The San Francisco call., 1905-01-19
TRIBUNE STAFF
AS SATIRISTS.
ISSUE 0PR|GHTLY PUBLICATION
Chicago Newspaper Men Give Good
Advice to Novices.

The inner workings of a newspaper
office, and the troubles of the men who
sacrifice their nerves and their diges-
tion to feed a hungry public with the
news of the world are extensively treat
ed in the Little Tribune, magazine
written by the staff of the Chicago
! Tribune.
Roseate ideas that the young aspir-
ant holds in regard to the profession
are dispelled by the men who know.
Newspaper men are always ready to
execrate their work.
Gaze upon this picture Of a newspa-
per mans life:
After hastily gathering the Particular
for three column article on the life OF the
once more costly ensconced in his private Of
f1ce Before he could compose himself to dc
tate to his beautiful stenosrapher rap was
heard upon the door and the ofnce boy ap-
peared in uniform bearing card.
Senator. 8; has been waiting an hour to
, 20 tell him to come In I'll hold the story
for the city edition. Carrie and the beau
tiful stenographer. casting one lingering look
'Oh, it's YOU Senator haven't seen you
since We put that ticket through the Spring
The Senator invited him to join a party of
Congressman and Judges who were going to
SIT down at q banquet at the AuOltOrlum.
Just wait till put on my dress suit, =
said the reporter. .'and Til be with you in
a jiffy. Make yourself at home. Here's all the
latest magazines and the cigars"
The new reporter appeared moment later.
Immaculate in black and white. for he, kept
might take him into the domiciles of the money
kings and society lords.
Garrfck and ask them to reserve a box for
me tomorrow night, and wait he said, slip
ping q. quarter into the boys delighted hand.
Just tell them it's for me, you know
The office boys answer startled the new re-
porter.
you Dere's guy croaked out on Sixty-fifth
and Halsted'
It was II o'clock at night. IT, new re-
porter started up and rubbed his eyes. Say.
asked.
There Is nothing fanciful in that
awakening. Before Lawson created the
expression "frenZied finance" the news
paper man knew what it meant. The
staff of the first periodical experienced
the feeling of awful brokeness." In
Goldsmith's time, and before, the news
paper man was frenzied financier.
The advice contained in the letter
from made-over reporter to his
younger brother is not altogether sat
iricaL Any journalist who has grad
uated from cub to an all-around man
can tell where the jest Is and where
the truth is. 1t runs tnuS:
Dear Jack: Come to Chi il yJn want
to. You say you are always fretting down
home because no one can teach you anything
mere about newspaper work. You'll find a lot
Better try the City Pres, first It's train
ing school for reporters. If you stick 1t
drive G "a bread wagon You you'll o worry Along along. All
editors here pass embryo journalists along to
the City Press, where they get s. a week and
You'll learn where the expensive cafes ere
and keep away from them. You'll find places
Then when you get famous you write up
your experiences for the Workers Magazine
j'rless you are determined to throttle the
world in a pleasant. gentlemanly way. you
to have ideals and good bunch of imagina-
tion. You can wrap them up carefully and
put them away until you get ready to use
only way to play 1t is to keep up stiff blrff
and laugh, no matter what happens. They
say laughing makes you grow fat All my
clothes are getting tight. Only don't bluff too
much. unless you have the goods, or you will
It's just as bad to have a poor opinion Of
yourself. You say you've written so much
There's a little old man here. who looks like
country editor, whose paragraphs are copied
fragrant and buoyant, and he's been doing
them for thirty five years.
You'll learn lot about style after you have
had few rounds with the copy desk. The
copy readers will take your story cut all the
paragraphs apart with a pair of scissors and
shuttle them up for a deal. This Is done
u correct hopscotching and improve the story
end sometimes it does.
a good copy reader with bad liver can
save his office several hundred dollars a year
in reporters salaries Just a reporter, is
beginning to think he is making good and has
made UP his mind TO tease the c. z. for
raise of salary the good copy reader. anxious
to his salary. will get hold of that re-
porters stuff and switch 1t around so much
that the reporter will wonder whether he
worked that day.
Some reporters try to FIX the desk but
they nearly always loan money to the wrong
copy readers.
Therell be days when, to relieve your pent-
up feelings. you will feel like kicking a nice
new shiny, black coal bucket around the city
till 1t hasn't any more varnish on It
I've known reporters to call up sixteen AL
dermen on a Sunday afternoon for two cheap
interviews About the only consolation you
will have Sunday is the comic supple
ment.
Save your money, get together all the nerve
you and come
We are not told whether the aspirant
decided to throttle the word in a
pleasant, gentlemanly sort of way or
not. But any man who has to match
his intelligence with the learned and
outwit the ShrewdeSt in the daily rou-