davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15
ouAKER REFLECTToNs.

CFrom the Philadelphia Record'I
Even love doesn't mind making goo
goo eyes at money.
Brevity may be the soul of wit, but
it isn't its sole existence.
The genius dreams while the plain,
ordinary mortal does things
Why do the people who preach
eternal happiness always wear such
long faces?
Bobby had heard his father talking
about deer stalking. How can deers
talk ?" promptly demanded Bobby.
If success only came to those who
were fitted for it the chronic kicker
would still do business at the same
old stand.
Miss Antique='rI am going to marry
him because he is mot like other men. +"
Miss sithing-"Ah, yes, Of course.
He asked you to-"
Necessity may be the mother of in
vention, but many a poor inventor will
tell you that invention is also the Off
spring of necessity
Blobbs- "She's going out among the
savages as missionary And she's so
pretty, too" Slobbs-''Yes she looks
sweet enough to eat"
It's curious that the fellow who has
left all his. money at home should
scorn the proffered loan of a nickel
for car fare to go home and get it.
Nell-"Mrs. Goodleigh says she
never has to buy any buttons" Belle
-"She has a friend in the business, I
suppose" Nell-''No, her husband
takes up the collection in church"
Mag Observation-Disclosures do you live %
Prisoner-'.NIy home is where my hat
is" istrate-"Indeed." Prisoner
-''Yes, but just at present I haven't
any hat
Blobbs='S hakespear told US about
the seven ages of man, but he didn't
say anything about the two ages of
Woman" Slobbs-"And what are the
two ages Of woman % Blobbs-'sThe
age she says she is and her real age. .
Wigg-" Subbubs is a man with bull
dog tenacity. I never knew a fellow to
hang on to anything So" Wagg-
sfThat's force Of habit. He hangs onto
A trolley car strap every evening all
/ the way to Overlook"
youthful NJ. D, of St Ives,
/ No longer in medicine thrfves.
He was called in to see
A man stung by bee,
And prescribed a skin ointment for
hives.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15
GLOBE SIGHTS.
TFrom the Atchison Globe.1

IFrom the Atchison Globe.J
Don't start on an uphill pull after
you are forty.
So many things happen to hurt the
feelings of old people,
A man is always longing to cain
somebody fool to his face.
Check yourself up and you will find
that you are kicking too much.
Ever remark now awkwardly a green
hand does up a bundle in a store?
What a very precious thing it is that
1t never makes anyone sick to laugh!
Get acquainted with any preacher
and you viii find it his ambition to
reach the men.
A woman who loves her husband. and
IS nice and sensible. is about the incest
thing in the world.
An Atchison woman who has been
divorced from two husbands. is dream
ing on wedding cake.
After knowing me- a North Atchi-
son young man said to his steady
don't other men seem undressing
When a woman goes into a restau-
rant with man and allows him to or
der her dinner. that settles it: she is a
bride
When a man returns home after be-
ing away on trip, people do not seem
as glad to see him as he thinks they
ought to be.
A new man will arrive in Atchison
men. It is said of him that he VIII
have a hand Of iron, gloved in vel
vet'
We despise the sort of woman who
says what she thinks" People can't
reply as sharply as she deserves, and
take it out in hating her, and in talk
ing about her behind her back.
There was a big effort made some
months ago to get rid of a certain fore
man. A new foreman was finally Sc
cured, and now there is a big effort to
get rid Of him A foreman's popularity
lasts about as long as a preachers.
When a woman does not get any
mail land she seldom does get any she
says jestingly to the postman, What
have I done to you?'' Are you mad
at me?'' Maybe you think those merry
jests do not make the postman weary
An Atchison man who recently tried
Christian Science reports that it cost
him a dollar treatment, absent, or
present. but as there were no prescrip-
lions to fiji, he recommends it in prefer
ence to a doctor and druggist bill COM
biueds
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15

has been too busy paying off its DEBTS
and accommodating a bank account 10
think much about art. but now the
time has come when it can begin TO
rive more attention to the finer things
of life As we become older, we
also bacone a more settled people, ana
we become more disposed TO look aLlel
those things which appeal to the Aii9l
sensfbilities. We are already an ln'ei-
1ectuaI people. Good books appear ~
us. and we read a great deal but Aei
tofore we have not had an oppoltuli'y
to educate our artistic side by viewing
fine paintings. That opportunity IS no"
brought to US.
There is something appealing IN d
fine picture. All pictures may not ap-
peal to all people, but there are SONS
which do Occasionally an artist so re-
produces an emotion which is common
to humanity that it appeals to every
heart, from the lowly bootblack to the
great fnancier. Such a picture was
Breaking Home Ties It does not re-
quire a knowledge of the technique OF
are to appreciate such a picture as
that, and nearly every great painting
has more or less of this quality in It.
The artist depicts on the canvas his
thoughts and the emotions of the heart
more truly than the great writer puts
them into words.
The people of Topeka and Kansas are
therefore to be congratulated on this,
the first exhibition OF paintings by rep
resentative American artists here, and
it is to be hoped that it will hereafter
be an annual event.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15

That is correct.
Jerry guessed it the first time.
But while forgotten, the cross of
gold and the crown of thorns are not
gone. They are still doing business,
although not at the old stand.
Back in 1896 Wall street had a
patent on both the crown of thorns
and the cross of gold. That was when
the crown was being pressed on the
brow of labor and the rest of US were
being crucifed on the cross of gold.
But that time has passed. Kansas
has improved on Wall streets patent
and now has one of its own. The
crown of thorns is being pressed upon
the brow of John D. Rockefeller,
while John W. Gates and other La
Sale street and Wall street spectators
are being crucihed upon the cross of
gold which has been made by the
Kansas wheat crop.
The cross and the crown do not be-
gin to look so obnoxious-to us-as
they did eight years ago. It makes all
the difference in the world who is be-
ing crowned and crucifed.
That is why the cross of gold and
the crown of thorns are forgotten in
Kansas. Jerry Simpson himself is the
land agent of a big corporation. Eight
years ago if Jerry had looked in a
glass and seen himself in his present
capacity, he would have SHE'D worse
than a country horse at its first auto
mobile. Now Jerry thinks nothing at
all of holding an eastern Spectator
up against the cross of gold and driv-
ing a few spikes in him.
Eight years ago Kansas was sending
millions of dollars to Wall street every
year in paying off interest and mort
cages. That was when Wall street
was doing the crucifying, and Kansas
knew all about the cross. But Kan
sas raised so much wheat and corn.
and so many cattle and hogs. that the
mortgages were all paid off, and after
that Wall street had to go down in it's
pocket and pay out good money to get
anything from Kansas to eat. That is
where Kansas began to play even in
the crucifying game
AS to pressing the crown of tborns
just ask John D. if Kansas doesn't
know how. Kansas fixed up a special
crown for him last winter-one that
was trimmed with four or five spe-
cially long spikes-and it has been
causing Mr.. Rockefeller and his asso-
ciates all kinds of pain ever since.
Yes, Kansas has forgotten about the
cross of gold and the crown of thorns.
but she is keeping the other fellow
thinking about them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15
T.oINTND PARAG1sArIIs.
IFrom the chicago News.1


Many a man acts foolish who isn't
a professional actor.
The Office seldom seeks the man,
but the situation frequently seeks the
cook.
It's up to young men with the en-
gagement ring habit to boycott the
diamond trust.
A spinster worries because she is
single and a. married woman worries
because she isn't.
It doesn't take a young man long to
discover that miss, kiss and bliss
rhyme together.
When it comes to keeping appoint
ments you will invariably ind the bill
collector on the spot.
The typewriter is mightier than the
telephone-when it comes to repro
ducing the message in court.
Many a crooked man is supposed to
be perfectly straight because other
men are unable to get onto his curves.
a woman can't understand why a
man should want to wear tailor made
clothes when the other kind are
cheaper.
Some men possess so much wisdom
thta they are unable to lay their hands
on certain brand in time to utilize it.
Occasionally a business man i'm
AGNES it's cheaper to marry his
stenographer than to increase her sal
ary-but it isn't.
Thirteen may be an unlueky num-
Der, but one sewing machine and
twelve monographs will do the work
of q dozen women
Woman is mans equal" says a
feminine magazine writer. Well, that
who the man is. She may be his
sUperlor.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15

Topeka is to be congratulated on
the opportunity that is brought to its
people this week to view the work of
the greatest of American artists. The
Washburn School of Fine Arts, in CO.
operation with the Topeka federation
Of clubs. the public schools and the
Commercial club, has brought here
from New York one hundred and
eight oil and water color paintings,
representing the work of sixty Amer
lean artists of high standing These
pictures are loaned to Topeka by the
artists and owners. but the expenses
Of preparing them fog shipment and
the transportation charges on them,
which have been great, are borne by
the Topeka organizations.
It is a good sign-this idea of bring
ing fine works of art out here in the
west for the people to see. Few peo-
ple can afford to own pictures of such
value and in few cities are there gal
leries in which they may be viewed
and enjoyed by the public. The peo-
pie of the west have less of these op-
portunities even than those OF the
east, vet western people are capable
Of approaching fine art. The people
of the west are a highly intelligent
class, and may be educated to a still
higher appreciation of these things if
they are brought within their reach.
That is what the exhibit which is
now open in Topeka does. It gives an
opportunity to study these great paint
ings, not only to the people Of Topeka,
but to all Kansans and others who NAV
come to the capital city during the
coming month. Heretofore the west
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15

Kansas now has on her spring clothes
and looks as sweet as high school girl
graduate
Senator Long is preparing a few ex-
tempOraneous remarks to deliver before
the Saturday Night club this week
There must be some mistake. A Los
Angeles paper prints the pictures Of 13
prominent citizens of Salt Lake City
and only one of them is named Young.
The Salt Lake directory shows that 80
per cent of the people of that burg are
descendants of the late Brigham.
The White sox got them muddy Sat
urday.
Dave Hanna is to build a $1,000 house
at Hill City. Probably he wants some
place to hand the 80 hats he car
ried home from Topeka last spring.
A Missouri man has been fined for
allowing his bees to run at large. He
should have muzzled their business
ends.
The Grand Eyrie of the Kansas Ea-
giles will meet in LeavenwOrth next
year. You know eagles always have
their eyries in rocky places.
wouldn't it make Old Van snort if
anybody but John Macdonald should re-
fer to him as Brother Vandegrift!'
A Topeka woman who was running
short of things to worry about a few
days ago, is now afraid a tornado will
come along and carry off the baby.
A relative of the famous John Doe
has turned up. The papers say that
Miss Doe has been running a joint in
Los Angeles.
A vassar girl has just made a new
record on high jumping during the
Vassar field day exercises. A mouse
was probably turned loose just as she
went to jump.
Miss Mae Woods can now have the
advertising position in the newspapers
that has been occupied by Nan Patter-
son, since the latter's contract has now
expired
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15
a Crue1 Exnerimenf.

Miss Estelle Reel, the general su
perintendent of the governments IN
dian schools, was talking about
cruelty.
Cruelty" she said, "is lack of
imagination. 1t isn't true that only
savages are cruel. All people without
developed minds, minds capable of
sympathy, are cruel. Children, till
they have learned to think, are cruel
invariably"
Miss Reel smiled.
Let me tell you about a little boy
she said. ''TO this little boy there
were given two images of plaster,
coated on the outside with pink sugar.
He wanted to eat the images, but he
was warned on no account to do so.
They are poison, he was told. If
you eat them, it will kill you
However, the little boy was
dubious. He had been cheated before
this by grown-up people. Day after
day he asked if he might not eat the
images. Finally he had a young
friend. Richard Howe, to spend the
day with him, and that night it was
discovered that one of the images had
disappeared.
His mother, nearly frantic, rushed
to him.
Harold she said. where is that
pink image?'
Harold frowned as he answered
defantly:
I gave it to Richard Howe, and if
he's alive tomorrow I'm going to eat
the other one myself
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15
The Patriotic James.

Though Henry James, the novelist.
lives abroad. he is very faithful to
America, and very proud Of his fellow
countryInen
At the Athenaeum. of which classic
club he is a member, Mr.. James dfned
one evening with Joseph Chamberlain.
Mr. James praised the English
highly during dinner. He praised their
dress, their manners, their country
life, and even their climate
Mr.. Chamberlain listened to this
praise attentively and gratefully. At
the end he said, expecting a compli-
ment for Great Britain:
Mr.. James, if you were not an
American, what would you want to
be?"
.If I were not an American" Mr..
James answered promptly, I'D want
to be one"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15
IN CHICAGO.

7 want to be a teamster
And with the teamsters stand
A scowl upon my foreneads
A brickbat in my hand.
want to join the union
And wear upon my breast
The all-puissant button,
Then 1 can dc the rest.
I then may fear no "copper"
However burly he,
For he will never bother
A union man like me.
The delegate goes walking
Along the dusty pike.
He presses on the button
And then of course strike
I want to be a teamster.
A sympathetic one,
And have the kindly friendship
OF Mayor z. F. Dunno.
For then in all my broiling
No fear need to know.
For I will find sympathy
Wherever I may 90.
want to join the union
And wear upon my breast
The all-puissant button,
Then I can do the rest.
Chicago Chronicle
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15
DOWNTRODDEN MAN.

A Kansas City young man has been
fined for calling his girl too often over
the telephone to propose to her. If
this encroachment on the rights of
man is continued, there will be great
need Of a Susan 3. Anthony to arise
from our midst and lead us out again
to liberty and the pursuit of happi-
ness.-Salina Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15

were running without licenses. They
dressed in the height of fashion and
were known as Sweet BeIlairs and
Peggy from Paris. There was great
CONSERVATION among tho viol9t o-e ~
the law when Kitty and Peg dispensed
with a few garments ana uusclosed lie
uniforms and stars of officers of the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15

THAT is false logic said Congress-
man Hepburn, in the course of an ad-
dress. Such logic as that reminds me
of the reasoning of a certain surgeon.
This surgeon, one Saturday after
neon, performed before a large class, in
a fine amphitheater, some 80 swift op-
erations. At the end, as he was wash
ing his hands. a young assistant tip
toed over to him and whispered in his
car:
In the Higgins case. sir, there ap-
pears to have been some mistake
"A mistake in the Higgins case? I
think not said the surgeon.
Yes the other insisted You cut
off Higgins wrong leg, sir
q oh, vel, that is Of no consequence >
said the surgeon. We can cure the 9TH
er enc, so it comes to the same thing
in the end Los Angeles Times
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15
GOOD FOR FRED.

anyway one Kansas man has made
money money out of John d. Rockefeller.
ma maj IS FRED Gates. his private secre-
taIy, VINO used to be a school teacher
IN Brown county. He is worth a mil
lion now. and he doesn't care whether
school keeps or not.-Iola Register
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15
FROM oTHER PENS.
THE RULING PASSION.

THE RULING PASSION.
A soldier of the legion lay dying in
Algiers,
Across the battlefield there came a
round of rousing cheers.
ooh, comrade,'' cried the soldier, "ere
my spirit is no more,
And I have joined the angels-ten me,
comrade, what's the score?
-ChicaGo Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15
TAFT MAY Re IT

The presidents announcement that
he positively will not be a candidate
for another term lends added impor-
lance to his statement that Secretary
Taft has the same idaes about rail-
road legislation and trust control that
ne has.-Ottawa Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15
Suspicious.

Representative Cochran of Missouri
wished to illustrate some remarks that
he was making about suspicious cir
cumstances.
There was a man." he said, "a
well dressed man, who came to st.
Joseph with a lot of luggage and reg
istered at one of our hotels.
LAS he stood in the Office, in con-
versation with the proprietor, a porter
took UP one of his boxes so roughly
that the handle broke. and a heap of
shirts and shoes and collars and so on
rolled out over the floor.
THE guest and the porter started
to pack these things into the box
again. The proprietor, standing by,
noticed among them an odd con
trivance-ropes, a block and tackle,
and a big steel hook-and he pointed
to this contrivance, saying:
" What have you there?'
" That said the guest, is a patent
fire escape. I never travel without it.
In case Of fire I can, with this inven-
ton, let myself down from any hotel
window, no matter what its height
may be-
THE landlord frowned.
" Our terms for guests with fire
escapes. sir he said are invariably
cash iE advance Los Angeles
Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15
AND BASEBALL.

They have commenced finding
George Washington's letters, and we
may expect documentary proof before
long that he was in favor of the gold
standard. a high protective tariff re-
tention of the Philippines, pension or
der No. rs, municipal ownership, rail-
way rate legislation, and the acquittal
CT Nan Washington Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15

Thirty or forty years ago Russia
sold us what she thought was a gold
brick. She got fooled. We paid only
some small change for it, which we
got back years ago, and now it is
sending US something like S22,00O,OOO
year of the real yellow article. If
Russia had Alaska to draw on now it
would help some.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15
WAs ID De. EYANs?

open joints in Topeka when he re
turned to that town after a two days
absence. Somebody is always trying
to cause trouble in Topeka.-Law-
renee Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15

A New York paper says a bank teller
with no bad habits has been robbing
his bank. Perhaps bank robbing is not
classified as a bad habit in the neigh
borhood of Wall street
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15

Actor Jenries declares he viii re-
tire from the stage and the drama win
have to worry along without him in
the future. At last reports the drama
wasn't doing very much worrying.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15

That Missouri mob which lynched a
negro the other day seems to have been
in too much of a hurry to find out
whether the victim was guilty until aC-
ter he was hanged. The mob probably
considered that as an incidental formal
ity anyway
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15

Oklahoma goes Kansas one better
on cyclone stories. The best Kansas
could ever do was to have the water
all blown out of a well y feet deep,
but oklahoma takes not only the wa
ter out, but a underground bucket
also, and the we'll was zoo feet deep,
too-if the printer did not get one too
many ciphers after the two.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15

Arizona has become such a lake re-
gion in the last six months. that you
won't be able to get around in the
desert if you should go out there now,
without q bathing suit.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15
FENfTNTNE.

INCONSISTENCY FEMININE.
She gowns herself exquisiteiy,
Attractive as she dare
To please the most fasttdious
She always has q care;
Then feels it an outrageous thing
This creature debonatrs
If anyone INDUCES in
A furtiVe little stare!
Bertha Randabaugh, in Lippincott's s.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15

The Missouri newspapers chronicle
the arrest of a young gentleman by the
name Of Jesse James for taking more
than was coming to him in the way Of
interest. His arrest will, Of course, be
regretted. as he is the son of a former
prominent Missouri citizen.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. JAILs.

Railroad managers are teIIing the
Elkins committee that there IS plenty
Of law to prevent rebates There is
plenty of the kind of law which fines
railroad managers $50 for $4,000
rebate. What we are looking for is a
law which viii open hospitable jails
to managers who persist in violating
the law.-Ainneapoli Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15
KANSAS COMMENT.


m = uN9IIEloLLOINs
sta+ ae p ss1e7ni-annuaI meeting of the
80 4olll Posters association is to be
n'.sa az Topeka this week. If any
o ol,Sls should have a billy goat as an
- T 151sill II should be the bill posters.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15

Your Uncle Bent is still saying things.
Here is his latest: Many women, a few
men and numerous newspapers are in
sisting that Hoch shall appoint Tiger
Bills in all the big towns with a view
Of closing the joints and stopping the
sale of Intoxicating liquors, while the
governor stands on the rim OF the
chasm anxious but hesItating. He will
not do it. Hoch is much on the say,
but little on the do"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15

Our Vladivostok exchanges have been
little slow in getting around lately,
80 we cannot say for certain. but it is
supposed that the old town is getting
ready to entertain a distinguished visit
tor, though whether it viii be Rojest-
Nensky or Togo is little uncertain-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15

Taft's tip to the railroad magnates
shows that he understands the re-
sponsibiliues of holding down the lid
during the present administration.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-15

The secret is out. Rojestvensky is
manufacturing his international law
as he needs it. That is apparently
why he is paying so little attention to
T7r.,~o