The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1905-05-26

this house and numbering three or four
people! A water pipe bursted, and $50
to pay out for repairsw
Don't water pipes ever burstg' quiet
! ~ replied Mrs. Bowser.
Never. Never in this world! Water
pipes are all right until some n hauls
of with an ak and bursts them. I sup
| pose you'll tell me next that the roof Of
this house is leaking In a dozen places"
II discovered two leaks yesterday,
but they are not very bad mes. I can
! put pans on the door to catch the wa
ter"
Leaks In the roof! Forty leaks in a
roof that was overhauled only last
summer! Woman, do you know where
! you standY
What do you mean?"
You are standing in the shadow of
death! You have gone up on that roof
and jumped up and down. You have
played tag and pull-away. You have
turned somersaults and handsprings.
You have taken the crowbar and thump-
ed and pounded. You have done all
this to spite me, and by the bones of
the n horned cow
Are you through, Lemuel Bowser?"
Mr. Bowser turned to find his moth
er-in-law standing in the door. She
had arrived hours before, but had kept
in the background to make a dramatic
debut.
what! You-you herer' gasped Mr..
Bowser as the red left his face in an
instant.
"Yes, Lemuel, I am here, and I have
been an interested listener. Sit down."
"What for?"
Because I tell you to. I've got a
few words to say to you, and perhaps
your knees won't wabble quite so much
If you sit down. Now, then, about that
clothespin. You lied about it simply
to have an excuse to raise a row."
woman, don't you call me a liarw
Don't excite yourself and don't call
me N l I'M your respected
mother-in-law. and as such I can't be
| bluffed Or bulldozed." T.
Il won't stay in the same house with
you!" exclaimed Mr.. Bowser as he
! jumped UP.
! "Oh. yes, you will. You and I have
| got to have a plain, straight talk, and
| b sooner we get at it the better. I
figured that il was about time for one
of your spells, and SO l got aboard Of
| the train n came down. If you think
you could talk better with a pillow be-
hind your back we'll and good, but talk
you must. You know me, don't you?"
"YOn bet / know you"
"Then no further introductions are
necessary. Mr.. Bowser, do you realize
that you are one of the meanest old
kickers on the face Of this earth?"
what. What"
Don't shout at me. You may scare
the cat OF the cook, but Tn not made
that way. You know that pane of
glass vas cracked four weeks ago by
a boy throwing a SNOWFALL, but you
seized upon it tonight as a pretext.
Do you know what I'd have done if
you had come b%ulldozing to me about
it?'
81 say I won't listenr'
And I say you will! If you'd come
charging me with breaking that glass
I'd have taken the shine off that bald
head Of yours in about>a minute. What
you need is a strong hand, and it's
fortunate that I nave got one. No use
for you to glare at me like an enraged
bull, for 1 don't scare. Where are you
going"
"I'm going to leave the house until
| you get gone!"t
"Lemuel Bowser, come back herew
But Mr.. Bowser got bis overcoat and
| hat and was outdoors before she could
reach him. He didn't know where to
go after he got out, but five minutes
later he brought up at a drug store on
the corner. He wanted sympathy. He
wanted to tell the druggist all about it
and be consoled, and he had just got
ready to talk when in walked the
mother-in-law. There was no hesita-
ton on her part. She walked up to
Mr.. Bowser and took him by the hand
and said:
"Lemuel, come with mev'
"I'll be hanged if I dor he growled.
you'll either come along with me
or follow me in the ambulancer'
That's what he needs-a strong
hand" said the druggist as he nodded
approval.
The family cat had followed the
mother-in-law. Under the sky Of a
winters night, side by side and hold
ing hands, walked Mr.. Bowser and
his conquerer, and behind them follow
ed the wonderful feline, and when the
procession had reached a we'll known
gate it turned in, opened the door, and
a moment later what was happening
there was hidden from all outside eyes.
NJ. QUAD.
A Typographical Error.