The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-01-07
HE MILK IN THE cOcOANUT
BY KENNETT HARRIS.
Copyright, 1905, by Daily Story Pub.

(Ccpyright, 1905, by Daily Story Pun.
 Company.l4
 On one social occasion Trooper Wie liam ,. Jones made public declara- ton that he could whip to rich, creamy froth any gentleman there pre- sent. and that any lady within sound of his voice was his, to have and to hold. whensoever he chose to exercise his sovereign will . The gentlemen present numbered perhaps twenty-five or thirty. and 1t was not their usual habit to disregard any challenge of this character. but Trooper William Jones, six feet three inches in his government socks, bull throated, bullet-headed and with mus cies of might. jumping up and down on the f1fddler's platform, his eyes blas- Ing in alcoholic frenzy, his knotty fists waving and lunging. was 90 grizzly and menacing an object that they let the boast pass in lofty silence.
 As for the ladies--well, perhaps the less said about them the better. The incident, however. Illustrates the fact that Trooper William J. Jones was addicted to drink: further that when he had indulged in this form of vice he became aggressiveiy pugnacious and particularly amorous. It goes without saying that he was the cock of his company, and Company D had some pretty husky men in it's ranks too.
 One midsummer afternoon Trooper Jones decided that he was superior to military discipline. He was assisted to this conclusion by a little yellow faced man in indecnntly tattered can- vas trousers who came into camp with a certificate of good character from the Cuban general and 8 gunnysack full of green coeoanuts. He presented the captain and lieutenants of Company D with a cocanut apiece and they found the milk so mild and refreshing that they had no hesitation fin permitting the little yellow-faced man to peddle the fruit around the camp. Trooper William J. Jones purchased a cocoanut and he found the milk so stimulating that he declared his intention of get ting more of 1t, and rose with the evi- dent purpose of looking for the yellow. faced man.
 "Sit down. you damned fool" said his bunkie, you're drunk enough now. He's Ave miles off by this time.'
 You lie," retorted Trooper Jones. tThe measly cocoanut didn't hold more than a pint an you drunk a third O that, you grinnin', ganglin, spider-leg- ged tank. Tell me I'm drunk on a half pint of new rum and I'll make you swaller the heel O my boot. I'm goin' to git some more if folier Mister Dago Amigo to hell or Santiago"
 Their shelter tent was within three lurches and a stagger of the manigua, at least those evolutions took Trooper William ]. Jones into 1t and a mo- ment later the mottled and scarlet land crabs were scuttling before his uncer- tain feet as he steered for the Sevilla trail.
 Now it so happened that Dolores V i1r To lucky hour decided to visit her sister, Maria, at her little red-tiled house on the outskirts of Sevilla. She had no idea that there was any risk attending the proceeding, for she was a good patriot and was not the presence of the generous and brave Americanos a sufficient guarantee that no Spanish guerilIas were in the neighborhood? So she mounted her little donkey and set off. Right by the, spreading mango at the gate of the Bendizo plantation, at which point she entered the trail. she was delighted to see Trooper Jones'
 That Is, she was delighted at first She was a little bit of fiirt, was Dol ores, black. but comedy. and the black ness didn't count in the province of Santiago. When she first recognised the khaki uniform and noted the splen- didly proportioned. almost gigantic tEOm IL ClothSu anu caught LHc bolur admiring look of Trooper Joness dark eyes, she showed her white teeth in an inviting smile. But when she saw how he 1urched in his gait and the stumbling haste with which he ap- preached her, the smile faded away and she smote the little donkey vigor- ously.
 Hold on, Senorita Peacherino" cried Trooper Jones, grasping the donkey's bridle as it began deliberately to get under way. Wait for me, honey gal. Don't be scared" he continued. encir- cling her generous waist with his arm. I'm heap plenty amigo an you're just my size-sabe? Herel Whats matter? I ain't goin' to hurt you-jest want to love you. Quit your foolishin' an let me pet you"
 She screamed, and buffeting his bull