The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1905-04-08

= ~ ~ sseH4@HSsN%tNe 81 "a
1fumpiing Customer-What's tbs
4 reason you raise the price Of your Goa
every month? Deaier-Well We Ana
me people keep on paying it.-chicago
d III Egs s4 sgE 9gSE Mi r1sEtsj
Dont De ashamed of work" said
i s4ncle aper.s Sometimes de man svvi
de Wheelbarrow ain got nigh AZ rnucb
tFonpie as De man Wi; de automobile, =
-W asdhington Star. ~ MT ~
IL Is difficult for people to get what
they really deserve In this life" .Tt
4 iszdifi some=eg@ ;;ss,,,se;.,,sssaragl
Miss Cayenne; Others have to dodge. -"
Washington Star.
spellbinder-Ive nailed seventeen
dlnerent lies during this campaign,
voice from Audience-Have you got a
union carpenters card, Gull ?LLouis.
tville Courier journal. n.;....,a,,,s.
They've added another man to the
force working on the new postof1ce
building" rs that so?pe. Eyes. one
or the boys employed became Of age
yesterday.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Money doesn't make the man." said
the high-browed and naughty youth.
mo-" answered Senator Sorghum, ut
doesn't make the man, but sometimes
II makes the candidate. = Washington
star s ia n IN Il FL
Wanted Circus: TIE sChild-Ar re-
you the trained nurse mamma said was
lcoming9 d The Nurseries. dear: Ira
the trained nurse. The Child --Let's
Sees some OF your tricks. ABrooklynn
Life.
Bride-George, dear, when we reach
our destination let us try to avoid CIV
Ing the impression that we are newly
married. George-All right, Maud;
you can carry this suit. ease.-NeY
yorker 'a 90 Il s&E
II wonder why they call these apart
ments 'fatsT That doesn't mean any
thing ''No, perhaps the man. who
hFs& tnYented them happened to look
at the building plan sldewise." -Phlla-
delphIa Press.
Another Victim: Newsboy-Great
mystery! Fifty Sicttms! aPufchaser--
Here! l say! There's nothing in your
paper! Newsboy-That's the mystery.
guv'nor. You're the ffty-irst victim.
ILLUSTRATED Bits, .ez- F,~-~. 80 zs.,, =. q,
"She must be very brilliant worn-
an, for hear that she says so much
that Sc Tvyoy.FfY y,nys1aya ~ al
she does. She teaches the multlplica-
ton table in the primary grade."-
Cleveland Leader.
Pats Trouble: An Irishman came to
noises in his head "Oi have thin arl
the tonne" he said, IAN sometimes
OF can hear thin fifty feet away!"-
Lippincott's Magazine.
why did the congregation hurry
out so suddenly after the benediction2'
1.-THE sexton makes them leave their
umbrellas In the vestibule. and those
who get out late haven't much of a
choice. "-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
She Was Worried: The Minister
My dear madam, let this thought con-
sole you for your husband 3 death. Re-
member that other and better men
than he have gone the same way.
BereaVed Widow-They haven't all
gone. have they?-Tlt-Bits. ...s
Just Avoiding Cuss Word Grayce
War! War! War! Gladys-What on
earth are you hollering war" about?
Grayce- Il just struck my thumb with
the hammer. Gladys-Well, what's
war got to do with it? Grayce-=Don't
you know what war is?-Louisville
Courier Journal -7-.--
She Meant Well: "Now, Tommy"
said Mrs. Bull, II want you to be good
while I'm OUT -''I'll be good for a
Nickel" replied Tommy. Tommy"
said she, 81 want you to remember
that you cannot be son of mine un-
less you are good for nothing, Louis
Vile Courier-Journal. x i y
Dentist (who has pulled the wrong
tooth)-T see how l made the mistake
1 counted the molars from the back
instead of the front. You don't seem
to have cut your wisdom teeth yet
young man. Grooming Patient-That's
evident from the choice | made of a
dentist!-Chicago Tribune, -.--..-...
Directions for Use.-The inventor OF
new feeding bottle for infants sent
out the following among his directions
for using: when the baby is done
drinking it must be unscrewed and laid
in a cool place under the hydrant, If
the baby does not thrive on fresh milk
it should be boiled. "-Collier's Weekly.
Mark T1Kain,a First Money.