Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1905-07-22

hnicker-Why do you call your auto
"TaxesT' Bocker--Because folks dodge
it so.-New York Sun.
BuSiness.-"How much have you
got BillyT "Fourpence." 1--WE got
twopence. Let's put it together and
go halves"-Punch.
They say there's no chance for the
rich in the next world" That's prob
ably the reason they're getting most
everything here"'-Detroit Free Press.
Mr. Goodley-Her age really sur.
priSed me She doesn't look %. does
shcf Mrs. Snappe-Not now; but
suppose she did at one tlme-Philadel.
ph!a Ledger.
Nell-Somcbody told me to-day that
was handsome. Bell-When was
that? Nell-To-day, Belle-No:
mean when were you handsome
adcIphia Ledger
An unknown commodity: Rachel
Noder! Cohen-Yah. Rachel vont
some spending money Cohen-Spend-
ing money? Vat kind OF money is
dotF--rown Topics.
Teacher What great difficulty was
DemoSthenes compelled to surmount
before he became an orator? Sonmore
He had to learn how to talk Greek.
Philadelphia Press.
She-When should young widow
discard her weeds? He-Oh | don't
know, but | suppose she should cut
them just as soon as she wants TO
raise second crop Of orange bios.
soms.-Baltimore Herald.
Mother-Oh, you bad boy! Dirty
hands again! I'm afraid you're a
hopeless case. Tommy (eagcrlyl-Oh,
ma! does hopeless mean you're go.
Ing to give mp talkn' about lt?-Phn.
adelphla Press
An absent minded butcher was ask.
cd by ii young mother to weigh her
baby. He put the little one on the
scales, and. CHANGING at the dial. re-
marked; Just nine pounds, bones and
AL Shall I remove the bonesg'-Ex.
An oklahoma man has discovered
that there were department stores I'm
ancient Hebrew days. He quotes the
fourteenth verse In the fourteenth
chapter of Job; "All my appointed
time will wait ill my change come"
FX
"Oh. doctor" exclaimed rheumatic
patient u suffer dreadfully with my
hands and feet" But, my dear sir"
rcioincd the physician, Just try TO
| think how much Inconvenience YOU
would suffer without them. London
| Tit-Bits
Il understand" began the large.
scrappy-looking ward politician, dat
youse had piece IN your paper callln'
| me thief" lyon have been mlsln.
formed, SIR" said the editor, calmly;
this paper publishes only news
Cleveland Leader
What's the mattcrY asked the Oh
timist; u thought your uncle had left
YOU Si00O00T' lie did," replied the
pessimist but confound IT, he pro-
vdes IN his viii that I've got to use
$50 of II to buy him tombstone. -
Chicago Record Herald.
"Why do so many actors insist on
playing Shakespeare" II suspect"
answered Mr.. Stormlngton Barnes.
that it's because they can take all the
credit II they succeed, and bnmc the
public's lack OF literary taste If they
Washington Star.
She-l'm glad we went 1t was an
excellent perforlnance--and for such
charitable purpose Her Husband
Yes, indeed! We all feel a thrill Of
satisfaction when we do something
for charity and get the worth Of our
money at the same time London Tit
Bits.
Patient Great Scott, Doctor. that's
M awful bill for one weeks treatment!
Physic AMY dear fellow, II you
kEew what an interesting case yours
was. aud how strongly was tempted
- let it &C. 70 a post norton, you
wouldn't grumblc ut a bill three times
MS big ms Chicago Tribune.
"If yoh husban' beats you, mebbe
Won Kin hab him sent tn de whippin-
Dos" said Mrs Potomac Jackson. III
my husban ever beats me-" said Mrs.
Tolllver Grapevine, "dcy kin send him
10 de whippiu' pos if dey wants to.
But deyl have to wait till ne gifts
o1t'n de hospital" Washington Star.
A Southern planter was asking one
of his roloreI servants about her we'd