Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-03-04
COMES JON SUDDEN
After You've Been Drinking
in High Attitudes.
s 0 B Err u P T Fl E R E
YOU FEEL THE EFFECTS AS YOU
COME DOWN.
What Happened to Party That Took
a Toboggan Slide Down
the Jungfrau.

progressed about a mile beyond Chevy
Chase circle when the man with the red
nose and the fur-lined overcoat slammed
his paper down on his knee and chuckleo
joyousy. I'll be doggoned If they haven't
| found it out after twenty years. he re-
| marked to the man in the next seat. And
| to think it was couple of Dago scientific
gents at that
| The passenger addressed put down his
paper and inquired what had been hit ana
why.
"Shucks' said the man with the llluml-
mated proboscis, apologeticaly, Il thought
1 explained. l was just looking over TINS
mornings paper when / found an article
| in the foreign news that made me sit up
and take notice. 1t says that DIR. Mossi
and Prof Galcutti, two eminent Italian
| scientists, have discovered that at an att
| tude of more than 10000 feet above sea
| level no man can Lecome soused
Become WHAT" inquired the listening
commuter
"Soused," said the overcoated passen-
ger, impatiently. "Sptilicated, paraiyzed,
or, if you prefer it, just plain drunk In
other words these two scientific geeZers
have discovered that if you stick your nose
above the clouds to do your drinking you
can fill your system so full of booze that
your breath will light, and yet you won't
be even moderately eXhilarated. l know
because l tried it myself, but l also know
few more things about this high altitude
jag proposition that those professors prob
ably haven't discovered. And L ought 10
Know for I tried it.
He Ought to Know.
Roll up your carpet" said the man with
the ruby nose as his next door neighbor
smiled disbelevingly. This is no vaude-
vile show. and that tip is from headquar-
tiers. You can take it that way
r IN,
my early twenties, about a million
years ago, was hummer from the short
grass. 1 was the nearest thing to sixty
horse power mile minute red devil that
a human being could be, and when threw
on the speed clutch and locked my steering
gear for dead ahead l was a sure enough
mover. And when l got to running real
smooth missed all the ordinary elevations
and only hit the high places now and then
Maybe it was because of this nigh place
habit, or maybe 1t was something else, put
mountain climbing was one of my bugs. l
had plenty of money in those days so
didn't have to work for pay but I'm frank
to say that if the energy l wasted climbing
bald-headed mountains could have been
put into steam horsepower, there'd be
couple of boiler factories running yet. l
put about five years in galloping up and
down all the dnky hills in this country and
abroad, and finally one day 1 decided to
drift down the famous toboggan slide on
the Jungfrau. Never hear of it? Wen, the
skyward end of the Jungfrau slde-the
Jungfrau being a mountain ana not
young lady-is three miles from sea level
and the almost perpendicular drop is
about two miles. I had heard that to come
down that slide on little dinky toooggah
was about the Ii, hair-raisingest experience
ever known and 1 went after it right then.
Stocking Up.
ST got together half dozen of the breezy
push that used to travel around in my wake
nJ1r
ourselves, inside and out, with one of the
most complete stocks of assorted alcohol
| ever seen in those parts we made the climb.
Every time we climbed a hundred feet we'd
stop and take drink, and every time we
| put down slug we'd climb announcer nun
| bred feet. And I'm telling you that Wnen
we'd climbed seventeen hundred 1eet 10 the
| tune of seventeen drinks l was just as sober
| as when we started. 1 wondered how 1t
happened but began to get worried when
we'd gone twenty-seven drinks alstahce5
| that is twenty-seven hundred feet, and
every one of us was just as sober and col
| lected as Vermont white ribboner. AT the
tWo-mile line our large line of booze gave
out-We not having calculated on taking
more than a thousand drinks apiece on the
| way up-but when we got to the top OF the
slide we found little house up there called
shacklet or something like that, where we
got a line of foreign alcoholic beverages
and started in all over again. Gee! 1t posi-
lively makes me wonder now to think OF
the red white and blue rum we put away
on the top of that Jungfrau slide, way up
| in the clouds, and yet not one of us was so
| much as a bit zippy. Finally we got tired
| of sluicing down so much good booze with
ont result and we decided to make the slide
down I may mention that the SlOWeSt time
ever made on that two-mile strip of murder
Gus ice and snow-banked curves was a frac-
| ton over two minutes, and that was con-
sidered very bad. But as say, we were all
hunting for trouble, and we started
Then It Happened.
The man with the nose shuddered and
shook his head. II don't like to think
| about it even now he remarked. Il start
| ed down the slide in great shape. leading
| the way, and for five seconds enjoyed it.
| In ten seconds began to feel foolish, at
| the twenty-second mark I was dippy, in
| three-ouarters of a minute was drunk and
when I'd been under way full minute 1
twas positively maudlin. 1 don't remember
much about the rest of 1t, except that when
about half minute distant from the bot
| tom and going faster than a lightning ex-
press. / found 1 couldn't see the track at
all steered my toboggan Into CFift, and
| finished the last half mile of the course on
my ear. Every one of the party was In the
! same fix, except as to the ear-slide. Not
| one of us could talk or walk or think, and
| the sympathetic bystanders carried us into
orr hotel and put US to bed. 1t took from
| twenty-four to forty-eight hours for those
who participated in that little booze party
above the clouds to recover from their
| suspended jags, and when we did there
| was a pledge signed all around-that we
wouldn't take drink again except on good
old fat earth. If a man could live above
| the clouds all the time it wouldn't be SO
| had. but a white man can't do that. Just
| take It from me that the suspended jag that
| hits YOU like a freight car is a whole lot
| worse than the old-fashioned proposition
| that steals on you sweet and gradual
And the man with the nose and the over
| coat nodded vigorously at the man in the
next seat and piled out Of the car with the
rest of the passengers at the treasury.