The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1905-12-27

u lAdy OF her age she stopped sel2eu
the Fetch, a metal boot sip, and oalm-
ly flung il over her left shoulder, where
II struck In the eye an unotfending
clergyman, causing him to utter howl
Of rage and pain.
THAT woman IL mad. be exclaimed,
| In loud tones which at once attracted
the attention OF The passefs-by she
| Deliberately hurled in my face a mis-
SHE OF some hind. which may cause
serious mischief She should certainly
not he permitted al large. Police
man, as bully guardian OF the
peace approached. Il must ask your
protection from this ferocoas female
who has just assaulted me.
The man il mad himself, said
Aunt Maria, Indignantly. Il never as
saulted anyone in my life, am a
widow lady, Mrs, smith Brown-jones.
Here is my card.
My aunt's commanding and stately
appearance evidently impressed the
policeman, for he suggested TO the
parson he must have been mistaken.
After this episode Aunt Maria's feel
ings required sustaining by good
lunch at Shanley's where she recovered
sufficiently TO sharply reprimand the
waiter for crossing the knives, thereby
leaving a loophole for the demons OF
ill-luck and inadvertently spilling The
salt she again hurled some over her
left shoulder, which powdered the coat
of smart Old gentleman Just passing.
Leaving the restaurant she darted
Rimbly iuto the road in preference to
walking under a ladder, and | 10 save
her from being run over by . cabhy
who could not pull up in time, had to
seize his horse by the head and swing
II half round.
Later unluckily caught sight OF
he new moon aud commented on the
tact 0 my aunt
ooh where. where? she cried anx
iously. and catching sight Of the pale
crescent she at once commenced an ex
.raordlinary series Of genufiections, re-
neating as she did so in loud tones:
Bonnie lady moon, will you send me
PRESENT."
Now the spectacle of a stout elderly
lady in crowded thoroughfare bob
Ding soemnly up and down is bound
% cause considerable comment, and !
my ears tingled as murmurS of. /
Quite a well-dressed woman how
shocking +How awful for her son.
suppose He almost looks like gen,
.leman. rose On all sides Of me.
For heavens sake. Aunt Maria, /
,rled In despair as she Strengthened I
4er5elf and commenced solemnly to /
arm over all the coins in her purse, /
come along, don't you see half New |
York is watching your devotional ex-
,rcises?'
What nonsense you talk, Arthur,
aid Aunt Maria, placidly. IF you I
urn your money you will never want T
or il all thai moon. What pity you
iidn't think oil IT,
One lunatic in the family -
enough. multered as | hustled Aunt
Maria through the crowd.
We reached my aunt's house without
urther excitement
In front Of the house holding ON to
/ lamp-post and chanting TO himself Id
raucous voice. Il am the bee" was
In inebriated ash man. Upon catching
iiehi Of him A-nt Maria Mortified me
jy kissing her hands to him Happen.
ng 70 look our way at the moment he
ct 20 the lamp-p post and hurled him.
EFF m our direction. and the next sec.
md | was locked in his sooty embrace
After a protracted struggle | succeeded
II freeing myself al the cost OF a torn
.oat. Aunt Maria had made good her
ctreal into the house. where, boiling
With rage. | followed to be greeted in
he hall with oh, Arthur, how ex
remedy lucky to be sure. To kiss your
hand to an ashman always brings
uck."
II was he last straw. Will draw a
ell over the scene that followed;
unice Il 90 say on Saturday morning
received a no; in the third person
a check for the money she
ad borrowed. emitting the odd change
ad~ssa,ing after my disgraceful con
uct Aunt Maria hoped never TO see
De again
Tho fayorite nephew now IS my
ousin. William Brown, And hear
hat aa Little Fancy shares in which
he IS interested went mp the day
fer our trim She f. now a greater daF.