The Record-courier. [volume] (Gardnerville, Nev.) 1904-current, 1905-05-26
A LETTER FROM
BOB INGERSOLL

Ny DEAR SIR: ] will endeavol
10 write you the letter promised
before leaving New York. Sam
Jones inadvertently told the truth
for Just as he predicted and as !
myself secretly expected | am IN
Hades; came straight through on
the flyer without a stop. ] am sit
ting on red hot cinder writing
this letter on a piece Of slate, gou-
ged from the ceiling with my tri-
dent. A "trident" you know is
one of those funny looking little
pitchforks like Neptune used to
carry about with him at the sea-
side. Everybody holding office
here is allowed to carry one.
When ] was on earth | didn't be-
believe much in He'll but | hadn't
been here ten minutes before | be-
believed in it whole lot. 1t is
much more genuine and realistic
than | anticipated, but ! think |
like it better after | become ac-
elimated. Just now my feet are
badly blistered from walking on
red hot psvements and wading
through great pools of fire and
birthstone that gathers in low plac-
es and | am dabbling them in the
river Stye to cool them off. | was
talking to Moses awhile ago and
he says they will soon get callous-
ed. | joshed him little about
his mistakes but he got back at
me in such good shape about lot
OF mine which | supposed nobody
but myself knew anything about,
that | was glad to change the sub
ject. He is a pretty long-headed
old chap and | think | should like
him if | was not a trifle prejudiced.
There are lots of people here and
strangers arriving daily, but !
would not advise you to come UNI
until you have to, and even then
you should try to plan it so as to
strike this climate in the late fall
or winter and you need not bring
anything but summer suit, you
wont need an umbrella or skates
but you might bring along stock
of palm leaf fans. But say, got
here just in time to strike snap.
Henry Ward Beecher has Just been
retired on account of old age and
Satan appointed me to succeed him
as boss of the New York Colony,
the largest one here except San
Francisco. | have a lovely new
trident with cute little spear points
as sharp as needles, and the Devil
has promised to get me a long red
tail with spear on the end, and n
pair of horns Just like his when he
goes to the city next week. The
Old Boy seems to have taken a
fancy to me, guess it is because
| helped him out so much in New
York while | was there. In fact
he has intimated that he attributes
the great size of his New York
Colony to my untiring zeal in his
cause. | rather like him and
think we will get along together
first class. There are ministers
here of every denomination, and
several camp meetings are in full
swing down the river. Ben Frank.
lin called on me this morning, his
beautiful long hair is all singed of
and he has stopped inventing
stoves and is forming a stock com.
pany for the manufacturer of ice,
/ Immediately became deeply in
terested in the scheme and sub
scribed for million shares of
stock to help the thing along. II
would be a great comfort to me
right now if had a cake of ice to
sit on and another under my
blistered feet. OF course the trusts
are down here, Soloman and the
Norman elders having the women
all eornered. There is no legisla
tia,, ooo,xo+ ,~ol,r.o...,. lo.o 81 I =.