davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1905-09-26
BoozER AND HIS BOTTLE
Suggest a Problem Which Admits OF
Considerable PRONG and
Coming.

What's the matter? Funny, isn't 1T
Mans drunk when he's full; bottles
drunk when it's empty. Mighty funny;
man amt drunk when he's empty,
bottle amt drunk when it's full, says
a Washington Star writer.
Where does the drunk come from?
Give it up; cant be explained: 'speck
1t growed, like Topsy. Perhaps the
man. drinks the whisky in the bottle
No.. no; he don't; the whisky is in
the bottle already. All, yes. the man
drinks the whisky out of the bottle.
Perhaps sos but II he Is gentleman
perhaps he drinks it out of tumbler.
OF course, he pours the whisky out OF
the bottle In the
No. no; you, are wrong: not any
other whisky that is out of the bottle:
we mean the whisky in the bottle.
Well. he pours the whisky In the bot
tie, out of the bottle. in the tumbler.
Yes, that is tautologically correct.
But you need not keep trying to trip
a fellow up SO often.
Lam not trying to trip you up. only
to Keep you from falling into mis-
takes. You are a nice one; II you
don't try to trip me up, you trip me
down, and that Is one way to keep a
fellow from falling into anything. But
I bear no grudge. Go on.
Well, the man fills the tumbler full,
but he don't drink the tumbler full
by a long shot. But If he wants to get
Jolly tight don't he drink the tumbler
full
BY no means-he drinks the tum-
bier empty. And this expression,
"the tumbler empty" placing the ad-
jective after the noun, Is sort Of
foreign idiom, which, translated into
English. means he drinks the empty
tumbler. Oh, I see now what you
mean. When a man tries to drain
his glass q second time, when there
is nothing in 1t, he tries to drink the
empty tumbler. for there II nothing
else there for him to drink. never
before understood what men were
trying to do.
And finally the Annapolis cadets
have Aever settled the question
whether the man drinks his whisky
up or drinks It down.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1905-09-26
DUST PLAQUES OF CITIES.
Sweepings of the Streets a Formld-
able Foe to Health as We'll
as Comfort.

People who come down to their stores,
shops and offices each morning wonder
how it happens that such heavy accu-
mutation Of dust should confront them
on counters and desks and other furni
ture. II they pass in the night, says the
Boston Transcript and see the great
clouds that roll up and enter every ere
vice, the particles working their way
around even the closest joints. their won
der would disappear. Yet dust is a for
midable foe, not only to comfort, but to
health. 1t is freighted with all kinds OF
peril. 1t is the medium by means of
which the microbes of disease distribute
themselves. 1t provides the millions OF
wings upon which they fly to the points
OF least resistance
But the public streets are not the only
sources of discomfort and the public
sweepers are not the only offenders. The
housewives broom multiplied many
times is an evil. though necessary one
or at least it has been so. and the time is
now at hand when it is a force to be
dreaded more than ever. The house
cleaning season approaches. Not merely
the floors and carpets to which more or
less thorough attention is given from
day to day, but the whole household
comes in for its annual or semi-annual
attack. The accumulations of months
are to be disturbed and set in motion,
and fortunate is the household that can
escape the ordeal without anything
hoy fov al n
nerves.
Any triumph of invention that will
bring us nearer to dustless paradise is
to be fervently welcome. and it is graft
flying to know that such inventions are
not only among the potential features OF
progress, but are coming more and more
into practice and general use. What
blessings dustless streets. dustless
houses. dustless hotels and dustless
sleeping cars would be. And we can have
them. These cleansing devices will
doubtless. when perfected and generally
established, remove more dirt at less
cost than the armies Of leisurely street
sweapers that now crowd our cities. Ac-
cording to official figures the cities of
the country expend annually $40, O0O, 900
for STRENGTHENING, and even then they
are not kept clean. Yet some cities have
adopted device that 1t is claimed will
sprinkle, sweep, collect and carry away
under cover the dirt from 5000 square
feet of pavement an hour without dust.
These machines are of varying sizes and
capacities, some drawn by two horses,
some by three and some ct the motor
type representing many horsepower.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1905-09-26
BRICKS OF MOUND BUILDERS
Only Example Found in America
Taken from Wisconsin
Mounds.

In many respects Aztalan, in Wiscon-
sin, is among the most remarkable pre-
historic monuments in the northwest.
It is the only brick-walled townsite
found in this country. 1t is on the bot
tom land of the Crayfish river, about
two miles from Lake Mills. The in
closing walls of the townsite are about
700 feet on its tanks and 800 feet long.
The river served to complete the inclo-
sure of II acres of land, says Baraboo
correspondent of the Minneapolis Jour-
nal.
Within and without the Enclosure
there are round, truncated and oblong
mounds. Just beyond the inclosing
walls the land rises abruptly over 20
feet to the rolling tablelands of the sur
rounding country. From the bank
above a stone could be tossed into the
townsite, within the enclosure, which
would seem to be a good reason why this
enclosure, which has been called fort,
could not have been intended for de-
fence against any human enemy.
Along the brow of the higher land il
row of more than 13 round pyramidal
mounds ranging from three to twelve
feet in height. From the top Of these
mounds. or standing on the tableland,
an enemy could command the whole
townsite. It has always been conceded
that Aztasan was not enclosed for pur-
pose Of defence. 1t has been supposed
that it was walled for protection from
wild animals, though the enclosure has
never been high or abrupt enough since
it's discovery to keep out the panther,
wildcat, wolf, bear, moose or buffalo,
which were the only dangerous animals
of the woods hereabouts.
The purpose of its inhabitants in con-
structing this enclosure over a half mile
long still remains mystery. The most
remarkable art of Aztalan is its brick
walls and walks. In this it is singular
and alone, the only example of bricklay-
ing among all the monuments Of the
mound builders. These brick, or brick
let's, are not rectangular and regular in
form and size, as are the modern brick.
They are simply balls Of plastic clay
yielded by the hand into small bricklets
of irregular form about the average size
of SNOWFALL. The material used was
the glacial yellowish red clay of the vi
cinity, and the color of the bricks is red
or light yellow. Under the glass, scrap
ings appear like a handful Of crystal
sand.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1905-09-26
FLORA OF NEW ORLEANS.
In Winter Trees Do Not Die. But
Take On q Peculiar Drab
Appearance.

The visitor from the cold and bar
rem north cannot but be impressed
with the fora Of New Orleans, which is
green, and flourishing, even at this
time of the year. Although the plants
and trees do not become dead, as with
us, they take upon themselves, in
memory of winter, certain drabness,
says the New Orleans Censor.
There are many evergreen trees in
this part Of the south, among them the
pine, with its high crown and slender
stem, but the plant that will most inn
press the visitor from the north is the
beautiful cabbage palm, which grows
to height Of 30 feet, and has fronds
20 feet long, bending gracefully out
ward from the main stalk, which sell
dom reaches a height of mere than Is
or 20 feet. The banana is similar in
shape and style to the cabbage palm, but
by no means as beautiful.
The great uve-oak trees are nearly
everywhere, but they are by no means
as beautiful as the huge magnolia, an
other tree that is ever green. The
large leaves of this tree are very thick,
have a brilliant oily gloss, and are OF
the most vivid green. The live-oak.
while ever green, sheds its leaves once
year, as does its deciduous relative,
but in very different manner. The
new leaf thrusts itself out and pushes
the old leaf off and takes its place.
In the parks grows tree or shrub
called the sweet olive, which has the
sweetest, most delicious scent imasin-
able. Another great floral feature of
the city is kind of ivy which is q
thing Of wonderful vitality and beauty.
It has little glossy leaves as wildly
green as the leaves Of the magnolia,
and 1t covers wall Of anything to
which 1t attaches absolutely
not unevenly, but as smoothly and al.
most as dense1y as though the covering
were green carpet. 1t hugs the wall
tightly and is SO dense that you can
scarcely part it enough to see that to
which 1t attaches itself.
But thing which seems lacking here
II the beautiful and wildly green blue
grass Of the north. II it grows here at
all, 1t is as dead now as it would be
IN St Louis. Most of the lawns are
covered with a grass that seems to be
some kind Of a coarse jointed plant,
that does not grow thickly and evenly
like bluegrass.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1905-09-26
500 Reward, 500.

The readers of this paper will be pleased to
learn that there is at least one dreaded disease
that science has been able TO cure in all its
stages, and that is Catarrh. Halls Catarrh Cure
is the only positive cure now known to the
medical fraternity. Catarrh being constitu-
tional disease, requires a constitutional treat
ment Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally,
acting directly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces of the system, thereby destroying the
foundation of the disease, and giving the
patient strength by building uq the constitution;
an assisting nature in doing its work. The
prOprietors have so much faith in its curative
powers that they offer One Hundred Dollars fol
any case that it fails to cure. Send for list OF
testimonials
Address F. j. CHENEY & Co., Toledo, O.
Sold by all Druggists. 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1905-09-26
THE WEEKS WEATHER

Now that the winter season is draw
ing nearer the weather is accordingly
growing cooler and fall clothing is
being necessary. FroStS are more
common this week and the general
average of temperature is somewhat
cooler than it has been. The wind.
instead of blowing warm from the
south and east, now comes cold from
the north and west. A summary of
the past weeks weather conditions as
secured by q. S. Observer Edward
MahOney at the county building
station, are as follows:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1905-09-26
DATES TO REMEMBER

Wednesday, Sept. n.
The Nj. w. X. Club will meet with
s1rs. B. r. Goggins.
The west side ladies' aid society of
the Congregational church will
meet with Mrs. B. l.. Brown.
The west side ladies' aid society
of the M. e. church will meet with
Mrs. Greene.
The ladies' aid society of M. E.
church, east side, will meet
with Mrs. Fannie Thompson.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1905-09-26
Preserve Remains Of Forests.

In the matter of scientific forestry this
country, under the stress Of stern neces-
sity, Is making an energetic but sadly
be;ated effort to repair the consequences
Of a century's folly and extravaganza.
The loss can never be made entirely
good, but governmental effort and the
activity Of private interests, large and
small, can prevent such q national dis
aster as will certainly and speedily fol-
lew continued inroads upon the forests
With no attention given to renewing
them.-Cleveland Plain Dealar.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1905-09-26
station, are as follows:

AS will be seen. the coolest time
was on Monday night when the mer-
curry went down to 81 degrees, and a
hard frost resulted. The warmest day
was last Wednesday, when tempera-
ture rose to % degrees. Only one day
brought forth rain. That day was
Tuesday when three fifths of an inch
of rainfall was precipitated. All the
rest of the week has been clear.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1905-09-26
Bird Pest in Australia.

The English starlings introduced into
Australia from Europe have produced
much greater pest than the insects
they were expected to exterminate.
They destroy apples. cherries, figs,
grapes, etc., and unless they are exter-
minated, fruit growing will have to be
given up. They also drive out insect
eating birds like diamond birds tree
swallows, and tree creepers.-N. Y.
Post.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1905-09-26
Runpi1.f No Risk.

Hostess-Will you have brandy or
maple sugar sauce or. your plum pnd-
ding, Mr.. Smythe?
Mr.. Smythe-Ah-er-I'u have the
brandy sauce, II you please; maple syr-
up II 20 likely to be adulterated, you
know!-Detro!t Free Press.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1905-09-26
Improving an Old Phrase.

An English instructor in rather COM
prshensiye talk to the wise young wo-
men referred to the period that extends
from the cradle to the grave" Then
he stopped abruptly. mo" he went on.
chat is an obsolete phrase. There are
no more cradles and soon there will be
no more graves. The modern form
should be from the bassinet to the Gre
mAtory.'" IN. Y. Sun.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1905-09-26
Still in the Future.

Miss Ann Teek-Really, you know, Il
don't believe in a woman marrying her
drst love.
Miss snappe-Oh, don't be discour-
aged. Your first love win come along
Doma day.-Philadslphia Ledger.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1905-09-26
First publication Sept. &c. expires Nov. g.
DEPARTMENT OF THE INTERIOR,

LAND OFFICE AT WAUsAU, WISCONSIN.
September 25, 1905.
Notice is hereby given that the following
named settler has filed notice of his intention
to make final proof in support of his claim, and
that said proof will be made before Clerk OF
Circuit Court at Stevens Point, Wis, on Novem-
Der 10th 1905, viz Charley w Painter. of Grand
Rapids, Wis, who made homestead entry No.
1858 for the Lots 8 and of Sec. 4. Twp Il, K E.
He names the following witnesses to prove
his con tinuous residence upon and cultivation
of said land, viz
Rudolph Miller, Fred Miller, Henry Hahn,
John Timm all of Grand Rapids, Wis.
JOHN w MILLER, Register.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1905-09-26
MEN TO PATRONIZE

Dr.Chas. POmainville, Dentist, Office
In Pomainville block, West side.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1905-09-26

SWEEI IHINUS
are SO numerous here and every one
so delicious that it is difficult 10 select
any particular kind as being worthy
of special mention. There's an embar-
rasSment of riches. Every kind of
CONFECTIONERY
known to the maker and some which
are our own invention is here to de-
light the lovers of dainty, pure and
wholesome candies. The list of differ
ent flayors is almost as long as ones
arm.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-10-12
CAN'T ArIP IrsElr

Heart disease never grove better
Of itself Unless some thing o. done
o. assist ifH recovery. " Hili surely
lead ~ death. through some chronic
disorder which II has induced. or b.
sudden heart failure The very best
restorative known o. Or Miles.
Heart Cure which strengthens the
heart muscles mud nerves. ~ first
bottle fails to benefit. money hack
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-10-12
oo-FnJoY YouRsELF

You may travel. attend church, Or
places 81 amusement Without fear
~ headache. dizziness Hiek-htoWash,
nervousness or other distressing
symptoms n YOU viii take one or
two Df Miles Anti Pain PillH. They
never fail 30 remove every dlfaEfes-
able aYanpfnm. due 10 nervousness
o. excitement
20 doses. % cents. Nevsr sold In
bulk
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-10-12
At Ballard

The council committee Of the
whole will meet Friday night. The
engineers who have been sent out
To look al Ship street. between Main
and Spring. will report 20 the e0un-
al the cost Of improvement The
street has never been improved hnd
n great deal Of work In the way or
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-10-12

20 VIII bGY beaHufuf Gomez lot
taEiW Two Hooks from mes fhiuHsf
avenue ear line. II only requires g.
down.
$50 90 down 90 per month FOR Tot
ha1iOa one block from car line
to- 100 down. balance easy paNs
msntr faf lot CQxiza one block from
car line
q. 400 tifp down. balance ti6 per month
We Will build you a beautiful broom
cottage Ia all respects modern. put
~ porcelain tub. gas and siFrtftf
fixtures bath AID toilet. Hifs you =
lot Wsii4. one block from ear line
You cen plan aut details % house
yourself
8 - Small payment down balance
- per month for beautiful Groom
cottage. 3 lots MatM each. house has
cement foundation. Gas ard electric
fixtures modern nluuhlnE aud f.
only two blocks from car tine.
TWOHONEH a @
Main ik4i 0n Oriental A "a
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-10-12

grading and sldesaikinE viii have
to be done.
The tax levy for the coming year
will also be discussed. aa wei 80
the claims Of the people who have
paid grade taxes.
A great deal Of trouble f. being
experienced over the proposed alley
way which was 70 have been put n
on MOhr street Nearly all the peo-
pie are Vlliing % submit 10 the
ruling Of the coupell and give up
the grouna IN the front II IL help
ing the people out q great deal u
they could only realize the fact, for
they are getting 70 feet Instead
Of ~.
George Dryer. commonly known
as The Vegetable Man" IL now
lying al his home dangerously I'll
with typhoid fever. lie Is not ex-
peeted 20 live through the day
John Anderson. 40. n iabOrer n
Ballard was arrested Wednesday
night and will be taken 20 Seattle 70
The county Jail 10 be tried on n
charge ~ insanity About midnight
Wednesday. when everything was
quiet and the peaceful God-fearing
populnce Of Ballard were taking
their much needed rest. sounn
broke out upon the midnight air
akin 10 an approaching band Of
eyanRe' lists The saiOonkeepera
came 10 their front doors anil looked
10 see where the noise was coming
from. They saw a lone pedestrian
coming up Ballard avenue. throw
Ing bis hat IN the air and singing
Glory Hailelujah"
He dropped his hat on the ground
and with barred head and
we devils" he cried. Il will not
be eaten alive by dogs and ! viii
not have the money ye offer me for
killing them. Gentlemen, hear mo
out"
officer Nelson placed him under
arrest
Anderson was taken 10 the police
station. where he sang from the
time be WAS put In the jail until II
O'Clock Thursday noon.
Anderson was an employe OF the
Seattle Electric company. He IL a
married man. and when his wife
heard Of his arrest she gave orders
70 hold him, as she wished 20 make
some charges against him.
He has been arrested several
times before on charge OF drunken
ness.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-10-12

| ARE ANY Of
YOUR teeth
MISSING?
A Seattle Woman Tells What
AlvsoiAr Dentistry Did for Her.
Would Net Take 1900 for Her
Teeth Nov. This Lady Has
Only Mine Teeth All Told IN
Upper and Lower Jaws. Al
Vsoisr Dentists Gave Hsr a
Full Set Of Teeth Without the
Use 81 Plates or Bridge Work.
Seattle. Sept 4. 1905
Aivsolar Dentists. s07iA Pike 81.
Gentlemen I Wish 20 con
graduate you upon your diseoy-
cry Of replacing lost teeth.
would not take 81 coo for my
teeth that YOU gave ms. Words
are inadequate 20 express my
appreciation ana gratitude for
what you did for me. for before
receiving treatment If your par
lore l was run down IN health.
could not eat and vas generally
discouraged. Nov I feel like a
new woman. having been fully
restored 90 health. and am able
10 enjoy my iife's work a. an
artist
You may publish this or do
a. yuu wish for 1 certainly be-
liers II my duty 10 suffering hui
manifY 20 advise them where
they can find relief / vent TO
you IS "a last resort. skeptieai
and full Of doubt. and you not
only did oil you promised. but
convinced me that your work IL
an art and should rank aa such.
With best wishes for your
continued success. am.
Sincerely yours.
MRS NJ. WALKER
AIRS. sWEASY. ABERDEEN.
How much more satisfactory IL
this than having your mouth en-
cumbsred BY q lot q useless. ir-
ritatInE. unhealthfui material.
How much better II r. 10 have
your teeth ua they should be
10 feel natural and look natural
ard give you no annoyance or
distress and be clean. wholesome
and comfortable all the tlmei
Go 60 AiKeoiar Dentists With
any trouble you may have with
your teeth. mouth or gums. They
vii be glad 20 talk with you
and give you the benefit Of their
advice free OF charge. They
make no charge for examination
or consultation. and their fees
are very moderate. notwlth-
standing the fact that their nefv-
ices are the most skilled you are
able TO obtain anywhere. The
reason for this IL that their hus-
iness 10 well Rystematixed and
conducted strictly on business
principles. ALL WORK GUAR
ANTEED.
Hours a. m. 60 . p. m. sun
days 30 a. M. 60 =. IN.
| Ohio Dental PdrlOrS
so7is Pike ST.. cor. Third Avenue. .
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1905-10-12
Fer s.l.--R..i nsists

ARE you looking Tor fine home. new
modern and up 20 date ~ every par
ueulaz q foe corner streets
paved You can set this Tor iess
than you can huy the lot and build
for Now don't waists any time n
you want . snap. rhls T. one u the
best residence districts ~ the city
Nov II you haven't all u the money
necessary To huy one we can awe
yea terms Foe price ana fuil par.
ueulafH cali At our office
We have nss modern ia-roon house
sold We viii sell you this property
Tot t&s lees than u cost 1gd We viii
kte YOU choice % paving ali cash o.
PEI rs m9s.s, 'n 81 :. a.. o s .lsa ~. Nh
property has a good view of has that
cauuot be shut of Sp~ "a place
90 tgn paying a profit the owner
A good s-rsom house With bath rtKht
On car line. for g. -. 100 cash. BAL
anes On sssF lsFfns This property IL
within two blocks OF school ard 10
appreciate q yau must see a.
r. { biEfts a CO. r. Arcade.
CAPITOL HILL LOTS
CAPITOL hill LOTS
ons block frgfn paved street. for 400
tasef 7is Sac sy1i0s "a ie-fuat siisy
With graded streets and esinsHt side
walks
Salesman on ths ground get of Capt.
toi Htil car a. Aloha street and 10
east 70 the white Office
One acre IN garden With ne~ modern
f-rnatn house, city water, OF car line
Price o po9 ~ cash. balance mouth-
New t-foom cottage let ssstH fine
vtau Price gHiF O. 100. tss cash
taiaues monthly.
H = TURNER ISvEsTMENT CO
sGas@ Lumber Exchange
Phones Main l9s. Ind tat
G. d. Mllimaa sells more suburban
szrss and lots and helps more peos
people % get homes than any five
firms In Seattle. keeauss he sells
cheaper and ga easier terms thar
anfaus else Come cut today or to
mefHuw ard srs Atiahtiu CITY Adj.
tien. right an the lake front On this
aide % Lake Washington Take
Washington street ear. t-esat fare
b. huyins book u tickets Twenty
statesmen are 81 Atlantic City store
unfil all tie lots ere sold Sever
sHaih can you buf isks front 90
eksap or cali al q - Hiilman .
aoxn town offices Ia the Times
hiRek
Hs6ssiy VS. sa1sr. a;agns Is our
are : seed customer fer iifs as ws
vii make ypa money. Come today
We are The owners