Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1905-11-14

IOmmy-HaVe you met inc H."
teacher yet? Teddy-Yes; after school
this noon. He won.-Ex.
Say, father, what is a nobody?
a mob dy, my son. is a prominent
woman's husband. Washington Life.
Tess-Do you think Marie's photo
graphs do her justice? Bess-Yes;
justice tempered with mercy.-Detroit
Tribune.
4ounSwed-I want accommodations
for my wife Hotel Clerk-Suite?
Youngwed-You bet your life she is
Washington Life.
Rejected Suitor-I may be poor now,
but there was n time when | rode in
my carriage. The Girl-Yes, when
your mother pushed it-Grit.
Paw, is it true that death loves a
shining mark" Il s>.ppose so. Why?"
Nothing, only 1 should think you'd
feel good deal safer if you wore a
wig. Chicago Tribune.
First Old Maid-This census report
says there are 100000 bachelors in
the United States. Second Old Maid
Yes, and the mean old thing doesn't
give their address Washington
Life.
Piggmus-To tell the truth, we have
to treat our cook as a member of the
family Dismukes-Great Scott! That
would never go in our house We have
TO treat ours as MISUNDERSTANDING
Life.
Al de Mustard-Your wife's costume
tonight is charming. 1t simply beg
CARS description. Justin de Bunch
And that reminds me of a conundrum
why am / like description.-SciS
sors.
McCush--Is this true that hear
De Mush-That In engaged? Yes.
Congratulate me! McCush-I can't
congratulate you on marrying any girl
who is fool enough to want you
Cleveland Leader
Mrs. Spudsworth, it seems to me-
to loquacity." STILL" replied her host
ess, as she Strengthened the 81 900 rug,
for a person as tall as her it amt so
bad as though she was shorter. Chi
cago Record Herald.
That's an auction piano your
daughters got, isn't it?" asked the sar-
castle woman next door. mo, indeedr'
replied the proud mother Indignantly.
What made you think that?" "Oh,
probably because it's going, going, go
ing all the time."-Philadelph
ledger.
Hi Tragedy-Hamm made his debut
as a star last night, and | hear his
audience was very cold. Lowe Com
edy-Yes, they were at first. Hi Trag-
edy-Ah! only at first? Lowe Com
edy-Yes; then they remembered that
they had paid to get in, and they got
hot-Catholic Standard.
Mrs. Ikki-I wish you wouldn't be
such a tight-wad! / haven't n thing
to wear. Mr. Ikki-Blinkin' Borealis!
Why, woman, you have the finest seal
coat in two degrees of latitude! Mrs.
Ikki-And what of it? There goes Mrs.
Blubberton staggering around in
real sealette coat with plush trim
mings!-Puck.
NO. said Miss Winthrop Bradley
Winthrop, your ancestors did not
come over in the 'Mayfower,' as mine
did, and L cannot marry your do
you know why they did not?" replied
Mr.. tombstone Smythe de Jones well,
I'll tell you. They were not the kind
of people who travel on excursions
Saying which he strobe haughtily from
the room-Washington Life.
A man who was wanted" by the
police had been photographed in six
different positions, and the pictures
were duly circulated among the police.
The chief of police in a country town
wrote to police headquarters of the
city in search of themalefactor a few
days after the set Of portraits had been
issued as follows: Il duly received the
pictures of the six miscreants whose
capture is desired | have arrested five
Of them, and the sixth is under obser-
walton and will be secured shortly"