Perth Amboy evening news., 1905-12-20
FEMININE WOMAN

as if he'd know the difference between
the higher and nobler and a load of
steam coal-''I notice that the back
advertising ends of some of the maya
zines publish a testimonial as to the
merits of a certain brand of unscent-
ed toilet soap, written by one of the
s~hort-haired ladies who has been do
ing her little bit during the past half
century or SC toward obtaining the
franchise for women.
THE picture of the woman who
likes the unscented soap is run with
the ad, and her testimonial is surely
g heap fulsome and gushy for a pure
~ voluntary contribution.
"In the course of her remarks in
the testimonial she says this: L alb
hor a perfumed woman.
I'm going to take, with your kind
permission, a short-arm biff at that
remark of hers about the perfumed
woman.
I'm a regular bug over a well-per-
fumed woman.
ITO me a perfumed woman is the
real thing in f%emininity.
THE daintily perfumed woman, who,
when she swishes past you, has some
thing about her that makes you vague-
~ recall the old honeysuckle-covered
porch that you knew a quarter of a
century ago-she's the one for mine.
She carries with her the suggestion of
as~phodelian meadows and starlit dells,
the cool aroma of ~cornfields at dusk.
"She swirls by you and leaves in
your heart a little Ginning back to the
wild roses that you picked on your
way to the old crick where you went
in swimmin'.
when the daintily perfumed wo-
man frou-frous in or out of your Office
you sort o. film back to those old
mornings of your kidhood when the
just-awakened dawn smelt SO sweet
after you'd turned out early to chop
the kindling wood for the kitchen fire.
She's feminine, the well-perfumed
woman; that's all.
Il want 'em feminine all the way
through for mine.
Like 'em to wear unsanitary clothes
and things. | never gave two looks at
a woman wearing these so-called COM
nonsense clothes and shoes and such
gear, and l never met any other man
that did. | want EN- to wear just as
high heels as ever they blame please
to wear, and the tighter and straighter-
front their corsets, why, the better 1t
suits me. The stayless woman looks
like a combination of an Ellis Island
immigrant and a fat lady out of a
Rubens picture to me, and the woman
with 1at-heeled shoes of the so-called
common-sense kind looks to me as if
she ought to be a policeman, or carry
ing the hod, or something like that
Me for the womanny m
Gimme a Tyre, or a harp, or a flu
gelhorn, or a kazoo, or any old thing,
that may sing the glories and the
praises of the purely feminine woman!
"She was here in the worlds early
dawn, and she's going to be right here
alongside of us, | hope, when we're
having $1.39 r%ound-trip excursions to
Mars!
II never could see the who
wears mems hob-nailed shoes, and sus-
penders, and such like, and who flags
scented soaps and perfumes and things
of that kind because she considers 'em
too womanish.
"All of the adorableness of women
consists in their femininity.
TITS because every once In a while
she gets her household work done
early so she can go upstairs and have
a good cry it's because she macerates
us into pulp with her because it's be-
cause she admits our premises and de-
MES our conclusions; it's because she'll
pucker her lips for baby talk when she
sees an infant a block away; it's be-
cause she loves roses, and lacey things,
and two dollars-a-pound candy; It's be-
cause she gives us the r~eproachful eye
only when we ought to be sewed up IN
a blanket and dubbed to the verge oil
the other world; it's because she'll dig
and delve and scrape and scrap for her
0uSDAIQ anu utI ilttlC OhSo NitAA ~
staiactites hang from the roof of Tar
tarus; it's because she dabs at her eyes
with a little wad of a handkerchief I'M
til her nose is red when she sees hui
man suffering-it's just because shes
feminine, pal, and a hull, big heap bet
ter from every point of view than we
are lust because she is feminine, that
she has us on the dead lope, and plum
loco over her, ever since the days OF
the shepherd king of Egypt!
of they want to perfume themselves,
let 'em. |, for one, like 'em perfumed.
Let 'em do any of the old feminine
things that they want to do. They're
pretty nigh always right, taking EN- EN-
masse, and they don't make half as
MANY mistakes as we men do. :
"Give me a Lutte, that ! may chant OF
the physical, mental, moral and spirit
ual loveliness of the perfumed, who Is
the typically feminine woman! Here's
hopin' that she'll be with us till the
end of the world, and afterward!
That's me!"-Washington Star.