davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ordway new era., 1905-09-08
Morris Shot at Connecticut.

A young woman who has been en-
ployed in collecting material for n
man who is writing history found
something the other day which anus
ed her very much. as illustrating the
tender and brotherly feelings which
existed between the different colo
MES prior to the Revolution. 1t was a
passage in the will of Lewis Morris,
recorded In the Surrogates office OF
New York in the year 1850, and ran
as follows:
"It Is my wish that my son, Gouver-
neur. shall have the best education
that can be furnished him in England
or America; but my express will and
directions are that under no circum-
stances shall he be sent to the colony
of Connecticut for that purpose, lest
in his youth he rhould imbibe that
low craft and cunning SO incident to
the people of that colony, and which
are SO interviewer in their constitution
that all their wit cannot conceal it
from the world. though many of them.
under the sanctified garb of religion.
have attempted to impose themselves
on the world as honest men,"
Looks to me-" said the investiga-
tor. "as II old Lewis had had some
dealings with Connecticut people and
come out second best"
The Ordway new era., 1905-09-08
Uncle Sam In Dire Peril.

President Castro of Venezuela has
placed an order for $2.500.000 worth
of warships, big guns. ammunition
and other paraphernalia of war for
the purpose. he AYERS. of coming up
to this country and fighting the Yank'
ees. Poor Old Uncle Sam! With his
80 900 900 of people, his untold re-
sources of wealth. his squadrons Of
battleships, any one of which Is worth
more than the entire navy which Cas-
tro is capable of building in the next
ten years. what can Uncle Sam do
with valiant enemy who swoops
down upon him with $2,500,000 worth
of war apparatus and South Ameri-
can thirst for gore? He will simply ba
forced to capitulate and haggle for
the best terms obtainable from the
implacable foe.-Atlanta Journal.
The Ordway new era., 1905-09-08
soco Of tn. es,dhcaded Man.

Great Caesars classic head was bare,
And likewise Socrates:
Peter and Paul were forced to wear
Thin capillary heeces:
Shakespeare earth's literary king,
And johnson, Pope and Gibbon.
Being short of hirsute covering
Wore wigs tied deft with ribbon.
But Achan, J. lscariot,
Ananias (of truth chary).
Herod, the Pharisees wot,
All sported caputs hairy:
Later came Danton, Robespierre.
And Marat, bloody trio;
Guy Fawkes and Jeffries, Glencoe Stair.
Thick -thatched like fiddling Nero.
Nor will the eye, In sooth. oft see
Bald Hottentot or Arab.
Kamchatkan, aboriginee.
Kurd or man-eating Carib;
Nay, nay, but OF the human breed
The greater in earths story,
Are those who lead in thought and deed
Crowned not with hair, but glory!
Monroe Guy Carleton.
The Ordway new era., 1905-09-08
a aus Of Promise.

A few Sundays ago a well-known
minister preached in village church.
After the morning service. while
strollIng through the village, he came
across some small boys playing ball.
.My son." he said to one of them,
"don't you know that it is sinful to
play ball on the Sabbath day?"
"No, SIR" replied the boy. innocent
ut is, my boy, and very sinful" said
The minister. "God knows all things,
and He therefore sees you and will
puuish you for your sim"
.sDo you really believe. sir" asked
Tho -boy. s.that God knows everything?'
..Most assuredly." said the GOOD
man. As. -. q. Il, s. ).
haa rot ! COW r Y, sss'g' y, ]
III \. ss'of cuusss NJ dos. nv child 4
! I: - Z II qRhef3 IN ~ ieft, ~ t!la'
I n Sfsinlt ~ e6yi crisa 4Hs
The Ordway new era., 1905-09-08
NO ONE TO RUN IT.
Simple Explanation for Stopping Of
Alarm Clock

Alarm Clock.
An 1rishman who had been unoccu-
pied for some time induced his friend
Patrick to try to secure him position
with contractor. One evening about
n week later Pat went around to
Mikes boarding house with the news
that the contractor had granted Mike
trial.
But" said Pitt, "he is avery para.
ticker. and ye moost be sure to be at
the coffee by shar.r-p Oi'll git ye IN.
alarm clock and then yell be sure to
git up on tonne"
So Pat bought the alarm clock.
wound 1t up and set 1t at 6:so. 1t went
off satisfactorily. Mike went down
and worked all day. When he went
home at night he wound the clock. but
did not bother with the alarm. think.
ing that 1t would go off automatically.
The next morning he slept until S
O'Clock. and when he went TO the office
the boss gave him his pay and told
him to leave. Mike went home mad.
swore at the alarm clock and finally
took the back off. A lot of springs,
wires and wheels fell out. and. last OF
all. a dead cockroach tumbled over on
to the table. Mike looked at the roach
In surprise. and then burst out:
BE dad! No wonder the thing
wouldn't go off. The injineer is dead"
The Ordway new era., 1905-09-08
overworked Railroad Employees.

Is it not fair assumption that the
railroads would have fewer accidents
and kill fewer employees and passen-
gers II they never cut off thousands
of men from their pay rolls in year
of record-breaking traffic? When few
er men do more work it is likely to
be found that many are overtaxed.
On railroads that too often means IA
tai drowsiness at posts of danger, care
lessness from subjecting nature to ex-
cessive strain. American railroads
exhibit wonderful growth in business,
while they go from bad to worse in
respect to the protection of human
life. When is this fatal weakness to
be remedied. .ACleveland Leader.
The Ordway new era., 1905-09-08
R..I FOUNDER Of Family.

John Hauke. farmer living near
Williamsport. Pa, celebrated his nine
tieth birthday last week by finishing
four days Of harvesting, In which he
swung q cradle and kept up with men
less than half his age, Later he had q
family reunion. at which he danced
with his greatErandchildren. Mr..
Hauke ls the father Of twelve, Grand.
father OF forty1ix. and great-.rand-
father 81 thtrty.hine. IN of whom -
c1pt eevsn ~ stln iitiAg.
The Ordway new era., 1905-09-08
rHs JOCKEY AND rvs x,xe.
neyaIty Net Always Accorded eirst
Place In Life. IS.

Royalty Net Always Accorded Pirst
Place In LIE.
King Leopold Of Belgium told good
story on himself and Tod Sloan some
time ago which has Just found its way
into the French newspapers.
Il was dining In Paris restaurant" !"
said the most democratic OF kings.
"and ON looking around saw Tod
Sloan. the American jockey. whom I
had seen often riding at Longchamps.
dining In solitary splendor at the next
table. While waiting for my dinner
to be brought watched the little
American and saw him, after tasting
some fried potatoes that had been
brought him. summon the waiter an
grily and bid him take the dish away.
Now, had ordered fried potatoes
also. and ! had no difficulty In discov-
ering. when mine arrived with sus-
Hcious promptness. that the very
same dish Tod Sloan had disdained
had been brought TO me.
Il suppose" said listener. your
Majesty summoned the restaurant
man and had the walter discharged?"
"oh. no." replied the king. smiling.
Il tasted the potatoes. and l discover
ed that Mr.. Sloan was quite right.
They had been cooked with rancid
butter. and were very bad. But /
knew that II sent them away II
would seriously injure the business OF
the place. SO I went on eating them.
You see. therefore. that nowadays a
Jockey can AFFORD to be more partssu.
lar than king"
The Ordway new era., 1905-09-08
fEyER's AFTER EFFECTS
7 Old Net pisappsss Uesil ne 0eee1
Was ReneMed ~ ~. vtlMlamo'

Typhoid fever IL sometimes called neF
vous fever. During the oourss Of the
fever the nerves are always profoundly
disturbed. and when 1t u 0ter they arc
left NO sensitive that the patient has -
be guarded against all excitement. In the
tonic treatment then demanded, regard
must be paid not only to building mp fiesh
but also TO strengthening tho nerves. a
remedy that will do both. make sound
flesh TO repair waste and give now vigor
TO feeble nerves, il the most conventens
aud economical. Such u remedy II Dr..
Williams Pink Pills for Pale People.
One proof of this il the experience Of
Mr.. CHARLES Worth, Of East Vassalboro.
Maine. He says: I" I had severe at
tack OF typhoid fever lnte Ia the fall
which left nre very weak and debilitated.
My heart palpitated. my breathing be-
ame difficult after the least exertion aud
there was numbness i'll both hands. !
suffered in that way for fully six months.
AS did not grow out OF it, did not IN
fact see the slightest Improvement NJ
time passed, decided to use DIR. vii.
liams' Pink Pills as l knew Of some cure
they had effected in cases like mine.
"Almost ns soon rs l began taking
then, could see decided improvements
and after keeping on with them for
several weeks was completely well.
consider DR. Williams Pink Pills most
valuable remedy. and am in the habit
of recommending them to others afflicted
ns i was"
When the nerves ache and treln-
ble it means that they are starving. The
only way to feed them is through the
blood, and the best food is DIR. Williams
Pink Pills. They are absolutely guaran'
Ia lam
full drugs. They are sold by all drug.
gists. or may be obtained directly from
the DR. Williams Medicine Co., Scheneo-
tady, n. Y.
The Ordway new era., 1905-09-08

and iniefnable a. first, then taking
form-a curious form for a craft of
any kind. surface or submarine. 1t re-
sembled two salad bowls with edges
together. convex above and below. con-
cave horizontally for about twenty
feet from the termination OF the con-
vex curve. II was circular In a lateral
plane, without rudder. propeller. or
any visible means of propulsion; and
1t darted up close to the Vaquero and
stopped with suddeness which. with
its spherical upper body. identified 1t
as the strange craft interviewed the
day before.
"on the surface ahead of the
Vaquero was column of black craft
steering east that Ross had no diff
Guilty in recognizing as the Japanese
fleet. There were twelve OF them, and
the height of their bow waves indi-
Gated full surface speed.
Perhaps in the whole history of
naval war fleet was never sunk so
quickly. The speed of the Japanese
submersibles was at least twenty-five
knots an hour, that OF the destroyer
thirty-fve--a total of approach of six
ty. The column was less than mile
long. In less than n minute, and be
fore the leading craft had entirely dis
appeared. all had felt the touch of the
sharp. circular knife. and were dip
ping. rolling. or staggering, according
TO the nature and location of the
wound.
'Eut something seemed to have hap
pened TO the inyincible craft that had
wrought the destruction. AS Ross
looked at 1t he noticed that 1t had
stopped and was settling. Then he
| saw black spindle rise beside it
curve gracefully in the air, and dive
into the sea-"
The rest of the story is quickly told
The oil furnished the strange craft
was inferior and its use deranged the
! machinery Lieut.. Ross. however, was
able to save the huge. ball-shaped de
stroyer from destruction by himself
destroying the Fulton. the only sub
marine craft left in the Japanese leet
1t was the effect of the inferior oil
upon the machinery that prevented
! the strange craft from saving Its
| transports.
The story is fiction. but Mr.. Robert
| son, 1t is understood, has worked out
the plans for real submarine destroy
| er of the kind he has described. and
as his plans have impressed them
selves so strongly on the Holland com
pany 1t is not impossible that new
type of a warship may be given to the
world. type that will revolutionize
naval warfare.
The Ordway new era., 1905-09-08
An Amusing Error.

Many amusing blunders are made
by people in trying to use words with
which they are not familiar Some
years ago at sanitarium in New
York State one Of the physicians was
questioning patient regarding her
health.
How are you feeling to-day?" ask
ed the physician.
"Not as we'll as usual" replied the
woman, .for l was in catamount con-
dition last night for an hour"
The Ordway new era., 1905-09-08

knsational Serpentine Dancer.
Successful Tour of the World.
10 the Scene OF her Former
b.
announcement. in gigantic let
Keen on all the boardings and
|ng stations. 1t Is read with
Iby men about town who are
with the career Of the dia'
eked beauty. whose noto-
Is been far more profitable
little talents she is supposed
ss. 1t is read by hosts OF en-
hing "artistes" whose ambitions
kered on becoming a star In
aeville world. no matter what
And 1t is read early each
by one man-infirn. ragged.
old John Mnudsley-as me-
" he creeps along. toward his
business. idiotically mutter-
words of Thomas Moore:
be, broken In the rill,
turned aside. is sunshine
ll."
little sunshine had ever come
In Maudsley's life. Tho Office
he had worked since boy
BIN early morning until late at
ppeared to have been buried
bck OF big buildings for the
purpose OF shutting out any
Sys OF sunshine which might
De have striveE 70 penetrate
tlastingly unwashed windows
b of the publishing firm which
served long and faithfully
to have acquired the habit OF
|anything in the least resem-
nahine, probably as the result
systematically smothering the
Ind ambitions of budding au-
home which, with much hus-
OF his scanty income. John
5y had built up. sometimes
stray ray or two which fell
the smokestacks of the big
II house and tumbled down
haft, but even these were dead
bhn returned from his work.
b happened that the sun shone
Be a week for John. That was
Jays.
b during one OF the brightest
!, II summer time. that John
II little living sunbeam. A
10 seemed to make the sun
Fighter; to absorb the rays of
1t lifegiver; and to shed them
n the innermost recesses of
fellows heart. Then it was
began to dream wild dreams
his little home might be
led with a perpetual sunshine.
on tap, 60 to speak, when he
have known that 1t is a dam
experiment to bottle up sun
the feminine gender. In such
".
was who first called her Lit
hine." and when he had won
bent to illuminate his home, 1t
to him that henceforth every
bt be a summer Sunday.
was great gaiety in the here
dismal little fiat. both when
hs at home and when he was
his work. for the golden glory
little head must have sub
shine upon.
came to John what was the
of mysteries. 1t was no
1t was simply that while the
hole soul still circled around
st sweet sun, another lesser
love was born and shed new
|It hIftu fIfult,b, ~
The Ordway new era., 1905-09-08
caucht In the Act.

Rushing into the smoking car, an
old man cried excltcdly:
"a corkscrew! Who's got : cork
EscreWs'' Is
a score Of kindly hardg sought poe
pets ana 4 score Of kindl voices said (:
.sfsSsa you arle. sirs q X
VI f,3suxht ., /: shc1ted ~ old B.an.
y MI ii<Ij / III bsf1ft ~, sSnl d.
The Ordway new era., 1905-09-08

Dealers say that as soon as q Gus
toner tries Defiance Starch II Is Inn
possible to sell them any other cold
water starch. It can be used cold OF
boiled.
The Ordway new era., 1905-09-08

Johnny. thought told you not to
go outside the gate" "Yes'm, but you
said could play dog, and had TO run
an bark at wagon
The Ordway new era., 1905-09-08

Muggins-"Do you think women win
ever succeed in politics?" Buggins--
Certainly not. They would never puy
votes. They would just GO around
pricing them"
The Ordway new era., 1905-09-08
As.es.ssrai Wisao,,,

Our ancestors. 20 scholars say,
Were wont TO live In trees,
Where they might comfortably away
With every pasning breese.
They wore NO collars, stim and hot
They Stunned the fiery drink
In faith. II was n happy lot
To b missing link.
where branches screened them from the
4 = sky
And kept away the heat.
With wardrobes that were very shy
They dwelt In bliss complete
Now science answers to our call:
And yet sometimes think
The very rmartest OF us NIL
Was Grand Dad Missing Link.
--Washington Star.
The Ordway new era., 1905-09-08
Copyright 1905. by Daily Story Pub. Coz

LITTLE SUNSHINE.
knsational Serpentine Dancer.
Successful Tour OF the World,
10 the Scene OF her Former
The Ordway new era., 1905-09-08
TEA

In every package Of schnilng's Best re. IL .
'tict' How TO Make Good Tea
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1905-06-30
BRISTOL.
Wedding Of Miss May Gabriel
Munro to Mr.. william M0TTiS
Williams. .Other Matters.

4 pretty wedding occurred Wednesday
afternoon at 5l5 o'clock at the home OF
Miss Sarah NJ Munro corner OF Congre-
gational and Wood streets. when her sis
ter Miss Mary Gabriel Munro. we'll
known and highly esteemed young lady OF
Bristol. was united in marriage 20 VIII
liam Morris williams OF Providence Both
bride and groom were unattended the
bride being given away nv her sister. Miss
Sarah NJ Munro. The ceremony was per-
formed I'm the southwest parlor ~ the
Munro home. the happy couple standing
beneath a beautiful arch of evergreens
from the centre of which hung a foral
wedding bell and about which palms and
potted plants and decorations Of daisies
were arranged In an artistic manner.
The double ring service was used and
the ceremony was performed by Rev. q
l.. Locke. ". n. rector " 81 Mchaels
church. The bride was gowned I'm white
silk mousscllnc de sole and carried n
shower bouquet OF brides roses The we'd
ding party entered the parlor TO the
strains of the wedding march from "Io-
hencrin" played upon the piano by Miss
Louise Doyle. and az the close of the GER
emony Mcndelssohn's wedding march was
played A wedding breakfast followed the
ceremony and \ reception was held from
$50 80 ei5 o'clock 40 which Mr. Edward
= christie acted ne usher and tho bride
was assisted by Der sister, Miss Sarah NJ
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1905-06-30

Murno, beautifully gowned In violet-color-
ed muslin, received their many guests
from Boston. Providence, Fall River
Newport and Warren The happy couple
were the recipients of many beautiful and
useful presents including a handsome sill
yer tea service from Babbitt Post. No. Is.
@. A. r. The brides father was a highly
esteemed member OF the post and his
memory is still in the minds OF his COM
rades. The newly welded couple left on
the 6.i5 train for their wedding tour and
upon their return will reside at So Congre-
gational street
The new advertising electric car put in
commission by the management OF Cres-
cent Park and which is To make tour OF
New England towns during the SUM er
visited Bristol yesterday afternoon and
attracted considerable attention as II
passed through the compact part OF the
town 10 the terminus OF the suburban
road on High street The Banda Napoli
was aboard and rendered several selec-
tions during the short stay.
The funeral of Captain John A. G.
Gladding will be held tomorrow afternoon
from his late residence on Bay View
Heights Babhtt post Of which he was a
prominent member will attend in body.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1905-06-30
HOLY MOSES
IN RED FEz
CARAVAN

Palestine Temple. Ancient Arabic Order
OF the Mobiles OF the Mystic Shrine. held
its annual outing down the bay yester
day.
A business session OF the temple was
held at 1880 n. m. and 30 candidates in
itiated. this process continuing through
out the day whenever an opportunity Of
fered was afforded
Then came the parade of the red fez
caravan 10 the boat with Noble Chares r
Bennett astride Holy Moses, the shrine
camel
About zoo Shriners boarded the War
wick a stop was made at Fields Point
for lunch and at 100 O'Clock the party
proceeded down the bay as far as Conani-
cut Park and then returned TO Prudence
Park. landing there az Z o'clock
The Fort Adams band led the parade
from wharf TO Casino where light
luncheon was served as n bracng prelim-
mary 90 n ball game in which umpire
Noble Horace Knowles was the feature.
Five innings were played, score i3 10 ~
The winners had as n battery Allie
Poarce and Ellery Pearse. Charlie BEN
nett, Jimmy Thurston and ]. Fred Par
ker took care OF the sacks
An incident which partially marred the
pleasure of the day was the accidental
explosion OF cannon cracker which
wounded visiting Shriner. Charles "a
Hartwell NJ Southbridse. Mass. and a
member OF Aleppo Temple. Boston His
hand was painfully lacerated and also his
right thigh The accident happened at
Fields Point Drs Parker. Buxton and
Griffin gaTc temporary treatment and a
little later he was taken 10 the Rhode
Island hospital
The committee IN charge ~ the outing
consisted OF H. George " Grant. ex-of-
ncio III Joseph =. Burlingame chair
man; III. Andrew J Ferguson. III Robert
/ Spencer and MOBILES T. Percy Davis
Clayton A Ballou Fred l. DAM and Ben
jamln II. Moulton
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1905-06-30
EAST PROVIDENCE
Funeral Of Luke 7. Wall in St.
Mary's Episcopal Church.
Two Men Fined for Drunken.
ness by the District Court.

The funeral Of Luke T. Wall was held
at st. Marys Episcopal church yesterday
afternoon the Rev. II. c. Dana offictat-
ing. The church was we'll filed with
the friends Of the deceased, and Howard
lodge. Knights of Pythias, OF which the
deceased was a charter member and in
which equalization he took a lively in
terest. was largely represented, the lodge
furnishing bearers for the occasion. The
interment was az Carpenters cemetery.
where the solemn and impressive burial
ceremony Of the Knights Of Pythias was
performed.
COURT NOTES.
At the session of the Seventh district
court this morning two men were ar
raigned for being drunk. 10 which both
pleaded guilty and were fined 81 and
costs. each one OF which had sufficient
amount OF cash to settle.
MINOR MENTION.
At the office OF Town Clerk Smyth yes
terday and last evening l2s names were
added 10 the list OF the registered voters.
The John Armstrong estate on the
water front has been leased by In
dependent oil company. who will at once
begin to erect a storage plant
The watering cart on its first trip yes
terdav morning broke down and was out
OF commission for the day. 1t is In good
condition today.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1905-06-30

BRISTOL
ARRIVES

Shortly after the noon hour yesterday
the ferryboat Bristol, which is 20 ply
between Bristol Ferry and Bristol. ar
rived in the harbor and was greeted by
everything on the bay that had any
means OF making noise as well as by
the whistles OF the factories in the city.
The boat has just come from the yards
at Wilmington. Del. where II was built
by Pusey & Jones Co. in charge OF Capt
Chase OF New York. who surrendered
her TO Capt A. G. Crandall She will
be inspected by the local inspector, Capt
Wilcox. and c. A. Potter. who will over
look her machinery. The engineering
department. OF the boat will be in charge
OF II. l.. Smith OF this city
The Bristol is a frst-class ferryboat,
with steel hull. and is ll3 feet in length.
has draft OF six feet, and is very high
out OF the water.
Like the New York ferryboats. she is
a double-ender with special protection
for her rudder from ice I'm the winter
time The upper works are all composed
OF wood. and the boat is equipped with
a tubular water boiler OF horizontal type,
and has a steam pressure OF 90 pounds
The craft Is registered at the custom
house as of 2s3 gross tons. The chief en-
gineer is II. l.. Smith, who was formerly
chief engineer of the Sycamore, and who
will have a crew of four or Ave men TO
assist him.
The Bristol came direct from Whining
ton. Del, leaving there last Tuesday,
having good weather all the way, and
not stopping al any port. The boat made
good time considering the fact that the
engine was new. and made an average
OF five miles an hour. The speed the
craft made on her trial trip was nine
miles an hour. There are double cabins
for men and women. all the latest i'm
provements as 10 fre pumps for protec-
ton against fire. life preservers, and the
boat is equipped with electric lights In
every part. beth on the main deck and
the superstructure. She carried yester
day. when she came in. a United States
ensign, a burgee, a Jack. and flag,
bearing a coat-of-arms,
The superintendent OF the Newport and
Providence Railway, w. j. Jones. saw
the boat when she came into Bristol yes
terday, and Is pleased with the craft and
thinks that she is frst-class In every
particular The Bristol is painted white,
with different colored trimmings above
and below The pilot houses. one at
each end, are OF large capacity. well
equipped with wheels, and have provision
for steam heat in the winter time. There
are electric flashlights electric search
lights. and many other things that are
a convenience to the public.
The boat will not be placed In opera
ton this week on account OF her long
trip from Wilmington. Del