Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1905-06-07
A Self-Made Merchant
A Man Can't Pick His Mother But He
Can His Sons Mother.

| ~ Wan Cant PICK his Mother BUT ne
Can His Sons Mother.
OF course you're in no position yet TO
think of being engaged even, and that $
why I'm little afraid that you may
be planning to get married. But a
twelve dollar clerk who owes $50 for
roses needs keeper more than VIE.
want To say right here that there al
ways comes time to the fellow who
blows $52 at lick on roses when he
thinks how many staple groceries he
could have bought with the money.
After all, there's no fool like a young
| fool, because In the nature of thiI IS
he's got 81 long time to Ii re.
| suppose Pm tanning the air when l
ask you TO be guided by my jldsme MT
In this matter because while Il young
fellow wilt consult his father about
buying hcrse he's cocksure Of him
self when it comes to picking q wire.
Marriag c., may be made in heaven, but
most engagements are made III the
| back paror, with the gas so low that
fellow doesn't really get square look
dI w liiL uC lulhAAE. w hAAS - AA'''Ae
doesn't see much, OF girls family
when he's counting he's apt to see a
good deal of it when he's housekeep-
ing. and while he doesn't marry his
wifes father there's nothing in the
marriage VOW to prevent the old man
from borrowing money from him, and
you can bet if he's old Job Dashkam
he'll do ii. a man can't pick his own
mother, but he can pick his sons moth
er, and when he chooses father-in-
law who plays the bucketshops ne
needn't be surprised if his own son
plays the races.
Never marry poor girl who's been
raised like rich one. She's simply
traded the virtues OF the poor for the
vices of rhe rich without going long
on their good points. To marry for
money or to marry without money is a
crime. There's no real objection TO
marrying woman with fortune, but
there is to marrying fortune with a
woman.
While you are at it. there's nothing
like picking out good looking wife,
because even the handsomest woman
looks honlely sometimes. and so you
get little variety. But homely one
can only look worse than usual. Beau
ty is only skin deep, but that's deep
enough to satisfy any reasonable man.
Il want to say right here that to get
any sense out of a proverb l usually
find that have to turn 1t wrong si'le
out.) Then. too, if fellows bound
to marry II fool, and a lot Of men have
to If they're going to hitch up into a
well matched team, there's nothing
like picking good looking one.
l believe, in short engagements ard
long marriages. l don't see any sense
in a fellows sitting around on the
mourners bench with the sinners
after he's; really got religion. Tie
time to size up the other sides
strength is before the engagement.
Some fellows propose to girl be-
fore they know whether her front and
her back hair match and then holler
that they're stuck when they find that
she's got cork leg and a glass eye
as we'll.
They start out on the principle that
married people have only one meal a
day and that of fried oysters and tutri
frutti ice cream after the theater. MAJ
urally a GIRLS got her better nature
and her best complexion along under
those circumstances. But the really
valuable thing to know is how she an
proaches liam and eggs at O'clock
a. m. and whether she brings her con-
plexion with her to the breakfast to-
BILE. And these fellows make girl be-
lieve that they're going to spend all
the time between 8 and II O'clock
p. IN. for the rest of their lives holding
40 pounds, live weight, in their lap
and saying that it feels like a feather.
The thing to find out is whether, whel
one Of them gets up to holding u tel
pound baby in his arms for five min
utes. he's going to carry on as if it
weighed ton.