Alaska sentinel., 1905-06-01
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1 lie coal man should he brought to See the error of his weighs .-Phlladel- phla Record.
 Does MT. Reuben Haybrick keep boarders?" He takes 'em. but he don't keep 'em."-Chirago Chronicle.
 EIa-He comes of good family, doesp't he? Stella-Yes. he's the only thing know against it.-Town Topics,
 Johnny-Pa, Is it wrong to steal from a trust? Johnny's Pa-Don't let the question bother you. my son. It's impossible.-Cleveland Ledger.
 Gourmand after table d'hote)-- Anything else, waiter? Waiter-Oae more peach, sir, and youll 'aee eat the menu.-Loudon Rystander.
 "Dey aint no sich thing ez gittin' married in heaven" Course dey alat. Don't de Bible tell you it's a plaee CT peace en rest?'-Atlanta Constitution.
 Mrs. Hatterson-I didn't see you at the lecture on The Simple Life" Mrs. Gutterson-Why. no; had no idea It was going to be such a swell affair." Brooklyn Life.
 Wife-It Is so kind of you to put on my boots for me. KneelIng Husband (tuggng away)-It's a-a-pleasure, my dear Still, I'm glad you're not cendpede. Pick Me Up.
 Miss Riter-Could you use anything ' In, .t,.1 week? Country Editor-Yes, we could handle couple of dozen of fresh eggs nicely.-New York Times.
 What conclusion does that cam paign orator reach in his argumentY He never arrives at conclusion. He merely stops now and then to take breath. h."-Washington Star.
 Willie-Teacher told Us today that there's certain kind O tree that grows out O rocks. cant remember what 1t was. His Pa-It's family tree, guess,-Phlladelphia Ledger.
 The Irish lady declared to the mag. lstrate that the defendant had stolen her hen. How do you know it Is your hen?" asked the Judge Know 1t" cried the lrats lady. T have known that hen ever since 1t was an egg
 You probably don't remember me-" began the self-made man proudly, but twenty years ago, when l was poor, humble boy, you gave me message to Carry-" Yes, yes.' cried the busy man. "Where's the answer?"
 You are the first one to whom I have shown this poem,' the young poet went on; T was wooing the muse last night" Poor fellow" repllal the editor, handing back the manu- script Its too bad she rejected you" Chicago Journal.
 Hicks-How do you happen to be going fishing on Friday? I thought you believed Friday was an unlucky day. Wlcks-Well 1 always have. But 1t occurred to me this mornn; that perhaps 1t would be unlucky for the nsh.-SOlnerville Journal.
 Pm afraid you're not wise' said the fair girl. "Why?" demanded the persistent suitor. Because a word to the wise Is sufficient and I have said 'Nor to you" "Yes, but Pm wise enough to know that a womans No may eventually mean yes. "-Phila- delphla Press.
 At the end of thirty years Hiram had accumulated a fortune. His wife and daughter were delighted. For said they, with becoming modesy, we now not only have money enough to cut a splurge, but poor dear papa is too broken down to appear among the best people. Life.
 Its so long since you last called upon me was beginning to think you were forgetting me-" said Miss Pechis, as she came down to the young man la the parlor. "I'm for getting you," replied the ardent youth, "and It's fora getting you that I've called tonight. Can I have oup-Kennebec Journal
 The passenger who had been holding himself up by q strap sat down in seat that had just been vacated. There Is plenty of room, ma'am,' he said to the pudgy, little matron sitting next. Don't move" We don't have to- she said, with a cheerful smile; we own the house We live In."-Chi- cago Tribune.
 T tell ye what" asserted Old Man Splggets, that there painter feller Is fine artist" What impressed you about his worki" Well, ther' was pictur he called The Ra!nstorm,' an swan. 1t was that nat'ral that I hadn't looked at 1t three minutes be- fore my corn5 begin hurtin' me- Cleveland Leader.
 Prosperity" said pr. Slighcem, the eminent surgeon. There is altogether too much prosperity. It is killing bust. ness" Tn what wayT' asked the other. "Why, sir, almost anybody can afford to have aDDendicitiS nOwa-