davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tupelo journal., 1905-02-17
holes, slammed it on the counter beside

holes, slammed it on the counter beside
the grOceryman's legs and yelled:
wake up, Rip Van Wrinkle, the day
Of judgment has come, and you are
still buried. You got to get a move on
you or the procession will go off and
leave you. Say, are you afraid of rat
tlesnakes. and the bad boy shook the
paper box when an ominous rattle
came from within. as though a snake
had shaken its tail good and plenty.
Great Scott, boy, l believe you have
got a rattlesnake in that box" and he
jumped off the counter and grabbed
an iron fire poker. while the boy got
out his knife to cut the string on the
box. Nov, l~ookahere, l am suffering
from nervous prOstration and a snake
turned loose in this store would settle
it with me. l am at your mercy, but
by the holy smoke. if | am bitten by
that snake I will kill you and your old
snake. Now, take that box out of
here" and the old man picked up a
Ratchet and got behind a barrel.
well wouldn't that skin you" said
the boy, as he sharpened his knife on
a piece of old cheese, and felt of the
edge. Here you have been telling
me for years what a brave man you
were and how you were not afraid of
anything that wore hair. and now you
have fits because a little ive-foOt rat
tlesnake, with only ten rattles on,
makes a formal call on you. Gee, but
you are a squaw. Why, there is NJ
danger in the bite Of a rattlesnake,
since science has taken the matter up.
All you got to do. when a snake bites
you, and you begin to turn black, is
to drink a couple of quarts of whisky
and bind a poultice of limberger cheese
on the wound, and go to bed for a week
or ten days, and you come out all
right" and the bad boy began to cut
the string.
Nov, let up until I wait on these
customers said the old man, as he
went to the Coor and let in a commit
tee of women who we're to buy some
supplies for a church sociable. The
women lined up on each side of the
store, looking at the canned things on
the shelves, and the old man was try
ing to be polite, when the bad boy
opened the box and laid on the floor
The Tupelo journal., 1905-02-17

to save my life, but if, as you say, we
are in a country where a mans life is
held SO cheaply, by the great horn
spoon, | will eat every oyster in the
house, and the Lord have mercy on
me- | told him that was about the
size of it, and he would eat or die, and
maybe he would die anyway, and just
then a wicked-looking negro with a big
oyster knife came to the table and
looked ugly at dad and said: Have
another dozen?' and dad said: Yes
and then he began to eat as though his
life depended on it, and l could hear
the great wads of oysters strike with a
dull thud on exposed places inside of
dad. and before he got up from the Ia
BILE he had eaten them all, and he told
the man he would be in again to lunch
after awhile. Dad is the bravest man
l ever saw, and don't you forget it.
He would have come out all right, l
suppose, and lived, if it hadn't been for
his devilish morbid appetite for travel
and adventure. Quick as we got out
of the oyster place dad wanted to take
4 steamboat ride down the river to the
Eads jetties at the mouth of the river.
and we went on board, and had a nice
ride down to the mouth. After we
had looked over the %jetties, where Eads
made an artificial canal big enough for
the largest ocean steamers to come up
to New Orleans, the passengers wanted
the captain to run the boat outside the
bar, into the blue ocean, where the
waves come from. Gee, but l hope /
may live long enough to forget the
ride. We hadn't got a boats length
outside the bar before the boat began
to roll and toss, and held on to dads
hand, and wished l was dead. / told
him my little tummy ached, and l
wanted a lemon. Dad said my little
tumlny, with its three oysters in it,
was not worth mentioning, and told
me to look at him. Talk about your
Mount Pelee and your Vesuvius, those
volcanoes were tame and uninteresting
compared to dad, leaning over the rail-
ing. and shouting words at the sharks
in the water. Why, he just doubled up
like a jackknife one minute and taen
Strengthened up like an elephant stand
ing on his hind legs in a circus tie
next minute, and he kept saying:
sYe-up,' and all the passengers said:
Poor man. | told them he was not
SO poor, for he owned a brewery at
home.
Well. we finally got back to New
Orleans and dad took a hack to
the hotel, and told the driver not to
pass any saloon where there were oys-
ter shells on the sidewalk. We came
home next day. Well, | guess | will
get my snake out of the icebox, and
PC home and comfort dad.
The Tupelo journal., 1905-02-17
SPEAKERS PREDIcAMENT.
Couldn't Shake with His Right Hand
Because It Was Performing
Important Service.

One of the big New York magazines re-
Gently sent a representative to Washing.
ton to induce Speaker Cannon to write
a series of articles on congressional af.
fairs, says a Washington letter to the
New York American. As the speaker left
his seat for his cloakroom, where the
magazine man was waiting, one of the
ends of his suspenders broke in twain.
He gave his left hand to his caller, while
holding up his trousers with the other,
and asked, dryly and seriously:
Say, you don't happen to be toting an
extra pair of ~galluses around in your
pockets, be your
The magazine man didn't. and he said
so. Then they both sat down and the
speaker was told what was wanted of
him.
mo, sir" he said. II haven't the time,
and if | did have it | am neither a litter
attatorium nor a journalisticum. Sorry"
and the interview came to a close. Then
the speaker borrowed a pin, and. resum-
ing his chair. raped softly with his gavel
and said: The house viii please be in
order"
The Tupelo journal., 1905-02-17

At the New York State Assembly of
Mothers, a prominent New York doctor
toidthe 500 women presentthathealthy
American women were SO rare as to be
almobt extinct.
This seems to be a sweeping state
ment of the condition of American
women. Yet how many do you know
who are perfectly well and donothave
some trouble arising from a derange-
ment of the female organism which
manifests itself in headaches, back
aches, nervousness, that bearing-down
feeling, painful or irregular menstrual
ton, leucorrhea, displacement of the
uterus, ovarian trouble, indigestion or
sleeplessness? There is a tried and
true remedy for all these ailments.
Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound has restored more American
women to health than all other RENE
dies in the world. 1t regulates,
strengthens and cures diseases of the
female organism as nothing else can.
For thirty years it has been curing
the worst forms of female com
plants.
Such testimony as the following
should be convincing.
Mrs. Il. Z. WllladSen, OF manning,
Ia, writes:
Dear Mrs. Pinkham:-
/" lean truly say that you have saved my life
and | cannot express my gratitude to you in
words. For two years | spent lots of money
in doctoring without any benefit for mem
strual irregularities and / had given up all
hopes of ever being well again, but 1 was
persuaded to try Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound and three bottles lave re
stored me to perfect health. Had it not been
for You | would have been in my grave
to-day"
Lydia e. Plnkham's Vegetable Com
The Tupelo journal., 1905-02-17
WAS CURED RAPIDLY
RHEUMATISM IN wv SEVERE GASES
MASTERED IN FEW WEEKS.
The Remedy Used by MIR. Schroeppel and
by Captain Balfour in Great Demand in
Vicinity of Their Homes.


by Captain Balfour in Great Demand in
Vicinity of Their Homes.
In the winter of 1923 MI. Schroeppel
was confined to his bed by a sever at
tack of rheumatism. His doctors treat
ment proved unsuccessful, but he subse-
Quently regained his health by means
which he describes with great enthu-
siasm.
"After five or six weeks of helpless
ness and pain," said he, "during which
I was receiving regular visits from the
doctor, I felt as bad as ever. Just then
my mother, a woman eighty years Of
age, paid me a visit. She had received
great benefit from DR.. Williams Pink
Pills, and she was confident they would
help me. At her solicitation l gave up
the doctors treatment and took the pills
in it's place."
"And were you cured as the result Of
taking her advice?"
eyes, quickly and thoroughly. Be-
fore the second box was finished I felt
very manifest improvement, and within
two weeks I was able to leave my bed and
take up my neglected farm work. I con-
tinued to use the pills, however, until
eight boxes had been taken, although
long before that I felt hat every YES
tige of the disease had been eradicated.
"Are there no traces left?"
absolutely none. For a year and
three months there has never been the
slightest return Of the old trouble. For
this happy result land my family freely
praise DR.. Williams Pink Pills"
Within the bounds of China township,
st. Clair county, Mich, there is no bet
ter known farmer than Mr.. Henry
Schroeppel. His cure has therefore nat
urally attracted a great deal of attention.
One of MI. Schroeppel's neighbors, Cap
tain George Balfour, after hearing Of the
salutary results in Mr.. Schroeppel's case,
decided to try DR.. Williams Pink Pills
for an attack of rheumatism from which
he was himself suffering. He took eight
or ten boxes and now declares himself
free from the painful ailment."
It is little wonder that DR.. Williams
Pink Pills are muchin favor in the COM
munity where Mr.. %Schroeppel and Cap
tain Balfour are SO well and favorably
known. They are sold by all druggists
and are equally successful i'll curing
neuralgia, sciatica aud partial paralysis
The Tupelo journal., 1905-02-17
How to Save Yourself.

In working to saw others we do the
most sOod to ourselves. An English
mar who was going to drown himself
found two sovereigns in his pocket,
and, thinking it was a pity to waste so
much, gave them to a poor woman who
was starving for bread. When he saw
how happy the pieces made the mother
and her children, he bethought himself
of how much happiness he could occa-
sion by all the boards OF gold and sill
yer he had in his cellar. He gave I'D
the idea of suicide and devoted the rest
of his life to doing good. By saving
others he saved himself!
The Tupelo journal., 1905-02-17
Timely Praise.

Some persons are far too much
erous and well-timed praise. They
would keep all their flowers in an ice
house. Letting in a little sunshine
upon them at times would not be amiss.
How lavish was the wise and large
hearted Paul with his words of COM
.mendation, whenever they could be
honestly spoken or writteni
The Tupelo journal., 1905-02-17

"BY H GREAT HORN /
WILL EAT EVERY OYSTER IN THE
HOUSE"
a stuffed rattlesnake that was as nat
ural as life, and touched a r%attlebox
in his pocket, and the trouble began.
The women saw the snake curled up,
ready to spring, and they all went
through the door at once, tipping over
everything that was loose, and scream
ing, while the old man, when he saw
the snake, got into the front show win
dow and trembled and yelled for the
police. A policeman rushed into the
store and when he saw the snake he
backed out of the door, and the bad
bow sat down on a box and began to
cat some raisins out of a box, as though
he was not particularly interested in
the commotion.
ARREST that boy with the snake,%
said the groceryman.
Come out of that wild your menag-
erie" said the policeman, shaking his
his club.
Come in and get the snake if you
want it," said the boy. st don't want
it n more, anyway" and he took the
stuffed snake up by the head and
laid it across his lap, and began to
The Tupelo journal., 1905-02-17

shake the %rattles, and laugh at the gro
ceryman and the policeman and the
crowd that had collected in front Of
the store. The policeman came in
laughing, and the old groceryman
crawled out of the show window, and
all breathed free again, and finally the
policeman went out and drove the
crowd away, and went on his beat
again, after shaking his club at the
boy, and the boy, the groceryman, the
snake and the cat remained in the
store. The groceryman took a swig
out of a bottle of whisky to settle his
nerve, and the boy took up his snake
and pushed it towards the cat, which
ran up a step ladder and yowled.
Put that COMPOUNDED old stuffed snake
in the ice box and sit down here and
and tell me something. I saw your
father on the street yesterday, and he
is a sight. His stomach is twice as big
as it was. and he looks troubled. What
has got into him."
We'll, I'll tell you; dad has got what
they call a morbid appetite. Whatever
you do. old skate, don't you ever get
4 morbid appetite"
What is a morbid appetizer" asked
the old man, as he peeled a panama and
began to eat il. 81 can always eat
anything that is not tied down. but l
don't know about this morbid bust
ness"
Scientists say a morbid appetite is
one that don't know when it has got
enough. Dad likes good things, but he
wants all there is on the table. Now.
at New Orleans, before we came home,
dad and l went in a restaurant to get
some oysters, and you know the oys-
ters there are the biggest in the world.
When we got there dad was hungry,
and the thought of raw oysters On the
half shell made him morbid. He had a
blue-point appetite, and ordered four
dozen on the half shell, for himself,
and one dozen fer me. Well, you
would have dropped dead in your
tracks if you had been there. Six
walters brought on the five dozen oys-
ters, and each oyster was as big as a
PIC DldIt. OLA uOLSA Os SIClS "OuiO
cover this floor from the door to the
iceboX. Dad almost tainted when he
saw them, but his pride was at stake.
and he made up his mind if he didn't
them all the walters would think
ne was a tenderfOot and so he started
in. The first oyster was as big as a
calf's liver, and nobody but a sword
swallower could ever have got it down.
Dad cut one oyster into quarters and
got away with it, and after awhile be
murdered another, and after he had
eaten three he wanted to go home and
leave them. Then is the time his little
boy got in his work. l told dad if he
eat all the oysters the walters
ard the people would mob him, that it
was a deadly offense to order oysters
and not eat them. and that they would
probably kill us both before We got out
of the place. He said; 'Hennery, l
don't like oysters like | used to, and it
to me | couldn't eat another one
The Tupelo journal., 1905-02-17
FACE LIKE RAW BEEF
Burning Up with n Terrible Itching
Eczema-SpcediIy Cured by
Cuticura,

"The Cuticura Remedies cured me of a
terrible eczema from which l had suffered
egony and pain for eight long years, be-
ing unable to obtain any help from the
hest doctors, and trying many remedies
without success. My scalp was covered
with scabs and my face was like a piece
of raw beef, my eyebrows and lashes were
falling out, and | felt as if burning up
from the terrible itching and pain. Cuti-
cura gave me relief the very first day, and
made a complete cure in a short time. To
my very great joy, my head and face are
row Gear and well.-Miss Mary NJ. Fay,
10 West Main ST., Westboro, Mass"
The Tupelo journal., 1905-02-17
The Bad Boys Joke with a Stuffed
Rattlesnake-He Tells the Old
G~roceryman About His Dads
Morbid Appetite.
BY HON. GEORGE w. PECK.

BY HON. w. PECK.
(EX-Governor Of Wisconsin. formerly pub
Usher of "Peck's Sun" author OF 'Peck's
Bad Boy" etc.)
Copyright, 1904, by Joseph 3. Bowles)
THE old groceryman was sitting or
| the counter. with his legs stretche1
lengthwise, his heels resting on a sack
of -four, and his back against a pile of
wrapping paper, his eyes closed, his
pipe gone out, and the ashes sitting
from it on the cat that was asleep in
his lap. He was waiting for a Gus
toner to come in and buy something
to start the days business. He had
sprinkled the floor. and swept the dirt
up in a corner and he was sleepy.
There was a crash in front of the store
a barrel of ak handles and garden tools
had been tipped over on the sidewalk,
the door opened with a jerk and closed
with a slam, and the bad boy came in
with a lorg paper box. perforated with
The Tupelo journal., 1905-02-17
Wanted Souls Saved.

1t is said that once when Sturgeon
was seriously ill he grew extremely
impatient to get back to the pulpit, say
ing, among other things: IF I aver
preach again | will leave out every bit
of flourish and preach nothing but
present and pressing truth, hurl it at
the people with all my might, live at
high pressure, and direct all my ener-
gies to the salvation of souls"
The Tupelo journal., 1905-02-17

had fed. The
household of Me-
thuselah was in
CONSERVATION and
deep sorrow. That
morning she had
gone forth with her
water pot to draw
water fro m the
spring, and late in
the forenoon, not
having returned,
one of the boys was
sent in search OF
her. In a short time
no p9mp running
The Tupelo journal., 1905-02-17

Solomon declared that there was moth
ing new under the sun, but Nahum, the
Elkoshite, evidently foresaw the auto
mobile when he wrote: "Chariots shall
rage in the streets; they shall jostle one
against another in the broad ways; they
shall seem like torches; they shall run
like the lightnings boston Globe.
The Tupelo journal., 1905-02-17

When a footpad approaches you seize
him by the center of the arm and press
your thumb violently against a nerve in
the inner elbow joint. The footpad will
then probably shoot five bullet-holes in
you while he shrieks with pain. This is
iiu iitsu.-St. Louis Globe Democrat.
The Tupelo journal., 1905-02-17
Only a Guess.

Bacon-Where do you suppose that 203
Meter Hill got its name?
Egbert-Oh, | guess that's where the
Yonkers Statesman.
The Tupelo journal., 1905-02-17

There are men who finally consent to go
to work when they can't make a living
in any other way.-Philadelphia Record.
The Tupelo journal., 1905-02-17

Girls will be girls, all right, but the
trouble is so few of them ever realize an
age limit.-Chicago Chronicle.
The Tupelo journal., 1905-02-17

A Guaranteed Cure for Piles.
itching, Blind, Bleeding or rotrudingP Piles.
Your druggist will refund money ii PAzo
OINTMENT fails to cure in 6 to IA days. soc.
The Tupelo journal., 1905-02-17

lydia e. pinkhams Vegetable Compound Succeeds Where others FAIL
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-03-03
LONDON is
Decision Is Looked Upon as a Victory
for British Views.

London, Feb, .-,rhe foreign office
received the findings of the North sea
commission with apparent equanimity,
but declined to give out any official en-
preston of opinion thereon. The Asso-
ciated Press understands unofiicially,
however, that the foreign Office is we'll
pleased With the findings.
The findings are received In London
With every sign of qualification. The
whole report is regarded here as dis
crediting the Russian case. Even the
phase that the firing was not unduly
prolonged. which seems to afford a GER
tain Justification for the opening of the
firing, is at the same time taken as
implying that the Russians continued
10 fire after they had discovered their
mistake.
The defnite finding of the adn1irals
hat no ~torpedoboats were at the Scene
of the incident gives considerable salts
faction and it is pointed Que That the
British contentious We're further upheld
in the finding that the trawlers Crane
and Aurora We're the boats which the
Russians mistook for torpedoboats.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-03-03
Work Of lDeLaWnakeIs
Proceedings OF the Week in Brief in
Both Houses of tbs South Dakota
Legislature. > ,
FRIDAYS

Pierre. 5. %, Feb. H4.--ln the house to
day Psrmley. OF The committee ON jinmi-
grafton. secuted the adoption OF a resolu-
it;op which in effect iuStructs the house
appropriation committee 20 insert an item
of s15e in the general bill for the purpose
OF issuing an official map OF the state.
showing the resources OF the state in a
condensed form on the same.
The two reports on the Wolf unit bill
showed that the bounty question has not
lost any points of argument from many
battles in past sessions over the ISSUE. nut
the bounty people Won after a discussion
in which a number OF members took a
part.
Among the new house bills presented,
Van Osdel sent in a resolution for 4 con-
stitutional amendment TO prohibit the Civ
ing 10 or acceptance of railroad passes by
state officials and their families. and an
other resolution instructins the South Da-
kota delegation TO support President
Roosevelt in his railroad rates proposition.
and this was secured as a special order
for next Monday in OF the
whole.
other house bills we've: BY Hilstad,
providing :, penalty for a physician who
ment. and by the state affairs committee
requiring railroads to put in sidetraoks
on request when stations are more than
fourteen miles apart.
Two bills regulating the taking of carp
from streams We're indefinitely postponed,
the house bin on motion of Wilson because
a senate bin following covering the same
grounds. and the senate bin on motion of
Scott because the general game bill GOV
cred the whole question.
The house passed senate bills allowing
consolidated school districts TO increase
the limit of school bonds to 5000: provid-
ing a penalty for the failure OF physicians
to register their certificates. and requiring
the registration of moor vehicles.
Senate business:
The senate appropriations committee re-
ported the capitol building bill without
Recommended ton. ana it will be up Mon
day for final action.
Principal among senate bills presented
were those by Cass,ll, to allow a wife to
take advantage of exemptions when her
husband has failed 10 take advantage OF
the right, and by Cook. requiring foreign
corporations doing business in the state to
pay a license fee.
The principal senate bills passed were To
provide state aid for nigh schools and ere
ating a state library commission.
The senate made laws by passing house
bills compelling mutual insurance com
panies to give the n~on-negotiable note re-
quired under the law providing for divi-
sion of cost of township line fire guards.
and increasing the term of compulsory
attendance at school to sixteen weeks in
one wear.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-03-03
~oNsHlNE cAMP.

Bonesteel. S. d. March 1.-The SOC
house and barn of Robert j. Nickelson
who recently lied from the reservation
because l1e was being hunted down for
horse stealing. have become the seat of
a few startling discoveries. Besides
'rustling'' horses and cattle from Rose
bud settlers and stochmen, ii is now
quite apparent that Nickerson and his
Wife have been h owners and opcr-
ators of a whisky still.
While passing the deserted homestead
of the Nickerson's the other day a local
real estate man. i'm company with q
prospective settler from Iowa. stopped
and investigated the premises. Kegs
of water, piles Of bottles, empty jugs,
with an abundance of revolver and
Winchester shells We're in evidence.
There was a large square vat filled with
potatoes, With Il small shallow hole con-
nected, in which were found h and
partially burned corn. A copper boiler
and smaller vessels probably used fol
condensing We're discovered.
The barn wa carefully incloSed, fitted
with a; strong door. 1t was larga
enough to house fifteen or eighteen
horses and had supplies II other evil
Iences enough to give assurance that
more horses than his own had occa-
sionally been stabbed there.
Many mysteries are being cleared VI
as Il result of this discovery of an aban-
uoned sti!!. Whisky had found its way
into Jamison, Neb., the origin of which
no one knew. The indians. too, had got
hold of it somewhere. the exact place
being cleverly concealed. 1t is no more
than probable that h Nickersons IL
legally manufactured and furnished
The new brand of BoneSteel dew