Los Angeles herald., 1905-09-23
Pi-IineS and Pick-upS
The Circus In Heaven

The loudly roaring lions and the hop
ping kangaroo,
The tigers and the monkeys and the
very funny gnu;
Some snarling, swapping leopards, the
rubber-neck giraffe,
Along with herds of elephants, hyenas,
too, that laugh;
The clumsy, awkward, hippo-"the
behemoth of the Nile"
Hump back and patient camels and the
leering crocodile
Oh, scores of other animals, and horses,
and the rest
The wonders were stupendous and the
angels sure were blest;
They tossed their golden crowns in air,
their cheers did loudly swell
But one small codger stood and sneered
and only said. "Oh, hell"
The circus magnates heard him and be-
stirred themselves to show
More and still stranger animals that
people hardly know.
They hustled up the mastodon, bovol-
opus and likes,
And trotted out a special cage Of
sharks and voluprikes;
A herd of ichthyosauruses, den of
ogolups,
wagon of sea serpents and flock of
bo1liwups.
But still the codger stroked his beard
full six feet long it fell
And gazed in bored disgust and pain,
the while he said: "Oh, HE'LL"
Tell u.s." the baffed showmen said.
who is that little cuss
Who stands and comments painfully
at all our noise and fuss?"
ooh, don't mind him." the angels cried.
go on; it's such a lark!
Perhaps he's Jealous. don't you know.
He's Noah of the ark!"
But will Andy expurgate that epi-
taph of his before he allows it to enter
the Carnegie Libraries?
Tulsa, T. r., has announced a meas
uring party" with girls and tape lines
as the attractions. Will the men go?
Well, rather!
It's all off, Some one explains it by
declaring that Mrs. Taggart once be-
longed to the original Florodora SEX
tette."
Prunes-His auto runs like the wind.
Plums-Yes, but the wind is dead
some days.
Prunes-So is the auto.
A. r. Gates of Curryville Mo-, claims
the championship set of whiskers of
that state. His are four feet long, of a
brunette shade. and just twelve years
old.
Full sleeves are announced as a
feature of fall styles. Empty pockets
are the corresponding male fad.
A Pennsylvania clergyman has a SER
mon only one minute long 'Twont do,
dominic; too short for decent nap
The man who declares he'd as soon
live in Panama as Chicago" isn't really
saying very much for Panama.
How soon will Mccall, president OF
the New York Life become Recall?
Jesse James, jr., son of tho late
lamented bandit, and himself pawn
broker and loah shark Ca more civilized
and effective holdup than his daddy's),
was robbed Of $500 the other day. Ret
ribution is slow sometimes, but
Mrs. Lemon-John, the hen ate that
paper of tacks.
Mr. Lemon-Well, now it's up to her
to lay the carpet
They complain of a new odor in the
New York subway-camphor and moth
balls Overcoats coming out of hook.
Bank deposits in Indiana are $40 per
capita. Does "literachoor" pay? Sure!
Pedro Alvarado, Mexico's Croesus
miner, has offered to pay that republics
national debt Send for him, Shaw.
New York girls now wear bells on
their garters. Has the hosiery show
about the Flatiron become so common
that shapely limbs must be heralded
by bells?
Pillows in autos are a new fad. They
break the shock when you run over a
man, yknoW.
The thirsty ground drank greedily;
The tired leaves looked up;
The dropping blossoms blushed anew;
Each raised an eager cup.
The browning grass took fresher heart
And caught it's green again
While all the earth seemed better for
The seasons first fall rain.
w. H. G.
Difficult Task
"TIow can get the ladies of my congre..
90 interested In heaXen!'
sighed the earnest young rector of the
fashionable church.
exclusive there" replied the old preacher,
sadly. by such means you may be able
to arouse a mild interest. st."-Pittsburg
Post.
Unenthusiastlc
'Are you going to entertain next VIM
ter?"
NO" answered Mrs. Comrox. I'VE are
going to keep on inviting a lot O. people
to the house. But L don't expect thai
they'l be any more entertained thar