The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1905-09-08

heard of the Great American Inter
~cha.geable Pie company
Dir. Green stood up and laughed.
Then he leaned against the wall and
laughed. Then he sat down and snig-
gered.
Our object is to make the American
pie known TO he civilized world
known and appreciated No other ma
ton ever built itself up on pie. 1t Is
the pie. sir-the American pie-that
rules the world. Ny company proposes
to make them by the billion and ship
them to every inhabited spot on the
globe. From the 1st Of October to the
1st of March of every year we shall
make mince pies only. Forty-eight In
gradients and two crusts In every pie.
our trademark plainly stamped on the
upper crust, and all persons counter
feiting it will be arrested at once.
Every pie sen to its destination In its
own wooden dish. and 10 cents will
buy one in Persia as we'll as in Chi
cage One price to all. and nothing
like 'em. We have already secured
hundreds of testimonials"
Say, now-say, -now-ha! ha! HAP
roared Mr.. Green as he laughed till he
was red in the face.
From March l to Oct. L." continued
the major, without turning a hair, I'VE
shall send out custard, peach, cherry
and lemon pies. The price will be the
same, and they will give the same sat
isfaction. The capital is S 100000,
all paid in, and the stock is already
selling above par. Biggest, grandest.
richest thing on the face of the earth.
The dividends will reach 100 per cent
in the first six months. Don't touch
Standard Oil-don't fool with the beef
trust. Come into the Great American
interchangeable Pie company. That
is
THAT is, you want me for vice presi-
dent at a salary Of $4,000 per year,"
interrupted MI. Green.
You have struck it exactly. Several
years ago you loaned me S.. 1t was
bread cast upon the waters. / want
it to return. a hundredfold to you. I
want you to know and fully realize
lhGI IhC vi I'LL
beats in the human breast. Accept the
place, my lear old f~riend-accept it
and let me shake your hand in con-
graduation"
care you through, major" was
asked.
well, you can tell me what you will
do. If you have a better thing on hand,
-,hr r ho-n rorI;rr fo Gov hrt% roy,
know I would like to have you with
me-"
Mr.. Green smiled. Then be grinnad.
Then he chuckled. Then he roared and
slapped his leg.
"And the dividends can't be less than
100 per cent after the first six months"
solemnly asserted the major, who was
a good deal troubled in his mind.
"You slick deadbeat! You noble old
liar! You benefcent old baldheaded
son of a gum
Il do not understand you, sir"
Then Mr.. Green rose up with a smile
his face and reached out for the
major and made his heels knock over
the stove as he swung him around.
The second swing cleared the desk,
and the third raked the plaster all
along one wall. Then the major was
stood on his head, stood on his feet,
up and down and played pitch
and toss with, and when be was finally
left lying on the dusty door Mr. Green
passed out of the office with a Eta ia,
The Great American Inter
Deadbeat company wishes
you a fond good dayw
The major got up after a few min
and brushed the dust off and sat
down and hummed merrily to himself.
He had lost everything but honor, but
was as safe as the rock OF Gibral-
tar. NJ. QUAD.