Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-12-21
THE STORY TELLER.
NO INDECENT HASTE FOR HEF

of mine. a woman, now dead these many
years.
'"1hc woman. with tragic air, rushed
upstairs one day and cried to her maid
Celeste. put my curling iron in the fire
at once. james has been bitten by u mad
dog"
"'Ah, brave msdame! said Celeste.
Madame Is going to cauterize the wound.
:" NO. said the lady. But I'm going |
to curl my hair so l can run for the
doctor"
POLITICAL GUESS MATCH IN KAN
SAS.
who is the ce-president Of the United
states? The question was raised in
George Persol's shoe store yesterday by
Les Grabendike. Not q clerk could tell.
Mr. Picrsol himself was the only per-
son in the store who knew the vice-presi-
dents name. The result In the store led
Mr.. Grabendike TO wager the oysters that
half the people in the two blocks be-
tween Second and Fourth on Main street
couldn't name President Roossvelt's run
ming mate A haphazard canvass to-day
showed that Mr.. Grabendiks IL pretty
nearly if not quite correct
one good republican replied BY saying:
cheese"
A lady, evidently not very familiar
with the drawing OF political lines' VEN
turcd: Alton b. Parker"
Jim Kerr said: II don't know and
don't Givc a durn.'
\ soda fountain man. a clothing sales
| man. two grocots. a clothing house pro-
prietor. "A physician. and u clerk were all
1,I I.,f
DOMESTIC BLACK ART"
| A French lady once lived in London in
a nat She had two servants. a maid and
general cook, who was Englsh-in fact
| cockncy.
! The cooks ham and eggs were excel
lent, her boiled dumping supremacy good.
beyond that her science was dim. Tln
French lady took the cook in hand on
the second day, and made an omelet be-
fore her eyes The cook sat down on IA
chair with a face like an astonished fun
moon. She said it made her that ner-
lvous to see madame whisk the eggs
about So The omelet was done and
ready to serve before the cook had re-
covered.
The next morning madame stewed up
the mutton of the day before. She made
somc auburn colored sauce. She conjur-
cd with herbs, she juggled with condi-
ments she kept the pot on tho move
over three flames Of the gas stove all the
time The cool sat hopping her fore.
|hoad for a while Then she reached for
ihcr bonnet and put II on When the dish
Twas done she tied her bonnet strings
which had hitherto been dangling, ant
shock the dust Of the kitchen from hel
feet
Him a cook, men," she said, at The
door "Fii'm not going into service at an,
time O. life to do them black har
tricks"
As a matter OF fact, the French lad,
| was not a necromancer nor much of :
cook in her own opinion She mcrel.
! knew the half-dozen sample tricks o
cookery which the humblest French wo
man knows.
DODGED THE APPELLATION.
G. Dwight L. Moody once called on Il min
stcrial brother in an Eastern town. de
a string to spend the next day. Sunday
with him. The minister was agreeable
Il hut said that he was ashamed to asl
Moody to preach. ''Why?" asked NJ
h Moody "Well." was the reply. our pc"
pie have got such a habit of going on
- before the close of the meeting that
o. would be an imposition on a stranger
!. II will stop and preach" said Mood!
When Sunday arrived Mr.. Moody opene
the meeting and then encouragingl
said: MY hearers. | am going to spea
of two sorts to-day. the sinners hrs
u then the saints" After earnestly ao
dressing the supposed sinners he sal
&c that they could now take their hats an
GO But TIE whole congregation waite
Il ard heard him to the end
HIS FATE SEALED
A new member was bescechins an
$, pleading with the speaker to put M
on "A certain committee. Mr.. Canno
= shook his head. He would be glad
do It, but it was not practicable.
"Th"n. Mr.. Speaker said the ne
member. you seal my fate. NV fail'ii
I'd to get on this committee simply ruiz
me with my people, and I had as We
prepare to go home"
re With solemn face the speaker eNtcn'
ed hand, and all he said was Coco
it bye
SHE KNEW HER WEAKNESS.
II was the sweet scent Of the lilies
au the conservatory or the beauty of Il
Young girls gilt hair. At any rate. a
Il ter the twO-step. as they rested in Il
shadow beneath q palm, he proposed
nd the dcbutante in white.
at cannot be- she said Il am u
worthy of you.
''Oh. rubbish said he.
nt at is true: it is too true. And s.
sghed.
"You are an angel" he said, ardentl
MS NO: no. you are wrong said t
Young girl II am vain, idle silly, L
tn. terly unfit to be your helpmate throui
life"
nd lie laughed lightly. lie said in a SCOT
ing voice
goo "Why, this is sheer madness. VIII
sort of a wife do you think ought
as haVeP"
"a very wise. deliberate. practie
.ur woman" she replied: "one able to ii
on your small salary"
WHERE THE DELAY WAS.
nd When "A man came rushing at terri
pace to catch n Staten Islahd fcrrybo
and arrived Just in time to have
MS rateman shut the door before his fa
"A bystander remarked:
nat "You didn't run fast enough"
81 ran fast enough" replied the dis