davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
eLoRlEs OF MAR.

Major General CorbiE commanding
the department of the east, tells the
following with reference to a member
of the militia of northern state talk
ing part in the recent mauoeuvers
at Manassas:
The guardsman was one day making
heroic efforts to get away with his
first ration of army beef A fellow sol
dier walking near him stopped TO
watch with some amusement. the at.
tempt of the northerner to masticate
the meat. What's the matter, Bill?"
asked he
"Oh nothin much" was the suilen
reply. Then, disgustedly regarding a
piece of the beef that he held in his
hand, the Yankee added
Now | know what people mean
when, they talk about the sinews Of
war"
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
Reno Of the Silver State.

oSuV VI IHe Oliver state.
Reno, the metropolis at the state
of Nevada. says the Sunset Magazine
has nearly all of the elements and
adjuncts which have brought about
the building Of cities in other portions
OF our country. Nature has placed
the stamp Of approval upon it's loca.
ton. 1t has territory of its own
great In extent and varied in ra.
sources. It is not at all overshadow.
ed by the proximity of any other large
commercial center. Sacramento the
nearest, Is $50 miles distant, and sena.
rated from Reno by the Sierra. This
mountain barrier effectually blocks
the building of eastern and western
lines OF railway. The first and admit.
tedly the shortest and best trsnscon.
tinental steel highway from the east
to west passes through Reno Tho
only other practical pass through this
mountain wall is about thirty r;,as
to the north. and from the natnra ~
the case no competitor can arise n
that direction. South through Nevada
INTO California, and north through Me-
vada and California into Oregon y
m. =. territory lying to the east If +h =
sierra Nevada mountains, Reno has
Ana can have no rival. .'''
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
HABITS CHAIN

Certain Habits uneonsciously Formed
and Hard to Break.
An ingenious philosopher estimates
that, the amount of will power neces-
sary to break lifelong habit would,
II It could be transformed, lift q
weight Of many tons.
It sometimes requires higher de-
gree Of heroism to break the chains
Of q pernicious habit than to lead a
forlorn hope in q bloody battle. A
lady writes from an Indiana town:
From my earliest childhood was
. lover Of coffee. Before was out
Of my teens I was miserable dys.
peptic. suffering terribly at times with
my stomach.
II was convinced that It was coffee
that was causing the trouble, and yet
I could not deny myself a cup for
breakfast. At the age of SO was in
very poor health indeed. My sister
told me I was in danger Of becoming
. cofree drunkard.
"But never could give up drink.
Ing coffee for breakfast, although It
kept me constantly i'll, until I tried
Pnotum. learned to make It prop
1fN ac0ording to directions. and now
~ can hardly do without Postum for
brvakfAst, and care nothing at all for
cunsee.
q nm no longer troubled with dys.
popGlA - not have spells Of suffering
Vim my stomach that used to trouble
~ - when I drank coffee" Name
gtv1A n Postum Co.. Battle Greek.
nIch.
81 q each pkg. for the famous
lsiis ssl!,s Road 20 Wsiivtils... =
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
HAND-To-HAND FIGHTING.
Sample Of Tragedies Now Being
Enacted in the East.

1t was 10 O'Clock in the morning
when we saw coming out from their
hiding places small band of Russian
soldiers, writes a Japanese Magazine.
That was the beginning of the fierce
onslaught. 1t was as if somebody had
revived in this civilized day of ours
the scenes from the old story books,
rows were the only weapons of war,
and men slashed away at each other.
1t was just at this time that we saw a
Russian officer rise from the ranks,
and leaping over the dead bodies of
his men and comrades and putting
himself at the head of the ranks, try
by his daring example to revive the
spirits of his men. Against the lurid
background of blood and fire he made
superb figure, always rushing in
front of his men, his sword cleaning
ever over the heads of the fighting
men.
At last this officer rushed out. call.
to follow. When he was within a
few feet of our men he turned his
head to see whether his men we're
obeying his order. Instead of follow
ing at his heels his soldiers were
trampling upon each other in the
mad effort to run away. The sight
broke his heart. evidently. He turned
the point of his sword he had held
against himself An instant later he
fell with his heart pierced through.
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
THE vlRelNlAh AND THE CLOG

At the luncheon following the
launching of the submarine torpedo
boat Simon Lake X. Mr.. Foster M.
Voorhees,, former governor of New Jer-
sey, told this story on distinguished
Virginian:
The son of the Old Dominion had
been out with the boys. AS he softly
opened the hall door the melodious
voice of his better half greeted him
with the query:
What time is it?"
"It is early, my dear" responded the
Virginian.
"How can you say so" exclaimed
his spouse, when the clock nas just
struck two?"
Gall right" said the Virginian. his
voice indicating virtuous Indignation.
Cali right! If you choose to take the
word of id Yankee clock against
that of Virgnian gentleman you may
do so; but l have my opinion of
you."
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
Calumet
Baking
PowtIer
porfeot in quality.
Moderate in price.
JUDGE DEFINES A "WlDoW."
Asserts That Term Ae,2'its of Several
Constructio is.
Perfect in quality.
Moderate in price.

Asserts That Term Aer'its of Several
Constructions.
IAN income of So week-and not
able to do much of anything?-and
YOU think you can take care OF little
girl who isn't your own-but what
about that income-how does it come
to you?" queried Judge Mack, while
investigating the dependency OF Katie
Berhall.
1.-The income?" repeated Mrs. Mel
bergerhein, the woman in the case
"Well-judge-you see-my husband
gives me 50 a week"
Whereupon Officer William Stein, OF
the Children's Aid society, interposed:
"Your honor, this woman told me
she was a widow"
His honor leaned forward and stern
ly said:
"How's this? The officer says you
told him you were widow, and you
please, your honor, am WIDOW
Mrs. Nelbergerhein interrupted. Its
grass isn't it-a grass widow widow
that's what / am, Judge. He didn't
ask me what kind, your honor"
The court smiled.
"Yes-y-e.s-there's difference and
a distinction in widowsy," ruled his
honor-"and all are widows. Well
have to admit that-y-e-s."
That's one on me" confessed OFF,
Ger Stein, and tip for future use.'-
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
ENGLISH HuMoR.

Charles M. Pepper, the newspaper
man who was appointed commits
sioner on the Intercontinental railway
commission, tells an amusing story in
which the main figure is Henry Nor
man, the British journalist. Norman
visited Washington few years ago.
One evening just before the depar-
ture of the Britisher it was deter
mined to put up a joke on him at the
Press club. A Mr.. Decker was select
ed to be the perpetrator. This gen
tleman arose in his seat and, taking
a small bell from his pocket, address
ed MIR. Norman as follows:
Sir, have been designated by my
fellow members to convey to you an
expression of our pleasure. On be-
half of the National Press club of
Washington l am instructed to give
you thing ring"
AS he uttered the word ring" Mr..
Decker raped the bell smartly and
placed it upon the table.
1t was plainly to be seen that the
Englishman was taken aback. After
a good deal of hemming and having
he replied:
'Mr. Decker and members of the
National Press club, words fail me.
am overwhelmed. With respect to this
gift, which I am pleased to receive,
suppose that Mr. Decker, as was only
natural in the embarrassment of the
moment, for we newspaper men are
VIGOROUSLY poor speakers, has made
mistake, for he has, as you see,
given me bell instead of ring!"
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
HAY, HAY-pRIEp GRASS.

AS might we'll be expected, the name
of the present secretary of state is
familiar to nearly all Americans. and
evidence of his claim to a place in
their memories was furnished recent
ly by little incident that happened
while farmer, rejoicing in his mono
syllable cognomen, was talking over
the long distance telephone. Mr. Hay"
was given as an, answer to the fire.
quent telephone question, "Who is
there?" But Mr.. Hay was requested
to repeat his name, and his inter
locutor, failing to catch it again and
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
BROWN GUN is A WONDER.
Fighting Machine Said TO rave
P.nce of One Hundred Miles.


Rance of One Hundred Miles.
The inventor of the new American
gun is man named j. halnilton
Brown. though the work OF construct
ing this particular siN-inch eNperiihei-
tai niece is in charge of Col. John NJ
tnealls retired L. S. A., an artillerls1
OF high standing and reputation pes
pite the incredulity of contemporary
gun-huilders. says a writer III Every
body's. Col. ingalls, and the oihee's
with him assert that this siX-lnch gun
will throw thirty miles a proJecNile
weighing 700 pounds which VIII pierce
six-inch steel target.
A ten-inch gun of this constructors
with powder chamber OF l4,2o9 cuplc
inches and using $50 pounds OF smoke
powder, would hurl 60o-pound pro-
jectile a distance af fifty-nlne miles.
Increasing this ratio l6-lnch gun
would have an extreme range OF more
than 100 miles and equipped with
such coast-defense rifles England ana
France could shell each other across
the channel.
The important new principle IN the
Brown gun is the winding OF tube
of involute steel plates with polished
steel wire, thus securing both iongl-
tudinal and circumferenial strength.
The gun is S13 inches long and weighs
1000 pounds. On forged-steel I'M
ing tube thirty-four fiat steel shee1s'
one-seventh of an inch in thickness
and COS inches in length, are laid In
! the same fashion that shingles are put
on roof, one under the other. But
in this case they curl around the lining
tube, fitting exactly and form the true
tapering cylinder. On the outside OF
these plates is wound, back and forth
just as thread is wound on spool
twenty-one miles of steel wire which
is so tightly stretched by special ma
chine that every inch is tested tc
stand $500 pounds of tension.
There are seven layers OF wound
wire at the muzzle and twenty-one al
the breech. On the outside of the wire
for distance of twelve feet from the
breech, is shrunk forged steel JACKIE
to cover the power chamber. 1t is be
lieved that no possible powder pres
sure in explosion could burst this gun
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
cuTlcuRA SOAP
The WORLDS Greatest Skin soap-rhe
Standard Of Every Nation of
the Earth.

Millions of the worlds best people
use Cuticura Soap. assisted by Cuti-
cura Ointment, the purest and sweet
est of emolient skin cures, for preserv-
ing, purifying and identifying the
skin, for cleansing the scalp of crusts,
scales and dandruff, and the stopping
of falling hair, for softening, whiten-
ing and soothing red, rough and sore
hands, for baby rashes, itchings and
chafings, and many sanative, antisep-
tic purposes which readily suggest
themselves to women, especially
mothers, as we'll as for all the pur-
poses of the toilet. bath and nursery.
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
The Real Issue.

There are two issues after all,
Above the ones that speech may call
Or wisdom utter;
Two issues that with me and you
Are most important-and the two
Are bread and butter.
Let patriotic banners wave,
Let economic speakers rave;
lis not potential
The Art proclaim or Music sing;
The Loaf is after all the thing
That's most essential.
Truth seeks some broader meeting place
For breed or clan or tribe or race
For saint and sinner;
But after all the noise and fuss
The issue paramount with us
IS-What for dinner?
New theories we may evolve,
Old governments we may dissolve,
New flags float Ger us,
And Truth may search and Wisdom think.
Still these two planks of meat and drink
Are yet before us.
So let contention hotly wage,
And let the wars Of logic rage
In discourse fretted;
When all the clamor is complete
The issue still is what to eat
And how to get it.!
New York Times.
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
MEXICAN Journals.

Mexico is credited with being at
the head Of the Latin-American coun-
tries in the matter of letters. Besides
possessing the Oldest organs of Span
ish- American journalism, 1t is said to
have In active existence the first H.
brary established in America. which
is now at least 400 years old. In Chile.
Argentina and Peru there are papers
that have been published for fifty
years and more. One is the FL Com
ercio, Of Lima, which has had career
Of sixty years Of uninterrupted daily
issue. Is AZ
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
ORIGIN OF THE "Aoos,ERs."

Thomas Taggart, who may be ac-
cepted as an authority on the subject,
tells picturesque story of the origin
OF the word Hoosier.
"When the first settlers" he says,
"came to Indiana from the Carolinas
and Kentucky they built their little
log cabins along common road, and
as the cabins all looked alike, 1T be-
came the custom for any one seeking
friends to go along the road calling
out at each cabin: Who's here? From
this the original settlers came to be
known as Hoosiers."
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
Really Weak Soup.

Sir Percy Sanderson, the British
consul general in New York, was talk
ing on the Etruria about weak soup.
"As good description of weak soup
as l know" he said. came from the
lowly lips of poor woman in the
east end of London. She was desti-
tute last winter, and a parish visitor
advised her to apply for soup at
neighboring soup kitchen.
She got some soup, but she did
not like it. This is what she said of
it to the visitor when he called next
day:
DO you call that stuff soup? Why,
all they do is to get quart of water
and boil it down to a pint to make 1t
strong.'"
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
AZ Half.Past Nine p. N.

At lf-past Nine p. NJ. when Jack
Breathes low a last good night.
/ wish my heart but had the knack
To hide its silly plight;
But, ali! it f1utters so. my will
Is powerless to stem
It's tide Of love- its joyous thrill.
At half-pasu Nine p. NJ.
The evening through, I'm frank to state
My heart betrays no sign
Rebellious; calm 1t Is at Eight.
Eight thirty. yet, and Nine;
A woman's will walks to and fro
Decorums guard pro tenn
Until Jack takes his hat to co..
At haf-past Nine p. NJ.
I bless the fate that keeps me cold
And prim the evening through,
But when a heart rebels so bold,
Pray. what's a girl to do?
Gainst saving Yes I'm firmly set.
And kissing condemn
But who knows what may happen yet
At half-past Nine P. NJ?
Roy Farrell Greene in New York Press.
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
Important to Mothers.
HER uLr,MAruM.
Why She Objected to Papa's Matri-
noniaj Assistance.

Why She Objected to Papa's Matri-
moniai Assistance.
"There is one thing want distinctly
understood said the only daughter of
the household. as she cornered her
parents and looked as though she were
issuing proclamation Of war. II want
40 more interference In my affairs, so
far as the young men who come here
are concerned. I'm old enough to ex-
ercise my own opinions. You two act
as though you thought some young
man was trying to marry the whole
family. and that 1t devolves upon you
to make satisfactory selections. You
have succeeded in running off two or
three for whom had special liking,
and now call halt. That's my ulti-
matum.'
"See here, Gladys, I'll not permit
any such talk to your father. Iguess
we know what is best for you, and we
certainly have your welfare TT heart
I give you to distinctly understand"
ri do distinctly understand. You
broke my last engagement by sitting
at the table and telling George that 1
baked the hot biscuits that never
saw until they were served. One dose
of them ruined his digestion, and l
don't blame him for not risking his
life with such supposed danger as a
constant menace"
Then she fed in tears, and the pair
manner that tended to revive. the old
colundrum as to whether marriage is
. failure-New York Press.
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
ONLY WANTED INFORMATION

ONLY WANTED INFORMATION.
AS 1t Is Capt. Frank COINS business
to build trolley roads, he always pa
tronizes them on principle whenever
possible and eschews cabs. When he
emerged from the Hotel Marie An
toinette the other day cab driver ac-
costed him with the regulation, "Keb,
sir, keb?"
"How much to the Long Island
ferry?"
1.-TWO dollars, sir"
mo"
"All right, sir; make it dollar and
a half"
us that your lowest?"
Eyes, sir; isn't that cheap cnough?"
ooh, suppose so"
"All right then. Jump in"
ooh, don't want a cab only
wanted to find out how much l would
save by taking street car
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
Hev. Djddie. piddle.

Let MS fly" urged the Dish.
'Lawls-a-day!" giggled the spoon,
yielding in sweet confusion. "A'ybody'd
think you was Loving Cup"
That is to say, the ancient rhyme re-
lates the fact not otherwise than as it
was, but with an infelicity paucity OF
detail-PEk.
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
Find skeletons Of MISSING Men.

The skeletons Of four men who mys-
teriously disappeared there, between
two days, twenty years ago, have been
discovered in an old water hole near
Quartrite, Ariz. They were on their
way to California and no doubt were
murdered for their money.
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
A Sense Of Fairness.

do you believe that army officers
ought to marry none but rich girls?"
"WeH." said Mrs. Cumrox, thought
fully. II don't see why she might not
as weN let our money go to the army
as to the foreign nobility"
ton Star
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
opium SMOKING in French Port.

Opium smoking has reached i'm
mense proportions in the French ports
on the Mediterranean sea. Laws have
been passed in Marseilles and Toulon
forbidding the rolling of pills" in pub.
lie places in those cities.
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
Evidently a Mistake

HIM envy Jack de Borem. He
takes life so easy.
Her-You must be mistaken as to
his taking life easy.
Him-Why do you think so?
Her--He tried to talk me to death
last night.-Chicago News.
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
Duchess Is poa Fancier.

The duchess of Manchester, former.
ly Miss Zimmerman of Cincinnati, is
spending large sums on her pet dogs.
and now has taken up the fad Of hay-
ing her pets manicured several times
day.
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
STAT, or ONO. CRY OF Tolrpo, :.

hVUAs COUNTY. no.
FRANK J. CBEEKY makes oath that he 10 senior
partner of the Arm of +. j. CnENKY d Co, doing
business in the City of Toledo. County and State
aforesaid, and that said firm win pay the sum Of
ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for each and every
case of CATARnH that cannot be cured by the Of
HALLS CAvAKRH CURE.
FRANK j. CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscribed In my pres
snce, this 9Th day OF December, A. ID. 1856.
49,, A. w. GLEASON,
NOTARY PUBLIC.
Halls Catarrh Cum Ia taken internally and acts
directly on the blood and mucous surfaces Of the
system. Send for Testimonials, free.
+. j. CHENEY & CO., Toledo. o.
Sold by all Druggists, TIC.
Take Hairs Family Pills for constipation.
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06

again, shouted rather impatiently:
Speak 'up, cannot hear you" Mr..
Hay, Mr.. Hay" Mr. what?" MIR.
Hay-h-a-y hay, dried grass-Secre-
tary Hay. Do You hear me now?"
And he said he did.
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
The Guide

Tourist say, guide, what does that
memorial stone commemorate?
Guide-I put it there. it was upon
that spot tourist once gave me s
francs.-Tit-Bits.
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
A Coincidence.

Darby was telling a whopper about
a thing he said he had witnessed.
"Well, SIR" he said, 81 could hardly
believe my eyes,"
Strange coincidence" BEETLES re-
sponded. 81 can hardly believe your
ongue"-Brooklyn Eagle.
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
clears for Russian soIdier..

A Prussian firm, has received an
order from the Russian government
for 100000 cigars for the army in
Manchuria. They are to cost $1.20 a
hundred.
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE nav
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets All d,u,.
gists refund the money II 1t fails to cure E. W.
Groves signature 10 on each box. Csc.
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
Earned.

Henpeck. what do you think Of =
man who marries for money?"
Think he earns every cent he gets. :.
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06

nrst dGy's use Of Dr.. Hines Great Nerve ReStS
H.: Sena tor FREE IL. 90 trial bottle and trestisS
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
The Cashier.

Caller-Will the cashier be away
long?
Office Boy-It depends entirely on
the jury.-Chicago Daily News.
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06

Piso's Cure is the best medicine MA .v.. ,,..
ZOE al directions OF the throat and ;ungs.-Wn.
=. ENDsLEr, Vanburen. Ind. Feb. 10, 1900.
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06

Mr., Mr.. Winelcw's Soothing syrup.
5eetnng softens the gums, reduces ~
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06

The chief reason some women Ike
some men is because the men do not
especially care for them.
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06

bottle. "U'A 'n0
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06

A mistake may be misfortune. but
II were cruel to call it crime.
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06
A RRlEF CORRESPONDENCE.


A West Virginia coal operator who
is represented in New York by his son
recently wrote the following letter
concerning a shipment of bituminous
coal:
- -, October 16, 1904.
Jim:
DAD"
In a few days the following answer
was sent.
New York, October %, 1904.
Dad:
"JIM."
Translated into the vernacular this
reads: Jim, see my coal on. Dad"
Dad, coal on. jim"
The Sisseton weekly standard. (Sisseton, Roberts County, S.D.) 1892-1929, 1905-01-06

a chronic kicker is never out Of 4