The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-09-24
"MARM" SPOONOVER BROKE UP THE CAME Ben Spoonover's Hard Luck in
 Arkansas City HAD TO SELL FAMILY COW With Stake Thus Obtained He Stood Good Chance to Trim up-river
 "Yap" When "Marm"
 Started Trouble.
From the Washington Post.

From the Washington Post.
 'Stands to reason a woman wouldn't be a woman f there was any way to get outen it." said old man Greenhut. "an there ain't nobody got any call for to blame 'em, s fur's I can see, fr bein what the good Lord meant 'em to be- 'Tain't every tree c'n grow straight. Some on em is crooked naturally thout- en any fault O their own.
 An likely the world d be mighty sight diff rent from what it is if there want no crooked trees. An similar, if there ant no women. Pears like there was room for improvement, but what is to be arays has been an likely t afays will be.
 "Bein' as there is women, they has to be took into account. O course, an if a man cd reckon on 'em somehow. any how. there wouldn't be so much trouble. You c'n take a mule an work with him fir a few years an by the time he's got middle-aged you c'n most gen'ly tell sometimes whether he's goin to kick, or balk. or lay down, or go on with his work when you lam him with stick, but woman is diff rent.
 There is them that don't think so. I've saw men t reckned they know'd somepin about woman after they'd been mar ried to her thirty or forty years.
 Anyways, they'd make bets whether shed lay down an cry or lambaste 'em with a rollin' pin or somepin' when they d got home just after daylight, tofable well loaded. Ben Spoonover was one O them kind. Spoonover useter say:
 T c'n tell to a dot what my old wo- .lA aryt,x ftt,.r ont Af hn hnx Stands to reason t I'd oughter.
 Hadn't I been hltched fir nigh thir- ty year now, an didn't she start in to keep me guessin? But l begin right with her.
 CT ain't no hand for to beat wo- man. Pears like tain't just decent like. But I locked her up O couple O times an let her know there want no hog an hominy comin' her way till she cooled off.
 !" Pears like it's most amazin how a man c'n keep order in his fambly when he's firm an gentle, that way 'I ain't sayin' but Spoonover was right. There ain't no tellin' what Marm Spoon- over thought ha' turned out to be If Ben had ha' been any ways slack. AIS I know is t she were a holy terror when she want quite pleased with anythin' Ben were a doin
 What come night ben' the crownin' manifestation O woman's wrath come to pass in my back room one night when Ben were in there a workin for the well fare O the community, along with some O the other responsible citizens of Ar kansas City, an doin' of 1t at tn ex- pense of a yap t come here f'm up the river somewheres, with more money II was good fir his health, n wrong idee O what he c'n do at draw poker Things was goin' on swmmin, when it happened Feared like there was a good chanst O gettin' together enough loose change outen the side kitty for to send the yap home on the next boat, when Marm Spoonover bust into the room sudden.
 That there side kitty were a idee t Joe Bassett an me worked out one Sun day long O so many subscriptions bein' took up, odd times, for to send strangers home a'ter they'd gone broke into a lit- tie game O draw, an so savin' 'em f'm the modification O bein' a charge onto the town,
 Zoe, he says: 'Greenhut, do you know, I've been thinldn' a lot about this here subscription business. The boys don't like 1t.
 "'Taint like it'd be if somebody we knowed was in trouble. They wouldn't none on em mind chippn' in 8 dollar or two in case it was that.
 |" But after you've toiled hard fir your money an won 1t by the sweat O your brow. 1t comes hard to give it back to the feller that had 1t in the first place an had ought for to have bought his own ticket back home when he had it.
 Then I says: Well, Joe, that sounds right, but we can't have these yaps layin' round town when they're broke. It don't look we'll an it costs more in the long run. Whatn we do?'
 An Joe says: T reckon we'd better start a little side kitty f'r local charities. he says, 'an' let Jake Winterbottom run it. It'd oughter be easy fir him to see t the bulk on it comes from what pots the stranger may happen to pull in, an, workin' in that way, t won't come hard on nobody, an the feller'n get away just the same
 "We reckoned that were a torable slick idee, an we talked 1t over some. Win terbottom an Pearsall they seen right away how val'able it d be, an they