The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-08-06
Young Married People Often Lose Tn. terest in Outside World-Neigh- bOrhood Sociables Bring En- joyment-Music and the
 Channg-Dish Cement
 Such Gatherings-
 10 should Not Mary 43.
BY MAxGAnxrr E. sANGsrER-


 (Copyright. 1905, Joseph B. Bowles)
 Among the reefs and shoals wnicn lie in wait for unwary sailors on the sea of matrimony, perhaps there IS none more dangerous and less hkeiy to be guarded against, than the ten- dency to give up society. A married couple absorbed in one another may grow so exclusive and be % contented at home that gradually they lose all interest in the world outside. Littie by little they cease to accept invita- tions, they entertain seldom and they become narrow and petty or else 1n- different and selfish.
 A man Is a husband and a father, and in those relations he must give the best that is in him to the dear ones he loves, But a man Is also citizen, a member of the community and a son of his fatherland. A man owes service to the state, and he is not ris- ing to his full manhood if he does nothing for the State except to vote intermittently at a general election.
 A woman is a wife and mother, and her primary responsibility is to her family But she Is extremely mistak- en if she sets ironclad rules for herself and is immured in her home If she does this she is like the man with one talent in the gospels. who wrapped in a napkin. the gold that had been given him with which to trade and went away and hid 1t in the earth. Home is not a cemetery for burying talents and accomplishments. It is a garden where seeds should be, planted and where flowers of beauty and goodness should Hrow. woman Is a better mother and a better comrade to her husband if she has outside interests than If she simply spends her whole time in sew ing, cooking, housekeeping and sweep ing.
 For the ordinary woman, a woman's club or a woman's missionary society or an associated charity of some sort which brings her into an organization where she works with others. Is a great boon.
 One often soes married pairs where q wife is fond of society, of going about, meeting and receiving her friends. and a husband frowns on 1t all and opposes a good natured but ap- athetic inertia to her wishes. John has the excuse that he is away from home all day. that business has con- stunned his energies and that when he gets home at night he would rather enjoy a pipe and book by the hearth in the ease of his slippers than go any where to meet people. talk. dine, and in other ways spend the evening hour to which he looks forward with eager eyes through the day. Only very selfish wife drags her husband out every evening in the week. but there are wives by hundreds and thousands whose single chance for change and recreation comes after supper when the children are in bed. They some times need society. They cannot go out alone They do not choose to be escorted by another married couple. a I'd hAfw kfraH Hov vfG q remaining at home. Naturally they decline to be escorted about by a bachelor friend or relative. If John is resoIutely set against mingling in so- cfal functions, Jane as a rule is com pelIed to give up her preference and go to bed at 10 o'clock.
 Married happiness is built on perfect confidence. true comradeship, and real altruism. Mutual concession is essen tial to it's highest development If either party ignore habitually the rights of the other there is sure to be a breakdown in the end.
 A home should never stand quite by itself, nor should family exist only for it's own members. Each home be- longs to all homes. Every family has it's lines of communication that should touch other families. In a neighbor- hood 1t is a good plan for young mar ried people to have neighborhood sociables in which they gather at stated intervals. There may or may not be something to do that they all enjoy. Music Is a vital bond with many. Something to eat, chaffng- dish supper or simple refreshments, cement such gatherings as nothing more etherial can. Good fellowship IS emphasized when we break bread to- gether. .s.....t.=
 am often asked by anxious inquir- CTS what Is the prospect of domestic happiness if two people whose ages are very dissimilar shall marry.
 For instance, Mary, who is 19. tells me that she Is courted by David, who Is 4S. Now 43 is by no means old. A