The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-23
HVM0R OF TIE ply

HUMOR OF TIE DAY
Church-Which side of the Equitable
Geothan1-on the outside. thank goodness.
-fonkers Statesman.
Miss Passay-so she's TWENTY-FIVE today,
| guess It would surprise you if I should
le 1[,l neI t. l was the he, same age
of course.
Miss Passay-That am twenty-five?
MSS Fepprey-No; that you were.-Phil-
ra Mamma, if papa can swear. why can't
My dear. it-that Is the same rules
don't apply to you both"
But we are both living with you
ChoIly--Yaas. was only looking for an
Cholly-she yawned.-New York Sun.
DO you think the Panama canal viii
...HE53a .,SIiyg However"
I think it may possibly be begun by
that tin1e.'-Louisville Courier-Journal.
osoph-There's no use crying over
Dittow-No, there's probably enough wa
How do you regard the last movement
IT doesn't cause me any uneasiness,''
said Senator Sorghum. a political move
middle of the track and try to stop it. it
VIII 90 damage. But it is all right for
me man who will wait for It to come
alongside SO that he can get aboard. -
| washington Star.
Mr.. Bluffer-xvhy are you buying two
new trunks? You haven't clothes enough
to fill them.
Mrs. BIuffer-I know it. but I'm going
to take them along just the same If
oon { nave a long string of baggage
won't make any Impression at All when I
arrive at the hotel.-Detroit Free Press
He-P2sorsey talks like a woman.
She-What's that?
Helm such a continuously entertaining
manner.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
| Waggsby-You say your wife's mind was
affected by the loss of your fortune?
Naggsby-Yes; she lost her unreasona-
bleness under the strain.-Chicago News.
How. did. you get those chickens the
oTIlcer found in your possession sternly
stammered Unc' Gabe
Tell me the truth
Oats right, y'r honor" persisted Unc'
Gabe; Il reached down froo a hole in de
| roof. Chicago Tribune.
Grinnand Barrett-Hamfatter has Just
1 bought a farm.
! E. Forest Frost-Does he know anything
about farming
Grinnand Barrett-Lord, yes! WHY. he
I played in The Old Homestead and way
Down East for years.-Puck.
The energy I do commend
Doth hns{ie around to I0T Tais s es
| That wife may get the ocean breeze
New Orleans Tines-Democrat.
Or Bronson. your bill actually makes
my blood. boil.
Then, madame. I must charge you SIS
more for sterilizing your system Life.
Bella-Prof 1Tuggins tells me that the
first principle Of socialism is to divide with
Tom-Not as I understand it. On the
contrary, the first principle of socialism
is to induce your fellow man to divide
with you.-Puck.
Mrs Won Blumer-We can't get any
guests to stay here with that new but
Won Blumer-why. thought he was
Mrs. Won Blumer-He is. That's the
/ trouble. No one dares give him a tip of
less than s1O.-Life.
whats Lawson doing these days?"
/ Lawson, Lawson Name seems familiar.
| Say, what league is he playing with?'-
Judge.
Hes comparatively rich, isn't he?"
mo; only relatively so. It's his people
who have the money. '-Philadelphia Led
ger.
Shells your wife's name very dear to
He-very. Every dollar I owned before
we were married is in it.-Detroit Free
Press.
They say it was. a pure love match be-
| tween the duke and the heiress."
Yes, it was. She was in love with his
title and he was in love with her money
brooklyn Life.
Settlement worker-what well behav-
ed little boy he Isl
natural, mum; his poor father never failed
to have a sentence reduced OWN to good
behavior.-Puck.
He-Of course there's a big. difference
between a botanist and florist.
Shells there. really?
all about flowers and florist is one who
knows all about the prices people pay
Philadelphia Press.
The Rocky Mountain bear .grinned. Il
certainly do miss Roosevelt he replied.
peering from behind a boulder.
And why do you?'' asked the lean bob
''Oh, I guess it's because he happened
to miss me when he was here. Chicago
Daily News.
Mr.. SIimsky-I don't believe the city wa
ter is safe I notice it has a cloudy ap-
pearance this morning and tastes sort Of
nlilky-and-
Mrs Starvem-That glass contains milk,
Mr.. Slimszy; the water is at your left.
And, by the way, your board bill was due
Observation-Disclosures Leader.
Nell-You'd better come to choir rehearsal
tonight.
Belief can't.
Neii-Youd better. We're going to try a
new hymn tonight.
BeIie-so am I going to try a new him.
That's why I can't ccTne.--Philadelphia
Ledger.
Take my advice, young man, and keen 1
away from Wall street"
sI'n obliged to- answered Mr. Candy
Dunno Since my last venture in stocks
I haven't car fare to get there. WASH
ington Star.
Stranger am surprised at the extreme
politeness and consideration with which