davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.

From the Philadelphia Record.1
Where ignorance is bliss, it's folly to
have eyes.
The automobile is at its best when
it is tired.
A girls heart isn't in the right place
If she wears it on her sleeve.
It is equally true that no woman is
q heroine to her dressmaker.
If dreams came true the sale of
chafing dishes would soon fall on.
A clock will run down, even in sum-
mer. but the thermometers run up
Give the average woman a button
and she will want q dress to match 1t.
The fellow who comes out on top is
the one who gets to the bottom OF
things.
Even the man who believes in call
call a ship a-hoy.
Wigg-''For some reason or other
BJones is sore on himself" Wagg-
well. Bjones generally has good Judg-
ment"
Hoax-''Who was it said that dis
lance lends enchantment to the view? %
Some fellow who was evidently
away OF"
1--WE are selling ten times as many
of these gloves as any other" re-
marked the clerk. ssBut they are not
nearly as good as some others" ex-
postulated the lady customer. THAT
may be true" replied the clerk. but
these are marked two sizes smaller
than they really ara
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07
THE WATERWoRKs PROBLEM.


After years of endeavor Topeka has
come into possession of its waterworks
system, and the people now own it.
The next problem to be solved is how
best to operate it
No sane person who has the inter
ests of the people at heart will for a
moment contend that politics should
have anything to do with the manage
ment. but there may be those with
axes to grind who are unwilling that
the management should be put beyond
the reach of those with political pull
That is just where the danger lies:
That persons with a pull. incompetents
and those lacking a proper degree of
integrity, may control.
For this reason the business men of
Topeka and the property owners gen
orally believe that the management Of
the water system should be placed in
the hands of q. commission. one made
up of intelligent, honest, business men.
The way is provided to do this imme-
diately, yet there seems to be a dis
position on the part of some of the
councilnen to delay this matter. 1t is
doubtless a source of pride and of pow
er to some councilmen to retain con-
troll of the plant, but if they have the
welfare of the city at heart, they will
turn the plant over to a business COM
mission for management.
It cannot be denied that a good
commission of three or five men, mer
who are well informed in the matter
of handling such enterprises and who
are in a position to still further study
the problems involved. can do far bet
ter than if the entire city council at
tempts to run the plant. The measure
of success of municipal ownership de
ponds upon the ability and integrit!
of those at the head of the manage
ment, and the very best men in tn,
city ought to be secured to take chargt
/ of the work
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07
The Making Of Maps.

Large map-making firms have geogra-
phical libraries collected from every
source and i'll every language. The
modest sketch map of the missionary in
some wild region is as highly valued as
the most complete survey map. In MAX
ing a new map of any important region
the compilations made by others are
hardly ever touched. Representatives
are sent out and every detail is taken
from its original source. These repre-
sentatives are paid enormous salaries.
They are never rushed, but are allowed
to take as long over their work as they
think it necessitates.
The cost of producing a map of the
world would be enormous; each govern
ment would have to share the expense.
The time taken would also be very great.
There are at present no ordnance maps
Of South America, nor of large portions
of Asia. Even were a united interna-
tional effort made it would be many
years before the work could be COM
pleted. Different methods would have
to be employed in different countries
St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07
POINTED PARAGRAPHS
[From the Chicago News.l

LFrom the Chicago News.1
Even a miser will give you advice
freely.
Never judge the covers Of q box by
its contents.
A spoiled child Is to be pitied more
than its parents.
Some men are born great and be-
come little of their own accord.
When a man keeps his own counsel
he hasn't much use for lawyer.
II haste makes waste district mes
senger boys will never come to want
Frequently chorus girls success
depends upon her understanding.
Talk is, said to be cheap. but any
married man VIII tell you 1t comes
high.
When a man seeks notoriety he
usually finds more than he can use in
his business.
Nearly every married woman has
figured out what she will do when sh =
becomes q widow.
An Ohio man has discovered a pro-
cess for making ffteen-year-oId
whisky in fifteen minutes.
In order to win success a man must
be in a position to grasp opportunity
bv the back Of the neck.
A man has his favorite doctor and a
woman her favorite preacher but who
ever heard Of any one having & favor
ite dentist?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07
Do1nestic Tragedv.

They were all to have a Sunday night
supper at a friends house, and even
the boarding mistress was invited; SO
the girl got an extra Sunday night out
and the household split up into parties
for the afternoon.
By twos and threes they arrived at
the hosts home until there were left
only the boarding mistress and the hus-
band of the woman who had engineered
the party. There was a quarter hour
wait, and at last the husband stroued
in.
Miss Blank says she can't come" he
announced, as he shifted the odor Of
the old fashioned shortcake. Il guess
she must have another of her sick head
aches, for she seems to have gone to
bed; just poked her head out Of the
doorway and said she was sorry"
Late that evening the other woman
took home a generous slice of shortcake
and found the absent one sitting, dis
consulate, in the parlor.
thought you were ill?" she cried.
VIII said you had gone to bed
My dear" sobbed the boarding mis-
tress, "all my dresses button up the
back, and when started to get ready
the. only person in the place was your
husband. I couldn't very we'll ask him,
could I?''
And the only comfort she received
was; Why not? I've trained him to
do it beautifully. New York Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07

Senator Dubois, of Idaho, tells of the
case of a miner in that state who had
been reported as dead by a number of
the Idaho newspapers.
It would appear that the miner had a
keen sense of humor, for with refer
ence to an obituary of himself which
appeared in a Boise City paper the al
legged dead man addressed the editor
with a view to correcting certain mis-
statements in the sale obituary.
My dear sir" wrote he, relative to
the obituary of myself appearing in
your issue of the 22d ult., I beg leave to
call your attention to several errors
therein. In the first place. I was born
in Massachusetts, not in Rhode Island ;
secondly, my retirement from the liquor
business in the year 1899 was not due
to i'll health, but to the fact that I was
unable to secure a renewal of my license
and thirdly, the cause of my death was
not heart disease. ''-CoIlier's
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07

In Miss Isabella Noore's Just pub
hshed Talks in Library with Lau-
renee Hutton" the genial Iitterateur
whose friendships with literary men,
artists and actors worth knowing were
so many and intimate, are numerous
amusing skits quite new; among them
this about the naming of Frank Mil
let's baby in London when Hutton and
Lawrence Barrett were present:
The child was to be named Lawrence,
and when the parish clerk asked what
it was to be, Barrett spelled it out for
him, Lawrence" as his name was
spelled. Hutton Immediately corrected
him with Laurence as his own name
is spelled. And they shouted this at
each other, to the amazement of the
poor little official, till Mr.. NIiIlet stop
ped them with the remark that the
father ought to have something to say,
and, turning to the clerk, said: spell
him with "" and Lawrence AIillet
he is by law.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07

Simeon Ford says that he once had
in his employ as hotel clerk, young
man from Boston whose extreme
fondness for precision of speech led to
his discharge. He was too exact for
the average patron; in fact. he speed
lily became so unpopular that his dis
nissal was imperative.
One evening, says Mr.. Ford, weary
and travel stained man ambled up to
the desk where the Hubbite was pre-
siding and said:
Give me a room and bath"
Sorry, sir responded the Boston
ian, f'but can't give you both; you'll
have to battle yourself. New York
Times
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07
JOURNAL ENTRIES

For some strange reason the seVenth
district has not yet brought out q can
didate for the presidency OF the Equ L.I-
able. What's the matter With franz
Grimes?
A boy can never understand why II
is as necessary to keep his ears clean
in winter when the water IS ice colo'
as in summer when he can go SWIM
min.
'I am getting so I dread to have
Sunday come" said Deacon TWogood
today. MY wife and the children in
sist on having the Jokes in the comic
supplements pointed out to them
Mr. Hyde continues to be a little
slow in asking the conductor for his
transfer.
For a man who resigned. W. R.
Bigham is working mighty hard to get
his job back.
The reports from washington indi-
cate that Charlie Curtis earned his
salary yesterday, or at least he went
through the motions.
The calendar in Russia will reach
Ascension day Thursday. In Russia
the Fourth of July comes along in the
middle of August. That may be one
reason why the Russians are a little
slow in catching on.
A California man fell fifteen hun
dred feet while climbing the almost
perpendicular face of Ell Captain for
amusement. That is one form of
amusement which we positively refuse
to indulge in.
The beef trust is to be arrested. But
hold on, don't go to rejoicing too soon.
This doesn't mean that the advance in
the price of beef is to be arrested.
Speaking of being busy, the ham
mock is putting in sixteen hours day
just at present.
After being thoroughly demoralized
and completely ruined a number of
times by the wheat belt correspond
ents, the Kansas wheat crop, as usual
is in good shape.
The Stahl picnic will be held on
June p. Fritz Durein will not at
tend. Circumstances over which they
other jointists who are in the county
jail from attending.
The chapters in the Standard Oils
serial against the state oil refinery, as
running in the Kansas City Journal,
are becoming longer. In chronicling
the thrilling events in connection with
the arguments in the supreme court,
the Journal devotes two inches to
Messrs. Coleman, Porter and Gault,
and two columns to James Willis
Gleed.
The. coyote crop continues excellent
| in Shawnee county. The coyote farm
ers on Cross creek harvested ffty-four
Ie7 fT1s n Of Eaxr
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07
JAYHA WKER JOTS
he minor bail teams Of Parsons are

The minor ball teams of Parsons are
known as the Pig Pen League.
The jokesmith of the Salina Union
refers to the complicated litigation of
Brodie L. Duke as another case of
Dukes Mixture.
A Burlington man has solved the
problem of making silk worms pay in
Kansas. He has a thousand at work
and he charges an admission of ten
cents to see them.
Commenting on Japan's intention to
erect an enormous lighthouse in honor
of Togo, Henry Allen supposes that
Russia will erect a Snuffed candle in
honor of ROjestvensky.
An Ottawa family takes no daily pa
per. and it heard Of the war in the
east for the first time sunday. Think
what a lot of fun it has missed re-
jotcing over Togo's victory.
Walter johnson calls attention to
the fact that Senator Burton scored
two triumQhs last week: He had 5000
people to hear his address at Beloit,
and he got his trial postponed at st.
Louis.
A salina merchant was arrested
Sunday for selling goods on the Sab
bath day. and he turned it into such
neat advertisement that people are
suspectng that he had it done on pur-
pose.
There is this about that Hutchin-
son mans plan to pave with cotton
WOOu DAOCkS- w AEll the paving SGto
to growing we'll it can be extended all
over town without buying more ma
terial
They have new way of collecting
the dog tax in. Arkansas City. The
! city council has turned the job over to
/ the women with the understanding
| that the proceeds will be used for Tx
! ing up the park.
The editor of the Lansing News has
to be exceedingly careful in chron-
i icing arrivals in that town to get the
exact social and legal status CT the
/ persons correct. Those who are al
lowed to run at large do not like to
have it appear that they were accom-
! panied by sheriff.
The deadly target rifle scored again
in Saline county this week. Ihe VIC
tim was Florence Price. the seventeen
| year-oId daughter of farmer. She
and a young boy from town were
| shooting at a mark, and the target
rife was accidentally discharged when
it was in the hands of the boy. The
girl was shot through the jaw and
neck, and lived only a short time after
wards.
VIII Palmer, of the Jewell Repub-
lican, pays this compliment to S. H
Dodge of the Beloit Gazette: There
are a lot of bright fellows around the
Beloit Gazette office, but you can al
ways tell by a glance at the paper
whether the old man himself is al
: home or not. Dodge has plain, Wig
orous way of stating his views, and he
doesn't seem to give darn whether
they please anybody else or not Blu
: isn't Palmer using pretty language fol
a good Methodist?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07
Making a. Hog LAUGH

By far the most interesting Feature
of the beef trusts secret code is fhe
item which relates to rebates. which
shows, that, whatever sin the trust
NAV have committed, it could not be
charged with lacking humor.
The signal word for rebates is
esle13ghsome. It is appropriate and
s11errestive. What should a trust do but
Iaugh some at rebates? Rebates
would make even a hog laugh. Laugh
and grow fat-that's what a trust
does. And what makes it laugh so and
grow so fat? Rebates largely.-St.
Louis Republic.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07
TIE REVTsED PRICE IIsT.

When the protected manufacturer dis
covered that Secretary Taft and Presi-
dent Roosevelt were determined to buy
the Panama supplies where they could
be bought cheapest all things consider
ed, they very quickly produced the re-
vised list, the one they use when deal
ing with the foreigner, and confessed
to a willingness to do business on that
basis. It is not likely. that the people of
this country viii long submit to one
scale of prices for this market and a.
lower one for use across the water
Salina Union.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07

The japanese admit that Rojestven-
sky's strategy would have been splen-
did if he had not been taken by sur
b himself -- properly perl informed. and had ar
ranged his line of battle more slkill-
fully, ana had not permitted himself
to be put at a DISADVANTAGE With re-
spect to the sunlight ana lne VINO al II
snlendid trib,Ite 70 the genius of the
foe.-Chicago Record-Herald-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07

The suspension Of the Emporia Re-
publican is another proof that a policy
Of bitterness and unjust abuse will not
win with the public. During the last
few months the Republican has been ia
ken up largely with abuse Of the editor
Of its more successful is hardly
the word, for the Republican has not
been in the same class with the Ga
zette for some time. No innuendo has
been too low for the Republican to
fling at the editor Of the Gazette, and
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
Iron the New York Press I

Two is company till they are mar
ried, when it becomes a crowd.
It is next to impossible not to have
some money if you don't get married
Either boy is so good that he is
sick all the time CT so well that you
can't make him take a bath
A man can always have an enjoyable
Sunday rest explaining the comic pic
lures to the children and going to
church
There is something about woman's
summer clothes that makes a man feel
it wouldn't be much difIerent If she
didn't have them on.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07

All of the unfair discrimination in
this world is not committed by the rail-
roads. The Lawrence World points out
that in southern Kansas the name of
woman who was arrested is given and
the paper publishing the item contin-
ues, a man was with her" ''Of course
he was" says the World. He is al
ways with her. But why not give his
name? Is he any more deserving OF
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

Subscribers of the State journal
away during the summer may have
the paper mailed regularly each day
to any address at the rate of thirty
cents q month. Address changed as
often as desired. While out of town
the State journal viii be to you like
q daily letter from home.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07

According to the Chicago News. cit
is said that no man can get rich trad
ing horses with himself, but those on
the inside of Equitable affairs have
demonstrated that a careful man may
accumulate "a nice pile by selling
bonds to himself" Or he might be-
come secretary of state of Kansas and
a member of the estate school fund com
mission, and accomplish the same
thing
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07

protection than the woman? That kind
of discrimination is what sickens +ne
heart and causes people to realize the
unfairness of the world. It is not the
unfairness of sex as it is the eowardlee
of the man who viii suppress a man >
name and give the woman's. It IS IN
fair"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07
CHANUTB's PROSPECTS.

An Ohio man has patented a con-
trivance to prevent women from step
ping off car backwards. The wo-
men of Chanute should begin to prac-
tice UP when getting out of a buggy,
we may have street cars in Chanute
one of these days, and some woman
will be walking off on her ear.-Cha-
mute Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07
Ia THFY PLEASE-

Again has Philadelphia proved the
truth of the assertion that the people
can do what they please if they please
to do baltimore American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07
TIE HUMAN zee.

1t must have come to town with the
carnival 1 met it on the street. It
was a race; human face. 1t haunts
me yet 1t was lined and SCARED with
eVlI; scanned and discolored with wick
edness. Shocking sight. vet such is Of
ten SEEN for the human mind portrays
us workings in outward features.-Ot-
tawa Republic.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07
AND HE Is.

"He is the biggest man have ever
seen in United States. the most think
ing and the most far-seeing," said
Rider Haggard recently in speaking of
the president. He, the author of
sShe," evidently thinks the president
is It.-Houston Chronicle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07
A WELCOME.

No more Congress,
No more speech,
No more opera,
No more screen.
No more party,
NO more ball,
No receptions
TIL next fall;
No more prancing
Chorus girl,
No more spangles,
No more curl,
No more dress coat
All severe.
Let's give thanks
That summers near.
Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07
WHEN IT Will BE HANDY.

a California inventor has a device
Whlen ne claims will enable people to
travel 200 miles an hour. 1t viii be
Canada in when q. hurry can is issued
1or the grand jury.-Smith Center Pho
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07

An item is floating around over the
state that the thirteenth of this month
comes on Friday, and people are warn
ed to look for all sorts of unfortunate
occurrences. And calendars are so
cheap nowadays, too!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07
KAMSAS .COMMENT
IT HELPED SOME.

Togo ascribes his victory Ito the viz
W, sqe OF the mikado, and to the spirits OF
nls imperial ancestors" The poor
MAJ lllsl IIHsIlnasnship Of the Russians and the
bad spirits with which they were load
ca probably had more to do with it,
WORCESTERSHIRE. Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07
TRYING IT ON.

on the crown at Portland. ore, today.
If it hts he will doubtless attempt to
get a lease on it for four years and
an option for four years more
Hutchinson News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07
THE REASON OF MI

When a man complains because his
meals are not ready on time his wife
blameS the woman caller who stayed
so long and whom she followed clear
to the front gate begging her not to go
so soon.-Clyde Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07

A Chicago statistcian figures that
there is a marriage in that city every
twenty minutes. a birth every eight
minutes, and an arrest every seven.
He might have added that there is a
strike all the time
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07
PROGRESS IN EMPORIA.

The grass that was growing in the
streets is being tramped down a lit
tie. conditions are more favorable and
prospects are much brighter in every
respect.-Emporia Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07
NOR So YOUNG.

Let us hope, since he is likely to be
grandfather within a year or so. that
Emperor William may no longer be
slightingly referred to as that young
man Chicago RecOrd-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07

The report comes from New York
that Mrs. Lease tainted in court just
ike any ordinary woman, at sight of
the man who robbed her recently. The
evidence is accommodating that that is
not the Mrs. Lease kansas once knew.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07

a few months ago. It was once one OF
the most influential and fourishing
daily papers in Kansas
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07

Japan evidently intends to place her
indemnity bill high enough to make
Russia pay off her bonds, put up for
her navy, and then leave her some
spare change for shopping purposes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07

At last accounts Probate Judge
Flack of Dickinson county was not
over neck ahead of the divorce
docket with his marriage licenses
Clay Center Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07
FRON OTHER PENS
YEP.

Kansas is bitterly opposed to trusts
and syndicates, but would make an ex-
ception just now if she could get on
friendly terms with a harvest hand
Notwithstanding Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07
PAUL'S VERsATILITY.

Paul Morton is in for all the expert
ence gong. From railroading to the
The next step NAV be the MANAGEMENT
OF an alrship system.-Wichita Beacon.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07
LITTLE- COMPETTTTON

II you want a chance to become a
great man, go to Russia. They are be-
coming so scarce over there that the
publican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07

Far eastern waters are so literally
beset with sunken war vessels it will
be dangerous to navigate in that quar-
ter OF the globe in the future.-BaIti-
more Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-07

The mayor Of AEuscogee is named
E1te. and judging from the row down
there over the tribal tax, the name
Eeems appropriate.