Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-08-01
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Two Men and
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Story
BY WILLIAM H. OSBORNE
By WILLIAM H. OSBORNE
Copyright, 1908, by Z. C. Mcclure


avenue there were many young women
who had some claims to attractiveness.
But there was none like Miss Sallie
Smith. She was the belle among bellies.
Miss Sallie spent some time one day
in deep thought.
"Well, | don't care" she said Il,
herself, BILLY certainly can't think as
much of me as jerks, for if he does
why doesn't he show it?"
Outward demonstration and mate
rial evidence count for everything il
this world. And the situation that
perplexed Miss Sallie Smith was a pe-
culiar one. She had two admirers who
were strenuous ones. The name Of
one of these young men was William
Burke. The name of the other was
Jenkinson. 1t was a toss up between
the two. But the trouble was that
while William Burke was the neater
dresser and possessed a more attractive
bearing, yet Mr.. JenkinSOn was man
who wooed Miss Smith in the approved
manner, by lavishing upon her a con-
siderable amount OF coin. Miss Sallie
Smith did not care so much about the
amount of coin lavished upon her, but
it was the only way in which-as
things go in FIRST avenue-the only
way by which she could measure the
quality and quantity Of a mans atten
tons. Burke couldn't be stingy, she
felt, but he did not come to time, as
one might say. Jenkinson, on the other
hand, poured his wealth at her feet
Now, Miss Smith was such a good
manager that up to date Mr.. Burke and
Mr.. Jenkinson had never met. But
both gentlemen were becoming so in
sistent that she determined finally that
she would make a choice. She was
really fortunate, for there are few
girls who have two proposers hanging
around every day in the week. She
would give each man a fair chance,
judge Of the devotion Of each by the
best standards, and then she would de-
eide once and for all.
Mr.. Jenkinson was trolley car con-
ductor. Mr.. JenkinsOn held before his
mental vision this motto: '"The great
est good to the greatest number. The
greatest number-No. l." And, being a
trolley car conductor, it was up to him
to put this motto into everyday prac-
tice. He had made up his mind that
Miss Sallie Smith was the only girl in
the universe, and it was his purpose to
make her think more than ever that he
was the only man. Fortunately, the
season favored him. 1t was the holt
day time and the cars were crowded
Overcrowded.
Mr.. Jenkinson laid out a little pro-
gramme to commence a few days be.
fore Christmas and to finish up with
Christmas itself. The important char.
acters on the programme were himself
and Miss Sallie Smith-a night or two
at the theater, a dinner and an east
side diamond ring to wind up with on
the day Of all days, expensive luxu.
ries for man with his salary, but Mr.,
The holiday crowds helped him out
Mr.. Jenkinson propounded to himself
a problem In mental arithmetic: If 20C
people on car pay their fare and the
indicator bell Is rung only 100 times:
a. Who will know the differencef
(2) How much is there in it for the
conductor? 81 How often must 1t be
done to carry out the Jenkinson pro-
gramme? 1t may be said at this juno
ture that Mr.. Jenkinson was an adept
at this sort Of game and also that he
had never been caught.
Now, 1t was just about this time that
Miss Smith, who didn't really know
just why, made up her mind to invite
Mr.. Burke and Mr.. Jenkinson to CALL
both upon the same evening. that even
ing being the night before Christmas.
They both accepted. In the meantime
fate was mixing up things just little
bit. Mr.. Jenkinson was solving his
problem in a highly satisfactory man.
ner. An incident will suffice to show
his method. 1t was the day before
OuIlSLIudS. Ills EOuIc SllilGu dL lily"
ninth street. Four blocks this side Of
Fifty-ninth street he turned his indi-
Gator hand back to zero. This was pc
culiar, because, as he had four blocks
still to go, and in holiday season, too
it is probable that it would be neces-
sary to ring up more fares. And it was
necessary. But he rang them up so
that they stood credited to the down
trip.
So far he had been honest. His next
move, however, was profitable. When
he reached Fifty-ninth street be had
received seven or eight fares which he
duly rang up. Leaving those seven or
eight credited to the down trip, the
first seven or eight fares he collected
on the down trip he did not ring up
Why? Because, apparently, they were
already rung up. This little scheme
netted him 35 or 40 cents. This Is only
one method. Mr.. Jenkinson had not
noted, however, that one Of his passen-
gers, a we'll dressed young man, en-
gagged in reading the newspaper, did
not alight at the end Of the trip and in
dictated that he had passed his point Of