New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-05-06
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

THE TALK OF THE DAY.
Editors merely human, as this excuse OF the
occupant of the sanctum OF "The Cheotah (Okla.)
Inquirer abundantly testifes: The editor is alone
for few weeks his wife and twins having gone
North for few weeks visit: consequently he is
to DO excused If The Inquirer is not up to its
usual standing, nothing inspires harder work
the part of than the presence Of two
bouncing young ladies to care for"
Great Blunder-'How did you know I was
II heard you singing" replied the gallant young
man.
yes and I don't think I ever heard such
beautiful voice"
THE song was so sweet and sentimental"
But that was not song
NO it was our college yerL"-(Chicago News.
Near the Tonga Islands. in the Pacific some time
ago fish net was sunk 5000 feet below the sur
face. That Is the deepest haul ever made. 1t took
a whole day to sink the net and raise 1t. Life was
found even at that depth. over four miles, where
the temperature was just above freezing and the
pressure 1900 pounds to the square inch.
THE SIMPLE LIFE.
ask not wealth or high estate
The constant strain of being great
Would only make me bored.
More houses than a man
Were almost worse than non, none at at all;
Would be a Gil1ed Hall.
Besides I'd rather not have land.
Enough that might settle down
In a small cot in Surrey and
little fiat in Town.
A few nice rooms-just here a book
And I should not repine.
My tiny coach-house might contain
For night abr oFo tFaa 6s for DAY carts
AS long they were smart.
,Bosomed in trees but not too dark
Should overlook the Park)
OF horses. both to ride and drive
Three at the utmost ought TO do;
And at a pinch one might contrive
To get along with two
would not have their mouths too light;
A1tb6Ig mag NV use seat is 9nr fr0m tigh
My hands are very firm.
q would not have my hut too far
From my more central pied-a-terre
For me 70 use my motor-car.
And the railway fare)
little sport at times-a change,
These should like within the range
OF my exiguous means.
With cheap amusements such as these
My life would be quiet song
1t would not be a life of ease
But one should rub along.
ONLY ask what may suffice
For simple fare and low degree;
As long as I can have things nice,
It's good enough for me.
Seneca and TIiawatha, two neighboring county
seat towns in Kansas. in discussion
dress suits. Hiawatha boasts of having several
spiked tails and declares that Seneca hasn't
solitary one. Seneca comes back with the charge
that lot of $3-a-week clerks at Hiawatha are go
ing without underwear in order that they may each
wear spiked tall coat and vest with one but
ton it.
Mamma, said young Great Bend hopeful the
other day, who is my closest relation? Are your
mo" sweetly replied the mother, your father
has that distinction. He never gives me a cent
And it was fun half hour before the old man
discovered that the paper he was reading was up
side doWn-(L4arped Illler ana roller
THE Chicago Record Herald" tells Of a railroad
restaurant where the patrons, though having only
ten minutes for refreshments" cleaned up such
space the tables to the left and TO the right of
them that late corners found nothing TO eat The
proprietor confded his troubles the head waiter
who undertook TO the day. The travellers
pouring IN at noon. pell-mell eager, in haste
and very hungry The head waiter had stationed
himself In the very centre Of the room. where his
six feet four lowered like lamppost in fog.
Suddenly his great voice roared out: Eat to de
right gents; eat to de right. Don't forgit youah
mammals. gents, but eat to de right. Ladies. please
foller suit" The success of the coored mans plan
was shown by the fact that after the meal suff-
cient fragments were gathered to feed the poor of
the town for entire day.
Pausing uncertainty before a desk in the big in
Surance office. the Hibernian visitor said to the
clerk, "Oi want to tex out pawlicy,"
Life fire mariner drawled the dapper clerk
with infinite sarcasm.
AN three. Ors thinkin'." retorted the applicant
"Oim goin fer stoker in the navy."-(Puck.
Canada like New-York has to contend with
greed and graft" which consplrng to despou
ii of its natural beauties rather to these
into dollars and cents. Under the Ross admins
tratlon not only the Niagara franchise
granted but The Mail and Empire" OF To-
ronto points out. the government showed in
clnation to despon Lake Temagami and make its
twelve hundred islands tributary to commercial
ism The government has pursued a different
policy and has announced that the Temagami
islands will remain the property OF the Province
and be leased openly under conditions which will
protect the fish. preserve the scenery and keep the
lake as one OF the delightful spots for appre-
catve summer visitors.
Not one.-He-Crowded, your thought
you went early to avoid the rush.
She-So did; but about five thousand other peo-
pie did the same thing.-(Town and Country.