Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-01-28

mansion, stopped the man and courteously
inquired IL he was on his way to see the
President.
In Afiiuent Circumstances.
Yes replied the dignified-iooking.
gray-haired man, confidentially buttonhoi-
ing the doorkeeper. Il desire particularly
to see Mr.. Roosevelt in order to furnish
him with the sinews of war for the prose-
cution OF the criminal trusts Perhaps you
do not recognize me- he went on lowering
his voice, but am the celebrated Croesus-
Croesus Midas Golddust Is my full name,
but that is immaterial. This gigantic cop
per kettle. pointing solemnly to his head,
which, as you no doubt observe. fs 346
feet in circum ference, is filed to overflow
ing with pure gold coins. each coin OF
which has market value of seven quadrfi-
lions of dollars. Thus you will perceive
that I am far from want. therefore de-
sire to assist Mr.. Roosevelt In Furnishing
the criminal trusts
Well, that's lot Of money you've got.
remarked the doorkeeper as II stunned at
the immensely of the mans wealth. But
IN afraid you'll need 1t all. Let me tell
you something in strict confidence-it's not
generally known yet, and I'd like to have
you keep II to yourself till the news be-
comes public property: At meeting of the
cabinet held only this morning. It was de-
cided to raise the price of beef to forty
seven septillions Of dollars per pound, and
everything else including bread, is to go UP
In price accordingly
"'You-don't-say-sov exclaimed Croesus
Midas Golddust, with expression OF
acute alarm. and, tightly clutching his
walking stick. he charged out of the gate
as swiftly as his long legs would carry him.
He never came back, either.
Henry Was Mistaken.
Zone day, while Gen. Harrison was Pres
ident. very short. thickset man with her.
culean shoulders and unsettled eyes sailed
IN ho full
head Of steam He had so much momen-
tum that two doorkeepers had difficulty in
bringing him to a halt when he passed
through the door. but they finally got the
arm-clutch on him on either side, and po-
litely asked him whittier away.
'Sh-sh-shr Kissed the squat big Shout
dered man, placing his finger warningly to
his lips. 1 just met Henry Of Navarro
down the street, and he had the impudence
to tell me that l was shorter in stature
than Ben Harrison 1 want to see Ben and
measure up with him. How many heads
taller than Ben am I, anyhow
Why, said one Of the doorkeepers.
you're so much taller than the President
that you wouldn't be able to see him at all
unless you reclined fiat on the floor. Along
side of Mr.. Harrison you're a redwood tree
of California compared to park shrub
AN expression of profound satisfaction
crept into the short mans face
And so Henry of Navarro told me what
wasn't so? said he. wistfully.
" Sure5t thing you know, said the door
keeper. -
And I'm the tallest man that ever
lived?' inquired the queer one.
" If Goliath was on earth you'd make
him look If his growth was stunted when
he was four months DID, solemnly replied
the doorkeeper.
" oh. joy! Whish! Whooshi Wheel ex-
claimed the understood man, bubbling over
with happiness, and out he went at jog
trot, nor did he ever call again for the pur-
pose of standing back to back with Pres
ident Harrison.
To Warm a President
Another eccentric who called at the
White House during the regime of Gen.
Harrison had his arms pinned to his sides
the moment after he stepped over the
threshold, for he no sooner passed the
main door than his right hand Travelled to
his rear pocket. 1t looked Ike preparation
for a gun play, and the doorkeepers had
him in no time. The man looked greatly
surprised over this treatment, and when
the doorkeepers felt his back pocket and
found that 1t contained weapon they
turned him loose and looked him over.
What was your idea in going to that
hind pocket| inquired one of the doorkeep-
ers.
My motive replied the man, far from
being Interior or vicious. was purely phil
anthropic. 1 am Informed through the me-