davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-01-08

porter and I went to the jail to get him out, but we had to buy new suit of clothes for him, as everything was torn or him in the Mormon rush. Dad was q sight when we found him in jail, and he thought his bones were broken, and he wanted to know what was the cause of his sudden popularity with the fair sex, and I told him 1t all came from his looking so confoundcd distinguished and his flirting with women. He said he would swear ha never looked at one of those women fp a tone of voice that would deceive a Sunday School teacher, and he felt as thought he was being misunderstood in France. We told him the only way to get out of jail was to say he was a crowned head from Oshkosh, traveiinG incog. and when he began to stand oD his dignity and demand that a mes- senger be sent for the President ot France. to apologize for the treatment ho had received. the taller and police begged his pardon and we dressed him up in his new clothes and got him out. and we went to the Eifrel tower to get some fresh air.
 suppose you have seen pictures of the Eiffel tower. on the advertisements of brakfast food in your grocery, but you can form no idea of the height and magnificence of the tower by studying advertisements. You mak think that the pictures you see of world events ol your cans of baked beans and maple syrup and coap. give you the benefit of foreign travel. but it does not. You have got to see the real thing or you are not 1t to even talk about what you think you have seen. You remember that Ferris wheel at tho Chicago Worlds Fair. and how we thought it was the greatest thing ever made of steel. so high that 1t made us dizzy to look to the top of it, and when we went up on the wheel we thought we could see the world, from Alaska to South Africa. and we marveled at the work of man and prayed that we be permitte dto get down off that wheel alive, and not be spilled down through the rarifed Chicago atmosphere and fattened on the pavement so thin we would have to be scraped up or the pavement with @ case knife, like a buckwheat cake that sticks to tho griddle.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-01-08
|PECK'SBADBOYABROAD
The Bad Boy Writes More from is-Dad Poses as a Mormon Bishop and They Climb the N Eiffel Tower.
BY HON. GEORGE W. PECK.

BY HON. GEORGE W. PECK.
 (Ex- of wisconsin. formerly
 Publisher of Peck's Sun, Author
 of ''Peck's Bad Boy" etc.)
 Copyright, 1905, by Joseph B. Bowles.)
 Paris, France.---Old Pardner in Crime: got your letter, telling me about the political campaign that is raging at home. and when read it to dad he wanted to go right out and fill up on campaign whiskey and yell for his pres idential candidate, but he couldn't find any whisky. so he has not tried to car ry any precincts of Paris for our stand ard-bearer.
 There Is something queer about the liquor here. There is no regular cam- paign beverage At homo you can se- lect drink that is appropriate for any stage of camapign. When the nom- nations are made you are not excited and beer and cheese sandwiches seem to fit the case. A little later. when the orators begin to come out into the open and shake their hair, you take cock tails and your eyes begin to resemble those of a caged rat, and you are ready to quarrel with an opponent The next stage in the campaign is the whisky stage, and when you have got plenty of 1t the campaign may be said to be OpSIIs anu yOu WGdi DAdCh CyC0 anu AOoO your teeth. and you swear strange oaths and smell of kerosene. and only sleep in the morning. Then election comes and if your side wins you drink all kinds of things at once for week, shout hoarsely and then go to the Keeley cure, but if your party loses you stay at home and take a course of treat ment for nervous prostration and say you will never mix up in another cam paign.
 Here in France it is different. The people have nervous prostration to start on, start a campaign on champagne, wind up on absinthe. and after the votes are counted go to an insane asy- lum. do not know what first got dad to drink absinthe and don't know what 1t is, but it looks like soap studs, tastes like seed cookies and smells like ver- mifuge. But 1t gets there just the same and the result of drinking 1t Is about the same as the result of drink ing anything in France-it makes you want to hug somebody.
 At home when a man gets full on whisky, he wants to hug the man he
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-01-08
Politeness Pays.

Suddenly the man fell. He was a dig nifIed person. but as he reached sleety corner his feet, set down with precision failed to stay set, says The Washington Times. They flew so high. and the result was so abrupt. that as the man hit the walk in a sitting posture observers expected to see a spine protrude from the top of his hat
 Two youths had seen tho episode. One was A bad youth, and unwise. He laugh ed The other was good youth, who knew a thing or two. He hastened to pick up the fallen man.
 '"rhank you" said the man. q am q childless millionaire. looking for an heir. You're it. Meantime take this roll and blow yourself Only one condition is attached. Don't spend cent on that laughing jack ass who is with you
 Handing over a slO.oOo bundle. and Eiv- ing his hotel address, the maR went his way.
 The moral of this is so obvious that the reader unable to discern It isn't worth bothering about
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-01-08

drinks with and weep on his collar, and then hit him on the head with a bottle; but here every kind of drink puts the drinker fin condition to want to hug. Dad says he never knew he had a brain until he learned to drink absinthe, but now he can close his eyes and see things worse than any mince pie nightmare, and when we go out among people he never sees a man at all, but when woman passes along, dads eyes begin to take turns wink ing at them and it is all I can do to keep him from proposing marriage to every woman he sees.
 I thought I would break him of this woman foolishness. so told everybody dad was a Mormon bishop. and had 8 grand palace at Salt Lake City, and owned millions of gold mines and tab ernacles and wanted to marry a thou sand women and take them to Utah and place them at the head of homes of their own, and he would just call once or twice week and leave bags of gold for his wives to spend. A newspaper reporter, that could talk about dad wanting to marry a whole lot and he said life in Utah was bet ter than a Turkish harem, cause the wives of Mormon bishop did not have to be locked up and watched by unix. but could firt and blow in money and go out to dances and have just as much fun as though they lived In New port, and had got divorces from mill lionaires, and he said any woman who wanted to marry q Mormon bishop could meet dad on the bullyvard near a certain monument. on a certain day.
 I was on to 1t, with the reporter, and we hired a carriage and went to tho bullyvard, just at the time the news paper said and I put a big red badge on dads breast, with the word bishop on 1t, and dad had been drinking ab- sinthe and he thought the badge was a kind of sign of nobility. Well, you'd adide to see the bunch of women that were there to meet dad. Whats the matter here?' said dad. as he saw the crowd of women, looking like they were there in answer to an advertise ment for nurses. told dad to stand up in the carriage, like Dowie does in Chicago. and hold out his hands and say: Bless you. my children" and when dad got up to bless them, the reporter and I got out of the carriage and the reporter, which could talk French, said for all the women who wanted to be Mormon wives to get into the carriage with the bishop and be sealed for life.
 Well. sir. you'd a thought it was a. remnant sale! More than a dozen got
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-01-08
A FULL DRESS AFFAIR
GIVES NO UNEAsINESS TO HOLTs
 CLEANING CLUB MEMEBERS.
A Clean, WelI-Pressed Suit Always Ready For Every Occasion For Only Two Dollars
 Month.

Think of the comfort, convenience and general satisfaction in having a clean, well-pressed suit always ready for every occasion! No spots, no wrin- kles, no rips, no snags. no loose but tons, no iron gloss. no bother of any kind! For only two dollars month Holt's Dye Works will keep all a mans clothes in order, sending for and de- liyering them whenever and wherever requested. They have doubled the usual pressing club rate and put on 8 service that is unsurpassed anywhere. Full details furnished with pleasure to all inouirers. adv.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-01-08
griddle.

bOurIne of the LasSte.
 You remember, old man, how you cried when our sentence to ride in the Ferris wheel expired, and the jailer of the wheel opened the cell and let us out, and you said no one would ever get you to ride again on anything that you couldn't jump out of if it baked, or you got wheels in your head and chunks of things came up to your Adams apple and choked you. We'll, cross my heart, If that Ferris wheel, that looked so big to us, would make main spring for the Eiffel tower. That tower is niger than kite, and when you get near it and try to look up to the top. you think 1t is a Joke,. and that really no one actually goes up to the top nf it. You see some flies up around the top of 1t, and when the guide tells you ths flies crawling around there are men and women, you think the guide has been drinking.
 But dad and I and the guide paid our money, got into an elevator and began to go up. After the thing had been going up awhile dad said he wouldn't go up more than a mile or so at first. and asked the man to let him off at the 3.000-foot level. but the elevator man said dad had got to take all the degrees and dad said: Let her went" and after an hour or so we got to the top.
 Gee! but I thought dad would fall dead right there, when he looked off at Paris and the world beyond. The flies we had seen at the top before starting had changed to human begins. all looking pale and scared. and the human beings on the ground had changed into flies and bugs. for all you
The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-01-08

into the carriage with dad, and about 400 couldn't get in. but when the scared driver started up the horses they all followed the carriage. and then the mounted police surrounded the whole bunch and moved them off towards the police station. and dad under the wagon load of females. each one trying to get the nearest to him so as to be his favorite wife.
 It got noised around that foreign potent-ate had been arrested with his whole harem for conduct unbecoming to a potent-ate, and so when we got to the jail dad had to be rescued from his wives, and they were driven into a side street by the police, and dad was locked up to save his life. The re-
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1905-04-14
Confederate Memorial Day.

Patton Anderson chapter, U. d. c.
again invite the Veteran Association,
the Gem City Guards, Rob't w.
Davis Guards, the Memorial Associa-
ton, the school teachers and child
rem, the Blue and Gray to attend
their memorial service at Fry's opera
house, at 3 O'Clock, Wednesday, Apr.
26th, and go from there to West View
cemetery. Those who will contrib
ute flowers are requested to please
send them to Mrs. Gray's by 10
O'Clock Wednesday morning. The
chapter will greatly appreciate it if
the people will not decorate the pri-
waite graves on that day, as it is the
day set apart for the decoration of
the soldiers grave. The veterans
who are to receive crosses of honor
are requested to be present. Follow
ing is the program:
Favorite song of Gen. Lee-"How
Firm Foundation'--by Chapter
and Audience.
Prayer. .............R Rev. 9. t. Gates.
Recitation" Cover Them Over
Charley Anderson.
Solo-"The Old Folks at Home
Mrs. Bassett.
Address. .... Mr. f. Noble Calhoun.
Recitation-"Only Private"-Gen-
evive Philips.
C,Io - 7 =
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1905-04-14
Capt. Lucas New Steamer.

Capt. J E. Lucas has purchased
the steamer Harry Lee for his Dray-
ton Island mail and passenger SER
vice, The steamer is a beauty and
of ideal size for the purpose wanted.
But Capt. Lucas contemplates some
improvements. He will build a pas
senger cabin on the upper deck. The
steamer is swift.
Capt. Lucas purchased the boat
at st. Marys, Ga, and brought it
here on Sunday last. 1t went into
commission on Monday. Capt. and
Mrs. Lucas and little daughter came
up from st. Marys by way of the in
land route and Fernandina. They
left at a. M, on Sunday and the
boat arrived here late in the after
noon. River passengers will enjoy
the new boat.
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1905-04-14
Talented Musicians.

Mrs. John Q. Tilghman had as her
guests last week Mrs. ]. D. Cockcroft
of NOrthport, Long Island, and Mrs.
j. d. Mitchell of Huntington. The
former has been spending the winter
season at Como.
On Friday last these ladies were
guests at the musicale given by the
Woman's Fortnightly club at the
home of Mrs. Walton, contributing
much to the pleasure of the occasion
by their artistic playing and singing.
Mrs. COckcroft, lady of charming
personality, rendered two piano num-
bers in a magnificent manner, and
Mrs. Mitchell, always a favorite in
Palatka, never appeared in better
voice, and received double encores.
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1905-04-14

Capt. J. E. Lucas saved a man
from drowning at midnight on Tues
day. The captain sleeps aboard the
steamer Harry Lee. He heard a
splash and the rush of hurrying foot
steps Then he jumped from his
bed and going out heard the cry of
''nan overheard. - The Waterman
of the Hiawatha had fallen off that
boat. Two or three men stood by
anxious, but not knowing what to
do Capt. Lucas did. He reached
down, grabbed the man and pulled
him out. The man was full-of
water. Now he is full of gratitude.
Judge J. c. Vertrees of Palatka
arrived yesterday and will remain in
Leesburg for several days as the
guest of Col. }. J. Garrett. 1t is his
first visit here and he already re-
grets that he did not come sooner.
For twenty-one years Judge YER
trees has been factor in the up
building of Palatka, being interested
in several important commercial en-
terprises. He is a Tennesseean by
birth, a Methodist in faith and
democrat in politics, a trinity of vir-
tues that should carry any man
straight to heaven. We heartily
welcome the judge to the hospitali-
ties of our COMMUNICATING
Commercial.
w. B. Lucas, coIored cook of the
tug boat Hoo Hoo, disappeared last
Thursday and his whereabouts was
not known. Sunday afternoon as the
ferry was crossing the river the
sprocket chain, which reaches from
one side of the river to the other and
which passes through and pulls the
ferry, lifted to the surface the body
of man which was identified as that
of the missing Lucas. His face had
been badly eaten away by crabs, but
papers found in his pockets identi-
fled him to the satisfaction of Coro-
ner Rowton, and those who knew
the man in life. There were no
marks to indicate foul play and
nothing of the kind has been limited
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1905-04-14

If you want to get your money s
worth; and see a good COLD knock
ont, Use Peaks Pine Tar Svrun
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1905-04-14

NOTICE OF APPLICATION FOR
Tax Deed Under Section s Of Chapter
1888, Laws of Florida.
Notice is hereby given that VIM.
Miller, purchaser of Tax certificate
No. S66, dated the 4th day of July,
A. D. 1898, has filed said certificate in my
office, and has made application for tax
deed to issue in accordance with law.
Said certificate embraces the following
described property situated In Putnam
county, Florida, to wit:
PIT nwi NV of r r section q, town
ship 10, range 24-l00 acres.
The said land being assessed at the
date of the issuance of such certificate
In the name of Brown Il Dennis. In
less said certificate shall be redeem.
ed according to law, tax deed will Is.
sue thereon on the 22nd day OF April,
A. D 1905.
Witness my official signature and seal
this the 10th day of March, A. D. 1905.
Seal JOSEPH PRICE,
Clerk Circuit CT. of Putnam Co., Fla.
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1905-04-14
Important to Stockmen.

Sanford, Fla, Mar. Goth, 1905.
Alderman & Stewart,
Palatka, Fla,
Gentlemen:
Two weeks ago I purchased from
my druggist here a package of Thigh
mans Condition Powder, and write
TO say that it saved a pet heifer for
me- me. she was almost beyond aid.
salt Sick" I suppose. Judging from
tne symptoms. As she is fine Jersey
stock | now value her at $1,000, and
consider the investment of 25 cts. for
your Powder the best bargain | ever
nlaue' Respectfully yours,
Mar "a, 1t. SUI
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1905-04-14
Order for Publication.

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT, EIGHTH JUDICIAL
CIRCUIT, PUTNAM COUNTY, FLORIDA
IN CHANCERY.
VS.. It,..s,r
Thomas H. Braddock, Defendant. Divorce
1t appearing by afldayit appended to the
bill filed in the above stated cause that afTlant
believes the residence Of Thomas II. Braddock,
the defendant, therein named, is unknown, and
1t further appearing. the belief of afliant, that
said defendant Is over the age Of twenty-one
years, It Is therefore ordered that said Defend
ant be and he is hereby required to appear TO
the BIZ Of Complaint filed In said cause on or
before Monday, the 5th day Of June A. d.. 1908.
otherwise the allegations of slid bill Will be
taken as confessed by said Defendant.
1t Is further ordered that this order be pub
llshcd once a week for consecutive weeks In
the Palatka News a newspaper published in
said County and State.
Witness my hand and Official seal this sth
day OF April 1905.
[Seal JOSEPH PRICE,
Clerk Circuit Court.
+. +. HASKELL,
solicitor Tor Complainant
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1905-04-14
Tax Assessors Notice.

For the purpose of receiving tax
returns. will be at the following
named places as given below:
Federal Point, April 18th; Orange
Mills, 18th; East Palatka, goth; San
MateO, DIST. GEO. F. BULLARD,
Tax Assessor.
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1905-04-14

DR.. E. H. Armstrong, the we'll
known eye and nerve specialist of
jacksonville is, at the urgent request
of numerous people throughout the
state, making professional tour of
the different cities, for the benefit of
those who find it impossible or iucon-
venient to call at his home Office. He
will be in Palatka for period of two
or three days. Notice of visit and
announcement of date will appear in
a later issue.
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1905-04-14
The Palatka News
and Advertiser

THE NEWS AND ADVERTISER
has a higher circulation rating
than is accorded to any other
paper in Palatka. - Printers
Ink, N. Y, July %, 1908.
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1905-04-14

LOST-A Ladies Gold Watch and
Pin between Catholic church and DR..
Stems office, Saturday afternoon
about 80 or o'clock. Finder will
be rewarded by leaving watch at this
office.
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1905-04-14

NOTICE OF APPLICATION F0R
Tax Deed Under Section 8 of Cbapter
1888, Laws of Florida.
Notice is hereby given that NJ q
Mcintosh, purchaser of tax certificate
No. 250, dated the End day of lima
A. D 1902. has filed said certificate in nv
office, and has made application for tax
deed to Issue in accordance with law
Said certificate embraces the following
described property situated in Putnam
county, Florida, to wit:
M of net section 50, township -
range $50 acres.
The said land being assessed at the
date of the issuance of such certifcatelD
the name of. R. Hayden. Unless said
certificate shall be redeemed according
to law, tax deed will issue thereon on the
22d day of April, A d 1906.
Witness my official signature and seal
this the 18th day of March, A D 1905.
Seal JOSEPH PRICE,
Clerk Circuit Court, Putnam Co, Florida.
The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1905-04-14
NOTICE OF APPLICATION non
Tax Dee1 Under Section s Of Cba uHn
1888 Laws of Florida 0naPIef

Notice is hereby given that 1vn
Miller, purchaser of tax cartiNoa ~
No. 397, dated the LIST day of JuIv '' \
D. 1901, has filed said certificate n a. a.
office, and has made application for p t ~
deed to issue in accordance with ,s 'aA
Said certificate embraces the folIow ,a",
described property situated in pn UT
county, Florida to wit: ''''A
Is Of WI of nw4 of sw1I, section o.
township 10, range 24-lG acres -''
The said land being assessed at tbo
date OF the Issuance of such certificate 'L ~
the name Of Unknown. Unless s.id
certificate shall be redeemed ACCORDING
to law, tax deed willissue thereon on tbs
9Th day of May, A. D. 1905. 'D'
Witness my official signature and seal
this the Both day of March, A. D. 19O5
[Seall JOSEPH PRICE
Clerk Circuit Court, Putnam Co. Florida
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-08-31
SHEEP MEN STRICTLY IN 1T.

When a sheep man can sell a four
months old lamb at 81 and get so
for the fleece of wool from the eve it
looks like taking candy away from
the baby, and this is just what the
sheepmen are doing this year. How
ever, lambs will be sold just the same
this fall, provided the price keeps up,
but should the price go Down the
sheepmen will hold on to them. They
have plenty of feed and will be in po-
sition where they can hold them.
There Is scarcity of sheep with a big
demand for wool, all of which means
good skating for the sheepmen.-Den-
yer Field and Farm.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-08-31

The school opens on Monday, Sep.
tember 4th, and the Graphic is in
formed that applications for every
place are on hand, and in fact that
a number Of applicants will have to
be kept out on Q of insufficient
accommodations. While In ona re
spect this is not good news, In ano-
Their respect it Is gratifying, as it
shows that our people are anxious to
put their sons into good schools and
give them the education required TO
make successful citizens and good
men under modern circumstances.
The Military Institute at Roswell is
one of the Territorial educational In
situations of which our people can
be and are justly proud.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-08-31
Classified AS
FOR SALE


Gull apples o sale cheap at South
Springs Orchard 4eti
FOR SALE.-Ice cold melons. Call at
U. s. Market. Phone 81. o2tf.
FOR SALE.-My residence, corner
of Main and 18th st.-A. J. Nisbet.
100 toms of prairie hay for sale.
Write for prices delivered. Box 217,
Artesia, N. M. 1926
FOR sALE.-Engine and boiler. 40.
horse power, In good condition.
Roswell Elec. 1t. Co. 33tt
FOR sAtE.-The best family horse
in Roswell; also a three a old
FLY. well broken and gentle. and a
good saddle horse-A. J.. Nisbet.
35tf.
PRESS FOR sALE-The Record Of
nee has for sale one Cranston
press. seven column folio. IL In
good order and will be sold at q
bargain. Il
FOR SALE-8O acres Of best Hondo
land, fenced, with water right from
Hondo. AZ miles from Roswell, at
$40 per acre. Address x at Record
office. 55t2*
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-08-31
WILL IT BE TOO BIG?

Star, Tuscon, Ariz.
When IN effort was made by Utah
to steal a part of northern of Arizona,
the people stood up to a nan and said
mo, not n inch; Arizona will not
give up one DOT Of her possessions"
When congress offers to annex an
other big territory to Arizona and out
of the two maxi a grand and magnif-
cent state, there comes a howl from
every fellow who don't want state
hood. mo, no; we are big enough;
we don't want any more territory;
If New Mexico is annexed to Arizona
we can't enjoy the jobs we now enjoy
we can't continue our grating, our
tax-dodging; the state will be too
big for our little ring; it will be too
big for us to control; no, no. it must
MT be-"