The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-22
SIDE LIGHTS ON TIE VAUDEVILLE LIE Eternal Vigilance is the Price
 of Success JEALOUSY IN THE RANKS Performer Who Is Rowing and Smiling to the Audience May be Get
 ting a "Roast' From
 the Wings.
ALOUSY IN THE RANKS

dReT begins ILL J u. Ili At iiAnt A1NA SANf en managers and stage directors of the various theatres belonging to the circuit, some of them situated as far from the center of civilization as Newark and Troy, meet in a small back room on Twenty-eighth street, says the New York correspondent of the Washington Post
 Having settled down to work each man. ager is called upon to report on the bus mess done at his theatre during the pre- vious week Particular attention is paid to the curtain calls, for they tell the story of the popularity, or lack of 1t, Of the performers.
 It certainly would do some of the per- formers good to hear their attractions discussed in this emotionless atmosphere; many heads would return to their normal size. Say that Mary Smith is under dis cusson. It may surprise you to learn that "our Name, the Joy of the John nies," doesn't take at all in Troy.
 T can't help what New Workers think" repeats the Troy manager, Mary doesn't take with the Troy people. It ain't that there is anything the matter with Mary; but they expected more That Is It.. Don't they applaud?'
 "Oh, they applaud all right, but l hear the remarks as they go out, and the box office receipts have fallen off Mary Is calmly showed along on the cir cult to less popular theatre and the meeting continues. Mary, meanwhile, dr canning that her salary Is to be raised and that the sign of electric letters spell ing her name to Troy Is to be enlarged so that 1t will cover the front of the house.
 "The Risquescope- biograph pictures won't go," announces another director gloomily.
 "Too?"
 Hmi Laws stepped ini"
 The head manager glances around as though he feared that his hearers might have gained wrong impression and then says. In an Ocean Grove tone:
 Personally, I saw no fault in the pie lures, though they were little-er-un- conventional perhaps It would seem that public who could stand Bernard Shaw might put up with the biograph, but sooner than feel that we have done harm to one American home we would rather lose money every day in the week"
 This noble sentiment meets with pro- found bows of approval.
 Would that the matinee hero could hear the next statement. His manager is asked to give an account of his performance.
 He gets Q laugh every time he isn't expected to. His lovemaking is so vehe- ment that the stage hands have to tie the scenery posts to keep it from falling over. He gets ebulient that's it, ebu- lient."
 Speaker Corrects Himself.
 The speaker takes pity on the scared faces of his colleagues who look as if he had said something improper and hast ilxy unIa f,,c it, .1- +z1r the bit in his teeth"
 Remind him that he Is playing In re- fined vaudeville and that 1t isn't neces- sary to clutch the leading lady as though she were a fire escape" says the boss manager.
 Speaking of fre" interrupts the prop erty manager, I've have got all the hay for Squire Kate fireproofed."
 Some of the managers are inclined to take this as joke, but find that they are hearing the simple truth
 Every whisp of 1t Is fireproofed," is explained There Is some talk about having the wigs fireproofed. too, but that is only talk"
 T must have a pair of oxen," an- nounces director.
 Wont sheep do? No? We can get six sheep for what two oxen would cost'
 But sheep ain't in the picture a little bit and oxen are. and you can't depend on New Workers not knowing the diff ference; half of them are farmers"
 That's true. Give em oxen Whats this hear about the race track scene In the Sporting Duchess?'
 The manager, questioned. faces the slt- uation boldly.
 "Fhe wrong horse wins every night. The jockeys say they can't help it, and the audience don't seem to notice: an what's the difference?'
 Here an Interruption takes place; while a slip of paper is handed to each man. ager, with instructions to see that the order is carried out. It was as follows: Rule for performers: Keeping off the stage during performance must be en- forced more strictly.
 | Here. 1t Is explained comes in that quality which underles the whole str,ic- | ture Of the vaudeville organization and | has to be taken into account In every ar | rangement-the jealousy felt by one per | former of another.
 | Many vaudeville houses have been lax | on this point Rivals for the public favor have been allowed to stand in the wings | and guy one another's acts While the spectators are madly ap- plauding Spaghetti in his marvellous eoui- florist feat little do they know that Mac | aroni with his performing dogs is stand Ing Just out of eye and ear range of all but the unfortunate Spaghetti yelling Four fiusher' 'Imitatori' and other gentle amenities.
 Woes of the vaudeviIIian.
 Little did the pleased spectators of the Apple Sisters, when they gave a song and dance act know that night after night young man to whom they owed sS for telling through the pages of legitimate advertising that they were the great and only ones, stood and with cracked voice and tired tongue hissed, Flight dollars! Eight dollars! while they blushed and simpered and smiled. Thus do comedy and tragedy jostle each other in this mot ley world.
 Such reflections are broken in upon by the voice of another manager.
 '1 understand that Miss Russell wants harp in the orchestra. She says that she has some simply heavenly gowns and she must have harp. She will be here at 2 o'clock"
 The managers all sit up and take mo- tiee. One picks paper lily and sticks 1t jauntily in his buttonhole, another brushes his hair over an exposed spot, and another gazes surreptitiously in near-at- hand mirror.
 The son of his father suggests that as his parent is not especially interested in harps he will represent him at the time | named. The manager from Newark went to school with Lillian and of course, can talk harp better than a stranger A third lost on the same horse that she bet on four years ago. and the others have equally good reasons for giving up the regular routine and dropping around about g.. It Is finally, decided that they