davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-09-17

And most ball players OF the major
leagues are quick to contract luxurious
ing in the matter of comforts and luxu-
ries while travelling. The finer enjoy
ments of travel become necessities to
them. They catch on to all of the new
the world. They become addicted to the
very finest food, they smoke the best CT
CARS, they go in for the best togs that
can be got for money, and all that sort
OF thing.
In their leisure hours they find them
selves associated, around the corridors Of
hotels with all sorts of moneyed round
ers and dead game sports with big bank
rolls. By the time the average ball play
~cr has been jamming around the country
for two or three years with major
league ball club he is mighty dainty BIT
of china, so to speak. He may have only
the thinnest veneer of education, but he
knows how the swell ducks" coddle and
indulge themselves, and he has joined
the luxurious push. and his humble corn
ed-beef-and day seems as remote from him
as the day when he first went In swimmin'
In the old "crick.
great many ball players are of very
humble origin. There are. 1t Is true, q
good many coilegians and men OF early ed
ucational advantages breaking into the
game nowadays. but the great majority OF
the players are chaps from the lesser and
side trails OF life. and the poorest youthful
surroundings; chaps who had to literally
fight their way to recognition.
When man of this sort drifts into lux
urious habits, and the inevitable day ar
riyes when with the ''can" appended to
him. he finds himself stripped of the op-
portunity to enjoy the things he has been
indeed. licking as he does the education
instilled nerve and philosophy to take any
other but jaundiced and gloomy view OF
his fallen. estate.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13
TOM FREED JERRY.

Tom and Jerry are sixteen. year
horses owned by Jersey City law
yer who has a farm at New Bruins
wick, N. J. They are greatly at
tached to each other and are appa-
rently miserable unless together.
Jerry has been blind for several
years and Tom has appointed himself
his mates guardian. They occupy
adjoining stalls and spend hours rub
bing noses.
For long time after Jerry lost his
sight the stableman found the blind
horse in his companions stall every
morning. He couldn't understand
how he managed to unite the halter,
and told his employer that he guessed
somebody was playing pranks in the
stable.
But the pranks continued so long
that he was directed to solve the mys-
terry. He hid in the hay, where he
could get full view of Tom and
Jerry in their stalls, and waited de-
velopments.
They came at late hour. Tom
showed his nose over into Jerry's stall
and whinned. Jerry poked his nose
close up to Toms ear, and the man
in the hay was almost certain that he
saw the horse with the good eyes
smile.
Then Tom turned his head around
and looked all over the stable as if to
learn if the coast was clear. A mo-
ment later he was tugging away at
the blind horses halter with his teeth
and he didn't stop until his team mate
was free.
Old Jerry slowly backed out of his
stall and crowded in alongside Tom,
who greeted him with an unmistaka-
BILE neigh of delight. This trick was
repeated night after night, and now
the horses spend half their time in
Tom stall.
The sorrels have been pensioned
off and are living in ease and luxury
on the farm as a reward for faithful
service.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13
"Why, the rope might break.


Dimple thrust his hands into his
pockets and regarded his wife with
an expression of despair.
"Mrs. Dimple, your wisdom as
tounds me-" he said feelingly. ut
is true that the rope might break, it
might break into a thousand infini-
tesimal fragments. Also the law of
gravitation might become reversed
and drop you up to the clouds instead
of down to the ground. But neither
is likely, Mrs. Dimple. These ropes
are strong enough to swing an ele-
phant over the moon. / haven't
overlooked anything, madam, in ar
ranging this piece of mechanism.
The invention is perfect in all its de-
tails. I'm going to haveit patented,
and people who live in fats on the
seventh floor, as we do will have no
more fear from fire than they would
on top of an iceberg"
"But don't you think we could get
along with the regular fre-escape p
MRS. Dimple, fyou consider your-
self a trained acrobat, you are at lib
erty to make an exhibition of your
self that way; but I'm too fat for
that sort of gymnastics. And you'd
cut nice figure too, clambering down
that perpendicular ladder, and the
street full of men, wouldn't you,
now? Besides, we'd fall and break
our necks if we attempted it,
Dimple looked at his watch and
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13
A PHILOSOPHICAL PRooFREADER soLILO-
QUIzRS.

Reading proof is hard on the eyes,
but the strain is not nearly SO great
as making muzzles for microbes.
Any man of spirit will rise to the
occasion if you tread on his pet corn.
While the boss is a man of steel,
I've often known him to lose his tenn
per.
I've noticed that the seasons do
not agree with each other. Just now
there is decided coolness between
autumn and spring.
Most truthful men rarely speak of
themselves.
The boss continually calls his wife
an angel, but I don't see the use of
harping on it, for she talks with a
twang.
am certain that the phonograph
is of the feminine gender, because it
repeats everything it hears.
A pessimist, to my pind, is man
who may hope, but doesn't expect to
be realized.
Many men of strong will have died
intestate.
Don't 60 back on your friends if
you want to get to the front.
Though the fat man is supposed to
be good. d.natured, it is always best for
the sleeping car porter to give him a
wide berth.
There are good many girls in our
bindery who are not staid and
straight-laced, even if they do wear
corsets.
We are sure to shorten our days if
we lengthen Our nights.
When some people receive favor,
they look as if they expected a trading
stamp with it.
If pride would only tumble to itself,
it wouldn't 60 before a fall.
The festive frog has no regrets for
the passing of leap year.-Maste'
Printer.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13

BY EDWIN HIGGINS.
Ethereal sparks from celestial fire
Are stirring the soul Of the silent wire;
Inspiring songs of an Eolian choir
For the sweetened lips of the throbbing wire.
The changeable winds in lucid attire
Lend variant moods to the tuneful wire.
The hand of lover caressing his Tyre
Is the breath Of Spring to the trembling wire.
Blithe as strains of a frolicksome flyer
Are the soaring notes of the Summer wire.
In scarlet and gold kneel priests by their pyre
Coming the tunes of the Autumnal wire.
No languid orchestra playing for hire.
But brave. lusty singers-the Winter wire.
The blasts of Boreas shouting. conspire.
Hurl tempests Of bass to the surging wire.
From roadbed and path to regions higher
Leap rhythms OF sound to sing with the wire.
The music of runner and restless tire
Blends songs of the snow with songs OF the wire.
The jingling bells on colt. dam and sire
Are 1ingling, jingling TO the dancing wire.
For business aud hustle work days require
The bright, buoyant songs of the morning wire.
When night is enthroned with songs we retire
To home, sweet home, by the old trolley wire.
Abroad through the country speed bugle and
Tyre;
Down beneath the oceans singers with fire
Watt songs Of goodwill on wings OF the wire.
In light of repose. through blackness of ire,
Ever and on chants the grand choral wire.
Diapasons. Lol Times torches afire
Illumine the world with songs of the wire.
The chords of life swept by lofty desire
Attune with the songs OF harps OF gold wire.
Would the currents of love all hearts inspire
And clasp the globe like the encircling wire
O, nations, hasten! OF dread carnage tire
With honor, in peace, lift harps of gold wire.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13
SANG WITH THE PRESIDENT.

Charley Shope, formerly of Cham
bersburg, Pa, but now employed in
the Navy Yards, at Washington,
D. c., writes home Of an experience
he had several weeks ago which he
will not forget. A week ago last
Sunday, the first Sabbath Mr.. Shope
was in Washington, he started to at
tend church which looked inviting
and sauntered in. 1t was early and
the congregation had not assem-
bled.
Mr.. Shope was not met by an ush-
er and found a seat towards the
front Of the church, making himself
comfortable to wait for the sermon.
He had not been placed long until
MISUNDERSTANDING gentleman
walked briskly up the aisle and sat
down beside him.
Mr.. Shope took no particular no.
tice of his new pew-mate until the
first hymn was announced and the
congregation arose to sing. The
man beside him offered Mr.. Shope a
share of his hymn book and the latter
accepted, the two men singing Justify
with the congregation. Mr.. Shope
saysin his letter that he was pleased
with the powerfulness and clearness
of the voice of his companion and en-
joyed hearing him sing.
Throughout the service the man
together and sang from the same
book. When the benediction was
announced the stranger turned to
Mr.. Shope and extended his hand,
giving Mr.. Shope hearty grasp and
a welcome to the church.
"Are you stranger in Washing
toni? inquired the church member,
Mr.. Shope told him that he was and
came to this church merely by chance
not being familiar with the locations as
yet. :
II am President Roosevelt" was
the remark which astonished the
Chambersburg man. "This is my
pew, but you are welcome at any
time. I hope to see you at our church
often"
Mr.. Shope writes that he was never
closer to fainting in his life, so COM
plete was his surprise, especially at
having been permitted to sit with the
President during the church service
when the Chief Executive is always
SO closely watched by secret service
men. When he looked at the Presi-
dent he knew at once, from his print
ed photograph, who he was.
Mr.. Shope's admiration for Roose-
velt, the man, is now higher than it
ever was before. The church was
the Memorial Reformed Church, and
the pastor is the Rev. DIR. Schick.-
Cham6ers6nrg (Pa.) Opinion.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13
SHAVED WHILE HE SLEPT.

my first day in India, said the
tourist, II was surprised when |
awoke in the morning to feel how
smooth my face was.
"'By Jove, said, how slowly
my beard grew yesterday. I hardly
need to shave today
"It is, however, matter of reh-
gion with me to shave every morning,
and so / babe the native servant, a
man provided by my host, to fetch
my shaving things. The native
smiled"
+" But you are already shaved, sir,
hesaid.
'Alraedy shaved?' said I.
"'Yes SIR he answered. 'Ishav-
ed yon while you selpt. That is the
custom here.
ST found that he was right.
found that in India these wonderful
native servants shave their masters
in bed every morning without waking
them.
"All through my stay in India
was shaved like that. 1t was almost
enough to keep me in that hot and
horrid country forever. "-LouiS0EllI
/ou,naI.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13
sTORYETTEs.

A clergyman, recently engaged
with another OF different belief in
controversy regarding some question
of religion, sent to newspaper oflce
a long article supporting his side OF
the question. The manuscript had
been ''set up in type for the next
days issue. About midnight the
telephone bell rang furiorsly, the
minister at the other end asking for
the city editor. "I am sorry to trou-
bic you at such late hour" he said,
'but / am in great trouble" "What
can / do for you?" was asked. "In
the article 1 sent you today put
Daniel in the fiery furnace. Please
take him out and put him in the lions
den."
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13
THE SWEETEST OF THEM ALL.

You poet folks may sit and sing
About the birds Of early spring,
An tell of how the robin
From tree to tree goes bObbip',
Or how much joy he brings.
Whene'er he stops an sings.
But there's nicer bird than that:
Sometimes she's thin sometimes she's fat
She has the sweetest song Of all.
Listen Hear her calf
Don't? I'll tell you, then:
It's just 1.-THE useful hen ~
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13

"DoN'r you think" asked Mrs.
Oldcastle, "that every body is affected
more or less by environment
'Yes," replied Mrs. Packenham,
eff they're foolish enough to take
such things, but / always turn down
my glass and never touch it."
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13
NO ESCAPE.

The following telephone conversa-
ton is reported to have been heard
between a certain we'll known young
fnancier and a society woman whose
functions are considered somewhat
boring:
rs this Mr."
Eyes"
"This is Mrs.-Won't you give
us the pleasure of your company at
dinner on Monday 7"
II am so sorry Mrs.-but ! have an
engagement for Monday"
"Can you come Tuesday, then2"
why, it is most unfortunate. but
I have partial engagement for
Tuesday also."
well, how about Wednesday? :"
"Oh, hang it I'll come Monday !"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13
II WANT half a pound Of waite

II WANT half a pound of water
crackers" said Mrs. Newcome.
"I'm all fred sorry, ma'am," re-
piled the country storekeeper, "but
I amt got but two dozen of 'em in
the place."
"Well, will take them. )"
"Jest wait ten minutes. Hi Peters
an Josh Slocum has been usin' 'em
fur checkers an they're playin' the
decidin' game now."
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13
OF ALL GLAD WORDS.

What spoiled for Adam Eden's spell
Till Eve arrived on earth to dwell?
He didn't have soul to tell:
II told you So"
When Noah landed safe ashore
What was 1t made him glum and sore?
No man was left at whom to roar:
II told you So"
When Earth's last man shall stand alone,
Why will he make his loudest moan?
There will be none to hear him groan:
II told you So"
Thus in all ages and all climes,
With all experience it chimes,
Until our epitaph is Times:
II told you So"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13

"Why do you think ] am a
poor Judge of human nature? She
Because you have such good opin-
ion of yourself"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13

AL1cE-It would be strange if
Cholly shonld marry a girl as silly as
himself. Clara-Yes; it would be
two souls without a single thought.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13

Miss Oldblood-Are your family
early settlers?
Mrs Newblood-Yes, paw always
pays every bill on the first of the
month.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13

GRAcE-Weren't you very nervous
while Jack was proposing9"
Phoebe should say so was so
afraid he would be interrupted.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13
THE WONDERFUL FIRE ESCAPE.


IT always knew that / was born
Inventor" said Dimple, as he stood
back and surveyed the result of his
labor with complacent smile on his
round face. "Talk about fire-esca-
pes Here's something that lays
over anything that was ever invented
in that line, and it's just as simple as
a pair of suspenders. It's admirably
suited to these tall buildings too.
What do you think of it, my dear 7"
Mrs. Dimplc eyed the queer-look-
ing arrangements of ropes, pulleys
and wooden framework which her
husband had fitted up in the recess of
one Of the deep bay-windows over
looking the street.
Tit isn't very ornamental"
"Oh, that's what you think of it,
is it 7" and something in Dimple's
voice made her wish that she had
thought twice before speaking. II
suppose if you were called upon to
give your opinion of an improved
pile driver your objection would be
that it was not built in the style of
the French Renaissance. No, Mrs.
Dimple, it is not ornamental. It is
neither a cuckoo clock nor a plush
album. If you think it's the mission
of fire-escape to look beautiful and
esthetic, you're using your alleged
mind to mighty poor advantage. It
is clear that if you had your way you
would string these pulleys with yell
low ribbons instead of ropes, and
have a red-white anG blue hammock,
instead of this stout leather sack, to
let yourself down in"
"But it looks kind of complicated, "
said Mrs. Dimple, 81 don't quite see
how you are going to make it work. F"
"Of course you don't p snorted
Dimple with reddening face. "You
wouldn't be woman if you were
capable of grasping an idea after it
had been explained to you hundred
times. Here I've been putting in
four hours day for two weeks on this
thing, and explaining the component
parts Of the apparatus as put them
together, and now you don't Under
stand how it can be made to work.
Maybe you think it's a sort of me-
chanical mule that'll balk and push
backward and kick the dashboard to
flinders when you try to make it go.
You may thank your stars, Harriet,
that am a paragon of patience and
good-nature, and stand ready to ex-
plain to you for the five-hundredth
time the workings of this simple con-
triyance.
"Now, see here" and Dimple,
with the air of a dime-museum lee
turer, stepped forward and placed his
hand on one of the essential parts Of
the tackle, "all you've got to do.
when there's FIRE, is to get into this
leather sack"
"Oh, myl 1t looks just like a
big mail pouch.
"Never mind it will carry females
as we'll as males. All you've got to
do is to get into this sack. Eh? Feet
first, of course. You wouldn't ex-
pect to stand on your head, would
you? And then swing yourself out
of the window. At the same time
you must take hold of this cord. The
harder you pull on the cord the faster
you will descend, and in any case you
will be lowered to the sidewalk gently
and safely
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13

"Is MARRIAGE a failure ?" You can
never tell till you've seen the we'd
ding presents"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13

Some years ago Phillips Brooks
was recovering from an illness, and
was denying himself to all visitors,
when Robert Ingersoll called. The
Bishop received him at once. II
appreciate this very much, said Mr.,
Ingersoll, "but why do you see me
when you deny yourself to your
friendsl' ''It is this way" said the
bishop: II feel confident of seeing
my friends in the next world, but
this may be my last chance of seeing
you."
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13

An Ohio man who was recently
elected to Congress, went to Wash
ington to look around and see what
his duties were. He was Hospitality
received, and was wined and dined a
great many times by his colleagues.
Before he went home he said to his
friends: 'By George, have had a
good time / have had dinners and
breakfastsan suppers galore given to
me. In fact, I haven't had my knife
out of my mouth since I struck
town."
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13

A PARTY of travelling men were at
breakfast in the hotel cafe. 81 ought
to be half way to Washington by this
time" remarked one, "but I've miss
ed the early train. Forgot to leave
call and oversight
you're easy" Clipped in another
ST have scheme for getting me up
at the right time that is infallible.
It's simple, too. five been up with
the boys to 4 A. M. and must catch
train at 6 O'Clock, lie down on my
cot with shoe in each hand. When
I drift into slumber I'm sure to drop
one shoe and the bump wakes me.
I equip myself with both shoes again
and repeat the performances. In
that way really get sleep on the in
stallment plan and am never in dan
ger of missing connections.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13

PoLITENEss is not only the most
powerful, but the cheapest argument
known.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13

]. H. Weaver, mayor of Philadel-
phia, tells story of a friend whose
stoutness and constant good humor
are his chief distinctions. I'VE hap
pened to be talking on the subject of
gastronomy," said the mayor, land
somehow my friends tremendous
girth prompted me to ask him if he
followed any set rules to guide him in
his eating. I have just one rule, ;
he replied, humorously, and it's a
winner. When / sit down to eat ]
sit six inches or so from the table, and
when touch I'm done.'
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13
THE GRAY so1RREL.

Zone of the most familiar sounds
of the summer woods isithe rattling
bark of the red SQUIRREL" writes an
observer. "The tones of his voice
are varied, and there is a great diff
ference between his angry bark, his
cry of fear, the chattering monologue
with which he addresses an intruder
on his domain, the running fire of rep
artees. which is the constant accom-
paniment of the antics of pair at
play and the long rafting roll call
which he utters apparently from sheer
enjoyment of the sound or as chal-
lenge to some unseen enemy of his
own tribe and which reverberates
through the woods often with sufi-
cient force to carry the sound for as
much as half to three-quarters of
mile. 1--we listen for an instant when
we hear one of these challenges sent
forth we may hear it answer fromed
some distant point so family that we
cannot be certain that it is not an
echo. Some other male has heard the
challenge and, detecting the self sat-
isfied note in it, has answered, and
we may be fairly certain that they are
fastening toward each other, each
with the intention of annihilating his
foe or at least teaching him a les
son.
"Gray squirrels, unlike most of the
rodents, do not hibernate in the win
ter time, but are abroad and very ac-
tive during most of the season. Their
nests are then in hollow trees, but
they usually leave these retreats in
March and build airier and less vermin
infested abodes in the tree tops CT
leaves and twigs. If you can watch
a gray squirrel gathering nuts in the
fall you will see him take nut in his
chrek pouch and hop along the ground
testing it every few yards with his
front feet. When he has fonnd a
spot entirely to his liking he will scoop
out shallow hole and, placing the nut
in it, will cover it up with the loose
earth. This he will stamp down and
and restore TO its former condition by
scraping the loose leaves and small
stones over it.
"This performance he repeats again
and again in that and other localities
until he has hidden away in this man
ner large quantity Of nuts, one squir-
rel often burying several hundred.
In the winter, as he needs them, he
unearths these nuts, and tits wonder
full how unerringly he can go to his
various caches,' even though, as fire.
quently happens, they may all been
covered with foot or more of snow. "
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13

R. J. Wynne, the Postmaster Gen.
eral, tells story about small boy
who was invited to party given by
one of his little friends. After he
had eaten ice.cream and cake three
times, somebody offered him some
candy, but the little chap shook his
head and said in a sorrowful tone: II
can chew but can't swallow"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1905-05-13
For "THE UNION"
SONGS OF THE WIRE.


Suggested by the Many Wires on Park Heights
Avenue, in the City and County.