davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-05-24

b 'S Jo'NP Oh SppiS iilC,
and Pm SO close to heaven l can hear
the angels smack their lips!"
you'd want two 'niggers' to fan
you, wouldn't you, colonel?" some one
asked.
al shore would!' replied the colodel,
II clean forgot 'em!"
f. l.. S.
THERE WAS NO NEED FOR TALKING
'Does the baby talk YETI" asked a
friend to the family.
"No," replied the baby's Disguised
little brother; "the baby doesn't need
to talk"
Doesn't need to talk?"
"No. All the baby has to do is to yell
and it gets everything there is in the
house that's worth having. "-Tit-Bits.
Too MUCH WATER
Mary had a little lamb,
And it was full of vim;
1t got in Wall Street. That's the end
The lamb it couldn't swim.
MONEY TALKS. Pat: "Sure, voted
tn Republican ticket!"
Mike: "Would we trust such a party
as thot?"
Pat: "They didn't ask me to-they
paid me cash. Puck.
w FRIENDS.
To gain his ends
In Life's fierce tussle,
Mans two best friends
Are Hope and Hustle.
AN EARLY RISER. -"Children," OBJ
served the parson, are the sunshine
of our lives"
"That's right" rejoined Newpop,
with a large sigh, "and son-risc for me
is about 2 a. M. "-Chicago News.
Her lips were uplifted
She leaned on his breast
Her head touched a button
And he did the rest.
II l. CAMP MEETIN'.
| like the time of the old camp mectin'-
Baskets brimmed with the richest catin'!
Sermons clear
Where the skies can hear
An the rose-chceked sisters smilin'
there!
Like the time of the old camp meetin'-
Time too bright to be so neetin'?
Where the wild woods ring
AS we rise an sing,
An the gospels trimmed with a rose of
Spring!
II ADVANTAGE OF POVERTY.
Harris-They tell me you have had a
very narrow escape from death.
Spurr-Yes; they were going to oper-
ate upon me for appendicitis, but they
discovered in time that | hadn't the
money to pay for it. Boston Trans
cript.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-05-24
Mans Observation-Disclosures

is often as great as woman's. But
Thos. S. Austin, Mgr. of the "Repub-
%lican," of ~Leavenworth, Ind, was not
unreasonable, when he refused to allow
the doctor to operate on his wife, for
female trouble, 'Instead," he says.
1--WE concluded to try Electric Bitters.
My wife was then so sick, she could
hardly leave her bed, and Isl physicians
had failed to relieve her. After taking
Electric Bitters, she was perfectly cured
and can now preform all her household
duties" Guaranteed by Palmetto and
Laurens Drug Co., price so cts.
39-5t
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-05-24
THE coMFoRrARLE coLoNEL.

"Yes," said the old Georgia colonel,
"give me a hammock under a shady
tree, a mint julep on a table beside me,
and Pm SO close to heaven l can hear
the angels smack their lips!"
you'd want two 'niggers' to fan
you, wouldn't you, colonel?" some one
asked.
81 shore would!' replied the colodel,
81 clean forgot 'em!'
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-05-24

SPECIAL NoTICE-I have received q
fine line Of Spring and Summer samples
of all the latest styles. Prices to suitthe
times. Pants made to order from $500
up. Suits made TO order from SIP 90
up. A fit is always guaranteed. l also
invite you to join my pressing club,
only $l.oo per month. Phone $50, Min
ter building.
L. j. DANCY, Tailor.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-05-24
A STEP

This is told of a Philadelphia whose
mother-in-law was alarmingly i'll. One
night the physician shook his head and
said impressively:
"She has got to go to a hot climate.
Mind, l don't mean a warm place, but a
hot one"
THE son-in-law disappeared, but
soon emerged from the cellar carrying
an axe. Handing it to the doctor, he
exclaimed.
Here, you do it! l can't!- Lippin-
colts Magazine.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-05-24

One Case of regular 5 cts printed Lawns.
Special May price .~~. 90.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-05-24
A BOSTON JOKE.

Miss Wreader: SIN your book, Mr..
Skribe, you use the phrase, psycholo-
gical movement half a dozen times.
It's such a lovely phrase. But l must
confess 1 don't know what it means.
Do tell me-"
MIR. Skribe: II haven't the least idea,
Miss Wreadcr. All / know is that it's
all the rage in the literary world just
now. Boston Transcript.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-05-24
FALSE SYMPATHY.

Countryman Ito d~entist) "Thc
tooth next to that 'un aches, too, Doc"
Dentist - Eyes, it aches in sympa-
thy"
Countryman-"Yank it out. Durn
such sympathy"
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-05-24
U AND GROW PAT.
A TIME FOR ALL THINGS.

Miss De Wilsonby: "Do you believe
in infant damnation, professor"
Professor LaTynn: Only at night
Puck.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-07-03
A Hospital for Roswell.

Communication.
1 do not wish to interfere with
plans which may already be formed
by any of our citizens for the good
Of Roswell. l do not even know what
re the plans which are proposed for
building of the hospital frequently re.
,rd. shall inform myself as to who
s to control the property and to
whom it is to be decided before | -ac-
pmmend to anyone to give it moral
md financial support.
have this suggestion to make: If
the people of Roswell are to furnish
most Of the means for building the
hospital and maintaining it let us
+orm a hospital association, member.
ship being based on a certain liked
sum contributed to the establishment
II maintenance of the institution. Let
this association elect a board of di.
'ectors who shall control the hospi-
6al. Let the hospital be controlled
by no religious sect, but let it be
pen TO them all alike. Let the ply
sicians of any church or of no church
have the privileges of the institution
m a perfect equality. Let there be
ixed charges for hospital privileges.
10Th for physicians and patients, cnly
lctual charity cases being admitted
rec.
This, it seems to me, would place
he institution uDon a broader basis.
han to make OF it a ~sectarian institu-
ion and would insure for it a more
General and generous support.
Let me be understood. If sect is
going to furnish the none to puild
I hospital and to maintain 1t, let
hem control it; but il the public are
asked to help build and support it.
let the contributors have a voice IN
IS management.
HENRY f. yERMILLION,
Pastor First Baptist Church.
~
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-07-03
FOR RENT.

FOR RENT.-Large front room, 902
n. Main. 04tf
FOR Rents room house, centrally
located. e. H. Skipwith. SStf
FOR RENT:-A four and a five room
house. Apply at Ell Captain Hotel
05t5.
FOR RENT room house on Mis-
souri, avenue. Apply to ]. H. Hen
ming, 312 N. Mo. 97tf
FOR RENT:-Two pleasant rooms
furnished for light housekeeping.
Apply at 215 West Third street.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-07-03
One Dollar Saver Represents Ter
Dollars Earned.

The average man does not save to
exceed ten per cen of his earnings.
He must spend nine dollars in living
expenses for every dollar saved. That
being the case he cannot be too care
ful about unnecessary expenses. We
ry often a few cents properly invested
like buying garden seed for his gar.
den, viii save dollars outlay later ON.
It is the same in buying Chamberlains
Collie. Cholera and D~iarrhoea Remedy
It costs but a few cents and a bottle
or it in the house often sayes a doc
tors bill of several dollars. For sale
by ali dealers.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-07-03
Classified Ads.
For SALE.

FOR SALE.-Five milk cows. south
of Chisholm hog rancho. Lown-
des 5dt3w1*
FOR SALE-Choice baled alfalfa:
stove or cord wood. f. d.
stock Farm. 53tf.
FOR SALE.-A good New Home sew
ing machine, good as new Cheap
for cash. Address Box 275, Ros-
we'll 95tf
FOR SALE.-About II head register
ed or thoroughbred cattle, including
3 registered bulls, or will exchange
for city property. Box 355 City Of
fee. 99t4*
PRESS FOR sALE-The Record Of
flee has for sale one Cranston
press, seven column folio. Is in
good order and will be sold at a
bargain. tt
FOR SALE.-The Record has for sale
cheap, A rolls of 31inch Manila
wrapping paper. 2 rolls of 6-inch
pink, and one roll of Pinch Mani
la. This is a bargain. If
Sixty acres finest land, splendid
water right within six miles of Ros-
we'll, valued at sixty dollars per acre,
for a few days only. This is a barg-
ain. See us today.-cARLToN BRO
THEIRS. 7stf
FOR SALE.-One Ludinghaus "a
wagon. Excellent for camping with
invalid or travelling; One buggy.
runabout; one single driver; one
team of ponies and harness. A snap
quick for cash. Box 275, Roswell.
N. M. 95tf.
FOR SALE:-One Barnes combina-
ton rip and crosscut saw. n Bar
mes hand saw, one Parks mortise
and uenon machine and II turn
ing lathe. All hand or power ma
chinery. Nearly as good as new. IN
quire at Park Hotel. 04tf
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-07-03
FOR SALE OR TRADE.

For Sale or Trade.-St. Louis well
drilling machine, with six horse
power portable gasoline engine. All
complete and in good running or
der. Apply to G.. D. Stewart, 70S
Penn. ave. 06tf
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-07-03
WANTED.

WANTED: A cook at once, apply at
408 North Richardson. 93t3.
WANTED.-A boy Is or 16 years old
to work in Alameda Green House.
WANTED:- Stock to pasture. l
have pasture with plenty of gram
ma grass for 200 head and good wa
ter. O5t5 w. w. PETTY.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-07-03

We have some nice city property
to trade for country property. We
ave slsn some valuable n pro
perry IN Dorn large q small tracts
that we can exchange for city prop
.erty.-Carlton Brothers. Room IL.
Oklahoma Block s3tf
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-07-03
800 Rambouilles Rams for sale.

| will have 800 yearling Rambouil
let rams at Roswell in September
hat are equal in size and covering
to the best California rams.
d99tewtf. A. G. ANDERSON.
Free. Pecos County, Tex.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-07-03
Fireworks, at the Old New
Idea. A. K. Mott. 03t3

Harry Thorne. who has been up
to the Sand oPint ranch; 40 miles
north. returned yesterday after . very
pleasant visit with Manager Marsh.
and Mr.. Graves, the range boss.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-07-03
LOCAL NEWS. |

c. M. LAWYER returned TO his nome
in Elida this morning.
George Riley came in from Wichi-
ia Saturday night on business.
Dexter will celebrate the Fourth
with an old-fashioned barbecue.
A Knights of Pythias lodge was in
stituted at Artesia last Friday hight.
Flags. all kinds, sizes and prices
at the Ingersoll Book Store. otis.
G. N. Amis went to Hagerman Sat
urday night, to visit until Monday
F. Mcqueen came in Sunday from
Sherman. Tex, on a business visit.
Miss Jennie James went to Dexter
Saturday night to visit a few days.
Morrison Brothers are showing the
best Fourth of July window in town.
VIM. Berliner, OF Dallas, is in Ros-
well to look after business interests.
Ray and May Miller vent to Dexter
Saturday night to spend the Fourth.
J. L. Fleming came in Saturday
night from Missouri, and expects to
locate here
For two of the best orchard prop
ositions in the Valley, see us.-Carl-
ton Brothers,. 9Stf
G.. w. Halliburton and George Eau-
rot were up from Dexter Sunday to
spend the day.
Mrs. Laura Addington left Satur-
day night for Dayton for a short Wis
it with friends
W. l.. Bobo came up from Carlsbad
Sunday morning for a short business
| visit in Roswell.
Moses Schloss came up from Dex-
ter Saturday night TO spend Sunday
with friends here.
A. J.. Hill returned Saturday night
from a trip up the road, where he has
been shipping wool.
Doyle Murray came down from An
| arillo Sunday afternoon for a short
visit with friends here.
NJ. r. Ratliffe came up from Lake
| Arthur Sunday morning for a i've
| days visit with friends.
B. H. Tallmadge came in Saturday
night from Chicago, arriving a DAY
later thar he had intended.
c. L. Higday came up from Lake
Arthur Sunday morning to spend
couple of days with relatives.
Mr.. and Mrs. J. R. Upton left Sun
day morning for a two months visit
in Dallas and Grand View, Texas.
Judge j.. T. Evans and daughter
Miss Lizzie. went to Hagerman Sat
urday night to visit until Monday.
We can locate you on fine govern
ment and. Charges reasonable.-Di
Gus, Frost & Co., Dexter, N. NJ. oct
Mr.. and Mrs. H. J.. Garrard left Sat
urday night for Colorado City, Tex.
for a two months visit with friends
J.. NJ. Carson came down from Anna
rillo Sunday afternoon and will b.
here a few days looking after bust
ness.
Louis G. Robinson arrived Sunda,
from Bastrop, La, for a visit Of
few days with his cousin, r. NJ. Par
sons.
w. Kapteyn returned to his hom'
business visit of several days in Roe
we'll.
Frank Rainwater returned Satur
day night from Galveston and othe
points, where he spent a months va
cation.
Miss Sadie Mcpherson and her sis
ter, Mrs. Susie Edmondson went I
Hagerman Saturday night to spen
the Fourth.
Mrs. F. B. Miller left Sunday TO
Ravia, L. T., for a visit. She took he
children with her n will be gon
all
Forty acres of the finest Vale
land. good artesian well, good locs
tion- This is simply a bargain.-Car
ton Brothers. $751;
Mr.. and Mrs. H. T. Stanfield an
Mrs. J. NJ. Miller left Sunday mornin
for Higgins. o. T., for a visit wit
their brother.
John Hammond came in from Da.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-07-03
Artesia Lands.

We have some excellent bargains
in desert assignments. decided lands
and ACCOMPLISHMENTS. Buy in the dull
season and get the rise that will De
sure t o follow.
JOHN RICHEY & SONS.
Artesia. N. NJ.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-07-03

Hondo reservoir, and natura11y Il Z
very popular man these days.
Miss Sadie Moore has arrived from
Palmer Lake, Colo. to accept the po-
sition OF assistant operator al i
Western Union telegraph office. HeT
SHIFT at the keys is from ten a. m.
until ten p. M. She is q niece Of
Agent DeArcy, who Is IN charge OF
the office.
Mrs. Jennie Buoy returned Satur-
Jackson, Baldwin and other points
in Mississippi. She was accompanied
here by her cousins, Mrs. NJ. N. Wal
ker and her sister. Miss Marguerite
Norman. of Baldwin. who will be here
for. a visit of indefinite length.
We have some very fine reservoir
lands at reasonable prices, lands in
which an investment will yield an in
come of from % to 100 per cent with
in s to IL months. These lands are
h finest in the West, and will soon
command fabulous prices.-Carlton
BROS, HOOm L., BLOCK. 8StI
We nave for sale in Roswell a
rood business proposition. The bust
ness is well ocated. The goods ara
nice. new, neat, clean. For certain
>articular reasons the parties, though
loing a good business, wish to make
! change. Some country OF city pro-
)erty would be considered in the
1eal.-Carlton Bros, Room IL Okla
homa Block 2Stf@
Mrs. n. Costa and daughter
Sadie left this morning for An
where they will join a party 81
n an excursion to variouA
he Northwest. They wH
Denver to the Epworth
~ention and from there
trips all over Colorado hey
skirt western Nebraska 6eir xax<
o Yellowstone Park
:ursion will spend FfoA
here they go to Hell a. Spokane and
Seattle. Then the Np-win@p be to
Cortland and the~fair. along with a
sight of the fishing industries and a
ride on the big waters. From that
place they will go to San Francile&
hen Los Angeles. then across NJ
IA to Salt Lake City and home>
Colorado again. The. excursion oce
,ies a month. but they will spend We
months. giving more time in Cali&er-
MA thar he regular trip calls for.
Rev. and Mrs. S. R.. Twitty leave to-
morrow morning to join the same
party at Amarillo.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-07-03
See Our Window Display.

Very latest box stationery from IS
cents up. This is all clean, new stock
at prices to move it fast. Ingersoll
Book Store. 03tf,
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-07-03
CHOLERA

FChild not Expected to Live From One
-Haur to Another. but Cured by
chamberlafn's Collie, choI
era n Diarrhoea
Reedy.
Ruth. the little daughter of Il N.
Dewey of Agnewvile. Va, was sericu
sly Ill with cholera infatum last sum
mq Ne gave her up and did not
rzxpect her to hive from one hour TO
! anothsr,s he says. 4 happened to
think of ChamberlainE Collie, Chcl-
era and Diaprhoeae Remedy and got a
bottle of + from the store. In ave
hour I saw a change for the better.
we kept on giving it and before she
had taken the half Of one small bot
tie she was WELL This remedy is
for sale BY ali dealers.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1905-07-10
NUMBER 8.
Powers Consider Rebel Ship.

London, July Cit is understood
that the movement of the Kniaz Po-
teml1ine has engaged the serious at
tention of the powers who are ex-
changing views on the possible neces-
sity Of taking joint measures to pro
tect the neutral commerce of the
Black Sea.
Special dispatches from CONSTANT
nople give an unconfirmed report that
the KniaZ Potemkine engaged two
British officers at Kustenji.
According to a dispatch to the
Standard from Kustenji, the Kniaz
Potemkine is managed by an executive
committee numbering so.
The Odessa correspondent of the
Standard asserts that the Black Sea
squadron, including the Georgi Poboe-
donosetz, has now been sent to search
fol- the Kniaz Potemkine.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1905-07-10
DUNES PLAN
FOR MUNICIPAL
STREET CARS

Chicago, July 6.-Mayor Edward f.
Dunno told the city council last night
of his plans for municipal ownership
of the traction properties. 1t was
not municipal ownership absolutely,
but as the mayor explained, the
nearest thing possible under the ex-
listing conditions The plan which
the mayor offered provides for the
Incorporation of a company, to be
managed by five men who command
the confidence of the people of Chi
cago. To this company is to be
granted a 20-year franchise covering
the streets in which the rights of the
old companies already have expired
or soon will expire. 1t is to be
stocked to the amount necessary TO
establish a street car system in these
streets, roughly estimated at 24O
miles. No bonds are to be SOLD.
The stock is to be deposited with a
trust company, which the five direc-
tors are to select, so as to prevent a
purchase of it and consequent control
by outside interests. The stock Is
to be sold at popular subscription AT
any time the city may elect it can
take over the property on an alp
praised valuation.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1905-07-10

that time he was able on one or two
occasions to attend to his office du
ties, but it was the last fire in which
he took part, his lungs and heart hay
ing become seriously affected by the
complications which set in.
Chief Meminger would have been
so years old in October, and mad been
a member Of the department for over
thirty years. AS he was connected
with engine company No. 1, except
while he was assistant chief. he took
part in fighting large share of the
city's fires.
First Assistant Chief ThomasJ. Clan
cey, who has been acting chief during
Chief Meminger's illness, probably
will succeed him as the head of the
department. The choice is in the hands
Of the police and fire commissioners,
subject to the approval of the mayor.
Chief Meminger had been gradually
failing, and it was known some time
ago that he had responded to his last
alarm On Tuesday he weakened per-
ceptibly During the night he contin-
ued to fail and yesterday it was known
the end was near.
Became Fireman in 1874.
Chief Herman Meminger was APP
pointed to the Milwaukee fire depart
ment September 2, 1874. Had he lived
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1905-07-10
Untold Damage Done to Buildings, Grow
ing Crops and Cattle
Reliable Man After Viewing the Ruins
Places Fatalities at 90

Frank. son of Sam Eakin, killed by
lightning.
The injured:
James Simpson.
Miss Alice Simpson.
-- Moore, arm broken.
- Hobbs, fatally.
G. r. Christian and family.
j. M, Steward and family.
C. II. Williams, leg broken.
Miss Nancy Austin, seriously
j. ]. Woodson
Frank Woo lson, seriously.
Mrs. Jessie.
r. G. Shakelford and wife.
C. z. Shakelford, injured about the
head. Four of his children also re-
ceived serious injuries.
Child of Mrs. Mary Lester be-
lieved to be fatally injured.
Many farm houses were swept en-
tirely away.
The Baptist and methodist
churches at Belcher are considerably
damaged.
The Dixie school house, six miles
south of here, was entirely blown
away. Hail stones as LARGE as hens
eggs fell here, breaking much win
dow glass. Reports of the work of
the tornado are still coming IN. The
number Of killed and injured will
probably reach 60.
Ten Dead at Montague.
Montague, Tex, July 6.-Ten peo-
pie are dead as the result of Il tor
nado that passed over Montague yes
tat Gay afternoon,
The dead:
A. F Earl
Miss Sadie Earl, daughter
Burke Earl, son.
Baby Of Lawrence Pillow.
Tomlinson family, consisting OF
husband, wife and four children.
The fatally injured:
Claiborn White, As years of age.
Number of injured unknown.
Among the buildings totally demol
ished are ]. F, Clarks drug store, D..
Y. Lunn's grocery store and offices,
building of G. l.. Alcorn, real estate,
store of Row Hardware company, fiji
teen dwellings.
The tornado lasted 80 minutes.
Hundreds of head of stock in this vi
cinity were killed by the wind.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1905-07-10
Saw the Chicago Fire.
BANKERS TO GATHER.
Ashland to Entertain. State Associa-
ton JULY - and 10


Ashland, Wis. July 6.-Tle
eleventh annual convention of the
Wisconsin Bankers association will
be held at Ashland Wednesday and
Thursday, July IL and 13. A meeting
of the executive council will be held
at the Knight hotel Tuesday evening
July II. A banquet will be given at
the Hotel Knight Wednesday evening,
July IL. at 9 o'clock. boat ride
among the Apostle islands will be
given on the steamer Skater July 10.
Lunch will be served on board, and
the party will be the guests of the
Ashland bankers.
The program is as follows:
Wednesday, July 12-Convention
called to order at 10 a. M; prayer by
Rev. Albion w. Ross; address or
welcome, by George F. Merrill; re-
Spouse by F, j. Carr, cashier Bank of
Hudson, and vice president Wiscon-
sin Bankers association; annual ad.
dress of President G.. n Frat, cashier
First National bank of Racine; report
of Secretary John Campbell cashier
Marshall & Ilsley bank, Milwaukee;
report of Treasurer B. p. Eldred. Be-
lott; report of executive council; re-
port of organization of groups, George
D Bartlett, Stanley; appointing OF
committees on nominations and
resolutions; paper, Bank ADULTS, by
Walter Seymour, G. p. A.
Afternoon session at 2:00-Address,
Trust Companies and Their Relations
to Commercial Banks" E. A. Merrill
president Minnesota Loan and Trust
company of Minneapolis; report Of
chapters of American Institute OF
Bank. Clerks; report of Milwaukee
chapter by M. A. Grattinger, assistant
cashier Germania National bank,
Milwaukee; report of Oshkosh chapter
by Louis Schriber, assistant cashier
Old National bank of Oshkosh;
questions; report of committees and
election OF officers.