Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-07-29
A LESSON IN GOSSIP

When Nouck reached his Office In one of
the departments the other morning, about
one minute and Fights seconds late, he
didn't look right on edge. There were hol-
lows under his eyes. and the eyes them
selves were bit bloodshot. There was a
sort of clammy-looking perspiration on No.
luck's brow. his face was pale. and he APP
peared to be decidedly nervous. 'Uh-huh-
up against the Old stuff last night. hey?"
raiisinsly remarked one of Nolucks fellow
clerks, noticing Nolucks looks. Noiuck
smiled drearily. but made no reply. How
ever. the Titian-haired female stenograp her
in the room had heard the bit of badinaSe
of Noiucks fellow clerk
My. but isn't 1t shame" whispered the
Titan haired female stenographer to
another woman clerk about two and one
quarter minutes later, how Mr.. Noluck 5
drinking? Just look al him. He's barely
sober yet. feel for his wife, deed do
The woman clerk who was thus tipped off
by the sunset-hirsuted female stenosrap her
had no mind to let the thing get away
from her
Goodness gracious sakes alive!' she OBJ
served about tour minutes later to the dSed
lady clerk who uses IA pneumatic cushion
10 sit on, II don't see how that Noiuch man
stands his dissipation deed doh |; Ihev
say that one of his friends picked HIM up
in a helpless state of fntoXicatoA al
o clock this morning and sent MIN TO his
home in a hack. How l feel for MS poor
wife. mercy me!'
This, of course. was meat for the aged
lady clerk who uses the pneumatic cuShi on
to sit upon She instantly hunted up the
third assistant old gentleman In charge OF
the branch stationery DIVISION. with WHOM
she has been confidential terms as TO
the doings of the department since Inc
grand review of the army after the war
ITS shame so 1t Is she observed
breathlessly. to the third assistant ola
gentleman. that some of you men oon
get hold of that pitiable Noluck creature In
our division and advise him. They say
that he was so bad last night again that
he nearly tore the uniform or polcemah
back, and if it hadn't been that the pollce-
man knew him he would have been In the
Police Court this morning. The idea OF
such no-accounts as that being married 10
poor, unfortunate women!
The third assistant old gentleman In
charge OF the branch stationery division
tucked his pencil behind his ear after the
aged lady clerk had departed, and went to
hunt up a contemporary who had entered
the department about the same time, back
in the days when wooden paving docks
were still in use in Washington.
Hear about Noluck?' cheerily observed
the third assistant old gentleman In charge
Of the branch stationery division. "WenI
home at O'Clock this morning and threw
all of the dishes In the pantry out of the
window. Getting pretty close to the line,
Noluck, eh?'
The contemporary of the third assistant
old gentleman of the stationery division
had use for this morsel, too, for eight min
utes after 1t had been passed along to him
he was buzzing into the ear of one of the
old-time watchmen something like this:
Queer that that Noluck fellow doesn't
take a tumble to himself, isn't it? They
say he's been dallying so much with the
red-eye lately that he's seeing purple rab-
bits and green buffaloes up In his division
right now Guess they'll have to give him
a couple o weeks in i hospital to pull him
through
And so it spun along. like detached bit
Of thistledown a gusty day.
In the meanw nile, Noluck, who had really
walked the floor for half the hot night with
a vicious toothache, and who hadn't even
found solace In glass of beer for several
weeks was drilling away at his work, in
spite of the jumping tooth, and blissfully
unconscious of the loosening, with respect
to himself. of the myriad tongues of rumor
Lesson: Never hit a man when he is
down. Jump on him.