The San Francisco call., 1905-02-12

girl writes me, and then adds
IN her despair, Il never seem
to do any thing right and am
continually mortified to death"
Now that is rather a pathetic state
70 be in, but really she is not half as
much 10 be pitied as one might fancy
at first. If she discovered that she was
always committing some breach and
didn't care much about 1T one way or
the other she would be utterly hope
less, but the very fact that she is SO
keenly aware of her deficiencies is her
great salvation.
Evidently she possesses the gift of
using her eyes to advantage, else she
would never have realized that she had
blunoered- Speaking of observing re-
minds me Of another lassie who had
woes OF her own, though they did not
trouble her to such a great extent.
She was one OF a house party of ten
young people. She was jolly and lively
and intent on having a good time and
making the most Of every minute. but
alas and alack, her idea of good time
evidently had not included a course of
training in what we call manners. "
She sat at the table with her elbows
out any old way that chanced to be
most comfortable. and she took her
soup from the end of her spoon and
twisted her fork in a manner peculiar
70 her own sweet self Every once in
q while she jostled her next-door neigh
bor's arm and laughed an apology and
ratified merrily on. After time il evil
oently occurred TO her that no one else
seemed TO be laboring under the same
difficulty, and she took il upon herself
70 learn why. First she looked keenly
at one and then another, and slowly her
arms commenced to move toward her
body until she had them out of her
neighbor's way and in their proper
place. And one more thing / noticed.
In making her survey she saw the diff
ference in holding and handling forks
and she promptly took the hint and
pTofted by her lesson. Gradually she
changed her tactics until at the end
OF her two weeks stay she was prac-
tically remade so far as table eti-
Quette was concerned. and doubt not
that she had gained many valuable
pointers in other respects as well. Just
as soon as the distinction of right and
wrong was made clear TO her. pride
and perseverance came to her rescue
and the rest was comparatively easy:
So say the girl who uses her eyes
is not hopeless. Of course. it is not. al
ways pleasant 10 be gazing about and
making a veritable Interrogation point
Of your features, but whenever you are
in doubt waste time by some hook or
crook and delay until some one has
shown you what TO DO.
IL 49,
first, and q good idea it is, too. When
she came last every one felt il a
bounden duty to sit and wait, no
matter if the soup did get stone cold
and the patience was sorely tried.
This state of affairs went on until
some resourceful woman put on her
thinking cap and found way out Of
the difficulty.
Perhaps she didn't realize that she
was helping the bashful and doubling
along, too, but such is the case, for un-
doubtedly if any one knows what the
startling array of knives and forks
means it is the hostess, for she is fa-
miliar with the workings and mysteries
OF her silver chest.
Once started right at a dinner or
luncheon, IT is easy to keep up the good
work. for, as a rule the weapons Of
warfare follow along in direct order,
and all one has TO do is to pick them
Up as each course comes along. The
extra forks, such as for oysters. are so
peculiarly constructed that one seldom
II ever makes q mistake as regards
them, but whenever you are in doubt
wait and use your eyes. Let somebody
ell
along comfortably and serenely.
Many times blunders are the result OF
bashfulness and nervousness. and not
through ignorance. If such is the case
with you. Miss Etiquette. life certainly
is a source Of much worriment. for
DO not know Of single thing that is
quite so hopeless and so distressing az
10 imagine that you have reached the
stage where everything you do is awk-
ward and everything you say just ex-
actly wrong.
Again, I say, remember your motto,
and ii reads, When you don't know
what to do, do nothing" And at social
functions you can easily accomplish
this, for nothing will be expected OF
you unless you push yourself forward
1t is one OF the most difficult things
in the world to tell you how you can
learn the so-called etiquette of polite
society, for il is something that is
rarely found in books. II / were TO
prepare a series Of articles on this one
subject / think IL would center largely
about -fOrgetfufness and the pow
ers Of observation. II you have used
the wrong fork for the fish course ii
only calls attention
10 the mortifying SSSSWUVWUwe
fact il you sit and -
brood over il, but ~
no one is any the ~
wiser if you chatter For the
A.