davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

Tapau seems to think that France
/ enforces the law of neutrality about
/ like Wichita enforces the prohlpltloh
law.
Mr.. Lawson hasn't made a million
! in Wall street now for three or TOUT
days. Has the supply Of Irehz ~
financial lambs run short or IS MT.
/ Lawson's press agent Just taxing d
vacation?
Friends of Bill Doolittle will be
! grieved to learn that he is seriously
4 i'll. Mrs. DoolittIe, however, Is con
/ fdent that he viii be out by Friday.
She says if the opening game the
White Sex play at home doesn. Drlhg
! him out she will be genuinely alarmed
P. S.-Bill says he believes he VIII pc pc
able to go fishing Thursday as the
fish are biting.
Remember hearing about the rich
man and the eye of the needle When
you used to go to Sunday SCHOOL, Wei,
do you suppose the needles eye will
wink when John D. tries to pass
through?
President Roosevelt might save up
some of the Colorado snow storms and
take them home with him. He may
find them right handy in month or
two.
Among the other great importers of
this country should be listed T B.
Gerow. who expects to import 10000
harvest hands into Kansas in the next
two months.
Now the Kansas City packing
houses are coming forward with the
theory that the Kaw isn't navigable!
It is said that vladivostok. is clear
of ice at last. And just as Topeka is
needing some too
The strike breakers union in Chi
cago hasn't demanded another raise
for two days.
By the way. did anyone ever really
corner wheat?
There is also this in favor of ]. L.
Bristow for United States senator:
The Lawrence Gazette is fighting him.
81 don't see any call for people
laughing at newly-married couples
who hang on to each other" said
/ Deacon Twogood today. Me and
Sarah done that when we was mar
ried and were on our honeymoon, and
/ it's all right. I saw a young couple
going down Kansas avenue today
/ hanging On to one another, and peo-
/ pie giggled and pointed at them. I
expect it was the first time they was
ever married to each other and they
probably never will be again, SO why
not let 'em hang on?"
Is Formal D. Hyde. who is some
times mentioned in connection with
! tainted beef, a relative of Equitable
Hyde?
The lawyers in the Nan Patterson
case called one another liars just like
Kansas politicians, but the defense
seems to have won by a score of 8
to 3.
Perhaps the fact that John Q. Royce
lives in the Sixth district instead of
the Second has something to do with
J. Leeford Brady's throwing things at
him. J. Leeford isn't running for
congress in the Sixth.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09
oUAKER REFnECTToNs.

TFrom the Philadelphia Record.I
The roof-garden waiter should get
tip-top fees.
Somehow or other a woman doesn't
feel fattered when some other woman
falls in love with her husband.
The dollar that looked so small when
YOU borrowed it seems as big as a Fer
ris wheel when you have to pay it back
Tommy-"Pop what IS the difference
between a want and a need?" Tommy S
Well, we are told that man
wants but little here below, but we
generally find that he needs a lot"
The pessimist with vain regret,
Recalls the distant past.
And signs because he can't forget
It was too good to last.
Harduppe-"You say, it's ten years
since you last met. Did he remember
your Borrowell-"Oh, he remembered
me, all right. I asked him to lend me
IS and he wouldn't"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09
How to Eat Hot Cakes.

A rosy checked man sat in a quick
lunch restaurant and ate his wheat
cakes in way that kept the eyes of
his neighbors fixed on his plate. After
having buttered them he patiently
pulled them apart with his fork. The
knife did not touch them. and each
cake was torn into ragged, irregular
bits.
saTalxes more time he observed to
the man next him, but there's no
danger of indigestion. It's cutting
cutting hot cakes with a knife and
then swallowing the section whole that
makes them hard to digest. Just eat
EN- the way I do and you'll never
know you swallowed them. PITTS
burg Press
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

Miami county for burglary. While there
he was identified as a noted desperate
who had killed a Pincerton detective
near Union No. after robbing a bank
there. He was captured in Connecticut
after a long chase and confined in st.
Louis while awaiting trial for the muir
der. He made a sensational escape
from Jail in St. Louis, and was not
heard of afterwards until he was iden-
titled in the Kansas penitenbary. It re-
quired a pardon by Governor Bailey to
get him out Of the Kansas prison so
that he could be taken back to Mis-
souri, and hanged, and he is perhaps
the only man ever fought his own par
don in Kansas.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09
REFLECTIONS Of A BACHELOR

TFrom the New York Press
love is a disease that you can eaten
like the measles and get over.
A man learns a lot about not getting
rich in the summer resort season.
A woman always tries to figure our
from the way the envelope is addressed
whether the letter contains good news
or bad news.
One of the reIaxations of home, after
you have worked down town all day. is
to try to solve the servant problem
with your family.
It's dangerous not to notice a new
dress your wife has, because she thinks
you are not interested, and it's danger
Gus to notice because it may be a new
one you forgot to notice before.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

The month of April went out like
a non'-just the way March used to
act and DumOnt Smith calls Stubs q
dictator and Stubs says Smith is
liar. A couple of newspaper men down
in this section of the state are ready
to spring at each others Threats when
they ought to be dwelling in peace
What's the matter with the atmosphere
Pratt Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

Tomorrow, dearly beloved, is the day
of days for the man whose idea of hap
piness is to wade through a stream full
of cold water up to his hips or his neck
for the purpose of catching a four-inch
trout on the end of a twenty-foot line.
He will go forth at the dawn and will
not return for several days, perhaps,
but that is not your funeral, dearly be-
loved. Let him go, and when he comes
back from the creek with a crick in his
back, a red nose and a string of fairy
tales, treat him kindly and lend him
your arnica bottle. It takes all kinds
of people to make a world.-Los Angeles
Times
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09
GLOBE SIGHTS
From the Atehison elobe.l

FFrom the Atchison Globe1
Don't put on every shoe that fits you.
Ever remark that your favorite barber
is always busy?
Nothing wears out quite so completely
a s a welcome.
We have never had an ambition to own
the largest dog in town.
Farmers will talk a good deal now about
their horses being "overhet."
A good deal of the work connected with
bringing up children is pure nonsense.
A woman's burden of providing meals
is doubly heavy If the husband does not
like eggs.
Every particularly mean man seems to
have a wife who exaggerates the sacred
ness OF her marriage VOW.
When a man is idle his first thought is
of reform: his second, of the scandaIous
way his neighbors are acting
We have noticed that a real estate agent
always has just what you want and that
ne Is able to offer it to you at a bargain
It IS getting to be harder and harder m
find a father who tells his sons Of f1c,,-S
drowned. 81
We have never yet seen woman whose
mar was coming down who looked as
a trying time.
When woman objects to the smell of
COOKING reaching the front of the house
ner husband is never as indignant as she
It is said Of an Atchison man that vvt,a,,
It comes To laughing at a preachers ioIrs
spades. al ~ ana
Not satisfied with the ordeal Of nanag-
ing ner skirts in the wind a vzror,le,,1 e -
TO wear the biggest hat she go lii5 ~ he e
the millinery store Ill iiilu III
A California woman went crazv aftor
sasi,llls q clalrVoyant. Perhaps her in
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09
! as 70 POLICE cOAnnssIONERs.

AS TO POLICE COMMISSIONERS
In his sermon Sunday DR.. w. c.
Evans, pastor Of the First NJ. z. church,
bewailed the fact that Kansas no long
er has a metropolitan police law SO that
Governor Hoch might appoint police
commissioners to enforce prohibition in
all the cities of the first class in the
state. Dr.. Evans pointed to what Gov
ernor Folk is doing in Missouri as evil
dence Of the benefits of a metropolitan
police law.
Such a law works both ways. how
ever. It is all right IL the governor
happens to be on your SIDE but it is
disastrous if he happens to be the other
way. For instance, Folk is the first
governor Missouri has had who en-
forced Sunday closing through the met
ropOlitan police law, and under it Mis-
souri, cities were powerless to do any
thing of the kind themselves had they
so desired.
Kansas tried the metropolitan police
system for the express purpose of Civ
ing the governor the power to enforce
prohibition in Wichita, Leavenworth
and other saloon towns. Instead Of OPP
Grating that way, when a governor was
elected who was not a prohibitionist
the law was not enforced in cities
which would have enforced it had the
people had local control of their police
system.
In Topeka, for instance. the people
are in favor of closing the joints. but
If we had a metropolitan police law,
and man in the governors chair who
was weak or who did not believe in
enforcing the law, Topeka would have
joints regardless of local sentiment
against them. So it can be seen that
the metropolitan police system is a
good thing only when it has the right
kind Of a governor back Of it
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

Topeka is to befavored with some rare
entertainments in the way of lectures
in the immediate future-entertain-
ments which viii be instructive as well
as amusing. Among them Will be
Bishop Manifold, one of the leading di-
vines Of the country; Governor Hanley
Of Indiana. an official who is patterned
much like Folk Of Missouri; Mr.. Gun
saulUs of Chicago. one of the great
platform speakers Of the United States;
and DR.. J. W. Bowen, one of the fore
most negro orators of the world
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09
KinIinp at Iuncheon.

1t may be amusing to the owner Of
a dog to call it after a celebrity, but
sometimes it is rather hard on she
celebrity.
AT tea the other day a woman
heard the following remarks made
about her favorite author. She turned
to listen, amazed by the eccentricities
of conduct narrated
why, KipIing behaved so strange
ly! At luncheon he suddenly sprang
UP and wouldn't let the waitress come
near the table. Every time that she
tried to come near he would jump at
her.
'sHe made a dive for the cake
which was on the lower shelf of the
sideboard, and took it into the parlor
to eat it. He got the crumbs all over
the sofa and the beautiful rug.
when he had finished his cake he
sat and glared at US"
awolxe to the fact that the story was
about a dog.-New York Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

The following comment from a west
ern paper is respectfully referred to the
friends OF a certain Kansas state off,
cial; Last year, it is claimed, friends
made up a shortage of $780, for San
Rrancisco's tax collector, and kent him
in Office. This year his shortage is said
70 be $3.50. OOO.,,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09
THE STAGE.

One humane society alone in New
York reports that in the past year it
had in its care fifteen girls, ali under
sixteen, who were wrecked for life by
going on the stage. They fell into bad
company, and the rest was easy. In
this connection they say that the last
batch of girls who went wrong were
with a big Ben Hur' company; that
their parents claimed that owing to the
religious character of the play, no harm
could befall their children who took
part.-Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09
FROM OTHER PENS.
WE ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.

W Z ANTItIN . II 2 MS I
The State Journal claims that Mr..
Bryan fiimhammed Topeka because in
his lecture in that city a short time ago
on "The Value of an Ideal" he didn't
say a word about the good points of
that heifer he paid $500 for. He spoke
about something, however, with which
Topeka is better acquainted, the water
ing of stock.-Parsons Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09
Hooks and Eyes.

On the basis of the population of
the United States being so. 100000. this
country uses more than 5000, 900, 900
of lace eyes and hooks a year. Every
man, woman and child will wear out
an average of two pairs of shoes in
pie have two feet and there are 20
eyes and hooks in each shoe. Use
your arithmetic and see what the to-
tai is. 1t foots up to 100000 more
than 100000, 000.-ATilwaulze Sen
tinel.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09
IT WAS CHET THOMAS ADVICE.

One would think that a man who has
been in politics as long as Tom Plat
has been would know better than to
write love letters or any other kind Of
letters. Old Simon Cameron'S advice
to his son was to walk twenty miles
sooner than write one letter." It was
wise tip, and all the more to be OBJ
served when there is a srnooth-tongued,
smiling woman in the case.-Los An
geles Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

And now it seems that Indiana has
some laws which have been considered
obsolete heretofore which viii be en-
forced by the governor OF that state in
the future. to the dismay of the law
breaking element. The idea that laws
are made to be Obeyed seems to be
anraadlna
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09
DOINGs IN KANSAS.

Kansas will have little time to de-
vote to raising corn this year. Monnett
batting the Standard Oil company,
Lawson has agreed to tweak the eagles
tail on the Fourth of July, and now
comes the announcement that Washing
ton GLADDEN. will demonstrate his just
ly famous test for faint next MONTH
PitfShnra Times
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

The doctors may be right after all in
saying that kissing is unhealthy. At a.
New Jersey wedding recently the guests
all kissed the bride, after a JERSEY
fashion. The next day she was taken
with a virulent form Of smallpox and
now every guest at the wedding is
quarantined
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09
Where Popcorn Comes From.

Fifteen years ago, at the little town or
North Loup, in central Nebraska,
farmer planted forty acres of popcorn
His neighbors thought he had taken
leave of his senses Today so per cent
of the popcorn produced in commercial
quantities in the United States is grown
in this vicinity. Last year, the banner
year, between 800 and 400 cars, con-
tanning nearly 5000, 600 pounds, were
shipped from this village Of 1000 inhab-
itants Practically the whole of this
goes to wholesale dealers in Chicago,
and is distributed from there.
North Loup corn possesses the highly
desirable quality of being ready to pop
as soon as gathered. That produced in
other districts must either be held year
or else kiln-dried before it will pop
freely. The bright, dry falls of central
Nebraska, together with the fact that
the occasional fall rains are followed at
once by warm sunshine, which thor
oughly dries both the stalk and the
corn. render the North Loup product
available Immediately.
About g. 500 acres are annually planted
to popcorn in this locality, using four
pounds of seed per acre. The small size
of the seed requires a special plate in
the planter. The seed is drilled in, al
lowing only one kernel in a hill, the
hills twelve inches apart one way, but
three feet four inches the other The
stalks stool out, but inasmuch as corn
produced on the stooled stalks, called
'sucker ears is of poor color and in
ferior quality the grower covers these
superfiuous stalks with his cultivator,
leaving only one stalk in each hill. Most
stalks produce two good ears, some four
Where only one ear grows on a stalk
it is likely to be coarse and of poor
quality Medium-sized ears produce the
best cOFn.-F'armers' Advocate.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09
AN on BELT OPINION.

The Mail and Breeze has offered a
prize for the biggest liar. It should go
to the Standard official who sprung the
story during the legislature that the
credit of the Standard was so impaired
by agitation that it couldn't get money
to continue laying pipes and building
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

Now some Of the old college profess
sors are actually asking if Mr.. Carne-
gie's money is tainted. At this rate it
won't be long before a millionaire who
wants to give away his money will
have to label it. mot Tainted"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

Some man has evidently overlooked
a prize in the matrimonial lottery. Miss
ANNA L. Amendt is said to draw a sal
airy OF $4,000 a year as one of the Off
GERS OF the Equitable. and she makes
a good commission on the side from
other insurance.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

As hardly anyone but railway mag
mates have yet been summoned to ties
tify before Senator Elkins' interstate
commerce committee, It will not be sur
prising if the committee is convinced of
the terribly iniquity Of allowing rail-
road rates to be fixed in a way that
would be fair to both the roads and the
rublfo
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

The fear is expressed that Governor
Hoch may get 50 busy with the While
Sell, John Collins, Jessie Morrison and
Emmet Dalton pardon cases, to say
nothing of the prohibitory law, that he
may forget that investigation of the
state treasury Hutchinson News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

Rojestvensky seems to be calmly
awaiting his fate about forty miles
north of Kamranh bay For an admiral
who has every American newspaper
against him. he is exhibiting remark
able GOODNESS in the rgency.-Wichi
ia Beacon.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09
NOTHINc H0rDTNG HIM.

Japan, it is reported, is still undecid-
ed as TO the genuineness of French neu-
trality. We do not see that there is
anything holding Admiral Togo and If
he feels equal to the task of settling the
Russian feet the neutrality question
will be out Of the ckoning.-Indian-
apoIis Sentinel.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

The Abilene Reflector, which, on
general principles, is opposed to
strikes, says: IF the Bill Collectors
union wants to go on May Day strike
we can stand it,"-Clay Center Dis
patch
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

Eugene F. Ware, the Kansas poet,
is not aware that it is incumbent upon
him to provide a portrait of himself
to be placed in the office of the COM
missioner of pensions along with
those of his predecessors and he re-
fuses to do so.-Chicago Chronicle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

Governor Hoch has thought some
pretty warm thoughts on the subject of
law enforcement. Now is a good time
to try them on Wichita and L,eaven-
worth to see how they Will Rork-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

Several prominent citizens of Salina
were seen to duck when man show
ed up there last week claiming to be q
'physiognomist." Clay Center Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09
KANSAS COMMENT.


:
me EIks have dedicated a new sew
enty-nve- thousand-dolIa building at
Parsons. The hlks al Salina have oedf-
Gated new water wagon, donated by
the mayor.-Ottawa Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09
OLD FASHIONED.

A man was killed at Lancaster, On
tarfo, while trying to rob a bank. There
are still a few of the old-time robbers
who have not learned that the proper
method of robbins a bank is to work
from the inside,-New York Examiner
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

Chicago intends to extend to Presi-
dent Roosevelt the freedom of the city
when he gets there-provided the team
sters do not have it securely locked up
by thar time
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09
THE WIILIE SELL CASE.

There are eighteen counties in the
state that have no representation in the
state penitentiary. NeOsho is not one
OF them, and as long as 1888 people
from this county have their way, there
will always be at least one person there.
Erie Record
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

william Rudolph. the Missouri Kid, -
has really been hanged. He is perhaps
the only man who was ever in the Kan
sas penitentiary who was taken out to
suffer the death penalty. Rudolph was
sent to the Kansas state prison from
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

The dispatches say that Oyama has
ehe Russians guessing again. And have
sou noticed that the Russians generally
guess Wrong2
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

A Council Grove mother speaks of her
daughters lance as my daughter
hasco." She may be right after ALL
Junction City Republic.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

The Toxic chamber of commerce is
talking Of boycotting France because
that nation is a little too friendly with
Russia. An international boycott
would be something entirely new.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

II you are needing a crisis just ap-
ply to Russia or Chicago. They seem
20 have crises enough to supply the
worlds markets for some time to come.
They have sort Of free and unlimited
coinage Of crises. as it were.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09
THAT INN LANE STORY.

"Rojestvensky is looking for the jap
ships says a newspaper headline.
Looking for them to avoid them, as Jim
Lane might have safd.-Iola Register.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

The old-fashionad way Of robbing a.
bank seems to have become entirely
obsolete since Mrs. Chadwick and
Banker Bigelow came forward with
more up-to-date methods.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09
KNOWs A GOOD THTNG.

1t is not to be wondered at that the
Standard is planning to build one hun
dred more tanks in Kansas. Having
forced oil down cheaper than water
the octopus knows a good thing
Chanute Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

Il Is suspected that the Colorado
bears did not Join in the Centennial
states urgent invitation to the presi-
dent 20 come again.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

OF course it's a Chicago theory that
khe bears killed by President Roosevelt
were innocent bystanders
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

You wiz notice that the Russians do
their advertising before the battle: The
Baps wait TIL afterwards.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

The. world has been "on- the eve OF
a great naval battle" now for several
weeks. It seems to be one Of these
ewes that they have within the Arctic
circle, where the nights are six months
long.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-09

Isn't It about time for that Chicago
grand Jury to sneak up and tell us a
Few things about meat?