The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-09-03
Home Run Haggerty
BY GEORGE WILLIAM DALEY.

4 WENT 10 a National league game
the other day and the pitcher on
one team cert'nly had il on the
other bunch No matter how he passed
'em in, slow or fast. no one could get
one safe on him. OF course, his hackers
went crazy with excitement, and just
after he struck the side one in one IN
ming a big guy jumps M and yeiis:
''That-a boy. Amesey. Put the Indian
sign onto 'eml"
Now will any boy in the class who
knows what the Indian sign is raise
his hand? I thought so. Nobody
knows. Well, I'll tell you. II is a
cross-eyed Indian pitcher. Whenever
a team gets uD 20 the bat and sropes
for the BAH and swiDes low at high
ones and high at low ones and lodges
from outshoOts, they are like the IA
nous Alfalfas were the time they went
up against Solarplexus, Tim McGinnis'
Indian tWirler, with the twisted lamps
That is why they call il the Indian
sign.
And il wasn't because he was an IN
dian. or because he had big curves OF
tremendous speed, or tOed or filled up
on fire water on his day off. 1t wasn't
none Of these. II was because be was
Cross eyed-nOthing mCte or less than
that. When he got in front of you
in the box and raised his arm YOU fol-
lowed the gaze OF one of his eyes to
the left field bleachers ana The other
son1ewheres around, the right field foul
flag And then he'd raise his arm ana
swing around, and one lamp would be
glued on the second baseman and the
other one on the grandstand, with it's
breathless thousands. And just as you
had made up your mind that the red
devil had two baseballs in each hand
and was going TO throw one handful at
the first baseman and the other hand
full at a guy he didn't like back of third
base his arm would come over and a
white streak would shoot across the
plate and the umpire would saw
STRIKE Onel' Just three o. those
would send you back to the bench with
a headache.
Solarplexus strung US through two
games of an important series and We
didn't get hit or run in either Then
little old Pinch Hobbs. the greatest
shortstop that ever lived. he stayed
up all night one night and thought out
the scheme that brought us back to
earth. I woke up about O'Clock in the
morning and found him painting a pair
of blue specs that Hennessy used when
ne played the sun in left field In Clover
In two o. the hOrriblest crossest eyes
you ever looked at. Talk about your
tangled lockers,
'Hag." says Pinch. Il have got the
little game that beats this abOTigine TO
one short frizzIe."
The wot?" says l.
The game that puts the child O the
plains, this natures nObleman with the
nOn-suited focus, on the edge"
A. Z
slaughter him with a BATE"
Never" says Pinch. But Wen just
apply the we'll known principle that
like cures like. When you git poisoned
you take more poison for nanny goat
Il think that's the word. Wen you
get diphtheria they squirt a lot o. the
same germs you got into your skin 10
counteract EN-. Now, when you're up
against that cross-eyed guy sling cross
eyedness right back at him"
How'll YOU do that ?" says l.
by weaFin' these glasses here w'ich
are somethin artistic. Wen you gel
these on the cross-eyed guy won't know
whether you're lOOktn' at him any more
than you know whether he's lOOkin' at
YOU or way down in old Indiana. / tell
you, it's great scheme. Dog eat dog.
When Greek meets Greek, then comes
the tug of war
SOUNDS nice, SAYS !, but how YOU
goin' TO see through these here painted
specs? How would you dodge if BE
passed you a nshoOt against your
ear?"
Pinch fixed that by cutting a hole i'm
the middle of each glass with Reggie S
diamond, an when ne trotted TO the
bat i'm the first innin' that da- an
SolarpleZus seen them phOny lamps
turned on him he was the most lost
loOkin guy YOU ever see. He throw ed
one ball at first base an another on
the ground at Pinch's feet, an another
near killed the Alfalfa Citizens baseball
reported in the grandstand. Pinch got
four balls an give the glasses to sam
Merritt, who batted second. Sam stung
one that came within reach foE a
double Pete Brown got base on
balls, an put on the phony lamps an
cracked one over the fence. Wen we'd
got nine runs McGinnis hauls his find
out an SOlarpleNus went 10 the stable
frOjhin' at the mouth.
That killed him and he took the booze
route, for all the clubs in the league
batted against him with cross-eyed
lamps That was easy. He gave us
some trouble, but We solved him. The