davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-20
why Women Are Lop-slded.

The lop-sided woman has awakened dis
cussion all over the world Of late. Every
body with theory has been trying to
prove that the gentle lady who leans to
one side. whose hips do not match and
whose shoulders are not on a level. has
reached her pitiable state through the
violation OF his own particular theory
One physician says II is because she
hangs on ta car straps with one hand
continually .'Another declares that 1t ls
because she persistentiy sits on one side
OF her chair. while still another believes
1t Is because she will insist uDon standing
upon one foot
Well, II ali this is so. why aren't the
men lop-sided. too? Surely. they spend
more time hanging TO straps, sitting at
desks and standing ON their feet than we
do But they aren't becoming lop-sided
They stand Just as straight and evenly as
ever, and their shoulders are just as de-
lightful as they ever were to put our
heads upon.
Women are lop-sided because they are
born so. Every woman Is lOp-sided In
character. IN tastes and In disposition
She is either abnOrmaily good or abnor-
mally horrid She Is never a happy. COM
mon sense medium in anything She is
either an angel or demon, a saint or a
disagreeable, but she Is never just toler-
able, Ike most men, She invariably de-
cides that a thing Is all right or all
wrong; but she can meyer see two sides
perfection and every enemy the incarna-
lion of imperfection. She can never see
"A fault In anybody she loves nor a virtue
in anybody she dislikes. She either
adores or despises Sha Is either as
talkative as parrot or as silent as the
tomb. There IL nothing riddling nor
mediocre about her.
That Is why men. the majority OF whom
iog along In mediocre sort Of way, who
always see two sides to a question. who
can admire the talents OF an enemy and
understand the weaknesses Of a friend,
who can love a little and dislike a little,
and sin a little and he good little, can
never understand a woman
Just as long as women are lop-slded in
character they are going TO be lop-sided
in appearance New York Press
A Daring Deed--"N Now, my men," said
the gallant leader. don't forget the
watchword-give no quarter"
yell of determination. the attacking party
dashed for the door. In another instant
the room was empty. So was the walter .
outstretched hand l-Cleveland Leader
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-20

teachings Of those who have preceded
him.
Ine West ana particularly the South
west. is at the threshold of It's greatest
prosperity. The development made Ia the
past decade is but a token OF that to
come. and the dwellers on its rich acres
will have reason 10 be more thankful
than ever that their steps We're guided
into such pleasant places, where each
year adds TO the value Of their property.
and where a larger wealth IS accumua-
ted with every passing season.-Charles
NJ. Marger IN the Outlook.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-20
The HolIldnr Complexinn.

Have you ever observed how a girls
can be completely spoiled by
the week of overeating and dissipation
which follows Christmas and ends with
New Year? One plum pudding can undo
the work of a whole corps OF beauty
specialists.
For your Christmas complexion try a
pinch OF bicarbonate of soda In a little
water after dinner every day. This viii
keep your digestion in order and prevent
sallowness and pimples.-New York
proeq
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-20

The minister and the doctor were rid
ing down town In a Lexington avenue
ear. and had arrived at Madison square
when their friend the undertaken Joined
them.
minister and doctor put the undertaken
on the car. saying their appearance In
trio looked too suggestive aud would
cause talk among their friends-New
XoEk Pgess.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-20

He-when we get to the hotel we must
do something to give the impression that
We are not a bridal couple.
She--I'll scold you all the time.
.Oh, that won't do. They might think
yon were my mother!' -Yonkers States
man.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-20

sTheres one thing l must speak to YOU
about" said the new maid your hus-
band addressed me as my dear last
night"
'Oh. don't mind little thing like that
wplied Mrs. Gayboy why. he even ad-
dresses me that way at times. Chicago
News.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-20

yisitor-what have you got that auto
mobile horn forY
Athletic Trainer-Oh. our crack jump
err is going to try for the record. We
think he'll jump at least three feet fur
ther If he hears this horn behind HIM
plilsix
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-20

1000 miles costs but a cent and half.
Al the same time wages have been kept
up 10 the American standard FOrelgn
vessels would share IN the facilities Tor
doing the business and they would bling
the American ships into competition with
a greatly lower scale Of wages ane stand
ard Of liNing.-CleXeland Leader
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-20

Mrs. wabash-1f marriage is a lottery.
so is divorce.
Mrs. Dearborn-How do you make that
out2
.'Why. one can never tell what the next .
husband is going 20 be. Workers States
man.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-20
Offen Remlnded.

How often, said the philosopher "a
man is reminded OF his own littleness in
this great world
Yes answered Mr. Cumrox "espe-
cially If he has three daughters who
have been to boarding school. WASH
ingtOn Star.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-20

why is moonlight so conducive to
man.
Well" answered the practical girl
for one thing. when you are using the
moonlight you aren't interrupted by re-
membranes of parental worry about gas
and electric light Lills. washington
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-20

Author-Truly. this IS an unapprecia-
tive world Why, il | had written what
McFadd has written ] wouldnt be fa-
nous like he is.
Criticus-I guess that's right. And II
McFadd had written the stuff you grind
out he wouldn't be famous, either.-Ex.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-20

Miss Radclffe-Who is the greatest
poet Of the present time?
Mr Hawvaahd--NVe er--J dislike to
make comparisons, you know. Did you
er-xnow | was the class poet?-Chicago
Gazette
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-20

''Do you believe that mosquitoes are af-
fected by the use of kerosene in the
swampsT
Yes" answered Farmer Corntosel
kerosene drives more Of EN- from their
homes an makes 'em crosser an blood
fhirsfier than ever. WASHINGTON Star.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-20

Mabel: do you think we are going to
have an old fashioned summer
Maude: I'm afraid not. Auntie has
been at the beach for a month, and she
hasn't been engaged once vet. t.'-Yonkers
Statesman
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-20

Ruffraf-Hear about Peckem?
Buffbang-No what about him.
Riffraf-They say his wife made it SO
hot for him that he had to leave home.
Bffbang--Well that certainly was q
shire W. ed move on his part.-Ex.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-20

Professor lin medical colege)--Mr
skate, which color irritates the optic
nerve least?
Mr.. Skate casually broke)-Green. sir
at least that Of the long variety--Cincins
natl Commercial Tribune.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-20

Janitors Son (peerlng over the edgel--
Daddy what's that thing down in the
street that looks like a leadpencil7
Janitor gazing through sTlygiass)- That,
my boy--thot mast be Trinity church
SHIRE Life
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-20

Pop"
Yes, my SON"
why are whales always blowing?"
'.Oh, Just because one of their ancestors
swallowed Jonah, ! suppose '-Yonkers
Statesman.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-20

Two heads are better than one .
quoted the teacher Nov. Willie, do you
know why?"
sure, maam; cause tnen you could
git job IN a dime museum an make lots
Of money. ~ PhIladelpLla Press.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-20

Little Elmer-Papa, what is a hypo-
chondriac? Prof Broadhead-A hypO-
chondriac, my son. is person who has
no disease. but many complalrsR--Pu
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1905-03-08

Sword stands came into use in Lon
don churches when it became custom
ary to carry the city sword before the
lord mayor as he went to church in
state. During service the sword was
placed in the stand or case provided
for it, and in his own church the lord
mayor generally had the stand placed
conveniently near to or in his family
pew. This custom, which was quite
common before the end of the six
teenth century. apparently began in
the reign of Elizabeth. The state Wis
its to the city churches were discontin-
ued in the mayoralty of Sir II. n. Fow-
Ter, 1SS3.-London Standard.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1905-03-08
Electric Fans In Winter.

The electric fan is generally associat-
ed with hot weather because at that
time we are accustomed to resort to
its use for cooling and ventilating our
offices and living rooms, but it has its
uses in cold weather, and in many Of
fees and stores it maintains its posi-
ton throughout the entire year. Its
use in winter is principally to secure
ventilation, though at times 1t is very
onvenient for obtaining Il more uni
FORM temperature throughout a room.
An electric fan placed above Il heater
will distribute the warm air which
would otherwise rise toward the cell
ing and only reach the lower regions
when displaced by still warmer air.
The thorough circulation and stirring
up brought about by the fan generally
insure a pretty uniform temperature
throughout the entire room. Electrical
Review.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1905-03-08
British Navy Divers,

Three schools for the instruction of
divers are maintained by the British
navy. The diving service is composed
entirely Of volunteers. No man is pass
ed as a candidate who has short neck,
is full blooded or shows florid COM
plexion. Those suffering from com
plants affecting the head OF heart or
having a sluggish circulation are also
excluded. Six weeks of training at a
diving school fits man for open sea
work. 1t is essential to descend and
ascend very slowly owing to the eff
fects Of the great change of pressure
A man of strong constitution is not
advised to ascend faster than two feet
a second when the depth does not ex-
ceed eighty feet. The men in training
are first taken to slight depths, which
are gradually increased to maximum
of 120 feet The normal limit is $50
sect, to which practiced divers often go.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1905-03-08
HuTToN's ONE RI clpE.
II Inciudcd Paper Cutter, Ink
Eraser and Rubber Bands.


Perhaps the most ingenious and the
most original of all schemes for pro
curing autographs was from Il lady in
western town. She was raising funds
for the building and support Of public
library and she had conceived the idea
of issuing a volume TO be colled "rhe
Authors Recipe Book" An hOrS from
all over the country, the most dstln-
guishCd of authors alway' authors
with capital A-had been Z )d enough
TO send her list of the favoltc dishes
Of their own construction, with their
method of making them.
The cookbook was one of the many
forms of literature to which the reclp-
lent had never turned his attention. He
had no more idea of cooking tImn he
had Of milking n COW or of Harvesting
horse or Of setting hen or of build
ing a dynamo. He did not even care
what was cooked for him so long as 1t
contained none of the ingredients of
tripe and none of the essence Of toma-
to. But he was asked to contribute n
lUIlfIt W llNl NlN NbulI uiNt lNIlOr
duced in facsimile stating what he
could prepare most TO his liking upon
Il Kitchen range or in chatting dish,
with his manner of procedure. This
quite nonpused him until he bethought
himself Of one particular and peculiar
delicacy in the evolution Of which he
could safely trust his reputation as an
expert. In reply, for which he received
no thanks, he said:
"Take long paper cutter; attach to
the same by means Of rubber bands,
and securely, an ink eraser; insert the
ink eraser firmly into marshmallOw
plug and hold the same over n students
lamp or study fire until the marshmal-
low begins TO si2z, drops into the ashes,
puts out the light or burns your hand.
And eat while hotr'
lie has never seen copy of "The Au-
thors' Recipe BOokw-Laurence Hutton
in Critic.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1905-03-08
ANIMALS AND scENT.
One of the Miracles of Nature That
In Past Understanding.


one of the most interesting of all the
miracles of nature Is scent as applied
TO animals. The subject is neither I'M
derstood nor eXplainable. Whether 1t
Is sixth sense or marvellous devel-
opmcnt Of one OF the five is uncertain.
Quite likely, however, It has very little
relation to that sense whlcl we know
as smell.
To the sportsman the quail y of scent
Is extremely important WI EN- the air
Is dry and the ground hard there Is lit
tie scent. When the wind IS north or
east scent is either largely ,antng or
does not readily dinuse Itself. A
sOutherly wind without n in and a
westerly wind, if not too Ough, are
most favorable to II. or 60 rise If the
wind Is strong 1t blows the ent away,
and severe storms entirely destroy it.
1t is very difficult for dog to follow
a scent just after shower, and It is
dispersed by the hot sun us well as
by the storm. 1t is fact also that
body as from its feet
There is no time that dog will fol
low scent better than when the track
Is made upon white frost. If the frost
Is thick over the track, of course the
scent is buried, but as soon as It be-
gins to disappear the dog follows 1t
easily. During thaws or melting snow
scent seems to dissipate rapidly. Sled
paths swamp bottoms, dry wood and
Ice are all bad for holding or preserv-
ing scent, and so are sandy places and
of course plowed fields when the feet
to fall over them.
Another peculiar thing about scent
is that 1t generally ceases as soon as
the animal is dead. This, at any rate
is the claih, and, for that matter, al
most all knowledge concerning scent is
merely made by observation and Is
rather unscientific, or at least liable to
be erroneous. 1t is claimed also that
nature often protects animals in the
breeding season, so that they give out
but little scent. For illustration, the
coon gives no scent from spring until
about the middle of August, when the
young begin to take care of themselves,
and their scent increases with their
age and size. Both the rabbit and the
coon have very little scent but the fox,
deer, moose and elk give out strong
scent ,and can be followed by dog
long after the track is fresh. Birds
give but little scent, and it has been
claimed that quail close their feathers
closely when the dog is near and thus
destroy their scent altogether.
Whether scent as we understand it
as applied to animals is the same quail.
ity that human beings possess in smell
ing flower is uncertain. Just how
dog, for Illustration, can distinguish
the track Of his master from that Of
some one else or from II score of others
perhaps hours after the track has been
made Is simply one Of those marvellous
miracles that are as incomDrehensible
as eternity or limltless space.-Amateur
Sportsman.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1905-03-08
REApED AS HE so WE'D.
The Crop That Was Raised by Mei#.
sonicr's clever Gardener.

Meissoner, like many other celebrl-
ties, had a passon for gardening, His
gardener, nm accomplished botanist.
knew to perfection the seeds of every
plant, and his master had often tried
In vain to throw him Off his guard.
"Ths time have him." the artist re-
marked to Il party Of frleI is at the
dinner table. And he show d them n
packet containing the dried roe of
herring. He then sent for ie garden
er.
ADO you know this seed?" Iessonler
inquired.
The gardener carefully crutnlzed
the grains.
"Why not?" he said at In t.. "They
are the seeds Of the 'polpus insamus,'
very rare tropical plant"
How long will they be coming up"
Mcissonier asked, with Il chuCkle of sup
pressed cXultatlon.
about fortnight" was the reply
Two weeks later the guests were
again assembled at Meissonier's table,
and after dinner the gardener was an.
nOunCeu.
an. Melssonler," the man said, "the
seed has just come up"
"Ah, you surprise mer the artist ex-
claimed as he rose and led the way
into the garden to examine the botan-
ical phenomenon.
The gardener lifted Il glass shade and
disclosed to view small bed with
three rows Of picked herrings' heads
peeping out of the earth. Everybody
laughed. MeissOner dismissed the
gardener on the spot but took him on
again next day.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1905-03-08
A SCHOOL FOR SPIDERS.
she Insects Taught to wenve Their
Webs Only ON Bottles.

"Thls Is my spiders school," said the
young woman, and with little stick
she brushed y few webs from the wall
mot much to look at, Is 1t? Only a
dozen rows of wine bottles. Il great
many spiders and a great many webs.
| make nevertheless little money
out Of the school.
Spiders webs are In demi nd among
surgeons and among the NAL ers of GER
tain astronomical instruments. the sur
geons using them TO stop homorrhlges
with and the instrument NJ iprs using
them In certain very delicate ustru-
ments-instruments wherein, strange to
say, Il human hair would not take their
place because a hair is neither fine
enough nor durable enough f. serve the
required purpose.
Besides selling the webs / also sell
the spiders a corrupt class Of wine
dealers buy the spiders. These men
put them among bottles of new wine.
| train the spiders to weave on bottles
only tear down webs woven any.
where else-and II Is amazing how
quickly these well schooled pupils of
mine will cover case Of port or claret
with cobwebs, giving to the wine an
appearance Of great age
'Slx spiders In a week will add two
years to the aspect of dozen bottles
of wine; hence you will readily see
how valuable the ugly little creatures
are to wine merchants of certain
e."-Philndelphia Bulletin.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1905-03-08
BULGlNG GUN BARRELS.
The Ruin That Is Wrought by Care
less HnndlinH.

| have sold guns for ten years, and
i'm that time four of them have had
their barrels bulged, one by snow, one
by dirt, one by sand and one by some
thing else getting into it, One man
crawling through a fence got Il little
snow in the muzZle. lie could not re
move 1t with his finger, so concluded
to wait and shoot it out, which he did
but he found a bulge like a pullet's egg
ON the end of the barrel. Another got
some earth in the muZZle and shot it
out, and he, too, found the same kind
of a bulge on the end of his gun An
other fired his gun at ducks, which
knocked him over on his back and fair
ly got away from him. When be pick
ed up the gun he found narrow raised
band around the barrel fourteen inches
from the muzZle. In this case a wad
had probably lodged there. This GUS
toner thinks the manufacturers ought
to give him a new set of barrels. | tell
him If the barrels had not been good
ones it would have been a burst in
olCdu VI d DuiSt, WHICH, HllBul luNp
manned or killed him. Another man ly-
ingOn point brought down duck with
a broken wing which scurried for the
water. The man ran and struck the
duck with the muzzle of the gun and
in so doing got sand in it. lie blew
most Of it out and shot out the rest of
it. Well, after that shot he found
little blister two inches from the muz-
zle about the size OF mans little fin
ger.
Moral.-Do not shoot distractions of
any kind out of your gun if you value
your life or gun.-Uncle Dan in ANA
teur Sportsman.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1905-03-08

"Some years ago" said hunter,
"when | lived down on the eastern
shore of Maryland, where / was born,
| had passed Il whole day Cunning rab-
bits and had not killed one. On my
way home through the woods ! met a
boy who had live rabbit. Ashamed to
go home empty handed, gave the boy
% cents for his rabbit
81 then said to myself, / will tie
Mr.. Rabbit to bush and XII him, and
the folks at home will say Ed shot
rabbit | took a shOestrin@ and fas-
tened the rabbit to a bush and then
stood off, took aim and fired. When the
gun had stopped kicking | saw Mr..
Rabbit flying through the woods. My
bullet had cut the shoestring in twain
and had set the little animal free
Baltimore American.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1905-03-08

Luckily absinth is not much drunk
in England but other bitters are, some
that are only less injurious. Your read
PRS should know that all bitter tonics,
habitually INDUCED in, are apt to do
harm-to depress, not eXhilarate. Such
tonlcs should be taken rather as medi-
clnes than as everyday drinks. You
could bring yourself to melancholy by
means Of gentian, quassla or columbia
as well as by wormwood.-Doctor in
London Mail.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1905-03-08
ORIENTAL PEOPLE.
face of the Women and Classic
Drnpcry of the Men.


Passing us occasionally. going to Je-
rusalem with butter and eggs and little
Jars of leben that showed their thick,
creamy throats ms they were held up
to us, We're small companies of women
In single file As one blue procession
went by the leader called to us: "Why
should you ride and we wall Z Why Is
your lot better than oursY Given the
opportunity for leisurely arg mcnt we
could not by any philosophy nave made
satisfactory answer. We could only
admit the fact as they saw { and rec
ognize the universal world plalnt OF
discomfort.
They carry themselves, Il ese wom-
en-, like figures on an antique fric2e. As
they stride along. holding ir sure bal
nnce on their heads their jars and bns
kets of homely produce, they tread the
stony paths with the grace and large
ness Of action that we of the occldent
have grown to regard MS belonging only
to the age of PraXltcles
The men are also admirable i'm the
simplicity of their gestures, the big
lines of their attitudes, the swing Of
their draperies. | saw youth fling his
mantle over his shoulder and fold II
about him exactly in the manner of the
classic Greek sculptural in his finely
unconscious pose God save the day
when these sons of Canaan clothe their
limbs in our ungainly garments!-NIet-
ropolitan Magazine.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1905-03-08
Something Wanted.

A bachelor, old and cranky, was sit
ting alone in his room. His toes with
the gout were aching, and his face was
oerspread with gloom, no little ones
shouts to disturb him-from noises the
house was free. In fact, from cellar
to attic twas rs still as still could be-
No medical aid was lacking; his serv-
ants answered his ring, respectfully
answered his orders and supplied him
with everything. But still there was
something wanted, which he could not
command-the kindly words of com
passion, the touch of a gentle hand.
And he said, as his brow grew darker
and he rang for the hireling nurse,
"Well, marriage may be failure, but
this is jolly sight worse"
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1905-03-08

a glass of water makes a fine emer-
gency candlestick Weight one end
of the candle with a nail just large
enough to hold the candle in the water
so that the water touches its top edge,
but does not touch the wick. and then
light the candle. 1t will burn until the
last Nestige of wick is gone and the
flame will not flicker. The melted tai.
low that runs down but serves to hold
the candle more stationary Black
smith and Wheelwright.