Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1905-08-12
A MONUMENT TO ADAM.
Started as - Joke. Twain's scheme
Barely Missed Retaliation.

barely Missed Retaliation.
Some one has revealed to the Tribune
that ! once suggested TO the Rev.
Thomas X. Beccher of Elmira. \. y.
that we get up a monument TO Adam
and that Mr. Beechcr favored the prof
ect. There IL more To II than that.
The matter started as joke. hut Il
came somewhat near TO Undertaking..
II Is long ago thirty years. Mr.. Oar
wins Descent of Man" had been In
print i've or six years. and the storm
OF Indignation raised by II was still
raging In pulpits and periodicals. In
tracing the genesis of the human race
back to its sources MIR. Darwin had
left Adam out altogether. We had
monkeys and missing links AMI
plenty Of other kinds of ancestors. but
no Adam. Testing with Mr. Bcecher
and other friends In Elmira. | said
there seemed to be likelihood that
the world would discard Adam and
accept the monkey and that in the
course OF time Adams very name
would be forgotten in the earth: there
IOEt tilS tuidullis VukHN w w ANtttNA.
A monument would accomplish this.
and Elmira ought not to waste this
honorable opportunity to do Adam a
favor and herself credit.
Then the unexpected happened. Two
bankers came forward and took hold
OF the matter-not for fun, not for
sentiment. but because they saw in the
taf I'M rRirl uI 4 A NJ
tages for the town. The project had
seemed gently humorous before. II
was more than that now. with this
stern business gravity injected into II.
The bankers discussed the monument
with me. We met several times. They
proposed an indestructible memorial.
to cost $4,000. The insane oddly Of
a monument set up in village to pre-
serve a name that would outlast the
hills and the rocks without any such
help would advertise Elmira to the
ends OF the earth-and draw custom.
II would be the only monument on the
planet to Adam and In the matter Of
interest and impressiveness could
never have rival until somebody
should set up a monument to the Milky
Way.
People would come from every cor
nsr Of the globe and stop of to look at
II; no tour of the world would be com
plete that left out Adams monument.
Elmira would be Mecca. There
would be pilgrim ships. at pilgrim
rates: pilgrim specials ON the CONT
nent's railways. libraries would be
written about the monument. every
tourist would kodak II. models OF 1t
would he for sale everywhere on the
earth. and its form would become AZ
familiar as the figure of Napoleon.
One OF the bankers subscribed $1,000.
and I think the other one subscribed
half as much. but do not remember
with certainty now whether that was
the figure or not. We got designs
made. Some OF them came from
Paris.
In the beginning-as detail of the
project when II was as yet Il joke-I
had framed a humble and beseeching
and perfervid petition TO congress
begging the government to build the
monument as testimony of the great
republics gratitude to the father OF
the human race and as token Of her
loyalty TO him in this dark day Of his
humiliation when his older children
We're doubling him and deserving him.
II seemed to me that this petition
ought to be presented now. II would
BE- widely and feelingly abused and
ridiculed and cursed and would adj
vertlse our scheme and make our
ground floor stock go OFF briskly. So
sent II TO General Joseph r. Hawley.
who was then in the house. and he
said he would present il. But he did
not do H. think he explained that
when he came to read II he was afraid
Of It. II was too serious. too gushy.
too sentimental-the house might take
II for earnest.
We ought TO have carried out our
monument scheme. We could have
managed II without any great diff
Guilty. and Elmira would now be the
most celebrated town in the universe
Mark Twain In Harper's Weekly.