The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1905-11-17
WHAT If 1T HAD HAPPENED IN
WILMINGTON?

Below we give the Washington
Posts account of what happened to
Mr.. Augustus Brown and his use
while he was stepping from a street
car In the city of Cleveland, Ohio.
Now just suppose that had occurred in
Wilmington. y. G.. Don't you know
Mr.. Augustus Brown would have had
more lawyers than doctors in at
tendance upon him before he could
reach his home and that before break
fast the next day the sheriff would
have been looking for an official of the
Consolidated" on whom TO serve a
summons in a suit for damages! Here's
what happened to Mr.. Augustus
Brown and we have not heard of his
bringing suit for damages:
We sympathize deeply with the Hon
Augustus Brown, of Cleveland. Ohio,
but shall not go so far as to say that
he has any just grievance against the
Hon. Tom Johnson. We r in a gen.
era1 way. opposed to cutting it too fat.
Things went hard with Brown. we
freely admit. As he stepped off a street
car during the busiest hour Of the day,
and at one of the most crowded locali-
ties in Cleveland. his trousers caught
on the lower step-some of the iron
work was loose. simultaneously. a
brutally i~nattentive conductor started
the car and, spontaneously, the Hon.
Augustus Brown sat down upon the
Belgian blocks with great suddenness
and violence. Moreover, the Hon.
Augustus kept right along with the
vehicle, towed by the left leg Of his
trousers, and presenting a picture of
unusual distress and consternation.
What made it worse was the fact that
the spectators on the sidewalk were
disposed to be disrespectful. Brown
screamed for help, though, Of course.
in a perfectly dignified way. but the
conductor was inside collecting fares,
and did not hear him. At last.
Browns s~uspenders gave way, and he
was left sitting in the street, with the
car vanishing into the distance. and
his trousers flying wildly from the
lower step.
Naturally, Brown couldn't sit there
in the middle of the street forever.
Already he had narrowly escaped a
garbage cart and two ShOrt-haired
ladies or bicycles. So Brown a1ose
n took a look around. Excepting the
loss of a pair of beautifully creased
trousers and q large assortment Oh
abrasiona. which would perhaps rause
him to take his meals at the manteI-
piece fer a Week or So. Brown vas
in pretty fair shape. He wore a very
shiny silk hat. a perfectly cut frock
coat, patent leather shoes, a bouton-
Mere. the finest carriers in the market,
and a suit of union underwear fit for
the most limpid and illustrious legs in
any land. 1t is a sad thing to be di-
vested of ones trousers in broad day
| light, as Brown was on the occasion
we refer to, but there ought to be a
whole lot in Il silk hat, frOck coat, bOu-
tonniere, patent leather shoes. and i'm
| proved garters. The frock coat must
| have concealed any ravages caused by
/ Browns rapid transit over the Belgian
blocks in a sitting posture, and, other
| wise, Brown was in a position to stalk
maiestically into the nearest beer a
loon and borrow a pair of plain pants
from the barkeeDer.
Really, we do not hin that Brown
should pursue the Hon. Tom Johnson
Johnson isn't responsible for the de.
fective iron work on the car, the loss
of Browns trousers, or the injuries
which are only temporary, by the way
to Browns posterior person. VIII
not call it off-especially the trousers
and appeal to friendly intervention
with a superior variety of ointment?