davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29
EVERYDAY PHILOSOPHY.

The only thing nobody envies any
body else is goodness.
Some people are so jealous they
can even envy another for being di-
vorced.
When you have whole lot Of
money you can ride In street car and
be respected for it.
A woman seems to be afraid of
pretty nearly everything in the world
except the man she is married to.
A man who can be serene when the
water pipes in the bathroom freeze
and burst Is an ideal Christian
It's terribly tantalizing the way a
girl holds her lips in a kissing posi-
ton when a lot of people are in the
room.
One of the mysteries of life is how
a woman could bait six-foot man
and then go upstairs and faint because
she thinks there is mouse in the
closet
A man is pretty lucky if he can get
a tie and pair of gloves, which he
would have anyway out OF all the
money his family spends for Christ
mas.
When a girl is afraid to show her
ankles it isn't so much proof of the
way she was brought up as of the way
she was built.-New York Globe.
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29
TO AID AMERICAN SHIPPING.

n USNESS OF Cleveland recently the
OF that and effected organization whose purpose
expressed the words of their resolution: The
whole prosperity depends upon the continuation extension
foreign The critical and calls
for immediate action"
This recognition by interests far from shows
that attention the subject being given by who though
busy building the prosperity of the middle West by direct
velopment the ground energies
from the filing Of their inland
foreign trade and that the ectua do this
upon such aid to American ships will encourage their building
and competition for share of the carrying trade
Our foreign the great
but being carried under foreign flags there
ship being built anywhere the United
this trade Our going feet smaller than 1870
steadily decreasing spite of the
$oooooooo worth of merchandise during the twelve
ing with last September In the of the world
sixth place Other nations succeeding where fail England
Italy France and Germany giving government aid
vantages which forestall competition.
1t is claimed that ships be built prices
that approximate closely what they abroad
withsandng the fact that the country are paid
much better which entit serespecne
of the maintenance that we need to
have the foreigners advantages offset by subsidies as would
enable the payment of up the good
example of the need Of accounting for this given
the comparison Of the paid the American
with those of the Kaiser Wilhelm der Crosse
Of SIS month"; the American 5 The
American pays $35S5 per 8o men
than does the German TO its 500
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29
a VARLA TON
BY ROBERT j. COLE.
"a A EN- are such monotonous
N creatures. They march to-
Nv tgether. like that, always"
Y uThe GIRL waved her hand

! N EN- are SUCH
"Al creatures. They march to, !;
~ tgether. like that, always
THE girl waved her hand
lightly toward a file of mill
tia that paraded down Fifth avenue
| Her companion did not answer i'm
mediately
You must reduce your complaint
TO charges. Miss Breen," said
the young lawyer at length. what,
for example, renders man so tiresome
to you
I'm sure don't know what makes
him so. / only know that he is re-
turned the girl. 'He-I mean, they
all wear forever the same kind of
clothes. walk with the some stride,
stick to the same amusements-'
Are true to the same friends" fin-
ished her listener for her, ''and, worst
of all, persist in expressing admiration
for the same girl in the same words. .
Don't be personal, Mr.. Roscom-
mon," protested his companion, with
blush.
Il am discussing fact, and that is
always personal" replied the man. 1t
is true, isn't it?" Roscommon had a
QulSl IdDll OI Tie ulu
not talk much, but what he did say
was apt to start his companion into a
frantic garrulity of self-defense.
What do you mean?'' asked the
girl. You certainly would not ac-
cuse me of Dragging about the number
of my admirers. | was only speak
ing in general way"
Roscommon was silent and the girl
went on:
rafIIca ~ tocfifu arainSt roVGolf
but you must give me credit for know
ing a few other women. Besides. l
have read the novels written by crea-
lures of your own sex. They ought to
say a good word for the ingenuity of
man, yet their heroes all make love
in precisely the same way"
They turned as they walked into
Fifty-seventh street, where Miss
Breen had lived with her aunt since
her fathers death. She had always
gone with rather gay set, but few
months after she came out her father
had lost most of his money. For the
three years that he lived he insisted
on her accepting many invitations, al
though they were able to do little en-
tertaining. Her liveliness of speech
and manner. a trifie defiant. masked
a hurt pride. She won followers cas-
lily among the men-too easily to suit
her high spirit. They gave her fiat
terry in plenty, which comforted her as
little as gold offered to a starving
woman. She was all heart and had
almost no vanity. When her father
died she was hungry for some one to
lavish her affections upon. Yet no
one had OWNED this. The impression
had gone about that she would mar
ry anybody for money. She hated
poverty. but she hated a lie still worse.
When they entered the house she
took off her hat and stood a moment
beside a table.
You NAV sit down." she said con-
descendingly to Roscommon. Il shall
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29
WOMAN HAS BETTER TIME

"Who has the best time-a man or a
woman?" Here is a question put for
ward by the Grand Magazine / have
not as yet had an opportunity of read
ing the discussion, but that shall not
prevent me from joining in 1t, says
writer in London Sketch. | will give
you six reasons therefore why Wo-
man-an average woman-always has
had and always will have better time
than a man:
1. Because she is more easily
pleased.
2. Because she expects less than a
man, but sgenerally manages to get
more.
8. Because she can always make
man do what she wants.
4. Because she never does anything
she doesn't want to do.
5. Because she is less sensitive.
6. Because she can cry without feel
ing pain.
l hasten to add that all these re-
marks are based upon the idle gossip
of the profoundly ignorant
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29
THE TRUTH ABOUT
LUTHER BURBANK.

In California there doth dwell
A man named Burbank-truth to tell
A name like F'lowerbank more would fit
So horticultural a wit
At any time that man IL able
To grow some strange new vegetable;
For instance he'll mix heliotrope
With soap weed-and grow toilet soap!
A fadeless flower he has devised;
A scentless onion, highly priced.
And just to keep the nation calm.
A non-explosive Russian bomb.
From eggplants in gooseberry rows
A goose egg plant he neatly grows;
From planting hops with wheat ne
makes
Some crisp, self-rising griddle cakes.
Last fall the great inventor saw
A meadow full of golden straw;
So here he planted violets,
Pale ribbon-grass and mignonettes.
The neighbors who beheld said, Poor
L. Burbank has gone daffy, sure"
But early in the spring the field
Strange looking plants began to yieio.
The plants grew up in wondrous wise
The neighbors gasped and rubbed their
eyes
When they behell on every limb
An Easter hat of Paris trim.
And that is why 1 say. say l,
L. Burbank's name should never die,
And that his genius for invention
Should be rewarded with pension.
WALLACE IRWIN in New York Globe
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29
BOON Tu FAT FOLK.

Miss Elizabeth Falconer has just
perfected~an invention which promises
to revolutionize the lacing of shoes
by fat people. says the Louisville Her.
aid.
The invention enables men or wom-
en- to lace their shoes without stoop-
ing, and although 1t was not invented
primarily for fat men-there are no
fat women-it will be utilized as much
by them as by the aged and infirm,
for whose comfort it was brought into
the world. The invention is simple.
One lace string Is permanent in posi-
ton, and pulling the top of It laces
the shoe. Pulling the bottom string
loosens the shoe.
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29

haps the very mystery of her nature
attracts him."
Then let him surprise her into some
revelation of herself"
They were silent for long time after
this The short winter day was al
most gone. They could yet see each
other through the twilight.
Miss Breen. did you ever hear that
/ was a millionaire? The question
came from Roscommon with startling
suddenness. His tone was harsh and
had a ring of self-satisfaction in it.
Madge Breen turned impulsively and
then looked away; but not before he
was aware of the hurt, disappointed
expression in her wide-open eyes.
No; and 1 hate you for telling me
now she flashed.
Il did not tell you. / only asked a
question: The harshness was all
gone from his tone: For the first time
that afternoon Roscommon's voice
grew tender. He leaned toward his
companion and said:
They told me you cared only for
money-that you had no heart. l
knew they lied, but / wanted you to
prove it to me. You have shown me
the girl I have been waiting to see.
You have taught me the way to WOO
her. / am not rich, Madge, and II l
were L SnOulQ never QF6din tudl
money could buy you. You say that
ali men are alike. All but one, you
mean. The man you love Will be
transfigured. l ask you to be my wife,
dear not because of what l can give
you. but because of what l can take.
man with any other ambition would
not have room to keep the treasure
of your love. You can do what you
will with me. The only thing | shall
boast of is a boundless capacity for
being loved. Do you want such a
man?'
And you haven't once said I love
you,' she exclaimed, with touch of
amusement in her voice. THAT is a
slight variation from the usual form.
Do you suspect / shall do it all?"
You would have to try me to find
out, no matter what I might say" re-
piled Roscommon.
WELL" she breathed softly and
then paused. He rose and walked to
her chair md waited. with his head
bent toward hers.
/ Please, she whispered. "if you
don't love me never let me find it
out"
(Copyright, 1905. by r. j. Cole.)
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29
CUPID AND RECRUITS.

Cupid is one of the best recruiting
officers that Uncle Sam has" conhded
one of the sergeants attached to the re-
cruiting headquarters. Back of nearly
every enlistment there is a woman in
the case. Lovers quarrels chase lot
of fine lads into the service. Your ro-
mantle youth gravitates to the recruit
ing Office after serious break with his
sweetheart as naturally as a duck
takes to water. 1t seems to him the
most fitting way In which to sacrifice
himself when loves young dream is
apparently dispelled. Way down In his
heart he nursed the idea of making his
earstwhile inamorata sad, and it's the
army or navy, with the possibility Of
death in battle, for him. Again, other
first-class material is recruited by the
desire Of young fellows to sport a uni
form before their girls. In such cases
Cupid does his recruiting through
vanity. But In both ways he manages
to fill up big gaps in the ranks Of
Uncle Sans fighters. s."-Philadelphia
Record.
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29
DON'T FORGET THAI

There is plenty Of opportunity for
superior talents. The top Of the ladder
of success offers plenty of standing
room and invites guests. The lower
part only is fearfully crowded. There
is no excuse for the universal wall OF
lack of opportunity, for there is no
lack, says the Chicago Journal. The
trouble lies with the demands laid upon
those who aspire to first place. One
thing is certain-there is no quarter
for the wilmer and precious little en-
couragement for those who do not care
to work with might and main.
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29
d THE SMART SET
BY SILLY SHAKP

toying a tour of Lake County since
leaving this city and to-day takes her
departure from Sacramento for the
East.
Lieutenant Clarence Kempff sails on
the Ohio to-day for the Philippines.
Mrs. Kempff will join him in Manila.
Mrs. Christian Refs has been enter
tanning Miss Viva Nicholson Of Oak
land for several days
Mrs. A. w. Scott will be at home"
on Friday, this being her last recep-
ton day for the season,
Miss Camille Rosenblatt and Alfred
S. Gump were married last evening in
the Concordia Club. which had been
beautifully decorated for the occasion
Attending the bride as matron of
honor of her sister. Mrs Lillian Ro-
senbIatt Wolff. The groom was served
by his brother, Abraham Gump. Two
little maids, Miss Alice Wolff and Miss
RosaIine Rosenblatt, with Master Al
bert Rosenblatt. were flower bearers.
Irving and Maurice Rosenblatt acting
as ribbon bearers. The bride was
gowned In handsome imported white
satin and point lace. the matron of
honor wearing pink satin. with point
lace. After the ceremony. performed
by Rabbi voorsanger, a dinner was
served. after which the evening was
spent in dancing. Nearly 200 guests
were hidden to the affair.
Miss Pearl and Miss Irene sabin ar
rived home last evening after a very
delightful visit TO Fort Smelling.
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29
THE LOVERS QUARREL.

SILLY boy!" she said, why did you
get offended? Though my words
were severe you might have seen that
I was smiling
Well" he replied magnanimously,
your mouth is 30 small I didn't notics
1t. -" Philadelphia Press.
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29

Tomorrow will be gala day Tor
tbe Infant Shelter, for society Will
take a mighty and helping hano ana
the organization is bidding fair al
ready to profit very materially. Tne
unioue sight of many society people
aiding in serving breakfast luncn ana
dinner will be an attraction addltion-
al to the interest centered in the cnar-
ity itself. The purpose of the sneiter
Is to help poor people-men ana
women with families-who are
Obliged to be out all day. The young
children needing care and attentloh
are taken by the shelter for nomlnai
price until the parents are again IN
position to assume proper responsloil-
ity. Charity has never set for 1tseil
a worthier task and all society. special
and at large, should be hearty coop
orators tomorrow. Among the fair
dispensers of viands will be Miss Su-
sic McNab. Miss Ida Carmany. Miss
Alicia B. Mills, Miss Conley and Miss
Samuels.
Breakfast and luncheon will be
served la carte, with table d'note
dinner. Among the diners will be
Mrs. Herbert E. Law, Mrs. Charles r.
Wilson. Mrs. Flood. Mrs. Mckinley
and several others who have engaged
tables.
Mr.. and Mrs. Solomon Gump leave
tomorrow for New York and Wheel
ing, Va, where they will visit their
daughters.
With the arrival of Mr.. and Mrs.
Harry Macfarlane comes the news of
an engagement of interest to both
the island and town folk. Miss Gar
die Macfarlane, sister of Harry Mac
farlane, is the betrothed of Major Pot
ter, who is receiving much congratu-
lation upon his winning of the fair
maid.
Mr. and Mrs. Henry Foster Dutton
are entertaining the Macfarlanes,
who are being overwhelmed with well
come and who will receive much So
cial attention during their stay.
Miss Nell Rauch will entertain to-
day in honor of Miss California Cluff.
A luncheon for ten maids at the
Richelieu will be the affair.
An informal tea was held at the
home of Mr.. and Mrs. j. K. Wilson
on Monday in honor of the return of
Miss Marie Wilson and Miss Grace
Wilson. They have just returned from
several months abroad and are en-
joying their homecoming.
Miss Anita Poor. sister OF Mrs. Ma
rion p Maus of this city, was married
in Washington. D. c.. a short time ago
to Lieutenant Roscoe Carlisle BuImer,
u. S. N.
BY the time Mr. and Mrs. Selby
Hanna reach Germany they will in all
proba bility be Joined by the Truxtun
Beales, who are planning toward that
end. After few weeks spent at San
Rafael Mr.. and Mrs. BeaIe will leave
for Washington. d. c., thence to Eu-
rope.
Mr. and Mrs. Clement Tobin. who
have just returned from a three
months Eastern trip. will leave on
Saturday for San Mateo, where they
have taken the Walter Martin place
for a time.
Mrs. Gertrude Atherton has been en-
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29
/ SH. Ii HAVE LIVED

You smile upon your friend to-day.
To-day his Ills are over:
You hearken to the lovers say,
And happy is the lover.
Ills late to hearken. late to smile,
s.- But better late than never;
shall have lived little while
Before / die forever.
-McClure's.
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29

Special information supplied daily ID
business houses and public men by the
Press Clipping Bureau CA1len's). so Cali
fofnta st1oseG Telephone Main 1042
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29


middle night
all
Rhch peculiarly denan Times =
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29
ANSWERS TO QUERIES.

BENICIA-Subscribe Elnnira. Cal.
Benicia. California, was named for ths
wife Of General Vallejo.
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29

Townsend's Gala. Glaee Fruits, IN ar.
tistic nre-etched boxes 10 Kearny st :
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29

mira, Cal. Mendocino and Santa Fe
are Spanish names and mean: the for
mer, little liar; and the latter. holy
faith.
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29

Jersey of its Ethiopian
he could be easily syndicatedPitburg
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29

MUNROE-N. D.. City. Jack Nun
roe, the pugilist. was born October II.
1873, In Rush County. Indiana
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29

WHISKY = Subscriber. San Diego
Cal. In order to ascertain what the
amount of internal revenue was durirha
any one fiscal year on Scotch and Irish
whisky it would be necessary to wri L
to the department in Washington.
C. The published reports do not sc
regate the different kinds Of spirituo
liquors.
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29
FEMININE AMENrTIEs.

Amy Tocer-Do you know, I've a
good mind to ask some manager to
give me trial?
Sue Brette-Don't, dear. you'll be
condemned. sure.
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29

THE PACIFIC OCEAN-P. 8. H..
City. No official measurements have
been taken on this coast for the pur-
nose of discovering whether the Pa
cific Ocean has increased In size in the
past twenty-five years
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29

FOREST RESERvE-C. c. H. s..
Sacramento, Cal. For information reI-
ative TO renting from the Government
land reserved for forests but not sub
ject TO entry. address communication
to Chief Forester Newhall. Fresno,
Cal
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29

Congress
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29

HORSES.-The answer given recently
IN relation TO the horse run under the
name of the Moormead farm was based
upon Information obtained from PROM
inent turfmen. ]. j. Moore, In a eOab-
munieation, says "Al horses run under
the name of the Moormead farm are
the property OF c. T. Boots"
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29

spring model PsD cloth trimmed simply Ttb small silk
buttons and stitching The French redngofs tight fitting
In front the back acks ard euts holding snngly
to the form. The skirt is the POPULAR fe0ted
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29

admitted that he
D. B.
the ecycloue ar.-Ne
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29

Miss Pearl and Miss Irene sahin ar
rived home last evening after a very
delightful visit 10 Fort Smelling.
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29

Mr.. and Mrs. Clement Tobin. who
have just returned from three
months Eastern trip, will leave on
Saturday for San Mateo, where they
have taken the Walter Martin place
for a time.
The San Francisco call., 1905-03-29
A DIFFERENT COLOR.

"A blonde.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-01-04
MI ! | ! ] \
). /, E /: /: S,
(S1An,cin n 3 ,chn I, ~ mos. Is is,la Z

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fo anh fas s9unsS
\,
n,aasss by i iseSaPt
SNeyi near eibop,ne ,eountX, Ma
fatally 1llred ,rlllrstl,ty ling;
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lirenaslllWiVe, 5ss s ~
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Tonight ~ VI VA S
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and HsNestern C1cean Shore, limited 4
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kiaes swipsa }nnte 81 1ie
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with contents, as slestr ed By re tnls
5moinngs The damage isfoSels Il two hons..
and dollars. lis MAS one. OF the lar se,ss
and mos CONN lions \ parals t,le,
aals'! H;,, II ana
bss 81 teen miles
OF here an, the ut at eeelll hels w
Il fotntl auiity Il and sent he Yrginlas
II RefornlAI0rY, a he We're ~ = cen sand
|, 8 " ~
White !, !, was u, g
s1ea slye athei'rl So ca 8 n his hand ~,
VA mach ins "A ;ttlil md llAd MS
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FYgs n his lnnrninE elect cd chSt lar Of lie
sAlll " llaee 81.
BrnN'l, NJ eleet Y ~
declined tlse ny ION
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-01-04
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT | | N.
s|GNS5.0| PARALYSIS


rs special The sfi
GTIlCAG {. - lle Ste IS 8
sensa tionll Yldenct
against lgfp ansen who IS being tried
ON az charge tof FEARING
was sp;lral wed S,lna rendered l!n,b and,
bind as the res,.lt IN
the lcagps q Iva 81 COM, cons,
tends Al eyer ha Ip erred isss$
rs. led y on I'll, n 0rt nth,
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keeper, test fle1 Al ans!
slnoYenle e lrlolld here she
Won't litter she 4 lost lel $50, 900 gei
suit, agailst3 the tree raj Rays COM
pa Is. !sai ID hays ella lined that
,a miracle curesl3 while aieh-
Iino,ius MIS- " eclares M iss iar!sers
and iece, sal,alh had ghy
flnles thu 81 Shea slsed them
til lea She snld M ISIS Ianscll could
Tel III good looking mai, ST her # blind"
eyes across he roo nrld Sexhibited ~ mo
signs II paraly q
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-01-04
IPfNN|'y|P'lC !
QAl0URNALl|s||M M
me coMMENDs \ LAWS I ]

SI{i3x ociat etl 1'ressi) y

Il
RRtso in, b JR ct3s Z nm q ov--55
srnor Penny essa W. to the Y
Slsiattircg doyotcs op,sidc bls space y The
recent leglslnt tive ~ y va vs.
pa pnrs sf'ennsyl va1jln, ch the taoye VET
nor defends ass E t,lal rked
itnprovcincnt II 4 ll1,erit les ofS JOY
s,,alsnl. connie f,irthera,lcgis lalt-.
5ti6nS ofrrcycnt lIie l,tbi ton 'sscailsi
sdalpns inventIpns.,'..i concerning Of
dlclal lie. says. nder$ tile English
common law when b Woman iia b tlu Ltl
made out cricsSof scalid upona tfioSpull:.5-
$lIc 1ighwaysi 10 The All lOynn rc tho
licighboriiOod, She lie Id to be com
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woman whose ndal olls terlcs 4 arg 10
$contined Ito tho lrecl, on alley.
ana 8to Overlook the liIulat Dfis are
daily cried Tito the ears OF slt linz
Observation-Disclosures ipthl lc 1Olirsials ls
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g;lnunoysti present "a pet itipn he tor
new Gencr;ll. ActtinE forth ilss sand
liz Ills dgmeiit hey Ato
Sof habitnl false hood i1,l
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slil
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sIrtatho court lid VIZ 9vtlr s 81! 3 4
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