davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01

igan and Canada, than goes through
the Suez, and we don't howl about it
very much. ..
Well, sir, / have studied Gibraltar
in my geography, and read about it
in the papers, and seen its pictures in
advertisements, but never realized
what big thing it was. Now, who
ever thought of putting that enormous
rock right there on that prairie, but
God. suppose the English, when they
saw that rock, thought the good Lord
had put It there for the English to
drill holes in, for guns, and when the
Lord was busy somewhere else the
English smouged the rock away from
Spain, by playing game with loaded
dice, and when England got it, that
country decided to arm it like train
robber, and hold up the other nations
of the earth.
When a vessel passes that rock it
has to hold up its hands and salute
the British flag, or get mess of hard
ware fired into it's vital parts, but that
is all it amounts to, cause it couldn't
win any battle for England, and could
only sink trading vessels. The walls
of the rock are perforated from top
to bottom, with holes big enough for
guns to squirt smoke and shells, but
if the enemy should stay away from
right in front of the holes, they might
shoot till doomsday, and never hit
anything but fishing smacks and ped
dlers of oranges.
Gibraltar is like white elephant in
a geological garden. 1t just eats, and
keeps off flies with it's short tail, and
visitors feed it peanuts, and wonder
what it was made for, and how much
hay it eats. Gibraltar is like a $40
gold piece that man carries in his
watch pocket for an emergency, which
he never intends to spend until he gets
in the highest place in his life, and
it wears out one pocket after another
and some day drops through on thu
sidewalk, and a tramp finds it and
goes on bat and gets the worth of
his money, and has good time, if he
saves enough to buy a bromo settler
the next morning after. 1t is like the
Russian war chest, that is never to
be opened as long as they can borrow
money.
If Gibraltar could be put on castors
and rolled around from one country
to another, England could whip all Eu-
rope and Asia. 1t would be Trojan
horse on larger scale, and be ter
ror, but, say, if it got to America,
we wouldn't do a thing to it. We
would run standpipe up the side, and
connect it with an oil pipe line, fill
Gibraltar's tunnels and avenues, and
magazines and barracks with crude oil.
and touch match to it, and not an
Englishman would live to tell about it.
Gee, but would be sorry for the
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01
CLEMENTINA GONZALES,
OF CENTRAL AMERICA,
RESTORED TO HEALTH.
PE-RU-NA THE REMEDY.

Miss Clementina Gonzales, Hotel Pro-
vincia, Guatemala, G. A., in a recent
letter from 247 Cleveland Ave-, Chicago,
ILL.,, writes:
If00k Peruna for a worn-onf con-
difion. Twas so run down that could
not sleep at night, had no appetite anG
felt tired In the morning.
"I tried many fonics, but Pernna
was the only thing which helped me In
the least. After had taken but a half
bottle / felt much better. Ic0nfinned
its use for three weeks and Twas COM
pIefey restored to health, and was
able to take up my studies which Ihad
been forced to drop. There Is nothing
better than Pernna to build up the
system. "---CIemenfina Gonzales.
Address The Peruna Medicine Co.,
of Columbus Ohio, for instructive free
literature on catarrh.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01
GUST THE DEMON.
A Tussle with Coffee.

There is something fairly demoniacal
fiendish malice on those who use it.
A lady writing from Calf. says
"My husband and /, both lovers of
coffee, suffered for some time from a
very annoying form of nervousness, ac-
companied by most frightful head
aches. In my own case there was
eventually developed some sort of af-
spine to the head.
81 was unable TO hold my head up
straight, the tension of the nerves drew
it to one side, causing me the most in
tense pain. We got no relief from
medicine, and were puzzled as to what
caused the trouble, till friend sug-
gested that possibly the coffee we
drank had something to do with it,
and advised that we quit it and try
Postum Coffee.
1--WE followed his advice, and from
the day that we began to use Postum
we both began to improve, and in
a very short time both of us were en-
LlT0ly T6llGt0u. hC AClfCo UCCdmO
steady once more, the headache ceased,
the muscles in the back of my neck re-
Taxed, my head Strengthened up, and
the dreadful pain that had so punished
me while I used the old kind of coffee
vanished.
eve have never resumed the use of
the old coffee, but relish our Postum
every day as we'll as we did the former
beverage. And we are delighted to find
that we can give it freely to our chill
dren, also, something we never dared
to do with the old kind Of coffee"
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich.
Postum Coffee contains absolutely no
drugs of any kind, but relieves the
coffee drinker from the old drug poi
son.
There's a reason.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01

treats them worse than San Francisco
treats Cinnamon, makes them live on
potatoes, and allows landlords to take
away the potatoes if they are shy on
the rent.
Gee, dad looked over my shoulder,
and saw what l had written, and he
cuffed me on the side of the head. and
said | was an incendiary, and that l
ought to have sense enough not to
write treason while a guest on Brit
ish soil) Well, | don't care a darn.
1t makes me hot under the collar when
1 think of the brave Irish fellows, and
/ wonder why they don't come to
America in body and be aldermen
and policemen. When / get home l
am going to join the Fenians, and
raise thunder just as quick as l am
old enough.
We'll, sir, We have been through the
Suez canal, and for a great modern
piece of engineering it doesn't size
up with sewer in Milwaukee, or
bayou in Louisiana. 1t is just dig
ing railroad cut through the desert,
and letting in the water, and there
you are. The only question in it's
construction was plenty of dredging
machines, and place to pile the dirt
and water that just came in of its own
accord, and stays there, and smells
like thunder, and you see the natives
look at it and keep away from the
banks, for fear the banks will cave in
on them, and give them bath before
their year is up, cause they don't
battle but once year, and when they
skip a year nobody knows about it.
Our boat went right along, and got
out of the canal, because it was
mail boat, but the most of the boats we
saw were tied up to the bank, waiting
for the millennium. We saw some Rus
sian boats waiting for the war to
blow over, and as we passed them
everv Russian on board looked scared,
as TIA ngh we were Japs, that were 60
ing to fire torpedo under them, or
throw bomb on deck, and when our
boat got by the Russian boat the crew
was called to prayers, to thank the
Lord, or whoever it is that the Rus
slams thank, because they had escaped
dire peril l guess the Russians are
all in, and that those who have not
gone to the front are shaking hands
with themselves, and waiting for the
dove of peace to alight on their guns.
The Suez canal probably pays, and
no wonder, cause they charge what
they please to- boats that go through,
and if they don't pay, all they have
to do is to stay out, and go around a
few thousand miles. 1t Ia like n
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01
Crews Gold and Silver Nest.

A pair of crows have constructed a
nest out of gold and silver spectacle
frames purloined from the factory of
Messrs. Lawrence and Mayo, in Bonn
bay. The materials for this nest (of
which the value is about s30) were
stolen by the willy crows during the
luncheon hour. 1t was noticed that
the spectacle frames were disappear.
Ing from the factory in a mysterious
manner, but it was some time before
the thief was discovered Allahabsd
Pioneer.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01
FIG. 81.


if filled with dark mahogany olored
filler will look well finished either in
wax or shellac.
Footstools, and also tabourettes,
when used as foot rests, are usually
covered with leather or some other dur
able upholstery material. In such cases
pine or poplar is used for the top in
place of hard wood, and all angles are
slightly rounded off.
Under the leather or other goods is
placed one or more thicknesses of cot
ton batting, and the leather is drawn
very tightly over the edges and tackled
to the under side of the top, care be-
ing taken to turn all corners neatly,
after which row of large-head brass
nails are driven at regular distances
around the edge for ornamentation
Any brass-head nail will do, but the
work will look better if the heads are
one-half to three-quarters inch in diam.
eter
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01


Irish soldiers, but guess they
wouldn't be there, cause they wouldn't
fight America.
Well, if England ever has a big war,
and she gets chesty about Gibraltar,
and says it is impregnable, and de-
fies the world to take it, / bet you ten
dollars it could be taken in "a hours.
Ii | was a general, or an admiral, /
would have about 40 tank steamers,
loaded with kerosene, and have them
land, innocent like, right up beside
Gibraltar, ostensibly to sell oil for
perfumery to the natives, who would
all be improved by using kerosene on
their persons. Then l would get on
a barrel, on deck of my flagship, and
command the English general to sur
render Internationally. and il he re-
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01

ferry across a little stream out west,
where there is no other way to cross,
except to wade or go around, and the
old ferryman sizes up the wagon load
that wants to cross, and takes all they
have got loose, and then the travellers are
ahead of the game, cause if they
didn't cross the stream they would
have to camp on the bank until the
stream dried up. Some day an earth
quake will split that desert wide open,
and the water in the Suez canal will
soak into the sand and the steam
boats will lay in the mud, and be COW
cred with a sandstorm, and future
ages will be discovering full-rigged
ships down deep on the desert Dad says
we better sell our stool. in the canal
and buy airship stock. And talk about
business, there is more tonnage goes
through the 500 canal, between Mich
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01

By HUN. GEOtS1E w. LIN
Ex-Governor of Wisconsin, Former Ed
itor of "Peck'S Sum-" Author or
Pecks Bad Boy" Etc)
Copyright, 1905, by Joseph B. Bowleso
Gibraltar, in Spain and England
My Dear Foster Uncle: 1t seems good
to get somewhere that you can hear
the English language spoken by the
Irish, and the English soldiers are
nearly all Irish. When you think of
the way the British government treats
the Irish, and then you look on while
an orderly sergeant calls the roll of a
company, and Sind that nine out of ten
answer to Irish names, and only one
out of ten has the cockney accent, you
feel that the Irish ought to rule Eng
land, and an O'Rourke or an O'Shan-
messy should take the place of King
Edward. 1t makes a boy who was
brought up in an Irish ward in Amer
lea feel like he was at home to mix
with British soldiers who come from
the old sod.
Dad says that there is never an
army anywhere in the world, except
the armies of Russia and Japan, that
the braveSt men are not answering to
Irish names, and always on the ad-
vance in a fight, or in the rear when
there is a retreat. Dad says that
in our own army and when the north and
south were fighting. the Irish boys
were the fellows who saved the day.
They wanted to fight nights and Sun
days, and never struck for an eight
hour day, or union wages. When the
fighting was over, and soldiers were
sick. or discouraged, and respondent,
an Irish soldier would come along,
maybe on crutches, or with bullet in
his innards. and tell funny stories and
make the discouraged fellows laugh in
spite of themselves, and when another
fight was on, you had to tie the wound
ed Irish soldiers to their cots in the
hospital, or put them in Jail, to keep
them from forgetting their wounds
and going to the front for one more
fight. Dad says if there was an Irish
nation, with an army and navy, the
whole world would have to combine to
whip them. and yet the nation that
has the control of the Irish people
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01

Hume, the historian, found himself
one day, at social dinner, next to Lord
John Russell. In the course of CONVEX
sation, his lordship said: What do you
consider this object of legislation"
''The greatest good to the greatest num-
ber," was Hume's answer "And what
do you consider the greatest NUMBER"
continued Lord John Russell Number
one, my lord" was the historians
prompt reply.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01

stool is made as high as II inches, the
square top should be IA by IA inches.
A working plan Of the frame of the
stool Gig. 79) is shown at A in Fig.
80, and a side view of the stool at B,
from which the sizes of the different
parts may be taken; also the construc-
on the top through the side and end
rails. In Fig. 81 greatly enlarged
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01

be varied at pleasure. The height is
often made Is inches and the top Il
by Is or % to "a by Ia inches.
To illustrate this we have reduced
Fig. Is to a convenient size for foot
stool, the height being 9 inches and
the top 16 by 10 inches. An end, and
also a side, view of this stool is shown
in Fig. II, and the working plans for
ends and stretcher are given in Fig. 70.
The construction is similar, except
that there is only one tenon on each
end of the stretcher. and one CORE
spending mortise through each of the
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01

except for the stretcher, which in this
case is 6 inches wide instead of 5
inches.
In Fig. IS will be found the working
plan for laying out the ends with their
mortises and openings, and also for the
stretcher with it's lemons.
AS in the former case (see Fig. IA
d. these lemons, with their correspond
ing mortises in the two ends, may be
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01

a top 16 inches long and II inches
wide. This style is severely plain, but,
if well made of oak or other fine
grained wood, the result will be very
satisfactory. The size given is in good
proportion. but may be changed at will
good heights being inches or II
inches, and the stool may be made
square, with top IL by II inches. If a
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01

inches wide, and have lemons on each
end of the same size as on the side
rails, but, unlike the side rails, they
are bored for only one screw in each
rail. The four legs are each 81 inches
long and 11sinches square. They must
in all cases be made perfectly square
on each end, after which the mortises
for the rail lemons are made, and last
of all, after all fitting is done, they are
tapered off to ~ inch at the lower end.
All the taper must be made on the two
insides Cor the mortised sides) of the
legs. The mortises must be "a inch
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01
YARNS, NEW AND OLD.

A Scotch Dominic, after telling his
scholars the story of Ananias and Sap
phira, asked them: ''Why does not God
strike everybody dead that tells lie?"
After a long silence one little fellow ex-
claimed: Because there wouldna be
nobody left"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01
Why Did She Cry?

''Why, Bessie, your eyes look as if
you'd been crying!"
$50 1 have been, mother"
where have you been, dear? To
funeral?"
mo; to wedding. '-Yonkers
Statesman
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01
Question of Nerves.

"Do you know good tonic for nerv-
Gus persons, Simpkins?"
mo; what want to find is good
tonic for people who have to live with
them."-Chicago Journal.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01

A newly arrived immigrant who had
seen the sign "Shoes repaired while you
wait" opened barber shop and put
card in his window which bore the le-
gend: "a good shave while you wait.
And the novelty of his announcement
really attracted customers. The wags
enjoyed jollying him, and he actually
builded better than he knew.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01

i.early In line with the theory of good
construction, but the contention is that
the latter is stronger and will give
more durable results, for, as will read
lily be seen, wedge in such position,
so near to the end of the tenon, can ex-
ert but slight force, and the entire con-
nection will soon become rickety and
loose.
The sizes for these tabourettes may
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01

view Of the leg and also of one Of the
rails is shown. The two side rails are
each 141a inches long and IL inches
wide.
A tenon q inch long and SIG inch in
thickness is made on each end, after
which two screw holes are bored in
each as indicated in Figs. 80 and 81.
These screw holes are first bored from
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01
A LESSON IN
MANUAL TRAINING
PRACTICAL POINTS FOR BOYS
WITH AMBITION AND
GENIUS.

How to Make a Tabourette in Modern
Mission Style"-Working Plans
for Same in Reduced Size as a
Footstool = Stock List - How to
Make a Footstool of Standard
Frame, with Stock List-Top Gov
ering for Footstools.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01
Threw Him Over.

Gertrude-What are you giving Hor.
tense for wedding present?
Babette-Why. erin giving hei
the groom.-Detroit Free Press.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01

deep and are stopped off " inch from
the upper end, as shown in Fig. 81,
which makes a stronger construction.
the leg not being so liable to split as il
mortised out to the upper end. The six
screws used are 11a-inch No. IL, and
before putting any part of the stool
together every piece belonging to it
must first be planed, scraped and sand
papered smooth. Indeed, this remark
applies to all work we have described,
or will describe in future articles No
pieces belonging to any article should
ever be assembled until after each in
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01

omitted If desired, the connection be-
ing made by means of two wood
screws, Pinch No. II, screwed into
each end of the stretcher, the heads of
which are countersunk and covered by
means of the wedges and wedge blocks,
used as ornaments only. Both these
methods of pointing are used for work
of this style, the former being more
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01

the lower edge of the rail with "
inch auger bit, to a depth of Binch,
and from that point the hole is contin-
ued through with A-inch bit. These
screw holes are to receive the screws
by which the top is fastened to the
frame, the larger hole taking the head
of the screw-all of which is plainly
shown in the. illustrations. The two
end rails are Sh inches long, IL
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01

FIG. 80.
dividual piece is first smoothed and
finished
The stock list for stool inches
high and having top 16 by II inches
is as follows
One piece, 16x12x& to 7s...................Top
Two pieces, 141aX1Ax Side rails
Two pieces, S1ax1a4 End rails
-Four pieces SAx112x1R Y. Legs
AS we have before advised in these
articles, this stool should first be made
of pine or other soft wood for practice.
California red wood works easily, and
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01
end pieces of the STOOL The stock list
for this stool is as follows:

IN Fig. 70 footstool of entirely diff
ferent construction is illustrated. In
this the standard frame, having four
legs and rails, is introduced, the size
shown being inches high and having
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01

IIUIUSy, OIIICdSU'J
Copyright, 1905, by Joseph B. Bowles)
In the tabourette described in our
last article we have the usual lines and
curves used in cabinet furniture, and
in Fig. Is we give design for one of
the same size in the modern mission
style. The stock list will be the same,
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01
The Bad Boy Describes Trip on the
Suez Canal-He Goes UP Through
Gibraltar in an Elevator-He Out
lines a Gigantic Plan for the Cap
ture of the British Fortress.

BY HON. GEORGE W. PECK.
Ex-Governor of Wisconsin, Former Ed
itor of "Peck's SUM-" Author of
Pecks Bad Boy" Etc.)
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-09-01
BY JAMES RICHIE.

Instructor in Woodworking and Pattern
making, Armour Institute of Tech
nology Chicago.)
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-06-03

Treasurer-John Swanson.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-06-03
PERSONAL POINTS.

Mrs. E. E. Abbott and daughters, of
Clinton are visiting relatives in the
city.
Hon. George a. Cooke of Aledo was
in the city last evening enroute to
Chicago.
r. NJ. Love of Carload, ~ M. is in
Rock Island today. guest at the home
of r. W. Olmsted
Miss May Ferguson has returned
from New York after visit with her
sister, Mrs. L. T. Leary.
Mr.. and Mrs Ed Strasser of New
York, have returned home. They were
here to attend the Barnet-Kohn nup-
tials
Mrs. Henry S. Paulsen of 1924 Four
teenth-and-a-half street left this morn
ing for a two weeks visit to Kewa-
nee, Ill.
Henry Gaetbje left this morning for
a trip abroad. At New York he takes
steamer for Europe June S, and will
be absent about four months.
Mr.. and Mrs. Lucius J. Barnet, &C.
companied by the groom's brother. S.
| Barnet, and sister. Miss Barnet, de
parted this noon for their new home
at Rochester, n. Y.
Arthur Wheeler, son of Capt. L. l..
| Wheeler, who has been identified with
the construction of the Hennepin can
al, has received an appointment with
the government engineering corps at
Manila, =. ].
Mrs. Ida Barker departs tomorrow
evening for Topeka, Kans., where she
will attend the national meeting of the
Royal Neighbors of America She will
| Join the Chicago and Peoria delega
tons, which pass through Rock Island
tomorrow evening at 1910 o'clock.
| DR.. Hada Burkhart, of Rock Island
| Mrs Johnson of Clinton, Iowa, anC
| Mrs Stouffer of Moline. join the Wis
consin and Michigan delegations to the
national r. n. A. meeting at Topeka
Kans., which passes through Rock Isl
and this evening at 10:40 O'Clock or
the Rock Island.
| William KlOckau and son Otto. de
| parted this morning for New York
where they will take the steamer Caro-
MIA for Liverpool June 13. They viii
remain in Europe during the summer
and will visit the principal cities anC
countries Enroute to New York they
will spend a few days in Chicago ant
at Niagara Falls.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-06-03

pose is to get the drain for the city
without paying for it at all, then of
course it will not be considered. 1 re-
specially submit that the city of Rock
Island cannot afford to be other than
fair and just. and to take and use for
municipal purposes for nine years a
drain built for the city with my money,
and then refuse to pay me a cent is
neither fair nor just.
Any further communication you de-
sire to make to me you may make to
my attorneys. MessrS- Haas and Weld,
who are fully authorized to represent
me in this matter.
Respectfully submitted,
MATTHIAS SCHNELL.
Contractors Accept Mayors Proposition.
Speaking of the developments in the
case, City Attorney Olsen said last
evening: Il am not anxious to i'm
pugn the motives of anyone. nor am |
prepared to say that the course that
the mayor has adopted single handed
in this matter, will be of any effect, in
asmuch as the council has not concur
red. But this much l do know, that IL
will raise complications that might
otherwise have been avoided. The re-
ply of the contractors dove-tails very
nicely with the document that was sent
to them. That is all l have to say
now
Nothing TO Say.
When seen this morning, Mayor Nc
Caskrin said: Il have nothing to say
with reference to this communication.
l received it only yesterday, and 1 pre-
fer that it shall take its course through
the council. to which it will be submit
ted Monday evening"