davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
ouAKER REFLECTIONS.

TFrou1 the Philadelphia Record.l
True goodness doesn't consist OF being
a good thirg.
Every rose has its thorn-in fact, ave
or six of them.
No good unless it is kept IN suspense
"a suspension bridge.
The acrobat isn't the only fellow who
should take a tumble to himself
No nran likes to be thrown in the
shade by the shadow Of suspicion
IT'S the good luck of other people that
makes us dissatisfied with our own.
A tair exchange is no robbery, even
when a man trades his money Tor eA-
perience.
The average mans opinion are gen
eraIlv of more value to himself than to
anyone else.
1cell-sI imagine she's an electrical
expert.' Why?" Nell-'She uses
su.h. shocking language.
IsIobbs-"Only a coward would strike
an attitude" SIobbs-"Ho do you
make that out?" Blobbs-"An attitude
can't strike back.
Oidbach-''I always like to read the
Jokes in the Daily Deadone- WigWag-
ssBut the Daily Deadone never prints
any jokes. OIdbach-''It doesn't, Ell?
How about all those marriage notices?'
vvigg-'sOne of those girls eats on
ions and the other doesn't. Now. which
would YOU prefer?" Wagg-"They ale
mi to be mentioned in the same
breath
The truth is mighty.
And 1t must prevail:
B1,t it's mighty Eighty,
With sting in its tan.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
WiIIie's Mistake.

Speaking of the turtles that were
recently found in Jersey, bearing dates
OF nLty and sixty years ago, recalls an
LlIcluenI mat once occurred on the
Iarm Of the late Henry I. Deacon. a
WeIl-to-do and influential resident Of
the land beyond the Delaware.
A youngster, who was fond of roam
ing over the fine, well-kept farm,
round turtle one day and it occurred
date.
Nothing short of the George Wash
ington era. would do. So, taking out
his penknife, the boy inscribed, &c
W., 1875" on the reptiles shell. The
cutting, Of course, looked very modern,
but this was easily remedaed by rub
bing it in mud and polishing it on the
grass.
This done to the satisfaction of the
boy, he rushed to the joliy-faced farm
er, exclaiming:
Look, Mr.. Deacon, I just found a
turtle more than 100 years old with
George Washington's initials on the
she'll"
'Thee has?' said Mr.. Deacon, hold
ing out his hand for the turtle.
Yes, sir, returned the youngster
with very straight face.
The good old farmer glanced at the
reptile just one second, and burst out
into a merry laugh.
Willie, thee darned fool" said he,
that turtle isn't half grown. "-Phila-
delphia telegraph.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
1t served men Rieht.

Courtesy always pays" said Nine.
Rejane, the French actress, to an in
terviewer. "If we are courteous to the
people, they like us and they try to
help US. II we are discourteous to
them, they hate US and oppose US.
1.-TWO women occupied a compart-
ment in railway carriage with one
man, a stranger. They were extreme
~ rude to this man. In whispers that
he could overhear they criticised his
costume, his figure, and his manner.
He, to be TevenEed. did a singular
thing.
The blackness of a tunnel envel-
oped the car. and under cover of the
darkness the man kissed the back of
his hand loudly and repeatedly. Then,
when the train entered the light again,
he looked from one woman to the
other with a significant smile.
They exchanged glances of sus-
picion
Was it you he kissed?'
No. of course not. Was it you 2
And neither lady would believe the
others denial, and each. in her Utmost
heart, was offended to think that the
man had chosen her companion in
stead of herself to kiss. The man
looked cool and complacent. When.
finally, he rose to go, he said, lifting
his hat with a jocular air:
Have no fear, ladies, I shall never
tell which OF you it was
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
JAYHA WKER JOTS

While Judge Benson is waiting for
that vacancy on the supreme bench to
come along, the Ottawa people are
helping all they can by making him
city counsellor.
The jewelers. who are bidding for the
contract to furnish the silver service
for the battleship Kansas have already
received enough free advertising to
make good profit on the deal. And It
doesn't cost them anything to enter.
Bill Allen White rises to inquire
whether Mr. Creech's name is spelled
"Creach" or "Creech.F He thinks it
highly impolite to lick a man whose
name he can't spell, and besides, it is
taking too much liberty with a stranger.
Emporia Gazette: A Topeka preacher
who IS one of the most successful beg
gars for the heather who has ever oc-
cupieO Topeka pulpit, is said to giva
14-course dinners frequently, and to
complain that it is impossible for him
to live on the liberal salary he receives.
The CarnatiOn League is an organi-
cation with headquarters at Dayton, O.,
for the promotion OF patriotism and
fireW orks on the Fourth of July. Moth
ing is SAID about the carnation in the
advertising matter, but the State Jour
nal takes the liberty of nominating
Bent Murdoch as vice president for
Kansas just the same.
Ottawa comes forward this year with
q population of 7,127, which Tom Nor
gan thinks justffies the claim the town
has been making for the last two years
that it has 5000. This is an increase of
800 over five years ago. But why didn't
the Ottawa census taker wait until the
Chautauqua assembly meets before
counting noses?
Charlie Scott thinks the newspaper
profession is getting plutocratic. and Of
fers as evidence William 2. Curtis rid
ing in private car, w Y. Morgan
touring Europe, and F. L Vandegrift
offering 5000 for the Wichita Beacon
Why did moi MI. Scott also include the
editor of tie lola Register taking a
trip to the Philippines?
The Chanute Sun tells of a woman
who goes around among men folks and
sells tickets, each of which purports to
be good for a shoe shine at a local
shoe dealers and she promises to do the
work herself. The tickets go" like hot
cakes and then the lady" goes also
To greener pastures. The Sun asserts
that she took in $50 in one day recently
in southeastern Kansas town.
A Gypsum City boy, Earl Swisher
who is serving in the navy on the Mis-
souri,, writes home that a number of
battleShips recently ran an eight-hour
race. The Missouri beat the Maine by
nine miles, the Kentucky by Is miles.
the Massa chusetts and Alabama by 50
and IS miles respectively. Just wait
till the Kansas gets out on the naval
race track if you are anxious to see
some real speed
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Perhaps you hadn't noticed it. but
the days are getting shorter.
]. G. johnson announces that he is
out of politics. Mr.. johnson appears
to be about four years late in making
the discovery.
A Topeka woman who used to be a
hired girl before, she got married IS
now making a fuss because a young
man whose salary is only SIS a month
has an ambition to become her son-in-
law.
Nearly every girl has longing oc-
casionaliy to slide down the banis-
tiers as her brothers do.
A Topeka young man left last week
for the harvest fields, and his folks are
surprised that the farmers out there
are still calling for men.
People who are above Is, rarely fall
in love al first sight. They have had
too much experience,
There is politician in eastern Kan
sas who is so close that he borrows
other peoples lead pencils solely to
keep from wearing out his own.
Among other 'nuisances, there is the
man who starts a lawn mower in the
next yard at four o'clock a. m. Is the
new nuisance ordinance broad enough
to abate him
How long do you suppose Norway
will remain a grass widow?
Kansas City, you will notice, al
ways has the Blues about her base
ball team.
At last reports. Judge Theodosius
Botkin had not left Salt Lake City for
Mauritius. He was still studying the
geography trying to find where Maui
ritius is
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[Flom the Atchison Go

[FIom the Atchfson Globe
Never bother a groceryman when he
is counting eggs.
Even a man Who gets no salary s
sometimes afraid of his job.
Most of the so-called banquets would
be better described as free lunch.
Another way of turning everybody to
rubber is to walk up the street with
a string OF fish.
We have a good deal to grumble
about. and we grumble more than vs.
should, but this weather suits US ex-
actly.
It is che sign of age if you admit
that the father who thinks his daugh-
ters should be in by ten is acting with
in his rights.
If a woman is a thorough Baptist,
she can imagine no greater cross than
being married to a member of some
other church who viii not be turned.
There isn't any one in the world
who can kick so politely that the kick
is disguised: A kick is one of the few
things that can never be sugar-coated.
It is a mistaken policy for a woman
to wash the supper dishes when by
stacking them she gets out on the
porch that much earlier to nag her
husband into moving the lawn.
LysaDder John Appleton has a very
timid wife. and he figures that her
timidity saves him money. He reads
all the railroad calamities out loud. and
has got her so scared that she wouldn't
travel on d free pass to a family re-
union.
Children may think their parents are
hard-hearted. but do they never realize
that the mother thinks it is the faith
er's place to punish, and the father
thinks is it the mothers, and that
while. each is saying so. the children
usually escape?
The baby cried and cried and cried.
The mother rocked it, then she walked
nembered how, when she vzas ii+tIa
GIRL she used to grow dissatisfied with
her doll because it couldn't crv. and
she began to wonder If. after all neo-
PIE are happy when they get what fhev
want. -S
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
MAYOR JOHNSON or CLEVELAND

In the July number of McCilre's
Magazine Mr.. Lincoln Stefens tells a
few things about the municipal govern
ments of Cleveland and Cincinnati. His
remarks about the former are very
complimentary to Mayor Tom johnson
and his administration, and he also
speaks out in meeting about the late
Senator Hanna
Mayor johnson may be something OF
fanatic along certain lines, but Mr.
Steffens' stery shows that he has some
exceedingly strong points also. For
years he has been denounced as a So
cialist, an anarchist, and an all-around
dangerous man, but these denuncia-
tons doubtless emanated from the gang
that was blocked by him from stealing
additional franchises in Cleveland. Of
course they do not like him.
Mr.. Steffens is uniformly impartial
in his judgment of men, and he is near
" always correct in his estimate of
them. His statements regarding Mayor
johnson and his administration will
therefore carry great weight with fair
minded people who have been inclined
to regard the Cleveland mayor as some
thing of a demagogue.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
HOW ABOUT TH1s2

A great deal Is said by railroad
newspapers about the justice of Kan
sas railroad rates. These papers may
or may not get so much per line for
the truck they write. But here Is
rate on the last car Of paper the Ca
zette shipped from Appleton, Wis. was
A cents a hundred. The same car of
paper shipped to Kansas City from
Appleton, Wis, costs 20 cents per
hundred. The rate from Kansas City
to EmDoria, a distance of one hundred
miles, is cents more than the rate
from Appleton Wis, to Kansas City.
distance of 500 miles. How do you
get over. around or about that mi
guilty ?-Emnoria Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

From the Chicago News.l
Cannibais and politicians live OFF 9TH
er people.
Our idea of well-bred man is one
who never boasts of his dough
Cupid's labor is one Of love; that's
why he can't afford to patronize a tail
or.
Many girl has lost an engagement
ring by washing her hands of a young
man.
Why is it that the average politician
would rather avoid suspicion than in
spire confidence?
Did you ever console yourself with the
thought that some people look happy
because ignorance is bliss?
However, the man who gets married
on Friday will at least have something
to blame il on later in the game.
Old shoes arc thrown after a newly
married couple merely as a reminder
that it's up to them to acquire the art
of lodging.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
AN OPINION on DIPLOMACY.

This paper will back France every
time for diplomacy. It looked for a
were about to mix things, but France
backed up just at the right time to
avert another trouncing. Germany
can lick France, and France knows it.
She did not find it out until a few
years ago, when an army of Germans
sat down on the city limits of Paris
and enjoyed a Dutch lunch while the
Frenchmen in the beleaguered city ate
dogs without the formality of making
them into bologna. Paris don't want
any more dog meat in her menu. She
would rather eat a little crow before
the trouble starts.-Salina Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
HAPpINEss

Happiness Is not in wealth.
.,Ne9 IN greatness, nor in fame;
Not IN power, not in health,
Not in praise nor lack of blaine.
Happiness is but to know
HOW to cherish, how to prize
1n nat which is our own. The glow
That we always fancy lies
On the dear forbidden thing
Never was nor will be there;
FOR the slave and for the king
JOY is but to know or guess
That the treasures they possess
Seem to others rich and rare.
S E KiseF,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
IRON the New York Press.l

Swimming is very good for q girls fg-
ure if it is good to begin with
If 4 hoy is real clever he can acquire
a. lot Of knowledge at school useful to
forget afterward.
The way some women's summer
clothes are made they would look dress
ed up if they fell off.
An old fool is worse than a young
enc because he is as much surer by as
many more years as he has that he
isn't.
In summer a man thinks he is cooling
of when he is drinking whisky and in
winter that he IS freezing to death when
he isn't drinking it
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
NM. MORTON,

It is announced that Paul Morton
proposes to prosecute the heads of the
Equitable " no have misused funds
Surely Mr.. Morton will not forget that
he himself was saved from prosecu-
ton by President Roosevelt, who
found the fault lay With the system,
not with the individual Possibly Mr..
Alexander's and Mr.. Hyde's misdeeds
were attributable to the system, not to
these gentlemen as individuals. Mr.
Morton should be very careful, unless
he wishes to be sungenerous and I'M
Notwithstanding News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
THE IMPORTANT QUESTION.

The question of Colonel A A. Pope's
candidacy for governor on the Demo
cratic ticket this fall turns without
doubt on the extremely practical.
though somewhat prosaic, point or
whether he will put up fund OF $50
600 or whereabouts for expenses.-Bos-
ton Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
A DIFFERENCE m PRICE.

A buffalo bull recently slaughtered
in Iowa brought its owner nearly ST.
600. The head sold for $500. the hide
for $500, and the meat for so cents a
pound. In the year 1877, a drove of
buffalo estimated at 100000 head,
crossed the North Platte river in Ne
braska, and were worth 81 apiece
for the poachers who exterminated
them for their hides.-Parsons Eclipse.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
THE ROOsEvELTIAN WAY.

Governor FOLK said the other day
that 'it is just as patriotic to live for
ones country as to die for it, and
that FOR every government destroyed
by war, twenty fall through corruption
in time of peace Governor Folk has
the Rooseveltian way Of picking out
simple truths and driving them home
to the people.-Iola Register.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26

The lola Register is extremely anxious
that an experiment with oiled roads
shall be made in Allen county. Why
does not some enterprising oil belt town
make a thorough experiment along that
line? If oiled roads prove a success in
Kansas a tremendous market viii be
onened for low grade oils
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
HOAlE NEWs WHTIE AWAY.

Subscribers Of the State journal
away during the summer may hay e
the paper mailed regularly each day
20 any address ut the rate of thirty
cents a month. Address changed as
often as desired. While out of town
the State Journal viii be to you like
q daily letter from home.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26

between the postoffice. department and
the Continental Financing company
there is need Of some gentleman with
the general build, color OF eyes ana
persistent methods oS Mr.. Bristow-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26

The state board of railroad commits
Hioners has decided that it has no iuris-
diction over Pullman cars. It is to be
hoped that the commissioners will not
discover that they have no jurisdiction
over railroad cars.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26

Now we know what the president and
Mr. Stubs talked about during those
four days the latter spent in Washing
ton Bent Murdoch let the cat out.
Mr., Stubs is figuring on digging the
Panama canal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26

"rhe rurnor that Wall Street is think
ing Of moving into Kansas where the
money is. is probably premature saws
the Philadelphia Inquirer Never mind.
AZ will come in time. Just wait till we
get our wheat harvested.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26

New York is watching carefully lust
now for the wings that are supposed to
be sprouting in the neighborhood Of Mr..
Morton's shoulders since the presidents
letter to him was made public
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
STRANGE WOMEN.

In Japan it is the height of bad
form for a woman to express an opin-
ion contrary to that of her husband.
Wonderful people!-M Minneapolis Jour-
nal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
FRON OTHER PENS
REACHES PRETTY FAR.

Somebody has figured out that if
ROckefellers money was in dollar bills
laid end to end it would reach around
the globe and have eight miles left
over for a bowknot. In the mean
time it is not in dollar bills, but it is
doing some tall reaching in this coun-
try.-Duluth Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
ROUGH TREATMENT.

Hutchinson young man who has
been very attentive to a. certain girl
this morning found in his mail a bill
from the girls father for SIS for par
Tor rent. The young man says he
doesn't like the treatment and will get
a new girl-Hutchinson Bee.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
THAT'S WHAT.

What would happen asks an es-
teemed contemporary, 'fif every one
told the truth for twenty-four hours %
One OF the things that would happen
would probably be the suspension for
twenty-four hours of some esteemed
contemporaries Courier
Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26

The Marion Record says "OrIey Bill
ings has concluded not to accept the
private seeretaryship to the governor.
and we are all glad Of it.
We are mighty glad he turned down the
Topeka job" Now the question is. was
it E. ". Hoeh as governor or E. ".
Hoeh as editor Of the Record who is
glad of It?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
DANGERs OF RIDING.

Running a mile in forty-four sec
Onds is going some on a railroad. It is
almost hair-raising to think of it, and
yet it is less dangerous than riding a
Mexican pony. - Memphis News
Scimitar.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26

If Russia had a navy that would
float an army that would fight and a
government that would govern, she
might in time become a great world
power.-Louisville Evening Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26

Reports from the wheat belt indicate
that the farmers were just soaring US a
little three or four weeks ago when
they said the wheat crop was not of
Inuch ACCOUNT
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26

Mr.. Bowen wrote a letter to secre-
dary Taft beginning my Dear Bill %
and he got fred. This dear bill business
doesn't seem to be a very good thing.
Assistant Secretary LOOMS had one
down in Venezuela which did not re-
dound to his credit.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
No AJIMONY ASKED.

Incompatibility of temper seems. to
be the principal cause for divorce De-
appears to be no serious scandal IN the
proceedings Evening Post
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
Why He Quarreled.

One Madgett, of Augusta, Ga, has
petitioned for divorce. His spouse and
he have, ayers Madgett, qUarreled g.
over 400 times a year. More than one
quarrel a day, therefore. varied the
hUmdrum course of this couples mar
ried life. Madgett kept strict register
of every row. He gives the causes of
c,1Iarrels as follows:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
A sUNFLOWER IIMERICK.

There was a young Jap maid from
Nippon,
Who had no good chair to sitton.
She bought a high stool
And said: what a fool
It's the best thing I ever have hilton.
Winfield Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26

Now there IS a diplomatic war on be-
tween the boss busters and the boss
buster-busters. The latter, who are mad
at Governor Hoch, are coaching ]. B.
Creech 1or governor in 1906, while the
former are trying to run the Creech boom
in on a sidetrack to be held until 1908.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
KAMSA.S COMAENT
STUDIES WILI DC TT.

Bent Murdoch says that W. r.
Stubbs, who is in Washington, and
who has called on the president once
or twice, is gCing to build the Panama
canal. There is no doubt that Stubs
could build it If the president wanted
him to.-Iola Register.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26
SHE FOUND IT.

A St. Petersburg newspaper says that
Russia, hemmed in on the west, must
eventually break through all barriers
and seek warm waters in the east
There is no doubt that she has recent
~ got into some very hot water in that
direction.-Washing Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26

Il am determined" says Mavor
Weaver, Ito turn every rascal OUT
Which makes 1t look as though there is
10 be almost complete Change of pub
lie officials in Philadelphia.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26

The New York World has already
fired Paul Morton as chairman Of the
Equitable. Its action has not yet been
ratified by Mr.. Ryan. however, and as
Mr.. Ryan happens to own the Equit-
able, Mr.. Morton is still drawing his
salary and eating three meals a day.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26

1t has been authoritatively declared
that Chicago water is unsafe for drink
ing purposes. Milwaukee could have
told Chicago that long ago.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26

Russia isn't running for peace: She
ls only a receptive candidate. And she
as not even sure about being in the
hands Of her friends.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26

You should be thankful if Britisher
tells you you are no gentleman" 1t
has just been decided in England that
q man who works for his living is not
a gentleman" An American ought to
be ashamed If he doesn't work for
living
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-26

If worse comes to worst Linevitch
still has something over three thousand
miles Of open country in Siberia that he
can fall back to.