davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-10-29
desires Of the person receiving it some

desires of the person receiving 1t some-
how never i gee horses. alsS
InEother words the human Wishing ap,
paratus invariably turns out more wishes
than the income produces dollars to graft
ify9 them. The accounts won't balance,
Though everybody knows they ought to
and expects to even up things next year.
Fortunately or Unfortunately, us the
case may, be, next year never comes.
1T IS like that ever-rromised. ever-in-
tangible, perenninlly evassve thing, to-
morrow ~ Tho future, even as our hopes
of Increased prosperity, is ever before. us.
We wouldn't have 1t otherwise for we
use tho future as the dumping ground
of our good resolutions. Nobody ever re-
solves to reform this instant minute, we
all determine to reform next week. Tho
postponement, mind you, Is mot made
with purposes OF evasion but In order
that we may reform on maturely-con-
sidered, rock-rlbbed. deeply-pondered
basis
Nj At this very minute any one OF us
could recall the names Of scores OF Wor-
titles who fully intend living within their
Incomes next year. They see the error
of their. past ways and are done VIII
they will be after Jan'
unry first.
The more we think about our extraya n
CANT conduct in days ngonc. the more
clearly wa see where we have dono
WronE-how lltte foolish we were 70
have gotten -Four Aleads under WAFER
though our inexcuspbe prodisality' .
It takes but the most elementary knowl-
edge OF arithmetic to figure out inc M
come proposition and to demonstrate "
our own and everybody ese's satisfhct,oh
that we have been plum fools, blooming
idlots, hopeless chumps and unmit'sateo
gumI's.
For instance, when we were earning
only $50 n week. we managed, somehow
or. other, not to- live within our income !, y
Is true. hut to come very near doing 1t.
Tho following year We got S week
more, and this time too, we came mon
strously near keeping within the REQUIRED
compass.
Indeed, we only missed It by 52ON
whereas the year before we had missed 1t
by $3.50. And now. although our weekly
wage is $35, we round VI. the twelyemonth
with deficit of $500. II we keep up IN
this same cheerful ratio for the next
ten years, things will be glorious we
may get to the poInt whore the weekly
Income Will Is 800. and the annual short
age $1,000.
But tho time has arrived when some-
thing must be done--whcn the real
strength Of our character will be proved
beyond tho peradyenture OF a doubt.
lust watch us next year,
There's no denying the fact that we
have been weak--very weak. The world,
| the flesh and tho devil let alone the
coal man and the wedding presents, have
run us spang up against stone wall,
hut that makes no difference. We can
and we Will be strong
II necessary we won't have our hai1
cut so frequently; we will shave ourselves
out out cigars, and, for the first time "
our lives, force our wives to economize.
And right here, is but fair 70 remark
4 that our wives arc the cause Of 1t all
anyhow. Women do so like to mako {
show. We have known a certain lady
noted for her prudence and her propen
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-10-29

whose wife and daughter have gone to
Newport on a matrimonial mission. The
glare and excitement Of Tenderloin life
alta time when the rest OF the world find
peaceful repose, Is gay enoughgto make
the husband slightly forgetfu! Of his fam
lily pride, and he falls a victim to tho
shares and wiles that brook trouble.
!. IT Is a tale of misplaced confidence, of
innocent folly and mental retribution. in
.volving a series Of the funniest ncidets
ina giablc. All of the trials and tribula-.
tons that besct an unsophisticated mansin
search or after-hour@ sport, and how far
reaching the exchanEeiof a hat can play.
upon the fears of guilt, are treated in the
most amusing fashion, and atEthe same
time sufficient opportunities are allowed
for a succession of complications wherein
a well assorted lot of comedians and a
whole swarm of pretty and talented girls
disport themselves In entertaining style.
Scenic ARRANGEMENTS and costumes of
brilliant conception form significant Items
to be considered In these advance times,
and Gay New York. promises several
rare surprises In both of these depart
{ Il
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-10-29

b J.. p. i = r. ~ /.
Conspicuous among the customs more re
honored in the breach than in the Oh y
servance is thcs practice Of liyi trFs
rather existing ones income,
especially when one has no income 20 g.
speak Of. 4, :, !, !, !,
Several million householders today 7.', a. are :
make affldayit that already they are
sufficiently amused.
The authorities examined on this SUB
Iceland their name is legton--aver5s mag "a
while other occupations may become
nc not onous, If not boring. the JOB OF ny ny,
mo within ones income is incessnntly.
.perpetually and most thrilltngly en-
citing. =. Z !, W.. !, =. !, =, y q
the same. Some are smaller thnn oth t,
who uses a microscope will tell you that.
One universal law, however peryafld Z,
the whole systematic income ana the
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-10-29

1t. This. IN itself. is quite an achieve
ment. and the success the opera has at
taincd should makesMr. Spenser the hap
piest of men. "A
It Is not often that play or opera pos
sustaining two different runs Of ] % nights
each outside OF New York, but this Miss
Bob White has done. and that In Phila-
%dclphia, too.
The brightness and beauty OF the opera
appeal to the most blase theatrt-gOers,
and the favor with whichsit was received
everywhere Indicates clearly that Mr.,
Spencer, in following clean ethods. avoid
Ing rLsque scenes and speeches, has struck
the keynote to success in the comlc-opera
field The theme is also well and brilliant-
~ treated, and the versatile brain Of
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-10-29

car. the final stopping Of the auto by a
posse Of police the Wild chase across
r mode ope' !,p sGoIaf robb err
All of This is yivdly shown In a moving
picture production that is part, Of the
Will be presented by Archie l.. Shepard
during his engagement at the Academy
Tuesday night. u
Gay New York"
Gay New York, the musical comedy
that lays claims to more s.pretentlous
class of entertainment, Is entitled to. viii
be tho important attraction at tho Bjou
all this week Aside from the abundant
througjhout tie various scenes this lavish.
~ artistic, production actually boats OF
well-deflned farcical plot. ono that re-
qrires the quickest kind of action to tun-
fold successfully
The story relates the all-night' adyen,-
ture Of q heretofore correct husband,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-10-29

far from any human habitation. One
could further imagine, after the arrival
in the auto for, the motorcycle highway
man. Joined later by bicycle policemen,
the eventual breaking Town Of the motor
ridden by the ELECTROMAGNETIC approach
the police on wheels, the clever tricking
of the entire party OF pursuers by the
highwaylnan, who succeeds in. getting pos
whom he compels at the point OF a gun
to steam away at top speed. leaving the
balance of the party far behind. the tap
ping OF telephone wire by the police,
Informing officers ahead to be on the
lookout for the robber and the stolen
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-10-29
author and composer has pleced together
an effort which cannot fall Of success,
Stewards Moving Pictures,

In this advanced age. It is only natural,
to expect that the highwayman Of old.
mounted on a horse. armed to the teetn,,
the terror of all stage travellers and lone.
~ wnyfarers, should be Superseded nv me
man, riding fully equipped motorcycle
and preying on tho aristocracy who arc
continually tourlng,lthe most lenHly paris
Of the country In their automobiles.
with their wives, spinning along u coun-
try road, suddenly confronted by single
masked robber, who at the point OF MS
revolver compels them to ailght iron.
( the auto, and after having relieved them
Of heir yaluables, forces the Chauffeur. to
empty the ,gasollne tank, thus rendering
the machine powerless to pursue him.. ana
then speeds away on his notorscy,cle,
leaving the party robbed ana Ae'p!e1ss
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-10-29
The ParIOr

A 5-piece Tapestry or Velour Upholstered
Parlor Suit, fine In grain Rug two pairs Of Lace
Curtains, a Mahogany Table, a Parlor Lamp two
pretty Pictures-al for $3635.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-10-29
We Write Most Letters.

The Postal Union has just issued a
return for 1904 which gives some inter-
es,ing figures as to international post
age. The United States sends most let
ters-+109 millions during the year.
and Germany with 1,84S millions. France
sends sai millions, and no other country
reaches go millions. "A The use OF post
cards has enormously increased. The
German Empire heads the, list with l,1Gl
millions posted during the year. Tho
United States comes second with no 1-2
millions.-Era Magazine.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-10-29

Every garment presented In this
group Of Ladies' Suits is unquestion-
ably priced at q saving-irlade In fine
.Cheviot and Broadcloth; tho long
5tight-ftting coats, lined with either
sntin. or silk, value $16.50,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-10-29
MUSICAL COMEDY
At BOTH B D. /. HOUSES D..
~Miss Bob White An Old.
Favorite III Richmond, On
Academy Boards.
GGAY NEW YORK; AT BIJ0U.
Lively Time Promised for the
Broad Street House During
Coming Week.
At the Academy.
Tuesday, matinee and night, shepard's
Moving Pictures.
At the Biiou.
IN mat uc,, u,

All week, Gay New York"
Since results are known to be the proof
nf excellence Of achievement Willard
6penscr. whose latest successful effort,
miss Bob White.' will be seen in this
night, should be placed in the front rank
of successful men of the playwritng
class, for in addition to this latest COM
edy opera, he has won fame rs the author
Bonnie Both were more than ordinarily
successful, 8s
In this latest success Of his he occu-
pies an enyablc position, for he has
written both the play and the music for
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-10-29
When en- You
Can Go
House |
keeping

in four rooms for $131, or as
much more as you care to
pay, it's time to stop that
billing and cooling and settle
down to business. Don't
tax your own patience or
keep your best girl in sus-s
pense. What's that? You
haven't the money? Haven't
we offered you our bank ac-s
count? Don't you know
that your credit islgood at
Petit & co.'s2 Haven'tyou
five or ten dollars to pay
down, as an evidence of good
faith, and can't you pay a
couple Of dollars week7
Don't you know that your
finances will improve after
marriage7 Haven't we told
you time and again, if you'll
furnish the girl we'll furnish
the house? Just go through
e ~ i 4 =
the stock--select what you
want and have it charged.
An honest name takes the
/ place Of a bank account here.
Once more we say, Your
credit is good.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-10-29
The Bed Room

An oak-finished Bed, Dresser with large
plate-glass mirror, Commode, two Chairs a splen--
did Rug, pair Of good Pillows, twenty yards OF
Ingram Carpet and ten-piece Toilet Set-all Tor
XA2.rO
The Bourbon news., 1905-11-17

Main Street Accepted.

The National Bitumen Company, Of
Indianapolis, has completed Main
Street, and without fear of contradic-
tion we believe the National Bitumen
pavement put down by this company
here is superior to any pavement
made.
The Street Committee, Hon. James
M. O'Brien, D. G. Parrish and T. F.
Brannon, have accepted and paid for
the pavement and are highly pleased
with the Bituminous macadam pave
ments of Paris.
When we say above that we think
this pavement superior to all others,
it is not us alone saying it,, for we
have interviewed our bankers, law
yers. doctors, merchants and citizens
in general, and find them unanimous
in their approval of the pavements.
We have also found in our talk with
our citizens a number of them who
have seen Bituminous macadam pave
ments in other cities, called by this
name or some times called Bitulithic,
and they unhesitatingly tell us that it
is their opinion that the National BIZ
luminous pavements of Paris are su-
perior to all others.
Third street was completed last
year and the heavy hauling on this
street to and from the L. & N. freight
depot and the large grain and seed
warehouses thereon, proves conclu-
sively by the appearance of this
street, the superiority of the NaUion-
al Bituminous macadam pavements
over all others when it comes to last
ing qualities.
We understand that the street
committee is contemplating other
work to be given for National Blum
inous pavement in the near future
FLOWERS gotten on short notice by
J. S. Warden.
The Bourbon news., 1905-11-17
Scientific Precautions.

We disinfect with DIR. Geo. Leinin-
gers Solidifide Formaldehyde and
Apparatus. No contagion. No bad
order. Every scientific precaution
taken. This method has been adopted
by our Health Board, and nearly
every Health Board, Hospital and
School Board in the leading cities in
the United States. The Pullman Co.
disenfect 1,20O cars every week with
DR.. Geo. Leininger's Solidifed For
maldehyde and Apparatus.
If GEO. w. DAVIS, Paris, XIV.
The Bourbon news., 1905-11-17
FOR SALE

One hundred selected Jersey COWS,
and dairy business; milk all engaged !;
situated just outside. the city limits,
with machinery, wagons, etc., neces-
sary to conduct first-class business.
Reason for selling, want to change
business. For further particulars
address
M. B. LOWELL,
14-1m Paris, Ky.
The Bourbon news., 1905-11-17
Ordered Out of Service.

Governor Jelke, of Alabama. has
ordered to be mustered out of the
service the Capital City Guards, the
only negro organization in the State,
because the company played "Hang
Jeff Davis on Sour Apple Tree" on
the main thoroughfare.
The Bourbon news., 1905-11-17
Official Count Stopped.

The official count in Fayette county
has been stopped through the discov-
erv that Mrs. Fannie G.. Falconer,
who carried the county proper for
County Superintendent of Public
Schools, had also been voted for on
the Democratic city ticket.
The Bourbon news., 1905-11-17
FOR RENT.

Four nice upstairs rooms, suitable
for small family, without children,
for light housekeeping. Water and
gas, two squares from court house
Apply at this Office.
The Bourbon news., 1905-11-17

Go TO V. K. Shipp for country leai
sage, red pod pepper for sausage. You
can't make it good without.
The Bourbon news., 1905-11-17
Lost.

A Daughters of the Confederacy"
gold pin. Finder please notify NEWS
office. 17-tf
The Bourbon news., 1905-11-17
Hickory Nuts.

We have nice lot of large. and
small hickory nuts. 'Phone- 400.
14-2t BAIRD & TAYLOR.
The Bourbon news., 1905-11-17
Delicatessen Goods.

The best delicatessen house in the
city of Paris is H. Margolen's. He
handles all kinds of the best cheese,
figs, dates, raisins, California grapes,
etc. Oysters, celery and the finest Of
fresh fish always on hand. (tf)
A ToDDY or high-ball made from
old Edgewater Whisky, sold by Hill
& Brannon, will make you feel like a
winner. 1t
The Bourbon news., 1905-11-17

FLOWERS gotten on short notice by
j. S. Warden.
The Bourbon news., 1905-11-17

HOMEGROWN honey in the comb,
in sections or bucket, white, sweet
and pure, 1890 per h., at V. K.
Shipp's. Pure, sweet new honey is
very scarce, and now is your chance
for winters supply.
The Bourbon news., 1905-11-17

INTERVIEWED grape juice, de-
lightful and harmless beverage, un-
equaled for family use. For sale by
Hill 81 Brannon 1t
The Bourbon news., 1905-11-17
Buttermilk.

Fresh buttermilk every day. 'Phone
$50. 17-2t LINK GROCERY Co.
The Bourbon news., 1905-11-17

EVERYTHING to be found in a first
class bar is what you will find at Hill
& Brannon's. 1t
The Bourbon news., 1905-11-17

+ For RSALE.-Four-room and hall cot
tage. Rented at So per month, for
$3.50.
Three-room cottage with porches.
Nice lot, $1,050. J. w. LANCASTER.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1905-11-03
The Rome Of Genus.

The Rope of Genus" is the name Of
a famous picture painted by Polygno-
tus, a Greek artist, who died about 426
B. G. He was the first who gave life,
character and expression to pictures.
According to Pliny, he opened the
mouth and showed the teeth Of his fig
ures and was the first to paint women
with transparent draperies and rich
headdress2s. The picture represents
Genus as Il poJr man, weaving a rope
of straw, while behind him stands an
ass consuming the other end of the
rope. The silent lesson thus conveyed
is said to have had q wholesome effect
upon the wife of Genus, whose eX-
travagance had been his ruin, so that
she became frugal and thrifty AMI
helped him to rise from penury t.
great prosperity. The phrase like the
rope Of Genus" signifies profitless Ia
bOP
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1905-11-03
I'm srin.u ninner

'!i." ,cris,.c sCory is told of Dean
sna..l, WA1 aI,er Il series of expensive
ENTERTAINMENTS il London invited six
Of his hosts to dinner. They arrived,
expecting the usual costly surfell Of
good things. They found the table laid
with u piece OF Lead, u bottle of wine,
d plate at each cover and Il waiter be-
hind each chair. They took their places.
Mr.. Dean" said the lord chancellor.
1--WE fail TO see the JOKE"
Swift lifted his plate. Underneath
were the bill Of fare of a neighboring
cafe and n half crown. lie turned to
the waiter at his side and gave him the
money. Here" he said, bring me the
worth of that in goose and potatoes"
The guests each sent the money IN
der his plate for whatever dish he
chose, and the dinner was eaten and
enjoyed.
Swift then laid upon the table f100
and, deducting the three crowns which
had been spent, said: The remainder
the crumbs and fragmentS-is to go
to the poor. We all have had enough
money to satisfy hunger. You shall
advise me how the rest is to be spent"
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1905-11-03
Grim story of Napoleon.

A grim story of Napoleon is told by
Christian Was In q Frankfort review
under the title of Napoleon at Yafa."
A great number of the soldiers were
down with the plague, and one day
Bonaparte sent for his chief surgeon,
Larrey. IF l were you" he said to
him, Il should put our plague patients
out of their misery. 1t would save them
from having recourse to opium to
soothe them But my duty is to make
them live" replied Larrey. BOnaparte
then revealed the grim truth. He and
his staff were reduced to travelling OH
foot because the horses were all being
used for the transportation of the sick.
He must therefore either abandon the
plague stricken to the cruelty of the
enemy or get rid Of them. Mr.. Was
maintains that the order was carried
out accordingly. There is an end, OBJ
serves the Journal DIES Debats, to the
illusion of the famous picture in the
Louvre of "Bonaparte Visiting the
Plague Stricken Soldiers ut Yafa."
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1905-11-03
Sweet Potato CoRec.

II coffee is suspected of being harm
full to the nerves it is the part of wis
dom not to drink it. Most substitutes
are unspeakable connections. During
tire war sweet potato coffee was
brought to Il are perfection and is said
to be a very palatable beverage. Good
Housekeeping furnishes an old war
recipe: Pare the potatoes, cut them i'll
small dice and let dry for a day or two.
Parch like coffee, grind and put away
in a cool, dark place. Mixed with one
third real coffee, the potato coffee was
much liked, and even when used alone
it was said to be very good. The weak
nerved might try this substitute with
the certainty that they are getting a
drink that is at least unobjectionable.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1905-11-03
A Trick of Sex,

A man seated closes his knees to
catch an object thrown on his lap. A
oma in similar circumstances opens
hers. This is a fact that Mark Twain
used in "Huckleberry Finn" Huck is
disguised as a girl, and a woman
throws an object into his lap. Though
he wear a skirt, he hasn't sense
enough to spread his knees apart so as
to catch the object better-he claps
them together, as a trousered man
would do. An English novelist in a
book called 1.-THE White Rose" uses the
same idea. Pierre de Coldirodi, the Ital-
ian romancer, uses it in his well known
"Maidens and Love" The Frenchman
Henri Paul uses it in his widows
Tears"
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1905-11-03
Making 1t Pleasant.

That's what 1 call a good dinner"
remarked Bobby as he leaned back in
his chair with an air of %repletion.
Bobby" said his mother, I'm
ashamed of your saying such a thing"
The visitor who was dining with the
family laughed heartily. Bobby ap-
preciates the good things of life" he
said, like all the rest of u.s."
Don't you think it was a good din
rer?' Bobby asked the visitor.
Yes, indeed" the latter replied, with
a smile. Il enjoyed it thoroughly"
Mother said she thought you would.
because she didn't suppose you got
very much at home"
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1905-11-03
Two Stories.

Several years ago, soon after "Treas-
ure Island" had appeared and attract
ed public attention to Mr.. Stevenson.
two gentlemen were travelling up to
London from Norfolk. One of them
was reading Treasure Island" Pres
emily. having finished the book. he
dropped it into his travelling bag, re-
marking, well 1 think 1 could my
self write a better chlld's story than
that" The other, who. by the way,
was his brother, urged him to try.
Six weeks afterward the former hand
ed to the latter q complete tale in
manuscript. 1t was king Solomon's
Mines" the first novel hat made a
reputation for Rider Haggard.-London
Queen.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1905-11-03
A Dramatic Scene,

The most dramatic scene ever wit
messed in Westminster hall was that
trial in Henry Wills reign when 43O
men and II women appeared before
the king and some Of his great mobiles
with ropes around their necks on a
charge of being concerned in the rising
of the prentices on the previous May
day. Fortunately they had good friends
in three Queens-Katherine. Mary of
France and Margaret of Scotland
who begged for their pardon On their
knees, ard when Henry at last yielded
to such supplications the prisoners, it
is said, gave a mighty shout for joy,
throwing their halters toward the top
of the hall" The stage has never pro-
duced anything to rival that dramatic
moment.-London Graphic.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1905-11-03
We Usually Find Our Level.

Do not hypnotic yourself with the
idea that you are being kept down. Do
not talk such nonsense. Nobody Of
any sense would believe it. People
will only laugh at you. Only II thing
is keeping you down, and that is your
self. There is probably some trouble
somewhere with you. OF course there
are employers who are unjust to their
help, there are instances in which en-
ployees are kept back when they
should be advanced; but, as a rule,
this is only temporary, and they usual
~ find their level OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
Magazine.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1905-11-03
swaliowed TabIe Knire. For Fun.

hhbit HtNCN fOE rum
The glass eaters, iroa c..ewers ana all
other classes OF human o5tricles' are
well known to the frequenters OF dime
museums and side shows. but it Is sell
dom that we see. read or hear of a
man who swallows indigestibles of ex-
traordinary size just for the novelty OF
the thing. Such Il man, however, was
John Cummings, whose history Is Civ
ell III extended notices in the medical
and surgical annals of Boston. lie
watched a French sword swallOwer'
IL day and Immediately after at
tempted a similar feat with a common
table knife. The knife accidentally
slipped down his throat, and a few
days later, 1t having given him no in
convenience. he repeated the expert
ment. Both of these exploits took
place at Havre de Grace, France. On
his return to Boston he boosted of the
feat and upon Wing bantered repeated
the dose again and again. During the
following ten years he swallowed in all
thirty-five knives and forks, finally dy-
ing in terrible agony. He died in 1909.