davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21
Should Eliminate Politics.

From the Admission Hot Blast.
The sooner the canal is built the better
satisfied the American people will be. 1t
is a big business proposition and politics
should be entirely eliminated from the
undertaking.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21
A Sucker.

From the Florence Herald
An exchange says that man in St.
Louis recently caught a catfish that had
a $40 gold piece In its stomach. That 3
nothing, Elipah Dowie has just caught
a sucker in Iowa who had $4,000 in the
bank.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

The autoist and the farmer are getting
together at last. The son of David r.
Francis has just whipped rustic near
st. Louis who got mad because his horse
was frightened.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

We are reliably informed that a mon
ster cat fish in Swan Lake, near Decatur,
Ala, bit off the stock of a fisherman's
shotgun while he was seated In c boat
and then whisked away to the bottom
Alabama catfish have always been re-
nowned for their enterprise but they have
never hitherto been credited with an APP
petite for firearms OF course the Swan
Lake INCIDENT was related by a ''promi-
nent citizen of unimpeachable veracity."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21
ALABAMA PRESS
Knocking Mrs. Wigs.

From the TalladegaA Reporter.
There are fool things, and fool things;
but the biggest fool thing that ever at
tracted the public attention is Mrs.
Wigs of the Cabbage Patch"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

John Kendrick Bangs has resigned the
editorship of Puck in order to write
musical comedies. j desires to follow
in George AIDES footsteps, and become a
nlutocrat.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

Mr.. Charles schwab is hurrying home
to gather In Panama contracts, which
so 1t was planned. We're to be richer thar
Russian contracts. The best laid plans
you know the rest.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

Social note: Mr.. Louis P. Ohliger has
arrived in Columbus, Ohio. where he will
spend eight years in the government
hotel. Mr. 0hliger will not have apart
ments in Bankers Row for the pres
ent. as that popular residence district is
already over-erowded.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

Administrations protest against high
trust-made prices. He is tie apostle OF
high prices for plain Americans. They
should in his philosophy be bled to the
limit.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

1t is related that the nephew of Vice
President Fairbanks led revolt at
prep school of the University of Chi
cago because the youngsters were served
with prunes as dessert 1t is surprising to
learn that scion of the Fairbanks fam
lily can display such spirit. not to say
deyiltry. Mr.. Fairbanks himself resem-
bles nothing so much as a frequenter of
a hash establishment who has submitted
to a prune diet for many years.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

Fromsthe Brewton Standard Guage.
What are the rich in America doing to-
day." asks the Boston Globe. We do not
think it necessary to reveal our plans
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

There may have been a malicious sng-
gestion in the fact that the fire depart
ment was summoned to witness the death
of New York man. Hose lines may be
needed where he has gone.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21
Awful Thirst.

From the Scottsboro Citizen.
Our liquor bill is one billion dollars per
annum," says the Atlanta Constitution.
The Constitution should swear off.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21
SOUTHERN cHlvALRY.

From the Kansas City Times.
with genuine southern chivalry the New
Orleans Times-Democrats refers to her as
..Missn Patterson,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21
Rad Combination

From the Dothan Strings.
A cheap pistol, cheap bottle of liquor,
handled by a cheap man may cause ex-
pensive trouble.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

The Chicago traction companies an
nounce that they will place no obstacle
In the way of municipal ownership and
stand ready to sell their properties. Nat
to do.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

The Panama canal has exposed Ding
leyism so that even the thickest-headed
consummer can see the nature of the
scheme of the national brigands.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

A former Ohio banker who Is under in
dictment for misapplying the funds of his
institution is now working in a billiard
room in Cleveland. He ought to thank
his lucky stars that he is not breaking
rock in the state penitentiary.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

The question has been asked whether
Gage e. Tarbel earns his salary of $4,000
a year for the policyholders of the Hlui-
table Life Assurance society or someone
earns It for himself.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21
SIISPENsE IS AWFIII.

OF course we don't desire a fight
Where many will be slain,
But waiting for the fleets to clash
Imparts to us a pain.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

One life has become such an expensive
proposition these days it is no wonder
that individuals who try to lead double
lives make the attempt with other peo-
pies money
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21
Colonel Bush Returns.

81 do not think that the senate COM
nittee will report the Esch-Townsend bill
favorably and do not believe that 1t will
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21
Why He Jumps.

From the Florence Herald.
The frog jumps for a purpose and a
fly.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21
THE LIMIT,

Let the heavens tumble down.
The whirling earth be still.
The public has been introduced
To frenzied vaudeville.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

It is now thought Judge Davis INDUCED
in vodka before he made his Nan Pat.
terson speech.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21
GIVES HIMSELF AWAY.

The man who Is shallow ass
Was never known to know 1t,
But let him wag his tongue a bit
And he'll contriye to show it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

OUTDISTANCED

You've heard it said that money talks,
But it's not in the class
With the man who at banquet board
Looks oft into his glass.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

When Nan Patterson begins her engage
ment you may rest assured that she will
be provided with the proper Scenery"
Dame Rumor has it that ne,er were such
gowns seen before-in vaudeville-as Nan
will wear.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

The Russian courtmartial that tried
General stoessel practically decided that
the Japanese were guilty.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

Hiram cronk knew how to escane
osler's bottle at any rate He fought at
saekets Harbor, and ever afterwards
up to last week he fought Old Father
Time
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

The seottsboro Citizen speaks of the
Hon. Samuel Blackwell as the game
cock of North Alabama democracy" It
is about time for the Hon. sam to crow.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

When John J.. Sullivan and Charles
Mitchell have their fistic bout Father
Time ought to be the referee.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

Uncle Sam believes imam. open shop as
well as an open door
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

An Ohio man died from eating his hat.
A stewed Panama ought not to be much
more harmful than breakfast food.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

President Roosevelt paid his own ex-
penses when he went a-hnnting. and his
big game cost him about four thousand
dollars
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21
TANKED.

There was man in Troy
Who felt brim full of joy,
But at 3 a. m.
He thought d. a. m.
And longed for breeches buoy.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

A Kentucky mother-in-law has been
forced to pay $1,000 damages for alternating
the affections Of her son from his Wife
It looks as if the worm has turned at
3aat
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

IT begins to look as if Johann Hocl
has married for the last time.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

New York city gave Hiram cronk's
body public burial and fifty thousand
took a last look at the old veteran of
the war of 1872
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

Secretary Taft says we do not want a
Panama canal at trust prices.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

should bear chloroform battle in ram
pant.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

Nan Patterson will begin her elevation
task at the vaudeville stage, which
greatly needs cIeanIng-up day.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

Dingleyism fortunately for Uncle Sam,
Is not international 1t International
for the good of campaign subscribers
only
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

Rojestyensky shifts from one bay to
another in Indo-China. for decencys
sake.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

A bid of $4,000 has been made for Ale
Chadwick home. Mrs. Chadwick has no
use for the structure at present.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

The cotton seed crushe-s also demand
tariff revision. Dingleyism and the gray
wolves are up against 1t.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

Maybe after all this black imp" that
Is figuring SO extensively In the Wood
murder trial Is nothing but the devil.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

Secretary Taft Is keeping his eye stead
lily fixed ON 1908. He has fairly won the
inside track.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

The college professor of the period has
driven the politician out of the epigram
business.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

wealthy woman In New York saws she
expects to rejoin her pug dog after death.
1t is a question whether she believes she
will go to heaven or the other place.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

coney Island has censor now and it
is believed that he will have much to do.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

The cheap Raffles who stole 40 silver
dimes from an Indiana family may be a
captain of crime some day but he has a
long way to go
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

DR. osler thinks we'll of Gotham, so far
as Its attitude toward consumption Is
concerned
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

Admiral Birilen>s says there will be plenty
for him and Admiral Rojestvensky to
do. You bet there will-they will have
to do Togo.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

The administration is trying the case
of Bowen versus Loomis in its closest
star chamber
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

Mayor Ward should name cleaning
up day. and ask all good citizens to OBJ
serve 1t.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

Mayor James I. Woodward of Atlanta
does not seem to have been favorably Inn
pressed with the national manufacturers
association, which has just closed a con-
vention in the Georgia capital Mr. Wood
ward is of the opinion that the organza-
ton did nothing but devise and discuss
means to antagenize organized labor. Fur
thermore he thinks it significant that
out of a total membership of 5000 only
800 were in attendance on the convention.
The public is never in the dark as regards
Mayor Woodward's views.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21
SURE ENOUGH ENNUI.

You've heard about the lazy man
Who was too tired to die
And when confronted with a job
Refused it with a sigh;
But he's not in the class with him.
He was past all endurance
Who simply said he was too tired
To carry life insurance.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

Senator Morgan never did think well of
the Panama canal.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

Mr. Rockefeller announces that he does
not contemplate giving s10,O0o.oo0 to estab-
fish a pension fund for retired clergymen
lat this time" The Standard Oil magnate
might go far and not find a more worthy
object for his charity. Verify, the preach
ers need the money.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

Pity those only who are shut within
the tariff wall
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

The reasons easy to explain
When troubles come, / wis,
For a miss is oft responsible
When something goes amiss.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21
A HEAVYWEIGHT

A HEAVYWEIGHT.
There is an old lady In Brewster
Who can't dance as she useter.
She fell down one might
In fearful plight,
And ii took the crowd to booster.
In one of his inimitable speeches before
the Periodical Publishers association at
Lakewood. N. j. George AIDE listed the
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-05-21

up to last week he fought Old Father
Time.
A Kentucky mother-in-law has been
forced to pay $1,000 damages for alternating
the affections Of her son from his WIFE
It looks as if the worm has turned at
last
The seottsboro Citizen speaks of the
Hon. Samuel Blackwell as the game
cock of North Alabama democracy It
is about time for the Hon. Sam to crow.
--==--.s.---
A wealthy woman In New York says she
expects to rejoin her pug dog after death.
1t is a question whether she believes she
viii 20 to heaven or the other place.
New York city gave Hiram cronk.s
body public bufial,s and nifty thousand
took last look at the old veteran of
the war of 1872
The cheap Raffles who stole 40 silver
dimes from an Indiana family may be a
captain of crime some day but he has a
long way to go
Admiral Blrileff says there will be plenty
for him and Admiral Rojestvensky to
1870
no. You bet there wiil-they will have
to do Togo
---..--
isooseYei' pau iis o"h ca
nanses whom he went a-h1lnttpp and HE
big game cost him about four thousand
ao,Iars
----...--
Dingleyism fortunately for Uncle Sam,
ie NOT International II aforementioned
=.
Polk County observer. (Monmouth, Polk County, Or.) 1888-1927, 1905-01-13
PIONEER WOMAN DIES
fIrs. J. g. Toner, Former Resident
of Polk County, Dies at
McMinnVlIIe.

Mrs. John G.. Toner died in Nc.
Minnville, on Sunday, January 8
1905, at the advanced age Of 81 years
The remains were taken to ClackamaF
county for burial, the funeral being
held in Oregon City, Tuesday.
Mrs. Toner came to Oregon from
Illinois in 1852, and settled in Oregon
City. In 1875, the family moved tC
Lincoln, Polk county, where they
lived for many years. About a yeal
ago Mr.. and Mrs. Toner moved tc
McMinnville.
Mrs. Toner was an honored pioneer
of Oregon, and was held in the highest
esteem by all who knew her. She was
good mother and a kind neighbor,
being ever charitable to the poor and
afflicted. During their many years
residence in Polk county, no people
were more highly respected than
Uncle John Toner and wife.
She leaves an aged husband; one
daughter, Mrs. Pleasant Wright, Of
McMinnville; two sons, Fred Toner
and Will Toner, the former being
deputy Postmaster at Dallas, and the
latter living at Yaquina City, Oregon.
Polk County observer. (Monmouth, Polk County, Or.) 1888-1927, 1905-01-13

The bill to be introduced in the Ore
gon Legislature early in the session
providing for the publication Of the
county assessment rolls is meritori-
Gus measure, and deserves the vote OF
every member OF the law-making
body. The bill has the unanimous
endorsement OF the Oregon Press
Association, and will be the first law
ever asked by the newspaper men Of
the state. The publication Of the
county assessment rolls has proved
highly satisfactory to the taxpayers
In the states where the plan has been
given trial, and will prove OF like
value in Oregon, if adopted. The
Albany Herald puts the whole matter
In a nutshell when it says: 1.-THE
newspaper men who are advocating
the use Of more advertising space in
the matter of the assessment rolls, are
suggesting business proposition to
the Legislature. Where the rolls are
published, the county saves more by
many hundred per cent than the cost
Property evading taxation is brought
before the assessor Improper values
find adjustment. The idea is good
business and according to modern
methods and action should be taken
by the Legislature towards the ends
mentioned"
Polk County observer. (Monmouth, Polk County, Or.) 1888-1927, 1905-01-13
ALLEGED FORGER CAUGHT
o. J. Morgan, Accused of Raising
Check, Occupies Cell in Polk
County Jail.

Orial J. Morgan was arrested in
Portland last Friday on a charge of
forgery and was later brought to
Dallas and lodged in the county jail.
Morgan is accused Of raising" a
check given him by Clark Hembree,
of Monmouth, in payment of wages.
A preliminary hearing was held in
Justice Wilson's court in Inde-
pendence, Saturday, and the prisoner
was committed to the county bastile to
await the action Of the Circuit Court
Morgan was employed until recently
as laborer on Hembree' s farm south
west of Monmouth, and was given a
check for 1926 in final payment of
wages due him. 1t is alleged that
Morgan raised this check to $I8.25
and after drawing the money on it,
skipped out of the county. The prisoner
is "a years old, and, prior to this
trouble, was looked upon as an
honorable, straightforward man.
Polk County observer. (Monmouth, Polk County, Or.) 1888-1927, 1905-01-13
Fee Is Messenger.

Oregon's four Presidential electors
met at the State Capital, Monday, and
cast their ballots for Theodore Roose-
velt. Judge James A. Fee, of Pendle-
ton, will carry the record of the ballot
to Washington. The electors are
Judge Fee, A. @. Hough, J. N. Hart
and G B. Dimick. All but Mr.
Dimick desired the honor of going to
Washington, and for several hours
they were in a deadlock as to the
method of choosing a messenger.
Finally the matter was decided by lot
Mr.. Dimick drew the lucky slip and
yielded it to Judge Fee. The messen-
ger will receive compensation in the
shape of mileage-twenty-five cents a
mile to and from Washington-which
will amount to several hundred
dollars.
Polk County observer. (Monmouth, Polk County, Or.) 1888-1927, 1905-01-13
7.1.1.A..s+s+4o+O+S+S+O|S:
+: BUSINESS LOCALS. !:

For a god job of wagon Iep"'i'"e'
90 to N. HUGHES, Dallas, VI
Dr. Hayter, Dentist once oo,, oooi
wilson's Drug Store. Dallas oregon
One Of the best horse-shoers IN 'he
s+ote will be found working at Wagner
Bros. shop. Give him trial ana DC
convinced.
Go and see those fine bath TUBS
oirks and layatories at Wagner Bros
A arst-class plumber is in their en-
n1ov and will satisfactorily do your
work.
Wagner Brothers invite you to call
and inspect their stock Of bath-tuDs'
sinks. toilets, etc, as they now carry
the largest stock on the West SIDE. |.
They have engaged the services OF d
first-class plumber. and would De
pleased to call and figure with you on
any work you may have in the way Oh
water pipes or plumbing of any klno
for YOUR house, store or office. line
finest and most skiIlful work guaran-
teed.
Polk County observer. (Monmouth, Polk County, Or.) 1888-1927, 1905-01-13
FREE EXCHANGE GRANTED.

Subscribers of the Pacific States
Telephone Company in Dallas, Inde-
pendence and Monmouth will here
after be permitted to talk to each other
without charge, free switching privi-
leges having been granted Wednes'
day. This service is free to subscribers
only. If you wish to talk to a sub
scriber in your neighbor town, call
the central Office Of that town, through
your own central Office, and your
phone will at once be connected with
the person to whom you wish to talk.
The new three-town exchange has
been greatly desired for many years,
and it's installation marks an import
ant step in the development Of the
business interests Of Polk county. The
generous and progressive action OF
the telephone company is deeply
appreciated by every patron in Dallas,
Independence and Monmouth and on
the connecting farmer lines.
Polk County observer. (Monmouth, Polk County, Or.) 1888-1927, 1905-01-13

The Times says that since the
saloons were closed in Corvallis, the
local druggists have had a great run
on the sale Of "bitters." Every drug,
gist in town sold bitters without
reserve until Monday OF this week,
when they were summoned before the
District Attorney and warned against
continuing the sale OF intoxicants OF
any kind. "You may go now; but
don't sell any more bitters, or I'll put
you through" cautioned the prose.
cutting officer, and the crestfallen pill.
mixers filed out of the Office, cussing
their luck as they went.
Polk County observer. (Monmouth, Polk County, Or.) 1888-1927, 1905-01-13

The Southern Pacific Company has
ordered new gasoline motor car for
experiment on the West Side line,
from Portland to Forest Grove. II
will have capacity of so people, and
will be capable of running at a high
rate of speed. No cars Of this kind
are in use in the United States at the
present time, but are said to be sue.
cessfully operated in portions oi
Europe. II the experiment meets the
expectation OF its promoters, it will
revolutionize the railway passenger
traffic in Oregon.
Polk County observer. (Monmouth, Polk County, Or.) 1888-1927, 1905-01-13

W. W. Banks, surveyor for the
Board of Fire Underwriters, who has
been re-rating the business and resi-.
dence property in Dallas, completed
his work yesterday afternoon. The
reduction in rates on the various
classes of property will range from IL
to 80 per cent. Mr.. Banks says that
the city will save about 5000 in
premiums each year, with the present
system Of waterworks. The new rate
book will be out in about two weeks.
The present reduction will affect all
policies written after July 81, 1904, the
date when the waterworks were ac-
cepted by the city.