Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1905-06-17
ANDREWS DIPLoDocus.

Hamlet-"Do you see yonder clouo
that's almost in shape of camel?"
Polonius-"By the mass, and it's like
a camel, indeed
Hamlet-"Me thinks it is like a
weasel"
Polonius-"It is backed like weas-
ell"
Hamlet-"Or like a whale?"
Polonius-"Very like a whale"
The many editorial definitions for
the diplodocus indicate composite
editorial mind in America as change
able as was the mind of Polonius and
as full of imagination as that of Ham
let And it is all brought about by the
presentation by Andrew Carnegie Of
the skeleton of a diplodocus to King
Edward. Ever since Andrews press
agent announced that the steel king
had made a gift to his old chum and
contemporary, Edward VII, there has
been much perusal of we'll thumbed
dictionaries and encyclopedias to
learn just what the diplodocus is, or
was, for it appears that his dips has
disappeared from the earth and has
left no heirs. Just to what age he be-
there are no initials and dates cut into
any of the few bones that have been
located and the diplodocus left no
hieroglyphics SO that we may write his
obituary. Not even an inscription Is
to be found on the mountain sides
which compose his tomb and therein
the pachyderm Of longer name has
linn bested. For who cannot remem-
Der and repeat those inspired lines:
There was once an ichthyosaurus,
Who lived when the earth was all por-
Gus;
But he tainted with shame
When he first heard his name,
And he died several ages before u.s."
Careful scanning of these lines has
failed to throw any light upon the
vital question regarding the diplodo-
Gus, but it is known that he made his
home among the crags and peaks of
Colorado and took his morning consti-
tutional on the now fertile plains of
Kansas. This was long before the
time of the buffalo and the garter
snake, and folks do say that he. came
ahead of the first baseball fan and was
on earth before Ottumwa was in debt.
At any rate. scientist says the diplo-
docus is characterized by a weak in
denton confined to the forepart of the
Jaws and the rami of the ischia is
straight"
The Kansas City Journal has taken
upon its shoulders the task of hunt
ing down all the facts with regard to
the diplodocus and it declares that it
was a sort of pre-glacial octopus. 1t
bases its theory upon the fact that of
all that is bad, Colora1o affords the
worst, and the grandfather of all the
octopi is no doubt the patrcr saint of
all the trusts Another fact that
strengthens the Journals theory is
that President Roosevelt went to Colo
RADIO to hunt and left the press repre-.
sentatives behind The Journal says,
with a secretive hist" that he went
to search for the diplodocus but, be-
ing unable to locate its haunts,
knocked down few bears just to ST.
lence insistent questloners. Still an
other corroborative fact is that Mr..
Carnegie, being on such intimate terms
with the octupus of the steel mills,
would be the very one to have dip
lodocus in captivity And so the Jour
nal concludes that it has made its
case.
Now if we might hear from Tom
Watson we may be able to turn from
the important question of the diplo.
docus and give our attention to base.
ball, railroad rate reforms, the cante.
loupe crop, high water and other i'm.
pOrtant matters