New-York tribune., 1905-11-15
THE TALK OF THE DAY.
TO BURBANK OF CALIFORNIA.

TO BURBANK OF CALIFORNIA.
1.-THE poe. of Tho Chicago Record-Her.Id'' calls on
Luther Burbank to produce a boneess fish,
Don't waste your time on boneless fish;
We have them now; the canned sardine
And boneIess cod. you we'll know,
In every country store seen.
But shelIess oysters would like.
And shelless CLAIMS would also hail;
And Holsters and the toothsome crab
without their horny coats of mail
Would also like stingless bee.
Mosquito without song or bite.
A jumpless flea and wingless fly.
That will not fly away at sight.
But IL you'd gain the worlds applause
And heap up piles of shining cash,
A dogless sausage please invent,
And then produce hairless hash.
FITZ NIGLE.
an Irish.na within sight of an old salloWs,
Pat. do you see that?
ITO be sure OF do" replied Pat.
"And where would you be If the galiows had its
due?'
s'oid be riding alone" replied Pat.-Philadelphia
Ledger.
The Cnickasha Il. Tt Express reprints this
from one of it's terit torial exchanges: Sing a
song of pestilence a fellow full of rye, four and
twenty serpents dancing in his eye; when his eyes
were opened he shouted Tor his life. Wasn't he d
pretty chump to go before his wife? His hat
the parlor underneath the chair; his boots were
in the hallway his coat a chair his trous-
ers in the kitchen. his collar shelf, but he
hasn't any notion where he himself; when the
breaking. heard him call-his
head the cebox, which the best of
all
LIFE INSURANCE IN CACTUS CENTRE.
Hades popped in Cactus Centre. when. jest like a
The life insurance question hit us on the 18th
1t began when Gila Hawkins said insurance men
Said the hull cadoodle of EN- would stuff aces up
their sleeves
He was took up. by Slim Johnson. who's been
An before we cleared the barroon there was three
Slim s1 went shootin to his office an he got four
i,e on IN S6e Ciis Tay ra;l;n af., winged fsv with
shots astray.
So we laid siege to the office, an punctured
An laid him and ella Hawkins. with their wounds
dressed, side by side.
out On the be bed 81. nt,,,,n -. -.
last breath said:
81 apologize. most humble. Slim. fur you're
But YOU s1 haSs Ss tdrhsd hslR aaush" at the trick that
Fer you've. dealt your graftin bosses quite hard
The joke is on you Johnson--Im insured with
-(Denver Republican
The editor of that luminous paper .'The Lees
Vile New Light delivers himself OF this uIti-
matum: Anybody who don't like this paper can
lump it,.
well doctor. your treatise is ready to 20 to
press. What are you going to do about an ap-
Cut il out"-tHouston Post
George Hewlett, of Beacons Bottom England
has published in local newspaper the following
handsome testimonial: 81 beg to say that William
Stevens of Town End. Radnage. measured for
a suit of clothes. which made by his son
Vernon, then lad. 7 have the on
SUNDAYS and at other times for forty-seven years
and they are good now. and not stitch has given
way"
Rucolic-It was n country road
The automobile was sweeping down at high
RrectIv in it's track an old man leisurely sham
bled behind two cows which he escorting
VVben the machine almost on top of them
one of the occupants angrfly called out why
don't you get out of our way? Do you want to
Wen" responded the farmer dryly, II was jest
rumnatin' which d be the most profitable: to let
,o,, nm over them cows or run over me!"-fBrook-
lyn Life.
anol,s News" used to tell this story about the
r,,,atante Society: The qualification for member
chin 1.s that the candidate had been met in Italy
bv .ba proposing member, but once 1t happened
that q candidate elected who had been met
81 .v,qnon The error discovered. and the
society nroceeded to vote that. in the opinion
of the society Avignon is in Italy Ihis now
eyer seemed tickiish precedent TO establish, SO
the gravely laid their heads together and sol
.r,n,,r resolved in a further motion that. in the
opinion Of this society. Avignon Is the ony town
I'm Franco which is I'm Italy.
Seems Prosperous.--Church-Doe your friend
Maefstrdy seem 10 be prosperous ,.s
Gotham--Why. yes; he is about 10 De in'esiF
eated-( Yonkers Statesman