The San Francisco call., 1905-08-06

Many Of US grow tired at times of the
irksome grooves Of conventionality.
But loi here we have it. Go shed your
duds, get into a bathing suit. and en-
JOY the free and easy ethics of the
water. If you have been trying TO fiirt
with a girl on your block for a year
and haven't made the rifle, why see if
she can swim; find out the baths she
attends; get into your suit, happen to
bump UP against her, splash a little
water on her accidentally, and dear me.
you're the best of friends in jiffy. 1t
really puzzles me. this thing of wom-
ans conduct in the water. If you're
a better swimmer than she is. she
straightaway wants TO learn; If she's
a better swimmer than you, a man,
Lord love you, the tank can't hold
her. In the first place she hunbles
herself to you; in the second. elevates
herself above you; and in both is
graciously hirtatious.
woman dressed in the conventional
way. dancing. playing the piano. riding
or driving, is the real woman; or whe-
ther this other likable creature who
disports metmaidenIy and kicks her
twinklers all over the place. is the
woman. I rather suspect the latter
Not that there is anything wrong! oh
dear no But a sort Of a-er- playful lit
tie fit seems to come over them, which
is most enjoyable. I guess the whole
proposition is a question of getting
little closer to first principles; little
away from the straitjacket of conven-
tionality.
If any Of you other dubs haven't gone
on your summer vacation and are going
to a place where there is water, and
can't swim. listen: that's what did, too
I could make bluff before an unsophis-
ticated damosel at rowing boat, riding
a horse well broken to the walk, and
tripping a number nine fantastically.
But when the adorable daughter of
wealth whom 1 was endeavoring to land
to replenish my defunct exchequer got
into bathing suit, and the chap 1 had
bumped in the matter OF the chargers
began TO swim figure eights all arouud the
adorable figure, tickle her under the chin
on the bald pretext that he had to do it
TO keep her afloat, and finally lug her
out 10 the raft and sit all cuddly and
carefree, and twinkle his toes with hers.
well, loaded up on stogies and a flask
and hied me up to the summit Of a noun
tain, far, far from the twinkling toeses,
and sat down hard.
No, take 1t from me-youre not IN
II if you don't swim. You may play
tennis and polo. ride like a Comanche
OF. pull u boat with a thirty eight
stroke, but when they take the after
noon swim. it's you to the chennise
brush 70 wait till the agony is over.
You might kinder loaf around the bath
house, but you will find the strain of
trying to look as though you enjoyed it
a little wearing.
It's peculiar, too, in a way, the man
ncr in which girls take to the water
above all things. and the infinitesimal
percentage of girls who can SWIM, de-
spite the fact that they go through the
same chin tickling and toe twinkling
relaxation year after year. Sometimes,
away down in the basement of my
sub-consciousness 1 think that that's
about all they go in the water for, any
how; that and the vouchsafed privilege
of the bathing suit of displaying lit
tie greater length OF hosiery than the
amenities of conventional garb allow.
If a woman doesn't adorn a bathing
suit. she thinks she does; and If she
does. then you can gamble she knows
she does. In both cases they are salts
fed. and so the tickling and twinkling
go happily on
Having rid my system of these few
remarks on the side, we will return to
where L was sitting upon the noun
tain top. tip top, with my consolation.
Sitting there in the solitude of that top.
with the sylvan glades and other poetical
things. ! framed a mighty resolution.
When got back to town would swim l
shook hands on it and the tumble bugs
bore witness So that's how when I
got back from my vacation / nosed
around to find competent swimming
teacher. That's how I found Dan Car