The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1905-04-13

I'm still learning how to treat an Oil
wife. and so l can't give yol many
pointers about young one. for. while
I've been married as long as I've beel
in business and while know all the
curves of che great American hog.
your mas likely to spring new one
on me tomorrow No man really knows
anything about women except wild
over. and lie forgets it when he gets
ready to marry again. And no woman
really knows anything about men ex-
cept widow. and she's got to forget
it before she's willing to marry again
The one thing you can know is that as
general proposition woman is a lit
tie better than the man for whom she
cares, for when woman's bad there's
always a man at the bottom of it, and
when mans good there's always a
woman at the bottom of that too.
The fact of the matter is, that while
marriages may be made in heaven, a
lot of them are lived in hell and end in
South Dakota. But when q man has
picked out good woman he holds
four hearts. and he needn't be afraid to
draw cards If he's got good nerve. If
he hasn't, he's got no business to be
sitting in games of chance The best
woman in the world will begin irving
out a man before shes been ma ried
to him twenty-four hours. and unless
be can smile over the top of four
flush and raise the ante she's going to
rake in the breeches and keep them
The great thing is to begin right
Marriage is a close corporation, 500
unless Il fellow gets the controlling
interest at tie start he can't pick it mp
later. Tile partner who owns u per
cent of the stock in any business y
the boss. even if the other is allowed
to call himself president There's oa.s
two jobs for a man in his own house
ones boss and the others office boy
and !, fellow naturally falls into the
one for which he's fitted.
Of course .hen l speak of fellows
being boss in his own home | simply
mean that. in a broad way, he's go.s.
to shape the policy of tie concern.
When 4 man goes sticking his nose in
to the running of the house he's apt to
get it tweaked. and While he's busy
drawing it back out of danger he's 60
ing to get his leg pulled too You let
your wife tend to. the housekeeping.
and you focus on earning money with
which she can keep house OF course
in one way it's mighty nice of Il man
to help around the place. but it's been
my experience tlias the fellows wlIo
tend to all the small jobs at home never
get anything else to tend to at the
office. In the end it's usually cheaper
to give. all your attention to your bust
ness and to hire a plumber
You don't want to get it into your
head, though. that because your wife
hasn't any office hours she has a soft
thing. \ lot Of men &c around sticking
out their chests and wondering why
their wives have so much trouble with
the help when they are able to handle
their clerks SO easily If you really
want to know. You lift two of your men
out of their revolving chairs aud hang
one over forty horsepower cook stove
that's booming along under forced
draft so that your dinner wont be
late, with a turkey that's go5bling for
bastine in one oven and a cake that's
gone back OH you in low. underhan /
way in another and sixteen different
things boiling over OH top and mixing
up their smells, and you set the other
at a twelve hour stunt Of making all
the beds you've Elussed and washing
all the dishes you've used and cleanin;,
all the dust you've kicked up. and you
boss the whole while the baby yells
with collie over your arm-you just try
this with two of your men and sec.
how long it is before there's rough
house on the Wabash Yet a lot OF
fellows come home after their wives
have had day of this and blow
around about how tired and over
worked they are and wonder why
hone isn't happier Don't you ever
forget that it's q blamed sight easier
to keep cool in front of an electric fan
than I, cook stove and that you can't
subject the best temper in the world
to 500 degrees +. without warming it
up 4 bit And don't you add to your
wife's troubles by saying how much
better you could do it. but stand pat
and thank the Lord you've got snap.