The Tupelo journal. (Tupelo, Miss.) 1876-1924, 1905-09-15


Others, Not Yourself-Tact, Like
Charity, Should Begin at Home.
BY MARY TAYLOR ROSS.
Copyright, 1905, by Joseph b. Bowles.)
Sweetheart, thou art summers
day; summers day."
Extravagant words of lover? Yes
and yet, even her woman friends could
see that the smile was happy one
that the girl, with her tact and I'M
selfishness, a heart that must have
been full of the golden sunshine of a
summer day, deserved the actual words
of the lovers phrase, as well as the
love that prompted them.
Full of life, verve and sunshine. she
has been all her life, and now, after
long years as wife, she is still, to her
husband, and children, and friends
"a summers day." with her Midas
touch turning every commonplace hap
pening of everyday life into the gold
of happiness, and making everyone
who comes into her presence more sure
that life is worth the living, after all
Surely, the fairies were kind when
the little girl was born, for few OF us
possess naturally SO fine a gift OF tact
and graciousness, but this woman in
sists that the gift may be cultivated
if one cares enough to possess 1t. But
most of us go through life trying to
wrest from Fate by main strength the
gifts we would have kind fortune be-
stow; blindly selfish women fail to
realize that the strength OF woman
lies in graciousness, in a tact that will
make those around us strain every eff
fort to lay at our feet whatever we
wish to possess, and the girl who
wishes, as all womanly women must
wish, to possess the love of at least
one fine, manly man, must first begin
with herself, and deserve that love.
But, first of all, girl must under
stand that there is just one thing that
will keep her from acquiring the gift,
and that is selfishness.
Most unhappy of all the less desir-
able physical traits is selfishness, for
it generates an Indifference for any
thing but ones own comfort, that
makes it difficult for even those bound
by ties of blood to go on loving US,
and even though girl may possess
many charming traits that will at
tract love to her, the faculty of keep
ing hearts as well as winning them
cannot exist with selfish disposition.
A sympathy for the worlds sorrow,
q kindly desire to make the happiness
of those with whom we come in con-
tact either in our homes, in society,
or in the world of business, and a
wish to "be nice" to everyone, ignor-
ing the unpleasant traits nearly every
one has in a greater or less degree.
and recognizing only the better quail
tiles of our friends, is the first step
to attain the gift of graciousness.
There are those who think and
speak of the tactful, gracious woman
as wanting in strength of character,
else she could not be nice to every
one Or we belittle its presence by
saying: "Oh, that is her disposition;
it is natural for her to be pleasant
with everyone" But, since our every
act and thought makes for character,
either good Or bad, so the kindness
of the gracious woman, be it natural
or assumed, has it's sure and lasting
effect
The gracious woman sees only the
best in those with whom she comes
in contact, because we are prompted
to be at our best when in her presence;
our better nature is stimulated, and we
leave her with a more comfortable
feeling of our own worthiness.
There are girls who do not hesitate
to speak of tact as deceit-a kind of
hypocrisy. and it is sometimes diff
cult to tell just where the line may be
drawn-where tact leaves off and de-
ceit commences. But even so-a pleas
ing, harmless deceit is not to be es-
timated as wholly bad. The really gra-
cious and tactful woman does not rec
ognize only the good traits of friend,
and then, in that friends absence,
speak of the ignoble ones that may ex-
list. So far from speaking Of them,
she, even in her own heart, ignores
them, and, surely, the happiest people
in all the world are those who go
through life ignoring as much as may
be all unpleasant things, and setting
their faces resolutely toward the best
and most pleasing.
If one would acquire the gift of graz
ciousness, let her commence by cult
waiting a smiling expression-not a
distortion of the features and a loud
"ha-ha," but the suggestion of an up
ward tilt at the corners of the mouth.
and soft, smiling expression in the
eyes. The mere effort of replacing the
droop Of the mouth-which drOop is
almost invariably an indication of
selfshness-of brooding over troubles
and envying the possessions of others.
is sure to make the world seem pleas
ant. Few human beings can resist the
influence Of smile, and the girl who
acquires the habit of slightly fitting
the corners Of her mouth will soon find
that it has had an effect upon her dis
position. One instinctively thinks Of
pleasant things, and the eyes that al
ways look at the world through the
rose-colored medium of smile will
find it pretty good place to live in
after all
Then commence with the older geo
pie, and the very young ones Of your
acquaintance. Try to make the shy
boy or girl feel more comfortable by
saying something kindly, and show
ing an appreciation Of something in