Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-03-04
WAS AN EASY MARK

WAS AN EASY MARK
Look here. my DEAR" this pension Office
clerk had often said to his wife On week
days when he had remained at home, do
you know that your habit of steeplechasing
to the front and basement doors every time
the gongs thereof are changed by wandering
hucksters, peripatetic bunco artists and
Misunderstanding tear-wringers causes me
much woe? Why don't you yell at them out
of the window and shoe them away? And.
when you do feel 1t absolutely incumbent
upon you to respond so enthusiastically to
the naturalization. of the household bells.
why do you parley with them, and let them
talk You into taking things that you don't
want and can't use? Why, in brief, are
you so extremely easy?'
Thus had the pension office clerk often
addressed his spouse when. on his OIL days
at home, she had flown to the unsivern but
vibrant and insistent pealing of the domi-
ciliary bells.
On his first day off owing to the prepare
lions for the inaugural ball at the pension
Office this week the pension office CLERK
who had so often upbraided his wife Tor
being so 'easy" with the bell-ringers put
in the Hve-long day at home in smoking
jacket and slippers, while his wife attend
ed to number of errands downtown
| He blew vicious clouds of smoke from
| pipes and long black cigars at the curtains,
and in general enjoyed himself heap !,
He was reading the papers at one OF
the parlor windows when he saw an alert
eyed young man. carrying something by
handle in his right hand. mount the front
steps, The pension office clerk raised the
side window and poked his head out;
Don't want it, he said to the alert
eyed young man. Cant use it,
Sir said the young man on the steps
"you can see for yourself, at one glance.
that this is the cleverest patent sad-1ron
ever put on the market 1t carries its own
heating apparatus with it, can be got ready
for use in less than two minutes, doesn
smudge or smoke, is warranted to last
Here the young man on the steps held
the patent sad-iron up and did bit OF
quick and scientific demonstrating. HIS
sad-iron did, for a fact, look mighty IN
geniOuS. .
"Well. that is a pretty good scheme, ism
it?' said the pension office clerk. Nv ait
minute and TIL be out and have peek at
it." and he went to the front door ana TOOK
the sad-iron and examined it closely
mighty ingenious Yankee idea. that" he
said How much is it, anyhow?
"Ony two and a quarter SAID the alert
eyed young man. and the pension office
clerk bought one
He resumed his seat at the front window
and was reading the cable news OF the I'M
pending battle on the Shakhe when the
loud alarum of the basement bell sounded
throughout the house
"Hey. there" called out the pension Of OF.
flee clerk s stckng and hiS what is Oh 'ne
A little black girl with a large basket
appeared in the basement area
please. suh." inquired the little piacK
girl. .has yo' all got any stale bread Or
"Why, wait there a minute said the
pension office clerk. and he dropped his
paper and went down below to the base
ment. "That pickaninny looks pincheu WIN
his way down, land there isn't any nun IN
this thing of being hungry. Wonder II
there is anything to eat in the retris-
erator?' ~,
He found the remains of cold roast
lamb that his wife had carefully slowed
away for luncheon. Also a pound OF cheese
also two loaves of fresh bread
He carried all of this stuff 10 the baSe-
ment door and packed the articles In the
quite astonshed little black girls basket.
The black child all but ran as soon as the
sket was filled. She looked as II she
feared her benefactor might change his
mand and take the stuff away from her.
| The pension office clerk went upstairs
got another smoke going, and settled down
to the base ball news He had only read
| three lines when there was another heavy
pealing of the basement bell. Again the
| pension Office clerk poked his head OUT Oh
/ the window and called out. HEY, there.
| Glow bout a fine load of wood, cheap.
boss?' said a rawboned VirSinian, showing
a couple of pretty good-looking samples OF
his wood.
How mucn.' inquired Tic
only a dollar and half said the wood
purveyor, and the pension office clerk
vaguely remembering that MS wire mao
said something about wood. nodded. me
rawboned Virginian dumped the ioad OF
verv green saWed-and-split bougns in front
of the house. and then proceeded to carry
it to the shed at the back OF the mousse
charging two bits extra ior TINS MS 'a Ish;
When the pension Office clerks Wife got
home and tried to burn some of the WOOD
she found that it was only MT Tor use N
blast furnace, On account Oh It's eAtIeme
neWnesS and greennesS.
He had lust got his cigar going again
and was reading the ante-inaugurauon
notes when smart youth from the iahd
| of the cypress and myrtle, carrying d ioao
| of rugs on his back, mounted the front
steps, The pension office clerk heard MN
| coming, and looked out OF the window
You like?" said the Syrian, holding up
| a couple of the rugs.
Been wanting new rug ioT the pdlA
room floor for some time" unused the man
| of the house. "Glad this fellow has come
around. How much for that one he asked
| the grinning rug man, indicating the nrst
one held up for his inspection.
-Four seventy-five,'' replied the rug in
dividual, brokenly.
"Giye YOU four dollars for it,, said the
pension office clerk. in a business-like tone,
and he walked to the front door and bought
| the rug at that figure.
His wife could have got the same rug
downtown for $139.
! When his wife finally arrived home she
found her husband looking over port
| folio of French works of art, the same
being shown by a large man with very
muddy feet, which had already had their
effect upon the parlor carpet.
His wife looked over his little coliectlon
of purchases made during her absence
1T is quite apparent" she said to him,
that you just let the bell-ringers ring
and ring and ring, without ever moving
from your chair" and he detected what he
considered a sarcastic and reproachful note
in her remark and f1ared up.
Consistency is a jewel, but jewelry isn't
fashionable for men these days