The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1905-02-03

Juggs-You amt the only man that
gets frightened at his own shadow
Chicago Journal.
Jiggs-Every time l go along this
road at night | am startled. by the APP
partition of jackass.
He (fervently)-I would go through
anything for you. She (sweetly)-
Well-er-let's begin on your bank &C.
count-Puck.
my sister sings II Trovatore' in
five sharps." Mine sang it in six
flats, but they made her move out Of
every one of them. Judge.
Mrs. Dearborn-Did you say that
lady and gentleman were distantly re-
lated? Mrs. Wabash-Yes, they're
Acknowledgements Statesman.
In Utah.-Client-Ca you reveal to
me the likeness of the woman | am
going to marry? Medium can give
you composite photograph.-Lif
what did your property in Swamp
hurst cost you? -Four dollars
foot" "What1l you sell for?" "Oh.
I'll let it go for So a gallon. Phil
adelphia Press.
Mrs. Tufty-Didnt Mrs. Green leave
her card? The New Maid-Yes m,
she lef' it, an l had to chase her two
blocks to give it back to her-Phila-
delphia Inquirer.
Hoax-Joblots has gone into the
clothing business. Joax-He ought to
do well. There's money in clothes.
Hoax-There's never any in mine
Philadelphia Record.
Hans, how long have you been mar
ried?" We'll, dis is ting that l sell
dom don't like to talk about, but ven
does, it seems so long as it never
as."-Chicago Tribune.
Strange" murmured the man,
chat | have no appetite for breakfast.
Here I've only eaten an ordinary meal.
And me to be hung this morning, too"
Louisville Courier-Journal
There's victory in the air!" said the
enthusiastic man. YES" answered
The cool, calculating politician. 1T is
In the air, all right The thing for us
to do is to land t."-Washington Star.
Mrs. Brown-Our friend Mrs. Wood
by doesn't seem to be popular at the
Van Astorbilts nowadays-Mrs. NAL
aprop-No; | believe she's been per-
son au gratin there for some time
Philadelphia Press.
Passenger-This train is nearly one
hour behind time, is it not? Guard
Yes; but that's all right Well get in
in the usual time. Passenger-What
time is that? Guard-Two hours late.
Glasgow Evening Times.
He-Do you remember your old
school friend, Sophy Smythe? She
Yes, indeed, l do. A most absurd
looking thing So silly, too! What
became Of her? He-Oh, nothing. On
ly-I married her.-Punch.
Irving Boothe-Do you not think
that my performance here tonight will
be benefit to your town? Mrs. Casey
Sure; it's brought me good luck al
ready l sold out all me rotten fruit
before noon time today.-Life.
"How's the earth divided?" asked a
pompous examiner who had already
worn out the patience of the class. "By
earthquakes" replied one boy, after
which the examiner found that he had
had enough of that class.-New York
er.
"You don't belong to one of the old
est families, do you?" said the super
n
Cumrox; but after we get the girls
married we expect to have several of
the oldest families belonging to u.s.
Washington Star.
"You must remember her. intro,
duced you at my AT Home" You
introduced me to SO many people, how
can remember" but she was wear
ing" describes the costume min
utely). ooh. was that she? OF course
remember her perfectly! Punch.
do you think it is better to lie on
the right side or the left side?" asked
II have found, my friend, that it Of
the man who is fussy about his health.
ten pays to lie on both Sides" replied
the fat man with the silk hat, for he
was a practical northumberland
Tribune.
Hes boasting that he's got a
'sinecure' What does that means"
asked Mrs. Browne. "Oh" replied
Mrs. Malaprop, that means he thinks
everybodys lookiin' at him. Didn't
you never hear tell of person bein
the sinecure of all eyes? "-Philadel-
D-1ao