davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Gilpin observer., 1905-10-05

SOME QUIET SMILES
HUMOROUS ITEMS, ORIGINAL AND
SELECTED.
Good Reason Advanced to Prove Truth
Of Old sayins-Mr. Leo's Hair Re-
storer-Cause Of Much Surprise to
Colonel Bluegrass.
The Terrible Wretch,
why, Mabel, dear, what is the mat
ter?" cried the fearful brides mother.
Tell me all about it. Don't keep
back a thing, darling. What has the
brute been doing?"
When l wanted him to lock the
windows last night he said there was
nothing but me for burglars to-to
c-c-carry away, and he wasn't at all
afraid. Boo-hoo-hoo!"
A Romance Of the Wind Belt.
you met your husband in Kansas,
/ believer"
well, you could hardly call it
meeting him. You see, a cyclone came
along and when l recovered conscious
ness ! was sitting on John back Of
what had once been a pumping sta
tion. Isn't 1t strange how fate brings
people together sometimes."-Chi-
cago Record Herald.
Had q Personal Reason.
"Is it possible" Queried the for
edener. chat women work in cigar
factories in this country"
Yes; in some Of them" answered
the native. why shouldn't they?
FOR this reason, among others" 4"
said the foreigner. sadly exhibiting a
rusty hairpin he had extracted from q
cigar Of the BEST in the Universe"
brand.
Merely an Empty Bottle.
Yes. sah," said Col. Bluegrass, "he
showed me decentah that once be-
longed to Washington, and he was
very proud Of It. Queer fellah that"
Queer? Why, isn't that something
to be proud Off"
But, nah deah sub, thar wasn't a
drop O. liquah in it, sah."-Catholic
Standard and Times.
Wanted to Be Correct.
A careful obituary writer, desiring
to be exact, says:
1T may have been 10 o'clock when
he crossed the river, but we were not
certain about 1t, as the clock had been
losing time. and the only watch in the
house was suffering from a broken
handspring. Atlanta Constitution.
Very vocifereus.
I'm surprised at your beating that
dog" exclaimed old Mr.. Cooley. You
should have some pity for dumb ami
mails
so l have" retorted jenkins; but
IL you had to listen to this fellow at
night. as do. you'd know he wasn't
dumb"
Worried About His Health.
Church-How's your friend rlat-
bush?
Gotham-Oh, the poor fellow is very
much worried about his health.
Why. Is he sick?"
Not yet, but the girl has Just left
him and his wife is going to try cook.
ing"
Must Do AZ the Others DO.
Howell-You don't seem very happy
over your promotion to be cashier OF
your bank.
Powell-Well. you see, l have al
ways been an honest man, but sup.
pose l must live up to the tradition.
Judge.
Beethoven Appreciated.
She Cat the concert)-Oh. just
dote on Beethoven.
He-Do you?
She-Yes. indeed. Beethoven's mu-
sic is so delicate. SO refined, SO soul.
full, 1t doesn't interfere with the con.
versation at all.-New York Weekly
Only for Her.
"Ah." said Mrs. Oldcastle, as the
hostess poured her a cup Of tea. my
Fidus Achates!''
Yes. knew it was. l always keep
q little Of 1t In the house specially for
you. although Josiah wants his strong
enough TO burn a hole in a blanket"
So They Say.
Gilpin observer., 1905-10-05

Each stumbling block is stepping
stone.-Dr. William Mathews.
Gilpin observer., 1905-10-05

Time may be money, but lots Of fel-
lows will spend more time trying to
pass Canadian dime than it would
take them to earn five dollars.
Gilpin observer., 1905-10-05

To marry cooking school girl It Il
not only necessary 10 love her with
your whole heart, but with your livel
as well.
Gilpin observer., 1905-10-05

II necessity is the mother OF in
vention where does the Patent OfRce
come in?
Gilpin observer., 1905-10-05

The judgment is more likely to ask
How many shoes did you wear out
In works of love?" than How many
prayers did you ?-Henry F.
Cope, in Chicago Tribune.
Gilpin observer., 1905-10-05

The intoxication OF love is generally
followed by sober second thought.
Gilpin observer., 1905-10-05

The greatest work has always gone
hand in hand with the most fervent
moral purpose.-Sidney Lanier.
Gilpin observer., 1905-10-05

Size doesn't always count. A tiny
flea can bring the biggest dog te
scratch.
Gilpin observer., 1905-10-05

Imagination goes a long ways. but IL
never yet made last years hat look
new TO a woman.
Gilpin observer., 1905-10-05

Don't cry over split milk Call the
cat.
Gilpin observer., 1905-10-05

Many a man mistakes his stinginess
for wisdom.
Gilpin observer., 1905-10-05

Loose characters like to turn their
money loose. =
Gilpin observer., 1905-10-05

True love can no more be NmiR
ished by showers of evil-hap tha
flowers are marred by timely rains.<
Marlowe.
Gilpin observer., 1905-10-05

There are also number of fugitives
from injustice.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29
CHURCH AND CLERGY.

Bishop William Ford Nichols recent
ly celebrated the fifteenth anniversary
of his elevation to the bishopric of the
Episcopal diocese of California.
Or. Griffith John. the famous mission
AIRY to China Of the London Missionary
society, who has spent forty years III
Hankow, is celebrating this year bis
jubilee as a preacher to the Chinese.
He is seventy-four years old and ia
sound health.
Rev. DR.. J. Cullen Aver IT., has re-
signed as rector of the Church of Our
Redeemer, Lexington, Mass, and has
accepted the position Of professor Of
ecclesiastical history in the divinity
SCHOOL of the Protestant Episcopal
Church OF Philadelphia.
Dr. Henry III Rasmus of the First
M. p. church, Catford, England. OBJ
jects to the practice Of lowering the
lights when the sermon is preached
He says be wants view Of the coun-
tenances Of his congregation so that
be may see when they have had
enough"
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29


Nearly hundred small children from
the stufy tenement districts of New
York are being entertained for two
weeks 81 more in Rutland families, get
ting the opportunity to breathe pure
Vermont air and gambol in the sunlight.
In addition, they were given an excur.
sion to nearby summer resort, through
the Kindness Of Rutland people, The
Herald Of that City having volunteered
to pass the hat for the necessary sub
scriptions. A liberal response followed
the passing Of the hat, and not only
was there enough money to take them
to the excursion but enough too to in
sure proper care for the youngsters on
their return to New York That the
children are enjoying their stay in Yer
mont i certain, and that Rutland Is
enjoying the opportunity Of entertain
ing them may be learned from The
Herald's statement that @the children's
excursion to Lake Bomoseen was en-
joyed as much BY the community that
sent them as BY the children them
selves.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29
OBSERVATIONS.

The social millennium will not have
arrived until every man is richer than
his neighbors.
When you have made up your mind
TO find fault with somebody nothing Is
more irritating than to find bis conduct
thereafter unobjectionable.
When q man remarks that honesty Is
the best policy he Is not usually tank
ing about himself. His theory about
himself is that rigid adherence to the
virtues Is responsible for his misfor
tune.
seven heavens are really too many.
but there should be at least three the
highest for those who were right. yet
failed; the second for those who were
right and succeeded, and the third for
the wrong who were unsuccessful.
National Magazine.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29
COLLEGE AND SCHOOL.

Abraham ~. Harris, president Of the
Jacob Tome institute Of Port Deposit,
Ind, has accepted the presidency Of
the Northwestern university.
Mayor Dunno Of Chicago has appoint
go three women. Miss Jane Adams,
Mrs Emmons Blaine and DR.. Cornelia
DE Bey, to the Chicago school board.
Some Of the lectures on medical sub.
Jects at the University OF Vienna this
summer are to be delivered ii English
II sufficient audience preferring that
language present themselves.
In consequence Of almost daily dis
turbanees II the University OF SOFIA.
Bulgaria, the governing body decided
g close it Tor the rest Of the educa.
tional year, and $50 students have been
suspended for one year.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29

That Marshfeld is gaining by the ex-
perience Of the recent disastrous fire is
apparent in the announcement that sew
eral citizens are interesting themselves
and others in project to lay out the
village into fire district and to provide
the district with some suitable fire fight
ing apparatus. Another horse may be
stolen ere the barn is locked; there
should not be delay. Let the obstruc-
tionists if there be any, see the neces
sits.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29
A noIled r9r.

An egg that has been boiled soft ana
becomes cold cannot be cooked again
and made hard. but a soft boiled egg
that has not had the shell broken may
be relocated by cooking three minutes
in boiling water aud it will taste as
well as if freshly boiled.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29
JINGLES AND JESTS.
His Last Nyssh.

rhe father Of family lay dying in his
bed;
His children gathered round him. and his
dear wife bowed her head,
And his servants came and listened for
the words that he might say
Before his soul should take its flight and
leave his mortal clay.
And he whispered. II am going, and III
see you here no more.
But--I'll try--and stay-here with you-till
you find out what's the score"
Houston Post
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29

vermont's treasury i being lined by
the autoists TO considerable extent,
the sum Of $4,000 having been paid in
registration fees thus far this year.
Even the most hostile antagonists Of
the machines win admit that the evil
Is not without some gain.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29

The Bennington Banner pays Barre
the compliment Of ~The happy go lucky
days in Barre appear to have gone for
ever There are still some happy days
and a few lucky ones, but the combina-
ton we trust is broken.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29

The Vermont press is now taking up
a discussion Of the sequel to Why Do
Girls Leave Homer" It is why Do
Girls shun Housework u The question
box Is open.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29

johann Hoch and Mary Rogers may
felicitate each other The latter's ex-
perience in stepping from the shadow
OF the gallows has been repeated by the
Chicago murderer.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29
Useless Advice.

Take my advice, young man, and
keep away from Wall street.
I'm obliged to- answered Mr Can.
by Dunno. Since my last venture in
stocks haven't car fare to get there"
Washington Star.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29
Entire Stock of Art Goods!
Constitutes Our Saturday Sale.

Art Goods active in this a stock must be
to keep place here Things hustle have for
them Consequently the half price tag goes every piece Of
Art Goods IN our stock but Pillow Tops and they receive lib
eral cut in price.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29

As the dogs are having their days
now, the story from Manchester Of the
suicide Of canine may read decently
well.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29

There was once an illiterate tug
Whose fate It was always 10 hug.
Said the tug, 1T is true
I'm not lovely 10 view.
But at least don't have 70 be
drug.
Itla,,a
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29

The genealogy Of the jackson family
may yet be one Of the most read vol
umes Of the year, although we scarcely
expect that it win go to the second
edition.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29

--cattle--cussed--
Wind and rain--hills that strain
Sand and mire-punctured tire
Stopped by train--jugged againi
Town Topics.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29
Change of Diet.

She said. Give us our daily bread
Then heaved a little sigh
And said. Tomorrow night mamma,
I'm going to pray for pie
Houston Post.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29

The housewife views with falling nerve
Preserving times proximity
She fears she can't at once preserve
Her fruits and equanimity
New York Herald.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29
Brass Band and Orchestra

Ladies purchasing tickets before i.
m. Monday will receive thirty-cent
reserved seat for fifteen cents. GOOD
MONDAY NIGHT ONLY.
Seats on sale Saturday afternoon at
browns Drug Store.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29
snmawhat inherent

Gray Your wife used to be rather
pensiye before your marriage. Is she
still so7
Smith-Oh, no; she's expensive. De
troit Tribune.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29

Digby--I lost my mind when / was
sick.
Higby-w When do you expect 1t backi
Judge.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29
VAUDEVILLE BETWEEN ACTS

Absolutely New Moving Pictures and
Latest Illustrated Songs. Special, Fri
day night, BRITT NELSON FIGHT.
taken az the ring side at San Francisco.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29
25--PEOPLE--25
Prices, 10c, Zoe and 30c
THE PLAYS INCLUDE

@The Little Duchess" Hearts Of the
South "Fanchon, the Cricket "His
Little Lordship,n aShores Of Danger
field" "The Pawnbroker's Child" @The
Showman's Daughter
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29
Couldn't Help It.

Mr. stammer-I al-al-always s-s-stiek
TO my word.
Mrs HammerI see you do.-New
York Evening Telegram.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29

copies, the largest paid circulation Of
aRy daily paper in this section.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1905-07-29

6lilitHOH
trolt Tribune.
The newspaper., 1905-10-06
Order to Show Cause on Petition for Sale
OF Real Estate.
STATE OF COLORADO,
County OF Uelta,

STATE OF COLORADO, I %
County of Uelta,
IN THE COUNTY COURT IN PROBATE.
In the matter of the es-l order to show. caus.9
deceased. OF real estate.
This matter coming on to be heard on this 5th
day OF September 4. d. 1905 upon the petition
fled herein by Matilda NJ Edwards admins
tratrix OF said estate, for the sale of the follow
ing described real estate, or portion thereof,
to-wit:
r. 81 w. l6Di feet east OF :. W. corner OF said
section. run II - W S55 feet to place of begin
ming. at an angle corner of land belonging to r.
NJ. Anderson and being also on the easterly
boundary of A. :. STATIONS land;-commncing
at this point and running y Ii IS ". along
STATIONS easterly boundary and the same pro
duced l0t7 feet more or less to point on south
bank OF Farmer ditch; thence following said
ditch bank, approximately y. 50 80 Z. 25s feet
thence y. Is +. lSl feet more or less to line
lying parellel to and S6o.5 feet perpendicularly
distant easterly from aforesaid strattons east
erly boundary thence :. IL IS E. along said
parallel line 1920 feet more or less 20 north line
Of L. NJ Anderson land: thence west parallel
10 section line along Anderson's boundary 379
feet more or less to place of beginning, contain
ing 10 acres more or less. For the purpose of
the estate and to the best interest of the heirs
And it now appearing TO the Court from said
the sale OF all or a portion Of said real estate
NOW THEREFORE,, ii is ordered by the Court
Mat Mai Matilda tiIaa,o M i IdwaFds Il Melinda CLARK
NJ. Edwards, Pearl Maude Edwards, Harry D.
Edwards, Thomas g. Edwards, Margaret Ed
wards, Nellie B. Edwards, Franklin c. Edwards
Lutte Edwards and George Stephan guardian
ad ltem for Nellie b. Edwards and Franklin
c. Edwards minors, said minors and all
persons who heirs of said decedent
be and appear before said Court at the Court
room OF said Court. in the town OF Delta County
and state of aforesaid, on the 10th day of Oct
ober, \. ID. 1905, at the hour of l;SO o clock in
the after noon Of said day, then and there to
show cause, if any there be, why an order
should not be made directing the said Matilda
NJ. Edwards 10 S-u the whole OF 50 much OF said
real estate as may be necessary for the purposes
specified in said petition
IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that this order be
published for At least four Successive weeks in
the Faoula Newspaper, u weekly Public news
paper published in said County
IT Is FURTHER ORDERED that George
stephan OF said County of Delta, he and he is
hereby appointed guardian ad litem for Nell
lie b. Edwards and Fraukhn Clarence Edwards.
minors, to represent said minors, at said hear
ing
BY the Court
FRED \. DICKERSON, Judge
First publication sept Is
Last publication Oct. t.
The newspaper., 1905-10-06

giver was awakened by stentor-
ian voice calling, "Rochester!'
"Rochester!" he exclaimed, sit
ting up. where's that porter?"
Hastily slipping on his trousers,
he went in search of the negro,
and found him in the porter's S
closet huddled up with his head
in bandage, his clothes torn and
his arm in a sling. We'll" said
the drummer, you are a sight;
why didn't you put me off at
Syracuse?"
"What-at!" gasped the porter,
as his eyes bulged from his head.
WAS you de gemman dat glib me
FIVE dollar gol piece?"
"Of course | was, you idiot"
well. den, befo' de Lawd, who
was dat gemman l put off at
Syracuse? ?"-The Ladies Home
Journal.
The newspaper., 1905-10-06
The Wrong Man.

Now see here" said he briskly,
"I want you to put me off at
Syracuse. You know we get in
there at about six o'clock in the
morning, and | may oversleep
myself. But it is important that
/ should get out. Here's five
dollar gold piece. Now l may
wake up hard, Don't mind if |
kick. Pay no attention if | am
ugly. | want you to put me Oft
the train no matter how hard |
fight. Understand"
"Yes, sab" answered the sturdy
Nubian. ut shall be did, sab.
The next morning the coin
The newspaper., 1905-10-06
Order tn Show Cause on Petition for Sale
OF Real Estate.
STATE OF COLORADO, lee
GnnntN of Ielta
N TUF COTVTY %


IN THE COUNTY COURT IN PROBATE.
In the, matter OF :the) order to show ca use
ceased. of real estate
This matter coming on to be heard on this
25th day of September A d. 1905 upon the petit
tion filed herein by Sidwell Kay administra-
trlx OF SAID estate Tor the sale OF the following
described real estate, or portion thereof, to-wit
Commencing at the Northwest corner of the
northeast quarter of the northeast quarter met,
Of Range %G @ Res OF fhe
sixth Principal Meridian in Colorado, running
south on West line of said Northeast Quarter OF
Northeast Quarter lnel4 OF neiil distance of
s73 feet more or less, to Farmers ditch: thence
Northessterly along North. rly bank to inter
West along said North line s7Ufeet, more or less,
TO place of beginning, containing ten IlOl acres,
Also beginning at Northeast corner of Lot Two
e6oR Of Rs0p oRe IN M WaT f M tb
sixth principal Meridian: thence along Town
ship line North So W $50 ft to corner No. /:
thence 5. 426 #. to corner No. 2; thence 5. Is
80 Z. 800 #. to corner No. 3; thence :, IL 50 f.
$50 # to corner No. A thence due f. to E. line of
along f. line of said Lot between Lots and .,
y. / is Z. TO beginning, containing 6 acres,
Mountain Canal Company, for the purpose of
paying of encumbrsnces against the above de
scribed land and paying off claims against said
estate and the expenses of administration:
And II now appearing to the Court from said
petition that proper and legal grounds exist for
the sale of all or portion of said real estate.
NOW THEREFORE, it is ordered by the Court
that Lille swanson. William :: Kay and Walter
Kay Bennett and all persons who are legatees
devises of said estate, any part thereof,
heirs of said decedent and all persons who
would inherit in case of the death of said mental
minor be and appear before said Court at the
Court room of said Court, in the Town of Delta,
County and State aforesaid, the 30th day
of October, A. D. 1905, at the hour of O'Clock
in the afternoon of said day, then and there to
show cause, If any there be, why an order should
not be made directing the said Sidwell Kay, ad-
ministratrix to sell at private sale the whole or
so much of said real estate may be necessary
for the purposes specified in said petition.
IT Is FURTHER ORDERED that this order be
published for at least four successive weeks in
the Paonia Newspaper, weekly public news
paper published in said County.
TT Is FURTHER ORDERED that NJ r. Welch
of said County of Delta be and is hereby ap-
pointed as guardian ad litem for said Walter
Kay Bennet, minor 20 represent said minor at
said hearing
BY the Court.
FRED y. DIcKERsoN, County Judge.
First publication sept -.
second publication oct %
The newspaper., 1905-10-06
Notice.

To all whom it may concern:
We the undersigned having this
day dissolved the co-partnership
known as HIcE & MARBLE, hereby
notify all persons indebted to the
firm to settle at once. and all per
sons having bills against said firm
present same without delay.
Dated at Paonia, Colo, this
30th day of Sept, 1905.
CHARLES Il. HIcE.
st. M. M. MARBLE.
The newspaper., 1905-10-06
Ladies Attention.

The territory comprized in
Delta and Montrose counties,
heretofore canvassed by H. b.
Mohler, is now controlled by Lee
Horning, who viii take orders for
the famous Pure Aluminium Cook
ing Utensils introduced by him.
Goods are the best thing of the
kind ever got out and are guar
anteed not to rust, burn out or
corrode in any way. If you are
interested drop ME a card and |
will call on you with samples, and
take your orders. Address.
LEE HoRNING,
Paonia, Colo.
The newspaper., 1905-10-06
School Notes.

Amy Layton of Room 2, who
has been out with typhoid fever,
is reported to be improving.
A first year German class is be-
ing organized this week. All
who wish to take the work should
report at once.
Verne Rawalt has undertaken
to put the electric bells in better
working order, a service which
will be greatly appreciated by the
teachers.
Mr.. Charles E. Lewis conducted
the general exercises in the High
School this week in very pleas
ing manner. The point of his
talk being. BE good, and be
good for something" His illustra
tions were apt and the pupils
were very much pleased with the
talk.
The new seats have arrived and
are being installed as rapidly as
possible. Our equipment is ra-
pidly approaching that stage
where it will be "a thing of beauty
and joy forever. A new furnace
and laboratory for the teaching
of physics are the improvements
scheduled for October.
The county tea chers' association
will be held here the q and % of
this month. DR.. Sanford Bell OF
the State University will be on
the program for at least one talk.
We hope the people of Paonia
will give the teachers OF the
county such a hearty welcome
that they will want to come to
the town often.
The question of more library
funds is becoming acute again.
There were quite number OF
our citizens who expressed de-
sire last year to help in this good
cause but failed to contribute.
Mrs. Mildred Anderson is
treasurer of the library fund and
will gladly receive any contribu-
tions offered to it. Our library is
a good one for a yearling, but it
must grow and keep up with the
the time or it will soon be relic.
All the mothers of the district
are cordially invited to spend the
afternoon of Friday. Oct. l3, at
school. The first part of the
afternoon will be spent in visiting
the various rooms and observing
the work as it is regularly con-
Quoted. The latter part of the
day IN social intercourse and
discussion OF various phases of
the work. The report cards, (the
medium of communication be-
tween teachers and parents will
be issued next Monday for the
first month and mothers will per
haps have some questions regard
| ing them.
The newspaper., 1905-10-06

FOR SALE:-Ten acres choice
fruit land near Elberta. under
fence, together with ten inches of
perpetual water for $1,000 on easy
terms, Now is the time 10 take
advantage OF low prices as pr ces
will dca. /. with he aext ,op.
|. ID. McFADDEN.
The newspaper., 1905-10-06

Nervous Old Lady Con seventh
floor of hotel-"Do you know
what precautions the proprietor
of the hotel has taken against
fire?" Porter-"Yes, 'um. he
has the place inshoored for twice
wot it's worth"