davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25
Not Quick to judge.

Cholly-It was the first time I'd
met Crabbe, mind you, and he actually
called me a fool. Hadn't been talking
to him ten minutes, don't you know.
What sort Of fellah is he, anyway?
Miss Pepprey-Well, he's awfully
slow, for one thing.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25
Knew One of Them.

"of course, Mr.. Sophmore, you are
familiar with all the great plays" re-
marked Miss Kulcher. Now, do you
consider Goldsmiths as clever as sher-
idan's?"
Goldsmith" replied Sophmore.
HE must belong to some minor col
lege. Why, there isn't another half
back in the country that can touch
Sheridan Of our Varsity"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25
Time for Old Folks TO Retire.

Edith" the old gentleman bawlcd
from the head of the stairs, you ask
your young man If he doesn't think
It's near bed time"
Very well, pa" replied the dear
girl from the parlor; then, after
pause; Jack says yes if you're sleepy.
go TO bed, by all means"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25
Most paadIy Of Inanlts

Fweddie-"That creature actually
told me to mind my own business
y'knowi"
Cholly-"The impertinent wretchl"
Fweddie-"Po Positively insulting As
Il 70 insinuate, don't yknow, that i
was in businessi"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25
eolnn Out Lust in lime.

Coin out, eh?" she sneered, after
their quarrel.
Yes" replied her husband, I'm 60
ing to congratulate Ned Pilkinton."
You're slow. The engagement was
announced six weeks ago."
Eyes, but 1t was only broken off
yesterday"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25

Five dollars" said the medium;
thanks. Now spirit wishes to
speak to you; a female spirit; would
you like it materialized?" "Er-can
you tell who ii is?" Certainly! 1t is
your mother-in-law." Lord, no. Heres
another FIVE dollars. Don'tl"-Fort
Worth Record.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25
She Eound one.

Polly Prise-"I went to a fortune
teller to find out whom l was going
to marry"
Dolly Wyse-"So did |. And found
out"
Dolly Prise-"Oh. what fortune tell
er did you consult?"
Dolly Wyse-" "Bradstreet."
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25

WELL" he said during their quar-
rel, Il suppose you1l be wanting di-
vorce next"
Really" she replied, coldly, II don't
see why 1t should be necessary in this
case A woman doesn't need divorce
unless she has been married to a
man."
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25
WllIfnIIy Misunderstood.

Il bought couple O. dozen cham
payne glasses for my husband today"
began the talkative Mrs. Nuritch
"Indeed?" replied Mrs. Knox.
where is your husbands saloon To-
cated? Philadelphia Press.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25

ANY good shooting on your farm?"
asked a sportsman Of farmer.
Splendid" replied the agricultur-
ist; there's canvasser man down
in the clover meadow, pedlar at the
house, county board candidate out In
the barn, and two tramps down in the
stackyard Climb right up over the
fence, young man, load both barrels
and sail in"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25

lire, and the storks make the journey
in twenty-four hours, thus travelling
at the rate Of 100 miles an hour for
the whole distance. The storks which
spend the summer in central Europe
and winter in central Africa travel
with the same rapidity.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25
Not In the PueIIlstlc Line.

Bull-Yes, Miss Lang mentioned to
me last night that she knew you. BY
the way, never knew before that
you were pugilist.
Cadley-I pugilist?
Bull-Yes; she told me you were
lightweight"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25

Crabbe-"I admit | was pretty
cranky yesterday. Did the girls say
anything about it?"
Wise-"Oh. no."
Crabbe-"Funny they didn't notice
my behavior"
Wise-"I don't suppose they saw
anything unusual about It,"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25
His Annual Exhibit.

Grayce-'Is Ferdy going to exhibit
at the horse show this year,"
Gladys-"Yes; he'll probably exhibit
in his usual manner"
Grayce-"How' that?"
Gladys-"Make an ass of himself
Louisville Courier-Journal.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25
A Bas the Whistler.

Ezygo-"Here's a headline saying
Man Stopped by Whistling Bullets.
Grouch--"Yes, and If had my way
about the fellow that works at the
desk next to mine thered be a head
line some Of these days, Man Stopped
Whistling by Bullets"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25

Then cut piece Of tin ia the shape
Of No. 4, with two holes one.Quartes
Of an inch apart. This piece is for
the wings. Then put tie wings on
the tcdy rart &c. 81 ana wind
piece Of cori avcead tie piece Of
broom handle, ao1. pulling st cH rap
idly, While Ruling i off lower the
hand and the wings will Il rapidly
thgougA the air.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25

New Boarder-I wonder what makes
all the people at this table so crusty?
Regular Boarder-You would be
crusty too, if you'd had to endure as
much bacon as We Chicago
Tribune.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25

DR.. Cutts-"I made an awful mis-
take when | diagnosed that mans
case as appendicitis"
Dr. Slash What did the operation
disclose?
DIR. Cutts-That he didn't have a
Cleveland Leader
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25
The only Way to Account for Il.

Elsie-"The richest girl in England
was married few days ago to a poor
young man who has no title and has
no prospect Of getting one"
Maude-"My gracious What a
fright she must bel"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25
Not a LEADING Man.

81 don't see," complained the SOU
brette, why he is called the leading
man."
why shouldn't he be?'
Because he has been following me
about ever since joined the COM
pany."
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25
A Proverb pisproved.

Weary"
"Wot is IT, Willy?"
dat old gag about time bein'
money amt So"
"W'y amt it?"
IVY, If II wuz, you an med have
Rochyfellers fortune lookin' like a
Chadwick autograph. dats w'y!"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25

Milliner-"Why, madam. my prices
are not high!"
Lady-"Possibly not, but unfortu.
nately as am a bit short, they are
out OF my reach. Detroit Free Press.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25

'Id like to turn my wife's pug dog,
my daughters cat and my mother-in-
laws parrot all into one room and let
'em XIII each otherl"
"Ah. l see! Pet scheme of yours,
eh"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25
Her Remembrance Of Mother.

Ethel-"Papa, my teacher says I'm
getting more like mamma every day"
Papa-"Well, you mustn't talk SO
much in school, dear
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25
Her Mistake.

Nell-"I told him If he dared to kiss
me he'd be sorry fcT 1t"
Bela--"And was he?"
Nell--"No. l was the only one who
was sorry--sorry l told him."
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25

It's pretty safe bet that any woman
who doesn't gush over a pretty baby
is confirmed old maid"
Not always. She may be mother
who has baby she thinks is prettier."
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25
Proof PoaItIxn.

soques-I must have been unusu.
ally drunk yesterday.
Hoques- Why do you think so?
Soques-I found receipted biu
from my tailor in my pocket this
morning. Chicago News.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25
Whore the Rub Gomez In.

Untrayeled Youth-"I believe l will
go to Florida next week. What is the
fare?"
Traveller Elder--"Young man, if you
had enough to pay your board after
you got there, you wouldn't ask about
such a trifing incidental as the rail-
road fare. New York Weekly.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25

Reporter-"Haye you captured that
thug yet?p
Detectiye-"No, but we've got his
confession all prepared. Cleveland
Leader.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25
EASY to Guess.

81 have here an article on How to
Manage a Wife," remarked a meek
looking man as he advanced to the
editors desk.
"You are unmarried, believe" re-
piled the editor.
"Yes; why"
Nothing; | merely thought So"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25

Rather Too Thick for Tea.
What is the complaint
here?9
Orderly Offering basin)-"Taste
that, sir"
OfHcer (tasting)-"Well. l think it's
excellent soup"
Orderly-"Yes, sir; that's the trou-
BILE; they want to persuade US it's
tea. Glasgow Evening Times.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25
The Dear Girls.

Jane seemed terribly affected when
told her her uncle was dead"
did you ever know Jane to be any
other way?"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-25

He-I owe a great de to that oman over there.
She-Your mother?
He-No. My landlady.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1905-10-17
FISTICUFFs IN COURT
Winfield Scott Hancock Arrested in
 Murder Case.

WASHINGTON, Oct. IT. - The de cision of Coroner Carr of HyattsviIle, Md, to conduct behind closed doors the investigation into the death of En- ma Smallwood, for which Winfield Scott Hancock. a nephew of General Winfield Scott Hancock, was arrested on a charge of murder, caused live ly tilt between State Attorney Magru- der and Robert T. Wells, defendants counsel, and fstic encounter between Attorney Wells and a spectator, la which his father, Mayor Charles A. Wells, participated, has added interest to the case.
 The ordering of secret sessions by the coroner gave rise to rumors that sensational evidence would be adduced at the hearing. This decision was the outcome of contention by the state attorney that newspaper men and the public generally sholld be excluded from hearing any or the testimony. Att torney Wells bitterly opposed the prop osition and declared that unless the investigation was an open one he would apply for a writ of habeas cor pus and bring his client before the court for a preliminary hearing. The session of the jury was adjourned
 Some excitement was created when the jury assembled by man attempt ing to prevent Attorney Wells from en- tering the room. The attorney dealt him blow in the face, which brought blood. The man was obdurate, how ever, and applied an eplthet to the at- torney which was overheard by Mayor Wells. the attorneys father, who en- tered Into the fight. infllctlng further punishment on the man, who was final ly led away.
 A warrant for the arrest of Mrs. Amanda Mackall. the defendants sis ter, was prepared. but was not served, as the constable refused to swear to 1t, taking the ground that he did not hear the evidence upon which 1t was order ed.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1905-10-17
EAGLES FAIR OPENED
The Many Attractions Brought
 Crowds to Auditorium.

About three thousand people turned out to give the Eagles fair big send off last night and if the enthusiasm displayed by all in Eagles hall is any indication, this biggest of local fairs and social record breaker.
 The Eagles turned out in a fine street parade, about 800 men being ill line. Every marcher carried cane to which lighted Japanese lantern was attached. The effect was very pretty. There was also plenty of red fire ID the parade and along the line oi march. Fulton's American band and St Ann's drum corps supplied the martial music The parade was in charge of Marshal T. F. Halllnan, who had two aides on horseback, Joseph Warshaur, the Coney Island attrac, tion man, and Alico, the mind reader. MT Warshaur's cob did not take kind- ly to the crowd In Exchange place and made his driver display his horsemall- ship pretty briskly to prevent an acci- dent.
 The fair proper was formally opened by Hon Francis P. Guilfoile, who gave witty and timely address and set the hall a-rolling.
 Everybody was charmed with the beautiful electric and bunting decora- tions which must be seen to be appre- ciated. The hall is certainly a little "Dreamland"
 Among the booths in the hall are those in charge of J. NJ. O'Connell, ice cream cones and Mexican ball game; w. J. Hart, Japanese novelty game; Samuel Simmons & Co, Chinese laun- dry; E. J. Perry, the lone minute" sill houette maker; Madame viretta, worlds fair palmist; Morris Mates. souvenirs; B. M. Mardruo, board of imported knives; A. L. Simmons, Jap- anese jewelry; Louis Stratman, cane board; Edward Murphy, jewelry strike; K. N. Singer, candy kitchen: Alicos Japanese village of mind read CTS; J H. Ellis. maker of hat bands while you wait;;" Mrs Moss, cigar booth; Fulton Music Co, piano, phono- graph and musical display.
 The stdge performance given by Ora Cecil made a tremendous hit. Miss Cecil looks like a mere High schooh girl, but the way she handles those ferocious leopards and the stunts" she makes them perform, shows her to be a masterful trainer. Her act will be the talk of Water bury and vicinity. The animals were publicly fed after their act last night.
 Tonight there will be a confetti battle In the fair. This will be local novelty sure to please. The Nauga- tuck and Meriden aeries will attend in large numbers, five special trolley cars coming up from Naugatuck alone.
 Cleopatra, one of the dancing girls in the Turkish theater, accidentally broke off large pin in her wrist iast night after the performance and Dr David had to be called to extract the broken part. No serious result is ex- pected.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1905-10-17
PLAY FAIR, BOYS
Captain of Football Team Says He
 Didn't Get Fair Show.

Captain Ryan of the Emerald foot ball club says his team didn't get a fair show i'll the game with the Colt Juniors at Browns meadows, Sunday. At the outset, he states, the Emeralds' halfback, Brophy, was given such a drubbing that he wasn't able to play any more. Besides, the umpire gave the Colts a start of fifteen feet, which brought them clear onto the Emeralds' five foot line, but the Emeralds held them there for three downs and got the ball. Then the Emeralds carried the ball to a point within fifteen yards of the Colts goal when time was called for the first half. In the second half the Emeralds kicked to the Colts. The. latter got the ball and thereupon two spectators, West and Fitzpatrick, rushed in and started to coach the Colts, and by this means they sue ceeded in carrying the ball to the Elm eralds' line, but they were blocked there, the Emeralds making a stub born fight and holding them for two downs. Then the Colts faltered and seeing that they were blocked, they commenced to change the Emeralds' goal posts. The umpire tried to pre- vent this and while occupied with tte post the Colts right halfback was off side, although the umpire didn't see see him, and consequently nothing was said about it. Captain Ryan says that after the game he learned that the umpire is a member of the Colt Sen iors and declares that one of the lat ter told him on the way home that the game should have been declared off, In answer to question as to why he and his men didn't protest against such treatment, Captain Ryan said that they "dassent" speak else they would get punched. Captain Ryan feels pretty sore over the whole affair and considers the conduct of the Colts discreditable to themselves and an in- jury to clean sport.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1905-10-17
TIMELY TOPICS

Hubar & Co advertise many uure- deemed pledges that can be purchased for very little money.
 Mercerized petticoats are at special sale prices at Forman's. Extra size for large people.
 Remnant sale of kitchen papers at Austin & Woodruff's all day to-mor- row.
 Wednesday and Thursday will he bargain days at the big market of the Waterbury Market Co.
 It will pay you to purchase a pipe at Ferrill's on Saturday.
 You can buy clothes with comfort from Guarantee Credit Go. They give plenty of time to pay.
 The Elting Clothing Go, in the old postoffice building, has a swell line of fall and winter clothing.
 Great stamp bargains for Wednes- day at the Union Supply Cos; so stamps with one pound of coffee.
 Pretty patent leather shoes for your girl. si.25 to S2, at J. c. Jackie & Sons.
 Miller X Peck has a supply of boys furnishings, blouses, caps. etc. Bring adv with you for stocking values.
 Dodge has some high cut shoes that are suitable for hunters See his adv to-day about them.
 The strongest kind of clothing for boys at ]. B. Mullings & Sons. You get full value every time.
 Three days sale of top coats at Up- son. Singleton & Co.'S. See the lines priced $S75 and S11.T5.
 Reid & Hughes have a line of silks and yelvets in all the new fall shades
 A sale of winter underwear for men, women and children at Curran's Stock bought before the rise.
 Two great grocery days are prom ised to patrons of the Public market Wednesday and Thursday.
 A. F. Cowles has made reduction on all hats purchased at his store Thursday. Ask for it
 Special sale of finest Alaska salmon at A. & F. Tea Co.'S. Read about spe- cial price values tonight
 When you want 10 read about good shoes, or better still. to wear them, see Colby Sherwood Co.
 The Hampson-Sellew Co has just re- ceived another lot of Gleuwosd ranges, the kind that bake
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1905-10-17
NUTMEG CRAVINGS.
Interesting Items Boiled Down Fol The Benefit of Our Busy Readers.

Salvatore Carbon, the Italian who was mortally wounded Sunday night at New Haven by a shot from a re- volver. alleged to have been fired by Francesca Tramontano, died at the New Haven hospital yesterday after noon about 4:30 o'clock.
 Welcome Burdick. farmer, aged 75 years, committed suicide yester- day at his home in Escoheag by cut ting his throat with razor. His body was found under an apple tree in his yard. Burdick leaves two sons and a daughter. He was a Second Adventist in religious belief. The cause of his suicide is not known.
 singular state of affairs existed in Plainville yesterday, for, while Justice NJ. O. Ryder was meteing out justice upstairs in the town hall, downstairs in the same building. Max Rosenbaum, a Hartford junk dealer, was caught in the act of stealing fau- cets from the water pipes. As Justice Ryder was engaged, Justice Dresser heard the case and Rosenbaum was fined ST for being without a license, and $5 for theft; with costs 1t amount ed to S1s.41. and Rosenbaum asked the justice to reduce the fee from $1S.41 to $15. The justice refused to budge and the junk dealer settled.
 John Hughes of Wethersfeld died at the Hartford hospital yesterday morning of an injury to his brain. which he suffered week ago, but of the serious nature of which he had been ignorant until Sunday. A week ago Saturday night Hughes ran to catch a wethersfield trolley car at the corner of Elm and Main streets and he was knocked down by a team driv- en by William Myers of Eliot street He was dazed but recovered sufficient ly to get home He worked several days last week and did not think his injury amounted to much. although his head pained him. On Sunday his head troubled him so much that he went to the Hartford hospital but 1t was too late to save him. He died about S:30 yesterday morning of concussion of the brain.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1905-10-17

TT o RENT = Tenement sf rse-s. i7s l Avsn svsuus zext ts Town Fist schseL Fer pzrfcalsrs cal sn Jz-es Mitchell Is3 Easi Main street Is, fIssr ts <ft
 nIT7
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1905-10-17
candidnte Hurt hr Erplo.lon.

ASBURY PARK, N. j., Oct. IT, Larry Mccormick, Democratic candi- bate for coroner in Monmouth county, ETas totally blinded by an explosion of Formaldehyde which he used for disin- ,ecting purposes at Belmar. He was found unconscious in Belmar house. Two children, who were upstairs and lad been partially overcome by the fumes, were also rescued.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1905-10-17
Labor Leaders Sudden Death,

NEW YORK. Oct. 17.-Suicken with cardiac dilation while visiting Mss Labor, a friend. whose home Is at 5s1 Lexington avenue. John J. PaIlas. pres ident of the park board. Tammany pol itician and one of the most prominent labor leaders in Greater New York. died suddenly here. Mir. Pallas had been in poor health from kidney trou- ble for several weeks.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1905-10-17
Mon.t.r wen Berond control.

PARKERsBURG, W. Va. Oct. IT, The Philadelphia Gas company. operat. ing in Lewis county. has struck mon ster gas well. The gas Is beyond all control. and its roar can be heard for five miles Every effort to control the gas has failed.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1905-10-17
Yaqul Indian. XIII Boston Man

HERMOSILLO. Mexico, Oct. IT, John c. Anderson, a resident of Bos ton, who has been in Mexico for sev. eral years looking out for his extensive mining interests. has been murdered by Yaqui Indians. Edgar ]. Jones, an American mining engineer, who was with him. was also killed. The two Americans made hard fight for their lives, killing five of the Indians.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1905-10-17
nr-. wiI.en H.. Reeorer.a.

BRIDGEPORT, Conn, Oct IT.-Mrs. Janet L. Wilson of New York. who st- tempted suicide at a Milford hotel by shooting herself in the breast a few days after her escape from a hospital st Poughkeepsie. N T.. has been dis charged from the Bridgeport hospital Mrs. Wilson is said to have fully re- covered
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1905-10-17
FATHER NEAI.E u.FcTEn

Terryville. Oct 17.-Rev John Neaie. rector of the church of the Immaculate Conception. has been elected a member of the school committee of the town of Plymouth. tO succeed Richard Bald win Rev Father Neale fs a member of the board of examiners of the di0- cese of Hartford
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1905-10-17
Negro Held h Ths-p.ss uuraer.

RICHMOND. Va. Oct 17.-A negro snsvsring fairiy well the description of the supposed murderer of Editor Ja- cob H Thompson of New York vas ar rested here Isst night. He gave the nsns of Moses Mortsn when aTralEned ln cowt
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1905-03-16
OAkVlLLE.

There is some talk OF moving the
Workmen lodge to Gate City.
The ReLekahs are studying o play
which they will produce soon.
The Royal Neighbors are getting up
an entertainment for March 81.
Miss Alice Meyers, who has been liv-
ing on Garrard creek, has returned.
James A. Garrard, one of the first
settlers in the valley bearing his name,
was in town Wednesday.
Chris McGinn, who had been saving
for the Oakville Shingle Co., went to
Montesano Sunday, where he has EN-.
ployment.
The fine weather has reduced the
price of eggs. Better have the hens 60
on strike for few weeks in order to
reduce the overproduction.
The Cedarville farmers do not want to
be behind the times on the telephone
proposition and are talking of having
the line extended 80 as to take in the
farms on the south side Of the river.