The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-25
HUMOR OF TIE Day

First we had the Strenuous Life. then
ne simple Life. and now we have the
Aarmadulze Isolate COT Lonelyvne)-Pa,
Mr.. Isolate (weariiy1-Pu why,
t,urgatory is a sort of suburb OF heaven
Puck.
Mr.. stoplate-I- like western men They
have some go" to themi
Miss Boarde-You' re an eastern man, are
you not, Mr.. Stoplate? -Cleveland Leader
she-Aliss stirly had always vowed she
y YOU'D 1l1l never marry! How did she happen
He-Why, some one preposed.-Detroit
Free Press
It is noticeable fact that all eontri-
buttons to the conscience fund are made
anonymously. Can it be that the man with
conscience Is always ashamed Of it,
Boston Transcript.
Miss Browne-she's forever oon,niaintnp
but l think she merely lacks stamina
Mrs. Malaprop-Oh, mol She's got it.
Ihat what her doctor calls her disease.
She can't sleep, you know.-Philadelphia
Press.
- You said sometime ago you were going
Yes" answered the man with a good
JOB, but the statement attracted so little
c1tlGilLlOi 1 EOlGluQeQ i would SraW where
ton Star.
Here, Walter" said the business man
to his accountant; 4 have just given 500
to the preacher, 500 for my pew rent and
$50 to missions. What account will you
Guess I'd better put them in the ac-
count of fire capesr'-Yonkers States
man.
Let's go fshin'."
What's the use? Hadn't you heard?'
rim on the water wagon. Houston
baby big piece Of polk ter ehaw on?
on it?
Mandy-Dinah, don you see de string
tied to dat piece er fat polk? De uddeT
ends tied to de chile's toe. Eff he chokes
he'll kick, an if he kicks he'll jerk de
me nothin bout bringin' up chiIlun!-.
Cleveland Leader
The Mother-What a pretty picture she
the Girl-why. didn't know that she
paints--Yonlzers Herald.
'sometimes.'' said the literary man with
spectacular tendencies, ''One comes to q.
point where it is terrible strain 10 write
any more"
YES answered Mr.. Dustin stax; L
often experience that sensation in work
ing on a check book. Was hington Star.
so the congregation didn't like the
preacher and asked him to resign, Uncle
Jason?"
Yes, sab; he wuz whut de white folks
calls persona non gratis to de ehu'ch."
Not persona non gratis; that means
person not free, II it means anything. You
are a little off on your Latin.
Not at all. boss. Dot Wuz Jest de OBJ
Fiction to dat preacher We didn't pay
q dis rra
allus fnsistiH on bein' paid some sort OBJ
salaryl"-New Orleans Times-Denaoerat.
rs it true that the Bloptons are living
beyond their income?"
Worse than that. They're living be-
yond their credit."-Brooklyn Life.
You'll see the prospect bright'nin'-
Find flowers in the dew,
If you'll stand out the way O the lightnin',
Let the thunder srowl fer -youl
Atlanta Constitution.
Rough Barber-Do you often knead the
Mangled Customer-Oh, occasionally,
but you seem to need it so much worse
than do that you might rs well take the
rest OF it while you're about N--Balh-
more American.
NO" said young DeBorem, Il never let
What do you do?'' queried Miss Weary
IN Hang around till they throw you
Out?"-Chicago News.
What was that he said?" queried the
indignant grocer. Did he dare insinuate
that 1 ought to put less sand in my SUI
CARP"
mot at ALL When told him that you
were selling sugar cheaper than any other
dealer in town he said 1t took sand to do
business like you did.'-Houston Post
Mrs. Bacon-I see the walls of many Of
the houses in Mexico are from three to
six feet thick.
Mr. Baeon&I wish you'd run down there
and see if you can find a fiat to suit u.s.
Yonkers Statesman.
She lat the piano)-Who, in your ESTE
nation, is the greatest living composer7
He-I can't recall his name, just now,
but he manufactures a popular brand OF
soothing syrup.-Chicago News.