The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-01-14

lady; you didn't believe the other one.
Eek.
He-Can't we just quietly separate
without getting a formal divorce? She
But I'm already engaged to another.
Life.
us your wife economical?" Very.
She can fix over ten-dollar hat for
s15 SO it will look just as good as a
new one."--Puck.
Big Brother-Now, Willie, you must
give me the larger half OF the apple,
because mamma says we mustn't be
greedy.-Harper's Bazaar.
How are you making out in writing
for the magazines?" Just holding my
own. They send me back as much as
l send them."-Detroit Free Press.
Uncle Josh-'Most every official that
amounts to anything has to file an an
nual report. Uncle Hiram-Yes; an
guess that's about all some of 'em do.
Puck.
Tourist say, guide, what does that
memorial stone comr- -morate? Guide
1 put 1t there. 1t was upon that spot
a tourist once gave me five francs
Tit-Bits.
Meekly-Yes, we're going to move to
Swamphurst Doctor-But the climate
there may disagree with YOUR wife.
Meekly-It wouldn't darel-Philadel
phia Press.
Nell-Mr. Krammerer is so kind. He
said took very pretty and very ar
tistic picture. Bell-Indeed? And
whose picture did you take. dear?-
Philadelphia Ledger.
Lady-very healthy place, is lit
Have you any idea what the death
rate Ia here? Caretaker-Well, mum,
can't 'zactly say; but it's about one
apiece all round.-Punch.
Mrs. Smith-Td like to sell you
ticket, sir. We're getting up a rattle
for poor sailor. Mr.. Krusty-Not to
me. l wouldn't know what to do with
a sailor II won him.-Ex.
Most divorces are caused by a very
common mistake" what is It'll"
MANY a man in love only with a dim
pie or a curl makes the mistake Of mar
rying the whole girl."-Life.
Clarnda-Aren't you allowed to
keep dog in your new fatf Florinda
No, we had to give Fido away; but
Jack had his dear little bark put in
our onograph.-Journal Amusant.
Ida-Are they really SO rich? May
Il should say 80. When they slipped
several spoons and saucers into their
grips the hotel clerk said 1t was mere
ly the souvenir hobby.-Chicagc News.
"Heavensr' exclaimed the first moth,
there's a fine prospect of starving to
deathw How so?" inquired the 9th
er one. There's nothing in this box
we're locked up in but bathing-suit.
Eek.
Miss Passay-You may sneer at pet
dogs, but they're faithful, anyway
I'd rather kiss good dog than some
men. Mr.. Sharpe-Well. well, some
men are born lucky.-Philadelp
Ledger.
Edith-Is 1t true. Dolly, that Larkin
kissed you before he picked you up In
that runaway? Dolly-Yes, dear; you
know he is studying to be a doctor
and that was first aid to the injured
Chicago Record Herald.
Photographer would suggest tina
you relax the features little and as
sumo a more pleasing expression. Mrs
| Il Qor n n II
insist. but l can tell you right now 1
won't look like me.--Chicago Tribune
What" asked the female-suffrag g.
advocate with the square chin, "ha
become of our manly menT "Som'
of Them" replied the meek and lowl,
citizen, "have married womanly won
en-. and are now engaged in raising
childish children. Chicago News.
!. Uncle George have read your arti
Gle over, and 1 must say 1t shows
great deal of originality. Arthur
y Thanks, I'm sure l f1attered mysel
there were some ideas In 1t. Uncl
L George was not speaking of tn
composition, but of the spelling
Boston Transcript
1t was on the old camp ground
Il pass de hat" suggested Bruddal
! Wheatly. But the parson raised hi
q hand. mo, sah," he shouted, "dere'l
be no hats about it. Pass tin DO.
: wild a chain to it. De last time ha
was passed around heah 1t nevah cam
, back, and had to go home barehead
ed."-Chicago News.
81 must have a new gown and Goa
at once" Great thunderation, won
an. how can you ask for gown an
coat when you have to testify in m
bankruptcy hearing next week.
simply have to have them. Do 20
g think l can face the people in tn
4 courtroom when l am wearing my oil
: clothes Indianapolis Sun.
It Fond Mother-You will be year
n old tomorrow, Willie. and | want
{ give you a real birthday treat. TIE
me what you would like better tina
q ANYTHING else. Willie after thinkin
,e earnestly for five minutes)-Bring me
lie whole box Of chocolate creams. mott
~ or. and ask Tommy Smith to come
re and watch me eat 'em.-Youth.
- Mr.. Uggy-Don't you remembe
r. dear. when your father forbade m
c the house? Mrs. Uggy-Yes, and whe
ir mother wouldn't let me out of he
~ sight for a moment? Mr.. Uggy-An
] made up my mind to go oil and die
Me- IrQvv-Yee. and | scared fathe