Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1905-10-07

Dyer-Did his widow succeed In
breaking his will? Duell-Yes; long
before he died Exchange
Rcdd-How much does that chauf-
feur cost you season? Greene-Re-
pairs, fines, or salary ?-Yonkers States
man.
Mrs. Hoyle-Does your husband
make good money! Mrs. D0yle--Yes:
It's good enough, but there's too little
IF it.-Judge
Madam--Be sure 20 put plenty or
Ruts in the cake. Cook-I'n crack no
more nuts to-day, My Jaw hurts me
already. Harper's Bazaar
Tramp lived on water once for
six months. Lady Well. must say
YOU don't look IT, Tramp ulster he
La sailor,-Ncw York Mail
is this sure enough camers hair
brush. mamma 2" Yes, dear" "Geel
II don't see how camel can ever
brush its hair with that thing HouS-
ton Post.
Jaspa Many wise word is spoken
in Jest, Jumpuppe-Ies. but they
can't compare with the number of fool
ish ones that are spoken in earnest
Exchange
Miss Oldone-I wouldn't have re-
fused Charley Banks II Id been YOU.
Miss Sweetglrl-I don't believe
would, either, If Id been you.--New
York Mail
Hes sorry that he quarreled with
his wife" "She has gone home TO her
mother. l suppose" NO; she's had
her mother com home to her,"-Phila-
delpha Press
Papa, are jailS only for people who
get caughtT" Dear me. no! they
are only for those people who get
caught and haven't money enough To
stay out. Life.
Are those new people next door
richf' Rich, Well. should say s0.
They have two automobiles, and one
iof 'cm is at the repair shop MI thc
time g. BOSTON Herald.
Haven't Hcnpe'k and his wife set
tied their differences about their Wis
itlng cardsr' oh, yes, they've com
promised ON MIR. and Mrs, Maria Hen
peck. philadelphia Press.
What makes you 50 sure Black Is
not total abstEinerY' when ! asked
him where he was last night tie
rubbed his head. and said. Let me
stop ana think! detroit Free Press.
Miss Anteek Yes, we're engaged
Some people are mean enough to say
he's too young for me Miss PERT
Ridiculous Miss Antcek 1t Ia 80,
isn't it2 Miss Pert--Sure! Hell age
fast enough after he's married to yon..
-philadel, hia Press
Governess docking over geography
paper What's this? Tho people or
Lancashire are very stupid" Where
In the world did you get that idea
| from: pupil-Out Of the book II says
| that Lancashire is remarkable for lts
dense population Punch.
Father-Why don't you work, my
son? If you only knew how much hap
piness work gives you would begin at
once. Son--Father. ! am striving TO
lead life OF self-denial. In which
happiness plays no part DO not tempt
me-St Louis Globe Democrat.
II takes de weather deg ez Pr0vi-
dence sends It," said Brother Williams;
"ef whirled in en- prayed fer rain
dar'd sho' come q dry spell, En If
prayed fer dry, dar'd come rain enough
ter drown me-en dc Lawd knows,
can't swim ATLANTA Constitution.
Squire Greene Yaas, while yOu
folks were away, they expelled old
Deacon Goodman from tn Baptist
| Church. MIR Naborly Why, how
did It happen? Squire Grcene-Wal,
somebody asked him what he thought
Of automobiles, and he told 'cm'--
Puck
Empoyer-W Wen. what dii he say 10
you? Clerk-That he'd break every
bone in my body aud pitch me out Of
| the window II showed my face In
bis office again, Employcr-1hen 20
back and tell him that he is vastly
In,istansn II he thinks he can lnilmi
date me by his violence Life.
Mr. Korncrsloon-l've half mind
10 start for Dawson city. Sarah.
Here's q fellow went up there six
months ago, and has just got home
" it'll fifteen thousand dollars in his
porkcf Mrs kOrncrsioon-8ut that
would never do for YOU. John You
can't even get home Saturday nights
with your fifteen dollars Exchange.
The Snorcr's Ketort.
An irascibic old gentleman who had
the misfortune to travel with a man
who went to sleep ana suored loudly
thought fit 10 wake tne sleeper and
demonstrate with him, and after ad-
dressing him In terms more fOrcble
than polite. he savagely concluded "If
people would only keep their mouths
.t,,+ tbny yroutl make loss UOigRrr