davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-20
4 String Of Good Stories.
WHAT HAPPENED TO JONES.
II Know not how the truth may BE-;
IfeN the tale 40 twas told to me.

ltXAIHATs the matter old mani said as they met
w the next morning after. 'You look blue
II feel blue
But last night you were the ollest member Of our
party
II felt jolly
'You acted just like boy just let out Of school,
II felt like one. =
'You said that your wife had gone away for the first
time three years. and there asn anyone say
if you went home and kicked the mantel clock
II remember it,
You said that if you stayed until O'Clock there
to look at you reproacfuly and sigh and make
you feel mean.''
Eyes, and stayed out until 'clock, didn't IY''
'You certainly did,
"And gave a warwhoop the front doorstep
eyes, and you sang from comic opera song,
and tried to dance Clog
eyes, and my wife missed that train Now please 90
away and let me alone Chicago Record Herald.
HOW UNCLE oMUsGRAvE SAVED THE DAY
tD I'd you ever'' said the sailor ''see the melodrama
y Of William Telq' J
Yes but I forget it, " the druggist answered.
"Well, the climax of the second act is where TELL with
his bow and shoots the apple off the head of his
Now want to tell you said the sailor, Chow Uncle
usgrave saved that second act climax from ruin.
"Uncle. 'Musgrave had left Booth in huff and had
gone on the road with the Tell meodrama at six week
and found He SUPER and in the his
duty to stand and watch Tell shoot the apple off the head
Of his boy H.. ....4
''The Tell Of the piece, Cad wasn't good enough
shot to split the apple in bonnyfed way, There trick
OF course The invisible wire from Tells
bow to the boys head Tell fired off, shot straight
along the wire to it's destination ..s..
But night, by Crinus, the stuck. The wire
went wrong somehow, and it stuck in mdarhung there
asH bewtched, half way between Tell and his son.
THAT terrible moment. Uncle O'Musgrave
looked at Tell. The poor fellow pale with fright
and kept amuttern Uncle looked at the audience They
was silent and mysed far but already the leadin
spirits beginnn to laugh and joke about the arrow
hangn the strange and queer looked at
Tell and the boy that he could hardly hold the
apple on his shaky head. ~ @:.''5 - ~. {
"Then Uncle: @ Musgrave stepped forward. He got
behind the He lifted up his and gave it
shove-on it vent and it split the apple per usual
There frantic bust of applause and the curtain
came down saved climax So pleased was the people
with Uncle O'Musgrave's ready that they actually
called him out before the cuan-an unheardof honor for
a SUPER" } Is - -......
as AN IMPOSSIBLE SERVANT .s@-s
a MA KATHERINE GREEN, the novelist discussed the
a servant question at recent dinner party in New
IAN impossible servant cook turned up at the house
Of friend of last week. AS soon as she entered the
house began to ask the most mpertinen questions
Z see you have daughter. What is her name 2, said
the cook. go
. Margaret, my friend answered g. j.. -<.
- 'MargaretY' said the cook Dear me- e1ess vo, NJ
have to call her something else while I'm here for nv
ztoo3
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-20

hard It's just like bein boy again. And he collapsed
into chair and upon very ingenious bent pin.
9 Mercifu Heavens!O he exclaimed, HWhat was that?
Can you find it, Harlow? he exclaimed making frantic
reaches for the instrument of torture which doing
its work upon his anatomy.
Hold still and can. It's awful funny, don know
when I've laughed So
There, shut up, will you: Yes, sir, I agree with you
They ought to be strapped, every of them
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-20
Old Boys and Young Ones.

ID you forgotten our little talk
about old times the other evening,
when you gave Fred that strap
ping, last night?" asked Robinson
Of Harlow. ~'
"Nope, why?"
"Oh, I thought maybe you'd
had lapse Of memory, as they say
you know there's lots more we
could have told that time.' II
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-20
HOW TO SCENT EGGS.

'1EGGsHELLs are porous said the grocer "Remem-
Der that John, and dom pack eggs along with cof
fee, the way saw you doing yesterday
'What difference does it make? the asked
''Ths difference said the grocer Anything aromatic
like coffee makes taste if is packed with them It
makes people think the eggs are bad -.
'Once got consignment of eggs packed in mahogany
sawdus Well those eggs tasted like furniture polish
lost some trade thru them.
Eggs often get contaminated from being kept too close
to strong cheese or to onions sauerkrau Always re-
member john that eggshells porous that they acouire
the flavor Of coffee onions cheese almost as readily as
butter does
THE DOG AND THE TELEPHONE
LEFT my dog accidentally at friend S house YES
erday, said young girl Ny friend tried to get
him to after but he would not leave. He plainly
held that would returnthat, had gone with
out him. would come back inevitably for him.
ssFnally my friend called up the telephone.
9 Your dog won't go, she said He thinks you will
be back, and car t drive him out
g Hold him up to the phone, said T.
ssShe held him up.
8 Peter, said, come home waiting at home for
you. Come straight home, Peter good little dog
Peter wagged his tail, wriggled down out Of my
friend and set off homeward like flash Of light
nlng. /
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30
We Paid 100000

For the American rights to Liquozone
and the rights in other countries have
sold for proportionate sums. We men
ton this fact to Indicate the value Of
Liquozone--the value to you. Men have
never before paid such price for any
discovery used in the cure Of sickness
We need not tell you that we proved
Liquozone we'll before buying it. Fo1
years it was tested through physicians
and hospitals in this country and 9th.
ers. It was employed in every stage
Of every germ disease; in all the most
difficult cases obtainable. With thou.
sands of sick ones, considered incura
BILE, we proved that it did what medi.
cine could not do. Then, and then only
did we pay the price.
Since then we have spent nearly
100000 to make Liquozone known
We have bought the first bottle and
given it free to every sick one we
learned Of. These people told hers
and the others told others. The III
is that Liquozone is now more "
employed than any medicine ever i
And no one can doubt that it is d.
more for sick humanity than all
drugs in use combined.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30
u Marg,ik Ryan (

When physician tells woman, suf-
fering from ovarian or womb trouble,
that an operation is necessary 1t, OF
course, frightens her. .....-ass T.
The very thought Of the operating
table and the knife strikes terror to
her heart. As one woman expressed
it, when told by her physician that she
must undergo an operation. she felt
that her death knell had sounded.
Our hospitals are full of women
who are there for ovarian or womb
operations!
1t is quite true that these troubles
may reach a stage where an operation
is the only resource, but such cases are
much rarer than is generally supposed,
because a great many women have
been cured by Lydia E.. Pinkhams
Vegetable Compound after the doctors
had said an operation must be per-
formed. In fact, up to the point where
the knife must be used to secure instant
relief, this medicine is certain to help.
The strongest and most grateful
statements possible to make come from
women who, by taking Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound, have
escaped serious operations.
Margrite Ryan, Treasurer of St.
Andrews Society, Indianapolis, Ind.
writes Of her cure as follows:
Dear Mrs. Pinkham:-
81 cannot find words to express my thanks
for the good Lydia E. Pinkhanns Vegetable
Compound did me- The doctor said could
not get well unless I had an operation fol-
ovarian and female troubles. I knew could
not stand the strain of an operation and made
up my mind I would be an invalid for life.
Ask Mrs. Plnkham's Adylce-A Won
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30
$4,000

Reward will be paid to any
person who can find one atom
of opium, choral, morphine,
cocaine, ether or chloroform
in any form in any of DR..
Miles Remedies.
This reward is offered because
certain Inscriptions persons
make false statements about
these remedies It is under
stood that this reward applies
only to goods purchased in the
open market, which have not
been tempered with in any way.
DR.. Miles remedies cure by
their soothing, nourishing,
strengthening and invigorat-
ing effects upon the nervous
system, and not by paralyzing
and weakening the nerves as
would be the case if these drugs
were used.
l'Ol tIilS lSdSOu LII. MlltS
Anti-Pain Pills are universally
considered the best pain remedy
IT have suffered for 25 years with
severe pains in my head, heart and
back. and have tried everything I
could get and could not find any relief
until [ got a. box Of DIR. Miles Anti
Pain Pills. I suffered as long as IL
hours at a time with such severe
pains that feared I would lose my
mind. The Anti-Pain Pills gave me
relief In from 10 to 20 minutes. I do
not have to use Morphine any more.
wish you would publish this so that
other sufferers may find relief"
l. A. WALKER,
r. F. D. No. 6. Salem, Ind
Or. Miles Antl-Pain Pills arc sold by
your druggist, who will guarantee that
the first package will benefit. II 1t
falls he will return your money.
49, doses, rs. cents. Never sold In bulk.
Miles Medical Co., Elkhart, Ind
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30

We Judge from our records that one
home in five, .thefcountry over, has some
one whom Liquozone. has cured. Some
have been cured Of little ills; some
know that their lives have been saved
by it. "a
These homes are scattered every
where. Your neighbors and friends live
in some Of them. IF. you will only ask
about Liquozonle, there are plenty t to
sick with>a germ disease while millions
know that Liquozone can cure it.
/ And any sick one, anywhere, may try
it at our expense. We will gladly buy
the first bottle--a soc bottle-and give
F it to any sick one free. You don It need
to rely on those who were cured by it:
You may test it, without a penny Of
Won't you-for your own sake do
one or the other7 Won't you let your
friends tell you how it cured them, and
how it constantly keeps them well
Or, won It you let US buy you bottle
and see what it does for you9
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30

Hearing how Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound had saved other women from
serious operations I decided to try it, and in
less than four months was entirely cured ;
and words fail to express my thankfulness."
Miss Margret Merkley of 275 Sd
Street, Milwaukee, Wis, writes:
Dear Mrs Pinkham:-
Loss of strength, extreme nervousness,
severe shooting pains through the pelvic
organs, cramps, bearing down pains, and an
irritable disposition compelled me to seek
medical advice. The doctor, after making
an examination said that had ovarian trou-
bic and liberation, and advised an operation
as my only hope To this strongly objected
and decided as last resort to try Lydia
E. PinkhamS Vegetable Compound. :.
the bad symptoms disappeared, and am ones
more strong, vigorous and well; and can
not express my thanks for what it has dons
for me-"
Ovarian and womb troubles are
steadily on the increase among women
and before submitting to an opera
ton every woman should try Lydia E..
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, and
write Mrs. Pinkham at Lynn, Mass.
for advice.
For thirty years Lydia E. Pinkham'S
Vegetable Compound has been curing
the worst forms Of female complaints,
all ovarian troubles, inflammation, ul.
ceration, falling and displacement Of
the womb, leucorrhea, Irregularities,
indigestion and nervous prostration
Any woman. who could read the many
grateful letters on file in Mrs. Pink.
hams Office would be con inced of the
efficiency of her advice and Lydia ID,
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
IN Rest UInderefando q Nnu,ouvo r1ls.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30
What Liquozone Is.

- 2 Il : : =
Liquozone is product which in the
past two years has sprung into world
wide use in the treatment Of germ dis
eases. It is now used by the sick Of
nine min natlons 6y hysclans ana h0sp
in millions Of homes in America.
The virtues Of Liquozone are derived
solely from gas, made in large part
from the best oxygen producers. No
drugs, no alcohol nothing but this gas
takes il days, and requires immense
apparatus. At the end Of two weeks
we get one cubic inch Of Liquozone for
each = $50 cubic. inehes Of gas used
more than 20 years been the constant
subject Of scientific sand chemical re-
search.
The main result lis, to get into a
liquid, and thus into the blood, a power
full yet harmless germicide. And the
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30
Soc Bottle Free.

If you need Liquozone, and have
never used it, pleace send us the coupon
below. We will then send you an order
on local druggist for full-sized bot
tle--a SOC bottle-and will pay the
druggist ourselves for it. This applies
only to-, the first bottle, of -course--to
those who have never used it.
The acceptance Of this offer places
you under no obligations We simply
wish to convince you; to let the prod
uct itself show you what it can do.
Then you can judge by results as to
whether you wish to continue.
This offer itself should convince you
that Liquozone does as we claim We
would certainly not buy a bottle and
give it to you if there was any doubt
of results. You want these results;
you want to be well and to keep well.
Then be fair enough to yourself to ac-
cept our offer today. Let us show you,
at our expense, what this wonderful
product means to you.
Liquozone costs soc and 81.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30
How L,iquozone Cures

The greatest value Of Liquozone lies
in the fact that it kills germs in the
body without killing the tissues, too.
And no man knows another way to do
it. Any drug that kills germs is a poi
For that reason medicine is almost help
less in any germ disease.
Liquozone is a germicide so certain
that we publish on every bottle an offer
of 81 900 for disease germ, that it
less but Of wonderful beneft-better
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30
Germ, Diseases.

These are the known germ diseases,
all due to germs or to, the poisons which
germs create. These are the diseases to
which medicine does not apply, for
drugs cannot kill zlnside germs.
All that medicine can do for these
troubles is to act as tonic, aiding
Nature to overcome the germs. But
those results are indirect and uncertain,
depending on the patients condition.
A cure is always doubtful when drugs
are used, and some of these diseases
medicine never cures.
Liquozone alone can destroy the
cause of these troubles. 1t goes wher-
ever the blood goes, so that no germ
can escape it. The results are almost
inevitable. Diseases which have re-
sisted medicine for years yield at once
Co Liquozone. Incurable'' diseases
are cured by it. In any stage of any
disease in this list the results are SO
certain that we will gladly send to any
patient who asks it an sabsolute guar
antee.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30
ID One Home In Five
Has Someone Cured by Lquozone. Won't You Try -Free?

than anything else in the world for you.
No one is so well that he cannot be
helped by it. H..
The reason is that germs are vegeta-
bles; and Liquozone-like an excess Of
oxygen-is deadly to vegetal matter.
To the human body Liquozone is ex-
hilarating, vitalizing, purifying-the
most needful, the most helpful thing
possible. But to germs it is certain de-
struction; and these facts are true of
nothing else in existence.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30
The Free High School Privilege.

Two years ago the legislature provided that all
graduates of the eighth grade in any school might
attend high school within the state and the tut
ton should be paid by the home district. In eff
feet it was intended to provide free high school
privileges to all of the children of the state.
1t has, as rule, worked admirably, and has
been wonderful source Of inspiration to the
country children, but it has been abused in some
instances. Families residing in districts where
high schools are maintained have seen At to send
their Youngsters to other high schools, and the
home districts have been compelled to put up for
it,. Again, there is limit upon the amount
of tuition which high school may charge and
some boards of education have realized that
they had the country upon the hip and have put
on all the traffic would bear These abuses
have led to bill BY Frieberg repeating the free
high school privilege and another by Hebal
amending the law to preclude residents Of high
| school district from sending their pupils to an
other high school at public expense. It is prob.
| able that the bill will amended as to cut
of the abuses. -
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30

La-meaning "the''-La Marlew-
The Marlew, the only best cigar at for
25 cents and upwards. Sold all around
the town of Minneapolis. All good
stores will tell you they are fine, fine,
even superfine. Round as when made,
by being patent packed. All! so differ
made Try them-you II see.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30

Goitre-Gout variocooeIe
Gonorrhea-Gleet Women's Diseases
All diseases that begin with fevers--all. tntan-
mation--a1l CATARRHAL contagious diseases-au
the results of impure poisoned blood
In nervous debility Liquozone acts VI
talizer, accomplishing what no drugs can do.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30
NO. DAKOTA'S 7
PURE FOOD FIGHT
STATE MEDICAL SOCIETY IN
DoRsEs COMMISSIONER LADD.

The Society Also Opposes the Stevens
Measure Now Presented-The Pol.
lock-Mitchell Case Still Causing
Great Deal of Comment-The Bill to
Increase the Salaries of the Judges
and Why It Was Defeated.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30
The Judge Pollock Incident.

There was general approval among the business
men Of Fargo Of the editorial in The Minneapolis
Journal on the action Of Judge Pollock of this
city in imposing fine of 500 on City Treasurer
Mitchell of this city on contempt charge The
|city treasurer had commented on some contempt
cases which had been taken up in Judge Pol
locks court. The latter deemed the communica-
ton contempt instead of libel and thru his Of
fetal position fined the writer.
City Treasurer Mitchell is an old soldier and a
man of no means aside from his salary and pen
sion money. The imposition Of the fine was re-
garded as more severe on that account
The friends of Judge Pollock were surprised
that he did not ignore the article. 81
Later actions have also brought some critf-
cism on Judge Pollock. When the bill to In
crease the salary Of the judges was before the
legislature it asserted that certain Judge
lobbied personally for the passage Of the bill,
and that Judge Pollock also wrote letters favor
ing the measure, which was defeated largely
thru the efforts Of the judges to secure its pas
sage.
The present salary of the Judges is $780, and
1t is claimed that many of them never earned
half that amount clear of expenses while they
were practicing attorneys
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30
A WlNoNA PASTOR RESIGNS.
Special to The Journal.

Special to The Journal.
|. Winona, Mimi, Jan. 30.-Rev. E. S. Van
Ness has resigned the passionate of the
First Baptist church, after six years ser
Vice. The congregation will probably re-
fuse to accept the resignation.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30

product is SO helpful-so good for you
under any condition-that even well
person feels it's instant benefit
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30
Tri-State Telephone Co.

The Tri-State Telephone company, which has
been in considerable trouble here over the right
Of way thru the city and the repeated refusals
Of the counci to grant permission is said to have
made an arrangement with the Western Union
by which telephone wires have been strung thru
the city on the Western Union poles {. III
The officials will investigate franchise
granted the Western Union thru the city and
may be able to: prevent the use of its poles
by the telephone company =sss5 ~ S5
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30

LAKE PRESTON, s. D.-The annual meeting
of the stockholders of the Lake Preston Cream
cry was held. During the year the creamery
receipts were s19 $50 IT, The company is in a
healthy condition and doin: nice business.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30

CAKES, N. D.-Fire Saturday completely de-
stroyed the feed store Of N. B. Walker. Loss.
81, 900; insurance, $1,000. The building of Miss
Ranka Johnson was also demolished; loss, 81 900;
Insurance. $3.50. =.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30

GRAFTON, N. D.-News was received satur-
day Of the sudden death of G. r. Gu1lickson
of this city in Minneapolis. He was 80 years of
age had resided in Grafton for twenty -four of
those years and had served Walsh county four
years as register OF deeds and the city Of Graf
representative. ..-
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30
The mccarthy Will.

The long fight over the McCarty will has been
adjusted. Mrs. McCarty left certain lots to the
Catholic cathedral, but the Incorporated name Of
the Institution was improperly mentioned in the
will. The heirs contested and the matter was
bitterly fought in the county court, where the
church officials won. An appeal was being pre-
pared by the heirs and notice has been filed by
the attorneys for the church that no further at
tempt will be made to have the provisions of the
riodo r1fs- +.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30
: AN INDIAN EXPERT
E.. r. Steinbrueck of Mandan Honored
nv North dakota

MANDAN, N, De. r. ste1nbrueck this
city has received the appointment of custodian
Of the specimens belonging to the State His
torical society, which recently procured quar-
tiers in the: new wtngfof the state capitol. Mr.
Steinbrueck is well 5Eersed in Indian matters
and traditions: He has donated over sever
thousand specimens to the Minnesota organiza
ton and 1850 to the North Dakota exhibit
He will prepare maps showing the location anG
topography Of the different Indian villages
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30

DEADwooD, s. D.-The city council of Dead
wood has opened all the bids for the big ditch
work from Elk Creek Ito this city, twelve
miles in length. There were seven bidders.
the lowest being $4,000, made by Hanly q
Richie Of lola, Kan. j
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30

MITCHELL, 8. Done hundred have been
converted in the revival ,.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30

Z MITCHELL, S. D.-The Wesleyan university
enrolment Is $40. =
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1905-01-30

Special to The Journal. .5
Fargo, N. D., Jan. 3o.-The Endorsement by
the state medical society of the work Of Pure
Food Commissioner Ladd, in enforcing the law
against doctored goods was most emphatic. The
society also adopted resolution strongly ap-
posing the bills that plan change in the law in
this state, especially the one introduced by
Representative Stevens Of Bismarck, which is re-
garded as multiplying the work so far done. The
Stevens measure is opposed by the stae grocers
and will have bitter opposition from other
sources. The medical society asks the reap
pointment OF State Health Officer Healy, who
has been unusually active in his department.