The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1905-01-08
ENGLISH TEACHERS STORIES.
Specimens Of Humor and Quaint sayings
From Schoolroonis.

From SchoOlroonis.
large and amusing selection OF Ak
amples Of humor from the schooiroom, says
the Schooimas'er. has been collected bv
Dr. Mcnamara. To whom tho anecdotes
were sent by teachers in all parts Of the
British Isles Their authenticity * guaran.
teed by their senders and Or Macnamars
has kept everything out which is not new
One Of the gems Of the collection IL reply
to the question, -Who is Mr., Chamberlain
The answer was. A man who broke ont
among other people Another boy said
Mr.. Chamberlain has glass eye, and keeps
shop called John Bulls Store
The following, although not from the
schoolroom is delicious in its suggestion OF
reform Pleas sur Jonnie was KEEP home
to-day have had twins. II shant occur
again. Yours, truly Mrs Smith
1t must have been Scotch boy who e1-
planned Davids preference 70 be a door
keeper in the house OF the Lord by saying
Because he could walk about outside while
the sermon was being preached
Occasionally a word which 70 the childish
ear sounds similar 70 the proper one give-
a very humorous turn to an otherwise BALD
statement of fact The marriage customs
of the ancient Greeks We're that a man had
only one wife and 1t was called lnonotony,
said one child
-Thou shalt not kick duckery," was a
four-year-old child'h version OF the Seventh
Commandment
1T was promised for you in your bap-
tism E1id a school inspector. that You
would fight against three great evils, Tell
me what they are.
MY godfathers and godmotbers,- was
the reply of one youth,
Nov. my dear children said an arch
deacon. Il will AJAX YOU few questions ~
your Catechisfn. Which of you can tell me
the two things necessary in baptism?'
thing, and what is the other? What Car
none Of you think what else is necessary
Well little girl what do you say
Little Girl. please sir, n baby
Teacher tafter clHsS had read OF st Pauls
adventures among the "baTbarans Of 90
lita"): What is a barbarian
Pupil: A man who cuts hair, sir
Surely II was an Irish child who explained
that under the Sale law no woman could
become a King, Another definition which
will not appeal TO every poet l.. Poetry y,
when every line begins with capital letter.
-Oliver Goldsmith was one OF the greatest
poems in Ireland. and his father was
Clergyman. He wrote he Deserved village
tho Unauthorized virgin, and many others
A Standard V. boy gives the following
information about the pig y pig when
living has four legs but when You Kill 1t
the butcher says II only has two. because
he calls the front legs shoulders and Nh"
back legs are called hams Ham tastes
nice and they boil II TO eat at wedding
The missus spinlfles little bits of toast on
it TO make il look pretty
The hare is dealt with by youthful
author IN Standard Ill IN the following
manner: Young hairs are called eyc-
retts. Hairs sleep much They always
sleep with their eyes open. Hairs have NJ
eyelashes. Their four legs are shorter
tbnt, fhair hind Loo. fTnafr Aur ID.
remarkably good. Hairs pass their lives
in SOLITUDE and silents They are often
hunted on horseback and by hownds
natural history tyro has quaint ideas
about the camel. IT. nest, ne says, 'is
a very mean one. made of twigs. leaves, &c
1t has a large body, and it i able 10 carry
il full OF water II has two humps Of Fat
on it, back. on which it il able 10 feed Shcu
il is hungry liz feet are webbed, in which
il Is able TO cross the desert It's air Il
used 10 make brushes which are used for
painting II also lays eggs 1t eats worms
The following incident occurred a few
weeks ago
Scene History lesson TO Standard III
on the Loss Of the White ship
Teacher IT Is said that after King
Henry heard Of the death OF his son be
never smiled again
Boy (who has been deeply interested in
the story Please, miss, what did ne d.
when they tickled him?'
The following answer 10 a physiology
question was written by a boy who evidently
tried 10 make the most Of it.:
Y. What are the lungsf Where are they
placedy What are they used fors
4. The lungs are too in number they are
origins OF the body; they are -bea-hi~e1
in shape they are situated in the abdomen
and are used for thinking purposes.
e. short time ago Gays teacher II
was taking lesson on the use Of the hy-
phen. Having written number OF "N
amples on the blackboard. the first Of wElcl
was 'bird-cage.' | asked the boys 10 give
a reason for putting the hyPhen between
bird and ca e' After a short silence
one boy who Is among The ounces held W
his hand and said II Is for the bird t. pero'
Oh sir.
The ubiqui-y Of Bill Bailey is shown s,
the following version ot Colin Stcrues
verses
Hars TO the sni l,h win ns clanr elsuz rArE
Iu DTS forge he's working dai,
For Ms arm Is strong and he sings song
rs he strikes his An Blll BAILEY
The teacher bad been talking about
hen sitting on eggs and. with the incubator
in any other way. Yes. put EN- under
a duck. was the response.
Please excuse little Mary from atten1-
ing school this afternoon, Rs she has ~
Illustrated throat. with glaciers on bon
sides. was a note sent 20 teacher.
II was playiime. Wordy warfare Tas
being waged between two che1iblc l.t-'e
brothers " four aud FIVE summers As
drew near says a teacher,
Please. can Stanley play on my har
cried tnc bigger
Yes. shall. yes -hall'- iauut-d ht-.s
dancing with miscellaneous joy
But. Harold, you haven't a harp.
When we're IN heaven he muttoTet.
fercey. He says, when we're In heaven
he shall plaYon my hRrp!Ne A.. 1-ls.--