The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1905-06-24
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30 remarkable. She's got @ lantern
jaW.-Philadelph1a Ledger. .
! First Society Woman-That's nv
baby that we just passed. Second So
ctety Woman-How could you tell?
First Society Woman-I recognized
the nurse.-Brooklyn Eagle. ~.
Teacher-How many command
ments are there Tommy-Not any.
Teacher-Why, Tommy! There are
ten. Tommy-Aw, dem was all broke
long ago.-Cleveland Leader.
"SmOothleigh is certainly the polit-
est man I know. what makes you 90
positive" Hes pretending he's cured
OF his dyspepsia so as not to hurt his
doctors feelings. Town Topics.
well, Doctors Brown and Smith are
going to operate upon old Gotrox." us
the operation necessary" "Why, yes;
Brown has note coming due, and
Smith wants an automobile. PUCK.
Harold" began his wife in a furi-
GUS temper, my mind is made up"
Mercy" interrupted her husband; sis
that SO? l had hoped that your mind,
at least, was your ownW-Detroit Free
Press.
Friend-You must enjoy. your new
position. So much honor, dignity and
prestige! University President-Yes;
but l won't get SO much money as tho
head coach of the football team
Somerville Journal.
Can you support my daughter in
the style to which she has been accus-
tomedT perhaps not. But I can
support her in the style to which her
mother was accustomed during her
early married nfe."-Life.
Jaspar-I think l have reason to
believe that last poem Of mine Is a
classic. Jumpuppe-Why so? Jasper
Il find that all my friends have either
seen it or heard Of 1t, but none Of
them has read it.--Exchange.
The Preacher-I was surprised tc
see your husband get up and walk out
Of church while was preaching. The
Wife-Oh, don't think anything Of
that! You know he's troubled with
sm!-Yonkers Statesman.
II see, Josiah, that somebody has
found out that college life decreases
the desire Of girls to marry" I'll bet
the trouble Is, Nancy, that it decreases
the desire Of the young fellows to
marry 'em."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Are you going to entertain this
wintSrT WELL" answered Mr.. Cum
rox, mother and the girls will have a
lot of people at the house, as usual
But I never can tell whether they are
being entertained or bored. Elk
change.
Modern Mother-Why, child alive,
what are you taking off that dolly's
clothes for? Modern Child-l'm going
to FAMINE her to see If she's been
vaccinated. l can't have 'er spreadin'
'tagion among my other dollies.--Bal'
timore American.
Judge-You are charged with beat
ing your wife every morning before
breakfast. What have you to soy for
yourself? Prlsoner-Well, you see
Judge, that's my best time, as l have
to run for a car as soon as breakfast
Is over."-Exchange.
az half believe that there's a skele.
ton in the Kissmore's closet" u
shouldn't wonder One day when
Kissmore took me home with him un
expectedly to dinner, 1 thought / heard
II throwing things at him out In the
kitchen, "-Exchange
Sources Daughter Ito gardener
wife, who suffers from chronic rheu
matisml-Have you ever tried SWed
,sh massage, Mrs. Brown? Mrs. Brown
i have heard say 1t be very good
for the rheumatics, miss; but we dom
grow It in these parts.-Punch.
Customer-How is 1t that the priet
of a peck Of potatoes remains twenty
cents 80 far in the season? I'd thlnA
the price would become larger as thu
season advanced. Grocer-lt would
madam, only it's so much easier tt
/ change the Size VI tA0 p
more American.
Examining Physician (for insurance
company)-1'm afraid we can't TAX
rou. sir. You are too great a FISK
Applicant (resiguedly)-Well, perhap
7 am. The fact Is, that when l ge
sick I never send for doctor. JUS
low Ground until l get well. Examin
ing Physician-Eh? Um-we1 tax
you,-New York Weekly.
Mrs. Hawktns-And ave you mad
ali the arrangements for your mar
rage, my dear2 Mrs. Jorkins-Well
not quite all. I've got to buy HI
trooso, and take a 'ouse, and get I'LL
'usband q Job, and buy i'm goo'
suit O. clothes, and get some egla
Aa.y ,-arfx RI 10 An then I'm Il