Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1905-02-18

Grumbling What's the
reason you raise the price of your coal
every month? Dealer-Wen. we find
the people keep on paying it-Chicago
Tribune.
Don't be ashamed of work" said
Uncle Eben. Sometimes de man wiz
lie wheelbarrow ain got nigh as much
Touble as de man wifi de automobile"
Washington Star.
1t is difficult for people to get what
hey really deserve in this life.' ct
difficult for some of us" answered
Miss Cayenne; Others have to dodge"
Washington Star.
Spellbinder-Ive nailed seventeen
different lies during this campaign.
Voice from Audience Have you got a
union carpenters card, cull?-Louis-
vile Courier Journal
They've added another man to the
force working on the new postoffice
building" as that sou Yes, one
Of the boys employed became of age
yesterday .--Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Money doesn't make the man." said
the high -browed and naughty youth.
No answered Senator Sorghum sit
locsn't make the man, but sometimes
it makes the candidate. Washington
Star.
Wanted n Circus; The Child~-Are
you the trained nurse mamma said was
coming? The Nurse Yes. dear; I'm
the trained nurse. The Child--Let's
see some of your tricks Brooklyn
Life.
Bridc--Georgc, dear, when we reach
our destination let us try to avoid Civ
ing the impression that we are newly
married George An right, Maud;
you can carry this suit case.-New
Yorker.
Il wonder why they call these apart
mcnts tlatsY That doesn't mean any
thing" no. perhaps the man who
drst invented them happened to look
at the building plan sldewise. "--Phila-
dclphia Press.
Another Victim: Newsboy -Great
mystery! Fifty victims Purchaser
Here, | say! There's nothing In yor-
paper! Newshoy That's the mystery,
guv'nor You're the ifty-frst victim.
Illustrated Bits.
"She must be q very brilliant wom-
an. for | hear that she says so much
that is worth remembering Indeed
She does. She teaches the muItiplica-
ton table in the primary grade. -
Cleveland Leader.
Pats Trouble: An Irishman came to
a doctor complaining that he had
noises In his head "Oi have thin arl
the tonne" he said, IAN sometimes
Oh can hear thin fifty feet away"'-
Lippincotts Magazine,
why did the congregation hurry
put 50 suddenly after the bcnedictionY'
The sexton makes them leave their
umbrellas in the vestibule, and those
who get out late haven't much Of
choice '''-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
She Was Worried: The Minister
My dear madam, let this thought con
sole you for your husbands death Re
than he have gone the same way.
Bcrcaved Widow-They haven't all
gone, have they Tit Bits.
lust Avoiding n Cuss Word: Grayce
War! War War, Gladys What on
earth are you hoIlering war about?
(irayce just struck my thumb with
the hammer Gladys Well what's
war got 10 do with III Grayce Don't
yon know what war Louisville
Courier-Journal
She Meant Well: "Now Tommy"
said Mrs. Bull. II want you to be good
while I'm ont "t'll be good FOR a
nickel" replied Tommy Tommy"
said she. II want you to remember
that you cannot be son of mine I'M
less YOU are good for nothing Louis
Nillc Courier Journal.
Dentist twho has pulled the wrong
tootht-I see how made the mistake
| counted the molars from the back
instead Of the front. You don't seem
to have cut yoIr wisdom teeth yet
young man Grooming Patient That's
evident from the choice | made OF a
dentist Chicago Tribune
Directions for Usc-The inventor Of
new feeding bottle for infants sent
OUT the following among his directions
for using When the baby is done
drinking it must bc unscreWed and laid
In "A cool place under the hydrant. Ir
the baby does not thrive on fresh milk
II should he boiled Golfers Wce6ly.
Mark TwaiD's First Money.
Mhlle Travelling recently MIX