davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25
MY DOCTOR.
Puck.

Puck.
My doctor is a merry soul,
He has such funny ways;
j think of little things he does,
And laugh for days and days.
He takes a slender pointed stick,
Then tells me, Never fearH'
And pokes some cotton up my nose
And pulls It out my ear
Then stands me near the eight-day cloc
To see II can hear.
My tongue he seizes with tonEs
And sits upon my jaw,
Then jabs the handle Of a spoon
Into my waiting nav,
Or takes my tonsils in his fist
And sweetly says, Say Avn"
Attacks Of blues take to him
They turn to black and blues;
, Thermometers l fain must chew
En- though ! may not choose.
He gives me dope so active that
1t filters out my shoes.
Within one fearful, trusting eye
A. crowbar he inserts.
And swiftly In the other one
Tobasco sauce he squirts-- I'D"
The while he says. in tender tones
please tell me when II hurts"
II admit in bashful tones
A certain sort Of Ill.
It's marvellous what he can %
With one wee little pill;
/ swallowed one three weeks ago
The thing Is busy still.
dream he kneeIs upon my chest
When i am sleeping nights.
He turns my liver inside out
And then blows out my lights.
1t thus becomes too dark TO see
The other CHASTITY sights.
MY doctor Is a fearful man
l thank my lucky stars
That / am stu alive TO go
And smoke his good cigars.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25
ROOSEVELT AND THIRD TERM.
Possibility of the Nomination Being
Forced Upon Him.



I.eslie's Weekly.
Prominent democrats and republicans are
suggesting the possibility that President
Roosevelt may be nominated in 1908 by
both parties and that the nomination
would come under such conditions that
he would be compelled to accept it. His
railway rate regulation policy, his attacks
on the trusts, his desire for tariff revision
along sane lines, his civil service reform
action, and his fearless and intelligent as
serlion OF American power and influence
in the worlds affairs have given him
sway over the peoples minds and hearts
entirely unexampled in American politics.
These are some OF the reasons, but not all,
which suggest him to many conservative
and shrewd republicans and democrats as
a very strong possibility for denomination
in 1908 despite his evident and repeatedly
expressed determination to step down from
office in that year.
This situation is absolutely unprece-
dented. When Washington early in his
second term. made it known that he wanted
to retire from oflce at the end OF that
four years. the people began TO look around
for somebody else, and one element Of
them wanted Adams and the other urged
the election OF Jefferson. The people were
willing enough to let Jefferson and Madi-
son go out of once at the end of their
second term. Many of them were more
than willing Monroe had no opposition
for election to his second term, because
there was only one party in the country at
that time, but nobody wanted him for a
third term. Jackson's own party got
pretty tired OF Jackson before he finished
his second term. Had Lincoln lived 20
serve out a year or two OF his second term
he would have had to fight the radicals
OF his party who overthrow Johnson for
attempting TO carry out Lincoln's policy.
Cleveland's own party In the national con-
vention held near the end of his second
term, voted down. by large majority,
proposition TO indorse his administration.
Mckinley, after his second Inauguration,
was not thought OF by any one in connee-
ton with another nomination. As every
body remembers. the attempt to give Grant
third nomination failed, and would have
split his party had # succeeded.
II is noticed that this third-term talk for
Roosevelt calls out no cries of Caesar
ISM" such as greeted the mention OF
Grants name in that connection. Even II
, this talk should never materialize in acts.
Il would sull be a unique demonstration
in our politics-one which Americans would
be apt to recall while the country lasts.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

Several district judges are kept busy
night and day by issuing mandates, re.
stralning orders, counter injunctions
and citations, and in interpreting. re-
adjusting and snufing out conflicting
provisions OF the revised primary cleo
ton laws and general election laws,
and it will take the county board sew,
eral sessions to discuss and dispose OF
the claims and counter claims that have
arisen from the judicially propounded
and expounded provisions Of the new
law.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

The annulment Of the first days regis
tration in Omaha and South Omaha re-
minds us forcibly of the fact that we
have altogether too much court-made
law in these parts. The ruling by which
more than 5000 citizens who had regis
tered for the coming election are com
PEELED to re-register, is. to say the least,
very aggravating.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

Our amiable popocratic contemporary
declares that it is not nepotism to sad
die FIVE or six members of family on
the municipal payroll at one time, pro-
vided only that they are not all charged
up to the same department. 1t amounts
to the same thing I'm the end, however.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

when II is recalled that the increase in
the salary roll OF his office to take care
Of the extra work involved in the en-
forcement Of the scavenger law came
during the first twelve months of his
term, while the county board was run
by a democratic majority, which was
mighty careful not to give a republican
treasurer a single clerk more than he
needed.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

A campaign circular, charging VIII
liam Fleming with nepotlsm, which has
been floating about the town, is de-
nounced by the Omaha Fink-o-fobiac as
a silly attack on Fleming, but to the
average person endowed with horse
sense its republication by that sheet will
appear more silly, II not most silly.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

Just before election it has taken the
local democratic organ nearly three
solid columns Of type to tell how VIII
liam Fleming began life in Omaha; but
just after election about three lines will
tell the tale how Fleming was dis
tanced in the race for county treasurer.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

Tue testimony OF the aetuary Of the
Mutual Life Insurance company would
indicate that when there is not enough
money received by companies to foot all
legitimate bills and provide soft places
for oficiais. the concern must go TO the
wall; but the history OF a number of
companies prove that the business can
be run without graft"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

an knocked a big chunk o. plaster on thu
wall, an ma didn't lick me.-Cleveland
Leader.
Head of the Firm Cooking at him more
closely)-I think you're the young fellow
that was here last week inquiring for sit
uation.
Young Fellow-Yes sir; but I'm not 30
blamed particular now. I'm hunting for
work.-Chicago Tribune.
Don't you enjoy seeing a man called
when he's blufing?" asked the energetic
politician.
NO" answered Senator Sorghum IT
can't say l do. Every time a blum Is called
people get more suspicious. and II is that
much harder to make the next one 80
through. "-Washington Star.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

The North and South Platte line in
Nebraska politics has been growing
fainter and fainter of late years, but if
anything is likely to obliterate it alto
gether 1t will be the Union Pacific and
Burlington excursions Of track builders
sent into one another's territory.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

Accepting the testimony before the
Interstate Commerce commission as
true. the Burlington and Union Pacific
must want to lose money when they
plan new lines to haul livestock.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25
Hot Tips for Magnates,
Pittsburg Despatch.

By a careful study OF the presidents
utterances on the southern tour the rail-
way magnates may be able to gather that
he has not changed his attitude on the
question OF rate regulation, and also that
he will be able to tell the difference be-
tween real rate-regulation bill and a life
like imitation OF one.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25
The Duty of Congress.

st. Louis Globe-Democrat.
The fact that he Is opposed to govern
ment ownership OF railroads is emphasized
by President Roosevelt in his southern
| speeches. on the other hand, no matter
who may own them, he maintains that
their proper regulation is one of the duties
that congress owes the public and railroads
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

In the light of free trade" riots in
Chile. Uncle Sam can congratulate him
self that the free trade" party in this
country is so small in practice, be what
it may in theory, that it cannot muster
enough men to create such disturb
ance.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

If Governor Hoch intends to enforce
the prohibitory law in Kansas he should
prepare plans for resuming his editorial
work at Marion at the expiration of his
present term; for Kansas is only happy
under the conditions laid down by the
late John ]. Ingalls, when "the cranks
have their law and the boys have their
heern
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

The cEar says that Grand Duke Cyril
should be stripped of his titles and in
future be known as NJ. ROmanoff. Per
haps, under these circumstances, he
might be able to lead more useful life.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

Minister Russell has undertaken to
bring about a more friendly feeling be
tween France and Venezuela. II is to
be hoped that in the process he win find
none Of his predecessors' discarded
checks.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

Cuncliffe denies taking 500 before he
lifted the 100000 package. He evil
IDENTIFY prefers to face the court as a
master OF high finance rather than as an
ordinary petit larceny thief
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

There is a gratifying prospect of the
marked increase in the railroad mileage
of Nebraska within the next twelve
months, but there is no assurance Of
a corresponding increase in the grand
total of the railroad assessment
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25
A Great ExampIe.
Everybody's Magazlne.

Admiral Togo's income is less than S,OOO
a year Like every good Japanese husband
Of the upper class" he hands the money
over to his wife, who gives him small
allowance Here is custom which Ameri-
can married women should insist upon
adopting Give the old man chance but
don't give him too much spending money!
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

II President Roosevelt had his way
and ali grafters and boodlers were
driven out Of politics, there would be
great many vacancies to I'LL in places
high and low.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

Mr.. Hitchcock is suffering from an
attack OF Fink-o-fobia and his associates
on the editorial stan are manifesting
alarming symptoms of the ST. vitus', or
rather st. Andrews dance.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

Clear the track for Mr., Hartman. II
he has any Christmas gifts for Omaha
in the shape OF shop engagements, new
buildings. or track extensions, he should
be assisted to deliver the goods as soon
aa possible.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

Admitting that the voters are respon-
Sible for the political "grafter," they
certainly cannot he charged with being
responsible for grafters in private cor
poratiohs. although they have to foot
the bills.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

Tuskegee institute has demonstrated
that in comparative development in the
last forty years it does not have to take
a back seat for any white mans school.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25
strIkine at the Root.
Rrooklyn Eagle

Fake suits against railroad companies are
too common. Now that the companies are
discouraging them by having not merely
the fakirs, but their lawyers Indicted, peo-
pie win be little more careful about
the way they get off the cars and into the
cotirts
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

The attempt 70 make campaign capt.
tai against County Treasurer Fink by
charging him with excessive expendi-
lures for clerical help falls rather nat
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25
Record in Russian strategy.
Minneapolis Journal

MINNEAPOLIS JouThaI'
careral Idnevitch has received impe-
rial notice to withdraw. Linevitch was
the man who did not get his army smashed
up in the battle that was never fought.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25
WHEN ONT OF TOWN.

Subscribers leaving the city tenn
porartly should have The Bee
mailed 90 them. II IL better than
n daily letter from home. Adj
dress win be changed az often as
requested
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

Inc invasion of the North Platte coun-
try by the Burlington and the invasion
q IL South Platte country by the
Union Pacific bodies no harm to Omaha.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25
Awaiting the Unexpected.
snrinrAeld Republican.

A Senator Allison endorsement Of secre-
tary shaw's presidential candidacy is re-
ported from Iowa. Something more to the
point would be a Governor Cummins en-
dorsement, and It is not and probably will
not be forthcoming.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25
LooIs on the Other SIC
Chicago News.

A railway president denounces rate regu-
lation as commercial lynch law" II
would be interesting TO learn how he char
acterizes the process Of strangling com
peting shipper.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

People Of New Orleans may now come
out Of their shells and see how much
the world has changed since they were
sentenced to solitary confinement.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

Current dispatches indicate that the
seat OF Russian warfare has merely
shifted from Asia to Europe.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

The greatest, recent victory of the
American newspaper is the conversion
Of Count White to the idea Of a free
press In Russia
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

When Bryan and Togo met in Toxic
they were doubtless polite enough each
to avoid the subject of The First
Battle"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

We shall presently learn whom the
Good Government league has singled out
for slaughter on the various county
tickets.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25
srATEMENT oF -CIRCuI.ATIoN.

SIAI EMENI UF tIhCUI1AIION'
State Of Nebraska, Douglas County SIS:
g. g. Rosewater, secretary Of The Bee
publishing Company, being duly sworn,
says that the actual number of full and
complete copies Of The Daily Morning
Evening and Sunday Bee printed during
che month OF September, 1905, was as fol-
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25
LINES TO A LAUGH.

you say he's a hard loser7'
We'll, rather. Why, he'd holler fraud II
prohibition ticket. "-Louisvllle Courier
Journal.
Hello. pa said the college youth on
the long distance phone; Il was begin
ming TO get worried about that check
wrote 10 you for"
Don't worry about II, my boy" replied
his father; ''tts safe"
"AhW
Yes, safe an my check book. Goodbye"
Philadelphia Catholic Standard.
That's a true proverb about the fool
and his money being soon parted"
Have you, had any recent proOfp'
Yes; last evening a fool got in the way
OF my auto, and his loose change was scat
tered all over the reet."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Tommy-Hurray Were goin' 10 move
Bobby-How dyer known
Tommy-I throwed a brick In IN parlor
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25
TORT
PITT
HOTEL

ga new, strictly modern, abso-
lutely freproof hotel, within
two blocks of the Union
Station and FIVE minutes of the
center of the wholesale or re-
tail business a nd theatrical
district.
qSpacious and beautiful lobby
and public rooms.
qFurnishment and decorations
elegant and in good taste.
qHot and cold running water
in all sleeping rooms.
qTelephone in all rooms.
qs2 rooms at $500 per day.
qOver 800 rooms from s.. so
to $500 per day.
q4I rooms with bath at $500
per day.
qOther rooms with bath 81. 50
to $500 per day.
Restaurant, Palm Room
Private Dining Rooms
Mems Cafe
GOOD foods, carefully prepar-
ed and served, at moderate
prices.
Penn Ave and 10th c.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-25

Yes. safe IN my check book. Goodbye. "
Philadelphia Catholic Standard.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1905-10-27

America, and become a citizen again
Of that grand old country OF the stars
ana stripes and asked dad how he
could do it, for he said he had rather
work In a slaughter house in America
IMAM be a grand duke IN England
4 never saw dad look so sorry for a
man as he did for Aston. and he told
MIN the only way was to sell out his
ranch in London and go back on an
emigrant ship, take out his first pa
pers, vote the democratic ticket and
eventually become a citizen Aston
was thinking over the proposition. and
dad had asked him ii he was NOT
afraid OF dynamiters. when he shud-
dered and said every day he expected
TO be blown sky high. and finally be
smelled something burning and said
the smell reminded him OF an Ameri.
can Fourth Of July.
You see. had been sitting stlIl on
the step OF the veranda SO long | got
nervous, for something exciting. 50
took giant firecracker out OF my
pocket and lit the long tail. and showed
i under the porch and looked inno-
cent. and just then one OF the funkies
with the highest pants you ever saw
came along and patted me on the head
and said I was a nice boy. and that
made me mad, and when he went 70
sit down beside me on the step took
my horse chestnut out OF my pocket
and put ii on the step Just where he
SAT down. and how il happened to
come out 50 don't know. 1t must have
been Providence You see just as the
turnkey hunked on the chestnut burr.
the frecracker went off. and the man
jumped up and said: Ell's-fre. ham
bowed, and he had his hands on his
pants and the air was full Of smoke.
and dad got on his knees and said
Now lay me. and Mr. Aston faint
ed all over rocking chair and tipped
beer bottles on the yeranda and more
han 40 servants came. and told dad
% come on. and we got outside the 4
gate ahead OK the police and got a
'ab and drove quicker than scat To
lie hotel. anu asst dad what he.
hought & was that went of. and he (
aid: You can search me. but he 4
aid he had got enough OF trying IL .
eform escaped Americans. and we got (
u the hotel and laid low, and the \
newspapers told about a dynamite 4
outrage, and laid it to anarchists
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1905-10-27

tom step SO hard my hair raised right
up stin. like a porcupine Then /
listened 70 dad and Astor talk about
America and ! never saw a man who
seemed 20 be 50 ashamed tha. ne was
a hrevet Englishman. as he did lie
said he had SO much money that Il
made has head ache to hear the inter
EST accumulate nights. when he
couldn't sleep. and yet ne had no more
enjoyment than Dreyfus ala on Devils
island. He had automobiles that would
MI our exposition building. horses and
carriages by the score. but he never
enjoyed a ride about London. because
only one person In ten thousand knew
him. and those who did looked upon
him with pity and contempt because
he had reuounced his country 10 get
solid with the English aristocracy. and
nobody would speak 10 him unless
they wanted 70 borrow money. and II
they did borrow money from him he
was afraid they would pay II back. and
make him trouble counting H. lie
told dad be wanted 70 get Back into
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1905-10-27

Inquiry IS made now and then. 3
said James Atkinson. OF PHILADELPHIA.
as TO where Patrick Henry. the
Tongue Of the Revolution. IS buried
The great orator lies in a quiet grave
on the estate in Charlotte county.
Virginia. where he formerly lived.
Red Hill is the name Of the estate
which is on the Stanton river 80
miles from Lynchburg When Pat.
rick Henry bought the place it com.
prised about $500 acres. One Of the
nearest neighbors was the celebrated
John Randolph, Of Roanoke. Is miles
away Red Hill is now owned by Hen.
rvs grandson, William Writ Henry
Baltimore Sun.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1905-10-27
~ non GEoRGE W PECK.

tEX Governor ~ Wisconsin Formerly
E4ltoe ~ icck's sun. Author OF
ie.A BAD Boy e.c)
psr.st- 1885, rs Joseph d Bawles)
Come In y0u young heather" said
ne -stcerl man. as the Bad Boy looked
throueh iae front door ITS a foggy
ilorr.ug
"Ioegy said the Bad Boy. as he
seated himself say ola man. you
.ust ought % see a London fog. II
= court sentenced ME TO live in thar
town. would appeal the case. and
ass ,he judge 90 temper his sentence
with mercy and hang me. The fog
there IS So thick you have 10 feel
around Ike a blind goddess. and when
you show up through the fog you
look about IS feet high. and you are
SO Wet you want TO be run through a
clothes wringer every little while For
TWO days We never left our hotel. but
looked out OF the windows waiting for
tae fog 20 go BY and watching the
people swim through It, without turn
ing a hair. Dad was for going right
u the lord mayor and lodging a com
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1905-10-27

everybody hates me here and | don't
dare 80 home 70 collect my rent for
Tear VIII be guaranteed at Ellis is
land and sent back to England as an
undesirable emigrant who has commit
ted crime, and Is not welcome in the
land where was born. old man. have
glass Of Milwaukee beer and let's
talk Of your home and my birthplace
and forget that there is such a coun-
try as England
Dad sat down on the porch. and I
went out on the lawn chasing peacocks
and freeing guinea hens. and setting
dogs on the swans. until a butler or =
duke or something took me by the COL
lar and shook me til my teeth 20,
loose, and he took me back to the
yeranda and sat me down on the bot.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1905-10-27

IL her system is IN "A dcranged condi
ton, or she Is prcdiSpOscd TO apopleNy
or congestion Of any organ. IL is at this
time likely 10 become active and. with
a host OF nervous Invitations. make life
n burden.
Atthis time. also cancers aud tumors
are more liable 10 begin their destrnc-
tive work. Such warning symptoms as
a sense OF suffocaiion. not flashes. diz-
illness, headache. dread OF impending
evil, sounds in the ears. timidity. pal
pitation of the heart. sp- rks before
the eyes. Irregularities. constitution.
variable appetite. weakness and inqui-
etude are promptly needed by intclii-
gent women who are approaching the
period of life when woman's great
change may be expected
Lydia +. Pinkhams Vegetable Com
pound i the worlds greatest remedy
for women az this trying period and
may be relied upon TO overcome all dis
tresSing symptoms and carry them
safely through 10 healthy and happy
old age.
Lydia r. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound invigorates and strengthens the
female organism. and builds up the
weakened nervous system IS no other
medicine can.
Mrs A. + G Hyla3a. OF Chester
town, Nd. in 4 letter 70 Mrs. Pink
ham, says:
Dear Mrs Pinkham.-
u bad heen suffering with falling Of the
womb for wears ami vas passing Through the
change u life u B womb was badly swollen
/ had a C1ol deal q soreness. dizzy SPELLS.
b headaches. ami WIS very nervous wrote
yuu for ulyine nra commenced treatment
with lydia T. ilrhham's Vegetable COM
pound Is You directed. and am happy toSav
that az those distressing symptoms 10. me.
ami have passed safely through the change
q life a well woman
For special advice regarding this i'm
poriant period women are invited 10
write 10 Mrs Pinkham for advice 1t
Is free and always helpful.