The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-11-03
Confession Of aGirI

Charles and I had been engaged
tentatively for a month when began
to- detect signs OF uneasiness on his
part This did not disturb me at first,
because Charles is a poet and a genius
by mperament-though he has a
very lucrative profession besides-and
genius is naturally variable. so I sup
posed it to be a passing mood He
came infrequentIy, seated himself re-
mOtely, and gazed at me with sunken
head and an appearance OF gloomy
preOccupatiOn, as though I were at
the other end Of q telescope
At first I was affectiOnately solicit
Gus, but that only seemed to make
him impatient so I paid no attention
to his manner and read, since he
seemed fndisposed to conversation
Charles was writing another poem
and he always acts that way while he
is writing a poem Besides, he was
having a fight with a man down on La
Sale street, which he found very alb
sOrbing. So I supposed one Of these
things was troubling him
One day, however, his gloom be-
came so noticeable uncomfortable and
seemed to have such a personal appli-
cation that I had to insist upon know
ing what was the matter.
ITS no use" he burst out We've
tried it and it's no use. I must give
YOU I'D and live my life alone. must
have freedom, absolute freedom!
cannot stand even the restraints OF
affectiOnI You have become very
dear TO me, but cannot be hampered
in my mental pursuits by continual
sense Of human obligation. 1 am a
disenchaHted, unhappy man, who has
learned that there is no such thing
IN 7 have
TO right to absorb your devotion and
your unspOiled young life in my
Wretched, alien nature. Marriage for
US would be a miserable, chafng
thing and our love would die in cap
tivity I must renOunce you!
Yes, 1 must give you a chance to
ind elsewhere the happiness you
would never find with me. 7 am go
ing away. I am going over to Eng
land 10 take charge Of our London
office ! shall sail next Saturday"
Then he looked at me tragically
and 7 began to cry because felt so
sorry for him. Though L could not
see any particular reason for his re-
nunciatiOn Of me except his own
wishes, it seemed to affect him deeply,
1 also felt sorry for myself, because
on the face Of things 1t appeared that
was being Tilted But may crying
seemed to annoy him, and when he
told me that he had always credited
me with too much self-cOntrOl for
mysteries 7 stopped Charles then
said he would come over Thursday
night to say goodbye When I-made
no further demonstration Of protest,
he looked relieved and went away
briskiy
Thursday morning I remembered
that I had an engagement with Bert
Griffith to go to the theater thar even
ing. 50 I sent a note to Charles ex-
planning that 1 should not be able to
see him again. 1t seemed TO me
good way to avoid a parting scene,
which would be at best be painful
Charles telephOned me at midnight
after I got home from the theater and
seemed rather annoyed that had not
stayed at home. He also gave me,
with particularly, his address, TO
which. he said, 1 might write. Still,
I did not pay much attention to it,
because il seemed to me that since
our parting was to be final there was
no particular use in exchanging let
tiers
I was very busy for the next two
or three weeks because Bert Griffith
had a vacation and we went around
together a great deal Several view
cards and a note came from Charles,
written before sailing. and also a let
ter mailed from Liverpool. He said
he had expected to find a steamer let
ter from me, but feared had mailed
it too late
A week later another letter came
from London Charles wrote that he
was disappointed and greatly sur
prised to find no letter at his bankers
from me, and asked me why had not
written. I really meant TO reply to
this but Bert about that time began
TO ask me to marry him and it took
50 much ingenuity on my part to con-
vince him that this would not
be advisable that had little time for
anything else. I found that some Of
Charles phrases. which I had mem
orized, helped me a lot and explain
ed vaguely and tragically to Bert how
irksOme would become the bonds Of
affection, and that We must each live
our lives alone. which seemed to pug
zle him almost as much as it had puz-
lied me
A longer letter came from Charles.
which bordered on uneasiness. Can
anything have happened?' he asked
Ny silence began to be inexpiicable-
He appeared not to be enjoying
himself very much Charles has as
and the English customs and service
seemed to be counter 70 them all He
detested tea and TO drink it for break
fast. he wrote, was inhuman- Fur
thermore- the EngLish servants irri
rated him. unreasonable.
a y-eek later a1o-lies letter cane
Il was lnief l. -ad- @Oncp more,
Tsng- az nj you writer This vas fci-
lowed IN three days BY one that said:
WelI il you don't want to write,
don't
was Just going 70 answer those
letters this morning and at least send
aim a view card or something when
another letter came which read.
what IN thunder IS the matter with
vou2 Cant stand this English ELI
mate. 50 I'm sailing for home on the
-Izzt boat
So, % course Z shall not have time
- write HIN IT al, a. ss Ein probab-