The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-20
HUM0le OF THE Day

HUMOzS OF THE DAY
Don't hist a man when he is down. He
may get up and lick thunder out of you
Philadelphia Record.
Tess-Do you think Marie's photographs
do her Justice?
cy.-Detroit Tribune.
Bleeker-Your wife Is something of q
wit. She tried to make game Of me at
the reception last night.
Meeker-Huhi That's nothing; Sne OF
He's sorry now that he quarreled with
! s'She has gone home to her mother.
no; she's had her mother come home
TO her."-PhiladeIph1a Press.
you never hear of the scadweils' FAM
Soeei said nG Brooks They have accu-
mulated so many bones that everybody
has forgotten its existence. Chicago fri-
bune.
Mabel. who was visiting in the country,
was sent to the barn, where the hired
man was shearing sheep, to look for her
grandpa. She soon returned and said:
Him amt out there: amt nobody there
but man peelin' Sleeps. Chicago News
The young woman in the stern of the
little boat had whispered softly the word
yes But stay. right where you are,
Jack she added, hastily. IF you try to
kiss ss, me you'll upset the Il, , boat; ds5-
ed Jack, a horrible suspicion already tak-
ing possession of i1im.-Chicago Tribune.
''It is hard to tell whom you can trust
yes" answered the other Sometimes
think there Is such thing as honesty.
You never know who is going to turn
states evidence next. shington Star.
Mr. Bashleigh-Miss Dora, couldn't be-
gin Toto tell you how much IL
Dora Hope-You certainly have been a
long time beginning, my poor boy. Go
| ahead Chicago Tribune.
You don't, have popular education in
NO answered the Russian. I'VE are
| too busy with our l. o. US to bother
about our "A C's. Washington Star.
Sunday School Teacher-Johnny, in what
way do men frequently violate the COM
mandment.. Thou shalt not steal''?
! Sunday School Teacher-Is he better ir-
formed on the subject than you are?
! Johnny-He ought &c be- His father sells
coal in the winter and ice in the summer
Chicago News.
Maude-And why do the Jockeys wear
those funny little caps7
Claude-W hy-er-those are the handi-
! y
Admitting Young Listener-And how did
You n,I lose se your leg?
| the dog watch, while I was carryin' The
baby jib. l stepped on a starboard tack
and blood pisfn ensued-Pittsburg Dis
patch.
"self-opinionated? Wen I should say he
'Is that sop
Yes; why. he's positively bun-dogmat-
n
Bumper-You owe me thirty thousand
dollars which you say you can't pay. Why
twice that amount"
Junper-No. 1 can't do that; but you
the difrerence.-Fiiesende Slater.
did you notice the impression made
on Miss Stunning?" said the conceited
No" replied the rival in disguise. But
she told me about it. What on earth are
you going to do to square yourself ?''-De-
troit Free Press.
Bacon-And you say the Russians still
Egbert-Yes; the fellows who don't have
to do the fighting do.-YonlSers Statesman.
Martha" said a westport woman to
her negro cook when are you going to
''Doan''t know. es Ah'lI marry dat man."
replied the cook.
whats the matter now7'' she was ask
well. MAJ am" the cook said, shaking
her head, "Ah heah Abe ben runnin'
| round wifi ernuthah woman. Abs full OF
suspiciosity bout dat man. Kansas City
Times.
'T was looking about in Bargen's mill
linery department today" began the
scheuning wife, land I saw the sweetest
Yes" interrupted her foxy husband.
that's great idea. of Barsen's to pug
| mirrors all around where you women con-
gregate. "-PhiladeIphia Press.
TITS much easier.' said the scientist.
TO support weight than it is to lift
II haven't found it So" said Blk. 81
can lift my wife quite easily. Judge
Father.-rm glad to see, Willie, that you
We're sixth IN your class last week. You
were only eleventh the week before
Willie-Yes. sir; FIVE of the boys was
home sick all last week.-Philadelphia
Ledger.
Miss sinclair-wha didn't he marry dat
Coopah gal?
Mr. Frothinham-oh. she done funk at
de latest miuute-wouIdn't lend him q dol
| lar for t git de license wif.-Puck.
Many weak man has good intentions,
but isn't strong enough to carry them cut.
Chicago News.
| Jaek-Dora. how much longer have
Dora@why. Jack. we've been engaged
| only three weeks! When we are havitlg
cut it short and get married ?-Chicago
Tribune.
to be when you become a man, Ernersie?
When was your age | wanted to become
Emerson Lowell Backbeieh-The aspi-a-
tons of modern youth are so different nm