The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1905-01-31
By r. p.

ed MT. Hennessy.
Il did wanst," said Mr.. Dooley
tIvry thrue born American regards
himself as a great orator an I've al
ways had a pitcher iy meself in me
mind standin' befure a large an ad.
mirin' bunch iv me fellow pathritos
IN tnrilIin' Thin with me indignation
or ~convulsin' Thin with me wit. Mann,
times have I lay in me bed awake,
seem mesilf at tn head iv a table
pourin' out wurruds iv golden eio-
quence firm tn depths iv me lungs
1 made a pretty pitcher, I must say
cam, dignifed, a perfect master iv me-
siif an me audience. TIL %concoorse
shrieked with laughter wan minyit,
an rose TO their feet in frenzied ap-
plause tn next. In all me dhreams
I wore a white necktie an a long tail
cd coat, because 1 have a theory that
ali thrue eloquence comes firm tn
tails iv tn coat an if we made an ora
ter change into q short coat, he wuG
become def an dumb. As I sat down
afther me burst iv gleamin' wurruds
tn audience rose an cheered FIR five
minyits an Sinitor Beveridge, tn sill
yer spout iv tn Wabash who was to
follow me slinked out iv tn room.
SO wan day whin tn Archey Road
Improvement Comfy give their grand
banket an tn chairman asked me to
make q few appropriated remarks in
place " CLANCY Depoo. I told thin I
wud toss off some orathory just so tn
boys wud not be disappointed.
II didn't write out tn speech. No
great oratcry who has niver made a
speech needs to. I merely jotted down
g few Interruptions by tn audience;
ike this, Hinnissy: (Great Applause,)
Cloud n contiguous laughter,)
(Cries iv Good Hear. hear,) (Cries
IL NO, no. Go on.D (Wild cheerin'.
IN audience risin' to their feet an
singin': FIR he's a jolly good fellow
which nobody can deny.)
An Eavin' arranged all these nicis-
great orator who has niver made &
knew ivry man there an thurly de-
spi~ed thin. There wasn't wan iv
thin that I considered me INTELLECT
hool equal. At wan time or another,
ivry man of thin had to come to me
fr advice. But somehow, Hinnissy, tn
n1inyit I looked down ON what Hogan
calls tn sea iv upturned faces drink
in, I began to feel onaisy. I wasn't
afraid iv amy wan iv thin, mind We.
Man FIR man they were me friends.
But altogether they were me inimy.
I cudden't set still. 1 had come with
an appytite but I cudden't eat. I had
ID lump IN me throat as big as an ap-
pie. I felt quare in tn pit Nv me stom.
Itch. I noticed that me hands were
moist. / thried to talk to III man next
TO me but I cudden't hear what he
said. Wan orator afther another was
peltIn' t n audience with remarks out
" tn fcErth reader an I cudden't
listen to thin. All tn time I was
thinking: In a few minyits they'll de-
feet We. Martin Dooley, tn counther-
felt Domostheens.' TIL room swan be-
1ure me eyes; there was a buzzine in
me ears. I had all tn symptoms iv
@Boctor Bunyan's customers. I thried
TO collect me thoughts but they were
off tn reservation. I wud've gone If
L rcud walk an I was goin' to thry
whin I heerd tn chairman mint1on
me name. 1t sounded as if it come
kMlt Nv a CIlSdp puO1OSFdIC.
II frgot to tell we, Hinnissy, that in
Shinkin' iv me gr-reat effort I had re-
hearsed a few motions to inthrajooce
tn noble sintimints that was to bubble
UP firm me. At tn mintion iv me name
an durin' tn cheerin' that followed I
Uas goin' to lean forward with me- head
bowed an me and on tn edge iv tn
table an a demoor smile On me face
that cud be translated: TIL great
sna amused but wudden't have We know
] FIR wurrulds.' Whin tn cheerin'
1orong had exhausted it's strength I in
: nded to rise slowly, place me chair in
front iv me ar leanin' lightly on tn
s lex iv 1t, bow first to wan side an
zhin tn other IN remark: 'Misthe1
Chairman, a-a-and gint-elmen: Whir
J see so NANNY smilin' faces befure me
C. this suspicious occasion, I am re.
minded iv a little incident-'An' SO on
well, glory be, Hinnissy, I can hard
~ go on with tn story. It was twinty'
fve years ago but I can't think iv II
without a feelin' at tn end iv me fin
gers as though I had scraped a plasthel
wall. At tn mintion iv me name,
Iept to me feet, knockin' owe all tn
dishes an glasses in me nefghborhood
/ carefully stepped on me neighbor:
toes an bumped into tn chairman whI
was still tellin' what he wanted me II
think he thought iv me. I rolled me nap
kin up into a ball an thrust it into m
pants pocket. l become blind, def an
dumb. I raymimber maxim a few
grunts, fghtin' an imaginary inim.
with me fists an dhrcppin' in me chair
a broken four-f1ush PATRICK linn
I've niver got me reputation back. Mos
iv n people thought L was dhrunk
~Th' more charitable sal l was on,
crazy. TIL impression still remain II
Il ward that I'm a victim iv ~apop.exy
We'll, sir. it's a sthranse thing thi
aaere oratory. Ye see a man that y
wudden't ask to direct we to tn post
Office get on his feet an make a speecl
that wud melt tn money in ye'er peck
ct. Another man comes along that y
think a reg'lar little know-all an viii
he thries to make a speech to a