Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1905-06-21
DRUNKEN sHERIFf, LAWYER
AND MUSICIAN REUSED MIN
ISTER AT MIDNIGHT.
Held Impromptu Service-Insisted on
Signing Pledge, Etc = En-
counter with Squaw
Man in Texas.
By Charles Frederic Goss, d. D.

1
| Years eve he and his wife talked long
| and retired late. A few moments after
| midnight they were aroused by thun-
| dering knock on their front door, Tom
| sprang out of bed, picked his way re-
| luctantly across the cold floor and asked
| in terror-stricken tones, Who's there?'
Bob Haskell" cried loud, insistent
| voice.
This unexpected answer caused the
listener genuine alarm, for Bob Haskell
| was the village constable
"Wh-wha-what do you w-w-Want2"
| he stammered.
Alarmed at Midnight.
Let me int" the voice replied, and at
the same time the knob was ratified vio-
lently and the bottom of the door kicked
by a heavy boot. Tom obeyed, and as
the door swung back, in came the sheriff
with two other men, and blast OF icy
air from the zero world outside.
Light your lamp and get on your
Clothes" cried the constable in loud
voice. The terrified minister did not
wait for second invitation, and when
with great haste and greater difficulty
he had at last arrayed himself in. coat
and trousers he lighted the lamp and
faced his visitors. 1t took but single
glance to show that they were drunk.
"Eller' said the constable, we've
come (his) to sign the pledge! Amt
that right, fellers?"
''Y' becher life said one. You're
cackling," said the other.
Ppm pIo5 RI haor POh &c tho
right thing to do Tom replied impress
lively.
That's why (hic) we're doom IT, in
terposed one of the sheriff's companions.
Been on big blow out. All broke up, :"
drawled the other
'Sno joke, Eller!' said the sheriff
Were gone ter quit and join the
church! So get yer pen and paper and
thic) write pledge. Make 'er strong!"
'Iron-clad!" Copper riveted!" his
friends added
Music by Drunken Trio.
Between the almost uncomfortable
cold and his fear that it was all
farce, Tom was completely ratified, but
began to get out his writing materials
AS he did so one of the men, whom he
| now recognized as the musician at one
of the low dives in the village, stag
gered across the room, threw open the
top of the cabinet organ and said:
I'VE ought to have some music at er
thic) religious meeting. I've been
pious m ownself. Backslider! Prodi-
gal son! But I'm alters a gentleman,
drunk or sober! Wha1l " have?
Yield not ter TEN (hic) tation,' or Hole
er Fort'?''
Hole er Fort" replied the third
man. dissolute young attorney.
While the minister wrote the peni-
tents sang. 1t was revolving, but Tom
didn't seem to know how to control
the drunkards and write their pledge
at the same time, and so he stuck to
his task
Come, now! Here it u.s." he said,
when he had finished.
Read 'er!" the constable com
manded. and he obeyed
That's bully!'' replied the drunken
minion of the law, sitting unsteadily
down
Feel like (hic) 1 wuz signin' Decla-
rashun uf Findpendence!" he hic-
coughed, as he scrawled his name.
"Or Magma (hic) Charta,' suggested
| the musician.
"Or writ of habus (hic) corpus"
added the lawyer.
Prayer by Command.
After all had signed the sheriff
slapped the minister Familiarity on
the back and said: "Eller, yer good
| Teller! Zers only one thing more
| We've (hic) gotter have a prayer"
'Thas right Can't keep this n our
own strength" said the organist.
Nd say. Eller! Don't scrimp it.
(hic). Giv's the long prayer md not
the invocation" said the lawyer.
I'VE need it (hic), the Lord knows"
the sheriff added, feelingly.
Tom had been in tight places before
but this experience seemed to break all
! previous records. He felt as if he
were about to commit a sacrilege. hut
what else could he do? The men were
evidently in deadly earnest. And then
1t might accomplish some good. he
thought. While he was pondering the
proplem OF his duty the men them
selves had solved it. for they had got
ten slowly and with great difficulty
down upon their knees.
"Wha's the matter?" asked the sher.
IN. wondering at the delay and peen-
| ing through his fingers.
| Courts open for bizzness," said
| the lawyer
Always a Chico gentleman. drunk
or sober" the organist reiterated.
Tom made up his mind to give them
what they wanted and all they wanted
and he aid. If any lawbreakers
were ever presented before the bar of
justice in their true characters thew
|. were.
'Tha's right" said the sheriff.
Give it to us," said the lawyer.
Put on the loud pedal" said the