The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1905-12-04

PLACES WE'RE SEARCHED.
him and let him retire gracefully to his
country seat. As lender lie had mide
a miserable failure. AS Il po.i,ician he
was as dangerous to his friends as to
his enemies. He was fuSsy, i'll bal
anced. growing deaf, and the desire
was to get rid of him without hurting
his feelings. Perhaps n lord should
know when n movement of that sort
Is on foot and appreciate its worth ano
do the retiring act in graceful man
ner, but having carried the British gov
eminent on his shoulders for the past
fen wears and fearing some great ca
lamity if he laid down his burden. Lord
*. was-no sooner appo!E ted first lord
than he tO.k his place and gave the
second lord to understand that he in
tended to run things.
Confusion and CONSERVATION arose Mt
once. Lord X was no more fitted for
the Dositiou than the humblest work
man in England, but who was going
to bell the cat and tell him so: He WIS
sure to make blunders and mix thinSs
up, and just at that time the govern
ment wanted particularly TO have
things working smoothly. Some one
..higher up was finally found to give
l4OTu IN. u=llllll Unit III Ntls7AA I N-AA'N.N'N-
to NEEDLE with things at headquarters,
and the less he said for publication rs
first lord the better for himself and
the government.
"Egad. but have been appointed
first lord, and first lord 1 will be"
was his reply. i was appointed be
cause 1 appeared to be the only man
in the country who could conduct that
department properly, and L do not In
tend to disappoint my friends or the
government l shall be ut my desk the
same as any clerk.
Here was an unprecedented state of
affairs, and many consultations were
held. Even royalty was appealed to.
II was admitted on all sides that the
irst lord '. Ould have to step out, but
il was also admitted that he was fool
enough to raise row if any more
broad hints were given him.
In this emergency an outsider was
summoned. lie was not only an out
slider so far as Oficialdom was con
cerned, but outside of politics alto
gether, ana not Il hundred people IN
England knew him by sight. lie was
asked to do what the queen had SAID
she saw no way of doing herself lie
waited one week to see if Lord Is.
would not ran out Oh u CuD anu D-S'Ah
his neck, and then he began work.
There being no official room or ofi
cial desk or official messenger or Off
cial anything else for the first lord, he
had taken possession OF the second
lords quarters and was working to
save England and her colonies to pos
terity when n messenger arrived with
an Important document. The messeu'
ger had come from France in all haste
The document was so important that
it was sealed in four places and tied
with the reddest of red tape. and the
second lord, who carried it to the first
lord, looked nwed and handled the big
envelope with reverence. 1t was doe
nment not to be opened until the three
lords should be seated together IN coun-
ell. and it so happened that the third
lord had gone fishing or somewhere
else that day. The first lord would be
the custodian of the package for the
day. 1t was left in his hands. and ~
he sweIled with pride and dignity he
put paperweiGht omit and went our
to lunch.
Five minutes after his return, nm
hot5r and half later all England be
gan to trcmble. In i've more she was
a41 feeling her knees wRh-