davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15
THE TELEPHONE.

An advertisement in a northern Kan
sas paper states that the local telephone
company in that town has, in addition
to it's 700 city telephones, over $50 rural
subscribers
This statement is laden with ire
mendous significance It is a measure
of the progress of the last five or six
years. If the average farmer had been
told when Mckinley was first elected
president, for instance, which was not
very long ago, that inside of ten years
farmers would sit in their homes and
talk with other farmers all over the
country, or with distant towns, the
farmers skepticism would have been
unbounded. Yet that condition has act
ually come to pass.
A few years ago only the larger towns
had telephone service and even in them
the service was comparatively limited
Today every community in Kansas has
its telephones, and Kansas is only typi-
cal of the entire middle west in this re-
spect. In many towns almost every
family has it's telephone.
Now the rural telephone is rapidly
spreading. Six or eight years ago the
farmers telephone line was almost I'M
known. Today it is everywhere Some
counties are almost covered with them,
and the day is not far distant when ev-
cry rural community in Kansas will
have as good telephone service as the
| towns. In southwestern Kansas four of
the most sparsely settled counties have
county systems. Away out in the
northwest telephone wires are stretched
along on the fence posts, and one can
find telephones even in sod houses. In
are perhaps 1000 farmer families. The
| one system mentioned serves $50 of them
with telephone connections, and there
are five other towns in the county, each
with its rural telephone lines.
And these farmers cannot onIv talk
to their neighbors and to their nearest
town, but for very small fee they
can talk to their friends in adjoining
counties. The advertisement referred
to states that the local exchange has
connection with $500 subscribers in
the adjoining counties. And in addi-
| ton to talking to these, the farmer
can sit in his home and talk to Topeka
| or Kansas City if he ever finds 1t
necessary.
This is truly the day of the tele-
phone. Twenty-Five years ago the
telephone was just coming into limit
ed use. Today it has almost revolu-
tionized business. 1t is possible to talk
from Topeka to Boston. and it will
probably not be long until it will be
possible to talk across the continent.
The telephone is spreading more rapid
ly today than ever before. This can
be seen right here in Topeka. Six or
seven years ago Topeka had a single
system and that system had only q
limited number of subscribers. Today
there are two systems and one of them
alone has 1900 subscribers, while the
other has more than it had formerly
without competition.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

GFrom the Chicago News.J
Some men do well by doing their
best friends.
An honest man neither buys others
nor sells himself.
Poverty is hard nurse, but she
raises healthy children.
He who lives up to his wife's expec-
tations is always busy.
A man is never driven to drink by
what his wife doesn't say.
A woman always tells you # is fool
ish to worry-but she worries just the
same.
Time is of no value to a man who
fails to use it.
Possibly the popularity of air castles
is due to the fact that they are not
taxable.
Some men never realize what hypo-
critics they are until death stares them
in the face.
1t sometimes happens that when a
woman's husband isn't appreciative
she takes to the lecture platform.
When a girl declines to let a young
man kiss her it is reasonably sure to
make her angry If he let's it go at that.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15
GLOBE SIGHTS.

EFrom the Atchison Globe.1
No man pays as cheerfully as he Or
ders.
The man who loves. everybody. loves
nobody.
No mans credit is so good that the
cash is not better.
How worthless we all are; yet how
we'll we get along!
No man likes to have the woman he
loves watch him eat
Some men only want your confidence
to give it to Others
Nothing is just right: soup is too hot,
and ice water is too cold.
Very often a dog runs as fast as he
can. and the rabbit gets away.
The entertainment a man finds in pol
itics. a woman finds in religion.
When the farmers kick for rain they
saw: This is the critical timei"
A man who has seven or eight friends
in a town of this size is doing well.
IF YOU are not naturally fair and hon
orabie. counterfeiting is pardonable.N
IF a man has no confidence in your
Judgment, is he doing you an injustice?
The nearer a man on a. journey draws
to q large town, the smaller he feels.
Our idea of a prominent citizen is one
who does not want to be postmaster.
Did YOU ever talk to a fair sensible
man that you did not feel ashamed of
yourself?
1t is said no woman ever admired a
man after seeing him asleep with his
mouth OPEN
History says a mans sins will find
him out: but men continue to bet that
they won't
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15
FOOD FoR. THOUGHT.

In view of the fact that Mr.. w. r.
Stubs has posed as the apostle of re-
form and the anti-boss movement in
Kansas, these remarks from the OF
tawa Herald, called forth by a remark
credited to Mr.. Stubs, affords ma
terial for reflection:
" If Mr.. Kelly plays fair with me he
will get fair treatment on the treasury
investigation declared Mr.. Stubs in
Topeka yesterday. Leaving out of the
consideration any question as to what
official position Mr.. Stubs thinks he
holds on the treasury investigation,
the statement arouses this natural in
quiry; Was it by playing fair with
me- that Kelly has secured such emf
nently fair treatment on the treasury
investigation in the past; and was it
on this account that Mr.. Stubs had
no idea a year ago what kind of a
man Tom Kelly WASP The implied
promise of unfair treatment in respect
to the state treasury examination here
after-by a man who has nothing
whatever, officially. to do with the
treasury examination-as a penalty for
improper conduct toward Mr.. Stubs
is impressive, to say the least"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15
HUMOR OF THE DAY

The Majah-Why are you so down on
house on last Fo'th of July, and he asked
me if 1 knew how to make a mint 3uleD.
The Majah--And did he then invite you
to make one?
The Kernel-No. sub: he did not. suhI
He was just asking. out of idle curiosity,
suhi-Pittsburg Post.
Here's the story of a man who died
while eating Wa Tea tbs old .o,or.d
brother. How de Lawd does favor some
people. Atlanta Constitution.
Daughter wish to marry the duke
Papa-Well, I'll give up!
old pepper you. but the duke wants to
know how much?-Houston Post.
THAT man is trying to fiirt with me-"
she exclaimed Indignantly.
There is no use getting angry" said
one of the other girls.
81 can't help it. He has evidently mis-
| taken me for the chaperon of the party
Washington Star
She-You know, Judge, our characters
are different and 1 don't want to be in
He-Yes, your honor. she is peculiar,
! and don't want to Interfere
| Judge-I understand. You ask for d.
! Batter.
/
We'll" answered the man who always
rangement by which the taxpayer stands
| a fine chance of paying assessments, with
no show whatever of dividends. Wash
| ington Star.
You say there's no such word as fail7'
well. you'n admit, won't you, that
there's such word as assignment? '-Mil-
waukee Journal.
Wigg-Why does Bjones call his yacht
the FLOATING Debt?
Wagg-Because he bought it on the in
stallmert plai1.-Phiiadelphfa Record.
Jenkins-Hobson must be dreadfully
three times this week asking me to return
the S. he lent me six months aGo.-Tft-
Bits.
why did the colonel jump of the steam
boat?"
was a Temperance society excursion. -
Pittsburg Dispatch.
Coed Lady-You will have to wash up
| some before give you anything to eat.
! Tramp (after washing for five minutes)
Madam this soap IS on the bum: it
Good LADY, understand, but you must
put more of it on the bum and guess it
will take the dirt of--Iudse.
THAT poet did not make dollar out Of
his great epic poem?'
And his ode to America fell hatf"
| That's whatI''
''Well, how is it he rides in an automo-
| bile now?''
MY friend. he's the author. Of a pop
de Chimbiy- ba OK. Jump-Crow in de
Mawnin' !'-Atlanta Constitution.
not Bring Happiness G We p Want e to n e0it i
out for ourselves.-Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15
JAYHAWKER JOTS

Scandal girl had her nose broken
while watching a ball game. A really
and truly foul ball did it.
You might not believe it, but it was
Chanute man who broke into a bar
Der shop and stole a bath.
Wamego hasn't had a case in its po-
lice court for so long that it has almost
forgotten it has such a tribunal
An Americas man has a buttonhole
bouquet consisting of a sunflOwer bios
som fortysix inches in circumference.
A Lebanon man claims to have 1.-The
sweetest house in the country" Two
swarms of bees live inside the weather
boarding.
Greenleaf Sentinel: 1t is said that
tying a stone to a donkey's tail will
keep it from braying. Wonder If any
remedy was ever tried on Superintendent
Dayhoff?
A southern Kansas man died recently
in the penitentiary and his home papers
took pains to emphasize the fact that he
was there as a guard and not in the
other capacity.
The Hutchinson Independent reverses
the court that decided that the sun
flower is weed. The Independent says
| it is a weed out in that country where
the soil is rich.
Back in the latter sixties John Mac
| Donald belonged to a Y. NJ. c. A. liter
airy society in New York City along with
young lawyer.
The curfew is rigidly observed in at
least one Kansas locality. That is on
Mosquito creek, up in Atchison county
where there is supposed to be a real live
panther at large.
Slam from the Lawrence Journal: II
would be unnecessary for the baseball
park arrangements of Kansas City and
| Topeka to issue orders against betting
on games; the results are always GER
tain in those places.
The Atchison Globe is responsible for
this: They say Colonel w. H. Rossing-
| ton, of Topeka, was once asked how
he came to be called Colonel" and he
replied: "I'n be hanged if 1 know. I'd
like to know myself
In connection with the statement that
Colonel Zach Mulhall and the Null
hall outfit, 300 strong will take part
| position at Coffeyville on September g.
| 10, the State Journal inquired if Col
| onel Zach were not in the Missouri
penitentiary. r. T. MCGEE, secretary OF
the Coffeyville exposition, writes: Col
onel Zach Mulhall is alive and well and
will be found in his office in st. Louis
acting in the capacity of the genial
popular live stock agent of the Frisco
railway, and he will personally super
wise our Big Show September 8, 9 and
| TO-" 1t seems therefore that Colonel
Zach" has postponed the result of his
| bad craftsmanship by appealing his
case. The Ietter-head of the Coffeyville
exposition shows that Mulhall is the
manager of the show, and that ex-States-
man Henry Clay Dooley is it president
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.

IFrom the Philadelphia Record.1
Most of us have promises to mend.
When scales get out of order they
are in a bad way.
Money may buy popularity, but the
market f1uctuates.
The man who stands on his dignity
is generally stilted-
Some people go through life as
though it were game of solitaire.
A disordered liver will keep more
men awake at night than the pangs of
conscience.
A sponge will take water but the
human variety much prefers some
other kind of liquid.
The fellow who refuses to face the
music must expect to be talked about
behind his back.
Let US hope that heaven is a place
where the suburbs are not in the
hands of real estate agents.
-Wigg-'S cribbler tried writing adj
vertising poetry and couldn't succeed
even in that" Wagg-"We1, 1 sup
pose even ad. verse can come in for
adverse criticism"
"Oh, the wedding bells are pealing."
Sang the poet, filled with glee;
And the cyTlic. so unfeeling,
Said: They don't appeal to me-"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15
THE LEGEND OF EVIL.


This is the sorrowful story
Told when the twilight falls
And the monkeys walk together
Holding each others tails.
'Our fathers lived in the forest:
Foolish pSople were they;
They went down to the cortland
To teach the farmers to play
'.Our fathers frisked in the n1iIlet,
Our fathers skipped in the wheat,
Our fathers hung in the branches,
Our fathers danced in the street.
Nothing of play they knew,
Only they caught our fathers
And set them to labor, too!
'Set them to work in the cortland
With ploughs and sickles and fails,
Put them in mud-waIled prisons
And cut off their beautiful tails!
Now, we can watch our fathers,
Sullen and bowed and old,
Stocping over the n1illet,
Sharing the silly mould.
Driving a foolish furrow,
Mending a muddy yoke,
Sleeping in mud-walled prisons,
Sleeping their food in smoke.
eve may not speak to our fathers,
For # the farmers knew
They would come up to the forest
And set US to labor. too"
This is the horrible story
Told as the twilight falls
And the monkeys walk together
Holding each others tails.
-Rudyard Kipling.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Why not give the peace commission
ers a little preliminary practice by all
lowing them to try to settle the differ
ences between the Taggarts?
Caution: Do not try to drive or ride
bicycle on Kansas avenue unless you
carry plenty of accident insurance.
George Clark is home from Colorado,
stories will shortly undergo great in
crease.
The Century Magazine this month
says the cold wave which comes sweep
ing down upon us from Medicine Hat
ever and anon in the winter time, is
one of this country's greatest assets
You will notice that the month of Au-
gust was picked out for the promulga-
ton of this doctrine.
that a peace commissioner is only a
well-developed boss trader.
Oyster Bay had a quiet day recently.
The president had only 237 callers.
AS yet the Topeka Capital Oem.) has
vouchsafed no explanation of the mys-
terry why Tom Kelly should be asked
to speak at an anti-horse thief picnic.
If nobody will throw a brick the State
Journal will suggest that the kansas
is now in the swim.
When the corn leaves begin to curl
even the temperance people are willing
that the state should go wet for few
days ro-'i
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15

w. r. Stubs is quoted as saying that
he is staying around the governors Of
fee ito see that the pledges of last
year are carried out" There are doubt
less a good many things of various
kinds carried out of the governors Of
fee, but the State Journal does not
know whether there are any last year
pledges among them or not. But if Mr..
Stubbs desires to witness the most mag
nifcent exhibition of carrying out that
has ever been pat on the boards in the
state OF Kansas, he ought TO step across
20 the state treasurer's Office. AT least
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15
JERRY sIMPsON STORY.

When Jerry Simpson arrived in Ex-
celsior Springs several years ago and
the news reached the parlor, several
feminine guests hustled out to look at
the signature on the register. "Oh, -
giggled one of them addressing the
clerk, ct wonder if he wears socks %
Mr.. Simpson, who was standing by,
heard the remark. The women all
laughed at the query, but they stopped
suddenly when Jerry quietly said to
the clerk: "If'w6nder if they wear
stockings % The women then fed to
the parlor, and their comments on the
Kansas man were not very hattering.-
Salina Union.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15
REFLECTIONS OF 4 BACHELOR
LFrom the New York Press.1

[From the New York Press.
If a woman is afraid of a man it is a
sign she isn't married to him.
Half the enjoyment of being married
is thinking what a lot Of enjoyment you
had before you were.
If you ask a girl if she had to learn to
like olives, right away she thinks you
are trying to get engaged to her.
If the ministers preached how wrong
it was to go to church on Sunday there
would be millions of men who would
insist on going.
Raising a family is 80 per cent condi-
ton and l per cent theory, with the
parents Arm believers that the figures
are the other way round.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15

Isn't this from the Washington Post
enough to drive us to pass some resolu-
tions: None of the men mentioned for
the presidential nomination in 1908 suits
the Kansans. Folk drinks whisky with
out a chaser; Jerome smokes cigarettes:
they do not trust Lawson; Fairbanks.
Shaw and Taft are not sensational
enough, and they are not certain that
Joseph Ralph Burton, of Abilene will
be custodian of his own movements at
that time
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15
GOLDEN Ron.

o, golden rod, I gaze upod-
Ka-choo!-
The yellow that you spread abroad
Ka-chooi-
A'd barvel at your laVishdess,
With spe' dthrift folly-dothi'g less
You pile it cd. bust Goddess
Ka-chooi
o, golden rod. the poets sig
Ka-ehooi-
About the glory that you brig
Ka-choo!-
1,b dot ad expert, l adbit
Codcerdig gold-I'b stradge- to it
But yours looks buch like cou'terfeit-
Ka-chOOi
Chicago Record Herald
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15
THOSE oUANrRELL REUNIONS.

Congressman Victor Murdoch of
Kansas has called upon Governor Folk
to prohibit the reunions of Quantrell
raiders in that state. All of Kansas
viii approve, but Missouri will sit on
the front porch and howl all night.
Missouri is a fine old state, but she
doesn't disapprove of these reunions,
and expects all the school children to
study up on Jesse James.-Atchison
Globe,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15
FROM OTHER PENS
OUR HEROINES.

A squaw who once gave General
Jackson a drink of buttermilk died the
other day at Coffeyville, Kas. All,
how the heroines keep dropping Off
Chicago Record-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15
KANSAS COMNENT
A PERSONAL QUESTION.

President Roosevelt delivered the
right kind of temperance address to
the Catholic total abstainers at Wilkes
barre, Pa. The temperance question
Is personal one. The consumption of
liquor means the consumption of hope
ana chance in life. 1t is a business
proposition for : whoever spends his
money for liquor must pay money that
ought to be used for something else.-
Lawrence World
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15
Honor to NAPOLEON.

The after dinner orator is born. not
made; the artificial product takes hints
and comics in vain All agree, however,
that the unexpected goes" best Lord
Chancellor Campbell knew this when at
a dinner of authors he suddenly rose,
asked that glasses might be charged,
and submitted Napoleon There were
cries of dissent. but Campbell went on
l:ndisturbed: I'VE as authors must feel
that the name of Napoleon should be
held in honor. for let us never forget
that he once shot a publisher" That
toast was drunk with enthusiasm
Black and White
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15
raising sugar in Japan.

Japan has recently been giving a good
deal of attention to the production of
sugar The cane tflrives on the islands,
and there are several refineries in oper-
alton near Osaka and Toxic and several
more in process of erection. 1t is ex-
pected that the amount of sugar now
imported from foreign countries will be
greatly reduced before very long.-Four-
Track News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15

A favorite game in some official cir
cles is Doodle, Doodle, who's got the
boodle?" And the prosecuting officers
work harder with less results at being
1t" than any members of the more
youthful members of society ever did in
locating the mysterious button.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

Subscribers of the State Journal
away during the summer may have
the paper mailed regularly each day
80 any address at the rate of thirty
cents a month. Address changed as
often as desired. While cs1t Of town
the State Journal will be to you like
q daily letter from home.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15

though he were a United States sena-
tor. yet he resigned from the director
ates of all the financial interests with
which he was connected. If any
United States senator has ever done
any such thing the public has failed
to find it out. As a rule United
States senator uses his Office to secure
stock in various enterprises and to get
on a few directorates.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15
PLANT THE FLAG.

The major probability is that Peary
will not reach the north pole. He
may not get as close to it as he and
other explorers have already been.
However, he should take with him
strong pole and an American flag that
will withstand the far northern blasts
for several years. He should leave
evidence that he has been there to the
next explorer who may drop that way.
Cincinnati ENQUIRER.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15
BOTH OF THEM SMOOTH.

We hear today of an Indiana
prodigy who multiplies 4.s72,3 97.47S
by T,142. 1857, 1852 in ten seconds. That
almost equals Senator Depew's record
in multiplying salaries in the EquIt-
able.-New York Evening Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15

Would it be in order for that anti
horse thief convention. at which Tom
Kelly has been invited to speak, to pass
resolutions against stealing, or would it
be considered as a slap at the guest of
honor of the convention?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15
KELLY,s ABILITY.

The best thing for Tom Kelly to do
is to embark into the insurance bust
ness, after he has sucked the state
treasury dry. We never saw a man in
done, as many crooked things as Tom
Kelly has done, and still manage to
keep sout of the penitentiary.-Fort
Scott Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15

Before this war broke out Senator
Beveridge wrote book entitled, THE
Russian Advance" What the senator
did not make clear in his book was
that their advances would always be
away from the Japs.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15

1t is reported that NJ White kissed
the conductor on the train that carried
him to Oyster Bay-just to show the
conductor his appreciation. If that
conductor isn't mad clear through he
isn't a good American. Next time he
will probably insult the Russian am
bassador 20 dispel his appreciation.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15

Kansas banks are already full of
cash and the returns from this years
crops will shortly begin to be added to
the already excessive deposits. Will
we again have a season when the
farmers will have to compel the bank
ers to take their money at the point
of the pistol?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15

The lola Register declares that it
stands on the same platform as Roose-
Welt and Folk And now people are
wondering whether it means the one
that was adopted at Chicago or st.
1Ollis
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15
WHEAT AND STEEL,

There are no better indexes of
country's prosperity than the crop re-
ports and conditions of the steel trade
Reports of crops at this season are not
mere predictions, but statements of
condition or yield, and they definitely
measure the productiveness of the
country. AS steel is the basis of SO
many of our manufactures, an increase
in the steel product means expansion
of manufactures.-Ch Chicago Inter-
Ocean.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-15

Only a few weeks ago a Lawrence
paper was abusing Governor Hoch for
deserving his friends meaning there
by w. R. Stubs, in the appointment of
John c. Royce. Now it is abusing
Stubs for deserving Kelly.