Perth Amboy evening news., 1905-02-04
Mr.. PHIPPS' HEN.
BY MAX ADELER.

phipps. observed a yellow luid OF some
Kind issuing from the waterspout on
lthe smokehouse. Upon examining It
closely. he ascertained that it was the
yclk of an egg. For several successive
DAYS it continued to drip from the spout,
and Mr.. Phipps was perplexed about it.
He hadn't noticed that the weather had
been raining omelet, or that there was
any particular quality in the shingles OF
the smokehouse roof that would be like
~ to induce them to indulge in a spon-
taneous production of custards. He
determined to watch, and on the fol-
lowing day he obsemed his shanghai
hen fly to the roof OF the smokehouse.
settle down right over the aperture OF
the w~aterspout, and lay an egg. MI
Phipps had not the remotest idea what
to do about it, so he let the hen lay on
for several days, while he thought OF q
plan for discouraging her from operit-
ing In that particular spot.
One day, however, when he vent out,
~ Ohhh lhC iCL sNatNitir VA VIZ
spout, manifestly with the impression
that an earnest effort would enable heF
to hatch out the eggs she bad dropptd
INTO the pipe.
MIR. Phipps' friend, Rogers VINO lives
4ext door, climbed over the fence and
Sdvised him to get a ladder and pun inc
hen of. Mr.. Phipps did so, and then
Rogers said ii It was his hen he would
Timply plug ap the hole,
Mr.. Phipps drove a plug IN the spout
and descended. A. soon as he reached
the ground the hen flew up and began to
try to hatch out Inc plug. Rogers said
that he thought she might perhaps be
scared on, so he threw a piece ofibrick
at her, but it missed the hensand went
straight through Phipps' dining-room
window.
Then Rogers said that il he owned a
hen like that he would stop her ii he
had 10 blow her UP with powder. So
Phipps got four ounce of gunpowder
and packed il into the lower end OF
the spout, and Rogers touched " off
with u match. Ii merely s!zz!ed out.
like Il young volcano. and set fire 70
lh!pps' trouser leg.
Rogers then said the poy0er ought
to have been "tamptd." So he put an
other charge in the spoat. and then drove
a ~white-pine plug in. leaving q girnlet-
hole for 1hc slow match. The exfnr.-
ment was in a degree successful. There
was a fearful bang, and the next min
ute Phipps' eccentric chicken vas sail
ing up toward the celestial conste!!a-
lions. with q plug in hes CLAWS. she
went up almost cut OF sight. auG then
she came down, down, down, ald
lighted Squ2rely 0vcr the spout hC!c.
expressing. by q caclie or two, her sur
prise. but, upon the whole. calm arc
sweet tempered. and as resolutely dis
posed as ever to give ner attention
strictly to business.
Rogers remarked that Tor q mere
shanghai chicken she had real genius.
lie said there vas only = thing 10
do ROW, and that was to turn the gar
den hose on her. So Phipps got out
the hose, and Rogers took the pipe and
played a half-Inch stream directly Oh
the hen. The hen seemed rather to en-
JOY il, for she cackled in a pleased way,
and Rogers told Phipps To turn the water
of, while he climbed on the roof TO get
& better crack at her. SO, while Rogers
was going up the ladder, holding the
pipe against his breast with one arm
Phipps, who must have misunderstood
him, suddenly turned the water On
again, and the stream struck Rogers In
the nostrils, nearly choking him and
causing him to let go his hold on the
ladder, and fall to the ground. When
ne got up he said a man who would own
such a hen as that was, in his opinion,
no better than g pirate and q pagan,
and So he got over the fence and went
home.
Phipns went after him and apologized.
and then he asked Rogers to lend him q
shotgun SO that he could kill the chicken,
Rogers agreed, and he climbed back over
the fence with the gun in his hand.
Phipps took the gun and fired. Hemissed
the chicken and blew the entire eupo!a
off the smokehousc. Then Rogers said
that there were some mon who knew
no more about firing a gun than a TOM
cat knows about idOlatry. SO Rogers
took the weapon, aimed carefully, and
pulled the trigger. About one shot hit
the hen, and the remainder struck q
COW IN an adjoining lot, exciting her so
that She hooked a boy and threw him
over a five-rail fence. The hen flew
up on top Of Phipps' house. and for a
quarter of an hour cackled as II she
had laid 900 eggs a minute.
Phipps proposed to fire at the hen
again, hui Rogers sarcaStically init
mated that if he cid he would probably
nit Mrs. Phipps. who was churning
milk in the cellar. Then Phipps told
Rogers tQshoot, and Rogers did so. with
the result that he missed the chicken
, and broke eight panes of glass in
Phipps' garnet window. Then Rogers
said Phipps must have spoiled the Gun
| by fooling with it, and he climbed the
| fp~ca auoip onJ urapf hnu,a r,-