The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-06-25

And the Old Gun NAcAcu Aou ONSss
 cook. ol nurse In the hospital, and they co,,Id never get you near a gun again for years, and when you did shoot again at the enemy, you pulled the trigger with your eyes shut, and run away from the recoil, and never mt rebel. and 1t took eight carloads oI lead to kill one man. Now 1t is dif- rerent' and inc little guns the army uses don't kick, and they shoot little bullet three miles, and when the pul- let hits a man he Is paralyzed until the battle Is over, and you have get to pich out a spot on a man. and mt It. oI be fined by the sergeant That Is what it means to be up to date wlth an alans au,, or navy. You got to hit the buifs-eye and not the surrounding country. The time for hunting elephants with pird shot has passed, and you got to ploW lem up with dynamite, seeg
 ''The boy who can hit fly on the wall with a bean shooter Is the com I,ine soldier and you old jays that sit araund and kick about the expense or teaching our army and navy to hls things they cannot see without tel | oscope ought to be sent to an asylum | for incurables."
 Now that you and your dad have travelled all over Europe. and kept your eyes and ears open. what do you think | is the best place for man to go who | is tired of his own country, and wants | to settle down somewhere and enjoy | peace, and quiet, for the balance Of his fife, without work, and no feeling that | he is liable to wake up some morning and find that he is in the midst of l war What country would you advlse an elderly man to go to, who wants to 1 get away from trouble. and just enjoy every day of the balance of his lifeT" l said the old man, with a peaceful look, as though he was seeking a heaven upon earth
 well. by ginger, you have got me" said the bad boy, trying to think of the most peaceful place he visited while abroad. The fact is, we were not looking particular for quiet, peaceful | places, but for excitement and rush, and
 trouble, and we got 1t, sure. had thought that in Norway and Sweden one could get plenty of peace, sliding down hill in winter, on skis and to-
 boggans, but since we got home I see that Norway has seeded from Sweden. and they have got to fight, so wouldn't go there Ireland is about as beautiful | a country as one could wish to be in.
 but in the cities everybody is rich, and they live high and fast, but in the country the people arc hungry. and they live on potatoes. ard hope for a 1 remittance from some member of the
 family who is making more than Q liv- ing in good old America, while the young men and the girls are all packing up to go away to the land of the free. and before you could get there and get settled down there W ould be nobody left in Ireland but the 1 very old men and women, who would talk to you of nothing but the boys and girls in faraway America. and when they found that you had left America to come to Ireland and enjoy yourself, they | would take you for a luhatic and have you sent to an asylum.
 "Tn England you would be all right If you had money enough to buy an es- tate and raise race horses. but If you l won money at the races they would cut your acquaintance, and If you lost your money, they would consider you a good | fellow until your money was gone, and then they would make you move on. Tn France you could enjoy yourself until you had to go to the Keeley cure, and then 1t would be all off. In Italy you would have to learn to play a tune on a macaroni instrument and eat eOttonseed oil from America, disguised with an olive oil label, with every man and wo- man carrying a butcher knife; and in I Germany you would have to be on dress l parade and raise beer stomach that you would have to wheel around on Q whelbarrow. Como to sum 1t all up
 my advice to you would be to go to Zion City, give all your money to Dowie and take A hand-out of bread and beans occasionally ,and try to look pleasant"
 The bad boy paused. The old grocery | man had listened with great interest
 Say" he said, after minute, "whera 1 is your dad going next trip? Seems as though he would want to stay at home long enough to change his shirt"
 l Don't you have to change your shirt