Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1905-09-22
DRIFTWOOD

ridi T'illiN w Wherever my rent is pau
Piece washed MP by the tide hnomed sawed,
spin aud piled Tor the pcru-a and ps>Iime of
paid H. subscribers, also for those who beg, Dor
row aud steal the STANDAHD in order that they
may rujoy little -ur-lluc as they journey
hTou-h tilih vale of tears.
Japan crucitied Russia with good
ness and magnanimlty.
BARRIERS always say Next" but
the customer is generally last"
Every man thinks he is the best
friend some other fellow ever had.
Chicago may be a city Of big feet,
but it has pocket-books to correspond.
Many OF the L" little brown men,
do not think his sayings at Portsmouth
| Witte.
Many people keep a Bible for an
ornament, just like they do Indian
curios.
About the only advantage OF being
sick is that you feel much better when
you get over it.
The 10 cent watermelon acts as
powerful magnet to the fellow who
has only a nickel.
For WAYS that are "child like and
bland" the members of most union
organizations are peculiar.
No use talking, women are certainly
taking the place of men-in the Or
chestra, at the Seattle Theater.
The reason man feels so rich when
he's riding in rented automobile is
because he hasn't paid the driver.
Some men smoke "three for half"
on trust, that couldn't smoke q Scent
corncob pipe if they had to pay cash.
1t is to be hoped that the eight.year-
old bartender in southeast Seattle is
not a member Of the bartenders' union.
Fall styles, for women, have arrived.
In store windows are displayed,
Five days poor hubby is "goo-yooed,"
Saturday night he's robbed-waylaid.
So many years, so many trains, so
many friends to greet him, and yet
Col. Will Visscher doesn't visit Puget
Sound.
M. W., Vancouver, B. C.-No, Ben
jamin Disraeli was not the man who
invented primroses. Don't mention
it; you are welcome.
Newspapers are great blessings.
They prevent many a man from see-
ing q woman with babe-in arms, stand.
ing up in a street car.
The Sultan of Zulu probably under.
stands, ere now, how hundreds OF other
men felt when they got the mitten"
from one whom they adored.
Hyas, bundle money,
Tenas, common sense,
Cultus, swell seaside hotel,
Tepee, you bet-immense.
Amongst their own kind, members
of organized labor unions, quarrel,
backbite. and are as jealous of one
another's individuality, as doctors
wives.
1t is claimed that glass blowers &C.
casionally 60 blind from their work.
It's common thing among adherents
OF the fascinating game OF poker, while
at play.
Strikes are bad, very bad, for the
individual, worse for the public. The
outcome OF strikes, as a rule, have
been that OF starvation. misery, fail
ure, riot and-murder.
"When actors are unanimous" says
one of Sheridan's characters, "their
unanimity is wonderful" Too bad
the same thing cannot be said of men,
bers OF organized labor.
A sightseeing Kansan visiting the
huge steamship Dakota remarked that
the builders overlooked one important
thing. When asked what it was, he
replied: "Storm cellar"
With all the "talk" about Mt.
Rainier, it never "puffs" nor "smokes
up" but stands faithful to its duty, as
one OF the scenic points OF the ever
green State of Washington.
1t is fortunate, indeed, for some
specimens OF Adam, that mans Ca
pacity to win, and retain, . woman's
love is by no means necessarily do.
pendent on his moral qualities.
Hear ye! Washington sons!
Here's jolly 60,
Keep your eye on PascO."
watch Tacoma grow"
Look out for Wenatchee,
Wharo Io11oro .vroxu ~, traac ~
Here's the best of wishes
To the hustling crowd OF threes.
The Mayor of Pendleton, Ogn.,
insists on closing all gambling in his
town, then hies away TO Portland. and
is himself arrested while in the act of
playing poker. Consistency, thou
art q jewell"
A dish. washing machine capable OF
washing two hundred diehes in five
minutes is now in the market. One
special advantage OF the machine IL
that it does not lose any time talking
at the back door with the delivery
man.
There is the A. B. c., and the B. B.
B. beer, and no telling how many more
brands that are using up the alphabet
fast. Prohibitionists and followers OF
the white ribbon should make note of
this. If the liquor traffic is not
fought to standstill, soon there'll be
no characters to use when one wishes
to write home for money. It's horri.
BILE to contemplate.
She lies, helpless, careened, half-over,
By beautiful Willamette's" bank,
She appears beautiful sign-board,
To the Eastern business crank.
Portland ought shroud her over,
And get her out of sight
For the steamer George w. Elder"
Looks 30-cent channel fright.
She Gas her sweetheart is about to
start on q journey round the WORLDLY:
"My dear Harold. will you be true
to me when you are far away? Prom.