The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1905-05-31

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ANY germs in this milk?'' '.Not that
I know Of. No extra charges II thsrs
are."
Knicker-Didn't the doctor build
you up? Bocker-Yes; but he seems
to think he built bank.-Harpers
Bazaar.
William-There's one thing about
Miss Charming's house l don't like.
Arthur-What's that7 william-Her
father.
Meekly-Yes. we're going to move
to 6wamphurst. Doctor-But the ell
mate there may disagree with your
wife. Meekly-It wouldn't dare.-Tit.
Bits.
Teacher-Now, Johnny, II your papa
caught one fish Of three pounds, one Of
five and one Of four. how much would
they all weigh? Johnny-Twenty.-
Harper's Bazaar.
Mrs. Flynn-An phwats yer son
Moike doin' now, Mrs. Casey7 Mrs.
Casey-Shure, Moike amt dom amy.
thing, Mrs. Flynn. He's got a COVER.
ment job.--sis Hopkins Book.
Hes thorough Bohemian 10 jack"
cried an actor in praise of an acquaint-
ance. He'd give you his last shilling
without thought of repayment" "Yes.
or borrow yours on the same terms"
responded his friend.
Editor--So you want position a.
weather reporter, Ell? What do you
know about reporting the weather?
Hiram Boots-What do l know? Gosh,
I've got the biggest corns in this here
county.-Chicago News.
Mamma-There! You have a black
eye and bloody nose and your coat
Is torn to bits. How many times have
I told you not to play with that bad
Brown boy3 Bobby-Gee. ma! Do
look like we'd been a-playin' ?-Cleve-
land Leader.
Modern Mother--Why, child alive,
what are you taking OF that dolly's
clothes fort Modern Child--I'm going
to famine her to see II she's been vac.
cinated. can't have 'erspreadin'
'tagion among my other dollles-Baltl.
more American.
"Oh! Ouch! Stop thatr' yelled Tom
my. why. Tommy, aren't you asharl.
ed" exclaimed his mother. II wouldn'.
cry like that II 1t were my hair that
was being combed." I'll bet you
would IL was dom the combin'." re-
piled Tommy, fiercely.-Catholic Stand
ard.
"You can't show me a single real
son." clustered the pater familias,
why we~should go to the seashore
this summer" 'What?" cried his
wife, pointing to their quartet of mar
riageable daughters. Il can show you
four single Observation-Disclosures
Press.
what 4 nice little boy" said the
minister, who was making call;
won't you come and shake hands.
my SOM" "Naw!" snapped the nice
little boy. my gracious! Don't you
like mer "Naw! l had ter git me
hands an face washed jist because
you come"
There was a smell of cookies in the
kitchen when Tommy made his MORN
ing call on his grandmother Il sup
pose you have Just had your breakfast,
Tommy" she said, land you're not
hungry" "Gran'ma," he answered,
"boys IL always hungry."-Chicago
Tribune.
Jim Persimmons-I reckon dat's.a
ten-horse-power automobile! Pete
Possum-Wot! You reckon dat ma
chimes got ten times as much power
40 dis horse O. mine? Jim Persim-
mons-No: twenty times as much; dat
looks like one-half horsepower horse
dat you got dar!-Puck.
Clara-You don't mean to say you
have been out skating all the after
noon! I should think you'd be awfully
tired. l suppose there was no place
where you could sit down? Kate-Oh,
yes, there were places all over the
pond. I used them all, guess.--Cin-
cinnati Commercial Tribune.
Miss Screech-He said something to
you about my singing last night, didn't
he7 Miss Peppery-Well, he did re-
mark how funny the corners of your
mouth looked when you sang. 1.-THE
idea! How could he have seen themf'
why not? He was sitting directly
behind you while you sang."-Catholic
Standard and Times.
A lady entered a railway station not
q hundred miles from Edinburgh the
other day, and said she wanted ticket
for London. The pale-looking clerk
asked: "SingleT 1T amt any Of your
business" she replied. II might have
been married a dozen times II I'd like
the providin' for some poor shiftless
wreck Of man like you"
The editor Of a country spaper re-
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