Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-01-21

using de due langwudge what comes TO
him wit de second bottle. de example Of
de man who knows dat stocks is low and
buys into de market. Does he Cell out
when de price of stocks goes up? Not
HIM He buys more of em-and gets
stung.
Sir, dat man all his life sees dat stocks
dat go up go down. Does he know It? No
indeedy. Dat is to say he doesn't know dat
two and two are four. He sees dat stocks
go up and down, but he doesn't even know
dat dey must go down to go up. Dey go
up, OATS two; deyll go down, dat's anodder
two. Can he add dose two twos to-
gedder? Not in a million years. Him, and
some tousand odders like him. are chip
ping into de kitty for de support of de tree
or four men in all de country dat know de
two-and-two-is-four of Wall street.
WHISPERS has been stung in Wall street
lately like bull pup trying to steal honey
from a hive, so he don't noting funny
in de game Mr. Paul dopes 1t out, and
Mr.. Paul goes around anodder block to
show de way.
Let us take de case of man who IS
trying to break into society. De fact dat
society has TONED de key against him-for
if it hadn't he wouldn't have to break in
would be enough of a tip dat he wasn't
wanted if he had de happiness to know dat
two and two make four. De door is locked,
is two; he isn't wanted is anodder two
Can he add dose two twos? If he could
add EN- he'd see dat de four dey make is
dat folks don't make it pleasant for a man
who has broke into DER game against Il
locked door. But he passes up all such
logic. He bores his little holes, pours in de
powder, soaps up de cracks of de door sets
off de fuse, de door blows down wit loud
explosion and in he PUSHES"
Oats true" says Miss Fannie, wit a
little laugh. I've seen lots get in like
dat"
sure Mike" says Mr.. Paul. "Chames.
did you pull de plug from dat pint? Tanks
Well, when he gets in he thinks 1t viii be
all to de good after dat. A yeggman might
as well expect de glad hand from de coun-
try postmaster who is waiting for him wit
a pitchfork after he gets into de post
office by de manner ! has described. What
does society do to him? Not ting, Dey
pulls his leg dey has fun wit his wife and
children, dey sells him few gold bricks,
dey makes monkey of him, and has
merry-go-round wit him till dey woiks
him near de back door, and den he gets
de bounce-after his kit of burglar tools
has been took away from him. All he has
got out of it is a notice his press agent
paid for in his home paper, telling dat he
was de belle of de ball at de Van Amster-
built cotillon-where, for fact, he stood
all de evening behind de palms. under de
stairs and nobody talked to him but de
boss fiddler, who asked him If he couldn't
sneak a cold bottle for de orchestra, tink-
ing he was a headquarters detective look
ing out for de silver ware. All because he
could make a million dollars where most
men couldn't make wages-but he didn't
know dat two and two make four
II begins to see says Whiskers; 81 be-
gins 10 see, 1dui, udl you are dealing III
figures of speech. Your foist two is cause
your second two is action and your four Is
effect; de operation of cause producing eff
fects. All de same, l am of de opinion dat
dis present bulge in de market has come TO
stay, dat 1t is permanent"
Mr. Paul gives me de ghost of a wink over
his shoulder and he says, Probably so, sir.
De balloon being filed wit hot air went up,
and dis time will probably stay UP, dough
usually, when de air gets cold de traction
of gravitation brings de balloon down to
cart again wit dull tud. Did Chames get
dat bottle you asked for, sir
OF course most of dose woids de gents
used don't mean noting, but what / cops
ont of de American woids dey used is dis:
You is seldom asked to sit into a game of
poker because de gents who ask you thinks
YOU haven't got all de money you Is entitled
to- and dey wants to make up to you what
YOU are short. Dat goes for Wall street.
AS for society at de last dance OF de Rose
leaf Social and Lifesaving Club we had Just
enough boys and COILS to make up four sets;
likewise just enough beer for de party as 1t
was A husky lad from Cherry HILL who
was fond of dancing-and beer-chases into
de hall and says he was dere for to enjoy
de evening wit us. WE'LL well!
De foist ting he asked when de ambulance
doctor had mended him up was wedder 1t
was an explosion at de gas house or had he
been trun off de Brooklyn bridge.
Logic is a great ting on de Bowery OF on
Murray Hill, sure!