davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lamar register., 1905-08-30
Forms of Express
sion that Appear Vastly ANUS
ing to the Listener Belonging
to the Old World.

Very curious are some of the rules
of etiquette observed by Chinaman.
Emile Bard. who has written n book
on the subject of Chinese life, says
that in nine cases out of ten. however.
the form of etiquette has replaced the
substance. With the Chinese a refusal
or unpleasant truth must be expressed
evasively. II a Chinaman does not
wish to accommodate friend he
never gives the true reason for his
refusal: that would be discourteous.
He lies politely. The ceremonious
forms of expression used in ordinary
conversation seem very amusing to
the European listener. 1t is fixed
rule that one must speak of himself
and of all belonging to him in the
humblest of terms and use the most
exalted language in referring to the
person or property of another.
Whether two mandarins or two beg
gars meet and accost each others this
is a sample of their conversation:
What is your honorable name?"
Your insignificant brothers name is
Wang" Where is your noble dwell
ing?" "The hovel in which | hide
myself is in -" designating the
The Lamar register., 1905-08-30
Birds, Miarations at NIGHT.

The migration of birds to warmer
climate at the approach of winter and
their return to their usual haunts
when cold weather is past, is mostly
performed at night, and nearly always
on clear nights.
Only a comparatively few species.
such as ducks. cranes, certain large
hawks, swallows. swifts and night
hawks. migrate during the daytime,
and these, it will be observed, are
either rapacious birds or mainly those
that enjoy such power of rapid fight
as to be relatively safe from injury or
capture. All the vast hordes of warb-
lers, sparrows. finches, fiycatchers,
thrushes and woodpeckers, as well as
many waders and swimmers. migrate
at night. On clear. still nights during
the migrations birds may often be
heard to calling to each other high
overhead, and may actually be seen by
powerful telescopes.
Woods and hedgerows that were I'M
tenanted one day may become alive
with birds at daylight the next morn
ing. showing that they have arrived
during the night. They remain to feed
aud rest during the day and. II the
The Lamar register., 1905-08-30
A Window Tent,

medical journal describes a win
dow tent devised for the open air
treatment of tuberculosis. 1t consists
of frame to fit the lower half of the
window, to which is attached inside
the window an awning of waterproof
duck, stretched in a quarter-circle. The
bed is placed parallel with the win
dow, so that the invalid's head and
shoulders are within the awning. en-.
trance being made through flap in
the side of the tent. The lower edges
of the duck at the head and side of
the bed are long enough to tuck under
the mattress, and thus air from the
room is thoroughly excluded. The
frame of the tent does not quite fill
the lower half of the window; for the
escape of warm air from the room
there is left a space of three inches.
which can be reduced at will For
protection from storms the roof of the
tent projects slightly beyond the win
dow. and roller blind is placed inside
the window.
The Lamar register., 1905-08-30
The Starvation Cure.

starvation as n means of cure is by
no means new idea. II is very old.
Most good things are old, and things
altogether new are seldom good. Very
few original discoveries are made now.
adays.
Long fasting is one of the most eff.
fective means of securing thorough CO.
ing constitutional reconstruction. 1t
compels the body to feed upon itself.
In the rebuilding, defects may be left
out, and healthy conditions may be
re-established.
But this result may be secured by
other and generally safer means. It
is not so much the Withholding of
food, but of certain elements of food.
which secures the benefits of fasting.
1t is the proteids, from which the sys.
TEN in diseased condition manufac.
lures the poisons. which give rise to
rheumatism. biliousness. neurasthenia
and sout. When proteids are with
held, the formation of poisons soon
ceases of necessity. and thus the dis
turbed functions return to their nor
NAL state and the health is restored.
By diet of fruit this condition may
DS GU aS ieduilN as perhaps more
readily than, by any other means. The
fruit diet is really proteid starvation,
as fruits contain practically no pro.
teids.
Certainly fruit diet is far more
agreeable than total abstinence from
food. Fruits contain predigested food
elements which do not clog the sys.
TEN, and which are valuable in sus-
tanning the strength.
Fasting is good thing in certain
cases; but long fasts are rarely need
ed. and fruit diet is preferable in all
essential particulars. except in certain
cases in which fruit acids are irritat-
ing, as in gastric ulcer.
The Lamar register., 1905-08-30

with his nose among his paws on a
backyard rubbish heap. And mindful
of the rich reward and needing money
too she poised the tub above his form
and down the torrent flew. There
came a squall and caterwaul that tore
the morning air, yet when the steam
had cleared away the cat he wasn't
there; for on a first floor fire escape
he crouched with flashing eye, his
paws unseared, his tail unskinned. his
fur all fair and dry. But Goldbaum's s
5-year-old daughter Rose was weeping
with a scalded nose.
The story grew, the wonder few,
and Louis Zeitner came. From Bow
cry to river runs said Louis Zeitner's
fame. For when on Broome or Clinton
streets there's riot or duress first Lou
is comes, and then the cops. and then,
mayhap, the press. And Louis said
this right away: Send for the S. p.
c. of A"
1t was last Friday morning, on the
tenement front stoop the passing pix
er might have seen an interesting
group. Full 30 small children without
e'er shoe or hat were paying shy at
tention to Ike Ichberg's brindle cat.
Before his nose saucer lay, of golden
cream and rich-the one who planned
this cunning scheme was Morris OIL
covitch-and Morris, while his victim
in fancied safety lay, was calling on
the telephone the S. P. C. of A. By
risking thus a dimes expense he
hoped to win the so cents.
Around the turn of Goerck street
the fatal wagon came and Ichberg's
brindle terror went on doing just the
same The hurry cart draws up and
stops and from its fatal bed a buttoned
functionary draws a net with meshes
spread. But as he turns to swing his
net and catch the brindle cat the but
toned functionary stops and wonders
where he's at. For awhile he gath
cred for the swoop the brindle cat had
flew the coop.
The only voice on Broome street
that was heard for quite a time was
The Lamar register., 1905-08-30
Had to Wear Old Hat to Wedding
as the Result of Hubby's Care
lessness-And He Thought He
Was Clever.

A friend of mine from town over
In Virginia came to Washington a
week or so ago to buy a hat, says a
writer in the Washington Post. We
went about from shcp to shop. she
and l, and we couldn't find hat she
fancied anywhere. At last we came
upon milliner who had something
that would have been exactly what
my friend wanted if II had not been
the wrong color. The Virginia woman
wanted either a blue or a tan-colored
one, and she'd have to see both be-
fore she could decide which TO take
In the end the miiliner agreed to make
up two hats of the shape my friend
liked. and let her see them. After
ward, the lady from Virginia decided
to leave the task of selection to me
and we went home. said eeny,
meeny. miny, mo TO the hats when
they were made, and the tan-colored
one was it. wrote to my friend
about it, and told her the hat was
ready whenever she should order it
sent. There was TO be a wedding in
that Virginia town, and the husband
of the woman I'm telling you about
came to Washington on the day before
The Lamar register., 1905-08-30

good OF the correct attitude on both
sides. toward the actors in that old
drama Of liberation:
The foe long since in silence slept:
Alike the conqucrur silent sleeps.
John Paul. for it was only later he
took the name Jones. was the young
est child of the humble gardener to
the Hon. Il. Craik of Arbigland. in the
parish of Kirkbean. Kirkcudbright-
shire. Scotland. Born there on July
6. 1747, in very small cottage, situ-
ated twelve miles distant from Dunn
fries, toward Galloway in the west. in
the shelter of wood. ard but few
PAGES from the rocks that throw a
cold. gray fringe upon Solway's fleet
and long Withdrawing tides. he was
the youngest BARN in family of sew
en-. four of whom appear in the story
of Paul's vicissitudes. The gardener
had migrated thither from Leith.
where his father had kept a market
garden with an inn attached By ira
The Lamar register., 1905-08-30
The Need for Recreation.

Rest restores again the energy
which has ben consumed in work. So
long as one is able to restore his lost
energy by sleep and rest, he cannot
become neurasthenic. But when a
man comes to the point where he gan
no longer restore by rest or sleep the
loss of energy which has occurred, he
necessarily becomes neurasthenic, be
cause his nerve cells remain chron-
ically in that exhausted condition.
This is the reason a vacation some
ly replenishing the exhausted store of
energy and saving one from a com
plete breakdown.
A good many men look forward for
months to their annual vacation of
three weeks iE the summer, as their
salvation. For five or six months af-
terward they enjoy very good health
Then their store of energy is exhaust.
ed, and the next six months are sim
ply misery waiting for the breathing
spell to come again. When the busi-
ness man finds at the end of his three
weeks vacation that he has not yet re-
covered his natural energy, and he has
to go back to his work in almost the
same condition in which he left it. he
has chronic neurasthenia. and is going
to have tremendous, perhaps an ir-
reparable, breakdown. if he keeps on
in that way. When a man discovers
that he has reached that point he
ought to stop al once.
The Lamar register., 1905-08-30
Mrs. Snigglefriz's Hard Luck

it to buy the present his wife had
very nearly selected when she was
here. AS he started out, she said
to him. using simple language in or
der to avoid muddling him:
Now, George, l want you to go to
the address I've written on this card
and say | want the champagne Mon
day. Don't forget
George said he wouldn't and he
didn't. All he did was to lose the
card with the address on it, and that
didn't matter a bit, because he knew
address of their wine man without
having it written down. He ordered
a case of champagne to be sent Mon
day. Then he bought the bonbon
dish wedding present, and went back
to Virginia. His wife met him at the
door of their home.
Where's my hat?" she demanded
Didn't you bring it
You didn't say a word about a
hat" he said. You said to order
champagne"
Il wrote the milliner's address down
for you," she cried. Champagne
was the color of the hat, and Monday
is the, name they give that shape
Now I've got to wear my last years
hat to the wedding. George Sniggle
friz, you certainly ought to be tapped
for the simplest"
The Lamar register., 1905-08-30
False Message That Told OF
Papa's Impending Arrival Put
Immediate Stop to That Days
Billing and Cooling.

See that" said Billy W.
"Tha." was nothing less than
stylishly but simply dressed young
lady. just entering an Office building.
Yes
well, that is old man B-'s daugh-
ter. She's going up to the old mans
office to pin one of those roses in the
buttonhole of young Sprigg, the old
mans clerk. They're sweet on each
other, but they fear the stern parent
you know. The old man always goes
home or TO his club about $3.50, and.
after telephoning, the young lady goes
up for little chat with Spriggs, tete-
a-tete, you know"
so? Good for them! Love will
find a way. won't it?'
Sure. but think of the possibilities
the situation offers for a little joke,
nova 'phoney joke"
But"
oh, come. I'll show you"
Billy led the way upstairs to his
own office in the building opposite to
the other. Taking down the phone he
called up the old man BIS office.
The Lamar register., 1905-08-30

dition Scottish gardeners are noted
for intelligence. and this John Paul
was one of the best. His artistry in
landscape gardening and arboriculture
is still in evidence at Arbigland.
John Paul, the younger. was just
leaving school in 1853, when "a blast
o Janwar win blew hansel in on
Robin" In Paul Jones. as in Burns,
the Celt and the Lowlander were mix
ed Burns father was of Highland
descent, but it was the mother of
Paul Jones who gave him his pug
nacity and pride, his astounding in
trepidity, his unquenchable fire of en-
durance. His father had married one
Jean Macduff. daughter of a farmer
from Argyllshire. settled in the neigh
boring parish of New Abbey.
Fit cradle for this naval hero was
Arbigland-a romantic solitude. luxu-
RANT in vegetation, swept by the Sol
ways breezes. with the Criffel range
of hills behind, and Skiddaw, Saddle
The Lamar register., 1905-08-30
SIMPLE RULES OF HEALTH
Prevention of Disease. Rather Than Cure. Should
Be the Aim
Hav.Makino for Fun at Eighty.

A press dispatch from Bridgeport,
Conn. gives an interesting account of
the oldest twins in the country, julius
and Junius Benham, who recently cele-
brated their eightieth birthday hay
making on their farm in Seymour.
"Hay-making is great fun" said Ju-
MUS, "and | feel as if l could NOV
away hay up in the peak Of the peak
of the barn as l used to in days long
ago. and mowin away hay is about
the hottest work there is to be found
in summer.
The Benham twins are remarkable
men. They are far from being in.
valids, though they have arrived al the
age when most persons are usually
feeble Beginning life as apprentices
10 mason, they worked up and later
became builders and contractors.
Some years ago the Benhams gave
up building and settled down to the
care of the real estate they had ac-
uuired in their long residence in
Bridgeport.
I'VE always got up early in the
morning" said Junius, when spoken to
about the hour of rising, "and we can't
get out of the habit"
The twins are in excellent health.
People ought to be cheerful if they
want to live to be DID, said julius.
Look at brother Junius and me- No
boys of the present day ever had as
hard time to get along as we did
when we started. but we had what a
good many boys of to-day do not have.
Our mother gave to us iron constitu-
tions, the greatest present a mother
can give to her boys, and we had been
taught to live according to the simple
and clean rules of the country We
lived clean lives always. We never
drank liquor nor used tobacco. Money
spent for such things is worse than
money thrown away, but many of the
boys to-day seem to think they can't be
men unless they drink liquor and use
tobacco. Why, we would never have
lived to celebrate our eightieth birth
DAY if 1t had not been that we lived
right lives. You can enjoy yourself
without going contrary to Natures
laws. There is plenty of harmless
fun in the world, but it seems to me
that people are looking for the fun
nowadays that hurts rather than
| helps"
The Lamar register., 1905-08-30
Ike Ichberg's Brindle Cat

that of Morris, weeping for his lost
and squandered dime But, nerved by
sense of pain and loss. he got little
sack and hunted for that brindle cf1
through every nook and crack. Ana
ere the day had passed away and ms
mother called her boy, young Morris
Olcovich ran home in a fit of perfect
JOY. For from his left meat sack
hung and from inside of that came
frantic demonstrations by mighty
angry cat. He hastes to Jakey Scho-
enberg and the tenants in accord say
that Morris is entitled to the 80 cents
reward.
But Schoenberg is n skeptic and his
proposition fiat is that first he have
evidence that this is Ichberg's cat
Yet, if they loose the pudding string
and give the beast some room, Ike
Ichberg's frantic terror may be out
again on Broome. The tenants say
that Morris is an honest boy for sure
and Morris stands there smiling with
a smile serene and pure. Jake scho-
enberg is a plunger and he risks nus
so cents, and so with satisfaction ana
with angry violence. he bears the
saualling sackful to North rivers MUIR
ky side and hurls it far and sinks it in
the dark and rolling tide. So happS
now has Schoenberg grown he even
pays the telephone.
Twas Saturday at midnight and at
AZ Broome; the lights were out aid
silence reigned and slumber sweet
and gloom. Twas then a vivid vision
passed through Jakey Schoenberg'
brain. He dreamed that he had falleA
from an elevated train. and when he
struck Third avenue a heavy brewery
truck rolled lightsomely upon his chest
and settled there and stuck. And as
Jake Schoenberg woke and waved his
arms and yelled amain he saw two
cleaning balls of fire that burned into
his brain. Quick. Rosie. Rosie. light
der gas," cried Schoenberg in af-
fright The faithful Mrs. Schoenberg
struck match and got light. And
there upon the bureau sat the hated
form of Ichbers's cat.-New York Sun.
The Lamar register., 1905-08-30
Flies as Carriers of Disease.

In an address before the California
Health Association, DR.. Cobb caIleu
the attention of the medical profession
to the necessity of an active crusaue
against the common house fly.
This pestiferous insect has many
chances to communicate disease from
one person TO another. In cholera epi-
denies it has been shown that MES
are the means of spreading the us
ease by injecting the food.
Whenever large bodies OF men go
into camp, typhoid fever is almost GER
tain to break out, even though the
water supply is carefully protected
from contamination. Such outbreaks
are due to fiy-infection of the 1000
supply. Scattered cases OF typhoiu
fever in country settlements are more
often the result of fly infection than
of water infection.
DR.. Cobb believes that tuberculosis
is communicated not only through the
lungs by means of contaminated dust,
but that the greater source of infec-
ton is by means of the fly planting
sputum on the food from It's ieet'
wings, and excretions. This Injection
by flies has been proved very clearly
When the habits of the fly are CON
sidered it is not unreasonable to be
lieve that this insect is an important
factor in the spread of disease. Ihey
swarm upon decayipg vegetable mat
ter, manure piles, the filth OF the
streets, privy vaults, and every pos
sible source of infection. Follow them
then to the street venders OF frult
and candy, the bakery, butchershop
and restaurant, and even to the family
table, especially of the poor, and it Is
not difficult TO understand the ease
with which germs of all kinds are con-
veyed to the food.
1t may be affirmed, however that in
the process of cooking, the bacteria
will be killed. This is granted, but it is
not here that the danger lies. II is
from food which is eaten raw, or
which has been cooked and upon
which the fly afterward alights that
the greatest danger of infection oc-
ours. The longer this food remains un-
eaten after this contamination, the
greater the probability that colony
has grown, thereby increasing the dos
age of infection.
1t is in the homes of the poor that
the greatest danger arises. The poor
nearly universally leave their tables
set with cold food left from the pre-
vious meal. Upon this food flies as
semble in great numbers, and from
time to time the children help them
selves, the remainder of the food being
served at the next meal. 1t is there
fore necessary to combine for the ex-
termination of this pest. Housewives
especially should be careful TO pre-
vent this source of dangerous infec-
ton.
The Lamar register., 1905-08-30

Ike Iceberg had a brindle cat He
kept it in his room upon the second
story rear of Al Broome. The beast
was wild and dissolute, his ways were
dark and rough. He'd squall and fight
and roam at night-O. yes. that cat
was tough. And when Ike Iceberg
left his fiat folks said he'd moved to
lose that cat.
Jake Schoenberg is the janitor at
AZ Broome. He took his way one sum-
mer day to Ichberg's vacant room.
And crouching IN the corner on
piece of passe mat. Jake Schoenberg
saw the PROSTATE form of Ichberg's
brindle cat. "Du schoene katZ," Jake
Schoenberg said, his heart with kind
ness filled. He reached to pet the
briudIe cat and cried, "Gewalt! I'm
lsiliedp And when from every room
and hall the frightened tenants come.
they find Jake Schoenberg tying up
somewhat damaged thumb. They
search the room. they search the fiat,
but no one finds the brindle cat.
The thumb swelled up, the doctors
came, they blistered and they bled.
and when Jake Schoenberg saw the
bills he passionately said: 81 pays the
sum of so cents and maybe twice of
that If any one will catch and kill Ike
Ichberg's brindle cat" Moe Goldbaum,
aged IL, has a little nickel gun, and
when he heard those burning words
he started on the run. And doing as
in innocence. the brindle cat sat on
the fence.
Moe Goldbaum drew a fancy bead
and aimed it straight and true. He
pulled the lock. the weapon spoke, the
deadly missile few. And with a dy-
ing, gurgling cry of mingled rage and
pain, the brindle cat hunched up its
back and hurtled of amain. Moe Gold
baum leaped upon the ground to seize
his prey. but naught he found.
Next Mrs. Rosie Monheim. with
washtub boiling hot. looked from the
third floor fire escape and spied
shady spot, where Ichberg's brindle
tom cat in a quiet. peaceful sleep, lay
The Lamar register., 1905-08-30
Heartless Joke on Lovers

After ar interval We heard an i'm
patient Hello! What is it?"
Mr.. B in?"
"No--he's never in this time o day.
Call up green-double-pink
Then he waited few minutes at
Billy's window, glancing now and then
at the charming scene across the
street in BIS Office. Billy went
back to the phone and again called up
Spriggs.
Again the interval, followed by the
impatient:
No; tell you he's never in after
$3.50"
Strange" returned Billy; they told
me at his house that he left for the
Office quarter of an hour ago"
Bang went the other phone, and
Billy and i fastened to the window.
Such a scurrying. She couldn't find
her hatpin; then her handbag was
shy: but she was out of that office in
forty seconds by Billy's watch. One
minute later we saw stylishly
dressed and very rosy young lady hur-
rying north on Third street, while a
somewhat agitated-appearing young
man hurried south on the same pave
ment.
Billy seemed to enjoy it; but really
it was rather heartless.-Portland Ore
gonian.
The Lamar register., 1905-08-30
0rx,r of fvbAuP PauIoa0f, faANAr

back, in clear weather. even Heivellyn.
seen across Thirty miles of variable
sea, the lights of St. Bees Head and
Whitehaven marking the opposite line
of coast, and alluring the imaginative
impulsive. daring boy out upon
wider world.
Around his birthplace now other
memories of genius linger. Burns was
visitor at Arbigland, where he met
Mrs. Basil Montague. When at the
chisel thereabouts Allan Cunningham
discovered his Lass of Preston Mill -
Carlyle, who was familiar with the pic-
turesGue Solway shore, and had per-
feet insight of Pauls environment in
childhood, describes with characteris-
tic pathos the imputed backward look
of the hero during his embittered last
years in Paris. Not now, poor Paul
thou lookest wistful over the Solyay
brine, by the foot of native Criffel.
into the blue mountainous Cumber-
land, into the blue infinitude: environ
ed with thrift, with humble friendli-
ness; thyself, young fool. longing to be
aloft from it, or even away from it."
The cottage where the Paul family
lived is at present occupied by George
Faulkner, gamekeeper. Near by is the
grave of the hero's father which
bears the following inscriptions:
The Lamar register., 1905-08-30
Hiqh Life.

Sanitorium life. camps in the Adj
rondacks and elsewhere, tent colonies.
roof dwellings. and various other
methods of taking the open-air treat
ment, have been frequently described
The latest novelty in this line is an eX.
pertinent made by correspondent OF
'Everybody's."
For some time" he says, 81 lived
high and dry in the top of a sturdy
white oak, where | did my cooking,
eating and sleeping. and occasionally
entertained as many as fourteen in
my tent or house at dinner. seventy
feet above terra firma, with only a
rope ladder connecting me and Mother
Earth. My sleeping bunk was a spe-
cially constructed triangular bed. can.
vas covered which lowered fifteen
feet above my living apartments and
platform