davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-01-28
NOT IN HIS line

Parson| don't know what IS the
matter with me, doctor. I can't lie on
either side.
Doctor-Of course not, parson. Only
a lawyer can do that.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-01-28
He Doesn't Count.

But the baby's.
as much yours as
your wife's, isn't
it?''
Gracious, mol
We're living with
my wife'ss people,"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-01-28
DEPENDS ON WHAT HE SEES.

Freddy-Say. pa. a seer is a wise
man, isn't hep
His al is supposed to be, my
son, but sometimes he makes a mis-
take and sees the other fellows raise
in a poker game.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-01-28
IT WOULD SEEM so.

He-What I value above everything
else is my peace of mind.
She-Wel, I don't blame you.
He-What do you mean by thato
She-One naturally values a thing of
which he has but a small piece.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-01-28

"When IEaw-awsked fob her hand
in mawiage her bwutaI fathah thweat-
ened to-aw-bwain me, doncherknow."
That's just like her father. He al
WAYS was fond of a Joke"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-01-28

ct think Miss
Plummer's photo
graph f~Iatters
her.
~sThen it's the
only thing ever
e e known to-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-01-28
Confirmed Habit.

She = Mrs. Fic-
kle is alw a Y s
c h a n gin g hus-
bands.
He - Yes. She
told me she was
welded to mar
ried life.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-01-28
A DECLARATION OF WAR.

Grace II firmly believe that we
should love our enemies.
Fred=In that case I declare war
upon you at once.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-01-28


Passerby[I thought 0 were blind.
Mendicant-Well, times is so hard
and competition is so great that even a
BLIND man has to keep his eyes open
nowadays if he wants to do business at
all
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-11

Leave orders for Alfalfa hay at
Telephone Stables. W. r. Cook.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-11
PROPERTY SOLD FOR TAXES,
Thomas w. Lawson's Wife Caught
Mapping In Business.

Boston, Mass, Sept. 11.-Many in
terested spectators will attend the
public auction in front of the court
house this afternoon, when Thomas
w. Lawson's Back Bay property, in
cIuding the homestead, stables, etc.,
will be sold for taxes. 1t seems that
the property was transferred by Mr..
Lawson to his wife. Mrs. Jennie A.
Lawson, two years ago. Mr.. Lawson
at that time overlooked the fact that
the taxes for 1902 and 1903 had not
been paid. Tax Collector Mcdonald.
failing to collect the taxes and ac-
crued interest, amounting to s5540,
advertised it for sale and set the auc-
ton for this Afternoon.
When Mr.. Lawson. Of ''Frenzied
Finance" fame, heard Of the am
nouncement of the sale. he was at
first inclined to send his agent to the
collector and let him pay the taxes,
but on second thought he decided
not to spoil the fun of the auction.
In regard to the matter Mr. Lawson
said to a friend: II do hope the city
will get sufficient to pay that $500.
Otherwise we would have to throw in
a dog or two" It is expected that Mr..
Lawson or his agent will bid in the
property at the auction.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-11
THE PARSON BIRD.
The Tui of New Zealand Can Talk,
Crow and whistle.

The TUT of New Zealand Can Talk,
Crow and whistle.
Among the feathered inha bitants of
New Zealand there is a bird called the
parson bird, or 'tui." 1t is about the
size and shape of a blackbird. but has
a pair Of delicate white tufts at Its
throat and is a glossy dark green 9th.
erwise, which looks black in the aun-
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-11
The Deep Waterways Problem

Buffalo, n. Y, Sept 1.-THE In
ternational Deep Waterways commits
zion resumed its sessions here today
and will probably remain here for
two days Among the matters to be
considered by the commission are the
protests against any action that would
lower the level of Lake Ontario; the
complaints of persons interested in
the preservation of the Niagara river
and the legal questions likely to arise
on account of possible damage by the
flooding of lands in the event Of the
construction Of a dam or regulating
works at the outlet of Lake Erie. 1t
is understood that the commission
strongly favors the deepening Of the
Welland canal The next meeting of
the commission will be held at Mag
ara Falls on September 13 and IA.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-11
A LOVER OF SNUFF.
The Queer VIII and Funeral of a
Queer EnRlishwoman.

The Queer VIII and Funeral of a
Queer Englishwoman.
The will of Mrs. Margaret Thompson,
which is preserved as a curiosity at
Somerset House, England, is tribute
TO the delights and consultations Of
snuff. The testatrix directed that In
her coffin should be buried with her all
her handkerchiefs and sufficient of the
best Scotch snuff to cover her body.
This she preferred to flowers, as moth
ing could be more fragrant and so re-
freshing to me as that precious pow
der" Further, the six greatest snuff
takers In the parish Of st. James, West
minister, were to be her bearers. Six
old maids, each bearing in her hand a
box filled with the best Scotch snuff to
take for their refreshment as thet
walked, were to bear the pail. Before
the corpse the minister was to walk.
carrying and partaking of a pound Of
snuff. At every twenty yards a hand.
full Of snuff was to be delivered to the
bystanders. and at the door Of the tes.
tatriK's house we're to be placed two
bushels of tne same quality OF su,lff for
gratultous distribution. In order to IN
sure the carrying out Of her wishes the
testatrix made the legacles given by
the will dependent upon an exact and
literal fulflllment of the conditions
above named. In closing she bade all
concerned to regard snuff as the grand
cordial Of nature,
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-11
DENTAL DECAY.
Dad Teeth, II Is Claimed, May Lead
to Appendicitin.

ead Teeth, II IL Claimed, May Lead
to Appendicitis.
Appendicitis is often due to bad
teeth, said DIR. e. S. Thompson, lectur.
ing at Gresham college, London. The
same organisms, he said. were present
both in defective teeth and in the dis.
eased appendix, which proved that den
tai decay was capable of causing ap-
pendicitis.
Il see no evidence to show that our
teeth are deteriorating to an alarming
extent with the growth Of civilization" !"
he declared, and he poiRted out that an
even larger proportion Of diseased
teeth had been found among Egyptian
and Roman remains than existed at
present.
Tobacco has an injurious effect on
the digestion" he went on, but / do
not think that nicotine has any more
effect on the teeth than alcohol. But
tobacco certainly blackens the teeth
and so causes many persons who are
careful of their personal appearance
to brush their teeth more often than
they would otherwise do"
He had found cod liver oil amazingly
successful in promoting the growth Of
teeth in children, and he recommended
the toothbrush drill as part OF the cur
riculum of schools. DIR. Thompson al
so urged the practice OF washing the
teeth after meals and rubbing them
twice day, and particularly the last
thing at night.-London Mail.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-11
Celebrating Perry Day.

Newport, r. l., Sept. 1I.-Today Is
the 92d anniversary of the Battle OF
Lake Erie and this city is celebrating
the day as Perry Day in an unusually
elaborate manner. Commodore Perry
who commanded the American squad;
ron I'm that battle, was native OF
Newport The city is profusely decor
ated with flags and pictures of Com
modre Perry are exhibited in many
windows. In honor of the day the
warships of the coast squadron in
the harbor fired a salute at sunrise
this morning. In the afternoon the
Brooklyn, the Illinois, the Kearsarge
and the other ships OF the squadron
will take part in big naval demon
stration.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-11

North Mckay, Sept 9.-Harvest /.
ended now for some moisture.
River is at a lower ebb than com.
mon.
Mr.. Markeson's new house is ap.
preaching completion.
A liveryman from lone is securing
these parts for traces of horse and
thief. The thief hired a double rig
at his stables a week ago, came ia
Pendleton, sold the rig, all but one
horse, for s25, and has disappeared
A vigilant committee should be
formed to hunt down these gentry.
George b. Kidder, three sons and
uncle, a. NJ. Cook, from Pennsylva-
mia, are in wallowa county cruising
over the country.
Mrs. J. S. Wheeler and her sister,
Mrs. Ruben French, who are on a
visit in Nebraska, write that they
were caught in a cyclone. They pre-
fer Umatilla dust storm.
The long trains of prairie schoon-
ers and other rigs that filled the
highways on their way to the Lewis
and Clark fair in the early part of
the season, are very much reduced in
number.
Uncle Joe Snyder. who has had a
long and successful run with his
threshing outfit. has hauled it home.
Unless rain comes soon the roads
will become simply impossible in
many a place. The wagon bed drags
in the dust with the wheels out of
sight up to the hubs.
Many changes are taking place in
this vicinity. Charles White soon va
Gates his place near the mouth of
Birch creek to Mr.. Roberts. The
Lymans, on the old Mckay donation
claim, give place TO Cheney, from
whom they bought.
George Cornett has assumed charge
of school SO. with a membership of
rs to 80 scholars. Mr.. C. is a Ken
lucky graduate with plenty of certi-
ficates as to ability.
Barney Crowner is in a condition to
ride and has visited his home twice |
the past few weeks. He Is still stop
ping at his fathers in Pendleton In
order to be near medical attendance.
Mr.. and Mrs. Carpenter are still on
the coast enjoying the Pacific breezes.
Truck gardening in this region has
been almost a failure owing to the
lack of moisture. The low water in
the river not giving power enough to |
raise the water by wheel and in many |
instances too low to run out by grade.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-11
The Medicine She wanted.

Village Dame describing various
aches and painsJ-My throat e did go
tickle, tickle, tickle, till ses. 81 must
be a-goin' to be ILL.," So 'olds un tight
wi my and, but that didn't do no
good: puts my old stockin' round un,
but that didn't do no good. So in the
marnin' talked 1t over wi Mrs. Giles
next door, and we thought as we'd
send over to the White 'Orse for three
pennorth o. gin, cos l ses: "P'raps it
may do l good and p'raps 1t mayn't
But even If it don't" I ses, you can't
take 1t when you be dead!"
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-11
A Comparison.

did you ever hear anything so idiot
ic as that talk Of Mrs. Softer's when
she is addressing her baby" queried
one woman of another on the street
car.
"Yes, think have" was the reply.
For heavens sake. what was it2'
IT once heard fat man talking to
his canary bird."-Chicago News.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-11
Unfortunately Put.

Uncle said the impecunious neph-
ew, you ought to go and see the new
play. You would just die laughing"
The old man merely glared. In a few
moments later there could be heard the
sound Of scratching pen as he altered
his will for the forty-fourth time.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-11
Machinists' international Association

Boston, Mass, Sept 1.-THE an
nual convention of the International
Association of Machinists opened
here today with large attendance.
Mere than 1000 delegates. represent
ing as many lodges In the United
States and Canada we're present at the
opening meeting.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-11

A young man who was about to be
married was very nervous and while
asking for information as to how he
must act put the question. 'Ts II kiss
tomaKy to Gus the bridsr-Brooklyn
Ina
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-11
NORTH M'KAY NEWS
MARKESoN's DWELLING
is NEARLY COMPLETED.

Double Rig Stolen at lone and Partly
Sold at Pendleton-Gone to Wal
iowa Prospecting-Caug I'm q Ne
braska Cyclone-Dust Is Hub Deep
IN Some of the Highways-ChanScs S
OF Domiciles-School Has Opened
In District Ss-Barney Crowner's
Wealth Improving.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-11

The East Orcgenian h Eastern Orc
son's representative paper. It ieads
and the people appreciate Il and snow
II By their liberal patronage. IL h
the sdvcrtising medium OF this section.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-09-11

PORTLAND, OREGON.

PORTLAND, OREGON.
American plan, SO per day and upward
Headquarters for tourists and commercial
travellers. Special rates made to families
and single gentlemen. The management
will be pleased at all times to show rooms
and give prices. modern Turkish bath
establishment In the hotel
II. c. BOWERS, Manager
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1905-04-15

Continued From First Page
in the people a perception of property
ownership" amounts to an imperial
refutation of the stories current among
the peasants that the emperor had de-
creed a new division of the land. 1t is
feared, however, it may have exactly
the contrary effect to the one desired
among the ignorant peasantry and that
shrewd agitators will be able to en-
ploy the rescript bearing upon the gen.
eral subject of the increase of peasant
land as being a confirmation instead of
a denial of the reports that the agita
tors had circulated about the emperor's
intention to redistribute the land. Two
methods of relief are proposed by the
rescript-the purchase of additional
land by the aid of a peasants bank and
the colonization of Siberia.
The creation of the new commission
sounded the knell of the old White
commission. An immense amount Of
material was collected by this commits
sion, but its work became so diffuse
and 1t accomplished so little that its
passing away has aroused no regret.
But the supplanting of one commission
by another serves to emphasize the
criticism of the liberals in regard to the
futility of reforms conducted by bu-
reaucratic commissions. Like all the
acts of the autocracy, Ii comes too
late" said a prominent nobleman, who
has large estate near Moghileff and
who considers il unsafe to live upon
his property.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1905-04-15
SALTWATER

The stockholders Of the new shoe manu-
featuring concern to be established I'm
Saltwater elected the following directors:
L. E. Torinus, c. L. Mosier L. L. Man
waring, w. L. Prince, T. F. Connolly. NJ.
L. Murphy and ]. ]. Eichten. The con-
Germ Will be Incorporated as soon as pos
sible. A factory win either be rented or
built. and ii is intended TO begin manu-
featuring as soon as possible Stock
amounting 10 100000 has been subscribed
for.
Albert McAloon. a young man. who has
resided in Saltwater all his life died very
suddenly yesterday at Rock Island pre-
sumably of heart failure. He was twenty
six years old and was the son OF George
McAloon, who left some weeks ago for
Iowa. The young man was employed on
the United States dredge Vulcan. The
body will be brought here this morning
The proposition to secure new factories
for Saltwater is resulting in considerable
work being done along that line by promi-
nent men. Yesterday a gentleman was
here from Vinton, Ia, and discussed a
plan of establishing a canning factory in
Saltwater.
The Isaac Staples and howboat depart
ed yesterday with very large raft of
lumber for the South Muscatine Lumber
company of Muscatine, Ia The Clyde will
be inspected next Tuesday by Messrs
Monaghan and Chalf Of Duluth. and
will leave the same day with logs for the
Standard Lumber company, Dubuque The
Juniata will probably not start out until
the early part of May.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1905-04-15
FRENCH SOIL GIVES UP
PAUL JONES' BODY

Continued From First Page
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1905-04-15
ENGINE PROVES A
VER|TABLE HOODOO
UnIuCky Northern Pacific Loco.
motive Is Destroyed in
Cushing Smash

1t was yesterday reported to the operat-
ing department of the Northern Pacific
that engine 22S, the i'll fated machine in
which Engineer Robert Murray of Staples
met death last week, is totally unfit for
further service. The engine met another
head on and was badly shattered In a
smash that resulted. Murray died at his
post rather than jump and take a chance
for safety, as long as there was a pos
sibility that he could safeguard his pas
sengers by staying in the cab.
Locomotive 22S was one of the best and
most effective engines of the Northern Pa
cific. and for a year has been regularly
hauling the North Coast Limited, the brag
train of the system. The engine took the
limited as far as the first division out of
st. Paul and made the return trip with
the east bound limited train.
The engine that had been assigned to
No. 3, the train that was wrecked, met
with a slight accident just before No. j
pulled out of st. Paul, and the engine of
the limited. No. 22s. was pressed into
service for the extra run.
The crash at Gushing followed and now
comes the report that the remains of the
engine are practically scrap iron.
One OF the officers of the Northern Pa
clfic recalled yesterday that 22S had been
a peculiarly unfortunate locomotive. Two
years ago 1t was in wreck near Staples
and twice besides the engine had been put
out OF commission by minor accidents.
As 1t was comparatively new machine
the record for accidents made the operat-
Ing employees trifle shy of working with
the unlucky engine
Murray took it out that night in place
OF his regular machine. and the i'll luck
OF the engine was further demonstrated
by his death and destruction of the loco
motive
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1905-04-15
CLEAN UP A SAL DON
Armed HoIdup Men Rob Cash
Drawer and Escape

The holdup men started On their an
nual spring clean up in Minneapolis last
night by holding up and robbing Ed
PolacyZk in his saloon at 731 Marshall
street northeast.
In true highwayman fashion, with masks
over their faces and guns in their hands,
the two men entered the saloon at about
1880, when the proprietor was alone, and
while one of the robbers kept him cover
ed the other ran behind the bar and rob-
bed the cash register of $55.
Still keeping PolacyZk in line with the
muZzles of their revolers the men beat a
retreat toward the street As soon as
they passed out of the door Polacyzk seiz-
ed revolver lying close at hand and gave
chase. He followed them down Seventh
avenue toward the river, firing twice as
he ran. An examination of the ground
over which they travelled failed, however,
to reveal any blood stain indicating that
either of the shots had taken effect.
Mr.. Polacyzk hastily retraced his steps
to the saloon after he saw the two men
disappear and telephoned police head
quarters. Detective Gallagher was detail
ed on the case, and arrived on the scene
of the crime within an hour of the time
the criminals had left.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1905-04-15
Canadians May Lose River

WASHINGTON. April 1.-THE presi-
dent has appointed a special commission
to deal with important questions which
have arisen relative to the diversion and
interference with the course OF interna-
tional rivers. This commission consists
department; Special Assistant General M.
c. Burch and Prof. F. II. Newell OF the
geological survey. On the north the MIX
river projects in Montana have alarmed
the Canadians Arising in the United
States. this river flows into Canada and
back again into Montana. The Canadians
have been making large use of the waters
on their side, which has led to a project
by the people of Montana TO cut out the
entire bend In the river on the Canadian
side by canal. the effect of which would
completely deprive the Canadians OF
water.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1905-04-15
RAILROAD NOTES

w. B. Dixon. northwestern passenger
agent of the Milwaukee, returned yester-
day from Chicago, where he has been in
consultation with F. A. Miller. general
passenger agent of the road. Mr.. Dixon
would not discuss the reported appoint
ments and promotions in the passenger
department of the road.
The Great Northern has ordered fifty
three passenger cars from the Science
tady car works, which will be delivered
on a rush order. The press of passenger
traffic westbound over this line has been
unprecedented this spring. The 500 has
also ordered six locomotives from the same
concern.
Actual work on the White River Valley.
which is a subcorporation OF the Mil
waukee, is being pushed westward from
Chamberlain. S. D., in spite of the fact
that the bridge at that point across the
Missouri has not been completed.
Work is reported progressing fast on
the 500 extension from Thief River Falls
to Kenmare n. d. The right of way OF
the extensions presents no serious en-
cheering difficulties AS a consequence
the work is moving along swiftly.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1905-04-15
BAD WITH THE GUN
Policemen Shoot Dogs but Do
Not Kill Them

-. The Humane society takes exception to
the craftsmanship of some of the mem
bers of the Minneapolis police depart
ment. Yesterday Patrolman Bleed was
sent to kill an alleged mad dog on Upper
Hennepin avenue. He fired a few shots
at the animal, which had been coaxed
into an alley and then departed. Later
the Humane society was notified that the
dog had been shot, but was still alive and
Agent Adams was sent TO dispatch it.
He found the animal still alive and put an
end to its miseries
About ten days ago a policeman was
ordered to kill a dog on Fifteenth street
near Chicago avenue. The policeman ar
rived On the scene, but he didn't have a
revolver He sent out in search of
weapon and in the meantime the dog en-
tered the shed. A small boy was induced
to drag him out and the policeman shot the
canine five times. Later he was informed
the dog was alive and after four more
shots had been fired. the dog was declared
dead.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1905-04-15
DIVORCE COURT CUTS
MANY STRONG BONDS
Spouses Tell Tales of Cruelty and Are Al
lowed Freedom

Ida Noren, who was married at the age
of Is years, was yesterday granted a di-
cruel treatment. She says that she en-
dured the abuse of her spouse until at
birthday party given by her sister her
presence of some of the guests and mall
treated her
Judge Holt granted this divorce and or
dered DEGREES in the following cases:
Bessie Ostram Ostman from Erick p
OStman, drunkenness and cruelty; Sgne
Hagstrom from Emil Hagstrom, cruelty
and drunkenness; Alice r. Barnes from
William II. Barnes, cruelty; Lulu Dell
Cotfeld from James D. Cotfield, desertion;
Edith Applin from Eby r. Applin. defend
ant in penitentiary; Mathilde c. Lund-
berg from Claus Albert Lundberg, de-
Sertion.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1905-04-15
GOOD FOLKS ACTIVE
Object to Sunday Saloons in
"Hub of He'll"

A petition signed by about 1900 resi-
dents in the vicinity of the Hub of Help
district was presented TO the mayor yes
terday by A. G. Dunlop, and George NJ:
miles of the place. Twenty-seventh ave
nue. south and Twenty fifth street. This
petition asked that the saloons in that To-
cality should be closed on the Sabbath
day.
The members of the committee are said
to have informed the mayor that unless
the request was granted legal steps will
be taken to compel an observance of the
law.
This is only part of a programme which
is being engineered throughout the city
to compel the mayor to close the saloons
on Sunday. These petitions have been
circulated in the churches and other
places and a majority of the signers come
scribed under the patrol limit law. The
Home Protective league is said to be be-
hind the proposition.