The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-12
HUMoR OF TIE DAY.

E1DNlOE& OE' Il4E DAY.
McCall-who is the youngster?
Nerchant-Merely our new Office boy.
McCaIl-Oh, I see. His face seemed
familiar Merchant-Perhaps it is,
but his manner is more so.-Philadel-
phia Press.
81 don't suppose it would be Of any
use to ask you to stay to tea" she
SAID, as he was about to depart NO.
he replied, not in that style and tone
voice. Chicago News.
There's one good point about alco-
hol as medicine" said Old Doc
Spriggins. At never yet had a patient
for whom I prescribed it who forgot
when it was time to take a DOSE
Cleveland Leader.
'sWhy does a woman always add a
postscript to her Ietter?'' Well an
swered the ungallant wretch, 'she
probably figures out in her own mind
what her letter has made you think
and then tries to have the last word
Washington Star.
He-It's impossible to please every
body in this world. isn't it? She-I
don't know! I've never tried it.-De-
troit Free Press.
Easy Foote-De more a man does
de more he's capable Nv doin'. Duty
lIOfNSe kEnuQQ6flI1Rl
leads to anudder.-JudGe.
Mother wonder from whom you
inherit your talent aas a sculptor,
dear? Son-Must be from you. moth
er; I've often heard you say father
was just putty in your hands!-De-
troit Free Press.
Il suppose that feasts given by Luz
cullus were the most expensive ever
/
company was he connected with %
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
DO you think the average of hui
man wisdom is growing higher % NO.
answered the gloomy looking man.
1.-The races keep coming along every
spring and fall just as usual. Wash
ington Star.
women are certainly changeable
| creatures" said the weary looking
man. Whats the explanation" asked
the friend of the family; During our
party, my wife declared she could
not live a day without me- well %
queried the family friend. Only last
week. continued the other, "she tried
to get me to insure my life for $4,000
/ in her favor. Chicago News.
4 Really, I think your son is a gen
! JUS" oh don't say that! We have
| been hoping all along that he may grow
/ up to be a good, sensible man and fin
/ ally succeed his father in business. -
Chicago Record-Herald-
Does that man speak in his official
| capacity?'' Certainly not" answered
| Senator Sorghum. He invariably
speaks in his official incapacity. -
Washington Star.
Emily-Martha is very censorious of
people who use cosmetics. She says
she never did anything for her com
plexion. Edith-Guess that's where
she's wise, a complexion like hers is
corrigible.-Boston Transcript.
Stranger Gin oklahoma You don't
have any skycrapers out here. do you!
Sagebush George-Don' chi Any one
O. them shacks is liable to be a sky
scraper during the cyclone season.
Puck.
Molly feel so stupid today can
never in the world entertain Charlie
this evening! Dolly-Oh, well, don't
let him know you feel that way and
/ he'll never notice the dimerence.-De-
troit Free Press.
Parson Davfs-Surely. you wouldn't
call Burkins a religious man? Deacon
! Pewerby-NO, not exactly; but he's
under conviction. Leastways he al
ways goes round by the back lanes
when he starts out on q Sunday fish,
ing trip.--Boston Transcript.
Leatherhead-I heard, Miss Briefly,
that you had been entertaining a good
deal at your home recently. Miss
Britely-Yo our informant erred except
he meant that we had been entertain
ing great fears lest some misguided
person would call before we were
through house cleaning. ashington
Post.
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
From the Philadelphia Record.I
No. Maude, dear; you can't get cat