Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1905-07-26


is she sentimental" very! She
VIII even weep over her old divorce
ers."-Judge.
Hew1tt-How many meals did you
nave ON the voyage. Jewett-Gross or
net?-Brooklyn Life.
1T seems Woody has discovered
that he has a family tree" yes, it's
an outgrowth Of his successful bust
ness plant"
SO the lawyers got most ali the
estate. Did Ethel get anythlng7~
oh, yes. She got one of the law
yers. Judge.
Employer Ito new office boy)-Has
the cashier told you what you are to
90 this afternoon. Office boy-Yes.
sir; I'm to wake him when see Won
coming.-Scraps.
Mag,strate-Yo say your machine
was beyond your control. Chauneur-
Yes, your honor. II could have con-
troiled 1t the cop wouldn't have caught
me.-New York Mail.
Poet see you accepted one Of my
poems and refused the other. Editor
Yes; took one of them out of SYM
pathy Tor you, and refused the other
out OF sympathy for the publlc.-Ex.
George certainly is man OF ac-
ton" What has he done?" "why,
the very next day after the heiress
accepted him he gave up his job at
the bank and Joined the Don't Worry
Club"
You'll take couple of tickets, Of
course. We're getting up a rattle for
a poor cripple in our neighborhood-'',
None for me, thank you. wouldn't
know what to do with a poor cripple
If Won him."
We'll" asked the architect who had
been commissioned to make set of
plans for New York hotel, show do
you like them?" "They won't do.
You have provided for only six differ
ent kinds Of dining-rooms.
Kind lady-You can get work beat
Ing carpets two doors from here-they
are cleaning house. Homeless Holmes
Thanks, mum. mighter bumped
right inter it IL youse hadn't warned
me. I'll steer clear of 1t, mum-Cleve-
land Leader.
Jones Ito Brown, who has been re-
lating his wonderful adventures in
Russia)-And suppose you visited
the great steppes of Russia? Brown
l should rather think so. And walked
up every blessed one of them on my
hands and knees.
Office boy-Miss Keyes, please let
me look at your face? Miss Keyes-
What for? Office boy-Why, the boss
said some of the paint was scratched
off his typewriter. didn't know
whether he meant you or the ma.
chine.-Chicago News.
The three-year-old daughter Of
leading minister resents too great
familiarity. A few evenings ago,
though she seemed little unwilling,
caller took her upon his lap, where
upon she said with great gravity: II
want to sit In my own lap
Mabel not in her first youth)-First
of all he held my hand and told my
fortune; and then, Evie, he gazed into
my face ever so long and said he could
read my thoughts! Wasn't that clever
Of him, dear? Evie-Oh, suppose he
read between the lines, darling
Punch.
what did you discuss at your IL
brary club this afternoon, dear?''
asked the husband In the evening.
Let me see," murmured his wife:
"oh, yes remember now. Why, we
discussed that woman who recently
moved into the house across the street,
and Longfellow."-Ex.
Pausing uncertainty before desk !.
In the big insurance Office. the Hiber-
MAN visitor said to the clerk: "Oi
want to TEX out pawlicy." Life,
fire or mariner" drawled the dapper
clerk with infinite sarcasm. "Al three.
Dim thinkin'," retorted the applicant:
"Orm goin' fer stoker in tn navy"
Puck.
Mrs. Younglove-Our cook says
those eggs you sent yesterday were
ancient. Grocer-Very sorry, ma'am.
They were the best we could get. You
see, all the young chickens were killed
off for the holiday trade, so the old
hens are the only ones left to do the
layin'. Mrs. Younglove-Oh. to be
sure OF course. l hadn't thought Of
that.-Chicago Record Herald.
New England Justice.
Ebenezer Smell, the grandfather,