The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08

Amt the man that does the work
Washington etsir.
Il HUMOR OF TEE Day
Howell consulted a clairvoyant when
Powell-Was she any good?
n, Howellmshe ought to have BEEN s she she
enty-seventh son.-Puck.
Soon will the sweet girl graduate
Down to the footliEhts trot
And tell US how to keep the state
Louisville Courier Journal.
Here. Maria, here is a story about 30
Buffalo women who cooked on one stove
single auarrel ali mat hat time lime 'A' '''
what an amiably stupid lot they must
have been cleveland Plain Dealer.
She-They say that every woman has
a secret sorrow. Do you believe it?
He-Well, she may have the sorrow
all rlght-but it's no secret!-Detroit
Free Press.
Young Lady tailor madeo-Take my
Old Lady tnear-sighted. but gratefuQ-
Thank you, sir. You are the only gentie-~
man in the car.-London 'Tit-Bits.
What reason does he give for not
paying his wife alinony?'
He says that marriage is lottery, and
hence alimony is a gambling debt
Golfers Weekly.
Mrs. Bickering-There YOU go again!
You are always finding fault.
= B3iekering.That's right. my dear. And
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Barber-Razor all right, sir?
Pati0nt-I wouldn't know = was being
shaved.
Barber-Thank you, sir.
Patient-It's more like being f1ayed, you
know.-Cleveland Leader.
the mayoralty to President Roosevelt
when he finishes his present job
motion. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Don't you think the custom of throw
idiotic?' asked the auffy-haired maid
eloS ush wonia se s eld bach
appropriate. Chicago News.
us higgins wen informed MANI"
80. He ought TO be-" replied Miss Cayenne;
his wife belongs to three sewing socie-
ties and progressive euchre club.-Wash-
ington Star.
After a long, weary search the man
How do you like your job?' we in
CURED ire at, At the &c end Of the the, first week
but for one thing"
What is that?''
They're mighty, slow about offerin' me
a day OF. "-Philadelphia Bulletin.
Miss Gadd-There goes Jack Poorlev.
MY! he looks as solemn an undertaken
Mr.. -Batcneilor.No wonder; he's going
TO undertake a wife next week.-Philadel-
phta Press.
sationalist; she seldom says a word. I
can't understand why so many men pro-
II cam sighed Henpeck.-Houston
Prospective Boarder-Is there any dam
ger of catching the malaria here?
Hank Doolittle-No; not if We keep in
rainy days and on say on Ut e tn a0 0d
quinine. there ain't!-Puck ~
tLawd,''. prayed the old colored deacon.
,,pL, please give US, in dis WORT whar we
but wen we gifts dizzy wild it, en- goes
ter eelebratin' too much. des send long
in de boat. en- Wen be mighty thankfui.h
Atlanta Constitution.
Gaddie-I don't believe they're engaged
now.
Henpeck-Why?
Gaddie-Because they quarrel so con-
Henpeck-Tn bet they've been secretly
marr1ed.-Philadelphi Ledger.
Mrs. De styIe-why in the world did YOU
buy those trained feas?
Mrs. Van Nobb-Because, as 1 Simply
cannot keep Fido from acquiring them, I
thought I would at least prefer to have
him supplied with an educated kind
Louisville Courier.
During the South African war the CEN
sorsnlp OF soldiers letters home was very
strict. One soldier. who always sent an
account of the doings of the regiment,
winch account was always blotted out by
the censor, laid a plan for revenge. At the
loot OF his next letter he wrote: Look
under the stamp. The censor did so, af-
the stamp from the. envelope. And he
found these words: WAS it hard to get
off?'-Exchange
Beaks-I have decided never to marry
until find my ideal.
Peaks-What sort of girl is your idealT
Beaks-Anything that wears skirts and
has $50,Ooo.-Milwaukee Sentinel.
Mrs. Rash-Are the Cashes, next door.
really mad at your
Mrs. Dash--Oh, yes; they have quit Dor
rowing our lawn mower, hammock and
porch chairs.-Brooklyn Life.
Mrs. Won Blummer-We can't get any
guests to stay here with that new butler
Won Blumer-Why, I thought he was
HE is. That's the trouble. No one
dares give him a tip of less than ten dol
lars. Life.
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
from the Philadelphia Record.1
The chronic lxfckar ofxaa I;xye- g.. IT,