Alaska sentinel., 1905-11-23
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 that $50 hat you bought last week?' "oh! he just rayed over it."-Grit. Tommy-Pop. what are hlccoughs? Tommy's Pop-Hiccoughs. my son, are messages from departed spirits Philadelphia Record
 Wlfe-John, you've been drinking. o. can tell. Husband-Wel.d don't do 1t. m'dear. Let'sh keep it family Shecret Philadelphia Press. Jeffreys-How does your brother take married life: Esther-Accord- Ing to directions His mother -ln-law Is living with him.-Brooklyn Life He-But I thought you'd forgiven me for that and promised to forget it: She-Yes-hut I didn't promise to let you forget I'd forgiven it.-Punch. First Insurance Magnate-What is your fayorite theatrical production? Second Insurance Magnate-"Other Peoples Money. ."-Baltimor Ameri- can.
 She-And do you really love me for myself alone: He-Sure. That's why l don't want your mother to live with us after we are marrIed.-SomervIlle Journal
 MT, Snooks-To what, sir, do you at tribute your success as a salesman? MT. Sellem-If customer doesn't see what he wants l make him want what he eeS-Cleyelend eoder
 Madge-Did Charlie propose to you out in the auto? Dolly thought he was going to, but he didn't. When he got down on his knees. It was only to crawl under the old machine.-Puck.
 Can you get woik for me-" asked the willing young man. I'm afraid not replied the Congressman, but I can get you government Job, If that will help any."-Chicago Daily News.
 Mrs Browne-I wonder If the new order of things wili reform Mir Lusch- ley to any extent He's married. understand. Mrs Malaprop-Yes, he's a benedictine now.-Philadelphi Press.
 He-I shall work hard, oh, ever so hard, and, in year or two, we'll have our own little home in the country. She-Oh. how lovely. We can rent 1t and board in town, can't we, dear?- Brooklyn Life.
 Chicago used to aspire to be lit erary center" Yes" answered the . the best thing published there ''The timetable. showing when trains leave. Washington Star.
 "Ah," she sighed, sometimes I can hardly convince myself that am not growing old" Well" her dearest friend replied, that's what comes of having mirrors scattered all around the house. Chicago Record Herald.
 He hasn't been in politics very long, has he?" No. but how did you know:' "I was walking with him to- day just as police patrol wagon dashed up behind us and he didn't start gulltily or look nervous at all" Philadelphia Ledger.
 Don't you think 1t is wrong for your husband to bet on horse races?" said the prudent woman. Tt Is, very frequently" answered young Mrs. Tor. kins. ''The trouble Is that you can't tell when until after the race is run, and then it's too late. te."-Washlngton Star.
 nE.a pAu-UThr did up yer job at Biffum & Bangs? Sec ond Office Boy-Why, couldn't stand old Bangs impotence. He had de crust ter tell me, right ter me face and before de hull office. ter git out uv de place and never come back. Dat wuz de last straw.-Life.
 The Doctor-I have just returned from a weeks shooting trip up north The Drugglst-Kill anythingi The Doctor-No; not a thing. The Drug gist-Huh, You could have done bet ter than that by staying at home and attending to your regular business.-- Chicago Daily News.
 T suspect" said Mrs. Oldcastle, that our ne" WiHlster ls Il tTullsCeu- dentalist" "Oh,' replied her hostess, as she carelessly tossed her rope of pearls over the back of the chair, do you think so? My. I'd hate to be one of them. should think they'd fall downstairs or something, gettin up and prowlin around that way fin their sleep "-Chicago Record Herald.
 T never do things by halves re- marked Biffkins and the waiter at his elbow put on an e1pectant grin. He had only expected a fifty-cent tip maybe the gentleman would give him more. "As I was saying" said Bln- kins, pushing back his chair and ac- cepting his hat, "I never do things by halves. Especially in tipping. al- ways use quarters Here yo1 are.- Cleveland Leader.
 Reward of Virtue.