New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-09-28
THE TALK Of THE DAY.

The story of the Texas farmer who. when asked
by the minister performing his wedding ceremony.
DO you take this woman etc. replied ''Them's
the calculations reminds Englishman of
similar occurrence in one of the eastern counties
of England. The clergyman had reached the same
part of the service, and the bridegroom replied.
Why bless zee, sir, ere a-puppus."
The AItruist at Home-The following testi-
monial reaches US from a Colonial paper: My
wife was all twisted out of shape with facial
relieve. BY the persistent use of Dr. IS -
Food have been entirely cured and have re- re-
in weight, and feel that l have a new lease of
Hfe."-(Punch.
The Rev. Mr.. Thompson of Pittsburg. tells
story illustrating the Unborn trait for quick
wit. He preaching in a Michigan town. On
Saturday the women of the congregation were busy
trimming up the church. Il strolled in" says the
Rev Mr.. Thompson and Katie Martin deco
rating the pulpit. 1 noticed tacks strewn
about the floor and jOCularly advised Katie to be
very careful to pick up all the tacks when she was
through with her work. You know Katie I said
that If should step of those tacks right in
the middle of the sermon there is no telling what
might happen Faith, ye wouldn't Inger long on
that point, said Katie, without cracking a smile"
An Awful Prospect!-The small boy, very excited
recently taking an absorbing interest In one
OF the league matches. " hen the home scored
fair to crack the ear drums of the crowd round
we ""h he escamed Rf If
just 3Se on sof the 20 vofs these and the
ended in a draw The boys face a picture of
o.. Cheer up sonny said of the. spectators
49, 1sS@ Is Pef!er n Lnan do SIN anyway
if you ad one legged pair of breaches staring You
ANSWERS
There is such thing carrying fad too far
rj~Ja'
instance. is all very we'll from the point of view
of our Western civilization, but it is conceivable
that there places the earths surface where
the simple lifer would be de trop, as it were YET
of these faddists. being asked to subscribe
toward sending out missionary one of the
cannbal islands of the Pacific. is reported to have
answered. in the most discouragng manner, Ger
tainly not. 1 am vegetarian"
THE UNMENTIONABLE
GEnstsh anatomy ends with the diaphragm, The
polite society- (Frankfurter zeitunsI '''''O'e IN
When rich =. with peel sI. and plum. cake
Because 1t gives me st
No. reader. I'll not say why.
II | should give palmer hint
You'd faint to see it in cold print
Though oft I suffer agonies.
Yet. when mention where, I trow
Is rarer than a dragon is,
For I'm IId well ma inner d. you must know
To hear me name my little t.
If I'm heard intimat!ng It
Holds that which with it disagrses
Though subtly indicating II
BY elegant perphrases,
How general, how sad to view,
Is conscious modesty shocked hue
Dire were the improperly
OF naming what unnamed must rest.
Lest Mortified society
Should learn what lies below my chest
Enough for to be aware
That after all you know It's there.
-(Fall Mall Gazette.
The kite, according to pathological authorities
is declared be extinct. and 1t practically SO
But vigilance committee has nevertheless been
formed in Wales for the protection of the bird A
photographer recently traced one of the only pair
of kites known TO exist in South Wales to a cave
in the mountains and with a lucky snapshot Sc
cured a photograph. The home of the pair is being
kept a secret.
SONNET TO EQUITY FRIEND.
Dear drinker OF all sorts and kinds OF brew.
Smoker OF weeds inuumerable and good;
Inhaling cigarettes as hourly food
That cen thy lungs may have perpetual booze:
Seeker afar. all equity things to choose
All potables with rheumatic imbued.
All edibles that most should be eschewed-
To visit thee, how could King Gout refuse
Thou art the Court OF Honor OF this King
All acid things in thee at the food.
And through thy joints do percolate and sting.
Beware lest advertisements OF thy blood
Reach 10 thy upon artertal wing
And blszon to the world thy serVftude.