davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Scrap-Book History.

Gov. Warield of Maryland has had
made a large scrapbook Of newspaper
clippings on the death Of Lloyd
Lowndes, Of his state, to be filed in
the state archives at Annapolis. He
says: 81 believe it Is the first time
that any History of the death Of . gov
ernor of Maryland has ever been COM
piled, and 1 propose to take care Of
predecessors, and trust that my exam
pie may be followed by my sue
cessors."
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Ioka an the Inautsitur.

During the South African war the
Censorship Of soldiers letters home
was very strict One soldier, who al
ways sent an account Of the doings Of
the regiment, which account was al
ways blotted cut by the censor, laid
Q plan for revenge. At the foot Of
his next letter he wrote: Look under
the stamp" The censor did 50, after
spending considerable time in steam
ing the stamp from the envelope. And
he found these words: WAS II hard
to get on"
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
KAN Women Out.

In most Of the dog hospitals in New
York there is q rule against admitting
women to the wards. No small part Of
the science Of doctoring dogs lies in
keeping them cheerful away from home.
The sight Of q woman seems to make
them think OF home and the Preside;
they get excited when q skirt blows In
sight, and correspondingly depressed
when 1t disappears. So no dog doctor
who understands dog psychology lets
his patients see a woman II he can
help IL.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Success In Music.

Caruso, the celebrated Italian opera
tenor, IL the son Of an engineer in
Naples. His father, on finding that
the lad preferred music to mechanics,
turned him out Of doors, remarking:
Follow your fancy, and when It
brings you to grief do not count on
me-" When he entered upon his term
Of military service an oficer with q
musical taste took him in hand and he
was allowed to practice in peace. At
that time he could barely read and
write. Now he is the most famous
tenor Of the day, never singing for
less than $500 q performance.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Servant Problem in England.

Evidently the servant problem is
driving people crazy in England, too.
The following advertisement is from
the London Morning Post:
Wanted.-Immediateiy for Brighton. q
superior old-fashioned woman as good
cook; age between 80 and 45; wages G2S TO
begin with; washing money. but no beer:
Protestant; also for the same situation a
strong between maid; age about Is; wages
sl2 and rise, washing money.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Bluebird Nest in Hail Box.

A bluebird which took possession of
a mail box on the South road in
Woodstock last year and successfully
raised two brOods of little ones
promptly returned this spring, rebuilt
her home. deposited five eggs therein
and is now waiting patiently for the
appearance of her little family. The
owners of the box have abdicat-
ed in her favor. putting up another box
for their own accommodation.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Quite "Slangy."

In a recent article on political condi-
lions in England. Justin Mccarthy
quotes the expression: by the skip Of
his teeth" and parenthetically apollo
gizes for using what he calls such a
vulgar expression" Humorous writers
are enjoying a laugh at Mr.. McCarthy's
expense. calling his attention to the
nineteenth chapter of Job. twentieth
verse. where he may find the words: Il
am escaped with the skin of my teeth. 4"
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
TN XeYL

An English prelate, the btsAoO q
Ipswich, was discussing Sunday out
door games In . liberal wGy. would
anyone say his prayers the worse BE-
cause he had made a good drive ct
cricket that morning! asked the bish-
op. One Of his hearers remarked:
That Il Q very good point my lord,
but there Is another to BE- considered.
Suppose the cricketer makes Q bad
drive, then his moral welfare IL Hksly
to be badly Jared"
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
China's Wealth of Coal.

According to an estimate issued by
the British royal commission, China
has 2s2, 900 square miles Of coal-pro-
ducing lands, the United States, 200.-
900; Canada, st, 900; Great Britain, H.
900; France, 5000, and Germany, LOO.
With all its claims of ancient ciyiliza-
ton, China has never yet walked up to
the productive uses of coal, though it
seems to have more of 1t than ex-
lists in any other country.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Munifcent Rsnefaction.

William II. Laird, the wealthy
Winona (Minn.) lumberman, has
given $4,000 for the construction and
equipment of a new science hall at
Carleton college. Mortified. When
the building shall be ready for occu-
patton he will give an equal amount
as an endowment fund. Mr.. Laird
has just celebrated the fiftieth ami
versary of his entry into the lumber
business.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Built Meet on a Drawbar.

Wabash car inspectors of Peru. Ind.
found a robins nest containing four
eggs on a drawSbar of a passenger
cotch Of a fast train the other day
The nest was made at Buffalo and
was carried all the way from that city
to Peru without being damaged. The
nest and eggs are on exhibition at the
Office of the trainmaster.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
A Young Astronomer.

DR.. Ralph Hamilton Curtiss, lately
Carnegie assistant at Lick observatory.
has been chosen assistant professor Of
astronomy by the University Of West
ern Pennsylvania DR.. Curtis, though
only "a years old. recently took his
doctors degree at the University of
California, where he received his
astronomical training, supplemented
by graduate work there and at Lick
observatory.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
The Truthful Guide.

II is told of . lady that while tour
ing in the Scottish highlands one
summer she was taken to q cave in
which Macbeth was said to have been
born. She examined the cave atten-
lively, and listened to the eloquent
speech of her guide. At the end she
said to the man: Come, now, tell
me truly, is this really the place where
Macbeth was born?"
The guide smiled awkwardly. He
shifted about little. Well" he said,
tits one of the places. Glasgow
Herald.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Toast to the Auto.

II Evanston, Ill. the other evening
the parents OF a bright little girl had
some of their friends in to dinner and
a number of toasts were given. After
the older ones had flashed. the young
lady stood up. held her glass of water
high-water is always used for toasting
purposes in Evanston-snd said:
Here's to the auto. May We hear its
toot in time TO scoot."
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
An Indiana opinion.

. Some Indians from the southwest
went on q sightseeing tour Of Wash
ington In one Of the big automobiles
devoted to that purpose. They listened
gravely to the man with the meg
aphone as he described the many
places Of interest. At the end Of the
journey one Of the travellers summed
it all up thus: Heap ride, heap talk,
heap smeI"-the last referring to the
Whit of gasoline which occasionally
reached him.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Up from the Ranks.

William Watt. who has been ap-
pointed director Of the Dusseldorf Sci
ence and Art institute. is the second
son Of a blacksmith of Port Glasgow
Scotland. Starting with no advantage
Of birth or money or influence. he has
largely educated himself. He is 80
years old.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Time Works Changes

When a woman is first married she
folds the paper so her husband will
be sure to see where some other man
has eloped with his stenographer. Aft
er she has been married awhile she
reads it out loud and gets mad at
everybody in the Spring
Geld (O) Sun.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
A Safe Average.

Mrs. Ferguson-Why do you wear
those ridiculously high collars, George?
What are they good for, anyhow?
Mr.. Ferguson-They are good for
about four washings, Laura. That's
my experience with the average
laundry.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Rank HeresV.

81 sometimes think" said Deacon
Ironside, I'VE shall have to summon
Brother Hardesty before the church
board"
What is the trouble with Brother
Hardesty?" asked Elder Keepalong.
He is finding fault with the plan
Of creation. He says there are too
many carp and dogfish and too few
black bass. Chicago Tribune.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Long in Service

Earl Nelson, who is in his eighty
second year. is the only living peer
who was a member of the house Of
lords when Quee. Victoria came to the
throne. His lordship is not a direct
descendant Of the great Lord Nelson.
who left no sons. but is a grandson of
his sister, Mrs. Bolton.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Don't Wear Them.

The pressure of a stiff high collar on
the pneumogastric nerve has been
found by DR.. F. B. Brubaker to pro-
duce unpleasant symptoms, like numb
ness, nausea, lassitude and depression
Of spirits. He believes that prolonged
pressure by a close-fitting collar would
tend to serious disease. such as lung
disease.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Propelled by a Boot,

Farmer Geehaw-Waal, caught that
young city spark last night that's been
hangin' around our Mandy.
Farmer Giddap-An' what happened,
Jabez?
Farmer Geehaw-0h. the spark few
upward.-LouisvilleC ourier-Journal.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Brilliant Billy.

A tale of financial difficulties, but hav-
ing a happy ending, is thus told by the
Yale Record:
Bill had billboard. Bill also had
board bill. The board bill bored Bill.
so that Bill sold the billboard to pay
his board bill. So after Bill sold his bill
board to pay his board bill, the board bill
no longer bored Bill.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
The Riddle Of the snhinx.

The Sphinx had just propounded her
riddle.
What goes on four legs in the
morning. two at noon. and three in the
EVENING"" she demanded.
"An auto" they answered, readily.
With a heavy groan, she realized
that the moderns had gone her one
better.-N. Y. Sun.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Many Years of Music,

Prof. John X. Paine, who has re-
tired from the chair of music at Har-
ward, is Sc years old. For Just half
his life he was connected with the de-
partment of music at harvard, first as
instructor and afterward as full pro-
fessor, having been the first occupant
Of the chair.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Took Too Long.

Whistler Is said to have had 100 sit
tings for one portrait. Three sisters in
succession sat for picture he was paint
ing and each in succession grew too old.
30 that the picture remained unfinished
1t the last
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Could Feel It Coming On.

Are you going to take a vacation
this year, Addemup?"
From the way old Spotcash looked
when he saw me at the ball game yes
terday, for the second time this week.
I'm afraid / am."-Chicago Tribune.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Lesson from Japan.

Knicker-Yes, my wife won the
fight, but the credit belongs to the
spirit of her ancestors.
Bocker-You don't say?
Knicker-Yes, her mother was with
her.-N. Y. Sun.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Reasonable Reduest

Doctor Ito pressing creditor) If
you must bring your bill every day, at
least you might come with your head
tied up, 90 that people would think
you were q patient!-London Tit-Bits.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Not Wnrth Mentfnnino

What kind Of a dinner did the Hux-
legs have? l heard it was to be an
elaborate affair"
mo. It didn't amount to much. I
felt Just as well the next morning as
l ever did in my life"
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Weather on Mars.

Astronomers state that the first snow
Of the season fell on Mars, May 49,
AS far as scientists are able to carry
their observations, our .neighboring
planet, like the earth, has the weather
for a leading topic of conversation.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Not NourishinR.

Bumps-Hardup says he's living on
hope.
Humps wondered why he looked
80 thin! Why doesn't he get to work
and earn enough to get fat on?-De-
troit Free Press.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
MGcenary.

YES" Uttered the homely heiress,
'Mr. Skeem proposed to me last night
and kissed me"
"o!" interrupted Miss Snappe, he'd
do anything for money."-Philadelphia
Ledger.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Work If the Wind

A farmer at Alden, Okla, 20 miles
from Snyder, found q number Of photo
graphs in q good state of preservation
that had been carried to his farm BY
the recent tornado 1t Snyder.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Good Reason.

OF the 20 graduates this year from
Haskell institute. the government
school for Indians at Lawrence, only
elk are football players. The rest are
girls.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
The End.

BLANK had . mania for proposing.
What cured hin"
His wife. She married hin-"-DS-
tToit Free Press
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Again the Imp.

Desdemona was breathing her last.
WELL" she said, Il suppose I can
blame this on the Black Imp"
And othello. stung by the aIlusion,
went with remorse.-N. Y. Mail.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01

= There's o lot more religion In grit
ting your teeth and grinning at trouble
than there IL IN q sanctined, sour sub
mission.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
oftsn.

Il sometimes happens that when Q
girl rejects q young mans proposal he
celebrates his lucky escape BY getting
fun.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
A Good Example.

Nearly every sort Of villainy u asso-
ciated with gravity and gTimnsss.
Look at the humorist, for example.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Looking 70 the Futurs.

Many q man Is compelled to starve
his family almost sto death in order
to keep up the premiums on his own
life insurance.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
One way to Fame.

The only way some people are able
to see their name in print Is By ct
ting on the delinquentttax List
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01

When q japanese audience wishes
b express disapproval Of q play, they
turn their backs to he'stage.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01

n every man thefe In . disposition
70 % the grand where women are con-
eHnol-Chicago Daily News
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Keen II Down.

Don't cultivate your conscience; /
WIN only make you uncomfortable.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
alinnerx Cnnsciencsa.

Billiard players put chalk on the
cue to keep II from slipping. Some
men need chalk on their consciences.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
A Sure Sim

The sure sign Of Q fool Is that b
noFgsts his folly.-Chieago Tribune
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Hind

There II Ne accounting for tastes
judging By tie number Of people whose
lag Ouit "a sokAdniration-
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
nma Kim.

Opportunity has an exasperating way
q calling On man when he's out-
chieAeo Daxv News
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
H0udonA

Before calling q man . liar Be sure
you are right-then use q telephone.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1905-07-01
Good Advice.

Cultivate q thick skin II you propos
10 Be independent-N. 7. Times.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1905-02-16
Com position In Courses.

SOuthey was methodical and rapid
tient, easy going hack of the mule
breed, regular as clockwork in my pace,
sure footed, bearing the burden which
is laid on me. and only obstinate in
choosing my own path" he wrote to Il
friend Dut his method was by no
means simple. He was a poet a his
torian, critic and miscellaneous
writer He turned out an enormous
quantity Of matter and succeeded i'll
doing so by working fourteen hours Il
day and diversifying his labors within
his daily round..- He had six tables in
his library. He wrote poetry at one,
history at another, criticism at third.
and so on with the other subjects upon
which lie was engaged. and when he
was tired of spinning his brains into
verse he turned to history and criti-
cism There Is story that lie once
described to Nine de Stael the divl-
sion of his time-two hours before
breakfast for history, two hours for
reading after, two hours for the com
position Of poetry, two hours for criti-
cism. and so on through all his work
ing day. And pray, Mr.. Southey,'
queried the Frenchwoman somewhat
unkindiy. wien do you think T'-Corn.
hill Magazine
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1905-02-16
Minnie Screws.

THE fourth jewel screw of watch
is 50 small that to the naked eye it will
not look like anything more than bit
of dust" says Il matchmaker. "and is
probably the smallest screw made 1t
must necessarily lie perfect III every
respect and the character of tie work
manship required on it is Illustrated by
looking at it under Il powerful micro
scope, when it Is seen that the thread
average 2G0 to the inch. 1t is exactly
four ur-th0uSandtis of an inch in diam.
eter, and over 50,G00 could be packed
into lady's tlimble with ease. Count
ing these screws is never attempted of
course. but 100 are weighed on a deli
'catc steelyard, and the total number of
an output is arrived 1T by comparing
the gross weight with the weight of
these. Such tiny screws can only be
made i'll large numbers by machinery,
and the operation attending their man
ufacture is one of the most delicate
things in matchmaking" - st. Louis
GiObe-Democrat
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1905-02-16
being quite still again, we made an

being quite still again, we made an
other find
For the next eight days we movet.
steadily southwark with the current.
our food being gone and each man lv-
ing on the leather of his belt or shoes.
On the morning of the nineteenth day
we sighted Il sail and raised Il smoke
of the Frost King of st. Johns. We
had had rough and rerlous time of
1t, and had 1t been midwintcr all would
have frozen to death, but as it was all
came out in good health and without
the slightest bodily injury.
nITSn
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1905-02-16
No Side Sfaup5nE.

1T seems lie met her ut a hop,
promptly proposed, and now they're
to he married.
Strange that she should take that
step Mt a hop"
''she took it at jump."-Philadei.
pbia Press
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1905-02-16
The WiSl. henc.

When you pull wishbone with q
friend and make a wish, which end
wins the big end or the little end? In
some houses the small end wins. and
In other houses the big end wins. It's
like a cold. Some say starve it, and
others say stuff it-Atchison Globe.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1905-02-16
a TOuGii Snecfn,eH.

''Secn Edwins new horse?' asked
one viliaEer of another.
Il have" was the reply.
"Wcll, what does it look like?" asked
the guestioncr.
"Well, it looks" said the other man
slowly "as if Edwin had taken it for
an old debt
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1905-02-16
r S. TERRY,
DE T Is T..

Offices now over the Andrews-S
Dry Goods Co., Shreveport. Rooms 3
ard l. Phone, 1884.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1905-01-20
THE RESULT OF BASE POLITICS

y Notwithstanding the fact that the
peoplesof Missouri, in the late election,
turned cut the Doodle gang that
domif ated their State politics, and
even changed the State from Iemo-
cratic TO r publican in doing SC, it
does not appear that they have eleva-
ted their politics by the act. True they
elected the heroic and determined
Folk, who set his face as flint against
political corruption, AS Governor of the
State; but at the same time they cleo
ted Legislature. which is so lost to
public decency as to confer the high
office of the United States Senator up
on man who abetted the violation of
the plain statutes in the matter of re-
ceiving political contributions from
corporations which had interests to
protect, The descent from the splendid
old commoner, CockrelI, to Niedrlng-
haus, the newly elected and much
besmirched Ser ator, is steep and dizzy.
Mr.. Niedringhaus, now the Republican
manager of the State, accepted a large
contribution to the campaign fund
from certain ST.. Louis brewers, de.
posted the amount so collected in
bank to his personal account, and then
drew it out to meet campaign expenses.
The laws of Missouri prohibit corpora
tions from making political campaign
contributions, and in order to cover uE
his violations of law, the Senator-elect
deposited the amount collected to his
personal credit With this fact made
public by the report of the investiga-
ting committee, and with the evidences
of his violation of the law staring it in
the face, the Legislature of Missouri
blandly elected Mr.. Niedringhaus to
the position of highest honor within
it's gift This act coming from Legis-
lature that had been elected as re-
suit of no. able public upheavaI pro-
duced by the protests of the people
against this very sort of thing, is most
astonishing. It IS a powerful com.
mentary upon the efficiency of much Of
the reform campaigns that we hear so
much about in these times, and il
shows how little sincerity there was il
those candidates who rodet triumphant.
lv into office on that issue.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1905-01-20
Consultations.

1t will surprise many to know that
Washington Irving was a confessed
orchard thief. Once, while picking up
an apple in his own orchard, he was
accosted by an urchin of the neighbor-
hood, who, not recognizing him as the
proprietor, offered to show him a tree
where he could get some better apples
than those.
But" said the boy, I'VE must not
let the old man see U.S."
Il went with him." said Irving, land
we stole about a dozen or two of my
own apples and then went shares"
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1905-01-20
Common Liar" says one you're
blackguard" says 'tother. Sick i'm
Tige; Catch i'm Ranger



DR. Theodore Gill of the Smithsonian
institution in calling attention to the
misnaming of our native fish by early
settlers instanced among others the
trout. The pilgrims, finding in New
England streams a fish that reminded
them of the trout of England, gave it
the same name, although Izaak Wal
ton would have told them that it was
not trout, but char. In Maine land
locked salmon and in certain lakes an
other salmonid fish were also called
trout. In the south the name trout
was given to black bass. In California
a peculiar fish was named trout, appar-
emily for no other reason than its pos
session Of spots. The ella river trout
Is not a trout at all.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1905-01-20

A personal scrap IN AtIanta'S "wide
open" city council has just been
narrowly averted Big Chief Jim threw
the lie around promIscuously Broth
or Broughton might observe this and
sek safety in the tall brush