davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

Mr. BFyan's presidential boom has Just
been formally launched at Chicago. This
is formally you understand. 1t was
informally launched on the ninth day of
last November.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14
THE KAIsER's BAD MANNERS.

Congressman BarchfieId of Pennsyl-
vania was not especially pleased when
Emperor William looked at his six
feet six inches of frame and said that
if he was a German he would have
him for one of his guards. The kaiser
was supposed to be doing several
American congressman favor by re-
ceiving them at the court in Berlin,
but 1t degenerated into a mere side
show for the entertainment of royalty
when the tail man was thus addressed.
The kaiser should know that Ameri-
cans are not fattered by such sugges-
lions as that.-Worcester Telegram.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

Secretary Taft has assured China
that America doesn't want any Chinese
SOIL says the Washington Post. That
is correct. So China needn't throw any
dirt at America.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14
A MYSTERY.

Governor Hoch says that he was
greatly impressed with the honesty of
John Collins because he wore good
clothes and did not appear like GRIM
inal. In that case how did he ever
pick out Tom Kelly for a criminal?-
Parsons Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

If we hadn't thrown our. hat up in
the air and lost it in the first salvo of
applause we would graciously lift it
now to Theodore Roosevelt.-New
York Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

If the beef trust ever hears of that
Aeavenworth butcher who can cut a
steak so thin it has to be carried be-
tween sheets of cardboard like gold
leaf, it will be after him sure.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

1t is stated that the inhabitants of
Sakhalin island do not approve the di-
vision of the island. This is our first in
kination that the island had any inhabi-
Azufs
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14
AWAY AHEAD.

King Edward may be the first gem
tlenan of Europe, but another gentle
man is crowdins him hard for the
position of first citizen of the world
Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14
MADi

Russia's new legislative body is re-
ferred to by the czar as gosudar-
stvennaia douma. Oh, but he must be
mad!-Chicago Record-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

but one of the Fiala polar expedition
rather reminds one of the satisfaction
of the preacher after q vain attempt
to take up a collection at getting his
hat back.-LouisvifIe Courier-JournaL
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14
cREEcHS BOOM.

]. w. Creech of Herington has finally
decided that he is not a candidate for
governor. He has been a long time
finding out what the remainder of the
state has known ever since he succeeded
in having his name mentioned. -
Concordla Blade,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

Very likely the japanese government
tJtill spank those unruly little Japs and
send them to bed.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14
WHAT MISSOURI WOULDN'T D
Old GENBRAI DELIVERY.

We have funny ideas about foreign
ers and they get funny ideas about the
way we do things. An Atchison wo-
man who visited a family in Germany
for year told her hostess upon leav-
ing Germany to address her letters to
general delivery, Atchison, Kansas The
other day she received letter in the
care of His Excellency the well born
General Delivery. "-Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14
A SIGH OF RELIEF.

It's a relief to hear Mr.. Stubs say
1.-The future destiny of the state de-
Ponds on the public school system" Mr..
Stubs has created the impression here
tofore that he believed the future des-
tiny of the state depends upon him
self."-Ottawa Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

Gt won't be long now until we will b,
forced to argue the indemnity question
With the coal dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

Mark Twain has been having the
govt, but he has so far recovered that
he is able to kick about the peace
treaty.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14
AN AMATEUR.

Witte is an amateur dfolomatist in
the same sense that these football stars
smuggled in on the college teams are
amateurS.-New York Commercial.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

The literary gents who make the
books at the race track are also CRATE
full that the rain didn't fall on the IN
just this week.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14
EpoM OTHER PENS
AuToNOMY.

Secretary Taft has been formally
named for the presidency, in the Phil
ippine islands. This is not imperial
ism but autonomy.-St. Louis Globe
Democrat.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14
THE LOAFER.

Why Is it loafers and folks who have
nothing to do are always studying up
schemes to interfere with the duties of
the industrious and those who have
work to do? Why don't the ioafers go
Off in a flock by themselves and not
keep everlastingly nagging the work
ers Howard Courant.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

Cleveland will establish a municipal
Keeley cure. Wooster, in the same state,
can possibly furnish some candidates for
admission.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

rality because of our prohibition laws,
the boolrmakers and race touts flourish
like a green bay tree-whatever that
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

we still insist that the proper Iowa
idea is the emigration Of Iowa farm
ere TO Kansas.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

Iowa's corrsling so many good federal
Jobs ought to give Ohio mighty good
cause for action for infringement of
copyright
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14
WALL sTREETs coMPLAINT.

Wall street complains that it is not
prosperous; when Wall street is pros
porous it is the rest of the country that
omplains.-Houston Chronicle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

When It comes to graft, too many
people have a taking way about them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14
REPuBLICAN PROSPERITY.

It is noticed that Grover Cleveland
did not buy any farms until after Re-
publican prosperity had braced things
up q bit.-Abilene Reflector.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

Quite likely the price of cigarettes has
Assumed normal proportion at Ports
elaouth.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

II want to put an 'ad in your pa
per-" said the weary-looking man.
make it: Wanted, a situation; any old
job . '.Shall say money no object
suggested the clerk. No; make it OBJ
iect matrimony.' If could get ac-
uuainted with a decent job I'd be will
ing to marry it for life. ''-Philadelphia
Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14
DON'T SPILL OFF.

Colonel Bryan will go to the Orient
instead of to Europe. This will cause
the earth to tip the other way
Globe-Democrat
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

Nordy-Did that summer resort have
all the comforts of home? Butts-Not
quite; but it made up for that in an
other direction. Nordy-How's thatt
Butts-It had all the decentralization
isville Courier-Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14
HUMOR OF TIE DAY

Mrs. Foozle-My son is q veterinary
surgeon. Mrs. Malaprop-Land sakes!
He's a purity young-lookin' Teller to cau
himself veteran.-Philadelphi RECORD
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

Haven't YOU ever thought of going
to work." asked the farmers wife OF
Sauntering Sam. "Yesm,' replied the
veteran tramp. al thought of 1t once
but 1 was deeIeeryus at de time
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

Mr.. Tynid-I asked your father for
his consent over the telephone. Miss
Chance-What did he say? Mr.. TyTnid
He said don't know who you are, but
it's all right.-Chicago Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

'sDid you ever spend any money on
champagne suppers orwell, I'm insured
in the Equitable Houston Post
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

Conductor-Why don't you move up
forward. there? Passenger-The motor
man won't let me.-Cieveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14
MORE TROUBLE.

One of the most serious results of
peace is that the war correspondents
will come home and be mustered out.
Minneapolis Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14
KAMSAy COAAENT
ZION" ME.


w. H. Mize of Osborne has already
achieved a notable victory in his pre-
lininary campaign for the nomination
for state auditor on the Republican
ticket. Besides being received in full
fellowship into the Order of Hons, he
has had conferred upon him the title of
Colonel. By the way. Mr.. Mize is re-
ceiving some mighty fatterfng notices
from the press of the Sixth district
Osborne Farmer.
WHAT MISSOURI WOULDN'T DO.
About the most amusing thing in the
way of a new political burlesque, is to
note how the Kansas Republican papers
weep over the manner in which poor old
Missouri boobies in her public affairs
When as a matter of fact Missouri
would not stand for the Keily-Burton-
Mulvane system of thievery without an
instruction, that would call for the
quick exit of somebody into the hence
wardly perhaps.-Smith County Messen-
ger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

Nell-Does she speak French at all? She
says she does
Belle-Oh, yes just enough to make herr
self unintelligible. Philadelphia Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

New York Tribune.
HUMOR OF TIE DAY
Mrs. Foozle-My son is q veterinary
surgeon. Mrs. Malaprop-Land sakee!
He's purity young-lookin' feiler 20 can
himself a decentralization Record
did you ever spend any money On
champa rne suppers ?'''eWeIl I'm insured
in the Equitable '-Houston Post
Conductor-Why don't you move up
forward, there? Passenger-The motor
man won't let me.-Cieveland Leader
Mr.. Tyrnid-I asked your father for
his consent over the telephone. MISS
did he say? Mr.. Tymid
He said don't know who you are, but
it's all right.-Chicago Journal
Haven't you ever thought of going
to work?" asked the farmers wife OF
veteran tramp. al thought of it once
but 1 was deeieeryus at de time
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Nordy-Did that summer resort have
all the comforts of home? Butts-Not
quite; but it made up for that in an
other direction. Nordy-How's thatf
Butts-It had all the discomforts.-Lou-
isville Courier-Journal.
81 want to put an 'ad' in your pa
per-" said the weary-looking man:
make it: Wanted, a situation; any old
job . '.Shall say money no object
suggested the clerk. No; make it OBJ
ject matrimony' If could get ac-
quainted with a decent job I'd be Will
ing to marry it for life. "-Philadelphia
Press.
Nell-Does she speak French at all? She
says she does.
Belle-oh. yes. just enough to make her.
self unintelligible.Pn iiaoeiph1a Aeoser-
Friend Of the Family-why do you al
ways speak Of your father as the gov
son-It pleases him so much. He never
really has say in anything; mother 10
Mamma-Did you have a good time at
Dorothy's party, Harold?
Mamma-What little girl did you dance
with?
per had two plates of ice cream an
| got most of Jim Browns when he wasn't
loolin' An he hit me an / licked the
| Doctor Ito pressing creditor)-If you
Vou might den come s0u with your head tied up
| so that people would think you were
patient!-London Tit-Bits.
| Your face certainly does seem famil-
lar said the indignant young maiden as
| she wiped a stolen kiss from of her ruby
| lips.-Cornell Widow.
she-Did you ever see real. live train
robber?
lHe-Yes. have encountered two dis
tinct species in my travels
She-Regular desperadoes?
| He-Oh, no; just candy butchers and
| Pullman porters.-Chicago News.
live" the physician told him.
Then don't say anything about 1t, doc
tor" said the consumptive sport 4 can
get a whole lot of bets on that PROPOSE
ton. "-Chicago Tribune.
good resolutions, vez may sa-afely ask i'm
whot he's been doin' that he's ashamed av.
baltimore American.
Caller-Are you sure your mistress is
| Bridget-Oi am not; but she sames to be.
so it's not fur me to doubt it-Philadelphia
Ledger.
The wife-shall have your dinner
Husband (feebly)-No. Just order it
| thrown overboard.-Life.
| THE learned counsel for the defence
said the plaintiffs attorney, appears to
be afraid of losing his case. Otherwise,
why isn't he ready to go on?'
I've a good excuse, % replied the counsel
| for the defence.
cuses no e."-Phiiadelphia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14
THE ARTFUL DODGEI

THE ARIFUL DODIEFt.
The sultan's time is all filled dodg-
ing bombs when he not lodging
bills.-Chicag Inter-Ocean-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

Mamma-Did you have a good time at
Dorothy's party, Harold?
Harold should say 1 did. great.
Mamma-What little girl did you dance
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

Friend of the Family-Why do you al
ways speak of your father as 1.-The gov
ernor."
Son-It pleases him so much. He never
really has a say in anything; mother Ia
the real executive.-Detroit Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

Doctor Ito pressing creditor)-f you
must bring your bill every day, at least
you might come with your head tied up,
so that people would think you were
patient!-London Tit-Bits.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

Your face certainly does seem famil-
iar'' said the indignant young maiden as
she wiped a stolen kiss from of her ruby
lips.-Cornell Widow.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

Harold didn't dance none. But at sup
per I had two plates of ice cream an
got most of Jim Browns when he wasn't
lookin' An he hit me an 1 licked the
stuffin' out of him.-Cleveland Leader
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

she-Did you ever see real. live train
robber?
He-Yes. have encountered two dis
tir1ct species in my travels.
She-Resular desperadoes?
He-Oh, no; just candy butchers and
Pullman x1OrferS--Chicaq News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-14

Whin yez hear a mon shoutin' out is
good resolutions vez may sa-afely ask i'm
whot he's been doin' that he's ashamed av.
l-Raltimore American.
The Washington times., 1905-12-27

The salad Of white asparagus will be
of the right weight after the fish and
roast, and then may come the ice and
assorted cakes. Blanched almonds viii
serve nicely with the coffee, and Il is
not new idea TO serve rock candy in
stead of loaf sugar for the sweetening &
of the coffee at crystal wedding affairs.
The result is declared by many 20 be
quite as appetizing although an equal
number might not find IL so. Finally. let
a great plate of candied white grapes or
the grapes frosted with sugar be borne
to the table on n large glass dish and
the hostess will clip lunches of for the
guests
If this can be done. partners for the
first dance which Will follow the dinner
may be chosen by tying the names upon
the stems Of the grapes, the names OF
the men being placed on one side and
those of the women on the other.
Following the dinner there should be
a short program of regular dances and
the evening may close with 4 short cOtil-
lon. One set may be a wedding figure
under wedding bells suspended from
the ceiling and tiny bridal bouquets
bouttonieres, wedding wells and rings
duplicate marriage licenses and the like
may be given as souvenirs. The crystal
wedding set may be a May pole
dance. with strings OF glass beads com
| ing from under one immense glass ball
Copyright. 1905. by Joseph B. Bowles)
The Washington times., 1905-12-27
Umbrella Hints.

When coming in out Of the rain. let
the umbrella down and stand Il on its
handle that 1t may dry in this position
as the water will thus drip from the
frame and The cover dry uniformly. II
placed with the handle upward, as is
too often the case, the water runs TO the
top or the umbrella and the moisture is
retained In the lining underneath the
ring, causing the silk or other fabric to
become tender and soon rot, saws Home
Notes.
a silk umbrella, especially, is much
injured by being left open To dry; the
SILK becomes stretched and stiff. and If
thus treated. will soon split
The Washington times., 1905-12-27
For Weak Eyes

Girls who are obliged 10 use their
eyes for studying at night are often
troubled by their aching or smarting.
though there is nothing really the mat
ter with them. To help this weakness
OF the eye muscles (for that is the
weak poinD take a handful Of fresh
red peppers or ginger root and pour
over them a half pint Of alcohol. Wipe
the eyebrow and about the temple with
this mixture two or three times day,
letting II dry on. A strong solution
Of rock salt and rain water is also ex-
cellent to battle the eyes with.
For roughened or tanned hands. take
horse chestnuts, peel and dry them in
the oven Pound or grind them into a
fine powder Use a tablespoonful OF
this powder in the water each time you
wash your hands.
The Washington times., 1905-12-27
Dear Love:


pub
of
rational supposions the
allow II and
would refuse but
0
probably but think
of
Il 1
would from it would like
the connection and would
o
dream and when the will
10 ell
that had
again
Oh the
Iwish
had the faculty Of writing thoughts
would through hands the critics the
marks that would be made Of them by literary people The hhe
1 must notpa too
attention them but then they make
said a
wise Now am
a
The Washington times., 1905-12-27

model will to the of
the
romb 20 i
bodice
The Washington times., 1905-12-27
A Golf Storp

A golfer, carrying a bundle of clubs
was hurrying along a back street on
his way to the links. when a woman.
standing at her door, accosted him with
the words. Man, but ye're late"
Yes said the golfer, rather sur
prised. "but think I'll have time for
one round yet" "Ay," said the woman
but We maun mind there's twa," saws
Home Notes. Two what?" said the as
tonished golfer. Two chimneys Are We
no the sweep"
The Washington times., 1905-12-27
Golden Fruit Mullins

With two cups of corn meal mix a
cup of -four. four teaspoonfuls of sugar.
two of, baking powder. add half of one
of salt. with tablespoonful of butter,
a cup and a half OF milk. two eggs beat
en- separately. and a cup of any kind
of fruit. peeled and sliced. or a cup Of
berries. Put together as above. the
whites of the eggs folded in last A
part of the flour may be nut over the
fruit to prevent it's settling.-Harper' S
Bazaar.
Milford chronicle., 1905-10-13
Women In Church.

The following remarkable notice ha
been issued by the Rev. G. NJ. Parsons
vicar of CranstOck church, Newquay
Cornwall:
"CranstOck church is closed until fur
ther notice except at hours of divine
service. The church has hitherto been
freely open. 1t is deplOrable that il
cannot so remain, as it ought to. This
is wholly due to the irreverence of
numbers of women who, walking IN
covered, presume to enter Gods house
with no sign of reverence or mOdesty
upon their heads. A small veil on ker-
chief would betoken this and be sufii-
cient, but remOnstrance during several
seasons has proved in vain.
'Such refusal by men to offer the
customary respect of uncovering would
justify their exclusion from Gods
house. The corresponding refusal by
women to cover their heads obliges it.
The church is closed with deepest re-
gret and shame for the cause. 1t will
mean much loss to the church of the
devotion and offerings Of the reverent-
ly disposed. 1t is hoped, however, that
the solemn protest thus made in Gods
name will bring thOughtless persons to
a better sense of what is due to his
presence and glory, so that his house
may speedily be set open as freely as
before. e."-LOndon Telegraph.
Milford chronicle., 1905-10-13

of men. Do they spiritually see youl
Are you spiritually in the city and yet
not part of it? How many Of the men
| you pass in daily life look up at you
/ with a smile and say, You helped me
| to Christ" "You extended to me a
saving hand when l was struggling in
the quicksands of a great temptation" :"
''By the noble work of your life you
have been a Christian example which
has inspired me TO lead a Christian
life" How many of all the men and
women you have known in this city
life can speak thus to you? Onei
Ten? One hundred? A thousand? {?
Are you spiritually to your friends
what l was in Boston many years ago?
Are You in one of the silent placesY
Then, my brother, if you have neg
lected the spiritual opportunities of life
for the great outside world, how have
you dealt with those of your own
home? Did you never realize that a
husband and wife could live side by
side for years and never know each
other in the deeper and in the holier
sense? Did you never realize that there
can he great silent places" between
brothers and sisters, between parents
and children, between children and par
ents? "Silent places" there are in
which peoples souls do not commingle
and know each other in holy fellow /
ship My God, can it be that there are
spiritual silent places" between us
and the lives of our dear ones? Can
it be that there is any mother here who
has not talked with her children about
Christ? Is there any wife here who
has not talked to her husband about
Christ? Are there any men or women
here who have spiritual silent places
IN which God is calling them to go and
work in his vineyard? VIII you go
md labor for him?
Copyright 1905 by Louis Klopsch.I
Milford chronicle., 1905-10-13
A MedIeaI E.tImate of Prayer.

At the recent annual meeting Of the
British Medical association DR.. TheO-
dere B. Hyslop. superintendent of the
Bethlehem Royal hospital, a specialist
in neurology and in the treatment of
mental disease, said: "As an alienist
and one whose whole life has been
concerned with the sufferings of the
mind, I would state that of all hy-
gienic measures to counteract disturb
ed sleep, depressed spirits and all the
miserable sequels of a distressed mind,
would undoubtedly give the first
place to the simple habit Of prayer