River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-05-04

"Doves?" inquired the man to whom
the remark was made, involuntar1ly
gazing up into the cornices to see if any
of the white birds were visible.
Eyes, doves" repeated the guide.
"Cooers, hand-claspers, ear-whisperers,
eye-searchers, dark-corner hunters.
"Oh, you mean newly married people,
well, what did you think meant!''
said the guide. II haven't seen anything
like so many of them in all the 20 years
I've been prowling around this build
ing.
Il took finely feathered pair OF them
around the building the other day. They
were New York people, too, and you'd
naturally have thought that living IN
that cold-blooded town would have put
enough frappe in them to enable them to
be chilly and naughty and self-contained
when in the sight and hearing OF
whole lot of other folks.
''But they weren't chilly and naughty
with each other by the whole size OF
these grounds. They didn't mind the
Little Brighteyes me, either. You'd have
thought that / was the star pupil in a
deaf, dumb and blind asylum If you had
been around and seen and heard them.
1t was the most touching and tender
case of loves middle-aged dream That
ever came into contact with.
"Lucille, dream of my life,' said he, If
you persist in standing in that cruel
draft your little boy will go stark, staring
mad! OF what possible value would
your poor little bubbsy wubbsy's life be to
him if his ittie-bittie Lucille were to get
pneumonia and be carried away up to
the stars by the whitest angel that ever,
and so on-you can fill out the rest your
self, but that was the general line OF es-
gaping steam that the old boy let out.
"Never 90 mind, Oodzy-Woobzy,
she replied. 'Baby's not going to 'eave
her teeny-weeny Bubbsy-boy,' and SO
on, until, say, I'd have given $98 to we
been alone in the woods for about min
ute, so that 1 could bust loose and howl
like a wild man of Borneo.
They're not all cooers, though.
showed the scrappiest young couple
around the other day that ever nudged
alongside of. There wasn't a COO in
either of them, and yet l could tell by
their makeup that they hadn't been
married more than three days. You
know the way they're rugged: Man with
fearfully brand-new suit, hat, shoes
gloves and cane, and that wriggly, un-
comfortable look that some fellows wear
when all of their toys are right off the
hook; and the girl, too, with everything
new, from hat to spats, and looking as ii
she'd appreciate about ten minutes OF a
house-wrapper and slippers whole lot
''Well, this pair certainly carried the
brittle chip on their shoulders. They
seemed to be just a-hunting trouble with
each other, and came near spraining
my neck looking dreamily up into the
air while their scraps were in progress.
'It looked to me as if they'd got mar
ried on a bet or to get even with each
other for something.
"Iet's go up to the dome, suggested
the girl.
"'Not much said the man. I'm too
strong
"'Well, I'll go up alone, then,' said
she, batting her eyes wickedly.
"'Not to-day you WON'T said he, with
mean man sticking out all over the way
he said it.
"'Oh, l don't know said the girl
dreamily. Not that l haven't been UP
before few times
ooh, you have, have your chopped
the man. You never told me that, did
you? Who with I'd luke to know?'
"'You don't know, do your said she
with one of those slow smiles some wo-
men use to work man into states pris-
on with.
We'll, then they had it out some
more, I'm a-telling you. 1 went off into
a corner and pretended to be watching a
spider weaving web while the battle
was on. Then 1 heard gurgle or two
and it was all right-for a while.
About three minutes later l started
them for the sub-basement to show
them the machinery. The man made a
little stumble on the dark steps, and he
said ID
"'Do you know whom you are with,
pray?' inquired the girl, stopping stock
still.
'Er-unfortunately, yes,' he replied
and l began to hunt around for another
spider to take an interest in for spell.
"'Oh, WE'LL come along. said the bride,
after a pause. 1T is impossible for me
not to reflect, however that the last time
/ was here was not compelled to listen
to such language from
Look a-here,' broke in the groom,
want to know, and want to know right
now, who the COMPOUNDED, blithersng,
Miss-Nancy idiot was that you traipsed
around here with and so on, and was
reduced to the necessity of twirling the
pedals of bicycle that was tethered in
the corridor for the five minutes or so
that this mix-up lasted. / am wonder
ing yet whether that pair hailed from a
state where incompatibility of tempera-
ment' is loophole for a breakaway in
the high court of part-them-asunder.
"A few weeks ago had pair of Brit
tsh goo-gooers around who provided me
with an exceedingly queer pain.
They were making a tour of the
world. couldn't exactly figure how long
they had been married, but they certain
ly were as affectionate sketch team as
ever showed around. This sort of puz-
zled me, too, for I had always heard so
much about the reserve of English peo-
pie.
But with these two it was Agnes. me
own and 'Algernon, me love, from eel