davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10
One Request.

One Request.
"Our society,"" said the prison visit.
or, "is anxious to help you. Is there
anything you'd like us to secure for
you?"
"Well." replied the convict. 81
would like to have permission to in.
vent a flying machine and use it,
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10
Different Facial Expression.

Bllls-Did you notice the pleased
expression on her face when told her
tnat she did not look any older than
her daughter?
Wllls-No, I was looking at the ex
preston on the daughters face.
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10

How Does Your Garden Grow?
Here is a good one, Jones. Why
are the garden seeds my little daugh
ter planted last week like saurkraut
and limburger?"
"Give it up"
because they're German-atin'."-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10
Making Sympathy

Making Sympathy.
She-Has your friend long been
bald? He looks so young!
He (pathetically)-He was born 80.
She (Much moved)-The poor thing.
Bits.
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10
Diaunosinn Il

Diagnosing It.
= Yes" said Alkali Ike, quietly, "he
died very sudden while playin' poker"
Heart disease? queried the tourist
We'll, now, reckon you might call it
heart, spade, diamond and club dis.
ease. He had all four aces I'M h;s
sleeve"
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10
Russia's Sinkinu Fund

Il see that Russia is putting another
large sum into new navy"
"Yes-that's her sinking fund.-
Life
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10

The End Of the Trouble.
II understand that Mrs. Jones has
teen cured Of insomnia"
"How?"
"TheIe was fire in the street the
other night and she failed to wake
up. Jones says she hasn't said a word
about insomnia since"
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10

Mrs. Jordan-Did you ever hear my
daughter sing, Mr.. Johnson?
Mr.. Johnson-Oh, yes; 1 only live
five blocks from your house, you
know.-Philadelphia Telegraph.
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10

NO." Interrupted the editor, glaring
at him significantly, cts sign that
the spring poet is here''
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10
Ready for Him.

"Good morning, sir" began the long
haired visitor with the roll of manu-
script, II see you've got your window
open; that's a sign that spring is here
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10

lmpor&ant to Mothers.
Examine carefully every bottle Of CASTOR1A,
a safe and sure remedy for infants and children,
and see that it
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10

Office Boy 1.-TWO minutes later)-"He
says he wants to hire about $1,000,
worth of lawyer, sir, but that his time
is valuable, too, and you've used up
your allowance"
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10

Book Agen-ady this book will tell all sav
<~>
Oldwed-I that book cond n mn
married twenty WA DD0'
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10
Then the Boss Eain+ed

Then the Boss Tainted.
Office Boy-"Gent wants to see you,
sir"
Big Lawyer-"Tell him my time is
very valuable and ask him what he
wants"
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10
The Exception.

Mignon-*'Do you think honesty is
always the best policy"
Adelle-"1n everything except love.
II were to tell all my danglers what
| honestly think Of them I wouldn't
have one left at the end of the week"
Detroit Free Press
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10
Inst Whv He Listened.

*'My daughter was practlclng her
new concert piece this afternoon"
said the woman next door.
Yes" replied Mr.. Bittner, 81
heard her"
How was it,"
"Why, I simply couldn't get away;
that's how it was"
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10
T h e hosen One S

That fell from Heaven back to Heaven
again.
And in that din and clamor await
The message that He sends who guards
the gate.
To bid me come within or bid me lay
My dreams aside and diligently stray
BY field and stream and under the blue
sky,
Seeking the truth afar with eager eye.
Through many a sleepless night and
weary day
TO serve with patience, suffer, learn, and
pray,
Until I gain the Secret, and the~gate
Shall be flung wide and those great souls
await
TO welcome me, who, like me, unafraid,
Untiring, patient, at the altar laid
Their offerings once and once and once
again,
And once hundred times, and more; till
then
They learned that Patience was the word
that bade
The gate swing wide and waiting souls
be glad!
New York Times.
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10
Unpleasant Woman.

Unpleasant Woman.
McCorkle-Well, thank goodness, I
won't have to bother with this blamed
old furnace much longer!
Mrs. McCorkle-No, the lawnmower
will furnish about the only exercise
you'll get now.
McCorkle-You have the meanest
disposition of any woman ever knew.
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10
All Fixed.

All Fixed.
Jess-He's such strange fellow, |
don't know how to take him.
Bess-You're not going to take him
at all, dear. I think I've got him.
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10

Still the Same Old Plays.
Miss Innit-You seemed bored at
the theater last night, Mr.. Knott.
Don't you like Shakespeare?
Mr.. Wyse Knott-Oh, Shakespeare
all right, I s'pose, but I wisht he'd
turn out sOmethin' new.
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10
Aovv n Have Letters Saved.

HOW 70 HdVe cet0erS odVeu'
"I'm glad you we're long-headed
enough to save his letter." says the
lawyer.
"And so am IT, replied the actress.
MY first impulse was to destroy it;
but when I read the postscript that
told me to be sure and burn it, I
knew at once that it was valuable and
worth saving.'
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10

Honorable Work.
"Are you willing to work?"
"At any honorable work, lady"
*Well, beating a rug is honorable
work, isn't it?"
"Youse don't understand, lady. Wot
I mean is a term in congress, or de
senate, or any place where youse can
put honorable before your name"
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10
Surer 7hinu,

The Doctor Doesn't this scheme
for making gold out of sea water an
peal to your cupidity?"
The Druggist-"Not a bit. I'm do
Ing fairly well with mineral water :.
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10

Calumet ! : ! II | ! I.
IL S t 7 Ls@:S%<,<< X ], u. = s.@+t &g3
" ,#% r =. z, n 4 4 .<o T. :, i .T'f5
!. Baking = | / ; !.
..@< ,. {:
? o|'wder
t.' ~ AG*.,>. -.

complies with
the pure food
laws Of all
states. Food
prepared with
tits free from
Rochelle salts.
lime, alum
and ammonia.
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10
@]>I-I>f7I':l ~
E*P1D$lION$

Hades Too Slow for Denverite.
Where are you from?" demanded
Mephisto.
Denver" the man replied.
We'll, you can come in, but I don't
want any kicking because this place
isn't swift enough for you. We're do.
ing the best we can."-Louisville
Courier-Journal.
The Limit Of Scorn.
Manager-You do not inject enough
contempt, spite and venom into that
word.
Actress-1 can do no better.
Manager-Nonsense! Speak it just
as you say "Plush!" when you meet
rival in an imitation sealskin.
The Cook County herald., 1905-06-10

holds five
Bad it divide
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-22

Local theatregoers who enjoy a good comedy and like to laugh will find an op- portunty to do so early and often--in fact. continuously throughout the evening when Harry Beresford presents his lat est success, "The Woman Hater"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-22

change it. He has been the lifelong friend | of the old musician. Years before the
 story begins his sister was to have been
 Myron's wife, but she died on their we'd
 ding day, and the tie of sentiment and
 sorrow has bound the two old men the closer through all these years. | But the breaking point has come at i last and strangely enough it is small matter of town politics that is at the bot
 tom of it. Simon Peter opposes the build l in gof q railroad through the town, but l is outvoted by the advocates of the pro- 1 ject, among whom is Myron Cooper. Si- mon Peter works himself up to the belief that Cooper's opposition is personal and his stubborn vindictiveness leads him to
 carry the feud even into family rela- 1 tions.
 Iils is the serious thread of the story
 Throughout the play the comedy element is predominant. even the old musician taking a prominent part in the fun-mak- ing. Village types are faithfully repro duced. characterization which appear all the more enjoyable because there is no attempt at burlesque or horse play. TliA types one sees in this little village are sufficiently funny without resort to carl cature.
 The staging of the play is exact in de- tail. The little things that go to maj up what is called atmosphere" are care- fully looked after, and some charming ef- fleets are the result. Each scene is true to life and original in conception, The chirping of criclSets. the croaking of bull frogs and the glow of fireflies in the beau tiful Maple Lane" scene are examples of this phase of the dramatists stagecraft. All the little details of the production have been given the most painstaking at- tention, and the result excels anything yet shown in rural drama. The dream scene of the finale, in which a vested boy choir is used, is one of the prettlest things yet devised for any play
 York State Folks comes to the Bjou Monday evening as a special fair week attraction, and will be presented exactly as in New York at the Majestic theatre. Seats and boxes are now selling.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-22

George Ades comedy of western college life, '"rhe College Widow" which delight ed New York audiences for eight months last season. and created furore in Chi cago for a third of that period this sea- son, has been secured for tomorrow night at the Jefferson theatre.
 The play is made up of typical Ade hu- mor and satire, and the lines fairly bristle with his good-natured salhes. The plot is slight, as, in fact, all Ade plots are, as there Is not a past to be concealed or problem to be solved. ''The College Wid- ow" is young woman who has won her title by her numerous conquests over stu dents She is considered irresistible and, of course, takes her pick of them, a new one every year So when young Bolton, bound for Bingham college, rival insti- tuition of learning, stops off with his fath- CT to visit his old friend, the president of Atwater college, he readily falls into the snare set for him by the widow. Bolton is a famous half back, and Atwater needs him to win the annual Thanksgiving game with its deadly rival, Bingham. The elder Bolton returns from Europe in the middle of the game. He learns how his son has been duped and attempts to get him out of the game. His plans are upset by a crowd of students, who kidnap the mill lionaire railroad magnate, and the game goes on and Bolton kicks the winning goal
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-22
PLAYS AND PLAYERS

in the last minute of play. Then Bolton, Sr., tells his son what the others all know that he had been the victim of wo- mans wiles. He Is about to leave Atwa- ter forever when the widow, who has not escaped heart free in the transaction, makes a naive confession, so they kiss and father and son go joyously into the hotel, where the students are celebrating their victory with supper.
 The scene of the third act portrays the roar of the grandstand while the football game Is in progress. The rooters with their flags and horns and college yells are plainly in sight, but the game takes place off the stage. The whole thing is con- ducted with such fidelity to nature that 1t is the most intensely realistic portrayal of sporting event ever attempted on the stage. Leading critics have pronounced 1t to be the masterpiece of that past mas ter of stagecraft, George Marion, who Is Henry W. Savage's general stage director. It is typical Henry w. Savage produce tion in every sense of the word. which means that it is an artistic triumph.
 The cast is a strong and capable one, including as it does such well-known art ists as Frederick Truesdale, Neil Moran, Walter Walker, Dan Baker, George Ober, Raymond Chase Hale Norcross. Edgar Halstead, Ernest B. Carr, Robert Mackay, Laurence Wheat. Otis Turner. Freeman Barnes, George r. Demerest Harold Tor rington, Dorothy Tennant. Adeline Dun lap, Catherine Nugent. Lida McMillan, Elsa Payne. Mildred St. Pierre. Georgia Cross Florence Cameron, Virginia Milton and Ora Lee
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-22
PLAYHOUSE GOSSIP.

Twill you men never understand what a woman can undergo for the man she loves? Men endure physical tortures for our sakes which our bodies refuse to sup port, but we make 1t up in what we can endure spiritually and mentally for you" Such are the words uttered by the hero inc of Clyde Fitch's great play, "The Woman in the Case" which will be seen In this city during the present season, and these words strike the keynote of the play. In Chicago, where 1t has duplicated the sensation 1t made in New York, the Record Herald said: MT. Fitch has writ ten the humanest melodrama we have seen in | long time, and good melo- drama Is Q tonic. MT. Fitch has a story
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-22

, to tell and he tells it vigorously He pre- sents the ever-appealing spectacle of wife ly devotion in an effective and moving way. The third act, in it's long sustained suspense and it's terrific climax. is Sardou at his best. It may not be life, but 1t is amazing mechanism and more the play
 wright's triumph than the players. One of the pleasing features in "The Isle of Spice" which comes to this city soon, is the pony ballet" comprising | twelve little English girls, who were brought over from London by B. c. Whit ney, and are said to be the cleverest , dancers on the American stage today.
 They say that Fife Ellsler Is again re- beating with great success all over the country her rendition of Hazel Kirke,' the title role in the revival of that play which Manager Jules Murry has made this season This charming actress and beautiful play will be seen in this city in the near future.
 One of the promising productions of this season will be that of "The Geisha," the delightful Japanese musical comedy which ran for 10l0 nights at Day's theatre Lon don, and over POO nights at Daly's thea tre, New York, a few years ago. J. C. Brocolini has purchased the original pro- duction, and with new scenery and newly
 imported costumes, the company of fifty will start on tour of the United States and the Canadian provinces, opening at Richmond, Norfolk and the principal cities of the south and the Pacific coast. Miss Laura Willard the well-know prima donna, Is to be the stellar feature. and she will be seconded by Miss Laura Deane in the soubrette role
 Local theatregoers who enjoy a good comedy and like to laugh will find an op-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-22

five thousand, a majority of whom are women. A considerable number occupy studios or apartments and live on the cooperative plan. It was thought when the census was undertaken. early in the spring. that the class known as bachelors would be small, and only ten thousand blanks. or individual slips, were asked for as the first installment. But before the census-taking had fairly begun 1t was found that many more slips were needed. and lots of ten thousands were repeated ly ordered. When the census reports were collected and filed away the records contained the names of several hundred thousand persons in the city of Nes
 York who are living in a solitary state.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-22
"The College Widow"

~%%~%<e%%%+%--~%+-%+<-<~-<%<-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-22
Bachelor Life in New York.
Harriet ouimby in Leslie's Weekly.

Harriet Quimby in Leslie's Weekly.
 One of the surprises of the census taken this year is the large number of persons who live alone in New York. It was re- marked by official of the census bu- reau that the greatest loneliness exists in the busiest municipality of the western world, and the statement was verified by the reports of the enumerators, who found the city filled with thousands of unattached persons They live in board ing houses, in the new sky-scrapng ho- tels, in the many Broadway caravansa- ries, and in hundreds of bachelor apart ments and studios. Of artists and art students alone there are said to be about
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-22
Hoy.s "A Bunch of Keys"

After all is said and done there can be no mistaking the character of stage enter tainment which youchsafes the greater amount of pleasurable enjoyment to the masses of theatre patrons. It is for amusement solely that the best patronage is given to the playhouse. The late Charles H. Hoyt understood and appreciated this truth when, with the aid of Willie Edouin, he managed to evolve such hit as "A Bunch of Keys" some years ago. It was "A Bunch of Keys" which set the pace for latter day comedy successes, and even
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-22
AT THE BlJou.

< All the week, with matinees Tues | . day. Thursday and Saturday-"York 4
 . State Folks.'' '
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-22
AT THE JEFFERSON.

Monday night-"The College Wid- ow." Wednesday afternoon and night
 Hoyt's A Bunch of Keys" Saturday afternoon and night "Human Hearts"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-22
The tremendous success accorded aeorge

The tremendous Auccess hccorded GeorEe Ade's comedy, "The County Chairman" in New York. to say nothing of tho long runs enjoyed In other cities, Is evidence of the warm regard In which tho hunor- ist's wit and clover dialogue are held by the playgoing public. The story Is graph
 oaliy told with laughs following each other in rapid succession. Henry w. Saw age. the producing manager. has paid par tlcular attention to the spectacular side
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-22

Director William Well of Wells band which made fame rapidly in more than five hundred daily concerts at the worlds fair. of which It was the official organ ization, believes In making band concerts AS bright and enga ging as possible. at tho same time preserving class and quality.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-22

now it would be extremely difficult to point to anything approaching its intent which can compare with it's remarkable vitality. The real bone and sinew of this, | Hoyts first and most lasting success, Is the kind of substance which has almost invariably escaped the attention of mod ern farce writers. Unlike any other mu- sical comedy prior or since. "A Bunch of Keysp is susceptible of having new ma terial infused into its framework without injuring the fabric, and thus season a1ter season it is found bobbing up serenely. "A Bunch of Keys" will again invite fa- vor at the Jefferson theatre next Wednes- day matinee and night It is claimed that a capable company of artists and the ex- penditure of considerable money for new scenic arrangements are the principal fea- lures, while the importance of melody has not been overlooked.
 A special scale of prices has been ar ranged for this engagement.
 "York State Folks"
 The title of York State Folks" this weeks offering at the Bijou, tells the story. It is a simple tale of the people of an everyday American village. Its scene is one of those typical upstate towns of the Empire state, and so 1t is appropriately entitled York State Folks.
 The play is delightful departure from the conventional rural drama. There are no "hayseeds" or exhibits of farm ma chinery, and there is not even mortgage. Neither Is there a villain nor a woman with a story of wrong. There are no thrills save those that stir the heart when love is winning It's wonted triumphs over less worthe passions. There is no horse play or buffoonery artificially contrived through caricature of rustic characters One laughs with these villagers rather than laughs at them. This absence of Straining for theatrical effects is one of the chief charms of the play.
 The real hero and good genius of the piece is an old musician and organ build truist, whose optimism Is as positive as He is a sort of Caleb Plummer with his eyes open. He has been crossed In love, has labored in good causes all his life, but apparently struggled in vain, and yet he hopes on, making himself as comfort able as he may, permeates the village with his benign spirit. composes the quar- rels of the others, gently resents the af- fronts put upon him, and develops that kind of nobleness of character that impels respect and finally develops into regard
 The contrastive role is that of Simon Pe- ter Martin, the village boss This Simon Peter Martin Is a composite of many strong willed men. He Is not carica- ture. He is a righteous. inflexible, irn- movable, opinionated village martinet. It is harder for him to admit that he has changed his mind than 1t Is for him to
La Junta tribune., 1905-08-09

fer with the La Junta Home Com
pany regarding the matter Of Sc
curing a title for the sight on which
the city reservoir is located reported
that the latter had agreed to accept
$500 in settlement Of all claims The
city bought the site in 1893. the
agreed consideration being $50.
The matter was never settled owing
10 the fact that the Home Company
eontended that the city agreed
To furnish residents of Home Place
with city water As a part Of the con
sideration. which was denied by the
city officials. The city now owns two
and one-hslf acres and . rixht-of-
way to the water main on Ration
avenue. The site is plenty large
enoug for the location of several
more reservoirs.
The council met as a board Of
health and condemned the water
closets in block IS As a public nuis-
ance. The marshal WAS instructed
To notify the owners to connect with
the sewer.
The burning Of trash in ashpits
within the fire limits was also con-
demned As a public nuisance. and
the marshal was instructed TO pro-
hibit the practice in the future.
After allowing the usual grist Of
bills the council adjourned.
La Junta tribune., 1905-08-09
PROGRAMME:
MoaDo111e sess,os-lOA n.

0sDU&06 S&33oOs-UO u y.
Call orer by the Mayor Of In lJunta, G. W..
BongHrner.
InvOcatiOn Rev. Conrad Blnhm
As.lres. If Welcome behalf IF the city. Hon.
Marion +. Miller.
Address Of Welcome behalf of the county, Hon. J.
H. Crowley.
Address Of Welcome behalf If the Commercial
nryanzatiOn Hon. Fred A. Sain
Response by Colonel w. II. Mn,r~, President Ma.
tioial Good Rais Association. Subject The National
Good Roads Movement.
Appointment Of Committees aud Registration
Address ''COnvict Labor. Iy Judge Gavin of New
Mexico.
La Junta tribune., 1905-08-09
AFIERsoooa SESSION. N.

Address, Senator A. y Nsnn Vice. President National
Good Roads Association. Snbject, 'Orgonizaton ~
Address, Hon. Wm Bradlbnrn. Consulting Engineer
National Good Roads Association Subject practical
Road Construciiom.
Conference aud five minute talk, by .iel-ynt.s
Address, Col. W. II. Lockbar,
La Junta tribune., 1905-08-09
EvEn0o SES0ooo, "a JUUIA TUeAJRe.0 ?. r..

Music, Wonl-rly' Orchestra.
Reports of Committees Resolution and Organization
Address, Col. 7. p. RiNey, lecturer National Good
Reads Association. Subject, ''L-gislaton. y
Steresppticon Lecture. Col w. H. Moore Subject
The Roads Of the World
Alaska forum., 1905-06-03
Rampant May Get No Marshal

A passenger on the Lavelle Young last evening stated as lis belief that no { equity marshal would be appointed at Rampant until the present administra- ton is either retained or displaced. The officials he stated were not quite sure whether they were on their heels or their heads This determination if they are free agents in the matter of new appointments, IS in keeping with the past treatment accorded this camp at the hands of the federal ad- ministration of this division.