Los Angeles herald., 1905-06-17
Pi-1ineS and Pick-upS
rouo,a Task

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Toeo's Task
When Togo goes to Toxic, his iaureis
earned to wear;
when gladstone all the popuisce acclaini
him everywhere.
Old Togo's heart will vet be sad ana
downcast all his mien,
For won't a board be asking him: Now,
sir, what does this mean7
Why did you swoop
Around that Ioop7
And IL you didn't,
why?
oh, Togo, of the bulldog STYLE we know
you 1t 'em WE'LL
And Of the Russian battleshps, you sent
'em all to h-(Davy Jones's locker)i
But yet your greatest misery confronts
you when they ask
You to explain: 1.-THE board would like
a knowledge Of this task:
Why did you swoop
Around that loop?
And II you didn't,
Why7"
| Governor Hoch Of Kansas, having
tackled both John Barleycorn and John
Rockefeller with measure Of success.
is now laying for the cyclone, to chase
| it to the tall timber.
| King Peter of Servla is to withdraw
his minister from the sultan's court.
The Porte must be pretty bad IL servia
can't stand II.
Paul Morton simply found that thor-
ough knowledge of prairie schooners
didn't necessarily qualify him to run a
navy.
Mr.. Lemon-He is Wall street bull.
Miss orange-Why, L thought from his
actions that he more resembled bearl
| The drink bill of the United States, ac-
cording to the American Grocer, per an
mum, is $1,000, 100000, or s1s per capita.
Yet we have no recollection of getting
our s1S worth.
The brilliant virtue Of the mikado will
now try to convert Vladivostok into
Vladivostaken.
AS a Kansas singing teacher has just
been fined 50 for disturbing the peace, it
is quite evident that voice culture
hasn't found it's way to that benighted
region as yet.
The zemsky sober seems 10 have so hard
time a-meeting
That it a zemsky drunk may be- before
1t has a seating!
The Redlands Facts says its brass band
wants to go to Portland. All right! Let
the drummer beat his way; but the rest
Of the players will likely have to blow
themselves.
| Luther Burbank Is out with denial
that he has propagated potato bug that
lives on tomato worms. But having
combined the tuber and the love-apple,
he has hopes.
According to the Guernsey (wyo.) Ga
zette, gossip has got war and hell
backed up in a corner yelling for ice
water" Who's been telling on We editor
since he visited Cheyenne?
| General Miles for governor of Massa-
chusetts? Never! The governor wears
no uniform.
Now Hungary is hungry for dissolu-
ton Of partnership and king of its owns
since Norway blazed the way.
This theory of apples killing the desire
for alcoholic drink is all boSh. LOOK ac
New Jersey and its applejack
If Norway really wants a ruler it might
find Max Lebaudy willing. Or the Bona
parte pretender. Or, in pinch, even
Cap'n Streeter.
The Sweet Girl Grad
They have taught her Greek and Latin.
and lot about Manhattan, and have
given her a try at botany;
Physiology and grammar; with Sanslrit
! they've tried her manner, and expert
mented, too, in chemistry,
In economy political, Caesar and French
prolific, and the rudiments of painting.
from a book;
Oh, she's got all kinds of knowledge; she
will graduate from college-but l Won
| der if they taught her how to cook?
| Trigonometry is easy and on lit'rature
she'll freeze me, and her concept OF
the planets is sublime;
She knows all about the weather, and
each bird and every feather. and
doubt not she can make a sonnet
| rhyme;
Odontology IS no trouble, algebra s to
her bubble; at theology she merely
had to look;
| Oh she's full of wondrous learning, but
to know, my heart Is burlington l
wonder If they taught her how to cook?
| w. II. G.