Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-12-28

THE STORY TELLER.
BI.AINE'S FIRST JOKE.

JAMES q. Blairr's first public joke is
thus recorded by his biographcr, STAN
wood.
In the canvass N Maine in 1856. he
made his first appearance on the stump.
lie d:strustcd his own power rs a public
speaker. urtil he found. after several
meetings. that his audience was after
tive ard Interested. and that he could
think clearly and express himself easily
while on his feet. lie introduced one of
his early speeches with story.
Gal Hamilton narrates that he went
to Pennington to hear Senator William
Pitt Fessenden speak. and with no inten-
ton to speak himself. But MIR. Fessen-
den did not arrive in time, and some OF
his Augusta friends put him forward to
take the platform. He likencd his situa.
tion to that of n farmer who had a hOrs"
| for which nc asked five hundred dollars.
A horse trader offered him scvcnty-iivc
dollars for the animal. "Its A devil of
a drop" said the farmer, but I'll take
it, The story and the speech that fol-
lowed greatly pleased his hearers.
RAILROADS.&C. IN THE WEST.
| A New Yorker travelling in the West on
business was obliged to journey to II
mining town in Colorado by the only rail-
Iroad in that part Of the STATE. says Har-
!por's Weekly. The train crawled along
at n snail's pace. to the intense rrita-
ton of the traveller who was on urgent
business. Finally, when a stop was made
at . small station. and no one either
boarded or aliehted from the train, the
passenger could stand it no longer. Call
;v,,r 4 ,a he
the cause of the delay.
IT'S all right, pard." exclaimed that
official: Its to oblge the station agent
here. He wants a mug " hot water from
1.-THE engine to shave with.
|ONE on THE ATTORNEY GENERAL.
'Wherc does that fellow got Off" in
CURED IA passenger on thu $50 train
Monday evening. says the Brattleboro Re-
former.
AT Brattleboro." replied the man on
the seat ahead.
"There's bug house tlore. I believe,
said the first speaker, ,no wingly.
YES" replied the man Oh the seat
ahead and guess the attendant will be
glad when he can get the fellow into a
padded CELL -
rupted man from Brattlehoro. that pair
on the front seat
! YES" answered the stranger.
The man from Brattlcboro tried to keep
from laughing "a he said: That's At.
torney General Fits and Roliin Childs
discussing the Mary Rogers Case
BETTING ON A StRr. THING.
Nobody rides in the subway unless he
has to-" said the man who is always or
the point of putting through a big deal
but never quite does it. All the bankers
and brokers who can afford it have thcil
own autos or so home in cabs-that is
unless they live in Jersey. It's 100 pei
cent. more comfortable. and should say
almost as quick.
| Il don't agree with you." said his
friend. land I'll make a bet with you tina
~. =. Morgan prefers the subway to :
cab. electrical or otherwise
IT'S a 60 replied the other: 'bu
how arc you going to prove it?'
Easy enough" said the man who hat
proposed the het. Just look around anc
you'll see him swinging to a strap nea,
the back OF the car"
The joker looked hastily about, and
sure enough the inancier was there. Ther
the conversation took another turn.
CLANCY'S HORSE IN A RACE.
A noted man in Springfield was Michae
, Clancy. contractor. who had become
rich. He bought IA string of horses ant
entered them for the Saratoga meet. III
; raced his horses for the fun of it. anG
rarely bet. One day he had horse en-
tered that seemed 60 have so excellent
, chance to win that he bet $40 on it.
, When the horse got away Clancy stoot
, in tine grand stand watching them through
his field glasses. som" of his friends
knowing Of the 80 bet. crowded abou
and begun to joke him.
c "Where's your horse now" Clancy wa
asked.
/. Clancy surveyed the field carefully :"
G lcant quite make out" he replied
r whether he is last in the third race o
a first i'll the fourth