Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-09-28
DAILY SHORT STORY
THE coLoNEL's COMPLIMENTS

copyright. 1876, by X. N Whitehead
Who the colonel was and how he
came to get into state prison on fif-
teen-year sentence are points l shall
not discuss. There We're a number Of
us who did not believe him guilty of
the crime alleged, so we came together
Imprisonment
The plan as developed was to resort
TO bribery pure and simple. The
colonel had been in prison for six
months and had been made a '.trusty."
In other words, he was a messenger
who had the freedom of the yard. The
idea with us was 10 bride the gate
guard TO let the colonel pass on a load
of chairs going out. The man hauling
away the chairs for shipment was a
free man. and he must be bribed. The
man who always accompanied him TO
the depot was a convict. but one of the
oldest TRUSTEES about the institution.
He must be fixed.
Here were three men TO be won over
and one of them Il prison official. We
haIt TO move slowly and cautiously in
the matter There was money in plenty
TO do with, but there was need OF
diplomacy as well. The first man TO
be won over was the gate guard. The
discipline was such that the guards
Were changed every other day. but the
change was only between two men.
one was Il single mantle other mar
ried. We selected the latter, although
we judged him to be less yielding
than the former. AS man of family,
with his bread and butter at stake. he
would either be:ray us at once in
hopes to make himself more solid with
the warden, or he would stop and
think II over and end by taking our
bride. Our line of reasoning was cor
rect. He bluffed bit and then agreed
to think it over and a week later he
was our man.
We had little trouble with the
driver. He was also married man.
but his wife had gone west and he
wanted TO join her and buy a farm.
1t was solely a question of pride with
him. 1t was for him TO bring over. his
trusty, and that was soon accom-
plished. When we had our men Sc
cure the plan was this: The colonel
was to be passed out in place of the
trusty, who was to conceal himself
for at least half a day. The colonel
would 30 out at 8 o'clock in the morn
ing. and the load would be driven
straight 20 the depot. a mile away. In
the freight sheds would be con
cealed a suit of citizens clothes and
a false wig and whiskers. and the
colonel would make the change as
rapidly as possible. He would then
proceed on foot TO certain street
corner and there find horse and
buggy awaiting him. He would drive
across the country a distance of four
teen miles and then 90 into hiding
with a farmer who had been told
story to pass muster
We went over our plan dozen
times, but could find no weak spot in
it. 1t was bound To work. and let
me say that it did work. There was
no hitch-no betrayal. The thing went
off as If timed by the watch. Before
the colonel was missed at the prison
he had almost reached his hiding place
fourteen miles away. l say that no
plan ever worked smoother. but only
up 10 certain point. That point was
Ut AhC Nti tlid VI III lIS
on the last mile of the road the colonel
reached a spot where the highway sep
arated and ran around a mass of rock,
leaving an island in the center 1t
was only twenty feet across this strip.
and eighty feet down the road the
two roads became one again. A young
woman had been to the village to make
some purchases. and In returning with
her horse and buggy some part of the
harness gave way. She was out on her
feet making repairs when the colonel
came along. He was not on her side
of the island, and he had liberty at
stake, but he was Don Juan in his
way. Here was a damsel in distress.
and he could not pass without offering
her his assistance. He left his buggy
and crossed over and bowed like a
cavalier of old and said:
Fair Indy, 1 observe that You need
assistance. | shall be fiattered If al
lowed to offer it."
He had forgotten his false wig and
whiskers, which were easy to be spot
ted at close range; also the fact that
he was talking to the unromantic
daughter of hard headed farmer. She
took him for a brigand instead OF Il
knight. and began to scream. Between
her screams the colonel managed to
compliment her on her looks and admit
that his heart had been touched at first
sight, and in throwing one compliment
after another he gradually drew near
er. The damsel in distress was too
frightened TO run away. but she was
not too frightened to think OF resist
ance. The colonel certainly looked
tough In his disguise. and his seductive
voice Couldn't make up for It,
The weapon bandiest to the girl was
a bottle OF household ammonia lying on
the buggy seat. She grabbed 1t and
hurled 1t in the colonel's face. 1t
smashed at the impact. and next mo-
ment there was a howl to be heard a
mile away. II was all over with the
ealnnai a blinded onI h,,--,o.I