Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1905-08-23
FISHING OR AGR:cULTuRE2
JUST FOR FUN

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Old Rocksey-"rhe young man who
marries my daughter must be rich. ;"
Impecune-"Well, sir, don't know of
any better way to get rich than to mar
ry er."--Puck.
Inert Ike-"NJot does procrastinate'
mean?" Homeless Homer-"To put
Off. Inert Ike-"Gee, but wuzn't we
procrastinated from dat fast freight"
Cleveland Leader.
"What landed you here?" asked the
prison visitor. "Dis is case O. mis-
taken Identity" replied the convict.
II mean de feller took fur me pal was
fly cop.-Philadelphia Ledger.
The Lady-"Ah, my poor man, I am
glad to hear you say you never miss
BATH Gritty George-"No'm! |
haven't taken one in ten years and I
don't miss it a bit."-Chicago Daily
News.
Cholly--"T s-say, guide; I think we
are following these bear-tracks in the
wrong direction" Guide-"Oh, no.
We will soon catch up with him" !"
Cholly-"T-that's what m-meant. =
Judge.
Paw Figgjam-"What makes you
think your teacher is crazy?" Tommy
Figgjam-"Because when she whipped
me yesterday she told me she stood in
loco paresis' to me!"-Baltimore
American.
"Was anybody punished for Graf
tons misdeeds?" "Yes." II under
stood he was acquitted" "He was,
But the business men on the jury lost
money and missed their meals. =
Washington Star.
"Do you think there is any difference
in mans weight before he eats his
meal, and afterwards?" asked the
clearinghouse lady. 'Well. not if he
gets the meal here" replied the thin
boarder-Yonkers Statesman.
"Heres a clergyman who urges that
women should go to church plainly
dressed Indeed? He must want to
add to the problem, Why do not men
go to church, the problem, Why do
not women go to church 2 Puck.
"Isn't it queer" said Singleton, chat
woman takes mans name when she
marries?" "Oh, don't know" replied
Wedderly. "It would be queerer still
if she didn't take everything else The
poor jay has."-Chicago Daily News.
Ibid the father give the little bride
away?" 81 should say he did! He got
ratified, and what do<you think he said
as he handed her over to the gloom?"
"What?" st is more blessed to, give
than to received '"-Cleveland Leader.
"It is hard to tell whom you can
trust" said one CRATER "Yes," an
swered the other. Sometimes think
there is no such thing as honestJ. You
never know who is going to turn
States evidence next. t."-Washington
Star.
Glow did you find things in Ameri-
car" asked the interviewer of the Euro
pean who had come over here to look
around WELL" was the answer,
"credit. is di1ated, stocks diluted, and
the President is delighted. Washing
ton Star.
'No, indeed" she said, 81 can never
be your wife. Why, l have half a doz.
en- offers before yours Huh" re-
joined the young man in the case.
That's nothing. proposed to at least
dozen girls before met you. Chi.
cago Daily News.
How do you explain these mutinies
in the Russian navy?" Very easily"
answered the English fisherman
"People who can't tell trawler from
a warship must be too nearsighted to
recognize their own commanders. y
Washington Star.
"a Government official is but SER
want of the people" said the man with
old-fashioned ideas. "Yes," answered
Senator Sorghum. ''The trouble is
that in so many cases the tips amount
to more than the regular wages.
Washington Star.
What is the foot and mouth dis
ease?" at is an ailment much pre-.
valent among certain class of public
men. who have bad mouth, and every
time they open it they put their foot
in it. Next time you can ask harder
one, Boston Transcript.
Sharpleigh-"There's Dusenberry
he's slept only two hours day fol
the past five years" Snodgrass- How
remarkable" Sharpleigh-"Yes, he's
had a Government job that long and
takes the remainder of his rest II
night. Washington Life.
"Gracious, Elsie!" exclaimed the lit.
tie girls mother, "why are you shout
ing in that horrible fashion? Why
can't you be quiet like Willie?" "He's
got to be quiet, the way we're playin','
replied Elsie. Hes papa coming home
late and I'm you" philadelphia Press
Collector-"I've motioned to that ole
man three times, and he pretends moi
to see me. Now, I'm going to present
this bill in the presence of his friends.
Office Boy-"Aw, you chump! he cam
see you-don't you know he's blind?'
Collector-"Blind? Then, by George
he's got me-this is payment at sight!'
-Cle( Nland Leader.