Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1905-08-26
rr.nkness Between Husband and Wife.


Some one says: IF we were always
strictly just. there would be less neces-
sjty for being kind
10 my mind, almost the greatest
REQUISITES to marital happiness are
frankneSs and strong sense of justice.
for they touch almost every- phase of
the dual life. Where both husband and
wife possess a strong individuality, it is
unreasonable to expect that there shall
be no friction. but if there be frankness
and a willingness to look fairly at both
sides of the subject, matters cannot well
90 far wrong. To be really Just i'm
plies that one shall be just in thought as
well as in action.
From tie beginning of my married
'fr I made up my mind never to allow
myself to brood over any grievance, but
after my resentment had subsidized. to
ask myself honestly if it were a real
grievance or injustice, and if so, to 60
to my husband and in a calm manner
point If ont. and allow him chance to
explain or Justify his words or actions
TO approach a man in a spirit of anger
or bitterness seldom has any effect ex-
cept to increase the existing trouble
On the other hand, tie right sort of
man cannot but feel increased respect
for a wife who. refusing to allow herself
to harbOr unkind and perhaps unjust
thoughts toward him, causes him to feel
that, in her opinion, his errors in his
treatment of her result from lack of
knowledge OF her woman's nature rather
than from intentional unkindness.
When one has been wounded, it is not
an easy thing to conquer ones pride and
hurt feelings sufficiently to talk the mat
ter over in really kind way. 1t is so
much easier to pose as an injured mar
tyr in silence, and brood over an appar-
ent unkindness, than to speak out can
didly and in the right spirit
And right here is a point which can
and be too strongly emphasized and
which. If the truth We're known. has
done more to cause husbands and wives
to drift apart than almost any other
thing The worst feature of it is, that
the two most concerned seldom suspect
It OF being cause of their unhappineSs.
The point is this: many a husband or
wife who would scOrn to utter dispar.
aging word of each other to third per-
son, feels no shame or self-reproach in
cherishing bitter and angry thoughts and
broodlng over fancied wrongs till love,
sympathy and confidence are almost
swallowed up by GOODNESS and suspicion.
The spoken words may be forgotten
by the nearer, but the unkind thoughts,
being in ones own heart, are productive
undermine the foundation of love itself
for what is love without trust? We
should feel a sense of shame i'll ascrib-
ING to one whom we love motives of
which we ourselves would not be guilty.
How little can we follow the windings
Of another's thought. or guess the mo-
tives that prompt his actions and yet
how ready we are to judge and condemn
III silence those to whom our love should
make us most Loyal. True love is such
rare and precious gift that both hus-
band and wife should jealousy guard
their respect for it, and for each other,
even in thought.
a wife said sadly to me the other day:
Oh, why did someone not talk to me
about these things before? 1t would
have saved me years of repreSsed bitter
ness. If | had only opened my heart
frankly to my husband all might have
been different. As it was, it seemed to
me | was giving him his just due by
not speaking unkindlv If him. never
realizing that my bitter thoughts toward
him We're working us both much greater
injury"
What qualities do | most admire in
my husband? 4 readiness to be pleased
Is one of his traits which brings much
quiet happiness into our married life.
IN the management of the home he
trusts me entirely, and though he may
suggest he never dictates. He is seldom
too busy or tired to listen interestedly to
all | may have to tell him. Though he
tells me his business vexations. he does
NOT make me suffer on account of them.
ana Is always ready to do the helpful
NIUE things that mean so much to a
woman. In money matters he takes me
INTO his full confidence and partnership
Mrs. W. j. L., in Good Housekeeping.