davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18
Special to the New York Globe.

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 dirty face. was the guest of honor at a Vassar college banquet few evenings ago, related his experiences to- day in his own way-the patois of the street.
 Me mudder would give me a good spankin'," he said Fact is Fnt afeerd to tink wot she would do if she found out I was eatin wid de Vassar girls.
 Tommy frequents the New York Gen. tral station. as rule and often sells the evening editions of the various New York newspapers to the pretty vassar girls. Now and then he strays out in the East End, and this was how he hap pened to be corralled by the students.
 Just at the hour set for the banquet regrets were received from young wom- an guest Some bright girl suggested that the vacant chair be filled by the first newsboy met on the street and the sug- gestion met with enthusiasm. Tommy was just coming down the street shout ing 'Wuxtry'' at the top of his voice when the committee left the college hall, and he was immediately elected to fill the place.
 Wen dey said banquet" said Tom my" shuffing his bundle of papers to give his hands free play to illustrate the narrative of his experience, 'I didn't know wot 1t was all about and I had to ask 'em. But I got wise, all right. Din ner was wot dey meant. Wot, me miss feed wid de ladies.
 Well, we walked down de street to shinin' troo de trees. Gee, I was nerv- ous."
 Say. it wasn't swell as you would tink it was" he continued refectively. Jest some ladies havin' spread among dem selves. Dey don't allow eny gents at de college. You know, dat was what made me nervous.
 Well. anyway, de ladies took me into de parlor and interdooced me to de bunch. And say, it was an all-to-de- good bunch Honest, I was sceerd. though. l could hear me heart beatin' like drum agin me shirt. Me face was dirty, and me clothes. well, desc are de same rags dat wore. Ain't dey swell? Nit?
 "'Fore I could wash me hands or face, de ladies put me in a chair by de table. Den dey all set down and all l could see was row of faces wid curls and ribbons and fussy tings in de hair
 '''Wot's yer name? one girl asked me. .Tommy.' Well, why don't you eat Tom my? she said. Den all de ladies laughed But I didn't see anything to eat. At home when we feed we get everything on de table. but dere wasn't nothing on dis table but some napkins. knives and forks, and some posies.
 q got to feel at home den, cause one oe d lsdies put . napkin under me chin.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18
Franklin and Cortelyou.

Postmaster General George l.. Cor telyou, speaking at the dinner of the Pennsylvania society in New York, did indict Ben Franklin of nepotism, but he did not find in his record any evi- dence that he managed political cam paigns and filched money from policy holders-from widows and orphans in the last analysis. Let us be glad the first postmaster general was not guilty of that offense.
 All the insurance investigations of the year will prove valueless unless the men who conected money from policy holders are compelled by process of law to return 1t, and are, if possible, punished for unlawful acts. The United State senators are involved in the Dryden-but this fact should not stand in the way in so grave a matter.
 Thus far the attorney general of New York, republican, has taken no steps to punish the men who took cam- paign subscriptions from policyholders without the latters knowledge or con sent. He probably will take none. But District Attorney Jerome Is not a ma chine politician. and it will be strange indeed if he does not proceed against not only Cortelyou but also against the robber barons of 1896 and 1900
 The fearful exposures will be barren of lasting results unless this be done, and in 1908 similar vile work will go on-subrosa of course-as it did in the three proceeding presidential cam paigns. The issue Is one that calls for the punishment of the guilty and the return of the money they unlawfully took, or else for an abandonment of re- form in that direction, and the handing over of the country to the rich CO., porations. It is the one or the other. and we are at the parting of the ways.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18
GETTYSBURG MILLlONAIRES."
Cannot Resist Temptations Of Gotham
 High Life.
New York Correspondence Pittsburg Dis patch

New York Correspondence Pittsburg Dis
 patch.
 The Afternoon Mail as written and sung by Henry L. Stoddard, when seen cry supplied by Homer Davenport and backed by a mysterious syndicate, gave a speciality in it's matinee performance to- day, entitled "Pittsburg Millionaires." The plot of the piece is several days old, but 1t was worked out on such ingenious lines that not a few of the Mails TOO readers accepted 1t as an original pro- duction. MT. Davenport had his day off, and therefore the piece, like one of Ben Greets plays, was without scenery and on the editorial page. It runs: "Either Pittsburg must be rendered more attrac- tive for the wealthy native or New York stop over at Philadelphia for a space on his way hither with that bulky satchel labeled Easy Money In tow. The at tempt at one step to make a Gothamite out of a Pittsburg millionaire is too often attended with the same disastrous incl dents the attempt in one generation to make a cultured cosmopolite out of a blanket Indian. Something is surely lack ing in the Smoky City. It has a park sys- tenn of a thousand acres. a public library with 55,ooo volumes, an art gallery with 50 good paints, 1s plaster casts and 17G reproductions of antique bronzes and a public school system with 1OI4 teachers and principals. But it seems to be lack ing in hippodromes. lobster palaces. the atrical stock companies and the varied properties of the joy of life The conse- quence is that when a Pittsburg million aire gets into the sophisticated atmos- phere of the metropolis he is frequently as easy as the contents of his satchel. His moral safeguards seem fitted for slackwater navigation on the Ohio rather than for the rapid tides of Manhattan. When he is exposed to temptation he sputters and breaks up like a lump of Monongahela coal in a grate fire. He Is bituminous rather than anthracite"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18
"Vae Vlctis."

"The two incidents In the Spanish-Amer- ican war that will live longest said a bookworm last night at the Hillman. were Captain Hobson's sinking of the Merrmac and Cerveras dash for liberty out of Santiago harbor.
 And yet each of them was, in the strict sense of the word, failure.
 But they were a kind of failure that is better than the most complete possible success.
 After all 1t is not the result so much as 1t is the purpose and the spirit of ones effort that Is meritorious.
 The important thing in the incidents I mention is that both Captain Hobson and Admiral Cervera had reason to be- lieve that they were going to almost hu- manly certain death when the exploit at tempted by each began. And yet neither of them wavered for an instant The pur- pose and spirit of both of them was ad- mlrable. Each failed to do what he had planned, but both won a success of which neither of them had even dreamed.
 ITO each of them belongs the praise of Vac Victis.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18
IN HOTEL, LOBBIEs
Great Skyscrapers.

Talking about skyscrapers.' said man about town yesterday, the tendency IS not only to increase the number or such buildings, but also to add to the height of each additional one In Atlanta the Penn Mutual Life Insurance company Is preparing to erect a steel frame build ing that is to be twenty-two stories high.
 The same tendency is manifest here' for the new skyscraper on the Linn cor ner is to be fifteen stories high. and it's construction Is to be begun next month. No doubt Birmingham will go on adding office buildings of great height until we have one that actually scrapes the sky, or the clouds which of late have been our only sky
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18
The Stock Market.

Henry Clews fin his Wall street letter of Saturdays date says:
 Our stock market has shown a fresh out burst of feverish activity The speculative spirit is rising irresistibly, and this in spite of restraints imposed by conserva- tive banking interests and without any re- gard to conditions in the money market. The reason for all this Is, of course, un- bounded confidence in the general situa- tion and belief that the monetary situa- ton will improve after the middle of Jan uary, if not earlier. The extraordinary outburst in the copper stocks and their rapid advance due chiefly to the unpre- cedented demand and the very high price for copper. have greatly stimulated spec ulative operations in other directions. It has also attracted particular attention to the industrials, many of which are en- toying a period of prosperity beyond all expectations. The activity in the steel and all kindred industries continues unabated; the knowledge that these corporations are making unusual profits being the basis of much of the present speculation, to say nothing of the effect of various merger deals which are in process of negotiation. Better class railroad issues have been comparatively neglected; but these too are now receiving increased attention from the new class of operators who are evil dently coming into the market.
 Some Idea of the activity of business can be had by the fact that for the Il months ending November 30 the clearings in the United States aggregated almost 130 billions, or 30 per cent ahead of the same time last year. This is an extraor- dnary increase and is well distributed over the entire country; although the gain is heaviest both in volume and per centage in the city of New York where the speculative operations for the whole country largely centers. Such activity of course explains in part the stringency in money. High interest rates are certainly more the result of business activity than speculation. The latter is merely se- quence, and not cause.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18
COM RADES.
By Richard Hoyey.

By Richard Hovey. Comrades. pour the wine tonight, For the parting Is with dawn, o. the clink of cups together, With the daylight coming on!
 Greet the morn
 With a double horn, When strong men drink together. Comrades. gird your swords tonight. For the battle is with dawn. O. the clash of shields together, With the triumph coming on.
 Greet the foe
 And lay him low, aa. When strong men fight together. , Comrades. watch the tides tonight. For the sailing is with dawn. O. to face the spray together, With the tempest coming on,
 Greet the sea
 With a shout of glee, When strong men roam together. Comrades, give a cheer tonight, For the dying is with dawn. O. to meet the stars together. With the silence coming on!
 Greet the end
 As friend, friend, When strong men die togsthR.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
pm the New York Press.

From the New York Press.
 ANman gets tired of being married and girl of not being.
 Maybe going to church would be fun If 1t shooNed your friends to have you go.
 bachelor hardly ever has as bad [ temper as he would have If he were married.
 High finance is staying out of jail for doing what lands the low fellow there every time.
 It takes girl long time to learn how to skate when you have to put your arm around her to keep her from failing on the ice.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18
About Persons.

w. H. Brown of New York is stopping at the Birmingham.
 F. A. Nolen of Nashville is registered at the Birmingham.
 G. F. Jones of Richmond. Va, is at the Hillman.
 s. E. Bell we'll known travelling man of Chicago. is registered at the Hotel Hllman.
 T. J. Massenburs of Atlanta is at the Hllman.
 R. L. Baker and E. F. Gill. two well
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18
Bills by thousands.

During the first day of the present session of Congress 4031 bills were ac- tually introduced. All were private bills except about five hundred.
 This flood of bills renders commit tee rule an all.important feature of congressional work. The committees
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

Florence Times: Treat a hog as he should be treated and there is no better dividend payer Oh the farm.
 Marion Democrat: One more Alton Brooks Parker sea-ride and the ship will sink to rise no more.
 Tuskegee News: Talk of 1t as we may, no labor in the south will excel the ne- groes who are satisfied and happy on our plantations and small farms.
 Mobile Herald: If worst comes to worst, we'll pay Ben Tillmans fare to Washing ton every time, just to worry some of those United States senators.
 Coosa Argus: More stenographers and typewriters are needed by the Panama canal commission, but as yet there Is no demand for moro spades.
 Dothan Eagle: One might be able to get a letter from some New York corpora tion now without the name of Senator Depew being seen upon 1t as director or dummy officer.
 Bullock County Breeze: The girls who are looking for husbands should snatch them out of the boarding house. A man who boards is appreciative of the worst home cooking on earth.
 Tri-County Weekly: The Czar's in all countries and communities will soon be thing of the past Education Is the blow and club by which the people defeat the
 
 Troy Messenger: Senator Teller urges sea-level canal down at Panama Is 1t possible that Congress has to fight the canal situation over again? If so they might root out the grafters down there.
 Montgomery Advertiser: We agree with the Boston Globe that from now until the holidays are over shoppers will need patience, perseverance, and good hu- mor" And incidentally they will need little cash.
 Huntsville Mercury: The Montgomery Journal is bothered with bad dreams-it calls them shadows but they are dreams of the past. We fear its able editor has a, brand of '96 hidden somewhere about his sleeping apartments.
 Cadsden Journal: Henrik Senkiewic captured the Nobel prize. in literature this year. His name. however had nothing to do with 1t. The author of Quo Vadis'' was in line for recognition, even If his name had been Smith or Jones.
 Limestone Democrat; Our old familiar exchange, the Congressional Record. is again with us, through the courtesy of Congressman Richardson. The Record has so far escaped the yellow Journalism stage nor Is it enlivened by Buster Brown or Foxy Grandpa cartoons.
 Attalla Mirror: Now there Is a kick in the Philippines because the natives who are postmasters read the newspapers from the United States that go through their hands. Reading the American news | papers will not harm them. Light and truth were never dangerous. l Alexander City Outlook Our Alice Chats Miss Roosevelt) has gone and got engaged to an Ohio congressman. She might have married an Alabama con- gressman, but they are all harnessed and since Miss Alice could not get one of those thoroughbred southerners. she took a Buckeye statesman. That's not so bad. l
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18
The Iron Market.

The pig iron market will be dull until after the middle of January" said furnace operator.
 But the holidays over, brisk buying movement will set In. Consumption goes on at an undminished rate and many con sumers have not covered for the entire first quarter. l expect to see s16 iron before the spring. The pig metal will reach that figure unless all signs fail.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18
RELIGIONS OF THE WORLD.

From the Chicago Journal.
 Buddhists. Confucians, etc.. about 5Oo,- O00, ,o00: Mohammedants, 20TOoo,000; Roman Catholics, POI ,000,000; Greek church. S1,- Ooo.ooo: Protestants. 106,000.o00; Brahmlns. 115. 900 900.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

It is rumored that T. Lawson has talked himself into a hole where con versational ability does not help him particle.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

It is thought Andy Hamiltons arm will be strong enough to permit him to come to this country in July and August when everybody else is talk ing a vacation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18
BACK TO THEIR LEVEL.

From the Maryville (NIo) Tribune.
 If only genuine students are to play on the college football teams next year the packing houses over the country are like ly to get a lot of their old hands back again.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

John D. Rockefeller was given thirty days in Chicago for being drunk. It was not our John D. Rockefeller, how ever.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

Walter A. Peabody, the new pres ident of the Mutual Life, certainly has been an honest man up to the present time, and he accepts the office on a salary of $50 900.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

The life insurance presidents are evi- dently in one boat. There seems to be no exception.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

An Ohio woman lost her voice be- cause a trolley car struck COW. It is wonder that she kept it as long as she did.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

The University of Chicago is now a real university, a dancing school hay ing been added to it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18
The sultan backed down, as usual
WITH OTHER EDITORS.

The Christmas edition of the Montgom- cry Advertiser was issued yesterday. It contained 100 pages, and is a newspaper achievement that is not only credit to the state, but to southern journalism. The subject matter of the paper includes great variety of interesting topics-ed- ucational, industrial, historical and oth- erwise. A number of excellent stories were contributed, while poetry Is abund- ant. Most of the contributions are from Alabama writers, a fact which gives the Christmas Advertiser general state in- terest. The poems, short stories and other reading matter are also freely illustrated, number of handsome page features be- ing noted The advertising patronage of this immense number is also extensive, and is a sure index of the prosperity which the Advertiser enjoys. Maj W. W. Screws and his associates deserve much credit for the work which they have accomp- lished.
 The Christmas edition of the Anniston Sunday Star issued yesterday morning shows a liberal advertising patronage An | attractive cover in colors was a feature of this excellent paper.
 | The Christmas edition of the Montgom- | cry Journal, issued Saturday afternoon. | Is largely devoted to a number of interest ing contributions from Alabama editors. This unique feature makes the Journal s Christmas number doubly interesting. | The Christmas edition of the Joliet Evening Herald numbers GA pages. and Is most creditable.
 | The Monroe Journal issued a holiday | edition well filled with advertisements and showing the enterprise of Editor e. | Salter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

The city council of Ogdensburg, New York, has passed an ordinance making football unlawful. That is one way to reform the game.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

rresident Corey is not the only steel magnet who has shown a marked pre- oilection for the stage.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18
TRUTH FOR YOUNG MEN.

From the St. Louis Post Dispatch.
 A good many money sharks could be suppressed if more young men would study economy and practice self-denial and self-restraiut
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

A Connecticut man tainted when he discovered that he had been given $40 too much by an express clerk and walked twenty miles to return the money. He is too good for this world.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

Mir. Longworth, the national groom expectant, did not use hair restorer in good season. His hair is now notice- able by it's absence.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

The republican party is not a little nonplussed by the return to it of the hon. Web Davis.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

It is coincided that time has dealt kindly with Bernhardt, but it has not entirely neglected her.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

Alice Roosevelt's wedding gown will be much discussed from now until the marriage takes place.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

MT. Roosevelt is accounted a pacifi- cator and Castro a prevaricator. Each is worlds figure.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18
For on the fatness of these pursy times, Virtue itself of vice must pardon beg.
 Hamlet.
Two Naval Programmes.

Japan came out of the recent war well loaded up with debt, and she had, too. safeguarded herself with treaty which brings to her aid In an emer- gency the big British navy. But she will hermit neither debt no treaty re- lations to stand in the way of her pro gress as a first-class naval power. She is independent and she proposes to re- main independent.
 She came out of the war with more ships than she took in it, and when all the raised and captured ships are put in prime condition she will have very considerable navy. The two bat tleships that were begun in British wards over a year ago will soon be com pleted. Each has a displacement of I6.400 tons. The admiralty proposes to lay down in Japanese yards two 18.OO0-ton battleships and 14,000 ton cruisers, and the Diet will no doubt sanction the government programme. Japan will retain the position she won in a striking manner in the recent war She is a naval power that no nation can afford to tackle in the far east.
 The programme of Secretary Bona parte is equally ambitious, for he asks Congress to add thirteen ships to our navy as follows:
 2 battleships ......................$lo .$lo, ,OOOOOO 9 scout cruisers ................... 4'OoO,OOO destroyers .........-........,..... 5,WOotO 2 submarines or submersibles.. 50000O 1 gunboat of the Helena type.... GOO 9 river gunboats ................,. 2OOOO0
 Total ............................ .s23. 300 GOO
 The Japanese and the United States naves are the twin wonders of the world, and pretty much all the sea fighting of modern ships has fallen to them. The two countries are far apart, and are friendly, and no one cares in either how rapidly the navy
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

The train that is to bear La Folette away has not gone around the bend in \. lsconsin as yet.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

Now that dancing is taught at the University of Chicago the curriculum is complete.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

The nine members of President Roosevelt's cabinet have an average age of 61
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

The stalwarts or Spoonerites woulI be glad to go down to the depot to wave La Toilette goodbye.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

John Burns, member os the cabinet, still wears reefer jacket and derby hat.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

Nicholas Longworth still has his back hair but that is about all
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

Get your presents this week if you want them to get there by Christmas.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

The storm king Is playing the At lantic seaboard.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

Congress is trying to give the Pan ana canal Christmas present.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

Bernhardt is noted equally for her art and her ability to conceal her age.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

The Czar should insert an advertise ment in the Help Wanted" column.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

Press Agent Bishop has lost the best job a man ever had.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

Engagement rumors will no longer perplex Miss Alice Roosevelt.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

Grover Cleveland is getting ready to take to the woods again.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

Mccall should not approach and get on the slialng board
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

The White House wedding is dis turbing Washington society.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

The son business should be abol- ished in life insurance offices.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

rresident Corey's moral armor plate seems to be full of blowholes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

Arnica and lint will be in demand today week.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

Mobile Herald If worst comes to worst, we'll pay Ben Tillman's fare to Washing ton every time, just to worry some of those United States senators.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-18

Tuskegee News: Talk of 1t as we may, no labor in the south will excel the ne- groes who are satisfied and happy on our plantations and small farms