Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1905-12-21
sToRIETTES.

STORIETTES.
A tramp, walking down city street
one day, saw a little boy stoop and
pick UP something. "You have made
a and, my lad" he said. YES, sir"
said the boy; Il have found q silver
ring" II thought So" said the tramp;
its the one I just dropped. Now.
amt 1t lucky had my name cut In
it?" What is your manner" said the
boy, suspiciously. STERLING, lad"
take II. then. It's yours" said the
boy, handing over the ring.
w. S. Gilbert, the dramatist ans
wit. was lunching at a country club
when he found himself surrounded by
six or seven clergymen who had been
on motor tour of the country there
about. Pretty soon the author of the
"Mlkado" was drawn into the CONVEX
sation. When his identity was known,
one OF the clergymen asked Mr.. Gil
bert how he felt "in such grave and
reverend company" Like lion in
den of Daniels" was the reply.
In England, elementary schools are
orga.zed for girls or for infants"
OF late years the mixed" system has
been introduced, and many of the
schools have been organized as "sen.
Tor" or "junior" mixed. An inspector
recently met on the school stairs
little nondescript in a pinafore, and
asked: Come, what are you doing
here?" Are you in the boys or the
glrls?" mo, sir" said the small one,
I'm n junior mlxedl"
Richard lie Gallienne once went TO
a publication office to get a check
which was due him for an article.
I'm sorry" said the cashier. "but I
shall have to dlsappoint you to-day.
The checks are made out, but they are,
without the signature of our mana
ger. He Is III with the govt" Eek.
tend him my sympathles," murmur
cd Mr.. lie Gallienne; st must be very
trying for him to be so disabled.
infer that he signs his checks with
his feet"
Ono OF the Scotsman's editors had
entered train at Princes Street sta
ton, Edinburgh, one friday, when
smart newsboy Immediately called out
To him, Scotsman. sir?" How
much?" asked the editor, josingly, "A
penny, sir" replied the boy. "oh,"
was tho reply, Il don't want to-day's
Scotsman: but IL you could give me
to-morrow's | would give you a sover.
elgn for It." Here you are, sir!"
shouted the youngster, handing him
the weekly Scotsman which bore the
date OF tho following day.
During tho Spanish war the men of
a certain New York regiment, re-
crulted on the east side were spoil.
Ing for a fight, and 1. became neces-
sary to post sentry to preserve
order. A big, husky Bowery recruit,
Of pugllistic propenslties, was put on
guard outside, and given special orders
to see that quiet reigned, and, IL
trouble came his way, not to lose pos.
sSbblOn vi MS TlHe. ooOn BeUtTdl
row began. The soldier walked his
post nervously, without interrupting,
until the corporal Of the guard appear.
ed on the scene with reinforcements.
"Why didn't you stop this row."
shouted the corporal. The sentry bal
ancing his rifle on his shoulder, raised
his arms to the boxing position, and
replied: Sure, phwat could do
wild this gun in me hands!"
A prospective Boston bridegroom,
who meant to be master I'm his own
house, called on the well-known Uni
tartan clergyman, Rev. G. w. Wendte,
who was to tie the knot the following
day. II have heard" he said, that
you omit the word obey from the
marriage service. VIII you kindly
insert 1t tomorrow" Mr.. Wendte
obligngly promised to do so. "Wilt
thou, Lucy, promise to love. honor.
and obey?" was promptly answered by
the bride without demur. The same
question was put to the groom. who
1esitated, stammered, and gulped, but
answered, as had his bride, 81 WILL"
probably not wishing to create
scene. Later he reproached the min
,ster. 'But you asked me to use the
word obey" said Mr.. Wendte, With
4 twinkle In his eyes; "how was | TO
xnow that you wanted 1t for the lady
only You should have been more