Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-05-04


ings, and the servants took Us In charg,
and walked us through long rooms GOV
cred with pictures a. big as side show
pictures ut circus. but instead OF snak,
charmers and snakes, and wild men oi
Borneo. and sword swallowers, the
kings pictures were about war. and
women without much clothes on from
the belt up. Gosh, but some Of those pic.
lures made you think you could hear the
roar OF battle and smell gun powder. and
dad acted as though he wanted to Gil
right down on the marble floor and dig
q rife pit big enough to sit into.
| They walked us around like they dc
when you are being initiated into Sc
cret society, only they didn't sing, "Here
comes the LOBSTER" and hit you with
a dried bladder. The servants that were
conducting us LATED. l had never seen
an Engllshman Ian before, and It was
the most interesting thing saw In Lon
don. Most Englishmen look sorry
about something, as though some dear
friend died every day, and their faces
seem to have grown that way. So when
they Ian II seems as though the WRINKLES
would stay there. unless they treated
their faces with massage. They were
laughing at dads dislocated calf. and
his scared appearance, as though he
was going to receive the thirty-second
degree, and didn't know whether they
were going to throw him over precipice
or pull him up to the roof by the hind
legs. We passed big hall clock. and Il
struck just when We were near 1t. and
OF all the "harlS from the tombs" sounds
ever heard, that clock took the cake.
Dad thought It sounded like death
knell, and he would have welcomed the
turning in of fire alarm as sound that
meant life everlasting. beside that dole
full sound.
After We had marched about three
mile heats, and passed the chairs Of the
noble grand and the senior warden. and
the exalted ruler, We came to bronze
door as big as the gate to cemetery,
and the grand conductor gave us
a few instructions about how to
back out fifteen feet from the pres
ence Of the king, when we were
dismissed, and then he turned us over
to little man who was a grand cham
bermaid. I understood the fellow TO say.
The door opened. and we went In, and
dads misplaced calf was webbing as
though he had locomotor attacks-ye.
Well, there were dozen or so fellows
standing around, and they all had on
some kind of uniforms, with gold badges
on their breasts, and in the midst of
them was a little, sawed-off fat fellow,
not taller than five feet six, but perfect
picture of the cigar advertisements Of
America fer cigar named after the
king. l expected to see king as big
as Long John Wentworth, Of Chicago,
q great big fellow that could take small
man by the collar and throw him over
house, and felt hurt at the small size
Of the king of Great Britain, but, gosh, he
is just like Yankee, when you get the
formality shook on.
We bowed and dad made a courtesy,
like an old woman. and the king came
forward with smile that ought to be
initiated by every Englishman. They
all initiate his clothes and his hats and
his shoes. but he seems to be the only
Englishman that smiles May be 1t is
patented, and nobody has right to smile
without paying a royalty, but the good
natured smile Of King Edward is worth
more than stomach bitters, and the Eng
lish ought to be allowed to copy It.