davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-30

Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound
made me well woman, and feel so CRATE
full that l am glad to write and tell you OF
my marvellous recovery. It brought me
health, new life and vitality"
What Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound did for Mrs. Ainsley it will
do for every woman who is in poor
health and ailing.
It's benefits begin when it's use begins
It gives strength and vigor from the
start, and surely makes sick women
we'll and robust.
Remember Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound holds the record for
the greatest number of actual cures of
womans ills. This fact is attested to
by the thousands of letters from CRATE
full women which are on file in the
Pinkham laboratory. Merit alone can
produce such results.
Women should remember that cure
for all female diseases actually exists.
and that cure is Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound. Take no substi-
tute.
If you have symptoms you don't
understand write to Mrs. Pinkham,
Lynn, Mass. for special advice-it is
free and always helpful.
)Cund Succeeds Where Others Fal.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-30
NO ONE TO RUN 1T,
Simple Explanation for stoppirg OF
Alarm Clock,

Simple Explanation for Stopping Of
Alarm Clock.
An lrlshman who had been unoccu-
pied for some time induced his friend
Patrick to try to secure him position
with contractor. One evening about
a week later Pat went around to
Mixes boarding house with the news
that the contractor had granted Mike
trial.
But" said Pitt, che is avery para
ticker, and ye moost be sure to be at
the oofice by shar-r-p Oi'll git ye an
alarm clock and then ye'n be sure to
git up on toime.''
SO Pat bought the alarm clocA,
wound it up and set it at $50. It went
Off satisfactorily. Mike went down
and worked all day. When he went
nome at night he wound the clock, but
did not bother with the alarm, think.
ing that it would go off automatically
The next morning he slept until
O'Clock, and when he went to the office
the boss gave him his pay and told
him to leave. Mike went home mad,
swore at the alarm clock and finally
took the back off. A lot of springs,
wires and wheels fell out, and last OF
all, dead cockroach tumbled over on
to the table. Mike looked at the roach
in surprise, and then burst out:
BE dad! No wonder the thing
wouldn't go off. The injineer is dead.''
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-30
Sure Cure at Last.

Monticello, Miss, Sept. 4. Especially
Lawrence county is almost daily In
receipt of fresh evidence that a sure
cure for all Kidney Troubles has at
last been found, and that the cure is
Dodd's Kidney Pills.
Among those who have reason to
bless the Great American Kidney Rem
edy is Mrs. L. E. Baggett of this place.
Mrs. Baggett had drOpsy. D0dd's Kid.
ney Pills cured her.
81 was troubled with my kidneys,'
Mrs. Baggett says in recommending
Dodd's Kidney Pills to her friends,
my urine would hardly pass. The
Doctors said I had 'Dropsy. I have
taken Dodd's Kidney Pills as directed
and am now a well woman"
Dodd's Kidney Pills cure the kid
neys. Cured Kidneys strain all the
impurities out of the blood. That
means pure blood and a sound, ener:
getic body. Dodd's Kidney Pills are
the greatest tonic the world has ever
known.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-30

"Sunshine broken in the rill."
to the scene of her former triumphs" :"
The wretch who had lured her into
the glamor of the footlights had al
ready found means to make her
beauty and her grace source Of
profit.
Mammal! mammal" murmured the
fever-stricken child. me wants my
mammal"
the woman's ears, in which were ring
ing the plaudits of a brainless, heart
less thrOng, as she posed and pirouet-
ted in a state of semi-nudity. No
longer a sun, she had degenerated
into a star.
The little one died. The last CLEAN
of sunlight sank beyond the horizon
of Johns life, as his baby girl was
lowered into the grave. But secretly,
that same night, he went to vaude-
vile theater, gay and garish place
where the sensational Serpentine
Dancer" was to 1Alake her New York
debut.
He saw huge bouquets of costly
flowers passed across the footlights
to Little Sunshine" He had been
too poor to purchase more than one
solitary sunflower to place upon the
casket of their child.
He never even let the mother know
of his loss. Why should he? She
looked so bright and happy, even as
she had before he had dared to hide
her brilliancy for time in the OBJ
security OF his dismal home
Again she has returned to the
scene of her former triumphs." Per-
haps the greatest of her triumphs is
that she never sees, and no one knows
the identity of that broken-down man.
that wreck of humanity, who each
night occupies a back seat in the gal
lery. No one hears him as he mur-
murs:
Sunshine broken in the rill,
Though turned aside, is sunshine
STILL
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-30
Bride Was a Little Mixed.

Rev. Samuel Wilson, the pastor of
Eutaw Street Methodist Episcopal
church, has ofticiated at more than
800 marriages in the thirty years
since he was ordained to the minis
try.
II always prefer what we call the
repeating service" he said the other
day. "But had an experience at one
time that made me decide it was not
always wise to urge people to use that
form of service. I was in the midst
of the ceremony and we had gotten
as far as I, Mary, take theee, John,
for richer, for poorer, for better, for
worse Mary, repeated the words,
but imagine how startled I was when
l heard her pledge herself to take
'John,' from richer to poor, from bet
ter to worse. ."-Baltimore Sun.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-30
THE: u. 4 ]. 10 y c'kEY AND THE KING, !.
Royalty Not Always. Accorded First
4 Et.IEt u De - i,,sallifA g! y. ;s.a.

royalty Not Always iys Accorded M + I: FIRST
s gas 5 y .,s:f .ts1 Place in Life.
$f King Leopold of Belgium told good
story on himself and Tod Sloan some
time ago which has just found it's way
into the French newspapers. !
+: Il was dining in Paris restaurant"
said the most democratic OF kings,
and on looking around saw 4 d
Sloan, the American jockey, whom
had seen often riding at Longchamps,
dining in solitary splendor at the next
table. While waiting for my dinner
to be brought l watched the little
American and saw him, after tasting
some fried potatoes that had been
brought him., summon the waiter an
grily and bid him take the dish away.
Now, I had ordered fried potatoes
also, and had no difficulty in discov-
erlng, when mine arrived with sus-
p1clous promptness, that the very
same dish Tod Sloan had disdained
mad been brought to me.
i suppose" said a listener, "Your
majesty summoned the restaurant
man and had the waiter discharged?"
"Oh, no." replied the king, smiling,
i tasted the potatoes, and I discover
ed that Mr.. Sloan was quite right.
Ihey had been cooked with rancid
butter, and were very bad. But
knew that if I sent them away it
would seriously injure the business of
the place, so went on eating them.
You see, therefore, that nowadays a
jockey can afford to be more particu-
lar than a king
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-30

turned from his work one night to
find it night indeed.
little Sunshine" was gone, but the
lesser orb was left Cruelty deserted,
husband and child together sobbed
through the first dark night. Dawn
came and brought no Sunshine. New
er after that came sunshine to their
hearts. \.
1t was always night. Night to the
child who lived her little life, untend-
ed and uncared for, in the gloomy
home. Night to the man who saw
that baby life fast fading away, while
he must work even harder than before
to provide such luxuries as might pro-
long that life, which really needed the
lost luxury of mothers love.
Heavens! Give me sunshine! Little
Sunshine, come back to mel" he often
cried aloud. "Come back, if only to
keep the last little ray of happiness
from fading from my life
But Little Sunshine never "ret,1rn ed
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-30
GUST THE DEMON.
A TussIe with Coffee,

A TussIe with Coffee.
There is something fairly demoni-
acal in the way coffee sometimes
wreaks it's fiendish malice on those
who use it.
A lady writing from Calf. says
my husband and I, both lovers Of
coffee, suffered for some time from a
very annoying form of nervousness,
accompanied by most frls~~4ul head
aches. In my own case .-.ere was
eventually developed some sort OF sf-
fectiOn of the nerves leading from the
spine to the head.
II was unable to hold my head up
straight, the tension of the nerves
drew it to one side, causing me the
most intense pain. We got no relief
from medicine. and were puzzled as
to what caused the trouble, until a
friend suggested that possibly the cof-
fee we drank had something to do
with it and advised that we quit it
and try Postum Coffee.
1--WE followed this advice, and from
the day that we began to use Postum
we both began to improve, and in
a very short time both of us were
entirely relieved. The nerves became
steady once more. the headaches
ceased, the muscles in the back of my
neck relaxed, my head Strengthened
up and the dreadful pain that had 50
punished me while used the old kind
of coffee vanished.
1--WE have never resumed the use of
the old coffee, but relish our Postum
every day as we'll as we did the
former beverage. And we are de.
lighted to find that we can give ii
freely to our children also, somethmg
we never dared to do with the old
kind of coffee" Name given by Pos.
tum Co., Battle Creek, Mich.
Postum Coffee contains absolutely
NO drugs OF any kind, but relieves the
coffee drinker from the old drug
poison. -J.< r. -.
y There's reason. >%,.-{ t~>'...
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-30
Soma Of the Baldheaded Man.

Great Caesars classic head was bare,
And likewise Socrates;
Peter and Paul were forced to wear
Thin capillary t1eeces;
Shakespeare, earth's literary king,
And Johnson, Pope and Gibbon,
Being short Of hirsute covering
Wore wigs tied deft with ribbon.
But Achan J. Iscariot,
AnaniaS (Of truth chary),
Herod. the Pharisees l wot,
All srorted caputs hairy:
Later came Danton, Robespierre,
And Marat, bloody trio;
Guy Fawkes and Jeffries, Glencoe Stair,
ck-thatched like fiddling Nero.
Nor will the eye, in sooth, oft see
Bald Hottentot or Arab.
Kamchatkan, abOriginee,
kurd or man eating Carib;
Nay, nay, but Of the human breed
The greater in earths story,
Are those who lead in thought and deed
Crowned not with hair, but glory!
Monroe Guy Carleton.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-30
PREVENT WASTE or. DISHES.
Ono Man on Liner Keeps Tab on the
Saloon Stewards. III. -

One Man on Liner Keeps Tab on the
Saloon Stewards. ~, ~
A>man who returned recently from
Europe said the other day.
''There is a man employed on every
transatlantic liner whose duties but
one in q thousand travellers. knows
about.
II tried to find out on the trip out,
but only succeeded in satisfying my
curiosity on the last day of the home
ward trip.
"He never does any work, and yet
he is always to be seen quietly walk
ing about the dining saloon. Travel
ers note that he never loses sight of
the saloon stewards, and the funny
part of it all is that all he has to do
on every trip is to see that these same
stewards do not throw the dirty dishes
overheard, to save washing them,
when no one is looking" York
Sun.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-30
An Amusing Error.

Many amusing blunders are made
by people in trying to use words with
which they are not familiar. Some
years ago at sanitarium in New
York State one of the physicians was
questioning patient regarding her
health.
= "How are you feeling to-day?" ask
ed the physician.
mot as well as usual" replied the
woman, ''for was in catamount con.
dition last night for an hour"
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-30

This announcement, in gigantic let
ters, is seen on all the boardings and
bill-posting stations. 1t is read with
interest by men about town who are
familiar with the career of the dla-
mond-decked beauty, whose noto-
ciety has been far more profitable
than any little talents she is supposed
to possess. 1t is read by hosts OF en-
yious young "artistes" whose ambitions
are centered on becoming star IN
the vaudeville world, no matter what
the cost And it is read early each
morning by one man-infirm, ragged
decrepit old John Maudsley-as me-
chanically he creeps along toward his
place of business, idiotically mutter-
ing the words of Thomas Moore:
Sunshine, broken in the rill,
Though turned aside, is sunshine
still.'''
Very little sunshine had ever come
into John Maudsley's life. The office
in which he had worked since boy
rood, from early morning until late at
night, appeared to have been buried
il a block of big buildings for the
express purpose of shutting out any
stray rays of sunshine which might
otherwise have striven to penetrate
the everlastingly unwashed windows
The head of the publishing firm which
he had served long and faithfully
seemed to have acquired the habit OF
sitting anything in the least resem-
bling sunshine, probably as the result
of their systematically smothering the
hopes and ambitions of budding au-
thors.
The home which, with much hus-
banding of his scanty income, John
Maudsley had built up, sometimes
stole stray ray or two which fell
foul of the smokestacks of the big
tenement house and tumbled down
the airshaft, but even these were dead
when John returned from his work.
So it had happened that the sun shone
only once a week for John. That was
on Sundays.
1t was during one of the brightest
first met little living sunbeam. A
girl who seemed to make the sun
shine brighter; to absorb the rays of
the great lifegiver; and to shed them
again on the innermost recesses of
the poor fellows heart. Then it was
that he began to dream wild dreams
of how his little home might be
frightened with perpetual sunshine,
always on tap, SO to speak, when he
ought to have known that it is dan
gerous experiment to bottle up sun
shine, of the feminine gender, in such
obscurity.
He it was who first called her **Lit-
tie Sunshine and when he had won
her consent to illuminate his home, it
seemed to him that henceforth every
day must be a summer Sunday.
There was great gaiety in the here
tofore dismal little fiat both when
John was at nome and when he was
away at his work, for the golden glory
of that little head must have SUBJ
jects to shine upon.
Then came to John what was the
mystery of mysteries. 1t was no
eclipse. It was simply that while the
mans whole soul still circled around
that first sweet sun, another lesser
orb of love was born and shed new
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-30
CAUGHT in the Act.

Rushing into the smoking car, an
old man cried excitedly: >. ,
"A corkscrew! Who's got. a cork.
screw" -
!, A score of kindly hands sought poo
kets and a score of kindly voices said:
*tHere you are, sir" ~ ~.
# thought So" shouted the old man.
"ArG now lay before you, gentle.
men, fifty temperance pledges. ,Wha
will sign the first p '..s5e:s B. 5. 55
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-30
His Example,

Robert" said a teacher in one of
the public schools to her brightest
pupil, "give me an example of the use
of the word damper in sentence"
Robert thought a moment and then
delivered himself as follows:
Teacher is damper-ticular about
our English"
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-30
A LeuaI Retort.

"The learned counsel for the de-
fense," said the plaintiffs attorney,
"'Appears to be afraid of losing his
case Otherwise why isn't he ready
to 60 on?"
"I've got a. good excuse" replied
counsel for the defense.
Nonsense! ignorance of the law
excuses no oe."-Philadelphi Press.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-30
WORKING Extra Time,

Mrs. Gabfest-I want it understood,
sir, that I am woman of very few
words.
Mr. Gabfest-Yes, know, my dear,
but don't you think you are overwork-
ing them ?-Milwaukee Sentinel.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-30
FaStjdious.

"And why didn't Miss De Snipp go
into the water with the other bathers
at the beach?"
"She said she couldn't bear to think
of coming into contact with water
that had been used by so many ordi-
nary people. e."-Cleveland Plain Deal
er.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-30
THE IDEAL WIFE
Shapes the Destiny of Men-The Influence of q
III Healthy Woman Cannot Be Overestmated.

60Veu-clSuCAS VI C1Ao
men in this world marry
q woman because she is
beautiful in their eyes
because she has the quail
ties which inspire admira-
ton, respect and love.
There is a beauty in
health which is more at
tractive to men than mere
regularity of feature.
The influence OF women
glorious in the possession
of perfect physical health
upon men and upon the
civilization of the world
could never be measured.
Because of them men have
attained the very heights
of ambition; because of
them even thrones have
been established and de-
stroyed.
What a disappointment,
then, to see the fair young
wife's beauty fading away
before a year passes over
her head! A sickly, half
dead-and-alive woman,
especially when, she is
the mother of a family,
is a damper to all joyous
ness in the home, and a
drag upon her husband.
The cost of a wife S con-
slant illness is a serious
drain upon the funds of a
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-30

AOuseuOlu, ana 100 Otten all the doc
toring does no good.
If a woman finds her energies are
tagging, and that every ything tires her,
dark shadows appear under her eyes,
her sleep is disturbed by horrible
dreams; if she has backache, head
aches, bearing-down pains, nervous
ness. whites, irregularities, or despon-
dency, she should take means to build
her system up at once by tonic with
specific powers, such as Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound.
This great remedy for women has
done more in the way of restoring
health to the women Of America than
all other medicines put together. 1t is
the safeguard of woman's health.
Following we publish, by request, a
letter from young wife,.
Mrs. Bessie Aipsley of Gil South 10th
Street, Tacoma, Wash, writes:
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-30

LITTLE SUNSHINE.
The Sensational Serpentine Dancer,
After a Successful Tour of the World,
Returns to the Scene of her Former
Triumphs.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-30

Plenty Of Other Ways.
"I've stopped wearing dresses with
trains for hygienic reasons"
"Oh well, even so; you widows can
always raise lot of dust.'-Tales.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-30
Dear Mrs. Pinkham:-

Dear Mrs. Pinkham:-
Ever since my child was born have suf-
fered, as hope few women ever have, with
inflammation. female weakness, bearing down
pains, backache and wretched headaches. 1t
affected my stomach so that could not en-
joy my meals, and half my time was spent
in bed.
lydia E Pinkham'S Ye1etahle Com
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1905-05-03
OLD oHAMPoEa DAY.

The spirit Of the meeting at Cham.
pOeg May I'd was kindness throughout.
The numerous assemblage, including
the officers and men Of the steamers
chat carried a large portion Of the pco.
pile up or down the beautiful river to
the place Of meeting were courteous and
equal TO the requirements for such an
occasion.
As TO the day and the place the pre-.
vailing sentiment was that the day
should be a state holiday, the monu.
ment should be enlarged, the grounds
widened to at least ten acres, contain.
ing permanent shelter and seats for
Thousands.
The steamer landing should receive
protective attention against the rivers
action.
Attention was called TO changes
made in two years on the bank, and
$4,000 TO $4,000 were sums often
spoken of that should be expended on
che site Of the birthplace of civil gov
crnment west of the Missouri river by
the American Anglo.Saxon race. The
provisions of the Legislature so far seem
very petty and insignificant.
The address of Hon.R @. Smith was
highly spoken Of by all who heard it.
Mr., Smith has been Republican and
a Democrat at times, as he saw 6t to
adapt himself to the emergencies of the
occasion.
He is to Western Oregon what s. A.
Lowell is to Eastern Oregon, a fearless
and eloquent tribune OF the people.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1905-05-03
A Pleasant way to travel.

rhe above is the usual verdict Of
the traveller using the Missouri Pacific
railway between the Pacific coast and
the east, and We believe that the serv'
ice and accommodations given merit
this statement. From Denver, Colora'
do Springs and Denver there are two
through trains daily to Kansas City
and St. Louis, carrying Pullman's lat
est standard eleetric-lighted sleeping
cars chair ears and up-tO-date dining
cars The same excellent service is
operated from Kansas City and St.
Louis to Memphis, Little Rock and Hot
Springs. If you are going east OF
south, write for particulars and fun in
formation.
W. @. M'BRIDE, Gen. Agt.,
q" lsA Third St.. Portland, Ore.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1905-05-03

Of the city council. A modified Sunday
closing plan will also be inaugurated.
Many eastern Oregon people were bit
by the Home Cooperative company Of
Denver, which company has been de.
clared bogus by the federal authorities.
While blasting out stumps in a street
at Troy recently root weighing 20
pounds was hurled into the air 200 feet
and came down through the roof of a
livery stable.
Those who have seen the new road
grader work that the county court Of
Benton county recently bought, are
ticklcd half to death over the good
work the machine does.
The largest oak tree in the william
ettc Valley is said to be on the Wilson
farm between Halsey and Shedd. A
point two feet from the ground the
tree measures 20 feet in circumference,
giving it diameter of nearly seven
feet.
Instead of their bands Of worthless,
NANCY horses, the Indians Of the Una.
tilla reservation are to be encouraged
to run cattle on their grazing land, thus
doing away with the source of mango
that has been so troublesome for many
years in this section.
Mark Owens and Joe McCreary went
to Grange City the first of the week to
get load of sand, and by accident no.
ticed some papers sticking out beneath
some stones. Taking them out it was
found that they were notes and checks
which were taken by the burglars who
blew open the safe in Starbuck, which |
iad value Of over $1,000. They were
returned to their owners.-Dayton
JourierPress.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1905-05-03
STATE NEWS

Astoria has nearly $4,000 population
New potatoes made their appearance
at Ashland the eth Of April.
According to the cesus just compet'
ed Albany has 352s population.
Burglars entered a pawnshop at Pen
dleton and got away with $50 worth of
! goods.
Some Of the Lebanon merchants want
an improvement club organized in that
town.
Receipts of the postofiice at Eugene
show an increase of 10 per cent over
last year
A 100000 mortgage was fled at
Baker City, the recording fees of which
was S5s.
High school students at Astoria pre-
sented the farce comedy, "The Ulster, :"
to a packed house.
A crazy carnival il to be held at
Ashland the 5th, and all comers are
invited to attend in crazy costume.
Officers are trying to round up a
gang of FIVE horse thieves who have
been operating in the eastern part Of
the state.
Thirteen mills bid on an order of
2OOO barrels of -four for China, and
the independence FIGURING Mills got
the order.
The Independence band boys have re
ccived their new uniforms, and some
of the people there think the music
sounds better now.
The city and county authorities at
Astoria are going to get together and
see what kind Of a deal they can make
to regulate gambling there.
So many merchants at Astoria are
against the ordinance taxing dry goods,
groceries and shoe stores that the coun.
ell will not pass the measure.
Gambling will be closed at Pendleton,
so have decided the police committee