Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-12-02
CHARACTER SKETCHES

The curiosity of folks who live In some O
these boarding houses, observed a man
| who. rather late in life. is just now begin
ming to buck UP and think the matrimonial
situation over, may not actually keep 'em
awake at night, but FL bet a hat that 1t
| makes most Of 'em toss a lot in their
sleep.
AT the boarding house where I'm making
occasional calls. I've noticed this thing par
| ticularly Of late. The-er-young lady,
when I get there. Is always dressing, OF
course. and will be down In q few minutes.
as am invariably informed by the grin
! ming black girl who uses kinkene on her
locks. when she comes padding to answer
my ring.
Then I'm ushered into the parlor. You
know the kind Of parlor of boarding houses
| Of certain distinct type In Washington.
| Pictures in faded oil OF the 1andlady's four
deceased husbands on the parlor wa1ls-all
| OF EN- with their side-hair brushed for ard
Of their ears-a big gilt clock with a crack
| ed glass over the mantelpieee, frame OF
| waxy tube-roses on black velvet hanging
| above the clock. and forcing you to dwell
| upon your finish: horse-hair chairs with
porcupine seats. faded red plush lounges
| that you side-step If you're wise. bound
| volume of Godeys Ladies Magazine for
| 1854 on the center table, an aged and de-
CTeplt-iOOhluS Squire piano with
| keys Off on one side, and on top OF the
| piano copies of such songs as Lily Dale
| and Silver Threads Among the Gold and
| Molly Darling published In 1868, just
after the croo-el war was over, and In an
| other shadowy corner what-not heaped
| up with the kind Of sea shells that you
used to read about it The Swiss Family
| Robinson and pieces of coral, and big
| apple that was stuffed full of cloves back
| in 1871 by the landlady's niece that died
| of consumption, pore thing, and her so
l F,,J 1T -
! Washington boarding house parlor l mean,
all right
'As enter this dark and musty-smelling
| parlor. rat of a black-and-tan terrier
| that looks to be about ia years Of age
snuffs at the bottoms of my trousers and
| begins to squeak at me. and when try
to motion the nuisance away with one of
my feet-swiftly propelled-a very old lady
| In black silk dress and white cap with
| purple ribbon run through it, haven't per-
| ceiyed her before on account of the dingy
| darkness of the parlor-hurriedly picks the
| snarling dog up, scowls fiercely at me,
mulnbles something about men being worse
| than some dogs and swishes painfully up
| stairs carrying the SQueaklng kl-yl with
| her.
| Then an aged man In a skull cap and
| Tapping green-and-red carpet slippers over
| white socks, with his long, shiny broadcloth
| coat buttoned closely around him, althoug h
| the temperature of the parlor is 2ST cent?
| grade, gropes his way into the room, and,
not being able to make me out as l stand
|
| emits a senle Shrek of alarm, and then.
| recognizing me as male person who has
been there several times previously to call
upon one of the young women guests of the
! house, grins and leers at me, and rechons
| that It's going to turn colder, and expects
that she'll be down Directly, although it's
none of his business, as he isn't even dis
| family connected with her. and then, when
| fail to encourage him in conversation,
slides out, grnning back upon me as If he
| considered that l was making seventeen
| different kinds Of an ass of myself.
Then woman who still dresses con-
siderably like the way women used to dress
| right after the war, according to pictures
| I've seen-wig held -fall-wise by g.
net, some crinoline beneath her green satin
! skirt, sort of a red basque with teenchy
| tabs in the back, and with the old red
dopesky plastered on her cheek-oones to
| give her sort of hectic-6ushy Camille eff
feet, hurries into the parlor from the
stygian dark dining room. l can't help but
| ina CINE that 1 hear her Joints creak as
| she enters. She pretends that she's got
whole lot Of business in the parlor. looks
| me over with great care out of the corners
| of her eyes, makes out as if she's interested
in the yellow pages OF Godey LADIES' BOOK
| self, after casting back a sort Of con-
temptuous and vituperattve glance upon
me, as much as to say that l look as II !
ought to know better than TO be calling upon
| young person not yet arrived at the age
of sense or discretion. etc. etc
THE curiosity extending even to the ami
| shell cat with unseeing topaz eyes totters
over my way, investigates me, rubs him
self or herself against my trousers leg for
| a while, leaving enough gallery hair on
| them to stuff sofa pillow and then wab-
bles out into the hall and disappears. prob
ably to tell the rest of 'em that that fell
| Ter that calls upon Miss So-and-so is in
| the parlor.
| "Then three raucous- voiced young men
with pomaded hair, who look as If they
might belong to the night shift In laun-
4 y fair a
me as they pass by the parlor door, wink
| sagaciously at each other and jerk their
| thumbs toward the stairs, and go out, grin
ming broadly, and banging the doors after
them.
| faced lady with 4 voice like a lathe work
ing overtime, hustles down the stairs. de-
| handing to know, at every step, What $
| become O. them towels. I'd jes like t
| know and when she sees me In the DIM
ness of the parlor-as if she didn't come
down for the sole purpose of rubbering-
she glances in upon me with an accusing
glare and shifts, and then turns and goes
back up the stairs, saying something nail
audible about people that has the nerve
to want to keep the parlor of a public
boarding house all the time etc.
Then the Fourth Floor Back, a superan.
nuated suds artist. a clerk OF forty years
standing in one of the departments, who
never gets home to the boarding house din
ner, but who always arrives promptly at
pm, with bun hefty enough to KEEP
in through the hall, and. perceiving me in
the semi darkness, grins wisely. as much
as to say, We'll, here's that bone-hea6
again. calling upon that girl. l s'pose and
then he wabbles in and asks me whether
think Hearst's goin' t beat EN- out In
New York, and then, not being encouraged
with much CUFF my part, wabbles gu,
again, favoring me with a parting leer OF
understanding as he passes under the Intel
'Then the whistlng silk goods clerk, who
has at last mastered the kinks and In
tricacies of In the Shade of the Old Apple
Tree and wants everybody to know 1t, salls
| iauntily down the stairs, merrtly piping
and, as he passes the parlor door. looks
in and perceiving me, sort of ho-hos and
he-he's under his breath, as much as t.
say, Well. that Teller Is here again, hey?
and pipes his way out. after bestowing q
kind OF arch and roguish wink at himself
in the mirror of the hall hat rack.
"I,hen the young woman upon whom !
have come to call makes her appearance
and for the remainder of the call l have
her to lean upon-metaphorically spea gina
OF course-when the rest OF the boarding
house rubber necks show up and do theil
peeking and peering around"
English Spelling.