Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1905-03-10
THE LADY BURGLAR.

w dSkltllElOn GtdT. 4 Ht iIuy SiNt
toyed refiectively with her bunch OF
Roman gold skeleton keys. They were
held together by n narrow cerise ribbon.
liz was at an early hour in the after
noon. and the lady burglar had just
risen. Her maid had brought her a
tiny cup OF coffe-the cup was of the
most rare Sevres-and a caviare sand
wich: a bizarre breakfast, truly: but.
then, nearly all lady burglars are BIZ
zarre.
II fear / am ennuye this morning
afternoon, Is it?r said the lady burglar,
yawning, as the interviewer entered
her boudoir. One grow 40 weary OF
Ii all, Toes one aot? And yet we wom-
en- OF today are never satisfied until
we have entered professional life. Oh,
yes, ones profession has its compensa-
lions, but. mung doc. the awful mon
otony of IL! >he perpetual striving af-
ter perfection, ale constant effort to
elevate ones self to the topmost PIN
nacle! Oh. il is dreary, Fiine, my
salts.
The nature OF my compensations ?
oh. truly. they exist, / shall illustrate.
Last night-rather, this morning.
was ransacking the jewel case OF a
woman who won for a husband a man
for whom / cared when | was but a
child-ah, yes, but a child. And, by the
way, some of the jewels are vrey pref
ty. | shall have Fiine bring them di-
rectly. Well. do you know, / have all
ways been perfectly certain in my own
mind that that woman made up afro
ciously. i confess she has always been
skillful at IL, but, none the less | felt
very confident that she was dread
fully made up. Well, after / had de-
posted all OF her jewels safely in my
new carry-all skirt-my own inventions;
! wore II for the first time last night,
and Ii Is q dream of comfort and handi-
ness--l couldn't resist the temptation
to flash my. dark lantern in her face.
Her husband is out of the city, you
know. and she Is quite alone. Well.
she was a sight. Haggard! Listen,
/ make my prisons that / shall never
grow so haggard. And, saccrey bloo.
such crowfeet! Trenches, posi-
lively trenches! And her hair-that
she has always claimed TO be naturally
wavy-why, IL was lone up in kids,
She awoke with a start when / flashed
my lantern in her face, but-pouf!--I
was gone. Now. was not that a COM
pensation-the unexpected proving of
other days-ah. sad, and yet ever beau
tiful other days! Fffine, my handker-
chief"
The lady burglar Iavished some tears
upon her Mexican terrier and pro
ceeded:
But there is so much to fatigue one,
too, in my profession. Now, / had al
believed journalists &c be, more or
less, fabricators-ah. pardoni-speak-
ing generally, you know. But l know
know hat they are not. Journalists
have always engaged in persinage with
reference TO the habit-that married
mems wives have of going through
their pockets, their pockets.
Listen That is truei The journalists
are not fa~bricators. Alas for my SEX
But the married women do go through
their husbands pockets. / bave seen
them do it with these eyes. No later
than last week | was about to enter.
toward midnight, the apartment OF a
very wealthy capitalist living in the
northwest section of your most beauti-
full city. One of my agents-ah, ooey,
| have observing agents!-had in
formed me that this capitalist always
carried a large bundle of bills in his
pocket, and l wen after IL.
you believe 1t, just as l reached
the portieres hanging between the
dressing room and the bed room the
light suddenly went up a very little.
very little, and | lodged softly into the
sheltering shadow of the ~portieres,
whence | could observe the entire bed
room.
"Oh, it was too i~rratating. The gem
tlenlan was peacefully slGmbering, but
his wife-such unspeakable wicked
ness! had risen stealthily. and was in
the very act of going through his trou-
sers pockets, / could have shaken her!
Such observation-disclosures And after the
work / had accomplished in
gaining entrance to the residencei 1t
was shocking. L was compelled to
watch her remove q large, yellow roll
from his right-hand trousers pocket.
and she deliberately removed the rub
Der band from the bundle and counted
bills. Did you ever hear OF such
awfulness? And such a shocking
pon my nerves, too!
But these are the drawbacks to
profession. OF course, / got the
bundle. She placed 1t In the bottom
bureau drawer, r out the light
and quietly crawled back to bed. Then
] waited for a while and got the roll.
But such an monn OF unnecessary
Fffine, you may me
a little lilac bath this morning.
And then. the impudence of some
of those whom we visit! The humili-
they cause one, | shall narrate
an example. i spent the month of
August
the Casino balls one night, / observed
q Philadelphia matron whose jewels
were really divine. Well, / found them
lying upon her dressing room table a
few hours later, after she had retired.
When l examined them in the morn
ing-I blush to confess it-they were
phony, And the horrid woman an
nounced in the papers hat she always
kept phony jewelry on her dressing
at night to befool maraudersi
On, sad, sad!n
Then Fffne announced that the lilac
bath was waiting, and the interviewer