said the conductor, because we put people off trains who tell us all sorts of stories as to why they cant pay their fare The truth Is we are not permitted to fudge in such matters, our orders being to collect ali fares. The only case ih which I violated my instructions was where I considered myself to blame iu depriving a passenger of his ticket.
 I was in charge of the Chicago Linn Fed from New York at the time and was going through the train punching tickets when I came to a handsomely dressed young man with suit case beside him plastered all over with the names of foreign hotels. It was mid summer. and he was sleeping with tho window beside him open, a derby hat nuIIed down over his eyes. We con. ductors have to deal with so many people who pretend they don't hear us when we call for tickets that instead of asking a second time we poke them The young man referred to seemed to be sleeping so soundly that poked him vigorously in the side. He start ed up as if he had been shot, knock ing his hat out of the window. Plac ing his hands to bis side, he Groaned.
 "I beg pardon" l said. "I hope ] didn't hurt you"
 Hurt me-" he said, almost breathleSs with agony. You've nearly killed me I've an abscess on my liver" And he groaned again.
 I'm sorry about your hat" I re marked, hoping to draw his mind from his suferlugs.
 Hat! What hat?"
 Didn't you notice that 1t went out of the window"
 Did It? don't care anything about A hat. I can buy one as soon as l have the time. But I'm afraid you've done me up. Doctor told me to let him oper ate on my liver, promising if I didn't that the first thing l run my side against might break the abSccSS and Kill me-
 The young man was so frightened about himself that l began to feel un easy for fear l had done him serious Injury. stood leaning on the back oi the seat looking down on him anxious lv till his suTcrIngs seemed to modeT ate, then asked again for his ticket
 "Oh, my ticket! II you'd have asked me for 1t you might have had it long ago. It's this confounded pokiuS YOU conductors practice that l object to I'm going to report this matter to the proper official of the road and find out | if something cant be done to stop the | nuisance
 'Iu repair the damage" I replied, "by getting you another hat at the first stop"
 Hat. Whats a hat to me? It cost me a guinea in London only last week. | but do you suppose I'm thinking aboGt that? I'm worrying for my life"
 Meanwhile be had taken out his pock etbook, opened it, pulled ont a tjckc which proved to be a check of some sort, put it back, took out something else, paused for a paroXysm of pain, clapping his hand on his liver; shut up hls pocketbook. put it away and began | to search elsewhere for his ticket. Sud douly he stopped hunting and eXcloim. ed:
 By thunder, l am in a hN.''
 "What's the matter now$
 Ticket and baggage cheeks all in the lining of my hat"
 I sighed. Here was more blame for me, consequent upon my poke.
 Now, see herc," pursued the young man angrily and talking loud enough to be heard all over the car, this is an outrage. You not only ram your list into me, but knoc, my hat cut of the window with my string of tickets all the way to Chicago, and I've got notb Ing to show for my trunks" More unpleasaunCss for me. I could pass him to the end of my run, but what would he do after that? However I braced up and said to him:
 "Never mind your ticket" I was about to move on when he stopped me.
 q do mind my ticket or the loss of It, and I want you to fix me to Chi, cagO."
 "Chicagow
 Certainly, Chicago. You've depriv. ed me of my tickets there, and I don't propose to let you off without making my loss good. I'm a lawyer, am, and I'll begin suit, not against you; I'm not so stupid as that, but against the road. It'll pay for the tickets, besides dam. ages and costs"
 The question arose in my mind, Shall I get the company into a lawsuit and doubtless lose my position, or put the man through: I decided on the latter course. We conductors have ways Of doing things with our fellow conduct, ors, and I gave the passenger a line to those who followed me which they would understand. This seemed to satisfy him. He stopped his loud