The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-05-02

trial 70 you, -bIf II ISse6TTs 70 -Je JUS
what you needed. Shall you sleep on
the floor tonights Beds are simply a
useless piece OF extravaganza"
You needn't worry about where
shall Sleep" he growled In reply as he
struggled with his overcoat.
"I'll have a tallow candle tonight.
and Wen pop corn and play checkers,
the same as the farmers. think II
you keep the thing up for month I
shall become convert"
"A--a month"; gasped Mr.. Bowser as
he felt the wolf Of hunger gnawing at
his vitals.
-weli, even two weeks. Shan't I
bring you glass OF cold water 10
drink before you got And why don't
you take along q crust Of bread and a
piece OF suet for your lunehr'
Had the cat been around Mr.. Bow
ser would have shed her blood In giee-
ful ferocity. but as she wasn't and as
he was determined that Mrs. Bowser
shouldn't get the best Of him while life
remained DE went bis way without
werd. II so happened that at the gate
he met the policeman who had thrown
him into a snowdrift for a tramp the
day before, and the officer looked him
over and demanded:
'Now, then. have ron been begging
at that housef
I'll live there, I'd have you know"
"Dcn't lie to me, old fakel have my
eye ON you. and II I catch you tripping
you'll go 10 the cooler. Hustle along
with you"
1t was hard blow to Mr.. Bowser's
simplicity" He fumed and ragged for
the next two blocks, and then some-
thing happened that brought about the
beginning OF the end. The keeper Of a
restaurant. who was standing at his
door, beckoned to him and said:
Here, old man, II you'll clean or the
rest Of this snow I'll give you bite Of
breakfast"
You so to Jerichov'' was the prompt
and vigorous answer.
what! What's that!1 Look a-here,
you old Weary Willie, II you give me
any Of your lip I'll stand you on your
headl Who do you think I amr'
"And who do you think amf' hiss
ed Mr.. Bowser as he thrust his chin
forward and prepared for battle.
There would have been scrap but
for small boy who happened to be
passing and recognized Mr.. Bowser.
Say" he called TO the restaurateur.
'+that feller haln't no trampl He DON'T
have to shovel snow to git mealr'
Then who In blazss "a her
He's old Bowser, who lives up on
First place. He's wearin' them dudp
because he's got q new fad"
Mr.. Bowser left the house at $50.
At OILS Mrs. Bowser received tele.
gram reading:
Get messenger and send my busi- |
ness suit of clothes to the Office"
She had hardly dispatched the gar
ments when she received a second
telegram. reading:
'Have fried chicken, corn fritters and |
sweet potatoes for dinner tonight"
Half an hour later came another, |
reading:
-Have oyster soup. Have boiled On.
ions. Have asparagus. Have rice pud.
ding"
Then Mr, Bowser rested for an hour
and sent the following:
-Have dinner half an hour ahead Of
the usual time Have two fried chick
ems. Have ice cream and raisins and
nuts for dessert Spare no expense
whatever"
There was one more telegram. 1t
came at 8 o'clock In the afternoon, and
Il read:
MAY bring home two friends with
me to dinner. Have three fried chick.
ems. Have everything you can think
of. Have a regular banquet, and II the
cook does any kicking raise her wages
Mr.. Bowser appeared half an hour
ahead Of his usual time. he not only
1ad ON the business suit she had sent
,ver to him, but he had bought him.
Ielf d flaming red necktfe and rhine
stone pin and had his shoes shined as
never for year before.
"Well, dear, what Is it?' queried Mrs.
3owser as he entered the hall.
"What Is whatT
'Why have you decided not to pursue
he simple life any further?'
II fail t@ catch your meaning"
you read the Simple Life by the
Rev. Charles Wagner, and you started
,ut to follow 1t. Are you going to drop
tT'
I'VE viii have a little talk after din
ler, woman" he replied as he made for
he dining room, and then Mrs Bowser
new what the end would be.
A banquet had been prepared, and
hough Mr.. Bowser hadn't brought two
riends with him he devoured their
hare. A shipwrecked mariner afoat
or two weeks couldn't have been more
ayenous. When he was at last through
ating and drinking he led the way up