Evening journal., 1905-03-10
SHORT STORIES
OF INTEREST
Advice for the Bin Clerk.

The Dill clerk leaned MS cneek upon
his palm and sroaned dismally. The
cashier looked over at him and raised
his eyebrows. Cheer up, Billy" he
said. 1T may be only rumor."
What may be?" growled the bill
clerk.
Whatever it is" returned the cash
ier. IF IT isn't bad news it's some
thing that has happened or is going
TO happen. You should never let either
affect your cheerfulness. Let the dead
past bury its dead and let the future
take care OF itself. Remember that you
are living in the present and at the
present time you are i'm a well-llghted,
ventilated and warmed office, sitting
upon a nicely vanished high stool and
enjoying the advantages Of highly
polished society. Cultivate a philoso-
phical frame of mind. I'll help you"
Il wish you'd haul in some OF your
slack and let me alone" said the bill
clerk.
III you mean that you have no de-
sire to listen to improving converse
ton / shall respect your Wishes" said
the cashier. Il force my discourse on
no man. When 1 talk people usually
hang upon my wonds, charmed and
delighted, but / shall certainly not ad-
dress another word to you under the
circumstances. wish you to under
stand that 1 feel myself insulted."
Keep right on feeling that way"
said the bill clerk. I didn't know you
could"
AT the same time 1 don't wish to
be hasty," said the cashier, sweetly.
IF by a few well-chosen remarks 1
oan in any way alleviate your distress
of mind I might just as well make a
few as not. II isn't as II / were short
OF material. / suppose the girl has
been giving You what's coming to you.
)If that's the case, forget 1t. There are
others, IL the worst comes to the worst
and some OF them may overlook your
appearance and manners and habits 50
far as to let you tag along after them,
If it's the landlady again tell her she
Twill Nave 70 wait. She won't fire you
She's too tender-hearted for that, OF
she'd have done it long ago. She may
need the money to square up with the
grocer, but you've got to have your
little amusements and she won't know
the difference a hundred years from
now. If you put your money on tn,
wrong horse, reflect that the best oi
Ius have been deceived and don't be
discouraged. Keep on trying. Prac.
ltice self-denial and put aside something
out of each weeks wages, for a stake tC
play a long shot. Some of these days
you may strike the right one and ther
you can have the dickens own gooC
time-if you don't happen to lose al
you won on the next race. Hope ever
hope on, Johnny"
"Oh, cut IL out! said the bill clerk
I'm not fOoling YOU" asserted tbs
cashier. I've known men who playe(
1.-The races. In my younger days I play
ed them myself in a modest way. True
1 never happened to win anything {,
speak OF, but somebody has to win
and why not you? These sporting
gentlemen I speak OF wore diamont
horseshoe pins and patronized expen
sive tailors. They called the most un
ppfoachable-looking bartenders b.
their first names and showed every evl
dence of prosperity. They were tn
ones who gave me my tips, too, so
suppose they must have lost when
did, but they must have won some
times"
The bill clerk gnoaned again.
"Tell me what's your trouble
Johnny" pleaded the cashier.
''rooth's just jumping" said the bill
clerk, pushing back his stool and pull
! Iing out his pocket handkerchief.
We'll well, that's too badl" said tn
2 cashier, sympathetically. Il don
! know what to recommend in that cas-
unless YOU take that dope sheet tina
= you just put in your breast pocket an
r apply 1t to the seat of pain. Johnn,
the only fellows who lose on the race
are the suckers. Quit being a sucke
B and you will win out all right"
y why didn't you quit being a suck
\ er?" asked the bill clerk, with a guilt
grin.
II did" responded the cashier.
quit playing the races"