The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1905-08-19

~ ".'gg uN'i'i 'ihN wv Nfi' Nl'''' Or
" 4 viii detain YOU hut "a fow minutes
longer. my friends Great opplousc> 30
81 heard a young Mississippi lawyer. q
uieinber OF the Legislature, remark 10 "a
hoped the iaw-mnling BODY would soon
adjourn. or else he would not have wouC"
enough Go pay his way home said Judge
quoted by blythe the washington Posi- t.H
young solon. a man " nuC ability ana
with excellent prospects, had such love
OF the great American game Of draw
poker that he thought more of it Tan he
did Of his public duties, and, night after
night lost around tn" grrru.-"N roo
BILE considerably larger sums than he
could afford When he made the an
nouncement about his financial condition
UP spoke q, gray,hearded old country
finances? Don't YOU git your per diem
per day, the same as the balance OF u.s.
Yes, my friend. J do indeed ar, draw W. my ~
per night.
Little Charlie was very fond of watch
| ing his mother dress. one day. when she
| was brushing her hair he exclaimed:
Mamma, why does your hair snap So
| Because there Is so much electricity IN
IT. she replied. Charlie sat looking AZ
| her for a few moments very thought
fully. and then he could contain himself
| no longer. when ne burst out with:
| What n queer family we must be-
| Grandma has gas in her stomach aud YOU
have electricity In your hair.
| A short time ago some men were en-
| gagged In putting up telegraph poles on
| some land belonging to an old farmer.
| who disliked seeing his wheat tramplcd
down. The men produced paper by
| which they said they were allowed to
| put the poles whore they pleased. Tho
| farmer went back and turned a large bun
| In the field. The savage beast made att
| er the men, ana the old farmer, seeing
them running from the neld, shouted at
the top OF mis- voice; show nm the
paper! Show him the paper'
| a young bride was recently invited 60 "A
| bridge luncheon, ana after spending de-
hghttul afternoon was told hy her nos
tess that she was In debt S75. Unaware
| that she had been playing for money, she
was Mortified at the idea Of having TO
amount. She mournfully couhdcd her
woes to him, and ne Immediately wrote
a check for SId.p. and sent II Co the hos
tess. The hostess, believing that a mis-
take had been made. Informed him that
he had sent 81 80 too much. However, he
returned IL with the curt statement that
the so settled the bridge score, and the
balance was for his wife's luncheon.
=
John O. Johnson. the distinguished
Philadelphia lawyer, Is a well-known con.
noisseur Of paintings. ANTIQUES, and
curios. A New York dealer brought re-
Gently 60 Philadelphia for Mr.. Johnson.s
| inspection a vase II WIS "A nhlltth Anl-
nese vase and the dealer hopcd that II
was very rare and ancient Mr.. Johnson
studied II IN silence. 1T is' sir said
ably old and good. don't you think. sir9'
Rubbing the lenses of his glasses witt
his handkerchief, Mr.. Johnson answered
gravely: The painting of the vase bears
every evidence Of being ancient, which 1,
all the more interesting from the fact
that the vase itself Is undeniaby mod
ern.
b r
} Gen. Frederick Grant tells how, at
certain military post in the West on.
night, Just after the sounding OF taps
n detail was called for from one Of tn
; companies to bring from the married
! quarters to the guardhouse private VIII
| geant Mulligan called for Corporal Need
| ham and Privates Clancy and Moore q
{ form the detail The corporal and Pri
vate Moore at once got up from the cot
. and dressed for duty. but apparently
' Clancy was fast asleep. although but
: sergeant he had been nPP @nimatedly con
, versing with his fellow soldiers. Com,
I cldhcy. said the sergeant poking hiI
Celt in great disgust arose. exclaimin
o as he did so: why don't We wake som
wan that amt asleep
A student once asked the French alien
= list Esquirol II there were any sure test
by which to tell the sane from the In
4 AT q O'Clock" was the answer OF tn
savant The student accepted the invita-
tion, and found two other guests present
J. apparently highly educated. while IN
e other was rather uncouth, noisy, and eN
!. rose TO take leave, and as he shook hand
e with his teacher he remarked; 'rh
: problem IL very simple after ALL tn
2 quiet well-dressed gentleman Is certain
r ly distinguished in some lines. but IN
other is as certainly a lunatlc. and ough
> at once to be locked up" You ar
wrong. my friend replied Esquirol, wit
/ a smile THAT quiet well-dressed ma
who talks 80 nationally has for years In
n bored under the delusion that he N Goo
the Father. whereas the other mar
d" whose cxuberance and self-conceit hav
n surprised you. Is NJ. Honore de Balza'
e the greatest French writer OF the day"
While had been naughty and his fatht
= WAS going 70 whip him ,,..
a my SON. he said sternly as, switch
hand. he confronted the lad. do 20
- know why ! am going TO whip your
o YES. dad replied the little fellow
8 ITS because you're biggor'n am"
y
u Congressman Morrell OF PHILADELPHIA
A said In the course OF an address To ma
: SAs colonel OF the Third regiment ,
9 Pennsylvania. ! once took part In an cd
and amusing episode
D. MY regiment was marching dow
Broad street In the van OF an immens
and magnificent parade when, near Wa
nut street. II became necessary to pus
/ the people back a llttles Inc ropes ma
|, broken AT this point and the peopl
y quite Internationally encroached on n
|, line Of the parade.
y Il assigned handful Of young pr
y Yates 10 help the people handle n
!, | crowd and one private. stationed mes
y / me | kept my eye on. He got eVerybod
\ back except n fat man. This person ii
- not move.
: Private, said l. put that fat ma
I. back,
- Is pushing So the private answered
Put your musket butt In his chest
said |. and force him back. You are n
-. | stronger
: Yes said the private. i know n
- the stronger, but he's the foreman Of OF
, shop
Mrs. Charlotte Perkins Gilman WI
Toned. unreasoning. blind admiration TN
- regarding him az the handsomest, bra
y est wlsest and most learned ~ men
;. Mrs Gladstone" she said "worshin,
- her husband In this way. but then N
70 had some reason. Even In her cas-
though. the good lady's exaggerated wi
worship would sometimes make her nj
& pear ridiculous
\ Thus she was staying once At u coui
try house. and on certain evening, ha
,r ing finished dressing before her hushan
~ she descended 10 the drawing room alOn
Ia the drawing room three or four ge
~ tlemen were discussing the misfortunes
ireland one Of them, as she cntere
le said