The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-10-29
With the Long Bolu
-'sEye nsture,s walks. shoot

The Winnifred Black Syndicate, Which Writes
Girly -Girly Literature, Devises MAY r-
win Man Test = by Which We Girls May
Be Able to Tell if Our Man Is Of the Right
Kind An Invaluable Aid in the Sizing Up
Of Your Man.
Wnnifred Black who is probably ,synsli.
cate engaged in writing giry-girly literature fol
grly girls, has devised "man test By it you are
able to tell whether your man'' is the right kind
in which he should be dragged to the
with and married ITO once
This sizng-up process is known as the . May Irwin
man test - You take your to the theater to SEE
May Irwin. Winnfred says that the right kind Cd
man never likes May Irwin. 'tShe's funny, .hei
says, llbut don't like funny women. !,
When May Irwin does funny cake-wa1k he turnf
his head away and shudders g If my mother dc
that, he says, s"I'd smile again. And my
wife-Ough!-"
The right kind of man, says Wnnifred wants hi,
ideal to pretty clothes, to tell ;sWeef
stories to curly headed children to sing odfashioned
songs like s'Flow Gently, Sweet Alton at twilight
and to tell him fifty times day that she loves hin
better every minute. He doesn't want her to.tel
fred adds sententiousy: y
Take him!'' - s-= st.s ;,
eve see his finish right here.) 80 ~ ---szs-
But the who buys seats FIR May Irwin
plays week in advance-don't think of him for 4
minute; he's too fond Of good company, good food
good clothes, good drinks, good horses He max
omelet that will melt in your mouth and tell store
y that always get delighted audience He's all RICH
for brotherin-law; he II lend you money when you r
broke and he'll take you downtown and buy you,
new hat almost any old time just for fun. He's
pretty good father. But for husband-not till hi :.
bald spots begin to him it s time to settle down
And then he likely to turn grumpy and hate the ver
name of a theater anyone who goes to one.
49, Good fellows all like May Irwin. The good hus
bands seldom do. .@~--s --.. ~ = .>@-z- ~,
T.. Now, dearie, you know just what to do @zs.-.s
- Little George which is not his name at all, ha
been entertaining liberated tooth, and it
first tooth and had to come out anyway, it was de
cided to have it pulled Now little George had ha
It drilled into him from his earliest years that Their
sensation in matter, but that all sensation
in mind And whereas the little mortal George Nigh
appear to suffer, the real little George the true
you know, could not suffer be sinful So ittl
George urged to manifest the real little Georg
and bring him strongly to the front in the dentist
chair. Having reasoned it all out George decided
do So. The dentist wanted to gas cocaine
something, but little George and mama smiled a.
each other and refused. - -, .--.i-..s -. -
Then 100 pounds of muscular dentist fastened itsel
to Georges tooth and the false little George SCI
arated from his bitter in about threeeighths Of
ond. George, yipped .,, .-.-:.e- =. z.-I
"Didn It that hurt7' asked the astonished DENTS
feNo'' said Georgia running his tongue into tn
place where the tooth was. 70; ers% % Tes..s
g1: sW ELL If that Is case =, dentist, tsw
might as we'll take out that other tooth there It
in bad shape and will drop out in few weeks -
emo, sr,' said George, getting out of theeehai
=. The dentist laughed. 4. p. - 2
When they got out in the hall, asked litt
h. sfbo
the first didn It hurt go 81 rs s<1-@*. g
"Wel you see - said Georgie, eve had the frs
tooth all argued out but nothing had been cleased
about the other.''i@ -. = 49,. - q - -
-1s So they had the con talk about No. right the,
and then George went back and yielded up his
Z" ond bitter without whimper. And he says it didn
hurt. --@- = !. = 3 1.@
+. Now, did little Georgia lies The facts are give
aas they occurred and George is truthful little DO
=, in other respects = 80 - -'s S@ 49,
2 Arthur stringer, name that might indicate to Il
suspicious ones that Arthur strnging us, tt
he is, not, has written poem telling how the Rive
of Youth dew cool and rainbow KISSED has its rh
in the Hills of Dream and flows thru the Enchante
Woods where kings ride steeds with velvet hun
There was this river great castle in the wood,
wilderness Of building, where Secret Stairways temp
ed the adventurous to search for great chests OF
ish Gold. One of these stairways always leads to tt
chamber of the Sleeping Princess But you are NJ
satisfied to stay here even, and so for you embark
- this river that flows thru magic years, so M
stringer claims, creeping past towers of peacock BIZ
and washing the bases Of cliffs where Pirate Cav,
abound = y.:g = - :s-:.S.Ss - i
But after letting this river wind thru goriol
country, the poet is enough to have it empt
into the gray and desolate Sea of Doubt:
- This is where we parted company with the poe
Seeing that the tide not SO very strong, tho
was deep and steady, we pulled pair of rosewoc
oars strongly against it and were happy to note thu
we were gaining Roadway. After a few hours, sturd
work at the oars, the shore was left in the di
lance and the way slowly retraced to the pira-
caves. Here tied the boat to great rock, kndle
a fire in front of the and slept comfortably
messy ledge, well protected from the de# and fro
the night winds.
In the morning refreshed by the nights rest, v
pulled steadily eastward. Then for the first time
noticed thousands Of voyagers the river but near
all of them drifting leisurely seaward tho some WEI
rowing. sa -
Attempts were made to warn them, but the war
inrs were unheeded or were regarded with contemp