The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-07-14

Washington Star: There Is a fat
man In this town who AYERS that there
isn't a tailor in Washington who knows.
enough or who is agreeable enough to
manufacture rousers longNenough at
the bottoms or high enough at the
waist line for a man weighing more
than 10S pounds.
This fat man, as may be inferred
from what is to follow, likes m long
at both ends. And, as he pays for his
trousers. it would really seem as if he
were entitled to entertain certain ideas
of his own as to how he wants 'em.
A couple of weeks g he walked in-
to a merchant tailor's place to order q
blue serge suit. He didn't say a word
While the tailor was measuring him for
the coat and vest. In fact, he merely
Indicated to the tailor, while that part
of the measuring was in progress, that
he didn't much care how the coat and
vest were cut, SO that they didn't look
hand-me-down when they were finish
ed.
But when the tailor began to meas
ure the fat man for the trousers, the
fat man motioned him away, and stood
off and made a little speech:
Now, look here. you tailor man." he
said to the ma with the tape meas
ure, II want you to regard me. I want
you to pay close attention to what 1 am
going to say to you for the next two or
three moments.
| Mister tailor man. I want these
trousers long. Long at the top and
long at the bottom. I demand that they
be made long. I insist pom 1t with all
Of the latent force.of my individuality
that this pair Of trousers for which you
are o to measure me shall be made
long-l-o-n-g, long.
y am bitter upon this topic, 30 that
you need take no offense at my words.
l am now a mar Of ~forty-six years Of.
age. n I solemnly declare unto you
that never yet, in the whole course OF
my life, have I ever been able to induce
a tailor to make my trousers long
enough tossutt me. They have promis-
of them tried to talk me out Of having
en- made long, and, not succeeding in
that, they made EN- as they wanted to
anyway, and I got no satisfaction.
Some Of the trousers that they made.
me seemed almost long enough until.
I had sat down in them for about an
hour or so. but after that they were
high-waters Of the first water, and
then I'd ave to send 'em back to be
let down, and the letting-down job
was generally botched, and I always
got the worst of 1t.
will you solemnly undertake 10.
make these trousers long enough for
me. and remember your solemn under
taking before you put scissors to them ?
Tell me that"
IA loAAOI ASIIldEhCut WIN a SnIuC.
h a nothing was more foolish, in his
estimation. than trousers too long at
the waist line and at the bottoms. But.
since the fat man had gone to such
pains to insist upon the point, why
Very well-Tll take you word for
1t, and see how I make out" said the
fat man, n he permitted himself to
be measured for the trousers, and
walked out.
On the following morning the tailor
received a postal card from the fat
man.
Remember" said the fat ma on the
postal card, your promise about max
ing 'em long"
Later on that day the tailor was call
ed to the telephone. The fat man was
at h other end Of the wire.
I'm only calling you up" said the
fat man through the telephone, ito
invite your attention to the fact that
l have your sacred word of honor. as
a merchant tailor and as a man. 10
make those trousers long enough for
me-"
During the next couple of DAYS a
number Of the fat mans friends, sub.
stantial-looking men, dropped in at the,
tailor's. Each had the same errand.
Il just dropped o at my friend
Jim's suggestion these friends Of the
influence I possess to induce you to.
make those trousers that he ordered
from you long enough. I'd like to have
you help Jim out as to that point.
Jim's a good fellow. and doesn't owe a
man in the world a dollar, and he's a
slayer and sticks to his friends, and we
all think a lot of him. And SO I'd like
to have you accede to Jim's request
that those trousers be made long
enough for him. Just wanted to keep
you in mind Of 1t. you know"
The blue serge suit was delivered to
the fat man three days ago. He wore
It around for q while that evening
The waist line Of the trousers sagged
below the tab Of his shirt, and, after
he had sat On his front steps for q
while and got up, the trousers were
about an inch and q half too short.
The fat man has given 1t up. He's
all in, he says. He has done his best.
and lie can do no more.
A Market Primer.
Baltimore American: What Is the
man doing behind the counter?
him.
What is the lady going up to the