davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18
JAYHAWKER JOTs.


Scott Steere of Asherville is a breeder
Of Poland China hogs
Mr. Finnegan has embarked in the
contracting business in Salina, but he
isn't the on-again, Off-again gentleman.
Page advertisements of the new in
dependent refineries in the Kansas oil
fields have now reached the Omaha and
Chicago newspapers.
Mean slam by Bill White: There will
be no gossip in Emporia during the
rest of the week. The state federation
of w0mens clubs is meeting in To-
peka.
Mayor Bloom of Concordia, is another
who is fooling the jointists. They all
voted for him on the supposition that
he would let them violate the law, but
they have another guess coming.
When Jim Orr saw a funnel-shaped
cloud headed for Atchison the other ev-
ening, he made a hot trail to a neigh
boris cyclone cellar. This is the only
instance on record thus far where the
mayor of Atchison has hid out.
Vic NIurdocks wisdom in selecting as
his secretary an Irishman who has an
intimate acquaintance with the famous
stone of Barney castle, has been am
ply demonstrated. Congressman Muir
dock was scheduled to make a COM
mencement address at FL Dorado the
other highland FL Dorado. you know,
is in the new Eighth district-but un-
fortunately he is laid up with rheuma-
tism in California. It devolved upon
his secretary, Dave Leahy, to explain
his absence and make the FL Dorado
people feel good about it. Here is what
Dave wrote. Victor regrets his ina
bility to be with you very much, for
it is one of his delights to speak to
school people. He was especially anX-
iOus to speak in FL Dorado on account
of the many ties of friendship and
fondness that bind him to the people of
your community. He has often spoken
to me of Ell Dorado as an ideal town
wherein are blended those human quail
tiles which exemplify the virtues and
ambitions Of the western people" If
that letter doesn't make Vic Murdoch
solid in FL Dorado, nothing Will.
Deacon Walker: Old Bill Shiftless
was in town the other day consulting
a doctor. Bill has the spring fever
pretty bad. He hadn't noticed it much
until the other day when he took a
spade and attempted to set out few
trees. He got so tired in twenty min
utes that he had to go into the house
and rest His wife finished setting out
the trees Bill has been afflicted this
same way every summer. He wants
to move to some country where he Will
have better health and a poor man
has a show. He is thinking of going
to western Kansas. BilIS malady is
peculiar. He can stand around in the
sun all afternoon watching a horse
race or a game of baseball and can
even help at those things without
sign of fatigue, but the moment he
touches a farm implement he is af-
hicted with a faintness that overeomes
him and he has to rest. Last summer
Mrs. Shiftless cultivated four times as
much corn as Bill did. Bill was so
pleased that he bought her a new
calico dress with the money he got
from selling the butter she made.
THAT woman" says Bill, ''never does
get tired. She just loves to work. She
has helped me quite little in making
what I've got
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18
JOURNAL ENTRIES.
ing the proportions of the Topeka sorori-
ty row.

The Chicago strike is rapidly assum-
ing the proportions of the Topeka sororl-
ty row.
Perhaps Governor Hoch will pardon
Willie Sell in time for some of the
Chautauqua assemblies to secure him
as an attraction.
It has been several days since anyone
suggested that Governor Hoch call out
the militia to stop the joints in the
wheat.
Football players can keep in practice
at present by attending the receptions
given to the state federation club menu
bers.
Where is Rojestvensky? asks an
| exchange. Better try want ad in the
State Journal.
There seems to be a pretty fair liar
among the correspondents at Muscogee,
too. He sends out a dispatch that an
Indian couple there became the parents
Of a baby a year after marriage. A
year later twins came along. The third
year there were triplets, and the fourth
year a quartette. Then the head of the
house got a divorce.
The dispatches say that England is
advising the Japs to keep cool This is
in line with the State Journals advice
to japan to keep her hmona on.
The friends of Harry Bone will re-
greet to learn that he has acquired the
souvenir postal card habit.
Society note: The Kappa Iota Delta
fraternity of the South Topeka primary
department will hold a smoker tomor-
row afternoon behind Johnnie Jack
sons pas barn, after which they will
| attend a soiree given by the Beta Alpha
| Beta Epsilon sorority of the west side
kindergarten. Nurses will be in at
tendance at the latter and trundle beds
provided for those who become sleepy.
The K. I. D. fraternity's parties are
very popular.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18
ADVERTISING A CONTINUITY.

While Topeka has set her mark for
$4,000 people in 1910. the young business
men of Dallas. Texas, have begun to
strive for double that number for their
city in the same length of time. They
have organized a Hundred and Fifty
Thousand club. and they act as though
they actually expect to reach that fig-
ure when the next decenniaI census Is
taken.
This looks like a gigantic undertake
ing, especially TO those IN more favored
cIimes than Texas. At least we people
in Kansas are apt to think that Texas
is a less favored cline than ours. Yet
the Dallas people are starting out with
an energy that will bring success if
anything will.
It is proposed to spend $4,000 q. year
in advertising, which in the five years
intervening between now and 1910, will
amount to one dollar each for the pop
ulation desired. II the proposed popu-
lation is secured the newcomers viii
soon pay for the expense of bringing
themselves there several times over.
The task that is ahead of the people
"a A(e-AAes9 A. lAAO0A ny sAAE lat THAT III
1900 Dallas was only 5000 people ahead
OF Topeka. It is not the capital of the
state. and it has Fort Worth and other
towns in which it must compete. Yet
its business men hope in the ten years
from 1900 to increase the population of
their city $50 per cent, or from AZ, 900 to
10000
California annually spends a large
IF fsc4r7
sources and advantages in the east.
Each county has the power to make a
tax levy for publicity purposes, and
they make it count.
One of the things which Kansas most
needs is sensible and systematic adver-
Using in the east-not the kind of ad-
vertising which 1t has received in too
many cases, but advertising setting
forth its cheap land and its resources.
We people who live here know all
about these things, but the people of
the east do not. Too many fasteners
think of Kansas as a land of freaks
and heresies, Of cyclones and drouths.
Occasional stories of the productivity
and wealth Of the Kansas soil go east,
but they need to be repeated and back
ed up over and over again to bring
newcomers to the state, for Canada and
other sections of the country are con-
stantly endeavoring to pull people in
their directions.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18
A Gentle Spirit.

A New York man tells a good story
of Frank Croker, the son of the for
mer Tammany boss, who was killed a
few months ago in an automobile ac-
cident in Florida and a brother of
Herbert Croker, who died a few days
ago on a Santa Fe train.
1.-THE late Frank Croker said this
New York man, "had a quiet and
kindly manner. He was modest and
diffdent, and averse to giving pain.
Croker once had the misfortune 70
employ for a little while a dishonest
valet. He overlooked the mans first
two or three thefts, thinking that per-
haps there might be some error. Soon,
though, he was obliged to speak about
his cigarettes, for he smoked a very
expensive brand that he imported
from Cairo, and a half dozen times
running he caught the valet with one
of these cigarettes in his mouth.
when he did speak, his reprimand
was gentle; it illustrated well his gen
tie and kind nature.
'sHe opened, in the Wallets presence,
a box originally of 100 cigarettes. and
pointed to the hole that had been
made by the theft of half of them.
Then, with an embarrassed smile. he
said:
g This is going too far. Hodge. We
smoke, I fear, a great deal too
much"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18
GLOBE SIGHTS.
LFrom the Atchison

IFrom the Atchison Globe.1
A lecturer is never the real thing
until some one manages" him.
Nothing so soon becomes in the way
rs the enlarged picture of one who is
dead.
When a woman marries a man, she
should remember that If he had his
way, he'd be a Mormon.
Any one who is impious in CONVEX
sation is regarded by some people as
being unusually bright.
No boy ever got up so early to go
fishing that Mother wasn't also up to
get his breakfast ready.
It is about time a certain young
man. whom everybody regards as SUI
perior, was doing something.
There are some men so worthless
that if they were horses they would
be hitched to a movers wagon.
A good many travelling passenger
agents. are travelling, but other people
are staying at home pretty close.
ct did not dream" writes a three
days-bride home to her folks, that
anything out of heaven could be as
grand as he is"
The children" every mother com
plains, "are just like their father: they
are always inviting some one home to
eat with them"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18
ELECTRIC RAILROADS.

In the current number of the
Worlds Work is an article which
shows the remarkable growth which
rural and interurban trolley lines are
making in the United States. Electric
engines are even coming into use for
handling the heavy suburban traffic
around New York and to haul the
heavy through trains in and out of the
metropolis. Electricity is suppIanting
steam in many ways. On the inter-
urban lines of Ohio and Indiana Sleep
ing cars and diners are run. and ex-
press cars are also coming into use.
These facts are Of special interest to
Topeka at present in view of the pro-
posed electric line from Topeka to
Council Grove. They prove that cleo
tricity is the coming power for short
lines and that the Topeka Council
Grove line will be no new experiment.
The lines already in operation, too,
have greatly developed the country
through which they run, by giving
speedy and easy communication with
the centers of population, and they
have also built up these centers of
population by reason of making them
easy Of access to the surrounding
country. The trolley car has an ad-
vantage over the steam car in that it
can stop at every cross road and farm
house. and at the same time it re-
quires a, crew OF only two men, only
half the number required to operate
a steam train.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18
THAT TTRED FEFTdNG.

Don't want to work, or nothin';
Don't want to read or walk;
Don't want to drink don't want to think
Don't even want to talk
Don't want to go to dinaer.
Don't want to go to bed:
Can't seem to rest-this weather's jest
Maturity gone to my head!
You can't hardly call it lazy
You can't rightly name it sick,
But good lands sake! how my bones do
ache
Whenever I work a licki
It's Just too blame much bother
To do anythin' but lie
On the fat O. yer back and look through
q crack
In the trees at that warm, blue sky.
I know I'd orter make garden,
know I'd orter rake
The trash that lays in the yard, an
Be helpin' my wife to make
Soft SOAP. But I jest cant do it,
I amt in tn right condition;
But if some one 'ud dig some bait. an rig
Ny tackle, I'd 50 a-ashin'!
Cleveland Leader
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18
She We Not BeautifuI.

TAT the whistler exhibitiOn IN Lon
don," said a tourist, 81 had chat
with Joseph Pencil, the well known
artist. Pencil had spent his boyhood
in Germantown with me, and so we
talked of our old Germantown friends.
We talked of a boy who had become
an artist and married a rich woman.
''PenneIl said this chap was not al
together happy. He said he would tell
me a story about him that would re-
veal subtly, in a Henry James man
ner, the cause of his unhappiness.
"A stranger visited the mans studio
one day, and paused, full Of wonder,
before a life size, full length picture of
a woman in a white Greek dress.
"'Is this, said the stranger, in a
tone of amazement, your ideal?'
=" NO. the artist answered; it's my
WIFE
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18
a Gnod Cerk.

William A Pinkerton, the head Of
the noted detective agency, was talk
ing in Chicago about amateur thieves.
There are" said Mr.. Pinkerton,
more amateur thieves than you would
beIeve-men of good standing, even
churchmen, who suddenly, yielding to
an overpowering temptation, steal a
pen from stationer, a tooth brush
from a druggist, a book from the
house of a friend.
"Often the stationer. the druggist
and the friend overlook these thefts.
Why, for the sake of a few cents, dis
grace a man for life? Sometimes,
though, they are able to retrieve their
loss with interest, yet without tainting
the amateur thief's good name. III
tell you of a case in point
Mr.. Pinkerton smiled.
zone of Chicago's greatest million
aires" he said, began life as a clerk
in a general store in the country. He
was good clerk. He had his en-
ployer's interests as well as his own at
heart.
"On a certain morning there entered
the store a rich farmer. The farmer
bought ten pounds of wool at so cents
a pound, and then, when the clerk S
back was turned, grabbed up five
pound chunk Of cheese and dropped
it in his bag on top of the wool.
'sThis honest farmer, you see, had
| been unable to resist a sudden great
temptation. He was scared now at the
| thought Of what he had done. He
| trembled; he looked at the clerk anx-
iously; so strange, indeed, was his de-
meanor that the clerk became sus-
picious. He looked about the shop,
missed the cheese. and at once knew
what had happened.
1.-The farmer was a, good customer
and a good citizen. It would be un-
wise to ruin his reputation. The clerk,
as he made out the bill for the wool,
asked himself how, without exposing
the thief, he might get back the
cheese's value.
Suddenly a thought struck him.
BY crinusi' he said, I can't re-
member how many pounds Of wooa
that was
Ten pounds said the farmer
=" tt Seems like more to me- said
the clerk. Are you sure it wasn't
more?'
Ten pounds. I'm positive. was all,
the farmer said.
''The clerk took the bag from the
mans hands.
Just to make sure he said, wen
weigh her again.
"And the bag. put on the scales a
second Time registered, of course, an
additional FIVE pounds the weight of
the stolen cheese, for which the farm
er now paid at SO cents, the rate per
pound for wool. instead of at II cents,
the rightful rate for cheese Then
this amateur thief slung his bag over
his shoulder and departed with a
gloomy, sour Iook.''-Los Angeles
Times
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18
POINTED PARAGRAPHs

TFrOm the CHICAGO NeWsI
Some puns are almost as spointless as a
Woman's 0enc1
A good many moving spectacles are due
to heartless landlords.
Every time a man takes a tumble he
falls against his inclination.
A mans reputation often depends on the
size of his bank balance
The foolish man ties up his dog at night
and lets his children run loose.
A man nearly always gets nervous when
his wife says she wants to have a short
talk with him.
once in about ten thousand times a girl
really does get angry when a young man
steals 4 kiss.
mother-in-law's will power may keep
a man gOod-if she has the power to will
a few thousand dollars.
Many a man works his friends so that
he may be in a position to play the races.
A girl thinks her body is a glove for
her heart.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18
ATetIicaI Ignorance.

The late Jay Cooke was talking one
day in his Ogontz residence about
General Grant.
General Grant" he said, smiling.
"once described to me an illiterate
surgeon in the employ of a certain
northern regiment.
"A promising young officer had been
wounded, and this surgeon had dressed
his wounds. General Grant sent for
the surgeon. later, to ascertain the
young officers chances.
" He is wounded said the surgeon
to the commander-in-chief in three
places
care these wounds fatal?' General
"The surgeon nodded a grave as
sent.
1.-TWO of the wounds is fatal he
said. The third is not. If we can
leave him to rest quiet for a while, I
think he will pull through"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18
ODE no THB REpORTER.

No rhyme immortal has been writ
To them. the chaps that choose for US
And polish with their ready wit
The best of all the news for US.
Through rain or shine. through heat o
cold,
They're always on the jump for US,
And be they young or be they old
They're all too glad to hump for us.
A murder case or suicide,
They jOt the details down for US;
The debutante or blushing bride
They photograph her gown for US.
The battles roar brings naught Of fear.
They photograph the sound for US;
And for our victories far and near
They make the praises rebound to US.
They criticise the latest play
In para graphs unique for us;
And II, perchance, our footsteps stray,
They help the force" to seek for US.
They tell the poor mans sad, sad tale,
In words that quite appeal to US:
And should we pass the social pale,
Our secrets they reveal to US.
They I'LL the papers night and day
With automobile speed for US;
They tell US what the rich folks say
And chronicle each deed for US.
They double lead strange tales of graft
In politics all queer to US;
And sometimes Stigmatize our craft
With comments that adhere to US.
New York Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18
oUAKER REFLECTToNa.

Iron the Philadelphia Record
The fellow who wins in a walk must
be the only entry.
The bald-headed man is rather par
tail to hair-raising stories.
All gamblers are superstitious. AT
any rate, it's unlucky to lose
The best way to keep ahead of the
races is to keep away from them.
You couldn't knock the conceit out
of some people with brass knuckles.
Nel-"She says her French is self
taught" Believes; also self-un-
derstood."
Sillicus-'eTwo can live as cheaply
as one" Cynicus-s'Yes; there's no
alimony."
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18
REFLECTION OF A BACHELOR
TFrom the New York Press.1

TFrom the New York Press
one of the hardest things is not to
believe your own lies
The hand that cooks the meals is
the hand that ruins the worlds diges-
ton.
Either people have hard work mar
rving those they love or loving those
they marry.
There is a great deal of pleasure in
the world for those who don't hunt
too hard for it.
If a man has a big family he won't
have to worry so much about the dis
grace of diving rich.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18
Non IS ~ NELSON'S DAY-

King Alfonso Of Spain is about to visit
France. He-will be escorted by a
squadron of Spanish battle ships and
will be met at Cherbourg by a strong
French fleet A squadron of British
ships of war will also visit Cherbourg
1t is just a hundred years ago since
French, Spanish and British fleets met
The meeting then was off Cape Trafal-
gar-Portland Oregonian.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18

This Balkan war cloud that is loom
ing up again looks very familiar to
people who lived in western Kansas
twenty years ago. Clouds out there
used to act the same way: Nothing
ever came of them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18
TIE ARID REGION-

It will be noticed that Secretary Will
son made no reference to the arid belt
of Kansas in his addresses to western
Kansas audiences yesterday. This isn't
the season Of the year when any part
of Kansas is arid.-Lawrence Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18

The great congressional junket to the
Philippines next summer threatens to
be broken up by the requirement that
the invited guests shall pay ell expenses
of the trip save transportation in a gov
eminent ship.-Philadelphia Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18
TIE CONDITIONs.

Neighbor James J. Jeffries now an
nounces that his retirement from the
prize ring is positive and unreversible,
and he viii never fight again unless
somebody calls him - liar and says ne
is not champion of the world. in which
event he will resent the insult and
tackle the insuIter, provided the proper
forfeit is posted and the usual IS per
cent Of the gate receipts IS guaranteed.
LOS Angeles Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18
AMONG THE APOsTLES.

Several of the twelve apostles of the
Mormon church will be among our Wis
itors from Salt Lake during the week,
but that need not necessarily brighten
anybody. Besides, any lady who fears
that her good looks may prove fatal
has the privilege of locking herself in
Los Angeles Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18
THR REAsON WHY

Hon Edward Atkinson boldly renews
his assertion that sos a year is enough
for a woman to dress on. But if any
woman in the United States dresses on
that sum, there is only one reason for
it. She can't raise more than $65.-New
York Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18

Every girl spends a portion of her
time looking for a hero. If she fails to
ind one she proceeds to talk about not
believing in getting married and living
to be an old maid. It is a bluff that
has stood the wear and tear of many
centuries.=Osborne Farmer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18

In speaking of the proposal of the
professors Of the University of Kansas
TO measure the cath to find it's exact
size, the Chicago News suggests that
perhaps they want to get at an ap-
proumate estimate of Mr.. Rookie
1eller's wealth.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18

AS we understand it. Secretary Taft
simply gave the railroad magnates a
tip that they had better take to the
cyclone cellar of the interstate COM
merce commission before the storm OF
popular indignation comes along.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18
THE KIND THEY WANT.

What's the use of all this trouble and
worry trying to invent a seedless apple
Inc women wouldn't eat them anyway.
what they want is the kind where you
can say: One I love. two love say.
three I love with all my heart etc
Emporia Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18
IS THIS THE REASON.

The thought somehow intrudes itself
that Togo and Rojestvensly may be
waiting to see how this teamsters'
strike turns out.-Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18

1t is now proposed to start a. train
from New York for Chicago every
two hours. It must not be judged by
this that people are so anxious to go
TO Chicago. They are just anxious to
get away from New York.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18

all OF the time, but you can't fool All
of the people all of the time" This
statement is now attributed to the
late P. 7. Barnum, who had some ex-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18

That New York jurist who says that
Nan Patterson lied ought to have
learned by this time that it is not
good form to call a lady a liar. It
would have meant the same thing if
he had said she prevarieated faster
than a horse can trot.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18
In Win.

Enemies of General Bristow are still
examining the records of the postoffice
department in the hope of finding a
case where he shOrtchanged a fourth
class postmaster on a requisition for a
ball of tWine.-St. Louis Globe-Demo-
Graf.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-18

The Kansas City star thinks that
Kansas and Chicago should be more
explicit in referring to their respective
Hochs. Kansas expects Chicago to
dispose of hers before long.