The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1905-04-21
you go to 1erichor' vas the prompt

anu vigorous answer.
what! What's that. Look a-here.
you old Weary Willie. IL ron give me
any OF you- lip I'll stand ron on your
head. Who do you think amy
And who do you think | am:" hiss
ed Mr. Bowser as he thrust his chin
forward and prepared for battle.
There would have been a scrap but
for a small boy who happened to be
passing and recognized Mr.. Bowser.
Say" he called to the r-estauratenr.
that Teller hain't no tramp. He don't
have IL shovel snow TO git a meai."
''Then who In blazes is hey"
Hes old Bowser. who lives up On
First place. Hes wearin' them duds
because he's got a new fad
Mr.. Bowser left the house at $50.
At 9:f5 Mrs. Bowser received a tele-
gram reading:
Get a messenger and send my bust
nees suit Of clothes to the Office"
She had hardly dispatched the gar
ments when she received a second
telegram. reading:
Have fried chicken, orr fritters and
SWCCt ptI1tDcS Luz ulanCt lOuiEAl-
Half an hour later came another.
reading:
Have oyster soup. Have boiled on
ions. Have asparagus. Have rice pud-
ding"
Then Mr.. Bowser rested for an hour
and sent the following:
Have dinner half an hour ahead OF
fho .,Sua1 f;nn Haro frc fr;od ahfcE-
ems. Have ice ream and raisins and
nuts for dessert. Spare NJ expense
whatever"
There was one more telegram. 1t
came at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, and
it read:
"May bring home two friends with
me to dinner. Have three fried chick
ems. Have everything you can think
Of. Have a regular banquet, and If the
cook does any kicking raise her wages"
Mr.. Bowser appeared half an hour
ahead of his usual time. He not only
had on the business suit she had sent
over to him, but he had bought him
self a flaming red necktie and a rhine
stone pin and had his shoes shined as
never for a year before.
"Well, dear, what is it." queried Mrs.
Bowser as he entered the hall.
"What is what?"
"Why have you decided not to pursue
the simple life any further"
81 fail to catch your meaning"
"You read the Simple Life by the
Rev. Charles Wagner, and you started
| out t o follow 1t. Are you going to drop
it,"
1--WE will have a little talk after din
ner, woman" he replied as he made for
the dining room, and then Mrs. Bowser
knew what the end would be.
A banquet had been prepared, and
though Mr.. Bowser hadn't brought two
friends with him he devoured their
share. A shipwrecked mariner afioat
for two weeks couldn't have been more
When he was at last through
eating and drinking he led the way up
stairs and turned on her to say:
"Woman, this is the dead liner
"Why, what do you mean?'
Il mean that you have crowded me
to the wall for the last time. I will see
you on board the train for your moth.
er's at 10 o'clock in the morning"
But for why? What have l done:
You started out to live a simple life,
and
"And our respective lawyers can ar
range about the alimony. Should any
one call to see me this evening you
may tell him that 1 am busy ana can.
not be disturbed"
And when he had retired to the libra,
ry the cook came upstairs and asked:
WAS it a-readin' of The Simple
L.;to' Tat EGdc lin carr Oh SO
NUM-
81 think it was, Bridget"
Then I wants e Gui. ne job ct once
He May get hctlii OF Tie Fc-o.ious
Life aic real 4 lcrore be goes to bed
and who's TO say be went get IN and
eat pounfe1 GAS ;l:.: drink vinegar
and chop Us all 20 pieces wiz the ak
A-besgin' of yer pardon ten times V
num-, Eut we've got Il strange man or
yer hands-a very strange a
NJ. QUAD.