The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-25
ADE WRITES DIARY
 FOR SANTA CLAUS Kris kringIe to Embark in h.
 surance Business Is HIS LAST APPEARANCE Says, However, That He Will Not Re- tire Entirely From Phianthropic
 Enterprises-Has Many
 Busy Days.
BY GEORGE ADE.

where do, he has asked me as neigh Dor to see that part of his diary for this year he published, in order that the few friends who have stuck may know what he is up against Also he has asked me to state that he does not by any means intend to retire from philanthroplc and missionary enterprises, but will start missionary enterprises but will start graft gets good again. Here are the extracts from his diary:
 December 1--Holiday rush is fairly on and this was my busy day. The first al ways is my busy day, however The col lectors see to that. They keep running across me in places where I never expect to meet them, and l always get hoarse asking them for the fifteenth
 December 2.-My mail is beginning to grow very heavy. I am getting as many requests as a manager does Tor proies- sion matinee Among other things re- ceiyed A letter from patent medicine concern asking for testimonial They enclosed bottle of this stuff, but asked me to write my appreciation pelore sah'- bling. Am saving the sample as pres ent for a prohlbitionist who fixes Whis- ky. Also received an offer from Chicago department store lu poSt iii o''N S- windows the week before Christmas, anu onotber offer from a vaudeville manager to deliver a monologue.
 December 3-Another heavy mall. An anonymous correspondent calls me Pihel P and says that if l want to learn httie about giving away things l shouio at.eho a meeting of the insurance invesughuhs committee. He adds that almost every body has been given away since tilae started Also received a letter from tne in +rust refusing to furnish me with tneH nroduct unless l added to their regular tariff 10 per cent of my gross receip,s' This makes it impossible to have any lli' soldiers this year, whlcn Is iilos. ei barrassing, as I cannot think or ahSlnii's else to give Theodore Roosevelt
 December 4-Today has been one or those strenuous days all right. Irouole started early in the dolls house, where 1t is always starting, Or 10 pc h,ore i, exact. where 1t never stops The ooiis sent for me and refused to act as presents | unlass thev had some new clothes. They | said if was out of the question to ask | them to appear at Christmas tree among a lot of strangers when they had noun | ing new to wear. Then they got warHeo ! to their work and called me hard names l because I never took them out to dinner or 10 the theatre. Also they told me some things about my private character ttiae I had no idea any one had ever guessed and which I would not make pubic TOT the world. l tried to argue with theih' but they beat block.
 December 5.-Trouble In the dolls house still continues Have been too pusy u anu too wise to go there My ears have been burning all day long, but even If they had not I would know what they were talking about. Received letter from Me- Curdy of tho Mutual Life regarding Christmas presents. He wants sl'OOo,ooO for himself, S750000 for his son. same amount for each of his five nephews and | his eighteen cousins. Looks to me like the McCurdy family was pretty good argument in favor of race suicide.
 December GA committed from the dolls called on me this morning. Announced that they all wished to go home to tneir mothers and would start at once 1T they had ever had any. Conrssittee reported that was a brute. Report placed on hle Just before dinner was served with an ir- junction procured by J. Pierpont Morgan 1 which forbids me giving gold prich as Christmas gift
 December 7.-settled the trouble among the dolls by what I consider a master stroke of diplomacy. | organized them into a womans culture club early this morning. and ever since they have been so busy fighting over the offices ana Knocking each other they have had no time to bother about anything else By | will be on speaking terms, and they Will be glad to go to Christmas tree or any thing else where the others will not be, even If they have nothing to wear.
 December s-More trouble. A walking delegate from the Chimney Makers union called on me this morning and announced i flat If I slid down any non-union built chimneys l would be branded as a scab.
 December 9.-More tough luck today. It begins to look as though Jonah and Job were a couple of amateurs in the hoodoo line when you stack them up alongside of me. The Society for the Prevention o[ Cruelty to Animals has notified me that if attempt to drive my reindeer on my customary long trip 1t will have me ninehed It does not seem to figure that | l am an animal and this order Is cruelty to me. It forces me to fall back on one of those gasolene gigs and the naughty persons who run them. I cannot spell or pronounce the name they call themselves and I am too wise to spell or pronounce the names l call them.
 December 10.-Mail heavy today. A number of requests from prominent peo- ple received Chauncey M. Depew writes 10 ask for a few kind words. He says that those are the only things he cannot get nowadays. David Belasco writes to know If there really is such a person as George Henry Lewis. and If so will please put a full set of his works in his (David's) stocking. Charles F. Murphy asks for the best linament I can find. He says that he has been badly stung.
 December 11.--Took preliminary spin over the course in the automobile, &C., companied by the overlord who drives it. | Weather clear, track fast. Uneventful | trip until we reached New York. That is the driver said 1t was uneventful. I was a good deal worked up because we ran over thirteen men, three children, I 6s5 chickens and four and one-ha,l hogs. The driver said that that was nowhere near a good days kill, and he hoped we would have better luck next trip. When we reached New York we tried to go up Broadway and Twenty-third to Twenty fourth street A policeman stopped us and said that If we wanted to make that trip we would have to go back to | Twenty-second street. thence west to | Ninth avenue, thence north to Thirty fifth. thence east to First avenue. thence | north to Thirty-sixth, thence west to | Eighth avenue, thence south to Twenty | third thence east to Broadway. thence | north to Twenty-fourth. [ objected and told him l was Santa Claus, but he said he did not care if 1 were Dr. Parnnurst l would have to go that way on account of rhe traffic regulations.
 December 12.-Secured number of iu- tsresting gifts today. Here is list: For