davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
Mixes Preference.

Car "Merrymeeting' was just sweep
ing gracefully around a curve on the
occasion of the recent reunion of
Glovers Band of Auburn, when How
ard Eaton began again:
when 1 am off on a time like this
1 always think of my friend. Tim
Murphy, the actor. You know him,
don't you? You know Tim is a great
fellow for good yarns, and his favorite
custom is to come out in front of the
curtain (after about six curtain calls)
and tell some of them. Here's one that
I heard him tell to a packed house one
night, when I was sitting down in the
row that has no hair on top of its head.
ga couple of Irish friends of mine,
said he, were doing New York. Pretty
soon they came to Tiffany's window
Mike said Pat, "how would you
like to have your pick out of all those
gewgaws, begorry?''
g oh, faith,' said Mike. Il would a
burned sight rather have me shovel!' -
Lewiston (Me.) Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
A Soldiers Wit.

The following anecdote of General
r. E. Lee was told by an old soldier
of the Confederate army to a visitor
from the west as they drove together
along the beautiful wooded country
roads of Kentucky one day in early
fall.
Everyone remembers the pitifuI
scarcity of food the southern fighters
experienced, and as the two passed
persimmon tree the old soldier said:
Zone day as General Lee was riding
along on his horse not q great way
from camp, he came upon a company
of his men standing under a persim-
mon tree. gathering up the fruit as it
was shaken from the branches by one
of their number up in the tree. Rein
ing in his horse as the men saluted,
the general called out:
my men, don't you see those per-
simmons are greene
Eyes, general one replied. respect
fully. We are trying to pucker up
our stomachs to fit the rations!' -
Los Angeles Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.

IFrom the Philadelphia Record,1
The chronic kicker often lives to kick
himself.
Many a mans point of view needs
sharpening.
Even the high flyer may be addicted
to low habits.
Always tell the truth If you want to
make trouble.
When man has the disposition of a
mule don't talk about him behind his
back
There is no reason why a man with
money should look as though he didn't
have a friend in the world
Wigg-"That girl with glasses sup
pose, is near-sighted.' Wagg-"She
seems like a good locker to me-
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. is always getting
run down by automobiles" Borrower
Yes; that fellow can't even dodge a
creditor
Mrs. Muggins-"Is your husband gen.
erous with you? Mrs. Buggins-"W Wei,
he promised to take me to Atlantic City
last Sunday. got me down to the ferry
and gave me the Slip
New shoes are like marriage;
They make US all sQuea1.
But the longer we wear 'em
The better they feel
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
POINTED PARAGRAPHS

IFrom the Chicago News.1
Some rich thieves are called f1nan-
ciers.
Dishonest grocers seldom resort to
legal measures.
Jokes on marriage are funny only to
those who are not married.
When the landlord raises the rent he
expects the tenant to raise it also.
A girl seldom refuses to eat corn
from the cob unless she has store
teeth.
How wonderfully developed must be
the furniture movers bump of de-
structiveness!
A woman never judges a mans
he hands her.
When some men have no better oc-
cupation they hunt up something for
their wives to do.
If a lawyers success depended who'll
w upon the gift of CAB there would be
more woman lawyers
If a girl refuses young mans pro-
nosal he thinks she doesn't know her
mind, so he doesn't mind her no.
A woman is as old as she looks. but
every woman imagines she Is the ex-
cepfion that proves the rule.
A girl may be called an angel in
wings on her hat instead of her Shout
ders-
Many a man who has succeeded in
carving out a vast fortune for himself
would not be able to carve a boarding
house turkey.
Many a girl has been screly disap-
pointed because a young man asked
her to marry him instead of asking
her to accompany him to the ti1eater.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
CLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison Globe

lFTOm the Atch1SOn Globe.
When the preacher goes away on a
members take theirs by not going to
church.
An Atchison woman turned down a
trip to New York 'I have to stay at
home, and save my husband" is her
excuse.
with child in it. and too lonesome
for comfort when the child leaves, and
there you are.
When woman is an amateur horse
back rider, she appears to as bad an
advantage riding on the main street, as
an amateur singer in public.
Bud Russell lately paid a thousand
dollars for ten acres in Missouri. Ask
ed where it was, he replied: at is a
squirrel jump from Iatan.''
There are some unreliable travellers,
and some unreliable parents, but every
person who goes to sea is seasick, and
every little baby has collie.
They didn't have cannon firecrack-
ers many years ago, or your father
might have lost that hand he used to
spank you when you cried for some.
When a man gets discouraged and
charged his duty to his family by ask
ing other relatives to "be good" to
them.
A man died lately ESQ the story
gOeS), and the doctor said the death
was due to heart failure, but his wife
said it was due to hating people I'M
necessarily.
We were talking to an old man to-
day who said there had been eighteen
children in his family, eleven girls and
seven boys. The boys were all named
after Cumberland Presbyterian min
listers.
We are getting there: Fourth of
July night we enjoyed watching
child shoot off dollar display of fire.
works instead of going to see the big
grandchildren, all right, although We
don't think SO now.
An Atchison man was standing at a
window recently, when all of sudden
he began screaming. The family rush.
pacify him had succeeded, he explain
ed that he had screamed at the sight
of funeral going by in driving rain.
Church White says he didn't think
he would be fond of grandchildren, but
he is. He was lately seen taking a
baby buggy home, and in the evening
he goes about the neigh borhood carry
ing his grandchild, to show it to people
who doubt that it is the finest baby in
the world. o, we old men!
Two of John Wolfe's boys lately
climbed to the roof of a new house in
the neighborhood, and got into trou-
BILE Their father rescued tn em. Then
he took them home and gave them a
whining Another son hadn't been
on the roof. but the father whipped
him, too, as warning to keep off of
roofs.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
KANSAS C0NMENT
LIVING AND DYING FAST.

Collapsed mentally or physically, or
both. And it is every day. So called
big men. statesmen, warriors. profess
sional and business men go all to pieces
in an hour. And the why and the where
fore? They know. We know. Every
body knows and yet nobody cares. The
world says, let them die; there are
plenty left. The man who stuffs like a
pig, drinks like fish and loafs like a
hobo will collapse. The man who lives
proposition. While the one who lives
nationally, sanely, lives long and dies
slowly and peacefully. Too many people
are burning the candle at both ends.
But then. why preach, why pirate, why
refer to it? They are not missed and
there would be no place for them should
they come back.-EI Dorado Republic
can,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
THAT SURETY RoNn.

According to an agent for the Title
Guaranty and Trust company, which
is on State Treasurer Kelly's bond for
half million dollars, the bond guar
autees the state against loss only by
the violation of some law. 1t proposes
to hold that the s547, 900 that was in
the First National bank was there in
the process of collection and not in
violation of law.
If this claim is correct concerning
the bond, the state must prove that
Kelly violated the law before the sur
ETY. company can be held for a cent
of the loss to the state through the
bank failure. If Kelly can find a
4ooDhole through which he can es-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Some of Burton's proteges may beat
him to Jail yet.
Wichita, Leavenworth and some of
the other envious Kansas towns scott
at the idea that Topeka has 40 900 in
habitants. If they don't believe it they
can just come here and count the people
for themselves.
There is an Odessa township up in
Jewell county, but it raises corn instead
of the article they raise in the Russian
town of that name.
Anyway, it will be eleven months be-
fore the small boy will begin to cell
citrate again. Let's look on the bright
side.
If this notion os convicting United
States senators of being common GRIM
inals becomes a fixed habit with the
federal courts, how long will it be until
there won't be a quorum left to do
business?
You often hear people speak of a
"cool million" Why "cool?' Looks to
US like a million is pretty warm pro-
position.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08

A more striking example of the feet
ing character of wealth would be hard
to imagine than that afforded the people
of the west this week. On last Satur-
day Charles j. Devlin was supposed to
be the richest man in Kansas; today he
is a bankrupt. A week ago his wealth
was estimated at six million dollars;
today he may be worse off than moth
ing. Six millions of dollars may have
shrunk until it will pay only three mil
lions of debts, or even less.
Riches are not a good thing to tie to.
There are people who have an idea that
money can do anything. There is much
that it can accomplish, but one is never
sure of it. A disastrous fire or flood, a
drouth, panic, sometimes very small
occurrence will wipe out a fortune. Yet
mono Of these things affected Mr.. Dew
Inns supposed fortune. His riches SIM
ply melted away.
"A good name is rather to be chosen
than great riches,'' says Solomon, the
Wise Man. and never was a truer ut
teranee spoken. How many men would
willingly trade the respect and conf
dence of friends and fellowmen for
money? How many would give up the
consciousness of being honest for the
sake of wealth?
After all riches will not accomplish
much. The rich man is not nearly SO
happy as a rule as the man of moderate
means, nor is he usually as good a citi-
zen. A man can use just about so much
wealth for his personal needs and no
more. It's a good thing to acquire
competence, for poverty is exceedingly
irksome and unpleasant, but the lives
of most millionaires teach that a great
amount Of wealth does not give happi-
ness nor contentment.
"Give me neither poverty nor riches"
saws the Wise Man
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
ssTT -

When the boys is yeIlin' "extray''
An the town is in . stir.
An the people crowd the sidewalk
AS they come from near an fur,
The man that made the trouble
Very often you will find
Sittin' restful In his office
In placid frame of mind.
It amt the man that cheers the most
Who rules election day
1t amt the angry talker
Who will drive the trusts away:
It's the silent, patient person
Who can smile and never shirk-
The man that does the fussin'
Amt the man that does the work.
Washington STIR.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08

The Washington Post thinks at
would be something of joke if those
Kansas farmers should kidnap Tom
Lawson and put him at work in the
harvest helds.' If Thomas had come
out here two weeks earlier that joke
might have become serious reality
Ia him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
A NEWsY TOWN.

We shall look with interest for the
current copies Of our esteemed con-
temporary, the Odessa Viedomoski
Gradonatshalstwa In our minds eye
we can see the editorial staff reeling
off burning galleys of stuff, the re-
porters writing their copy with char
coal, the presses roaring, and an extra
out every half hour. Odessa is a hot
town for news, just now, il you'll stop
to think a minute-Los Angeles
Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08

If the shade of King George III
Hooks down on this fair land of ours.
how he must smile to himself when
he looks over the list of Fourth of
July casualties in the papers of
HuIv T.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
DEAD AND LIVE DUMMIES

It has just been discovered that a
gentleman formerly connected with
the Equitable Life, but who died tIir-
teen months ago, has continued to
draw his salary during all that period.
But perhaps it is as legitimate to pay
it to dead dummy as to a live one
Boston Transcript.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
RILLY MoRGAN THERE.

The dispatches say that 100 million
dollars will be spent in Europe this
season by American tourists. The sum
will not seem so unusual If it is re-
called that an ex-Kansas state printer
and a state senator are among the Wis
Titors.-Saiina Union.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
AN OVERSIGHT.

In referring to the status of the Office
of election commissioner in Kansas City,
Kan, Saturdays Kansas City Times
says: The attorney general has with
drawn his opinion that the Office is va
can't" Mr.. Coleman has been so unani-
nous about giving opinions that
wouldn't stand and in losing suits in
which the state was interested that
most of the papers have neglected to
give him credit for convicting Camp
bell, the bribe-taker on the Kansas City
school board.-Kingman Leader-Courier.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08

with Kelly. Mr.. Coleman, you have
been the most lamentabIe failure as an
attorney general that the present gen.
Grafton of Kansans have seen. Don't
you think, Mr.. Coleman. you could
serve your state best by stepping aside
and allowing some one else to be
real attorney general?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
PANAMA.

Rejoice we can't communicate
With other stars.
Give heartfelt thanks we don't know how
To talk to Mars.
For while observing our canal.
Its progress slow,
They. must be aching to yell down:
Il told you so.''
New York san.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08

''No," says the Chicago Tribune,
which keeps tab on all the Fourth
Of July accidents every year and tab
ulates them, sit didn't seem to do any
good to publish the CHASTITY statistics
Of the previous ones''
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR
tFrom the New York Press.l

A husband is ashamed to be affec-
tionate in public; woman not to be.
A girl will always resist flirting if
there are no men or boys anywhere
around.
In a peek-a-boo shirt waist some wo-
men remind one Of a man falling out
of a balloon.
When a man is young he wants to
marry and love, and money doesn't
count; when he is married he wants
money and nothing else counts.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08

The next time Senator Burton waits
around in the senate cloak room, hop
Eng to be called on to vote on the
statehood bill, he will probably have
the distinguished company of the
senator from Oregon.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08

If everybody who has stolen from
the Equitable or received salaries to
which they have not been entitled.
are compelled to disgorge, the Eauit-
able will be able to run a good while
without any assessments on the pol
lev holders
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08

Wonder if Chauncey Depew knows
of any funny little story that would
illustrate his being pried loose from
that twenty-thousand-a that he
didn't earn.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
ONLY a SLIGHT DIFFERENcE

A northwest automobile enthusiast has
returned from a visit to the Fiji islands
and says that the natives Frustrated them
selves before the machine and called it the
father of all devils" The only differ
ence between us and the natives is that
we lean sidewise when we denominate it.
Minneapolis Evening Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08

John Madden escaped from the
Populist party just in time by getting
out last fall. The "Katy'' would have
been very apt to have SHE'D at en-
ploying Populist of John Madden's
prominence as its general attorney.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

Subscribers of the State Journal
away during the summer may have
ene paper mailed regularly each day
70 any address at the ratio of thirty
cents month. Address changed as
often as desired. While out OF town
Gne State Journal will be to you like
. daily letter from home.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
WE Will IN TIME.

We have the spectacle of the big
packers of the country all under in
dictments, but so far as we have been
able to ascertain, Commissioner Gar
field has not decided whether the oil
octopus is a good trust or a bad trust
Let's hear from Young Mr.. Garfield
LeayenWorth Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08

Yale just can't desert an old friend
like Mr.. Rockefeller, just on account
of tainted money, especially if he in
tends to hand out a million or so oc-
casionally
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
TIME FOR ACTION.

Superintendent Hendricks report,
coming as it does after years of indif-
ference in the matter of close inquiry,
is almost positive proof that the cor
porate affairs of the great life insur-
anee companies have not been made
the subject of close official supervision,
and the time has now arrived when a
searching inquiry should be applied to
all of them. If the superintendent of
insurance of the state of New York
does not care to undertake this work,
then it must be entered upon by the
superintendent or commissioner of
some other state. So far as those who
have defrauded the Equitable COM
pany are concerned. clearly criminal
prosecution to bring about restitution
and proper punishment is in their
cases urgently called for.-Boston
Herald
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08

How glad the rest of the beef trust
officials must be over that eighteen
hour schedule toward Europe, if
there are to be any more grand juries
in Chicago!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08

cape conviction for. depositing state
money in the banks. the surety COM
pany bond would not only not be good
for the loss occasioned in the First Ma
tional bank failure, but it does not
protect the state on the half million
dollars or more that Kelly still has
on tieposit in other hanks
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08

The Russian people are demanding
that the car give them more liberty
At present the car would be glad of
4 little liberty for his own use, let
alone some to give away.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
A TIP TO LOOMS.

The minister to a Latin-American
republic in particular should keep
clear of syndicates, concessions and
claims.-Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
UNLIKELY.

Teller win have to get rid of his money
in larger amounts than 100000 Jumps
Yet, If he throws away a wad like that
every I'VE minutes or so, and doesn't die
during the next twenty years, there's no
telling but he might possibly succeed in
compelling the county to bury him, after
all-Los Angeles Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08

It was really no great surprise that
She state was beaten in the refinery
suit Attorney General Coleman, you
know, represented the state.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
THIS HELPS SOME.

The fact that the failure of the
First National bank of Topeka is the
first one in Kansas in many years and
that it is likely to be the last for some
time, helps some.-Lawrence Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08

Perhaps Kelly is only technically
guilty of depositing state funds in the
First National bank.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08

It's peculiar how many people
knew that Taft wasn't just the man
for secretary OF state anyway.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08

Victor Murdoch has gone to Hawaii
Perhaps he is trying to get away from
tl1at Carnegie Hero Medal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08

Instead of being called 1.-THE bear
that walks like a man." Russia is now
regarded simply as a weak sister.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08

Perhaps Depew was paid that $780,.
600 year to attend the Equitable
dinners and crack the jokes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
IN THE SECOND.

Since Seth wells came right out and
bawled through the Record megaphone
that he hoped that Henry Allen would
lick the stuff1n' out of Charley Scott in
the congressional fight in the Second
district" Scott is mighty glad that the
Second district wasn't changed by leav-
ing out Franklin county and placing
Neosho county in that district. The OF
tawa Herald hasn't gone SO far as to
commit itself to that extent yet. al
though it is suspected that when the
fight warns up it will support Allen on
the grounds that he is a home man
occasional lly.-Parsons Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08

Russia has always wanted warm
water port" In Odessa she has q
Regular hot water port
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08

Still, Engineer Wallace has that
$4,000 job as a soIace.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08

Probably Senator Mitchell won't re-
sign either until he is kicked cut.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
SOME LEGAL ETHICS.

Senator Depew has drawn 100000 from
the EdreaDie ousin s ae PAS Ii, SIX year rS
member of the executive committee
About all the service he rendered for the
salary was in getting the salaries of Hyde
and Alexander raised to the 100000 mark.
If Mr.. Jerome is to take a hand in the
Equitable affair, he should proceed to
make old Depew unload the graft
Houston Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
ERON OTHER PENS
NO USE.

NO USE.
The bonds of poverty he cut;
His fortune hourly grew.
He got a million dollars. But
He got dyspepsia, too.
Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
A PACE THAT DOESN'T KILL.

1.-THE pace that kills. is being discuss
ed by newspapers and doctors in the big
cities. They agree that the rush to get
rich, the custom of eating too fast and
the general excitement brings on heart
disease and stomach trouble. The KAN
sas farmer gets rich by leisurely sowing
his wheat in the fall and selling it in
the following summer. No heart trouble
here.-Pratt Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08
The DIFFERENCE.

Justice Brewers views of the woman
question are vastly different from those
entertained by ex-President Cleveland.
The ladies adore Judge Brewer.-St.
Louis Globe
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08

Don't you think the custom of throw
ing rice at a newly married couple Is
idiotic?' asked the f1uffy-haired maid.
Sure, answered the savage old bach
elor. Mush would be a great deaf more
appropriate" Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-08

81 see that New York talks of giving
when he finishes his present job
That's just like the New Workers.
They think they're offering him a pro
motion. cleveland Plain Dealer.