davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-01-04

THE KING GANDEh.
Don't shoot Him or Your Get as
Crazy COot.

Don't shoot Him or Your Get as
Crazy ms COot.
Never hear tell of a king gander, |
s'pose? No: most folk hain't, The
sharps that write the bird books says
there amt no such thing. but | know
better. I've seen one.
There amt never but one king gan
der ut Il time. same's country never
has but one king Mt a time, but Il king
gnnder's real king, that's what he is.
II amt jest because he's the biggest
Gander of any or the knowin'est. It's
somcthin' more. He's kind of sa-
cred gandcr he is. and there amt a
wild goose that flies but knows 1t.
He's captain of 'em all, an it's only the
pick of the geese that flies with him.
Ner that amt all neither. What do
you s'pose became OF that big king gan
der Blll shot? Ever hear of q dead
gandcr helm carried off by his flock.
restin on their backs an them a-honk=
in out regular buryin' dirge? Well.
I've said enough. Fact is I've said all
dare say
But | tell you this: II ever you have
chanst TO shoot a king gander don't
you do IT. faint good luck. If you
don't believe 1t look Mt my brother Bill.
He killed one leastwnys he shot him
and then what happened? Or'y the
Lord and Bill IIuckins knows An
Bill II never tell. Why not? Cause
he's been as crazy as II coot ever since
yes. sir, crazy AZ IL coot, -Outing.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-01-04
BUILDINGS IN MINIATURE.
Architects often Make Clay Models
of important Structures.

Architects OFTEN Make Clay Models
of important Structures.
Although the architect Is still the
most important person in the planning
Of any big public or private building, he
often depends on the model maker and
not the craftsman to show his patron
lust how the structure Will look when
completed The model maker, in other
words, takes the architects drawings
and makes an exact counterpart Of the
building ON II small scale in clay
When theater Is to be constructed.
for example, such Il model H. made with
the greatest minuteness, and every de
tail Is looked at from the point OF view
Of the stage. thus avoiding the posi-
bility that when ii is too late some OF
the seats will be found quite out of
range of the performance. In other
buildings architectural details that ap-
pear excellent on paper are thus some
times discovered to be inharmonious
with the character OF the structure as
a whole and can he changed before the
actual process of their construction has
started. BY the use Of models, in fact,
nothing is left to chance and every
body can express his objections befor"
the work is too far advanced to make
the necessary changes seriously eXpen
Siyc
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-01-04
a TEST OENERVG.
One of the ways In which Indians
Duel to the Death

Among the Indian tribes the method
Of lighting duels differs. There are
some tribes where challenge to II duel
means inevitably that both men must
die When nm Indian feels uggrlcved
he demands combat The day for the
made the occasion of little celebru-
ton. The entire tribe assemblies The
braves sit In circle. behind them their
squaws and the young bucks.
The offended man is armed with n
rifle or shotgun. The challenged
principal is unarmed. At word both
men arise and face each other, the I'M
armed man barring his breast TO the
bullet of his adversary With eyes
riveted ON the little round hole mt the
end of the barrel pointed ut him, the
doomed man must face the protracted
ordeal of expecting death ut any in
slant without the least sign or weak
ening. The eXccutioncr may hold his
gun rs long as he pleases In order to
try to break down his enemy He may
raise it and lower it or hold it steadily
on the man under the frightful strain.
but not even with an eyeid must the
unfortunate bctray his anxiety. At
last the gun cracks. and the bullet
speeds Its way and the victim lies dy-
ing. The SLAYER hands the weapon To
relative or a friend of the deceased and
Is put through the same ordeal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-01-04

flower crowned god now, she fed back
along the path and In a moment had
disappeared in the woods.
Trenham woke from n slumber so
deep that his very identity was lost
Long. lazy shadows darkened the
sward about him. Who-w hat-where-
Something pressed upon his forehead.
and instinetiyely his hand went up. his
fingers cropping eagerly for some mean
ing In the soft, damp mass that met
their touch. Then they closed upon the
object and brought 1t around where his
eyes could help.
He stared at it in silence for mo
ment
Crowned, by Jove" was his dazed
exclamation when he ut last found
speech. The scrap of paper caught his
eye. and he detached II. smoothed 1t
out and looked at it with absorbed GU
rloSity
Il salute thee, great Pan" was scrib
hled thereon in a Girlish hand. And ut
the words light dawned upon him
Who was she, and what was she like?
How strange that she, too should haN :
been thrilled with the same weird
sense of the nearness of pagan gods!
The. dandelions were curling up like
tired children, but Trenham carried
the wreath home as carefully as If 1t
had been of the flowers of Eden. and
he smoked many pipes that night In
the soft gloom OF Norton's roomy porch.
no nj nj b.Ap
they would meet and whether her eyes
We're blue or gray and whether she was
tall or short dark or fair, his lady of
dreams.
Afterward he plumcd himself upon
having recognized her instantly, though
If the truth We're known 1t required no
great persplcuity. Asked to dinner by
the Stantons the nearest neighbors.
though three miles away-he had nc
ccpted ON the chance of getting some
clew to the young lady.
And he did At the sight of him the
only other guest, II young woman with
the bluest of eyes. gave n startled but
pleased look that flashed into her eyes
and out again so quickly that he would
scarce have been sure save for the
slight flush that back ~ up his theory.
Later on II TRANSFERRED elat she was the
one girl In the ncighborhood. and ma
irons. Trenham shrewdly argued, would
scarcely be up to such FRANKS or even
thinking of the great god Pan.
For the rest there are people who are
still scandalizci when they remember
the queerness of the Trenham- Duke
wedding 1t took place In sylvan style
year later on the knoll overlooking
the river and the bride wore can you
believe IT. II wreath of dandelions.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-01-04
HARD TO INITIATE.
Sounds beyond the Ability of Our
NncnI OrNnna

Vocal Organs.
THAT man can initiate perfectly the
Jingle of money" said In n tone of eu
Iogy young woman.
well, what OF that?" objected her
companion THAT ought not to be
hard to do"
TRY 10 do It,"
The objector, after summoninS into
his mind the sound of jingling money,
tried. "R-r-r-tat-tat," he went. "Br-br-
bra ra-ra. chk -chkk-chk." Then he
smiled npologetically, for he had failed.
Not by the furthest stretch of the Inn
agnatlon could it be said that he had
uttered sound that resembled mon.
ey's Jingle In the least degree
Il knew you couldn't do IT," said the
young woman. 1T is amazing how
many simple sounds there are that we
can't initiate, try MS we will. There Is,
for instance. the sound of II person
walking, the sound of IL typewriting
machine III operation. the sound of run
ming water, the sound Of breaking
dish. You cant initiate those COM
monplace noises, and | doubt If any
one IN the world can. Our vocal ca
pacity seems to us large, but 1t Is real
ly limited enough-as limited as that
of many animals and much more linn
tied than that of certain birds. That
is why | honor man who has extend
ell his vocal capacity sufficiently to i'm
itnte the pleasant sllvery sound Of
moneys jingle Baltimore Herald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-01-04
THE ALBATROSS.
Wonderful Flights of This Great
Feuthered wanderer.

Wonderful Flights Of This Great
Eeathered wanderer.
OF all the strange creatures seen by
travellers not the least interesting is
the wandering albatross. This great
feathered wanderer sometimes meas
urng seventeen feet from tip TO tip of
his wings. viii follow ship for days
Mt n time Some travellers and sailors
declare that they have seen particular
bird fly for weeks mt time without
resting. The albatross has always
been n bird of mystery. and in ancient
times the people believed that these
unwearying sea birds were the com.
who were said to have been changed
into birds ut the death of their chief.
Though the superstition about the
killing of an nlbatross bringing bad
luck Is only foolish one, II has served
II useful purpose for many years In pre-
venting the slaughter of these beautiful
and gallant birds the sailors friends
and the landsmcn's wonder Up i'll
drenry Kamchatka, that outlying part
of siberia which cuts into the north
Pacific. the natives, never having
heard of the superstition about the
his flesh makes such poor food that,
after all, the legend may be said ia
hold good, for he IL indeed In bad luck
who has to make II meal of it.-Ottawa
Free Press
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-01-04
SOLON OF ATHENS.
His DEFINITION of the Most Perfect
Form OF Government.

His Definition of the Most Perfect
Form of Government.
"What In the most perfect form OF
government" was once propounded
Mt the court of Fernandez, king Of Cor
NTH. one of the seven wise men OF
Greece. His SIX fellows were present.
and of them Bias answered first, CIV
Ing ms his opinion, where the laws
have no superior" Thales of Miletus,
the great astronomer, declared. where
the people are neither too rich nor too
poor.
In h'5 turn said Annchnrsis, the
Scythian, "Where virtue Is honored
and vice detested" Said Pittacus of
Mitylcnc Where dlgnitIes nre always
conferred upon the virtuous and never
upon the base" Said Cleobulus,
"Where the citizens fear blame more
than punishment" Said Chilo, the
Spartan, "Where the laws are more re
gnrtlcd thnn the orators"
The last to reply was the youngest
but wscst OF them all, Scion of Ath-
ems. who said, where nm injury done
10 the meanest subject IL I'M Insult to
the whole community. London Tele-
graph.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-01-04
OBSCURE PASSAGES.
Lines whose Meaning Was Not Clear
20 Their Authors.

Lines whose MeaninE Was Not Clear
10 Their Authors.
\ writer In London Truth recalls that
Browning when asked the meaning of
passage In ''Sordello," replied. We'll,
| know the poem had meaning to me
when | wrote II, but what 1t was |
cannot now say" The writer goes on to
quote parallel answers of Coleridge and
of Goethe. which comforted him long
ago, when he first transcribed them.
Colcridge wrote the greater part of
book OF Southey's "Joan Of Arc" and
annotated the long passage begin
ming, "Maid beloved of heaven" thus:
"These are very fine lines, though say
IL that should not, but hang me If !
know, or ever did know, the meaning
of them. though my own composition
Lord Francis Egerton, when translat'
Ing Faust" wrote to ask GOethe's ex-
PLANTATION of II passage which puzzled
him and received the reply that the
poet himself wns ut loss for Its
meaning Surely" runs his answer
to Lord Francis. you at twenty four
should know better than | at seventy
four the meaning of II passage | wrote
Mt your age"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-01-04
RISKY SURGERY.
Danger For the Doctor Who InOcu-
lated Empress Catherine.

lated Empress Catherine.
incubation against smallpox proceed
ed the modern method Of vaccination
and was attended with good deal OF
danger. Thomas Dimsdalc was the
foremost advocate of incubation. He
inoculated Empress Catherine of Rus
STA. This was in l76S There was con
siderable danger to life In undergoing
this artificially induced disease. The
cZarlna therefore, arranged that dur
ing the whole course of the Illness of
her son and herself there should be re
lays Of swift horses kept constantly
ready attached 10 carriages all along
the post road the nearest way out OF
Russia
Catherine told Dimsdale that II bad
symptoms displayed themselves he was
not to remain TO look after them, but to
fly for his life without delay or com
junction. She well knew that he would
not be safe If she or the heir of Russia
died In his hands.
She gave him an order Of the most
urgent kind from herself to the sue
cessive postmasters not to delay him
for minute on any pretext Dimsdale
received fee Of about $4,000 from
the empress and other gifts besides.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-01-04
neveioped Genius.

Lady-Do you think that your IN
vcntlve genius was hereditary or de
velopedI Inventor owe II all To my
dear wife. When we were first married
| used to stay late at the club, and my
wife cross questioned me severely
whenever | came home late. The ne
cessity Of inyenting fresh excuses tax
ed me to the utmost, and this faculty
became so abnormally developed that
as soon as | turned 1t to business ac-
count ! made fortune with ease.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-01-04

He was wearing his first pair OF
glnsses, and ut first they afforded great
relief, but ut the end of n month there
was II retrogression. Somehow, polish
the lens as he would, the vision mp
pcared TO be weaker. SO he went back
TO his oculist and said he thought the
glasses weren't strong enough.
The oculist stepped aside for min
ute, then handed his customer what
apparently was another pair Trying
them drew forth the exclamation:
"Why, these are much better can
see now as well as when first wore
my glasses
Then he WINS Initiated into one OF the
little secrets OF the trade. The oculist
had merely cleansed each lens with II
little soap and water.-New York Post
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-01-04

The women believe that every man
knows all about poker, but only few
men do 1t Is true. however, that near
~ every man pretends TO understand
the game thoroughly When there Is Il
poker Joke At theater all the men
smile and look ut their women folks
with sort Of pity. but the fellows who
smile know very little about the game
and are afraid to play IT, for In almost
every little social affair connected with
chips and pairs there Is Il tin horn
gambler industriously engaged In work
ing clumps The few men who really
understand poker have II habit of Win
ming the money OF the men whospre-
tend TO understand 1t, so the large ma
iority of men know nothing about the
game further than that II good hand Is
hard to get Atchison Globe.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-01-04

Henry" said his WIFE. what DO
YOU need TO take SO many bottles afo,Ig
for when you're only going fishingr
so we can have something to cork
up messages in and throw overheard
dear" he replied. III anything should
happen to the boat"
''Oh, | see Well, do be careful, Hell
nv. shall be awfully uneasy. Chi
cago Tribune.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-01-04

The sick man had called his lawyer
II wish to explain again to you" said
he weakly. about willing my proper
ty"-
The attorney held ap his hand reas-
suringly. There, there~ said he.
Leave that all TO me-"
The sick man sighed resignedly.
II suppose | might as WELL" said he,
turning upon his pillow; you'll get 1t
anyway. Judge.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-01-04

"Of course two negatives make an
affirmative"
"Rut when there IL IA woman In the
case one Is sufficient" YORK
Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-01-04
How Men Die.

More men die from worry than from
ovcrwork; more stun themselves to
death than die OF starvation; more
break their necks falling down the eel
lar stairs than climbing mountains
@ IL Insimer.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-01-04
No Bu,,n.. Depr-..ion.

as your business good?' i,sked the
burgia: of the counterfeiter
Good" repeated the counterfelter'
"Well, should say 1t was. nave peeh
just coming money
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-01-04

The readers of this paper will be pleased to
learn that there is at least one dreaded dis
ease that science has been able 10 cure in all
it's stages, aud that is catarrh. Halls Catarrh
Cure is the only positive cure now known to
the medical fraternity. Catarrh being a con-
stitntional disease, requires a constitutional
treatment Halls Catarrh Cure is taken in
ternally, acting directly upon the blood and
mucous surfaces of the system, thereby de-
stroying the foundation of the disease, and
giving the patient strength by building up
the constitution and assisting nature in doing
its work. The proprietors have so much
faith in its curative powers that they offer
One Hundred Dollars for any case that it
fails to cure. Send for list of testimonials
Address: +, J. CHENEY x co, To'edo., @.
Sold by Druggists, nc
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-01-04
He SullnldHd.

Husband-Did you ever notice, my
dear. that n loud talker Is generally an
ignorant person? Wife Well. yoe
needn't talk 80 loud. I'm not deaf.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-01-04
REAL ESTATE FOR SALE.

Two Large Manufacturing Plants with power
Eleven-room House, corner Jefferson and
Clinton streets
Seven-room Heuse corner Delevan and
George streets.
Seven-room House, on Delevan street, be-
tween George and Union streets.
Three seven-room Houses on Elm street
Eight-room House, Buttonwood street
Eight-room House, Clinton street
Two new Houses, Delaware avenue. All i'm
provements.
Nine-room House, North Union street All
improvements.
Seven-room House York street
Seven-room Houss, Lambert street.
Six-room House Union street, below Ferry,
Large Double Brick House. Coryell street,
Several desirable farms for sale near Lam
bertville containing from 20 to 100 acres.
Three lots near Lambertviile.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-01-04
MONEY WANTED.

s2OOO, 81 900. 81 800 81 800, 5000 $500 all first
mortgages on city property and desirable in
vestments.
Money to loau in large amounts on i'm
proved Real Estate.
Office open evenings to O'Clock.
Lock Box IC4, o. l. BLACKWELL
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-01-04
Mislafd.


81 mislaid $3.50 last night"
Tough luck. Can't you think where
you put IT."
Eyes. | know; laid 1t on the wrong
card Cleveland Leader
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-01-04

There Is no knowledge that Is not
power- Emerson.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-01-04

Read the new adv. of Folkner Il
Rittenhouse
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-01-04
BLACKWELL'S
Agency
Successor to late Geo NJ Holcomde, dec'd),
SOLLIDAY BUILDING,
CORNER OF BRIDGE AND UNION STREETS,

Home, Sun Phoenix Assurance, New Hamp-
shire Liverpool and London and Globe.
Hartford Standard, National Fire Assoc
citation Phoenix, Queen, North British and
Merchantile, Caledonian, Fireman's Fund,
Spring Garden, Hanover, Phenix, New
York Underwriters Niagara All safe End
reliable companies, licensed and approved
by the Commissioner of banking and In
surance of the State of New Jersey. Los
SEES paid promptly, Rates are reasonable
lou cannot afford to take the risk, when
some one else is willing to carry it at small
cost
Are your buildings insured? Have you poll
cy on your furniture? Do not wait until
after the fire
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1905-05-18
MOST MEN
Who Go Into Politics
Need the Money.
Best Officials Are Those
Heart Servants.

Men will not look after public
business so long as there is pri-
vate wealth possible OF being ac-
stimulated. But when the rules
of the game preclude the possibili-
ty of public officials stealing and
hiding their graft, then their best
interests will be seryed by good
public service. Private wealth is
the thing that corrupts public SER
vice. Men go into politics today
to serve their own private inter-
ests. The richer they are, the
more private interests they have,
the more they will misuse their
position to aid their private inter-
ests. It's only human nature.
But when there are no stocks,
bonds, mortg ,ges, property inter-
ests or current cash, they cannot
hide Doodle and it will not be Dos
sible to gain by dishonesty.
Then it will be just human nature
to give the public the best service
possible as the only way to serve
th cir private interests. .-Ex-
change.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1905-05-18
Az 10 Tariff Revision.

Governor A. B. Cummins of Iowa
shows signs of resuscitation. The stand
pat gang rolled him at the Chicago con-
vention good and hard. They thought
they had killed him, ana 80 did most
other people. He was quiet as lamb
during the campaign, which was en-
tireiy In the hands OF the stand patters
Recently he was In Washington and
was interviewed. Among other things
be said: ut is not probable that con-
gress will revise the tariff until the
people demand II In terms 80 emphatic
that their determination TO have 1t can
not be misunderstood" That IL a very
Aage remark, the Importance of which
lies in the application thereof. Then he
continued: I'VE must elect house Of
representatives next year that is n
sympathy with revision. Az present
the house is with the stand patters."
Only to0~true, o governorl And eleven
OF the most rambunctious stand patters
come from Iowa! How does che gov
ernor propose to oust the stand pat
ters2 Does he not know that 80 long as
the Republicans control the house the
Republican committee on rules will
line them up for the stand pafters and
that the average Republican congress-
man would as lief run his head into a
redhot stove as to bolt the committee
on ruiesf II that is his panaeea, the
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1905-05-18

body polite will be sorely afflicted a
long time. for the committee on rules Is
one Of the great props In the stand pat
system. They-AIr. Speaker Cannon,
Hon. John Dalzell and General Charles
II. Grosvenor--are very estimable gen.
tlemen, but they make no bones Of
their position on the tariff, which is
diametrically opposed to that of Gov
ernor Cummins, and he knows that
fact-none better. They constituted the
committee on rules in the last congress,
rnd in oil human probability they will
constitute the committee ON rules in
this congress, and they will, IL they
live, constitute the committee on rules
in the Sixtieth congress, provided the
Republicans have a majority. All these
things Governor Cummins knows, and
he knows, Furthermore, that there is not
Il ghost of show for tariff revision at
the hands of the Republicans. What,
then. is the good of talking about being
careful in nominating Republicans for
congress? It's all folderol. There Is
but one way known among men by
which tariff revision can be secured,
and that is by turning the Republicans
out and by putting us In. Governor
Cummins can accomplish nothing by
holding with the hare and running with
the hounds.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1905-05-18
MANY OFFICES TO FILL.

1t will be borne in mind that there many offices to be
voted for this fall Everything from Governor to Assessors
and the Democratic party has good chance to sweep the
platter clean Not since 1896 have the people of all parties
been ripe to resent abuse, they this year The
spendthri administration, barnaced by grafters and ns
tuition scandals has exaspeted the people to the limit and
there going to be revolution this fall in politics that will
brighten up and trot out best running stock Fill the
ticket with good strong for whom any citizen will be
proud to vote, and success is assured