Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-05-01

morning, said To his wife:
My dear. I'll not De home to din
!:"r tonight. and Vou had better not 81;
| up for M. us | shall be detained very
late ut the office posting my books
Very WE'LL the lady answered.
| Before | go To bed I'll say good night
to you over the telephone
| THE man had forgotten, you see,
| that Il telephone now connected hi,
office and his house
| Magistrate Hughes of the Moya,ncn-
sing avenue station. loves Il joke and Il
good story. and if any prisoner under
| arrest for IL petty offcnSr. such as
| crooiinE his elbow. etc. can put up a
| good yarn. he is almost certain of
| i"nicnt treatment.
Last SUNDAY an Individual who had
| seen better days WAS UP b"for" him f"r
having INDUCED too freely on s;utur-
day night.
| "Wnat'.i your Nance" asked the ma
sistrHtc.
| "Mct;ilinis."
| '"rhat's Il good illnc-any trade"
| "I'lumlmr."
| 'That's Il good trade. Where are
YOU FROM
| Quincy, H."
"That's a good place. Whom dill you
work for there"
| Bob Ingersoil."
| Hes dead
| Yes. but he Wasn't dead then.
| was in business for myself, and he said
| ! WAS TIE only one W no eyer got ahead
| of him"
| Tell us about that. But don't make
| it too long
| Its not long. In""rsoIl came into
my place and asked IN" to fix Il sink ut
| ms house. 'tinw much money have
YOU got in ynir cl"thcs??' says /.
| Whnt!' says he. That's what saws
|, and lie went into his pocket and
pulled NJ IL roll. 'That'll do" says 7.
| tlkin" it. Never mind about counting
it; III do the job
What Ia Won near says lc
This says I. I WAS on a spree
| last night and got locked up. IN thu
next coll to ~" WAS Il thief who WIS
ought with the goods. He sent for
YOU. nj thr first thing you did WAS t.
,sk him how much money II" had H
ana You took it. I'm doing the san"
thing by YOU
Keep tho money says he
Ana tho genial magistrate" let the
ruprit so.
"Thrtc years ago this winter" said
the Cleveland man. Il WAS held UP on
u lonely street. and because the rob
her found only 81 in change in my
pockets II, gave me I terrible clip over
he.iI II, II, 1, i,:f:It .t ion
after my head quit aching and I
could think. ] formulated Il plan. |
took Il 81 hill and wrapped it around a
lot Of blank paper and made a re-
sncci..blc looking roll or it, and when
ever | w.nt out nights where another
hnld-up could occur | took the dummy
along with me.
"Nothin~ happened until about two
months ago Then fellow jumped out
1T N" one night and ordered hands up.
Up they went. ana from behind he
Went through III" with promptncss and
dispatch. He almost gave Il shout
when ne found and pCcketed the roll,
but Il minute later he groWled:
"IIerc. YOU blamed millionaire. you
have been Juggling around hundreds Oh
dollars while | have been living on
bread ana water. and I'll even Things
up by giving you my compliments.
Md he hauled off with Il Stuitch
club ana gave me such bat over me
head that my cars are hardly dohe
ringing vet. | don't think it was the
same robbrr but I'm sure he gave me
the same sort of headache.
Miss Smvthe organizing subscrip-
tlon dancc)-I'm in despair about our
dance, Mr.. Brown. So many pe"pie
hhve failed me. You'll come, Won
you"
Mr. Dramatically. Miss Smythe,
m not Il dancing man. l don't dance
at all
Miss S.-Oh that don't matter III inc
least. You'd help fill up. you KNOW:
Mr.. H. Ah-ycs-with pleasure.
will look in about supper time.
Former Congressman II. ST. ue''
Tucker of Virginia. during reoe
visit to Baltimore, repeated So
that he said had been told MN '"
Nirsinian Who had been INDUCING t',
freely in the flowing bowl and VINO i'aa
become over-coniident of his own Sre'''-
ness. Locking around at ms ''"'
panions. the Nirginian boasted:
"Gentlemen, | can lick any man !"
Richmond"
Nobody took up the challenge an"
the Virginian returned to the ch''se'