The news & observer., 1905-08-06

SAID II the midget ever struck him he
would report him to the management.
Just then pa came along and asked
what the row was about, and when pa
found that the midget was trying to
pick a quarrel with the giant, he took
the midget across his knee and gave
him a few spanks, and told him to quit
bullying the freaks. The midget got
up on a barrel and called his son, who
is bigger than pa, when / stepped in
between them and told the midgets
son if he struck my father / would
have his hearts blood, and he quailed,
and then L bullied the giant, who is a
coward, and now they are all afraid of
me.
[ don't see how a big fellow like a
! giant can be afraid of things smaller
than he is, and shy when a dog barks,
and be afraid some one is going to
smash him in the jaw, but pa says the
size of a man don't make any differ
ence, cause it is the heart that does
the business. A man may be big
enough and strong enough to tip over
a box car, loaded with pig iron, but
if his heart is one of these little ones
intended for a miser, with no pepper
sauce running from the heart to the
arteries and things, and a liver that
is white, and nerves that are trembly
and no gall to speak of why a big man
nerVy little man who is spunky, and
gets mad and froths at the mouth.
| have been having great times with
the monkeys, and | guess the manager
will make me superintendent of mon
keys, cause they all seem to be stuck
on me. and will do anything l tell
them to- Pa says they think / am
some new kind of a monkey, and they
look no to me. | lead out the big
monkeys that ride the goats and dogs,
and have a horse race in the ring, and
fasten them on the little animals, and
when they ride around the ring on
the dogs and goats and ponies, they
keep looking at me as though they
wanted my approval.
There is one little monkey that
sleeps nearly all the time, and !
played a trick on pa with it that like
to got me arrested and licked by a man
who was mad. A man and woman
with a baby in little wagon were go
ing through the menagerie, and it was
crowded and they left the baby and
wagon in pas charge, near the monkey
cage while they went to see the hip
potamus Pa is the most acocmmO-
dating man about holding babies that
ever was The baby was asleep when
it's folks left it in the wagon with pa,
but it woke up while they were gone,
and pa took it out of the baby wagon
and carried it around just as he would
at home, and showed it the animals,
and held it up on his shoulders, and
[ took the little monkey and put 1T iii
the baby wagon, and it went to sleep,
and [ put a veil over it, and was stand
ing by the wagon talking with a pea
nut butcher, when the parents of the
baby came back, and the WomIn
raised up the veil to see if the child
was asleep. when the monkey woke
UP and put its hairy hand up to rub
it's eyes. The monkey looked up ut
the woman with beady eyes and began
to chatter. and she yelled and her hus
band took q look at the monk, and he
was mad They could both see it was
a monkey instead of a baby, and they
asked where the old man with the
chin whiskers was that they left the
baby with. and the peanut butcher
said: "Wnat. that old guy with the
checkered vest? Why, he has gone
with the baby over to the lion cage,
where they are feeding the lions. Don't
you see him holding the baby upon
his shoulder" BY ginger, [ never saw
two people sprint the way they did,
cause I guess they thought pa was
sure crazy, and would give the baby
to the lions. But 1 told them the old
man was all right, and would bring
the baby back and if he didn't they
could have the monkey, cause l dldn
want them to think they were going to
be losers while attending our show.
Then l chuckled the monkey under
the chin and said: maybe this is
your baby, cause they change wonder
fully when they get into a show"
Well, l just had time to put the
monkey back in the cage when | saw
that couple surround pa, and the Wo-
man grabbed the baby out of his arms,
a
legs below the knee. and threw pa
down under the ostrich cage. and said:
you kidnapper! / am good mind !
to choke the life out of YOU" and he
pas Windpipe until pa s |
tongue run out, when a canvasman |
came along and hit the man in the !
ear. and he laid down near a zebra, |
and the zebra kicked at the man and |
hit pa. cause a zebra is crOss-ey2d |
and kicks like a woman throws a |
stone and no man knows where 1t |
listeth.
Pa got up to murder the man that |
chOked him, when the ostrich reached |
it's head out between the bars of the |
cage and picked pas big diamond stud |
off his shirt, bt% as a piece of rock |
candy, and swallowed it, and pa said |
that's the limit, and he called the |
and asked him how he was |
going to get his diamond stud out of |
the ostrich. The manager told pa |
to go to the dressing room and ask the |
woman who has charge of the ward |
robe for the ostrich stomach pump, |
and when he got the stomach pump |
the manager said the ostrich would |
cough up the diamond stud. Pa went |
off to the dressing room to get the |
ostrich stomach pump, and l knew |
there was going to be trouble, cause !
thought the manager was just
stringing pa.
Well, he went up to the woman in |
the dressing room, and said he came !
after her stomach pump, ostrich size, |
and you'd u died to see the ruction. !
The woman looked at pa as though he |
had escaped from a sanitarium, and |
then she seemed to think he was try |