The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-03-04
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lawaA@ f0N

Clara-Did he propose to Won ho,or.
or after be kissed you? Maud can,
tell. During the excitement I forgo,
all the details.-Life. eO'
Husband-You are alwavs too,,,
for bargains. Was there ever tine
when you wasn't a bargain hunted
"lie-fes' dear; when l married Won.
Scissors. '0D'
MIS-. Chatterson-It was such
reilef to have my husband fail. Mrs
Cnlpway-How so? "Oh. was 60
AFRAID we would have to pay all those
ills."-Life.
Cyril-You may spurn me. cruel one
but remember, l shall not always be a
clerk at 80 a week. Marie-Thats lust
the trouble. You may lose your lob at
any time.-Chicago News.
Parent (anTily)-Those "school
shoes" bought here for my bow did
not last two weeks Dealer with sur.
prise)-He must have been wearing
them out of school.-Washingto Life.
Teacher Gn spelling class)-Johnny.
spell fail" JOHNNY can't. Teach
er-You can't spell that simple word?
Why not? Johnny-'Cause you told
me there was no such word as fail
New Yorker
Pansy (who enjoys having her moth
er read to her)-Wead some more,
mamma. Mamma cannot, dear; my
eyes are too tired. Pansy with fine
scorn)-But wead wiz 90 mouf, ma
New York Times.
rs your husband up YETI" inquired
the early morning caller. 81 guess he
is" replied the stern-looking woman.
I'D like to say a few words to him."
$50 would l. He hasn't come home
yet."-Catholic Standard.
Ernestine-I don't see why your
chaperon should have been offended
because Jack played the piano. 1t was
certainly better than lovemaking
Moyrtilla-Yes, but he insisted upon
playing always in the Way."-Chi-
cago News.
Toni don't see you automobiling
with Miss Giddyun any more. Jack
No; weighed her in the balance and
found her wanting. Tom-Wanting
what? Jack-Well, wanting to face
the parson with me, for one thing
Chicago News.
Little Johnnie-When Miss Nextdool
got married, her mother threw an ole
slipper after her. What was that for
Little Ethel-Oh, they always do that
That means that her mamma ism
never going to spank her any more
Smiths Weekly.
This servant-girl problem will MAKE
me old before my timer "B0thers yol
too, does it," Indeed it does. L
| have an ugly maid my husband il
away all the time, and If have
pretty one he is at home all the time
and daren't go away; so there it is.
Houston Post.
Mrs. Woodby-You don't mean Il
say you paid my milliner's bill to-day
Mr.. Woodby-Of course. The bill
reached me yesterday. and though
the milliner might need the money
So Mrs. Woodby-Simpleton! How
do YOU expect us to be considered rea
swell if we pay our bills promptly :
Philadelphia Ledger.
Maude-Did you read that magazin
article in which a physician advocate
vawning as a means of stopping III
disa greeable buzzing in ones ears
Clara-Yes; and he is right, too.
tried it on young Borum the othe
evening after he had talked continl
ously for an hour or more and Il
took the hint and left.-Chicago Dan
News.
The following notice was recent
found tackled on the door of churel
..There will be preaching in this nous
a week from next Wednesday, Prov
dence permittin', and there VIII
preaching whether or no on Monua
Following upon the subject, He tina
haliaveth and is baptized shall
soved and he that believeth not sha
, no damned at $3.50 in the afternoon
Clinton CMo) Herald
travelling man who drove acro'
7 the country to little town IN wes'ei
J. Eonsas the other day met iarih'
bouling a wagon-load OF wate
o aVvhare do you get water?" he aske
9 ..Trn tho road about seven miles, Il
b farmer replied "And you haul wa''
. Zen as miles for your family al
: seoo,-s. yep" "Why in the nan
I, 90 sense don't you dig wei! asA'
g a.: traveller. Because it is just
\ 60 ono way as the other stranger
e Denver Republican.
= Ne potts was filled with nervo'
i ,s whenever she travelled ana NJ
}. notts always had his hands run
- 70 quiet and reassure her a
said Mrs. Potts. wakehii
Sor husband from a SOUND steep !"
2 sorthern railway car "Aigernon'
e .a,,+ Won TO find out why we are goil
w." '. t,,,s fearful speed. The car is DUN
u IN me and swaying till | can an. scarce sit
r s ,ne ont of my eyes" Mr.. Potts SAT
a and looked out of the window AZ y
an SanI,t landscape. "See that brid'
: I'D on the curve?" he asked siee
I T TT awen, we have to go over ihat
/ . s'' minute. and probably 1t isn't We
s+rong and they want to go over
l u,,tb as little strain and as quick
| as possible. Now go to sleep Il QUIZ