davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Glenwood post., 1905-12-30

A Kansas editor classes sugar cured
hams as sweet meats.
The watchful correspondents now
attach no political significance to
Congressman Longworth's calls at
the White house.
A wicked Missouri editor declares
that it is no more harm to catch fish
on Sunday than to run down chicken
for the preacher s dinner.
Sir Archibald Geike, the famous
geologist, predicts another deluge.
There be many who think another
one is needed for the same cause that
brought the first one.
Millionaire Corey should have
needed the ancient advice: "Be sure
you are off with the old love before
laying in stock of new goods
A New Jersey footpad demanded
leash or kisses from young lady
whom he held up. She reached home
safely and not penny out.
An eastern editor explains that
bears sleep in winter because the
president doesn't go hunting in that
season, and they must have some time
to sleep.
A st. Louis carpenter has left his
wife because she talks in her sleep.
any violation of the eight hour rule.
"We sit supinely down while being
robbed says Governor Hoch of
Kansas. Not in COLORADO, governor
We stand perpendicularly up with
our hands in the air.
Ian Maclaren says if he had his life
to live over again he would preach
shorter sermons. Recall this fact,
dear young ministers. when your
hearers begin to yawn and show evi
dence of fear that the Sunday dinner
may get cold.
Congressman Longworth is mem
ber of the house committee on foreign
affairs, but will soon devote much
attention to domestic affairs.
Charity now covers multitude OF
shins in New York. A woman OF
that city has given 10000 pairs of
socks to the poor.
A Chicago woman says that 81, DOC
and love is all young man needs to
get married. There are many young
men who have cinch on the love
feature Of the proposition, but don
| Gppu xpboro 20 uat ha O00
The Glenwood post., 1905-12-30

The Denver and Rio Grande operates
through Pullman tourist sleepers from
Glenwood Springs to Los Angeles an
San francisco every day without
change of cars.
The Glenwood post., 1905-12-30

A Chicago woman says that 81, 900
and love is all young man needs to
get married. There are many young
men who have cinch on the love
feature Of the proposition, but don
know where to get the 81, 900.
The Glenwood post., 1905-12-30

Charity now covers multitude o
shins in New York. A woman O.
that city has given 10000 pairs Of
socks to the poor.
The Glenwood post., 1905-12-30

A Kansas editor classes sugar cured
hams as sweet meats.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-20

government can be intelligently con- ducted by the people. The premier is striving as diligently to establish pub lie schools, 150, 1000 in number, as the autocracy strove to suppress them. The road to liberty in Russia will nee. essarily be long and difficult, and no ore can thus far say that Count W1tte is not doing all that can reasonably be expected.
 If some way can be found to pacify Poland without leading onto the se' cession of all Poles, one could begin to see the bounds of the revolution, and the course of affairs in the vast empire. But so long as Poland is seething chaldron trouble will continue to arise there and by sympathy In other provinces of the country. Pc land cannot be permitted to secede without inviting the dismemberment of the empire, and right there the line has been drawn. If the Poles will abandon separatism they can have al most anything in sight, but the truth is. separation and independence arc what they desire. They have no inten' ton of accepting half loaf in the absence of a whole loaf. This is per haps where they make mistake, but if is a very natural and pardonable ol.e, as all students of our own revo' lution know.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-20
Mutual Aid Association.

This state is well supplied with mu- tual aid associations that find their field chiefly among negroes, who are, as a rule. unable to protect themselves against injustice. State Insurance Commissioner McDavid has investi- gated some unjust acts of the "aid' associations. and as a rule his inves- tigations have shown that complaints are well founded.
 Before the legislature meets in Jan uary, 1907, Commissioner McDavid should be in a position to furnish all needful facts and statistics in relation to the aid associations that seem to handle the ignorant, the weak and the friendless without much regard to rules of common honesty, to say noth- ing about the tables of actuaries.
 It is peculiarly states duty to de- fend the friendless, and good begin ming no doubt could be made in a con- prenensive investigation of the so- called aid associations which are col lecting money from negroes monthly in every city and town in this state. AS a rule the associations are of local origin. but whether they were char tered here or elsewhere the jurisdic- ton of Commissioner McDavid is com plete, and he should put himself In d position to present to the legislature the entire situation. His heart is in the right place, and his head will back up his heart. The situation certainly jusunes an investigation, and an in yestigation may call for legislation that will safeguard thousands, per haps tens of thousands, of poor ignor- ant negroes in this state.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-20
Plan of the Canal.

After all the decision of the consult ing engineers is far from being conclu- sive, or even convincing. When it is looked at carefully it is seen that the foreign engineers favor a sea level canal, while the home engineers are in favor of the building of lock level ditch. It is not possible to discuss the merits of the two reports until they are presented in full, and this will not be done until January.
 The element of time will enter into the problem, both in the Presidents mind and in Congress. Congress is the court of last resort, for if a sea level canal is to be built the sanction of Congress becomes appropriate, if not needful. Congress may decide that a lock canal ready for use in seven or eight years is preferable to a sea level canal that can not be dug in less than fifteen years.
 Congress should fully and finally de- termine what kind of canal is to be constructed. Three years have been wasted in preliminaries, and the peo- pie are becoming impatient. The first step is to specify the nature of the canal, and Congress should not eyade the task. Before summer comes again the features of the canal should be de- fined, and the canal commission should be told to throw dirt or else make way for men who will. The throwing of propositions and preliminaries has gone on long enough. Boss Shonts should lead the way with a shovel on his shoulders.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-20
IN HOTEL LoBBIEs
Beautiful Siqht.

Tt was beautiful sight said Judge James J. Mayfield. 'that West End park presented yesterday afternoon. It was crowded beyond even the most popular baseball days, and the fashion and the beauty of the city were there. The bleach CTS were more gorgeous than they ever thought of being in the days of the nat ional game.
 The attendance Saturday shows that football has a strong hold upon the peo- pie, men and women alike None of them were shocked by the alleged br1talities of the game, and there were none, for none of the players were really injured. Some had the wind knocked out of them temporarily, but they were soon on their feet, and at 1t again.
 After all, says pr. J. William White in the current number of the Outlook the merits of the game far outweigh its faults. Our civilization, he goes on to say, would be poorer through it's elimina- tion. What he shows Is that football exerts an influence upon both those who play and those who watch, which, upon the whole, Is healthy and admirable: that 1t is a valuable help to the physical de- velopment, which before its advent used to be so much neglected; that it strongly tends to the cultivation of the manly vir- tues; that 1t affords an outlet for youth full exuberance which otherwise might find a less innocent vent, and that the causes of such adverse criticism as is not inspired by ignorance or prejudice are really susceptible of remedy.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-20
New York's National Theatre.

Henry Irving did not live to see national theatre established in London. but it is plain that Richard Mansfield will be more fortunate. The latter has long advocated the establishment of a national theatre In which plays would be produced that would not per haps be commercially possible, and the New York movement is a promising beginning in that direction. The pro gramme of the proposed luxurious ree-million-dollar theatre in New York is thus defined:
 "The season will be thirty weeks. There will not be any long runs. Ten plays will be produced the first year. ten each year following. And on two nights each week there will be opera comique-not comic opera as Broadway unhappily knows it, but genuine, delightful opera comique, with artists drawn from Paris, Berlin, Vienna and other foreign cities, as well as home singers and contingent from the Metropolitan Opera house."
 Heinrich Conreid is organizing the new theatre, but the opera house is his home, where music outranks acting Tn the new theatre music will be sec ondary and acting first, and Richard Mansfield, who is now so rich he can afford to leave "the road" would as manager of it give it tone and stand ard at once.
 But with or without MT. Mansfield the new theatre will be a distinct gain to art and to the stage as a means of education. It will come, too, at a time when the country's play houses are filled with rubbish, and no doubt it will be helpful from the outset in turn ing public taste in the right direction.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-20
Premier Witte's Plans.

Fortunately for all Russians, the strike of numerous body of workmen is to be called off today, and the indi- cations now are that Count Witte will be given pretty fair opportunity to bring out of harsh and forbiGding cir cumstances constitutional government. The task is extremely difficult, and he is perhaps the only Russian who could accomplish it.
 The Cronstadt mutineers will not be hung, and the peasants will be ap. peased with cheap lands and easy terms of payment. All these things indicate the weakness of the govern ment, and every concession serves to embolden the populace, very much as such steps did in the days of the French revolution.
 We should all remember that two Thirds of all Russians cannot read and write, and that a public school system . all needtpl before parliamentary
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-20
IMMEDIATE ACTION NECESSARY.

This mornings Third Eighteenth street In which the old Damon livery Savings bank and the Peoples Telephone demonstrated the abso ue lnefciency of the good luck that the Loeb and the government building destroyed.
 The Aaeterad They did the under the an equipment
 sufficient neded there lack of hose fire plugs needed the central portion light service truck and a water tower added 0 the
 something will be compelled to sui proportion
 department as 1t has out many small town Its officials with its growth is duty which be
 properly Exchange Penny this morning. substantially construct destroyed because sufficient get to them
 the Birmingham depart Had another fire any part 0 city would of fighting
 immediately increasing
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-20
Sailors Suspicious.

Sailors are the most perstitious peo- pie in the world.'' said tar who is on furlough from one of the battleships of the White Squadron. q was reading re- cent1y where all the rats on a vessel quit 1t and swan ashore when the vessel reached Savannah, and I knew right away that something was going to hap pen to that ship.
 ''The very next day picked up an Au- gusta paper and saw the following article from Savannah about that very ship:
 Salts, and, in fact seafaring folk in general, shook their heads knowingly this morning when the report of the founder ing of the Russian bark Thomas Perry was received.
 "'When the Thomas Perry was lowed off the bar the rats aboard the vessel de- serted in droves, dropping into the sea and swimming for their lives in the hope of again reaching land and safety rather than trust to the timbers beneath their feet during the long voyage to Sharpness, for which the vessel was bound.
 ".Just before the bark sailed the story of her desertion by the rats was pub fifteen, but six were saved, and dis patches have not stated whether or not Captain sundstrum was rescued.
 "'United States Commissioner Hewlett said today that he had received a letter the day the vessel was to sail from a member of the crew declaring that the Perry was unsound and in no condition to go to sea, and calling upon him to take steps to prevent her going. MT. Hewlett found, on Investigating immediately after the receipt of the letter, that the vessel had already sailed an hour before
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-20

comes the reporter seeking "those pres- ent." It is tough job at best, but winter tries the metal and the temper of the man behind the desk. There is no man who has to be greater diplomat, particularly when 1t comes to extending the glad hand and smiling the smile that will literally not come off, no matter how much the wearer of the smile would like to take liberties with the English language Pos- sibly the reporter has the best chance of all to gauge the clerk, because if he is pleasant to a reporter all will be forgiven. Seriously, however, the reportorial visit forms test of courtesy The reporter Is not a guest of the house, and he comes looking for information which the clerk can help him get. The good clerk Is busy, but he never looks 1t. Mrs. Gottrox in phoned to the desk that she means to leave the house in the morning; that she never saw such service in her life, etc. Then MT. Clerk suayely fixes 1t all right again. The man who wants to see MT. Blank must be treated with courtesy, ale though the clerk knows that MT. Blank does not want to see that particular man. Three are making a fight for the regis- ter and the telephone has resumed busi- ness. And so 1t goes.
 It is a fine art The clerk stands for the house. A pleasant greeting with a genuine ring to it. not a stagy smile, warns up the visitor more than the din- ner that Is to follow. This city is fortu- nate in their hotel clerks, but there are one or two who act as if it hurt them to speak.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-20
POTTS SEES SUBWAY AND
 ASCENDS A SKYSCRAPER

Mex stop city 'all,' he says Hand there Hi gets thinlsin Hi was in an air ship or a submarine boat
 Dash me lamps, Hfll ave a nippy,' says Hi when He got on deck again, thankful like. The bartender e throws down is wiper. Bill he oilers .'eres a dub wants nippy. Wot the Hearst cocktail is dat?
 Lights O Leith, there hain't no place for a sailor but aloft, says Hi to meself. hand Hi steers for the main-mast--thet building Hi just shins down from by the stars. There were feller there in nice braid.
 Hall haboard! e 'ellers.
 "'' Fave there, says I. Are ye goin. aloft or below?'
 Hal the wye up, says e.
 That's me- says HI. Hand Hi gets in the bloomin' lift. Fave me 'eadlightl
 "Whoopl Hup she goes. The deck give me boose. He thought me propellers were goin to bust me old. Me cargo seemed famboyant in me interior
 'Hout four says a gent Fave me 'eadlight, the bloomin lift stops so sud- den Hi thought me cad fell hoff.
 Seven. hourt,' says another gent. Dash me binnacles, when the stop came Hi thought Hi was bird.
 Fourteen hout.' says a feller in white clothes and pipe. Fave me 'eadlight. l feared me 'ead would fall hoffl
 That ere deck went hup an hup. Hi wants to jump bout hand to 'oller Stop the bloomin' Iftl Hi wants to toot me siren band shriek. HI been on tops O waves hand below them-but 'eaye ma 'eadlighti
 What? HI houghter lave 'ollered Hout?' No sir; Hrse a British tar. HI sticks hit. Yessir. Hi sticks hit, but 'Arry Potts e walked down from aloft. Yessir 'e didn't sign on for the return vy'ge."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-20
PRESS AGENTS FOR COLLEGES.


 The press agent has been so valuable a factor in the case of many enterprises that even the colleges have begun to seek his services in presenting their mer- its and attractions to the public. Lately the University of Chicago appointed such a helper, and 1t has claimed the distinc- ton of being the first educational institu- ton in the world to take that step. But the claim Is wholly erroneous. Oberlin college, in Ohio, got the start of Chicago about seven years ago when, early in the presidency of the late Rev. Dr. John Henry Barrows, 1t made the Rev. James H. Ross of Boston its press representa- tive. To Mir. Ross. who has served the institution ably and faithfully, must therefore be accorded the honor of being the first college press agent in the world. Doubtless the example of Oberlin and Chicago will be followed in the near fu- ture by many other institutions of learn ing
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-20
Game a Success.

"Everything conspired to make the Ala- bama-Auburn football game a success" said Jelks Cabaniss, manager of the Ala bama team, yesterday. q do not mean to say that Alabama's winning the con test was what made the game successful. I was referring to the weather, the i'm mense crowd, the general interest in the game and the successful manner in which the crowd was handled.
 From financial standpoint the game was big success. The teams made more money than they have ever made in Bir- mingham before, and it helped both Au- burn and Alabama a great deal. It will about enable the two teams to pull through the season without any serious deficit.
 'If Alabama can have good crowds at the remaining games to be played in Bir- mingham we will have a nice little sum remaining in the treasury. I mean, of course, if we get from 3OO0 to 2500 people at each of the remaining games.
 'I see no reason why we should not have that many. Alabama has the best team she has ever had, and believe we could defeat any team in the south now with the exception of Vanderbilt and pos sibly Clemson. I believe we could hold Vanderbilt down to the lowest score of the season.
 ..The people of Birmingham should and will appreciate the strength of Ala bamas team this year, and should rally around the old colors and support her as they have never done before. It will en- courage us to further efforts and will in sure strong team next year. If the boys see that their efforts are appre- ciated this year, next year they will re- double their efforts to have a fine team. The prospects for next year are exceed ingly bright, as Alabama will return sev- eral of her best players. and they will be better than ever before.
 q think that we were very fortunate to miss this rain. If 1t had come one day
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-20
HENRY B. CRAY

Centreville Press: Hon. Henry B. Gray for lieutenant governor. He is for govern ment control of freight rates He says that Alabama should have as low freight rates as any other state.
 He Is in favor of an increase of the public school funds, and free tuition, and free school books. He is in favor of increasing the Confederate pension, until every old soldier can live in comfort He favors better roads. He Is in favor of state control of convicts. He favors in.- migration, with proper restrictions. He favors a municipal code for all cities
 A popular platform, and one that will make him many friends.
 Ensley Enterprise: Mir. Henry B. Gray, president of the Peoples Savings bank of Birmingham, and for several years prominent democrat of Jefferson county, has announced for the office of lieutenant governor. MT. Gray Is sone of the most worthy and substantial men in the coun- ty. and if elected would no doubt be an honor to the high office he seeks, and the great commonwealth he would repre- sent. The platform upon which he stands is broad and patriotic. and his ideas of public affairs are in touch with ths nCeds and desires the masses. MT. Gray Is a young and one who has been a success in his private affairs. He believes in an equitable management of our railways, in better schools, in the states control of the work of Its own convicts. Ho wants a municipal code for cities and towns, and he believes that the dear old Confed- crate soldier should have more pension money than he now receives. For this latter reason, if no other, he should be overwhelmingly elected. MT. Gray is the man for the place, and the people of this state should not only elect him, but the vote should be so large as to show their appreciation for a clean, able poli- tician
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-20

money in day than in the first fifteen years of his business life.
 This statement, however. only renre- sents the average growth spread over a number of years. When we take tbe fir- ures oeaiing with specially prosperous year-and such figures, supplied by one who Is an unimpeachable authority, are in the writer's possession-the results are simply staggering. MT. J. D. RockefeI- ler's iuckiest year was undoubtedly 1900. year which swelled the fortune of many another American capitalist in a fashion almost incredible. During this period of twelve months the oil kings fortune was increased by the stupendous sum of s15o.- 0Oo,oOo. or say. s30. .O0O,0O0-an amount of gold which might well make an army of 2SOo brawny porters stagger under it's burden.
 That any man should be able to coin money at the rate of f2,5o0,O00 every month during whole year seems rather the dream of extravagant fiction than a statement of sober fact. but 1t can be proved up to the hilt Early In 1900 Mr. Rockefeller stated on oath that he owned Standard oil stock to the value of fe,2oo.-
 
 had been advanced 400 points. It had in- creased it's value five-fold, so that MT. Rockefeller's holding had grown from R62oOooo to sS1,o0O,OO0, representing clear gain to the holder of f24sOo,0oo. :. In the same year he also operated in the stocks of half dozen railways. A great boom resulted. and his individual holdings of these stocks increased f5, 10o.- 900 in value. Adding together these two profits we find that before 1900 closed MT. Rockefellers fortune was nearly as0.ooo,- 900 greater than when 1t opened, and when we consider that his interests and financial operations covered a much wider range than these stocks we can see that f3o,00o,00O Is probably an understatement of his years growth of fortune. Mir. Rockefeller actually made every two and half days of 1900 more money than he had been able to accumulate in the first score of years of his business career.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-11-20
From the New York Times.

From the New York Times
 0J S AVE me eadlight,' panted
 (O) Arry Potts. A. B. of H. M.
 S. Drake, in front of the Park Row building late on Saturday af- ternoon. Mir. Potts had just walked down twenty-one flights of stairs
 Fave me eadlights." repeated MT. Potts when street cleaning department clerks asked him what was the matter.
 Tain't yer town" explained the ma Timer, scratching his whskers; tits the wye we built it. Dash me binnacles, this ere town don't grow hout, but hup.
 Arry' says me bos'n this morning you kin go ashore an see Moo Yo'k, but sonny, steer wide O them ighfalutin yachts with upper tops like gundecks an a gait when under steam like a bark on a big swell-all fopdop.'
 'Hye. hye sir says H.
 Coin ashore I sees this ere town car- ries more canvas than any craft ever Hid blewed me shillings in, hand, says He "Arry, me boy, ye must go hup in- stead of goin' hout.' But, fust thing Hi knows, HI goes down. HI goes into the durned old of this ere town. Io seed the crowd go down ole. an, bein' has HI was dry meself, HI follows the crowd. A feller odds me hup for nickel han gies me check. Another fellow e oilers Hall haboard!' hand fore I tumbles to the game Hi was on train hand goin' like Old 'Arry through the ole.
 Old on. hold chap says III; HI would like to get hout'
 Hout,' says he. with a grin. 'Hout.' Me pilot-house was goin' groggy with the swiftness of the motion.
 Hold chap, says HI, Hi just come down the ole for drink Hi been sea- sick, hand Hi been portsick, but, splice me jibs, Hi never war 'ole-in-the- ground sick, hard hits the wust,' says HI. Let me hout.'