The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1905-12-09

boy who has partaken too freely Of
green apples; filed with internal trouble
Did you ever see a withered apple Or
the tree after the others have beer
gathered, That was the old maid" SAYS
the hardened sinner who does the par
graphic stunt for the New York News.
An Arkansas man shot himself becausc
he thought he was too honest to get along
in this world; and perhaps he was.
A lawyer asks: ''What is the point in
mau's career after which reformation is
impossible" When be goes into politics
is perhaps the right answer.
zone is the Isle OF Pines and the 9th +
is pile of Vines. If yol nave a comm
drum in your collection that will fit this
answer, please send it in.
The president of the Gaelic League ex-
will live in Ireland. That time. we pre-.
presume, will be after the dawn of the
miIlenium when no more policemen viii
be needed in American cities.
Should woman carry a revolver
is question which is agitating the East.
If she cannot shoot any more accurately
than she can throw a stone she should
not be allowed to carry a more danger
GUS weapon than bean shooter.
Young Teddy Roosevelt takes as
naturally to the gridiron as his illus
trious father once did to the branding
/ iron.
! A Manila, Iowa, girl. won a piano in a
corn husking match. As she lives on a
farm the neis shbors may be too far dis
tant to suffer when she has learned to
tear the shucks off few rustic tunes
Chicago society leader says the horse
show has become bore. Can it be pos.
sible that the rude men of that city now
pay more attention to the orse than to
the fashionable box exhibits
Little Johnnie now is good
Nothing does he shIrk.
Chops the kindling totes the wood
Whistling at his work.
Never misses sunday school,
Goes to church, the dear,
Lives up to the Golden Rule
Christmas drawing near
The belief seems to be almost univer.
no female angles in heaven This may
result in largely increased church at.
tendance of unfortunate men who think
they have seen too much of them here on
earth.
And now they are saying General
Funston never swan that river" says a
Pittsburg paper. Good heavens! Is
that old wormy chestnut to be cracke ed
AGAIN. The country had believed the
General was dead or in a nunnery and
the river dried up long ago.
The baptismal font of a Rochester
church was drsped in mourning because
of dearth Of babies to baptize. This
clever hint should induce the faithful
members of the hock to apologize for the
past and endeavor to do better in the
future.
An Iowa editor wrote that a promi.
nent lady was suffering from general
debility, and the types made it general
deviltry. With blood in his eyes the
husband of the lady came in, paid up
aud stopped his paper.
Senator Bailey Of Texas says it is too
early for the democrats to pick their
candidates for the presidency in 1908.
That's right. Let him hang and fully
ripen.
We have it from . reliable source that
the report in the eastern papers to the
eject that Nebraska corustalks are be;nv
used - fence posts IL incorrect. rhev
are being shipped east to be used for
telegraph aud telephone poles.
A petition signed BY 2,ooo, 900 women
protesting against Senator Reed il to he
presented to the senate. The d..,