Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1905-03-18
A BRUTE OF A MAN.

balu Lne man Win the square chin.
What the men folks may think Of
him'll perhaps be some different, but
they won't express their views, any
how.
"The man, being on Uncle Sans
wage list in the $1400-a-year class,
isn't exactly able to perceive where
he and his wife break into the pink
tea bunch. That is to say, ne hasn't
social aspirations to cause him to stop
paying his grocery bills or to induce
him to lie awake o. nights wondering
how he's going to beg or bride some
pin-headed legation attache TO lend
him distinction by honoring his roof
He doesn't see where this kind of
lay is at all necessary to his happi-
ness or peace of mind. But his wife
during the past six months-or since
my friend, the emery man, got his pay
raised from $1,000 to 81, 400-has been
fiz-gigging around on the outskirts of
the pink tea gang, trying to wriggle
in through the medium of a samovar
tea served in a SLAB set of Dresden.
Now, my pal, the mean man, puts
in a pretty fair days work for his gov
eminent wages, and when he gets
home from work he likes to sit down
to a proper meal of victuals, with his
family around the board, and the
cat washing herself before the base
ment latrobe.
when his wife got her afternoon
at home thing into commission, how
ever, he got his instructions to sneak
into his home by the basement route,
and to keep himself slowed there until
such time as his wife, upstairs in
her reception room'-they pay $3.50
a month rent-got through talking.
1T was up to my chum the mean
man, to sit down there in the base
ment, munching on his nails and tight
ening up his belt, and longing for
grub, until the last of the at-homers
had let up on the samovar tea and
gone home to dig up the cold pork
chop in the icebox wherewith to make
dinner-for the at-homers never sit
down to square, hot meal, ysee.
We'll, Jim-that's my pal, the mean
man-stood for this end of it till last
week, and then sedition and blood-red
revolt took possession of him.
He couldn't figure 1t out where he
cut in on that proposition, with the
talkfest going on upstairs about the
good, the true and the beautiful on his
wife's afternoons at home, while he,
hungry to the soul of him, had to hang
around the basement reading the pa
per down to the lost and found ads,
until about 1880 o'clock, when his WIS.,
'ud release the nine-dollar- month
maid from upstairs duty and let her
take off her maids cap and slope be-
low to prepare something to eat. AS
say, this is what got Jim a-going.
He made up his mind he was going to
be It; and he made it stick; and
that's the reason he's the meanest
nan in Washington, maybe.
Jim got home on time-five O'Clock
on Wednesday afternoon last-his
wife's at-home day. He had some
bundles under his arm. In one of the
brown paper packages was a big ten
derloin steak. In another were about
dozen or so nlce, big, juicy Bermuda
onions.
Jim raked the kitchen fire over as
soon as he got in by the basement
route, took off his coat, set the cof-
fee pot on the stove, and started to
get his own supper.
within about quarter of an hour
he had about as nice a looking mess
- Oh IL nd
onions under way as he ever saw
He didn't open the rear kitchen door,
either, to let the onion smell sneak out
that way Jim was on the level. He
wasn't trying to put up any bluffs,
and he wanted the savory smell OF
those frying onions to make itself at
home throughout the house
"Then he set the dining-room table,
not neglecting to fix places for his
two little boys, who were kept up
stairs huddled out of sight on these
at home days.
when the meal was smoking on the
table, Jim, with his hair tousled and
his face steaming, made the best of
his way up the basement stairs through
the powerful and appalling aroma or
fried onions, and, standing at the foot
of the stairs leading to the second
floor, yelled to his two boys:
"'Hey, there, Dick, and you, Bob,
come on down to your dinner!'
"Then he went to the door of the
reception room and did a fine bit of
acting-pretending that he felt all
kinds of dismay and embarrassment
over showing up that way. He
says that the glare he got from his
wife came near whiting him; but Jim's
no gutter, and he stayed with the
game.
"'My dear said he to his wife, I'm
Just about due to make hit with you
all right---I've cooked up big batch
of beefsteak and onions. that you're
so fond of, and what you'll do to it'll
be a plenty. But you are busy, l
see. Well, I'll put yours in place
In the oven