The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1905-08-24

ny eooeso4 tlo1oly On Tho NJ
nncoalIog1 eAalf to which he had
- % t1cee1moniously condemned.
Plat Itenht 49, this, she went
On, Sbreexilys Il thought It such On
awtsl pity mat poor Dicky or Jerry
wasn't Harold Farsyde."
May request you, madam"
TO come to business? OF course.
Well, what I have in my mind is q
scheme-the most perfect scheme imag-
inable-for rendering people appropri-
ate We might form company, and
call It The Impersonators, Limited"
Il think hardly follow you."
1T is quite simple, really. My idea
sis to make poets look like poets. To
give an artistic tout ensemble to art
lists. Lecturers should look profound
all forehead and eyebrows and Jaw
and not as IL they were only interested
In some small, suburban chambers
shop. Positively, you know, these
clever people injure their own reputa.
tons by mingling with their fellow
creatures. You literary agents ought
not to allow your authors to appear in
public; they damage their own sales.
am sure they do. And painters are
always 30 in need Of decoration them
selves that you cannot possibly believe
In their genius. And as for your reputed
wits, have listened to more epigrams
at q mothers meeting in one short half
hour than ever heard at fashionable
gathering Of celebrities"
"You must have had some most un.
fortunate experiences"
Not unusually unfortunate. I fancy.
Other people quite agree with me. I
was talking to .. -. But-as you 80
courteously do not say-your time is
valuable, and I am by way of becoming
nuisance. will hurry on, then, to
my remedy. Why, Mr.. Boswell, should
all these famous people ever appear in
public at all?"
"Why?"
Eyes. Would It not be better for all
concerned If they were to employ other
people to impersonate them? There are
plenty of nice young men who would
look far more like the authors of great
works than the real authors do. And
many of them would be only too glad
to earn a few guineas by wearing the
nantes of the great at receptions and
balls and dinner parties and afternoon
teas. They would, am sure, stimulate
sales enormously, instead of retarding
them"
"You forget madam, that the person
alities of most Of our famous people are
already we'll known to the public. One
moment. How would it be possible to
introduce an altogether unknown per-
son as the author of-shall we say?-Mr.
Farsyde's book. either to a hostess or
the casual reader? Mr.. Farsydes por-
trait has appeared in"
"And you said you were cynic!" she
sighed.
Pardon me-" said Billy, ut was you
who said that"
Anyhow" she rejoined, 'tyou ought
to know that the memory of the common
herd is the most short-lived thing in
the world. And then there are always
new men and women coming along.
They, at least"
Il have not quite done. How, for
instance, could hint to my best author
that he-is not altogether handsome?
How could ! point out to one of my
artists or poets that he was essentially
not picturesque-that his wild hair re-
sembled rather the stufing out Of a
cheap sofa cushion than ambrosial
locks? 1t could not be done, my dear
madam. The thing is not feasible
And my brilliant wits! What, in the
name of all that is improbable, would
they do to me il told them, no matter
how delicately, that their funniments
were not funny? And then, my lectur-
erers. Imagine their wrath at being
compared to small suburban shopmen!
Il didn't think" the lady faltered.
"a ID that is not the worst of It.
either" proceeded Billy, ruthlessly.
"How am to advise them to change
their tailor or their dressmaker. their
halter or milliner, without laying NV.
self open to the suspicion of taking com.
missions from tradesmen? And then,
you know, these absurd people are proud
Of their houses and their back gardens
They plume themselves on their knowl-
edge of horses and dogs. And, above
all, how is it conceivable that should
criticise their wives adversely, and. In
the last dread resort, their children.
without provoking them to reprisala
that might even be of sanguinary sort?
No. madam. Your idea has points ad.
nit, and, for some reasons I wish that
1t could be put into practice. But 50
long as life is ordered as it is at pres
ent, even the wisest and most inspired
of mankind must have their share Of
human nature. Show me how to elm
mate human nature and am prepare;
to talk to you till the COWS come home
Il see," said the lady, sadly, reflective
ly.. But thought, you know !. They
don't look human one bit, anyway
And she Chicago Chronicle.
IVORY DIFFICULT TO JUDGE
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The next time you have billiard
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