davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-03-22

American Bureau Of Professor Ho1r Cure
for Consumption, New York:
Dear Sirs-Enclosed find one dollar for
bottle Of Hotr's Cure. have used
this treatment in my practice with sue
cess. I find the treatment the most bene-
fetal of any used in eleven years practice.
After serving at Kings county hospital
from September, 1892, to 1903, never
wanted any further care of tuberculosis
patients. Hoff's Cure has lightened the
load by its almost specific effects.
have just dismissed case from my
office who had gained such results from
the treatment that in ordering this bottle
l have gone on unintentionally at the be-
ginning Of this order and shown you my
appreciation of your cure. This note is
too long for a testimonial. and perhaps
uncalled for, even II were terse, but l
stand ready to testify as to results. Yours
truly. G. MAURER, MD.
Hinckley, N. Y.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-03-22

American Bureau. New York
Gentlemen: l have been completely cured
Of asthma with Professor IIofrs Consump-
ton Cure. I have been sufferer for three
years more and was treated by several
physicians with no relief. + tried every
remedy recommended me with disappoint-
ment. l heard Of your remedy through a
friend. and procured two bottles. This,
thank God. has completely cured me.
I voluntarily give this testimonial in
order that those who are suffering with
asthma and bronchial troubles will find the
same speedy relief. You are at liberty to
publish this exactly as written. Yours
gratefully, MRS. S. GRAHAM,
Thixton, Jefferson County, Kentucky.
American Bureau. New York
Gentlemen: Enclosed find two dollars in
money for two more bottles of your Prof.
Hoff's Consumption Cure. think It is
great edicine for asthma and catarrhal
affections. I think only for 1t would be
in the grave now, but 1t keeps me so
can do my work, which Is more than
have done for the last three winters.
Yours truly, JOS. F. GREEN,
Seneca, Neb.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-03-22

medineich
direction Hof with the the
Hofs
laboratories Bndner Schng the we'll and avorab
in of
OF
tientsi application
Bureau by sending
disease periand
outa
with the suspicious coughs.
American Bureau of the Prof. oh Cure for Consumption
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-03-22

New Footwear.
1905 STYLES.
r ASTER shoes and oxfords !.
must soon be provided.
We are prepared to show you
the snappiests styles at mod
crate prices you ever saw.
The well-known Edwin c..
Burt make for women, So. so
and our popular defend
err" $500 line for men
and women. None made that
equal them at the prices.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1905-01-05
Shouting Their Praises.

Kirkland, Ill.,, Jan. 2nd.-(Special)
Cured Of the terrible Rheumatic
pains that made him a cripple for
years, MT. Richard r. Greenhon, an
old and respected resident of this
place, is shouting the praises of the
remedy that cured him, Dodd's Kid
uey Pills.
II had the rheumatism in my left
limb so that I could not walk over ten
to fifteen rods at a. time, and that by
the use of two canes" Mr.. Greenhon
says. 81 would have to sit or lie
down on the ground when / was out
trying to walk and the sweat would
run down my face, with so much pain.
I could not sleep at night for about
I've or six weeks.
81 tried different doctors medicines.
but they were all no good. Then
sent for Dodd's Kidney Pills and
almost from the first they brought
relief. BY the time 1 had taken four.
teen boxes of them my rheumatism
was all gone and I can truly say
feel better than I have in the last
twenty-five years"
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1905-01-05
Calumet
Baking
Powder
JUDGE DEFINES a 4w.Dow"
Perfect In quality.
Moderate In price.

Asserts That Term Admits Of Several
Constructions. s5
can income of 50 a week-ands not
able to do much of anything?-and
you think you can take care Of a little
girl who isn't your own-but what
about that income-how does it come
to you?" queried Judge Mack, while
Investigating the dependency of Katie
Berhall.
@The income?' repeated Mrs. Mel,
bergerhein, the woman in the case.
"Well-judge-you see-my husband
gives me 81 a week"
Whereupon Officer William Stein, OF
the Children's Aid society, i~nterposed:
"Your honor, this woman told me
she was a widow"
His honor leaned forward and stern.
ly said:
..How's this? The officer says You
told him you were a widow, and YOU
please, your honor, I I'm a widow
Mrs. Neibergerhein interrupted. Its
grass isn't tia grass widow widow
that's what l am. judge. He didn't
ask me what kind, your honor"
The court smiled.
"Yes-y-e-s-there's a difference and
a distinction in widowsy," ruled his
honor-""and all are widows. Well
have to admit that-y-e-s."
That's one on me-" confessed Off.
Ger Stein, and a tip for future use
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1905-01-05
NO LONGER HER DOG.
Blonde Woman Had Forever Lost
Claim on "Goldie."

Blonde Woman Had Forever Lost
Claim on "Goldie."
A big blonde woman descended
viciously upon a less pretentious but
determined woman she met walking
IN Park avenue, holding a handsome
setter dog by a leather leash.
What are you doing with M dog?"
h shouted. Come here, Goldie."
old established ownership by ap.
pearlng overjoyed at the meeting.
1T may have been your dog once
retorted the little woman, but it has
been mine for four weeks"
From q wrist-bag she took a docu-
ment signed by the Society for the
prevention of Cruelty to Animals ac-
~knowledging the receipt of SIS and Civ.
ing her ownership of the dog. Cards
We're exchanged, and the case was sub
sequently investigated by an attorney
representing the blonde m But
she a to give up her dog.
1t appeared the woman who was
leading the dog found him wandering
on the street. He was not regularly
licensed and had no collar. She adver.
tlsed once for the owner and then
took the dog to the Animal Shelter.
She was told that all lost dogs were
killed there if not claimed within
forty-eight hours. She asked to be
notified by telephone if the dog was
claimed within that time. If not, she
would pay the usual fee and take him
away. No owner appeared and she got
the dog. Goldie was lost to the blonde
woman forever.-New York Press.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1905-01-05
HOW 70 TREAT A sPRAlN.
insist on Perfect Rest Before Arrival
of Doctor.

of Doctor.
The question of how to treat a
sprain is often raised. Everybody
understands the nature of a sprain;
that wrenching of a joint whereby
some of the lisaments Chose very
useful bands which unite the homes
forming the joint are violently
stretched, or perhaps even r%uptured.
This kind of injury is rarely, except
through unusual complications, dan
gerous in it's nature, but it is certain
ly very painful, and when Of a serious
nature. may result in, the permanent
impairment of the joint. Such an in
jury, if at all severe, is Immediately
followed by marked swelling OF the
parts, and prompt attention should be
given anticipating the surgeons COM
ing.
The very first item in the treatment
of a sprain is perfect rest OF the limb
until a doctor can be summoned. Re-
duce the swelling by applications OF
hot lamentations. as hot as can be en-
dured; change about once in every
lnTeS HOuis. IL pASGe VI oiioAlh w
not at hand, use common newspaper.
Wind it carefully outside the hot
cloth; this will prevent the escape of
the steam, and prevent the cloth from
cooling. A good way to say the hands
from being scalded is to placesthe hot,
dripping flannel in a towel. then, talk
ing hold of each end Of the towel, to
wiring it until the flannel is dry
enough to apply.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1905-01-05
WOES OF A STAGE MANAGER.

''While we all felt that we had
troubles of our own in the recent dis
astrous production of Bird Center in
New York" said George Richards,
who had a leading part in the play,
"the stage managers troubles eclipsed
all the rest. Everything seemed to
go wrong for him.
zone of the many slips that hap
pened was when the piano heirloom,
fifty years in the family was brought
out. 1t proved to be a new upright
of the most modern style. Then, in
making the Welsh rabbit with baking
powder it was supposed to swell up
and lift the lid. To get this effect a
cream colored toy rubber balloon was
to be used and blown up at the proper
moment. They could only find red
balloons, and so for the first time in
the history of cooking a red Welsh
rabbit was evolved from the chatting
dish.
"Then water would not come from
the pump; but, to crown all, when the
brandy was poured into the glasses
Git was really ginger ale and had be.
come warm) it foamed up. Imagine
foaming brandy! After that we los'
all hope"
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1905-01-05
Retaliation at a Dance.

She vas young. 1t a her first
season. and it pleased her to snub hei
cab cousin most numerically when.
ever he asked for Q dance.
No." she protested, one evening
you can't e my program-it's all
full"
But there'H be extras. Can't
have an extra?'
"Ye-es," returned the young WON
an, srudgingly :e'inquishing her card
but don't sake tie first one, it's prom
ised."
Later in the evening when she
looked to see which dance her cousin
had appropriated she found that she
had food for reflection. The young
man had put lis; name down for the
four hundred and ninety-ninth extra,
Chicago Record-Herald Sunday Mag
aZinc.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1905-01-05
An Extended Chair.

When President Eliot of Harvard
toured OF the Pacific coast some TWEEN
ty years ago, one of the Western seats
oil learning which he visited was the
University Of Washington at Seattle.
He became much interested in Prof.
Q. B. Johnson, a well-known figure on
Puget Sound in those days, who was
ore of the colleges leading lights, and
in the curse of a conversation asked
the Western nan what chair he held.
Well said Johnson, Il am pro.
lessor Of biology, but l also give in
%struction in meteorology, botany,
physiology, chemistry, entomology and
a few others
II should say that you occupied a
whole settce. not a chair" rejoined
Harvard's chief.-Chicago Record.
Herald Sunday Magazine.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1905-01-05
cuTlcuRA SOAP
The Worlds Greatest Skin soap-The
Standard Of Every Nation OF
the Earth.

Millions Of the worlds best people
use Cutieura Soap, assisted by Cuti.
cura Ointment, the purest and sweet.
est Of emolient skin cures, for preserv.
ing, purifying and identifying the
skin, for cleansing the scalp of crusts,
scales and dandruff, and the stopping
Of falling hair, for softening, whiten,
ing and soothing red, rough and sore
hands, for baby rashes, feelings and
chafngs, and many sanative, antfsep.
tic purposes which readily suggest
themselves to women, especially
mothers, as we'll as for all the pur.
poses of the toilet. bath and nursery.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1905-01-05
Paid an Old Debt.

q have just had my first actual e K
perience with conscience money, so
to speak," said a prominent business
man.
Seventeen years ago a man con
tracted a debt with me. and as l had
never been able to make collection, had
to give it up as lost. There was no
way to collect it by law, and you can
imagine my surprise when l received
a check to-day for $500. While this
did not cancel the amount, l appreciate
it deeply, and can use it to, advantage
lust now.
1T is not often that a man owing
a debt pay after so many years, es.
pecially when the law could not reach
him."
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1905-01-05
Important to Mothers
HER uLT,MATum.
Why She Objected to Papa's MatrI
monjaj Assistance,

Why She Objected to Papa's Matrl-
moniai Assistance.
There is ,onesthing I want distinctly
understood" said the only daughter OF
the household, as she cornered her
parents and looked as though she were
Issuing a proclamation of war. 81 want
40 more interference in my affairs, so
far as the young me who come here
are concerned. I'm old enough to ex-
ercise my own opinions. You two act
as though you thought some young
man was trying to marry the whole
family, and that it devolves upon YOU
to make a satisfactory selections. You
have succeeded in running of, two or
three for whom I had a special liking,
and now l call a halt. That's my ulti
11atum."
See here, Gladys, I'll not permit
any such talk to your father. guess
we know what is best for you, and we
certainly have your welfare at heart
I give you to distinctly understand
81 do distinctly understand. You
broke my last engagement by sitting
at the table and telling George that ]
baked the hot biscuits that l never
saw until they were served. One dose
of them ruined his digestion, and J
don't blame him for not risking his
life with such supposed danger as q
constant menace"
Then she fled in tears, and the pair
.,--4 ~ p, =, m Hspr 40 al, DtI0, =, /,
manner that tended to revive the old
conundrum as to whether marriage is
a failure.-New York Press.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1905-01-05
GOOD INDEX. 10 CHARACTER.

,EgLEt
Habits and ldiosyncracics Betrayed in
the Laugh.
EAnthropologists say that the ability
to laugh comes to the child as it
grows older. The first smile is OBJ
served when the child is about forty
TO sixty days old, but it does not be,
gin to laugh until some time after
that.
Children and women laugh more
than men. not because the cares OF
life lie less heavily upon them, but
because the the former are more ex'
.citable, and because the moderating
power of the cerebral hemispheres is
less in them than among men gen
orally.
Profound study makes men serious
and SO foolish people are sometimes
noted for laughing immoderately,
Yet laughter is not so much an index
to intelligence as it is to the condi
ton Of health. Healthy, vigorous peo
pie are proverbially of good-humored
joyous, laughing natures, while the
"sallow, gloomy-eyed %dyspeptic" is a
description scientifically accurate.
The envious, wicked and malevolent
rarely laugh, because, phrenologists
say, they are impregnated with bile
and are, therefore, morose. The
naughty, the vain and the awkward
also laugh very little, for fear Of los
ing their dignity. The Spanish people
p%roverbially grave, are a good ex
ample.
People who have lines extending
downward from the angle at the
mouth toward the chin well marked
rarely laugh, and, moreover, show q
tendency to pensiveness in youth and
melancholy in after life.
Those who have lines raging out
ward from the eyes are, on the con.
trary, people who laugh a good deal
especially when the upper lip is
fraMed by two deep burrows running
down in the mouth.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1905-01-05
Mexican Journals.

Mexico is credited with being at
the head of the L,atin-American coun-
tries in the matter Of letters. Besides
possessing the Oldest organs of Span
tish-American journalism; IL is said to
have in active existence the first IL
brary established in America, which
is now at least 800 years old. In Chile,
Argentina and Peru there are papers
that have been published for fifty
years and more. One is the Ell Com
ercio, of Lima, which has had a career
of sixty years OF uninterrupted daily
issue.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1905-01-05
HABITS CHAIN
Certain Habits Unconsciously Formed
and Hard to Break.

SSlk IL = VI tIISS
and Hard to Break.
(. An ingenious philosopher estimates
that the amount of will power neces.
sary to break a lifelong habit would,
if it could be transformed, lift a
weight of many tons.
1t sometimes requires a higher de
gree of heroism to break the chains
of a pernicious habit than to lead a
forlorn hope in a bloody battle. A
lady writes from an Indiana town:
"From my earliest childhood I was
a lover of coffee. Before I was out
Of my teens I was a miserable dys-
peptic, suffering terribly at times with
my stomach.
II was convinced that it was coffee
that vas causing the trouble, and yet
l could not deny myself a cup for
breakfast. At the age of So I was in
very poor health indeed. My sister
told me / was in danger of becoming
a coffee drunkard.
"But I never could give up drink.
ing coffee for breakfast, although it
kept me constantly i'll, until I tried
Postum. | learned to. make it prop
erly according to directions, and now
we can hardly do without Postum for
breakfast, and care nothing at all for
coffee.
Il am no longer troubled with dys-
pepsia, do not have spells of suffering
with my stomach that used to trouble
ME so when l drank coffee" Name
given by Postum Co, Battle Creek
Mich.
r ook in each pkg. for the famous
little book, ..'The Road to MELVILLE.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1905-01-05

ONLY WANTED INFORMATION.
AS it is-Capt. Frank Conn'r business.
to build trolley roads, he always pa
tronizes them on principle whenever
possible and eschews cabs. When he
emerged from the Hotel. Marie An
toinette the other day a cab driver ac-
costed him with the regulation, "Keb,
sir, keb?"
"How much to the Long Island
ferry?"
Two dollars, sir"
No"
"All right, sir; mako it a dollar and
a half"
is that your lowest?"
eyes, sir; isn't that cheap cnough?"
ooh, I suppose So"
call right then. Jump in"
ooh, l don't want a cab. I only
wanted to find out how much l would
save by taking a street car"
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1905-01-05
Really Weak Soup

Sir Percy Sanderson, the British
consul general in New York, was talk
ing on the Etruria about weak soup.
"As good a description of weak soup
as l know he said. 'came from the
lowly lips of a poor in the
east end Of London. She was desti-
tute last winter, and a parish visitor
advised her to apply for soup at a
nejghboring soup kitchen.
She got some soup, but she did
not like it. This is what she said OF
it to the visitor when he called next
day:
do you call that stuff soup? Why,
all they do is to get a quart of water
and boil it down to a pint to make it
strong" ,
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1905-01-05
ENGLISH HuMOR,

Charles NJ. Pepper, the newspaper
man who was appointed a commits
sioner on the Intercontinental railway
which the main figure is Henry Nor
man, the British journalist. Norman.
visited Washington a few years age.
One evening just before the depar-
ture Of the Britisher it was deter
mined to put up a Joke on him at the
Press club. A Mr.. Decker was select
ed to be the perpetrator. This gen
tleman arose in his seat and, taking
q small bell from his pocket, address
ed Mr.. Norman as follows:
'Sir, I have been designated by my
fellow members to convey to you an
expression of our pleasure. On be-
half of the National Press club of
Washington I am instructed to give
you thing ring"
AS he uttered the word ring Mr..
Decker raped the bell smartly and
placed it upon the table.
1t was plainly to be see that the
Englishman was taken aback. After
q good deal of hemming and having
he replied:
"Mr. Decker and members of the
National Press club, words fail me. l
am overwhelmed. With respect to this
gift, which I am. pleased to receive. I
suppose that Mr.. Decker, as vas only
natural in the embarrassment of the
,nonlent, for we newspaper men are
VIGOROUSLY. poor speakers, has made
a mistake, for he has, as you see,
given me a bell instead of a ring"
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1905-01-05
GLoRIEs OF VAR.

Major. General Corbin con. handing
the department of the east, tells the
following with reference to a member
OF the militia of a northern state talk
ing part in the recent m~anoeuvers
at Manassas:
The %guardsman was one day making
heroic efforts, to get away with his
first ration of army beef. A fellow sol
dier walking near him stopped to
watch. with some amusement. the at
tempt of the northerner to masticate
the meat. whats the matter, Bill?"
asked he.
ooh, nothin' MUCH was the sullen
reply. Then, disgustedly regarding a
piece of the beef that he held in his
hand, the Yankee added:
Nov | know what people mean
when they talk about the sinews of
war;
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1905-01-05
HAY, HAY-DRIEp GRASS.

AS might well be expected, the name
of the present secretary of state is
familiar to nearly all Americans. and
evidence of his claim to a place in
their memories was furnished recent
ly by a little incident that happened
while a farmer, rejoicing in his mono
syllable cognomen, was talking. over
the long distance telephone. "Mr. Hay"
was given as an answer to the FREE
quent telephone question, "Who is
there?" But Mr.. Hay was requested
to repeat his name, and his inter
locutor, failing to catch it again and
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1905-01-05
Masonry and Truth.

In France a man, called as a wit
nes to court, demurred to taking
the oath to tell the whole truth
because it might require him to tell
Masonic secrets. The grand master
of Freemasonry in France has written
to the court stating that there was
nothing in the Masonic oath which
would prevent a witness telling the
whole truth. If anything, the oath
made him a freer man.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1905-01-05
Find skeletons of Miss,no Men.

The skeletons Of fou. MEN who mys-
~teriously disappeared there, between
two days, twenty years ago, have been
discovered in an old water hole near
Quartrite. Ariz. They were on their
way to California and no doubt were
murdered for their money.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1905-01-05
Hey, Dlddle, Diddle.
us fly" urged the Dish

Let us fly" urged the Dish.
"Lawks-a-day!" giggled the spoon.
yielding in sweet confusion. "A'ybody'd
think you was a Loving Cup!"
That is to say, the ancient rhyme re.
lates the fact not otherwise than as it
was, but with an infelicity paucity OF
aetail.-Puck.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1905-01-05
A Coincidence,

Darby was telling a whopper about
a thing he said hs had witnessed.
"Well, sir" he said, Il could hardly
believe my eyes"
"Strange coincidence" BEETLES re-
sponded. II can hardly believe your
tongue."-Brooklyn Eagle.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1905-01-05
The Porch.
When father built the veranda,
He kicked about the expense,
But ma. she said:
Don't mind it, Ed

But ma, she said:
Don't mind it, Ed
Don't think Of dollars and cents"
That autumn Clara was married,
1t made pa, glad. as could be,
And ma would smile
Most all the while.
I'm proud Of that porch" said she
Last summer both Belle and Amy
Would race for the porch at night,
And all the rest
OF us thought best
To stay indoors. cut of sight.
But Belle ran faster han Amy
She got her mar in July;
: And III commend
That porch to send >
A bachelors oath Sky high.
Last Sunday Amy informed us
THAI she mad told Jimmy YES"
And now us three,
Pa. ma, and me,
Can get on that porch. I guess.
Cleveland Leader.