The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-04-08
Humorous

Aercy bOuleYarder-
! uont have to. I own an auto
Baltimore American.
Captain Showing her over the shin,
This is the quarterback. LedvZ
linen suppose that deck down there
Is the hfty-cent deck.-Ex.
Mistress-If you want eggs to keen.
you must lay them in a cool place
bridget-Oi'll mintlon It to the hens
Ut wanst mum.-Illustrated Bits
You ran over that chap. Are Won
going to stop" Yes. just as soon as
we reach repair shop. heard some
thing break when we hit hlm."-Life.
Mrs. Dobbs--How is your new
neighborhood? Mrs. Dibbs-Oh. lust
ike the other one; all the rich people
talk poor, and all the poor people talk
rich.-Puck.
Joel love you; love you. Won't
you be my wife? Jess-You must see
mamma first. JOEL have seen her
several times, but | love you Just the
same.-Ex.
Rev. DR.. Thirdly-Don't you know,
little boy, that you shouldn't fish on
the Sabbath day? Tommy Toddles-I
amt a-fshin', boss; I'm JUS teachin
worms how ter swim.-Chicago Chron-
icle.
i see it stated here that the Sultan
wears an iron undershirt" Say,
wish had one like it to send to my
laundry. I'd like to get even with 'em
once in a while. "-Clevelan Plain
Dealer.
Hester-I hear that Bessie's engage
ment with Fred Simmons is broken
on. Too bad, isn't it? Grace-But
she's going to keep the diamond ring.
Hester-Oh, didn't hear OF that
Exchange.
Still Able to Attend to Business:
Il told Uncle Simon that he was get
ting too old and feeble to attend to
business" Did he take it kindly 2"
He threw me out of his Office
Vanity Fair.
An Inducement: Peddler-Want 10
buy an umbrella cheap? KraDkley-
No. What's the use? Everybody
steals my umbrellas. Peddler-Well,
this one amt worth stealth .-Philadel-
phia Ledger
II thought you were quite well ac-
qualnted with Brown" said Ascum.
mo, indeed" replied Cholly; law
only associate with my equals.
and" Really, you should aim higher
than that."-Ex.
Dawkins-And was it very hot in In
dia? Jawkins-Hot! Simply melting.
Why, one of our fellows stayed out
too long in the sun one day, and had
to be ladled back to his bungalow
London Tit-Bits.
do you expect to send your son to
college?" "Well, haven't decided
yet. In view of the hazing and the
football, I'm half inclined to believe 1t
would be more merciful to finish him
I'D with chloroform. Chicago Record
Herald.
Stranger-So you went to schoo
with Rudolph Kipling, eh? l suppose
you know he is now a famous writer
Uncle Fletch-Shol Why, him an me
used Their same copybook, an | know
nv writin' d beat his'n all holler.-
Exchange.
"What is a counter-irrltantT asked
Mrs. Smithers. "A counter-irritant'
replied Smithers, sis a woman VINO
makes the clerk pull down everything
on the shelves for two hours, and ther
buys four cents worth Of hairpins. -
Cleveland Press.
"Ughr exclaimed the exchange uck
Of Withdrawing as far as possible into
the corner of the pocket, you're from
pawnshop." Suppose I am retort
ed the pawn ticket, Il am the pawn
sbon's one redeeming feature. Phil
adelphia Ledger.
Naggus-What are you goinng to az
with the hero and heroine of that mag
azine story you're running nowF Mar
nv them? Borus-Certainly. They l
no married in the last chapter. Nagg
us-Tm glad of it. 1t will serve tnen
rightl-Chicago Tribune.
distinguished Artist-Perhaps II yot
came here you will get better ign
on the picture. This studio is no
nearly large enough. Fair \'slto
fdesirous to understand)-Nes' yes;
know One can't get far enough away
from YOUR pictures!-Punch.
Employment Agent-What was tn
matter with your last placer Bones
tc-The missus was too particular
rmnloyment Agent-In what way
na,,,astic-she wouldn't let me loci
the baby in the foldin' bed Wen ha'
comnany-New York Weekly.
In Good Trim.-Cityman-So yo'
arc going to plant a garden again TIL
vear Were your vegetables last yea
success? Suburbanite - Great
WIN my neighbours hens took mrs
,,.,7es at all the poultry shows. AM
thev ate practically nothing but M
Notwithstanding.
~ must warn you, Bridget SAT-
Mrs Nuritch. Ito see that the pea
a-e thoroughly mashed" MASHED
e. ,tqo remarked the new cook In SUI
nr,se Eyes; Mr.. Nuritch is so high
p l..,,no Won know, they make hin
nervous when they roll OF his knife-
Philadelphia Press.
One Mans Wisdom.
CT. fofter the proposaD-Are you i