The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1905-11-19
CONFESSlONS
OF A GIRL

Charles and mad been engaged ten
tatively for month when 1 began to |
detect signs of uneasiness on his part |
This did not disturb me at first, be-
cause Charles is a poet and a genius
by temperament-thoug he has very
lucrative profession besides-and gen.
ius is naturally variable, SO 1 supposed
it to be passing mood. He came in
frequently, seated himself remotely and
gazed at me with sunken head and
an appearance of gloomy preoccupa-
ton, as though 1 were at the other
end of a telescope.
At first 1 was affectionately solicitous
but that only seemed to make him
impatient. SO I paid no attention to his
manner ard read, since he seemed in
disposed to conversation. Charles was
writing another poem, and he always
acts that way while he is writing
poem. Besides, he was having a fight
| with a man down on La Sale street
which he found very absorbing. So l
supposed one of these things was
| troubling him.
| On day, however, his gloom became
SO noticeably uncomfortable and SEEM
ed to have such a, personal application
| that l had to insist upon knowing what
was the matter.
It's no USE" he burst out. We've
| tried it, and it's no use. l must give
you up and live my life alone must
have freedom, absolute freedom. [ can
| not stand even the restraints of affec-
| ton. You have become very dear to me,
| but cannot be hampered in my mental
pursuits by continual sense of hu-
| man obligation. I am disenchanted.
| unhappy man who has learned that
| there is no such thing as individual
| happiness, and I have no right to alb
sorb your devotion and your unspoiled
| young life in my wretched, alien ma
! ture Marriage for US would be a mis-
cradle, chatting thing, and our love would
| die in captivity. I must renOunce you.
) Yes I must give you a chance to
find elsewhere the happiness you would
never find with me. I am going away.
am going over to England to take
| charge of our London office. I shall
| sail next Saturday,
| Then he looked at me tragically and
| I began to cry because I felt SO sorry
| for him. Though I could not see any
| particular reason for his remuneration
| Of me except his own wishes, it SEEM
ed to affect him deeply. I also felt
| sorry for myself, because on the face
| of things 1t appeared that I was being
| Tilted. But my crying seemed to annoy
him, and when he told me that he had
| always credited me with too much self
control for Mysteries 1 stopped. Charles
| then said he would come over Thurs
day night to say goodbye. When I made
no further demonstration of protest he
| looked relieved and went away briskly.
On Thursday morning / remembered
that 1 had an engagement with Bert
Griffith to go to the theater that even
! ing, so I sent a note to Charles ex-
planning that I should not he able to
see him again. 1t seemed to me a
| good way to avoid a parting scene
which would at best be painful
Charles telephoned me at midnight
seemed rather annoyed that I had not
stayed at hoE4e. He also gave me-
with particularly, his address to
which, he said, I might write. Still 1
did not pay much attention to it, be-
| cause it seemed to me that since our
parting was to be final there was 40
particular use in exchanging letters
| 1 was very busy for the next two Or
three weeks because Bert Griffith had
a vacation and we went around to-
gether a great deal. Several view cards
and a note came from Charles, written
before sailing, and also a letter mailed
from Liverpool. He said he had ex-
pected to find a steamer letter from
me, but feared l had mailed it too late.
A week later another letter came
from London. Charles wrote that he