The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-01-30
RUmOR OF THE DAY.

HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Can You Guess It2-Mike-An' PLAT is it
Pat-shure. Oh can't reminder tn name
out av ye whether we've got it or not
Judge.
Popular Remedy.-Say, Colonel, what do
you take for the malaria. down here2
Whisky and quinine. sub
Well, suppose the remedy fails
I stop the quinine,
Daily News.
No Cause for Alarm.-Ardent Lover-It
is { secret, sir. but your daughter IS N
Mr.. BondsEWel. dent let yourself feel
any u~nsasiness, sir. ! am not Inc ieAo"
20 give her away.-Puck-
Mrs. Nuritch- want to get a pair OF
the most expensive gloves you got
C~ierk-Yes'm. How long do you want
Mrs. Nuritch-Don't be impudent. young
mann. 7 want to buy EN-, not hire en-
philadelphia Ledger
Too Generous--wiggins likes to hear
Yes Answered the sarcastic person,
on trying to share the luxury OF ms con
versatiOn with some one else washing
ton Star.
Sure way.-Ida- hear that Reginald's
uncle left him q fortune.
May-Yes; and I expect TO derive mucn
benefit from it.
LUA-LnG&EQ- AIQlIlk Il
May-No. I'm going to marry the altor-
uey that settled up the estate'-CnlcasO
Daily News.
His Sensitive spot-The Doetor-Yoq
don't like travelling on the carsE Wen !
enjoy it well enough, except ror the uuse
The Professor-cinders? Eye, There's
the rub--Chicago Tribune
More TroubIesome.-"Its pretty hard to
be worried by a lot of debts you cant
Nonsense! That's nothing to being
worried by a lot Of debts you Simply
have to pay."-Philadelphia Ledger.
The Kind We Read Of.-His Friend
i hen vf in SfSh l9Tsi e6? IN" who Ho'i is he?
The Forger-Well, I'd rather not tell you
Hes one Of those well known man who
prefer not to have their names used
More W0rk-"What's de reason you're
so fraid o. t~ravelin' in de mountains dis
summer" asked Meandering Mike.
to be 50 rarihed dat it's twice as much
work to breathe as it is furder down. =
Washington Star.
No Use.-we meet the extravagant wo-
man at the bargain counter. why 90
you spend SO much money. We ash.
thing for a rainy day?"
with a merry gurglee Of LAUGHTER she here re
plies; Goodness, no. never go sHop-
ping on rainy days!'DJudge-
"Bliggins says he is going to succeed in
keeping his last New Years resoluton
not to make any more New Years reso-
buttons. Washington Star.
Winie-~Teacher told US today that
there's a certain kind O tree that grows
out @ rocks, I cant rememPsr What i
uess."-Phiadelphia Ledger.
.Pop." yes. my SON" They have
Feeh aS,9l; for Teg ma RT so Giyil .eYsIi' pe1. o %hy !
d1etor s@ 3@y-YYomkers Statesman.
.Carrie-"I'ye got a dandy. idea for a
eietyy5l., Do You think INK It wqRld be %o, RGae; E
keep secrets; we'd swap them-'-Puek
Deacon Jones-"I have been losing lots
O. sleep during the past two months"
Friend-eYes I noticed you haint been
attending church much lately New Or
leans Tiems-Democrat-
Mrs. Borden-"But then. I suppose
Housekeeping is not without ITS annoy,
without them. You either have servant
girls or you Neutrality-suspicious. Press
Ner-.somebody told me today that
was handsome" Belle-"When was
that?'' Nell-"Today.' -BeleZ"No...
delphia Ledger
Mr.. stopIate-"Miss Clara, this has beer
one of the happiest days OF my life
Clara Bytum docking at the clOok)-''Dc
You refer t~o-er-MOnday or tuesday? p
Cleveland Leader
Game