The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1905-12-30

S' allanan-Moikei Moike!! Wek
up; ufs tonne t take y'r insomnia
midicine.-Puck.
Yes, she's married to a real estate
agent ana good, honest fellow, too"
MY gracious! Bigamy 2-Philadelphia
Press. - A-A''
1asgles-I see horse SHE'D at
statue In Central Park. Waggles-He
must have been one of those educated
horses.-Puck.
First Loafer-Did you help at the
nre last night7 Second Loafer-Yes a
nH' got out of the way of the fire
engine.-Puck.
Passenger-Have time to say good
py to my wife7 Conductor-Depends
on how long you've been married.
Fliegende Blaetter.
Poet-This, sir, Is the only poem I
ever wrote. Editor-Well, cheer I'D.
Nobody's going to take it away from
you.-Cleveland Leader.
What was your name before you
were married?" asked the Chicago
census taker. (Which timer" uueried
the lady.-Detroit Free Press.
What are the principal places of
interest about New York;" you'll
have to ask some stranger. I've lived
here all my life, you know."-Judge.
Blfson-My wife always insists on
having the last, word! Bangs-Well,
you're luckyl Mine always insists on
having the last dollar-Detroit Free
Press.
Teacher Ito smallest boy in class)--
What well-known animal supplies you
with food and clothing. Smallest Boy
(after some thought)-My father
Judge.
Papa, what's a man who runs an
auto called?" 1T depends on whether
he is being called by his employer or
by the man he has just missed
Houston Post.
II promised to make call tonight"
said the man, preparing to go out.
VERY WELL" replied the wife; but
don't call unless you nave the cards. "
Houston Post.
The Writer--I see you've got my
latest book there. What do you think
of it? The Reader-Oh, I've only had
time to read the last few pages Of it
aR vet-Tid-Rits
"Who is supporting Starlight this
season. His wife" His Wife
Why, I never knew she was on the
stage" "She isn't; but she takes in
Washing Baltimore American.
Singleton-Have you decided what
you are going to call the baby, old
man? Notwithstanding. I'm go
ing to call him whatever my wife
names him.-Chicago Daily News.
Little Wlllie-Papa, why does the
railway company have those cases
with the ak and saw in every car
Father presume they are put in tc
use In case any one wants to open 6
window.-Puck.
Hardupp-Have you a fve-dollar bill
you don't know what to do with
smyke-Yes, here Is one. Hardupp-
, Thanks-but, l say, this Is a counter
! feitI Smyke-Well, you asked ME fo
one / didn't know what to do with
Tales.
"You haven't married me just II
, spite somebody else, have you" sh'
} asked. looking anxiously up into hi
honest blue eyes. mo, DEAR" he alb
systematically replied; 81 took you 70
> your money alone."-Chicago Record
Herald.
Ma" exclaimed Bobby, do yo
5 like any one to bite your" mo, dear
why?" "Well, Mr.. Buttin just bit sis
b ter on the mouth, and she put he
arms around his neck and tried t
choke him. l guess she doesn't Xix
It. either."-Puck.
"How did you like my talk las
night?" asked the beginner In the lee
: ture field. WELL" replied the candi
critic, 'you didn't take advantage o
YOUR many opportunities" Il didn't
mo, you had a number of opportun
ties to quit before you did."-Philade
phia Press.
"say," queried the sporty-lookln
man as he entered the intelligence
office. lean you procure a clerk 10
me- with a voice exactly like mine
"Don't know" replied the manager
whats the object?" Il want him 7
stay at the office every night and al
swer the telephone when my VIII
rings up" explained the party OF Ii
sporty part.-Chicago News.
"As was coming in just now" sal
Mrs Oldcastle, your footman used a
opprobrious epithet." my goodness
REPLIED her hostess, Il must speak
James about that. I simply won't p'
nm with 1t. Josiah says unless there
Iess of them used around here he
have to be gettin' them by the Who'll
sole never seen the way serVan
do waste things when they amt II
onas that have to pay for them"
C,,,..,o Racord-Herald.