Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1905-05-02
In Search of the Soul
Wierd t ale o f Sureic a / o p Ell at o
by Young Physician
BY DR.. c. E. HUBAND

is 1lODAND
$50 So A* = 80 *s+ -
1t Is an instrument in shape after the
style Of an auger, for cutting button
shaped piece out of the skull. This
once done in the region of tho meal
gland. and that sacred little organ
would be exposed to view, and then
De Lord massey, doctor, how does
We spect to git me together agin, and
how does We spect to do all dat with
out using crowbars, jack screws an a
monkey wrench or two?"
"Oh, as matter of fact we would
have to use little force, but the in
struments would not be quite so crude
as the ones you mention. A corps OF
eminent physicians would be present,
and can assure you that every pre-
caution would be taken not to entirely
break loose the lower jaw"
Say, DOCTOR ccems tine OATS a
powerful big operashun for one man
to go through at one sittin'"
well, yes, it does border on a CAPT
tai operation" fsds
: Seems tine dat dis here would be
capital punishment in de first degree.
Does yet think der's. any danger of
pryin' my jaw bone loose? How would
eat without any teeth?"
"Oh. that will be an easy matter to
remedy. We s-ill make arrangements
with a dentist to supply you with a
full set of upper ard lower teeth, and
they will be more beautiful than the
ones you now possess.
We'll, doctor, you speaks of cuttin'
through my cheeks on both sides, will
that"
Eyes, that will be necessary in or.
der to,-but that is of trivial import
a1ce as those incisions can be nicely
appropriated by a few stitches"
well, doctor, if I submits to that
operashun, what might spects to git
from it?"
why, the honor, of being the great
est hero Of the present century"
Don't you thinks \ man ought to be
pretty well paid fur his time anu de
danger OBJ de operashun?"
Certainly, then what do you FAY to
$4,000 and new set of teeth, together
with medical care"
well, If there'll be plenty OBJ gold
film In the teeth. guess I'll let you
undertake de job.
Zone of the teeth shall be crowned
and two others shall have nice filings
in front to give them natural appear.
ance."
Then, | spects Ise ready to report
any time We wants me. But spose I
dies, who gifts dem teeth-and de
money!"
o., In that case, vim
The patient was prepared the next
week at the Sims private hospital for
the most heroic operation ever per-
formed upon a living subject Many
eminent men from New York and Phil
adelpAla were present. Considerable
difficulty was experienced however in
securing the necessary help; as most
OF those asked declined, stating that
they did not wish the blood of the
operation upon their hands.
When laid before them in true
scientific light, several condescended
to give their attention to tie work.
A dentist was selected who had rep
utation OF being most rapid extract
or, for 1t was the consensus of opinion
that such an operation had to be done
with the greatest possible dispatch.
The anesthetic was administered
with the greatest care I never before
saw physicians betray such adeptness
as they did, upon this occasion. They
all seemed to move as If they were
e mated by supernatural lover.
AS the anesthetist pronounced the
subject ready" each man took his
place and all became silent. The
n {o1r
The first step was to remove the
teeth. This was accomplished with
the most exacs nicely, but there was
a good deal Of hemorrhage, which OBJ
structed the field of vision materially
The rest of the work proceeded nicely
except that two of our assistants had
slight attacks of syncope. This oc.
CURED just after making the lateral
tincisions in the face The incisions
were carried back to the ears and no
difficulty was experienced in placing
the lower JAZZ upon the breast bone.
The rest of the operation was ex.
ceedingly difficult and tedious, and
was much prolonged on account of
having to remove the chloroform in
order for the operator to work. Dur
ing these intervals the patient awak.
ened three times, and we experienced
great difficulty in keeping him upon
the table. He seemed to hurl epithets
at US in every language under the
sun but We were unable to understand
single thing he was saying.
The work Of removing the palatal
bones was finally accomplished, and
then followed quickly the button.
shaped piece from the base of the
skull. The pineal gland lay before
our eyes. There was an intense ST
lence and expectantly we leaned for.
ward.
We saw a small, round body of a
pinkish gray color and semi-trans.
parent nature. But where was the
soul? The operation like many other
hazardous undertakings in which
much responsibility is involved was a
great success but the results Of the
investigation was sadly negative.
"And now / have philosophy, medi
cine and jurisprudence, too;
And theology, with ardent labors
j. have studied through
And here stand in all my lore. poor