davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune., 1905-12-24

the cup shall pass from her, why then the Lord Will
provide a way
For quite some several days folerin' Tberius is
off his feed and it begins look like he had one
wav ticket to the Golden Shore when thar drifts INTO
camp a couple of male bein's with two cayuses
hitched to a dnky little old wagon and in the wagon
a box which the same they keep their optics on with
a persistency worthy of a better cause.
when he sees EN-, Tiberius he rushes up to one
an old gent with optical delusions-and grabs
him by the paw like he was his rich uncle that he
hoped was dead long ago. Why, howdy, perfessor,
saws he How in the world did ye ever git here
without bein disCOvered?
with that the perfessor chuck1es like DRAWN
a 1ath along picket fence and discovers IN l1ber1us
1ong-1ost friend with whom he falls into the habit
of taki1' over old times, lust like 1t came natural
to 'em. Afterwards the perfessOr unloads his box
and shows us sure nterestin display OF scientific
instruments, cOnsistln' of a dozen paper balloons
and about hundred and fifty dynamite cartridges.
| sure wonders what excuse the pertessor has Tor
totn them things about the country, but he don't
volunteer no msinfOrmatiOn, only he allows he
reckOns he'll tarry with us till mOrn1n.
'At daybreak thar approaches gent from
Topeka with a vallyble document to present to the
perfessOr in the name of the State OF Kansas which
the same is a warrant of the most v1'lent type
Howsomever this same perfessor and his pardner
amt nowhar visible the naked eye-them or their
Cayuses or their wagon-and the box full OF Fourth
O. July celebrations is the only thing that remains
to remind of departed guests.
"Wel1, pardner, every day or two Tlber1us trails
over to Wallace and invests in a 1ong-drawn sigh
on the instalment plan. The situation doesn't
appeal to my sober Judgment and bein' in Kansas
l can't sense any better prospects than remalnln
sober for quite sometime to come. So was begin
ming to ponder what the worst | could do to
change the dreadful uncertainty into horrible
reality, when something happens.
Pardner, the recollection of the sinful acts OF
that remorseless Tberius is painful that | don't
know how can ever tell it to the least advantage
Anyway, here he drifts across the prairie like the
breath of sander and lays profane hands upon that
box of hip-hip-hurrahs.
"'Tberi1s' cries l, noting his evil designs, what
in the name of Annie Mas and Sophia air ye goln
to do?'
"'You leave me a1onel' he ye1s. I've got an
idee.'
4 grabs him. 'Tiberius,' says I, you look me
in the eye All, you can't! Then says l, 'thar's
mischief afloat, and l amt gon to be party to
holycaust or somethin' less pleasant.
"'Let me bel cries he. | tell we, I've got an
New-York tribune., 1905-12-24

your daughter, hopin' you Il
forgive us, is goin' to get
spliced. "
Well, sir remarks Tibe-
rius, the old mans powder
mill blowed up right thar. 1t
sure was the worst case OF
disorderly conduct ever coun-
tenanced by a law-abidin' and
liberty-lovin' people. Say,
that mans flow % language
is sure a geyser-a spoutln',
sizzlin', steamin' geyser-lt
sure is! The pyrotechnics
continue, without interruption
by any remarks O mine, until
the COWS come home. Then
he pauses to catch his breath,
and Miss Pauline slips her
arms around his neck and
makes a few gestures that are
sure pertinent and to the
point. But he amt got no
blessin's on tap, not on your
life, Horatio! He just gets
onto his navigatOrs and stam'
pedes up the street, me and
Miss Pauline standin' thar
trailin' him by watchin' the
shingles fly off the roofs.
"' Well, then, says |, 'un-
less you elope, | don't sec
That's what | remarks to
Miss Pauline says lib; but
she opines that she amt
hankerin' to go mushin' across
no prairie to make a fool O
herself, when she can do the
same to home just as well.
Says that if she has to marry
me, that if SO be it amt that
New-York tribune., 1905-12-24

Vatln the null twelve o EN-
simultaneous and to onst
sure oughter bring results IN
an hour. Say, hadn't it,
1T sure had says l.
But in the present case.
says he, no inch of rain Is
goin' to be of any sorter Use
whatsomever. What We wants.
Hank, is a deluge that VIII DO
to date things from-One o.
them things you amt likely
to forget as soon as YOU 10
your PRAYERS, eh, Hank:
Yes l gasPs.
$50, says he, I'm goir %
force the company of a dozen
cartridges onto each balloon,
and if my tiggerin' IS worthy
of any mans conhdence We
oughter get a foot or tWl OF
rain in fifteen minutes
Pardner. | amt hanh.-in'
to pose as a human who "auld
lend his moral intluer to
anv such sinful actions his
same proposition OF lbs.
but, pardner, l am lin
to admit l didn't uject
strenuous, for thar air mes
in life when a mort 0eln'
feels less eXhilaratce han
when he's standin the
boundless plains OF q etul
AugustmOrnln watch me-
thin a little less tina ION
O dynamite knoCs -ed
chunks outcn the a rch
With the kind nee
of O,r brothers OF I
Corarass 5r
New-York tribune., 1905-12-24

dee-iust a little teeny idee, Hank but its sure
terrible with possibilities! I'll marry that gal OF II
blow this here Internal State into the Missouri River
'.'Tiberius, says l. now that certainly amt no
Christian spirit. Why that amt mentioned nowha-
in the Bible
# rain for forty davs and forty nights and
thar the biggest flood ye ever hearn on, Sa-.
wasn't thar2'
YES says I, thar sure was.
..sThen' saws he, that part of history IS g~.
to repeat itself, only the repeatin amt goin
consume over fifteen minutes Say, says he, Oh.
into the box and PAWN over them tweve-inch
iectiles, saw when have follered out my idae
the bitter end, thar amt no human goln to be
to savvy whar the Pacific Ocean ends and the 3
of Kansas begins
Now now Tiberus' begins 1, what Is
cause and occasion? Explain yourself, unless
want me to understand.
We'll saws he that old animated thu
storm, who the same is the Patterfamilar o
fair Pauline, is up to Colby and Pauline TIM
we oughter give him fair warnin she's writ
that she and me is goln to GIT married tom.
noon and we air Hank.
Well, says L, why don't ye:'
LISTEN says he. when he gets that
letter, say, we're due to see cloud of dust cor
down from the northeast and it'll be him. b
says he, thar amt gon to be no cloud, no da-
no HIM.
g. And why not?' says l.
Because says he, pickin' up couple Of the
wickedest 1ooBin Internal machines | ever had tlc
sudden shock of meetin', when l gifts through with
these here things thar amt gOn to be no rail-. id
track nor teegraft poles, nor highways, Ct Cet r. Tor
a hundred and fifty miles The high-water mark
is due to rise perceptible in this mejit vicinity nd
if the old man arrives in time to veto the ac-
Cupid, aided and abetted by quite some several
liberal allowances O nitroglycerin he'll sure have
to come in an air-ship or a man-o war
-. = '-~,y-
assurin', and l sw'ar l won't believe word YOU
say
We'll, them he explains, this here's Perfessor
Simms Drought Annhilator and Moisture Per
cipitator, Patent Applied for. When you want
rain says he, you send up these here balloons
with the big frecrackers hitched to EN-, and when
they gifts up to whar for all intents and purposes
the clouds oughter be, they goes off, bang! and
nature does the rest
"'O-o-h! says |, interested.
Now saws he referrin' to the directions if
sendin' up a dozen of EN- twelve minutes apart will
bring an inch of rain in twelve hours, then ele-
l,,.n+ -
New-York tribune., 1905-12-24
! b

wheat batter, ana SdNNlcu G'tI NY llINN
and brother was changed man. He beheld his
destiny starin at him like a poor relation and
marched forth to give it the glad hand
1T wasn't week till I sees him boundin across
the prairie, collidn with only the alt1toodlnouS
srots and sni1in' like debbvtante on Fifth Avenoo
Hank he wells through the environments of pull
verized alkali and bifurcated face, Hank aXed
her and she's willin?
90 And whens it to be?' says l encouragin'.
"'That says he, is just what I've been Won
derin' | sure don't like to start instruction
that might lead to international complications
but saws he thar air times in the course OF nhunan
events when feller-crtter is interered with IN his
pursuit of health wealth and happiness specially
happiness-and if that amt treason, 1t sure IS the
dscrminatin' circumstances O. justihable homicide
Now, amt it?
".Y-e-s,' says I, 'staggern' around in despret
attempt to grasp his meanin.
Its like this says he. Miss Paul1ne's dad
has way about him that isn't like anything ever
see before less it's Apache uprlsin
He has quite weigh, says |. Must be about
two hundred and fifty pounds amt it, Tiberius"
1.-Two hundred and ffty-fv in his bare existence,
saws he And his voice-honest, he certainly has
= voice that thar's no excuse for, whatsomever
If cyclone should come along when the old man
is touchn off that voice O. hs'n why say, that
same cyclone would just have to lay down and quit!
That's all thar is to it
But saws l, why didn't you tell him that
you're goin' to marry the gal general principles
He wouldn't think any more of you than he does
now
".That's just what I did try to do, the Lord
knows says he, and I'll gamble on it he hasn't
anv more idee what remarked than have myself
Say, it was just like havn' an oratorical contest
with naval engagement He Won
You see' he continues, Pauline Opines that 1t
wouldn't be any more than what the old man
deserved for us to tell him what was about to tram
spre within the very confines of his happy home
said we Oughter do it right away; that 1t didn't
make it any to put 1t ott till tomorrow when
we hated to do it to-day just as bad.
$50 takes her little fingers and my wasted hte
in nv hands, says he, and we goes scoutln for the
old man We finds him on the verandy putin at
a cigar which the could make more smoke on
short notice than anything writ about in the OId
Testvment. His cordality warns me like the north
end of the Aurora Boreas and shake till the goose
pimples wear holes in my shirt.
49," Sir" says l, maxim murderous assault on
the ruddy yments of the English language, me and
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-04-03
RAILROAD CASE Is
ARGUED IN BALT.
RUSSELL COUNTY WANTS $112,-
900 FROM THE SEABoARD AIR
LINE RAILROAD AND coNTINEN.
TAI TRUST COMPANY.

Washington. April 2.-(specal)-A inn
portant case was argued before Judge
Morris in the United States circuit court
In Baltimore yesterday. 1t was suit of
Russell county Alabama, against the Sea-
board Air Line railway and the Conti-
mental Trust company to recover $4,000
az a fee on the S75,O00,000 general mortgage
of the Seaboard, recorded in that county.
The Continental Trust company is trustee
oil this mortgage. There is also suit by
tho state of Alabama.
The fee charged is at the rate of Is
cents per hundred upon the whole mort
gage. The defendant corporations refuse
to pay this fee, on the ground that the
county or the state Of Alabama could col
lect 1t only upon that portion of the rail-
road which is within the boundaries of
the county or state, and that, as the
mortgage covers lines that run through
other states, the claim for the whole
amount is an unjust one
Edgar H. Cans of Cans & Haman rem
resented the plaintiff. and the defendants
were represented by James Byrne of
Hornblower, Byrne & Miller, New York: !:
Nicholas p, Bond of Bond, Robinson &,
DLffy of Baltimore. and Leigh r. Watts
of Portsmouth. general counsel for the
Seaboard Air Line. The argument was
concluded and Judge Morris took the case
under advisement
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-04-03
PRIEST BLESSED
SIMPLON TUNNEL
LONGEST TUNNEL IN THE WORLD
WAS iNAUGURATED YEsTER-
DAY WITH GREAT CEREMONIES.
KISSING AND EMBRACING.

Rome, April 1.-The Smplon tunnel, the
longest in the world, was inaugurated this
morning, when from the Swiss and Italian
sides the first trains passed through,
meeting at the center, where there was
the iron door which originally prevented
the overflow of a torrent of hot water.
and which was today opened for the first
time.
The weather at the entrance of the tun-
mel was spring-llke. though the sur
rounding mountains were covered with
snow, but once inside the temperature
became high, Engineer Brandau, who had
directed the work on the tunnel, conducted
the Italian train, which for part OF
the way was lighted by miners with Ian
terms. The train from the italian end was
the first to reach the iron door, but a
little later the train from the Swiss side
was heard on the other side Of the door.
There was brief time spent in commun'-
eating through the door by means Of
hammering, and finally the door was
knocked down amidst frantic applause
and cries of Long live Switzerland and
Long live Italy"
Bands played the Italian royal march
and the Swiss anthem, and the two par
ties embrased and kissed each other.
Engineer Brandau shook hands with
Engineer Rosemond, the director of the
work on the Swiss side, and the Italian
bishop, Noveara, embraced the Swiss
bishop. Sion. The latter then preached a
short sermon in the course OF which he
said:
1.-The church blesses progress"
In the name of God he blessed the tun-
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-04-03
WILLIAMS VIEWS
WORRYING RUSSIA
Bear Between Two Fires and il
is Hard to Choose
"MUSSULMAN TERROR"
Situation is Occupying Afternoon Of
the Russian Press to Exclusion
of the Peace Talk and
the War.
"MUSSULMAN TERROR"

st. Petersburg, April 3.-1:05 a. m.-Em.
peror Williams speech at Tangier and
prospective developments therefrom en-
gross the attention of the Russian news.
papers almost to the exclusion of peace
discussion. Her treaty relations witt
France and the friendly attitude of Ger.
many during the war places Russia In
an awkward position. Nevertheless the
difficulties of floating further loans In
France and the absence of assistance or
which unofficial Russia at least had va.
guely counted, incline the scales ssome-
what in favor of the western neighbor
whose benevolent neutrality and frontier
pledge enables Russia to place in the
field a Manchurian army so well sup
piled with artillery.
Decided pleasure is also expressed al
the rocks encountered by the new Anglo-
French entente.
The Russ terms the visit of the Ger
man Emperor at, Tangier a demonstra-
ton against the entente, and points out
that refLsal of Emperor William TO rec
o6Hi1S riencn prelenSlOnS most deeply
impress the Moroccans to the disadvan-
tage Of both France and Great Britain.
Repeatedly" the Russ says, "a group
ing of powers in western Europe has be-
gun, and perhaps we are on ghe eve OF
great developments in International af-
fairs"
The Novisti sees in the German EN-
peror's supposed pleasure trips to Jeru-
salem, Constantinople and Tangier a fixed
plan to uphold Turkey in Morocco and
create Mussulman peril" which Is
Germany's answer to Great Britain "yel-
low PERIL
The paper expressed the belief that it
will result in strengthening the bond be-
tween Great Britain and France, the em-
bitterment Of the feeling between France
and Germany and increased armaments,
but there is no possibility of war since
Berlin fully comprehends the madness of
conflict with Great Britain and France
allied.
In the discussion of peace prospects,
several papers refer to the Associated
Press dispatches which have been re-tel-
egraphed from New York, laying special
stress on the statement that the negotia-
tions were originated by Russia, but avoid
any extensive editorial comment.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-04-03
NO TROUBLE IN HAYTI.
Government Did No. Eject syrlans as
Was Expected.

Washington, April 2-Contrary to an
apprehension that existed In some quar-
ters that trouble might occur in Port au
Prince, Hayti, on Friday and Saturday,
a dispatch received at the state depart
ment today from American Minister
Powell. reports that affairs were quiet
there both days.
The syrians over whom 1t was thought
the trouble might occur, kept their stores
closed. April / was the day originally
fixed by the Haitian government for the
expulsion of the Syrians. but this period
later was extended to May 15 a fact It
Is suggested, OF which the general public
was not aware.
The cruiser Brooklyn, which was sent
to Port au Prince by the navy depart
ment when probability of trouble was
first discussed. has arrived there.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-04-03
WILL EXAMINE ALL
FOR CERTIFICATES
THE ANTHRACITE MINERS MUST
STAND ANOTHER EXAMINATION
AND GET NEW CERTIFICATES
IN PENNSYLVANIA.

Scranton. Pa, April 2.-chief Roderick
of the state bureau of mines has ordered
a re-examination Of the anthracite miners
to provide them with new certificates.
He had complained to the inspectors OF
the increasing ratio of mine accidents per
ton of coal mined, as shown by the last
annual reports. The inspectors replied that
Ii was not their fault and declared that
the blame lay in the fact that many min
ers who are grossly incompetent are In
possession of miners certificates, ana
therefore entitled to work In the mines.
This, coupled with the fact that there
have boen many disclosures recently or
miners securing certificates by fraud,
prompted the chief to order that all MIN
ers must undergo a new examination.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-04-03
FOUR ARE KILLED IN A
WRECK ON SOUTHERN

Branchville, S. c., April 2-Aa a result
of a serious wreck on this division of the
Southern railway today, few miles be-
low Branehville. near small lumber
station called Badham, four persons are
dead. The through freight from Columbia
to Charleston, and the fast passenger
train from Charleston to Columbia, col
Iided at Badham There was very dense
fog at the time. 1t is asserted that Freight
Engineer Reeds watch was thirty minutes
slow, and that this was the direct cause
of the wreck The known dead:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-04-03
NORTH GETS TASTE OF
NEGRO OFFICE HOLDER

Washington, April 2.-(special) )-Accord-
ing to reports from New York, the race
question is receiving some agitation there
since the appointment Of the negro, c.
w. Anderson, to the internal revenue
collectorship.
In the past he has been modest, re-
firing worker taking his reward in the
increments of office and not obtruding
himself Since his recent appointment,
however, Anderson has made himself
very conspicuous in all republican gath
erings. The Fifth avenue hotel is the
Mecca of all New York republicans, and
the cafe of the hotel finds the most noted
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-04-03
FIRE ON BOARD.
Cotton Burned on Mallory Line Steam.
er Lampssas.

Galveston. Tex, April 2.-rhe Mallory
line steamer Lampasas, which sailed
frcm this port Friday afternoon, return
cd to her wharf this morning with fire
in the cotton in the main hold. Today
a crew of men were busy taking the cot
ton out and after count it was learned
that sixty bales were badly charred. 1t
was impossible to arrive at the amount
Of damage but Monday the vessel will
be surveyed and the damage to the cargo
estimated.
The cause of the fire is unknown. Ac-
cording TO Captain Staples the fire was
discovered after the vessel had been fif-
teen hours at sea. As soon as discovered
a stream was turned into the hold the
vessel put back for Galveston, arriving
at her dock at O'Clock this morning.
With the exception of warped deck the
vessel is uninjured and 1t Is presumed
she will make another start for New
York some time Monday.
Donated Big Sum.
New York, April Ralph Voorhees, Of
New Jersey has donated 100000 TO the
American Tract society.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-04-03
JOCKEY WoNDERLY DEAD.
Skull Was Fractured While Riding
Saturday at Memphis.

Memphis April 2-Jockey Otto Won
DERBY, who was thrown from a horse at
the race track yesterday, died tonight af-
ter an operation in a local hospital The
young mans skull was fractured and a
blood clot developed on the brain.
Wonderly was widely known in turf cir
cles, having ridden for some of the most
prominent stables OF the country. includ-
ing those of Mayor Fleischman of Gin
cinnati and M. III. Tichenor e Co. of Chi
cago. He just completed a successful sea-
son at Hot Springs and was riding as a
free lance" at the Memphis meeting
The body will be shipped to London,
Ontario. for burial
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-04-03
PRECAUTIONS TAKEN.
Mexico Will Prevent Any Advance in
Exchange on New System.

Mexico City, April 2.-Precautions have
been taken by the government and the
large banks to prevent sharp rise in
exchange as the result of the speculative
movement believed to have been planned
to take place just as the new monetary
system goes into effect. That something
of the sort would be attempted was fore
seen some months ago.
1t is said that there has been extern
sive buying of exchange at the present
low rate In ..e hope of a sharp advance.
One of the largest banks has refused to
sell exchange to brokers and private
bankers, and has merely met the needs
of commercial houses. 1t IS the purpose
of the government to make the transit
tion to the new system as early as pos
sible.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-04-03
JAP ARMY GOING
TO VLAD|VOSTOK
Reports Say laps. Are Turning
Before Russian Front
FIVE ARMIES ARE MOVING
Everything Quiet at cunshu Pass and
the Situation There is un.
hanged-Skirmlsh-
Ing is Constant.
FIVE ARMIES ARE MOVING

Gunshu Pass Is miles north of Tie Pass
April 2--The situation here is unchanged.
General Mistchenko has moved forward
into close touch with the japanese, and
keeps up constant skirmishing Else
where everything is quiet
General Mistehenko when he learned OF
the beginning of the panic during the re-
treat from Mukden, though an unhealed
wound forbade his walking, drove In a
carriage to his force and assumed COM
mand, which he has since retained, though
he is unable to ride over the deply mired
roads, which are beginning to dry.
Japs to VladivostoI.
Native reports, which may be taken for
what they are worth. state that the Japa-
nese are turning before the Russian front.
leaving a screen of cavalry, with the
help of the Mukden and Tie Pass fortif-
cations, and garrisons, in order to hold
In check General Linevitch. They are
transferring the bulk of their five armies
to vladivostok and by means OF a wide
movement through Mongolia to Tstsiher.
Considering the great distances involved,
impracticable, to be successful, but Japa-
nese intoxication from continued victory.
bold initiative, and determined persever-
ance, must be regarded. The situation af-
fords an opportunity for Russian cavalry
which thus far has played an Insignificant
role to distinguish itself by ascertaining
the Japanese intentions.
To Resume Drills.
General Linevitch has ordered the re-
sumption of drills, keeping the soldiers
occupied In the day time, and band music
In the bivouacs at night. Energetic re-
gime is being instituted. The soldiers are
much attached to the new commander
on account of his simple, soldierly style
of living.
Reports that Berri-Beri has been pre-
valent among the Russian troops at any
time are unfounded. No case has been
reported.
The army is being resupplied with equip
ment for the simmer, which the officers
especially need, several regiments during
the retreat having thrown away all the
officers baggage.