Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-08-04
DAILY SHORT STORY
CALLING 1T SQUARE.


Copyright 1906. by r. B. McClur5.7
The widow Green. living next west
OF the deacon's. had been widow for
three years, and it was common talk
that she and the widower would make
a match.
In early spring the widow had bought
q cow, and that COW had jumped every
fence on the deacon's land within two
weeks. but he had always driven her
back home without d word Of com
plant. On this occasion, however, the
deacon was veXed.
Eve stood ii and stood it and stood
| it," he said to himself as he surveyed
the damages, but l can stand it no
| longer. The widder Green must be
made to understand that her COW
can't go about like a roarin' lion.
knOckin' down fences and tramplin'
| down corn. l estimate that she has
damaged me $40 worth, and that wild
der has got TO be sharply talked to-"
He drove the COW 10 the home of her
owner, giving her a vigorous whack on
the way whenever he could get near
enough, and when he had reached the
| house and been saluted by Mrs. Green
| he said:
"Widder, told you two months ago
that your new COW was Il jumper"
Yes, you did"
And that you must put poke on
her"
Yes"
We'll, you didn't 40 it. and she's
| damaged me SO When / found her
in my cornfeld just now, l almost
wanted TO kill her"
I'm sorry, deacon" was the humble
reply
But bein' sorry won't do" said the
deacon, who felt that he had the adj
vantage and should press it. 'Jumpin'
COWS should be pOked. | told you that
long ago. but you don't seem to care
| two cents"
Il was goin' to poke her
But goin' to poke Il COW and pokin'
her are two different things. That was
| the way with AIirandy. Shes dead.
| and l don't want to say anything agin
her. but she was always goin to do and
never dom. You're wilder woman,
and I'm sOrter sorry for you. but YOU
/
The law says that Jumpin' cow
Never mind what the law says.
| Deacon Albright" Interrupted the wild
| ow. You are maxim Il great fuss over
a few stalks OF corn, and If you'll tell
| me what the damage is I'll pay it. L
never thought you was such man."
But you've got jumpin cow"
Then let 'er jump. l stand ready to
pay all damages"
But you are mighty sassy about it
''Tve a right TO be. I've got no man.
| thank heaven, TO boss me around"
at would be better if you had. Then
you'd know that any one who owned
| jumpin' COW was obleeged"-
Deacon Albright how much do l
owe yOu!" exclaimed the woman.
IF twas any one else I'd say $40
| but bein' it's you
Il won't pay 10 cents"
Then I'll sue you for damages"
You can sue till the chickens become
| ducks. You could boss Mirandy around
| ana make her feel as humble as cat
but you can't boss me. Go ahead with
your old lawsuit"
The deacon said he would and turned
away. Before he had gone forty rolls
| he changed his mind. and there would
have been no legal trouble but for the
cow
Not satisfied with what she had
done, she took advantage OF the Occa-
sion to die. 1t was from overlooking
on the Juicy stalks and young ears. and
a witness was found to come forward
and swear to certain whacks the dPa-
h9 hnslaurA.l hnr "a q
he drove her along the road.
Hes so powerful quick to talk about
lawsuits that Ill give him oncv' said
the widow when she heard that the
jumping COW had passed away. And
within four hours she was in the vii
lage consulting lawyer.
When Deacon Albright received no
tice that he had been sued he, of course,
started cOuntersuit. Then some one
told the widow that he was talking
abOut her, and she started Islander
suit.
He heard that she was talking
about him, and he instituted another
suit. Then the deacOn'S sister Clipped
in and had her say. and the widow be
gan third suit. The deacon had once
saved her barn after il had been struck
by lightning. and now he instituted n
claim for salvage
The law works slowly in a country
town. \ lawsuit is a thing 10 be hung
ON TO rs long AS possible and made the
most of. The first two suits were tried
and appealed. and the two others were
called and adjourned several times. and
finally two years had passed away and
no one was better of and no point had
been settled
One morning almost as soon as the |
deacon was out Of bed he received no. |
tice that his spotted OK was lying dead |
in the widow Green's cornfield The |
animal had broken down the fence and |
Overfed. The deacon was met at the |
gate by the widow. who said.