The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-02

lures u Tun OF TWO, swept w tue uVNlt
set up the belstead anew and IN thirty
minutes from the beginning was look,
ting around saying to himself:
There I've got this room all done.
ltn be cooler and healthier with the
carpet up. and 50 won't mind that.
Four days TO clean house! | wonder
what Mrs. Bowser could have been
thinking off,
There were three bedrooms upstairs,
and an hour and half finished them.
In taking down the curtains from the
windows OF the last room Mr., Bowser
and the stepladder went over In COM
pany. and he was sitting up and rub
hing the back of his head and seeing
stars when the cook came running up
to ask:
"Will veg give me one minutes
warning before I'm TO be scattered TO
all eternityY
"Nobody's going TO eternity" he re-
piled as he tried TO smile.
Then what was that crash, like a
thousand oxen falling OF haystack
How many times, may ask. can yea
fall like that and not bring the house
down wild yezf'
Didn't tell you not to mind few
crashesy' hotly replied Mr.. Bowser,
I'm running this thing. and II you get
hurt I'm good to pay all damages. Get
down TO your work"
Cooky reluctantly descended the
stairs, and Ave minutes later the light.
ming house cleaner descended 10 the
parlor. There was grin OF anticipa-
ton on his face as he looked around
him. Here was real house cleaning
and no make believe. All the damage
be had done upstairs was 10 break q
pane Of glass, knock the corner OF a
picture frame and lose two casters
from the dresser, but here!
He began on the front parlor. Down
came the curtains and portieres, the
chairs and sofa went a-skittering. the
pictures came of the walls with a
whew, and before his back could begin
TO ache all the rugs were out Of the
back window. 1t was truly lightning
transformation scene. He had called
for a feather ruster and dust rag
and after devoting five minutes to rest
be mounted the stepladder and began
to dust. He wanted TO leave nothing
for Mrs. Bowser's critical eye TO find
fault with. He had famed along the
ceiling a few feet with the duster when
be overbalanced himself as he reached
He knew he was going. but he was
helpless, except to yell He uttered
one shriek-a shrek that lifted cooky
below him a foot high as she ironed
away.-and then there came the SOUND
Of q thunderous crash.
Tell me, is II slaughtered ye areY
demanded Jane from the foot Of the
stairs.
No answer
as the missus to come home and
and yez dead and buriedT
Not a leaf stirred
Mrs. Bowser had been at the churcf
for about two hours when lady llylnl
In the neighborhood Of her house ar
rived TO say:
$50 you've got Mr.. Bowser at tn
house cleaning, have your
BLESS you. MOI"
4 But just as / left my house he wa
fiInging rugs and things cut OF tn
window. Perhaps he's moving"
Mrs. Bowser started for home a
once with a great fear in her heart
and she was still half block ava,
when she saw the cook at the gate.
IT'S lyin' crushed strawberry he II
num-" was James greeting. Don
lay It to me, for did my best to max
him behave himself"
How did 1t happenT'
HE comes home as soon as 20
leaves and starts In to play thunde
and lightning with the house cleaning
There was one crash that only brok
his back and sivin ribs, but whin tn
next one came he didn't have time {
say goodby to you"
Mr.. Bowser smelled camphor an
opened bis eyes. An hour had passet
Mrs. Bowser, the cook, the cat and tn
family doctor were gathered aroun
him.
"He livesw said the cook, as she 81,
his eyes open.
"He is coming tor whispered Mr.
Bowser.
"Of course" added the doctor. ''Th
only way TO kill jackass is TO let tn
whole range OF Catskill mountains ia
on him at once"
Then Mr. Bowser closed his eye
again and seemed TO sleep, but dow
In his heart he knew that he woul
demand aud secure terrible revenp
before morning dawned again.
NJ QUAD.