davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09
cause you don't know what mo-

along, cause you don't know what mo-
ment some nation is going to mix"
"But what's the use of keeping
shooting at a mark all the time, by the
army fellers?" said the old man, with
a tired look. Nov, when the rebel
lion broke out, we didn't know how
to shoot, but we got there, just the
same"
Eyes, in about five years you got
so you could hit a confederate regi-
ment. if it stood still, but you couldn't
hit anybody IN the wing" said the
bad boy. "They issued guns to you,
and you looked them over as though
they were to be cut up into 'teaks.
and fried, and when you were cold now
to shoot, and fired into the air.
the old gun kicked you over, and
kicked you after you were down. and
broke a rib, and dislocated a shoulder.
When you got out of the hospital you
wanted to be detailed as company
cook, or nurse in the hospital, and they
could never get you near a gun again
for years, and when you did shoot
again at the enemy, you pulled the
trigger with your eyes shut, and I'll
away from the recoil, and never hit a
rebel, and 1t took eight carloads of
lead to kill one man. Now it $ diff
ferent, and the little guns the army
uses don't kick, and they shoot a little
bullet three miles, and when the Lul-
let hits a mar he is paralyzed until
the battle is over, and you nave got
to pick out a spot on a man, and hit
it, or be fined by the sergeant. That
an army or a navy. You got to hit
the bulPs-eye, and not the surround
ing country. The time for hunting
elephants with bird shot has passed,
| and you got to blow EN- up with dy-
Mantle, see?
"The boy who can hit a fly on the
wall with. a bean shooter is the COM
ing soldier, and you old jays that sit
around and kick about expense of
teaching our army and navy to hit
things they cannot see without a tele-
scope ought to be sent to an asylum
for in%curables."
"Now that you and your dad have
travelled all over Europe, and kept
your eyes and ears open, what do you
think is the best place for a man to
go who Is tired of his own country
and wants to settle down somewhere
and enjoy peace, and quiet, for the
balance of his life, without work, and
no feeling that he is liable to wake
up some morning and find that lie is
in the midst Of a war. What coun-
try would you advise an elderly mar
to go to, who wants to get way from
trouble, and just enjoy every day OF
the balance of his life?" said the old
man, with a peaceful look, as though
he was seeking a heaven upon earth
well, by ginger, you have got me-
said the bad boy, trying to think oil
the most peaceful place he visited
while abroad. The fact, is, we were
not looking particular for quiet
peaceful places, but for excitement and
rush, and trouble, and we got it, sure
l had thought that in Norway and
Sweden one could get plenty of peace.
sliding down hill in winter, on skis
and toboggans, but since we got home
II see that Norway has seeded from
Sweden, and they have got to fight. SO
| wouldn't 60 there. Ireland is about
as beautiful a country as one could
wish to be in, but in the cities every
body is rich. and they live high and
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09

her face, and false teeth and plumpers
in her mouth to make her cheeks
plump, and penciling her eyebrows, to
make her look young and kitteny. She
is. the same old lady, and saltpeter
won't save her, and make her young
and crisp again Ia piece of human
wilted lettuce"
DO you know" said the old man,
as he took a piece of wrapping paper
to wipe a drop of molasses off the
bosom of his white shirt, 81 am one of
the greatest thinkers in this coun-
try, and l sit here when there
are no customers in the store.
and do nothing but just think,
and it worries me the way things are
running, not only-in this country, but
everywhere in the world. Look at
the money that is wasted in these
sham battles, at target practice in
the navy, and this ere attack on
Washington by the army and navy
playing a Gosh durn it, why Cont
we discharge the army, and tie Up the
navy to hitching posts, and wait till
a real war comes on, and then rally
from the east and from the west, and
sock it to the enemy" and the old man
took a brush and busted off the coun-
ter.
Say, you only think you are think
ing when you get that way" said the
bad boy. Some people sit and
twirl their thumbs, and say nothing,
and look serious, and have lines on
their faces, and they look wise, and
think 1t amounts to something, but it
is only Indigestion, and when your
stomach does not work, the brain sort
of e~ffervesces, and when you turn on
the talking switch and say something.
1t is like opening a bottle of root beer.
cause 1t is all froth, and when 1t has
stopped foaming 1t is nothing but a
wet place on the floor, that smcIls of
sasparilla. You are one Of these root
beer thinkers, with a string over your
cork, and il nobody cuts the atring.
you finally get sour, and If the string
is cut, it is all over as soon as the
yeast is exhausted. You talk about
the expense of target practice. Why.
nowadays a navy, to be any good, has
to be able to hit a fly with a 16-inch
shell, on the turret OF a battleship
seven miles away, with a heavy sea
on, and the only way is to keep shoot
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09
BITS ABOUT MUSICIANS.

Caruso, the celebrated Italian tenor,
Is the son of a Naples engineer.
DIR. JOACHIM, one of the most ia
nous Of v~iolinists, recently celebrated
his seventy-fourth birthday in Lon
don. He absolutely refuses to write
his memories.
Paganini's violin rests In the old
town hall In Genoa. It lies upon satin
In a glass case, and has never been
played upon save by Sivori. and recent
ly by Hubermann.
Leonardo de Vinci not only put the
violin into the hands of his heroi1es.
but he himself played upon a unique
violin at the extremity of which was
q carved horses head.
Nine. Gadski sang the three Brun-
slides in an opera festival recently in
Munich with such effect that Prince
Regent Luitpold bestowed upon her
King Ludwig's Order of Art and Sci
ence.
S~arasate, the great Spanish violinist.
has a mascot in the shape OF a silver
violin. 1t is his belief that he could
not play in public without this charm.
but he has never dared to put this
superstition to the test.
Tamagno, the great Italian tenor,
who died recently, was noted at one
time for his p~enuriousness, but when
he returned to Vareso, Italy, he
changed. He built a villa which for
artistic beauty had few equals any
where, and entertained lavishly. He
finally gave the villa to his only laugh
ter as a wedding present.
The fact has just been made pub
lie that Dudley Buck, the eminent COM
poser of church music, has expiated
himself, and will pass the remainder
of his life in Munich. Mr.. Buck sailed
for Europe several weeks ago, but 1t
was not then disclosed that he intend
ed to remain abroad. 1t has been
known that Mr.. Buck was dissatisfied
but 1t seems extraordinary that, at his
age Che was born in Hartford, Conn
March 10, 1880, he should thus aban-
don his native country
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09
CONSTIPATION AND STOM-
ACH TROUBLE CAN BE
CURED
J. s. Jansen, President Of the Mil
waukee Retail Druggists Associa-
ton, Talks on the Dangers Of
Constipation and Stom-
ach Trouble.

"Have you noticed the large number of
cases of typhoid fever lately?" said Mr..
j s. Jansen to a Daily News representa-
tive. "To my notion typhoid fever, ma
larial fever, appendicitis and many kindred
complaints are the result of constipation,
which in many cases is allowed by the
patient to run along without proper treat
ment. You will remember when you were
a child and the doctor was called, his first
prescription was a dose of castor oil! All
physicians know the value of having the
bowels thoroughly opened. People, when
they grow up, allow constipation to be-
come chronic through lack of attention.
Constipation is the failure of the bowels
to carry off the undigested food, which
collects in the alimentary canal and there
decays, generating poisonous disease germs.
These germs find their way into the blood
by means of which they are carried to
every tissue. The fever thus created af-
fects not only the lungs, kidneys, stomach,
heart and nervous system, but in fact any
organ of the body is liable to break down
as a result. The blood becomes thin and
watery. The sufferer loses in flesh and
strength. Castor oil and pills will not
cure an affection like this. Something
more than a laxative is needed. There are
many physics on the market, and we sell
q BISdt ilduyS having ploDdDly VIC Illus,
popular store of the kind in the city. ]
do not often talk about manufactured
medicine, but the high esteem in which
Mulps Grape Tonic is held by the drug
and medical fraternities has impressed me
and I know from actual experience right
here in our store that MulPs Grape Tonic
cures constipation and stomach trouble
positively and permanently.
Mulls Grape Tonic is not a physic, but
it Immediately clears the bowels of the
decaying food because of the peculiarly
strengthening effects it exerts over the or
gans of the digestive system. As a tonic
il is superior to the nauseating cod liver
oil compounds. 1t builds flesh faster anc
creates strength quicker than any othel
preparation known to medical science.
The ingredients are positively harmless
made mainly from crushed grapes anc
fruits. Although a full bottle might bt
taken at once, no inconvenience woule
result. ! only wish that people paid more
attention to these little details, which il
themselves in the beginning are of so Sigh
Importance, but which grew in magnitude
until the most serious trouble and SOM
deadly disease fastens itself ON the con
stitution. There is really nothing easie.
to take than Mulls Grape Tonic. / hop
you, through the influence of your paper
can bring the readers to a sense of tn
gravity Of allowing constipation to becom
chronic.
WRITE FOR THIS FREE BOTTLE
TODAY.
Good for ailing children and nursing
mothers.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09

BY HON. GEORGE w. PECK.
(Ex-Governor of Wisconsin, Formerly Ed
itor "Peck's Sum-" Author "Peck's
Bad Boy" Etc.)
Copyright. 1905. BY Joseph B. Bowles)
The old groceryman was in front of
the grocery in his shirt sleeves. with
a watering pot in his hand, trying to
brace up some wilted lettuce that had
seer better days. After all attempts
had failed and the lettuce laid down
in its bed with an appealing look, as
much as to say: Don't inject any
thing, but let me die a natural death"
the old man acted as though he
thought the end had come. He had
just taken off his hat. and was gaz-
ing at his dying patient, when the
bad boy came up, and, with an under
taker look on his face, he took lis
hat and famed the lettuce, and said:
Friends who desire to take a last look
at the deceased may pass in the front
door, and retire by the back door. No
flowers; burial private"
Now, what you want to butt IN here
for, when | am having all this .rou-
ble?" said the old man, as he poured
out the remaining water in the
sprinkler on the dying salad material.
THAT is where the profits go. When
l bought that lettuce at the commits
sion house day before yesterday, it
was bright and crisp, with dew drops
on the leaves, and it cracked when |
handled it, and look at it now, Us linn
Der as a starched collar at a picnic,
and 1t wouldn't stand up if it wore
clutches. Gee, but if l had a patent
on something that would keep Lettuce
crisp until it was sold, / wouldn't want
no gold mine," and the old mar threw
the watering pot on the floor, and
sighed.
WELL" said the bad boy, as he tried
a few Strawberries off the top of a
box, trying to rejuvenate wilted let
tuce is like putting false hair, or hail
dye, on an old woman's head, and
putting oriental cream and powder on
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09
MILLIONS ARE SENT HOME.
Immigrants from Austria-Hungary
Sent Over $4s, 1000 600 in
Ten Years.

The immigrants to the United States
from Austria-H Hungary have sent back
to that country in the ten years between
1894 and 1903 more than S4S,0 00, 900. Of
this vast sum the immigrants from
Hungary sent back $31.l32,OSO, while
those from Austria sent to their rela-
tives SIG, 1892, $50. In 1894 the mount
sent back by the immigrants of both
countries was $1,327 500. This had
grown in 1903 to $40, 556, 900; in fact,
there has been a steady increase since
1894.
In addition to the sums sent into the
country through what are known in
Austria as "home banks" from Amer
lea each year, a large amount is remit
ted through American banks without
the Intervention Of Austrian or Hun
garian institutions. or in cash or postal
money orders. The entire amount re-
ceived in Austria-H Hungary in 1903 from
emigrants that had left that country
for other countries was 1872, 77S.004.
It is estimated that the Italian immi-
grants in the United States send back
to their homes annually a st:m equal to
about $780, 0O. 900. An indication of the
Importance Of remittances so made is
found in the business of Italian postal
savings banks with savings institutions
for Italians in foreign countries. But
the full amount sent into Italy annot
be kept track of in this way, for it is
we'll known that considerable amounts
are sent in paper money by registered
mail or are brought into the country by
returning immigrants. Fraudulent
banking concerns have caused great
losses to italian immigrants, both in
this and other countries in the past.
These were usually run by Italians.
To prevent all this an act was passed
in Italy in 1901 authorizing the Bank
Of Naples to take charge Of remittances
from emisrsnts, thus guaranteeing
them safety and regularityin the trans
mission of their money. This bank has
since established correspondence offices
for the management of emigrant bust
ness, there being Sc OF these offices at
the close OF 1903. A recent bill in the
italian parliament, providing for the
appointment Of resident agents in for
eign countries to manage the remit
tances of Italians failed to pass.
This immense amount Of money flow
ing into Italy annually from its emil
grants has already had a marked in
fluence In improving conditions Of liv-
ing, especially in southern Italy.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09
Rarr Smtrinr at1A
ttrr 9tntplr Etfr
By DIR. EDWARD "A. ROSS,
Professor of Sociology. University of
Pennsylvania.

yet half the children die before they are FIVE years old. Over 80 per
cent. of the men marry under 20 years of age, and nearly Is per cent. of
the women marry before that age. The result is a vast horde of people,
ignorant and unenlightened, that is constantly spread out over other
countries, seeking relief and carrying war with them. Russia hgura-
lively is buried alive.
Womens rights and the higher education of women is one of the
main causes of the decrease in the rate of birth. Women have been
admitted into the universities, and nearly every career to which men
are admitted is open to them. The professions are more attractive than
marriage, as it has been to some within their experienc. The remedy
for too great a reduction in the birth rate lies in the woman, but it is
not in closing the professions against her, but in showing her that she
is more capable of motherhood than any profession.
In this young men must play an important part; they must make
home life more attractive to women than the professions. Statistics
show that the families of college graduates are decreasing every year,
and if the rate keeps up there will soon be no one to attend them.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09
WEE WITTY BITS.

Our worst enemies are the friends
who have failed to find us profitable.
The cost of living doesn't trouble
those who can beg, borrow or steal.
1t is not necessary for a man to
carry a gun if he is looking for work.
A lot of energy is expended in try
ing to find out things we are sorry to
know.
A metropolis is a town of so much
Importance that it no longer has to
brag about 1t.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09

go to the Kelley cure, and then it
would be all off. In Italy you would
have to learn to play a tune on a
macaroni instrument, and eat cotton
seed oil from America, disguised with
an olive oil label, with every man and
woman carrying a butcher knife; and
in Germany you would have to be on
dress parade, and raise a beer stomach
that you would have to wheel around
on a wheelbarrow. Come to sum it
all up, my advice to you would be to
go to Zion City, give all your money
to Dowie, and take a hand-out of
bread and beans occasionally. and try
to look pleasant"
The bad boy paused. The old
groceryman had listened with great in
terest
Say" he said after a minute,
where is your dad going next trip?
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09
OLD FASHIONED FARE.
Hot Biscuits, Griddle-C Cakes, Pies and
Puddings.

The food that made the fathers strong
Is sometimes unfit for the children I'M
der the new conditions that our chang.
ing civilization Is constantly bringing
In. One Of Mr.. Bryan's neighbors in
the great state Of Nebraska writes:
II was raised in the south, where
hot biscuits, griddle-cakes, pies and
puddihgs are eaten at almost every
meal, and by the time I located in Ne.
braska l found myself a sufferer from
Indigestion and its attendant ills
distress and pains after meals, an al.
most constant headache, dull, heavy
sleepiness by day and sleeplessness at
night, loss Of flesh, impaired memory,
etc, etc.
II was rapidly becoming ~incapaci.
tated for business, when a valued
friend suggested a change in my diet,
the abandonment Of heavy, rich stuff
and the use of Grape-Nuts food. /
followed the good advice and shall al
ways be thankful that I did so.
Whatever may be the experience
Of others, the beneficial effects Of the
change were apparent In my case al.
most Immediately. MY stomach, which
had rejected other food for 50 long,
took to GrapeiNuts most kindly; in a
day or two my headache was gone, I
began to sleep BEAUTIFULLY and before
q week was out the scales showed that
my lost weight was coming back. My
memory was restored with the re.
newed vigor that I felt in body and
mind. For three years now Grape.
Nuts food has kept me IN prime condi.
tion, and I propose It shall for the
rest Of my days.
"And by the way, my 2h-year-old
baby is as fond OF Grape-Nuts as !
am, always insists on having 1t. II
keeps her as healthy and hearty as
they make them" Name given by
Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich.
There's q reason,
Read the little book 1.-THE Road to
Wellvills'' n DkgR
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09
A decreased birthrate

doesnot mean destruction
of the race. Call it race
suicide if VIC will. 1t is
a high birth rate that is
dangerous. Russia
proves it. There the
birth rate is barbarous,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09

Seems as though he would want to
stay at home long enough to change
his shirt"
Don't have to change your shirt
when you travel" said the boy, as he
slipped an imitation snake into the
side pocket of the old groceryman's
sack coat. but our next move will
be chasing ourselves around ou~ ma
tive land. Pas going to join The cir
GUS"
"Gee!" said the old groceryman, write
to me, won't you?" Sure, said the bad
boy, 81 will write you. Good-by. You are
a good thing. Push yourself along
and the bad boy went out to pack up
for another journey.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09
New Industry.

Agsnt-I will just leave this prospectus,
sir, and when you read it through care
fully, you will see that you cannot pos
sibly do without our company, if you
want to make sure of the future of your
wife and little ones.
Business Man-What's your specially
"We insure you against loss on your life
insurance policies. baltimore American,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09
ITCHING SCALP HUMOR.
Suffered fortunes Until Cured by
Cuticura-Scratched Day
and Night.

my scalp was covered with little PIN.
pies and l suffered fortunes from the
I was scratching all day and
night, and I could get no rest. I washed
Soap and and then applied ft the c Sai ra' ONT
ment and n cake Of C%uticura Soap
and and my ps' hair dsI is H growing psia Is sp pbsnfGtH .''A I
have used Cuticura Soap ever since, and
shall never be without it. (Signed) Ada G.
Smith, 300 Grand St., Jersey City, N. j."
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09

had kidney trouble so badly they were
agonized with pain in the back, head
and loins, rheumatic attacks and urin-
airy disorders. am gladto recommend
such a deserving remedy.
(Signed) MARCUS r. MAYER.
Sold by all dealers. so cents a box.
Foster.Milburn Co, Buffalo, n. Y.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09

Coquelin and other
famous singers and
actors, writes:
Gentlemen: I wish
as many suffering men
and women as l IAN
reach to know the ex-
cellence of Doan's
Kidney Pills. l was
greatly benefited by
this remedy and know
it cured several who
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09
Quality Brings Success.

Seven million (7,OOO,OOO) Lewis Single
Binder" straight &c cigars now sold an
nually. Made of extra quality tobacco.
Many who formerly smoked l0c cigars are
row smoking Lewis Single Binder"
Lewis Factory, Peoria, Ill.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09

The estimate that $500, 600, 900 a year is
spent in this country for amusements sug-
eests that there must be a lot of fun GO
ing on that some of us are missing.-In-
%dianapolis News.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09

The Bad Boy Visits His Uncle's Gro
cery-He Soliloquizes on a Dying
Lettuce Leaf-They Discuss Navies
and Wars-"If You Want to Rest"
Says the Bad Boy, "Don't Go
Abroad"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09

Not until it is all over can the editor de-
eide whether an automobile race shall be
printed on the sporting page or among the
days tragedies.-Baltimor Sun.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09

I~ntrospection ceases to be interesting
after the enthusiasts of youth have passed
of.-Broohvn Eagle.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09

I am sure Piso's Cure for Consumption
saved my life three years ago.-Mrs. Thos.
Robbins, Norwich, N. Y, Feb. II, 1900.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09

When a man has learned to get along
without pride or prejudice he has mastered
the greatest lessons in life.-Detroit Free
Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09

The genuine has a date and number
stamped on the label-take no other from
your druggist.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09
GRATIFYING PRAISE.
Letter from Marcus Mayer, the Great
Patron of Music and Drama.

Marcus R. Mayer, who brought to
America Nine. Patti, Duse, Salvini,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-11-09

BY HON. GEORGE W. PECK.
(Ex-Governor of Wisconsin, Formerly Ed.
itor "Peck's Sum- Author "Peck's