The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-04-22
N IsEAcREs are continually tell
 y ing the world how to be happy.

 w It is How to be happy though married" How to be happy on thirty cents a week." How to be happy with your mother-in-law" How to be happy in a flat How to be happy though wealthy" and then for change they tell us what constitutes the pursuit of real happiness. Were you to act on this plethora of advice you might possibly be happy but the chances are that the multiplicity of rules laid down would in the end make you very unhappy. You will observe that the Solomonesque indi- viduals who are always telling the world how to wag are sometimes themselves discouraging examples and can not man. age their own small affairs. The man who tells you how to get rich probably draws a salary of s25 week and will never make over s5OOO a year. Similarly, the experts on happiness are not always themselves embodiments of bliss. The best course to follow in a matter of this kind is to stay away from Don't Worry clubs and be happy according to your own way of thinking.
 James Whtcomb Riley, the Hoosier poet, has been appealed to by citizens of Hancock county. Indiana for assistance in their fight to have "The Ole Swimming Hole on Brandywine creek preserved. The march of commercialism which threatens to straighten the course of the creek would destroy the site of the 'hole'' made famous by Riley in his poem. It is pleasant to contemplate the true aes- theticsm revealed by the Indianans who wisch to protect this sacred spot from defamation. Certain property holders de- sire to improve the creek but Hoosiers with poetic temperament object. Twas ever thus. Progress pays scant heed to the localities made dear by tradition. It is to be hoped that '"The Ole Swimming Hole will be spared. although 1t Is probably not in the same class with a bath tub for sanitary purposes.
 A Chicago man who Is named Scheuck, and is probably of German stock, has abandoned his wife because she insisted on keeping up the honeymoon to such an extent that 1t interfered with his bus mess. In few words, he was '1oved tc death" and in order to escape the deluge of affection he left his happy home. One of the complaints made by the unfortu- nate man is that frequently his wife called him up over the telephone short time after ne had reached his office and when he went back in hot haste to find out what was the matter she asked, Why didn't % tiss oo's honey bunch dis morn ingP It looks like Heuck is entitled to something, but the judge who has this case under advisement needs all the 'hoss" sense in his anatomy.
 A Connecticut farmer was lacerated by a dog which he bought for 50 cents. His feelings at being chewed to a pulp by a cheap dog like that can readily be im- agined.
 A new style of farewell which promises to prove popular with get-rich-quick con cerns that are going out of business is, "You are all suckers" It is hardly so musical and felicitous-being more cold blooded and direct-as Goodbye. you suckers, goodbye" but it tells 8 long story In a few words. The former vale- dictory was used by Chicago company which did business on promises; the latter was made famous by a Kansas City, Mo-, firm.
 Montana has joined the yelping pack after the beef trust and members of the combine have been ordered to appear April 25 to answer the charge of com- bining and unlawfully fixing the prices of meat and meat products" This move ment will continue until the beef trust really becomes harassed.
 It is rather interesting to note that young Herbert N. Hartman, a cousin of the railroad magnate and a son of the late Oliver Hartman of New York, has given up his position as a clerk in the auditing office of the Union Pacific rail-
 
 TN INT F