davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
Slaves of Fashion.

The aim of dressmakers is to
make money, and they find this easy,
as they have to deal with very silly
people. Each year they alter the
fashions and take care to do this in
a way that the dresses of one year
cannot be adapted to that of the
next year. Women are the slaves
of these intelligent harpies. They
blindly accept the fashions ordained
by them and seem to be entirely ig-
norant of the fact that what may
suit one woman does not suit all.
Dressmakers have very little taste.
Even if they have, it is warped by
their subordinating it to finance.
Occasionally the fashion which they
inaugurate is not absolutely ugly,
but it is always overloaded in order
that a large price may be charged
for the costume.-London Truth.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
Gilmore Was Misunderstood.

a short time before the civil war,
when the late p. S. Gilmore was
coming rapidly to the front as a
bandmaster, his band was engaged
to play at Music hall, Boston, the
Fourth Of July. At the intermission
Mr.. Gilmore stepped to the front of
the stage and, with motion of his
hand, enjoined silence. He then
made short speech.
His voice did not evidently reach
all the audience. At the front of the
hall they preserved the most pro-
found silence, having heard what he
said. At the rear of the hall, not
having heard what he said and only
knowing that he was very popular,
the people gave him hearty round
of applause.
The next days issue of a morning
paper contained the following, or
words to the same effect, "When
Mr.. Gilmore announced the death OF
Ned Kendall, the famous bugler, at
Music hall yesterday it was received
with tremendous applause. ."-Bos-
ton Herald.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
The Counsefs Ruse.

Sir J. Scarlet, afterward Lord
Abinger, when at the bar had on one
occasion to call witness whose eyi-
dence he was told might be some
what dangerous unless the witness
could be a little bothered and
thrown off his guard. The gentle
man in question, whose vulnerable
point was said to he self esteem, was
duly ushercd into the box, a portly,
overdressed person, h aiming with
self assurance. Af,r looking him
over for some time, Scarlet opened
fire.
'Mr. Tomkins, l believer"
"Yes.'
"Iou are a broker, l believe, are
you not y
Il ham"
Scarlett paused for few seconds,
and, making an attentive survey of
his victim, said:
"And a very fine and well dressed
ham you are, sir
The laughter which followed com
plctely disconnected the poor man,
and Scarlett's object was fully at
! tanned.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
Another Kind of Black Smith.

Colonel John Smith, very dark
complexioned man of Hollis, Me-,
was the wag of the town.
A peddler driving through the
town one evening discovered that
his horse had thrown a shoe. Call
ing at the first house he came to, he
inquired, '1s there blacksmith near
here?"
"Yes," said the man who came to
the door. ''in that big white house
on the hill lives a black Smith,
The peddler, thanking him, drove
to Colonel Smiths house, which was
the big white one." Colonel Smith
came to the door.
"Your neighbor told me black
smith lived here" said the peddler.
"Are you the man, and will you put
a shoe on my horse? ?"
Colonel Smith laughed and said:
81 am black Smith, as you can see,
but | don't shoe horses. You'll have
to 90 to a man of different color" :"
Boston Herald.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
Mysterious Guests.

People assemble in one room. \
stranger appears at the door. He
is dressed to represent some charac-
ter in history, poetry or song, The
purpose of the game Is to recognize
who the guest is. He may be Slndbad
the Sailor, Martha Washington, Sam
ia Claus or Little Bopccp or host
of other friends of us ALL The guess
ers say it is So-and-so, and if their
guesses be wrong the mysterious
guest shakes his head sadly. If the
guess be right, he clasps his hands,
bows pleasantly and disappears. \
lot of fun can be had at a children's
gathering where the characters cho-
sen are all popular with the chill
dren's tastes.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
Troubles of a Cross Examiner.

Speaking Of the tribulations of
the cross examiner, Henry Wollman
cites this experience:
In the progress of murder trial
near Kansas City he wished to learn
from a witness just where the bullet
struck the victim.
"Where was this man shot?' was
asked.
Fright here in this town." replied
the witness.
eyes, | know. But where did the
bullet hit him?'
Near Sixth and Wyoming
streets"
"You don't understand me.
Where did the bullet enter?"
at came in at the window"
"But in what part of the body did
it lodge:''
at never hit his body"
"Well, it certainly hit him some
where-he is dead"
"Hit him in the head" said the
witness.-New York Times.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
John Jacob Astor and the Farmer.

John Jacob Astor thus forecasts
in Golfers Weekly the homely serv-
ice of the automobile: The farmer
whose horses have plowed all day
and who, with his family, naturally
needs recreation when the work is
done will invoke his automobile
that as stationary engine may have
been cutting feed, saving wood or
what not, switch the motive power to
the driving wheels and with a JOY
full All aboardn be off to the near
est town, though it may be miles
away" Evidently what John Jacob
doesn't know about farming isn't
worth telling-Boston Transcript.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
A Snub For the Advocate.

In former years the Edinburgh
parliament house was regarded as
the exclusive preserve of the Scot
fish aristocracy.
Shortly after Robert Forsyth was
called to the bar, says biographer,
pretentious young advocate, who
was acquainted with Forsyth's hum
bic origin, had the audacity to say:
"Who are you that would venture
to thrust yourself into the faculty, :
Are YOU not the son of the beadle
Of Biggar?"
81 am indeed,'' sarcastically re-
piled Forsyth, "and | have strong
impression that if you had been the
son of beadle you would have been
4 bcadle too"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
To Make Mead.

Beat to stiff froth the whites cf
three eggs, and beat into them SIX
gallons of water, sixteen quarts OF
strained honey and the yellow rind
of two lemons, peeled very thin,
then cut into strips. Boil hard and
steadily for little less than an hour,
skimming frequently, Put into a
tub and let cool. When blood heat,
add three tablespoonfuls Of good
yeast. Cover closely. When fer
mentation has ceased, strain out the
lemon peel, put this in the bottom
of a wooden keg, and pour in the
mead. Let it stand for six months,
then bottle it.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
ENGINE COMPLETED.

small piece of camphor. Each piece
must be the same weight. Place
them in position on the cork, as
shown. II this is now laid on the
surface of a bowl Of water, it will
begin to spin round and round for
several hours without stopping.
If small figures, such as those of
a lady or gentleman dancing, are
now traced upon stiff but light
weight paper and then cut out and
attached upright to the center piece
of cork, some very llfelilIe move
ments can be produced, which will
last sometimes for a day or more
continuously.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
A Victorious Woodpecker.

A woodpecker caused heap OF
disturbance at the John Tantlinger
home in the western part of town the
other day, He got down in the gal
vanizcd iron smokestack in the early
morning and, being unable to fly
out, pecked a hole in the heavy
metal large enough to get out, but
he woke up the residents in that
part of the town while he had his
bill in action, as the noise resembled
that Of a timer putting a bottom
on an old wash boiler.-1owa City
Republican.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18

one day an elderly farmer. The man
wore expensive clothes, but Blank
knew him for a farmer at glance.
What are a farmers tastes? What
appeals most to farmer" he asked
himself hurriedly, and then he said
1--we can give YOU all the home
comforts here, sir
THE farmer laid down the pen
with which he had been entering
his name and said in a disappointed
voice:
4 want more'n that when come
to York hotel, Young man. | kin
git the home comforts at home"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
A Camphor Engine.

Here is a very interesting and
amusing experiment; Procure a
large cork and cut from the top a
circular piece about one-quartcr inch
in thickness. Now cut the remain
ing piece into four squares or OBJ
longs of the same thickness and
size.
Next obtain four large needles,
and stick these four pieces Of cork
on to them, and then, in their turn,
stick them all on to the circular
piece of cork, as shown in the illus
tration.
Now gum or glue to one side of
each of the four pieces Of cork a
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
A Remedy For Round Shoulders.

ANYBODY can cure round shoul-
,lers by very simple system of ex-
ercise. The round shouldered man
should 90 into the open air three or
four times a day, let his hands drop
to his sides and then, while inhaling
fresh air, raise himself on his toes
as HIGH as he can. The filling of the
lungs pushes the shoulders back to
their normal position, and if the
practice is steadily followed for a
couple of months the worst pair OF
stoop shoulders in time will become
! as straight as drill sergeant's.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
To Tell Pure Coffee.

4 portion of ground coffee may be
placed in bottle half full of water
and shaken. The bottle is then
placed on the table for a moment.
Pure coffee contains q large amount
of oil, by reason of which the great
er portion of the sample will float.
All coffee substitutes and some par
ticles of coffee sink to the bottom of
, the liquid. A fair idea of the purity
of the sample can be determined by
the proportion of the sample which
floats or sinks.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
To Sweeten Butter.

Butter, either fresh or salt, pos
sessing disagreeable flavor may be
rendered perfectly sweet by the addi-
ton of little carbonate of soda.
The proportion is two and half
drains of carbonate of soda to
three pounds of butter. In making
fresh butter the soda is to be added
after all the milk is worked out and
ready for making up.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
Sauce For Boiled Rice.

A delicious sauce to serve with
boiled rice is made from pint of
tomatoes stewed and strained. Then
thicken with two tablespoonfuls of
flour and two tablespoonfuls of but
ter Season with salt, pepper and
chopped parsley. If curry is liked a
teaspoonful of the powder may be
added.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
Her Charms Undimmed.

Friend-And don't you know
where your husband spends his
evenings?
Mrs. Beauti-I have not the re-
motest idea.
'Don't You feel worried ?"
"Not a particle"
"On what do YOU base your con-
fdence?"
"On the fact that whenever | en-
ter crowded street car a dozen men
jump up and offer me a seat"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
How to Read Coin Inscriptions.

If any of you girls or boys are
collecting old coins, the following
way of reading worn inscriptions
may be of use: Put poker in the
fire, and when red hot place the coin
upon it, and the inscription will APP
pear plainly for few minutes
grcenish in hue, but disappearing as
the coin cools. This plan originated
in the mint in the beginning of the
nineteenth century.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
The Saddest Word.

"Ma, MAJ cried a freckled urchin,
bursting into the kitchen. 81 come
mighty near maxim nickel!"
"Did, Silas? Why, haow?"
81 asst that man goin' by to give
me one, and he said he wouldn't. -
Lippincott's Magazine.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
CONDENSED STORIES.
An Occasion When the Bright Hotel
Clerk Blundered.

George c. Boldt, the noted hotel
man. said in an address to an audi
ence of hotel clerks, SAYS the New
York Tribune: There are no per-
feet hotel clerks. We can only try,
in our imperfect human way, to read
our guests. and sometimes, natu-
rally. We make mistakes, like Mr..
Blank.
BLANK was the excellent clerk of
an excellent hotel. There entered
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
Verv DecoIIete.

Mr.. Styles (at the opera) - 1t
costs a good deal of money to keep
my wife in clothes.
Mr.. Singles (glancing in the direc-
ton of Mrs. Styles)-And your don't
seem to succeed at that.-Y onkerS
Statesman.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
To Remove Warts.

Warts may be removed by wetting
once a day with the milky juice that
flows from the stalk of dandeion.
Let this dry in thoroughly. Another
remedy is to moisten the finger with
saliva from the mouth every morn
ing on waking. Apply the finger to
the wart and allow the moisture to
Jr,y IN
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
Small Wish.

"And do you think, dearest, ;"
queried the young man in the case,
"that your father will consent to our
marriage?'
"Sure thing" replied the fair
maid. "Ny slightest wish is law
with him" Chicago News.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
Nothing Between.

81 thought your doctor ordered
you to take your medicine after
meals, not before, Mr.. Boarder?:"
said Mrs. Starvem.
Well replied the poor fellow, 81
can't see that it really makes much
difference here, Mrs. Starvem. -
Philadelphia Press.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
A Need.

"What we need" said the indig-
nant citizen
"What we need" interrupted the
cool and collected person, ''is a pop
ulation that will insist On voting for
what we need instead of standing
around telling one another about it."
Washington Star.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
An Absurd Idea.

"I'm afraid" her father said,
"that my daughter would not make
a very good wife for poor man
"But, good heavens" replied the
boy, you don't expect me to keep
on being a poor man after I'm mar
ried, do you ?"-Detroit Free Press.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
Cleaning Enamel Paint.

Enamel paint must be washed
with clean warm water, using very
little soap or sand on the finger
marks or soiled places; then rub Wig
orously with flannel cloth until
the wood feels hot, and the luster
will be restored.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
Coffee Stains on Wool.

Coffee stains on a woolen blouse
may be removed by the use of
glvcerin. Rub it over the stain and
then wash the place with lukewarm
water, and iron the material on the
wrong side till it is dry.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
Comparinu Records.

"No, indeed she said, q can new
er be your wife. Why, | had half a
dozen offers before yours"
Huh" rejoined the young man
in the case. That's nothing. |
proposed to at least a dozen girls be-
fore / met you" detroit Tribune.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
A Conundrum.

"What pronoun is much smaller
in the plural than in the singular
number ?" questioned the clever boy
of his family. No one could answer.
"Why, T. of course" he said, "be-
cause big Il in the singular is wee
in the plural"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
Skeptical.

"Time is money" said the man
who quotes,
Maybe So" answered the prac-
tical person, "but l never could con-
vince myself that it is as inconye-
nient to be merely in a hurry as it
is to be broke Washington Star.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
The Child's Hair.

Don't curl or plat child's hair
tightly if you want it to grow long
and thick. Many scanty crop of
tresses in later life is due to strain
ing the hair while. the child is grow
ing.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18

"Yes," said old Skinner proudly,
'1uck and pluck made me, but most
ly pluck
"Yes," interrupted the man who
knows him, '1uck in finding people
to pluck" Life.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
TRY Your Tongue.

Peter Piper picked a peck of picked pep
pers off pewter plate.
Did Peter Piper pick peck of picked
peppers off a pewter plate?
II Peter Piper picked peck OF picked
peppers off a pewter plate
Where's the peck of picked peppers Peter
Piper picked off a pewter plate?
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18

"Have they d smart lawyer"
"Iou bet he's smart The first
thing he made them do was to mort
gage the farm"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-18
VOL. XXXHl
..---.., District Probate Court.

rt said Cnlrt will he held at
.a-r.d Tuesday of octoher aud
rau thv second Tuesday oi No
.. .l4f. West concord the second
.rr-r .cs HU1 June. Luucubur-
-.t-lr- gtis4uary and luly.
.uS .yii. G- nCld ut any place in
i.- ROBERT CHASE. Judge.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-04-08

innovation. Already It is being discussed
eagerly In Philadelphia. where the wedding
present problem Is said to have grown to
serious proportions. And Philadelphia.
though loatf as rule to copy New York.
is In a fair way to establish the auction
custom as justihable.
Perhaps the spread Of this method may
have its effect upon the givers of wedding
presents. They may be so discouraged by
the possibility Of their gifts finding their
way to vulgar hands that there Will soon
be no surplus TO sell. Perhaps this will
cause wholesome check to the undeniable
waste of money that many givers can Ill
afford to spare. Maybe society will return
to the good old fashioned habit of making
personal gifts. perhaps after a consultation
with the brides parents as to her needs
and tastes.
There is much to be said on both sides.
Should newly-married couple be forced TO
accept and use lot of stuff that is bur-
den, and often cause Of artistic distress
simply because 1t has been given unsoli-
cited? And should those who receive In
yitations to a wedding be made to feel that
the present which, in accordance with good
form, they have chosen as their personal
expression of good will and an acknowledg-
ment of the honor of the invitation, may
be spurned and sent to the auction roomsf
Where is the happy middle ground?
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-04-08
Thinking It Over.


The trusts have got me worried, I am
willin to confess,
L m tempted not to go to work. so great Is
s.. my distress; &c
For the trusts keep gatherin' money, win
ter, summer, spring and fall,
And 1t simply stands to reason that some
day they'll have it all.
1 see misfortune commin', an so mighty
is my grief
That III have to go ahead and get indus
trious, fur relief;
They tell me things are goin' wrong, no
matter what you do,
But guess I'll plant potatoes an I'll raise
pig or two.
I know them trusts are prominent in run
min things today,
But the sun will shine again, in spite of
what they do or say;
An the April rains is fallin' in rhythm
sweet an low,
An pigs-well, if you feed 'em they are
pretty sure to grow.
With pork and with potatoes, though they
aren't such a treat.
There isn't any chance but what you'll
have enough to eat;
troubles to review;
I guess I'll plant potatoes an I'll raise q
pig or two
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-04-08
The Wedding Present Problem.

The wedding is over and the happy bride
and groom have returned home and now
stand in the dining room of the little fiat,
gazing with mingled rapture and chagrin
at the wedding presents piled upon the
table. Such a prOfuslon of beautiful
things! Such evidences of good taste-and
similar tastes! Such an embarrassment of
riches! why is it, the bride exclaims
with a pretty pout. that so many of our
friends selected berry dishes?" And her
fond husband replies with another ques-
ton: do they expect me to carve with
AN six of these knives at once?" So they
begin to sort out the gifts, and to select
the things that, coming from their best be-
loved relatives and friends, have a special
virtue in their eyes. while in a steadily in
creasing group are assembled the dupli-
Gates. the useless articles, the ugly ones
and those that arouse unpleasant personal
"reminiscences. When this process is fin
ished tremendous question looms large
on the domestic horizon: What is to be
done with the unwelcome gifts?
The space problem is becoming a serious
one with many young couples. Few of them
can afford a dwelling by themselves. They
board keep house in a small apart
ment. The storage room allotted to them
in the basement Is meager, big enough only
for their trunks. They cannot afford to
hire a room at warehouse in which to
stow away these unappreciated presents
They cannot return them without incur
ring the everlasting enmity of the donors
Courtesy and. until lately, custom, forbid
their sale. If exchanged for other goods
there will still be space problem to be
solved What is to be done?
A young New York woman. recently mar
ried. has sought to solve the problem by a
simple and direct expedient, which has at
least the virtue of frankness and courage.
She offered all her surplus wedding pres
ents for sale at auction. There was of
course great rush of bargain hunters and
seekers for curiosities. II is not every day
that one has chance to buy choice bit
of silver or bric-a-brac that has been given
to a milionaires bride. But when the
throng assembled at the auction room at
| the appointed hour 1t was dispersed by the
simple announcement that the entire lot Of
presents had been privately purchased by
an unnamed person.
Whoever may have been this mysterious
purchaser. friend of the bride or groom,
| or an adroit dealer. the fact OF the private
] sale In bulk has not dulled the point OF the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-04-08
Southern Candidate,
From the Birmingham Ledger


Every few months some paper starts
that old talk about nominating a south
ern man for president. Such talk Is idle
No man should be nominated because he
Is from any particular place. Just now no
southern man stands head and shoulders
above all others. There is no reason why
any particular southern man should be
nominated. If the nomination were Of
fered to southern men today there would
be a dispute as to the man who ought to
have it. The talk about southern man
is always SO worded as to exclude Mary
land West Virginia or Missouri from
consideration. Virginia has no presiden-
tial timber, doesn't claim to have. North
Carolina has no man that the south would
unanimously think of as the man. South
Carolina has no such man, neither has
Georgia; Tennessee does not present such
an one. Kentucky has some good men,
but has never presented one for Vice
President yet in recent years. Alabama
has no man that she has thought of for
President of the United States. Missis-
sippi has not suggested a son of hers
Louisiana has not clamored for the NOM
ination of any of her favorite sons. Flor
ida has not said word looking that way.
Arkansas has not offered a son to the
party. Texas has said little about Sena-
tor Bailey, but has never sent a delega-
ton instructed for him.