davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21

When a man gets off as his own a
joke he read in paper. without being
caught, he thinks he ought TO write a
comic opera.
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21
Those Who Have Tried It.

will use no other. Defiance Cold Wa
ter Starch has no equal in Quantity
or Quality-16 OF. for 10 cents. Other
brands contain only IL OF.
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21

Constant Subscriber suys that an
Town girl wants the name and address
OF the handsomest man In Colorado.
we have sent him our card.
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21

Superior quality and extra quantity
must win. This is why Defiance Starch
is taking the place of all others.
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21

Nobody reads Christmas gift books
nobody smokes Christmas cigars. no
body wears Christmas slippers and
neckties-but in spite Of all these
things. Christmas remains a Great, In
stitution.
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21
s77.85-Dcnvcr to City OF Mexico and
Return.

The City of Mexico invites the tour
ist with IA thousand different attrac-
tions. 1t appeals to all classes Of pleas
ure seekers. Its parks. plazas. grand
old cathedrals, theaters, clubs, art gal
leries and museums are among the fin
est and most interesting in the world.
The climate is delightful. Side trips
may be made from the city to the Ru-
ins of Militia. Tampico, Vera Cruz and
other points. Mr.. Il. A. Cooper, c. p.
A.. Colorado e Southern, 18th and Cur
tbs SITS, will furnish full data.
"Hardupp says his word is as good
as his bond" We'll, l should say it
was-just about"
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21

A wife's affections that have been
alienated are not worth one per cent
of the amount her husband usually
sues for.
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21

Etc permanently flts or nervousness after
I'll frrt day OF DR.. Kline's Nerve Restor
Send for FREE $500 trial bottle and treatise
DR. r. H. KLINE, Ltd 9si Arch Street. lphia Pa
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21

A GUARANTEED CURE FOR PILES.
Itching Blind. Blecding. Protrudng Piles. Drug
gsta authorized to refund money II PAZO
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21

IT is the woman with "A new hat who
never complains because the sermon Is
long drawn out.
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21

Lewis Single Binder costs more than
other DC cigars. Smokers know why
Your dealer or Lewis, Factory. Peoria. III
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21

100 not believe Pisos Cure for Consumption
has an equal for coughs and colds.-JoHN f.
BOYER, Trinity Springs. Ind. Feb. Is 1900
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21

Every housekeeper should know that
II they will buy Defiance Cold Water
Starch for laundry use they will save
not only time, because 1t never sticks
to the iron, but because each package
contains 16 Ozone full pound-whfle
all other Cold Water Starches are put
up in A-pound packages, and the price
is the same. 10 cents Then again
because Defiance Starch is free from
all injurious chemicals. If your grocer
tries to sell you a 12-oz. package 1t
is because he has a stock on hand
which he wishes to dispose of before
he puts in Defiance. He knows that,
Defiance Starch has printed on every
package in large letters and figures
&c ozs.' Demand Defiance and save
much time and money and the annoy
ance of the iron sticking. Defiance
never sticks.
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21

The parrot used to be called a popin-
Jay, but now 1t Is usually called
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21
More Flexible and Lastina,

man may get into the penitentiary
being penitent.
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21

A really ingenious person ought to
be able to work off lot of last years
Christmas presents on his friends this
year.
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21

Never try to collect n bill December
2lst-its the shortest day in the wear.
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21
Insist on eetsinq It.

Some grocers say they don't keep
Defiance Starch because they have
stock on hand of II OF. brands. which
they know cannot be sold to custo-
mer who has once used the 16 o.
pkg. Defiance Starch for same money.
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21

May we remark that the museum
freak who swallows fire is a light
eater?
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21

Can 1t be that the life insurance
officials neglected to insure themselves
against the loss of their jobs?
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21

When woman begins to lose her
eyesight she makes an ideal chaperon-
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21
II "showed EN-"

Despite the fact that northern New
England is stronghold of temperance.
If not of prohibition, temperance leo
turers sometimes go there and encour
age the faithful. One such speaking in
Keene, New Hampshire, reminded his
hearers of the story of Dives and Laz'
arus. The lecturer pointed out how
when Dives was in hades he did not
ask for beer or wine or liquor. but for
one drop of water.
Now, my friends" said the lecturer.
what does that show us?"
A voice from the back Of the hall in
stantly replied: 1T shows us where
you temperance people go to-"
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21

Have You Ever Spent n Winter south.
Galveston has the finest beach in the
South. The climate is wonderful. Low
altitude. humidity of atmosphere
soothing sea breezes and the general
restful effect of the easy southern life
all tend to slow down the irritable
heart and brain and bring about per-
feet rest
The Colorado G. Southern makes a
round trip rate of s4S.5O to Galveston.
Mr.. E. A. Cooper, c. II. A. 18th and
Curtis Sts;, will tell you about this at
tractive place.
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21

Lewis Single Binder straight DC. You
pay l0c for cigars not so good Your dealer
or Lewis Factory Peoria, Ill.
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21
The Peasants of Poitou
Picturesque Dwellers IN Perhaps the
Most Beautiful Part Of Sunny France
Especial correspondence-)

that are sent, when done, to be
stamped by some noted mandatory.
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21

Mrs. Windows Soothing Syrup.
For children teething, softens the gums reduces
nammaton, aiays pain, cures wind collie. 2c bottle.
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21
SEVEN YEARS AGO.

A Rochester Chemist Found oIneu-
larry Effective Medicine.
william A. franklin. Of the Frank
lin & Palmer Chemical Co, Roches-
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21

1t is unlucky to be run over by an
automobile on the, 18th of the month.
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21
Import.pt to Mothers.
Have You Ever spent n winter south.

Many a girl who married for leisure
has repented in hurry.
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21

Many n mans ears would be shocked
if they heard him speak u kind word to
his wife.
The Elbert County tribune., 1905-12-21
Pathos between Lines.

John Mitchell, in a description OF
one of the historic coal strikes of the
last century, said:
"There is a story of the privations of
these poor people that has a grim pa
thos in it. Its pathetic rather than its
humorous side makes the story worth
repeating.
"a child, during the strike. goes to
Mrs. Simpkins on Monday morning and
says:
"'Please, ma am. my mother sent me
for the loan of ybur marrow bones to
make soup with
".Ten your mother Mrs. Simpkins
replies. that Mrs. Murphy has them
to-day. and Mrs. McDevitt is promised
them for tomorrow. but she can have
them on Wednesday If she'll return
them promptly, bein' as I want to
make soup myself on Thursday. F"
Haggard Reads Obituary.
Rider Haggard tells good story
about the premature publication of an
obituary notice of himself. Hearing
that a ballet based on She" was to
be produced in Hungary, he wrote ask
ing for programmes and photographs
A reply came that the manager was
shocked at the request, for he had
believed the illustrious Herr Author
to be dead. Long obituaries had ap
peared in the Hungarian journals
Mr.. Haggard then wrote and asked
that a contradiction might be circu
lated. but the manager reported that
the editors refused to insert it, as
they believed it to be an unscrupulous
attempt to obtain free advertisement
for the ballet.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-10
The Grasshopper's Song.

a writer in an English paper tells
US some interesting facts about the
grasshopper This insect has wing
that is very curious to look at. You
have doubtless seen the grasshopper.
lis color is light green, and just
where the wings join the body there
is a thick ridge and another on the
wing. On this ridge there is thin
but strong skin, which makes sort
of drum head.
1t is the rubbing of these two
ridges, or drum heads, which makes
the queer noise YOU have heard.
There is no music in it certainly.
The insects could keep quiet if they
wished, but they must enjoy making
the noise.
The grasshopper sometimes makes
two rubs on his drum head and
sometimes three. The moment it is
very dark it begins. Soon the whole
company is at work. As they rest
after each rubbing, it seems as if
they answered one another.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-10

There are no difficulties OF Ian
guage to man as tacttul as GER
tain lord mayor OF London, OF whom
st. james Budget tells.
The eminent Dean Pi9ou was
once invited to conduct Il service IN
French at the chapel Of the Hospital
For Huguenots, South Hackney.
Previous to the day the dean
wrote out in English sermon on
the "Reyocation Of the Edict OF
Nantes" Then with the aid Of Mrs.
Pigou, a sound French scholar, he
translated the whole into French
and preached on the day in that
Among the distinguished persons
present was the lord mayor, who
fastened to thank the dean at the
close Of service, adding:
"Tbough, sir, do not know one
word of French, | understood you
perfectlv."
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-10
DEEP SEA DIVERS.
Some Daring Feats Performed by the
Workers Under Water.

At what depth can diver carry
OFT his functions: How long can
lie remain under the surface: What
Is the effect of high air pressurea on
.Ie human system: one we'll known
lrm of submarine engineers limits
the depth of descent TO twenty-five
idthoms, or, say, $50 feet. But op-
erations have been carried out at
greater depths than this, and per-
Aaps the greatest distance below the
surface at which a diver has sue
ceeded in working Is thlrty-four
fathoms, or 204 feet. This was ac-
comphshed by James Hooper, who
descended to the ship Cape Horn,
sunk off Pichidanque, South Ameri-
ca, and sustained a pressure of eigh-
weight and a half pounds on every
square inch Of his body.
Another remarkable feat was that
of Alexander Lambert, who recover
ed 10000 in gold coin from the
steamship Al lphonso MI, sunk off
Point Gando, Grand Canary, in
nearly thirty fathoms of water, the
actual depth of the treasure room
being 26 2-3 fathoms, or 100 feet.
This map also performed the daring
feat of stopping the flooding of the
Severn tunnel when a door in the
drainage tunnel had been left open.
The door was situated quarter of
mile distant from the shaft, but
equipped in his diving dress he crept
that distance through narrow pas
sage full of water and closed the
door. This plucky act enabled the
pumps to overcome the volume of
water which was flooding the work
ing and allowed the completion of
the tunnel to be carried out.
A further interesting case of deep
diving is that of Angel Erostarbe,
who succeeded in recovering silver
bars valued at $4,000 from the
steamer Skyro, sunk off Cape Finis-
tere in over thirty fathoms, In this
case the diver had to blow away por-
tions of the vessel with dynamite
before he could reach the treasure
chamber. Three dives per diem
were frequent, and as many as five
descents were made in one day, The
maximum period under water was
twenty minutes.
The effect of high pressure on the
constitution is not found in curious
when the work is carried out under
ordinary precautions. \ French
scientist has gone so far as to claim
that breathing compressed air is a
remedy for asthma and emphysema.
1t is also said to excite digestion,
owing to the great quantity Of oxy-
gen carried into the blood. 1t has
been found that a period Of two
hours should elapse between a meal
and descent. In descending the
movement should be slow, and if
the pressure causes pains in the
head this can be remedied by rising
gently few feet, when the descent
can be recontinued. In ascending
divers are recommended not to ex-
ceed a speed of two feet per sec
ond.-Pall Mall Gazette,
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-10
TIME.
Its Divisibiity and Its Relation to tn,
Speed Of the Planets.

Napoleon, who knew the value OF
time, remarked that il was the quar-
ter hours that won battles. The
value of minutes has been often rec.
ognized, and any person watching
a railway clerk handing out tickets
and change during the last few MIN
utes available must have been struck
with how much could be done in
those short portions Of time.
At the appointed hour the train
starts and by and by is carving pas.
sengers at the rate Of sixty miles an
hour. In a second YOU are carried
twenty-nine yards. In one twenty.
ninth of a second you pass over one
yard. Now, one yard is quite an
appreciable distance, but one TWEEN.
ty-ninth of a second is a period
which cannot be appreciated.
Yet it is when we come to plane.
tary and stellar motions that the
notion of the infinite divisibility of
time dawns upon us in a new light,
1t would seem that no portion OF
time, however microscopic, is una,
vailable. Nature can perform prod,
igies not certainly in less than ne
time, but in portions of it SO mi.
mute as to be altogether inconceiya-
BILE. The earth revolves on her axis
in twenty-four hours. At the equa,
tor her circumference is $4,000
miles; hence in that part of the
earth a person is being Carried east
ward at the rate of 500 yards pei
second-that is, he is moving over
a yard, whose length is conceivable
in the period of one tiye-hundred.
and-ninth part of a second. of which
we can have no conception at all.
But more, the orbital motion OF
the earth around the sun causes the
former to perform a revolution Of
nearly 600,000.000 miles in a year,
or somewhat less than 10000 miles
an hour, which is more than 1000
miles a minute. Here, then, oul
second carries us the long distance
of about nineteen miles. The
mighty ball thus flies about a mile
in the nineteenth part of a second.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-10
Mo Time w lasted.

Farmer Cy Whipple was said to
have had more religion than any
other man in Mendocino county, lie
boasted that, for more than forty
wears. he had never missed meal
or neglected to say grace. It was
said that { IS religion and his ap-
petite merged SO closely that it was Is
hard to tell where the one left oil
and the other began. When the din,
ner bell summoned the family and
the help to the dining room, Cy al
ways led the charge. While the 9th tn
ers were seating themselves at the
table the old man would start in;
90 Lord, we thank thee for havln'
given us such beautiful day. Sane
tify this food to our souls good
Amen. Pass the meat. San Fran
cisco Call. .----------
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-10
A Novel Competition.

A contest brought out at recent
party given for younger school chill
dren was voted by the youngsters
as novel and very good fun. For it
everybody was seated around large
table and given a strip of paste
board and one section of paper of
pins. When the bell rang everybody
began to stick the pins upright in
the pasteboard so as to form row.
The player having the greatest num-
Der Of pins in this row when the
bell rang the second time received a
prize. This took the appropriate
form of pincushion of handy
shape to hang up.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-10
The United States Army.

The United States army now COM
prises Is regiments Of cavalry, $50
officers and l2,G>0 enlisted men, SO
batteries of field artillery and 126
companies of coast artillery, 65l
officers and 11,t42 enlisted men, 80
regiments Of infantry, 1900 officers
and 25,345 enlisted men, 3 battal-
ions of engineers, 1,2S3 enlisted
men. commanded by officers detail
ed from the corps of engineers; staff
corps, Indian scouts, etc, 2,81T en-
listed men; | Porto Rican regiment
81 officers and 554 enlisted men; 50
companics of Filipino scouts, lOC
officers and 5000 men, The full
strength Of the entire establishment
is about 1881 officers and $3.50
enlisted men.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-10
COMMEMORATE CAUTION.
Yet In Spite of II the Dealer Was
Badly Trieked.

The woman Who stood next TO me
1T the sill, counter Of department
store one day last week gave 500
bill in payment. II reminded the
salesman OF an experience Of his,
and after the customer had gone
away with her change he told me
about II.
Several years ago. he said, 81
was clerking for my uncle in New
England town which was only just
beginning to be a summer resort,
One day a very well dressed woman
came in and after buying a few
things offered me a 500 bill.
"Now, bills of that size are not
common, in that part Of the country
at least. Uncle had me scurry over
to the bank with it to see whether it
was good, while he went to explain
to the lady the necessity for such
caution. When ! came back with
the information that the money was
undoubtedly good | found the Gus
toner in a tearing rage. She said
she'd been insulted and wanted her
big bank note back. She wouldn't
buy ANYTHING in the store. Motif we
gave it to her. She took the bill,
put it into her purse and started
out.
almost at the door she changed
her mind and came back. She said
she realized that it was all a matter
of business and would make the
purchases after all. We few around
to wrap up the things she chose,
and when she planked down her
500 bill again uncle handed over
the change with alacrity She took
$50 in change and her parcel and
away she went. We never saw her
again. but when uncle went to de-
post his money in the bank next
time he had her recalled to him very
distinctly. The bill was a very poor
counterfeit. She had tucked the
genuine bill into her purse and sub
stitnted the worthless one. Uncle
was done ont of his goods and mon
ev through his commendable cau-
ton. Washington Post.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-10
Wanted His Moneys Worth.

An Albany woman the other day
took her small grandson to service.
AS they approached the poor box
the grandmother handed the boy II
dime with directions to drop it in
the slot.
"What for2" asked the inquisitiye
child.
"Put it in" reiterated the woman.
ut will buy loaf of bread"
After stopping a moment for a
silent prayer, she said, Come on,
George"
"No, grandma" promptly replied
the boy, "we must wait for our
bread" Albany Journal.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-10
HORSE TORTURE.
Sitting the Nostrls Is Not Yet ,
Wholly Obsolete Practice.

Sitting a horses nostrils is still.
practiced in some part. of the world
il, in Persia, Mongolia and even il
northern Africa. and ponies with
slit nostril- are often seen in the
Himalayas and in Afghanistan. This
murilation is resorled to in the er.
roneous belief that the horse can in.
hale more air when going at fast
pace and also that ii prevents neigh.
ing. a disqualification of much i'm.
nortance during war or when it i:
desirable to travel as silently as
los -ible. 1t wa, practiced in Hun.
gary not long ago, if We are to ac.
cent As evidence the COPY of finish.
ed sketch Of a horses head bv the
celebrated Hoifani. given in Colonel
Hamjlton's work on horses. 1t i:
rather surprising that the fashion
WA, not renewed in England. for two
or thrce centuries ago TO prevent
horse neirhing it was recommended
TO tie woolen band around the
toncue. Markham SAYS:
"If either when vou are in service
in the wars and would not be dis.
covered or when upon any other oc.
casion YOU would not have yom
horse to neigh or make a noise YOU
shall take vste (band) of wooden
cloth and TIVE it fast in many fold:
about the middle of your horse:
tonrue. and believe it. so long as the
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-10

Give each person six pins. Have
one person at time take up his po-
sition on the rug or carpet and,
standing erect with his arm stretch
ed out from the shoulder, drop the
pins one at a time Each pin that
stands upright in the carpet means
point for the player. The person
having most points is prize winner.
If two or more have equal scores
they must draw for the prize, which
if there is any way of obtaining such
an article at the time might be
pretty pin tray. a very pretty one
can be made of heavy white linen,
embroidered with tiny roses and
having the edge turned up all
around, buttonholed with colored
silk and the corners tied together
with ribbon.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-10
Cinchcna.

Cinchona was originally called
Countess powder" from the fact
that it was said to have been intro
duced into Europe by the Countess
of Cinchona, wife of the yiceroy o,
Peru. 1t was also called Peruvian
bark and JeSuits' bark, from tn,
country where it was originally dis
covered and from the Jesuit father,
who used it in medical practice. Il
was first used in the cure Of inter
mittent feyers about 1910. The tret
from which the bark is procured
grows in Peru, Bolivia, Venezuela
New Granada and many other part;
of South America and has beer
planted with success in India anc
Cevlon. There are said to be ovel
a dozen varieties of the cinchons
producing plant, all of which yielc
bark of different quality. Qulnine
or quinia, an alkaIoid contained il
the bark, was discovered by Pelle
tier and Cayenton in 1920. 1t is be-
lieyed to be d probable constituent
of all the yellow cinchona barks.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-10
New York's Bro adway.

Since the Boulevard was added to
Broadway, as it properly should be,
Broadway is now the longest street
contained in city limits and actually
populated. Halsted street, in Chi
cago, is theoretically longer than
our fourteen mile Broadway, but the
street both begins and ends in the
farming district within the Chicago
city limits, while there are houses
on Broadway up to the city line. No
street abroad compares in length
with Broadway. The London streets,
"although the metropolitan dis
trict" covers much more territory,
seldom retain their name for any
length, some Of them being known
by as many as three or four titles
New York Herald.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-10
Professor Huxley.

Professor Huxley was man OF
very simple and direct manner. In
the classroom he made his lectures
graphic by finding illustrations for
scientific truths in everyday exam
pies, as when in treating Of animals
that change their color he referred
to the fact that when he was tired
or nervous he fancied he was
graver than usual. He was gallant
to the fair sex. One Of them, who
attended his South kensington lee
lures, asked him to introduce her to
Herbert Spencer and was amused by
his mock serious response, 81
thought | was your first love" To
this same lady he said, in talking
about the death of Agassiz, the
news of which he had just heard,
81 wonder where he isI' He made
the remark in a tone of profound
sadness.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-11-10
Josh Billings.

Josh Billings in Ills Savings"
1SG6) wrote the following declara-
ton: ''To Deaken Uriah Billings
a man of menny virtues and sum
yices-this book IL completely dedi-
cated-and may he have the
strength to stand this own neph-
ew, Joshua Billings" And in the
same volume the author SAYS to the
reader: "Tred litely. dear reader,
for the way is ruff. This book waz
got up tew sell, but if it don't prove
tew be a sell | shan't worry about it.
J. Billings"