Los Angeles herald., 1905-10-19
BARGAIN PRICES
What The Little Bird Overheard While
Keepinu Quiet

The following seasonable dialogue has
been reported by the teeny little flliloc
bird with the eavesdropping and rub
bering habit:
! Her-And you figuring that I'll need q
new coat this year? 1 don't believe you
have given the matter thought. And
this is Just the time to buy furs.
They're just giving them away at this
season. This afternoon l saw the
cutest seal jacket, with high collar and
big reveres, and it was only $175.
And
Him-Gittout, is that so? Well, on
my way home this evening l saw the
loyeliest melton cloth close-WeaVed
split-tail autumn overcoat and the
price tagged to it showed that they
were just chucking it away, 1t was
| only $95. However, ] tagged 1t.
Her-That's it; try to turn everything
] ask you into what you consider a
joke Now, didn't you just as much as
tell me, when you bought me that
that you'd be sure to get me seal
| Jacket this year?
Him-Well l may have been smoking
a little last year, at that. 1 promised
| myself a whole lot o. things at the same
time, but they still look to be about as
far away as one-siXteenth of grain of
strychnine on the White Lot gazed at
Washington monument.
Her-Now, wait a minute. Look at
me, You don't expect me to wear that
common old $S7 coat again this WIN
ter do you?
Him. haven't got any expects COM
ing, ,except, that I sure expect to Ink
up that old ulster of mine again and
swash around in it when the raw
weather drifts around.
Her-Mrs. Kergrab, whose husband
gets only sixteen hundred, is going to
have a seal jacket this year. She's got
it all picking out, and she's Dragging
about it to me something awful.
Him-Uh-huh. Mrs. Kergrab meets
Kergrab in the disbursing office on pay
days, knocks him down and out with
gnarled club, takes his pay envelope
from him and when Kergrab wants to
get his shoes half soled he has to beg.
her fer the sixty-fVe cents for week.
Her-Well, / think she does perfectly
right, the miserable, drinking thing she
has for a husband, and
Him-She hasn't left Kergrab the
price of hooter of Swampoodle gin
for six months to my dead sure knowl-
edge.
Her-Wen, it's a good thing she
hasn't, so there, now Look at the good
use she puts the money that she saves
to-she's going to have a sealskin
jacket.
Him-Yep, and Kergrab will be
slouching and sinking down the back
streets in bum Paisley shawl, as like
as not.
Her-And if you weren't so selfish as
to spend every penny that you can rake
and scrape on cigars and
Hin-Stogies, six for five.
Her-And clothes
Him-Last suit, made to measure in
April, 50. 9S.
Her-And drinks
Him-One beer for lunch one on my
way home from office, ten skents.
Her-And poker
Him-Why, fury and shucks, didn't I
win 65 cents the last time l played,
four months ago?
Her-And betting on nasty old race
horses in handbooks-
Hinl-HaVen't made a bet in three
months, then it was one ace, and I came
near winning at that. Horse only got
beat four days and three hours.
Her-And thinking of nobody but
yourself
Him-Im thinking of having my rus
set low shoes dyed black SOS can get
the winter out of them.
Her-And here it will soon be chilly
weather, and 1 only need few little
things-that seal jacket, that's just dirt
cheap for $175, and a winter polo hat
1 saw perfect dear yesterday for $50
and I have been wanting one of those
gold chatelaine bags-Mrs. Kergrab has
had one for ever so long, and they're
only $2S now-and 1 saw an imitation
diamond swan the other day that was
only 1927, and you couldn't tell it from
genuine to save your soul, and what in
the wide world I'm going to do for
new tailor suit 1 don't know, and
Hinl-Hey, hold up! You've forgot to
mention that Panhard devil-wagon only
$500, and you need that so bad
Her-And you get eighteen hundred
year now, and that's plenty for me to
dress nice on, and
Him-Just about.
Her-But you don't want to get me a
single, solitary thing, so 1 can look de-
cent and hold my head up and not have
the life shamed out of me every time /
put my foot out of the house and meet
my friends, and-boo- -hoo-why didn't 1
marry a man that was somebody, as I
had so many chances to, instead of an
unambitious g-g-g-government c-c-c-
clerk who doesn't -
Him (clapping on haO-Well, there
she goes! Twenty-three for mine-skid-
doc!