The San Francisco call., 1905-08-01

works on physical culture and gloom
| lily casting them aside, picked up
| What Shall We Eat?' and scanned it's
pages with such show of interest as to
attract the attention of the complain
ant, who was about to inform him that
the establishment was not a free read
tng-room, but place for the buying
and selling of literature, when What
Shall We Eat?" suddenly vanished and
Mr.. Booker started doorward. Suspi
cious that the guide to proper feeding
had been pilfered and was then in one
of Mr.. Booker's pockets, Mr.. Wellen-
derf instituted a search that resulted
in full confirmation of his suspicion.
The defendants wife, who manages a
lodging house on Howard street, in
formed the Judge that her husbands
gastronomic ailment was recently con-
veyed by him from Maine, in which
State he was born. reared and made
stomachically weak by partaking in
discriminatory and at irregular inter-
walls of the popular viands of the COM
monwealth, consisting largely of corn
pone that was warranted to sink in
stantly and of its own volition, hog lib
orally garnished with hominy, butter
milk of acidulous sourness and cider of
adamantine hardness.
Ere he came westward Mr.. Book
er consumed oceans of liquefed spe-
cifics guaranteed to rout dyspepsia,
and the pills he swallowed out
numbered the bullets exchanged in
the Russo-Jap war. 1t was with hope
that change of climate and scenery
would remedy his internal imperfection
and its accompanying mental derange-
ment that he crossed the continent, but
alas! he had dallied too long with the
| indigestibles of Maine. Neither his
body nor his mind has been benefited
by the change of locality. While he
has religiously adhered to the fari-
naceous diet prescribed by a great local
medicine man, he has yearned for the
corn pone and other gastric-juice de-
f1ers of his youth, and the yearning
has accentuated his mental unreliable
ity. His brain certainly was awry
when he stole What Shall We Eat?"
for the book was Of such tri1ing cost
that he could have paid for 1t hun
dredfold without exhausting his Pc
cuniary resources.
The court apparently attached some
credence to Mrs. Booker's statement,
for Mr.. Booker was remanded for one
week and allowed to go on his own
recognizances. Then, accompanied by
plying glances, from an epicurean
bench and bar of gourmets, the mis-
cradle Mr.. Booker was escorted from
the court by his better half
80 dearly did George Peterson and
George Schmeal, youths from Oakland
love good fight that when the pianist
and the drunken sailor were sweeping
the dance-hall floor with each others
persons and the bartender attempted to
blow an alarm whistle they-the two
Georges-barred his path to the door
and prevented him summoning the po-
lice until the pianist yelled "Enoughw
as the seaman triumphantly sat upon
his PROSTATE form. Then the bartender
blew a shrilI blast, and when the peace
guardians arrived he gave George Pc
terson and George Schmeal into Gus
tody on the charge of interfering with
a mixologist in the discharge Of his
duty.
DUTY ruthin'" said one of the
Georges to Judge Fritz. DE pianny
fighter started de scrap wild de sailor
guy, and as long as de sailor wuz
a-gettin' de wust of it de bartender
mug didn't do a ting, but jest as soon
as de sailor guinea begins ter get de
upper han, den de bartender bloke he
wants ter cut loose wild his whistle,
wantin ter save de pianny Jumper
from a-gettin' wat wuz a-comin' ter
him, o. course We fought de sailor
chap WIZ entitled ter a fair run, an we
saw dat he got it. Dat wuz ALL"
AS the defendants had spent about
thirty-six hours in Jail the court opined
that they had been amply punished for
their maintenance of fair play.
-
Thomas A. Guild, chauffeur, was
whirling Thomas Burns and wife and
their gentleman friend home from the
ocean beach night before last when
Patrolman Levy brought the automobile
to halt on the south drive of Golden
Cato Park and arrested its conductor
for violating the ordinance which pro-
hlbits the running Of such vehicles in
the great public playground after IL
clock p. m. The policeman told Judge
Fritz that his watch, an instrument of
infallible accuracy, recorded 1i:15
o'clock when he made the arrest, but
the defendant swore that he also
glanced at the same timepiece and saw
that it's minute hand was between the
XI and I marks. His Honor dismissed
the case on the ground that the ordi-
int 1.saral1t lnra