The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1905-06-28

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pie to awake revulsion. A step into the
empty closet yawning so near, an effort
with drawer. at Do not ask me
TO recall it. | did not shudder when
the moment came and | stood there.
Then / was cold as marble. Yet l
shall surely take my life before you
see rae again, and in that old house.
If it is despair feel. then despair will
take me there. If it is repentance, then
repentance will suffice to drive me to
the one eXpiation possible to me-to
perish where caused an innocent man
to perish and so relieve you of Wife
who was never worthy of you and
whom it would be your duty to de-
pounce if she let another sun rise upon
her guilt
"a message was shouted through the
door-the message for which my ears
had been strained in dreadful anticipa-
ton for the last two hours. A man
named Pfeiffer wanted to see me be-
fore l went down to be married-a
man named Pfeffer!
81 looked closely at the boy who de-
livered this message. He showed no
excitement nor any feeling greater
than impotence at being kept waiting
a minute or so at the door. Then
glanced beyond him at the people chat
ting in the hall. No alarm there; moth
ing but very natural surprise that
the bride should keep so big Il crowd
waiting | felt that this fixed the
event He who had sent me this quiet
message was true to himself and to
our old compact. He had not publish
ed below what would have set the
house in an uproar in moment. He
had left his secret to be breathed into
my ear alone. | could recall the mo-
ment he passed me his word and his
| firm look as he said, with his hand
lifted to heaven: You have been good
to me and given me your precious self
while l was poor and a nobody. In re-
turn | swear to keep our marriage Il
secret till great success shows me to
be worthy of you or till you with your
own lips express forgiveness of my
failure and grant me leave to speak
Nothing but death OF your permission
shall ever unseal my lips When |
4 heard that he was dead l feared lest
he might have spoken, but now that |
had seen him alive I knew that in no
other breast save his. my own and
that of the unknown minister in an al
most unknown town dwelt any knowl-
edge of the fact which stood between
me and the marriage which all these
people had come here to see. My CON
fdence in his rectitude determined me-
Without conscious emotion, without
fear even-the ending of suspense had
ended all that-I told the boy to seat
the gentleman in the library Then
ITO turn and turn miserable crank
after those moments of frenZied action
and silence-that was the hard part
that was what tried my nerve and first
robbed me of calmness. But l dare(
not leave that fearful thing dangling
there; had to wind. The machinery
squeaked and its noise seemed to fill
,, the house, but no one came nor did tn,
door below open. Sometimes hav,
have been lureQ on, and you would no
, have become involved in my ruin.
. 81 am afraid to die, but I am NOR
afraid of failing in courage. Ishall hav
the pistol tied to me; this will make
seem inevitable to use it. Oh, that til
: next twentyfour hours could be blot
ted out of time! Such horror canno
= be. was born for joy and gayety. We
, no dismal depth of misery and fear ha
|, / DIT q
: my own act. do not accuse God; d
not accuse man; only accuse mysel
u and my thoughtless grasping afte
i pleasure.
Il want Cora to read this as we'll q
. you. She must know me dead as sl
= never knew me living. But l cannt
u tell her that ! have left confessio
e behind me. She must come upon
II unexpectedly, just as mean you to d
II Only thus can it reach either Of yo
y, with any power. If could but thin
of some excuse for sending her to IL
e book where | propose to hide it! Til,
u. would give her chance of reading
Il before you do, and this would be beS
She may know how to prepare or col
III fort you'll hope so. Cora is mob
woman, but the secret which kept II
n thoughts in such Il whirl has held
)s apart.
II. "YGu did what 1 asked. You foul
4d place for Raucher's waiter in the V,
e- unteer corps. Surprised as you We're
er the interest / expressed in him, "
lg honored my first request and said not
Ing. Would you have shown the san
ny anxious eagerness If you had know
OF why l whispered those few words
er him from the carriage door, why
tn could neither rest nor sleep till he Il
he the other boy We're safely out of tow
s., 81 must leave line for you to she
is, to people il they wonder why i kill
I'D myself so soon after my seemin.
lot happy marriage You will find 1t
he the same book with this letter Sol
one viii tell you to look in the bool
mt cannot write any more.
he II cannot help writing. 1t is all IL
| connects me now with life and w
Jt,,tl I, t,,., ,,tA n {