davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28

he ways of women are beyond the
comprehension of mere man." said her
companion as after purchasing her
stamps at the general postofiice shs
carried her mail TO the nearest posi-
box. will you kindly explain why
you did tllat"
simply because hadn't time to sort
my mail into Letters. Newspapers and
Packages, Foreign. Domestic, New
York City and Il few dozen other sub
divisions and then walk around that
monstrous building to find the proper
drops for the various articles" she re-
piled. 'it takes time patience and in
genllity to post anything in the genera,
postotiice and don't possess any OF
those things. Give me the plain. un-
complicated letter box for practical
purI,oses..'
And of course he remarked that that
WAS just like Il woman. New York
Press
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28
A GRisLY SIGHT.
Slaughter of the baby Seals ON the
differing lee ElOcs.

Never shall /; man who has once
watched the slaughter Of fur scui
herd forget the CHASTITY sight. From
the deck of the blunt nosed sealing
steamer you can count thousands upon
thousands of seal families stretched
out on the slistening ice foes, the dark
notified bodies Of the adults standing
out in high relief against the blue white
ness of their floating homes, while the
snow white fur Of the baby seal blends
almost imperccptibly into the back
ground. Out from the ship. hurryins
over the ice, rush nearly 900 men OF
the crew. each armed with an iron
tipped club. From near and far go up
the asonizcd cries Of the terrified seals.
Flopping along over the ice, the adults
rush frantically for the water, doing
their best to hurry their young with
them
In most cases their way Of escape is
cut Off by the sealers. With a blow OF
the iron bound club the skull Of the
seal pup is crushed. its blood staining
the whitcncss of the foe while its
parents are allowed to get away Iii
safety Technical World Magazine.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28
DEAF TAKE POOR PICTURES.
Their lnfirmit, elves Them u Hard.
Fixed Expression.

"Tlat isn't Il good picturc," said q
photographer, With an air of apology.
'The man was deaf"
How cam that iulirmity affect tho
picture" asked Il visitor.
''lt gives his face Il tense, strained
look" said the photographer. IAN deaf
persons nave That expression when
placed before Il camera. They sit w..h
their heads tilted forward and eye
blows upii!'ted. a.; il waiting f,r tho
command TO look pleasant Generally,
! suppose. THAT j., What they arc wait
Ing for. Eul even after have given
the order ID brace their muscles refuse
to relax.
WHATS ,lla:: says the deaf man
when he sees my lips move.
"'i.ooli pleasantly shout again.
"'Oh. says he.
"lle takes Ills hand from behind his
car and tries to assume Il bauming
countcnance, hnt he only compromises
on Il fixed glare None of the de-
vices known To the Photographic trade
cam disiicl That In fact the more
business Introduce TO charm my sub
jcct into IL joyful state the more rigid
his facial muscles become He is listen
ing always for further Instructions
Whether they come on not, the look OF
expectancy is there. For that reason
the Gcnf are tine hardest people in the
worth 10 photograph. III am artists
reputation depended upon the pictures
L..
Obliged 10 go out o! business" ES
f.li.,i,f..
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28
Rebukcd From. tn. rulpit.

OH Wilberfolce told II good story Of
the celebrated Welsh preacher. Christ
nns Evans, who dared publicly to eX-
press his tllanltulness for Jenny I.ind's
beautiful singing. a member of his
congregation, Il strntuced Calvinist
standing on the steps of the pulpit.
asked the preacher whether IL man dy
ing AT one Of I"nny Lnd's concerts
would % to heaven. Sir" replied Mr..
Evans, II Christian will 80 to heaven
wherever he dies; nut fool remains ii
fool even on the pui,it steps" Even
the sober abbey congregation could
hardly stilic its enjoyment Of this
rcpartcc.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28
SLAVERY IN CHINA.
Savage Cruelty Metcd Out For the
Most vcnial OHenscs.

Says an editorial III the Peking
Times: '.lhc position of the slave girl
in Il Chinese home is a very hard one as
a rule. These slaves are generally the
property of the wife, and no one inter-
fcres with the mistress in her treat
ment of the poor little things, who will
as often as not be subjected to the
most savage cruelty for most venial Of
fcnses. y few weeks ago we recall o
case OF great hardship being brought
into the mixed court, Shanghai, In
which IL small slave girl had been gag
gea with IL piece of iron and severely
beaten because. when half starved, she
helped herself to some scraps of food.
Our attention has now been called
to piercing cries which cmanate from 81
house near Canton road and are said to
proceed from 81 little slave girl who for
some reason is beaten almost daily
with thick knottcd rope, but for what
reason IL unknown.
Our informant thinks II word In
public. showing that the incident has has
been noticed. may suffice :, cl,cc:i the
cruelty without lodging Il formal COM
D.aint with the municipal police, which
might make matters worse for the poor
little sufferer in the long run"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28
MOVED UPSTAIRS.
A Flat Dweller's Change THAT ".
Not Born Of Economy.

Fiat DWeller's Change That Was
Not Born of Economy.
Within two days after the second
floor :nmily moved to the fourth noor
their Ncquaintances We're circulating
the report that the head of the familF
had his salary reduced and had moved
UP TWO flights TO cut down expenses.
After that it didn't take long for tho
mans wife to hear what other people
had heard. She Indignantly denied tha
rumor
John Is ul! right" she said. ut isnt
his fault that we moved upstairs; it's
mine. My motive was not ut all cred.
table. hadn't intended to tell any
body about 1t. hut since Johns reputa-
tion as IL business man is ut stake Sc.
I've got to own up. We moved to
get even with the family on the third
floor. During all those months that ws
lived below them they tormented tho
life out Of me and my girls by cleanin.
house OH my wash day. They took
particular pains with their rugs The
appearance OF my newly washed
clothes on the line was the signal for
them to hang their rugs out Of their
own back windows and give them ).
good beating. by the time those rug,
We're renovated my clothes were ready
for the tubs again. Week after week
protested. The janitor's sympathy
was finally enlisted in my behalf. but
not even he could change the pro-
srummc for beating those rugs. After
suffering nt the hands of my enemies
for IL whole year determined upon re-
venge. The only way to get it was t,
move upstairs. We moved. and now
have the satisfaction of giving their
clothe; IL case Of spotted measles by
shaking my rugs over them"-New
York Press.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28
.rra,. ,i,l,ro.,inls

An old i,igi.si spori C':it .iti!l sur-
wives from l..c a;i,'s whc:i tlia LOW and
arrow Were il i;e is that of arrow
throwing. ;tii,l in parts Of Yorkshire ii
is stll made olis. of the features of atll-
lctic meets. !.!c arrows are straight,
shafts three feet long. without either
barb c. fc:.tl.a.. and are thrown by the
the t!lroN-cr's Land and about the butt
Of Tie a:'!'ow y slsillful mNn can send
the arrow $50 Ids. though it requires
some cHp,r:e::cc to cause the arrow to
leave Tie string ,.'itliout tangling Cncc
tlio i!,an': is acquired the sport is said
to be moe l;,;einatin:s than putting the
shot oi. tilrowi:,., the hammer.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28
The Vocal Cords.

Vocal power depends on the voca.
cords. When they are stretched, SO
narrowing the ext from the air pas
they are pulled widely asunder the
voice is deep. When they are tiaccid
the voice is nearly lost. or course.
voices v#:y individually in pitch and
resonance, but power is always af-
.ectcl ly the state of the general
health, and, broadly speaking, loss Of
nerve tone Is more often responsible
illun anything else for vocal weakness.
East living, mental strain and similar
conditions occasion such impairment
ot the nervous system. Breathing foul
air, especially air saturated with to-
bacco smoke, 4, bad for the cords.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28
Temperature. and butterflies.

Some remarkably interesting expert
uiamts are reported from Zurich show
ing the effect Of temperature OH the de-
velopiAent OF species among butter
flies. The experiments have been con-
tinucd through II period Of about four
teen Years. and 1t Is found, for instance.
that the common small tortoise shell
butterfly If subjected to warmth of
from 81 degrees to 80 degrees cent?
grade develops into the variety found
in Sardinia. while those bred in tenn
pc,ature of from 4 degrees to 6 degrees
produce the L.apland variety. Similar
ly the application of heat produced the
Sardinian form of the swalIowtail but
teri!y and the Syrian form Of the
Apollo
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28
LIFE IN PENANG.
Tic Misery and the Discomfort. OF
tsc Rainy Season.


tic Rainy Season.
n resident of Penang thus describes
the rainy season there: Our rains have
i,et in With all their attendant comforts
and disconforts. and they make one
feel something like Robinson Crusoe
When he made up the list of his bless
ings and evils. The planters are all re-
joicing and are putting out their seed
lings and cuttings and generally doing
all they should do. The bullocks are
beginning to fill out those ugly hollows
between their ribs and about tneir
tlanks, for the grass on their limited
pastures Is growing rich and rank, and
by ii. Our trees have all put on new
coats of brilliant green, and the whole
place wears II newly washed appear
ance. very comforting after the dusty.
lry season in which our soup tastes
gritty and Il piece of bread and butter
seems to have had II bit of sandpapcr
glued on the butter side. But even our
ruins have their disadvantages
when | come home. thoroughly wet
and diSgustcd With everything. and 60
to bed Immediately after dinner the
roof commences to leak. and l have to
get out and shift the bed. interview
the landlord i'm the morning, and he
tells me roofs can't he repaired In the
rain and that in all probability as soon
as the tiles swell the roof will become
water tight OF it's own accord. That
doesn't care either my lumbago or
rheumatism. and when take my bath
discover we are OH the Adler Itam wa
ter service and have to bathe i'm pea
soup.
II mention the fact to the municipal
president over Il stcngah Mt the club
and he says, My dear boy I'm on the
same service and have been combing
mud out of my hair for IL week This
doesn't make me feel any cleaner. The
lizards on the ceiling arc waxing fat
from the insects which arc driven into
the house by the rain, and notice that
the soup ut dinner seems to have more
body in it from the same cause. This
does not improve my temper Chicago
News.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28
THE CRY MAN.
laIs Lot b. Life Compared with rhae
of the Farmer.

According to the National Magazine.
men III the cities work twice as hard
as the farmers. and they get few or no
holidays. Thousands and thousands OF
professional men. clerks and men in
small business enterprises delvc and
toll their entire lives away and ut tho
enu arc cartcu out to the cemeteries
without having had amy more leisure
or enjoyment in their lives than Il horse
on Il ueadmill. The rut they toll along
iii Is rs n;.,.Gw as Il case knife" This
Is not the farmers view OF the city
man. whom he sees only during vaca-
ton. N.!fn tho city man Is taking
y... ANA nllch needed rest. The farm
= SIS l..a sporting his glad rags"
AMI mistakenly imag.nc.s him to be all
thr year round only an he butterfly.
o:!su..';"s the produce OF tie horny
/. .id,u ,5.l of toll. The truth. it Is
=; !. is tlat the city n!:ii!. ,ss :. rule, is'
'l.' ..ar..er worker and gets much less
ESQ. iile:t ont of life. Iie longs for the
rMlal scenes; and occupations of the
far!:r,'; H., dearest hope Is to get back
~ & country to spend his last years.
NJ of the city folks make IL big lot
vi n.sacy and get their follics and
Hnn.. .m!cs.;s in the newspapers. but the
.rcat majority of city tolcrs live n
very E,onotonous and stupid as we'll as
81 very laborious and poverty stricken
life. The flr,ncr, it Is concluded, has
.'thc real thing" while the city man
has only barren aspirations and disap-
pointments The contented farmer Is
not only the wIsest but the happiest
IT mankind Baltimore Sun.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28
BInrl, tluir Slron;.t..t

Black hair j. stronger tllm golden
tirsses and Viii smstilin almost double
the weight. Recently :. German scicn
tist has been experimenting ;..il has
found that il is possible 10 s;l ;ocnd Il
weight OF foai' ounces by !: silS.c hair.
provided the hair be back. Elo;il ha.r
will give wty ut varying weight; !. Dc
pendent upon The exact tint. n yellow
hair will scarce support taio ounces. II
brown will Hold up three without
breaking. while Il very o,;lr.l brown VIII
sustain an additional half ounce.
The ;src:ltni' Vitality Of the blark hair
IS declared 10 'DS Tic reason for ti!c IRE
ponicranrc of blond bald hc:l,i&;, ;,i!d,
according To tli, eXperianentci', Il per
son with jet I.l;,ck hair will still enjoy
Il full growth Mlliic the blond Will hay,
been llld fo,- @;.vrn ;.iI II half years.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28
Ti.c I.usurious I.om.4ns.

The Romans had no flower shows
There were "blr:id and circuscs," but
hot bread and flowers. The luxurious
ties ut his banuucts. II was Il fine joke
to have roses fall from above on guests
reclining at their tables and the flow
ers in such quantities as to smother
them. writer recalls 81 picture Of AL
ma Tadcma's The Rose Feast of
Elagabalus,' which shows the super
abundance of roses. To spend on a
banquet in roses 100000 sesterces,
equivalent to about SlGo,OOO, is record
ed by Suctonius, but possibly Suetonius
eXaggcrates.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28
Hereditary Names.

According to the invariablc custom Of
the Duke of Itichmond's family, it is
prescribed that the eldest son and the
eldest son of the eldest son shall be
named after King Charles H., to whom
they owe so much. The same principle
is preserved in Lord Salisbury's family,
where the eldest sons are named James,
after James L.. who bestowed the carl
dom Of Salisbury and viscounty of
Cranborne on the original founder of
the house.-London Graphic.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28
The Liberty Boxs.

The name Of Liberty Boys is the name
by which the Sons Of Liberty of the
American Revolution were Familiarity
known. They We're the men who fought
the first battles Of the colonists. who
opposed the stamp act and participated
In the Boston tea party. a flag hoisted
upon the Flagstaff that stood beside
Liberty tree. in Hanover square, Bos-
ton, was the signal at which they as
sembletl.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

Almost every one has need of more
sense than he has
Ever notice that when your judg
mcnt gets in its work il is too late?
y great many men Imagine they
would be governor if the office really
sought the man.
1t is awfully hard to believe that
the man who catches you stealing jam
found you ait it accidentally.
When q wilowcr is having Il love af-
fair. he must wonder what idiot wrote.
The whole world loves Il lover"
When people are too easy with you,
be careful. They may be letting out
enough rope for you to hang yourself
with.
Occasionally Il man marries to prove
that he can Go as he liruses and finds
when that is done that he no longer
cam. AtclliSon Globe
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28
London Lancet.
odd pli.I,t of ~ Deer

"Stran2e HccGcnt:, will sometimes
happen t. ,.ccr," writes II Scotch hunt
e;. IN hind in Caithllcs.i came to some
croft@r's li:t Ec:lr tho forest and was
poi,ing tl1ol,t 10 ec il there was amy
thing she could pick up when she found
ail o.% Tia pail lying in some out of the
way conner. In went her nose and
down came the handle behind her ears.
Il.en somehow the Whole pail slipped
down her Ecs.li, and there she WAS,
caught She Mas seen several times
with her strange necklace. which pre-
vented her from drinking or feeding
properly. The c!atter when she got
under way WAS tremendous. and the
other deer wore frightened for mites.
Several unsuccessful attempts We're
made on her life. Int never heard the
sequel. Anyhow, She must have died
soon tlon nervous prostration, coupled
with tll, shoc.;. or from some lldyiIie
disease of ii.ai sort
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28
Mrs. Frank Pierce and daugh-
ter Minnie, spent Christmas at

Mrs. Frank Pierce and daugh-
ter Minnie, spent Christmas at
Morehead.
George Cooper's team ran
away when he was going home,
on Christmas night, overturn-
ing the buggy and throwing
the occupants out, two of the
children were hurt but not seri-
ously.
Little John Tucker was buri-
ed in the Magnolia Cemetery
last Sunday. He was operated
on for appendicitis some ten
days ago.
Mable Mickey is at home from
school to spend the holidays.
Mr.. and Mrs. Abby Noyes are
rejoicing over the arrival of a
little girl, which arrived at their
home Dec. 23rd.
Ben Ogden, of Council Bluffs,
visited with his parents, Mr..
and Mrs. R. R. Ogden, Christ
mas.
Otto Nelson visited with rel
atives at Woodbine the fist of
the week.
Prof. Sykes gave his music
class a rest during Christmas
week.
Miss Agnes McCabe returns
from Colorado Thursday to re-
main a month with her parents
Mr.. and Mrs. Terry McCabe, of
Raglan townshis. Miss Leota
Powers, of Winsor, comes with
her.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28

O!ic of the best known of fcltier2l
rcitlrcs in Iiliil is l!ie paddy b.rd \
Traveller says Of him The paddy bird
Is not afflicted with sllynei-'. Ike is
far too lazy u be disturbed 10y the APP
proach Of human beings. So conndlng
is he that the natives of India call
him the blind lcron ! once saw one
of these birds standing l.iotionlcss at
the waters edge within ten feet of Il
grunting, pcrSpiling washcrman. who
was dashing some clothes TO pieces
against stone in Il dirty duck pond.
That is the way washing is done in In
din. Neither Individual took the least
notice of the other"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28
Mendalnin Items.

Christmas of 1905 will long
be remembered as one of the
most beautiful and pleasantst Of
December days.
John Ruffcorn has bought the
butcher shop frnm Delbert Pen
nington.
L. d. Ruffcorn has started a
butcher shop in the building
formerly occupied by Duff Ha-
garman.
Harry Smith is at home to
spend the Christmas holidays.
VIM. Wonder, of the Onawa
Democrat, visited with his faith
er and mother over Christmas.
Frank Macadon, of Little
Sioux, and Clara Adams, were
married on Saturday Dec. %.
Mrs. Carrie Buck is at home
with her father, A. Spooner, to
spend the winter.
Mrs. Blair and children, and
Mrs. Barker, are spending the
Christmas holidays with rela-
tives, at Grand Island, Neb.
James Noyes has sold his res
idence property and lots to Mr..
Mark Remington, a n d has
bought uncle Rus Ogdan'splace.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28
The UIxi,..t nc.lr.,or,.

On the sum@iit of Mont Blame is the
highest bcdrooal in the world. 1t was
built for .llpinists who have been over
taken by Il storm OH the summit or
have lost their way III the SHOWS. A
large camp bed occupies all the floor Of
the room. and can contain twenty-five
persons. Every stick and stone had to
be car.ied up by portcrs from Chamo-
nix. The work Of construction, which
lasted two years. was dangerous to the
workmen. During its erection the
building was demolished twice and
filed with snow nine times.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28
HuEOn's Chim;,unzce.

The English Illustrated Magazine
says that "Eulfon had a chinlpanZcc ill
l1lO which always walked upright. OF
fercd people his arm. walked with them
in an ordcs.y manner, sat down to ta
bic like man, opened his napkin ana
wiped hi, lip; with it, made use OF
spoon and fork, poured out wine anu
clinked glusses.'
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28
Sizing Linn In.

81 believe can trutlfully say" re-
marked the self complacent man. that
have only one fault, and that's a
small one"
"lcs,' replied the candid man
THAT'S just like the hole in nickel.
1t may be Il small hole, but it makes
tie nickel no good" Philadelphia
Press.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28
Trust. Ncr.u. I.inr..

"What." qucricl the fair maid, sis
the difference between !, trust and u
ring!'
I'm afraid | cannot explain The diff
ference in so nlany words" replied the
young man in the ease. but if You'll
put your trust in me I'll blow myself
Cor the ring tomorrow"
And she put her trust in him.-Chi-
cago News.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28
(yuc.e He Cct, it;s.

Applicant G.: the pcariy satcs)- May
comn in: st. What business
were you c,,,.ss lged in OH earth: .lppli-
can't II owned several apartment
houses. AND st. Peter Gntcrruptng,
Sorry. but l'Il afraid the children here
would annos you. Go bump the bumps.
Chicago News
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28
PruycrfuI Kcycncc.

A puritan preacher nanlel Boyd was
In the habit Of inveighing against
Cromwell Secretary T'hurlow inform
ri the latter, advising him to have the
man shot. Hes !; fool. and you're
said the protector. "I'll pay
him out in his own coin" He asked
Boyd to dinner and before giving him
any prayed for three hours
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28
Surelx Sat.

Customer-Can't you wait upon me?
I've been here for nearly an hour. Two
pounds Of liver, please. Butcler-Sor-
ry, but there are three or four ahead
Of you. Surely you don't want your
liver out of orGery
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1905-12-28

Mira Go!itely made particularly
fine cake the other day.
''io.. Go you know|'
u l.appcaed to ovcrhear her telling
her guest ut the table that she be-
loved j. VA; the worst cake 3 had
eyer p.adc." San Francisco Call.