Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1905-01-27
DRIFTWOOD

] w utEcNcE my ECHt 10 poio
(Pieces washed up by the tide. doomed. sawed,
| split and piled for the perusal and pastime of
paid-up subscribers, also for those who beg, bOr-
| row and steal the STANDARD in order that they
may enjoy q little sunshine as they journey
| through this vale OF tears.)
Many a young man who gets his
start in the parlor, lands in the garret
after marriage.
Oregon is to US the whipping post for
wife-beaters. One or two in Olympia
should take warning.
The fact that George Washington
bad no weather bureau during his ad.
ministration evidenced that he had a
sincere regard for the truth.
The sc" box is the largest in q
printers case, and the woodbox is the
biggest thing in the world to the
small boy who is in q hurry to get out
to play.
Leading political economists and
financiers say that the spirit of CON-
bination and concentration in finances
and in industry is firmly rooted and is
secretly extending.
Talk about circus performers. An
Olympia woman with five children can
rock the baby with her foot, dress the
other children, sing them a song, and
read them novel all at the same
time.
When scme women visit store to
buy new dress, in order to test
the cloth to see whether or not it will
hold its color, asks the clerk to cut off
little piece, and she puts it in
her mouth and proceeds to "chew the
rag"
The war between Russia and Japan
will result in one good thing. We
will hear lsss in tho future OF tho
fierce Cossacks. The Cossacks seem
to be pretty fair cattle thieves, but
they are helpless in the presence OF
fighting men.
Some OF the most sensible, we'll bal
aneed men that we have ever met in
life we're as poor as the proverbisl
church-mouse. Money-making is Q
peculiar talent; gift. However there
is compensation; the poorest people
as rule are the hsppiest. That eyens
up matters to some extent.
The miracles, said to be performed
by Jesus, who healed the sick and
caused cripples to throw away their
crutches, reminds US of some men who,
when they get . good stiff verdict from
. railroad, throw away their crutches.
Railroad verdicts are performing mira.
cles Of this kind very frequently in the
United States.
The appalling announcement is
made that $40. .OO0, 600 is paid out an.
nually for pianos, and yet seventy.five
per cent. Of the buyers never learn
how 70 play tha instrument decently.
But what makes this announcement
still more bewildering is to think that
perhaps $4,000, 900 of the total sum
is spent in rsg.ime.
We are tired OF seeing notices about
people accepting" positions. Men
are not offered positions in one case in
a hundred When there is . vacancy
there is usually mad rush to get the
job. When employers have an open.
ing they conceal the fact in order to
avoid being annoyed by applicants.
For every person who "accepts" .
position, dozens who tried to "accep pt"
it were rejected.
The picture of Gov. A. E. Mead, ap-
pearing on front page Of P..I. Issue of
Sunday, January 18th, shows that in
the few days he has been in the Gov.
ernor's chair he has gained flesh at a
surprisingly rapid rate. Wonder if
the P.-L. did not palm off some other
fellows picture instead OF Mead's. II
not, will the Governor please inform
his many friends what brand of " How
to Make Lean People Fat" he uses.
IL wish you would preach for me
tonight" said preacher to a clerical
friend whom he met on Fourth street.
al can't tonight" was tho reply,
Pm almost down sick with the
headache" "Well," observed the other,
II guess you can do it, for if you
preach as you usually do you won't
have to use your head any,"
Then they both laughed and punched
each other in the ribs, and eaid it was
q good one, just like the worst kind of
old sinners.
Eleven years ago a noted singer
spent the day in Olympia with rela-
tives. In the satisfaction OF q we'll.
cooked dinner, he remarked that the
oldest daughter, Mary Jane, had a
voice worth training. This remark
has cost the father every vacation ever
since; it has put . mortgage on the
house; has made the mother do all the
house.work without help, and has re-
suited in the worn-out, debt-burdened
family. Mary Jane. whose voice was
cultivated at such a sacrifice. married
recently, and complains because her
father and mother don't do more for
her.
Seattle landlords are getting very
particular about their tenants, as we'll
! as their rents, particularly in connec-