The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-02
HUMOR OF THE Day

HUMOR OF THE Day
Mrs. Johnson-De baby am de punect
image OBJ his father
Mrs. Mokeby--Yeah; he's a regular car
bon copy.-Puek.
Bridget"
''Yis, num-
Did you. BON this drinking water, as
''Yis. mum. billed it two hours. why.
amt 1t done9''-Cleveland Leader.
Grandpa-And If you work hard you
may be president Of the limited States
Tommy-Geel That'd be great. I'd just
love to go huntin. '-Harper's Bazaar.
Younger Son of Ducal House-Alother,
allow me to introduce to you-my wife.
His Wife date Of Frivolty theater)-
How do, duchess? I'm the latest thing
in esallianees.-Punch.
Mrs. Brown-What did she say when
you told her first met my husband in
noe Of the big department stores?
Mrs. Green-She said there were lots OF
cheap articles picked up in the big stores.
Chicago News.
Napoleon was scaling the Alps. BY his
side rode Marshal Ney.
Sire" said the latter, what do you
think of yon towering peaks which we
Like the lash of his eagle eye came the
reply Of the Little Corporal, They look
say him nay.-EXchange-
The hotel is 50 crowded. sir. that the
best we can do is to put you in the same
room with the proprietor"
That viii be an right; just put my val
liable in the safe Chicago Journal.
Wish had some
That would show me
n
Philadelphia News.
Professionalism, Demosthenes was
peerless orator and he had to contend
with great difficulties.
shnaIl-That's SO; he had to speak
in Greek, didn't he?-Fhiladelphia Ledger.
You here. James,v exclaimed the sIun1
worker, visiting the jail.
-ssYes'rl," replied the new prisoner, who
was in for burglary.
Wen. vel. I certainly am surprised,
so was I, ma am, OF I wouldn't be
here. Philadelphia Press.
Great Britain is going to send over a
commission to investigate our idiot asy-
How stupid those Britains arel They
think all our idiots are in asylumssa -
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Rodney-You weren't vexed that I told
your good story, were you. Sidney? Ev-
erybody laughed immoderately.
Sidney-Of course, not; I told it myself
just before you came in.-Brooklyn Life.
why don't you contribute something
to the cause of REFORM
Well answered Senator Sorghum 1T
has been said that I have already done
Necessary ssa1.r! washington Star.
watkyns-What charming fellow
scribbler is He is as good natured as
Wy Slii perhaps he is. but you
just ought TO hear him howl and swear
when he is at work. He is night editor
you knOW.-Somerville Journal.
First Lawyer-Don't you think we. are
giving our client unnecessary trouble2
Second LaWyer-Xes, but we'll charge
him for it-Smith's Magazine.
"A man doesn't really get any sense
until he is 40 years of age.
Whats the application!
And then no business house seems to
care to employ him. '-Philadeiphia Bull
letin.
you'd better 60 sl.o9w in your drink,
will do to your constitution"
oh replied Galley. my constitutions
gone now; haven't anything left now but
my buv-laws Philadelphia Ledger.
The CIergyman-My little man, do you
go to church every Sunday?
Bobby-Yes. sir. I'm not old enough to
stay away yet-Life.
siveiy. Can any one tell me why?'
Because sometimes their gasolene tank
explodes." promptly replied the up-tO-
date little boy.-Baltimore American.
Flatbush-There's a great boom ont at
Cothani-so I hear
Flatbush-Why, people are Just crazy
y w yeti 1 should say they would
be.-XonkerS Statesman
Mrs. Viewed during the. first spat)-
Some Of my. friends say that you only
Newed-weli, please don't contradict
them, my dear I don't want them to
think I'm a fool.-Chicagc News.
MY son tells me you have discharged
him. said the office boys mother ITS
very strange; you advertised for strong
lies too strong, madam" replied the
employer; in the single day he was here
he broke all the rules OF this. office and
some of the furniture. philadelphia
Press.
biles? II you do. I want to sell you
yes, sir. we d. How long have you
Since this morning. Life.
waiter. what sort of pie is this. any
ssApple pie. sir
''Nonsensel Why, there are no apples
NO, sir. IT'S made Of svapOratsd APP
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
IFrom the New York Press.1
It's awful hard work to try to es-
cape working.
No matter how pretty girl is 1t is
safe to tell her she is prettier.
.ur-...-r. -.r.n-.-.. e. an.s..r- II.