West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1905-11-23
POUR EMINENT SPECIALISTS ARB
In CONSTANT ATTENDANCE
at HIS BED SIDE,
Has Telsgraphed for His Family
Physioion, Dr., Lanham, Who is
in Full Sympathy With
His Prostration.
Afraid to Apprise Gov. Dawson Of
The Grea. Calamity Which Has
Befallen the Machines.

The news from the pie elections
in the States of Ohio, New York
and Pennsylvania has simply pros
trated me. Four of the most emil
nent specialists known to the med
ical fraternity are in constant atten.
dance at my bed side pumping quiz
nine and animation pills into me in
the hope of reviving me. / have
just had them TO telegraph my fam
lily phYsicion, DR.. Thomas Fleming
Lanham, to come on the first train.
l have but very little confidence in
the eminent specialists doing me
any good as they are not familiar
with the anatomy of piemen. 1t
takes an expert die;itian 10 prescribe
for sick pieman and physician
who has had long years of experI-
ence in doctoriDg piemen who have
met with the fate Of my brethren in
OHIO, New York and Pennsylvania.
DIR. Lanham has had both the ex-
perience and feeling. He has been
the physician of the Machine for
years, and on several occasions he
has been laid on the bed to moan
and groan for the pie he has lost.
/ have great faith in Dr. Lanham's
ability as a pie physician and hope
for speedy recovery after his ar
rival. He is not only qualified to
treat me but he will be in full SYM
pathy with my prostration. SYM
pathy is the greatest tonic that DR..
Lanham could prescribe for me at
the present time.
! have not the heart, If had the
strength, to cable Gov. Dawson of
the awful calamity that has befailen
the Machines in Ohio, New York
and Pennsylvania. If l was sure
that II would only PROSTATE him /
might cable the Governor, bnt on
that point am more than a doubt.
ing Thomas. | am fearful that such
distressing news would make him
take his flight to the celestial shore,
a place from which we are taught
that piemen cannot return. The
Governor is doing too much for hu-
manity to think about erecting
monument to his memory for sever
al years to come. Should the Gov
ernor take his departure from moth
er earth his most benevolent tax
laws would perish with him. This
would be too great a loss to human
ity and one from which humanity
would not recover for century or
more. No one understands this
better than the piemen of West Vir-
ginia and their lamentation could
be distinctly heard from ocean to
ocean. AS for Elder Wheisell and
myself our lamentation could be
heard in the New Jeruselam.
As | lie on my couch moaning
am trying to unravel the mystery of
what struck the Machines in Ohio,
New York and Pennsylvania. It
could not have been the hand Of the
people for which the Machines have
done so much. No, 1t could not
have been that for the people have
always been grateful to the Machine
for permitting them to exist. Now
and then the Machine exacts tri-
butte from the people to impress up.
on them that they are not forgotten.
A greater love hath no mortal for
the people than the Machine, pro.
viding the people do not interfere
with the pies. There can be no
friction between the people and the
Machine so long as the former un
derstand that there is a strict quar-.
antine on the pies.
So I must look elsewhere for the
cause for dynamitlng the Machines
in Ohio, New York and Pennsylva-
MA. There is no question about the
total distraction Of the Machines.
and what I would like to know is the
motive which prompted the dis,ruc.
tion and the name Of the man who
igniied the fuse leading to the dyn.
amite. This is something which in
terests me very much. 1t is not
mere idle curiosity with me. The
West Virginia Machine Is very near
and dear to me, as it is to the other