Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1905-06-24

N~-0o-o~~~N~-N~~.o~~
he-I hope you don't make fool of
| your husband?
She-No; | don't have to.-Yonkers
Statesman.
Appropriate-A Southern cornetist
! named Burst, has three children Alice
May Burst James Wood Burst, and
Henry win Burst.
SO NauraL-Mrs Cassidy-'Twas
very natural he looked. Mrs Casey
Aye, shure he looked fur all the wurld
Joke lowe man layin' there dead
! Breaking the News. -Mistress-If
/ you want eggs to keep you must lay
them ia q cool place Brldget-OfH
lhlntioa il to the hens at wanst, num-
I His Experience
REGARDING woman" said Henpeck,
| ia this said conclusion I've come:
| When man puts ring on her finger
| lie puts himself under her thumb"
Awfnl.-Unce Hlram-They say
mat the sun never sets on the British
Empire Aunt Hannah Doesn't It
now? And we have such lovely sun
sets over here!
! Very lAkely.--"Have you any taste
for Thackeray?" asked Mrs. Oldcastle.
No, | can't say that l have" replied
her hostess; is that any thlng like this
paprlta they're putin In everything
now? :"
Correct.-"Pa," said little Reginald.
what is n bucket shop?" "A bucket
shop. my son." said the father, feel
ingly, us n modern cooperage estab-
lishment TO which man takes bar
rel and brings back the bung hole"
lnSinuation. Patron Din restaurant
What are you bothering me forY
Head Usher-The gentleman at the
next table wanted me to ask IL you
wouldn't please face the other way
He says he was nearly eaten by an a.
ligator once ana can't bear to see you
eat"
The Reallst. Alexis came home one
night with his clothes full OF holes.
w hat has happened to you?" exclaim-
ed his mother "Ob, we've been play
ing shop ever since school closed"
Alexis replied. "Shopy" echoed his
mother Yes. We opened grocery,
and everybody was something" Alexis
explained Il was the cheese"
Could DO Without It--"You remem-
Der that | gave an order for pound
of liver while agof' YES" was the
reply. Well, find that do not need
il. and you need not send IT," Before
she could put down the telephone re-
celyer she heard the marketman say
TO some one IN the store take out
Mrs. Blanks liver. She says she can
set along without IT,"
Reeommendable.-- husband is
so poetic" said one lady to Their I'm
car the other days Poor dearr in
terrupted good-natured looking wem-
an with market basket ut her feet,
who was seated NJ the lady's elbow
and overheard the remark Have you
ever tried rubin his j'ints with hart
shorn linlment, mum? That'll straight,
on him out as quick MS anything
know of"
The Secret Of Harmony. Young
Mrs. Mead had just engaged two ser
wants, man and his wife. II am so
glad you are married. she said TO the
man. Il hope you are very happy, and
that you and your wife never have any
difference OF opinion" Faith, ma'nm.
couldn't say that" replied the new
servant, FOR we have n good many;
but OF don't let Bridget know Of thin.
an SO we do be getting along we'll"
Generals Saved Him.-When Gen
eral Robert r. Lee was fighting Grant
in tile last days" an old darby be-
sieged headquarters with requests to
see the gin'ral" "Well, where do
you belongf" demanded General Lee.
Il b'longs to y'r company, gin'raL" re-
turned the darky. no, you don't"
declared the General Sharply Every
body in my company has been shot
How is II that you haven't been r. The
| darby scratched his head Then from
his twisted mouth came Il confidential
whisper; We'll, go see, gInral, It's
this away | amt been shot case
when deys a fight gon' on l always
stays with the ginrals."
Took IL for Granted.