davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Arizona republican., 1905-08-07
TO IMPROVE A JOKE.

She-There's an awfully funny joke
1 heard today about an Irishman in an
automobiles
He-Yes, dear. I heard it.
She-Oh, you mean thing. l wanted
to tell it to you. 1t was so funny.
He-GO ahead, dear. 1t viii be even
funnier the way you tell it.-Philadel-
phia Press.
Arizona republican., 1905-08-07
Pianos That Sell Are
Always in Demand
THE WILEY B. ALLEN co.

247-4e EAST WASHINGTON SELLING A
Sc s the of
ow and terms
a 70
Of
in
Co. Phoenix Leading Music
AS
Arizona republican., 1905-08-07

If the crust of the earth is only
twelve miles thick and the interior is,
therefore, a core of fiery, molten ma
terials nearly 5000 miles in diameter,
one is curious to know what will hap
pen to the wOrkmen, not to speak of
their fellow creatures above ground,
when they break through. Their re-
frigerating processes will hardly be
able to solidify that surging mass Of
fire. Perhaps, however, they viii stop
when they get about eleven and three
quarters miles below ground and ap-
ply some automatic process for blow
ing out the remaining quarter of a
mile. Then one may reasonably ex-
pect an exhibition of fireworks beating
anything short of a volcanic eruption.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-06-29
A NEW LINE IN INSURANCE.

CT HAVE struck line for myself said in
agent Insead Of soliciting insurance in the
old and noted companies going about organizing
school teachers telegraph operators and the like
"There is church in Pennsylvania that has its
insurance company for five years years protection
this church company only costs Is cents per $1,000 and
this incredibly low rate the company steadily building
up surplus It founded by the PASTOR kind Of social
reformer He says that the big
Quoted exravagany and charge extravagant rates. He
say that all churches ought to estbsh mutual insurance
societies for fire and life Paying and salaries
these societies could give the very best protection
unheard of in the past.
81 took this minister's hint, and resigned my job
solicitor with Of the richest companies in the world
and began about from church to church. and from
society to society giving little, simple lectures the adj
vantage of mutual societies. and the method establish
ing them.
s1What has been the result? The result has been most
encouraging In three churches, and among six trade
societies, in the past month"; have been hired to form
mutual societies. five for fire. three for life and one for
fire and life both
II paid for forming these societies, and there is
contract that makes the general auditor Of each Of them
at reasonable salary Altogether hope to do very we'll
hope to establish mutuals all the east be kept
busy going from to another of them auditing the
books,
.Well goodby must be off now. I address a min
listers meeting at Churches That Insre-A Proved
Success -
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-06-29
A THREAD 1000 MILES LONG.

tsC EA ISLAND cotton is the best kind said a south
~ 1T is finer and silker than any other
in the world pound Of it be spun into Alto miles
Of thread
For experiment. once, in the English town of Man
chester skilled spun pound Of Sea Island
into single thread 1000 miles long.
SThen, for another experiment. he took another pound
Of cotton and spun into many hanks he get
He got 10000 hanks in all and the yarn each of them
measured $40 yards Thus, pound of cotton 477O
miles Of yarn produced. This yarn, tho fine
to be of any practical utility.
'Those two experiments made superb advertisement
FOR the cotton Of the SOUTH
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-06-29
What the Market Affords.
. AM LOAF, 13 cents.
| / Veal loaf, Is cents,

I ] AM LOAF, 13 cents.
l Veal loaf, Is cents.
Chicken loaf, Is cents.
Truffled grouse wild {snaan cans),
Salmon, la Russo, 40 cents.
Potted and deved ham, to IS cents.
Carrots, bees and turnps, two punches for cents.
Cucumbers, 5 to 10 cents.
Telephone peas, so cents peck.
Tdbs for the picnic basket are now much sought and
all kinds of canned and ported meats and fish having
large sale in consequence The various kinds Of meat
oaves agreeable change the beernown ported
and deviled meats novelty of table delcacy shop
Italian importaton Saumon la Russo, salmon put up
oil with several varieties of vegetables about
garnish It attractive looking and tasty morse Truf
fled grouse and wild duck savory bits for the epcure
Telephone peas about the finest thing afforded by
the vegetable market and coming along with them tiny
little carrots that make delicious and very pretty dish
cooked with the peas These especially well with either
lamb boiled salmon.
The following salad seasonable and will be very ac-
ceptabe In the weather which July should bring
Pineapple Salad in Tomato Cups-Skn small, perfect,
Tosered tomatoes and with pointed spoon remove the
centers Pare and shred with silver ripe pineapple
adding teaspoon of lemon juice two tablespoons of pow
dered twelve radshes peeed and cut dice and
Of mayonnaise dressing Fill into the prepared to-
matoes setting to chill and rpen Garnis with
plume Of crisp parsley and bed Of heart lettuce
leaves
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-06-29
Borrowing Trouble.

I saw delicate flower that had grown
up two feet high between the path and
the wheel track. An inch more to the
right or left had sealed it's fate, or an inch
higher; and yet it lived flourish
much as If it had a thousand acres of
untrodden space around it, and never
knew the danger it incurred. 1t did not
borrow trouble, nor invite an evil fate by
experimenting it. Henry Thoreau.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-06-29
The Lilies.

They do not toll;
Content with their allotted task
They do but grow; they do ask;
richer lot higher sphere.
But in their loneliness appear,
And grow and smile, and do their best,
And unto God they leave the rest.
-Farningham.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-06-29
Not in Vain.

Did you ever hear of man who had
striven all his life faithfully and singly
toward an object and in no measure at
tanned it? If a man constantly aspires,
is he not elevated? Did man ever try
heroism, magnanimity, truth, sincerity,
and find that there was no advantage in
them-that it was vain endeavor.
H. D. Thoreau.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-06-29
Definite Work,

Definite work is not always that which
is cut and squared for us, but that which
comes as a claim upon the conscience,
whether It is nursing in a hospital, or
hemming handkerchief M. SeWell.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-06-29
Hope.

Every day is fresh beginning,
Every morn is the world made new;
You who are weary of sorrow and SHINING,
Here is beautiful hope for you;
hope for me and a hope for you.
Susan Coolidge.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-06-29
4 String of Good Stories:
. how he TRUTH may
i twas said mo-"
sELF-CoNVICTED.

GROUP Of brokers discussing the California
II law which makes eavesdropping the telephone
crime punishable by imprisonment A number of stories
of telephone eavesdropping narrated Henry Clews
said:
''There is who used to have partywre phone
phone whose she shared with three other persons
Each of these four always heard the ring that called any
of the other three up and each by taking down her
eeiver gently putting her could hear anything
that mi ght be said
Zone Of the women-Mrs. Green-was suspected Of
eavesdroppng this way She known to have repeated
scandaous and yet true things about her three telephone
partners and she could only have learned these things by
listening to what went the wire.
''Wel, day, ring summoned the youngest OF the
four to the phone. She sad Hello, who is it?' and
familiar voice told her that it friend in the suburbs
Look here,' said this friend; Il admired immensely
that white gown you at luncheon Do you mind
telling where you got it g
"fNo indeed replied the lady Of the party wire Il
got it at So-and-so's.'.
"'Would YOU mind if got some white serge like it,
"tWhy, not at ALL
I" How much does that serge cost yard?
''Oh said the party lady, you coming down
town tomorrow. I'll tell you then.
% But why can It you tell me now?'
I" Because the reply, there's Mrs Green who
shares this wire with me- and she listens to everything
I say. ..-...
Oh very WE'LL, said the other tGoodby.'
tGood-' began the first lady, but she was inter-
rupted. .....@-.
'''Wat minute said voice,
Il you understand that what you just
said is e and if you not very careful you'll be
rested for SANDER"
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-06-29
THE RIGHT PLACE.

GtTHE late Judge Albion W. Tourgee' said Ghicagoan,
"was very fond of children, and innumerabe were
the stories Of children that he had at his tongues end
Il dined with him in Bordeaux one night last fall and
with the coming of the coffee the talk turned the little
fudge Tourgee told hundred chdren's anecdotes but
the best remember concerned tiny relative Of his
He said he found this relative, little girl, in
full mood one day, and he said to her:
1" What is the matter with little Mary?'
@' Papa gave me whacky -whacl, Mary replied
" Bad papa! And where did he whacky-whack Mary?'
g On the back of my tum, replied the little girl.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-06-29
The Design of God.

we do not always perceive that even
the writing of note of congratulations,
the fabrication Of something intended as
an offering of affection, our necessary in.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-06-29
DIvIS ON

tercourse with characters which have no
congeniality with our own, or hours APP
parently trifled away in the domestic cir
Gle, may be made by us the performance
of a most sacred and blessed work; even
carrying out, in our feeble measure, the
design of God for the increase of happi-
ness. S. w. Stephens
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-06-29
Gods Will.

Every hour comes with some little fagot
of Gods will fastened upon its back.
-Faber.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-06-29

Hight OF stairs when
the telephone bell anu es inc ma''er crop
tnke far be from to suggest the of the down
stairs hall again"
Of course said Mrs Shumaker thoughtfully IT would
have to upstairs time the bell rang if have it
put upstairs, and that might grow resome But, them it
ought to be there if burglars ever
tAIy dear,'' said Shumaker, eve have been keeping
house about fifteen years now, haven't we?''
eyes" said Mrs. Shu1naker, with doubt in her
vocedoub of his ultimate purpose in asking the question
'And in all that time has anyone ratified front
doorknob with of getting unless that
had legitimate right--''
t'Nonsense!' said Mrs. Shumaker. tThey may get in
tonight and take everything we managed to accumulate
during those fifteen years you speak Of Well if upstairs
won't do why don't you suggest somewhere else?
"That's easy I suggest the rear of the downstairs
hall. -
tJanesI shall scream if you continue to talk about
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-06-29

Shumaker whsted softly. Because you asked me the
best place view the situation and tell you what
consider the best place. Here the telephone
Now you let him settle the matter for and then in the
future you blame him if things don't suit you'
Shumaker still whstlng softly when his wife asked
and the answered the crucial question But he stopped
in time to hear his wife's reply
"Cepainy'' she said, that's what have decided
will be hidden by the stairs and it would be very ncon
venient to have it upstairs In the of the hall them
shumaker began to whistle again. softly and slowly but
meeting his wfes steey he got quietly and started
DOWNTOWN Chicago News.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-06-29
What Women Want to K1zow.

gliding FLUIDS-What is the volatile oil used in max
NJ ing the liquid gliding fluids gold paint etc, popularity
sold on the market?-Subscriber.
Bronzng liquid is usually sold mixed with the gold.
There two kinds Of this liquid, but the mixed with
turpentine is most commonly used
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-06-29


But, James, said Mrs Shumaker, with information
that her husband knew ~ have asked you for days where
to have that telephone put and it ism It decided YETI
We'll, isn't that just little your fault my dear?''
asked Shumaker. Every time you have asked have
said that it should be put in the of the hall That spot
really does spite of and unexplained objection
appeal to me the place where might best hang
suit your convenience everybody's convenience
Mrs Shumaker shifted contemptuously 'What if bur-
glars were to Gomez How could possibly get down there
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-06-29

in the night? One of
the chief reasons for
having the thing put in
is for burglar protec-
ton. Suppose a fire
started in the cellar
and our escape from
upstairs was cut off,
how could we get
downstairs to summon
the fire department -,
"Well, = said Shu-
maker YEARLY, if you
prefer upstairs, for
goodness sake have it
PLACED upstairs and let
the matter drop. The
thing is for your con-
venientce, and if you
feel it is for your con
venience to trot up a
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-06-29
QUESTION FOR TOMORROW,

BIRDS NESTS-Please tell what would prevent mothsl
from getting into birds nests which used for o1na
ments Enquirer.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-06-29
Putting IN the Telephone

AMES," said Mrs. Shumaker, "the>tele-
phone men have come to see about put
ting in the telephone"
Very we'll, " said Shumaker with that
exasperating indifference to domestic cri-
ses that has driven many woman to an
early grave. And he returned to his
newspaper.
'..But where shall we have it put?'
60 Anv old Mace NV daar >,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-06-29
TERNAT1oNAL HEADQUARTERS.

90 Fifth avenue New York, Cynthia West
over Alden, founder and president general
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-05-18
JAMES H. HYDE EXPLAINS.
HE Shows That the Equitable Society
Bought No Bonds from his Syndicate.

New York, May 1s.-In testimony
before the Frick committee Of directors,
which is investigating the alleged mis-
management of the Equitable Life AS
siiranee Society, James Hazen Hyde,
yioe president, on Tuesday explained all
the business transactions Of the syn
dieate known as James Fl. Hyde and
associates.7 His testimony showed that
Although the Equitable had bought S13,-
0D0,000 of the bonds underwritten by
shA syndicate, il had bought no one bond
from James II. Hyde and associates,
From the examination OF Mr.. Hyde
ana the transcripts Of records the com
mite has learned that there were eight
syndicates in which j. II. Hyde and
associates were considered as only one
Df an average of ITO underwriters. The
tail amount was about 100000, 600
ln bonds were all heavily over sub
S1ibed. In no case was there a single
bund allotted to any of the underwrit-
eax, ii was said, so whatever securities
eanie into possession of the Equitable
were purchased in open market or ac-
auired IN regular subscription fashion.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-05-18
In Its Tenth Season.

Fred Ravnond's famous comedy, THE
Missouri Girl" now in its tenth season.
il 4 most conclusive proof that good
clean. wholesome theatrical productions
are always welcomed aud generously
patronized by the theatre going public.
The comedy is SO closely interviewer
with bits 81 pathos and such sensational
incidents as would actually occur in the
lives Of such people who exist in THE
Missouri Girl, that the entirety is a
revelation IN simplicity and interest IN
the art Of play building.
Mr.. Raymond has equipped tie play
with the best Of accessories and spared
no expense in making its production
one thoroughly worthy the patronage
accorded IL
That its production at the Barre opera
house next Monday will be one Of the
satisfying theatrical engagements Of
the season Is ON assured fact.
In the past nine seasons there il no
play Of contemporary authorship which
has enjoyed such universal prosperity.
The fact that Mr.. Raymond has three
companies playing the piece Is evidence
sufficient Of its merit and popularity.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-05-18
President Roosevelt to Settle
Down.
TO CUT PUBLIC ACTIVITY.
But First He win Make One More
Swing Around the Circle
To Pull No
Strings.


New York, May is. President Roose-
Welt will make only one more swing
around the circle, according to Wash
ington dispatch to the World. A brief
southern trip the first two weeks Of
October win be his last.
When Mr.. Roosevelt returns from the
South for the extraordinary session TO
regulate freight rates, he will settle
| down to the quiet life. He feels that
since his announcement that he will not
be q candidate for another term Lie has
been criticized for his activity in public,
and he known that the declaration has
been made that he is Laying wiresv for
Root or Cortelyou. The President wants
Int understood that he will not seek to
control the selection of his successor,
and will desist from speaking and hand
shaking tours. He will leave clear
field for the nomination in 1908.
MIR. Roosevelt has travelled over the
country more generally and frequently
than any Of his predecessors. His with
Idrawal from contact with the public for
Ia period Of more than three years will
be i'll marked contrast to his previous
freedom of movement.
Since he became president he has vis-
tied every state and territory except
Florida and Arkansas. He is exceed
|ingly proud OF this record, and says
that before be settles down to the quiet
life he would ike to accept the hospi-
tality Of the two states lie has not
visited.
His trip before the special session the
coming fall viii be made with the single
intention Of visiting Arkansas and Flor
| ida. The President wants it said Of him
that lie visited every state and terri
tory within the United States proper.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-05-18
GOODWIN PARDoNED.
Lawrence, Mass, Man Gets Release from
Prison After Twenty Years
Service.

Boston, May Isl Henry *. Goodwin,
who has served twenty years Of life
sentence for the killing of Albert D..
Swan in Lawrence in 1855, was par
doned yesterday afternoon by Governor
Douglas. The pardon was recommend
ed by the governors council. The par
don is unconditional and does not re-
quire Goodwin to leave the state, all
though he asked that this be made one
of the provisions Of his release.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-05-18
Body Found in River.

Eeen n. H., May Isl Medical Ref
cree John D. Proctor was notified yes
terday Of the finding Of body Of an
unknown man iii the Connecticut river
at Wells Ferry between Pntney, VT,
and Westmoreland, n. IF, After view
ING the body, Dr. Proctor stated that
1t had been in the water a month OF
more and appeared to be that Of a
laborer about 35 years old. There was
q wound on the head which might have
fractured the skull, but this, he said
might haze been caused by contact with
q rock in the river after the mans
death. The authorities are endeavoring
to identify the body.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-05-18
Child Labor Bill Signed.

Albany, May is. Governor Higgins
yesterday signed Senator Hills drastic
child labor bill, which places upon the
employer Of child apparently under
the age Of sixteen years. far larger
responsibility than hitherto, Il author
lies the commissioner Of labor Of local
health authorities to require of the emf
ployer OF such child, whose employ
ment certificate Is not then filed, as
required by law, to produce within ten
days satisfactory evidence that the child
il over sixteen OF cease TO employ the
child.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-05-18
TWO PAPERS ARE MISSING.
LOOMS. However, viii Accept the
Copies.

Washington, May is. Minister Bow
en- called upon Secretary TAFT at the
War Department yesterday and told
him that two essential eablegrams were
missing from the papers handed him
Monday BY the Secretary. Secretary
Taft thereupon called upon the State
Department for the missing papers, but
they could not be found, although copies
were accessible and, indeed, Minister
Bowen himself had copies brought him
from Caracas Secretary Taft was will
ing that these should be regarded as
original. Mr.. LOOMS also consented to
accept the copies of the communications
in Mr.. Bowen's hands as sufficient. AS
soon as these papers have been received
by Secretary Taft he will refer them to
Mr.. LOOMS for furthr reply. 1t may
be necessary to send an agent TO Caracas
to prosecute the inquiry, but this has
not yet been decided upon.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-05-18
OSCAR TO DIspLAcE REGENT
The King May Sanction Separate Con
suls.

Christiania, Norway, May 18.--The
Tagblatt expresses tile belief that King
Oscar will reassume the reins Of gov
eminent on June /. This is regarded
as a seni-official intimation, and If il
turns ont to be correct, it means, pro-
baby, that King Oscar intends to sane
ton the Norwegian consular bill, thus
assuming direct responsibility for an
Act calculated to irritate his Swedish
subjects, rather than leave the respon-
sibilitv on the shoulders Of the crown
prince regent
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-05-18
SAVINGS BANK BILL SIGNED.
Loans Must Not Exceed 40 Per Cent of
Capital and Surplus.

Albany, May lis. Governor Higgins
yesterday signed the bill Of Senator
Stevens limiting the amount hank or
trust company may loan to any one
borrower to 10 per cent. Of its capital
stock and surplus and providing tIat
where such loans exceed one-tenth of
capital stock aud surplus t',s excess
must be secuted by collateral worth at
least Is per cent. more than the amount
thereof.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-05-18
Ambassador Mccormick III.

Paris, May IT, Owing to protracted
attack OF grippe, Ambassador McCor-
mick, on the advice of his physician,
has gone to Dieppe for short rest and
regeneration.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-05-18
READY FOR EQUITABLE PEACE.
Both Factions Said to Be Willing tt
Make Concessions.

New York, May 1s.--It Is now said
that both the Alexander and the Hyde
sides in the Equitable controversy are
willing 10 have the fight called OFT. Both
sides are beginning to realize that the
situation il getting beyond their con-
troll, and, fearing for their own inter-
ests. are willing to make concessions to
secure peace.
II Is said that William Nelson Crom-
we'll will shortly take hand in the
situation, acting as apaciiier' between
the factions Mr.. CromweIl's ability
to serve in this capacity has been il
Illustrated in several instances, not the
least notable being the late shipbuid-
ing investigation. Mr.. Cromwell, ae-
eording to the report, will appear nom
iially as counsel for the Equitable So
ciety, but his chief and only duty will
be 70 bring about harmony. Mfr. Crom-
we'll will not talk about the matter.
------~-------~-------
Mrs. Nurox What book can I get
that viii fit me to enter tile best So
cietyfs
Mrs Blusox Have Won tried the
check book Cleveland Leader.