The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-10-14
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49, foA.

Cholly-I have a beastly cold In my
head Molly-Well, that's something.
what did your husband think of
that $50 hat you bought last week.
"Ohl he just raved over it-"-Grit
Tommy-Pop, what are hiccoughs7
Pop-Hiccoughs, my son,
are messages from departed spirits
Philadelphia Record.
Wife-John, you've been drinking.
o, l can tell Husband-Well, don't
do 1t, m'dear. Let'sh keep it family
shecret-Philadelph Press.
JeffreysEHow does your brother
take married life? Esther-Accord-
ing to directions His mother-in-law
is living with him-Brooklyn Life.
He-But l thought you'd forgiven
me for that and promised to forget
It? She-Yes-but l didn't promise to
let you forget I'd forgiven itl-Punch.
First Insurance Magnate-What is
your favorite theatrical productionf
Second Insurance Magnate-'Other
Peoples Money."-Baltimor Ameri-
can.
She-And do you really love me for
myself alone? He-Sure. That's why
don't want your mother to live with
us after we are enthusiastically
Journal
Mr.. Snooks-To what, sir, do you at
tribute your success as a salesman?
Mr.. sellem-If a customer doesn't see
what he wants 1 make him want what
he sees.-Cleveland Leader.
Madge-Did Charlie propose to you
out in the auto? Dolly thought he
was going to, but he didn't When he
got down on his knees, it was only to
crawl under the old machine.-Puck.
Can you get work for meY asked
the willing young man. I'm afraid
not" replied the Congressman, but l
can get you government job, If tina t
will help any."-Chicago Daily News.
Mrs. Browne wonder II the new
order Of things will reform Mr.. Lusch-
ley to any extent. He's married,
understand Mrs Malaprop-Yes, he's
benedictine now.-Philadelphi
Press.
hard, and, in a year pr two, Wen have
our own little home In the country
She-Ohl how lovely. We can rent 4
and board in town, can't we, dear?-
Brooklyn Life.
Chicago used to aspire to be a lit
erary center" YES" answered the
New Yorker. what do you consider
the best thing published there 1.-THE
timetable. showing when trains
leave" Star.
"Ah," she sighed, sometimes l car
hardly convince myself that l am no
growing old" well" her deares
friend replied, that's what comes o.
having mirrors scattered all aroun'
the house"-Chicago Record-Herald
t HE hasn't been in politics yer.
| long, has hep mo, but how did yol
known 81 was walking with him to
0 day just as a police patrol wagol
l dashed up behind US. and he didn'
D start guilty or look nervous at all.
D Philadelphia Ledger.
5 Don't you think 1t is wrong 70
D your husband to bet on horse races
r said the prudent woman. ut is. yer
3 frequently" answered young Mrs. Tol
e kins. 1.-The trouble is that you can
: tell when until after the race is rur
T and then it's too ate."-Washingto
o Star.
First Office Boy-Why did yer troy
/ up yer Job at Biffum & Bangs? See
b ond Office Boy-Why, couldn't stan
o old Bangs impudence. He had d
n crust ter tell me, right ter me face an
5. before de hull Office, ter git out Nv d
e place and never come backl Dat WI
IS de last strawl-Life.
K The Doctor have just returne
from a weeks shooting trip up mort
J. The Druggist-Kill anything? II
e Doctor-No; not a thing. The Dru
q gist-Huhl You could have done be
ter than that by staying at home al
'e attending to your regular business
&c Chicago Daily News.
II suspect" said Mrs. Oldcast
&c that our new minister is a transce
,, dentalist." "Oh," replied her hostei
~ as she carelessly tossed her rope
L pearls over the back OF the chair, g
IL YOU think so? Myi I'd hate to
y one of them. l should think they
% fall downstairs or something. gett
up and prowlin' around that way
Sc their sleep."-Chicago Record Hera
81 never do things by halves"
marked Biffkins, and the waiter at
ed elbow put on an expectant grin.
~ had only expected a fifty-cent tip
~ maybe the gentleman would give b
II, more. "As l was saying" said Ri
n kins, pushing back his chair and I
It. cepting his hat, II never do things