The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-29


myers, I'm a goat if I'd have believed
before 1t happened that they'd go to so
much trouble to set the money put IN
70 IT'S. z Kiser, in Chicago Record
HUMOR OF THE DAY
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INHERITED POLITENEss
Little Johnny was polite;
he never failed to say;
! beg your pardon when he took
His sisters cake away.
When Johnny's father cheated men
That they had not the heart to cay:
He hadn't used them right.
Chicago Record-Herald
Van Brush says he is welded to his
Yes answered Miss Cayenne. But
they don't get on very well toEether.''-
Washington Star.
George-So you love that fellow from the
potion OF your hearty Where do come
HiIda-There's always room at the top
you know.-JudSe.
Mrs. Watts Trunps didn't attend the
last session OF the whist club. did she?"
No, she can't talk very well yet with
her new set of false teeth. cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Proprietor of Travelling Menagerie-Are
you used to looking after horses and
Applicant for Job-Yessir. Been used to
# P : e. o. r Nh. i. steps would you take
A F. G.-Good long uns, nister.-Punch.
the hand of year daughter in marriage.
Old Grumleigh-Has she accepted you?
Young Man-Yes. sir.
Old Grumleigh-Then what do you want
to come around and bother me with your
troubles for2-Chicago Daily News
AN the room in a sleeping car appears
70 De used for the passengers.' said the
lnquisitiye old gentleman to the Pullman
porter. Where are your quarters p
Wen, suhs was the answer. All totes
EN- IN a suit case till we comes to de END
Oh dc trip. an den All invests EN- in real
estate. Cleveland Leader.
Grace-George says that I satisfy his
soul hunger 50 thoroughly that we need
have no formal engagement. He says that
IN spirit We are already one. What do you
think of that?
Gladys-All very pretty But. just the
same I wouldn't let him tallrne out OF
the enga cement ring.-LouisviIle Courier
Journal
Miss Buffy-7vhat on earth are you look
Miss Fluffy-Why. I'm looking for an in
visible hairpin just opped.-Detrolt
Free Press.
George Ade, not long ago was speaking
Of the curious ideas some children have Of
the most ordinary things. Ade then said
the story ne was about to tell actually oc-
CURED IN Indiana. his native state. There
was little boy. who, on seeing a pan OF
warm, freshly drawn milk, inquired where
the cows got their milk
re9is. - - 80 3' '-''
you have to spank the cows ?''-Harper's
Weekly.
Why is radium so costly?"
Because its scarce.
And why should it be so scarce?"
Because it's SO costly. "-Yonlxers Her
DO you eat much. Mr.. Jenkins?''
don't eat it a great deal at this place, you
won't be able to swallow it.'-New Or
leans Democrat.
It suppose 7 do look haggard." said the
worldly man. I've got troubles enough
II you only had church to turn to
yo ID find relief" replied the pious man.
Not me. I wouldn't enjoy It. I've got
insomnia. p Philadelphia Press.
What do you think Of government own
ershi22''
dunno as I has much info nation bout it.
But it do strike me dat dere's enough
] lauH Dem 1ound VII ue cover ment nOWs
wifout putin no mo 'sponsibility on it."
/ Washington Star.
/ Old Lady-What, you are sorry you are
/ getting SO big? Why so?
enough to Know befter-Brookiyn Life '-@
Fuddy-The A NJ & T. is about the
! slowest road imaginable.
Duddy-Rea1ly. / think you must have
/ been misinformed Why, it is one of the
/ fastest roads in the country. It passed its
/ dividends the first year and it has passed
/ them ever since.-Boston Transcript.
mo; I can't afford to work for 5000 a
Cant! And why not?"
Because it would be too good a thing
I for my creditors. They take it all away
from me.''-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Edyth-Are yo= going to Niagara Falls
on your wedding trip?
! Babette-No; I went there on my two
previous wedding trips and I believe its
a hoodooi-Detroit Free Press.
He--But what does your father see in me
sheSHe doesn't see anything in you.
That's why he objects.-Chfeago News.
The wasp was buzzing languidly around
the house cat. You needn't come any
nearer" said the cat
Il won't hurt you, said the wasp. I'm
half sick today, anyway
Which half2' asked the cat backing
| of.-Chicago Tribune.
stella-Her face is her fortune.
Bella-Another case Of the newly rich.-
New York Sun.
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
IFrom the Philadelphia Record.1
The spring fever germ always works