Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-11-15

counts he was a terror to snakes.
He killed his mother and wife and
some other acquaintance to provide
amusement for Rome and declared
himself god and an inspired poet
and song writer and every time
company came he took up his lutte
which he made out of fence board
and some binder tw1ne and sang
and played some of his pieces. 1t
is said that's what killed his poor
mother He played and sang for
Lygia and Mrs. Nero got jealous
and there was the dickens to paw.
Then they had feast and Marc got
drunk and tried to hug LygIa and
Ursus pasted him on the jaw and he
landed on his sitdownicum SO hard
that his false teeth rolled under the
sofa and he was left in state of
wild dishevel.
Xxx
Lygia and Ursus were Christians
and sought refuge with the brethren
while Marc crawled from under
the sofa and the feast went on.
Nero staggered in with his eyes
BACKED from too many Roman
punches and started to read a poem
on the burning of Troy but was too
drunk and turned the job over to
Petronius. 1t didn't just suit Nero
SO he decided to set Rome on fire to
get the proper effect. He winked
at stage hand who proceeded to
burn a shovel of calcium back of
the scenes and the supes howled
and groaned and Rome burnt up.
While it was burning Nero played
the lutte and sang like stuck hog
and there was wild confusion. He
was supposed to fiddle but he
played SO wretchedly that it was
feared the audience would think it
an overture by the orchestra so he
cut the fiddle out and played the
Lutte. The people of Rome were dis
pleased at Nero an account of the
fire and would probably have tarred
and feathered him if he hadn't laid
the blame on the Christians and had
thirty thousand of them arrested.
Lygia was among them and Pet
rOnius tried to save her but Nero
told him to go kill himself and he
dragged his tragic feet across the
carpet and calculated II have lost?"
like man who had bet four Jacks
against royal flush and the
curtain went down with the
pretorian guard heaving Christians
to the beasts. 1t was bully!
~
1t was intended to tie some Chris
tlans to iron pillars and burn them
at the stake in the last act but the
explained that owing to the
scarcity OF Christians in Iowa and
the discrimination IN freight rates it
would be necessary to cut that act
out. | heaved d sigh Of relief. I
was afraid all the time that they
would run short and come down in
the audience and nab me. They re-
served Lygia and Ursus till the last.
They intended to tie Lygia on the
horns Of a wild bull and then have
Ursus twist it's neck in a grand spec
tacular rescue act. But unfortunate
ly the bull drank bucket of Blatz
beer which Nero had ordered the pre-
torlan guard to smuggle up the back
stairs and after few blats it fell out
OF stage window and broke it's back
on the coalhouse. AS they couldn't
import another bull from the Ligur-
ian stock yards in time for the next
act they had to rig up a substitute.
The substitute consisted of a large
canvas bull and lifesize pasteboard
Ursus. Ursus was made in two Sec
lions with a pivot at the waist line SO
that while his feet were firmly plan
ted the upper portion could be made
TO sway from side to side. The bulls
neck was similarly constructed so
that with proper light effects it really
looked like man and bull were strug-
Cling for mastery. 1t was quite spell
binding till the machinery slipped a
cog which caused Ursus to stand on
his head with the bull in his arms.
That spoiled the grandeur some. In
fixing the machinery a stage hand
touched the wrong button and Ursus
braced up and rung the bulls neck as
It 1T were a chicken and threw it's
head behind the scenes. After that
left.