davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-31
PRIZES. FOR 1.-THE BEST
STORY YOU EVER FzEARD''
First Instan,ent of Stories in The Journal Competition
Prizes for the Coming Week to Be Awarded
in Next Sundays Journal

Toward the. end of his official term he
felt, in duty bound to make special
effort to show his appreciation of the
hospitality he had uniformly enjoyed.
He decided upon giving banquet to
his Helena friends. Without much
trouble he completed his program for
the function, only the providing of the
right sort Of liquid refreshment wor-
ried his somewhat. Finally fixing upon
champagne frappe as the proper thing,
but in doubt Of how to prepare it, he
remembered an old war comrade, Col
onel c., who had always shown himself
an expert in providing good cheer at
headquarters on festive occasions.
Knowing the latter's address, he wired
him as Follows:
Helena, Mont, 1s7-.-Colonel c.,
- Street, New York: Wire me your
receipt for making champagne frappe.
Answer paid. (signed) a J. S.
In due time came the reply:
New York City, 1S7-.-General A.
J. S., Helena, Mont: Freeze it, you
ID fool. (Signed) g.. &C.
A. J. S. had the desired Information,
but as the telegraph tolls were rather
high In Montana in anterailroad days,
he paid $3.50 for the information.
&C. S. G..
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-31
WINNER OF FIRST PRIZE, IS.
The Blue Heron's Tail.

A teacher in certain Philadelphia
public school was very fond of reading
aloud extracts from books natural
history to her young hopefuls- It gave
them clear ideas Of what was going on
around them, she said, and familiar
lied them with the habits Of what
would otherwise have been an unknown
part of creation.
One afternoon, after reading them a
selection about the blue heron, she told
the children to write from memory,
and in their own words, what they had
just heard.
! Little fingers grasped the pens, little
heads were bent over the desks, and
then, after some minutes of writing,
papers were collected and carried up to
teacher. Teacher, reading them over in
her own home afterward, was puzzled
when she came across the following bit
of information:
'The blue heron has a tale, but 1t
must not be talked about
She turned to the book to find out
where the little writer had got the
foundation for such O. statement. The
words of the book were, 1.-THE blue
heron has no tail to speak off,
Edith Colon,
East Twenty-ffth Street.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-31
He's Going Yet,

General Nelson A. Miles, said an
Inventor, FUSED to be continually be-
isieged by cranks with pneumatic rapid
firing guns, subterranean rifles, dirigible
war balloons and such like material in
ventions. The general would weed
these cranks out with admirable speed.
~ sat in his office with him one day
when a servant brought in card.
.!'Send him in, said General Miles. His
business won't take more than a min
ute or two II
.E $50 in came a wild-eyed, long-haired
man, twisting his soft hat nervously in
both hands.
g General he said, L have here,
and he took out small parcel, a bull
4 let proof coat If the government would
adopt this
2. Put it on. Put it on said Gen
eral Miles, and he rang the bell
The servant appeared as the in
ventor was getting the coat. James,
said the general, tell the captain of
the guard to order one Of his men to
load his rife with ball and cartridge
and
g Excuse me, general, I forgot some
thing interrupted the inventor, and
with haunted look, disappeared. =
Alexandria, S. D. H. P. McP.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-31
The World Now Producing at the Rate
Of 500, 900, 900 Year---Efect|
Of This Immensely Increased Out
put Upon Prices and Wages and
the Earning Power of Money.

commerce and finance, between prices
and the money supply relative to the
sum total Of all exchanges in the bust
ness world. It is the contention of
some good authorities that the volume
of actual money in circulation, relative
to the amount Of business transacted,
affects prices. If, for instance, the
United States does total business of
800, 0O0,000,000 year, of all kinds,
and does it with about $2,625,000, 900 Of
money in circulation, any addition Of
money. greater than that necessary to
provide for expansion and increasing
populataon, and operating to raise the
per capita circulation, tends to advance
price However this may be, it is ac-
cepted doctrine that an increase in the
gold in the circulating total, advances
prices. ..- ~
Gold as Commodity. sd.
This latter proposition is entirely log
ical. Gold is like any other commodity,
it's value is governed primarily by the
supply and the demand for it. But it
is difficult to think of it in this con-
nection, for, being the measure of all
prices, and having no price outside it.
self, 1t is supposed by a majority Of
people to be stable. That dollar is
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-31
WINNER OF SECOND PRIZE, SO.
It Was a Dream

( Patrick was always INVITING Michael
upon his lack Of education. One day,
in the presence Of their squire, Patrick
dared Michael to contest Of wits.
Each was to compose a verse of two
lines and the squire was to Judge be-
tween them. To add further zest to
the contest the squire offered a pound
to the winner.
Patrick went home to his faithful
Bridget and told her about it. Be-
tween them this literary gem was con-
cocted:
Her name was Dottie Dimple,
- On her nose she had a pimple.'
Michael also went home to his wife.
She laughed at the ease with which he
could overcome Patrick, winning glory
and the pound at the same time
"Sure, and just say,
"'On yonder hill there stands a mill,
If it hash It fallen, it IS there still. y
On the great day, the contestants
met in the presence of half the coun-
try-side, each backed by his friends.
Michael, terribly embarrassed, got up,
made schoolboy bow and stammered
forth:
"On yonder hill there stands a. mill
If it hash It fallen, it s there yet
Amid a roar Of laughter he sat down
wondering what could be wrong.
Then Patrick with much dignity arose
and said, proudly:
"Her name was Dottie Dimple,
On her nose she had a war-rt.''
There was wild shout and Patrick
also retired crestfallen. But the squire
IN consideration of their manifest eff
forts divided the pound between them
-G. L. B.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-31

creasing ratio Of gold production con-
tinues, prices will continue to rise, then
a number of problems come up. The
first is that with reference to invest
merits, and their condition decade
hence. Bonds and mortgages bearing a
fixed rate Of interest per annum, will
no longer appeal so strongly to the con-
sentative investor, for while it is true
that he who buys bond, or security OF
a like nature, may be sure of regular
yearly income, his interest rate will re-
main unchanged, while the cost Of liv-
ing will be working up from year to
year, and, while at time of maturity Of
the bond or longtime mortgage, he will
receive the full amount invested, it
will have lost it's power in part. His
yearly increment of 4, 5 or 6 per cent
will measure up smaller every year in
purchasing power. At maturity the full
sum will be returned, but its value as
working capital will have been i'm
paired in just that degree in which the
general average Of prices is higher than
the general average at the time Of orig
inal investment
On the other hand, stocks, which rep
resent an interest in a property rather
than loan Of money, should show ad-
vancing trend. So also real estate,
farm lands, merchandise and other
property, should enhance in value over
a period Of years, if this theory is cor
rect. While the production of gold con-
tinues so large as to cause continuation
Of the upward price trend, the borrower
Of money on long time contract will
have the advantage, since he can buy
Rod Of general upward tendency, and
at maturity Of obligation, he will repay
the full amount Of the loan, having
meanwhile profted by use of the mon
ey. He will pay back the same sum in
money measurement that he borrowed,
but really less sum, measured by the
purchasing power Of money at the time
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-31

Many stories have been submitted
In The Journal competition for
The Best Story You Ever Heard
The prizes have been awarded as
follows:
First Prize, $5-Edith COLON, 3 East
Twenty fifth street.
Second Prize, $50. L. B., Brook
ings, s. D.
Third Prize, $2-A. H. Seymour,
Arlington, S. D.
The same prizes are offered for stories
to be submitted for publication this
week up to Thursday, under the follow
ing conditions:
Stories must not exceed three hun
bred words, must be written on one side
Of the paper only and must be Of a
humorous character.
i New stories and true stories are pre-
ferred, but old stories-not "wormy
chestnuts told in your own words,
will be accepted if first-class. Address
! Best Story Editor of 7 h 9 ourna !.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-31
Ry James =. Neville.

BY James e. Neville.
VIEW people, save those who follow
the higher economics, or in prac-
Z tical affairs are brought into
touch with the great movements in
finance, are aware of the daily working
of a powerful factor, affecting, directly
or indirectly, the people Of the entire
world, and all the world IS finance and
commerce, politics and society. This is
the wonderful increase in the produc
ton Of gold. =.
Never before in history was there
anything to equal the present output.
The mines Of the world are turning out
$1,000,000 in gold every day. When the
year shall have passed, the world g
stock Of gold will have been augmented
by $375,000,000. This, the largest an
nual production, will make the world s
total, coined or available for coinage,
$6,150,000,000. ~
Some idea Of the increasing supply
may be gained from glance back to
1850, when the annual production was
only $44,500,000 and the worlds stock
$1,000, 100000. ....-
In 1852 the annual production first
passed the $100,000,000 mark, and from
that year to 1895 it varied from $780,
100000 to $19S,000,000 decreasing
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-31

lively stable. No more gold came into
use per annum than the world could
readily absorb, and while more was put
into circulation, 1t was needed by in
creasing population and greater volume
of business.
Today the gold production is working
somewhat against labor. If one refers
to the table attached, reprinted from
Moody's Magazine, it will be seen that
in 1897 prices were about rs and wages
1865. If this statistical relationship be
accepted as representative of the newer
| and higher standard of living, then, un
less wages, for which the late statistics
do not appear, have advanced mate
rally within the past year or two, the
gold production has not helped the
working man.
Prices rose 81 points, to "a, by 1900.
The gold production, having passed the
$2OO,0 100000 mark in 1896, was carry
ing them up. Everything was high.
The increased cost Of living was the
subject Of comment everywhere. Wages,
meanwhile, moved up by 71s points,
and 1721a for wages against "a fol
prices, represented the cost of living
DIS Lue lew Ceutuiy oPouOo'
Since then the shifting has been go.
ing on, both prices and wages moving
up, but prices leading.
AS the old year, with its 1876, oOo,-
900 of new gold, ends, and 1906, with
it's promise Of $4O0, 100000 comes in,
the tendency for prices to Else is very
marked.
From 1897, when prices were at low.
est point, to the beginning of 1906,
there has been an advance of 81 points.
From 1897 to 1904 wages advanced 20
points. To maintain the ratio in force
when prices struck bottom In 1897,
wages ought now to be IL points higher
or 1916.
1t may be doubted whether this has
followed. Later statictics will show
! whether it has or not.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-31

perfect ventilation.
I. A new front entrance with tile yes
tibule and new stairway has been con-
structed on the Second avenue side.
New modern fronts are to be put in
the stores, which will complete the work
Of transformation under way in this
building since it came under the care
OF. j. Schutt & Son, the agents. They
have steadily improved the occupancy
of the building as well as the construc-
ton until they have made the prop
erty an attractive one and which will
prove handsome investment, situated
as it is on one of the best corners on
Second avenue s, a street which is fast
becoming very lively. The building
starts the new year with new name
and will hereafter be known as the
College Block.
The Cation Business college is one of
the oldest. and strongest commercial
colleges in the city, having been unin-
terruptedly in business for over twenty
years. Prof. T. j. Cation, the head of
the school, is very proud Of his new
quarters.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-31
Charley's Joke on Aunt Mary.

After Charley Smith graduated he
came to Detroit, where he succeeded In
business and was happily married.
During the week of national con-
vention held there, favorite aunt of
his decided to take advantage Of the
low rates and make them a visit. "
From the moment Charley read the
letter he began to laugh. 1t recalled
SO many good times and practical jokes
exchanged. Before going home, he had
fully decided upon a good joke on his
wife and on Aunt Mary. Each woman
should think the other deaf.
He told his wife, II know you will
like Aunt Mary and will enjoy her
visit. There is only one drawback.
She is quite deaf and is sensitive about
it. We must be careful to talk so she
can hear all we say.'
When he met Aunt Mary at the train
he said, IT know you will like May.
There is only one thing that might pos
sibly mar your visit and that is she
is deaf since having scarlet fever and
is sensitive. 7 am careful to always
speak so she can hear
- On arriving he introduced them at
the top of his voice, to give them the
pitch, and they took it exactly, but
their sensitive ears soon tired. It was
not ten minutes before each knew the
other was not very deaf. -..-
Aunt Mary had not lived sixty odd
years for nothing. She said, Are you
deaf?' In an instant each woman I'M
derstood the joke and made for the per
petrator, who had from the first dis
appeared ostensibly to hang up his
| hat. >-,'- :
They found him convu]sed with laugh
ter and joined in. They tried many
times thru the week to pay him back
but they still feel they did not get
even. Olive Kenton,
1926 First Avenue S.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-31
How Wars Began.

"Papa, how do nations get into war
with each other?' asked Johnny Cues
tionbox
"sometimes one way, sometimes an
other,' said his father. CHOW, there
are Germany and Spain. They came
near getting into war because a Span
ish mob took down the German flag"
emo, my dear,'' put in Mrs. c.,
that WASH It the reason.''
"But, my darling" said Mr.. O.,
don t you suppose T knows That was
the 'reason.'
emo, dearie, you are mistaken. It
was because the Germans u
'FMrs- Questionbox, I say it was be-
cause the" =
''Peleg, you know better. You are
only trying to" .--..
"Madam, I don't understand that
your opinion was asked in this matter,
anyway .-...+ .~~.... ...
"Well, I don't want my boy in
structed by an old ignoramus. -
'See here, you impudent-"
|'Put down your old cane, you brute.
Don't you dare bristle up to me or
I'll-'
"Never mind,' interrupted Tommy.
"I think L know how wars begin. -
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-31

slightly In some years, but carrying an
upward trend. Not only were there new
discoveries from time to time, but
newer methods, applied to old work
ings, made possible the extraction OF
gold from ore Of grade so low as to
have been Improbable in former years.
This was especially the case in regions
once remote, where cost of production
was necessarily high, which, more re-
Gently, the railroads had opened up.
The production passed the $200,000,-
900 level in 1896 and went above the
$30O,O0O,000 line only three years later.
Tt then fell back slightly, but, since
1903, has been climbing steadily, with
$375,O0O,O00 as the figures for 1905, and
$500 100000 promised for 1906. g..
/ An Interesting Problem.
The most noted thinkers on economics
in the world today are watching this
increasing gold supply with the great
est interest. It's probable effect upon
the affairs Of the world is now sub
iect for wide discussion. Some differ
ence Of opinion is found to exist among
men Of repute. It is generally con-
ceded however, that a period Of heavy
production cannot fail to bring adj
vancing prices in the commercial world:
| Commodities and merchandise of all
kinds will be in some degree affected.
The general average Of prices will rise.
History shows that, following the
discovery Of America, and the sending
back by the later adventures, of the
treasures Of Mexico and Peru, great
wave of activity and advancing prices
swept over Europe. In the past cen
tury the gold discoveries in California
and Australia had the same effect, in
proportion. -
AS the gold output inlcreases-as
more gold comes into general use-com-
modify prices rise. This is thought
! not always grasped at first by those I'M
familiar with the subject. There is a
very intricate relationship between
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-31
How the Judge Pound.

My father practiced law in Texas in
the "eafly days." and as a child I
heard him tell many interesting stories
concerning the rulings, etc., Of Judge
Bean, unique character, who held
court in one Of the far western counties
Of that state This one has fingered
in my memory.
A man was found dead in the creek
that ran thru the county seat. At the
coroner's inquest, where Judge Bean
presided, search discovered in the
vest-pocket of the corpse wallet con-
tanning five SIS gold-pieces, and in the
hip-pocket a revolver. Judge Bean
"found' as follows:
1T find that this man came to his
death of accidental drowning. I also
find him guilty Of carrying concealed
weapons. Constable, seize the $25 to
pay his fne.' E. F. NJ. ~
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-31

of payment. -.,.. - 60.
This view Of the ultimate working
out Of the present situation may seem
theoretical, yet it is being advanced as
probable by many well-informed men
who have studied conditions in the past.
One thing is certain-the heavy gold
production means expansion of credit,
and, with occasional temporary set
backs, the general trend in commerce
must continue upward. That this will
lead to reaction at some distant day is
probable.
Cost of Living.
Another great problem is the matter
of the increased cost of living, relative
to the compensation of labor. 1t has
already been said that the history of
gold shows that when production in
creases, prices begin to rise. The rea-
son is clear The miners do not hoard
the gold. Part Of it is spent for neces-
saries or luxuries, but the greater part
goes into some bank for safe-keeping.
Finding his deposits augmented by
gold, the banker naturally has more
money to loan. Interest rates are then
easier. The banker is DESTROYS Of en-
ploying his idle funds. The borrower
is favored. The sum of 375,00O,O00 a
year in, gold, might mean $1,OOO,000,-
900 or even $2,OO0,000,00 in new
credit. Business expands. There is in
creased demand for nearly everything
and general prices rise.
Thus the business man needing mon
ey for new enterprise or FOR enlarge
ment, finds great benefit in an in
creased production of gold. The la
borer profits in the concrete sense, since
industry is active,> and permanent en-
ployment assured. Yet he also suffers
from the first effect of rising prices,
since his cost Of living is increased
Higher compensation for labor does
not always follow Immediately upon
rising prices.
The general tendency in our country,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-31
A Discounted Judge.

Judge Cony was gentleman Of the
old school who flourished in Maine
somewhat less than century ago. The
following story is still told Of him by
the "oldest inhabitant' in a certain
section Of the pine tree state:
"The old judge used to ride from his
home up country to Augusty, to tend
the court, on horseback.
Zone mornin' as he was ridin
along he overlook an old farmer-seedy-
lookin' kind Of a crittur. Meow, the
judge was a marster hand to talk, an
so he rid along with the old man jest
as sociable as you please. He talked
abeout the crops an the times, an
then waded inter politics. AFTER a
while the steeples Of the meetin
heouses deown to Augusty hove into
sight. Then the judge begun to git
Uneasy.
carter hulnmin an hawkin' a
leetle, SEE he to the farmer, SEE he
MY friend, I have enjoyed your com
pany very much. But, ah, yeou know
I occerpy a ruther higher position in
the world than yeou, and people would
wonder to see us ridin' along together,
says he. so if yeou'll fall behind a
leetle, it would obleege me very much,
SEE he.
'Sartin! sartin!' sez the farmer
slackin up his boss.
"The judge rid on, head up, lookin
as proud as a peacock when he got inter
the city. But he dropped his head when
he heerd the old farmer hollerin' arte1
him so loud that the words echoed all
over Augusty an set everybody tt
larfn': BE I fur enough behind meow
Judge Coney7 Be I fur-r-r enough be
hind neow?'' D. A. Haywood.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-31
First Catch the Flea,

Once upon a time Frenchman, liv-
ing in sunny France, felt within himself
a longing to see the world, and without
further ado he embarked upon vessel
bound for Liverpool.
In the course of time he arrived at
that seafaring town. and having taken
in the sights he hied himself to Lon
don town.
Here, stranger in strange land,
with no occupation to supply fast
diminishing exchequer, his funds soon
came to an end. He wandered up and
down the streets Of the great city and
cudgeled his brain for some way by
hook or by crook in which he could
earn some of the necessary, to-wit,
money.
Finally he struck upon ! scheme.
Strolling down to the banks Of the
Thames, upon the outskirts of the city,
he came to brickyard. Selecting a
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-12-31
OLD HARMONIC HALL
NOW COLLEGE BLOCK
Cation Business College Will Occupy
Handsome Quarters in Building.

! i II s + y
The above cut shows the new College
block, at Second avenue s and Third
street, replacing the old Harmonic hall,
which was destroyed by fire early in
the year. The entire upper stories of
the building were rebuilt in a substan-
tial manner and the third floor, S8xl2O
feet, has just been completed by Glenn
L. Saxton, architect, for the Cation Bus
mess college, which will make this it's
home after Jan. 1.
Many thousands Of dollars have been
expended in the making Of the finest
quarters for a business college to be
found in the west. The mahogany
finish woodwork is as fine as found in
the best residences, the decorating is
rich and artistic and the equipment is
perfect in every detail. The commercial
hall and shorthand rooms are especially
attractive, with high ceilings, insuring