Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1905-02-24
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towels. Landlady-Are you going to
stay here all summer?-Lustige Blaet-
ter.
Some one tells story of a steam
boat passenger watching the revolving
light of lighthouse on the coast, and
exclaiming:
Book Agent-Now, sir, can sell
you an encyclopedia? Old John-Noa,
| don't think so. I'm tew old to ride
now.-Punch.
Jinks-How's your wife, Blinks?
Blinks-Her head troubles her good
deal Jinks-Neuralgia? Blinks-No;
she wants a new hat,
Teacher-Which letter is the next
one to the letter H? Boy-Dunno,
ma'am. Teacher-What have | on
both sides of my nose? Boy-Freckles.
ma'am.
Pardon me-" said the masher "but
you look like young lady l know"
Pardon me-" interrupted Miss
Bright, but you look like a man l
don't know."-Philadelphia Press.
Why are you pouting, Ethel"
Jack said l was beautiful. l told
him he must have been shortsiyhted."
What did he say " why, the hor-
rid thing said perhaps he s."-Chi-
cago News.
Clara overheard her parents talking
about Bible names. rs my name in
the Bible?' she asked mo, dear"
Didn't God make me?' "Yes." Then
why didn't he say something about
it"-Harper's Magazine.
Tom-Young Higgins has a cheap
look about him, yet he is decidedly
popular with the fair sex. How do
you account for it? Jack-Oh, l sup
pose there is sort of bargain-counter
charm about his cheap look.
81 am amazed, sir, that you should
propose to my daughter. You have not
known her a week" True, madam,
but have known you for some time,
and everybody says your daughter
takes after you" He got the girl.
81 wisht wuz president of the Lum.
Der Trust" said Jimmy, "and de base
ball managers had to come ter me fur
de boards fer deir fences" "Why?"
asked Tommy. why, wouldn't sell
dem a bloomin' board dat didn't have
knot-hole in it,"
Papa-Your mother tells me you
haven't been a very good boy to-day,
Johnny. Johnny-Between us, pa
think she's a little prejudiced against
me. 1t was only the other day she
told Aunt Kate l was just like you.-
Boston Transcript.
why" said Bobby to his elder
brother, "do herring have so many
more illnesses than other fish "Who
says they do?" asked the youth ad-
dressed. why, this book says that
thousands upon thousands of them are
cured every year"
mo, Harold" said the sweet girl +;
81 can only be a sister to you" well,
then" he savagely replied as he heard
a subdued chuckle, las your brother.
shall claim the privilege of lying
under the sofa while you make fools
Of the other fellows"
Mrs. Potts-Just to think of you
talking to me in such a style. You,
who used to swear | was an angel.
Mr.. Potts-Look here, my dear, that
isn't fair you know it isn't. What is
the use of twitting man about the
lies he told fifteen years ago?
IF a man tells the exact truth at
all times" said the philosopher, "he
has done as much as ought to be eX.
pected of him." my friend" answer.
ed the weather forecaster, "he has
done great deal more than ought to
be expected of him.-Washington Star.
Friend-I don't understand why you
and your husband should have separ-
ated so soon. Mrs. Aftermath-It was
all owing to the .baby's temper "Mer-
cy on us! How can that be?" I'VE
couldn't agree as to which one of us
the baby took after.'-New York
Weekly.
Little Ruth visited large whole
sale grocery store with her aunt.
While there a clerk gave her a small
sample bottle of ketchup. That even
ing she tasted it and seemed much
pleased 'Oh, auntie!' she exclaimed
some time later, when you go to that
store again, please tell the clerk
would like another example of ketch-
up."-Little Chronicle.
"You were never married, | be-
leve" mo; l was never married"
That's singular, isn't it," mo, not
at all. You see, the first time | fell
in love | said to myself-'Ill marry
her or none" "Why didn't you mar
ry her, then" "Well you see. after
had become better acquainted with
her | said to myself 'I'u marry mona