davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-11-16
Shaved.

"Confound it, sir" cried hysterical
summer boarder, addressing the pro.
prietor of the Palace ice cream parlor
in Pruntytown; see here, what I have
found in my ice cream-it looks like
bunch of whiskers!'
$50 it dooz, for a fact; but don't
understand how it can possibly be
whiskers," was the reply, "fer we
made that ere ice cream with shaved
ice."
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-11-16
Mo Exaoaeration.

"see here" snapped the landlord
who had responded to the tenants
hurry call for plumber. Il thought
you said the water in your cellar was
two feet deep. It's only few inches"
well, that's as deep as my two
feet retorted the tenant, "and that's
too much. Philadelphia Ledger.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-11-16
Hara Il Relief for Woman.

Mother Gray a nurse in New York, dis
covered pleasant herb remedy for women's
ills, called AUSTRALIAN-LEA 1t is the
only certain monthly regulator. Cures
female weaknesses, Backache, Kidney and
Urinary troubles. AT all Druggists or by
mail SO cts. Sample mailed FREE. Address,
The Mother Gray Co., Leroy. N. Y.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-11-16

road ties easily
b u t wrenched
my back and
began to suffer
with backache
an d kid n e =
trouble. I neg
lected it until
ne day a
t W in &c felled
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-11-16
Is Erect $1,000, 900 cathedra,.

Archbishop Jehn ]. Glennon.. head
of the Catholic archdiocese OF st.
Louis, who has been abroad for two
months, has returned. bringing with
him plans for the erection Of q 81 ,000,.
:0oO cathedral. He visited architects
in Paris and Berlin for the purpose
and states that the proposed 81. Louis
cathedral Will be one Of the most i'm.
posing In the country.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-11-16
Enormous Reservoir.

One of the largest works Of mans
hands is the artificial lake or reservoir
in India, at Rajputana. This reservoir.
said to be the largest in the would.
known as the Great Tank OF Dhebar,
and used for irrigating purposes, GOV.
ers an area Of twenty-one square miles.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-11-16
Matchmaking in or Out Of Season

Glow should we get married if there
were no London season." asked the
debutante "Some of you would get
married if you were bricked up in an
ogre's castle and had to be rescued"
said the American millionaire. "And
ten seasons wouldn't marry the rest
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-11-16
No .Strono Ones There.

WELL" said D'Auber, whose mas
terpiece had been rejected. 81 never
realized the truth of the old proyerb
until saw this exhibit"
What proverb?" inquired the
friend
""The weakest must go to the
WALL Philadelphia Ledger.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-11-16
Agreed.

Minister-Well. Pat. Bridget is
dead; but after all, she's better off.
Pat "a little DEAF Eth eh- what's
that, sor-betther off sure am thot
thanky. Houston Post.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-11-16
Location still Unknown,

Noah Fentz--I beg pardon, but
whore have seen you before?
Adam Sawfox You have the adj
vantage OF me. don remember ever
having seen you anywhere before
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-11-16
StarIeioh's Support.

"Who is supporting Starlight this
season."
His wife,"
Ellis wife! Why, never knew she
was on the stage"
"she isn't; but she takes in wash
ing."-Baltimore American.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-11-16
The Unexpected.

Things don't always turn out as we
expect"
That's fact. expected that auto
mobile to turn out to the right and it
turned out to the left, and here I am
In the hospital. Houston Post
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-11-16
Distinctive Difference.

n She-Did it ever occur to you that
nearly all male poets and pianists have
long hair?
He Yes; but there is a distinctive
difference.
SheHow SO?
He The long hair of a poet hangs
down. while that of a pianist stands up.
Chicago News. n.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-11-16
TOO Much to Expect.

rsetry, said the editor, lis a drug
ON the market
oh, indeed! = exclaimed the poet,
hopefully Am to infer that you pay
drug store prices for it?. Catholic
Standard
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-11-16

ErYe permanently cured No nh or nefvousnoo asee0
1st nse Of Dr. Klines Great Nerve Rsstofs
q: esnd Tor EREE IL. 90 trial bottle and treAHsA
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-11-16

Mrs. Windows Soothing Syrup.
For children teethng, softens the guns reduces In
dsmmAtion aays pain cures wind cole. Csc bottle.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-11-16

Piso's Cuscs for Consumption Is an infa.sibls
znedicins for coughs and colds. m W. SAMUuinII.,
ocean Grove. n. J.. Feb. IL. Ipoo
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-11-16

Begin your work betimes. It Il aad
% be sowing your seed when You
should be rsaping your harvest.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-11-16
a GIANT LAID LOW.
Crippled and Made III BY Awful Kid.
ney Disorders.

John Fernaays. fruit raiser, Web
ster, N. Y, says: 81 used to HIT rail-
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-11-16
Get at the Cause.

Sacramento, KY. Nov. 18th (spe-
cia43 "A typical illustration Of the
way Dodd's Kidney Pills cure Rheu-
smatism iswell told by Catherine De-
vine, who is very well known here.
She says:
For over four years was greatly
troubled with Rheumatism. 1t used
to take me worst in my legs and feet.
AT times wouii be so bad could not
put my feet to the ground. AS am
over seyentythree years of age be.
gan to. think | was too old to get
cured and should have to bear my
Rheumatism the best way could.
But I heard about Dodd $ Kidney Pills
and thought | would give them trial.
So got a box and began taking them.
Well. 1 must say Dodd's Kidney Pills
did me a wonderful lot of good. They
eased the pain from the first, and to-
day I am In better health than have
been for many years"
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-11-16
CARING FoR THE PREACHER.

One Sister Eata Him, Another Sleeps
Him, and Third Washes Him.
It was at a big meeting that all this
vas said. more Of . citizens meeting
than 4 church gathering, and Mr..
Dukes asked:
Now. what can you do for the
preacher? don't intend to put the
burden Of my living upon any one fam
lily, but upon all Of you, turn and turn
about. will not, however, go where
the latch string is not hanging out of
the door. What can you do for the
preacher?'
One old lady who had a dim recollec-
ton Of a small church in the pine
woods OF Georgia, when she was girl,
said:
y kin eat him. but can't sleep
him Z
That's good; now who next?' asked
the missionary.
Well, IL Sister Jenkins is gwiue to
eat him, III agree to sleep him. but
scaR't wash him.
That's good; who next?"
Then another sister spoke up and
sad:
Well, III wash him. but amt much
on Oiled shirts. FLORIDA Times Union
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-12-27
Speed Regulations For Autos

discussion OF ~the unwrittsn sport"
points who capable of going
will than probably be tempted At times
drive full his chauffeur will the
public that attends orchng along
the roads daily illustrated the accidents that be-
fall reckless There doubt that these speedy
drivers display certain form Of bFayeness when they their
machines highways terrific Of speed but they
needless the ordinary consideration
for be OF others should repress
forgotten that the public road Is Tor the public
$1,000 rights there
a spawned pair Of nea-bittsn mules
automobile being exploited speed instead %
Inevitably be in end.
IN eheapy and quickly.
Precisely foolzhuess occurred wth the bicycle The
early
automobiles
desired doubtful There occasions
automobile 50 miles hour
would largely with the drivers
ordinary and strict regard
for the rights privileges sthe should be the guiding motive
Of the chauffeur.
There should especially
Is the drivers
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-12-27
Enforcing the Law

The indictment federal is OF railroad
Philadelphia Chicago railroad
notice
In word. the administration will enforce the Elkins Jaw
More than that
Attorney General Moody violation
o. this law respecting rebates Determinations
be declared conspiracy commit
men Of the court be punishable
There's the
So Ions the penalty fine tse railroads could well
affed TO the the frequent nsns aud Yoat
the
But the attorney general has hnted decision Of the
United States viii h provides jail penenay
and has Instructed Immunity
to shippers who viii testify payment Of rebates
That business
The enforce the law Is enforce t.
II the enforce bad
repla imperative brings
dsrepute.
deal demands that violate The law
should be punished through the who violate the law.
The tired OF practically
poraons They should Pc held strictly
poorest citizen Is held.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-12-27
LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION

Tomorrow Tomorrow, Bertha
cannot realize Il. wish ! could
said Il more. probably. 90 myself
than 20 her as wo stood together
that night by the low stone wall
that bounded the great wheat field
Rosy clouds filled the west Soft
biushes Of the June day. ~ she vent
90 meet tho night. touched the
tangled hair of Bertha Clarke an she
stood by my side.
And you are happy. Hertha7 Let
mo EiYe you up with this solemn
assurance.
She turned her pale face toward
me, tn earneHtaeas striking out the
half dreamy smile 81 her lips aud
eyes Eyes. Mercy. | am happy
quietly. conteutedly 81 Mr. Al
liaon viii be 10 me the klndeat ~
friends. the tendsrrat II husbands
and his heart Nlli be the stronger
for me 20 loan ON because % the
years that aaYo gone over bis
head
bertha and bad been piaymates
In our childhood and friends In our
youth. Elton Hunt. ny cousin and
four years my senior. and bertha
were lovers In those days one
April evening when the sweet faces
% the stars Wers almost hidden BY
flercy clouds. they said. standing In
the wide old hail ~ Beefha'a home,
We wili walk together until death
part Is two asunder"
While the angel wrote those words
In tho everlasting records the
shadow Of death lowered near tie
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-12-27
Reform Of Entire Service Desired by Sec
rotary Rooi--- Weaknesses Of the Sys-
tenn Strongly Affect Americas Trade
Expansion

Special Correspondence To The Star.
WASHINGTON. Dec a Reform
81 the consular service win be
ehampianed ln the house of repre-
sentatiyea hy Roht. r. Hlts. ~ me-
uolH. lie viii be relied upon hv
Secretary Root "a present the lat
tefH plans so that the Republican
members 1T the house VIII approve
81 the oeceHsnry legislation This
is no easy task However. he VIII
p listened to with great respect and
confidence. .snce Tor years he has
drafted the annual appropriation bin
Tor the whole consular organization
and was assistant secretary Of state
70 Hlatns aud also saw actual dip=
iumatic service Ia Paris.
Representative Hitt believes that
This iH aue OF the most important
matters 81 legislation 90 come be-
fore the congress II bears directly
on the foreign trade % the United
States trade which has suffered
tog years BY reason % The weak
nnsscs q the consular system. We
have lost almost everything worth
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-12-27

old home and In less than two
weeks its darkness Was over. Bertha
Clarkem father was stricken With
fever In the noon Of his life and his
wife and children were left very
nearly pennileaa Not lang after this
sad event Lawrence Allison came TO
MaAdoHbrook for the benefit OF bis
health. lie vas n tail. fine looking.
well preserved man. older than Ber-
thAa mother. but be seemed enam-
orrd OF Bertha at first sight lie
was not diatasiefnl 10 hsr and hls
wealth promised comfort for her
mother aud sisters. II was no won
der. then. that she consented to be
come his wife.
Six years passed. In one Of the
heavily aleoyes OF the
magnificent AllieOn home. Mrs.
Allison and Elton Hunt were seat
cd. Mr. Allison was not a jealous
husband and bis perfect confidence
Ia his wife prevented hla being an
cxaeilng one Elton had become q
fayorlt- Of his and be encouraged
the friendship which had begun be
tween the young folks when Elton
began the practice Of law III New
York. Hut knew. as Lawrence did
not. all the past. aud I feared that
the friendship must only result In
unhappiness Tor both.
In the soft. intoxicating moon
light Elton talked OF the past and
his CON panion listened.
4 never think Of you as his wife.
murmured the rich. deep voice OF
the young man. Though you are
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-12-27
Padded Public Document

The posoce department does annual business Of three hand
red millions Of doaeauaI the entire budget Of
countries.
fourteen a half millions than takes
In.
The general gives the this deficit
It Is caused by the ranking privilege OF
through mail without Mr. coreyou
this free millions pound
" mail matter in eight Is carried free.
The postmas reform the frankng privilege
When his condemnation
the big printing
stuff going through the OF the printed Of this
shop Is mailed free to people who sell It to junk dealers
President called
The involved in the padded publications.
The would mious OF dollars hiring
would jadicoua
a condensng.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-12-27

ent system n probably the Illogical
and dianfoporiionale allotment -
compensation our highest paid
eonaula officers are those stationed
az points where SO least need them
Tor the real consular duty 81 pro-
tectlug the legal rights of American
eitiEenH. This seems absurd. but II
~ true. In the great centrrH of f'un-
liah 81 European trade thrro - tit
tlc need for uueo consular proter-
ton 81 the person. Laws are - Well
administered there ne IA the United
States A certain mass Of routine
81 course there ia=-mattaHs which
could be attended 10 by any well or
ganirsd corra - competent saihried
clerks. nut the consul himself-=the
man who h. getting an income from
salary or fees. of beth. amounting 10
thousands or score Of thousands
Of dollars has little 10 10 IN pfo-
tectinF Americana lie performs a
small and iueunaequentiai part In
promoting our trade with thoFe ma
lions. The trade in ehaFe and All
the conditions and circumstances
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-12-27

having In south America. We are
Eshsux rapidly put 10 the rsaF ~ the
procession iu the rich mtafAetH %
Europe. ard N the coming race Ia
ths Orient Ne start in FAR behind the
ether commercial world pnNefH. and
seriously handicapped at every
point
Mr. HItt said o. your correspond
ent. This Fundamental weakness
Of our consular aud diplomniic
service has been. Of course. as
everybody il fond - saying. she fact
that q has been too much the prey
Of partisan politics But thei 10 an
old story. The truth 10 the whole
system has been faulty. Il Il not
organized on 81 basis calculated to
accomplish its supposed purpose.
Corporation Unsvsn
THE Rreatsst defect I'm the pres
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-12-27

this system. In many little places
where consular nssnta ARE main
tanned on the Zee basis the offices
have some to be occupied by for
eiEnaes the income being too small
10 attract Americans Often tho
American consular official IL q
member ~ some foreign business
concern Hy virtue of his office
he innpsotn aud certlfiea the invoices
OF other merchants and comes into
possession 81 business facts 10 the
positive aud actual hlndranee OF
American commerce.
eennHfeHH should meet that CON
ditian by providing salary for an
office worthy % be kept up Huffi-
Client % maintain patriotic Amefi-
can IN TINT place VINO would really
look after American Interests. In
all other Instances the office should
be abolished
IT viii surprise many people 20
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-12-27

which affect u afs well known %
those who engage IN h.
Need Census Here
Contrast such consulate with
one IN China or japan or Turkey Or
just uoN In Russia. IL ths latter
countries the consular office 10 to-
day what u Ia BY tradition. u be-
comes an office 30 which the Amert-
can who II travelling there looks for
protection. u becomes one for foa-
fering American trade. aud supply
ing information about unknown
lands and unexpiorr1 markets.
And yet how Do the salaries cor-
respond 70 the importance Of the
two iocaiitlssf The rich consulate.
the fat office. T. the one In Great
Britain or France or Germany.
where the duties are comparatively
unimportant. The salary. mean
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-12-27

legally his. we belong 10 each other.
We have plighted our hearts. you
know. Bertha"
Hush, Elton n Is wrong.
must not listen 10 such wordn.a
tie looked down through the tears
In the blue eyes and drew her head
70 HIS shoulder Bertha. Bertha
This moment sou are more my wife
than that Of Lawrence Allison. q"
Forgetting the teachings of his
youth. forgetting the honor Of his
manhood. Elton Hunt wrapped bis
arms about the woman he loved and
impiored her 20 go With him.
Bertha's heart drank IN each
word. His reasoning seemed plaus-
ible. In his shining garments the
teinpter stood very near the heart
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-12-27
~. s. CONSULS BEST PAID
WHERE LEAST NEEDED
KiTT

time, OF the consul IN the little chi o.
Nose or Japanese town. or Tn South
Africa or the little port Ia Russia
south America OF other remote part
% the world, IL 80 small that Il does
not attract In numerous places tho
office does not carry any salary. aud
The consul OF consular agent IL ex q
pected TO maintain himself on tho
rcnntY fees which he may pick np.
III places where We need the con
eufn work We Ray nothing. in the
places whore We could easily dis
pcnHe with ans consul. except az
treasury nEenta. we permit our rep
rcaentative 20 gather IN fees and
salaries which To- iuauy Instances
have approached the wage we pay
20 The man who occupies the white
house.
Foreign Agents
And thore Is a serious and POSI-
tive evil which hos grown up under
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-12-27

Of The VIE Her lips almost echoed
the thought ~ her heart. 4 viii 20
with you until death. my beloved. "
Then over the Wild storm u Ber-
tha's soui came the memory Of the
sweet night prayer Of her child
hood. Lead us not into tempta-
ton"
There was a short but brief Htug-
Gle between good and evil. bat the
right triumphed. She gently put
away those loving arms, rose and
answered calmly with white lips.
4 cannot so with you. Elton, for
IL would be Ein--aiu written and
read against as al the judgment"
She pressed a last kiss upon the
forehead OF her childhood lover and
vas gone
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-12-27

ton
Imagine organizing business
will 200 10 500 agents distributed ia
az many cities and towns in all
parts n the earth and leaving them
practically without supervision. and
actually without inspection.
IT iH absurd. There should be a
corps ~ trained inspectors always
nt work such a force Is favOrabiy
regarded BY Secretary Root II
should DE approved by congress-"
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-12-27
representative HiTT

learn that out Of the 700 or 500 con
aulaie poatH or consular agencies
which we maintain. only about 100
are aainfied offices above 81 900. The
others are iuadequately filled by In
adequately compensated agents who
collect fees in IL more or less Inn
proper manner.
Inspection Urged
And this leads o. the next great
need in the consular system name
~. a proper supervision and iuspec-
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-12-27
THE LIFE INSURANCE PROBLEM
BY BRYANT o. BROOKS,
Governo~ az Wxornina

Regarding federal Of
certain nsusnge companies ainn
people giving
N
control Of life would doubtless be
n
Where funds have been unla~fuly
gal INST parties
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-12-27

Jas. Hazon Hyde has been sem
fenced 10 hades for eternity by an
eastern minister Jimmy has Al
ready served several months OF the
sentence.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-12-27
y. STAR DUST

"doin'a" that caused Anna Held TO
jump through a window. To get
out or int
The New York woman sho b. ad-
visinE people 10 eyaporato must
have been reading the insurance
testimony.
Alice Roosevelt will begin her
married life under one great alHad-
vantage. Nick IL bald.
The metal bed and spring. COM
blno has decided 20 put, up prices
10 per cent. The combine works
while you sleep.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-12-27

Friends Of w. A. Corey declare
he Isn't the only one and declare
other steel men once held some
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-12-27

Il suppose IT'S every singers am
bitlon TO reach the highest note"
Yes, about 1000 night
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-12-27

Warning. Don't transact any
business with J. p. Morgan not
until he gets back that s.. 100000.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-12-27

And thore Is a serious and POSI-
tive evil which has grown up under
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-01-14
HAD EN- SCRAMBLED.

A salesman in a department store who
possesses considerable wit entered a
restaurant in the central section of the
city the other day, and, finding the
waiter TO have been a recent arrival
from Ireland. told him he wanted two
fried eggs.
Il want one egg fried on one side and
the other egg fried on the other side.
and | want them quick" the salesman
added.
Would you kindly write that on a
piece of paper" said the waiter
you"
One fried egg fried on both sides and
the other egg fried on the other side.''
muttered the Irishman as he WAS leav-
ing the table
In q few minutes the salesman heard
much commotion in the kitchen There
We're loud words and they were punctu-
ated with sounds which seemed like
blows.
Presently the waiter appeared much
excited. and. rushing up 10 the sales
man. exclaimed:
Say. l had "a terrible fight wild the
cook about those eggs and you'll have
TO take them scrambled. philadelphia
Press
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-01-14
MRS. CHADWICK TAKES NOTICE

At last Mrs. Chadwick is beginning 20
take notice, and to show some signs Of
the sharpness which could pull the wool
over the eyes of Wall Street financiers
and beat bankers at their own game.
In regard to the long-expecte6 and
lcrg-delayed statement, Mrs. Chad
wick says any paper can have scoop"
on it. if it win prove that she ever gave
away an 5000 automobile. or bought
81 200 worth of handkerchiefs at one
time. After any paper has proven these
tdings, Mrs. Chadwick will doubtless
offer another prize for proof that she
once took a party of ten Cleveland so
ciety'' bellies to Europe. paying all their
expenses, and that her custom was TO go
into a jewelers. and, asking to look at
rings, beiGg shown tray. would. with
"a careless sweep of the hand, say II will
take. these indicating the whole lot. 1t
look ed for a time as II Mrs. Chadwick
were preparing to make the insanity
plea, but her little challenge TO the
Cleveland reporters puts this idea to
fight and indicates the wit which prov
ed too much for prominent men" and
bankers all over the country Is still very
much alfve-New York Globe.