davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
A Soft Answer.

Here is a story about Sir Patrick
Talbot, sergeant at arms in the house
Of lords. He had been private secre-
tary to the great Lord Derby when
prime minister and afterward married
one of his daughters. One day when
a large party was present at Knowl-
sey Lord Derby burst out at table with
the remark, Its a curious thing one
never knows what a lot of fools there
are in England until one becomes
prime minister Thereupon Talbot, at
the other end Of the table, said, Eyes,
and one never knows what a fool a
prime minister may be until one be-
comes his private secretary" Lord
Derbys reply was, THANK you, Pat
Dundee Advertiser.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
The Stars and Stripes,

A German periodical has the follow
ing story as to the origin of the stars
and stripes: The idea originated with
a Dane named Marker. He was born
on the island of ST. Croix of the Danish
West Indies, where his father and
grandfather had lived. In 1895 he left
his native island and proceeded to Phil
adelphia. He was among the first to
join company of volunteers for
American liberty and independence.
For valor shown at Orislany he was
elected captain, and to show his graft
tude he designed flag in whose upper
corner he applied the thirteen stars
emblematic of the thirteen original
states Of the Union. This was the first
occasion upon which the star span
gled banner was unfurled. The origi-
nal flag of Captain Marker Is supposed
to be In existence in some national col
lection of relics Of the war Of the Revo-
luton
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
The RuGeSt Man of His Age.

John Hunter, the famous British sur
geon, anatomist, psychologist and med
zeal writer, who died in 1893, was one
Of the rudest men Of his age. He re-
turned home late one evening from his
round Of professional calls and found
his wife entertaining few friends.
Grimly he walked into the center of the
room, stopped and looked around. II
knew nothing Of this kick up" be said,
"and ought to have been Informed. AS
l have returned home for the purpose
Of studying, I hope the present COM
pany will retire at once They retired.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
ON the Black Mountain.

Nothing strikes visitor to the Black
mountain more forcibly than the per-
feet security Of country where every
man Is a warrior and goes about his
daily business with his revolver in his
belt. The traveller is sacred to the
Montenegrins, whose manners prove
the truth Of the saying that they are
the aristocracy Of the Servian race.
Dressed in their picturesque national
Rarb Of blue knickerbockers, white gal
tiers and crimson jackets, with pork pie
caps of scarlet and black on their
heads, the mountuincers look the beau
ideal Of a nation of fighters, such, as
the old Greeks must have been in the
days when they all carried arms. Their
whole history during the five centuries
Of Montenegrin independence has been
one long series Of frontier feuds, and
even now guerrilla warfare on the AL
bantam border is not extinct. But to
the stranger within their gates, what
ever be his nationality, the mountain
GERS are friendly and hospitable. -
Westminster Review.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
Hats In Parliament.

During the reign Of King John Q1a9)
the king agreed to settle the difficulty
with Philip II. of France respecting the
Dutchy Of Normandy by single com
bat. John, earl Of Ulster, was the
English champion, and as soon as he
appeared on the field Of combat his
adversary put spurs to his horse and
fed, leaving the earl master Of the
field. King John asked the earl what
his reward should be. ''Titles and land
I want not" he replied. but in remem-
brance Of this day I beg the boon, for
myself and my successors, to remain
covered in the presence of your majes=
ty and all other sovereigns Of this
realm" This request was granted and
never revoked, and it is said to account
for the custom in parliament of mem
bers wearing their hats.-London Stand
ard
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
Washington's Birthday.

The first known celebration of Wash
ington's birthday was on Feb. II, 1854.
The old style date was still adhered to,
This was during the lifetime Of the
first president and completed his fifty
third year. The following is from the
Pennsylvania Packet of Philadelphia
of the date of Tuesday, Feb. II, 1884:
New York, Friday, Feb. 13.-Wednes-
day last being the birthday of his ex-
cellency General Washington the same
was celebrated by all the true friends
of American independence and consti-
tutional liberty with that hilarity and
manly decorum ever attendant on the
sons of freedom. In the evening an
entertainment was given on board the
East India ship in this harbor to a
very brilliant and respectable company,
and discharge Of thirteen cannon was
fred on the joyful OCCASION The OBJ
servance Of the day was not confined
to New York city.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
Webster aa q Enrmer.

Webster was a scientific farmer. He
believed thoroughly in the value of
blooded stock. At Marshfield he had a
herd Of sixty or eighty head of cattle
composed entirely of thoroughbred an
imals-of Attorneys, Ayrshires and
Devons. He had several yoke of Dev-
on oxen, which were his particular
pride. Besides, there were blooded
sheep and swine. All in all, Webster
was considered by his neighbors the
best farmer of the country. He was,
moreover, a friend generous and con-
siderate. There used to be a saying
down Plymouth way that stranger
could always tell when Webster was at
home by the cheerful looks Of the peo-
pie for ten miles around.-Oliver Bron-
son Capen in Country Life In America.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
Roman IaunnS.

Roman lamps were Of many sizes,
but most Of them very closely resem-
bled what is at present denominated !;
sauce or gravy boat. At one end there
was a ring, through which the fnge,
was passed when the light was carried.
The body of the vessel was filled with
oil, and at the other end there was a
small tube, through which rag wick
was passed. When this was lighted the
smoke and odor of the rancid fat en-
ployed were extremely offensive. Many
Roman poets mention the abominablc
effluvium sent out by the lamps at thu
feaStS.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
A South African Name.

The hardy Boer voortrekkers had 4
fine sense of poetry in naming places
in South Africa. In the Transvaal
there is a place which rejoices in the
name Of Observation-Disclosures
fontein ''It is name" says Cape
Town exchange, (which speaks of lei
sure, whose gentle invitation to the
thirsty traveller to rest little by the
brook beneath the cool shade Of the
tree calls up at once the thought Of a
green oasis in dry and barren land"
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
A Freak OF Death Valley.

Saratoga springs is one Of the freaks
Of Death valley and has probably
caused more profanity than anything
else in the region The waters are as
clear as crystal. and they bubble up
from a deep, sandy basin like we'll
spring Of JOY. But they are strongly
impregnated with sulphur and other
minerals, are tepid in temperature and
act instantly like an emetic upon any
one who drinks them.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
Baseball In the Bible,

Johnson-You say that you knows
about the Bible? Well, what's in it
about baseball, do yer knows? Walters
Why, dey amt muffin in the Bible
bout baseball. Johnson-Dey certainly
am. Didn't Noah put the dove out Oh
long f1y?-New York Times.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
Mans HelDmeet.

She was not made out of his head to
top him. not out of his feet to be tram
pied upon by him, but out Of his side
to be equal with him, under his arm to
be protected and near his heart to be
loved-Matthew Henry.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
Mime. de 1YatntenOux

Once when Nine de Maintenon, who
had risen from the gutter to grandeur,
was looking pensively IN the golden
pool at Versailles her companion, not
ing the fish in the crystal water, OBJ
served, How languid the carp are "
"Yes," replied the famous beauty, with
sigh, they are like me; they miss
their mud
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
OUR GUARANTEES,

We guarantee first, that GUIANA
Will cure all the diseases us described in
the above list. We next state to Won
that if you find that, after taking the
first large bottle of Guiana, you do not
see any improvement in your case, come
back to US with the empty bottle and
get your money back. We Will forfeit
500 for any case of catarrh that we
cannot cure if our medicine is taken as
directed.
Our mission is to cure diseases, and
we realize that people are tired of being
humbugged into buying worthless stuff
sold under guarantee to cure, and finally
being swindled out Of their money, We
don't want your money unless we can
hel p you. We have a medicine, not an
alcoholic beverage which aggravates
your disease when the effects of the in
toxicant is gone, and leaves you worse
Off than before, with the added curse of
the whisky or drug habit fastened upon
you.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
Not travelling Inccrnitn

"Miss Smiley is going to travel IN
der an assumed name"
"You surprise mer'
"Yes; she is going to be married next
week and start on her honeymoon
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
he NES No Settler

n suppose that old chap with the
long white whiskers over there Is one
Of your old settlers, isn't he?" said the
grocery drummer
II reckon he's what yew might call a
old resident" rejoined the village mer-
chant, but he amt no old settler. He's
been a-ow1n' me for nigh on to thirty
rs."-Chicago News.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
Coauetry and Civilization

It is in a country in which the wo-
men are most coquettish that civiliza-
ton has attained it's zenith. 1t is to
the coquetry Of women that one owes
the refinement of manners Boudoir.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

To be sure that you are right is
proper, certainly. but also be sure
when you are right to so ahead.-Kan-
gas City Star.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
TIC ParYenu.

Wife-What is a parvenu? Hublet-
That's what the man who got rich ten
years ago calls the man who got rich
yesterday.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

The beauties of nature are best ad-
nired through glass-but some men
think a pocket flask answers the pur-
pose just as well.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
A street in Clifton i

A street in Clifton is ornamented by
a sign informing the passers-by that
the owner thereof is Modest and Mil
liner"
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
Western Agency.
Cuban Chemical Co
524 Boston Blk. Minneapolis

II GUIANA is not kept in stock by your re-
tail or wholesale druggist, call or address the
ABOVE number, and your order will be
we prepay freight on all orders of one doz-
en- or more dollar bottles to any part of the
United States.
Putup in two sizes, at so cents and 81. 90 per
bottle, or six large bottles for S..
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
GUIANA |CURES

Kidney Complaint, Diabetis,
Liver Disease, Sick Headache,
Bladder Troubles Malaria,
rheumatism, Consumption,
Dyspepsia, Catarrh,
Oiarrhoea. Coughs,
CoStiYeneSS, Eczema,
ScrOfula, Boils,
Colds, La Grippe Pimples, Piles,
Blood HumorS, Frequent Urination,
Dropsy, All Urinary Disorders
Female Weakness Erysipeias,
lmpotency, All Private Diseases
Painful and Irregular Menstration.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

a still more singular sign said to have
been set up by dentist at Fleetwood.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

Courtship seems like a dream to
the average girl, and after marriage
she wakes up and finds it was.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

In another town can be seen the in
scription, Cole and Wood, Dealers in
Wood and Coal"
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

Wealth is no more an evidence OF
refinement than costly churches are
of their congregations piety.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

A London shop sign reads, PLOTS
for Novels or Short Stories Prices
reasonable
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
HUMOROUS SIGNS.

Above an establishment in Liver
pool appears the legend "Rages and
Bones"
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

A sign board in Lancashire an
nounces the following miscellaneous
articles: Bibles, Blackballs and But
ter; Testaments, Tar and Treacle;
Cody Books and Gimblets sold here"
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

Tie worst tyrants are those who
have been emancipated from tyranny.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

During courtship a man imagines
he can teach a widow a few things,
but after marriage he discovers that
she has forgotten more than he ever
knew.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
Cured of Running Sores.
Mr.. Julius Roes of Minneapolis says

For years suffered from running sores in
he ears, caused by scarlet fever when was
years old. paid out hundreds of dollars
TO doctors and specialists in this and the old
,'ountry. Found no relief until used bot
Ties of Guiana and found myself cured.
There has been nc. recurrence Of the disease
-lrn-t To @ nra nj tirnn -
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
An Only Daughter
Cured of Consumption.

When death was hourly expected, all
NEEDLES having failed, and DR.. H.
ames was experimenting with the
many herbs of Calcutta, he accident
lily made d preparation which cured
lis only child of consumption. His
:hild is now in this country, and en-
Dying the best of health. He has
proved to the world that Consumption
AN #be positively and permanently
ured. The Doctor now gives this
recipe free, for two 2-cent stamps to
pay Expenses. This herb also cures
Night Sweats. Nausea at the Stomach
and will break up a fresh cold in
twentv-four hours. Address GRAD
DOCK & CO., 1892, Race St., Phila-
delphia, naming this paper.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

Many man is so lazy that he
would rather let his wife pay the rent
than exert himself by moving.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
MAxiMS, WISE AND OTHERWISE

- suit for divorce is simply an au-
topsy on poor little Cupid's remains.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

Beauty when unadorned is all right
in art museums, but no woman was
ever made ugly by a handsome gown.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

This curious specimen OF ortho-
graphy was displayed in a street in
Marylebone: THE Mangelling Traid
removed hear from the streete round
the Corner. Threehapence a duzzen.
N. B.-New Milk and Greene Sould
Hear, Warranted Fresh and not stall
every mornin."
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

Economy may be the road to wealth,
but no one has ever become wealthy
by economy alone
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

he man who joins g church to Sc
cure the patronage of it's members is
grand marshal in the parade OF hypo-
critics.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

At Tynemouth, some thirty years
ago, there appeared the alarming an
nouncement ''VisitOrs are cautioned
against bathing within a hundred
yards Of this spot. Several persons
have been drowned by order of the
authorities II A. T.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

A sign over bicycle repairing shop
in Acre Lane, BriXton, reads: Day
and Knight, Established 1904 B. c.,
the oldest firm in the world"
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

The Cuban Chemical Co.,
am IS old and strong and healthy without PAIN
doing
Win Crh for y which finally threw incpen
and
of
would not be without Cub had
it in the hode family
them all we'll will cheeruy
Know many lives can be saved by that
j. DEWITT SPENCER.
l45l West Lake St." Minneapolis Mimi.
delay write today You afford
health Any diseased
ITSELF Guiana natures remedy Ia
will
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
WORDS OF A WISE WOMAN.

Wise is the man who can be silent
III any subject.
An Industrious wife is often a mans
oi.ly visible means of support.
man can drink himself tighter
than woman can lace herself.
The pain of a lost love is the price
Lany a woman has paid for home.
Marriage is great help to some
men; it makes them think more and
talk less.
Some men will work twice as hard
20 get divorce as they will to sup
port wife D..
clerk to palm himself off for a $1,000
hotel waiter.
Some men are surprised when they
discover that the truth answers bet
Ger than a lie.
The self-made man resembles
hand organ whose repertoire consists
II but one tune
No man is always right-and if he
is a married man his wife knows that
he's navpr ri oh
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

A man who is afraid of falling nev-
er climbs very high.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

Love gives no license to dispense
with courtesy.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

No man is always right-and if he
is a married man his wife knows that
he's never right.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

A woman to be perfectly happy
must feel that she has had something
to do with reforming the man she
loves.-Smith's Magazine.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
ORIGIN AL
ALBRIGHT
Fur Quality

Means the finest furs that
money can buy. Made only
by E. Albrecht & Son, St.
P aul, who have set the
standard of fur quality for
half a century. The most
beautiful furs made in every correc,
and wearable style. Novelties in
Neckwear-Exclusive Specialties in
Fur Wear. Prices lower, quality con-
sidered, than factory made trash.
q See the International Fur Authority at
our store for Correct Fur Styles.
For sale by Ochs Bros.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

Habit may be one of our best allies
as we'll as one of our worst enemies.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

A combination of Roots, Herbs, Banks
Gums and Balsams of the island of Cuba
scientifically prepared and blended for
the prevention and cure of disease.
This medicine has been used in various
forms by the Cubans for hundreds of
years. The native shrubs and vegeta-
Die life OF this tropical island are high
ly medicinal, nurtured and warmed by
a tropical sun and rlpened by soft sea
breeaes. They bring the health and in
yigolating properties of the ocean to
your very doors.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

Fashions move in circles, and you
have only to get far enough behind
to be in the lead
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11
LITTLE THINKS.

To succeed be devoted, but not de-
pendent.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

Happy is the man who is too busy
to find fault.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

The self-made man resembles a
hand organ whose repertoire consists
# but one tune.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-10-11

he can teach a widow a few things,
but after marriage he discovers that
she has forgotten more than he ever
knew
HUMOROUS SIGNS.
Above an establishment in Liver
pool appears the legend RACES and
Bones"
A London shop sign reads, PLOTS
for Novels or Short Stories. Prices
reasonable
In another town can be seen the in
scription, Cole and Wood, Dealers in
Wood and Coal"
Teeth Pulled While You Wait" is
a still more singular sign said to have
been set up by a dentist at Fleetwood.
A street in Clifton is ornamented by
a sign informing the passers-by that
the owner thereof is Modest and Mil
liner"
A sign over bicycle repairing shop
in Acre Lane, BriXton, reads: Day
and Knight, Established 1904 B. c.,
the oldest firm in the world
A sign board in Lancashire an
nounces the following miscellaneous
articles: Bibles, Blackballs and But
ter; Testaments, Tar and Treacle;
Cody Books and Gimbets sold here"
This curious specimen OF Ortho
graphy was displayed in a street in
Marylebone: THE Mangelling Traid
removed hear from the streete round
the Corner Threehapence a duzzen
N. B.-New Milk and Greene Sould
Hear, Warranted Fresh and not stall
every mOrnin."
At TynemOuth, some thirty years
ago, there appeared the alarming an
nouncement ''Visitors are cautioned
against bathing within a hundred
yards of this spot. Several persons
have been drowned by order of the
authorities. IT. A. T.
MAxiMS, WISE AND OTHERWISE.
- suit for divorce is simply an au-
topsy on poor little Cupid's remains.
Tie worst tyrants are those who
have been emancipated from tyranny.
Economy may be the road to wealth,
but no one has ever become wealthy
by economy alone
Wealth is no more an evidence OF
refinement than costly churches are
of their congregations piety.
Beauty when unadorned is all right
in art museums, but no woman was
ever made ugly by handsome gown.
he man who joins g church to Sc
cure the patronage of it's members is
grand marshal in the parade OF hypo-
critics.
A woman to be perfectly happy
must feel that she has had something
to do with reforming the man she
loves.-Smith's Magazine.
LITTLE THINKS.
To succeed be devoted, but not de-
pendent.
Happy is the man who is too busy
to find fault.
Love gives no license to dispense
with courtesy.
A man who is afraid of falling new
er climbs very high.
Habit may be one of our best allies
as well as one of our worst enemies.
Fashions move in circles, and you
have only to get far enough behind
to be in the lead.