Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1905-02-16
GOSSIP Of THE WORLD.
TENS OF INTEREST FROM
DIVERS SOURCES.
he Latest Telagraphic News OF the
Day Boiled Down to a
Focus For Busy
Readers.

| 1GodO0rSs
The Gar has been on the jumpsky
He's quieter now.
Even the hand-organ monkey wants
an eight-hour day.
Count Cassini draws his salary
and stays out of Russia. Lucky old
man!
Insurance companies have placed
the Cars name in the bad-risk
crowd.
Returning chickens are coming in
in large numbers these days. Those
of General Miles arrived some days
ago, and now Senator Platps are
Hooking in. AT this rate the roosting
facilities may soon be exhaus sted.
Statisticians have succeeded in
running the number of Hoch's wives
up to AZ. Whether there are to be
further additions Is problematica!
but not at all impossible. Hoch
clearly advocates tandem polygamy
| but he is far ahead of the advance d
thought of the day. He probably
knows as much as any man aboui
how it feels to get married.
While discussing the problem OF
how to make happy home it is III
order to announce that an Illinois
woman shot her husband for staying
out late aC night. Her example
might be .olloWed to advantage by
other women affiic.eted with errant
spouses. Fhe average man would
rather be shot, any way, than listen
to an early morning lecture from the
top of the stairs.
Wilmington. n c., Feb. 13 1t is
feared that great damage will result
to lettuce in this territory by the
freez, predicted by the Weather Bu-.
reau for tomorrow morning, which is
developing fast. Yesterday morning
a gale Of wind uncovert d many beds
iii this territory, tearing the canvas
in some instances into shreds. Many
growers found itimpossible 10 replace
damaged covers by tonight and the
consequent damage may be large.
An octogenarian who gave dim
ner to 100 widows at which he was
the only man present has just passed
away in peace. One hundred Wild
oWs pitted against one lone man and
he an octosenarian at that! 1t is not
every man VIII, has the courage 10
face masked battery of 100 pairs of
widows eyes at dinner table and
It is Lot every man who has survived
the trial and liv. to die in bed with
olt at least one of his guests to shed
tear in All official capacity.
There is mai ked distinction t.
be made between WoInan's wal,
and Woman's Waste. The former
is often an object of admiration or
ridicu!e, according as it is trim OF
obliterated by corpulency, while the
latter is often responsible for the
Nightmares that visit married men.
| A woman is indebted to kind prov
idence for a waist that is really a
waist, and heaven only knows where
her waste comes from. The best we
can do is to figure up how much il
comes to.
| Washington, Feb. 13. Not in re
cent years has the House witnessed
such spectacle as it did today with
Mr.. Sullivan, of Massachusetts, anC
William r. Hearst, of New York, a:
the central'figures. Both INDUCED il
personalities of the gravest character
and so stirred the House as to arouse
among certain members a feeling o
the greatest indignation. Mr.. Sullivan
heaped upon Mr.. Hearst a trade o
denunciations while the latter by
Implication charge Mr.. Sullivan witt
compliclty in a murder.
| Samuel L. Clemens, who is more
widely known as" Mark Twain, lis re
porte d to be recovering from severe
cold brought on by the rigorous eli
mate of New York. Mr.. Clemens
is getting feeble and spends much O.
his time in bed, although he con
tinues to write. The world will re
lgret to bid farewell to Mark Twain
He is not only man who has made
his mark as a humorist ard writer
of clever stories but he who gave us
.Tom Sawyer" and "Huckleberry
FINN IS more than mere writer o.
books-ho is philanthropist.
The beef trust has corner in eggs
that is already enriching that com
tbine and promises to make consum err
howl until the present cold weather
and striusency in the egg marke
abates somewhat. Suffice it to say
that with eggs selling from 80 cents
upward, and a price of SO cents re
rorted in the west, Irish comedian
are safe and egg omelette is looket
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