Evening journal., 1905-02-27
A Matter Of Clothes
IoriEinalI

Wheh OH duty, alWaS2 wearing the
plainest clothes. When he was young
lieutenant he had been noticeable for
always dressing when fn mutt in the
most fashionable attire. But suddenly
there had come a change. His fine
clothes were replaced by those Of the
most ordinary type, and from that time
forward he never again dressed as a
"swell."
One evening when a number OF re-
tired officers at the Army and Navy
club were sitting together one OF them
who had known him all his life re-
marked on the splendor OF his former
apparel and the sudden change. where
upon Browning told the following
story;
Some forty years ago a gentleman
stepped into a dance house at a point
on the upper Missouri river where was-
ons started for the interior. The gem
tleman could not have been more map
propriately dressed II he had attended
an Inauguration ball In a wooden shirt.
with his trousers tucked into his bootA.
II was case Of vice versa. The peo-
pie ia the dance house were team
sters, gamblers, thieves. cutthroatss tha
women, the lowest Of be lowest class.
The gentleman went among them dreas-
cd IN the height OF fashion True. he
wore what are called business Globes.
but from their cut and texture amoAg
the costumes In the dance house they
were as noticeable as II he had been
got up to represent rajah Of India
The gentleman stood looking on aa
the motley crowd dancing abouttO -the
music Of a scraped fiddle, and. being
nearsiehted, slipped a pair Of pincenez
glasses before his eyes In order tho
better 10 take IN the novel sight He
had never before seen men dancing
with their hats on nor men and women
pausing to walk VI to the bar to hare
drink together And It n question
able n the dancers ever saw such a
swell" looking young fellow IN a aaky
blue cravat spangIed with white dots
looking at them through a pair Of
eyeglasses without the slightest at
tempt TO conceal his interest in their
dress, manners and customs.
Very soon he was made aware Of the
fact that the people be considered 10
curious had feelings as well as HIM
self, though not as delicate methods of
showing them. There weps cries Qf
'sBlokeF' "Tenderf0otp "DudeF' and
such like appellations, and presently the
gentleman became aware that they
were applied 10 him. He was about to
turn and leave when a man stepped
up to him and, showing a revolver under
his nose. said:
stranger, we consider ourselves wu'th
a drink ali round"
BY this time the gentleman remem-
bered that he had heard Of such people
as these and when they made request
OF man in their power It must be
obeyed.
"AI right" he said. "step upF'
The man who had made the request
shouted that the stranger would set up
the drinks, and every one present drank
The stranger Joined. realizing that II
be did not he would very likely neveH
drink again. Then be paid the price.
which used up twenty dollar bin. and
was about to depart when the'man who
had forced the invitation sHid to him:
Now you"-here followed language
not to be repeated-''gitl"
The gentleman had not been unwfll-
ing to pay for the show he had enjoyed.
though under compulsion. but at this
point be demurred- Nevertheless be
bowed politely to the man ana remark
cd that he was sorry 10 have iui1udud
Then he Departed, walking br1slkky
down to the river bank, where he found
a boat tied UP, on which were soma
twenty recruits for the til uui1sd
States infantry stationed at Fort -,
They and the gentleman had arrived
only a couple Of hours before ana wuns
to proceed in the morning to me fuE4
Sergeant" said the gentleman, rRet
your men ashore and follow mee
The order was obeyed, ana In few
minutes the men with arms at night
shoulder were marching No NE road
way-it couldn't be called a street
the gentleman leading the way WhGn
they reached the dance house sfney nIsa
in and were drawn up IN nne beeuEs ne
only door. The gentleman then brUuEnk
them to an "aim" and remarkea- 20 the
assembly:
Every man on his head~
One or two who saw blood IA his
eye obeyed instantly. but It was some
minutes before all followed.
'Turn somersauits."
Every man obeyed the order. Then
the gentleman directed the man who
had insulted him to get up on a table
and dance. When the sport became
tiresome the manager OF the show turn
p ed the men over to the sergeant ana
ordered him to march them back 70 the
boat.
! Who was the gentieman7 Second
Lieutenant Ned Browning-in other
words. myself. 1 had brought the
recruits up the river and on the even
ing OF our arrival had fallen into the
water and barely escaped drowning. I
had no change OF uniform. but I did
have q suit OF "clt's' clothes. After a
rubbing / put them on and having
nothing better to do, thought would go
up and see something OF frontier life.
1 saw more than had bargatned for.
That episode taught me a lesson. Ths
wearing OF anything TO attract attention.
..~hofho, f-,r,, ffo r,e...rx1lorffwv Pv..~.s