Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1905-05-22

began to try to sell hair tonic.
Hair purity thin, sub he said. flng-
ering the two or three stray locks that
fringed Mr. Reeds bald pate, beef!
that way long. subj
| II was born that way" replied Reed
4 "Afterward l enjoyed a brief period
Of hirshute efflorescence, but it did not
i endure"
The barber gasped and said no more
Later some one told him he had shaw
ed the speaker. "Speakah!" he eN-
claimed. Don l know dat? l should
say he was speakah, sure NUT"
| All the newspaper boys are envious
of the Times because it has $4,000
| libel suit. That's all right, but that
is the only new spring suit we have
| Fonda Times.
Yes. that is America, sure enough
Said Columbus to his crew.
AS the happy band beheld the land
Rise out of the ocean blue.
rs it North or South America, Chris?''
| Inquired sailor chap;
And the answer was: Il think it is,
But we'll know when we see the
map.'-Nixon Waterman.
= y n
The state senate of Connecticut has
adopted a resolution naming Il COM
mittee to procure a suitable memorial
to the memory of Senator O. III. Platt,
to be placed in the state capitol
grounds at an expense not exceeding
$4,000.
operator. is small man, very slightly
built, narrow -chested, delicate in APP
peearance. At his desk he is regular
whirlwind for energy. He goes thru
his correspondence and thru the hum
dred reports that reach him at pace
that is not rivaled in any office in
Wall street.-the region of speed.
= = .
A curious custom still holds good in
the village of Waddesdon, in Bucking-
hamshire, England, where, on any NOR
ming or evening of the year, a person
can claim a free drink of new milk
Iifron a COW especially kept for the
benefit of thirsty wayfarers. This ami
NAL is known locally as the "alms
cow" and when she dies another has
to be provided by the parish. Per-
haps the custom of hanging onto the
public teat" so common among office
holders in this country originated at
Waddesdon.
he has engineered Sherlock Holmes
thru the solution Of many mysteries.
Conan Doyle has resorted, in difficult
ties Of his own, to the common gar
den method of discovery, by inserting
in the London Daily Mail this adver-
Cambridge bridge and London, box
containing four, ladies hats and some
artificial flowers; reward. Doyle,
Grand HOTEL Is Conan Doyle in his
statement that he has done with Sher-
lock Holmes, in earnest, on have we
been given blind hint of a new de-
tective story in the making? Readers
of Mr.. Doyle's great series now run
ming in the Times Republican will
wonder why he did not set his mary
elous powers of deduction at work and
locate his lost bundle after the fashion
of his favorite character.
The Hon. William Sterett, of Texas,
was narrating the glories of his COM
monwealth to friends in the Hoffman
house in New York City. He told of
the two towns on opposite banks of
the Rio Grande, one in Texas and the
other in Mexico. eff you have silver
dollar there" said Colonel Sterett, you
are fixed for drinks without number.
If the dollar is one Of Uncle Sans
you buy a drink in Texas, hand out
you dollar and receive a Mexican dollar
in change. Then you walk across the
bridge, buy a drink in Mexico and
hand out the Mexican dollar and re-
ceive a United States dollar in change
each coin being at a discount of ten
cents when it is away from home"
And how long could you keep it
up?" inquired a bystander.
Until you could no longer walk
across the bridge" replied Colonel
Starett