Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1905-09-22


Johnny-To invesdgate.-New York
Sun.
First Old Lady-He was a bad char
acter; but l believe he repented at last.
Second Old Lady-Oh. no. he didn't;
l saw that he died intlstate.-London
Globe.
"Whata beautiful hat you're wearing
to-day" "I'm so glad you like 1t. You
have such good taste" Yes, ! had
one just like it-last r."-Meggen-
dorfer Batter.
Poor old Henpeck leads a dogs life
with his wife," "well, why on earth
doesn't he apply for divorceT He
says he wanted to, but she wouldn't
let him."-Ex.
II a man smiles and looks pleased
when you pay him a compliment, pay
him another one. In time you may be
able to borrow money from him.-Som-
erville Journal.
My DOCTOR" said Billyuns, has or
dered me to take more exercise"
What are you going to do?" Have
the ticker moved across the room from
my desk."-Ex.
Young Mother-The doctor says you
shouldn't kiss the baby; it isn't sani-
tary. Old Nelghbor-Poor little fell
low-why don't you wash him?-De-
troit Free Press.
Victim-What has happened? Where
am /? Doctor-You have been serious
ly injured in a trolley accident But
cheer up-you will recover Victim
How much ?-Ex.
Bank Cashier-You have overdrawn
your account, madam. Lovely Lady
That is just like mel My husband says
l am always exaggerating everything.
-Somerville Journal.
Mamma-Of course you said, "Oh,
this is so suddenv' when Tom finally
proposed. Daughter-No; l fully In
tended to, but l was so excited l for
got, and exclaimed, AT lastp'-Ex.
"Oh, Mr.. Brown, why did you leave
the Christian Science Churchp Real
ly, Miss Jones, If you will have the
truth, l got so awfully tired of being
30 perslstently cheerful all the time"
Life.
First AUTHORITATIVE you sold many
copies of your book? Second Author
absently)-Wonderful. Over a hun
dred thousand First Author-When
was 1t issued? Second Author-Next
Tuesday.-Life.
Il understand that your boy is get
ting an education" "Yassuh," answer
ed Uncle Raspberry, IAN mebbe he's
dom better'n dat. l honestly b'lieves
he's gittin' sense along wifi it,
Washington Star.
did tn docther find out what it is
that's ailin' yez?" mo. He said th't
nawthln' but a postmortem examina-
ton wud liver reveal ut. An haven't
enough curiosity about ut to have ut
done. "-Cleveland Leader.
Dear pop" wrote the boy from the
art school, don't send me any more
money! have saved half that which
you sent me last month" "Come
home" wired the old man, you'll |
never make an rtist."-Puck.
Chief-Do you mean to say that you
haven't been able to get single clew |
as to the perpetrator of this crime7
Detective-Naw. Them newspaper re-
porters is down on me and they won't
tell me anything.-Cleveland Leader.
Reporter understand that one of
your guests committed suicide last
night by hanging himself out of
third-story window. Lodging house
Keeper-Well, there was such a ROOM
er in the air for whlle.-Town Top
les.
Alice rushed in from the garden,
where she had been picking flowers.
She was badly stung by a bee, and
was holding on to her finger and Sob
bing pitifully. "Oh, mamma" she
cried, ~ burned me on bugr-
Brooklyn Life.
Young Lady repeating conversation
to deaf old gentleman)-Miss Frllls
says 1t gave her such fright. Deaf
Old Gent-Eh? l didn't quite
Young Lady-Such a fright Deaf Old
Gent-Ah, yes-I agree with you-so
she is!-Punch.
II suppose. madam" said the archi-
tect, you will want an electrolier put
in the drawing-roomT sure" an
swered Mrs. Neurich; 81 don't know
how to play one, but I'll begin taking
lessons at once, regardless Of COST
Chicago Daily News.
by the way, what has become Of
Browns book, One Hundred Short
Cuts to Wealth. that he was working
so hard upon last year?' "Oh. Brown
finished the book all right. but was
unable to raise money enough to have
II published. Judge.