Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1905-04-24
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Onarles W ere any of your seal
side engagements genune?" Myrtle
NO. Simply war rumors. Chicago
News.
Casey-"Did We take a vacation this
year, Mike" Corrigan-"Oi did not.
oi was out on strike from May to
October. Puck.
Waiter, | find here in my soup n
needle-a needle. sir THAT must
be a misprint-that should be
noodle. Judge.
"How's you gettin on wild youah
'rithmedc, Lou:' Il done learned to
add up the oughts but de figures bod
der me."-Collier's Magazine
All in the brand Homer-"What's
the difference in time between Chicago
and Paris" Rounder-"Well, that de-
ponds on the kind of time you are
looking for. "-Chicago News.
He says he proposes to make auto
mobiles that will easily attain Il speed
or eighty miles an hour" "Whew.
that's a great business undertaking."
Yes. but most of all, 1t means a great
undertaking business. "-Philadelphia
Press.
How did they ever come to send
him to the legislaturc:" We'll. YOU
see. they were prevented by Il techni-
cality from sending him to the peni-
Tertiary and he showed no disposition
to move out of town Chicago Rec
ord Herald
Farmer Jones -"Wal, thar's one
thing | like about these plaguey auto
mobolists anyway" Farmer Brown-
What is that Farmer Jones-"They
don't mind getting killed themselves
any more than they do killing other
folk. Brooklyn Life.
Baggs so poor Daggs is dead.
L never got chance to bid him good.
by The first thing l do when | get
TO heaven will be to say how sorry
was Faggs suppose he
didn't get to heaven:' Baggs-"rhen
you tell him for me."--Town Topics.
How is your school of Journalism
doing" well, it is little slow. We
have no trouble in getting people who
are willing to be teachers. The trouble
Is to find anybody who doesn't think
he knows all about how newspaper
ought to be un."-WashingtOn Star
Il understand your wife is quite
literary Il should say so: she won
tendollar prize from the Ladies'
Own Journal with an article on How
we managed to save enough in two
years to move twice and pay the
plumber for connecting the gas range"
Puck.
Il don't like to say such long pray
crs,' said a little girl the other night;
II want to say nice short ones like
nursery does" What kind does nur-
sy say inquired her mother "Oh.
she just says. oh, Lord. why do
have to get up" '-philadelphia
Ledger.
Kfter-"That's nice umbrella
you've got" Llfter-"Yes. it was "A
present" differentiated: Who gave
it to you " Iifter-"Nobody gave it
to me. but it has an inscription on it
showing that it was presented to
John +. Jones'. whoever that is
Philadelphia Press.
odd Bliggers is such a strong Dem
ocrat | should not have supposed he
would consent to his daughters marry
ing young Smith. who is Repuhli /
can" well. Biggers says his wife
is Il Democrat, too, and he is going
to get somebody else into the family
for her to argue with. life.
The sick man had called his lawyer /
II wish to explain again to YOU" said
he weakly about willing my prop
erty-" The attorney held VI his
hand reassuringly There. there" said
he; leave that all to me" The Sick I
man sighed resignedly II suppose |
might as we'll" said he. turning upon /
his pillow; you'll get it. anyway" -
Judge.
Anxious Inquirer-"Is 1t true that
for fifteen shllngS | can insure my
house for IA thousand pounds" Clerk !
quite true. madam. If your house .
burns down we pay you Il thousand /
pounds" Anxious Inquirer do |
fire originated? Clerk-"Certainly !
We make the most careful Inquiries"
Anxious InQuirer-"Ah. | Thought |
there was Il catch in it somewhere
-Tatler.