davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08
VILLAGE HAD MANY HEROES

"Nuthin' heroic about Jims look. but
lemme tell you sunnthin'. He went
away to Ohio to visit friends, and they
put him in a foldin' bed. The foot riz
up and caught him and stood him on
his head. He was a prisoner for three
days. but he never hollered. Just
waited till the old bed got tired out
and sunk down agin and then he
crawled out. Let's go over to the saw
mill and see George Coots."
went over to the mill and got a
third Introduction. and on the way
back to the postofiice my friend said:
George is cross-eyed and red-head-
ed. but there are no flies on him. a
tin peddler came along last summer
and jumped seven feet. George took
off his coat and spit on his hands and
jumped six inches better and saved
the town from goin' all to smash. Had
to bust a lung and break a rib to do
1t. but that's the kind of stun he's
made of. don't say that Togo isn't
hero, but when you are talkin' about
'em jest remember that Smithville has
showed three of them to the front
within a year and has got more
comin'."-Rochester Democrat and
Chronicle.
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08
MySTIFIED BY MARK TWAIN

Coming over" said the noted Eng
lishman, Il discovered a most remark
able thing in one of our guidebooks.
The keeper of the stall recommended
it highly. 1t was called Idle Excur-
sions of an Idle Fellow or something
of that sort. you know. 1t reminded
me of our own jerome, you know. 1t
was the effort of one of your Ameri-
cans, though | think his name was
Clarence or Samuel Clemens. He had
a pen name, too, of Haines or Plains.
with the queer word OF Mark before
it. did not notice particularly. But
what has amused me was his manner
of writing. He says in this odd book
of his some queer things-some
exceedingly queer things. AT right,
cannot understand them. II you Will
be so good will read to you this most
peculiar book-thank you" The writer
and bellboy came back with dozen
books. After little trouble the Eng
lish visitor found Mark Twain's remin-
iscences of an excursion and read
aloud this most remarkable" para
graph. 1t went something like this;
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08

AS I was putting in a couple OF
hours loafing around the village store
and postoffice | got into conversation
with villager about the war in the
east, and in speaking of the naval bat
tie in the sea of Japan | characterized
Togo as the greatest hero of the age.
well. / dunno about that" replied
the man. We've got few heroes
right in this town who hain't SO slow.
Come down and lemme introduce you
to the cooper"
We went down to the cooper shop
and | was introduced, and when we
were outside again my friend said:
Don't look much like a hero. does
he" But lemme tell you what he did.
He went up to the city about year
ago and staid over night at hotel.
Blew out the six gas jets in his room
instead of turning them off. and the
gas was going all night. Got up as
clipper as a squirrel in the morning
and turned two handsprings. The hotel
said they had lost $4,000 worth of gas.
but the stuff never even made Bill
sneeze. Come down and be introduced
to the blacksmith.
followed him and after a second in
PRODUCTION he clapped me on the shoul-
der and said:
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08
TRAVE IN ANCIENT DAYS ~


went on diplomatic mission to Ven-
ice and wished to make good impress
sion on the senate, we are told that
she had fifty mules in her train, ladeh
with her costly dresses. OF another
princess Blanca Sforza, on her way
to marry the Emperor Maximilian, we
have a pitiful account of her journey,
from the pen of her secretary. She
started from Milan at the end of No
vember, to be nearly shipwrecked In
a sudden storm on the Lake of Como;i
then, with endles hardships Of tenn
pestuous, wintry weather. she rode
across that fearful cruel mountain.
the Stelvio pass, one hapless lady-in-
waiting having to be left behind at
Gravedona. Not until Christmas ere
did Blanca at last reach Innsbruck.
Again. we have the famous jour
ney of Lucretia Borgia across Italy.
from Rome to Ferrara, with an I'm,
mense retinue of nearly 1000 persons!
which took twenty-five days in the
depth of winter. II we had CHANGED
to meet them on the way-with their
splendid dresses and gaudily capari-
soned horses. with dwarfs and testers
to beguile the way, and a company of
trumpeters, drums and hautboys to
make martial music-we might have
noisily parading through the land"
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08
POLICEMEN OF MEXICO ALERT

The police of the City of Mexico
are selected with great care. A man
must be in good physical condition to
be a member of the force, although it
is not necessary for him to pass a
rigid physical examination, and his
reputation for sobriety, honesty and
reliability must be beyond question.
They are men who have great physi-
cal endurance. yet the police of the
city are not hard-worked. 1T any
time the men are liable to Gull for
special duty, but their regular work
is for eight hours. The shifts are
made three times a day for the pur-
pose of having always on duty men
whc are not fatigued with long hours
OF wltchfulness.
Practically every block in the city
has its policeman. and while they are
not patrolmen in the strict sense of
the word, since they do not patrol
everything, they are always near at
hand when any disturbance is made
and crimes are not often committed
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08
Walk With Dickens
Blunderstone, the Home of David
CopPerfield Typical English Village
~
~
Especial Correspondence.)

"I was born in Blunderston, in SUI
folk, or thereby as they say in
Scotland" says David Copperfeld in
the first chapter of his autobiograpt >.
Being in the neighborhood of the
thinly disguised village of Blunder-
stone recently, made a pilgrimage
to the delightful and picturesque spot
Dickens selected for the early scenes
of the best of all his books. One
comes upon the correct name of the
place for the first time on slgnpost
at the crossroads between LOwestoft
and Yarmouth, a similar signpost to
that which attracted Dickens himself
when, in 1S4S, he stayed for a time
at Yarmouth, as mentioned in his .et-
ters.
Previous to the Yarmouth visit, as
Dickens himself has recorded, he had
been on a short visit to Sir Mort on
Feto, at Somerleyton hall, near by,
and his host took special pains to
show him round the country which is
very beautiful Sir Morton had large
interests in Lowestoft, and he particu-
larly brought this place to Dickens
notice, in the hope that the district
might possibly be benefited by It's
introduction into fiction.
Typical English Village.
The lapse of half a century and
more leaves the village practically as
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08
.sH1rmA7Es NEVER IN ACCORD )

the engine room telegraph. WHATS
that for?" he demanded. why. that
goes down to the engine room." was
the reply. You see all the orders on
It, Full speed Hail. Slow. Stop.
You Just have to move the handle"
The old man was charmed. IF Aa put
the handle to Full will she gang full
speed?" why. certainly" AN If Aa
put the handle to Stop will she stop
ganging?" Certainly" The old man
was still more charmed. Finally. after
thinking some time. he heaved great
sigh of pleasure. why, that's fine.
man! That's clever! That does away
with all them saucy deevils O. engin-
eers!"
Another old Scotchman was coming
alongside at South Shields in his new
command. With great stampings on
the knob that rang the engine-room
bell. he had at last got abreast OF
where he wanted to be, but rather far
out. He was puzzled as to the means
for getting close in. He jumped on
the bell knob and rang great incoher-
ent peals in the engine room. But 1t
had no effect. Matters seemed to get
slightly worse. Finally, in undignified
despair, he turned and addressed his
engineer by word of mouth: IA
diven't want to gang aheid! Aa
diven't want to gang astern! But
just gle 'er .wallop on the port
side"
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08

This is a fine place for vacation.
The Bermudans are hoping soon to
have telegraphic communication with
the world. But even after they Lhall
acquire this curse 1t will still be a
good country to go for a vacation.
For there are charming little islets
scattered about the inclosed sea.
where one could live secure from In
trusion. The telegraph boy would
have to come in boat and one could
easily kill him while he was making
his landing" 81 wish to find some ex-
PLANTATION of this" continued the Eng
lishman. 81 know that some years
ago your principal diversions were
killing Indians and Buffaloes. But |
had understood that all this was gone.
and why should a man sit beneath his
own hatch and pot a fellow-a mere
boy from the telegraph post-while he
was trying to moor his dinghey? None
of you seems able to answer. Yet you
Americans put these guide books in
the market. You are people cannot
understand. New Orleans Times
Democrat.
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08

In the eyes of all engineers of
steamships the deck officers of their
ships are profoundly ignorant. Here
are some of the stories they tell. A
young man went into the engine room
with a message from the captain to
the engineer. The latter saw the
other was interested and began to
explain things to him. Being civil
and obliging man he made no attempt
to tell fairy tales to the stranger. and,
moreover, he kept as clear as possible
of all puZZling technicalities. He
pointed out the cylinders, the various
rods, the eccentrics, the shaft, and so
on, explained roughly the uses of the
various pumps and auxiliary machin-
ed and interested, and said so. Then,
when going up on deck again. a
thought seemed to strike him. Hating
on the ladder, he called the engineer
and explained his difficulty. Thanks,
awflilly, for showing me around, Mac;
you've made the whole thing as plain
as a pikestaff But one thing | don't
quite grasp; what are the boilers
for?' The engineer promptly replied:
why. to keep the firemen from
weaiying, you idiot!'
A burly, thick-headed skipper had
been given the command of a little
steam collier. Going up with great
pride on the bridge of his new ship.
the first thing that caught his eye was
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08

Travellers in old-time Italy had a
sorry time of it. Says a critic: 1.-The
frescoes of Bonozzo Gozzoli in the
Riccardi palace. and also those in the
Campo Santo of Pisa, bring vividly
before us another phase of country
life, that of travel in the days of the
renaissance. AS we watch the long
cavalcade which winds round the steep
mountain path, we are carried back
to the time when wheeled carriages
vera almost unknown, for, indeed,
there were but few roads on which
they would have been possible. The
only highway between one city and an
other was often little more than a
rough bride path a quagmire of mud
in winter. and, passing through a
tangled thicket here and there, a hid
ing place for outlaws and wild beasts.
There was no choice but to ride on
when a great lady might be carried on
litter well padded with feather mat
tresHes covered with crimson silk. All
goods of every kind were conveyed
on the backs of. horses or baggage
mules.
we have many accounts of travel
in those days. for journey was a
serious matter not to be lightly under
taken or. easily forgotten. Thus.
whcn the Duchess Beatrice of Milan
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08
Live the Simple Life.

Mrs. J. G. Phelps Stokes, bride of
the millionaire reformer, has solved
the servant problem by being her own
cook and housekeeper. Though they
might keep large establishment and
many servants, the rich settlement
worker and his wife live simply in
modest six-room apartment on the
East Side of New York city. Mrs.
Stokes kitchen is in white enamel.
Not a speck of dirt can be found in
the whole fiat, and she has made 1t as
homelike and artistic as a little nest
for two can be.
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08
Conducts Novel Canvass.

DIR. Edward F. Bush, who is running
Independent for mayor of Mount Ver-
non, N. Y, has log cabin mounted
Non a farm wagon and from this ad-
1dresses the voters nightly. The novel
outfit is drawn by two white mules
and its coming is heralded by the
ringing of a bell. DR.. Brush urges
his hearers to send republicans ana
democrats in the council in about
equal numbers, as he does not ap-
prove of one party having complete
.elutroi.
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08

before one of the bluecoated men is
at the side of the offender.
Instead of walking beat the police
of the City of Mexico are stationed
along the street, and in the daytime
their place is the center of the inter
section of the streets. At night their
place is taken by their lanterns, and
one looking up any street at night
may form an accurate idea Of the
number of men who are on watch for
disturbances by the long line of lights
extending up the middle Of each
street.
During the day and during the
night seventy officers of the mounted
police make regular rounds among
these men to see that every man is
on duty and doing his duty. These Of
ficers are the men who do much. prob
ably mcst. to preserve the high STANG
ard of discipline among the men and
It is to them the credit is due fer the
excellence of the individual police
man.
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08

The peasants are rapidly being con-
verted to belief in the creed that the
land belongs to those who till it.
Their education has gone so far that
peasant congresses are held in which
the large land owners. the state offic-
ials. and the priests are denounced as
enemies. Even If peace shall be re-
stored in the cities the increasing pop
ulation will remain to be dealt with.
The reforms in government conced-
ed by the czar ought to pacify. and
probably will pacify. the educated
classes. They will gain all that they
can reasonably ask for. They should
place themselves on the side of the
government as against the social
democrats and revolutionary social
lists. The latter will not abandon
their campaign for land and liberty"
1t may be that the city workmen, who
are imbued with socialist ideas. will
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08


bright sunny day one can see the
same picture as David saw, minus,
perhaps, the sheep. Il look at the
sunlight coming in at the open door
through the porch, and there | see a
stray sheep-I don't mean a sinner.
but mutton-half making up his mind
to come into the church.
Although cit is only story" as we
tell the children who have been listen
ing to a fairy tale. it all seems pre-
cisety true, as we stand there in the
mid.t of 1t all And If we cannot find
''the grave beneath the tree
which Pessotty's own faithful care
had ever since kept neat
which lay a little way off the church
yard path in a quiet corner" we seem
to feel it is there all the same. We
leave the church and turn toward the
village. on the way we pass the
pound and the spot under the trees
where the pond was, and visit the old
village inn, "our village ale house"
in the parlor of which David was con-
fident that Commodore Trunnion
held that club with Mr.. Pickle"
From here started Mr.. Barkis, the car
rier. who had his prototype in Mr..
Barker. the real carrier of Blunderstone
at the time; and even to-day there is
a good substitute for Peggotty's hus-
band who takes the identical road 20
Yarmouth that Barkis did.
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08
A pouble.Edaed Opinion.

Tie Rev. A. A. Miner, a Universal
ist n mister of Boston who was an ex-
trema believer in prohibition. once
had lively colloquy with the late
Gen. Patrick <. Collins of Boston
over prohibitory legislation. The sub
iect was up before a legislative COM
mittee. The minister was cery much
in earnest, while Gen. Collins was in
clined to be jocose. Finally. pointing
to the temperance advocate. Gen. Col
.ins said: Il honor DR.. Miner. and,
my friends, what a, good man he
would be If he would only let whisky
alone. New York Tribune.
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08
PASSING AUTOCRAcY LOOKED
NATION

refuse to be pacifed. 1t is possible
that their leaders will reason that
further agitation will secure more
concessions.
There is greater hope for Russia
than there was last week, but one
cannot say positively that the worst
is over. The foreign bankers who
have been at st. Petersburg to discuss
the placing of new loan have post
pcned negotiations. They are to
leave st. Petersburg tomorrow. Man
ifastly they have not sufficient con-
fieence in the stability of the govern
msnt to lend it large sum at this
time. Notice was served on them
some time ago by the revolutionists
that future loans made while the
autocracy was in power would be re-
pudiated after 1t was overthrown. The
bankers seem to think 1t may be over
thrown.-Chicago Tribune.
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08

Born in Tifiis, Caucasia, 1919.
Descendant of family of Dutch emil
grants to Russia.
Graduated from mathematical sciences
Successfully traction director. exploita-
ton director and director-in- chief South
western railways. lsi1-1ssS.
Director railway department ministry
President tariff commission 1889.
Minister of ways and communications,
1892.
Minister of finance. 1s92-ls96. :,
Financed and built Trans Siberian rail-
Reorganized Russian finances. establish
ing gold standard.
Secretary of state to the czar. 1896.
Privy councillor. 1893. 80.
President of council of ministers. lsO3.
Opposed war with Japan, l903-lsOi.
Head of Russian delegation to negotiate
peace with Japan. 1905.
counsel has been needed. The people
are to be given some ''inalienable
rights"-the right of assembly. free
dom of the press, and the writ of
habeas corpus. The national assemb-
ly is to be converted into real legis-
lature with much greater powers than
those given the douma. The suffrage
is to be much extended. This should
Npacify Russia, but it may come too
late.
1t is manifest that the policy Of
to. The reports as to the unreliable
ity of the army are more detailed and
come from more points. One hears
of soldiers who refuse to fire on the
people, who desert, who mutiny. 1t
is evident that the leaven of discon-
tent is working among the troops, and
that the right arm of the autocracy
is weakened. The people are losing
their fear of the soldiers as well as
of the priests. Every sign of timid-
ity on the part OF the autocracy en-
boldens them.
No concessions the czar will con-
sent to make will have much infiu-
ence on the social democrats and the
revolutionary socialists who have en-
gineered the extensive strikes and
demonstrations which are reducing
the government to impotency. Their
simple creed is land and liberty"
They demand for the peasants the
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08
New Fad of FashionabIes.

Several leading society women in
eastern cities have adopted the Eu-
ropean idea of giving servants dan
ces. The difference is that the Ameri
can social lights get up such entertain
ments for their servants as make
similar affairs abroad look common
place. Mrs. Seward Webb gives an
annual servants ball and always
writes the invitations herself. Mrs.
Clarence Mackay's entertainments of
this kind are also of elaborate char
acter.
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08
Deed for Imaainary Land.

The litigiousness of man is Illus
trated in an Illinois law suit. A deed
put a cloud upon the title to a certain
piece of land, and it was one of the
smallest clouds ever on a title. The
deed conveyed title to "the east vigin-
tillionith of a vigintillionith of the
east 1-64th inch of lot l." etc. The
court remarked. with some show of
reason, that "a tract of land described
as the above may perhaps be pictured
in the Imagination. but such { e..
Ga: not be bounded"
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08
Monument We'll Deserved.

In New Haven a memorial is to be
erected in memory of Cornelius S.
Bushnell, through whose efforts the
government was persuaded to accept
plans of the Monitor presented by
Ericsson. Connecticut has appro-
priated $4,000 and more than that
sum has been raised by popular sub
scription. The monument will be
eighteen feet high and be surmounted
by a carved eagle with outspread
wings and bearing suitable inscrip-
tion on its shaft. The sculptor is
Herbert Adams
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08
Biped and Quadruped Hogs.

The Arabians may beat us on
horses and the Scotch on sheep dogs,
but when it comes to swine, America
takes the cake. Our breeds are nu-
merous, but all are fat and gifted with
enormous squealing power. Witness
the squeals of the railroad hog when
it is even suggested that he is getting
rather more. than his share of swill.
But there are others. There is the
private car hog. the steel hog, the
street railroad hog, the insurance hog
all fat and ready for the butcher
Portland Oregonian.
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08
THE PRESENT:
NICHOLAS u.
eighteenth Of the
Line.)
NICHOLAS ".
(1e05.)

Russia Tor 39 through
intrigue conspiracy,
In those four centuries the fought with nearly
CGmean provinces prov oerrun 0na dmemn Poland and and sent h,
the of Asia the tomb Siberia
land noss fGE % the with "a @
with :
Turkey
@ ss' ss
regnng family that ever held throne in modern Europe
And these Romanon been washed with
h the SSs aop So So osn Rass @ ho It's R 5 slpsan as
to modern nation of the modern nation the
s1 ~e Ss @ s ssa ss music f % @
the Classics HI every ''''A library anu 'A''
11s the first Michael M who % the
chi s = :''
hanging burning
@ HE left two sn sn anS anS pee % @ sohe & Ih e9 n G
9s @ ] reign @ hs0y W d mad r % p snowI up % % % % and II @ m b % ] en-
in a convent ntc- Of modern nu.. e. date. o ,. n Of Pete.
that
bodhrsty monarch
blood built
poisoning his
a aus 5 wa ane was Th s ruler ana Sa ss
prisoners
intrigue
murdered by his wfes
a
a9r nd and I'M so fSf he Ta
Alexander the who burned Moscow to prevent
marched his
compelled Napoleon abdcae and him exile
to the throne in 1925 He waike ruler and
o perished in foreign
began enlightened
civil check
of assassinated
iustas he o
reactonary He
ceeded in the car. Nicholas H.
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08
Author.Philanthropist.

Senator Tullo Massarini died recent
" in Milan at the age of rs. He es
extremely wealthy and noted for his
charitable bequests. He had a repu-
tatior az a painter and writer on lit
erary subjects. and through his work
the Ger. an poet Heine exercised con-
siderable influence in Italian bellies
le:tres.
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08

The Church.
Dickens found it, and as one ap-
p.oaches 1t one is struck by its ideal
situation. hemmed in, as II were, by
the chief high roads of the surround
ing country, everything fresh and
glowing in the summer picturesque
ness, and the whole place nesting in
peaceful seclusion. One can well i'm
agine Dickens falling in love with it
as he did, by rambling through the
green lanes to such a charming vii
lake SO perfectly English in all its
characteristics.
Little David, as everybody who has
born in the Rookery. and there can be
little doubt that the Rectory of to-day
was the house which Mr. Copperfield
bought" and named the Rookery,
because "he liked to think there were
rocks about it," There are still elms
in the garden. but the strong wind
which made them bend ito one an
other, like giants who were whisper
ing secrets" and causing the "weath-
erbeaten ragged old rocks nests bur-
dening their higher branches" to
swing like wrecks upon a stormy
sea-" had given place when | visited
it, to a light summer breeze which
quietly famed their leaves. There is
another house-Blundcrston hall
which has made claim to being the
rookery on account of the fact that
Dickens description OF the interior
of David's birthplace comedies more
fully with it than 1t does with the
Rectory And further, when Dick
ems was visiting the spot and called
at the hall for the purpose of becom-
ing acquainted with its interior, he
made himself known to the old house
keeper who was in charge of the
place at that time, and had her per-
mission to enter
The Lamar register., 1905-11-08

crown lands and those held by the
grand dukes and the large landed
proprietors. They demand universal
suffrange without distinction of race
or sex and the transfer of the powers
of government to a national assembly.