New-York tribune., 1905-12-27
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

A parallel has been found for the young curate
who said, Here endeth the first innings" An Eng
lish clergyman on Saturday beaten in golf
tournament by a put on the last green. This seems
to have preyed on mis- mind, for the following
day he gave out his text follows: In the
eighth chapter and the thirty-sixth verse Of the
Gospel according to St. Mark you will find these
words to be written: For what shall 1t profit a
man If he shall gain the whole world and lose the
last hole?' I"
Business Training-"That man is a very witty
wei, he's a chemist; he ought to to o be"
What has that to do with his witt? -
Because chemists class are always read!
with retorts.''-( Baltimore American
A market has just been opened in Paris where
the hair of famous personages is on sale. One
NAV examine there and buy locks from the heaos
OF royal, military, political and literary notabili-
+,as AS regards the degree of estimation in which
various notabilities of past times are held Nelson
IS easily first Last June wisp of about two
dozen of the famous admiraIs hairs were knocked
down for $685. and smaller lock brought $3.50 wei
ltngton on the contrary, Is by no means IN de-
nand p lock Of his hair being valued at 81 90
1TonoIeon has been as high as S1OO and as low as
81 while a lock of Lord Byron's hair some time
ago brought S97 DO
CAUTION
rTon hats are most dangerous. They confer upon
,bsi wearers false virtue and trustworthiness
sn1 enable them to perpetrate ali sorts Of vlanies-
weekly Paper.l
F2eware of the perilous topper;
You fancy It harmless a51ad nnd fB PfGBPe55in 5iss,st
Th0Iigh highly respectable seeming,
TIE gloss on it's body is cleaning
But the heart underneath 1t is vile
Its owner may lack every, virtue.
He probably wishes to hurt you:
detectives may be on his track.
The widow and orphan he preys on
And always a cynical smile,
FnlI l1iu of sinister deviltry. plays scr on
The face OF the man in the tile.
n ,ouths who're beginning existence,
Fav heed to the words that say;
Keep that shiny top hat at distance;
gbe9 When you with ife horroP n and oat6ins
Tptosdate WeapGn O % OF sseens gsn clothing
The dangerous -1--' N(London Globe.
IN sbozv what Alabama is doing '"Ths Mont
rornerv Advertiser issued Christmas edition OF
b,,ndred pages on December II. The paper con-
+atned 97s columns Of reading matter, the greater
rar+ of which was by Alabama writer's, which may
cause some envy in Indiana Among other things
showing how Southern journalism is progressing'
hs Advertiser calls attention to the fact tnat ts
Christmas edition also contained fS4 columns u
advaytisinp and 2S7 engravings made in its own
rlan+ and mostly drawn by it's own men There
were 2s.7s1 copies of the edition sold
No. c. posourceful as Most Girls.-Nel-some Of
our proverbs are so ridiculous. For instance
sWhere ignorance is bliss
3elIEWbV- YOU know Charlie gave me my EN- en-,
ooSat ying last week, and simply can't ma
@ % ,i,ch it cost him--(Philadelphia Ledger
nv william Dudley Bishop Of New-Caledonia
.o1d recently some Of the joys of a missionary
bishop: II travel about my diocese with tent
bundle Of blankets and Gladstone bag. 90
my own cooking. washing and menolns' uiousn ~
7 take care not 10 have too many Things 10 inehu-
I even know how make yeast.
HOPELESS CASE.
Fnl Jones. he's q reg'lar freak -. o,,
Clean through the country you naISht seeh
And never find in all your days
a fellow with such curious ways
You tell him how this countrys bound
For ruin cause finance amt sound
1ikev5se deficient in the law; ,o .,.
Bin simply laughs an says % pshawi
He amt afeard O. germs an, Things;
He ,aYs the daily sunshine brings
ITS remedy for every woe
Iintil II comes your time TO go
I amt like that, my stars, tnaIh!
How ken you argue with crank
That iet YOU stan aroun an jaw, -
An simply laughs an says %, pshawF s.