The Hartford republican. (Hartford, Ky.) 18??-1926, 1905-06-16
VILLAGE LOAFERS.
National Association of Mar
rows Holds Meeting.
Rank of Thirty-Third Degree
Conferred on Entire
Membership.

to write in my next letter of the
grand principles of the National AS
ISOLATION of Village Loafers report
the speeches of Park, Kirby and
others but our meeting Saturday
was so rich in incident that | regard
it duty to the Association as well
as to your readers to report it.
President Park opened the meet
ing according to ritual, and the roll
call showed forty-nine members
present. A small group of men,
bers in far corner of the hall was
holding whispered conference, and
refused to come to order. IF you
have a grievance" said President
Park, addressing the group, come
up to the chair and state it," The
men advanced sullenly toward the
chair, George Foreman acting spokes-
man said, "Mr. President, | regret
to announce that we have formed a
separate association. to be known as
the Non-Producers' League Of Amer
lea. We ask, sir, for an honorable
demit." Whence this schism?
How justify division in our below
ed association" demanded President
Park. "Dishonorable dismention in
the public press" said Foreman, lis
the cause of it, sir. Your secretary
wrote for the papers what purport-
ed to be an honor roll of the asso-
citation, and my name, sir, where
were it? And where were Lonnie
Phillips name, and he charter
member? Where were Bob Duff's
name and Bob haint worked none
for years? And where were bud
Foreman's name, and bud never
left before the regular closing hour
(sundown) in his life? And Bill
Murphy's name, where were it?
None of us pointing to his crowdD
were mentioned. We're the Non
Producers League of America now
and our secretary will do us justice.
Who'll sell your cigars for your"
shouted groceryman Armendt. Pink
Petty has joined our league" retort-
ed Foreman, land he is going to get
our cigars off for dime apiece"
Endless concessions were offered
to induce the Non-Producers not to
secede; but smarting under the sting
of wounded pride they held out till
Carson Park arose. Carson don't
arise often only at noon and night
unless the emergency is great. All
eyes were upon the speaker.
Through economy of energy Carson
is sententious and monosyllabic.
Everyone knew something short,
pithy and to the point was going to
be said if indeed, he did not yet
forego the effort of saying it. He
stood outstanding his energy as a
thing he was loathe to part with, and
was in the act of setting down with
out utterance when there arose a
shout Go on" Go on" Thus
urged he raised his hand slowly, till
it pointed toward the schismatics,
and said Gentlemen of the Non
Producers League of America,
where are you going to get your
'chawin' tobacco?" All eyes were
kturned toward j. H. Thomas, who
now acted well his part by pulling
a whole twist of two-year-old hill
side. The effect was magical. The
Non-Producers' League dissolved
like spoon of sugar in toddy
glass.
1t having been ordered at for
mer meeting that degrees, ranking
up to the thirty-third, be established
for the association members Eu-
gene Kirby moved that committee
be appointed to rank the members
according to their deserts. To save
trouble motion was made and car
ried to adopt the report of the COM
mittee before it was made. The
chair appointed Eugene Kirley and
John Renfrow on the committee.
While the committee was out Hays
Brown was called on for speech. ION
how to save the country from pluto
Gratis" Comrade Brown (the Presi-