davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15

Nothing will cure indigo tion tina
doesn't digest the food, itself, and give
the stomach rest. You can't expect
that weak stomach will regain its
strength and get well when it is COM
PEELED to do the full work that sound
stomach should do. You wouldn't ex-
pect sick horse to get well when it is
compelled to do full days work every
day of the week. Kodol Dyspepsia Cure
is perfect digestant and digests food
regardless of the condition of your
stomach. Relieves Indigestion, Belch-
ing, Sour Stomach, and all stomach dis
orders. Sold by Peoples Pharmacy,
w. G. Cook, proprietor.
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15
c.pt. Burma Cured Of Pea soup.

Capt. Burma Cured Of Pea Soup.
The following was frequently told
by Capt. Martin Burns Of Bangor. Me-,
as one on him:
The captain was very fond of split
pea soup. and before leaving port he
always put in good-sixed stock OF
split peas. On this occasion, however,
his negro steward got whole peas. and
so the soup that the captain called for
on the first day out was thrown away.
The next day pea soup was again
served. and this time the captain. after
having eaten hearty meal, said to his
steward: Steward, that's the kind Of
soup like; we'll have some more Just
like 1t tomorrow"
"Fo de Lawd's sake. cap'n," ex.
claimed the steward, ma jaws am 20
tired chewing dem whole peas dat All
just can't chem no no."
Tia Captain never asked for pea
GOatra aroiu
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15
Or. savase's Euesne FIsId stel

Or. savass's Eugene Field story.
The Rev. Minot J. Savage, ON being
introduced to speak before . large
Boston assembly short time since.
told story about Eugene Field and
vouched for its truth, because he
heard Seth Low tell 1t.
Field sat down at table in a
New York restaurant and presently
was approached by . voluble waiter
who began to rapidly enumerate the
articles upon the menu-"Conee-tea
chocolate NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
chop -fshballs-hash 'n-beans." e':. Field
looked at him with hxed eye and col.
emn visage. and said with marked de.
liberation: II want none Of these
things. All I desire 10 one orange and
a few kind words"
Now" observed DR.. Savage, 81
don't know as can bring to you the
flavor Of an orange. but feel sure
can serve you with few Aind words.'
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15
His Wisdom.

Old King Solomon was in q merry
mood.
Ibid you not offer to quiet disputins
mothers one time by cutting . baby
In half" asked the visitor.
"Yes." laughed the old king. land
still retained my wisdom. However
you may put me down a. saying
never acted as Judge at baby show
And Solomon winked and ordcret
the slaves to bring in peacocks' ton
cues and orange wine.
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15

Rough skin and cracked hands are not
only cured by DeWitt's Witch Hazel
Salve, but an occasional application will
keen the skin soft and smooth. Best
for Eczema, Cuts, Burns. Boils, etc.
The genuine DeWitt's Witch Hazel
Salve affords immediate relief in all
forms Of Blind. Bleeding. Itching and
Protruding Piles. Sold by Peoples
Pharmacy, w. G. Cook, proprietor.
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15
gxpeundlna lbsen.s Plaxs.

Count Tolstoi's sense of humor still
continues to exist. One day he was
discussing Ibsen with q friend. Said
the latter: Il have seen a great many
nj Ibsen's plays, but cannot say that
/ understand them. Do you?" Tolstoi
smiled and replied: "Ibsen doesn't
understand them himself. He Just
writes them and sits down and waits.
After a while his expounders and ex.
planners come and tell him precisely
what he meant"
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15
.slenden ttevssmslds In llvpr,

ts Lenden Hevssmalds In LIvsry.
Housemaids In livery are the lates,
innovation In smart" london houses
One fashionable woman has attlred
her maids in neat skirts. tight-httine
bodices, with natty dou5ls.breasted
waistcoats Of yellow and Llack. tin.
beass buttons On either side.
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15
F,noer.prInt IdentInc.tlon.

Finssr-prInt Identification.
Identification by hnger-print is gen
orally supposed to be quite modern
European detective device: but It ap
pears that 1t was employed in Korea
l.2OQ years ago.
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15
VARYING Meth ods Of Suicide.

In America suicides mostly resort to
shooting: Germans stab themselves;
the melancholy Turk takes poison; the
morbid.minded Italian browns nim-
self: while in the United Kingdom
hanging is the favorite method OF
''shuffiing OF this mortal COLL"
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15
Best Hogs In France.

In France the best breed Of hogs Ia
considered to the Craonnais. which
often attains the weight Of $50 pounds
in fifteen to eighteen months: prize
pig weighed 1853 pounds at the age Of
ten months and twenty-five days.
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15
Never Are.

Druggist-"That fifty pounds of ice
you left me yesterday was fraud. !
put 1t on the drug store scales and 1t
weighed twenty-one pounds five
scruples and q DRAM"
Iceman-"G'wani There amt no
scruples In ice weight"
Druggist-"So found out."-Cleve-
land Leader.
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15
ArIsteerasIe wine Merehsnt.

The late marquis Of Butte chose .
very unusual outlet for his business
capacity. A. the owner Of the only
Euglish vineyard he made excellent
(English) wine. Ten years ago tho
years yield Of wine from his vines
asar cadiR was valued at $4,000.
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15
MIR. eRADeRlND's GOOD ACTIONS.
Providence Enabled Him to Do Three
In Bunch.

l
Providence Enabled Him to Do Three
In a Bunch. M
Gradgrind, hurrying from his ocice.
was about to step into his automobile
when a poor woman accosted him.
"Oh, SIR" she said. will you lend
me dollar?'
The milllonaire's hard features did
not soften.
what for?" he asked harshly.
ITO get my baby christened WITH"
she answered. MY new baby, sir;
and 81 is the fee."
"Gradgrihd produced IS hill.
Here, take this" he said, "and
bring the change to my once In an
hour"
The woman's wan face frightened.
"How good you are" she said. ito
trust me. sir"
There, there" said Gradgrind.
"Dont betray my trust, that's ALL"
And in his huge automobile he tore
smoothly away.
An hour later, sure enough, his 81
in change awaited him in his once.
my dear" said Gradgrind virtuous-
ly to his wife that night. II did three
good actions today"
What were they" Mrs. Gradgrind
asked.
In the first place" said the pluto
crat. II was the instrument. through
Providence. of helping poor woman.
In the second place I aided in adding
a new member to our church. Third.
ly, got rid Of bad IS hill"
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15
English Mayors Robe.

The robe worn by the mayor Of
Longston (Eng.) is said to be the
most beautiful Of its kind. 1t Is made
of watered silk, lavishly enriched with
adornments of gold. 1t was given to
the town ty the duke OF Sutherland
during his mayoralty.
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15
envy. the Be ,yer q peace.

envy. the De yer u Psaes. &
The man with envy in his heart car
not be happy. He may hide his envy.
but he can not get out Of life the
Joy that il riShtfully his. Happiness
Is rot for him. Happiness implies
peace Of mind. There can be no
peace Of mind where envy Il -Ex-
change.
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15

The motto of woman's club back
east is: 1--WE Suffer in Silence" Sill
ence for any length of time would cause
most any woman to suffer we have been
told.
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15
porter,s oood.by 70 "Mark twain

portsr's oood-by 70 "Mark Twain"
Gen. Porter tells this story Of his
farewell to Mark Twain once when
mark" was going away: II said good.
by Mark: may God be with you al
ways" He drawingly replied: I hope
.-em-he will. but hope, too, that he
may hnd some leisure moments to
take care Of you"
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15
Llttle pestltutIon Ia japan.

Real destitution is rarely seen 10
Japan. Though some Of its inhabi
.ants are very poor, yet all seem to be
fairly well fed. clothed and housed
and are Of cleanly ha:.its and rarely
untidy.
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15

The majority of US are not worrying
about the sex of angels in heaven. We
know their sex here on earth, bless 'em,
and that is all sufficient.
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15
Loss. 10000 Towels.

Loses 10000 Towels.
During the prosecution Of . man
who had stolen towel belonging to
an English railway company 1t was
stated that in the last two years the
company had lost 10000 towels.
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15
n. rheme Of Comedy.

The Theme Of Comedy.
Married life Is the most frequent
theme Of comedy simply because It is
the most hazardous enterprise In ma
ture. Thus saith a writer In the
London Daily Chronicle.
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15

Anu u uull anu hCkeuinR Unuu, VI COufsSs
The Judge imposed with an angry snort,
a line for contempt Of Cupids court.
Then mounted his horse and rude away,
And Mautle and her daddy heard him say:
''Of all the fools in the bunch, by Ned!
An old fool captures the ginserbreaal!
Astronomers say that the new comet
they have stumbled upon is different
from other comets. Perhaps it is an
aristocratic comet with docked tail.
Holiday turkey would be more enjoy
able if those prying scientists could dis
cover destroyer for the nightmare
germs they bear.
4 49,.
An examination Of the records Of the
agricultural department would no doubt
show that such immense corn crops
were never known under Democratic
administration.
"
John L. Sullivan declares that he will
never take another drink. It is hoped
ne speaks truly. He has already had
more than his share.
Eugene Debs says he does not want
TO run for president again. He can see
no satisfaction in wobbling along by the
haM mile most after ths winner has been
blanketed and led to his stall.
An astronomer asserts that there are
no canals on Mars, as has been claimed.
The planet is admittedly very old and
those streaks may be but weather
cracks.
The announcement by the census bu-
reau that Nebraska has the lowest per
centage Of filliteracy Of any Of the United
States may cause Jealous Kansas to rise
in righteous wrath and yell: "What!!"
The Omaha City authorities have made
the discovery that there is great deal
Of impure milk and water in the city.
It has not yet been determinedwhether
the milk gets its impurity from the
water or the water from the milk.
A Nevada woman who married Adam
Goodman three months ago already asks
for divorce. He wasn't.
A fashion paper says the display Of
ladies winter hats is not 30 startling as
had been expected. Perhaps the milli-
rers depend upon the prices to do the
startle stunt.
They quarreled, these twoneighbors did,
Each day raised merry Cain;
In anger they'd blow off the lid
And give their passions rein!
For weeks the scrap was nip and tuck,
The oaths few in stream,
Until at last one Of them struck
Upon fiendish scheme!
With dev'lish chuckling inward laugh
He went down town one day
And bought a squeaking phonograph-
And the other moved sway.
The Wisconsin woman who wants q
divorce because married life is too slow
was evidently led into matrimony by q
anisleading signal. Her husbands name
Is Swift.
A Chicago judge claims to have
smashed the record by performing Z
marriage ceremony in nine seconds, but
he is away of Of his judicialbass. The
record is held by the Colorado justice
vho did the job in this brief manner
''Have err
"Ysp." sae j 4sas
Have 'im7''
ssUh-huh." 'Ta
"Masrisd Two dollar" J"
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15
A Nevada woman who married Adam
Goodman three months ago already asks
for divorce. He wasn't.

A fashion paper says the display Of
ladies winter hats is not 50 startling rs
had been expected. Perhaps the milli-
rers depend upon the prices to do the
startle stunt.
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15

The Omaha City authorities have made
the discovery that there is great deal
Of impure milk and water in the city.
It has not yet been determined whether
the milk gets its impurity from the
water or the water from the milk.
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15

The announcement by the census bu-
reau that Nebraska has the lowest per
centage Of illiteracy Of any Of the United
States may cause jealous Kansas to rise
in righteous wrath and yell: "What!y'
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15
Jests and Jineles
By James Barton Adams
Dad Muller Butted In!

Dad Muller once on II summer day
Saw Maude in the meadow rnking hay.
He had never asked her to do that same
And knew she WIS playing some little game.
He hid in n pokeberry patch near by
And fixed on his daughter u watchful eye.
Approached a figure along the lane
On feabit horse with calf-chewn mane.
He recognized in the gay old sport
The hog fnt judge of the county court.
The feat Of dismounting the judge achieved.
And Il sigh of relief the old horse heaved.
He climbed the fence with IN effort that
Was really painful-he was 80 fat.
my fair young maiden, he painting said,
.'By the proinptings of love was hither led
Il was borne by tender, unseen force,
And Maudie glanced ut the weary horse.
'Tis time honorcd custom wise judge may
Make love to mniden who rakes the hay.
ITO yonder city d bear you. dear,
To a modest mansion OF mortgage clear.
pray shake the seeds from your roseate hair
And fly with me to haven there"
Low stopped his honor to kiss her hand,
And the old dad Is boot proceeded to land!
A cowhide boot, and it fell with force,
And dull and sickening thud, OF course,
The Judge imposed. with an angry snort,
\ line for contempt Of Cupids court.
Then mounted his horse and rode away,
And Mautle and her daddy heard him say:
'Of all the fools in the bunch, by Ned!
An old fool captures the gingerbread
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15

An astronomer asserts that there are
no canals on Mars, as has been claimed.
The planet is admittedly very old and
those streaks may be but weather
cracks.
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15

John L. Sullivan declares that he will
never take another drink. It Is hoped
he speaks truly. He has already had
more than his share.
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15

Eugene Debs says he does not want
70 run for president again. He can see
no satisfaction in wobbling along by the
half mile most after the winner has been
blanketed and led to his stall.
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15

Astronomers say that the new comet
they have stumbled upon is different
from other comets. Perhaps it is an
aristocratic comet with docked tail.
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15
They quarreled, these twoneighbors did,

The Wisconsin woman who wants 9
divorce because married life is too slow
was evidently led into matrimony by .
naIsleading signal. Her husbands name
Is Swift.
The Delta independent., 1905-12-15

0arn AGAIN
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1905-05-12
pkinsvillc Market.

1Iopkinsvlle, New Era:
Receipts ON the local tobacco mar
ket continue to increase, although
regular auction sales are rtill no
ticcable only by their absence The
inspectors report rs as follows: Re
ceipts for the week. $40 hhds; re-
ccipts for the year. 29.5O hhds; sales
for the week. i5 hhds; sales for the
year, al hhds.
The recent rains have brought to-
bacco into condition and large re-
coipts have been had at all the re-
handling houses as well as at the
pricing houses of the farmers asso-
citation The loose sales this week
were quite satisfactory, both in the
amount Of offering and prices real
lied
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1905-05-12
HIRAM BLOW a 60.

Nashville, Tenn. May i2.-The
Hiram Blow Staye company. recently
organized. with 100000 capital has
located It's operating and sales head
quarters here. The company was
,ormed for the purpose of Jointly on
Grating a number Of stayc mills In
Tennessee aud Kentucky. The COM
pany owns ten staNe mills and is OPP
Grating six under lease. In addition
the president. v j Blow and Sec
rotary. i. NJ Wright. have large in
tercs.s In West Tennessee. Missis-
sippi. Louisiana and Arkansas. and
70 Is the ultimate purpose TO pa
these mills into this company. Nh
Blow Is said TO be one Of the largest
staVo dealers In the world
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1905-05-12
FRANCE REPLIES
TO JAPAN'S CHARGE
Denies Any Violation Whatever
Of Neutrality.
No Land Battle Seems Probable for
the Near Future Just nj This
Time.
MORE RUSSIAN SHIPS SEEN

Paris, May IA semi-ofilcial
statement from high sources Is pub
lished giving Frances position in re-
ply to Japan's charges of breaches of
neutrality One of the headings is;
Japan has done in the Philip
pines aud Dutch East Indies the
same as she accuses France of doing
in Indo-Chlna."
Conclusions set forth as being:
First-Neutrality regulations were
not established for the present war
but existed previously without a pro
test from Japan.
"Second--Franoe has exercised her
sovereignty to fulhl regulations moi
only to the full letter but has also
adopted special measures to main
ain absolute impartiaiity.
Third-The only direct purchase
of coal by. the Russians was at Al
siers, whore the quantity was insig
lticant. The main stock of coal was
purchased in Germany and England
without protest
"Fourth-Any advantages which
the Russian second Pacific squadron
obtained by anchoring off the French
coast were equally open to the Japa-
nese if they had taken the offensive
instead of awaiting the Russians"
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1905-05-12
Japs Were Only Teasing.

Gunshu Pass. May 12.-The Japa
nese advance now appears to have
been feint to ascertain the strength
of the Russian outposts, which have
again been pushed forward on the
left at Lafangol Erdahoi and Toun
goi and along the center line from
Podysouzsche to lIihousa, where the
Japanese attacked the Russians May
Z and May 8. but were repulsed
Next day, in order to Dust the Jap
anese from Shahetzy mines from
which their attack was organized, a
column of cavalry supported by ar
tillery, moved forward under cover
OF Russian guns and mines, were
TUNED, the japanese retiring first
TO Sinianzon and later to Madlepa.
three miles south of Chantafu.
On the right flank the situation is
unchanged. The Russian front re-
sembles a crescent with the centers
resting on the railroad and the horns
pointing south. Prisoners say new
troops from Japan are old men and
youths. They give japanese losses al
Mukden as 1885 killed and abou
10000 wounded. Oyama was at the
front during the recent activity max
Ing his headquarters at Chantafu.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1905-05-12
GEN. NN'I
Thanks the American People for
Their Kindness.

Columbus. O. May General
Nogi, the hero of Port Arthur, has
written card to Col. w. II. Knauss,
of Columbus, in which he returns his
thanks for the numerous apprccia-
lions from the American people, and
in a particular manner expresses his
appreciation of small American flag
sent to him by Col. knauss.
After the fall of Port Arthur, Col.
Knauss sent letter of congratula-
lion to Gen. Nogi, complimenting
him for his success upon the battle
field, and hoping for his future sue
cess and for the ultimate triumph OF
the japanese. Enclosed in the letter
was a small silk American flag.
On Tuesday Col. Knauss received
card from Gen. Nogi. in which he
says he sis more than pleased to re-
ceive the token american flag),"
and II gives him great pleasure to
thank the sender for it and also for
the kind words of encouragement
and good cheer"
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1905-05-12
Eirst snnIlnry Mnrrnnts.

Mary Marsh aud Mollo Beck. CO.
ored. are the first to be arrested fos
refusing TO comply with the orders OF
sanitary officers who notified them
TO clean up their premises. They
we're arralgned In police court this
morning ana the cases were contin-
ucd on account of Witnesses The
board OF health intends TO stand be
hind the sanitary officers and back
them up in their work. The board
intends TO clean up the city and
Judge Sanders will have a number of
similar cases before him II residents
refuse to obey the orders OF inspec-
tors.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1905-05-12
Mayhcld Market.
MayGeld Monitor:

Mayheld Monitor:
Tobacco continues 90 come In large
quantities and is bringing good
prices. There were sales at Albrit-
ton Bros. a Co.'S, Ligon, Allen q
Co.'S. and n. W Green q Co.'S.
There we're three additional buy
crs. Messrs r. J. Mylcs, of Mayncld.
G. II. Warneken. of Clarksyille, and
Capt. n. r Albritton of this city,
These gentlemen with Mossrs. Oscar
Hanks aud j. r. Wright of Paducah,
and Whelen, of Louisville, are as
many buyers as usually attend this
market The sales were rather brsik
and, II there was any change, the to-
bacco. considering quality, brought
better prices.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1905-05-12
Circuit Court.

The case of DR. D. J. Foster against
the city of Paducah went to the jury
this forenoon. Or. Foster was in
jured by tripping mp on pipe pro-
truding from the pavement near
Fourth and Madison. lie sustained
a broken hip and was laid up in bed
for several months the result of the
fall. lie brought suit for $4,000
damages.
The case of w. n. Mcconnell
against the Paducah City Railway
Co., went to the jury this afternoon
about o'clock. He claims he was
on a car when II ran off the track
and injured him internally He sued
for $4,000 damages.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1905-05-12
County Court.

A judgment for $500 was filed in
the case of II j. Norman against u
q. Park.
A Judgment for SSI2.33 was filed
in the case of Fulton-Conway Co
against the Paducah Wagon Works
Co.
n. v Lewis and others got judg
for s1l3.25.
Ed Voolfolk deeds 10 Charles
Rutter, for $500 property in Foun-
tain park.
II. H. Dale. n. Bryan and II. Bold
~ have been appointed appraisers
and commissioners for a new road
known as the Clark's Line road.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1905-05-12

Clarksville. Tenn, May l2.-Gen-
eral Salesman Warneld of the Dark
Tobacco Growers Association has
received letter from a buyer OF
dark tobacco for the Bremen market
stating that he desired 1000 hogs
heads, Recently the report was sent
out that the foreign markets would
attempt TO boycott the Farmers AS
ISOLATION aud refuse 10 accept the In
spection of Col. Young, who was
elected for that purpose. These re-
ports have proven untrue, Only a
few days ago one of the local buyers,
acting ON orders from one of the for
eign markets, purchased a good or
der, going to the assication's head
quarters and selecting the tobacco
from samples which had been sent
there from different parts of the dis
srict. The person who seeks 10 pur-
Chase 900 hogsheads of the weed
states that he Is willing 10 give the
association trial. lie said he
thought the good packing aud assert
ing of the farmers would finally win
out The members of the associa-
tion are iubilant over the condition
of the affairs, and Il looks as II their
fight Is won,
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1905-05-12
Toxic stiII Mad.

Toxic. May 12.LAlthough the ex-
PLANTATION of the French government
regarding the alleged breach of neu-
trality committed in French waters
on the lndo-Chins coast have reliey-
ed the situation somewhat, popular
resentment is still rampant. The
Japanese press maintains strong
attitude and demands that France
be forced TO more fully explain her
actions.