davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1905-06-16
Each Days Supreme Event.

Every days work should be su.
preme event in every life. We should
come to 1t as carefully prepared as the
prima donna who is trying to hold the
worlds supremacy in song comes be-
fore her audience. Then our work
would breathe out the vigor and vi
tality and freshness which we put into
It. Then life would be glorifed, and
the work of the world illuminated,
transformed-O. 8. Marden in "Suc.
cess Magazine"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1905-06-16

Such a MistakeAPhysician-
ailment lies in the larynx, thorax and
epiglottis. Hooligan-Indade! An
me afthers thinkin' tn trouble was in
me throat.
Long Distance Appreciation.-Mrs
Jordan-Did you ever hear my daugh.
ter sing, Mr.. Johnson? Mr.. Johnson
oh, yes; 1 only live five blocks from
your house, you know.
Baby, the Biggest-Mr. Bigger,
Mrs. Bigger, and Baby Bigger, which
of this interesting family is the big
gest, and why the biggest? Answer
Baby Bigger, because he is a little
Bigger.
Excused.-I say, if you are SO aw-
fully smart at problems, tell me how
far off thunder is when you hear the
| first roll. Calculator can't do that,
sir. Crawfoot-You can't? Calculat-
or-No; I'm the lightning calculator.
A PUMA man driving in the coun-
try lost nut off his wagon wheel.
Meeting an Italian, he asked if he
had monkey wrench. The indignant
Italian wrathfully replied, "Me no
keep monkey ranch; me keep sheep
| ranch"
Convincing.-"Certainly, am sure
it's counterfeit note" said the re-
ceiving teller. 1T has one very notice
\ able flaw; it's in the paper" "But,
my dear man." protested the depositor,
'in these days you can't believe every
thing you see In the paper"
A Hint-Mr. Highlive Cooking up
from the paper)-Well, well! Won.
ders will never cease! They've got Sc
now that they can photograph in col.
ors. Mrs. Highlive (glancing at his
nose)-I think, my dear, you'd better
get your picture taken before the old
process is abandoned.
Exemplary Punishment.-A mother
brought her little son for his first time
to school, and said to the teacher
This boy O. mine is very delicate, az
he is afther fit of harmonic on the
loongs; but If he does anything bould
an know he will, bate the wan mex
|
He Won Easily-Mr Subbubs-
You know you're only talking non
sense. What do you want q couple O.
new gowns for? Mrs. Subbubs-Why
Mrs. Playne has got a dozen gowns
all Of them much handSomer than tn,
two or three that I've got. Mr.. Sub
bubs-Yes, 1 know. But a homel.
woman like that needs rich attire II
order to attract attention.
3 seizing the Opportunity Always,
advises the pompous person who ha
accumulated several millions, "alway
say, I WILL Never allow yourself t
be dismayed by the outlook! Over
come the outlook! That's the way t
t succeed" Zone, then,' comments tn
poor person to whom he addresses thi
homily, should always say, I will ?
q Eyes. sir" "And you always say it?
'I do" "Will you lend me half
n million to get my airship in runnin
order7"
Proved His Teacher Wrong.-Littl
Willie's father found his youthful so
holding up one Of his rabbits by tn
ears and saying to him: How muc
r. Is seven times seven, now? Ball." tn
t. father heard the boy say, "I knew yo
It couldn't. Here's another one: 81
IS times six is how much?" "Why, Wi
lie, what in the world are you doin
with your rabbit" asked the fathe
Willie threw the rabbit down wit
disgust. 81 knew our teacher wa
# wrong" was all he said. "Why, how
asked his father. why, she told L
q this morning that rabbits were th
5. greatest multipliers in the world.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1905-06-16

times than any 9TH
er man living. He
has lived on ocean
l i n e s for over
fifty ars and
though he is now
70 years old he
hopes to ma k e
many more trips.
He has crossed the
Atlantic S35 times,
or a total Of some
2,421,5 800 miles.
IL =
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1905-06-16
The Case of Jim.

Maw's calm from the milkhouse,
Calm stern:
Jim, yer lazy good fer nuthin',
Come an churn."
Paws calm from the cornpatch,
CALM loud:
James, yer hulkin', stupid loafer,
Time yer plowed."
Natures calm from the trout brook.
Calm whish:
"Son, yer poor tired, lazy feller, {.
Come and fish"
Stranger, if we just swapped places,
Pupt it clear,
Which of all the three a-callin'
Would you hear?
New York Sun.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1905-06-16
No Time Left.

winter wheat looking well?" he
asked of street car passenger who
looked like farmer
Dunno" was the brief reply.
"Good deal of snow out in the coun-
trfy
"Mebbe."
"Price of hay gone up any?"
"Can't say"
"But aren't you farmer, my
friend?"
Eyes, I'm a farmer; but this winter
I've been courtin' a widder woman
wuth $4,000 and I haven't had any
time to fool around with snow or hay
or anything else" e."-Chicago News.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1905-06-16
Method In His Madness.

Caudles-I was reading in the paper
this morning of man who sleeps in the
stable with his horse every. night.
Mrs. Caudles-What's the matter with
him-is he crazy?
Caudles-No, guess not. A horse
can't talk, you know.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1905-06-16
Same Old Plaint

The Lady-It seems to me these ber-
ries are rather small
The Peddler-I'm sure they have got
their full growth, ma'am.
The Lady-Possibly; but I'm quite
sure your quart boxes haven't got theirs,
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1905-06-16
Those Loving Girls

Miss Elderleigh-You may not believe
1t, but I refused offers from three diff
ferent men last month.
Miss Youngbud-O don't doubt it.
But what were they selling?
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1905-06-16
A Cautious Youth.

A very small boy was trying to lead
a big st. Bernard up the road. what
are you going to do with the dog, my
little manT" inquired passer-by.
.T-I'm going to see where-where
he wants to go, first" was the breath
less reply.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1905-06-16
One Good Feature.

Jimson-If there's one thing dislike
more than another it's a shallow man.
Samson-Yes, but there's one thing in
his favor.
Jimson-I'd like to know what it is.
Samson-A shallow man doesn't re-
quire as much watching as deep one.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1905-06-16

When couple gets married they
ought to be prevented from having
their pictures taken with her hand on
his shoulder for one year.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1905-06-16
His Preference.

Wife-Which of these photographs of
mamma do you like best, dear?
Husband-Let me see. Why-er-I
think prefer this small one.
Wife-Do you think it is better like
ness?
Husband-Oh, no; but it shows heR
dressed in a travelling costume.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1905-06-16

Probably the youngest general in the
world is a nephew of the late Shah of
Persia, a boy not yet IA years old. He
holds the rank of full general in the Per
sian army.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1905-06-16

Every thing else in the house is more
quiet when there is illness, but did
you ever notice the fmpudence of the
clock, which ticks all the louder? Z
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1905-06-16

Piso's Cure Is a remedy for coughs, colds
and consumption. Try it. Price 25 cents,
at druggists.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1905-06-16
Tho Polite Editor.

Caller-I have a little poem which
Editor (busily)-That gentleman eyer
there, sir.
Caller (genially)-Is he the literary
critic?
Editor (Holitely)-No; he's the boun-
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1905-06-16
CcitiCiSm.

Joe-What do you think of Miss Cob.
bleton? Fine intellect, Ell?
Fred-Yes; but her intellect isn't in il
with her conversational abilities.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1905-06-16
Why They Came Late.

Husband Gn hat and overcoat)-Good
gracious! Haven't you got your coat on
get?
Wife-It's all fixed except tucking in
my dress sleeves SO they won't get muss-
ed. I'll be ready in half an hour.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1905-06-16
Swapping Compliments.

Il have just inyented new sau-
sage" said the butcher, handing some
to the poet for him to try.
"Ahv exclaimed he, ''it is a poem
By the way, have you read my latest
poem"
Indeed, yes" replied the butcher
with light of appreciation in his
eyes; sit is a sausage. Houston Her
aid.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1905-06-16
HAS TRAVELLED 2,42I, 500 MILES.

Great Distance Covered by a Surgeon
on Transatlantic Liners.
DR.. ]. Fourness Brice, surgeon o.
one of the great transatlantic liners,
has crossed the ocean probably more
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1905-06-16

Mothers will find Mrs. winslow's Soothing g
Syrup the best remedy to use for their children
during the teething period.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1905-06-16
To Break In New Shoes.

Always shake in Aliens Foot Ease, powder
It cures hot, sweating, aching. swollen feet
Cures corns ingrowing nails and bunions. At
all druggists and shoe stores, 25c. Don't accept
any substitute. Sample mailed FREE. Address
Allen S. Olmsted, Le Roy, N. Y.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1905-06-16

EJfo Permanently Cured. No fits or nervousness
IIIO after first days of DR. Klne's Great Nerve
Restorer Send for Free Be trial bottle treatise
Dr.. r. H. Kline, Ltd, 93l Arch St. Philadelphia, Pa
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1905-06-16

Such a Observation-Disclosures
ailment lies in the larynx, thorax and
epiglottis. Hooligan-Indade! An
me afthers thinkin' tn trouble was in
me throat.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1905-07-05
SECRETARY OF STATE,
JOHN HAY DEAD.
Bade Good Night TO Wife and the Doc.
tors at Ten O'clock After One OF
the Best Days He had Had.
HE EXPECTED SOON TO LEAVE HIS BED.

Newbury, N. H., July John
Hav, Secretary of State, died to.
day at his summer home, THE
Fells," on the shore OF Lake Sun
apee. The hour of his passing
was 1925 o'clock this morning.
The last moments of the states
man were peaceful and the end
came almost without a strugyle le..
The suddenness of 1t all was
staggering. At the hour of II
all was quiet. In another mo.
meut nurses and physicians
found themselves summoned to-
the bedside. There had been a
collapse. Twenty-Five minutes
later all was over. So swiftly
had the end come that the dying
man passed away unattended by
all of the members of his fam
lIy, save his wife. The others, a
son and daughter, were summon
ed, but they reached the bedside
only to find their distinguished
parent dead.
The secretary yesterday had
passed the most comfor table day
since his illness began a week
ago. He was to sit up to-day
The patient had hidden his wife
and physicians oodnlght at 10
O'Clock last night. An hour later
he was sleeping quietly. Almost
on the stroke Of II the Secretary
was seized with a turn. He call
ed feebly and nurse responded.
The si3k man was breathing with
great difficulty. DR.. Scudder
was speedily summoned, and 1T
required but glance for him to
determine that the end was but a
few minutes away.
The household was aroused. -
The wife reached her husband as
he was breathing his last. The
son, Clarence Hay, and the daugh-
ter, Mrs. James A. Wadsworth,
of Genese, N. Y, hurried into the
sick room, but they were too late.
Death was caused by pulmon-
ary embolism, according TO DR..
Scudder. The patient did not
suffer great pain In his last mo-
ments. Aside from great diff
Guilty III breathing there was no
struggle. Stimulants were met
fectlve. The Secretary lapsed
into unconsciousness, and seem
ed to fall asleep at last.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1905-07-05
TO INVITE FIREMEN.
Meeting Of the Cumberland Valley VOlun.
teer Association will be Held Here
Next Year.

Chambersburg will have the
big May meet of the Cumberland
Valley Volunteer Firemen's AS
sociation next year. At meet
ing of representatives of the five
fire companies of town in the ar
bitration room of the court house
on Friday evening, presided over
by A. Lincoln Shafer, president
of the Juniors, it was determined
to invite the ASSOCIATION to come
here. This decision was reached
after reports from the Doc mers
had been heard and it was found
that the $4,000 necessary is guar.
anteed. Efforts to make it most
successful affair will now be pros
ecuted. President Shafer said
to. day:
eve want to make it the most
ausplcious gathering of firemen
ever held in the Cumberland Val
ley. There will be prizes In plen.
ty and 1t will be our aim to make
one of these, that for the best.ap-
pearing company, large enough
10 arouse lively competition.
There will be reel races, engine
contests, prize drills and other
features that cannot help but at
tract all the firemen between
Harrisburg and Winchester. /"
The meeting was IN session until
$50 o'clock. Another meeting
will be held on July IA, at which
committees will be appointed and
a program mapped out.-Valley
Spirit.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1905-07-05
WELLS TANNERY.

W. l.. Sprowl and wife, George
Sprowl and Miss Bessie Johnson
are visiting Mr.. and Mrs. Vanall-
man, of East Sharpsburg, Blair
county.
Miss Jessie Wishart, of Pitts
burg, is visiting friends here.
Mr.. While MCGOWAN, Andrew
Fore, and Mrs. George Comerer,
of Burnt Cabins, were in our val
ley part of last week on bust.
ness.
Ella Sipe, OF Saxton, Is visiting
relatives here.
Mrs. Morris Bivens was in
Hustontown Saturday.
The kitchen part of the dwell
ing on the farm of ID. b. Sipe,
occupied by Bert Barnett, was
totally destroyed by fire Sunday
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1905-07-05
Mrs. Louisa Hixs0n.

Mrs. Louisa Hlxson, widow of
Enoch Hixson, and sister OF d.
II. Fields, Esq, Of this place, died
at the home of her son Charles,
in Brush Creek township, on
Sabbath morning, aged about 76
years. Two weeks ago she was
stricken with paralysis from
which she never recovered. Her
funeral conducted by her pastor
took place on Tuesday. Inter
ment in McKendre M. e. church
graveyard.
The deceased was a member of
the M. E. church for many years
and passed away IN the hope Of a
blessed immortality.
She is survived by two sons,
Charles, of Brush Creek town
ship; Watson, of lllin ois, and one
daughter, Alice, wife of Silas
Fulton, of Bedford county.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1905-07-05
Snyder.

A very pretty wedding was
solemnized at the home of Mr..
and Mrs. Jacob I'll. Snyder near
Pine Ridge, Bedford county, on
Wednesday evening, June %,
1905, when their only daughter
Miss Elva Grace Snyder became
the wife of Prof. j. Willis Barney,
youngest son of Rev. and Mrs. j.
II. Barney, of Clearvllle. Both
of the contracting parties are
we'll and tavorably known in the
communities where they live.
Prof. Barney is rising young
man IN the educational world was
principal of the High School last
winter at New Paris taught a
successful normal this summer,
and will teach at New Paris the
coming winter. Miss Snyder is
also one of Bedford county's most
successful teachers.
The marriage ceremony was
performed by the groom S father,
Rev, J. III. Barney.
The bride was tastefully attir
ed in white silk, and the groom
wore the conventional black.
After the ceremony the guests
were invited to the dining room
where a sumptuous repast was
served.
The bride received many beau
tiful presents. The guests from
distance were Mr.. and Mrs.
Emmu of Philadelphia; Mrs. Mil
Ter and daughter of f'rostsburg,
Md.
The brides maid was Miss l..
Hollis Barney, sister of the groom
and Mr.. John w. Diehl, grooms-
man. On Thursday, June Goth,
an informal reception was ten
dered the happy couple at the
home of the groom, to whlch'none
but the relatives of the contract
ing parties were invited in con-
sequence of the illness of Mrs.
Barney.
Mr.. and Mrs. Barney start
cut on their journey of married
life with the good wishes of their
many friends trusting that their
future may hold for them nothing
but success and happiness.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1905-07-05
Reyiyes Memories Of Former DAYS.

Mr.. Walter Aller, of Grand
Junction, Colorado, in sending
the cash to advance his subscrip-
ton to the News, says: at has
been nineteen years since / left
Fulton county, but the Fulton
County News brings back to my
mind old friends and associations
in way that gives me much
pleasure"
What the News is doing for
Mr.. Aller, it Is dong for many
hundreds of others-former resi-
dents of this county, but who are
now scattered throughout almost
every state IN the Union.
No more acceptable gift could
be made to some distant friend
than years subscription to the
News; or, if you do not feel like
doing that, sending him a sample
copy and writing to him about
the News would bring him in
touch with the paper, and he
would do the subscribing him
self.
Leave the names and addresses
of any of your friends at this Of
fee, and we will be glad to send
them sample copies.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1905-07-05
GREAT DAMAGE BY CLOuDBURST.
Terrible Storm in Lancaster County, Penn
syIvania, Inundates Houses.

Lancaster, Pa, July IA cloud
burst flooded the valley of the
Chlckies creek between Mount
Hope and Mannheim, this county,
and did thousands of dollars dam.
age to crops and farm buildings.
The storm broke at Mount Hope
on the South mountains. For an
hour rain fell in torrents, causing
the Chickies creek to overflow It's
banks to a great distance. Kel-
ler's dam and the White Oak dam
between Mount Hope and White
Oak, were washed away and sew.
eral bridges submerged. The
dwellings, of Adam Dlehm and
Whltmyer were almost covered
by water. The families were res.
cued from second-story windows
IN boats.
Inc damage was greatest IN
and about Mannheim. All the
houses in East F'russian street
are half submerged.
The bridge across the Lancas.
ter turnpike was washed away
and the bridge and tracts of the
Lancaster and Mannheim trolley
road are under water, cutting off
communication with this city. A
wooden bridge was torn loose and
smashed against the Philadelphia
and Reading railroad bridge near
Mannheim.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1905-07-05
THREE MILES IN rs MINUTES.
Aighted Easily on Top of Teu-Stoly 0f'
flee Building With the Machine I'M
der Absolute Control.

Toledo, June 30. The most re-
markable flight ever made N an
airship was performed to-day by
A. h. Knabeushue, who sailed
through the air a distance of
three miles, landed on top of a
ten.story Office building In TWEEN
tyhve minutes from the time of
starting, and then returned TO
the spot from which he started.
The day was ideal for the dar
ing feat. A light wind was blow
ing from the east, and Knaben-
shue sailed his aerial craft direct
ly in the face of the wind. Two
days ago he declared he would
sail down town and alight on the
top of building. When he left
the starting place he directed the
ship straight for the city.
When half the distance had
been covered an upper current of
air carried him up to a distance
of 5000 feet. But the nervy dI-
rector did not lose control of his
machine for a moment, and steer
ed it directly for the heart of the
city. Business was entirely sus-
pended and the entire population
gathered IN the streets to watch
the course of the ship. When
directly over the skyscraper Kna-
benshue directed his craft down
ward and alighted on the build
ing with the ease and grace of a
nird.
A round of applause greeted
the daring navigator who was
less excited than any of the spec
tators. After examining the
ship to see that 1t was all right,
and receiving the congratulation
of his friends, Xnabenshue start
ed on his trip back and going
with the wind he made the re-
turn voyage IN fifteen minutes.
He declares his present ship is
far superior to other ships that
have been navigated.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1905-07-05
BRUSH CREEK.

Charles Lodge and John Jack
son, who have been attending
school at Wllliamsport, are home
spending their summer vacation.
Grace Lodge, Ida and Grace
HiXson returned to their homes
last week from ShlppeL sburg,
where they have been attending
State Normal school.
Prot. Watson Hixson was call.
ed home from Illinois very sud
denly by the serious illness and
death of his mother Louisa Hlx.
son.
Mrs. Martha Mumma, who has
been in very poor health for a
mum Der of weeks is somewhat
better.
Amos Hixson attended the
com mencement exercises at the
@. V. S. N. school last week and
returned home with his daughter
Grace, who was one of the gradu-
ates at the close of the term.
Quite a mber of the young
people of our valley attended the
ChlIdren's Day services at Gaps
vile last Sunday.
Amos @. has been spending
sometime in the valley in the
home of q. d. Hixson.
The farmers Of our valley have
been very busy the past weel
sowing buckwheat, plowing corn
etc, and getting ready fer har
vest while others have already be
gun harvesting.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1905-07-05
School News.

w. Don Morton, gradu ate of
G. V. N. S., is at home for an In
definite period of tune. We all
join in congratulating him on his
success, and wish for him a
bright and prosperous future.
A number of the Normal stu
dents headed by Prof. B. @. Lam
berson, our worthy instructGr,
gathered at the home of Elk Judge
Peter Morton Friday evening
and joined in games and other
amusements until a late hour
when refreshments, consisting
of ice.cream and cake were serv-
ed, after which in the "wee"
hours of the morning, the guests
departed, each feeling sit was
good to be there"
w. w. Hoover spent Sunday,
the guest of Roy Morton. Come
again, there must be some at
traction, "Billv."
Frank Haiston called on Que of
our fair young ladies Saturday
evening. Come again, but share
that candy with the boys.
lFourth of July is here; let us
all put forth our utmost efforts
to make the celebration of this
anniversary memorable and so
inspire the people as to make the
hearts of all feel a sensation of
love for Liberty.
Examination times are fast
coming this way and then Will be
heard the tusy scratch Of pen
and pencil. If we must sweat,
let US keep COO! brain.
Peter Morton and wife attend
ed commencement exercises at
the 9. V. s. N. $. last weei.
A STUDENT.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1905-07-05
The Fourth at Hustontown.

The fourth was a gala day at
Hustontown. Early in the morn
ing crowds began to arrive in
wagons, buggies and on foot un-
til the street and grove was crowd
ed. AT $50 o'clock the Fantastic
parade, accompanied by the Dark
town Band appeared and was a
success in every respect, and was
applauded all along the line.
Addresses were delivered by
DR.. A. K. DAVIS, Hon. John p.
Sipes and Rev. B. A. Salter.
A game of baseball between
McConnellsburg and Hustontown
resulted z to 5 in favor of Huston
town-seven innings being play
ed,
In the evening a fine display of
fireworks was given. The order
was good throughout the day. 1t
Is SAID the P. o. S. of A., realized
quite a nice sum from the excel.
lent dinner and supper served.
We have heard of no accidents
occurring to mar the pleasure of
the day. The Hustontown and
Clear Ridge bands furnished
music for the occasion.