davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24
MONKEYS In society.

So much attention is being lavished on
a monkey which is the new pet OF one
of BoSton's social lights that it looEs
as though many of these little animals
may enjoy n happy existence under So
ciety's beneticent roof before the win
ter is over. says the New York Press.
The woman in question does not keep
her pet indoors. but takes him out
driving with her. giving the seat to
him in her equipage which formerly be-
longed 10 her lapdog. On these occa-
sions he has worn an elaborate seal
skin coat and Il jewel studded collar.
OF late. however, some of her family
plate and odd trinkets have disap-
peared. and il is suspected that this
latest addition TO the woman's happy
family is the guilty party. However.
the mistress is loyal to him and pre-
fers to believe that her things were
stolen by a common thief.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24

who was doing the latest stunt in sani-
tary clothes wearing They did not
have long to wait, for on that evening
the foreigner approached the window
at the dispensary and whispered 'Plas-
ter" He was then invited into Il room
and was given TO understand that it
would please the court much If he
would remove his clothing. The for
eign gentleman realized that he was
UP against It" and refused in no I'M
certain manner. However. he was
given some help in doing the disrObing
act. His ready TO wear garments con
sisted of a shirt, a pair of overalls and
a pair of shoes.
When these were removed, what the
physicians and Il few other workmen
beheld was what resembled an Egyp-
tan mummy. From the ankles up ev-
cry portion of the foreigners body was
covered with porous plasters. They
were pulled off until the operator grew
tired of his task. Then the foreigner
was given an unlimited amount OF
good advice, was told 10 get on his
other articles of clothing and make a
nasty exit. 1t is believed that mum.
Der of other employees are also expo
nents of the new fad.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24
THE JEWISH MASSACRES:
BRUTALITY OF MODS

cutters of the streets have been turn
ed into small rivulets OF blood. We
fear any minute we will be extermi-
mated.
Please rescue us. Take us to Amer
lea or send us enough money II get
over the frontier. We don't ask YOU
to help us for Il livelihood, only to pro
tect our lives.
THE Russian newspapers don't men
ton one-half Of what takes place. We
pray, o God! o GOdl that you will he
able TO rescue us so we can Zee from
terrible Russia and the awful death
that faces us.
While | am writing this | can hear
the awful curses of the bowling mob
as it passes along the street killing
Jews. The mob is made UP mostly OF
soldiers"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24
say. Dogs Breed Consum,,,on.

Professor Landouzy of the Paris fac
ulty of medicine makes the remarkable
statement that dogs are largely re
sponsible for the spread of tuberculo-
sis. This disease has been not only
prevalent but on the increase among
dogs during the last five years The
proportion of tuberculous dogs dis
sected at the Abort Veterinary school
has risen from AZ to per cent. Most
OF the diseased animals belonged to
small cafe and restaurant keepers i'll
Paris and suburbs. The professor
quotes case ia his own experience of
a young music hall singer who died Of
consumption and her inseparable lap
dog, which died soon after its mistress
and was found to have tubercles in the
lungs, bronchial tubes and liver Ian
douzy deems it quite possible that the
,ady caught the disease from the dog.
New York World.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24

Among the victims of the massacres
| IF Jews i'll Russian cities during the
| past month are many who have friends
and relatives in Philadelphia. Some Of
these have received letters from sur
vivors describing the heart rending
scenes, says the Philadelphia Press.
Rev. Jacob Chalfin of 537 Lombard
street has Il letter from his wife in
kovno, III which she says:
There are 1000 dead here and 5000
injured The brutality of the Russian
mobs was friShtful. Kovno is no
longer a city. 1t is IL mass of ruins,
and we live in dread of another attack.
Ii may come at any minute. and we
nre all defenseless."
Herman Sachs of kiev WHITES 10
Samuel Loudon of 764 South Third
street:
"A Jewess, Sarah Goldman, was
dragged into the streets, and several
spikes, fully seven inches long, We're
driven into her brain with heavy steel
sledges. A man named Kaufman was
found in the street near my house with
his whole lower lip cut of. He was
suffering torture, and no one gave him
aid. The mans tongue had been pulled
out with pinchers."
Aaron ROthstein, another resident of
KovnO, writes TO his uncle, Abraham
Chabrov, of 342 South street:
Il saw the mob break into the home
of poor woman seVenty-two years
old. She was asleep in bed, but the
al s.fD
ed her to death. There are 5000 per
sons here absolutely homeless and
without a kopek to buy food or cloth
ing. The terrible winter is already up
Oh us. God knows what will become
of us unless aid arrives soou.'
John Baum merchant at 52I South
street. recently received letter Of this
sort from his brother Solomon. who
lives in Odessa, and pleads for money
enough to take lin and his family
from the country where they see moth
ing but doom for their race.
The letter was written on Nov. >. 4
part of it, which has been translated
by Jacob Ginsburg of the Jewish
Evening Post, reads:
Our people are being numerically
slaughtered in the streets without any
interference from the authorities.
1T is more than two weeks since we
took refuge here i'll the cellar We
are under the dreadful terror of being
discovered and killed. We are prac-
tically shut up without any food or
water. and / fear we will starve unless
something is done for US.
We cannot sleep. for the bowling
and curses OF the unruIy Inobs ring
constantly In our ears. They cali XIII
the Jews The streets are streNu
with mutilated bodies. Many OF them
are minus Aeads. Limbs and arms. The
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24
AUTOMOBILE FARMING.
Effectiveness OF Self Moving Nn-
chine shown In Scotland.

Effectiveness OF Self Moving Nn-
chine shown In Scotland.
\ new and special type OF automo.
bile has recently been put on the mar
ket in Scotland which is designed espc-
cially for farm work and which is not
only suitable for blowing, but may be
equipped with Il cultivator or reaper.
1t will prepare the ground and sow the
seed at one operation and can he OPP
Grated at better speed than horse.
Thus when blowing it can cover from
six to seven acres Il day and goes over
the field so as TO leave it ia final shape
for cultivation. When not In use In
the field the motor can he used to drive
all farming machinery, and when
blowing the cost of fuel, labor and de
probation has been computed at 81
per acre. or less than one-half the ex.
pense Of blowing by horse.
II is interesting to note that the cost
Of the machine is about $1,000, an
amount that docs not seem prohibitiye
for a large farm. where a thorough test
Of the new machine could readily be
made The automobile. unlike the farm
animal. does not have to be fed when
IL Is not working, and IL is here that
a substantial element OF economy can
probably be secured.-Harper's Week
IL
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24
Fruit and Nut Diet.

Experiments with n dietary of fruits
and nuts at the University of Califor-
mia have shown that both furnish the
body with energy, and the nuts yield
some building material also. The cost
of a diet exclusively Of fruits and nuts
varied from Is to 46 cents day for
each person, which will compare favor
ably with the cost Of an ordinary mix
ed diet One student gradually chang
ed from a mixed diet to fruits and
nuts without apparent loss of strength
or health. He was able for eight days
Of the experiment TO carry on his usual
college work, and for a part of the
time he also performed heavy physical
Ia Dor
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24
A New Third Rail.

An entirely new kind of third rail
has been adopted by the New York
Central road for use on its electrical
service between the Grand Central sta
ton in New York city and Croton and
White Plains. The system is the joint
invention of Vice President Wilgus
and Frank ]. Sprague. The third rail
is suspended In a wooden sheathing
which is held up every eleven feet by
iron brackets. The shoe of the train
will make its contact with the under
surface Of the third rail. The Central
officials say there will he practically no
danger IA this kind of third rail
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24

day If you'll just get over this non
sense of writin' fer the papers. Why
don't you quit?"
Eyes. captain" replied the future
humorlst, land don't We s'pose 1 might
make a pretty good writer some day
if III jest get over this tryin' to be a
riverman?"
At the outbreak of the war he joined
n Confederate company of irregulars,
but was never in much of a battle. He
said the enemy never wanted 10 fight
when his men did, and when the enc
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24

the tearing OF or masks. nypocrlsTes
and seemings, in spreading common
sense and in giving the world new.
sane. wholesome and rational views of
things. this prince OF testers has placed
the age under a debt that we ourselves
can scarcely measure.
Samuel LanGhorn Clemens he was
Christened. but il is too much of Il
mouthful of Il name, aud besides Mark
Twain fits better. He was born at
Florida, Mo, but early moved TO Han
nibaL His father was an absentmind-
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24
FAD IN UNDERWEAR.
Steel Works Employee Covered Hfs
Body With Porous PInsters.

\ new use for porous plasters was
recently brought To light when it was
discovered that a foreign employee of
the Minnequa steel plant had convert
ed a number of them into Il suit of I'M
derwear, says the Pueblo Chieftain. 1t
was not exactly union suit, but was
more on the crazy quilt order. The
discovery was not made easily. and il
was only after u strenuous effort that
the foreigner was obliged to reveal to
what use he had put the porous plas-
ters which had been handed out to him
for medicinal purposes only"
As is known. all the employees of the
Minnequa plant pay 81 Il month for
thc privileges at the dispensary. OF
the hundreds who call there each day
comparatively few come to have inju-
ries dressed. The balance are troubled
with coughs and colds. rheumatism
and hundred other small ailments \
good per cent of them make regular
calls ana ask for Iiniment. salre or DO
rous plasters without saying anything
about their ailments. AS rule the at
tending physician takes it for granted
that the men are in need Of the differ
ent articles. and they are handed out
without asking any questions other
than 10 ascertain the name.
1t was discovered. however. that the
foreigner in question called almost ev-
cry day for the plasters. and the physi-
clans began to think that be was
healthy looking patient to be having
so many pains \ few days later they
We're given the tip that there were
some of the foreign employees OF the
plant who were wearing the plasters
for underwear
81 QlaQ Mas laid to tran the artist
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24
CantaIoupe Perfume the Newest.

One would not suppose a girl from
Charleston. however bright and pretty.
would be the pioneer in fashion. but
a maid from that staid city who has
been visiting the daughter of Bishop
Mackay-Smith In Washington has in
PRODUCED a new perfume, says the New
York PreSs-that is. she has made il
known in American society. for Pari-
slams have had il for many years Ii Is
scent which is So delicate that il
sss1S = mere SUGGESTION ~ az odor.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24

great author, and Under this double
bereavement the world saw him in II
new light. kilograms of coincidence
came from all corners of the earth. 1t
is said that more were received than
at the death Of Queen Victoria. so uni
versally known and popular is this
Yankee wit and philosopher. On the
modest block of marble over his wife's
grave he placed this inscription:
Warm summer sun.
Shine kindly here:
Warm southern wind,
Blow softly here:
Green sod above.
Lie light. lie light:
Good night. dear heart.
Good night, good night.
His kindness OF heart is shown to
others than his own family. He has
started more than one young man in
business. He got a doctor his first pa
tent by telling banker i'll need of
medical services that he knew Il physi-
clan who had never lost a case. He
then gave the name of the young would
be practitioner, who indeed never had
lost case-he never had one to lose.
1t is not generally known that Sam
uel NJ. Clemens is an inventor, but lie
has taken out patents on Il vest strap,
a scrapbook and Il game. Most of his
inventions, however, are covered by
copyright rather than by patents.
AnecdOtal Burs.
And now look out, for am going TO
shake the chestnut tree and open 4 few
anecdotal burs. They We're not chest
nuts, however, when Mark Twain grew
them.
When Mrs. Aston said that man
could not be Il gentleman without Il
college education Mark said he regard
ed it as IA direct personal insult
When the humorist was slightly i'll
per sent a man to find out the particu-
lars. Mark said to the reporter:
Young man, just Wire your paper
that the report of my death is greatly
exaggerated"
When asked as to the sort of people
who make the most sympathetic listen
ers he replied. college men and con-
victS.''
He is resourceful and ready on the
spur of the moment. One morning
when his telephone was not working
we'll he used words hot enough TO bis
ter the receiver. Then when he discov-
cred an eminent divine at the other end
he said blandly:
rs that you, doctor? My butler has
been at the telephone and said he
co-IlGu' L understand Xou.''
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24
MARK TWAIN AND HIS DISTINGUISHED CAREER

er topics. but even then they would
not believe he was in earnest. There
are few more imaginative or better de-
Scriptive writer's than he, few who can
grow more indignant at injustice. few
who can more effectively puncture a
sham But the spontaneous fun in him
must have vent. 1t is so much part
of his nature that it shows in every
thing he says or does. In his letters
and private conversation it is present
as much as in his books. 1t is even
revealed in his actions, for he has ever
been a practical joker. He himself
says that he smokes all the time when
awake, but has never learned to smoke
in his sleep. 1t is the same with his
joking.
"SeIf Never Seems to Enter His Mind"
There is q tenderer side to his work,
a quality of pathos. and this gentier
vein shows forth in his home relations.
He is a model host, famous for his fine
compliments, and is affectionate in all
his home relations. His sister-in-law
has said of him that self never seems
to enter his mind. The wants of 9TH
erS are always uppermOSt
Concerning his mother. the famous
humorist once said: LAS to wit, l have
met my Waterloo. There is one wo-
man whom L could never get ahead of
in repartee-my mother" When Marks
steamboat captain reproved him for
his drawl in speaking, asking him,
What makes you pull your words
SOP the then cub pilot replied: You'll
have to ask my ma. She pulls them
the same way"
Mark Twain's wife was a Miss Olivia
LangdOn of Elmira. whose father was
quite wealthy. When the courtship
was young Twain called ON the old
gentleman. Siding toward the door,
he timidly asked:
Have you noticed anything beAween
your daughter and me, Mr. Langdon?''-
NO" was the sharp reply.
We'll" said the irrepressible Mark
IF you keep Il sharp lookout you WILL
The Twains had three daughters, and
to commemorate their birth the proud
father erected three handsome stone
watering troughs, with the name and
ing to the world what should be wo
mans most hidden secret-her age.
He never had son, unless Tom Saw
yer" "Huck Finn" Harris" ''Puddn-
head Wilson" and Mulberry Sellers"
may be considered boys of his.
The death of his daughter Clara and
Of Mrs Clemens were sad blows TO the
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24

lie once told William Dean HowellS
that indecision had made his fortune.
When he could not decide whether TO
spend his last nickel for Il cigar or an
apple he kept ii and so got rich.
Here is n sample of Il rather startling
practical joke y kindly old couple on
whom the Clemenses were going TO call
We're surprised in the early evening at
finding Il young baby left on their
front steps. They decided to adopt the
waif
When the visitors arrived Mrs. Glenn
ems almost tainted on discovering that
the baby was her own.
Twain was always fond of cats. He
had Il bunch once that did not live
long. They were overweighted with
their names. lie thought. The names
We're Sour Mash. ApOllnaris, Zoroaster
and Blatherskite.
Detests Collars and Cravats.
He is not overload of clothes. pre-
ferring pajamaS around home. lie spe
cially deteStS collars and cravGtS.
When living at Hartford he used TO
climb over the back fence and call on
collarless condition. One morning aft
er such a call Mrs. Stowe received
package containing Il collar and era
vat with this note:
Mrs. Clemens tells me that L spent half
an hour at your house this morning with
out the inclosed articles. Therefore 1
must ask you to look at them for that
length of time.
p. S.-Please return them; they are all
l have.
This Hartford house, by tire way,
was built with the kitchen in front i'll
order, as the owner said, that the Serv-
ants might see the callers without tax
ing time to run into the halls and peep
through doors.
Much of the humorist's work is done
where he goes to escape from his adj
mircrS.
When during a contagion one of the
Twain houses was disinfected Mark
said that the fumigator was SO strong
that it took all the brass off the door
knobs and all the tune out OF the pi-
ano."
Mark Twain's latest book, in which
he skins King Leopold of Belgium, is
probably the boldeSt attack ever made
on a crowned head, and it is as right
eous as it is brave.
The browning act OF the career of
this most famous of American writers
was in paying off the debts of the pub
fishing firm of Charles l.. Webster *
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24

Ell man and forgot the youngster at
moving time. a neighbor heard the
boy crying. rescued him and overlook
the family on the road. Mark had lit
tie schooling and became a devil in his
brothers printing Office Afterward he
was cub pilot on the Mississippi.
where he has been described as green
looking, plodding and slow. One day
the captain said TO him:
:...Sam, you'll make 4 riverman some
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24

Struck Pay Dirt Right Away. -
| His brother who had owned the print
ing Office was made secretary of the
territory of Nevada at about this time
and took Sam along as his private sec
Rotary. Here he tried mining and writ
| ing for the papers. The mining did not
pan out, but in writing he struck pay
dirt right away. At first he signed his
stuff Josh" but soon went back TO the
steamboating term of Mark Twain"
| The San Francisco papers noticed him,
and he got Il job there as Il reporter
In after life he ascribed his rise in the
world to the fact that he lost that job
He tried mining again, with no better
luck than before, after which he went
10 the Sandwich Islands, writing let
tiers 10 the papers ON the trip. He aft
erward returned to Frisco and lectured
about it. Then he wrote The Jumping
Frog" which Immediately made him
famous. He went east and edited a
paper at Buffalo. In later life he has
lived at Hartford, Conn: New York,
Elmira, London, Paris, Florence. Vi
emma and pretty much all over the
world. He now has n home at larry
town, N Y, where he is neighbor OF
that other famous press humorist John
u. Rockefeller. Twain has more hair
than Rockefeller, but the oil king has
more money, so the score is even.
Mark Twain's opinion of himself is
best told in a story. Like Grant, he
often pauses TO look at shop windows,
especially those of bookstores. When
once so occupied an irrepressible who
had not seen his face paused beside
him. Spying picture of Twain in the
window, the young person asked:
What do you think of him?''
II think" said Mark, that he is the
greatest impOstor the American people
ever refused TO take seriously"
How soy
We'll because he really is serious
and because nobody'n believe him.
He passes for being humorous"
Twain then faced his questiOner, who
promptly fell dead. but revived suffi-
ciently TO tell the story.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24
In Smart Livery.

Housemaids in livery are the latest
innovation in smart London houses.
One fashionable woman has attired her
maids in neat skirts. tight fitting bod
ices, with natty double breasted waist
coats of yellow and black, tiny brass
buttons ON either side.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24
How Motorists Pay Fines.

\ chauffeur recently Aned at Ken
singtOn, England, said he had agreed
with his employer that he Ghe chauf
feur) should pay all fines. The prac-
tice. he added. was almost universal in
motoring circles.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24

J. O'COnnell of New Haven. the real
legitimate lightweight champion wres-
tier of Connecticut-in fact, of New
England-wOuld like to meet any man
in the business, bar none. from 1873 TO
40 pounds. OConnell would like to
wreStle George Bothner of New York
at 135 pounds and will give him a side
bet and let winner take the whole
purse
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24

SO far as name may be given TO 1t, II
may be called 'cantalOupe." All the
young women are delighted with il,
and orders are flying to Paris. 1t
comes in a powder and as a liquid. 1t
makes one think of pleasant fields and
the Joy of living Violet. rose and hello
trope seem crude in comparison.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24
WflIinx to ObIige.

IF | agree to permit you to marry
my daughter" said the multlmilIIon-
aire sternly, will you let whisky
alonef"
You bet / will"' replied the gilded
youth, with alacrity Nothing but
champagne for me after the wedding
comes off"'-LOuisyille Courier-Journai.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24
The New Hata

Hats show the influence Of long ago
In their shapes, and, curiously enough,
many Of them are replicas OF the hats
Worn by men between 1900 and 1925
I'm both countries.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24
CoAtiy TarERf.

Probably the most elaborate and
costly target in the world has recently
been launched 10y the New York navy
yard. The target il almost IN exact
duplicate Of "A section from the hull OF
4 battleship and IS estimated TO have
cost $1,000
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24

Co, though not legally bound to do so.
1t took him years of hard work in his
old age. but finally every cent was met.
The world had laughed with Mark
Twain before 1t learned to love him
then. j. \. EDGERTON.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24
Novel Method of Handling Garbage

I'VE freeze all our garbage solid be
fore we send it away" says Chief Eli
gineer G. II. Shertenlieb of the Belle
vue-Stratford. Philadelphia. to 8 Rec
ord reporter That is 10 make IL
entirely odorless and TO stop al fer
mentation In that shape 1t is easily
handles and wholly inonensiye"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24
Ever a Practical Joker.

1t may be that his estimate is right,
that he does try To write seriously,
but that he has in him such pent up
force of native fun that he cannot keep
1t from bubbling forth. The American
people remember when he did try to
talk soberly ON Chinese missionaries,
Christian Science. imperialism and 9th
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-24
New Wear For Poacbe

English poachers have adopted khaki
for wear during business hours They
find it makes the evasion Of watcbfuI
gauekeepeEs easier.