Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-02-18
THE PROPER PHRASE


ped Off the car at an avenue corner. anu
then started along his route.
His face looked like comic supplement
in composite.
AS he walked. he chuckled and joggled
his head from side to side.
He talked to himself. and then laughed
out loud over the things he said to himself.
He acted like man sitting in skin, all
by himself. out in the middle Of stream.
with jug Of red bait alongside of him.
Pedestrians whom he passed looked him
over wonderingly, and asked each other II
there had been any breaking out OF the in
mates of the foolish house on the brow Of
the butte across the Eastern branch.
once In while, as he walked Jerkily
along, the grinning Individual. who. despite
his apparent mental fnf1rmities, was well
dressed and prosperous-looking. would give
his thigh whack, and then he would
crack his fingers one after another, and
gurgle idiotically.
He was drooler. right. when he burst
into the first cafe that he struck, and, es-
plying little knot Of his gang lined up al
the bar. gasped:
"Fellers. it's a great big hod-carrier of a
boy!''
OF course they appreciated his state OF
mind. and SO they did not ridicule him ex-
cessively. Such random cracks as Dear
me suz!' and Gosh all fshhooks!" broke
from them, but he heard them not
He was too busy ordering He instructed
the head barkeep to pass up sample OF
everything that ne had in the wickieup
and then let the fellers see what they
wanted or needed
Then he cracked his fingers some more
and went on adding more creases to his in
effaceable grin.
His cronies tried to bring him back to
terra firma by saying. Here's to you and
the little piano-mover, Jack" but he didn't
hear 'em. He was just sailing. that's all
In an airship 300 feet-long and circling Mt
Shasta with wireless steering gear.
He wouldn't give his pals a chance to
hurl one in before he had forced the bar
keep to stick others of 1.-The same In front
OF them. They tried to call halt by tell
ing him that they had wives at home and
dinners to eat and the proprieties Of life to
observe, but he wasn't listening.
Whatchoo think O. that, fellers-a boy
ana bigger'n nne-foot crossing cop!'-
this was all he knew
After while he suddenly recollected that
he had only begun the tour and, still talk
Ing to himself and drooling, he settled the
score, shook hands all round with the
bunch. and started for the next plant down
the row.
Here he went through the performance
all over again.
At his third stopping place, however, he
struck a snag.
One of his most intimate friends and
business associates looked depressed and
gloomy when the grinning new-dad sang
out "Fellers it's a boy!" and shook his
head sadly when invited up to the bar with
the rest.
ent somewhere near the ground. He gazed
in astonishment at his treat-decinine
friend
Hey, what ais you, Jim?" he inquired OF
ms reluctant friend. the smile going out OF
his face. "Aint you going to join me?'
His friend shook his mead sadly again
and smiled wanly
No, Jack" he said. huskily. 81 couldn't
thlnk or It, Honest Injun 1 couldn't. Have
to let me out"
At this the new parent looked nightly
grieved.
Amt you drinkng?" he asked.
On m taking my toddy all right, Jack
same as usual" the intimate friend of the
new parent replied, gloomily.
ON, yare, hey? testify inquired the
parent FORTH -first-time. well, what kind
OF a friend do you call yourself. then. in
holding out on me when I'm inviting Won r.
nave one on the-the kid?'
His friend shifted uneasfly to tho otbe,
leg, and then, gazing straight into the eve
OF the new dad, he inquired
UP at your house?"
Why" quickly responded the nev, mar.
enl, boy-a bouncing boy" -f
ia. Now it's all right" yelled the new
daa friend making the bar at one bound
dickens
didn't you say so before?' t.-II3~'. -
, Say what before. you fathead?" INQUIRED
the mystihed parent of the new infant.
nat 1t was bouncing boy" cheeriIv re-
plled his friend. How'd you happen to
lose out on your lines like that? Just a
pain boy. you said without any bounce to
MN! I've been forced and bulldozed into
getting orrey-eyed over new boys for some.
thlng ike quarter Of a century but they
We're all bouncing, announced as such al
the go-on, and blamed if you aren't the first
that ever drifted my way that broke the
joyful news with the unprecedented an
nouncement that it was just "a boy There
about it, and it knocked me into a cooked
hat. l couldn't think of drinking to one OF
EN- that wasn't bouncing. | don't know
how they get by with their job of bouncing
considering their tender age and all that
but that's the way it's always framed up
they're all bouncers-and l wasn't going tc
switch my luck by tossing any ffagon of,
to one of them that wasn't next to the
bouncing business. Not much was L.!
Then it was all right The creases and
tolds of the grin crept back to the counte.
nance of the new dad and after a while he
went his way. instructed.
AT late hour that night he was still
making the rounds, but he had so amended
the announcement that he delivered IT this
WaT:
"Fellersh. ish bounshin' boy-an Inia
rubber bounsher from Bounshersyilie
I Bounsh County. and y can shtick a pin il
that sho's you'll member it, shee? Wasf