The news & observer., 1905-10-22

hasn't sense enough TO be-
Shure, an dio We include yuresllt
in tn shtatmint, said Mr.. Hennessy.
'Oi admit thoC Oi am mlmber Nv
tn family, put Oi 90 il with a brush
iV shame said Mr.. Dooley, an Vi
wudn'a hev it known be amy wan n
tn amount me pious frien RocAefcl-
Ter cud make out iv lie at wan clnt a
barrel afther gIvin' tin million dol
lhers to tn gineral idchoocauon
fund. Don't ye niver tell 1t to MlsSls
Dooley, FIR it's her opinion thot Oh
amt al mon at all, at all, an she ra-
minds me iv it VERY hour ~ tn day.
Shtill she Wudnt allow amy othef
woman to say tn same and she Wud
give her throuble il she did. Shpakln
Nv tn humin race, Hennessy, ii is
niver endin noine days wondher TO
me- A mon is iv few scruples an fulf
iv graft an a woman is maleshtrom
iv mysthery. Take tn average citizen:
He riseth up early i'll tn mornln an
goes down Shtreet TO gather IN lVery-
thing thot amt nailed down or locked
m an shud his children asst tr q
penny to buy a tahiti WITH beJabberS,
an he says it's a school book he's buy
in livery day in tn week. Shud ye
go to him with a petition to ralease
murderer, he soigns it at wanst but
shud ye ast him to put his name %
promise to pay tn praycher wan
dollher an forty cints year, be
hivinS, an he says, 'Jist wait wan
mint. an he vanshes in tn dishpen-
sary. hev'in' thought iv booze be tn
mintion iv tn praycher's name, which
is tn association iv oideas. Shud We
hit him bechune tn Dyes with a black
an whoite proposition iv morality an
religion he is with We, an he spltS
shtream iV ambeer acroSt tn side
walk an he says, That's roight but
shud ye hev' an invention thot ye
hevnt got patented an ye go to him
f'r advoice, shure, an he is in wash
ington be tn MKT thrain an tn pa
tent is his. Ye may point out 20 a
sntranger tn nobliSt mon in yure
community an ye say, 'Oi hev' known
him forty years an he niVer done
nawthin' wrong i'll all tn tonne an
tn mkt mornin' tn payple is aston
ished to read in tn pa-a-pers thot he
has led a double loife an busted
tn bank. Ye may palaver till yure
head is whoite with tn shnoWS ~
NANNY WintherS about tn divinity ~
mon an tell how he shprang frum
tn divine headquarters but HenneSsy,
me boy III We want tn cleareSt case lV
gittin left We iver read about pin yure
Ialth to humin crayther an wake UP
some foIne mornin' to fOlnd tnot ye
hev' been buncoed an yure young god
Is nolgnballln down tn mann Iolne To
bate tn detectives to Mexico. Ol
wudn't thrust meSllf out iv me SOight
wan mint an me fellow citizens Is
worst thin vi am, " coorSe. livery
wan ivlus is mean enough to rroignteh
Ourselves in tn dark but our naybor5
is so much meaner thin We ar-re. Ol
nIver saw Il mon yit thot O1 thought
was as honIst as Dooley is. Ol 1n a
good mon, HennesSy. Oi niver klGed
a feIlowmon. Oi niver robbed tn
widders nor tn orphants. Oi niver
busted tn bank, fr reasons thot is
plain to me moind. Sometimes O1 am
SO good. Hennessy, me boy, mot VI
confidently eXpict TO grow pair ~
wings. Ii all tn rist lv me race was
as good as Oi am, HenneSSy,
they shud be FORCED to purchase lawn
mowers TO keep their wings clipped.
But look at Hooligan, tn lawyer.
Shure an don't he go round cultivat-
in throuble fr other payple on a
salary payable in twenties cash in ad-
vance Look at Clancy, tn merchant,
an don't he rob livery poor divil tnot
comes in his shtore? Look at tn
praycher thot shtudies all week on
now to meet tn grocer's bill an
prayches on Sunday iv tn Wolld joys
iv liyin' tn simple loife and plays tn
hypocrite be maxim us think he mas
pienty to ate whin he is ready fr IN
county home. An tn doctner, Hen
messy thot charges ye a hunerd fr
chopin out yure appindix whin we
ARE sufferin' frum lock-Jaw an
gives we nitro-glycerine f'r yure heart
whin it's a in-growin toe nail thot is a
hurtin ye-bad cess to him, Hennes-
sy Oi am a much betther mon thin
him. We ar-re all so much betther
thin our naybors thot it is wondh2c
we don't move off an git into a bet
ther community. There's Tom Dixon
goin' round lhere with bottled up
tornado a. rakin' over old sores an
hittin' tn Republican partly be-
chune tn Dyes an tn Industrial News
list gittin' shtarted. It's awful phat
men will do ain't it, me boy? AVN
Marion Butler wud turn moral
handspring FIR a million. an he is Il
model iv honesty. There is pa-apie IN
haythn. an haythin in North Caro-
lima maxim an idol iv money an
gittin' commercial livery day till honor
among thaves is gittin' rlgular rare
avis. Some pa-aple is readln Nv TN
prophecies an tn soigns iv tn tonnes
an they think thot tn end lv III
wurrld is at hand bacause there is SO
much corruption rampant. but, Hen
messy. shud tn end iv tn wurrld GIT
shtarted this way. an meet a n YORK
life inShoorance president, 1t Wud
soigh FIR other wurrlds to conquer an
burn tn wind tn other way. we
ar-re fallin' among evil days, Hennes-
sy, an tn divil is chairman iv tn
executive committee. TIL pure moind-
ed citizen groans an he asts IN "a
agony lV dlShpalr, u, pnaC VIII III
end iv it be?' an his partly DosS
up an he says, 'Shure an we viii
carry tn ward again. thots phat! If
it wasn't for tn women, HenneSSy, IN
wurrld wud foy oft at q tanSlnt an
go to Sheoul at Wanst. Oi reason
frum individuals to tn gineralitles.
Missis Dooley is me own law iv gra-
vitation an iv coorse her NANNY
sisthers is phat holds tn earth in It's
orbit. She makes me say me prayhers
livery noight SO tn children can say
whin there are grown up thot they
saw their fa-a-ther sindin' up suppl
cations for his measley ould hoide.
She makes me pay me bills an let me
naybor's money alone whole Sne
punkchoores his reputation with in
situations at tn Ladies' Aid Society.
Whin OF come home she puts me on
tn rack till OF confess thot Oh heard
O'Hara say thot his wolfe told him
thot Missis Hogan informed her cook
thot Misther and Missis Kahill he'd
family skeleton. but no wan he'd iver