davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

night / slept in a real bed with sheets
and pillows-the first spasm Of downy
ease that had soothed my youthful
frame in more than two months. AT
that I didn't sleep well. It was too
easy. I missed the rumble of carriage
wheels on the barn floor and the PEN
sive snorts Of the red stallion who
shared my apartment at the stable.
Then I worried some about the new
job on which I would debut in the
morning at the magnificent stipend of
two bucks per day. All cared for was
to hold It down long enough to earn
getaway stake and fade forever from
the Texas landscape.
While the job lasted I was q great
success at making brake shoes for
freight cars At the expiration of a
week malarial fever hit me and 1 took
the count. The shop was located on
stagnant lagoon, and one week was SUI
ficient to fill me up with germs. spent
the next week in my new bed, and got
up dizzy and wobbly and busted. My
prospects made me think OF the fellow
who said il he owned Texas and hell he
would rent Texas and live in the other
place Too sick to work and with my
name stricken from Dun's and Brad
streets, the hotel man said the North
was the place for people with fever and
no money. I agreed with him. and he
accepted my trunk and overcoat as the
first move on a start in the right direc-
ton. With the board money thus
saved, by once more divorcing my
goods and chattels i bought a cheap
valise and a cut-rate ticket to Calves
ton.
NV scheme was to make New York
by water, and a steamer from that port
was due at Galveston the day / blew
in. She was anchored outside the bar
waiting on the tide when / reached the
wharf with my little gripsack, one chill
and 80 cents in ready money. The fare
was $50, but that small discrepancy
didn't jar me. wore my best clothes,
a new haircut and a silk cap. ! had
made one voyage across the gulf as
cabin boy and knew the ropes. If the
steamer had a vacant berth, 1t was me
to New York in style.
When the big black hull swung in
to her slip / met the end OF the gang
plank coming ashore. There might be
other boys desirous OF side-stepp1ng
Texas and / was taking no chances.
But there was no need to hurry. The
steward had all the cabin boys he
wanted, and he fired men ashore again
almost as soon as the gangplank
made connection. That was my finish,
/ thought, as I sat on a mooring pile
and gazed hopelessly at the steamer.
bankrupt, SICK anu irIcnQlcSS, ucdlH
would find me In Texas. In a grand
burst of mental agony I beheld my
bones bleaching In an unkempt alley
behind some livery stable, and my folks
at Mudville, Ill.,, awaiting tidings from
the absent one. I even tried to sing.
"Oh, Where is My Wandering Boy?"
but choked on the plaintive melody.
It was indeed doleful picture, with
but one ray of comfort In case lived
and escaped to the North I would con-
secrate my life to warning foolish
boys away from the Lone Star State.
NY own Texas experience. If related
on the lecture platform with me star
ring as the Horrible Example, or pub
lished in tract form, might save many
a boy the hardship and misery had
undergone. While I still sizzled with
these noble thoughts bullet-headed
boy in blue cap and short alpaca
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

II they lived to be 900; women who
are wholly selfish, opinionated and in
considerate, who always fear to COM
ply with request lest 1t please hus-
band too much-who, in fact, make 1T
a rule, and boast OF It meanwhile, that
they do not believe in giving In" to
man lest he expect 1t always. There
can be no happiness in married life un-
less 1t be through a mutual giving
in," and nothing so completely con-
duces to the happiness as a desire of
each to comply with the wishes Of the
other. There are many people, both
men and women. Of extremely sensitive
organizations, who are Jared and
made unhappy by little things, even
such trifles as the prevalence Of q GER
tain color, the mottled design Of a wall
paper, picture that they cannot even
look at with an unexplainable, grew
some feeling. and when antipathies Of
this kind are pronounced the object
should be removed.
Examples as illustrations are per-
haps somewhat trite, and yet there can
be no better way Of pointing a moral.
Divorces are often the elimination of
the stubborn adherence to a notion that
had better be abandoned and the
wishes of the one opposing respected.
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

N LII things come to him who
waits and saves his coupons
and his pawn tickets, If any.
During a short-ration cam
paign in Texas I wore pinned
in my scanty attire two pale green
slips. These were coupons issued by
a pawnbroker at New Orleans. They
represented one silver watch and my
faithful 81 bark trunk filled with fair
to middling raiment. The game was
for me to keep on guessing until
struck job strong enough to amass
SIP In one vast lump. Thereupon the
pawnbrcker would remit my chattels
on receipt Of the tickets and money.
The contest lasted about six weeks.
BY sticking to the job in a Houston
livery stable, which paid IS per week
and food, but no sleep to speak of.
squeezed 81 from a hard. unyielding
world and sent for the watch. 1 hung
1t on myself for couple of days and
felt tolerably good in possession. But
as I was not out for any records re-
quiring accurate time. and as my
working clothes had about gone the
limit, found another berth for the
watch in a Houston pawnshop and
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15
@5fAha ron and Off the Breed Wagon
TS Herd Tales
<nkn==J ahfAgE4 By Charles Dryden

to oblige the sex. 1t will take place at
10 o'clock tomorrow morning"
That was the third day out from
Galveston, and, sure enough, at 10
next morning the bold skipper and
four deck hands surrounded the bad
man where he sat doing with his
heels hung up on the camp stool. The
captain stood directly In front Of Mr..
Evans, wearing his hands in the side
pockets Of a large pea Jacket. At a
signal from the skipper the four deck
hands yanked off the brogans and set
In to scour the ankles. Mr.. Evans
never moved. The few spots on his
face bare of fuzzy whiskers turned a
dull white, then red. beneath the
shadow Of his dropping sombrero.
To appear wholly at ease the bad man
ground out feeble snore which de-
ceived no one. He slept throughout
the operation while the suffrage ladies
looked on in silent appreciation: and
when the deck hands had finished.
the ankles of Mr.. Evans resembled
peeled beets.
The captain and his accomplices
withdrew. Mr.. Evans slept on. When
out of sight and earshot the captain
removed his hands from his coat
the other a cigar, which he lighted
and went about his business. The
scrubbing incident was closed. That
certainly was a new way to tame a
bad citizen. Mr.. Evans was heard of
no more on that voyage. The posses
sion of clean feet broke his proud
spirit and he lurked in obscure cor
ners-sober, sullen, morose and un-
happy.
1 have withheld the name of the
ship and her captain, both of whom
are still in commission, lest the scrub
bing incident should hurt the traffic in
charcoal burners, retired and other
wise. The skipper exceeded his au-
thority somewhat, but Mr.. Evans was
new to the sea and didn't know it He
was awed
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

NAKE care OF the little things In
matrimony and greater ones VIII
take care Of themselves.
When a great crisis overtakes
a married couple they generally brace
themselves and with shoulders to tho
wheel prepare to receive the shock ana
bear ii as best they may. but In the
little things Of Life they are not 80 apt
to bear with one another in the same
united spirit
There Is more philosophy In bearing
with trtfies. because there is no reac-
ton to which. like q wad OF falling
paper, there Is no rebound. In the
greater trials of life one may be para
lived by the suddenness OF the shock.
but @ mercifu digpensation often
brings them out better, nobler. strong
er, through having passed through the
ordeal Financial ruin, q horrible grief.
or overwhelming disgrace falling over
the life of either husband or wife. has
bean known to reunits the pair after
years of estrangement. while some
trivial episode win perhaps part them
agatn-forever.
There are many women who would
never be anything but spoiled children
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

and wins al de savings from my SOL
wants when he visits em-but dis il q
good cocktail"
Madame IL pleased 10 be amiable, -
says Duchess. But II il because Of
madame's good health. Surely never
seen madame looking In such good
healt before. Madame's good healt
makes her Of such good nature dat she
will not care to hear any of dc gossip
! have to tell. because II is ali for to
laugh. and madame does not need any
thing to make her laugh-except her
own good healt and spirits and nature. /"
II you mean dat you have any of
your delightful scandal for me, Hor-
tense. let me have II quick, for never
known how wicked all my frens are un-
til I've heard your yearly budget Of
deir SINS
IF madame win have de poor little
budget Of news dat Hortense has kept
FOR her benefit, den will oblige her"
says Hortense. But we do not have
tea until $780, and to wait for tea would
exhaust madame. so I have had cook
put little bird on de fire for madame,
and my husband will bring a cold bot
tie Of de wine Msieu Paul best likes,
and as madame refreshes herself wit a
moutful and bite Hortense will tell
her de little news she has saved for
heA"
Dat was my signal to get busy, and
soon has de hot bold and de cold bot
In Old Lady's room, and she pecks at
it until de bot was dry and only de
bones Of de bold was left to tell de
tale; and den Duchess she tells her de
record OF some ladies and gents dat
would surprise DER parsons to hear.
Old Lady laughs and chuckles till she
near falls in a At, and by de time
Duchess has finished her off wit glass
of sweet booze and give her cigarette
de Old Lady she says. "Hortense, you
are wicked and witty French goil,
and don't believe void you have
said; but you do amuse me so dat If
you will find me purse I'll see If dere is
bill in it for you. I'm paying all sorts
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

Wow! Tings happened fast. At dat
void Of command bote Of EN- let's go
Of de vine and slips down on de run
for a fact dey tumbles-and one of 'em
lights straddle OF Whiskers' neck and
de odder straddle Of Willy Widdy's.
Dey was bote yelling like pirates for
fair az dey landed, but detr yells was
silence alongside Of de mems size yells
dat Whiskers and WILDLY trun out as
dey feels demselves saddled wit
squirming something's dat was waving
guns and swords. De grownups duck
ed and pitched de kids and den. seeing
mostly knives and guns. de grownups
Teves!" dey yells and de kids, seeing
dat dey had fell on folks instead of
bushes, lights off for de shrubbery. ]
gives EN- a fair start and runs up and
asks Whiskers what was doin'.
'Doing?" he sputters. I've been as
saulted by murderous tieves and CUT
throat rascals I surprised trying to get
into de house. Get de stable men!
Telephone for de police. Get a gun!"
he says.
(Which way did dey run7' says I.
Whiskers says for me to get help
foist, but I says / feared no foe and
/ chases de kiddies into de bush. When
I catches 'em I warm meself wit lit
tie free hand spanking dat did bote OF
'em some good, den says dat I'd get
de folks away from de front OF de
house and give de kids chance to
climb back de way dey had come down.
and for 'em to do it or get anodder
kind of spanking.
Den sets up a holler like was
having a rough house wit sixteen
kinds of murderers and make bluff
like was driving 'em all away. De
folks comes to me rescue while de kid
dies makes sneak to de front and
when dey gets to deir room dey sig
nails me.
Whiskers tipped me good for being
so brave and so did Wildly. but Miss
Fannie she got onto de game. When
she went up to see de kiddies have deir
supper neider Of 'em could sit down to
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

Of stupid people around me who never
amuse and always beg. 30 why
shouldn't tip you who never beg and
always amusei"
wouldn't you wonder dat goil dat
can unlcosen from a party as hard
wouldn't you wonder dat q goil who
can win off such q party wouldn't let
me collect and keep what I can from
de gentsI Nay. nayi
Let me tell you. on de level nobody
but dose dat are floating in long green
can afford to come to house parties.
It's cheaper to give EN- dan to go to
en-. OATS a fact. From de stable
boy to de chef, every one Is tipped. De
de station, de man on de box who
hands EN- In and out Of de traps, de
house footman dat carries deir wraps
up to der rooms, de housemaids dat
fetcies deir tea or coffee In de morn
ings. de butler and second man dat
solves, Duchess, of course, who's busy
all over de lot, and Newell I'm al
ways on hand-de cook, even de stable
hands and de outside man who shovels
de snow away from de carriage block
every mug OF us has to be tipped
and tipped again, till wonder where
de guests gets de long green dey parts
wit when dey Is having free board and
lodging at q house party. And de
men!-dey has boxes OF flowers and
candy come down from town every
day, dey has card and billiard losses
to make good. and--well. says. what
tell And dey pays all dis for what
I gets wit wages. / think we soivants
has de soft end of de game.
But was going to tell you about de
time de kiddies had, Little Fannie and
my kid. Little Chimmie is still to our
house, for Little Fannie she sets up
such holler when said would send
Kiddie to me modder for de New
Year dat we had to keep him. Miss
Fannie tells 'em not to get gay on de
ground floor, what de florist and deco
rator was woiking on for de day be-
fore de party. SO dey keeps to Little
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

Fannie's play room pretty much. Dey
was 80 quiet dere for so long dat /
goes up to see what were dey doing dat
dey shouldn't Well, 1t was . soicusl
Over deir own close dey had on some
dinty little dresses Little Fannie had
for a fancy dress party when she was
about as high as wine cooler. De
one she had on was blue and Kiddie's
was pink, and dey was so short dat
dey stuck out from DER waists like
lamp shades. Dey had ribbons Of de
same colors, and was driving rocking
chairs with 'em. so as no harm was
doing told 'em to stay where dey was
and be good. But dey says dey would
have to go out for some fresh air. so
for de decorators was late and cross
and wouldn't be helped any by having
de kids running over 'em. Den I for
got 'em. wish I hadn't.
Whiskers and Willy Wildly was go
ing out for ride before tea and was
standing in front of de house waiting
for de cart to be fetched up. / guess
dey was talking gayly-gayly and on de
quiet. steps out In front to see what
kept de cart, when / hears a noise dat
makes me look up to de veranda: 1t
was getting dark. but sees de two
kiddies climbing over de veranda rail
and start to make de ground by de
wistaria vine route. AS near as /
could make out dey was bote In deir
soicus dresses and was playing bur-
glar, for dey wasn't making no noise.
and was doing deir stunt on de sneak,
like a ting is done on de stage when
de band plays shiver music. / didn't
dare to make holler for fear of trun-
ming fright into 'em dat would make
'em drop and, anyway, / didn't want
Uyhsrtrorc ~ know nan saw dax If
wasn't burglars dey was playing, but
pirates. Dey was loaded down wit
wood guns and tin swords and had
pirate masks on. began to fear some-
thing would happen. Just den Kiddie
let's out a most dreadful yell and
says: "Grappling hooks and board EN-!
Deaf to de craven crew!"
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

Evans had been reducing dense forests
to charcoal at % cents per barrel. and
leaving a trail OF unmarked graves
among the stumps. What was in the
graves Mr.. Evans did not say, yet the
way he spoke of them made our blood
run cold. Between the bad men and my
mysterious prison record the steward
ess yielded to spells bordering on the
hysterical.
The bad man from the charcoal re-
gions certainly looked bad, but not in
the sense he wished to inspire the pub
lie. He wore a slouch hat. collarless
flannel shirt and suit Of rust-colored
jeans. His brogan shoe tops and trou-
ser legs lacked several inches OF meet
ing, and the gaps exposed a pair or
sockless ankles that looked like two
sticks Of charcoal. The bad man car
ried his trade mark. all right. Dressed
UP and drunk, Mr.. Evans wandered
about the ship day and night, inquir-
ing in a soft Southern dialect II any
one desired to be killed. We had a
score or so of female suffragists-fat
and lean ladies with aggressive chins,
heavy brows and funny bonnets-on the
way to a convention at New York. The
bad man didn't offer to kill any Of the
ladies. He was polite and asked them
to drink with him, and promised to ex-
pose the innermost secrets Of the char
coal burning business.
When not thirsting for gore Mr..
Evans doZed in steamer chair on the
forward deck, resting his heels on a
camp stool. This attitude of extreme
nonchalance widened the gap between
trouser legs and brogans and placed
the charcoal ankles prominently before
the public. No one minded this exhibit
but the female suffragists. and they
he oor fot N @
a shame, they said, for man to invade
polite society with his ankles in that
condition.
"All right, ladies'" said the captain,
who was a gallant gentleman. I'll
have 'em scrubbed for you. Anything
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

Copyrighx, 1895, BY Inward W. Townsend
ERE was q house party ND to
our place on de Sound for to sec
de OLD Year out and give de glad
- hand to de New Year. It's q
glad hand I holds out to do Kid
year, for It's dc best time for tips dat
happens. As for Duchess. shs makes
30 much long green out Of our New
Years house parties she begtns 10 talk
about Dc restaurant We are te have
when we are rich enough. She being q
form goil wonder how she ever loined
to jolly de way she does in American
langwudge. Ders II one old lady dat
always comes to our house parties, she
being q kind Of cousin to Whiskers,
and she has more money dan bank,
and knows how not to part wit 1t better
dan q pawnshop. Nobody cant get
next to her jean pocket but Duchess.
and I seen how she does 1t.
1 hears Duchess and de old lady when
dey meets in the old lady's room. DER
song and dance was like dis:
sWell, Hortense," says Old Lady,
Hortense being de real name Of Ouch
ess, We'll, suppose you expect to get
. tip out of me, but you'll be disap-
pointed dis time. Money only earns
2 per cent desc days, IL a body keeps to
safe investments, and I'm SO poor dat
you could tip me better dan could tip
YOU"
Madam will have her joke" says
Duchess, as soft as silk. IT am always
so pleased to see Madam dat it matters
not wedder Madam remembers me or
not. / am delighted to see dat Madam
is looking so young dis year; each New
Year Madam looks younger dan de one
before. 1t was a chill ride coming up
from de station, and have took de lib
erty of bringing Madam little cocktail
of de kind dat my husband makes so
wel''
Your husband, eh!' sncrts Old
Lady, but she fastens on to de drink
and makes hole in de glass your
husband is mischievous young man,
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

boy who succeeded me In the task OF
swinging Texas around by the tail. !
trust he potted a few wicked cow
boys and rescued some imperiled
maidens from the lair of the robber
chieftain. Texas is full of just such
jobs waiting for intrepid boys to come
down from the North and straighten
things out. I've done my share toward
the improving and uplifting of that
benighted commonwealth, and If ever
I return to Texas it will be on a writ
OF habeas corpus.
ALI the cabin crew, with the excep-
ton Of a fat stewardess. built like a
Bartlett, treated me kindly. That good
lady had little to do but fret about me,
though I didn't suspect her secret at
the time. My pallor, due to sickness.
and closely cropped hair interested the
stewardess in my past She was forever
dragging reform schools and penitenti-
aries into the talk when l was around,
and then watching keenly to see me
blush or display other symptoms Of
guilt. Beyond a doubt she took me for
ten UP and lock her stateroom door on
seeing me near 1t, and had a habit of
slapping her skirt pocket and feeling to
see If her watch had departed. Not un-
til I had been around the world some
more did the conduct of the stewardess
smite me, and then I ,blushed. Since
then I've had little use for steward
esses, and read with interest newspa-
per accounts of them falling overheard
in midocean.
/ always wore my hair chopped close
in those days in a style called Shin
gled." and it looked pretty good. Now
I would look even better with the top
of my head shingled, weather boarded
or tar-roofed. And there are others.
We carried but one male cabin pas
senger, and he was whole shipload Of
people, according to his tell. Mr.. Evans
was a retired charcoal burner and a
bad man from the piney woods of
Texas. For twenty years, he said. Mr..
The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15
,, WI, ASy SS t RYEfs Rs MARH, M IP }urs F~sx I

de table. She toliied 'sna O little TIL
she found out why dey wanted to eat
standing. ! was sorry she found 'em
out, but It was to my good after ALL
for she tipped me too.
Now what's boddering me 10: Did
Miss Fannie tip me for not giving de
kids away to Whiskers. or for what I
give EN- wit do palm Of me hand7 You
never oan tell, for women Is queer.
Sure!
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1905-05-03
Some New Testimony.

The forenoon brought out two new
bits of testimony for the state, not
secured at the New Ulm trial One was
Weisenborn's testimony that he saw the
pencil lying near DR.. Gebhard's body
when he entered the room. AT the New
Ulm trial he said that he did not see
it. '.-...
The other and more important deyel-
opment was the conversation of Chief
Klaus with Miss Ida Koch, sister of the
defendant, in which he quoted her as
saying to him in Dr. Koch's presence
that the handkerchief found at DR.. Geb-
hard's office was her brothers. and that
sne marked it. Chief Klause did not tell
this at the New Ulm trial. He saws
that he did not get chance to tell it
then. He explains Weisenborn's testi-
mony regarding the pencil at New Ulm
by saying that he. was ratified"