West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1905-05-18

reputation, which have been gath.
ering letters of character for the last
forty years, TO be totally impartial
as a chronIcler Of political history.
But while my reputation is that Of
an impartial chronicler, | am free to
admit that if it was necessary to give
an unnatural swelling TO the truth to
save Gov. Dawson and the new tax
laws that | would not hesitate TO
make history conform to Gov. Daw-
sons ideas Of the new tax laws.
That's why say that Bro. Hughes
is mistaken as 10 the place where
Napoleon and Wellington fought.
was an eyewitness TO the battle.
Napoleon and Senator George /.
Wellington fought in Shantytown
where the city Of Cumberland is
now located. There was no Egyp-
ton Mummies or pyramids in Shan
tytown. This thing about the Val
ley OF the Nile and pyramids was
the creation Of the imagination Of
Bro. Arthur Middleton, who was
the war correspondent of the Wheel
ing lntelligencer at that time. That
fake write up cost Bro. Middleton
his Job with the Intelligenccr. The
last time | saw him he was travelling
with a repertoire troupe and doing a
song and dance act as the Escaped
Egyptian Mummy" He was max
ing great hit. Bro. Middleton was
in Charleston during the last session
of the Legislature doing newspaper
stunt for the edihcation OF the In
telligencer readers. He was a keen
observer of what was transpiring on
the inside while the legislators were
on earth TO love, honor and protect
the poor people from grafters, and
he learned that it was no trouble TO
deceive the poor people if you could
convince them that il was to their
interests to "vote the ticket straight
from President to constable" as the
good old Family Journal admouish-
es them to do. Bro. Middleton
could also lasso the Anglo-Saxon
language and hearld it at the Intelli-
gencer readers with such violence
that 1t was utterly impossible for
them to dodge. They got the full
afflatus of it. fancy this is why
Bro. Middleton has gone on the
stage to fake the people as the
Escaped Egyptian Num-"
But / must get back to Orator
Hughes and his oration. hnd that
he told the Republicans of the Sec
ond Congressional District what
have been telling them for a great
many years. 1t took me forty years
of straight voting to get my pie.
Orator Hughes confirms what have
been telling them when he says,
"Yonder in Preston county are four
thousand Republicans and forty
years Of faithful party service look
ing down upon YOU" This is sub
lime and strictly accurate. But he
did not go far enough in his beauti-
full peroration. Had l been the
orator / would have said in thunder
ing tones: "Forty years have we
been voting it straight from Presi
dent Roosevelt to Constable Duvall!
Not that we loved the Grand Old
Party less, but because we loved the
pies more You have fed us for
forty long years on promises, prom
ises which have almost destroyed
the harmony and patriotism within
us You cannot hope to have the
fathers and mothers back in Pres
ton TO keep on instil!ing into their
boys and girls the ingredients Of
pieology with the expectation that
the boys and girls will listen to the
teachings of the holy bible unless
you give us this Congressional pie
On the 9th Of June you cannot ex-
pect us TO compel the girls and boys
to vote the ticket straight from
Teddy to Johnny unless you make
us present OF the Congressional
pie In the patriotic words Of
Flanagan. Of Texas, what are we
here for2' n not for pie, what
then ? DO ! hear the voice of the
Father Of Piemen from way of
Charleston crying out, no protect
the new tax laws2 DO hear a
wall from the buckwheat fields 1f
Preston saying, You arc there Tor
| pie, and if you return without 10
there will be forty years Of moaning,
Give as Lakin, piemcn of The con.
vention, and we will show you huw
The infants vote, whether they be
boys or girls Z"
This is the kind Of an appeal I
would have made to the piemen.
For piemen, as a rule, know nothing