The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-24
HUMOR or EHE DAY

II HUA1QR OF THE DA1
Judge-You are charged with profanity
Jud 159s-S are. sir. What do you
mean? "a - -
Cleveland Leader
evvhat are you snorting -abeutap asked
the young walrus OF the old one "no was
perusing a scrap Of newspaper. ..
who says it's unhealthy 70 50 into me
ysgates- alter 4 meal How would we get It
# I've We didn ta1Phiiadeiphia Press
7 thought it was to be merely bezing
match but it looked to me llke Heai
ssEeai3 You BET it was reall One Of the
fighters was a stage 1rishman ana the
other was a genuine 1rishrnan. '-ChlessO
Tribune.
This flower is strictly up-to-date,' said
20 what INA do you mean by that2" asked
the prospective customer.
why" he explained 1T was oDlHiheU
by grating. ''-Detroit Free Press
If the sweet girl graduate of last June
hasn't got a school or an engagement
ring vet it IS high time for her to study
short hand and hustle around to get q
job at ritins-SoinefVliie journal
Goodness, but you are tight! said the
I'VE Wen YOU Ss see I've been on bust an
swerea the stays with a merry laugh
Louisville Courier-Journal,
s.As to the angels all being men, said
/ Uncle Allen Sharks, 7 Il ADMIT mere
guess the published list Of EN- is complete
and as for all the others, doesn't David
| tell US that man is made a iittle ieeer
\ than the angels2 I'm sorry for you, gen
| tlemen, but that settles the question OF
their sex.''-chieago Tribune.
| And YOU kissed Miss uglimugg? How
''Weil, you see. that's the only way I
| can keep her from singing. cleveland
1 Leader.
EIieks-Senator Dullard seems to have
/ acquired a reputation for wit.
Wicks-Yes. he was interviewed once by
| a bright reporter. Ledger
What kind of man is old whee-
zicks2" asked the new conner.
''Wheezicks2" said fhe other. Hes the
Il contrariest, most selfish old wretch that
ever lived When one of his teeth aches
there's not another tooth in his head that
Afanager-weren't you afraid to sleep in
Disguised Thespian-No; it was a real
comfort TO be in some place where the
That sign, seems queer: Headquarters
What's queer about it?'
We'll. I always thought pants were de-
Il signed for other quarters. Detroit Free
A Press.
rs it expensive sending your girls to
colege?''
7 should say So MY wife takes ad-
vantage of their absence to dress about 20
years younger than she really is."-Brook-
Ign Life.
I'm so thirsty" said the old lady. Can
you direct me to a soda water fountain in
soda water?'' exclaimed Weary Willie
IN in disgust +;Ts y lazy y9a dent dessrve
You say that you are using your in
auenee against all kinds Of tTickery in
YES" answered Mr.. Dustin stax. TIN
taking precious good care that nobody
ceived. '-Washington Star.
The race may not be to the swift
And then again it mays;
But it's not to the man who doesn't start,
! That s settled anyway
Chicago Record Herald.
Another one of those lobbyists ap-
preached me today with an insulting prop
sition.' said Congressman Graphter.
'tOh, JohnH' exclaimed his wife, then
you can anord to buy me. that sealskin
saeque now, can't you?"-PhiladeIphia
Ledger.
and turned to Morton. II suppose you
ne s.gg saw an allisgat .! he said. -,
IT'S what matches our chickens-it's a
great deal better than an old hem
Judge.
The Lady-Now since I have given you
a good dinner you may take this ak and
split some wood for me.
The Hobo-Id like ter oblge yollse
ma am, but I see dis ak wuz made by a
nonunlon nrna. an me senterments re-
me ter handle it.-Chieago Daily News.
Aseuul-T was SURPRISED r, hes,- ,,,,, ,yt-
Harduppe for the loan of a dollar. You
really didn't need II, did you?
Wiseman-No; but suspected he need
ed one, and simply forstalied him.
Philadelphia Press.