The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1905-07-14
FACTS ABOUT KISSING
! japanese and South Sea Is1anders Only
Nations Not to Indulge.

japanese and South Sea Islanders Only
Nations Not to Indulge.
kissing Is a science. convention,
an chronological trait. and many other
things. says the London Free Lance.
This Is not very clear, but those who
have endeavored to explain all that
underlies it have written bulky vol
umes sufficient in themselves to fill
the shelf of a fair sized library.
Mr.. Squeers' educational method
was, as every student of Dickens
knows. at once direct and uneQuivo-
cal. He didn't bother about books or
professional disQuisitions. To such OF
his pupils as had an inquiring mind
on the subject his injunction was:
Learn to spell it, and then go and do
it, and then you'll know all about it!'
A process which, if Mr.. Squeers' pu-
pills grew up as all other people grow
up, they would undoubtedly exploit.
At the tender period at which the adj
vice was received the trouble involved
in the spelling was probably far great
err than the after demonstration Of the
effect.
But kissing is not always unattend-
ed with danger. In the year 1887, the
year Of Queen Fictoria's accession.
Thomas Savuland was ungallant
enough to bring an action against
Miss Caroline Neuton for having Bit
ten a piece out of his nose when he
attempted to kiss her for joke. The
judge held that he tried to kiss her in
earnest and laid it down as definite
ruling that when a man kisses a wom-
an against her will she is fully entitled
to bite his nose If she pleases."
This ruling stands, and so those who
have not yet learned that kissing Is no
joke had better be wary of their noses
A dictionary has defined kiss as
"a pressure Of the mouth against tho
accurate.
1t would be just as satisfactory to
define picture as "a pressure Of paint
against canvas" 1t leaves untouched
the whole indefinable pleasure Of kiss
ing, the fact that it is indefinable be-
ing perhaps its best excuse, as it 10
Mr.. Squeers' justification.
Our allies, the japanese, share with
the South Sea islanders the unique
distinction Of being the only nations to
whom kissing is unknown. If, how
ever, the new treaty leads to much
practical intercourse, it 10 fairly cer>
tain that Jack ashore Tin Japan Will
teach the gedsha how much they have
yet to learn.
1t is almost impossible to subdivide
the various kisses which one is obliged
to give in ones lifetime, all Of which
are very different from the kiss ono
gives ones best girl.
You are bound to kiss your maiden
aunt or your mother-in-law or your
friends new baby. There are kisses
which you give, well, because you have
to, and kisses which you give as you
cast bread on the waters, hoping that
they will return to you after as few
days as possible and not in kind.
The Romans had three kinds Of kiss
es, which they termed oscula, basia
and suavia. Martial, when he return
ed to Rome after few years alb
sence, was so deluged with f'suavix''
that he wrote furious epigrams about
them to stem the flood of admirers.
Lieutenant Hobson. in our times, was
almost similarly overwhelmed. In the
German dictionaries there are defini-
tons Of some thirty different sorts Of
kisses, in addition to the world wide
"liebes kuss," which every one, ex-
cept the Japs and the South Sea ISL
anders, fall into the habit Of givine
and taking quite easily.
Another kiss, which one might call
the diplomatic kiss, is reserved almost
exclusively for royalties. This is al
ways seized on by the illustrated pa
pers as good pictorial copy, but tho
artist has not yet been caught who
managed to invest the function with
that ideality which would successfully
hide its clumsiness.