davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16
Bill Nve's Cow.

Zone of Bill Nye's old stories has
been going the rounds of late," said
a man who admired the late humor
ist, "and it is, in my judgment, one
of the cleverest bits of wit circulated
in connection with Nye's life. Nye
owned cow which he wanted to sell
and put an advertisement in the pa
per which read like this: "Owing to
i'll health, Will sell at my residence
in township 19, range 13, according tc
the government survey, one plush
raspberry COW, aged years. She is
of unGoubted courages, and gives milk
frequently: To man who does not
fear death in any form she would be
great boon. She is very much at
tached to her present home with a
stay chain, but she will be sold tc
any one who will agree to treat he1
right. She is one-fourth short-horn
and three-fourths hyena. l will also
throw in a double-barrel shotgun
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

The small ball of metal in the shape
of pine cone picked up in the Rue de
Rivoli, at Paris, France, by M. Chav-
igny few minutes. after the attempt
against Alphonso XIII. and President
Loubet was made, was really one of
the famous bombs sent to France by
the anarchists of Barcelona
NJ. Chavigny, happening to see this
cone, little thought he was in the pres
ence of a deadly machine Being a
great collector of relics, he evidently
thought it was piece of grille work
torn off by the explosion that had
just happened, and put it carefully in
his vest pocket.
NJ. Chavigny went to call on friend
in a tavern situated on one of the
boulevards.
He told his friend about the explo-
sion and exhibited the piece of metal
he had picked up and so carefully
thrust into his pocket.
The head of bolt covering the
lower aperture of the pine cone drew
the friends attention, and they start
ed to unscrew this bolt. An end of
waxed thread, holding in place "a glass
tube, appeared.
Then VI. Chavigny realized that this
ball of metal was not the result of
the explosion, but bomb itself.
With the greatest of precautions the
head Of the screw was replaced and
ten minutes later M. Chavigny placed
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16
that it's embodiment does not inter.
fere with the convenient and ready use
of any rule.
New 7ortosa Observatory.

The new observatory Of physical as
tronomy at Tortosa, in Catalonia, is
one of the finest of the kind. One of
the chief objects of the authorities of
the new institution is to discover the
relations which may exist between
magnetic, electric and solar disturb
ances. These phenomena are to be
registered at once and regularly so
they may be- studied seriously. OF the
seven buildings in the establishment
two arc devoted to magnetism, one of
which is reserved for instruments of
variation and the other is used for alb
solute determinations. Another of the
buildings is devoted to meteorology
and al" lefty, another to seismology,
.vilion is entirely given over
astronomy. All these var
"tments are. we'll supplied
.aost modern apparatus and
for the study O. the various
ad all that is now desireu
ly record of the work of
atory for the benefit of the
arge.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

the pine cone on the desk of NJ. Pes
chard, the police commissioner of the
Gallon quarters, who Immediately in
formed NJ. Girard, director of the
municipal laboratory.
NJ. Girard unscrewed the bolt, and
by pulling the waxed thread drew
forth two small glass tubes, four cen
timeters long, filed with concentrated
sulphuric acid.
These tubes we're plunged into a
mass of illuminate mercury, and were
maintained vertically by two small
fragments Of metal.
The director Of the laboratory had
everyone vacate the building. NJ Cir
ard, having first taken off a small
quantity of illuminate of mercury (for
all that was necessary was one grain
of this dangerous product to kill a
person, and this machine contained
1,400 grains), had a pail of water
brought to him. He then proceeded,
with the greatest of precaution, to
plunge the bomb into the water. Shell
tering himself in the inclosure of the
porte-cochere that would shield him
in case of an explosion, the noted
chemist let the dangerous bomb slide
into the water, rendering it harmless.
1t is believed that the bomb was
laid in the grass by an anarchist who
feared arrest and did not want to be
caught with the bomb in his posses
sion.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16
TOMMY HAD HIS JOKE.
But Probably Something Happened
= When Visitor n adz Ieft.

- - !s9opdDy SoHetnIn8 7SpPeneu
! When Visitor Had Left. .
One evening Miss Passe stayed to
dinner and Tommy, as a great favor,
was allowed to have dinner with the
company J. Growing restless at des'
sert, he was. sent out Of the room, but
in a few seconds he returned with d
little dresden clock from the sitting
room mantelpiece. -.
Gracious, child" exclaimed the
mother, what mischief are you up tc
now?"
: 'Goin' to try speriment," replied
Tommy with Importance.
Miss Passee uttered, ''The' dear lit
tie fellow is going to try an expert
ment," she gushed @How clever o1
him"
While Miss Passee was speaking
Tommy had carefully placed the clock
on the table in front of her. With {
mysterious gesture he laid his finger
on his tips and enjoined silence. NJ
one stirred
After about two minutes Tommy's
strained expression relaxed and hi
clapped his hands in exultation. 81
goes!' he cried triumphantly; ~:i
goes: You were wrong, papa" Tom
my's father said nothing, but looked
apprehensive.
"Of course it goes, child" laughed
Miss Passee. 'What maze your fathe
! think it wouldn't?''
"Well p" replied the little fellow
simply, che said your face would sto.
| clock The Tatler.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

In selecting window curtains and
draperies for the home, the following.
suggestions might be proftably adopt
ed:E a.. - - T.. = N
The natural advantages peculiar to
each room frequently suggest a basis
for decorative scheme, and in plan
ming for it too much stress cannot be
laid upon the Importance of this pre-
liminary survey, for plans are some
times suggested which have to be cor
siderably modified in their execution
often to the disappointment of the
customer. "
Where a festoon drapery is to be ar
ranged, it is good idea to have the.
drapery salesman or decorator sketch
designs on paper, which should adj
here rigidly to the architectural pro
room. BY this method you can see on
paper exactly the effect desired before
cutting into the material. From my
personal experience I have found this
to be practical and very satisfactory
plan.
There are fads in lace curtains and
window decorations as we'll as in Ia
dies hats-and most women, as we
know, will insist on wearing the lat
est fad in headgear, even though she
looks like an idiot in it. The hat on
the head no doubt should be very
beautiful, but there's something the
matter with the head. The curtains
which she selects for her windows
may also be the very latest fashion,
! and yet may not be becoming to her
| particular style Of house. There are
usually enough new things to suit all
styles of architecture and furnishings,
and it is always advisable to consider
these vital points when making a Sc.
lection. A description Of the accom-.
panying design may make a little
clearer the point at ISSUE 1t repre-
sents a bay window in a library, the
! leather valance at the top is new"
idea. It is especially suited to a room
| in which leather is prominent in the
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16
The Future BARGAINS.

"Yes," said the dry goods merchant,
ut is true that we propose to esta b1isa
a hospital as an adjunct to our store. -
"To treat the victims of bargain
rushes?" was asked.
"Yes, but that is merely begin
ming. Later on I expect to see the
business branch out and I dare say
we shall treat all comers for all sorts
of complaints at exceptionally low
figures. In my minds eye can see
our advertisement reading: Special!
This day only! Appendicitis opera
tions at cut rates: Positively only one
operation to each customer! Satisfac-
tion guaranteed or appendix replaced
and money refunded Puck.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

on each cover. When not in use they
are concealed by the book cover. In
making entries the upper portions OF
the note leaves the handrest is not
essential, but when these entries have
to be made on tn lower half of the
leaf their use does much to facilitate
neatness and legibility. The stenog
rapher's familiar notebook accom-
pishes much the same result by sim
ply binding the leaves on the short
end and manipulating the leaf upon
which the record is being made SO
that the hand is never without sup
port.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16
HON
i rs .'e'z l MD u III
Fl nlfNIJ
Notebook convenience.

: = , {
" Nj The arm rest that the bookkeeper
flnds SO useful in writing up his ac-
counts has been duplicated i'll modified
form for the benefit Of the individual
who has to use notebook to any ex-
tent. Many collectors, solicitors and
others having work CT a. similar char
acter are required to make frequent
entries In pocket-slze notebooks while
resting these either on their hands or
knees. This is obviously very incon-
venient, and a German inventor has
devised an improvement in notebooks
which he believes overcomes this diff
ficulty, at least, to great extent. In
side the book cover he provides wire
guides extending lengthwise. Upon
these guides stiff handrest slides.
having its edges so arranged that it
cannot be entirely disengaged. Two
Of these handrests are provided, one
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16
"EIiiah" Sandford's Home Runs.

The Rev. Frank W. Sanford of
Shiloh, Me-, otherwise known as
"Elijah," was student at Bates col
1ege a number of years ago. While
there he was quite noted as third base
man on the varsity team.
A short time after his graduation,
when the alumni were to play the un-
dergraduates, he was invited to **hold
down. his old position as third base
man. He declined the offer, saying
that he was now making home runs
for Cod"
The professor who was making the
arrangements wrote to him the Sec
ond time, saying: "All right, Frank;
but be very careful not to get put out
while sliding home.''
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

which goes with her. In Nav she
usually goes away for a week or two
and returns with tall red calf with
WoDbly legs. Her name is Rose. I
would rather sell her to non-resi-
dent Did he sell the COW? Oh I
don't know about that. T. m Just tell
ing you about the advertisement:
that's all. l."-Exchange.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

This cut was drawn by a United
States government engineer employed
on the Panama canal; it shows that
the canal, when completed, will easily
accommodate the biggest vessels in
the American navy, like the battleship
Connecticut.
The entire width of the canal exca-
walton will be $40 feet; the bank on
either side will be 10 feet. high and so
feet wide. So the width of the canal
proper at the water line will be nearly
two hundred and forty feet. There
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16
HE GOT LITTLE SYMPATHY.
Man Who Thought He Had Taken
Morphine Learned It Was Sachet.

VId1 VITO sHOuyHI TIC TAU dNSu
Morphine Learned It Was sachet.
A physician had hurry call the
other night to pretty fat On the
south side of Fort Worth, where
forlorn man was taking care of him.
self as best he could while his wife
was visiting in the east. The doctor
arrived a little after midnight, to find
pale and agitated man walking the
floor and clutching in one trem bling
hand a small vial marked "Morphine."
'l've taken enough to kill IA army"
he gasped. Il thought it was quinine.
For heavens sake, do something
quick!''
Well, the doctor did a number of
things and all as quickly as possible,
and the man put in horrible quarter
of an hour-several of them, in fact,
for the medical man was one of your
painstaking and thorough kind The
man was pronounced out of danger
by morning, and as his anxiety less
ened his wrath increased. Any wom-
an who would go off and leave bottle
of poison in the medicine chest where
anybody looking for quinine pills
might find it ought to be-he couldn't
find words to express what ought to
happen to her. The letter he wrote
that wife of his next day was Of a
sort TO keep her hair in curl in the
dampest weather. She is, however, a
perfectly heartless creature, and this
is what she wrote back:
"You ought to be more careful
about taking things without looking at
the bottle. I've told you that before
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

I'm Sglad yuu #called the doctor, for j
don 90 i I know what would have happened
you b B .it. I marked that bottle
smorphine s keep the maid fromstak-
\ ing. any thing ont of: It What you
took COB ! were some OF those sachsts tablets
FA FFAlpra Y sent me from Paris, and I'm
ssorry you wasted them <s:: s. y Short
Stories..e @%I %%.== =
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16
Window Draperies.

furnishings. The lace curtains are
Arabian ''bonne femme" style in the
wide and the narrow to match The
side curtains are made of chameleon
taffeta "a changeable linen-like stuff
with three bands of burnt leather
sewed across the bottom.
The opening from the hall into this
room is curtained with a leather por-
tiere
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

Will be 35 feet of water, and, as the
canals sides shelve inward the bot
tom will be $50 feet wide.
The battleship Connecticut, for ex-
ample, is of 7G feet 10 inches beam.
Her draught on her trial trip was "a
feet inches, and is 26 feet 9 inches
at her maximum displacement. So
there will be nearly nine feet of water
between the keel of such vessel and
the bottom of the canal, and in pass
ing through it she will be able to use
aer own power, working her engines
at very low speed.-New York World.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

Annie Besant's assertion that she
knows what becomes of us when we
are asleep reminds us Of the widow
who said there was some consolation
in the fact that, now she had buried
her husband, she knew where he was
rights. .s&
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

There is much argument just now
on the. question of who was the father
Of the American navy. Why bother
over the father when we have the
child, and such a fine, healthy child,
too!
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16
SIS Telegraph to '-Isthmus.

tractive field for wireless
ply has been opened up by the
4lzation of the Panama canal prof.
Officials are considering the
,bility Of, establishing wireless
ction between New Orleans and
.sthIhus: Between these places
is clear seaway Of 1900 miles,
gh the gulf Of Mexico and the
can sea. 5s RE ." 80 i. I
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

OF course we all know what ought
to have happened to the ailing small
boy whose mother gave him ten cents
to go to the drug store to get a dose
Of castor oil and who spent it for an
ice cream soda.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

If the recording angel has kept a
careful account of the remarks made
by the S0000,00O of the American peo-
pie about the weather recently, he
must have a busy set of shorthand
clerks.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

Rojestvensky ascribes his defeat to
bad shells, incompetent gunners, and
mutinous crews. A combination like
that was clearly no match for the vir-
tues of the mikado's ancestors.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

Considering the result of efforts to
dash" to the pole there may be some
thing in the idea of a Philadelphia
explorer who proposes to drift"
thither.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

Cassie Chadwick's main trouble Just
now is said to be rat who gives
matinee races round her cell. She
will either get trap or move out OF
the prison.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

For the first time in 200 years the
governor Of st. Pierre-Miquelon is Wis
iting the governor of Newfoundland
for couple of days. OF course it has
not been the same governor all the
time, on either side.~
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

Massachusetts requires some work
from tramps If they are to receive
food, and it reduced the number in the
state last year from 800 to 800. Work
seems to be, one OF the best remedies
for the tramp disease that has yet
been, discovered. # 1& E. II. II
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

Even if it does cost anywhere from
$1,000 to $4,000 a month to run an
up-to-date steam yacht, only think
what lot of fun you have!
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

The editor of an Atlanta paper
legislature the other day. The edi-
tor must have felt that his fist was
mightier than his pen.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

The spooners are grieved because
the man in the moon has left town,
says one of our bright young men.
Don't you believe it, sonny. On the
contrary. Quite the reverse.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

The Atlantic ocean contains an area
of about 100000 square miles, and
yet some people act as if they felt big
enough to make the tide rise when
they go in bathing.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

Writing in an eastern paper,
grouchy citizen says that patients who
fall in love with their nurses usually
do so merely because of "peripheral
propinquity." Those dreadful germs
again.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

European sovereigns that have en-
teTtained the shah of Persia are quite
willing he should do all his visiting in
the United States.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16
Misunderstood

Il don't like the Honorable Strut
tan Bough," remarked the lady presi.
dent of the Helpful Band of Uplifters.
"Why,'' murmurs the lady secretary
OF the Earnest Association of Sympa.
tn always impressed me as
e""tly willing to
zee to th
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

The Sultan of Morocco has ordered
the building of stone pier at Tan
gier, probably with a hope that his
next royal visitor will run into it and
founder.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

The Shah of Persia is reported to be
suffering from melarcholia. He's
foolish man. We understand that he
has his coal all in and paid for.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

A New York woman wants divorce
because her husband plays poker. She
must find it hard to discover any
change in his pockets.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

One of Hollands islands in the
East Indies is in rebellion. There
must be some fighting germ that has
attacked the worlds islands.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

That famous football player who
has started business on the New York
stock exchange is in fair way to get
shorn at last.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

The assertion that Newport is on
the decline was contradicted imme-
diately by the announcement of a big
jewel robbery down there.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

New York's society swells now have
their giant minds centered upon the
important task of pulling off a race
between a coach dog and a bull pup.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

Pittsburg has decided to annex the
village of Bon Air. That certainly is
what Pittsburg needs more than any
thing else.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

About twenty-seve cabmen were
killed by the bomb intended for the
sultan, so the energy wasn't entirely
wasted.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16
It's an unusual week nowadays
when bomb isn't thrown somewhere
at somebody in Russia. =. 's.s

The prediction OF shortage Of 10,-
100000 pounds in the California p=une,
crop will be comforting to some.
The Cook County herald., 1905-09-16

A large flying machine has now
been constructed on a car with wings
worked by q 3-h.-p. petrol engine,
that will flap 100 time minute. Mr..
Hutchinson believes the problem of
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1905-12-08
call MsHey Rates Reach Highs
Point Since 1902.
pr CES DROP THEN BOB |
Skyrocket Advance Made IN Tennessee,
Coal and Several Other Specia
s,ocks-Losses Ranged From One I,
Two Points--sonds are Heavy.
tny Associated Prerr.)

NEW YORK, Dee. THE stool
market struggled against tho Sever
strinGoncy in the money market toda
ana escaped without serious damage
to values. After the period OF creates
weakness IN The morning there wnr
general recorcrics and under this inf"
Hnce skyrockct advances were maize IL
Tennessee Goa! mt vigorous upward
movement in other special stocks.
Money on call WAS quoted as high n
2S per cent. thus rising above tho pre-
Nions maximum for the year touc he
last month. Today'S high rate In fac
has not been cQuaiitd before since DC
tooor 1892. Losses n the extreme low
level Of DAY were not excessive in any
stock. X was notable also that the
were quite uniform. between / and :
points. Where the losscg ran beyond
tao average they were not found in the
stocks which have chen subjected t,
thu greatest speculative activity in the
immediate past.
Inc whole market closed strong ant'
%ith the earlier losses almost univcr
sally charged to varying gains.
bonds We're heavy. Total sales, mar
'alrc. $2,l53,000. United States new
i's registered declined 10 and coupon
81 per cant. on call.
Total sales OF stocks were 1885, SOC
shares
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1905-12-08
q gslSsAs eGsaaG fluu&a
Ssssss SSsSsssssg in shA We&s

hour and 30 minutes to Richn ond
Schedule In Effect November &c. 1905
LEAV. NEWPORT NEWS:
7:iO n. H.. daily except Sunday. Local
10 Richmond Connects for Lynch
burg. Lexington, Va, New Castle
and Clifton Forge, except Sunday for
Rosncy and Esmont. Leave Fort
Monroe, 7:lO n. m; PhOe6us, I:l3;
Hampton. us n. M
1910 a m, daily, Fast train to Rich
mond (stoppine only at Williams.
burg), arrives Richmond ll:45 a. m,
connecting with "St Louis Special"
leaving p m. with Pullman for Gin
cinnat, indianapolis and Chicago;
and Pullman service for ST. Louis
and Louisville. Cafe Pnrlor Car, Old
Point 10 Clifton Forge Leaves Fort
Monroe, $40 a. M; Hampton, 9:i8
q. m.
ops p. m, daily. Fast train for Rich
mond (stoppins only at Williams.
bmrg). arrives Richmond 1850 u. NJ.
Connecting with +. r v, leaving
1l:Oo y. M, carrying Pullman Sleep
or to Cincinnati ana Louisville.
Leaves Fort Monroe Ans p. m;
Phoobus, 4:5S p. m, and Hampton.
sos D. m.
SAC p M, daily except Sunday. stops
at local stations on Peninsula, CON
meets Mt Richmond with +. t. v.
Limited.
TRAINS ARRIVE FROM RICHMOND
$3.50 4. m. daily except Sunday;
1890 a. m, daily; $50 p. M, daily.
and 1920 p. NJ, daily except Sunday.
Steamer Virginia leaves 7:i0 n. M,
daily except Sunday for Norfolk and
Portsmouth; 1925 n. M, daily for
Norfolk, and 5:35 y. m, daily, for
Norfolk and Portsmouth.
Cali on Mr.. L. w. Robinson, Ticket
Agent, Newport News Va, for the
lowest rates by any possible route to
the West and Southwest.
w. O. WARTHEN. Dist Pass. ACT.
II. w. FULLER. Genl. Pass. Agt.
c. f. DOYLE. General Manager.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1905-12-08
merchenta' and MIners' Transportation
Coo Steampship Llnre for Boston
Providence and Baltimore,

Leave Newport Newa, via Norfolk
for Boston every Tuesday. Wednes
lay. FRIDAY and Sunday Leaves fu
Providence every Monday. Thursda
ind Saturday. calling from Norfolk q
90 p Tn.
Leave Newport Newe for Baitimoi
ally. except Tuesday and Wednrsd.
6 p m. connecting for WhsbiDgto,
Philadelphia and New York
Fare TO Baltimore, one way es o.
r'no trip. $500, Including staieruo,.
.r'h Accommodating aud cuia,u
eQualled
Freight and passengers raaen for a.
mt North and South Stramr,
ave baltimore foot Of l1ua doc.
lily pronpil, al sp IN
Only line running n Sunday Nt-anie
't"eru New;nr, News and Raltlmor
s." further information apply t.
l. e SAUNDERS, As.ni
Newpcr: News p
" r TURNER G p. a
q WHITNEY A D STERRIN..
"a VP ct d Gent NGr
General once Pals,mnre Md
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1905-12-08
Baltimore Produce Market.

BALTIMORE. MD. Dec. 7.-Flonr-
Firmer; winter patent. 430M450;
prinG clear patent, 445M490.
Wheat--Firmer; spot contract, sc l.:
ISIS; spot No. ., red western. SSMI-4:
ionthern by sample, 10MS0.
Corn-Firmer; spot new. 5it94G3.S;
outhern white corn new, 44M51
Oats-Firmer; No. 2 mixed. 35 hid
Butter-Steady, unchanged: fancy
imitation, 21@ 1-2; fancy creamery, .;
g2G; fancy ladlo, 1890: storepacked
5M16.
Eggs-F.rm, unchanged; 90.
Cheesc-Strady. unchanged; larC,
'ept., IA: Nov. 13 Sd; medium Sept
4; Nov, Is 81; small, Is 3-4.