Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1905-03-23
OF the Surname Of Smidt
By WILLIAM PERRY BROWN


"Hammy he would quarrel and even
lght
AS he progressed towards manhood
these perversiles grew, until the very
sight Of ham "a a bill Of fare, though
connected with eggs. OF which, when
well done. he was fond. inclined him
10 yegasarianism Tor days thereafter
once. deeply ia love. one vital crisis ot
his life was doiefu1y preeipiJated by
his hearts Idol through this sometime
mgrained idiosy ncrasy OF his sensitive
soul
Having about bankrupted himself be-
tween the thealer ana a private supper
room in the SWEETEST OF cafes. what was
his dismay when Agnes insisted not
only on this, 20 him. eXcruciating dish
for both. bat preceded IL with a raw
hamburger sandwich Tor herself
Better try one. too, she urged 4
am So dyepeptic, Dr. seymour orders Il
for me when am % eat late suppers.
Ever notice his beard2 Cousin Dolly
harrison says there's something hyp-
motto about a Fandyke beard Smidt
boltcd a little oil tie hamburger and
minced at the broiled ham. bur his man
ner was such that Agnes felt dubious.
III De doesn't like what like now.
ahe thought. how long after We are
married viii he continue 20 like me2
While thus beclouding her own fem
mime conceptions her lover, glOomliy
eyiug her, arranged with himself TO
propose during the dessert stage.
n viii give him one more chance 70
brighten up. she thought and ordered
Hamburg grapes together with
Hamlet punch"
This last strange compound, instead
OF the usual m0dicum 81 filtered coffee.
was her special concession 70 watt
Hammy out OF the doldrums by appeals
ing at once 70 the only poetic part Of his
name observable through a microscope,
and thus exhilerate him into good hui
NOR again Alas Il proved the final
straw TO her already overstralned pa
thence He saw only a further trial Of
Lis endurance. took peach and honey
for himself, Ninking boldly a the know
ing waiter. drank desperately offered
himself ia a suffering. boisterous. un-
natural way, and was refused with a
hauteur that turned his whole internal
economy 10 hitterest gall in an instant
Through an open door just then was
seen a handsome man wearing a yan-
dyke beard and the well-bred air of one
used 10 having largely his own way with
the fair ehgibles OF his professional
constituency whenever he chose 90 eX-
err himself While Smidt sll sulked
Agnes. womanlike. swept instantly 70
q further revenge for nothing % par
ticular By risins leaving her unhappy
sutton. and Joining Tie handsome man
without
Dam Seymour groaned Hammy as
b. saw them disappear 'I-thought
she loved me little but what chance
has q poor. common man. named Ham
smidt against a dude doctor named
Seymour. with hypnotic beard BE-
llcye I'm die-extingush myself
Here came the waiter with the bill
ra, for bis tip When poor Smidt had
satisfied these claims De had not enough
change left 10 buy poison with. sey-
mour had relieved him Of Agnes Death
should relieve him of the name Ham
smidt and transfer his misery 10 Agnes
aid tie hypnotic beard Suicide and a
stylish funerau Remorse would haunt
the authors OF his despair. or at least
A .-..-. fr.r F1.5 fa-fa Nrr ,.a4 rsoars5s.f-
lied him. unless with disgust She
would attend his funeral perhaps In
tears, therefore he must be buried la
style great style.
AS DE morbidly dwelt on this idea for
DAYS death seemed terrible only as it
lacked eclat A pairician horror Of
cheap collins. tawdry trimmings and an
unapprec.ative undertaken associated
itself rs lis mind with a sort of potters1
ae,diau forretfuiuess on the part Of AZ /
nos How else could she be made ofee
wha. she bad missed So poinledly as
Is poa humoa display that should as
- were inve ht momor % what She
lal o SHE'S ~he mcst splendid aroma
q soar aiap, Eos be "a fle SAVINGS II
a moderate aafs
Pin the difficulties even smt-
lated endurance ma Agnes Da bly
snrnamed aefmour HreN in bis mind
eye s reIr fCii cNaiierated at lImes
s. complies ARE Geu auG mos
m W sn allow IONS
asa Colquerar gls
e#| Hn Ua.eva ufts