The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1905-01-14
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eating crackers in bed.--Philadelphia
Record, f8 Il
| Scribbler Have you read my last
novel? CynicusI hope Do.--Philadei-
phia Record.
i Mistress Do you love babies2 Maid
Mot at three dollars week, num-
Detroit Free Press. y
i They were disappointed in love.
weren't they7" "Yes Each thought
the other had money."-~Life.
She-Have you copy of Prone
theus BoundT' He-No, ma'am; but
we can get it bound for you any way
you hke.-Minneapolis Tribune.
"This IL not such a snap as
thought it was" remarked the camera
fend whose victim had just kicked
him and smashed the machine
Judge.
II told uncle Simon that no was
getting too old and feeble to attend
to business" did he take it kindly p
HE threw me out Of his ofice."-van-
ity Fair.
Mother-What seems to be the trou-
bleS Mrs. Neuwed-I-I always heard
Charles was fond Of the turf, but I
simply can't make HIM touch q lawn
mower.-Ex.
"Do you admire Beethoven's
worksT' II never visited 'em," an
swered Mr.. Cumrox. absentmindedly.
what does he manufacture ?'-Wash-
ington Star.
Summer BoardeC-You sat up rather
late last night, did you not2 1 heard
you going to bed about 3 a. m. Farm
er-shucks! was just a-gitt1n' up
Chicago Journal.
Young man, have you stopped to
think where you will 60 when you
die?" cad, mo- haven't even
thought where to go on my summer
vacation yet"-Puck.
Johnson-I's thinkin' oh ma'ayiu'
dat youngest Thompson gal. jackson
Don't do it, niggah. Don't do 1t. Dat
gal cannot keep a job more'R two
weeks. Don't do it.-Albany Journal.
"rll git de law ON dat woman, OATS
whatr' whats the matter, Aunt
CaroliDe" "she done went an call
me up by tel'phonin' when ders small
pox in her family" -Cincinnati Trib-
une.
Pal understand, Bobbie, that at
The party you asked for second piece
Of cake. Now. 1 told you Bob
bte-No: only said that If they liked
to make me the offer I would accept
it.-Pick-Me-Up.
Her Mother-Look here, Ernie, I
thought your father told you not to
encourage that young mani Ernie
Oh, dear, mamma, that young man
doesn't need any encouragement
cage Daily News.
do You sympathizs with the Rus.
SLAMS or the JapaneSeT' "At present"
said the man who strives for nicely Of
expression. II sympathize with the
Russians and congratulate the Japa-
neSe."-Washington Star.
Beatrice (aged 6, after remaining in
deep thought for quite two minutes,
addresses her mother, who has been
choosing frockS for her)-Mummy
dear, before you buy the frocks, I've
thought 1t all over, and 1 think I'd
rather be q boy.-Punch.
II ana strongly inclined to think that
your husband has appendicitis" said
the physician. '"That's just like him, "
answered Mrs. Cumrox. He always
waits till anything has pretty near
gone out Of style before he decides to
get it."-Washtngton Star.
"Oh, George" exclaimed the young
wife, ut was nearly midnight before
you got home last night" well,
well" exclaimed the husband: you
women are so inconsistent. Before we
were married you didn't care how late
got home"-sioux Falls Press.
"Now," said the pert salesman, aar.
castcaHy. az he started to put back
the rolls Of silk. cant you think of
something more l might show you,
ma'amT' EYES," replied the shopper,
"but l don't think you have it." What
10 it" more courtesy. "-Philadel-
phia Public Ledger.
I'm afraid that you can't graduate
this year, after ALL" said the high
school professor to the Sweet Young
Thing, who was shy in Greek or some
thing. "No." she replied, ~ can't.
The dressmaker simply can't get my
dress finished in ttme-isn't it too
bad?'-Cleveland Leader.
pretty WELL" remarked the doctors
daughter, who took an interest in her
fathers purse and profession, when
some one asked her how things were
going" "Plenty of colds, some bron-
chitis, and little typhus fever; but.
as father said yesterday, what we
want to make things lively is a nice
little epidemicI'
Here Is another example of faulty
English" said the teacher Of the class