davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15
JOURNAL ENTRIES

W. notice b. the morning Capital that
Theodore, junior, killed another elk and
boar up In New Hampshire Tuesday.
was this the same ones he killed a week
ago, as recorded IN the papers OF last
week and Sundays CapitaI7 The LAM
guage Is exactly the same except the
date. Possibly the Capital considers
It such good news that 1t republishes 1t
as an encore.
The Kansas City Star In its sTnforraa-
ton for Inquirers' says &C. C. Coleman
g the attorney general for Kansas"
What the Star means Is that Mr. Cole
man Is the alleged attorney general for
Kansas
A Bunalo woman kept tab on her
husband and discovered that he got
drunk 1i0os times in eight years. Think
how unwifely It was OF her to keep tab
on him like thatl
People who hold up the busy little bee
as an example Of industry never mem
ton the fact that the bee loafs around
all winter. lying abed late living on
honey. and having a good time gem
orally.
Are you doing your part IN avoiding
the rush?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

that you say yes to the question B
asked you Wednesday,.
81u said, then. you would give me
g Week," she pleaded.
Circumstances alter cases" he de-
creed. rs it 'yes7''
It must have been, for Corson said
Darlingt" 50 inpulsively, that &c
reached the ears Of the giant. who had
drawn apart In the faint hope that
there might 80 be an excuse for
breaking the little dude in pieces, and
as be wandered back 70 the car, his
sentiments were anything but the
bless you. my children" appropriate
ia the circumstances.
Copyright, 1906, By Beatrfx Reade.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15
QUARTER REFLncTroNs.
fFron The philadeIphia Reco4s !

IFrom the Philadelphia Record
Don't look for trouble unless voi1
know what to do with It when you ma
it
Lots Of learned men have been i'm
posed upon, but the sage isn't alwavs
as green as he looks.
Wigg-" Scribb1er isaists upon read
ing his verses to his fr1endn.' y Vvarv--
Gee! Hes lucky 70 have any
DO you believe there are germs ana
microbes in money2fs asked the ,Sers
man. Sir" replied the piutocraf. II
am billiOnaire, not a bacterioIoaist.
HOaz-' Liquor Is only sold IN fbs
drug stores in some Of the fstruosna dieS
tricts ont west" Joax-"An6 Z eunnose
it's only step from the farm 70 fha
pharmacy"
you. are a hea~tiess firt,,s he er-
claimed You have trided with nv
directions" ooh, Harold she cried -
love you. I have never trtied with
you Yes, you have" he retorfa5
q You never disabused my mind Of the
belief that your father was weal4he
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15
A MIsTAKEN IDEA-

Out here in little country town
where three carnations make a bank
Of flowers" and where receptions
never cost more than 21 cents a head
we have an exaggerated notion that
among the wealthy of the east a man
can do anything and Society for
gives him. Take that notion to the
river and dump It. Corey, the steel
magnate. and a, very wealthy man,
wants to divorce his wife for an ac-
trsss, and no one will stand for It.
All his kin have jumped him, his
friends have cut him, and he is about
to lose his Job. In the west, there is
a notion that a real rich fastener can
change wives as often as the law al
lows him.-Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15
eHA1s'PA.s CHRISTMAS Kg1z.

On Chxis'nias eve my gran'pa he
ne mo set mp mp Chris mas eFsef
An nen he laugh an shal1s his head
An say it's time At I'm in bed
But say IN not say. goodnight
I'm go sit Up; pa said might
- e. ieng e. ~. Wsa T. e 2Sae 49,
II
Men gran'pa he Ist laugh again
An say he ea-vy me- an nen
He get 8 grea' big roclEin' chair
An. SIT down in i over there's
An take me on his lap an say
when he would wait by candielight
For Santa Claus 70 come at night
III
So al the folks they go to bed.
IN he gets tRlkin- bout the time
~ srsa he 5asn j n ss ans n =
Ist 9 little boy like met
An how he'd watch FOR Santa Claus
TO eonle down where the fireplace was.
".
Men I kedI him how some folks say
There amt no Santa anyway
An says; You can tell them folks there
An nen he. tell me how he brought
The bestest gift be ever got
At Santa on one Chris mas day
Givs him my gran ma anyway.
An nen laugh. bat he don't speak
4 Erea' big tear was on his cheekl
BuhcauSe my gran mas gone away
Lo some place where the angels stay
An next we know we've siept ali night
An got lots O. things because
Wilbur p. Nesbit in The Pilgrim for
December.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

1Er. N o. Nelson, the st. Louis mil
honaire who believes in prodt-sharing
with his employees. offers to be one Of
zen or a dozen men to give q thousand
dollars each towards a fund to be used
in making small loans to worthy labor
ing men upon the endorsement Of some
fellow emplove. Mr.. Nelson makes this
proposition In order to abate the loan
shark evil-the charging Of tremendous
and oppressive interest rates for small
loans. II sometimes happens that sick
ness or other misfortune compeIs a poor
man to borrow. and when he gets into
the clutches Of the loan shark It IS diffi-
cult for him TO get out. Mr. Nelson's
idea IS to make the loans at a low rate.
Believing q mans companions win exer-
else a restraint upon his going in debt
unwisely. if security is required from
them
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

@ my nice warm ark into this catfish
hole 1or3 thought you said it would
be dry7" "Oh, we'll" said the dove as
he muncned an olive from the olive
bowl and reached for a cheese sand
wich and few over to the bar. ''of
course If you're that particular; but I
only meant compare tiveIy!"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

william Allen White denies that he
ever said a certain well known wet
community was absolutely dry, with
the lid soIdeTed down. He asserts that
he said 1t was only comparatively dry
and to strengthen his case against
John Gilmore. the complaining witness.
he tells this story on Noah: Noah was
prodding around on his farm few
DAYS after the food, prying the ele-
phant out OF the mud, when a pigeon
new up and roasted on the ark Noah
was sweating and swearing when he
stood up and put his hand on the small
81 his back and wiped the mud out Of
his eyes and saw the dove and broke
out. "say you-you-you-wall
nrevaricator-what did you get me out
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

eli or by the people. The Municipal
league OF the city has secured revisions
Of the charter covering the abortion Of
the merit system in All departments.
the initiative and referendum" for
local legislation. and other notable re-
forms. Los Angeles has no political
boss. and party lines are not maintain
ed IN city elections.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15
1Vashineton.s Government.

The history class in one OF the pub
lie schools in the northwest had just
concluded a recitation the other day,
when the teacher took advantage of a
few spare minutes to test the knowl-
edge Of her pupils concerning the form
of the District government. Her very
first question wass
TN whom is the governing power Of
this city vestedg %
Silence reigned for a moment Then
little Tommy's hand went up and to
teachers wen. Tommy, the follow
ing answer was vouchsafed:
1.-THE governors Of the district are
three missionaries, two taken from
civilized life and one from the Injun
corpse. w Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

We are apt to look upon South Araeri-
can republics as small potatoes and few
1n q hill Some Of them are-but there
are others. The great majority Of the
people Of the United States have about
as crude an idea Of the temperate zone
republics Of South America as the Brit
fish have OF the United States. For in
stance, do you know that the capital Of
the Argentine Republic is a city Of more
than a million inhabitants and is grow
Ing as rapidly as Chicago?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

Isn't Editor walker Of the Osborne
Farmer becoming a trihe radical2 IN
speaking Of the poor train service on
the Central Branch he says; IF the
state board Of railroad commissioners
was not such a joke something might
be done. But as it is now, the people
along the Central Branch will have to
wait until the Missouri Pacific changes
its mind. or until the people Of Kansas
elect a board that is not owned body
and soul By the railroada...
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15
A WHOOPINq 7cAUGH PARTY.

New York may have her Delmonico
dinners, her spreads at Sherry's, her
Fifth Avenue functions and her hun
dred thousand dollar balls-but she
never had a whooping cough party.
Wellington is the inventor and paten-
tee, as shown IN the news columns of
this paper. Let no foul metropolis at
tempt to snatch this new laurel from
her WELLINGTON News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15
REFLECTIONS OF A BAOHELOR
IFrom the New york Press1

TIT - S72-I
It is better to have a wife than
breach Of promise suit.
A girl has an awful lot Of sense to do
so well without any.
Too much soft soap makes the fell
low you want to catch so slippery you
cart hold him
# women had to shave they would
have a very dinerzEt idea from what
they have Of what mirror is for.
When woman trusts her husband
1t is sign she wouldn't If she knew
as much about him as other people do.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15
INsURANCE -coNsCIENCEs.

Consoiences of insurance managers
are certainly going through period Of
great awakening, and the power OF pub
licitv to start reform movements is
clearly shown.-San Francisco Can.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

If the weather man won't take 1t as
provocation to overdo the matter we
would remark something about there
being no indication as yet OF white
Christmas"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15
FROM OTHER PENS


The Oswego independent complains
that luxuries come unusually high in
Labette county. For fnstance-it cost
a Mound Valley man $50 to whip a
school teacher the other day.-Erie
Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15
Didn,t e. His Feet We.

Old Jim Macornber lives alone on
small island In Lake Boone, but he by
no means shuns society, especially the
convfviaL At a farewell celebration
given at the close Of the past season
by one of the summer cottagers Jim
was an invited guest. and when the
party broke up after midnight and he
set out for his itdand he was SO COM
pleteiy bew1ldered that he spent the
night cropping about in the thick bushes
behind the barn. searching for his boat.
Meantime one of the visiting cot
tapers. who was almost as befuddled
as Jim was, waded out into the water
and climbed into his boat from the fur
Their end and then drifted about on the
lake for the rest Of the night and un-
til daylight brought something Of sober
ness.
when the company assembled IN the
morning there was much joking at the
expense of the pair. The discounted
cottager in desperation tried to turn at
teutfon from himself to Jim by re-
marking: @Jin, I hear that you were
looking for your boat out IN the bushes
last night, a half mile from shore"
Immediately came the retort from
jim: "Wal, ef 7 was, I didn't get my
feet wet, by gosh. Boston Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

over In Germany the increase in the
strength Of our navy is being used as
an excuse for charging the German
navy. In Washington the menace Of
the German navy IS a strong argument
for spending money on ours.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

Berlin now has a little over two mil
lion people, but Chicago warns it to
just wait tn the city OF the lakes gets
out new directory and has another
chance to estimate" its population.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15
THE CLOCK OF PROGRESS.

Norway's choosing a king by a big
majority instead of a president looks
like turning the clock Of progress back
ward.--Baltimore Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

At the same time that the newspa-
pers announce that Senator Burton Of
Kansas has opened his of1ce IN Wash
lngtens the information Is printed that
the senate does not intend to take any
action with reference to any senators
until the highest courts have passed
upon the cases. This means that Kan
saH win be without an active senator
until the end OF Burt0n's term unless
he resigns. which Is not looked upon
as probabie.-LaWFence Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

An eastern exchange asserts that
Ohio has three wooden-legged mayors
Better a wooden-legged one than a
northumberland one.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

In his most sensible address to the
class of journalism in the Kansas State
university, +. L. vandegrift. of To-
peka, gives this sane and wholesome
advice to the young Newspaper peo-
pie Remember whatever is. is right
no matter what It is. It Is right"
This Is n most remarkable statement
coming from old Want is raw op-
timism, without pepper or salt and
his friends VIII be alarmed to read
such opinions from him. They will be
wondering what dreadful influence is
over him to make him dislike q change.
They viii wonder If he has watered
stock in some concern that he does
not care to have exposed. They Will
wonder what baneful mesmeric force
has got him In its daabolie clutches
making him fight so valiantIy for the
statu quo. Many OF Vans friends are
cheerful idiots who believe in the
world and the flesh and disbelieve in
the devil but heretofore Van has been
kicking and scratching and gouging
and biting fiercely in his implacable
fury against things as they are. This
surrender IS narvelousl-Enpo ria
Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

For a man who little while ago was
declared to be an obsolete quantity in
affairs, T. c. P1att is having a great
deal to Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

II vic Murdoch really runs for sena-
tor win be run on the red-headed is
suaT
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

Los Angeles, Cal, Is called the most
advanced Of all our American cities by
william f. Curtis, noted special
writer. Every two years the charter of
Los Angeles is open to amendment.
Changes may be proposed by the coun-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

II congress passes a law compelling
national committees to publish the list
of their contributions and expenditures
it may be embarrassing for some of
the national committeeman who occa-
sionally take home some Of the swag
to their state committees-sn others.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

Anyway no one has heard J. s. Dean
naafring a fuss about IT. which is an
othor good point for Dean.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

NOW it 81 announced that Miss Alice
zrnI be married IN February. On the
18TH. do you suppose2
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

It Is to be sincerely hoped that Mr..
j. P. Morgan won't feel called upon to
write a lot Of magazine articles about
the c. H. & D. deal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

A shirt went through the Parsons
laundry last week with two diamond
studs in the bosom, and the owner got
them back. This IS the most remark
able shirt tale in KanEas.-IOia Reg
fster
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

All the ST. petersburg dispatches now
come via TydGzuhnen. It is suspected
that Eydtkuhnen is another name for
T,ondon
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15
Won't TAKE LONG.

James Hazen Hyde says he IL now
ready to tell all he knows about the life
insurance, business. Mr.. Hyde Will please
take the stand for about three seconds
The Commoner.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

another thing that bothers US IS
whether to call him Governor DaFol-
lette or Senator L.aFouette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

It Sc stu q popular deluslon In the
east that ali Kanssns wear long whisk-
sEs.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

New york has been drained q mon
ey BY the prosperity Of the country,
and particularly the agricultural west.
That is the nub Of the money situation
IN this city.-1Tew York Mail
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

Among other things. Pat Grove might
be questioned concerning the mystery
Ct who struck Billy Patterson
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15
TAFTs RECORD.

AS a travelling public investigator and
official orator Secretary Taft undoubt-
edly holds the record-St. Louis Globe
Democrat.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15
ANOTHER QUESTION.

troll all the corporations which are
concerned with interstate commerce
But what sort of commission are we
to get to control congress lola
Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15
BERT wAI,KBR's OPINION.

An artist will work for weeks to
daub paint onto a canvas to produce
a pale moon floating through heecy
clouds, but I can tell any woman how
to make that picture to look like
thirty cents: A plate of nice, brown
hot biscuit in the middle Of a dining
room table.-Osborne Farmer
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15
Hls VIC Knew lin

The late Hezekiah Butterworth, aa-
thor OF "Ztgzag Journeys" and other
Juvenile books waz a profoundly relig-
ious man, with a great adherence Of
hypocrisy.
Mr.. Butterworth,' said a Bostonian.
held hypocrisy to be the worst sin Of
all He particularly loathed that form
Of hypocrisy wherein a clergyman, ten
dered new charge at a. higher salary
declares that it is solely the prospect Of
an enlarged field Of usefulness (wlrhout
consideration Of the pay) which causes
him to accept the charge.
And he told me gleefully one day Of
a stab that had been given a hypocziti-
cal clergyman by his wife.
This man had a church that raid
him S1.s00 a year. Suddenly, like man
ma IN the wilderness there came an
offer from a New York church at a
salary of $4,000 a year Would he ac-
cept?
well, would her It seemed doubtful
He talked about the offer all the time.
The money, he declared, did not enter
into his calculations at all. The only
question was, would he, or would he
not, do more good in the enlarged New
York field than he could do in hts pres
ent cramped quarters?
He even called a special meeting Of
his yeBtryEnen. and told them that he
was prayerfuliy, and even tearfuIly de-
asked their advice. They urged him TO
stay.
''WeH, week after the offer came
Mr. Butterworth called and the clergy
man at once laid the whole matter be-
fore him. The clergyman's wife. seated
by the window, looked bored. The maa
talked like a machine about the salary
counting as naught.' the prospect of an
enlarged field Of usefulness, 'prayerful,
even fearful consideration, and so on
well. madam, said Mr.. Butter
worth, turning with a faint frown 70
the clergyman's wife, what do you
think? VIII he accept or won't her
she answered the frown with 8.
sneer.
"a 4 have already finished packing
she said.ss-C Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15
KANSAS cOAAENz
q HNIIIlI1rn-

Don't look for novel TO cry over.
Read the stories Of the prosecutions Of
the Jews In Russia. and have your
handkerchief ready.-Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

The consensus of popular opinion
seems to be that football is tainted
PittsBurg Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

Here's a hint, pIaywrights: Emper-
or Ki of Korea would make just as
good a hit as the Sultan Of Sulu, and
he's out of a Job, too.-Los Angeles
Express.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15
WTTT TOTJNDTD

Senator Plat must feel better now
that he has placed q foundation under
all the suspicious that were treasured
about him.-Detroik Free Press
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15
OUGHT 10 - LESS.

There is a disouieting runor that
New Yorlx's 400 have shrunk to 70. Those
win demand a recount.-New York Trf-
bune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15
Big scandal Vanishes.

The late Jed .Spalding of Michigan,
who weighed $40 pounds and stood six
feet i've in his socks, was one OF the
best lockers fla the state. He had
I1rother-fn-Iaw In politics, whom he did
not Ike very well and once very Wig
oro4isly5 opposed his candidacy for
mayor OF Port Huron, Mich. One day
while the campaign was at It's height
the ministers OF the city held q meet
ing to decide, which candidate to sup
port Jed happened to meet one Of the
pastors on the way to the meeting
This preacher was an aged Scotchman
and somewhat hard of hearing. He
told SpaldfIlg that he would do all he
could TO prevent the brother-in-law's
Endorsement and asked for a pointer
or two for a speech. Spalding, ever
ready for q Joke. saw his chance, and
pulling the pastor aside, shouted In his
ear: my brother-in-law is living with
another mans sister
you don't tell me" the pastor said
and he hurried of to the meeting to
spread the news among the ministers.
He got the platform Immediately ana
said
''rhe Democratic candidate is a
most wicked wretch. He is living with
another mans sister. I have the word
of his brother-in-law, Jed Spalding,
for it"
Imm ediately the meeting was in an
uproar. The mention of Jed Spalding
was enough. The laughter became tu-
1nultuous, but the pastor didn't notice
the mistake he had made until told
that Jed Spalding himself was the
other n."-Chtcago InteT-Ocean.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

And it has been decreed that foot
ball is also-er, wari-New York Com
merciai.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15
THTY rs OUR'N.

The Philippines are ours, says Secre-
tary Taft. Isn't it just the reverse
Aren't we theirs ?-St. Louis Post-Dis-
patch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

That man Grafton is always smiling
and happy" remarked the observant
man. He can't have anything to trouble
his conscience
NO" answered Senator Sorghum. TT
isn't that He has no coincidence to be
troubled by anything w ashington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

Adam-what is It now, for goodness
saiSez
Eve-I need $50 more to do my Christ
mas shopping.
Adam-Great serpenti You appear to
cling to that old idea that I'm made OF
dust.-Cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

Yeast-Did he fail to make a success of
business?
Crimsonbeak-Yes. I believe that is why
he fafled--Yonkers Statesman.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

'sWhat7" demanded her mother you
haven't left your husband7'
Yes" scbbed the Wretched young wife,
@he insulted me-insulted me horribly
Howl What?"
We were just having g, little spat and
all of a sudden he said. oh, you womenl
You're all alike. Philadelphia Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-15

mo. have no dinner for you" said the
housekeeper sternly. and don't you come
here after dinner again"
Beg pardon, LADY, replied the tramp,
but didn't spose you'd have dinner over
dis early in de day. p amt very stylish,
are yer Philadelphia Press.