The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-17
ARIZONA KICKLETs.
Some Information for the Agricultural
Department.

There are certain things connected
with our private and public life that we
do not care to refer to unless in a sta
tistical way. Not that they are in any
manner degrading or disgraceful, but
that they are cause for regret. 1t seems
that in asking this country for certain
agricultural statistics Germany has
sought information as to The Kicker s
private editorial graveyard. 1t is the
only one in the world, and there is
much curiosity concerning it abroad
The agricultural department at WASH
ington has communicated with US, and
we have compiled and forwarded the
list below. 1t is invaluable as a crop
report, and yet it is with reluctance
that we publish it:
No. This is the grave of our first
man. We were a young and gulleless
tenderfoot and he robbed US of $50. we
applied to the law for justice and were
told to borrow a gun and get 1t for our
self. We got the gun, but did not Shoot
back until the man had fired twice at
us. His name was Kansas Jack, and
the trailing arbutus has trailed over
his last resting place for 13 years. we
would that it could have been different,
but we had to have our $50 back or
bust.
No. 2-This is the grave of Bill
Wheaton We had issued four numbers
of The Kicker when he entered the Of
fee one day and announced that ms
mission on earth was the killing OF ed1-
tors. our arguments to convince him
to the contrary had no effect, and when
he began to shoot we had to follow
suit He died forgiving US.
No 3-This headstone was reared IN
memory of Missouri Tom who took ex-
ception to the color of our hair and
opened fire on us on the street. We
should have preferred to discuss the
matter with him, but he was rushed Tor
time. He died with his boots on.
No. 4-Beneath this stone reposes the
dust of William Finch. He was the
proprietor of a drug store, and we call
ed to convince him that advertising
and shot a button off our coat tails to
expedite our going. We felt obliged to
remove him to a happier CLINE.
No. 5-The man lying here went I'M
der the name of Joking Jerry. He at
tempted to joke with us one day by
shooting the heels of our boots from
under US, and not understanding ms
frolicking nature we turned and laid
him low. We have always regretted
our action In this sad life there can
not be too many jokers, and had Jerry
lived on he would have made life bright
er for all.
No. 6-Utah Joe, as this individual
called himself, sent us postal card
saying that he would arrive at the Gulch
on a certain date and send us to that
land where daily and weekly papers are
not. When he appeared there was no
time to ask for his reasons. He wounded
US in the arm, and we buried him at our
expense
No. Here rests Major Billings He
was a good man, but had short-sight-
ed policy. For instance, he argued with
himself that if he could get us out of
the way he was sure of being elected
mayor of the Gulch. 1t never seemed
to occur to him that we might object
to being removed. We did, however,
and owing to the fact that the major
was slow on the draw he was gathered
to his fathers.
No. 8.-This is generally spoken of as
the cedar tree grave. Beneath its sod
rests Rocky Mountain Charley One
day, after going through our graveyard
and viewing the graves of the seven