The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-01-06
PECK'SBAD BOYABROAD1
He Writes the Old Grcceryman About Paris.-DAd Al
 most Fights Duel-He is Arrested Good Deal.

ing up and down. flirting like sin. and we sat down to a table end ordereo things to eat and drink, and dad looked like Uncle Sam. and felt his oats.
 When he had drank a few thimbie- fuls of absinthe, and some champagne. and eat a plateful of frogs, he was just ripe for trouble. A woman and man at an adjoining table had one Of these white dogs that is sheared like a hedge fence, with spots of long hair left on in places. and dad coaxed the dog ov- CT to our table and began to feed niID frogs legs, and the woman began 10 talk French out loud. and look cross at dad, and the count that was with her came over to our table and looked at dad in a tone of voice that meant trouble, and said something sassy. and the guide said the man wanted to fight a duel because dad had coitamtnateo the woman's dog. and dad got mad and offered to wipe out the wtole place. and he got up with a champagne bot- tie and looked defiance at the count. and the walters began to scatter, when the woman came up to dad and beg ged him not to hurt the count, and az she spoke broken, English dad could understand her, and she looked so beautiful. and her eyes were filled with tears. and dad relented and said Don't cry. dear, I won't hurt the lit- tie runt." She was so glad dad was not going to kill the count that she threw herself into his arms and thanked dear America for producing such a grand citizen, such n brave man as dad, who could forego the pleasure of killing a poor, weak man who had insulted him. particularly as dads wild Indian ancestry made it hard for him to refrain from blood. X
 We'll. dads face was a study. as he braced up and held that 150 pounds of white meat in his arms, with all the people looking on, and he seemed proud and heroic, and he stroked her hair and told her not to worry. and finally she hied herself away from dad and the count took her away, and they went up the bullyvard. and after all was quiet again dad said: Hen nery, let this be lesson to you. When you are tempted to commit a rash act and avenge an insult in blood. stop and think of the sorrow and shame that will come to you if you draw your gun too quick, and have a widow on your hands as the result. Suppose had killed that shrimp, the face of his wid- ow would have haunted me always. and I would have wanted to die. Don't ever kill anybody, my boy. If you can settle a dispute by shaking the dice"
 We'll, dad ordered some more wine. and as he drank 1t, he allowed the pop ulace to admire him and say things about the great American millionaire. who spent money like water and was too brave to fight. Then dad called for his check to pay his bill. and when he felt in his pocket for his roll Of bills, he hadn't a nickel and the wonn- an. when she was in his arms, wedding with one hand. had gone through dads pockets with the other. Dad felt for his watch, to see what time it was, and his watch was gone, and the waiter was waiting for the money and dad tried to explain that he had been bun coed. and the head waiter came and begun to act sassy, and then they called a policeman to stay by us till the money was produced, and every. body at the other tables laughed, and dad turned blue. and I thought he would have fit. Finally, the guide began to talk. and the result was that Q policeman went home with us, and dad found money enough to pay the bill, but he talked language that caused the land-lady to ask us to find a new place.
 The next morning the guide showed up with an officer who had a warrant for dad for hugging a woman in 8 public cafe, and 1t seemed as though we were in for it, but the guide said he could settle the whole business by paying the officer $20, and dad paid it and I think the guide and the officer divided the money. Say, this is the greatest town we have struck yet for excitement. and guess dad will not have a chance to think of his sickness.
 This morning we went in1o big department store. and, by gosh, we found the count that dad was going to fight. was a floor walker, and the countess was behind a counter selling soap. When dad saw the count leer- pistor pocket and yelled a regular cowv boy yell, and the count rushed down into the basement the soap countess fainted, and the police took dad to the police station, and all day the guide and have been trying to get him out on bail. If we get dad out of this we are going to put a muzzle on him. Well, if anyone asks you if I am hav- ing much of time abroad, you can tell them the particulars.
 P. S.--We got dad out for $20 and costs. and he says he will blow Paris up before night. We are going up to the top of the Eiffel tower this after noon, to count our money, as dad das- sent take out his pocketbook anywhere on the ground for fear of being rob bed.
 Yours full of frogs,