Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1905-05-11

the day We went for the ride. The liv-
eryman gave US two bob-tailed nags. a
big one for dad and small one for me,
but they didn't have any army saddle for
dad, and he had to ride on one Of these
little English saddles. such as Jockeys
ride races on. and dad is so big where
he sits on a saddle that you couldn't see
the saddle. and guess they gave dad
q hurdle jumper. because when we got
right amongst the riders, men and wom-
en-. his horse began to act up. and some
one yelled. "Tally-ho." and that 10
something about fox hunting. not
coach. and the horse jumped fence and
dad rolled on over fhe bowsprit and went
into ditch OF dirty water, and the horse
went of across field. and the policemen
fished dad out OF the ditch. and run him
through clothes wringer or something,
and got him dried out, and sent him TO
the hotel In an express wagon, and rode
my horse back to the liveryman and told
him what happened to dad. and they
locked me up In box stall until some
body found the horse, cause they
thought dad was horse thief. and they
held me for ransom. But dad came
around before night and paid my ran
som, and we were released. Dad says
Rotten Row is rotten, all right enough,
and by ginger II is, cause he has not got
the smell OF that ditch on his clothes
yet.
Now he has got q new idea. and that 10
to 60 to some country where there are
bandits. different from the bandits here
in London, and be captured and taken to
the mountain Businesses. and held for
ransom until our government makes
fuss about It, and sends warships after
us. l tell dad 1t would be just our luck
to have our government fail to try to get
us. and the bandits might cut our heads
of and stick them on pole as warn
ing to people not to travel unless they
had q ransom concealed about their
clothes. But dad says he is out to see
all the sights, and he is going to be ran
somed before ne gets home. IL 1t takes
every dollar our government has got. l
think he is going to work the bandit
racket when we get to Turkey, but. by
ginger, he can leave me at convent, be-
cause don't want one OF those crooked
sabers run into me and turned around
like a corkscrew. Dad says / can stay
in a harem while he goes to the noun
tains with the bandits, and don't know
as care, as they say harem is the most
interesting place in Turkey. You know
the pictures we have studied in the old
grocery, where whole bunch OF beau
tiful women are practicing useing soap
in q marble bath.
Well, don't you say anything to ma
about 1t, but dad has got his foot in II
clear up to the top button. 1t isn't any
thing scandalous, though there Is
woman at the bottom OF 1t. You see, we
used to know girl that left home to so
out into the world and earn her own liv-
ing. She elocuted some at private par
ties and sanitariums, to entertain peo-
pie that were daffy, and were on the
verge of getting permanent bats in their
belfry, and after few years she got on
the stage, and made bunch OF money,
and went abroad. And then she had
married a titled person, and everybody
supposed she was duchess, or count
ess, and ma wanted us to inquire about
her when we got over here. Ma didn't
want us to 60 and hunt her up to board
with her, or anything. but just to get q
glimpse of high life. and see II our poor
little friend was doing herself proud in
her new station in life.
Gee, but dad found her, and she amt
any more of q duchess than am. Her