St. Tammany farmer., 1905-08-12
ETIQUETTE OF CALLS
KINDNESS THE FOUNDATION
STONE OF SOCIAL EDIFICE.
May a Man Ask Permission to Calf
If the Caller Is Bashful, Relieve
Him of His Hat-The Minute Con-
ve-sation Drags, Depart-The Hos
tess May Not End Call-Driblets
of Talk Unnecessary on the Door
Sill

| ask her permission to call. In Ordi
momentous. If two persons meet cas-
ually, find each other agreeable, and
wish further acquaintance, they usual
ly find way of bringing about what
they desire. According to strictly
conventional rules, the gentleman
should seek the acquaintance of the
| lady, and he may properly pay her
| the homage of asking if he may call
on her, or he may suggest to friend
| who knows her that he would like to
be taken to call. There are no insur,
mountable barriers in country like
| ours, to prevent the pleasant social
mingli1g of those who are mutually
attracted Nor is there the slightest
reason why, in most cases, a young
woman should hesitate to say, frank
ly: Il will be pleased to see you at
my home if you have an evening free,
or Mother will be glad to meet you
at any time" or Mother and l are
always happy to see our friends" or
any other formula that is sincere and
cordial.
Girls are learning the true value
of mothers. In the more exclusive cir
cles of society mothers spread pro-
tecting wings over their unmarried
daughters till the latter have evil
dently and definitely entered on the
privileges of spinsterhood. A young
woman who has reached her thirtieth
year no longer needs the lowering
pinion of maternal supervision at
every step. Girls, however, are saved
many embarrassments and rescued
from many predicaments by treating
their mothers with consideration, AMI
putting them as a shield between
themselves and any confusing situa-
ton. The days are over, trust for
ever, when on the announcement OF
a masculine caller, callow youth
or boy about as old as her own. son,
mother scuttles out of the parlor
like a frightened hen and leaves the
entertainment and the field to her
daughters. She may not wish to give
up her entire evening to the boy or
the man, but If she be well-bred, she
greets him and stays awhile, and re-.
tires in no disorder. Nor, while she
remains, is her presence handicap
on the group. Her girls wish mother
to know their friends.
How late may man linger when
he calls is another query solicitously
propounded. OF course the length of
a call depends somewhat on the IA
miliarity of the caller in the family.
An intimate friend will not trespass
against any accepted code if he re-
main until almost the ordinary bed
time of the family. This time, as
everyone knows, differs widely in diff.
ferent households. Ten o'clock is late
for some Others do not break tae
evening camp until IL. But, broad
ly speaking, few callers should stay
beyond half-past ten, and ten is the.
better hour for leave taking in most
instances. A first call should not be
more than a half hour long. From |
eight to nine o'clock in town calls |
are in order. In country homes call |
ing may begin and end an hour earlier
than is feasible in town. Never pro- |
tract call after it grows wearisome. |
When conversation drags like sleigh
On bare ground for PHYS sake arise
and depart. Don't monopolize the
you who receive, or you
who call. Good talk is not a mono
ogue. It must needs snow fair play.
"shall I relieve young man of his
lat, his stick. his umbrella" inquiries
| young woman, whose earnest desire
IS to be courteous. Fashion says,
ct man look after his parapherna-
ia himself The duty of hostess
loes not oblige her to take any trou-
de in the matter. But here inter-
7enes common sense. Should you
lappen to have bashful visitor, or
| near-sighted one, why not tell him
hat there is a table, hat-rack, or
ome other convenient place where
le may lay his outdoor things? The
lever guest, accustomed to society,
will need no such intimation, and the
instinct Of amiability is to assist the
opposite one, whose shyness is max
ng him wretched.
There are men who cling desperate
y to hat and stick, as if should they
ct them go they would be unarmed
q a hostile country. BY all means let
uch sufferers possess their souls, and
heir hats, too, in peace. In the case
t an aged or infrm visitor rules are
aid aside. Such one is to be cared !,
or and aided in every way. Before
sc and weakness po!iteness bows the
nee. Indeed, tie foundation stone
nderlying the social edifice and hold
1g it up, is kindness, and hard bt
hat is another stone, called common :,
ense. II you build your good man
ers on these you will not be found
1anting in kings court, or in 8 :,
ear tenement.
May the hostess terminate call?"
not, unless she has some ex-
client reason for doing SO, as, forl
lstance, illness in the family, child !,
18th the Group, husband with
heumatism, a hungry man waiting
,r his supper, when the maid is out
q her evening of. Ordinarily, the
ostess sits, attentive and interested,
ntil her visitor rises to go. She also
ses and goes with him to the door. :
own etiquette dictates leave-taking ,
the door Of the drawing-room
ld-fashioned people, of whom l am
ne, go to the house-door and say
bobby to a guest there. Politeness
0es not require driblets of talk on
le door-sill, nor any prolonged fare =
ell, with the wind blowing in the +
ao nf tho hncfocs ,,ool