davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-10-18

FORD time IN Italy and
during periodical visits to New York
10 visited by a Genocse bootblack and
q Sorrentino barber. One day Mr..
Crawford asked the bootblack in his
native dialect, where were you
born?"
I'm Genoa" was the reply.
"And what Is your name?"
"Patrick Murphy"
"Magnifco! How in the world did
you get that name?"
Il took it."
But why did you choose that par
t1cular name?'
"Ah. excellency, it was because I
wanted people to think l was an Amer
ican."
The Sorrentino was much concerned
II day because Mr.. Crawford, who al
ways keeps a book OF pen in hand
while the barber is Mt work, could not
associate himself long enough to ad-
mirc the work Of the tonsorial artist.
You are very busy? You work all
the time? You V go to hear the
opera? Never to the theatery" he said.
Eyes" absently replied Crawford, II
work like Il dog"
".Ah..' sighed the Sorrentino ms he
dreamily raised his eyes and placed
one hand over his heart. Il sympathize
with you. We artists. excellency. in
deed live n dogs life"
When Frederick Cpham Adams
wrote his first book some ten odd years
ago he launched it with less confidence
than he did his latest book, John
Henry Smith," His friend F. r. Dunno
was acquiring fame as the writer Of
the "Dooley'' papers, and Mr.. Adams
went to him for sympathy and advice.
You have chosen a dull subject,
Adams" he said. land 1t all depends
on how you handle It,"
II think you will be surprised when
you read it," was the hopeful response
Of the anxious author.
Heavens. Is it as bad as that?"
exclaimed Dunno.
Miss Molly Elliot Seawell, the sue
cessful novelist, whose story. 1.-THE
Sprightly Tale Of Marsac," won a
5000 prize in n New York Herald CON-
petition some years ago, has been
quite fortunate in such contests, for
Little Jarvis" her first story, cap
tured a $500 prize from the Youths
Companion. She has a keen apprecia-
ton Of humor and tells the follow
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-10-18
The Rare Mr.. Jones.

The Rare Mr.. Jones.
A kindly man was William Jones:
He had his say in softest tones:
He was as gentle as a child
Until he got his dander riled.
When Mr.. Jones called some one down,
That fellow knew he was in town.
He was no stickler for his way;
He'd let the other fellow say
How things should go and what to do
And just what course they would pursue,
Unless he thought that Bill or Jim
Was trying to impose on him.
Then everything, he'd let them know,
Would go his way OF else not 60.
He'd loan o everything he had
And work a day to make you glad;
He'd stop to toll thel latest news
And listen closely to our views,
And. II he found you In distress,
A dollar bill on you he'd press,
But II he found you were not square,
Then there was music in the air.
Say, when you meet a man like that
Go closer and take off your hat:
They are the ones who make life worth
The living on this dreary earth.
You'll only meet a very few
Say In a lifetime one or two
To help mankind on the alert,
But buzzsaws when o do them dirt.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-10-18

libraries 10 ma out
how his work was
going with the pub
lie. lie hoped to
have his vanity
tickled Il little.
lis - in! he
said to the libra
rian. naming his
book.
LIT never was
out was the re-
ply"
Mr.. Chambers Is
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-10-18
The Old County Fair.

Inc Olo NCCnly Ed1T'
There's y lively rustling
All about the place;
Boys and girls are hustling,
Joy In every face; .....
Everybody's happy;
Something's in the air
Fresh and fine and snappy-
It's the county fair.
Girls in dainty dresses,
Hats in latest mode,
Pompadoured their tresses,
Fairly throng the road.
And the boys come after
With a jaunty air;
Lightly rings their laughter
At the county fair. "......".
Bankers gayly barking,
Telling stories new;
Judges busy marking
For the tickets blue;
Where the crowds are plying
Brass bands loudly blare:
Colors proudly flying
At the county fair.
Floral hall is dandy.
Quilts and tides fine,
Beautiful and handy,
Hang upon the line.
Life is sweet, and love IL
Throbbing In the air
When your turtledove Is
AZ the county fair.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-10-18

hours WIN the OLD
men Of the Tetong
tribe of Indians
through a sign Ian.
guage interpreter.
In this way l have
got ut the human
side Of these PEG
pie. l could have
delineated their
bad side, but it
would have c
STATED n h.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-10-18

some SpcclaItlcS
lie surprised the
members Of his con-
gregation by swing
ing clubs and per
forming other acts
Of ~jugglery. He an
nounced that he had
been practicing with
clubs, balls and
knives for about Il
year and that he
wanted to impress
his people with the
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-10-18

LIE ltlAC uOOuI u NCA-
tain rich Mrs. Mala-
prop Of her &C.
g%uaintance:
THE old lady
spends considerable
Of her time with Il
married daughter.
and when l met her
In London she gave
me a very pressing
Invitation to como
out and see her ut
her daughters coun-
try house. Then she
atm rtn1 To 1nScril,C
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-10-18
Humor ano Philosophy
BY DUNCAN n. SMITH
FERT PARAGRAPHS.

Few people overtax their intellects
in the interest of good government.
More points are scored for the sake
Of avoiding argument than for the sake
of the argument.
Men who deliberately start out to
work the hero business are apt to be-
come marks for the fool killer.
What man can do, woman can match.
Sometimes a man is as surprised as
his friends are when he succeeds.
Truth has such a way of being disa-
greeab!e that it is no wonder it is not
more popular.
The reason some women have lazy
husbands is that the women naturally
follow the line of least resistance.
Some people are SO self satisfied that
they cannot think that others can re-
gard them as anything but the whole
show.
Being in debt would not be so bad If
it We're not for ones creditors.
Some people acquire Il very pinched
expression by striving to live within
their income.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-10-18
The Other Way Around.

1T seems to me-" exclaimed Aunt
Rachel. you two are always quarrel.
ing when l come in!'
ION the contrary, ma'am" vocifer-
ated the masculine end Of the domestic
controversy. you always happen In
when we're Quarreling!"-Chi Trlb-
me-.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-10-18

The animals to whom nature has
given the faculty we COLL cunning
know always when to use 1t. and use
It wisely, but when man descends to
cunning he blunders and betrays.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-10-18
Moderately Honest.

"He would steal from a blind man."
"Not If the latter We're looking"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-10-18
The Water Cure.

HE calls himself a doctor Of n.y.
dropathy."
"Graduate Of a swimming school, I
presume"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-10-18
Gossip About
Noted Authors
Sympathy Per 2. Nasiea Cawferd Molly
Elliot Seawsll. Prize Winser-namlia
CAs3aAd - W. D. nowells asa
Lord ByroA"

NJ A Il I o n
+. CRAWFORD,
who has writ
ten nearly forty
books since "AIr.
Isaacs" appeared,
was born In Italy
and educated in
America, England
and Germany. He
spends much Of his
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-10-18
Foxy Girls.

ut used to be against the law for
q man to kiss his wife,"
perhaps the women had that enact
ed just to make the men want to kiss
them"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-10-18
lust an Inference

"IIe is only a fair weather friend"
"Missed One of your umbrellas"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1905-10-18
He Has Bored
k1any Tunnels
Charles N. Jacobs Was the First Man
I Pass Under the North River.
His Engineering Achieve.
ments

no be the greatest tunnel engi-
neer in the world is to be en-
titled to fame. Yet the man
The Washington times., 1905-12-25
WALL STREET VIEWS
ON THIS WEEKS MARKET
Opinions Not Entirely Decided as TO
Outcome, Though Generally
Optimistic.

Mixed views as to the nature OF this
weeks stock market and the Influences
and factors which are likely TO dominate
and control 1t are entertained in Wall
Street houses. There are those who
think that it will be a week of excited
speculation and rising prices. Usually in
the last week in December prices do rise
on account Of a heavy reinvestment de-
nand. which should be larger this year.
since January interest and dividends will
aggregate $150. .000. COO
There is always shifting of accounts
TO make balance sheets look better and
some anticipating of January's disburse-
ments by the fore-handed investor who
wants to get aboard before the usual
January rise. However. there IS usually
a considerable decline In prices in De-
cember prior to Christmas. and there
has been none worthy of the name in the
present precedent-upsetting market, so
that one might infer that there was a
good chance OF upsetting precedents for
the last week of the month.
A number of good houses have been
interviewed, and while they all give
out note OF encouragement, there is
The Washington times., 1905-12-25
How the Real Estate Men
Are Spending Their Christmas

Richard ]. Marshall spent this morning
horseback riding through Rock Creek
Park The rest of the day and this
evening, Mr.. Marshall says, belongs to
his family.
Edward p. Schwartz is entertaining a
party of friends from Boston, who are
spending the holidays with him at his
residence, 239 Massachusetts avenue
northwest
Thomas r. Martin, of Martin Broth
ers remained at his home. 1875 Lowell
sire northwest, all morning with his
family, enjoying the visit of Santa
Claus to his children. He will entertain
some Pittsburg friends at dinner this
evening. The dinner has no relation to
real estate. he says. Lee R. Martin.
the other member of the firm, will be
the host at a dinner party this evening
at his home. 2OS3 L street northwest. HIS
guests will be Marylanders.
Ben b. Bradford was at his office
awhile today. working on a couple of
big deals he has on. This evening he
will have some friends to dinner at his
splendid new home, 2034 Columbia road,
Clarence Barnard will have family
dinner at his home. 1906 r street north
west, at which his father. Justice Job
Barnard, of the District Supreme Court,
and the other members of the Barnard
family will be present.
Joseph H. Bradley, the popular
Georgetown real estate man, is giving
his day TO his son, to whom Kriss
Kingle was mighty good. Mr.. Bradley
thinks tremendous lot of that boy.
and he is enjoying the Christmas al
most as much as the little fellow.
Lewis p. Clephane called at his office
for his mail The rest Of the day he is
giving to his family at his home, 1925
X street northwest.
Murray A Cobb will be at his home
on Sunderland place most Of the day.
Earnest II. Daniel spent the forenoon
at the home OF his sister, Mrs. Balder-
stcn. 1874 Fifteenth street northwest.
AfSer dinner he will go automobile
riding. He enjoyed very much the fun
his little niece, Audrey Virginia Daniel,
had over the Christmas tree. Mrs. Bal
derston was the hostess during the dav
at renuion of her family and that of
her husband.
n. Rozier Dulany is having holiday
outing in Virginia.
William A. yesterday is in the midst
of his family and nobody can get him 10
go out.
Burr N Edwards ate dinner at horne
ano will devote the afternoon 20 auto
mobiling with Mrs Edwards.
Edmund X Fox will entertain his
The Washington times., 1905-12-25

also a suggestion OF caution that might
indicate a want Of entire confidence in
the certainty OF their position. The
manner in which the market withstood
the shock of the unfortunate condition
in Chicago at the opening of the week
gives encouragement to the advocates
OF high prices and they point TO II as
70 the inherent strength of underlying
conditions There is. however, a belief
that the money market will be inter
esting this week and it would not sur
prise shrewd observers IL there was a
sharp furry before the close OF the
year. The jump on Friday was taken
as a note OF warning, and bankers are
disposed TO view the situation with
some concern.
The Russian situation is daily be-
coming worse and it is not believed that
its effect on local matters should be
underrated. There is still a stringency
in the money market and no prospects
of a let up should be seriously entertain
ed until after the large disbursements re-
quired at the first of the year are pro-
vided fer. The investment demand at
the end of the year is usually effective.
but whether ii will produce the upbid-
ding of the better grade stocks IS
problematical. The bull interests are de-
pended upon TO hold up prices until after
the fiji st of the year and while it is gen
orally admitted that the public are not
Yet in the market the bull movement is
known still TO be in strong hands The
majority opinion OF the Street still leans
toward the bull side and II we reach
the new year without important reac-
tiOns il Will still further emphasize the
remarkable features Of the great market
which has been with us so long ana
may possibly bring TO pass the predic-
tiOns which have been made that 1906
Will show one OF the biggest bull
markets Wall Street has ever known
The Washington times., 1905-12-25
BIG CHRISTMAS TREE
FROM HELEN GOULD

IRVINGTON-ON-TH -THE-HUDSON. y.
Y. Dec. 25.-The sixteen poor boys who
are being cared for and educated at
Woody Crest. the home for orphans.
which Miss Helen Miller Gould main
tains. at Irvintgon, wnen they awoke
this morning found Il Dig Christmas
tree laden with many presents from
Miss Gould. At noontime they were
served with a fine turkey dinner
through the generosity of Miss Gould.
Miss GOuld's prOteges. in order to show
their appreciation Of her charity. made
a fine wreath of holly and evergreens.
which they presented to ncr today. At
tached to IL was a card bearing these
words:
From Woodycrest boys. wishing Miss
Gould a merry Christmas"
Each one Of the boys :ast week wrote
letter to Santa Claus. and these let
ters reached Miss GOuid, and she saw
that kriss kringlc granted nearly all
their desires.
The Washington times., 1905-12-25
WILL BURY CELESTIAL
IN ORIENTAL STYLE
The Funeral of Moy Sam, the Suicide,
Will Be a Picturesque
Affair.

Funeral services over the body of Moy
Sam. the Chinese laundryman who end
ed his life by hanging himself in the rear
room oe his place of business, 1000 Twen-
ty-fiftb street northwest. on Saturday
night, will be held from Lees undertake
ing establishment. 332 Pennsylvania ave
nue. northwest. tomorrow afternoon at 2
o'clock. Only a few of his relatives and
most intimate friends will follow the re
mains to Congressional Cemetery, where
the interment will be made.
Moy will be buried according to the
customs of his country. and imitation
money will be dropped from the car
riages by his feilow-countrymen on the
way to his final resting place. This
tissue paper money with holes in II will
be used to pay Moy's way across the
fabled river Chickens, chop suey.
candy. cake nuts. and other food will
be thrown into the grave.
The Washington times., 1905-12-25

father and mother and Mrs. Fox's father
and mother. and Miss Fox, his sister.
at dinner. Santa was good to the little
Misses Fox
l. S. Fristoe is spending the whole day
at his home, 1909 Seventeenth street
northwest
Fulton r. Gordon is making the chill
dren happy at his sisters home in Fair
fax county. Va. Mr.. Gordon and his fam
lily made the trip in his automobile
James NJ. Green has turned over his
entire day TO his family and says he is
having the yer" best sort of time
Th eOdore A. Harding is at his hume
1fSs Columbia road. with his family
Frank A. Harrison went to his Office
during the morning. The rest of the day
he Is spending at home
ii. r. Howenstein delivered Christmas
presents in his automobile The after
room and evening he gave up largely 10
eating and digeSting a turkey dinner
Ray E Middaugh, William e Shan
non, and Charles NJ. Wallingsford. of
Middaugh & Shannon, Incorporated. are
all spending Christmas at home with
their families. The employees of the
company were presented with turkeys
as a Christmas gift, in accordance with
a five-year-old custom of the firm.
The Washington times., 1905-12-25
ENGLISH UNION AND
A. A. u. WILL UNITE

NEW YORK. Dec. 25.-J. r. Sullivan.
secretary OF the Amateur Athletic Tn
ion. returned yesterday on the Ameri-
can line steamship New York from Eng
land. whore he has been cndcavo ing
20 form an alliance with the English
Athletic Union
Il fancy there will soon be an alli-
ancc." Mr. Sullivan said yesterday.
But on account OF the illness Of Mr.
Herbert. secretary Of the English asso-
citation. nothing definite could be accom-
plished." When asked 20 say something
on football, Mr. Sullivan said:
Football. as played ia England. diff
fers greatly from the American game.
IL is equally as exciting. without the
brutal features
The Washington times., 1905-12-25
HER GENTLE HINT.

Yes. indeed" said young Mr. Stay
late as he settled himself more com
iortably IN the easiest chair. Il was
college / could 90 mile IN ten-and-
a-CuaTter fiat
81 wonder" said the sweet Dung girl.
how long il would take you 10 DO Jne
distance from the piano to the front
gate|'-ClcYcland Plain Dealer.
The Washington times., 1905-12-25
FORTIFIED AGAINST LONELINESS

Hello. Is this the Such-and- Such
Iaiklng Machine Company
Yes, madame"
his is Mrs. So-and-So / want you
20 70 send me up phunOgrIph that says
Humph. My husband is gong away ,ur
rev days. '-BOstOn Evening Tran
The Washington times., 1905-12-25

downfall of s. S. Jones, n. Y q
principally on account of lack of train
Ing. Jones place has been usurped by
j. / Mahoney (6 feeD, an old timer
in the athletic game, who has como hack
TO form with a rush. The crop OF bigb
Jumpers has been especially scarce this
year
Naulting always an erratic sport. lived
up to its reputation this year. Draw. of
Yale Q1 feet 10 inches). and Jackson. OF
Cornell Q1 feet inches). lead In the
East. while Glover, of Purdue. and
Norris. OF Illinois. both vauIted II feet
Inches, at the Western college cham
pionships. w McLanehan, Of Yale. who
was expected 70 beat the worlds record
tnls year. went all 10 pieces, being forced
to quit athletics entirely.
Mix-Up in Discus.
general nix-up is the result Of the
discus throwers' efforts for 1905. Gar
rels. OF Michigan tossed the saucer 10
feet 2& inches, but was refused the
record BY the a. A. L. on techincaIity
Martin Sheridan has repctedIv smashed
the present record. but he is under 4
suspension by the a 4. L. and II K
doubtful If any of his records viii be
allowed Shcridans best effort was l22
feet inches on October Is
II looks as though the East stu holds
the athletic supremacy Of the country
by narrow margin. That the West
crncrs are making big inroads no one
Will doubt. and from now on we NAV ,x-
Dect to see the balance Of prowess swim,
Westward At any time.
The Washington times., 1905-12-25
CLARENCE FERRIS OBEYS
WIFE'S DYING REQUEST

NEW YORK. Dec 25.-In obedience TO
the dying request of his wife Clarence
Ferris an attorney. is giving Christ
mas tree party today TO 100 poor chill
dren who live ia the neighborhood of
his home on the old Kings Bridge road
When she was alive, Mrs. Ferris mace
il ar annual custom TO provide a similar
Christmas tree for the little ones.
The Washington times., 1905-12-25

Myron NJ. Parker was at the Chevy
Chase Club this morning. He will ride
horseback this afternoon with his
daughter, Miss Ruth Parker, a pupil
at Mrs. SOmers school, who is noted
among the young misses riders of the
city. In the evening a dinner party will
be given at the Parker home. at which
Hon. and Mrs. Blackburn and NJ. VI.
Parker, jr., who Is home from Hill
School, in Pennsylvania, will be pres
pQt
The Washington times., 1905-12-25

Charles P. Stone and Charles w.
Fairfax both decided to let real estate
take care of itself today. They are in
dulging in the pleasures of their own
firesides, where their friends are find
ing them.
The Washington times., 1905-12-25
Bigger Than Fitz.
Sharkey Loquitur.

"A pugilist should never marry an
actress" declared Tom Sharkey. Friday.
as he fOndled q locket containing por-
trait of a former trained nurse-Mrs.
Thomas Sharkey.
1T don't pay" he continued. Such
wives usually come 10 fighter for the
notoriety they can get. If money could
mend the big hole in poor F1tzsimmons'
heart would willingly give him half OF
ell the money l have"
Martin Julian had come up from Ben
sonhurst with the news, Fits former
brOther-in-law having got a private wire
from the old fighter. FITS children are
with Martin.
"Of course, there are many good
actresses on the stage" said Sharkey.
but l don't think they are the right
sort for a pugilist 10 marry. / never
dared. 1t seems TO be a part Of the
Game-to marry and then get a divorce" "
The Washington times., 1905-12-25
FITS NEW YORK FRIENDS
THINK WIFE IN AMERICA

NEW YORK. Dec. z.-What will Bod
Fitzsimmons do to the Major" whom
he accuses of alternating the affections
OF his wife. Julia Clifford Fitzsinmons
The Washington times., 1905-12-25

William A. Hill and Charles F. WoH-
raft, were occupied the greater part of
the morning laying plans for the 1906
business of their corporation OF Moore
& Hill Later they will eat turkey and
other things.
The Washington times., 1905-12-25
THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT.

enthusiasm rules the bunch.
NO matter what by Il they'd gain.
nty neNer-Or we miss our hunch-
VIII make their Christmas safe and
sane.
Indianapolis News.
The Washington times., 1905-12-25

George P. Robinson and Mrs. Robin
son are at home. and Mr.. Robinson SAYS
he intends to remain there the rest of
the day
The Washington times., 1905-12-25

William H. Saunders and Mrs. Saun
ders. with Mr.. Saunders father anC
mother, are having a quiet time a
The Washington times., 1905-12-25

B. F. Saul did not go near his office
but stayed at home amusing his chill
dren with Santa's presents.
The Washington times., 1905-12-25

David Moore visited his mother in the
morning and will spend the rest of the
day with his wife.
The Washington times., 1905-12-25

Swift & Company's sales Of fresh beef
IN Washington ID. c.. for the week end
Ing Saturday. Dec. 23. averaged O5.7S cents
per pound.