davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-17
DRAWING UP WILLS.
What Lawyers Will Do and What
They Don't Like to Do.

That it takes a smart man TO
draw will Is an adage the respect
for which in the legal fraternity is
evidenced by the fact that few law
yers want to furnish visible evidence
Of their part in drawing up wills.
1t is perfectly easy for man to hire
a lawyer to draft his testament, of
course, no matter how complicated
i;s provisions may be. 1t is quite
another thing to get the lawyer to
witness it. lie will not even allow
clerks in his office to do so, except
perhaps where the client is an old
or regular one. He wants him to 90
elsewhere to get the necessary at
testations. There are exceptions 10
this unwritten rule, it is true, but
it is pretty generally observed
Lawyers will not SO admit it,
said one of them, but the true rea-
son is they don't care to be identi-
fed with the instrument. 1t is about
us difficult an undertaking as law
yer can face to draw up will where
the requests are surrounded with
conditions that will close up ali
loopholeS to a contest. Most te>ta-
tors know how they want to dispose
of their estates, but it is exceeding
ly hard TO express their wishes in Il
way that will leave no doubt when
subsequently disappointed heirs call
it into question. The books tecm
with instances of the inability Of
smart men, some of them dislin-
guished lawyers, TO make will that
will stand under IA stiff fight. Law
yers naturally don't want to be as
sociated with a document that may
be pronounced bad, and so they are
unwilling to sign as witnesses or to
let their employees do ii. | sup
pose it to some extent argues lack
of confidence in their work. Any
how, the probation is of little use,
for invariably The lawyer who drew
it is disclosed in any litigation over
will"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-17
ESPIONAGE IN JAPAN.

DR.. Baolz. who was professor in
the medical department of the To-
kyo university for a quarter of
century and who is now back in
Stuttgart, gives an instance of the
espionage which prevails in Japan.
One of his best friends in Tokyo
was IL Russian ambassador. who
one day summoned him to his
house, as he was i'll. DR.. Baelz re-
mained with him two hours. \ few
days later war was declared. From
that moment the mikado and his
courtiers treated him with icy po-
liteness in place of the former cor
diality. lie finally succeeded in dis
covering the cause. \ local journal
had denounced him as a spy. He
went straight TO court and explain
ed the matter. The mlkado, con-
yinced of his innocence, promptly
begged his pardon and summoned
the editor of the journal referred
to, who also had to apologize to the
professor.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-17
The "Georcia Grindn

Colonel Anstruther was distress
ed. His st. Louis host had asserted
that Missouri was the garden spot OF
America for the production of wa
termelons. Being Georgian, Colo
mel Anstruther could not allow such
Il statement to pass uncorrected.
''Suh!" he exclaimed. Proof OF
the abundance of watermelons lies
in the facility foh eating them. Can
you show me, sub, man in Missouri
who has yet acquired the equivalent
of the Geo'gia grind::"
''The Georgia grind" demanded
the Missourian. ''What is that
THE Geo'g;a grind, sun, is the
ability to feed continuous and un.
broken line of watermelon into one
side of the mouth while emitting a
continuous and unbrokeR line OF
seeds, sub, f'om the othch side. The
mere development of that aht, sub
is proof beyond doubt that eo'gia
raised the most watermelons, sub" !"
outh's Companion.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-17
A SERIOUS JOKE.
II Was Almost Fatal 10 the Willing
Boy, but He Survived.

A business man in lower Broad
way is a practical joker of the most
rabid description. a few days ago
u youth of about fifteen walked into
his place, which is a wholesale store,
looked around curiously and ap-
preached the proprietor.
want boy?' he inquired.
Nope" said the man, who was
leaning against the doorway to his
private office pulling at u pipe.
Haven't you got anything boy
could do q
The man took the pipe from his
mouth and looked about.
4 guess boy could sweep up this
floor" he remarked.
Pm it," said the boy. He hustled
into the back Of the store, got a
broom, and in about fifteen minutes
had the floor as clean as that of a
dining room.
Anything else?" he inquired in
a businesslike sort of way.
"Nope," said the man, gazing far
out across the street. 'Much oblig-
ed"
The boy looked at him. Intelli-
gence appeared in his face and faded
away, to be resolved into disappoint-
ment, as one picture fades into an
other with dissolving view stereop-
ticon.
'I'm on" he said finally. He
walked slowly over to where he had
laid his cap and coat and put them
on. He glanced up at the man hops
fully as he passed out The man
was fixedly looking at something
across the street. The boy looked
back several times as he walked
down the street. There was nothing
doing. He reached the corner and
turned into side street. \ moment
later a hand was laid on his shoul-
der, and he turned to face one of
the clerks.
'The old man says here's dollar
for YOU, and stop reading story
| books" he said. whats the joke
The boy placed the dollar in his
pocket, and his face frightened.
''It's long story" he said, ''but
tell the old man for me that his joke
come pretty near being fatal.
However, he whistled cheerily as
| he walked away.-NpW York Press
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-17
Rapid Growth of Fungi.

The rapidity with which many, if
not all, fungi grow battles calcula-
ton. The great puffball, Lycoper-
don giganteum, will grow as large as
a peck measure in forty-eight hours,
and specimens Of Agaricus campes-
iris have developed from the button
of the size of a pea-to mush-
room as large as coffee saucer in a
night, but this great increase Is not
actual growth. These species are
many weeks forming under the sur
face of the ground. Their cells are
small and closely packed. When the
proper degrees Of moisture and heat
around this incipient fungus coin
eide, it rapidly absorbs moisture,
and stimulated by the heat swells to
its full size in a few hours.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-17
FOR THE LITTLE ONES.
Some Russian Riddles For Young Folks
to Puzzle Out.


Here are some riddles which the
boys and girls in gI>ia puzzle their
heads over. See how" w"many of them
you can guess without looking at
the answers:
l. | am blind, but show others
the way; deaf and dumb, but know
how to count.
2. People pray for me and long
for my company, but directly | ap-
pear they hide themselves.
3. | have four legs and feathers,
but am neither beast nor bird.
4. There are four brothers under
one hat.
3. -Four brothers run side by side,
but never catch one anotl. .er.
G. What walks ap-ide SSwn over
head?
Z. Who are the two brothers that
live on the opposite sides of the
road, yet never see each other?
s. A pack OF wolves ran by. One
was shot. How many remained
Answers: !, a milestone; 9, rain
3, feather bed; 4, legs of table
5, wheel of cart; 6, fly; Z, yoai
eyes; s, oue-thc dead one.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-17
Refused to Treat the Czarina,

The court physicians in Russia,
SAYS the London Lancet, have hith-
erto been almost exclusively Ger
man. Some time ago, when the
czarina was suffering from some af-
lection Of the throat, the czar sum-
moned a Russian physician named
Botkine.
When this doctor requested the
czarina TO remove the wraps from
her throat in order that he might
examine her larynx she declined to
do so, saying no doctors had ever
made such request. Dr. Botkinc,
who is an independent man, imme-
diatcly left her presence. The czar,
after hearing of the circumstances,
appointed DR.. Botkine court physi-
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-17
The Primitive Gun,

As soon as the forces of the explo-
sive gases developed by the burning
Of powder became known the old
style weapons disappeared, and fire
arms took their places. The first of
the kind was a small gun barrel fas-
tened to long pole and fired with a
slow match. Shot stones, balls of
lead, iron bolts and freballs to set
buildings on fire we're propelled with
this apparatus. Only a short distance
could be shot with these primitive
guns. The old and clumsy siege ma
chimes which threw heavy stones by
means of spring rope were chang
ed into siege guns.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-17
One Fifty miIIionth of an Inch.

In recent science nothing Is more
remarkable than the refinement
which has been made in instru-
mental measurements. DR.. p. E.
Shaw recently explained to the
Royal society an electrical microme-
ter which, it is stated, can be made
to measure the two-millionth Of a
millimeter, or the fifty-millionth of
an inch. This measurement, the
smallest ever yet made, was in con-
nection with the movements of
telephone diaphragm. The prob
lem was to find what movement of
the diaphragm produces a sound
which is only just audible. The
measurement was effected by means
of an electric current connected
with the micrometer and telephone.
London Standard.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-17
a Sensational Play.

A dramatist waited on the man
ager with his new play. "Bear in
mind,' he said, ''that the wife dies
of an attack of apoplexy, the hus-
band of cholera and the lover OF q
fit Of Indigestion"
"And is there nobody left for the
last scene? ?"
''No, but that is not all. | rely
on an additional and very effective
incident. While the spectators are
applauding the author the manager
rushes up to the footlights IN great
perturbation and announces that ne
has Just died through the bursting
of a blood vessel" !"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-17

Really these food reformers seem
bent upon taking all the JOY out of
life, at least that part of life spent
at the table. Not only do they want
to take away everything that has the
slightest SAVIOR to it and substitute
stuff that would make a horse quit
its nose bag, but they also desire
to prescribe time and quantity. An
eminent food reformer, writing to
New York paper, pleads, 'Let us
teach that an attack of biliousness
is as disgraceful and unnecessary az
an attack of drunkenness" Isn't
that the limit? Imagine a man be-
ing sentenced to the workhouse for
overindulgence in pie! - Kansas
City Independent.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-17
Poor Joe Chamberlain.

A Birmingham supporter OF 10
seph Chamberlain has taken the
trouble to collect some Of the names
that have been applied to that per-
son: "The art %l dodger," ''imperlal-
ist klave," political hamstringer,...
"great Panjandrum," 'mugwump,.. :.
"smug face imperial bagman, :,
Imperial trickster," ''hungry nose"
"Brummagem bagman," ''impudent
trickster," Gle factor" crafty
muddler," '1ying campaigner," 'lit-
tie loafer," "vulgar ranter," red
herring trailer" Colossal hum
bug" s'red handed despot," J" "bank.
rupt statesman" slippery fellow,
republic smasher.0
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-17
And In Boston Too.

Henry James, the novelist, mar
rated at a Boston dinner party a
conversation that he had overheard
that afternoon. ut was converse
tion," said Mr.. James, between a
young book clerk and an older one;
1t occurred in a bookshop devoted
to the sale of the most popular and
newest fiction. The younger clerk
approached the older anxiously.
say he whispered, there's a We.
man here wants Spencers poems.
is it Herbert Spencer's poems? the
more experienced clerk asked calm
". yes said the other. What
Shall | tell her" Tell her we
haven't got 'em,' said the other
clerk f"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-17
Dates of Great Inventions.

The air brake was invented by
Westinghouse in 1874; the torpedo
by Bushnell, l77T; watch by Peter
Hele, 1477; thermometer by Dreb-
bel, 1909; telescope by Lippersheim,
1908; printing by Gansfeisch, 1888;
microscope byrJansen, 1890; lithog.
raphy by Senefelder, 1898; light
ming rods by Franklin, 1859; gun
powder by Schwarz, 1920; balloon
by Montgolfer, 1888; barometer by
Torricelli, 1913.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-17
Qresden,s New Don Bath.

Dresden has developed a curious
idea. The public baths of that city
will shortly receive an addition that
is probably without parallel. The
new annex will consist exclusively
Of bathing establishments for dogs,
organized on the strictest lines of
class distinction. There will be first,
second and third class, subdivided
into swimming and single wash
baths. 1t is even grayely stated
that there will be a hairdressing de-
partment. Chiropody and massage
would give finishing touch of COM
pleteness to the scheme.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-17
The kaiser's Notched Sticks.

When Emperor William of Ger
many goes out shooting a keeper ac-
companies him and when the game
is reused sticks a fork in the ground.
The kaiser, it is said, places his gun
in the rest and handles the weapon
pistol fashion For everything that
is shot a notch is made in the fork,
and when it is covered with marks
a new one is brought into use. All
these forks, the notches on which
are a proof Of the emperors skill,
are carefully preserved in the kai-
scr's sporting museum as a record
of the bags lie has made.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-17
OLD FASHIONED FOLKS.
The Kind Of People One Hardly Ever
Meets Nowadays.

What has become of the old fash
ioned man who carried shot bas
in his pocket to keep change IN?
Who wore barn door trousers?
Who kept bootjack 10 pull off
his boots?
Who had his trousers lined with
unbleached muslin?
Who wore a long linen duster
when travelling?
Who carried an old fiat carpet.
bag?
Who creased his boots on Sun
day?
Who wore a shawl?
Who wore a watch cord with
watch key fastened to it:
What has become of the old fash
ioned woman who kept bodkin in
her workbasket?
Who baked custard for tea when
she had company:
Who made impressions around
the edges of pies with a key to make
them look fancy?
Who wore calico sunbonnets with
pasteboard Stats?
Who wore Shaker bonnes?
Who seasoned apple pie with all
spice?
Who used indigo to blue the water
when washing clothes?
What has become of the old fash
ioned people who poured tea in the
saucer and blew on it to make it
cool?
Who drink sassafras tea in the
spring to purify their blood?
Who had to learn to like to-
matoes?
Who saved old rags to trade oil
to the tinware peddler?
What has become of the old fash
| ioned novelist who always described
heroines as having dark auburn
ringlets hanging down their ala,
baster necks?
Of the old fashioned elocutionist
who read ''Widow Bedot Papers" AT
entertainments?
OF the old fashioned little gI!-
who wore long nankin pantalets?
OF the old fashioned woman who
gave catnip tea to babies:
OF the old fashioned young men
who creased their hair with bears
oil scented with bergamot?-St
Louis Post Dispatch.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-17
Hunting RIindfoId.

Hunting blindfolded is a simple
little game. One of the players is
blindfolded, and the others stand
about the rooms as they please. The
blindfolded one then walks or
gropes around until he touches "A
player, and the player touched must
then stand still and make a noise in
imitation Of some animal, say cat,
a dog, a COW, pig or horse. If
the blindfolded player wishes he
may have the sound made three
times, and if he then guesses the
name of the person that person
takes his place. If he does not
guess correctly he releases the play
er and tries again.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-17
Do You own a Flag?

Every household should own a
flag. Just as much as it should have
bed linen. The flag should not only
be owned, but put out on every oc-
casion on which there is the least
excuse. Patriotism is inborn, to be
sure, but lots Of inborn sentiments
need development and fostering
Love of country is one of the things
that we cannot bring out too early
or have too strongly demonstrated.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-17
A Bamboo Experiment.

The department of agriculture is
about to institute an interesting ex-
pertinent in BAMBOO growing in the
United States. The bureau of plant
industry in the department has Is
sued a bulletin on the possibilities
of growing certain varieties of that
most useful plant in this country.
That it Is by no means impossible
has been demonstrated in Califor-
MIA, where a small grove has been
successful, and by the numbers of
plants which flourish in private gar
dens. Ii bamboo forests are plant
ed here We shall not only have a
new source of wealth. but a new ta-
ble luxuryas we'll. The Young shoots
of the bamboo are considered great
delicacicS in China and Japan. They
are preserved in several ways and
it is said are also eaten as vegeta-
hln
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-17
Poultry Food AGENTS Wanted.

Agents wanted everywhere to sell
Pages Perfected Poultry Food. If it
is not for sale in your village. write the
manufacturer, G. S. Page, Hyde Park,
VT, for terms to agents. Agents take
no risk, as the food is guaranteed to
give entire satisfaction in every case,
and any not sold may be returned. II
is an article of genuine merit, and can
be conscientiously commended to poul
trymen.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-17
Riddles and Answers.
bridged.

When are rivers like noses? When
bridged.
I'm ever eating. never sleeping,
Never walking, always leaping,
Changing color with the light.
Yet I'm the same both day and night.
(The sea-
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-17
cannot bring herself to wet more
than her feet.

than her feet.
Suppose you suddenly make her
take her bath in spite of her fears.
Fold the picture at the lines AA
and BIB, and you will see Peggy in
the water up to her shoulders. En-
loving it too!
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-17
Ducking Pessy-A cut-out.

Peggy is shrieking because the
water is so cold. She thinks it too
late in the season for bathing anG
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-17
VOL. XXXlIl
ni.trict probate Court.

of said Court will DC held at
.H... .-e1ud Tuesdsy of october aud
ifi-.' .4 -.tg second Tuesday of No
hTr- r..4F WsSt concord he second
-ei -.s,d se.. and June. Lunenburi
ll''''. r...#lN rt January and July.
&c ........u- Aiil 1e held 1t any place In
the pi'-''-' ROBERT CHASE. Judge.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-04-12
StiItsIn the Desert

In The dricst deserts Of Arizona dwell
the Pupag) Indians. They are very
good Indians and quite civilized. llv-
Ing IN mud houses and doing their
cooking in outdoor kitchen in circular
Enclosures protected from tie wind by
grass mats fastened to sta..as and with
IL fire III the middle.
one popularity OF these In ans, who
by the way, are such formidable war
rlors that even the Apachcs are afraid
of them, Is that they elevate many
things upon stills. Their mall boxes
are ON stills, to keep them out OF the
reach Of the coyotes, which Will eat
Il letter if it has been handled by hui
man beings, and also because OF the
annual floods. Ii rains In that region
only about once a year, but then how
1t does pour. The heavens seem nc
tuallY to open and immense areas are
temporarily converted into lakes.
TO keep them out Of the reach OF
the floods and the coyotes mot to men
ton skunks the Papago chicken coops
are elevated high in the air Wteen or
twenty feet and at night, when Il IL
time to % to roost. the fowls fly up
and find perfect safety in their lofty
acrleS.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-04-12

Between A. H. 80 and $50 there
lived in China five remarkable sisters
named Sung. all of whom possessed
considerable literary tulent. and es-
pecally the two elder ONES They re-
fused to marry and devoted them
selves to literature, being finally re
ceived into the palace, where In due
course they all died natural deaths.
with the exception OF the fourth Miss
Sung. against whom charges of accept
ing hribcs were trumped up. the result
being that she was forced to take
sill" in other words. 10 strangle her
self
The eldest sister wrote book called
"Dscourses For Girls" based upon
the famous "Discourses'' OF Gonfuclus.
1t Is In an easy style of versiiieatlon
and IL generally suited 10 the compre-
hension Of the young:
When walking, do not look back
When talking. do not open wide your lips.
When sitting, do not rock your knees
When standing. do not shake your skirt.
When pleased. do not laugh aloud.
When angry, do not shout.
Do not peep over the outside wall.
DO not slip into the outer cuurt
When YOU go out veil your face.
When You peep. conceal your body.
with n man not OF tho family hold no
conversation whatever
Nineteenth Century and After.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-04-12

There are two standards OF measure
ment OF human lifethe one by years,
the other by achievement. Measured by
years, Sidney Lnnlers life of less than
twoscore was II broken column; meas
ured by achievement, his life Is not yet
ended-he Is immortal. Robert Burns
died at thirty Byron at thirty
six, Poe at forty, Raphael at thirty-slX.
Lanier at thirty nine. 1t Is whom the
gods love die young. And yet who
shall shy that the Scottish pillow boy,
or the author of "Childe Harold" or he
who sang of the Raven" or the paint
err of the TRANSPORTATION, or the com
poser OF Centennial Cantata," do not.
one and all, still speak to us In voices
whose echoes will command enraptur
ed listeners away down the centuries?
y
-LippIncottS
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-04-12

In giving his opinion Of China Cap
tain Faulkner of the artillery corps
epitomized the Chinese characteristics
so cleyerly that some OF his listeners
copied down his words,
China" said Captain Faulkner, is
a country where the roses have no fra
GRANGE and the women no pettlcoats,
where the lnborer has no Sunday and
the magistrate no sense OF honor where
the roads lear no vehicles and the
ships no kecis, where old men fly kites
and the needle points TO the south.
where the place OF honor Is on the left
hand and the seat Of intellect In the
stomach, where to take Off your nat Is
an ins0lcut gesture and 10 wear white
garments IL TO be in mourning. coun-
try which has literature without IN
alphabet and language without ~
grammar - London Globe.