davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02
POINTED, PARAGRAPHS.
CBy John W. Pikc.)

10y JOnn W. 1lhc.)
Oysters may lack brains. but they know
enough to shut up sometimes.
y dollar in your pocket is worth more
to you than five dollars in some other
fellows pocket.
Justice and Law are supposed to be
intimate associates but the fact is that
they are but chance acQUalntancCS.
When the spirit of disObedicnCe is in the
heart OF the child, a judiciOus application
of mammals slipper becOmeth Il stern
necessity.
Foresight has nothing to do with love
ut first Sight. and hindsight never REM
edieS the matter. by a blamed sight.
The last argument of kings is war, and
the only rcdeeming feature of the argU-
mcnt is that it sometimes proves to be
the last of kings
The average woman sometimes fails to
distinguish between arrant flattery and
deserving cOmpliment-but not when it is
addressed to some other woman.
Give your friend an inch and he viii
take an ell. and if he ever returns to you
what ne takes, the chances are that it
viii be with an n prefiXed.
The GOOD eye beameth with kindness
and inViteth to confidence, but the evil
eve prOVOketh desire 10 paste il one.
and paste it good and hard
Lazy-bedS are often admOniShed that
lit is the early bird that catches the
worm but if the worm We're to emulate
the lazy-bcd, where would birdie get his
breakfast
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02

at advantageous terms It is true the
company could get along without the
consolidation or the extension; but it
would profit very materially by secur-
ing the extension. and the new fran
chise would be of immense benefit in
that any question as to the legality Of
the consolidation Of it's constituent
companies would be removed beyond
cavil
With these facts in mind, the council
should conduct the negotiations so that
the city shall gain every possible ad-
vantage legitimately. With that un-
Outstanding, it should not be difficult
TO handle the whole matter on a bust
ness basis. Nor should it be forgotten
that the committee of one hundred,
representing the people, is entitled to
express its views on any feature of the
negotiations, and its opinion should
carry great weight because it has be
hind it the sentiment of the community.
and particularly those who desire moth
ing but a square deal for both the city
and the company.
A good deal has been said and writ
ten about the cOmpany's large eXpendi-
ture and small returns from its invest
ment. If that point is To be urged, il
is only fair to remind the company's
advocates that somebody has made
money out Of the bonds and stocks
which represent initiation. If a man
spends $3.50. 900 on a power plant and
sells 100000 worth Of bonds on that
plant, he can hardly claim the synpa-
thy of the people who are taxed TO pay
interest on those extra bonds, uor. need
he hope to have any large degree of
commiseration because the plant does
not earn dividends on stock as we'll as
interest on the bonds.
In it's present condition. the entire
plant Of the Light & Railway company
does not begin to represent in value the
amount of its bonds and stocks. 1t does
we'll if it earns interest on the bonds
alone, and the company has no shadow
of right to ask the people of Salt Lake
TO contribute funds, directly or indi-
rectly, for the maintenance of dividends
on stock and interest on bonds beyond
the actual cost of the plant. Unfortu-
nately, in years past. the city has not
guarded this point; and it is quite pos
sible the present owners of the COM
pany's securities are not responsible
for the condition which confrouts them,
but there should be no baby plea of in
jured innocence. The company has as
stunned its load with its eyes open. and
has not given the kind of service. either
IN power, light or street railway, to
create friendly feeling for it's difficult
ties This is a good time for it to face
about and recognize the fact that the
people have rights which it can we'll
afford to cOncede. And if it Will not.
those rights ought to be demanded and
enforced.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02
THE TAR AT THE BAR.

CTom WatsOn's MaCazine.O
It's like this here, your honor, see?
As near as 1 can tell.
y gentleman hired my boat, and he
Was quite a proper swell.
He brought a lady down with him
70 make lOngish trip,
And so we scrubbed her thoroughly.
Judge-The lady?
Tar-nol The ship.
Well-cuttiug off my story short,
TO come to what befcll.
We steercd. but put back TO port,
Which much annoyed the swell
She fell between two water ways,
Z And got nasty nip,
So we rugged her ont with brand ne
Judge-The LADY,
Tar-No-oi The ship.
At last we put to sea again.
And started for the west.
All spick and span. without a STAIN
When all at once I'm blest
Her blooming timberS got MISPLACED
Which quite upset the trip
The water washed around her waist
Judge-Thc lady's?
Tar Cnodding)-And the ships
That's all. think. your honor; now.
III state to you my claim.
Five hundred dollars, you'I allow,
Won't build her M the same
Her rudder's gone. her nose is broke.
Her fac rye had to dip;
She's lying now upon the mud
Judge-The lady?
Tar-No-o-o-o! The ship. lLi
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02
THROUGH THE WEEK

LAST SUNDAYS SERMON.
Well. il NAV be true
What Mr.. Walker says
An 'twouldn't do
To conterdick him. 'kase
He's educated. an my feet
Amt got no trained big toe like Giltry' s
had
To pick out letters from the alphabet
An spell gee whiz."
But you can bet.
I know what tbs
To get my nose down to the grindstone
An work fur Jane an Emma and old Liz.
lhey don't do nuthin' but jes tend the
An cook the food / earn. an scrub the
floor.
An hang the close out on the line.
An i opine,
That All a womans good fur is jos this;
To help EN- eat
Why did Lohen grin?
Because he saw the audience saunter-
ing i'm, chatting pleasantly, and having
generally informal time during the
Why was -Lohen areen?
Because he did not know that this was
considered quite the proper thing 10 do
Are you going 10 Carmen, she
asked.
NO. I'm going for car men," he
shouted back as he trotted down the road
shaking his fist at the conductor who
would not look IN his direction.
There's going to be a jolly time tonight.
When \. {. is the L. of L.
salt Lake viii migrate to Peru.
For
thcreH
be
Than the biggest desk file can hold,
And the peaceable chaps,
That don't know how to scold,
Won't stay another minute longer;
The old folks committee were full OF
praise for the way the old people Were
handled ut the. Grand. Never has there
been less confusion or less Inconvenience
1 in Getting seated than there was last
Tuesday
And fewer who wore the white,
But flushed with pride. on ev'ry side,
The red cleaned clear and bright,
Q, dear old heads and dear old hearts,
tbs a JOY to gladden. you,
Yet we think with a sigh that by and by
Will come more of the badges blue.
More of the badges blue-tO pass
To world that is cOldly still.
And each one leaves "A vacant place
For YOU and me to fill.
For its birth and youth, old age and
death
Good morning and good night,
Until earth ceases, and we meet
Where there is no badge but white.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02
THEN AND NOW.

Z ROM PUBLISHED interviews it is
L inferred that Senator George Suth-
erIand objects to the assertion that he
owes his position TO a surrender Of his
first announced conviction that the
election Of Apostle Smoot to the United
States senate was a stupid blunder, or
worse. Apparently, too, he would have
people believe that he (Sutherland) was
elected to the senate entirely on his
merits as candidate, and not because
OF any influence apart from his own
winning personality and supreme quail
fcations for the office.
Lest some deluded mortal be i'm
pressed by reiteration Of Sutherland's
creed in this matter, The Herald has
resurrected a letter which Sutherland
wrote in 1902. and which was published
by The Herald i'm June of that year.
The letter was addressed to an editor
I'm one of the smaller towns of the
state: and the editor. with a delicate
appreciation Of the fitness Of things,
used the manuscript as d wrapper for
one of his papers sent out by mail. In
due course. the wrapper came into the
hands Of the newspapers. Here is what
Congressman Sutherland thought in
June, 1902 of Apostle Shoots candi-
dacy:
There is not the slightest objection
TO Il man coming to either the house or
senate because he is a Mormon: but
am satisfied that to send a high church.
man Will result in more disastrous crit
d
and her people"
That represented the attitude of The
Herald so exactly that it was approved
at the time, and has been quoted since
with some degree of satisfaction as one
prophecy which has justified itself. But
if that was true, as it proved, there
was no excuse for Mr.. SUtherIand's
later abandonment Of his position, and
acceptance Of senatorship at the
hands of the one man who precipitated
more disastrous criticism and agita-
ton respecting Utah and her people
If Sutherland was right then. he has
been wrong ever since he formed his
political coalition with Smoot and con-
doned the disasters he has brought
upon this state and its people.
Sutherland pleads in his own behalf
that ne was not the beneficiary Of
church influence, and technically that
may be accurate, but the man who hal
Shoots support needed no other iniu-
Cuce of a churchly kind to win: he
had what is commonly known as p
cinch, and he played it TO the linit.
Moreover, Nj. Sutherlaud's original OBJ
lection to Smoot in politics was the fact
that no one else had any show To win
against an apostle. That was true in
1902. il was true last fall in the IegIS-
I8tivc primaries. and il is true today:
and no one knows it better than Suth-
eTlaud himself
He may talk himself biacl, in TIE
face. he may even repeat his fairy tale
UUtii he believes it; but he Is wasting
breath trying to convince any sane
man. familiar with Utah politics. that
George Sutherland would have lad any
show for the senatorsli2 If he had rot
made his peace with Smoo- and the
Smoot machine.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02
Live Wires.

The driller taps the oil drill
ana ne oil drili taps the soil,
The railroad taps the district
To carry out the oil,
The magnatc taps the railroad
For rebates, per compact.
The preacher taps the magnate
And Jhe heather gets The tract.
Perhaps Mr.. Smurthwaite did not file
his charges in President Smith s
home ward because of inability to
determine which of the wards lived
in by the president is the home"
ward.
But if the concern is a losing prOpo-
sition. why is the light company so
anxious TO make 1t perpetual2
Former Mayor Thompson is entitled
TO public praise for tracking the thief
but many are wondering why he wait
ed until the expiration of his term
of Office before performing a public
service.
Minister Bowen evidently is a pref
" good man He has incurred the dis
like of President Castro
Perhaps tho president believes that
by calling congress together early he
can wear the senate out and thus get
some of his pet treaties through.
In view of the ugdeuiaDlc fact that,
in one way or another, Mr.. Rockefeller
has taken money from every preacher
in the country, it is scarcely couTte-
Gus Tor the preachers to refuse 10 ac-
cept "A small token like 100000 from
Mr.. Rockefeller.
Judge Brown of the juvenile court
is said to be man Of exemplary hab-
its, which VIII be Of great assistance
to him in his efforts to live within his
salary of $16-66 per month
After their meeting with the salt
Lake team today the Chicago Nation
ais will know whether it will be worth
their while TO keep on to Chicago.
The Rockefeller defenders make it
clear that they will defend the char
acter of that money until the protest
ants produce the man who saw MI.
Rockefeller take it.
The civil governor of Port Arthur
roasts General Stoessel. To make the
record complete we should have Gen
eral StoesseTs opinion of the civil ad-
ministratiOn there.
Those familiar with the quality of
illumination furnished will question the
accuracy of a statement that a light
monopoly exists in Salt Lake.
Salt Lake jobbers appear to be as par
ticular about accepting money as the
foreign missionary board
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02

In his qualification at being able to
say Mrs. Chadwick did not land him.
the president Of the Lorain. O.. bank
appears TO be quite resigned to the
failure Of his institution.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02
EASY FOR HIM.

BlOndm had just completed his trip
on the tight rope over Niagara Falls.
How did you ever gcr the nerve
to do it2' inquired one of the admir-
ing thrOng that surrounded him.
Il drafted ordinances for the light
company in Salt Lake last spring"
replied the great equilibrist as he
modestIy withdrew from public view.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02
From History S Pages.
COLUMBUS FAILURE.


Columbus lay dying.
This is the end he bitterly cried.
The end, and l have failed"'
Don't say that, Chris" remarked
one of those who watched at the bed
side You discovered a great COnti-
nent-a new world
Yes, I discovered "A new wOruId, but
l haven't yet found out what ailS Salt
Lake replied the great mariner.
With this he passed away, a disap-
pointed man.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02
Eureka, March 81.

Answer-Q The largest organ i'm the
world is the one that was constructed
for the St. Louis fair; the second largest
is in the Sydney town hall. Australia and
the third largest is in the Chicago audi
forum.
or Russian church does not acknowledge
the Pope of Rome as its head.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02
FINER DIDN'T COME.

King John had just signed the Magma
ChaTta.
= suppose you fellows think you
have done something smart" he re
marked to the assembled barons but
if Fernstrom had shown up here. as
he promised me he would, we'd have
shown you whether the people had any
rights
Hurting his pen into the Thames the
king put spurs to his horse and gal
Hoped from the scene.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02
HUMOR IN STATE PRESS.
ThoughtIess Love.
10 EIder RecOrdl

TiiEh-lifed bay teams and red-haired
girls seems to be all the rage nowadays
with the young chaps OF the city. the
only drawback to this sport IS that the
have no thought of the poor beasts Of
burden.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02

PortIand's treatment of the fair com
miSSiOners and Of the mining congress
delegates again proves that, from the
standpoint of comfort at least it is
more blessed to give than to receive.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02

The Committee of One Hundred
ought to be on hand to remind Fern
strom that the municipality of Salt
Lake and the Utah Light & Railway
are different and opposing
in this franchise business.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02

In Germany the cities of the empire
compete for the services Of the abIest
idents or not. Here in Salt Lake we
object to a man of ability if he hap
pens to be a newcomer. But then the
Germans always were peculiar.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02
Nephi BOYS Involved.
CNephi Record.)

The young man who calls twice q week
and then goes with his girl to an enter
t&tnmcHt occasionally is legally engaged
according to a recent court decision.
This being true some of the Nephi boys
are getting into close quarters.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02

BY their thoUShtfulness in sending
him warning, the terrorists have made
it possible Cor Governor General Ire
poff to suddenly move off the planet
without being surprised.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02

The sunstroke theory scarcely suf-
fees 20 explain the case Of Mr.. Ros-
seau. Internal machine manufacturer.
1t looks more like a case of mixing the
dope.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02
Good News For Shopping Ladies.
Gehi BannerO

The season of parties Will soon be over
and the lOafcrs will have to leave Main
street. This may give them pain but il
ladies.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02
Wrench For Mr.. seatridqe.

Davis County Clipper
About two months ago two well dressed
fellows went and called Mr. BcatridEe
out at night and after using abusive
language threw "A monkey wrench at him
as they were leaving to go away,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02
Times Changes.

Box Elder RCportO
The time is past for the people to use
their fiddle But the time has arrived
when the hoe viii come in handy.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02
Light Wanted.
CSpringville independent !

lSpringVille independently
Perhaps some person can now be found
who can explain Major r. w Young's
explanation of the explanation that does
not explain, but leaves the former eX-
PLANTATION incNpliCable.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02
WORLDS LARGEST ORGANS.

To The Salt Lake Herald:
To settle bet, which are the first
second and third largest organs in tho
world.
Also, \ says that the Roman Catholic
STA are the same. 3 says they are not
Who is right2
Kindly answer the above in Sundays
Herald, if possible, and Oblge
a SITRSCRTRER
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02
Will BE Well Buttered.
Lehi RannerN

ILcnl B9nneT-D
Mr. Joseph Colledge, the miIkman,
reports that some one broke into the
creamery at American Fork and stole 4
large quantity of butter. The thief was
not very well bred but he proposed to
be well buttered.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02
THEY DON'T DO IT NOW

Peter the Great had just launched a
new ship Of his own design.
There she floats, right side up with
care" he cried EIeefUlly.
Unfortunately for the Russian en-
piTe, Peters secret died with him
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02

william Gillette and Ethel Barrymore
made their entrance together in vaude-
vile with The FTiShtfui Predicament
of Sherlock HOlm%S, sketch which
Gillette had written without putting
in a word for himself to speak When
the curtain went up the stage was
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02

Perhaps Mr.. SmurthWaite did not file
his charges in President Smith s
home ward because Of inability to
determine which of the wards lived
in by the president is the home"
ward.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02

The driiler taps the oil drill
And the oil drill taps the soil,
The railroad taps the district
To carry out the oil,
me magnatC taps the railroad
For rebates, per compact.
The preacher taps the magnate
And Jhe heather gets The tract
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-02

But If the concern is a losing prOpO-
sition. why is the light company so
anxious 10 make 1t perpetuaI2
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-07-21

Washington-$100.o0 900 warehouse com. pany; $125.000 fertilizer factory. Graham-$25,00o fee factory. Oxford-s25.000 Ice factory. Concord-$1o,ooo textile manufac-
 Raieigh-Zsioo.oo .ooo fertilizer factory. Statesville-s3o.o00 manufacturing company. Corbett--s1o.000 telephone company. Mountain view-s1s,o0o supply com pany, Oklahoma City-$50.o00 power and construction company; hardware com pany. Chandier--s25.oo land company. Guthrie-$50.000 development compa- ny; s3oo.o0o manufacturing company: $1o0.e00 automobile and gas engine company: s2o.o0o brick works; boiler and machine works; szo,ooo surgical supply company. Reed--S5,000 cotton gin. oney---Gin and mill company Renfrow - s1a5.ooo manufacturing company. Cieveiand---sso.o .ooo brick works. Hennessy--szo.0 mill and elevator company. Pawnee--si5.ooo oil and gas compa- ny. South Carolina. Camden--$25,000 investment compa-
 Coiumbia--s5.ooo investment compa-
 Anderson--sso.o 900 warehouse com- pany.
 YorkviiIe--ss.oeo hardware eompa- ny. Aiken--water works. Charleston--Laundry; canning fac- tory. Georgetown sloo,ooo chemical l works. Dilion-1ce and cold storage plant. Tennessee. Memphis--S40,000 saw mill; S20,000 stone works; grain elevator; cooperage plant; boiler and engine works; $4o.ooo | hardwood mill
 Chattanooga-s25.ooo boiler and tank | works. Bristol-Mines (near.) Nashville = sf5.00o manufacturing company. Dandridge-Fiouring mill Dickson-Handle factory. Texas.
 clifton-Power plant; iso barrel
 Tempie-creamery sse,ooo gas com- pany. pany. Thy Leggett--s6oo.Oo oil and develops ment company. Milburton-s1o.0 900 oil company. Orange-Saw min tnear.) Prairieville-Cotton gin and mill. Houston-$75.oOo iron works; s25.-
 900 building and loan company. Fort Worth--Oil mill. Bartlett--Cotton gin. Virginia. Newport News-Canning factory. Richmond---$50, 900 iron works. Roanoke--S25.00 900 power plant. Claremont--$25,0oo timber company. Drake's Branch--$20,00o wagon fao- tory. Weston--s5o.eoo oil and light coua- pany.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-07-21
SPECIAL TERM ASKED
suru,Ev, THINKS WILLIAMS sHOuLD HAVE EARLY TRIAL.
ayuch Interest fin Murder Case at Pen- socoIa-Bond Ordinance Passes City Council-Vaughan to
 Face q Jury.

Pensacola, Fla July 20.-(Special) -Sheriff Van Pelt this morning dis- patched a letter to Judge Francls $. Carter, judge of this district, in whlch was urged the necessity TOT holo ing a special term of the circuit court in Escambia County and at Pensacola for the purpose of giving trial 10 William Williams, the twenty-three wear old slayer of John White. the clothing merchant. ~%:: ~-..
 The sheriff represented to Judge Car ter that a speedy trial would DC the most acceptable of occurrences. ana would serve to allay any feeling which might arise against the young man now at the county jail It is the opin- ion that Judge Carter will order the venire for a grand and petit jury i'm mediately upon the receipt of the sher- iff's letter and that the session VIII be held about the first week or the coming month. "f.'.
 As further representation to the circuit judge that a speedy trial would he q most acceptable thing. peti- tion was circulated and the most prominent people of the place at tached their signatures. This calls mon Judge Carter to have as early a disposition of the case as possible.
 There has been heard great deal of condemnation of Williams. put nothing has been sald Whlch Wouio lead the officers to believe that any violence would be attempted. To al lay any feeling which might arise from the probable death of the other young men in the hospital, wounded hv Williams, the special term of the court has been called, or has been asked for The letter from the sneT- if and the petition from citizens II is thought, will impress the judge with favor and the opinion IS ne WILL issue the cali at once.
 Williams is held in solitary confine- ment at the county jail. Friends and relatives have been denied the oppor- tunity of seeing and converslng with him, and the sheriff and reporters are about the only ones who have seen him since his Incarceration. Ihs vounC man, notwithstanding the enof- mity of his crime, one unequalled ln fine criminal annals of the county. has friends who have given him a great deal of compassion. Many who arc acouafnted with the circumstances ol tbe case. are very sorry for the wife of Williams, who was prostrated upon tbo news that her husband had beer locked up on the charge or muroer ana she nas never recovered from the shock. Williams, himself, Is elthe' feignine insanity or is very insane man He appears to have no recolfec' lion of the terrible affair, and wher snoken 10 about why he shot Johr White maintains an inditernt a.tituu' and claims that it Is all "oosh ah'