The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-05-06
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II lie mad EN-. Plain
Dealer.
NO man ought ever to write n love.
letter without thinking constantly how
II VIII sound when it is read out loud
IN court-Somervllle Journal.
Ethel-Are you sure he has never
loved before2 Edlth-Yes. He told me
TO go round to the jewelers. and pick
out any ring wanted.-Judge.
singleton-Do you dodge when youi
wire throws things at you? Wederly-
certainly not. DO you suppose I'd take
a chance of getting hit?
Bobby-How much footwear do you
wear out in a month, Tommy Tommy
Two pairs Of q shoes and a pair OF
my mothers slippers.-Chicago News.
Physician-Your ailment lies In the
larynx, thorax, and epiglott Holll-
gan-lndade! An me afther thinkin'
tn trouble was In me throat.-Ram's
Horn.
See that man? Well, sir. he landed
In this country with bare feet and now
he's got millions" Gee Whit he must
be regular centipede. "-Philadelphia
Ledger.
"Well," remarked Hercules cheerful
ly, as he gazed up at Atlas. you seem
to be bearing up pretty well. even II
the whole world is down on you
Princeton Tiger.
Languid Leary-Dey tell me dat
Esquimaux eat soap an t'ink it's a
luxury. Perambulating Pete-Well,
OATS w'ot 1t is. II amt no necessity
Sis Hopkins Book.
Old Friends your part ve-y diff.
cult to play? Barnstormer-Well,
rather. I'm living on one meal a day,
and playing the role Of man with the
gout.-Detroit Free Press.
Dorothy-Isn't it horrld? I've just
discovered that my dolly is stuffed with
sawdust! Dick-Poohl What of Iii
Lots Of respectable people eat break
fast food.-Chicago News.
The Woman-George, this is the an
niversary of the day on which l prom
Used to be yours-have you forgotten
liz? The Brute-No. my dear, couldn't
But I've forgiven it.-Cleveland Lead
er.
Customer-Say. what kind Of crazy
novel Is this, anyway? 1t begins witt
the last chapter and ends with thu
first. Bookseller-Oh. that edition Il
intended for ladies only.-Chlcag'
News.
Mifkins-wasn't Benedict's dealt
rather sudden and unexpected? BIZ
kins-Well, It was sudden, but not nee
essarily unexpected. His wife had jus
graduated from a cooking SCHOOLGIRL
cago News.
Mrs. Crawford-This lovely caste
hat cost me only $65. Don't you thin
| look pretty In it, Crawford-Tll be
that eS-cent lamp-shade you bought tn
other day would be just as becoming
you.-Judge.
Merchandise you think you knc'
enough to assist me in the office? SmaI
Boy-Know enough Why, the las
boss | had was compelled to let m
20 because l knew more than he di'
J Chicago News.
Finnegan-Oh, yis, Oh can undei
sthand how thin astronomers can ca
= kilate tn distance av a stharr, II
| weight, dinsIty and color and all tho
: but tn thing thot gets me is how Il
divvle do they know its name!-Pucl
Aunt Nancy-Don't say she droppe
: the locket in her bosom; that isn't mot
est; say she dropped it in her nee
[,ucy-I see; and instead Of saying th'
the man unbosom himself, | must sa
he unnecked himself.-Boston iran
script.
Mrs. spenders-I wonder what wi
. be the popular styles in bonnets me-
: summerP Mr.. Spenders-My dear, W
mems bonnets will be divided into tN
4 STYLES. as usual-the style you don
d IKE and the style l can't aHoru'-
d Royal Magazine.
= "Don't be so lazy. There's plenty
n room at, the top. and you're ciev
|, enough to get there But. repl'
c the law genius. think how clever II
e 81 me TO find a place at the ootloi
n who're there isn't so much ROOM
e Philadelphia Ledger.
l, az think" said the prison visitor
l. ,vould he helpful TO you If you wou
y tate some good motto and try to Il
g .@ 80 ~ Eyes" said the convl'
d nov I'd like to select, for lnstan'
E We are here to-day and gone to-m'
It row ,"-Philadelphla Press
D .your daughters music is impro
,.rn said the professor. but wh
She runs the scales l have to watcn
o-ettv closely" Just like her fathel
q pr. Mrs Nuritch. He made
y s~onev in the grocery business
: Philadelphia Public Ledger
Cottarer-Do you ever rarn folks
Int meters like that there, sirf Art
oh yes; sometimes. Why do you as
-o,to 9er-Well, sir, this ere BOY
: ~,us Amt fit for nuthin'. n be II
n there delicate e can't do no ara VOL
W. NOT helm quite right in is cad
y asorght as 'ow this ere 'ud be nj
, ,irbt occupation for 'e.-Puneh.
y NO" said the lmpecuniOus one. y
v - believe all that you see IN
r newspapers." Are you prepared
n Anacifv?' the other man asked.
n am l saw a statement in the nnanc
columns that money was easy
ID hon tried TO negotiate a loan
~ :. tound that the reverse was true y
1 misunderstood the paragraph. IL !.
IF NOT say that people were easy