davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
MATHEMATICAL PRoDIelEs.

From the New York Press.
In New York commercial life are many
entry clerks, to watch whom at figures
is a liberal education in practical pro-
digsm. There is one In particular, in the
dry goods district, whom 1t used to be
rare treat to see: Let us call him fie-
ttiously Dick Post. His companions knew
him as Handsome Dick" He could do
any combination of figures in his head
instantly. At times he received as much
as $40 a day for special work Opium
eating finally caused his downfall, but
wreck that he is today, it is believed
among his friends that there is not a
man In New York who can approach him
in lightning calculation. Dick Is a gradu-
ate of Yale. and is also a fine penman
and geometer
1t is related that Jedediah Buxton, the
English mathematical prodigy. was the
son of schoomaster. but remained
throughout life a farm laborer, because
mind being occupied by an absorbing pas
sion for mental calculations. Being asked
How many cubical elghths of an inch
there are in a body whose three sides are
q, las. 1856 yards 5,642. 1872 yards and 81. 965
yards?" he replied correctly without set
ting down a figure. Zerah Colburn was an
American prodigy. When asked the square
root of 10G,929 and the cube root of 26S,-
1856 1875, he answered correctly before the
audience set the figures down.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20

commerce, and in this way terms Of
peace would be found advantageous.
The writer in the Review says a good
portion of our militia are partly
armed with muzzle-loaders, which
would be of little help to us in a
struggle against modern rifles.
The German writer assumes
throughout his article that the Amer
lean navy would prove inferior to the
German navy, and that it would either
defeat the latter or shut it up in re-
treats. So far as Germany's merchant
marine is concerned the article is
well founded, but the Germans are
scarcely justified in holding that the
American navy would not be a fac
tor in any war that might arise be-
tween the two countries.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
THE FISHERMAN

lie reeks not of base worldly care.
me call of fame, the trumpet blare.
Inc nat ne wears doth flop and flare.
Who Is this?
Why, the fisherman.
HIS clothing may not be au fat,
Hes full of bliss but never gay,
He always looks the same old way.
Who is this?
Why, the fisherman.
He cares not for mere human woe,
But to the river he doth go
And watch the waters sleepy flow.
Who is this?
Why, the fisherman.
Though he may look just like pug.
He's happy with his little jug
And CLAMPS it in a tender hug.
Who is this?
Why, the fisherman.
While seated meath a willow tree
His heart is filled with silent glee.
The worlds forgot and so is he.
Who is this?
Why, the fisherman.
As he awaits his cork to sink
He Is too lazy cen to think.
All he does is blink and blink.
Who is this?
Why the fisherman.
He doesn't care to catch a fish,
But just to doze and dream and wish
And hearken to the ripples' swish.
Who is this?
Why, the fisherman.
PAUL COoR.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
Panama and Protection.

If Uncle Sam has a right to buy in
the cheapest market In the world,
why should not the plain American
citizen be accorded like privilege?
The gray wolves are gathering in
Washington, at the call of the tariff
barons who own and control them,
but they can accomplish nothing
against President Roosevelt and Sec
rotary Taft, who acted advisedly,
wisely and determinelly. The an
nounced policy of the administration
will not be changed.
It is based 1t Is said, on informa-
ton furnished by Joseph Ramsay who
has been, or soon will be forced out
of the. Wabash railroad by the Pitts
burg tariff autocrats. He explained
the steel pools, and the division of
spells they had in contemplation. The
administration met the issue boldly
by going at once into the markets of
the world for whatever it needs at
Panama.
If the government can buy a plow
or shovel cheaper in the markets OF
the world, why should not the Ameri-
can citizen be permitted to do like
wise? The entire process of Dingley
brigandage is involved in the issue
thus precipitate6 by the administra-
ton, and the administration of Theo-
dore Roosevelt will be overwhelming
ly upheld by the American consumers.
But what will the Ohio republican
convention do when it meets next
week? Aye, there's the rub. Watch
that convention, for it is up against
the issue raised by Theodore Roose-
welt and its own Mr.. Taft.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
Germany PLANNING a Campaign.

A member Of the German staff was
not long ago sent to this country to
study it for the purpose of outlining
plans for war and naval operations of
that empire in the event of war aris-
ing between the two countries. Such
studies and plans are wholly legiti-
mate and customary, and all countries
recognize the value of preliminary
studies of that sort.
A German officer explains In the
London National Review, unofficially,
what his country would do if war
should arise between Germany and
the United States. He in nowise con-
templates a conquest of this country.
He knows that any. such thing is inn
possible. But by using freely Ger
many's commercial fleets, he thinks
a landing could be made at some point
not defended, and that we could not
readily bring against it more than TO-
900 men. Once landed and en-
trenched It could cooperate with a
German feet IN making forays on our
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
Once a day I'll visit
No National Elections.

No national elections have been
held in this country, and none per-
haps ever will be. The states are di-
rected to appoint electors, but II a
state or states should for any reason
refuse to appoint electors, the federal
government could not intervene. 1t
could not hold a national election in
the recalcitrant state or states, for
there is no warrant for any such ac-
tion in the constitution. In point of
fact the states could appoint electors
without the casting of a ballot. The
legislatures of Massachusetts, South
Carolina and some other states form
erly appointed electors themselves,
and the trusts would no doubt be glad
to see the old practice restored. In
that case no election at all would be
held to appoint electors.
We have, in other words, no ma
tional election. True, Congress does
take charge of the returns from the
states, but this Is for the sole pur-
pose of consolidation, unless indeed
the party in control of Congress de.
sires to distort the returns, as was
s done In the Grant administration in
order to count Mr. Hayes in and Mr.
Tilden out. Ordinarily and in the
just course of things there is nothing
national in the presidential election
except the consolidation of the votes
of the states, and an announcement
of the result. The rest of the bust
ness is of the states, by the states
for the states.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
MANSFIELD SCORED.
What Noted American Critic Thinks
of Actors Vaunted Art.

James Huneker in The Metropolitan Mag
azine for. June.
Richard Mansfield long ago lost interest
in the advancement of the drama. But
when he plays Shakespeare he crowds
the theatre And l assure you it is rather
depressing to see him still stalking about
and mumbling in that parody of play,
"A Partisan Romance" or gibbering and
squeaking in such fustian melodrama as
the travesty Of Robert Louis Stevensons
story. Beau Brummel'' no doubt rests
his brain--it does not demand a modicum
of wit or passion to portray the dandy.
Personally l should like to see him in
modern drama-in Echegaray, in Shaw,
in Pinero, in Ibsen, in Sudermann. Strict
ly speaking his training as an actor was
Teutonic. He has the modern note when
he SO wishes, and his temperamental
quality would find admirable opportuni-
ties in many of the great parts provided
by the new men. When you think of the
waste of energy and brains Mansfield
permits himself in his mediocre repertory
is it not an occasion for sorrow, for be-
wlderment! He is not a poetic artist
ms Sylaho proven mat u lhe Juulcious'
IL is In the delineation of passion, eccen-
trio If you will, in the CHASTITY illumina-
rio, Of soma u,ratohaa co.,, thot 10 ~,
Gems MI classic acior' MS Tragedy is
best seen when portrayinE mind over
taken by calamity. His Brutus, 1 shall
never forget desnite its deeection from
tho haoto,, troo,. 80 ,,a,,.,., M. -
~ oe''ei' VI iou'ine ihe inter
probation was almost Dath0lOoip. Nor can
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
Not an Opium Country.

The proposal of the Department of
Agriculture to extend its experiments
to opium with view of making it an
additional crop in this country, is
open to criticism to say the least. The
department should not promote the
cultivation of the poppy in this coun-
try as standard crop until Congress
expressly sanctions the step, and this
1t has not done. Under general ap-
preparations the department can In
augurate such experiments no doubt,
but it should not do so until Congress
has discussed the subject. We do not
need cheap opium in this country.
The drug is too accessible at present
to those who should not consume a
particle of 1t. 1t Is dangerous drug
In an excitable population, and it's cul-
tivation is always attended by evils
that no safeguards can cope with.
The opium needed in the world can
be readily grown In Asia, and this
country need not enter into compe-
tition with China. The use of the
drug has debased China, and cheap
opium would be equally baneful here
The Department of Agriculture has
work enough to do in other directions.
and it should not take steps to render
this an opium producing country.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
MODIFIED PLAN OF s. A. L.
Committees Suggestion for consoll
dating Constituent Companies.

From the New York Tribune.
The committee having charge of the
constituent companies of the Seaboard
Air Line has made public the modified
plan for effecting the consolidation and
also securing for the system the funds
desired for it's Improvement. The pro-
visions Of the original plan were accept
ed by the holders of $4,000 shares out of
G39.901 outstanding. The 10000 non-assent-
ing shares are represented by COM
n-ittee in Baltimore.
The modified plan has already been ac-
cepted in writing by the depositors OF
more than majority of the capital stock
OF the company, thus assuring its success.
The modification consists practically in
the substitution of a holding company
for the consolidated company, with the
same author lied capital, the same classes
of stock and the same basis of exchange
as provided tor in the original plan. The
payments To be made by depositors VINO
shall elect u suhscrlbe to the hrst pre-
fe.red stock Of the new company VIII De
the same in amount as provided by the
original plan. The proceeds OF such sale
will be advanced to the Seaboard Air
Line railway to provide for its immediate
reeds ami Tor improvements, and for the
moneys so advanced the new company
will receive notes of the railway COM
pany or mortgage bonds, to which all the
stockholders of the railway will have
the right to subscribe. If practically all
the stockholders of the railway COM
pany assent to the modified plan for con-
solidation will then be effected through
the agency of the holding company. The
charter of that company will provide that
neither of the directors nor stockholders
shall have the power to pledge or volun-
tarily cucumber the stock of the Seaboard
Air Line railway acquired by the new
company, and that the total indebtedness
for which the new company may at any
time be obligated shall not exceed $500, 900.
Depositors under the previous plan who
do not surrender their certificates of de-
post and withdraw their stock within
two weeks after the final publication
of the modified plan will be deemed to
have assented to the modified plan, copies
of which should be obtained by all inter-
ested from either the Morton Trust COM
pany, New York. the Old Colony Trust
company Boston, or the Continental
Trust company Of Baltimore. Deposits
of stocks and of voting trust certificates
from those who have already deposited
them will be received by these trust COM
panies until and including June "a.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
THE CIRCUS.
New York Sun.

From the New York Sun.
When the elephants are marching
And the band begins to play;
When the noble paving chargers
France along the sawdust way;
When the airy fairy ladies
Through the hoops of paper fit;
When the clowns begin exchanging
Their excruciating wit;
When the spangled flying wonder
Hangs suspended in}the air:
When the mighty roaring lion
Is confronted in his lair;
Then must I a freckled urchin
To the circus take with me.
IT'S the fortieth he's Witnessed
He's the boy used to be
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
John 8. KNOCKS Invitation.

John B. Knox of .nniston came down
from that city Thursday night on the
train that brought back to Birmingham
the Church of the Advent delegates, who
had been denied seats in the Episcopal
council. AS he was going out of the sta
ton he met Judge Samuel E. Greene of
The probate court who was one of the
unseated delegates.
All WE'LL said Mr.. Knox in condoling
with Judge Greene. We re going to have
a Presbyterian convention soon at An
niston. and If you will come up to, see us
then I can assure you we will not turn
you out"
THANK YOU" said Judge Greene, amid
the laughter of bystanders.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.

From the New York Press.
Every girl Is awful pretty when she
looks in the looking glass.
Getting married Is like specializing;
sometimes you don't lose.
Peekaboo shirt waists are meant to
show less than they appear to and more
than they ought to.
A man in public life can't make people
believe he is honest even by going to
church every Sunday.
woman is awful fond of you when
she thinks she makes you so happy that
you don't need any of the money you
earn to spend on yourself.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
Milk in the cocoanut.

From the Marion County News
Nan Patterson is now free. We don't
know whether she killed Young or not,
but we do know that any married man
that has a wife at home while he is run
ming around with other women deserves
any kind of bad luck that could happen
to him.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
More Light Needed.

From the Clanton Banner.
1t is not creditable to Chiffon county
that when in the interests of expediting
business, judge, jury, lawyers and wit
nesses are called together in the court
house after the sun has set, that the
business of the court has to be carried
on in semi-darkness. Justice loves light,
and few lamps in Chiffon county's court
house Is urgently needed.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
Japs Probably Responsible.

From the Gadsden Journal
The Kaiser says that drunkenness and
immortality defeated the ussans at
Mukden. The Kaiser evidently overlooked
the item of the presence of the Japs
who may have had something to do with
the matter.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
HARD RAP FOR TEACHERS.

From the Chicago Journal
A teacher in certain school said to
dull pupil:
When l was your age I could answer
any question in arithmetic
Yes said the small child. "but you
forget that you had a different teacher
to what l have"
Collapse of the schoolmaster.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
No Trouble at All.

From the Dadeville Spot Cash.
They are having a hard time trying to
find a suitable resting place for the re-
mains of Paul Jones. The Paul Jones"
that people around here are acquainted
with has no trouble finding resting
place.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
Strikes, for Instance.

From the Mobile Register.
A Chicago professor has gone into re-
tirement in hut on the shores of Lake
Michigan because he wanted to get away
from the noise and din of the city. That is
not all fellow wants to get away from
when he gets enough of Chicago There
are other things.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
Tom HewIett,a Potatoes.

THE potatoe paten on my farm near
East Lake is one of tie finest in the
valley" said Thomas Hewlett yesterday
afternoon
THE vines are nearly a foot in height,
and although everyone around my place
complains of their plants being infested
with the little potatoe bugs, the pests
have not given me the least trouble.
Like that famous corn field in Kan
sas my plants grew so fast that the
hugs were handicapped and have never
yet reached the heavy foliage on the
vines.
You know. they say out in Kansas, a
farmer sent his son out in a corn patch
to cut the tops off some of the stalks
which were growing by night and day.
As fast as the young man climbed, the
stalk would climb too, and his relative fin
ally had to send up a balloon to rescue
the young man from his lofty plight"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
Money In Sumter.
From the sumpter Sun.

From the Sumpter Sun.
One man in Sumpter cleared $500 on
Strawberries this season, and yet foolish
young men talk of going west to make
their fortunes, while right here in Sump-
ter money can be made easier than any
where else in the world.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
The Goats Bad Fix.

I'm a stack of express freight being
handled at the union station a day or
two ago, was a goat confined in wooden
cage" said Austin Sims "A tag, tied
on the cage, dangled In front Of the goats
head. The hungry animal pressed its
mouth through the Stats and made a
meal Of the tag. A little negro boy stood
and watched the proceeding with keen
interest and after the tag had been
swallowed remarked with unconscious hui
NOR, Dat goat sho is in er bad fix now
for he's dun ct UP where he's gwine to- ="
About Persons.
j. A. Fuller of Selma. is at the Nor
ris.
w. A. Neal of Tuscaloosa. is at the
Morris.
P. S. Miller of Nashville is at the
Morris.
Mai. w. w. Screws, editor of the Mont
gomery Advertiser, stopped at the Morris
last night on his way from Admission to
Montgomery.
w. A. Cobb of Selma is in the city.
j. A. Harris of Childersburg is in the
city.
j. A. Henry of Selma is in the city
Charles Lansdell, clerk of the Norris
Is confined to his room with serious ill
ness.
President John w, Abercrombie of the
state university was in the city yester
day.
S. l.. Fuller of Cullman. was in the city
yesterday
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
ROOM FOR HIM.

From the Washington Post.
There's a poet pitcher on the Louisville
team He should have no trouble in find
ing employment as an editorial office
boy when not engaged on the diamond.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
Knocking the earons.

From the Tuscumbia North Albanian.
Now that Sheffield is to have a pro-
fessional bali team we suggest that the
Sheffield contingent challenge that Bir-
mingham aggregation and take the cham
pionshlp of Alabama.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
NOT NEW AFTER ALL.

From the Marion Standard.
Wine, women and worry" says The
Age-Herald' is the new combination that
helps the undertakers. Not so new after
all when you come to think about it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
Pretty Girls Eyes.

From the Headland Post.
The eyes of the pretty girl are of the
shining variety, beautifully clear and Of
the kind which can open widely and look
one right in the face.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
She's a Failure.

From the Montgomery Advertiser
Lillian Russells magazine article on
How to Keep Husbands can hardly be
called the work of an expert. She has
failed to keep any of her numerous speci-
mens-or they failed to keep her.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20

The Lewis & Clark exposition is
to be opened June l. Mr.. Roosevelt
will press the button and Fairbanks
in a long Prince Albert coat will do
the rest
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
COMMENTS ON MEN AND
MATTERS OF THE WORLD

of recognizing a feline presence. even
when the cat is unheard and unseen. The
evidence is cumulative. It would be a
fine thing for rodents If they had the
power to feel cats presence before its
proximity became dangerous. If that
were the case the cat would miss her din
ner many a time and oft.
Maybe there is something after all In
the theory recently advanced by a man
charged with murder that he has a dual
personality. Such an explanation would
go far toward explaining the double and
triple lives led by people who have no
regard for the simple life. Then again,
this plea may stand ready to take the
place of the old insanity dodge" which
has done such yoeman service In the past
1t Is much more interesting and complex.
withal' to say that ''psysic aura" caused
criminal to commit a crime than it is
TO plead that he was merely insane.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20

Judge Davis has established new
line of postprandial argument. His
remarks were not, however, a bit
post-mortemsh.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
Cigar Business.

II have heard tales of the volume Of
business done in Birmingham, but never
believed them until today" said Al Mar
shall, well known cigar man of At
lanta. THE men who sell cigars in Bir-
mingham have come to the stand over
which I preside and told me about Blr-
mingham and | have always listened and
when they left 1 said right away, Hot
ARR
Now | am convinced. do not believe
that there is a cigar stand in Atlanta
that does anything like the business that
a certain store in Birmingham does.
Il was never more surprised in my life
than l was today when | stood in a cigar
store for an hour and saw the business
that this stand did.
I'VE brag a lot in Atlanta, but we will
bow to any town that has us 'bested and
that's what Birmingham has done in
the cigar business"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20

Hold-ups have been cut out of con-
tracts for supplies needed in building
our big Panama canal. TITS well.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20

Washington does not mind the alb
sence of Congress, for 1t has Nan
Patterson, and rejuyenated baseball
club to enliven II.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20

Judge Davis may think he knows
how Caesar Young met his death, but
he does not, neither does any one else,
Nan alone excepted.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20

The Kaiser had the audacity to pull
off an international race in which Sir
Thomas Upton had no part.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20

The ice wagon season fairly conf
pels settlement of the teamsters'
strike in Chicago.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20
ALABAMA PRESS
In Chicago.

From the Mobile Item.
One strike and out is the way they play
it in Chicago, but they squabbe about
who is out.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20

Sir Northumberland has had his
salary raised $4,000 year by John
Bull. The popularity of the nigh life
in this country has made living high.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-20

That great warrior, Count Cassini,
goes to Madrid where all the fighting
Is done by bulls.