davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12
ToRTURING HUMoUR.
Body a Mass Of Sores-Treated by
Three Doctors but Grew Worse
Cured by cUticura for 75c.

MY little daughter was a mass OF
sores all over her body. Her face
was eaten away, and her ears looked
as if they would drop on. called in
three doctors, but she grew worse.
NeighbOrs advised Cuticura, and be-
fore I had used half Of the cake #
soap and box of ointment the sores
had all healed, and my little ones
skin was as clear as a newborn
babes. I would not be without Cuti-
cura again if it cost five dollars, in
stead of seventy-fye cents, which is
all it cost US to cure our baby. Mrs.
G. ]. Steese, 701 CobUTn St, Akron,
Ohio"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12
For GROWING Girls

West Pembroke, Ne, April "a
Mrs. A l. Smith, Of this place, says
that DOdd's Kidney Pills are the best
remedy for growing girls. Mrs. Smith
emphasizes her recommendation By
the following experience:
Ny daughter was thirteen years old
last November and it is now two years
since she was first taken with Crazy
Spells that would last a week and
would then pass on. In a month she
would have the spells again. At these
times she would eat very little and
was very yellow; even the whites Of
her eyes would be yellow.
The doctors gave US no encourage
ments they all said they could not help
her. After taking one box Of Dodd's
Kidney Pills, she has not had one bad
spell. OF course, we continued the
treatment until she had used in all
about dozen boxes, and we still give
them to her occasionally, when she is
not feeling well DOdd's Kidney Pills
are certainly the best medicine for
growing girls"
Mothers should heed the advice of
Mrs Smith, for by so doing, they may
save their daughters much pain and
sickness and ensure a healthy, happy
future for them.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

the shadow faded momentarily from
her face Then, after a while
1T occurred to me" she began re-
aectiTely, that most Of the married
people I have seen. seem-after q
tim-tO grow weary and Indifferent,
If not actually Discontinued or unhap-
py and"
Don't talk that way" he interrupt
ed somewhat impatiently; its foolish
and-and not natural You are not
yourself Of course We shall always
be happy, happier and happier as the
years 90 By"
Ell things were always what they
seemed she persisted absently-
Wei, and II they are not2 wat
% apPsaFances-Ehat does anEthInE
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12
A Heavy Zine.

Under the EIkins law, any railroad
company which pays rebates in any
form, or any shipper who accepts
them, is liable to a fine Of from 1000
to $4,000, upon conviction. 1t also
prohibits the carrying Of freight at
less than the published tariffs. The
Interstate Commerce Commission is
empowered to detect and prosecute
viOlatOrs Of this statute President
Knapp Of the Commission states that
since this law was passed, rebate pay
ing has been as rare as forgery.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12
Izrznere Generals

During the winter just past Japan's
generals along the Shake spent their
time vsriously. Gen EOdzu," acs
eordfng to japanese newspapers,
studied typeErfting- Gen KUroki
kent barnyard fowls During the
Hefkadtai engagement General KO-
dana scarcely slept at all for a whole
week. but did not seem one whit the
worse for his experience" Gen.
Oyama was reported as being the
same robust. meTry-heartsd gentleman
as eTer
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12
The Mfkado's Costly Advertisement

We predict q boom IN Japan's CON-
uerce after the war The country
has been brought prom nently before
the world in q way that it has never
been before, in spite Of the stream
of tourists which has poured into the
country. Indeed, II may be doubted
whether the tourist element has done
the country any good and whether II
has not created the impression that
japan is a land Of dreams where a few
pleasant months may be spent in idle
ness.-Japau Herald
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12
Leisure Of Japanese Generals.

During the winter Just past Japan's
generals along the ShahO spent their
time Tariously- Gen NOdzu, accord
ing to japanese newspapers, studied
caIigraphy- Gen KurOi kept barn
yard fowls. During the Heikautai en-
gagement Gen Kodama scarcely slept
at al for q whole week, but did not
seem one whit the worse for his ex-
persence-" Gen Oyama vas reported
as being "the same robust, merTT-
hearted gentleman as ever"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

A German court has decided that
poker should not be ranked among
the gambling games Perhaps the
Judge had played a game once with
some American and discovered that
he hadn't any chance.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

A college professor has Just been
acid up by two Gashing girl highway
men, II was a novel experience, no
doubt. but how much more satisfac-
tory If he could have held up at least
one Of the dainty banditsI
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

Mems hearts" says Dr. Hills. ARE
filed with a longing for something
better and fiLeT,' but why call atten-
ton to it unless you can suggest a way
to get salaries raised2
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

the Kidneys. Use
Doan's Kidney
Pills, which have
cursds thousands
Captain s. D.
Hunter, OF In
CINE No. Il, Pitts.
burg Pa, Fire
Department, and
residing at 2729
Wylie avenue,
says:
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

The fact that only sixty-fve stories
out Of 12-OO0 were found to be worth
purchasing BY a periodical that made 2
liberal prize offer is evidence that lit
erary genius isn't universal, even IL
these days when everybody writes for
publication.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

A New York man is suing two WON
en- for wagers which they lost He
ought to have known that a woman is
never in earnest when she bets, ex
cept when she wins
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

Word comes from London that the
new countess Of ROsslyn, who was
Miss Anna Robinson. an American
actress, has settled $4,000 a year on
her husband. without conditions
Which has the better reason to feel
satisfaction with the bargain?
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

Modern surgery has now advanced
20 the point where the human stomach
nay be safely removed If the cost Of
provisions continues 70 increase, we
may soon expect to hear Of a new fad.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

Consider the porous plaster, my
son" remarked the philosopher, don't
get discouraged Everybody turns his
back on it, yet it hangs on and event
ually achieves success by close aPpli-
cation
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

The Savannah Press considers the
political situation in Georgia ''promis-
ing enough" The politician who Will
not promise enough" is the rarest
thing on earth.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

Secretary Taft has approved a rec
concentration made by Gen Chaffee
for a new -bayOnet which is six inches
longer than the old weapon. With the
new bayOnet II viii be possible to
stick an enemy six inches sooner than
heretofore
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

The rumOr that Russell Sage was
seized with a violent coughing spell
the other day and cOughed up S1G0.
Oe6 for foreign missions is untrue
Uncle Russen's lungs are perfectly
sound. He recently, however, gave a
large sum Of money to the school
from which his devoted wife was grad
uated, so many years ago."
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

An Official report on desertions in
the American navy says that Of an en-
listed force Of 3O.O66 men only IO-T
per cent deserted. Only" 1O-7 per
cent. seems rather large
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

We don't observe any indication in
The news from Philadelphia that all
those feTvent prayers for the anchor
alton Of the mayor have been an
swered vet.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

yes" he said, 4 studied in a col
lsge OF pharmacy, and now I am read
ing The Bartender's Guide?' F"
What's your Object?"
Why, 1 expect to get a Job as a
drug clerk in a prohibition district"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

Connecticut judge has decided that
women cant tell whether a man is
drunk or not. Don't try it on your
wife or this decision viii be promptly
reversed.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

The fact that West Virginia edi-
tor has refused a position in the con-
suiar service just shows how wise a
man can be and yet fail to achieve
fame.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

Naggsby-''DO you know whether the
Siamess twins were from the humber
class Of their country2''
Waggsby-'T had always had the
idea that they we're pretty well con
nected-"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

The hare easily caught up with the
tortoise We'll, old man, you're not
much of a runner" he sneeTed
No" admitted the tortoise I'm
not, think III try for the crew. You
see, I'm quite at home in the she'll
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

A woman's club up in New jersey
is to discuss the question: Why are
We pOOr?" Principally for the lack of
a bank account, many Of US will an
swer.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

Dr. Lyman Abbott adjures US TO
hate the sin, but love the sinner &"
Not unless the latter is lovely, though.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

The Atlanta Journal speaks a word
for the red-headed girl. Generally,
she is able to speak for herself
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

Hewitt-DO you believe in this the
DRY that marriage pTOlOngs life2 Jew
ett-Sure; I've known a number of
ministers VINO would have starved to
death if it hadn't been for wedding
fees.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

The thing to DO with great wealth
is to spirituaIize It." we are told.
Trouble in this Office is to material
lie it
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

Sir Henry Irving's son is playing
Hamlet in IOudOC and winning q
great triumph. 'Ow's is Iegs2"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

A young married man has just
blown himself up with dynamite Per
haps he was tired Of being blown W
by his wife.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

An English visitor who says that
there is no humOr in American politics
has been accustomed all his life to
reading Punch.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12
CURE YOUR kidneys.

When the Back Aches and Bladder
Troubles Set IN, Get at the Cause.
Don't make the mistake OF believing
back ache and bladder ills TO be local
ailments. Get at the cause and cure
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

It is announced that ball playing is
: cure for insanity II has always
seemed to have the opposite effect
on the spectators.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

There are said to be 100000 mules
in this cOuntry-an estimate which by
no means includes all the native-bOTn
kickers-
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

1t viii be noticed that Edward At
kinsOn was too wise 10 say that every
woman could be made to dress on S65
a year.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

Sir Thomas Upton declines to let
the cup stand pat
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

King Alfonso has not gone so far,
however, as 70 give his bachelor din
1er
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

Superior quality and extra quantity
must win. This is why Defiance Starch
Is taking the place Of all others.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

After all, it won't DO to make too
much fun Of CastrO's threatened in
yasiOn. Look what the boil weevil
has done.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

He-But really, you are so unlike
other girls She-WeI1. I certainly
would be If I were not pleased to hear
you say so.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12
ELEvATEp 81 De KAlsER.
College Chum Of Emperor William
Now IN Cabinet.

Now in Cabinet
Emperor William has called one q
his college chums to the Prussian cab
met He has Just appointed Dr.. Won
Bethmann-HOlEeg to the important
portfolio OF Prussian minister Of the
interior, vice Baron Won HsmmeTstein,
deceased The new minister is one
Of the kaiser's Warmest personal
dating from the days when
they we're students together at the
University OF Bonn They we're not
only fellow students, but fraternity
brothers, being members Of that his
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

A Boston authority says that men
are far more beautiful than women"
Perhaps so; but they don't look it
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

The work of cornering the entire
supply Of electricity, visible and invisi-
bic, goes on apace.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

A woman hasn't any doubt you are
a good man when you can remember
the ages Of her children
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

Located in Custer county on South
LOup river; consists of 500 acres good
corn land, 60 alfalfa, 800 meadow and
the balance in pasture; good improve
ments. Inquire Of Victor H. Cohman,
Omaha, Neb.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

Carclay-'I don't see why you should
be cynical on the subject Of marriage
Your wife is of such a happy DISPOSE
ton, always singing as she goes about
her hOuseWOTk-
Dibdin-"Yes, that's where the tTOu-
bic comes in-that singing Of hers"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

u = hrEt DAYS q EIine'H Great EleEtor
e. seld Tor EREE 81 90 trisI bostis ana sreGss-.
D = h EEzEs La 81 Arch scresf. FhIll1elpkias p
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

1t isn't because the dentist is de-
spOndent that he always looks down in
the mouth.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

The cynical bachelor observes that
The best husbands, like the biggest fish,
are those that get away.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

The busiest thing in the world is a
1oIlar-
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

What DO you like most about going
to Sunday school, my little man2' ask
ed the benevolent stranger
Coming home" promptly replied
the little man.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

More Flexible ana Lasting,
won't shake out OF blow out: by using
Defiance Starch you obtain better results
than possible with any other brand and
one-third more for same money.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

Ambition is a pipe dream preceded BY
! horrible nightmare and followed by &
rude awakening when the pipe goes
out
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

TOday's worry is the result OF yester-
days neglect.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

Some women sweeten their tea with
gossip instead Of sugar
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

It heats anything how a girl whose
stockings 1T her well is never afraid
OF hammock that bucks like ?
broncho.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

One might think that the vice presi-
dency is a second cousin to the TIN
can tied to a dogs tail.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

The cOunterfeiter may succeed even
when he doesn't make good.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

Even the man who has little may
be satisfied with his lot
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

Some poetry IS so clumsy that Il
trips over its own feet.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

Solid business men aren't necessarily
hard characters.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

Guzzler-''Aiy wife says she has nc
fault to find with me- Wigwag-"S
has already found them all, I suppose"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

For sale by all dealers. Price so
,nts. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo. NY.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

The man who is the victim Of schem-
ers is generally the one who does as he
would be done by.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

To the housewife VINO has not yet
become acquainted with the new things
Of everyday use IN the market. and
who is reasonably satisfied with the
old, We would suggest that a trial Of
Defiance Cold Water Starch be made
at once. Not alone because it is guar
anteed by the manufacturers to be su-
perior to any other brand. but because
each 10c package contains 10 ozs, while
all the other kinds contain but u or It
is safe to say that the lady who once
uses Defiance Starch will use no other.
Quality and quantity must win
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

ct suppose, my dear" said old Mon
eybsgs, that you object to my using
tobacco because it is a poison"
Yes" replied his young wife; be
cause it is-er-such a slow poison"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

In Uss For over 80 Years
M Kind You have Always BO1Eh+
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12
Impartant 60 Mothers.

EsEzmine csrefuIly every bottle OF CAsTORIA,
safe and sure remedy for infants and children,
nd see that &
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

Il was three years ago that used
Doan's Kidney Pills for an attack Of
kidney trouble that was mostly back
ache, and they fixed me up fine. There
is no mistake about that, and If
should ever be troubled again would
get them first thing, as I know what
they are"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

For Rent or sale, two ranches OF 1900
ncrea Each
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12
THE TEACHERS FOE
A LIFE ALWAYS THREATENED By
NERVOUS PROsTRATIOH.

One who Broke Down from Six Years 81
OVerwork TsIIs How She Escaped
Misery Of Enforced IdIeneas-
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1905-05-12

IS a painter and decorator, and
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1905-12-20

Next time you want to buy a
bill of goods, and you are tempt
ted by the figures shown by some
mail-order house, make out your
list and submit it to some Will
mar merchant-notany of the fos-
sis, but some enterprising firm
that thinks enough of your trade
to ask for it in the columns of
your home family paper ask for
his spot cash figures (spot cash
enables him to discount bills) add
the probable freight, .and if
the difference stills so great that
you feel warranted in buying
your goods unseen, then send to
Chicago. On receiving the goods,
if any doubt exists as to the bar.
gain you have made, be honest
with yourself and bring in a sam.
pie and compare it with that Of
fered by the home dealer. When
you have done this you have a
right to boast that you have Civ.
en- the home dealer the benefit OF
the doubt, otherwise not. .....
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1905-12-20

Geo. S. Lotus, chairman of the
transportation committee of the Ma
tional Hay Association, has issued q
circular entitled "What's the Matter
with Minnesota It is an answer to
the statement made by j. j. Hill at
Willmar that the income of Minnesota
lands is very much smaller than the
income from Iowa farm lands. Mr..
Lotus says that the matter, with Min
nesota is that the railroads absorb
too much of the farm income. He
points out that in Iowa the average
net income of the railroads per mile is
81, 73O, while in Minnesota it is 81, 900.
If the Iowa rates were in force in
Minnesota it would save our farmers
about $24,0o0,000 q year. He also
mentions what the Tribune called at
tention to some time ago, that in spite
of Mr.. Hills Boosting of reduced rates
on his roads he is still charging more
than the average rate in the country
and that there is only one Minnesota
road, the Great Western, whose char.
ges are as low as the average quoted
by Mr.: Hill ,::.r.>~
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1905-12-20
Prizes for ESSAYS.

Capt. Isaac L. Mahan, patriotic in
structor for the department of Mime
sofa, G: A. r., is sending out notices
to the superintendent, principals and
pupils of the high schools of the state
announcing subjects of the essays
which the pupils are requested to SUBJ
NIT to a committee of the G.. A. r..
The subject chosen by Department
Commander G. F. Mcdonald is ''Min-
nesota's Part in the War for the Pre-
servation of the Union" The depart
ment offers three prizes for essays OF
not less than l, 500 and not more than
1900 words on this subject. The pri-
yes are a gold, q silver and copper
badge. The essays will be submitted
to and passed upon by committee to
be selected by the department CON-
mander.
The prize winners will be invited to
be the guests at the state encampment
to be held in Minneapolis next March.
The prizes will be presented at the. an
nual camp fire given by the local posts
Of that city. The prize essays will be
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1905-12-20

can surmis from the revelat ions
con erning their past LONGS.
They can, and undo edly will,
depress the price Of. stocks until
they can pure chase them for 9
small part Of their actual value,
and thus get control Of any in
dustry they wish to possess Un.
less Tom Lawson can break this
power by. getting proxies for the
majority Of the policy holders and
overthrow the Rockefeller dynas.
ty the oil king can in a few years
own all the industries in the
country. ** :. ,=1@.@
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1905-12-20

Epigrams from the Rams Horn.
Gods will for: all is the good
will Of all.
The only joy you can keep is
that you scatter.
Every good deed helps make a
track for others.
They who welcome new truth
never have long to wait for it. !.
Everything that strengthens
home ties binds closer Heaven
bands. : ~
Wise men never hesitate to
look in lowly places.
Heralds of the greatest events
have been amongst the lowly.
This world has always put it's
greatest treasures in some attic
or barn. :r.--..s @....E
Every time you stifle a good
impulse you make it harder to
start the next one. *>> j..
Nothing could be more unprof.
table than a life absorbed in pro.
titmaking.-Ram' s Horn. :. ..== !.