The daily Alaskan., 1905-07-03
The Stupid Recruit
InrIrInall

Just before the opening of Che spring Of 1862 tall. lank, green looking man entered one Of the camps of the Con federate General Johnston at Nash vile, Tenn, and said he would Ike Co join the "rlglment" He was turned over to drin sergeant, with instruc lions Go try to make soldier or him.
 The Confedcrates were never con splcuous for soldierly appearance; in- deed they were best noted as fighters Yet notwithstanding the want of atten- ton to the army regulations the recruit at once became noted for being the most unsOldlerly man among them. The bump Of discipline seemed Co be hollow ln his head. He was constantly wandering from his command and spending long terms in the guarihousc for doing SO Though the sergeant spent hours drilling him, the recruit could never learn the difference be. tween carry" and shoulder" arms At least if he did he was sure Co forget lt the next day. On post he was con tlnuany making blunders He was the butt of hts regiment and the subject for innumerable tricks.
 One morning he appeared at his colo nels tent and told him that he had been appointed spokesman for the en- listed men or his regiment Co say that they desired to be led at once against the enemy. The colonel looked at the man, astonished, then quietly wrote a note. gave 1t to him and told hisn Co take it to the regimental surgeon. The surgeon after reading it examined the bearer for his sanity, but sent him back with a paper stating that he was perfectly sane, though stupid.
 The recruit next appeared at general headquarters and reported for ''order ly." It was never known whether this was by mistake or for a joke, but the adjutaut who made the detail was sent back to his company for doing Sd. The recruit attracted the attention of the stan for his awkwardnesS and when the generals tent was vacant bun iered Into lt and was caught reading the generals papers. He was sent back Co hls colonel under guard. with report Of his conduct, whercupon the colonel. after considering the pro priety of ordering him betorc a court martial, decided to recommend his dis charge on the ground that it would be for the good Of the service, But Che Confederacy at that time not being overburdened with powder food, the general commanding declined Co grant the discharge on the ground that if the man was a fool he should be placed In the front rank, where the army might get rid Of him Co a purpose,
 One night when the recruit was on outpost duty a shot was heard coming from where he was stationed. and be came running In, crying: The Nanks air comin', The Tanks air comIn "' The long roll was beaten, and the com mand turned out forming in line of battle. But no enemy came After waiting the attack for some time skir- mlSherS were thrown out and found the body Of the major, who had been officer of the day visiting the pickets He had been shot through the head The men were sent back Co their tents, and the recruit was sent up under guard Co the general After ConSidera- blc questioning the general sent him back to his regiment under care or an aid, The colonel was directed either to have the stupid ass shot 'by mis. take" or connive at his descrtion.
 The colonel chose the latter course He called the recruit into his tent and told him he had decided Co have him shot at sunrise the next morning. Then he sent him to his regiment with or. ders Co his colonel Co place him where he could escape during the night
 That was the last seen Of the stupid recruit in that army, When the sun rose in the morning he was Tar away The officer Of the day reported the es cape to the colonel who received ii with great satisfaction and at once TO ported it to the general who was de lighted 0t the wise course he had pur sued. He sent back a congratulatiou on getting rid of man SO stupid that he didn't know a friend from an enc my. But the officer most relieeed wa, the captain Of the company 10 whicl the recruit belonged.
 Early in April Of that year the battl, Of shiloh was fought, and among tn, prisoners taken by the Union forces was this very captain. One Of the mer who marched him In stepped up along side Of him and said;
 "Can. yo' don't remember me.H