Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-11-12
VIEWS ON CITY
GOVERNMENT

| The City Discoverer was returning from
! one OF his long and ravorite rambles one
| afternoon last week when on a quiet street
in the outskirts OF the city he came upon a
| large imposing. black-bearded man OF fierce
| mien and martial appearance. who. as he
strolied along. glanced about him with every
appearance of interest.
Good evening" remarked the socially In
| ciined Discoverer. beaming on the stranger
through his goid-rimmed glasses II would
wager almost anything that this f. your
first visit to this city
You are right replied the imposing
| looking stranger. IN a deep voice
| And / would also wager that YOU are a
| foreigner" suggested the Discoverer with
| an ingratiating smile.
| Again you are correct" replied the stran-
| ger, with slight bow. Permit me TO COM
| pliment you
| II suppose you are here merely for pleas
| ure." suggested the Discoverer.
| ION this occasion you are wrong" said
the black-bearded man. with a pleasant
smile. Il am a student OF municipal gov
eminent. and / came here To study the sys-
| tenn by which this city IL ruled
| And what do you think of it?'' inquired
the Discoverer. with considerable pride in
| his tone. as he waited expectantly for an
| enthusiastic reply
| Very primitve-very primitive. indeed"
| replied the black bearded stranger, shaking
| his head in a puzzled fashion. why, was
| told at home that this city had n model
| form of government. and after making an
| inspection cannot understand how such an
| erroneous impression got abroad
| How do YOU figure that out?" INQUIRED
| the Discoverer In disappointed tone.
Most people think that this city is the best
| governed in"
| For instance" said the black bearded
| stranger. interrupting the Dlscoverer ''the
very day arrived In Washington I found
your principal street.-the avenue. believe
| IL is called-crowded with people. / in
! quired and found that several labor organi-
cations were parading."
| well. what of that?" asked the Discov-
| erer. in some wonder.
| The black bearded stranger shrugged his
| shoulders You jest. SIR he said Sure
| ". you can see the limitless possibilities for
disorder. riot and disaster that lay in that
| assemblage. Now. IL had been governor
| of this city"
what would you have done?" inquired
| the Discoverer with interest.
| 81 would have dispersed that crowd at
| once" the stranger replied.
| Goodness" said the Discoverer. with n
smile. II don't see what for. But suppose
| that they refused to dispense at the COM
| mand OF your police. what them"
| Then l would have had the cavalry
| charge them and kill few
| Heavens" cried the Discoverer in amaze
ment. you cannot be in earnest. Our peo-
| pie wouldn't stand that They would resist.
| and then what would you dor"
Very simple" replied the black bearded
| stranger. COMPRISING his lips firmly. In
| such an event / would order out all the
| troops in the city have dozen
| chine guns fired into the mob. give the SOL
| diers permission to loot. pilage and burn
( that section of the city, and to kill the chill
! dren and torture the men and women
| Mercy! cried the Discoverer. as he
stared at the black-bearded stranger with
| open mouth
| Did you see anything else about the city
| you think might be improved?" he inquired
| after pause.
| "A great many things" the stranger re-
| piled. For instance, IL appears to me that
| your papers have almost unlimited license.
| Why picked up one of them the other day
| and found that It referred to the ruler of
| this great land by the undignified appella-
| ton of Teddy and that it said his position
| on some matter Of state Importance
| senseless and ridiculous"
what would you have done in a case like
| THAR inquired the Discoverer.
Very simple the black-bearded stranger
| replied. Il would have had the editor-in-
| chief executed, the sub-editors transported
| for life, all other employees of the paper sent
| to prison for from two to twenty years and
| the building burned to the ground"
| Goodness cried the DiscoVerer, I'm hOr-
| ror, he stared once more at the black
| bearded stranger. Did you see anything
| else that you think might be improved
upon?" he inquired, after another period OF
| silence.
"Oh. yes" relied the black bearded stran-
ger, with a wave of his hand II should
| say did. While out walking Sunday your
| President pointed out TO me while on
| his way TO church. | noticed that as your
| ruler hurried along the unroped and unpro-
| tected streets n stranger crossed directly In
| front of him about two blocks away"
Il don't see anything wrong in that" said
! the Discoverer. in amaZement. What
| would you have done about IL II you had
| been In authority"
| Very simple" replied the black bearded
man, with frown. THE fmpolite and
gracious intruder should have been instantly
| killed. his family poisoned. his distant rela-
| tives imprisoned or transported the houses
on both sides of the street from the point
where your ruler stood when the affair
| Cured to the point two blocks away where
the citizen crossed in front of him burned
! to the ground. and the thoroughfare itself
| torn up and closed TO the public"
| Heavens cried the Discoverer, backing
| away from the black-bearded stranger.
| your views to the proper government
! of municipality are something remark
| able Won't you tell me who you are?'
Gen. Trepoff late military governor OF
| st. Petersburg" the black-bearded man re-
| piled.
THE newspaper accounts weren't the least
| bit exaggerated" said the Discoverer TO
| himself as he walked swiftly .homeward-
| Not the least bit. Who would have
| thought it,"
| RAIF0IR AND THE POOR.