The San Francisco call., 1905-02-12

AC-a tfcS A-A 1Aae dlA0 fe11 @
go,cen half-hour between the time
he shu. down steam and washed up
that J coveted.
] fou.G lAiri.Sy resting. -gith his pipe
lit. snl4t-.aced and blue oyeralled.
'"Tis fair afternoon" said, but
bids 10 be colder"
Did j ever tell you" began Kirksy
honorao Y. about the time Henry
,Horsecol!ar and me took a phcno-
graph to South America p" and ] felt
ashamed cf my subterfuge, and drop
ped in-9 The wooden chair he kicked
toward re
''Henly was a quarter-bree quar-
ter-bac6 Cherokee, educated East IN
the idioms Of football and Nest in con-
trabard y hisky, and gentleman.
same ss YOU or ne. He was easy and
rompfag in his ways; man about
six foot. with 4 kind OF rubber tire
movement
Hen ard me met - Texarkana
and Inquired cut this phonograph
schemc. He had $3.50 which came 10
him out Il q land allotment in the res
ervation. / had run down from
Little kock on account Of a distressful
scene ! had witnessed on the street
there. = man stood On a box and
passed around some gold watches.
screw case. stem winders, Elgin move
ment, very elegant. Twenty bucks
they cost you over the counter. At S3
the crowd night for the tickets. The
man happened 10 und valise full of
them handy, and he passed them out
like putting hot biscuits on a plate.
The backs were hard 10 ,sascrew, but
the crowd put its ear 10 the case and
,,-I escfa IL
Three OF those watches we're genuine
tickets. but the rest, they were only
kickers.
Hey? Why, empty cases with one
Of them horny black bugs that fly
around electric lights in 'em. Them
bugs kick off minutes and seconds in
dustrious and beautiful The man i was
speaking Of cleaned UP s2Ss, and went
away because he knew that when il
came to wind watches in Little Rock
an entomologist would be needed, and
he wasn't one.
$50, as ] say, Henry had $3.50 and
had S2SS. The phonograph idea was
Henry's but I took to it freely. being
fond OF machinery Of all kinds.
We bought a fine phonograph. in
Texarkana-one Of the best make-and
half q trunkful Of records. We packed
up and took the T. and p for New Or
leans. From that celebrated center Of
molasses and disfranchised coon songs
We took a steamer for-yes, / think it
was South America or Mexico-I am
full of inability to divulge the location
of tits on the rural delivery route,
It's colored yellow on the map and
branded with the literature of cigar
boxes.
We landed on a smiling coast at a
town they denounced by the name, as
near as can recOllect, of Sore-toe-kan-
garOo. Twas a palatable enough place
to look at The houses were clean and
white, sticking about among the seem
cry like hard boiled eggs served with
lettuce. There was a block Of sky
scraper mountains in the suburbs, and
they kept pretty quiet, like they were
laying one finger on their lips and
watching the town. And the sea was
remarking "Sh-sh-sh" on the beach;
and now and then a ripe cocoanut
would fall kerDlip in the sand, and that
was ali there was doing.
The CAPTAIN went ashore with US
and offered 10 conduct what he seemed
20 like 10 call the obsequies. He intro
duced Henry and me to the United
States Consul. and a roam man, the
head Of lhe department of mercenary
and licehtious disposition, the way 1t
read upon his sign.
II touch here again a week from to-
day says The captain.
by hat time we told him. well
be anassing wealth in the interior
towns With cur galvanized prima
donna and correct limitations of Sou
sa's Band es-cavating = march from
tin mine
"'YeIl rot says the captain. Yen
be hypAotized. ANY gentleman in the
audience who kindly steps upon the
stage and looks this country in the
eye viii DC converted TO the hypothe
sis that he's but 4 fly in the Elgin
creamery. Yell be standing knee deep
in the surf waiting for me, and your
machine Tor making Hamburger steak
out ol the hitherto respected art of
music Will be playing There's no
place lii-c home"
Henry skinned u twenty of his
roll and received from the Bureau of
Mercenary Dispositions a paper bear
ing red seai and a dialect story, and
no change.
Then We got the Consul full of red
wine and struck him for a horoscope
He was q thin, youngish kind of
man, ] should say past so, sort of
Frenoh-Irish. In his affections, and
puffed uD with disconsolation. Yes,
he was 4 flattened kind of a man. in
whom drink lay stagnant. inclined to
corpulence and misery. Yes. I think
he was 4 kind OF Dutchman, being
very SAD and genial in his ways.
The marvellous invention he says,
entitled the 9honograph, has never
before invaded these shores. The peo-
pie have never heard it. They would
not believe it if they should Simple
hearted children of nature, progress
has never condemned them to accept
the work of a can opener as an over
ture. and rag-tine might incite them
10 bloody revolution. But you can
try the experiment. The best chance
you have is that the populace may not
wake up when YOU play. There's two
ways. says the Consul, they may take
It. They may become inebriated with
attention. like an Atlanta colonel, list
ening 10 Marching Through Geor-
gia," or they will get excited and
transpose the key of the music with
an AK and yourselves into a dungeon.
In the latter case says the Consul
III do my duty by cabling to the
State Department, and Til wrap the
Stars and Stripes around you when
you come to be shot. and threaten
them with the vengeance Of the great
est gold export and financial reserve
nation on earth. The flag is full of
bullet holes now says the Consul,
made in that way. Twice before ,