The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1905-06-10
E--7I- q. -. N 4
Humorous

luah y the door, ma, who says he
wants to "see the boss of the house"
a-rell your mother. Ma calling
IdoWn-stairsl-Tell Bridget.
Fashionable-First Lady-rm tax.
Ing four kinds Of medicine. How many
are you taking? Second Lady-oh,.
medicines don't count Operations are
all the go now. I've had three.
How 1t Is Done.-''Josiah," said
Mrs. Chugwater, when one Of the big
baftleships runs aground, how do they
get 1t OFT" "They pull it Off with
tug of war;" answered Mr.. Chug-
water 81
When asked by her teacher to de.
scribe the backbone, Norborne school
girl said: 1.-THE backbone is something
that holds up the head and ribs and
Keeps one from having legs clear up
to the neck."-Ex.
The Swallows" Home.-School
Teacher-What little boy can tell me
where the home Of the swallow is?
bobby-1 kin. School Teacher-Well
Bobby? Bobby-The home Of the
swallow Is the stummick.
Twins.-"Quite an interesting thing
happened at Nupop's house last night"
There We're two interesting things"
Il only heard of one; the arrival Of
son and heir. What was the 9th.
er" 'The arrival Of another son and
heir"
Trying to Explain.-"Josiar," said
Mrs. Corntossel, what Is these negli-
Jay shirts l see advertised In the bar
gain salesT' "Well, they amt quite SO
prim an scratchy as a billed shirt
that is to say, regular hard-b'iled
shirt l reckon a neglitay is what you
might call soft-b'iled shirt
Good 1nvention?-Inventor-rve hit
q money-making thing at last 1t is
church contribution box. Friend
What good is that? Inventor-It's q
triumph. The coins fall through slots
OF different sizes, and halves, quarters
and dimes land on velvet, but the
nickels and pennies drop on Chinese
gong.
Lamb Renewed.-The proprietor of
a German menagerie keeps Gagged to,
gether a lion, tiger, a wolf, and q
lamb, which he labels 1.-The Happy
Family" When asked confidentially,
how long these animals had lived to.
gether. he answered: "Ten months; but
the lamb has had to be renewed occa
sionally."
Beats Them All-Singleton-Dr
Pellet is certainly the most absent
minded man ever saw. Wederly-Is
that so? Singleton-Yes; he was mar
ried last week, and during the cere
mony, when he should have placed 8
ring on the brides finger, he actually
felt her pulse and asked her to put ou
her tongue.
1mperialism.-It happened at 6
meeting of club women, who were set
ting various complicated information
al, national and civic affairs with thet
usual facility. do you believe i'll i'm
perialism" asked the speaker Mrs
Srongmind rose instantly. In tht
family" she said, II do" The ap
plause was deafening.
Profitable Tree.-"No, sir" said DR.
Mixture, Il would not have that tree
cut down for any money" "But yo'
never get any fruit from It," argued
Mr.. Brown; "the boys steal all the ap
pies from it before they are half ripe
That's just it," replied the doctor
with a benignant smile, that trei
brings me in a clear $1,000 every
year."
Reciprocity.-"These shoes, DOCTOR
said the cobbler, after a brief exami
ma ton, "ain't worth mending." Then
of course" said the doctor, turnin;
away, 81 don't want anything done t.
them" But l charge you fifty cent
Just the same" What for " well
sir, you charged me five dollars tn
other day for telling me there WASH
anything the matter with me-"
Sad-looklng Mani see you have
sign out, Maker Of Women's Habits.
DO you mean it? Ladies' Tailor-Cer
tainly / do. Sad-looking Man-Wel
since my wife's been going to the clu|
she's lost all the good ones she had
and wish you'd make her complet
new set regardless Of expense. An
please include the habit Of staying q
home once in a while and mendin
my clothes.
Always a Citizen.-He was YER
fond Of travelling, and took great de
light in lionIzing different cities whic
we visited; but in one respect he wa
stanch John Bull-no power o
earth could persuade him that whe
, he resided in Florence, for example
he could possibly be called foreigner
, mo, ma'am," he used to say, th
, Italians are foreigners, but l am a
EnglishmanP
: Uncle Gabe addressing the crowC
No, sub, gentlemen! The men j
nv family are men. Don't none o
EN- write poetry as know of. Youn
, Gentleman Poet-What Is your ob1e'
ton to men who write poetry, may
| l4nnnire? Uncle Gabe surveying I'll