The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1905-01-28
THE OFFICE BOY WANTS TO KNOW

The OFFICE BOY WANTS TO KNOW
How's your grip?
mot your fraternity shake, but the
other kind?
Whether you've been able to make
up your mind which is the meanest
thing about it?
the stuHiness in the head9
the pains in the neck, back and
most other parts Of the anatomical
superstructure?
the soreness in the muscles and
joints?
or the sense of general demorali-
zation and no aceountness?
Who cares to be ultra fashionable
when grips the style?
If it wouldn't be better to be utterly
tabooed by high society?
How many victims would object to
lose their grip9
If it was Elbert's hot air that set the
New Orleans Athenaeum a6re?
If it mightn't be a good idea to hire
him to lecture in Phoenix Opera House?
taking the precaution, Of course,
to increase the insurance first:
Why some Of the promoters OF the
new opera house scheme haven't
thought of this?
Il they are skeptical about Hub
bard's superheated atmosphere igni-
ting the Phenix:s
since Duncan Clark s torrid beauty
show failed even to scorch it::o
IF lots of the boys weren't disap-
pointed with the frigidity OF ''the hot
test show on earth''?
If it's SO that some of them thought
they had a good case against the boz
office for obtaining money under false
pretenses?:
If they weren't utterly disguised be.
cause the show was SO decent?
lit could possibly have been any
hummer?
If, after all, it ISM better for it TO
have been decently bum than smuttily
rotten?
If the fact that Donaldsonville peo.
pie are peaceable and law abiding
| wasn't proven when the audience sal
through such a performance without
raising a rough house?
If they wouldn't have been justified
in going to almost any extreme under
the circumstances?
II it isn't high time to apply locally
a little of this talk of sselevating the
drama"
If Mayor Behrman hopes for better
things from his new police commits
sioner than he got from his unpublished
Diamond
Whether it isn't peculiar that the
burgomeister hopes should be based
/ on Fears?
II it won't be unfortunate If the new
man Fears to do his dutys
not like Diamond "done" it, bu
as it should be sdid''
| If Commissioner Fears, being q
j railroad man, oughtn't to railroad
/ things through the police board il
good shape?
What happened to the supper 10
/ four?
If the spread didn't come neare
being in the nature of supper TO
two?
What made the quartette show vi
so late?
If the pair Of early birds regretted
the diIatoriness of the others?
How the host explained matters?
If the assistant attorney for th'
defense' was prevailed upon to make
the first watch?
| If it wasn't shame for him to throw
all the labor on the shoulders OF hi
confreres
| Who knows what the verdict Nigh
have been if the young attorney ha'
but kept watchful eye on the jur.
| from eight to twelve?
/ What made the over-the-river younl
| lady think it was a man she saw?
If it isn't strange she doesn't kno'
the difference between q man and
COW?
If her mistake was caused by a re
semblance in the cow to some fellow {
her acquaintance:
If the animal was similar in appear
ance to the kind-faeed old COWS cn
sees about the time the 'steenth drin
comes along?
What the pater thought when he wa
aroused out of a sound sleep TO g
1 cunning for a COW?
II he thought it out loud?
II you have heard OF Dalferes' 81
:. clearance sale?
If yon won't take it in9