davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-08

grow weary OF the labor
. That begets my bread and cheese
When I see my lucky neighbor
Sally forth to take his eass.
How can nurse resignation
In my own rebslllous breastf
He IL OF for his vacation.
And sadly need rest.
All the two long weeks Of summer.
While hc gluts himself with play,
! keep working. growing GUNNER
As each day succeedeth day.
But, with self congratuIation.
today admit twas best.
He Is back from his vacation.
And he soreIy needs a rest.
IT. A. Daily In Catholic Standard and
TineG
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-08
An Annferr.

"rm never going on another fishing
trip with Jinx.'
whats the matterY'
"He's rank amateur; you should
have heard the account Of the trip he
gave my wife last night. He queered
me good and plenty"
"Told some whoppers, chi"
"Whoppcrs nothin'! He told the
TRUTH Houston Post.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-08
Right In Lac.

Hicks-iIe's trying berry culture now,
you know, and he says he's having
considerable success
Wlcks--Yes?
Hlcks-Yes, although he admits the
returns are small as yet.
.Wicks - We'll. that sounds natural.
You might call that success, with small
fruits. ."-Catholic Standard and Times.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-08

Mrs. watkyns-Do you know any
thing about this Moroccan question:
Mrs. Wylkyns-No. only heard a
paper read about It by one Of the mem
bers OF our woman's club somerville
Journal.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-08

"ob, yes, he's a very intellectual
man.
what makes you think thatT'
II judged 30 from his talk"
what does be talk aboutT'
"TIe's always talking about how In
tellectuai be is."--Plalnnefd Press.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-08
Goodness 4. Easy.

Is 1t better to be beautiful or good
asks an editor who Is trying to write
down to the level Of the female intel.
lect. Well, we'd rather be beautiful. II
its alice sAmee. We can all get the
goodness for ourselves.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-08

"what kind OF show have your
the manager was asked
"Well." he replied guardedly. that
depends on whether am talking to
the public or revising the salary list
Chicago Pest
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-08
A compl,men. Wa. Intended.

"Why did you say in public that
your wife was a regular cati Don't
you think that was a cruel remark?'
"Why, no." said Jones, surprised. Il
meant II as humorous comparison.
She ~ 10 fond Of expensive rugs and
cushions" Cincinnati Commercial
Tribune.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-08

Dyer-IIigbee is very stubborn. He
never will give up.
Iiyer-I wish had known II before !
loaned him that n.--Tarrytown (N. ~
News.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-08

.-S...: ..s whst ns, s sarssy DsrEuss iss
was educated under the supervision Of
4 remarkable woman. his mother.
ELIZA ARcHARD CONNER.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-08
Sunday Excursion to north Beach.

Sunday Excursion to North Beach.
The Ilwaeo Railway and Navigation
Company are selling round trip tickets
every Sunday from Astoria to all
Gotta, at a rate of one dollar for the
points on Long Beach, including Nah
round trip.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-08
ITCHING ECZEMA
And All Other Itching and Scaly
Eruptions Cured by Cuticura.

The agonizing itching and burning
of the skin, as in eczema; the fright
full scaling, as in psoriasis; the loss of
hair and crusting of scalp, as in
SCALED head; all demand a remedy of
almost superhuman virtues to success
fully cope with them. That Cuticura
Soap, Ointment, and Pills are such
stands proven beyond all doubt.
Crsicarn Soap Ointment end Pulls are sod II roagaous
tAs word. Potter Drag 4 Chem. Corp Boss5n, soss
ProprietorA Rs-ssnd ioF = Hov to Cure Eczema
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-08

The Astorian, rs cents a month.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-08

The Astorian, IS cents month.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-08

One of. the important movements
among women at present is the very
general organizing into unions Of those
who work at trades. When women in
the trades organize and hang together
as men do the wages OF the feminine
sex will rise all along the line. The
Women's Trades Union league is doing
brave work In this respect One of the
newest trades organizations among wo
men is that OF the finishers and button.
hole makers on garments of all kinds,
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-08

MutsuhltO. me wonderful emperor OF
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-08

II Is very satisfactory TO know that
In our republic girl may still work
her way through college and be liked
and respected by all her classmates.
even though some OF them are million
aires daughters That Is the case
with Miss Lucy Esther Macdonald,
who was lately graduated from Smith
college, She was class president dur
Ing her senior year,
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-08

II you are obliged to say dlsagreea-
bic things to either grown people or
children practice the art Of saying
them MS gently as possible. Respect
the human dignity in all that wears
human form. Think Of the manner In
which you would be willing to have
others speak to you under such cir
cumstances
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14

She-Do you believe that ignorance
is bliss? He (naively)-Why? She
You seem SO happy.-Yale Record.
Nell-How do you like my new pho
tograph? Bell-Lovely! l never should
have known that it was you.-Somer-
vile Journal.
Book Agent-Now, sir, can 1 sell
you an encyclopedia. Old John-Noa,
I don't think so. I'm tew old to ride
now.-Punch.
Goodwin hear you gave twenty
five dollars to help repair the church ?
Graspit-You have been misinformed.
I merely subscribed that amount
Chicago News.
Friend-Why do you allow your
daughter to bang the piano SO hard?
Papa-I'm hoping she'll either sprain
her wrist Or bust the instrument
Chicago News.
$50 you were at Mrs. Marrable's
dinner yesterday, Flossie. What was
the menu likeY II really can't tell
you, for didn't take any. It's thing
I very seldom toch,'
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14
rRAckLAYING WHILE you WAIT.
Up-to-Date Machinery Makes Railroad
Building Easy.

Up-to-Date Machinery Makes Railroad
Building Easy.
The West is country Of big things.
and railroad building by machinery is
one Of them. Even the roadbed on
which the track rests is made up by
the steam and horse grader, great
holes filled up to the track level auto
matically, and the ballast to hold the
ties and rails in place distributed in
the same manner. In fact, such has
been the development Of mechanical
aids it is not an idle boast that with
them two dozen men could span the
continent with a band Of steel. A few
statistics may give a clearer idea Of
the quickness of it all. To put down
sixty feet Of track means, of course,
to set in position 12O feet Of rails. The
average rail Is thirty feet in length,
so that four rails are required to cover
the sixty feet. The track-laying ma
chine has laid 1,1SO such rails in ten
hours. This means the laying of no
less than Ito feet Of track every
hour, or nearly one-third of a mile.
Yet to accomplish the feat all the ties
must be placed on their beds, and the
rails not only laid upon them, but
fastened to the wood and made ready
for service.
The marvel Of it all Is the amount
Of manual labor that is saved by the
genius Of the inventor. First come the
scrapers doing all the work of the hand
shovel, yet two men only are needed
for each machine-one to guide the
horses and the other to adjust the
blade and chute. With the steam
shovel are the engineer and his assist
ant, for the shovel fills and empties its
scoop into the cars without the touch
Of a hand. Compressed air unloads the
cars, but the dirt train usually has
half q dozen men aboard for emergen-
cies, besides the engineer and fireman.
On the track-laying train two men
load all the ties on the tie car and one
man moves it to and fro. For boiling
the rails and handling them on the
rollway six men are enough. About
twice as many arrange the ties on the
roadbed and fasten the rails. Add the
locomotive crew and you have the &C.
tual working force. In putting the
finishing touches to the track perhaps
twenty men may be needed after the
ballast train has passed over it.
Booklovers' Magazine.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14

One girl is company; two a breach
OF promise suit.
livery woman is always doing some
tnlng either to get fatter or thinner.
No woman is SO blind as to suppose
handsome eyes are made only to see
with,
The kind Of mittens that keen q
glrfs hands warm are a mans fin.
gers.
For every one way there Is to make
friend there are several thousand ia
make an enemy.
A woman would like to be rich so
she could give pennies to the poor and
pearl necklaces to herself.
1t must be awful lonesome for q
paid woman not to be able to wash
her hair with her best friend.
A man could stand his wife telling
him all the gossip If she didn't ex.
pect him 10 take sides about it.
When girl has had the nightmare
you can generally tell it by the way
she says she eats no more than a bird
A man could always afford to give
his wife furs and pearl necklaces If
being married weren't so expensive In
other ways.
Inc k1ndest thing a woman ever does
to young man is to have him fall in
love with her, but not marry her be-
cause she is already.
When a man squeezes his wifes
hand she can tell the way he does il
whether, he is absent minded and
thinks 1t is somebody else.
The cleverest thing is the way a
girl with bad attack of Indigestion
can just love to have her sweetheart
read sentimental poetry to her.
A woman considers herself natural
born financier when she goes over her
bank balance again and finds it is q
dollar more than she made it the first
time.
When a man has been engaged to a
girl and meets her twenty years later
he never knows whether to treat her
as If she were his grandmother or his
school teacher.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14

o. 3. WILLIAMS.

George Cary Eggleston's Juvenile.
Running the River" has been adopted
by the Kansas Pupils Reading Club.
Oriental Aphorisms," gems Of East
Indian philosophy, compiled by Emily
Palmer Cape, a &c mo. packed with
condensed wisdom, is among the recent
books Of the Grafton Press, New York.
A. G. McClurg & Co.. Chicago, will
publish at an early day "Beaconsfeld:
A Romance Of Queen Victoria's Reign"
by an Englishman whose identity ID
not revealed. 1t Is apparently COM
pound of historical novel, romance, BIZ
ography and study Of society and OF
politics, and, most Of all, study OF
that most extraordinary man OF tho
nineteenth century. Benjamin DisraelL
at once statesman, man Of the WORLD.
sport, romaneer, dreamer and prophet.
"a Dictionary of the Drama" a
guide to plays, playwriters, players
ard playhouses In the United States
md Great Britain from the earliest
tines to the present, a two-volume
work by w. Davenport Adams, II near
~ ready for publication by the ]. B.
Lippincott Company, Philadelphia. In
deed, the first volume Is out. Atten-
ton is given to managers. scenic art
lists, musical composers. critics ana
writer's about the theater, as well an
for the theater.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14
when the window Sticks.

Mr.. Appleby, who in the course OF
sixty years had only twice left his ma
tive town, looked up from his read
ing of the weekly paper with an ex-
preston of mild interest on his wealth
er-beaten face.
"There was a kind of set-to in the
railroad train yesterday, mother, ne
said. .'betwixt two women, about
whether a window should be open or
shut and the question has risen as to
whether the folks side Of a window
control it or the folks behind. l could
read you out what it
"You needn't" said his travelled
spouse. with great briskness. Il
haven't been down to Boston once
wear for ten years without learning
that neither the folks beside window
nor the ones behind can control tho
body can but the brakeman. And some
times he can't"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14
NEW postscripts TO Her Will.

II is not only the privilege OF wom-
an TO change her mind, but she does
II sometimes with astonishing ire
ouency. The will Of Mrs. Margaret
Shearman was offered for probate at
wellington the other day. Though the
will, had been drawn only few years
before. il had six codicils attached,
ooh of which materially changed the
whole instrument, and some of them
- esta blished what others had an
n,,,led. It is said that it will puzzle
tha LAWYERS to get the matter straight
80 out-Kansas City Journal.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14
As High as He Went.

Governor Hayward of South Caro-
lima tells joke about young Bos.
tonian who was visiting New York
City and had occasion to go into the
Park Row building. On reaching the
twenty-sixth story, which is the high
est, everybody except the Bostonian
left the car.
'Is this as high as you go?" asked
the young man.
Eyes, sir, unless the elevator falls"
answered the truthful elevator man.
New York Times.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14

CHARLES Raymond Macauley. who has
contributed the interesting illustra tons
Tor the Mcclure Phillips edition Of
foes tales, issued under the title Of
Monsieur Dupin," is probably best
KNOWN BY his cartoons made four or
nVe years ago for various New York
aaig papers Previous to his taking
ny ~e work Of cartoonist. Mr.. Ma
eauiey had many vocations. Begin
nlhs as drug clerk, he was success
,e'y sssaegrapher, a bookkeeper, a
ue''raeoe In watch factory, an ae-
vi, law student a newspaper man
ana an editorial writer.
Writing to friend about Mrs. Rog.
et a. Fryors recent book. "Reminis-
Cvuoes OF Peace and War;" Miss Ellen
1'aSs'~ says: Last night I sat up
eN''und until l finished it, begin
nag WIN laughter and ending in real
ears 1t Is vivid, true, and positively
1ea.Uenaing at the last. How won
~ Gu now rebly wonderful she is!
"A the women I have ever known.
49,, seems to me not only the most
~a, nA uhs' but the richest In an that
49, s A'F perfectly rounded nature.
g. 'nen this book! The tragedy Of
.u,. ean understand, for it is not diff
n, 70 DO tragic; but the delicious,
H neVer-failing humor-the hui.
,0ss u8t Drightens tearSthis, I con.
'' DAs taken me completely captive"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14
Az Others See Us.

"Old man Green, the grocer. died
early this morning." said the village
editors better half.
"Huhv exclaimed the local molder
Of public opinion. ''he's been dead for
years"
"Why, William. what do you
meanY' asked his wife in surprise.
Exactly what said, my DEAR" re-
piled the strenuous knight of the
shears. "He never spent dollar for
advertising, and any man In business
who doesn't advertise is a dead one. /"
Cincinnati Inquirer.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14

That was splendid back fall yoa
made in your death scene last night"
remarked a young member OF the
company to the eminent tragedian.
The latter looked ut the f1atterer with
. suspicious glare. YES" he said.
.and I'd like to lay my hands on the
blithering idiot who soaped the stage
f1oor.n-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14

How did you get your father to let
you take painting lessons?" asked the
first Chicago girl Il couldn't get mine
interested at ALL"
Neither could when talked of
paints" replied the rich pork packers
daughter. ''but when called them
pigments he cooked UP his ears
Philadelphia Public Ledger.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14

Younp Lady-You ere wonderrui
master Of the piano, hear. PROFESSOR
Won spieler Nired for the occasion)-I
h,ay Accomplishments sometimes.
Young Lady-Accompaniments to sing
tng2 Professor Won Spieler-Aggom-
naniments to gonversations.-New
York Weekly.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14

There are men whose mission in life
seems to be to say disagreeable things,
and make you feel uncomfortable.
Don't let them throw you Off; don't
pay any attention to them.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14

Mrs. Albee-Of course, you married
ME-. Bebee fer love? Mrs. Bebee-Well,
yes, l suppose yoa would call it that.
I married him to protect him from no
less than three widows In our street.
II hadn't snapped him up, one Of
them would have been sure to get him.
Boston Transcript.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14

osYou can't keep a good man down."
said the boarder who has a mania for
unotations. 'Unless," observed the
fiuffy-haired girl who typewrltes De-
cause she needs the money. he mas
seat in a crowded car. Then you can't
get him up."-ChicagO News.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14
Reason Enough.

Say; what makes you so cranky.
anyway
well, guess it would make you
cranky. too. to have verybody accuse
you Of being cranky"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14

Mrs. Jones-1 think it's the most
ridiculous thing to call that man In
the bank a teller" Mrs. Johnson
Why? Mrs. Jones-Because he simply
won't tell at all. asked one to-day
how much my husband had on deposit
there. and he just Bits.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14
rr~Ar.E DISEASES

and disorders of every nature success
fmliv treated. Also secluded home for
ladies before and during confinement.
Consult lady physician. free, in person
or by mail. CONFIDENTIAL: Paris-New
York Medical Institute. Office, d. Esta-
brook Bldg, 1881 Second Az. Corner
Union. p. o. Box 816. Seattle, Wash.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14

we wish the wise men could agree
On their good advice. That which
one wise man says is dangerous. an
other wise man says Is very desirable.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14

There's no such thing as living Gods
way until you love Gods way.
It is hard to catch heavenly fruits
when you are carrying earthly frets.
Some try to Quench mans thirst
by throwing him into boiling water.
No human character can ripen or
sweeten without the sunshine Of love.
The height Of fashion is usually the
badge Of the depth Of cowardly folly.
The people with the opera cloaks
won't have all the front seats in heav-
en-.
Many people who reside in hell got
there by resting On the road to Heav-
en-.
God never fails to open you a path.
though He may refuse you philos-
ophy.
The flowers Of sweet character
bloom where the storms Of trial have
blown.
The clouds may shut out tO-day's
sun, but they cannot hide yesterdays
promises.
The peace that passes understanding
comes from the passion that passes
knowledge.
There is a good deal Of difference
between the sensation Of the gospel
and the gospel of sensation.
Many man nails up his windows
at some one sin and then lets the devil
himself in at the front door.
Many who fear to walk under lad
der have no hesitation In climbing all
over the commandments Of God
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY -.
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund the money ii 1t fails to cure
%. N. Groves signature is on each box. 2ac'
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14

A GUARANTEED CURE FOR PILES
Itching, Blind, Bleeding or Protruding Piles.
Your druggist will refund money II PAZO
OINTMENT fails to cure you In to IA
days. Zoe
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14

PIEa Permanently Cured. No fits or nervousness
fIt6 after ffrstdays useof DR.. Klines Great Nerye
Restorer Send for Free 81 trial boff and treatise
Dr. K n Kline. Ltd, 93f Arch St. Philadelphia, IA
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14

Mothers win find Mrs. Winslows's Soothing
Syrup the best remedy to use for their children
during the teethinR period.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14
Nun RuulNIAh|I !

lam compelled by sense of gratitude
to tell you the great good your remedy
has done me in acase of Contagious Blood
Poison. Among other symptoms I was Sc
verely afflicted with Rheumatism, and got
almost past going. The disease got a firm
hold upon my system; my blood was thor
oughly poisoned with the virus. lost in
weight, was run down, had sore throat,
eruptions, splotches and other evidences
of the disease. was truly In bad shape
when began the use of S. S. S., but the
persistent use Of it brought me out of my
trouble safe and sound, and have the
courage to publicly testify to the virtues Of
your great blood remedy, S. S. S., and to
recommend it to all blood-poison suffer.
ers, sincerely believing if it is taken ac-
cording to directions, and given fair
trial, it viii thoroughly eliminate every
particle of the virus. JAMES CURRAN.
Stark Hotel, Greensburg, Pa.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14

For bronchial troubles try Pis0's Cure
for Consumption. Is Is good cough
medicine. At druggists, price % cents.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14

1t sometimes happens that a father
knows almost as much as his son.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14
TRUMPET CALLS.

Rama Horn Sounds q Warning Note
tn the Uuredcemed.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14

Painful swellings in the groins, red erup'
tious upon the skin, sores in the mouth
and loss of hair and eyebrows, are some OF
the symptoms of this vile disease. S. S. S.
Is an antidote for the awful virus that
attacks and destroys even the bones.
S. S. S. contains no Mercury, Potash or
other mineral ingredient. We offer 81, 900
for proof that IL is not absolutely yeget.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-01-14

II o T scoldinS
never makes a.
warm heart.
Love n e v e +
n e e d 8 to b 9
taught by duty.
A new hat does
not make a new
heart.
Better a dry
sermon than one
that evaporates
before it can be
applied.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-02-16
(M1u: Gh0J. EBr0n>1

To be successful wife, to retain tho
love and admiration of her husband,
should be women's constant study.
At the first indication of ill-health,
painful or irregular menstruation,
headache or backache, secure Lydia E.
Pinkha1n's Vegetable Compound and
begin its use.
Mrs. Chas. f. Brown. Vice President
Mothers Club, 81 Cedar Terrace, Hot
Springs, Ark, writes:
Dear Mrs. Pinkham:-
For nine years dragged through miser-
able existence, suffering with Inflammation
and falling of the womb, and worn out with
pain and WEAKNESS. | one day noticed state
ment by woman suffering as 1 was, but who
had been cured by Lydia E. Pinkham's Veg
etable Compound, and determined to try it.
At the end of three months was different
woman. Every one remarked about it, and
my husband fell in love with me all over
again. Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound built up my entire system cured the
womb trouble, and felt like a new woman.
I am sure it will make every suffering woman
strong, well and happy, as it has me.
Women who are troubled with pain.
full or irregular menstruation, back.
ache, bloating Tor fatulence), ]eucor-
rhea, falling, inflammation or ulcera-
ton of the uterus, ovarian troubles,
that bearing down" feeling, dizzi.
ness, faintness, Indigestion, or nervous
prostration may be restored to perfect
health aad strength by taking Lydia
b. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound,