The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1905-06-23
Humorous


Ella-What nice hair Bella has. stel-
la-Wsu, . woman 10 Z fool to buy an
inferior artdcls-Town Topics.
The Lady-That isn't the same story
you told me before. The Beggar-No.
lady, you didn't believe the other ona
Elk.
Hs-Can't We just quietly separate
without getting 4 formal divorced She
But I'm already engaged to another.
Life.
rs your wife economically" Every.
She can tx over a ten-dollar hat for
SIS 20 it will look just a. good A.
new onA"-Puck.
Big Brother-Now, Willie, you must
give me the larger half of the apple.
because mamma says we mustn't be
greedy.-Harper's Bazaar.
How are you making out in writing
for the magazinesT "Just holding my
own. They send me back as much a.
l send them."-Detroit Free Press.
Uncle Josh-'Most every official that
amounts to anything has to file an an
nual report. Uncle Hiram-Yes; an I
guess that's about all some of 'em do.
Puck.
Tourist say, guide, what does that
memorial stone commemorate7 Guide
put it there. 1t was upon that spot
a tourist once gave me FIVE francs
Tt-Bits.
Meekly-Yes, we're going to move to
Swamphurst. Doctor-But the climate
there may disagree with your wife.
Meekly--It wouldn't dare!-Philadel-
phia Press.
Nell-Mr. Krammerer is so kind He
said took a very pretty and very ar
dsdc picture. Bell-Indeed? And
whose picture did you take, dear?-
Philadelphia Ledger.
LAdy-very healthy place, is it,
Have you any idea what the death
rate 10 here1 Caretaker-Well, mum.
I can't 'sactly say; but it's about one
apiece all round-Punch.
Mr.. smith-Td like to sell you a
ticket, cir. We're getting up a raffis
for q poor sailor. Mr.. Krusty-Not to
me. wouldn't know what to do with
q sailor II 1 won him.-Ex.
''Most divorces are caused by a very
common mistake" what 10 it,"
"Many a man In love only with dim
pie or curl makes the mistake Of mar
rying the whole girl."-Life.
Chrinda-Aren't you allowed to
keep a dog in your new flat1 Florinda
No, we had to give Fido away; but
Jack had his dear little bark put in
our phonograph.-Journal Amusant.
IdA--Ars they really 30 rich2. May
Il should say 80. When they slipped
several spoons and saucers into their
grips the hotel clerk said it was mere.
" the souvenir hobby.-Chicago News
"Heavensr' exclaimed the first moth,
"hers's 4 fine prospect Of starving to
deathl" "How soT inquired the 9TH
q one. There's nothing in this box
we're locked up In but a bathing suit.
Tx.
Miss Passay-You may sneer at pet
dogs, but they're faithful, anyway.
ia rather kiss Z good dog than some
men. Mr.. sharps-Well, well, some
men are born lucky-Philadelph
Ledger.
Edith-Is It true. Dolly, that Larkin
kissed you before he picked you up in
that runaway Dolly-Yes, dear; you
know he is studying to be a doctor,
and that was FIRST aid to the injured
Chicago Record-Hera
PHOTOGRAPHER would suggest that
you relax the features a little and as
sumo more pleasing expression. Mrs.
Vick-Senn-I suppose can do it If you
insist, but can tell you right now it
won't look like me.-Chicago Tribune.
what" asked the female-suffrag
advocate with the square chin, has
become of our manly men" "Some
Of them," replied the meek and lowly
citizen, ''have married womanly wom-
On, and are now engaged in raising
childish children. News.
Uncle George have read your artd-
Gle over, and must say 1t shows q
great deal Of originality. Arthur
Thanks, I'm sure! 1 fattered myself
there were some ideas in It Uncle
George was not speaking Of the
competition, but Of the spelling.-
Boston Transcript
It was ON the old camp ground.
Pass dc hat" suggested Bruddah
Whsatly. But the parson raised his
hand. mo, sah," he shouted, 'dere'M
be No hats about It Pass a tin box
wild q chain to It. Do last time a hat
was passed around heah 1t nevah came
back. and had to 90 home barehead-
sd."-Chicago News.
II must have a new gown and coat
at once" "Great thunderaton, wom-
IN, how can you ask for a gown and
coat when you have to testify in my
bankruptcy hearing next weekr II
simply have to have them. Do you
think I can face the people in the
courtroom when am wearing my old
clothes ?"-Indianapolis Sun.
Fond Mother-You will be years
e.