Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1905-09-15

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Cannibalism in Scotland.-Iady in
Sandyford district would like two gen.
tlemen for dinner daily. - Glasgow
Herald.
Lady-Can that parrot talk? Dealer
Talk Why, say, lady, you'd tink
he wuz brought in a box at de op-
ery.-Puck.
Miss Psweet - Excuse me, but
where did you learn to dance? Mr..
Splay-In a correspondence school,
Chicago News.
Farmer Blake tat New York res
taurant)-Waal, Miranda, here's spin
ach sixty cents l wonder If that's a
peck or bushel.-Llfe.
whats Stevens doing now?"
Nothing" But l was told he was
holding a government position" HE
is."-Milwaukee Sentinel.
"You say his course was not quite
satisfactory to the labor unions"
why, no. He worked ten hours
day to secure the passage Of an eight
hour law."-Ex..
II might have known better than to
trust my money to that broker"
why so? Are appearances against
him" mo, confound him! It's his
disappearance."-Town and Country.
Nordy-Insure in your company
With your highest officials fighting
the way they are? Butts-Sure thing.
You can see for yourself that we must
have assets worth fighting over.-Ex.
Edwin have to go to Scotland
next week. You will be true to mo
while am gone, won't you? An
gelina-Of course. But-er-don't be
gone long, will you dear?-Pick-Me-
Up.
Johnny, who was Peter and who
was Paul" Them was the guys wat
robbed each other to pay each other
without lettin' their left hands get
WISE" - Cincinnati Commercial-Trib
une.
hear tell bout how many geniuses has
been allowed to starve an how many
lazy folks manages to git livin' by
pretendin' to be geniuses. washing
ton Star.
Friend Of the Family-You are very
lucky, my boy, to be the seventh son.
, 1t will bring you everlasting fortune.
Son No. Tt hasn't so far. All it's
brought yet is the old clothes Of my
, six brothers.-Detroit Free Press.
r "And did you tell God about it, and
: ask His forgiveness" inquired her
! mother Of the little daughter whom
: at last she had let out of the closet.
t "Why, no. was so bad didn't think
: you'd want 1t known outside the fam
|, ily."-Ex.
"Myr exclaimed the good old soul,
looking up from her paper, these col
lege games are getting to be horribly
rough" whats the matter nowT'
> asked her husband. Here's a report
in the paper about Yarvard man
beating all his rivals with the ham
!, mer. r."-Philadelphla Press.
a Bishop Goodman dmpresslvely)-
Only think, children! in Africa there
are ten million square miles Of terri
q tory without n single Sunday school
, where little boys and girls can spend
I their Sundays. Now, what should we
all try and save up our money to do
y Class Qn ecstatic union)-GO to Afrl
1 ca!-Judge.
t The young woman In the stern oi
4 the little boat had whispered softly
e the word "yes." "But stay right wher,
: you are, Jack" she added, hastily; "il
d you try to kiss me you'll upset the
/, boat" "How do you know?" hoarse
k ly demanded Jack, a horrible suspi
d cion already taking possession Of him
n Chicago Tribune.
y Visitor-Quite neat little place
IL that one with the green shutters Who
!. lives there? Host-That's Cooper's
house. He had rich uncle, who left
i him all his money. Visitor-Oh And
whose is that magnificent mansion
over there? Host-That belongs tc
n the lawyer who settled up Cooper's