The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1905-11-29

A young girl should remember that
II isn't rings that make the belle
Philadelphia Record.
| Dolly-"He knows how to kiss"
Molly-"Who told you so?" Dolly-'I
had II from his own lips.
Leader.
Maude-"And so they are marrled?'
Madge-"Yes; he fell in love with her
figure" How much was it?"-Yon-
kers Statesman.
Penelope-"Did you have a nice sea-
son?" Perdita-"Not a bit was en-
gagged to lot of men did not care
for. Town and Country.
She-"Do you believe men arc as
brave now as they used to be-" He
Sure; just see the poetry some men
write now."-Yonkcrs Statesman.
Dad-"Your prancing around a little
too lively, my boy; you need a check"
son-"All right, father, make it in
four figures please. Chicago Daily
News.
81 went home to see the old folks
recently and introduced myself to
them as the prodigal SON" so they
wouldn't mistake you for the fattod
calf?"-Life.
John simply must have another
gown" For what occasion?" "The
new cook IS coming tomorrow, and
have nothing decent to receive her
in."-Cleveland Leader
Dumley--"What they call preferred
stock, is the stock that pays dividends,
isn't it," Wiseman-"Not at all; but
the stock that does pay dividends is
always preferred" - Philadelphia
| Press
do you believe in accepting taint-
ed money for foreign missions?"
"Not /: | don't believe in spreading
infection when it can be confined to
the infected district" baltimore
American.
"Our company" said the life in
surance agent, "is one of the richest
I'm the world" "Yes," answered the
policyholder, "and I'm one of the peo-
pie who helped make it so."-Wash-
ington Star.
Have you any reason to believe
that your sister likes me, Wiilio"
Course she does. Just yesterday, I
heard her say Nobody could help
likin' the dear old easy mark -
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Willie, will you tell your sister I
am here?" She knows you're here.
She told me TO say she wasn't home,
but | knew you wouldn't give me a
dime If told you that" Willie got
the dime.-Cleveland Plain Dealer
"Snoobs says he would never wear
ready-made clothes" Possibly. But
he spends ready-made dollars. If his
father hadn't left them to him he
wouldn't have enough to buy a sec
opd-hand suit"-Detroit Free Press
Jaggles-"Why does that million
aire boast of his ancestry" Waggles
because he can't very well boast
of his posterity, when his daughter
eloped with the coachman and his two
sons are taking the gold cure. Puck
Mrs. Rlce-I know you wouldn't
like Miss Worriley. She is very de-
pressing One of the kind, you know
that is always borrowing trouble"
Mrs. Bruce -"Oh, then, I'd be sure to
like her, I've loads of trouble to lend"
Brooklyn Life.
when / started in life" said the
insurance director Il didn't have a
dollar ! could call my own" and
now" Il have managed to call a lot
of money my own, although there Is a
great deal of dispute about IT,
Washington Star.
Lumber Yard Lem-'T hain't seen
Weary Willie around lately" Seven
League Saunders-"No; he's dis
guised himself as college professor
an livin' as one O. dem. He's going
to write a magazine article on deir
lives an habits. Puck.
"a New York girl has been arrested
for trying to blackmail her father"
"Well, the New York girl who doesn't
know enough to get what she wants
out of her father without blackmailing
him doesn't deserve to have parent" :"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Jay Green-"I had ride in my
cousins automobile, while | was up T.
J the city" Aaron Allred-"Ye did?
How'd it seem?" Jay Green-"Wa-al
| n felt n good deal like faI1in' into q
mighty deep well, only ye dropped
straight ahead instead of down'rds-
Puck.
Homeless Holmes-"Wot's become
OF Everett Wrest?" Oliver Mudd-'De
poor hobo died of overwork" Home
less Holmes-"G'wan | don't believe
It," Oliver Mudd-"It's de trut'. He
was too ambitious-tr to do two
days loafin in one day!"-Clevelan