The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1905-07-09
YARNS BY
THE JOKERS
Some Good Things
From Current
Files.

| Thomas w. Lawson was QlScuSSllS
bitterly an attack that had been made
on him by broker.
1T was a chivalrous attack" he said.
"It had in it the same spirit of chivalry
| that used to animate the words and
deeds of old John Henry.
| 81 was born in Charleston, and John
Henry had farm in the neighborhood.
He was tall and lean and round-shoul-
ldered. His manner was sullen and
forbidding. He worked very hard. Peo
pie said that he was rich.
| His wife was a little, thin, wiry
woman. She, too, was round-shoulder-
ed. She, too. worked hard. This
couple were each about 60 years old.
They had no children.
| And now about John Henry's chiv-
airy:
/ He came to Charleston one day to
buy a COW. He found, finally, the COW
lhe wanted, and the price, to his amaze
lment, suited him. 1t was good, low
lprice. and yet the cow had not
Iblemish.
""There's no blemishes about this
COVE said John Henry.
marry blemish, john the sales
man said.
"'How comes it, then, ye're sellin'
Iher SO reasonable?'
"sWell, I'll tell you, fair and square,,
said the salesman. She don't milk
lgood. She sometimes kicks, and kicks
lizard. when bein' MIXED
".Oh, that's no consequence said
John Henry. The wife does the milk
linz
A resident of Ava, N. Y, was talking.
about the late Hiram Cronk, the last
survivor of the war Of 1872.
cat the age of 1O0," said the Ava man,
i'Mr. Cronk still had an alert mind.
above all, he was a patriot. He be-
Ilieved firmly in the supremacy of our
republic.
IAN English traveller, out Of curios-
ity, came to Ava to see Mr.. Cronk one
day. The old patriot praised America
,extravagantly, and condemned England
as an outworn and dying nation.
'The Englishman stood this talk as
long as he could. Then he said hotly:
Suppose our superb fleet We're to
Hand $4,000 British marines in New
York-what would you Yanks do them
"Do?' said Mr.. Cronk, why, dern it,
our police would arrest Them"
Archbishop Ryan, at a dinner that
was given in his honor in Philadelphia,
said, anent a man who had bought a
sailed mine:
1.-THE gentleman's disappointment, on
discovery of the salt, must have been
great. 1t resembled a little, perhaps,
the emotion of a certain Frankfort
man.
This man had a small nephew of
whom he was very fond. One night, in
evening dress, he called at the young
ster's house and, taking him on his knee.
gave demonstration of an opera hats
mechanism. First he would crush his
tall black hat into a pancake. Then,
with loud report, he would spring it
back into its proper shape again.
'The little fellow was amused. He
took the hat. He, too, he found, could
crush it and open it with ease. He
played with it for half an hour He
had a good time. The episode made an
impression on him.
1.-THE uncle called the next month on
Sunday afternoon. This time he wore
a frock coat and a silk hat. He placed
the silk hat on table in the hall, en-
tered the parlor, and began to converse
with his brother.
AN hour passed. Then the little
nephew entered with something black
and shapeless in his hand
Uncle he said, this hat is harder
than your other one. I've had to sit
on it, but I can't get it more'n half
Shut"