davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11
WHAT He GETS

A gentleman with the barb-wire name
Of Dabatisl1i was refused naturaliza-
ton papers the other day because he
had never heard of the constitution of
the United States. Some people who
have heard of it and consider it a Sood
instrument to run through with an au-
tomobile are citizens. but Dab, etc,
must wait until somebody has tolS him
several things that it isn't which pop
ular superstition says it is and then he
can tell the judge and be handed in re-
turn the glorious privilege OF voting for
cago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11
q am wen. with kind regards.


The recipient, annoyed at having to
pay postal charges for such a piece of
news, determined to retaliate in kind.
Procuring a heavy stone, he packed it
in a box and sent it to His New York
friend. marking the box Collect onsde-
livery" The friend, believing the con-
tents to be valuable, gladly paid the
heavy express charges due. On open
ing the box, hef ound. to his dismay,
nothing but the stone and an attached
ticket. on which was written.
ION receiving the news that you
were well, the accompanying load
rolled off my heart. "-Harper's Week
w
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

sand dollars every nov an6 then as a
Legislative fund" it is not so much
of a mystery why members Of the Leg
islature, who have to borrow money to
pay their campaign expenses. are roll
ing in wealth after drawing their mu-
nificentl salaries at the end of iegls-
latsvess session.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

In the interest Of truth Charlie
Blakesley calls attention to the fact
that the dove cOlored spats F. Dumont
smith IS accused OF wearing since he
came home from Europe are not the
Same sDats that he had last winter
svi3h W. r. stubbs. There was moth
ing in the least resembling a dove
about those spats-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11
I'D o. KELLY.

Tom Kelley says that on the advice
back that $4,000 he wrongfulIy appro-
priated. Now, isn't that good of him.
We have begun to believe that Kelley
is really honest. Every time they
catch him short a few dollars, he is
ever ready to payit back You remem-
Der that is what he did IN the Miami
county deaL-MarysvilI Democrat.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11
HIS ReIirinn

Not long ago a certain clergyman
from the west was called to a church
in Jersey City Soon after his arrival,
the .divine's wife made the usual visits
to the members of the parish. One Of
these. a plumbers wife was asked BY
the good lady whether the family
were regular churchgoers, whereupOn
the wife of the plumber replied that
Will she and her children were attend
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11
COPYING KELLY.

Mr.. Stubs, determination to con-
duet his senatorial campaign by
stealth was doubtless reached after
consideration of how successfully Tom
Kelly worked Mr.. Stubs by keeping
him misinformed until a few weeks
ago as to what kind of a man Kelly
was Ottawa Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

The wife of g. J. DevIin, the man
down with him in recent failure, sold
a bunch of horses yesterday for 500
600. 1t is one of the funny things
that people whose failure leaves others
penniless, apparently are not a cent
poorer than before they failed.-Atchi-
son Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11
WORTHY or KEILY.

A Beloit man bought fine bulldog
to watch his premises. One night last
week a thief cut the rope off the porch
hammock and led the bull dog away
with it. Nothing has since been heard
of dog or thief That's a thief for
you with as much nerve as Tom Kelly.
Jewel Republican
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

After reading about King Alfonso's
love affairs Tom Cordry thinks the
Spaniards are having as much trouble
finding a bride for All as some of the
Kansas politicians are to find a candi-
date who will run against Governor
TT0ch
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

A back subscribed called the other
day, ran his hand into his pocket,
gave every indication that he was
about to fork over bright, silver dol
lar-and drew forth a match with
which to light his pipe=Cawker City
Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

1Ir. Rockefeller advises people to
turn their thoughts to higher things
than mere money getting. If MI.
Rockefeller thinks the people are go
eng to take that advice and leave the
Faeney getting all to him he is badly
---.s.a
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

The east is all stirred up now over
whether angels are masculine or fem
mime. IT is true that the Bible always
speaks of men angels. but out in the
wild and woolly west everybody knows
that the angels are women.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11
BUT NOT TWO-FACED.

No longer can it be charged that
President Roosevelt is a one-sided
man. He has given ample demonstra-
ton of the fact that he is two kinds
Of a hero.-St. Louis Globe-Democrat
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

If Mr.. z. H. Hartman, who is in
Japan and other Asiatic points, gets
the American papers, he is doubtless
extremely glad that he is something
like ten thousand miles away from that
insurance Investigation
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

So far none Of those insurance mag
mates have put up the excuse that
they took the money as a joke, al
though they undoubtedly had a good
deal Of fun with It.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11
WHFRE HE RFIONcs

The man who discovered how to own
automobiles on $500 a year has just
naturally been put in jail.-Richmond
es-Dispatch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11
ARE NOT THE BETTER CLASS.

Professor Baldwin at the Interna-
tional Prison congress recently sug-
gested that the better class of crini-
nails be allowed to wear masks when
compelled to parade or work in public.
This ought to mitigate the alarm of
Equitable swindlers at the thought OF
being set to break stone in stripes. APP
pearances are all they seemed to care
for--New York Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11
SATAN REBUKING sIN.

Perhaps me worst rebuke Russian
brutality has ever received came few
days ago in the protest from the I'M
speakable Turk from abdul the
Damned, as Mr.. Gladstone named him
for all time, against the massacre of
Armenians in the Caucasus.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11
BOUQUET FOR NELSON.

Frank Nelson, of Ltndsborg, will
doubtless be a candidate for the United
States senate Mr.. Nelson is a fine
man and would be a credit to the SEN
ate but he is not enough of a political
wire puller to land the pIace.-Great
Bend Register.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

Its a good thing there are not more
insurance companies TO be probed
Zach gets worse than the one be-
fore it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11
YET ARRIVED.

The CONGRATULATIONS sent to Presi-
dent Roosevelt by President Castro
seem to have been delayed in trans
missiOn.-Chicag Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

The State Journal is a member Of the
Associated Press and receives the fun day
telegraph report Of that great news or
3ariEaelon for exclusive evening public
cation iH Topeka.
The State Journal receives for exclusive
publication the leased wire report Of the
publishers Press for the edition for Sum
cay morning.
The news is received in the State Jour
nai building over wires for this sole pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

How thankful John r. Mccall mus
be that Webb McNsll is in the farming
business at present!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11
FROM OTHER PENS
HE WIIL SETTI.E m

Win It's present EXECUTIVE In power,
the country is not worrying much
about a coal strike.-Minneap Jour
nal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

The municipal campaign in New York
WIN not be close enough to be even in
terestiuE.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

The mutual pert of the New York
Mutual seems to have been confined
largely to the AIcCurdy family.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

seem TO be fairly honest when COM
pared with insurance presidents.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

Russia is talking about buying a new
navy, but she would better not: Japan
may be tempted to take it away from
her on the way home.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

Banker Dougherty of Peoria says his
troubles were brought on by the re-
form wave that is sweeping over the
country So were those of the insur-
ance grafters in New York and numer-
Gus boodling officials
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

In the absence Of any other use for
81 the washington Post can see that
the United States senate viii be very
useful for blaming things on to.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

Last weeks issue of Golfers Weekly
reproduces a patent medicine contract
which the Emporia Gazette once made
to carry a tWo-inch reader three. years
Sra its daily and weekly editions for
ninety dollars. Accompanying the
illustration is the Information that the
Gazette has cut out an patent medi-
cine advertising 1t is no wonder if all
1T had was al a rate like that.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

That young man who stole $s60,OO(
in New York as a ''joke" probably in
tended TO spend It in a joking way also
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

Those Wichita friends endorsed Gov
ernor Hoch's stand on prohibition, and
then they went further and asked him
TO stand hard enoush to enforce it in
rvsofssAa
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

Who" asks the lola Record,
handled the life Insurance Doodle for
Kansas % Some of the members of
the legisture are probably curious
about the same point.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

If Commissioner Garfield were to
examine the beef trust again, the
packing house magnates could prove
that their profits are less than ever
since they haze begun to charge up
fines to their cperatlng- expenses.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

The following story is told of a well-
known actor now playing in England:
Not long ago he received from a New
York friend an unpaid letter contain
message:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

since St has been learned that the big
insurance companies are accustomed to.
put up something like a hundred thou
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

Manchuria is hopeful that with the
advertising it has had it may get into
the real estate swim.-Wa shington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11
WII.I 80. PR0sECITE.

Jerome viii not run for mayor. Bad
news for the New York criminals
Chicago Record-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

Andrew Hamilton. the attorney who
handled the Legislative fund" for the
insurance companies, has decided to
stay in Europe awhile longer probably
to keep Statistician Hyde company.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

Washington was very enthusiastic
over the homecoming Of the presi-
dent. 1T might be noted that there
were no United states senators in
washington then
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

What did you do with all those unpaid
bills, Julia ?'
Il saw they were beginning to worry
you, dear, so destroyed them. Life.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

do you think it is honest for man to
accept money for a campaign fund.-
Why, yes answered Senator Sorghum,
eff he really turns it over to the fund
Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11
HVMOR OF THE Day

FRIEND understand that the people Of
charge of their new church Popular
Prea cher-''X Yes, there has been some
talk about it, but I'm not going. Don't
you think the Lord is calling you to this
new fields ?" -'Oh, no. If He were. He
bigger salary.'s-NeW York Weekly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

Elsie-Papa, I just hate history.
Papa-But you must keep at it, Elsie,
dear. I don't want you to turn out to be
a historical novelist.-Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

Bacon-Did your friend get in on the
ground foor2
Egbert-Oh, he must have got in lower
than that, for he said he found himself in
a hole.-Yonkers Statesman.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

Il always save money on hats said
Mrs. Wise.
''How's that2" inquired her friend
why, my husband has read so much
about the awful prices women pay for
them that it never occurs to him that I
could get one for half the moneyt'-De-
troit Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

Her Father-what are your prospects.
sir2
The Suitor (modestly)-I am fifth vice
president of the Brazen Assurance society.
Her Father-Well, you may come and
see me again, if the jury acquit you
Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

Sappy-It was-aw-really so annOying,you
know simply had to borrow a dollar
from that common fellow, Brightley, or
shouldn't have been able to get home.
Newitt-Ahl that's what BrIghtley meant
then when he told me you had more mon
ey than brains.-Philadelphi Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

Don't you love to stand on a bridge at
midnight?'' asked the soulful young thing
from Boston town.
Not if it's around the Chicago river,
replied the practical youth from the
Windy City. You are too liable TO be
held up.'s-Louisville Courier-J ournaI
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

In the absence of any other use for
it. the washington Post can see that
the United States senate viii be very
useful for blaming things on to.
ss==a==@
Those Wichita friends endorsed Gov
ernor Hoch's stand on prohibition, and
then they went further and asked him
TO stand hard enoush to enforce it in
Wiehsta.
So far none of those insurance mag
mates have put up the excuse that
they took the money as a joke, al
though they undoubtedly had a good
deal Of fun with t.
who asks the lola Record,
handled the life Insurance Doodle for
Kansas" Some of the members of
the legisture are probably curious
shout the same point.
@
washington was very enthusiastic
over the homecoming Of the presi-
dent. 1t might be noted that there
were no United states senators in
washington then.
Andrew Hamilton. the attorney who
handled the Legislative fund" for the
insurance COMPANIES has 4EEAIGQ ~
stay in Europe awhile longer. probably
to keep statistician Hyde company
If Commissioner Garfield were to
examine the beef trust again, the
packing house magnates could prove
that their profits are less than ever
since they haze begun to charge up
fines to their operating expenses.
Banker Doughertg of Peoria says his
troubles were brought on by the re-
form wave that is sweeping over the
country So were those of the insur-
ance grafters in New York and numer-
Gus boodhng officials.
ss@
If Mr.. z. H. Hartman, who is in
Japan and other Asiatic points, gets
the American papers, he is doubtless
extremely glad that he is something
like ten thousand miles away from that
Insurance Investigation.
=z=@Z@@
The east is all stirred up now over
whether angels are masculine or fem
mime. IT is true that the Bible always
speaks Of men angels, but out in the
wild and woolly west everybody knows
that the angels are women.
esesa
After reading about King Alfonso's
love affairs. Tom Cordry thinks the
spaniards are having as much trouble
finding a bride for All as some of the
Kansas politicians are to find a candi-
date who will run against Governor
IIoch.
1Ir. Rockefeller advises people to
turn their thoughts to higher things
than mere money. getting If MI.
Rockefeller thinks the people are go
RnE to take that advice and leave the
raoney getting all to him he is badly
cooled
Ia the interest OF truth Charlie
EIakesley calls attention to the fact
that the dove colored spats F. Dumont
smith IS accused OF wearing since he
came home from Europe are not the
same spats that he had last winter
svith W. r.. stubbs. There was moth
ing in the least resembling a dove
about those spats-
7ae=
Last weeks issue of Golfers Weekly
reproduces a patent medicine contract
evhich the Emporia Gazette once made
to carry tWo-inch reader three. years
Sra its daily and weekly editions for
ninety dollars. accompanying the
illustration is the Information that the
Gazette has cut out an patent medi-
cine advertising. 1t is no wonder if all
il had was al rate like that
since St has been learned that the big
Insurance companies are accustomed to
put up something like hundred thou
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-11

Fair Visitor-Here, my poor man. are
some roses for you. What can I do to
make you comfortable
Frisoner-Guess you're making a mis-
take, lady.
Fair Visitor-N1istake-h
Prisoner-I'm only here for poreh-eIimb-
in Yer'u find the guy that killed his wife
in tn mex cell.-Cleveland Leader
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-11-17
Arizona and Statehood.

To The Editor of The Star:
The head and front of the Joint state
hood movement, so far as New Mexico IS
concerned, exists in Albuquerque. and many
misrepresentation in regard to Arizona
emanate from there. I am Informed that
a large majority of the citizens OF New
Mexico outside of Albuquerque are opposed
to tointure, and that Albuquerque favors II
from purely selfish motives. Upon this,
however, I do not assume to be authority,
but | wish to deny most emphatically the
untruths that are being industrously cir
culated in regard to Arizona in order to
mislead and arouse prejudice in certain por-
tons of the east
1t has been loudly proclaimed by the
principal promoters Of the joint statehood
movement that Arizona is making des-
perate effort for admission as separate
state. This is absolutely untrue, and the
purpose of the falsehood is to alarm eastern
localities on the question of senatorial rep
resentation. Arizona is making no move
whatever for admission now either singly
or Jointly. and the people, while believing
themselves qualified for self-government,
prefer the territorial condition indefinitely
rathe than statehood joined with New
Mexico. 1t is also declared by pro-jonture
advocates that the only people in Arizona
opposed to the merger are interested cor
porations and corrupt politicians. AS
matter OF fact the corporations of the terri
tory, railroad and otherwise, never have
taken and are not now taking, any active
part either for or against statehood, single
or double and the handful of joint-state-
hood advocates can be appropriately
called corrupt politicians" as can any of
the large majority who oppose the proposed
legislation. Not more than half of one per
cent of the citizens of Arizona: favor
merger with New Mexico, and every county
and municipal government, every board
of trade. banking and bar association pub
lie institution, church and school have pro-
tested against what they believe would be
an outrage The citizens of every COM
munity in the territory have signed petit
tons against jointure with almost entire
unanimity, and the last territorial Iegisla-
ture unanimously passed resolutions of pro-
test. But three of the fiftyfour newspapers
in Arizona advocate joint statehood and
their influence is not great in the comnu-
mites where they are published.
I know The Star would not knowingly
publish any Misrepresentation in regard
to Arizona, nor any reflection upon her
people I have always found your paper
conservative and entirely reliable, and who
ever furnished the Information quoted in
the Albuquerque Journal whatever his sta
ton in life may be, distorted the facts and
was altogether mistaken in his statements.
l noticed that in reference to two citizens
of Arizona named in the article the name
and official designation of one and the DO
stion of the other had not been properly
stated
I feel 1t my duty to invite attention to
misstatements on a subject so vital to the
best interests of Arizona and the welfare
of her people. n. o. MURPHY.
Prescott, Ariz., November II, 1905.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-11-17
Cruelty to Animals.

To the Editor Of The Star:
F,or. wears. I have been an unwilling eye
witness to the fiendish crueltles accorded
dumb beasts that plod the streets OF WASH
ineton and, no longer passively observaT,
| desire to enter earnest protest against the
evil in the hope that something may be
done for its amelioration. | have seen I'M
patient and, l daresay, irresponsible back
men slash their horses repeatediy-n0t TO
saw Observation-Disclosures though quickly
and gallantiy recovering themselves. they
had rnomentarily lost their footing on the
slippery asphalt But even this seemed
cause sufficient to send the castGated and
bewildered animals on gallop down
crowded thoroughfares in and out among
the congested traffic At other times when
the streets have been covered as they are
annually with sheets of hardened, almost
indissoluble snow, affording the most peril
ous footing to both man and beast, | nave
seen other horses hitched to burdensome
loads .o!ling heroically, but travelling at
little more than a snatPs pace because the
shoes they wore We're smoother than the
ice on which they trod Every step might
have meant sudden fall. and not always
did the fallen escape unnurt-certalniy hot
unbeaten / know of no more pitiable sight
than Door accomplishing beast of bur
den Iaboring under such disadvanta ges-
straining and slipping along an such fash
aoQ 'ROuEh-ShOd they Hohiu nave DSSii
entirely immune from these difficulties and
dangers. OF course there is eXtenuatlon
for owners and drivers when surprised with
unexpected deseents of snow or sleet and
not given time to meet the emergency. But
when the streets have remained in a
treacherous state for days and weeks and
even months at a time and still no provis-
ion has been made for the comfort and
safety of horses, as is often the case, then
the neglect becomes wiIlful and inhumane.
/ have seen also, lame and diseased horses
and others bearing enormous sores on their
backs and shoulders, all unfit for work. but
being urged along our city streets as Vigor-
ously and unsparlngly as IL hale ana
hearty OF many cruebties | have witness
ed. one alone remains ever fresh in my
memory. About two years ago | saw the
negro driver of a coal cart snatch the
heavy end-gate from his wagon and Vicious
~ beiabor an unoffendlng brute; il had
shifted slightly during the process of UNI
loading. and I well remember the restraint
the incident cost me.
/ should like much to see public interest
awakened in this direction. An owner and
lover of horses, 1 am naturally jealous In
their behalf. However, / am sure there are
Westinghouse. who. knowing little OF the
horse and his idiosyncrasies, viii. II only
through purely humane impulse. Join with
me in depreciation of the widespread mai
treatment of the equine.