St. Tammany farmer., 1905-11-18

told dad to let up on the kid or ne
would punch is bloody ed of. That
settled it, when the man dropped his
''h," dad thought he was one of the
nobility. and he got quite chummy
with the Englishman, and then we get
to London, and dad had quarrel
about his baggage. and after threaten
ing to have lot of fights he got his
trunk on the roof Of cab, and IN
about an hour we got to the hotel, and
then the fog began an engagement. II
the fog here ever froze stiff, the town
would look like piece OF ice with
fish frozen in. Gee, but would like
to have it freeze in front of our hotel,
SO could take an ak and go out and
chop frozen girl out, and thaw her
till she came to.
Say, old man, if anybody ever wants
to treat you to trip to Europe, don't
come here, but go to some place where
they don't think they can speak Eng
glish. You can understand Nitalian
or Frenchman. or Dutchman. who
can't speak English, and knows he
can't, better than you can an English
man who thinks he can speak Eng
lish, and can't, don't you know.
Everything is don't you know II
a servant gives you an evening paper
he says: 'Ere's your paiper, don't
you know and if a man should
don't say they would, but if man
should give you civil answer, when
you asked him the name of street,
he would look at you as though you
were cannibal, and say: Regent
street, don't you know and then he
would act as though you had broken
him of his rest. Dad asked more than
a dozen men where Bill Astor lived,
and of all the population of London |
don't believe anybody knows, except
one newsboy. We rode half day on
top of bus, through streets SO crowd
ed that the horses had to creep. and
dad hung on for fear the bus would
be tipped over, and finally we got out
into the suburbs, where the rich peo-
pie live. and dad said we were right
on the trail of King Edward, and we
got off and loitered around. and dad
saw beautiful place, with big iron
fence, and gate as big as railroad
bridge, and dad asked a newsboy who
lived there, and the boy made up a
face at dad and said: 'H'astor, you
bloke,' and he put out his hand for
tip. It was the first civil answer dad
had received in London, SO he gave the
boy a dollar. The boy fell over on
the sidewalk, dead, and dad started to
go away for fear he would be arrest
ed for murder, but kicked the boy,
and he got up and yelled some kind
of murdered English, and more than
a dozen newsboys came on gallop.
and when the boy told them what had
happened they all wanted dad to ask
them questions.
81 told the boys dad was Andrew
Carnegie, and that he was giving away
millions of dollars, SO when dad got
to the gate of the beautiful H'astor
place, the boys yelled Andrew Carne-
gle, and q turnkey funked the gate
open and dad and l went in, and
walked up to the house. Astor was on
the veranda, smoking a Missouri corn
cob pipe, and drinking American beer,
and seemed to be wishing he was
back home in America. Dad marched
right up to the veranda, like veteran
soldier, and Astor could see dad was
an American by the dandruff on his
coat collar, and Astor said:
..'You are an American citizen and
you are welcome. Once was like you,
and didn't care continental for any
body, but in q moment of passion I
renounced my country, swore al
legiance to this blawsted country, and