The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-04-16

He had '.barked" outside the painted
+ posters in the easolene smoke with the
best Of the side show announcers and
he knew every trick Of that facile gem
try to wheedle the rustic purse. from
the classic rusc Of 'the horse with his
tail where his head ought Ito be-
y to the manipulation Of the Canadian sill
Yer.
knowing as we'll as he did life under
1. the FOUND top and small tents, it was
Finnegan's opinion as an expert that
1.-THE one thing the average Reuben cared
most to see and the surest, most profit
Il able investment for any dime museum
was the Fat Lady. She,5he often as
n serted, was the sine qua non Of any
X show Enterprise. Fnnegan always fought
shy OF fads; he was conservative. Nov
elites in curiostics might come and go.
to day the Elastic Skin Man had his
vogue and tomorrow the Human Dyna-
mo might be poplllar--but the Fat Lady
was always the ..gucan. of''the side show,
I No museum could houe to attain any
dignity without the massive mountain
OF flesh as a central attraction. Fat
ladies had a standard value and We're
always sure of position and prominence.
This proposition was so simple that 1t
took Finnegan some time before he real
lied what 1t might mean TO him. lie
had always taken fat ladies for granted,
and 1t was with surprise at his own
stupidity one day that he suddenly ,awoke
to the fact that there lay his hope OF
Independence
Flnnesan had many channels of in
formation which helped him In his quest
OF natural paradoXcs, but chief among
these was q clipping bureau which sup
piled Elm with newspaper Items relating
to his trade. With these data In hand
he made frequent trips over the country
in search of six-legged calves, human
eccenrrics and all those quaint and
marvellous natural perversitics calculated
to excite wonder. admiration and mirth.
He was paid q small salary, which he
ekcd out with commissions upon the
a earnings Of his family OF freaks, but as
these levies were often hard to coll
lect life was strenuous to Tinnegnn. and
he awaited his chance TO assure him
self of n steadier revenue, l
When. therefore, he received a clipping
q from Chicago paper stating that q
Mrs Dunn. Of Portage, Wis. had at
tanned a weight OF 313 pounds Finnegan
prepared for a serious campaign.
elt was n bright May morning when
James +. Finnegan, his luxurious mus
tache newly dyed and waXed his hair
4 elabora tely sw!rled over his forehead and
huge rhinestone in his neclStie, found
found himself ii Portage nquifing the
way to the widow Dunn's house, This
was soon found, for Mrs. Dunn was a
local celebrity and In arwser to his
knock maiden opened the side door,
announcing herself as Miss Dunn.
e Finnegan's eyes were quick, but hls
mind. sharpened by his trade. was quicker
still. He gazed upon the dumsel with
speculation. She was fair fat blonde
OF some twenty-three years, blooming
with a comfortable good nature. Her
little blue eyes twinlSled with. Irish humor
20 type that Finnegan knew well how
to cajole with his frolic wit, He lost
no time in blarneying her.
"Good mornin'. Miss Dunn. it's glad !
am to see We, for I've been commits long
way express for that though ] never
thought togfnd a fairy like you at the
end of me travels You're iookin fine,
sure!"
E..wllat'l We have. now we've found
yneg" said the girl biting her lip, fol
Finnegans smile WAS compelling and
his adventurous air enliyened her fancy.
"D'ye mind II ! corle inside an sset
down bit? It's warm tho day. and
I've something important to colleague
your mother about
mo doubt yen be askin' her If ye
can marry me?" said Miss Dunn, arehly,
"Maybe so.n IHinnesan answered. but
III ask your consent lirstl ! promise ye''