Arizona republican., 1905-04-22
By esllett Burgess and Will Irwin.

Well" said the Harvard Freshman. after the last tale was told, I'm dead broke, and my brain seemed to have gene out of business"
 I'm broke and my hearts broke. too" said the Hero of Pago Bridge.
 I'm broke similar" said the ex-me- dium, "and my nerves is a sufferin' from a severe disruption"
 Coffee John thumped his red fist up on the table.
 Bryce up. gents." he exclaimed. 'Remember there's nothink in the ryce but the finish as the dark 'orse says, wen e led 'em up to the wire! They g many a man 'as went broke in this ere tarn, an as lived to build four story 'ouse in the Western Addition, a. they's plenty more as will go broke afore the trans stop runnin' on Mar ket street. IL ain't on'y that the gals here is Drettier an homblier, an stryt- CT an wickeder than anyw'eres else in Christendom, but things go up an, darn every other wye a man can nyme- It corffee an sinkers todye an cham payne an terrapin tOmOrrer for 'arf the people what hits the village. They's washerwoman's darters wOt's wearin of their diamonds art on Pacific av- enue, an they's larst years million aires wot's Twin in two rooms darn on Minnie street. It's the wye O life in a new country. gents, but. they's plums a-gettin' ripe yet, just the syme, every bleedin' dye. give yer my word! Good LawdI Look at me. myself! Good tell yer wot's 'appened ter me in my time!"
 And with this philosOphic introduc- tion, Coffee John began
 THE STORY OF BIG BECKY.
 When I fust struck this ere port, I was an yble seaman on the British bark Four Winds, an I was abart as green lad as was ever plucked. When I drored the $9 that was a. comin' to me I went ashore an took a look at the tarn, an I decided right then that this was the plyce for me. So l calm ly deserts the bark, an I ain't set me foot to a bloomin' gang plank from that dye to this, syvin' to tyke the fer " to Oakland.
 Me money Iarsted abart four dyes. The bleedin' sharks at the sylor board in 'ouse charged 5, a femile in a box at the Golden West dance hall got awe with 3 more, an the rest was throwed into drinks prOmiscus. The fourth day in I 'adn't bloomin' penny to me nyTnes an was as WreIcHeu as a COW in a cherry tree. After abart twelve hours in 'ElFs Arf-Acre l drifted into a dive, darn on Pacific street below Kearney, on the Bar bary coast, as was the Barbary coast in them dyes! It was a well known plyce then, an not like anythink else wot ever done business that I ever seen. Bottle Myers, it was; per'aps yer may ave 'eard of it? No?
 Yer went in through a swing door with a brarss sign on, darn 'allwye as turned into a corner into a wider plyce were the bar was, an beyond that to a all that might ave 'eld, should sye, some sixty men or there abart. The walls was pynted in a blue distemper, but for a matter oi a foot or so above the floor there was wot yer might call a dydo O terbackei juice, like a bloomin' coat O brarr pynte. On a bit of a stage was { row of performers in farncy dress like a niggar minstrel show, an a beery little bloke sat darn in front. bangin a tin-pan pianner. reachin' for fl drink with one and occysional. with art leavin' off plyin' with the other.