New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-04-30
PHYSICAL CULTURE

I hear great physician sees
That our athletic training shows
Far greater than you might suppose;
He bids them not TO strain and haul
At muscle-naking things at all.
Though maidens all look quizzica!.
That culture. which is physical
For girls should always homework be,
And maids who long for heaIthful lives.
Should clean the windows and the knivek
What raptures pretty Fanny stirs
In each one for her health who cares
To see her dust the baniSters
rereaer 5bs e%ss6 the w staR know
With health win ravshingly glow.
Because her biceps well up meant
She often scrubbed the dining room,
And her chest development
r,t Came sr from her won. to ply the broom:
Would Chloe gain ia StreDhon's eyes
When Phyllis sweeps. each poet win
s sldPS t gSt 5sII hqT sh 5o she il tT wi
To learn her skill in making beds.
While with Joys trimming Ger his cup
-PalI Mail Gazette.
A Manchester CEngland) man asked a Japanese
what struck him most about the European face
He replied that it was the horrible round eyes
A Hindoo, to whom he pat the same question, said
that it was the glinmering eyes Of the European
that he mountaineering, presumably. haIf-closed
NOT REAssURING.
Time Tim flies perhaps I've made my can
"Oh. no. II wasn't long at all
1t only seemed 10 be-"
WHEN THE BEASTS CONFERRED ON THE
ILLS OF MEN.
Now the owl rose up and spoke owl wise.
'To-whit-to-whOo and alas
II could only acquire my eyes.
What drop thered be in gas!
They'd pack their currents away ice
And hold them for a rise.
And the pipe lined hunt for a brand new lob
If men only had my eyes"
Then the polar bear said. with a bea-ish shrug
"Garrrrah! Bless my SOUL
II men only grew heavy furs
To the deuce with clothes and coal.
They'd sell their heaters for Bowery junk
And lie on the ice to sleep.
And the entire State of William Penn
Might go to raising sheep"
Then the goat gulped down a CASTOR shirt.
'Ba-a-a! You make smile.
The cost of hving's not all IN gas.
And coal and kerosene lie.
Now. wouldn't the Beef Trust get thin quick,
And lan"uish in chronic blues.
II the waste from any old boiler shop
COuIG. be made into Irish stewsT'
Then the eagle said, With all these things.
They'd do away with freight.
And would only need pair O. my wings
To settle the railroad rate.
Thered be a state of steady decline
In the home OF the big Ship Trust;
They'd turn their Psllmans out to grass
And leave the rails rust
Then the monkey spoke. with a knowing wink
In the monk-like way he had.
You fellows would make up patchwork man.
And you'd make II a muss be sadl
You'd make II easy for him to live
That you'd foozle the whole blamed pan
With nothing earth to scrap about
What's the fun o being a man?'
CARRET SMITH.
Greatest OF the Great.-she (at the pIano)-Who
Ia your estimation. Is the greatesc living COM
poser2
Hell can't recall his name just now but he
manufactures a popular brand Of soothing syrup
Chicago News.
An illustrative answer given by a student in
the natural philosophy class at Edinburgh Uni
versIty. Professor TAFT had given as one OF the
questions in an examination paper Decline trans
parent, translucent and opaque" which dealt
with by the student thus: II cannot precisely de-
fine these terms but indicate their meaning
in this way-the windows OF this classroom were
transparent, they are now translucent. and II
not cleaned very soon will be opaque" The answer
gained fun marks from the professor.
In the Spring-"Cant go out IN the back yard
and play in the garden, mamma -
Certainly not child. You must stay in and
study your nature books. "-(I4ife.