Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1905-01-28
Humorous

myself alOnpy 1le--Did you think
loved you for your mother?--Somer.
vile journal.
mfr. and Mrs. Nubride have Joined
the church." why not? Turn abouts
fair play: didn't the church join them|'
Press.
1.ady--Did you ever feel as though
you'd like to work? Tramp-ies'm.
wouldn't mind being lineman for a
wireless telegraph company
"Brainleigh tells me he Is writing
Il popular novel" yes. his doctors
Insisted on his resting his mind for
o while!"--New orleans Timcs.Demo.
crat.
lie Got It: The Woman--No. I can't
give you a meal. The Tramp didn't
think you could. mum; you look too
young and inexperienced to know how
TO cOok.---New York Sun.
Church, see the Attorney General
Is going to stop all this guessing bust
ness in the newspapers. GothaiA--
Whom do you suppose that's aimed
at? The weather bureau;--Yonkers
Statesman.
Lucky stars: "l've had very sue.
ccssfui season." said the prosperous.
looking theatrical manager. "Well'
you can thank your stars for that. re.
piled the scedyloOking manager.-
Yonkers Statesman.
Hello you remember your old
school friend. Sophy Smythe! She
Yes. indeed. | do. \ most absurd-look'
ing thing. SO silly. too! What became
of her? He--Oh. nothing. Only
married her.--l,oston Globe.
Mamma--Figh,ins again. Willie'
Didn't | tell you to stop anu count
one hundred whenever you were an
CRY? Willic--i,ut 1t didn't do an!
good. ma. Look what the Jones boy
did while | d.-llarppr's Bazaar
Choliy--So Miss Tartum looscned III
and said a good word about me. uiC
she. .\rchic---Ycs: she said that wher
one got better acquainted with yot
one found you were not half rs Die
u fool Ms you appeared To bc.-Chicng'
Tribune.
one Advantages: l,imcr--Do yo'
really prefer to have long poems sen
In 10 you rather than short ones! Edl
tor-Yps. When they're long. you see
| don't have to think up any othe
excuse for rejecting them.--Philadel
pia Press.
II don't believe the woman who re
| Gently moved into the Hat across INT
hall Is any better than she should be-
| remarked Mrs. Nnggsly. "Of course
not. my DEAR" rrjoined Naggshy: "wh'
ever heard of II woman that wasE-
| 81. Louis Star.
Miss I'lnne--Yrs. Tom proposed las
night. and I accepted him. See TIM
ring Miss Wisr--lndecd! 10y TIT
way, dear. don't attempt to cut glass
with that diamond. Ms | did. or you'll
make another nick In the stone.-Phil
| u,lclphiu Press.
The child-.Aunt Mary. nurse say
when Il thunlrrs. it's the Lord scoldin
Us. Aunt Mury-rerl,aps 1t IL. dear
| TN. Chili-Well. | don't see what he
got to be - mad about. Use dom
everything to-day 'ccpt brush my teef.--
Brooklyn Life.
Wife-IIenry. what makes you II
! such a furious temper limsband-l'n
trying to read II Scotch dialect story
| The plot Is fcurfully exciting. but
can't hurdle over the language fas
enough to keep up with the hero!-
Detroit Free Press.
Rural .\dorer dashfully'-fou dldn'
go To Mile Meadows party. Don
/ You like kissin' games! Pretty Maid
No, / don't. Rural Adorpr weakly
Why don't yOuy Pretty Maid 'cncour
aglngly)-'Cause there's 81 many look
In on.---New York Weekly.
lie ,reading about the latest sOclet!
we,liing,-'rlley have lot to 81!
about what the bride wears. but the!
have nothing to say about the 200
| bridegroom. She-They have 10 meet
| to because Il IL II well.knOwn fac
that he usually wears II worried look
--ROstOn Globe.
Madame lin II busy street In Paris)-
Oh, NJ. rAgemt. IL 1t true that 1t u
dangerous to stand with the foot Of
the electric tramiimeI NJ. rAgent--NO
madame, Il II not dangerous so lOnl
as YOU do not stand with one foot OI
the line and the other Oh the overhead
wire.--iick Me Up.
Miss Fiyrty.--.Iack Hanson was tell
Inv me about II romantic adventure h,
had ut the party last night. 1t seem
he bumped into a girl In u dark hall
way AMI kissed her; ana he dOesn'
know vet Miss E!,lers--Oh! tee
hee! That was l. Miss Flyrty--What
Oh, for goodness sake, don't tell hin
now. Let him have his romance
Philadelphia Press.
Miss HOamley--Didn't You hear Mis-
Knox tell me yesterday that was "th
hon,eliest girl In our set?" Miss Good
ley-Yes, the hateful thing! CAV
her n piece of my mind about 1t after
ward. Miss Hoamley--Oh! did you?
hone YOU weren't too hard on her. Mis-
| GoOdley-Well, | told her she ought t
consider how sensitive You must b
about it.--Phlladelphia Ledger.
Perfectly Congenial: Naggsby =
When II man ana his wife thiNk tn
same thoughts simultaneously. 1t is
sign that they are exceedingly cOngei
ial. Waggsby-SOY Well. then, m
wife and l are congenlal all right, TO
the other night. when she said tina