davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1905-12-28
Cut IL Out.

The late Senator Hoar was informed
that very dear friend was seriously
i'll with appendicitis.
He had hardly finished his note of
sympathy when he was informed that
it was an attack of acute indigestion
instead, and SO he sent the following:
Dear Al am sorry to hear that you
are i'll. hut rejoiced to learn that the
trouble is with the table Of contents
rather than with the appendix"
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1905-12-28
CLEVER WOMAN DETECTIVE.
MISS ADELAIDE C. RUSSELL
AMONG MOST SUCCESSFUL
OF MODERN SLEUTHS,

Assumes Many Peculiar Disguises
and Visits Little known Sections
Is asented Ma stefan and Accom-
plished Linguist.
Equipped with a personality as
charming as it is distinctive Miss AIDE
laide {. Russell has joined the army
OF women workers. but in such a UNIQUE
way that her accomplishments cannot
fail to interest other women through
out the entire country.
Miss Russell is a detective, but the
many disagreeable attributes which are
commonly supposed to go hand in hand
with this profession are wanting In
the case Of this interesting young
woman who follows 1t rather from a
love OF its adventures than for the
results which 1t brings about.
Six years service in connection with
the New York Pinkerton forces and on
private work have given to Miss Rus.
sell q fund Of interesting experiences
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1905-12-28
An ipDcaL

My hand Is lonely for your clasping, dear
My ear Is tired. waiting for your call
want your strength to help. your smile
to cheer;
Heart, soul and senses. need you, one
and all.
droop, without your full. frank sym.
pathy
We ought to be together. you and l.
We want each other so to comprehend
The dream, the hope, thing planned oil
seen or wrought,
Companion. comforter. and guide anC
friend,
As much as love asks love, does though
need thought;
Life Is so short. SO fast the love hour!
fly.
We ought TO be together. YOU and l.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1905-12-28

recalled that vision-the sweet, serious
face. the white uniform, the pretty cap
resting on waves Of brown hair. She
Bmothed his hot brow and gave him
cool water. Then delirium seized him
and for weeks he lowered between life
and death, while Amy Norton. the head
nurse, watched him as though he were
her very own.
In those endless days and nights OF
physical anguish, when he could COM
prehend only two conditions-pain and
the absence of pain-Amy seemed to
him brooding Spirit of Deliverance.
Always there, when he needed her,
divining the cause Of his discomfort
and quick with measures of relief, she
became in the highest sense mother
to this motherless waif.
So the days passed. and gradually
Teddy responded to the care OF nurse
and doctor and awoke to conscious
ness Of things about him. His twisted
arm was almost restored to use; his
crushed leg, though in heavy plaster
cast, was mending rapidly; but he
complained of pain in his chest, where
the engine wheels had broken the
ribs. It hurt him to breathe, he said
Now and then a spell Of coughing
shook his little frame and left him
painting for breath. Then, recovering
he would watch Amy at her work, hi
eyes following her up and fown the
ROOM He was disinclined to eat, and
daily his face became whittier and thin.
ner. and his eyes bigger and blacker.
It was Dr.. Stones custom to NEE
Amy In the operating room severa
times q week for consultation. On
evening they talked Of Teddy. Ih'
doctor shook bis head gravely. HI
was q handsome, young man. will
close-cut, dark beard. In their common
purpose-the rescue Of this dying or
phan child-their hearts beat together
Can you not stimulate him some
how" be asked. HE IL very low. AM
little complications fever, even
cold-might end 1t all. He 10 too pas
sive. He does not care. He seems t;
be merely awaiting the end. We can
not get results under such conditions
It Is not now q case for medicine. There
is nothing in all the pharmacopoeii
that ! can think Of to awaken him."
For some minutes they sat In silence
All the mother love in Amy's hear
was stirred. Poor little waif-no par
ents. no home, and Christmas close a
hand. A great light dawned within her
Christmas-the day of days for chill
dren all over the world! She turned
her deep. thoughtful eyes upon tn,
doctor. Let me take the case" sh,
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1905-12-28

After a while they put him back to
bed, with his gifts spread around him,
and together left the room. The dawn
was breaking. The busy world was
waking. From without came the toot
ing Of horns. Bells were ringing all
over the great city. 1t was Christmas
morning.
The doctor went with her to her
door. Even In the dim light Of the
hall he could see the drawn lines
about her mouth and eyes, her trem.
ulous lips. "You must go back to
bed" he said anxiously. II will see
that you are not disturbed until noon.
You are tired out"
She did not try to speak, fearing
that she would cry instead.
"You have won q great victory over
DEATH" he said. 1.-THE injuries are
nothing now; he will recover. It is
the desire to live that you have i'm.
planted In him-that Is the triumph"
Then, on sudden impulse, he put his
arms about her. ooh, Amy, Amy" he
said brokenly. "You have saved his
life; will you not save mine, dear?
Will you say yes? cannot live with
out you"
Then he was gone, and on her trem.
bling lips his kiss burned like sweet
hre. Half fainting, her heart going
like trip-hammer, she closed the door
and sank upon the bed. Gradually
peace came to her. and slumber. In
her dreams she heard him caI1fn O /.
Amy, Amy, / cannot live withou,
you" And suddenly she awoke, in the
broad sunlight, smiling, and whisper
ing to herself: Herbert, Herbert
yes, with all my SOUL"
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-01-18
HIS WATERLOO.
How the Officer of tho Day Triumpl,ea
Over Private Murphy.

.
How the Officer of tho Day Triumpl,ea
Over Private Murphy.
In the days when this country had
frontier every army post had to be
in constant state of readiness. for
there was no telling when troops
might be called out to suppress an
Indian uprising or to rid the road
of desperate highwaymen. Disci-
pline, the Brooklyn Eagle says, was
never relaxed, although the manner
In which it was preserved sometimes
savored of comedy.
Captain Troxell of the Seven.
teenth infantry, an Irishman and q
strict disciplinarian, had considera-
BILE trouble with certain members of
his company who, being Hibernians
from different counties, we're dis
posed to quarrel overmuch among
themselves.
Once when Captain Troxcll was
officer of the day the sergeant of the
guard, a strapping Irishman, who
himself disapproved these frequent
fights az being subversive of disci-
pline and disgraceful to the compa-
ny, approached the captain with the
customary salute and said:
"Officer of the day, sir, have the
honor to report that Private Muir
ply, OF your company, prisoner in
the post guardhouse, struck at me
with pickax handle."
Captain Troxell returned the sa-
luSe and merely said, Gall right"
A few minutes later the sergeant
Of the guard presented himself again
and afteS saluting said:
! Officer OF the day, sir, I have The
honDf TO report that Private hur.
ply. Q prisoner IN the post guard.
house, struck at me again with q
pSnkax handle"
Once more the captain returned
the salube and said, "All right"
The sergeant of the guard stood
aS attention a moment, then defer.
entially said:
"But, sir, officer of the day, is il
all right for prisoner in the post
guardhouse to strike ct !h:s scr I1geai,i
OF the guard with a pickax handle p
| ut is," answered the captain, "i1
the sergeant of the guard is foo
enough to let him"
| Ten minutes later the sergeant re.
turned and saluted.
"Officer of the day, sir" he SAID
in his gravest voice, "I have the hon.
or to report that Private Murphy o1
your company prisoner in the post
guardhouse, desires to GO to the hes.
pital on sick report, sir"
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-01-18
An Abrupt Translation.

The small boy had been irritating
his father with many vexatious ques-
tions. about psalm he was studying
for Sunday school next day.
Father, whas does selah mean?"
was the latest.
"Shut upp said paterfamilias.
The boy said nothing, hut in Sun
day school the psalm was under dis
cussion..
sWho knowe what tha word se!sahh
means e asked the young superin-
tendent.
The small boy'e hands went up,
and he was halfway out Of his seat
No one else raised o hand
"Well% p said the superintendent.
"Shut upp said the small boy.
And seeing the look on the teachers
face added: "It is. I asked papa
and he said shut upp"
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-01-18
Hypnotsm and Matrimony.

Why not use hypnotism as an aid
to matrimony? This brilliant idea
occurred to lady who listened to q
lecture on hypnotism by an eminent
physician. Volunteers from the au-
dience went upon the platform and
We're thrown into harmless frances.
So the lady wrote to the physician
next day stating that she desired to
consult him, and he awaited her
coming, thinking she was patient.
ooh, no." she said. eI am quite
well, but I am very much in love
with q man who will not ask me to
marry him. Now, I want to invite
him and you to lunch, 80 that you
can hypnotize him and make him
propoael" The doctor exploded in
Inirth, then enggested that she
should trust TO her own hypnotic
attEac&ions. But she. went away OBJ
eeEEing that hypnotists are most un-
pea6tical. London Chnonicle.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-01-18
Success Proionas Life,

1t is now well known that in
creased complexity Of life with in
creased expenditure distinctly aids
longevity. Luxury, athe fertile par
ent Of whole family of diseases,' y
modifes it greatly, Of course, bue
this is manageable factor. We
have only to recall personal expert
ence to realize the force Of intel
lectual stimuletion. The inaeress oe
sport will sustain men wishost fa-
tigua for distances they otherwise
could mot traverse. The excitement
oa strife will often mask the pTes-
ence OF wounds. Self eese:.i;Ss,=s5s
IN all the walks Of lifa under Che,
stress Of love, ch Try or accepted
duty doubles human endurance. Sue
cess gives new vitality, new powers,
and this is eness;sssSr 81 name for new
.life.New York World.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-01-18
Pricses Ruling Firm.

Old Joshua Martin was noted for
his ability to. make close bargain,
but once in awhile he met his match.
i say, mister,i' ne began as he
walked into q barber shop one mar
ket day while waiting to dispose of
his load, EARNINGS mighty bad
nowadays. You ought to iemme
have a shave for 5 cents. Why, if !
should tell yon the price I had to
take for my garden sass"--
"Mebbe," returned the barber,
but fact is ought to charge you
double price now by rights, for
farmers faces are just about twice
as long as they used to be. You
ought to be thankful for being let
off on one fare"
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-01-18
GoT THE THIEF.
Rusc by Which 6ackwoods Parson
Did tno Business.

Rusc by Which 6ackwoods Parson
Did eno Business.
1.-The. police have what they call
the sweating process, a means of
forcing confessions and admissions
from stubborn moral dere...lts," said
an old timer, "and some of these
methods are ingenious, some of
them cruel, while others are posi-
tiYeiy barbarous and have been
frowned upon by the courts, as is
evidenced in the doctrine which de-
clares that forced confessions are Of
little or no value as evidence. say
this by way of prelude to a little
story of lorg tnne ago which will
show that there are more ways than
cne of forcing man to own up to
wrongdoing. As you probably know,
the AK was at one time thn most val-
liable implement around tho place.
1t was i'll the time / ia in mind,
the time when southeastern Arkan-
sas was wilderness and when the
. earlier settlers first .:egan to cast
their lot in that rich and now pros
porous part of the world. The ak
meant much in those days. So when
some fellow pilfcred some other fell
lows ak the question wus Of large
moment for miles around.
GA man thus circumstanced and
Of the time complained that his ak
had been stolen. There happened
to be preacher in the section who
was looked upon as having extraor-
dinary, almost supernatural powers,
and whenever anything of this kind
happened complaint was made to
him. The theft of the ak was re-
ported to the preacher. I'll find it
for you,' he eaid 30 the distressed
man of the woods.
"On certain day when he had
nearly every man within radius Of
i fifty miles around him he lined them
up in row and stepped back about
thirty feet, just far enough to al
low him good eye sweep Of the line.
In few words he related the case
| of the man who had lost the Ak,
dwelt on the Importance CT th tiio uA,
declaring it not only to be tho in
dustrial capital of the man who lost
it, but the chief weapon with which
he defended his home. Now, my
friends, one of you men got that ak,
and I know it, he said. Il have a
rock in my hand,' he continued, and
while I do not care to hurt any liv-
ing human being, I am going to hit
the man who got that az And as
he said this he swu-g long bony
arm over his head With violence and
brought it around with force. Only
one man lodged i'll the line of forty,
and he was the guilty man. In a
short while the AK was returned to
its rightful owner, and the back
woods preacher WIS mere popular
than ever. Which little happening
shows that there are refined and un-
refined methods of sweating men
and making them own up to their
misdeeds." New Orleans Times
Democrat.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-01-18
taie Expense account. o,lrrt

-. - - + y (
A bright Harvard boy brought his
first years expense account nome
with him. in accordance with in
sstsuctions from HIS father. His par
lents were very hluch puzzled when
they inspected it to find q large
proportion OF their sons expensea
charged up in one iiten, ,ttteS n GGs.s' Gs.E /
Ae the first glance they were IN
clined 10 think ssS. P. g might be
the initials Of some fair maiden, and
q storm began to brew FOR fl.a M m /
conscious freshman. But at the end
OF the expense list they found a foot
note which quite cleared tho mys--
terry and the atmo osphers. It read:
IS IS = g sundries. principally,
grub. = ~ 4. q. 8,
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-01-18
Blue Ridge Railroad.
Effective Nov. 20. 1af
:WEsTBOUND.

.WESTBOUND.
No. IL (daily)-Leave Belton q. 5O n.
M; Anderson AIS p. No.; rerdleton a.
p. m.; Cherry 4 81 p. M; Seneca sal d.
m arrive Walhalls 5.55 p. m.
No. 8 (da!ly except Sund+y)-Lsaya
Belton lO.4s q. m.; Anderson il.O7 q. m. /:
Pendleton 1872 M; Cherry II .39 q. m. !:
arrive at Seneca 1l.57 a m. " :
No. Sunday only)-Leave Beltou
l! As Q. M; Anderson li.O7 o. M: Pan
dleton 1882 q. M; cherry l1.39 a. m.
seneca LOS p. M; arrive WaIhalla 1.2.
No. (dailv except sunday)-Lesve
Anderson 1920 .. M; Pendleton 10. Sc a.
M; NJ! UherrX i;oe o: M; Seneca los p. m. !;
No. 3(daiiy)-Leave Bolton 9.i5 n. m {.
arrive Anderson 9.42 p. m.
No. rs Sdaiiy except sunday)-Leavs
beiton 800 q. m.; arrive Andersen 1.5O
q. m.
EAsBoUND.
No: l2 (dailyl-Leave walhalla 8 IS q.
NJ; Seneca S.58 q. m Cherry 9.l7 9. m.
Fendlston 25 8. M; Anderson lO. 90 a.
No.; arrive Bolton 1925 q. m.
No. Is lds!!J except Sunday)-Leaye
Seneca 90 p. m Cherry 2l0 p. m; PEN
arrive Bolton 335 p. m.
no. q tSunday only)-Leave Anderson
3.l0 p. M; arrive Belton 8 33 D. IN,
NOS e(daily)-Leave Wali,alla $40 D.
NJ; Seneca 5.3l p. M; Cherry 50 D.. m:
Fendleton IL p M; Anderson 7.3O D.
No.; arrive Bolton Z So p. M.
NO. "a (daiiy except sundav)-Leave
Anderson $50 q. m.; arrive Bolton $40
o. N. Fl @. BEATTIE, Pres.
Greenville, sc
J. r. ANDERSON, s,upt.,
~ Anderson. g. c..
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-01-18
HER SAFE DEPOSITS.
What Amazed the Young Only Tired
the Elderly Benedict.

What Amazed the Youne Only Tired
the Elderly Benedict.
"Have you ever noticed" began
the bridegroom, "what astonishing
places woman chooses for hiding
things?"
Il ceased noticing and ceased be-
ing astonished at anything years
ago." replied the elderly Benedict
wearily.
.sWell. the other night" night, went ON
the bridegroom, "there was small
fire in the apartment below us.
Somebody upset a lamp, and while
they were putting it out my wife
and I were gathering our yaluables
together and preparing to flee. For
five minutes we rushed about like
mad people. The first thing 1 did
was to open my wife's bureau drawer
and feel for her jewel box.
|Oh, it isn't therel' she called
out. It's in the refrigerator under
the lowest pam !
sWhatP I exclaimed.
"fWell,' she replied. that's the
only place where burglar wouldn't
think of looking for them
"What are you trying to take
down that oil painting for?' I asked
excitedly.
sGrandfather's will is behind it,
tackled to the wall, and can't
bulge it, she answered, with tears
in her voice.
No, don't come to help me- she
went on. Run into the parioF and
ge& the deed 10 the Brooklyn prop
eEty. N's pinned in the top oa the
moe csar4ains. And-and bring me
that hat with the white feather On
u. no. not my best one: the other.
Kys gos my marriage certificate and
the contract foc your book and yoa,r
MGat love letter sewed in the crown.
And, oh, John, do look in chat box
an1eg the hathtub and find the
manuscript Of your play and your
diamond sleeve links. Yea, that's
the one mean-that old cracker
box. Well, Z chose it because it did
not look the least bit suspicious.
Who would ere. think think OF looking
, under the bathtub in an old cracker
box for diamond sleeve buttons
Now come on. We've got every
thing
".No, we haven't replied.
where's that hundred dollar bill 1
gave you to deposit yesterday and
the check from Bradley and al! the
money!
oh, they're all safe,' she replied
nonchalantly, pulling me out Of the
door. NThe hundred dollar bill is in
my stocking and the check is pinned
under by back hair
Now, what do you think of
that?''
"The patent to those hiding places
expired ages ago." said the elderly
BENEDICT, yawning. - New York
fC6SS. - ts+E1 ,.estst ~
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-01-18
As tsio Norii, Pole.

At the north. pole there is only
one direction south. One could go
south in as many ways as there are
points on the compass card, but ev-
cry one Of these ways is south east
and west have vanished. The hour
Of day at the pole is o sparado doxical
conception, for that point is the
;meeting place of every meridian, and
the time of all hclds good, SO that
1t ID any hour one cares. to mention.
sUnpunct ctdality lis hence impossible,
but the nestioll grows complex and
Its practical ssolu ti0n concerns f fer :.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-01-18
2 q @ Ng e Ga " 6
the rnooe healing caive In the werid.
i.ts o.
Assessment Notice.
AUDITORS OFFICE, Apderaon. 3. q

AUDITORS OFFICE, Anderson. 8. g.
This ONCE Will be oEen 70 receive Returns df
Flscai Year. from the ant day Of January, 1875. 1885,
asal Estate S,snda ns before. but al transfer Of
no.ed upon the return blank uh on listing
lhe Township Assessors are required 6y law to
turps within tho time prescribed Hence the
difficulty OF deitnquents escaping the 80 per cent
psnay as wen as the Of oIsora
your OWN 'eturns and thereby cave expense and
Ex.Coasedesate Soldiers over so years of oqe nre
exempt from Poll Tax. All other males between
t9e age' o. 81 and 60 re- except those incapable
Sl pS
FOR tne convenience Of Taxpayers we " Ill also
have Deputies to tako Returns at the following
Mofsttsville. "Wednesday, January IL.
Iva, Thursaay. January IL.
Moseley, Friday, January 1S.
Starr, Monday, January Is.
eGasS fSfn M sdlnaasiy 4, January
SGaytop. Monday, January IS.
Five Forks. Monday. January 2e.
Wyatt = % s.ege, &sdnesdayy., dly ~ .nusry is.
Ctdas Wreaths Friday, January 20-a.m m.
Wigjpgton;s stors. Tsuf day; Janusiy 10:
Equality. Tuesday, Januaryl7.
and al, to j. T. Hun er. ~
Townville. Friday, January ~.
Tugaloo. Saturday, January 2s.
Honea Path, Monday and Tuesday, January 10
and II, or up to February 20th, 10 Deputy.
BsltoD, Friday and Saturday, January i7and 2S.
Piedmont. Monday and Tuesday, January 20
Pelzar, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, JAM
nary Il. y and ls. or up 10 February Goth, to
John Bonner. 80 =
Williamson. Wednesday and Thursday. Jan.
uRry 70 and 20. G. N. c. BOLEMAN,
Auditor.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-01-18
i Poor saehelIorl

There's no use talking, Tn going
get married, !" said a bachelor to
9 married acquaintance the other
day while busily engaged in sewing.
Here I have worked just twenty
minutes by the watch trying to get
thig needle threaded, and then, Just
90 Issucceeded, / pulled the thread
ont Finally I got it threaded, and
now, after sewing on this button fast
and strong, / find Tue got it ON the
wrong side, and I haQe my work all
tod oyer again N I
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-01-18
Definition 4 Of puey.

There was q small boy who went
to Sunday school. When he went
home his mother asked him what the
lesson was about. "Faith," said the
boy. what's that ?" bic mother
asked. "Belieyin' what you've got ev-
cry reason to suppose amt So" the
boy replied. And then" he after
ward remarked, athere was some
talk about duty, too" .sWhat's
dutyp his mother asked him. "Oh,
duty, !, he replied, "is any old thing
that you have got to do when you
want to play baseball. !" Judge.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-01-18
FOEey's Kidney Cure
makes kid1ey,s and bladder rigbs

I - - Atrue, gentleman never, m.-ries
= woman because she has money;
|, he marries her because she has
none! y.
- Tho young man wbo works with
one eye on the oloss is apt to have
plenty Of sime to look for ar other
Job later. Ess:,5 I; s Y. S,S
One; len necessatily wealthy be-
scanss he has more mon,y y than braips.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-01-18
An EXPLOSION,

When the Afro-American bank
failed an angry depositor met the
president and demanded his money.
where my money? I want my
money. I dom kee1' fur de bank. I
des want my money"
"How I know where yo' money ?"
said the president contemptuously? /?
You amt posted. Wat yo' know
bout business? When de bank fail
hit des explode, and dey ain't no
money" New York Tribune.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-01-18
A Careful Man.

"Haye you noticed" asked the
man who keeps his eyes open, "that
sidewalks are always laid 80 that
there is slight slant toward the
curbstone? If you have not thought
Of it there is a thinking man in
Brooklyn that has, and to save shoe
leather he walks on different sides
Ioc the street on alternate days TO
make sure that his shoes will be
worn of even, New York Press.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1905-01-18
a Champlon,

Miss Hoamley-Didn't you hear
Miss Knox tell me yesterday that I
was the "homeliest girl in our set ?"
Miss Goodley - Yes, the hateful
thingl ! gnye her piece of my
mind about Is afterward.
Miss Hoamiey Oh, did you?
l hope you weren't toe hard On her.
Miss Goodley-Well, I told her
sha ought to consider how sensitive
you must be about it.-Philadel-
phia Ledger.