davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1905-03-26
Stone & Fairfax Sales.

Stone & Fairfax report sales as fol-
lows:
To Oscac s. Taylor. in connection with
w. ID. Sullivan, real estate broker, the
three-story brick building, ia Thirteenth
street northwest, for s16 600 For John
W.. Filling the threa-story brick store
building. SO Ninth street northwest. for
$S,0o. The lot mas a frontage of about
twenty feet ani depth of about 100
1eet. For George j. May, the store and
dwelling property at the southwest cor
ner of First and p streets northwest
for $500
For James L. Gibbs and Jacob Booi
trustees. the northwest corner OF Thir-
teenth street and Kenesaw avenue, Co
iumhia Heights, containing 5000 square
Ieet, for 5000. The purchaser is the
Friends Meetings, Orthodox, and it is
INTENDED as site for a church building
ior tie use of the congregation to take
the place OF the church edifice at the
corner of { and First streets northeast,
"hic;. the congreg alton has occupied for
NUMBER or years past and which being
IN the square recently condemned by the
government for use as a site for the pro-
posed office building 10 be erected for
The Senate, which WIS acquired by the
United States
For John It. Armes. to Bates Warren.
liDs NJ street northwest, with the flftv-
foot lot adjoining $4,000. For
Baker Weaver the three-story resi-
dence 1905 Thirteenth street north
west. for $12.500. for Samuel A
Drury' the three-story stone and
The Washington times., 1905-03-26
Cathedral School.

An award for the construction of the
Harriet Lane Johnston Choir School
building will probably be made about
the end Of the present week. A number
of bids for the school, which is to cost
s156,000, have been submitted, and these,
with others yet to come, will be opened
at the Riggs Bank building, on March
80. The structure will face Massachu-
Setts avenue extended on the south and
will be located several feet from the
future cathedral itself The style of
the school is to be collegiate Gothic,
SO as TO correspond with the general
treatment of the cathedral and the 9TH
er ediices to be erected in the quad
rangle of which the school is to be the
beginning 1t will be two stories high.
with an English basement, and with
Gothic arches, and colonnadeS will give
the impression of cloister. an effect
greatly desired in ecclesiastical archi-
lecture
anee of the letter II, with wings jutting
out on either side. In one wing are to
be located the study rooms and dormi-
tories, while the other IS TO be given up
to a splendid music room and spacious
dining hall. In the center an immense
hall is to be used as d great common
room, where the boys will gather around
songs and swap yarns. The headmast-
-er's house will connect with the main
building on all four sides.
Work on the foundation has already
begun. and 1t is hoped to have enough
of the structure completed by the next
exercises and the laying Of the corner
stone.
The Washington times., 1905-03-26
Willige, Gibbs & Daniel Sales.

Willige. Gibbs & Daniel real estate
brokers. report the following sales dur
ing the past week:
For George J. Easterday. 132 U street
northwest, to Marie S. Eastwood, for
81, ,25O.
For George r. Robbins, 1905 Caroline
street northwest. to William f Mentel,
for So, 80
For c. II. Weaver, 2033 F street north
west. to Mrs. Mary Feast for s5.675.
For James T. Barbour lots 6. 7. s.
and 9. in block 1. Moore & Barbour s
ADDITION to Bloomingdale. to Sophia
Fersinger. price withheld.
For Marie S. Eastwood to George 7
Easterday. lot on Howard avenue near
Also lot on Seventeenth street. near
Howard avenue northwest, for 81 500.
For the Swartzell. Rheem & Hensey
Company. 1886 Kenyon street north
west, Columbia Heights to Mrs M r
Eldridge, for s., 800
For William A Hill, apartment house
3O25 Dumbarton avenue northwest to
Thomas c. Caston for $3.50
For Myers & Wunderly. house on On
tario avenue, near Columbia road, to
Roland Evans, for $500
For the estate o9 John GuttcnSon,
houses l754 and 1l5S Seaton street north
west, to Louisa Mary Eccard, for g 300
each
For Mrs. Elizabeth L. Tally and Mrs.
Annie L. Beverly. $40 Second street
southeast, to L, Percy Daniel. for s.. 800
For Martha J. Melton, apartmept
house 12i5 Duncan street northeast, to
Maria J. Beckwith. for So. 300. ~
For Harry j. O'Connor. 81 X street
The Washington times., 1905-03-26
THIS MADE HIM LAUGH
Dear Mr.. Gloomy Cyrus: Call around at nv home
and hear my mother sing Alexander think you will
be cheered for WHILE

| Gloomy Cyrus smiled once, and once
| ing of his merriment muscles was
! caused by Lester R. Moran, of 101l
| Fourth street southeast. Because it Is
such a difficult thing to make Cyrus
laugh. Mr.. Moran will be presented with
50 bill as soon as he calls at The
Times office
But, as persuadIng Cyrus TO laugh re-
Guires SO many efforts and such concen-
trated wit and humor. The Times will
give s. TO the man. woman or child who
Will make him laugh this week 1t is a
hard task and Well worth s. If success.
ful. Cyrus IS weighed down with gloom,
ana. even when he does smile. he soon
relspses into his melancholia
Try to make him laugh and get S..
Send your letters to GLOOMY Cyr,Is
The Washington Times
The smile OF last week which Cyrus
enjoyed was the result of two sentences
written by Mr.. Moran. Apparently, Cy-
rus appreciated to the full the delicate
sarcasm In the words, and. for one
minute ana thirty seconds, he was
threatened with 9. paroxysIn Of real
laughter
Other Jokes which were sent In. and
which failed to make the melancholy
Fellow laugh, were as follows:
From an Old Tombstone.
Just tickle him under the chin.
And do 1t ag'in and ag'in,
And II he says no!
Just tell her 10 go
And tickle him under the chin
That Will make Cyrus laugh,
For he can't stand the gaff
OF pretty girl tickling his chin.
LEE POLK.
The Washington times., 1905-03-26

northwest, to John Knighton, for s., 500
For Myers & Wunderly.s corner house
on Central avenue and Erie street. &c
w. 8. Robbins, for $780,
For Louis A, Fosafy. 1NS F street
northeast, to William L. Cullen. FOR
s., $50
For Frederick w. Krichelt. 2iO7
street northwest, to John r. Smith, foI
For G. F. schaeffer. sa2 H street north
edsd; F6r to 1snn. 0Iia l. { 6offqtt; R,d for $780,
street northeast. to John McDonough,
for s., $50.
For James f. Barbour. lots 13, ID. 15
and !6. in block 8, Moore & Barbour S
addition, to Joseph ]. Moebs. for IS $50
These lots are located on the nortnea m east ST
corner of North Capitol and Thomas
streets northeast.
For Stephen NJ. Chase, west twenty
feet of lot 2. in block 8. Cliffbourne, to
John L. Perkins. for 50, 500.
For Kennedy & Davis, apartment
house, 3019 Dumbarton avenue north
vest to Charles F. Johnson. for s., go.
For Col. Henry May. 1 street north
For Annie l.. Beverly and Elizabeth
Tally. 1886 o street northwest, to Charles
F. Johnson, for $3.50
For Joseph l. Weller, 14Os PennsyIva-
nat avenue southeast, to James F. Hart.
for g, $50.
+
or lot on Minnesota avenue. Chichester.
Anacostta, to Mary e. Havenner, for
q, 460
For Mrs. Maud Springrnan. q T street
northwest, TO w. II. Hampton, for So. .05O
For c H Hanback,, . o street north
west. to Jacob L. Fechtig, for s., $50
For Harry Wardman, the two-storv
fiat, 30l4 Q street northwest, to Mrs.
Mariana M. Van Why. for ST. .25O.
For John Scrivener, 209 Ninth street
northeast, 10 Mrs. Heinricka Whitman.
for 8, ,ZT5.
For Charles f. Johnson, the two-story
apartment, 3ol9 Dumbarton avenue
northwest, to John U. Perkins. for SC. 80
For Lulu n. Riffel, 109 Rhode Island
avenue northwest, to Miss Gertrude
WitherS, for Sc, $50
For Cecilia Howard, lots 20S, 204 and
zoo. block $50. north side Of Seaton street
between Seventeenth and Eighteenth
streets northwest. for s., $50.
The Washington times., 1905-03-26
Buildings to Cost $500, 900.

The recent purchase of fifteen acres
of land near the Catholic University was
the first step in most important un-
dertak.ng. The land was bought for the
Ob1ate Fathers. whose establishment is
now located At Tewkesbury, Mass,
whence IL is to be removed to the Dis
trict just as soon as the buildings neces-
sary TO house the fraternity can be
erected. The Oblate Fathers devote
themselves entirely to the work of edu-
cation. They have several institutions
in this country. one of them of consid-
cradle size at Buffalo. but the one near
the Catholic University will rank them
all In dimensions and general impor-
tance. II is probable that three large
buildings will be erected here at cost
of something like a half million dollars.
and Architect Won Herbulis, who made
the plans for the Buffalo institution
VIII, IN all likelihood. prepare the plans
Tor the three structures for the new
establishment
The Washington times., 1905-03-26
Apartment Houses.

William Browning has bought. through
the SwartZeli, Rheem & Hensey Com
pany, plot of ground on Thomas street
between North Capitol and Lincoln ave
nue., on which 1t is proposed 10 erect
eight two-story apartment houses The
approximate Of ground and buildings
VIII be $40 900
Architect George S. Cooper Will build
al Thirteenth and Harvard streets. a
Lhree-story apartment house having a
frontage of So by depth OF 10t feet
There will be three apartments on each
moor. each of them 10 contain five rooms
ana path. Light brick and limestone will
be used for the fronts. while the lobby
pubic nan and stairway will be finished
an nard wood. All public halls and bath
rooms VIII betiled In mosaic.
AaE. Cooper VIII also build on wyoming
The Washington times., 1905-03-26
Important First Street Deal.

An important improvement will short
" be made on First street northwest.
just north of Pennsylvania avenue. and
facing the Capitol Park. A part of the
unsightly roI OF frame shacks. with a
@ total frontage, of y feet. and a depth Of
SS1A feet, has been sold. through Willard
& Reed. TO Morris Welnstein. OF New
York, who intends 10 erect on the site
an eight-story apartment house fire
proof, and equipped In the best modern
style. The price paid for the property
was $3.50 per square foot This pron,
erty adjoins that bought some time ago
by Dr.. Alonzo Bliss. who also is credit
ed with the purpose of making improve
lar To those TO be made by the New
Yorker.
The Washington times., 1905-03-26

am not taking chances by answering
beforehand. This Is no trouble column.
Who was the greater general. Wash
fngtOn or NaDoleor2"
DEBATING DICK.
Washington. by ,niie He never had
any serious trouble with his wife.
do you think II unmanly To weep
over touching incldents?H
TEARFuL THOMAS.
Not at all, my boy It's much cheap
er to give up tears than coin. 1 wish
L could always let myself out that
easy.
When will bass begin to bite free
ly? FISHING FRANK.
Just the day after your vacation comes
to an end. Please don't bother me with
such easy questions.
s'Do you think there is a sucker horn
every minute?'' EDWARD EASY.
was convinced of it when | found
myself undertaking the job of answering
these fool questions.
DO you think it IS dangerous In go
IN swimming on fell stomach?"
NAUTICAL DICK.
Perhaps It isn't, bur a better way Is
TO go on a life prese:ver.
Is the art of making a hard copper
entirely lost2''
MECHANICAL MORGAN.
Not by any means. All you have to
do is to let Kim serve couple of years
in the Tenderloin.
The Washington times., 1905-03-26

avenue, between Eighteenth and Nine
teenth streets, q five-story apartment
house with four suites of apartments on
each floor, arranged like those in the
other buildings. In this house also the
halls will be tiled with mosaic and there
will be Il marble wainscoating five feet
high Electricity will be used for light
ing and also to furnish power for the
elevator There will be fire escapes on
each side accessible TO each fat
Architect Goenner has drawn plans for
w. G. Zimmerman for two two-story
apartment houses on Fifth street. near
Q northwest. They will have tiled bath
heat
The Washington times., 1905-03-26

brick residence 1713 street northwest,
for $1,000: for C1a1 ence f Norment, in
connection with Early & Hampton, real
estate brokers. four houses in Mintwood
place for $4,000, AID in connection with
the same brokers they have sold for
Joseph F. Harper the four-story apart
EIeEt house the Winchester, on Eight
eenth street neap u street, for $50, 600
For Bates Warren, twenty-five two
story and basement dwelling house, 1910
North Capitol street. for s., 500; for NJ
X. Peck. the three-story dwelling 45
Quincy street northwest. for s4.580.
The Washington times., 1905-03-26

What do you consider the most re-
Mafkabie feature of the months of
January and February2"
HAROLD HISTORY.
On January l3 nobody wrote to The
Times accusing one of the District of
hcials of Being a disguised safe blower
and all-around crook.
On February Ban johnson did not
predict war between the two major
baseball leagues. and that the American
would chase the National off the map.
Whom do you consider the greatest
diplomat that ever lived?"
CONRAD CONSUL.
Brigham Young wins on the bit. Think
of how he handled that bunch of wiyesr
!, DO you think there is anything in
this simple life husiness?'
SAMMY STRENUOUS.
Not unless you write book on the
subject.
To you think humanity will derive
any benefit from the Japanese-Russian
warp MILITARY MACK
l should say sol 1fIe longer Ii con-
tinues the more Japs will be killed and
the less jiu-jitsu teachers will be left
10 come over here and get free adver-
tising.
What do you think of reform move
Inents in big cities?"
MORAL MIKE
Well. there is good money in it for
those who get in on the ground floor.
What is necessary to become a med
ical student?''
SAwBONES SAUL.
The first essential is to fail in every
thing you undertake, and cause the
family so much worry that you are told
to choose between the reformatory and
the medical school. Choose the latter
let your hair grow, wear bow neckties
smoke pipe, pay twice as much for
The Washington times., 1905-03-26
MUCH ACTIVITY
IN PROPERTY IN
C|TY'S CENTER
Constant Inquiry for
Realty in Business
Section.
CATHEDRAL SCHOOL BIDS
Buildings Near the Catholic
University for ObIate
Fathers.

An active movement in real estate In
the center Of the city is among the
proDapllltles OF the near future Sew.
eral brokers have orders for both The
sale and purchase of properties alons
+, u, and II streets, between Tenth
and Fifteenth. There seems to be nc
doubt that some of these deals could be
speedily brought TO a close were it not
that every piece of property on the
market is held at enormous valuations.
and In nearly every instance intending
purchasers and sellers are wide apart
Prices for realty on F street anywhere
within the limits here described, run
all the way from $50 to $50 the square
foot. 1t is said that something like
half q million is wanted for the old
Stone property at the northeast corner
of F and Fourteenth streets. and other
sites. although. perhaps, not quite as
high. are held at fancy prices
While some of the figures advanced
would seem prohibitive yet SO persis-
tent is The demand for business proper
ties on and near the streets above men,
toned that brokers are hopeful of being
able to consummate some of the deals
in their hands
Large Office Buildings.
It is known that one or two, If not
more, large office buildings are in con-
temptation, and there has been some
talk even Of another large department
store on the old ST. Matthews Church
site. This, however, is regarded by
those best informed as improbable, be-
cause that property is held at about
S450,0Oo and it is not thought likely that
such a sum would be paid by anyone
for site to be used for business of
this kind.
On the other hand, there are proper
ties offered at prices that would seem
to invite investors. Thus there is one
on F street not far from Twelfth. for
which something like 100000 is asked. AS
the store in this building rents at about
$1,000 a year, and there is considerable
renting space in the upper stories, the
price looks reasonable enough. for the
rental of the store alone would pay 612
llel cent on the investment
The Washington times., 1905-03-26

DOCKS as You thought they would cost.
get room In q tough part of town. go
te the first lecture, and take a front
seat. After the sophomores have passed
you up over their heads to the last row
In the amDhitheater and then dropped
you firmly and not gently upon the
floor. you will be ertitled to call your
self a medical student.
What will be the prevailing style in
skirts this spring?'
FASHIONABLE FAN.
The one whose trail is designed to
sweep up the most dirt.
Why is boxing so strenuously op-
posed?" FIGHTING FRED.
Because it gives its opponents SO
many chances 20 get their names into
the papers.
II am tall. graceful. and esthetic A
deal and who has asked me to marry
him is stout. handsome. and intelligent
Do you think l should marry him2"
DOROTHY DOUBTFUL.
No. Dorothy, never marry man who
IS short He is liable to stay short the
rest of your life, and ycu might have
10 so to work
world?" SLLYE SUFFRAGE.
The one who is able to land me as a
husband. If one should land me, ! VIII
have to tell her she is the greatest that
ever lived, now or in times past. SO 1
The Washington times., 1905-03-26

What would I do to make Cyrus
smile! | would ask him to accept the
nomination Of the Democracy for tho
presidency in 1908. EBEN UPPE.
The Washington times., 1905-03-26

Cyrus viii smile if you tell him he
VII, soon be married and that his trou-
b,es viii then be over. Tell him Wffey's
The Washington times., 1905-03-26

The best scheme - know of to make
Cyrus laugh is to give him a red hot
ning would probably excite hts risibiif.
tles ONE WHO KNOWN.
The Washington times., 1905-03-26

If Cyrus" could only see Some oT tn.
eHorts made by kind sympathizers in
order to make him laugh he would
roar. MARKUS THINKHARD
The Washington times., 1905-03-26

Tlamma will come and sing sweetly to
him, and baby VIII coo the liveiong day.
Yours, CHEERFUL.
The Washington times., 1905-03-26
Toad Hollow. Marct, .. 10

Toad Hollow, March q. 1906.
Lear Cyrus-I will try in nv feebIa
way 70 bring a smile to that faraway
Counienanee or yours, for 1t grieves me.
yes, IL really does, to see one look SO sad
ana doWncast- What Is the cause OF
your sadness. Cy, too many heavy din
ners, or too much reading? Wen, 1 would
| iol De surprised at the seriousness OF
your eountenance If you have bean
| reading the speeches of noted men.
| relglon IN schools war, etc, and per.
maps after the heavy dinners.
Dld you read last Sundays Times, Cy-
s Ics ou made great mistake II you
uio not, Tor you might have been the
lucky man In the finding OF the Maltese
CIoSs, In which case, these lines would
not nave to be written.
SyruS. some time ago very pious min
lSter OF the gospel sold a pig to Uncle
6astus When Uncle Rastus paid for
me pig, ne asked for a receipt for the
money ne had paid. much to the surprise
OF the reverend gentleman. and upon his
inquiry why hA should require re-
ceipt from him. as he was a minister of
the gospel, Uncle Rastus replied: z"WeIl
Niassa Johnson, you might die, and I
might die, and when 1 got to Heavens
gate, I'd meet Peter, and he would saw
Don't you owe Massa johnson for 2
Fig And I'd say No. And he'd say,
Where Is your receipt9 Oar, now. Pse
got none. and l has TO go down and lock
all over HI to get a receipt
Good-by Cyrus, If there is anything
know
SJJBSCRIRER
The Washington times., 1905-03-26

There was once an Irishman riding
MAUD. a mEle. Maud, as usual was
hlcKfng her legs rather freely and finally
got ner hoof caught in the stirrup when
IN In, tne excitement, the IrishInan said
W Ell; begorra, If you want to ride. I'll
trusting. 70 hear from you favorablY in
the near future. beg to remain,
yours, very truly,
TIM BLANK.
IeH Cyrus that the business men of
washington are delighted with the ac-
ton OF Congress in refusing to repeal
the smoke ordinance"
Tell him that the slogan. IF Won cant
boost, don't knock" is refigiously OBJ
served at the meetings of the different
cltlZens associations.
IeiI nlm that you never have to wait
more th2n flve minutes for a car on the
Eleventh street line.
CLARENCE McCURDIE.
Whisper into Cyrus ear that Major
SyiVester'S trusty henchmen have not
despaired CT capturing Dorsey FouItz
without the aid Of q battery of artillery.
Ihen give him a couple of barrel hoops
10 prevent his sides from cracking.
HAWKSHAW.
The Washington times., 1905-03-26

To Cyrus say that a wireless message
from Urnskidoodle says that Washing
ton has abandoned the race for the cell
iar championship in the American
League. II this does not take. give him
laughing gas.
SEVENTH STREET,
The Washington times., 1905-03-26

hepeat thls poem to Cyrus:
odd Mother Songress
Went to Congress
10 get her poor babes Ideals,
But when she got home,
Back from her roam
She found only pains and saueaIs."
WILLIS SpIVIN6.
Tell Cyrus that the Administration
is absolutely sincere in its sannounce-
ment that all Federal officeholders who
nave served eight-year terms and have
good records, will not be removed.
JOHN MORTON
The Washington times., 1905-03-26

Show Cyrus a picture of Cassie Chad
wick and Carrie Nation singing My
FATHERS Teeth Were Filled With TIM
with Carrie carrying the air, and Cas-
sic carrying he tin-and everything eloo
away JOE DUTT.
The Washington times., 1905-03-26

To make Cyrus laugh 1 suggest that
you take two straws from broom,
sharpen the ends, hold one In each hand
and draw them gently around his nose.
across the upper lip, raising them and
again touching them gently to the nos
TITS, proceed around the mouth and
chin for a few minutes II this does not
bring a smile to the countenance OF
March "a. 1905.
The Washington times., 1905-03-26

Gloomy Cyrus.
Dear Sir: By nature sympathetic, my
Whole heart and soul was enlisted In
eountenance in The Times of the 18th
inst
Telling You a joke CT funny story,
cyrus, would only let a f1eeting ray of
sunshine in your life; so, IN Justice to
yourself and the world, I must go fur
ther and recommend something perna-
rent Therefore L submit TO you the
following:
4, h O. T. NJ, will give you a personal
guarantee that you will bs transformed
into a being that VIII relegate sunny
jim" to the time Of the dark ages, and
from the time you take such step your
friends viii behold on your coantenance
the smile that won't come Off
with best wishes for your cause, am
Yours TO command,
JAMES c. BASS,
12fo Twelfth street northwest
The Washington times., 1905-03-26

What do you think of reform move
inents in big cities?"
MORAL MIKE
Well, there is good money in it for
those who get in on the ground floor.
The Washington times., 1905-03-26

SEVENTH STREET.
The Washington times., 1905-03-26

What is necessary to become med
ical student?"