The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-11-29

~ there - any show on earth Tor
measure of genuine fun, the Elk Is sure
10 find IL and follow IL up TO its Ia.
and best conclusion: This il the latest;
20" tale ~ sucking re, a-' the best
of all j., It's true.
On last Tueday night the Astoria
Elks gave their celebrated Irish social.
One Of the contributions 10 the infinite
li-t Of program. effects was sucking
pig given by the wife Of one Of the Elks.
The pig WAS put up for rattle in the
course II the evening. and the ticket
for the rattle called for various parts
oi the little porker, such as "the foot
of the pig" 'tne ear Of the pig" the
>qneal Of the pig" "the tail Of the pig
etc, etc, and "the pig"
Dell Scully won the pig and was run.
ming over with joy tiiereat. Now, C. II.
Aberrombe. Cha< Fox, Will Eigner
and DIR. Vaughn are co.membrs Of a
bachelors club in this city, and with all
the bachcloric propensities for a good
dinner, they cast one eye on Thanksgi,.
ing and the other On the pig. and befJre
the fat little sguealer could b. turned
over 10 Scully. Il had disappeared. The
lodge room, the anic.rooms, the halls,
were ansackcd; no pig. =. II. Aber.
crombi, had DISAPPEARED simultaneously
lie had the porker under hi- topcoat.
and -ped with Il to DIR. Vaughn room,
where IL was made pretty comfortable,
and the four gloated over the eaper they
had played. and dreamed vivid and soul
satisfying dreams of Thanksgiving.
dinner. ...# .... #.
Dr. Vaughn owns n snug little ranch
under the shadow of Saddle Mountain
~ miles south Of thi. city, and is proud
of the place; he has everything under.
way out there. but pigs. He allowed
thc poud farmer in hi makeup to
overcome his appetite for roasted suck
ing pig, and his obligations to his pig.
stealing compatriots. 80 he took the
sauealer out Of his handsome rooms and
in the dead of night sent il out TO his
manager with explicit instructions to
deny its very existence 10 any and all
who came down there seeking pigs. Nine.
teen miles il long way OF and he "pu,
II good face" on the disappearance Of
the little shoat and bluffed his chums
Ia stand still when they reproached
him with his careessness in allowing
some one 10 steal the choicest morsel
Of Thanksgiving dinner. He carried il
oil in great style and thought he had
the lid on" but they fooled him. Aber'
crombie. Fox and Eigncr hitched up a
spanking team on Sunday, early in the
day and tluycrscd dale and mountain
and prairie a. fast as mud could fly
and wheels could turn. They reached
the farm. they hailed the manager, they
demanded the. shoat; 10 all their de-
mands he had hut one answer, mo pig
there" until one OF the trio produced Il
bnncombe search warrant with big red
seals on il and proceeded to search the
farm under the alleged authority 1t con
ferred At sight Of the portentious in
strument DIR. Naughn's manager cayed
in and pointed out the happy little
gr,nter enscon-ed in well concealed
sty all by himself and jolly as pigs OF
his size usually get to be. In five min.
utes he was in gunny sack and in the
bottom of the buggy and bound for
Atoria, his three captors bowling, and
hugging themselves over the snug trick
they had played on the Doctor. Once
in town they put the poor little chap
in an old trunk bored full of holes, put
the trunk in storeroom in the loft of
Prael & Eigner's three story barn on
Commercial street. licked the door and
left him there. Yesterday the pig was
stolen. Today he is reported dead. But
whether he died of suifocation, or at
the hands of the slaughter house man,
or collapsed under the swift and radical
changes to which he was subjected DUR
ing the last 100 hours, deponent sayeth
not.