Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-05-20

de cart drag it to de surface, haul 1t nun
dreds of miles by cars, den more miles by
carts trough our streets, den run IL INTO
our Easements wit sounds dat is sending
many useful citizens to grateful, dough
early deaf. and when we have got a little
heat out of it we carts it away again In de
form of ashes, to be carried furder away
by boats and from de mines TO its last rest
ing Mace de cost of hauling, carting, shoV-
cling cartng again, towing and dumping
makes up about nine-tent's of de whole eX-
pense of getting a little of de neat OUT OF
it. OATS what science lets us do,
What should science dog" says MISS ran
ME.
..Toin de coal into lectricity at de very
mout of de mine, and send US de leetrlclty
for heat, light and power over a nice, cIean
copper wire" says Mr. Paul Dat would
save cost, labor, dirt, inconvenience moves
healt, storage room manners and morals
1t would free de railroads from miles OF
trains. keep our streets free from tousands
of coal carts, save furnaces, do away VIII
de trouble and cost and dirt of taking away
ashes leave de air free of smoke, and make
US believe dat science amounts TO sonnet ing
Dat we go to all de trouble, expense. bod
der risk, sickness, sudden deatand clnders
for to get our coal and boin 1t is proof DAT
we are a stupid lot of ignorant slules VINO
spend so much time talking about de Won
ders of science dat we have no time left 10
make science do anything wort mentioning.
Half de towns of California is supplied Wit
heat, light and power by waterfall nun
all goes TO de towns over a few copper
wires and morals art and a genius Tor
good cokng are triving and growing IN dat
country as never before.
But" says Miss Fannie, 'if we didnt
boin coal in de winter. what would de man
sprinkle de sidewalk ice? 1t seems TO
me TO be lovely. and sort of arranged by
heaven, dat de time de sidewalk Ice Is IN
season is de very same season dat We has
ashes to sprinkle on it
Mr.. Paul fought a while, den he says.
You are right, me dear am wrong ana
you and science is right-just de same kind
of right. Science is a wonder. and so is
woman's mind Let Chames fetch small
bottle for l wishes to study how science
gets de suds inside de bottle without making
hole in it. l takes off me bonnet to
science
| rink Mr. Paul must been jollying. for
dere is something in science; and one of de
things dat l wonders al is de science OF max
ing a front. Dere is more men dan houses
in New York dat has fronts TO 'em dat don
fit, or don't even belong I'm on TO one
laddie buck dat has been making front of
being a village cut-up in dis little old town
longer dan has been alive. But, say, he is
furder from being a cut-up dan one end or
a stick is from de odder-and OATS as far
as can be. All de time he has been making
comic speeches at dinners, or steering of
unfrendly laws at Albany or Washington,
for de good of de boss who owns him, he
has been playing a game of his own VIII
marked cards-and an extra supply up MS
sleeve-dat would make Skin-game short
card man feel like he was a colcuS ReuDe.
But somebody is on to his coives. Dere is
a hunk of gossip going around de picnic
ground dat will make sonnet ing doing when
de rumor gets TO Mr.. Jerome, and 1t is tray
cling his way fast. l never got out no IL
cense for a fortune teller, but listen to
your Uncle Chimmie: Before anodder year
is give de bye-bye dere Will be place to
LET in de United States Senate what won't
happen because of term expired or sudden
deaf But, honest, de science dat laddie
has worked all desc years to make de front
of being just dear, cunning, old cut-up
beats all de science dat is used in building
de Williamsburg bridge. And dere is no
joke in dat.
De cut-up is one kind of a front. and de
solemn mug who couldn't be bad if he want
ed to- because he is too good 10 be spoiled
even if he was left out of de ice box over
night in a tunder storm; he is a sclentlhc
wonder too. l know of one of dose mugs
who has landed members of his family on
coitain pay rool he bosses, to de tune OF
near a quarter million year. Dat would
been no front for Spike Hennisy, or a
Yeggman, but de beauty of dis front is DAT
if de mug I'm singing about and de relatives
he las Struggled into de cheese should stop
going to choich dere would be de biggest
kind of drop in de pew rents OF coitan
choich where de poor isn't let to enter
Yes indeed, honeyboy, dere is all xmas OF
fronts kept in repair dat don't cost de own
ers a ting for de repairs. But L know OF
one front dat would make you die OF laugh
ing He is de dome-of-taught line of goods
He's training wit a crew of glib boys Tor
de presidency, and his special front Is dat
he is boddered to deaf wit de press notices
he gets in de papes. If you'd hear him talk
YOU would sure t'ink dat 1t takes ms appe-
lite away to be wrote about IN de papes'
he's in de Senate, too, and has SO much 10
saw for to educate de nation dat he Is most
ly on his feet talking about things dat de-
laws de game. But he has his artful eye
out for de nomination, and Is nghtlng
wise old gazaboo dat comes from MS own