The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-12
HUM0R OF THE Day

III - y lawn Va 844s TX
He-Can't you give me little hope?
She-Why-er-yes. have a maiden
aunt who is dying to get married-Life.
'Borroughs has the happy faculty OF
making new friends wherever he goes
He has to. He owes all the old ones
Philadelphia Press.
Miss Richleigh-I understand Lord Knee
deigh has lost considerable money since he
has been in this country
Jaek-Then it is true that you have bro
Ken the Observation-Disclosures.
Bleeler-say. old chap. I'm in beastiy
bad luck; need money badly and haven't
the least idea where I can get it.
Baxter-Well, I'm glad to hear that-I
thought perhaps you had an idea you
could touch me for t.-Puck.
Naggsby-The last time I heard from
WItticus he was in New York a year ago
aSI1ng as a joke broker.
Waggsby-And the last heard from him
was SIX months ago. He was then back
on the farm broke 5oker.-Baltimore
Il suppose, madam said the architect.
you will want an electroller put in the
drawing room?"
Sure" answered Mrs. Neurich. II do
not know how to play one, but I'll begin
Chicago Daily News.
Poeticus-I want to write = poem that
viii express a universal senttment-some-
thing that ts felt not only by myself, but
by everyone that reads it,
Criticus-You have already done so.
Poeticus-Im afraid not-When?
Criticu IS latest sonnet. begins 7
Leader.
Jum-They say Brooke married to settle
Bo@With the girl?
Jum-No, with his creditors.-Princeton
Tiger
Is your little brother in the house, jim
Ssure he is. Don't yer see dat shirt OF
Leader.
How many fish have you caught?"
I thought you said you had BANKED
oh; was speaking of my line.''-TOwu
and Country.
Miss GoodIey-Bess says she's ready to
make up if you are.
Miss Cutting-TeIi her I'd be ready to
make up, too. If had a complexion as
muddy as Observation-Disclosures Ledger.
Judge-Have you anything to say be-
Bank Wreel1er-Yes. Don't the rules al
low you to take out time from my SEN
tCAANG C4udl 10 the 4euELl OF ElGL EllSeTaDl0
speech my lawyer made?-Cleveland
Leader.
Yes" said Breezem. who happened to
be ina reminiscent mood, during my
younger days sowed the wind, but la
wen what happened later2'' queried
Il married you" continued the alleged
head Of the matrimonial combine. Chs
caSo News
What can a fellow do when he gets to
the end Of his roper" nurmured the de-
Throw the cigar away and light a fresh
one" suggested the idiotic citizen cheer
fully.-Louisville Courier-Jou
That latter carrier would make a good
baseball pitcher . observed the fan
Because his delivery is so good. Port
land TELEGRAM.
II thought your husband had tidy sum
saved VI for a rainy day?'
yes, he did have, but he invested in
some watered stock, and got in over his
Customer like this piece of goods.
Tsilor~We'n make you pair Of pants
Customer (stinIy)-Pardon me! I don't
wear pants" How much for pair Of
Taiior-Wen make you pair Of trou-
sers for $S50-Baltimore Herald.
First Composer-well, old boy, you lock
happy. What have you been doing-writ-
Second Composer-No, there are wedding
marches enough already. I've got brand
new idea.
whats that?''
'T'm composing a divorce march
Translated for Tales from ''Meggendorfer
Batter"
First Duke-Weil. do you think Miss Van
Gullion intends to buy you?
Second Dul1e-My. dear boy,I don't know.
Some days I think she does. At other
times fear she is merely shopping
Hartford Times.
Mrs. Jones-And was her married life
Mrs Ms. De Kota-why, yes; it was a case
Of divorce at first sight.-Washington
at takes you pretty long time to de-
eide what to do, doesn't it?'' inquired Pep
.sSveu,'' replied chol1y. when finally
do make up my mind stick to it. There's
consistency, at any rate.
Yes, the consistency OF mush. "-Phila-
delphia Press.
lawyer who was doing the cross-exanina-
no answered the witness, who had
one arm in a sling and traces OF a siren
uous life upon his face. Il was run over
by an automobile last week'-Chicago
News.
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
TFrom the Chicago News.J
All men have wishbones, but only q
few have backbones.
Don't pay any attention to boasting
men and barking dogs.
Most old men are inclined to boast OF
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