Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1905-06-24
HOW MATTE PROVIDED A
DINNER.

in an "agh!''-one blessed afternoon re-
ceived a note from a Lowland cousin, to
intimate that he would honor him with Il
call, in company with an English gentle
man. Aware that the Highland mansion
was remote from towns" the self
invited guest prudently apprised his kins
man of the intended visit in order that
ample time might be afforded the High
land chief TO put his house in order.
Alas! "publics" were numerous on his
Ioute-and the gilly who bore the letter
stopped so frequently to refresh himself
that instead of arriving the day before,
he scarcely managed to anticipate by an
hour the coming of the guest whose adj
vent he had been dispatched to notify.
Never had CraigdaTagh been in a state
of more lamentable exhaustion. The lar
der WAS utterly cleaned out, and there
were no supplies to be Immediately OBJ
tanned, for the Highlands are not a land
of Goshen. Had that accmsed courier
not been afflicted with an unquenchable
thirst and consumed sixteen hours in
drunken sleep upon the heather all would
have been as it ought to be. The miller
would have netted his dam and secured
last night have been dangling from a
beam in the barnard heaven only
knows what other culinary operations
might not have been cunningly devised
ay, and as happily executed
Matte, Matte, a must be left to
yourself. and the Lord direct We, for
Gamma said the unhappy owner of Craig
darragh, with a groan. to his cook, who
was sobbing bitterly beside him. It's
sair visitation that has cam DER us.
But do yer best, woman; do yer best
Preserve us! here they are" and out ran
the laird i'll desperate tribulation to bid
his kinsman and the stranger welcome.
What Matte said and did is not par
ticularly recorded; but, at the proper
time. dinner, far more respectable than
the laird had ventured to expect, was
duly served up-and, to cover its de-
fieieneies, the bottle obtained a more
rapid circulation. The evening wore
nlerrily on again and again the teddy
bowl was emptied and repenished, until
the Englisilman, totaiiy oyerpowered,
dropped upon the carpet, and the laird of
Craigdarragh, had he been in Falstaff's
vein, might have exclaimed to his hench-
man, Garry Master Slender to bed"
Undisturbed by the carouse that had de-
molished the stranger, the Highlanders
continued their rotations, and the Laird
of Craigdarragh, after abiding to the
alarm of the morning, passed glowing
eulogy on Matte as the paragon of
cooks and summoned her to the presence.
Matte, woman, We did it fine!"
''Weel, Craigdarragh-Pm glad l
pleased We. Lairds, a health apiece to We
And hoo was a liked that l sent upg''
The beef raw sunco' salt replied the
host.
An the troep hard as the deirs
horns" added his companion. How the
plague the Englishcr managed it | dinna
ken, for on the wee bit | tried my teeth
had nae mair effect than they would on
the ben leather that heels my brogues."
"Weel," returned Matte Il didna ex-
pcct the treep would have been over saft.
But as naebody but the Englisher
touched it, I'll jist tell We a about the
thing. Laird, do We mind the time when
We went to the south to coort the leddie
with the great tocher?"
Il mind it weel It's an auld story
moo, Matte"
"Ahl Laird, We wer' too slow in whis-
pering into the soft side o. her lug, an
the Irish captain gat her clane aft, money
an a.. He was over gleg in the tongue
for ye," said the housekeeper.
he allusion to the lost heiress was
touching the laird upon tender point.
He wouidna nave been to gleg at the
han for me, Matte, had | kennel that he
intend to pity my nose cot o. Joint. But
what the dell has this to do with a dish
o. tough treep smithered in inians :"
A in guide time, Laird" returned the
Leonora of Craigdarragh. You took
puir Watty. that's dead and game. WI
We. as valet; an to be in the southron
fashion, clapped leather breeks upon
eratur's hurdles, that never had ony
tighter thing upon them than a kilt
Och! what puir Watty suffered He had
never the use o. his limbs right after
wards. He used to say .lat when he
passed a Gallant that was steekit in the
stocks, he could ma but envy him, and
offer if he would pit his hurdles in the
breeks, that Watty would stick his
shanlls into the woodie"
But what's a this aud warld tale
ABBOTT, Mattie?"
'dJist haze patience, Laird. The feathers
haze hangit since on peg behind the
spence door, vi set o worn out bag
pipes--and sair shame it was to see
breeks hangin' in an Heilanman's. Weel.
in my distress, / thought l might turn
the one or the ither till account. | tried
Sandy Anderson's auld bag, but the
leather was hard as coos foot. and sac
in despair l took the left leg aft Watty's
brooches. Och! Laird-if | had had
mair time til soak the leather, the treep
would have eaten fine Celtic Monthly.