davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01

clothes on and he said It was all Carl
baldi's fault, that just as dad Was get
ting q good grip on the paddle. thu
gondelier heayed a long sigh. and the
onions in his breath paralyzed dad SO
he felI overheard
Then you don't blame your little
bog, do yau2,, says I, and dad looked
ct ne as be was hanging his wet shirt
On chair. Course notf gou were
asleep in the cabin. But say. # / ever
hear that yea did tip that gondola, il
viii go hard with roa,s but Just
locked innocent, and dad went on dry
ing his shirt By a charcoal brazier and
never suspected me. BateI am getting
the worst Of it. for dad and his clothes
smell 50 Eueh like clam bake that It
makes me sick.
Wen, old friend, you ought to close
up your grocery AMI come over hers
ana go to Tesuvfus and Pompeii with
us, where We can dry our clothes by
the volcano. and dig in the city that
was buried il hot ashes 1000 years
ago. They say yol can dig up mum
mics there that are dead ringers for
you, cid na1.
o, come On, and have fun with US.
Yoar friend.
HENSERY
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01
COURT KNEW THE GAME.
And Took Judicial Notes of the Fins
Points as They Were
Narrated.

Senator Clay, OF Georgia, is. looked
upon as one of the best raeonteurs in
the upper house of congress. In negro
dialect stories he is inimitabIe, SAYS
the Louisville Courier-Journal. This
is his latest;
When Judge David Irwin was hold-
ing court IN Marietta, Ga, d negro was
brought before him for smashing the
nose of a companion while the two
We're engaged in a supposedly friendly
game OF cards. There were a dozen
witnesses who testified that there was
no proyocation whatever, but that the
prisoner had suddenly leaned over the
table and smashed the nose of the
man opposite, nearly knocking that
organ out Of place.
The beIligerent was convicted of as
sault and battery and sentenced to six
months Imprisonment. The man had
IN the past borne a good reputation
and Judge Irwin had known him for
years, and besides the Judge was noted
for his e1emency to first offenders. So
he asked the prisoner, when the cass
came before him for review, why he
had acted in such a manner.
You must have had some reason"
he said. Now tell me all about it, inst
between ourselves
Deed / did hab some reason,
iedge, deed ! did, the negro bIurted
cut. 'Jedge, did you cher play seban-
up"
The stern dispenser of justice de-
elined to answer the question.
Whether I play seyen-up or not has
nothing to do with the case, he said.
But 'ded It hab, ledge; it hab heaps
to do VIII it, the negro insisted, for
lessen you can play seben-np you CANT
understan how this yere happened.
You see, jedge, me and that niger
cher dar was glayin' and dole The
kairds and I turn up de nine-spet OBJ
spades, and I nab in my han the jack
and the ten and the deuce. He beg
and I glib i'm one, an den what you
think dat niger ODER dar done? He
lead de ace oh spades an put on my
deuce. Den what you think dat niger
ober dar done? He lead de king OBJ
spades and give him hard look. but
I put on my ten. Den what YOU think
that emery, low-down, sneakin' niger
done, jedge? He lead de queen OBJ
spades. ! put on my Jack, and den I
just lean ober an smash he's nose
clean often he's face
When order was restored the judge
solemnIy revoked the previous SEN
tence, T think that if the defendant
pays one dollar" he said, all the re-
quirements Of justice which the SOW
ereign state of Georgia demands will
be bountifully satisfied
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01
WALL sTREETERs ouTDoNE
Bright Boy Gives Famous Financiar
an Example Of Fine Fig
urine

Thomas ". Lawson, himself an adept
IN unconventional tactics, recently re.
eeived shock at his own specially, states
Success Magazine. He was driving a splr-
tied horse TO light vehicle Having &C.
easlon 70 leave 1t II order to enter an
ONCE building, he called to street
mchin.
sonny, hold my horseg,
1., was the pert reply; what do I
= dollar an hour said Mr. Lawson,
81 that cloek? continued the lad,
pointing to street clock in front Of a
Yes. said the 6naneier, much amused.
Al right. assented the boy, with a
sudden alaerlty IN contrast with has pre-
vious hesitation
Mr. Lawson performed his errand and
emerged AGAIN from the office building
!, How much do I owe your" be asked
Two hundred and seven dollars
ssWhat2
BY the clock, mister
Mr.. Lawson glanced at the cloek-an
advertisement. It contained no works,
but was operated By. currents of air, and
the hands were revolving with the rapid
ity of q pin wheel
Il thought Wall streeters could do
more business on wind than anybody
else, gasped Mr.. Lawson, but this takes
my time.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01
RAILWAY RATE LEGISLATION
Biennial Convention of Conductors
ask Congress Net to Pass Ad-
verse Railroad Laws.

At the biennial convention Of the
Order of Railway Conductors recently
held at Portland, Oregon, resolutions
were unanimously adopted veicing
their sentiments as to the effect Of pro-
posed railway rate legislation on the
100000 railroad employees, whom they
IN part represented. These resolutions
sindorse the attitude of President
Roosevelt in eondemning secret re-
bates and other iIIegaHties, and COM
mend the attitude of the heads Of
American Railways, who, with prac-
teal unanimity, have Joined with
the President On this question. q
They then respectfully point out to
Congress the .inadvisabi1ity CT 1egisIa,
ton vesting in the hands Of a CON-
mission power over railway rates, now
lower by far in the United States than
in any other country" because such
regulation would result in litigation
and confusion and inevitably tend to
an enforced reduction in rates, ire
speetiye of the question Of the ability
Of the railroads to stand the reduction.
especially In view Of the increased cost
OF their supplies and materials" They
further protested against such power
being given to the present Interstate
Commission because the proposed leg
islation is not in harmony with our
idea of American Jurisprudence, mas
much as it contemplates that a single
body shall have the right to inyesti-
gate, indict, try. condemn and then
enforce its decisions at the cost Of the
carriers, pending appeal, which is
manifestly inequitable.'
The conductors base their demand
for only such legislation If any, as
would secure and insure justice and
equity and preserve equal rights to all
parties concerned" on the ground that
the low cost of transportation is the
result Of the efficiency of American
railway management and operation
which have built up the country
through constant improvement and de-
velopment of territory, while at the
same time recognition has been given
to the value Of intelligence among en-
pIoyes IN contrast to foreign methods,
where high freight rates and lowest
wages to employees obtain
In pressing their claim against 1egis-
Iation adverse to their interests, they
point out the fact that 'stta freight
rates of this country average only two
per cent. of the cost Of articles to the
consumer. thus making the freight
rate so Insignificant factor IN the
selling price that numerous standard
articles are sold at the same price in
AL parts of the country. 2
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01
lao Plays He Is an Anarchist IN
1eneFa-In Venice They Give Aims
80 he Bad Boy Upsets a Con
doIa IN the Grand Canal

Eos. eEoRaE ~ pE.6.E

S-r- Il
EeEre1 ct Wisconsin, Formerly Pt1b-
4tst4er Ct Peck Sun Author al s.EeSlrfs
xfso.. Gaa Bo5-. Ete9
seo1'sEigaf, 1856. BY Joseph Rowles3
yENICEs ITALY.-MY DEAR ON
as-l1l-4Al EsEs2ses: Dad couldn't get out of
sesl1zeE4and quick enough after he got
aAaNeo cut the day after We climbed
- s1azaers. We found that almost all
s1ae tourists in Geneva were there be-
saass they did not want 10 70 home
~ say they had not visited Switzerland
50 eney Just jumped from one place TO
s'1oslleF- ne people who stay there
~ 4eEgth Ct time are like the foreign
residents Of Mexico, who are wanted
IT something they have done at
home 1hat is against the law. There
afe more anarchists in Geneva than
~ sl1lhs else, and they look hairy and
WIG eyed, and they plot to kill kings
ana drink beer out Of two auart lars
y nen We found that more attention
was na1d to men suspected Of crime IN
1heiT oWn countries, and men who were
DelleVed to be plotting to assassinate
klnss, dad said it would be 4 good
Joke n q story should get out that he
was suspected of being connected with
syndicate that wanted to assassinafe
some one, SO T told a fellow thatI got
acquainted with that the fussv Old man
mat tried to ride g1azier without
any saddle or stirrup was wanted for
attempting to blow I'D the president
q eIle United States by selling him
paled hay soaked IN a solution of dy-
mantle and nitro-glycerine.
Say, they will believe ANYTHING in
switzerland. Tt=Wasn,t two hours before
Ieng-haired people were inviting dad
20 dinners, and the same night he was
taken to d den where lot 81 anar-
efllsfs were revealing, and dad reveIed
TIL almost morning When he came
back TO the hotel he said his hosts cot
al the money he had with him,
through some game he didn't under
stand, blt7he understood ii was to go
INTO 9 fund to support deserving anar-
ehists and dynamifers He said when
they found out he was a suspected as
sassin nothing was too good for him.
He said they wanted to know how he
expected to kill president by soaking
baled hay IN explosives. and dad said
II came to him suddenly to tell. them
that the president rode on horseback
d good deal, and he thought il q horse
was filed with baled hay and nitro
gIyeerine and the president spurred
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01

the horse and the horse jumped in the
air and came down .kerehunk on an
asphalt pavement, the horse would ex-
pIode, and when the rider came down
covered with sausage covers and horse
meat. he would be dead, or would want
to be. Dad said the anarchists went
into executive session and took up q
collection to send man to Berlin to
i'll tie emperor's saddle horses with
cut iced like dad suggested.
We'll, the anarchist story was too
much for Switzerland, and the next
morning dad was told By a policeman
that hs had to get out Of the country
Quick, and It didn't take us Is minutes
III pack uD, and here we are in Venice
Well. say. old friend this is the place
Were you ought to be, because nobody
works here, that is, nobody but gon-
doliers We have been here several
DAYS. and : have not seen a soul do
mo anything except begging, or sell
ING things that nobody seems to want
IF ANYBODY buys anything but onions.
it il for curiosity, or for souvenirs, and
vet the whole population sits around
II, tI7e sun and watches the strangers
from other lands price things and go
awav without buying. and then every
nadv looks mad. as though they would
ike to lab a knife into the stranger.
The piazas and the places near the
canal are filed with hueksters and
heagars. and you never saw beggars SO
,,,1tfiIafad and sore and disgusting. I
never supposed human beings could
IL u fEeforned, without taking an AK
n them. and 1t Is SO pitifll to see
1hena at you cant help shedding your
money
a. har1 hearted as dad IS. he
,aSssfels AZ. over SO the first day, just
giving ID beggars. and he thought ne
saagot them all bought Up. and that
.hev would I'll him alone. but the next
when he showed up there were ten.
ssaasaTs where there was one the day
$500 and they followed him every
.,t@aTa AMI all the loafers n the
s,sazas laughed and acted as Il they
s 1870 kafeh tl,e crippIes when dad got.
a,311f7ff sisns and rob the beggars. DAD
,ir,lss the people i've IS hv
s;yss4i4 with heggars- a man Wi1o mas
s ssaff,rT1affftv. or a sore that yotls can see
80 block away seems 20 ne con-
-s,1arad rich here, ike 2 man r amer
s.ss1s stock u great corpora
Yfal,s EThHse beggars PAY more taxes
s1sas he dukes aud tbirss who I've 70
slnposs dad never studied geogra-
pl,v 50 he NOV he'Hs ] el1se va.
go 8 ae tod me 60 SO out ana
!, sale Ie arst orning Fe we're
$, go 81, would 30 and see me
s. g., len told dad there Nere No.
-, horses ard no roads n
g 15s.5l,.s e said vas crazy g my asaa
! ] - 1glstto take some medicine
- g. bed for 3 few days o1If ]
s hen Va soe as.s=
every iI11g Eva 81 N : ST.
g ss.ss.s-ss showed Elm The canal and.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01
UNFORTUNATE YoUNosTER.
Irksome Restrictions That Surround
Young Heir to Many
Millions.

There is a four-year-old boy in New
York, heir to $40, 000, 900, who is going
to miss d whole lot of fun. His guardians
have set out to bring him u9 ideally"
To this end everything that money can
do viii be done. He is to have a dozen
skilled Instructors. a small army OF
nurses, maids, goyernesses and grooms
have been engaged to attend upon his
wants. A $4,000 Jersey cow has been
purchased to give milk for him alone.
The process of sterilization Is to be ap-
piled not only to the milk. but to almost
everything that comes in contact with
the youngstsr, says Robert Webster
Jones in the Housekeeper. The Iates.
devices ct science are to be employed for
his protection against germs. His play
mates are strictly limited in number and,
Of course. must all be little ar1stoerats.
have no wish TO disparage the adj
yantages of wealth nor the importance
OF careful and scientific training for the
young, but it does look as If Nature, Wis
est Of physicians, were not going to get
a chance to show what she could do for
l1i1S- 9outuAli lIiIAl0IldlF6+ Just Ell1k5 fJL
the boyish joys that the poet Riley sings
about which he will miss. The jolly ex-
eursiens to the odd swimmin hole the
blissfu1 manufacture of mud pies, the
ecstasy Of gaining free admission to tbs
circus by carrying water for the ele-
plant! What will he know. with his
expensive rcd and reel and careful at
tendants. Of the delights Of sgoin fish
inn,
There is great danger that the bog
who is Ideally brought up viii become
narroW-minded, snabbish. selfish man.
The spirit Of cur public schools is essen
TALLY American and democratic. The
public school IS the place fer every
American boy, rich or poor. He wiz
learn lessons there. and valuable ones
that are not in the books. To have So
00o.ao0 IS a pretty heavy handicap for q
boy starting out in life But it can De
overcome II the boy IS only given q
chance.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01

dress clothes and sit on Yerandas, or
eat and drink. and talk Eyetalian, and
ride in gondelas, and play guitars, and
smoke cigarettes, and talk love. 1t
i so warm you can wear your sum
merpants, and theswater smells Of clans
that died long ago. ct is just as
though Chicago was flooded by the
bursting Of the sewers, and people had
to go around State street, and all the
cross streets, and Michigan avenue, in
fishing boats, with three feet of water
On top Of the pavements. Imagine
the people Of Chicago taking gondolas
and riding along the streets, landing
at tie stores and hotels, just as they
do now from carriages.
We had been riding IN gondoIas for.
two days, getting aground in the mud
when the tide was out, and going to
sleep and waiting for the tide to come
in, when It seemed to me that dad
needed some excitement, and last night
I gave it TO him.
We were out IN our gondo1a, and the
moon was shining. and the electric
lights made the canal near the Rfalto
bridge as light as day The Rla1to
bridge. crosses the Grand canal, and
has been the meeting place for lovers
for thousands of years. It is 8 grand
structure. Of carved marble, but it
wouldn't hold up a threshing machine
engine half as we'll as an iron bridge.
Well, the canal was filed with thou
cardc #nf unndn7nu 1ao aad sur;4b 4b,
flower of Venetian society, and the
music just made you want to fall il
love. Dad said if he didn't fall in love.
or something. before morning, he
would quit the place I made up my
mind he should fall into something, SO
/ began BY telling dad It seemed
strange to me that nobody b1lt Eye
Italians could run a gondoIa lad said
ne could run a gondela as wen as any
foreigner, and I told him he couldn't
run a gondola for shucks, and he said
he would show me, 50 he got out Of
the hen house where we were seated.
and went back on to the pointed end
of the gondola, and grabbed the pole
or paddle from the gondolier, and said:
Now. Garibaldi, You 60 inside the
pup tent with Hennery. and let me
punt this ark around awhile"
Garibaldi thought dad was crazy,
but he gave mp the pole, and Just then.
when they we're both On tie extreme
point of the gondola, and she was
wabbling some, peeked out through
the curtains and thought the fruit was
about ripe. enough to pick. 50 I threw
myself over to one side of the gandola,
and. by gosh, If dad and Garibaldi
didn't both go overheard with a splash.
and one yell in the English language,
and one in Eyeta1ian. and I rushed
out of the cabin and such a sight you
never saw
Dad retained the paddle, and had his
head out Of water. but nothing showed
above the water where GaribaIdi was
except a red patch on his black pants.
Dad was yelling for help, and finally
the gondolier got his head out of ttse
water and said something that sound
ed like grinding a butcher knife on
grindstone, and yelled, too, and the
gondoIas began to gather around as.
and the two men were rescued. The
gondoIier had been gondoIing all his
life and he had never been in the water
before, and they thought it would
strike in and kill him, SO they
him up in blankets and put
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01
REASONABLE REFLECTION.
4 Practice That Is Reprshensible at
Unreasonable Hours
OnIv,

John Farzon, the Chicago banker. who
has drawn. up a list of satirical rules for
entering society, holds that there is too
much dissipation among the rich, says the
New York Tribune.
a remark I heard the other day." he
said to reporter, would apply well to
the average society man.
about the Russo-Japanese war and the
How curious the man said, that
japanese custom is Of taking off the shoes
before entering the house.
It is only curious, the woman re
torted, because it is praeticed at all hours
instead Of at night solely .
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01
II Paws Ia Read Newspaners

Cox, Wis, June I2.-Frank NJ. Russell,
that the he could could not lot walk TIED D se oa
treatment and many different remedies,
but was getting worse. He was very low.
He read IN newspaper how Dodd's
Kidney Pills were curing cases Of Kidney
Trouble, Bright's Disease and Rheuma-
tisrn, and thought he would try them. He
took two boxes, and now he IS quite well.
Il car. now work all day. and not feel
tired. Before using Dodd's Kidney Pills
I couldn't walk across the floor
Mr.. Russell's is the most wonderful case
ever known IN Chippewa County This
new rernedy-Dodd's Kidney Pills-is
making some miraculous cures in Wscon-
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01
The Shark IN Comm cree.

The shark. which Is So abundantin the
waters Of Central America IS 10 be
utilized in commercial products. a
company has been formed whicE con
verts sharks ms into jelly and timed
soup. makes line machinery Gil from
their Fssfss handsome Leather lequal
to alligator from their skins sF;a11llzitssgg
sticks rom taeir bones and M
at iieIes from thsir iawhones ana
teeth.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01
Cures Eczema, Itching Humors.

Especially for old, Oh onic cases take
Botanic Blood Balm. It gives a healthy
blood supply to the affected parts, heals
all the sores, eruptions. scabs, scales; stops
the awful itching and burning Of eczema,
SSFelings, suppurating, Waterg sores, etc.
Druggists, 81. Sample free and prepaid
6y writing Blood Balm Co., Atlanta, Ga.
Describe trouble and free medical advice
sent IN sealed letter.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01
Where Lies the Eastp

Eyes, I've just returned from q two
months visit N the east, the Portland
young lady was saying, and, oh, I had
such lovely timei Those fasteners are
SO different from US, though
What points did you vlsit?o inquired
the newcomer IN Oregon Il do hope you
saw dear old Boston"
"Boston,' the Portland girl calculated.
81 should say not. | was IN Montana.
Portland Oregonian
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01

liberty to repeat what I
first stated through our
Denver papers about
Deans Kidney Pills IN
the summer OF 1899, for
7 have had no reason in
the interim to change my
opinion Of the remedy. I
was subject to severe at
taeks of baekac1ae, al
ways aggravated If I sat
long at a desk. Doan's
Kidney Pills absolutely
stopped my backaehe. I
have never had a pain
or a twinge since.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01
Personal view.

Graft is. surprisingly common said
the apprehensive citizen.
graft is getting to be one of the scareest
things in our once proud and luxurious
civilization w ashlngton Star.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01
Ladies Can Wear Shoes

One size smaller after using Aliens Foot
Ease. A certain cure for swollen, sweating,
hot, aching feet. At all Druggists, &c Ae-
eept no substitute. Trial package FREE.
address A. S. 0lmsted, LIE Roy, N. Y.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01
"A Relief

After a years hard work 4 sea
Foyage is a real relief. 50
That's so; the last ens I was On
was relieved Of my dinner in less than
an hour Of sailing Houston Post.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01

When man is making for tie office
IN the morning, fighting the spring fever
germs at every step, 1t doesn't help much
to run into display window filed with
nice, shiny fishing tackle.-sioux City
Journal
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01
Unreal zed.

Aunt JaneSs your husband al you
thought he was?
Emma-Well, yes, I think he is; but I
am sorry to say he is far from being
what he thinks himself to be.-Modern
Society.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01

T often happens that man viii put him
self TO no end of trouble to find the key
to a weuaan's heart, when all the tins
the door Is wide open-Life.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01

If you have that tired feeling which
makes you reluctant to move, just get
somebody to give you shove into the
roadway of a street that is popular with
the omobilists.-Indianapo News.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01

Do not believe Piso's Cure for Consump<
Ion has an equal for coughs and colds:-J.
F. Boyer, Trinity Springs, Ind, Feb. Is, 1900.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01

The fact that the Russian general kisses
his soldiers hardly accounts for IT. They
ought to feel like fighting alter that
Binghamtoa Leader.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01

Il hate mean man, observed the po-
hick philosopher, but when I've got
money in a bank I'd heap ruther fer
the president to be knowa as skinHint
than as a rattlin good teller. Louisville
CourIer-J ournal.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01
Al a summer Garden

Fritz-Id's going to rain, and It? Let's
get unter cover once.
Hans-Vat,s der use yet? Ain'd We got
lids to our stems already ?-Cleyeland
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01
THREE YEARS AFTER.

Eugene E. Lario. of 751 Twentieth
Avenue, ticket seller in the Union Sta
ton, Denver, Col, SAYS: q. are Al
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01

Hunorists must have terrible time in
Japan. There are no old maids there
Chicago Chronicle
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-07-01

Foster-Maburn Co, Buffalo, n. 7.
For sale by al druggists. Price 50
cents per box.