davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
Sharp Rebuke From ChoIIy.

Cholly-I was WEAKLY seveah with a
wude fellah on the street cab today.
Dolly-What did you do, Cholly?
Cholly-Well. y see, the chap kept
staring at me horribly. So | finally
fixed my monocle upon him and said:
Il say, me man, you must be dev'lish
hahd up for something to look at, y
know" / could see he was awfly
cut up, for he said: 81 guess that's
right"
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
Don't You Think That Jared Him?

Miss Sharpe-Vera," he began,
you must know why I've been calling
here so much; why l sit here in the
parlor with you night after night"
II suppose, Mr.. Kloseman," the girl
interrupted, cts cheaper to do that
than take me out anywhere. "-Catho-
lie Standard and Times.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

Bah Jove, old fel, l was wanting
to see you, you know. had just had
my man call you up at your apart
ments, but got no answer. Not home,
I suppose?"
"Oh yes, deah boy. But, you know,
my man doesn't like to answer the
phone when | am there myself. He
says it puts him too much in the light
of serving man. don't cher know.
And, of course. | could not think of
doing it myself when he's theah, old
fell" replied Spendthrift.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
Further information Wanted.

She-How did you spend your time
while you were away?
Her Husband-I counted the min
utes until could see you again.
She-Um-that would not take
long. What did you do with the min
utes after they were counted?
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
Wrist-Hold on the Hammer.

Among the recent patents of minor
importance is an ingenious little at
tachment for the use of the artisan
who has to WELD hammer for many
hours at time. While the practiced
arm soon becomes hardened to this
unusual strain, that in the novice soon
ripples the muscles, there is no rea-
on why this strain should be borne
the muscles when mechanical
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
Voice Culture.

Baby heard Leila say that one of
the girls in the choir had strained her
voice. A few days afterward Leila
went into the kitchen and there on
the floor sat Baby, holding the tea
strainer to her lips and singing
through 1t.
"Oh, Baby she said, put up the
tea-strainer."
But Baby answered, "No, I'm strain
ing my voice. Little Chronicle.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
More Serious Than He Thought.

DR.. Wipe-No, you haven't got ap-
pendicitis. Booze is all that ails you
stop your drinking and you'll soon
be we'll
Lushington-Great heaven, doc
don't say that. Why l had no idea it
was so serious. | thought that all
needed was an operation or two.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
A lonu-Felt Want.

I've gE patentable idea that |
expect to make a fortune out OF"
said the local inventor.
What tis?" queried the party with
the rubber habit.
"A scarfpin shield that will prevent
a young man from getting tangled up
in his best girls hair" answered the
genius.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

A Sioux City, Iowa, man has applied
for an injunction to restrain lady
who lives next door to him from cook
ing onions. Now, here is a case for
the champions of personal liberty to
become aroused over.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

"A rich, nice, young nobleman" adj
vertises in a New York Personal"
that he would marry "a very beautiful,
honest lady" And the doesn't say
word about requiring a fortune! He
ought to get some mail.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
He Was Satisfied.

Sister-What! You engaged to
Miss Prettyun Why, she has no fam
lily tree!
Brother-Oh, ! guess she has--and
judging from her appearance it must
be peach!
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

A Mississippi postmaster Ia much
vexed because the government will not
permit him to resign. What will puz-
zle other postmasters throughout the
country is that the man appears to
be entirely sane in other respects.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
IT..

Cholly Sappey-"Such an odd girl,
don't y know. When she was intro
duced to me she burst out laughing"
Miss Peppery-"Yes, she's hysteri
CAL"
Cholly Sappey-"Aw-really?"
Miss Peppery-"Yes, she frequently
laughs at nothing"
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
After the Party.

The Sister-She was fishing for
compliments, as usual.
The Brother-Well, don't know
what she was fishing for, but she
seems to have landed that fellow who
used to call on you.-Detroit Tribune.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

Every young married woman should
krow how TO make bread" said
writer on economics. Yes; and every
young man should know how to fur
nish the dough.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

It is interesting to learn that no
present danger confronts the Canadi-
an falls at Niagara. The worst that is
likely to happen soon is the stoppage
of the cataract on the American SIDE.
That's all.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

A Child philosopher" has disap-
peared from his home in Boston.
President Eliot of Harvard has taken
q great interest in him and Boston is
all wrought up. We can't see why the
loss of one child philosopher should
cause much of a commotion in that
town.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

That New York physician who is
trying to start crusade against long
dresses may as well give it up. He
will have no better success than the
late Mrs. Bloomer had.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
An ImpoIite Bill Collector.

Hunter say, when can you find
it convenient to pay that little bill?
I've called at your place at least half
a dozen times.
Fox-And thereby betrayed your un-
familiarity with polite customs. Hav-
ing made one call, you should have
waited until it was returned before
making another.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
Bridqet's Triflina Mistake.

Lady-For goodness sakes, Bridget,
what kind of green's are these?
Bridget-The spinage was fed to the
COW by mistake, ma am, so cooked up
one O. them parlor palms. The guests
won't know the difference.
Lady-But, Bridget! Those palms
were artificial.-Detroit Free Press.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

A prominent New York business
man is going to build $4,000 per-
COLA. If any ignorant person asks you
what a pergola is, tell him you don't
know, but you rather think it is a
place to keep fine plants in.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
Automatic Coupler for Airbrakest

On a model of recently invented
automatic buffer coupling attached to
two model cars now being exhibited
in London the coupling not only con-
meets the vehicles, but at the same
time couples the air brakes. The out
standing feature of the invention is
that no lever is required to complete
the act OF coupling. the whole opera
ton being perfectly automatic. The
attachment has both an up and down
and lateral movment. thus adapting
itself to loaded or empty cars and to
sharp curves. The model, in fact,
shows the cars on two chain curve,
more acute than any English or CONT
rental curves in existence. II is also
said no alteration in the general con-
struction of rolling stock is necessary
to afflx the attachment to present
equipment
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

Cassie Chadwick may have the con-
ISOLATION of knowing that Sophia Beck,
her successor in the center of the
stage, is not nearly so bright finan-
cier.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
His Sense of RESPONSIBILITY.

you don't quote me exactly" said
the statesman.
Certainly not" answered the conf
dent reporter. IF l had confined my
self to your remarks the paper would
not have considered the article worth
printing"
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

Thank heaven, the Thaw-Nesbit
romance" will now stay out of the
papers for a while. Here's hoping
that it won't show up next in the di-
vorce court.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

means can be devised to relieve them,
or, at least, distribute the strain
among muscles better alberto resist it.
The attachment consists Of a wrist
band, carrying sling. adapted to re-
ceive the hammer handle, which has
sufficient play to permit of free
movement of the hammer within the
limits of practical requirements.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

The Rev. John Balcom Shaw advo-
Gates admitting women to the priest
hood. The suggestion comes late.
Women always has been a ministering
angel.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
Enterprise.

Nordy-"Gasberry is such an en-
terprising chap. Always first in the
field!"
Butts-"What's he done now?"
Nordy-"S Started a school of CORE
spondence to teach people to conduct
schools of correspondence"
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

An Ohio murderer spent his last
hours on earth playing guitar. He
was probably anticipating his golden
harp.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
Adoptions.

Don't you think that some men
make a mistake in adopting politics
as a career?"
yes; but it isn't as serious as the
mistake that politics makes in adopt.
ing some men as its representatives"
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
Handle

His Wife-The baby is awfully
backward about learning to talk
Her Husband-Perhaps you don't
give him a chance, my dear
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
Rightly Defined.

Teacher-What are the three per-
sonal pronouns?
Pupil-He. she, and it.
Teacher-Give an example of their
use.
Pupil-Husband, wife, and baby.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

A statistician has found that "only
five of every business men succeed"
But he hasn't figured in the get-rich-
quick contingent.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
One Secret She Keeps.

"She says she knows few things
about you, but she refuses to tell what
they are"
Eyes; she's referring to few truth
full remarks | made about her."
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
Practical Girl.

why do you waste so many hours
on identifying devices?" inquired the
old-fashioned woman. why not de-
viate that time to thinking beautiful
thoughts?"
. "Oh. fudge!". retorted the modern
damsel MY beau isn't a mind-read-
err"
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

The Savannah Press says that Lilly
Langtry as a grandmother sounds bet
ter" But does the Jersey Lily look
any better?
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
Whiffs of Sprinq.

"The scribe's pen has set the whole
village agog."
rs it so POWERFUL"
Age! The villagers say that unless
it be removed they will poison the
hogs 1"
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

Richmond. Va, has adopted an or
dinance prohibiting the exhibition of
artificial legs. How about the real ar
t;cles, though?
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

"The School for Husbands" is the
name of a new comedy by Stanislaus
STANCE. 1t probably means the break
fast table.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

Ever since the first woman shook
the first rolling pin at her husband
woman's clubs have been a menace to
married men.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

Vermont declares her maple sugar
crop is short, but that is impossible
while the supply Of graduated sugar
holds out
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
The First Consideration

where are you going to take your
yacation?"
81 don't know. want TO be sure
I'm going to get it before I decide
Where I'm going to take ir"
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
EXCHANGE of Condolences.

Husband during the honeymoon
was awfully nervous when / pro-
posed to you. 1 was afraid you would
not accept me.
Wife-And / was awfully nervous
for weeks before you proposed. !
was afraid you wouldn't.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
She Is So Liqht-Headed.

81 wonder why Mamie will load her
hat with such a lot of trimmings?"
Probably to keep her head from
blowing away"
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
Improbable.

Editor (severely)-Don't you know
enough to write facts instead of fic-
ton in this paper?"
Cub Reporter-Why, sir, my story
tells just what happened.
Editor-Tells what happened? Why,
here in the first paragraph you say
that an automobile was going slowly
down the street.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

Andrew Carnegie says that the
wealthy man is a slave. So is the
married man, and yet men continue
to sigh, and always will, for wealth
and marriage.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

And now will Mr.. Edward Atkinson
kindly tell us how much a man ought
to spend a year for clothes?
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

An Ohio man dropped dead while
eating a piece of pie. Lucky fellow!
He died happy.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
Sounded Ominous.

Paw Hoptoad-I see this bigamist
Hoch is liable TO get a habeas cor
pus.
Nav HoptOad-Well, l don't feel
sorry if he does. There amt nuthin'
too bad fer a man like him.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
All CHANGED.

How about Miss Sneering?" in
quired the returned traveller. 81 sup
pose you are still friends?"
mo. indeed" replied Snarley; why,
we've been married over a year."
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

A continuous bath is said to produce
excellent results in insanity. To be
sure. Continuous submersion, if deep
enough, will cure any case of insan-
ity.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

The telephone "hello!" in Japanese
is ''moshi, moshr" The busy signal
must be something Earring.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

Too often it is the cooks, rather
than the children, that are the de
stroyers of home life"
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

wealth is slavery" Watch us kiss
our chains.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

Any married man who thinks that
the dressing-on-$65-a-ye theory is all
right has only to consult his wife.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
His Nasty Diq.

His Nasty Dig.
Mrs. GolswiZzer-"Ourn new cook is
deaf and dumb old maid"
Mr.. Goldwizzer-"What else is the
matter with her besides being deaf
mute?"
Mrs. G.-"Nothing at all"
Mr.. Citizen | can't understand
why she's an old maid"
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
G. A. LIsK, Publisher

The hour-glass figure will be con-
venient for young mans arm.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

ty of the table, as shown in the cut.
Then, when the table is not doing
service as a stove the leaf may be
turned over the top and will hide the
opening under which the lamp is
placed. Dropped at the side, 1t may
be used as shield to keep the light
Of the lamp from the eyes of the pa
tient.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13
At the SeWinu Circle.

Mrs. Cutter-What do you do when
you husband goes on a tear?
Mrs. Stitcher-Oh, / just let him
rip!
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-05-13

A cargo of yeast cakes might help
some of those flying machines to rise.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-13

Tower and Brilliant proved to be greatly tremely rough journey all the way and Dr. Spruill failed to run his race Jockey J. Mcintyre who has been riding at City Park, was allowed to ride at the rival track today. Before the last race. Bull finch was sold by S. c. Hildreth to R. H. Clark. his trainer, for $500. The horse ran and won in Hildreth's color but in Clarks name. The weather cloudy; track fast
 First race. selling, five and one-half l, won; Many Thanks. 1e6 tCherry), 5 to 1. second: Arch Oldham. 10S U4. Jones), b to l. third. Time :07 3-5
 Second race. mile, sellng-Bourke Cock ran. 112 tGreenfieldD, to 1. won; Gladiator 10l fFreeman), 12 to 1, second; Tower, 112 CHilD, to ?, third Time 1:43.
 Third race, seven furlongs-Monaco Maid. 97 (Chandler). 8 to 1. won; Lucky Chance. 100 (J. McIntyre). to 1. second; Tornehello, 97 (McGee), 10 to 1, third. Time 117.
 Fourth race, six furlongs- 112 (O'NeilD, : to l. won; Remallo, 101 CHelgeron), 1 to l, second; Horse Radish, 10i (Feicht), 15 to 1, third. Time 1:13 4-5.
 Fifth race, mile. selling-Mr. Jack. 1Ol tKeyes). to l. won: Fairbury, 102 (Free- man). IS to 5, second; Fred Hornbeck. go (W McGee), to 1. third Time 1 AZ 1-5. Sixth race mile Bullfinch. 106 tFreeman) even. won: Dolinda, 107 (Perkins), to 1, second; Ethics, 112 Nvingston), 13 to 5. third. Time Al.
 Fair crounds Entries.
 First race. six furlongs. purse $4oo-Lu-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-13

zines and boilers. stoves and other parts were put under the surface from a dis tance of ten to thirty feet and much time was spent on that part of the work.
 Nearly all the machinery in connection with the engine and boiler department has been installed and a large number of worlxmon are engaged in fitting up the steam pipes. The immense stack has been erected. It stands 160 feet high and has an inside diameter of seven feet. It was finished recently.
 Another large gang of workmen is en- gagged on the construction of the stock house, which will be 34 by 400 feet. There are two sixteen-foot trestles to be erected but the entire house will be finished by the middle of January. It's nearest neigh Dor, the cast house, was finished several days ago. and the roof Is now being put on. The Mountain City Roofing company received this contract.
 The capacity of the furnace will he about 175 tons per day, and the owners think that Chattanooga will supply a ready market for it's output. It is the intention of the owners to have the fur mace complete in every detail, and 1t will be operated on strict economic principles.
 It is probable that the furnace would have been ready to blow fin by the first of January had the scarcity of labor not effected the progress of the construction Superintendent Bowling stated yesterday afternoon that there had never been q time since the work had started that it was possible to secure as many men as were needed and that the common labor which was obtainable was not reliable There are about 150 men working at the furnace now fully 50 per cent of which skilled machinlsts.
 The furnace is being erected under the direction of John Bowling, who is one of the oldest furnace men in the south. He came to Chattanooga in 1878 and remained here several years, operating the old fur mace which stood where the new one is being erected He then went to the Bir mngham district. where he remained for over fifteen years. He was superintend- ent of several large furnaces for the Lacey-Bue< company, and was also con- nected with the Tennessee Coal, Iron and Railroad company at one time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-13
FURNACE ALMOST
 READY F0R BLAST New Chattanooga Stack Will
 be a Model 1T IS STRICTLY MODERN  Chattanooga Blast Furnace Go. Con- trolled by Birmingham Man and Birmingham Man Is Superin-
 tending It's Construction.
IT IS STRICTLY MODERN

Chattanooga, December 12.-(Speclal)- J.
 blast furnace will be completed and ready to blow in For the past six months the Chattanooga Blast Furnace company,
 of which c. E. Buck of Birmingham is
 the majority stockholder, has been con
 structing the plant. and while this will not be the largest furnace in the south, there will be none more complete. It has been built with a special view of making 1t modern in every sense of the word.
 When the first work was started last summer it was thought that the new fur mace would be ready by the first of the new year, and the promoters laid their plans to have the work started very promptly. However, there has been two or three unavoidable delays in the rapid progress of the work which, coupled with the marked scarcity of labor, finds the plant today at least two months away from the time originally set for completion.
 Three of the four stoves have been completed and are ready for the com mencement of operations. The lining on II, and it is expected that six weeks more work will be requiped to finish it. Three of the stoves have all been rebuilt from the remains of the old furnace and are really better than new ones would be. The fourth one is new.
 The big furnace is now nearing com pletion and 1t Is confidently expected that the last work will be put on 1t dur ing the next two weeks. Most of the furnaces entirely new and it is said to be one of the best constructed pieces ever erected in the south.
 One of the most intricate parts of the work. and upon which the success of the entire plant depends, is the new skip hoist which is now being installed. The skip hoist extends from the top of the furnace and so minimizes the labor that three men can operate the furnace, whereas twenty men were employed un- der the old system. The skip hoist is q new departure in the manu- fracture of iron. There are only five in the south, the first being adopted by the Trussvile furnace only a few years ago. The new furnace at Enslcy re- gently completed by the Tennessee Coal, Iron and Railroad company is similarly equipped, while there are two other fur naces in the Birmingham district which have the new device. It is being in- stalled by the Grown Hoist. Machinery of Cleveland, Ohio
 Nearly all of the excavation work around the furnace has been completed. and with the exception of cstern. which is now in course of construction. and the excavation at the bottom of tho, skip hoist, this part of the work has been completed The foundations for all the stock and cast houses, furnace, en-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-13
Negro Woman's Terrible Death.

Columbus. Ga. December 12.-(Special) A horrible fate overlook Ann Peters. an old negro woman in Girard, Ala. yes terday. She was nearly 90 years of age and partly paralyzed. The house caught fire in some way, and the flames overlook her as she was trying to hobble to the door The house and contents were conn pletely destroyed. Searchers among the coals and ashes saw human ribs project ing from coals. A man used hoe to rake out the remnants what was only d few minutes before human body from the embers. One of her arms and both of her feet were burned completely off, and the flesh was burned off her head and back. the bones being exposed. The position of the body indicated that she was trying to crawl to the open door when overcome by the heat.
 
 Say "No" when a dealer offers you substitute for Hoods Sarsaparilla. Insist upon Hoods.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-13
A Weak Heart

Seldom gets strong again with out help. Awake or asleep, it never stops, and consequently has no period of rest or relaxa- ton in which to regain lost wig or. You should avoid exertion, excitement and worry as much as possible, to relax the strain, and take Dr. Miles Heart Cure, which is a heart tonic, to strengthen and restore vigor to the heart nerves and muscles. The symptoms of a weak heart are shortness of breath, palpi- tation, feeble or too rapid pulse, hungry spells, hot flashes, dig ziness, smothering spells, pain in heart or side, etc.
 T had been treated for heart disease by different physicians without any Improvement: Finally my doctor in formed me that there was little hope of my ever being able to do days work again. About that time a gentle of your condition. and have come to tell you that Dr. Niles Heart Cure saved my life, and l want you to try it.. did so and after a week or so l went to my physician and told him I had been taking Dr. Miles Heart Cure. Ie examined me and said. God bless Miles Heart Cure. it has made you better in a few days than ever ex- pected to see you again I am now well. having fully regained my health by the use of this remedy"
 E. R. LANSING, Rensselaer,, N. Y.
 pr. Mlies' Heart Cure Is sold by your druggist, who will guarantee that the fret bottle will benefit. if 1t fails he will refund your money.
 Miles Medical G., Elkhart, Ind