The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-04-07
HE fiourishing municipality Of Hamilton, Ohio, has settled the
 question of spring house cleaning

Nk hE nOuilsnlnB municipality Of 0Y Hamilton, Ohio, has settled the
 question of spring house cleaning so ably that there is no room for fur ther discussion. To the average man house cleaning. whether annual or bi- ennial, is an operation fraught with much discomfort, and is to be avoided whenever possible. Yet, if We must have house cleaning there is nothing like having it systematically. so that prospective vic tims can nerve themselves for the ordeal or escape, as appears most feasible Therefore it Is with a feeling akin to admiration that one regards the esteemed City Couneil-its members are probably called Solons-which directs the destinies of Hamilton, Ohio. This body nas pro- mulgated orders in the form of resoln- tion which provides that spring house. cleaning shall begin in the First ward May l and continue unabated to May lS. The Second ward gets busy May 15 to May 80; the Third ward from June to June 15; the Fourth from June b to June 30. After that the city will be normal un- III time for sane celebration of the Fourth of July What an admirable fitness in this decree! But holdl Is il possible that the proud housewives of Hamilton are not to clean house except within the specified time limits? And will not the First ward need cleaning again by the time the Fourth ward is dusted out? And won't there be a great temptation for the male population of Hamilton to inae. gurate a hegira about May 1 of each year?
 THE BILL COLLECTOR. Pity the lame the halt the blind
 For these life has no frills;
 But pity the lot, the dolorous lot,
 Of the man who shoyes the bills. The wind may blow. the sun may shine
 To him it's all the same;
 His work is hard his pay is poor,
 And he's unknown to fame. The people flee at his approach,
 If caught they turn him down. He never gets a happy smile,
 But often gets a frown.
 He chases money all his life,
 But never amasses wealth,
 And all he gets for strenuous toil
 Is kicksVand robust health. Yet his reward will come some day
 When he seeks heavenly grace For there's one door-a golden door
 That won't be slammed in his face.
 An Indiana man-so many curious things and novelists happen in Indiana-- wants a divorce from his lady wife be- cause, forsooth, she knocked him dowE with a stick of wood and then walked over him several times with such earnest- ness and application to the work in hard that the husband will be a cripple for life. No one could possibly blame the gentleman from wanting a divorce-he is much broken up over the 'affair-but what an elegant heroine for a novel the iady would makel Then, too, she would bo safer in a book than running around at large.
 All the municipal elections have been held in Colorado with the exception Of that of Denver and the result was sur prising democratic landslide. In Pueblo, Colorado Springs. and Leadvile, which are normally republican, the democrats won a victory. At Leadville it was the first instance of the kind in twenty years. The democrats took about everything in <ght, and what "stuffing' was indulged In did not attract undue attention.
 IT WAS RED-EYE.
 Johnny Jones went down the line
 To paint the village red.
 But Johnny Jones drank the paint,
 And woke up with a head
 Dr. Edward Everett Hale has just