Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-07-30
CITY DISCOYERER
MEETS A TARGET

The other afternoon the City Discoverer
was stroliing along one OF the quiet little
freauented streets In the suburbs OF the
city. his mild blue eyes bean.ing content
edly behind his gold-rimmed glasses. when
| he noticed a dejected-looking individual sit
ing on the curbstone. his elbows his
knees and his chin in his hands. Tho
stranger was short and stocky. . handler
chief was wound around his neck In place
Of q collar.
How unhappy that man seems" NUT
tered the City Discoverer sympatheticaly
II wonder II can cheer him up q bit7"
Isn't II a beautiful dayr" he asked en-
Enthusiastically. in a praiseworthy attempt TO
| cheer up the dejected-Iooking person.
II really don't know nor do care" re-
piled the dejected-looking person plaintive-
ly. Il am busy thinking of more important
matters"
They don't appear to be cheerful ones
said the City Discoverer tentatively.
| 'Oh. 1t simply couldn't have been that
murmured the dejected-looking person as
| he reached his hand upward and stroked
| knob on his head as big a hens exe.
| The Discoverer stared at the stranger In
establishment Which couldn't have been
| WHAT" he inquired.
What / am led to believe 1t was" re-
| piled the dejected-looking person. sorrow
| fully 1T came at me with the speed OF n
dum-dum bullet 1t landed with the crush
| ing force of thirteen-inch shell: thought
| 1t was a cobbie stone. but found only a
| Maryland biscuit
The City Discoverer gasped for breath.
My dear sir he inquired solicitously.
| what on earth you talking about
| Dum-dum bullets. cobble stones. thirteen
inch shells and Maryland biscut-why. 1
don't understand.
1
| jected-looking person. mournfuily. at
least have known them to do So But II
you can tell me how an innocent Maryland
| biscuit can travel with the speed of IA
| dum-dum bullet. land with the impact OF a
| thirteen-inch shell and raise a knob like a
cobbIe stone. TIL be much Obliged"
The City Discoverer thought 1t over fors
| moment.
II should say" he remarked. sageIy. that
1T depended upon who threw IT,"
1T was my stenographer."
| coverer inquired.
| at isn't a he-it's a her." replied the de-
| 1ected-looking person.
Where In the world did this occury In
luired the Discoverer.
! Right In the Office" was the reply.
| Not a government office. hope" cried
the DiscOverer.
| "Oh. yes" replied the stranger. "Bui I'm
| not worrying about that. was trying to
compare the knob on my head with the
biscuit and reconcile the two thlngs- But
I'm afraid can't"
But doesn't that sort OF thing make
talk?' inquired the Discoverer;
Apparently not" replied :he stranger.
elise I would have heard 1t long ago.
1, wasn't only Maryland biscuits"
What else was it?'' inquired the Dis
coverer. his mild blue eyes wide open.
We'll" said the de3ected-loOking person
| slowly. as he adjusted the handkerchief
| around his neck. ''once 1t was a pot of jam
My stenographer had a quarrel with one
OF the clerks in the office and because l
1 d~st nd Dismissal
| threw the jam at me-"
Ibid it land?' inquired the Discoverer
| mo" replied the dejected-looking strang-
| err II managed to dodge, but 1t made an
| and the market afterward went crazy
! "Gracious," said the Discoverer.
Another time" continued the stranger.
eft was an inkwell. but 1t only hit me on
| the shoulder. and once 1t was waste paper
basket. but that didn't hurt very much"
.'Why did she throw the biscuit at you?
| inquired the Discoverer.
| We'll" replied the stranger Apologize
ally II guess she had some provocaton
| for that You see she wanted a years
leave in order to travel through EUROPE
but didn't think she ought to go away for
! more than six months al time. 1t looks
| bad, you know.
| Heavens" said the City Discoverer. as
he took off his glasses and wiped his fore
| head.
| Yes" replied the stranger. 81 was de-
| cidedly to blame for that and l fear l was
| too harsh But hadn't been at the office
| for nearly two years and | had quite n
number of letters to dictate. So, of course.
| l wanted somebody around | could trust,
| as many of the letters were personal
| Goodness cried the City Discoverer. as
! he took off his hat and rubbed his head
J Yes said the stranger more cheerfully,
/ 81 knew you would appreciate the situa-
/ ton. l really shouldn't have come back
| to the office then. but duy called me-.
! WAS everything all right when you got
| back?'' incurred the Discoverer-
ooh, dear no." replied the stranger, II
should say not. l learned after had work
! ed hard for week and was about to go
| away again to rest that my trusted CHIEF
| assistant had made half million dollars
by selling government information,
| What corrupt ofhclal, SAID the Slty
| Discoverer Indignantly.
| "Of course" said the dejected-lo looking
| stranger with a flash of indignation he
never told me anything about IT, ana !,
| there is anything | detest 1t Is stinglness-
| Gracious :" said the Discoverer. edging
away from the dejected-lookins person.
And that's not the worst of It," con-
| they wanted to hold me responsible for
affairs in my bureau. although hadn't
| been near the place for couple OF years.
| Wasn't that awfuly UNJUST"
But the City Discoverer was past the
! power of speech.
| so" continued the detected looking per-
son.. they went to the extreme of DIS
| charging the man who had made half a
| million out of advance International
| though anybody stingy as he Is really
| deserved it--and then they made me re
| sign because / didn't know that the stingy
| man was making money by selling advance
! information. Wasn't that silly? How was
| I to know If he was too stingy to tell!
| What happened to- your stenographer
| who threw the Maryland biscuits the jam
| and things?' inquired the Discoverer.
| -"Oh she was discharged Also, repiieI
| the dejected-looking stranger with gri-
| mace as he rubbed the knob on his head,
although why they did that l can't say.
| She hadn't done anything except to help
some people pass a government examint-
| ton. and throw things at me-.
! The City Discoverer rose hastily from the
| curbstone. My dear sir" he said. Il have
| been extremely edited by my conversation
| with YOU Won't you tell me your nameE
| 81" replied the dejected-looking stranger
| his head on his breast, was once statis-
| tician of the Department of Agriculture.
| Goodness said the City Discoverer 70
| himself as he trudged homeward. his mead
| bowed and his hands behind him; who
thn,, O,t