The San Francisco call., 1905-03-25

with neVer-relaX1ng grin, until the
docket was cleared and adjournment
effected. His steady attendance soon
attracted the attention of the attaches,
and they tolerated it until his inter-
minable smile began to CRATE on their
nerves. Clerk Barney" Conlan was
first to complain. Every time he lifted
his gaze from his desk it encountered
Luigi's mirth-expressing countenance,
and finally the clerk became so fasci-
mated that he found himself uncon-
sciously staring at Luigi when he
ought to. have been attending to off,
cial duty. Sd In self-defenSe he COM
passed the driving forth of the little
Italian, who Immediately betook him
self to Judge Fritz's court, and there
ventilated his harassing grin until
yesterday morning, when he was sum-
moned to the bench and asked for an
explanation.
What do you mean by it?" his Hon
or inquired.
by vat?' said Luigi his facial orr
flee extended from ear to ear and his
eyes environed by deep wrinkles.
BY that smile"
.tAh feela good an maka da smile"
And what makes you feel good?"
'Eet maka me hapi ia see ALA fool
getta peenched.
Yet when you were pinched' you
did not seem to be oyerburdened with
happiness"
''Ah licka da wife an getta da thirt
day, an ah hap ALA da time
Well said the Judge, II can't pun
ish you for smiling-indeed 1 consider
smile preferable to a frown on any
face-but this court cannot afford TO
have it's nerves shattered every time
it raises it's eyes, and unless you trans
fer your perpetual grin to some other
tribunal / may be able to send you
up for vagrancy. How do you manage
to live anyway"
"Da wife washa da clo'''
And you are content to live in idle
ness?''
'.Ah gotta only da one mitt," and he
held uD the stump of a right arm to
prove that he was incapacitated for
manual labor.
choice you would peddle or do some
thing else that you are able to do
! Get out now and don't bring your
smile back here
'Peddle, hey-dat da gooda joke"
| chuckled Luigi as he withdrew.
Solomon Bonai and Emanuel Andara
were dissecting tamales in a Mont
gomery-avenue restaurant when Solo
mon opined that seagull instead of
chicken had been used in the stuffing
of the dainty, whereupon Emanuel, be-
ing qualmish of stomach, became vio-
lently i'll, and when sufficiently recov-
cred to express his opinion of Solomons 8
table manners he did so by shifting him
full in the face with his fist The COM
bat was f1ercely waging when PATROL
man Berge stopped 1t by arresting
both contestants. and Judge Conlan
fined them $40 apiece.
O. M Waterhouse and Morris Green.
stationers, were accused by the Min
isterial Union of having displayed lewd
pictures In their respective show win
dows, and Judge Cabaniss dismissed
them after they had promised to elm
mate even the most remote suggestion
of obscenity from their future public
exhibitions of alleged art Their at
torney complained that the prosecuting
organization ignores the larger picture
dealers and swoops down upon small
retailers-in other words, swallows
whales and strains at .gnats-and the
Judge remarked that so far as he was
concerned he would prefer harpooning
a leviathan to crushing a mosquito, a
hint which the clerical crusaders may
act in accordance with.
Philip Kratz, accused of wearing
false whskers in order to obtain an in
terview with the fair object of his un-
requited alteration, promised to return
to Los Angeles and let nature take it's
course in the hirsute establishment Of
his face.
1T would be poor natural chin COW
ering that could not eclipse in orna-
mentation the artificial beard YOU
donned," said Judge Fritz. gazing
askance at the eerie-locking thing pro-
duced as material evidence by the pros
ecution. II now let you go, but if YOU
ever attempt to visit the young lady
whom your attentions have annoyed
I'll send you to jail, whether you are
bewhiskered or bare of visage."
-
Thomas Jackson and Daniel O'Meara
were engaged in ffstic combat at Mar
ket. and O'Farrell streets, when Mr..
jackson missed a right swing at his
opponents jaw and plunged his fist
through 500 worth of glass in a glove
store window. The policeman who
hastened to the spot imagined the men
were attempting burglary, and SO
charged them, but when Judge Conlan
heard the facts he discharged Mr..
O'Meara and ordered an accusation of
malicious mischief booked against Mr.
Jackson.
John ]. Jones (colored) was arrested
on Pacific Heights and charged with
burglary. and after the prosecution