Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1905-10-11
A DAYS SPORT.


you going to do with that gum de-
manded Ma, in ife-sized voice, as the
lord and master of the Jones family
started across Cousin He's farmyard
with an old army musket thrown over
his shoulder. do you want to kill your
self? Do you want to blow off that old
bald head of yours? Dc YOU
''What do you suppose [ am going to
do with it, madame? What do you sup
pose [ am going to do with it - broke
in Pa, haughtily. 'What would any man
do with gun? What are guns made
for? Did you think [ was going fishing
with it? Did you imagine for one mo-
ment that | was going to shoot the chutes
with it? You ask more silly questions
than a census enumeration! You waste
more words than a monograph! You
act more like Smith every day of your
life!"
That's all right, you old sinner!" re-
Joined Ma, with some heat, "but just
you take that gun back in the house!
Who ever told you that you were Ted
dy Roosevelt? What license have you
got to carry around gun when you can't
shoot a firecracker without burning your
fingers? Where did you-"
Say, woman!" barked Pa, ''you make
me sick! You make me madi You make
me hot in the collar! Do you think am
a kid? Do you think [ am a Smith
Don't you think [ know anything?
Haven't [ read chapter in the encyclo-
paedia every day for ten years? Didn't
use to hang around a shooting gallery ?
Haven't [ followed every move of the
Japanese war? Go climb a tree, dear
soul! You are in the past tense class!
Your Uncle Henry is going out to bag
few blackbirds!"
you silly old chump!" cried the ex-
asperated Ma. 1T would serve you Just
right if you did shoot yourself! 1t might
take some of the conceit out of you!
Cousin Hez, are you going to let that
meddlesome old freak shoot blackbirds 2"
He won't hurt 'em none, Mary" an
swered Cousin Hez, soothingly, as he APP
preached the scrapful pair
Suppose he should kill himself?" cried
Ma, angrily. II don't want to ride home
in a day, coach and have him in bag
gage car! want him where [ can watch
him.
Il wouldn't worry bout thet, Mary"
returned Cousin Hez, reassuringlv.
Coin gunnin' amt half as dangerous
as talkin' politics, an tibet ole musket
is kind an gentle in single or double
harness, jes so yer don't overload it."
What do you think [ had better put
in, Cousin Hez?" asked Pa Il meant
to ask you, but forgot it,
"Waal, if [ was you, [ wouldn't put
in more than three or four fingers re-
piled Cousin Hez. Guess it'll stand
four"
'Three or four fngers!" interrupted
Ma, excitedly. ''Who ever heard of such
a thing? The simpleton may just as
well shoot off his head as his whole
hand!"
"You are the limit, Smithy! You are
the limit" giggled Pa while Cousin
Hez bit off a chew of tobacco to hide Il
copious grin. THAT catalogues you all
right! That shows what you know
about the cunning game! You measure
charge in a gun by placing the fingers
against the protruding ramrod Mrs.
Jones, just the same as you measure a
swig of coming through the rye in a
whisky glass;"
''Indeed!" was the sarcastic reioinder
of Ma. 'Then it is a cinch, Mr.. Heath
en-, that you will absent -mindedly over
load that gum"
chats right, woman! That's right,
dear SOUL" barked Pa, with some agi-
tation. Keep it up! Keep on jabbing
me with a harpoon, and then wonder
why [ don't love your dear mother and
kiss little Fido!"
With this Pa Jones ma iestically strobe
forth, hoped a rail fence. and was soon
lost in the depths of waving cornfeld.
Hardly had the old man returned, that
evening, and started to boastingly re-
cite the incidents of the trip, before a
yapful individual with abundant whisk-
ers and tin badge to match approached
with the remark:
"Is this yere Henry Jones ?''
1t gives me great pleasure. sir, to
say that it is" replied Pa, patting him
self on the chest.
well, Pm Their game warden for this
yere county," returned the other, proud
ly, IAN [ hereby arrest yer accordin' to
Their constitution of Their United States,
Their Declaration of Independence, an
Their statuettes of New Jersey!"
whats that? What's that ?" shouted
Pa. Whats the specific charge against
me? What have [ been doing? Re
member, [ will carry this case to the
supreme COURT"
"Ther charge agin is shootin' a robin
in Their cornfieid of Hez Jones.'' was the
reply of the game warden
"You are mistaken, sir! You are mis-
taken!'' exclaimed Pa, Indignantly Il
never shot at a robin''
Il know yer didn't" admitted the
game warden, with a grim smile, ''but
yer hit one Jes Their same. Will yer go
with me peaceable like, CT"
"Thet's all right, Josh! Thet's ali
right interposed Cousin Hez ''I've got
ter go ter the store termorrow ter git
some paris green, an me an Hen will
met yer at Their 'squire's. Now, then,
forgit it, and let's cider up
Didn't | tell you so, YOU old crow?
Didn't [ tell you so?" cried Ma, as soon
as Hez and the game warden disap-
peared in the wagon house. Maybe you
will listen to what [ say the next time!"
A