The Washington times., 1905-01-01
Nep Year Resolutions
OF Nations Great Men
Their Hopes ana Fears Mirrored. as They
Peer Into the Future to See What Is
in Store for Them

Channcey VI. .Depew-That he WIZ con-
tinue 70 keep his toga Immediately
white. in order that Odell fashions in
Black goods may not become popular
in the New York Legislature.
Governor Odell-T1Iat Platts will go
out of fashion for coy Senatorial hirts
seventy years young. and that the re-
vised Empire styles from Newbnrg will
become all the rage this year.
Cover nor-clect Higgins-That Olean
soap win clean up the dirty spots on the
States recent record and that the new
s1el, ,00J,Go0 canal win held water every
where, instead of only gushing forth
champagne here and there
Senator knox-That the Pennsylvania
Legislature VIII not run amuck be-
cause of fear that his vote for Govern
ment supervision of railroad rates in
the Philippines indicates favoring the
same thing 1T home
Governor Pennypacker-That the press
muzzler biIl's failure TO cage the wild
Animals | Have Known" shall not pre-
vent his gathering enough ernine TO
make Supreme Court robe
Senator GormanThat his Laurel
wreath may continue rerenniaily green.
Rayn-er-shine. and that by the use of
Hi2CnillS guns he ttfSty COHlAAuC H4NNS--
Gus wherever the War-field may be.
Thomas Collier Platt-That ambitious
politicians may learn the superiority Of
buckwt1eat harmony breakfasts TO club
dinners with emphasis on the boss
''cIub.")
Senator Foraker-That Governor Her
rick shall not be led astray by anything
a Dick-y bird may say. but will bear
lrar STr
too big TO .se invaded by three men from
any other acres.
Senator Fair5anks-That with the com
ing of spring, the press paragraphers
will cease pronouncing his name FROST
banks" and come TO know and appre-
ciate the innate cordiality of his nature
Senator HaIe-That Fairbanks will not
trouble him with any more architects s
dreams for replacing the homes OF
Union soldiers widows. historic ST.
Johns Church, and other landmarks
about Lafayette Square with colossal
new Government buildings which would
dwarf the White House.
Senator Cockrell-That his heart is
true to the home-Folks. who are going
to turn the rascals out" in the Show
Me" State. but that he hopes the invol-
untary termination Of his thirty-year
inning will not be confused with the be-
ginning of the State boodlers' outing.
bill Joel" Stone-That Missouri poll
ticians viii not become so proficient In
gum shoe methods that they viii
snatch away from him his reputation
for sucking the eggs and hiding the
shells without detection
Senator Beverfdge-That his construc-
tive craftsmanship in building new
States out of Western Territories viii
receive as prompt attention from his col
league, Tillman, as the latter meted out
in the Wasp of the Wabash" incident.
Senator Morgan-That he will employ
q French valet TO sing Il was only tees
ing YOU to his colleagues in the Sen
ate every time a new dissension springs
up in Panama instead of running the II
told you so'' cylinder too continuously
on the phonograph.
Senator Tillman-That "Crums of
Comfort" (unexpurgated edition) has
not received his Endorsement, and that.
as a religious tract, he considers It
black failure for missionary purposes in
South Carolina.
Senator earn ack-That the Tennessee
viii undertake to apply the
same treatment to the sun and all the
stars. provided President Roosevelt will
give a personal o. K. Endorsement to the
Senator's latest appreciation" OF him
as an anti-imperiaIfst.
Senator Smoot-That his colleagues in
vestigating Mormon affairs will rescue
and endow him with a seat as firm as
theirs