Elk City mining news. (Elk City, Idaho) 1903-1913, 1905-01-07

CdSO
what are you plunging back in the
water for, Pat? You just swan
ashore" "Shure, OF had to save meself
first; now Oi'm going back to fetch
Moike."
Mrs. Backlotz-So your servant girl
has left you again? Mrs. Subbubs-~
Yes. Mrs. Backlotz-What was the
matter? Mrs Subbubs-She didn't like
the way l did her work.-Philadelph
Press.
Bright Boy-I'm a chip of the old
block, amt 1, pa? Fond Father-Yes,
my son. B. B.-An' you're the head o.
the family, amt you. pa? f. F.-Yes.
my son. B. B.-Then you're block
head. amt you, pa?
Clara overheard her parents talking
about Bible names. us my name in
the BibleT she asked. "No, dear"
Didn't God make me " yes" ''Then
why didn't he say something about
it?"-Harper's Magazine.
Fair Passenger-Wont you have a
paper, sir? Hoggly-Why-er-
makes you offer me a paper? Fair Pas
senger-I thought you'd be more COM
Portable while women are standing IL
you could hide your face!-Ex.
Teacher-The sentence, my father
had money" is in the past tense. Now,
Mary, what tense would you be speak
ing in II you said, my father has
money!" Little Mary-Oh, that would
be pretense.-London Tit-Bits.
Policeman-Why, my little dear, II
you can't tell me your mothers name
or where she lives, how are we to find
her? Little Girl Qost while out shop
ping)-Jes, put me in shop window
an mamma'll be sure to see me.
At the Club: First Member-I've
been up with the sun every day this
summer. Second Member-So have 1,
but after I've walked the floor with
him for awhile 1 usually go back to
sleep again.-Detroit Free Press.
What is a counter-irritant?" asked
Mrs. Smithers. "A counter-irritant"
replied Smithers, sis a woman who
makes the clerk pull down everything
from the shelves for two hours and
then buys four cents worth of hair
pins"
"Never mind" said the friend, sooth-
ingly, you'll wake up some morning,
and find yourself famous" Not
much" growled the pessimistic poet,
sit would be just my luck to oversleep
myself that morning. "-Philadelphia
Press.
Professor Robert, do you know the
meaning of the word precipice, Or
bluff? Robert-Yessir. Professor-You
may give me an example. Robert.-I
can lick you with one hand. Profess
sor-Sirl What's that? Robert
That's a bluff.
Mrs. Dearborn-Were you married
In June? Mrs. Wabash-Yes; once on
the fifth, once on the eighth and on
the tenth, and another time OH the
} sixteenth; but I've switched off to Oc-
tober; that's my marrying month nowi
-Yonkers Statesman.
Shocked Mother-My boy. my boy,
what became of that last piece of pie 1
left in the cupboard and told you not
to disturb? Little Oscar-I Gated 1t.
Shocked Mother-And what would you
call an act like that? Little Oscar
Disturbing the piece, 1 suppose-Buf-
fnlo Commercial.
Kilmore-After all, Stedman isn't Sc
bad a fellow. He came to me- man
fashion, and took back all the things he
had said against my people, Burman
Did it voluntarily? Practically that
1t is true l threatened to shoot him or
: sight If he didn't retract but that was
= only a matter of detail. "-Bostor
Transcript.
Church-Don't you dislike to smell
. the odor from those automobiles
Gotham-No, 1 like to smell 1t. "Yot
!, do" II certainly do. You know yor
! can't smell the odor until the machin,
4 has gone by" 81 know it." well
a If the machine has gone by, and yo,
q can smell at all. you're pretty sure tina
y you haven't been struck. "-Yonker
: Statesman.
? Halo, Gudger, I've been lookin,
II for you a week. Couldn't find you higl
II or low. Met a friend of yours tn
IS other day. He's been talking abou
e you, and felt it my duty to tell yo
IT what he said" "Ah, we'll, I don't car
h to hear what he said. 1 know 1t wa
lie something disagreeable." How do yo
r know that?" Because you are S
anxious to tell it. Good morning."
is Lawyer-You have taken your oatl
Dr. and L want you to answer each of m
is questions honestly Witness Ya