davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

The reckless Chicago Record-Her-
aid thinks that when those ten men
own the United States it viii be inter
esting to see which one of them viii
be the first TO set frozen out by the
other nine
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24
How's This ,

We ofer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any
case q Catarrh that cannot be cared By HalI's
Catarrh Cure
FL. CHENEY & CO.. Toledo. o.
We the undersigned. have known 2 j. Cheney
for the last Is yesrs- and believe hin perfectly hon
orable In al business transactions and dnaaciallT
able % CARY ont any obligations made By his firm
hALDISG- kTEEAE q HAETIE-
wholesale Druggists, Toledo. O.
Hairs CstsTTh Cure O. taken fnrsrualiF actfnz
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces OF the
systen- Testimonials sent free Price IS Cents per
bottle Sold By All DruEgiEts-
Take HalTs Family Pills for constipation
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

The SavOie sailed from New York
with two bridal couples and S3,2S0,G00
in gold Presumably the bridal cOU-
Pies were almost as happy as if the
gold belonged TO them.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

Maxine GOrky was wise to adopt
pseudonym- His real name is Alexei
Maximowitsch PjeschOw, which OBJ
viously isn't adapted for a title page
and subsequent discussion at the
women's clubs.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

A woman II Brooklyn sued for d.
vorce On the ground thaFher husband
kept snakes for pets. she properly
lost her suit she should have been
sufHciently grateful Sthat her husband
simply Looked On snakes as pets-he
might have seen them OtheEWi
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24
IIFE N NEW YORK

Hurried Editor must have some
one to help on this at once. Where Is
Binks? Where's Scribbler? Where's
LEADER"
BOy-''They is all downstairs gettin'
Up list Of folks killed last year by
electric cars, cabs, wagons, subway ex-
plOsions, gas. an 'lectric light wires.
Editor (despOndently)-" won't
get through for a month
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

Concerning that story of the COM
pany that is preparing to manufacture
gold in unlimited quantities from salt
water, most persons viii take it, for
the present, with a few grains Of
chloride Of sodium
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

Some grOcers say they don't keen De-
Aance Starch because they have n stock
II hand Of u o. brands. which they know
cannot be sold 20 n customer who has
once used the 10 o. pkg. Defiance Starch
for same money.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

As fourteen Of the years in the pres
ent century viii begin on Sunday,
Russell Sage viii doubtless save his
1905 calendar, to be used for the other
years by simply changing the date.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

They were discussing literary topics
What is your estimate Of BacOn2'
asked the Boston girl. "On the hog"
replied the fair young thing from Chi
cago, whose father, Of course, was a
millionaire pork packer.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

Some Of the kind Russian manufac-
turers have offered to advance their
helps wages to SO a month Is It
cutie safe TO enrich the uneducated
classes so suddenly
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24
O. % 00W0 |
IAT Do YOU IaINK OF IHEsE YIEL1s?

WHAT Do YOU THINK or THESE TIELDSs
10 bu- Beardless Barley per acre
80 bu- SslzeTis New National Oats per A.
50 bu- SalzeF Speltz and MaearOni Wheat
600 bu- Pedigree Potatoes per acre
"a tons OF rich Billion Dollar Grass Hay.
so 600 lbs Victoria Rape for sheep-per A
10000 lbs TeOsinte, the fodder wonder.
s, eco lbs Salzer,s Superior Fodder Corn
rich juicy fodder, per a
Nov such yields you can have IN l905,
Il you VIII plant my seeds.
JUST SIND THIS NOTICE AND 100
IN stamps to John A Salzer Seed Co., Ia
Crosse. Wis, and receive their great eata-
log and lots Of farm seed samples. LW.N.U.l
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

After q while the public may learn
that gold letters on the window and a
suitcase for the president to use in
getting away do net constitute a safe
and sane bank
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

The New York sOciOlOgist who ad-
vises all the good people to send all
the bad ones to Coventry apparently
doesn't appreciate the dangers Incl
dent to the overcoming Of eOmmuni-
ties.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

Mrs. P asked her little daughter
upon her return from church, for the
text, and was surprised to find that the
little girl didn't know what she meant
Why. my dear, didn't you hear the
minister say, Lazarus, come forth . "
oh" was the reply, YES, / heard him
say that; but didn't see him cOme!"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

New York's bank elearings are now
considerably in excess Of those OF
London. Isn't this rather dislOyal On
the part Of New York? It has always
been supposed that New YOrks prin-
cipal business was to ape rather than
70 lead London
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

A dainty little square Of lace.
That's all We Just wanted to start
paragraph that every woman reader
would look at.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

If whisky and quinine is a bad com
bination, as some doctors say, It must
be on account Of the quinine- In the
words Of the Kentucky colonel, there
is no bad whisky.-NeW York Press
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

Mr. Rockefeller. continuing to serve
the public in an inexpensive and con
genial advisory capacity, urges US all
to drink plenty Of water between
meals
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

Senator Depew says that the for
eign title chases the American girl
Possibly; but not until after it has
locked up paPa's rating in Brad
streets
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

What's the use OF worrying about
whether or not we shall know each
other in heayen2 Few Of us really
know each other here.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

Unfortunately the Russian people
always have to pay for the windows
that the Russian people knock out Of
the palaces of their grand dukes.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

The English gentIewOman who
keeps a few snakes with her all the
time evidently takes after some Eng
Iish nObIemen we have heard Of.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

Mrs. De RUffle-'If you ever did any
good in this wide world, I'd like to
know what it is
Mrs. Well, for one thing,
saved you from dying an old maid.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

Somebody has written a book en-
titled Practical Poker The most
practical kind of poker is the kind
that is left practically alone.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

The mayor Of Bridgeport, Conn. is
trying to get his own salary reduced
Nature hath made strange fellows in
her time"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24
N sOnTH AMERICA

Senorita Snimkins-" She's a daugh-
ter OF the revolution"
Senorita Smith-''Which One?" June.
August, September or JUly?"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

"a great many Of you says the
Syracuse POst-Standard, are giving
way again 10 that tired feeling Your
sidewalks show il" Only an editor
who dwells IN a palatial apartment
house and doesn't have TO shovel
snow would dare TO write that.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

Mighty few men can get worried
over their soul when their collar but
ton is pinching the back Of their neck.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

New Jersey cares not what states
may have the gold mines and furnish
the nations wheat if she can incorpo-
rate the trusts.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

The car IS reported to be reason
ably cheerful; but wait till he reads
that SwinBurHe poem
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

Prof. yineent7of Chicago IS instruct
ing women how to talk Some men
would gid the lily.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

The man who rocked the boat last
summer is now leading skating par
ties over the thin places in the ice.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

Over IN Hungary the battle Of the
ballots seems to involve about as
many fatalities as the ether kind.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

It is said thatithe increase in the
number OF women who are doing
mems work has been 40 per cent in
the last ten years This viii be quite
eneouraging TO those men who are
willing that the women folks should
DO the whole OF IT
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24
- b 80 80

The most popular fiction writer IN
Ezgland IS SIlas 4. Hooking. Of whom
.iittie or nothing is kaoHn-in the Unit
I'd states He vas onee a Methodist
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

Reading the headline of a New York
paper, Receiver Appointed for Elita
Proctor Otis" who can help exclaim-
ing, Lucky fellow"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

Dr. Newell Dwight Hills propOunds
the question, Is a second marriage
wrong2 Where il involves bigamy,
YES.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

No chromos or cheap premiums, b1t
a better quality and one-third more OF
Defiance Starch for the same price OF
other starehes.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

When nan attempts to speak in.
public for the first time the audf5nce.
makes him nervoUs-but later en- he
makes the audience nervous.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

A man who is in politics for the good
Of the people Usually considers his
family the people.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

Superior quality and extra quantity
must win. This is why Defiance Starch
is taking the place Of all others !
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

Most men VINO cry Down with the
tFustsl'r would Ike TO own a little
stock in them
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

A new counterfeit $40 bill is in cir
euIation. It IS more blessed to give
than to receive.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

Those who marry for loye-aTe no
more proof against disappointment
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

.saI6er'a. Home Ealasr CPrn.
Sc named Because 50 acres produced 50
ileafily, that Its proceeds built. lovely
home See SalzeEzs cataloE. ffelded IN
Ind Isl bu, Ohio 360 bun, Tenn l9S bu-,
and N Mich 20 bu. per acre. YO1 can
beat TINS record ID 1905.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

Soldiers who lose their heads IN
battle have no use for pensions.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

The feminine half Of the world may
not know how the masculine half lives,
but It never tires Of trying TO ind out.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24
HAD HEART OF GOLD
INCIDENT ~ LIFE OF HsTONE.
WALL" JACKSON.

Sent as Constable to Levy on Prop
erty Of Poor Widow, Future Great
Soldier Found Himself Unequal TO
the Tzsk-Thre1 Up Commission.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

ERE rearzlfsy c1red 70 IS or nsFTo1s1s1s afseE
Eaa y frEt days ElizleE Great Ecre E.ac1r
er- Es1l Ter IRE - CO fTfaI t-sie and e-rtisss
- p 3. ELEEE, L. "a An Etraet El21el.ll -
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

Many a girls ideal is shattered
when her fa1ce goes bToEe-
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

= TO CURE A COLD N ONE DAY
Take LaxaffVs- Bf5ui5 Ctuialns Ts5lets- AEf-fTuE-
cisrs refund the mo1eT Il 60 fails g cEre- z. ".
Groves signature Is O1 esch box sc.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

A man who knows enough to make
as tae genius Hho canE
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24
- FIerIble nr.LastIl

More Flexible znz Lasting,
won't shake out or blows out: by using
Defiance Starch you obtain better results
than possible with any other brand and
one-third more for same money.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24
Imnortsnt Cd &c.,.

EzEnnine carefully every bottle OF CASToRLAs
= safe and sure remedy for infsnts and children,
snd see that it
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24
AcHEp IN EVERY BONE.

Chicago Society Woman, Who Was So
Sick She Could Not Sleep or Eat,
Cured BY Doan's Kidney Pills.
Marion Knight. OF 80 n. Ashland
avenue. Chicago. orator Of the West
Side Wednesday Club. says: This
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

winter when I
started 10 use
Deans Kidney
Pills I ached
in every bone
and had in
tense pains in
{ b e kidneys
and pelvic Or
& a n S. The
u rim e va 3
thick and
cloudy. and I
could barely
eat enough IN
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24
SHE LET HIM OFF.

IN Use For Over 80 Years.
The Kind YOu Have Always Bought
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-02-24

TIE reserve AID tactturnltE 81
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-12-21
The Pope's Democracy.

Stories multiply of Pope Plus de-
mocracy. Visitors are received with
great simplicity. AS soon as one en-
tiers he causes him to be seated in an
arm chair by his side, chats, laughs
and relates anecdotes and stories. The
other day the pope, while receiving
some women, remarked that they had
trains on their skirts. This is not
hygienic," said he; lone gathers thus
in the streets quantity of microbes
and other things. AS to myself, when
they compel me to add train to my
cassock, it bothers me much, although
there are four prelates to uphold it."
'But, holy father" said one Of tho
women, I'VE hold up our trains when
going in the streets" THAT must DO
very announcement" replied Plus K,
and passing from word to action the
pope made several to 1rs in the room,
holding up his robe in mimicry of =
fine lady.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-12-21
4 COOL COMMANDER.
How Col. Thomas Proved Himself a
Humorist Even in the Face OF
the Gravest Perils.

Many things of general interest
might be referred to, and some of the
anecdotes concerning Col. Thomas
must be quoted, as showing the quail
ties which made him a good general.
He was brave to excess, and always in
front of his men. At Bisland, where
the regiment had to support battery,
the most trying duty required of SOL
der, as he has only to stand under
fire, hour after hour, and wait, Col.
Thomas, upon his horse, kept the front
alone, riding back and forth and shout
ing such words as STEADY! Stand
firm! Remember old Vermont is look
ing at you! Steady, old Vermont"
Once, to his saying that Vermont was
looking at them, one man replied:
Hope Vermont won't see us in such
q scrap again." which raised a laugh
along the line and helped more than
the sternest command would have done
to keep the boys in countenance. At
another point, where some white face
showed the need of little more grit"
Co.. Thomas said, as the shot tore into
the earth: This reminds me of SOW
ing marrowfat peas up in old Yer
mont"
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-12-21
WALLAcE's REGIMENT.
Interesting "Reminiscences Of Its Or
ganizatiou-How It Came to 10
z Number Eleven.

l. Col. r. w. Holloway, United States
consul general at Halifax, N. S., who
was Gov. Morton's private secretary
throughout the civil war, in writing
to the Indianapolis News of some war
incidents, tells an interesting story
Of Gen. Lew Wallace, and how the
Indiana regiments in the war for the
union came to start with six as the
number Of the first infantry regt-
nent. From the first" says the
colonel, Lew Wallace, then adju-
tant general of the state of Indiana,
insisted that the new regimental num-
Ders should begin at six to avoid
a duplication of the five that had
served during the Mexican wsE. Then
began . struggle among tb~ise who
had raised these first regiments to Sc
cure the lowest possible number, each
being anxious to show by such q rec
ord that he and his regiment had en-
tered by the service earliest. It became
known that Lew Wallace was to COM
manc one Of the regiments, and 1t
seemed as II half the officers of the
companies that had been accepted were
anxious that their companies should
become part of his regiment. SO
he had little peace until it was settled
what companies were to serve under
his command.
''The field officers of the various
regiments came to me in large num-
hers and suggested that they were con-
tiGent that Wallace would take the
lowest number, six, for his regiment.
and requested me to request Gov.
Morton to assign the numbers by lot.
told them that the governor could
not interfere in the business Of the ad-
jutant general, and then spoke of it to
Wallace, who said he had not thought
Of the matter and cared nothing what
number should be given to his regl-
ment, but to settle the matter he would
say then and there that he would Sc
lect the number II, the highest num-
Der, for his regiment, and the other
colonels might settle the numbers to
be assigned to their regiments among
themselves. The numbers of the other
regiments, il my recollection is cor
rect, were determined by lot.
1T is q well-known fact that tho
Eleventh Indiana was one of the best
drilled and best disciplined regiments
in the service That regiment furnished
a larger number of officers as field Of
ficers to other regiments, as we'll as
major and brigadier generals than
any other from Indiana, if not from
the union"
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-12-21
THE RAINBOW.
ideas in Regard to the Heavenly
Arch Which Are Held in Diff
ferent Countries.

In many countries the rainbow 10
spoken of as being a great bent pump or
siphon tube, drawing water from tho
earth by mechanical means. In parts
OF Russia, in the Don country, and also
in Moscow and vicinity, it is known by
a name which Is equivalent to 1.-The bent
water pipe" In nearly all Slavonlc
dialects it is known by terms signifying
the cloud siphon," and in Hungary 1t Is
"the pump" "Noah's pump" and "God's
pump"
The Malayan natives call it by the
same name that they do their banded
water cobra, only that they add "boba"
(meaning double-headed), the equiva-
lent in our language being "the double
headed water snake" They tell you
that the bow is real thing Of life, that
It drinks with it's two mouths, and that
the water is transferred to the clouds
through an opening in the upper side OF
the center of the great arch.
In the province Of Charkov, Russia,
the rainbow is said to drain the wells,
and to prevent this many are provided
with heavy, tight-ftting stone plat
forms.
In the province Of Saratov the bow
Is said to be under the control OF
three angels, one Of whom pumps the
water, the second feeds" the clouds
and the third sends the rain. Many
improbable and impossible things
would happen If you could only get
In reach of "the bow"
The little Turk is told that II he
would have q silver head, with gold
teeth and ruby eyes, he has but to
touch the orange stripe.
In Greece they say that the person
20 unfortunate as to stumble over the
end of the bow will have his or her sex
Immediately changed.-Golden Days.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-12-21
Cause OF the Trouble.

An incident illustrating President
Lincoln's ever-present sense of humor
Is given in "A Biographical Memorial
Of Gen. Daniel Butterfield."
An immense amount of correspond
ence had been sent to President Lin
coin, in which we're many accusations
and counter-accusations, letters and
explanations concerning the failure to
get the pontoons to Fredericksburg in
time for Burnside.
Many thought Mr.. Lincoln would
remove or court-martial somebody. He
Endorsed the papers with the follow
ing sentence:
I'm my opinion, Mr.. Lee caused this
trouble"
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-12-21
How Blackmar Saved His Life.

This story is told at the expense Of
the late Gen. Wilmon w. Blackmar:
Gen. Blackmar was attending a camp.
when he was approached by seedy-
looking man, who greeted him profuse-
ly. The general shrugged his shout
ders and turned away, with the re-
mark that they were not acquainted.
But, general" said the stranger,
don't you remember how you saved
my life at the battle Of the Wilder
ness:" t.s.
Gen. Blackmar at once became inter-
ested, and he called q group of COM
rades over to listen, saying: I saved
this mans life once. How was It
done, old comrade?'
ut was this way" was the response.
I'VE were on q hill, and the enemy
advanced steadily toward our intrench-
ment-. A veritable hail Of fire swept
our position. Suddenly you turned"
here the auditors were absorbed and
cxcited-"and ran, and ran after you
think that If you hadn't shown the
example would have been KILLED -
Boston Herald
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-12-21
THE MEMORIAL TABLET.

sets and Maine Sons of the American
Revolution and the Paul Jones club, Of
Portsmouth.
The tablet is two by three feet and
is set in a granite shaft six feet tall.
The tablet is erected near the ferry
landing of the Portsmouth, Dover 4
York street railway, where thousands
of people from all parts of the country
will see it each year and read the story
of the Ranger, her captain and his gal
liant crew, all of whom came from this
immediate vicinity.