davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28
CARP THRIVE IN ARIZONA.
Lady Resident Of That State vouehes
for Fact,

Lady Resident Of That State vouehes
for Fact.
About year ago little son of Mr..
and Mrs. Z. F. Van Kirk picked up a
little fish on the desert north of town
That is. it was formerly desert, but
has been reclaimed. and the fish prob
ably found his way into the field
through an irrigating canal. Anyhow
he was lively youngster of the carp
variety, and the boy was very fond of
him.
The fish was thrown into a pond in
nearby pasture and no more atten-
tion was paid to the fact except by the
child, who during the year has caught
sight of the fish occasionally while he
was playing near the pond. The pond
has been gradually drying up since the
shortage of water in the canals, and
yesterday it got so low the fish was
seen fioundering around and was final.
ly captured.
From a minnow it had grown in a
year to S1e pounds. and there was a
fish carnival at the Van Kirk ranch
last evening. In justice to the reader
1t should be stated that these facts are
unimpeachable, as they are furnished
by Mrs. Van Kirk and not by her hus
the matter of weight. being engaged
in the cattle business.-AriZona Re
publican.
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28
Making Walnut More Plentiful.

That remarkable California scien-
tist who has been producing all sorts
Of fruit freaks, including pitless
peaches and seedless berries. has
turned his attention to other lines of
effort. He now announces that by
crossing different varieties of walnuts
he has evolved a tree which makes
the fastest growth of any known. This
is held to be the most important of
any Of his discoveries. as it has dis
tinct and direct commercial value
Walnut wood is now very scarce and
high-priced. as much as $3.50 to $500
thousand feet being paid for it for
manufacturing purposes. The profess
sor alleges that by using his process
the wood can be produced so rapidly
and cheaply that it will be in abund-
ant supply for future making. ETC.,
and may even be sold as fuel for
stoves and CRATES. If all that is claim
ed can be verified he will put graft
ing to most beneficial use.
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28
Joke on Countryman.

A young countryman was on his way
to Wichita, Kan. on Decoration day,
and confided to some mischievous fel-
low travellers that he intended getting
a marriage license in that city. One
of the other passengers said that 1t
being a holiday no license would be Is
sued unless by authority of Gov. Hoch.
This declaration was indorsed by all
the conspirators. so when the country
man reached Wichita he appealed to
the governor, who was there. GOV.
Hoch Joined in the joke and gave the
yu,ug man the following. written on
his personal card: ITO the Probate
Judge of Sedgwick County and Whom
It May Concern: All laws which in
ary way interfere with the marriage
of this young man. the bearer. on this
date are hereby declared null and void.
e. w. Hoch, Governor of Kansas
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28
WAS A BROTHER INDEED.
Robert srownins's Proper Recognition
Of Chinese Poet.

Ara.rew D. White tells this story oil
Robert Browning. The poet one morn
ing, hearing a noise in the street pe-
fons his house, went to his window and
saw a great crowd gazing at some
Cinnamon in gorgeous costumes VINO
were Just leaving their carriages 10
mount his steps. Presently they were
announced as the Chinese minister at
the court of St. James and his suite.
A solemn presentation having taken
place, Browning said to the interpret
er, May l ask to what l am indebted
for the honor of his excellency's Wis
itf" The Interpreter replied: His ex-
cellency is a poet in his own country.
Thereupon the two poets shook hands
heartily. Browning then said: May
ask to what branch of poetry his ex-
cellency devotes himself" To which
the interpreter answered: His ex-
cellency devotes himself to poetical
enigmas." At this Browning, recog-
nizing fully the comic element In the
situation, extended his hand most cor
daily, saying: His excellency is
thrice welcome; he is a brother In
desd!"
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28
LOOKS LITTLE LIKE TYRANT.
Chief Russian Reaetionary a Man Of
Gentle Mien.

In his book of "reminiscences An
drew d. White, the American diplomat
and man of letters, paints vivid pen
picture of NJ. De Pobedonostzen as
procurator of the Russian synod-the
man who embodied everything that
was tyrannous in civil as well as re-
ligious life. Mr.. White represents him
as appearing to be a kind and gentie
old man, very human as to exterior
and bearing no resemblance to ones
ideal of an inquisitor. The author.
while talking to a Russian woman OF
ancient lineage who ardently desired
reasonable reform, referred to the pro-
curator's mild manners and mentioned
a rumor that the old man talked OF
retiring to private life. Don't. l beg
of you, tell me that" said the aristo-
crat, "for / have always noticed that
whenever such a report is circulated 1t
is followed by some new scheme OF his
even more Internal than those preced-
ing it."
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28
DIVORCE AMONG THE RICH.
idleness a Great Cause Of Matrimonial
Disaqreements.

In the shocking cases of perfidy
and of unfaithfulness to the marriage
vow among our wealthier classes. the
root Of the matter lies. as in SO many
other sorts of sin, In idleness. The
absence of strenuous. compulsory oc-
cupation is in itself temptation to
crime. The idle man or woman,
whose sole interest in life is in the
pursuit of pleasure inevitably becomes
sated with its different forms. All OF
the ingenuity which can be expended
upon inventions of new sorts of food,
new ways of serving. new entertain
ment, really avails little. After all is
said and done banquet is only BAN
quet, a cotillon is only a cotillon, and
even operas and theaters after a few
years begin to seem strangely and
DULY alike. A new emotion, a new
sensation-something which money
can not buy-this becomes the only
fresh and desirable thing on earth
Leslies Weekly.
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28
THEN THE LAWYER SAW.
coIored Witness Left No Doubt as to
His Meanjnu


Down in Mobile there is darky, a
carpenter by trade. who. according to
Mr.. John Sharp Williams, has a local
reputation for quickness at repartee.
1t appears that not many months ago
Bolts, for that is the darky's name.
was subpoenaed as witness in a
case tried in one of the justice courts
in Mobile. Although the attorney who
took Bolts in hand for cross-examina-
ton was needlessly severe in his treat
ment of the colored carpenter the lat
ter exhibited admirable patience and
self-control. The two got along fair
ly well till the witness was asked as
to his occupation.
Use carpenter, sah?" said Bolts.
what kind of a carpenter" asked
tie attorney.
"Dey calls me jack-leg carpenter
sah."
"Jack.leg carpenter," sharply reiter.
ated the lawyer. what is a jack-leg
carpenter?"
We'll, sab. jack-leg carpenter is
ter who amt a fust-class carpenter"
81 fail to understand you," said the
attorney, more sharply than before
you'll have to be more exact. What
are we to understand by a jack-leg
carpenter"
We'll, sab, mebbe it might be ex-
planned better by sayin' dat de diff
f'rence is just about de same as be-
tween you and fust-class lawyer"
responded Bolts with a broad grim
New York Times.
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28
a...t Revival Of Buddhism.

DER Buddhist" the German organ
Of Buddhism, gives an interesting ac'
count of the revival of this ancient re-
lision. The study Of the Pail, 1t says
has revealed to educated men in the
Western world the hidden stores OF
Buddhism, which soon began to exert
a constantly growing influence on
western thought. having found the
ground prepared by the philosophy oil
Schopenhauer. This revivification OF
Buddhist ideas reacted powerfully on
the Orient. and newly founded socie'
ties. schools and newspapers in Bud
dhist Asia are proving that fresh
yigor has found it's way into the old
tree. The revival is especially notice,
able in Ceylon and India.
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28
RECIPE

Ribbon sandwiehes.-Spread sew.
eral slices of bread with butter and
some dark colored filling. Pile on top
of one another and gently press to.
gether. With very sharp knife cut
rather thin slices from top to bottom
There will be a striped appearance
and decided palatability.
Corn Puffs.-Blend thoroughly one
and .one-half cupfuls of unskimmed
milk and the yolks of two eggs. Add
two cupfuls of -four, and one cupful OF
best granular cornmeal. Beat the bat
ter thoroughly; stir in lightly the
whites of the eggs. beaten to a stiff
froth. turn into heated irons, and
bake.
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28
Teatrjcal Frenchman.

Not long ago distinguished French
tragedian visited Greece. and when he
saw the Parthenon he was overcome
with emotion. Surrounded by poets.
artists and archaeologists. he suddenly
dropped upon his knees and then lay
full length. kissed the dust twice. and
cried, Holy ground! Holy ground!"
His companions gazed ct him respect
fully, much impressed by his homage
to the soil. AS they were about to quit
kissed it fervently anew. Then he
the scene, he detained them by a
gesture. They thoubht he was going
to make a speech; but to their sur
prise he dropped to earth again. and
rose and uttered the simple words.
That is for my brother!
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28

"Hi don't understand why my wife
his so hinfernal jealous" remarked
Captain Hill, of the schooner Whydah,
to his mate. who was busily putting
patch on the seat of pair of dung
aree trousers, "she thinks every wom-
an who drops her heyes on my bloom
in face falls dead in love with me-"
THAT shows the foolishness of wom-
en-" replied the mate, fiourishing his
needle and speaking in an argumenta-
tive tone, anybody with eyes could
see no woman's goin to fall in love
with you"
Hid ave you to understand, Mr.
Jenkins" began the skipper wrath
fully, but his emotions choked him
and Fastening on deck he said some
words over the side which caused the
cook. who had been attending Saliva
tion Army meetings to groan in his
spirit
The schooner was to sail that even
ing from Shoreham for London and
the skipper went home ito bid his wife
farewell.
When he came down to the quay he
was carrying, with visible effort.
large portmanteau. while a boy fol-
lowed with another. Behind the pro-
cession stalked a tall. angular woman.
"I didn't know Mrs. Hill was going
with u.s." exclaimed the mate to the
skipper. while Mrs. Hill exchanged
some vigorous remarks with the boy
concerning the dropping of the port
manteau he was carrying.
.Jf didn't Gpou until n
'alf hour ago." replied the captain.
with intense gloom.
The mate looked at Mrs. Hill with
visible perturbation. then his face
frightened and he helped that lady
aboard with Difference.
Mrs. Hill declined going into the
cabin. preferring to witness the get
ting of the vessel under way.
AS the skipper stood on the break
Of the poop the mate made a slight
motion of his hand inviting him far
ther forward. and when the two were
out of earshot of Mrs Hill the mate
said in a whisper:
There's Teddy aboard"
"Leddy." exclaimed the captain.
what sort of Ieddy2g
The way of it's this" said the
mate. speaking very fast as II he
didn't want any gap left for an inter
ruption, "old Captain Tomlinson
brought his daughter around with HIM
from Lunnon. She was to go back
with i'm when he sailed at noon to-
day, but the cranky old cuss got full
o. spirits and sailed away without her.
The poor girl had no money to go
back by railroad and no friends in
Shoreham, so she asked me If she
couldn't go back on this hooker. | felt
so bad about her trouble that I said
she could. |. told her to get into my
cuddy ami I'd fix 1t all right with you"
The skipper stared at the mate as
II he was looking at ghost.
"Tomlinson." he gasped. "Tomlin-
sons daughter, why he hisn't mar
ried."
"Oh. yes he is" retorted the mate.
confidently. II was at the wedding
He married a red-haired woman. This
daughter of his is lovely gal; you
jest ought to see her.
Captain Hills face was pallid with
horror.
THAT gal in your cuddy in the cab
in of the Whydah." he murmured,
George. hif my wife knows that gal
schooner"
Don't you worry about that" re.
piled the mate. I'm no man to get
other people in trouble. I'll pass her
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28
Criticism of American Girls.

Lady Helen Forbes. in an English
woman's periodical. has been consider
ing "how superior product the Amer
lean girl is to the American man."
But going further. she spoils this state
ment by adding that this product" is
educated for conquest" At the age
when the European girl is thinking Of
dolls and chocolates the American girl,
she says, is taking a connoisseur's in
terest in her dress and personal ap-
pearance. and while her European con-
temporary is still plunged in shyness
and gaucherie" she is dreaming not
so much of lovers as of husbands"
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28
manv Learning Japanese.

A teacher of languages says that
the war in the far east has given a
great boom to the japanese tongue.
Before this Russo-Jap contest began"
he said, 81 didn't have single pupil
receiving instruction in the Japanese
language; now have forty-two OF
them and they are under the care of
two japanese instructors. AS for Rus
sian, the war does not seem to have
aroused any ambition In our people to
learn the language. I have Just seven
pupils in my Russian class at pres
ent."
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28

an astonished glance at the plate.
shes one of these hearty English
girls you read o." replied the mate.
cheerfully.
Mrs. Hill retired early. but the skip
per fingered on deck. His perturbed
mind was soothed by the peace of the
night. AS he passed the sky-light he
looked down and beheld the mate. car
rying a full glass of spirits to the
cuddy.
Captain Hill rubbed his head
whats the women of Hengland
a-comin' to-" he muttered, that was a
dram for coal stoker."
The next morning Mrs. Hill an
nounced at the breakfast table that
she intended giving the captains
cuddy a complete renovation and ac-
cordingly the cook carried down pals
of water and several swabs. This
work was finished in short order, and
then she turned to Mr.. Jenkins with
smile. I'm going to clean up your
room. too" she called: I'm sure it
needs it,
The mate turned pale and so did the
skipper.
I've jest had my cuddy cleaned"
he stammered. "the cook cleaned 1t
while we were at Shoreham."
why didn't he clean the captains.
too?" asked Mrs. Hill.
The mate thought for a moment
and would doubtless have admirably
explained the omission of the cap
tain's cuddy from the renovation, bat
before he could open his lips a sneeze
sounded from the closed cuddy.
Somebody's in there" exclaimed
Mrs. Hill, looking with stony eye
at the wretched skipper.
That gentleman's lips were too dry
to articulate, but the mate said:
at was the cook wot sneezed. He's
an awful cold"
THE person who sneezed Is in this
room" said Mrs. Hill, shortly, who
is it?"
The mate and skipper looked at
each other in affrighted silence.
who's in there, Henry?" demanded
Mrs. Hill, with rising infection OF
voice.
Nobody spoke.
Henry" said Mrs. Hill, calmly.
open that door"
Hits the mates ROOM" murmured
the skipper.
Then tell him to open it; you are
master of the ship"
George" said the skipper, feebly
"hopen that there door,"
Mr.. jenkins, with an air of des-
peration, unlocked the door and open
ed 1t.
Mrs. Hill, quivering with righteous
scorn. looked upon the bold-faced gir
or rather she looked upon a burly
man lying in the mates bunk-an i'll
dressed man with a two days growth
of bristles on his chin. He stared
sheepishly at his observers and sale
nothing.
Who's that?" calculated the skip
per, turning to the mate.
Mr.. jenkins closed the door and lee
the captain on deck.
Hes pore fellow" said he, who.
in trouble with the perlice on accoun
of desertin' from ship. l agreed t.
smuggle him to Lunnon and, as l wa.
him in my cuddy. | thought l coul,
get him to Lunnon without your know
in it,
What made you say it was q led
dy?" demanded the skipper.
"Cause knew then with Mrs. Hi
aboard you'd dare not run the risk c
puttir' him ashore"
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28
Woman Chaplain O, pi,o+s

Mrs. Mary B. Greene of Pittsburg
has been elected chaplain by Harbor
No. 2. American Association of Mas
ters and Pilots. Mrs. Greene thus has
the distinction of being the only wom-
an officeholder in the order. She is
the wife of Capt. Gordon c. Greene.
one of the best known river men and
boat owners in that section of the
country. Some time ago she was
granted masters license, and at
present is in charge of a steamer run
ming between Pittsburg and Charles
ton, W. Va.
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28

Certainly; she's promised to keep
as still as a mousse
When the Whydah pointed her nose
up channel Mrs. Hill had her luggage
carried below and followed it. The
skipper kept casting alarmed looks at
the mates cuddy. but Mrs. Hill was
busy arranging the captains room and
paid no heed to the cabin.
AT supper, after Mrs. Hill had fin
ished and gone on deck. the skipper
encountered the mate on his way to
the cuddy with an enormous pile of
victuals on plate.
"She must be 'earty young Teddy
to eat hall that" he remarked, with
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28
Wasner's "Hieh Treason"

Richard Wagner, the composer, was
an ardent republican in 1s49. In the
archives Of Dresden there has Just
been unearthed a document setting
forth case of high treason against
the musician. He was accused of hav.
ing written to friend letter pro-
posing to turn Saxony into a republic.
But whom shall we make PRESIDENT"
he asked. II see nobody competent
for the office except our present SOW.
ereign, Frederick Augustus H." Fred.
erick Augustus does not seem to have
appreciated the humor of the sugges
ton that he should doff the crown and
content himself with the dignity of a
republican president. For this flash
of unconscious fun Wagner had to
bolt to Switzerland.
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28
woman,s GIFTS to New York.

Mrs. Frederick Ferris Thompson of
New York is an unknown woman-in
a public sense, that is to say-who is
doing handsome things with her mon
ey without the embarrassment of con-
ditions. She has erected a physical
culture building for the Teachers col
lege, in New York, costing s350,00O.
A library building which she gave Vas
sar took 100000. and a college chapel
building for Williams college, costing
s4co 900, will be dedicated in few
days.
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28
Began Career as MILDLY.

Sir Clements r. Markham. who has
just retired from the presidency Of
the British Royal Geographical So
ciety, began life as a midshipman IN,
the old days of sailing ships, and n
love of travel dates from that period
One of his earliest expeditions was to
the Arctic regions, where he served
under Commodore Austen in his
search for Franklin. Lieut., McClin-
took. who became famous afterward
as a successful Arctic explorer, was
Of the party.
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28
A Love Soma,

Beloved thou hast been to me
AS some most fair and favored isle,
Surrounded by waveless sea
And bright meath heavens sunniest
smile.
Would be to one who. wandering
From where depends the cold north sky,
Locks out with hope the day will bring
The Southern seas tranquility.
Rcneath a sky all dense and dark,
With radiance rarely falling through
The clouds that hovered DER my bark,
bid / my drthry way pursue;
The fairy isle is still afar.
Afar the skies with sunshine blest;
mi Hone will be my guiding star
And Love will aid me in the quest.
John F.ngene Butler, in Brooklyn EaE1A
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28

The unshaved man had a passage
to London, but when the schooner was
at the wharf the skipper addressed
the mate.
George" said he. sis old Captain
Tomlinson married?"
Nav" answered Mr.. Jenkins. I've
known him for years. He's not mar
ried."
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28
The Modern Slave.

While modern civilization has abol-
ished involuntary servitude. it has in
troduced another form of slavery
which is responsible for more prema-
ture deaths than ever was attributed
to the old.time human bondage. The
ancient slave was often forced to SUBJ
sist upon miserable food. and to eat at
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28
Too Much Responsibility.

Have you decided where you will
spend the summer"
NO" answered Mr.. Kepdown, I'm
going to let my wife decide this year.
She used to wake me up in the dead
of night last summer to remind me
that picked the place out. - Detroit
Tribune
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28
1ul.. u.rne,. Manuserlpts.

A search among the unpublished
manuscripts of Jules Verne has re-
vealed the existence of sixteen dra-
matte works-nine being in verse and
seven in prose-nine novels, two his
tories and two works entitled, respec-
lively, Travels in England and Scot
land" and paris in the twentieth
Century"
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28

the word to stay in the cuddy till we
gets to Lunnon. Wen be there by
noon tomorrow at the latest and
after your wife leaves she can go. I'll
smuggle some grub into her"
"Hitll never do. George" said the
skipper. nervously. "she must go
hashore."
why" expostulated the mate, ltd
never do for her to so now. If Mrs.
Hill was to see us a-putting a gal
ashore jest as the vessel was sailin'
she'd think all kinds O. things and I
wouldn't blame her"
Are you sure you can keep her in
tho euddy?" asked the skipper.
The Lamar register., 1905-06-28

Copyright 1905. by Daily Story Pub. Coz
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-09-21
FIGHT WITH HUGE SEA BAT.
Fish That Leaps Into the Air and
Turns a Somersault.

Turns a Somersault.
Imagine a jet black bat of fifteen or
more feet across, with a long, slender
tail, the fins rising and falling like
wings with a motion the perfection of
grace; wings jet black above, pure
white below; flashing alternately
black and white as the fishes turned
and swung alone, standing out against
the mauve tint of the bottom with
wonderful distinctiyeness. They bore
a remarkable resemblance to bats and
were the bats of the sea-.
AS the dinghy moved nearer | saw
that rare sp~ectacle-a huge ray turn
completely over, throwing a somer
sault as it swung around, a picture of
grace, yet eve losing its position.
presenting for a few seconds beautiful
lines attuned to perfect grace. | was
fascinated by this singular perform.
ance. characteristic of these giant
fishes, and might have remained in
active had not the dinghy reached a
point when it was apparent they must
see US.
| permitted one, two, three to go
slowly whirling on, then, selecting
one that was headed up the lagoon in
the direction of the cul-de-sac, | hurled
the a~uivering grain pole into the black
shadow just as it was about to turn.
| heard the quick thud, saw the pole
leap from the socket. heard the In
dian plying his oar to head the dinghy
up the reef, and then the very bottom
of the sea seemed to rise into the air
as the great batlike creature rose
bodily from a maelstrom of spray, Of
fering a vision Of beating wings that
deluged boat and occupants; then 1t
fell with a ~resounding crash, the big
waves from the impact careening the
dinghy.-Metropolitan Magazine.