The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1905-12-23

tnA snall make good mate,
darling? She-0h, you're all right
How do you like your captain ?-Chi-
cago Journal.
kelly-Con Cooney wor pinched this
afternoon for intimidatin' a shtrike
breaker. Welch-Ye don't tell me? An
phWat passed between thim2 Kelly
Wan brick.-Puck.
Tax Assessor-Can you give me
some idea Of what your husband Is
worth? Lady-Really, I don't know,
but wouldn't take a million dollars
for him.-Chicago Journal.
Great Author-Waiter, this steak 10
as tough as leather. Waiter-I've al
ways heard you was an original char
acter, sir, but Pm hanged If you don't
say just the same as all on 'em do
, T1t-Bits.
"Popl Eyes, my son." what is a
screen for2" ITO hide things, nv
boy" "Pop" Eyes, my son." us
that the reason they screen q ton Of
coal, to hide the weightT-Yonker
,
Mamma-Now, Elsie, dear, what 10
cat? Elsie-Dunno. Mamma-Well,
what's that funny little animal that
comes creeping up the stairs when ev-
eryone's in bed? Elsie promptly
Papa.-Illustrated Bits.
Mrs. Civilians (of the nat abovep-
Your children woke ME up at o'clock
this morning with their noise, and l
didn't 60 to sleep ag lin. Mrs. Stint
Did tbeyH The darlings! They are so
full Of Iife!-Chicago Tribune.
Enthusiastic think you are just
grand, Mr.. Bandleader. Are you very
busy all the time? Orchestra Conduc-
tor-Why do you ask, madam? En-
thusiast-Oh, you beat time so splen-
didly. / have some rugs to beat on
Saturdays and I'd like to engage you
in advance to do them-Philadelp
Bulletin.
Mr.. PETIT Ridge, Of London, at the
annual meeting Of the Invalid Chill
dren's Aid Association, told of two
little girls who were sent out Of 4
> board school to wash their faces. Said
the elder to the younger, proudly: my
face Is much dirtier than yours" "Ot
course" said the other. you're 8
year older."-Daily Chronicle.
, Gerald, what makes your eyes SC
: red?" care they red, Mile? Then II
/ must be because l didn't sleep wei
9 last nignt." Are you troubled with
r insomnia? You ought to take some
i thing to cure it." But l don't want
: to be cured Of 1t. lie awake think
8 ing of you" It was plain sailing fol
Gerald after that.-Chicago Tribune.
9 A small boy from the north who was
8 visiting a relative in one Of the south
: ern States where convict labor Is EN-
ployed In public improvements be
came very interested in the men ant
! their black and white striped clothes
> One day he went to circus, and TO
the first time in his life saw a zebra
o ooh. auntie," he cried, look at tn
convict mulev'-Lippincott's Magazine
- Hang the luck! lost a peach o
f an umbrella to-day" Yes, peopl
y don't seem to have any conscience
about swiping umbrellas. How oil
you lose it?" "Well, 1t was standing
AGAINST the wall in the restaurant.
kept my eye on IT, You pct; vo
have to! Well?" "And just as wa
getting up, the fellow that owned
h came along and took it"-CleVelau
;{e Leader.
h At the end of January Mrs. Wunde
n E' brought her nice new expense BOOK
T. her husband. ~ can figure up my Jar
y, nary balance ali right" she said' 'ou
1o I'm either S19.O5 behind or ahead.
a. a, remember what all the other Items al
le for. but I can't recall whether l sper
rs that $1o.05 for something or you CAV
st It to me for household expenses" MI
q wunder looked at the page for a me-
ment. then handed back the book Wit
condescending air. my dear D
aa,d. "that 1908 seems to me to IND
y y cate what year this is."-Judge.
Among the visitors at an art exh
hilton were two old ladies from ID
country. They were examining VIII
great interest a bas-relief of a youn
Greek shepherd, beneath which wei
4 inscribed the words, Executed
I tara Gotta" ~ wonder where Teri
| Gotta is" ventured the elder OF II
| two turning to her companion. We
| now / ought to know" hesitated tt
| other. ''but I can't seem to place
inst now" "Ah, WE'LL reJoined u
frst speaker, as they passed on
| must be a dreadful place If they eN
4 cute harmless young boys like TN
there. "-Phfladelphia Ledger.
II On one Of the old turnpikes yet
manning In the South big touring q
hsd twice rushed through the ga
| without paying toll. The third TN
/ thew made the attempt the negro 10
/ man shut his gate and brought inc
I to a stand. With indignation the ma
/ Dozen occupants of the car declare
/ thew were entitled to ride free. "Lo'
| at your own board" said the spoke
Z ..TL .nrs ETyary carriage, ca