New-York tribune., 1905-12-30
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

traveller in Yorkshire, according to THE Tat
ler." who spent night at small inn was
awakened early in the morning by loud knocks at
the door and shouts of Thine to get up, sir" The
sleepy traveller dsgusted at being disturbed so
early, replied that he had no intention of getting
up at that hour. Mine host, however, entered
the room in great excitement. saying: You must
get up, sir. You really must" On being asked
his reason for this inopportune intrusion he
Piled: "Lor' bless you. sir, why. it's time to get
breakfast ready, and you're lying my best table
cloth"
US by all means have football reform an polite
ers an after Congress has tended to them cryin'
needs 1t kin take up Ta6iway rates ] an sucn sHlan
The name "whiskers' is applied to feathery crys-
tails which gather upon the outside of the wrapping
of frozen dynamite The 'whiskers" are
irritable" than dynamite itself A case is on
record where sticks of dynamite had been thawed
out in hot water and the can of hot water In which
It was done left in the blacksmith shop without
being emptfed of the residual scum of grease and
whiskers The first blow of the blacksmiths ham
rner on a nearby anvil sufficient to set off the
whiskers by conclusion. The was blown to
pieces but fortunately one was hurt.
RESIGNATION
New Years resolution
Come to look me in de eye
An ak me how 1 been.
l reckons dat yous bout de same
An doesn' speck yous' gwinter find
Much difference in me.
Dat hist'y keeps repeatin'
Is heard de white folks say.
e 5pees esse dat IS yeg jes dn dat Wa Way will ind
Is gwinter do my very bes',
We o1tf bo3b Of qs b TaS ST6ka bT9ae s6me an o year
-Washington Star
A clergyman is quoted in "Everybody's Magazine"
as confounding an advanced young who
was demonstrating TO him that science had dis
proved religion. with this little parable. Madam"
ne said Il knew member of your sex who
perfectlv reconciled science and religion She is
prominent member of the Young Womens Chris
tien Association. and she making address
to a large gathering of women which was inter-
r,,pted by a terrific thunder shower. She shared
with many the awful fear of thunder. and light
ming and with the others she trembled in silence
for a few moments When a binding fash was
swiftly followed by frightful clap OF thunder
she struggled TO her feet and began TO pray: %
Lord take us under Thy protecting wings. for
Thou knowest that feathers are non-conductors.' -
CONGRESSMAN JONES
When Jones left Badgers Corners he was racked
And ~ weight Weight was on his shoulders as he heard
He was going where great statesmen with ma
jestic brows would stand
In the halls of marble, wisely making statutes for
the land.
In his heart Jones knew how little he excelled the
common
Who sending him 10 m1ngle with and chal-
In his fancy he could plainly see himself unnotced
Where the splendid statesmen lowered and with
wisdom filed the air.
Jones was awed when he behed them and first
heard them called by name:
stin the glamour upon them. he was dazz1ed
And he watched them. fun of wonder. yet a little
For in searching out the giants he found very.
very few.
Day by day ne saw and heard them. day by day his
awe decreased:
He had feared and he had doubted. but at length
his trembling ceased:
He had learned at last that greatness Is but
being stationed where
Almost any might dazzle IL the fateS had set
him there.
-lChieago Record Herald.