The Crittenden record., 1905-08-04

me. Ana l wNn TO ask wnar are me
two great talents Of the Yankee-tal-
ents that made our forefathcrs famous
the world overl pause for an an.
swer"
He had once been a schoolmaster.
and that accounted for his dldactic
style.
"What are the two great talents of
the Yankee be- repeated. his hands
claSprd before him
"Doughnuts an pie" said Uncle Eb.
who sat In far corner
"No SIR" Mr.. Walker answered.
There's some hey talent FER sawln'
wood, but we don't count that It's
war an speakin' they are the two
great talents Of the Yankee But his
greatest talent Is the Gift o. CAB. Give
him a chance { talk II over with his
enemy an' he'll lick i'm without fight.
An when his enemy Is another Yankee
why, they both git licked Jest as II
was In the case Of the man tibet sold
me lightnln rods. He was sorry he
done IL before got through with him
II We did not encourage this talent in
our sons they would be- talked to death
by our daughters Ladies' and gentle
men II gives me pleasure Z say that
the hest speakers In PARKWAY township
have come here { discuss the important
question.
Resolved. That lntcmperancc has
caused more misery than war
81 call upon Moses Tuppor 10 open
FOR the affirmative"
Moses, who rose 20 respond. had a
most unlovely face. with a thin and
brlstllng growth ~ whiskcrs In Civ.
ing him features nature had bcen gen
eruus to a fault lie had a large rel
nose and mouth vastly too big FOR
any proper use. II was mouth fash.
ioned for old sayings He was well to
do and boasted often that he was
self made man. Uncle Eb used 20 say
that n Nose Tupper had had the
"makIn Nv himself he'd oughter done
Il more careful"
remember not much ~ the speech
he made. but the picture of him as he
rose on tIptne ana swung his arms like
a man lighting bees and his drawing
tones are MS familiar ns the things "
yesterday.
Gentlemen nm ladies'" said he pres
entity. let me show you q plctur'. Il
i the drunkarl's child. II Il hungry.
an there a.ut no food 10 lts home The
child ], poorer n straw fe,l boss
'Tain't h~l a thing 2 eat since day be
fore yistidiy riatur IL 10 yourselves
as it CONES rrn' 10 It's mother an
suys.
Ma, gI' me a piece o bread an but.
ter
she covers her face with her aprca
an says she. There ain none left my
child.
An b.mc by the child come, agIn
an holds up ~ poor nt,ir nan, am
says, Ma. please :. me q p.ccr o. cake
An she gp', au. Looks out 70 the win.
der cr m'hhr poke, The drr lu says.
There ain nome left my child
An himr hy 10 come. ae.u. am IL
says. Pleas" e. mc q little p.ryr o.
pie
An she mrbhc rop, into a chair ar.
says sohl.u' There aIu' nome Iof, uy
child
~. pie. Vow. Va C.a.raln." cy
claimed Do" orator as hr ur,,I ia,b
hand, h.-h ahp,, h., head. a.f u.
aiHt misery 100 Gvl's ulme what is
tt
Year, asp when wns B y5up.
r#u. Nr President ! went t1 ID IaHr,.
One uislt no The village " Nisl,yv.rr
] lpi in''h.,'r au' iur d,, % trUrt,.I
m" with whisky au' tuk u1r sll..
un then Hu''bor au purity soon I Dol.
son ih.uh was mighty luffy .Y-f
"i % character. I ld. HH' Z .'uI or .
CORNER 1u siumpul everybody O. tstf
with uu au. h.mr by au arummuiai.
W kwi u' H DiHr rlm, aIuus aH. Thar.
al ] remember 90 what happened
When ! ,lur tu my rlt tails Ia'l I....
t'' On. l.i ''.i un' lr. u' my tr,uw-.
bran uru silver watch irN dollar. Iu
money 1u pair u' spectacle, When