The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-08


Magazine for August
Il HUMOR OF THE Day
'eWas it hot ont fhere7"
Hot? The cuckoo stayed in the clock
and cuckooed- Puck
young Kallow's time seems to be fully
occupied Just now.
.'How's that2 He just left college, ana
he certainly hasn't gone to work yet.
NO but he's raising mustaches -
Philadelphia Ledger.
bogT" 80.
Don't take on SO. my pet. Hen get bet
ter soon"
saw nuffin-boo hoo!"-sporting Times.
eye don't seem as popular as ye was wild /
the Richmans cook said the first police
NO, an the more fool t.. replied the
other one 1s II got new SUIT c,.azen n
an I foolishly let her see me In it'-Phii-
adeIDhia Press.
''I was away from Friday night until ?
Monday morning and It cost me $50"
Visiting friends ?''-Life
'.An argument" said Uncle Eben. lis
very often only jes' 'seuse dat two men
.sHe says his ancestors left him an I'M
stained and honored name"
ssDeuced clever of 'eTn-he'd never have
had one otherwise. cleveland Leader.
she reminds me of the Mormon elders.
"Indeed@ In what way?'
s-She believes in plural Engagements. -
Puclz.
WED be glad to have you among us.''
said Mrs. starvem: ALI our boarders are
yes replied the inquirer, '.the few
I've seen look positively spirituelle, almost
Press.
"rhey say said Mrs. OIdcastle. that
sion
under bell made out of some kind ce
flowers. Chicago Record-HeraId
my money is not tainted" said the
..Indeed?' asked the investigating COM
Indeed, it is not came by It honestly
in the first place"
the first place. responds the chairman,
but did you not go back and get it dis
honestly after learning where 1T was. -
Judge.
He with the whiskers-say. Teller. why
don't yet wear two glasses instead of only
one?
He with the MonicIe-why, deuce take
it. v know, Teller has to see, doesn't he?
Cleveland Leader.
Mrs subbubs-The cook wants another
afternoon off every week
Mr.. Subbubs (anxiously)-Did you show
would be impossible for us to make eight
afternoons in one week.-Puck.
dat a man don feel as much like SWELL
in up an gettin proud over a good days
work as he does over wiutira' a bet de
races. ashingten Star.
''If they are tired of hearing me called
the Just, he compliance: iwhy ~, d ft5,
However, as they overlooked that channel
of opinion, he had to go into exile.-Har-
perS Bazaar.
I'm what way could you be of any uss
to an employment bureau?' said the pro-
Simplest thing in the world" replied
the shiftiess-lookfng applicant. You are
and I'm = always out Of a job. Detroit
Free Press.
"1Gy wife has been talking a great deal
about plans for the summer, so decided
to have a plain. straightforward talk with
and the result is we go to Newport"
,"Spunky of you, old man; but where did
why. Newport; haven't just told
Iyou?'-Philadelphia Press.
at was surprised at that match between
Smallbones and Miss WaIloph. Look at
the disparity in their ages
Yes. but he overlooked that on account
Chicago Tribune.
81 sometimes think" said Reacon Iron
side, 1--WE shall have to summon Brother
Eardesty before the church board"
desty?'' asked Elder Keepalong.
s'He is finding fault with the plan of Gre
and ssrsd'f doefish and too few black bass -chi-
cago Tribune.
Church--Which side of the Equitable
squabble are you on?
Gotham-On the outside, thank goodness.
-Yonkers Statesman.
Madam-Be sure to put plenty of nuts in
the cake.
jaw hurts me already.-Harpers Bazaar.
Dyer-What would you do If you woke
up some morning and found yourself ia
Ryer-stay in bed until the reporters ar
rived.-Brookiyn Life.
How do society papers derive their rev.
az te ms aainswered the pprofessor
derive It from people who 5,,, wan MT, to get
into print ana sone e fron peeSp Psr VINO want
ssI'n always carried away by that song,''
he said. as she arose from the piano.
$50 you told me once before she re-
Joined. saThats why L sang it."-Chicago
Daily News.
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
rFron the Philadelphia Record.J
Second thoughts are often best, If they
come in time.
Some clothes are so loud that they
shouldn't be allowed.