davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1905-09-01
Finding q Name For Il.

"George, do you see that we'll
dressed man who stands out there in
the street? Well, he stares impudent-
ly at every woman who passes. Cant
he be arrested? It's disorderly con.
duct, isn't it?"
at seems to me, my dear, that il is
more properly highway rubbery."
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1905-09-01
A Quick Retort.

= A school teacher sought to reprove
Q boy who had failed to solve an ex.
ample.
"You ought to be ashamed of your.
self," said the teacher. "When George
Washington was your age he was q
surveyor"
"Well," came the quick response,
" when he was your age he was Presi.
dent of the United States"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1905-09-01
Clever Child.

"I suppose you will marry when you
grow upf" said the visitor, pleasantly
"No," replied the thoughtful little
girl, innocently, Mamma says papa
is more care than the children, SO /
guess the care OF my children will be
enough for me without the care OF a
husband"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1905-09-01
The Burning Bug.
Brooklyn Life.

Brooklyn Life.
Alice rushed in from the garden,
where she had been picking flowers
She was badly stung by bee, and was
holding on to her finger and sobbing
pitifully.
"Oh, mamma" she cried, 1 burned
me on q bugl"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1905-09-01
Suggestive.

II thought you were friendly to the
Newbrides? Why is it Mrs. Newbride
won't speak to your"
"Oh, when she married Newbride l
sent him as a wedding present copy
of " Paradise Lost"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1905-09-01
Eoice Of Habit.

"Is that a good automobile?" asked
the man who was selecting q machine.
"Good," echoed the dealer who used
to sell horses. "Why, sir, that auto
mobile is 90 gentle it will eat out oi
your hand"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1905-09-01
Supsrstitious.
Cleveland Blain Deater.

"Mother, what sort Of q sign is it
when you dream that you are mar.
ried."
"They say that dreams 60 by con.
traries, my dear"
Mother, I'll be afraid to 60 to
sleep now"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1905-09-01

THE ancients believed that kissing q
pretty girl was sure cure for head
ache. After all there's nothing like
the old.fashioned remedies.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1905-09-01
The Answer.
Cleveland Leadt

Ethyl-Why does Mae let Mr.. Aufull
say such shocking things to her?
Daisys-Somebody told her that she
looked prettiest when she blushed.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1905-09-01
The Way.

If you would seize an envied place
On fame 9 most honored shelf,
Devise some brand-new way to make
A jackass Of yourself.
Baltimore american.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1905-09-01

blood. 1t will set things right in your stom-
ach, and your appetite will come back. If
there is any tendency In your family toward
consumption, it will keep that dread de-
stroyer away. Even after consumption has
almost gained foothold in the form of q
lingering cough bronchitis, or bleeding at
the lungs, 1t will bring about speedy cure in
% per cent. of all cases. 1t is remedy pre-
pared by Dr. X. w. Pierce, of Buffalo, N. ",
whose advice is given free to all who wish to
write him. His great success has come from
his wide experience and varied practice.
o. S. Copenhaver, Esq, of Mount Union.
Huntingdon Co.. Pa. (Box 77l), writes: About
twelve years ago / was suddenly taken with q
pain in the pit Of the stomach which was % vio-
lent could not walk straight. 1t would grow
more severe until 1t caused waterbrash and von-
iting of Shiny yellow water. A physician told
me had a form of dyspepsia and treated me for
other physician told me my liver was out of or
der and that had indigestion. He gave me
treatment and got some better but only for
short time. Ithen tried another one. who said
had chronic indigestion, liberation of the lining
ofthe stomach, torpid liver aud kidney affection.
He treated me for more than q year and felt
much better but II did not last. then took to
using several widely advertised patent medi-
cines but received no more than temporary re-
lief / then tried DR.. Pierce's medicines, using
his Golden Medical Discovery and the Pleas
ant Pellets and In two months time was feel
Ing better than had for years before"
Don't be wheedled by a penny grabbing
dealer into taking inferior substitutes fof
Dr. Pierce's medicines, recommended to
be lust as good"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1905-09-01
OuR PaEsoRlpr,oM DEPARTMENT

w" THEScRiPTioN OEPARTMeNr
Realising our responsibility in this res
pect, we are scrupulously particular, in
every detail, using only the best and
purest drugs and chemicals with guaran-
teed accuracy. 1t matters not what ply
compounded in the strictest accordance.
Herewith, by competent, reliable phar-
macist. If brought to us, and only reason.
able charges made.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1905-09-01
OLYMPIA, WASHINGTON: FRIDAY MORNING. SEPT l. 1905

imagines that the spirit of her muir
dered sweetheart is contained in this
pig. What next?
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1905-09-01
WHOLE NUMBER 1850.
DO YOU FEEL THIS WAY,

Do you feel all tired out? Do you some.
times think you just can't work away at
your profession or trade any longer? Do
you have poor appetite, and lay awake at
nights unable to sleepl Are your nerves
ali gone, and your stomach too?
Has ambition to forge ahead "a in the
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1905-09-01

We REsPEcrFuLLr SoLIcir
You to give us a call when in need
of anything in our line. Whether
you purchase or not, get our prices
SEQ our goods. These two points
alore will make you regular pa
irons. Then. we treat everyone Jus
alike, child can do as we'll here a
an adult. We always appreciate ps
tronage, whether small or larg,
and sell goods at reasonable price,
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1905-09-01
Attention

To your wants in all that should be in
Drug Store, Is our business, and
the aim is that our atten.
ton to these needs
be SO satisfactory to you
that you will depend on us for
your supply of
PURE DRUGS, PERFUMERY,
CHEMICALS, SOAPS,
CIGARS, STATIONERY.
PATENT MEDICINES,
AND
DRUGGISTS SUNDpIES
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1905-09-01

GA STo EIA.
ssa,, tia >,Ihs Kind You Have Always Bought
ss;:;''' s.; !: ''' &M2Sz1,
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1905-09-01

''s~ "Ae'0 LIZ mo.;d se
.st&G~ you might
atSs as we'll put
~ a stop to your
A misery. You can do
~ it if you will. DR..
~ Pierce's Golden
. Medical Discovery
will make you a diff:
M ferent individual. Il
III will set your slug.
gish liver to work.
10 1t will get into every
vein in your body
/! and purify your
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1905-09-01
DRIFTWOOD

Pieces washed up by the tide. doomed, sawed
split and piled for the perusal and pasiime ol
paid dup subscribers, also for those who beg Dor
row aud steal the STANDARD In order that they
may enjoy little sunshine as they Journey
through this vale of Tears.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1905-04-21
OUTSIDE POINT OF VIEW

1t is no wonder that pcssimism In
creases with age. Somehow the bad
traits of humanity force themselves
on us more than their virtues. II is
perfectly safe to assume that job was
over three score when he said nj his
heart that all men We're liars" In ear
.lv manhood the vices and faults OF
others do not seem so pronounced,
perhaps because of a knowledge of our
own Weaknesses. And as has been Of
ten remarked some mistake old age for
virtue, when the impulses of youth no
longer are felt, there is less charity for
the mistakes Of others. This repeated
condition coming to all, brings out the
pessimistfc comment from all OF a GER
tain age "rhe country is going to the
demnition bow wows." heard from the
lips of young man of twenty-five
causes comment of surprise, but let the
gray haired man utter those identical
words and we expect them from the
source. It's the rrusty old bachelor
that enlightens the world on the van
ity and frailties of women. And the
exception has brought out the remark,
There is no fool like an old fool" It's
the old men that are fighting the trusts
and combines. They are the ones to
see the shipwrecl1 of the ships of state
unless there comes a speedy change.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1905-04-21

inely sentimental and the discourses
shown of masculinity.e
DR.. Morgan has not given the whole
cause i'm his theory Of male non-at-
tendance on church services. but he
has found and advanced one of the
real reasons. The average man Is so
much the barbarian that he Graves the
brutality Of frankness from which the
other sex shirks with instructive del
icacy and senstveness. Few men are
dilletantes In politics and religion.
Bluntness of belief and positive state
ment belong to the masculine as
naturally as faith and dependence to
the feminine. 1t is true that too many
of our church songs are of the kinder
garten kind, and too much OF the
tive. The secret of the drawing power
of such men as Williams and Sunday
lies as much i'm their positiveness as in
their sensationalism. They leave no
loophole for argument. They say
thing is so and repeat assertion over
and over again with a positiveness
that convinces from it's intensity.
But, granting Mr.. Morgan's point,
is church attendance the only thing to
be considered? Is the church less
force in its alleged fenininity than in
the days when the father led the
family to high backed pew to hear
an angry God translated byan ascetic?
Is the church more or less forward in
the works that lift humanity and
make for the betterment of the race
now than it was when men ruled 1t
and women sat silent i'm the syna-
gogues? Is religion wider or mar
rover? Is it or not building more hos
pitfalls, alleviating more suffering visit
ing the widows and the fatherless
oftener than in the old time? All this Is
to be considered along with the vexed
problem of how men are to be brought
to church. AS it stands now with many
OF them their wives bring them when
they come, and the wifely religious in
fluence runs thru the week and in
fluences them to good deeds and
human helpfulness more than the
dogmatism Of the old days ever ac-
complished Bring the men to church
if possible, but if it's effeminate
character has been the cause Of Its
growth in breadth and liberality keep
the women still in charge Of it's des-
tines.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1905-04-21

strength or health. He was able for
on his usual college work, and for Il
part OF the time he also performed
heavy physical labor. The articles are
quite thoroughly digested and have u
must higher nutritive value than is
popularity attributed to them" The
whoesomeness of long continued diet
of fruits was not tested.
Dobbin: "You didn't go to the horse
show, did you"?'
be entered for a prize"
Dobbin: II wonder what the style
in horse bonnets Is going to be this
Somerville Journal.
A safe now being made for the Pre-
mier Diamond Mine Company is in
tended to hold S10,0O0,000 worth of dia-
monds. 1t will be the strongest safe
ever constructed. Seven feet high, six
feet wide. and weighing twenty one
tons, it will cost between $500 and
100000 The steel door alone will
weigh five tons.
Consular Clerk Murphy, Of Frank
fort, Germany, reports that the hay
box" has solved in Germany the prob
lem of fireless stove. Food is brought
to boiling heat for several minutes
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1905-04-21
the CHURCH AND THE WOMEN.

DR.. w. H. Morgan, prominent Ne
yada. minister, has advanced a new
reason why men do not go to church
Cutting out of the question laziness,
lack of good clothes and the general
cussedness of man DR.. Morgan de-
clares that the churches are too eff
terminate" to attract men. THE femin-
Inc element" says the Doctor. lis too
predominant in fixing the character of
the services, as 1t 10 in the makeup of
the congregation. The churches should
be less timid; should take a bold stand
An demanding work and devoted SER
vices for thedr members, and should
proclaim masculine Christianity rather
than a feminine aestheticism.' He
complains that the hymns are femin-
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1905-04-21
Topics Of the Times

With the coming of spring let US
be thankful for Roosevelt, base ball,
the golf links and the gospel Of out
doors.
A new class of aspirants to rural
mail partnerships came forward at an
examination in Henry county recently
when several farmers took the exam
nation as candidates for vacancies.
Seven hundred and twenty dollars a
year looks to the farmer like an easy
the horses busy.
Abba has lost it's military company
on account of the failure of the soldiers
to maintain the soldierly standard re-
quired.
The Iowa Travelling Mems Associa-
ton has begun crusade against the
roller towel in hotels.
Omaha pupils are protesting against
the admission of Japanese children to
the public school. A jiu jitsu appli-
cation by their parents would seem
to be indicated.
Admirals of the opposing fleets in
eastern waters are requested to hurry
UP that naval fight. The public is
growing impatient.
Paul Jones' body encased In lead
en- casket filled with alcohol is scarce
ly to be referred to as "dry bones"
Governor Otero of New Mexico says
that the people of New Mexico will
not approve of any joint statehood
nonsense. They would prefer to re-
main in territory rather than to
accept statehood joined to Arizona.
The people of Arizona feel the same
way about it. However, the rest of the
country is not particularly anxious for
their admission as one state or two
Perhaps the best thing to do IL to wait
until New Mexico has become suffi-
GENTLY civilized to elect governor
with an American name.
A southern Iowa weekly prints a
sketch of Charlton cople, Mr.. and
Mrs. James Brady, colored, who have
been responsible for the bringing into
the world twenty children, fourteen of
whom are twins. Says Mr. Bradley:
IA few chillun mo- or less don't mat
tab in dis kind of family" He stands
over six feet in his stockings and ex-
poets to live to see the century mark.
and when he is finally gathered to his
fathers he hopes to leave at least ten
pairs of twins to show to the world
that "Jim Bradley and Mistah Roose-
Welt have lived"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1905-04-21
Last Hope Vanished.

When leading physicians said that
w. M. Smlthart of Peliin Ia, had in
durable consumption, his last hope
vanished: but DR.. Kings New Discov-
cry for Consumption, Coughs and
Colds, kept him out Of his grave. He
saws: "This great specific completely
cured me, and saved my life. Sine.
then. | have used 1t for over 10 years
and consider 1t a marvellous throat and
lung cure" Strictly scientific cure for
coughs, sore threats or colds; sure
preventive of pneumonia. Guaranteed.
zoe and 81 bottles at Mcdonald 81 Ma
hood Co.'S drug store. Trial bottle
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1905-04-21
WHAT the PHILIPPINE CENSUS SHOWS.

The figures of the first American
census Of the Philippines are given I'm
a bulletin issued by the United States
government, and bring out some very
interesting facts. The archipelago con-
sists of 342 independent groups of ISL
ards, with an aggregate population OF
1884 About 9 per cent are wild
tribes; the remainder more or less
civilized"--chiefly less. All are Cath
olics in religion. There are only four
cities Of over 10000 population. Three"
f1fths of the people live in villages.
There are only $4,000 foreigners and
hree-fourths of these are Chinese. The
population has quadrupled in 100 years.
The masses of the people cultivate
/ small patches of ground and gardens
and fish and hunt. The women are ex-
pert weavers. Among the Visayans are
sfine needlewomen, embroiderers, lace
I makers, etc.
Z The vital statistics show that the
people develop early, marry early and
die early--82 per cent before the age
j OF fifty. Malaria carries away ~ per
cent, cholera 33 per cent Contagious
diseases can scarcely be controlled on
account Of the ignorance as to SANTA
ton, etc.
The line of demarcation between the
tribes is closely drawn. The people
are too clannish to marry outside their
tribes There are as many females
practically, as males, but only one
third Of the population is married. Only
about half the population can read
! any language. Less than that per cent
can write. Only one-fifth can both
read and write. The college educated
form about 11s per cent Of the total.
Hemp is the most valuable export,
forming two thirds of the total Sugar
is next. Pauperism, except in times
Of distress, is unknown. The people
are willing to work, and under compe-
tent direction are good laborers The
most encouraging thing is the growth
OF education. Five per cent of the
population--as against 20 per cent iii
this country-are in the schools. There
are 5000 teachers Of whom four-fifths
are native. There is great need of
more schools and teachers.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1905-04-21
THE LITERARY BUREAU GRAFT.

Not all the effective lobbys are to
be found hanging to the skirts of leg
islatures When a powerful organiza-
ton desires favorable legislation or a
rich man like c. w. Post has a favor
lite scheme like the parcels post to
promote, very significant item in the
expense accounts is that for literary
bureaus" Mr.. Post maintains a liter
airy bureau largely at his own expense
carefully conducted and furnishing ar
ticles free to the country press, caut-
iously written, but carrying the point
Mr. Post desires most to make. Others
take advantage of the literary bur-
eau" The politician knows its value.
the trusts use it with shrewdness and
the CRATER with success. The mails
are full of it. 1t is all written by ar
lists and all with an object. They
"worls'' the editors. If there is a re-
form to be defeated or a graft to be
urged these bureaus wake to in
slant and incessant activity. The
literary bureau" is the wet nurse of
every special interest.
just now fulfilling the promise that
E innurnerable tons of literature" are to
be sent out by the railroads the lit
erary bureau" is busy with the rate
question. Newspaper offices are be-
sieged with special articles and special
news reports bearing on the leading
problem of rate legislation. These re-
ports are full of covert threats against
the employees, reduction Of the number
Of men employed, decrease of wages
and the application of the ak wher-
ever it might be applied, and pleas of
unfairness to railway interests in pro-
posed government supervision of rates.
It is all special plea and threat, not
argument, an attempt to backfre with
sentiment and prejudice against
business proposition.
That editors are easy" is illustrat-
ed by the success of the bureaus in
gaining space for their literature.
There can be no objection to granting
any honest organizat ton with an. hon.
est object publicity for it's side of the
case There is objection however, to
furthering the confidence game Of an
advertising bureau and giving space to
articles with an INSCRIPTIONS purpose.
The tons" of railroad literature which
are to be scattered thru the country to
every newspaper office need careful
aditipp
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1905-04-21

Experiments with dietary of fruits
and nuts at the University of Ca!ifor-
MIA have shown that both furnish the
body with energy, and the nuts yield
some building material also. The cost
of a diet exclusively of fruits and nuts
varied from Is to 46 cents day for
each person, which will compare ia
yorably with the cost of an ordinary
mixed diet. One student gradually
changed from a mixed diet to fruits
and nuts without apparent loss OF
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1905-04-21

in covered vessels and these covered
vessels are then placed i'll a box filled
with hay, a pillow is placed over them
and the box lid is made tight. The
hay keeps the pots warm for many
hours, during which time the cooking
process continues, with the result that
nine tenths Of the fuel is saved. The
pillow has to be dried, of course, after
each use and the hay must be kept
dry and renewed when it becomes
moldy. Food can thus be cooked with
a short, sharp fire before breakfast
and will remain hot all day. The
saving Of trouble for the housewife is
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1905-04-21
Washington Star.
Hope belongs to youth why is it denied

Hope belongs to youth, why is 1t denied
to age?
During the last extreme spell OF cold
weather an Iowa man had business
that caused him to drive from one
town to another. On his return along
towards midnight with the thermomet-
err down in the thirties, in the middle
of the road, the horses nearly tramp
ling him, lay worthless speciment of
humanity, dead drunk. The good citi-
zen stopped, picked him up, drove back
in the terribly cold night, four miles
to the home of the drunkard, delivered
the sot to his family, and then chilled
thru and thru drove back to his own
home. The result was the good samar-
itan had fit Of sickness, typhoid and
pneumonia, with close escape
from death, and incidentally
leaving his family of wife and children
to buffet the world and it's trials and
tribuations AS it was the expenses
of lost time, doctors bills. ETC., made
the strictest economy in the family of
the good man necessary for over
year. Meanwhile the drunkard suffer-
ed no Inconvenience and was ready for
another spree the week following. Now
the facts are, that If the rescuer had
passed the drunkard by, had allowed
him to freeze to death in the middle
of the road that cold right, it would
have been the greatest good to the
greatest number. The drunkard's wife
would have been the gamer, and the
good samaritan's wife and children
would had more needed comforts and
necessities. But common humanity
brought out the praiseworthy deed.
Under such circumstances to fail to
do what this man did would be UNI
worthy of a common manhood. And
pesSimiSm.
Some time ago stranger was in the
presence of a young business man.
Where could he buy a good driving
horse? asked the stranger. It SO hap
pened that the business man had a
friend out of town few miles, with
a good horse to sell, so the business
man hitched up his own, team and
took the stranger out to see the horse.
A trade was made. Then the business
man loaned the stranger his buggy and
harness, so that the new purchase
could be driven to the strangers
home, when he would ship the buggy
and harness hack by freight 1t was
so done, but the stranger forgot to
pay the freight. Now this little affair
changed an optimist into pessimist.
He is thru obliging people," And
that's the way of the world. 1t isn't
tragedy, but comedy, that does it. Re-
peated experiences thru the going
years changes the optimistic young
man into the pessimistic old man. Nu-
merous favors and kindnesses of our
fellow-men are forgotten. The petty
meannesses and receptions of others
are remembered, and if some of us are
wise enough to conceal our opinions,
to assume that we think the world is
getting better every day, don't believe
us. We're self-deceived.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1905-04-21

Tho RIGHT Name is Dewitt.

DeWitts Witch Hazel Salve cools.
soothes and heals cuts. burns. boils.
bruises, piles and all skin diseases. X.
e. Zickefoose Adolph. w. Va, says:
my little daughter had white swell
ing so bad that piece after piece of
bone worked out of her leg. DeWitts
Witch Hazel Salve cured her" 1t Is
the most wonderful healing salve in
the world. Beware of counterfeits.
Sold hy all druggists.