davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1905-12-08
staggers a London w.,.

He was sad-faced American to,r
list and as he seated himself in aIon
don restaurant he was immediately AZ.
tended by an obsequious waiter
L want two eggs" said the Amer;-
can, lone fried on one side and ono on
the other"
Cow is that, STRIP asked the as
founded waiter.
1.-TWO eggs-one fried on one side
and one on the other"
Very we'll, SIR"
The waiter was gone several min
utes, and when he returned his face
was study.
Would you please repeat your hor-
der, sir?"
II said, very distinctly, two eggs
one fried on one side and one on the
other
This time he was gone longer and
when he returned he said anxiously:
Would it be awsking too much. sir
to ave you repeat your horder, sir? I
cawn't think ave it right, sir, v,
know"
1.-TWO eggs" said the American. sad
ly and patiently, zone fried on one side
and one on the other'
More oppressive silence and another
and fainter, Very we'll, sir"
This time he was gone longer. When
he returned his collar was unbuttoned.
his hair disheveled and his face
scratched and bleeding. Leaning over
the waiting patron he whispered be-
seemingly:
would you mind tyking boiled
heggs, sir? I've 'ad some words with
the cook. ''-Baltimore American.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1905-12-08
A Georgia Goose storx.

Eyes, sir,'' said the Georgia hunter,
"a drove Of wild geese came flying
over, and, for wonder, they were all
so close together that for the length
of mile and half they hid the sun,
so that the chickens went to roost at
midday. | climbed to the woodshed-
so as not to strain the gun-and fired
both barrels; then, quickly reloading,
l gave 'em another broadside and for
two days thereafter the farmers were
picking up dead wild geese all over the
settlement! Whatll you fellers take?'
Atlanta Constitution.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1905-12-08
Are You Tired, Nervous
and SleeDless :?

Nervousness and sleeplessness are u.s.
ually due to the fact that the nerves are
not fed on properly nourishing blood;
they are starred nerves. DR.. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery makes pure
rich blood, and thereby the nerves are
properly nourished and all the organs of
the body are run as smoothly as machin
cry which runs in oil. In this way you
feel clean, strong and strenuous-you are
toned up and invigorated, and you are
good for whole lot Of physical or mental
work. Best of all, the strength and in
crease in vitality and health are lasting.
The trouble with most tonics and med
icineS which have a large, booming sale
for short time, is that they are largely
composed of alcohol holding the drugs in
solution. This alcohol shrinks up the red
blood corpuscles, and in the long run
greatly Injuries the system. One may feel
exhilarated and better for the time being,
yet in the end weakened and with vitality
decreased. DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical
Discovery contains no alcohol. Every
bottle of it bears upon its wrapper The
Badge Of Honesty, in full list of all its
offer you something he claims is "just as
good is to insult your intelligence.
Every ingredient entering into the
world-famed vGolden Medical Discovery :"
has the unanimous approval and endorse
ment of the leading medical authorities
vi oil UllC SCF "a Chl oCIlOOlO VI ~ dCGlCCs ANO
like purposes has any such endorsement.
The wGolden Medical Discovery" not
only produces all the good effects to be
obtained from the use of Golden Seal
root, in all stomach, liver and bowel
troubles, as in dyspepsia, biliousness, con-
stipation, liberation Of stomach and
bowels and kindred ailments, but the
Golden Seal root used in its compound
ing is greatly enhanced in it's curative &C
tion by otker ingredients such as Stone
drake root and chemically pure triple
refined glycerine.
vThe Common Sense Medical Adviser"
is sent free in paper covers on receipt Of
81 one-cent stamps to pay the cost of mail
ing O71ly. For 81 stamps the cloth-bound
volume will be sent. Address DR.. R. v.
Pierce, Buffalo, n, Y.
DR.. Pierces Pleasant Pellets cure con-
stipation. biliousness and headache.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1905-12-08
EDlsoN,s FIGHT FOR PATENT.
Claims United States Laws Give Lit
tie Protection to Inventors

claims United States Laws Give Lit
tie Protection to Inventors
Il happened to be chatting with
Thomas A. Edison, in his laboratory
ut Orange, New Jersey, one night while
ne was working on his most recent
creation-the intensified Dynamo"
says writer in Success Magazine,
land heard him discuss thoroughly the
injustice that is done inventors in the
United States. This very day., he
said, several of my we'll known pat
ents expire, and become the property
of posterity, which means Tom, Dick,
and Harry. The government processes
to protect the inventor for seventeen
years, and after that time his crea-
ton is no longer his own. But, as a
matter of fact, the gov ernment does
no such thing. 1t let's any poacher
run in and bring suit, or apply for an
injunction, disputing the inventors
patent already granted by the patent
office, and in all the courts, pending
the long-drawn-out litigation which
follows, the other fellow is permitted
to go on manufacturing and selling the
thing he claims to have invented before
the real inventor made it.
Do you see that little lamp there?'
asked Mr.. Edison, as he arose, full
length, in his ragged old linen buster
of the workshop, and he pointed with
his pencil to an ordinary incandescent
electric light heaming brightly over a
draftsman's table. 1T was my inven-
ton, known as a primary invention,
because | took two things, piece Of
metal and electricity, and made
third thing out Of them-light Now,
l fought fourteen years in the courts
for that little lamp, because a French
man bobbed up and claimed it after l
had secured the patent During all
this litigation L had no protection what
ever and when l won my rights, after
fourteen years, there were but three
years Of the allotted seventeen left for
my patent to live. II has now become
the property of anybody and every
body There is no protection given an
inventor by the courts or the patent
department. -
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1905-12-08
500 Reward, 500.

The readers of this paper will be pleased
TO learn that there is at least one dreaded
disease that science has ben able to cure IN
I'll its stages, and that is Catarrh Hairs
Catarrh Cure is the only positive cure now
Known to the medical fraternity. Catalrh
heing constitutional disease, requires a
constitutional treatment. Halls Catarrh
Cure is taken internally, acting directly
upon the blood and mucous surfaces OF the
system thereby destroying the foundation
Of the disease and giving the patient
strength by building up the constitution and
assisting nature in doing its work. The
nroprietors have so much faith in It's cura,
five powers that they offer One Hundred
Dollars for any case that it fails to cure.
Send for list of testimonials.
Address F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, y.
Sold by Druggists. Toe.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1905-12-08
Note. OF Current Events.

The Lenora National Bank at More
..od XIV. has closed its doors.
wreckace. believed to be from the
o,aaner Mary of Toronto, has Deen
sonnd near the Galloup islands.
william l.. Hunt and LOUIS ". c EN,-
ga Who were arrested in New 1ork
=, TO- oonnection with the death OF Susanna :,
. - ep the chorus girl, pleaded not gun
uea ~ arraigned at Boston and Were
~ Ml fer trial in bonds of $4,000. Bali
ne,e not furnished and the men were
ao,,,n,itted to Jail.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1905-12-08
MERClLESS ITCHING.

Another Speedy Cure of an Itching
Humor with Loss of Hair by the
CUticura Remedies.
For two years my neck was COW
cred with sores, the humor spreading
to my hair, which fell out, leaving an
unsightly bald spot, and the soreness,
inflammation, and merciless itching
made me wild. Friends advised Cuti-
cura Soap and Cuticura Ointment, and
after a few applications the torment
subsidized, to my great joy. The sores
soon disappeared, and my hair grew
again, as thick and healthy as ever. l
shall always recommend the Cuticura
Remedies. (SigneO Harry ]. Spald-
ing, 1O4 West 104th street, New York
CITY"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1905-12-08
Her View of 1t.

The Friend-How is your husband?
Is he getting on all right at the sea-
side?
The Wife-He writes to say that he
is getting quite we'll again and wants
for nothing.
Doesn't that strike you as suspic-
ious?"
"Why?"
at seems to me he might want you
at least TALES.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1905-12-08
He Rowed. She STORED.

The boat drifted on the clear lake
The man and the maid were silent and
a little sad. Dear" he said, will you
foat with me always-down the stream
of life?"
''The same as now?' she whispered
"The same as now," said he.
81 will. Gladly" cried the young girl.
He, you see, was rowing, doing all the
hard work. She had the helm. She
steered.- Minneapolis Journal.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1905-12-08
Nothing Bogus About the Title.

Did you secure your title of colo
ner in the army?" asked the formida-
bly, frank person.
Certainly not replied Colonel Still
we'll ct is the expression of genuine
esteem by my friends and neighbors,
not mere Formally of red tape. =
Washington Star.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1905-12-08
|, 2L00D FOR BAD

I'd Other Blood Dis-
,,e'nc o "ee BY Dr., Williams
80 pink Pills. INV
slalrl eIbovs pressed against st
ID n jI,npnsss and , extremes en- so9 81
ID Nr. D Dubuque n Iowa, in de-
/ 5s ssPs s[nrprising that 1 con,
b j not ~. For three years "f m,1 l
Els sf ecu elbows. My ankles mikes
81 !! became al Uneven sS ground, and a
rr,.s o from on' a stone under tha my :
e3ans ';;n l',0 down 10 I was often t
Enlissj.n an oS:' WI were similarly larry
i were 81 gy 1ot feel encouraged to
/ money ava" .torv of Robert Yates,
['I l.s.t .D5 uIaSunu ti Co., Of Of
[9s F1o ! I dscid l. to try DR.. Will
Zen. pills s' for Pale People the the
PIX IN rI'I psed. In three or II, tour T
b. I 5s.si niIG, to use the pills. ills |
Fiber D .,sr and in three months l
|sa:1 5s T6a sEe of the joints
a9 nd. ssd for eight years I have
tei..! n III the trouble. My whole
t,I3.vs ', in DR.. Williams P INK
S tlls's nv - sons use them; We
b ta., a. a. household remedy that
spGs about. piot Pills did for
\ 9 p: y ,s ,.,-l are doing for hundreds
|laFLT 5ns? q dose sends galloping
|G b'olJ nrro strong, rich, red
5l ,r rSs. sfraightatt the cause Of
fi-.. H., bracps all the organs for
ny in ,ssI,s Get the genuine DIR:
l \ p; ,i;I Pills at your druggists
7. I. fL : Mn the Dr.. Williams Medi-
-:cbapectady, n. Y.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1905-12-08

set in, and I was obliged to use the
catheter. took to my bed, and the
doctors failing to help, began using
Doan's Kidney Pills. The urine soon
came freely again, and the pain grad
ually disappeared. I have been cured
eight years, and though over 20, am
as active as a boy"
Sold by all dealers, so cents a box.
Foster Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1905-12-08

- M 1CtA4L1 VI L q h
ersburg, w. Va,
says: Driving about
l n b a d weather
b r o u 6 b t kidney
troubles on me, and
l suffered twenty
years with sharp,
cramping pains in
the back and urinary
disorders. / often
had to get up a dozen
times at night to
urinata Rntantioy,
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1905-12-08
IT Didn't Work.

Doctor" said the man who wanted
to work him for free prescription,
what would you give for a sore
throat?'
Nothing" replied the doctor prompt
ly. II don't want sore throat. Fit
Bits
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1905-12-08

Piso's Cure for Consumption cured me
of tenacious and persistent cough
VIM. Fl. Harrison, 227 w. 121st street,
New York, March %, 1901.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1905-12-08

The largest dry-fsh packing house in
the world is at Halifax. 1t has $4,000
square feet of floor space.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1905-12-08

Paraguay has only $50 miles of rail
way.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1905-12-08

seDr David Kennedy's Favorite Remedy gave me
promnt and complete relief from dyspepsia and liver
Enhancement" B. T. Trowbridge. Harlem r. R. N Y.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1905-12-08
The Old Story.

"She married him to reform him"
HAS she succeeded?'
''No; supporting him takes all of her
time. louisville CourierJ Journal.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1905-12-08

Mrs. Winslow's SOOTHING Syrup for Children
teethinR; softens the gums, reduces al
lays pain, cures wind collie. 2o cents q bottle.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1905-12-08
The Only Sure winner.

The Only Sure Winner.
She-Whom did you congratulate first
the bride or the groom?
He-Neither; congratulated the min
lister.
"Why the minister"
ooh, he got the money, you know. -
Yonkers Statesman.
The Mathews journal. (Mathews C.H. [Court House]) 1903-1937, 1905-08-03
G9lZZsSFS S5Ssd azsSzsS2
FOR THE
( HOUSEKEEPER :,
3GSSGSll%Ss &&czRsS O.

Clothes may be boiled in a rusty
boiler without harm if first placed in
bag.
Gas globes break very readily when
the screws holding them are screwed
too tight
Stove polish mixed with turpentlne
makes a brighter polish and one apt
TO last longer.
Before boiling milk rinse out the
saucepan with little hot water; It will
prevent the milk sticking TO the bot
tom of the pan.
To keep tins bright wash them we'll
with strong hot soda and water, and
when dry polish with cloth and
little powdered whitening.
Lace that promises not TO bear a
necessary washing can be basted onto
some thin material and then cleaned
with better chances of success.
Apples fresh from the trees should
never be eaten without first being
washed, as,they are in a good position
to collect the dust and germs of the air.
To soften a beefsteak smear 1t with
place between two plates and leave
for few hours. This works wonders
in softening the fibre
Potato Feelings, if dried in the oven.
are very useful for fire lighting. If suf-
ficiently abundant they may entirely
take the place of wood, but in any case
they will economic it,
When making jam. if clean half
dollar is placed in the bottom of the
preserving pan the fruit will not re-
quire stirring, and it will keep beau
tifully whole. The coin keeps it stirred
by continually moving while the water
is boiling
y porcelain saucepan that has be-
come stained should be half filed with
water into which q tablespoonful of
powdered bOraX has been put. Let the
water boil briskly for awhile. Should
all the stain not come off wet a cloth
and dip in borax and scour off the
spots.
When the oven smells badly take a
vessel of hot water and a handful of
washing soda. Take the shelves out
and wash well i'm hot water, then finish
them in cold. Next wash the oven
we'll out with the soda water and brush
it over with whitening. 1t will then
be clean and sweet and bake beauti-
fully.
The Mathews journal. (Mathews C.H. [Court House]) 1903-1937, 1905-08-03
View Of Happiness.

I have been trying to figure out
general condition Of happiness, and I
reach the conclusion that 1t consists
mainly in the ability to march with
ones own generation, neither deplor-
ing the progress the generation makes
nor grumbling because 1t doesn't make
more, says Frank Putnam in the Ma
tional Magazine. We can understand
best the men and women of our own
age. or near 1T. DR.. Osler spoke truth
when he said that most men cease to
be receptive to new ideas after 40;
hence our elders in the sos and COS
and 70s, say. who have ably guided
the affairs Of the world during the
decades Immediately ahsad of us will
often seem to us to nave less rapidly
than we think they should, toward
new industrial conditions And the
generation Immediately behind us
the restless chaps in their 20s. are
putting more pressure upon us from
the rear than We are able to believe
is wholly justified.
The Mathews journal. (Mathews C.H. [Court House]) 1903-1937, 1905-08-03
MUCH IN LITTLE.

Lord Kelvin was 81 years old on June
26
London has succeeded in telephoning
10 Rome, but the results were very ur
satisfactory.
An automobile show is to be held in
connection with the next Mardi Gras at
New Orleans.
The United States government is hav-
ing seven motor boats built for the life
saving service.
A sunfish weighing over 1000 pound:
was caught last week at Santa Bar
bara, Cal 1t was II feet long.
Thery, two-time winner of the Gordon
Bennett Cup, will, it is said, come to this
country next fall iii the hope of lifting
the Vanderbilt Cup.
When the newest English "pcnny-in-
the-slot" apparatus receives its coin a
music box al distance, as in another
room, begins to play, being operated by
wireless telegraphy.
Banaharina, the new -four Of fine quail
ily from the plantan, is reported to have
proven an agreeable and healthful food
in Venezuela, where it seems 10 be gain.
ing favor, it is especially recommended az
nutritous food for children and inya
The Mathews journal. (Mathews C.H. [Court House]) 1903-1937, 1905-08-03
COMMERCIAL REVIEW.

r. 6. Dun & Co.'S Weekly Review
of Trade" says:
Commercial tendencies are still in
the direction of improvement, although
progress is hampered by some infa-
ton OF prices for the raw materials of
textile and footwear industries. Con-
hdence expands as the crops are Sc
cured, each day putting a large quantity
OF grain beyond danger, and making
sensational rumors of loss less effec-
tive. Weather conditions have been ia
vorable for retail distribution. reduced
stocks in the hands of dealers being
reflected in enlarged wholesale and job
bing demands. Evidences Of faith in
the future are increasing, more dispo-
Sitlon being shown to provide for re-
quirements beyond immediate consump-
ton.
Resumption of work at several steel
plants teStihes TO the brevity of the mid
summer period of dullneSs Confidence
IN the future is so general in this IN
dustry that it would be most surpriS-
ing II expected activity failed to mateIi~
alize
Failures this week numbered ga i'm
the United States, against 22o last year,
and p IN Canada, compared with Is
year ago"
Bradstreet's says:
The Summer shutdown OF glass fac
tories will be the shortest reported in
many years. Building is more active
throughout the country, confirming the
most optimistic predictions made earlier
in the season.
Wheat, including -four, exports for
the week ending July n, are 864, lao
bushels, against 7o5,32o last week; l.
oI3,2o5 this week last year, 3,IoI,442 in
1908, and 438S,s34 in 1902 Corn ex-
ports for the week are 1864 bushels,
against I,Io3,47o last week, 4I5,844
year ago, o28,S3o in 1908, and 2S,4o5 in
1902"
The Mathews journal. (Mathews C.H. [Court House]) 1903-1937, 1905-08-03
EVER TREAT YOU SOP
CofTee Acts the Jonah and viii Come o

A clergyman who pUrSues bis noble
calling i'll a country parish in Iowa
tells of his coffee experience:
MY wife and used coffee regularly
for breakfast, frequently for dinner
and occasionally for supper-always
the very best quallty-package coffee
never could find a place on our table.
I'm the spring of 1896 my wife was
taken with violent vomiting, which
we had great difficulty in stopping.
ut seemed to come from coffee drink
ing. but we could not decide
I'm the following July, however, she
was attacked a second time by the
vomiting. 1 was away from home FILL
ing an appointment at the time, and on
my return L found her very low; she
had literally vomited herself almost to
death, and it took some days to quiet
the trouble and restore her stomach.
II had also experienced the same
trouble, but not so violently, and had
relieved it each time by a resort to
medicine.
But my wife's second attack salts
fed me that the use of coffee was at
the bottom of our troubles. and so we
stopped 1t forthwith and took on Pos
tum Food Coffee. The old symptoms
Of disease disappeared, and during the
years that we have been using Pos
tum instead of coffee we have never
had a recurrence of the vomiting. We
never weary of Postum. to which we
know we owe our good health. This is
a simple statement of facts" Name
given by Postum Company. Battle
Greek. Mich.
Read the little book, "Ths Road to
MELVILLE" In each Pig.
The Mathews journal. (Mathews C.H. [Court House]) 1903-1937, 1905-08-03
Live Stock

Chicago, Ill-CA I T L E - Market
steady; good to prime steers, 5.25@5.75;
poor to medium, 3.6o05.I5; stockers and
feeders, 2.Iold4.4o; COWS, 2.4o04.4o;
heifers, 2.25G475; Gamers, I.4o@2.4o ;
bulls, 2.25G375; calves, 100000; Tex
as fed steers, 3.oo04So.
HOGS-Marllet Ioc. lower; mixed and
butchers, 5.35G6.oo; good TO choice
heavy, 5.75@5.o215: rough heavy, 5000
500; light. $4,000; bulk of sales
5.65d sos.
SHEEP-Sheep steady; lambs weak :;
good to choice wethers. 4-75@5.4o; fair
to choice mixed, 3.5oO4.6o; native lambs.
4.5o(07.5o.
New York.-BEEVES - Market fiat
and nearly half the cattle unsold; steers.
I5c to zoe. lower; fat and medium cows,
lower; thin COWS, steady on light re-
ceipts; bologna bulls about steady !;
steers, 4.oo@5.35;, bulls, 3.250+.oo;
COWS, z.oo03.7o; exports tomorrow, 765
cattle and $50 quarters of beef.
HOGS-Market steady; good medium
State hogs, $40
The Mathews journal. (Mathews C.H. [Court House]) 1903-1937, 1905-08-03
Scott and the Simple Life.


Sir Walter Scott was an out-of-
doors man, as he had been n tramp
ing boy, says McClures. It is impos-
sible to think of him without his
horses and dogs. His duties as sher-
III took him across country contin-
ually, and he always had more months
out of Edinburgh that IN ii, notwith-
standing his court clerkship. He was
thus in constant contact with Scotch
life and country, and he never 10.
or relaxed his first impulse to know
and see with his eyes, so far as eyes
could see it, all the local history He
was also in love with the genius of
Scotland as it was stamped in the
people OF all sorts and conditions. HUI
man nature, the rough, hard article
free from its alloy of the town. was
treasure trove to him. On those an
nual raids into LiddesdaIe," and on
many another journey, he made him
self master of this book of truth out
Of which came so much of the char
acter, anecdote and phrase that are
most sterling. real and humorsome in
his books.