Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-08-05
BECAME QUITE DoCILE

The man with the flaming eyes the per-
spring forehead and the all-het-up look
siormed into the laundry just before clos
ing-up time the other evening and started
right in to unlink.
Say, look a-here, YOU" he bawled.
pounding with both fists on the counter and
trying to impale the young man behind the
laundry desk with his eye. what's the mat
ter with my laundry, hey?"
You are Mr.. Warmstuff. are you the
young man behind the desk started to say.
not yet realizing that he was only going
to be feeder for the ca,oric monologue.
That's who ami" shouted the man with
the carefully stored-up crouch, land there'n
be no use whatever for you to attempt to
pump any south breeze into me What l
want to know. and to know quick. buddy, Is
this Where tells my laundry
It's
Its just got to be done. that's ALL
broke in the stormy man. There are no
ifs. ands or butts about it, Your miserably
cheap outfit promised to have 1t done by D
O'Clock this evening. and l want 1t. Traits
all-want it, dye understand? NO blast
take the place of that lingerie of mine with
me. l want that linen. swabbed or I'M
swabbed and l want 1t right now. Got
that?''
ooh. Eve heard that kind of a spiel about
nine million times before, but you're not a
going to zephyr me along with 1t this time.
You were just about to attempt to fan me
with the gnome narrative that my stun
all swabbed and ironed and ready, but that
it isn't sorted out yet-that your regular
sorter's hat blew off, or something, this
afternoon and that you had to get man
born slow. But you're not going to get by
with that one this time, Johnny. I've got
the No. spotlight part of this sketch my
self. and what l want is my laundry, ana
l don't care whether it's dripping with suds
right out of the boiling vat or not. I'm a.
going to carry it away with me, II nave
to lug the boiler along with me. So you
want to get busy and hand 1t over to me-
wet or dry, or stand by to clear ship FOR
action, dye hear that?
'Sir. I'm trying to tell you that your
laundry was
WAS delayed in transit-Tve listened
to that one a hull lot of different times.
too. But there's going to be no such a
thing as your skidding past with 1t this
trip. When 1 passed that bunch of iaun-
dry over to this hanky-pank outfit on
Wednesday evening / told you people
that 1 would be leaving for the salt dip
at the beach on Friday evening. which is
right now, and you famed me along with
a consignment of superheated atmosphere
about having 1t marked special, ana
having it all sealed, signed and delivered
by o'clock on Friday evening, which Is
Dye think I'm going to wear a chaste
outfit of overalls down on the board
walk? Have you got an idea in your conk
that I'm going to glide up and down the
sands arrayed in a G-String and an eful-
gent grin? Dye imagine that I'm going
to strive to make hit riding up and
down the beach in a roller chair diked
out in a Navajo blanket and a cocoanut-
oiled topknot? Dye think I'm going to
stand for a pinch by walking into sea-
shore hotel dining room logged out IN a
suit of babyblue pajamas? Say. YOU
gimme my laundry don't care whether
it's done or mott want it.
Just at this point the proprietor OF the
laundry emerged from the back room
walked around the counter to where the
customer with the Tahiti typhoon on was
standing. grabbed him by both lapels of
his coat with his sinewy hands. put him
under the pin-point focus of his bright
hazel eyes and remarked unto him in a
tone that was redolent with meaningful-
ness and business:
Bill. want you to stop gnashing all OF
the enamel off of your teeth and sprlnk-
ling the floor with the pumice stone-its
too hot. Cut out that xylophoned work
and hand us a little WOODY saXophone
music for a change. Nobodys ABUSING
you NobOdy's got you under the gun.
Take a reef or two in your topsl halyards
and tinkie out of this Sahara simeon that
you're in, the first thing you know
youll be just about a quarter OF pound
of leaf lard, and it'll all be your own
fault.
1--WE promised to finish and deliver your
laundry by ) o'clock this evening, didn
we? Well. just you run away, now, ana
make for your chambers, and you'll prob
ably find your lingerie heaped up on your
bed The wagons were all out, and we
rang up messenger boy and sent 1t to
your house just two and one-half min
utes before you cycloned in here with
your blaze on. My young man has been
| trying to tell you this for the past eigh-
| teen minutes, but you've been tod busy
with your turret batteries to hear him.
| Now will you be docile?' :.
! We'll, perhaps / have been bit nasty.
| mildly remarked the man who had been
| in the dog-day fume but a moment De-
| fore and then he mopped his brow In an
apologize sort of way and passed out
you've got to learn to pass 1t back TO
| 'em just as they hand it out to you. Daso-
| bert, or you'll never make a MT In the
| laundry business" remarked the proprie-
| tor to his young man. and then they put
| the shutters up and called 1T day.