davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

It is noticeable that the New York
bosses IN neither party are making as
lnueh run OF Mr.. Hearts proposed in
dependent candidacy for governor as
they did Of his municipal ownership
race Tor mayor when he first started
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

Russia. regrets to report that she is
still painfully shy of peace on earth,
good will toward men.-Anaconda
Standard.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

The Enterprise Push is a new. paper
at Enterprise. Tt certainly ought to
succeed with that kind Of a name.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18
"a M0WERS-

If it were left to the Washington
florists. sUncle Joe" Cannon would
never again be chosen speaker of the
house.-Baltinore Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18
BrsINEss IN- CONGREss.

There is no indication that the pres
ent congress desires to distinguish
itself by the volume OF its legislation.
What the quality of the latter will be
remains to be seen.-Baltimore sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

1t seems that all the ''Fads ana Fan
cies'' IN New York have not yet been
exhausted
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

PRETTY CLOSE. THOUGH.

"A subscriber" asks for the age of
William r. Hearst. For his benefit we
will say that Hearst has not yet at
tanned his majority.-Salt Lake
Herald
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

You have heard of the busy hen? For
get 1t. That story about the cheerful
lay of the bs&nyard fowl? A piece Of
fool fiction wlBten IN an Idle moment
BY a reporter who never bought the
groceries f. the morning. The hen Is
a loafer. Eggs are Is cents. The price
is going higher Grocery stores are
leaving the cash box out of nights, to
put the eggs in the safe. The condi-
ton is attributed to but one cause.-The
hen has quit work without even sending
in a grievance nittee-Ottawa Her
aid
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18
THE HORRIBLE EXAMPLE.

Senator PIatt Is q nOrrlpIe example
of the man who refuses to let go unit
he has to.-Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18
KANSAS C0MAEHT


BY his own request Senator Burton
IS to be left of al senatorial commit
tees pending his appeal to the SUI
preme court of the United States
Probably he would have been left of
just the same without any request
Clay Center Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

observation-disclosures. did hear you
swearing at your little sister just now7''
Johnnie-Y-yes, grandma, but were
were only playing automobile-she's the
automobile. Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

He-Don't you think that some Of her
sayings are snaart?''
They aren't, but they do."-Brooklyn
Life.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

It shall miss you while you are on your
hunting trip, dear" murmured the young
wife affeetionately, 'and Z shall pray that
the men you are going with viii do the
same. Cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

Let me say to the u intelligent men
of the jury began the eloquent counsel.
that my clients have not formed a trust
and If they have its purposes are noble
and benign And. furthermore, it's only
one Of those gentlenen's arguments that
no gentleman keeps, anyhow"
At last accounts the jury had sent to
the court in quest of a remedy for brain
ag.-Philadelphia Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

What in the name Of the Seven sleep
ers is the matter with this shirt front?f
Don't speak so loud, Harry. The new
girl made q mistake and used the sauce
don't md any fault, dear. I know she'll
leave if you do"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

Priscilla had just asked John to speak
for himself. You see she explained, Il
won't give him a chance after we are
married" Wishing poetry instead Of fact.
however, I4ongfellow wrote UP a different
version.-New York Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

Sonny" said the good old man, I'm
surprised that you should tease the cat
in that way
''Why2" replied the boy, pausing in
better way ?''-Philadelphia Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

Man" remarked the youth with the
noisy tie, lis a superior animal That's
what" rejoined the young man in the
parlor scene A man can be more kinds
Of a donkey than a donkey can.''-Chi-
cago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

what does your wife do when you
stay out late at night2''
Sleeps
That's good
"Oh, don't know. Just as soon as I
get home she wakes up and stays awake
until morning. cleveland Plain Dealer
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

''That young groom" said the minister
after the ceremony gave me a $50 fee.
What q bIessingI'
yes" said his wife with her hand out
ut is more blessed to give than to re-
ceive. "-Philadelphia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

What style Of Panama canal do you
prefer?'
Il haven't given the subject much
technical study answered Senator Sor-
ghum, but on general principles favor
the one that will cost the most and take
the longest. More chance for quiet and
incidental emoluments.'' - Washington.
Star
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

But" said the insurance solicitor.
you should do something to provide for
your family after your DEATH,
I'D like to- and will If you can show
me how to provide for them while I'm
living and at the same time help to sup
port the officials Of your company in the
style to which they have been accustonl-
ed."-Chicago Record-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

Tess-Yes. saw May Gaddie at the re-
ception last night
Jess-Why, that's strangeI She told me
today that she didn't see you there, al
though she was looking for you
Tess-Of course, stupid Didn't I tell
you saw er?-Philadelphia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

Skorcher-Got an automobile, have YOU?
It's very strange I never see you on the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

First Cracksman-Wot dye fink O.
dat? Dat amt muffin in dis safe but
some receipts fer life insurance premi-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

You folks are doubtless well aware
December is the closing month
It's time therefore for you to think
OF what you'n give up Jan. the oneth
Milwaukee Sentinel
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

'.I5as he taken up automobiiing as a
no. as a frenzy."-chicago Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

Second Cracksman-Say. I'm goin' ter
quit dis business. Dere's too much COM
petition nowadays.-Cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

The girl question is as serious to the
average woman as it was to her hus-
band in his younger days.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

IT nebber could quite see de sense ,,
said Uncle Eben, "of some folks 5at
sings an plays de piano raisin' as much
fuss as dey does bout de noise chiIiun
makes aroun' de house. washington
Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

Newman-That's because as soon as I
land there, I always pick myself I'D and
scramble back into the machine.-Phila-
delphfa Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

= Pat-The trouble wild Dugan is he has
no backbone.
Mike-Faith he has backbone enough,
If he'd only bring it to the front.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

It Is pretty safe to guess that Sena-
tor Burton won't let any dentist fool
with his teeth at this stage Of the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

You don't approve of the govern
ment's taking any hand in the railroad
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

1T IS no Joke" says Chauncey NJ
NO bon mot bright and verdurv.
At my age to be claesed with them
Who are accused Of perjury
st. Louis DISPATCH
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

did you name the baby after his
mo, we named him after a prolonged
scrap in which the whole family en-
gagged. cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

ooh. he's a great promoter, all right -
What's the latest scheme7''
Hes getting up a company to saca,ra
the aerial right Of way between wTev,
York and Washington. 'f-C1eveIand T1sf,
Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

CONNIE 7 Fault want some rice .,
she said. eying the trades-person tfrouell
her lorgneIte. You have II for sale
have you not2" 'Yes'u'' replied he sssf
course; tour cents pound. or two
pounds On must have the most ex-
pensive Kind; It's for a fsshforei5is -
ding "-Phnadelphia Press
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

De Tanuue-I never saw Guzzler in
such a condition as he was last night.
was positively shocked.
Der.
De Tanque-I know. That's what gave
me the shock-Philadelphia Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

No answered Farmer Cornt0ssel IT
believe in keepinT EN- apart. Some o. these
railroad men is mighty smart. The first
thing we know. they'll be ownin' a con-
trollin' interest in the cover rneuf -
Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18
HUM0R OF THE Day

Comic man Ito unappreciated tenor
whose song has just been received in
stony silence)-'I say, you're not going to
sing an encore. are your
Unapprecisted tenor (frmly)-Yes, I
am. Serve them rightr'-Punch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

(which do you think we had better
maker said one Russian Official,
threats or promises2''
''Whichever you choose" answered the
other. The people are paying just a.
much attention to one as the other.''-
Washington Star
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-18

Rather funny, isn't It. that they al
ways put the dressing Of a chicken on
the inside.
Sistersville daily review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1905-1907, 1905-05-22
strIkes m RussIa.

3 When strikes occur, there is nc
delay in dealing with them. Troops
are modified at once. The printers
In Moscow, for example, struck last
autumn. The strikers marched in
procession along a few streets, clam
oring for shorter hours. They COM
planned that they had been COM
PEELED to work overtime and that no
compensation had been given for
the extra labor. General Trepor,
chief of police, issued a notice that
any man refusing to return to work
would be excluded forever from
Moscow. This stopped the move.
ment. Such notices have stopped
similar movements elsewhere. -
Worlds Work.
Sistersville daily review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1905-1907, 1905-05-22
A Rigid Unitarian.

A Canadian university man is enliv'
ening his home circle with the follow
Ing story: He was touring in Scotland
last summer. One Sunday morning he
put his little hammer in his pocket Che
Is an amateur geologisO and, strolling
out upon the hills, began to chip of
such specimens Of rock as interested
him. A native passing by looked on
with a frown. "Sir," he said, do ye
ken yer breakin' more than stones
there?" "Breakin' the Sabbath, eht'
said the young Canadian. with laugh,
and. to apycase tie Scot, he put away
the hammer and walked a little way
with him. A turn OF the roa" revealed
the ruins OF castle. What castle is
tl#;T" sad go sfr&n~cr rs moo tho
day" w. &c.. >r'rv. reply. ito Le
spr;,'. ...ur NU'i"Ok.
Sistersville daily review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1905-1907, 1905-05-22
Ant Proof Trunks.

The trunk maker was showing his
wares. lie pointed 10 long, low
glistening black trunk and said;
"That looks almost burglar proof,
doesn't ii? Well, if it isn't that its
red ant proof. It's covered witt
sheet steel, and when it is closed il
is almost as tight as safe. We are
making that trunk for the army OF
fcers in the Philippines, and We'yt
Just sold forty-Gve to this year:
class at West Point. This frank.
and I mean by that~a trunk clac
top, bottom and sides with sheet
steel. is the only kind of trunk
which deies the red ant of the Phil
ippines. The strong little crea-
ture with it's powerful mandlbles
can eat its way through an ordinary
wood and canvas or sole leather
trunk, and once it is on the inside
it eats everything it finds. l sup
pose now the red ants will have ia
equip themselves with jimnies. -
New York Post.
Sistersville daily review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1905-1907, 1905-05-22
There is a Difference.

The difference between Kenne-
dy's Laxative Honey and Tar and
all other cough syrups is that it
moves the bowels, thus expelling
a cold from the system. This re-
lakes the nerve tissues and by its
healing and soothing effect on the
throat and lungs the cough is re-
lieved-cured entirely. Kenne-
dy's is the original laxative honey
and tar. 1t contains no opiates.
Good alike for young and old.
Sold by Opera House Drug Store.
Sistersville daily review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1905-1907, 1905-05-22
Why Suffer From Rheumatism?

Why suffer from rheumatism
when one application of Chamber
lain's Pain Balm will relieve the
pain2 The quick relief which this
liniment affords makes rest and
sleep possible, and that alone is
worth many times it's cost. Many
who have used it hoping only for
a short relief from suffering have
been happily surprised to find that
after awhile the relief becomes
permanent. Mrs. V. H. Leggett
of Yum Yum, Tenn, U. S. A,
writes: II am a great sufferer
from rheumatism, all over from
head to foot, and Chamberlain s
Pain Balm is the only thing that
will relieve the pain" For sale
by Hill Bros.
Sistersville daily review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1905-1907, 1905-05-22
Saved by Dynamite.

Sometimes a flaming city is
saved by dynamiting a space that
the fire can't cross. Sometimes a
cough hands on so long you feel
as if nothing but dynamite would
cure it. q. T. Gray of Calhoun,
Ca, writes: "My wife had very
aggravated cough, which kept her
awake nights. Two physicians
could not help her; so she took
DR.. Kings New Discovery for
Consumption, Coughs and Colds,
which eased her cough, gave her
sleep, and finally cured her y
Strictly scientific cure for bronchi-
tbs and la grippe. At D. A. Hen
dershot's drug store; price SOC
and 81; guaranteed. Trial bottle
free.
Sistersville daily review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1905-1907, 1905-05-22
Soyaity uId Chess-

Cafds aavn been the amusement @
kiagS ard queens for centuries. supe?
seding Glttprly the royal gam" OF chess
Which filled up the leisure moments C,
William the Conquero:, Queen Eliza
beth and Charles | The latter was S:
aSsOrhed iii his f&voritr pastime WheE
the news reached him that Scotland
;.ad determined to sell him to the Eng
,ish parliament that though well
aware what the intelligence BODIED. he
calmly played the game to the end.
Queen Victoria preferred chess to
cards. though during her old age she
fond diversion by playing 'patience.'
) keen chess player. the great Napc
'rur would not submit to be beaten,
md if nc found his skill ineffective
would throw board anC chessmeD an
,,-ily on the ground
Sistersville daily review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1905-1907, 1905-05-22
A Wonderful Cure.
Redriddon Six Months, ] Am
Now Doing My Own
HouseWork.

About Is years ago I was album down
with nervous prostration and palpitation
of the heart (often getting black in the
face and thought to be dying, losing flesh,
till from $50 pounds my weight was re-
duced to SO pounds, and for six months I
was confined to my bed. A relative Of
mine who had been troubled with female
weakness and nervous prostration and
had been cured by Thompson's Baros.
ma, recommended it to me. I began taking
ThompSOn'S Barosma at once and was
not only cured of nervous prostration and
palpitation of the heart, but began to gain
In flesh until in short time / weighed lao
pounds, and from that time on until now
have been perfectly well, doing my own
housework.-MRs. ELY MARSH, Titusville,
Pa. Thompson's Barosma, Kidney and
Liver Cure SOC. and >Sl.00
Hill Brothers, Druggists.
Sistersville daily review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1905-1907, 1905-05-22
A sure Way of Saving.

An ingenious method Of putting bis
savings beyond his own reach has been
adopted by a German writer who found
rom dire experience that all his prof
it's melted away as soon as earned
Having made $4,000 by fortunate
literary speculation, he placed the
whole of the money, together with his
will, In the Imperial Deposit bank at
Berlin and on receiving the receipt
Prom the cashier deliberately tore 1t
up. The cashier thought he was mad
and told him angrily that it would take
fully three years before be could ex-
pect to obtain duplicate receipt THAT
Is just why l have torn up the origi
Hfal," calmly remarked the depositor,
a.and now the money Is safe for that
time Golden Penny.
Sistersville daily review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1905-1907, 1905-05-22
Fashionable New Gem.

1t is long since anything new q
precious stones made bid for pop
ularity, says the Pail Mall Gazette
but since it became known thai
King Edward looked with favor on
the peridot the beautiful sage greeh
gem is beginning to have a vogue.
The peridot, the Arabic name for
"precious stone" has for many years
been found in Ural mountain quartz
and in the rocks of South America,
but it has been reserved for the
khedive of Egypt to find the stone
in marketable quantity. The stone
is not prohibitiye in price and goes
beautifully with almost anything
except sapphires. In settings OF
diamonds or pearls it is effective,
and it is likely to be priced for Its
decorative value in the larger kinds
Of ornaments.
Sistersville daily review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1905-1907, 1905-05-22
A GLASS OF WATER.
When to Drink It and the Effects y
Will Produce.

Drink a glass of w. when yor
get out Of bed in the morn- New,
er mind the size of the glass. Let
the water be cold if you will. Some
people prescribe hot water, but that
isn't necessary. You may have
washed your face already and rel,
ished the experience. You may have
taken a cold plunge into the tr!'
and delighted in the shock and it
reaction. The brisk use of the tooth
brush has left your mouth clean
and the breath sweet. But You are
dirty still. Drink glass of cold
water and enjoy the sensation o.
being clean inside. All that is'lux-
urious in the cold bath cleansing
the outside is artificial. That which
should prompt the glass of waite:
after sleeping is natural. As a test.
tell the nine-year-old protestant
against his morning scrub Of cold
water that he may escape it by
drinking half a pint of the fluid.
He will Jump at the opportunity.
Sleep has drawn upon the water
in the blood, and the instinct of the
animal under natural conditions is
to replenish the circulatory system
and distend the blood vessels anew.
The food in the stomach which had
80 much to do toward inducing
sleep has disappeared, leaving a
mucous substance in the alimentary
canal. Yet man would wash his
face and leave. these half clogged
canals do the duties of another day
Drink glass CT cold water in the
name of cleanliness. 1t becomes
one of the shortest and easiest OF
toilet duties. 1t is swallowed in i
second, and in five minutes it has
passed from the stomach, taking
with it the clogging secretions OF
the alimentary tracts. 1t has left
behind the stimulus that goes with
cold water, and by filling the arte
rial system to the normal it puts s
spur to the circulation that ha
grown sluggish in the night. 1t Is
one of the greatest Of awakenerS
and one of natures own stimulants
nrink a glass of water before
breakfast, another before luncheon
and another before dinner. Wate1
is the best, cheapest and pleasantesi
medicine.-Chicago Tribune.
Sistersville daily review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1905-1907, 1905-05-22
4 Bird that, Hard TO XIII.

PcMguinS have an extraordinary
amount of vitality ard are harder to
kill than any ordinary cat. The writer
once had occasion to Kill large bird
aboard his ship. the Southern Cross,
and. making use of the weapon next
his hand, he drove a large spike square,
ly through the creatures head and fin
ished the operation by mailing 1t fast to
the deck. That seemed to make the Job
very complete, and he went below
decks for dinner. Coming up al hour
later, his establishment was prodigious
on beholding the penguin, head erect
clippers out, waddliGg about, apparent
ly without thought Of the spike, which
still remained transfixed in his Uranium
Sistersville daily review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1905-1907, 1905-05-22
The New SONG of the Shirt.

The up to date song of the shirt
lasts just six and one-half minutes,
according to a factory inspector for
whose edifcatiop the foreman Of
shirt factory stated piece of cloth
on the rounds and made it come out
ready for a customers back before
the second hand on a watch had re.
yolved seven times. In this time
seven girls had contributed thei:
efforts to the finished product One
machine in this shop makes 1880
buttonholes day, or twenty-eight
in a minute, and in a ten hour day
man can cut $50 dozen shirts.-Chi-
cago Tribune.
Sistersville daily review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1905-1907, 1905-05-22
Hot Weather Piles.

Persons afflicted with piles
should be careful at this season of
the year. Hot weather and bad
drinking water contribute to the
conditions which make piles more
painful and dangerous. Dewitt s
Witch Hazel Salve stops the pain,
draws cut the soreness and cures.
Get the genuine, bearing the name
of E. G. Dewitt & Company. Sold
by Opera House Drug Store.
Sistersville daily review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1905-1907, 1905-05-22
The Motorers' PARADISE.

Friends o. the sell motors dectar,
that Holland is an earthly paradist
for automobiles because of the leye
nature of the country and the long
straight, stretches Of the thorough
fares. Moreover, it is not to be for
gotten that when these vehicles rul
amuck in the realm Of Queen Vii,
helmina there are no crags for Their
to dash against and no cliffs To-
them to fail from. If they 60 OIL /:
rampage the gentle, oozy bed Of :
placid canal is ready to receive the"
caressingly and without harm. llo
land Tor the autos and the aUtns T.
Holland, by 8Ii means!
Sistersville daily review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1905-1907, 1905-05-22
Chambe1lain's Cough
Remedy the Very Best.

~ have been using Chamber
lain's Cough Remedy, and want to
say it is the best cough medicine
1 have ever TAKEN" says Geo. L.
Chubb, a merchant of Harlan,
Mich. There is no question about
it's being the best, as it will cure
a cough or cold in less time than
any other treatment. 1t should
always be kept in the house ready
for instant use, for a cold can be
cured in much less time when
promptly treated. For sale by
Hill Bros.
Sistersville daily review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1905-1907, 1905-05-22
The Nose.

Use the nose to breathe through and
not the mouth. In winter and spring
particularly must this care be taken.
II the mouth Is kept open large drafts
Of cold air rush directly in upon the
lungs, chilling the body almost In
stantIy. IL the mouth II kept shut the
air can reach the lungs only By the
circuit Of the nose and head, and It be
comes warmed before reaching the
lungs. 1t is asserted that the reason
the American nose II becoming more
and more narrow Is owing to the repre-
hensive habit of breathing through the
mouth rather than following the inten
tion Of nature.