davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1905-04-14

ddneys themselves bieak dov and waste
,way cell by eel.
Bladder troubles most always result from
deraagemeit Of the kidneys and a cure is
obtained quiclest by proper treatment Of
the kidneys II you are feeling badly you
can make no mistake by taking Or. Kilmer s
Swanip-Root, the great kidney. liver and
bladder remedy.
lrcouecis inability 10 hold urine and scald-
ing pain in passing It. and overcomes that
unpleasant necessity Of being compelled TO
go often during the day. and 10 get up many
times during the night. The mild and the
extraordinary effect of Swamp Root is soon
realized. II stands the highest for its won
derful cures of the most distressing cases.
Swamp Root is pleasant 10 take and sold
BY all druggists In ffty-cent and one dollar
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1905-04-14

Home OF Swamp-Root.
ress Or. Kilmer & Co.
When writing mention
offer IN this PAPER.
Ike. but remember the
Dr., kilmer's swamp
bingham ton, N. ", on
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1905-04-14
The Cause of Many
Sudden Deaths,

There Is diSerSe prevailing in
country most dangerous because so d,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-04-27
MIR. Rurhank,s Latest Miracle.

Hamilton Wright, in the World To
day for April: The spneless cactus,
the latest plant marvel originated by
MIR. Burbank probably gives greater
premise of usefulness to man than amy
other OF Mr.. Burbank's creations. The
spimless cactus in an improved variety
of the ordinary Wild cactus known as
the p-ickly pear, of which there are
numerous species and more than a
thousand varieties. Bulk for bulk,
spineleSs is about half AS nutritious as
alfalfa, which has been pronounced by
the United States department of ag-
riculture to be probably the best all
around of known forage plants. But,
acre for acre. the yield of spmelesS
cactus will be far greater than the
yield of alfalfa. An agricultural cM-
pert of national reputation asserts that
the spileless will make it possible to
double the present population Of the
globe through the peopling of the des
erts. The spneleSs cactus is relished
by all kinds of stock. Horses, cattle,
sheep, hogs chickens, geese and other
animals thrive on it. When fed with
cotton seed or other hydrocarbons, it
will make n complete ration in fatten-
ing stock tor market In one respect
| il is superior 10 alfalfa, as damage Of
ten comes to stock by allowing them to
rum free in green alfalfa field
AS u commercial proposition it will
cost from $40 To S25 per acre to plant
spinclcsS when once it is generally
grown. 1t can be produced just as
readily as the spiny cactus, and With a
great dead less profanity. II Will, of
course, be raised from cuttings, and
these need merely be scattered over
the earth. Should u cactus be tipped
| over and the top tonch the ground that
portion will Immediately send out roots
exceedingly long and slender An adj
will LEG bn f.lIt-
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-04-27
Comic Opera i'm Real Life
l.iorettists Respectfully Referred
Colombia.

bushel" you will be given Palmira
bushel.
These casual ways of doing business
extend even to the church. A christen-
ing is great ceremony when the child
belongs to wealthy parents who are
willing to pay liberal fee. but 1 went
once into church in Buenaventura
which was filed by hundreds of peas
ant women and their babies The
mothers had come In from the coun-
try districts round about on the day
appointed by the priest to have ali the
young christened at once.
Costumes by Uncle Sam.
When the priest appeared the wom-
en- crowded around him. One said she
wanted her baby named Espiritu Santo,
another Marie de Jesus, third Gloria
t3erl dicton, and so on.
But the priest had no idea of taking
all that trouble for mere peasants. He
put The boy babies on one side and the
girl babies on the other. Then he said
the required prayers. walked down the
aisle. and sprinkled holy water over all
the children.
AS he passed the boys he said, briefly.
"Everybody's Peter" and as he passed
the girls. "Everybodys Marie" That
was the end of the christening.
In isolated instances. however, the
Colombian displays frugality in bust
ness that is we'll nigh astounding. The
United States postal authorities may be
interested TO learn that their mail bags
clothe the nakedness of many Colom-
bians. All most of the ports more Amer
icain mails come in than go out, and the
bags consequently accumulate. The
corrupt officials i'll the Colombian post
office sell them and they are made up
into trousers, shirts and other articles
of clothing. 1t looks funny to see u
man walking along the streets with u.
of his trousers, but you soon get used
to it In Colombia. When l lived in San
Jose mail bag trousers We're commonly
sold in the stores for SIS q pair. paper
money, which was equal at that time
to less than fifty cents in American
currency.
Soldiers, as we'll as civilians, are not
| averse at times to arraying> themselves
in the caStom plumage of other nations
/ saw Il review of some government
troops at Cali once. The mulatto re-
viewing general, like kingsley's colib-
ris at AYES, was gorgeous to behold"
| His uniform consisted of an American
| tireinan's black helmet. German black
| patent leather leggings, russet shoes.
red trousers and Il blue English navy
coat with gold epaulettes. AS he walked
| along the line OF troops he continually
tripped over his sword. On his breast
! were about twenty medals, and at first
| thought he must be a warrior of re-
nown, but when | got Il chance TO in
spect them closely | saw that they
were the aluminium medallons of church
societies which all the children of the
town Wore around their necks.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-04-27

Il think so. too" stammered.
II ! believe Us all a mistake"
N lnistak"! repeated the inspector.
Kindly explain"
Well, YOU KNOW. Their" have been
some impnstors calling at houses about
here lately. pretending to have come
from abroad. nd-and aunt thought
tone Il think I'm beginning to see
daylight now!
Why. it's like this" continued,
eager To get through the explanation
Aunt Mildred WAS windled only a few
days ago, Hni. as you had no letter of
introduction. She concluded that YOU
We're "a sort o second attempt" And
| related tie story OF the so-cnllcd Mr..
SteWartsons visit and the loss of the
l;y JoVe," CIRCULATED the Australian.
as soon as ! had finished. IA, seems ii IS
little more than a joke after all.
y telephone he'll rang briskly i'm the
adjoining room. and the inspector went
10 answer he summons.
A few minutes later the inspector re-
turned.
There is Sir Horace. | believed" he re-
marked 10 Nj. Goodwin. and II minute
later Tn" baronei entered the room.
"Why. Jim, ,ny boy. he exclaimed
seizing he Australians hand and
shlkins il heartily, what's the trou-
bic? You're not in amy scrape. surely?
mo, no sir Horace! It's only q
misunderstanding and IL word or two
I nom you vii! clear ii all up. no doubt
The position MAS quickly explained
| by the inspe, tor, Mr.. Goodwin putting
in sentence here an1 there.
pooh Rilicu!ous.' commented Tho
] baroue', Wien the explanation was fin
/ ishcsl. LOOK here. inspector YOU
know ne. ted you. it's prepos, erous
Bless my soul, Eve known MI. Good
win since liz WAS a boy-stayed at hi.
/ house, toD, when WAS out in Sydne.
last Year ITS absurd to suppose he'
trying 10 d.traud anyone of Il few
4 pounds absolutely absurd. OF course
4 II $ all a mistake"
That's just What I thought myself
4 sir. Observed the Inspector meekly
"and, after what you've told us,
should not of course, think of detain
ing MIR. Goodwin any longer"
Then. that's settled" said Sir Hor
ace cheerfully Come along, Jim, m
boy, you've got To have dinner wit
me tonight-l'll take no refusal, S
come along!" And the genial barone
made his way to the door.
Mr.. Goodwin came over to where
was standing.
"Goodby, Miss Macqueer." he said i
low voice. lat least-not goodby, onl
au revoir, for l mean to call on you
! aunt tomorrow and apologize for all tn
: trouble I've caused. Do you thipk She
see me?"
2 i've already told you that it's W
: who ought to apologize" l answered
land I'm sure aunt will be more tina
, glad to have an opportunity Of dotn
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-04-27
THE ARID WEST TO BLOOM.


w nat Secretary OF Asii'ui'"'S "'sot'
calls a great inland conquest is TO ne
gained by completely unscttinS the time-
honorcd notion that the vast areas oil the
west which cannot be irrigated can never
be made to produce any valuable crop.
Some of the most important work OF the
agricultural department Is now beng car
ried on with this end in view.
There are no bad acres said Secretary
Wilson. We have no useless American
acres We will make them all productive.
We have agricultural explorers IN every
far corner of the world and they are md
ing crops which have become 50 acclimat-
ed to dry conditions Similar to our own IN
the west that we will in time have plants
thriving upon all our so-callcd DESERT
lands We will cover this arid area with
plants of various sorts which "lsl ylcld
hundreds of millions of tons OF adnltlonal
forage and gram for western HOOKS ana
herds. our farmers Will gro" inns upon
land now considered pracncaliy "ortu-
less
The machinery of Mr. WILSON'S depart-
mcnt is certainly far-reaching. IT'S eSplor-
ers are traversing every distant lahd IN
the interests of the American farmer, ana
especially from the vast. high. dry lafids
of Central Asia, known as The cradle OF
the world where agriculture reaches
back from history into DIM tradltloh,
have come some of the most remarkable
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-04-27
Varieties of Insurance.

Insurance Press: How many kinds
of insurance are 1here?" asks u CORE.
spondent of the Insurance Press. BY
"A coincidence we received in the same,
mail the business card of an enterpris.
ing local Insurance agency in Il west
ern city which claims to have ON sale
"all kinds of Insurance and bonds"
Here is the western agency's list: Fire,
l,.e safe. rents, theft, credit. patent,
marine, tornado. accident, burglary.
sprinkler. lightning, plate glass. trans
portation, tourists baggage, bank and
messenger robbery, tailors and furni-
ture tlouters', physicians and drug
pists' liability; travellers samples, fidel-
ity, official guaranteed attorneys de-
partment. contract, judicial and court
bonds. teams. health. postal, elevator,
casualty. tlywheel. leaseholds, autoino-
bile, contingent. steam boiler. landlord s
liability, worlimen's collective, liquor
dealers license. general liability, hold
up Insurance. bank accounts.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-04-27

! know it's the sort of thing ought
To leave other people to say, but
think Aunt Mildred liked having me
stay with her. It's not To be wondered
At, perhaps. for she was a lonely little
woman.
Robbed of her husband by death only
three years after marriage, her son
Jackie-a bright little fellow of two
brothers who had gone abroad. one To
Canada and the other TO Australia
mother and myself completed her cir
Gle of relations. So every year used
10 come up from the country 10 stay for
=. month With her al Strcatham.
III was about a week after nay arrival.
and auntie ANA | We're chatting before
the fire In her boudoir. when the serv-
ant brought in a card. Aunt took IT,
and read Mr.. Andrew Stewartson.
Oi gong into the drawing room half
an hour after. | WAS surprised TO find
he WAS still there. and noticed that
aunt had evidently been giving him att
eruoou lea
Nora, dear. said my aunt, as soon
ms | entered this is Mr.. Stewar, SON.
Lei me introduce YOU. Mr. Stewartson
This is my niece Miss Maequeen' MIR.
Stewartson has only recently arrived
from Mouirea dear, and i'm sure
you'll be interested tn know he's a
great friend of your Uncle Franks.
MIR. SteMAltson ros" To go
Let me STE. he said, almost as If to
himself. what did do With my
cloves
He thrust his hand Int MS coartal
pocket apparently To fes! for them and
Instantly his face became the picture
Of iislnay
Great heave.;!" he exclaimed. I've
oeen robbcGi
"llew ny voxing' mumued
auutie sM0patheticnlly
Yes ii is" asserted the Canadian.
its not the loss Of tho money that's
aof Ding but ii upsets my plans for
/ dis evening ia arranged 10 meet an
old friend AT ocl0ck at Charing cross,
dine with him ana go To the theAtcl'
afterwards. It's nearly > already, and |
a3u see hoM I'm To get over to my
foeus ~ Hampstead and hack to Char
tpe IS in an hour, But one can
hrily have an evening our ON this"
lilo dreW out a shilling and three cop
perN and looked al them disgustedly
But surely we cam arrange a little
matter like that, Mn. Stewaltson2'
sand auntic kindly. Can can | er-
offer to lend YOU
Mould er would seven pounds he
TOO much
No l think l can manage that. If
you'll excuse me I'll just z, and get IT, =
When auntie returned With the
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-04-27
The TEACHERS FOE
a LIE ALWAYS THREATENED By
NERVOUS PROsTRATION.
One who Broke Down from Six Years Oh
Overworl5 Tells How s,le Escaped
Misery of Enforced Idlencss.

One Who Broke Down from Six Years Oh
OverworlS Tells How She Escaped
Misery Of Enforced Idlencss.
81 had been teaching i'll the city
schools steadily for six years, said Miss
James, whose recent return to the work
from which she was driven by nervous
collapse has attracted attention. stThey
We're greatly overcrowded, especially in
the primary department of which had
charge, and had been doing the work
of two teachers. The strain was too
much for my nerves and two years ago
the crisis came.
Il was Frustrated mentally and ply
sically, sent in my resignation and never
expected to be able to resume work. 1t
seemed to me then that was the most
miserable woman on earth. I was tor
tured by nervous headaches, Worn out by
inability to sleep, and had so little
blood that was as white as chalk.
"After my active life, it was hard to
bear idleness, and terribly discouraging
to keep paying out the savings of years
for medicines which did me no good
elbow did you get back your health 20
ga bare chance and lot of faith led
me to cure. After l had suffered for
manly months, and when 1 was on the
very verge of despair, happened to read
all account of some cures effected by
DR.. Williams Pink Pills. The state
ments We're so convincing that some
how felt assured that these pills would
help me. Most people, think, buy only
cle box for trial, but 1 purchased sin
boxes at once, and when l had used
them up, was indeed we'll and had no
need of more medicine.
CDR. Williams Pink Pills enriched my
thin blood, gave me back my sleep, re-
stored my appetite, gave me strength to
walk long distances without fatigue, in
fact freed me from all my numerous all
ments. l have already taught for several
months, and I cannot say enough i'll
praise of DR.. Williams Pink Pills"
Miss Margaret NJ. James is now living
at No. 1913 Clay street, Dayton, Ohio.
Many of her fellow teachers have also
used DR.. Williams Pink Pills and are
enthusiastic about their merits. Sound
digestion, strength, ambition, and cheer
full spirits quickly follow their USE They
are sold in every drug store in the
| world.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-04-27

for n moment, i stared in amazement.
Could that open bronze countcnance,
lit by Il pnir ol the frankest brown
eyes | ever saw. belong TO rank
fraud? If it We're so. vowed that |
never again would | attempt to judge
!; man by his face.
We managed to get out u few com
monplace remarks. but the conNerSa-
ton soon Jagged.
AT that moment Susan entered the
room, closely followed by a police Of
teer. The sight of the latter was
quite enough for aunt.
Here he is. constable!" she eX-
claimed excitedly. Take him in
charge-take him in charge! We man
aged To keep him talking here till you
came she added triunphantly.
MIR. Goodwin rose to his feet
What IS the meaning of this?" he
asked.
u should think you ought TO know"
said my aunt severely.
pardon me, but / don't. If this is
a joke. I'm afraid | haven't caught the
humor OF ii up to the present
constable. but. if ! understand the
matter right, you'd best come along
with me and give an account o your
Self III Tie station.
The man in blue led the way to the
door, but paused ON the Threshold
TN be necessary for yon or some
body To come To the station, too.
mann, he said. looking nj Aunt Mill
bred. There : the charge sheet to
sign, ii needs be-"
"oh, | can't | can't" replied aunt.
Tho was getting a little hysterical.
I'm SO upset feel ready To drop.
Nora. dear You must go and tell them
all that's occurred"
When We were uShered into the in
spector's presence. and after what /
suppose Mere the preliminary formali-
ties had been gone through, Mr.. Good
MN SAID quietly
Il should like TO ask. inspector, if
you know Sir Horace Burroughs. of
The I'ils. Il house not far from here.
| bplicVc2''
Yes / should think we do" replied
the inspect
"Ah, Then viii you kindly send
some ON" 10 him at once With this
card, and say | should be extremely
grateful if he would come here i:nme-
eiately ="
Evidently impressed by the request,
the inspector dispatched the messen-
ger and then turned 10 me.
This appears To be rather Il strange
affair" he remarked in an official
manner.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-04-27
A Serious Error.

Town Topics: Druggist--Great pills.
/ believe i put arsenic instead of
powdered sugar in that mans pre-
scripton. Which way did he go" DO
YOU know who he was? What shall
| do" Can't you help me some
I'riend-Good heavens! l don't Won
der you're excited
Druggist-You bet. Why, man, ar
senic costs ten times as much as sugar,
and l only charged him for sugar!
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-04-27
An Evidence of the Real Thino.

Cocburn (Na.) Eagle. The gal who
will tear loose from the loving embrace
of her nanny and re-. through
barbed wire fence with clothes line
around her neck to kiss her lover
means it. She means it. Boys, she
does.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-04-27

soft you-if you would really care to
call again."
II should like TO come very. very
much,' he said earnestly.
1t certainly seemed so, for ne called,
not once. but many times. And one
day he But that is another story.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-04-27
Some Men.

ST Louis Republics Didn't hear your
husband quaireltng with YOU this morn
ing
Yes. he didn't like my first biscuits, .
We'll, some people would rather light
than eat"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-04-27

According to the late returns. there
are 1,756 distinct trades being carried
Oh in London and its suburbs.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-04-27
Comedy in the Currency.

NCmedy IN the Currency.
The fluctuations OF The rate Of ex-
change in Colombia. as in some other
Jatin-Ame,can countries, give rise to
curious financial vagaries. In 1899 the
10-cent postage stamp used for Euro
pean mails cost only 3 cents gold. The
government did not alter its stamps to.
fit the rate OF exchange, which indeed,
iluctuate,i almost from day to day dur
ing the five years revolution. The eX-
change went up and up, until at last
it was 10000. The cost of the 1O-cent
stamp was then. o. course. infnitesi-
NAL. You could buy pocletful of
them for cent, and they We're still
good to take your letters to Europe.
People were sending their foreign mail
practically free at the very time when
the government was most hard up for
money.
A small merchant in Cali brought off
a clever trick at the expense of the
government at that time. Samples of
merchandise were allowed to be sent
through the foreign nails TO the weight
of eleven pounds for three l0-cent
stamps. This man had 200 pounds of
coffee which he wished to send to Ham
burg. He conceived the brilliant idea
of making it up into 200 eleven-pound
\ bags and handing it over to the post
office, sticking the practically valueless
10-cent stamps on each bag. The gov
| eminent had to hire mules at $50 gold
apiece to transport the bags from Cali
/ to San Jose, pay for their trainage
thence to Buenaventure and for their
/ transportation by sea to Hamburg 1t
cost s14o gold merely to get the bags to
! San Jose, and all the merchant had to
/ pay was 60 cents to Hamburg.
/ There was no end to these tricks of
i exchange. At the beginning of the
4 civil war n merchant of my acquaint-
ance borrowed from another man the
sum of $4,000 Colombian paper money,
which was then 81, 800 gold He WAS to
pay it back in Colombian currency at
I. e end o! three years with ] per cent.
4 per month interest. When the debt
! matured exchange had risen TO $4,000.
so that ne was legally able to liquidate
his obligations with the interest for
about $40 gold.
Regular Stage Money This.
i AS exchange mounted, aud the gov
7 eminent notes sank in value to almost
I; nothing, and We're constantly 1luctuat-
ing. people did not want to do any bus
mess. III you went into u store and
wanted to buy goods, the merchant
looked OH you as his worst enemy.
Everybody wanted to acquire and hold
on to merchandise which represented
actual value, and at the same time to
get rid of the notes, which We're worth
almost nothing, and would be worth alb
solutely nothing if the revolutionists
triumphed. Ragged little boys on the
streets commonly had their pockets full
of bills to the nominal value of 500 OF
$20o--not enough to buy a square meal.
When exchange began to shoot down
as the revolution was stamped out
everybody Joined In the mad scramble
for the notes, which increased in value
day by day.
The system of doing business i'm the
county is topsv-t lrvey from start Il
finish. The peasant woman who sells
her produce in the market has two
stones winch she uses as pouni
weights one weighs pound. more OF
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-04-27
Alabastine-
Your
Walls

There is ''neac thought" in wall
decorations as in everything else,
and the new thought being inter-
preted means Alabastine.
The NEST beautiful arts and crafts
effects, the most artistic designs, the
Lost beautiful colorings this year are in
ALABASTINE.
aLABASTINE being made from Ala
ba ter rock cenents and becomes a part
OF Your wall. Some wall coverings are
made from whiting or chalk with Il little
glue mixed in. and they rub off. ALA
BASTlNE is rock finish. If you are not
satisfied with the appearance of your
walls, you need ALABASTINE.
We supply color schemes free for
the asking. Just mention the
size of your room. the use you
lut 1t to. and whether it is
north. south or west light. We
will supply you with scheme
for your wills. Don't forget
your church or school rooms. Us
they not need Alabasting? Sold
everywhere by the best dealers.
II not by yours write the
ALABASTINE COMPANY
brand Az. Grand Rapids. Mich.
s-A~.--Nes York City@....--
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-04-27
"cone DEBTOR

A man once annoyed a bad debto.
by writing the following lebtor:
Though l quite like your nerve,
IT'S but just to observe
That I'd like your coin very much
bebtor cleveland Leader.