Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1905-07-28

amount. Mr. Green, have you ever
heard Of the Great American Inter-
changeable Pie companyY
Mr.. Green stood up and laughed.
Then he leaned against the wall and
laughed. Then he sat down and snig-
gered:
"Our object is to make the American
pie known to the civilized world
known and appreciated. No other ma
ton ever built itself up on pie. 1t is
the pie, sir-the American pie-that
rules the world. My company proposes
to make them by the billion and ship
them to every inhabi spot on the
globe. From the LIST Of October to the
LIST Of March of every year we shall
make mince pies only. Forty EIGHT in
gradients and two crusts in every pie,
our trademark plainly stamped on the
upper crust, and all persons counter
feiting it viii be arrested at once.
Every pie sent to it's destination in it's
own wooden dish, and 10 cents will
buy one in Persia as we'll as in Chi
cago. One price to all, and nothing
like 'em. We have already secured
hundreds of testimonials"
"Say, now-say, now-ha! ha! hav
roared Mr.. Green as he laughed till he
was red in the face.
"From March 1 to Oct. l." continued
the major, without turning hair, 1--WE
shall send out custard, peach, cherry
and lemon pies. The price will be the
same, and they will give the same sat
all paid in, and the stock is already
selling above par. Biggest, grandest.
richest thing on the face of the earth.
The dividends will reach 100 per cent
in the first six months. Don't touch
Standard Oil-don't fool with the beef
trust Come into the Great American
Interchangeable Pie company. That
ls''-
~That is, you want me for vice presi-
dent at a salary of $4,000 per yearT
interrupted Mr.. Green
You have struck it exactly. Several
years ago you loaned me SIS. It was
bread cast upon the waters. l want
- H. /
want you to know and fully realize
that the sentiment Of gratitude still
beats in the human breast. Accept the
place, my dear old friend-accept it
and let me shake your hand in con-
graduation"
Are you through, major7' was
asked.
"Well, you can tell me what you will
do. If you have better thing on hand,
why, l have nothing to say, but you
know would like to have you with
me-"
Mr.. Green smiled. Then he gr1nned.
Then he chuckled. Then he roared and
slapped his leg.
And the dividends can't be less than
100 per cent after the first six months"
solemnly asserted the major, who was
a good deal troubled In his mind.
"You slick deadbeat! You noble old
har! You benefcent old baldheaded
son Of gun!'
II do not understand you, sir"
Then Mr.. Green rose up with smile
on his face and reached out for the
major and made his heels knock over
the stove as he swung him around
The second swing cleared the desk,
and the third raked the plaster all
along one wall. Then the major was
stood on his head, stood on his feet,
| danced up and down and played pitch
and toss with, and when he was finally
left lying on the dusty floor Mr.. Green
passed out Of the Office with 'Ta ia,
major. The Great American Inter
changeable Deadbeat company wishes
you a fond good day.
The major got up after few MIL
| utes and brushed the dust off and sat
down and hummed merrily to himself.
BE had lost everything but honor, but
! that was as safe as the rock Of Gibrai-
tar NJ. QUAD.