davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1905-09-23
TRY TO MIsLEAo DOCTORS
Too Many Patients Refuse to Speak
the Truth as to Their
Ailments.

II was late, the Doctors patients had
either passed away or were mending
and he was sitting with a number Of
his acquaintance in corner OF tbs
clubrocm.
Its strenuous life we lead" droned
the man of medicine, with the grim
sa,ie turned uppermosta as rule, but now
and then we get laugh out of ia
laugh with the lid on, of course; we
can't afford to show we're amused. ]
often WONDER" he went on, genially,
why SINE of you chaps ever send for
a physician. You don't tell him the
truth once in 20 times. You're in bad
way AMI you're sorry, and to hear you
talk I'6 think your mouths were cold
storage boxes for butter. You suspect
that lobster or rich sauce you ate the
day before yesterday is at the bottom
of the trouble. You know what's curled
you up and you're frightened out of a
years growth for fear I'll learn.
Accordingly, instead of taking me
into your confidence you tell me an im-
possible story And if l cross-examine
you closely and hedge you in you'll re-
luctantly admit that you've been some
what irdiscreet. You smoked four ci-
gars Thursday and took six drinks
Doesn't it ever occur to you that
know by your flutters that you smoked
from breakfast to bod and took II
drinks, and six more for good measure
IF l were to believe you and doss
you for your ailment as you describe II
you'd never get well. Now and then
have to give you strychnine and nitro
glycerin to restore the action OF ths
heart, and to listen to you might con
clude that you'd had too much pink ic'
at children's party.
"As / limited, we doctors get SOM
fun out of you, but what do you do i
for? We were not always doctors. VI
haven't always taken the best care O
ourselves, and we're not FOOLS"
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1905-09-23

tend church. etc. Mr.. T. furnished the
timber, the team and the nails, and he
built good houses as he prospered. No
tably among these buildings were good,
convenient pasture fence and two cheap
stables for his COW. The cow was
stalled in one of these and into tie
other he shoveled the manure each day.
Even Mr.. T. was surprised at the great
quantity of manure and its fine condi-
ton. Where he applied it this manure
made two bales of cotton per acre, and
the increase only more than paid the
cid $50 debt.
Mr.. T. has managed his ten-horse
farm this way for five years. His CROP
pers all come and go like clock-work,
without any harangue about who has
got my plowline?" what sort OF a
plow must | get?" and the like OF
worry one has with negroes Mr.. T.,
not having to lead the hands to and IN
the field, does not have to bother Mrs.
+. about such an early breakfast, there
being none but her own family, all oil
whom learn while they help, and the
homework is nice and easy. In case
of sickness or special occasions the
women in a neighborly way assist one
another and Mrs. T. without thought
of compensation.
Now Mr.. B. has pair of good mules
wagon, buggy, good implements, etc.
good dwelling, attractively furnished
with organ, sewing machine and every
| thing else needed. His children are
great help socially and in the churcf
and Sunday school, and bid fair t.
make the best Of citizens. Mr.. b. viii
soon be able to pay for the two-hors
farm, and Mr.. T. says he much pre-
fers a sale to him than to any colon'
or syndicate. Five years ago Mr.. T.
land would not have brought $40. Nov
he can get $25 per acre.
Mr.. T. will accept only 1,50O pound
lint cotton as rent for the two-hors
farm, while other parties whom n
knows would run down the land an
buildings, want it at 5000. His pres
ent rent pays him big interest withou
expense, and the improvements pay
both him and Mr.. Burrell-S. l.. T., i
Southern Cultivator.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1905-09-23
Trait of the Moose Bird.

"The moose bird of our Maine woods
ia a curious bird" said an old hunter.
ayou will find it in almost any part of
the Maine countryside, more particular
" around the hunting camps. have
seen three or four of them at time
come up and sit on the window sill and
look into the camp solemnly and visit
fully. Throw one piece of meat or
other food that is too big for him to
eat and he'll eat all he can hold on the
spot and then carry off the other half.
They say the reason why the little pigs
don't eat it all up is because they can't
balance themselves. 1t appears to be
about the size of bluejay, but really
it is smaller. Its plumage isn't quite as
brilliant as that of blueiay, and 1t is
much more modest and tasteful in mat
.ers of general department. Lewiston
Mel Journal.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1905-09-23
HERE AND THERE.

The acreage in Irish potatoes this
year is reported at 100000, and con-
ditions good in all part sof the nation.
Lining of soil, both as corrective
of sour lands and for the improving OF
ordinary farm lands is a subject To
which some study should be given be-
fore extensive operations are under
taken.
Sorghum is a wonderful plant to
produce a large quantity of feed in
short time. When the wheat has been
threshed. pillow under stubble and plant
sorghum If cut when only half grown
it will make excellent feed for stock in
tbs winter.
Where rich bottom lands are in
cultivation and subject to be washed
by heavy rainfalls and freshets, they
can be largely protected by planting
basket willows. The willows will form
a solid protection on the bank OF the
stream and protect the lands.
One need not become q Crank
because he has pure-bred poultry
There are thousands of people raising
POULTRY for profit land get iD who
| never exhibit and never saw a copy o.
the Standard of Perfection. and DON
know a good exhibition bird when the,
see 1t.
\ Loose, sardy soils are not adapted
/ to the production of alfalfa, though
where there is soil with one-thir'
humus it may grow. There must b
some lime, fair proportion of clay, ant
| il there are the alfalfa may do fairl.
well although one-fourth may be fine
l sandy soil.
Remember that the hog Is an AMI
NAL that must have an abundance Q
drinking water, and it is as esentis
that he has a pool Of water in whic
to battle. He enjoys bath. though
may be half mud because his owne
does not provide better. The poe
should be in the shade.
II The state of Mississippi has adop'
ed. for teaching in the public school
i the little book. Agriculture for b
: ginners," written by Professors Bul
kett, Stevens end Hill, Of North Car
} | lima college, to which an appendix hs
: now been added. which Prof w.
: Massey prepared. on hortiealtnre -
) 0or1cultura
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1905-09-23
oratitude We'll Expressed.

Sault St. Marie, Mich, Aug l4th.-Mr.
C.. l.. Smith, painter. and decorator,
whose home is at 500 Anne street. this
city. makes the following statement
II was laid up with some kind OF
pains. Some said it was Lumbago, others
Sciatica, and others again Rheumatism.
A few of my friends suggested that it was
lead poison, but whatever it was it gave
me great deal of pain. in fact, almost
completely crippled me. / had to use two
canes to walk about, and even then 1t was
a very painful task.
"a friend advised me to try Dodd' 4
Kidney Pills, and ] began the treatment
After 1 had used the FIRST box l was able
considerably improved. The second box
Strengthened me up so that / could &c
about free from pain without any assist
ance, and very soon after was complete
" cured, well and happy, without a pair
or an ache. Dodd's Kidney Pills seemed
to 90 right to the spot in my case, an.
they will always have my greatest praise
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1905-09-23
WHAT TO DO If coNsTIPATED
Q. What is the beginning of sickness!
A. Constipation.

Q. What is the beginning of sickness!
A. Constipation.
0. What is Constipation?
A. Failure of the bowels to carry OIL the
waste matter which lies in the allmentary
canal where it decays and poisons the en-
death under the name of some other dis
ease. Note the deaths from typhoid fever
and appendicitis, stomach and bowel
trouble at the present time.
4 @. What causes Constipation!
A. Neglect to respond to the call of
Nature promptly. Lack of exercise. Elk.
cessiye brain work. Mental emotion and
8. What are the results of neglected
Constipation!
A. CONSTIPATION causes more suffering
than any other disease. 1t causes rheuma-
tsm, colds, fevers, stomach, bowel, KID
ney, lung and heart troubles, etc. 1t Is
the one disease that starts all others. In
digestion, dyspepsia, diarrhea, loss Of
sleep and strength are its symptoms
piles, appendicitis, and 6stula, are caused
BY Constipation. Its consequences are
known to all physicians: but few ): SUIT s
too late. Women become confirmed in
valids as q result of Constipation.
O. Do physicians recognize this!
| A. Yes. The first question your doctor
asks you is "are you constipated" That
is the secret.
O. Can it be cured!
A. Yes, with proper treatment. The
common error is to resort to physics, such
as pills, salts, mineral water, castor oil, In
jections, etc, every one OF which Is IN
| furious. They weaken and increase the
malady. You know this by your own ex
o. What then should be done to cure
A. Use the free coupon below at once
Mull's Grape Tonic will positively curt
Constipation and in the shortest space o.
time. No other remedy has before beer
known to cure Constipation positively ane
permanently.
o. What is Mull's Grape Tonic?
| A. 1t is q Grape Compound that exert
q peculiar healing influence upon the in
testines, strengthening the muscles OF tn
alimentary canal so that they can do theil
work unaided. The process is gradual bu
sure. 1t is not physic. 1t is unlike any
cures Constipation, dysentery and bowe
trouble. Having rich, fruity grape flavor
it is pleasant to take. As hot weathe
l tonic it is unequaled insuring the system
against diseases SO fatal in hot weather
o. Where can Mull's Grape Tonic b
A. Your druggist sells it. The dolla
bottle contains nearly three times the 50
cent size, but if you write to-day you vii
receive the first bottle free with instruc
tons. This test will prove its worth.
WRITE FOR THIS FREE BOTiLl
TO-DAY.
Good for sling children and nursin
| mothers.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1905-09-23
FREE BOTTLE COUPON.

Send. this coupon with your name and
address aud druggists name. Tor Tree pottis
Bowels to
MurL's GRAPE TOXIC Co., 147 Third Ave-,
Rock Island, Ill.
Givs Full Address and Write Plainly
The n 90 bottle contains nearly three times
| the SOC size. At drug stores.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1905-09-23
Their First Cloud.

The young woman in the stern of the
little boat had whispered softly the
word Yes"
"But stay right where you are" she
added, hastily IF you try to kiss me
you'll upset the boat"
How do you know" hoarsely demand
ed Jack, horrible suspicion already TAX
ing possession of him. Chicago Tribune.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1905-09-23
International.

'The agreement among Italy, Germany
end Austria is called a driebund, isn't
it,"
"Yes."
"Well, what's the pact between Francs
and Russia calledy"
"a moribund, suppose!-N. U. Times
Democrat.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1905-09-23
There Was No Danger.

A stout old lady was recently pass
ing a cab stand. One of the horses
laid down its ears. and, with vicious
look, made as il to bite her arm.
The lady uttered cry and hastily
jumped aside, while she reprimanded
the owner of the horse for his care
lessness in allowing the animal to
brighten her.
..E won't bite you, num-" said the
Jehu encouragingly; then, seeing heI
still hesitate, he added, "Lor', you
needn't be afraid; 'e's vegetarian
Pearson's Weekly.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1905-09-23
No Indication Yet.

~And are you going 10 make a musician
of your boy?" asked the friend, as he
patted the professors baby on the cheek;
Il don't know yet" replied the musical
man.
.Oh, no, of course you don't! / for
got, he hasn't any hair yet, has hep
Yonkers Statesman.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1905-09-23
Darwin Refuted.

Father-Yes, my son; according to Oar
win. our ancestors were monkeys.
kindergarten Geoffrey-But,. papa,
don't believe that. l shall be an an
cestor myself some time, and I'm not
monkey.-Judge.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1905-09-23
Tale Of Two Cities.

The Philadelphia epicure had just or
dered snails.
"You cannibal!'' exclaimed the New
Yorker.-Chicago Tribune.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1905-09-23

When man sits at girls feet under .
tree and plays banjo to her, she thinks
that is the way they would go on 90,
ing after they were married ana mao
eeven children.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1905-09-23

A mans family went away for SUM
mer vacation and left him at home with
the parrot. When his wife returned she
said TO the parrot: HAS poor Polly been
lonesomey" The parrot shook itself and
replied: Gimme stack of whites"
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1905-09-23

The genuine has date and number
stamped on the label-take no other nom
your druggist.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1905-09-23

Lewis Single Binder" The richest
quality cigar on the market at s.Taignt
cigars not 50 good. Lewis factory, Pc
ORA, H.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1905-09-23

A wicked mans frown is less dangacu
than the smile of hypocrite.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1905-09-23

l am sure Piso's Cure for ConsumRtiol
Robbins. Norwich, n. Y, Feb. II, 1900.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1905-09-23
ELEANOR R. PARKER.

II milliners would con6ne thar windov.
displays to 9S-cent hats, it would do mucl
to induce bachelors 10 take hand IN tn
matrimonial game.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1905-09-23

"Was it hot out there!
"Hot? The cuckoo stayed in the clock
and cuckooed. PUCK.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1905-09-23

Aliens Foot-Ease is a certain cure for
hot, sweating, callous, and swollen, aching
feet. Sold by all Druggists. Price 25c: Don't
accept any substitute. Trial package FREE.
Address Allen s. Olmsted. lie Roy, N. Y.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1905-09-23
no Destroy slugs on Roses.

After much experimenting with insect
powders, sprays, etc., / have learned from
Z florist very simple and effective means
of keeping rose bushes free from slugs
Use plenty of strong Ivory Soap sudi
around the roots and on the foliage Thu
win prevent insects and cause the plants
to be perfectly healthy.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1905-09-23

A slangy young lady visited the zoo
and returned disguised. She remarked
that 1.-THE lions were 20 tame they were
something fierce."-E. o. Times-Democrat
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1905-09-23
FIFTEEN YEARS OF TORTURE
itching and Painful Sores Covered
Head and Body-Cured In .
Week by Cuticura.

For fifteen years my scalp and fore
head was one mass of scabs, and my body
was covered with sores. Words cannot
express how / suffered from the itching
and pain. l tried many doctors and
treatments, but could get no help, and
had given up hope when friend told me
to get Cuticura. After bathing with Cuti
cura Soap and applying Crticura Ont.
clear as ever, and to my surprise and joy
one cake Of soap Snd one box of oint
ment made complete cure in one week
(Signed) H. B. Franklin, III Washington
ST ALLEGHENY. Pa"
Los Angeles herald., 1905-12-16
PRICE OF DAILY HERALD

1 months subscription to Herald. Csc
3 months subscription to Herald. s1.95
6 months subscription to Herald. $3.50
10 months subscription to Herald. $3.50
years subscription to Herald. ..$39 90
10 years subscription to Herald. $500
Those who are already subscribers to
this paper may secure votes in this
contest by paying in advance as long
as desired. Payments in arrears count
the same as payments in advance, pro-
viding there is a payment made for at
least one month in advance.
The ladies to receive orders for prizes
cording to the accompanying manner:
Los Angeles herald., 1905-12-16
LAST SPECIAL VOTE
OFFER CLOSES TONIGHT
AT ELEVEN O'CLOCK
Don't Fail to Take Advantage of This
Fifty Per Cent Increase
in Votes

After tonight at 1 o'clock votes is
sued on all subscriptions from now
until the close of the contest will be
issued on the regular scale. There will
not be special offer of any kind next
week. Candidates who are holding sub
scriptions thinking they will receive
better offer before the close will be
disappointed.
Turn in every subscription you can
today and get the benefit of the extra
votes, and next week will take care of
itself. Many Of the candidates are
doing good, effective work, and great
things and surprises can be looked for
ward to when the final count is made.
No one has a "wallS-over" in the race,
and candidates should not feel over
confident Contestants who are linger-
ing at the bottom of the list are apt to
make spurt at the finish and carry
off the prizes. SO it will stand every
one of the candidates in hand to work
and work hard until the last minute.
Don't get discouraged or pay attention
to any rumors you might hear. No
doubt you will hear rumors to the
effect that such a party has this, and
so-and-so has that, but in nine cases
out OF ten these are usually false and
such stories are manufactured in hopes
of making others stop their efforts.
Everyone is doing very well. Keep the
good work up.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-12-16

it is. A third offense will be punish
able by "a fine of not less than SIS and
a prison sentence"
The cause for this sudden arrest of
lawmakers was the result of u search
fines for the second offense will be
nothing short of $50 for each offense;
you are getting off rather lightly as
for highway over which autoists may
get up a little speed. If any of the
party that fell into the tolls of the law
are asked about It they reply that they
were being shown over the proposed
Ocean Park boulevard, which the seers
prophesy will make Venice grow so
rapidly and take hold of hands with
it's parent town, Los Angeles, so quick
ly that London in comparison to the
city of Angels will be but a country
village
Los Angeles herald., 1905-12-16
DECLARES BRAIN ACTION
Is ELECTRICAL FORCE
CLAIM OF DR.. A. 3. ATKINS OF
SAN FRANCISCO
Performs Experiment on a Live Steer
With a Galvanometer Which Sat-
isfes Him of the Truth of His
Theory
By Associated Press.

By Associated Press.
SAN FRANCISCO, Dec. 15.-Dr. AL
bert b. Atkins of this city claims to
have proved, by an experiment made
on steer in the stock yards at Butch
ertown, that brain action is an cleo
trical phenomenon. His theory has the
support of Capt. l.. d. Wildman of the
United States signal corps, who as
sisted him in the experiment.
The apparatus used consisted of two
platinum electrodes connected with a
long copper wire running to u very
sensitive galvonometer.
The electrodes were inserted into two
lobes of the brain of a living steer.
After the first quiver caused by
the insertion of the platinum points
the animal lay quiet and yet the needle
OF the galvonometer was DETECTED four
points on the scale and remained so
for nearly six minutes.
Then the animals throat was cut.
Immediately the needle detected 19
points in the same direction.
Then the needle gradually returned
to its normal position.
AS no battery was used DR.. Atkins
is of the opinion that the electrical
current indicated on the galvanometer
originated in the animals brain; in
other words, that it was the brain ac-
tion itself
DR.. Atkins had previously demon
strated that electrical force is devel-
Cped in the lungs and hearts of ami
mails, and in a paper recently read
before the San Francisco County So
ciety of Physicians and Surgeons he
argued that the mystery of gravita-
tion could be solved by attributing it
to electrical action.
'In fact" he declared, "the life
principle itself is of electric origin"
Los Angeles herald., 1905-12-16
SEALSKIN SACQUES GO UP.
Prices Will Be Forty Per Cent Higher
Than They Were Last
Year
By Associated Press.

By Associated Press.
VICTORIA, b. c.. Dec 15.-Sealskin
sacques will cost 40 per cent more than
last year, that being the advance in
prices realized at the annual sale of
sealskins in London today, when rec
ord prices were obtained. The Bering
sea, Copper island and British Columbia
coast catches of Victoria sealers
amounted to 13,200 skins and were sold
for from $23 to $26, some lots going as
high as $27. The average price last year
was SIS. The catches of the Cape Horn
schooners were sold for Sc a skin. Many
of these We're stacy the average pelt
not being so good as the North Pacific
skins.
The high prices realized We're due to
the increasing scarcity of sealskins and
the greatly increased demand. The
prices brought i'm London today are the
highest on record.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-12-16
LAWMAKERS FACE
POLICE JUDGE
CHAUFFEURS SELECTED TO.
PAY FINES
Board of Supervisors, Ocean Park
Officials and Attorney Earl Rogers
Warned Against Further Auto
mobile Speeding

The board Of supervisors, the mayor
of Ocean Park, the board of trustees
OF Ocean Park and Attorney Earl
Rogers, who were arrested last Thurs
Gay afternoon by Officers Mojonier and
Berchtold on charges of having vio-
lated the automobile speed ordinance
appeared before Judge Rose yester-
day morning and the three chauffeurs
of the party were each fined $40.
1t was a dramatic moment in the
new court room of Judge Rose when
each of the names of the distinguished
lawmakers were called out by the
judge.
What would Judge Rose do with
them?" was the question over which
the inquisitive public had puzzled since
the announcement of the arrest of the
lawmakers had been made.
Attorney Earl Rogers came into the
court room with the same look of
wisdom beaming on his features that
Judge Rose. The attorney took a Sc
cluded position in the rear of the hall
of justice and almost inaudibly an
nounced to all who were in on the
game and knew his true identity that
he was not going to butt in" and
plead for mercy.
All Knew Their Lines
One by one the names of the en-
tire party were read off in the rapid
and monotonous legal fashion and as
quickly did the makers and dealers
in things legal rise and respond. 1t
looked much like a well trained class
in juvenile gymnastics.
Then came the moment when the
judge would pronounce the awful fate
of the aristocrats from the surf-bathed
city and the board of supervisors. a
still hush spread over the entire court
room. A foreboding sience-the si-
lence that always precedes tragedy,
hung over the gathering. Slowly Judge
Rose lifted his eyes from his docket
until they shot cleaning shaft over
the top edges of his glasses There
they rested for a moment.
II find that in this case the speeders
were all Of one party, and in that
case I will divide the fine among you, q"
came from the judge; "the fines in this
case will be $40 each for the chauf-
feurs.
Gives Awful Warning
Remember that i'm the future the