West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1905-09-07
most flial affection for me =.

Peace Conference in America.
Everywhere 60 l hear my tax laws
on the lips of the people. They are
organizing Dawson Tax Clubs all
over the city. Tell me it is spread
ing to the rural districts and the
farmers are forsaking their plows
and hayrakeS and fleeing to the city
TO get a glimpse of the Great Ameri-
can Tax Reformer ! Is not this a
proud distinction for the man who
made pies and tax laws the staple
commodity of his beloved country ?
"My introduction of pies into
Canada has set the people wilder
than Lawson's Frenized Finance.
And TO think that there is no insur
gents in Canada to dispute my right
and title TO them Do you blame
me for renouncing my allegiance to
| America ?
"But this is not all. On and
after January the first, 1900, | am
to be crowned the Pie and Tax
King of Canada shall expect
you and Leader Shaw to be present
at the crowning. shall be disap
pointed if you and the heroic Leader
do not come and bring with you
strong testimonials from Charley
Teter, Reese Blizzard, Sam Montgo-
mery and the rest of the insurgents,
setting forth my great charity as
tax reformer. This will aid me
nightly in my kingdom and rally
the people TO my support when King
Eddie discovers that the Great
American Tax Reformer and Pie
man has captured his Canadian pie.
Tell Scherr, May, Swisher, Mil
Ter and the rest of the pie boys that
| regret that | will not be with them
in 1906 to lead them in the raid on
the pies. But | have faith in your
ability and foresight. my dear Ram
bier, that you will take up the mis-.
sionary work where feft off. De.
vote all the time you can possibly
spare to the Bowery an d
red light districts and see that the
sons of Ham 10 not stray away
from the fold. In them / found
my greatest solace and comfort when
the insurgents had me in the tall
timber paving and believing for
more pie. They are very docile
and will follow where you lead if
you show them the bead on the
campaign frewaler.
"Have my tax laws had any fur
ther tussel with the courts since /
left the country? II is a crying
shame that the courts had to be in
voked TO interpret my tax laws.
They are so generous to the poor
people that they grew suspicious Of
their generosity and applied 10 the
courts for trade mark SO the in
surgents could not infringe upon
them In this they were probably
! justified for there is no telling what
the insurgents would do TO my tax
laws il they are not restrained by
the strong arm of the law"
have many letters from the Gov
ernor of like import and meaning,
but for the present shall not make
them public. They are valuable
documents and intended to be used
in our next pie campaign.
The mail has just brought me a
warm letter of repentance from Bro.
l.. V. Reed, of the Preston Repub-
lican. Bro. Reed was lead astray
by the insurgents while still a youth
of tender years and ambitious to
get close to the firing line and be a
hero. cannot blame him, for in
the early sixties was seized by
such a spasm myself to get on the
firing line and get a glimpse of the
Johnnies, but after the first intro
duction to them suddenly remem-
bered that manly retreat was the
only alternative to save my honor
and trouncing. | retreated. So
has Bro. Reed on the tax laws |
have never regretted my retreat.
Bro. Reed will proclaim the same
sentiment in the House of Delegates
when with his eloquence and oratory
he will fire the country in defense
Of our illustrious tax laws
In my varied experience in poll
tics ] have observed that there is
but one thing in America that will
move a man TO tears and a change
Of heart, and that is the coveted and
succulent Pie. Once you &c: within
hailing distance Of IL there is no
power on earth (and Gov. Dawson
writes me there is none in Canada )
that can restrain you from reaching
out and grasping for il. Once with
in your grasp no mother in-lsw can
/ persuade you to part with It, To
prove that / am not delving in the
realm Of fiction I can produce the
testimonials Of such eminent piemen
as Gov. Dawson, Steve Elkins,
Charley Elliott DR.. Lanhsm, Black
Dovener, Nathan Scott and a host
Of others
Now that Bro Reed has had a
change Of heart feel that he will
retire early and dream Of the pies
that the Machine and Ring have
promised him. It is better to be