The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-12
HUMOR or THE Day

II ~ y 4N4V4N III 444L 1e@4
Dorothy-AIamma. can we play wild ami
mails?
Mother-It is Sunday, child
Dorothy-But can't We play Thompson
Seton Thompson wild animals2 Wen be
awful nice and well-behaved, you know
Puck.
Fafren-Doesn't it cost a great deal to
send a boy to college?
KOOler-No. That's hardly worth men
tioning. But it costs like smoke to keep
him there.-Chicago Tribune.
Il didn't know young snobberly really
took any interest in politics.
''Nonsenset He doesn't"
But I just heard him talking for the
past ten minutes about party ties
''Ol he means white lawn bows. '-Phila-
delphia Press.
You are I take it, said the interview
er, "a self made man. Your fortune IS the
Pardon me- said Senator Sorghum.
placing his hand behind his ear, did you
ington Star.
Farmer-Now you work here until six
Tramp-How'n know when it's six
Farmer-I'n blow horn up at the
house
Tramp-rm afraid dat wouldn't wake
me up You'll have ter come an blow It
in me ear.-Judge.
George-You are not calling on Miss
Rosebud and more. eh2
Jack-No, I got Disguised. She has such
q coarse laugh.
C5eorge-I never noticed that.
Jack-You would if you'd been within
hearing when I proposed to her-New
York Weekly.
But protested the broker, who had
advertised for confidential clerk you
ssI've had a great deal of experience in
the brokerage business urged the appli-
"But You ask too much for it,"
MY dear sir. assure you I'm offering
it to YOU for much less than it cost me-
Philadelphia Ledger.
When a member CT Aunt Euniee wash
served with faithfulness for so many
years-the old woman's grief was as
causes which led to it.
ITS de same trouble took Miss Lily off
dat took her sister Mariana eight years
ago, she SAID TO a friend, Wiplng her
eyes on her gay plaid apron. When
heard Doctor sam speak bout de vital
spot, I knew Miss Lily wouldn't stay hyar
much longer. When dat vital spot comes
out on d pusson you might Jes as well lay
down your hope an prepare for de end
Youths Companion
Church, see a New York man has a
C3otham-Good gracious! No wonder they
can't find seats for the children in the pub
lie schoois.-H onzers statesman
YES he's going to. give the boys a blow
out. Better come along; he always gets
Nope: I'm going to cut him out: he has
now arrived at that stage where booze IS
always getting the best OF him. '-E4ous-
ton Post
Last Friday week was your birthday,
wasn't it?" asked Miss wabash.
NONSENSE" retorted Miss Boston.
Why. what's the matter?'
447e1 an rc1e7- If
I'm not an infant Philadelphia Press.
First NIilHonaire-Do you regret your
Second Miiifonaire-Nope;th second gen
Grafton viii lose the faint, and the third
will lose the money.-New York Sun.
A case was being tried on the charge OF
selling impure whisky. The whisky was
offered in evidence. Jury retired to try
Judge (presentIy)-What is the verdict?
Foreman of the thirsty jury-Your hon
or, we want more evidence.-San Francis
co News Letter
Crittick-I saw Nuritch looking at one
of your paintings the other day.
d Auber-Ah! I'm glad Of that. He in
timated to me that he might have some
thing for me to do
Crittick-Yes, while he was looking at it
he told me he had intended to let you
paint his back fence, but he didn't think
he would Philadelphia Press.
JaggIes-why- does that millionaire boast
of his ancestry
aggles-Because he can't very well
boast of his posterity, when his daughter
eloped with the coachman and his two
sons are taking the gold cure.-Puck.
Col. Highhyer-what are your rates per
column
Editor of Swell society-For insertion or
suppression!-Life.
.'An how's yer wife. PATTI"
Sure. she do be awful sick
rs ut dangerous she is?''
mo, she's too weak t be dangerous
amy morer'-Cleveland Leader.
Alton-Some people carry a joke too far.
BaIton-Yes. Old PuntOon carried one Of
his to twelve different newspapers and
couldn't sell it then.-Judge.
Getting Facts.
IT, .,.,,-,,r II L. n mad at the door