The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-09-15
:PrOYedaBOOmerang


The man with the peeIing nose and
the sun-browned hands was leaning
against a wire tree-bOX, a little way
down the street from his home, a few
evenings ago, He was biting his nails
and twisting his mustache and NUT
tering to himself, when one Of his
male neighbOrs drifted along
Why, hello there said the neigh
Dor. 'Rehearsing a speech? When
d'j get back from the beach %
So evening" replied the man with
the peeling nose, glOOmily-
Don't look as if you had such a
merry time, at that" said the neigh
Dor
"Oh, I had a good enough time all
right" replied the sun-peeled man.
But it was the getting back that
curled me up I'm never going to
get real funny again, so I amt" he
added, irreIevantly.
well, take a long inhale, and blow
it out Of your system" said the neigh
Dor. Lets have it."
Happened this way" said the man
just back from the seas verge. You
know, I went down to the beach with
Ted TreadsOft, while his wife and my
wife went down to a country place in
Maryland that they took a fancy to
last year, and that they preferred to
revisit this year rather than to accom-
pany US to the beach
Ted and I had a pretty fair sort
Of a time Of il down on the Board
walk, but we didn't stretch the limit
any, and I guess there wasn't a night
we weren't in bed at our hotel by
midnight, anyhow. Last week the
game began to pull US some, and so
we decided to come home today. Our
wives had already arrived home from
the Maryland country place
while we were packing up last
night I thought saw a chance to do
a real giddy thing at Ted's expense
He's played a whole lots Of funny
ones on me in the course of the past
ten or fifteen years, and I'd been
waiting for a chance to get hunk.
This one that I had it in mind to pull
OF on him looked pretty good to me.
In a corner of one OF the bureau
drawers in the room Of my hotel I
had found when first put up there,
pretty nifty looking pair Of red silk
stockings While packing up last
night I made up my mind that those
red silk stockings really ought to
form part Of Ted's luggage.
1T looked like the chance Of my
life to get square with Ted for the
numerous tight places he'd mischiev-
Ously got me into since we'd been
pals. SO I went into Ted's room,
which adjoined mine, and asked him
if he wouldn't hike downstairs to get
time table or something.
He knocked OF his packing and
went downstairs, and then I slipped
that pair Of red silk stockings into
his trunk-put EN- away down at the
bottom Of the trunk SOS he'd be sure
not to find them during his packing
Then I spent about an hour hugging
myself over the thought OF the look
that d cross Ted's good natured chart
when his wife unpacked the trunk
and held up to his view that pair OF
frivolous hose.
Several times, before we took the
train from the beach this morning, I
felt compassionate for Ted, knowing
as I did his wife's violent jealousy OF
him, that I was on the point OF tell
ing him about that pair OF red silk
stockings I'd put in his trunk Even
when Ted shook hands with me at the
station when we got into Washington
and told me what q bully time he'd
had with me, and all that, I came
near mellowing up to the point OF
saving him the trouble I'd fixed UP
for him But he hoped an uptown
car 50 suddenly that didn't get
a chance to.
''Oh well" sighed the sun-pealed
man, mOurnfully, its happened now,
but the next time feel a disposition
to become humorous want somebody
to come along with a barrel stave
and"
Well put in the neighbor, lis it
as bad as all that2 Couldn't he eX-
plain to his wife how it was that the
article came
well. maybe Ted could have re-
piled the gloomy man. leaning his
other side against the wire tree-box.
About an hour ago my wife started
to unpack my trunk, while I stood by
and thought out the amusing letter OF
explanation I intended to write Ted's
wife in the morning. when my vile.
with a palfc anger-agitated counter
ance, held up that pair Of red silk
stockings and demanded me to ex-
plain. and explain quick
Ted had made a little switch in
the arrangement unbeknOwnst to me
when he'd found the stockings in
packfng-that all
oh, got mine ali right I'm wait
ing for my wife 10 90 to bed now. and
then III sneak through the basement
way. I don't want to breay any more
blood vessels explaining, and my ex-
plantations don't seem to go, any