The Black Hills union and western stock review. [volume] (Rapid City, S.D.) 1904-19??, 1905-06-09
AT THE TELEPHONE.

ways alluueQ lO-nAu hlHu Y l d htehiA
quarter Of an hour the other after
noon.
A telephone was recently installed in
the dining room Of his home. AS a
young one with a new toy, his wife im-
mediately got busy with the telephone.
Of course, and spent a good part OF the
day In calling up women folk OF her
acquaintance to tell them that they
were looking well and to ask them II
they We're going to a k in the bargain
muslin sale, and so on.
The man got home a bit early the
other afternoon. and his wife didn't
hear him enter the house because she
was at the telephone. He didn't want
to break in on her enjoyment, so he
pumped himself onto a couch In the
room Off the dining room to wait until
she had finished her conversation over
the wire. Very soon. however. ~ ound
himself sitting up straight. FRI. that
he fell to pacing ~nervously up and down
the rug and biting his nails and mop
ping his suddenly moist forehead.
1t was his wife's wire monologue that
caused him to do these things. The
fragments of her talk that he caught
were something like the following:
And you say that the dead little love
is looking we'll today? l am so glad!
l knew tina you would take the best of
care of the precious. else. or course.
should never have entrusted him to
you. IL MS appetite Sppu ' S'J
good did you say? Well. the darling $
Surroundings are OF course so new to
him that his appetite is bound to be
affected for a time, Is 1t not?
The man in the next room was mus
sing up his hair a lot by this time. and
there was a visible throbbing In his
temples.
Il do wish you'd be careful to see
that his milk is just the right temper
ature before giving it to him. went on
the mans wife at the phone. He Is
SO hnical about the temperature of his
milk, the love! He will sniff at 1t and
utterly refuse 1t If it is chilly. and he
won't even ook at it II he finds out 1t
is too warm. Just about tepid Is the
way the angel enjoys 1t most. That's
the way you've been giving 1t to him
you say? I'm so glad! Oh. l was told
before taking him to you. that you were
so considerate and tender in the way
you handle the poor little orphans!'
"Oh, ! guess she hasn't got a hold-out
on mel just guess l haven't been
made a monkey Of" the man In the
next room was gurgling to himself by
this time.
And l know thai you Will be so care
full with the poor little pettie's baths"
continued the, mans wife at the tele-
phone. He is very freakish about his
bathing, the dear! If the water Is the
least bit chilly he almost has a TIT. and
. OllCe "lltil L DilliNu mn ~ N"'S 'HAS
wasn't quite warm enough to suit MS
majesty the resentful little dear quite
refused to even so much as notice me
for two hole days afterward! And
you won't forget to battle him only
with the soap | left with you, will you,
please? He is used to the scent of that
soap, and likes it SO much, the brown
! eyed cutey, and ! wouldn't have his
little sensibilities hurt, as they would
be if they were washed with any other
kind of soap, for anything in this
world" ~
'Brown eyed cutey, hey?" muttered
the husband in the next room, tuggins
ferociously at his mustache. We'll,
: maybe Irhaven't been a good thing!'
well, l guess that's all his wife
I at the phone continued. only DO DC
l careful in combing the loves hair
: won't you? He does so hate to have
| his hair combed with even a suggestion
of roughness. But ! know that you viii
be careful. 1 shall be down to see hin
: In a day or SO. Just tell the itsy
. bitsy sing thai he mamm been askin
bout him, the gooksy-wooksy dear
Goodby. So much obliged to you FOL
taking such nice care Of him"
And then she hung up the receiver
, and tripped lightly into the room wher'
her husband was striding up and dow1
; and grinding a path in the rug VIII
[ his heels. She rushed up to him will
OpcIl a. llS aIN d" 49, ~ '>' .
$ didn't hear you come in" but with
, heavy scowl he waved her aside.
Il know blamed we'll that you didn'
hear me come in. madam" he said t
{ her in a sepulchral voice. IF you
i heard me come in you wouldn't hav
f given yourself away In that fashlon a
the telephone"
She gazed at him with an utterl
i mystitied expression.
~ Now, What in the wide world ca
: the man mean?" she inquired of hel
: self, with a finger at her lip. Il wa
4 only
y ooh, you might just as well com
=. out and put me next to the whole stor
:. now" her husband interrupted he
- There's no chance in life for you I
fool me any longer. ! heard your who
a talk at the phone. But I'll just TAX
~ the liberty to ask you a straight que:
ton, madam, If you please. DO yo
"a think 1t was treating me square
marry me and not say a word TO n
"a beforehand about your having a youn
~ one? Not that I'd have objected in tt
= least. Laura he maundered on. OBJ
- do you think for a minute 1t was an.
"a where near on the level for you
nj keep so important a fact as that fro
mt me?"
d. There wasn't any chance for him
r. get any farther than that, for his WI
was rolling around on the couch in
n veritable ecstasy Of laughter. She ROLF
C. and rocked and swayed in her mirt
ut and her hairpins fell out and her bron
al hair tumbled all over her shouldel
Id. but she couldn't stop laughing.
by Having a swell time Of it by 70
lonesome, eh?" her husband growle
IN, GO ahead. Enjoy yourself. Funny
the dickens. isn't it. to've fim-tiam
lat your husband in that fashion? O
d. don't mind me-laugh till you blu
Its blame it."
ed Whereupon she went off into anoth
ar series Of joyous shrieks. and only co
We trived to get herself together and
re- shape to talk when she saw him in t
re- act of grabbing his hat to rush out
ply the house.
be She was able to hold herself in 10
re- enough to remind him that she h
taken their beloved Japanese. spaniel
m the dog Doctors establishment
for treatment for distemper On the aft
iol loon beforehand then she was
IKE again.
or He had to agree to stake her tt
evening to the SWEETEST dinner to
airy purchased for money in Washingt
on condition that she'd never brea'
es- a word of it as long as she lived. 5
nat got the dinner, and. Of course,
by hasn't said a word about 1t.
~-
eue The First Time.
s IJorrar'a Ravnr. Tha confusion