davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-04-09
The Only WAY.

From the New York Telegraph.
The late Mrs. Gilbert the veteran actress.
was talking one day about the time when
Hamilton Fish was Secretary of State.
Mr. and Mrs Fish" she said had a
grand air, an oldfashioned courtesy, that
introduced a new note into Washington
society. They taught Washington les
son. They left it a city Of better manners
and gentler speech than it had been on
their entry.
1t has been said that Mrs. Fish some
times carried her high ideas Of courtesy
too far. With that structure l agree
heartily. Mrs. Fish's courtesy was
quiNotic.
zone OF her rules. for Instance, was to
return every call she received. Her hus-
band was continually holding public recep-
lions and to these, out Of courtesy. many
women would come who had no desire that
Mrs. Fish should call upon them-who
were in no position to receive her properly
If she did call.
zone such woman attended a Fish re-
CeptiOn. left her card, and a little later
was duly honored with u call from Mrs.
Fish.
1T was q beautiful mild afternoon. The
Fish equipage. all a-glitter In the wintry
sunshine dashed down the narrow street
and halted before the woman's shabby lit
tie house with a musical Jingle of silver
chains The foOtman leaped from the box
and opened the carriage door. Mrs. Fish
descended.
The poor woman OF the house-where
was she all this time? She, alas, was kneel-
Ing on the sidewalk beside a bucket OF hot
water Her sleeves We're rolled back. She
had scrubbing brush In one hand and
cake Of soap in the other. She was
scrubbing her front steps.
Imagine how she felt What would you
have done In a predlcament so awkward?
Would you have been as wise and ready,
wonder, the woman was?
Mrs. Fish, bending over her, said,
graciOusiy:
Ia Mrs. Henry Smith at homer
And Mrs Henry Smith replied: No.
mum. she amt and went on scrubbing."
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-04-09
tricks of the mendicant to attract the pub

tricks Of the mendicant to attract the pub
lie attention that her own merits do not de-
serve. In Newark a coupon cut out of a
daily paper and ten cents will admit any
lady or child to reserved seat at the
Tuesday matinees of certain theater. In
Cleveland at a stock house the autographed
photograph of the leading woman is used as
the means to bring people to the Monday
matinees. Books of the play as souvenirs
are used by certain star travelling through
the south to draw out people at the We'd
nesday afternoon performances. The re-
ceptions upon the stage and pink teas are
tricks worked by several stock companies
throughout the west One company has
been giving its five hupdredth performance
of a play no less than seven times within
the past two weeks, distributing souvenirs
as a preteXt to bring some additional dol
lars. BOnbons and ice cream are the means
of bringing out the women to a certain the
alter in Chicago, while green trading stamps
help business in the middle west, a guess
ing contest which allows the public to select
certain plays has been a feature at Fore
paugh's Theater in Philadelphia, and free
admittance to those who guess a certain
quotation from Shakespeare is a trick
worked at a theater in Baltimore.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-04-09
Followed Literally.
he New York Telegraph

FROM the New York Telegraph.
This is one told by Herbert Kelley: His
''haccent" betrayed his nationality, and his
small twinkling blue eyes denoted a deeper
sense OF humor than is usually ascribed to
his couutrymen.
Yes I was a bit green when l came over
to this country, and 1 ad to like hanythnk
in the Wy of JOB. 1 got started in de-
partment store on 9th avenue and the floor
walker sys to me- s'ys e:
Now, AIRY. well give you three trials,
and If you let three people get away with
out selling them, wen ave to bounce YOU
We'll, I came down jolly early on Mon
day, took my plice beind the counter and
wted for customers. Pretty soon a Idly
walked up and asked me where she should
like the tram for New Rochelle. l didn't
know, and she went ANY. L looked at the
fioorwalker and the fioorwalker e looked al
me. That mide one" holding up a lean
forefnger Then a man came along and
stopped to arsk me where e could buy
at. l told i'm where the at counter was,
and e went ANY. That mide two. jolly
poor luck wasn't 1t, now? l looked at the
fioorwalker, and that fioorwalker looked at
me like ell. but what could l do? Then
another Idly came along as ad a large
piece of goods to match. and she wanted
another yard Of the same. | took it and
pulled out heyerythnk on the shelves, but
there was no more of it left. | was in a bit
OF a funk then, for IL | let er go without
mixing sale l would lose my job, so L
SEE:
wife bit, Idly; I'll see If We ave any
upstairs l went up. and seeing there was
no more there. either, l just cut a yard off
her own goods and brought the two pieces
down. rolled them up, took the money, and
she went awy. l 'ad plenty of customers
after that but l didn't feel just comfort
able, don't you know
The same afternoon she came back and
asked for the floorwalker.
Ere SEE she, L brought five yards OF
goods ere to match this morning and
bought a yard more, but when l got home
l found only four yards in my own piece
Can you explin that, please?
II 'emmed an 'awed and tried to meas
ure the goods and hattempted to tell the
Idly that she must be mistaken about 'er
own piece, but she only glared at me, and
in jiffy she was hup to the hoorwalker
eXplinin' the condition of affairs. ,Er tone
indicated that she was mad. and l said to
meself AIRY you're a dead I'M"
THE foorwalker called me bout. and
'ad to tell i'm all about 1t, ow the first
party wanted a tram-car, and the next a
at, and this one wanted more goods when
we admit any. / 'ad to sell 'er some'ow. or
lose my job so 1 give 'er bit from er own
piece. The hoorwalker looked so bloomin'
mad for bit that l thought my time was
| come for sure. but then e started to larf.
| and e larfed till i thought ed bust. Then
| e seq. AIRY, seq e. I guess we'll ave to
keep you, and raise your wiges. And o
did,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-04-09
Curios and Ruins.
the Chicago Inter Ocean.

From the Chicago Inter Ocean.
Jefferson de Angels is distinctly patriotic.
but he believes that a man may enjoy a
joke on his native land as well as on him
self He laughs at this one: A New Yorker
was entertaining friends from abroad and
grew rather angry at the scant appreciation
with which they viewed the sights of the
city. He had taken them everywhere-in
the subway, to the Bartholdi statue.
through Central Park, and to various social
affairs-but nowhere were they enthused.
Finally mine host, unable to contain him
self longer, remarked: I'm sorry if sight
seeing over here bores you. OF course, we
have no curios, no ruins"
My dear felow!" interrupted one of the
visitors Don't say that! No curios and
no ruins What of your manners and your
morals?"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-04-09
Inverted Pedestrianism.

From the Boston Herald.
Joe Weber has Il bOotblacking stand just
outside his music hall in New York, which
he patronizes about three or four times
day. II is a rendezvous for his numerous
friends, who know that at certain hours
they will be sure to find the great little
man there Charles \. Bigelow, who knows
of this weakness, wanted to make game
of his manager the other day, and. in the
presence of five or six other men, he asked
innuCcntiy:
Joe, how do you keep your shoes so
clean these muddy March days?'
But his fellow comedian was too quick
for the man of the billiard-baIl pate and
the Dubious nose.
4 walk on my hands,
Drinks on BigeloW.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-04-09
Sane or Insane?
from Leslie's Magazine.

From Leslies Magazine.
rs there any sure test by which to tell
the sane from the insane?" inquired a stu
dent of the famous French alienist, Esqut-
rol. please dine with me tomorrow at 6
o'clock" was the answer of the savant.
The student complied Two other guests
were present one of whom was elegantly
dressed and apparently highly educated,
while the other was rather uncouth, noisy
and extremely conceited. After dinner the
pupil rose to take leave, and as he shook
hands with his teacher he remarked: The
problem is very simple, after all; the quiet,
well-dressed gentleman is certainly distin-
guished in some line, but the other Is as
certainly lunatic and ought at once to be
locked up" You are wrong, my friend,
REPLIED Esduirol, with smile. 1.-The quiet,
WelI-dressed man who talks so nationally
has for years labored under the delusion
that he is God the Father, whereas the 9th
er man, whose exuberance and self-conceit
have surprised you, is M. Honore de Balzac,
the greatest French writer of the day
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-04-09
Only With a Shave.
ON the indianapolis News.

Among all the brilliant repartee at
tributed to the late Maurice Barrymore,
the following is offered as one Of the
gems
A few days following Barrymore's first
appearance in a new role. the Police Ga
zette published a., criticism written by
Lew Rosen. in which the actor was Sc
vereIy ceusured. Meeting Barrymore on
the street day or two later, Rosen said:
We'll. Barry, did you see my roast of
you in the Police Gazetteer"
No" replied Barrymore CURLY, Il al
ways shave myself"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-04-09
Professional Frankness.

from tne UPnVtr IIInts.
Victor Herbert the composer OF TT Hap
pened In Nordland" and Babes in Toy
land" has been frequently annoyed of late
by an amateur musician who has called
upon him at his home in West End avenue,
New York and asked his opi9ion of vari-
Gus compositions which the amateur had
written. The other morning he submitted
a sonata and said:
You will notice, Mr.. Herbert. that this
is extremely difficult"
Not at all. my friend responded Mr.
Herbert. cordially. 1T is more than difficult
1T is impossible"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-04-09
Essence of Thrills.

From the Toronto Mail and Empire.
A curious Individual has recently taken
trouble to dissect the works of an author
OF sensational dramas. and he finds that he
requires the cooperation of eighteen wild
ows. sixteen sons and two daughters of
persons executed. eighty orphans of the
male and 112 of the female sex. sixty
blind persons and ten feigning blindness,
twenty-five fratricides. eight PARTICLES. 145
foundllngs. 162 lost and 116 kidnapped chill
dren. 124 children exchanged or folsted 212
false wills. 2l6 stolen pocket books. 198 duels.
with swords. 16S with pistols. two with
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-04-09
Protested Kisses.

From the Boston Post.
The worm will turn. Arthur Dunn rises
to deny that his rendering of THE Kissing
Song in The Runaways," while singing
which he embraces twelve different girls,
is the "cinch' that 1t is supposed to be.
Each pair of lips Is covered with make
up an inch thick" declared the comedian.
kissing them is as little satisfaction e.
It would be to kick an enemy in armor."
Oh, ungallant Arthur; surely not related
to him OF the Round Tablet
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-04-09

sabers, eight with knives and ten with
axes; 43 fires, 123 murders with weapons
and 1875 with poison, 46 drownings. 20 guilty
and 81 innocent galley convicts, so freed
and % escaped prisoners, 115 burglaries.
2Os distraiHts, 10 lunatics, % feigning luna
tics 113 false marriages and Al bigamists.
Who will say after this that he-drama is
dcteriorating?
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-04-09
At the Bargain Counter.

From the Pittsburg Dispatch.
The poor old stage has become a pauper
indeed. and. hat In hand. u trying by the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-04-09

after $50 performances. II Is to be revived
next December for the Christmas season.
Charles Frohman will produce the piece In
America next autumn.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-04-09

Charles Frohman has arranged for the
appearance in London next season of The
Rollickirg Girls" with Sam Bernard. Hat
tie Williams and the entire American com
pany which is to present the new piece III
New York
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-04-09

Hall Caine has determined upon hap
by ending" for the dramatic version of
his novel The Prodigal Son which is to
constitute Arthur Collins autumn attrac-
tlon at Drury Lane Theater. London. or
the four acts which the piece contains
three are laid in Iceland and one on the
Riviera.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-04-09

HauptmannTs now play, "Elga." has been
received in Berlin with extraordinary en-
thusiasm. 1t is based upon Grillparzer's
short tale, "Das kloster Won Sendomir"
and takes the form of dream of cOnjugal
inhdelty and vengeance dreamed by a wan
dering German knight in the hospIce of a
Polish monastery. The seven episodes of
the story are enacted without any interval
save that which is furnished by the dark
ening of the stage and interludes of distant
music representing the midnight singing of
the monks. The auditorium remains dark
ened throughout the performance. which oc-
CupicS two hours.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-11-30
lAl,'I BE SEPARATED
some Salt Lake People Have
Learned How TO Get Rid of Both,

backache and Kidney ache are twin
tou can't separate them.
Ahnd you can't get rid OF the backache
until YOU cure the kidney ache.
II the kidneys are well and strong.
,Ng rest OF the system Is pretty sure
" oe Ia vigorous health.
poan's Kidney Pills make strong,
hea ny kidneys.
soLi,. hadsen, plumber, employed at the
sal Lake Hardware Co.. residence 96i
W., es, Fourth South, says Twenty
wv yt'fs ago | was run over by team,
i since then my back has been weak,
s - my kidneys caused me no end OF
,ln nn In following my occupa-
III ntting furnaces, heaters, etc,
~ 90 stoop a great deal. and most
tHe work necessitates strain on the
., sas OF the back. This, OF course.
Yates the cause, and when In the
stage | frequently suffer. Know
~ from the irregular action OF the
s,.usy secretions that the kidneys were
,'pohslole for the annoyances led me
Wy remedies when the attacks were
y pronounced, None OF them ever
p,Isugnt such lasting relief as Doan's
Suney Pills. procured at the F.. j. Hin
ssus CO.'S store Satisfied that one box
~ ~ us work thoroughly and well. / pur-
,asea a second. and when had COM
p'r,ed u the trouble was removed"
,ror sale BY all dealers. Price 70
ghts, Foster M,lhurn Co Buffalo N.
sole agents Tor the United States.
3ke no other.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-11-30
TRIBUNE LIBEL CASE.
Judge Powers Says He Expects To
Prove Charges Complained Of

The plaintiff has rested his case In
the libel suit of w. r. Jones, Jr,
against the Salt Lake Tribune ct al,
which is on trial before a jury In Judge
Ritcnie's court ana Judge Powers has
commenced his opening statement In
behalf of the defendant. When the
court adjourned yesterday afternoon
he had not concluded his statement
but will do so tomorrow morning. The
plaintiff merely introduced the ar
tiCles complained Of and also the tes-
timony OF Mr. Jones to the effect
that ne was the plaintiff and the per-
son concerning whom the articles were
written.
Judge Powers In his opening state
ment yesterday afternoon read the
pleadngs in the case and the articles
printed by the Tribune which are the
basis Of the action. He said that the
defense would produce unimpeachable
witnesses who will bsantiate the
truthfulness of the following charges
made by the Tribune:
'First-That the plaintiff w. r..
Jones. swore TO false accounts against
the county
'Second-That this plaintiff swore to
claims on behalf of employees Of the
county that We're Illegal and false, thus
padding the payrolls of the county.
"Third-That he swore that money
was illegally due to employees Of the
county when in fact the same was not
legally due.
''Fourth-That he sold goods and pro-
duce from the intlrmary farm. but did
not account TO the county ~ the same,
'Fifth-That he fed rotten meat 10
the inmates Of the rfrmary
"Sixth-That he bought groceries for
his family and had them charged In
the inhrmary accounts to the amount
OF 1921, and that he did not account
to the county for the same,
"Seventh-That he fed the inn ttes
of the county infirmary upon Skinned
milk while he provided for his own
family sufficient, proper and good milk
at the expense OF the county
The case viii be taken up again to-
morrow morning at 10 o'clock.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-11-30

catastrophe, an apostrophe to chaos;
and when he was picked up by the at
frghted passersby to see II his sweet
spirit had really flown to a higher and
better existence, they were relieved
to hear him make remarks on the pecu-
liar nature of the situation that savored
very much OF the earth earthly, and
which are not to be found in Sunday
school yocabularies,
1t was necessary to handle Mr.. Phil
lips more or less with gloves" so TO
speak, as he was so thoroughly kali
somined with the lacteal fluid that II
threatened to fresCo the clothes of his
rescuers. The latter set the dairy wa
on right side up with care again, and
aided the lacteal phoebus In collecting
his cans, and pacifying his deeply per-
tuibed steeds, while the conductor and
motorman of the car frantically chased
up and down the street taking the
names OF every person within the radius
of 1000 feet TO prove that II wasn't their
fault. and that Phillips must have been
out late TO a dance the night before and
was asleep at the time dreaming Of his
best girl Mr.. Phillips and his wrecked
combination were finally sent ON their
way shrouded in gobs of the most pro-
found gloom, revolving many things IN
his mind
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-11-30
HE LIKES THE SCHEME.
Rural Settlements Man Endorses "See
America First" Movement

George II. Maxwell chairman OF the
executive committee Of the Rural Settle
ments' association and general counsel Of
the National Irrigation association, writes
a letter TO the Commercial club relative
TO the plan Of See America First" In
which he SAYS:
1T seems 10 me that you ought to have
the very strongest support and indorse-
tri0tic American. You have, however.
opened up a field for the development Of
tho west along this line which Is almost
limitless IN It's possibilities Of things winch
might be done TO promote such an object
when | first became interested In the
national Irrigation movement we coined
phrase which 1t seems 10 me might
with equal proprlety be applied to your
work. Unite the West to Convert the
East
There are today, in many places In tho
west, fine hotels which would attract and
satisfy the most eXaCtng class Of tour
lists; but | think much stu remains to be
done to perfect the facilities for enter
tainmcnt throughout the west generally
before that section Of the country can
fairly expect to compete with Europe for
the tourist travel II seems 10 mo that
one Of the FIRST things that might be done
to advantage in such a .iect as yours
would be % have made Il thorough study
of Switzerland and its hotel system, and,
so far as possible provide for as good a
system generally throughout the west
There Is "a multitude of things which
might be done to mako the west, as
whole, more attractive to tourists which
could hardly be done by one locality. The
problem Is a very large one and needs
Comprehensive treatment for its solution
| may ovcrcstimato the possibilities, but
Il does seem TO me that If the west would
plan as carefully as they have done IN
Switzerland TO attract and accommodate
tourists that You could divert to the west
more than one-thrd OF the tide Of such
travel which now goes every year from
America 10 Europe
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-11-30
GUILTY OF MANsLAUGHTER.
Verdict In the Case of Albert Kccth.
clcr. Charged With Murder.

Utah against Albert Keetheler. after
being out two hours. returned a YER
diet at about $50 o'clock last evening
finding defendant guilty of involuntary
manslaughter. Kectheler was tried In
Judge Armstrong; court upon tn.
charge of murder In the first degree for
the killing Of his step-son-n-law.
Frank Duvall, in Keetholer's room at
252 State street on the night of Oct. ,.
lie was defended by Attorneys w. w.
Little and p. j Daily. The state was
represented by District Attorney Loot
bourow and Attorney James #. Smith.
The maximum penalty Tor the crime
OF which the defendant was found gull
~, Is one year In the county Jail. He
viii be sentenced by Judge Armstrong
on Monday morning at 10 o'clock.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-11-30
MANY CONSERVATIVES HELPED.
State ho'Dn,l In Adirondseks Shows Eneour.
aging ,s..lOS Patients Discharged.

The trustees Of the New York
State Hospital for Incipient Pull
monay tuberculosis in the Adiron-
daoks have issued their completed
statistics for the first year, which is
as follows: There we're admitted
ao7 patients, more than half Of
whom were incipients. There we're
no deaths, OF the los patients dis
charged, ffty-two we're apparently
recovered. Twenty.six arrested cases
are reported. Sixteen improved,
while eleven left without any i'm.
provement The treatment consists
mainly Of outdoor air, wholesome
food and rest. Patients have three
full meals and two or three lun.
cheons a day, and 90 Of the Ios
gained an average OF 1857 pounds
each. This is certainly most en-.
couraging and shows that incipient
consumptives at least can be cured.
There is another treatment perhaps
almost as good Stay home, use
cold baths in the morning, get as
much outdoor exercise as possible,
generous diet and the continuous
use Of SCOTS Emulsion will doubt.
less check the progress Of the dis
ease and may permanently cure. AT
any rate it is easy to try it.
SCOTT & BOVINE, to9 Pearl Street, New York.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-11-30
COURT NOTES.

Suit has been filed In the district
court by Nells S, Nelson against the
Utah Consolidated Mining company to
recover sj,70g,50, as damages caused by
smoke from defendants smeter
A petition for letters of admlnlstra-
ton Of the estate of Emily Gloves. de-
ceased, has been filed In the probate d.
vision OF the district court by Emily
c. Gloves. who asks that Lucia Young
be appointed administrators. The de-.
cedent died in this county on May q,
1890 more than IL years ago leaving
an estate consisting Of real property.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-11-30
Counterfeitlna the Genuine.

Foley & Co., Chicago. originated Honey
aud Tar as a throat and lung remedy. and
on account OF the great merit and popu-
larity Of Foley's Honey and Tar many
limitations are offered for the genuine.
AJAX for FoLEY'S Honey and Tar and re-
fuse any substitute offered as no other
preparation will give the same satisfac-
ton IL is mildly laxative. II contains no
opiates and Is safest for children and dell.
cate persons. For sale By =. j. Hill Drug
Co.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-11-30
FINED FOR CONTEMPT.

Judge Whitaker yesterday fined j. p.
Wolf S. for contempt of court for fall
ing to pay $50 on a judgment rendered
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1905-11-30
DAIRYMAN'S PLIGHT.
Wagon Hit by u Car and Driver
Drenched With Iacteal Fluid.

A Third street car bumped into an FL
gin dairy wagon, driven by Sid Phil
lips yesterday, and Sid took an involun-
iary and brief fight toward Other
Worlds Than Ours He was accom-
panied by an impromptu shower of milk
and a wide and varied assortment of
cans that transformed him for the in
slant into an exaggeraton of the Milky
Way Mr. Phillips did not long remain
an astronimlcal feature I'm the local
armament. He descended very much a
melangic protoplasm, a Kaleidoscope