davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-05-31

If all women we're as good as they
look men would never dare marry
them.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-05-31

Friendships Of women are cushions
wherein they stick their pins.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-05-31

Few women ever destroy love let
ters, though such letters often destroy
women.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1905-08-30
The Border Rufian."

The recent death of DR.. ]. H. String
fellow, speaker of the first Kansas
house Of representatives, recalls the
fact that he was the first person to
whom the famous epithet border ruff
fan" was applied. Gov. Reeder is said
to have used the term, whereupon the
doctors brother knocked the governor
down. The legislature was in session
at Shawnee mission, a little across the
Kansas Missouri line. This was the
legislature which adopted the statutes
of Missouri entire, substituting the
word Kansas" for Missouri" wher-
ever necessary. DR.. Sringfellow was
called the father of Atchison and start
ed the first newspaper in Kansas, the
Squatter Sovereign. Stringfellow was
an ardent champion of the proslavery
cause, but, as history tells, his party
was unsuccessful against John Brown,
Jim Lane and the other antislavery
leaders in making Kansas a slave state
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1905-08-30
FADS IN SIZES OF CIGARS.
Queer Notions Crop Out Among the
Smokers Who Think They
Know It All.

Two smokers stood in one of the
cigar shops in the vicinity of the
stock exchange, during the rest hour.
says the New York Sun.
You have all sizes of CIGARS" said
one of the smokers as he surveyed
the stock. Then these questions and
answers followed:
In length" replied the shopkeeper,
the average cigar is from four to five
inches"
HAS the size of cigar anything to
do with the price?'
Sometimes. Not always. The sto-
gle is longer than the average length
and everybody knows what a stogie
costs. They are seven inches long.
Il have another cigar the same
length as a stogie, which sells three
for dollar. The cigar that sells
three for a half is about five and a
half inches long, but it is thicker than
the cigar of the same length that sells
for ten cents straight or Is cents
straight"
What is the weight of an average
cigar?"
"All depends on the tobacco. One
cigar that sells for ten cents weighs
about one-fourth of an ounce. An
other, the same size, weighs an eighth
of an ounce. and still another of the
same size, that sells at the same price,
weighs half an ounce. The brand that
sells three for a dollar is the same
weight"
Il suppose there are fads in sizes OF
cigars just as there are fads in fash.
ion?'
well, you're on. Just at present
the fad seems to be long cigars of the
panatela shape. They are all prices,
too, from/ive cents up"
Isn't it a fact that the average
smoker don't mean men who run
to fancy prices and buy by the box
buys the five cent cigar?"
More five cent cigars are now sold
than formerly" the shopkeeper re.
piled. "The five-cent panatela shape,
for instance. we sold for ten cents
straight when we paid duty am re-
ferring to the Porto Rico cigars.
Il have one customer who used to
buy them by the box, at five dollars.
When the duty was taken off 1 gave
him one of the brand one day and told
him 1t was a new five-cent cigar that
had just put on the market. He
smoked about half of it and said it
was enough, and he wanted his old
smoke. Then I told him it was the
same, less the duty"
"Then what happened?"
what usually happens? You smok-
ers think you know more about cigars
than we who make them. That man
wouldn't have it. He insisted on
smoking a ten-cent straight, and
gave it to him. Price is what GOV
erned him, just as it governs most
men when they buy. The average
man is not much of bargain hunter
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1905-08-30
The Barber County Index.
PAINTER 4 HERR. Publishers.
MEDICINE LODGE, KANSAS
Conserving Morality.

Some progressive business banks in
Manhattan now equip gymnasiums and
libraries, as well as dining halls, for
the help, from junior clerks to the tell
ers. When young man is engaged he
is taken on a months probation with
out being subject to filing a bond. If
he be continued in service after that pc
rind, individual bonding is required in
every instance. The parent house OF
the Corn Exchange bank, in the Wall
street district, says the New York Press,
necessarily employs a considerable force
as 1t clears for it's many branches
throughout the city. Every mothers
son on the regular payroll is entitled
to daily free lunch on the premises.
the meals being supplied from Delmon-
ico's downtown place. The statement
is made that the purpose in furnishing
this convenience is not to curtail en-
ployes' monday recreation time, but
with an idea of eonfining companionship,
thus steering clear of pool rooms, bucket
shops and the Curb"
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1905-08-30
Come Cook Ladvi

We are willing to enter into con-
tract with party DESTROYS of perform
ing the culinary duties of our little
household. We will pay more than any
body else in town, will give every after
noon off and no cooking on Sundays,
pleads the yearning scribe of the News
of Echo, Oregon. The good wife will
wait if there is rush at the table; now,
we don't mean a rush of grub, but
rush for location. We are trying
to mortgage this plant; if we succeed, we
will purchase an auto, if we can raise
enough to pay the first payment and
freight, of course. This vehicle is at
the pleasure of the III G." and her
friends. All we ask is notice each morn
ing when we are preparing our coffee
and sinkers, which we would, of course,
expect to do if we got anything that day
Now, if this is not enough inducement,
then stay where you are and starve to
death and see if we care. For further
particulars write this office and stamp
will be returned.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1905-08-30
How It Sounded

Gov. Mclean of New Hampshire was
talking about Henry James criticism
of American speech. Il suppose that
Mr.. James wants us to use the broad
a." he said, land to talk in every
way like Oxford graduates. The broad
a is all very we'll and the Oxford
graduate talks more unsteady. no
doubt, than the native of Paint Rock.
At the same time it was through the
cultivation of this English way of
speaking that my best friend nearly
lost his wife-lost her, l mean, through
divorce, not through death. She made
one day some biscuits and at dinner
that night she said in her cultivated
way: L made a big batch of these
biscuits You did, indeed, dear said
my friend, her husband. How do you
know how big batch l made?' she
asked, surprised. I thought ne MUIR
INJURED, that you said botch.'"
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1905-08-30

continue to suffer rather than submit
to examinations which so many physi-
clans propose in order to intelligently
treat the disease; and this is the rea-
son why so many physicians fail to
cure female disease.
This is also the reason why thousands
upon thousands of women are CORE
spending with Mrs. Pinkham. at Lynn,
Mass. To her they can confide every
detail of their illness, and from
her great knowledge, obtained from
years of experience in treating female
ills. Mrs. Pinkham can advise women
more wisely than the local physician.
Read how Mrs. Pinkham helped Mrs.
I. c. Willadsen, of Manning, Ia. She
writes:
Dear Mrs. Pinkham:-
II can truly say that you have saved my
life, and | cannot express my gratitude in
words Before wrote to you telling you
hew felt, had doctored for over two years
steady. and spent lots of money in medicines
besides, but it all failed to do me any good 1
had female trouble and would daily have faint,
ing spells, backache, bearing down pains, and
my monthly periods were very irregular and
finally ceased. wrote to you for Your adj
vice and received letter full of instructions
just what to do, and also commenced to take
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound,
and have been restored to perfect health.
Had it not been for you would have been in
my grave to-day"
Mountains of proof establish the fact
that no mediclne in the world equals
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound for restoring womens health.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1905-08-30

Locked in narrow cell in the peni-
Tertiary and left there for hours by
a warden, while a crazy man in an adj
joining cell was shouting at the top of
his voice, Hamlin Garland, the noted
novelist, had his latest experience re-
Gently in gaining local color for his
next work. Garland visited the peni-
Tertiary and asked to be locked in a
real cell for half an hour. The war
den complied, telling deputy to re-
lease the author in 80 minutes. The
deputy forgot the novelist for three
hours. When at last he went to re-
lease him he found the. visitor pacing
his cell like Gagged lion. Garland ex-
pressed his indignation in warm tones
but afterward repented and sent the
warden box of cigars.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1905-08-30

when we got here all we have had to do
is to battle the dirt off in layers.
1t takes nine baths to get down to
American epidermis, and the last bath
has jackplane to go with it, and thing
they scale fish with But we are all
right now. with rooms in the hotel. and
rested, and when we go home we are
going to be sailed down and given
chloroform and shipped as mummies.
Dad insists that he will never cross a
desert or an ocean again, and l don't
know what is to become of us. Anyway.
we are going to enjoy ourselves until we
are killed Off
The first two days we just looked
about Cairo, and saw the congress of ma
tons. for there is nothing just like this
town anywhere. There are people from
all quarters of the globe, the most out
landlsh and the most up-to-date. This
place is an asylum for fakirs and rob-
Ders, place where defaulters, bribers.
murderers, swindlers and clippers
are safe. as there seems to be
no eXtradition treaty that cannot
be overcome by paying money to the
omclals. found that out the first day.
and told dad we should have no stand
ing In the society of Egypt unless the
people thought he had committed some
gigantic crime and fed his country.
Dad wanted to know how if would
strike me if it was noised about the no.
tel that he had robbed a national hank
but l told him there would be nothing
uncommon or noticeable about robhing
bank, as half the tourists were banl,
defaulters, so he would have to he ac-
cused OF something startling. so we de-
clded that dad should be charged with
being the principal thing in the Stand
ara OIL company, and that he had under
ground pipe lines running under sew
eral states, gathering oil away from the
people who owned it, and that at the
present time he was worth a billion dol
lars. and his income was SO 900. Ooo
every little while. and. by ginger. Won
ought to see the people bow down to him.
| Say, common bank robbers and default
ers Just fell over themselves to get ac-
quainted with dad. and to carry out the
joke. put some kerosene oil on dads
handkerchief, and that clinched it. for
everybody loves the smell of perfume
ina. represents billion dollars.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1905-08-30
The Reason whv.

Drummond, Wis, Aug. Dist (Special)--
Whole families in bayfield, County are
singing the praises of Dodd's Kidney Pills
and the reason why is given in expert
ences such as that of Mr.. T. T. Void, a
well-known citizen here.
Il had such pains in my back that I
did not know what to do" says Mr..
Void, land as l came across an advertise
ment of Dodd's kidney Pills, sent for a
box. That one box relieved me of all my
pains. My wife also used them and found
them just what she needed. recommend
Dodd's. Kidney Pills as a sure cure for
Backache and other Kidney Troubles
Backache is one of the earliest symp-
toms of Kidney Disease. Dodd's Kidney
Pills cure it promptly and permanently
and prevent it developing into Rheuma-
tism, Dropsy,. Diabetes or Bright's Dis
ease.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1905-08-30
The Bad Boy and His Dad Arrive in
Cairo-At the Hotel They Meet
Some Egyptian Princesses = Dad
Rides Camel to the Pyramids and
Meets with Difficulties.
BY HON. GEORGE PECK.


Ex-Governor of Wisconsin, Former Editor
of Pecks Sun, Author of "Peck's
Bad Boy" etc.)
Copyright 1905. by Joseph B. Bowles.)
Cairo, Egypt.-My Dear Old Irish
Vegetable: Gee, but you ought to see dad
and right now, at hotel, waiting for
chance at a room, when bride and
groom get ready to vacate it, and go
somewhere else. This hotel is full Of
married people who look scared when
ever there is new arrival, and came
pretty near creating panic by going
into the parlor of the hotel, where a
dozen couples were sitting around max
ing googoo eyes at each other, and get
ting behind screen and, in disguised
voice, shouting, 81 know all! Prepare
to defend yourself!"
The women turned pale and some said,
"At last! At last" while others got
faint in the head, and some fell on the
bosoms of their husbands and said:
Don't shoot" You see, most of these
wives had husbands somewhere else,
that might be looking for them. 1 have
warned dad not to be seen conversing
with a woman, or he may be shot by a
husband who is on her trail, or by the
husband she has with her.
Well, sir, of all the trips we have had
anywhere, the trip from Constantinople
here was the limit For two or three
days we were on dinky steamboats, with
Arabs, Turks, negroes and all rationale
ties camping on deck, full of fleas, and
with cholera germs on them big enough
to pick like blueberries, and all of the
passengers were dirty and eat things
that would make a dog in America go
mad. The dog biscuit that are fed to
American dogs would pass as a delicate
CONNECTION on the menu of any steam
boat we struck, and l had rather lie
down in barn yard with wet dog for
a pillow and cast-off blanket from a
smallpox hospital for a bed, than to
occupy the bridal chamber of any steam
boat we struck.
And then the ride across the desert
by rail to reach Cairo was the worst in
the world. Passengers in rags, going to
Mecca, or some other place of worship.
eating cheese thousand years old made
from old goats milk, and dug from the
Pyramids too late to save it, was what
surrounded us, and the sand storm blew
through the cars laden with germs of the
plague, and stuck to us so tight you
couldn't get it off with sandpaper, and
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1905-08-30

and pulled his feet up on top and sal
there like frog on pond lily leaf.
My jackass only stepped his feet in the
edge, and dad wanted me to swim my
jackass out to the camel, and let him
fall off onto the jack, but / knew dad
would sink my jack IN a minute, and
wouldn't go in the river. Well, the
camels drank about an hour, with dad
sitting there meditating, and then the
dragomen got them out, and we started
OH for the pyramids, which were in
plain sight like the pictures you have
seen, with palm trees along the Nile, and
Arabs camping on the bank, and it
looked as though everything was going
to be all right, when suddenly dads
camel stopped dead still and wouldn't
move foot, and all the rest of the cam
els stopped, closed their eyes and went
to sleep, and the Arabs went to sleep.
and dad and the jackass and l were ap-
parently the only animals in Egypt that
were awake.
Dad kicked his camel in the ribs, but it
wouldn't bulge. He asked me if
couldn't think up some way to start the
procession, and 1 stopped my jackass
and thought minute, and told dad l
had it. l had bought some giant fire
crackers and roman candles at Cairo.
with which I was going to fire a salute
on top of the biggest pyramid, to cele-
brate for old America, and l told dad
what l had got, and thought if l got
OH my jackass and fired a salute there
in the desert it would wake them up.
Dad said "all right, let er go, but do it
sort of easy, at first, so not to overdo it,
and l got my artillery ready. Say, you
can't fire off fireworks easy, you got to
touch match to 'em. and dodge. and
take your chances. Well, 1 scratched
a match and lit the giant fire cracker.
and put it under the hind legs of dads
camel, and when it got to fixing lit my
roman candle, and as the fire cracker ex-
ploded like a 16-inch gun, my roman
candle began to spout balls of fire, and
| aimed one at each camel. and the
whole push started on a stampede for
the pyramids, the camels groaning. the
Arabs praying to Allah, dad yelling to
stop 'er, and my jackass led the bunch,
and l was left in the desert to pick up
the hats
l guess 1 will have to tell you the res
OF the tragedy in my next letter.
Yours with plenty of sand,
HENNERY.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1905-08-30
Red Hair.

When red hair makes its appearance
on human head all lukewarmness is
It's admirers, with artists in the van, are
almost Historically enthusiastic They
call it golden, though the gold that
comes out of the earth is not often ex.
actly that shade. A red-haired woman
is sure of success in some quarter
however plain her face or Insignificant
her figure. The detractors of red hair
say it is sign of bad temper or immor.
atty or both. and therefore to be s1Tu-
pulously avoided.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1905-08-30

Cardinal Gibbons expressed vital
truth in saying that at the bottom of
every story of corruption in public
Office and in high finance in this
country is tie trouble of money!
The distinguished prelate made very
wise and necessary distinction, in
adding, in response to inquiry, that the
trouble of money" is not in the love
OF money for itself, but in the ambition
to acquire it for purposes Of extrava-
CANT or magnificent display. This am
bition leads. in many cases, to dishonor
and disgrace.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1905-08-30

faces at me on my jackass, and finally
dad wanted to change works with me
and ride my jackass, but told him We
had left the stepladder back at Cairo. so
dad hung to his mountainous steed, but
the dust blew so you couldn't see, and il
was getting monotonous when the
queerest thing happened.
You have heard that camels can fill I'D
with water and go for week without
asking for any more. Well, / guess the
week was up, and it was time to load the
camels with water. for as we came to
the Nile every last camel made rush
for the river, and they went in like
yoke of oxen on stampede, and waded
in clear up to the humps, and began to
drink. and dad yelled for q life preserYer
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1905-08-30

All the women wanted to dance with
dad in the hotel dance, and because they
thought I must be heir to all the oil
billions, they wanted to hold me on
their laps, and stroke my hair, as though
was it. / guess we are going to have
everything our own way here, and if
dad does not get eloped with by some
Egyptian princess, shall be mistaken.
The Egyptians are pretty near being ne
groes, and wear bangles in their ears,
and earrings on their arms. You take
it in the dark, and let a princess put
her arm around you, and sort of squeeze
you, and you can't tell but what she is
white, only there is an odor about them
like "Araby the blessed" butin the light
they are only negroes. a little bleached,
with red paint on their cheeks. If was
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1905-08-30

going to marry an Egyptian woman.
would take her to Norway, or up to-
wards the north pole, where it is night
all day, and you wouldn't realize that
you were married to a colored woman.
To be around among these Egyptians is
a good deal like having pass behind
the scenes at the play of Ben Hur in New
York, only here the dark and dangerous
women are the real thing, instead OF
being white girls with black paint on.
We have just got back from the pyra-
mids, and dad is being treated for spinal
meningitis, on account of riding camel.
| never tried harder to get dad to go
anywhere on the cars than 1 did to get
him to go to the pyramids by rail, as a
millionaire should, but he said he was
going to break camel to the saddle.
and then buy him and take him home
for side show. So we went down to
the camel garage, and hired camel for
dad. and four camels for the arabs and
things he wanted for an escort, and a
jackass for me. There were automobiles
and carriages, and trolleys, and every
thing that we could have hired, and
been comfortable for the ten-mile ride.
but dad was mashed on the camel. and
he got it.
Well, sir, it was not one of these
you to get on, and then got up on the
installment plan, and chuck you for
ward and aft, but a proud Egyptian
camel that stands up straight and
makes you climb up on stepladder.
Dad got along up the camel's ribs,
when the stepladder fell, and he grabbed
hold of the hair on the two humps, and
the humps were loose and they Topped
over on the side, and it must have hurt
the camePs feelings to have his humps
pulled down, so he reached around his
head and took mouthful out of the seat
OF dads pants, and dad yelled to the
camel to let go, and the Arabs amputat-
ed the camel from dads trousers. and
pushed dad up on top with a bamboo
pole with a crotch in it, and when dad
got settled between the humps he said,
Let 'er CO." and we started
Dad could have had a camel with a
platIOrm on top, and an awning, but he
insisted on taking his camel raw, and
he sat there between those humps. his
trousers worked up towards his knees,
showing his red socks and blue drawers.
and his face got pale from sea sickness.
and the red, white and blue colors made
me think of a fourth of July at home.
We went out of town like wild west
show, and dad seemed happy, except
that every time an automobile went
whizzing along, dads camel got the
jumps and waltzed sideways, out into
the sandy desert, and chewed at dads
socks, so part of the time dad had to
draw up his legs and sit on one hump,
and put his shoes on the other hump.
The Arabs on the other camels would
ride up alongside and steer dads camel
back into the road, by sticking sharp
sticks into the camel and the animal
would yawn and groan and make up
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1905-08-30
TO NATURE

Return to the o1d-time whole
some wheat food of our fore-fathers.
Buy package of EGG-0-SEE and
use it tomorrow morning.
When you dip your spoon into
its golden brown flakes you will
realize that AT LAST there is a
delicious tempting dish made from
the whole wheat.
EGG-0-SEE is made from the per-
feet grains of the choicest white
wheat, containing ALL THE
VITAL ELEMENTS that make
for buoyant health and good
digestion.
1t is Natures perfect food, and
satisfies your. craving for some
thing good to eat
Perfect digestion means life
power, energy and a robust we'll
being. Attain it by eating EGG.
0.SEE.
EGG-0-SEE is sold in alright,
inner-lined packages, insuring
purity and freshness.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1905-08-30
A Finders Graft.

Il want you to put in your Lost and
Found column az advertisement like this:
Wallet containing considerable sum of
money and papers Finder will keep mon
ey return papers, said the man.
Don't you think" suggested the clerk,
you had better add No questions
asked?'"
No. but you may say No questions an
swered. I'm the inder.H-PhiIadelph
Press.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1905-08-30

''Take keer O. de pennies" said Uncle
Eben, AN de dollars will take keer O de
folks dat you done handed de pennies to,
to save fob you."-W ashington Star.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1905-08-30
Shake Into Your Shoes

Aliens Foot-Ease. 1t cures painful, swollen
smarting, sweating feet. Makes new shoe.
easy. Sold by all Druggists and Shoe Stores
Address A. S. Olmsted, LIE Roy, N. Y.