Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-10-26

plant, and demanding that the fog
be cleared off, SO an American citizen
could go about town and blow in his
money, but | told him he could be ar
rested for treason. He come mighty
near being arrested on the cars from
Liverpool to London.
when we got off the steamer and
tried to find the widow who robbed
dad of his roll of money, but never
found her, we were about the last pas
sengers to reach the train, and when
we got ready to get on we found these
English cars that open IN the sides,
and they put you into a box stall with
some other live stock, and lock you
in, and once in awhile a guard opens
the door to see if you are dead from
s~uffocation, or have been murdered by
the other passengers. Dad kicked Oh
going in one of the kennels the first
thing, and said he wanted a parlor
car; but the guard took dad and gave
him a shove, and tossed me in on top
Of dad. and two other passengers and
a oma in the compartment snick-
cred, and dad wanted to fight all of
EN- except the woman.
when the door closed dad told the
guard he would walk on his neck when
the door opened, and that he was not
an entry in a dog show, and he want
ed a kennel all to himself, and asked
for dog biscuit. Gee, but that guard
was mad, and he gave dad a look that
started the train going. l whispered
to dad to get out his revolver. because
the other passengers looked like hold
up men, and he took his revolver out
of his satchel and put it in his pistol
pocket, and looked fierce, and the
woman began to act faint, while the
passengers seemed to be preparing to
jump on dad if he got violent. WheI
the train stopped at the first station
/ got out and told the guard that the
old gentleman in there was from
Helena, Mont, and that he had a
reputation from st. Paul to Portland,
and then l held up both hands the
way train robbers make passengers
hold up their hands.
When / went back in the car GAG
was talking to the oma about her
resembling a woman he used to know
in the states, and he was just going
to ask her how long she had been so
beautiful, when the guard came to the
o;Ia Ionr onl ao11ol thn ro,,z. z.H
into another stall, and then one of the
passengers pulled out a pair of hand.
cuffs and told dad he might as well
surrender, because he was a Scotland
Yard detective and had spotted dad as
an American embezzler, and if he drew
that gun he had in his pocket there
would be a dead Yankee in about four
minutes. Well, | thought dad had
nerve before, but he beat the band
right there. He unbuttoned his over
coat and put his finger on a grand
army button in his buttonhole, and
said:
Gentlemen, | am an American citi-
zen, visiting the crowned heads of the
old world, with credentials from the
president of the United States. and
day after tomorrow | have a date to
meet your king, on official business
that means much to the future peace
of our respective countries. Lay a
hand on me and you hang from the
yard arm Of an American battleship.
well, sir, l have seen a good many
bluffs in my time, but | never saw the
equal of that, for the detective turned
white, and ~apologized, and asked dad
and l out to luncheon at the next sta
ton. and we went and ate all there
was. and when the time was up the
detective disappeared and dad had to
pay for tn5 luncheon, but he kicked all
the way to London, and the guard
would not listen to his complaints, but
told him If he tried to hold up tie
train he would be thrown out the win
dow and run over by the train. We
had the compartment to ourselves the
rest of the way to London, except
about In hour, when the guard showed
IN a farmer who smelled like COWS.
and dad tried to get In a quarrel with
him. about English roast beef coming
from America, but the man didn't have
his arguing clothes on. 30 dad began