davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20
l1r. BoWSeT
AS a Poser
Mrs. B. Held Out Lots Of En-
cOuragement and Obligingly
Draped His Toga.
TRIED TO HIDE MIRTH,
Neighbors Game In and Caught Him,
However, and God Of War Was
TUNED Loose Again.
TRIED TO HIDE MlRTH.

w THEN dinner had been con.
M cluded the other evening
w Mr.. Bowser made q break
for the library and dlsap-
pearcd for the next quarter Of an hour
When he reappeared he had volume
Of encyclopedia In his hand and said:
IL have been trying to find out some
thing about Napoleon, but can't get
just what want
and what particular thing did you
want?" asked Mira. Bowser.
81 want TO know how lie used to
dress"
"Why, in war he wore uniform, Of
course, and in peace he wore a swal'
low tailed coat most Of the time. He
wasn't much ON dress, you know"
Didn't he wear n toga or cloak
somctlmcsY
Yes, l think have seen him pie
tured in both. Why do you ask the
questions?"
Il suppose you will set in and call me
an old fool. as you always do, but the
fact is the Il. aud T. club are going to
g3ye an entertainment soon, and they
wanted me TO pose for few figures"
And what is the Il. and I. club?'
THE Bowling and Theatrical club"
"Oh, l see. l didn't know but that
It was the Beef and Trlpc club"
That's it-go ahead with your sar
cusm." exclaimed Mr. Bowser ms his
face began TO redden up.
II have no sarcasm to utter, Mr.
BOwser. ON the contrary, I think 1t
good Idea and will encourage and as
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20
R ode On The Roof For Fun.

Macon, Mo-, July 12.-The con-
ductOr on No. Al, westbound
Burlington train, wired the opera
tor here yesterday to have officers
at the station to arrest man who
persisted in riding on the rear
coach and would not obey orders
to come down. When the train
pulled in a constable and a police
man were there with a hose at
tarhed TO the station hydrant.
Don't squirt; ri come down, "
sail the man on the roof.
"What in the Sam Hill did you
get up there fOr2" asked the con-
stable
"TO get a ride.
Well, YOU will have to 60 over
to the squire $"
That's all right. I've got the
price," said the roof traveller.
The squire told him it would
cost So to set tie the whole account.
The man pulled out roll of bills,
as big as an autOm Obile tire, hand
ed over S. and than gave each OF
the men who arrested him a S.
bill. lie said his nome was Joha
+. Brown and that he was on his
way from New Jersey to the Kan,
sas harvest fields.
"Of course it isn't any of my
business" said the justice, "but il
you'd care to humOr my little Gu.
riOsity you might tell why you
ride a car roof when you got the
money TO travel inside"
Mr.. Brown grinned.
So me fellows like automobiles
and some like to shoot the chutes, -
he said. Il tried to make a dickeT
wit h them to let me go through on
the roof, but my money was nc
good to ride there. You see, a few
weeks ago | read an actor mans
yarn about riding the roof of the
fast mail, and it struck me that
was something new. He said be
had to hang on with his arms
around the fue, while his legs
dangled in the air like red shirt
on a clothes line. Well, it was moi
quite that bad, but it wasn't fal
off. got enough cinders in mJ
hair TO ballast the roadbed into
Kansas City, and | can even nov
feel the wind climbing in between
my clothes and me. But say, boys, il
is worth the price" a,r.
Mr.. Brown continued his west,
ward journey with a sleeper ticket
travelling inside.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

and a fluent and charming
writer, whoss ready and kind
ly wit sparkled like flashes of
sunlight.
Resolved, That while we
deplore the early death of
this gracious woman whose
life, like a beautiful flower,
brought joy and gladness to
all around her, and was not
left to whittier on the stalk
but was transplanted in its full
glory and splendor, from its
earthly setting to the borders
of the River of Life in the
Paradise Of God, we are CRATE
full that the memory of its en-
chanting loveliness, remains as
an abiding inspiration.
Owe see but dimly through
the midst and vapors.
Amid these earthly damps,
What seems to us but sad,
funeral tapers,
May be heavens distant
lamp
Resolved, That we hereby
extend our heartfelt sympa-
thies to the bereaved husband
and family; and that these
resolutions be placed on the
records of the. Wednesday
Club land be sent to the Mex
leo papers for publication.
Mrs. w. l.. Reed,
Mrs. HIP. Warden,
Mrs. j. f. Llewelly,
Mrs. j. \. Guthrie.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

your stand between the portieres."
Mr.. Bowser moved TO his place Ike
wooden man, and the cat followed ana
took advantage of his helpless situation
to rub against his legs and scratch at
his slippers with his claws. Mrs. Bow
ser went down to the kitchen to get
drink OF water and choke over 1t, and
was absent ten minutes. When she re-
turned Mr.. Bowser demanded:
do you think can be George Wash
lngton all nlght?"
Il wanted you to catch and preserve
the true expression, you see" she re-
oiled. "You may now be yourself for
moment. suppose there are other
chnractersT
yes. They want me to represent the
ancient god of war Of the Greeks, but L
have no idea how the blamed thing
ought TO look. reckon the toga ought
to come in somewhere"
"Of course. We must use 1t In oil the
figures. Timber up your legs and then
we'll begin on the new figure"
"Wasn't the Greek god Of war taller
than l ann" he asked as he walked
about.
ayes, rather, but you can stand on
Webster's Dictionary to increase your
height You should also bare both
arms TO the shoulders. Now, stand
with your right leg advanced and your
right arm raised. will place this
paper knife I'm your hand. l will draw
second line under your eyes ana
down your nose and touch up the
corners of your mouth. Now, assume
bloodthlrsty expression Of counte'
nance"
This wayW
more ferocious than that"
GLOW win this dO?"
mot enough. You are a god Of war,
remember. You are out after gore.
There-thats the way. Keep that ex-
preston for Eve minutes and your for
tune will be made"
The expression assumed by Mr.. Bow
ser was simply diabollcal, and after
standing 1t for sixty seconds the cat
took safety I'm flight and Mrs. Bowser
had to visit the kitchen again. She
was Just returning upstairs when
Green and his wife entered by the
front door They were nclghbors and
did not have to so through the formal
ity Of ringing the bell. They were nc
sooner inside the house than they
caught sight of Mr.. God Of War Bow
ser and his murderous lecr, and after
a moment Of establishment they gave
way to laughter. Mrs. Green fell into
q chair and her husband on the floor
and poor Mrs. BOwser could no Longer
contain her own merriment. 1t tool
Mr.. Bowser about fifteen seconds t.
size up the situation, and then things
began to happen. The toga was flung
the length of the parlor; then q kicl
was made at the cat, which would have
left him mangled corpse had he no
lodged. Then a chair was upset,
score of swear words spit out in rapi(
succession, and Mr. Bowser got int
his coat and vest, picked up his ha
OH the way down the hall, and in an
other moment was outdoors. Then tn
god Of war turned loose, and the peopl
looking out of the window saw hin
tackle an automobile going past anC
follow in its dusty trail until both wer
around the corner. That he eventual!
overlook it and massacred the tire
people in it there can be no sort O
doubt. NJ. QUAD.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

The Hann0ld Hose Coupler
Manufacturing Co. of Mexico, as
we have limited before, threatens
to become one of the biggest enter.
prises of our city. They have
three inventlons-a fire hose coup
Ter, a locomotive water connection
and Il shop coupler for pipes or
hose connection. Zach of these de
vice is perfection in itself. They
are manufacturing t h device
right along and soon, it is expect
cd, there will be calls for the CON
triyance beyond any ability,under
present circumstances, to supply
them. L h Hicks Locomotive
Works ut Chicago recently order
ed 600 Of the couplers. Mexico
should look into this matter and
offer every encouragement for
the Hannold Hose Co. to remain
III Mexico.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20
MISSOURI is SLOW.
Our Lands Worth as Much or More
Than Those of Iowa, Illinois or
Kansas

Kansas City, Mo-, July 49,
The county clerks of Missouri be.
gan their annual session at the
Midland hotel here to-day, 1t will
last until Thursday afternoon.
James l., Phelps of Kansas City
is president of the state associa
ton.
Thomas 4. Crittende n, Jr,, for
mer Democratic county clerk OF
Jackson county, who delivered
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

w AMI bONN'
sist you in every possible way. If you
are going to pose as a living picture Of
Napoleon you had better do 1t in to-
ga. 1t will give your figure more grace.
l see no reason why you shouldn't
make q great hit"
That's the way to talk. That's more
sense than I've heard you utter In n
month of Sundays. When you encour-
age me that way I'm bound to succeed.
Do you think l look like Napoleon in
the fuceT"
"Yery much so. That's one reason 1
married you"
But am 1 too fat in the body and
legs"
Not at all. Napoleon grew very fat
after time, you know. l should say
you were just about right. Did you
bring home toga to practice withF
"N-n-o-that Is, l did; but, thinking
you would make fun of me, left 1t out
in the Yestibule. I'll bring 1t in, and
you can do the draplng while pose.
BY John, but you are a good wife to
help me in this thing! l thought you'd
begin to make fun of me right from the
start"
Mrs. Bowser's conscience gave her a
hard twinge, but she had made up her
mind not to oppose Mr.. Bowser in any
thing he did that evening. When he
returned with the toga, which he had
hired of a theatrical costumer, he re-
moved coat and vest, and Mrs. Bow
ser proceeded to drape. When he was
ready he was posltioned I'm the parlor
and the pOrtieres arranged so as to
show only his face and one shoulder,
and Mrs. BOwser kept him thus for
five long minutes. When his knees be-
gan to wabble under the strain she
said:
You may move up and down the
parlor now, but don't let your shout
ders drop down or your back hump up;
also keep that stern look on your face,
as IL you were at the battle of Water
loo. The cat Is following you, but don't
mind him"
Napoleon Bonaparte Bowser paraded
up and down with his heart in his
mouth, and when he had reached the
back parlor doors for the fifth time
Mrs Bowscr clapped her hands and eX-
claimed:
Admirable! Admirable! One would
think Napoleon had returned to life.
You win certainly make the hit of the
evening, and we shall see your name
In all the papers tomorrow"
"Then will pass for Napoleon, eh?''
be proudly querled.
pass? Why, you will astonish every
body. Are there any more characters
you are going TO pose forP'
"They wanted me to be George Wash
inyton, but don't see how can
Washington and Napoleon didn't look
alike"
Perhaps not, but we must make
them. Let me rednpe you and then
touch up your face with this crayon
The toga Is ali right. Washington al
ways wore a toga In battle, as he was
superstftlous about having buttons shot
OF his coat tails viii draw a back line
under each eye and down your nose
and then you must assume patriotic
expression. Let your mouth twist
around to one side as il you had 9
touch Of collie. That's the very thing
and you mpgta't alter t. Non TAXI
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

f. G. Spence, at Thompson,
tells tie MESSAGE that be has
bought half interest in the vehi-
Gle brake, invented by John Bur-
ton, of near Jonesburg, Mo. We
have read Il partial description of
the. device, aud it appears to us
one of the best inventions in its
line we have ever noticed. II is
simple and inexpensive, and every
farmer should have one. The brake
is automatically applied when de-
scending a hill or grade and is
released when there is forward
pull or strain on the draft de,
vices. Mr.. Spence expects to
push the sale of the invention aud
will also sell territory. He has
good thing and ~ hope to see him
meet With big sales.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

There was spent last year about
$50, 900 for public school libraries
in Missouri. This is Il fraction
more than Sc per child Many dis.
tricts spent several times that
amounts Others spent nothing. 1t
is hoped that every district board
will enforce the law and not spend
less then sc per child. The amount
I" be spent for the coming year
SHOULD be twice that Of last year.
Nothing will improve the schools
more than a supply of good sup
Elementary books.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

Home men with capital mighg
with great profit to themselves or.
ganize n life insurance company
in Mexico 1t would keep money
at home. \ Mexico man re-
marked to the MESSAGE the other
day; Local money has been
close all spring and summer.
tell you where most of it goes to
every month-to the Eastern life
Insurance companies. Nearly Cv.
cay man you meet nowadays is IN
sured. and this money, going
east every month, keeps the com
muaity drained"
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

THE committee to raise funds for
the street fair and carnival com
mittee its work yesterday. They
wish to raise 81, 500. This sum- It's
thought, will enable the committee
to offer very Ii beral premiums in
all lines, especially will farm pro-
ducts and stock be given due at
tention in this particular.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20
Wellsville Wants Coal Mine.

Wellsville, Mo-, July II.
A public meeting was held
here this evening for the pur-
pose Of organizing and ope-
rating II coal mine. 1t has
been demonstrated that there
is considerable coal and fire
clay in this section of Missou-
ri. Other towns in this and
Audrain County are m'ang-
ing to prospect for coal.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20
New Church Dedicated.

Centralia, Mo, July 10
The new Christian church at
Hickory Grove, ten miles
south Of this city, was dedica-
ted today. The dedicatory
sermon was delivered by the
Reverend Nj. a. Hart of Full
ton, Mo. The building cost
s., 600. The Reverend w. S.
st. Clair of Columbia is pas
tor.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

tue address of welcome, is native
Missourian and son of Ex.Guy.
Crittenden. He took occasion to
suy few things to the visitors
that Mlssourians do not allow
strangers to say to them. He, SAID,
in part:
"You are loyal MissouriIns, l,
too, love this grand oil state.
From the cradle to the present
hour of my life has been entirely
spent on her fertile soil. 1t is an
empire of wealth along almost ev
cry avenue of its resources. From
every section of this great com
monwealth yoi come, and can ties
tify to its greatness, but VIC must
not deceive ourselves. | am going
to tell you what believe to be
the truth, even if AM criticised
for it. The truth seldom hurts.
1.-THE Missourian has much to
learn, Missouri has been !Onc of
the slow states, Providence has
done much for us, but we have
been sluggish and backward. An
apologist would say that we have
been conservative, l say we have
shown much evidence of lack of
thrift. ask you why it is when
we cross the northern border line
into Iowa we find the farms high
er value, he machinery looking
better, the barns largerl The
soil is 70 better. Go with me 10
the eastern border line, over into
Illinois; you find the same condi-
tons existing. Look over the
Western line into Kansas and you
will find her villages and farms
far more up to date than our owD.
Do we all not know that for sew
eral years the thrifty, progressive
farmers from Iowa and Illinois
have been selling their lands for
high prices and coming to Mis-
souri, and buying cur farms for
half the money-land as good, if
not better, than their OwnE
"Our state capital is a disgrace
to the fifth state in the Union, Our
public schools rank we'll with
our sister states, but it has only
been in recent years that our PEG
pie have really known that they
possessed state university, ard
we do positively know that we
have no football team,
"OkIahoma practically opens
town with electric lights and many
, modern conveniences. The Mis-
souri, hamlet gets them all, after Il
growth of n quarter of century,
| do not criticise Missouri; it is
the Missonrian who needs kicC-
ing off the grass,
"The DAYS are numbered in
Missouri fol tie mossback, The
man who has seen better days in
. slave time and won't work must
: get in the current and go with
the tide, look out for pOsterity
and stop leaning on ancestry"
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

1t is required Of school boards
that they publish synopsis of the
compulsory attendance law in
s1me newspaper Of the district ten
days before school opens, If there
is no newspaper published in the
district, five notices should be
posted.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20
True Philosopher.

Lightning set your barn on fire."
"Yes."
Thunder shook your house down"
THAT'S what"
"Well, how do you feel about it?"
"Thankful that there's still left
enough land on which to shout halle.
a!'-Atlanta Constitution.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

THE Court House should be heat
ed with hot water, and that" toilet
should be a toilet. There should be
Il room furnished as a waiting
room for ladies during court ses-
siOns, too. These improvements
would not cost much, and they are
needed needed badly.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

\ letter from II. NJ. Ray,
who lately spent Il week in
Audrain county talking Far
mcrS' Union, says that order
is progressing nicely in New
ton county. He is State or
ganizer for Missouri and has
appointed Il deputy; the work
took more time than one man
could put into it. There is Il
prosperous organization O
this order at Bean Creek, this
county.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

JOHN u. Orear, Prosecuting At
torney of Audrain, in a written
opinion, like the Galloway County
prosecuting attorney and attorneys
for other counties, constructs the
game law as not compelling a
man TO take out license to hunt
IN his own county.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

Up at Macon City the mer-
chants are investing in automo-
biles and they give the farmers and
their families free rides over the
city when they come to town. The
scheme originated from a feature
of their recent Fourth of July eel
pbration.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20
Notice Of Final Settlement.

Notice is hereby given that Final Set
Element of the estate OF Eliza Ilitz, de-
ceased, will be made at the August term
of the Probate court of Audraln county,
State of Missouri, to be held at Mexico,
Mo, on the second Monday in August,
1905.
THEODORE HITH,
Executor.
Vol 6, No. 81 July 10, 1905
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20
Resolutions of Respect.

Mexico, Mo-, July 10
Whereas, one of the most low
ed members of the Wednesday
Club, Mrs. a. w. Kokendof-
fer, has departed this life Ell v
sian, whose portal we call
death, and our club has for
the first time been admonish-
ed of the transformers OF
this life, by the calling away OF
a member, therefore be it
Resolved, That in the death
of Mrs. Kokendoffer, t h G
this Club has lost a brilliant in
tellect, an accurate student,
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

IRIS going to take the Supreme
Court to settle this muddled ones.
ton regarding the game law. In
the meantime il you are going to
hunt and don't want to run any
risk of trouble, better take ont a
license
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20
His Summer Prosramme

"How do you expect to pass the sum-
mer?"
"Oh, suppose l will pass it as usu-
al" answered Mr.. CumrOX; wish l
had gone somewhere else."-Washing-
ton Star
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

Mr.. Ralph w. Upton, of
near Middletown but a resi-
dent o f this county, and
Miss Blanche Beaver, of Cali
fornia were united in marriage
at the residence of Record
er 5. E. Kendall Tuesday of
this week. Rev. NJ p. Ma
theny officiating. Our con
CALCULATIONS and best wishes
extended the happy couple.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

The country is drifting toward
socialism, EXtortion by public scr
vice corporations is the expIona.
ton.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

The most helpful thing in the
world, for body and mind, i,
work. 1t makes strong the muscle
sweetcns the life and quickenS the
brain. Work, and don't be afraid
of il.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

Democrats in Missouri should
bury the Ratchet, Get together
and work for the peoples inter
cts, put up the best mch in the
party for office and there is NJ
question of how future elections
will 90.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

THE Carnival Committee must
not overlook Offering good liberal
premiums on farm products.
The farmer supplies the world with
things to eat. Don't forget him.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

Missouri's State tax rate, al
ready the lowest of any State IN
the Union, is TO be again reduced.
Grand old Missouri.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

Mayor }. NJ. Sipple has the lid
on at LaddOnia. And he is the
kind Of fellow to keep it on. 'Rah
for Sipplc.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

John Dahlem, Jr., lost a
fine horse by overhead last
Saturday. 1t was one of the
prize winners.at the Fourth of
July horse show
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

Buy farm. Quit raying
rents. Better pay interest and
own some kind of farm.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

The duty Of the public official is
to enforce the law, and the duty of
the citizen is to obey it.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

Cut the weeds along the road
sides; get the weeds wherever you
fluid them.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20
THURSDAY, JULY 20, 1905

Live within you. income, or
you may be tempted to steal
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20
MRS. BOND DROWNED.
Daughter of Bishop Marvin-Hus-
band Known in Audrain.

Nevada, Mo, July 1.-THE
body of Mrs. Bond, wife of the
Reverend II. p. Bond of Faye;te,
was taken to st. Louis this morn
ing for burial in BellefOntaine
cemetery.
Mrs. Bond was drowned in the
lake here Yesterday. She was the
daughter of Bishop Marvin. She
had been in the sanitarium here
several months. Yesterday she
was missed by the nurse and afte
g search it was found that she had
walked into the lake.
She was dead when the body
was found in the lake.
Mrs. Bond was well known
in Mexico and Mr.. Bond
has preached here and at 9th
er places in the county. Mrs.
Bond was Il sister of Rev.
Fielding Marvin, formerly
pastor of t II G Methodist
church of Mexico, and was Il
cousin of j. G.Lakcnan, Miss
Sallie Lakenan, Mrs. l.. Lack
land, Mrs. $. M. Edwards
and Mrs. \. *. Luckie. This
writer met Mrs. Bond and
her husband recently at Ran
dolph Springs and at then
home, Chiffon Hill, Mo. She
w Il $ Il gracious Christian
character and a useful wO-
man.
Mexico Missouri message., 1905-07-20

Vol. 6, No. 81 July 10, 1905.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1905-10-26
Dividing The Time.

Mr. Thomas A Edison inventor says.
having Investigated The subject That
the fact II people eat to- much sleep
too much aud 10 not work puougb
Men eat an .leep th,m-eive- stupid
The facts are that they dol ~, -l.rp
enough. although Il great proportion II
An classe- II peopr eai tuo uluch Ana