davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
State OF South Carolina.
COUNTY OF LAURENS.
Executors Sale.

BY virtue of the power vested in me
as Executor of the last Will and Tesla
ment Of S. X. Taylor, deceased, L will
sell at public cutlery to the highest bid
der, at Laurens, G.. H., S. c., on Sales
day in January next, being Tuesday,
the End day of the month, during the le-
gal hours for such sales, the following
described property to wit: All that lot
peice or parcel of land lying and being
in the City of Laurens, known as the
S. X. Taylor home place, containing 81
acres more or less, and situated on the
South side of East Main street, said
lane to be sold in lots as will appear by
a plat made by John M. Hudgens sur
veyor, and on exhibition in the office of
John f. Bolt, Clerk of Court. On one
of these lots is located a nice eight
room dwelling house with city water.
Terms of Sale: Cash. If the terms
are not complied with, the land to be
resold on same or some subsequent
Salesday on same terms, at risk of
former purchaser.
e. +. TAYLOR,
Executor.
Dec. Id, 1905.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
The snmnkuir.

There are weather prophets and
weather prophets, but there is n stone
which 1t is asserted unfaillngly fore
tells changes in the weather. This
stone was found in Finland many
years ago by an explorer and has been
watched by scientists with great inter
est. 1t is known as the samakuir and
presents q white notified appearance in
sunshine, gradually turning from gray
to black as a rainstorm approaches.
The samakuir is made up of clay, inter
and rock salt. In dry weather the salt
in the stone is prominent, but when the
air Is filed with moisture the salt alb
serbs the moisture and turns black
thus acting as Il barometer.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
.~TYPEwRlTERs, MISTAKES.
some plumbers THAT Mako the Ems
pIoyer's Life n Burden.

some plundern That Make the Enn-
pIoyer's Life n Burden.
In some stenographic systems an ar
bitrary sign may stand for one, two or
even three words. Sometimes the mis-
translation of one OF these signs leads
to funny results.
1.-The deed shocked the nation to the
heart core" was what was said, and
the typewriter evolved '"The dead
shocked II notion to the hard car"
''The rumor was but transient, though"
was hardly recognizable as ''The ram
mer was trains end through" A rear
end collision was evidently In that
girls mind.
"As mamma fed the Jews" was in
geniously tortured by another young
woman Into A mamma fed the jays"
Yet she was a Sunday school teacher.
plays, creeps and laughs the limo
cent" crooned the man one day, mouth
Ing the opening lines Of some projected
baby verses. When the typewriter tap
ped out plays craps and leaves the in
nocent' he scanned her visage closely.
He said, 1.-The voice Of DR.. Jocelyn
was heard calling for assistance" and
1t came out 1.-THE vice of DR.. Josh Lane
was hard killing four assistants"
When "But she held Jake too dearly
for that and so passed on" was die
tated and it came out But she held
Jacks, two, drawing for that, and SO
passed one" would 1t have been I'M
just to credit the girl at the machine
with an elementary knowledge Of gam
bling?
Occasionally n new beast or bird 10
discovered by the typewriter, thus,
"The sea quail was" ETC., the intention
being "The sequel was" etc. This was
In line with a blunder made by the
same girl. who had avowed that "a
gull u the schooner" instead OF "a
gale" On another occasion she de-
clared that a pair of lovers 'hatched
up II pretty squirrel" instead Of their
having patched up q petty quarrel"
Having confessed that once upon a
time she had been II waitress in II pop
ular restaurant, the reason is clear
why "Foist the males of the dynasty
was clicked out, First, the meals Of
the dinnersty." This sounds like a
''made up" but 1T is fearful fact.
1.-The president was heard with &C.
claim,"' dictated the man. 1.-THE present
was hard with n clam was what the
typewriter insisted that he had said as
she t%earfully hunted for her notes.
Success Magazine.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
Doomed to BacheIorhood,

A little ~five-year-old was in a dolor.
Gus quandary. He had just been told
or the approaching nuptials of his I'm
Gle VIII, and he suddenly evinced a
great interest in the subject of matrl-
mony.
Mamma" he said after ~ponderlng
The matter for awhile, "can folks mar.
ny their Sisters?"
No" answered she; "they have to
marry some II else's sisters"
We'll, can't they marry cousins?"
persisted the youthful seeker after
knowledge.
NO, not even cousins" said mamma,
Then what in the world will / DOR
walled he. Sister Margaret and Cous-
In Daisy are the only little girls 1
know."-Ncw York Press.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
A PROBLEM.
Why the Lady of the House Wa
ReRdy to Call a Init.

Why the Lady of the House Was
Ready to Call a Halt.
a lady recently called at the house
Of II friend, who answered In person
the ring at the door. With careworn
expression and Hurried manner she
apologized for the confusion that APP
parently reigned in the house, saying:
MY parlor maid is upstairs ill-not
Ill enough to go to the hospital, too i'll
to work, too far from home to go there,
yet needing attention from me. My
waitress is having IL fit of the sulks, and
l have sent her II to do an GRAND md
get some fresh air. The cook is just
now not on speaking terms with her
husband, the coachman, and is seeking
a divorce, so that one or the other must
go. h footman came home drunk
last night and had to be discharged
this morning. My house Is at skies
and sevens, my husband lunched down
town, my mother has taken the chill
dreu and the nursery maid home with
her, guests arrive this evening, md /
have spent the day in n vain search for
help in the house. / belong 10 n club
studying household economies and
have allowed 1T to turn Il searchligbt
on all my household affairs in the in
tcrests of society at large. / am now
ready to call n halt, to refuse to have
my domestic arrangements considered
a hunting ground for theorists, to pro-
nouncc all such clubs vain mockeries,
snares and delusions, inventions of the
enemy for s%quandering time and show
Ing the bitter contrast between alb
OF rD at fInnttr nr,I aI;k Tn,4
only club | am interested in must pro-
vid on tap maids who never get Ill or
suiky. cooks without a temper and
coachmen and footmen of unimpeach-
able habits."-Lucy NJ. Salmon in At
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
THE SOUTHERN Y o
Habits OF This Cunning Animal De-
scribsd by President Roosevelt.

aobttS OF This Animal De-
scribsd by President Roosevelt.
These southern coyotes or prairie
wolves are only about one-third the
size OF the big gray timber wolves of
the northern Rockies. They are too
small to NEEDLE with full grown horses
and cattle, but pick up young calves
n kill sheep as well as n small do
mesticated animal that they can get at.
The big wolves flee from the neigh
borhood of anything like close settle
ments, but coyotes hang around the
neighborhood of man much more per
sistently. They show a foxlike cum
ming In catching rabbits, prairie dogs,
gophers and the like. After nightfall
they are noisy, n their melancholy
wailing and yelling are familiar sounds
to oil who pass over the plains. The
young are brought forth In holes In cut
banks or similar localities.
Within my OWL experience 1 have
known of the finding Of but two fam
lilies. In II there was but n single
family of five cubs and N old animal,
undoubtedly the mother; in the other
case there were ten or eleven cubs and
tMO Olu lChiUlSS WhlCh uUu apparently
shared the burrow or cave, though liv-
ing Ia separate pockets. In neither
case was any full grown male coyote
found In the neighborhood. As regards
these particular filters, the father
seemingly had nothing to do with TAX
ing car of or supporting the family.
am not able to say whether this was
accidental or whether Il is Il rule that
only the mother lives with and takes
care OF the litter. I have heard con-
trary statements about the matter from
hunters who should know. Unfortu-
nately I have learned from long expert
ence that 1t Is only exceptional hunters
who a be trusted to give accurate
descriptions OF the habits Of any beast
I'VE such as are connected with it's
chase.
Coyotes are sharp, wary, knowing
creatures, and on most occasions take
care to keep out Of harms way.-From
"a Wolf Hunt In Oklahoma" by The
odoro Roosevelt, in Scribner's Maya
zine.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
A Queer Carpet.

For some reason the man had been
employed to make an inventory of the
furniture in theh house. He was SO long
about his task in the parlor, however.
that the lady Of the mansion went In
to see what he was doing. On the floor
lay an empty bottle. On the sofa lay
the man, sleeping sweetly like n tired
child. But he inventory had not been
wholly forgotten. AT the top of the
page stood a solitary, eloquent entry,
"One revolving carpet"
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27

Mr.. Makinbrakes Ito chance acquaint-
ance whom lie has met at a swell par
ty)-If you have any influence with
Mrs. Upjohn 1 wish you would suggest
to her that she announce dinner. I'm
frightfully hungry. Chance Acquaint.
ance-Me? I haven't any influence
with Mrs. Upjohn. I'm Mr., Upjohn.-
Chicago Tribune.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
when n chinese Emperor Dies.

When a Chinese emperor dies the In
telligence is announced by dispatches
to the several provinces written with
blue ink, the mourning color All per-
sons of rank are required to take red
silk ornaments from their caps with
the ball or button of rank. All sub
jects Of China without exception are
called upon to forbear shaving their
heads for 100 days, wiihin which pc
rlod none may marry, play upon music
al instruments or perform any sacrifice.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
Stone House Almost ms Cheap nswood

stone 1touse limos ns Cheap ms Wood
1t Is now quite possible to have the
exterior of IL house built Of stone at n
price not much greater than the cost
OF clapboards or shingles. This condi-
ton of things has come about through
the development OF the cement indus
try In this country. Given reasonable
access to n transportation line and a
sane bank, and the possibility of a
stone house is yours. One part Of &C.
ment, two or three parts of sand and
four to seven parts of gravel or broken
stone mixed together with enough wa
ter to make n paste will produce a
stone that is next to granite in hard
ness and strength, not affected by fire,
as are marbles and llmestones, and
much less susceptible to injury by
frost than sandstone.-Country Life In
America,
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27

"You here, James!' exclaimed the
slum worker visiting the Jail.
"Yes'm," replied the new prisoner,
who was In FOR burglary.
well, well, I certainly am surpris-
ed"
$50 was l, ma'am, or I wouldn't be
Observation-Disclosures Press.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
A Creeping Death.

Blood poison creeps up towards the
heart, causing death. j.. e. Stearns,
Belle PLANE, MINI, writes that a
friend dreadfully injured his hand,
which swelled up like blood poisoning.
Bucklen's Arnica Salve drew out the
poison, healed the wound, and saved
his life. Best i'm the world for burns
and sores. % cents at Laurens Drug
Co. and Palmetto Drug Co.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
Not Her ununI WAX.

Mrs. Ferguson Ito caller)-I never
did like her, and when the impudent
thing spoke to me the way she did /
was speechless with Indignation. I
couldn't say a word. Mr.. Ferguson
Quitting in)-That must have happen
ed before we We're married.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
Brains Lnrre and Small.

a mouse, 1t appears, has a compare
lively larger brain than a human being,
but the brain of mar has an additional
development Of the frontal lobes, and
therein Hes the difference. Higher apes
with very large brains have frontal
lobes smaller than the lowest human
hiot.-Lopdon Mail.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
A Sicily Mary

"Look here, old chap, III give you a
valuable tip" said the experienced
married man to the prospective bride
groom "Don't let your wife keep q
diary on the honeymoon. My wife did
that, and now whenever we quarrel
she brings it out and reads some of the
idiotlc things / said to her then"
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
Too Much Between.

"How did you like my specchT'
"Well, I-er-the fact is, p
"Great Scott, mani Wasn't the in
PRODUCTION well conceived and logical"
Eyes"
"And wasn't the p~eroration clio.
quentf"
Zine"
whats tho trouble them"
"They were too far apart."-Cleye.
land Leader.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
He Had Hopca,

Weariman-Is this the office of Quig.
1ey's quick cure?
Patent Medicine Man-Ycs.
Gimme six bottles for my wife"
Tried all other remedies without
success, eh?"
mo; she amt Ill at all, but / saw in
your advertisement where n woman,
wrote after taking six bottles, Il am u
different woman and 1 have hopes"
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
Rent Him In.

Blubbs-So your Investment turned
out badly, eh? / thought you got in on
the ground floor. Slobbs-I did, but 1t
looks as though some other fellows had
sneaked in through the cellar window.
Philadelphia Record.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
MvldAnCa.

dolly has offered to sing at Ethel's
musicale"
II thought she hated Ethel"
"Well, that proves 1t, doesn't it?"--
Judge.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
MAY CAUSE A SMILE.
MUST BE AN INVALID.

MUST BE AN
Uncle Hiram-I'm afraid u sum-
mer boarder must be kinder sickly.
Mandy-Why so?
"He says he's afeard breakfast at
half-pas' four amt goin' to agree with
him."-The Chicago News.
A HoE-MADE JOKE.
There was an old doctor lived long ago
Who hired a fellow to shovel his snow;
But instead of a shovel he gave him a
hoe,
For he was a hoe-me-a-path, you know.
-Woman's Home Companion.
Madam-Be sure to put plenty of
nuts in the cake.
Cook-Im crack no more nuts today.
My jaws hurts me already. -Harper's
Bazaar.
She-So you really imagine that
smoking benefits you?
Hell know it does. My mother-in-
law leaves the room the minute l light
my pipe. Exchange.
yes" said n of the travelling men
who were telling stories in front of
the hotel, 81 was once out of sight of
land for twenty-one days"
"On the Pacific coast one time /
didn't see land for twenty-nine days."
said another. A little, bald-headed
man tilted his chair against a post and
knocked the ashes from his cigar.
1 started across the Saluda river near
Laurens when 1 was a kid" he said,
'and was out of sight of land before l
reached the other bank"
cav, come off," came from the
crowd. "The Saluda isn't more than
300 yards anywhere near Lawrence"
81 didn't say it was, said the little
man. quietly. 1.-THE skiff turned over
and / sank twice"
NO NEED FOL A COAL MAN TO sTARvE.
"a pure-food commission in Chicago
recently dissected a lemon pie bought
out of stock, and found it to contain
neither lemons, butter, o sugar. The
principal ingredients were various forms
of coal tar and glucose. News Item.)
They're making cotton clothes from
wool
And iron things from wood;
They're making goodies out of scraps
And nasty things from good;
They're making paper things from rags
And money out of "sky;"
But this is sure the worst as yet
A coal-tar lemon pie!
They're making combs from kerosene,
And pearls from olive oil;
They're making Belgian hares of cats
And syrup out of soil;
They're making b~uckwheat cakes from
paste
And pumice-stone-O my!
But this is sure the time to kick
A coal-tar lemon pie!
They're making clothing out of glass
And butter out of grease;
While maple sugar made from sand
Is m than geese;
They make from scraps and chicken
bones
Most terrapin you buy;
But anything We'll stand except
A coal-tar lemon pie!
Baltimore American.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
Quite English,

Shells that an English coat you are
wearing? IIe-Yes. How do you like
1t? She-To be frank with you, 1t is @
fright. He-It wouldn't be English IL
1t wasn't.-Clcveland Plain Dealer.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27

The voice of conscience is so delicate
that it is easy TO stlne it, but 1t is also
20 clear that it is Impossible to ruietake
.t.-Mme. de StaeI.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
Explaining 1t.

Featherstone-How Is it, Willie, I
was shown into his room7 Usually
1 go into the parlor. Willie-Sister
said tho clock in this room was half
an hour fast.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
Her STYLE.

First Woman Suffragist-Did you cut
the ticket or vote 1t straight Second
Woman Suffraglst (absently)-Straight!
I cut 1t on the bias.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
That WINS All.

Oldun-Then 1 may take 1t that you
have sympathy for the old soldiers
who are starving? Broke - My dear
sir, I have nothing but sympathyi--Il-
Illustrated Bits.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
Her Poem.

Hell hear you rend n poem at your
commencement. She-No; I wore it,
Pittsburg Dispatch.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27

Ancient mirrors were made Of silver
or brass; looking glasses we're made In
Venice in 1900 A. ID.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
Easy.

GLOW do you suppose that fellow
ever got through colIege?"
"By means Of a college coach."--
Baltimore American.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
Marital Mnneuxern.

Bben-A husbands place is to com
mand. Flo-And q wife's to counter
mand!-New York Press.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27

1t is great and manly to disdain dis
guise; 1t shows our spirit and proves
our strength.-Young.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27

A little patient pushing is worth a
profound lot Of putting.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
Trien 10 nave Thto~. u.

There goes a fellow who likes to
take things easily"
"Is that so. Who is her.
"a pickpOcket.'' @
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27
A HoE-MADE JOKE.

There was an old doctor lived long ago
Who hired a fellow to shovel his snow;
But instead of a shovel he gave him a
hoe,
For he was a hoe-me-a-path, you know.
-Woman's Home Companion.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27

Madam-Be sure to put plenty of
nuts in the cake.
Cook-Im crack no more nuts today.
My jaws hurts me already. Harper's
Bazaar.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27

Uncle Hiram-I'm afraid our sum-
mer boarder must be kinder sickly.
Mandy-Why so?
"He says he's afeard breakfast at
half-pas' four amt goin' to agree with
him."-The Chicago News.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1905-12-27

Commissioners State and County Elec-
tions.
Supervisor Humbert will pay all ex-
pense of this election and the blanks
for making out the mileage and per
diem of the managers will be found in
the box, which must be returned to the
Commissioners for approval.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1905-02-04

have political pulls, and some backed
by petitions numerously signed. And
az each delegate would be entitled to
a clerk, there would be a formidable
scramble for these new Offices created
by this bin and given TO the disposal
Of the supreme court.
"Permit me to say that do not
think there should be a constitutional
convention provided for at this time,
for / believe the constitution we now
have is better than the one we would
be likely TO get from such a eonven.
tion. One Of the principle complaints
is that IL does not provide proper sala.
ries for state officers.
"The Capital Journal claims that
this matter can be Hxed by passing the
salary bill now before the legislature
without violating the constitution as II
now isi SO this does away with the
complaint.
" Again IL Is urged against our pres
ent constitution that Il is too narraw
In its limitations on state and county
indebtedness; that IL should open wide
the door for the issuing Of state and
county interest-bearing bonds, TO aid in
public improvements / think to do
this would be a grevious mistake. Our
tax burdens are now excessive Money
raised by bonds and expended on pub.
lie improvements is liable 20 lead 10
extravaganza and waste. And again
II is wrong for us in time Of peace to
make debts for our children an pay.
We ought 20 pay our own obligations.
again II Is said we should do away
with our present probate court and
adopt something like the system estab.
lished in Washington state. / think |
our system is better than the system
in Washington. II ] understand right.
ly, In that state the same judge ad.
minister's the probate business for
several eonnties-eaeh county should
have a probate Judge aud that court
should always be open for probate busi
ness.
Another rather novel objection TO
our constitution is that our officials do |
not obey the constitutions and that its !
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1905-02-04
a Pleasant M n -

'ae above is the usual vs,5,..
'le , traveller using the Missoori r..,e' 81
'a'''ay between the Paeis, -. 'S'ne
we east ana we believe that N. an. anp
ace and accommodations ,i,.'. '''V'
vas statement From Dew. -, merit
10 sPriags and Deaver ,As,a NOio'a'
'A''agh trains daily to ~. ~ Nv. Two
-la - Louis carrying Pullms., ',' ;. Il'y ,D
~. y, standard slestrie,ightsa go nat
80. N 's.' pa ears and up-,o-d.t. S'tl
- The saue excellent ,.,,,o.l o.A'ls I.
,'s'l',a .,' tron Kansas CIV ,.s ''s' Is
s'.... ~ 70 Memphis Little Ro.l - -, 81
.i.'' 1t''asH II yoa are soirg -. a-l not
,s ,s-.1' ~'''' Tor raFtisulsrs "a -, ~, or
W, -, q 1BRIDE Gen. A.,
ia rsisd St, ps,,l.,S Sss
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1905-02-04
MORE FAVOR
THE CONVENTION
n. r. Boise Thinks the Old Constitution
is Good Enough.

The journal has received hundreds
( ~ letters on the subject Of a eonstitu
tonal convention, and from all classes
bf eitizens comes the demand for a re
vision Of tho old constitution. That
sld charter Of our libeghes has served
long and well, but ID persons will
deny that tho three stHtes that lie all
around Oregon and hfving newer con.
stitntions are also prosperous--some
moro prosperous than Oregon. We
print two letters In favor Of revision
and one against the convention plan!
n. T. williams
~ am in sympathy with the consti-
tntional convention movement and hope
that Il will pass.
Hon .. II. Friendly, Of Eugene.
"Yours Of January 2Dth was for
wagded TO me al San Francisco. The
bill before the Legislature calling for a
constitutional convention should pass
waa called TO this city on business
and will return home in few days
Although you will get my answer late,
I will give you the benefit Of my opin.
Son. -
Ex-Justics r. p. Boise, Of Salem.
''In reply TO your note requesting
me 20 give my opinion as 20 the propri.
ely Of comforting on supreme court the
authority 10 appoint 80 or one.third Of
the Delegates TO constitute n conyen-
tien to formulate new constitution
Cor this state, would say that II there
is 10 be such convention (for which !
think there Is no necessity believe
The delegates should be chosen by the
people. II is the people whom they
should represent and 20 whom they
should feel responsible for their action
land not sho supreme court.
"If the supreme court should be in.
vested with the authority TO appoint
these 80 Delegates and should accept
responsibilities, the court and each
member Of the court would be over.
whelmed with applications for these
honorable positions aud be subjected TO
great embarrassment in making scloc.
tions from many hundreds OF ambi.
flons patriots, not a few of whom would