New-York tribune., 1905-01-24
ROJEsTvENsKY, LoTUs-EATER.

Here is haven after many days,
To tootle forth the lively 'Marseiliase;
And bid our leading bugler should he know II,
TO take the Malagasy Hymn and blow it,
For we have come pursuing desperate tracks.
Under the lee of that wel-favored isle
Where our beloved allies instruct the blacks
And hence the niggers in this cultured part are
Disposed afectionately toward the Tartar
Il would we might escape few brief weeks.
From Oceans indefatgable roll.
And kiss the garrison on both their cheeks
And help ourselves at ease to neutral coal,
And soothe our nerves. just now little weedy
Here where the hour is always apres-midi
For what a Iotus-land invites the eye!
VIA Land dc OF r5d+ ripe bananas rat mas very cheap
And disregard the nauseating deep,
And ae coGghsd on beds OF amaEaRth and moly
ALAS! we must forego this fair delight
For Duty calls us onward, stern and stark
Anq we shall De IN places stlli more tight
Or tentatively stole, with shivering marrows
Up ancient Elsinore's insidious narrows.
'Sunda Malacca. Torres (see the maps)-
,, Out Of hundred straits who is to know
Where Kamimura means to set his traps?
The open seas often very lumpy
But Archipelagos are much more tumpy.
"Oho! A cable? What is this we read
What sacred mandate from our Lord. the Cart
TN further notice you will not proceed,
But, on the other hand, stay where you are;
Meanwhile awaiting our august decisions.
Lay in some yams and other fresA provisions
Gentlemen. you have heard our Masters voice:
He might have urged us forward but his choice
=, Is & that we give the sea well earned rest;
or keeping all these crooks from going under.
Then let pluck the pleasant tropic day
Ere yet our useless tolls again begin;
I fail to see what giory's left to win:
Out with the pinnaee then, my heaTties! Heave no!
Nhos Tor a Jaunt to AntananartvoP -(PUnch-
Mr.. and Mrs. G. E. Bailey, of San Francisco.
VO trar lIOer In fhajr
Barbara County. suddenly came upon a thousand
wild cattle in the road. They forced their way
through. crowdlng the cattle to right and left but
fer time they and the herders expected to see
the automobile upset and wrecked by ths excted
animals.
Time Wssted.-'I'll never employ another Russian
why not2'
Just / learned to pronounce her name she
left me."-(Ceveland Plain Dealer.
few months ago. in looking up his geneaIogy
a Londoner discovered that woman whom he did
not know was using crest he had regarded as his
own He found she was a cousin. They became
friends, and when she died recently she he
queathed her estate. more than S5OOOOO to him
That was certainly rich fruit on the branches
of the family tree.
FOLKS IN RUTs
TIL world is full o ruts. my boy, some shaller an
An evry rut is fun o. folks as high as they can
Each one that's grovellin in tn ditch is growlin'
An wishin' he had got his chance before it was
They lay, It all on else or say twas
just their luck
But here's III word Of that's lived clean
through, from soup t nuts:
TIL Lord don't send no derricks round t hist
folks OUT o ruts
Some folks has stayed in until they didn't like
Then scrambled bravely to tn road an entered in
sich ones has always found a hand held out for
An cling d1 to till they'd lost the move peculiar to
But only them that helps themselves an tries
VIII ever tn heipin' hand t which each climber
This here's the hard plain. solemn facks without
Th' Lord don't send no derricks round t. hist
baltimore American.
u cuhman who had served on the house COM
mittee OF yacht club tells of odd complaint
made by milolaire member. The member of
the house committee kept copy OF the letter of
complaint 1t read follows
Gentlemen: 1 have the honor inform you
that 1 lunched at the club this afternoon and
had as my guests three gentlemen. all well known
gourmets. Among the dishes that l ordered. an
omelet was served which contained only three
flies. AS an old member of the club. Jealous OF
Its reputation as to generosity OF portions. this
naturally touched my pride; IT was. moreover, en-
barrassing because. in order to make an equitable
division of the omelet 1t was necessary either 10
divide fy-a nice bit OF carving as you must
concede--or to fOrego fly myself beg to sug-
gest that IN future when omelet is ordered for
four persons 1t should be served with elther-ja)
foar files, or (b) files at ALL"
Troven-"If you steal-I don't care what-you'u
repent 1t day" ~ ~ II
Bah! Didn't you ever steal a kiss7.
Yes. and married the girl. by gum!'-(Cleve-
Iani Leader.
woman tells story OF the impertinence NJ \
cook for u short time in her employ This cool,
native American a daughter of NeUF+arnn
shine. She armed with the usual sr,o,tstt
credentials. But apparently she had been accps-
TONED to treatment as one OF the family uka +b.
ruri help" AS soon she arrived in The hors
she began asking series OF familiar ana nsrsona,
questions. She answered with civtlitv hrt a.
the end she reached point where civity 1yo,I1
no longer serve. II you have a dausbtar
Whist Is her Manner said the new cook "Mar
gare." my friend answered. Margaret" said The
cook Dear me! guess you'll have TO can her
something else whilo I'm here for my Names
Margaret too"
1t founded Big" Bragey's a publisher isn't ha7,
"Npt at all. What made you think that?'
"Ee told me he was dissemination OF light liter
aturs" 'e'
"Ap. he's bin clerk in the employ OF tns gas