The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-09
The Matter of Paying Dinner
Calls.

!
ant insight to a persons sense OF
! courtesy and good breeding, and while
1 the latter may be wanting for lack OF
! opportunity, refinement is innate and
does the correct thing in spirit even
though it fails in letter
Courtesy first displays itself in q
4 prompt reply to an invitation. The
I hostess may desire to ask some one to
/ meet you and is waiting to learn If
/ you Will be able to accept before in
/ wiling the other party. On the other
/ hand, If you cannot accept, she surely
/ viii want to fill your place. Never
! hold an answer for two or three days
/ in order to find out whether or not
you will be at liberty. If in the least
4 uncertain, send your regrets at once.
An engraved invitation requires a
/ formal answer in similar wording. For
/ instance, a pasteboard card with the
/ inscription;
Mr.. and Mrs Charles Gates
request the pleasure of
Miss Mabel Harriman's
company at dinner
on Thursday evening
at half after seven o'clock,
calls for this answer:
Miss Mabel Hartman
accepts with pleasure
Mr.. and Mrs. Gates
invitation to dinner
on Thursday evening
at half after seven o'clock.
The envelope should be addressed te
Mrs. Charles Gates.
In replying to a simple note of in
vitation the answer is correspondence
informal and is written on one of the
large 0biOng cards which are now in
use for that purpose. Otherwise in-
dite it on the first page of 4 sheet of
good quality note paper in white or
cream tint with envelope to match.
The note may read:
Dear Mrs. Gates:
It gives me great pleasure to accept
your kind invitation to dinner on
Thursday evening at half after seven
o'clock. Sincerely yours,
MABEL HARRINsAsS
October Twelfth.
If after accepting an invitation you
find it viii be impossible for you to
attend the dinner send a friendly note
Immediately, stating exactly why you
are forced to be absent and your regret
at this unexpected turn of events.
point of etiquette which the diner
out Of the present day has to observe
carefully, is not to mention a dinner
engagement when in conversation with
acquaintance of your hostess. It is
apt to cause i'll feeling if they have not
a similar invitation. and it saves much
embarra ssment on your part
The next point of courtesy to the hos
tess is the manner in which you dress.
Guests should always look their best. It
is delicate way of expressing appre-
citation. Formal dinners always demand
claw hammer coat. with regulation
white vest ana Tie IOI q man. Inc sack
coat is purely for bachelor functions.
When the dinner invitation is informal
~ written or merely verbal full even
ing dress is also considered correct form,
but it is perfectly proper to appear in
a business suit if you are not so for
tunate as to possess the more elegant
claw hammer coat. Both coat and
trousers. however must be well cleaned
and pressed and the linen Immaculate.
Many men who are obliged to remain
at n 10
have an extra set of collar and cuffs in
their pocket or they buy one a t a near
by shop. This they exchange for the
one they have been wearing during the
day, before leaving. the office.
The costume of woman or girl for
the dinner hour is a light-colOred fluffy
gown and this year even the simplest
evening frock has a slightly low neck
and elbow sleeves. On formal occas-
ions. long gloves supplement the short
arm coverings and the glove hands are
slipped back over the wrist While eat
ing.
No matter what the duties of men or
women when they have a special inyi-
tation to dine out they should not fail
to be on time. Delayed trolley cars
or a rush of business must not be Of
fered as an excuse. If you have forgot
ten or have not been informed of the
dinner hour call up by telephone or send
a short note and find out. In case you
know beforehand that it is quite inn
possible to be at the hostess house on
the appointed hour, tell her so at once
and then she will be prepared. More
than one delicious dinner has been
spoiled by a earelessly late guest
On arriving at the house or dining
place remove your wraps in the room
set for that purpose. and go at
once to your hostess. who should be
waiting for you in the parlor or library
If there are guests in the room whom
you do not know. and there has been
an oversight in failing to introduce you.
1t is quite proper and much less strain
ed to start conversation with one of
them, without a formal introduction
The hostess gives the signal to re-
pair TO the dining room, and she also
assigns each guest to his or her place.
At formal dinners a card at each plate
bears the name of ones of the party.
and the man who brings young Iadv
from the drawing room seeks out her
cara peslQe ms own. Each person
stands behind the chair assigned to him
until the hostess starts to be seated
herself
An exceptionally nice courtesy is for
a man to step back of the chair be-
longing to the girl nearest him lust be
fore she makes the move it sit down.
He pulls out the chair and before she |
has become seated, pushed it forward
to a position not too close to the table
for her comfort during the meal The
girl should not touch her hands to the
chair and a slight nod of the head win
show her thanks
Conversing at a dinner is an art in /
itself. General topics of the day are of
greater interest to everyone present and
much more pleasing than personal re-
marks, or the least suggestion of what /
is known as knocking You never +
can tell what friends the people at !