West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1905-12-28

If there is anyone back in old
Preston who are laboring under the
impression that my bed is bed Of
roses l wish to dispel that impress
sion. am seriously considering
the advisability of surrendering to
the Insurgents. The fight to retain
possession of the pies and save the
Dawson tax laws from the Insur-
gents has been a royal one, and for
time / dehantly stood my ground
with the chip on my shoulder. But
find that the Insurgents have many
excellent sharpshooters in their
army and it looks as though they
would knock the chip from my
shoulders. They have already
winged Maj. Elliott and put him
out of previcious activity in the
journalistic field. No one fought
more courageously and for better
cause.-The pies) than the Major
His eulogles and panegyrics on the
Machine through the medium of the
press and on the busting was all that
we could ask for. But those out
side the inner circle of the Machine
could never appreciate them. Be-
ing deprived of his News the Major
is compelled to do his stunts on the
side walks In competition with the
other takers who cure all the ills
that piemen are heir TO, and dem ou-
strate that a fool and his money is
soon parted.
A few excerpts from letters which
are pouring in on me will be all the
excuse l shall offer for my contem-
plated surrender to the Insurgents.
Oh, il could only hear from Gov.
Dawson ! But he must be too much
infatuated with South Africa to
write me.
Here is one from Fayette county
from one who has always been a
loyal and faithful follower of the
Machine. Hear him for the cause:
at affords me infinite pleasure to
inform you that you connot count
me among the hero worshippers of
the Machine from this time hence
forth and forever. To-day / cast
my fortunes with the Insurgents.
Tney are coming Father Abraham
forty thousand strong and will scoop
down upon you and the Machine
and immerse you in the Kanawha
which flows close by your abode.
You have fooled US too often on the
pretex that the Machine was work
ing for the good of the party You
have frosted the pies and left !
Us to chew polk root and shout
for the Machine. l have uttered
my last shout for the Machine. In
the future my voice shall be cult.
yated in condemnation of the Ma.
chine and your internal old fake tax
laws. Return TO Preston county
from whence you came and engage
in your natural vocation of raising
buckwheat. Do you comprehend
the meaning of my desertion ?"
Isurely do. 1t means>woe to the
Machine in FaYette. 1 can extract
no-milk or honey out of the above
affectionate and fare-the-we1l epis
tie. 1t strikes the vital spot from
which there is no escape. Probably
Elder Whetsell can suggest some
plan by which we can save the Fay.
ette man.
The next one which / submit fol
the perusal Of the piemen back in
Preston comes from Marion county
II was on the recommendation %
Bros. Lamar Powell, Charley Swis
her and Charley Shaw that we init
sted him into the secrets Of the Ma
chine and sent him spell to b,
used in behalfof the Machine and
our tax laws. We we're congratu
lating ourselves that with Bros
Powell and Shaw close at hand tc
prompt him that there would be nc
cause to regret our selection. Bu
his missive would indicate that h,
has been reading the Times and tn,
Index which has not been on boom
ing terms with us. Here is how the
Marion county man unburdens him
self:
"There's many a slip twixt th,
cup and the lip when the cherries ar,
ripe and the honey is new. Well
I've slipped the slip. The toni,
which you have been adminislern,
to me IS too bitter to yell on. Tn,
typewritten letters with your auto
graph Chinese signature which 20,
have been sending to me marked
confidential and appriang me tha
am the whole cheese and the only
man that can save you from destruc