Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1905-06-09
sToRlETTEs.

during the South African war, tho
censorship OF soldiers letters home
was very strict. One soldier, who
always sent An account OF the dcings
of the regiment, which account was
always blotted out by the censor, laid
a plan for revenge. At the fo:t Of
his next letter he wrote, "Leok under
the stamp" The censor did so, after
spending considerable time IN steam
ing the stamp from the envelope.
And he found these words: "Was 1t
hard to get OFF,"
j. w. Brooks, great railway man.
ager of Michigan, whose penmanship
was very poor, once wrote lette. to
man on the route notifying him that
he must remove barn which in some
manner incommoded the road, under
penalty of prosecution. The threat
ened individual was unable to read
any part of the letter but the sigma.
the road, and used it for two years on
the company's trains, none of the
conductors being able to dispute his
Interpretation of the document.
An excited Iondoner met a friend
outside public-house in Whitecharel
"These men in here" he exclaimed
furiously, pointing behind him. "have
gone and insulted me- Now, just
watch me go in and kick them all
into the street, one after another
You can count 'em off as they come
through the door, The friend stood
and watched. Presently human
form whizzed by him, and fell with a
cruel smack in the gutter. "One." he
called. stop counting, you fool"
cried the other, as he rose in anguish;
it's mel
A certain Massachusetts doctor who
lived among the Berkshire hills WIS
very fond of hunting. and at the same
time he was very slow in answering
the calls of his patients. One morn
ing he was aroused by a servant Of
one of his patients who lived at a
distance, and told to go and see him
right away. The doctor began to
prepare, but was as usual very slow.
After he went out to the buggy he
turned to so back into the house. He
thought he would be able to do some
hunting on the way after he had seen
the case. Reaching the door he turn
ed and asked te servant: 40 you
think I had better take my gun
along?" Gun? No! The man will be
dead enough at this rate before you
get there
There is pitiful story told in the
Bookman of Philip Rourke Marston,
the blind English writer. One day a
particularly good idea came to him,
and he sat down to his typewriter
with enthusiasm. He wrote rapidly
for hours, and Rad nearly finished
the story when a friend came in.
Read that" said Marston proudly,
"and tell me what you think Of it,"
The friend stared at the happy author
and then at the blank sheets of paper
in his hand before he was able to
understand the little tragedy. The
ribbon had been taken from the type
writer, and Marston's toll was for
He never had the heart to
write that story again.
The first conductor who played with
a large orchestra in New York was
Louis A. Julien. One of his pieces
was a "Fireman's Quadrille," during
the performance of which an alarm Of
fire was regularly sounded, and brig
ade of fremen appeared in the hall!
Theodore Thomas was one of Jullien's
violinists for time, and this may
help to explain why he himself in
1867, when he gave his Terrace Gar
den concerts, once created sensa-,
ton by making the piccolo players
climb up into the trees before the
piece began. On another occasion
the tuba player had been sent be-
hind the audience into the shrubbery.
When he began to play, the police
mistook him for practical joker who
was disturbing the music, and tried to I
arrest him. II shall never forget
he comical scene," Thomas writes in
his Autobiography" "as the poor man
led toward the stage, pursued by the
rate policeman, and trying to get in
/ note here and there as he ram