The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-08-12
ghsHES
z,ssSsos For


it so.-New York Sun.
Business.-"How much have you
got BillyT" "Fourpence." 1--WE got
twopence. Let's put it together and
go halvesw-Punch.
"They say there's no chance for the
rich in the next world" That's prob
ably the reason they're getting most
everything herer-Detroit Free Press.
Mr. Goodley-Her age really sur
prised me. She doesn't look %. does
she? Mrs. Snappe-Not now; but !
suppose she did at one time.-Philadel-
phia Ledger.
Nell-Somebody told me to-day that
was handsome. Bell-when was
that? Nell-To-day. Belle-No; IL
mean when were you handsome-Phil-
adelphia Ledger
An unknown commodity: Rachel
Vader. Cohen-Yah. Rachel want
some spending money. Cohen-Spend-
ing money? Vat kind OF money is
dot?-Town Topics.
Teacher-what great difficulty was
Demosthenes compelled to surmount
before he became an orator. Sofrmore
He had to learn how to talk Greek.
Philadelphia Press.
She-When should a young widow
discard her weeds? He-Oh, | don't
know, but l suppose she should cut
them Just as soon as she wants to
raise second crop OF orange bios
soms.-Baltimore Herald.
Mother-Oh, you bad boyl Dirty
hands againl I'm afraid you're a
hopeless case. Tommy (eagerly)-Oh,
mai does hopeless" mean you're GO
ing to give up talkin' about it?-Phll-
adelphla Press
: An absent-minded butcher was ask
5 ed by young mother to weigh her
a baby. He put the little one on the
9 scales, and, CHANGING at the dial. re-
Y marked: Just nine pounds, bones and
= all. Shall l remove the bones PIX
n An Oklahoma man has discovered
d that there were department stores IL
r ancient Hebrew days. He quotes th'
fourteenth verse in the fourteenth
y chapter OF Job: "All my appointed
II time will wait, till my change come
e Eek.
e "Oh, DOCTOR" exclaimed rheumati
l. patient, II suffer dreadfully with m,
n hands and feet" But, my dear sir
rejoIned the physician. lust try t
N think how much Inconvenience yo
y would suffer without them. "-Londo
Tit-Bits.
Il understand" began the large
scrappy-l looking ward politician, ida
"a youse had piece In your paper calliI
me a thief" You have been misir
formed. SIR" said the editor, calmly
this paper publishes only news
Cleveland Leader.
whats the matter7" asked the Of
timist; II thought your uncle had lie
you S1OO,OOO?7 HE did," replied ii
pessimist, but confound it, he pr
vides in his Will that I've got to III
$3.50 of it to buy him a tombstone
Chicago Record Herald.
"why do so many actors insist {
playing Shakespeare" II suspect
answered Mr. Stormington Barne
1 ludl IL OCtduoC lhCJ Ndh tahC III II
credit IL they succeed, and blame Il
public's lack of literary taste If tn
fail."-Washington Star.
IA She-Im glad we went. 1t was
u excellent performance-and for such
- charitable purpose. Her Husband
~ Yes. indeed We all feel thrill
"a satisfaction when we do somethi
III for charity and get the worth of o
I'd money at the same time.-London I
IA Bits.
III Patient-Great Scottl Doctor, tina
= an awful bill for one weeks treatmel
nc Physician-My dear fellow, If y
uS knew what an interesting case yol
was, and how strongly l was tempt
to let it go to a post-mortem,
ron wouldn't grumble at a bill three tin
Inv as big as this.-Chlcago Tribune.
Id "If yoh husban' beats you. mel
on Won kin hab him sent to de whlpp
nd nos" said Mrs Potomac Jackson.
ded NV husban' ever beats me-" said NJ
ose Tolliver Grapevine, "dey kin send /
to de whippin'-pos' If dey wants
urd But dey'll have to wait till he
lea out'n de hospital. "--Washington 81
but A Southern planter was asking
)vel OF his colored servants about her W
ears ding. Eyes, subj" she said, 1T
rec les the finest weddin' you ever Sc
# it six bridesmaids, flowers eyerywh'
" a hundreds of guests, music, an er b
cred err prayin'." Indeed" commented
master. And l suppose Sambo lc
han ed as handsome as any Of them
Their embarrassed pause. well, no
nore 'xactly. sub. Would yer believe 1t,
lied fool niger neber shower upP
was A farm laborer was working L
field by the roadside one cold
his when a clergyman came along
sim road and stopped to speak to !
rva- plenty Of work for you this weat
sion John?" he called out "Ah! said j
ians ~ don't know when l don't have W
,ald- no matter what weather com
nder THAT'S hard, John" said the Gle
man; but wait till you get to the p
~ rest. then you will have no wor
do" "Humphv' grumbled John.
needn't tell mel They'll find job
John. never fearl 1t Will be; !
John. polish up the sum- John,
might hang out the stars! John
ouick. now and light up the me
that No no. parson. there amt no plac
rest for John"