davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22
MEN WHO SWEAR.
Statistician Estimates That They Num-
 Der Exactly 21,o53,179.

From the Washington Post
 ''Just look at thsr' exclaimed the man who has a weakness for statistics, push ing to one side a big volume of census reports, a bulletin from the bureau of education and a pile of copies Of re- ligious publication. "In this country are 21. O5317s male persons who swear
 How did you figure that out?" asked the patient listener.
 Its easy enough" replied the man or many figures. All you need is to be able to read, add, subtract, divide and multi ply.
 According to a table in this volume, the male population of the United States in 1900 was 39,059,2 PAP. From the same source I learn that there are A,32s,Sls men of voting age. At least four-sev- enths of these I believe from careful op- servation are addicted to the use or pro fane language upon occasion. Tn other words, 12, 2,1sS,46S men of 2l or older swear at least occasionally.
 "Deducting the number of males of voting age from the total male popula- ton and we have left 17,799, 423 boys. very nearly 50 per cent of the office boys-the whole number conservatively estimated at 8. S64, 711-cuss Add this figure to that representing the men who are profane aIQ we nave tne STduQ lulai AtSeS0 fA& i the beginning.
 ''I didn't gather these figures in any haphazard fashion," he continued. "l travel extensively and observe closely. In the last two years particularly l nave made a special study of men who swear, their environments their habits Of life, their general character.
 'I meet them on railway trains, In street cars, in hotel corridors, at lodge meetings, at public dinners In the main, the men I have heard swear may be re- garded as representative American cit1s zens, who have fair amount of educa- tion. who provide well for their families, who dress neatly.
 "Only tonight as ate my dinner I overheard a rather fashionably attired man who sat near me say to the waiter as he gave his order: Rush that now. I m in hell of a hurry That was easy.
 Only few hours before I had heard the boss of a street gang cuss his men, and one of the men cussed back as artis- tically if little brokenly. That proved to me that swearing Is cosmopolitan habit.
 Every truckman swears. The train newsboy swears, no matter whether he is dilating on the alleged fine points of his | oranges or in administering a deserved call down to the cheap guy who reads The James Boys in Missouri half lHrOuBn ana tneH returliS IL uuDou6Hts '"rhe average drummer has taken the thirty-third degree when 1t comes to the artistic use of the word damn.
 "And did you ever notice how quickly foreigners who come to this country mas ter our vocabulary of cuss words? They ;, learn any profane expressions before they 1 master any others. I know Swede who 1 speaks just four words in our language. l They are yes mo-, he'll and damn. 1 "It's deplorable" ventured his listener. 1 ''And the women-how about them?" God bless 'em, I hoped you wouldn't ' bring them into this game,' came the l reply.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

prominently mentioned candidate for sec- retary of state is at the Metropolitan.
 Alan D. Jemison. a young insurance man, has returned from a business trip through the eastern part of the state.
 T. J. Harrison of Montgomery is at the Morris.
 s. G. King of New York is at the Hill man.
 R. R. Steel of Chicago is at the Birming- ham.
 G. G. Britton of Anniston Is at the St. Nicholas.
 R. E. Barry of Atlanta is at the Nor ris.
 F. T. Jones of Montgomery is at the Morris.
 O. J. Stafford of Chicago Is at the Hill- man.
 E. NJ seay of Columbus, Miss, is at the Birmingham.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22
SHE MADE $1oo A DAY.
, tha pittshurr Disnatch.

From the Pittsburg Dispatch.
 Senator Platt. in humorous speech, was praising woman at dinner party.
 And her business ability!" he ex- claimed. ''Only the other day the young wife of young friend of mine said excit- edly to her husband on his return home:
 "'John, I have made more money than you today.
 "How much have you nader he asked. "A hundred dollars. she said proudly.
 "'Good. good" cried the young man. And how did you make it?'
 "'Well,' said the young lady, you know my old piano that you only paid $500 for? I sold 1t today for $4O0.'
 Gracious, and what are you going to do with the money?' he asked.
 oh. there isn't any money she said. "'Eh?
 "'You see, sold the piano to dealer. she explained. He gives me new one for $500, and allows s40o for the old one. Haven't done we'll? If you'd stay at home and let me run your business for you you'd grow rich. Think, $oo a dayI That is over s3o,00o a year"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22
PROMPT ACTION

Monday blessing In disguise for the Birmingham
 The suggestions of The Asead observation and n of the committees of the board aldermen The fire improved and increased In size and efficiency
 s In column Let well quickly moment of delay property to necessities existing conditions and adermanic ms resolutions Now resolutions Don't walt to money. forthcoming. material order the and let department Birmingham trained and organized with situation that might
 aldermanc capable Let spirit be 1t false otherwise interfere with pendure growth will Officials and citizens onetrack town It Is already growth for fourtrack
 Birmingham and the their full
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22
BRIDAL LORE.

From the Chicago News.
 A January bride will be a prudent housekeeper and very good tempered.
 A February bride will be a humane and affectionate wife and tender mother. A March bride will be frivolous chat terbox, somewhat given to quarreling.
 An April bride will be inconstant. not very intelligent but fairly good looking. A May bride will be handsome, amaible and likely to be happy.
 A June bride will be impetuous and generous.
 A July bride will be handsome and smart but trifle quick-tempered.
 An August bride will be amiable and practical.
 A September bride will be discreet. affable and much liked
 An October bride will be pretty, CO., quettish, loving, but jealous.
 A November bride will be liberal, kind, but of a wild disposition.
 A December bride will be well pro- portioned. fond of novelty entertaining, but extrayagant.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22
rom the Chicago Record-Herald.

From the Chicago Record-Herald.
 @ HE propriety of storytelling in
 W the pulpit was discussed infor-
 Tl mally by Chicago ministers at the Rock River conference of the Meth odist Episcopal church of Newport.
 Great preachers stand on both sides of the question. Sturgeon seldom used an anecdote. Talmage's sermon were almost continuous string of them. Friends of the pulpit story claimed that 1t vivifies ideas, puts abstract principles Into con crete form, and creates a sociability be- tween the pastor and the people otherwise hard to attain.
 Opponents decried 1t as "catchy," form of theological theatrics which ap-
 peals to peoples fancies rather than to
 their intellects, a species of sensational
 ism. But the crowning feature of the
 evil, they said, is found in the prosperity of concern which for small sum 8
 year undertakes regularly to supply
 preachers with anecdotes. The supplies are sent out once a month, the anecdotes
 to be checked off as used. so that a pastor
 each time that he appears in the pulpit
 can face his congregation with confidence
 that 1t is going to be entertained.
 Here are a few of the anecdotes picked
 at random. it being expected that the
 preacher would supply the spiritual ap-
 plication for them:
 ''The ropes in the English army. from the greatest to the smallest, are so twist ed that scarlet thread runs through | and uyf, "a extricated without undoing the whole.
 and by which the smallest pieces can
 be recognized as belonging to the crown So the smallest acts of Christian life prove his allegiance, to whom he be- longs."
 "Descartes had for his first love a young lady who squinted and never after could he admire any one who saw
 straight. His imagination associated all her charms with that peculiar obliquity of vision."
 To some anecdotes are added scriptural suggestions. To the following Is recom-
 mended James 1. 12, and Matthew K, sS: "When Garibaldi wished the Italians to
 enlist in his army the men asked: What
 will you give us?' T will give you, an-
 swered Garibaldi. I will give you long
 marches. fatigue. hunger, cold. wounds
 and some of you death; and then in the
 end free Italy And the men said, We will go.' '
 Revelations iii. 3. and Mark xiii. +, are recommended for reference in connection with this "anecdote:''
 "The chief of police of Camden, N. J.,
 issued instructions recently to the police Ito keep a close watch on passing far mers and awaken all found asleep. In- | vestigation reveals the fact that nearly every accident to farmers recently in be- ing struck by trains and trolley cars has been caused by drivers going to sleep on their way to market
 "The question of illustrations Gas preachers call stories), in sermons, is more vital than laymen realize said Rev. D. D. Vaughan "A story may make or mar a sermon. A wise clergyman will be careful and judicious In the use of them. Rather none than a mere attempt through them to be merely entertaining Some preachers temperaments make story telling natural to them" l Here Is a comparison" said Rev. John N. Dingle. '"To illustrate a point: logical
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22
SIZING HIM UP.
'hiladeIphia Press.

''I believe can truthfully say,' re- marked the self-complacent man. that l have only one fault and that's a small one."
 "Yes?" replied the candid man. That's just like the hole in nickle. It may be small hole. but 1t makes the nickle no good"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.

From the New York Press.
 Most of the men that girls say they have rejected never asked 'em.
 The incest compliment to woman is to tell her there isn't one that fits her.
 It is a great comfort to have your wife always trying to make you comfortable.
 After man has doctored up the bright things his smart boy says they are al- most bright
 There is hardly any joke as flat as the one you were going to tell the man if he hadn't told 1t on you first
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22
THE DARK HORSE.
the Mobile Register.

From the Mobile Register.
 That third candidate for governor Is be- ing groomed outside the grounds. We ex- pect to see him prancing into the arena very shortly. He will do well to come in here before the other racers get too much of a start. There is danger that the dis tance flag will be dropped on him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22
IMPRESSED HIM.

From the Detroit Free Press.
 "Blank has just been showing me his new auto. Fine machine, isn't it?'
 .Yes. What do you think Is it's strong est feature?"
 s'The odorv'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

has brought corns on their ears. Pedal corns are bad enough; aural corns are corns no lady would wear.
 Jack London has married again-the day after obtaining a divorce from his first wife. His love affairs are conducted in a way that resembles his literary op- erations
 While MT. Londons matrimonial ven- lures are under consideration, one is re- minded that Richard Hd'ng D'vis Is not conspicuous now. Heark:
 PLEASE WRITE. In these dull times of piping peace
 When there's no war abrewing We hope it's not amiss to ask
 What R. H. D. is doing.
 It is rumored that James H. Hyde will be offered theatrical engagement. MT. Hyde is at present booked with the Hughes all-star aggregation of insurance comedians. Until that contract expires 1t is hard to see how he can go on the road, though he would make lovely villain in ''mellerdrammer."
 "Sandiest freshman in years" is liar AsoCS~fCANs what may. there is no freshman in the land who feels better.
 EVERY LITTLE BIT HELPS. There're lots of troubles in the world Of many we have heard, But, golly we are glad to say
 We are not a. turkey bird.
 Two actresses of the "Isle of Bona Bong company left the show because some of their women associates drank and smoked. Shades of the ballet! Did they expect the girlies to sing and dance all the time?
 The news that there are to be fewer pockets in mems trousers has been re- ceived in domestic circles.
 MEAN THINGS. There was a girl in our town
 Whose carriage was not bad; Some jealous maidens said twas all
 The carriage that she had.
 It is said that Andrew Carnegie receives an average of twelve requests a day for libraries and organs. Yet some people get sarcastic because the iron master scat ters few of them over the country
 After wordy battle, the steam filters announce that they will be Independent of the plumbers. It is hard to see how any body can be Independent of the plumbers when grim winter is so near at hand.
 A chair for chauffeurs will be estab- Ishd at Perdue university. We still maintain that a cell would be better. 
 THE POOR CHAPTERS. A lot of hot reformers say
 That virtues had slump. Most every fellow that you meet
 Is sure to be chump, Yet every chap who's taking coin
 That don't belong to him Is merely a philanthropist
 Whose purse is rather slim.
 A St. Louis man who kissed his fiancee and the members of her family, ad libi- tum, is now suing for $25,0O0 damages, all leging breech of promise. A willing worker seldom gets his dues. PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

The New York World is trying to make the three Ms go-McCurdy, Mur- phy. McCall-but thus far not one of them has budged an inch.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

James Hagen Hyde, once proposed for ambassador of France, wears 8 pleated muslin shirt and an insurance conscience. This is not, however. all he wears.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

The force of gravitation is the sworn and steadfast enemy of airships, and it will not budge an inch.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

Public sentiment and Congress must now determine the nature of the Pan. anna canal.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

Secretary Shaw declines to lift those out who voluntarily fall into holes in Wall street.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

Governor LaFolette has not yet said he will accept that senatorship, al- though it is nearly time to go to Wash ington.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

President Palma of Cuba begins to have a fellow-feeling for his brother ruler In Russia.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

The bookmaker at the races Is the deepest mathematician of the times. An actuary Is not in it when 1t comes to figuring on chances.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

Even pompadours of an exaggerated sort have not rendered Boni Castellane and Jimmie Hyde popular.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

Pa McCurdy hopes to hold his job by relating half of his salary. Jobs are not kept in that manner.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

The commission stood eight to five, and three of the eight were Americans who must help foot the bill.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

The gray wolves are destined to ex- perience hard winter, no matter what the goosebone says.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

The President can not eliminate brutality from football by an argu- ment on paper. It must be educated by degrees out of the players.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22
GEMS so.

From the Headland Post
 An Iowa woman wants divorce from her husband because he has nat taken bath for twenty-two years Most people will think she would have been justified in applying year or so earlier.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

Russia is now governing the grand dukes and the little Czar. The process has simply been reversed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

While Prince Louis was dancing in New York society, his sailors were de- serting by the score.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22
STORIES FOR THE PULPIT
 ARE MADE IN "FACTORY"

argument, thirty minutes; good story. half a minute"
 Let us have a few stories In the pull pit" said Rev. William D. Tilroe, but let them be good ones"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

The cabinet is to stand unchanged until the stress of the present Con gress Is met and handled.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

Senator Mitchell took his medicine gracefully and the insurance magnates should initiate his example.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

There are 10000 hoboes in France, not counting lot of other people who do not work.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

Senator Depew's memory grows shorter every day the insurance in- vestigation committee sits.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

Ringing in Norway pays as well al most as the life insurance business in this country.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

Chicago holds 1S,O0O deserted wives and probably few thousand deserted husbands.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

The passenger who leaves the door of a street car open Is degree worse than the end.seat hog.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

Senator Depew hopes the Senate will indulge freely in secret sessions this winter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

Col. John Jacob Astor will serve as Q juror. He will be paid $2.25 per day.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

Tammany is not ideal. but 1t has never been engaged in footing policy holders.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

The 1S,00O-ton Dreadnought has rem dered the other battleships back num- berS
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

The weather clerk will today try to overcome the Indian summer habit.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

A grand duke in Russia draws a mil lion year, thus outclassing even Pa McCurdy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22
O'NeaI on Politics.

Emmett ONeil of Florence. a promi- nent attorney of North Alabama, and former member of the legislature and the constitutional convention, was in Birming- ham last night en route home from Mont gomery. MT. O'Neil has frequently been mentioned as candidate for governor. but stated last night that he was not an aspirant for any political office. In chatting with number of his friends last night at the union station. MT. O'Neil talked Interestingly of the political con ditions in Alabama.
 "I heard the joint discussion between Dr. Cunningham and MT. Conner at Shelf | field the other day." said Mr. O'Neal. II | listened to their speeches with much in- terest and from my viewpoint the de- bate was practically whatfwe boys used | to term a dog fall
 | "In reply to Dr. Cunningham's opening argument, MT. Conner made magnificent presentation of his claims for the gov ernorship But in his rejoinder Dr. Cum ningham was very affective and made an 1 eloquent speech
 q take the position" continued MT. | oNeil, that no one man Or no dozen men are responsible for the conditions that have made the present railroad rate reform possible.
 .sWere 1t not for the constitutional con-
 vention. which 1t has been charged was
 controlled by the railroad cabal there would have been no elective railway com mission. This body should not receive the condemnation of the friends of the move ment, but should be commended for the | tta utx xtr,or n passes to the legislators
 ..The candidates for governor are claim ing that the railroad commission bill Is unconstitutional I have not had the time | to study the question: but shall take the first occasion can find to do so. If Con- | gress has the power to delegate the regu- | Ia ton of railroad rates to an interstate l commission, surely 1t seems to me that the legislature of Alabama would
 have the same constitutional right. The same cause has been tried in other states. l and the supreme courts have held that the commissions have the power to fix a maximum rate.
 "As | have said, however. I have not 1 had the time to look into the matter. and | am not informed as to just what is the exact status of the railroad commission
 in this state. It is my intention to look
 into. the matter very carefully. and l will
 probably have something to say on this
 particular point in & few weeks. | About Persons. H. Bigham. assistant general industrial agent of the Seaboard, was in the city yesterday.
 l
 | c. P. Gather, New England agent of the Norfolk and Western railway with
 headquarters in Boston. was in the city
 yesterday.
 w. c. Rinearson, general passenger agent of the Queen and Crescent route.
 was in Birmingham yesterday. e. T. McEldery of Talladega, who Is
 A popular candidate for associate railroad commissioner. is at the Metropolitan.
 A. c. Sexton of Montgomery, chief clerk in the secretary of states office and .
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

Pa McCurdy's rebated salary Is still large enough to keep the wolf away.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

It is now "Skeal, Haakon VII !" but "Banzai!" is still heard at intervals in Tokio.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

A good many are springing into the sea-level bandwagon at present.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

1 HE latest development in the IVY Kenyon college tragedy in which
 young Pierson, a student, is said to have met death on railroad track while waiting for fraternity initiation, Is communication to the coroner who is Investigating the affair, after the style of the Black Hand" society. warning him to "call off his dogs" Recently student who is said to have furnished the author ities with valuable information regarding the case was assaulted and robbed in his room, the work, it is believed of Kenyon college students. Now 1t seems strange that lot of college boys can threaten officers of the law and defy those who are endeavoring to investigate what is at least a mysterious affair. If the Kenyon college students are guilty of murder they should be brought speedily to justice; if not, the facts in the case should be made pub lie.
 It seems that the Lena put in at Hono- lulu because she wanted coal Numbers of people want coal at this season of the all unusual.
 It has been discovered that bull has no respect for an automobile.
 SOME INDICTMENT.
 A bowl of milk bit of bread
 May seem a skimpy fare
 But we could get along on that
 And also without hair
 The fate of J. D. R. may be
 theme for tears and woe
 Ruf if we had hiq hank accouuf
 We wouldn't mind 1t so.
 A playwright has invented "drinko- meter" contrivance which will help men to be good. The most effective antidote for wickedness is sickness. The chap who feels like the proverbial 30 cents seldom listens readily to the suggestions of the devil. He wants a doctor.
 Although his present term does not ex- pire until 1906, Senator Carmack of Ten nessee, has already opened his campaign for reelection. The senator's opponent in the field will be Bob" Taylor and 1t is easy to see why he desires to get an early start.
 WISE GIRL.
 There was comic opera queen
 For fame she did not banker
 She ripped a while across the boards,
 Then caught a wealthy banker.
 The people who wonder why the Pana- ma canal is so far from completion should write a letter to one of the transconti- mental railroads.
 'He has hunted the prongbuck, the mountain sheep. the whitehall deer, the wapiti or round-horned elk, bruin. black brown and grizzly, the cougar and the wolf" remarked the New York Tribune in speaking of President Roosevelt. who has himself been hunted mostly by cranks.
 The youth behind the cigarette Is usually found behind in everything he undertakes. The telephone girls of Pittsburg(h) are seeking employment in other walks of life because constant use of the receiver
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

The contractors prefer a sea.level canal.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

Paul Morton says Americans do not want cheap insurance. Try lem, Paul.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

The insurance investigation never re- minds Senator Depew of a joke.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

Jimmie Hyde knows how to stir Ill a hornets nest at any rate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

William Jennings Bryan's grandson was not named Theodore.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

The Isle of Pines is not, alas, one of the Philippines.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

There is a slump in life insurance salaries.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-22

The negro football game yesterda had decided minstrel features.