davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06
JOURNAL ENTRIES

An Erie man received a telegram
from his former wife, from whom he
had been divorced about ten days,
saying she was again married. What
the public would like to know is if
the usual postscript was attached to
1t, If she began the message ''Dear
john" and if she sent it collect.
You will notice that the bald heads
score again in the appointment of
Harry Bone.
Speaking of the values of various
metals, brass is sometimes better than
silver or gold in attaining an object.
Eydtkuhnen, East Prussia, is break
ing into the ispatches-unless the
linotype stubbed its toe.
Unlike the average court, no teehni-
caHties Ego" with Death.
There is this argument against do
ing your Christmas shopping early:
II you do you are sure to see a lot of
things you like better afterwards.
Albert Reid thinks the cause of the
break in the Russian cable was be-
cause some careless operator tried to
send Russian name too fast and
overloaded the wires Which sug-
gests this thought: What a blessing it
IS that some of those Leavenworth
names do not often get on the wires.
If it hadn't been overworked before
We would say something about Joe
cannon being one of the big guns in
congress.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06
THETR- oIIEER raRGE.rs

The same old tales are coming in
From scenes Of reckless cunning,
Where hunters wildly bang away,
Though many risks they're running.
The same mistakes are being made,
Displaying lack of reason,
As those that have been causing grief
In every hunting season.
It's bad enough when horses. cows.
And mules and pigs are stopping
The leaden pellets from the guns
And in their tracks are drOppings
But worse, by far, is blundering
That brings about the aiming
At human targets in the woods,
And ruthlessly is manning.
bunch of whislIers on a chin
Is by some gunner spotted
"A SQUIRREL he exclaims, and fires
And there a face shOt-dOtted-
Some fellows hat protrudes above
The brush where he is walking;
A pheasant" is the gunner thought,
And there's result that's shocking
Some unsuspecting passer-by
Is leg or arm displaying,
And as a rabbit he's assailed
BY some one bent on Staying.
Another who's concealed from view.
BY chance some twigs is breaking,
And then he's sized up as big game,
And gets a fearful ra6ing.
OF course, there are a lot of sports
Who never make a blunder,
And who display hunting skill
That oft excftes our wonder;
But there are many others whom
IT'S wisdom TO be stunning,
And they're the chaps who make US think
That many fools go cunning.
Theodore H. Boice in Pittsburg Chron-
e-TeleHraDl.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

Cola borating on a story was one of
the features of our Christmas entertain
ment a few Years ago. The scheme was
arranged. of course, some time in ad
vance. One of the family mapped out
the outline of the story and assigned
chapters to different persons. another
decorated a cover very prettily. and a
third wrote the dedication. When the
day came the various chapters We're
bound together and read, each author
reading his or her work. There was
surprising coherency to the tale. when
It is considered that no one of the sew
eral authors had the slightest knOwl
edge of what the others had written I'M
til the complete work was read, but
there was still sufficient divergencyy be-
tween the sections to cause us great
musement.-Country Life in America
for December.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06
GLOBE SIGHTS.
fFrom the Atctison Globa.l

EFrOm the Atcbison Globe.l
The average man is liberal with one
thing: Giving his word
Trusts are blamed by some men who
wouldn't work if they could.
You never know how much you look
ike your kin till you have vour pic
ture taken.
We would like to know which batch
is higher socially: The active pail bear
ers at a funeral, or the honorary
When a boy goes calling with his
mother he is ready to leave as soon as
he has looked around and found no
eating in sight
The average man tells so many 1vo-
men he has corner in his heart set
aside for them, that that organ must
resemble a Wasp's nest.
When a man and his wife are partners
in card game the rest of the PLAYERS
find out what they really think about
each other.
When a woman is Wen and strong
herself, she takes a good deal of COM
fort in telling Of the suffering of some
delicate member Of the family.
We have noticed than when we mis-
pronounce a word. those present find
quick opportunity To- using ii and pro
nouncing it in a different way.
A woman may succeed in managing
her husband, and she may be controlled
by her daughter, but a hired girl who
understands her business. holds the en-
tire family in the palm of her hand.
When a divorced man dies, his ex-
wife Is in an embarrassing situation:
Her legal right to say mean things
about him, collides with the moral law
that one must not speak III Of the dead
Things are mixed. It does seem as
though wise old man, like santa
Claus, would do better to represent. love
than q stark naked little boy.wio would
DO very wen If he stood for Christmas
fooI5shneEs
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
tFrom the Philadelphia Press.I

IT rom the IilAldQclpula 8EeSS.
You can't always make hit with A
man by striking him for a loan.
The only way some people can get
along well together is stay apart.
The ossif7ed man may make love to
a girl, but she can never accuse him
of being too soft.
There are more Holsters in the the
atrical profession than the tank
dramas would indicate.
Rollingstone Nomoss-"Lsife amt All
beer and skittles.' Thirsty Thingum-
bob-'I don't know what skittles is.
but it amt"
Nell-"AIrs. NewIywed says the
baby has her complexion and her hue-
bands hair Belief wondered what
had become of them
''She knows everything that's going
on in our town. remarked the subtir-
banfte. Society reporter. suppose
ventured the city man. mot on your
life replied the suburbanite: sshe
operates the telephone exchange
The girl who's welded to her art.
She always makes US laugh.
We cannot tell, however smart
Which is the better half.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06
LooK OUT. JOHN ..

The entrance OF a company of women
into the oil-refining business in south
ern Kansas forecasts the end to Stand
ard Oil tyranny For in all the scope
of rebate taking, and nlarket-manipu-
lation there is nothing that a woman
would accept as final to her interests.
Mr.. Rockefeller is on the eve of going
out of business with his ears tingling
with the information that he is a hate
full old thing.-Ottawa Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06
KANSAS C0MNENT
TILE sENATE

At the risk of being accused of steal
ing Popuiist thunder, we rise to remark
that the United States senate had bet
ter so a little slow. If that dignihed
body opposes President Roosevelt in his
efforts to give the people a square deal
with the railroads, something is going to
happen The FIRST thing that viii hap
pen win be the election Of the United
states senators by a direct vote Of the
people. In fact It ought to happen any
way. The people desire to get q senator
where they can get a whack at him
whenever he begins to wObble.-Smith
County Pioneer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06
REFLECTIONS or A BACHELOR.

TFrom the New York Press.1
A girl always knows enough not 70
pretend she is old enough to be g vo-
man.
A woman likes to take care Of her
religion just the way she does OF her
best clothes.
a woman has to be mighty fat to
really ike to go horseback riding earlv
in the morning.
II man can't grumble about the
coffee being cold he win about its be-
catch a train.
When man gets of as his own 4
joke he read in a paper, without beina
caught, he thinks he ought to write :
comic opera
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06
EROA OTHER PENS
NORWAY As A KINGDOM.

The hardy Norsemen have taken no
back tracks in electing a king. The
king. when the Norwegian people shall
authorize him to mount the throne,
will be simply the symbol of Nor
wegian unity and the point about
which the liberty loving sons of the
north will rally for national unison and
progress. In the action of Norway
democracy has received no setback. On
the contrary the principles of deTnoc-
racy are nowhere stronger than they
are in the land of the midnight sun, and
no one knows this better than the
prince" who is about to become Nor
WAYS "kingn'-New York American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06
Unions Two Reerets.

There are two great regrets in my
life-one that I have not lifted the
Americas cup and the other that I
have not been married, secretly or
otherwise"
This is Sir Thomas Lipton's reply to
the statement published in the United
States that years ago he was secretly
welded to a Scotch girl.-London Dis
match
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06
This Girl a TIuInorist.

1t was at the Denver university
Washburn football game Saturday
afternoon. One of the d. u. men was
down with half a dozen Kansas play
ers on top of him. When the whistle
blew a girl in the grand stand turned
to her escort and said:
THAT Denver boy on the bottom of
that heap is too young to play foot
ball.
TOO young-how do you make that
out?" asked the man with her
''Why. don't you see he's under
six" replied the girl.-Denver Post
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06
al scnIntor,s FabIe.

Mr.. Frederick MacMonnies, the
sculptor. says the Worlds Work for
December, wrote some fables early in
his student days in Paris that have
never before been published. One of
them is to this effect:
"Once upon a time there were two
little boys, one of them good and the
other bad. The bad little boy used to
go off to the woods every Sunday to
play with the other children in the
fresh air and sunshine. But the good
little boy was obedient and stayed at
home every Sunday, as he was bid,
and learned a verse from the Bible to
repeat in Sabbath school. He often
envied the bad little boy the good
times he had on Sunday. running and
playing and laughing with the other
children and flying his kite in the
open air in the face of providence. But
he comforted himself with the thought
that that was wrong, and that he was
doing right in learning the verses, and
that one day he would be rewarded.
So he learned a verse every Sunday
until he had memorized 437 of them.
Then, one Sunday, he was called up
before all the other pupils in the Sab
bath school, and the teacher praised
his perseverance, and told the others
how hard he had worked, and then,
when he had finished talking, he gave
the good little boy a card covered with
sparkling bits of glass and fringed
with gilt tassels. and on the card was
printed, Feed my lambs It was the
reward of virtue"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

The news that President Roosevelt is
more fayorably disposed toward Presi-
dent Castro Of Venezuela is coineident
with the effort of the asphalt trust to
get the press of the country to take up
its fight with the South American re-
public. However the trust is not meet
ing with any great degre of success
Hutchinson News
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06
HOPE FOR HARVARD.

Harvard is soon to debate with
Princeton on the question as to whether
football as it is at present played is
detrimental or the opposite. Harvard
takes the side of the opposite and it is
quite possible that the crimson will win
in this sort of contest.-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06
R00sEVEI.T9s ENEMIEs

Roosevelt is making many enemies
that will oppose his reelection, says an
exchange. But we notice it's the fell
lows whom he let's out Of office for a
misuse of their power. An army of
these kind of fellows win be opposed to
his denomination, but their power will
avail naguht.-Salina Union.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06
80 sCHWAR.

Chas. NJ. Schwab, the steel trust mag
nate, is preparing to disseminate a vast
quantity of his coin and call down on
his head the imDrecations of his coun-
trymen. He has built a home and
bought mining property in Nevada and
will put up a Ugh for a seat in the
United States senate. - Hutchinson
News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

There is to be a big cock fight in
Leavenworth tomorrow, and boxing
matches in Topeka and Parsons. Both
cock fights and boxing matches are in
violation of the law, but the prohibit
tory law seems to be the only law that
is violated. according to the agitation
Atehison Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

ington because he simply goes there to
testify to some postal investigation
trials The Journal may be correct
from its point Of view. but what about
the viewpoint Of the defendant in the
case. Bristow's trip may have deep
significance to him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

think you need to wait my boy. You
nave your triumph in being willing to
IS a FAR greater triumph than the
winning Of the senatorship. You may
have Marion whenever you want her.
Hugh turned to the girl. 81 want
strength lies in her.''-(C opvrighf.
1905, by P. c. Eastment.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

Mr.. Thomas W. Lawson has been
having a difficult matter to shock peo-
pie recently, and now that congress Is
an session he will probably have TO
drop out of the limelght altogether
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06
WHERE TAFT DOESN'T SHINE.

Secretary Taft says that ali the pres
ents Alice Roosevelt received when
she left China wouldn't bring $50 at
an auction sale. Secretary Taft may
be a great secretary of war, but he
evidently is not cut out for newspaper
press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

There is one bill that you can bank
on being passed with little opposition
i'm congress: the appropriation Dill Tor
,.,i1eaea and congressional salaries.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

While it is proposed to stop the ran
roads from giving rebates, no one mas
any desire to stop them from receiving
rebates. providing they pay their taxes
soon enough.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

Louis of Battenberg and his squadron
have sailed away it may not be
breach of confidence to say that they
had high old time in New York and
that the festivities were as wet as
Boston Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06
nECEPTTVE.

Judging from the thousands of de-
sertions each year, the army and navy
must not be living up to the coiored
pictures in the recruiting stations
Baltimore Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

Mr.. Hearst has pushed his contest
qor the New York mayoralty too far.
no the surprise Of everyone. Tammany
Included. very few changes have been
made in the recount thus far. Hearst
would be q greater man If the ballot
17oxes had been unopened than he viii
he rs open them and discover that Nc
Clellan was really legally elected.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

Justice Brewer has decided that
cigarettes are a bad thing, but this de-
cision win not be published in the
United States supreme court reports,
although the facts amply warranted
L. -rIaolsfor1
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06
NeCURDY.

It was worth $329,797 to Mr.. Nc
Curdy to have the good opinion of the
American press, but he would have
difficulty in buying it at d hundred
times that amount.-Richmohd Times
Dispatch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

In 1889 Chauncey Depew wrote a
magazine article entitled. "Why 1t
Pays to Be Honest" But 1889 is a
good ways back. That was before
Chauncey became associated with the
TTnifad Sfafes senate.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

Pennsylvania has a revenue of TWEEN
4v-four millions a year. so the poliu-
clans will probably figure that it does
not need that little matter of million
that went down in the Allegheny bank
failure
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

1t is to be hoped that when viii
liam Allen White goes to washington
to do a few stunts for the Saturday
Evening Post with his pen he will
take particular pains to put a few
kinks i'm the dignity Of the United
Statas senate
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

It will at least have to be admitted
that Mr.. Hearst made the game more
interesting, and doubtless helped many
a poor voter to lay in his winters
coaI.-Indianapolis News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06
wTssOTJRTs BELIEF.

Missouri will yet convince itself that
the New York Life regularly puts UP
money before every election to help
defeat Andrew Jackson. - Chicago
News,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

Tom Wagstaf. county attorney Of
Montgomery county, will be one Of
the speakers at the Kansas Day ban
quet If he does as well at it as he
mas at enforcing the law in his county
lie viii make one of the greatest hits
i'm the history of the club.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

It is not exactly clear to our mind
whether the Audubon society regards
sacrif7cial occasion.-Charlest News
and Courier.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

coed evenings Did YOU read the
presidents message?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06
PIT.

A typographical error in an exchange
made Wall street read, Wall street.
There are times when the change could
be made with great aptness.-Wichita
Beacon.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

senator Burton's salary says the
Washington Post, seems to be hold
ing out better than his list of techni-
calides." And such technicalfties as
he has had seem to have been orna-
mental rather than practical.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06
A BUNCH MONUMENT.

! That monument to Quay viii have to
| serve for the entire gang. It died with
( philadelphia Record
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

Speaking of Burton and Mitchell lIe
wichita Beacon calls attention TO the
fact that Burton never got up IN ms
seat in the senate and denied it, any
way
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

Nobody ever has any sympathy for
the man who buys a gold brick. Why
Simply because he thinks he is get
ting something for nothing in making
the purchase. The man who tries to
profit by somebody eise's need or ig-
norance. and who gets swindled in do
ing it. is not deserving of any SYM
rqthv
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

STUDENTS WHO DON'T STUDY.
The football champions viii be ex-
pected to resume their studies as soon
- fnev leave the hospitals.-Phila-
delphia Inquirer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

Some employees OF Insurance COM
panies complain that they got no tur-
keys this year. Maybe the officers got
the turkeys and It's employees and policy
holders got snow birds.-Wichita
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

Have YOU noticed how President
Roosevelt has modified" his views2
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06
Elephant Hunting in New York.

The traveller passing through
Orange and Ulster counties, New
York, on the west side of the Hudson
is favored with a number of views that
are celebrated for their variety and
rustic charm. They make a strong ap-
peal to the artist, but their appeal to
the hunter and naturalist is still
greater, for this is one of the most
famous ranges of the huge hairy ele-
plants, once so widely dispersed ia
temperate North America. Here they
were to be seen in long lines and
numerous herds. vending their way
from the breezy uplands where they
rested in the shade, to the richer bot
tom lands where their favorite food
abounded, and even now as we pass
we may be certain that within a few
miles of the train are scores, maybe
thousands, of these monsters still ly-
ing in the shade. butt is the shade
of their tombs.-From Elephant
Hunting in New York" by Ernest
Thompson Seton, in Four Track News
for Deeen Der
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06
McCuRDY,S Cues.

When Richard A. MeCurdy declared
he would never resign he merely guess
ed the wrong guess frst--Ottawa
Herald
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

The report comes from Vermont
that bob cats are killing the wild
game UP there. And President ROose-
Welt is entertaining congress just now.
so that he cannot get away to give
those bob cats his attention.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

Now that King Haakon has set
tied down to steady work on his new
Job of running Norway. it is to be
hoped that ne and King oscar of
Sweden VIII be real neighborly They
ought to borrow things back and
forth across the international back
fence and be good friends in general.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

TIE Lawrence Journal points out
fhas there is not much significance at
t~ofsd to j. L. Bristow's trip to wash
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

time Republicans went over and sat
among the Democrats to make room
Tor the new Republican members.
There may be general mix-up Of
party lines before this session is over.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

There were no flowers decorating the
desks Of the members when congress
opened Monday, the custom of allow
ing admiring friends TO make the desk
look like so many biers having been
prohibited. The Washington florists
evidently had no adequate lobby at
work during the last session
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

II believe" said Mrs. Oldcastle, that
what a boy is depends largely upon his
environment
4 know it, replied her hostess, as she
carelessly tOyed with her Jewel box.
There was my cousin Ebenezers boy
well day till the doctors found out that
il was his environment and cut it out -
Chicago Record-I1erald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

Mr.. Wagg-Dont you think dear, that
bathing the baby retards his growth?
Mrs. Wagg-Water ridiculous ideal
Mr.. Wagg-Well, I notice that he al
ways shrfnks when he's Standardization
Transcript.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

Mrs. Al de Mustahd-You appear to be
very fond of your poodle, Mrs de
Bunch.
Mrs Justin de Buneh-Yes, indeed. Mrs.
Cutler was unkind enough to say that I
loved it more than I do my child
Mrs Al &c Mustahd-Wen, that's nat
ural The dog has pedigree, hasn't he2
Cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

Jack Spratt could eat no fat:
His wife no lean, they say
So they were wise to compromise
On predigested hay.
Philadelphia Evening Bulletin.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

You say congressman are at a disad-
vantage in dealing with the railways2''
asked the indignant citizen.
Yes answered Senator Sorghum,
they are at a Disadvantage
For what reason27
wen. you see. congress can't issue
passes that will get you anywhere. -
Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

Chureh-Does your friend MaeGurdy
seem to be prosperous?
Csothana-Yes he does. think he ought
to be investigated.-Yo nlkers Statesman.