The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-06-02
AN ILLUSION
IOriginal. ]

er was very much troubled for fear I
would marry some girl with nothing to
recommend her but a pretty face !
used to think that she wished me to
marry Margaret Deane, who knew how
to sew and cook and do a lot of pract-
cal things in which l took no interest.
/ rather admired Gwendolin Germain-
Gwendolin was d tender flower. just
such n girl as a man likes to take, un
der his protection. Her cheek was not
round and rosy, but there was d little
pale red in its center like a rosebud
painted on a china cup with lips of the
same hue.
The time came when | made up my
mind that unless l could win Gwendo-
lin my life would be a failure. | was
but twenty. and that's very young for
a man to feel that his happiness Is
bound w for life in one person. How
ever. | proved my consistency by years
OF devotion to the image l had set up
in my heart. Fearing that | could not
express myself with sufficient delicacy
to impress one SO young. so modest. so
tender. | wrote my proposal in a letter.
I was several days composing 1t. and
when finished ! left it for another day
on my desk in order to read it once
more before posting it
i was suddenly called away. and
when I returned the letter was gone.
/ asked my mother what had become
of il. and she said that ii had been
| posted with a batch of letters that had
been sent to the mail while | was
away from home. With this I WAS
| content and confident that Gwendolin
had received it and waited ~anxiously
for a reply.
When | met my love again I was
much emb& rrassed. My Imagination
made her seem to me cold, even Of
Tended. and as she made no reference
to my letter 1t occurred to me that for
some reaSoa-I imagined a doZen-she
was diSpleased with my proposal. l re-
manned with her but n few moments
vainlv endea voring to converse on trit
1es. then left her.
l did not call again, and within a yea
her family left the place where | lived,
and she went with them. My heart
went with her. / lived on a bachelor!
My mother frequently invited Mar
garet Deane to our house. and | could
see that she was intentionally placing
her in my way. Margaret accepted
whatever attention I gave her. which
was not much, but when | was I'M
| mindful of her she did not seem to-
notice it. IS the year passed | made
a friend of her, but it did not occur toy
me to make love to her. I
When | was thirty my mother died,
Before her death she made me a con
fession. I
My dearest boy" she said, before,
I die l wish your forgiveness. Ten
years ago i saw that you were bout
to choose a companion for life who
would not make you happy. | kept the
letter you wrote to Gwendolin Ger
main. hoping to gain time to direct
your attention to Margaret Deane. Ten
years have passed, and every year L
have intended to send you letter TOY
Gwendolin. | have never done so till
today. By tomorrow morning she will
know for the first tire of your pro-
posal, but by that time | shall have
left you free to choose for yourself"
And so my mother. to whom l was
SO devoted. had caused me ten years of
misery. l forgave her and did not
utter a word of complaint. Indeed the
pain | suffered at her loss neutralized
any feeling Of regret for my long suf-
tering.
The day after l laid her in the grave
I ook up a number of letters that had
accumulated-mostly of coincidence
and among them was one from Gwen
dolin. 1t brought the first of different
sensations from what l had experienced
since the beginning of my mothers
Illness. But with it came the remenl-
brance of what my mother must have
endured from her distaste for my
choice. Margaret had been with her
constantly in her last days and had
comforted her as IL she had been her
own daughter.
l felt an Inclination to complete the
sacrifice my mother had brought o
by acceding to her wishes and giving
Margaret the option of being my wife.
But / was bound in honor to Gwendo-
lin as well as by love. In her letter she
asked me to come and see her IL l felt
30 inclined, since she would talk to me
rather than write.
A few days later | went 10 see her.
She still lived with her family. who
were wealthy-more so than when |
had parted from her-in p stately man
sion. 1t was evening when l called.
and 1 was ushered into a private par
lor. In a few minutes a bony, satiow,
scrawny woman came into the room.
dressed in the height of fashion. be-
decked with jewels. her hands covered
with rings l barely recognized Gwen
dolin inc would not havs done 81 had
b not preserved the rosebud in her
cheek by a touch of paint.
so your poor mother has gone" she
said. What a silly thing to keep your
letter from me! Jus as If j were
counting on you. You were lovely as q