The San Francisco call., 1905-05-13

BY JAMES G. CRAWFORD.
James Snow, tall, slim, shaky-kneed
and sable Of skin, ascribed his unen-
viable situation to the love gods per-
verse tyranny For while he sighed his
heart out in unrequited alteration OF
one dusky belle another colored maiden
was just as vainly angling for re-
sponsive soul-thrill on his part.
EFT am eh mos distressin' kindishun
OBJ circumstances" Mr.. Snow declared
in. presence of Police Judge Mogan. be-
fore whom he stood, charged with
having disturbed the peace that is SO
unfrequently routed from the intersec-
ton of Broadway and Montgomery av-
enue.
1T is a rather unfortunate. but by
no means unusual, state Of affairs"
his Honor acquiesced.
"Yeh see, Jedge," Mr.. Snow rel joined,
"ah doan lax teh be pestahed wifi de
'feckshuns OBJ eh gal wot ah respeck
but KANT lub. Et sho am distrackin'
teh be follahed en- fused obah by eh
pusson wot yo' KANT kaih TO-"
May be the young lady upon whom
you are wasting your affection also
dislikes being 'pestered' by an unwel-
come suitor," the court suggested.
EFF she am Use sorry TO 'er, out ah
jes' KANT help ct. All tries en- tries
teh git dat gal off'n nah mine, but
cts no use. She's dab teh stay. Aid
lax teh know wot'd be de bes' ting
teh do ehbout TT
''We'I have the two ladies summoned
to appear here next Tuesday, said
the Judge, and then a way out of
your predicament may suggest it
self"
Thank yo' Honnah," gratefully
murmured Mr.. Snow.
He was arrested by Patrolman I.
O'Connell, who discovered him in the
act of loudly and bitterly declaiming
against cupids injustice and thus con-
veying amusement to concourse of
mixed nationalities. By occupation he
is gambling man.
Mrs Mary Fitzgerald, Mrs Maggie
Tompkins and Mrs. May Stewart, all
middle-aged and displaying facial
damage, were arrested by Patrolman
Cullinan, who informed Judge Fritz
that he found them engaged in battle
royal on Howard street, between Third
and Fourth. Then it developed that
last Monday they were released from
the County Jail, where they had served
different terms for the single offense
of drunkenness, and that their inter-
acquaintance formed in the prison
ripened into friendship after their
liberation but that ON Thursday the
triple alliance was severed by an arg,l-
ment as to which of the four Police
Judges was most entitled to the es-
TEEN of ladies arrested and arraigned
for inebriety. Each of the disputants
had a favorite magistrate, his Honor
Mogan being the only one of the ju-
dicial quartet who was not cham
xafn rrrln
rived at the place of discussion oral
advocacy had given way to flstic sua-
sion.
Casualties-Mrs. Fitzgerald, black
ened eye: Mrs. Tompkins, lacerated
lip; Mrs. Stewart, swollen ear.
Il think" said the Judge. that it
would be unwise to have you ladies re-
leased simultaneously again. and 70
obviate such disaster 1 shall sentence
Mrs. Fitzgerald to thirty days, Mrs.
Tompkins to twenty days and Mrs
Stewart to ten days in the County
Prison"
Endeavor TO find out If Judge Fritz
was Mrs. Stewards favorite in the de-
bate proved futile. for the lady de-
clined to be interviewed.
Attorney George D. Collins, of mixed
marital notoriety, appeared before
bail of Jules Ziegner Uriburu, alleged
pilferer of funds intrusted to his keep
ing by Prima Donna Tetrazzini, be re-
duced to a sum that would enable him
to regain freedom pending disposal of
the charge. There was nothing in
either the face or the demeanor of Mr..
Collins to indicate that he was
harassed by domestic unpleasantness.
He argued most earnestly in behalf of
I'M fod TTr;1
Judge promised to consider his plea
and respond to it next Monday
Seventeen-year-o Mary Thomas
employed in a Market-street clothing
store, was being escorted to her home
last Thursday evening by John c.
Ehlers, "a good looking young fellow
who works in the same establishment.
and at Jackson and Stockton streets
Lee Chow. an Americanized Chinese,
impudently thrust his face into that of
the young lady and whispered an Of
fensive remark. He was promptly
knocked down by Mr.. Ehlers, but had
regained his feet and was fighting
back when Patrolmen Wren and
Kramer arrested both combatants for
disturbing the peace.
When the girl blushingly told her
story to Judge Mogan he dismissed her
champion ana OrQered that Lee Chow
be held in custody for sentence to-day.
Lee averred that Miss Thomas invited
his attention by smiling at him. but
she Indignantly denied having done so,
and her manner of uttering the denial
carried conviction.
So correctly Caucasian was Lee
Chow's tout ensemble, even to the alb
sence of a queue, that Bailiff Mahoney
mistook him for Japanese and called
the official interpreter of that language
to assist In the defense. When the
error was discovered and a Chinese
interpreter substituted. Lee Chow
broke into English of almost fiawIess
purity.
Pierre Lassus, butcher. was skin
ming calf in his shop at South San
Francisco when John Mccarthy pro-
nounced him bungler. whereupon
Pierre struck John and was imme-
diately prostrated by blow from that
gentleman's right fist.
I'm 65 years of age" said John to
Judge Fritz, but I can go some yet.