New-York tribune., 1905-06-23
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Judge Shelby, Of Alabama. according to Ine
Buffalo Commercial once talking about the
difference between swearing and affirming. What
ever the difference is,' he said. 'ft IS assuredly
not what certain old colored man understood 1t
to be last week This colored man. entering the
witness box. said he thought he wouldn't swear
He thought he would just affirm. Erastus. said'
how is this2 A month ago. when you appeared
before me- you consented readily enough to swear.
why it is that you will only affirm nowT Well.
yo' honah said Erastus, de reason am dat l
specks I amt quite sure about de facks O. dis
case as o. de odder.'
Pat phwat be mint by the easus bellf7'
'I dunno unless it do be the appendisaytus'-
puck
A story of a Scotch collie is current on the Der
byshire border, according to '"The Dundee Adver-
tiser" farmer in the Peak district, having
purchased a small flock of sheep IN the Lowlands.
drove the flock the whole way from Scotland to
his farm In Derbysbire with the aid of collie dog
which was lent to him by the Scotch farmer from
whom he purchased the sheep. When you get
to your home with the sheep" said tho Scotch
man, .Iet the dog I'LL his beilyi then tell him 10
go home" The Derbyshire man duly arrived at
his farm with the sheep. and was so pleased WIN
the collie dog and its performance that ne oe-
oided to keep 1t few days before sending II oach
One day he was away from home during the whoie
~ the dav and on returning In the evening he
found that the Scotch collie was missing, and
also the flock Of sheep In few days tidings
oame that the dog had arrived at his Scotch home
and had brought the sheep back with him.
Gan you tell by looking at horses teeth now
mo M but can tell by the rattle OF an automooiic
whether 1t is Of last year MAKE or not -tShi-
cago Record-HeraId'
An ingenious time keeping arrangement, accord
ing to 1.-THE Dundee Advertiser exists to-day
which was designed by the famous Duke of Bridge
water who laced South Lancashire with canals,
and died over one hundred years ago. The duke
was a great stickler for punctuality, and he was
annoyed that the workmen on his estate at Wors-
lev did not return work after dinner as prompt
ly as they left of when the clock struck twelve
When the duke demonstrated with his men they
replied that, while they always heard the clock
strike twelve times, they often failed to hear the
single stroke OF p. m The Duke OF Bridgewater
quickly found a remedy for this state of affairs
He had a clock made which would strike thirteen
times an hour after and that clock proclaims
/ o'clock with bsker's dozen Of sonorous strokes
to this day. This thirteen" clock is one OF the
curiosities of Worsiey Hail.
THE GRADUAL GRADUATE.
Grammar School.
He strides upon the brilliant stage.
Bows lightly to the loud applause
And with the wisdom of a sage,
Decaims 1.-THE Cosmos and Its Cause"
High School.
Again the hero of night.
His head is high. his voice Is sure;
He sguarely Locks 6 across % the Light r.
College.
Now, with the right TO sign "a. b.
But hardly with his spirit less,
He grasps his signed and sealed degree,
And reads 1.-THE Threshold OF Success"
Post-Graduate
Prepared with all the schools may teach.
He figures at public dinner,
And gives careful little speech
Upon THE Chance of a Beginner"
Life.
The years roll by. He wins his way
Hard through the thick OF modern strife,
And haitngly puts down some day
Thoughts the A B Cs OF IAfa."
Death.
His honors crown his weary brow:
He lives life to the fullest scope:
Gently he makes his final bow,
And breathes his theme. "A Humble Hopper
louisville Herald.