davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03
WHAT SHE WOULD TAKE.
Something That Would Enable Her
to Escape Those Hash
cry Jokes.

Gimme little cold polar bear" said
the man in the basement restaurant to the
waitress who, having brought him glass
of water, had stopped to get his order,
relates the Chicago Tribune.
Polar bears all out" she replied, with
far-away gaze that went past his head
without seeing him.
Got any iced Watermelon"
''Yeh Want some?"
mo, not if you've got it. How about
that picked tongue?"
S all right. D'u want that"
Not any for mine. I'm married. Well,
I don't see anything here on this bill that's
cold enough for a hot day in July, except
hot pancakes and coffee. Hurry 'em along.
will you? They are bound to be cold by
the time l get EN-
The waitress swept away, still without
seeing the customer. He called her back.
Here" said the customer, that was
just a joke. | want boiled dinner
What'n you take to laugh the next time
/ get funny?"
"Chloroform, said the waitress, as she
started for the kitchen.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03
The Cow Pasture.

A large portion of the impurities
Which find their way into milk are
bFought to it at milking time, says
Prof. E. H. Harrington, of the Wiscon-
sin College of Agriculture. If the cows
are not cleaned or brushed just be-
fore milking, more or less loose hair
and dirt falls into the milk pail. This
can be entirely prevented by brushing
and then washing and drying the
cows udder just before milking. In
dairies where sanitary milk that does
not sour for several days is produced
the cows udder is always washed and
dried Immediately before she is
MIXED; the mixer then washes his
hands, puts on a white suit and milks
into a covered milk pail provided with
only small opening in the cover to
milk into. s.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03
COUSIN TO THE KAISER.
Who, by Facetious Inference, Was
None Other Than His Sa-
tanic Majesty.

Emperor William of Germany, while
impatient of any crossing of his de-
sires, is not always the arbitrary per-
sonage he is painted, says the New
York Herald. In turning him from
his desires humor is a more valuable
aid than logic, and none knew this
better than the Baron Boetticher, at
one time secretary OF state for the in
terror.
There was under discussion the
names of numerous eligibles for va
cancies to be filled. To most of these
William gave ready assent, but when
a certain Office was reached on the list
he declared that that appointments
must go to one of his personal friends
instead of to the one indicated.
AS tactfully as possible the baron
urged upon his royal master the utter
unfitness of his favorite, bringing ar
gument to bear that under other cir
cumstances would have been unan-
swerable. At last even the emperor
had to retreat before the array of
facts, and as a compromise the baron
asked whether there was not some
other fayorite to whom the appoint
ment might be given.
Confer it upon the devil himself,
stormed the kaiser, who had worked
himself into a passion.
Il would suggest, offered the sec
rotary, that since the patent is to be
signed by your majesty, the wording
might we'll be changed, as it now
reads: To my trusted and well be-
loved cousin and counsellor.
There was hearty burst of laugh
ter, and the storm clouds were cleared
away as though by magic.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03

over the plants before they begin to
spread. The shoots as they become
heavy with fruit fall over against the
sides of the rack and are prevented from
coming in contact with the earth. For
a kitchen garden where but few plants
are grown this is a very satisfactory
plan. The plants can be set somewhat
closer than is the. case where no sup
ports are provided. For commercial
plantations, however, the cost of the
frames is prohibitive. The common
commercial practice is to place the
plants about four feet apart each way
in check rows SO as to allow them to be
cultivated in both directions. Under
intensive cultivation in small garden,
however, the first method, that of tying
the vines to stakes, will be found very
satisfactory.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03

recommended by Stark Bros, the big
western nurserymen and orchardists, is
to remove alternate strips of bark one or
two inches wide as shown in the ac-
companying illustration, says the Farm
and Home.
Do this work in June and new bark
will form astonishingly quick without
injury to the trees. Yet a check will
be given the strong flow of sap, causing
the formation of fruit buds. The cut
should be made pointed at both ends and
may extend from the ground to branches
almost. or only matter of few inches.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03

the plants and the plants carefully TIED
to them to prevent whipping and TO keep
the fruits off the ground. All side shoots
should be kept pinched out and only the
central leading stem allowed to develop,
as shown in our first illustration. Ii the
plants are to be trained in this way they
can be set from Is inches to feet apart
in The row. and about 31a to feet be-
tween the rows.
Another plan sometimes followed in
the training of tomatoes is shown in our
second illustration. A faring frame,
about Is inches square at the base and
"a inches square at the top, is placed
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03
The Dear Friends.

Miss Paloozer-Doesn't that SpconaL
make you tired? | asked him the other
evening what made him SO lackadaisical,
and he sighed and said it was because ne
lacked daisy to brighten and sweeten
his life.
Miss Jellers-No wonder you didn't
like that. He knows your name is Rose.
Chicago Tribune.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03
When Reptiles Die

A Viennese naturalist declares that
nearly all reptiles that die from natural
causes close their lives between night
fall and morning, and fewer still IN day
light. Most reptiles seem aware of their
approaching death, seeking out particu-
lar places and there awaiting the end,
while those whose lives are spent under
ground come to the surface before death.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03
BETSY ROSS.
a quiet house. a quiet street,

a quiet house, quiet street,
"A needle and a thread,
a scissors and a square of blue,
Some strips Of white and red.
And slender hands that deftly stitched
The shining stars across
Twas thus the flag of Liberty
Was made by Betsy Ross.
Though Father Time has worn to rags
The ermine robes of kings,
And left the guns of war to rust
Among forgotten things;
Though crowns and scepters at his touch
Have turned to dust and dross--
Yet not broken stitch has marred
The work of Betsy Ross.
IN stately hall and lowly home
This day its colors wave,
The shelter Of the worlds oppressed,
The beacon of the brave.
Let glory on the nations shield
Among the stars emboss
The thread, the needle and the name
And fame Of Betsy Ross.
-Ninna Irving, in Leslie's Weekly.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03
Imnnrities in Milk

Stockmen that have large farms
and are doing a large business find
it to their advantage to have separate
pastures for their breeding cows,
keeping not more than 20 cows in one
pasture, says Farmers Review. If
there are too many cows with calves
in one pasture, it is difficult to give
them the care they should have. OF
course, it is only with blooded stock
that one can afford to go to the ex-
pense of providing extra pastures with
the extra fencing they entail.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03

by tying them to a
stake four or five
feet in height, says
l.. G. Corbett, of the
Bureau of Plant In
dustry, Washing
ton, in Farmers
Bulletin No. 220,
on the Tomatoes. "
A good stake for
t b i S purpose is
formed by small
saplings, such as
are used for train
ing beans, or from
a mill edge seven
eighths to one inch
S q u a r e. Thes e
stakes should be
driven firmly into
the ground heSida
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03

Oof! Confound it, what are they trying
to do with us, anyway? We must have
run against stone wall.
11:29-I wish / hadn't come in So
early What a beauty Grace Leaning
ton is-and as clever as she's pretty.
might have been with her instead of
wasting time in this stuffy car for the
past hour, too! I'm Rocky Mountain
sheep if they haven't run that switch
engine up beside us again. wonder
why they keep ringing the COMPOUNDED
bell! They certainly can't be afraid of
running over people while the old ma
chine is standing still at this time of
night.
11:40-No use. I can't go to sleep
here. They've run the switch engine
away, but that fellow in the next berth
is going to die in a minute or two No
man can use his. breathing apparatus
to make such sounds as he's making
and live. | wonder if he has a wife
and family It'll be sad task to break
the news to them.
11:53-Oh, heavens, but this is love-
ly! The conductor and porter are now
quarreling with somebody about his
ticket l was just going to sleep, too
! wish l had sat up and smoked.
12:07-At last things are quiet. The
porter has turned down the lights.
Now for good, refreshing sleep. |
need it. | wonder if Grace bennington
is likely to get stout in her old age?
12:21-Um-m-m Heavensl We must
have been run into by the fast mail
that time. I,hope nobodys killed. It's
that confounded switch engine. 1t has
come back and hooked onto us. / won
der where we're going now? Oh, we'll,
/ don't care much. Danger and death
no longer seem terrible to me- Maybe
they're going to shove us into the
roundhouse. If they'd only keep the
car moving l believe l could go to
sleep easier than when its standing
still I wouldn't be surprised if Grace
might get rather heavy after she's So
or 40. Her mother must weigh at least
40 pounds.
12:33-Bang, once more. I'll bet the
man who's running that switch engine
never had hold of a throttle before.
But perhaps his brake is broken, so
that the only way he can stop is by
running against something. I'm so
glad | got here as soon as the car was
opened. 1t would have been a pity if
/ had missed any of the refreshing
rest I'm getting.
12:40-I'm going to report this con-
ductor I don't believe the company
pays him merely to stand in the aisles
and gossip with the porter while pas
sengers are trying to. get the sleep
they've given up their good cash for.
1:02-There 1t is again. The switch
engines got back. oh, toot, dad burn
you, tooti You can't disturb me any
more by blowing your whistle than you
do by ringing your bell. The next time
l get a berth in a sleeper that doesn't
start till three in the morning they'll
have to have keeper on each side OF
me, I'll tell them that. Let her whis-
tlei Don't mind me! I'll bet hun
dred dollars that engineer has a grudge
against somebody in this car and is
trying to give him case Of nervous
prosration Grace takes after her
mother. That's plain enough. SUI,
don't know bit that I'd rather be II ar
ried to a woman who cot little 200
plump along late in life tEan to nave
one who dried up to nothing but skin
sad bones.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03
Voice from Arkansas.

Cleveland, Ark, July 3lst. (SpeciaD.-
Nearly every newspaper tells of some won
derful cure of some form of Kidney Disease
by the Great American Remedy, Dodd' 5
Kidney Pills, and this part of Arkansas
is not without its share of evidence that
no case is too deeply rooted for Dodd's
Kidney Pills to cure.
Mr.. A. E. Garlic, well known and highly
ly quarter of a century's suffering. Mr..
Garlic says:
Il want to let the public know what l
think of Dodd's Kidney Pills. think
they are the best remedy for sick kidneys
ever made.
81 had Kidney Trouble for % years and
never found anything that did me so much
good as Dodd's Kidney Pills. | recon-
mend them to all sufferers"
There is no uncertain sound about Mr.
Carlile's statement He knows that
Dodd's Kidney Pills rescued him from a
life of suffering and he wants the PUBLIC
to know it. Dodd's Kidney Pills cure, all
Kidney ills from Backache to Bright S
Disease.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03

bearing as soon as
one wishes. Fruit
fulness can often
be brought about
by root pruning,
girdling or chang.
ing the methods of
pruning or cultiva-
ton. A novel plan
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03
Do Differently Now.

Grandmamma When your grandpa was
counting me he always kissed me upon the
brow
Granddaughter-If man kissed me
upon the brow I'd just call him down a
little bit-Smart Set.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03

full note, express
ing her apprecia-
ton of Doan's
Kidney Pills :
Foster Milburn
Co. , Buffalo, NY.
Gentlemen: My
experience with
your val u a b ! e
remedy has been
equally crafty
ing to both my
self and friends.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03
THE PLAYWRIGHT-STAR.
Odette Tyler, Famous Actress, Values
Doan's Kidney Pills.

Miss Odette Tyler is not only one of
the best known dramatic stars in
America, but has written and produced
successful play of her own. Miss
TYLER las written the following crate
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03
Trapping Moles.

Yes, you can reduce the number OF
moles ann the mischief they do by trap
ping them No doubt about it. Buy .
trap of any scotsman.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03
KIDNEY TROUBLES
Increasing Among Women, Bot
Sufferers Need Not Despair
THE BEST ADVICE IS FREE

OF all the diseases known. with which
the female organism is afflicted, kidney
disease is the most fatal, and statistics
show that this disease is on the increase
among women.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03
MAKING TREES BEAR.
Method of Treatment by Which
Young Trees Can Be Brought
Into Early Bearing.

Young trees often make such rapid
growth that they do not come into
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03

Don't Get Footsore! Get Foot-Ease.
A wonderful powder that cures tired, hot,
aching feet and makes new or tight shoes
easy Ask to-day for Aliens Foot-Ease.
Accept no substitute. Trial package FREE.
Address A. S. Olmsted. lie Roy. N. Y.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03

A truly modest man is one who keeps
his opinion of himself to himself.-N. O.
Picayune.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03

If you see a man carrying watermelon
home, you can be practically sure that he
never undertook to do the same thing be-
fore-Boston Globe.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03
TRAINING TOMATOES.
Advantage of This Method of Guilt
waiting and Forcing the Plants
Still Another Method.

For earliest returns it is desirable
to train forced plants to a single stem
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03

Piso's Cure cannot be too highly spoken Of
Ave-, N, Minneapolis, Mimi. Jan. 6, 1900
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03
ULCERS FOR THIRTY YEARS.
Painful Eruptions from Knees to
Feet Seemed Incurable Until
He Used Cuticura.

Another of those remarkable cures by
Cuticura, after doctors and all else had
of Gainesville, Texas, in the following
letter: For over thirty years | suf-
fered from painful ulcers and an erup-
ton from my knees to feet, and could
find neither doctors nor medicine to help
me. until I used Cuticura Soap, ONT
ment and Pills. which cured me in six
months. They helped me the very
first time I used them. and | am glad
to write this so that others suffering as
I did may be saved from misery.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03

There is hardly enough fattery in the
whole world to satisfy one man who be-
lieves he has a fine figure that must be
dressed in the perfection of fashion,
N Y. Press.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03
OnETTE TYLER.

(Signed) ODETTE TYLER.
Foster Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. \.
For sale by all dealers. Price, so cents
per box.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-08-03

To prevent writer's cramp, use the scis-
sors instead of the pen. Lots of news
paper men are never affected by writer's
cramp.-Boston Transcript.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-03-25
FIGHT OF JOHN z. GAYNOR AND BENJA-
MIN 70. GREENE TO PREVENT Elk
TRADITION FROM CANADA.
EXILE IS SPENT IN LUXURY.
Exciting Incidents Have Marked Careers Of Two Amer
cans Charged with Defra udng Government
Of Millions of Dollars.
ecision prvy
Story Case Attracted
ternat

day, but they had a quarrel and separat-
ed. For months they were not on speak
ing terms It was this enlargement
that led them to abandon their palatial
quarters and take up separate private
residences.
Ie is said that there was a woman in
the case, and that Greene leased house
in the outskirts Of the city in the name
Of Gaynor. which fact. when he discov-
cred it, was bitterly resented By Gaynor
for domestic reasons. Gaynor declared
to his companions in the barrocm of the
Chateau Frontenac that Greene was un-
grateful, and that he would nor havs q
coat to his back were it not for him.
Greene who is an educated man and the
finer of the two, having once been an
officer in the United States army. APP
peared to look down upon his uncouth,
bibulous and talkatiye fellow exile.
But the trouble was made up months
ago ana the two are now fast friends,
busy In the joint effort to resist extradi-
ton to the United States. It is said that
Gaynof is the moneyed man of the two
and that Greene's means are compare
lively limited. Gaynor is supposed to
have pocketed the lions share OF the
money. secured from the United States.
The exiles are free men. but it is well
known that they are Swallowed night and
day by agents of the United States, and
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-03-25

Immediately raised by Mrs. Gaynor
and her friends. The prisoners law
yers went about Quebec declaring that
their clients had been kidnapped. At
once 3 boatload of Quebec officers was
sent to overtale the Spray and bring
Gaynor and Greene back.
Pursuit Of the F'.lgitives.
I The chase up the river was an eS
citing one, and the news spreading
rapidly, the progress Of the two boats
up the St. Lawrence was eagerly
watched. But the Spray was too fast
to be caught Realizing this, the chief
constable of Quebec, armed with a writ
Of habeas corpus from Judge Andrews,
OF that city, hurried to Three Rivers
on a special train, and, setting out in
boat with his officers, ordered the
Spray g halt in the queens name. No
attention was paid to the challenge.
GaynoF and Greene were taken to Mon
tIeal, where Commissioner Lafontaine
committed them to Jail
The High constable Of Quebec hurried
back to Judge Andrews on a special
train and secured another writ ad-
dressed to the Montreal iailer, who sur
rendered the prisoners; and SO Gay
nor and Greene went back to Quebec
on special train, feasting their Off
cial rescue-sa on the way. So fearful
we're the exiles that they would be kid
naped again, that they asked to be
committed to the Quebec Jail, where
they ielt reasonably safe from the Mon
treal and American detectives.
~ The case developed. it was eyl-
dent that Gaynor and Greene had laid
their plans deeply. The law firm en-
ployed by them included in it's mem
bership the premier OF Quebec, a son
Of the deputy attorney general and the
Canadian minister Of justice. The son
Of the extradition commissioner OF
Quebec was also employed by the ftgi-
tives.
The prisoners lawyers appeared be-
fore Judge Andrews and consented to
the Vacating Of the writ Thereupon
other Writs issued Fy Judge Caron, who
had had nothing to do with the case,
were served upon the Quebec jailer.
AS soon as he heard of this, Judge An
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-03-25

that any attempt to escape row would
be futile
Fugitiyes Are Ostraci1ed.
Greene and his wife live in splendid
! ly-furnished residence in the most fash
I ionable quarter of Quebec near the
! Governors garden. They are waited
upon by several servants, but they see
little or no company. In fact they are
/ bitterly ostracized, and the only persons
with whom they are seen, though re-
i spectable enough, are not OF the better
! class OF local society. They are oeca-
| sionally visited by relatives from their
former home, such as children BY Cav
nor's former marriage, but apart from
these they see very few persons except
! on business.
Gaynor spends most Of his time in the
! barroom, where he is tolerated for his
openhandedness by lawyers and poll
ticians who drop in from time to time.
Mrs. Gayn0r spends d good deal of her
time IN driving and horse riding. Ia
which latter sport she has been taking
| lessons from an officer OF the militia
cavalry. Mrs. Gaynor is an occasional
attendant at st. Andrews s. the local
Presbyterian church. while Gaynor him
self is once in awhile to be seen at ST.
Patrick's Roman Catholic church. It
is obvious that Gaynor has still plenty of
money. Some time ago he dabbled in
stock speculation but he has abandoned
that amusement now On the other
hand, Capt. Greene, who lives with his
wife and servants in an equally fiae
house in the same quarter of the city,
is practically reeluse and sees nobody
but on the strictest business. APPLYING
himself entirely to study. II spite Of
their money, in spite Of the clique OF
lawyers and politicians who have, for
pay, helped them to defy justice public
sentiment in Quebec regards these two
fugitfves with scorn. Greene alone
seems to understand the real bitterness
of his lot. And now that the privy coun-
Gil has overturned the plot by which he
gained his freedom, he is more tactiurn
than ever.
How Government Was Fleeced.
To understand this extraordinary case
u y necessary to recall its events. On
April y. 1883. Capt. Oberhn NJ. Carter,
OF the United States corps Of engineers,
TOOK eharse Of the Improvement Of rir- /
sefs ana harbors at Savannah. Ca, for
which work millions Of dollars had been
appropriated. He SO managed matters
that the Atlantic Construction COM
pany. consisting of John 4. Garnor.
Capt. Greene and Z. H. ana u. =. cav
nor, got control Of the contract. /
II May, 1897. Capt. Carter was an
pointed military attaehe Of the United
States legation II London against his
protest. Capt. Gillette, the engineer