The Bowbells tribune. [volume] (Bowbells, Ward Co., N.D.) 1899-1969, 1905-08-25

A Missouri state senator who talks
in his sleep has, for political reasons,
sworn his wife to secrecy.
Henry Watterson comedies the next
presidential election to the Republicans,
probably basing his conclusions on pain
full precedent.
The town of Fairbanks, Alaska,
maintains about the same temperature
attributed to our worthy vice-president,
after whom it was named.
The new Methodist marriage service
omits the word ''obey" in consequence
of which there will be few bride lips
tainted with lie at the altar.
The Kansas City Star has discovered
a doctor who is such surgery enthus-
asst that he operates upon books in his
library the appendix out of them.
Ohio Democrats have nominated a
candidate for governor, not necessarily
for election, but as an evidence that
there are a few Ohio Democrats yet on
earth.
49, ~
An Italian hand organ man of New
York has quit the daily grind of metro
politan life and will return to his
native land withsS7, 900 acquired by his
cranky methods.
The mikado is six inches taller than
the car and in addition to his own per-
sonal stock inherited bunch of rare
virtues that Nicholas wouldn't know
what to do with if he possessed them.
~
A St. Paul man found $1OO diamond
in a ten. cent can of dried beef. This
is refreshing change from the stereo-
typed discovery of gold nugget in the
sand-and-gravel lots Of a cold storage
chicken.
President Roosevelt says he will not
attempt to name his successor. He
may think it would be difficult to de-
ternine what saplings Of the present
may develop into good presidential tim
ber before 1912.
A Fargo man while crossing the street
to borrow a neighbor's newspaper
slipped on banana peel and sustained
painful bruises in the locality Of where
men who borrow newspapers generally
carry their brain supply.
,a,.- ~ *
The Washington Post says: "Russia
is naturally incensed at the lavish en-
tertainment of Secretary Taft in Japan,
as she feels that she will have to foot
the bills without the pleasure of par
ticipating in the festivities
The old maids of Wellington, O., have
organized a baseball club, and to avoid
unpleasant remarks about starved
calves, withered limbs of once robust
trees, etc., etc., they wear loose bloom
ers that tie around the shoetops.
The government expert who was sent
over to test Irish and Scotch whiskies
reports that both kinds are excellent
and free from germs of snakes, white
calves, mammoth frogs, etc, with
which our American liquor is SO heavily
impregnated. 49,.
~ So 1,,. - a.,.,
Society item from a Missouri slope
paper: "Miss Violet Buttinsky is here
on visit to Miss Carrie Mouynahan.
Miss Violet is a medium height young
lady with brown hair and eyes, rosy
cheeks, false teeth, No. feet and a
gait that swings either way. She is
we'll educated and willing to be engaged.
For further information call at this
office. .'
#s$ -.
Abiding to recent article by Sir
Oliver Lodge, in which the writer gives
it as his opinion that ''the more brains
one has, the less teeth one has unless
they are artiflcially provided, "a writer
in the Westminster Gazette is stimu-
lated to break out into verse as follows:
II Belinda Gear, once on a time,
My best beloved Of pretty girls.
It was my wont to turn rhyme
And say your mouth was full Of pearls.
Sin blissful ignorance Of ,yore +;
/ thought my ompliment but truthful;.
But knowledge grows from more to
NOR :Ssi, b ga }t>3fi 3 5
Only the 3brainless now are toothful.
Il. n. SO take q cab, Belinda dear, q, # m
HE where the dentistry is painless,
81 Have out the pearls which nov, 4 fear, q
"a ,1noI.alW fn1Y.nYe vnI1 hra IN less ~