The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-28
HVMOR or TIE Ply

would you like to leave dis cart IN q
fiery Chariot"
mo, subj Don't even want ter tahe a
thermometer wild me.'-Atlanta Constitu-
ton.
Rathlene-It's little ye love me or ye W1d
niver stay away from me az ye did last
evening, list because av wee bit o
Dudee Mike-sure, it wor 3 pourin' down
floods, nlavoureen. but it wor not tn rain
tnet KEEP me away from tn light av y'r
hiveniy eyes.
KathIene-En' wat wor 1T
Dundee Bfike-It vgor tn lack av an UNI
hrella--New York Weekly
81 wish to get position If possible, 81
Had much experience with children
I have raised fourteen
garten work2"
No, ma am
wen. I am afraid you won't do; you
lack knowledge. Houston Post.
The youth from Chicago was very much
snitten with the beautiful girl who lived
IN the provincial town Of St Louis.
Darling" he whispered, as they stroIled
toxicatinS''
The beautiful girl gave a start.
Then I must close them at once. You
know this is Sunday and no intoxicating
places. are allowed to be open in ST.
And so they walked across the bridge.
where they could be alone.-Chicago News.
Little boy" said the teacher of the
class, do you intend to come to Sunday
I guess so, ma'am,'' answered the ur-
chin with the cropped head and the soiled
face, with some hesitation rs dere any
thing in it sides de pictur' cards and de
picnic ?'-Chicago Tribune.
Mrs. Henpecker--I see the japanese treat
Henpecker-Yes, they don't give them
hash seven mornings a week-W ASKING
ton Post.
.'wot did yer tell de judge?"
Dat everybody wuz tryin' to keep me
- An what did he do?"
Sent me up."-Cleveland Leader.
What's this I hear about your giving
up your regular practice?
Had to: didn't have time for it. I have
been appointed physician to an auto club
Houston Post.
Mrs. De. style-Did you ever do any
fggh9ti,n Ing at close quarters , Major?
RED life has been spent in a fiat.-Chicago
News,
Miss Gadd-There goes Jack PoorIey
Ny! he looks as solemn as an undertaken
Mr.. Batchellor-No wonder: he's going
to undertake a wife next week.-Phiiadei-
phia Press.
There's another bunch of bridal ecu
pies on that Ship remarked Father Nep-
Yes. replied the Atlantic Ocean Tn
being crossed in love pretty regular these
days."-Louisville Courier-JournaI.
Don't let it happen again, that's all
said Johnny's mother when she heard
Johnny had played truant
Johnny between his sobs. Il did it on
purpose. Boston Transcript
Hicks-Bjenks has a wonderful intellect,
WicksEYes Whenever he has cold
he can always figure out just where and
when he got it-Somerville Journal
"A Connecticut man fell down stairs and
cured himself OF rheumatism by breaking
Next thing we know some other man
will fall down stairs and cure himself of
tOnsilitis by breaking his neck. '-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
What is a race problem, pa?"
How to get home from one. Judge.
Don't you think her husband is natural
Sometimes think he is. and sometimes
I think she's got him scared Houston
Post.
Now, he's got what really cali horse
How. for fnstance?"
He never bets on one. ''-Philadelphia
Press.
Il could never understand" said the
quiet citizen, what is the attraction in
Perhaps replied the enthusiastic be-
ginner with the bandaged head, its the
attraction of gravitation. "-Philadelphia
Ledger.
DO the Russians stin insist that they
are not beaten2" said one of the Japanese
''They do" replied the other. ~
Wen, they are about as well informed
on that point as on some other matters
to modern warfare. wash
inSton Post.
II see that a woman's debating club has
Just been formed in Philadelphia"
How is it to be conducted?"
why, I suppose they meet once a week
and play ist"-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Kind Lady-Poor mani wouldn't you
The Hobo (snspiciousIy)-what kind nv
chop. lady-lanab or woodshed 2-ChicagO
Remember" said the earnest citizen,
that the eyes of the public are upon
'.That condition Is provided for ans
wered Senator Sorghum I'm political
the hand out must always
De quicker than the eyesight. washing
-on Star.
Church-Why do they suppose they al
ways put the band in the rear at the time
If a battle?
Gothau-Judging from some bands
nave heard. I suppose it is because most
II the soldiers would rather go forward
Ind takes the chances of being shot down,
han 20 back and listen to the band
Yonkers Statesman.
Jack-Uncle John. do you believe in
ireams2
Uncle John-Why?
Jack--I dreamed last night that YOU
ent me a hundred
Keep it, my boy; keep t.''-Adeggendor-
ler Batter.
YES said the bride of the week. Jack
ellis me everything he knows, and I tell
him everything know
Indeed rejoined her ex-rival. The
silence when you two are together must
le r.nnressiVe ,,-EIorda Chat