Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-03-04
HAD AN AMPLE "ROLL"
CAPITOL DINNER DID NOT BANK
RUPT WESTERN FAMILY.

The restaurants Of the Capitol had trou-
bles Of their own. It Is well known that
prices there are high and dinner for six
would cost a ''fye," that Is, real dinner.
man and his wife and four children.
big registering boys, three of them. and a
red-cheeked girl. sat down at one OF the
tables. MA" undid her cape, united the
strings of her bonnet and took Off the
girls coat. and the three boys took of
their "comforters." stuffed them In their
caps and sat on them. while "pa" shucked
his overcoat and hung 1t over the back
of his chair, where 1t insisted on getting
tangled UP with the walters feet. He
objected to having the overcoat which was
OF the vintage Of 90 hung on the rack
drop 1t son." he ordered the waiter, who
would have taken 1t out Of the way. II
don't allow to have that coat swiped while
I'm in this town. It's gettin' too near
spring to buy a new one for the moths to
nest in all summer" and "son'' dropped It,
with knowing smile.
Now ma, whatchu goin' to have? This
Is your picnic. so sail In
Well. I'm pretty hungy pa. that break
fast we had wasn't of the kind to stay with
you morn two hours, and 1t is six since
we eat. What can we get?"
Me and George is hungry as they grow
EN-, declared one of the boys.
You bet" was the quick response from
George. Il could eat fried mule"
Son." Ma looked sternly up from the
bill OF fare which she was studying
Scuse me ma. but 1 am that hungry"
he mumbled sheepishly
Hunger Is no excuse for bad manners.
NOW what will you have Here's roast
turkey with cranberry sauce, roast beef,
lamb-oh. you can have most any kind Of
meat you like What do you want, Honey"
turning to the girl.
I'll take what you do ma" she replied
shyly, for by this time everybody was
looking at them, they were such a genuine
family party.
Il want good piece of roast beef" de-
clared pa Il want 1t rare done, and
want some good mashed potatoes. Say.
believe we'd all like some oyster soup. This
Is the place to get oysters that are oysters
you know"
Ordered Oysters.
They all chimed in on oysters, and the
waiter began to look a. little Hurried. 1t
didn't look like oyster crowd, but ma
got to work about that time and she made
the slip of paper the waiter gave her look
like memorandum for the market Just
as she was winding it up, she asked the
children what they wanted for dessert"
Il want strawberry ice cream" declared
Honey" Il want a great big hunk of
cocoanut pie" declared George, while the
boys all wanted the same. e
You can't have scocoanut pie declared
ma" decidedly. when I make cocoanut
pie myself I know what it is made of, but
you don't get any baker cocoanut pie while
1 am around. Suggest something else.
Here's apple dumplings, l guess they can't
be far off. have apple dumplings with
whipped cream, or ice cream"
Apple dumpl;ngs went The further
ma got into that bill of fare the bigger
got the eyes of the waiter, who looked at
that overcoat and then at mas" somewhat
Anticipated garb.
Il reckons they ails think dis huh a Is
cent hash house." he declared to another
waiter who was watching the party. was
everybody else. What 1 goin' to do? They
amt got money to pay fer all dis yer grub,
an knows it. If 1 git 1t and they kick
out of my pocket 1t comes. If l kicks and
they is all right I gifts fired"
Just then@"ma" turned the slip over to
him and .'pa" laid down silver dollar.
Now, son. he said, 'if you get a hustle
on you and do this thing up reasonably fast
that's yours, and IL you don't" and he
finished with a smile.
Trust Not Appearances.
The waiter looked at the silver, then at
the bill of particulars the nice old lady had
made out and he nearly tainted. They sho
does think this is hash house. Say, Cap
tain," he said confdentially. "a dollar won't
pay for the oysters on this" tapping the
slip. The old gentleman looked at the
waiter second, flushed a little, and then,
drawing a second silver dollar from his
pocket laid it on top of the other Son."
he said gently, L don't mind little hold
up but this looks like highway robbery. I
don't believe in the system of tips, but I
knowed I'd have to give something or go
hungry and supposed dollar about right.
Now get that dinner in here and do it
quick and pa" began to look stern. The
waiter flew.
His eyes were nearly popping out. He
didn't know what was going to happen,
but he meant to get that dinner on that
table in double quick time, there might
be gun play.
1t was a dinner" sure enough Hun
CRY harvesters would have had a picnic
surrounding 1t, but so did this healthy,
happy family of six. They ate their way
through from soup to dumplings and ice
cream, and when the waiter in fear and
trembling presented bill for 1886 the old
gentleman pulled a wad of bills from his
pants pocket half as big as a coffee
cup, and rolling off an x. laid a silver
dollar on top of 1t, and as they gathered
their wraps, and ma tied her bonnet strings
he said approvingly, 'Son, that was a very
good dinner and excellent service, but If
you'll come out to my ranch in New Mex
any day in the year" And the children
romped off, while pa and ma" walked
after them unconscious that they had Deen
making talk for a whole restaurant full Of
people for an hour.