Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-06-17

Not to put too fine a point on 1t, I'm an
awful ass Really. that's true. Every one
says so-that is, almost every one Fifth
sons of ears are expected to be keen at
something, for when one makes his own
way he must be keen at something, you
know. I'm not keen at anything. really.
now
l was no good for the army, no good for
the navy. good for the church; hadn't 1t
in to make a barrister, and after the
four professions had been thought of for me
and tried and 1 was found wanting the
pater threw up his hands. So he gave me
ten thousand to go away somewhere. It's
rather inconvenient to be an earls son and
an honorable and all that sort of thing and
not to have money. Oh, my aunt don't you
know?
So | took the pater's ten thou. and came
to America. Extraordinary country, take
my word. But then here 1t doesn't really
matter whether ones an earl's son or not, If
one doesn't play the fool and let the cat out
OF the bag l didn't play the fool that way;
but did in other ways, and lost something
like three of the ten thou. Then had left
about thirty-five thou. in American dollars.
l met a chap--rather decent sort, and re-
lated to the Pelhams-who was ranching in
Texas somewhere, and he gave me a tip
that there was good chance for a fellow
at that sort of thing. And he said that
there was a fellow who had a ranch near
him who would sell for about what d got.
This chap gave me his address and the ad-
dresS of the fellow who wanted to sell, and
invited me to come to Texas
The more | thought 1t over the more
thought the idea good. So two weeks
after this chap left-his name was Drayton,
and the name of the railroad station was
Tulon-I made up my mind to go, too. So
/ arranged with the Southern Pacific rail-
road for q ticket to this Tulcn, and l went
You see, this Tulon was only watering
stauon-or whatever they called the places
where the trains stop for water-and WASH t
regular stopping place for the train. l
quilted the express at San Antonio, Tex,
and took the local, which was to go by Tu-
lon. and told the guard l wanted to get off
there. Then l went to sleep, and when 1
woke up there was that bally guard stand
ing over and grinning.
He said: Didn't cha wanter gettoff at
Tulon?" And 1 said: why, yes, of
course"
Then he said-silly ass: Sorry, but l
guess It's my fault. We jest past Tulon,
and / clean forgot all about you. Guess I'll
have to let you off at Gerono. That's 'nuth-
Ell waterin stop"
He jerked the belI-pull, and presently the
train slowed up. l was rather angry and 1
told the guard what l thought of him. and
IL wasn't anything complimentary. But he
only grinned and said there was no use in
crying over split milk, or something to that
effect, and didn't seem to realize that he
had made a very serious error. Really, he
hardly seemed to care at all. Most straor-
binary country this America.
Then he said: Got any baggage?' by
which the fool meant luggage. and I gave
him my checks. He gave them back and
said to go to the luggage van when the train
stopped and get them. Then he said: Get
move on, now. We're slowing up
got my traps together Ny aunt what
lot of them there were to carry. There
were two Gladstones, a portmanteau a
handbag, a hatbox, a guncase and a bun
die of fishing tackle The negro porter
helped me to carry them out to little
boarded station place where there was just
a little hut marked ''Gerono." Then the
luggage porters heaved out my two trunks
and the guard yelled out: 'All aboard,'
and the train started off and left me there,
all alone, by George, with never a person