Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-08-12
Calling 1t Square

The widow Green, living next west
Of the deacons, had been widow for
| three years, and it was common talk
that she and the widower would make
| a match.
In early spring the widow had bought
cow, and that cow had jumped every
fence on the deacOn's land within two
weeks, but he had always driven her
back home without word of COM
plant. On this occasion, however, the
deacon was vexed.
1--WE stood it and stood it and stood
it," he said to himself as he surveyed
| the damages, "but l can stand it no
| longer. The wilder Green must be
made to understand that her cow
can't 60 about like a roarin' lion,
| knockin' down fences and tramplin'
down corn. l estimate that she has
damaged me $40 worth, and that wild
der has got to be sharply talked to-
He drove the cow to the home of her
owner, giving her vigorous whack on
the way whenever he could get near
enough, and when he had reached the
house and been saluted by Mrs. Green
| he said:
"Widder, l told you two months ago
that your new cow was jumper"
eyes, you did,
"And that you must put poke on
her,
Eyes"
We'll, you didn't do it, and she's
| damaged me $40. When l found her
in my cornfield just now, l almost
wanted to kill her."
I'm sorry, Deacon" was the humble
reply.
But bein' sorry won't do, '5said the
| deacon, who felt that he had the adj
vantage and should press it. "Jumpin'
COWS should be poked. l told you that
| long ago, but you don't seem to care
| two cents
Il was goin' to poke her."
"But goin' to poke COW and pokin'
| her are two different things. That was
the way with Mirandy. She's dead.
and l don't want to say anything agin
| her, but she was always goin' to do and
never dom. You're a wilder woman,
and I'm sorter sorry for you, but you
must obey the law same as other folks.
The law says that jumpin cow
Never mind what the law says.
Deacon Albright" interrupted the wild
ow. You are maxim a great fuss over
few stalks Of corn, and if you'll tell
me what the damage is I'll pay 1T. |
never thought you was such man.
But you've got a jumpin' cow"
''Then let 'er jump. l stand ready to
pay all damages
But you are mighty sassy about .
give a right to be I've got no man,
! thank heaven, to boss me around. !"
cit would be better if you had Then
you'd know that any one who owned a
! jumpin' COW was obleeged''-
Deacon Albright, how much Go I
owe your exclaimed the woman
IF twas any one else I'd say $40,
but bein' it's you
i won pay III cents.
Then I'll sue you for damagesr'
you can sue till the chickens become
ducks. You could boss Mirandy around
and make her feel as humble as a cat,
but you can't boss me- Go ahead with
your old lawsuit"
The deacon said he would and turned
away. Before he had gone forty rods
he changed his mind, and there would
have been no legal trouble but for the
/ cow
Not satisfied with what she had
done, she took advantage of the oc,a-
sion to die. 1t was from overlooking
on the juicy stalks and young ears, and
a witness was found to come forward
and swear to certain whacks the dea-
con had bestowed unon her anatomy as
he drove her along the road.
Hes so powerful quick to talk about
lawsuits that I'll give him onev said
the widow when she heard that the
| jumping cow had passed away. And
within four hours she was in the vii
lage consulting lawyer.
! w ueu deacon Albright received no
tice that he had been sued he of course,
started a countersuit Then some one
told the widow that he was talking
about her, and she started Islander
| suit
| He heard that she was talking
about him, and he instituted anothe:
suit. Then the deacon's sister Clipped
in and had her say, and the widow be-
gan a third suit The deacon had once
J saved her barn after it had been struck
by lightning, and now he instituted a
claim for salvage.
| The law works slowly in country
town. A lawsuit is thing to be hung
on to as long as possible and made the
most Of The first two suits were tried
and appealed, and the two others were
called and adjourned several times, and
finally two years had passed away and
no one was better off and no point had
been settled.
One morning almost as soon as the
deacon was out Of bed he received no
tice that his spotted OK was lying dead