Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-10-28

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Stranger Than Fiction.
Johnny's face was always Clean
And his clothes We're always neat;
Johnnys teacher loved him well
For his manner WAS 50 sweet.
Eddie was a naughty boy
Tore his clothes and when in school
He increased his teachers cars
BY ignoring every rule.
John and Ed are men today,
one of them has forged ahead
Holds IL public offiCe-but
Strange to say it isn't Ed.
Chicago Record Herald.
Tie ferry dock was crowded with
weary homego,rs when through the
crowd rushed 4 marriott, excited, laden
to the chin with bundles Of every snap,
ana size. lie Sprinteu down the pier, his
eyes fixed on a ferrybOat only two OF
three feet out from the pier. lie paused
but AN instant on til" stringpiece, and
then, chcercd on by tn" amused crowd he
made II flying leap across he lntcrv' ning
stretch of water and landed safely on the
deck. A fat man happened TO be STANDING;
on the exact spot on which he struck, and
they both went down with a reSoundirS
crash. When the arriving man had some
what recovered his breath he lpoloSiZed
To the fat man II hope ! didn't hurt
YOU" he said, II am sorry But anyway,
| caught the boat"
"Bul, YOU blanked fool, said the far
man, the boat was coming in.'-Lippin-
COTS Magazine.
E,lihu Root said to his office boy one
day: Who carried off my paper basket"
1T vas M Mr. RILEY; said the boy. " Who
ianitor, sir" An hour later Mr.. Root
asked Jimmie. who opened that win
dow? MIR. Lantz sir. And who is
Mr.. Lantz?" The window cleaner, sir
Mr.. Root wheeled about and looked at
the boy. See here, James. he said W.
call men by their first names here. We
don't mister them in this office. Do you
understand?" Yes. sir In ten minutes
the door opened and 4 small, ,snrill voice
said: There's a man here as wants TO
see you. Elihu."
Not hong ago a young man who works
in bunk quarre led with his best girl.
tie trieo several times to smooth things
over, but she wouldn't let him: Finally
he thought out 4 scheme which. if IL
worked. would not only pave his way to d
reconciliation. but would show him con-
clusively that she liked him. He hired Il
evening he went to see the girl. Again
she refused to make up with him. just
as he was about TO go the messenger boy
appeared at the door.
ing a telegram. Down at his house ,uey
tod me he WIS.
The younS man received the message
and Slarccd over 1t. lie then handed it to
the girl. 1t read:
Can you go to Alaska at once to ac-
cept good position? The Coast Mercan
tile Company
WAIT a minute. boy" said the young
man. Il may want to answer this Then
he turned to the girl. Mary" he said,
shall accept this Offer:
The scheme worked They disappeared
in the parlor q moment Coming back tn"
young man gave the messenger hoy Il dol
lar. No answer" he said. Then the
hoy, turned to so he whispered, Don't
tell anybody faxed up that message. "
Kansas City Times.
In a Philadelphia club IA number of
Young men we're arranging tor a rabbit
hunt as soon the shooting season
should open.
John l.iithtr Long, the Japanese author
ity, said:
There is Il Japanese rabbit hunting
story.
One Jap meets another in tie hunting
season With :; gun over his shoulder
Aha been shooting he says. You
look upset.
II am upset replies the huntsman,
and with good reason; started 4 rabbit.
Cherry Blossom. my dog, ran after it, 1
fired; and Cherry Blossom fell.,
Too bad. And the rabbit -
The rabbit? 1t brought Cherry Bios
som back and laid her at my feet
Henry james, the novelist. narrated at
Boston dinner party n converse, ton that
he had overheard that afternoon. 1T
was a conversation said MIR. James
between Il young book clerk and an Older
one. II occurred in a book shop devoted
to the sale Of the most popular and new
est tiction. The younger clerk approached
the older anXiously.
Say. he whispered, there's a woman
here wants SpenccrS poems.
is 1t Herbert Spenccr's pOcms?' the
moe experienced clerk asked calmly
Yes. sand the other. What shall |
. Tell her we haven't got en- said the
older clerk
national member Of parliament says
that on one occasion, when engaged in
canvassing, lie visited Il Workingman's
house. in the principal room of which a
pictorial representation of the pope faced
an illustration of King William. of pious
and immortal memory, in the act OF
crossing the BOyne
The worthy man stared in amazement,
and seeing his surprise. the voters wife
cXplaned:
'Shure, my husbands an Orangeman
and m 4 Catholic
How do YOU get on together" asked
the astoniShed politician.
Very well. indade. barring the 18th OF |
July, wien my husband goes out with the |
drunk" -'. 49,. 1
What tEen?"
Well. he always takes the pope down |
and jumps on him and then goes straight !
to bed The neXt morning get up early, |
before he is awake, and take down King |
William and pawn him and buy a new
pope with the money Then / give the !
old man the ticket to get King William |
out"
Andrew Carnegie plays golf well, ard
likes TO talk about the game. OF one OF |
his friends. q golf tyro, he said at dim
ner in New York
BLANK went to play one day, and, dis
liking the rather forward manner of his
caddie, discharged the lad and took an
other in his place.
The discharged caddie, instead of re-
firing in Il seemly manner TO the club