The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1905-09-14

counter cigars az Christmas time. and
tell her quietly that here's h chance
or her lifetime TO get her husband a
set OF hnc shirt studs cheap aud help
out a deserving crippl. st the same
time. She generally bites. and once
she has opened her pocketbook To hand
one nifty for something that cost me
- cents. i don't dare to stop my game
for fear of driving the woman u OF
the store IN a hun before she had
bought what she came for. II don't
do to interrupt n woman N h
thinks she has a bargain on the run.
Its soft money TO ofer shoestrings
and other things easy TO carry In your
pockets IN the brokers. They toss q
bill at you and never take anything
and you intended h . they
should. Hut the presentation watch
game In my favorite when I feel like
enjoying myself right.
/. The -Pheny- Watch Game.
"t buy q watch that looks like u was In
q gold case for three seventy-nve. and
take IL around TO an e~ngravcr I know. and
he puts In the inside Of the front ne: Pre-
scented 10 John Jones by James Smith. I'm
grateful acknowledgment OF his Gaiantry
In saving my daughter a. the loss OF his
lee. IN a runaway. June II. 1904 Then i
tidy up q bit-put on q collar. s~nyway-and
WUru WV pa ~ N.uoIr u NlosTu y ~ ny -
saloon ia q good quarter OF the town.
Never try the game until the pa wnshops
are closed: some wise guy might trip you
up by asking why you didn't 20 to a pa VIII
shop.
We'll. when you spy out . group Of
drinks nj q table you act az n you we've
haif-daxed with liquor and tumble In
your pockets for money for the drink you
ordered. and discover you haven't a red.
and declare you've been touched OF your
wad. m then suddenly discover that
you've still got your watch. and pull that
out. and lurch over to the nush-iookers
and show 4, TO them-with the front I'D
open. Of course.
you humble something about being
broke -touched-and you o like to
do Il. hut you need the money: and It's
a - shame 20 treat the man so mean
who gave II TO you, but-and the nrst
thing you know some one bites and asks
how much do you want for the watch
You see. he sees a chancs TO set a good
thing for q song-he's a CRATER. and IL
serves him right to touch him for a
t~wenty-spot for a three sevcnty-nvs
watch.
''Rut 70 you think there's no man In the
crowd who'll bit. so hard. you ask for a
loan Of ten dollars. the watch TO be left
with the barkecper tnl next day. when
your redeem IL. and the barkeeper can
hand back the money. and all the time
you're swearing you'd never part with
the watch for keeps. Hut 1 don't like To
work the game that way unless I'm right
up against II. That's TOO much lke doing
q man dirt who befrlrnSs you TL.- other
way you're simply doing up a CRATER
who thinks he Is doing you up brown.
Appeal Of an Empty Sleeve.
some days when I want TO have the
feeling OF a millionaire at the end OF n
day I stick my right hand into the top
OF my trousers: a friend straps my arm
tight against my Dody and no out Into
the world minus an arm as well a. a leg.
An empty sleeve appeals when n wooden
leg won't: and ~ it's your right arm
that's gone-that's ~everybody's best arm.
you know-the more you1i feel like a
millionaire after a few hours on the
STREETS. I M n hobo wha had his left
arm strapped In when he wss green ut
the game. and until some one took pity.
on him and put him or he didn't make
to pay for the pain. But when he
strapped I'm his right arm me was setting
'em all round right away
often l don't feel like doing much OF
anything. so I tax up my stand on the
street well on I'm the evening. and when
a man comes along l say TO him. politely:
Mister. can you tell me where i an
get a scent bed f,
streets. 1 know n hobo who had his left
bod. and I've never got so low ms to sleep
In a Decent bed. but the man takes II
from my words hat I'm no bcggar and h.
dmircs my grit. and nine times out OF
ten he viii toss ms a quarter and say.
'That'll nx you up
one evening not long ago I made 81
thls way. but ~ I'D done straight begging
ia picked up half a dollar. and
not a cent. TIL hobo's cot 10 know
a trick or two TO get along az we'll ss the
frenzlsd nnsncier. and both nave got TO
know suckers when they see them.
Foolins the Hospitals.
when 1 want q change OF Diet or feel
like viewing the passing world from q
quiet retreat / fool the police n ambu-
doctors aud lay up In a hospital for =
a couple OF weeks. In hot weather It's
dead easy to keel over In the street and
make out that you've been touched by the
heat. Sometimes when my stomach In
telling particularly strong 1 eat soap and
get palpltatlon OF the heart. Sometimes I
on I've got awful pains all over me.
There are any number or ways OF break
ing into a hospital. Getting In f. the
thing. Once you're there you
develop all SORTS OF puxzling symp-
toms that will make interesting study for
tn. young cubs just out OF medical school.
We'll. I guess I'll 20 over TO the square.
get a seat where theirs no punk bum
pick up a paper and read before it's time
to "a 20 ons OF the ferries or dcpots TO
catch suckers among the half-hollday peo-
pje with pocket peddlinx. The rushIi be
over In iva hours: then I'm going TO take
a trolley ride. II beats all what fne
trolley rides there are around a big city.
AMI they're q godsend In summed to the
retired hobo when he longs for a change
OF scenery and want TO get away from =
In. aiinknra mud aiIch lhInaa knr a hrnn La.