The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-26

smashing things. and rowdyism on beach
cars. Why don't you do something ABOUT
Police Captain-Ain't got time. 1 am on
my way up to the Bronx to stop game OK
baseball.-Exchange.
HIGH AND LOW.
Oh, the contrast is pathetic
And you lose your bottom dollar
n the game of high finance:
Washington Star.
Which Is better, money or brains7s ca.
Moneys Ue can a found a College but It IS
mighty hard for brains to endow any
thing. Washington Star.
Doctor-wen. how does the eye feel this
morning?
I'm afraid I'm going to have trouble with
Doctor-oh, don't worry: it win come out
all right-Philadelphi Ledger.
Larry, who had been standing on the
and walked away IN disgust. '''e' ''''''|-
''Th idea o. that felly thryin' to make a
pollytickle spachel'' he exclaimed. when
wor-rd 'infioo' Chicago Tribune
Grudge-wny did they throw out that
Snudge-some one proposed three cheers
and at the conclusion he yelled s.Tigerr'
Has your health improved of late?'
Yes, I've been visiting among strangers
who didn't keep talking to me about it all
the time. cleveland Leader.
Tommy's Pop-Wrinkles, my son.-Phil-
adelphia Record.
He says he can not live without me-"
said the impressionable heiress.
Don't beliewe it, returned Miss Cay
enne. HE will live. But he may have to
economic. "-Washington Star.
Friend-Did the lawyers get you con-
Witness-Did they get me confused?
Why, testified that Jones lived next door
to me. but | couldn't remember the street
number Puck.
Little Girl lin church)-Why does so
many people put those little envelopes on
Little Boy-Them's to keep the pennies
from maxim so much noise.-New York
Weekly.
Why did Mahomet go to the noun
He Thought he could get better rates
Leader.
Harduppe for the loan of a dollar. You
really didn't need it, did your
one and | simply forestailed hirn.-PhiIa-
delphia Press
my uncle she said, was once a mem
Der of the United States senate
Never mind, darling he replied. IT
love you too munh to let that stand in the
way."-Chicago Record-H Herald.
You don't give much heed to the ad-
NO, answered the nervous citizen.
THE version of these running times
should be Blessed is the pacemaker.' -
Washington Star.
Colonel. this paper tells how the presi-
dent dent walked three miles through the rain
wei, sab. what. of it? I have walked
fatheh than that for it; but now 1 al
Post.
She (sentimentally)-How like life are
the waves of the seal
He-You bet!. Come to the shore in
great style and go away broke.-Chicago
News.
You're a liar!" is usually tn ind av
tn argymint an tn beginnin' av some
other persons about.-Baltimore Aneri-
can.
Departing Guest-Do you permit your
servants to accept little-er-presents
Summer Land1Ord-Great Scotti You
haven't any money left have you?-Cleve-
Society Leader-You will excuse me, but
YOUR da,IebteT into sooiety am t ese1
acquain ted with you.
Visitor-No; but perhaps you will when
Sisterhood of Society Edit
tors Wives.-Broolxlyn Life.
"And what change impresses you most
after your long sleep?" they asked of Rip
the currency" our hero replied II used
70 get four pounds of steak for a dollar.
Now get cubic inch."-Louisyiile Cour-
Henpeck-I tell you, my Henrietta al
ways means what she says
JenkinS-lSee Whit I wish my wife did
.Henpeck-Why that's strange. Doesn't
she always?
she wants "a little money! she means
much money. Philadelphia Ledger.
Brown-I went out fishing the other day
Jones-How do you know ii weighed 20
Brown-oh. that's very easy, for it had
scales on its back.-Birmingham (England)
Weekly Post.
First Doetor-Do you think It was a mis- ,
take to remove the vermiform appendix
Second Doctor-very great. What are
we going to blame for his troubles I'm the
future ?-Harper's Bazaar.
Tommy-Pop. what is procrastfnation?
Tommy's Pop-Procrastination. my son,
Is putting off tin tomorrow what you can
get somebody else to do for you today
Philadelphia Record.
First Great Financier-Do you-er-ahem
think it safe to continue to conduct the
affairs of this company in this way?
Second Great Financier-Why notf
Haven't we just been exposed ?-Puck.
First Suburbanite-Was your garden q
success this year?
Second Standardization bet It was.
My next door neighbor's chickens took the
News.
suit?
Patr,ee..yss. I could Just see it.-Yon-