The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-02-25
Humorous

your own meatT" "HumphF' said Ru.
dolph, who was saving away. "can,,
~ I've cut great deal tougher meat
than this at home"
Doctor-Ahl out for a constitution,
an She-Yes; walk two miles no.
iore breakfast every morning for nv
complexion. Doctor-Is the drug store
SO Tar as that?-Exchange.
Mr.. A. Chromo?-Mrs. Newricbe-
And who is this by? Picture Dealer
That is chrome. madam. Mrs
Newriche-Oh, yes, Of course it is
NOW that you mention it, I recognize
his style.
ooftleign--When I-aw-awsked her
fob her hand in mawriage her bwutal
rather thweatened to-aw-bwain me
doncher know. Miss Cutting-That's
Just like her father. He always was
fond Of Joke.-Chicago Daily News
Usual Invitation--A lady was asked
by another where she and her hus-
band had taken up their abode. ~Obp
she replied, I'VE are living by the
canal at present. We should be de.
lighted If you would drop in some even
ing"
A Proper Study.-Wall Street-So
your son is studying law. DO you ex-
pect that he will stick to it? specu-
lator-Oh, no; just want him to know
pnOuph about IL on tbo+ h. ,..;tt L., Ill.
to evade it successfully.-Detroit Free
Press.
A Fight in It.-"As Shakespeare
says" remarked Cassidy, who was
fond Of airing his book laruin' oc-
casionally, whats in manner"
"Well," replied Casey, "call me wan
that Oh don't like an Oi'n show ye."-
Philadelphia Press.
Bearitt-Things were awfully dull
on Change to-day. Absolutely moth
ing doing in stocks. The buyers and
sellers failed to get together. Mrs.
Bearitt-Why don't you mark some Of
the stock down and advertise a bar
gain sale?-Chicago News.
"Maude graduated from your cook
ing school last spring, didn't she?"
Eyes; but she's going to take post
graduate course this fall" Then she's
really going back to the school?7 "Oh,
no; she's to be married to a poor young
man."-Catholic Standard-Times.
A Real Curiosity.-That is a curious
looking cane, major" said the visitor.
"a memento of the war of the rebel
lion, l suppose?" Eyes, a Christmas
present." replied the old veteran. 1T
was made from the hollow log occu-
pied at the famous battle Of Bull
Run"
Lyles-Did you ever come across a
more conceited fellow than Bulger?
They say he is an atheist; and | be-
lieve he is. Bonter-I wouldn't like
to go so far as that; but l do know
that he doesn't recognize the exist
ence Of superior being.-Town and
Country.
The Strange Hen-You'd hardly be-
lieve it, ladies, but in that part Of
the country from which l came in
cubators are unknown. The Modern
Hen-Goodness gracious! l suppose
the simple-minded folk out that way
still believe that a hens sphere is her
nest.-Town Topics.
Directions for Use.-The inventor OF
new feeding bottle for infants sent
out the following among his direc-
tons for using: when the baby is
done drinking it must be unscrewed
and laid in cool place under the
hydrant. If the baby does not thrive
on fresh milk it should be boiled
Deacon Good-Don't you think it
cruel for you to draw fish out OF his
native element by a sharp iron hooks
Fisher Boy-It's no fault Of mine.
When I'm just giving a worm salt
water bath, what does fish want to
hook himself onto my line for? It's
no business Of his.-Boston Transcript.
Honest Policy.-An Irishman some
wears ago entered Mr.. Hanna's Office
took off his hat politely and said: The
ron of the mornin' to ye, Misther Han
ma I've been told ye're wantin' O.
helm" 81 have very little to do re-
nlied Mr.. Hanna, with a quiet smile OF
bumor .Then," said the Irishman,
"I,m the boy for yez. It's little care
about dom, sure; it's the money I'm
after"
Explanatory Observation-Disclosures
the colored washerwoman. was com
nlaining of her husbands health to
one of her patrons. He's vey poly
ma'am: ve'y poly. He's got dat ex'
cIamatory rheumatism" You mean
inf,ammatory, Martha. Explanatory
is from exclaim, which means to cry
ont" "Yes, miss" answered Martha
with conviction, "dat's what 1t Is lie
hollers all de time"
At a public school one of the boys
IN a class had committed some grave
infraction of discipline. The teacher
arnounced that he would thrash the
hole class il some one did not tell
him who had committed the offense
All were silent, and he began with
the first boy and thrashed everyone IN
the class until he finally reached the
LAST one. Then he said: Now II
Won will tell me who did this won
nnnish YOU" "All right, sir, | did it.