News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1905-06-07

| woman who calls on Friday at the above
| address between the hours of 10 and u
| with the. sum of half crown"
The third letter was to this effect:
Mr. Lewis Crawcour the principal of
| Pomona House academy, presents his
compliments to the conductor of the min
| strel troupe now performing at Chelms-
| ford and will be glad if they can make it
| convenient to come over to the above adj
| dress at half past on Friday night and
| serenade him on the lawn outside his
| house without making their presence
| known until the music begins to celebrate
| the occasion of his marriage Should any
| one order them away they to take no
notice, as an imbecile father-in-law, who
| objects to music is residing in the house.
Having finished these compositions,
| Jack went out and posted them.
At 3 o'clock Jack, who knew the I'M
dertaker by sight met him outside the
gate.
"Sad job, this, sir" said Burroughs.
very" replied Jack, looking melan-
choly.
Jack led him into the house as pri.
| vately as possible and reached the
drawing room without being observed.
| The door was half open, and Mr.. Craw-
| cour was stretched in a deep sleep on
! the sofa.
There he is" Jack exclaimed. eve
have left him on the sofa, where he eX-
pired Of disease of the heart, until the
woman comes to lay him out"
Burroughs approached Mr.. Crawcour
md laid hold of his leg, placing a piece
Of tape on his boot; then he seized his
nose and pinched it, while he gave him
| 4 poke in the stomach to straighten
| him. This woke the ,princina. up.
"How dare you, sir, intrude yourself
upon my privacy and attempt to meas
| ure me with that tape and pull me
| about in that disrespectful manner
| while | was taking my pOstprandial
| nap?" he exclaimed.
Il came to measure you"
"MeaSure me?"
"Well, suppose I'm wrong. Where's
the corpse?"
Corpse! What do you mean?"
"Read this letter. l was sent for to
measure Mr.. Lewis Crawcour the prin-
cipal of Pomona House, who had pop
| ped off sudden"
The principal regarded the letter with
bitter smile.
, "My friend" said he, that is not
! my Wife's writing | am Mr.. Lewis
| CrawcOur, and as you will kindly OBJ
serve, am not dead. You are the vic
tim of a cruel hoax, but l think l
| know the author of it."
You'll pay me for my time. sir?"
Pay you! Confound your impudence!
| Out of MY house, sir! You ask me to
| pay you when | am the victim of a
dismal joke. Begonew
| The undertaken slowly left the room,
but his departure was expedited by a
kick from Mr. Crawcour, whereupon
he hit his assailant in the eye and
| blackened. it badly.
The principal danced about tire room,
saying: "Oh, my eye! My eyer
The application of raw meat allayed
the Inflammation, but the blackness
would not go away, and Mr.. Crawcour
was confined to his own apartment.
| He sent for Harkaway and interro-
| gated him, and Jack fairly admitted
that he wrote the letter.
what was your motive?" asked the
| principal.
"You said if l didn't behave myself
l should go to sea. | want to go, and
the sooner l go the better l shall be
| pleased, sir"
| every we'll, do not exert your tai
| ents any further. l will promise you
| that l will make such a report to your
| father that yCu shall go at once"
This conversation took place about
| 10 O'Clock on the Friday morning
| which Jack had mentioned in his adj
vertisement, and a furious ringing at
the bell outside the gate took place.
Dear me, what is that? Go to the
servant and say l am not at home,
Harkaway. l cannot see anybody.
Don't send them in now, l beg Of
you"
"All right sir. Leave it to me-"
He went to the front door and found
about seventy old women before the
house and dozens more coming up the
road. Mary, the housemaid, who was
at the door as Jack came up, was be-
Wildered.
"Oh, Mary" Jack exclaimed, "Mr.
Crawcour has advertised for matron,
and you are to show the women in,
twenty at a time"
every well, sir" replied Mary.
She counted out twenty and ushered
them in a troop into her masters pres
ence. Mr.. Crawcour, with his black
eye and fearful visage, may be mag
ined, and his dismay can be guessed at,
but neither the imagination nor the
mind will do justice to his appearance
or his feelings.
MY good women" he exclaimed,
whats this? Why are you here? Elk.
plain this mystery"
One old woman told him of the ad-
vertisement. Again a CHASTITY grin
overspread his countenance.
"Ah," he said, 81 understand it now!
But did not expect you so early. Re-
tire; you must all take your turn"
"Shall we wait outside, sir?" asked
the spokeswoman.
do so, if you please"
The deputation retired as it had come.
of IA 10