Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1905-11-18


Kalsomlning. Life.
Madam--Be sure to put plenty OF
nuts in the cake. Cook--I'll crack no
more nuts to-day Me jaw hurts me
already Harper's Bazaar.
Il don't like the man" why not2''
Il hadn't been talking to him i've
minutes before he said was an IDIOT
why the delay Fudge.
Very Quick: First Russian-You
say the fight was quickly over? Sec
end Russian-Yes, it was finished be-
fore you could say Jackopolinsky Ro-
manoffopolotowsky
Office Boy-Wy, cert, l want moro
| pay; I'm only getting -four" a week,
and give my mother all | earn. Pro-
prietor-What do you do with the 9TH
| or three and half?--Puck
Willle--Papa. if / was twins would
You buy the other boy banana, too?
Papa-Certalnly. my son Willie
Well, papa, YOU surely amt going to
cheat me out of another banana just
because I'm all in one piece Judge.
Bronco Bill--~What did Tough Temp
ktns die of? Grizzly Pete--Well. the
poor guy needed change of air an"
couldn't get It, Bronco Blll--Lung
trouble? Grizzly Pete-No; he was
lynched,
Il got fine job in de business col
lege." "Gee-wot dyer do?" DE
writn' teacher hired me 70 shake de
table when de new pupils write, This
Is a sample of my handwriting before
| began taking lessons Exchange.
Brilliant Billy Bill had a bill
board, Bin also had hoard bill. rhe
board bill bored Bill SO that Bin sold
lhe billboard to pay his board bill. So
after Bin sold his billboard to pay his
board bill the board bill no longer
ibor'd Bin
Useless Expense: Lawyer Now,
see here; before | take your ease
want 10 know If you're guilty Pris-
oner--Am guilty? Dyer suppose I'd
be fool enough ter hire the most cx-
pensivc lawyer in the town if | wuz
inherent?
do you know" said Sunday
school teacher addressing a new pupil
in the infant class, that you have Il
soul?" Course do" replied the lit
tie fellow, placing his hand over his
heart, Il can feel II tick. "--M0berly
MOI Monitor
The Indian Bureau; i've been
radin'," said Pat, IA good dale in the
papers about bureau for the Indians.
Now, / don't believe In their havin' Il
bureau can't afford TO have a M
reau mesif! | kape me papers in a
box under the bed"
Parson--Of course you are not afraid
TO die, Brother Jones Your 6ood wife,
who went before, will meet you at
the pearly gates, you know. Sick Man
Yes; and peach Of n time I'll have
explaining to her all I've done for the
past ten years!-Judge.
Another Heartless Monopolist: Mrs.
IGabble-No, indeed, / don't have that
woman doctor any more MRS. Query
Why, / thought you liked her Mrs.
Gabble-Oh, she got to be hateful. She
used to keep the thermometer In my
mouth nearly all the time, so that /
couldn't say IA word while she monop-
olizcd the conversation.
A Lively Animal; lie was a good
Inatured German, and his face fairly
Ibeamed as he walked into "A drug
store The first thing that caught his
attention was an electric fan buzzing
IbusiIy on the soda counter He looked
at II with great interest, and then
turned to the clerk ''Py gollyw he
said. smillngly "dats a liny squirrel
got you got IN dare, amt idT"--L ipp'n-
colts Magazine,
Refined Pork. Harold was playing
keep store" and had prevailed upon
thls grandmother to become one Of his
patrons When she appeared in the
role If customer he said Have some
nice vegetable or fruit or meat? Here
Ii4 some extra nice boiled ham. Have
soine?" mo, thank you" she said, II
don't Ike nam" "Oh, but | think
yon'd ike this. ma'am 1t is hardly
Ib1 hammy LppIncotts.
A Memory for Dates: y school
Teacher was trying to Impress upon a
-cbolars mind that Columbus discov-
cred America I'm l482 Now, John"
Inc said. Il will tell YOU the date In
I~nyme. SO that you won't forget It. In
g,.,,rtaa, hundred and uinrty-tWo Co