New-York tribune., 1905-08-28
THE TALK OF THE Day.

At recent dinner OF the Geodetic Club. Professor
ShaIer. OF Harvard. told the following story him
self:
Il still remember mental slip made nearly thirty
years ago when in Washington attending large
educational conference. I was alone in the hotel
parlor waiting for two OF my friends. when a
rather short. bearded entered and, seeing me-
advanced to shake hands with cordial. Glad to
see you, Professor Shaler.'
AT the moment I unable to place him, and
had to confess my lapse of memory. I explained
that was meeting many people that could
not remember the name of each. though the face
might be very familiar.
HE smiled and said he quite understood. and
drew out his card. On II was engraved General
Ulysses s. Grant. and then understood why his
face was so very familiar
Canadian farmer noted for his absent-rninded-
ness. went to town one day and transacted his
business with the utmost precision. He started
conviction that he had forgotten somethingswhat I
Il was he could not recall try how he would AS
three times he stopped his horse and went care
to discover what he had forgotten In due course
he reached home, and was met by his daughter.
Why. father. where have you left motherT'-
An oklahoman who thinks he knows more about
yellow fever than the scientists has peculiar
theory TO explain it. He believes the disease is
spread by mosquitoes that have gone mad. The
hot weather affects the insects much as it does
dogs who contract hydrophobia-
BIRTHDAY SONG.
The morn is bright. the skies are clear.
The lark awakeS and chantfcleer
Explosively proclams the anniversary
OF the glad day when I was born
And be. I'm told. terror to the nursery.
The Thsrs Solemn S5s tG nUbs6P WhSm birthday S5ngs
of Age OSiD In 4
dg and " weep tbs to 3 think In that man must grow
(My own contemporaries. too confound themD
And there be those whom such a date
Serves only to nfuTlate
n9 1sTa we ever TQd and hollow
And darkly their natal dav
AS the prime cause of all they have to swallow
Myself, do not hold with these
nis r3nTrN vale se,9 Of ., Tears % has much TO please
The fact is neither here oGra not 10 tbeTe srSu0ie
If Lies the Bubble they declare
1t seems very decent sort Of bubble.
, Nor do /. like my craven peers.
Just when the. Joys Of life are fairly started.
MeTey because us T Tm%Ro. pTRS''fo forsooib toghn
I don't acknowledge that it has departed
True. that the carping ey. may trace
Some lines on my engaging face.
But what Of Of them? Their cause IS very simple;
These p are f thq paces I1P GRS %6sre 5ePs sm mfe
And those-weI. any one can tell dimple
The polished argent of my crown
But many head that's prematureIy thinned owes
It's losses to the tropic hat.
You could not call really fat
Not fat-G know. from looking into windows
But thor what boots the outer skin?
And hilarious turn Of mind
That and my innocence combined
Has kept me young and eminently sprightly.
Wherefore o pious Morn 10 Thee
Be greeting And hope TO see
many returns both prosperous and pleasant.
And adj, ere or,6e the day has gained his height.
~tPunch.
Don't stop your paper because you don't agree
with the editor" says a Central Missouri weekly
That cabbage you sent US didn't agree with US
either, but We didn't drop you from our subscrip-
tion list" The proper treatment of the editor
in case like this would seem TO be 10 send hin,
another cabbage. That would be revenge
French writer tells how Pekiug is lighted as
follows Eighty thousand ESQ 4O is assigned
each year for street lights; the official in charge
takes icGoo his share, ana gives the rest TO a
subordinate. This latter hands over 0oOO 10 his
inferior, and on. until the original sum Is re-
duced to few copper cash, given 10 a coolie 10
buy oil aHG wick these are placed on a plate al,
the ground. A heggaT comes along and drinks the
o-and such is the lighting of Peking."
a New Excuse.-There was man in Atlanta who
with the of his wine cellar especially WITH
Gded TO adopt measures to verify his suspicious
lie allowed the demiiohn holding his private
stock TO become empty then. instead of refilng II
ne placed his pet brand in bottles. labelling each
ono poison"
One evening on returning home Unexpectedly
ne caught his servant lin hagrante delicto.' SELF
Ing the bottle from the darly's hand the Atlanta
man exclaimed In tone OF terror. Great heavens,
sam! DO you know what you have been doing?
IAls bottle Is marked poison
Ihe negro took the bottle, and surveyed closely
linen ne shifted at II. a melancholy smile fitted
SIa Ms uushy counienance. " 'TRin't pZen. sah'
ne SSa'I deJectedly. Use been fooled az in
FOoied aeaine" repeated the master Indignantly
What do you meane' - 9
W Ell san, continued the darky. in the same
tone or depression, Ii am dis waV knoWed from
de fust, from the way YOU acted 6out dst ieroIt,b
dat you had yo' suspishuns OF me; an dat shO
uias n.e iecI pretty blue. distressed,
1mh care why. sab, 70 mos two weeks now
Use been trying To commit suicide outer dat hot