The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-06-27

further. When dinner was over she
assisted him with his collar, tie and
cuffs and chatted so brightly OF other
things that Mr.. Bowser almost forgot
that he had ever had two boils on one
leg at once and had used the crutch
OF hero. When ready to depart he
said:
This win not be late banquet They
always break up early. You needn't
sit up for me- however. Some Of the
generals may want to talk with me
after It's over"
But you'll be carefulT"
'tOf whaty'
Tell them that you are ready to
die for your country, but don't let on
that you never have. Keep clear OF
battles and army matters or you'll get
all mixed up"
Perhaps you'd better hire small
boy TO so along with me!'
"You know what I mean. You have
never read much about the war, and II
you begin talking about II you'n get
Bull Run mixed up with Appomattox.
You look like real general as you
stand there now, with your hat cooked
on one side and your left leg drawn
back. but of course you are not"
Mr.. BowSer had got ready to say
something mean in reply, but he was
flattered by her words, and, giving her
supposed military salute and bow,
he took his departure.
Mrs. Bowser did not go to bed. A
still, small voice toM her that when
her patriot came home he would have
need OF her services. 1t was hard on
to midnight when she heard something
stumble up the front steps, fall down
and take minute TO get up again.
She went TO the door, and there stood
Mr.. Bowser. He wasn't standing ex-
actly, but, rather, leaning, and the
wedges in his knees seemed to have
come loose. She reached out and haul
ed him in, helped him of with his
spring overcoat and hat and then con-
Quoted him along TO the sitting room
and sat him down in chair. Then he
awoke and looked around and asked:
Where am | and who are youi-
You are in your own house. Mr.
Bowser, though how you knew it will
always be a puzzle to me, and am
Mrs. Bowser. Did you have a good
time at the hog banquet
SHAY, now, | am Bowsher, amt II
"YeS."
"Sheneral Bowsher?'
We'll, say, General Bowser.'
Then 'er want TO tell you that
had the best time in all my life. |.
incest banquet ever saw. incest fel- /
lers ever met Moren forty feTlers
shook hands with me and called me
Sheneral Bowsher."
But you didnt claim to be a gem
eral. did you?
"Yesh, did, Mrs. Bowsher-yesh I
did. l wasn't goin' to tell no lies to
please you nor anybody else. Yesh,
shlr. told EN- | was 'er great and |
noble Sheneral Bowsher, who led bis
division into 'er Jaws of death at Syra-
cuse, and you ought to have heard
the cheering"
But there was no battle OF Syra.
cuse."
You are awfully nice womaR, Mrs.
BOwsher-awfully nice and good wom-
an-but don't dispute your husband.
Your husband knows all about 'er war.
There was battle Of Syracuse, and l
lost 1900 heroes there. They asked
me to tell 'er story"
And you stood up and told itT'
"Of course. When 'er feller patriots
wanter hear my story I must tell 1t,
mustn't /? Course / told my story. l !
stood up like zhls-and waved my arm
like zhis-and--
Mr. Bowser came within an ace ee
falling backwards, but Mrs. Bowser
grabbed him In time, and as he gok /
seated again he exclaimed:
Heroes and patriots. Our com
mander asks as to die for our beloved /
country. Zhere is 'er enemy in front \
of US. Here we be. Shall 1t ever be
shaid that Britons-shall 1t ever be
shaid that-that--shall It ever Mrs.
Bowsher, pass along zhat shampagne
and lobster salad"
But there Is none here, dear. You |
are not at the hog banquet now, but In
your own home"
"Ish That so? But l am Sheneral
Bowsher just er shameT'
"Oh, yes. Go on and finish what you
said to your troops at Syracuse"
II never shald nozzing to nobody at
Syracuse. 1t was at Rochester. /
shaid zhat we were called upon to die
for our country. Don't dishpute me,
Mrs. Bowsher. You are awfully good
woman and know a hull lot, but never,
never dishpute your husband. When
he shays be died for his country at
Newark, don't you shay 1t was Bos-
ton"
well, you died"
Ibid II Did die, Mrs BowsherT
You did"
Poor Bowsher! Poor Eheneral Bow
sher! Shay, That makes me feel bad.
| wanted to live to make you happy,
AF-o no,-,bar h,,E vxvovk oud dInd fnr