The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1905-03-26

known this to happen; always creating
laughter at the expense of the smart
Aleck who tried the guying expert
ment.
When the celebrated Philip s.
White, the great temperance orator.
was in this State. he was very much
annoyed, on a certain occasion, by a
man in the audience VIII. when there
was applause, would crow like a
rooster, bark like a dog, bray like a
mule. or below like bull. and. added
to which, he would sometimes sing
out: ''Whiskey's rood enough for me;
how is 1t with you, White?"
Mr.. White paid no attention to him
at first, thinking he'd tire out and
quit after awhile: but he grew more
and more inSolent and boisterouS. as
he became more and more aggressive
in his rudeness. At length. when Mr..
White could stand it no longer, he
paused for a moment, until everything
became perfectly quiet. when he said
in a low tone of voice. just above a
whisper but loud enough for all in
the audience to hear him: Gentle
men and ladies': l hope you will not
be offended at the conduct of that
noisy fellow, out there. He's
brother of mine, who's been in a luna
tic asylum, for several years, on ac-
count of greatness. brought on by
>
harm in him. 1 brought him along to
show the people while I'm speaking,
what a fool whiskey can make of
any man who drinks it, He used to
have as good sense as any man. But
since he's become a drunkard he amt
got sense enough to tell whether he's q
rooster, flee dog, a jack ass or
bull yearling; therefore. he's to be
pitied."
The crowd roared. And some of
the boys got around the fellow and
crowed, barked. brayed and beloved
until they ran him off.
/ saw, several years ago, a young
fellow completely silenced by tenn
perance speaker named Boughton. He
was speaking from the court house
steps in this city. with a great crowd
around him. Every now and then
the young fellow would make some
witty remark to make a laugh at the
expense OF Boughton, and 50 he very
much disturbed the meeting. Bough-
ton saw that the crowd was with him,
and that the young man was trying to
lead a forlorn hope; so, he let him
have it i'm this wise:
Gentlemen" said he; ''that young
mans father is an old friend of mine.
He's cooper by trade, and the last
vessel he coopered was whiskey
barrel, and there it stands (pointing
to the young man), "chock full of
mean whiskey. The noise you hear is
the liquor running out at the bung"
1t so took the fellow by surprise
that his knees gave way, and as the
old fellow said of his horse that set
birds, "he squatted right down." and
as soon as he could do so, he craWled
out of the crowd.
A young fellow was driving a horse
one day that was in the habit of stop
ping at every house on the roadside
AS he was approaching a house, that
stood near the road, he saw some
young men and young ladies sitting
on the piazza and knowing his
horses stopping habit, he gave him a
tap with his whip to make him run
past the gate without stopping; but
instead of going faster the horse
stopped and would not bulge an inch
So the young man was forced to get
down and lead him off A mouthy
young fellow on the piazza guyed him
by saying:
horse?''
Yes answered the young man,
but l can't recommend him."
"Why?' asked the loud-laughing
mouthy young fellow, who was sitting
near his best girl.
Because. he once belonged to
butcher; and it makes no difference
who is driving, or how fast he's GO
ing, he'll be sure to stop when he
hears calf bleat."
Having led his horse past the gate
ne mounted and went on; but. the
loud-laughing young fellow on the
piazza, was in trouble, for the laugh
had turned on him; and. what made
him feel more like calf, his girl,
who was laughing, with the others. re-
but there is cow-lick on your head, /"
Ihey all saw it, and began to tease
him. His name was Calvin and his
friends, as well as his best girl had
been calling him MIR. Cal" for short.
one of the boys suggested that the
letter IF be added 10 his name, and.
win Whoop, the vote was taken and
Mr.. Calf" with face red as a beet.
could do nothing but sit and grin.
l don't vouch for the truth of the
Following little story, but, as it is i'm
line with what / have been writing.
give it as caution to those who.
sometimes, are a little too persistent
and overbearing. when occupying sta
tons of supposed superiority. 1t is
said that Scotch minister. who was
fond of his ale, was catechising his
pensioners, before the whole congre-
cation, one day, as to their knowledge
or the Scriptures, their duties and
other things, and lecturing them. as
he went along, on the Importance of
Christians letting their lights shine,
and setting good examples Coming
to a stout young girl whose father
kept a public house and sold ale, he
put the question: Sister, what is
your manner" The stout girl made no
reply. Pointing his finger at her, he
repeated the question: Sister. L say,
what is your name %
None Of your fun, Mr.. Minister"
said the girl. You know my name
we'll enough when you come to our
house; for. the first thing you say
when you get there is: Bet, bring me
some aleu-
The congregation, forgetting the sa-
greatness of the place and the dignity
of the preacher. put on a broad grin
while the preacher looked daggers at
bet"
This reminds me of funny incident
that took place in the court house
here in Raleigh, before the war. when
a woman had been indicted for keep
ing a disorderly house. After several |
witnesses had been examined. the
prosecuting attorney decided that he