Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1905-04-06
ODDLY NAMED TOWNS,
QUEER Tl1tEs THAT DOT THE MAPS
3. OF UNCLE SAM.
TLts Nom~mciattve. Peculiarly IL
+ Not coatined to Any One Pact of the
Country. hut Lends Itself Impair
tall, 10 An Sections,


| tall, 90 All Sections,
The names OF some towns I'm the Unit
ed States probably cause their Inhab-
itnhts considerable vexations when
away from home, Says the Chicago
Chronicle These MINES have certain
peculiar meanings In everyday talk and
Ms soon rs they are mentioned they are
Mpt to prompt troublesome questions
by fnninakers. For example. the man
from Alone. Ky. might have TO eN-
plain Ia Il stranger living In New, York
how he could do business II he were the
only lhhabitant and how The excise
laws were enforced IL the barkceper
the topper the policeman and the magis-
trate were all one and the same and In
case there We're more lhMu one perSpn
IN Alone IL all were bachelors and old
maids. CitlHens OF Lonely ~ c., and
Lonesome. Ky, would encounter much
the same sort VI questions. and all, ut
course, would finally he asked IL they
We're once Jersey commuters.
If II man hailed from Affinity, y. c..
he would naturally he supposed to he
married and his home life an unpunc-
tuated; chapter OF bliss. He. would be
expected To wear ns wide IL smile as the
citizen of Joy Or Happy, Tex. or Para
| disc, Colo. with temper rs subdued
NJ tho inhabitants OF Purity, Mimi.
what would lnppeu, however, IL the
man from Affinity should meet Il man
from Peace. Ala. would. indeed. he
problematIcal. They might, after the
n tx.as tar %h
merits OF their respective towns with
such aidor that al last these representa-
tives OF Peace and Affinity would come
10 blows. They might at last develop
an much lisrellsh for each other az the
citizens OF Cream. Wis. who should
chance to take dinner with citizen OF
Caviar \. j. On the other hand, they
might become M chuinniy as tile towns
men OF those three towns In the states
or Colorado, Oregon and West Virginia
which all bear the name OF Crook
Any one coming from Eye y. c.,
could hardly expect to Join the New
York police force and find things con.
genial il lie WAS II native OF Lax,
Ala.. or Blind Bay, La, OIL the COIL
trary, his duties as II metropolitan blue
coat might prove congenlal. If he said
| lie was from SOdum. o., he would most
likely be told that his own town must
need his services more. Ii he replied
that 1t didn't, he might be recommends
ed TO try to get position ia Pluto,
Miss.
Near the Greene river In Kentucky
and several miles south of Lewiston
there Is town by the name OF Pig.
1t has never been recorded In any his
toryjof the United States. whether the
| characteristics OF the people of Pig are
any different from those OF the people
Of Lamb. ILL.,. or Chckies. Pa. This Is
| certainly to he regretted 1t would
certainly be interesting to know IL the
worthy burgliers OF Pig are any more
happy and contented than other human
beings, whether they have such Ills ns
insomnia, nervous prostratlOn or mel
| nncholia; whether there is any sale In
/ Pig for apnetizers, and what the good
people do on Fridays.
Should Il woman from Big Foot.
Tex, or Antiquity, O.. advertise for
husband 1t ~ safe to say she would not
get al many answers as IL woman from
Beauty, w. Va. The man who hailed
from jug, Ala. might have more diff
fculty w being elected to the White
Ribbon society than his contemporary
from Dry Town. Gal. The native OF
Magic. Ala, would 10 doubt be wei
coined by certain Wall street officers
where Il citizen from Falrplay. Wis.
would find the door shut. Should the
woman from Alnmode, Ca. or Fash
Ion, ca, meet Il woman from Jays
| vile, o.. the two might get into sMch Il
CONTROVERSY Mt the end they would
both be believed to be natives Of Loon
eyville. ~ Y. The citizen Of Fossil,
Ore, unlike tile citizen OF Quick. Neb..
would no doubt feel very much ut
home In Philadelphia. and for much
the same reasons the representative OF
Fact. Kan, would find congenal at
mosphere in Boston. Vegelarians
should 20 to Grass. S. D..
Any one might think that Ice. Ca.
would becoma.n more popular summer
resort thnn He'll Hole, Colo A Jury
made up OF men half OF whom were
born IN Japan. Mo. and the other half
In Russia y. T.. would be pretty sure
" uASagfee..- At any rSte' iheS "ouiu
not call In nun from lingo. Tenn, for
a peacelnaker, Should the girl from
I.eapyear, Tenn. become dissatisfied
with things at home there IL little dan
ger OF her settling In Bachelor. Mich.
| Neither would the man from I.angor,
Mimi, think Of moving to Jump, o.
A man may travel from Dan TO Beer
sheba nowadays and think 1t very
shoft Journey. There is Dan in Ken
lucky and Beersheba over the line In
| Tennessee. Neither 10 the trip from