The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1905-06-24
nrcl,NEp WITH THANKS.

receipt OF coro'al oe. =
....from the Colum bian Club and
.Ee chamber of Commerce of Boise,
:, oct in the distinguished capacity
of member of the Reception Com
,;.,ee to receive at thenatatorium
~. members and ladies of the Con-
nrsssional Party, and, at the same
time to express profound regret at
ourinability to grant the request.
We can't do it. We haven't any
roiment for such functions. Fact
;s we haven't any raiment at all
worth mentioning.
The ladies of the Congressional
PARTY would throw nine fits in seven
vocabularies il we should appear be-
FIRE them all dressed up in our
hest, Clothes aside, we are. not a
social attraction of the first magui-
mde We don't seem to fit any
Mace, We are always in the way
or completely lost. Once we were
beguiled or smuggled into a recep-
ton and things began to happen
right soon. We saw daPper gent
in claw hammer coat do a fine stunt
in bowling to a bevy. We tried it
and brought down the house be-
sides tracturing the moorlngs of
two suspender safety pins lehind.
The rest OF the time we had all we
could do to keep our pants from de-
Ginning.
There was a lady there with a
cherub about seven weeks gone.
We wanted to be attentive to the
lady and when we noticed a hand
kerchief on the floor near by we
hurried over and rescued it. When
we offered it to her she got red and
mad and told us to mind our own
business. 1t was a large, moist
handkerchief into which the lady
might have been weeping copiously.
We had ice cream and things at
little table, and opposite were a
couple OF ladies whose necks stuck
out through their collars about a
yard and you could see down among
their shoulder blades ard count the
Vertebrae. One of them had nine.
We were absorbed in anatomical
calculations when we made a miss
cue and knocked a plate of ice
cream into our partners lap. Want
Ing to be real polite, we pulled out
our handkerchief and. vigorously
proceed to mop up the debris.
People began to snicker. We
mopped away furiously until we
noticed that our handkerchief had
attained alarming proportions
Anen we get excited. It was the
handkerchief that belonged to the
lady with the cherub. The discov-
cry aazed us and we dropped the
handkerchief. The popular mirth
increased.
we tried to stammer an explana.
00n and an apology. Then il
seemed that we ought to put that
handkerchief out of sight, so we
showed it deep into a side pants
pocket and started to leave. The
'aOie cloth with all the dishes start.
gu gu also' We gasped and bolted
1Nefe was a clatter and bang, and
Tue alr was full of screams and loud
vulgar leVity. You see, in our ner.
'o1Sness' we had jammed corner
" w 1ne table cloth into our pocket
we don't appear much in society
"Hy more. Indeed, those who know
10 Intimately don't care to put Ii.
VI Inc program. But we appre
slS'e fully the distinguished consid
';ion VI shown US by the Columbian
N'u0 and the Chamber of Com
usrce' We like to feel that wher,
" We are not known we are regarded
- people of Importance. When i
- known here in Caldwell that tn,
s.sunctl0n sas of being requested tc
1--WE on a Reception Committee, t.
n 9''e tue ladies' and members of
us'esslonal Party, mas been vol
n'af'ly conferred upon us, by til,
uoSt social and commercial or