The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-12-01
BARGAIN R
From the Washington sta,..

From the Washington Star.
The following s~easonable dialogue
has been reported by the teeny little
illilloo bird with the eavesdropping
and rubbering habit:
Her-And you figuring that I'll need
a new coat this year? I don't believe
you have given the matter a thought.
And this is just the time to buy furs.
They're just giving them away at this
season. This afternoon I saw the cut
est seal Jacket, with high collar and
big reveres, and it was only $175. And
Him-Gittout, is that SO? Well. on
my way home this evening I saw the
loveliest melton cloth close-waisted
split-tail autumn %overcoat, and the
price tagged to it showed that they
We're just chucking it away. 1t was
Her-That's it; try to turn every
thing ask you into what you consider
a joke. Now, didn't you just as much
as tell me, when you bought me that
common old coat for $37 last winter.
that you'd be sure to get me a seal
jacket this year?
Him-Well, l may have been smok-
ing a little last year, at that. I prom
ised myself a u lot of things at the
same time, but they still look to be
about as far away as one-siXtietl of
a grain of strychnine on the White
Lot gazed at with the naked eye from
the top of the Washington
Her-Now, wait a minute. Look at
me. You don't expect me to wear that
common old $37 coat again this win
ter, do you?
Him haven't got any expects COM
ing, except that l SUR expect to ink
up that old ulster of mine again and
swash around in it when the raw
weather drifts along.
Her-Mrs Kergrab, whose husband
~ fyyfNrt, ,,I- g. -
have a seal Jacket this year. She's
got it all picked out, n she's brag-
ging about it to me something awful.
Him-Uh-huh. Mrs. Kergrab meets
Kergrab in the disbursing office ON pay
days, knocks him dow and out with
a gnarled club, takes his pay enyelopo
from him, and when Kergrab wants to
get his shoes half soled he has to beg
her for the 65 cents for a week.
Her-Well, I think she does perfect
ly right, the miserable, drinking thing
she has for a husband, and
Him-She hasn't left Kergrab the
price of a hooter of ~Swafnpoodle gin
for six months, to my dead sure knowl-
edge.
Her-Well, it's a good thing she has
MT, so there, now! Look at the good
use she puts h money thai she saves
to-she's going to nave a sealskin
jacket!
Him-Yep, and Kergrab will be
slouching and Sinking down the back
streets in a bum Paisley shawl, as like
as not.
Her-And if you weren't so selfish
as to spend every penny that you can
rake and Scrape on cigars and
Hinl-Stogies, six for five.
Her-And clothes
Him-Lasts suit, made to measure in
April, $9.9S.
Her-And drinks
Him-One beer for lunch, one on my
way home from office, ten skents.
Her-And poker
Him-Why, fury and shucks; didn't
I win 65 cents the last time I played.
four months ago?
Her-Arid betting on nasty old race
horses in llandbooks-
Him-daven't made a bet in three
months, then it was one ace. n I
came near winning at that. Horse only
got beat four days and three hours.
Her-And thinking of nobody but
yourself
Him-rm thinking of having my rus
set low shoes dyed black SOS I can get
the winter out of EN-.
Her-And here it will soon be chilly
weather, II 1 only need a few little
things-that seal Jacket, that's just
dirt cheap for $l75, and a winter polo
hat-I say a perfect dear yesterday
for s30-and I have been wanting one
Of those gold chatelaine bags-Mrs.
NGISIdD HIS lidu OllC lOF ever SO Ong
and they're only $2S now-and 1 saw
an imitation diamond swan the other
day that was only $27, and you couldn't
tell it from genuine to save your soul,
and what in the wide world I'm going
to do for q. new tailor suit I don't know,
and
Him-Hey, hold up! You've forgot
to mention that Panhard devil-wagon,
only S18,500, that you need so bad.
Her-And O get eighteen hundred
a year now, and that's plenty for me
to dress nice on, and
Him-Just about.
Her-But you don't want to get me
a single, solitary thing, so 1 can look
decent N hold my head up and not
nave the life shamed out of me every
time I put my foot out OF the house
and meet my friends, and-boo-hoo-
why didn't 1 marry a man that was
somebody, as I had so many chances
to. instead of an unambitious g-g-g-
government c-c-clerk who doesn't-
Him (clapping on hat)=Well. there
h goes! Twenty-three for mine
skiddoo!
Good congressman.
From Harper's Weekly.
A representative in congress from the
west tells Of an a no1Sipu ac,,o. .,.l...l,