The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1905-07-08
rHE HoLo.tJp MAN
aTests tat Great Philanthropist az Sc.
Peters Cate.

Peters Cate
WELL" asked St Peter, "who arc
your
"Don't you know me7' returned the
applicant for admission. Surely my
name must be household word up
here. am Hardy Skinner, the great
philanthropist.'s
And what did you philanthrope ~
asked the sanity gate keeper.
"Me7 Gracious, Thought you peo.
pie kept set Of books and had every
body's record. Well, I'll tell you. I
gave away more than 81, 0oO, 600 yes,
sir, just gave 1t to the people by fur
nishtng them with art galleries,
libraries, hospitals. colleges and that
sort Of thing" .fE Il,
"Well, WELL" said st. Peter, that
was a lot Of money to give away.
How much were you worln when YOU
diedT" ,r..' s+'''' F7 s. 9 '7;'.,s
'f0h, couldn't tell you exactly, but
I'd estimate it conservatiyely at about
$500. O00, 600" ''S '-..' =
"Whew! And how did you get lit"
How did l get it," replied the spirit
Of Hardy Skinner, rubbing its trans
parent hands together in the old sat-
isfed way that had been natural to
him in the flesh, why, got it through
my great ability as captain of In
dustry. got rebates from railroads,
violated the laws in perfectly respect
able and ingenious ways, forced my
| nr hVNof ~
ing my products away below cost
where there was opposition and charg-
ing ten times more than was fair
where there was nobody to buck
against me. But you know that sort
of thing is perfectly legitimate In
business. Yes, you mustn't overlook
that fact. My method, you see, was 9
necessary outgrowth Of commercial
expansion. It was q natural develop
ment due to modern conditions."
81 see You forced other people to
give up whatever you saw ut to take
from them and denied them the right
to engage in the kind Of business you
were conducting"
That's putting it rather rough, II
seems to me. Still, Wen admit, fol-
the sake Of the argument, that 1t was
as you say. Think Of the money
gave back! Aha, there's where l fixed
myself up for the glory in heaven
Ell? Think of a man giving 1000,
0O0 To-"
EXCUSE me a, moment" said St
Peter, "till 1 find out what that spirit
wants. Come, what is itT
''Please let me in, said a repulsive
looking shape as 1t approached the
gate.
"Who were you and what did yor
do to deserve admittance"
81 was a hold-up man-but wal
till tell you about It. never robbed
fellow of all he had without giving
him back a dime or quarter to ge
home with or to secure lodging fol
the night" .l
What" asked st. Peter, turning
to the spirit Of Hardy Skinner, "woult
you do If you were in my place? d.
you think 1 ought to let him INF"
"Let him in? Certainly not! TIT
wretch deserves no pity. What dit
the return Of quarter amount t
when he had taken away $40 or Sol
from somebody who may have had tt
work hard to earn 1t? He ought tt
roast for $1,000 years."
"Good," replied st. Peter, "you ar
a wise Judge, and you have saved M
J the necessity OF considering your owl
: case any further"
J "Wha-a-atw screamed the spirit o
: Hardy Skinner. "You don't meal
TO-"
J But there was a fash and then
r whirrlng noise as of something heav!
/ dropping through space, after whicl
st. Peter turned to hear the pleas o