Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1905-09-09


what it VASE" Eyes; his resignation. I"
Grit.
Il am looking for trouble" said the
caller. Il am sorry" replied the other.
but l have made 1t a rule never to
lend my auto. Houston Post.
IF YOU can't get along better with
your work l will have TO get another
girl Sure, nam, an l wish thot We
would-there is enough work here for
two. Grit.
Servant-If l might make so bold as
TO suggest, sir Irish Master Qrri-
tably)-We want none OF your sugges-
tons; we want nothing from you but
silence, and not much of that.
Lillian-Wasnt it sweet of your
husband to send you a kiss by wire?
Adele haven't decided yet; I'm sus-
ptcious that that telegraph operator
was woman.-Detroit Free Press.
Growell lin cheap restaurantl-Here.
waiter! Are these mutton or pork
chops? Walter-Can't you tell by the
tastef Growell--No. Waiter-Then
what difference does It make what
they are?-Illustrated Bits.
Mrs. Youngbride-I'v come to com
plain of that flour you sent me. Gro
cer-What was the matter with it7
| Mrs Nounghrde-It was tough.
made pie with it, and It was as much
as my husband could do TO cut It.
This said the city chap, who was
showing his rural relative the town.
| lis called the 'tenderloin' district"
why is 1t called that?" queried the
rural relative. Because IT is so tough"
explained the other.--Chlcago News.
Maudie Pa. win our new mamma
so mad after while? Father What
Il question, Why do you think such a
thing? Maudie Wen, heard her tell
the cook yesterday that she got badly
bitten when she married you!-Scis-
sors.
Father-Wcl Julia, II allow young
Smlthcrers to- become my son-in-law do
you suppose he will be willing to work
ana support you? Julia-Oh, papa.
how can he when he has promised 10
do nothing but think OF me all the
| time?
Mrs Neurich Jane. why do you al
| low the children to make 40 much
noise? The Nurse-I'm sorry. ma'Am.
but they won't mind me. Mrs. Neu-
rich-Of course not Why should
they? Don't pay you to mind Il NJ
Grit
Alice rushed in from the garden,
where she had been picking flowers.
She was badly stung by bee, and
was holding on to her finger and sob
bling pitifully "Oh, mamma" she
cried. Il burned me on bugH- Brook
Ign Life.
After the silence had begun TO he
awkward he cleared his throat, and
said: II don't think. Miss Dlmple-
| TON" "Oh. | know you don't" she
hastily replied, but II doesn't really
matter Isn't the moon just lovely to-
IghtT-Chcago Record Herald
A friend tells OF recent visit a
Senator made to church with one OF
his grandchildren. The little fellow
tried several times 10 talk, but was al
ways told he could not talk in churrh.
Then, grandpa" he begged, please
take off my shoes and let me move my
toes. Lipplncott's Magazine
when you know that man is a
devotee Of golf" said the enthusiastic
golfer you can be absolutely certain
of his mental callbre and be as
surcd ----" "Oh. come, | wouldn't say
That replied the plain man. u don't
doubt that some men play golf who
ARE really quite sensible" Phiiadci-
phia Press
The managing editor wheeled his
chair around and pushed n button in
the wall The person wanted entered.
Here" said the editor. are number
Of directions from outsiders as 10 the
best way 10 run "A newspaper See
that they are All carried ont" And
the Office boy. gathering them all into
large waste basket, did Wash
ingtou Life =
Good Society on the Farm-Mrs.
Waldo lof Ro7tou-I have letter
from your Uncle james. Penelope, who
wants me to spend the summer on his
farm. Penelope HubjousIyt-Is there
any society iu the u"lghhorhoodf Mrs.
WaIdo-ryc heard him speak Of the
IIolstclns ANA Gucruscys | presume