The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-01-22


9th closer than ~ broth of n sSl$
Yoi, couldn't got him e Do anything
Irregular. II no would oriy lie Gr steal al
or ON bossle, or be Re wish and insulting,
or idlotlc ana BRITISH, YOU could stand tan,
him 81. no. lie over goes ttie8eyer, tenor
OK hs way, without aUjif1uclis ns fforditig
the world d seconds excitement during
his entire lifetime a5 is
88 You Know Il whole ogran,rle6 IN adj
|spriso you. An attack with an axe OF. Sa,
Eb0se- bali bat would disturb h n ua.s
|Enimity 4; t1e would be pract ical a "a ~
tlonnl In the face OF an er ion Of $Mo unts
Pciee; utidistlrbed IL the tootlngss OF Ga
|sbriel' 81 trump were sounding IN his ear RI
and sensible and proper * g whole lei le:f
|stnalof seminary were to attempt tofS Kiss
llhlm simultaneously. .Sfs.s
a HIS hair Ii gcut{ jtst as 1t should 4 be.
|Eneittergtoo long nor too short III always
Keeps rcasora bly, vel XII shaved VI WI flouts
I.taving his face either bristly or u lished
like q billiard ball; his lotlies, though
not ot n the extreme cut, 81 are rca sOnab 81 W
near the proper mode his hands and feet
are neither too large nor too small nor
are they or racttvely
Bhapely. s3
nor gray nor blue: 81 his yebroWs5 are
neither lemon colorcd nor da sly pencil leo
meth her bcctirlg snor sea nj
|a$O ON every public II question ne taxes h -
conservative View! He never ma kes an hssa
OF hmsef none OF Jus do ina 9 ReYettl.
and yet liant tterace from ~ ne
lips would throw YOU into connipti.o1A tits
or spasmodc conv ulsiors ssS MI
SG1n times OF sorrow and distress 81 h g'
ldeccn tly syrlpathetics and much more cor
rect and to the point In his met i DDS q
EXPRESSION than thousand 81 b,unde
tongue tied mortals, yet he on g
your trouble. XII a w
II he cita tes sou he does - Jan,
Eguage which when ten DO Wn2s s y oulds
sound perfectly prop but al the The same
YOU fecl hat hts every syl able Is TT te--
that hig8 Intended skindnesses ire Ike the
delicate attentions paid by an Sadgur#8 e
q Knot hole In as pine ood plank U
sIS II n view III Ill N hese emo MS enge
1ercd by the convertio nal bore, y y or VI
}wonder tina you find yourself lone ng TO
30 nj IL h!s flnisll?6 Lay g side al!$
Thoughts Of revenge for the ness
has jected Into 5y
selfscurIous to- know wl1e thcr ne WIZ y
fash on hat Wit houtS
~ Il aYn to he l1,o,lt OF i 1859
fclugterin around his Sd eath bed. ~ hat
ever doubts you may ente rtnin as TO MS
enc, VI you k1,ow full well you can bear p
under His loss, rhe very < movie Sc f;oi 4
the I'd Ct that he is on the same p ane,t
with You As an girritant and this sense l
81 irritation Increased by the Offenders
obvious j ,ve % you ssocie. Y.
Ii Now ordinarily ", I'M no sdra So o s;
n1tno taur, NJ 81 roy al Bengal ID iser hrs n
~ = for Tie red {i,lice of$my llowmortnl
1hlit a @ fanc YIN i n could fully attend
tho han cling OF few oc the Ind ID uals
Described 4 and be "a VERT able Sum- I'M.
when the drop fell. or would m pre-
gence be duo to my gre Wsome ISL ISL q
>tnsttncts, OF to my innate love OF sensaTe
tons, 50 For would know at 81 he start
that tt,e hanging 81 ~ convert lonal bore
would be entirely IL cking In excl ting ms
fcidents and about as GU t-a nd eds an
AFFAIR az one could patch up Il on Il g gall
lows tree. The Vic img Of course, would
jS...ascend tho st cps wit h n a firm step
would thank the flsers for past cour-
Stesies VI would express HIS Mnnti faith
N his he req ter, q and would court ously
assist II, adjusting the blac kf ca p. a nd
Furthermore no would BIO pionounced5 dead
IN the prescribed mot 9 N minute ~
sooner: or ter. z
as But alas and ala OK: also thund EZRA ton
we cannot slbbet the bores or hear them
sizzling ana squirmtng md q Tying In
the electric chair. Literally and gura-
lively; s eaking. wa have them With US
always. 81 They arc fixed inst tutlonsss---s
doubtless indispsnsa BE Inst tonss q here
are perhaps some who even egard them IN
as civilizations seda tives and opsatt ties.
But&I an, not Of this class. Z hey m axe
me nght1ng mad. II n b !: sS
The only antidote for the evil Is the
;society4o the freak ish----t he company q
people who are Sunconventi onal and fly In
the face Of H the ord mary q ,eneties $of
life. That Is why I hun up folks who ,let
their hair. grow long and who wear seflk
hats with brown sack coats, anything to
get out sof theSs awful, humdrunl, eYerY-5
day existence. with Its three m Gals and
its stcreotyped twad die. an d d Its virtuous
surprise at those who dare to he or ginal.
Vii any, three headed lad y who has ~ cons
tempt for good manners and who does
mot mind wearing q white luck suit Sat5
this season, wants a. beau, N be fellow low
for hipl.s 5{5
:: !:
a. Is