The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01
HUMOR OF THE Day

The Sunday school lesson was on Sam.
Now Wiliie,'' said the teacher. who
''Jerome!'' promptly replied the New
York boy. who read the papers.-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
shadbolt-I had such a funny dream
last night.
shadbolt-I dreamed that I asked ycu
for the money you owed me, and you
paid it.-Chicago Tribune.
Are you the little boy whose papa
writes so many cute sayings about chill
dren2''
Il suppose your papa is always eneour-
mo, ma'an. He threatens to whip me
if I even whisper when he is writing his
bright things the children have said
Judge.
Church. see a New York man has Is
educated dogs.
Gotham-Good gracious!0o wonder they
can't find seats for the children in the
public schools!-Yonkers Statesman.
Mrs. Newwed-I know now why they
call EN- safety pins.
Mrs. OIdWed-Why so2
Mrs. Newwed-Baby swallowed one last
week and it never hurt him bit
Northern Budget.
Rownder-Blame the luck anyhow!
Lusher-What the matter2
Rownder-Ah, my wife always stays
up for me when Tn out late at night.
Lusher-Y cure lucky. Mine comes after
ne-Cleveland Leader.
Ton-Yes, Miss Roxley refused me. She
said there were a dozen reasons why she
shouldn't marry me.
Dick-What were they?
Toni don't know. told her she need
not bother to mention the other eleven
Dick-The other eleyen2
TOm-Yes, her first reason was that her
father had lost all his money.-Philadel-
pllia Press.
There goes a typical Georgia cracker
said the native.
itor. ''Goes for meanshine whisky AID all
that sort Of thing.-I suppose.
NO, tina. fellow happens to ss a PRO-
''Ahi a regular water cracker.
deIphia Public Ledger
A widower took his second wife home
and. introduced her to. the children by
saying:
They looked at her critically, then the
rs that the best you could do. papa?
Chicago Journal
'rd like that tooth. please" said the
small boy after the dentist had extracted
Certainly. my little man; but why dc
you want it?' queried the dentist, hand
ing it over.
'9WeI, sir responded the gratifed boy,
I'm going to take it home and I'm go
fng to stuff it full OF sugar. Then I'm
going to put it on a plate and" with a
triumphant grin, watch it ache. New
York World
''John.' said the wife Of the suburban
tie. 81 want s25 today.
What for2"
i've got to do some Christmas shop
Christmas shoppingg. he echoed.
Great Scott. Mariei Christmas won't
be here for six weeks yet!'
Don't you suppose know thatf
want to be sure Of getting the things
here by Christmas, don't ~
John, in recognition of the inevitable,
forked over.-Chicago Tribune.
Mrs. O'Reiley-And are Yez on spakin'
terms wild our neighbor?
Mrs. Murphy-Av course an She
called me a thafe an called her an
other.-Pick-Me-Up
did you know. Willie. that your big
sister had invited me to take dinner with
your family next Sunday2" asked Mr..
'ssuTe-'s replied her little brother ma
and Pa told her they wanted to see what
kind of table manners you've got."-Phil-
adelphia Press.
Aunt-Yes.J Johnny. Santa Claus brought
you a baby brother.
Johnny-Great Scott! Another present
that amt any use!-Harper's Bazaar.
singleton-It's the little things that
worry a man most.
'en1 to buy shoes for this winter.-Chicaso
News.