davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09
DISEASE OF CIVILIZATION.
Reasons Put Forth to Account for
the Alarming Increase Of
Insanity.

The old question whether insanity
increases as civilization advances is
still open. 1t is part of that larger
problem whether evolution is to be in
terpreted in terms of optimism or OF
pessimism, says the New York Even
ing Post. Many reasons, both the
oretical and practical. have been given
for supposing that the number of the
insane is increasing 1t has been ar
gued that the nervous system of man
is being developed disproportionately
TO the rest of his bodily organism. The
body of the brute is adapted to its III
stincts; the body of man is an old
bottle filled with the new wine OF
highly specialized intelligence AMI
emotion. 1t has been supposed tina
the progress of evolution toward n
happy ideal is interrupted and i'm
peded more and more by dissolution
and degeneracy This doctrine, de-
Tended very skilfully by such writers
as Maudsley and Nordau, has been
partially justified by public opinion
and by statistics.
We are told that the Industrial and
commercial life of the present is 80
intense and rapid that even strong
men bend and break under the pres
sure. There is work without recrea-
ton, excitement without rest. gayetv
without pleasure-in sort. nervous eX
penditure without corresponding salts
faction. If the distribution of wealth
and rower be more equal now than in
former days there are man who arc
richer now than at any other period
of history: and the moral misery or
the poor is deepened by examples OF
extravaganza and luxury brought
home to them by daily experience and
the daily press. There is a struggle
and stress in social life unknown in
other times. Men. women and chill
dren are overworked. There are
sweatshors. unwholes'me factories
and long hours Labor Is so special
ized that the 10Y of complete achieve
ment is impaired. The rewards of
success are great. but competition is
greater. and the attainment of sue
cess more difficult.
Consequently. fatigue and ennui are
more widespread than ever before.
They predispose men 10 nervous lie
orders. Fatigue. disease and sadness
invite intemperance. II is not the
intemperauce of n former generation
tho drunkenness of the three-bottle
squire. or of the luxurious rich. II Is
the intemperance of the poor, of the
hard working men and women who
live from hand to mouth. and wh1
seek to bring a momentary idealisu
into their lives by an artificial stimu-
lus. There are preparations Of drugs
innumerable. advertised everywhere.
to add fuel 10 the fire beneath the
cracked boiler. to urge on the jaded
and depressed 10 morbid activity.
Cities. like flaming lamps, attract the
multitude like moths. Bad sanitary
conditions and crowded tenements be-
get weak bodies and weak minds.
breed immortality and consequent dis
ease. Thus the idea has become more
or less prevalent that society Is going
down hill as fast as heredity, self-'n-
diligence, dissipation and hard work
can make It go.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09
MISTLETOE: ITS TRADITIONS
Ancient Britons Worshiped Sun and
They Gathered Only What Was
Sacred to That God.

There are some pretty traditions
connected with the use of the mistle-
toe at this season OF the year that
date back to the ancient celebrations,
declares the Detroit Free Press. The
ancient Brltons worshiped the god
Tutanes, the god of the sun. or course
the winter solstice, or the turning
point OF the sun In its course. the
change from decreasing to Increasing
length OF days, was an occasion for
rejoicing among that people. Their
customs, practiced by the Druid
priests, were therefore appropriate
They went out at this season of the
year to gather the revered mistietoe,
and II is significant THAT they cared
for none but that which grew upon the
trunk of an oak tree, which was sacred
to the sun god. Two white bullocks
we're led out and tied to the oak tree
upon which the plant was found.
When the mistletoe had been detached
by the priests the bullocks were sacri.
ficed. The mistletoe was hung up
above the doors of the houses to insure
good luck for the year that was about
to begin. In Normandy the plants are
still gathered In great quantities and
shipped to England and America for
what purposes We well know. The
hanging up of the mistletoe seems to
reflect somewhat the custom Of the
Druids and the Britons OF centuries
ago.
The mistletoe grows in England and
parts OF France. especially on apple
trees. So closely does II cling to the
trees that II saps their life and often
kills them.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09
WANTED MULE TO KICK HIM
One Time When Che Smart Drummer
Was Off in His Calcu-
lations.

you know that old game. of
course" said the Chicago drummer.
you are walking along the street and
a man comes running after you with
fat wallet in his hand and says he
saw 1t fall from your pocket You
want the wallet, but you don't want
TO open it in the presence of the man.
Therefore you so down to your pocket
for q couple of dollars to reward his
honesty. Then you make a sneak for
some place where you can count the
cash, and your knees grow weak as
you discover that the fatness of the
wallet is owing TO slips of newspaper.
i've had them try that little game
on me half a dozen times and always
got the laugh on them. A month ago.
however, in St Louis, | was walking
about with an old hayseed when a
fellow presented the wallet and said
dropped 1t. | smilingly denied II, and
he rendered II to old hayseed. He bit
at once and gave up dollar.
Then | opened on him and called
him names and made his heart ache.
and | didn't stop talking until we had
reached hotel where we could inves-
tisate. Say, | want TO hire a mule to
kick me for the next year! That wal
let contained $1,000 OF as good money
as Uncle Sam ever turned out, and the
old chap from the turnip fields was
Just that much ahead. | tried 10 ar
que an even whack. being we were
both together, but he stuffed the wad
down into hind pocket, shook his
head and replied:
Not any, my friend. Gooseberries
won't be more than half a crop this
year. and this will help me pull
through nicely!'
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09
AUTO WITH KITCHEN ANNEX
In Which Negro Chef Prepares Lunch
con While Going Thirty Miles
an Hour.

A sensation was created the other day
on the Pelham Bay road by touring
car that had a kitchen annex. While
the machine was merrily bowling along
at some 80 miles an hour negro chef
prepared luncheon over q little oil or
possibly electric stove. reports the New
York Sun.
Spectators laughed and chsersd; small
boys ran after the auto. II seemed
either the limit of human progress or the
Quintessence Of American humor.
The car was light green. inclosed with
glass as to front and sides. Three men
and three women passengers sat on the
side seats facing one another.
Between them a narrow folding table
that had been lately used as card table
and a phonograph stand was set with
plates. cups, knives and forks. The
table had racks like those used on ship
board to keep the dishes from jolting
away.
The kitchen was folding sort OF box
that hung over and projected from the
tail Of the car. II was Just big enough
to contain the small stove and an ar
ray OF long spoons, pots and pans OF
aluminium hung on hooks.
The negro chef, belted at the waist
and securely strapped. stood on the
Threshold of the kitchen and manip-
plated the utensils. Just as the car
came near the chef was heard to shout:
Don't go so fast, boss! done lost
lamb chop back in de road"
SLOW down little," said lavender
veiled woman to the chauffeur.
Whats that2 A lunch wagon?" in
Quired one Of the spectators.
"I'll find the lamb chop. mister"
eagerly cried a small boy.
The tourists did not seem to see any
thing funny In the situation. AS the car
slowed down they unfolded their nap
kins and prepared to attack the sizzling
chops that we're not lost by the way
side.
A rich boarding house aroma mingled
with smell OF gasoline and the fiowery
efiuence of country fields. A oan OF
condensed coffee and q tall bottle
marked Rhine" showed that the lunch
con would be complete.
When the car had passed on the Oldest
inhabitant OF Pelham Bay turned to an
other spectator and said:
Il guess this V about The limit Of what
I'm going to see. Only two thsnss more
could arhappen-to have people born In
them mobiles and - threw the eoSpeas
Of ths dssa evssbeasa IKE Nv = -
-
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09
Ridiculous.

1T is really ridiculous" said Mr.
Figg. ito see the style the Hepderbys
put on, when everybody knows that
they are as poor as-as poor as"
Plaster" suggested the youthful
son and heir.
Poor as what?" asked his parent,
sternly.
Poor as plaster-porous plaster.
Don't you seer"
The indignant father blew out his
cheeks.
Now. look here. Mrs. F." he said,
"if you don't send that impudent imp
&c bed in ive minutes I'll take him
In hand myself! I'm not going to
have any new humorists In this
house! !"-Stray Stories.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09
1,ypesetting Machines.

In answer to the query. How old
are typesetting machines2" the Lon
don Chronicle prints an extract from
a copy of the local Herald OF 1928:
"Dr. Church Is now at Birmingham
preparing his new printing machine
The compositor has only TO sit down
at this curious mechanism as he would
at a piapoforte. and as he strikes the
keys the types all fall from the case
into their proper places with veloci
~ that keeps pace with the most rapid
speaker. The form having been
worked of. the type moves into the
melting pot. from which It Is returned
recast into It's original state. without
any diminution of material. and
thence distributed into the case quite
new. One OF these machines placed
at the bar OF the house Of commons
would always insure q correct report
OF the debate. DR.. Church. the In.
ventor. Is a native of Boston. in new
England"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09
FIRM FRIEND OF FINLAND.
Untiring Efforts Of Empress Alex
andra for the Grand
Duchy.

The Dannebrog publishes long and
fought and suffered for the rights OF
his country" warmly praising the En-
press Alexander for her efforts in be-
half of freedom in Finland. and giving
a long account OF the intrigues which
her majesty encountered in the course
of her labors for the sake OF the
grand ducy. The writer declares that
II is n great mistake 10 believe that
last years policy was carried out with
the consent OF Empress Alexander
She was always against the policy of
NJ. de Plehve and Gen. Bobrikoff.
Since January. 1901, the empress has
not left any means untrled nor spared
country so near to her heart. The
writer says that he had opportunities
or witnessing events at close quarters
and for the sake OF history will tell
only the truth. When the Empress
Alexander saw that Gen. Bobrikoff
brutalized Finland and compromised
Russian internal policy, she did ali in
her power to secure the appointment
OF the liberal Prince Sviatopoik- Mirski
as governor general. He was willing to
accept the post. When Gen. Bobrikoff
however. became aware OF this he sue
ceeded in persuading the imperial sem
ate OF Finland. through the secretary
Of state. M. G. Linder, to declare in
spite OF the unanimous feeling in the
handbag and the country, that Gen.
Bobrikoff proved victorious. He and
M. de Plehve, with the greatest au-
dacity, assured the car that the Firms
greeted the new law with the deepest
thankfulness. The truth was that
never was any law hated like this one.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09
Shot Out.

Look at Bottle-Nose Ben. for in
stance" said the earnest exhorter. "It
was the Demon Rum that made him
the one-eyed, low-browsd sot that he
10 to-day"
mot altogether, parson." said Alkaii
Ike. 1T mebbe made him a low
browed sot, but 1t was my good old
gun that made him one-eyed."-Catho-
tic Standard and Times.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09
Joak on the Iceman.

"Will you have emmy ise twoday lady.
says the ise man two the womun"
mo, guess mott. she says, Ide ruth
have a tun of kole."
explanation-she ment thatt II was
getting two kool foar ise & awlmoasi
hott enuff for kole this is OF mine
George McDermott, office boy" In the
Boston Post.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09
Honest Pawnbroker

In the window Of West side pawn.
shop is what appears to be diamond
ring. The pawnbroker, with an unusual
amount of humor and truthfulness, has
the following sign attached to IL:
almost a diamond. Price $780,
N. Y. Sun.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09
Reason Enough.

I've just been reading that learned
Egyptologist's account OF the funeral
OF Rameses," said Jokely. TITS a won.
der the whole place wasn't pinched."
"Why?" asked Cokeley.
We'll, 1t was Pharoah layout" -
Brooklyn Eagle.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09

First Thespian-Ah! me lad, and how
runs the world with you to-day?
Second-Sadly, 4 faith most sadly
First-And how of your ambition to
tread the boards af the Melancholy
Dane
second-'Tis become like a pot OF
coffee.
First-Explain {?
Second-An egg settled 1t
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09
japanese in Seattle.

The Japanese form so considerable a
part Of the population of Seattle that
the government finds 1t convenient to
establish special pest office for them
where mail is received and distributed
among japanese only.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09

Pa Twaddles-What can we do to
keep Tommy from learning so much
profanity?
Ma Twaddles-You'll just have to
quit shaving yourself.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09

Pa Twaddles--I can't see why that
young idiot who is calling on Molly
hasn't sense enough to 60. It's mid
night.
Tommy Twaddles-'Tain't his fault.
He can't go-sister's settin' on him.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09

Talesman--I wish to be excused
from serving on the jury
Judge-What 10 your reason ?
Talesman-I am very absent-mind-
ed.
iudge-Can't excuse you. Absence
Of mind is the best qualification for =
ir-ryman.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09

They're going to change the name
OF the team next season"
What will they be called ?"
"The Anarchists.
'sWhy ?"
Because they're such bum throw.
ers."
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09
His Lunacy under Good CONTROL

His Lunacy Under Good Control.
She-Suppose were to die, what
would you do?
He-I should almost be crazy.
Would you marry again7"
We'll. would hardly bs as crazy
az that"-Puck.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09

Housewife--How can you tell when
yorr iron 10 too hotP
Laundress-sure, I en- smell tn
clothes = scorchin'. An they GIT al
brown.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09
Isn't n Wife,s 1dea

Howell-A man is considered limo.
cent until he is proved guilty.
Powell-Singie man, aren't you?-
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09

The Thermometer-lt seems to me
you've sunk pretty low.
The Mercury-Now, don't b. hard
on me just because I've taken drop
too much.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09

what 10 ct ?"
~ the stun In that bottle bay rumf"
"Mercy, mo- It's mucilage.
II guess that's why can't get my
zap or
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09

She broke her garter right in two
While practicing gymnastics;
''I'd use my gum, but that won, { do,
She said, "for gum, alas stick!
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09

"Why does Maud always get stock
ings with clocA- IN them P"
VI suppose she sets them on tick. .
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09

Dollylspitefully)-I didn't see you
at the Van Lottado's ball.
Polly lsweetlyj Il suppose not.
There was such a crowd of men around
me.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-09

You meet your neighbor with hearty
word
you are a candidate) and says "How
are you ?"
by Joye :" says he, 81 haven't reg
istered."
Wouldn't that JAR you ?
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-07-01
One Dollar Saved Represents Ten
Dollars Earned.

The average man does not save to ex-
coed ten per cent of his earnings. He
must spend nine dollars in living eX-
penses for every dollar saved. That
being the case he cannot be too careful
about unnecessary expenses. Very
often a few cents properly invested, like
buying seeds for his garden, will save
several dollars outlay later on. 1t is the
same in buying Chamberlain's Collie,
Cholera and Diarrheea Remedy. 1t
costs but a few cents, and bottle of it
in the house often saves a Doctors bill
of several dollars. For sale by w. j..
Sedberry
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-07-01
Official Route for Epworth Leaguers
10 Denver.

Official announcement is made by the
State Chairman of Transportation that
for the 9TH International Epworth
League Conference to be held at Denver
July 9Th to 9th, the Fort Worth & Dem
ver City Railway ('Denver Road'O has
been selected as the Official Route'from
Texas and that in connection with that
line arrangements have been perfected
for Special service leaving Fort Worth
at 9:55 a. m. July 4th, the schedule be-
ing such as 10 put Delegates and friends
in Denver early the following afternoon.
In addition to the always up-to-date
regular service available via that route,
which includes Palace Sleepers and
Cafe Cars, the special arrangements also
provide for the operation of first class
Pullman Tourist Sleepers, through, in
which entirely satisfactory sleeping ac-
one-half the usual expense. In other
words, upon a basis Of two person to
double berth, individual expenses for
through sleeping car accommodations
need not exceed 81 .25 from Fort Worth
to Denver.
| AS the passage rate will be but one
fare plus $500 for the round trip and
tickets will be good for stop-overs, also
good for 60 days for return, and as I'M
usually low rate side trips will be avail
able from Denver to the numerous adj
jacent resorts and points of attraction
in and along the mountains, it is antic
ipated that Texas Leagues villas they
most undoubtedly should, be on
hand in large numbers.
Aa strong effort is to be made to-
ward securing the next International
Conference for Texas, many pastors and
other church workers will head delega-
tons from their respective charges and
communities in the interest of accomp-
fishing the end referred 10; hence it is
foregone conclusion that Grand Old
Texas will be strongly and enthusiast
ically represented and that, among the
many thousands who will he present
from every section of the country, Texas
and it's claims will be made manifest
and become justified through its dele.
cations.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-07-01

The folloing is taken from late
bulletin issued by the University
Of Texas: Zone very insignificant
argument for municipal water
works is the fact that two hundred
and five water works plants in the
United States were changed from
private to public ownership from
1900 to 1897, while only were
changed from public to prite own
ership. In Texas the majority Of
our cities have found it advantage
Gus to own their water works and
sewerage plants. For not only are
public health and economy thus
insured, but efficient fire protection
as we'll; because private companies
are concerned primarily with pro-
fits; municipal plants with the good
of the community. Public owner
ship also reduces friction with con.
sumers, and insures perfect coop.
Grafton between the water works,
sanitary and health departments. "
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-07-01
INDEPENDENCE DAY.
We're sort of independent folks,
AS all the wide world knows:

We're sort of independent folks,
AS all the wide world knows:
We're stanch and loyal to our friends
And just unto our foes.
And if ye'd know why this is so
The secret I'll give tongue
On Independence we were fed
When we were very young.
We're quick and bold to speak our mind
Our principles are plain;
'Tis Equal risghts to every one,
And let the people reign
Why we declare so free and fair
here will let you know
We fought Declaration through
A long, long time ago.
We're prompt to act and strong to do.
And nations all confess
That we have spelled in letters grand
The mighty word Success"
We're quick to act, and tits a fact,
We're handy in fight,
And victory is with our arms
Because we back the right.
We're somewhat noisy. too, at times,
Whene'er our hearts are glad,
And there is one day of the year
In which we're never sad.
So lift the voice and all rejoice
And give emotions play;
1t is the nations natal morn,
Glad independence day.
BY Arthur j Burdick.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-07-01

The Grand Saline Sun contends
that throughout the domain of ma.
ture there is law of average that
forever obtains, otherwise chaos
wousd soon result. The defcien.
cles of one season are compensated
for the fullness Of the others. If
we do our duty nature can be re-
lied upon to fulfill its part, Aftes
all our complaints and prophesies
of evil, likely as not, by the first
days of fall, the crop conditions in
this section may be just as prom
Using as if everything had been
done in the usual order and at the
proper time.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-07-01
sl.4sO,i39.2O3.
sS Edited by MRS. n. A. BENeFiELD. e

And now it is estimated that "the
American people during the fiscal year
1904, paid for Intoxicating liquor of
various kinds 81 AGO, 139, 2aS." Nearly
one billion and half dollarsl This is
about half again as much as our nation
al debt at present, which is little less
than 81, 000.0O0 600. 1t is an amount
about equal to the amount invested in
our American navy at present. 1t is
an amount about equal to the amount
which we expend every year for food,
for clothing, for education, for Home
and Foreign Missions-ali combined.
In other words, If instead of spending
their money for strong drink the Amer
lean people should spend it for those
other things, they could pay of the
national dept in less than a years
time. They could build another navy
similar to our present one in year, or
have the money with which to build it.
They could eat twice as much food. or
twice as good food; could send their
children to school twice as long or to
twice as good schools, and they could
send twice as many missionaries to
home and foreign lands telling the story
of Jesus and his love. But instead of
that-what?
Can anyone contemplate these facts
and figures and feel that we as nation
are not on the very ragged edge of
imminent peril? Are we going stark
crazy? Man, wake up! Oh, nation,
thy end roaches!-Inter-State Sen
| tinel
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-07-01

? The price Of admission to the
Lewis and Clark Exposition on
Sunday has been cut to % cents,
the weekly price being 80 cents.
The fair is open at o'clock each
Sunday afternoon, remaining open
until II O'Clock at night, The ex-
hibit palaces are open, but the
amusement enterprises on the Tgai!
are not allowed to do business on
Sunday. There is always music
by the best bands in the county.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-07-01
A Royal Steak
LATHR0P & GRAY'S MARKED.

A thief in Milwaukee stole a
toothbrush, retail price 15c. whole
price about sc, and in less than a
week after this theft he began a
Jail sentence Of one year. About
the same time Milwaukee banker
banker is not even in jail.-Bryan's
Commoner.