The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-05-20
ABunChOf StOryettes
Grave and Gay, Historical, Epluram-
matte and Otherwise.

dense for your comfort, Just tako the tip
OF the index finger and touch each of the
ladies within reach under the chin. The
ladies will draw back and give you all the
room you desire. This Is the famous kitchi
kitchi.
Johnny was at the opera for the first
time, and the celebrated soprano was in
the middle OF her solo, when he said to
ns the oSs serrnE to dass se Sat
hit at the woman with his stick?' He
Is not hitting her. replied his mother
keep quiet'T "Well, then, what is she
bowling for?'
Should you kill your brother and po-
liceman come TO arrest you, lie In wait
for him at the door of the parlor, and as
he enters, kick him in the knees with
both feet at once then winding his left
arm twice around his waist. throw him
up into the chandelier and leave him
there: IN bidding him farewell. AVOID
any touch OF irony which might cause
him chagrin.
England's future king. Prince Edward
OF Wales. now eleven years old possesses
childs habit of saying the unexpected
thing. When visiting King Edward. the
other day. the king asked him what he
sigayns sTsn and the e prince AsHed sae
who Warbeck was, the prince replied
He pretended he was the son OF the
king, but he wasn't ne was the son Of
AosPcStaDiS paAehss-
n the father OF the girl you are court
ing attempts TO put you out at / or In
the morning. speak to him gently
Should he force his attentions upon you,
give him tatapapa. erecting II by selling
his upraised foot with the right hand
and the collar OF his dressing gown with
the left. placing your right foot against
his stomach and thrusting him out the
front door. These motions should fol-
low one another so rapidly as to form
practically one movement.
w. 8. Gilbert was lately requested by
an Australian amateur composer 10 fur
rish the libretto OF an opera. His score.
the amateur remarked. was perfectly GER
tain to be satisfactory for 'he was
born musician. though he had been edu-
Gated as a chemist" Mr. Gilbert in an
swering TO express his regret at not being
able 10 comply said he should have
preferred a born chemist who had been
educated as musician"
4 y
i In the course Of little family alter
cation your wife should seize the rolling
pin and attempt to brain you, advance
toward her with calm self-assurance and
a cheerful smile until just within range
OF the weapon. Hold your head withhin
reach OF her arm and as she swings the
pin, duck and grasp her around the waist
as the pin goes by. Lift her bodily and
toss her over into the corner. expressing
ths hope that she VIII enjoy the place.
An Englishman had occasion for doc
tor while staying In Pekin- Sing Loo.
gleatest d2etor said his seryant; s s.a he
the Engllshman Yes. me teillble aw-
full was the reply: me callee In an
other doctor. He givee me medicine; me
velly. velly bad. Me eallee in another
doctor. He come and give me more medi-
cine, make me yelly, velly Bladder. Me
callee in Sing Loo He no come. He
savee my life"
Beware OF the utter stranger who en-
deavors 70 speak 70 you nj the railway
station. II he looks you squnrely In the
face. take his nose between the thumb
twist IL outward and upward until the
tip touches the forehead. Should he at
tempt TO strike you IN the meantime Cor
anywhere elsel. trip him UP and lay him
gently but very politely upon his neck.
taking care ali the time 10 smile and ask
after his family.
In London theater the names given to
the various seats are little puzzling to
an American. During a recent trip
abroad, Richard Mansfield sent his coach
man to a theater 20 buy stalls The
man. who Is AZ home In the stables but
not in the theater returned In due time.
did you get the stalls?' inquired the
actor. NO. sir" said the coachman.
the stalls were all gone. sir; but they
told me they could give me a-well that
they could put you in a loose box, SIR
= ~ r
III while seated IN a friendly game Of
poker an Acquaintance draws knife
and tries 70 stab you In the heart catch
the point OF HIS knife between the thumb
and forefinger and give Il short. quick
twist toward your opponents throat
then shove his elbow until the knife
sticks out OF the back OF his neck This
Is called diagosu and should be used
only In extreme cases and then BY an
expert In Jiu Justso, as IL requires
thorough knowledge Of the art to restore
your opponent.
Robert Hunter. author Of Poverty
and worker IN the New York Sums. sat
next 70 rather insipid young lady at a
recent dinner party, After an irksome
luli IN the conversation. Mr. Hunter
the settlement movement2H "Oh. i'm
menselyr glshed the young lady. Any
particular settlement Inquired Mr.
Hunter The young lady seemed az a
"Oh. l think the jamestown settlement
was jpst grand, don't your" And Mr.
Hunter admitted he did.
One OF the Southern senators recounts
a conversation that once took place be-
tween q friend OF his-a business man
in Mobile-and colored man who had
made application for work. Well. said
the business man. after the recital had
been made OF the darky's qualifications
II should like 10 give you the place but
m Atfaiu i can I 40 so, Tor / UNDER
stand you are married For special rea-
sons. desire for this place single
man" An expression OF the deepest dis
appointment came to the dusky counte-
nance. Of the applicant Finally. after
a short silence. during which he mumbied
10 himself by way Of reflection. he asked
hopefully and eagerly, We'll boss Il
dat's de trouble: I! think kin arrange a
An amusing story Is going the rounds
OF diplomatic circles In Berlin concerning
Count Inouye. the polished and able jan
anese minister in that capital and Count
Won Buelow the German chancellor It
arises out OF conversation which took
place between the two statesmen at a re-
cent dinner party Count Won Buelow,
who occasionally INDUCES In light banter
addressed the japanese diplomat as fol-
lows:
you must know. Count Inouye," he
said, that we Germans are beginning to
be quite inordlnatey proud OF the Japan
esg, You are the most apt pupils we have
ever had. Your strategy Is also German
and 50 Is your artillery. Nearly all your
doctors have studied In Germany You
have even Initiated us by inaugurating a
social democratic movement IN Japan"
Most true, Count Won Buelow" replied
the Japanese minister; ''but there Is one
thing we do not share with you"
What Is that2' the German chancellor
was rash enough TO inquire.
why, the fear OF Russia" dexterously
reJoined the diplomat.
-
Winston Churchill. the novelist. was
talking about awkward and unusual