davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
Not a Success,


Zone day, down at the front, during
the war;" said the soldier, three or
four of us got into an argument regard
ing the effects of imagination. Iassert-
ed, and offered to bet that if man was
to be hit in the back with stone un-
der certain circumstances, he would
drop to the ground under the impress
sion that he had been struck by a bull
let. A wager of ten dollars a side was
put up, and the newt day our company
went out to take it's turn on the picket
line. There was a constant firing. and
every chance to test my theory. Six
of us on certain post finally got into
pretty sharp exchange of compliments
with the enemy, and l threw the
stone at private named Johnson"
"And he threw up his arms and went
DOWN. queried a listener.
well, no, he didn't. He should have
done so, and why he didn't could never
make out. No; he didn't throw uu
his arms and scream out and fall to
the EARTH
But what did he dog"
He whirled about as the stone hit
him, saw that 1 was the thrower, and
he laid down his musket and come foy
me. He was a big fellow, who couldn't
appreciate experiments and Jokes; and
he proceeded to give me the worst lick.
Ing l expect to get if live to be 1OC
years old. I was done up for week
lost my ten dollars. and was a butt OF
rilicule for the next six months.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
a STRANGER IN CAMP.
He Knew Just q Little More About
= the Civil War Than His
- Host Did.

It is best to be sure of the ground be-
1oer one goes too far. A mining expert
tells, in the New York Press, some
thing that happened to him when, in
the self-confldence of his youth, he was
prospecting near what is now Lead
V1lie back in the '70s. He had been
after load of supplies, and rode into
camp alone at noon one day. 1t was
no uncommon thing for stranger to
come to a camp and wait for the own
ers return, SO the prospector was not
surprised to see a man sitting at the
door of the rough hut or shelter.
Paying no particular attention to the
guest, l cast the lash rope from the
pack and called him to help rem oye
the load. He responded cheerfully, and
That done, told him to rustic little
wood and we'd have dinner. He quick
~ brought load of dead limbs, ana I
sent him for second lot. Then he
asked what further service he could
perform. Wishing to hdmor his desire
Tor work, told him he could fill the
camp kettles at the creek. After this
graciously gave him permission to sit
down while got dinner.
Among my various weaknesses at
that time was that of imp-rting unre-
strlcted Information to APPARENTLY I'M
instructed strangers. III habit came
from desire to escape from the tan
tal4-i.g distraction of a te-defoot
which 1 then enjoyed.
No sooner were we at the table,
which was board wedged between
Two trees, than l began I poured
forth a Niagara of information con-
corning mines and mining He proved
an excellent listener, and his appfcci-
alton encouraged and gratified me.
Finally, my information becoming
exhausted, had to resort to other
things. l happened to turn to the civil
war, and sailed along, manufacturing
history right and lett, and making a
free gift of it to the stranger. Pauslng
moment for breath, was startled by
my nearer modestly venturing a cor
rection as to portion of the mass of
detail had 80 generously given him.
began to reconnoiter. Had he been
in the army? Well, yes, he had.
Were you private or an oficer?"
"Well-an officer"
How did you rank?"
well, l suppose l ranked as a gen
eral at the close Of the war;
realized trouble vas ahead, and
! meekly inquired:
What may I call yodr name?"
| my name is Logan" he replied.
| For the first time l scrutinized his
face. There could be no mistake in tie
dark, swarthy features of the man, the
long hair, the high cheek bones. Sn:il
ing sickly smile, slowly rose
stretched my hand across the table
grasped his, and said:
Gen. Logan. I can only express my
regret at not having been able to fur.
uish' you with this information at an
: earlier date. It might have changed
your course of action during the war.
The general laughed heartily, but
best of all, although he remained In
the camp several days, he did not men
ton the affair in the presence of 9th
ers.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
A Breakdown

A little German girl. whose mother
had obtained divorce from her hus-
ba,'d' was telling one of her playmates
about the matter in her own peculiar
way
why, you know" she said, earnestly,
papa an mamma hat broken down
housekeeping. Judge.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
Learned a Lesson.

He-You don't seem to care a straw
whether am comfortable or not. You
are not as good a wife as your sister
was to her husband. AS long as he
lived she was perfectly devoted to him
and never tired of seeking his hap
piness
She-Yes; and what was the result!
He got to love her so we'll that he
made provision in. his will that she
should not marry again.-Cassell's.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
VACATION
DREAMS ~
CORDIl>G to their

CORD1l>G to their
annual custom, the
Widderpools are
discussing, with in
t e n s Q enjoyment,
the vacation ques-
ton. They began
it hre- months
ago. The Wilder
pools are the sort
of people who get a
good deal of pleas
ure out of anything,
but this business of
deciding on a place
to spend the one
month in the year
that is to be free of
all cares and re-
sponsibilities is a
perennial joy beside
which all OF h e r
pleasures fade into
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
NOT TRUSTED TO PRAY.
And That Is Why the Colonel Asked
Him Instead to Read the
Scriptures.

During the civil war there lived in
Readville, Me-, certain Col. Bachel-
dor, whose hospitable home was the
stopping place for all Methodist
preachers who came that way. The
colonel was too old to enter the serv-
ice but his loyalty was of the stanch-
est kind.
cause looked quite dark, Camp Meet
ing" John Allen came to stay all
night at Bachelors house. Camp
Meeting" John was, like the colonel,
a man whose heart was for the union.
Later in the day along came an
other Methodist preacher, whose poll
tics was Of decidedly "copperhead'
quality. He, too, was to be the
colonel's guest for the night
When the time came for retiring
Col. Bachelor brought out the Bible,
gave it to the last conner, and said:
'You will read, sir, and Brother AL
len will oher prayer" And this pro-
gramme was carried out satisfactorily.
The next. morning the colonel met
ex-Gov. Morrill, on the street, and,
hailing him, said: well, governor,
had couple of Methodist preach
ers at my house last night; one was
Camp Meeting John Allen, a mighty
good, loyal union man; and another,
Mr.. -, rank *copperhead.' But
when time came for family prayers at
night l asked him to read the Bible
and Mr.. Allen to offer prayer. l knew
he couldn't pervert the Scriptures, but
I wouldn't trust the devil to pray
Boston Herald.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
Too True.

What are you grinning at?'
snapped the girl on the beach in her
abbreviated bathing suit. 50
why, I'm laughing at that bathing
suit of yours replied the passer-by.
well, it takes very little to make
man.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
Drawing the Line.

II like to believe that all men are hon.
est" said the moralizer.
Same here" rejoined the demoraliz-
er; "still, 1 always draw the line at TAX
ing the same patent medicine for liver
complaint that I use for toothache, no
matter how the label reads "-Chicago
Daily News.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
He Had Tried and Tried.

Kindly Parson Cheer up, my man
cheer up! IL at 8hrst you don't sue
coed try, try again, you know.
Prisoner (savagely)-Well, I guess
you don't know what brought me here.
Kindly Parson-No; but the motto
applies just the same-try, try again.
Prisoner-Well, that's what done
an here be-fer bigamy.-Judge. -
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
:, He Remained.

"Ah," he said, rushing to where she
sat, "l'm awfully glad to see YOU"
isn't. it Splendid" she replied, NOV
ing over about a hairs breadth;
won't you sit DOWN. :'s' 'S'''
I'm afraid there isn't room enough
for two.''
"Oh well, if you're afraid and-that
sort of thing-perhaps-
But later they walked home to-
gether in the gloaming.--Chicago Rec
Ord-Herald.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27

was placed in service at the corner of
Union and Water streets, to protect the
shore. There the gun remained until
1888, when Union wharf was built,
when it was removed to the -Four
Corners" and placed. muzzle in the
ground.
About 1876, when the church at this
corner was remodeled into Phoenix
hall, to be used as business block, it
was removed and lett lying in the lot
at the foot of Washington street, near
the corner of Water Later it was
transferred to the residence of Wilson
Pope, a descendant of Capt. Nathaniel
Pope.
Capt. Alexander Winsor, a man OF
considerable public spirit, was instru-
mental in having it removed in 1888
to it's former location at Phoenix hall
corner, where it stands to-day as a rev.
dictionary reminder. In 1885 the Fair
haven Improvement association placed
upon the cannon brass tablet bearing
the following Inscription:
Taken from the British at Nassau, In
H7, by colonial ship of war Alfred. Placed
at Fort Phoenix in ITS. Recaptured by the
British and left on the fort spiked and with
trunnions knocked off. Afterward mounted
on Union street for village defense. Placed
in Ats present position in 1881
1t was on the ship Alfred that Jones
unfurled the American flag the first
lime it was thrown to the breeze.
Soon after this Jones took command
of the Providence, mounting IL four
Founders, with complement of 70
men. He then became a frequent Wis
ltor to Dartmouth harbor, now Fair
haven harbor, and Dartmouth men
we've often secured for his crew. Among
the men thus recruited was Henry Per
kins, who secured some fame through
his connection with the Boston tea
party. He was engaged, under Paul
Jones. in many Of his fiercest fights
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27

Diggsby-I don't see how you can
afford to loaf so much of the time.
Higgins-1 can afford it because l
only get Is cents day when I work.
Diggsby-But that is just the rea.
son why you should get in more days
Higgins-Oh, I don't know. When
l don't work I don't lose much. See!
Chicago Daily News.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
Surely Was.

us she pretty?" they asked of the
young man who was speaking of his
fiancee.
'Well, don't want to boast" he re-
piled, "but she always gets a seat
in a crowded tramcar."-Tit-Bits.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
Had Ponde~sd It Often

Fair Passenge inspecting the ma
chiney)-Have you ever thought what
you would do if the boiler should ex-
plode?
Engineer-Yes, ma'am I've thought
about it lots of times. I'd get badly
scalded.-:Chicago Tribune.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
Profitable Pupils.

Friend-I should think having such
dull pupils to teach would drive you
wild.
Music Professor-I like dull pupils.
De parents neffer dink does tear chill
dren hat no music in dem. Dey plane
de biano, und den cells dem new vons
IN. Y. Weekly.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
First Great Depression.

what, may I ask, was the keenest
disappointment of your career?" asked
the anxious interviewer.
The great f1nancier stared coldly at
the Ink bottle. ut was when I was
four years old, think" he drawled,
when l woke up one morning and
found my red balloon shrunken to one.
fourth the size of the day before. DO
trOit Free Press.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
BRIGHT Bow.

"How is your son getting on in his
new position?"
"Splendidly,' answered the fond
mother HE has only been there two
weeks, but he knows exactly who
ought to be discharged and is merely
waiting to get promoted, so that he
can attend to t''-Washington Star.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
Change.

1.-THE dime novels that we read in our
youth have gone out of existence" said
the man with iron-gray hair.
YES" answered the man with the
bald spot; IF you want that kind of
reading now you've got to go to regu-
lar book store and pay dollar and q
half for .''-Washington Star.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
Not Well Dona.

II declared" exclaimed the ex-
asperated customer. Nothing is ever
we'll done in this restaurant"
mot even the tipping!" replied the
disgruntled waiter.-Yonkers States
man.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
Example.

Lines of auto fiends remind us
We can make our lives sublime
By the smells we leave behind us
Fogs upon the shores of time.
Life.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
His Mistake.

Cholly-I ovahheard you remark,
Miss Pepprey, that Gus Sappy and
were gweat chums, but assuah you you
were mistaken
Miss Pepprey-Oh, no, it was you
who was mistaken. / said "great
chumps. "-Philadelphia Press.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
Scant.

what do you think of my new shirt
waist?" :
ut looks to me like another cotton
scandal. "-TOWn Topics. p
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
Cause for Thanks.

Cause for Thanks. -
Mrs. Bacon-Who was that man you
were bowling and scraping so to at the
gate, just now? =; -
Mr.. Bacon-Oh, that's the installment
man.. He's just been taking the piano
away from next door. and was thank
ing him.-Yonkers Statesman.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
Modern Thanatopsis.

To him who in the love of grating
Holds communion with her visible forms.
She speaks various language. For his
Gayer hours she has a voice Of gladness.
And she glides into his darker musings
With mild and spot cash sympathy thar
steals away their sharpness,
Ere he is aware a..
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
The Benefit Of Contrast.

The Benefit Of Contrast.
do you think that industry is essen
tial to happiness?"
"A little is" answered the easy going
person. IF man had never done any
work he would never realize how much
comfort there is in having none to do. "
Washington Star.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
Egotisn.

She-I wouldn't marry the best man
In the world
He-Pardon me, but your remark was
entirely uncalled for.
She-Why, pray?
He-Because I never asked you to
marry me.-Chicago Daily News.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
Peruvian Bark

THAT old dog OF yours seems to be
quite toothless." -: .s.s> 80 a@-
Yes Calisaya's getting pretty old.
but he's$a good watchdog YETI
"Calisaya? Why do you call him
that?" ~%%554 - a~'@s = @'zs,'s 49, 80
"Well, because his bark is the best
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27

$50 you've been and got married
since I've been away, Sally? That's
nice way to treat your old sweet
heart!"
Eyes. Jim says as 'ow he owes yer
q grudge for going"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
Whatp

why don't people go to the theater
IN summer timer"
Because there is lots more to be seen
at the sea shore. Houston Post.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
Such a PITY.

The new Russian house of representa-
tives will be called the "Gosudarstven-
MIA Douma."
1t seems pity to give it a bad name
at the very start-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
Average Good.

Man wants but little here below
The poet may be right
Woman makes up the average, though
Wants everything in sight.
cleveland Leader.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
Coming Down.

GAS autumn approaches bathing suits
are coming down."
."And they ought to! A bathing suit
that ends above the knees IS scandal
us."-HOustOn Post Is E.. zs
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
High Finance.

Jaspar-Why is certain kind OF
financiering called high finance? @~
Jumpuppe Probably because It Il
above the law.-Town Topics. n
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
Their FaVorites.

She-I am so fond VI trees! TIE oak
is my favorite, it is 60 strong, so noble!
Which do you like the best?
He (promptly)-vew.-Judge.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
Never Done Talking,

She-Don't you consider it woman's
work to talk? 81. -:
He-Certainly; but the trouble il
woman's work is never done.-Yon-
kers Statesman.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
Adjustable Engagement Ring.

Inventor-I want to patent this i'm
proved engagement ring.
Patent Agent 49, Anything new
about it?
Inventories, it's adjustable
Town Topics.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27

The gold fields Of Western Australia
are the largest in the world, covering
ss they do $4,000 square milsa
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
Looked That WAY

She-Can't you trust me, dear?
He-I would trust you with my life,
darling!
"Oh, then, you're not insured?"--
Yonkers Statesman.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27

Binks-What would you call him?
Miss Jinks-How would Fever-and-
Ague' do? He's half hot and half shiv-
ers.-Chicago Daily News.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
Spoiline Che Make-u;

'.Did Maud and Clara kiss and
make-up?"s
"They kissed and spoiled their.
makeup" Town Topics.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1905-10-27
Can BE TRUSTED.

= May-Is he q man you can trust?
Bess Oh, yea. Papa says he owes.
syerYbody.-Judos.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1905-02-02
PAss PRlMARY nLEcrloN slLL.

The abuses Il the old convention
systcm OF political parties has led to
a general desire for a change To
meet this demand a primary election
law seems 20 cover most OF tho defects
Of the OLD system by sizing tue nee
ple q chahce to speak directly to the
point. instead Of through a representa-
tive.
AS each party convention comes on
the charges Of ring rule. "a slate, -
doodle" underground wires. "bunt
candi lates. and such like tpithets
lass thick and fast and. II they are not
always true. they are always charged
and unfortunately are t;ue IN sufi-
cient numGer Of cases TO make the
people distrustful
While under the primary election
law each man at leas- has no one to
hlame save himself IN case there is
any error made. Thon, too. It is much
more lin'eblt fos s,hcmng politicians
10 "fN thi'rs" With all ,hc resp.a ihan
with convention.
The passage by this legislature of a
primary election law wonl be one Of
the best monuments u couli leave Of
its own fc~eeightcjness and would az
ace put Oklahoma poii'ies on
higher plane Of purl'y.
The present pendinf bill is good an !
should receive the closest attention
and su~ of III" assembV. If there
are ~ objections they can be
leacheI amendment
Pass a first class prin AIRY election
law and pass it early in tie session,
30 that it may not get into the mixiip
toward the close.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1905-02-02

by tha Associated Press corrs poa
eGs
81 fcei quite c-n6tent that Oklahoma
and Indian terr!.ory viii be admitted
TO statehood al THE session of con
eress I an not so certain as the fate
Of some Of the ameadnen;s.'
Delegate Rodey of New Mexico. is
hopeful and happy Nhie arizona a.
elatel at the prospect of escaping tho
fate Of the piokanuny. who un5erto'',
70 practice dentistry on the crocodile
IN searching for hopeful signs the
fact that senators arc nc 50 anxious
to make speeches as s3rme.iy vould
occur as among them.
We may lie very near tlc time ,f
constitution. mating aad It WI be n
good idea TO- the people tc hoein to-
hink Of what shall be some OF tho
fundamental provisions !n our new
constitution.
It is woll howeSer. not TO be court
ing checkers before they hatch ioi
there is vet a iortuous course befote
the bill. ~ amended by nc senate. as
# mnst hen go back to tho house
where if the house does not cIlour in
The scnate amendments. it mrst tfen
Og to The cnnferento committee whose
report must be accepted Ivy both
aouses.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1905-02-02
Scientific Turkey RaIsInr.

Only recently has science turued iiS
attention to the Thanksgiving binl.
but already it has accomplished some
wonderful things in the culture aud i'm.
provement of that admiral fowl which
IL the opinion Of many has a bettcr
Claim than the bald-headed eagle H.
fisGU as the national emblem.
On FISHERS Island opposite New
1<ndon, ana not FAR distant. is tue
greatest ard most successful turkey
farm in the world. The islands. one
night say. Is an artificial wilderness
OF 1000 acres. scientifically managed
over this area thousands OF the birds
toam in a condition so close to that
of nature that though domest.ostcd
variety they are practically wl'ds M
shelters OF any kind are provided for
them; the hen turkeys build their
nests in the open. and. while plenty ~
corn is supplied. Il Is scattered abous
IN all sorts of places and even buriel
under leaves in order that the fowls
l1ay be obliged to hustle for their pro
lender.
These turkeys attain gigantic size.
sometimes Weighing nearly nifty
pounds. In the market at Thanksgiv.
iag time they reach ten cents pound
more than the ordinary turkeys owing
10 their remarkably delicious flavor
They are so hardy that nothing
short Of a hatchet will kill them. In
winter they rooat out on fence rails
and tree branches. and. though often
their heads are actually frozen under
their wings. their health does not sur
fer in the least. The delicacy Of con-
slitution which afflicts turkeys else.
where. making them hard to rear.
does not bother the birds OF Fishers
island Not long ago thirty Of them
were bought by the state authorltiec
of Rhode island for the purpose Of in
roculating them with the fearfully de-
structive and contagious disease
lnown as "black head. by was OF ex.
tperlment. but none Of them could be
infuced % take the malady.-Beston
Herald