Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1905-02-24
DRIFTWOOD

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row and steal the STANDARD in order that they
may enjoy little sunshine they journey
through this vale of tearsl
There is just as much refinement and
social heights to be reached by queen
OF cookery, as a queen Of song.
Olympia was Olympia when Ia.
coma was a pup; Olympia will be
Olympia, when Tacoma is only known
as a side-track
And now it won't be very long,
Until the poet will appear,
10 throw OIL his great etfusion,
Then We'll know that Spring is near.
T. B. Gate City-No, Jew does not
always play a Jewsharp. Most times
he plays hayseed" and sells you 10
cent article for which you give him IS.
The fellow at Bellingham who stole
the rain. coat, dummy and all, which
a Bellingham merchant used as a sign
IN front of his store, cannot be said to
be model of morality and hon.
esty.
A Portland Judge, named Tanner,
Acted IN such queer manner,
That his partner, in chagrin,
Denied receiving the tin"
Yet many think he'll part from his
manor.
An independent fortune awaits the
lucky individual who places on ex-
hibit at the Lewis and Clark Fair
an old-fashioned "dead.ax" wagon,
with the time-honored yet ancient
hay-rack of years ago.
When Carolyn Wells, in the Metro.
politan Maga=ine, places "The Sea
Wolf by Jack London in her satire
list, she is foolish, very foolish. "The
Sea Wolf" could swallow ber and she
never would be missed.
A Portland man has invented what
he terms " seeing phone" Too bad
the invention was not in use and some
one had called up the lsw-ofiice OF
Mitchell and Tanner and saw for sure
if Senator Mitchell received the illegal
fee in his own office or not.
When a person drinks q glass Of
Olympia beer he is satisfied that no
better place exists in the State than
Olympia for the capital. And when
he has ten or twelve glasses under his
belt, so to speak, he knows it will re-.
main there, and will tell you so in few
words.
Hocb, the Bluebeard of Chicago,
could not expect to have q beautiful
black beard, after being visited by FIVE
of his wives at the Jail. His beard no
doubt turned white, caused by fright,
and if his hair did not fall out, he was
lucky thatit was not pulled from his
head by the five infatuated women.
Between the troubles of Senator
Smoot and Senator Mitchell, we would
much prefer the former. His was a
case of religion, which every human
being has the individual right to select,
so the law declares. while, in no coun.
try upon earth does the law concede
any one the privilege or right to con-
spire to rob his fellow.man.
The Chief of Police at Portland,
Oregon, advises citizens of that place
to carry guns or pistols. The Chief of
Police at Seattle doesn't need to give
this advice to residents OF the Queen
City. Most all men in that town
tote firearms but 90 far the hold-up
man seems to be the quickest with his
shooting-stick.
With California arresting State Sem
ators for boodling and Oregon indict.
ing her United States Senator for land
grabbing, with Senator Smoot Of Utah
being held up for having too many
wives, it seems that even in high 80.
ciety that evil doth appear and the
Devil continues at his old stand,
though being bounded for years, years
and years.
If q young man has money he can
get into sassiety" in Olympia; if he
has brains he can keep out OF it. At
the same time there are lots of mighty
good people who are "strictly in it,"
One of the very best fellows We ever
knew got in it once. By hard work
his best friends got him out and saved
him. But he was never the same man
afterwards.
The Pacific Tree and Vine, published
at San Jose, CAL, is the best publica.
ton OF it's sort that we have been per.
mitted to read. Every farmer, poul-
tryman, and stockman should "get
busy" and subscribe. 1t will prove
valuable and interesting. lAnd this
splendid periodical will be given free
for one year to all who pay q year in
advance for the STANDARDIZED
Goodheart is the ma me of q Belliug-
ham physician. We will wager he
gets the glad hand, the marble. heart
and the stoney gaze from many Of his
patients-that's all. If his name was
Bigcharge he would have more friends,
more money and more patrons. You
can bet there is something in a name,
and Goodheart is not the name that
will get the money for physician.
We heard a good and true story last
Sunday night. A woman had fallen
out with her husband and wanted to
commit suicide. She visited her next.
door neighbor and pacing the floor
pantingly asked if there was any car
bolic acid in the house-that she was
determined to die. A lad about IA
years of age said, "Why yes, we have
a whole bottle. Do you want it?"
The woman caved. She got out sof
the suicide notion right away.
Scarcely a man has achieved honor
able distinction in this world but has
attributed his success to the good and
gracious influences of q mother, or .
wife, or both. Whenever you see
monument reared to perpetuate the
memory OF some world-worshiped
name, bear in mind that while there is
. man at the top Of it, you may rest
assured there is "a woman At the bot.
som Of it," Whe never you see q real
man, anywhere, you may confidently
l"look for the woman"