The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-27

Casey-Phat a lot av railroad wrecks an
Hogan-Begobss yis! Yez how to die ear
" or yell be kilti-Harper's Bazaar,
you're dreadfuliy untidy again. Mary!
I don't know what the baker viii think
= ."fhe baker don't matter, m. The milk
mans bint''-Puneh
How long does it take to ennDty this
hali?n asked the lecturer, looking about
the auditorium.
Il don't know exactly" replied the jan
itor; but if you wish when you begin
1ecturing. I'll time 'era. ''-Xonkers States
man.
shorte-Chugger is just carried away
with his automobile
sharpe-Yes; and were it not for Hank
Hibbley and his two horses he wouldn't
be back for several days.-Judge-
BiH-Did Phil contribute to the evenings
Jiii-No, he went in on a free pass
Yonkers Statesman
They tell me the noblenlan that Estelle
married hasn't any money
Dealer.
There's nothing harder than getting
Yes there is
Getting into one. Detroit Free Press
Insurance Agent-The company I repre-
sent has undivided profits OF more than
The Wary One-Directors waiting for
the clouds to roll by. eh2-PucIE.
Citiman-Now that you're living in the
country don't you miss the early morning
noise and hustle of the city?
subbubs-I DO if I miss the 6;S4 train
Philadelphia Press.
Two men were talking about neigh
ks.rs p
when one exclaimed. ''Why, he's 80 all
fred stingy that he won't laugh at joke
unless it's at somebody's else expense. -
Brooklyn Life.
Visitor Ito farmers boy in the aeld)-
Digging potatoes, Ell?
Farmers Boy-Yep.
yisltor-And. what do you get for dig
Farmers Boy-Nawthin'. But I git
somsthi fer net diSg5nF e 6l,a vo get
farmers oy-Tlioked.-Judse.
NINE
Same thing; in need."-Philadelpaia
Press.
Mrs. De Fashion Cat children's party)
Nurse Girl-Yes. rna'an1
Mrs. De Fashion-It's time for us to go
home. Which of these children is miner
sox-Has your young brother made up
his mind what he wants to 6o2
Fox-Not yet; but I think he would like
the position Of special adviser to a lady's
golS club-Judge.
Aren't you ashamed to swear at that
mule in that manner?" asked the respect
YES answered the driver but amt
as 'smamed as ! would be to swear at a
golf bail or an asutomo5iile or something
I've at least got an object in view
Washington Etar.
Il want to do great thingsi'' exclaimed
the AMBITIOUS young man to the cid
hnaneier. How. sir, would you advise
ITO begin with" drawled the elderly
millionaire. calmly, II would advise you
first to accomplish something small -
Titewood-I thought you. said you. would
gal question I asked you.
lawyer didn't. I charged you for the
answer.-Cleveland Leader.
Teaeher-vhy is representation called
Dunee-Because it takes a person so
long to say it.-Meu and Women.
The desperate man. weary of life. open
and threw himself out.
He landed on top of a load of mattresses
I happened
| driving along at the moment.
Hang the lucki' he exclaimed. as he
rose to his feet. shook himself. and found
/ he was practically uninjured. Il might
have known this would be the resist Of
/ jumping from the thirteenth floor. Chi
cago Tribune.
Mike" said Flooding Pete. as he climb
/ ed into freight car I'm glad de gov
eminent .1111ss1t q. doesn't own de railroads"
Because when we takes a free ride now
/ de worst dat happens is to be put on. But
| if de government was runnin' de trains
| we'd be arrested fer graftin' sure
| Washington Star
Hes q pretty fast young man. isn't
the speed limit without the aid Of an sI-
4 tomobile.' Chicago Reeord-Herald.
pop"
Yes, my SON
a liqueur, my son. is a cordial smi1e''
! -Yonkers Statesman
How many times has your husband
been under the lSnife2
Dear me. I don't know: but he's be-
| come so accustomed to n that he lies
a doctor. Chicago Record-Heraid - 7s7'
What's his occuDatfon1,
4 in that's the president of a big life inslir-
ance company. Chicago Tribune.
Money is the root of all evil" quoted
| the wise Guy
That's right agreed the Simple Mug.
I'VE either have too much Of it for our
own good or too little Philadelphia
! Record
Il wish, madam. you would not inter-
rupt me every time I try to say some
/ thing Do ever break in while you are
talking7"
mo, you brute, you go to sleep..-Lon-
! don Punch.
AIamma--9e has no vices Of any kind;
! MS ch1aIaeter IS Hawiess Why don't you
Daughter-But. mamma, if would be so