Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-10-19
THE STORY TELLER.
COULD HAVE Get IT IN BOSTO

''' 'tF'' ~ WV 'H' "
girl pupil who was exceedingly backward
in her studies. The class graduated but
tho girl could not pass her examinations
and was left behind. Then the mother
came to interview the teacher.
"Why was it Mary didn't graduate? :"
she asked.
The teacher was too kind. hearted to
wish to hurt the mothers feelings. SO
she tried to state the facts as gently as
she could.
"well. Mrs." she said. MARY didn't
nave the capacity"
Capacity. capacity said the mother:
"why on earth didn't you let me know
she needed it. Her pa went to Boston
last week and nc could have got 1t for
her just ms we'll as not!'
LEARNING.
The new cook was helping her mistress
to prepare dinner. Ali went we'll until
the macaroni for tho pudding was
brought out. Tho cook looked with sur
Prise as she befeld the long white sticks.
But when they were carefully placed in
water sh" gave n choking gasp:
ibid you say, missus. She said, in
an awcd voice. that you are goin' to
make puddin' out of that?'
Eyes, Jane" was the reply, that is
what I intend to do. But you seem sur
piised. Have you never seen macaroni
cooked bcforc?"
mo. ma'am.' answered the cook. II
amt. Tho last place 1 was Mt we always
SONS FOR QUITTING.
a PLAINTIFF in one Of the Alabama
courts recently moved tho dismissal of
his actions or unusual grounds, viz. -
First-That defendants in each of the
causes are Incorporated companies.
~Second-That the plaintiff. being an
humble citizen of the State OF Alabama,
is unable to further prose cute these Just
suits.
Third-PlaintiT desires to withdraw
from further prosecution of the said
suits, that sin may cease.
Fourth-That all persons interested
may read the 18th chapter of Luke.
ONE OF SIM FORD'S.
"A friend in the west" saws Simeon
Ford 'once related to me the trials and
tribulations of the people employed in
the office of his hosiery to keen IN
The first evening he spent with them
lie did the proprietor out Of an neat
sum at poker; the next night he return
ed to quarters considerably intoxicated
inter having whipped his cabby: the
third night he gave an impron,ptu con-
cert in the halls.
This was too much for the hotel pco-
pic; they asked for his key and render.
cd his Hill. Evidently the amount there
of was Mt to his liking, for h. onclai,n-
ed, path"t ~illy:--
" Say, don't you fellows make anv dis.
count to the clergy?'
TINE TO GO.
Some time ago there lived a gentleman
" indolent habits who spent his time visit.
ing among his friends. After wearing ont
his welcome in his own ncighborhood. he
thought he would visit an old Quaker
TREND some twenty miles distant. On his
arrival he was cordially received by the
Quaker. who, thinking the visitor had
taken much pains to come so far to SEQ
MN, treated him with a great deal of at.
tcntion and politcness for several DAYS.
AS tho visitor showed no signs of leay-
ing. the Quaker became uneasy, but bore
ii with patience until the eighth day.
when he said to him.:
My friend. / am afraid thee will never
ONE again"
oh, yes. I shall" said the visitor. II
have enjoyed my visit very much, and
shall certainly come again."
But said the Quaker, "if thee will
never leave how can thee come again."
CONSOLING.
Some time ago an elderly gentleman
MAS motoring down a narrow street in a
country town, when a dog suddenly
out from a doorway, and so
the ancient individual that
ne jumped suddenly and landed on the
ground in a sitting position. The dog,
to enjoy the situation. circled
'ound and round, barking playfully.
a boy who was passing at the time
calmly staring at tho performance
or a minute or two, and then inquired
II Il quiet voice:
Did you fall off mistcr?"
'Of course l did" said tho gentleman, |
lngrily. while getting vi and endeavor-
to brush the dust from his clothes.
An replied the lad as he strolled
way. II thought you couldn't have sat
In the road just to play with the
NERVE NEEDED NO MEDICINE.
a country doctor told me the following
story the other day. Having written "A
PRESCRIPTION for n patient no told the lat |
.er that the druggist would make the
up for him for IS. TIL patient |
cry cody asked the doctor to lend him
he money.
After IA moments thought the doctor
iaid, do you mind letting me have that
prescription back for a moment, please?"
Not at all replied the other. handing
t back. AS he saw the doctor erasing |
me of the items. he asked the reason.
said the doctor. Il think you will
got this for Cd; what I scratched out
vas for your nerves."
A DANGEROUS SYMPTOM.
When Il member of Aunt Eunice
~NashinSton's family died-the family
he had served with faithfulncss so many
old woman's grief was as
'oignant as If She had understood the
which led TO it.
Its de same trouble took Miss Lilly
If dat took her sister, Mariana, eight
ears ago." she said to a friend, wiping
Ter eyes on her gay plaid apron. "When
heard Doctor Sam speak bout de vital
pot I knew Miss Lily wouldn't stay
Iyar much longer. When dat vital spot
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