Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1905-05-31
THE RUBRIC OF RUM
STEADY DRINKERS ANALYzE THEIR
OWN AND OTHERS PRACTICES.

After ALCOHOLIC AhSPAE"eAO
still His Conscience - Any Excuse
VIII Answer.
"Have you ever noticed" asked the
steady drinker, "how few Of us there
are who drink liquor without framing
I'D some sort Of an excuse for itT'
"That 1 have" returned the other
ateady drinker, with decision, land,
moreover, that there is an excuse to ut
every circumstance or mood"
ssay rather that every circumstance
or mood fits some sort of drink, ana
you'll have it right" corrected the nrst
as he finished mixing his highDan.
lone might add some Of the sophistries
and a euphemism or two and call II
runs ritual"
ut strikes me that you have the right
idea, but not exactly the word" said
the one who took his liquor straight
"1he rubric Of rum is much more
comprehensive, for our drinking Gus
toms are certainly fixed enough ana
written in red on the faces Of consist
ent followers.
"Perhaps the oldest excuse for drink
ing liquor with this generation Is the
time honored one of curing cold. our
fathers took rum and molasses, ana
the effect was glorious. We fall back
ON rock and rye, which has just az
slight an effect on the cold. In either
case II is the alcohol effect that one 10
after, and It is the alcohol one Is ex-
cusing.
1.-THE matter of moods and drinking
must be considered. You get news tnas
makes you happy, and you just have 10
drink - champagne cocktails, perhaps
Your child dies, and your grief is so
great that you must pour down the liz
uor. But it would be just the same II
the victim Of the grim destroyer was
your mother-inlaw. To hear one OF
these excuses one would think that II
was a case Of cause and effect, but
there really is no connection.
Every drinker knows that a cold
day Is an excuse for drinking. After
being out in the open for an hour, eat
ing I'D a bitter March wind, why, OF
course, you need drink. But, II II Is
awfully hot equally, Of course, mans
got to take a snifter. And then there
is a wet day. Bless you, we'd all have
been In our graves If 1t had not been
for the drinks that dried us out ON wet
days!
'There is no end Of sophistries In
this rubric. For instance, there Is that
argument of many followers that
Scotch whisky does not give one
headache and that red whisky Will.
II you are subject to headaches, drink
Scotch. Yet it is the alcohol that does
the work in either case. The hayoring
that gives the different color could be
put in ones eye without doing any
damage.
"rhe gin sophistry is equally well
known. Gin acts on the kidneys, so II
YOU fear diabetes or kindred troubles
drink gin. How it acts the drinkers
do not know, but they stick TO II
through thick and thin. AS a matter
Of fact gin simply does up the kidneys
If you drink enough Of 1t, as any pa
biologist will tell you.
at is remarkable how many drinkers
go up to bar and quietly ask the bar
tender to prescribe q drink for them.
"T don't know what want this
morning. the drinker will begin. I'm
suffering from heartburn
"The bartender promptly prescr1Des
lemon and settler or a gin ricky. The
door victim puts more acid into his al
ready troubled stomach and wonders
why the heartburn still pains him.
you've noticed surely the lengths a
drinker will go to keep from mixing
his drinks and brands. He firmly be-
Heyes that If he drinks more than one
brand Of whisky. for instance. the
same evening he Will have bad morn
ing after. or at least a worse one. lie
argues it out thus:
"'Oh. crickey. what headache! Let
me think-what did drink? In Smiths
| had ten or twelve Bunters, and then
we walked down to Jones', and there
we switched the brand and had eight
or nine more. That's II! We switched
the brand. II I'd stuck to Bunter's I'd
be feeling like a June morning instead
of a December afternoon. Never again
for mine"
"There are many honest folk who az
not want to drink much liquor and
stick to milk punches because 1t is NINE
parts milk. After two or three they in
sist that they cannot be under the In
fluence because they have been drink
ing nothing but milk punches.
II think most Of the euphemismI
come from desire to avoid saying
Give me drink Of liquor, or, in othel
words, Hand out glass Of poison.
Just now the most popular one Is, TAKE
a ball A few years ago every one WHIT
asked put It. Have smile with me.
Careless souls may say, Have jolt,
or Take Il jab,' but 1t is only the maj
from the west or south who comes on
boldly with, Come and have drink o
liquor and 1t is the bartender In Re-
Dog and not in the Broadway run
palace who says cheerfully, Nam
your poison, gents New York Trib
une.