The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-06

thick DIehefan tan
And want silk umbrella over every toll
And BY and BY each one will want . cool
The hands are marching on.
Chicago Chronicle.
HUMOR OF TIE Day l.
Somebody says the Russians have nc
such word as 'hurrah.' - well, we are d.
good deal more interested just now in find-
ing out whether they have any such word
as enough. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
You don't subscribe to the newspaper %
asked the visiting neighbor.
No answered the hostess 1--WE know
more than the newspaper can tell. My
husband is census taker. "-Washingto /
Star.
Shadbolt has a wonderful memory"
sance. Every time I meet him l can see
he hasn't forgotten the dollar and a half
[ borrowed from him five years ago.
"Blank'n have hard time in the next
Hes so lazy he'll have to hire chsuf-
feur to flap his wings for him!"-Detroit
Free Press
The fight" said the reporter, began in
a little alley down there. don't know
Gail i Harmony court, . said the ed
itor; its bound TO be something like
that. "-Philadelphia Ledger.
Mrs. crawford-Why don't your husband
buy you auto?"
Mrs. Crabshaw--He says we can run into
debt fast enough now without employing
Neutrality-suspicious.
In ioa
II should say do" answered the trust
magnate. why, they are taking up my
inconTenience as if were siUg mernbe sI'e Of
the grand jury.'-Washington Star.
He scratched his head with his fingers,
Then let out frightful wall.
For he found he had run salinter
$50 - Gchicago Chronicle
The Parson-well. my boy. you seem
today Boy-Yes, sir Bill Jones is going
ter git bird of licking this morning
for playing hockey, and I don't want to
miss it.
Miss Angles-He was pleased to say.
1 believe, that I had many good points.
Miss Cutting-Not exactly, dear. He
said you had a good many points.-Phila-
del2hia Press.
He seems to have gone to the bad
nlTnSel1 between the devil ana the QS0p
sea. and he realized that he couldn't
swim. '-Philadelphia Ledger.
"A good many people seem to dislike
Toucher1yAyet he appears to stand by his
friends ssYes-and I'll bet you never
saw one of them offer him a chair.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Towne-A friend sent bottle of Scotch
sister confessed this morning that she and
FIVE of her girl friends got hold of it last
making highballs for themselves Browne
-Graciousi Did they leave any of 1t?
Towne-An but about six teasDoonfuls.-
Philadelphia Press.
How Do They Prove It?-Out in Cali
fornia they have a law to punish people
who listen in on a telephone line. Il
suppose the eavesdroppers will agree that
listeners never hear any good of them
selves when they hear the judge say ten
and costs Cleveland Plain Dealer.
IT could never understand" said the
quiet citizen, what is the attraction in
Perhaps" replied tae enthusiastic be-
ginner with a bandaged head, ITS the at
Ledger.
said the teacher of the class in English
literature, what is a sonnet?''
"A sonnet" answered the girl with the
outrageous pompadour. lis a piece of
poetry that goes, heart, love, dove, part,
hold, Still Still Prize. at the ends Of the lines.
and almost any kind of words to fill in the
rest of it,
Keeter' the teacher said, with a frown.
land complete that sonnet by filling It in
with the necessary words. '-Chlcago Trl-
bune.
Grayce-which one of those girls is it
GIadys-Sssh! She'll hear you. When
the crowd comes up I'll kiss her twice
Louisville Courier-Journal-
Lynching used to be a very common
thing In this section, am told, remarked
the tourist from the east; quite pastine,
No. sir; present time, if the occasion
should arise, replied Cactus Cal.-Phila-
Mrs. chugwater-Josiah,. who is this
John Doe l see mentioned in the papers
sometimes?
Rockefeller His middle name is Dough
I supposed everybody knew that.-Chicago
Tribune.
meaning taaiai of nobiesse obiige?
Papa-I don't know my son, unless it
n nob s0l who are Obliged to marry tor
money.-Chieaso News.
Question of Fate.-Does Miss skreacher
7- I don't know. The answer depends on
whether you bel1eve7szne mother or the
MISUNDERSTANDING Leader.
a. New Yorker was visiting in Boston.
Seeing a parrot IN a cage, he asked:
Does Polly want cracker?
require no sustenance from you what
soever. replied the Back Bay bird, with
hauteur.-Yongers Gazette.
An Osler Convert-Kin We give an old
tramp ten cents mum?
What for? To buy whisky?
No, mum. To buy chlerofcrn.-House-
lston Chronicle.