Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-11-25
REGULAR NUISANCE

al the top of that long and lengthening
list Of the too-preyious ones the fellow
who Is bound to beat you to It with the
news OF the Say Is about the hardest to
tolerate. obserysd the man with the pes
tered look
There's one of EN- at our boarding
house.
Nope, I won't go SO far as to say that
an Of the rest of us who have TO sit at
the same table with him ncurish the secret
and furtive iepe that he'll sooner or later
be hit on the wish bone by seeing-Wash-
ineton wagon A little attack OF laryn-
gifts. or tonsilitis, or any old kind OF bron-
chial trouble that fud force him to stow
his vocal organs for few months 'ud
help some and give us respite that we're
badly In need of.
1.-THE rest of us at that boarding house
don't give ourselves any sort of q chance
to take peek at the morning paper be-
fore breakfast. We just recline In the
warm, comfortable hay until the very last
possible moment-generally till about nj
teen minutes after the first call for break
fast bell has tinkled at the foot OF the
boarding house stairs.
Then we hop out of bed, murmuring
grouchily at our hard fate that compels
our clothes, and just make the boarding
house breakfast table in time to bolt what
Is set before US and then nail the last pos
sfble car that'll get US to the office on
time.
But the beat you to It chap has a
different system.
He subscribes for the morning paper,
and It Is left at the front door OF the
boarding house for him at about half-past
six in the morning. He wakes up prompt
ly every morning at Z, and then he puts
ON dressing gown over his night robe
and sinks down the front stairs and grabs
he returns to bed after having pulled up
the shades, and lets the news of the world
dream into his system from then on till
it's time for him to get up. He has about
an hour and a quarter wherein to allow
the news to percolate through and sat
urate his frame.
$50 that, when he reaches the breakfast
table, he's just loaded for cinnamon bear.
He's got it all pat, and he knows that
we don't know anything about 1T, for
we haven't yet had peek even at the
headlines.
He begins to unreel 1t the minute he
takes his seat at the breakfast table.
'This's "a pretty good thing he says,
gazing leerlngIy around the table. Den
fist chap in New York that that Prince
Whats-his- name had fill four of his teeth
charged the prince a cool thousand for the
job-guess that's goin' some, hey?
You'll observe that the way he ex-
pressed that item of news wasn't very
clear. Not much sense to be made ont
of 1t. But none of the men at the table,
all of whom are going to read the morning
paper themselves later on ask him to mar
rate the story bit more clearly But
the women at the table, who haven't got
the slightest intention of reading the MORN
ing paper Immediately chirk up and ask
Then he goes ahead and elucidates the
yarn, reading copious extracts from the
news account, while he shoots little VIC
torious CLEANS at the rest OF us out Of
the corners of his eyes, as much as to
say. You dubs aren't within 400 years Of
being up to date-look at me-
"The recital Of that prince-and-t he-den-
fist story of course takes away all OF the
fresh interest in that news narrative that
We might otherwise have IL we were al
lowed to gather the details at first hand
from the newspaper ourselves.
when that item Is sufficiently chewed
up and clawed around, the beat you to
it. duck takes up fresh theme from the
morning news
. 'Humph.' he says, old man Plat came
out pretty strong with those campaign
contribution answers at the insurance in
vestigation yesterday. Should think these
revelations 'ud knock the stufin' out of
the republican party in New York
The two republicans at the table, al
though they don't want to be drawn into
any argument, and are in hurry to get
through with the breakfast, SOS they can
have a little whack at the morning paper
themselves on their way to the Office
prick up their ears at this. They don't
feel like letting any waHops at Senator
Plat get by without putting up some kind
OF defense.
This gives the beat you to it. fellow a
chance to dilate and expand upon the In
surance investigation story In the morning
paper, and he reads long passages from
the testimony, ha-ha-ing and he-he-ing over
those portions that particularly agree with
the stand he has adopted on the insurance
matter since the beginning of the trouble
and It's needless to say that he's an ar
dent Tom Lawsonite. BY the time he
gets through rehashing what he has found
in the morning taper about the insurance
investigation all of the meat and good
gravy has been taken out OF that news
feature OF the paper for the rest of U.S.
AFTER the chaw about the insurance
thing has sort O. sfmmered down, and
were beginning to hope that Wen be able
still little bit of interest left In the
morning paper that we're intending to
read, the get-there-first nuisance turns over
to the sporting page-although he doesn't
already we'll salted away in what he
pleases to call his mind-and takes up a
tack that we're keenly interested In, but
that we particularly like to read all about
ourselves at first hand.
'Um. he says, guess old Father Bill
Daily didn't land good one at Benning
yesterday, hey? He got Listless home at
Is to 1--she just tow-roped 'em all the
way
Now, men who are interested in racing
but who can't get to the track themselves
on account of business are fond of finding
out, as 1 say, the winners themselves. at
first hand. ], for instance, like to turn
the morning paper over to the sporting
page and look at the chart of the previous
days races systematically, and say to my
self, of course, IF I was there I'd sure
have played this and that winner and so
on.
but there is no chance in the world to
do this with the get-there-drst chan
around. AS soon as he gets through telling
the newspapers account of the Iistless
coup, some bonehead at the table foolishly
asks him if any other long shots won at
Benning yesterday.
This Is just pie for the beat you to
It mug He runs his eye down the chart
calling off the names of the winners. and
their prices, as he goes along.
LET'S see,' he says, Freebooter wins at
21a TO 1-favorite-but 15-to-1 shot Sheen
runs second in that. Edict, the fayorite at
to 5, gets the next. UNI, Delphie gets
the next at to !, with a 10-to-1 shot
Sunray, second. Then comes Ldstless. the
15-to-1 shot that old Pa DAILY got over
The odds-on fayorite, Thstledale wins the
next, and-well, Evie Green, that wins the
last, was right good shot-her price was
to l.
''And that settles all interest we have