The Somerset reporter., 1905-10-19
When the
Deacon B,
DONALD
II N7RlIll@9l ALLEN
Copyright, 1905, by P c. Eastment

Copyright, 1905, by p G. Eastment
There were few harder headed men
In Ingham county than Darius Parker,
farmer. He was reserved, closefsted
and without a particle of romance or
sentiment in his composition. The
notes Of the meadow lark were the
same as the grunts of his hogs to him,
and when he looked out over the mag
nificent sweep of the meadow he sim
ply figured on how many tons of hay
to the acre it would cut. Persons who
had known him for twenty years had
never known him to betray Il soft spot
and even when his wife died. after
weary years Of cutting carpet rags and
making soft soup, no one looked for
any emotion on the deacon's part. He
buried her the same as he went about
blowing corn. and instead of taking
housekeeper he decided TO cook his
own meals.
No one looked for any change in Dea-
con Parker but one came within six
months The first sign of it Wis when
he had his hair eolored black and shay
ed off the whiskers that had hidden
most of his face since he was a young
man. When that nine day wonder
had passed he had another surprise
ready. He bought a new suit Of
clothes, including long tailed coat.
and began to wear paper collars on
week days as we'll as Sundays. lie
was heard to speak of sunIises and
sunsets and other sentimental things,
and the hired man on the next farm
overheard him one day humming
/ love song
Inside Of sixty days the deacon had
half the county guessing what would
| happen next
Aunt Sally Merriman was RESPONSE
BILE for all the changes. The deacon
went over To her house one day to bor-
row farm implement and happened
to mention that he was lonely. Aunt
Sally had been waiting for such an
opening for several weeks past.
"Now, deacon. she began, sit down
on the dOorsteps and lets have talk
| Betsy was Il good wife to you. Her
| soft soap had no equal in the county.
and we all had to go to her to find out
how to make slapiaclls. She was al
ways sewing and darning and color
ing. and She never sasSed back when
! you ordered her around. You didn't
cry at her funeral, but know you APP
| preciated her just the same"
Yes; Betsy was good wife to me-"
sighed the deacon.
But she WAS took away"
eyes; she was cut down"
"And you are living all stark alone"
Yes"
Deacon" continued Aunt Sally after
Z bit 'what would YOU do if you should
nave collie in the nightf'
'I'd-Td have to try to cure 1t,
wouldn't II"
you would, but you might die twice
over and none of US would know any
thing about it. Then there is the ear
ache, the toothuche, dizziness of the
head cold feet and a dozen other
things. | fairly shiver when | think of
what may happen to you any night
But how can | help it, Aunt Sally
That's what I'm coming to. You
orter get married again"
Good lands" exclaimed the deacon
as he flushed up.
YES, sir, you orter, and I'm not the
only one to say So You are only a
middle aged man, and the idea of your
sloshing around alone all the rest of
your life is preposterous. | am sure
that Betsy would be glad to know that
you had some one to care for you. How
you manage to sleep | dunno, for no
man on earth can make Il bed fit to
sleep in. Yes, Darius, you must marry
ag'in."
but who'll | marryE
1--WE got that all fixed. have a sis
ter in Indiana who Is a wilder woman
She's coming out here to visit us purity
soon Sarah is a worker, just like Bet
sy used to be and just as economical
I've known her to make one pound of
brown sugar last for two weeks Her
disposition is cheerful. She hasn't got
mite of temper, and the pair of you
would get along like two doves"
Wouldn't folks talk?' cautiously
queried the deacon.
What could they talk about? Hain't
you got a right to get married ag'n?'
"Of course, but you see l hain't got
a headstone for Bctsy's grave yet, and
some one might say something mean"
you can hustle around and get
headstOnc within Il week and Sarah
won't care how many lambs are on top
of it. Then you want to spruce up and
look your best. | must tell You that
Sarah is a lcctle romantic and you
want to be the same Washing and
ironing will take it out Of her after
awhile but You don't want to cut 1t
off too short
~ don't believe | could be romantic"
yes, you could. All you've got to
do Is to talk about shady dells, harvest
moons, autumn flowers and floating
clouds Sarah has got over $1,000 in
cash in the bank, and it'll all be yours
I'm no matchmaker, deacon but | tell
you that you orter marry and that the
woman to fill the bill is my sister