The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1905-11-02

I'm still learning how to treat an old
wife, and so I can't give you many
pointers about a young one, for, while
I've been married as long as I've been
In business and while l know all the
curves Of the great American hog,
your mas likely e spring q new one
on me tomorrow. No imam really knows
anything about women except a wild
over. and he forgets II when he gets
ready to marry again. And n 10 woman
really knows anything about men ex-
cept a widow. and she's got TO forget
it before she's willing to marry again.
The one thing you can know is hat as
q general proposition a woman is a lit
tie better than the man for whom she
cares. for when q woman'S bad there's
always a nan at the bottom of it, and
when a mans good there's always q
woman ut the bottom Of that too.
The fact of the matter is. that while
marriages may be made in heaven, a
lot of them are lived in hell and end in
South Dakota. But when a man has
picked out a good woman he holds
four hearts. and he needn't be afraid TO
draw cards if he's got good nerve. If
be hasn't. he's got no business TO be
sitting in games OF chance. Thu best
woman in the world will begin trying
out Il man before she's beer married
to him t~wcnty-four hours, and unless
he can smile owe the top of Il four
! flush and raise h ante shes going to
| rake in the hreechcs AID keep them.
The great thing is TO begin right.
Marriage is q close corporation. and
unless IA fellow gets the controlling
interest at the start lie can't pick il up
later. The partner who owns IL per
cent of the stock in any business is
the boss. even If the other is allowed
TO call himself president. There's only
two jobs for q man in his own house
ones boss and the others Office boy
and q fellow naturally falls into the
one for which he's fitted.
OF course when | speak Of q fellows
being boss in his own home l simply
mean that. in Il broad way. he's going
to shape the policy of the concern.
When Il Il goes sticking his nose in
TO the running of the house he's apt 10
get it tweaked. and while he's busy
drawing il back out of danger he's GO
ing TO get his leg pulled too. You let
your wife tcnd TO the housekeeping,
and you focus on earning money with
which she can keep house. OF course
in one way it's mighty nice Of a man
to help around the place. but it's been
my experience that the fellows who
tend to all the small jobs at home never
get anything else to tend to at the
Office. in the end it's usually cheaper
to give all your attention TO your bust
ness and to hire a plumber.
You dom: want TO get it into your
head, though, that because your wife
hasn't any office hours she has u soft
thing. A lot of men 60 around sticking
u their chests and wondering why
their wives have SO much trouble with
the help when they are able TO handle
their clerks so easily. If you really
want 10 know. you lift two of your men
out OF their revolving chairs and hang
Il over a forty horsepower cook stove
that's booming along under forced
draft so that your dinner won't be
late. with Il turkey that's gobbling for
Blasting in Ii wen and q cake that's
gone back OF you in 4 low. underhand
way III another and sixteen different
things boiling over on top and mixing
up their smells. and you set the other
at a twelve hour stunt of making all
the beds you've musSed and washing
all he dishes you've used and cleaning
all the dust you've kicked up. and you
boss the whole while the baby wells
with collie over your arm-you just try
this with two Of your men and sec
how long it is before there's rough
house on the Wabash. Yet a lot Of
fellows come home after their wives
have had a day OF this and blow
around about how tired and over
worked they are and wonder why
home isn't happier. Don't you eve
forget that it's a blamed sight easier
to keep cool in front of an electric fan
han a cool stove and that you can't
subject the best temper in the world
to 500 degrees +. without warming it
m q hit And don't Won add To your