Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1905-12-29

/ 60 Cd %
Short

A city man was showing a country
cousin through the metropolitan Mu-
scum. "See that bunch of old Egyp-
tian coins over there, Reub?" he said.
pointing at one Of the showcases;
"well every one of those coins Is over
three thousand years old" "Quit yer
kiddin'," retorted the countryman.
"Why, It's only 1905 now!
Think" said the teacher, "of a lit
tie creature that wriggles about In the
earth and sometimes comes to the top
through a tiny hole" "A worm," said
a small boy. Yes" said the teacher;
NOW think of another little creature
that wriggles about in the earth and
comes to the top through a small
hole" Another worm"' shouted the
youngster in triumph.
The following incident occurred in a
barber shop: A man who was getting
shaved suddenly uttered a loud oath.
Hang you" he exclaimed. "You'ce
cut my chin twice now. If you can't
shave better than this, every regular
customer will leave you" But the
young barber pushed the mans head
back on the velvet rest, and laughed.
"Oh, no. he said, mo fear Of that.
I'm not allowed to shave regular GUS
toners yet. I only shave strangers"
DR.. William Osler recently recited a
quaint old cure for govt: First, pick
a handkerchief from the pocket Of a
spinster who wished to wed;
second, wash the handkerchief in an
honest miller's pond; third, dry it on
the hedge Of a person who never was
covetous; fourth, send it to the shop of
a physician who never killed a patient;
fifth, mark it with a lawyers ink who
never cheated a client; and, sixth, ap-
ply 1t, hot, to the gout-tormented part
A speedy cure must follow
A grim tale, showing the guile of the
Spencer, a prominent criminal attor.
ney Of Napa, received a call from a
Chinese, who, without circumlocution
at once put this question: "Splose
My. Spencer, one Chinaman kill moth
err Chinaman With Ratchet. How much
you enlarge make him clear?" "Oh,'
said the lawyer carelessly, I'D take
the case for $500" In about a weeL
the Chinaman returned and laid the
sun Of $500 on Mr.. Spencer's desk
whats this for?" asked the lawyer
you say you take case for $780," ex
planned the Oriental. A light burs'
upon Mr.. Spencer. Mortified, he ex
claimed: "You mean to tell me tina,
since l saw you last one of your coun
trymen has been killed?" "Certlain
ly," calmly answered the Chinaman
II kill him last night"
Among the hills of Sligo there is {
small lake renowned in that region fol
1t fabulous depth. A well-known pro
lessor, travelling in that part Of Ire
land, was asked by his native guide Il
he would like to see the lake. Its NJ
bottom at all, sor," said Pat. "Hov
do you know that?" asked the profes
sor. well, sorr, me own cousin wa!
showin' the pond to a gentleman on,
day, sor, and he looked incredulou!
like, just as you do, and me cousin
couldn't stand it for him to doubt hi.
word, SORT, and so he said, I'll prove
the truth of me Words he said, ant
off with his clothes and into the water
he jumped. Yes, sorr, in he jumped
and didn't come up again, at all, al
ALL" But" said the professor, 81 dom
see that he proved the point by drown
ing himself" us it drowned? Dlyi
a bit drowned at all he was. Sure
didn't a cable come from him next day
in America askin' for his clothes to be
sem onv'