The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1905-01-07
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Hum Tor GUS
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to tell mammal Freddy-W couldn't
you rather have some jam?--Harpers
Bazaar
Ehe-How Ia It that widows gener-
ally manage to marry asain7 He-Be-
cause dead men tell no tales ALLY
Sloper.
Sparticus- Does that fountain-pen Of
yours leak that way all the time9
smarticus--No, only when have ink
In it.-Baltimore American.
II see you advertise piano covers"
said the man with sQuiint.. Eyes, we
have all kinds" said the clerk. "Let
me look at some that are hermeticaliy
sealed, then."-Yonkers Statesman
1--WE met several other peopls from
your CITY," said the Bostonian, land
every one Of them said: Where is it
at'?" where is what at2" demanded
the New Yorker.-Kansas City INDIE
pendent.
Slidey Slats-Please, mum, but we're
couple Nv shipwrecked sailors--
Lady-Whatl You never was near the
water. Slidey Slats-Pufickly right,
mum, puf1ckly fight. We wuz on q
air-ship.-Judge.
"Do you mean to say you don't have
any trouble in keeping your wife
dressed in the height Of fashion p
''That's what said. My trouble comes
when I don't keep her dressed that
way."-Philadelph Press.
II suppose you have made 1t rule
in politics never to forget a friend"
There's no danger Of that" answered
Senator Sorghum; III man has done
anything friendly for you in politics he
never let's you forget it."-Ex.
Crabshaw-He has the inventive fac.
ulty very highly developed. Crawford
What has he invented? Crabshaw-
Nothing, 80 far as l know. But when
his wife goes out he can think Of things
to keep the baby amused by the hour"
Judge.
she-Jack played an awfully heart
less trick on Flossie He-How's that?
She-Why, they were engaged, you
know, and last night, at the bal
masqus, Jack made up 30 that Flossie
didn't know him. He proposed and
was accepted again!-Puck.
"Now that you are wealthy, Mr..
O." said the man who deals in pedi-
grees and the like, "you really should
begin to adopt coat Of arms" "I'll
do just as I please" retorted Mr.. G.,
hotly. eff like to 80 about in my
shirt sleeves, that amt none o your
businessV'
when you first entered politics."
said the young man, who was looking
for knowledge, Ibid you set out with
the determination to win at any costY'
mo" answered Senator Sorghum, ~
set out with the determination to win
at as little expense as possible" -
Washington Star.
"I won't go abroad" "Sea travel
disagrees with your mo" "Busi-
ness keeps you here continually, ehH"
NO" "Sight-seeing wearies you"
"No." ''Then why, pray, don't you go
abroadT" "sh-h-h! I've only got four
dollars and twenty-five cents. "-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
Overheard During the Theatricals:
She-How well your wife plays Lady
Geraldine, Mr.. Jones! think the way
she puts on that awful affected tone
is just splendid. How does she man
age it? Mr.. Jones with embarrass-
ment)-Er-she doesn't. That's her
natural voice.-London Tit-Bits.
Darling" exclaimed the happy hus-
band after the minister had pro-
nounced the fatal words, II am not
worthy Of you" "Of course, you are
not" she replied; but after a girl has
celebrated her twenty-fifth birthday
for five consecutive years she can't af-
ford to be too particular. "-Cincinnad
Enquirer.
"Mr. Scrapem," said the hostess to
an amateur violinist at an evening
gathering, "you play the violin, do you
not?" Eyes, after q fashion, you
know" was the modest reply. How
nicer murmured half the company;
did you bring your violin with your
"No; did not" "How nicer MUIR
INJURED the other half of the company
in fervent unison.-Galveston News.
Hodge (who has just had a tooth
drawn)-Well, guv'nor, how much do
you az for the job2 You did do 1t
quick. Dentist-My charge is two-and-
six. Hodge-Two-and-six7 Why, a
doctor down at our place drawed a
tooth for me once and it took him two
hours; he hauled me round and round
the ROOM never seed such hard
worK-and he only charged me shill-
in'.-Scraps.
Are you a fatalist Do you be-
lieve what is to be will be?" "Well,
yes, to certain extent. I believe, for
instance, when draw my salary that
the coal trust and the meat trust and
the grocer and the milkman, and the
rest Of the people who make it their