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The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-08-30
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AUGUST 80. 1905.
a WELL KEPT SECRET.
How the Keeper Managed the Church
and Town Hall Clocks.

How the Keeper Managed the Church
and Town Hall Clocks.
The old matchmaker of small town
in the west of England recently re
tired, and the contract for keeping the
church and town hall clocks IN order
was given 10 his successor. Unfortu-
natcly from the start the new man ex-
pericnccd difficulty In getting the
clocks to strike at the same time. It
last the district council requested an
interview with the matchmaker.
You are not so successful with the
clocks as your predecessor" he was
told. ut Is very misleading to have one
clock strike three or four minutes after
the other. Why, before you took them
in hand we could hardly tell the two
were striking Surely you are as com
potent rs Mr.. III. ."
Every workman has his own meth
DDS, gentlemen" replied the watch
maker, and mine amt the same as
HIS were"
I'm decidedly Of the opinion that 1t
would be for the general good If they
WERE" remarked one of the councillors
"Very well. sir; In the future they
shall be-" came the reply. Il happened
to write to Mr. II. last week about the
trouble had with the clocks, and
but perhaps" he added AZ he produced
n letter and handed it to the chairman
you'd Ike to see what he said.
Dear Sir iran the letter. About
them clocks. When you get to know
what n cantankerous lot OF busybodies
the council consists OF you'll do the
same us | did for fifteen years forget
to wind up the striker of the town hall
clock, and the silly owls won't be able
to tell that both clocks amt striking
together. Tit Bits.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-08-30

Many of our people think Of China
ns land of ignorant coolies who are
SO inferior to ourselves as to rise
scarcely to the plane of human beings.
The fact is that China contains great
or number Of educated and cultivated
people than any other country IN the
world. Their culture Is not like ours.
but II is based upon long study Of lit
erature, ethics and philosophy. and 1t
has been transmitted through many
generations. The Chinese have not
well learned how to act together 9th
crwisc we should never have dared to
treat them recklessly and unfairly
Review of Reviews.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-08-30
DRIVING BEHIND OXEN.
Bullock Travelling In India liz both
Common and Comfortable

Nowhere else in the world says
Dr. Francis t. Clark In ENerybody's
Magazine, "is bullock travelling so com
Portable ind SO common, probably, AS
In some parts of India. The handy Is
often fitted up In very comfortable
style, and, though the springs might be
improved. the comparatively slow pace
of the oxen makes them less important
to ones comfort.
The patient little white oxen trot
along ut n rate of three or four miles
an hour, and especially If 1t Is the even
Ing and the rcfulgcnt Indian moon Is
shining down upon you, IL the night
ingalcs are singing and the fragrant
jasmine Is blooming in the hcdgcrows,
you think that India Is not SO far re
moved from paradise after ALL
But, after II night of such travel,
when you come out In the broad light
of notwithstanding day upon collection
of filthy mud cabins and see the naked
children, hungry and furnished. the
gaunt spcctcrS of men and women
munching the uncooked grain dealt
out to them by generous hands in too
much of II hurry even TO cook the food
which they crave you revise your opin-
Ion and make up your mind that India,
than any other country In the world"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-08-30

| have heard that women are dis
honest In the way of sending To mil
liners for boxes of hats ON approval.
keeping them for week, and, when
they return them with II note to say
that none suits. the owners find that
each has been worn once. II not sev
by innumerable pin holes | certainly
myself have known women who are
not above sending for clothes on up
probation, carefully taking the pat
tern and getting them copied by n
cheaper dressmnkcr. Lady Henry
Somerset IN Black and White.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-08-30

Some years ago time long haired
goat formed part of the regular crew
of passenger steamer on service be
tween an English port and II cont
mental one. After time the customs
authorities discovered that 1t wore II
false coat many sizes too large for II.
The goats own hair was clipped very
close Round its body We're packed
cigars, lace, etc, and then the false
coat WAS skillfully put on and fastened
by hooks and eNes
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-08-30
Catching Cold,

Very severe colds are caught indoors,
the result of indigestion or foul mir. A
cold Is frequently brought ON by eat
ing a hearty dinner, becoming mentally
absorbed for two or three hours I'M
mediately afterward and retiring to n
warm, close room The food is not
digested. the temperature of the body
Is raised by the eXertions of the stom-
dividual rises chilled and i'll. Had re
taxation followed the dinner and the
room been supplied with refreshing air.
everything would have been different
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-08-30

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for
any case of Catarrh that cannot be cured by
Halls Catarrh Cure
Il J CHENEY n co, Toledo, o
We, the undersigned, have known 4. j.
Cheney for the last Is years, and believe him
perfectly honorable in all business transac-
tons and financially able to carry ont any obl-
cations made by his firm.
WAIpINd, kINNAN Il MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, o
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally, act
ing directly upon the blood and mucous sur
faces of the system. Testimonials sent fret
Price "a cents per bottle. Sold by all drug
gists.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-08-30
just the Way.

This article says that a person res
cued from drowning should be turned
face downward and vigorously treated
with hot applications"
That's just the way Johnny's moth.
or treats him when he has been swim
ming" Houston Post.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-08-30
Mnsnt WHOLLY Convinced.

WAL said the old lady, III the
airth is reound and goes reound, what
holds 1t up?"
''Oh, these learned men say 1t goes
around the sun and that the sun holds
1t up by virtue of attraction" he re
piled.
WAL, if these high larnt men seq
the sun holds up the airth, l should
like TO know what holds the airth NJ
when the sun goes down, That's
what's the matter"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-08-30
Telephone Notice.

THE MERCHANTS, AND FARMERS TEL
EPHONE AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY
have now built their lines into almost all
parts of llunttrdon County and are ready to
receive subscriptions for telephones at the
rate of Sl9 per year for unlimited service
throughout the county
The system now reaches New Hope, Lam
bertville, Stockton ldell, kingwood, Ser
geantsvillc Eingoes, Locktown, Croton, Elem
ueton, Three Bridges, Baptsttown, Rose
mont, Frenehtown, Milford Bloomsbury
Little York, Mt Pleasant, EVerittstown, Pat
tenburg, Quakertown, Pittstown, Clinton,
Annandale, Lebanon, Potterstown, White
house and Nhltehonse Station.
Applications for telephones should be made
to Charles n Reading, Frenchtown, n. j. or
Eugene Wilson, Sereeantsville, N J., which
will receive prompt attention
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-08-30

Ahotcl keeper has been found In north.
ern Missouri who is SO mean that when
baby was born In one of his rooms
he Immediately wrote Its name ON the
register and began charging II for room
and board. Kansas City Journal
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-08-30
His Misfortune.

Il can argue with any one here" said
the conscientious man tiercelN Il can
argue
"Oh yes, you can argue. said the
quiet little man In the corner. 1.-The
misfortune is that you can't reason"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-08-30
Mtsju,lWcd Him.

Lady A.--IIere comes thatAdreadful
man who sat next to me at dtuner He
hasn't the manners of pig. Mrs. Il.
How funny! ! thought he had
Punch.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-08-30

lt was Il reporter with some humor
who stated that AT the end of local
party the guests went home and the
ncighbors went 10 sleep"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-08-30
JOHN 4. LABAW,
FUNERAL DIRECTOR
u,<y YrpIF<r SrEIEr

All kinds of furniture repaired.
Work and prices guaranteed to give
satisfaction.
Night Bell on office door.
j. X. LABAW,
No. So North Union street.
Lambertville, n. j.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-08-30
THE MERCHANTS AND FARMERS
TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH CONPANl.
DON'T MISS 1T.

DON'T MTSS TT.
The state Fair at Bethlehem, Pa.
Worth going miles to see. Every
thing of the finest and up-to-date in
allrespects. Speed programme up to
Grand Circuit standard. More horses
than ever. 100000 in purses. Auto
parade on Thursday, September z.
Come and see the machines go round.
Music galore. Free attractions that
attract
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-08-30
LambertyiIIe Heat, Light and Power Go.
The Cost of Comfort

When the cost of comfort is balanced
against the desire for comfort, the following
figures may help the desire.
One FAN MOTOR, running at 1900 revo-
lutions per minute consumes 20 Watts At
Is cents per 1000 Watts per hour, 90 Watts
per 10 hours costs &c. If 10 hours comfort
isn't worth &c. the desire for comfort is not
very great and further figures are useless.
business mans time is represented by
dollars. Discomfort decreases a mans abili-
ty to turn time into money. The Fan Mo-
tor produces Comfort; therefore, it represents
to it's users a valuable assist in the hot Sum-
mer days.
We mouM be glad to hare go" inquire Of
as about this comfort
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-11-25
NOBODY SPARED.
Kidney Troubles Attack Jefferson
Men and Women. Old and
Young Alike.

Kidney ills seize young and old alike
Quickly come and little warning give.
Children suffer in their early years
Can't CONTROL the kidney secretions.
Girls are languid, nervous, suffer pain.
Women worry; can't do daily work.
Robust men have lame and aching back
Old folks weak, rheumatic, lame,
Endure distressing urinary ills.
The cure for man, for woman or for
child
Is to ours the cause.-the kidneys
Doan's Kidney Pills cure sick kidneys
Cure all the varied forms of kidney
suffering.
Jefferson testimony guarantees every
box.
E. g. Goodman, proprietor of restau-
rant, at Lafayette and Walnut sts, Norh
Jefferson, Texas, says: "For several
years my wife suffered with kidne troub-
les. She had dull, grinding pain in the
small of the back extending at times to
the top of her head. The kidney secre-
tons were irregular and of an unhealthy
appearance. She was feeling so bad that
she told me to go to the doctor, and it
just happened at that time that an adj
vertisement of Doan's Kidney Pills at
trected my attention and we sent to The
]. F. Crow Drug Co.'S. store for box.
Mrs. Goodman began using them and
the treatment so effectively rid her OF
the trouble that have never heard hel
complain of her back or kidneys since
She feels better in every way than she
had for years."
For sale by all dealers. Price Soc
Foster Milburn Co.. Buffalo. n. ", sole
agents for the United States.
Remember the name-Doan' sand
take no other.
For sale by The j. F. Crow Drug Co
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-11-25
He who waits for something to
turn up is likely to turn up in the
Stock Law Election.
THE STATE OF TEXAS,

THE STATE OF TEXAS,
COUNTY OF MARION. J Be it remem-
bered that on the 10Th day of Novem-
Der, 1905, at a regular session of the
Commissioners Court of Marion county
Texas, a petition was presented to the
said court, signed by the required num-
Der of freeholders, of the subdivision of
said Marion county, as specified in said
petition.
Said petition asking and praying of
the said court to order an election for
the purpose of ascertaining whether or
not hogs. sheep, and goats would be
permitted to run at large within the
boundaries of said described territory
to wit:
All of Justices Precinct Mol, Marion
County, Texas.
And the said court having given due
consideration to said petition, and find
ing same to conform to requirements of
law. Said petition was favorably acted
upon, and an election was ordered to be
held at the Goolsby school House, on
boundary on WEDNESDAY, the Doth
DAY of DECEMBER 1905, the above
named place being within the bounda-
ries of Justices Precinct No. 1. The
said election is ordered to determine
whether or not hogs, sheep and goats
shall be allowed to run at large in said
Justices Precinct No. /, of Marion
county.
Public notice is hereby given of said
election at time and place named, and
same is ordered to be held in compli-
ance with requirements of law.
This, the 18th day of Nov. A. D. 1905.
R. A. LOOMS,
County Judge.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-11-25
Discriminating Freight Rates.

Much has been said in Texas pa
pers recently regarding the freight
rates on produce in general and
cotton in particular. What is known
as the "differential" or extra 6
cents per hundred that is added to
cotton between Houston and Gal.
weston, has been attracting much
attention, not only of the news.
papers, but the people in general,
This differential is wrong in prin.
ciple as it favors one town against
another town. and the farmer he
pays for IL. Last year it cost the
farmers of Texas about $3.50, 900
in cold cash and will cost about the
same this year, and every year to
come unless the rail road commits.
sion can be pursuaded to revise
the rates and take of that unfair
and unreasonable extra rate known
as the 'differential." Farmers,
you can help persuade the commits
sion to do this by getting up petit
tions singed by your neighbors and
sending them to the railroad COM
mission at Austin. Will you do it?
About year ago number of such
petitions were sent to the commits
sion and it caused slight revision
of the rates on cotton, but not
enough. Try it again and save
money that can be used to i'm.
prove your farms and make it more
profitable to farm. Remembel
transportation cost money and the
less you have to pay out for it the
more you will have left when yor
sell your cotton.-Mexia Evening
News.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-11-25

7. G. Nye of North Laredo, has
a record showing that on four acres
of his irrigated farm, upon which
$1,000 worth of fertilizers four years
ago, and upon which he has raised
two crops annually, has brought
him in cash in four years, after
paying all expenses, the handsome
sum of $1,000.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-11-25
Beware of Ointments for Catarrh that
Contain Mercury,

AS mercury will surely destroy the sense of
smell and completely derange the whole system
when entering it through the mucous surfaces.
prescriptions from reputable physicians. as the
damage they will do is ten fold to the good you
can possibly derive from them. Hall 5 Catarrh
ledo o.. contains no mercury, and Is taken in
ternally, acting directly upon the blood and
mucous surfaces of the system. In buying
Halls Catarrh Cure be sure you get the genuine.
by F. ]. Cheney & Co. Testimonials free.
Address: F. ]. CHENEY & CO., Toledo o.
Sold by all Druggists, 75c.
Take Hall Family Pills for constipation.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-11-25
A Woman Writes.

THE FIRST LETTER that sick woman
should write or have some one write for
her is to Dr. Pierce, Of Buffalo, N. Y,
asking him il "FAvoRITE PRESCRIPTION"
is suitable for her case, and he will
frankly tell her so II he thinks it is. He
may have to ask some questions before
he can be sure Just what the trouble Is.
If you are suffering from uterine dis
ease, the symptoms Of which are head
ache, backache, sideache, pain in vari-
Gus parts OF the body, especially in the
pelvic region, bearing down, inhamma-
ton. liberation, then DIR. Pierce will
advise you to use his "FAvoRITE PRE-
scRIPTIoN" for he has had wonderful
experience in the use of this remedy. 1t
Is NOT A PATENT MEDICINE but 1t Is a
vERITABLE PRESCRIPTION that became
his "favorite" when he was engaged in
private practice forty years ago and
found that 1t cured more than ninety
eight out OF every hundred of all such
cases that came under his care.
The doctor found scores and hundreds
OF women who were being improperly
treated because their troubles were not
understood, and he determined to place
this remedy that he had used so success
fully within reach OF the multitudes who
were In such sore need of IL.
He made it efficient, agreeable to taste,
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-11-25

Com missioner Garheld's adj
dress in Washington this week on
Bureau of Commerce and Labor is
an interesting contribution to con-
temporaneous Federal literature.
1t gives one of the first official dis
criptions of the aims and objects
of that most important of federal
bureaus, the bureau of corpora
tons Whatever may be thought
of the work of the bureau up to
date, the scope and objects of the
institution is as yet young and it
remains to be seer whether it lives
up to the high standard mapped
out for 1T by the commissioner
But, as Jeremy Stickles says, if it
proves as good IN the eating as it
sounds in the ordering, it ought to
make very good meal.
Commissioner Garfield says that
there is great deal of work before
bureau before it gets possession of
all the information that is neces.
sary for the proper administration
of the office. For the benefit of
corporation and corporation man.
ayers. he says that the object of
the bureau will not be to pry into
private concerns but to see thatsthe
corporation which has many more
advantages than the individual in
business lives up to the standard
honesty and integrity and renders
the same account of its steward.
ship that would be exacted of q
private individual government
supervision without any attempt
at government ownership is the
keynote of the bureaus work.
work. Proper publicity without
without harrassing restrictions is
to be the line on which the super,
vision of corporations is to be con.
Quoted. 1t is a good program and
looks in the right direction. 1t
only remains to be seen how far
the high aims of the bureau chief
will be realized and it all depends
on the personality of that CHIEF
whether the bureau is made an in.
strument of public good, or a col.
lection bureau for forcing cam.
paign contributions from recalci.
trant subscribers as was darkly
limited some time ago. Mr.. Gar
field are both young, and they
should be given little time tc
see whether or not they live up tc
the expectations entertained O.
them.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-11-25
CHURCH DIRECTORY.

CHRIST CHURCH-Sunday School at 10 a. m.
Morning Prayer at II n. m. Holy Communion
First Sunday in month,
Guild meets every Monday at 3 p. M.
Rev. Chas. T. CoERR, Rector
&reaching at the Methodist Church every
sabbath by Rev. J. w. Holt Mt II a. m. and 1880
p III. Sabbath School 9:45 n. m, l.. s. Schluter,
superintendent Prayer meeting Wednesday
T:3O p. m. Senior League Thursday $50 p. m.
Junior League Sunday 8 p. H. Woman's Home
Missionary Society, first Sunday in each month
ta.S p IN. Choir, Saturday Up. IN.
PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH-services every
Bird Sabbath. Hours, II o clock m. and 500 m.
Sabbath School every Sabbate at 9'45 a. III.
X, X. RAMSEY, Supt.
All friends and strangers in the city most cor
daily invited to worship with us.
JOHN II. BELLOT, Pastor.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-11-25

Consular appointees must now
know at least two languages and
have good head for business.
This is a sad decline from the good
old days when one language Ter.
sistently used would get man al.
most any sort of an old diplomatic
lob.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-11-25

and, hest OF all, safe for any woman, old
or young, TO use. 1t Is NEITHER sTIMU-
LIANT NOR A NARCOTIC, just vegetable
tonic, and invigorating nervine, COM
posed OF native roots OF remarkable medi-
cinal virtue In the treatment OF this class
OF diseases, and its RECORD OF MORE
THAN HALF A MILLION OF CURES entities
1t to full confidence.
The one medicine for the cure of
woman's peculiar weaknesses and all
mentS, the ingredients of which are
printed and placed upon every bottle
leaving the great Laboratory in Buffalo,
N. Y, where it is made, is called Dr.
Pierce's Favorite Prescription.
II Stands ALone T nSs only y +, in
ingredients being known, but also as the
only specific advertised remedy for wom-
ans diseases which absolutely CONTAINS
NO ALCOHOL.
M Stands Alone as the one g,
women, the makers of which take their
patients fully into their confidence and
tell them exactly what they are taking.
This DIR. Pierce can afford to do, because
his rFAvoRITE PRESCRIPTION is made
of such ingredients and after working
formula that has thousands of cures to its
credit, placing its merits above criticism.
~ suffered with ovarian trouble for many
months until became quite discouraged as
Jnere was scarcely a Oay When l was not in
pain and my health was simply wreck.n
writes Miss Olive Hessler. of Syracuse. N. Y.
e read one of your advertisements and de-
cided that would try DR.. Pierce's Favorite
Prescription. as 1t seemed to have helped so
many who we're suffering as | did. | found
relief after using two bottles. and a cure in
three months-from what I considered was
incurable. l am very grateful, and so
pleased with my recovery. Life looks diff
ferent to me now. and ] shall always give
the credit where 1t belongs-to DR.. Pierce's
EavOrite Prescription
Send 81 one-cent stamps to cover cost Of
mailing and get. copy of the Common
Sense Medical Adviser" over 1000 pages.
Address DR.. r. V. Pierce, Buffalo, n. Y.
ESN>excs.a These ORIGINAL Little Liver
| ENssssw pills, first put up by old Dr.
KeWeSH r. V. Pierce over 90 years ago.
have been much initiated but
never equaIed. They're made OF purely veg
etable. concentrated and refined medicinal
principles. extracted from native American
| roots and plants. They speedily relieve and
cure foul. torpid and deranged Stomachs.
| Livers and Bowels and their attendant dis
| treSSful ailments. One or two laxative.
! three or four cathartic.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-11-25

Germany is said to practically
make the tariff laws for every
country in Europe except France
She has been 80 busy making
trouble for France in the past thir.
ty years that she probably has
not gotten aground to tariff legis.
lation yet.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-11-25
Sells More OF Chamberlafn's Cough
Remedy than of All Others Put
Together,

Mr.. Thos. George, merchant at M t.
local agency for Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy ever since it was introduced
into Canada, and / sell as much of it as
| do of all other lines l have on my
shelves put together. Of the many
dozen sold under guarantee, have not
had one bottle returned. can person
ally recommend this mekicine as | have
used it myself and given it to my chill
dren and always with the best results"
For sale by all druggists.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-11-25

The strike riots in Russia have
aroused wide spread interests,
But when it comes to casualty
lists, Chicago and some other re.
gions in the United States can still
make the Cars subject like rank
amateurs.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-11-25

A contemporary wants to know
what the Czarevitch will do for a
living when he grows up. The job
of pacifying Russia probably will
still be open when he reaches his
majority.