Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1905-09-02
W. (,hsHE.S
A,IL 49,
x.2a7zaINs&> / 0N
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The Old Story.-"But, papa. he says
he can't live without me-" Give us n
new one; told that same story to
ycur mother
The Automobile Fright Sidney
Why don't You talk as we ride? Rod
ncy-Well. l can't think with my
hair standing on end
No Escapc.-Bell Boy Outside nf
toom 15l-Say, the gas is escaping in
,Lere. Countryman inside of room
|o'--No, II amt; l locked the door.
\ Nacuum.-A pupil in Lynn
tMaSSD school was asked by his teacher
to give the definition of vacuum
Il can't Just describe it" said he, but
l have it in my head
Wanted a Circus.-The Chnd-Are
you the trained nurse mamma said
W"s coming? The Nurseries, dear;
IA the trained nurse. The Child-Let's
see some of your tricks.
Those Foreigners (after
careful examination)-Som foreign
substance is lodged in your eye. Den
nt>-pi knowed ut, Thots what O.
III t'r wurrukin' wild them Dagoes!
She Whistes-An Irishman asked
4 Scotchman one day why railway
engine was called she" Sandy re-
piled; Perhaps it's on account of the
horrible noise 1t makes when IL tries
10 WHISTLE
There She Blows!"-On the voyage
a school of whales was sighted, and
tic millionaire plumber rubbed his
hands in ecstasy, ~ ny is he so
iappy:' asked passenger Because"
whispered the captain, "he imagiues
each spout is a bursted water-pipe, to
he repaired at regular rates"
What He Hurt.--A well-known
Judge fell down flight of stairs, re-
colGing his passage by a bump on
& cry step until ne reached the bot
tom a servant ran to his assistance,
ana. raising him up. said: II hope
YOUR honor is not hurtF' NO" said
the Judge, sternly, my honor is nos
hurt but my head is
Not wondcrful,-l pointed out to
rcwly arrived Paddy the grandeur Of
the Niagara, with the words. There.
now Isn't il wondrrfult" "Wonther-
fur" replicdrat, what's woutherfulT'
why, to see all that water come
laundering over those rocksW "OI
can't see anything WONDERFUL in that
l,t, -
Ing ovcrf"
Goals TO Newcastle Wife What is
aeant. John, by the phrase, carrying
Goals 80 NcwcastlcT Ilushand-It is
a metaphor, my dear, showing the do
ing of something That is unnecessary.
Wife, don't exactly understand Give
me an illustratou--a familiar one
| IIusband--Well. If / were TO bring you
home n book entitled How to Talk.
that would he carrying Goals to New
castle.
The Way out Of It--When preaching
fer a public charity. note was hand
ed up to the clergyman, asking If it
would be right for bankrupt TO con
contribution would be robbery, the
speaker added; And, my brethren,
would most strongly advise you, who
are not insolvent. TO contribute this
r,orninE, since, If you are seen TO pass
the plate, your neghbors viii be sure
to gay. That's he! That's the bank
rupt"
lie Waited. Surprising you wait
here la this comfortable seat by the
elevator while match these two sam
pies of ribbon" said Mrs Mayfair
swcetly to her husband, who had been
cutrapped into going shopping with
her When she came back she said
coutritcly Have | kept you waiting
mn uuparlonably long time you poor
dcarf' "Oh. | haven't minded IT,"
hc said. chccrfully II just jumped on
"a ear and ran ont 10 the league grounds
nud SAW most of the ball game, and
then took little spin IN the park
with Dorton I'm his new auto. Did
You match the samples" One Of
them It's so provoking. III have TO
come In again TO morrow, for they are