davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-01-06
A8RIDGlNG IHE LAW.


- Fsok Tfns. Aut II was Finally Re-
,.$ dueeA 70 One section.
eBefore we were married. cogitat.
"a the round shouldered but otherwise
upright man as he proceeded with bis
task Of washing the dishes which his
wife had left in an untidy state when
she departed for the convocation Of
the sewing circle. II concocted-in my
mind-quite long series Of bylaws
and regulations which should govern
and shape our married life. There
were rules and formulas calculated. 30
I believed, to at almost any emergency
that might arise. and from time to
time added codicils az they occurred
to me till In the end 1t was veritable
constitution duly authorizing two to
live cheaper than one and happier than
anybody else.
But shortly after the ceremony
which made us two souls with but
single thought. as they say In stories.
I began little at time to amend the
document-it was mental one. as l
said beforehand. strange as 1t may APP
pear. the more amendments I added
the shorter 1t became. till now. after
the lapse of fourteen years Of welded
bliss. my constitution is so reduced
that It is composed Of only one Sec
ton. which is as follows:
Section I. What my wife says is
law"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-01-06
Gem emf.

The difference between the two well
known varieties of cement, the Rosen-
dale and the Portland. lies in the fact
that the first named is natural prod
uct and the latter an artificial. The
former is made by burning a shay
limestone in kilns and grinding the
clinker produced with bur stones to
q very fine powder. which. when mix
ed with water, soon sets and forms
an artificial stone nearly as hard as
the original rock. Portland cement,
on the other hand. is made by COM
bining chalk or some other form Of
limestone free from magnesia with
siliceous clay. these materials being in
timately mixed and made into bricks.
which are burned in kilns with coke
fuels at very intense heat The re-
sulting clinker is ground in the same
manner as natural cement and is much
stronger and sets quicker than the
other.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-01-06
Not the Same Man.

A thin, nervous looking man stepped
up to the pastor as the latter came
down from the pulpit.
"You have had good deal to say
this morning." he observed. "about q
Teller that killed a man. named Abel"
Certainly" replied the pastor. 1.-The
Sin Of Cain was the subject of my
discourse"
Il wish you'd do me the favor next
Sunday" said the thin man. in some
excitement. Ito tell the folks that the
man you were talking about this morn.
ing amt no relation to the Kane that
keeps livery stable down by the mill
l don't want none Of my friends to
think that ! had a hand in that killing.
That's all. Good day!'
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-01-06
Its Other Name.

"How some people do pose." said
matter of fact man. "They use great.
big words just to make people think
that they are smart. l think that the
weakest of all affectations is that of
using what is called big language in
stead Of those simple terms which at
first present themselves to every per-
son of common sense.
'At my home the other day a young
lady astonished my household by ask
ing the loan of 'diminutive argerte-
Gus. truncated cone. convex on it's sum.
NIT and semiperforated with symmet-
rical indentations.'
"She wanted thimble. "-Louisvilie
Herald.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-01-06
THE SEVEN WHisTLEls.
An Ancient superstition That stin
Exists In EnGland.

An Ancient superstition That Stiu
Exists In EnEland.
In some paris Of England peculiar
whistling or yelplng noises are heard
In the air after dusk and early In the
morning before daylight during the
winter months. Sometimes. however,
the noise is described az beautiful
sounds like music. high up in the air.
which gradually die away. The gen.
eral belief IL that the ''seven whis-
tlers." as they are called. are the fore
tellers Of bad luck. disaster or death
to some one in the locality. 1t is a
very ancient suggestion. Both swifts
and plovers have been suggested as
the "whistlers." 1t may be noted that
plovers are additionally supposed to
contain the souls Of those who assisted
at the crucifxion and In consequence
were doomed to float in the air. for
ever. Really. the "whistlers' are wild
geon. or teal. as they fit from their
feeding grounds. passage always
made under cover Of darkness. In
Shropshire the sound Is described as re-
senbling that of many larks singing.
and the folklore of both Shropshire
and Worcestershire says. ''They are
seven birds. and the six fly about con-
tinually together looking for the sew
enth. and when they find him the world
will come to an end"
Everywhere. without exception. the
Seven whistlers" are believed to pre-
sage Ill. but the superstition seems to
be more particularly miners notion.
II they hear the warning voice of the
''seven whistlers." birds sent, as they
say. by Providence to warn them of an
impending danger. not man will de-
scend into the pit until the following
day. For example. in September. 1874.
the following paragraph went the
round of the papers: ION Monday
morning large numbers of the miners
employed at the Bedworth collieries.
In North Warwickshire. giving way to
superstition which has long prevailed
among their class, refused to descend
into the pits in which they are employ
ed. During Sunday night it was stated
that the seven whistlers' had been
distinctly heard in the neighborhood Of
Bedworth. and the result was that on
the following morning many Of the
men positively refused to descend into
the pits"
Morfa colliery. in South Wales, is
notorious for its uncanny traditions.
The ''seven whistlers" were heard
there before great explosion in the
sixties and before another in 1890.
when nearly hundred miners were
entombed. In December. 1895. 1t was
said that they had been heard yet
again. whereupon the men struck work
and could not be induced to resume 1t
until the government inspector had
made close examination Of the work.
ings aud reported all safe. In July.
1902. another instance Of a colliery
strike. founded upon the same super
stition, occurred In England.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-01-06
A novel,.t.. Characters.

Stevenson said that George Meredith
once read him some chapters Of 1.-THE
Egoist" while it was still in manu-
script. AS the character of the Egoisr
developed he stevenson, grew more
and more uncomfortable till at last be
interrupted the reading and said
"Now. own up. Meredith. you drew
Sir Willoughby from me-" Meredith
burst into his Homeric laugh and said:
mo. no. my dear fellow-he is all Of
u.s. But l found him. tapping his own
breast. mainly here" William Arch.
er's "Real Conversa TONS"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-01-06
Fishing For Sea Fowl.

Catching gulls and other sea fowl by
a baited hook and line is barbarous
practice which is sometimes resorted
to by sailors. The same method was
employed in former times for catching
herons. A long line of silk. with
strand of wire twisted in. was fixed to
a stone at one end and to hooks at the
other. The bait was then put out in
shallow water, where the birds seek
their food. either in stream or at the
edge of a pond. When the heron pouch
ed the bait the hooks lodged in his gull
let, and the strand of wire in the line
prevented it from being bitten through.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-01-06
CAGuEs.nL . t..~SGaS,
!1he Way u was Handled when Il
Reached This C0untry.

The Way u was Handled When ID
Reached This Country.
As soon as Daguerre's process be-
came well enough known In America
for practice scientific men and In fact
.'all sorts and conditions Of men, at
tempted to produce the wonderful pic.
lures. Many homemade and very prlm-
tive kinds Of apparatus were employ.
ed in the experiments. including the
cigar box with spectacle lens. II the
operator succeeded in producing un
impression that could be seen. 1t was
carried about and shown as q great
success.
There were several claimants for
making the first portrait By the proc.
ess. A Mr.. Walcott made the claim.
and Mr.. Joseph Dixon. by letters and
other evidence. claimed that the 6rst
picture was his, for which it was sud
Mrs. Dixon sat with powdered face
In full sunshine fifteen minutes.
In March. 1910. Messrs. Walcott and
johnson opened gallery In New
York and. announcing their readiness
to execute portraits from life. solicited
patronage. This was the first daguer-
reotype gallery In the world. Other
places were soon opened. The daguer-
reotype. although considered desirable
as curiosity. was not popular on ac-
count Of the length of time required
for sitting. which varied according
to the time Of day aud the strength
Of the light. 1t was seldom attempted
on a cloudy day. The sitter must have
full command Of his expression and
remain perfectly still from one to three
minutes to be successful in getting
likeness distinct enough to be recog-
nized.
= The daugerreotype was made on
pure metallic silver surface. After be-
ing perfectly cleaned and made sensi-
tive with rouge buff it was coated
in darkened room with the vapor Of
iodine. then placed In the camera and
exposed before the sitter through the
lens. 1t was still kept from the light
and placed over the fumes Of hot mer-
curry. where the image developed
Abraham Bogardas in Century.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-01-06
A Fatal Pun.

An old English chronicler. in record
ing the abdication Of King Henry vi.
of England in l4G1. quantity says that
his reign had lasted upward Of thirty
eight years without his having once
intermeddled with public affairs
The same writer aptly illustrates the
shakiness Of Edward Tvs title on his
succession to King Henry's throne by
story Of London grocer who lived
at the Sign Of the Crown and. "having
loosely remarked that his son was
heir to the CROWN" was promptly be-
headed for the atrocious pun.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-01-06
Too Precocious.

The Maiden What year
Is it called when February has twenty
nine days? Little Elsie-I.eap year.
The Maiden Governess-Correct And
how often does leap year come? (No
answer1 Why. Elsie. I'm surprised at
your not knowing that. Little Elsie
Oh. l haven't reached the age where
l keep track Of leap years!-Brooklyn
Life.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-01-06
UnpardOnable.

"In what family were you last en-
ployed?" asked Mrs. Fields-James.
'ln the family Of Mrs. Boscommon."
replied the applicant for a position Of
governess.
MAY ask why you left herr"
"Her superficiality and lack of gen.
eral information rendered my position
the distinction between an anachron-
ism and an anomaly."-Chicago Trib-
une.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-01-06
Coins.

Mn Nexdore That piano we bought
Or our daughter was a great bargain.
We bought 1t at an auction. you know.
Mrs. Pepprey-Oh. that may account
for It! Mrs. Nexdore-Account for
what7 Mrs. Pepprey-The fact that
IFS going. going. going. K
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-01-06
just Worrying,

"You appear i'll at ease." said the
young lady. Are you ill?"
"No." answered the young man. but
you know how sensitive and nervous
am. and I'm In agony for fear that
your little brother here will repeat
some Of the remarks you've made about
me."-Indianapolis Sun.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-01-06
Prettx Clo.e to m.

'',Now. that phrase" said the teacher.
us an idiom. Does any little boy know
what an idiom is?''
"Yes'm." piped little Tommy Skrapps
That's what pa Is when ma don't
want him to have bis own way and he
does. "-I'hiladelphia Press.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-01-06
The Mule,. Placid st.te.

els that your muleY" asked tho man
who was going fishing.
"Yas. sir" said the colored man who
was sitting on log by. the road.
Does he kickY'
Deed. mistuh. he amt got no cause
10 kick. He's gittin' his own way
right along. I'm de one OATS havin'
d worry an MISUNDERSTANDING.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-01-06
All She Wanted.

~She's lovely girl and 90 simple IN
her tastes. ! told her that hadn't
much Of an income yet but that I
hoped could provide for her every
want"
And what did she say7r
'6ho said that would be all she could
nd. Cleveland Plain Dealer. ~. III
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-01-06
Exasp-ratins Experiences.

Two things make my wife awful
mad"
3 what are they
ITO get ready for company that
doesn't come and to have company
GONE when she isn't ready Indlan-
apolis journal ,ss5
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-01-06
wosaan.s Rishts.

Hettie i believe 10 woman's rights.
Gertie Then you think every woman
should have 4 voter Hettle No. nut
think every woman should have . vot-
- III Ill &gs5ll E55s .S5s 15
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-01-06

h The Invitation to be happy II extsnd.
q to % all but that We may b hsSpy
- m1st 30 kind Schoolmastsa
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1905-01-06

The CIVILIZED savage y the worst q
oil sass1es. - Weber. '}s i,
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-20

q
Felicitations are in order. The modest
Astorian, the enterprising newspaper OF
the finest little city in the Pacific North
west, has succeeded in stirring up an
editorial row between the OregOnian and
the Journal. Replying TO the Oregonians
simple answer" the Journal, which was
referred to as a "yellow" newspaper
printed by a group Of piou, people"
says in part;
"The fundamental idea then is that
the Morning Mossback is "out for the
stuff" fact that has been well known
but seldom heretofore proclaimed. This
class of news comes to us through the
business Office" information conveyed on
an Oregonian letterhead somewhat
startled a section Of our population a
year or two ago. If it pays. it says, we
will prostitute our newspaper and de.
bauch the minds of our youthful readers
because we will not be outdone in our.
own field. We are not responsible,
it asserts in extenuation, because
we have no settled moral con-
yictions and if the other fell
low gives the lurid news you can count
on us doing the same because the public
demands it. There is lofty conception
of public duty expressed with a keen
sense of the value of a dirty dollar!"
While we are not in the least in
elined to laud the Journal, or to emu
late it in any manner, shape, or form,
in its editorial it certainly hits the nail
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-20

lane they nlSlut IOr niIn 20 Tie steps.
When he turned to them 10 speak, they
began TO cheer again, and he had TO
wait for them 20 quiet down,
I'VE can't hear him from over here"
said Brlscoe, "We're too far or. Mr.,
Meredith, suppose you take the ladies
closer In: I'll stay with the horses"
Hes great man. isn't hcy" Mere
dith said 10 Helen rs he handed her
out of the blackboard. 1--WE been try.
Ing to realize that he's the same old
fellow I've been treating so Familiarity
all day long"
"Yes, he IL great man." she an
swered This IL only the beginning"
That's true" said Briscoe, "only
wait awhile. and Wen all 20 on to
Washington and get thrill down our
backs when we hear the speaker say.
The gentleman from Indiana and see
John Harkless rise to speak. But hurry
along. young people"
Crossing the street. they met Miss
Tbhsl She was wiping her streaming
eyes with the back of her left hand aud
still mechanically waving her hand
kerchief with her right. Isn't Il beau.
tiful?" she said. not eeaslng to uncon'
sciously tiutter the little square OF cam.
brio. 'srhere was such q throng that
| grew faint and had 20 come away. !
don't mind your seeing me cry. Pretty
near everybody cried when he walked
up the steps and we saw that he was
lame"
Jch.i Harkless looked down upon the
attentive. earnest faces and into the
kindly eyes Of the Hoosier country pco
pie. and as he spoke the thought kept
recurring to him that this was the place
he had dreaded 10 come back TO, that
these were the people he had wished TO
leave, these who gave him everything
they had 10 give, and this made II diff
cult 10 keep his tones steady aud his
throat clear. Helen stood 80 far from
the steps (nor could she be induced TO
penetrate farther. though they would
have made way for herr that only
fragments reached her but these she
remembered.
~ have come home. Ordinarily a
man needs TO fall sick by the wayslde
or to be set upon by thieves in order to
realize that nine-tenths OF the world Is
Samaritan-and the other tenth only
too busy or too ignorant 10 be. Down
here lie realizes II with no necessity OF
Illness or wounds TO make him know II.
and II he does get hurt you send him
10 congress. There will be no other In
Washington so proud OF what he stands
for as | shall be. To represent you IL
10 stand for fearlcssncss. honor, kind
ness You have sent all Of the Cross
readers 20 the pententlary, but prob
ably each OF MS II acquainted with
politicians who ought 10 be sent there.
When the term Is over shall want
10 take the first train home. This
Is the place for man who likes to
live where people are kind 10 each
other and where they have the old
fashioned way Of saying 'home;' other
places they don't seem to get so much
! into II as we do. And to come home as
have today-to see the home faccs-l
have come home"
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-20

on the head. The oegonian Is out for
the Almighty dollar and is willing to
nauseate its readers that it may swell
its Golfers. In conclusion the journal
felicitates itself saying: 1t tthe Joum'
all has stimulated the growth, broad
ened the horizon, bcttered the news,
papers (as newspapersl and It has raised
the standard OF civic Righteousness, We
are glad the Journal was specific
newspapers; there is the possibility that
by splattering red ink over its pages the
Journal has forced the Oregoniau to turn
yellow" From the standpoint OF news
mediums, we fail 10 see that the journal
is the superior OF the oregonian and rs
matter OF fact we do not believe it may
be rightfully called an equal. We have
no fight against the Oregonian, nor are
we desirious of making one against the
Journal There appeared in the columns
OF both these papers lurid stories which
were. as we have already stated
''nauseating," We called attention to the
character of these stories and evmced
surprise that they should appear in the
columns of papers supposedly respec'
table. Instead of admitting the
stories should be alien TO any news
paper, both the 0regonian and the Jour
nal make the slim excuse that it is Il
matter Of appealing to public taste or
going out of business. Since this con-
ception of the question at hand seems
mutual, so long as these stories con-
tinue to appear we are determined to
do our best toward eliminating them
not only from our columns but from the
columns of newspapers in such terri
tory as our influence may extend.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-20

A petition is in circulation pleading
for the pardon OF Paddy Lynch, now
serving term in the penitentiary at
Salem and according to reports, the Pc
tition is receiving some signatures We
are heartily in favor of abolishing peni-
tentiaries-provided we may hang such
men as Lynch and thus remove the posi-
bility of petitions of similar nature.
We do not know from among what ele-
ment these signatures are being So
licited but are satisfied that if any OF
the city's decent people have affixed their
names to the petition they have done
so without proper consideration or un'
der Misrepresentation, and we venture
the assertion that at least ten OF the
jurors who tried Yyneh will oppose his
being given freedom.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-20

Speaking of the development OF this
country, there are few who are unwilling
to give due credit to the railroads
Everywhere that a line enters, in regions
remote or near, if any grass grew there
at all, two blades are likely to be made
to grow only where one grew before.
The census bureau of the government
in a bulletin just issued gives the com.
merciaal value of the railroad property
in the United States. 1t is Sll .244, ,S52,-
600. These are figures that amaze the
senses. More than eleven billions of
dollars invested in rail transportation!
Truly, as President Roosevelt says, those
be immense interests engaged in inter
state commerce! Viewed from another
standpoint, there is very little of this
immense investment that is not, in the
present day, broadly considered, good.
Railroad companies are more active than
ever before; good dividends are being
expended in new equipment and exten-
sions. There is still one section of our
country lily supplied with railroads.
That is wide Alaska, where the com
mercial value Of such property is only
100000. In New Yok it is approximate
ly $9OO0OOOO0.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-20
In LIGHTER VEIN
WHAT THEY TOOK.

1t is reported that on a recent oc-
casion when Arthur Balfour. Lord Cham
berlain, Lord Charles Beresford and the
japanese minister were dining out to-
gether. Mr.. Balfour. who was standing
treat, asked Mr.. Chamberlain what he
would take.
Thanks. I'll take Scotch, Arthur.
was his respond.
And what will you take, Lord
Charles :"
'Ill take Irish, Arthur"
And what will yo take!" addressing
the japanese minister.
I'm take Port Arthur, thanks wa
the answer.-Harper's Weekly.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-20
BAccHUS.

And as sat, over the light blue hills
There came a noise of revelers; the rills
Into the wide stream came of purple
hue
Twas Bacchus and his crew!
The earnest trumpet spake, and silver
thrills
From kissing cymbals made a merry
din
Twas Bacchus and his kin!
Like to a moving vintage down they
came,
Crown'd with green leaves, and faces
all on fame;
All madly dancing through the pleasant
valley,
To scare thee, Melancholy!
Keats.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-20

"we did"
"What forT
Ross was visibly embarrassed. why
-fer-fer the other editor"
"For Mr.. Fisbeep
Land, no. You don't suppose we'd
20 to all that work and bother to brisk.
en- things up for that old gentleman,
do your
~ meant young MFR. Fisbee. He IL
the other editor, isn't heT
"0hw said Ross. young Mr.. Els
bee2 Yes; we put 'em up fer him"
"You did? Did he appreciate them"
"Well, he-seemed to-kInd of liks
'em."
"Where is he nowl I came here te
Gnd him."
Hes gone"
"Gonef Hasn't he been here this aft
ernoonP
"Yes; some the time. Come In and
stayed durin' the leevy you was holdin'
and saw the extry Off all right"
when will he be back?"
"sence it's ben a daily he gifts here
by after supper. but don't stay very
late. Old Mr.. Fisbee and Parker look
after. whatever comes In then, unless
it's something special. He'll likely be
here by half past at the farthest of"
ITO be Continued.)
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-20

Through the consolidation OF the
Weekly Herald and the Daily News, a
morning newspaper called the News,Her'
aid will appear Sunday, August ~
While it is given out that the News
Herald viii be independent. politically,
and will be conducted after the policy
of astoria for Astorians,s We under
stand the new paper will be mixed up
in local politics and will endeayor to
put up fight for an open town.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-08-20
THE LAST WORD.

"Does your wife insist on having the
last word?" said the man who asks
impertinent questions.
Certainly not" answered Mr.. Meek
ton. "She doesn't have to insist
Washington Star.