The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-24
HUMOR OF TIE by

II HUMOR OF TIE DAY
This gentleman" said the Judge, de
elares he saw you in his ya(rd-'
what Me. suh2'' exclaimed 'Rastus,
with an air Of injured innosense
coet an aIibi, by way Of 5defense-''
NO. suh an didn' con'cock de alley by
Cleveland Leader.
The Freshman-0ur Star halfbaek. Bin
Gouger, broke four toea and sprained an
ankle in yesterdays game Gee. but the
captain roasted him I'd a turn.
The Bartender-FVhatt fOrI
The Freshman-Rotten judgment Bin
tried to kick for the stomach. but the guy
ducked and blocked it neatly with his
headt-Puck.
ITS. the leading society paper in the
@0h. distinctly II gets much the high
est rates for leaving things outi''-Puck.
Il caught that street car conductor who
owes me money on the car platform last
'5Bid you get your money!
NO, he did the same thing my other
What's that2"
Put me ofr.''-cleveland Plain Dealer.
The tenderfoot had ascertained the price
of a ticket to the east.
It's too much" he said. Isn't there
Yes, sir answered the ticket agent AT
Cory Gulch, pointing to collection o.
epees on the other side of the railway
track. There's scalper over there that
goes by tie name of Long knife. He'll
be slad to accommodate you. Here's your
change"
Fo-They say tobacco is a great disin-
she-Yes. I've noticed it often cleans
out your pocketbOOk in good shape!-De-
troit Free Press.
Diekenson-Lost an election bet, have
you2 I suppose it was one of those freak
TomwaIker-Yes; it was the most fdiotie
one ever made. bet the cash this
| time--Chicago Tribune.
IAN I your little sweetheart she ask
| ed lightly as she finished ironing his
You are my bosom friend" said he
fondly.-Judge.
First Humorist-Does your wife laugh
second Hunorist-No. She only smiles
pityingly.-somervilie Journal
I believe said Mrs Oldcastle. ''that
what a boy is depends largely upon his
7 know it, replied her hostess as she
carelessly toyed with her jewel box
He never knew what it was to have a
well day until the doctors found out it
was his environment. and cut it out
! -AlA-eSSo 1e~eoA 'Ae1i eNAei-
Did you say your husband was out
/ looking for work.
NO. I believe he's out looking at work
+ There are some men digging cellar
down at the corner and he doesn' t seem
able to get any further Philadelphia
What sensitive. delicate thing she
Mercy YES. why, she can't wear "A
sailor hat withent getting seasick- -
/ Cleveland Leader.
THAT girl has me where she wants me.
! She draws me out and always sees right
of me she shuts me up in a hurry"
Say. what are you-a telescope ~
I Philadelphia Press
why is that missionary making such
! a row. asked the African monarch.
nibaI chef, ''about the manner in which
we draw the color line Washington
Star.
Wicls-Hear what sninkins did when
4 the collection plate came around to him
4 in church last Sunday2
| Hicks-No. Dropped a button in. sup
Wieks-Not even that. He leaned over
and whispered; 7 paid the pastors fare
/ this morning in the car Wen call il
square. Philadelphia Ledger
Departing Guest-Do you permit your
! servants to accept Httle-er-presents
!
haven't any money left. have youf-
/ Cleveland Leader
Nurse-Bridget. come here an see
/ French baby born in Dublin
Erfdget-PoOr little dSrlint- It's great
perpiexity youn be to yourself. I'm
/ thinkin', when YOU begin shpealIin -
/ Punch.
First suburbanite-was your garden
second suburbanite-You bet 1t was.
NY next door neighbours chickens took
the first prize at the poultry show.-Chi-
cago News.
Tommy-Pop, what is procrastination7
TOmrny's POp-Procrastinatio my son,
is putting off till tomorrow what YOU can
get somebody else to do for you today
Philadelphia Record.
..stranse case, that of NIiggsley and his
at first sight.
That's nothing new
But they both had their automobile
rigs on at the tine.-Chicago Record
Herald.
Shepherd-What are all the volunteers
doing out today2
nteer-They're all out scouting
Shepherd-And what are you doingz
Volunteer-I'm scouting, zoo.
Shepherd-And what is scouting please
Volunteer-Weel. to tell the truth.
dinna ken, but We're a OF the scout to-
getheri-Punch.
ct heard you swearing at an awful rate
this morning What was the natter
said the first nat dweiler.
why, I was mad at that coal man for
swearing at the poor horse he was
trying to back into the COURT exclaimed
the other. with flashing eyes. TT was aw-
fu1r'-Detroit Free Press
I4andlads--Are you aware, Mr. Slsidoo.
that the less one cats the longer one
lives2
Mr. skidoo with his mouth fulD-sure,
But what's the use Of living that way2-
Judge
Mr.. Blnx out2~ asked the caller
Yes answered the junior partner
when VIII he be back o.
II don't know BinN doesn't know No
BODY knows. lie went ont in his new an