davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19
MIGHT HAVE SAVED IT
a Lot Of Trouble from Too Much
starchy Food.


starehy Food.
A little boy of eight years whose
parents did not feed him on the right
kind OF food, was always nervous and
suffered from a weak condition of the
stomach and bowels. Finally he was
taken down with appendicitis and
after the operation the doctor. know.
Ing that his intestinal digestion was
very weak. put him on Grape-Nuts
twice a day.
He rapidly recovered and about two
months thereafter, his Father states.
"He has grown to be strong. muscu
lar, and sleeps soundly, weighs 6a
pounds, and his whole system is In .
fno condition of health" Name given
by Postum Co., Battle Creek. Mich.
II is plain that IL he had been put
on Grape-Nuts at an earlier period In
his life, and kept from the use OF
foods that he could not digest, he new
er would have had appendicitis. That
disease is caused by undigested food
decaying In the stomach and bowels,
causing irritation and making for the
growth of all kinds Of microbes, set.
ting up a diseased condition which 10
the active cause of appendicitis, and
this is more marked with people who
do not properly digest white bread.
Grape-Nuts Is made of the selected
parts OF wheat and barley and by the
peculiar processes Of the cooking at
the factory. all Of the starcn 10 turned
into sugar ready for immediate diges-
ton and the more perfect nourish-
nent Of all parts o: the body. particu-
lsrly the brain and nerve eenters.
Read the little book. The Road 10
Wsllvilie." found In each pkg.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

Archbishop Ireland doesn't mind
telling a joke on himself. The arch
bishop always dresses SO unostenta-
tiously that no one could guess his
episcopal rank from his street garb.
Travelling one day In rural district,
he met a good-natured woman in the
car who, after some general CONVEX
sation, asked him: You're a priest,
father, aren't your" In a bantering
mood, the archbishop thought he'd
try a bubble to put her at her ease,
so he answered: mo, my good
woman, I'm no longer a priest" The
woman gave him a plying glance.
Then she said, soothingly: ooh, the
Lord help US, father! 1t wasn't the
drink, hope?"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19
Native Cabin.

amounts to about 40 cents per day,
American money, and he boards him
self This is a satisfactory arrange
ment to Domingo, because feeding him
self is an old habit. He does not have
to put up with whatever rations the
head OF the commissary department
may SEQ fit to issue.
He still has his battered cup and
crooked spoon, and he buys ice cream
and cake as many times day as the
spirit moves him. His fellows do like
wise. Around their camp there is a
lowering swarm of vendors.
Steamer on the Spot.
The Panama railway steamer, City
of Washington, which rendered such
valuable service during the recent
trouble, has been an actor in other
stirring events. 1t was in Havana har-
Dor when the Maine was blown up,
and was anchored next to that Ill.
fated vessel.
The Washington's small boats were
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19
The Bronze Button.

There's a little bronze battou. that's
dearer by far,
Than diamond, or ruby, or jewel. or star;
To heroes who wear II, tits worth more
than gold.
II links together those comrades of old.
What memories it brings OF boys living
and dead;
Or fathers and brothers who struggled
and bled
To keep US a nation; they're veterans
who fought,
They're known by the button they wear
on their coat.
That little bronze button. the favorits
charm
or gray-bearded soldiers. who've piled
up their arms;
They're mastering heroes by hundreds
each day,
Those veterans who bestleJ, the blue
gainst the gray.
But So" they are ready for country 70
fight,
TIL d.. sounds the taps. and they bid
good night;
Let's honor these heroes, as proudly we
note
The h!.e bronze button that's worn on
their coat.
That little bronze button. still keep 1t in
And honor the wearers once brave boys
in blue,
They all ate their hare tack, and march
ed eide by side.
TITS the Grand Army button they wear
with such pride.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

shot and yell and started precipitate
rush for safety. AS they ran they
spread the news and gathered re
cruits. The retreat of Britain's black
brigade on that warm, warm morning
was not a success from a standpoint
Of order, but deserves special mention
as regards speed. Some of them are
probably running yet.
The Shade In the Jungle.
Panama has waited long to gain the
center Of the stage. 1t is as gray and
worn as an old man. 1t has seen
enough sorrow to make a thousand
tragedies. Its green swamp is the
lair of death, where fever, like stink
ing thief, always turks in hiding.
Yellow Jack is an invisible horror.
1t advances with noiseless steps and
clutches its victims with fleshless
hand. Ever as it passes there are
dead men and women.
This shapeless, hiding thing, which
strikes unseen, Is the real defender OF
the bar that God laid down to mark
the separation of the seas. II 1t is
His supreme will that the waiting
oceans blend their waters, He must
make strong the arm that is prepar
ing to strike the barrier away; He
must guard the blow that will shatter
the mountains by calling off the shade
that stalks so ruthlessly through the
jungle.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19
Lincoln to Grant.

my Dear General: do not re-
member that you and ever met per.
sonally. l write this now as a crate
full acknowledgment for the almost
inestimable service you have done the
country. / wish to say a word fur.
Their. When you first reached the vi.
cinity of Vicksburg, l thought you
should do what you finally did
march the troops across the neck,
run the batteries with the transports.
and thus go below; and l never had
any faith, except general hope that
you knew better than l, that the va
ZOO Pass expedition and the like
could succeed. When you got below
and took Port Gibson. Grand Gulf
and vicinity, thought you should
go down the river and join Gea
Banks, and when you turned north
ward, east of the Big Black, feared
1t was a mistake. / now wish t.
make the personal acknowledgment
that you were right and wa
wrong."-July Is. 1868
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19
The Cost of a Modern Hotel.

One of these hotels cost seven mil.
lion dollars.
The decoration of it's royal suite OF
six rooms cost seventy-five thousand
dollars.
The plant to filter the air cost three
hundred thousand dollars.
The tulip-wood bed from the old
French chateau cost ten thousand dol
lars, and so did the piano which
adorns the adjoining reception room.
The solid-silver fittings for each
bath room in the hotel cost twelye
hundred dollars.
The paintings, marbles and bronzes
which decorate the house represent an
expenditure of half a million; and, on
the other hand, each door-knob in sAe
hotel cost ten dollars.
The daily amount of money spent
for flowers Is at least five hundred
oollars.-Woman's Home Companion.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

Bob" Burdette, the preacher-hum.
orist OF Los Angeles, tells story Of
q rich contractor from the east who
was sojourning in California, and who
had great difficulty in twisting the
Spanish names of places around his
hiOernian tongue. In speaking Of
San Jose, Mojave, Vallejo, and other
towns which he had visited, he gave
the literal pronunciation, instead OF
sounding the Spanish ] like h. Mr..
Burdette attempted to explain, but
was Interrupted by the Irishman,
who exclaimed. explosively: "Ye have
a foine slimate out here, and ye have
flowers an fruit galore; but damn the
country, say I, where they spell hick,
DRY with 81"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

the first to begin picking up the men
from the water, and its crew saved
many Of their lives. Over 100 women
and children were kept on the Wash
ington for two days and nights at Co
lon. They were given their meals and
the best service the ship afforded, and
no charges were made at all.
After the trouble was over this boat
took the commissioners to New York,
and later, took the treaty to Panama
to be signed. When 1t was brought on
board, Capt. Jones was given a print
ed letter of instructions, in which 1t
was stated that his charge concerned
$50000,000 worth Of interests.
The valuable document was incased
in steel box made especially for 1t,
and this box was contained in a
stronger and larger steel safe. Two
smaller steel boxes contained twe
keys, which were sealed with the seal
of the United States. There was con-
siderable red tape to be gone through
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19
+Za , Ill., L
+ As NEzZzzz2z1l7Ng

There were few Of the horrors of
war that the nurses who were sta
toned there were not made to real.
ize. The corps was insufficient for
the demand, and they had scarcely
time to eat, sleep or rest. Mrs. Ham.
ilton suffered greatly with blistered
feet, but her labors were unremitting.
During the battles Of '62, '63 and
GA the Satterlee hospital was always
filed with sick and wounded men.
After the battle Of Gettysburg. the
wards we're overcrowded, tents being
erected on the grounds to accommo
date 1000 soldiers, the greater part
of whom were colored troops. Ths
weather being warm, the condition
Of the wounds became most repul
sive, the hospital presenting Q true
picture of the horrors of war.
But Mrs. Hamilton says that she
has always been grateful that she
could give three Of the best years OF
her life to her country.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

The principal Of the school was talk
ing with him about his boy. "By the
way, Mr.. Wipedunks," he said; II
made a discovery about Jerry. He's
ambidextrous." II don't see how that
can be-" replied Mr.. Widedumps, with
rising indignation; "he haint never
been exposed to II. Besides, he was
vaccinated last year, we battle hini
regular every week, and his mother al.
ways makes him wears a little bag Of
assafiddity tied around his neck.
Some Of the other boys has been
lynn on him."-Chicago Tribune.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19
Cost ef emovlna Snow.

Removing sncw in New York city
is a large item IN the city's annual
expense bill. II osts about $35,00C
for every inch CT recorded snowfall
Last year 1t nyst ire city $755,0G0 te
remdve the SNOW from the streets
The average fall ~ New York lie
thirty inches, hs, though the snow
seasen hardly hes s,gun, twenty-:hree
inches have fai'cH this winter, and
the cort this seaaus promises to reach
conside rably over xE,O0O.000.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

II don't like to say such long pray
ers," said little girl the other night;
Il want to say nice short ones like
nursey does" What kind does nurs-
ey say?" inquired her mother. "Oh,
she says, oh, Lord, why do have to
get up!"-Philadelphia Ledger.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

On coming home from church on
Sunday Arches mother asked him
how he liked it, and Archie said 1t
was fine.
What do you like most in the
church," asked his mother. Well,
the best part is where they pass
around the money" and, turning to
his father, said: How much did you
get? got a dime"
He got good scolding, and was
told never to do it again.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

First Poker Player-'T say we quit
the game now we're even" Second
Poker Player-"Even! How do You
make that out?" First Poker Player
why you had all Of my money
awhile ago, and now I've got all OF
yours!"-Detroit Free Press.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

fLazy, Dirty Panama s
-,
Especial Correspondence

Although there is new flag In Pan
anna, and the affairs of state are in
new hands. life rolls on in its accus
toned way. The bells in the old tow
CTS keep calling the faithful to prayer;
long iles Of vendors parade the mar
row streets, eternally crying for sale
their frugal wares; buzzards soar In
the hot air or hop ON foot In their
never ending search for offal; the
same horde Of quarreling women
crowd the market place to chatter, to
tarter, and to fight; polite men drink
In the cafes and busy themselves with
political plot and counterpart; and
dusky senoritas lounge In cool patios,
dreaming the dreams that southern
maidens dream.
The south Is always the south. It's
IDLE, shiftless children play and par.
ley their hours away, and the years
bring little change for them. They
are as aimless as the winds that play
in the palms. 1t is no wonder. The
word tropic sounds narcotic. Il Ia
OF no use to resist. You may summon
all your powers Of will, but drowsiness
touches you with its gentle fingers and
you drift softly out on the sea of
sleep.
Soldiers Eat leo Cream.
The sweet tooth seems to flourish
In hot climate. Children gnawing
at pieces Of sugar cane Is always a
familiar sight In tropical lands. Some
times they get little else to eat. On a
former trip to the tropics l had in
my employ little black by the name
OF Domingo, who ran errands for me.
Necessarily l became quite familiar
With the habits Of my young assistant.
found that, aside from sleeping a
great deal, he was quite an eater. His
blouse was his larder, and he kept it
we'll stocked with eatables, mostly
sweets. II he were disturbed while
eating he would chuck the unfinished
morsel inside his shirt to await a
more favorable opportunity to con-
sumo it.
Domingo's tendency toward econo-
my was commendable, even If his idea
OF cleanliness was not praiseworthy.
There was always a noticeable bulg-
ing in his blouse, and l frequently
heard a rafting sound as he moved
about One day / said to him: DO
mingo, what is that in your shirt
which rattles SOP" He replied: That's
my ice cream dish, sir"
1t was a we'll battered tin cup, and,
after some contortions, he brought
forth a crooked, much abused metal
spoon. For two cents l get this half
full of cream, sir. 1t is very good.
May bring you some?" l did not
avail myself Of his generosity.
Domingo is a soldier now. The sal
airy he gets for Icing a fighting man
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

my nightly rest was broken. owing
20 Irregularities of the kidneys.
suffered intensely from severe pains
In the small OF my back and through
the kidneys and was annoyed by pain
full passages of abnormal secretions.
Doctors failed to relieve me. began
taking Doan's Kidney Pills and ! ex-
perienced quick aid lasting relief.
Doan's Kidney Pills win prove a bless
ing to all sufferers from kidney disor.
ders who will give them q fair trial"
Foster-Milburn Co.. Buffalo. N. "
proprietors. For sale by all druggists,
price SO cents per box.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

HE says he proposes to make auto
mobiles that will easily attain sreed
of eighty miles an hour" "Whewi
that's a great business I ldertaking."
Eyes, but, most of all, 1t means q
great undertaking business."-Phila,
delphia Press.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

Goshall-"As far as can see, Mrs.
Chadwicks whole trouble results from
one mistake" Hemlock-"What is
that?" Goshall-"She neglected to
get incorporated under the laws Of
New Jersey. Leader.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

II understand your wife Is quite lit
erary." Il should say So she won a
ten-dollar prize from the Ladies' Own
Journal with an article on How we
managed to save enough in two years
to move twice and pay the plumber
for connecting the gas range."-Puck.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

Speltz or Emmer, above illustrated,
gives 80 bushels grain and four tons hay
besides per acre. It's wonderful. Salzer's
seeds are pedigree seeds, bred up through
careful selection to big yields.
Per Acre.
Salzer's Beardless Barley yielded l2l bu.
Salzer's Home Builder Corn. 300 bu.
Speltz and Macaroni Wheat.... so bu.
Salzer's Victoria Rape. ....... 10000 lbs.
Salzer's Teosinte Fodder. 80. 100 900 lbs.
Salzer's Billion Dollar Grass. $4,000 lbs.
Salzer's Pedigree Potatoes. 49,. 1000 bu.
Now such yields pay and you can have
them, Mr.. Farmer, in 1905.
SEND loo IN sTAMrs
and this notice to the John A. Salzer Seed
Co., La Crosse, Wis, and you will get
their big catalog and lots of farm seed
samples free. NV. N. VI
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

1t is to the credit of the English Off.
Gals that they look after them in this
respect, and prevent them from being
imposed upon. If the pretenders to
authority, or those who have so fire.
quently to defend their position, were
allowed to round them up and force
hem to carry arms, they would rot
last long.
The stampede referred to was
caused by an accident. One of the
volunteers, who was not used to han.
ding firearms, while in the act Of ex-
aiming his weapon, allowed it to go
off. The bullet went between his
toes, and it was all SO sudden that he
thought the enemy surely had him.
He let out yell and started to run.
Several hundred negroes who were
lounging in the vicinity, curiously
waiting for developments, heard the
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

~O''TCS
Nurse-Did you ring, madam?
Madam-Yes. Marie; get the incu
bator up out of the cellar and put the
Daby back in for a few days.
Nurse-Oh, but, madam"
Madam-That will do, Marie; we
won't argue. am preparing a paper
for the club on 1.-THE Relativeness of
the Absolute" and l simply can't be
bothered.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

1t was in a Maine Sunday school
that a teacher recently asked a
chinese pupil she was teaching
to read II he understood the mean
ing of the words IAN old cow" Been
cow long time" was the prompt an
swer.-Lippincott's.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19
An lmpea chment.

Grump-How dare you tell Phibbs
that l snore?
Mrs. Grumps--How dare yor &C
cuse me Of telling Abs?
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19
The sick man had called his lawyer.

The sick man had called his lawyer.
II wish to explain again to you,"
said he, weakly, about willing my
property" The attorney held up
his hand reassuringly. There, there!"
said he; "leave that all to me-" The
sick man sighed resignedly. II sup
pose I might as WE'LL" said he, turn
ing upon his pillow; you'll get it any
way."-Judge.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

Farmer Jones-"Wal, thar's one
thing l like about these plaguey au-
tomobilists, anyway" Farmer Brown
What Is that?" Farmer Jones'
They don't mind getting killed them
selves any more than they do killing
other folk!"-Brooklyn Life.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19
One Was Sufficient.

One Was Sufficient.
Harold-What did you get for
Christmas?
Percy-A good, heavy shoe.
Harold-How did you happen to get
but one instead of pair?
Percy-Well, you see, my best girls
father had his foot in 1t, and under
tho circumstances one was enough,
thank you.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19
TsaehIno the youp1 Ida,

TtdITIT'g Ute TUUIIg TUcds
Young Crow-Of course, I'm anxious
to see the world.
Old Cromwell, you'll find lots OF
things in it that don't belong to you
Help yourself!
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19
Taken at His Word,

Taken at His Word.
Good night" said Mr.. Staylate,
finally breaking away. i've enjoyed
myself immensely. Now, next Sunday
night I-er-expect to pass your
house and"
THAT will be nice. Good night"
said she, and shut the door.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19
Not Too Hard.

81 wish to learn to make jelly" said
the housewife; SIS 1t hard?"
Lord. no, NUM-" replied the cook,
its soft. Fort Worth Record.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19
Alternate Rulers.

Singleton-Who rules the house
you or your wife.
Neutrality-suspicious. The baby and
my wife's mother take turns at II.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19
More Flexible and Lastina,

won't shake out or blow out: by using
Defiance Starch you obtain better re-
suits than possible with any other
brand AID one-third more for same
money.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

Success belongs to the fellow in any
line of business who is persevering
and who makes seeming impossible
ties give way.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19
Grants Famous Letter.

Grants Famous Letter.
This letter from President Ulysses
8. Grant is one Of the most interest
ing In the collection Of the Brooklyn
museum. 1t Is as follows:
Headquarters in the Field.
Feb. 16, 1868.
Gen. s. B. Buckner:
Sir-Yours of this date proposing
an armistice and the appointment o
commissioners to settle on the terms
of capitulation is just received.
No terms except unconditional sur
render can be accepted.
l propose to move Immediately
against your works.
am, very respectfully,
Your obedient servant,
U. s. Grant.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

Temmy's Inquiry.
i had an adventure the other eve
ming" said Miss Singleton, who was
beginning to carry weight for age,
TO neighbor on whom she was cali
Ing. ut was almost dark. and. see.
Ing strange man just ahead OF me,
! ran till was nearly exhausted"
And did the man get away from
your" asked small Tommy, who was
listening.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

A foolish proverb says: Take the
bull by the horns" No one ever
0beyed this but once.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

The U. .. Dept. OF Agriculture
gives to Salzer's Oats its heartiest en-
dorsement. Salzer's New National Oata
yielded in 1904 from $50 to 800 bu. PEI
acre in 30 different States, and you, Mr..
Farmer, can beat this in 1905, if you viii
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

Did you ever hear the expression,
did she marry well?" How about
the other person?
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19
Had to Listen.

Hicks-I understand that you have
had telephone put in your house.
Mrs. Wicks must find it a great con-
venience.
Wicks-Yes; but she doesn't like II
half as well as she thought she
would. You see. when she is using
1t she has to listen half the time.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

But few men have the ability to
combine business with pleasure.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

After a girl has refused him twelve
times a superstitious youth will quit
proposing.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

Those Who Have Tried Il
will use no other. Defiance Cold Wa
ter Starch has no equal In Quantity
or Quality--16 OF. for 10 cents. Other
brands contain only IL OF.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

V'se beyond His Years,
Harry. you seem to be getting
.azier every day." said a mother to
aer six-year-old SON. what are you
going TO do for living when you
grow up?"
"Oh," replied the incorrigible
youngster. "Pm going to get married
and live with my wife's folks"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19
cols.nIood.d cbristr,,. Give,

Coid-5looded Christmas Oliver.
What kind of a man is Jones%
"W-ell-"
well, what?"
Hes the kind Of man that gives
his children shoes and overcoats for
Christmas sents."-Houston Post.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

The cynic gets his opinions before
the mirror.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

Praise keeps woman young and a
man-dead broke.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

A GUARANTEED CURE FOR PILES.
Itchng, Blind, Bleeding or Prutruding Piles. Yonl
druggist win refund money II PAZ0 OINTMENT
calls 70 cure you In 70 Ia days. 800.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-01-19

There should be q rich Picking In
Port Arthur for the old junk man.