Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-13
Pi-lineS and Pick-upS
The Swimming Man

The Swimming Man
The fellow with the auto may sometimes
cut dash;
When he is in the city and all records
seeks to smash;
The girls may flock around him and cen
ride in his tonneau,
But all along the beaches the autoist is
slow.
Down there he must stand back for him
Who takes the girlies out to swim!
also be an it,
And on the drives and through the parks
be something of a hit
On Sunday, when it's fashionable to go
out for a drive,
But on tho ocean strand he wonders if
he IS alive!
Down there his chances are but slim;
He's "it' who takes the girls to swim!
The fellow with the opera seats, the man
who candy brings;
The chap who plays the banjo; the other
one who sings;
The dancer who is '1ovely," and even
Down where the waves come rolling in
are voted very slow!
Down there no favor waits for him
Unless he takes the girls to swiml
Dowie is preaching against graft
Miss Orange-l suppose her new bathing
dress is her long suit?
Miss Lemon-No, her short one.
Despite the contrary opinion, the cler-
gyman is the best man at most weddings.
The men who were the original of Jim
Bludso will chip in 81 apiece and build a
magnificent monument to John Hay.
Here is sample of that red tape the
president wants cut: Postmaster j. c..
Setter of Fern, Cal, sent requisition for
some stamps and forgot to dot the '1'' in
his name The postoffice department sent
the paper clear back again for the miss
ing dot. For three weeks the town was
out of stamps in consequence.
Miss Peach-Your dog tried to bite me (!
Mr. Pear-After seeing you I don't
blame, envy himl
No wonder the czar is distracted The
After a man of coin and wealth,
never seek. you see.
Because 1 haven't money, though,
They oft are after mel
st. Louis boasts of its wondrous mar
riage record as an aid towards its hoped
for million population. But what about
counting your babies before the storlz
fiies''-or words to that effect?
Anyhow, Roosevelt will not lack for a
job when his present one expires. AS a
referee-of football games-or umpire-of
any other league-he would make hit.
Now they are making pies by ma
chinery The real benefactor will invent
a machine to eat (and dlgesD en-
Mr.. Prune-Did you take your wife
with you on your trip?
Mr.. Plum-No; I went for pleasure.
The best way out of scrapes is to let
your whIskers grow-for all; that is. ex-
cept the BARRIERS.
1t isn't called the face of the earth be-
cause it's dirty.
Miss Quince-You might have guessed
that she would refuse you.
Mr.. Apricot-I did,
"And--T
"She did"
1t wouldn't be right to call Russia's new
naval appropriation q sinking fund, but
that's what 1t looks like.
Five Missouri picnickers were poisoned
by lemonade. They should be careful
about dallying with unfamiliar brands of
drink and stick to their beer.
A Louisville man heard mocking bird
whistle the other night, thought 1t was a
police signal, and ran like mad. Either
they have bad consciences there, or take
strange brands, TO produce such effects.
Can 1t be possible that Russia once had
a Peter the Great? And an Ivan the
Terrible?
DR.. Thompson OF st. Louis has found
the smallpox germ No reward being
Investment worries are
taken care of by the worry
mill of the Merchants Trust
Corsavaonu