Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1905-08-07

rs she sentimental?" VERY! She
Will even weep over her old divorce
papers. Judge.
Hewitt-How many meals did YOU
have on the voyage. Jewett-Gross or
net?-Brooklyn Life.
1t seems Woody has discovered
that he has family tree" Yes. it's
an outgrowth of his successful bust
ness plant"
so the lawyers got most all the
estate. Did Ethel get anything p
"Oh. yes. She got one of the law
yers." -Judge.
Employer Ito new office boy)-Has
the cashier told you what you are to
do this afternoon. Office boy-Yes,
sir; I'm to wake him when l see you
coming.-Scraps.
Magistrate-You say your machine
was beyond your control. Chauffeur
Yes. your honor II l could have con-
trolled 1t the cop wouldn't have caught
me.-New York Mail.
Poet-I see you accepted one Of my
poems and refused the other. Editor
Yes; l took one Of them out Of sym
pathy for you, and refused the other
out of sympathy for the public.-Ex.
George certainly is man of ac-
ton" What has he done" "Why,
the very next day after the heiress
accepted him he gave up his job at
the bank and Joined the Don't Worry
Club"
You'll take a couple of tickets, of
| course. We're getting up rattle for
poor cripple In our neighborhood-"
None for me, thank you. l wouldn't
know what to do with poor cripple
IL won him."
WELL" asked the architect who had
been commissioned to make set Of
plans for New York hotel, "how do
you like them?" "rhey won't do
You have provided for only six differ.
ent kinds Of dining-rooms" -Ex.
Kind lady-You can get work beat
ing carpets two doors from here-they
are cleaning house. Homeless Holmes
Thanks, mum. l mighter bumped
right inter 1t If youse hadn't warned
me. III steer clear Of it, mum-Cleve-
land Leader.
Jones Ito Brown, who has been re-
lating his wonderful adventures in
Russla)-And l suppose you visited
the great steppes of Russia? Brown
I should rather think so. And walked
up every blessed one of them on my
hands and knees.
Office boy-Miss Keyes. please let
me look at your face? Miss Keyes-
What for? Office boy-Why, the boss
said some of the paint was scratched
off his typewriter. I didn't know
whether he meant you or the ma
chine.-Chicago News.
The three-year-old daughter Of
leading minister resents too great
familiarity. A few evenings ago,
though she seemed a little unwilling.
caller took her upon his lap, where
upon she said with great gravity: II
want to sit in my own lap"
Mabel mot in her first youth)-Flrst
Of all he held my hand and told my
fortune; and then, Evie, he gazed into
my face ever so long and said he could
read my thoughts! Wasn't that clever
of him, dear? Evie-Oh, l suppose he
read between the lines, darling
Punch.
what did you discuss at your H.
brary club this afternoon, dear?"
asked the husband in the evening.
LET me see," murmured his wife;
"oh, yes, l remember now. Why, we
discussed that woman who recently
moved into the house across the street,
and Longfellow."-Ex.
Pausing uncertainty before desk
in the big insurance Office, the Hiber
MAN visitor said to the clerk: "Oi
want to TEX out pawlicy." Life
fire or mariner" drawled the dapper
clerk with infinite sarcasm. "Al three
Dim thinkin'," retorted the applicant
"Orm goin' fer stoker in tn navy"
Puck.
Mrs. Younglove-Our cook says
those eggs you seht yesterday were
ancient. Grocer-Very sorry, ma'am.
They were the best we could get. You
see, all the young chickens were killed
of for the holiday trade, so the old
hens are the only ones left to do the
layin. Mrs. Younglove-Oh, to be
sure. or course. l hadn't thought of
that.-Chicago Record Herald
From Appearances.
When the six-year-old son was
taken in to see the new baby, says the '