Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1905-08-25
Humorous

you saw in me to admire? She-Oh,
saw.-Life.
Gracye-Maude asked George to kiss
her. Gladys-Well, l like her cheek!
Gracye-So did George.-Louisville
Courler-Journal.
Don't know her? Why, she lives
in the same square with you" Eyes,
but she's not in the same clrcle."-
Cleveland Leader.
Miss Pert-Which half is 1t that
doesn't know how the other half livesf
Miss Caustique-The better half
Philadelphia Record.
Judge-In give you thirty days In
Jail. Prisoner-Good! My wife will
be through cleaning house when | get
out.-Kansas City Times.
Brother-You can't think how nerv-
Gus l was when l proposed. Sister
You can't think how nervous she was
until you did.-Town and Country.
Jack-Why do you girls spend so
much time and money on dress? Nell
(candidly)-To interest the men and
worry other girls.-Philadelphla Press.
She-Freddie and Clara are engaged,
but they have decided to keep their
engagement a secret. Clara told me
so. He-Yes, | know. Freddie told
me.-Pick-Me-Up.
"Waiter, these are mighty small
oysters" Eyes, sir" "And they don't
appeal to be very fresh, either" Then
it's lucky they're small, amt it, STRIP
Cleveland Leader.
Nell-Mr. Kammerer is so kind. He
said l took a very pretty and very
artistic picture. Belle-Indeed? And
whose picture did you take, dear?-
Philadelphia Ledger.
Don't you ever go to school, jim
mie?" "Well, yer see, it's dis way,
kid-ma gives me a nickel a week ter
go to school an de teacher gives me a
dime ter stay away.-Judge.
She-I have a new milliner, Jack.
Don't you think my hats are more be-
coming than they used to be? He
Yes; and your bills are becoming more
than they used to be.-New York Mail.
Charles, have you ever considered
going into any business?" Nav. The
governor wanted me to last yeah, but
[ told him, dontcherknow, 1t was
enough to have one tradesman in the
family."-Puck.
The Boss-I'm afraid you are not
qualified for the position; you don't
c know anything about my business.
The Applicant-Don't l, though? 1
l keep company with your typewriter.
Chicago Journal.
Stage manager Interviewing chill
dren with the idea of engaging them
for a new play)-Has this child been
on the stage? Proud mother-No;
=, but he's been on an inquest, and he
speaks up fne!-Punch.
, Physician docking into his anteroom,
where a number of his patients are
=, waiting)-Who has been waiting the
longest?" Tailor-(who has called to
present his bill-I have, doctor; | de-
livered the clothes to you three years
ago.-Glasgow Evening Times.
Mrs. Brickrow-How do you man
{ age to persuade your husband to buy
| you such expensive bonnets? Mrs.
Tophatte-I take him shopping with
) me, walk him around until he can't
stand, and then wind up in a bonnet
r store. He'll buy anything to get home.
/, New York Weekly.
, Lecturer on the French Revolution
1t is impossible to imagine the chaos
that reigned-confuslon and anarchy
everywhere. In our more peaceful con-
ditions we cannot even imagine such
a state of things. Mar at the back Of
the hall-Yes, we can, mister. Come
up to our house; we're movin'.-Pick-
Me-Up. .'
Yes" said he, letting her out an
other notch beyond the speed limit,
1.-THE automobile has come to stay"
Then the machine slowed down, gave a
shudder or two and a dry, rasping
cough, and stopped. You were right
said his guest n few hours later as
they trudged YEARLY into town.
Houston Post.
A Western paper tells Of a confused
clerk who, asked by a young lady for
a certain number Of yards Of muslin,
looked at the cloth for Il minute, mean
} while fumbling for the end. Finally
, he said dlsgustedly, "Dick must have
sold both ends Of this: yes, I'm ure
t he did" And with that he pushed
! his shears across the piece, and from
J the end thus made sold the quantity
desired.
One day in a crowded street car,
Rabbi Hirsch; Of Chicago, got up to