The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1905-03-30
'l'gllL.I.kf
COLUMN
I How p Fl: iarriiaaIseiI,e.,

~ AMI
"a How % ProPoss darriaae.
BY Ratford I PIKE Il the twentieth
Century Home. j MI w
" Generally speaking, most Women
and some men give | d good deal OF
thoughtSto the subject of$ Y proposing
marriage. What they think about AZ
lssmainly$y theoretical and, therefore,
llkelySto be Incorrect; for matters %
sentiment, like dreams, 80 BY cons
traries. Thus, when you hear a man
declare that he Will never marry, you
may look for an early announcement
that heISis engaged. When. you hear
a young woman yowlng that she will
marry no one but a man who, Is tall
and dark and rich and accomplished.
it5is a sure sign that her future hus:
band will be a short, pale, red;halred
person on a small salary, who reads
Laura Jean Libby and doesn't know
the difference between symphony
and a ham sandwich. So itsisfinEthe,
matter Of proposals which$is a topic
that has many subdivisions and ram
iflcations. Among them, Is the ques-
tion how to offer ones:self, how to lii.
sure oneself against rejection, and
whether q woman ought under any
circumstances to ask n to marry
her. N Z 4; III II j h; til.
Everybody seems 70 view withscorn.
the notion Of q lprobosal Of marriage
may properly he made BY letter. The
general opinion Is that 1t; Is n rather
sneaklng, not to say commissioning
to3lo: Men who go through an ofter
In due form must almost Inevitably,
make themselves absurd! If they
don't ~ fis$ because they, are danger.
ouslyt experienced persons, or because
they. are not at AL carried away by
sentiment. Indeed, there lis not SO
much of5thls formal Offering as young,
girls imagine. These delightful be.
ings get their notions largely outSof
novels, and they have a stereotypedi
idea Of how the thing should be done.
Novels usually represent the man
as torn with doubt up to the very
moment Of tho proposal; us passing
Isleepless nights and rs fearing and
hoping until he lis worm down to 4 a
shadow-7-and then MS being suddenly
transported into n very heaven of un.
expected bliss. That Is all}yery well
4 ingbooks, but SinN life. 1t is otherwise.
Putting aside very immature young
men, and putting aside also the rec:
ords Of those objectionable coquettcs
who angle for proposals which they
Z do not lmeanito accept, but whichSthey
! pleasantly call z"scalps,s two state
\ ments may be safely made; Tho flrst
Is thatyn no man who knows the women
Of his world is ever rejected by one
Of them, The other statement Is that
/ very few men ever / make & any pro.
Dosal Sof marriage at all.i 81
/, Take the first statement. The right
sort Gilman who has some sense and
also q good deal of 5inslghtSneve suf3
fers the humiliation Of a rejection
1 because he learns his fateswithout5 &C.
! tually asking the question. After a
certain amount Of courtsh!p and when
his meaning has become very evident
q woman, ifiSshe be a womanly woi
!. man, will tell him what he wants Ito
y know, and she will do It in "a hundred
4 little ways, not one OF which will be
4 lost upon him. or course 5in5the early
days Of their quasl:friendshlp, when
shesis not sure that he Is serious, she
will be caprlclous and give full play
\ to all her little arts and destinations
. Just as she may also be cultaand
perplexing. That lis her right. Bit
I when she really comes to know. when
!: she feels that heR is 8sincere-then II
ne does not appeal to her She $will le,
! him see &c very plainly; and the sort
!, OF man whom I have: In mind will i'm!
aerstand and will take ii his j answe,
without ever having asked the ques
: ton. \, H 4;
II Again ~ she cares for him her. own
feeling Is at3least too strong 10 be dis
gullsed, It i masters and obliteratesss
4 that $indirection which ~ so feminine
a$quality it7eyen makes her glory lii lii
3frankness which Isl more truly NO
I man manly than the maiden cosness { ii
which novels ihaye:so much 4 TO say.
A Then is perceived a delicious blending
ofs timidity and seltab abandonment
and q drawing away OF the, veil sifoir
the IL one man In 4 all @the world And
So, It really Is not ne essarysto ask
thess foolisi formal question; but sthere
Z comes a time Nv hen both feel n I'd 4,