Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1905-06-30
SHE HAD THE PROOF.

Mercyonnus returned to Washington
from her honeymoon she lost no time
in hurrying around 10 the home or
an old married woman friend for ad-
vice and consolation. The old married
woman friend, that Is TO say, was all
of twenty three years OF age, and she
had been married for fully half a year.
Little Mrs. M~ercyonnus looked very
nervous and ~perturbed.
What in the name of land k
alive ails your" of course inquired the
old married woman friend and girlhood
pal when she saw the distressed state
OF little Mrs. Mercyonnus. You are
looking dreadful. What is it?"
We'll, l guess you would look dread
full too, IL your husband made such a
terrible uproar In his sleep that you
couldn't sleep for Ave or six nights
running" replied little Mrs. Mercyon-
nus, poutingly.
"Oh, you mean that the poo man
SHORES? inquired the old married wom-
an frie~' alphabetically, yet with a
broad smile.
well. l suppose that is what it is
called; but snoring seems too mild a
term to denominate the-the-the
sounds that Jack makes" said Mrs.
M~ercyonnus.
But" sagely asked the old married
woman friend. why in pities' sakes
QOH you TURN HliH ONtl WHICH, ~ SAAo -
so that you can't Sleep"
Turn him .over?" repeated Mrs. Mer-
yonnu mystihedly. Now, what on
earth can the woman mean? Turn
him over! That sounds as If he were a
bug-or--or something!"
."Turn-him-over-that's exactly
what / mean, and nothing else inn
pressively replied the old married
woman Of all OF a half a years expert
ence with a husband creature.
But, dear me-" hopelessly remarked
Mrs. Mercyonnus, the great hulking
creature weighs 200 pounds. How in
the wide world would / be able to turn
him over?"
''oh, you don't have to literally lift
him up and turn him over" remarked
the settled married woman of twenty
three. mo such thing. OF course not.
All you've got to do is to give him a lit
tie poke or shake, you know-just suf-
ncient to half awaken him-and tell
him to turn over, and he'll do IL with
out coming to his senses at all. Hus-
bands get to do that quite automati-
cally. you know, when they're trained
that way. But you'd better begin
training him that way Immediately
but / don't want to wake Jack up,
poking or shaking him. argued Mrs.
Mercyonnus. "He says hat When once
he wakes UP at night it's so hard for
him to get TO sleep again"
"Now, you do as i tell you" peremp-
torily commanded the old married
woman. II know what I'm about. !
had the same trouble with Edward.
But now / have merely to touch him
on the shoulder when he's snoring-and
he does snore, too, something dreadful,
although he denies IL strenuously-and
he turns right over on his side like a
lamb, without ever waking up. And
men cantor, anyhow, they don't
snore when they're laying on their
sides. It's only when they're lying on
their backs, the poor helplessly old
things that they snore.2
Mrs. Mercyonhus decided to put the
lesson to the test that very night, pro-
| yided, OF course, her husband again
snored hard enough to keep her awake.
He did snore hard enough to keep
her awake that night. and she rose on
one elbow and noticed by the dim re-
Election OF the electric light shining
through the window, that he was
sprawled out on the fiat OF his back.
SO she reached out a very soft and
gentle hand and touched him on the
khoulder. Then she waited for him to
turn over. Ii didn't happen. He went
right on snoring harder than ever.
She touched him on the shoulder
again, this time placing her lips close
10 his ear and murmuring. Jack.
Nothing doing. Jack was running the
biggest saw mill south of Michigan.
and ne was running II for keeps.
'Td Just like to know what Minnie
meant by telling me such nonsense"
i,sar5..=Sa little Mrs M%ercyonnus to
Turn him overI I might just as well
try TO turn the house over. jack
And she gave him a little harder shake
(, on the shoulder this time, n placed
her lips still closer to his ear. The
only noticeable effect was that he
struck a knot OF ngnum vitae hardness
and resistance thai Mrs. Mercyonnus
actually fancied that the dishes in the
pantry ratified with the sound.
However she was there TO try out
that urn-him-oyer thing 10 its final
issue, and she gave him another prod
and shake. This time he struck half
a dozen big knots In a bunch. Then he
slowly quit snoring, gurgled q LOT In his
throat, opened his eyes, and grunted-
but he didn't turn over so that any
body could really notice Il.
What Is itg" he inquired. hoarsely
and drowsily. What the dickens is
coming or he-e?@
Jack" whispered his wife. with The
idea OF not fully awakening him,
you're snoring dreadfully. deed you
are-dreadfullyi ! can't sleep a wink"
-Huh? Me snore? Aw. cut II OUT
forget e." grunted the unturnable one.
Never snored in my life. SIRE thing.
Dunno how, Would wob-ug- -giick-er-
hcu--" and then he wurgled himself
into a still ~profounder snoring slumber.
But he hadn't turned over any
Jack" resoiuteiy whispered littls
Mrs, M~ercyonnus. swing him another
shake, with the idea OF mailing him
before he got too far away into
dreamland. won't you pul-leeze--just
to let me sleep oh such a teenchy lit
tie bit--won't you puI-leexe turn over
Ike a good old thing"
.This time no arrived at something
like genuine consciousness. He rolled
~ way. urfxmblfnw noY1ethi0G about q