Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1905-01-11
A FAMILY TANGLf.
Observation-Disclosures.

- Ss>NrS1NspS'srSsS~Ss'N
IN F u was an old maid, Matilda Bas-
slj sett, and spent two hours every
morning trying to plump out my
cheeks with all kinds OF creams and
lotions from the drug store, I'd stop
preaching to other folks" exclaimed
her brother Hiram. testify.
Yes, but hair dye
. II tell you it amt II hair dye!"
sbroke in Hiram It's hair restorer.
Can't you read what 1t says on the
bottle? DR.. Flip Flop's Celebrated
Hair Restorer, warranted to make hair
grow on the baldest head in thirty
days, or money refunded. Price ST."
'.I've heard that hair dyes have been
known to drive people crazy, on ac-
count of the sugar OF lead that is In
'em," said Matllda. do you suppose
there is any In thls?'
II don't know, or care" snarled
Hiram.
.sBut sugar of lead is a deadly poi
son."
us IT." and pouring little Of the
contents of the bottle into an indi-
vidual butter plate, he took bit of
sponge and began hopping his shiny,
bald pate with the preparation. We'll,
q man hasn't got to die but once"
why, Hiram Bassett! Such vanity
and recklessness In a man of your age
IS not only foolish, but sinful"
How about paying $50 for a full
rugged set of artificial teeth last sum-
mery retorted Hiram, shaking the
bottle of restorer violently.
THAT'S different. Everybody knows
that teeth are necessity
.,And amt hair necessity. I'd like
to ask:" he lueried, Indignantly.
"Oh, my poor brother" and Matilda
drew down the corners of her mouth
piously, what a sad change has come
over you within the last year. ever
since that frivolous Widow Cole, with
her card playing and dancing and gay
carrying on, moved into the neighbor-
hood. II 1t was not for her brother.
dear Mr.. Scion Humps sake. would
not associate with her for minute
wouldn't, hey?'' rejolned Hiram.
..Well, i'll didn't think it might hurt
Lottie, Mrs. Coles feelings, old Humps
shouldn't cross my doorstep
ION, you wicked man to speak SO
disrespectfully OF dear Brother
Humps!" and Matilda applied the cor
ner Of her apron to her eyes. Think
how he labors and exhorts for the
cause Of temperance and the poor
heather In foreign lands and
skins people out Of a weeks board
here, there and everywhere he can
manage to strike suckers" interposed
Hiram. "He don't fool me. but Lottie
is a daisy
lyon mean, Hiram" said Matilda
severely. that Lottie, as you call her
ia a foolish, giddy creature, but for all
that she has fairly added your brain
To think Of man of your age dyeing
his hair and using perfumery and
wearing red neclsties and gallivantlne
night and y
"And Just consider n woman of YOU
years. Matilda, studying the beauty
columns in the Sunday papers and ex
perimenting with all kinds Of recipes
for "a king the complexion bloom and
eyebrows grow. All! 1t is something
too terrible to think Of" and Hiram
grGaped dismally.
"Only year ago, before this fllghty
Lottle made her appearance among
us" sighed Matilda, ignoring hel
brothers last remark, you was nj
ways in your bed before o'clock, ant
attended the church sociables anf
meetings regular. Now your mind ant
time is all taken UP with frivolity."
II know It, Matilda assentet
Hiram, "and only year ago, If re
member Alright, before old Solol
Humps showed up in the neighbor
hood, you was going round as thin al
q rail. with little pug of hair abou
AZ big as nutmeg In the back OF
your nech. and complaining Of having
rheumatism and dyspepsia and enough
other complaints to make nice varle
ty. Now-Jerusalem! you're raipsin
round with that "a codger, rain Of