The San Francisco call., 1905-06-04
ST. PATRICK AND THE SINNER.
SEun1us r4AcMANus
BY SEUMUs MACMANUs.

he come out, an Pathrick hurled at
his head all the denunciations in the
Scripthurs.
An now" siz he, will ye consint
to be convarted? There's heaven. an
there's hell" siz he, .afore ye; make
yer own choice. Only this, IL ye choose
haythendom an hell. then off ye march
in the middle iv this thribe of sarpints
hereof. an into the say
'Misther Sent Pathrick," the hay
then was beginnin', but the Sent stops
him.
mo .rnistherin' for me, If ye plaise.
says the Sent. I'm just plain Sent
Pathrick."
then. would yer sentship kindly give
me an iday-a iv what sort Of company
goes to heaven"
ITO heaven" siz Sent Pathrick. /" IL
go all the good an pious people that
spends their lives in prayin' an fastin'
an meditatin,. all them that don't
carouse, an drink wine, an bawl
comic songs. an br' ak their neighbors'
heads at the fair"
An to hell?" siz the haythen.
ITO HE'LL siz the Sent, goes all the
bad people that, instead iv prayin' an
fastin', watehin' and meditatin', goes
fairs and frolics, singin an dancin',
dhrinkin' and carousin. fghtin' an
lovemakin'-all these goes to hell So,
me good fella, beware, beware! Re-
fleet upon that before we give yer de-
cisionn
But the haythen-sinner that he was
tux small time for reflection. yer
Sentship," siz he. "plaise dhrive me on
with the sarpints'
Poor Sent Pathrick was dumfounded
hered. An small wondher. Then the
lad axed him laive to go in an put on
a clane collar, an give his hands an
his face a lick, afore settin' out. An
the Sent. bein' no bad fella, consented,
an sat down on a stone outside waitin'
for him. But, behould We, the haythen
fer he was a purity purtickler kind
iv a buck-tuk a longer time nor Path
rick had bargained for, gettin' himself
until rotation: an the Sent had TO SEND
IN word till him to shake himself an
be quick. bekase the sarpints was
meandherin' about an annoyin' the
people passin' the roads.
Now this haythen had discovered the
sayeret of brewin' from corn what he
called Ishky-bagh Uisge-bath), or the
Wather iv Life, an what we nowadays
call plain whisky. So he TUX an sent
out to Pathrick a cruiskfn of the Uisge-
bath, to keep him company while he'd
wait an to sloke his thirst. bekase,
more be the same token, it was a
mortal warm, dhroutky day. But Sent
Pathrick was always wan iv the most
temperate iv men, an he sent back
word to the haythen that 1t was no
manner of use thryin' to temp an
bribe him; for him to hurry himself
up, il he plaised, for it would be hard
job gatherin' together the sarpints,
who, durin' this long wait, were
sthragglin' an sthrayin' to all parts.
Still, the jug havin' been placed at
Pathrick's elbow, the scent iv 1t soon
sthruck him, an Patrick immediately
begun dhrawin' in long breaths through
his nose.
II believe" siz he till himself at
length. its my duty as the Sent ~
this country to test what this evli
new liquor is like. so as to warn me
convarts agin' IT." So he hoisted the
little cruiskin to his lips, an let the
smallest dhrop iv the stuff sit upon
his tongue. He smacked his lips at
wanst, an TUX trifie more. The eyes
of the good Sent frightened up at tnis'
an he tried a third sup.
1T is a mortal dhrouthy day., siz
he. An then siz he TO the sarvint that
brought him the liquor: "Ye may tell
the haythen." siz he, mot to discom-
mode himself hurryin' too much with
his dhressin'. / have layin's and LASH
ms iv time
The poor Sent, poor man. was mighty
dhrouthy there's no doubt iv it, an