The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1905-07-21

the amiable Bill But the beast hai
suspected something and had nibble'
an exit through the wire fence.
When | arrived in the yard Bill
had reached the salad course in m!
neighbours garden, and was putting
away lettuce leaves for fair.
MY nelghbor saw the goat and di,
the hurry and quick Il the porch. &C
companied by a shotgun of no diminu
tive proportions.
What's this mean?' says he.
"shoot him.. says l.,
81 will, says he, throwing hiI
armament TO the horizontal. Now
my tall and cumbersome neighboI
never was properly introduced to
iirearm, and when the smoke hat
cleared away / had seyen choice bird
shot in my anatomy. Billy. the ami
able, had backed up q couple Of PAGES
and tethered his whiskers to another
head OF lettuce. My sharpshootef
friend had fallen through a screen
door and was being revived by the
cook lady, William, a broad and
husky dark.sklnned gentleman--hus,
band to the cook lady-seeing the
dreadful possibilities OF the situation,
leaped out OF the kitchen window and
with a terrible war whoop descended
upon the beast In the garden.
Talk about Ursus and the bull, why
that stunt looked like a penny side.
show compared with the open-air
rough house of William and the goat.
Aud the garden-%ell, the less ! say
about that the better, seems it cost
me ten dollars to pay for the green
grub that was tossed to the daisies.
But Williams had read a few stanzas
OF The Strenuous Life himself and
he showed BilIy's nose so far down
in the soil that he looked like an
ostrich hiding from the enemy. Final.
ly we Gained the beast, and | dele
gates William to remove him at once
to the freight station at the lake, with
instructions that he be shipped back
to the kind gentleman from whom
| had purchased him.
In order to facilitate matters I
placed a good stout cord around Bill
ly's neck and to it attached a tag
bearing the dealers name and ad-
dress. The next day was Sunday,
and Monday | took a holiday. Tues
day when | came back from work
| heard q familiar sound emanating
from the freight housv, and sticking
my head in the door | saw the ami.
able Bill c~omplacently sharpening his
molars on a railroad spike. | asked
the fellow that runs the place:
George. why amt you shipped
that goat to town.
George looked at me foolish like.
Cause says he, cause dat air
goat done ate up whar he was
gwine.'"
just at this juncture there was a
movement among the occupants of the
smokers division Of the 7:34, and it
looked as though the person with the
orange c~ountenance might be roughly
handled, But the man with the goat
was game.
And that amt ALL" he went on.
friend of mine wts with me, and
says he to me; How much do you
want fer your goat?' Five dollars
says |. Bought, says he, provided
you'll deliver him safe and sound in
my back yard Now, my friend lives
near the road, and says |: I'll
lead him to your back yard m'self,
and get rid of the c%ritter.'
, Consequently my friend and me
and the goat started due north by
way of the pike. All went well un.
I'll we encountered two men in a bug.
gy, They stopped to say something,
when Billy forgot his New Year reso-
lutions and made a mad plunge for
the horse that was pulling the buggy.
| tried to explain, but one Of the
strangers, with a long, loose mus
tache and a pencil in his fist, re
marked, pointin' to the goat;
"'Whose property is this?'
"'lt's mine says /.
Wen, says he, we assess you
ten dollars
You dor says /.
1--WE do says he.
And why?' says |.
Because says he, we are what
you call the county assessors, and the
OF the great state of Maryland
provide that we assess, at the rate OF
five dollars per front foot. all prop
erty found a.butting and Astounding
on this highway, That goat has two
front feet, and your assessment is ten
dollars"
End of the route" yelled the CON.
and the weary.faced occupants
the smokers division silently left
their seats and went their way, vowing
never again to pay heed to the con-.
versation of the sandy.compleeted pm.
Standardization Star.
Buried Alive,