Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-06-22

lar with your head in the basket, you
decide to have a run of sickness and
hire a doctor who will charge you the
price of a trip to Europe.
Well, sir, Naples is a dandy. in its
clean part. The bay of Naples is a
dead ringer for Milwaukee bay, in
shape and beauty, but Milwaukee lacks
Vesuvius and Pompeii, for suburbs.
and she lacks the customary highway
men to hold you up. Every man, wom-
In and child we have met makes a
living out of the tourists, and nobody
that | have seen works at any other
business.
We woke up the first morning and
Vesuvius belching forth flame, and
lava, and stone fences, and wanted to
turn in a fire alarm. but | told him
that that fire had been raging ever
since the Christian era, and was not
n o .these ineendiary barn burnings,
but he opened the window and yelled
fire. and the porters and chamber
maids came running to our room, with
buckets of water, and wanted to know
where the fire was. Dad pointed out
of the window towards Vesuvius and
said: Some hired girl has been start
ing a fire with kerosene, in that shan
ty on the knoll out there. and the
whole ranch will burn if you don't
turn out the fire department, you gosh
blasted lazy devils. Get a move on.
and help carry out the furniture"
Well, they Gained dad. and then |
had to go to work and post. dad up
on the geography he had forgotten,
and finally he remembered seeing a
picture of a volcano or burning noun
tain in his geography so years ago, but
he told me he never believed there was
a volcano in the world, but that he
always thought they put those pictures
in biographies to make them sell.
How a man can attain the prominence
and position in the business world that
dad has, and not know any more than
be does, is what beats me.
or course you know, having kept a
grocery since the war, and having had
opportunities TO study history. by the
pictures on the soap boxes and insur-
ance calendars, that Nero. the Roman
tyrant, after Rome was burned. while
he fiddled for a dance in a barn, goi
SO accustomed to fire and birthstone
thGt he retired to Naples and touched
aYa Anattuipu ttrt ca ba 1,,,1l 1onJ- -.
it. But Vesuvius about 1000 years age
got TO burning way down in It's bow,
els, and the fire got beyond control
and / suppose now the fire is away
down in the center of the earth, anl
you know when you get down in tn,
earth below the crust, on which W,
live and raise potatoes, everything Il
melted, like iron in a foundry, AMI
Vesuyius is the spigot through whicl
the fluid comes to the surface. Yol
see, don't you?
Just imagine that this earth is
barrel of beer, which you can under
stand better than anything else, an,
II is being shaken up by being haule
around IN wagons and cars, and !
straining to get out, then a bartende
drives q spigot into the bung, turns tn
thumb piece, and the pent-up bee
m out Flaming and squirting, an
there you are,
Instead OF beer, vesuvius Is loade
with lava. that runs like molasses, an
when 1t is cold it is indigestible as
cold bnckwheat cake, and yon ca
make II up into jewelry, that look
like maple sugar and smells like
fire In d garbage crematory. Beside
the lava there are stones as biz as
house that are thrown up by the sci
sickness Of the earth. az II heaves an