davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-06-14
The HARDCASTLE Twins.


lNNT7 ELL, May darling, what is to
W be done? Uncle Jim has come
to life again. He is appar-
emily married, and is the proud father
OF twin boys. So my chances Of in
heriting are"
And Eric Strachan gave a half
choke, and looked at Maisie, and the
girl looked first at him and then away
from him, and her beautiful eyes were
clouded.
"And next week we were going to
ask the courts to to be allowed 70 pre-
sumo your uncle's death, and you
would have slipped into title and es-
tates, and-oh, Eric! What a man
Lord Hardcastle is, dead one minute
and alive the nextv'
what you might call unreliable"
said Eric dryly.
In early youth Lord Hardcastle had
had a disappointment in love, and,
though anyone who knew him would
have thought him the last man in the
world to have taken such matter Sc
riously to heart, he did, for he shut up
his house and wandered literally all
over the face Of creation for many
years.
he had no relative living but Eric,
and not only was he bad CORE
spondent, but when his rare and la
comic epistles from Canada, Australia
or South America did arrive only an
average of one word In three was de-
cipherable, for his handwriting was
simply abominable.
He had beer shot, stabbed, had fall
en- down a disused shaft or two at the
diggings, and been shipwrecked twice,
and seemed to thrive upon 1t; and once
he wrote he was suffering from what
looked like "galloping consumption, /"
but the consumption either failed to
gallop, or the air Of the Blue Noun
tsins had cured him, or the bad writ
ing may not have been consumption
at all; the symbols may have stood for
a pain almost anywhere. Seven years
before when in England, he had made
the acquaintance Of his nephew Eric,
who was IS; he took huge fancy to
the bright young fellow. gave him q
very handsome check, indeed, told him
to look upon himself as heir to the
Hardcastle estates, and promised he
would write to his solicitors to see that
Eric had a decent allowance worthy of
the heir to thousands, and he had bet
ter try for the army, and live well.
When old Hardcastle, leaving a very
grateful lad behind him, returned to
his hotel, he met very old crony who
was sailing on the following day for
the Argentine. Buenos Ayres was one
OF the few places Jack Hardcastle had
not visited, so, forgetting all about his
plans for Eric, he said he would come,
too. There was no bother about pack
ing, for he had only arrived the day
before from Sydney, and had not un-
packed yet; so at dawn the next morn
ing this globe -trOtter and his crony
started lor Buenos Ayres, and poor
Eric was forgotten. The young fel-
low was practically alone in the world,
and If 1t had not been for little Maisie,
his boyhoods sweetheart would have
refused the fairly good clerkship In
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-06-14
Why He Wondered.

"a Pennsylvania judge has decided
that a man need not entertain his
mother-in-law unless it is his pleasure
to do So"
ST wonder if he used that word
pleasure in a sarcastic senseY-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-06-14
Worried Over His Investment.

"Deah me, Chawley, heahs scien-
tific French fellow who says that the
future man, don't you know, is going
to be legless as we'll as brainless."
"Good gwacious, and I've just gone
and invested in a silvah-plated trous-
ers stretchaw."- Plain Deal
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-06-14

Of it in the papers,
says a Washin gton
c o RE S po ndent.
Most folks don't
k n o w w h Mr..
Adee Is and many
editors are equally
ignorant. He Is
one Of the most in
teresting figures at
the national capt.
tai and Is the one
man who io onnaid-
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-06-14
Hard TO FORGET.

Mrs. Snooks-Do you notice Mrs
Newrich always says hello" instead
of chow do you do" when one meets
her?
Mrs. Brooks-Yes, she used to be
a telephone girl and can't get over
the habit.-Detroit Free Press.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-06-14
@N~0N-N~~~N~N
The Good Time Comm,

The Good Time Coming.
There's good time coming, boys,
A good time coming;
We may not live to see the day,
But earth shall glisten in the ray
Of the good time coming.
Cannon balls may aid the truth,
But thoughts weapon strongerI
Well win our battle by it's aid
Wait little longer.
There's good time coming, boys,
A good time coming;
The pen shall supersede the sword,
And Right, not Might, shall be the lor
In the good time coming.
Worth, not Birth, shall rule mankind,
And be. acknowledged stronger;
The proper impulse has been given
Wait little longer
There's good time coming, boys,
A good time coming;
War in all mems eyes shall be
A monster of iniquity
In the good time coming.
Nations shall not quarrel then,
10 prove which is the stronger;
Nor slaughter men for glory's sake
Wait little longer.
There's a good time coming, boys,
A good time coming;
Hateful rivalries Of creed
Shall not make their martyrs bleed
In the good time coming.
Religion shall be shorn of pride,
And flourish all the stronger;
And Charity shall trim her lamp
Wait little longer.
There's good time coming, boys.
A good time coming;
The people shall be temperate,
And shall love instead of hate,
In the good time coming
They shall use, and not abuse,
And make all virtue stronger
The reformation has begun
Wait little longer.
There's good time coming, boys,
A good time coming;
Let us aid it all we can,
Every woman, every man,
The good time coming.
Smallest helps, if rightly given,
Make the impulse stronger
Twill be strong enough one day
Wait little longer.
Charles Mackay.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-06-14
Slightly ParadoxicaI.

He-I see that that man Atkinson
now says a woman can live on 1925
a year."
She-Did he? Well, perhaps she
can if she's willing to kill herself do
ing t"-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-06-14

the distinction Of
being the only man
who ever struck
his sovereign. The
incident occurred
during a debate
when the Earl was
making a vehe-
ment harangue in
favor Of a militia
ballot. The King
then the Prince Of
VLyo11o oho~11S -
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-06-14
CORK AND EXTRACTOR.
Great Improvement in Securing the
Bottles Contents.

Bottles Contents,
An ingenious Baltimorean has in
vented combined bottle stopper and
extractor. That is to say, his device
partakes of the functions Of stop
per that cannot be accidentally re-
leased, and yet which can easily be
removed when desired without the use
Of any tools and without mutilating or
destroying either the stopper or the
receptacle. Permanently attached to
the cork is strip of tape, braid or
similar material, which is wound in
opposite directions around the body Of
the cork, the ends extending above
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-06-14

When a doctor loses a patient, he
says: Had he submitted to the opera
ton I advised, he could have been
saved"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-06-14

AS man gets older he is not only
blamed for his own faults, but for
those bis wife finds the children In,
iherited from him.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-06-14
A MODERN JEREMIAH.

Most Picturesque Peer in England L.
the Earl of Wemyss.
One Of the most remarkable men in
the British House Of Lords Is the ven
cradle Earl of Wemyss, who enjoys
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-06-14
The Shoe Clerks Romance.

He held her foot a month ago
To fit a shoe to Liz.
He holds her hand to-day, because
Her heart is surely his;
And in a month or so her pa
VIII start him up In biz.
Detroit Tribune.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-06-14

We suppose that children with
step-mother must feel like the incu-i
bator chdckenA /
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-06-14
HUMBLE, BUT IMPORTANT.

Alvey Adee Considered Well Nigh In
dispensab1e at Washington.
When Alvey Adee, Second Assistant
Secretary Of State, sailed for Europe
the other day there was no mention
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-30
Not One Agreed.

DR.. X. Of Capitol hill has-rare thing
for Washington physician-an Irish
driver. The doctors horse is kept at a
livery stable, and when its owner and
the driver arrived there on Sunday
morning not long ago the doctor dis
covered that his watch had run down
hours before. lie asked the time Of one
Of the men lounging about the stable.
The man produced noisy tin turnip
and announced the hour as 8. The liv-
cry stable keepers watch made 1t S57.
Somebody else's had it 9:l0.
"Come on, Jim," said the doctor to
the driver. ITS no use. No two Of
these watches agree"
mo two Of Thin" said Jim. "Faith,
divil wan Of thin agrees" flashing.
ton Post.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-30
FRUITFUL FACTS.

Lemons are an excellent remedy in
pulmonary disease.
Persia practically enjoys the monopo.
ly Of the date trade.
Sicily has some Of the finest lemon
orchards in the world.
The pear tree will continue bearing
fruit for several centuries.
The cherry, the peach and the plum
all originally came from Persia.
Strawberries are regarded as particu.
larly good for sciatica and govt.
At one time strawberries were sold
strung on straws. Thus they got their
name.
The banana is perfect food. Weight
for weight it Is claimed to pe as nutri.
tious as the beefsteak.
About one pineapple in 10000 has
seeds in it. and it Is from these seeds
that new varieties are produced.
Prunes are the dried fruit Of certain
kinds Of plums which are put into very
slow ovens. The finest of all, the
French prunes. are made in Provence.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-30
AN OFFER DECLINED.
,kttcmpt Of the Tweed RinE 20 E3ribs
Mast, the Cart00nist.

,ettcmpt of the Tweed Ring TO 8r1be
Mast, the Cartoonist.
A lawyer friend one day inumated to
MIST that in appreciation of his great
work n party of rich men wished to
send him abroad and give him q
chance to study art under the worlds
masters. The friend was probably in.
nocent enough, an unconscious tool of
the ring.
Mast said very little except that he
appreciated the offer and would be dc.
lighted to go but for the fact that ho
had important business just then In
New York. He fancied that he detect.
ed the far, faint odor of "A mouse under
the idea, but he did not mention this to
his friend. On the following Sunday
nm officer of the Broadway bank where
the ring kept its accounts came out tn
Morristown to see MAST He talked Of
number Of things. Then he said:
II hear you have been made an Offer
to go abroad for art study"
EYES," nodded Mast, but can't 60.
haven't time
"But they will pay you for your time.
have reason to believe you could get
100000 for the trip"
Must pondercd a moment, then:
Don't you think can get 5000, OOO!"
II do. | believe from what I have
heard in the bank that you could get
1t. You have a great talent, not you
need study and you need rest Besides,
this ring business will get you into
trouble. They own all the judges and
Jurors and can get you locked up for
libel. My advice Is to take the money
and get away"
Mast looked out into the street and
perhaps wondered what 100000 would
do for him. II would pay the mort
gage on the house in the city. 1t would
give him years of study abroad. 1t
would make him comfortable for life,
Presently he said:
Don't you think could get $500 600
to make that trip?'
The bank official scarcely hesitated.
you can. You can get 100000 IN
gold to drop this ring business and get
out Of the country"
Mast laughed Il little. He had played
the game far enough.
well. I don't think I'll do it." he
said II made up my mind long time
| ago to put some Of those fellows be-
hind the bars, and I'm going to put
| them there"
| The banker rose rather quietly.
"Only be careful. Mr.. Mast, that you
do not first put yourself in coffin" he
smiled.
1t was not until two years later that
he met Mast one day on Broadway.
"Nast" he said. you did 1t after
all"-Albert Bigelow Paine in Pear.
| sons,
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-30
How the Chinese Hatch Fish.

The Chinese have a method OF hatch.
ing the spawn Of fish and thus pro-
tccting 1t from those accidents which
generally destroy large portion Of 1t.
The fishermen collect from the margin
and surface OF water all those gelat>
nous masses which contain the
spawn Of fish, and after they have
found a sufficient quantity they fill
with II the shell Of fresh hens egg.
which they have previously emptied.
stop up the hole md put it under a
sitting fowl. At the expiration Of
certain number Of days they break tina
shell in water warmed by the sun.
The young fry are presently hatohed
and are kept In pure fresh water till
they are large enough to be thrown
into the pond with the old fish. The
sale Of spawn for this purpose forms
m important branch Of trade in
China.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-30
"Watch nc spit this bantam cock :"

"Watch me spit this bantam COO"
throne and its occupant, whom he sub
jected to an even more deliberate in.
vestigation.
"ls it man or manikin. gentle mis-.
tress?" he asked after concluding his
examination.
She did not delgn to answer, but the
offended Triboulet waved his wooden
sword vindictively.
"Nanikin" he roared and sprnng
with vicious lunges upon the dukes
jester. who. falling back before the
suddenness Of the assault. whipped out
bis weapon in turn and, laughing,
threw himself into an attitude Of de-
Tense.
"A mortal combat" cried the cardl.
nails wit snapper
"Chnrles V. and Francis" exclaimed
Caillette, referring TO the personal
challenge which had once passed be-
tween the two great monarchs. with
q throne for the victor!' lie added gay
~, indicating Triboulet's chair of state.
The clatter and din awoke Rabelais,
who drowsily regarded the combatants
with lackluster gaze and undoubtedly
thought himself once more amid the
fanciful conflicts Of fearful giants.
'Fall to, Pantagruel, my merry pala-
DIM he exclaimed enthusiastically.
"Cut, slash. stab. fence and justle"
And himself, reaching for an imagi.
nary sword, encountered the tankarl
which he would have raised to his lips
but that his shaggy head fell again
to the board before his willing arm
had obeyed the passing impulse of his
sluggish brain.
"Fence! Justlc" he murmured, and
slept once more.
But the parrot, again disturbed,
could not so easily compose itself to
slumber Whipping its head from
its downy nest 1t outspread it's gray
wings gloriOusly and screamed and
shouted as though venting all the
thunders Of the Vatican upon the Of
Tending belligerents. ana above the up
roar and noise Of arms, rabblc and
bird arose the piercing voice Of Tri-
bOulet:
"Watch me spit this bantam cock."
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-30
JUNKS IN FRISCO BAY.
Chinese Craft That Ply the Waters
of the Golden Gate.
CTO BE CONTINUED.)

or the Golden Gate.
OF all the craft that pillow the waters
of San Francisco bay none are more
curious or more picturesque than the
Chinese junks. Probably few people
are aware of the existence within the
portals Of the Golden Gate of n fleet
Of these strange little boats. built on
almost precisely the same lines that
MOngolian marine architects made
fashionable many long centuries ago.
They frequent the byways rather than
the highways of the harbor. One might
visit the busy water front section every
day for a month and not be rewarded
with the sight Of junk.
The greater part of this oriental feet
In occidental waters is employed in the
shrimp fishing industry. branch Of
human activity which in this city is
almost exclusively in the hands Of the
Chinese. A few. indeed journey among
the townships located around the bay
and collect old horseshoes, kelp and
broken glass. the latter utilized in the
manufacture of sandpaper. Others are
used rs fishing smacks. Many Of them.
it is said. are available when there is Il
chance to smuggle Il little opium. From
vessels arriving from the east parcels
Of the drowsy drug, with floats attach
ed, have been dropped overheard. and
keen eyed junk captain has general
ly been near enough to secure the val
liable contraband. But the vigilance
Of the customs authorities has pretty
well put m end to this practice, and
the junks are now perforce engaged in
legitimate business. The other is too
risky.
The Chinese junk is In itself an illus
tratiOn OF the characteristic Celestial
imperviousness to all change. 1t is
built along lines that have remained
practically unchanged for hundreds of
years. Yet, though apparently n relic
Of past ages, this craft is not to be
despised rs II useful boat for bay pur-
poses. 1t is a very fast saier, is capa-
BILE OF resisting squally weather and Is
easily handled.
The laws of Uncle Sam take no more
cognizance of the average Chinese junk
in this harbor than Of floating log Of
wood. The vessel Is. as rule. 40 feet
long by 10 feet on the beam. 1t car
ries Que mast thirty feet high. The
crew Of shrimp boat comprises six
mcA.
The unmistakable, distinctive ear
mark Of the junk is its sail. 1t Is
typically Chinese IA huge. nearly
square thing, measuring perhaps %
feet by 80 feet Nothing is more odd
about this sail than the fact that 1t is
stayed or Slated with cane sticks at
regular intervals. three or four feet
apart. over its whole length. The effect
ia something on the lines Of Venetian
blind, stir instead Of limp, like the ev
eryday European and American sail
This Is another very old idea carrie
down to these modern times by Gu
nese conservatism. The purpose Of
Stats ia not clear. Probably they
meant to obviate the necessity Of care
fully furling and folding the sail when
1t Is down. The junk sail is run up
aud down by u pulley instead Of by
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-30

overmuch"
ooh" she said insenslbly. 1T was
written he should hang himself. Now
we'll hear how ably Audacity parleys
with Fate"
1T would be no breach Of hospital
ity. sire. to hang the princess fool"
spoke the condemned man, with no
sign Of waning confidence, "yet 1t
would seem to depreclntc the dukes
gift. Your majesty should hang the
one and spare the other. IT'S matter
Of logic" he went on quickly, ito point
out where the dukes gift ends and the
princess fool begins. A gift is n gift
until 1t Is received. The princess has
not yet received the dukes gift. There
fore your majesty cannot hang me rs
the princess fool, nor would your
majesty desire to hang me as the
dukes gift"
1mpcrceptibly the monnrch's mien re-
Taxed, for next to contest with blades
he liked the quick play of words.
answer him, Triboulet." he said.
"Your majesty your majesty" -
stammered the dwarf and paused in
despair, his wits failing him at the
critical juncture.
Enough commanded the king
sternly. a sound Of suppressed merri
ment even as he spoke startled the
gathering. "Who laughed?" he cried
suddenly. "Was it you. mistress?" fas-
tening his eyes upon the young woman.
Her head fell lower and lower like
some dark flower on slender stem.
From out of the veil Of her May hair
came voice, soft with seeming hui
milty.
ut might have been Jocko. sire" she
said. "I1c sometimes laughs like that"
Tho king looked from the woman to
the bird, then from the bird to the
woman, a gleam Of recollection in his
glance.
"lIumph." he muttered. SIS this
where you serve your mistress! Look
to it you serve not yourself ill.,
An instant her eyes flashed upward.
"My mistress is at prayer" she an
swered. and looked down again as
quickly.
"And you meanwhile prefer the droll-
cry of these madcaps to the attentions
Of our courtiers:" said Francis, more
gently. "Certes are you gypsy born?"
Her hands clasped tighter. but she
answered not, and he turned more
sternly to the new king of the motley.
"As for you" he continued, "for the
present the dukes gift is spared. But
let the princess fool look to himself.
Remember, IL guarded tongue insures
q ripe old age, and even a throne in
Fools hall is fraught with hazard.
Here, some of you. take this"-indicat-
ing the sleeping Rabeais-"and throw
1t into the horse pond. Yet see that he
does not drown. Your heads upon it.
IT'S to him France looks for learning"
He paused. CHANGING back at the
kneeling girl. You. Mistress Who
Seeks to Hide Her Face. teach that
parrot not to laugh" he added grimly.
The tapestry waved. Mute the mot
ley thrOng stared where the king had
stood. a light hand touched the arm
Of the dukes fool. and, turning. he be-
held the young woman. Her eyes We're
alight with new fire.
I'm heavens name" she exclaimed
passionately, ''let us leave. You have
done mischief enough. Follow me-
"Whereer you WILL" he responded
CALAMITY.
ITO HI, CONTINI-ED(
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-30

"Only time and art can give you
such mastery over the passions" con-
tinued the Jester. (Which one Of you
would deposc me? Who so ugly as L?
Poets, philosophers! snap my fingers
ut them. Poor moths! And you dare
bait me with newcomer! Let him
look to himsclfw From earnestness to
grandiloquence was but n step.
LET him Gomez And Triboulet, imi.
Eating the pose of Francis himself,
drew his wooden sword.
LET him Gomez he repeated fercely.
"Who?" called out q gay and reck.
less voice.
Through the doorway leading into
the kitchen stepped young man. slen-
der, almost boyish in appearance, with
light brown hair and deep set eyes that
belied the gayety and mirth Of his fea.
lures. His costume, that Of Jester,
was silk of finest texture and design,
upon which were skillfully fashioned
in threads of silver the arms Of
Charles ". king of Spnin and emperor
of Germany. the powerful rival Of
WlIOSc lIlcuuSuip uOWy
reasons Of state, the latter sought.
Smillngly the foreign Jester gazed
around the room at the unusual fur.
nishings, picturesque, yet appropriate:
at the inmates, the fools scattered
about the great board or near the
mighty fireplace; the renowned philos-
opher Rabelais, sleeping on his arms,
with hand outstretched toward the
neglected tankard; ut the striking ap-
pcarance Of the girl who looked with
casual, careless interest upon him; at
the grotesque crook backed figure he
fore the throne.
And, observing the incongruity Of his
surroundings, he laughed lightly while
his glance. turning inquiringly il not
insolently from one to the other. lin
gered in some surprise upon the young
woman. He had heard that In far
away France the motley was not c6Al
fined to men. Had not Jeanne, queen
of Charles l.. possessed her jestress
Artaude de puy. "folle to our deaf
companion" as said the king? Had
not Nine dor, wearer of the bells
kept the mobiles laughing? Had moi
the naughty. eccentric Don John his
handsome. merry joculatrix attached
to his princely household?
But knowing only by runor of these
matters, the jester from abroad looked
hard ut her, the first madcnp in petit
coats he had ever seen. For Aer part
Jacqueine bore his scrutiny with visi
bic annoyance.
"Well." she said impatiently, flasf
of resentment In her fine eyes, 'havt
you conned me over enough?"
TOO much. mistress" he replied, II
nOwise abashed. IAN it hath displeas
ed you. Too little to please myself"
Yourself" she returned, with sud
den anger at his persistent gaze
"Somc lords plaything to beat or whip
a toy
"And yet a poet who can MAKE
rhymes on woman's beauty" he an
swered. with careless laugh.
"Another courtier." grumbled Tribou
let. Lacking true wit. fools nova
days essay only compliments to cove
their dullness."
With the same air of insolent amuse
ment the newcomer turned to thu
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-30

means of ring. When lowered 1t re-
mains where It falls. does not become
tangled and may be hostcd again in
stantly and without trouble.
A junk is built on the beach by Chi
nese shipbuildcrs. During last sum-
mcr new one was constructed at
Hunters Point. 1t took three months
to put It together. The builder charged
$3.50 for 1t, inclusive Of labor and ina.
terial.-San Francisco Chronicle.