Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-02


I ERE is summer coming around
| again and 1 must play watch dog
to those dreadful girls-the most
indefatigable, Unsuitable girls that ever
drew breath. wonder why girls never
want to rest for change? They have
danced all winter, until one would sup
pose they would like to crawl into
hole and lie there dormant for the rest
of their lives. But no; they are look
ing forward to tennis and rowing and
swimming and all sorts of other 'stren-
uous things, with the thermometer at
SO. and am expected to sit and watch
them, nobody caring that the freckles
are Coming thick and fast and that
blisters are forming on the back of
my neck. I'm only the chaperon.
Perhaps there are people who think a
chaperon's life merry jest. I wish
!. they would try it for a while. 1t is the
most thankless task ON earth, and no
wonder the girls own mothers want to
shift the responsibility upon some one
else. They make the excuse that they
have their bridge and other things, and
I am engaged to keep an eye on the
girls. The girls themselves hate it just
as much as I do, and know they call
me griffin and dragon behind my back.
1 found out what "g' and "d' stand
for!
They are forever leading me into dan
= ger and into blood curdling situations.
They climb out on slippery rocks at the
risk of being cut off by the tide or
swept away by the breakers, but go
they must, as far as it Is possible for
human feet to penetrate and 1 have to
follow. with no one to hold my hand or
. help me over the rough places, and
there 1 sit an hour or two In the cold
and damp listening to nothing but their
giggling; for that is the extent of the
girls conversational powers, and they
indulge in it on all occasions, especially
when my foot slips or shrek of fear
ejcapes me.
They are the most heartless girls on
earth. That was borne in upon me for
chilly the other day by remark made
by Elsie. was telling her of friend
of mine who had been suddenly strick-
en- with blindness, and who. moreover,
was deaf and dumb. "Oh!" she cried,
clasping her hands ecstatically. what
q chaperon she'd make!" and sim
cerely believe that if / were stricken
that way myself tomorrow they would
both be beside themselves with joy.
They have passion for dark corners
and for the back seats of wagons on
driving parties, They think 1 don't
know why. But l wasn't always a
chaperon. was young girl once my
self. and perhaps I liked dark corners
and the back seat too.
Well. 1 certainly have to take back
seat now.
They also take the greatest delight
getting me into yachts and sailboats.
They know I hate boats of any sort,
and I'm. always too i'll to watch them
so that is their little game. They wait
until ] am hors de combat, then they
disappear off into the corners they so
4 love and / am left alone with. my NAL
de mer. If they were to elope in the
middle of the stream 1 shouldn't be
able to raise finger to prevent it, and
1 can only be thankful that they
haven't taken it into their foolish
heads to do so yet.
Fancy what Maud said the other day!
When j demonstrated with her about
wishing to so driving alone with a
young man in runabout, telling her
that no one but an engaged girl would
do such a thing. she pulled me by the
ear and said: "Oh, you poor old goose.
Just let me go and I'll be engaged by
the time come back"
They are always losing their hearts to
some inane object in a pink shirt and
beardless chin, and wearing his college
pins and carrying his picture next their
hearts. They rush him numerically
for week, and have to follow, as If
/ We're after him too until my ankles
ache fit to drop Off Then they sud-
denly see another of the same brand
and they drop the first and begin the
rush over again after the second. The
first thing they always tell each one
istthat L am watch dog and the cal
low thing seowls at me and helps the
girls outwit me at every turn. Oh, the
joy Of being ehaperonl
They are never ready to go home