The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1905-04-01
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IA tue ceta1ls.-Life. -
Husband-You are always look,no
Tor bargains. Was there ever timo
When you wasn't a bargain hunted
Wlfe-Yes, dear; when married vou
| Scissors. =. =. go -
Mrs. Chatterson-It was sueh a
reiier 70 have my husband fail. Mrs.
Cnlpway-How so2 'oh, / was 80
AFRAID we would have to pay all those
bills."-Life. - 1850
| Cyril--You may spurn me- erueI one
put remember, ! shall not always be a
clerk at 20 week. Marie That's lust
the trouble. You may lose your Job at
any time.-Chicago News. 81
Parent (angriIy)-Those "school
shoes" l bought here foR my boy did
not last two weeks. Dealer with sur
pr1se)-He must have been wearing
them out Of school. Washington Life.
Teacher Gin spelling class)-Johnny,
spell fail" JOHNNY can't. Teach
er-You can't spell that simple word ?
Why not2 Johnny-'Cause YOU told
me there was no such word as fail
New Yorker.
Pansy (who enjoys having her moth.
er read to her)-Wead some more,
mamma. Mammal cannot, dear; nv
eyes are too tired. Pansy with fine
scorn)-But wead wiz 90 mouf. ma
New York Times.
Is your husband up YETI" inquired
the early morning caller. 81 guess he
L. replied the stern-loOking woman.
TIA like to say few words to him. :"
$50 would I. He hasn't come home
yet."--Catholic Standard.
Ernesttne-I don't see why your
chaperOn should have been offended
because Jack played the piano. 1t was
certainly better than tovemaking.
Moyrtilla--Yes, but he insisted upon
playing always in the Way."-Chi-
cago News.
Toni don't see you automobiling
with Miss Giddyun any more. Jack
No; weighed her in the balance and
found her wanting. Wanting
what? blackwell, wanting to face
the parson with me, for one thing
Chicago News.
Little Johnnie-When Miss. Nextdoor
got married, her mother thRew an old
slipper after her. What was that for?
Little Ethel-Oh, they always do that.
That means that her mamma isn't
never going to spank her any more
Smiths Weekly.
''This servant-girI problem will make
me old before my timer "BOthers you
too, does 1t2' Indeed it does. If
1 have an ugly maid my husband is
away all the time, and If have a
pretty one he is at home all the time,
and daren't go away; so there it Is"
Houston Post.
Mrs. Woodby-You don't mean to
say you paid my milliner's bill to day!
Mr.. Woodby-Of course. The bill
reached me yesterday, and I thought
the milliner might need the money.
So Mrs. Woodby-Simpleton! How
do you expect US to be considered real
swell If we pay our bills promptly p
Philadelphia Ledger.
Maude-Ddd you read that magazine
article in which a physician advocates
yawning as a means Of stopping the
disagreeable buzzing In ones ears?
Clara-Yes; and he is right, too.
tried it on young Borum the other
evening after he had talked continu-
ously for an hour or more, and he
took the hint and left-Chicago Daily
News.
The following notice was recently
found tackled on the door of church:
'"There will be preaching in this house
q week from next Wednesday, Provi-
dence permittin', and there will be
preaching whether or no on Monday
following upon the subject, He that
believeth and is baptized shall be
saved land he that believeth not shall
be damned at $50 in the afternoon I"
Clinton (Mo) Herald:
A travelling man who drove across
the country to little town in western
Kansas the other day met a farmer
hauling a wagon-load of water.
where do you get water?'' he asked.
"Up the road about seven miles," the
farmer replied. And you haul water
seven miles for your family and
stock?" yep" why in the name
of sense don't you dig a well?" asked
the traveller. Because 1t is just as
far one way as the other, stranger"
Denver Republican.
Mrs. Potts was filled with nervous
alarms whenever she Travelled, and Mr..
Potts always had his hands full in
trying to quiet and reassure her. cal
pernon," said Mrs. Potts, Weakening
her husband from a sound sleep in a
southern railway car. "Atgernon! /
want you to find out why we are going
at this fearful speed. The car is bump
ing and swaying till 1 can scarcely
see out of my eyes" Mr.. Potts sat up
and looked out of the window at the
moonlit landscape. 'See that bridge
ahead on the curve2" he asked, sleep
ilv. "Well, we have TO go over that in