Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1905-11-11
MOTHERS
in LAW
Man Should not Forget His
Mother Is His Wife'S
Mother in-LaW
(Helen oldfields.)

OF the newspaper numOrlSt8 can rcIuse
to admit that mothers.in-law, upon tho
dstaff side Of the house, are a much
misrepresented and maligned class
Fifty years ago, in the transmississip.
pi in the days Of derringers and bowie
knives, 'the man who killed a waiter
was a standing toast at hotel and
steamboat tables; even now, according
TO the popular press, he who would
slay his mother-in-law would be dc.
serving Of pity rather than blame and
should 20 unwhipt Of justice as a jus.
tifiablo homicide.
There Is no apparent reason why the
natural state Of man should be cni.
nifty towards his wife's mother. pro.
viding that there is peace, not to say
affection. between him and his wife.
On the contrary, II no have a good
wife and regard her az Goods best
gift 20 man." Il behoovcs him 10 be
duly appreciative Of the mother who
bore her and who trained her in the
way she should 20. "Liko mother, like
daughter" is an old and tested saying
which he may well remember.
Tho prejudice against mother sin
law, ne evincod by tho jest and gibes
OF Newspaper wits, IL generally nc.
credited 20 Thaekeray, who began the
attack IN bis novels. Il cannot be dc.
MED that the great satirist forgot the
kindly touch, which usually distin.
guishes biz structures, In dealing with
ths mothorsin.law Of his heroes. Bot
personally Thackoray could have had
no occasion for this attitude Of mind
Ills own wifo's mother was dead long
before bis marriage, and therefore
could have done him no despite. Dick
ems moihers.in-law, also, are neither
lovely nor lqvablo eXpononts OF wo.
manhood, but the same may DO said
with equal truth of his mothers, Il Il
In earieature, not portraiture, that the
genius Of oaduhill excella Tho truth
IL that motheFs,in.law, like other peo.
pie, arc Of all sorts-good, bad and In.
diffeFent-and like other women have
their virtues and their faults. Doubt.
less, also, n the truth were known,
they arc oftenor good than bad, and
more frequently indifferent than eth,
or Moraliats and psychologists tell
ms that Il l. tho rare exception 20 find
any, whether man or woman, wholly
good or irretTievahly bad, and that
the proportion OF good or evil in char
aeteF ia due far moro 20 environment
and education than % inherent virtue
or original ain. Wherefore Il would
seem that any man might II he would
be good friends with his mother,in-
law. II is merely a case OF ''He that
would have friends must show himself
friendly"
Ones blood relations are not always
exactly what one might wish had one
power 20 choose. There is an old
Scotch proverb which pithily tells the
tales "Better kind friends than fremit
(unfriendlyl KIM, Men are fully as
likely 20 disagree with their fathers
iu-law as with their mothers,inla
only in the newspaper jokes il is the
other way round, and Il Is the wife =
father who takes exceptions 20 his SON
in-law Sisters aud brothers in-law DO
not always DWELL together in harmony.
There is much Of pungent truth in the
saying that no house can be built
large enough to hold two families In
unity, The landscape is not the only
view to which distance lends euchant-
ment.
There is neither truth nor reason in
the Oft repeated saying that people
marry each other and not their res
peetive relatives. II is possible, in
deed, that a man may marry a wife
and separate her wholly from her kith
and kin, but the separation is seldom
effected without bitterness Of spirit
and more or less unpleasantness. In
Nt''N NNfN VI N1ANA transit uNN NhcAN
postage distance does not count as Of
yoFe, and her family may visit her in
India or far Cathay, and the wife who
finds cause for thankfulness in the
fact that her relatives never "bOther"
her husband, has occasion for regret
in the thanksgiving there is some
thing amiss with the man who cannot
tolerate his wife's family for the sake
of the love which he bears to herself.
IL is impossible to insist too often or
too strenuously in protest against the
reckless haste with which so many men
aud women rush into matFimony. Mar
riage is serious undertaking; none
more 50 In life; and whatever may