The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1905-03-10
His Smart Trick,

Il suppose there comes to every man
a desire to do something smart on an
OCCASION" said the drummer as a sigh
took the place of his smile.
"Well, such desire came to me as
was leaving certain southern city aft
er weeks stay. The waiter at my ia,
BILE had called me 'gineraP and been at
great pains to care for me, and l made
up my mind to reward him with five
dollar bill. 1t was a counterfeit with
which had been stuck, but l thought
it would be the biggest kind of a joke
to work it off on Bob
II had got hundred miles away
passing counterfeit money, and when
taken back | was arraigned in a United
States court and had to give bail and
appear on three different occasions.
had lawyer and other expenses, lost a
good three weeks altogether and just
escaped prison by the skin Of my teeth.
In addition to this had to make good
to the waiter, who sorrowfully shook
his head when he received the money
and said:
CTS sorry for you, eineral, but dis
may be de means of s3vin' your con-
temptible soul from the gallus! AT
lanta Constitution.
The Tailor's Argument.
In "Thrums" lived a merchant tailor
who ordered from a friend, book
agent, a complete set of an encyclo-
pedia which was being published in
monthly parts. All went well till the
delivery of the last volume, which
proved to be about one-half larger
than any of the others. Delivery was
refused on the ground that the vol
ume was not according to sample and
broke the uniformity of the set. Mr..
Comrie Thompson was then acting
sheriff substitute for Forfarshire, and
the resulting case came before him.
The plaintiff stated his case, and Mr..
Thompson then advised the defendant
to take delivery, adding:
"Now, Mr.. -, don't be foolish. II
the book is larger, they don't propose
to charge you anything extra, and you
ought to consider you are having
bargain"
"Well," pleaded the defendant, I'm
a tailor, and if your lordship were to
order q coat from me. and | quoted
price and afterward delivered the coat
a half size bigger than you wanted it,
you would. l have no doubt, refuse de-
livery. And might then say: Don't
be foolish, sheriff. The coat, it's true,
is much larger than you want, but the
cloth is the same, and l won't make
any extra charge. You ought to con.
slider you are having a bargain"
This rather tickled the court which
expressed its appreciation of the point
somewhat noisily. Verdict for the
plaintiff. with costs.-London Tit Bits
What BOY Can De-.
This is what a boy can do, because
boys have done it:
He can write great poem. Alexan-
der Pope wrote his famous lode to Sol
itude" when he was only twelve years
old.
He can write great book. Macaulay
wrote his first volume, the "Primitiae,"
which took the literary world by storm,
before he was in his teens.
He can write successful play. John
O'Keefe, the famous Irish actor and
playwright, wrote play that is con-
sidered good today when he was only
fifteen.
He can become famous. Charles Dick
ems did his Sketches by Boz" so well
that before he was twenty-five his
name was known to all the world.
He can make his mark" so well that
it will open his career. Palmerston,
England's great statesman, was admir-
ed in school for his brilliant work and
wrote letters home in English, French
and Italian that are models Of compost
ton today.
He can enter a great university be-
fore he is thirteen. William Pitt did 1t.
London Telegraph.