The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-03-10
THE LADY tU5GLAR.

Washington Star: The lady burglar
t"Ned retlectively with her bunch OF
Roman gold skeleton keys. They were
leld together by Il narrow rerIse ribbon
1t was ut an early hour In the after
noon. and the lady burglar had lust
risen. Her maid had brought her "A
tihy cup of cofe-the cup was OF the
most rare SeNres-and a cavlare sand
wich; II bizarre breakfast. truly; but.
then. nearly all lady burglars are BIZ
zane.
II fear 1 am nnuye this morning
afternoon, is it," said the lady burglar,
yawning. as the Interviewer entered
her boudoir. One grows so weary OF
1t all, does one not? And yet we wom-
we nave entered professional life. oh.
yes, ones profession has its
IONS. but. mung doc! the awful mon
otony of it! Nhe perpetual striving af-
ter perfection. A,e constant effort to
elevate ones sell to the topmos, pin
nacle! oh, ii is dreary! Filiue, my
salts.
"The nature of my compensatiens"
Oh. truly. they exist. | shah Illustrate.
Last night-rather, this morning.
was iansacking the Jewel case OF a
woman who won for a husband a man
for whom | cared when | was but =;
rhild-ah. yes. but a child. And, by the
way, some of the jewels are vrey pref
ty. | shall nave Fffine bring them di-
rectly. Well, do you know. i have al
WAYS been perfectly certain in my own
mind that that woman made UP afro
ciously. | confess she has always been
skillful at it. but. zone the less / felt
Very confident that she was dread
fully made up. Well. after / had de-
posted all OF her jewels safely in my
new carry-all skirt-my own invention;
| Wore it for the first time last night.
ana II is "A dream of cnyofnrt &, nj h,,,Jj
ness-l couldn't resist the temptation
to flash my lark lantern in her face.
Her husband is out of the city, you
know. and she is quite alone. Well.
she vas a sight! Haggard! Listen!
l make my prisons that l shall never
grow so haggard. And. saccrey bloc,
how Yellow! How dieadfully yellow.
And such crowfeet! Trenches. posi-
lively trenches! And her hair-that
she has always claimed to be naturally
WaNy-why. it was done up in kids!
She awoke with a start when I flashed
my lantern in her face. b~ut--poufi-I
was gone. Now. was not that a COM
penSation-the unexpected proving of
a suspicion with reference TO a rival VI
other daNs-ah, sad, and yet ever beau
tlful other days! f'itine, my handker-
chief"
The lady burglar lavished some tears
upon her Mexican terrier and pro-
2eeded:
But there is 50 much to fatigue one.
too. in my profession. Now, l had all
ways believed Journalists TO be. more or
less, fabricators-ah. pardon!-speak-
ing generally, You know. But | know
know that they are not. Journalists
maze always engaged in p%e"siiiage with
reference to the habit-that married
mems wives have of going through
their pockets. their trouser pockets.
Listen, That is true! The journalists
are not fabricato,s. Alas for my sex.
6u the married Women do go through
their husbands pockets. I have seen
them do ii with these eyes. No later
than last week I was about 10 enter.
toward midnight. the apartment of a
Very wealthy capitalist living in the
northwest section of your most beauti-
iul city. One of my agents-ah, ooey,
! haVe observing agents!-had in
formed me that this capitalist always
carried a large bundle of bills in his
trousers pocket. and l went after it.
Would You believe 1t. just az | reached
the portiefes hanging between the
dressing room and the bed room the
light suddenly went UP n Very little.
sheltering shadow of the portieres,
whence L could observe the entire bed
room.
oh. it was too Irritating, The gen
tleman was peacefully slumbering, but
his Wife-such u~nspeakable wicked
'N'' it'Na A'S'i ana VAS IN
the very act of going through his trou-
sers pockets, / could have shaken her,
Such observation-disclosures! n after the
careful work l had accomplished In
gaining entrance to the residencei 1t
was shocking. 1 was compelled to
watch her remove a large. yellow roll
from his right-hand trousers .,ocket.
and she deliberately removed the rub
Der band from the bundle and counted
the bills. Did you ever hear of such
awfulness? And such a shocking
strain upon my nerves, too!
But these are the drawbacks to
ones profession. OF course, l got the
bundle. She placed it in the bottom
bureau drawer. turned out the light
and quietly crawled baek to bed. Then
l waited for a while and got the roll.
But such an amount of unnecessary
trouble! Fifine. you may prepare me
a little lilac bath this morning.
And then, the impudence of some
Of those whom we visit. The humiii-
alton they cause one. shall narrate
an example. 1 spent the month OF
August at Newport. Well, at one of
the Casino balls one night, l observed
a Philadelphia matron whose Jewels
We're really divine. Well, 1 found them
lying upon her dressing room table a
few hours later. after she had retired
When l examined them in the morn
blush to confess it-they wers
And the horrid woman an
In the papers that she ALWAYS
kept phony jewelry on her dressing
at night to befool marn,5srss
oh. sad, sad!"
Then Fitine announced that he lilac
bath was waiting, and the interviewey
One on the Doo.