The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1905-01-06

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"How did you find the folks in New
York;" Easy. They met me at the
station. "-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
But she's so homely!" well, that's
her privilege, l suppose" Eyes, know;
but some persons abuse their privilege
so!"-Judge.
Here is an item that says storks
are very seldom seen on the Ameri-
can continent. They get there just the
ame."-Houston Pest.
Mrs Hobbs-Isnt that Henry prac-
Using on his cornet? Mr.. Hobbs
Partly on his cornet. but principally
upon my nerve centres.
Dusty-Was that your dog l saw fol-
lowing you t. other day? Weary-No,
but l was his meat. He caught up to
me just after l got around the COR
ner.
What makes you look so jolly, old
fellow?' Il have just bought something
for my wife that didn't have to take
back and exchange. Chicago Jour-
nal.
Fuddy-Speaking of Gimlet, would
you call him distinguished actor?
buddy Considering the quality of his
equipment should say courageous"
would be better word.
Burroughs don't see why he
wouldn't lend me the five dollars
wanted. Newitt-No, he certainly could
not ask for a more permanent invest
ment.-Philadephi Press.
Percy-Molly, for your sake, I'd shed
the last drop of my blood! Molly
Yes, all young men say that But some
how they seem very careful never to
shed the first drop.-New Yorker.
You have to pay some attention to
internal law, do you not?" Eyes" an
swered the man in charge Of a Rus
sian warship. But like to be original
and make UP my international law as
go along "-Washingt Star.
The Daughter-No, mother, dear, l
could not marry Mr.. Smith; he squints-
The Mother-My dear girl, man who
has 100000 year may be affected
with a slight optical indecision-but
a squirt, never.-Tatler.
Lady calling on new wears wife,
Have you see the library at the hall?
Sir George is quite a bibliophile, you
know. Wears Wife (warmly)-Oh,
I'm so glad to hear that So many
wealthy men have no religion!"-
Punch.
my good woman, do l understand
;~ in nburoh
work." asked the clerical-looking man.
Eyes sir" replied the woman pick
ing up her basket; he's doin some
repairin' ON the steeple now, sir. -
Yonkers Statesman.
Holden-,When you asked her to
marry you did she hide her face on
your shoulder and whisper "yes?" Til
den-On the contrary, she looked me
square in the face, and remarked. Not
on your life!" Somehow | got the
impression that she wouldn't have me!
Il suppose a statesman must give
great deal of attention to looks" said
the novice. We'll" answered Senator
Sorghum, che has to keep a check
book Bupt it is just as we'll for him
to be a little careful about what he
puts down in his ledger. Washing
ton Star.
Yeast-What is your wife so pleased
about this morning? Crimsonbeak-
Why, burglars got into the house last
night Il can't understand why that
should please her" Well l can;
they took some of the preserves she's
never been able to get anybody to
take "-Yonkers Statesman.
Mother-Have you informed Mr..
Higgins of my decision that the gas
in the parlor must be turned out
promptly at ten o'clock? Pretty Daugh-
ter-Oh. yes! Mother-How did he re-
ceive the information? Pretty Daugh-
ter-Oh, he thanked me, and said he'd
he here at exactly three minutes to ten
hereafter '-Harper's Bazaar