The Washington times., 1905-11-05

o, children, the funniest mean the
awfulest-thing happened the other
EVENING" Do you want to hear about it?
Well gather round and don't ask a
single question. for if you interrupt me
a single time I'll get right up and make
tracks for home. BY the way. that's
what 1 Old the other evening after the
awful thing / am going 70 tell you about
happened. Now-ready? Well. every
mouth shut and all eyes and ears open.
One, two, three-go!
/ had been fishing and was returning
with a fine string of finnies when, get
ting a bit tired, l invited myself to take
a rest beneath tree on the roadside.
sat down and leaned back against the
tree thinking of the good supper /
would have of fried fish. just as | was
on the edge of sleepyland and trying to
make up my mind whether or not l
would better take a nap or hustle on
home with my catch, a little old red ant
came out Of his hill near by and gave
me nip on the ear. Then up came
another. and another. till / was fairly
surrounded by the little pests. Ants are
beastly things for their size, anyway,
these ants We're. Let's eat him, clothes
and allt' cried out one little glutton,
making a lunge at the tip of my nose
Then they fell 10 trying to devour me.
I jumped up and began trying 10 tramp
bers and so vOraciOus that they got the
upper hand of me. Eat him alive and
be rid Of himi' screamed another fierce
IN the attack. He doesn't have any
mercy on US. nor any caution about our
hills. He steps on US wilfully and lays
to waste our homes by one vicious kick
of his great toe. Eat him.
Just then l saw the TiSh on the string
coming to life. In another minute they
charged upon me like an army, their flns
and tails being as sharp and long as
| swords. They looked as big as sharks
and whales. and 1 tell you | was pretty
badly scared. They began thrustiDg the
/ points Of their swordlike fins and tails
/ into my flesh which made me yell with
4 pain. Just let US at him. dear little
| ants" said one great FISH with bullying
eyes and swapping teeth
At that 1 charged on him in self-de-
/ Tense and raised my foot 20 kick him
| soundly. but another huge finner threw
a line over my head 10 which was fas-
| tended n terrible fish hook. Why. it
/ was as big as a ships anchor. 'Swal-
/ low thati-' one screamed in my ear,
/ stabbing me with = fin. ''Yes, bait IL
with chicken and ice cream cried an
| other He likes those things and will
swallow the hook If II IS hidden with
/ goodies. That's the trick with US. He
bats with nice fat angle worm, and
coaxes US TO the bait, then when he
has US he pulls US out OF the water. all
| suffering with that terrible hard. sharp
| hook in our stomachs, and throws us on
the dry earth in the hot sun to suffocate.
/ After we are dead and he Is through
| with the sport he cooks us and eats US -
| III tell you what let's us do" called
/ out a huge catfish Wiggling forward
/ lets sOuse him-duck him head down
/ I'd IN the water. Let's hold him there
/ till he strangles. Water has the same
| effect on his kind as dry air does on us
fish. Leastwise. so I've been told by one
! of Neptune's children
Then they Wtggled close round. max
Ing faces at me and grabbing me in
their fms to drag me to the river. Well.
long enough to wipe my forehead: 1t
makes me sweat TO Just think of the
way l felt about that time. 1 was so
scared that each Individual hair raised
! trying 10 unrOOt itself 10 run away
was about 10 scream for help-iust like
a silly girl-1excuse me, ofrlsl-when
of a sudden heard horrible roar
overhead. and, Rlanetng up. saw great
fiocks Of birds circling about us Every
thing in the shape OF a bird that I ever
larks-every kind. I tell you. Down
shorider. Think Of It kidsII mean.
bows and girls. jaybird,
''Whew-w-wI ne whlstled. Say my
fishy friends, what are you going 10 do
with this monster?" And, TO emphasize
ear Then, without waiting for an
answer. the smarty whistled again.
| Come. fellows of the air and clouds /;
| come. let's get even with this fellow. who
| torments the life out OF US"
| Yes. yes answered a lovely little
meadow lark. to my surprise He tried
j
/ wanted to put me in eage-a prison.
And had nest full of the 1ovIiest eggs
ready TO go setting on that I might
hatch out nest Of baby larks. o. the
/ Villain Then she, the vicious thing.
/ set to work to peckinR my hnnds and
/ face in a most spiteful manner
| Aren't you ashamed of yourseif?' I
cried out, trying 70 slap her away. You
are cTueli"
| "Cruel?'' she answered. We'll. you're
not the one 10 say that to bird. What
consideration do the poor feathered
things receive at your hands, I'd like TO
| know? You shoot at us and often kill
us for no purpose except to show off.
All. you brute"'
Yes, you ought to hide your head in
shame" piped out little wren. But
we have it In for you've have. You
shall have no mercy. You killed my
mother the other day and threw he<
Door body in the hedge How would you
like somebody TO treat YOUR mother so?
/ Well. sir-I mean kids-U should say
lchildTen)-I was that scared and ashamed
that / dropped down In the weeds 10
hide myself from sight. Just as the
whole roost of these feathered torment
ors were circlins over me 70 light in a
body on me a great angleworm crawled
out of the ground and stood uD on end
before me It shook one end towa rd
those birds. and-weli. children. what
do you s'pose that angleworm did. any
way? The thing spoke! II said to the
birds: BE Off wid ycz. I'll attend to
this young worm killer, and don't you
forget it." .
TO my relief the birds raised as one
and scared away. crying hilariously:
1.-THE worm will turn when tread upon.
The rea son I felt so relieved at the
worms conduct was that ] supposed he
was alone and ! could easily cope with
think when tell you there were hun