davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Free advice to Judge Carver: Before
putting the lid on, first get your lid
If the Russian thistles hadn't been ex-
terminated in Kansas we might turn a
lot OF JaDs loose on them.
Speaking of Kansas having $4,000, =
O00 in the banks. if this accumulation
OF wealth in Kansas continues we will
soon have to annex some of Colorado to
get room to pile our money on.
About the worst thing the papers are
urging against the boom Of f. L. Viii
Iams for attorney general is that Clay
Center has furnished the state with at
Jorneys general for eight years out Of
the last ten. and the brand ought to be
changed. Perhaps Clay Center wishes to
retrieve herself this time, though
To Anxious Inquirer; No 4 hunters
license doesn't carry with it a permit
to shoot craps unless it is o. KID by
the chief of police for that special pur-
pose.
Montgomery county raises more cot
ton than any other county in Kansas.
and the amount viii be largely increased
the coming year. although it may not
show IN in Coburns report. All the
men down there are splitting cotton
since Tom Wagstaff closed the joints.
The Kansas City Star persists in call
ing him Mr. William J. Black when
everybody knows it means Mr.. ". Jerry
Black
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14
THE ENCHANTpTss-

Oh, she can cook and she can sew,
She translates from the Greek,
And there's a fresh and healthy glow
That's roselil1e, on her cheek
She sells things to the magazines,
Her name is widely known,
she was but lately in her teens,
Would that she were my own
She's beautiful as well as wise.
Shes Willowy and sweet;
Oh, If might win such a prize
How glad my heart would beati
But i m afraid no such a maid
Will choose me for my worth,
She passes when my visions fade
And come back to earth.
s. z. Kiser in Chicago Record-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

A great many curious stories are told
of the shopping propensities of ladies,
and London salesman in a carpet
warehouse has just added a good one
to the number. One day a well-dressed
lady called and asked to look at some
carpets. With the usual politeness in
such cases the goods were shown, every
shade and pattern in the shop being
spread out for examination
After looking at everything about
the place, and driving some very close
bargains in the matter of price, the
lady selected a carpet for each room
in her house, running UP a bill which
filed the courteous salesman's heart
with joy.
Some hours had been spent in max
ing out the important order, and, when
all was completed, the clerk asked
whittier the carpets were to be sent.
The lady replied. without hesitation.
that she would call and let him know.
"You see she added, my husband
has just bought a piece of ground, and
talks of soon building a house on it.
If he does, you know. I shall want
some new carpets, and then I will call
and get these
The polite clerk thanked the lady
very kindly. and she went away very
well eontented with her purchases. -
Tid-Bits.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14
The EIecfiorl Ere.

The following story is told of one of
the former governors OF Georgia:
He was out walking one morning a
few days prion to his electfOA. when
he met an old negro. The following
conversation took place.
Morning, Marse John.
Good morning, uncle
You all IS looking mighty fine"
yes, I feel pretty good.
do you know what you look like,
AIarse John2D
''No What do I look like %
you looks as If you had a dollah in
youth pocket and was runnln' foah gov
ernor. ''-Ph Philadelphia Public Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14
sHAME OF ME PARTIEs.

The people win not be free from the
danger of corporation domination un-
til they have written it in their law, as
something more than a moral yearn-
ing" that secret contributions shall
not be accepted by campaign commit
tees from corporations, and until they
have made the lobbyists trade imam
Gus by custom as well as statute. It
is mainly through these two avenues
that organized wealth makes its in
fiuence unduly felt in government, and
it is not by accident that the investiga-
ton of the insurance commission are
being pushed with equal vigOr up both
of them.-New York Mail.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14
THE RIGHT KIND.

Tom Wagstaff, attorney for Mont
gomery county. was elected by the aid
of large vote from the wet ele-
ment who believed that be was a safe
man-for them-compare with his
opponent, but Wagstaff is not disposed
to sit idly by. In explaining his posi-
ton. he says. TT sometimes becomes
necessary for me to go after my per-
sonal friends. But it is County Attor-
ney Wasstaff, not Tom Wagstaff who
does it. As an official 1 have taken q
solemn obligation to uphold the laws
of the state and as long as God gives
me strength to do 50, that oath will be
observed. Howard Courant.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14
A ROCKEFELLER TRIUMPH.

4 thanOte dispatch tells how the OPP
position to John D. Rockefeller is get
ting on THE Chanute-Austin refinery
is closed down. Under Sheriff o. NJ
Johnson, with two appra isers, is TAX
ing an inventory Of the property. 1t is
estimated that there is about $685.
coo invested in the buildings of the re-
finery. Four more weeks work would
have been all that was necessary to
complete it in shape to run OIL"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14
REFLEOrIoNs 81 a BAoHE1oR
EFrom the New York Press.1

IFrom the New York Press.l
A good way to arouse anybody's
conscience is to catch him.
A man has to get married to know
all the reasons he ought not to.
A good many more girls can make
angel cake than know how to broiI
steak.
A mans family can always save
money for him by not leaving him any
to spend
Generally man is lucky If he goes
to buy a ffteen-cent cigar and hnds his
wife has left enemgh change in his
clothes for him to pay carfare il he
doesn't buy a nickel cigar.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

The Rev. f. A. Strough Of Kala-
mazoo, Mich, brother of We editor
with his wife and five children, are
guests at our house. These, with our
family Of thirteen. I'LL a large table.
VIII our subscribers in arrears please
make a note of these sixty meals a
day we are now furnishing and try
and help us out Theresa IN. "
Cleaner.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

The Methodists os Manhattan are
about to celebrate the hftieth ami
versary OF the founding OF their church
there, but the Clay Center Tisnes.
knewing Manhattan as it does. claims
that it can hardly believe the town has
been under the influence Of the AIetho-
dists that long.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

Sometimes typographical errors bring
out new ideas. A Kansas paper tried
to say that Governor Hoch is trying to
take the charter away from Kansas
City. kan, and the types got it char
acter." There IS some doubt as to
whether Kansas City has any character
70 lose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

shine, the song OF the birds. the soft
tremoIo Of the mandolin, my villa
with a lady-dainty, fragile, innocent,
brilliant a rose, soft, perfumeos splen-
did, leaning over my shoulder read
ing Uncle Jarvis great novel. AM
the TantaIus Of the Fire.-E. NJ Ca IN
Illustrated Bits.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

The Republican candidate for mayor
Of New York is proposed as a candi-
date for a Carnegie hero medal by the
Washington Post. 1t takes real hero
ism for a Republican to go up against
q situation like that in New York
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

1t is pretty safe to say that if ]. L.
Bristow's appointment as a permanent
investigator Of graft in Washington de-
ponds on the votes Of the United States
senate. it wiz be q long time before he
~afa ST
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14
ALWAYS WAITING

The announcement that there are
several federal jobs soon to be given
out in Kansas has doubtless caused
Dick Blue and Farmer Smith to ele-
vate their lightning rods. They are of
course not expecting anything but no
one can tell where lightning is going
to Leavenworth Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

Mr.. Mccall assures the policy hold
ers that if any of their money was ex-
pended in politics it was ali Mr.. Bry-
ans fault.-Washingto star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14
TROUBLES or THE RICH.

c. W. Schwab is going to have a
$500 silver gilt dinner service.
Even with that, however. he will
probably find it impossible to take
more than one mouthful at time
Chicago Record-H Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

The Western Unions business shows
q falling Off for the last year because
Of its discontinuance of the racing re-
ports. but lots OF other people are a
good many dollars ahead for the same
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14
KAMSAS cONNENT


We are compelled to apologize to
spencer p Cobb chairman of the
Eighth district Democratic committee,
for starting him on a false trail. In
Yestigation shows that the Democrat
we thought was living just below Cald-
wen IS across the line in Oklahoma
Wellington News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14
An Objectionable Word.

We read that the Russian censors
have the strongest objection to the
word free in any shape or form, and
it is always cut out whenever it ap-
pears in print. Russian editors are in
despair and state it is quite impossible
to conduct newspaper intelligently il
they are not allowed to mention the
Oldest sport of the lower classes-free
fights.-LondOn Globe
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

The decision in the Taggart case was
IN favor OF Captain Taggart. OF course
1t had to be in favor Of somebody, 9TH
erwise the judge would probably have
decided against both.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14
HOWE

Since Ed. Jewett has come out in
support Of Governor sHoch for a sec
ond term, provided Cy Leland does not
want the Office. he has straddled the
government ownership hobby.-Wich-
ita Eagle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

Here Is an observation by the Wash
fngton Post that may have more or
less Of interest for Kansans: THE fail
supply of congressional humor has all
ready been tapped by the announce
uant that Senator Burton Of Kansas,
win probably not be an aspirant for a
committee craftsmanship. 1t is not sta
ted whether the senator is otherwise
retained or detained
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14
HORRIBLE THOUGHT.

State Superintendent Dayhof got a
finger clipped off IN the Pullman car
door last week. What business had
Dayhof riding in a Pullman anyhow,
while his constituents were anguish
ing IN chair cars Pratt Union.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

Tt shouldn't be laid up against the
school teachers that Banker Dougherty
OF Peoria and Tom Kelly Of Kansas
used to be school teachers. The teach
ers are not all that way.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

The express company clerk who stole
$101, 900. probably acted from force of
habit. but he made the mistake of TAX
ing it from the company instead of
from the public.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

Saline county thus far has issued 22S
licenses to people who wish to go forth
to hunting the festive jaekrabbit and
other game.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14
MAKES HEAVY TRAFFIC.

As long as the big prohibition fight
lasts in Montgomery county it does
seem as though the railroads should
make an excursion rate from Cofey-
vile to Independence at each term of
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

Now that a Republican candidate for
mayor Of New York has been found.
the rest Of the people viii breathe a
sigh Of relief. knowing that they have
ascanad Il.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14
lie sTANDARD on.

New York's population is fncreas-
ing so rapidly that the graft ought
soon to be big enough to enable Tam
many to declare extra dividends
Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14
THE PROMINENT CITIZEN

An Arkansas mob has lynched the
wrong man again, but trifting mistakes
like that never disconcert the ''promi-
nent citizens who engage in the lynch
ing business.-New York World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

A Leavenworth barber made the mis-
take OF calling Judge Pollock &C. c.
Coleman The punishment that will
be melted out to the barber has not yet
been decided upon
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

The News-Scimitar Of Memphis de-
votes an entire column to discussing
the subject. What If Roosevelt Had
Failed2" That is about the only way
to get at anything to say against
oosevelt=Knoxville (Tenn.) Jour
nal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

The day cannot come any too soon
when our inventive genius will devise
ening OF the live wire.-Chicago Inter
Ocean.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

An Ohio college president thinks that
a lot of the churches ought to be
burned. How would it do to fill the
churches instead Of burning them?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14
HARD 10 BELIEvE.

Paris papers. say that a French wo-
man chased a mouse and found $1,000
in gold. Anybody who can believe the
first half of this story Will have no
trouble with the rest of it.-Chicago
Post
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

The election notices in New York take
up 20 columns Of the New York Tri-
bune. But New Workers don't really
have to read them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

The kaiser has been grinding out ul-
timatums again. The kaiser always
seems to have plenty of raw material
for the manufacture of ultimatums.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

one argument against eleeting ]. L.
Bristow to the United States senate is
that it would take him away from edit
ing the salIna journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14
A CRUEL. CRUEL CIT.

State superintendent Dayhoff had a
finger cut off by car door closing on
1t the other day. Good chance for the
other crowd to feel jubilant over the
added security for the school fund
heard of Tom Kelly losing any fingers,
have YOU ?--Cinaarron Jacksonian.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14
OPEN SEASON FOR GUIDES.

The big game season has opened in
Maine. By the way, the fool with a
gun is not usually the man who is
killed by it.-Philadelphia Inquirer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14
HUMOR OF TIE DAY

Prospective Purchaser---Yo GU say TINS
is q healthy place, yet the man next
door is confined to his bed. HOW 40
you account for that?
Real Estate Agent-Oh, he's g doc
tor, and is slowly dying OF starVa non
Chicago News.
Artist Gin the Adirondacks)-''A Many
painters around here?'
Guide-"Oh we shoot one occasion
ally Puck.
Freddie-What' the differences be-
tween being sick and an invalid.
Cobwigger-An invalid, my Boy Is
one who makes those around him SICK.
-Harper's Bazaar
Prue-why don't you break the enc
gagement if you ind you no longer
Marjorie-"I've just discovered that
he wants to break it himself ~ ucS'
wen, how is the new opera house
progressing ?' inquired the patent
churn man who had just returned
from somewhat extended trip. First
ratel" triumphantiy replied Ene la1G-
lord of the TuIIytoWu tavern. the
walls are up. high enough sos man
was able to fall of yesterday ana
break his collar bone. Puck.
ssIn what sort OF meter u Scrfbbler's
poem written?s sGas meter What
the $50 many unnecessary feet,
you know."-Cleveland Leader.
what dc you know about the world,
sir? Didn't you spend your youth in a
theoIogical ssuinary?'' '.Ah, but 1t WAS
right next to a girls college''-Life.
ssDid I understand you to say that
all rum-selltng has been stopped IN
your town % mot at ali. merely said
it was strictly prohibited. ''-Philadel-
pi1ia Press.
Farmer Hornbeak-Your niece that
graduated from the academy lately
plays the piano pretty well, don't shes
Farmer Honk-You betcha! Why, shes
a regular pioneer!-Puck.
Edith-''Papa is Immensely pleased to
hear you are a poet" F'erdy-+1s he9''
Edith-''Oh, very-the last Of my lovers
he tried to lick was a football player
Chicago Daily News.
Lady-"What is the real difference
between an apartment a fat, and a
tenement house?" Janitor-"In an
apartment the ladies' don't nave no
children; in fat they have one or
two. More than two makes any house
a tenement, mum. Judge
''Why do you want to amass all this
money from street railway franchises Z"
asked the man of simple tastes. 80
that I can have an automobile" an
swered the street railway official, land
not have to be put to the annoyance OF
depending on my own street cars -
washington Star.
A learned clergyman was talking
with an illiterate preacher who pro-
fessed to despise education.
fsYou have been to college, I sup
pose % asked the professor
Il have, sir was the curt answer.
Il am thankful" said the ignorant
one that the Lord has opened my
mouth to preach without learning"
"A similar event occurred in Ba-
Iaam's time was the retort.-Har-
per's Weekly
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

General Gomez says that liberty is
dead in Cuba. 1t is no longer possible
for a man to 90 out and spread yellow
fever around as he once could do.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14
E.adN OLTER PEMS
REsUIr lie sANE.

Judge Parker persists IN overlooking
the important fact HAT all the life in
surance companies in christendom
could not have insured his political life
last year.-Butte Inter-Mountain.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

These are certainly troublous times
down along the Wabash.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

There is talk of drafting Colonel
"BiH" sapp Of Galena for the Demo-
cratic nomination for governor next
year. But it won't be done if Colonel
''Bn" can draft somebody else first.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

Anyway Ramsey wasn't beaten as
bad as Parker. Ramsey was only 1885,,
e7O votes behind Gould.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

Although Mr.. Mccall insists that he
is a poor man it will not be necessary
to take up any contributions for his
r~1feF
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

The State Journal IS a member Of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report OF that great news or
8anization for exclusive evening publ
cation in Topeka.
The state Journal receives for exclusive
publication the leased wire report of the
publishers Press for the edition for sun
day morning
The news fs received in the State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

The chorus girl win also testify that
the angels" are invariably men.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

what dc you know about the world,
sfr2 Didn't you spend your youth in a
theological Seminary" "Ah, but it was
right next to q girls college. Life.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

did I understand you to say that
all rum-seiling has been stopped in
your town % Not at ali. 1 merely said
it was strictly prohibited. ''-Philadel-
pl1ia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

Farmer Hornbeak-Your niece that
graduated from the academy lately
plays the piano pretty well. don't she
Farmer Honk-You betcha! Why. she's
a regular pioneer!-Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

I'm what sort OF meter % Scrfbbier's
poem written?s "Gas meter, hat
the 80 many unnecessary feet,
you know. "-Cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

Edith-sPapa is Immensely pleased to
hear you are a poet" Ferdy-.'Is hep
Edith-s'Oh, very-t1e last Of my lovers
he tried to lick was a football player
Chicago Daily News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

Freddie=What's the difference be
tween being sick and an invalid.
Cobwigger-An invalid my boy 7
one who makes those around him sick
Bazaar
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

Lady-''What is the real difference
between an apartment, a fat, and
tenement house?' Janitor-"In an
children; in a fat they have one or
two. More than two makes any house
a tenement, mum. Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

well. how is the new opera house
progressing 2' inquired the patent
churn man who had just returned
from a somewhat extended trip. ssFirst
rafeI'' triI1rn Dhantiy replied the land
lord of the TuIIvtoWn tavern. 1.-THE
walls are up high enough sos man
was able. to fall of yesterday and
break his collar bone, Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

Prue-Why don't you break the en-
gagement If you hnd you no longer
love him2
Marjorie-"I've just discovered that
he wants to break it himself. Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

Artist Gin the Adirondacks)-- - AAany
painters around here 90
Guide-"Oh We shoot one occasion
ally. Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

'sWhy do you want to amass all this
money from street railway franchises 2"
asked the man of simple tastes. 80
that I can have an automobile" an
swered the street railway official, land
not have to be put to the annoyance OF
depending on my own street cars -
washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

Prospective Purchaser-Yo say this
is 4 healthy place, yet the man next
door is confined to his BED. HOW 40
you account for that?
Real Estate Agent-Oh, he's 8 doc
tor, and is slowly dying OF starvation
Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-14

The great novel is still unwritten,
though my hair IS streaked with gray.
ATurieI is still dainty, fragile, innocent
and Jack is splendid man. I see
them both a good deal, and Muriel
stfIf calls me dear Jarvis.
have given up smoking, and
have not been to the theater for many
dav but at least little Muriel and
little Jarvis have all manner OF Won
derfuI toys and love their Uncle
Jarvis.
They climb on my knee and ask me
to tell them of my wonderful palace
across the sea. And I tell them OF
the Riviera with blue skies. blue seas.
the green grass, the gold Of the suns