The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1905-10-20
THE CITIZEN FREDERICK FRIDAY OCTOBER 30 1905

England 100000 lives and $100,000,0 900
in cash. 1t was gently intimated that
he was known to be absentminded, and
it was limited that he might have taken
the document along to read at lunch
and left it lying beside his plate. A
messenger was rushed off, but he re-
turned with the statement that the
waiter had not seen such & paper. He
added that the waiter was low brow
ed, suspicious looking chap and that he
was probably 4 liar.
For two long days Il number Of first
and second and third lords held their
breath. The official safe was searched
no less than fifty times. The top Of a
bare table was scanned until the eyes
of the scanners ached. The waste pa
per basket the floor, the coal rack, the
corners and all other places were
searched, but in vain. Two detectives
were detailed to watch every move
ment of the waiter. The cabman who
had driven the first lord to lunch and
back was put under surveillance. The
clerical staff was made to feel that 1t
might find itself in Newgate Within
the next twenty-four hours, and had
New Zealand captured Australia the
excitement in that particular depart
men, could not have been more intense
When the first lord and the second
lord and the third lord went into Sc
cret council for the tenth time, turning
even the broom and the door mat out
into the hall and stopping up the key
hole Of the door, the two latter lords
had some figures to submit. A reward
must be offered for the return of the
document, and 1t must be large enough
to appeal to the cupidity of the robber.
They figured that $4,000 would do it
and that the first lord would have to
pay 1t out of his own pocket If he
hadn't been so fat and stupid he would
have tainted away. As it was, he was
properly crushed for the next PROPOSE
ton. The idea was to have him disap
pear for couple of months. When the
thief found that no reward was to be
offered he might return the document
There was belief that he was a per
sonal enemy of the first lord and had
meant 10 spite him alone. If the first
lord would get out Of the country for
a few weeks or months the second and
with every hope to save England and
the honor Of the honorable.
The first lord jumped at the oppor
tunity held out He didn't want to see
England plunged into calamity and
neither did lie want TO pay reward of
f50,000. He left the Office Immediately
and fastened home to pack up and
start for SwltZeri and, and long breath
Of relief eX.ended from the second lord
down TO the smallest messenger boy.
Some one was paid a large fee for
work done, and the incident was clos
ed-that is, the first lord wrote back
weekly to ask if the document had been
found. and the second lord answered
as regularly that 1t had not, but he
was still hot on the trail After six or
eight weeks had passed the first lord
was one day handed the missing docu-
ment by disguised man who fled on
the instant, but the lord retired to his
bedroom and opened the envelope.
There was document. 1t was a writ
ten recipe for making French cottage
cheese. The first lord shut one eye
and sat and thought for an hour. Their
the light dnvned, and he laid the docu-
ment aside and whispered:
"A man may be first lord and &
first ass at the same time, and I'm
living example of the fact!'