The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-01-31
REPORT COURTEOUS.
RePartee as a Weapon Offensive ana
 Defensive.

Lcndon Chronicle.
 That Is the retort courteous" said the fool in the forest, when he qualified the quip and crank to the lie direct. The man who can accomplish the retort courteous gives splendfdly the lie direct to many an awkward accusation, and If his wit be bitter so much the more deadly his point.
 In the time of Charles II in England. nan age of wits, the grand master of the art of retort was the cripple first Earl of Shafteshury. "Shaftesburys' said the king to him one day. T be- lieve that thou art the wickedest dog in all my dominions" "Of d subject, sire, believe I aEn," was the reply. While speaking against the test bill in the House of Lords the Earl overheard an indolent churchman say. T wonder when he will have done preachinggr The orator whispered. loud enough to be heard by all, When I am made n bishop. my lord"
 pr. Garth. a witty physician of the court of Queen Anne, had prescribed a nauseous dose for the great warrior, Duke of Marlboro. When the duke ob- jected to following the directions the sharp-tongued Duchess Sarah broke in by saying, 'T'll be hanged if 1t does not cure you" There, my lord" ir- terposed Garth. you had better swal- low 1t; you will gain either way"
 Repartee has ever flashed brilliantly from the bench. Lord Mansfield. the famous English judge of the second half of the 18th century. listened to an argument of the insolently proud Sir Fletcher Norton upon 8 case involving certain manoriaI rights. My lord" said Norton, T can instance the point In person. Now, have myself two Iit- tie manors." We are well aware Of that" said the Judge. smiling kindly.
 Do you see anything ridiculous in my wig7" said a judge to the famous Irish barrlster. John Curran. ''Noth- tort.
 The late Chief Justice Russell wah hearing a trial for bigamy "what's the extreme penalty for bigamy?" whis- pered a barrister TWO mothers-ln- law" said Russell.
 Although the law seems to be es- pecially conductive to skin in fencing with words the church has supplied q large quota of men who delighted im the give-and-take of verbal warfare. The venerable Dr. Thomas Fuller, au- thor of "The Worthies of EngIand, however. met his match once when he propounded the following question to q certain pr. Sparrowhawk: Pray. what os the difference between a sparrow4 hawk and an owl?' Why" came the response. there is a great differences. An owl is fuller in the head fuller in the body. and fuller all over"
 The eloquent Baptist divine, Robert Hall. had a caustic wit. fiippant young woman. having broken iHto his reveries, in allusion to his fiancee, Mss Steel, by saying, "Ah. sir if we had but polished steel here we might secure some of your attention; but Mad am," he replied, make yourself quite easy; if you are not polished steel, you are at least polished brass"
 What are you going to do in lifegs asked Cardinal Manning of a part un- dergraduate at Oxford. 70 I'm going to take holy orders was the airy rec sponse. "Take care you get them, my son." came from the prelate.
 Horne Tooke is credited with this daring retort to George III, who had asked him whether he played cards: Your majesty, cannot tell king from a knave."