Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-12-23
SET Of NEW RULES
TO FIX FOOTBALL
George AIDE Has Thrown His In.
fuence to Reform
Side.
HE BELIEVES IN CHANGES.
Makes Suggestions for Substitution Of
Toss" Umpires, Kicking and
Selection Of Players.

George AIDE has thrown his influence
on the side of those who would reform
football He has done more. Wherever
his best comedy. "The College Widow
Is being played he has allowed the word
to go forth that he fayors brain force
above physical force, and he has draft
ed a set of comprehensive rules destined
10 materially reform the game.
The genial Indianian admitted the
ether day that his college play had
caused him a deal Of trouble in one way
and another. For some months after
It's production he was bombarded with
charges OF plagiarism.
Just when ! seemed to be out OF the
woods he said, 80 far as adverse
criticism of this nature was concerned.
along came several nice people who took
me to task for writing play IN glori-
fcation OF the brutal game OF football.
They said that football excitement dis
organized cur colleges, encouraged
gambling and drinking, put a premium
on beef and crowded brains INFO COR
ner, and that In writing about the game
| should have held 1t Up TO scorn. there
by pointing Y moral lesson. These criu-
cisms have touched me to the quick.
Come to think Of II. football Is rough
and unfriendly game; but that Is not
my fault Instead Of condemning the
dramatlst who pictures conditions as he
finds them, the thing for all friends OF
humanity to 10 Is to join hands and
reform the game 1t can be done.
Eliminate all physical violence, de-
brutalize the contest, sweeten 1t with
lrotherly forbearance and the game
viii at once become as harmless as
jackstraws or charades, The principal
objection to the game as II Is now play
ed Ia that strength and ferocity are put
at premium, while cholarship cuts no
figure whatever.
Under the revised rules, which | am
now submitting the test of a play tr's
ability will be his class standing. 1t IL
hoped that these rules will be approved
by that vast army of editorial writers
whose knowledge Of the game has been
obtained by reading the headlines. Wal
ter Camp may object to some Of the
provisions: but what care we?'
Selections Of Players-The IL players
constituting the team shall be selected
by the faculty, and the student who has
received the highest grade in Greek
anthology shall be captain of the team.
No student shall be eligible for the team
unless he IL up I'm his class work aid
has an established reputation for piety.
Substitution for the Toss. INSTEAD
of tossing a coin to determine which
side gets the ball. the two captains shall
be called upon to extract cube root
OF given number provided by the pro-
lessor OF mathematics. The captain
who Is first to hand in the correct So
luton gets the ball
Rotation OF Umpires.-After each
touchdown there shall be change of
umpres. so that the questions asked OF
team may. during the progress Of Il
long and exciting game, cover the class
work In zoology applied metaphysics,
veterinary science, Sanskrit and other
useful studies.
Offside Plays-Any player who makes
n grammatical error, mlspronounces a
word or seeks assistance from fellow
student shall be deemed guilty Of an
offside play, and his side shall be PEN
allied at least five yards.
Substitution for Kicking Goal--After
a touchdown has been made the team
making 1t shall be credited with five
points and the captain Of the team
shall translate 500 words OF Caesars
Commentaries. IL he does so without
an error his team Is given an additional
point. the same AZ II n goal were
kicked II he falls the ball goes to the
opposing team on the 25-yard line.
Resuming Play-On resuming play
after touchdown, one OF the players.
20 be known as 1T" is blindfolded and
the other players join hands and circle
around him, singing:
London bridge Is falling down,
Fallrg down. falling down.
London bridge Is falling down,
So farewell, my ladies'
While the players are circling about,
the player known as TT touches one of
the others in a gentlemanly manner anl
asks him three questions, which must
| be answered. Then he tries TO guess
| the name VI the player II he sue
ceeds. he picks up the ball and adj
vances II IS yards
These rules probably VIII require fur
| thor elaboration. but as they are given
| herewith they are sufficient to start the
game on a new and humane system.