The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-01-15
SOME EXPLODED THEORIES.


 SOME EXPLODED THEORIES.
 We are all the time learning things At the same time we are unlearning what we had learned before. Also. we are continually finding out that what we had. learned was not so. That is confusing at times. and makes us wish we hadn't learned so much that we had no need of and that wouldn't stick.
 Take microbes. for example. The reason we write so frequently about them is because there's so many of them. If there were fewer of them and the doctors and scientific folks would let them be we would have less occasion to discuss them. but that's the trouble. We can hardly take up newspaper or magazine without run ming foul of a thesis on germs, their numbers. character and accomplish ments. We are assured that they are in everything we eats in our drinks. ry diseases of all kinds, infect all things. and are general nuisances and pests.
 But little while ago humanity was being warned of the danger of kissing Direful penalties were lying in wait for all who indulged in the innocent pastime of saluting each other with the lips. It was seriously argued that our labial organs, whether of hirsute man or charming maiden. were the fa- vorite resting place of all the deadly microbes in the medical 1exicons. The only plan which promised any hope of safety was to stop kissing or rigidly disinfect the lips.
 Did the doctors and scientists sup pose that their advice would be heed ed. especially by the young? If they did they were badly off the track An old friend of ours was reproved for swearing. and his reply was: Some times I get mad, and when I'm mad I'll cuss if it busts the plan of saliva tion! So with healthful young folks about osculation. They are bound to practice 1t. and they are not going to
 
 fectant about with them, either. That would spoil the fun.
 Now comes French scientist to knock all the anti-kissing nonsense into kindling. He assures us that kissing is not only good but benef- cial. He does not deny the microbes. but asserts that the kissing stunt causes an interchange of microbes that is actually good and healthful for both parties. He goes further and says kissing is a sure cure for dyspep- sia. All of us have dyspepsia, more or less; hence all of us should take the cure. It isn't patented. isn't put up in bottles. and the dose Is not limited. It may be better If well shaken before taken, but that is not essential. It may be taken in any form. at any time, and in doses to suit the patient. Now bring on your dyspepsia and we're ready for it. Let kissing be uncon- fined for the doctor pronounces it safe and all creation knows that 1t is good.
 And there's that other luscious lux ury. the oyster, who has also had the microbe theory applied to him. All newspaper readers know that there has been much discussion lately about the alleged fact that raN oysters are breeders and disseminators of typhoid fever germs. We have had plenty of what seemed wholly reliable evidence that oysters bred under certain condi- |
 tainly cause typhoid. Not being well acquainted with the anatomy of the succulent bivalve we have made no pretence of knowing where he carried his stock of germs nor how he pre- served them for use on his natural en- emy. Sufficient to know that he was supposed to be dangerous, and so those who loved the raw oysters consented to have them fried, roasted, stewed and otherwise warmed up sufficiently to put the germs out of business.
 But now comes another Frenchman and sends the whole theory a-kiting, He asserts that he has investigated the question thoroughly and that there's no truth in the charge. He has made a volumInous report and asserts that Oysters cannot in any case convey typhoid fever" If that is true is it l likely that they will convey any other l disease? Evidently not, so this deli cious addition to our food supply Is declared innocent and ordered to go hence without day and without taint of evil intent Those who want to eat him raw can indulge to their hearts content. undeterred by fear of typhoid or any other old disease. The scientist proneunces them harmless and he should know.
 And so we would say. eat raw oys- ters and take the latest dyspepsia cure. always in moderation, and in any oth- CT convenient place.
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 The Chicago Tribune predicts that the verb "to pennypacker" will be ip the dictionaries of the future. and the definition given will be, "an attempt to curtail the freedom of Ghe press.