The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-02-09

had bluffed him on a pair of tens.
It's good to feel thus. OF what use
is money if you are afraid your first
wife is on your trail and liable to over
haul you at any mint and take you
back home to live with her?
Git Along is d conservative town,
and it took the people some time to
warm up to me. When they was sat
isfied that my heart was pure and my
principles copper-fastened they gave
me their confidence and encouraged
me with their patronage.
1 was tOOlin' along in a comfortable
manner when a critter who called his
self Pilgrim Pete arrived in town. He
had glass cutters and can-openers for
sale, and to all buyers he presented
a bottle of what he called his Elixir.
When ne found me doin' a rushin'
bfzness his heart was flied with envy,
and he stood up on a bar'I and begun
to talk agin my reputashun and my
Alleviator.
The people soon began to look ser
ious and to believe in him, and
saw that somethin' must be did. The
mayor of the town was a CROSSE eyed
man with a tape-Worm of fifteen years
standin'. called him aside and had
a brief convershun with him. When
you have got the long green you don't
have to talk all day with a feller-man
to convince him that you are in the
right.
The mayor announced that he would
make a test of the Elixir and my Al
leviator and decide which was the
genuine article. Standin' up on a box
he did so, givin' each remedy ten
ninits to get in its work on the tape
worm. He tried the Elixir first, and
announced that he hadn't been SO
stirred up in ten years, and that he
believed one bottle would kill a horse.
AS for my Allevator it soothed and
Gained him at once, and he ordered
three bottles right away: The people
of the town had confidence in the
mayor, and when his decision had been
made they fell upon Pilgrim Pete and
ran him out of town and two miles
beyond. When I travelled over the
same road a day later I found it
strewed with can-openers and glass
cutters and busted hopes
The public should take notice that
my AIleviator stands on it's own rec
ord. never have to advertise it or
paw any one for recommending it. The
five-dollar bill I slipped into the may
or's hand was for the foundin' OF an
orphan asylum in his town. am no
st. Louis alderman.
= IN due time [ headed for the strug-
glfn' and ambisllus town OF Buzzard's
Roost but had not reached it's con-
fines vet when I encountered an old
man of oily countenance and slippery
elm tongue. When he smiled it SEEM
ed like the clearing up of a June show
err When we had given each other
greetin' and traded chaws of tobacco
he said;
from afar. but I'm goin' around and
doin' all the good I can jest the same.
Pack here a few miles is a lone wild
der woman who signs for seal skin
sacque and a diamond bangle and will
not be content without. I would like
to make her rejoice and be glad, and
to realize that the world is not as cold
and stingy as she believes Wouidst
aid me in the good cause?'
s.Truly, 1 will" I answered That
is / will donate bottle of my Pilgrim
Pain Alleviator After takin' it accord
in, to directions she will feel as rich as
Oneen Victoria and try to lord it over
the hull county. In conpoundln TINS
remedy I had wilder women IN mind.
ssYo1Ir Alleviator is no doubt a grand
+I,inp.'' saws the old man after wrig-
slim around for q spell. but its effects
cannot be Iastin'. 1t may be that IN
1TrI1r- travels around you have helped
to lift feller-beln' up py means oI Tue
game of polxer?" -. >,
Ion this occashun, should you lose
aysxs money it will safely be deposited
i11--t11e hands of the wilder. Should
lose any will give you her address
and eynect you to leave the amount IN
IN most instances I look upon the
parne of poker as sin and snare, |
31,t where a poor wilder woman IS !
sighin' for seal skins 1t IS a dlIterene
matter. It seemed a sort or duty 10
raf down from my wagon ana spread
: hlanlxet on the grass and begin TO /
sb,1ffae the keerds, and it wasn't five
Tairits before I found my enthusiasm
risin'. 1890. l.,
innerrent. and gui1eless, but when he |
had held straights and tiushes and |
threes and raked in half dozen pots I /
began to suspect that he was not wnas
he seemed. I braced up, but it was or
no use. He won $40 from me in less n
an hour. and 1 was still losin' when I /
bethought me Of my Pain Alleviator.