Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1905-12-10

Mark Twain Samuel L. C!emens),
the greatest OF living humorists, was
the guest Of honor the other night ut
dinner at Delmonico's In New York
given hy Colonel George Harvey In
honor OF the humorists seventeen birth.
day anniversary
William Dean Howells was called up
on TO offer the toast to Mr.. Clemens.
lie said he would make it In the form
OF double harrclcd sonnet, and pro.
posed the health OF the Father OF tho
American Joke, with the wish that Ire
might live as long as he liked. Mr.
lIowells then read the following poem:
traveller from tho old world. just en-
Our customs with his life, had found his
way
10 place uptown. where colossus
shaped
Itself. skyscraper high against the day.
\ vast smile. dawnins from Its mighty
lips
Like sunshine on IT'S visage seemed TO
brood
One eye winlSed in perpetual eclipse:
In the other huge tear OF pity stood.
Wisdom in chunks about its temples
shone
It's measureless bulk groteseue cxultant
rose,
and, while Titanic puissanco clothed It on,
Patience with foreigners was In it's pose.
So that. what art thou7' tho cmboldcned
traveller spoke,
And II replied: II am the American Joke
VI am the joke that laughs tho proud 10
scorn;
mock t.; cruelty: Danish caro-;
] cheer the lonely. clipper tho forlorn;
bill Tho orrressor and hypocrite be-
ware.
tell the tale that makes men cry for 10y:
l bring the laugh that has 10 hate in It:
In mo heart OF age l wake the undying
My big stick blossoms witt, u thornless
wit.
The lame dance with delight in me: my
mir,h
Teaches the deaf untrumpeted: the blind
My point can seN Jolly the whole earth
but most love TO jolly my own kind.
Joke OF people great. gay bold and free
type their master mood. Mark Twain
made me-
Humorist, philosopher and poet spoke
IN turn III Mark Twaln's speech on
How 10 Get to BE Seventy and Not
Mind It. In answer 10 the toast. Ho
began with II whimsical diary OF his
first day, rccitcd In that ininitable
drawl quaint formulate for promoting Al
reliable longevity, ana then Ia voice
low, yet resonant and clear. and i'll
words which flowed as If to music far
away. he told OF life beyond the allot-
ted span. His auditors at first were
convulSed with laughter; they were be-
Guilcd into delightful byways. and
when the last line was SPOKEN they
were on the verge OF tears.
Il remember that first birthday well,"'
said Mr.. Clemens. Whenever think
OF 1t it is with Indignation Every
Thing was 90 crude, so unaesthetic.
Nothing was really ready. was born,
you know, with q high and delicate
aesthetic taste. And then think of it
had no hair. no teeth, no clothes.
And ! had 10 50 to my first banquet
like that.
And everybody came swarming IN.
II, WAS the nerest little hamlet IN the
Dackwooda OF Missouri where never
anything happened AZ ull. All interest
conferred II lac that day. They came
with that peculiar provincial curiosity
10 oa'l NE over and to see If / had
brought anything fresh in my particu-
lar line. Why, was the only thing
that had happened In the last three
months. and l came very near being
The only thing that happened there In
two whole years.
They gave their opinions No one
had asked them, but they gave them,
and they were all just green with pref I
udicc. | stood it al long as-welI you
know, | WAS born courteous. stood
it for about an hour; then the worm
turned. l was the worm. 1t was ms |!
turn to turn, and did turn. l knew
the strength OF 10y position knew
that / was the only spotcssly pure
person In that camp, and | just came
out and told them so.
ut was so true that they could
mako no answer ut all. They merely I!
blushcd and went away Well. that
was my cradle song, and now / am
singing my swan song. II is a far
stretch from That first birthday 20
This, the scventicth. Just think of 1t,
'"The SEVENTEEN birthday! 1t is the
time of life when you arrive ut new
aud awful dignity; when YOU may
throw aside the decent reserves which
have oppressed YOU for generation
and stand unafrald and unaha shed up-
on your seven terraccd summit and
look down and each-unrebukcd. You
can tell the world how You got there.
1t Is what they all do. have been
anxious to explain my own system tins
long time, and now at last | have tie
eight
Il have achieved my seventy years in
the usual way-by sticking strictly to
scheme of life which would kill any
body else. 1t sounds like an exaggcra-