The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-10-22

per man, club fellow and postprandial
speaker as he is 10 the Southrons for
his delicious tales OF life Of the sunny
states, Is man of whom the merry
bon vivants love TO tell stories. He
has lived down the semi-fTOst that the
young lady from Butte" Miss Mary
Mclsane, gave him when he was depu
TIED by Mr. Hearst's afternoon Chi
cagO American to Interview her as a
kind devil' on her future prospects
IN the realm of ''literatOor" Mr.. Read
ran up to St Paul, think it was, with
the intention Of journeying back Chi
caSuWdrd in the same section with
Mary IN the search for copy The tale
current afterWard was that Mary
turned an acrid battery on him and
would have very little Of him, so there
was deal of bantering about it.
When Opie Read went i'm for the
newspaper game with the Hearst folk,
II became with his faithful wife u
matter OF surprise and chagrin phat lie
should stay out so late o nights Mr..
Reads peuchaut for the round table
delights OF the Chicago Press club did
detain him. of course, on his trips from
the office TO his home, and even when
he told the boys that he must-must go
home, he was frequently induced to
lnger and tell just one more story.
scheme of preparing a midnight lunch
for Mr. Read. since he had told her he
must have lunch down town or some
where, and nightly she lid out tempt
ing edibles for him on the dining room
table. sitting up herself 10 await his re-
turn home. His fond wife argued with
him about the interests of his health.
With the use Of such logic she man
aged TO get him home at a seasOnable
hour, although occasionally Mr. Read
tarried by the wayside.
One night Press club spirits, mascu-
line and alcoholic, kept him beyond the
appointed hour considerably and he
crept home feeling trihe guilty. His
wife had tired of waiting up for him
and long since retired. Mr. Read decided
that to make himself presentable he
would better eat heartily of the mid
night repast spread for him some two
hours before, his idea being that the
food would overcome the effects of the
clubs sideboard.
So Mr.. Read partoOk eagerly of the
lunch and then made his way 10 Mrs
Reads room.
Good morning, Opie," said she You
are home rather late, are you not?
Did you enjoy your luuchy'
Il enjoyed the lunch immensely,
dear" he replied. "all excepting that
Internal celery"
Celery? Why. you had no celery.
We've had no celery in the house for
a week"
''Well. I did have celery. and it was
the toughest durn stuff l ever ate in
my life"
Mrs. Read made the room ring with
peals of laughter.
"Oh, Opie," she cried, you must have
been eating that golden rod hi the
vase" Which Opie had.
on another occasion Mr.. Read lin
gcred longer at the club than was his
wont. The club was entertaining some
distinguished visitors from out of town
and the author of a Kentucky Colo
mel" was ably assisting In playing the
host Punch cOncOcted inimitably Ia
Chicago: -~tss club had long been do
ing its insidious work.
Presently Mr.. Read arOse-and this is
no siander-rather unsteadily il we
must be honest, and decreed that he
should take his departure,
so sorry 10 leave you all, gentle
men, he said. but / must so home. 1t
Is growing very late
\ club servant brought Mr. Reads
topcoat and hat, ana he started for the
elevator.
Festivities were resumed and AIR
Reads departure forgotten for the
time. In about ten minutes, however
the merrymakeTs were astonished 60
hear il series of loud crashes from the
rear Of the club somewhere. The con-
CussiouS shook the floor and came win
alarming frequency
one of the boys on the Tribune rushed
back precipitately TO the scene Of trOu-
BILE. Bursting into one of the back
rooms he heard a mOnOlOgue something
like this:
Cant DO n thing with these new
tangled folding beds. Hang them, any
way! This modern furniture's awfully
XasDeTating!"
Mr.. Reads giant frame was thrown
= across the front of the club piano,
which ne was streHuOusiy endeaVOring
TO pull over forward.
What might have happened if he had
succeeded in pulling down this folding
bed can be conjecturcd,
Mr.. Read was vending his way home
ward one night when two bold. bad
Chicago highWaymeu held him up. He
had stepped from the shadow thrown
by the south side elevated railroad
structure and was headed for his resi-
dence when the bandit pair halted him
with a gun. Mr. Read was in such a
frame of mind, induced by cOnyiyial-
ity, that it required more than high
Waymen TO disturb his eQudnimity.
The time-hOHored command that he
throw up his hands was issued, but
Read would not obey.
Boys" he said, 'Whash use in my
putting up my hands, You can have
any old thing I've got, and III give i.
10 you myself"
The highwaymen saw he was an
inofensive victim, and merely laughed.
Read dug into his jeans and produced
his roll, about $50.
Take il along. boys" he said.
you're more'n welcome. And, shay,
] live right over here, nearby. Come
ON over and have drink and some
thing 10 eat BE my guests"
Read looked harmless 10 the bandits,
ana as they were only human they ac-
Cepted his mvitation. He introduced
himself, showed them all the courtesies
and hospitality of his home. set them
up" a nice luncheon and a few drinks
He joked and told stories with them
until a very late hour, and found them
not half bad fellows
Before they said good night they
shook hands with him and shame
facedly returned his money.
George AIDE has become probably the
most talked-about product OF a Chicago
newspaper office of the last generation. :
His successes as a newspaper man
and humOrist We're followed quickly by
his highly profitable experience in the
dramatic field as q playwright Now
he is known the breadth of the CONT
,nent as one of the most versatile young
men of the day.
When AIDE went ON Victor +. Law
sans fshf.aur, T1rfIzr Nvasya no Was nm