The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-12-01
Her plain+;ua Mail

iIiS 10 w Will WsH pdDlcS any more.
We've got a mea. baby here now, and mar
takes UP all my time
Her Plaintive Wall.
From the Chicago Record-Hcrall.
4 bureau of Information has become l
necessity in every well-regulated railway
passenger ermina.l of Importance in our
large cities. The men who run them are
expected to answer any Old question with
extreme politeness and to do it as though
they liked the job. AS can readily be seen,
the men who run the bureaus must be par
agons of patience. Here is a sample OF
what the bureau men nave to contend
with:
Late one night the telephone bell In tho
little booth at the Northwestern's infor-
nation bureau ran nervously. The bu-
reau man was busy at the. window, but
finally excused himself to answer the inn
patient ring. rs this Main $685." came
the question over the phone in an excited
female voice.
ut is, madam was the reply, what
can 1 do for you?"
Its " wonder you wouldn't answer
four call when it IS given"
II answered the moment / was able,
madam. Can 1 do something for your"
Don't eel me yo.l answered right away.
I heard the girl ring your bell fit to wake
the dead"
ID e. \ SoSi lCeiS lCli lINs ia l. CGII SO
for YOU. MADAME" persisted the bureau
agent.
IF you can spare the time I'd like to
Know when the train leaves for Milwau-
keep"
There are no more trains for Milwau-
kee tonight. The first one in the MORN
Il thought there was a train late at
night. Are you sure you are telling me
right?"
w have a Milwaukee train at 1870.
madam"
: We'll. can't I catch it?'
Not very we'll. Tl1e 1870 left the depot
fifteen minutes ago. 1t is now HAS,"
"Well. can't nurry?" came 8, plaintiH
vail over the phone.
The Halloween Joke.
Professor George d. Heron, apropos 0,
Halloween, said:
I'm Montezima, In my childhood, a
crowd of us youngsters made a jacM-o'-
lantern to brighten a little city girl with On
Halloween.
'The little girl came from Indianapolis,
and she had never seen a jack-o'-lantern
before. Yet, when, on the lonely and
black road, the big round pumpkin, with
it's Illuminated and grinning face. appeared
before her suddenly, she was not at all
alarmed. She ran indoors and said:
Hush doT'. rake any noise; for the
man in tt C mcoa has just come down, and
he is sitting out tnere in the lane. He
hasn't any body. lie is nothing but head.
And he looks just like he does in the
pictures
Wal! Street Honesty.
John Alexander Dowie, before he set OF
for his Mexican oolony. talked about Wall
street honesty. III conclusion he said:
Yes, my friend, the honesty Of these
fnanciers reminds me of that of the
tramp WHO found q purse.
Two tramps entered a railroad station
to get a drink of ice water, and one OF
them, seeing a richly dressed woman drop
iler pocnetbook, picked it up and returned
it to her.
His companion was enraged and
shocked. p
Don't you know better he cried, than
to give back a purse like that? Why didn't
you keep 1T for yourself, you dolt2'
".Ah, john said the other, honesty is
the best policy when a policeman is lookin',
and, besides. there was nothin' in the
purse"
Right Out Of His Mouth.
Miss May and Miss Evelyn Fisk, the
daughters OF Harvey Fisk, nave estab-
lished a tine dairy farm in New Jersey. OF
these enterprisinE young ladies q Trenton
woman said the ctl:ar day:
81 am surprised that they should have
taken up dairy farming, They are always
doing original things. They arc very
capable parsons.
s.The older Misa Fisk participated IN
some anna teur ii, natr:cals that we had in
Trenton sbme Gears ago. She was unable
to rehearte much. She knew her part
rather badly. Ard yet she did we'll. She
was. you see, so clever.
But tht young man who played Rod
erick said to Ter at the end of the per-
Torrance:
badly, didn't your
why, l thought I got ON %famously,'
Miss Fisk answered.
: But said Roderick, what on earth
Induced you to speak my lines In the third
act? The best lines ! had, too!
We'll, O sex, I had forgotten my
own said Miss Fisk. 4 had to say some
hing"
She pisn't Have 1t.
3at-a-ta, tat!
The old soldier ytood on the doorstep and
listened.
washing say" he muttered. no luck
here. that's pretty sure"
I expect it's only another bothering
beggar-drlt ami" lauttered the sharp
faced woInsn within. a she hastily
snatched her hands from the steaming
WashtuD and marked grimly forward to
meet h base disturtcr of washing-day's
ancient rites n ceremonies.
II ye please. num- muttcrel the an
stent hero. I've lost my leg--''
S. assWe0l. I amt GOT ft!"";snapped the wona-
an fercely.
And the door closed with an awful bans.
Wilhelm Raabs. the Ger2an noveltst.
in 1854, wrote that the time would eot1D
WREN there wouldehe nm england Of
the Pacific oesasA." Hle R5ersnee WA