The Glenwood post., 1905-04-29
hR. DOOLEY ON
EDUCATION

ley. lt nave 10 De SO lntllllReDC.
Who's in throuble nowY'' asked
MIR. Hennessy.
Me frind, tn piisidint iv Har-
ward" said Mr.. Dooley. Hes very
sad. l thought tn wurruld was goin
on splindidly. Firm day to day tn
weather has been pretty good, barrin
occasional rain. Th' coal sthrike is
over an well all have plinty iv coal
this winter if tn watchman don t
look out TIL people ar-round me
ar re pretty good folks whin they don
crowd. They re as happy as they de-
sarve to be an as good to each other
as they ought to to be. l amt dis
continted with tn wurruld an | ain t
sad an l think ivrything will come
out all right in tn end or nearly
right or wrong or some way But
not so with me frind tn prisidint iv
Harvard. Where you an me, Hin
Missy, with our little kan three
eights intelligence sees nawthin but
good enough, tn prisidint iv Harvard
beholds blue an mournful situation.
Th wurruld is on tn blink. Things
amt comm out right We're all
going to tn divvle an no wan to
hinder. It's bad, wicked card
playin, novel readin' booze -consum-
in, wife batin, laughin' odyous
wurruld. An what's tn raison FIR
it2 lddycationl Iddycation, be hiv-
ems. Tn common schools has put iv-
rything to rh' bad.
II as lookin' at his speech th other
day an it made me feel as diseased as
if I'd been readin' book iv fam ly
med cine. Il am obliged, he says.
to inform ye, he says, that tn good
we EXPECTED firm pop lar iddycation
hasnt come Off, he says. 4 will
proceed, he says, to tn unwelcome
but agreeable task iv tellin' ye about
it, he says.
"'1n tn first place, FIR more thin
two gin rations we have been sthrug
glin with tn barb rous if jolly vice
iv drunkenness, which nobody can
deny, which nobody can deny. | ex-
picted all along that a knowledge iv
joggerphy an compound numbers wud
f'river rid tn wurruld iv this curse
that has come upon us lately an that
was unknown in tn Plymouth gin ra
tion. daughter. But not at all. TIL
fact that man can bound Zambesi
an dig up tn square root iv ten don t
seem to have subjooed tn horrid crav
in FIR tn fghtin' mixtures. Thous-
ands iv men who have declined verb
have niver declined bowl. Th'
amount iv liquor that is ivry year
pushed into TIL few rish head iv per
sons who know about fractions an tn
use iv shall" and 'will'' is enough
to dhrive an iddycator to drink.
80 i leap to another cause iv tn
dumps. Gamblin'. Gamblin is a
new vice. niver heerd iv it befure
| wint to Harvard. But such a holt
has it took on this poor land iv ours
through tn assistance iv pop lar iddy
eaton, that today in ivry hamlet tn
click iv tn poker check is tn re
sponse to tn clang iv tn school bell
Little boys dart from tn blackboard
to tn horrid chalked circle in tn
schoolyard where they play mibs FIR
keeps while their mothers gamble al
cribbage f'r penny pint an their
fathers set up all night thryin to fill
tn busted flush. But in vain.
6" now pass to novels, which
make me mos depressed. l had hoped
in tn halcyon days iv me youth that
whin we had piped our people full iv
quadhratic equations they wud read
on y tn best books, e. g., "Gloom,
by Charles w. Eliot, Despair, be
C. W. Eliet, an ''Eliot on Wasted
Opportunities. On tn conthry,
they seem to be PLACED with Billy
Baxter. 1t is too bad.
Again I am rayjooced 20 tears
be what amuses people. Wan iv tn
worst things that can happen to a
people is to be aisiy amused. Iddy
cation has made us too ticklish. We
stop to hear band play in tn
snreet, go to variety shows, an
laugh at jokes. 1t is dhreadful to
think iv. Laughter shud be used
sparingly. People shud on'y be
amused be seeryous things. | am
amusin'. So is scenery. have not
laughed since l see Pixies Peak
But why go onf lddycation is II
failure. 1t hasn t suppressed sthrikes,
it hasn't previnted people firm losin
their tempers, it hasn't subiooced
their passions an worst iv all it
hasn' made thin sad. 1t S IA failure,
| looked forward to tn day whin
gin raj iddycation iv tn masses wud
give all tn wurruld crouch; whin
tn eye iv youth wud be bedimmed be
tear an tn brow iv age cracked in
seams he milanchOly. whin laughter