Los Angeles herald., 1905-06-23
NOBLE GOVERNOR
DEF|ES A WOMAN
DENIES HER RIGHT TO WEAR
PANTS
PROTECTS FRANCHISE OF MAN
Progressive Minded Woman Wires the
Governor for Permission to Don
Male Attire and Receives
6rusque Refusal
PROTECTS FRANCHISE OF MAN

ly flashed the news across the land and
water area of this mundane sphere that
a foolhardy woman had electrified the
governor of an eastern state with the
request by telegraph that she be per-
mltted to doff the badge of femininity
and don the garb of masculinity; In
other words she wanted to wear the
pants" actually as we'll as theoreti-
cally.
How scandalousl How absurd! And
yet what an inspiring sight she would
be upon Broadway at high noon, her
lovely contour nattily encased in BIZ
furcated garments as stylish as the
exacting tailor could construct and fit-
ting like the paper on the WALL" How
many cholly boys and women oglers
would dare to stand in the pathway of
this progressive woman as she jauntily
march a la military through the won
dering and admiring throngs of the
shopping district? Whoop-la!
And yet the sturdy governor, with
characteristic foresight, in full realiza-
tion of the forbearing and long suffer-
ing nature of mankind, who has noted
without a whimper the gradual annex
alton of his sacred and dearest badge
of distinctiveness and individuality, the
shirt, suspender, hat, shoe, coat, vest,
cuffs, collar, tie and cane, not to men
tion his union suit, by the hand that
rocks the cradle" dashed the hopes Of
this progressive example of twentieth
century womanhood to the direst, deep
est, blacklist and non-returnab1e-from
Oblivion you can imagine by coolly,
calmly, curtly, manfuly and with
slight regard for the amenities of the
occasion. saying something no woman
can utter, the, simple, heartrending,
malevolent, yet impressive mo"
And hence, nevertheless, without
further explanation, this martyr to
manhood's fastly-ebbing rights, put an
immediate "lid" on further trespassing
upon the downtrodden. henpecked set
who voted for him by refusing the in
diligence by the sickly blonde and the
brazen brunette of an iridescent dream
Of further humiliation of the strong
minded. bread winning, salary-g grab
pIlS, dHu
vansary creature whose troubles began
with the ending of his happy dream in
the Garden of Eden, when the design
ing female first stepped her dainty
footlets upon the sacred precincts
heretofore occupied only by her fu-
ture lord-and-master-for -purposes-of-
persecution-only. and which aforesaid
Ioxv -
him ever since because, manlike, he
could not compete with the hellishness
of the weaker vessel more frail of
construction, but, like certain animal
of decided odoriferous predictions,
always in ascendancy when a man is
has never yet been outgeneraled by
brains and Drawn because her wit is
more like a butcher knife than the
sword resembles DEATH
Woman was placed on earth to tor
ment man. and only the forty-four mill
lion years which have elapsed since the
appearance of this incarnation of
trough house" and care-contagion can
attest the wonderful forbearance of the
image of Deity during this long scourge
which has troubled him until the boils
of Job become hilarious farce e-comedy
by comparison.
She sure wears the masculine en-
blem of authority in figurative sense,
but mankind makes the laws and does
the voting, and with this slight and
only advantage of the original article
of humanity with the-name- blown-in-
the-bottle- all s-are-counterfeits, it
is proposed that he will continue to
hold the only source of revenge for his
interminable sentence to henpecked
existence for his first and only serious
offense-that of gazing too intently
upon the vision of loveliness which ap-
peared before his befuddled eyes like
an apparition of Venus in ballroom at
tire and getting wise" to the fact that
his was the first case of love at first
sight on record.
The inevitable result of associating
man with woman followed and she
promptly panhandles him out of his
throne and has since occupied the seat
of authority and held man in abject
slavery. compelling him to buy her
millinery and furnish the wherewith
for the qualification of her inordinate
wants, which have ever been more
than the salary limit at every stage of
the game.
From his downfall on that fatal day
man. has tobogganed at her beckoning
until he has been forced to build jails
ir which to hide himself gallows upon
which to hang himself, electric chairs
ia which to electrocute himself, and
to invent other forms of fiendish and
sudden death to escape the baneful
effects of her presence upon earth, and
when he dies and goes to hell he will
find her there to welcome him to a
return of "the good old summer time"
which he suicided to escape on earth.
And. manlike, he will repeat the his
torical existence and Incidents thereof
during his residence above ground by
falling in love with her and permitting
her TO place him lovingly and tenderly
upon the flaming bed and cool his