New-York tribune., 1905-01-01
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

A suit for breach Of promise OF marriage came
up before Lord ErsHine when as Chief Justice OF
England he presided at the Chelmsford Assizes.
Miss TickeN was the plaintiff. Her counsel.
solemn young barrister named Stanton opened the
case thus: "TickeH. the plaintiff, my lord" Erskine
dryly interrupted him with: "oh. tickle her your
self, Mr.. Stanton. It would be unbecomins to my
position"
tbynuar o1s ses Of chicken-pox and when the min
isterIs wife met little Annie Simmons she naturally
gs so%s 69w fhs en sd TaS whc shy
and noncommittal Young person a6 81 tb ,,stera
He couldn't bo so very much better" said Annie.
cause he's too Httle."-(Youth's Companion
Their. are some remarkable incidents In connec-
ton with the Welsh revival. Elaborate prepara-
tons were made for ball at Pontycymrner, but
owing TO the revival only four women attended
The secretary and several dancers were converted
On the way to the ballroom. and suddenly oster-
mined TO attend prayer nesting instead
Sure sign-Ernie-Belle is trying to convincs peo-
Pc Eva1Does 1a-1 She go around quoting Latin and
GFsed Efnje-No. she says "oh. fudgor' ana "Ans
skigy!"-(Chicago News.
A Japanese statistical pamphlet states that
Japanese may divorce his wife for talking TOO
much The latest annual figures show thar with
fewer than three hundred thousand japanese mar
rases reported in the year there were more than
sixty thousand divorces. TOXIC may yet supplant
Sioux Falls as the resort OF the msnated
ETIQUETTE.
If you're provoked to sayins things. just bear this
The T use e. of gorgeous cusswords is abused;
The warmer members now avoid all snowy e1-
The nnembroidered damn" is much mOree, used!
One man in the West who confident President
Roosevelt would carry Missouri was Representa-
tive James A. Taw1ley. OF Minnesota, who was in
charge of the speakers bureau OF the Chicago
branch OF the Republican national headquarters.
Tawney talked about Missouri going Republican
until he became a pest. On election night the
clerks in his bureau gave him Masonic seal ring,
set with diamonds, but in the place Of the large
diamond that should have been in the centre there
was a hole. What's this hole?' asked Tawney.
after he mad expressed his thanks. Oh said tho
clerks well fill that with diamond when Mis-
souri, goes Republican And said Tawney, tell
ing the story with great glee. you should have
seen them searching themselves for enough money
for that diamond along about midnight"
A Defnitiou.-Iittle Clarence-Pa, what is an
who doesn't care what happens ii it doesn't happen
to him.-(Puck
Little Lsbeth attended her first church service
Christmas Day. She was interested as long the
places were found for her and she could hold the
little prayer book but after the long prayers began
them any longer. she whispered to her mother:
Mamma. l don't want you to go TO sleep any
more
Her MeanIng-Ass Jenkns-''Yes. she did say
something about you. but don't know whether IL
%Ss m6an 70 }sTc 9e PimpFessed her, he Vel she
merely commented your blooming check -
CPhiladelphia Ledger
Many queer things find their way TO the auction
block but London may claim the queerest i'll the
recent sale Of Hell" The He'll in question was
constructed by the late r. s Wilson. OF Tuxford
Hall Nottinghamsh.re and Is artificial cavern
in which were placed representations OF all the
spirits which. in Mr.. Wilson'S opinion. worked evil
and not righteousness in the world. At It's portals
sat Satan himself holding skull in his hands and
in the cavern were to be found his most faith
fuI servitorE intemperauce. tobacco, pri"stcfaft
religious lawyer and time server. and many other
personifcations The late President Kruger. also.
given a place among these unworthtes, prob
ably upon the principle which Dante
structed his Inferno and placed therein persons
and characters he did not like. When these grim
figures we're put up at auction his satanic majesty
went at a bargain for 50 s2 price mat suggests
that the bidder Keeps a sharp eye Monday bar
gain sales. A minor devil brought only 81 50 and
the other occupants of this improvised inferno
fetched prices accordingly.
story is told about Francis Parkman the his
torian which shows that IN spite OF impaired eye
sight. III was not blind 10 injustice. friend met
him walking along The street holding two street
boys by their coat collars. In reply 10 his friends
request for an explanation Parkn1an said; 'I found
this boy had eaten an apple without dividing With
his little brother; New I'm going 70 buy one for
the little boy and make the big one look on while
he eats t.'-gSt Nicholas