Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1905-12-09
- Ss'AsHES
- r
vnevaM@SS>@ i Wy

I'm / TIC tightly STh I'VE beyOuu
their income?" Dear newly, they
live beyond the income they wish they
had."-Idfe
Teacher--Johnny, what happeAed on
July ! one hundred and thirty years
agoE JOHNNY dunno, ma'am.
amt but ten.--Cleveland Leader.
Teacher Can you tell me the differ
ence between like" and ''Iove?" Small
Boy Yes, ma'am l Ike my father
and mother, but love pie.-Ram's
Horn.
( Old Lady How can you use eGch
shocking language? Old Woman
Beg pardon. mum, but he very deaf,
and | cawnt rightly ear wot says.
Punch.
Hewitt--Why did You cut that fell
low who just bowed TO your Jewet--I
was getting back at him; he perform
ed an operation on me n while ago
Town Topics,
What" asked Miss Eldcrleigh, did
papa say when you asked him for
met' He didn't say anything. He
Fell on my neck and wept. Chicago
Record Herald.
You are always having more or
less trodble. aren't your said the sym
pathetic friend. You are mistaken.
answered the Gar, with hauteur; I'VE
never have less. Washington Star
kind lady" remarked the weary
way farer, "can you oblige me with
something to eat2' Go to the wood.
shed and take few chops" replied
yhe Kind lady Philadelphia Record.
Mrs DE Fashion mt children's
aartyl Marie, Nurse Girl RI Yes
ma'am. Mrs. De rashion-It's time
for MS to 20 home Which of these
children is mJnef New York Weekly
sthcl to her friend in spectaclesl r.
And what Is TO be your profession,
Mary? Mary -Oh. I'm going TO be Il
tragic poetess Ethel--But, my dear
that's not a profession. It's a disease.
F wife wcading Here's an account
of man who left home one evening
after Supper six months ago TO get
shaved. aud he hasn't been seen STAGE
Husband Huh! | suppose he is stu
waiting for his turn.
Il see that letter supposed to have
been written by Henry VII. has just
brought $1,000" That's nothing \
letter of mine just brought $1,000. >
.lndecdf" Yes, to ::iti who sued
me for breach of promise.
what do you mean by writing
Among the preuicst girls at the dance
was Captain Andrews The captain
* n man" Yes, but ne spent most
of his time among the 7rettiest girls
there. Philadelphia Telegraph,
tYou are owned by the trusts, body
and soul" howled the foreign manu-
racturer. "and yet you call yourself
free American" Not me- calmly
answered the Congressman. Il come
high. II anybody asks You. Ledger
see what got" cried Bobby, n
citv-bred boy, az he came running
from chicken coop, holding IN his
hand china egg. "Oh, go put 1t
back exclaimed Mabel. his 6year'
old sister. that's the egg the hen
measures by."-Judge.
1T seems to me- exclaimed Aunt
Rachel, you two are always quar-
rellng when come in" 'On the con
trary. ma'am," vociferated the mascu-
| line end OF the domestic controversy,
! you always happen in when were
auarrelingr Chicago Tribune.
Little Clarence Paw uh. Mr.. Cal
hpers Well, my SOM Little Clarence
Paw when doctor Is sick and calls
I'm another doctor TO doctor him, Is the
doctor doctorvd the way he wants to
be doctored or does the doctor doctor
him Just as ne thinks he ought to be
doctored?
Teacher Now. why. surprising you
accidentally stood on eeutleman's
foot, what would you say? WHY
would say, Beg pardon IF tho
gentleman gave you fyc cents For
being polite, what would you do
Il would stand on the other, and say.
Beg pardon.
tee whlz"' said George for the
twentieth time, 1T makes me mad ev-
cry time / think Of tho ten dollars I
lost today ! actually feel az IL Id
Ike 10 have somebody kick me" by
the way. George" said the dear girl.
drcamiIy. don't you think you'd bet
Ter speak TO father this evening"
Clipped.
The Merchant ito applicant Where
dld you work Iastf The Office Boy
Fer de Gotham Life Insurance Comp.
ny. The Nvrchan, How'd you come
"a anltt The Office boy one day Dc
president pattcd me on dc head an
advised me ter be honest an never
tel, Iie. an snorted right ont in