The Topeka state journal., 1905-08-03
Arizona "Drinks.'

| Arizona Drinks"
| The following is a partial list of the
varieties of whisky now in stock in
| Tom bstone:
Common whisky, the kind that kill
ed father at the tender age of SO.
| Sporting whisky, the kind that
makes the game rich and the player
go the limit.
Business whisky. the kind that
makes fellow who never had any
every corner and submit a $1,000, 900
| scheme.
Mysterious whisky. the kind that
causes your neighbor to lead you away
around behind the Gragoon mountains
with an air of profound secrecy, then
confide something to you that was all
over town the day before.
Social whisky. the kind that causes
a man who has known you for ten
years and has never spoken to you to
single you out and make a conhdant
of you.
knowing whisky, the kind that
swells the absorber thereof until the
wise guy Solomon is on the bum.
Roaring whisky. the kind that sud-
denly sets the quietest fellow in town
to vociferating and swinging his arms
in unoffending space.
I Fighting whisky, the kind that gets
action on a coward.
Crying whisky, the kind that sudden
! Iy overcomeS its victim with every con-
ce1vable species of pathos and makes
of him pitiful spectacle.
Bad whisky, exceedingly scarce, the
kind that makes a man quiet, sullen
and dangerous.
Loving whisky. the sort that causes
him to draw near. put his arm around
your neck and emit a breath in your
| face that would drive a turkey buzzard
away from dead coyote.
/ There are several other varieties in
! Tombstone, conspicuously honest whis-
Ex k< ~
debts when under its influence, then
| kick himself about it when he gets
sober; then the brand that causes him
to do the agreeable to everybody he
| meets on the streets, then go home and
lick his wife, until the neighbors inter
fere.
Loquacious whisky. which makes a
man run off at the mouth whether he
| has anything to say or not-Tomb-
stone (Ariz.) Prospector.
Col. Barron's Change of Heart.
| The following story is told of Col.
Asa Barron. whom old time patrons of
the Crawford house will remember as
the proprietor of this famous resort in
the White mountains.
Henry Ward Beecher, while on one
of his pleasure trips, found himself at
the Crawford house one Sunday morn
ing in July. The colonel. meeting his
guest on the veranda, proposed a walk,
| to which Mr.. Beecher agreed.
Col. Barron inquired If Mr. Beecher
would not like to see his hogs, of
which he was very proud. Mr.. Beech
er, who was very fond of live stock
said he would be delighted, and they
1 turned aside toward the pens AS
these were much higher than ordinary,
1Col. Barron called one of his men to
drive out the hogs for his guest to see.
| The driving commenced, and with
very impatient grunts at this unwont-
ed disturbance the drove was at last
brought to view, except one old boar.
Hearing his frantic rushes and pro-
testing grunts. Col. Asa, who thought
the world of his hogs, straddled the
muddy entrance of the pen, and,
stretching himself within as well as he
could, cried: Careful, Jim. Don't
hurt him. Take your time with him.
| But at this moment the boar, with a
sudden turn. dashed for the entrance,
and rushing between the knees of the
astonished colonel, upset him into the
Shiny entrance way, dressed, as was his
| custom in summer in a suit of white
| flannel.
When at last he regained his feet,
the colonel was a sight to behold.
Jumping up and down in his wrath, he
fairly yelled, his sentences punctuated
with marks of emphasis of which he
is said to have been a master. xiii
| himi - - - kill fainnl''
When Mr.. Beecher finally regained
control of himself, he remarked: ''Well,
colonel, it appears that the devils are
still in the swine. Boston Herald.