Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-08-31

boat got by the Russian boat the crew
was called to prayers. to thank the
Lord. or whoever II is that the Rus
SLAMS thank, because they had escaped
dire peril. I guess the Russians are
all In, and that those who have not
gone to the front are shaking hands
with themselves. and waiting for the
dove Of peace to alight on their guns.
The Suez canal probably pays, and
no wonder. cause they charge what
they please to boats that go through,
and II they don't pay. all they have
to do is to stay out, and go around a
few thousand miles. II is like q
ferry across q little stream out west,
where there Is no other way to cross,
except to wade or go around, and the
old ferryman sizes up the wagon load
that wants to cross, and takes all they
have gotloose, and then the travellers are
ahead Of the game, cause II they
didn't cross the stream they would
have to camp on the bank until the
stream dried up. Some day an earth
quake will split that desert wide open.
and the water in the Suez canal will
soak into the sand and the steam
boats will lay in the mud, and be COW
cred with a sandstone, and future
ages will be discovering full-rigged
ships down deep on the desert. Dad says
we better sell our stock in the canal
and buy airship stock. And talk about
business, there is more tonnage goes
through the 500 canal. between Mich
igan and Canada, than goes through
the Suez, and we don't howl about 1t
very much.
Well, sir, have studied Gibraltar
in my geography, and read about 1t
in the papers, and seen its pictures In
advertisements, but never realized
what a big thing 1t was. Now, who
ever thought of putting that enormous
rock right there on that prairie, but
God. I suppose the English, when they
saw that rock, thought the good Lord
had put 1t there for the English to
drill holes in, for guns, and when the
Lord was busy somewhere else the
English smouged the rock away from
Spain, by playing a game with loaded
dice, and when England got 1t, that
country decided to arm it like a train
robber, and hold up the other nations
of the earth.
When a vessel passes that rock It
has to hold up its hands and salute
the British flag, or get mess Of hard
ware fired into Its vital parts but that
is all it amounts to, cause it couldn't
win any battle for England, and could
only sink trading vessels. The walls
of the rock are perforated from top
to bottom, with holes big enough for
guns to squirt smoke and shells, but
If the enemy should stay away from
right in front of the holes, they might
shoot till doomsday, and never hit
but fishing smacks and ped
dlers of oranges.
Gibraltar Is like q white elephant in
a geological garden. 1t just eats, and
keeps on flies with its short tail, and
visitors feed it peanuts, and wonder
what 1t was made for, and how much |
hay It eats. Gibraltar is like o $40
gold piece that a man carries IN hfs
watch pocket for an emergency, which |
he never intends to spend until he gets
In the tightest place In his life, and
Il wears out one pocket after another,
end some day drops through on the
and . tramp finds 1t and
goes ON q bat and gets the worth Of
his money, and has good time, If he
saves enough to buy a bromo-seltzer
he next morning after. 1t 10 like the
Russian war chest, that is never to
be opened az long rs they csA borrow
money.
n Gibraltar could be put on castors'
md rolled around from one country
% another, England could whip all Eu-
'ope and Asia. It would be a Trojan,l
horse on larger scale, and be'a ter
or, but, say, III it got to America,
We wouldn't do a tlring to it. We
would run standpipe up the side, and
connect it with an oil pipe line, I'LL
tunnels and avenues, and
magazines and barracks with crude OIL
rnd touch a match to It, and not an
Englishmar woulf Hive TO tell about 1t.
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