Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1905-06-09
BY MARGARET E. sANGsTER.

BY MARGARET E. SANGSTER.
Copyright. 1905. by Joseph B. Bowles.)
II am candid person. always speak
my mind. There is no deceit in me. My
friends know where l stand. l never
mince matters. speak right out"
The person who makes this declara-
tion of her independence is usually
woman. Men are less given than women
to airing with pride their sentiments
and methods in human intercourse.
The lady asserts herself with an effect
of settling ruffled feathers, aud calmly
awaits the compliment she expects
from the listener.
But should she receive compliment?
Candor is an admirable virtue. But
candor with bayonet or sledge ham
mer in its hand, may be very danger
Gus thing to encounter. Although one
speak the truth on every occasion, one
need not knock down ones fellows, nor
run amuck against the prejudices of So
ciety. The habit of speaking ones
company, savors OF self-esteem,
which Is nearly as bad quality as hy-
pocrisy. Why make truth disagreeable?
Why trample rough-shod on courtesy?
Why ignore the plain fact that it takes
more than one person to see some
truths, that truth may be an affair Of
vision, and that with utter sincerity, a
truth-telling blunderer may now and
then swear to a lie?
The experience of every court of JUS
tice verifies this statement. People re-
tain false impression. They remem-
ber only half of what they saw Few
memories are altogether accurate as to
names, dates and events Desire on one
side or the other makes an unconscious
bias. One of the hardest things in life is
to tell the direct, absolute, irrefutable
truth.
The lady who is so proud of her plain
speaking, is not thinking of court OF
law, in which she might be as frightened
as any other novice, but of the family
circle. At the table, in the parlor, in the
evening, when the family meet, to her
husband, to her children, and to &C.
quaintances, she speaks her mind.
When John comes home in excellent
spirits over deal that he has success.
fully carried through, she throws cold
water on his satisfaction by reminding
him of former disappointments.
Dear father always said that yo,
| were not cut out for business man
You are too sanguine. Anybody can gel
| the better of you in bargain. | shoult
feel much easier if you were clerk"
This style of conversation is distinc
damper on Johns enthusiasm. A maj
whose wife is a perpetual wet blanke
cannot easily hold his own with othe
men, That his wife believes in him re
enforces his enthusiasm and strength
ems his will. A wise and discreet wife
If she happen to have doubt, keeps
in her own bosom, and is far from tn,
brutal honesty that speaks its mind
when doing so cannot affect the matte
in hand.
"We miss Mrs. A. more tha
words can tell" said woman much en-
gagged in works of charity. "Alter sh
moved away we found it impossible t
secure anyone who could fill her place
Beyond anyone ever knew, she had tn
art of working agreeably with Others
and keeping different sorts of people 1
harmony She said such pleasan
things When there was nothing pleas
ant to be said, she kept silence"
| | had known Mrs. A from he
childhood. knew her as strong well
balanced woman, who had opinions an
convictions, but did not think it neces
sary to go through the world with a chi
on her shoulder When no principl
was involved, she refrained from e,
pressing what she thought, and parti,
ularly she was careful not to CONNER
unfavorably on others, present or al
sent. In passing, it may be observe
| ludls Wulle IL lCqullcs utLNS VI IldhS vi
friendly criticisms to the person who
present, it is the nerve of a ruftian, not
lady, and its only excuse is an owe
mastering excitement To say disagree
able things in public, in cold blood eve
If they are true and in a measure d
served, is bit of cruelty, possible
none but the ill-bred. To attack the a
) sent in any circumstance is coward
and infamous.
There is kind of candor that sets
peaceable family on edge and starts
, quarrel by its own rough impetus. 1t
tolerably sure to be inopportune, to b
gin a conversation when man is {
: ready late for his train. or girl
dressed for party and has not time
: change her toilette. Plain speaking /
: tween friends, when two of them a
alone doors shut and curtains drawn,
sometimes necessary, but it must