Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1905-08-04
TALK ABOUT SMOKE.

a-park boarding house, fitted with real
sonorous hotel name, one morning re-
Gently.
1t was all on account of new boarder.
The new boarder was-and is-the
| young and exceedingly winsome and at
tractive wife of a government official
whose duties require him to spend most
of his time away from Washington.
The landlady of the boarding house
knew who the young matron was, all
right for she brought her credentials
along.
But some of the feminine guests OF
the boarding house did not know any
thing about the new boarder, the land
lady belonging to the rare, unpumpable
species of her sex and occupation.
The young matron took the third
floor front, and occupied herself exclu-
sively in attending strictly to her own
business.
Being pretty and stylish and a guest
in fashionable boarding house, it fol-
lows, as matter of course, that, from
the beginning she was suspected and dis
liked by a certain coterie of the other
SueSl Vi lne ESTABLISHMENT.
One morning last week Katie, the
Opaque, middle-aged Hibernian woman
who does most of the chambermaid work
of the boarding house, saw the stump of
a cigarette on the mantel in the new
| boarder's room.
This was pleasing discovery for
Katherine, for she shared the general
| and wholly IN .yo rra ad dictrust Al.
third f1ure front"
AS soon as Kate had made up the
room, she pranced down to the second
story back and told the feminine occu-
pant what she had seen in the new board
er's room.
We'll, of all things!" exclaimed the
second story back, and she made for the
room of the second story front.
What do you Think" she exclaimed,
rushing into the second story fronts
room. That person in the third floor
front is sitting up in her room at this
blessed minute, smoking cigarette after
cigarette, and blowing the smoke out of
her nose!"
The second story front assumed the
proper attitude of horror, and the two
women made for the room of the second
story center
Great heavens!" exclaimed the Sec
ond story middle, who was peacefully
removing the kids from her front hair
can you imagine what Is going on I'M
der this very roof? That, person up in
the third floor is sitting up In her room,
smoking big, black cigars! Did you
ever hear the like of that in your born
days?"
OF course, the second story center had
never, never, heard the like in all her
born days, and her face took on an ex-
preston of extreme horror, mingled
with acidity.
She Immediately made for the apart
ment of the first floor back, accompanied
by the other two women
MY dear" inquired the second story
middle of the first floor back, ARE you
aware that there is a creature in this
house at the present moment of time
who is doing nothing else in this wide
world but smoking a clay pipe filled with
strong, black tobacco.
The first floor back almost keeled over
with the shock, but she bravely pulled
herself together and confronted the
frightful situation with a firm-set coun-
tenance.
I'VE must go at once to the landlady,"
she said, with an intonation such as
Joan of Arc might have used when she
directed an attack upon the British.
Then they all made for the apartment
of the landlady in body.
They found that kindly old gentle
woman contentedly crocheting in her
room, all unconscious of the terrific
storm that was about to swoop down
upon her.
The second floor front, the second floor
back, the second floor middle and the
first floor back marched in upon her
with gloomy faces.
Mrs. Gettbye," began the first floor
back, in hollow voice, "there is per-
son in this establishment who must be
notified to leave at once
mercy on u.s." naturally exclaimed
the landlady. What is the trouble?"
THE creature who occupies the third
! floor 'front.'" solemnly replied the first
floor back, lis shamelessly smoking an
opium pipe up in her room. brazenly
and without the slightest attempt at
concealment, at this very moment. She
must go Immediately, or we shall all
leave before the sun goes down this very
day"
The landlady was the picture of per-
turbation. She put away her fancy work
and assembled to the third floor front
She knocked on the door and heard a
CHEEKY: Come in"
She entered-and found the room filled
with smoke.
81 just came in to see if the maid
: brought you fresh counterpart" said
the kindly old lady to the new boarder
so kind of you," murmured the new
boarder. Did you ever have to smoke
J these horrid things?"
NO." replied the landlady. They are