New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-05-24
,ressizely: Take back your knife
s now an historic relic -

pressiaely: Take back your knife. II
Is nov en historic relic
Senator Kittridge of South Dakota cav.
| that one Of the greatest mining prom
critics in the Black Hills country was
| named after the wife of the prospectoa.
He and his wife had been digging toeefh
er for some time. when, one morning the
man disturbed huge boulder, and be-
meath it he discovered pay Dirt which
led to quartz. When the claim was en-
tered, although the man had discovered
the mine, his wife insisted upon having
it named for her, and that is how it hap
epened that the great mine was named
THE Holy Terror
| That new associations do not change
the old trend of ideas was illustrated in
Roche. who used to be a political leader
| and lawmaker. but now runs a hotel
climbed to the top of the tall tower OF
the Times building. With wondering
| eyes he gazed down upon the great city
| spread for miles in all directions. After
taking in the immense panoramic view
| he gasped: Gee! What lot of Assem-.
| bly, districts you can see from here
A country clergyman called on Henry
Ward Beecher and asked his advice about
| what to do with persons who go to sleep
| In church, something which had become
| quite prevalent in his congregation Mr.
| Beecher listened very attentively, admit
1 ted that it was serious, and then said:
When 1 first came to Plymouth church
| | thought about this problem, and I will
| tell you the course I decided upon. I
gave the sexton strict orders that if he
/ saw any person asleep In my congrega-
! ton he. should go straight to the pulpit
and wake up the minister"
| Rev. Sias Swallow tells that when hs
| was student at the Wyoming seminary,
farmer came to Kingston to visit his
nephew, student there. The uncle had
| some decidedly urban customs, including
saucer. This greatly annoyed the nephew,
who at last said: Uncle, why do you
pour your tea into the saucere" The old
farmer looked up in surprise. Then he
SAID, in loud, hearty voice: To cool
it" to be sure. The more air surface
you give it the quicker it ceols. These
l mere modern Summarizes don + teach
much science, do they r. ~, ,IaaT.5
/ Senator La Toilette Of Wisconsin tells
happy over the marriage of her daughter
/ to. an official in Washington, AND she
told her grieis to all of her friends. They
We're all surprised when she returned
from an extended. visit to the national
capital and announced that she had be-
come reconciled to her son-in-law; and
thus she explained it:
l I'VE done no callin' together until
there come a White House reception; an
that I was 'bleeged to go with him
we'll as with Emily. So after we was
how han soma ~, he looked in hi his offieia ia
garbage my heart give way, an l says
to Emily: All right. EN-, exit homo "
Those who know ]. Pierpont Morgan
! intimately known how intolerant he Is Of
the. man of vacillattng mind On one &C.
caslon he had been made very 1mpa tlent
by the president of an organization in
which he was a director. An important
matter was hanging fire, and for three
consecutive days the board had gathered
about the long, polished table in the di-
rector's room. At each meeting the pres
ldent "wabbled'' more and more, first this
way, then that, and at each meeting Mr..
Morgan grew more and more FESTIVE.
Turning to a neighbor he suddenly ex-
claimed:
"Our president is either very Macl1i-
avelli in his methods of fencing for time
fish 1 ever saw" Then, rising and in a
tone of great suavity, he asked
MIR. President if you please, may We
have your 5 o clock opinion?"
A distinguished Southern statesman tar
ried long with convivial friends few
him to go to dinner he was somewhat
unsteady, but very dignified. He saw as
soon as he sat down at his table in the
for him to do something to divert his
wife's suspicious, and he seized ON this
appearance of another and equally dis
| t1ngulshed Southern statesman, who had
been with him all the afternoon, as a
topic Of conversation. isn't it a Shame, !"
he said, as the other stateman made his
way to his seat at the next table-"isn't
1t shame that the judge drinks?
am very sorry. to see it. It pains me
much: ~. His wife remarked: rs it pos,
| slble that the judge has beG1 drinking?'
MY DEAR" said the statesman, sum-
moning all his will-power and drawing
himself up in his chair, SIS it possible
that you cannot tell when man has
| been drfnking?'
Isidor Raynor. the new senator from
! Maryland, has been a leading lawyer in
that state for thirty years. He was In
congress while the Mckinley tariff bill
was under discussion. One day while
arg rhn an an amendment ne Casually re-
ury or a necessity" Here he was in
terrupted with a question from a mem
Der who generally kept himself in most
to say that everything is either a luxury
or necessity said the disheveled mem
her, 1r; ~, nov o'a,, I have Just taken bath:
at such a trivial interruption. Mr., Raw
nor replied, icily: In your case il is
both a necessity and a luxury; a neces-
stty because you need 1t SO badly. and
luxury because you take it SO rarely"
A lecturer who has always hattered
i himself that he was in the front rank
of public speakers felt a trife indignant
over his introduction to a Western audi
ence by the chairman of the COMMITTEES
having charge of the town lecture course
Ii was the opening night of the course
and the chairman said.
Il Ladies and gentlemen: This is, as YOU
know. the opening night of our town
| lecture course. l think that most of you
know that our lecture course last win
| ter was not a financial success and we
ran behind nearly 500. To avoid a re-
currence of this we have this year en-
gagged cheaper talent, the first of which
will now address you
The late Capt. Alfred Rice, the noted
shad fisherman of the Delaware river,
! was no less remarkable for personal
cleanliness than for his unequaled ham
ding of the mile-long shad seine
| Capt. Rice was not only clean and neat
himself; he insisted upon cleanliness and
neatness in his men. If new man
proved to be a sloven, he very soon
mended his ways under the CAPTAIN 8
frank criticisms or else he sought an
other job.
There. was a new man, one shad sea-
| son, who always wore a dirty white
shirt. In shad fishing it is best to wear
a black jersey. If, however a white
shirt is chosen, there is no reason why
1t should not be clean one, So, at lea ST
Capt. Rice thought.
| He stood his new mans dirty white
shirts for a month. Then, calling the
fisherman up, to him, he said:
| Friend who the deuce is it that Won,
ALWAYS get to wear yo,Jr Shjrtc AZ. 60