Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-11-25

Can hear the rustlin of a dollar bill
A hundred yards away;
But few are all the dollar bills today.
The trees shed more and more
OF gold that's worthless at the grocery
store'
That will not jingle-save IN idle dreams.
Yet, thankfully we go:
And if we freeze, when falls the blind
ing snow,
Wen melt not, in the days
When summer sets the broad world in
blaze!
Atlanta Constitution.
During the civil war the late Col Gabc
Bouck organized regiment which he
controlled as a dictator. according to
Everybodys Magazine. 1t was while the
army was resting after Col. Gabe's first
campaign that an itinerant evangelist
wandered into camp, and. approaching
the colonel. asked if he was the COM
manding officer.
affectionately called, what do you
want"
II am the humble servant of the Lord
endeavorng to save the souls of the un-
the til Massachusetts, where l was in
strumental in leading eight men into the
paths of Righteousness"
"Adiutant,'' Numbered Colonel Bouck,
clllcT Il UlOllleul pause, uetull ltil lIcl.
for baptism. No = Massachusetts regi-
ment shall beat mine for piety!''
Mr. Brown had just had telephone
| connection between his office and house,
and was very much pleased with it. /.
Il tell you Smith, he was saying, ''this
telephone business is Il wonderful thing.
1 want you to dine with me this evening.
and ! will notify Mrs. Brown to expect
YOU.
Brown speaking Through the Telephony
My friend Smith will dine with us this
| evening.
Now listen and hear how plain her re-
ply comes back.
Mrs. Browns reply came back with
startling diStinctncSs:
Ask your friend Smith if he thinks we
keep Il hOtel?'
Prof. Richards of Yale enjoys a joke.
Such was the case when one of the stu
dents said to Kim:
professor, wouldn't you like a good
| recipe for cato hing rabbits?'
Why. YES; replied the professor.
what is it?''
We'll. you crouch down behind Il stone
wall and make Il noise like n turnip"
Quick as a flash came the reply:
'Oh. Il better way than that would be
| for you to go and sit quietly in IL bed of
cabbage heads and look natural
Think" SAID the teacher "of II little
| creature that wriSgles about in the earth
| and sometimes comes to the top through
| i tiny hole"
| "a worm" said Il small boy
| Yes" said the teacher, now think of
| another little creature that wrigglcs about
in the earth and comes to the top through
| Il small hole
| Another worm" shouted the youngster
| in triumph
| Among the hills of Sligo there IS q
| small lake renowned in that region foi
l IN |
Daily Post tells the following story con
corning it, A well known professor,
vino was in that part of ireland this
| summer. started one day for IL mountain,
accompanied by a native guide. As they
| climbed Pat asked him if he would like
to sec the lake ''for it's no bottom at all
sorr." How do you know that. PATE?
asked the professor. We'll. sorr. I'll
| pond to a gentleman one day. sorr and
| he looked incredulous like. just as you
| do, and me cousin couldn't stand it foI
| him to doubt his word, sorr and 50 he
| said. I'll prove the truth of mo words
| he said, and off with his clothes and into
the water he jumped" The professor
face wore an amused and quizzical OK
preston. yes. sor, in he jumped, ana
didn't come up again. at all. at all
But. said the professor. II don't sec
| that he proved the point by drowning
himself rs it drowned? Divil a BIZ
| drowned at all he was. Sure, didn't 4
| cable come from him next day in Ameri.
| Cd askin for his clothes to be sent on"
A woman living in town not far from
| New York commissioned her husband
| While In the city to purchase a motto fol
| the Sunday school. After he had left il
suddenly occurred to her that she had
neglected to tell him the desired inscrip.
| ton or the proper size of the card. Go
ing nearby telegra PHI Office she wrote out
Il message to her husband containing the
| necessary information, and handed it tt
the operator. 1t read as follows:
| John johnson, Broadway New
| York City:
Unto Us Child Is Born-s feet long
and feet wide
When the last Cleveland baby was born
Mr.: Cleveland was asked about The
Dr. Bryant, who was present. interrupted
the ex-President to say that the nurse
had reported the young hopeful to be al
| eight-pOunder.
Well. said Mr.. Cleveland, 81 know
for weighed him with the same scale:
that l use when I go fishing.'
A college president, noted for the eX
IRENE correctness of his language ant
ms closeness In money matters. once
bought pair or ready made trousers anc
had them sent home. The bill read:
'To ]. A. Thompson. debtor. one mai
pants, five dollars"
The pedagogue called on Mr. Thompson
and said pants" was incorrect: i
I've been in the clothing bushes.
twenty years and I've always sold two
grades Of goods. pants and trousers
trousers are everything over five dollar
IN price; pants everything five dollars art
under. us Pants ! sold you, and it.
pants you'll pay for