davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1905-12-29
GO, il OF Her Mind.

Tones (which isn't his nsme) ook
tbe little daughter OF friend TO
matinee at the Hippodrome the other
day. They had just reached Their
saats when the young lady. 10 her
best society manner. said:
THANK you very much. M. Jones.
for a very pleasant afternoon.
Then having unburdened her mind
Il Eor mothers injunction 10 be -
lite. she PUMPED down in her seat
and enjoyed The show IS only littie
pfrf csn.-Detroit News
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1905-12-29

An English butler who commiied
suicide len for a.s emr'oyet note
in which be said. i should laYe
gone 10 better world lasi pighl
ONLY THE being vour e home cay '
,iursstt you'd Hail until tonight.
: hors vcu zlii hnd everything al
riztt = tse rs---7
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1905-12-29
FOR HEAD OF ARMY.
General John e. Bates. Who VIII
soon succeed Cbnffce.

Major General John G, Bates, who
will become lieutenant general on the
retirement I'm February Of General
Chaaee. is a civil war veteran. baeh'
elor and sixty-tbree years Of age. Ills
experience in lighting is quite extern
slve. During the civil war he was IN
many Of ;hc bloodiest engagements
and wasson Meade's staff from the
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1905-12-29

fhefs Is railway over me hssi-
nan desert which rnns for forty-iive
miles in a straight line. out TINS y
aten BIS one in Australia. ne rai-
way from Nyneau to Boarke. 10 Nc"
south Wales. runs over a plain qills
lsTeI for tgs miles fh 2 usatheniaticai-
r sfraizht lf5e there e hardly sa
snba1t1ent. no. cns-cotTs I'D c.ly
.h-se -s-v slssst elevators -
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1905-12-29

sstructlon of the frlgate Constitution.
The hiiik Of odd Ironsides'' has been
for mauy years IN the Charlestown
navy ward, Boston, and as no funds ex-
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1905-12-29

suase the thirst &c used u be slcn7
der. and good living has made his fig
IRE resemble that Of Falstad.
Another monarch Of Europe who rs
fond Of lining well is King Leopold Of
Belgium he. too. is partial 70 the
French and their ways Of cooking. aud,
though his business Is supposed T. be
the governing Of The little country, OF
Belgium. lle Is said 70 spesd most OF
lis Iue IN Iars. where be nnds HE
moe exciting iban ia MS own capital.
The king Is noted for bis eccentricities.
and he likes to Kill time IA the com
pany Of clever people Of The stage. II
Is limited that at home when his wife
was alive the royal table was none OF
The best. but now II Is no uncommon
hing for King Leopold q spend rs
much as SO for q meat 40 Paris no
tel. especially II some f3otHght lavorite
is one Of the guests.
DON'T GIVE UP The SHIP
4s-s sts 4 H--Sss ss-f .e-srs-~- = 49,
stuirs7r - -s"z@ ,s=~fFE
r-c y il5-|.-
/ q Vi g:ots.- a5s- - le L q
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1905-12-29

The big -Four viii run their through
srsirs Nos. and Sundays. Deem
te- p ana 81 satne Schedule az week
darr % acco11o3ate holiday t.aTei-
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1905-12-29
e,.,. This On the Kitchen Clock.

Paste This or the hItcntn CLOCK
a hobsful dis ositiOf1; said Uncle
Fben lis Z great f1es=in' till'a man
eiis ter dspsnsin intirfiT on It to see
~ e -s-.s rid --Tzshing.cn
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
WHAT MEN DID AFTER FORTY.
Falsity of Dr. Osler's Rash Statement
 Is Demonstrated.

Beginning with Demosthenes, we find that the great Athenian delivered his oratorical masterpieces-the ora tions "On the Crown"-at 54.
 Aristotle did his greatest work after 50, and Plato after 55.
 Chaucer wrote the "Canterbury Tales" and other famous works aft CT 40.
 Spinoza wrote his epoch-making book after he was 42.
 Lawrence Sterne wrote "Tristram Shandy" when he was 47.
 Cervantes was 50 when he began to write the immortal Don Quixote."
 Defoe was 54 when he gave the world "Robinson Crusoe."
 Oliver Cromwell did not begin his wonderful life work until he was 43.
 Titan was over 40 when he began work on the renowned masterpiece, "The Assumption of the Madonna"
 Leonardo da Vinci, who we are told, comes nearest to being history's uni versal genius," was 45 years old when he painted "The Last Supper"
 Sir Christopher Wren designed St. Paul's Cathedral at 46 and the towers of Westminster Abbey at 80.
 John Hunter, the celebrated physi- elan, wrote his greatest treatise when 66 years of age.
 Pasteur was B before he fairly got to work on his hydrophobia cure.
 Morse was Al when he gave the world the telegraph.
 Past 40, too, was Mohammed be- fore he began to write the Koran and to organize the scattered tribes into Islam.
 Mommsen was on the shady side of 40 when he wrote his monumental his tory of Rome, and the other great Ger man historian, Ranke, did not begin his "History of the World'' until he was S0.-Rev. Thomas B. Gregory, in New York American.
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
Helps Perfume Trade:

"The perfumery business never was better" said the perfume dealer the other day. q sell more perfume than I ever did before, and I think my heavy sales are due in a large part to the automobile craze.
 You know the odor emanating from those gasoline autos is not pleasant. Lovely woman docs her best to over- come 1t by using lots of perfume. Just take notice the next time an auto whizzes by you and see if you don't get good strong whiff of perfume with the gasoline if there is a smartly attired woman in the machine.
 "Women may be going in for ath. letics more than ever, but they are go- ing in for perfumes, too, and the most expensive kind
 Ut would surprise you, though, to know how many men have the per. fumery habit as well. think the new fancy silk handkerchiefs may have something to do with that"
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
The Choice of a Wife.

A German professor selects woman who can merely stew prunes not be- cause stewing prunes and reading Pro- clus make a delightful harmony, but because he wants his prunes stewed for him and chooses to read Proclus by himself. A fullness of sympathy, a sharing of life with one another, Is scarcely ever looked for except in a narrow, conventional sense. Men like to come home and find blazing fire and a smiling face and an hour of re taxation. Their serious thoughts and earnest aims in life they keep on one side. And this Is the carrying out of love and marriage almost everywhere in the world, and this the degrading of women by both.-FrOm One of Mrs Brownings Letters, 1S4G.
 Never judge woman's age by her store te .th-
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20

The declaration by Charles S. Young, advertising manager of the Chicago, Milwaukee and St. Paul Rail way, in university extension lecture that railways have found newspaper advertising more profitable than any other form of advertising, points to a truth that has been growing steadily in recognition for several years. It Is only natural that 1t won early recogni- ton as truth among those in voca- ton attracting, as railroading con fessedly does, q large share of the best ability of the age.
 Concurrently with railway mana gers, the managers of all kinds of theatrical and other amusements, an other vocation demanding the most alert intelligence, recognized this same truth. and the huge crop of posters, Autographs and other window and wall paper" they had long maintained disappeared.
 The superlative quality of any par ticular thing could hardly be fortified more conclusively than by these two unqualified testimonies in precept and practice from two of the professions in which 1t is most of all necessary that methods shall be both intelligent and modern In the best sense.
 Modern advertising may be said to have been born with the modern news paper and to have grown up with 1t practically as a part of 1t. It's aim is the dissemination among men and women of prompt knowledge of where they may secure on the most accept able terms whatsoever they may le- gitimately desire. Its best medium, therefore, is one which keeps abreas: with Its time, takes hold on the atten- ton of the largest number of people who want things and maintains for itself a character for honesty, respon- sibility and intelligence that con- mands the respect and confidence of the community-Chicago Chronicle.
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
Dance Auction Day.

A custom that has existed for some centuries is still maintained in certain towns on the lower Rhine. Early in the year-on auction day-the town crier or clerk calls all the young peo- Ile together and, having chosen attrac- tive maidens, sells to the highest bid ders the privilege of dancing with them, and them only, during the entire year. The fees go into the public poor box.
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
A Knockout Blow.

Oatcake-When my uncle Zeke wuz in his prime he wuz sum punkins as a fighter, but he fin'ly got blow wot knocked him out fer keeps.
 Hayrix-Who wuz it hit him?
 Oatcake-Didn't nobody hit him. He went tew tn city an delivered tn blow hisself, bgosh!
 Hayrix-Heow wuz that?
 Oatcake-He took an blowed out tn gas.
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
Disquieting Suspicion.

Do you enjoy your wifes teas and receptions?'
 "No," answered MT. Cumrox, "to be candid, do not. 1 cant help harbor- ing suspicion that if l didn't happen to be her husband, Mrs. CumrOx wouldn't consider me of sufficient so- cial consequence to be invited."- Washington Star
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
All In.

Dottie-Oh! Mir. Scott, I've had a perfectly delightful evening. All those magnificent roses, the box at the opera and that delightful supper afterward how can ever repay your kindnessl
 Scotty-Well, you might lend me a car ticket to get home on if you have one.-Cleveland Leader.
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
The Executions,

Biggs-1 never yet saw man who could meet death without banching.
 Diggs-Why, what's the matter with your two sons?
 Biggs-What do you mean?
 Diggs-Well, 1 should think they ought to be able to do it; one is doc tor and the other is an undertaken.
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
As Compared.

Myer-A scientific writer claims that growing squash is capable of lifting a weight of nearly 5000 pounds.
 Gyer-And at that, when it comes to matter of strength, the strenuous squash isn't in 1t with the meek and lowly onion.
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
Great Help.

The Parson-Yeas, Bruddah Beazly did a great deed foh de church.
 The Deacon-Huh! Did he donate much money?
 The Parson-No, but he got up de idea of putting an alarm clock on de end ob de collection basket to wake up drowsy bruddahs en sistahs.
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
Equal Rights.

MT. Newed (two weeks after marriage) Don't sit up for me tonight, dear, as I may be detained down town until after midnight.
 Mrs. Newed-Oh, that'll be all right. By the way, in case you should return before I do, kindly leave the gas burning in the hall, will you?
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
Told in Confidence,

Mrs. Homer-My husband tells me that you allow your husband to carry a latchkey. Is 1t true?
 Mrs. Peckem-Yes; but-this is con- fidential, mind-it doesn't fit the door. I let him carry 1t just to humor him; he likes to show 1t to his friends for the purpose of making them believe he Is indeDendent.
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
Could Spell, All Right.

And you want position, do you| asked the man.
 Yes, sir" replied the boy. Are you good at spellng?" "Yes, sir"
 "Well, spell 'hypochondriac.' "Oh, well, can't spell it unless I have the boOk!'-Yonkers Statesman.
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
At Bacon Ridge.

The Postmistress-It's pesky little use I have for that Mrs. Styler from town.
 Silas Redboot-Why, at one time you used to say she was all right.
 The Postmistress- but then she used to write all her affairs on postal cards. Now she writes sealed letters an l can't find out her business to save my life.
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
Bad Bill.

"Closewood must be sick. see the doctor is calling"
 "How many times do you think he will call?"
 "About one hundred times"
 Goodness! You don't mean to say he is that sick?"
 "Well, the doctor will call twice for medical services and the rest for the bill"
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
An Excusable Tip.

Bilkins-Seems to me the custom of tipping is spreading everywhere. It's outrageous!
 Wilkins-In some cases it is excusa. ble.
 "Pd like to know in what cases?
 "Well, you can't get weighed without tipping the beam, you know"
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
A Natural Inference.

"How long have you been the hus- band of the defendant?"
 "Twentyfour years"
 "Eh. She's just testified that her age is but 2S. How do you explain this?"
 "We-we married young, your hon. r."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
Har,t on Them.

Hicks-Isn't it awful the way Dum- ley brags of his ancestors!
 Wicks-Yes, it excites my sincere pity.
 Hicks-Pity? Nonsense, the chump doesn't deserve any pity!
 Wicks-Oh. don't pity him, but his ncestors.-Catholic Standard and Times.
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20

The answer-to-correspondents editor was engaged in opening his mail.
 "What," wrote fair maid, should a girl do when she realizes that she has been jilted?"
 Seizing his trusty pencil the a-to-c editor dashed off the following:
 Tt is up to her to get busy and see all her friends for the purpose of ex- plaining just why she had turned the young man down."
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
Unnecessary.
told

Sapleigh -Me-aw-physician told me I wequiahed complete rest.
 Miss Cutting--Indeed.
 Sapleigh-Yaws; he even forbid me to-aw-think, doncher know.
 Miss Cutting-And did he have the nerve to charge you for advice like that?
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
Verified.

"Casey, hoy yez iver hur-rud thot if yez are ut tn bottham av tall chim- ney yez kin sac tn sthars in tn day. toime?"
 "Oi hoy, me bye, avn Oi hoy sane thim"
 "Yez sane thim?"
 "Oi did. Oi fill down tn chimney"
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
Feminine Strategy.

Mrs. Sayitt-Mrs. Browne has been treating her husband rather cool for some time.
 Mrs. Askitt-Yes, so I have observed. I wonder what is the cause of it?
 Mrs. Saytt-Oh. it's merely hint that she expects a new sealskin sacque this winter.
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
TeInpters.

Editor-In this article you say that great deal of thievery is caused by handbaggers. You mean sandbaggers, don't you?
 Writer-No, handbaggers. Women who go around swinging handbags for crooks in the shopping district to grab.
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
Not a Fair Deal.

Teacher-Who was the first man, Johnny?
 Johnny-George Washington. He was first in war, first in peace and first
 Teacher Gnterrupting)-No, no, John ny; Adam was the first man.
 Johnny-Oh, well, if you are going to ring in foreigners, I s'pose he was.
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
His Observation,

"Did you ever observe" queried the typewriter boarder, that the villain in a play is always man?"
 "Yes," rejoined the old bachelor, "and l have also observed that there Is always woman at the bottom of his villainy."
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
Same Sensation.

Returned EXplorer-You don't seem at all appalled, at my description of the way was chased by boa con- strictor.
 Miss Fluffy-NO: was chased by a garter snake once. and I know just how you felt.-Detroit Free Press.
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
A Baggage Room Dialogue.

"Therew said the suit case, ruefully. "That baggage man forgot to give me a check and now I'm broker
 "I wish could help you," answered the Saratoga trunk, but the fact Is I'm strapped myself" - Cleveland Leader.
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20
Errors Didn't Matter,

"No," said the publisher, i've have no room for you; in fact, we've dis charged all our proofreaders. Don't need en-"
 "You don't!' exclaimed the appli- cant.
 "No. We're publishing nothing but dialect stories now."-Philadelph Press.
Holbrook argus., 1905-05-20

The Senate judiciary committee of the California Legislature has unanimously reported in favor of the passage of an anti-trading stamp bill.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1905-10-21

Don't Miss SatuF-
days Sales,
They're Money
Savers.
New-York tribune., 1905-07-08
TUNNEL DAMAGES CASE REVERSED
Verdict for $4,000 Against New-YOrk Gen.
tral Set Aside.

The Appellate Division OF the Supreme Court
yesterday handed down decision reversing ths
order or the lower court, awarding TO Alfred ".
Newton $1,000 damages for injuries reretvec n cha
tunnel near the Grand Central Station. January 3
1902
Newton has since died and his widow. Viva Nsw-
tou was the respondent 70 She appeal as bis ex-
e,stt~ix The New-york Central and Hudson RIver
EIallroad Company was the appellant
The testimony showed that Newton was playing
whist when the collision occurred The snock was
not SUFFICIENT to upset the board on which the enrs
were played and the game was resumed until tns
slsht Of the injured being carried past the car
showed ths players that a serious acciesne lad oc-
CURED
At the trial Newton testified that from the cay
Of the collision he became m and ne grew steadily
wcrsa The sult not based upon direct cnya@-
ear injury the result saat followed rom no
nervous shock suffered at the time OF the acedenE-
The majority OF the court he'd that while the
medical testimony had shown nervous or mental
shock would be sufficient TO cause NewtOns con-
dirion on Nav i902. there was not particle or
evidence 20 show that any mental or nervous Sooc<
was produced by the COLLISION
New-York tribune., 1905-07-08
WEEK OF THE TENT CAMPAIGN.
Interest Growing COnstantly-MOre Sites
Offered Than Can Be Used.

The work OF the evangelistic committee through
the tents is growing every week More locations
are offered free than can be occupied In none
of the tents is the work apparently effective
than in No. I. in the heart Of Little Italy The
tent is crowded nightly.
Two additional tents should be provided ar once to
meet the interest At 6Oth-st. and I1th-ave known
as HeFs Kitchen. they have had their best week
since the opening of the work Tent No. 3. in the
Bronx at 1S0th-st. and Pelham-ave., has been IN
charge Of the Rev P. V Jenness. of ST. Louis. dur
ing the week Here the churches have united and
not only has the general interest been stimulated
but some very positive conversions have followed
This tent Is 70 be moved after next Wednesday
night to 164th-st. and Boston Road. in order tc
meet the engagements OF the committee In that
district.
In the Catherine Slip tent near the Catherine
St ferry, the interest has developed IN a remark
able Way The tent is not only dLed, but hundreds
of people are standing on the outside The Rev
Frederick Schiverea has Just come 70 New-York
City and has captivated the hearts of the people
the greatest tent worker in the entire country
Large heart sensible, with a splendid voice ana
a loving heart, he is able 70 preach not only 70
those who gather in the tents, but practically 20
the crowd that covers the greater part Of the en-
Tent No. was opened a week ago, at 14sth-st
Rev DR. IRELAND, assisted by the neighbOring
pastors and DR.. John BaIcom Shaw. OF Chicago
and DR.. Edgar Work, OF Colorado, SPRINGS be
ginning with the Sabbath Mr.. Reiland will have
as his evangelist II. n. Faulconer.
The lectures given by the Bible Teachers Train
ing School ar 10 a. m viii continue next week
under the instruction or Dr. Edgar WORK, OF Colo
rado Springs
Rally OF workers from tent meetings and friends
ers Training school. 4Sth-st- and Lexington-ave.
Invitation is general
New-York tribune., 1905-07-08
CHURCH AND RELIGIOUS NEWS AND NOTES
ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH TO BE DEDICATED 20
BRIGHTON BEACH-REPORT ON EVANGELISM.

Bishop c. z, Mcdonnell win tedicats the new
Roman Catholic Church OF the Guardian Angels.
which stands on Ocean Parkway, opposite the
Brighton Beach racetrack. tomorrow morning at
10 O'Clock The services will consist OF solemn
high mass celebrated by the Rev. Richard >
Foley; a sermon by the Rev. W. A McGuirt and
an address by the Bishop
The new church Is a handsome edihce. erected
at cost OF $4,000 1t is SO feet broad by 10 Feet
deep II is built OF red and gray brick. with terra
Gotta trimmings The Interior woodwork-tne three
AFFAIRS confsssionals altar rails and peWs-ls al OF
antique quartered oak. The building has accom-
modations for seven hundred people It's present
membership is six hundred. II was built largely
through the efforts OF the present rector. tatnsr
j. J. cullen. who has been with the conSresdeIOh
FOR the last eight years.
The first Of the church was csieoE4leG
twenty-five years ago in a frame structure al west
Sd-St- and Park Place. COney island In the a1tsr-
moons OF Sundays that time the building Was
utilized a dance hall As the congregation N
creased Il got frame structure in which % nold
services by itself. The rectors VINO nave auIlli
tered to the spiritual needs Of the ParsnostS@ @ LI
the twenty-five years in which the churcn nzs osen
in existence were Father Mckleverkln. tatheI
OLaughlan. Father Henernan. Father FaFley anu
Father Cullen
New-York tribune., 1905-07-08
CLERGYMEN PAUPERIZED.
Acceptance of Reduced Rates Has Same
Effect On Others"

Almost all clergymen are being pauperized"
was the startling statement Of ". I. Nichols gen.
eral secretary of the Brooklyn Bureau OF Charf-
ties, yesterday. at the Summer School Of Philan-
thropy. And he followed it up with. I'VE don't
have TO go to the ranks Of the very poor to hnd
paupers-there plenty Of paupers in
class Every who takes advantage Of reduced
rates is being pauperized If he does 1t only save
money and to make better OF his resources
for the common good"
Vistas of passes, exc Irson tickets, clerical dis
counts and other similarly nice devices were con-
jured up by Mr.. Nichois's words which were
apropos of the address upon Relief Problems" :"
which Miss Mary E. Richmond general secretary
OF the Philadelphia Society for Organizing Charity
had just given.
The danger Of pauperizing people by giving
them material relief is not nearly great as that
Of stamping on them some other anti-social quail
ties said Miss Richmond. THE trouble is that
in cases where material relief is given at all not
half enough Is given generally. I shall never for
get the puzzled amazement of the president OF
old established relief society when told that the
lief his society giving was largely wasted and
was altogether inadequate. How it could be both
at the same time passed his understanding and he
died without understanding If. But it is true, all
the same & large part of the charitable relief is
wasted, and even II it were all used it wouldn't
be nearly enough
Take the milk and eggs that useful IN
cases Of incipient tuberculosis. If there Is not
with them the results do not Justify the expendi-
ture.
But the eggs and milk are taken by one.
it is urged, and even If the patient for whom
they were ordered does not get them, what does
il matter long q somebody takes them?'
This reasoning takes IL for granted that q
poor family has plans Of its own with regard
10 its food the expenditure Of its money, and
that where one form Of nourishment is supplied
there viii be corresponding cutting of in an
other direction
Miss Richmond urged that the State take charge
QegeneraIeS detectives
care Of distressed families-the most delicate and
difficult of tasksto the private charity organiZa-
tons
d" Worthy poor and unworthy poor terms
that have slipped out OF the vocabulary OF the
professional charity worker, she said. Miss Rich
mOnd criticised sharply the quarter of a ton Of
coal and the dollars worth Of groceries system Of
meeting every case.
If material relief is needed, I believe in giving
cash every time she said, except in interim
cases. Brains what is needed in solving these
charity problems. brains and resourcefulness. No
two cases OF drunkenness are exactly alike. The
gift Of 81 to-day and days work IN the wood
yard tomorrow. doled out TO every drinking man
alike are going TO help solve delicate, compI-
Gated problem like that"