West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1905-01-19
MORE TROUBLE COMING.
"Col." Jim StOnebraker Has Heard or
the Whisker Pulling ana Is About
60 Declare War.

Special correspondence Of The Argus.
was settin in ms humble home aud was
mcditatin as to how I would help Comrade
Shaw. My Big WALLER cat was watchin me
as though he OWNED what I was meditatin
on was thinkln about maxim Leader
Shaw present Present Of him to Put in
Whcisells back yard TO meow and raise
all sorts OF a Racket Holy Smokes" but
he is dandy II you Twist his tail little.
My conclushuns were such that l ort TO
help Comradc Shaw In this great struggle.
felt wrothY az Whetsell and the linn
Committed for dublng on the old Hero Of
macy Battles.
While was meditatin. there came rap
at my door. Come la, says l." and who
stood before me but Comrado Shaw. Why.
Bless your Old Soul was just think.n
about maxim you a Present OF my big yafler
cat 10 down Whetsell and the Jim Com
mttoe with. I noticed the old Hero looked
depressed and kind o Top sided. seen
his Eowin whiskers were hangin kind o
side ways. Says l. "Comrade. what's the
matter p Says he, II was waylaid by the
lin Committee and had my whiskers pulled
and have come to you for help" jumped
TO my feet and cracked my fists and swore
by the great Injun Chief. "Rain-In-The-
Face" that II Comrade Shaw's whiskers
was pulled any more. would spill every
drop OF blood that run through the veins Of
| my relations but what IL should be avenged
but Comrade Shaw says, "be calm now.
Colonel. rs he drew quart bottle from
his pocket of real old ~. &. Pine Top. and
says he, Il just borrowed this from Ben
Brown. II was some he had left over from
Christmas. and he did not like to keep il
about the store. for George A. kept nib
bling at IT, and he was afraid George would
get TO drinking" took a Big slug, as did
Comrade Shaw. So we sot down and be-
gun to discuss the modes OF Procedure
against Whetsell and the Jim Committee
Comrade Shaw proposed a duel and he
wanted me to select the weapons. II am
opposed to dueling" says | to my Comrade
but II il comes to that. ] should suggest you
take squirt guns and hot water Hot
water :" says Comrade Shaw. YES, says
l. and a little soap. and you can make the
fur fly, and the survivors will look Better
| after it is over. Comrade Shaw hesitated
minute. and says he, Col Jim. you and /
are the Heroes OF many battles, aud we
have dug ginseng a many a day togather.
and have Bearded the Lion in his den.
but, by gosh! II that Jim Committee pulls
my whiskers again, shall have you call the
l"Nation' togather to do Battle. and we II
wipe them from the iace OF the earth"
Says l." Comrade. let's have another
snifter OF your Pine Top. 1t might hep me
/ % "a
TO war, we must have weapons to fight
with. II we had couple OF them maple
cannons that them injuns fred that scared
us so when we was down on the Pitomac.
we could spike them up on Beverly Hill
and take two OF three good marksmen from
! Co. g, such as Lieut. Brown and CorpI
| Ben Bowermaster. for Corp'l Ben is a good
shot, especially at a hog, for / have seen
him tried, we could scare that lin Com
mittee out OF their Brooches withou, shed
ding any Blood, and you and then would
| divide the Pie and wear Diamonds
am sorry Comrade Shaw. that we
hay'nt Gen. Sam b. Lee here TO take part
in this great struggle. Gollyl but he would
be smaSher in Plannin this Campaiu
against the "Jims" l tell you, when he
WOulu open thdt mouth oil his II would
make the "Jims" tremble There is one
thing, says |, Comrade Shaw. them "Iims''
are sly devils, and we must use diplomacy.
for seed a war like this once before when
Gen. Mccormick was Brigade Commander,
and by gosh it was a bloody one TOO. and
there wasn't any Pie in it for the Poor Cen
eral. I'll tell you, Comrade Shaw, we may
take the Bull by the Horns but Some Body
else might twist his tail. Whetsell and that
Jim Committee is good at that BY this
time Comrade Shaw had Gained down and
suggested another snifter Of Pine Top.
which we took. I was getting pretty elo-
quent by this time and we formed concIu.
shuns that we would have another meetin
before we got the maple cannon. Comrade
Shaw appointed me committee, mot the
Jim Commttee) to see Jas. A. Brown and
get some legal Pints and see II there WASH I
some way to bring action agin Inn Flynn
and have Squire Murdock to send him to
the Reform School until he'll be good. So
we adjourned to meet soon, and II there is
any more Whisker Pulling we will meet
sooner Col. ]. $.