davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
conspieuously Reprehensible.

= Boston Muther-Did YOU have a
nlcc time visiting your Western cou.
sin?
Little Emorson-Oh reasonably so.
Boston Mother--And what did he do
90 amuse YOU?
Little Emerson--The entertainment
consisted principally In attaching dis.
carded tin reccptacles to the caudal
aprondages of pcriratetic canines.--
Pittsburg Post.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
Just Eseaped the Reputation.

The bronzed old soldier shook his
head sadly.
Yes he replied after a pause, Il
sought the bubble reputation even at
the lannon's mouth. But while was
monkcyirg there the gun blew up and
men at the other end cot all the reru.
tation. With these brccoh leaders
YOU cant tell where the bubble is
Puck.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
How TO Cure Teothaehe.

Tie Welsh peasautry cure toothache
~ scarlfying the gums with an IRON
'ail, which is then driven up to The
Aead in an elm tree, and there left
they also profess to believe that a
threw mouse, touched by a sick per.
son, and then pcggod up alive in a
role previously bored in an alder tree,
~ill carry of the disease from the pa.
lent.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
Social Amenities at the Zoo.
The ostrich yawned.

Tue OSlIlCn AhWncu.
Does my conversation tire you?"
asked the kangaroo, highly offended,
Not at all the ostrich hastened
10 say. "On the contrary am greatly
interested. That yawn started five
minutes ago, while was talking with
that tircsome baboon, ard didn't get
all the way up I'LL just now."-Chica.
go Tribune
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24

How seldom nowadays do men and
women walk arm in arm, And yet,
,ays DR.. DabLS In the London Argus.
he old custom survives in the button.
Ing Of a mans clothes from left to
hight 50 that his sword arm should
be- free, and of a woman's the reverse
way 50 that her pocket arm should
uc at liberty.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
Force vi Dynamite.

dynamite eXplode- 81 rapidly 'ha
It's force is cNcr'ca in the d,rccrlu.
from which the greatest rrr-,ul,
comes. That is, II the dynamite u.
placed On the ground, the rNplu,l,,
force is down; il il be hung again-'
wall its force attack, the wall. 30 .. u,
hung under an object It's force uH
ward.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
Old Chippendale.

Chippendale told how he cane 10 IN.
vent the styles in furniture.
Mrs, c. wanted something 10 i'm.
press the new neghbors when we
moved in he explained.
And with glad smiles they watched
the sideboard smash through the On.
trance.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24

II IS estimated that the total are,
Tor farming purposes in the lufr
States is Sil,OOoooo acre. an tt,
larger than England. Scotland. ireland
W"les, France, Germany, Austria
Spain, Japan and The Transyag' Th"r,
are li,439,n0o persons engaged ju ag',
cultural pursuits, while all other 10
Gu tiles employ but lS.Sii,0uo.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24

AZ present New Zealand is distinctly
'n agricultural and dairyiug colony.
but recent investigations by engineers
rs to tine possibilities Of deriving cleo.
ric power from rivers and waterfalls
indicate that 1t may become a great
manufacturing center.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24

They say that men of genius wrote
most illegibly."
Yes" answered the old.time print.
err That is where they were shrewd.
They owe some Of the brightest things
to the ingenuity and originality OF the
compositor.'
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24

IT," uomrouS man IN h. ,,'k hat
thought the conductor should ind him
seat
Il belong to the upper class" said
the naughty passenger. Doe, money
carry any weight here
Yours does sir replied the con.
duc;or You just gave ne a lead
nickel"
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
London Rirths

The average of births in London {,
ll,OoO a month. It is computed thai
single months births of male babe.
would nearly suffice to replace Il,
men lost by England on the Bocr ba,
llehclds.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
Trade Guilds in Canton.

Canton boasts of over seventy trades
guilds, The guilds have fine halls
md spacious courtyards, where their
members meet daily and discuss the
affairs Of their respective trades and
ither matters.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
Natural Milk the Best.

European medical experts have
come to the conclusion that boiled
milk is not good food for infants.
md that sterilized milk also has
less nutritive value than that which
is fresh.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
Wireless Telegram Is Named.

The British postofice, which man
ages the telegraph business Of the
country, has adopted the word radio
as the designation for a wireless tele
gram.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
Swedish Bridal Superstition

The Swedish bride, who is supcg,'
tious, fills her pockets with bread
which she dispenses to everyone ,h,
meets on her way to the church. ey.r
piece she disposes Of avcrting. as 81,
believes, misfortune.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
Ambiguous.

A lecturer fishing for compli.
ment' said to woman in the audi.
ence, whom he met at the close of mis-
lecture In little country town. II
hope that | succeeded In interesting
You, madam.
ON. la, YES was the reply.
There's so little eoln' on in this
deader'n a doornail town that we git.
interested In the least fool thing. -
Woman's Home Companion.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
Advertlses on Ponts Nscehio.

Inc advertising fend has laid his
ruthless hand upon the Ponte vecch!o,
Florence. a structure which had stood
dndefaced for $50 years, A protest is
being made to the city authorities.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24

TIL" amateur can often take adj.
val lagc Of walls upon which to train
Taprs. and Lee can also use grapes
'"r covering uu>ighlly objects. They
'rr exceedingly 'ractab'c and plastic
y nature and accommodate them.
.oly,, l0 apparently difficult s,ua
!oN>.-Thr Garden Magazine.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
Little Tin in America.

The United states Is the largest
consumer Of tin in the world. but de.
lives its supplies from the Straits Set.
dement's, from Banka, and other East.
IN sources. Only few hundred
hounds Of tin are mined in this coun.
'rV.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
Proper Proportion.

Customer-Are these Ave or six
Wedding rings all you have In stock?
Why, you've got whole trayful Of
Engagement rings!"
Jeweler-Yes, sir; and II will take
that whole trayful OF engagement
rlngs to work off those FIVE or six
Wedding rlngs.-Stray Stories.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
Modern Juvenile saplenev

Paw Figgjam-Tommy il you don't
come out from under that bed at once
and take your punishment
Tommy Figgjam-Yes, but. paw,
will be treated right, or will be
courtmartialed for surrenderln too
soon?-Baltimore American.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
WHY the Call Was DELAYED.

An indignant physician said to the
woman who had sent for hiH to treat
her husband;
why did you wait until he was un.
conslous before sending for me?"
AS long as he retained his senses
be refused to allow me to send for
you" she replied.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24

II Is suggested in San Francisco tha
each street car be equipped with :
lifting jack, so that, in case of acct
dent, a victim may be taken from be
meath the car wheels without delay.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
This Cures Hysterla.

To remove the tendency Of hystera
plenty Of active exercise should h,
taken. Rise early, take regular meals
have nourishing food, variety of seen,
and cheerful company.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
What Did He Mean7

Don't be offended. DEAR" said the
wealthy girl; but are you we'll hxed?"
Mo" faltered the poor youth /;
"but don't you think your father
would fix me?"
II guess so, heard him say he was
going to fix you the next time you
came around here"
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
The Limit.

old De SENDER gave his young
wife a blank check before Christmas
and told her to buy anything she
wanted"
And what did she buy!'
Everything she wanted. '-Phila.
delphia Ledger.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
Told BY the Small Mouth.

Great sclf-control and fortitude
dwell with the small mouth Of which
the lips are kept tightly shut. Never.
lhsless, It is liable to occasional ont.
bursts Of ill.temper.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
Arsenic in Daily Food.

The average person takes about
pO00S grains Of arsenic in his daily
food Fish, rock'salt, water, and wine
are comparatively rich In arsenic.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
Sufficient.

Yes. we are proud to say that we
are a British family" boosted the re.
Hired pork packer,
But you we're born In Chicago" pro.
rested the reporter.
"0h. what's the difference! Our
bulldog and our butlor came from
london"
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
DANCER In Elnntrlnltu

A boy narrowly escaped being elec
trocuted in London recently while
dragging an iron hoop along the slot
rail OF the electric tramway line.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
One Way to Cure War...

To cure warts Lancashire people
rub them Nth piece Of bacon stolen
from "a shop. But II Is essential that
I he stolen.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
Size Of British pomlnlons.

It has been figured out that the Brit.
lsh empire is sixteen times larger than
all the French domInions and forty
times greater than the German EN-.
plre,
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24

Several mining companies have
;tarted work In Honduras, Central
America, The principal deposits are
gold and silver
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
Taken from Life

Author-The hero Of my story is
man who doesn't know where to turI
for dollar
Friends II an autobiography?
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
warranted to cure Insomnia.

knox-l sat down In my easy chair
last night and picked up that new
novel Of Scrlbblers. and | didn't get
to bed until this morning.
Cox-The idea! Why. thought II
awfully tresome.
Knox Exactly II was nearly 4
o'clock when ! woke up in my chair
Stay Stories.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
Had the Instinct.

WILLIE think Bobby Wright is the
meanest boy ever saw.
Mamma-What makes you say that,
dear?
Willie-Because when said was
going to be poet when ! grew up he
said he was going to be an editor and
wouldn't print my poems unless d
give him half OF my candy.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1905-02-24
Advice.

Advice.
He Some day mean to speak to
You seriously.
She-Well, don't hurry. Be happy as
long as YOU can.
New-York tribune., 1905-07-08
THE PRESIDENTS TRIP.
He and HIS Party Reach Home
EarLy IN the EUening.

Oyster Bay. N Y July President Roose-
welt and party returned to Oyster Bay at Z
o'clock this evening from the trip to Ocean
Grove, n. ]. The President was accompanied
from Long Island City by Mrs. Roosevelt. Miss
Ethel Roosevelt and Mrs Richardson, Of New
York who will be house guest of Mrs. Roose-
velt- The tug Lancaster carried the party from
Jersey City to Long Island City.
To the President the trip was most en1oyaole
one. He was Joined at Jersey City, on the way
to Ocean Grove. by Senators Kean and Dryden
Of New-Jersey. On the return trip the latter
left the train az Elizabeth the former returning
to Jersey City. On the return trip the Presl-
dent delivered a brief speech at Perth Amboy
to a crowd of several hundred persons. On his
arrival here the President was met at the sta
ton by Baron KanekO, the financial agent IN
this country of Japan They shook hands cor
daily chatted few ni:nutes, and then the
President drove TO Sycamore Hill with Mrs
Roosevelt. Baron Kaneko followed in another
carriage and is an overnight guest OF the
New-York tribune., 1905-07-08

who have turned out for the exercises. have
TO he going along. All can say is goodby and
good luck.
Escorted by the soldiery. the President and
his party then hurried to the Asbury Park
railroad station and boarded the special, which
pulled out al 3:45 2. m. exactly on schedule.
The waiting throng clamored for another speech.
but the President fingered only long enough to
say goodby TO the cavalry escort and wave adieu-
from the rear platform Of his car.
When the e1 Regiment arriving this noon
one of the staff officers badly hurt Captain
Edward Dubois. inspector of rife practice
Colonel Mather's staff. thrown from his
horse by the breaking of the saddle girth. He
landed on his head, receiving a severe scalp
wound and was unconscious for time He
was attended by Major McCrsy. the regimental
surgeon, and went home with the STAFF this
evening.
BOYS CARNIVAL ENDS DAY.
AS the climax TO the day, after the presi
dent. Nathan c. Schaeffer, OF Pennsylvania, had
been presented 10 the teachers. the boat boys OF
Wesley Lake held their annual carnival at night
The spectacle was enjoyed by $4,000 persons,
who lined both sides Of the lake Strings OF
electric lights skirted the stream Between the
+vvo bridges in midstrean. miniature war
vessel outlined with electric bulbs At another
noin+ was an electrical fountain. The nearby
cottages and lawns were brilliantly Illuminated
and decorated Many boats. trimmed with Jap
anese lanterns. paraded before the judges.
lected from the officials Of the association. Will
am II Maxwell. of New York, was chairman OF
the committee Of awards The fireworks dis
rIa1y the urettiest ever Witnessed here was
sorneUyhat n.arred by the dense fog, and will be
repeated tomorrow night
New-York tribune., 1905-07-08
LAWSON ON THAT SURPLUS.
Divides Eo1ors with District Attorney
Jerome in Kansas City.
y rELEGRAPH ID - rRIRUNE.l

Kansas City. July Thomas ". Lawson deIiv-
cred speech tonight in Kansas City before i've
hundred people, who crowded the banquet hall at
the Midland Hotel District Attorney Jerome OF
New-Tork. divided honOrs with the Boston man.
but Lawson received the lions share OF attention
The EUesJs Of honor had seats raised platform.
fifteen feet long. at the west end OF me banquet
room. the hfth floor OF che Midland Hotel
Mr.. Lawson arrived Kansas City at 2i5 D. m
from Chicago, IN his private ear. E1aslemere. Coat
less a silk shirt. lawson sat IN the dining
saloon Of his ca-. surrounded BY a group OF CORE
spOnceUtS tr-eIUs Prosperity ne said
means that tne people have had what was neceS-
sa-y dud have something left There has
never been SUCH prosperity ours. but the people
have nothing left over from their labOrs. The
surplus is going sOmew here They wonderland
they 4 fellow standing beside them VINO holds
Sa00.0000O0.
Mr.. Jerome took conservative view OF the
evil The evil Of trusts. he said. is greatly eN-
aggeratei in the West Trusts have cheapened
the articles they touch. and are part of business
evolution Natural laws in business VIII regulate
them and prevent eXt0rJiOn- You IN the West don't
look like people who have been eaten UP ov the
money devils. Wall Street finances your railroads
ana drills your oil wells. But there Is another
view OF the trust question. Trusts corrupt leg.S-
Iar11res buy courts and Congressman. Here ~
fhe real evil The party machine Is reSpOnsibla
for this. The people are honest. but their viii Is
NOT expressed.
New-York tribune., 1905-07-08
THE COTTON CROP REPORT SCANDAL.
Disclosures To-day, To Be Followed by Reor-
ganization of Statistician's Office.

washington July THE long expected report OF
the Secret Service officers who investigated the
charges of Irregularities in the preparation and
publication of the government cotton crop reports.
rreferred bv Richard CheathaTn, secretary of the
COTTON Growers Association has been placed in the
hands OF Secretary Wilson When seen to-day Sec
retary Wilson refused TO give intimation as TO
the results of the investigation whas acticn he
proposes to take. but said that the whole matter
vzouId he made public tomorrow He declared that
nothing would be withheld The case, ne said had
assumed the nature OF u scandal. and he proposed
to give the public every shred OF information ne
had - d.
In connection with the giving out OF tie report. u
fs understood that announcement will be made OF
complete reorganization of the statsJician Once
New-York tribune., 1905-07-08
FOR ARMY PREDICTIONS.
Soliciting Influence Viii Hereafter
Debdr Advancement.

Oyster Bay, n. z. July 7.-An important or
der issued tonight by President Roosevelt
announcing the policy hereafter to be followed
by the administration in the making of appoint
ments promotions in the military branch OF
the government The President orders that If
any officer Of the army navy hereafter shall
solicit influences, aside from the records OF his
service file in the War or Navy depart
ment. in order to obtain promotion or assign
ment. he shall be debarred thereby from the ad-
vancement or detail which he is seeking The
text Of thu order follows:
The White House July I, 1905.
The Congress Of the United States. by appropriate
legislative enactments. has made the matter OF
subject of formal statutory regulation Executive
regulations in furtherance Of these statutes nave
place upon record in the War Department full and
detailed infornatioa in respect 10 the character;
capacity military services and general attalnInents
OF all officers composing the military establish
relative merits Of officers Of all grades OF rank in
the several branches Of the line and staff and
service to be filed after careful comparison OF
the records of those officers who are eligible under
A similar legislative policy exists IN respect 10
furnish evidence Of the character service and ab-
ity of all officers Of the navy, founded upon the
make them. These reports are sufficiently specific
ticular duty which each officer is fitted 10 perform,
without the intervention of requests claims or in
It is therefore announced that in future appoint
n5ents. details. transfers ana assignments in the
army and navy the Executive will be guided by the
officials records Of the War and Navy departments
respectively to the exclusion Of other sources OF
influence information; but IN case an officer has
performed any special act of bravery or courage
or rendered specially efficient service, OF which
there is no record or only partial record. in the
War Navy Department, the testimony or any
person who eyewitness OF the same may
be submitted for consideration
Should it be discovered that since the publica-
ton Of this order, an officer of the army or navy
has sought recommendation or support from
sources outside OF those named above. this fact will
debar him from obtaining the particular advance
ment, assignment or detail which he had by such
means attempted TO secure. and the fact that
he has sought such influence will be noted his
official record. THEODORE ROOSEN ELL
New-York tribune., 1905-07-08
Mr.. ROOTS ACCEPTANCE.
President Much Gratifed By HIS
Decision.

Oyster Bay, July 7.-OficiaI announcement
was made here to-day that Elihu Root has been
appointed Secretary Of State.
The announcement was made on the authority
Of President Roosevelt in this statement given
out by Secretary Loeb:
Elihu Root has accepted the tender by the
President Of the Secretaryship of State. He
will take the oath of Office in couple Of weeks.
but IL will necessarily be some little time before
he closes up mis- business affairs. He will not go
TO Washington permanently until some time in
September.
President Roosevelt IS much gratided by Mr..
Roots acceptance, and is deeply sensible Of the
personal sacrifices made by Mr.. Root in again
taking up the burdens and duties of a member
of the Cabinet
The decision of Mr.. Root was reached finally
on the Presidents special train in course Of the
return Of the Presidential party from Cleveland.
For personal reasons entertained both by the
sirable not TO announce the decision publicly
until the President had returned to Sycamore
Hill It determined, therefore, that the
official statement of the Presidents tender and
Mr.. Roots decision 10 accept IT would be made
to-day.
1t is the intention OF Mr.. Root to assume the
duties Of Secretary OF State practically at once.
although IL will perhaps be two weeks before
he will formally take the oath of Office. His pro-
fessOnal interests are so large that he will have
10 devote considerable time to satisfactory ar
ton TO take permanent charge Of the State De-
partment.
When he takes active charge of the depart
ment he will give up his law practie-
New-York tribune., 1905-07-08
MINERS MUST PAY OPERATORS.
Judge Gray Decides That They Shall Bear
Expense of Shot Firers.

Springfield Ill. July Judge George Gray. OF
Delaware. who was chosen the fifth arbitrator
by the arbitrators selected by the operators and
miners of the State of Illinois 10 decide whether
the operators or miners should bear the expense
OF the shot drers rendered necessary by the law
which passed the last Legislature has decided that
the miners shall reimburse the operators one-half
for the expenses incurred.
This decision read TO the joint executive
boards of the Illinois Coal Operators Association
and the United Mine Workers of Illinois a
ing tonight, after they had fixed the wages be
paid the shot hrers and the conditions under which
they shall work.
The mines in the State, which have been idle since
July l pending the settlement Of this dispute, will
resume operations shot frers be
secured. The wages of the shot frers were fixed
at 81 a day.
New-York tribune., 1905-07-08
MIR. TAFT ON CHINESE EXCLUSION.
Would Keep Out Coolies and Let in Mer-
chants and Students

San Francisco, July Secretary Taft spoke
here to-day TO a large crowd Of people on a
stand improvised under the branches Of gi-
gantic oak He dweIt the Chinese exclusion
matter, and at considerable length explained his
views on that question.
Keep out the coolies; let in the merchants
and students" said Secretary Taft, in effect,
declaring that by doing this country would
not hurt itself and also would refrain from Of
Tending the Empire of China.
He spoke of the necessity of education in the
Philippines, and the part that the institutions
of learning on the Pacific Coast must play in
helping properly TO educate the Filipino people.
Congressmen Payne of New-York and Gros-
venor of Ohio also spoke briefly.
Secretary Taft and party made an inspection
New-York tribune., 1905-07-08
FIRE THREATENS AIRsHlP.

The peace are investigating an alleged attempt
N bIov ND the airship California Arrow. at Bright
on Beach which resulted in a fire. which devas-
tared ten acres OF meadow grass in the aerodrome
field yesterday afternoon.
Leo Stevens. the operator. and his assistants
were leading the California Arrow from the shed.
preuaratory 20 making a trial flight. when a large
havsrack burst into flames The men hastily re-
turned the big balloon TO shed. while shower
of sparks threatened ignite the eleven thousand
cubic. feet OF gas scored in the airShlp- Charles
Thompson superintendent OF the construction
force was badly burned. The burning area was
hooded BY the Sheepshead Bay nre engines which
arrived IN tina 70 save Lhs aerodroUls-
New-York tribune., 1905-07-08
PRAISE FOR HAY AND ROOT
Continued from first page.

TO be relieved Of the responsibility attendant
upon the direction of the canal affairs
The appointment of Judge MagoOn to be Min
lister OF the United States to Panama, in con-
nection with his Office as Governor OF the Ameri-
can Zone on the isthmus. naturally suggests the
desirability OF placing both offices under the
direction Of the Secretary OF State. and. follow
ing this movement to its logical conclusion. the
Secretary of State would be the natural director
Of the affairs Of the canal Mr. Root is deeply
interested in the canal work. and already has
devoted considerable thought 10 it.
While no definite decision regarding the
transfer has yet been reached by the President,
II is regarded probable that the direction
of all matters pertaining TO the canal will be
placed in the hands of Secretary Root