Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-08-24

some of the tourists said we were right
near the entrance to the great tomb of
the kings, and that we better go in and
at least make a formal call on the
crowned heads, and so we went in,
through dark passages, with little can
dies that the guides carried. and up and
down stairs, until finally we got into a
big room that smelled like a morgue,
with bats and evil looking things all
around. and | felt creepy.
The guides got down on their knees to
pray, and I thought it was time TO be
robbed again. l do not know what made
me think of making a sensation right
there in the bowels of that pyramid.
where there were corpses thousands OF
years old, of Egypt's rulers. | never
| felt that way at home, when visited a
cemetery. but | thought | would shoot
my last roman candle and fire my last
| giant firecracker right there in that mos
eleum, and take the chances that we
would get out alive. So when the tour
lists were lined up beside a tomb of some
49,"
Rameses or other, and the guides were
praying for strength and endurance,
probably, to get away with all the mon
ey we had, | picked out a place up toward
the roof that seemed full of bats and
birds of i'll omen, and | sneaked my
roman candle out from under my shirt,
and touched the fuse to a candle on the
turban of a guide who was on his knees.
and Just as the first fire ball was ready
to come out l yelled: "Whoop-la-much-
a wano, e %pluribus unum." and the fire
balls lighted up the gloom and knocked
the bats gally west.
Holy jumping cats, but you ought to
have seen the guides, yelling Allah!
Allah! and ~groveling on the floor, and
the bats were flying around in the faces
of the tourists, and everybody was sim
ply scared out of their boots. | thought
| might as we'll wind the thing up glo-
rious, so | touched the tail of my last
giant firecracker to the sparks that were
oozing out of my empty roman candle,
and threw it into the middle of the great
room, and when it went off you would
think a cannon had exploded, and every.
body rushed for the door, and we fell
over each other getting out through the
passage towards the door.
was the first to get out on to the sidt
of the pyramid, and I watched for thu
crowd to come out. The tourists got on
first, and then dad came out, putting ant
wheeling, and the last to come out wer'
the Arabs, and they came on their hand.
and knees, calling to Mr.. Allah and ever!
one of them actually pale, and thinl
they were conscience-stricken, for the,
robbed dad of, and an Arab must be pref
ty scared to give up any of hi
) hard-earned robberies. | think dad wa.
) about the maddest mar there was, unit
; he got some of his money back, when h
| felt better, but he gave me a talking tt
that | will never forget.
| He said: Don't you know bet
l ter than to go around with explo
1 sives, like a train robber. and fir
i them off in a hole in the ground, wher
I there is no ventilation, and make PEG
I pies ears ring? Maybe you have wok
4 up those kings and queens in there, an
1 changed a dynasty, you little idiot" TIL
i rest of the crowd wanted to throw m
u down the side Of the pyramid, but | &C
{ away from them and went up on top c
: the pyramid and hoisted a small Amer
Il can flag, and left it floating there, an
) then came back to where the crowd wa
d discussing the explosion in the toni
and then we all went down the side {
: the pyramid.
Il The guides got their nerve back afte
I they. got out in the air, because the
Il wouldn't help dad down unless he pal
= them something every stone they helpe
L him climb down, so when he got dow
. he didn't have any money, and hardl