West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1905-02-16
THE RAMBLER
Is Fast Forging 10 the Front as Best
Known Man in City Of Grating
THE SAD AND TRAGIC DEATH
Of The Gas and OIL Bill Has Placed
The City in Mourning The
Coroner is Holding an In
quest Over Remains.

have good news to send back to
my friends in Preston. l am rapid.
ly climbing the ladder of fame. l
am the best known man in the city
of Charleston, not excepting Gov.
Dawson, Marshal Elliott and the
Gas and Oil bill. They held the
boards for few days but the gas
and oil soon escaped The mem
bers imbibed too freely Of il and 1t
caused an explosion. The Coroner
has been summoned and is holding
an inquest over the remains. There
has been great lammentation over
the death of the gas and oil bill.
The city is in mourning. 1t is the
only real sad exhibition of grief 1
have observed in Charleston since /
arrived. A large numoer of the
relatives of the gas and oil bill have
been summond to appear before the
Coroner and give in their evidence
as to how it met its death in the
hands Of its friends. Prof. John
Worthington, noted geologist, has
been asked TO return from New
York City. Marshal Elliott, who
was a near and dear friend of the
deceased, will be one of the chief
mourners. Gov Dawson, who was
scarcely on speaking terms with it,
will be called upon to deliver an
eulogy. Speaker Grosscup has been
chosen as the funeral orator. He is
wonderful orator when properly
inflated with gas. He is quite oily,
too, when they they attempt to stop
his flow of back talk TO the COM
mittee.
am meeting great many of my
old friends here who marvel at my
lightning-hke strides in statesman
ship. One of the old friends whom
. like to meet and converse with is
Senator Jake Fisher. Jake was not
born large. but he is spreading him
self down here The last time /
met Jake was in a hash house in
Parkersburg where we sat down TO
do justice TO a bowl of beans and
console one another over the licking
we anticipated in political conven-
tion the next day. But the unex-
pected happened, and we licked the
other fellows. Jake claims to this
day that il was the beans that saved
US. Jake is a member of the Cor
oner's jury that is trying the gas aad
oil bill. He tells me that the evi-
dence so far prove that it was
strangled.
l ran an across another dear
friend whom campaigned with in
Preston, Mr.. George Byrne. Geo.
is the gentleman who introduced
old speck into Preston and she has
been scratching ever since. told
him in friendly way that it would
not be safe to return 10 Preston, as
Editor Whetsell, of the Family
Journal, has not been free from the
chicken scare since he left the coun.
ty. Bro. Byrne, who is a journalist
like myself, told me he had refused
a sample Of all hair tonic, and il
was his proud boast that there was
not hair between the top OF his
head and heaven. In a hsir pull
ing contest with Senator Montgom-
cry Bro. Byrne would have a decid-
ed advantage.
/ bad a secret conference with
Gov. Dawson last night, and he
charged me to say to the Republi-
cans Of Preston that he is greatly
worried over the new tax laws. He
says that the reports coming in from
the Chicken Tax Assessors is really
alarming. He is more than fright
cned at the untold wealth that they
unearthed. lie says if the ratio
keeps up that every farmer in the
State of West Virginia will be a
millionaire. This will necessarily
increase their taxes enormously and
he fears that they may enter a vig-
orous protest as he promised them
during the campaign that the new
tax laws would decrease taxation on
the farm, except old speck and her
brood. lie wants this information
kept from Leader Shaw, as the
Leader has been carrying a chip on
his shoulder for the past twenty FIVE
years, defying the Governor TO fin
il off. He has no objections to the
rest Of the Preston county Republi.
cans being taken into the secrets OF
the new tax laws as he empha,ically
declared they would vote the straight
Republican ticket If they had to