The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-04-21
HUNoR oF THE pAY.

HUMoR OF THE DAY.
In the south they burn the cotton. bless
In the west sa. they're burning wheat. and
In the rest q our r-i fair land they're burn-
But is not because the burners have
Louisville courier-Journal-
He-what would you do If should at
she-I would can for help. --.,.
Record.
She-So you loved me for six months be-
fore you dared to tell me?
He-Xes Your dad was mixed up in
on the wrong side of the market.-Judge.
A1ike-sure. me rich Uncle Terry died
and left me all his money.
MiEs4oI did not; S after sI' his death they
found he was a pauper, an OF didn't get
a cint av his fortune!-Puck.
clarissa-of course. I love you. Clar-
with your
Clarence don't see any proof in that.
knew how you dance.-Chicago Daily
IT this municipal ownership idea goes
through said one ward politician, there
won't be any use of being an alderman
szered the other. May Be We can get
more out of the railroad than we can by
handling franchises. ashington Star.
neutrality-suspicious. you read Robert
Herrick,s new novel. The Common Lott"
Philadelphian- Chicago people.
New Yorker-Good title, eh?-Puck.
Her Little brotherhood evening, Mr..
Her Accepted suitor-My name isn't
Jones, my lad-Im Mr.. Smith.
H 1. BY g1lrnl / never can get I.all-
ra's beaus Strengthened out Jones comes
Wednesdays, guess.-Cleveland Leader.
The beautiful American heiress who
married the dashing duke had returned
HAS that scoundrel deserted my little
g1rl?" roaFed the enraged father.
Papa she exclaimed Indignantly 7
the duke. He has not deserted me; I am
only out of money. Judge.
A friend of the late James Mcneil
W histier saw him on the street in London
little newsboy. AS he approached to spsak
to the artist he noticed that the boy was
as dirty. specimen of the London
| 'NeWsy' as he had ever encountered-he
seemed as smeared all over-literally COW
cred with dirt.
and the boy answered;
Yes, sir, I've been selling papers three
How old are you?' inquired whistler.
Seven, sir
...oh, you Fnust be more than that"
Then turning to his friend. who had
/ overheard the conversation, Whistler said:
7 don't think he could get that dirty in
seven years, do ycu?''-Harper's Weekly.
DR.. GLADDEN. is becoming hystericaI Mr.
HOGkGTetiGT .11a
| says: THE pirate or train robber may
bring his booty to the treasury OF the
received, and If sufficiently large will be
described as a magnificent gift"
Even a representative conscience ought
to be able to distinguish between Grim
1nal occupation and a legitimate occupa-
elon ne Inethoo OF IolIoWlng whlcn IS dis
nifty Philadelphia Record.
Wanted: Printers for country: must be
able to make up, set ads. do job work, run
cylinder and platen presses, do binding
and editorial work; must be good vocalist
and nusician; permanent position; g per
week. Apply F. c. Birdsall, No 401 Opera
House block.-Council Bluffs Nonpareil.
Ma-wilne, what's your little brother
crying about?
WiIIie-Jist cause he don't want to learn
anything. Jist took his candy and =
showed him how to eat it-Phi1adelphia
Ledger.
The lawyers of Russia propose to edu-
country educate the people financially, at
least with regard to the financial aspects
of tigation.-Pittsburg Dispatch.
A mixture Of fresh air and sunshine. ia
ken any time before or after meals. Is the
best preventive against the meningitis
germ.-Chicago News.
Mrs. katterbrane-Charles, feel as
though I had left something in the car
and can't for the life Of me think what
Mr., skatterbrane-By George, have it.
It's babyi
Mrs. skatterbrane-Good gracious. SO it
is! And the brakeman was so particular
to say: Don't leave articles in the train"
Boston Transcript.
stranger-say. IS it always as smoky as
citizen (stifflyJ-sir there is no smoke
at all here. What you see is fog.
Stranger-Excuse mel didn't know when
addressed you that you were the smoke
| inspector--Cleveland Leader
Did you go to the Mothers congress?'
No. answered the other. THE last
| time I attended a mothers congress the
s5d rev 'eoA ,1l,I tt 81 toe @ tre
weeks to restore family discipline -
Washington Star.
MiIlzman-I've called to see why you
haven't paid the bill you owe for milk
Customer-Turn about's fair play. Chalk
that up for awhile.-Philadelpni Ledger.
DOcIOr-ReFhapS It's your COOKING CnatS
responsible for your husbands illness. He -
got a bad case of eastritis.
Mrs. Newwife-Gastritis2 But 7 always
cook a coal range; never use gas
Philadelphia Press.
A lovely widow is seldom lone widow.
The modern siren IS the lady on the dol
lar
Many woman has washed away her
matrimonial prospects with salt tears
Strange. but many a wingless angel has
been eataIogued with the fly
Cold cash makes towards Of US all
The first lie ever told in the world is
circula ting yet.
A self-made man usually has a home
Opportunity is a gum shoe artist.