The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-30


With thy heart far from mine,
'Two,lld be for Joy that in a little while
Frank L. Stanton in Atlanta Constitu-
ton
/ HUMOR OF THE Day
.-Have you ever contributed to the hap
piness of your fellow mani" asked the
Sure, / have,a answered the sardonic
citizen Il am one of the policyholders
and paid family pensions. Wa shington
Yes said the magnate, 'T began life
penniless. and now see where am
"9h, cheer up ,,., said the happy but
can find a college or church some day
that win relieve you Of your money
II had to break my engagement with
Miss Van Scrap''
did she take it to hearth"
Yes; but that amt the worst Of it."
She's going to take it to court."-Pitts-
burg Post
Little Pet ION her knees before retiring)
Mamma, may pray for rain?
Mamma-Y-e-s: If you want to; but
why?
me to her picnic.SNew YORK Weekly. .''''''
Mrs A-why do you get new maid
Mrs SRu My % CID one Rnews 6ow live at
home-Cleveland Leader.
Shelf is said that diseases are spread
by kissing
He-Yes-heart disease, for instance
Chicago Journal.
Mrs. Tompkins-WelI, Sally, 1 suppose
you've given the gold fish plenty of water?
Sally-Goodness, no, maam; cause they
'aven't drunk all they've got yet.-Boston
Record.
81 hate to have anything on my con-
science, don't your he unused
II never have he replied. quickly, mine
isn't working Detroit Free Press.
There's no authority for the statement
that It when Adam and Eve left the Garden
and Adam said he didn't either.-Somer-
Vile Journal.
Il have seen tribes said the traveller
who voluntarily undergo all sorts of self
inflicted lacerations''
know lot. of people who insist on shaw
Ferdie-what an exquisite complexion
Miss Dresden has! Nature has indeed been
kind TO her.
Gertie-Yes. it's a natural gift to be able
to do it so well. But her people are all
artistic.-Cleveland Leader.
"Have you any idea asked the conf
Dental friend, what the campaign is go
ing to cost your
idea it's going to cost me my reputation
| for veracity with most of the fellows to
whom have promised good Jobs. Chi
cago Tribune.
81 have here. SIR" began the book agent,
| "a volume containing 81 lectures by 81
/ week
| the year
Good gracious. mani" replied the meek
that supplies with a lecture every day
| in the ear."-Chicago News.
Mrs. Laker-I am a true daughter of
way. You can neither cook nor wash
Mrs. Laker-Neither could Eve.-chicago
News.
Yes, he actually tried to kiss me in
But why couldn't he obtain the same
result by merely closing his eyes ?"-CIeve-
| land Plain Dealer.
Some one seid to Brother Dickey:
Here's a story of man who has five
Brother Dickey didn't reply for second
| or two and then said:
Il s'pose dey'lI keep him dar all de time
now?"
why. in de asylum, of co'ser'-Atlanta
| Constitution.
You do not seem to attach much impor-
lance to political enthusiasm"
| NO answered Senator Sorghum II
have observed that one friend can holleP
and make as much noise as twenty people
who have settled down In a determination
to vote against you.''-WaShington Star.
THE 17-year locusts have reached Wis
consin, and each of them has a well de-
VIVA WHATS the oh w. w T for =
They say it stands for war. -
Nonsense. I'll bet its some scheme of
Rooseyelt's to secure a bigger navy
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
That's natty yachting suit that Dan
And his yacht is as natty as his suit"
appearance on deck"
ION deck? He never goes on deck He
stays below and plays bridge. "-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Wife-There's one thing about 1t. John,
you don't have to pay coal bills here at
| the seashore''
Husband-No. but noticed when I paid
waves come just as high!-Detroit Free
| Press.
Come, GOMEZ the country candidates
friends asspred him, you're elected be-
'"That so?" replied the candidate.
! about?'
Il just thinkin' no power on earth
| will prevent the village band from com
| ing up here to serenade me."-PhiIadeI-
phia Ledger.
That letter carrier would make a good
baseball pitcher observed the fan.
| 'Why?" demanded the seoreboard aend
| Because his delivery is so good -
Portland Telegram.
THAT brother of yours. Lucy" said thu
man of the house. seems to he a rr.ttS,
| tough character" HsS
Deed, he is, suh.'' replied the coiorsd
maid. He jes natchelly seems to be de
white sheep OBJ our family sho' Y,,,fs
| Philadelphia Press.