Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-06-01

ect a drink that is appropriate for any
stage of a campaign. When the nom
aaiJonS are first made you are not ex.
:itm and beer and cheese sandwiches
Seep 10 ut the case. A little later,
Sken the orators begin to come out
hfo the open and shake their hair, you
AXE corktails and your eyes begin to
resemble those of a Gagged rat, and you
are ready to quarrel with an opponent.
The next stage in the campaign is the
whisky stage, and when you have got
2le.ziy OF it the campaign may be said
10 be. open. and you wear black eyes
and lose your teeth, and you
swear strange oaths and smell OF
EerIsene, and only sleep in the morn
Ing Then election comes and IL your
tide wins you drink all kinds OF things
ut once for a week, shout hoarsely and
then sD 10 the Kelley cure. but II your
party loses you stay home and take
.ouExe of treatment for nervous pros
irafia0 and say you will never mix up
In axs,ther campaign.
EEere in France 1t is different. The
people have nervous prostration to
start ON, start campaign on cham
payne, wind up on absinthe. and after
the VOTES are counted go to an insane
asylum I do not know what first got
End 20 drink absinthe and don't know
whaf 1t is, but 1t looks like soap suds
tastes like seed cookies and smells like
VerMlrugc. But 1t gets there just the
same and the result Of drinking 1t Is
aAont the same as the result of drink
ing anything in France-it makes you
WaRl GO hug somebody.
nj laome when q man get full on
whisky, he wants 10 hug the man he
drinks with and weep on his collar,
and sAen hit him on the head with
t5Otfle: but here every kind Of drink
quiz the ,drinkcr In condition to want
tn hQx- Dad says he never knew he
hx6i 4 brain until he learned to drink
akSiAtAe, but now he can close his eyes
ana see things worse than any mince
pic nightmare, and when we go out
AEu9ng people he never sees a man at
all, but when a woman passes along.
dna,s eyes begin to take turns wink
ing. at them and II Is all can do to
HecY him from proposing marriage to
svCEY woman he sees.
4 ehought | would break him of this
wnRaA2 fOolishless, so l told everybody
dad uas n Mormon bishop, and had a
grand palace at Salt Lake City, and
owned millions OF gold mines and tab
ern1xies and wanted to marry a thous-
and women and take them to Utah and
plase them ut the head of homes of
their oWn, and he would just call once
or tnZice q week and leave bags of gold
Cur bis wives to spend. A newspaper
repurfer, that could talk English, wrote
q pfece for 4 paper about dad wanting
Co NEATLY q whole lot and he said life
In utnh was better than Turkish har-
ern- czI8e the wives Of Mormon bish-
mn did not have to be locked up and
wztcAed by unix. but could fiirt and
blow IN money and 60 out to dances
and have just as much fun as though
fhey lived in Newport, and had got
tlfsDn7es from millionaires, and he said
eux. urnEn who wanted 10 marry q
NEurrsoa bishop could meet dad on the
nuIiTtnrd near q certain monument. on
. ezEfzin day.
Euzs on to II, with the reporter. and
,ur hirsd q carriage and went to the
buIhrzrd. just at the time the news
many said and put big red badge on
dad,s breast, with the VOID bishop on