The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1905-12-21

chance There are various different
kinds Of doctors who prey upon human
life. but they are easily classified.
The Family Doctor is perhaps the
best known. His ignorance is not spe-
cialiZeh. but extends to all parts Of
I'll" human anatomy. He comes usually
about fOur or five hours after he is
needed. feels of your pulse looks at
your tongue, probes your diaphragm
for appendicitis, writes in a mortified
language OH 4 printed slip and goes
away with the remark that you will
he all right i'll a day or so or that you
may possibly live three months. as the
case Ray be. If you are young and ig-
norant. You are either frightened to
death or suffused with Il gentle glow
of cOnYaleScence. in accordance with
what you have been told. But if you
are an old Stager You roll over in bed,
call for stiff drink of whisky, throw
the prescription out of the window and
sweat it out. y Family Doctor is moth
ing but Il personifed habit You pay
him To come and tell you there is no
danger. and if he thinks there is you
drop him and move up one You began
ut the foot of the class and now you
rush off and consult Il Specialist.
A Specialist is Il man who lives in
town, either on the first floor Of q
smart apartment House or in house
of his own. When lie lives in an apart
meat hous" you pay him SO to shake
hands with him, but when he lives in
his own home you place Il first mort
gage Oh all the property in your wife's
name. AS you enter his office you see
china closet full of glittering instru-
Eents, which you begin to feel enter
ing your system at various points.
Your eye lights then upon nickel
plated fountain of running water,
which you surmise is to wash away all
evidence of the crime. You feel at
once that YOU are in no condition to
cope with this array of science You
are all run down anyway, and Il brave
man would quake. But, summoning up
what little courage is left. you tell him
what the other doctors have thought
was the matter with YOU, and he
shakes his head obviously Then he
raises his hand warningly and tells
you 10 dcSi>t. He doesn't want to
know what the other doctors thought.
Why should any one with such fund
of Ignorance in himself wish to have it
encrOached upon? You don't make this
. remark to yourself then, but you do
about six months later.
You are requested to disrobe You do
10
may not notice it, and he pounds gen
tly with Ii hammer, =peeks in between
your ribs. listens at the door of your
heart for murmurS and flashes Il dark
lantern through your almentary canal.
by this time You are frightened to
death. You feel that all hope is lost.
1ou see long funeral procession wind
ing its SLOW way along You are play
ing the leading part i'll it. You can feel
the lavender satin and that awful still
ness. like reunion of the Metropolitan
club. 1t Is all over. After all. what
difference does it make: Suddenly you
awake from Your vision. and your
friend the Specialist taps you on the
shoulder and says that if. you will stop
SlttluS up late
Ii 5hts, leave your business and come
and live i'll his office for six months or
Il year and give him all you've got
there is faint chance that you may
get we'll. And if you don't: Well,
there is that three months limit
1ou leave him cordially and tell him
you will lei him know Then you 60
TO some dark corner and figure out on
The back of an old envelope just how
much it VIII cost. with the three months
staring You i'll the face There is that
funeral procession again. Never mind.
y short life and merry one. You re-
solve to die
Six months later. as You meet your
friend the Specialist on the avenue un-
fNpectcdly and bow pleasantly. you
feel secret sense of shame to think
that he has caught you alive