Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1905-03-09

out as fast as the man can hight H."
Tourist-Can l have q couple OF
towels. Landlady--Are you going to
stay here all summer7-Lustige Blaet-
ter.
Some one tells story OF steam.
boat passenger watching the revolving
light OF lighthouse on the coast, and
exclaiming:
Book Agent-Now. sir, can sell
you an encyclopedia Old John--Noa.
! don't think 80. I'm tew old to rido
now.--Punch.
Jinks-How's your wife, BIlnksl
Biinks--Her head troubles her u good
deal. Jinks-Neuralgiaf Blinks--No;
she wants a new hatl
Teacher Which letter is the next
one 10 the letter "H"2 Boy--Dunno.
ma'am. Teacher--What have / on
both ndes OF my noser Boy-Freckles,
ma'am.
Pardon me-" said the masher, but
you look like young lady know"
Pardon me-" interrupted Miss
Bright 'but you look like a man
don't know."-Philadelphla Press.
why are you pouting. BthelT'
Jack said was beautiful. | told
him he must have been shortsiShted. Z"
What did he say " why. the hor-
rid thing said perhaps he was."-Chi.
cago News.
Clara overheard her parents talking
about Bible names. 'Is my name in
the Biblef' she asked. mo. dear"
Didn't God make met" Eyes" Then
why didn't he say something about
iitF'-harper's Magazine.
Tom-Young HugginS has a cheap
look about him. yet he is decidedly
popular with the fair sex. How do
you account for III JAck---oh, l sup
pose there is a sort Of bargain counter
charm about his cheap look.
Il am amazed, sir. that you should
propose to my daughter You have not
known her a week" "True madam,
but l have known you for some tlme..
and everybody says your daughter
takes after you" He got the girl.
II wisht wuE president of the Lum-
Der Trust" said Jimmy. and de base
ball managers had to come ter me fur
de boards fer deir fences" "whyY'
asked Tommy. why. wouldn't sell
dem q bloomin' board dat didn't have
a knot-hole in H."
Papa--Your mother tells me you
haven't been very good boy to-day.
Johnny. Johnny-Between US, pa
think shea 9 little prejudiced against
me. Il was only the other day che
told Aunt Kate was just like you
Boston Transcript
"Why." said Bobby to his elder
brother. do herring have 90 many
more illnesses than other tish "WhO
says they dof" asked the youth ad-
dreaSed. why, this book says that
thousands upon thousands of them are
cured every year"
mo. Harold" said the sweet girl;
IL can only be sister to you" well,
then" he savagely replied as he heard
a subdued chuckle. "as your brother.
| shall claim the privilege OF lying
under the sofa while you make fools
Of the other fellows"
Mrs. Potts-Just to think OF you
talking to me In such style. You,
who used to swear was an angel.
MIR. Potts--Look here, my dear. that
isn't fair; you know 1t isn't. What is
the use OF twittlng a man about the
lies he told fifteen years ago?
'If a man tells the exact truth at
all times" said the philosopher. "he
has done as much as ought to be ex.
pected of him." My friend" answer.
ed the weather forecaster. "he has
done great deal more than ought to
be expected of hlm.--Washlngton Star.
Friend--I don't understand why you
and your husband should have separ-
ated 80 soon. Mrs. Aftermath-It was
all owing to the baby's temper. "Mer-
cy on us How can that be?" I'VE
couldn't agree as to which one Of us
the baby took after" New York
Weekly.
Little Ruth visited a large whole
sale grocery store with her aunt.
While there clerk gave her a small
sample bottle of ketchup. That even
Ing she tasted 1t and seemed much
pleased. oh. auntlev' she exclaimed
some time later, when you go to that
store again, please tell the clerk
would like another example of ketch-
Chronicle,
"You were never married, be-
lieve2" mo: was never married"
That's singular, isn't it?" mo, not
at all. You see, the first time fell
In love l said to myself-'I'll marry
her or none.'" why didn't you mar.
rv her thenT' "WaIl vou 500 oe.o.