Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1905-05-04
THE LEGISLATOR.


Man hath his troubl,s no less re-
nowned than woman, though he saith
not so much about them. He hath
friends, whereas woman hath no
friends, but mere acquaintences. These
friends take him off by himself and
saith unto him thus and so, and like
wise tell him he must run for the leg
is lature. And even so they tell him
of how many precincts whore the peo-
ple do clamor that he shall make the
race; and at this he doth say he will
consider. SO they forthwith advise
him TO give q banquet at which he may
make his formal announcement; and
they saith unto him they will do the
rest He strutteth about like a shang-
hal and fancyeth unto himself he is
statesman, and feeletlf the dignity like
unto a choir leader. He ransacketh
! his brain for a suitable speech, and af-
ter repeated trials finding nothing do
ing, he goeth forth unto a newspaper
space writer and planketh down the
shekels and haveth his measure taken,
and next day he calleth and getteth
his speech, and he and the space-writor
talketh long in confidence and finally
taketh something together and dis
perse.
He spendeth much shekels freely and
visiteth divers and sundry places
where men do congregate and is hale
fellow well met. The banquet night
arrives and he is sent for and as he
entereth the festive hall the band
plsyeth "Hail TO the Chief" and he is
it. lie maketh his speech in loud
voice and announceth he is in the
hands of his friends; though when tho
banquet bill ia passed to him next
day he thinketh he is in the hands of
robbers. However his friends know.
eth a snap when they see IT and loseth
no time in formally announcing his
name ms candidate and settoth many |
and various schemes. which he APP
proveth, since the wife of his bosom
has already begun TO suggest that he
is throwing his money away, and he
dosireth much to be elected 40 he may
say unto his said wife, al told you
so" He goeth some remarkable clips
in the campaign and feeleth much like
"A lobster and a horse thief, ana giveth
largely TO many charities and smoketh
up on stateeraft, but is elected withal
aud giveth another banquet to eele'
brate the peoples victory.
He arrivoth at the state capital in
due time, presenteth his credentials
and is assigned to membership on the
miscellaneous committee. He goeth
quite slow on the floor in order that
he may get credit for dignity, but
finally by noting the clock closely, he
maketh motion to adjourn. And IL
is done. He hireth the newpaper
space writer 10 prepare him Il bill. The
said bill sceketh TO forbid the use Of
free passes except by those who can
show themselves worthy to be trusted
not to allow their possession TO inhu-
ence their conduct toward the donor.
Aiming himself with this bill, he goeth
early into the session, and when bills
are called for he introduceth the said
bill. The same is duly referred, aud he
bideth his time until it shall be report
ed Adjournment sine die cometh, and
the said bill sine dieth also, and he re-
turneth unto his constituents and talk
eth much after the manner of parlia'
mentarians and seeketh to pave the
way for his return, since his substance
is now dissipated and he must have a
living, even unto the end Verify, it is
a true tale,