davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
WALL sTREET MORALITY.

The immortality in Wall street consists
in the misuse of mechanism that is
constructed on an absolutely moral
basis. The same men who gamble in
stock are likely to gamble on horses
and at roulette tables. The same men
who manipulate markets are quite
likely to be in league with men who
corrupt legislatures. A dishonest di-
rector is no better and no worse than
a dishonest public official. Graft is no
more odious in Wall street than it is
in Washington. In judging Wall street
it is necessary to discriminate between
the true and the false, the good and
the bad. 1t is the bad which does so
much to fill the columns of sensational
Journalism; it is the good which is
turning the wheels of commerce.
Wall Street Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
JANA WKER JOTS

Chanute has really new idea-a
glass carnival
The chronicler of the Onaga Repub-
lican says that the corn is showing
symptoms of yellow fever.
The lid also seems to be on at EN-
poria, inasmuch as the town claims to
have used A million gallons of water
during August.
A far larger proportion of the popu-
lation along the western Kansas border
is served by telephone lines than in the
eastern states.
The lola Register ran a piece under
the heading, Death of Paul Dombey,"
by Charles Dickens, and lot of lola
people looked to see when the funeral
would be.
The editor of the Chapman Advertiser
is having all kinds of adversely. Just
weeks confinement in a hospital his
printing office burned down.
Don Wells tells of a mean man in
Erie who borrows ice of his neighbors
in the summer and sits around their
stoves in winter. He probably prom
ises to pay back both the ice and the
heat as soon as he is done with it.
That was a pretty expensive battle
that the Deweys put up against the
Berry family in Cheyenne county 1t
is estimated that it has cost the Dewey
estate as high as 100000 The suits
survivors have been compromised for
so, 900.
Many people believe there isn't much
water in western Kansas. The Smoky
south of Goodland has enough in it
that a man who fell in one of its pools
got tangled up in the giant moss at the
bottom of the stream and was drowned
before his companions could get him
out.
Thomas TrulI, a Hiawatha boy, in
stead of putting in most of his time on
the baseball diamond this summer.
planted some onions. from which he
raised five hundred bushels which he
sold for $3.50. That's the kind of a bow
that will do something-unless he proves
to be the exception.
Lindsborg Record: Several farmers
out in Barton county own their own
automobiles. One man bought a six
teen horse power machine in Kansas
City and run it home in a day making
$50 miles. No set of farmers in the
world enjoy so many conveniences as
does a Kansas farmer.
Hutchinson Independent: A Hutchin-
son girl was asked by a friend why she
does not marry a certain young man
who has been very attentive to her for
the past twelve months. 'sWell,' she
said, he has asked me to marry him,
but 1 am still undecided I am trying
to make up my mind whether marriage
is a comedy or a tragedy"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
Required a Lot of Educating.

A young Brockton physician tells the
following about himself:
Upon his graduation from Brown uni
Vers1ty he went home to the western
part of the state for few days, and on
the street met young Frenchman, one
of his comrades of the Spanish war.
This conversation ensued:
Hello, Fred: I hear you got through
down at Brownse's"
Yes, I finished there Wednesday"
Well, what you going to do now?"
I'm going to New York to study
medicine"
Huh. You going to be doctor. How
long dat take?"
I'll have to study four years. any
-Four years! Gee! Didn't you gradu-
ate from the high school here?"
Yes
And didn't you go four years at
Brownse's?''
Sure thing
And now you mean to tell me you
got to study four years more to be a
doctor?''
''I certainly have, and after that there
will be two years in a hospital"
well, you must be tick-headed."-
Boston Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
JUST as You usED M moi

m &c. Dreaming dream in the twilight
ANA the years roll away like a tide;
The silver creeps back to the golden
ana You are again at my side
we Wanoer through sunny, sweet mead
Where the snowiest daisies grew;
an nearing you say: Il love you'll
Just as you used to do,
Just as you used to do. dear heart,
IN the vanished days of yore;
L hear you softly whisper
The old sweet words once more
your loving arms are round me-
Your clasp SO strong and true
near you saying: Il love you'll
just as you used to do
And then [ wake from my dreaming,
Awake to my lone unrest
Inc daisies change to lilies
laid on your dear dead breast
But always and ever at twilight
III dream of the joy 1 knew:
Il near you say: Il love your
Just as you used to do
Maurice Smiley in Tom Watsons Maya
zine for September
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
JOURNAL ENTRIES

When, by the way, is Mr. Cortelyou
going to try on another cabinet posi-
ton?
Japan and Russia are now friends
once more, but there are no indica-
tons that Cummins and Shaw are
about to kiss and make up.
Parsons has voted $500 bonds for
the Katy shops and is now waiting
for katy to make good. And
katy woman-like, is making the
town wait.
A man in a Topeka Office whose
duty it is to operate an adding ma
chine complains of the great amount
of mental labor he is compelled to dol
Now laugh.
1t is predicted that it will take at
least three years to reach the north
pole, which leads to the suspicion that
it is located somewhere between To-
peka and Fort Scott and must be
reached by way of the K. N. & D.
When Secretary Shaw was in To-
peka he simply winked when he was
asked about his presidential boom. Is
he still winking?
The next thing necessary will be to
make peace between the disagreeing
newspaper correspondents at Ports
mouth who can't get together on what
really happened.
Anyway, there isn't much danger
that the Taggarts will go on the stage.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
GLOBE SIGHTS

TFron the Atchison Globe.1
baro is man who doesn't have
any bad luck
An omnibus horses trot is slower
than his walk.
II isn't a bit cooler to be on the
shady side of life
DO so we'll today that you need not
long for tomorrow.
Lots of people would laugh at
funerals if they dared.
There never was a man who did
not overwork a willing horse
IF a man were his own enemy, what
s+ories he could tell on himselfi
EVERY day thousands of people say,
ssI cannot stand it," but they do.
some people live not by intelligence,
hut by instinct, as the animals do.
Even the infidels admit that there
ought to be better country than this.
DON'T Judge a man by his first
friendships in a town; judge him by
his last.
You can't realize how little money
there is in five dollar bill until you
break it.
The poorer a new country is, the
greater the inducements offered to To-
cate in it.
Don't forget that people have sharp
err eyes than hawks, and that they use
them industriously-
1t is always matter of regret that
the two meanest dogs in town do not
get together. and fight
1.-THE more I know of humanity. the
more [ wonder what Christ saw in us
to die for.''-Parson Irvine.
When a nice woman starts in to be
shiftIess, this is the first sign of it:
she begins using bakers bread.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
AN ANT-PAss LAW.

How thankful some Kansas office
holders-many of them-must be that
they do not live in Wisconsin! What a
burden to them would be the anti-nass
law that is now being enforced in that
state! How distasteful would be the
ideas of Governor Hanly of Indiana,
who will not tolerate pass-holders
among his public officials!
But the anti-pass idea is growing.
Possibly the next Kansas legislature,
even. may be ready to pass a law like
the Pringle bill. which was defeated in
the last session The railroads would no
doubt gladly welcome such a measure
if it did not carry with it a reduction
of the passenger rates.
The Wisconsin law takes in all classes
of officials. Here is what Attorney
General Sturdevant, of that state. says
of it:
1T is now the settled policy of this
state that no person holding a position
under the laws thereof or under the or
dinance of any city or town. can be the
holder or user of free transportation in
any form or receive favors in that re-
spect from railroad companies, which
are not extended to the public in gener-
al and that it is unlawful for railway
companies to furnish the same to state
officers, committees or candidates. and
that transportation acquired by pub
lie officer which is paid for in whole or
in part, is free transportation as defined
by law"
How about the Kansas attorney gen.
eral: do you suppose he carries any
railroad passes? He is a member of the
board of railroad assessors. you know.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
Bankers Like Mohammedans.

A swarthy man drew $500 out of the
saving fund, and the cashier said on his
departures:
IF all our depositors were like that
gentleman our concern would soon be-
come rich. Murad Ali is an Indian, a
native of Calcutta, and his religion for
has had a savings account with us for
IL years. His interest altogether has
amounted to 500. But he has never ac-
cepted cent of it. 1t has all flown
back into our Golfers again.
'AIl Mohammedans are like Murad
Ali. They won't take interest on their
money. Hence. India, think. must be
a grand country for the banking bust
ness, and how glad our bankers would
be if Mohammedanism were to spread a
little. "-PhiIadelphia Bulletin.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
From the New York Press.l

from the New York Press.
There is hardly any fun at all in
being only as smart as people think
you are.
A vacation in a summer hotel is a
nice way to learn what a good time
one has at home.
Generally friendly compromise is
based on the fear you will get some
thing worse if you don't.
When woman plays cards either
she doesn't know the rules or she
knows them and doesn't know what
to do with them
1t ought to make a man feel very
happy not to have any money and be
able to think how many fool invest
ments he didn't go into.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
a Remarkable Postscript.

Miss Carey Thomas, the president of
Bryn Mawr college, talked at a lunch
con about the righteousness of chill
dren.
"a friend of NINE" she said, "once
showed me letter that her little son
had written her from Andover. The
letter ran like this.
"'Dear Mother, I am we'll and hope
you are well. Will you please send
me So? I know the last did not last
long, but it is all spent now, and L
need 50 badly. I hope you are well.
1 am well. Please do not forget 81
''Then there was this postscript:
"sI was so ashamed to ask for
so soon after the last you sent
that I sent after the postman to get
this letter back. but it was too late,
he had gone Los Angeles Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
Lighting Pekin.

Emil Bard. a French writer, tells how
Pekin is lighted, as follows: Eighty
thousand taels (S50,4o0) are assigned
each year for street lights: the official
in charge takes 10000 as his share and
gives the rest to subordinate. This
latter hands over 10000 to his inferior,
and SO on. until the original sum is re-
duoed to a few copper cash, given to
coolie to buy oil and a wick; these are
placed on a plate on the ground. A
beggar comes along and drinks the oil
and such is the lighting of Pekin.''
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

away during the summer may have
the paper mailed regularly each day
sO any address at the rate of thirty
cents a month. Address changed as
often as desired. XVhilc cat Of town
the state journal will be to you like
y daily letter from home.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
An Ungenerous Question.

The first slice of goose had been cut
and the minister of the Zion church
looked at it with as keen anticipation as
was displayed in the faces around him.
Oats as fine goose as ever saw,
Brudder Williams" he said to his host.
where did you get such a fine one?"
well, now, Mistah Rawley,' said the
carver of the goose, with a sudden ac-
cess of dignity, when you preach a
special good sermon. I neber axes you
where you got it. Seems to me OATS
trivial matter, any way.''-Youth's
Companion
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
HERE,s an IMPoRTANr ALATTEIs.

She may be in hurry
And have little time to waste
Through dressing she may scurry
With a mighty show OF haste;
But although it were crime 10
Be half a minute late
She must always take the time 70
Put her hat on straight
There's patting and there's tipping
Back and forth and up and down:
There's plucking and there $ nipping,
While her husband stands there swearin
At the time he has to wait
But it's little that she's caring
Till her hats on straight.
But oh, the satisfaction
When she's jabbed the final pin!
She's ready then for action,
With assurance she will win.
She can bravely bear affection.
She's prepared for any fate.
With the blessed, sweet conviction
That her hats on straight
Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07

The Detroit News can't help feeling
that Secretary Shaw made a mistake in
admitting that it is in Governor Cum
Minis power to annoy him. but Cum
Minis friends may feel the same way
relative to their man,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
KANSAS CoMMENT
NOT NECESSARY.

Topeka thinks that it has some
thing to be proud of in the fact that
bath tubs are going into the new
houses. Surely this is hardly neces-
sary while the pools are allowed to
gather in the holes in Kansas avenue.
Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07

1t was a thrifty New York servant
girl who collects $4,000 for refusing to
testify about the scandals in the homes
of her former employers. That is bet
ter than a ''Fads and Fancies'' agent
could have done.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
HARD 10 UNDERSTAND.

move on at last but the thing that the
common herd" cannot understand is
why he leaves Treasurer Kelly free
while suing his bondsmen.-M1nne-
apolis Better Way.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
CALDERHEAD.

Congressman Calderhead of the Fifth
district does not believe in President
Roosevelt's railroad bill and is making
speeches against it. If we lived in the
Fifth district we would feel obliged to
vote against Congressman Calderhead
and we have an idea that many Repub-
licans down there will feel the same
way. 1t would seem very foolish for
state that is Disseminated against as
Kansas has been by the railroads. to
send a man to congress who thinks the
government has no more right to regu-
late railroad rates than it has to tell a
farmer how much he shall charge for
steer. The difference is that farmer
must take what he can get for a steer;
but the railroads are in a position by
reason of trusts, pools and consoiida-
tons, to make any freight rate that
cupidity may suggest. Corporations
that owe their right of existence to the
when the public good requires it:-Jew-
ell Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07

There is a good deal of discussion con-
corning what congress will do the COM
ing winter on railroad legislation, but
there is not much doubt about what
the United States senate won't do if it
can help itself.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07

It is not likely that a Quantrell
raider could ever be convicted in
Douglas county after all these years.
for the evidence against the raiders
lives only in history now. but there
ought to be some way of making them
ashamed of their dastardly deeds in
stead of Dragging about them. 1t is a
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07

What a blessing the telephone and
the megaphone will be in case the hoop
skirt really does come back, for they
will obviate the necessity of sending
by mail what we want to say to the
wearers Of the contrivanees!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
WHAT THEY THINK.

Envoy Witte seems to think the Jap
anese have exaggerated their victories
greatly. 1t would be interesting to
have the views of Generals StoesseI
and Kuropatkin and Admiral Rojest-
vensky upon the subject.-New York
Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07

little too much when men get together
and glory in the deeds of a band of
cut-throats, to which they claim to
have belonged forty years ago.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
HUMOR or THE Day

Customer-Those trousers are too short
for my boy; he'd outgrow them IN ave
Taiior-No danger; they won't last that
long.-San Francisco Call
Doctor Ito Mrs. Perkins, whose husband
is nD-Has he had any lucid interyals7
nothing EXCEPT what i! You ordered, doctor
Kansas City Independent.
Patience-Didn't they advertise that you
could sleep under blankets up On the
mountains where you went?
didn't have any onkers States
man.
Jokesmith-My picture has been publish
Rlacksmith-Is that so?. And were you
really cured of ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Leader.
Borroughs-Won't let me have a cent,
Ell? Well, I've been deceived in you
Markley-That's not my fault.
Borroughs-No, it's the fault OF some of
your friends; they told me you had more
money than brains.-Philadelphia Ledger.
Aunt Jane-This is the dear doggie that
1 wanted to show you, Carrie. She's the
sweetest creature To see her with her
puppies is to witness the perfection Of
motherhood.
Carrie-How sweet Where are the pup
Small Boy-she's eat 'em all. Miss
Punch.
Scovill-What are you mad about?
the trunk L lost.
Scovill-Do you consider that cause for
Clarke-WelI, I should say yes, Would
not you be mad if you had to take 81
! trunk back in place of the $50 damages
you had been expecting ?-Cleveland
Leader.
A Harvey county Kan.) widower took
ms second wife nome and introduced her
gne y oeted n he's Is y your
ically and the youngest blurted out: rs
that the best you could do, papa?"-New
80 And are you going to make a musician
OF your boy?" asked the friend as he pat
II don't know" replied the musical man.
"Oh, no, of course you don't! forgot he
hasn't any hair yet, has he?'-Yonkers
Have you a library in your town?''
"A circulating one?''
wei, it wasn't intended for that sort
of a library, but we had two or three cy-
clones out our way that circulated 1t con-
siderably. "-Yonkers Statesman.
First Society Baby-I met an old friend
today-one hadn't seen for months.
Second Society Baby-Indeed! Who was
First Society .Baby-My mother-cieve-
Iand Pldin Dea1er.
Miss Hygee-I saw you at the concert
last night Did you notice how my voice
completely filed the hall?
Miss Jellers-Yes, dear; it undoubtedly
had much to do with drawing the crowd.
though there was a good deal of public
curiosity to hear the new orchestra and
Miss Dearly, the wonderful harpisf, you
know.-Chicago Tribune.
| The Author-Are you familiar with my
book?
The Friend-I have nodding acquain-
lance with H.-Life.
| Colonel Ito recruit just enlisted waiting
outside orderly room)-Iook here my lad
| don't you know that soldier always sa-
| lutes an officer?
| Recruit-Pve said Good marnin' to zee
once already!-Punch.
| Citizen-Why don't you nominate good,
| honest, incorruptible man for this office?
| Politician-What's the use? Well have
| good majority without it.-C1eveland
| Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
A THEORY
SaarOfaR

Secretary Taft, for all his $50
pounds, looks like lightweight when
he trips the light fantastic toe. Per-
haps that is one reason why he is able
to skate on thin diplomatic ice.-New
York Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
WHITTIING REES.

Think what q. boom this peace con-
ference is to the cracker-box debaters
throughout New Chicago
News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
PERHAPS.


Perusal of the cars proclamation
creating a Russian assembly leads to
the conclusion that he has granted his
people all the power he does not care
to retain.-Detroit Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07

Now that W. Y. Morgan is back from
Europe and has stopped writing those
European letters, it is to be hoped that
he will spend some of his surplus cash
in publishing them in book form.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
A DIFFERENCE.

The CRATER has an advantage. He
can go on grating without any fatigue,
while the people who are after him get
overworked and require long vacations.
Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07

Mr.. Bryan says he is going to Europe
for some new ideas Which is cruel:
Europe has few enough new ideas now
without Mr.. Bryan going over there
and swiping some of the stock.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07

If Mr.. Burbank succeeds in making
that perfect man, the stampede of
dime museum managers to secure him
VIII make all former efforts in the
stampede line pale into insignificance.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
AUTHORSHIP AND CRIME.

Failing as an author a man stabbed
himself. It's an awful crime. Still, so
are the works of many authors.-New
York Telegram.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
PECULIAR IDEA.

Attorney General Moody wishes the
criminal code amended. Lots of peo-
pie have an idea that it ought to be en-
forced.-Atlanta Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07

The country got along fairly well
while ''the boss of the United States"
Senator Aldrich, was absent in Europe:
why not dispose of his services as boss
entireIv2
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07
THE BRIDES PROMISE.

According to the revised code of the
Methodist Episcopal church, the bride
must promise to love, honor and
keep" her husband. The enabling
clause>in the nuptial formula has Deen
the subject of endless tinkering OF late,
but we feel that it ought to stay now
for a long period where the MethodiSts
have put it. Strangely enough the
men were less satisfied than the women
with the old word "obey." So many
sweet girls seemed rather to want TO
pledge obedience. But man in MS
wisdom, born of effectual experience,
knew how sweetly those same girls
proceeded to obey not, and so quietly
worked for a repeal of the statute.
The new formula is a revolutionary
and happy reversal of ancient duty
and privilege. The sweet girl now
must agree to keep" the man OF her
choice. Thus, claiming her full rights,
woman must now agree to do her
whole duty, and no man need longer
bother himself with the question of
how he is to support a wife. 1t is IN
teresting to note in this connection
that a young woman has lately peen
telling the public that marriage I'M
proves a man. Henceforth the I'M
provement ought to be more notice
able. We take it that mans matri-
monial outlook was never more 4nvit-
ing. When hereafter he totes the UNI
brella and the handbag, while the
woman totes the baby, it VIII be ac-
knowledged that he is taking his full
share of the domestic burden.-How-
ard Courant.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-07

Methodist brides now promise to
keep their husbands. OF course what
they ought to promise is to try, for
some other girl might come along and
take him away in spite of their efforts
to keep him.