Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-09-07

will leave a dog and get on a human
being, because they like the smell of
garlic, as every Spaniard eats garlic
a dozen times a day. They are trying
to teach dogs to eat garlic, but no self
respecting dog will touch it.
We have had to fill up on garlic in
order to be able to talk with the peo-
pie, cause dad got seasick the first day
here, everybody smelled so oniony.
Dad wanted a druggist to put up onions
in capsules. like they do quinine, so
he could take onions and not taste them,
but he couldn't make the man under
stand. There ought to be a law against
any person eating onions, unless he is
under a death sentence. But you can
stand a man with the onion habit, after
you get used to it. 1t is a woman, a
beautiful woman, one you would like
to have take you on her lap and pet
you, that ought to know better than
to eat onions. Gee, but when you see
makes her ache to carry her beauty
around, and you get neal to her and
expect to breathe the odor of roses and
violets, it makes you tired when she
opens her mouth to say soft words
of love, and there comes to your nos
trils the odor of onions. Do you know,
nothing would make me commit sui
eide so quick as to have a wife who
hnhitua11v 1padod horcalf with onippCS
Dad was buying some candy for me
at a confectionery shop, of a beautiful
Spanish woman, and when he asked
how much it was, she bent over towards
him in the most bewitching manner,
and breathed in his face, and said:
"Quatro-realis, seignor," which meant
-four bits, mister" and he handed
her a f~ive-dollar gold piece and went
out doors for a breath of fresh air. and
let her keep the change. He said she
was welcome to the $3.50. if she would
not breathe towards him again.
Well, we have taken in the town,
looked at the cathedrals. attended the
sessions of the Cortez, and the gambling
houses, saw the people sell the staple
products of the country, which are
prunes, tomatoes and wine. The peo-
pie do not care what happens as long
as they have a quart Of wine. In some
countries the question Of existence is
bread, but in Spain it is wine. No
one is SO poor they cannot have poor
,piIl1 or11 with Uinn nnthj1p a1Gn X
necessary; but a piece Of cheese and
bread helps the wine some. though
either could be dispensed with. In
some countries wine, women and
song" are all that is necessary to live.
Here it is wine. cheese and an onion.
We went to see the king, because he
is such a young boy, and dad thought
it would encourage the ruler to see an
American statesman, and to mingle
with an American boy, who could give
him cards and spades, and little casino.
and beat him at any game. made dad
put on a lot of badges we had col
conventions held there. and when they
were all pinned on dads breast he
looked like an admiral. There was a
badge of Modern Woodmen. one of the
Hardware Dealers association, one OF
the Wholesale Druggists, one of the
Amalgamated Association of Railway
Trainmen, n of the Farmers Alliance.
one of the Butter and Cheeseman's con-
vention, one of the State Undertakers
Guild, and half a dozen others in brass.
bronze and tin, OIL various colored rib
bons.
Say, do you know, when they ushered
us into the throne room at the palace,
and the little king, who looked like a
student in the high school, with dys-
pepsia from over study and cake be-
tween meals, saw dad, he thought he
was the most distinguished American
he had ever seen, and he invited dad
up beside him on the throne, and dad
sat in the chair that the queen will sit
in when the boy king gets married. and