The San Francisco call., 1905-03-10
SOME GOOD EXAMPLES
OF THE BRITISH WIT
Quick Repartee Is Used as a Weapon
Both of Offense and
| Defense

That is the retort courteous" said
the fool in the forest, when he qualified
the quip and crank to the lie direct.
The man who can accomplish the re-
direct to many an awkward accusa-
ton. and, If his wit be bitter. so much
the more deadly his point
In the time Of Charles II in England,
In an age of wits, the grand master Of
the art Of retort was the crippled first
Earl of Shaftesbury. 'Shaftesbury.
said the King to him one day, Il be-
lieve that thou art the wickedest dog
in all my dominions.' "Of a subject,
sire. / believe 1 am" was the reply.
While speaking against the test bill in
the House of Lords the Earl overheard
an indolent churchman say, Il wonder
when he will have done preaching.
The orator whispered loud enough to
be heard by all. When l am made a
bishop my lord
Dr. Garth, witty physician Of the
court of Queen Anne, had prescribed a
nauseous dose for the great warrior,
the Duke of Marlborough. When the
Duke objected to following the direc-
tions the sharp tongued Duchess Sarah
broke in by saying. I'm be hanged IL 1t
does not cure you" There, my lord, .
low II; you will gain either way"
Repartee has ever flashed brilliantly
from the bench. Lord Mansfield. the
famous English Judge of the second
half of the eighteenth century, listened
to an argument of the insolently proud
Sir Fletcher Norton upon a case In
volving certain manorial rights. MY
lord" said Norton, Il can instance the
point In person. Now, I have myself
two little manors." I'VE are well aware
of that" said the Judge, smiling
kindly.
do you see anything ridiculous in
my wig?" said a judge to the famous
Irish barrister, John Curran Moth
ing but the head" flew back the re-
tort.
The late Chief Justice Russell was
hearing a trial for bigamy. What 8
the extreme penalty Tor bigamy?
whispered a barrister. Two mothers
in-law,' said Russell.
Although the law seems to be especi-
ally conducive to skill in fencing with
words, the church has supplied large
quota of men who delighted In the
give-and- of verbal warfare. The
venerable DIR. Thomas Fuller, author
of THE Worthless Of England" how
ever, met his match once when he pro-
pounded the following question to a
certain DIR. Sparrowhawk: Pray. what
is the difference between a sparrow
hawk and an owl?" Why" came the
response, there is great dluerence.
An owl is fuller in the head. fuller In
the body and fuller all over"
The eloquent Baptist divine. Robert
Hall, had a caustic wit. A fippant
young woman having broken into his
reveries in allusion to his fiance, Miss
Steel. by saying. "Ah, sir, If we had
but polished steel here, we might Sc
cure some of your attention; but
Madam. he replied, make yourself
quite easy; If you are not polished
steel, you are at least polished brass" "
What are you going to do in life?"
asked Cardinal Manning of a pert
undergraduate at Oxford. "Oh. I'm
going to take holy orders was the
airy response. Take care you get
them, my son." came from the prelate.
Horne Tooke is credited with this
daring retort to George III, who had
asked him whether he played cards:
Your majesty, 1 cannot tell king
from a knave. London Chronicle.