The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-03-03

XNNcE upon a time there dwelt in kNOI a city flat young husband and O his wife They were but lately married and therefore the young man had ideals and his wife had notions. He worshipped her, he danced atten- dance upon her slightest wish, he hu- mored her and petted her until she for got that matters could be any other way. The more he yielded the more she de- manded until at the end of few years the young husband didn't dare to ex- press d wish of his own, and his wife treated him with olerant contempt. Then he woke up suddenly and his ideals vanished. His petted spouse was dumb founded to discover that her will haG ceased to be law Hubby began to dc as he pleased: he stayed out as long as he desired and made no record of his go- ing or coming. When he put his foot down the china rattled and when he said no he neglected to ex- plain why lie did not say yes. Instead of trying to please he was q picture of self-satsfied indifference and instead of waiting on "Ethel' all the time he gave her to understand that she might look after herself in addition to aIIenQlnS 10 me WdIlS LII IleI lltSE lord. Then "Ethel' also awoke. It was not long before she began to look up to Arthur" she was agreeably surprised at the strength of character which he had develo ped and il was not very long, desr reader, until she became a model wife. The moral Is easy: Be the boss
 THE STRENUOUS LIFE.
 Life is real, life is earnest
 You bet your bottom dollar.
 The oil trust has you by the heels
 And the beef trust by the collar.
 Certain of "our esteemed contempora- ries' have inadvertently confused the identities of Jame J. Corbett, the re- nowned mutilator of faces, and his name sake, Young Corbett," who has just been jabbed once too often by that young Dane, Battling Nelson, out in San Francisco, the parads- of sports '' James J. Corbett is not Young Corbett' and "Young Corbett' is not related to James J. The sobriquet of Young Cor bett' was adopted. presumably, for prize-ring purposes. Of course no one would Intentionally make mistake in referring to such eminent personages as James J. Corbett and Young Corbett'' even though both of these gentlemen appear to be among those who also ran.
 Among other reliable harbngers of spring do not forget the blood purifiers D These panaceas will soon come into vogue again and there will be the annual in- nundation of "literature'i setting forth their curative properties. When patent medicine begins to now you may rest as- sured that gentle spring has come to stay. By the way, the gentlemen who write those patent medicine advertise ments must be peerless optimists or else incorrigible jokers. Their enthusiasm is contagious.
 Alack, the first victim of Dr. Osler' s joke, has been recordedl Sherman Link, an aged scientific student of St. Louis, ohloroformed himself to ceath after read ing the Baltimore experts theories about old men. The festive Dr. Oser is it would not be surprising if more per sons of c hypochrondrical disposition should act on the suggestion half con veyed in his lecture The wonder Is that there are people in the world who will deliberately take their lives because some crank has advised them that 1t Is possi- ply the best thing they could do. If all the men of GO years of age and over who are now engaged in advancing vast enter prises were to begin taking chloroform there would not be enough capable young men to fill their places.