Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-11-20

Hes glad that he's awe!
-Somerville Journal.
This little story comes from the South.
The first slice of goose had been cut, and
the minister of the Zion church looked at
it with as keen anticipation as was dis
played i'm the faces around him.
'.Dat's as fire a goose as ever saw.
Brudder Williams" he said to his host,
Where did YOU get such n fine Cne?'
well, now, Mistah RaWley,' said the
! carver of the goose, with - sudden ac-
cess of dignity, when you preach d
special good sermon, | never axes you
where you got il. seems to me OATS a
| triv' al matter, anyway. "-Exchange.
Maine girl of IDEALS told a young
| nan who asked her for her hand that
| she should not think of marrying Il man
| with less than $1,000.
| The young man went to Boston and
worked very hard for several years, re-
| turned, and called on the young lady,
who said, We'll, John, how are you get
| ting along"
! Pretty WELL" he said, II have almost
| gotten SO towards the $1,000
well. John" she said, Il do not know
but that is enough. L guess We can get
| along with that"
| of Montana were swapping stories the
| other day, when the secretary Of the
| treasury told Il. good one about q man
| out in an Iowa town MiO was never
| another, no matter how improbable il
| might be.
| ''rme day a group of fellows determined
| to see If they couldn't get Smith-Ill call
him. smith, said Secretary Shaw."tO
express a dissenting opinion. So when
Smith came along one of the boys said
| -, :" Had "A most remarkable experience
| the other day Smith. AS I was COM
| ing into town through the hills yonder I
saw q buffalo up tree eating grapes, SO
l shot him. Did you ever see a buffalo up
| u tree SMITH
"'Well, | can't say that I have re-
| turned Smith, regretfully.
What, persisted the story teller.
Never saw IA buffalo up a, tree eating
arares?
well, no, 4 never saw n buffalo up a
tree bat : aid Smith, Frightening up, Il
know they are very fond of grapes
A party of men, among whom was Col.
William Jennings Bryan, Were one night
waiting for train in n. depot hotel in a
small Missouri town. The landlady was
the only woman present.
The talk turning upon the alleged in
ability of women to see the point of Il
joke as readily as do the men, Mr.. Bryan
took the ground that 4 sense of humOr
was as much L part of the feminine
| if merely lacked opportunity for develop
ment.
ITO illustrate" said he, take tile
story of a party of eXcursionsts in the
Aegean sell. When approaching the Gre
clan coast the party assembled about the
rails to enjoy the beautiful scenery. One
lady turned inap.ir II to a gentleman at
"'What is that white off there on the
Vel. that's funny she replied. My
husband said it-was grease"
All OF the men in the group laughed
noisily ut Mr. Bryan's story, but the land
lady looked puzzled. Finally she said:
But, Mr.. BRYAN. how did the grease get
on the mountain
Mr.. Bryan at once dropped the defense
Of women as born humorsts.
Pat O'Hoolihan. according to an eX-
change, is 4 good old lriShman of sturdy
stock and much common sense. The frill.S
and furbelowS were forgotten in Pats
makeup. and he can't entirely realize
their necessity II. tie composition of 9th
crs. Pat was strOlling along the streets
Of New York in his usual amiablc fashion,
when he was accoSted by Il man in Spic
and span attire. Directions were asked
and given and the two fell into conVersa-
interest in the vicinity. Finally Pat. with
his accustomed frankness said:
And who might ye be-?
The stranger drew himself up with dig
Kenneth Edgerton of London, Knight OF
the Garter, Knight of the Bath. Knight Of
the Malta. Knight of the Golden Fleece.
knight of st. John. Knight of the Royal
Legion and of the Iron Cross. And whom
have ] the honor of addressing"
Pat was speeches. for moment. and
then drawing himself up to his full height.
said impreSSiVelV:
tonoieht. lahst noight, noisht hefoor lahst,
noight befoor thaht, tomorrow noight and
livery other bloody noight in the wake
"
As the lamented Gen Harry Heth OF
the late confederacy was passing through
the country after his advance scouts h."