davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23
aAYaAWKER JOTs.

church.
Up at Concordia each daily paper is
trying to prove that the other is the
whisky organ"
A Jewell county man who went to
Canada came back as soon as possible.
He says in some parts of Canada they
do not raise anything and in the lest
the crops always get caught by the
frosts
Parsons is happy in the thought that
the Katy" is 'cOntempla ting new
shops for that place, to cost over a mil
lion dollars. Parsons should not count
too much on 'Katy's' contemplations,
however. These women folks are
mighty tickle sometimes.
Just how Anna Carlson, of the Linds-
borg News. knows is not explained, as
she has been neither one, but Miss Carl
son is authority for the statement that
"a newly married woman is as proud
of her new name as is a little boy Of
his first pair of boots"
Judge Adna P Gristlebone. chief
inspector of the cinder beetle quaran-
tine, says the idea of enforcing the
prohibitory law is no recent thing"
chronicles Charlie Blakesley. He
says he is the only man who ever en-
forced the law in Leavenworth. When
I was chief of police in 1884 he says,
I compelled the saloons to close on
election day from 3:45 a. m, until
$50 q. m. The side doors as well as
the front doors were closed. It was
absolutely impossible for a. man to get
a drink unless he bought it. -
A real badger fight was pulled off
in Wichita a few days ago. A mamma
badger and two youngsters were on
exhibition in a drug store window.
During the night they broke loose and
hid among some boxes. Now it is ex-
tremely unpleasant to have a badger
nibble your legs now and then, and
the people in the store were kept
jumping in lively anticipation. The
colored janitor got nipped and imme-
diately left the townsite. A guar
anteed badger dog followed the jan
itor, and the little animal ruled the
store for a whole day.
During the recent Marquette tor
nadO that Methodist church and par
sonage were destroyed and all the
earthly possessions of the pastor, Rev.
A. n. Smith, were blown away. In
the wrecl1age of the church was found
a little collection basket. DR.. B. T.
Stauber, the presiding elder of the
Salina district is now taking that
basket around with him to various
points and is getting it filled for the
benefit of the family of Rev. Mr..
Smith. At Gypsum City over SAG was
placed in the basket. At Mentor
S13.76 was added to it. BY the time it
gets around it is hoped that the con-
tents of the basket will be sufficient
to purchase the minister's family a
new outfit of household goods.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23
ouAKER REFLECTTONs.

IFrom the Philadelphia Record.1
Some poker players are hot-headed,
and some have cold feet.
It takes a certain amount of push
even to operate an automobile
Even the picture dealer can't al
ways frame up d good excuse.
When the green goods man takes
counterfeit money it's queer combi-
nation.
The people who suffer from KEEP
tomania are willing to take anything
for it.
There is quite a difference between
being rich and having more money
than brains.
When a baseball pitcher gets his
bumps it doesn't do him any good to
consult a phrenologist.
When a young doctor calls three
time a day on a girl patlent she is
either very sick or very pretty.
A cyclone can sweep a whole town
away in less time than it takes a SER
want girl to sweep one room.
No, Maude, dear; there is no reason
why a person who has a cataract on
the eye should also suffer from water
on the BRAIN
Blobbs-'sE9ere' a doctor who saws
he has discovered a means whereby
we may live 500 years" Slobbs-
THAT'S a joke Blobbs-''P Perhaps.
Most jokes are that old"
''Give us this day our daily bread
Prayed Alice, wide awake
Then, turning to her mother, said:
why don't we ask for cake7''
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23
Frenzled FresIlness.

'Pop!"
Ne answer.
"Oh, popl"
Huh ?"
"Say. pop!'
''Well. what is t7''
what are cowboys?"
Men that herd wild cattle"
''Can they hear them far?"
Hear what p
1.-THE wild CATTLE"
'They don't hear them"
''Then they just hear a noise like
wild cattle -
mo. no, pol They see them-see a
herd of them"
1.-THE cowboys do?"
eyes"
why do they call them cowboys ?''
Because there are SO many cows
among them"
Among the boys?"
mo, among the cattle"
Silence.
''Say, pop!"
well, what?"
''Are there any boy COWS %
(Thud. milwaukee Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23
c. or o. THF rRoncH. >.

The ultra protectionists are in trou-
ble-trouble OF a serious sort. A Re-
publican president Of the United States
has inaugurated a policy hitherto un-
heard OF in America, a policy which
means a great setback for the stand
patters and one that win give renewed
energy to the advocates of tariff re-
vision.
Theodore Roosevelt has said in no
unmistakable terms. through his rep
resentatives, that he viii not allow the
United States government to be held
up by the protected trusts. but Will
purchase government supplies in the
markets Of the world where they can
be purchased cheapest.
Trusts which have had the advant-
age Of a protective tariff have habit
Of charging American people more
than they do those of other countries.
That is why the advocates of the
Iowa idea" have insisted on a revision
Of the tariff, removing it from trust
made goods-tariffs which have aided
greatly in building up the trusts and
which now enable them to rob the
American people by keeping out for
eign goods which might compete with
them.
An instance of this kind, and one
which assisted in bringing about
President Roosevelt's new policy. was
in the purchase of steel rails for use
by the government in Panama. The
export price charged by the steel trust
is $50 a ton, while the price charged
to American consumers is $2Ss a ton.
In other words, the steel trust will sell
rails to a little South American gov
eminent for $40 ton. but it insisted
on its home government-the one that
protects it-paying SIS a ton The
trust did not dream that the president
Of the United States would dare to buy
rails from any other manufacturer.
OF course there is a good profit on
the rails at $40 ton. but the pro
tective" tariff enables the trust to
charge s28 for rails in America. This
extra eight dollars is all velvet" It
amounts to forty per cent of the price
charged foreign consumers. 1t is this
extra profit of eight dollars a ton that
has helped build I'D the steel trust,
and the American people have been
robbed Just that amount.
Now President Roosevelt says that
the trusts must take their feet out of
the trough, Which IS very apt eX-
preston. He stated in his recent
speech at Denver that he did not pro-
pose to allow the government to be
held up in the construction of the
Panama canal, and this is one of the
things to which he evidently referred.
Secretary Taft reiterates this policy in
the strongest words possible. and he
says there viii absolutely be no back
ward step in 1t.
This means much more than merely
that the trusts must sell to the gov
eminent at the same prices they do to
foreign consumers. It means that the
American people now have their at
tention riveted to this robbery on the
part of the trusts, and the power of
the politicians whose sole influence in
politics has been their adherence to
the policy of protection will step down
and out The day of protection to
the trusts in the form of a tariff which
enables these monsters to rob those
who are protecting them must speed
iIv close.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23
WHO ARE .srHB pEOPrEe2

''There are none so blind as those
who won't see" Those who don't
want to see are generally looking the
wrong way. This seems to be the mat
ter with the Kansas City Journal,
which says:
You cannot run railroads as you
run private business. says Secretary
Taft; you must respond to the public
demand And the public demand, if it
may be determined by the protests of
commercial organizations Of many i'm
portant cities, is that the government
shall keep its hands off,
How many people do you know who
are demanding that the government
shall keep its hands of. with no effort
at regulating railroad rates or putting
a curb on them2 The Commercial
organizations" which the Journal re-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23
PHTrADFLPHTA,s LESSON.

One of the worst municipal out
RACES which has been perpetrated
lately was the action of the Philadel-
phia council a few nights ago in vot-
ing to lease to the United Gas I'm
provement company for seventy-fve
years the municipal gas plant for a
consideration of twenty-five million
dollars.
This looks like a great amount of
money, but when one considers that it
gives a gas monopoly in city of more
than a million inhabitants for three
generations. during which time the
city may grow to three or four times
it's present size, it can readily be seen
that the price paid was a mere pit
lance beside what the gas company
may make out Of it.
If hte city desired to again lease its
plant, another company made it a
far more advantageous offer, but the
members of the council evidently had
in view the one object of selling out
their city to this gas combine. The
combine is licensed to rob and plumber
the city for the next seventy-five
years.
Indignant citizens displayed hang
men ropes curing the cOuncll meet
ing, but without effect. The council
men knew what they were there for
and they did it.
This is the harvest the citizens of
Philadelphia are reaping for their
apathy in municipal politics hereto
fore. The good citizens have either
neglected the primaries or else have
voted as some ward boss directed.
The result is this sell-out. It ought
to be a warning to other municipali-
ties as well as a severe lesson to the
fJ4,oI-o~ rzffv-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23
THE EARLY FLY.

The early fly has just arrived,
But no one seems to welcome hinns
Instead, to tear him limb from limb.
He buzzes cheerfully around
As sociable as he can be,
But no one greets him with SMILE
Or shows the slightest sign of glee.
The early fly must think our hearts
Are very hard and cold ineeed.
His own heart, if he's sensitive
At ALL at times must really bleed,
TO think that he's been gone so long,
And no ones glad to see him back;
TO md Hhene'er he comes around,
His only. greeting is a Whack!
-SOmeryille Journal,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23
GLOBE SIGHTS.
rFrom the Atchison 81

From the AtchisOn Globe.
The poorest thing you can offer a
friend is an excuse.
Two things a man puts off: buying
a lot in cemetery and making a
will.
An Atchison gossip confesses that
she gets many of her best bits of
news in the cemetery.
A certain man in this vicinity has
a kin burden so heavy that his worst
enemies say, Poor DEVIL"
Hereafter when a New York man
stays out late, his wife Will imagine
he has been with Nan Patterson.
Every automobile owner should
take lessons in physical culture, in
order to be able to fight farmers.
A man doesn't mind flirting a little
tiny bit, but we would like to see the
man bold enough to fiirt with Nan
Patterson.
Peace in the Chicago strike is like
the woman whose train you are try
ing to meet: She is always coming on
the next one.
When there is a cyclone, it means
Mother Nature is cleaning house. she
is violent, but so are other women
house cleaners.
How is this for a Lovely Character?
An Atchison woman has named her
little daughter. for an old sweetheart
of her husbands.
A man was talking today and said.
All want in a man is a little COM
mon sense. Well, that is expecting
a good deaI-common sense.
A woman is very unfortunate II
she hasn't any dear friends in her
neighborhood. and is compelled when
she borrows to remember to pay it
back.
Joe Bowers was amused today by
the sight OF a green countryman on
| the streets you are as bad as I
am the countryulan said, when you
are in Chicago"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23

being destroyed. Under its branches
the Delaware and vVyandotte Indians
once made a treaty. and it was a
handsome tree The widow and her
daughter spent. one whole day in keep
ing off the vandals. When the wood
choppers tried to work they got in
their way SO that the choppers could
not do anything. The neighbors
brought the women their meals and
the next day an injunction was Sc
cured against the vandals to save the
tree.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23
Will PALAlER's de-.

When we retire" we do not intend
to sit in front of a grocery store and
white a stick. After taking time to
go a, ishing once in awhile, we intend
to raise plenty of fruit, a good garden,
a world of flowers, a few pigs, and put
in the rest of the time reading the pa
9ers and all the good books we have
been too busy to get around to. We
think an old man has a good time com
ing to him, and we intend to have 1t
as soon as we can get old enough
Te1vaI Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23
A MELANCHOLY ErWrs4

lis saddening indeed to view
rms world and its distress;
lis worse to think how much is due
10 downright careIessness.
DSSplte the papers which explain
HOW such things come to pass,
Again, again, and yet again.
Some one blows out tie gas
Who shall describe the ways Of Fame?
Mysterious are her rules
The same reward Fate oft viii claim
tor martyrs and for fools.
with some discretion let this life
Be nodded, as we pass.
It's fine to perish in he strife
But don't blow out the gas.
Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23
RESTRICTIONS OF a BACHELOR
IFron the New york Press.I

CFrona the New York Press.I
Business is being done by somebody
when you are not doing somebody.
It is a good deal cheaper to pay ALI
mony than to run two households.
A girl dances till her wedding day
and pays the piper the rest Of her life.
A boy thinks he has q lot Of trouble
in school till he comes out and gets
married.
A man can nearly always make his
wife believe he was working at the
Office late Il he brings her home a
bunch Of flowers.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23
The Russian Ambassador.

It is obviously the intent of the
Russian government to keep itself
represented in America by an anbas-
sador who is an expert in far eastern
politics. For seven years it has had
at Washington Count Cassini, one of
it's most experienced and astute diplo-
mats and the one who was foremost in
the efforts to secure for Russia ex-
elusive privileges and predominant in
f1uence in China It was. indeed,
Count Cassini's work at Pekin that
opened the present chapter in Russo
Chinese relations and led straight to
the viceroyalty of Admiral Alexien
and the serious complications which
have resulted from it. At Washington
Count Cassinf has served his sovereign
with indefatigable devotion and with
much efficiency, for which he is now
to be rewarded with promotion to the
Enthusiastically to Spain. He is to be
succeeded at washington by Baron
Rosen,. who is also an expert in Asian
affairs and has played an important
part in the promotion of Russian de-
signs in the far east.-New York Tri-
bune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23
nor ExPECTING N.

An Oklahoma paper received check
for 81. 600 from Carrie Nation because
it was run in a way to receive her en-
tire approval. Only three weeks ago
Carrie told the editor Of the Bee that
he is an anarchist because he runs t
Republican paper. This explains why
we shall not lay awake nights looking
for a mate to that 81, 900 check. We are
getting three meals a day anyway. Car
rie.-HutchinsOn Bee.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23

The real issue with a Philadelphia
councilman seems to be how to get the
Doodle. The interests of the people or
what the people think is a secondary
matter. Philadelphia has some cheap
frnitators too.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23
YEP

Governor Hanly, Of indiana, was IN
Topeka the other day and Of course
called on Governor Hoch. As the In
diana executive is reputed to be as
great 4 temperance crank, as Governor
Hoch, the presun1ptions are that the
usual North and South Carolina cour-
tesies were omitted.-Mi Minneapolis Mes
senger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23
KANSAS CoAl1rENr.
WARNING no THOMAS

" F-1t1NL ING 10 z E1O17LkAE5s
Mr. Lawson should understand. how
ever. that he must fight fair when he
comes to Ottawa NO such thing as
torturing the octopus merely for the
purpose Of seeing It squirm VIII be al
lowed from the assembly platform-Ot-
taWa Herald
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23

fers to are some that are controlled
by the railroad owners, who of course
do not want the government to say
anything about railroad rates. But
they do not happen to be the public"
Secretary Taft evidently sees and
hears a far different public demand"
from that heard by the Kansas City
Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23
vIEWs I1NCHANGED.

President Roosevelt comes from the
mountains and canyons, from the
haunts of bears, wolves, and bobcats,
to the habitation of his kind, with
views unchanged as to pre-eminent
and imminent public questions
Cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23
mOPERATIONS.

What an expressive word opera
ton is. The dishonest financier re-
fers to his stealings as operations,
While the same word covers the most
exquisite results of the surgeons skill
New York Commercial.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23

Perhaps Mission township thinks It
will get the Topeka-Councu Grove rail-
road anyway, and what's the use OF
paying for something that the promot-
ers cannot help giving to you. Posi-
bly, those who are behind the road may
have q. different idea in mind
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23
HOW THEY DID IT.

The newspapers are saying that the
packers fooled Commissioner GARFIELD
with their system of bookkeeping and
that when they showed up a profit of
less than one dollar per head for beeves
slaughtered they should have showed
up eight dollars per head. The infor-
nation is given out by one Of the COM
bine.-Kinsley Graphic.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23

AS a further indication that Governor
Hoch is at peace with all Quakers. is
the fact that he has accepted an invita-
ton to deliver the commencement ad-
dress at the Friends university at
wichita on June &
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23
DEACoN WALKER on CHARIT


MY friend, don't get the idea into
your head that you have to hang a sign
onto all Of your little acts of charity to
enable the Lord to see them. He is just
as apt to be looking when you give a
beggar a handout at your back door as
He is to be when you make a big -four
ish and sign your name to a paper CIV
ing a few dollars toward building new
church. If you had gone to Sunday
school as much as have you would
know that He sees the sparrow fall as
well as the hero die. You will ind that
on the Day of judgment the size of
your gifts viii cut very little figure. II
you have given a dime and it came
from the fullness of your heart without
a selfish motive, you need not be sur
prtsed if you find yourself sitting along
Side Of Carnegie, Rockefeller and a few
of the other big bugs. But If you gave
up your money for personal gain and
thought you were fooling the Lord, you
may find yourself working like blazes
ia company with the man who beat the
editor out of d few subscriptions. These
are things that win do you good to
think about a few times.-Osborne
Farmer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23

There is a woman down at Olathe
who is entitled to a medal. The mayor
issued an order that trees should be
cut down along a certain street, and
some workmen started in TO cut
down everything in sight, regardless
Of the wishes of the property owners.
Mrs. Jennie Baker, a widow. had a.
tree fifty years old in front OF her
place, and she protested against its
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23

state federation Of women's clubs Sa-
Ina win proceed with all confidence
with the plans for her new convention
hail. on the theory that them as has,
gits.-Ottawa Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23

Parents who encouraged and upheld
their children in the Chicago school
strike, were fined S25 each under the
truancy law. Next time they will use
a little strap oil perhaps instead of en-
enlargement on theft striking children.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23

At the winter palace there IS said
to be a nine-hole golf course, where
the car passes much of his time.
Here is the terrorist's opportunity. to
substitute a bomb for a golf ball.
Atlanta Constitution.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23
TORNADO NOTE.

Monday forenoon from almost a clear
sky the lightning struck the giant cot
tonwood south Of Bacon's house. The
sharp peel Of thunder startled every
body. That tree went down just ID
hours later in the center of the tornado.
The superstitious may figure this out
Ltndsborg News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23

What President Roosevelt thinks Of
the ability OF Judge Adams of St.
Louis is indicated by the fact that he
has promoted Judge Adams to the
bench of the Eighth federal circuit.
Judge Adams, you remember, is the
judge who presided at the Burton
trial
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23

Apropos the objection Of the Beef
Trust to the cheap detective meth
DDS" of the government in finding out
its secrets. it might be observed that
a criminal rarely approves the meth
DDS by which he is convicted and
q1unfshea
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23
DTsTuRRTNG GAIETY.

The Hindoos are celebrating Japan
csc victories and shouting Asia for
the Asiatics" In case Mr.. Bulls sym
pathy for Japan begins to Eane the
Japs should have little trouble in dis
covering why.-Chicago Record-Her-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-23

1t looks as though the Chicago
strikers are working more than eight
hours a day. The strike workers
union ought to look into this over
time business.