The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-24
HUMOR OF THE Day

HUMOR OF THE DAY
Piggmus-Fogg says that his sister Ann
talks culture till ne falls asleep.
Dismukes-she must be a sort Of an Ann
Piggmus-Yes, ether that or worse
Washington Life.
that bill now-you'll have to wait a while.
And I'd like a suit this spring, too.
Ons oTnorrow.-Cieveland Leader.
= was surprised" said the Rey. Mr..
last Sabbath I should think you'd do bet
ter"
i'oh." replied Hardcase, IT usually do.
/ was in wretched form last sanday."-
Philadelphia Press.
Il don't suppose you know what it is to
DO ezpoEed to temptation every moment OF
your working day, as I am"
I'm not 50 sSre about that what's
Il am a bank cashier
'shake! I'm a berry picker. Chicago
Tribune.
Have you never given any thought to
what posterity viii say about you?'
No. answered Senator Sorghum. 7
posterity can not mako as much trouble
as one ot your next door neighbors. -
Washington Star.
Algsrnon-. Congratulate, me. deah boy.
N engaged to Miss Peachley.
q position 10 support a husband.-ChicagO
Daily News.
Il might have known better than to
trust my money 10 that broker"
Why so? Are appearances against
No, oonfound him! It's his disappear
ance. Town and Country.
= want to do something that win draw
out the conversatio abilities OF my
friends" said the hostess.
That's very easy" answered Miss Cay
enne. Give a musicale. w ashington
Molly--Oh! There's COW! I'm so afraid
of cows!
Choily-It won't hahn you, Miss Molly,
as long as I am with you.
Adolly-I know that-but when it starts
after me you won't be with me!-Cleveland
Leader.
Il tell you what. grumbled the pessi-
they used to in the old days
That's right replied the funny waiter.
Think of Esau, who gave his birthright
ger.
Smart Pastor-Afy congregation is made
up mostly of fools.
Parishioner- That explains it.
Smart Pastor-Explains what2
Parishioner-our habit Of addressing
them as beloved brethren. cleveland
Leader.
We'll. you can keep canaries- and such
birds as them" replied the genial landlord,
but there's one bird barred from these
what bird is that?''
!, The stork, III Lqlis7iile Courier Journal
Mother-Tomrny. have you eaten all
your sweets without even thinking of your
Tommy-Oh, no, mamma I was think
ing about her the whole time. / was
afraid she'd come before / had finished
Mabel-Now, Mr.; Sporty, supposing you
were Paris, which Of us three would
Mr. s. (thinling he sees a brilliant way
out Of a ifficulty)-Well-yOu see-tneres
such a sameness about you ah.-Punch.
Most marriages. said the old bachelor.
remind me of jug handles.
What's the explanation" asked the
widow with the drug store complexion.
They are one-sided affairs answered
the man who had passed through leap
year observation-disclosures Enquirer.
Mrs. Mark Etting-what are your chick
New BoyNT don't dare tell you. ma'am.
The boss sez must only tell what we're
See my engagement ring said the girl
to her friend, in a small up-river town.
Yes" replied the one addressed.
Know where 1t came fromz' continued
the proud engaged one, as she held the
precious thing up in the sunlight.
well" replied the other with her nose
slightly elevated, Il know It must have
come from the city; there. are TO INSTALL
ment Jewelry stores IN this town! on
kers Statesman.
she-what yer goin' ter do wid de dore.
Lew-De teacher told me ter bring some
Steven, ne ainrt bug.
Lew--No, but. he's got ieas an I cans
ketch 'em--Judge.
yes. she married the poet because she
thought by so doing she would set inte
and .And she dta7"
she furnished the theme for some great
GsSIt, No. she 1s got into print dress. and ae
has never been able to get her anything
else Houston Post
81 see they've lost Roger williaIna'
tomb observed Uncle Allen Sparks
1t oughtn't to be hare TO find il It's
Tribune
PA, what's an Irish buii7"
a ridiculous statement that is general
iy invented by some humorist who sells ie
for $1.50. ''-Chlcago Record-Hera
CIadys-Yes, Dick is going to marry the
one with the auburn hair He says he's
got the pick of the family.
EsmereIda-Weli when he becomes bet
ter acquainted with her disposition he'u
find he's got the hammer and tDngs Of the
family, nkewise.-Chicago Tribune
80 your brothers come back. I ex-
pect your father win kill the fatted calf"
NO. dear, but he nearly killed the prod
igal on.'-Allly Sloper's Half-EoIiday.
Teacher-What is an engineer, Tommy
Tommy man that works an engine,
Teacher-That's right. Now, Johnny,
what is a pioneer2
After asking a blessing on various mem