Bonners Ferry herald. [volume] (Bonners Ferry, Idaho) 1904-current, 1905-09-09
KsSsE6AsaAFSs
49,


Saviour new auto is sixteen horse
power, isn't it7 Fox-Um! Sixteen
balky horse power.-Brooklyn Life.
Diner-Tve been waiting half an
hour for that chicken l ordered Wait
er-You have an uncommon amount Of
patience, sir.-Judge.
Shells skin grating very late
discovery He-No, It Is only a new
branch Of a very old art; all grating Is
a skin profess.-Detroit Free Press.
Sometimes a man is despised for
twenty or thirty years because he is so
stingy, and then envied all the rest
of his life because he Is so rlch.-Som-
erville Journal.
you haven't been here long" re-
marked the ink-wel. NO" replied the
new blotter. How do you like your
work." "Well, Its certainly absorb
ing. "-Phlladelphia Ledger
Husband-You ought to know more
than TO order a pearl necklace when
you know how I'm ixedl Wlfe-Why,
John. do you think l want everybody
to know how you're fxed?-Puck.
well, Doctors Brown and Smith are
going to operate upon old Gotrox." rs
the operation necessary "Why, yes;
Brown has a note coming due. and
Smith wants an automobile Puck.
Mistress Ito applicant for cooks po-
sition)-Why did you leave your last
placer Applicant-You are very in.
quisltive, marin. l didn't AK yer what
for yer last cook left you.-Plck-M Me-
Up.
Miss Innit-You seemed bored at the
theater last night, Mr.. Knott. Don't
you like Shakespeare? Mr.. Wyso
Knott-Oh, Shakespeare's all right.
s'pose but l wlsht he'd turn out some
thing new.-Ex.
ALBERT. dear. while looking through
some of your old clothes, | made such
a lucky find that | ordered a new dress
on the strength of It," what was It,,
dearY" Half a dozen checks that had
never been written on"
Rastus Ito druggisO-Look hyah,
misteh. Yo' all sole me some stuff to
make Easteh algs yestuddy. Drug
gist-Well? Rastus-Well, feed hit
to dem hens, an dey ain lay no algs
-dey lay down en- die.
Mrs. Smith-Had your daughter a
pleasant voyage? Mrs Newrlch-Yes.
but they must have had an accident.
She wrote she landed on Terra Firma,
and l know the boat was bound for
Liverpool.-New York Mall.
Growel Qn cheap restauranO-Here
walter Are these mutton or pork
chops2 Walter-Cant you tell by the
taste? Growell-No. Walter-Then
what difference does It make what
they are?-Illustrate Bits.
Mamma thought there was an APP
pie on the sldebOard and | was going
to give II to you. but | find 1t isn't
there Freddy-Well. will you give
me something else. mummy, COS 1t
wasn't very good one?-Punch.
"One-half of the worlds happiness is
solved when person learns to mind
his own business" yes, but It's the
other half that causes the most trou-
BILE whats thatT Getting other
people to mind theirs. "-Detrolt Free
Press.
Mrs Gadabout-People are saying
you called on Mrs. Verdlgrs the other
day and got setback. Mrs. Upjohr
What wilful perversion of truth!
called on her. and got back set OF
Dickens that I'd loaned her two years
before.
Mrs. Nuwad-Here's the bread
started to make today. Isn't 1t toe
annoylngI Mr.. Nuwed-Why, 1t Ism
baked at all Mrs. Nuwed-I know /
isn't; that's just 1t. | put plenty o
baking powder in it, but 1t doesn'
seem to have worked.
La Montt-Chlldren are so mucl
worse than they used to be- VIVA
do you attribute 1t to? La Moyne-
Improved ideas in building. La Mont
What has that to do with II? 1t
Moyne-Much. Shingles are scarce
and you can't spank boy with a til
roof.
A Process Reversed: You regar
campaign calculations as a distlnc
branch of mathematician Yes" al
swered the erudte parsonage. 9Th
method differs from all others. Yo
start with the answer, and then wor
backward and evolve problem I
demonstrate It,"