Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1905-09-28
SID Ell H: s..
Tough on Mormons.

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Tough on Mormons.
A north Missouri pastor, compelled
10 pc absent one Sunday, sent an old
minister, who was q stranger in the
town, to fill his pulpit. The old broth.
er arrived Saturday and was taken in
charge by one of the deacons.
We'll. brother" said the deacon aft
er supper. what is your .ubject for
tomorrow"
Il believe I'll preach on temper,
ance." replied the old gentleman.
That's mighty good subject; we
certainly need to fight liquor" assent
ed the deacon. Then, after pause:
II don't know, though, parson,
whether under the circumstances, it
would be better for you to preach on
it or not. You see we are a little
peculiarly situated here. Our organ.
ist who is one Of on" leading mem.
bers., is the wife of saloon keeper,
and 1t would hardly do to offend"
i have pretty good sermon on the
evils Of cards and dancing" remark
ed the minister.
well, / don't know about that,
either and the deacon pulled his
beard. "Ycu see some Of our people
are peculiar and mighty touchy. The
daughter of one of the leading men
in our church dances and he thinks it
is all right. He's one of the best pay.
Ing members, too; and then several
OF our leading families play cards, just
for fun, YOU know, and don't see any
harm in it."
"a good sermon on the observance
OF the Sabbath usually hits the
mark" observed the minister "How
would that suit you
There is no doubt that many Chris
tians are careless about keeping Sun,
day. replied the deacon, evasively
Still | hardly know. Brother Snod
grass keeps his store open on Sunday;
says he has to, to accommodate the
railroad men. He's mighty good
man and the best paying member in
the church. And when you come tc
think abou' it, brother, the Master
wasn't SO particular about Sunday
You know he pluclsed the heads oil
corn on that day"
Il might preach on baptism" sait
the old minister, bent on attacking
evil in come form.
Il don't know about that either
said the deacon. 1--WE have been get
ting on SO friendly with the other
churches | hate to start row again
and you know the Methodists arc
mighty. touchy on baptism"
| well what shall preach about
demanded the old man in an aggriev
ed tone
you might hit the Mormons, broth
er; hit EN- hard they haven't 6
| friend in town.
Jacob Goldberg, who, until recently
has been in business with little Isaac
Silverstein, whom he bought out, has
had great deal of trouble with Ike
who persisted in hanging around
Jake has tried in every way to give
Ike thei cold shoulder and has repeat
/ edly snubbed him in manner thai
would make a less sensitive man quit
Last week, when 1t looked like rain
Ike walked back to where Jake was
busy at work selling suit and meek
ly said to Mr.. Goldberg:
II link We will hat rain"
This was more than the enraget
Goldberg could stand, so turning upor
Ike he roared: 'Vy say We? We are
no longer bardners! "Yerkes."
Oh, oh!
Said Henry Ward Beecher to hen
You are such beautiful crea
ture!"
The hen just for that,
Laid an eggs in his hat,
And thus did the hen reward Beech
er!
A fly and a flea in flue
Were imprisoned. Now what coul6
they do?
Said the fly: Let us fleet"
Let us f1y!" said the flea
So they flew through flaw in thu
flue.