The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-10-02
A String ofG Stories
A
"IcanuOt toll how the truth ma be;
] say tho tale as twas said to me-"

s. INvENT1NG A PRETEXT.
H NJ COLLINS, Chicago's new chief Of police, was
- talking to- a reporter about his work.
sTMy work would be more difficult, , he said; Sin fact, it
would be impossible-were it not that every man IN the
world is a policeman. Every man watches his brother man,
and knows that his brother man watches him in turn. Thus
the work Of us professional Lecoqs is kept down.
'EThe proof Of this thing is that, if A. sees in his friend
B. signs of dishonesty, his own moral tone relaxes, and he
tends to become dishonest himself. Thus:
"There was a suburban grocer who took his clerk to a
saloon one day after closing time and purchased a good
many glasses Of beer. Then, after he began to feel talkative
and trustful, the grocer said: .~ -.
= "'Look here, John. I owe $4,000 5
"'Yes, SIR said the clerk. I know it,
TT have $4,000 in the safe.' ..r..<~
".tYes, sir ~ :#4 a.
1ttAAnds the store is empty. The stock is completely run
down. think it is time to fail, don't you?,' ...>sI. - -
" 4 do said the clerk, Il certainly do =
"'But I need a pretext,' said the grocer. Hang il, I
can't find a pretext. I'll tell you what you do, John. You
think this matter over, and let me know tomorrow morning
any suggestions as to a pretext for failure that may come
to you during the night ~
3'The clerk promised to do this, and the two men sep
arated. " = Il"
''The next morning on his desk the grocer found this note
from John: 9 49,
"I have taken the $4,000 and gone to South America:
It is the best pretext you can give your creditors.
il - 1"*". AZ A FRIENDLY TURN.
DOOTH was talking about Burns, whose
II poetry he admires. -. .'# +
"In. a beer hall one night" he said, IT saw a bust Of
Burns. @ -
IT turned to a young man and said: i: :Ax> "
" Burns he answered, without hesitation. " ss
"'And WHAT said I did Burns do to entitle him to
a bust?' T. ~" = "
""Why, he-he-oh, he died. said the young man,
yawning.
'But his companion was a Scot. This Scot, as he filled
his whisky glass, sneered and said: ~
Burns death alone wouldn' It have sufficed for his COM
>memoration in bronze, and marble. Burns was a poet, gen
t1eman. Furthermore. he was a good fellow. Let me tell
you something that should endear him to such minds as
yours. @-
tOnce, in D%umfries, Burns had the job Of gauger. He
went about from pubichouse to publichouse, seeing that
a good, pure grade of whisky was served. And he was sup
posed, too, to keep his eye; open for unlicensed houses-to see
that no speak-eases, as we call them, fourished in Dumfries.
"And did he do it? Did he, indeed? There's a fond Dunn
fries tradition that, sneaking hurriedly into the back door
Of a prosperous speak-easy one afternoon, Burns whispered
excitedly to the owner, a widow:
/ "tKate, woman, are we mad? The supervisor and me
will be raidin' we in half an hour ">@ 49,. 49,.
LAWYER TACT. 4
4 7 THE American Bar Association banquet at Nara
~ gansett, Hector Lawrence of Duluth said, apropos OF
tact: <.:.. ~. @&a*
''Tact often goes a great way in a case. l know a man
who defended an old fellow charged with stealing an armful
of wood. 50
"The judge was very deaf, and had a habit Of talking
to himself. Sometimes, unconsciously, he talked to himself
in a pretty loud tone.
!ttNot, in this case, when the prosecutor took the stand
andiidentihed his stolen wood with great posltlveness, the
Judge, asked himself in a louder key than he was aware Of:
can he identify this wood when one sticks as
much like another stick as one egg is like anotherY
"The tactful lawyer for the defense rose Immediately.
",.Your honor he exclaimed passionately, 'how can this
witness identify his wood so positively when one stick is
as much like another stick as one egg is like anotherY
et.The Judge turned to the jury with a great start.
"sGentlemen,' he said, you will acquit the prisoner
That very thought flashed thru my head not a moment before
the words were spoken by the learned counsel for the defense.
Yes, you will acquit the prisoner, gentlemen. | consider this
a direct interposition Of Providence