davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The statesman., 1905-04-21
The Soft Answer.

At certain inn on the fashionable
eastern shore of Massachusetts, the
proprietor is noted for his easy-going
disposition and his lisp. 1t happened
that the coffee was never just right
and the women guests, after piazza
talk, finally went to the proprietor and
complained. He promised to have the
matter looked into at once A week
passed with no noticeable improve
ment, so complaint was again made.
Said one of the women: Really. Mr.
s., the coffee was worse than ever
this morning"
"Yes.' ohimed in another. even
worse than in Nice, where they boil
ehicory and call it coffee"
"And I've just had to take chocolat,
which detest!" added the third
matron.
Finally the proprietor turned. Will
bis anable smile and lisp and re-
marked:
Was it that bad, weally? Well.
am glad l took tea
The statesman., 1905-04-21
HAD A FELLOW FEELING.
CRATER Ready with Offer Of Aid to
Busted" Snort.

Hard luck had persistently followed
him. The little ivory ball would not
drop on the right number; il he bet on
black, red was sure to turn up, and
vice versa. He sauntered over to the
faro table and invested his remaining
IS only TO see it go the way of his
other bills. When he left the gam
bling place at midnight, he had just
two nickels in his possession.
On his way to the trolley car, at
Third avenue and Forty-second street,
he passed the Grand Central station.
Just outside the main entrance stood
a well-dressed young man, who ac-
costed the busted" sport with:
Say, friend, I'm up against it.
Been down here seeing the sights and
went broke, need ten cents more to
pay my fare back to Nyack. Can you
stake me?"
With plying smile, the sport drew
forth his two remaining nickels.
That's all l have he said. i've
been up against It, too II give you
this ten cents, III have TO foot it
home"
The well-dressed man chuckled. is
this on the level?" he asked.
"surest thing you know replied the
sport
We'll, say, III lend you a half II you
want It. The graft has been good to-
night" and the well-dressed young
man hauled out handful Of coins, Sc
lected two quarters from the assort-
ment, and proffered them to the sport
New York Press
The statesman., 1905-04-21
AN AMBUScADE. A
Danger In kissing Your Wife II You De
1t ut the Wrong Time.


You must have ben trying to eat a
buzzsaw in motion" said the friend to
the man who hasn't been married long.
Not as bad as that, but nearly" he
responded, as he tenderly rubbed the
scars that adorned his mouth and chin.
Been seeing how far you could slide
on your face?" asked the friend, anx-
iously. mo. Say! For heavens sake
II you will say nothing to anyone I'll
tell you how 1t happened. You know
my wife and | have been married Just
long enough to have most Of the gloss
rubbed of from the honeymoon? In
fact, have arrived at that point where
We take things as matter Of course,
and realize that there are others In this
world as well as ourselves. We'll, the
other morning 1t suddenly dawned
upon me that hadn't kissed her for
q whole week, and my conscience
smots me. Even now, ! told myself,
she may be crying her eyes out, under
NAc 1AnN L wv 1NA ~
longer. l remembered how we had
promised each other during our honey
mon that our married life would be one
long, sweet dream, with the honey
moon as q basis. l chlded myself for
my indifference and determined to
make amends at once well, l looked
my wife up and found her IN her room
doing up her hair before mirror.
Stepping quickly forward, with all the
ardor Of my eourtship days l threw my
arm about her and planted kiss upon
her lips. At least such was my inten.
tion; but instead, ran my mouth into
bristling array OF hslrpins that she
had stuck between her lips. II there
were any doubts before about the
honeymoon being over, there was none
when the lady got her mouth free Of
hsirpins and said what she had to say
on the subject The next time / kiss
my wife am going to reconnoiter the
field in force before attaeking.-Detroit
Free Press.
The statesman., 1905-04-21
The Main Thing.

"A village client of mine had been
trying through me for seven years to
collect claim against the govern.
ment,' said the lawyer, "and at last
the claim was allowed and | received
a check for $4,000
AS the man was poor ! knew that
this would be great windfall for
him and 1t was with considerable ex.
ultation that put the check in my
pocket and started for the house. The
man himself was away somewhere
but as his wife answered my knock
l showed her the check and called
out:
"'At last, Mrs. Davis-at !ast!'
"'What is it?' she asked.
THE claim has been allowed and
here is a check for $4,000
Yes, see, she answered. but
please don't talk quite so loud or you
will wake the baby uni"
The statesman., 1905-04-21
IN PRAISE OF ARsTiNEHcE.
Woman's Nitty Remark Deserved TO
Have Made a Convert.

"The most brilliant woman in
Rome" said cosmopolitan, is the
Marquise de Monsters Merinyille.
She is the daughter Of the late W. S.
Caldwell Of Kentucky.
The Marquise de Monstiers-Merin-
VILE. besides being brilliant, is of a
religious, spiritual turn Of mind. She
hates all manner OF excess. and espe-
cially she hates excess in drinking.
"A young English baronet at
tempted at dinner one evening TO quiz
Nine. de Monsters. .Merinyille a little
on her rigid and PuritanIcal ideas.
Lifting up a glass OF crisp champagne,
he said:
What harm madam. can ensue
from a drink 50 beautiful and clean?'
Much harm, replied the marquise
gravely.
"'Ah. no. said the Englishman.
Wine is good. 1t is tonic. II makes
blood. It makes you fat
81 have seen It make you lean,
said the marquise. and. as the Eng
lishman. puzzled, looked at her with
elevated brows, she smiled, and add.
ed
"on your stick"
The statesman., 1905-04-21
What $50 Long" Means.

you may have wondered, perhaps
how the slang expression, so long,
came to be so generally used" said
Columbia college lecturer the other
day. 1T is usually used in closing
conversation, and is simply form OF
good-by. The Norwegians brought II
to this country. In that land OF the
midnight sun, 'saa laeng' is a common
form of farewell. 1t means the same
as the 'au revoir' of the French
Among the early settlers in America
were many Norwegians. and the
phrase was picked up from them.
They pronounce it with the g soften.
ed and accompany it by a wave of tie
hand
The statesman., 1905-04-21

Win ner brains and her pen to right
the wrongs that are inflicted upon her
"shut-in' countrywomen by their "trus.
tees" who so often defraud them of
their wealth. A great step toward the
success of her efforts has been accom-
plished recently, for she has been ap-
pointed by the Bengal government as
legal adviser to Purdah women in The
administration of her estates.
The statesman., 1905-04-21
Has No Corner.

"The old fallacy that every man in
Boston Is simply saturated with learn.
ing no longer bothers my mind" said
an agent for a Massachusetts firm the
other day. 81 receive each week two
or three dozen letters from the home
Office and they are written by Ave or
six different men-heads Of different
executive departments. Now ! also
get letters from all parts of the West.
but in the Boston letters | find more
bad grammar. more miserable rhetoric
and more misspelled words In ten
letters than | do In 100 written by
Western people OF the same standard
of general Intelligence. Ycu don't
want to think the Hub has a corner
on education"
The statesman., 1905-04-21
STRANGE Charitable seauest.

Many persons who wish to bestow
charity have strange ways OF carrying
out their ideas Some years ago an
Engllshman named James Moss left
$500 TO be invested in land, the rent
OF which was TO provide FIVE gowns,
according 10 the will, "ot a sad blue
color for as many aged and poor
men living in the town.
The statesman., 1905-04-21
lnfaillbly.

There is no place in a woman's
room to put note or a trlnket so she
will see It first. However, put 1t on
her mirror and she will see 1t second.
New Orleans Picavune.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13
GENERAL FRUIT MARKET

BY Associated Press.
SAN FRANCISCO, April 12.-Fruits:
Fancy apples, $500; common, 75c.
Oranges - Navels, S5c@$2.25; seed
lings, $1.00@1.25; Mexican lines, $500.
Lemons - Common California, 75c;
fancy, $3.50.
Tropical fruits-Bananas, 75cQ$2.50;
pineapples, $25OQ4.0O.
Prunes Cleaning Up
BY Associated Press
NEW YORK, April 12.-Evaporated
apples continue quiet. Common, 4@5c;
prime, 5,S5@5.4Oc; choice, 6@61sc; fancy,
Z cents.
Prunes are cleaning up on spot, but
the market shows no improvement.
Quotations range from 2hc to 5%c,
according to grade.
Apricots remain quiet, with buyers
Indifferent. Choice, 10@10hc; extra
choice, 11hc; fancy, 12@15c.
Peaches are unchanged at 10@1OAc
for choice; 10h@10%c for extra choice
and 11h@12c for fancy.
Raisins continue quiet. Loose Mus
catels, 4AQ6Ac; London layers, $1O5
@1.25; seeded raisins, 5a@6%c.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13
Pacific Coast Trade
By Associated Press.

By Associated Press.
SAN FRANCISCO, April 12-Beans:
Pink, $300@3,50; lima. $4.75@4.90; small
white, $S.2OQ3.50; large white $2.5O@
2.70.
Potatoes--Oregon Burbanks, $1,1O@
1.50 river Burbanlks, 75c@$1OO; new
potatoes, 1h@2c.
Onions-Fancy, $490.
Various-Green peas, S@5c; string
beans. 7@12c; egg plant, 15c; green
peppers 20@25c; summer squash, $500
@2.25; asparagus. 40D61Rc; rhubarb, 40
@75c; garlic, SQl0c; Mexican tomatoes,
$2.25@2.50.
Flour-Family extras, $4,S0@505;
bakers extras, $4,7505.00.
Wheat-Shipping, $1.45@1521s; mill
ing. $1.55Q1 66A.
Barley-Feed, $1,21A A@1.2S%; brewing
$1.25@1.30; chevalier, $1.25@1.45,
Oats-Red, $1,4O@1.60; white, $1.42A
al so; black, $1.331a @1,45.
Millstuffs - Middlings, s26.50Q2900;
mixed feed, s2S.O0Q24.OO; rolled barley
Hay-Wheat, $1O.OO@1SOO; wheat and
oat, $9.0OQ12.O0; oat (wild), S6.0OQ9.0O:
oat (tame), SS00@11.00; barley, $4,000
1000; alfalfa, SO0@10.00; clover, $1,000
9.O0 straw. 25@50c.
Receipts-Flour, ZOO; wheat 1900;
barley, 45l; beans. $50; corn, 1925; po-
tatoes. 20vO: onions. 42S; bran $500;
middlings, 200; hay. Sis; straw, q; hops
81; hides, 1872 wine, 2b,SOO.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13
Financial Record

By Associated Press.
WASHINGTON. April 12.-Today's $
treasury statement: Available cash
balance, 1886, 1854, 149 gold, $71, 4OO,962.
LONDON. April 12.-The Bank of
England today announced the issue of
$50, 900 ten-year exchequer bonds at
2% per cent interest.
LONDON, April 12.-Consols 81; sill
yer, 26hd per ounce.
NEW YORK. April 12.-At the close
per cent.
Sterling exchange was weak, closing
steady, with actual business in bank
ers bills at $4.S615@4862O for demand
and at $4.S435@4S440 for 60-day bills.
Posted rates. $4,S5 and $4.S7
Commercial bills. $4S4B.
Bar silver. 56Bc.
Mexican dollars, 43Nc.
Bonds-Governments. steady; rail-
roads, heavy.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13
CALIFORNIA FRUIT IN NEW YORK
Special to The Herald.

YORK carloads and three of
small
but large fruit continues Prime fruit is still setve de demSd s
son fancy $685. choice s Golden Esge $2 Rato Girl $2 Cos
$3.50 Black Beauty
Mohawk 265 1885, S
Cloise SS
Good $272
saO s817 and $685.
nd
S5a$oo regular 1908 IS: small
$260a4
small $685. choice large s5oa8 regular S09$O small $3.50
$1G2 small $2659295
dad 5Q@$ orchard run $1aS2 Bloods; Extra fancy $15g$@
275a2sO &S@26; Mchaes haves $L45@t55
Tangerines (halves I309225 Grapefruit, $.0O0295
$0501.35
brands
registered California the
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13

wheat fakes, per case Of 80 2.lb. cartons ~
wheat flakes. per sack OF 90 lbs .....'' ~
HAY tail per ton)-No. ! grain fancy.
s1a 0o63ie 90; choice, s13 3.O06150O; No. 2, NiOO9
ia. 90; alfalfa, si1 00q12.0 90. 80.
Fruits AND BERRfEs-Bananas. fancy
Port Limor 3, si2fDic; strawberries, s1l0c.
CITRUS FRUITS-Lemons, choice Sl6O@
L. 10 box; fancy, St.7581.s5 box; oranges,
navels, s1.40@1.50 box; extra fancy N.7Oq
Sis0.
beane wax 7bdsc III. beets. 90 a 70c sack.
celery. fancy. bCc doz,n chiles, evaporated,
iso b.. egg plant. 7asc lb.; garlic, lac H.
lettuce. 20c dozen, 81 10 sack, peas, f@Sc lb.
spinach, 30c dozen; turnips, s5c sack.
GRAIN AND FEED tall per 100 lbs metz
Wheat s1.75; wheat, 100.lb sacks. VI So
f1.55: bran, heavy 1870; rolled barley
t140; oil cake meal, 5000; cotton seed meal
cats obtto al ess Ksffir corn II AZ
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13

fancy, si.ss83; Salinas, choice. t1.Bo@t.eoi
Highlands, fancy. S1.S5@L40 Highlenda
choice, 81, 20 a 1870; Nevada Burbanks, fancy
'1iySTEiE SWEET PoTAToEs-Rods s1.sOi whites
oNioNs taIi per 100 ibs)-Yeiiow. Dan.
vers, northern, A75d50o; Australian brown,
IS 10000; Nevada, fancy, Af450O. -
POULTRY (per dozen) old ROSTERS, 800
q 0l50, old hens, $500 a 500; young roosters,
sb.b0G6.b0; broilers So so q 40v; rriers, t6.0
a 100; turkeys, alive, per ID, 23W24c; ducka,
alive $500 "a q. 90; geese. ;i.6Oa1.so.
Live weight, t4al5c a pound.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13
Cereals of the World

BY Associated Press
NEW YORK, April 12.-Wheat:
Spot firm; options unchanged for the
new crop and May 1%c net higher
May, $1.0SA July, 92c; September,
$3.50.
SAN FRANCISCO, April 12.-Wheat:
Steady. May, $1.44% asked; Decem-
ber, $1.29 asked.
Barley-Steady. May, $1.16 asked;
December, SSBc bid.
Corn-Large yellow, $1.27R@1SO.
Bran-$21 ,00@z1.50
LIVERPOOL, April 12.-Close: May
wheat. 6s 71sd July, 6s 7Ad; Septem-
ber, 6s 71ad.
changed. Blue steam, 931as; club, sec.
PORTLAND, April 12.-Wheat: Club,
S5@S6c; blue stem, 91@93c; valley, SSc
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13
Butter. Eaas and Cheese

BY Associaied Press-
SAN FRANCISCO, April 12.-Butter:
Fancy creamery, 1Sc; seconds, 17c;
fancy dairy, lie; seconds, Ice.
Cheese - Eastern, 16@171sc; Young
America, 121aM19c.
Eggs-Ranch, 1S119c; store, 17@171sc.
CHICAGO, April 12.-On the produce
exchange today the butter market was
steady. Creameries, 29@29c; dairies,
22d26c.
Eggs-Steady at mark, 1870.
Cheese-Steady, 13M131ac.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13

rough heavy, $55O@5,6O; light. s545@
5.621s; bulk of sales, $560@5.65.
Sheep-Receipts, 10000; sheep and
lambs steady. Good to choice wethers.
$5.75@6.15 fair to choice mixed, $4.5OQ
sos; western sheep, $5.00@610; native
lambs, $4.5OQ75O; western lambs, S475
Q7S5.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13
Chicago Live Stock
BY Associated Press.

CHICAGO, April 12-Cattle: Receipts
$4,000: steady. Good to prime steers,
$6.15@6.S5; poor to medium. $470G5s5;
stockers and feeders $2.65Q5.00 cows,
So. 75D5.4O: heifers $3,OO@5.75; Gamers,
$1,6Oa3.OO; bulls, s2.50@4T5; calves, $500
@6.70.
Hogs - Receipts today, $4,000; ex-
pected tomorrow, $4,000; strong To Sc
higher, Mixed and butchers. $5.5O@5.SO;
good to choice heavy, $5.65Q5.72Is;
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13
Sugar and Coffee

by Associated Press
NEW YORK. April 12.-sugar; Raw.
firm. Fair refining, 5-16c; centrifugal
96 test, 4 15-l6c; molasses sugar.
Alec. Refined, Arm; crushed, 6.S5c;
powdered, 6.25c: granulated, 6.15c.
Coffee-Spot Rio easy; No. invoice,
75sc; mild, steady; Cordova, 1OQl3c.
Coffee futures closed at decline of
1oq2O points, May, 6,S5q6,4S; July.
ber. 695Q7O5c; March, 71OQ79Oe.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13
Mining Stocks
Los AnaeIes Bank clearinas
London Copper Lower
BY Associated Press.


NEW YORK, April 12.-There was a
further development in the squeeze in
spot tin in the London market where
there was an advance of about G1 ON
spot, while futures were unchanged.
Spot closed at e145 and futures at e1S6
5s. Locally, the market was quiet and
practically nominal. Spot is held at
$50 O95@31.25.
The London copper market was q
shade lower, closing at SCI rs Cd for
spot and at &67 15s for futures. Lo-
cally the market shows no change.
Lake is quoted at $15.S71sQ155O; cleo
trolytic, $15.25Q15S7la; casting, $l4,S71s
Q15.25.
Lead rules steady at $450@4,6O To-
cally and Is unchanged in London
where spot is quoted at &12 les Sd.
Spelter was higher at S2S 12s Cd in
London. Locally the market was dull
and unchanged at $500.
Locally, iron Is quiet.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13
INTERPRETATIONS

Sierra syndicate. Directors; w. R.
Dickinson, A. Hattenbach. William
selbie. James A. Adams. d. X. Dick
inson. Capital stock $4,000; paid In
$780, 200.
California and Nevada Prospecting
company Directors; Hoffman Rich-
ardson. II. T. RudisilI, Erasmus VIII
son. Frank A. Garbutt and S. c. Hall
Capital stock $4,000; paid in $500.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13
Local Produce Prices

The following prices rule In a tobbing waj
in the Los Angeles market;
BUTTER-Produce exchange quotations.
Fancy valley creamery. i5c; fancy coast
creamery, 4Oo fiat; fancy dairy, S5aS7he
EGGS-Ranch, canded, 22c hat no eastern.
CHEESE tall per lb)--Northern, lAWl5ei
Anchor 0arge), local, Ice; Young America,
l7c; handmade lsc eastern singles. ia9
OARS, l4c eastern stiiton. lac; eastern long
horns. 14Ql5c eastern daisies. lt916c;
Swiss domestic. 19o; Swiss imported. 29c.
BEANS (all per 100 sl-Pink No. 1, 1880
as, No Aoo.As5i lima No !, sboo..h5o;
white No |. 27bi Garvanzas. sS.Oo' lintels'
PoTTAToEs Can per 100 lbsl--salInas,
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13
BULLS IN WHEAT PIT
May Option Goes Up and Falls on
False Rumors
BY Associated Press


BY Associated Press
CHICAGO, April t2.--Bullishness was
manifested in the wheat pit from the
start. Initial quotations on May were
UP 5sc to 1Ac, at S1.15A m1.15%. July
started unchanged to a shade higher,
at S7A 6S73sc. Immediately after the
opening, shorts bid up the price of
May to S1,16%. The demand was
brought out by a rumor that a leader
of Wall street clique who | ssaid to
control a long line of May wheat
had arrived in Chicago. An intnation
that the visit of the eastern speculator
might have as an object a further
squeeze in May wheat was the main
cause of the sudden advance in the
price of that option. On the sharp
upturn offerings were liberal and the
price quickly reacted to $1.l5. Firmness
of distant futures was due largely to
higher prices at Liverpool. Cold
weather in the northwest also had a
bullish effect. July reached the high
est point of the day at S7B@SSc. Part
of the gain was lost later because Of
profit taking. The market, however,
closed firm, with July UP a shade, at
S7H@879sc. Final quotations on May
were &c higher, at $1.15h.
Sentiment in the corn pit was in
clined to bullishness. July closed un-
Oats showed considerable strength.
July closed practically unchanged at
80 cents.
Provisions were firm, but the vol
ume of business was exceedingly small.
At the close July pork was unchanged,
lard and ribs each. were up a shade.
Market Ranges
The leading futures ranged as fol-
lows:
Wheat No. 2-May 1.15k; July, S7A
0DS7%c; September, S214c.
Corn. No. 2-May, 485sc; July. 4SAc;
September 4Shc
oats, No. 2-May, S01a@9OAc; July,
30c; September, 29c.
Cash quotations were as follows:
Flour-Steady.
Spring wheat-No. 2, $1.O6@1.15; No.
3. $1.00@1.13; No. 2 (red), $1.15@1.16.
Corn-No. 2,'49c; No. 2 (yellow), 49Ac.
Oats-No 2, 90Mc; No. 8, white, 3O1a
@32%c.
Rye-No. 2, 7S@7S1hc.
Barley-Good feeding, 37@39c; fair to
choice mailing, 43h@49Ac.
Flaxseed-No. /, $1.26; No. north
western, $1.3S.
Provisions-Mess pork. per bbl., $12S0
@12.S5; lard, per 100 lbs, S.15@7171s
short ribs sides Qoose), $7.00@7121s !
short clear sides (boxed), $7.00@712h.
Whisky-Basis of high wines, $1.23.
CloVer-COntract grade $1435M14 40
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13

Hops-Firm. Wool firm hides,
quiet; petroleum, easy.
ST. LOUIS, April 12.-Wool, dull.
Territory and western mediums, 22GD
2Sc; fine medium, 17@1sc; fine, 15Q17c,
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13
Official Stock Sales
Cotton and Wool

BY Associated Press.
NEW YORK. April 12.-Spot cotton
closed dull. Middling uplands, S05c;
middling gulf, $500. Sales, Al bales
Following was the range of quota
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13
CRUDE OIL IS
CUT THREE CENTS
BY Associated Press.

By Associated Press.
PITTSBURG, Pa, April 12.-The
Standard Oil company made another
reduction in the price of all grades OF
crude oil today. A cut of cents was
made in the higher grades and cents
in the lower grades.
Credit Balances
OIL CITY, April 12.-Credit balances,
$780, certificates, no bid.
Northern Oil
BY Associated Press.
SAN FRANCISCO, April 12.-Morn-
ing session of the California Oil ex-
change; sales: $500 shares of Inde-
pendence, Soc; 5000 shares of Occi-
dental, .06c.
Official Stock Sales
On the Los Angeles stock exchange
Yesterday Associated Oil company
bonds were sold as follows: One at
91%: one at 917s; eight at 92 each; also
shares of Associated Oil stock: 1000
shares at 80 cents each; 500 shares at
S29s cents each 1000 shares at 32S
cents each.
1t was announced that the Central
Oil company will pay 1s per cent divi-
dend on April 25, 1905.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13
New York Eonds


NEW YORK, April 12.-The following were
the prices of bonds on the stock exchange to-
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13
Roston Stocks and eonds

By Associated Press.
BOSTON, April 12.-The following were
closing prices for stocks and bonds on the
ato
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13
San Francisco Mining Stocks
BY Associated Press.

SAN FRANCISCO April 12.--The official
closing quotations for mining stocks today
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13

N5aOVIdIVU I
NEW YORK, April 12.-The following
were the official quotations for stocks ana
bends ON the stock exchange today:
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13

In a Pinch, Use ALIENS FoOr-EAsE,
A powder for tired, aching feet. All druggists zka
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13
Receipts of Produce

The produce exchange reports the
following articles received in this mar
ket on the date named:
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13
New York Stocks

BY Associated Press.
Los Angeles herald., 1905-04-13

BY Associated Press
NEW YORK, April 12.-The govern
ing committee of the stock exchange
today voted to suspend operations on
Good Friday.
The Rich Hill tribune., 1905-05-25
wanted--A COuapaniOn.

"A lady in delicate health
wishes 10 meet with useful
companion. She must be do
mestic, musical, an early riser,
amiable, Of good appearance, and
have some experience in nursing.
A total abstainer preferred.
Comfortable home. No salary. F"
A few days afterward the ad-
vertiser received by express a
basket labelled: This side up
with care perishable On
opening it she found a tabby cat,
with a letter tied to its tail. II
ran thus:
"Madam-In response to your
advertisement, / am happy to fur
nish you with a very useful com
panion which you will find exact
ly suited TO your requirements.
! She is domestic, q good vocalist,
an early riser, possesses an am
liable disposition and is consider
ed handsome. She has had a
great experience as a nurse, hav-
ling brought up a large family.
/ need scarcely add that she is a
total abstainer. AS salary is nc
lobject to her she viii serve you
faithfully in return for a cOmfor-
table home. Youths Compan,
ion.
The Rich Hill tribune., 1905-05-25
A Rich Hill Boy Hurt

A young man giving the name
Of Thos. Lipe, and hailing from
four miles east of Rich Hill, Mo-,
was seriously injured last Wed
nesday night while attempting to
steal ride on a freight train.
He boarded train in the yards
and when il neared the iron
bridge that crosses Big Greek he
was hanging on the side Of box
car 10 avoid the brakeman seeing
him, and the iron railing on the
bridge struck him and he fell TO
the bottom of the creek. He was
able, however, TO walk 10 town,
where the services of Drs. Bel
cher and Todd were secured and
injured man was taken to the
Clifton House where his wounds
were dressed. He had an ugly
cash s inches long on his left leg
and was otherwise bruised about
the body, but az last accounts
was doing well and he hopes to
be able to 60 TO his home in Rich
Hill in a few days. Pleasant Hill
Local.
The Rich Hill tribune., 1905-05-25

John Lawson, in Summit town.
ship, has half mile of good road
along his farm. He plows out
the bitches ON the sides TO give
the water chance TO drain on
and drags il often after each
heavy rain. But when you find
one man who win drag the roads
you will find IL who won't.
There are men who would not
nh mud hole in front Of their
doors II there was enough crack.
ed rock 20 yards away to pike
hades a mile.
About the two unluckiest pen.
eli pushers we know of are edi.
tors Allen and wiseman. They
monkey around and wait until
the band wagon has gone and
then they walk to the picnic and
kick because the pie is an gone, -
silas Skinner, In bates County
Democrat