Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1905-03-08
Old Maids Convene.


The Old Maids Convention, alias
"Woman's Single Blessedness De.
batting society,"" held a very interest,"
Ing session last Thursday evening at
the opera house. The session was a
public one and the "visitors gallery"
was packed with eager spt ctstors,
who followed the proceedings With the
utmost interest and attention. The
hall had been ftttngly decorated for
the occasion with strings OF green and
red hearts. Cards, bearing inscrip-
tions like, "Why Don't Men Propose"
and "Single B!essedness a Fake"
adorned the walls, while from over
the fireplace the likenesses of Is sim.
movable" bachelors looked with SEEM
ing Indifference and contempt upon
the doings of the society.
The meeting was called to order by
the president, Mrs. Martin Bitterness.
after which Mrs. c. E. Hornbeck, act
ing as secretary, read the minutes,
which were "unanimously" rejected
and approved. The members, number
ing about 20, responded to roll call
by giving favorite quotations on
"Love" and "Man." A few recita-
tions on the same topics were also
given and rather ''lengthy'
woman's rights petition to be sent to
the national legislature, was read by
Miss Sophia Stuckup and the maids
showed their approval of it by ap-
plauding most vociierous'y. But it
was at singing that the Single Bless
edness Debating society scored it's
highest triumph. The debaters sang
several numbers with q pathos and
feeling that was literally "heart rend-
ing" Now aud then q member OF the
chorus would be entirely overcome by
her fleeing emotions, but generally
they managed to control themselves
pretty we'll and they always finished
in most artistic manner.
While the convention was in session,
Prof. Make Over, alias Geo. w. Tyler,
appeared on the scene with his wonder
full machine, capable of transforming
"any old maid" into whatever shape
she desired. This announcement at
once: put the meeting out Of balance.
Everybody made grand rush for the
professor and it was only by = series
OF vigorous and long continued knocks
with the presidential hammer that the
presiding officer was able to restore
order. Finally, however, peace again
reigned and one by one the spinsters
walked into the machine to return a
moment later very much improved
physically and mentally.
The program which followed was
much enjoyed and every number Was
heartily encored. Mrs. Knebel and
John Gorwell each sang a vocal solo
in q splendid manner; Lewis Hanscom
played a fine cornet solo; Miss Marion
Lewis gave recitation with marked
ability. But the chief honors of the
evening no doubt went to little Miss
Fern Whitman, niece of Mrs. c. U.
Barck, and Clarence Olson, a son of
c. A. Olson. They sang "Teasing"
and incidentally also "acted" a little
and when they had finished, the audi
ence showed their appreciation by an
applause that did not cease till the
youthful performers responded to an
encore.
The St. Agnes Guild, under whose
auspices the Old Maids Convention
was given, deserve much credit for
the splendid manner in which the en-
tertainment was given.
The seat sale for this attraction was
unusually large and the ladies realized
the neat sum of $l09 as a result of
their successful effort.