Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1905-10-07

down for him. but I amt got nothin'
special to do tonight, so I thought I'd
hitch up and go and git 'em myself
You and Jerry can match cents to see
who does the dishes. l did 'em last
night, so it's my watch below
"Well, I shan't do 'em," declared
Captain Perez. Blessed If I'd do the
durn things tonight if the president Of
the United States asked me to-"
"Humph!' sputtered Captain Jerry.
II s'pose you fellers think I'll do 'em
all the time. If you do you're mistook,
that's all. 'Twan't last night you done
'em, Fri; twas the night afore.
take my chances ag'in If we match.
but I'm jiggered If let you shove the
whole thing off on to me. 1 didn't
ship for cook no more'n the rest Of
you"
Neither Of the others saw fit to an
swer this declaration of independence
and there was pause in the conversa-
ton. Then Captain Jerry said mood
lily:
"It amt no use. 1t don't work.
"What don't work?' asked Captain
Err.
"Why, this plan of ours. I thought
when we fellers give up goin' to sea
regular and settled down here to keep
house ourselves and live economical
and all that, that twas goin' to be
fine. I thought wouldn't mind dom
my share of the work bit, thought
'twould be kind Of fun to swab decks
and all that Well, twas for a spell,
but faint now. I'm SO sick Of it that
1 don't know what to do. And I'm
sick of Twin in a pigpen too. Loon
at them headlights! They're so dirty
that when I turn out in the pornin'
and go to look through 'em can't tell
whether it's foul weather or fair
Captain Err looked at the windows
toward which his friend pointed and
signed assent.
'There's no use falkin'," he observed,
"we've got to, have steward aboard
this craft"
Eyes, said Captain Perez emphat-
ically. ia steward Of a woman. One
Of IDS III have to git married. that's
afl.'
Married. roared the two in chorus.
THAT'S what I said, married, and
take the others to board in this house.
Look here, now! When shipwrecked
crews starvin' one of 'em has to be
sacrificed for the good of the rest, and
that's what we've got to do. One Of US
has got to git married for the benefit
of the other two"
Captain Err shouted hilariously.
"Good boy, Perez" he cried. Coin to
be the first offerin'?'
"Not unless it's my luck, Fri. Well
all three match for it, same as we do
bout washin' the Dishes"
where are you goin' to find wife?"
asked Captain Jerry.
"Now, that's jest what I'm goin' to
show you. see how things was goin',
and I've been thinkin' this over for a
considerable spell. Hold on minute
till overhaul my kit"
He went into the front bedroom, and
through the open door they could see
him turning over the contents Of the
chest with p. R. in brass nails on the
lid. He scattered about him fish lines,
hooks, lead for sinlzers, ollcloth Jackets,
whales teeth and various other arti-
cles, and at length came back bearing
a much crumpled sheet of printed pa
per.
sThere! There she is! The Nup-ti-al
Chime A Journal Of Matrimony.' I
see a piece about it in the Herald the
other day and sent dime for sam
pie copy. It's chock full of advertise
ments from women that wants hus-
bands"
Captain Fri put on his spectacles and
hitched his chair up to the table. After
giving the pages Of the Nuptial Chime
a hurried inspection he remarked:
"There seems to be strong runnin'
to 'vi-va-ci-ous brunettes' and 'blonds
with tender and romantic DISPOSE
tions.'"
ooh, hush up, Err! faint likely I'd
want to write to any of 'em in there
The thing for us to do would be to
write out a advertisement of our own,
tell what sort Of woman we want and
then set back and wait for answers
Now, what do you sayF'
Captain Fri looked at the advocate
of matrimony for q moment without
speaking. Then he said, do you really
mean it, PerezF'
"Sartin do"
"What do you think of it, Jerry?'
Think it's a good idee," said that
ancient mariner decisively. We've got
to do somethin', and this looks like the
only sensible thing"
''Then Erl's got to do itv' asserted
Captain Perez dogmatically. "We
agreed to stick together, and two to
ones vote. Come on now, Fri, well
match"
Captain Err hesitated.
"Come on, Erir' ordered Captain Jer.
~. Amt goin' to mutiny, are your"
Cali right" said Captain Fri. "I'll
stick to the ship. Only he added
with quizzical glance at his com.