The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-03-26

Great heavens, Knocl1er. How you
talk. n strike like that last for a
year?" demanded Redface. why, my
dear fellow, do you realize what that
would mean? The discomfort of pretty
nearly 100000 people, idleness, power
ty and distress, possibly starvation for
thousands"
"Oh. tushi You talk as if these things
We're not desirable retOrted the
Knocker. "Anybody'd think TO hear
you go on that discomfort was an evil
instead of d blessing; that there was no
virtue in idleneSS; that poverty and
distress and possibly starvation were
not an incentive to higher aspiration
and a greater effort so achieve some
thing worth while. It's funny how the
philosophy OF so many people in this
world is based upon ease and COM
fort; how the smooth running of things
IS the measure Of their excellence. Cad,
II everybody from the beginning Of
time had acted on that principle we'd
every one of us have been living III
caves yet, operating along lines of least
resistance and in the highest stages Of
our development apprOXimating perfect
lOafers. There are times, Redface,
when I am ashamed OF you Better
take five highballs and a dipper Of
CoEnac, and tone your mind up a bit
That's all right laughed KedfaCe.
81 had the highballs before breakfast.
and I'll tackle the cOgnac as soon as
I've polished off couple Of rickies and
the martins Bolivar owes me. But
promise YOU that even then I shall fail
to perceive the value of a strike that
makes IL almost impossible for 100000
people to get TO business. that throws
1000 employees out of a warm subway
onto the cold street and makes a whole
city appTehensive of its lives"
"Of course you won't" said the
Kuocker. and for the precise reason
that ! have indicated. Your notions of
what is right and proper are based en-
tirely upon conditions of ease and COM
fort IF YOU had your way business
would come to man and not man go to
business. It's fellows like you who
can't understand why it isn't possible
for every man in town to have little
private subway Of his own connecting
his breakfast table with his office. But
I tell you, Redface, that this thing that
happened over in little old New York
Is "A blessing in disguise, you chaps TO
the contrary Notwithstanding. In the
first place, we Americans and especial
" the New Yorker. don't walk as much
as we ought to to keep ourselves in fit
condition. The minute we leave our
homes we make bee line for some
kind OF a conveyance that will carry Us
downtown. The millionaire his auto
mobile. the clerk and bOOkkeeper- the
surface cars or rapid transit lines; the
office boy the hitch behind on the end of
a truck. or step of an ice wagon. 1t
ride. ride. ride. all the time with the
result that 90 per cent of US have in
digestion and the other 10 per cent are
so Wabbly about the legs that when
lady gets on a crowded car we haven't
got the strength to be polite and give
her a seat. \ prolonged strike that
tied UP every line of transportation in
town for whole year would change
all this. Your tOiler as a desk instead
of living a life of luxurious dyspepsia
would be forced to walk downtown to
the great betterment of his innards. and
to the material benefit of his legs which
instead OF having the vertebrate quail
ties of a mould of Jelly. would take on
some Of the attributes OF a ramrOd- In
order to get to business in time. these
walkers instead of snOOZing in bed dur
ing the fine crisp hours of the morn
ing and thereby losing the freshest end
of che DAY. would have to get up early.
As natural cOrOllary to this they
would have to go to bed early instead
OF sitting in little games until all hours
of the night, or passing the hours they
should be deVoting to sleep in hot.
stuffy theatres. wasting their eyes. ears
and alleged intelleCts on coon songs
and high kicking vaudeville shows
Early to bed and early to rise,
Makes d man healthy, wealthy and
wise,
Is old saw that ought to have been
put III the scriptures ana DfODa DIV
would have been If some Of the patTi-
archial scribes had thought of it. It's
as true today as il was when ii was
written, and TO the extent that this
strike has compelled New Workers to
abide by its principles the strike is
to be commended, and should have been
prolonged So there you are on the
subject of discomfort Mr.. Redface
You are jiu-jitsued in one round
But they didn't walk-at least not
surface cars were simply damned with
suffering humanity. and every cab in
town was pressed into service"
Both beneficial to the community"
said the KnOCker. suavely. There is
nothing better for the human system
than massage. To have your muscles
slapped, and hauled, and rubbed. and
mauled is one of the most inVigOTating
things known to modern science. If
You have a glass neck. the first think
YOU do instinctively is to rub il and
squeeze il. II your head aches, you
press it and stroke II. If You have a
contracted muscle or a cramD in your
leg you massage II until il StTaishtenS
itself out and ceases 10 annoy You. So
when YOU take a. surface car built to
hold sixty passengers and cram 12S peO-
pie inside with ninety seven more
hanging on to the front and rear plat
forms, and then send that car bound
ing and jOlting over the tracks at the
ldIe u Il llllle 4 minute. You give ali
of those human beings an automatic
massage that should add ten years to
the life of every one of them. To be
sure. il is uncomfortable, but so is pref
~ much everything else that is worth
having. The unfortunate part of it is
that a liking for that sort of thing is
an acquired taste. and people aren't
required to stick at it long enough to
learn how to enjoy it. If the strike
lasted a. year, you'd find the public tax
ing positive pleasure in it. The whole
trouble lies in getting used to it,
Il believe you'd get used to hang
ing sneered Redface.
''NO-that'S impossible" said the
KnOcker. you can't hang a man sue
cessfully more than once. and that is
not often enough to make it a habit.
You mentioned the cabs-their use has
put thousands OF dollars into circula-
tiOn and. what is best of all, the money
went into the pockets of the people.
not into the Golfers of a heartless cor
TO5ation. 4 year OF that sort of thing
would make the cab drivers so rich,
too. that they could afford to be hon
est, so YOU see, my dear boy, the pro-
lonCation Of the strike would have had
an ethical bearing upon the Hfee Of
New York"
"Oh. weH'' said Redface, drinking
his third martini You can reason un--
he cracE of doom hrrt Won car't