Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1905-10-19
TAKING TT COOLLY.

dinary GOODNESS in the midst Of danger
and otherwise that have been recorded,
are here afforded to our readers, to-
gether with some amusing sayings and
doings:
Toward the close of the battle of In
hermann, in Southern Russia Lord
Raglan, returning from taking leave Of
Gen Strangways, met a sergeant carry
ing water to the wounded The SER
geant drew himself up to salute, when o
round shot came bounding over the hill.
and knocked his forage cap out Of his
hand. The man picked it up, busted It
on his knee placed it carefully on his
head and made the salute, not muscle
Of his countenance moving the while.
"A neat thing, that, my man" said
Lord Raglan
Eyes, my lord" replied the sergeant
with another salute; but a miss is as
good as a mile"
The commander was probably not
surprised by such an exhibition of sang
froid, being himself good that way
Lord Fitzroy Somerset was badly hurt
at Waterloo, and suffered the amputa-
tion Of An arm. The prince of Orange
who was in the hospital, says Of Somer-
sets nerve
II was not conscious Of the presence
of Lord Fitzroy Somerset until heard
him call out in his ordinary tone:
Hello! Don't carry that arm away till
have taken off my ring!' Neither
wound nor operation had extorted
groan from his lips"
But there are plenty of people capable
OF behaving like Spartans where the
trouble does not touch their individu-
ality.
How can get out of this?" asked an
Englishman, up to his armpits in
Scotch bog, of passer-by.
81 dinna think ye can get oot of it, :"
was the response of the Highlander, as
! he went on his way.
/ While Gen Thomas was inspecting
the fortifications of Chattanooga with
Gen. Garfield, they heard some one
shout:
Hello, mister You! want to
speak to you"
Gen. Thomas, turning, found that he
was the mister" so politely hailed by
the East Tennesseean soldier.
"Well, my man." said he, what do
you want with me?"
q 81 want to get a furlough, mister,
that's what l want" was the reply.
'Why do you want a furlough, my
MANI" inquired the general.
".Waal, want to go home to see my
| "fIow long is it since you saw her?"
Ever since l enlisted; nigh onto
three months" 49,
"Three months!" exclaimed the com
mander. why, my good fellow, have
not seen my wife for three years!"
The Tennesseean looked incredulous,
and coolly drawled out:
WAL you see, me and my wife amt
that sort!"
John Phoenix, the American hui
morist, being one night at the theater.
fancied he saw friend some three
seats in front of him. Turning to his
lnext neighbor, he said:
Would you be kind enough to touch
that gentleman with your stick?"
Certainly" was the reply, and the
thing was done but when the individ-
ual thus assaulted turned round, Phoe-
nox saw he was not the man he took him
for, and became at once absorbed in the
play, leaving his friend with the cane
to settle matters with the gentleman in
front, which, as he had no excuse
handy, was not done without consider
able trouble When the hubbub was
over the victim said
Didn't you tell me to tap that man
with my cane%"
Yes"
And what did you want?"
"Oh," said Phoenix with imperturb-
able gravity, Il wanted to see whether
you would tap him or mott"
at the burning of a provision store
the crowd helped themselves freely.
One man grasped a huge cheese as his
/ share of the plunder. Rising up with
| it, he found himself face TO face with
a policeman, and with admirable pres
ence of mind put the plunder into the
officers arms, saying:
You had better take care of that, po-
1iceman, or some one will be walking
OFF with it,"
Equally ready to relinqnish his loot
when there was no help for it was Chi
cago negro, caught by a poultry fancier
in the act of carrying of some of his
live stock, and challenged with:
What are you doing with my
chickens?"
Il wuz gwine ter fetch 'em back.
boss" exclaimed he. "Dere's a niger
roun' here what's bin disputin' along
er me bout dem chickens. / said dey
wuz Coachin Chyniz. an he said dey
wuz Alabarmar pullets; an wuz jes'
takin' 'em roun' fer ter stablish my
nollidge Dey don't lay no aigs, does
dey, boss? Eff dey does. I'm mighty
shamed of hustlin em roun'. Aigs Is
scace."
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ben TTpomaraa