The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1905-03-15

!. :. !. J. :. ]. !. . !.
E hH&.yA One Of them Is the
E}S6EF0S banner scholar in
the Sunday school
class. The other
~ Sunday the topic
~ OF the lesson was
& ~ something about
w the publican and
the sinner and the
/ teacher asked the members Of the
class to tell what publican was and
what a sinner was.
! Every member OF the class funked and
SHE'D at the question except the banner
youngster: ne wasn't going 10 be frozen
out and upon being asked to explain the
matter said: Well my pa is a Publ
can and the man who lives next door Is
Democrat-guess he's the sinner, all right.
all right"
There is a well known designer here in
our city who is indeed q wit. He was
local restaurant not long since and the
discussion drifted TO children. One OF the
party turned 10 the designer, whom he
knew intimately and could therefore be
excused for what might perhaps. on the
face OF things seem TO he "a little too out
spoken. and said: Talking about chill
dren--well Mr.. - YOU have two or
three mighty fine lookers--both the boys
and girls. and you're not so particularly
! handsome yourself"
moment-only a moment--and Mr..
- responded:
"weI. you know. my friend, I'm de-
| signer!
Isn't It funny how a loving wife can so
utterly rattle her husband until he feels
like bent copper. friend Of mine
was telling me how his wife explained
a sudden illness Of his 10 a party Of her
| friends at dinner the other evening.
Telling about the attack of her hus-
band. she said: why, why. for a while
Jack suffered simply awful pain, but after
a while he eased down q BIT and got better
and then do YOU know. he became so
quiet that ! thought he was dead. and
then. do you know. dears. / was afraid
to even touch him, for fear he would
wake up"
Think this over.
| Now. honestly. wouldn't that explsna-
! tion make a good house broken husband
shiver?
/ An Official Of the Union railroad. so the
story goes. was recently passenger on
car journeying In the vicinity Of Cat
/ swamp Always looking ont for the well
! fare of the company. he noticed that the
motorman had run past a woman stand
( Ing at a white post and who evidently
wanted 10 board the car. The official,
thinking both Of the nickel fare that the
= COMPANY -hadlnst tand-alSn-t that II WAS
right and proper that the motormah should
stop when signaed went 10 the forward
vestibule and began 10 expostulate with
him.
or course this distracted the motor
mans attention from his duty. but the
car kept moving Just the same All OF
I n sudden 20 The Growler was told. an
other car going in the opposite direction
appeared around the corner and the result
was what might have been expected.
/ head on collision. One woman. II II
said was rather badly injured. and
number Of others shaken UP.
/ I've noticed a lot Of times that suggest
( i've little sign of warning Don't talk 10
I the motorman" and II would seem that
! " It is a good order It should have been
/ obeyed bv the official who while
he was conscientiously endeevoring 10
| remedy wrong. caused a more serious
| one.
There IL an old darkey who runs
barber shop I'm little town not very
/ far from Providence The darkey is of
] the old schooi-that IL 10 say he II one
/ OF the relics OF slavery time. having moved
north shortly after the close Of the war.
| lie Is white haired now and his hand
] trembles little. but his old customers
don't forsake him even II they 40 run
\ risk OF getting u slight cut at times.
| lie is gallant IL the old uncle. and when
- stranger enters his shop his gallantry
/ Is emphasized The other day an elderly
\ stranger entered and took seat Ia the
chair and old UNCLE began to lather his
/ face. AZ the same time noting that n was
\ powerful fine nornin'. sab" After
/ few moments ~ short talk old uncle said !:
/ " Deed sah do YOU know YOU remin'
me YER much of Gen'ri Jackson. sah.
uster shave him befo' de war. sab. Yes,
sah you do remin' me mighty much like
Genril Jackson"
Il remind YOU Of General Jacksonr'
asked the elderly customer. why. how
Is that7"
Deed I doan' know. ssh. hut you do
sah"
We'll there must be some reason for
st. General Jackson was n big man and
I'm small lie had beard and have
a smooth face"
Oats right sahyou am right You
do differ IN dcse y ints sait but yeu do
, remin me 81 him. sah-ceme to think 81
a. ! reckon Il must be YOUR breath.
TEDDY SAWYER