The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1905-03-11
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Humorous

s5 ~ AIS you sure you love me for
myself alonef Held you think /
loved You for your mother -somer.
willie Journal.
"Mr. and Mrs. Nuhride have 1oined
the church" why not? Turn about's
fair play; didn't the church join them?''
Philadelphia Press.
Lady--Did you ever feel as though
you'd like to work? Tramp-Yes'm.
wouldn't mind being lineman for a
wireless telegraph company.-Iudge.
"Brainlelgh tells me he is writing
popular novel," eyes, his doctors
insisted on his resting his mind for
While!'--New Orleans Times Demo
erat.
He Got It: The Woman--No, can't
give you meal. The Tramp didn't
think you could, mum; you look too
young and inexperienced to know how
to cook.-New York Sun. s4@ .a u
Church, see the Attorney General
is going to stop all this guessing bust
ness in the newspapers. Gotham
Whom do you suppose that's aimed
att The weather bureau?-Yonkers
Statesman. sas.s,sr., .s...,... g. -
Lucky Stars: give had very sue
cessful season." said the prosperous
looking theatrical manager. "Well,
You can thank your stars for that" re-
piled the seedy-looking manager
Yonkers Statesman. ..
He-Do you remember your old
school friend, Sophy Smythe2 She
Yes, indeed, do. A most absurd-look-
ing thing. So silly, too! What became
Of her? He-Oh, nothing. ONLY
married her.-Boston Globe.
Mamma-Fighting again, Willie?
Didn't tell you to stop and count
one hundred whenever you were an
CRY? Willie-But it didn't do any
good, ma. Look what the Jones boy
did while counted!-Harper's Bazaar.
Cholly-So Miss Tartum loosened up
and said good word about me, did
she? Archie-Yes; she said that when
one got better acquainted with you
one found you were not half as big
fool as you appeared to be.-Chicago
Tribune.
One Advantages: Rimer-Do you
really prefer to have long poems sent
in to you rather than short ones? Edi-
tor-Yes. When they're long, you see,
l don't have to think up any other
excuse for rejecting them.-Philadel-
phia Press.
II don't believe the woman who re-
Gently moved into the fat across the
hall Is any better than she should be"
remarked Mrs. Naggsby. "Of course
not, my DEAR" rejoined Naggsby; "who
ever heard of a woman that wasT'-
st. Louis Star.
Miss Plane-Yes, Tom proposed last
night, and / accepted him. See this
ring Miss Wise-Indeed2@ By the
way, dear, don't attempt to cut glass
with that diamond, as 1 did, or you'll
make another nick in the stone.-Phil-
adelphia Press.
The Child-Aunt Mary, nurse says
when it thunders, it's the Lord scoldin'
us. Aunt Mary-Perhaps 1t Is, dear.
The Child-Well don't see what he's
got to be SO mad about. Use done
everything to-day 'cept brush my teef.-
Brooklyn Life.
Wife-Henry, what makes you in
such q furious temper Husband-Tm
trying to read a Scotch dialect story.
Tho plot is fearfully exciting, but I
can't hurdle over the language fast
enough to keep up with the hero!-'
Detroit Free Press.
Rural Adorer (bashfully)-You didn't
20 to Mile Meadows party. Don't
you like kissin' games? Pretty Maid
No, 1 don't. Rural Adorer weakly
Why don't you? Pretty Maid (encour-
agingly)-Cause there's so many look
in on.-New York Weekly.
He reading about the latest society
weddlng)-They have a lot to say
about what the bride wears. but they
have nothing to say about the poor
bridegroom. She-They have no need
to. because it is a well-known fact
that he usually wears a worried look.
Boston Globe.
Madame lin busy street in Paris)-
oh, M. rAgent, is it true that 1t Is
dangerous to stand with the foot on
the electric tramline? M. rAgent-No,
madame, it is not dangerous so long
as you do not stand with one foot on
the line and the other on the overhead
wire.-Pick Me Up.
Miss Flyrty-Jack Hanson was tell
ing me about a romantic adventure he
had at the party last night. 1t seems
he bumped into a girl in dark hall
way and kissed her; and he doesn't
know yet Miss Elders-Oh! tee
hee! That was I. Miss Flyrty-What?
oh, for goodness sake, don't tell him
now. Let him have his romance
Philadelphia Press.
Miss Hoamley-Didn't you hear Miss
Knox tell me yesterday that l was 1.-The
homeliest girl in our set?' Miss Good
ley-Yes, the hateful thing! l gave
her a piece of my mind about it after
ward Miss Hoamley-Ohl did YOU?