davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21
Relieved.

Timid Youth have-er-come to
ask a g-great favor of you, sir, l.
err
Stern Parent-Well, what is i,
young man?
Timid Youth love your d
daughter, sir, and c-came to ask her
hand in m--marriage,
Stern Parent-Oh, is that all? Take
her, my boy, and welcome. | thought
at first you wanted to borrow money.
-Cassell's.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21
The u. 8. Dent. OF Agriculture

gives to Salzer's Oats its heartiest en-
dorscment. Salzer's New National Oats
yielded in 1904 from 100 to 300 bu. per
acre in 80 different states, and you, MI
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21

II manage to keep my boarders long
err than you do" said the first landlady.
"Oh, | don't know rejoined the other.
"You keep them SO thin that they look
longer than they really are
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21

The Baltimore clergyman who inquiries:
"What shall we do with our old men,
labors under a misapprehension. The lon
gevity and the precocity enjoyed by the
present generation leave us neither old
men nor children Washington Star.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21
Sounding the Praises of PeruG0.

Mrs. Frances Wilson, 80 Nelson St,
Clinton, Mass, writes:
" Had you seen me at the time Of my
illness and now, you would not wonder
that | take delight in sounding the
praises of Pcruna.
MY ailment was n severe cold which
attacked the bronchial tubes and lungs.
al followed your special directions
and after using six bottles of Pernna, I
was on my feet again. Think Peruna
a wonderful medicine"
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21

"Gracious! l cant find the right de-
partment," sighed the exhausted shop
per. "Oh, my! I'm nearly dead"
Undertaking department in the base,
ment, ma'am," suggested the prompt and
attentive iioorwalker Philadelphia Press.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21

Odd you eve attend a cooking
school?" asked the Chicago girl.
NO replied her Boston cousin, but
| graduated from a college Of gastrt Il
omy."
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21
QUALITY IS OUR T

ssas:a is n story that cold has been dis
,,versi in Ireland. 1t IS startling to
LUX vi how many citizens OF the United
stetss and New York policemen have run
WY from a good thing. Cincinnati IN
,Liipr,
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21

Pity the boy who, at his birth, is SEN
fenced to idleness for life,-Chicago Rec
ord-llerald.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21

That man who is wasting his time in
invcnting thornless cacti and iadcless
flowers ought to do something practical,
and invent a headacheless Welsh rarebit.
Washington Post.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21
On a Plain Subject in Plain
language.

The coming wintcrwill cause at least
one half Of the wOmcn to have %catarrh,
colds, coughs, pneumonia or consump-
ton. Thousands of women will lose
tbair 1ives and tens of thousands will
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21
An Annoving Tmptiness.

Dear" said the poets wife. You
are worried about something, What
have you on your mind?"
Nothing. That's what worries me-"
Kansas City Star.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21
TRUTHS.
Bad temper turns the wine of intellect

Bad temper turns the wine of intellect
to vinegar.
Some donkeys have long ears, While
some wear silk hats.
The limit of many a mans charity is
the dispensing Of free advice.
If love is intoxicating, is it any Won
der that marriage produces Jim iams in
HAS casts?
Unless you have a good reason Tor
doing a thing, you have an excellent ex-
cuse for not doing it,
The man who can i'll afford to travel
generally enjoys it more than the man
who can well afford 1t.
1t is a pretty hard task for some Wild
ows to keep up a sorrowful appearance
long enough to collect the life insurance.
A Stove-Lifter.
She-Give me the name OF a good
stove-lifter?
He-Well, kerosene has been known
to do it.-Yonkers Statesman.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21

The first successful -four mill was erect.
ed in London in 1904.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21

"You are sweet enough to eat" said
the very young man who imagined he
had the love market cornered.
Thanks rejoined the matter-of-
fact maid, There's a small restaurant
Just around the corner"
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21

A Brooklyn woman complains that her
husband hasn't spoken to her in nine
months-and he's a barber. The lady is
unquestionably right in concluding that
the man is crazy.--Buiialo Express.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21

ror whipping post has lately been sug-
tested as a cure for about everything cX-
.ept ircnzled finance, Why not Try 1t on
that IN. Y. MUl.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21
JEST AND JOLLITY.

Softleigh-~I say, doctah, do you-aw
think | have the bwain fevah?
Doctor-No. indeed; but you have the
fever, all right.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21
SIND 10c IN STAMPS

and this notice to the John A. Salzer Seed
Co., La Crosse, Wis, and you will get
their big catalog and lots of farm seed
samples free. X. IL
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21

itching, Blind Bleeding or Protruding Piles.
Your druggist will refund money If PAzo
OINTMENT fails to cure in q to Ii days. SOC.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21

was broken, owing to irregular action
of the kidneys. was suffering intense
ly from severe pains in the small of my
back and through the kidneys and an
noyed by painful passages of abnormal
sccretions. No amount Of doctoring
relieved this condition. l began taking
Doan's Kidney Pills and | experienced
quick and lasting relief. Doan's Kid
ney Pills will prove a blessing to all
sufferers from kidney disorders VIII
will give them a fair trial"
Foster Milburn Co, Buffalo, N. y,
proprietors. For sale by all druggists,
price so cents per box.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21

Speltz or Emmer, above illustrated,
gives 50 bushels grain and four tons hay
besides per acre. It's wonderful. Salzer's
seeds are pedigree seeds, bred up through
careful selection TO big yields.
Per Acre,
Salzer's Beardless Barley yielded l2l bu.
Salzer's Home Builder Corn. 800 bu.
Speltz and Macaroni Wheat.... so bu.
Salzer's Victoria Rape......... 10000 lbs.
Salzer's Teosinte Fodder. ...... l60, 900 lbs.
Sal2er's Billion Dollar Grass. $4,000 lbs.
Salzer's Pedigree Potatoes ..... 1000 bu.
Now such yields pay and you can have
them. Mr.. Farmer. in 1905.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21

I'm afraid you're not very WISE"
said the fair girl.
"Why?" demanded the persistent
sutton,
Because "a word to the wise is suf-
lcient' and | have said mo- to you"
Eyes, but Pm wise enough to know
that a w0man's No may eventually
mean yes
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21
10 Cure n Gold in One DIV

10 CUTt u CUIu III UHt DHy
cage Laxative Bromo Qulnlne Tablets. All
druggist refund the money If IL fails TO cure.
nv Groves signature is on each box. 25c.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21

Cant yer do a little somethin' fer
an old soldier?" whined Tired TifIlns.
well, | don't know" replied the
portly citizen. IF you can show your
discharge papers, | may do something
for you"
81 haln't been discharged yet, boss"
replied the hobo. ITS a soldier of
fortune | am"
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21
RELIEF.

]. w. Walls, Super.
intendento Of Streets OF
Lebanon, Ky, says:
.. Ny nightlY rest
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21
KEEP
PERUNA
IN The
HOUSE

nate ones. Little or norisk need be run
if Peruna is kept in the house and at
the first appearance of any symptom Of
catarrh taken as directed on the bottle.
Peruna is a safeguard, representative,
o specific, a cure forall cases of catarrh,
acute and chronic, coughs, colds, CON
sumption, etc.
For free medical advice, address DR..
S. Il. Hartman, President of The Hart
man Sanitarium, Columbus, Ohio.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1905-01-21

acquire some chronic all
ment from which they will
never recover.
Unless.you take the nee
essary precautions, the
chances are that you Cwho
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-06-21
WASHINGTON WOMAN
LOSES At TENNIS
Miss Weimer Is Unexpectedly Defeated
in Philadelphia Cricket Club
Tourney.

PHILADELPHIA, June 2l.-rhe nine
teenth annual women's championship
lawn tennis tournament was started
yesterday afternoon on the grounds of
the Philadelphia Cricket Club at Wis
sahickon Heights before a representa-
tive attendance. Owing to the absence
Of the champion, Amy Sutton. who is
at present striving for international
s,onors in England this years contest
iE singles is rather more open than
usual, and as the winner of the final
round will necessarily become champion
for the ensuing twelve months, the ear
lIer matches are being watched with
more than usual interest.
The surprise of the day occurred in
the victory of Miss e V Howell, of
the Philadelphia Cricket Club, over Miss
Weimer, of Washington, by two sets
10 one. The latter has always been con-
sidered one of the strongest Of the
visiting players, and it was quite ex-
pected she would win her way through
to the semi-tinal round at least: but
the local PLAYER put up such a strong
game that she captured the first set
right off the reel by six games to one.
Miss Weimer showed to much better
advantage in the second set, which she
won by nine games to seven after a
to the front once more in the third and
decisive set. however, and, outplaying
her opponent at all points, won by six
games to two
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-06-21
WASHINGTON GROcERS
VISIT MARSHALL HALL
Section A.

For many days members and friends
of the Retail Grocers' Protective Asso-
citation have been looking forward to
today-Grocers' Day-for this IS the date
set for the annual excursion of the as
ISOLATION.
Promptly at 10 o'clock the steamer
Charles Manchester steamed away from
her wharf bound for Marshall Hall.
where the grocers and their guests Will
spend the day picnickirg.
Having learned of the number OF per-
sons who were DESTROYS IF attending the
excursion. two boats were provided for
the afternoon trip, which was begun at
$50 o'clock, and each carried pretty
nearly its full, quota of pleasure seek
ers
The committee on arrangements has
been busy for several weeks arranging
amusements for the exoursioHists. The
entertainments began Just as soon as
the afternoon boats arrived.
Two boats viii be IL readiness TO
carry down those who did not go down
in the morning or afternoon. The boa is
will leave at $50 O'Clock and will reach
Marshall Hall almost an hour before
dark.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-06-21
LUSH RAN INTO FENCE
AND BROKE HIS WRIST

WILMINGTON, June Plush, the
crack ''southpaw" pitcher for the Will
Transport baseball team. broke his left
wrist yesterday in the game with the
Wilmington A. A in this city Lush
was playing right field for the visitors,
and in the fourth inning started after a
foul fly that had been sent out toward
the rightheld bleachers. He did not
know he was so close 20 the fence that
skirts the field in front of the bleachers
and ran into it full speed. He put up
his hands to catch himself and was
hurled back TO the field by the force of
his own speed. He had his hands on
the ball. but dropped it.
He hurried TO the bench. and there il
was found he had broken his left wrist.
This Will put Lush out Of the game for
the rest of the season and win prob
ably impair his pitching arm for the
rest of his life He is one of the best
pitchers on the Williamsport saff, and
his absence will be a 'hig loss TO that
team.
Lush played with the Philadelphia
National League last year ard Is still
on the reserve list of that club
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-06-21
CAPITAL KNIGHTS
JUST DAzzLE HOSTS
-
Niagara Falls Pales Before the Glory of
Almas Mobiles at the Impe-
rial Council.

NIAGARA FALLS. N. Y, June 21.-
The thirty-first annual meeting of the
Imperial Council. Ancient Arabic Or
der of the Mystic Shrine, is in session
here. the first meeting having been
held yesterday, with a full representa-
ton of the 1890 members Of the order
present. ~
The members of the Almas Temple. of
Washington, D. c., are coming in for
great attention and admiration, their
uniforms and general appearance being
conspicuous by their grandeur and per-
lection The costumes alone worn by
the WashinGtonians are said to have
cost s., 800.
Their first halt was made at the
LAFAYETTE Hotel in Buffalo, N z, where
100 mobiles were watched with the great
est interest. The Zubee Band. of the
Aln1as Temple, wore pajamas, bat the
simplicity of the band was made UP for
by the costumes of the mobiles. which
were entirely Arabic and gorgeous in
every detail
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-06-21
JOLLY FAT MEMS CLUB
HAVING A GOOD TIME

The jolly Fat Men are having one of
the many enjoyable tines in their lives
today at River View. for this is the
date OF their fourteenth annual excur-
sion. and things are being made merry
on the banks of the Potomac
The first boat left the Seventh street
wharf at 9:45 o'clock, when big crowd
accompanied members of the club 10
the popular resort. Again at 2:30
o'clock there was another boat load for
River View, and upon the arrival there
the series of athletic games began.
Each year the Jolly Fat Men ar
range fine program in which they
participate. much 30 The amusement of
their friends. All sorts of races have
been arranged ard there arc contests
enough on the program to satisfy even
the veriest sport.
The last boat will leave Seventh
street this evening at 6:45 O'Clock. when
n large number of friends OF the pop
ular club who could not go down
earlier In the day will join the merry
makers and return to Washington by
moonlight.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-06-21
ANDE RSON WANTS
LONGER LAY OFF.
Saws He Will Join Wash
ington in Boston.
SICK WIFE REASON GIVEN
Manager StahI Orders Him to Report
at Once-Money to Buy
Hitters.

Big John Anderson has at last made
his voice heard in the baseball wilder
ness.
Manager Stahi received a, telegram
from him this morning. stating that
his wife was still sick and that he did
not care to leave her at this time He
added that he would Join the club in
Boston.
Stahl wired back, ordering him to re-
port at once in Washington, but has
not yet heard whether the order will
be obeyed. Anderson's telegram was
dated from Worcester, and that seems
% sci at rest the still persistent rumOrs
that he is either in New York trying
to get money out OF Clarke 7Grifffh,
manager of the New York Americans,
or has jumped to an independent club
Badly Needed.
Anderson's services are badly needed
by Washington at present and the man
agement and fans are extremely anxious
for him tC get into the game at once.
Ills ab se.icv, coupled with that of Stahl
and Hill. had much to do with breaking
up the team and causing the run of lost
games which has made the local outlook
so gloomy, but if his wife is really as
sick as he intimated in his telegram, he
can hardly be expected TO appear again
for several days.
The slump in the last three weeks has
thoroughly aroused the owners of the
club, and al a meeting of the directors
Yesterday ii was voted to spend several
thousand dollars for players who can
hit. Anybody with the ability to crack
out the timely bingle can oet a Job in
Washington. but he can also get one IN
any other major league city and it is
hard 10 see how the purchases are to be
made.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-06-21
WheeI0ck Not Present
At Sheepshead Bay
Rumor That Big Met Had Been Disciplined
Denied-August Belmont Said to Be En-
deavoring to Form Racing Trust

the only member of the Nets govern
ing committee who is recognized in any
way by the track owners, who are said
10 be unwilling to make concessions OF
any Kind unless the ringleaders who To-
mented the recent trouble are deposed-
The Nets are in IA docile mood just now
md are still hoping that the non-mem-
hers headed by Frank Tyler will event
ually be driven to the back line again.
Just what Burke, who has all along
been in favor of peace, can accomplish
remains to be seen.
A Racing Trust.
Racing circles aree.4,,;;- - 7T,y..--.crs these
days. One is that August Belmont is en-
deavoring to create racing trust
and aspires to the purchase of the
Brooklyn and Aqueduct race courses,
both now under the control of Philip J..
Dwyer and his associates
Good authorities last night denied
that there was any foundation for the
story Ii is a fact that Andrew Miller.
Perry Belmont. and other members of
the Jockey Club are largely interested
in new course In New Hampshire
about thirty miles from Boston, and
this Will naturally be under the control
of officials of the Jockey Club. August
Belmont is heavily interested in the
Belmont Park, Washington. and Buffa-
10 race tracks, but he does not own all
The stock in those courses by good
deal, and there is also good authority
for the assertion that he will not at
present invest in a9;y more race courses
in this State.
1t is not unlikely, however. that the
owners of the Jamaica course and per-
liza ps :he Brighton Beach properties af-
ter one years trial uf the new condf-
tons in racing may feel like disposins
OF their properties because they may
not feel satisfied WITH the much smaller
dividends which will be paid upon their
stock as a result of the seasons bust
ness If the owners desire to sell there
NAV be found in the ranks of the Jockey
Club some fifty in all, more than enough
gentlemen interested in the future g
the tart who might be willing to accept
small dividends and maintain the
courses named. This or something like
this is almost a solemn obligation on
the part of the Jockey Club to breeders
and owners of race horses This is one
reason why racing is now being estab-
lished at different points outside the
State Meantime it is significant fact
that the sales of thoroughbred yearlnss
now going on were never ia more
healthy state.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-06-21
TAYLOR TALKED,
BUT SPOKE NOT
Dummy Bounced for Roast
ing Umpire.
"HAD WHEELS IN HIS HEAD"
Sassed Umpire O'Day in Sign Language
and Official Took Exception
to Remarks.

CINCINNATI, June 21.-The baseball
rooters in this town who have been De-
quilting the tedious hours by pityfally
floating beer mugs at the heads o. the
New York Nationals yesterday found a
new diversion. Dummy" Taylor, the
deaf and dumb pitcher of the Giants,
supplied it. and put his whole heart ana
hand into the work.
up of plays which kept Umpire Hank
O'Day trotting hither and thfther
handing OUT close decisions one OF
these decisions did not meet with the
approval of Mr.. Taylor. Nature SO ham
dicapped him that he could not say, as
I bumbly opine that in this instance
Your usually keen and accurate Juot-
n.en- is unintentionally at fault"
. "You Have Wheels!"
So Mr. Taylor fell back upon his digIts.
He strcde angrily toward O'Day. and
the grandstand observed a lightning
movement Of the hands. Mystic symbol
followed mystic symbol. and the crowd
kept guessing what it all meant. Sud-
denly o'pay. toe, STROBE forward and
maiesticaiv waved Mr. Taylor from the
field. Still frantically making rotary
movements around his temples. Dunn
my dawdled away down the green md
disappeared in the dim vista-stili gyra1-
ing his hands.
1.Why did you put him out of the
game?" demanded the official kicker of
the Giants, hotlv.
O'Day, unmindful of the evident facts,
retorted even more hotly:
Back, Why. he said l had wheels
in my head.'
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-06-21
KNIGHTS OF PYTHiAS
HOLD THEIR EXCURSION

The Knights of Pythias of this juris-
diction gave their annual excursion to
MARSHALL Hall yesterday The event,
which was given for the benefit of the
temple fund was in charge of a commit
tee selected from nineteen subordinate
lodges OF the District
The chief feature of the outing was
the competition drill or the uniform
rank companies. the contestants being
Caldwell Company. No. 7, and Wash
ington Company No. l. The judges of
the contest were Capt. Samuel F. Shreve.
Ldeuts. w. A. McCathran and John W.
Oehman, OF the District National Guard.
The drill was very interesting and both
companies ELECTED much applause by
their precision of movements and mill
tary bearings. The decision of the
judges gave the prizes to Caldwell Com
pany. No. {, the prizes consisting of a
bronze clock donated by NJ A. Leese.
and so in cash by the committee on ar
engagements
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-06-21
ARCANUMITES TO OBSERVE
ANNIVERSARY AT RIVER VIEW

Arrangements have been completed
for the observance of .'Arcanum
Lay" the twenty-eighth anniversary of
the Grand Council, Royal Arounum. on
Friday
IT has been decided TO observe the
day by an excursion to River View. The
council will give the excursion comp!i-
mentary 10 Its members and their
friends.
A sufficient number of boats Will be
supplied TO carry the guests down TO
River View, and -the committee. which
has been at work for some time has
arranged to provide adequat.. enter
tafnment ON the boat ard on the
grounds
Tickets for the excursion arc now in
the hands of the regents. and il is OK
pected that every member of the coun-
ell will help celebrate the day at River
View
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-06-21
TAFT TO GIVE MEDALS
TO NATIONAL GUARDS

Secretary of War Taft will present
more than coo service medals to mem
bers of the District militia on the White
Lot ellipse this evening at ESQ O'Clock.
Before the presentation begins there
will he parade of the National Guard.
and each organization will be reviewed
by Secretary Taft and Gen. George II.
Harfies
The men are to be decorated for their
long service in the citizen soldiery, and
the quality of their medals will be
reckoned by the number of years they
have been in the Guard.
The list OF medal winners Is headed by
General Harries. who will receive a gold
one for almost twenty years service.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-06-21

EXCELLENT FIELD
IN ADVANCE STAKES
Sysonby, Beldame, Tanya, Tradition,
and Oiseau to Battle for Turf
Supremacy.

NEW YORK. June H.-Every day de-
velops q news candidate for the Advance
Stakes. and 1T begins to look as If the
Coney Island Jockey Clubs weight for
age special on Saturday viii be the best
race seen so far this season
The probable field is:
Sysonby, III. Nicoi. ]. r. keene: Bel
dame. 121. ONeiIl. a. Belmont; Tradf-
ton, Jos, w. Davis, 8. Paget; Tanya, 106,
Hildebrand; H. P. Whitney: Oiseau. Ill.
I. Burns, j. Brady; Waterlight, Ill,
Shaw, j. B. Brady; Agile, Ill, ]. Mar
tin, Capt. S. S. Brown; Dolly Spanker,
123. Redfern. r. 4. Wilson.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-06-21
FORTUNE I'm oILCLOTH.

Charles nj. Bailey. of Baileysville.
Me, has made from S5.1c0.090 to $40. 00o,-
oOc as a manufacturer of oilcloth. He be-
gain in 1S47 In little barn. and now his
factory covers twenty-four acres of
floor space. Mr.. Bailey is 50 years DID,
but works every day, and when neces-
sity arises still takes his place at the
bench with his employees. One man
.aas worked for him over half century.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-06-21
Is THIS A JOKE
ON NED HANl0N?

ALTOONA. June N.-President j. r.
Bockel, oe the Altoona Tri-State League
Club, wired this evening to Edward
Hanlon, the famous manager of the
Brooklyn National League team, to ac-
cept the mana gement OF the local nine
at this place.
His response, which II Is thought will
be favorable. is awaited with great in
terest by the fans of this city