The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-24
Eischman's Warnings.

Mr.. L. z. Eischman of New York, who
has recently been among US, in spirit
if not in truth, has unburdened himself
to the clairvoyant reporter of the Trib-
une, and now we know just where we
are at. Mr.. Eischman tells us that tho
moral wave that has passed over Min
neapolis has made such stir in the coun-
try that he came up here to see what 1T
amounted it. On his arrival, Mr.. Eisch-
man found that everything had been
closed but the Y. M. G. A., and it was rum
ming on it's good behavior. The Saliva
ton Army met him at the depot, and
there were prayers and drumbeats on
the way to the hotel. Before registering
he was obliged to select church and
agree to attend morning and evening
service. On the way down street po-
liceman asked him about his soul and
whether it had rubber heels. This might
have had reference to the icy condition
Of the sidewalks. .f% 4
Mr. Eischman is willing to give Min.
neapolis the benefit of the doubt on this
point, but on other points he is adamant.
His dictum is that Minneapolis is too
moral; that it is "an unsafe place for a
man away from home who wishes to
have a good time''; that our s'mer-
chants and hotel men are already feeling
the drop in business; that the lumber
jacks are no longer buying their sheep
skin coats here, because we have only
five variety theaters, wheEe before we
had six, and that st. Paul is ."going
to profit at our expense IL
| This last was the argument that Mr..
Eischman knew would bring us to our
senses. As idiotic as might be our mu-
nicipal policy, we would not persist in it
if St. Paul was going to get the benefit.
It is wonder we did not see this be-
fore. But warned in time. we must re-
verse ourselves. It will never do to let
ST.. Paul get all the rakeoff from those
important deals that Mr.. Eischman
tells us are made in the "small wee
hours of the night This trade with
or without jimmy we must have our
share of.
We are particularly obliged to Mr..
Eischman for his pointers on the lum-
berjacks. We had an impression that
they all went to the woods some time
before Mr.. Jones became mayor, and
were not expected back until spring
But Mr.. Eischman's superior informa'
4 tion makes it plain that the lumbermen
have deceived us. The lumberiack is
still moving and he is moving on a par
afola around Minneapolis for reasons
: connected with our excess morality.
It. Who is Mr.. Eischman and why is not
his identity revealed, SO that we may
offer him the homage due a man who has
saved%a city from going to the devi
thru reform? Journal reporters have
!, made something of a, search for hin
: and have failed to locate or identify
him. Yet he must exist. Not neces
!, sarily in New York, nor on the road
:. but. possibly in the Tribune building
He maybe the clairvoyant reporte
. himself. Clairvoyants have the powe
: to project themselves into other states
= in other words, to throw fits, and VIII,
not the clairvoyant reporter? The Tri
bune, having decided that the matte
, with Minneapolis is that it is not tougl
. enough, should it wait for a bona id
travelling man to confirm it's diagnosis
q No, it need only project it's clairvoyan
n reporter and the deed is done-don
4 twice, morning and evening. The onl
J. things omitted from the article tina
o would assist the public to an under
:. standing of it. are the signs, syni
q adv. t. f. .