Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1905-09-15
THE HOUSE BEAUTIFUL
How the Mere Man Adopted Very Plausible
Suggestions.

How the Mere Man Adopted Very PlausibI,
Suggestions.
1t occurred recently to the Mere
Man that his particular corner of the
flat might be made to conform more
strictly to the tenets of the Beautiful.
The Mere Man, if left to himself
would never have conceived this idea.
Uninspired, he would have gone on
to the end of the chapter, hanging
half his clothing in his closet and the
other half over the backs of chairs
accumulating his books and papers
first on the table, then on his dresser,
later on the available space. of his
washstand, and finally piling them
in corner, keeping his excess shirts
in a too small box, which no slid
under the washstand, and scattering
his brushes and combs indiscriminate.
ly with his neckties and pajamas.
But one day he picked up a paper
devoted to the interests of women.
This much he knew, because it was so
clearly stated on the first page. He
glanced curiously over advertisements
Tor form moulders, complexion clear
ers and sanitary neither garments,
skinned the Hand. to. Hand Clasp"
column, read line or two from the
pens Of eminent obscurities on the
subject of "How became GREAT"
and finally came to the "How to
Beautify the Home Department"
This the Mere Man read with in
creasing interest.
He learned that it was only neces-
sary to be supplied with an old pillow
and a hundred or 30 cigar ribbons in
order to turn out the prize sofa cush-
ion, that a cOsey corner might be
evolved from soap-box and q few
yards Of colored print, and was fur.
ther informed of many other inexpen.
sive ways OF producing the Beautiful.
Then said the Mere Man: "It q
woman, with her poor, little, abbrev-
lated brain and short-measure ability,
can do these things, what might not
be affected were man to bring bis
mentality to bear upon the subject?"
After which the Mere Man brought
his mentality to bear. "The paper"
he unused, "tells us not to throw
away any article because of its appar-
ent uselessness. It may be we'll for
me to remember that"
Then he made a survey OF the flat.
He eyed the ornaments in the draw
ing-room, the pictures along the hall,
the carpeting Of the BEDROOMS, and
the interior OF the kitchen in q man.
ner to arouse the vague suspicious OF
the cook. He was searching for use.
less things that he might convert to
his new purpose.
Despite the suspicious glances OF the
cook, he walked into her domain. In
the corner by the stove stood row after
row Of bottles-empty bottles. Itmsy
be we'll to state at once that these
bottles had formerly held whiskey,
beer, and, in a few cases, wine. What
had become of their contents has
nothing whatsoever to do with this
tale.
Nellie" said the Mere Man. The
cook was old and weighed nearly two
hundred pounds, but her name was
"Nellie." Did you ever know it to
failf "I shall have to trouble you
for the corks from those bottles"
Nellie withdrew the corks. They
made great pile, and, for convenience,
the Mere Man put them in the punch
bowl, which they quite filled, and dis
appeared into his own room. He had
his first idea. Later he rummaged
around his wife's rooms till he found a
stout darning-needle and some thread.
Under cover of the darkness he slipped
into the bathroom and deposited
something.
In the morning his wife ran to him,
shrieking in terror. "What is that
dreadful thing on the floor OF the
bath?" she cried.
"That, my DEAR" responded the
Mere Man, proudly, els the new cork
bath rug. Imade it myself"
"I stepped on the thing" said his
wife, and it tickled my feet."
"It may have its peculiarities." said
the Mere Man, calmly, "but that is to
be expected when you consider that it
is fashioned OF corks OF many sizes. 1t
is q positive novelty. It keeps the
bather from disagreesble conduct with
the cold tiling, aud it makes use OF
material which would otherwise be
wasted. I shall, from time to time,
surprise you with other utilitarian
devices"
In searching the drawers OF his
dresser, the Mere Man was struck
with the immense accumulation of old
letters. Such as he wished to save he
retained. Others he tore up. As for
the envelopes, be held to them. His
second idea had arrived. "Here," he
reflected, "are many thousands OF
postage stamps. They are Cancelled,
to be sure, therefore have no market
value. Some thoughtless persons
might throw these stamps away. Not
Ii. lean make use OF them."
Each stamp was cut neatly from its
envelope. 1t was laborious process,
] L.k .l,o ,oJo baauti6ar had nakiance