The Bowbells tribune. [volume] (Bowbells, Ward Co., N.D.) 1899-1969, 1905-09-01


If the .lunatic asylums should ever get
all that is coming to them, we would
have fewer self-styled reformers in the
land. s..-.. ....
To finally adjust the matter and file
it away as a closed incident, Sweden
should sue Norway for. divorce on the
ground of desertion. :'-
=. IL:
A Patterson man points to the recent
eclipse of the moon as conclusive evi-
dence that his Farmers Almanac is
correct in it's predictions. q;
The news of the birth of fourteen
pound baby to Macroom woman named
Salmon is dubbed a remarkable fish
story" by one of our exchanges.
The Japs have raised seventy Rus
sian warships and added them to their
navy. Brittania may soon have to take
down her "Rules the Wave" sign.
The Wisconsin Democracy has NOM
mated William Jennings Bryan for pres
ident in 1908, and is now standing with
it's hand to its ear listening for second.
A highwayman and beef trust mag
nate clinched on Chicago street few
nights ago. Public opinion is about
equally divided as to which tried to rob
the other.
Carrie Nation says that Gov. Folk of
Missouri is lobster. The governors s
opinion of Carrie has not been made
public, and, in the interest of morality,
may not be.
'If YOU can't boost, don't use your
tongue as a hammer, )" is the very good
advice offered by a pretty good ex-
change printed in a fairly good town
oSer on the slope. .,,.. -...s.
The rooster cackles and crows, not
because he laid the egg, but because OF
his boundless conceit. Pipe the Bow
bells roosters, of whom we have few
such as they are.
A Des Moines paper attributes the
blowing up of soda fountain to the
fact that a lady had just taken3a drink
and had it, charged. Wouldn't that re-
tard your fizzical growth?
Miss Susan B. Anthony has reached
the age of IS years without experienc-
ing the pleasure of sitting up late wait
ing to hear the FOOTBALLS of husband
with an ,impediment in his gait.
p
Tom Lawson says he will make no
more public speeches this year. His
late experience in setting the west on
fire seems to have aroused him to the
danger of his .inaamnlatory utterances.
."Let us go back to nature, dear sis
ters,"', said woman lecturer before a
New York :woman's club, forgetting
for the moment that the law might step
in and chase them back into proper
attire.
|, An Iowa minister has started new
sect which he calls the Christian Golf
ists.'* The next few moves on the fad
board may give us the Holy High -Fivers,
Paradisian Poloists, Pious Pokerists,
ETC., etc. s se. a 4
stWhere are we to look for Democratic
presidential timber?" asks a Texas
paper. Any old stick that will not
warp before election will answer. 1t
would, then be cast aside into the grow
ing has-been pile.
"A man who recently looked over Ken
mare with view Of establishing a soap
factory there, has abandoned the pro-
ject on the plea that the local demand
for the saponaceous product in that
town is too small.
f An exchange asseverates that every
country editor is possessed .of q heart
as h big as the delinquent subscription
list he, carries. # this be true, the
other internal organs in the midst OF
some editors must be working in dread
fully crowded quarters: ...... 81. !:
n, 3s; 4: ~ .''i;.$ / q. .5.. u.
A t'tuberculo isis fete "iis the latest at
Newport, and the w ashingt ton Post
Efna1sE III Il NAV ha ollOXed e hv anneYldi-