New-York tribune., 1905-04-17
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

"a number Of years ago. when lived IN woburn.
Mass" said well known Bostonian the other day,
in THE Boston Herald" "a Dr. Kelley resided
there and was the leading physician OF the town.
Later there young physician who was far
less successful than his neighbOr; N fact, he lost
so many cases that many remarks were made
cerning him
"ons morning while out making calls the two
doctors met. Dr. Kelley having one OF his patients
riding with him. Dr. Brown. the other physician.
saluted him with: 'Ah. good morning doctor; sec
YOU take your patients to ride
" Yes said the other see Grigss takes yours
"Griggs the undertaken"
A Boston spnster owns dog.
One OF those high toned "toWsers
-PhiadelphIa Posi-
Mr.. Balfour's aHectation Of ignorance Of what
the House Of Commons is about reminds a CORE
spondent of The London Chronicle OF the manner
leagues. Colonel Barre. who held brief for the
British navv. opened debate on his favOrite sub
ject night. II dare say said Lord North to a
friend. hell give naval history from the
beginning not forgetting Sir Francis Drake and
the Armada. All this IS nothing to me, so let me
sleep on. and wake when come near to our
times His friend. acting his Instructions
awoke him at what he took to be the right moment
Where are we?'' exclaimed the Prime Minister
cat the battle Of La Hogue, my lord" MY dear
n.
a century too sOOn!' On another occasion q MEM
her pointed scoFnfully TO the inert figure OF the
Minister. and exclaimed. Even now. amid these
perils. the noble lord is asleep. Il wish were."
groaned Lord North.
Gaston's Point OF view.-''Ze American oh mon
dteU. he iss yer funny man. He know nothing but
ze dollar. He have no love Of beauty art. He
do not cOmprenZ."
What's on your mind Gastong'
To-day see a beautiful lady. elevair. distingue
ma 9 ~ i Sne Is with a man an American
lady's name?' The gentleman he say: That's my
Tribune '''~''''--'' ''-''
The Kansas papers, discussing rural love- relates
a hOmeIy idyl. such TheOcritus never sang about
a love affair Oklahoma Dave Payne once had.
Payne lived farm when n boy. and his raiment
consisted of a lnsey sack with holes for his head
and arms. He deeply in love with a ueighbor
farm girl. One evening he went over and sparked
the girl while she was milking the COW. She sat
on one side of the and he sQuatted the other
so he could look her In the eye while she miIletl
Dave felt his love for the sirI growing rapidly II
affected the boy In a peculiar way Something
warm would chase itself up and down his spinal
column. IL was a new sensation. and in hla tnex-
pertenee he was sure tt was love. Just when the
sensation was the greatest the girl remarked.
'Davis. the calf is chewing the back out Of your
sack
IN CHICAGO.
When the cars do not run as we think that tb.,
should, ''' '+isS
Well arise IN our might
And Wen tell Of the slight
To the Mayor
When the quarter we've gotten IN charVa tsr,,
good,
In petition wen Join
For reliable coin
To the Mayor.
IL Is going TO take strong man and a staver
To be Mayor
II the careless conductor steps hard on vour feat
You send In the bill
For chiFOpOdist skill
To the Mayor,
lf the motOrman jOunces YOU into a seaf
The plan Is the same
Your redress YOU must claim
From the Mayor
OF all kinds of woe YOU must he an aU.ver
IL you're Mayer.
IF they carry you past where Won want IN uet or
Back board YOU can SEE
And express your regret
To the Mayor.
And the magnates at whom we delighted To scOff
Each Will say II am glad
Though az first was sad
I'm not Mayor"
For 4 man must be wiser than any soOfhsaver
40 % MSors -lWashtngton 6tAT.