The Dolores star., 1905-06-23
TatterS Helps
the Editor

tcciety for the amelioration of
something or other descended on him
and he surrendered, took two pipes,
pound Of smoking tobacco, q fish
ing rod and decamped, leaving The
Budget in their charge for one week,
with the privilege of making all the
money they could out OF it. His
printer was supposed to stay. but,
being by classification a tramp, and
having a heavy board bill hanging
over his head by a single hair. he
embraced the opportunity two hours
after the editor had gone to depart
by way of the railroad track. This
left the mechanical end of the office
at the mercy of the inky imp called
Tatters. The ladies' were a good deal
disturbed at the disaffection of the
printer, but bravely decided to go
ahead with Tatters and attempt to get
odt the paper They called him in to
give him some instructions. He stood
before them wearing. as usual, long
aDron stin with ink. paste and un-
known substances. The only thing
which saved his face from being in
the same condition as his apron was
the fact that he was in the habit of
constantly twisting it into many
shapes. SO that the ink, paste and
other substances on 1t never had time
to stiffen. His hair pointed in all
directions, like that OF jack-in-the
box, and in his left hand he carried
section of wet type.
What are you doing, Tatters"
asked the lady who was the presi.
dent of the amelioration society, with
some dignity.
THROWN in" answered the imp.
Throwing in what?"
Type"
:.'The case. Think was thrown it
into my hat?"
The lady looked at him coldly and
he went on:
"But I'm most through an you'll
hear me hollerin' for copy in bout
quarter of an hour" and he retreat
ed into the composing room and
slammed the door.
The ladies were indignant, but
there was clearly nothing to do but
gYin and bear 1t. A few moments
later there came a most dismal. long
drawn wall from the other room,
which, after much effort they manag-
ed to interpret as the promised "hol-
lerin'." 1t was followed by the ap-
pearance of Tatters' head at the
door,
What is it?" asked the president,
who had been chosen editor-in-chief
a little sharply.
Copy" said Tatters. ''Did you
think I was singing the Doxology?"
There is no copy ready yet. Can
not you be doing something else?"
81 can that" and he snatched of
his apron and started for the door.
II can be goin' fishin' just as easy as
not"
"Tatters!" cried the frightened edi-
tor, springing to the door, don't you
dare desert us. You stay here until
some copy is ready for you"
Tatters retreated and put on his
apron in an agitated frame of mind.
A moment later one of the young
ladies, who had been appointed man
aging editor, took roll of daintily-
written manuscript from her hand
bag and said:
Here, Tatters, is something you
can begin on
Tatters took it, sniffed, glanced at
it and asked: What is it-spring
poetry?"
mo, it is the essay that read at
the commencement. We shall put it
on the fourth page"
What! the editorial page" Shrek
ed Tatters. Put such stun as that
on the editorial page of The Budget!
Not much," and he tossed the manu-.
script onto the table.
I'VE shall certainly do as we see
ft." interposed the editor-in-chief,
with great dignity.
II resign!" cried Tatters, again
tearing off his apron and throwing II
behind him, where it stuck in the city
editors lap, greatly to her dismay.
Il resign my position, that's ALL Here.
if you want it in ink, gimme pen.
Lemme write it out in black and
white: Dear madam herewith re-
sign my posish. tSigned) Tatters.'
Gimme a pen, I say"
'Tatters, be calm-act reasonable"
said the editor-in-chief in a soothing
tone. What shall we put on the
editorial pager"
Editorials, of course" he answer
ed, slightly Modified.
"OL what subject?"
"The danger in great political ma
jorities
But we do not know anything
about politics"
Neither does the boss, but he
writes two columns bout every week.
But, If you can't do it, write bout
automobiles"
This struck the ladies favorably
and one of them began an article on
'Will the Automobile Supplant the
uorco 9u UhiIo fho citv oditor handed