Los Angeles herald., 1905-12-11
Pi-LineS and Pick-ljpS
Turning Up

| Micawher-like hc- waited,
From breakfast till he'd sup
From morning until dewy eve.
For something to turn up"
Too lazy he to hustle
Too slow to get ahead;
lie much preferred to plod along,
/ Grumble and growl instead
At last all income failed him;
No ono would him endow-
He's turning up" things day by day.
While following the plow!
Even Whites wit cannot save Rus
sia it will soon be Wltte-less.
Santa Claus doesn't get all the
credit for Christmas gifts. We get
credit--whenever the shopkeeper Will
charge it,
Hetty Green admits that she is 90
years old. But Hetty never did care
what people thought about her.
Plum-Do you believe in taking these
patent medicine tonics?
Prune-Only in prohibition regions.
You can't always tell by the looks
of a peach how rotten 1t is. N. B.
This Is merely a general statement and
does not necessarily allude TO de
Peach"
Were they called the Hyde syndicates
because there was so much to conceal?
When Witte succeeds in enforcing
! the laws in Russia-if he does-he
might try the prohibition laws in some
of our states. They'd hold him for
awhile.
Surprised
The Pumpkinvine special failed to
| get ditched today and got in almost on
time this morning. disappointing all
| the town loafers. who failed to get to
the depot in time to see it go through
-Rayville, Mo-, Sun.
Orange--We need motor to make
| this invention Il success.
Lemon-A promoter is the sort we
want,
Onions are an excellent nerve food.
That Is. it takes nerve to eat 'em.
Platonic love creates an appetite
same as does any other tonic
Seeing is not always believing We
see men every day that we wouldn't
believe under oath.
Men who knock never open doors to
| better things.
Palm--Whats the difference between
golf and shiny?
| Pine-Former is more expensive and
| has a few new Cuss words; that's all.
Another man i'm Russia is claiming
to be czar. My, but he's looking
for trouble,
Women for Work--Men for Love
Miss Mary Williams, editor of the
Carbondalian at Carbondale. I<as..
| employs only girls on her paper. She
says that men arc merely good to
marry.
Why don't the grand dukes mutiny "
That would be luck!
I Funny how all the Euopenn mon
archs like to visit Paris, when 1t is
\ the capital of the only republic on
that continent.
So there are two sides to this in
surance inquiry? All, yes; and The pol
ICY holders have the outside. s. --
We are about to start to dig Cin
Washington for the Panama canal -
Reciprocity? In congress, it means
doing something for somebody who
does something for YOU"
Russia's Little Father becomes
smaller every day
Some 1900 ship passengers raised
their voices i'll songs of thanks when
they arrived in New York the other
day. But they had never been there.
Mccall still hangs on, but his fingers
{, are slipping.
Not every sad-eyed woman has
loved and lost. Maybe she merely
got the man.
The Winds Message
, Tho wind came down from the hills today
Whistlng so loud and shril;
He carried mem ries of far away.
: Where the days are white and chill.
"Eo! lIo,' shrieked the wind, as he
whooped along,
'''ris warm. soft. balmy here.
So I'll blow a blast of another song
OF a land ice-bound and drear!'
, "Oh, why" I asked must you whistle
) loud.
And howl round our houses so?"
THAT you fortunates may not be too
proud.
But remember the ice-land's woe"
So we hold out hands to the chilly lands
Whence the wind comes, sharp and
drear;
We bid them a welcome to our fair
(. strands
Come, share in our summer cheer
w. II. G.
!