The Topeka state journal., 1905-07-01
HUMOR OF THE DAY

Who owns that painting?''
1T is mine now"
wen done"
But I'm not the artist. am the buy-
again say well done"
DO you mean. sir, the picture or mar
Chicago Daily News.
Mamma-of course you said: 'soh. this
is SO suddenr' when Tom finally pro-
posed.
Daughter-No; / fully intended to. but I
AT lastr-Chicago Daily News.
,Patience-why does he object to mar
Patrice-He says he does not beissvs
that two can live as. .cheaply as one.
Patience-Suggest that if he marrfes xoa
there will be only one.-Yonkers States
man.
Notwithstanding what you say about
Kraftie,s' said Goodart, 'ihe seems to be 4
@loyal Icy fellow He appears to keep in with
He should be kept in with then,.. re-
piled Crabbe. Most of his friends are in
jail. Philadelphia Ledger.
Piggmus-Hers's an advertisement that
guarantees to make antique furniture out
OF new. 1t says 1t can take furniture right
out of the factory and make it look one
hundred years old.
Dismukes-That's nothingi My two
They've already done II with the parlor
set.-Washington Life.
Faddy-Grimes tells me he is not A can
didate for any office Ali he wants. he
says. is to make an honest living.
he isn't a candidate for office. Strange
that a man will waste his breath l,tterfng
sen-evident truths.-Boston Transcript
Why" said he. does a woman enjoy
going to the matinee and crying about
II don't know said she. why does a
man enjoy going to ball game and get
ions do not affect him in the leastSs.@ TS's-
Washington Star.
Flatbroke-I'm sorry can't pay that
bill now-youIl have to wait a while. And
Id like suit this spring, too.
one omorrow.-cleveiand Leader. " SCI :
Don't you hire any servants at all to
tim Of the sumner G hotel aHla."eo ad." 'he VIC
the nS tn@ bsni9 Hr 'ne deoased
vertise: Swept by ocean breezes? Town
and Country.
An excited Londoner met friend out
side public house in Whitechapel These
pointing Behind him. hi ha1s gone euoIsiS and iH
suited me. Now. just watch me 50 in
and kick them ali into the street. one af-
they come through the door"
The friend stood and watched. Present.
~ q UuAilin from WnfZZSd Dy MIN, and
fell with a cruel smack in the gutter.
"Onei" he called.
Stop counting, you fool!'' cried the
other, as he arose in anguish, ITS rne!''-
Exchange.
Al say, old fellow. lend me f1ver,
win you?
B.-Sorry, but I'm not making any per-
manent investments just now.-Tit-Bits.
some subscriptions are due, and We must
eat.-Philippines Gossip.
Miss Topper-Oh, you men are so over
powering. I suppose if 1 don't say +syes''
you'll carry me away to the minister by
main strength.-Chicago News.
! Her Friend-Yes, my ancestors moved IL,
the pest colonial circles. They were Tor
| les, you know.
| The Colonial Dame-Yes? Then, dare
say, my ancestors helped to keep them
mOvinE.-Puck
| Jigson-He bought parrot to teach the
! child to talk.
| Higson-What's he looking for now?
| Pigson-Trying to find something that
| will teach his child to reform
Now tell me, great PSYCHOLOGIST
You know it well. I trow-
Why goeth yonder farmer
With a darkling, clouded brow7
III tell thee, gentle student
The answer is quite plain
He goes with darkling c1ouded brow
Because he wishes rain.
Columbia Jester.