Elk City mining news. (Elk City, Idaho) 1903-1913, 1905-03-25
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Husband-You are always looking
for bargains Was there ever a time
when you wasn't a bargain huntedi
Wife-Yes, dear; when l married you.
Scissors.
Mrs. Chatterson-It was such
relief to have my husband fail. Mrs.
Chipway-How so? "Oh, | was "a
afraid we would have to pay all those
bills."-Life.
Parent (angrily)-Those 'schop
shoes l bought here for my boy did
not last two weeks. Dealer with scr
prise)-He must have been wearing
them out of ashington Life.
Teacher Gn spelling class)-Johnny,
spell fail" JOHNNY can't. Teach
er-You can't spell that simple word?
Why not? Johnny-'Cause you told
me there was no such word as fail
New Yorker
Pansy (who n;oys having her moth
er read to her)-Wead some more,
mamma. Mamma cannot, dear; my
eyes are too tired. Pansy with fine
New York Times.
Us your husband up YETI" inquired
the early morning caller. Il guess he
is" replied the stern-looking woman.
I'D like to say a few words to him"
$50 would 1. He hasn't come home
yet."-Catholic Standard.
Ernestine-I don't see why your
chaperon should have been offended
because Jack played the piano. 1t was
certainly better than lovemaking.
Moyrtila-Yes, but he insisted upon
playing Always in the Way."-Chi-
cago News.
Toni don't see you automobiling
with Miss Giddyun any more. Jack
No; | weighed her in the balance and
found her wanting. Tom-Wanting
the parson with me, for one thing
Chicago News
Little Johnnie-When Miss NeXtdoor
got married, her mother threw an old
slipper after her. What was that for?
Little Ethel-Oh, they always do that.
That means that her mamma isn't
never going to spank her any more
Smiths Weekly.
s.rrh;s. s-;-l 1-sAsi---> asso,~r
me old before my time" 'Bothers you
too, does it?' Indeed 1t does. If
have an ugly maid my husband is
away all the time, and if l have
pretty one he is at home all the time,
and l daren't go away; so there it is"
Houston Post.
Mrs Woodby-You don't mean to
say you paid my milliner's bill today!
Mr. Woodby-Of course. The bill
reached me yesterday, and l thought
the milliner might need the money,
So Mrs Woodby-Simpletonl How
do you expect us to be considered real
swell if we pay our bills promptly
Philadelphia Ledger.
Maude-Did you read that magazine
article in which a physician advocates
yawning as a means of stopping the
disagreeable buzzing in ones ears?
Clara-Yes and he is right, too. l
tried it on young Borum the other
evening after he had talked continu-
ously for an hour or more. and he
took the hint and left.-Chicago Daily
News.
The following notice was recently
found tackled on the door of a church:
There will be preaching in this house
week from next Wednesday. Provi-
dence permittin', and there will be
preaching whether or 10 on Monday
following upon the subject He that
believeth and is baptized shall be
saved and he that believeth not shall
be damned at 8 80 in the afternoon
Clinton Mo) Herald.
A travelling man who drove across
the country to little town in western
Kansas the other day met a farmer
hauling wagon-load of water
"Where do you get water?' he asked.
up the road about seven miles," the
farmer replied. And you haul water
seven miles for your family and
stock?" yep" "Why in the name
of sense don't you dig a well?" asked
the traveller. Because it is just as
far one way as the other, stranger"
Denver Republican.
Mrs. Potts was filed with nervous
alarms whenever she travelled, and Mr..
Potts always had his hands full in
trying to quiet and reassure her. cal
gernon," said Mrs. Potts, Weakening
her husband from a sound sleep in a
southern railway car. "Algernonl
want you to find out why we are going
a. chic arft1l cpaad Tho oor &c bum,