davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-16
COLLEGE GIRLS GROW FAT
Soon After Entering the "Freshies'
They Begin to Acquire
Plumpness.

'In couple Of months from now
said woman who was matron at q
women's college for several years,
there will be a food OF letters from
girl freshmen to their mothers, all
containing one complaint: I'm grow
ing 30 fat that my clothes won't at
me- And the mothers will worry and
fret, and wardrobes will be sent home
to be let out.
Freshmen at the women's college
always grow very plump, and they
astonish their friends and relatives
when they go home on their FIRST vaca-
ton by the amount of flesh they have
put on. And It is all due, I believe,
to the healthy, normal life that . girl
leads at college.
"The food is always palatable, nour-
ishing, and Of the best, and even the
most f1nicky maiden learns to eat
everything. / have seen girls who
entered college with the idea that they
could get nothing but the white meat
OF Chicken and lemon ice. oontentedly
eating fried veal and onions q few
weeks later.
And these meals are always served
at a regular time. and with plenty
OF lively conversation to make them
digest easily. Let me say right here,
too, that the popular notion that col
iege girls have midnight spreads Of
:ndigcstihles is n wrong one. Such
things belong to boarding school, but
not to women's college.
Then there are regular hours for
retiring. Lights must be out at ten
o'clock, and that means eight hours
OF good. healthful sleep. The out
door life also contributes to the plump
ness of the girls.
college girls stay indoors only
when they have to. and plenty Of fresh
air makes them strong and muscular.
The gymnasium is another factor. Its
purposes is to develop a girl physical
ly, and each freshman Is examined
that she may get the exercise she most
needs.
Under all these conditions the
freshmen rapidly grow plump and rosy
and this plumpness they rarely lose
during their college course. Even the
thinnest girl finds she can wear a
decollete evening gown after she has
been at college three months, and the
fat girls find their superfluous flesh
turning into hard, firm muscle.
And one thing more. College girls
are always happy, and every woman
grows fat when she is happy"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-16
RUIN THE PICTURES.
PEOPLE WHO "BUrT IN" WHEN
CAMERA is WORKING.
Scenes Carefully Arranged by Nov
ing Picture Artists Are Dis
turbed and Rendered
Useless.

"Our work Is sometimes seriously
interfered with by the buttinskis, and
then again there are times when their
slamming in helps us" said the man
ager Of moving pictuye concern, who
himself frames up the incidents and
supervises the taking of the pictures.
ut is impossible to guard against the
folks with the butting-in habit, for
when they see anything unusual COM
ing of on the street or in any public
place their natural busybody instinct
takes hold Of them. and they're bound
to nudge up and take q hand In the
proceedings.
"Over In Trenton a few weeks ago
fixed up horsewhipping scene.
The first part Of the set was easy
enough to get. 1t was a scene in a
restaurant. in which pretty girl.
seated at a table a little distance away
from another table at which a frolic-
some man with a homely wife is din.
Ing. falls to making goo.goo eyes at
| the man.
"The second scene, In which | ar
/ W hdNt Aut hOl WhiItAh6 tatNO
place. took place outside the restau.
rant. We'd s7t police permission to
take the pictures, and | had two or
three men stationed in front of the
restaurant TO keep tho crowd back
while the phonv horsewhipping was in
progress.
when everything was all set and
the mactiuo woH swapping away at the
homely wife laying the lash across
the face and ghoulders OF the flirta-
tious gir'--the ash looked like rattan,
but Il vas a nhony, and didn't hurt
at all--opr troables began.
First a big vanniean Of man
slammed In and grabbed my homely
woman bv her lash-wielding arm.
bawling that he didn't believe in see-
ing no woman singing another WON.
an Hike that and that queered one set
OF films. The machine had TO be
stopped while the big buttinskl was
being informed that the thing was
only tableau, and that he didn't
belong to the picture.
"Ile took the glbes of the crowd sour
ly, at that. and looked to be in so
much Of mind to kick our gear to
pieces that I had TO get a cop to walk
him down tho street.
"When we got all set again and the
horsewhlpping of the hrtatlous girl
was once more going on a scrawny
batchet-faced woman. who had just
Joined tho outer circle of the crowd,
and who wasn't up TO what was COM
ing Off. rushed into the scene with n
Shrek grabbed my two acting women
by the hair. and started in to rough
house them both for their 'indecency
in fighting on the street. as she yelled
at them. The machine had to be
stopped again.
"The incident as had framed 1t
up didn't call for anything like that
I had II ARRANGED that after the whip.
ping had proceeded for space the
guilty husband OF the homely wife
was to rush in and attempt to sep
arate the two women, when his wife
was to turn on him with the lash. caus
ing him TO skddoo down the street.
The girl with the goo.goo eyes was to
seize the whip from the other WON.
ans hands and start In to get hunk
for the cutting she'd received. the
scene ending up that way"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-16
Frost Makes Fat Turkeys.
cold weather makes fat turkeys.
said the poulterer.

"Cold weather makes fat turkeys,
said the poulterer.
''Why2"
Because in a warm fall the ground
keeps soft. the vegetation fingers on
and the fields are full Of worms and
bugs. What's the result? The result
is that the turkeys. from sunrise till
dark, tramp the tempting fields on long
forages, eating the worms and bugs.
which thin them, and walking all their
soft and fine flesh into tough. stringy
muscle.
"A cold fall. with early frosts and
SHOWS. freezes the ground and kills
the bugs. Then the turkeys are not
tempted to wander. They loaf in the
farmyard, gorge an abundance Of
grain, and put on flesh like middle
aged woman at a seashore hotel
But In a warm fall, hunting the ir-
resistible bug, the turkeys do their 10
or 20 miles regularly, and become ath-
letes. For athletic turkeys there is no
public demand"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-16
The LAWYER.

Now, guess who II is that takes an
oath whereby he invokes Gods help
that he may do no falsehood nor con
sent TO the doing of any in court; that
he may not Willingly or willingly pro
mote or sue any false. groundless or
unlawful suit, nor give aid or con.
sent to the same; that he may delay
no man for lucre or malice, but that
he may conduct himself with all good
fidelity" Guess who takes that oath
But you would never guess II in the
world. 1t is the lawyer.-Kansas City
Times
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-16
when Game Was Cheap in Kansas

Even as late as 1886 and 1887 veni,
son was as cheap as beef in the fall
the choicest cuts selling for 12s cents
pound, while wild turkeys could be
had for rs cents each when tame tur.
keys no larger sold for dollar. Brant
or wild geese were hard to get rid Of
as no one liked their meat There
was little fishing. not nearly so good
as now, and the fish were nearly all
perch or cat The fine herd OF 200
head Of deer In Uncle Joe Lewis deer
park came from pair he caught In
the early days and penned up in q
pasture lot.--Anthony Republican.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-16
He Had Exercise.

A young man ever careful of his health
recently began figuring on the possible
constitutional effect of the banting he
undergoes TO keep his flesh down. ac-
cording to the. New York Globe. He
visited the Office of physician on the
East side, near Central park. "H'm!"
said the medical man, impressively
as your occupation sedentary one?''
"a what?" asked the young man. Il
mean do you have to sit down while
at your work?" "oh, yes; but take
lots Of exercise at business, just the
same "Nonsense!" said the doctor
''How can you sit at your work and
take exercise?" I'm jockey, dosl"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-16
Rather Fearful as to Results.

Dumley-6ay, old man. bought q
birthday present for my tiancee to-day
and wish you'd take It home and let
your wife see It.
Benedick--What fort
We'll, when looked It the thing In
the store thought II Vas Z nsoklacs.
but they sent pair q them home ana
I'm sure they're not bracelets -PhiI-
adelphis PSeea
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-16
The Strain of American Life.

April 16. SSs.-Speaking of the
Strain OF American life" w. de-
clared that "every man is trying 10
outdo every other man-giving up
modesty. giving up honesty. giving up
generosity, to do II; creating a war.
every man against every man; the
whole wretched business falsely keyed
by money-ideals. money-politics.
money-religions, money-men." with
Walt Whitman in Camden" in Cen
tury.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-16

Friend--What made you blush SC
during the ceremony.
Bride-Oh, ! felt 80 cheap.
Friend-Cheap?
Bride-Yes, Papa gave me away
you know.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-16
Inappropriate Ornaments.

On taking their seats for the first
time on the bench at the newly erected
courthouse at Delmerhorst. Germany,
the judges were much perturbed to
find that the architect had ornament
ed The portico with the sculptured
head Of fox on one side and that OF
sheep on the other
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-16
Force of Habit.

According TO the New York Sun, a
physician started a model insane asy-
lum with a special ward for crazy
rhauffeurs and motorists.
But l don't see any patients" said a
visitor TO whom the automobile ward
was shown.
"Oh," the physician replied, they're
all under the cots fixing the Stats"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-16

Collector-This is the tenth time
I've called to see about that little
bill.
Debtor-You're the most persistent
devil ! ever saw.
Collector--Well, give the devil his
dues.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-16
Eavesdroppingp

Miss Elderleigh-Would you believe
It my dear--I listened 10 six declara-
tons Of love at the dance last night!
Miss Speight--How interesting! You
must have been sitting behind some
awfully pretty girl!--Chicago Sun.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-16
Good-By, Little Girl. aood-By.

One OF the saddest events OF the war
will be the farewell of the Russian prls-
nners TO the Jananese geigha girls.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-16

When young man goes to church
with girl, he likes to alt In the back
seat, Not because he Is modest, but
because he likes to keep as far away
from the altar as possible.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-16
Not In That Case.

He-Do you believe that II one per.
son gives another a pair Of scissors
II will cut their friendship
She-Not II it's q nice little pair of
silver scissors with my monogram on.
--AnHwers.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-16

Along the central part of the Congo
river there are a number Of salt
marshes. The Africans dig shallow
holes in these. whence issue streams
Of hot water which. on being evap-
GRATED. leaves residue Of salt.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-16

Il wonder II she would accept me If
| proposed to her?'
Il don't see why she shouldn't. Size
accepted me last night.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-16
Mammoth Moth.

The largest moth known is the Giant
Atlas, found In China, the wings Of
which measure nine inches across.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-16

We'll, Johnny, was Aunt Mary sit.
ting up when you saw her?'
Nav. Settin' down.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-16

Il wish I we're a night watchman.'
'Why?'
i could sleep all day and save my
board, and work all night and save
my lodging
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-16

A man Il known by the insurance
companies be keeps away from.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-16

$50 now you and Grace are married
and happyS"
"Uh-huh. Between us."
"What do you meanp"
''I'm married and she's happy"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-16

"Did Criticus praise my picture Of
''Innocence?"
Il don't know.
Don't know? What do you mean?'
We'll, he said he never saw any
thing 30 artless.'
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1905-11-16

House wife--And you left your last
place because Of quarrel with your
mistress?
Applicaut-Not quarrel, mum.
Housewife--How was II thenp
Applicatant--Well, :mum, she Wa
sfther interferin' wid me, an skpoke
70 her - one lady n another.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-30

Pa yelled for help. and I thought 1t
was time for me to be doing some
thing, so | went outside the Office to
the fire alarm box and touched a but
ton, and then | run like thunder for
the police, and the iremen came with
the extinguishers and began to throw
chemically charged water into the
room, and the police dragged out the
fat woman, who had tainted, and the
living skeleton, whom she had pulled
down into her lap, and laid them out
in the ring, and then they got hold of
pa and pulled him out, and the bearded
woman had tainted in pas arms, and
the stove was tipped over and was
setting fire to the furniture, and they
brought the bearded woman and the
fat woman to their senses, by pouring
water on them from a hose. Finally
they were sent to their quarters, and
the other owner of the show came to
pa and said he hoped this would be the
last of that kind of business. as long
as pa remained with the show. that
one of the rules was that no man in
an executive capacity must under any
circumstances take any liberties with
any of the females connected with the
show.
Pa was hot. and said when women
| got crazy in love no man was safe, and
| the other owner of the show said that
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-30
MORE
Republican Administration Is Kept
Busy by the Corrupt
officials.

Secretary Wilson has appointed a
committee of his subordinates to in
vestigate the agricultural department,
ito look into all the reports of charges
OF Wrongdoings made against anyone
connected with the department and to
investigate into the work performed by
all" The committee has quite a big
job on it's hands, and as the Keep
commission is doing the same investi-
eating for the president, it would seem
that this committee would be doing
better service by attending to their
regular duties.
What is the matter with this repub-
lican administration that it requires
such a constant investigation, one on
top of another? There must be some
thing radically wrong in the manage
ment. There was no need for such in
vestigatiOns when the democrats were
in power and the departments did not
cost nearly so much to run. Under
our democratic-repubiican form of gov
eminent a change of policies, by
changing parties in control, is the only
check on corruption. Too long a lease
of power is certain to breed graft, for
the sense of political security that long
tenure of office gives lessons the check
on the rascals.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-30
Democratic Party Not Dead.

The World recently asked if the
democratic party was dying. 1t is very
far from dead. Roosevelt's plurality Of
SOC, 900 in Pennsylvania has been over
turned and the democratic candidate
for state treasurer is elected Ly 100,-
900. Roosevelt's plurality of 255 900 in
Ohio is likewise overturned. The gov
ernor and the whole democratic state
ticket are elected by a plurality of ap-
proximately 10000. The democrats will
control both houses of the legisla-
ture. The republican candidate for gov
ernor was elected in Massachusetts,,
but the candidate for lieutenant COVER
nor has a beggarly 1000 on the face of
the returns. Roosevelt had 8 1000 in
Massachusetts, last year. What a po-
litical revolution it was! Who would
have believed that such amazing
changes could take place within a
year? That they could take place
proves that no party is safe, no boss
is safe, no party tradition is safe, in
the face of the growing spirit of po-
litical independence on the part of the
American voter.-N. Y. World.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-30

army: who in her day, had repulse6
the wooing CT Charles ii. Of England
(then in exile) and voted him a bore;
and who ultimately. after refusing an
emperor, three reigning monarchs.
Phillip OF France 1.-THE brother of
Louis, and half a dozen sovereign
princes. married a rascally %adventurer
who forced her to pick up his hat and
pull of his muddy riding boots, to
show his contempt for her.
1t Yves to this shady, restful home
that she retired when the heat Of sum,
mer came, to train her hounds, try hei
English horses, tend her aviaries, row
on the river. or watch her flowers
Her other castles and estates stood
high as Choisy. So well known was her
desire for quiet when she retired there
that not even the king himself would
have ventured 10 intrude without a
cousinly invitation. Hither came BY
special favor a few choice spirits.
Corneille or Racine to read a new play!
Mansard to show her the plans for s
new palace he way building for the
king (Mademoiseite affected to patron.
ize the srts); or perhaps a bevy q
feminine friends trimming over with
gossip of the court.
Mademoiselle was by nature a bun
die of contradictiows. Understands
politics, she had suall capacity TO
ruling; ostentaticus in the distribu
ton of her wealth without being char
liable; shrewd in Judgment, yet 81
blinded by conceit that all the worls
looked on and laughed at her folly; O.
wsrlike disposition "a hundred time
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-30

was all right this time, but not to let
it occur again, and pa tried to explain
how the bearded oma came to jump
on to him and faint in his arms, but
the owner said: THAT is all right, but
you can't hold EN- in your arms before
folks" and then pa offered to whip any
man who said he was in love with any
bearded woman, and he pulled off his
coat. Just then | came along and told
the whole story, and then the crowd
all had a good laugh, and pa took them
all out and treated.
l guess it is all settled now. cause
the living skeleton and the fat woman
have got permission to get married,
the bearded lady is sweet on pa, and a
girl has just Joined the show, who
walks a wire, and she says | am about
the sweetest thing that ever came
down the pike, and l guess this show
business is all right, all right.
April I've are getting acquainted
with the animals. and it is just like
going into society.
lH6Te is lue d~IISLOCTdCy, WHICH COLL
sists of the high born animals, the
middle class and the %low-down, COM
mon herd, and when you go among
the animals as strangers you are re-
ceived just as you would be in society.
If you are properly introduced to the
elephants by the elephant keeper, who
vouches for your standing and honor,
the elephants take to you all right and
extend to you certain courtesies, same
as society people would invite you to
dinner, but If you wander around and
sort of butt in, the elephants are on to
you in a minute and roll their eyes at
you and look upon you as a com
mon person and if you attempt any
familiarity they look at you as much
as to say: Sir, | am not allowed to
associate with any except the 400
Then they turn their backs and act so
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-30
GERMAN RECIPROCITY.
The Kind of Live Wire That the Re
publican Leaders Are
Afraid OF.

President Rooseyelt's new secretary
Of state is handling the German propo-
sition for reciprocity with as much
caution as he would a stick of dyna-
mite. There is no doubt that 1t is
dangerous politically to the admins
tration to arrange to open our tariff
door for admission of German prod
ucts, when a trust-controlled senate.
which has refused TO ratify former rec
iprocity treaties, is still in power. The
proposition may be turned down to
the chagrin of our diplomats. Senator
Lodge, who had a good deal to do with
the virtual rejection of the reciprocity
treaties negotiated by President Me-
Kinley, is being prodded by the boot
and shoe manufacturers of his state 10
help hold open the German market for
them and he has attempted to appease
them by agreeing to vote for free
hides, his political future having forced
him to a straddle on tariff revision.
The new German tariff on boots and
shoes will be increased on March ]
next from S7.02 to $19.47, and that is
where the shoe pinches the most i'm
portant manufacturing interest in New
England and why they are demanding
tariff revision and reciprocity.
A reciprocity treaty with Germany,
for the benefit of the boot and shoe
manufacturers, will have to admit some
German product in return, or there
would be no reciprocity. AS there are
no favored interests protected by our
tariff that will be willing to be sacri-
feed by seeing similar German prod
ucts to theirs admitted without pay
ing duty, or at even 20 per cent. dis
count. How can reciprocity with Ger
many be arranged without some pro,
tected interest losing its present adj
vantages? That is why Secretary Root
is considering so carefully.
Those republicans who want reci-
procity will be forced to the democratic
position-of a reduction of the tariff
duty on those products that are sold
cheaper abroad than here, with a ate
u uuLy W pLOuuC6 GilOuSu IeNGuut W
run the government honestly admins
tered. Germany and other countries
will be glad TO arrange their tariff to
meet such a fair trade proposition.
But a democratic congress will have
to be elected before tariff revision that
will reduce trust high prices can be
enacted, for the republican leaders are
combined with the trusts and protect
ed combines against revision. When
the voters nominate and vote for con
gressmen and legislators who will elect
senator's next year, they will have to
decide upon which side of the tariff
issue they will stand.
If the voters are satisfied with the
enormous high cost of living, if they
approve the trusts selling cheaper to
foreigners than to our own people, then
they will stand pat" and elect a re-
publican congress-. That will mean
keeping our boots and shoes at home
and some factories running on short
time OF closing down. not only in the
boot and shoe factories of New Eng
, land, but also other factories of other
, products that are producing more than
) our W people al afford to buy, for
the same conditions exist in other lines
| of production.