The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-11

-Cn1cAGS News.
HUMOR OF THE DAY
Teacher Johnny. you may give me
| Jofnny-It's When a teller says he loves
his MISUNDERSTANDING Leader.
Footpad lin a rasping voice)-Keep still.
now: all want is your money
Summer Boarder-Ohs that's all right
thought, perhaps. you wanted this ham
mock Puck.
''why does Mr.. Grumpse always buy
open work socks p
He says that having. been a. bachelor
the only ones in which he feels natural
Cleveland Leader.
Eyes, weighed myself out at the stock
yards, How Hoy much do you s'pose? Give
.'On the hoof or dressed ?"-cleveIand
First CannibaI-How'd it happen that the
shipwrecked dude was scratched OF the
Second Cannibal-We found at the last
minute that he was cigarette fiend.--
Mrs. Housekeep-I don't believe you ever
went to work.
"
the time. But I'm SIGH a strenuous Teller
dat every time I start ter go ter work
go clean past it.-Philadelphia Press.
Katherine-was that big temperance
meeting last week the means of making
KidderNOh. YES. over a 100 men. who
never drank in their lives, took the pledge.
-Pittslurg Dispatch.
Judge-You are sentenced to 20 years in
state prison, Have you anything to say?
Prisoner-Yes, your honor. VIII you
please send word to my wife not to wait
dinner for me?-Fliegende Blaetter.
'Mr Dustin stax is inclined to make an
You Wouldn't think so.' said the gov
asaea s eR sRG onAs STAR 'n'
rs it really true that your ancestors
were once poor?" asked the inquisitive
person.
ly millionaire. '-Philadelphia Ledger.
is wonderful how many labor saving de-
vices there are nowadays:
of some fellow marrying an heiress.-
Brooklyn Life.
Old Husband-Will you love me as long
Young Wife-Tn loee you as long as
Leader. '''''1
Nordy-Even optimism may be made
Butfs-As to how?
Nordy-Who wants to hear a woman
the Thermometer standing at 81 in the
shade?-Louisville Courier-JournaI.
-Johnny-what is the vermiform appen-
Paine walking delegate-doesn't doany
work itself, but orders the strike.-New
York Sun.
The CannibaI King-Take that mission
Chef-What's the trouble, sire?
The CannibaI King-He's tainted.-New
Impecunious Friend Ito business MANI
What t. with , big = business IKE lo1, this you
port this to Bradstreet's. -Meggehdorfer
Blatter.
"Ah; my poor man said the. prison Wis
itor, and how did you get here?"
Il was drove to it. ma am replied the
convict
"Yes'm: the van brung me"-Phiiadel-
| phia Ledger.
Father-Why don't you work, my son?
If you only knew how much happiness
work gives you would begin at once.
| Son-Father, am striving to lead life
part Do not tempt me.-st Louis Globe
Democrat.
Does that man pay you much for being
his caddie?" asked the boy.
NO" answered the other. He only
caddie, but he gives me 81 for not telling
what he says when he misses the ball.
Washington Star.
YOUNG. Lot sannon is foxy chap"
''Uh-huh. His father wanted him to be
a doctor, but he took law course in COL
lege, because he had a bunch that he'd
have to contest the old mans will some
day."-Clevelaad Leader.
''You don't seem to care much for the
girls at this summer resort"
NO"
what became of that girl you were
flirting with last SUMMER"
You mean the girl 1 thought ] was
flirting with. She married me.''-CIeve-
land Leader.
sir; your, dog tried to bite me. He
mo, he's just near sighted. '-cieveland
Plain Dealer.
Fuddy-But of course, like everybody
else, you are not fond of money for it,
self.
Duddy-Oh, no: I am fond of it for my
self.-Boston Transcript.
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
IFrom the Philadelphia Record.
The poor excuses we have always
with US.
The fellows who are all wind seldom