The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-12
A LESSON IN CULINARY
 ETHICS.
BY FRANK H. SWEET.
tcopyright. 1905, Daily Story Pub. CO

stove! WHeTt all thc "Ouf'H Ao'rs . What's up?"
 Johnson started, thea crew himself together hurriedly.
 My wife and daughte- have just run up to Mary Br owns Tor day or two," he answered gruffiy. The visit was-er-pretty sudden. and they had no time to send me word, nor to get dinner But I guess We 'ah patch up one between us. en. Jakh?" trying to pass it off lightly. Get jus as good dinner as the women folks, and a mighty sight quicker"
 Course we can," cried Jake. with alacrity, and pleased at the thought of so novel a task. and one we'll like better. too Men folks know just what men folks want. We'll have injuns and :aters. and coffee that's strong enough to taste
 And billed cabbage" reminded one of the men earnestly.
 And tripe" And baked beans V And liver" chimed in the others, moistening their lips in anticipation of favorite dishes.
 Come, come! We can't have every thing at once" cxpostulated Johnson. impatiently. Here, pitch in. all of you. and help what you can. That fields got to be hood before dark"
 But in spite of the superabundance of assistance the dinner progressed slowly, and 1t Was 2 o'clock before the men drew their chairs to the table, red-faced and fuming at the stupidity of each other. And in spite Of the fact that 1t was of their own cooking. the dinner did not seem to please them. They tasted suspiciously of one dish and another, and pushed their plates back, and then tried again, grimacing and scowling and at last rose sullenly and left the room.
 Johnson glanced at his watch as the last one disappeared. He had work of importance to look after. So the dishes and food were left on the table. and the cooking utensils on the stove and floor. wherever they had been dropped in the hurry. It would be time enough to attend to them when he returned.
 But long before that tho sun had fallen behind the apple orchard, and the kitchen was SO full of shadows as to call for artificial light. He was tired and cross, and this did not facili- tate dish washing and supper getting. When the men came in from their late chores he was bristling with angry impotence, and his face and clothing were spotted with grease and soot of reckless contact with dishwater and cooking utensils. Again they were called upon for assistance, and again. after some of the unsatisfactory sup per had been forced down-the dishes and food were left on the table. to await the time when 1t would be nec- essary to remove them
 One day longer the men folks" cooking was persisted in, but by that time the pleasant kitchen had been ness to den of chaotic neglect. Then Ia ka q f3iRS nf a whole neighborhood had come to feast with them, and that If no change was made, he, for one. was going to take his meals henceforth over to Neighbor Gould's and that the other hired men agreed with him.
 So the next morning Jake was sent unceremoniously to Mary Browns with orders to bring the women folks home, whether or no.
 Just tell them we're too busy with the hoeing now to bother with cook ing" Johnson snarled. If twas any other time we wouldn't care a conti- mental whether they come or stayed. It's just their aggravating way to pick out a time like this"
 But when Jake returned with the in formation that Mary Brown had neith- CT seen nor heard of them. his anger gave place to wonder and dismay.
 
 was not equal to doing the work him self. much as he disliked to acknowl- edge 1t after declaring that women s work was not work at all, but only play.
 In the end he sent for one of the Gould girls to come and attend to the house work, and after two days sent her back and engaged one of the Cady girls. But she was no better.
 l. !, htrf with even less satisfaction than be- fore. He had not dreamed house work was so endless and exasperating, and before the week was out was so far humbled as to acknowledge to Jake in private that he would rather hoe corn sixteen hours a day than prepare q single meal of victuals.
 Then why don't you get the women folks back?" Jake asked bluntly. If you can run the kitchen cheaper and easier than they, like I've heard you twit 'em, go ahead and do it; if not get em back. That's my say
 Another two days brought Johnson to the limit of his endurance, and then came relief In the shape of d letter from the city. It read. .... .-...
 Dear husband:
 We've been having a pretty good time. but things here do cost awful. wanted to buy some things for Mary but cant, for we'll have only jus, enough to pay cur fare home after staying another week."
 Another week" groaned Johnson How'll We ever get through it?"~ Then he continued: %
 We went to that machine place number and found twas fraud. just like I warned you. The laws shut il up. and there's lot of letters held foi l their owners. l hired lawyer and ht fC und IL out. and he said one letter was yours and would be sent back. suppose it's the one with the $l,50( you sent
 John drew a quick, hard breath, and then read the postscript.
 Il suppose it's pleasanter there with out us, and you're living cheaper and better. like you've always said; but it.: Lonesome here in the big city, and Mary and I will be both glad to get back We'll come a week from Saturday"
 Johnson dropped the letter anc leaned his head upon his hands Thinking was something unusual tc him, but this time it was to good pur. pose, for 1t ended in his writing in 8 cramped, laborious hand.
 Dear wife.
 T take my pen In hand to answer your welcome letter. We've been hay. ing an awful time and want you tc come back just as soon as you can. Al the men will be glad to taste of youl cooking again, and I won't ever saS any more about it's being easy Tn sending s100 with this to buy some things fer Mary, and I'm free to say think it's a good idea to have a hired girl. We're well off now and can at- ford it. and I'm sorry I didn't see tho nf n n I ha,