The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-09-03
washington Starr

speaking of raisin' babies" re-
marked the ndy-compiexioned per-
son, as the Chevy Chase car pulled out
from the lake the other morning, I've
got ali your mothers congress anec-
dotes beat to a FRAGILE
There's a tall cumbersome gentle
man livin' out my way that's been
a-struttin around Of late with his chess
puffed out so far he looked like pouter
pigeon, and just because he is the
father of four-weeks-old infant of the
masculine gender. If you listen to his
line OF eXaggerative conversation for
three minutes you'd think that baby of
his was the first one ever born in the
world. He thinks he is an odds-On
favorite in the paternal sweepstakes,
and he's always buttin' into the dis
cussion with some lurid tale concern
ing this diminutive son and heir.
"I vas comm out on the car with
him yesterday afternoon and asked him
what he was cRrryin' in a very sus-
picious looking bundle.
"'Only a few toys for my son. says
he with his nose pointin' through the
skylight and his chest bumpin' on the
back of the seat IN front of us. 1 like
to see the lad amuse himself"
well, sir, wouldn't that kind Of talk
make the curl come out of your back
hair? l allowed to him as his son must
bo something of an infant to be shootin
air rifles and rollin hoops with only
four weeks existence to his credit, but
he pulled UP some more until the con-
ductor had to come along and charge
him two fares. That was yesterday af-
ternoon. and last night l puts on my
Sunday-go-to-m eetin' toys and mean
ders around his way.
"'How are you? yells he from the
front piazza. Come up and shake hands
with my son. So l moseys up and rub
| bers around, half expectin' TO see the
progidy of North Chevy Chase playin'
tennis on the tennis court. Well. sir,
! he took me over to a basket under a
| tree, and. says, he, What do you think
| of that?'
Now, if he hadn't a-talked so much
about that baby would a-been agree
ably surprised, because the youngster
| is dom fine, considerin' the length of
time he has been on earth. But l ex-
| pected to see somethin' three feet high,
| diked out in overalls and carryin a
nick over his shoulder. To tell the
| truth I was disappointed. That baby
amt bit different from what my two
boys used TO be at his age.
| ST sat around for a few minutes and
along come some of his kinfolEs and
! the tall cumbersome gent strutted a
| few and emitted the same line of con-
versation with which he had enter
| tanned me that afternoon. 1t was a
weary half hour for me. but l hung
on TO await Developments as i over
heard the progidy's mother say it was
time the son and heir was in bed. There
| is always somethin' dom. when the
four-weeks- first born is put to bed
by its fond parents. / know because
/ have been there myself.
- think I'll put Bill to bed, says
| the mother. Now, Bib, amt the boy S
name at all, seem as he is named after
his chesty dad. but the dads name Is
sort o. high-falutin'. and nobody could
apply il to the infant and keep a
straight face at the same time. SO
everybody calls him Bill, for short.
/ Well. sir when the little mother says
she would put the boy TO bed, up
| Jumps the young fathers mother-in-
law.
No. let me put him TO bed.' says
she. and saw the fun was on. The dis
tressin' Alphonso and CASTOR dialogue
was carried on until the mother-in-law
gave up in DESPAIR. The tall cumber-
some gent and his wife waltzed off, the
former earryin' the prodigy under MS
arm. The prodigy has fine pair OF
lungs, and as soon as the caravan
started for the bed he loosened up and
well. you couldn't hear the electric
car when il went by the front gate The