Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1905-04-13
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There is snothing fgurative about
the way in which the bears Of Colo
RADIO are takiug to the tall and uncut
timber. A Colorado bear will be the
poorest ssrise' in the world until
tireless Theodore goes back home
again.
Judging from the reports that are
flying in. the air President Roosevelt
went out to have the time of his life,
and is having it. Kindly remember
that this is the first time he has made
a junket as a real properly-elected
President, who is President on his
own responsibility, and you will not
'e at a loss to explain the happiness
that he is shedding all along the
line. He's feeling immense.
Kansas trembles before the adj
1auce of Commissioner Garfield-at
east that part of the state which is
owned by Standard Oil ''trust."
With his mighty probe andhis eagle
eye Mr.. Garfield will accomplish
| wonders in the matter of Investigate
ing. He says he will, and of course
he will. The bruised and lacerated
| beef trust is cen now quivering
rom the pitless onslaughts of Com
1 ,oIooionor GarHa1d
In a recent address II. Rider Hag-
gard deplores the yellow peril which
we must face and the even greater
peril that confro1ts us in our crowd
ed cities, where ignorance, filth and
poverty, helped on by ace suicide,
are rapidly playing havoc with the
masses. Among the disadvantages
of the south which eastern cores
pondentS have carefully pointed ut
to Us, over-crowding has not yet be-
come d menace.
All the municipal elections have
been held in Colorado with the ex-
| SOPC1OA VI tAla "a anu III ~
suit was a surprising democratic
landslide. In Pueblo, Colorado
Springs and Leadville, which are
formally republican, the democrats
Won a vittoiy. At LIE tdville it Was
the FIR t Instance OF re kind in &c
years. The democrats took about
yverythingi ia sig hit, a id what ''stuff-
tnz" was INDUCED III did not attracl
Undue attention.
An Indiana mal-so many curl.
Gus things and novelists happen il
Indiana!-Wa1is a divorce from hi
lady wife because, forsooth, she
knocked him down with a stick o.
wood and then walked I'VE him
everal times with such ~earnestness
ii laplHication to the work in hand
nat the husband will be a cripple
ior life. No one could possibly blame
the gentleman from wanting a di-
yofce-he is much broken up over
the atfair-but what an elegant he.
ONE for Il novel the lady would
make! Tnen, too, she would be safer
IL a book than running around at
arge.
A party of gentlemen were dis
cussing seasickness. One wise old
| fellow, who seemed to have studied
the subject under the most trying
conditions, said that the chief ex.
planation for nausea on the e is ar
absence of the horizontal. You are
tossing about, the boat is plunging.
the waves are heaving, and the whole
world appears to be spinning about il
most bewildering fashion. Natui ally
this sensation is communicated to The
wheels in ones head and from there
extends to the stomach, where thu
tossing oftentimes becomes pronounc
ed. AS long as a crafty landlubbe
does not get out of sight of the shor
he is all right, for the man VIII
knows will Keep his eyes fixed O
the shore line,- look at the water a
little as possible and remain seren
until the voyage is ended. But ono
let him get out Of sight of the lane
and his only resource is to trust to
gentle providence.