The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-08-18

lot and the one nearest approae ehing , beeility Is, Can you see as much beauty in washing dishes and hoeing corn as in playing golf and the piano?" The "nro. tessor' clearly expects that the perfect canoidate for degree shall answer this question in the affirmative and thereby prove that he Is either a liar or destined for the foolish house. No man In his right senses is going to con tend that washing dishes is at all com parable for aesthetic results and divine afflatus to playing the piano. Nor is the drudgery of hoeing corn as exhilarating and edifyng as playing good game of golf when your luck is not bad. Esti- mable persons have been able to wash dishes and hoe corn with some degree of cheerfulness but there is no record to show that either one of these tasks is preferred to recreations which cater to the body and soul.
 When she finds time Madame Stegomyia is singing They're After Me-" referring to the sulphur singers and the oil can brigade in New Orleans.
 SOME YOUNG ONES.
 Oh, joy Oh. ectasyi
 Oh, what is this I hear?
 We're going to have some broilers mong
 The chorus girls this year.
 The fifth annual convention of the Ken lucky Funeral Directors association is being held at Louisville. The report that resolution had been adopted pledging support to the feudists of the state is erroneous
 The sports at Saratoga who are proud of their achievement in lifting the lid' appear very tame in comparison with the late Nero of Rome, Italy, who lifted the lid so high that it was not put down again until Trajan ascended the throne.
 A Pittsburg man who claimed that he was at the head of $20.00O,00O corporation was arrested on the charge of obtaining money under false pretenses. He was un- able to furnish a $500 bond and was sent to jail. That's high finance.
 The girl who spells her name Mae" is bad enough; the young women who perpetrate "Sadye," "Marye." "Mayme,"
 
 girl who desecrates one of the sweetest names In the language by converting Alice" into "Alys' is about the limit.
 Marshall Field of Chicago, sets an H. luminating example to his fellow million aires by paying taxes on $7s,OOO,OoO of real and personal property without complaint He has never made himself conspicuous by his facility in misstating facts to tax assessors and seeking to avoid his obli- gations to the community in which he resides.
 Have you ever stopped to consider how much more satisfactory mental work is when performed under an artificial light than it is when done in the day timer? asked an observant man. There is some- thing about the glow of a students lamp that stirs the brain and promotes men tai effort You will find that most brain workers prefer to labor at night and soine of the greatest literary achieve ments of the language were accomplished in the still hours when most people are in bed. There is much in the theory re- gently advanced that night is the best time for people who want to think" A. GAY THING. When he was wooing her he called The girl his little love, And swore she was the apple of His eye-his turtle dove. When they were wed she changed lot And. oft stayed out at night. While she was not a turtle dove She was a bird" all right. PAUL COOK.