The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1905-02-09
MRS. llARRlGAN TELEPhoNE3.
A Conversation That Makes for the
Merrifncnt Of the Rearer.

=
A Conversation That Makes for the
Merrinent of the Kearer.
(Mrs. Harrigan at the telephone.
Busy doctor at the other end, five
miles away. Mr.. Howson makes the
connection and Mrs. Harrigan takes
the recovery
Mrs. Harrigan-Oh, doctor, is that
you sayin' "Hallo?" Sure your voice
is sthick as a sick chicken.
What's that? Yes, it's Mrs. Harrigan.
But how did you know? Can you see
me? All, doctor, you're
flattercr. only one wild my voice."
is it? What's that
Yoo're in hurry. Well, yoo're like
me-in the middle Of washing. Sure,
amt it funny tarkin' SO far an SO
nanny hills between us? y
What do l want of 700? What does
amy one want of doctor? | want to
ak 700 to come up to see me by jim
my as soon as 700 can hitch up. He's
very hot an white, an I'm afraid he
has scarlet fever. He was so upset
yistiddy to hair Of the deaf of his
dear fri'nd Hiram Whitlock. He hat
ed to lose him; he vas one of his best
customers in the berry season.
What's that! 700 must be so
in? Sure it's comm / want 700 to
be. Doctor, l wish had one of these
things in me own house. It's nanny
time I'd be tarkin to we. | wonder
could you send med cine over it. If
it'll carry wurruds, it ought to carry
pellets; they's SO weeny.
Oh, doctor, wait. Will 700 bring up
yoor stummick-pump. The kitchen sink
is all stopped up, an | hate to send
for Mccormack, the plumber, because
he charges so high, an the lasht time
he KEN he shtepped backwids into
me bes' bonnet. 'Dade, it's me own
fault, for me man Mike tould me it
was lynn on the kitchen floor in the
marnin', but l was too busy fryin'
doughnuts for the baby An sure,
doctor, We might bring somethin' for
him. He doesn't &C right. think he's
cutting his first toot'. That's most
as bad as cuttin' yoor foot on scythe.
Ne man Mike left the scythe on the
barn floor, an the horse he was after
buyin' lasht week stepped on it, an
It famed him. tell him if he had put
the horse out to pasture it wouldn't
have happened Say, doctor, it's aw
full funny tarkin' in these t'ings.
| Somethin' is ticklin' me ear that fees
like the sound Of a trolley car.
Have l anything more to SAL?
Sure | have. An it's aisier tark>n n
in this way than phwin yco come Up,
yoo're always in such a hurry to get
away. Yco're goin' to ri lg
Off? What's that? l suppose sogle
of that slang that me by Jimmy does
be gettin' in the village. Doctor,
could a person tark trough wan Of
these in fog? 1t was arfll fog ~
this marnin', an if Jimmy had to-
sick amy airlier, I'd have made Mi re
hitch up, for fear l couldn't racle
700; but Mr.. Howson tould me
could use his telephone, an it's ais.ar
than havin' Mike drive down, for tpe
onions needs weedin' and Mike SAYS
! they're SO backwids he's not goin' to
bother wild thin. Lasht year we htd
illigant onions. Sure, and to be SUI e,
| stint yoor wife a prisint of thin, IN
she paid me tin cents a quart l3r
thin, an, l told her nine cints was
enough, but she's anyways that GIN
erous. Hello, here's jimmy
now. He's not lookin' SO sick, do 7e
think, doctor? Ha! he wants tark ID
700.
Jinmy-Hello, doctor. (The doctc.r
having hung up the receiver and go.e
away, there is no response) He;'t-,
doctor Never mind what motksr
says; I'm not sick now. Say, doct>I,
say somethin' want to hear how 1t
sounds. Sure, it's blissid little sou-u
there is, only buzzin'.
Mrs. Marrigan-It's the tarl1in' IL
it yoorself that's the sport. Re,s,
700 don't know how to tark. (Takes
receiver.) Doctor, never mind comt1'
if yoo're busy. Jimmy is better. BIT
amy time 700 want to tark with nc
az Mr.. Howson an he'll sind for ma.
Good-by.
(But the doctor is ordering his horse
'hitched up for the long drive
From "In Lighter Vein" in the Ceya-
f,1Yv