davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

Knicker-Does Jones know anything of
Instrumental music?
Bocker-No. he thinks he can play the
fool with the soft pedal.-Exchange.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

The Meaning of HyperboIe.

'sHyperbole," said the Rev. russell n.
Conwell to a Temple college student,
means exaggeration. A country min
lister of a sarcastic turn once explained
hyperbole to his congregation quantity.
"He looked down from the pulpit over
his spectacles, and said:
Now, my friends, some of you may
not understand the word hyperbolical.
I'll explain it, Suppose should say this
congregation was all asleep. That would
be speaking hyperbolically, for dont
believe that more than half of you are
sleeping Los Angeles Times.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

my daughter" said Nexdore, ''is quite
familiar with all the classical composers.
why. she's positively fiippant. ."-Phiiadel-
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

King Alfonso ran down and killed a
poor little Spanish donkey the other day.
We'd like to see King Alfonso run down
and kill Georgia mule In good rear work
ing order.-Atlanta Constitution.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

A woman's clothes are fine thing to
give a man idea of how much there is
in the world he can never understand
Burlington Evening Gazette.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

s''Here, take this rife.,,- cried the excited
Snowman; the leopard has escaped II
you find him shoot him on the spot
(Which s-spot, sir?" gasped the green
employee.-Exchange
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

Deacon Jones-In the better land every.
thing will be made known.
Mrs. Prye-Wont that be f1nei I've al
ways wondered how old Sarah Wilson
waS.-BoSton Transcript.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

Don't you think her husband Is natur-
rally gentle, patient man7"
Sometimes think he Is and sometimes
I think she's got him scared. Houston
Post.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

Sunday School Teacher-Wouldn't you
like to dwell in heaven, Johnny?
Johnny-No, ma am. We've moved three
times already this year and I'm getting
tired of helpin' pack up.-Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

When an auto car can make a hit. ply
sicians get busy.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

"But, Bertie,'' said his mother, ''you ask
ed me for two cakes and I gave them to
you. Aren't you satisfied"
mo, 1 amt growled BERTHE. ''You was
so easy I'm kickin meself now cause I
didn't ask fur four. r."-PhiladeIphia Press.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

And" said the chief of the Census Bu-
reau to the enumerator, be sure to make
the women tell their age"
Look here" grasped the field worker,
do you think I'd be holding this kind of
a job If 1 could perform miracles ?''-Port-
land (Ore.) Telegram.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

what do you think of his singing?"
81 think he would be foolish to sue 3
musical critic for libel. brooklyn Life.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

PEARL suffered him to steal kiss last
night.
Ruby-The nerve! And did you call
your mamma?
Pearl-No. I am brave. I suffered in ST.
lence.-Chica=o News
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

Money makes the mare 60"
'It can't always makeHthe automobile
run, though. Town and Country.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

Mrs. Newlywed (to her friend)-Mary. /
want to ask you a question. The other
day missed Jacks watch and he said his
uncle had 1t: this morning his diamond pin
was missing and he said his uncle had
that Now. has your husband an uncle
who gets all of his things?
Her Friend Ia woman who knows a
thing or two)-No, dear; my husbands 8
ante does it for him.-Detroit Free Press.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

MI wise-My brother particularly re-
quested that you should sing at his fu-
neral
Mrs. Screecher-why did he want me to
sing?
Mr. Wise-So everybody would feel sorry
he was dead, I guess.-Exchange.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

t.For goodness sake! What's that noise?'
THE girl next door is having her voice
cultivated"
Huh! Apparently the process of culti-
walton has reached the narrowing season
-Phiia delpfia Press.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-18

can get money only by earning 1t. The
other ways are bringing all our institu-
tions perilously near destruction.-
Baltimore American.
THE NAUGHTY BRICKLAYER.
The lawyer and the doctor work for
fees and the brick mason for wages.
And it often happens that the wages
amount to more than the fees.-Nash-
vile American.
CONSCIENCE OR COTTON.
We wish we might say that the Chi
nese boycott had touched the con-
science of Americans. AS a matter of
! fact, 1t is only their cotton that has
been touch.-Philadelphi Record.
AN INQUIRY.
What has become of our old friend,
the kissing bug? He emigrated, ap-
parently, about the same time that
Hobson made his land cruise.-Los
Angeles Express.
THE PROBLEM.
Japan might tell more easily how
much indemnity to exact If it knew
| just how much Russia could raise
Chicago News.
LIKE STOPPING TOO QUICK.
While Engineer Wallace had decided
to resign. he had no idea how fast he
was going to do it-Chicago News.
| HADLEY'S WARNING.
If a few of the Yale '05 men turn
out bad they can charge it up to Presi-
dent Hadley. His baccalaureate warn
ing was against the danger of being
too good.-New York Commercial.
| JOHN DIS ARTF'DLNESS.
| Artfully taking advantage of the
prevailing excitement Mr.. Rockefeller
slips ten millions into the general
educational fund and makes his get
away in safety.-Chicago Tribune.
%
CHANGED HIS MIND.
| Weyler as Spanish minister of war
| You rem menaber Weyler. of course. He's
the eminent soldier who changed his
mind about invading this country with
conquering army some years ago
Indianapolis News.
| A MEASURE OF PROGRESS.
Civilization is progressing IN the
Philippines, although at last reports
| the 1gorrotes had not yet been taught
to wear uspenders.-Washing Star.
SWINDLING.
1.-THE madness of inordinate busf-
| ness scheming'' is what Grover Cleve-
| land calls it. But there is shorter
and less Clevelandesque name for it
u Ta@ rWF TIT rH----
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30
Run over By a Cow.

Mrs. +. Il. Sanders who nves In the
country near here, was run over and
painfully injured by a COW on West
Main street, The COW was being
driven by two boys who were run
ming the animal when the accident
happened but rode out of town driv.
ing the COW in a run. Mrs. Sanders
was taken to the grocery store oI
Hoffman a. Hunt, which was near
by and medical aid was summoned
and her injuries attended to. After
examination her injuries were pro
nounced not fatal although they are
very painful The boys were not
known by any one who saw them.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30
DIR. Caldwell'S
tLaSatigel
Syrup PepSin

Everybodykuowsthat PEPSIN isgood
for the stomach, but in combination with
certain plant drugs 10y DR.. CALD-
WELLS formula, its natural value
is highly increased.
DIR. .CALDWELL'S SYRUP PEPSIN
is the best thing in the world for cor
recting and curing all forms of stomach
trouble You'll say so when you try il.
DR.. CALDWELL'S SYRUP PEPSIN
can be obtained in both dollar and half
dollar sizes at all druggists, and your
money will be refunded il it fails to
benefit you
Your postal csrd request will bring by return
mail our new booklet, "DR. CALDWELL'S
BOOK or WONDERS" and free sample TO
those who have never tried this wonderful
remedy. Mall your postal today
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30
New Wholesale Firm.

VIII Whiteman OF Chickasha and
Sam Horne of this city will on De
cember 1 open up in the former
whiteman Bros Co. building on the
Santa Fe tracks wholesale stock of
considerable magnitude. They will
carry in stock general line of pro
duce, provisions and commissions.
MIR. Horne and Mr.. Whitelan were
both members Of the Whiteman Bros.
Co. Mr. Horne was manager of the
Ardmore house and Mr.. Whiteman
Of the Chickasha house. Both Of
these men are thorough business
gentlemen they are acquainted with
the trade and both men are popular
with the merchants. They will do n
good business from the day they
start
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30
m Thank the Lord a"

cried Hannah Plant OF Little Rock,
Ark. "for the relief got from Buck
lens Arnica Salve 1t cured my fear
full running sores, which nothing else
would heal and from which ! had
suffered tur years" II is n marvel
ous healer for cuts, burns and
wounds. Guaranteed at w y. Frames
drug store; 25c.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30
Chance OF Method.

On and after Dec. l. 1905, We will
sell groceries and feed for cash only.
BY doing so we can make it 10 the
advantage of everybody to trade at
our store, Spot cash means low
prices, and we always keep a good
fresh stock We feel that our old Gus.
toners will stay with us and that we
will add others who want to buy for
less money. Respectfully.
26-5 L4ANDRUM BROS.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30

The Ladies' Aid Society OF South
Ardmore will give a box supper at the
residence of Mrs. Pitman. on Carter
Avenue, Thanksgiving evening. the
proceeds to be used Oh the parsonage.
Everybody Is invited TO attend. 26.5
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30

You can apply ManZan inside, right
where the paih is. II Is put up in
|ollapsihle tubes with nozzle attach
ment for introducing II. ManZan stops
pain instantly and cures all kinds of
blind. bleeding. itching and protruding
piles. Sold by City Drug Store.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30

News has been received In this city
informing the friends of ]. NJ. Davis
Of his death at El Paso, Texas. Mr..
Davis was formerly resident of this
city and was we'll known here, hav-
ing been in business here some time.
He left here several months ago and
went to Mexico for his health ana
had only been in FL Paso short
while when he met death.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30
Babes In ToyIand. :"

Mr.. Arthur G.. Williams, business
manager for Hamln & Mltchells
gorgeous musical production, "Babes
in Toyland," arrived in the city to
day. Mr.. Williams Is here to ar
range for the presentation OF this
beautiful extravaganza at the Robi
son opera house Wednesday evening.
December 8.
The organization numbers seventy
people and is possibly the largest
company en- tour. travelling almost ex-
clusiyely by special train. The regu.
lar home orchestra will be augment
ed by seven especially selected musi-
clans carried by the company
Babes in Toyland' Is one OF the
few big successes of the year. II
was first produced season before last
at Majestic theater, Now York. and
proved the greatest hit New York
had seen for years. II ran for $50
consecutive nights
The llbretto is by Glen McDonough.
Victor Herbert wrote the music and
Julian Mitchell reached the very
pinacle or his fame when his clever
brain conceived the production 30
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30
Hlah School MinstreIs Touring.

The High School Minstrels went TO
Wynnewood today where they will
play in the Wynnewood opera house
tonight The minstrels made n sue
cess here and the managers are OF
the opinion that they will meet with
the same at that place. They go on
a guarantee. They will afford a pleas
ant entertainment for the people at
Wynnewood this evening.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30
CITlzENsHip.

II you claim citizenship rights and
are not ON the rolls or have business
before the interior department, write
to W W. Wright, regis
tered attorney, Corcoran building.
ID. c. "a
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30
Attention, X. Of P's.

Regular convention tonight with
work of Esquire and knight. Each
officer must be present as well as
members OF team work in rank OF
Knight. Nominations for officers
will be taken up and a full attend
ance is urged. Visiting Knights are
welcomed ED HOFFMAN,
Acting S. c.
G. G. WATKINS, X. of r. & s.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30

A postoffice inspector has decided
that Tulsa's streets and Sidewalks
are now in sufficient good condition
to warrant the establishment OF mail
carriers in that town, and will so
recommend to the department at
Washington.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30

For long term loans on the surplus
Sllotments of inter-married citizens,
write the American Investment Co,
Atoks, l. T.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30

When eggs are high is when you
want your hens to lay. We have n
poultry food that will make your
hens prolific.
26 +. ]. RAMSEY, Druggist.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30

II is some consolation to a youth
when a girl refuses him on the in.
stallment plan. It's the instantaneous
process that hurts.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30
L. d. MASON

Has the stoves and furniture. The
prices are small and the stoves are
big. 800 Main 14-1m
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30

For loans on city property see II.
Fred Snlder. 71S West Main. lin
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30

Secondhand sewing machines fom
s. to $50. Every one guaranteed =
Singer Sewing Machine office i9-Im
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30

New winter goods ready for your Sc.
lection at Stolfa's. the tailor 30-1m
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30

In the world to YOU II YOU took tho
right kind of caro- Of them, you wouldn't
suffer, but you don't.
The only wayyou can correct the trout
bic you do have and prevent these parts
from getting out OF order is TO use
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30
BIG CROP OF COTTON

at Ardmore. Stoves, stoves at any price
new and second hand S03 Main. J.
ID. Mason. 14-1m
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30

Have you tried Eds snow fake
cream bread and snow flake mother s
bread? II not. call for Il. Have Eds
wagon to stop.
900 EDS BAKERY.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30
PEPsIN SYRUP CO.
hiontIoello, Illinois
Corruuated Iron

Corruuated Iron.
W. carry in stock corrugated iron
in all lengths.
BIvBNS. CoRHN & FRENSLY.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30
WANT COLUMN ,
wAErLo.

WANTED--To sell nice calm buggy
animal single or double driver; al
so good saddle Address J. +.
Nicely. Box 3lS. zg-l2
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30

FOR SALE-A new No. 5, oliver type
writer cheap. Apply this Office. II
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-11-30
STOMACH ACHE

4 on ndNo
more or less
trouble with
your ston-
ac h, your
bowels aud
your liver
everybody
does. And
when theso
delicate and
easily-dis-
ordered orr
gans do get
outoforder,
they are tho
worst things
Warren sheaf., 1905-03-23
NOTICE OF SALE IN DITCH PROCEED
TNGC
Sole OF DitcNinG Jobs.

Notice is hereby given. That on the 10th day
Of April, 1908. at One o'clacil P. NJ. at City of
Warren in the County Auditors Office. Mar
shall County, Mimi: will sell the Jobs of dig
ging and constructing the Ditch No. 10 of Mar
shall County. established by the Board of
County Commissioners of Marshall County.
State OF Minnesota. by their order bearing
date January 18th. 1868. viz; All in one Job or
in sections of leo feet each. each of said Sec
tons to be known and numbered by stakes as
Shown by the report Of the Engineer in said
matter, commencing at the one including the
outlet, and from thence. successively up
stream to the one including the source.
Bidders shall state price per cubic yard of
eXcavating which shall be in full for all labor
and material required for the complete execu-
ton of the work, and will be let to the lowest
responsible bidder or bidders. and that bids are
invited for said work: said work to be COM
pleted within the time required. and in the
manner specified. in said Engineers report
And no bids will be entertained which exceeds
and above the estimated cost of the
in the said order; and the S Successful ssHI
bidder will be required to give satisfactory
County, with two freehold sureties. for the
faithful performance and fulfllment of his
contract, and to pay all damages that may
accrue by reason of his failure to complete
the job within the time required in the con-
contract. The said order and estimates and
flee >'''~' ''
AL bids must be accompanied by a certified
check payable to the Auditor of said County,
for not less than ten per cent of the amount of
each bid.
The right to reject any and all bids is hereby
reserved.
lsEALJ County Auditor. Marshall
County, State of Min
nesOta
Warren sheaf., 1905-03-23

The NOLAN reciprocal demurrage
bill, which has already passed the
house, and is now before the senate.
is a measure which gives the ship
per the same right to insist upon
compliance with a demand for cars,
or for the moving of cars after be-
ing loaded, as the railroads now en-
Joy in charging for failure to
promptly load or unload cars. At
terminal points any railroad COM
pany must furnish cars upon, re-
quest OF shipper within 48 hours.
and at places not terminal points,
within 72 hours, Sundays and legal
holidays excepted. The bill also
provides for the movement of cars
toward destination within "a hours
after being loaded, and imposes a
demurrage charge against the com
pany OF one dollar per car for each
"a hours delay. Failure of shipper
to load or unload cars within the
specified time imposes upon shipper
Warren sheaf., 1905-03-23

a demurrage charge of one dollar
per car for every "a hours delay.
Other provisions are also embodied
in the act safeguarding the rights
Of both shipper and carrier. That
no injustice shall be done to any
party, the Railroad and Warehouse
Commission shall have power on it's
own motion, or upon petition, to re-
scind the operation of the act for a
definite time not exceeding go days.
1t seems to . us that the meas
ure is a just and equitable one, to
both parties concerned, and ought
to pass. For years the railroads of
this country have attempted to mar
row, by conditions in bills of lad
ing, their common law liabilities,
and have enforced arbitrary demur-
rage regulations against shippers.
This law will place shippers,
receiver and common carrier on
level, allowing to each reasonable
time for doing the required work,
and imposing penalty for failure
to do this work.
Warren sheaf., 1905-03-23

ACCORDING to the report Of legis-
lative doings in the daily papers,
representative Ekman was absent
when the vote on the Nolan recipro-
cal demnrrage bill was taken in the
house. AS this measure is the most
important railroad legislation in be-
half of the people considered at this
session, and one in which many of
his constituents, both farmers and
business men, is interested in, his
failure to record his vote certainly
calls for an explanation.
Warren sheaf., 1905-03-23

In his ST. Patrick's day address
President Roosevelt after paying a
glowing tribute to Irishmen part
in Americas development, took oc-
casiOn to remind his hearers that no
matter from what old-world country
they themselves Or their forefathers
have come, the great thing to re-
member was that we are all of US
Americans, and that while we keep
our pride in the stocks from which
we have sprung, we should ali join
in a generous rivalry to see which
can do most for our great common
country.
"Americanism,' said the presi-
dent, "is not a matter of creed, or
birthplace, or descent That man
is the best American, who has in
the American spirit, the American
soul. Such a man fears not the
strong and harms not the weak. He
scOrns what is base or cruel or dis
honest. He looks beyond the acci-
dents of occupation or social condi-
tions and halls each of his fellow
citizens as his brother, asking moth
ing save that each shall treat the
other on his worth as man, and
that they shall join together to do
all that in them lies for the uplifting
of this mighty and vigorous
people.
Warren sheaf., 1905-03-23

FORMER Judge Ives, of this dis
trict, is well posted on Russian af-
fairs, having visited that country
in 1897, and has been confident from
the start that Japan would win this
war. 1.-THE Japanese he says
are fighting for their homes and
firesides; the Russians are fighting
for a cent and half a day, and
enough of the necessities of life to
keep the vital spark from going out.
Warren sheaf., 1905-03-23
WASHINGTON WAS
A SCANDINAVIAN"
Rev. J. N. Lenker Presents Array
of Proof-Ancestors Came
From Washkeby.

Together with his other attributes
George Washington should be first
in the Hearts of the Scandinavians.
says Rev. J. N. Lenker, D. D.. who
further AYERS that the Father of his
Country was direct descendant of
King Odin, the guardian spirit of
the early Norsemen.
'The facts are undisputable,"
said DR.. Lenker, and if anyone
should seek to deny them without
investigation he would merely show
himself to be ignorantof geneaology.
In fact, geneaology is a science of
which the American people are woe
fully ignorant. How many people
living in Boston or New York could
tell what the derivations of those
names are? Yet, New York is a
Scandinavian word. I do not seek
to prove that Washington was de-
scended from Scandinavian ancestry
from patriotic motives, as I am not
a Scandinavian. My mothers an
cestry was Scotch-I Irish and my
fathers was Pennsylvania German.
/ am interested from scientific mo-
tives.. At one time I made some re-
searches in the Boston public
library and was associated with
Warren sheaf., 1905-03-23

Alfred Wells, the noted geneaolo-
gist. Mr.. Wells has written 300
page book about Washington's an
cestry. Unfortunately the book is
now out of print, as it has been
much sought after by scholars.
Starting with Mr.. Wells work, I
have myself pursued the subject.
OF course to go into the matter to
bring out the fine details of proof
would take too much time.
Briefly, Washington's ancestors
came from the Northland to the east
coast of England, probably in the
third or fourth invasion. They SET
tied about eight miles north of the
present city of Richmond, in York
county. At the foot Of a bluff there
is quiet pool. There the women
of the colony washed their clothes.
The place assumed the name of
Washkeby, was meaning wash,
'ke' being the connective, and by
the town. Later the by was
changed by the Saxons into town.,
which has been contracted into
ton The town is now called Rab-
binsworth, the name having been
chanped some cent,lrieS aUO Tho
family of Washington assumed their
name from the place, just as the Nc
Neils of Scotland, and the Nelson's
of Norway, took their name from
Nell.
I'm Mr.. Wells work the entire
geneaology is traced and it is a
wonder to me that the Scandinavians
have not made more of the fact. -
Minneapolis Journal.
Warren sheaf., 1905-03-23
The COlOnel's Waterloo.

Colonel John M. Fuller, of Honey
Grove, Texas, nearly methis Water
loo, from Liver and Kidney trouble.
In recent letter, he says: I was
nearly dead, of these complaints,
and, although tried my family
doctor, he did me no good; so I got
a SOC bottle of your great Electric
Bitters, which cured me. I con-
slider them the best medicine on
earth, and thank God who gave you
the knowledge to make them" Sold,
and guaranteed to cure, Dyspepsia,
Biliousness and Kidney Disease, by
E. F. Whitney, druggist, at SOC a
bottle.