davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-02-28

The La Grande Observer makes
the following pertinent comparison
for Oregon's benefit: The people of
Oregon, on reading the numerous
thrusts made at our state, ostensiby
i'm humorous vein, by the press
frcm outside the state, because of tn.
dilemma into which one of our United
States senators, two representatives
in congress and numerous other
prominent citizens of the state have
been placed by the United States
grand jury, feel very much like the
Hoosier boy, who in hunting coons
one night, barefooted, knocked the
nail off of his big toe on a beech root.
On being asked by his companions
how he felt pointed to his bleeding
toe and said, cit hurts too bad for me
to laugh with you and am too big to
cry.''
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-02-28

child urinates too often, if the urine scalds
the flesh, or if, when the child reaches an
age when it should be able to control the
passage, it is yet afflicted with bed-wet-
ting, depend upon it, the cause of the diff
Guilty is kidney trouble, and the first
step should be towards the treatment of
these important organs. This unpleasant
trouble is due to a diseased condition of
the kidneys and bladder and not to
habit as most people suppose.
Women as well as men ale made miser-
able with kidney and bladder trouble,
and both need the same great remedy.
The mild and the immediate effect of
Swamp-ROot is soon realized. 1t is sold
by druggists, in fifty EYt
cent and one-dollar AfllHHk4 1ss;;ss$..:E s$..:::EEs
size bottles You may sHl!I:ei;st li;sE1
have a sample bottle 44eIsssfG A1:s.sssestzGe
by mail free, also a Home of swamp-Root.
pamphlet telling all about Swamp-Root,
including many of the thousands of testi-
monial letters received from sufferers
cured. In writing DIR. Kilmer & Co.,
Binghamton, N. Y, be sure and mention
this paper. Don't make any mistake,
but remember the name, Swamp-Root,
DR.. Kilmer's Swamp-Root, and the ad-
dress, Binghamton, N. ", on every
! bottle.
The weekly messenger., 1905-08-19

Mr.. Louis VOORHEES, was re-ap-
pointed Cadet by the Police JURY
at the last meeting. We have al
ways understood the intention of
the law and the appointment of a
Cadet to be until his graduation,
and not for one term or one ses-
sion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-03-25
HONEST ABE. U. S. NJ.
The Rural Mail Man Has Busy
Poetic Week.

I had only started in on my route
last week when 1 met Uncle Joe era
ham on the road, and he stopped me to
say:
this morning, whether you have got any
letters or not. Aunt Martha has got a
favor to ask you"
When I got along to the house I ran
in to see what was wanted. and Aunt
Martha brought me glass of cider
with some grated nutmeg on top and
then said:
cts lust this, Abe Jim Perkins had
a calf die about two weeks ago, and the
windmill man who is boarding there
has written a, piece of poetry about it,
and they are Dragging to beat the band.
She was here Growing over me yester-
day, and she says she is going to have
it published in the county paper. l
want something to beat it. We lost our
old spotted COW last week, and l am
sure you can make up some cow-poetry
and beat that calf-poetry all to mash =
but my poetry is about angels, bah
bling brooks and flowers" replied,
feeling somewhat Inundated that she
should ask me to spread myself on cow
poetry.
Il know it, Abel know it, but this
is an exceptional case. II l don't get
some poetry to match her, Mrs. Perkins
won't leave off growing for year.
While 1 am putting two pounds of but
ter and a sack of dried peaches in your
cart l wish you q SIT GOWN ana ddSu me
off something
Uncle Joe and Aunt Martha are
among my best friends, and I took off
my overcoat and mittens and sat down
to it, and in the course of fifteen min
utes 1 produced the following:
mo more she'll feed in meadows green,
When come the summer breezes;
No more she'll wander in the brook
With water to her kneeses.
..Her lowing will he heard no more
AS summer sun Is sinking;
No more she'll stand and switch the flies
With dreamy eyes a-blinking.
1--WE went to bed without a thought
That danger did surround her;
But when again we saw old Spot
Twas cold and dead we found her.
I'VE do not say she's gone to heaven,
A harp of gold TO finger;
E2lIt we contend there are no flies
In place where she doth linger.
Goodbye. old spot'-good-bye to you
Your days on earth re endeds
But rest assured we won't forget
The milk you have expended
ssay, Abe. that's a corker." exclaim-
ed Aunt Martha, when had read the
verses to her. ''AIrs. Perkins will be
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-03-25

of Washington when not playing, will
assume the leading role for one day.
She has been at work on the piece for
three years
The popularity of the idea of giving a
copy of the book, Quincy Adams Saw
yer,' at the Tooth performance of the
play of the same name at the Boston
theater was shown by the fact that the
orchestra was put under the stage, ev-
cry seat in the house sold, and even
then hundreds were unable to secure
seats. The copies were given to ladies
holding reserved seat checks that even
ing, and 1854 books were required to
meet the demand
Contracts were signed last week
whereby 1.-The Snow Man" will be the
title of a musical production, which, in
a general way, will follow the pattern
of ''Piff, Paff, Pouf." Stanislaus STANCE
will furnish the story and dialogue.
William Jerome will contribute the
lyrics and Jean Schwartz will compose
the score. In 'Piff, Paff, Pouf," the
central comic character was sand
man; in the new play, as indicated by
the title, this character will be a man
of snow.
Last fall Ida Conquest signed g, three
years contract with Thomas w Ryley,
wherein it was agreed that she was to
be starred for that period under the
management of the latter. 1.-THE Money
Makers was presented and failed, and
since that time Mr.. Ryley has been I'M
able to secure another play. Miss Con-
quest thereupon instituted legal pro-
ceedings, and the case will shortly be
heard in the New York courts.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-03-25
THE VALUE OF CHARCOAL.
Few People Know How Useful It Is In
Preserving Health and Beauty.

Nearly everybody knows that char
coal is the safest and most efficient dis
infectant and purifier in nature, but
few realize its value when taken into
the human system for the same cleans
ing purpose
Charcoal is remedy that the more
you take of it the better; it is not a.
drug at all. but simply absorbs the
gases and impurities always present in
the stomach and intestines and carries
them out Of the system.
Charcoal sweetens the breath after
smoking, drinking or after eating
onions and other odorous vegetables.
Charcoal effectually clears and i'm
proves the complexion. it whitens the
teeth and further acts as a natural
and eminently safe cathartic
1t absorbs the injurious gases which
collect in the stomach and bowels: it
disinfects the mouth and throat from
the poison of catarrh.
All druggists sell charcoal in one
form or another. but probably the best
charcoal and the most for the money
is in Stuart's Charcoal Lozenges: thew
are composed of the finest powdered
Willow charcoal, and other harmless
antiseptics in tablet form or rather in
the form of large, pleasant tasting
lozenges. the charcoal being mixed with
honey.
The daily use of these Iozenges win
soon tell in a much improved condition
of the general health, better complex
ion, sweeter breath and purer blood
and the beauty OF II Is IuaI no possible
harm can result from their continued
use, but on the contrary. great bene-
fit
A Buffalo physician in speaking of
the benefits of charcoal, says: Il ad-
wise Stuart's Charcoal Lozenges to all
patients suffering from gas in stomach
and bowels, and TO clear the complex
ion and purify the breath, mouth and
throat: / also believe the liver is great
ly benefited by the daily use Of them:
they cost but twenty-five cents a box
at drug stores, and although in some
sense a patent preparation, yet I be-
iieve I get more and better charcoal
in Stuart's Charcoal I.ozenges than in
any OF the ordinary charcoal tablets"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-03-25

His style has broadened-the lyricist
has grown into the heroic and dramatic
singer. Full. impassioned utterances
now appeal to him, and to make these
possible he has of necessity had to in
crease and intensity his tone The re-
suit is an unavoidable loss of some Of
the golden beauty of the tone. He does
not force his piano beyond its possibili-
ties, but he leads it to the point where
every atom of tonal power it will give
forth without ugliness is required. Per-
haps this intensifying of the piano voice
makes the matches singing tone which
follows only the more enhancing by
contrast.
Certain it is that the audience sat
spellbound throughout every number,
and realized that it was in the presence
of a man who today stands unique in
the world of piano players There is
only one habit which Paderewsh has
acquired which is not cause for salts
faction of his admirers. His pedaling
has ever been exceptional, but he now
has a trick of stamping at the pedal
in fortissimo passages. The result is
unpleasant for the eye, and gives a
suggestion of hard work, the absence of
which has always been one of the great
virtues in his performances.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-03-25

over again in a day or two to read me
her poetry again and make me feel bad,
and I'll spring this on her and make her
hair curl I can't tell you how much
obliged I am, but don't you buy no
more butter this winter. When you are
out just let me know
Half a mile further down the road
found Jim Taylor waiting for me at his
gate, and as I handed him a letter he
put a bag of apples into my cart.
Whats that for?'' I asked.
Because you are the best Teller in
the world and are going to stop a min
ute and write US a little poetry"
whats happened that you want
poetry?"
Didn't you hear that Tom SINNERS
folks had lost a baby?"
mo-
Eyes, lost two-year-old baby, and
they've had a tin peddler write some
verses on to it. They knew about you
bein' a poet, but the peddler said he
could knock the socks off'n you. They
carried the verses to church with 'em
last Sunday and read 'em to everybody
who would listen. Abe, you've got to
beat EN-
but I can't write about the same
kid
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-03-25

to 'leVen,
We are grieving just the same when the
Though we know that Sammy flies
about in heaven"
I stood up and read the verses after
writing them, accompanied by the pro-
per gestures and with a touch Of
pathos in my voice, and the conse-
quence was that Mrs. Taylor ran out
doors to cry by herself, and her hus-
band took me by the hand with tears
in his eyes and said:
ABE, old man, if a man ever tells me
that Napoleon or washington ever got
off anything to beat that I'll call him
a liar to his facei Where does the tin
peddler some in agin that? Where DO
the SINNERS come in? I'm tellin you,
Abe, the hull caboodle of 'em will be
knocked higher'n Gilderoy's kite, ana
don't you believe we shall ever forget
you. I've been reading poetry all my
life and I've been told that knew more
about poetry than 1 did about hogs, and
I say that the acme has been reached.
It's no use for any one else to try
left the Taylors grfeving, but still
happy and drove along to Moses John
sons. The old man was trimming the
trees in his orchard, but he came down
to the gate and said:
ABE, my sister out in Ilancy has lost
her husband, and she has wrote on to
me to send her a piece Of poetry You'll
have to fix it UP for me. No use sayin
you can't do it. for I know you can
I was behind my time, but I followed
him into the house and got particulars
and wrote the following and got out
again in just 10 minutes by the watch:
II write of Perry Perkins, who lived at
And Who died Of bilious collie 'tother
He had been eating turnips as he sat be
side the fire,
way.
HE was taken with the gripes as the
clock was striking ten,
And about an hour later he was dead
The doctor came to dose him, but alas! he
came too late,
For the spirit of poor Perry p. had fed
He was something Of a hog to eat his
But he ls7 surely had kind and loving
And his Sarah she viii grseve for many
TO thin think Il her Perry P. he did depart
"oh. let it be a warning to every other
Not to go and cat his turnips with a
But to chew on something else, If he finds
that he must chaw,
And not leave his grieving widow in the
soup"
When I had read the verses to Moses he
scratched his ear and looked delightful
and then said:
Il don't know about calling him a hog,
Abe, but guess it'll have to stand. Least
wise. If it don't the grievin' wilder viii
have to take it out In plantin' hollyhoclxs
on his grave and chopin her own wood
Copyright, 1906, by T. c. AGcClure.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-03-25
$4,000

Reward will be paid to any
person who can find one atom
of opium, choral, morphine,
cocaine, ether or chloroform
IN any form in any of DR..
Miles Remedies.
This reward is offered because
certain INSCRIPTIONS persons
make false statements about
these remedies. It is under
stood that this reward applies
only to goods purchased in the
open market, which have not
been tempered with in any way.
DIR. Miles remedies cure by
their soothing, nourishing,
Strengthening and invigorat-
ing effects upon the nervous
system, and not by paralyzinp
and weakening the nerves as
would be the case if these drugs
were used.
For this reason DR.. Miles
Anti-Pain Pills are universallv
considered the best pain remedy
7 have. suffered for Is years with
severe pains in my head heart and
back, and have tried evervfhinr-
could get and could not find any RELIEF
until got a. box Of DR. Miles, Anti
Faln Pills. I suffered as long as il
hours at a time with such severe
pans that I feared I would lose nv
nlind- The Anti-Pain Pills gave me
Eelet IN from 10 to 20 minutes, do
4ot nave to use Morphine any more.
=. sslsn you would publish this so that
otner sufferers may find reifef1
L. ~. WAIaESE1R
e ~ No 8. Salem, Ind
,,.-.r- Niies. Antl-Paln Pills are sold BY
go ~ Lagists who VIII Guarantee that
ff urst package will bsnefIt. n Il
g US ne viii return your money.
ssSSs, . cents. Never sold In bulk.
Miles Medical Co., EIkhart, Ind
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-03-25

s'No need to. We lost one ourselves
'Ieven years ago. He never had no
poetry writ on to him, and nows your
chance. You want to lay that tin ped
dIer out colder'n a wedge
1 went into the house with him and
ate a fried cake and drank a glass Of
elderberry wine to get my muse started.
and when felt her bubbling grabbed
at a piece of paper and wrote as fol-
lows:
s'It was little Sammy Taylor, and it was
And tie birds We're singing sweetly in
And his father in the field was a-hoeing
And az aesweating of his Jacket in the
breeze.
1.-THE mother was a-singing as she moved
about the house,
And the lambls1ins frisked and frolicked
beneath the apple trees,
buds
''rhere never was a day with more happi-
And little sammy giggled in his gIee:
But the hand of death was waiting to
clutch him by the throat.
And alter all this happiness, you see.
LAS he toddled here and there. and gig
A thimble on the floor he did espy;
And he put it in his mouth for a lump of
And the consequences the reader won't
deny.
Down his throat the thimbie went, and
he gave a horrid gasp,
And he wriggled as he fell upon the
floor;
And before his mother reached him, alasl
And his struggles with the sinful world
were Ger
beneath the willow tree our Sammy doth
repose,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-03-25
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES AMBITION.
Great Artists Hopes ReaIized-She
Will Have Home in America.

VIII Have Home IN America
"At last my highest ambition is to
Schumann-Heink. Il am going to
have a real home in America-the
land of my success-great, glorious
America Ny children will be with
me here; they will go to the splendid
American colleges; they will carve
out their futures here under my
guidance, and we will be the happiest,
jolhest family in the whole world.
The only thing which ever interfered
with the most complete enjoyment of
my several American tours was the
necessity of being separated from my
bright children. They are a won der
full lot-heaIthy and lively as they
can be.
There is still another important
reason why I must bring the young
sters over here pretty soon. Little
George Washington Schumann-Heink
who was born in this country, insists
that if I don't send for him soon he'll
give his governess the slip and cross
the ocean alone He has great dreams
of going to West Point or Annapolis
and becoming such = wonderful SOL
der or sailor that nothing can stop
him from reaching the highest po-
ntical ambition. have an American
governess for the little fellow, and
she has done as much to build him up
as a patriotic American as she has to
teach him the rudiments of educa-
uonal knowledge I am glad to see
him that way, for ambition is one of
the finest safeguards on earth for
boy or growing young man.
MY youngest daughter insists that
she is going to be a great operate
artist. 1t is a great ambition, but the
struggle to get to the top has so many
disappointments and heartaches that
I am going to keep on advising her
against it as long as can. If she is
still determined after she gets to be
Is or 16 years old III take her in hand,
IA al md va
can't make her a vocal marvel. She
is an extremely pretty child, with a
voice which surpasses anything have
ever heard in one so young
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-03-25
GREEN ROOM GOSSIP.

An Englishman was talking with
Charles Hawtrey, who is starring in
"A Message from Mars" about pro-
posed visit to Chicago.
Il want to see the stockyards, you
know" said the Englishman. Il am
told, don't you know, that in the big
thing about the pig but the squeal.'
''They save the squeal now said
Mr. HaWtrey.
Save the squeal?'' echoed the Eng
liShman- absurd. What could they
do with the squeal ~
''They use it making monographs .
Gustavus Pixley. a comedian in
Babes in Toyland.'' is confident that
he tells the best story of a pessimistic
manager than any one ever has told.
PlXley was once an eccentric whistler,
engaged with a company which pros
pered during long New York run.
The house was sold out at every per-
Torrance, and every one concerned d,
excepting the manager, was happy.
Gus did not appear until late in the
evening, so he used to spend some of
his leisure moments in the Office with
the manager before it was time for
him to make his appearance. One
night Pixley found his friend the
manager in a particularly depressed
state of mind, and being himself of
buoyant disposition, sought to cheer
him up.
Business keeps up fine, doesn't it?''
said the comedian.
mo" replied the manager. ssbusi-
ness is not so good as it was
Why, you turned people away to-
night, as usual, didn't you ~ asked
Pixley.
Yes, I know replied the manager,
but we did not turn them away as
early as we did last night" and he
walked glOomily away.
It was at the Lambs club in New
York not long ago, when some of the
larger bodies of the theatrical firma-
ment had clustered together The
conversation had been reDlete with
caustic remarks about managers and
their apparent lack OF consideration of
the personal comfort of trouDes, in re-
curing them to pack and reDack from
three to five times a week. The "joys
Of the road" and the delights of "a
one-night stand" had all been thor
oughly hashed over when Mr.. Burton
Holmes, who was one of the party,
quietly remarked that cit takes a
strong company to make a week
stand"
Maclyn ArbuckIe OF The County
Chairman" company has a medical
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-03-25

friend who is chiefly remarkable for a
very shiny pate totally devoid of hair
The medico was recently discussing
what he should wear to a masquerade
ball. In his dilemma of which char
acter to assume. he appealed to Ar
buckle, thinking that the actors long
experience on the stage would aid him
in his difficulty. And it did Ma
clyn. what character would you ad-
wise me to assume at the masquerade
ball 20 said the medical man. Ar
buckle pondered a minute. and then
looking at the bald Uranium shining
like the proverbiaI billiard ball. said:
well, Doc. if I were you would put
a little sweet sugar on my head and
go as a sugar-coated pill.
Victory Bateman, not so many years
ago popular and prosperous as a stock
company actress, is said to be this
season compelled by necessity to look
for a position in the rear line of the
chorus and to accept odd engage
nents as extra LADY, in the pro-
auctions of ST. Louis stock com
pany
Miss Bateman's misfortunes have
called to the mind of one of her old
admirers that at one time she dabbled
in writing. and among other things
sent the appended verses to an eastern
periodical:
Only sweet kisses again and again,
While her great blue eyes were dim;
Only promise he made to her
Only a nothing to him
only a summer is past and gone.
And the nights are long and chill;
Only a loving, trusting heart
Is waiting for him still.
oR While S WITH It our G hopes t Depart
Only a woman is left alone,
With only a broken heart.
Miss Mabel harrison has a new verse,
which she is singing in u Can't Do That
Sum" song in Babes in Toyland," dealing
with Prof. Osler's theory that a man is
old at 20 and should be chloroformed at %:
When a man has lived for forty years
No matter what his worth,
Professor Osler says that he
Must then get off the earth:
So. If at forty man must quit,
What, then, shall be the fate
OF the giddy girl of forty-three
Who owns to thirty-eight?
REFRAIN
Put down six and carry forty
To cheat about your age is naughty
Oh. Osler. he can think and think
The answer will not come
If a girl won't tell how old she Is
Why. he can't do that sum.
Thomas Jefferson tells this good
one: A New York vegetarian went to
a restaurant and took seat next to
a stranger.
The Vegetarian took occasion to adj
VerIlSe MS cEGSQ DS l6l1l1lS LuS
that all meat was injurious
and that the human diet should be-
strictly vegetarian.
But" replied the stranger, ''I sell
dom eat meat
you just ordered eggs" said the
IAN egg is practically
meat, because it eventually becomes a
bird"
.sThe kind of eggs I eat never be-
come BIRDS answered the stranger
Good heavensl" cried the vege-
tartan, what kind of eggs do you
eat?"
principally boiled eggs" said the
stranger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-03-25

2 o'clock and the season will close
Saturday night with a grand double
bill beginning at 8 o'clock including
tCavalleria Rusticana' and "Pag-
liacci''
A notable all star caste presents the
operas. Among the leading artists
are the following; Mines. Nordica,
Sembrich, Homer, Fremstad, De
Macchi, Jacoby, Bauermeister, Alien,
milford, MN. Baruso, Burgstaller,
DIPPED, Van Rooy,sTJ Gourmet Muhl-
mann, Scott. Bars, Begue, Nuibo.
etc.. ate.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-03-25

even in the most intricate and brilliant
technical displays purity and nobility
of tone has been observed It is this,
together with the wonderful personality
and the poetic individuality which vital
lied and beautif1ed every phrase he
played, that long has made him an ar
fist in a class wholly by himself. This
tonal purity and nobility has known
some change during the years that have
come and gone since first he visited this
country.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-03-25
GRAND OPERA AT KANSAS CITY.
Notable Artists in the COnried Metro
poIitan Grand Opera Company.

Preparations have been made on a
large scale to convert Convention hall
at Kansas City into a suitable place
for the presentation of grand opera
by the Conried New York Metropoli-
tan grand opera house grand opera
company.
Three performances are arranged
for. The first, ''Parsifal," will begin
at 5 O'Clock on Friday afternoon
March 81 lies Huguenots'' will be
given Saturday afternoon, April 1, at