The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1905-08-13
HIS MEAN REVENGE.
Her hair was neutral in tint, or tint:

That is to say, there were strands OF
dark yellow, a heavy under stratum OF
inGecisive brown and number OF scat
tered whisps of bronze red.
All of the hair was naturally wavy,
and it was rather attractive and fetch
ing on account of the oddly of the color
scheme of it.
Her husband liked (which, under
old-fashioned domestic canons. ought &c
have been enough-aId he called her
the "rainbow-headed" and tie "pris-
matic-haired" and the "craZy-quilt hir-
suted''-not at all in a mean, coarse
masculine way of jibing. but in manner
of affection, because he really liked his
wife's hair as it was.
But she didn't like 1t.
|. It's variety of tints worried her.
She wanted one-color hair, and this
one color was bronze.
Joe" she said to her husband few
weeks ago. I'm going to have my haiI
touched up"
Joe" let his pipe fall out Of bis hands
and got ashes all over his new SEAS
fancy vest.
''Y'are, hey?" said he. You only
think you are. Think again. What are
you dreaming Of, anyhow"
lust this" she replied. in matter-of-
tact. it's-all-off tone. There's bit oil
every color known to science in my hair
except blue and green and purple. You.
yourself, call me 'chameleon-topped.'
I'm tired of having all sorts and cohdi-
tions of hair. Moreover, I've got fair.
lily-white skin and bee-yu-tiful hazel
eyes-Pm only quoting you, and you
know you used to tell me they were the
/ gorgeousest eyes on the map-and
bronzy hair would just suit me. Where
fore. l remark again. in tone of mingled
yearning and settled decision: Joseph,
I'm going to have my hair touched up F"
well. I'll tell you one thing" he re-
piled, gazing at her steadfastly, "if you
do that it'll let me out. It'll be the fin
ish. I'll go to sea. I'll go to New York
or take some other equally short route
to the demnition bow-wows. You hear
me a-talking?"
But, joe" she said-and she adj
lance than his own knee-"I just want
to have my hair touched up; see?"
You're pretty fancy wheedler, but II
don't go, see?" was his retort.
But" she persisted. cant just have
it touched up at the sides and around
the front and top-just little, teeny
weeny bit-can't l, pul-lease, Mister
Man?'
Nope. you can't" he replied. with de-
cision. cts all of. l have spoke. And.
say, would you mind letting me read my
evening paper in peace for about four
consecutive seconds without interrupt
ing me with such foolishness? ?"
That the matter wasn't settled. CT
course, anybody reading this will know
in advance without looking down the
page.
She got a very swagger blue tailor
made dress about ten days ago, and the
idea of bronze hair in combination wi.hsl
the blue dress took possession of her.
"Joe," she said to him on the evening
the blue dress was delivered to her
with reference to my about-to-be-
bronzed hair"
Il have the konor to inform you that
there isn't going to be any bronzing."
interrupted Joe" carrying out her
business-letter form Of conversation.
Whereat she ceased.
"I'll just go down and have it done
anyway" said she to herself the next
morning. He'll be so delighted with the
way it looks that he'll just fall upon my
neck and weep with very joy"
When the job was done, and she saw
herself in the glass. she didn't admire
herself so much as she had anticipated
she would. Nor was she quite so conf
dent that when her husband saw her
transformed head he would fall upon her
neck. etc, etc.
"Uh- huh" he said when he came in
that evening. You've done 1t, see."
Like it. Joeyboy?"
Her tone was airy, but 1t was a blum.
He didn't say word A gloomy ST.
lence brooded over the fat for the re-
mainder Of the evening.
When he went to his office the next
morning steely light glittered in his
eye
He tugged at his straw, red. brown and
auburn mixed mustache savagely
Then he repaired to a hotel barber
shop and had his straw. red. brown and
auburn mixed mustache dyed a deep,
dull, unfathomable, stygian black.
When he emerged from the hotel bar
Der shop the hirsute fringe on his upper
lip was the blacklist thing ever seen on
land or sea.
1t was so black that it made him look
like a photograph taken after his de-
cease.
He endured the guying of his friends
and associates for the remainder of the
day, and then he went home and burst
into thesfat with a grisly attempt at a
CHEEKY grin and bluff manner
His wife met him in the fat hall
We'll, how do you like it?" he in
quired of her. Great. isn't it, heye"
Thought I'd have it fixed up as a sort of
contrast to you, yknow Now we're