davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-04-09
WILD-EYED MAN TELLS
HOW TO BEAT THE RACES

1.-The further west we go the greater
difference in time. If we go eight times
as far west as San Francisco we natu-
rally gain eight times three hours. or,
roughly speaking, a whole day.
but where Is eight times as far west
as San Francisco? Why, sir, It's all the
way round the world to New York again
The shabby man paused and drew back
to watch the effect.
"In other words" suggested the red
faced man, 'If you've been round the
world in the meantime today is really
yesterday"
Precisely. But to put it in more
practical way" continued the shabby man
in an impressive whisper IF you send
yourself telegram around the world,
westward, you'll get it the day before
you write it,"
But what has all this to do with beat
ing the races?" asked the man with
the white light district on his shirt front.
"Why, don't you see? Take today's list
of winners, for example. If I had the
money I'd Immediately telegraph it to a
friend of mine in Chicago. 'Twould reach
him an hour ago by Chicago time.
He'd wire 1t on to a friend in San
| Francisco. 'Twould reach there three
hours ago by Frisco time. The Frisco
man would cable it on to a friend IN
| Honolulu and SO on all the way round
| the globe until 1t had reached me again
| just "a hours before I'd sent 1t in the first
| place.
1.-The minute I received the telegram
| I'd start out to make the rounds OF all
| the pool rooms and back each winner for
all they'd take on him. After that 'twould
only be a matter of sitting down and
waiting until it was time to cash In
easy to be true. you think. Why don't
| keep such a good thing to myself. you
ask? Sir. 1t is with pain that ! confess
that I haven't even the entire amount OF
| the telegraph costs to say nothing Of the
amount necessary TO back the horses.
| 81 had hoped that you might take suffi-
cient interest In the scheme to furnish
| the backing, but since you still seem to
entertain some doubts. I'll tell you what
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-04-09
100 Yard Spool
Silk
Best Quality
&c

New York Cor. Chicago Inter-Ccean.
RED FACED MAN. whose clothes
n might have been rather loud If his
"A diamond shirt stud had given
them half a chance, stepped up to the
ticker in a Third avenue saloon the other
afternoon.
Anything from the last race YETI" he
asked.
The shabby, wild-eyed little man who
haa Inc tape passed it over to him.
After hurried glance the man behind
the shirt stud threw down the tape with
a growl of disgust.
ITS hard game to beat unless you
know how" sympathized the wild-eyed
man. There's only one really sure way.
Now, If / had the backing"
wiretapper. eh?'' ventured the req
faced man. Sorry, but I've got an i'm
portant date to meet a sick engineer over
in Jersey CITY,
The man with the untamed optics looked
hurt.
Come. come; I was only fooling." said
the red-faced man with winb at the
bartender. Come over to the table here
and tell me about it. What'n you haveY'
You seem like a man of education and
understanding" said the shabby one.
doubtfully taking seat at the table.
And since the fickleness of fortune rem
dered it imperative that l should share
my secret with some one, l don't know
that l could do better than confide 1t to
you beg pardon. Oh, whisky, please.
las you undoubtedly know" he contin-
ued when they had filed their glasses,
there is difference in time between
New York and Chicago Of about one hour.
That is to say, when it is o'clock here
1t is only oclock in Chicago.
I'm the same way in San Francisco.
which is three times as far west of us as
is Chicago, so that there is three hours
difference in time. That is, when 1t is
o'clock here it is only o'clock in San
Francisco. Do you follow me?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-04-09

We'll do. If you'll advance merely enough
to make up the costs of the telegraph
ing" the shabby man glanced at the %
cents change lying on the tabie-"about
% cents, say-Tll Immediately wire the
results of today's races around the world.
Then, If we get them in time to play
them it is agreed that you will furnish
the backing for tomorrow's races, all
profits to be equally divided Does that
seem fair?"
Perfectly" said the red-faced man,
showing over a quarter.
The shabby man, his eyes wilder than
ever, pocketed the money and started for
the door.
Hold on there" his patron called az
ter him. when will I meet you here?
Tomorrow afternoon"
BLESS me, mott" answered the shabby
man from the door. why, today's races
would be over by tomorrow. Make it
yesterday morning. I'll see you then.
Ta-ta."
well" murmured the red-faced man
when he had assured himself that his dia-
mond stud still shone for all from its
accustomed place, ut was worth quar-
ter, anyhow"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-04-09
For $2O.5O

A smart style Chiffon Taffeta Striped
Silk Suit, in all the new combination colors.
The waist is muchly plated with vest effect
Large sleeves, sherred at arm hole and cuff
Skirt is extra full and plated. Removal
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-04-09
Essays of Little Bobbie.
From the Milwaukee Sentinel.
BOOKKEEPERS.

BOOhhEEPEHS.
bookkeepers is men that started
that way and amt got nurv enuff to
change thare job.
In the morning they come to the
office before thare boss, and they take
the books and look to see how much
the boss has got coming to him and
the moar they see the better they feel
I doant know why beekaus thay only
git thare saim salary anyway.
my uncle is a bookkeeper, he gifts
ten a week and that's lots Of mummy
for him beekaus he amt got CURL
Pa says gurls doant go much on book
keepers thay wud rather have book
makers.
wuldent care to be a bookkeeper
beekaus | cant figger wary good but
| wud like to be circus actor and
turn summersets & I bet tbay wud
pay me moar mummy than if was
adding 2 G. 2.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-04-09
India Linens

of very sheer and fine
quality, 1873 to so per
cent less than regular
price. r e nova Sale
Prices as follows:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-04-09
WeStr17OreIand Sanitariur17
HUNTSVILLE, ALABAMA

Is slavery abolished?
No its worse now than
it ever was. Our best
and brightest men and
women are slaves to
the Whiskey and Nor
phine Habits. What
can be done to save
them? by $ 9 n d
them to WeStmore-
la n d s Sdnitdrium
where they can be
cured in a few days
and without suffering
Their fees are reason
is cured. Write them
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-04-09

Vulcan" the man who painted him Is
located at H9 N. 10th st. hermitage. Of
course.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-04-09

The Gawk Engraving Co. makes the
hest rrtr. Phone Peoples z76.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-04-09

they patient cured Write them
today full particulars All confidential Lock box
544, Huntsville Ala
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1905-06-02

Here Is a strange yet absolutely true
story, in which clock plays a mystic
rious part: It was a small American
timepiecc which stood on n mantel-
piece in a sitting room in a Liverpool
builders house. Att11:30 one morning
the timepiece fell from the mantelpiece
to the floor. When picked, up It was
found to be quite uninjured and still
going, as II nothing unusual had hap.
pened. There seemed to be absolutely
no reason whyit. should have fallen,
but mn hour later when the builder
came home to his midday meal he re-
marked that at II 80 he fell from the
top Of a building, but happily without
sustaining any injury. His, wife then
described how the clock had fallen ut
the same time, and the couple ponder
in vain over the curious and utterly
incxplicable coincidence. - Liverpool
Post. II e ~ So
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1905-06-02
The Toad.

The wonderful insect killing capacity
OF tile toad Is known In general way
to the enlightened few, says Country
Life In America. An imported colony
of toads may be the salvation of a
flower garden. Many gardeners give
their children a cent apiece for every
cutworm destroyed. From May / to
Aug. ! IL toad may destroy o,1G0 cut
worms. which 1t would cost $2l.G0 to
destroy by hand. English gardeners
are said TO pay as much as $25 a hun
dred for toads for colonlzlng purposes.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1905-06-02

We hear a great deal about the lux
ury ana extravaganza OF the age; but,
when. you think Of it, great many Of
our most reckless fashions date from
past centuries: In the fifteenth centu.
ry, for instance, the feminine ward.
robe was magnificent, with its gar.
.ments weighed down with laces aud
embroldcries in guipure, points coupcs,
Milanese and Venetian, not forgetting
the gold embroideries worked with pre-
clous stones, etc.
For several centuries women wore
white shoes In kid and ordinary leather
Us well as dainty chaussure in en-
broldered satin for, dancing the pavane
and minuet in. ":
In the; time Of Louis NV. the wo-
men wore most sumptuous lingerie
and dessous made .chie6yyof what used
to be called les dentelles d'ete, a kind
Of silk blond lace with a cord In It,
Which used to be mounted over colors
for the pettlcoats and was also worn
for the hanging sleeves which used to
show the arms so prettily.-Paris Fash.
ions. {,;4t NJ. d .,a b
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1905-06-02

Y "a ~ nt tsumHcsyeF. ~
4 ~ has always been said, how truly
ne do not positIyely know, that the
sbtntiower turns its face ever toward,
the sts;i TINT III bows d genial welcome
TO- Tie hing 81 day Wien that monarch
sfirstliitsf tile curtain 81 lislit and peeps
over the horizon upon IN ava kenlng
world, tands TINT 81; follows& the imperial
visitor In his maj march across
the heavens and mods d good night to
I him as he passes with his retlnpe. OF
golden beams and sllvery shadows be-
hind the western Slopes This. maybe
an exaggeration5 Of y the suntlower's
conduct but we believe itgisSatsleast
partially true, and that the Kansas
flower does respond In some degree TO
the. attractions OF the great luminary.
Anyhow, the thought. Of tits handsome
product of theS prairiess turning its
frank, open face ever toward the light
and responding to the ardent Twooing
of the sun with reciprocal affection Is
inspiring, isn't It? 1t lis a symbol Of
: the ideal esoul-the soul that. loves the
Hight, tint CLOVIS lin the presence Of
things that are lovely, { the receptive
soul the, soul that is responsive 10
truth and Deauty-inLa word, the sun
flowers soul.-Marion (kanJ Record.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1905-06-02

1.-THE people of Switzerland are very
graspins In their treatment ofvisltors."
says a man who has made a tour Of
that country. IF the hotel keeper
doesn't get all his money the, guide
takes what is left, anu If there should
happen to be a dollar or SO left after
they get through the little boys fix up
an artificial waterfall by putting II
board across a stream and when tour
lists happen along pull 1t away with u
string and expect the dollar in pay
ment."-Milwaukce Wisconsin. IS 3f.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1905-06-02
f.' r 81. 4rAfl 'FaHs .arI 81
Gilbert Of Colchester.

Gilbert of Colchester, who tlourishcd
three centuries ago, has been called the
founder Of the science Of electricity.
Gilbert discovered the augmentation
Of the power OF a loadstone by arming
or Gaping it with soft iron cheeks, the
screening effect Of q sheet Of iron, the
method Of magnetlzlng Iron by ham
nering 1t while it lies north and south,
the destruction Of magnetism by heat
and the existence around the magnet
Of q magnetic field. Generalizing from
small to large, he advanced the entire.
" novel Idea that the globe Of the earth
is itself q magnet. Y
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1905-06-02

Judge Kendall, Of Fairmont. de.
clared recently that mothers.in.law
are responsible for ninety per cent.
OF the divorces. Don't be surprised
il mothers.in-law are responsible for
the Judge getting sound flogging
some Of these days.-West Union
Record. 'fE'7;
There Is not much danger Of that.
The Judge is pretty long.legged, con.
sequently is likely to keep, ont Of
their way. Esy'
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1905-06-02

The Democratic papers of the Sec
sonds district are arguing that If Mr..
S y ttnSis elected 1t will be an indorsc-
menf of tax4reform. How foolish!
What effect would the election of
either Mr. Lakin or Col. Tom have on
Sthe neWSfax laws? They are here and
here stay. 1t will not be possible
TO set shut Of them during Governor
Dawson administration. and before
the end N hereof they will he SO popu.
lar among the people that no politi.
clan will 4 have the audacity to raise
4shis5 Dice against them. But the cleo.
lion ofs Mr. I1akin will be an indorse.
Sments EofS the news5tax laws 1t will
1l,es more than that Endorsement Of
the Republic party party which
had the courage TO give the people a
tax system IN The face of the opposI.
ton q every corpo tionj in the State
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1905-06-02
MORE BATIIEsAlpS
FORsTHE PHlLIPPlNEs

Nm "
WAsHINGToN \, q. b June ::S:5;s
Several times within the last two or
three months President Rooseyelt has
asked the Navy Department how long
IT. would require TO send twosbattles
ships from the North Atlantic coast
TO the Far East. Although It cannot,
:beflearnedS that any orders are imme.;
diately contemplated, Ut is a fact that
the question ofs Strengthening the
American naval force in the. Far
East has been carefully weighed. 1t
now consists Of, three Is battleships;
the Ohio, wisconsin II and b Oregon.
half a dozen protected cruisers, a
torpedo destroyer flotilla, three 3monl.
tors and5about, a two5dozen gunboats.
This is a force inferior to that! Of
Japan, to that Of Great Britain and
France. 81 4 ~. -,
Hitherto the principal drawback 10
maintaining large American feet in
the Orient has been the lack Of docs
ing facilities in the Philip
pines In the event ofR{swar1
in which the United States might5be
engaged in sAsiatic waters the $Ameri-
can ships would be dependent upon
| the 8frlendllness Of the. British author:
tiles at Hong Kong for a place to
dock.s 81! 5s,
One of the largest floating dry
docks in the world has been built for
the Navy Department by the Mary.
land Steel Company, at Sparrow's
Point, Nd, and after trial in Chesa.
peake Bay this summer, will be tow.
ed to olongapo, P. l., where 1T will
be able to quickly dock whole feet
Of battleships. K
The authorities Of the Navy De
partment are disincllned to send anS
more battleships to the Philippines
just now. There are now eight battle,
ships in the North Atlantic fleet
forming a complete tactical unit
which Rear Admiral Evans is loath
to see broken up to strengthen thu
Asiatic feet. .5s,.g
II any ships are sent out. to tho
Far East 1t is not unlikely that tlie
Oregon, now there, will be brought
home and two ships sent out which
would match the Ohio and the Wis
consln. The Maine and the Missouri
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1905-06-02
---f 80 y 4
Write for Booklet and terms. n
WALTER WALTER B.uzBY'.|

4
are sister ships of the Ohio, They
are the most modern American tbattle@
ships in commission. The Illinois and
Alabama would match the Wisconsllis
admirably and is thought that; iftts
felnforcements are desired, they
would probably be sent instead ofEtheS
Maine and the Missouri, which are
not SO well shaken down. Iy5 &
It sSnot because Of 3any indication
OF trouble In which the United States
may be involved that consideration
is given istrengthening g. the Asiat.5
ic fleet. Japan saasal force has been
materially augmented by the captures 81:
made by Togo. The Philippines are
the most valuable American 1lnsnlaIS
possession and It is deemed II advis.
able to have sufficient protecting
force near by on the same principle
that one who finds himself In a turbu.
lent neighborhood stands alert to pro-:
tect himself. RI y IS KS
Although no battleships could now.
be taken from the North Atlantic!
feet without breaking up the tactical
unit, they will within a year be COM
pleted three more battleships and
then the Asiatic force will surely be-
increased. The Nebraska, building
at Seattle, will be completed within
six or eight months. u NJ 3,3si
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1905-06-02
WOMEN ser FREE,
"a. -
Promised to Leave the Town, But
5 g5ii5ta Haven't Done So. !,

The two colored women who were
caught in a raid last week on Cherry
avenue, and who have served about
len days in default of the fine,s were
released yesterday and promised to
leave, the city They should hayc
gone on the early train to Morgan,
town, but failed to go. f,
Mike Mulvey was the other occr.
pant but he was placed out on The
streets to work and sometime yes
terday4 he vamoosed.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1905-06-02

Speaking of the Second district
Congressional contest, showing the
Republicans over, there the import
ance of going to the election next
Tuesday, the Wheeling Intelligence
Of today says: .5.5 i9.f
ut would be too bad II Republican
prosperity should keep any Republl.
can voter to his work and by his alb.
sence from the polls possibly cause
the defeat of the candidate who
stands for the principles that promote
prosperity, and the election Of the
candidate of the party Of free silver,
cheap wool, low wages and soup
houses. It is more probable that
while the voter has no time to stand
around and talk politics in these busy
Republican times, especially since
the campaign is logically quiet, that
he. will sacrifice few hours to make
Mr.. Lakin's majority satisfyingly
large" ! AZ 81
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1905-06-02

Tax Commissioner Dillon made a
great impression for fairness and
frankness in his argument before
Judge Mason yesterday. In his speech
he was more conservative than some
OF his colleagues, especially in admit.
ting that he did not believe back tax.
es for! five years could be collected on
leases.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1905-06-02

The Hon. la lorS Vinson, although
arguing against one of the provisions
of the new tax laws that for taxing
lsssehol ii occasion to say yes.
terdag that he Believed that our new
tax system, taken as a whole, would
prove to be the fairest, best, most
eqnitable and lust system that had
eyer been devised. Mr.. WILSON'S
opinion Is valuable on any subject.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1905-06-02
IT seems Is worry m RI, 4 the Democrats

seems to worry the Democrats
because Goyerno Dawson spent
few hours At MI. Lakin's headquart.
ers In Terra Alta last week. This is
not TO be wondered at, as the Demo,
Gratis have had considerable expert
ence with Nj. Dawson 4 in the past
quarter Of a century and5they5J know
what II means to be up against his
counsel s;i55s
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1905-06-02

We can not see how the papers Of
this State fall to understand the Fair
mont West Virginian In Its claim that
q State Senate Of one million, two
hundred and sforty.fiye thousand and
a half members would be harder to
buy up and corrupt, or corrupt and
buy up, whichever way it is, than one
OF twentyffiye orr misunderstanding
STATE Journal. hi
Some papers, like some people, can
not ind erstand anything, and others
are owned in such a waysi'that they
dos not have ito understand. II
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1905-06-02

Where has the editor of the Fair
mont West yirginian been all these
yearsa He appears not to recognize
the paramount Importance of baseball
over Vest Virginia State senates. He
Win have TO at least acknowledge this
much that base ball is played with or.
binary decency and fairness Parkers.
bnrg State Journal. rs;
We esitatingly acknowledge
that baseball is all right. s. Il
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1905-06-02

III. a,s ,,,s,. l,,,s;, ~, mi. ,yh,,
IA ~ M I'M m. 81, &. "a NJ
psrl sh,,rg Il, sSsi I & III 1 M
n I a, II 4 & N, ,sa " III s.
sisthn Pax ma e n n; enera charles.
~ Il Teter ows woeft,l ra,,ce 81
;nolItiea 8eond tfons n cert Il secti Ions
n XII state sw I I, NV, bo ot,s
inn; nrr.ea sinr II - q an h h II
STATS sena q Viii n,reyent ira *.
t,rn az son : = q. emt ~, Il nat body
,bara i M ing Ia y syveri
t ~ n, conI,ty We're entitled r. two sen.
s tors a. univ ore an IA karf co,,,d
not o. 4 ennbl,can or$ MIG = Z
yro,,n /, d ~ Il, q co,,r ~
~ % i, l. i m J. + irsd a.
sbal ,wo,ld never get 4 4 81 from Il a.
cnac,, co,nnt ~ /, IN ! Z av5aa, VIA
give FIN AN, bine ana 4. 4 a M
few n he = n,h,ica Ia !, orc sne, /.
,o III, him when & hey J. IN, m,eet in IN tha
roa are !, e I u 4 u J 4, : : own
wo,,,d he heard from, Z 4 oore foreyer
Il Georpe Gala s,iil ram 7 a,n "a IN ON.
Il Ne Ionht II he could 10 elec,ed IL
y / 4 2 ,ron raj o.o,r,y hec,,se
Z, q, X 81 :, /, ~ III, ,Sao !,
w;nt &, nc Ma 4 e ni;no md ,,cli
Thor. eeSr.af q III, ~ }Tv,ar nonu,ar fal.
~, 4, an {, t,orsa :, no,a,a 10
y Z = a. ,nt who's sn,eon,e tall.
"a "a Ia I II, ! + I'm Al etf,ov ,ast win ar
AZ ,sncc ,,1n r. his course IN tha Sen.
ata h no,es Tho fn,sn,1tch th,nrl t 1bbs1
1oLo cr,dar could ~ q No lc Coz, Z i !
~ ~ ,nv J MA "a alec from ,,h;o con,n,v
= /, docs th,rrS q q IL moro tban, an, ! !
ne ,, IN II 1ak,a.s,, ba,,,w,cr 10
r,rn,, ! /, 4 caor,e CHA ~, I war, !,
,d,esa,I nat ~ con,d ~ ~ the senate
from no 5;str,ct no hos ,,oan re MO
tins B J,,a would "a 4 ,r,,h il,
con s.a,nt ~ M pan,ub,,li,oo, Lao dove x,
wa knnow hou, nc 5,,nost - man az
towa,rrf, him with tban i, ,s-no kick
orc Z 81, ,a,;nnlv hance} ,he n,ena,o,
man mar, can ace that tbev w,,o,,,d fh,y,.,
4 bnt little nse FIR him n ia hari,,
nor 90 ~ ~ ment,on San Mont .o,,
arv preston county ,,tv 3i ala al, II cou,,
Last YEAR Ia keen him opt ~ Tho Son
ate and II It alone were entitled II !,
member iof that hodv be would he n,
last thing II would mink of electin,
=. sS- ss,ch b Witho,,t Going anv f,rtb.e,,
We We think we have shown that som,
very obiectionable men wonld he I Nor 3,
maanently retired from our ,er,slat,v,
halls nv giving each county two !,
swan swan ono s,,to sonsstor ana va ~ ~,
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1905-06-02
pnhnllllY.

Jack-l don't quite comprehend Miss
Smith. Tom--ln what respect? Jack
We'll, we were children together, and
here now Pm thlrty-two, and she's only.
twenty-five. Ton-You've lived faster
than she has. Jack-Thanks, old fel-.
low. guess that explains It.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1905-06-02

We have noticed through long
term Of years that only about one
newspaper in ten knows how to spell
the word benefited. We are prompt
ed to mention this fact by seeing It
mis-spelled in a paper published yes,
terday under the shadow Of the West
Virginia University eEs