davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24
RuIinu Passion.

Now, DR.. Pullen, / want you to fix
my teeth up in good shape" said the
lady to her dentist.
Depend upon me to do that,
ma'am," replied the man behind the
chair.
You see, I'm keeping company
with a veterinary surgeon now; and
know, before he proposes, he'll want
ami"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24
The Cars Hermitaqe.

The car sometimes wishes privacy
In his palace at Peterhof there Is
summer dining house, so arranged
that there need not be any servants
present during the meal. A bell is
touched at the end Of every course
and the table and all Of its contents
descends through the floor, to reap.
pear laden with the dishes for the
next course.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24
Those That Weren't Buried.

81 have not buried case of pneu-
monia in the past ten years." re-
marked physician noted for not
holding his light under bushel to a
fellow practitioner.
Il have heard many of your de-
ceased patients are being cremated,"
said his friend, who does not like to
call a man liar. -.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24
Her Conclusion,

1--WE got my opinion Of a woman
that can't cook" growled William De
Kikkur, glazing at his better half. Il
suppose that if our cook should get
married I'd starve to DEATH"
you needn't worry about that, Will
iam," said Mrs. De K, gently. Our
cook has been married once, and l
don't consider it at all likely that she
would care to-"
But her irate spouse had slammed
the door behind him.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24
The Brute.

John" said Mrs. Twicewed, you
are a brute! You don't express any
sorrow that my mother is dying.
don't believe you'd care if all my rel
atives died."
Eyes, l would, Maria" answered the
brute, cheerfully. 81 often find my
self grieving over the death of your
first husband"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24
Out of the Question.

Looking for birthday present for
your little boy, Ell? Why not get him
a Noah's ark?"
ooh, that would never do. We're
strict vegetarians, you know, and he'd
be sure to swallow some of the ami.
mails"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24

If my next door neighbor chooses to
have his drains in such a state as to
create a poisonous atmosphere, which
I breathe at the risk of typhus or diph-
iberia, he restricts my just freedom to
live Just as much as if he went about
with a pistol threatening my life
Prof. Huxley.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24
Practical Statistics.

The progress that DR.. Wiley is maxi
ing in his discussion of adulterated
and unauthorized whisky is as If he
had been sampling the one kind or the
other or both.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24
lnconsolable.

Miss DULL hear that young Mrs.
Blank is perfectly inconsolable since
her husbands death, and will see no
one.
Mrs. Sharp-Yes, she denies herself
to everyone but her hairdresser, her
modiste and her milliner.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24
Another Solution Often Adopted.

Husband-I can't afford to keep
girl, and you don't know the first
thing about housekeeping.
Wife-No, and I'm not going to
learn either. The idea! l want a girl
and I'll have one, too, and pay her
myself.
Hum! How will you manage it?'
.'"I'll keep boarders"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24

Even the wise man who thinks he
knows it all doesn't know why the
strenuous old hen lays an egg instead
Of standing it on end
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24
Gorky Has Many Friends.

The literature-loving people of the
world are urged to importune the car
to save Gorky, Gorky must be getting
fine material for novel and ought to
be allowed to write it.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24

Talking NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. and Edi.
son are the best: cash or payments. 81
weekly. Write to-day. JENKINS MUSIC
CO., KANSAS CITY, MO. 10000 records in
stock, Mention THIS paper.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24

this offer which is made to get you to ,
test Salzer's Warranted Vegetable Seeds.
They will send you their big plant and
seed catalog, together with enough seed
to grow
1000 fine, solid Cabbages,
1000 rich, juicy 1urnips,
1000 blanching, nut'y Celery,
1900 rich, buttery Lettuce,
1000 splendid Onions,
1000 rare, luscious Radishes,
1000 gloriously brilliant Flowers, :
ALL FOR BUT 16c POSTAGE,
providing you will return this notice, and
if you will send them zoe in postage, they
will add to the above package of fa.-
nous Berliner Carffower. w. ". VI
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24

When the Editor read 10000 plants for
Ice, he could hardly believe.it, but upon
second reading finds that the John A.
Salzer Seed Co., La Crosse, Wis, than
whom there are no more reliable and ex-
tensiYe seed growers in the world. makes
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24

Dealers say that as soon as a Gus.
toner tries Defiance Starch 1t Is i'm.
possible to sell them any other cold
water starch, 1t can be used cold OF
boiled.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24
Miuht Be More Lively.

81 suppose politics is pretty lively
in Kentucky, Colonel?"
"Oh, yes. Still, there are quite a
few noncombatants in both parties"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24

Wax figures of gumchewing females
are unknown:
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24

Miss Lighted was very much adj
'uired at the wedding ceremony last
light. noticed one gentleman who
lever took his eyes off me the whole
evening.
Miss Sharpe-Did the gentleman
have black mustache, waxed on
ends?
Yes, do you know him."
81 know of him. He is detective.
He was sent to watch the presents
Tit-Bits.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24
Look at Her.

20, lorks!" groaned Mr.. Parrot, on
the left. I'D like to meet the fellow
who taught my wife to talk!"-Jester.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24

Did you ever notice how much peo
pie can get out of the smart sayings
of their own children?
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24
Eoiled.

Archery seems to have played
out" sighed the love-sick swain.
glancing pointedly at the maid.
20. don't know" muttered Cupid,
letting go a shaft.
The maiden jumped nearly six feet.
"Ah, at last. Do you feel the
promptings Of love?" whispered the
swain.
mo, should say not" replied the
maid. ut was only a safety PIN"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24
Suspicious Declaration.

McFlub-How did Dedbrooke come
to lose his sweetheart?
Sleeth-By telling her that he could
not live without her
McFlub-Why, that makes a hit
with most women.
Sleeth-Yes; but Dedbrooke's girl
was an heiress.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24
pIsproved In Scientific Fashion.

Groggy-M' dear, this room s'beashly
cold; kin shee m breath.
Mrs. Groggy-You are entirely mis-
taken. Alcohol does not CONCEAL.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24
lmnortant to Mothers.

Examine carefully every bottle Of CASTOR1A,
a safe and sure remedy for infants and children,
and sec that 1t
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24
Under the Mistletoe

Grayce-Maude asked George
kiss her.
Gladys-Well, l like her cheek.
Grayoe-So did George.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24
Thoughtful.

Old Party-You worry your moth
err terribly. Why are you SO wicked?
Bad Boy-'Cause if I'm good she'll
worry thinkin' I'm sick.-Philadel'
phia Bulletin.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1905-02-24

Mrs. Windows Soothing syrup.
For children teethng softens the gums, reduces 10
nammation. aaya palm cures wind colo. Csc bottle
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-10-11
Moneybak Black SILK S
In the Nequ FINISH

The production Of silk of such thor
oughly satisfactory qualities as the Money
bak was a great accomplishment; but when
the time came to make a radical change IN
the finish of the silks, it meant a tremendous
amount of work and experiment for the
manufacturers. This has been done without
stint. French processes and finishes have
been thoroughly studied, and even French
workmen have been Secured in the accom-
plishment. But it was necessary to preserve
the well-known wearing qualities for which
Moneybak silks have become famous. All OF
this has been successfully accomplished.
Today the new silks are here. The Moneybak
guarantee is woven In the selvage of every piece
and the money paid will be returned promptly,
if any defect is discovered, And yet these silks
have the soft glove or kid finish, and the correct
ulster of the most desirable French silks.
Moneybak Taffetas. 20 to IS inches wide, 81
to 81 yard.
Moneybak Peau de soie 20 to II inches wide
at s125 to s175 a yard Rotunda.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-10-11
NEW TELEPHONE PLANS.
Independents WsU Use Mercantile
Electric Franchise Here.

Thomas W. Finucane. president of the United
States Independent Telephone Company. said yes
terday that the directors of the Mercantile Electric
Company. which originally owned the conduit fran
chise now to be used TO compete with the New
York and New-Jersey Telephone Company, were
James Hazen Hyde c. B. Alexander. Lyman
Rhcades. the president; William H. Mcintyre, Val
entiae p. Snyder W. B, Bremen Alvin w Krech.
Thomas D. Jordan, Gage z. Tarbell. Henry NJ. AL
exander, Henry Rogers winthrop and Henry Z.
Deming Regarding the firm he said:
Our company and the companies represented by
our directors own, control or have traffic agree
ments with independent telephone systems IN Kan
sas City and St Louis, Mo-; Louisville, lndanapo=
lis. Columbus Toledo and Cleveland ohie; Pitts
burg. Rochester, jamestown. Bersen, Brockport
canandaigua. Syracuse Rome Utica HeplSimer;
Niagara Falls in the State of New York: we
lines by which the subscribers to our system may
talk in addition to the places | have named with
Philadelphia and Albany. We shall have our own
trunk line through from the West TO Albany, WITH
in year. ~, r. ~, z -
New-York for many years TO come. The Bell Teie-
phone Company has not far from lao 900 telephones
In use in the city. of New7Yors Our exchanges rs
600 telephones in this city whenever they may be
reauired We shall be able to start business. am
glad to say, with 225,oo0 telephones.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-10-11
FUNERAL OF MIR. Gait.
Simple Service for Husband of Woman Suf-
frage Leader

The friends of suffrage all the
world will mourn with Mrs. Carrie Chapman Gait
in the death of her husband. George William Gait.
whose funeral took place at the Osborne yester-
day afternoon for president of the International
Woman Suffrage Alliance Mrs Cats is
familiar to the of many nations Mr. Gait
much devoted TO this cause his wife. and
their marriage. friend said yesterday. was ideal
Yet there sign of mourning at the funeral
The body lay in gray coffin and covered
with blanket of fowers-white and pink roses
and smilax Above it the mantle a bank
OF flowers and wreatils and growing plants stood
at either end, while the other rooms also
adorned with flowers. Mrs Gait wore one of her
ordinary black street gowns. with white lace
front. which she refused to remove before the
funeral. This in accordance with the wish
Of her husband He always said that If he died
first he did not wish her to mourning for
him. and he wanted no trappings of at his
funeral.
by the Rev DR.. Minot j. Savage of the Church
church sang The Lord is My Shepherd" and
poem. The Eternal Goodness
Among those present Mrs. Belle de Rivera,
president OF the New-York Equal Suffrage League;
Mrs. Harnet Stanton Butch, Mrs Priscilla Hack
staff. Mrs. Mary Garrett Hay Mr.. and Mrs.
members of the New-York branch Of the Iowa
State College Alumni Association. The pallbearers
Dredging Company. of which Mr. Gait was presi-
dent and the flowers were all sent by this
flowers
Mr. Gait was forty-f1ve years old and married
Carrie Lane Chapman fifteen years ago. They had
school and college together. Mrs Gait had been
previously married to Leo Chapman. who died
within year of the marriage She has no chill
dren.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-10-11
MRS. YoUNG's APPOINTMENT.
Made Principal of Normal School by
Woulen's influence

TIE annointrnent of Jane Adams, Dr.. Cornelia
De Rev and Mrs Emmons Blaine to the Chicago
school Board. and their further appointment on
rhe committee of school management. with Miss
Adams as chairman have borne their first fruits
IN the appointment OF woman TO as responsible a
ositfon as was ever held in the schools of America
She IS Mrs Ella Flagg Young. who has been APP
oointed principal of the Chicago Normal School, at
a salary of $500 year Wcmen have been prin-
citals OF vvornen's schools and colleges galore but
few indeed have been the principals of aor-
NAL schools or of any schools beyond the elemen-
tarv schools to which male and female pupils
were admitted.
Mrs. Young began her professional a
primary teacher in Chicago. More than twenty
years ago she was appointed principal She was
selected as the first assistant Superinten-
dent and distinguished herself in this Office until
E benjamin Andrews became superintendent of
the Chicago schools, six years ago. She consid-
cred that Superintendent Andrews interfered with
her initiative and individuality. and promptly
signed. She promptly offered position on
the faculty of the Chicago University and has re-
manned there since. with the exception Of the past
year, which she has spent in travel Her appoint
raent is exceedingly popular with the Chicago
Teachers Federation, ard is said TO be a sign
of reconciliation in the long troubles between
that body and the Chicago School Board. Mrs.
Young's conduct of this great school viii be
watched with interest by every one interested in
the recognition Of women in the educational world
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-10-11
WOMEN IN HALL OF FAME.
Three Gain admission alexander
Hamilton Has Most ToteS.

Three women. Maria Mitchell. Emma Willard and
Mary Lyon. were chosen yesterday to receive tab
lets in the new portion of the Hall of Fame to be
built for women and foreign born Americans. Only
forty-seven votes were necessary To give women a
tablet, though hfty-one were necessary for men,
the difference being to the gallantry of the
committee, but to the unqualified refusal of eight
electors to have any hand in giving woman the
honor denied to Poe and Phillips Brooks Chan
celor MacCTacken refused to give cut the names
of these electors. nearly all were married
He said. however that most of them seien-
lists. and this makes all the moro interesting the
a woman. Maria Mitchell, the famous astron-
onaer, who received a bare forty-seven votes.
the honored.
Among the women who failed of election were
Louisa M. Alcott, with thirty-seven votes; Helen
Hunt Jackson. with thirty-four; Dorothea Dis, with
thirty-six, ana Martha Washington, with thirty
one.
Two American statesmen were chosen. John
Quincy Adams joins the company that already irr~
cuded his father, John Adams, having received
ffty-eight votes, while James Madison received
ffty-six. John c. Calhoun and Patrick Henry each
fell six votes short Of the necessary hfty-ons
while Andrew Jackson lacked seven
Alexander Hamilton. who secures admission a
foreign born American, received eghty-seven votes
the highest number given TO any candidate at this
eighty-two votes John Paul Jones was also chosen
from this class, receiving fiftythree votes, Roger
williams Albert Galatin. John winthrop Robert
Morris and John Ericsson were the leaders among
the unsuccessful nominees. John Jacob Aston re-
ceived two votes and Cornelius Vanderbilt seven.
Miles Standish got three votes and Peter Stuyve-
SAINT two. while Hendrix Hudson received eight
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-10-11
BRYN MAWR'S PRIZE.
Just Received from St. LOuis's Exposition
Committee for Exhibit.

The diploma certifying the award of the grand
prize by the committee Of awards of the st. Louis
Exposition has just been received at Bryn Mawr
College ard Will be framed and placed with the
certificate Of award of the gold medal at Paris in
3aa. The grand prize was won by an exhibit of
competition with all colleges, both for and for
women. Special awards in addition TO the grand
prize bronze medal for a catalogue exhibit
illustrating undergraduate work in sociology, IN
der Professor Lindley Miller Keasbey, of the de-
partment Of economics. and a gold medal for a
monograph wornen's education by President NJ
Carey Thomas a monograph by Miss Thomas on
n 1900
The exhibit included photographs and drawings
OF the college buildings, with maps of the grounds
and neighboring country, some OF them prepared
ny students under the direction of the geological
department; charts and statistics showing num-
ners ana geographical distribution OF graduate un-
or aiuTnnse, their present oceupationl. subjects
studied by graduate and undergraduate students;
also charts arranged by the department of physical
training to show comparative measurements and
tests OF strength The various departments of the
college exhibited details of courses, Examination
special exhibits of the departments of geology,
chemistry and biology. There was also shown a
coilecuon OF publications of members of the faculty
and or present and former students, numbering
about 400 books, articles reviews, etc.
FORMER awards received by the college were a
nronze medal, Chicago, 1892; gold medal Paris
1927 bronze medal, Buffalo. 1901. and gold medal
Charleston, 1902
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-10-11
when he succeeds General Greedy, will apply him


NAVAL INCREASE PRoGRAMME-Secretary
Bonaparte has taken up for consideration the aues-
tor of the naval increase programme TO be
recommended to Congress for its action at the
coming session. He viii have before him the
recommendations of the general board or the navy,
Of which Admiral Dewey ia at the head and the
Naval Board Construction. composed OF a num-
Der of the chiefs OF bureaus.
THE SENIORITY oUEsT1oN.-The judge adj
voeate general OF the navy has rendered a de-
oision that the question of seniority is TO be de-
termined as between naval and marine officers hy
the date OF commission.
ORDERS IssrEp--Ths following army and navy
orders have been issued:
ARMY.
Major GEORGE O SelUIER. signal caTps; CAPTAINS
JAMES NJ aERAsMfTtI, 18th Intantr9-: WALTER =
soRpON isth Infantry and jERE q CLAYTON.
assistant surgeon; and First Lieutenant PAUL. s.
HAIIORAN assistant surgeon detailed examining
board Fort Lsayenworth.
captain CHARLES NIX. sALTZAAN, signal corps. be-
fore board az Fort ieavrnworfh, examination for
promotion
Captain JOHN j. noslvAcE. TO san Yrsncsce. pending
the arrival Of the ed cavalry.
Major General JOHN r. WESTON To washington.
captain CLARENCE n. FURpy. ist Infantry general
hospital Presdio Of san Francisco.
NAVY
commander ID W. coFFMAN. detached navy recruit
Ing rendezvous Baltimore; TO command the Eos
Commander g. II PETERS detached Navy Depart
u,ent; to Asiaiic station
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-10-11
ARMY AND NAVY NEWS.
IFrom The tribune Rureau,l
washington.


IMPORTANT ARMY VACANClES-The seiee-
ton Of General j. F. Weston as major general on
the active list and the prospect that General A w.
Greedy viii be similarly promoted have caused
n,nch comment concerning the successors OF THESE
officers as the heads of the subsistence depart
nent and the signal corps OF the army respective
Iv Mere are several applicants for the posiuohs,
which are among the most important and innuentai
in the staff branch of the military estanhsnnieht
The ofrlcer who viii become head or the snosis-
tence department is Colonel Henry c. Sharpe VINO
Is the senior offcer OF tine grade OF colonel IN the
rorns and who Is splendidly equipped for the place
He Is an officer OF large experience he Is tns
author OF several works of reference on the sue-
teet Of provisioning troops. and Is just anout 70
print new book relating TO subsistence or armies
in tine OF war and in time Of peace, the result OF
much study and research at home and abroad
colonel sharpe is at present on duty in the once
or the cammissary general. The successor OF Cen
eraI fsroeIy is likely to be Colonel James Allen the
only offcer OF that grade In the signal corps anu
also fully qualified for the place, lie is at present
an s},,ty in the War Department. The sisnai CORDS
has never been in such good condition as at present
in tbs way OF efficiency and equipment Ihets -
,nuch 10 BE desired in the direction OF increasing
tSa annnensafion OF the enlisted men and OF Sscin
tafinr rbe promotion of the officers II Is 10 TINS
suhiact that General Greedy viii devote almselt IN
his next annual report and TO which Colonel Aiiefs
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-10-11
CONTRIBUTIONS.

The following contributions have been received
fror, kindhearted friends. An express box con-
tanning excellent articles of clothing ana eight
a. =, ,,e1v rnittens shawl bedroom shoes. etc.
-. The christmas distribution, from r. C. A.; of
m9nhattan: box of fancy and useful SUNSHINE
at 49, ~ Aowers by mail without name; a ooH
Of ppeoagazines from Martha MeCook OF e
Kerr Of NewJersey package Of hRagaSsnes, f9T
the snc etsn shoulder shawl boudoir shoes. pin
Cushions harpin holders wopls ana qt pieces sa
t ITO box from Miss Tuthll, OF Erookiyn
Two I've boxes Of dowers from Mrs SFa Rr,o o.
i Elsiiile ring. without name scrap pictures rom
M Is,Sss as a special gift, from Mrs Fannie ~
Yale Of Naugatuck, Conn autumn iess s a som
,ni 1esfals from Florida several bunules OF go
rsadng without name. and leiies ,. am s use te
members in Albany County, n. 4
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-10-11
ITALIANS TO CELEBRATE COLUMBUS pA,

Columbus Day. tomorrow. will be celebrated by
the Italian Americans of this city with festival IN
Harlem River Park. The proceeds of the eelebra-
ton will be devoted TO charity, the money being
equally distributed between the Columbus Hospi-
tai Verdi School OF the Children's Aid Society. the
italian Benevolent Society and the families of the
victims of the recent earthquake in Caiahria Italy.
Preparations for the festival under the diree-
ton of Frank L. Frugone, Editor OF the Bohettho
nell. sara an Italian newspaper of this city. In
,,i+atinns 10 attend have been sent 70 President
Roosevelt Mayor Des Planches. italian Amhas-
sador TO the United Safes who mas accepted: Gov
ernor Higgins and Mayor Mcclellan.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-10-11
FOR NAVY CIVIL ENGINEERS.

The examination of candidates TO MI vacancies
IN tbe CORPS OF civil engineers In the navy began
AT the navy yard on Monday. with the physical
examination of three applicants. Mesrs Paul Cray
con and Buell the only candidates that presented
themselves for examination. Notwithstanding the
fact that there are eight vacancies 10 be filed in the
corps.
The same difficulty has occurred before IN obtains
ing a sufficient number OF candidates The reason
-iSsar ~ that The examination Is difficult and the
paw small an assistant civil engineer IN the navy
s. 500 for the second Ave years and 52lo0 after ten
ysaTss