The Oskaloosa herald., 1905-03-16

rises and sets here according to con
tract Just as he does in Pekay or
Fishville, or San Francisco, but there
is no night.
no q stranger coming into the town
on a morning train, everything seems
to be alive and full of life and wide
awake, but that Is only an optical illu-
sion-in reality the live ones" are
just going to bed.
After a clodhopper has been here a
few weeks he will discover in a round
aboutsway that the hustiing crowd
whom he thought was running to q
FIRE the day he arrived, are all asleep,
comparatively speaking, and that in
reality, Chicago Just begins to yawn.
wake up and put or her glad rags
about the time he has been in the
habit of going to bed. .
After arriving in the city and secur-
ing a comfortable room, ! went out
and began to look around for a man
to hit me on the head with a sling-shot
or shoot a few bullets into my system
end make whatever preliminary prep
arations were necessary before rob-
bling me. ! had heard of other farmers
being initiated In that way, so as ] did
not want to miss anything, ] began
early to look around for the robbers
union where ] could get a man with
a card in his hip pocket and in good
standing to do the job. After I had
looked for three or four nights with
out APPARENT success, / began to realize
there were other things in the city be-
sidese robbers. In another day my
fear had gone. I became reckless, quit
looking under my bed at night, until
now | feel at perfect ease to take the
Gentle reader by the hand and lead
her or him, as the case may be, clear
around Seigel Cooper & Co.'s big store
without getting lost or held up in any
way.
But nowadays most of you are tired
trudging around this place, sc we will
just venture out a little farther, for
the sake of daring novelty. Well, here
is Cottage Grove and 22d street, so we
will just stop in at the Dancing acad-
envy, buffet and cafe a few minutes
and listen to the music. BY being
fairly good in mathematics. I have fig
ured out that the word buffet means a
spacious, gilded parlor, richly fur
nished, where men and drink
and get drunk on beers and wines SER
we'd in cut glass until 2 a.. M, and from
that hour until daylight have to drink
it out of a teacup. There seems to be
some special ordinance in the town
which concepts a fellow to get drunk
out of a teacup If he wants to do it
2 a. m. / don't know just why
that is so. for as Chicago has so many
peculiarities, / did not have time
10 look it up. The word cafe, IL ! re
member rightly, is taken from the
Greek, and signifies that the tail goes
before the hide, when you order a por-
rernouse STEAK at s1.2o.
But I can't understand why dancing
academy is applied to this place. In
it seems to be more of a gem
line sports alumni association, for ev-
Try one who comes here, apparently,
S a graduate at dancing. This, how
ever, is a very pretty hall with a good
orchestra in it and an elevated rail-
road on top of it, so that it is unneces-
sary for the head fiddler to pat his
foot in order to make noise enough for
the dancers to trip the light fantastic
in proper time.
I took a seat in the balcony where
! could get a good view of the snare
drum end of the orchestra, so that I
soak myself full of water and other
soft drinks and be sociable. Just as ]
would get full of soul-inspiring music
and begin to think I was having a
good time one of those elevated trains
would run over my head, turn on the
air brakes and give me setback. I can
stand the noise Of industry and pros
Derity all day, pretty well, but at night
I'd just as soon he'd go to bed and not
overwork himself. The noise finally
became monotonous; I descended into
the arena, and my friend introduced
me to a lady friend of his, with a sor-
rel complexion and a green bolero
Jacket. I asked her if she had any OBJ
jections to my wadding her up in nv
arms and swinging her around the hall
like a young cyclone for a few min
utes, to the inspiring rhapsody Of the
"Gondolier." penetrated by the occa-
sional cizzle of an airbrake on a street
car? She said it would be perfectly
delightful, so l took off my watch and
hid it with some other ~valuables in a
safety deposit vault in the observatory
portion of my pa~ntaloons and then
when the music started UP again, she
placed her corn starch pozzoni COM
plexion against the throax of my new
800 suit and we glid down the hall
withp a merry glide. Now I'm not a
very extemporaneous two-stepDer at
best. but by persistent effort and nat
ural gracefulness, I am gradually ac-
curing the habit so that / can go
around in crowd without o~ccasioning
remark or profanity as ! once did. But
fate was against me on this occasion
We had glode around the hall a couple
OF times and was Just coming down
the homestretch on the third when nv
partner said she felt such a queerness
about her some where. / was just ask
ing if she would like a little wine.
when the crowd broke into a wild
shrek and seemed to turn its eye on
me. 1t seems as though my lady, in
In her strenuous efforts to keep step
with a good dancer had broken a very
important cord in her system some
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