The Montgomery advertiser., 1905-06-18
A GOOD WORD FOR
 SECOND MARRIAGES
NO DIsREsPECT IMPLIED IN TAX
 ING SECOND PARTNER.
Outsiders Often Express Impersona Jealonsy--The Second Wife Reaps Fruit of Self
 Denial of First.
BY MARGARET E. sANGsTER.

BY MARGARET E. sANGSTER.
 tcopyright. 1905. by Joseph B. Bowles.)
 In a little hamlet by the sea, never mind where. there dweiis a family to the members of which exceptional good fortune has been granted. Several years ago the father and mother ceie- brated their golden wedding, surround ed by their children and grandcnli- dren, an unbroken circle. No deatn had invaded their ranks. There was no vacant chair at any table. Sucn continuity of blessing is exceptional and delightful, bNt most families un- dergo loss and change, and not all who love one another are privileged to i've together to the very end of their days
 When husband or wife is taken away there is an upheaval in the home, as II , an earthquake or a cyclone had swept the house from its foundation. The survivor feels at first as if the world had come to an end. It does not seem as though ever again there can be joy and g1adness in the universe, or any chance of going on. Things have col lapsed for the hour.
 Outsiders are very apt to gauge the fidelity to an ideal of man or woman by the length of time that passes be- fore there is an effort to fill the empty place. It is, however, only in accord ance with law of nature that there shall be, after a time, cessation of grief and the effort to go on again un- der new conditions, and with a new partner.
 Nature always hastens to repair her waste places. Flowers spring up and bloom in the track that has been swept by fire. The greenest spots are those where battles have been fought.
 No grief should last forever. It im- plies not the slightest disrespect, hard ly forgetfulness of the past, in begin ming again a new chapter of life. In new circumstances, with some one else.
 In most cases it is inevitable that a desolate heart should snatch at some probability of renewed comfort and that there should be once again the enjoyment of home life which Is incom- plete to the widowed.
 It is the outsider who has nothing to do with it who generally feels and expresses most jealousy at second marriage of neighbor or friend. It happens, too. that often there is appar- ently good cause for this impersonal jealousy. For instance, husband wno was sufficiently devoted to a first wife. yet who made no fuss about her, who surrounded her with few delicate at- tentions, and took for granted all the sacrifices she made, is often most gall 1dnI anu IONeF-like III HIS atLltuQe tO his second wife. She comes to him af- ter the first difficult strife of youth, to acquire a competence, Is over. In way, she inherits the self-denial and sacrifice of her predecessor. The wife of the mans youth did her own work, saved and skimped, had few outings, and seldom g. long holiday. A hand some gown was perhaps an event to her. She was satisfied with few lux ha1rfnar hnRhQ n to get a firm foothold, and make his money. By and by, 1t may be. worn out by incessant labor, she slipped away into the grave.
 The woman who, after a decent in- terval of mourning, has taken her place Is younger, prettier and much less in- clined to strenuous domesticity than she WAS. She wears dainty gowns and hats, and has plenty of changes In her wardrobe. Her stepehildren do not weigh heavily on her hands, the older ones being promptly sent to school, and the younger ones put under the care of a nurse or governess. This wife has leisure, retains her good looks. is her husbands comrade and com panion everywhere, and has the joy always prized by a woman of knowing that he is proud of her. Not fnfre- auently the lot of a second wife is far more enviable and desirable than that of her who was wooed and won in the freshness of early girlhood.
 @N
 There is room in the same breast for faithful love as we all know. in more than one direction. We love our friends. our parents our children, and the vari- ous affections do not crowd or jostle or quarrel with one another. We love people for different reasons. and along different lines. Thus, a second mar riage may be equally as congenial and equally as beneficial in It's results to both parties as the first. if only it be not a marriage of convenience. When people marry for any lower reason than mutual esteem. and a wish to help one another on the road of life. they are likely to arrive at failure and disap- pointment They have dared to lay pro- fane hands on the ak of God.
 If a woman marry her second bus hand because he has wealth and can give her opportunities for herself or for the children of her own first mar riage, that otherwise she cannot com pass, she is taking a tremendous risk. Of one such marriage I think, where the gallantry of the lover fell away like a husk the day after the wedding, and the wife found herself united in- deed to a millionaire, but as well to a sordfd miser. From the ample house to which he took her the hired help was sent away, and she was bluntly told that he married her that he might save money.
 When a man looking about him for a second wife decides that this woman or that will make him a good house. keeper. that she will do his mending and preside well at his table, and so addresses her, emitting all thought of vsonaance he Is not likely to give or re- ceive much happiness. Such union is hopeless in the higher sense, Married happiness must have love for its foun- dation stone .All satisfying pleasure by the hearth is kindled by the breath of true love This is as true in a sec ond or third marriage as in the first.
 We must admit that people some times find their true mates later rather than earlier in life. We are not the same people at 40 that we were at 20. nor at 50 that we were at 35. Our characters have broadened. We have