davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16
JAYHA WKER J0ES

Fort Scott set out to be good a while
ago and now it is going so far as to
prohibit automobile scorching and sell
ing cigarettes to boys.
A Seneca man was killed in a free
for all fight, in joint. The coroner's
jury found that he was accidentally
killed inasmuch as he was only an in
nocent bystander.
Some figures by Bent Murdoch: 1T
H. keplinger, who fIoated in from the
Flint Hills to see the bitches dug for
the creek to run in, brought with him
his washed-out claybank Daisy, and
Daisy has been going ever since. KEEP
linger has been constable and under
sheriff most all these Years and every
time he goes out to serve papers Daisy
goes with him. Daisy is a broncho.
Kepiinger says he thinks he has aver
aged ten miles a day from the begin
ming. This figures up $4,000 miles. KEEP
carries a straight stick and in going
mile taps Daisy eleven times, so the
Washed-Out claybank brOncho has been
Whacked over the back Z, 543, 969 times.
But Daisy doesn't mind it. She is slick
and fat and lazy and smiles every time
she gets whack."
Hail the people in Kansas know
Charlie Pattison and the other half
ought. He began active business as q
young boy out in Dickinson county and
he has achieved success at everything
/ he has turned his hand to, until he has
become several kinds of a magnate
The Abilene Reflector contains this lat
est item Of news about him: &C H
Fatuson has just purchased a $4,000
home splendidly located on Warwick
boulevarde. Kansas City. one of the an
est residence portions Of the city. The
house, handsome large modern brick
and stone dwelling. is not yet completed
but viii be ready about Janua1y Is
when the family win occupy it.
Charles automobile won the first prfze
a huge silver loving cup. given by the
board Of trade at the recent automo-
bile races in Kansas City, distancinK thir-
ty competitors on a five-mile race. It
also took the obstacle race cup. Natur-
ally man who formerly won all the
central Kansas foot races would not
have a machine unless It were the swift
est made
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.

IFrom the Philadelphia Record
The fellow who cuts off his nose to
spite his face can't very well blow about
It isn't always well to blow your own
horn, unless you happen to be chauf-
feur.
The best illustration Of woman
whose color comes and goes is an act
ress making NJ.
Lots of charitable people help the
poor who draw the line at their cwn
poor relations.
If there happens to be a loose tack
on the floor fellow never steps on It
till he has taken his shoes off.
Nell-"NIiss Antique says she always
tries to get her beauty sleep Belle
esWell, all can say is she must suffer
frightfulIy from insomnia"
BIobbs[ssA burglar broke into Bor-
rowelTs house the other night" SlObbs-
Did he get anything2" Blobbs-fWho,
Borrowed? No; the burglar was broke"
Muggins-''My wife has been doing
her Christmas shopping for two weeks" "
bought a thing" Muggins-" Neither
has mine
ssYour husband seems very attentive
to that new chorus girl" said the SOU
brette. aren't you jealous?7 mot at
ALL replied the leading lady. fShe's my
mother"
To catch a man requires a net,
And thus the girls enfold him;
But foolish maidens quite forget
It takes a cage to hold him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16
sOafE KANsAs WRrrr7s.


In the current number of the Club
Woman its editor, Mrs. Margaret Hill
McCarters takes occasion to say some
very pleasant things about a number Of
Kansas writer's. She mentions some
whose names are well known in the
literary world, and others of the Kan
sas folk who are not so wei known.
To each she pays a very nice compli-
ment, possibly more or less deserved.
Those whom Mrs. AIcCarter mentions
are Jessie Wright Whitcornb Mrs. j.
K Hudson, Myra Williams FARRELL, T.
z. Dewey, DR.. Henry w. Roby, J. E.
House. William Allen White. J. w.
Gleed, Mrs. May Be1leville Brown, e.
F. Ware and Clarence H. Matson.
There are a few omissions in the list
which will readily occur to those who
are familiar with Kansans who write.
Very likely Mrs. McCarter did not in
tend to make the list complete-to do
so would be to take up a considerable
amount of good space, for the number
of Kansas people who write, and write
well, is almost legion.
But there are a few names that sug-
gest themselves as among the foremost
of Kansas writer's. One of these is the
4AAetAA with t4AE 4llDSL versatile pen III the
Sunfower state, Charles NJ. Harger Of
Abilene. Mr.. Harger can do equally
well a poem, a piece of fiction, an
essay, a descriptive article, or a piece
of news. OF no other Kansas man can.
this be said.
Among Kansas poets Roy Farrell
Green of Arkansas City must be placed
near the top. if not at the very head
of the list. His verses are always good.
Another Kansas writer has the dis
tinction of being the author of the
book which has attained the greatest
circulation of any piece of fiction ever
written Charles NJ. Sheldon. Mr.. Shell
dons works have been more widely
read several times over than those of
any other Kansas author.
And last but not least, a name that
should be on Mrs. McCarter's list, but
which perhaps was not included from
a sense of modesty. is that of the
editor herself. Mrs. McCarter ranks
high, not only among the women of
Kansas who write, but among those of
the west. There is a finish and a
beauty about her writings that makes
one often wonder why she doesn't give
more pleasure and profit to the world
by doing more of it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16
REJANE's RICK.

Tall oaks from little acorns grow"
Behold, how great a matter little
fire kindlethl"
These remarks are not strictly
original. They are suggested by a
train of thought started by a few re-
marks in the Chicago Inter-Ocean
concerning the beginning of the up-
heavals which have been shaking the
financial world during recent months.
It was all brought about by Nine.
Rejanes kick. This term is not used
here in any slang sense, meaning a
vigorous objection in words Nine
Rejane's kick was the real thing-an
elevation of the pedal extremity. 1t
did MOB reveal only a feeting vision Of
dainty lingerie such as the patrons of
a certain class Of theatricals are famil-
lar with, but this historic kick of Re
james inadvertently removed the lid
from the management of the great in
suranee companies and revealed a con-
dition that appalled, not only the policy
holders, but the rest of the world as
well.
I'm recent years" says the Inter
Ocean, IN commenting upon this sub
sject, no more powerful single factor
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16
GLOBE SIGHTS.

LFrom the Atchison Globe.J
J. Advice is like medicine: A little
goes q. long way.
If you are so mean you are bound
to make an enemy, pick out lazy
man.
Remark heard at every street cor
ner; i wonder what He sees in Her"
Why tell your troubles to a lawyer2
That is the way he makes his living.
A laxative employee around his
place of business does not earn his
The latest song is entitled. IT Don't
Expect No One to Never Do Nothing
The. average man has SO little. that
there IS never any excuse for him hav-
| ing rough hair.
What has become of the old fash
Toned custom of giving Bibles as
Christmas gifts?
The only way to insure that your
gift will not be passed on another wear
is to give a calendar
Occasionally one of the best things
that happens to man is to call at a
doctors Office, and find the doctor out.
We would hate to be a Christian
Scientist. and know that when we got
SICK, every one smiled behind our
If a little fairy should appear. and
make visible the load everyone car
ries on his back, some startling dis
coveries would be made.
The woman who boards and the
woman who keeps house are seldom
congenial company. because Of the
envy each feels of the other.
Speaking of self-help: Ever know
a man capable of helping himself
without assistance to the clean dn-
derwear he puts on on Sunday?
If a man finds a button of, ne zrunl-
bles, and his wife looks at the five or
six left on, and wonders how any one
can be SO ungrateful.
The men claim that they care moth
ing for fashions, but we notice that
all the Widowers seem to know it is no
longer fashionable to wear band of
crepe on ones hat
The theory that we get all our
heaven and hell in this life would find
more advocates il we didn't believe
that the other man has had all the
heaven and We have had all the hell.
A number Of years ago a girls Rest
Beloved gave her Lucille for her
Christmas gift. Then it was q. toilet
set in a plush case, but Best Beloveds
this year are giving fancy perfume
sets.
drinking man is bad enough. and
it is hard to put up with a man who
beats his wife and children; we al
despise stingy man, but, after all II
vote were. taken as TO the most mn
popular man, the tiresOme man TvoI1Ie4
be buried beneath them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16
HUMOR OF THE DAY

NIaid-It's Mrs. Thompson. ma am.
Alistress-Tell her my lat home day IS
Maid-I did. ma am, and she said that
she was merely making courtesy CALI
ma am.
A huge touring car tore past with the
xtra-emergeucy tire strapped securely
to its side. Two street gamins gazed af-
ter it intently. Say, Jimmie, what's that
round thing a-hangin on the side2'
--Czeet don't you know? That's a life
preserver. en- when they're in danger G
runnin' over enybody they Jes' throws
that overheard to 'em.-Lippincott's
Magazine.
The ring Of sincerity was in his voice
when he told me of his love"
1T should have been in his hand. A
ring In the hand Is worth two in the
voice. Houston Post.
-. Have Have you prepared your Christmas
Partially. Just now it is merely a
get credit cleveland Plain Dealer.
Anna-Are you going to help trim the
Cholly-No; this year we are all going
to pool our efforts in trimming dad
Puck.
rs your husband even tempered?"
Yes answered Mrs. Wuryd He's lust
about as irritable one day as another
New York American.
You say he is a financial wreck. Then
why IS It that he appears so happy3'
wen. I guess his credits so poor that
he can't even borrow trouble '-Cleve-
land Leader
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

EFrom the Chicago News.I
Mirthfulness ana the blues are never
chummy.
It's a poor matchmaker who Is unable
to make go Of it.
Many q man who refuses to labor tries
to work other men.
Unless 2 servant knows his place he
need not expect to. keep it.
Many a wife-has lost her mind Nv s-;4,-
ing it to her husband in chunks.
Barn-storming actors are likely to see
more headlights than footnghts.
It is far easier for woman 80 sbar,a,
mans wits than q lead pencil.
a girls education Is not complete nm
til she car read a man like an omen
book. +~4t
According to the eternal fitness of
things a eontortionista should draw =
duoble salary.
A girls idea of a slow young man 10
one who has failed to acquire The h5i =
mussing habit.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16
RESTRICTIONS o. a BACHELOR

Iron the New York Press.1
The man who sits in the front seat
thinks he is the whole show.
When a girl smokes cigarettes gen
orally It is a sign she wishes she weren'
doing 1t.
It is easier for a woman to have blond
hair than curly hair, and it doesn't cost
any more
The people who think they know It all
seem to get much more satisfaction out
of it than those@who do.
No matter what a man has done to
make his wife, unhappy she viii never
forgive him Tor it unless he denies It.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16
MY TREAsTJRERg

1 nave riches almost beyond counting,
Or jewels ard of geld I've a store,
mere s none in the verdi that. I envy,
Nor ever I nlurmur for more.
Lhese treasures guard, oh. how closeTys
Il MY mes blood S no dearer to me.
4hey re locked from all danger of stealing
ana my heart holds the mystical key.
The gold is all tumbling and waving
In q mass of the sunniest curIs
on the head of a four-year-old lassie,
Ihe dearest of dear little girls.
ana when the light turns 1t to glory
9rlghI framing a sweet little face
L We a picture none of the great masters
Gould touch with a winsomers grace.
MY jewels are the diamonds that sparkie
IN the depth of her big, sapphire eyes,
AND. crown jewels beyond price, no mon
Could ever more jealousy prize.
Inc tiny teeth, snowy and dazzling
are pearls that CLEAN as she trips:
levy 1resh IN their red glowing beauty,
MY rubIes, her two laughing lips.
l envy no millionaire princes
WITH this mine of riches my own:
WIN these treasures all mine and mine
I envy no king on his throne.
Ny world may be small but It's hapuv
Ana peaceful, far from the mad vhiri
and the days toll is lost and forgotten
IN the KISS of my wee baby girl.
Baltimore American
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16

1t really ought not to hurt the feel
ings of the readers of the Marion Rec
ord even if the governor does conclude
10 90 on the lecture platform instead
Of back to his newspaper office after
his term in the state house is finished.
The Record was never any better. if as
good, as it has been since Homer Hoch
came home from Washington and took
hold of it. 1t IS first class.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16

In referring to the attempt to saddle
q gubernatoriaI boom onto him and
make him stand for it. D. r. Anthony
says: Several Kansas newspaper men,
among them Tom Cordry Of the Parsons
sun and Bent Murdoch of the FL Dora
DO Republican, both of whom hereto
fore considered our friends. have re-
Gently mentioned the editor OF The
Times in connection with the Office of
governor OF Kansas We have never
knowingly offended either of these
editors or the able and influential jour-
u1l= whose destinies they control
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16
THE NOBEL PRIZES.

It will be a cold day when any Amer
lean gets a Nobel prize The four just
awarded will stay in Europe where all
the others have been distributed. The
loss of the $40.0 900 prize money ism
hurting much, but the honor would be
highly appreciated by some deserving
man and his countrymen on this side
of the Water.-Chanute Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16

An exchange gives the recipe for max
ing the whitewash which the govern
ment has used for more than thirty
years in the White House and the sea-
coast lighthouses. This should not be
COMPOUNDED, however, with the white
wash used sometimes by legislative in
vestigating committees.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16
BENT MuRDOCK.s SAY.

Mr.. Speaker Cannon annOunced the
committees of the Fifty-ninth congress,
Monday. and we fail to find the name
of any Kansas congressman mentioned
as chairman of any one of the first
thirty-two committees. These include
all the important committees of the
house of representatives. Twenty
chairmen of the first twenty commit
tees run the house; and if a member of
congress. who has served for eight,
ten or a dozen years, can't get into this
twenty or thirty class, he should re-
sign and come home.-El Dorado Re
Dublican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16

Incidentally" remarks the Kansas
City Star, 1.-The grand jury's exposure
OF the land frauds in western Kansas
IS a hard blow at the barb wire trust %
The Star should guess again. The in
dictments mean that the cattle barons
viii have to use a few more miles of
barb wire to run their fences around
the government land so as to bring that
land outside of their pastures The
barb wire business really ought to be
pretty good in the cattle country just
now.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16

webster Davis" says the Star.
''shows disposition to crowd Edward
c. Little off the mourners' bench. -
Wrong. Edward c. Little got past the
mourners' bench stage SO long ago that
8 fuu-dedged Republican congression-
al boom is now hot on his trail and is
liable to catch up with him at any
-.oor-,a-ot
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16
WHEN - REI.IEVE ~

The Champion pipe dream OF the
season is the story that Henry Allen
and Congressman Bowersock have
formed an alliance. Believe that when
you hear of churches being turned
into dance halls, and are advised that
Coffeyville and Independence have
quit padding their census rOlls.-Cha-
mute Tribune
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16

If Mr.. Rockefeller is as good as he
has been painted, why is he SO anxious
to evade service when he is wanted to
tell a few things in court? Unless he
has some things to conceal, why should
not Mr.. Rockefeller be willing to an
swer uuestions2
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16

After February we viii probably be
spared the semi-monthly rumor OF
Miss Roosevelt's matrimoniaI. inten-
tons. followed by the usual neat and
fastv denial
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16
WHERE POsTALs ARE MADE.

From little town IN Maine, hunl-
ford Mills there goes out every day
two and a, half car loads of postal
cards to the various subagencies of
the United States. In four years the
company which has the contract for
making and printing the cards made
$500 million of them In testing the
sheets for flaws the sensitive fingers
of a score of girls trained in the busi-
ness is the. best and final test. They
every day reject scores of sheets which
the Workmen who use only the eye
have passed as fit. Many OF. the larger
Offices in the United States receive
their cards in car load shipments
lola Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16

Homer Hoch says he heard one Of the
best preachers in Marion swear the
other day, but he takes all the joy out
of it for the gossip by adding, but it
was before a notary"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16

The new president of the Mutual
receives only the same salary as the
president Of the United States, but this
doesn't necessarily indicate that he is
only one-third as capable as Mr.. Nc
Ctrrdv
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16

The North Pole hunters look with
scorn upon an explorer that cannot do
better than discover a Northwest Pass
age or a magnetic pole. A magnetic
pole, in their estimation, is only a base
imitation
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16

The federal grand jury win ask for
its discharge Saturday evening. Very
likely the cattle barons viii be willing
Tor il to cunt.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16

Things are looking dangerous for a
certain class of Kansas editors and poll
4icians since these rabbit canneries are
starting in Kansas.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16
ADVICE 10 COREY

They are having a great time in the
east over a high salaried man who is
deserving his wife for an actress. The
high salaried man should cut 1t out
and read the life of Nan Patterson
Council Grove Guard.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16
KANSAS COMAEE7


bTlAINNa "EJM OUEt OONIL 2 !.
A double comet has been discovered,
four degrees from the polar star, not
large in size, supposed to be near the
earth, and coming west. A double
comet has no terrors for Kansas, In
fact would be welcome. We are sim
ply rusting out for want Of some new
citement-Chanute Sun
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16

There Is one misfortune about the
new congress-it has so many mem
bers, who want to play to the galleries
and make names fer themselves, that
there will not be much time for the
needed gislation.-Parsons Eclipse.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16
A ESTION.

want a definition of the word graft, =
have asked Governor Folk. of Mis-
souri,. about it. Why not consult
Joseph Ralph Burton PEI Dorado
Republican,.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16

We now have a triumvirate of emil
nent philanthropists. Jondee Rookie
Teller, Mr. McCurdy and Thomas r.
Ryan. 1t isn't so very hard to be an
eminent phflanthropist when other
people furnish the money.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16

It seems to be as hard to convict a
iointist in Kansas City. Kan, as it is
in Wichita. AS a rule in such joint
cases it isn't so much question of the
defendants guilt as it is a question of
keeping the prosecution from proving it..
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16

Still. Kansas avenue is no worse than
some country roads in muddy weather
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16

1t seems that even the lower house OF
congress is getting up enough nerve 70
s'sass' the senate.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16

The state Journal is q member q 5 SalS
Assoclafed Press and receives the IulL cay
telegraph report OF that great news NJ vi
sanitation Tor exclusive evening puN~-
me State journal receives for exclusive
Bublics ton the leased wire report OF -. 80
Publishers Press Tor the edition 1oE Su-
Day morning. 80.
the news is received in the state jour
nal building over wires for this sole qua
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16

Anyway Mr.. Hartman doesn't try to
pose as a philanthropist.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16

Speaking Of wireless telegraphy' was
that Nantucket lightship saved by the
DeForrest or NIarcoui system?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16
AS EXCITING AS EVER.

our old friend, the Congressional
Record. is coming again and now
graces ouf exchange table. The Con-
gressionaf Records good for only two
purposes-insonlhia ana fuel.-Holton
Signal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16
Teaching Him to Re Honest

Fifteen or twenty years ago Bill
Smith was a we'll Known character in a
Missouri town whose name need not be
mentioned here. Bill was q. colored
boy who roamed the streets at will.
One day he found a pocketbook con-
tanning $40, and the owners name was
stamped on the book. But Bill burned
the pocketbook ana spent the $40 in
rtotous living. OF course. it WIS found
out, and Bill was arrested, tried. and
found bully, and sent to the peniten-
tiary for two years. He served his
time, and when he emerged he knew
something about making shoes. The
day he returned to his home town an
old acquaintance met him and asked:
well. what did they put you at in
the prison, Bill2"
"Dey started in to make an honest
boy out'n me, sah.'
That's good. Bill and I hope they
succeeded
''Dey did, sah.''
And how did they teach you to be
honest, BiH?"
''Dey done put me in de shoe shop,
sab, mailing pasteboard onter shoes To-
soles, sab. The Commoner.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-16

Senator Elkins favors the Roosevelt
plan of regulating the railroads, pro-
to put in a lot of legal side tracks,
Parsons Sun.