The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-06-18

and point to you as one of the worst ever and then along towards winter you attend the revival again, and get religion where you left off. and they fall over themselves to make you feel that you are as good as anybody, and the next time you are baptized it seems to take, like vaccination, and you stick to the church always, and sit up nights to rope in other fellows that swear and cut up. That is what I call religion that sticks to your ribs like crackers and cheese to a hungry man.
 But, say, how was 1t you never wrote me, when you were abroad. about visiting Greece? Your dad was in here t'other day and said he had had rheumatiz ever since he was Kidnapped in Athens, and had to wear the Greek costume of short petticoats for men. and sleep out on a mountain side. What about it?'
 Did dad tell you that?" said the bad boy, as he laughed and looked as though the recollectif, of the Greek ex- perience was going to split him wide open. Dad and I agreed that we would keep that a secret, but if he has told about 1t. there is no use of my keeping still We struck Athens, and dad felt that here was a place where he could boss the people around. cause everybody seemed to be dressed like ballet dancers: the men wore a sort of starched petucoat, and they all looked as though they were lovesick, and didn't do anything but pose to be looked at. and we couldn't blame them, for the women were the whitest and handsomest we had seen anywhere, with red cheeks, and great soulful eyes. like Americans. Yes, sir, everybody in Athens seemed to be in love, and dad thought the men looked effeminate, on account of their clothes, but every man is an athlete and a fighter from the word go.
 Well, we went up on the hill to the Acropolis, an old marble ruin that over looks the town. and dad paced off the ground, to see how much territory 1t covered, and figured up how much good marble there was in it, that could be used for gravestones, and when some of the policemen asked me what the old man was doing told them he was rich old party from America that was going to buy the Acropolis and move it to the United States and make 1t over into a morgue. and that he didn't care for expense. for he was the richest man in the world.
 Well, we looked things over, like all tourists do, and we went to Mars Hill, where Paul preached. and dad read up on Paul, and offered to bet that Paul could give cards and spades to any preacher, and then beat him preaching, and the next night we went to the place, where Socrates and Plato taught school, and some of the Greeks had watched us pretty close, and just after dark, as we were walking around, 8 beautiful woman, like Greek statue, rose up before us, with a white robe on, and she went up to dad and claimed his protection, as she was being pursued by robbers, and she cuddled up to dad. At first we thought she was a ghost, but when she touched dad, and clung to him, he said she was warm all right, and was no ghost, and he told her not to worry, as she was under the pro- lection of the American flag, and he would stand by her till hades froze over, and he put his left arm around her and drew his revolver. I can re- member the scene as though 1t was last night, and how that Greek woman chung to dad, and thanked him, and she smiled a smile full of teeth and red lips. and then she looked out into the moonlight and screamed: There they come," and she tainted in dads arms, and then we were surrounded by about a dozen Greek bandits, dressed in white petticoats, and with long crooked dag gers. and one fellow that seemed to be