Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1905-06-17
LETTER TO THE DEARQDGIRL
miss ANNAPOLIS" HEARS
FROM SWEETHEART
Sorry He Did Not Display Former
Warmth of Loving
Affection.
DR.. BABCOCK HEARD FROM.
[ Writlen Ior the Evening CapilaI.l

New Hampton, Ia. June l3, 1900
Miss Annapolis. BY the Severn,
My Dear Girl ~ arrived safely
home after a delicious week spent in
your company. / have partially re-
cuperated from my platonic dehauch,
and will try and keep myspromise and
write you. Though ii pains me To do
so, { will answer those questions
which found it impossible TO answer
when you lay with your dear head
upon my manly breast while my scald-
ing tears ran down the back of your
neck You accused me of being cold
and not appreciating your improve
ments. = Ii did not display that
warmth of affection which | had
shown upon former occasions, it was
not that had found a fairer maiden
or transferred my love. AS you insist
upon an explanation, | will tell you
the truth. | never told a lie in my
life. My mother used TO whip me
for it.
wasn't really cold, dear. was
simply shocked. felt much like the
old German who, returning from u
long absence from his wife. was led
TO exclaim who's been here since
is been gone ?'' 1t was those very
improvements of which you seem SO
vain that paralyzed me. It was all
right TO put your sewers underground.
You might go little further and
take your garbage barrels from your
front doors, and still retain my love.
Possibly ! might love you little
harder, but-must l tell it. you have
been using vile face paint. You have
been doing your very best TO ruin your
Historic State Circle with hideuus
modern buildings. Such cosmetics
may cover up your wrinkles, but
don't you know that those very
wrinkles constitute your principal
charms They were dearer to me
than the manufactured dimples on the
chin of "A modern belle. Was there
nobody TO tell you what horrible
thing you we're doing | wonder
that Judge Taney did not turn around
and serve an injunction ON you. Ii
was we'll for the Goths and Vandalls
that they did their nefarious work to
the right rear of DeKalb. Should th@
lusty warrior ever turn and view the
sacrilege. he will come off his pedes-
tai and charge them instead OF Red
Goats And you call that improve
ments p Heavens Are you daft !?
You have fallen into the snares of de-
ceivers. and they will ruin you If
You don't watch ont. " Of course
don't know, bnt l would venture n
wager that the pirates who put that
job on you, who built that dry goods
box and tried to ornament it with
out of place OOrinthian columns, were
grafters and we're actuated neither
through love for or malice against
you. Everything about it bears the
ear marks of graft. Unless you call a
halt, Old Gotrox from PorkopOlis will
swoop down on you, get control of
st. Anne's. square the circle, tear
the sacred ivy from the walls of the
old church and cover it with adver-
tisements of his hams, shoulders and
sausage castings. It's pretty late, but,
if you will quit now, you won't be
entirely ruined OF course the damage
already done can't be remedied unless
you are willing to submit to heroic
surgery. No girl, old or young, can
look very we'll with an unsightly
hummocky tumor in her best circle,
and, il you take my advice, you will
cut it out Still, il you don { get any
worse, / will still love you.
How do you suppose Queen Bess
woud look in q modern evening dress,
or your Godmother. Queen Anne. in
bloomers If you associate with
these wretches much longer, they will
have you in a bathing dress made
from a pocket handkerchief, and what
sight you will be. These modern
fashions are something fearful. They
take girl when she is two minutes
old and two feet long and put her
into a six-foot dress. Ii you wish to
show her pink toes to admiring friends,
YOU need the services of a navigator
or mining engineer TO find them.
Now begins the evolution of the mod
ern dress. AS she grows older and
longer, they cut off from the bottom
have neither the time nor the dispo-
sition to describe all of the ridiculous
changes, but by the time she is five or
six. the bottom of that dress has en-
tirely disappeared They don't clothe
anything but her cupola. Her poor,
scIawny, spider legs are exposed to
the weather and the mosquitoes, and
she resembles nothing so much as a
pair of tongs with a ribbon tied
around the top. At last the dress be-
gins to reappear and grows longer.
Soon they cut off from the top and
splice on to the bottom. BY that time
it reaches her heels aud she is ready
to debut into Society, the top is 50
abbreviated that she has the appearance
of trying to crawl through it. don
think some of the girls at the June
bail will have TO struggle much more
20 shed the whole outfit And Yet they
say that the doctors are unable to ac-
count for the exceeding prevalence OF
eve strain among the Inlddies. While
with you, 1 heard some of your people
say You were asleep and thar they
were going 10 wake you up. Don't lei
them do it lis a blessed sleeI
which
1Knits the ruffied sleeve of care. =
Do You know how the rest of this
World of Grab and Graft is living
| DO you know what the Progress
which they are continually dinnine
| into your ears means I'll tell you.
/ Lit means cities and towns built just
| like checker boards, with buildings
Just like the cubes of cheese You see Oh
lunch counters. Everything is fol
utility and nothing for beauty-ths
| beauty which God created. Every
| thing is for the Almighty Dollar
Even the babies grab for at while a.
| their mothers breast. Such a life rem
| ders a man selfish and suspicious oi
his neighbor. He has no time for any
| thing except to accumulate and hoard
1 Everyone trots in the .ciTcle follow O.
by the Indiana farmer who every yeal
planted little more corn to feed