Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1905-03-17
JUST LIKE A
MAN!
ny belle hanfaFSs
-



We've just had a letter from Aunt
Maria, our one and only rich relative,
and she t coming to visit u.s."
"And you want me to do the nice
thing and show her about. l suppose.
All right. Count on me- responded
Billy cheerfully.
mo. Indeed. Billy; far from Il. what
I want particularly il that you should
keep IN the background during her WIS.,
IT,"
"oh. Of course. II you are ashamed
Of me before your rich relatives" he
replied In offended tones.
wait. Billy. till I explain. Our
Aunt Maria IL a widow and childless.
Naturally we are all posted on her lit
tie peculiarities, OF which she has
many. and are eareful not to offend In
any way. There are so many subjects
that are tabooed that / never can
coach you on. them all before she nr-
rives. 30 when you meet her you must
keep as quiet as you can n only
'speak when spoken to-" interrupted
Billy. ''Iike a good little boy. I'll try to
remember my childhood precepts, but
I mn Of the opinion your Aunt Maria
will think her niece is not going to
make a very brilliant match. IL 1
don't speak, she'll think me a regular
stick.
Its far better she should think that
than to have you win her dislike by
saying the wrong thing. You know
you haven't much tact. Billy. / am
glad Of Il. A tactful man seems effem-
mate.
''That's right Put some sugar on
the medicine" he muttered reprOach-
fully.
"But there is one subject, Billy, you
must not mention as you value your
life. your reputation and my friend
ship. DO you think you can romem'
berT'
EN- try awfully hard. What is itT'
"Ifs cOrns."
"CornsY'
eyes. You see, when Aunt Maria'l
husband was poor-before he struck Of
In Texas-he was u chiropodist. Aun
Maria has always seemed ashamed o
that fact. and we were always caution
ed not to say a word along thOs
lines"
swell. I'll try not to tread on he
toes
"oh, Bulyr' expostuIated Mabel.
"When Is she comingY'
Tomorrow. Come up In the evenin
and call"
The following day Billy went abou
ruefully studying a little memoranda
he had written out and kept constantl
repeating to himself, Mustn't sa,
corns." Consequently when he az
peared at the home Of his iancee thn
evening and was presented to Aun
MaEAa tho only topic In his thought
was corns. He replied to all her az
proaches toward conversation In mono
syllables. Finally there came q pro
lOnged and deadly lull. and Billy. afte
racking his brains for something t
say, blurted out:
"DId you ever read Bunyan's PHI
grim's Progressr
"Oh, BiIlyg' family gasped Mabel.
The whitening looks from the othe
members OF the family and the feellnI
that he had made himself general,
disIiked caused Billy TO bring his col
20 an abrupt termination. Tho mex
day Mabel tsIephoned him to meet he
IN the park.
BILLY" she cried as soOn as she saw
him, Il know you X well that I know
how Il happened, but and th
girls are furious at you and declar
you did II on purpose. and l guess
Buiy, you had better not come agai
--aae 80 NH.a. he n.uo and th
family Is cooled down"
Billy groaned.
"YOu didn't say anything about bur
iona"
at would have done no good II
had"
"what DID your aunt say about me
a~nythlngT'
"She asked what your business was.
what did you tell herf"
II told her you were only thrOug
college aud had not yet decided villa
20 go into"
"How long win she stayT'
"a week. II win be the longest one
ever put In. WI must say goodby unit
she goes. II will never do to meet 20
this way again. They would be sure
hear OF IT,"
"Just as you say" he replied dIscol
solately.
After they had parted Billy wake
slowly downtown Suddenly he sa'
Aunt Maria coming toward him. TheI
was no escape. A iashlight Of inspirI
ton, born OF desperation, burst upo
Billy, and he determined TO make
brilliant coup. When he came up I
the elderly lady. who was laden wit
bundles OF every size and description
he stopped. lifted his hat and asked
be might not carry her bundles for hS
aud escort her home.
why. yes. don't suppose you h0y
anything else to do"
'NO, not at present" he answere'
relieving her OF her bundles and a.
e~Ommodating his pace 10 hers.
"YOung man." she said abrupt,
they tell me you have no business.
don't approve OF an idle man. especla
u q young man. Youth Ia the time
work"
al - -. -.teh -nu la auf