Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-01-07
WHEN HE BACKsLIDEs

The fat imam in the chair car of train
that left For New York on Monday after
neon last felt Of his brow tentatively,
gazed disHhlly ot4 OF the car window, and
then made his Aoan to a Washington
friend whp happshed to be going over to
New York at the same time.
don believe that I've been so VARY.
VARY good Gas ended to be when I left
New York for Washington to spend the
holidays said de adipose man. sorrow
fuiiy. and am SD glad that am now on
my way back to hat slow little town over
at the end of this line where l am now
living-New York.
Mine Is sad sad story, with muted
narpcnords coming from the wings. won
ger why 1t Is that every time come down
~ washington for the holidays, or for any
oiu tnlng, always go up in the ARP
You remember how many years I lived
IN washington. don't your. And you re-
can. OF course, that when I lived here
useo 70 CUT along at a lao fiat clip most of
INC Time, and that partook Of more and
olHerent kinds of suds, SO to speak. than
any real ba-ad Washington person who's
now awe and above the ground ?-that, in
sh Irad l., used to have It figured out. when
HVeo IN Washington, that every day was
Deeorauon day, and that was especially
SUI g.ea out aud appointed as the main
nat 8 the way II was Will
me before left Washington for New York.
now; by some peculiar sort of kink Of
, rMtI rs IN my makeup, as soon as
IeIt washington to live in New York, and
sar,eu IN TO mingle with the simple pas
sS 70 me that prevails around the corner
OF broadway and 42d street. 1 became
sooq' That's the only name for it-good.
CUT out the old game of rougn-hous-
my myself with damp articles served in
.ali crystal goblets and settled down to
Propity, peace and domesticity. Stayed
nome IN tho fiat nearly every night and
Played casino and hddledywinks with my
vile. strung up the old violin and began to
pIacuce Where l left OF about twenty
years ago. Got to going around with my
WlIe 70 progressive euchre blowouts, where
tney had frankfurters, stuffed olives, po-
tato salad, coffee and things like that, and
20. SO enjoyed that game.
You needn't grin. Fact. When I took
my VIE to the theater, we'd scoot home
70; 70 the nat and regale ourselves on the
!eIt-oVers In the icebOx, and I wouldn't
nave any idea OF repairing to a garish
0eWn-town feed-plant and partaking OF a
neht reflection consisting Of fourteen gin
nzzes and tongue sandwich, like used
TO When was down hero in Washington.
well, I've come down to Washington
Just -FOUR times since / began to be good
IN New York. and one of my main pur-
poses IN coming down has always been to
JUST show EN-. that's all. I've always said
10 myself. In starting out: TN Just prove
TO that bunch OF Indians down there that
there's one large, cumbersome person who
KNOWS when he's had enough OF sprawling
around and making jay Of himself-that
there's one member of the capital tribe of
paint-slappers who's imbibed enough bot
ties OF the beverage known as "Get-next-to-
ycurseif to fetch him around. And If any
OF EN- asks me to line up and be sociable.
III just hand him a chilling smile and re-
mark in quiet kind of way that there's
nothing doing-that I've left off all that
sort OF imbecility years ago. And then
oh nd
and congratulate me, and pat me on the
back and tell me that I'm all right AMI
then he'll go and pass the word around
among the bunch about what a virtucus
citizen OF the republic I've become since l
got away from Washington and so on
That's the way I've always had it doped
out when stepping on the vanished car for
washington over yonder in Jersey City,
here the ad1pose man again felt of his
head In q; reflective sort of way, as if in
some doubt as to whether it was really at
tached to his shoulders or not and re-
sumed, sepulchrally:
well look me over, that's all, And I've
been returning to New York the same way,
every time I've been down, the whole four
times Never could seem to make my lit
tie plan stick down here at ALL Always
got mixed up with a few Of the old crowd
fifteen or twenty minutes after stepping off
the train. and; from then on until was
due. and overdue, to waltz back to New
York. 1t I'D be one shadowy twirly-whirly,
n-and-out-of-cab-sy, dream. And before
I'd manage to break away I'd have met
up with everybody I ever knew In Wash
ington. and they'd all take deep, indrawn
breaths and mutter to each other. Same
old roaring Cherokee off the reservation
isn't her and they'd follow that up by re-
marking. Well. I'll bet hat he's keeping
the game a-humming over yonder In the
big town, hey?' and all that.
Say. wouldn't it all make fellow feel
like working on the breakwater? Wouldn't
1t?
There's no use in my coming down here
any more. Even If l happened to come
down and be good for once, they'd look
upon it as merely a temporary mental aber-
ration, and 1t wouldn't 60"
The adipose man tottered to his feet and
went to the ice cooler. where he guIped
down seven goblets of ice water in rapid
succession. Then he resumed his chair and
sighed heavily as he pulled his travelling
cap over his eyes for wink of sleep
Wont be glad to get back to slow lit
tie old New York, and be good again." he
muttered, land l won't do thing to some
tea and toast when l get back to my New
York fiat. will I?'
Then the fatigued stout man, who had
so dismally misrepresented himself and his
New York acquired goodness on his last
Washington visit, folded his arms and slum-
bered uneasily. while his Washington
friend in the opposite chair went right on
Erinning