Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-04-16

hands on 1t, for as a human cash
drawer he a grand success. and I'm
willing to bet that at times he had col
lection OF small coinage in his insides that
had the average numismatic Japanned off
the map. After he got old enough to wash
his own face the loose change habit con-
tinued, except that he put his gatherings
in his pocket instead of his stomach.
Why, l remember, just If IL was yes
terday, how Bill used to carry a little
leather pocketbook about big a half
dollar for collecting purposes, and how
when that got full he used TO hike off and
bury the surplus in the garden. or stick
1t up the chimney, or drop 1t down the well.
AS he grew older he found out what
bank was for and pushed his savings in
there.
He never has made much of a salary has
Bill not being bright enough to read by.
but as a saver he was the real No | Sc
lect. He could salt down ST a week out
of q so salary. and when he got settled
down to business and was running smooth
he had the How to live on three cents a
day department of the Daily Orange beat
by a city block.
x
Well sir. Bill grubbed along and by liv-
ing like a slant-eyed linen worker or a
subway harp, managed to get as much as
two hundred and seven dollars and thirty
five cents ahead of the game. know. be-
cause he let me hold it for a minute once
that his bank only paying him two
per cent while an institution around the
corner, with a swell rug the floor and
near-mahogany furniture in every room.
would pay him ten. So he stuck his S20I.35
in the new concern and sat back to watch
the interest grow But he didn't wait long,
for in a couple of months the supply Of
suckers began to run low and the presi-
dent. the cashier, the board of directors
and the blond typewriter did a quick hike
for the tall and uncut, taking Bits $20.3J
along for cigarette money. The swell rug
and the nearmahOgany went for back rent.
Then" continued the man with the bad
eyes warming up to his tale Bill won't
back to the two per cent institution with
the T. S. brand on the vault. and by liv-
ing on air and things some more, managed
to put himself as much as three hundred
and fourteen plunks on the velvet. Bur
he was still convinced that two per cent
was a mighty little bit TO rake off or u
continuous performance deposit and wh,
real swell chance came his way he grab ID
it The chance was named Percy VAN -
ham words to that effect, and II c
Mudville with seven suits Of clothes, 4 -
teen letters of Introduction and L front
like the Japanese army. According to the
Mudvlle bureau of information it was the
pampered progeny of a magnate with
earning capacity like the Standard OIL, and
it had never worked in its life But Percy
ran short of money in Midwife. because
papa was peevish and fretful that week
and didn't feel like writing checks. But
Percy needed some money right away, and
he promised Bill five hundred for the use
of his three hundred and fourteen for
twenty-four hours. Bill broke the quarter
mile record Of Mudvlle sprintng to the
bank and about forty minutes later Percy
did vanishing stunt that made the late
Herman look like amateur.
That was some few moons ago." the
lantern-jawed citizen resumed, after few
more chuckles and l judge by this time
he's collected another trio of centuries. or
thereabouts. Seventeen chances to one It
was right in that Citizens Bank. the two
Ser cent institution before mentioned,
Bill wasn't going to fool around the
outside any more, and now even that safe
and sane institution, with the L. s. brand
on the vault, has gone UP salt creek on L
motor boat. Gee, but it's great"
Probably" said the clerical-looking pas
senger with whitening sarcasm. you would
not be affected by any such financial dis
aster in Midwife or elsewhere
well, not precisely, said the mean-eyed
man. chuckling some more. Il make more
money in "a week than Bill does N month.
and the only bank balance I've got Is right
here in my jeans, and totals up somewhere
near three fourteen at this exact minute
friend, and 1 do my own spending. And
I'll add, too, that there amt any Percy
VanderhamS carrying my cards or any get
rich-quick propositions that remember
me with gratitude. Nit, nixey and nope.
Not for mine
And the man with the lantern jaw and
the mean eyes swung off the car and
headed still chuckling at regular intervals,
IN the direction of the nearest wet good1
emporium