The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-06-24

~ ouR "euulng Trip. The Duke
But what are we going to do after
ward?-Life.
she told me she was unmarried,
and now I find that abe is a divorcee."
Wen, isn't Divorce unmarried Pr
Houston Post.
Did he ever figure In the divorce
court" mo; his lawyers did all that
Tor him. He simply paid the bills."-
Yonkers Herald
She-No, / can never marry Won. |
All our family is opposed to you. He
but II you are not She=I said |
all our family-Ex.
she-How do you like my new
coat7 The Friend-Do you want an
honest opinion7 Sheer course not.
-Fliegende Blaetter.
Mr.. Bjones-How wonderfully Mrs
Robinson carries her age Mrs.
Bsmith (sweetly) Yes. considering
now much there is OF Tx.
THE equator" wrote an English
schoolboy in his examination paper,
Is menagerie lion running round
the center OF the earth"-Ex.
You don't agree then that seeing is
believingT mot muchl l see some
people every day that 1 never could
Observation-Disclosures Ledger.
ementine-Arabella, would you
run after man? Arabella-Yes, 1
would; II mans worth having he is
worth running after.-Brooklyn Life.
The Woman Cooking at a hideous
specimen)-Oh, what a dreadful crea-
trref The Man with infinite RELIEF
Can you see 1t, too?-Harper's Week
ly.
Pompous Waiter-Have you order
ed, missl Timid Little Girl taking
her first meal at a restaurant)-N-no,
sir; but I've equested--ChicagoT rib-
une.
Can a man marry comfortably on
five hundred dollars a yearY' "Oh,
yes. But he can't stay married COM
fortably on any such sum."-Cleve-
land Leader
slimson-Wnlie, they tell me you
have the reputation OF being the worst
boy In school Willie-Yes, father, and
1 can tell you l didn't get 1t without
struggle.-Life.
Grocer-What is 1t, little girll Little
Girl-Mamma sent me for lamp
chimney, and she says she hopes II
will be as strong as that last butter
you sent us.-Pick- Me-Up.
Mamma-Here's the man for that
I'll e, - Lot him
Tommy-Where is it7 Mamma-Up-
stairs, of course. Tommy-Ohl
thought it had run down.-Ex.
Wigwag-Why do you insist upon
carrying your shirt home from the
laundry instead of having It sent
Harduppe-So that folks will know
that I have two.-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
"Bliggins puts great deal Of
thought into his work" Yes" SAID
the sarcastic person: ~he works ter
minutes and then thinks about it FOL
an hour and a quarter. Washington
Star.
Katie-Tell me, Edith, what did yoV
say when Charley proposedf Edith
Met oh, there was no occasion 10
me to say anything. Charley had sai'
. all that was necessary. = Boston
Transcript
: Church worker-Would you assis
, Us, good sir, 10 send a missionary Z
the cannibals1 Mr.. Gotrox-Not mucl
+, I'm a vegetarian-but I'll assist yol
to send them some easily digested &c
a reall-Puck.
Z Haven't you any ambition to worl
: as your father did at your age?" Ger
tainly not" answered the glide
: youth; III were to work what woul
have been the use Of fathers working
: Washington Star.
t 1--WE can't have everything in thi
+ ufe," said the philosopher. NO" al
: swered Dustin stsx; 1.-The ideal bu
d Impossible combination is a million
aire menu with a deck-hand appetite.
7 Washington Star.
; ..I reckon Bill must have been CT
n ont for one o. these geniuses ths
e writes for the magazines" said ii
/ old Georgia farmer. because he can
s make cash enough to have his ha
Il cut. and would ruther watch ST.
v than dig a wellr'-Atlanta Constlt
10 ton.
l. suppose" said he, feeling his wa
d "vour father should ask me what n
J. expectations are in-er-this dire
it tion. What shall say?" Speak Il
B. truth" replied the sweet girl; ''t'
q him you don't know."-Philadelph
Is Ledger.
1t "Ah." said Mrs. Oldcastle; q
1t you're reading Mrs. Binkleton's ne
story7 Don't you think her style
t. almost too idlomaticT Il hadn't 4
a ticed IT," replied her hostess, but
9s wouldn't be surprised II 1t was. Y
ct know 1t runs in their family. s
is had a niece that was only half-w
d. ted Chicago Record Herald
ID "Jabez." growled old man Hardly
u "what in tarnation are you carry
IN thet thermometer outdoors an ba
n 40 often ferr "Jest want to see
a. difference in the temperature, pa" I
n plained Jabez. well. you let IT slol
ID Keep the mercury runnin' up an do'
m IN thet tube an first thing we kn'
the Thermometer II be wore out
there'n be 25 cents throwed away
Judge
Lorrain and Nature.
en- Nv the great Italian masters lai
.cana had been used almost entir'