The Topeka state journal., 1905-04-24
HuMoR oF TIE Day.

Old Friend-Hello. Bin Haven't seen
you in ten years. The last time He met
Rich Quick" What became of you after
that2"
Cot Into Jail quicker. Detroit Free
Press.
Miss Innit-you seemed bored at the
theater last night. Mr.. Knott. Don't you
Mr.. XVyse Knott-oh, snaAespeare's all
right. I spose, but wish ha' turn out
somethin' new.-CleveIand Leader
He-I don't see what makes women such
self on being a good listener
sf4r e6hs b Tsnitg 5t & It zy wem9a 6,1a II liss & to
II she didn't taik2-Detroit Free Press.
The beauty-I've had lots of lfoems writ
ten to me- both serious and humorous but
I've kept only the serious ones.
The other girl-They we're better than
The beauty--oh, no. but they were much
funnier!-Smart Set.
MayHae-So you kissed Jack Tuggins the
other evening. did you?
Edyth-The ideal Did you get it from
1dayme-I don't know; but j hardly
think It was the same cne--Colunbus
Rivers-rve just been paying my share
of the preachers salary and I'm wonder
item under in the household expense book.
Broolks-KVhy not fire insurance preTni-
ums Chicago Tribune.
one Democratic paper in New York has
given up 1895 and is discussing 1912. This
may be called borrowing trouble in case
where the stock on hand is sufficient
Globe-Democrat.
Cos Cob Con-Kind sir, I have no home.
Cynical Citizen-You're lucky; I've got
home with four cozy corners and three
Employer-Whatt the men are threaten
ing to strike! Why! they signed a three
Foreman but that was four months
aRo.-BroolSlyn Life.
II suppose those feasts given By Lucul-
lus were the most expensive ever served.
Lucullus ?What insurance company was
he connected with?''-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Miss Gush1eigh-Im sure. professor, I'm
Immensely hattered that you should leave
talk to poor little me!
Prof. Chumpleigh-WeI, you seer
the fact is I'm tired OF their clever tax
and rest my mind for a while.-CIeve-
land Leader
she-Look, dear, .papa's check will pay
The Dulze-ZEqpt what are We going to do
afterward ?-Life-
You paid that man a great compliment
Yes" answered Farmer CorntosseI,
'san' the compliment sort of started a
habit. He has expected everything COM
plimentary ever since. ."-Washingto
Ls1natic Cooking over the VAIN of an
asylum at a Iaborer working)-This is a
Il Iabofer@It 5lsas sli is indeed
Lunatic--Are you married2
Laberer-Yes.
Lupatic--1ave you any family?
Laborer--I have eight.
I.unatic-9ow much a week have you?
Laborer--Only rs, and have to Sup
port my wife and family on that
Lunatic-WeIl, all can say Is that you
are on the wrong side of the WALL
Castelar, dreiand) Telegraph
Seasoned Passenger ION ocean steamer)
Why did you 60 to the table and try to
Haggard Passenger Qeaning dejectedly
over the raAl1-I have to pay for It, just
the same, don't I2-Chicago Tribune.
Grace-Mr. Bliggins tells me that he is
interested in settlement work. I thought
it quite noble of him.
Gladys-Well not SO noble as you might
think His particular branch of settlement
work IS bill Observation-Disclosures Bull
Yes" declared Mrs Enpeck, my hus-
band and myself a re fun Dartners-Wh
:, .Issgeeially presume Ilaurnnureq Mrs:
Louisville Courier-Journal.
He-And what became Of that little dog
you took about with you such a lot last
season.
shemoh, that sort Of a dog. vent out ee
of its misery.-London Tit-Bits.
Tommy said the teacher to a pupil
capital punishment is?
YES, ma am" answered Tommy. cts
when q fellow. is naughty and his mother
Re
lots Of cake and JAM Chicago News.
Talk is CHEAP"
s'It is evident you never had lawyer to
talk to you-"-Boston Traveller.
My dear said the decrepit millionaire
to his youthful bride, II am only too GLAD
to die when I think Of the pleasure you
viii derive from the fortune shall leave
III it makes you happy. GEAR she re-
now, If you wish. Brooklyn Life.
But, my dear lady, you must not allow
your grief to overcome you. Remember
your husband is far happier in the other
..P-PossibIy he is-b-btit think vou are
exceedingly r-rude to say so."-Brownine'
Magazine.
Mrs, QuiverfuIl-Tonmv, did you give
your little brother the best part Of that
apple, as told you tor
Tommy Q.-Yessun, gave hfga the
seeds. He can plant 'ern an have a whole
Leader.
The Parson-Wouldn't you like to have
your wife come to see you .occasiona1iy7
The Prisoner-Not on your life.
The Parson-Why2
The Prisoner-You evidently are not
saNare tIal an IN Tor wife muraer.-Co~
Mr.. Spoonamore-Wouldn YOU like to
90 to the bali game next Friday after-
noon2
Miss Pertie Goodwin-Thanks. no.
don't like the kind Of balls they say the
pitchers are using this season.-Chicago
Tribune.
DIT. Bryan says the Democratic party
must 90 PACK 20 tne people but the rea-