Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1905-02-18
AFTER THE
MEETING q 8
By H. F. TOPPING. JR.

| II THERE Is a word in the English
language that will blanch the rose
tinted cheek of a woman. it is CLUB"
The monOsyllable often instantaneous
ly throws her from 90 degrees in the
shade down to zero. And sometimes
the social club will call into use the
club of some hard wood of ponderous
weight and massive proportions.
The instruments OF physical chastise-
ment are not, as yet, used in the Per-
kins family, but the dark shadow OF
future difficulties hangs over the eS-
adjustment. Mr.. Perkins has lately
become member Of the Independent
Order of Midnight Misogamists. The
night of his initiation he celebrated the
occasion by being good fellow" at
the club. On that night his memory
could recall incidents which happened
up to nine O'Clock. but from that time
until the next morning all was blank.
Mrs. Perkins led her husband to the
table. and much against his will re-
counted his adventures from the hall
door to the bed. 1t was with the most
strenuous efforts that Mr.. Perkins kept
awake, but he bore II like a martyr.
Il will endeavor. Mr. Perkins" said
Mvs. P. "tc 7trate ver',-''-- .he beast
ly condition you were in last night
or at an early hour this morning.
''I'd rather you would not. Alvira,"
groaned the Midnight Misogamist.
But l shall. Mr.. Perkins, and hope
that it will strike deep into your con-
science. Perhaps my recital of your
disgraceful conduct will prove a moral
lesson"
We'll, hurry up. my DEAR" yawned
Perkins
Mrs. Perkins Strengthened herself
and gazed reproachfully upon her lord
and master.
"Itwas past midnight, Nicodemus Per-
hns," she said. Il sat waiting to hear
your well-known tread through thehau.
| thought that business had detained
you from home, and was signing for
the hard and toilsome life YOU lead.
when l heard a squeaky and irregular
voice in the street, family striving to
pronounce my name. l looked out of
the window in alarm. thinking that you
lay wounded on the sidewalk, but you
stood at the door trying to open it with
your umbrella ndnule.
Nicodemus Perkins, I gasped. lis it
your
"'Yesh, Vi-a,' you replied. come
down an let a f'ler in. Night key froze
in the lock, and can't sit 'er out
1T was mild weather Mr. Perkins.
and your broken dialect and excuse for
not being able to open the door, con-
With faltering steps | descended the
stairs and opened the door was
greeted with the sitting fumes Of LIQUOR
and yourself in a deplorable state. You
rushed into my arms. with the dis
graceful words of Perky. ole f'ler waz
ger mazzer wiz you?' | understood
Perky as an abbreviation of Perkins.
vulgarly invented in your condition.
AS dragged you through the hall, you
would persist in shaking hands with the
hatrack; and you. who have until now
supported an untarnished dignity. re-
peatedly vociferated: Whoa. Emmai'
and a rowdyish, swaggerly: What der
yer say?'"
"Alvira, my love, am heartily
ashamed of myself"
'You ought to be. Mr.. Perkins al
though you do not appear such. sitting
there noddiug while | am talking. At
tention, Nicodemus Perkinsi There,
| never expected to see you in such
condition as last night I would not
have believed it of you. Nicodemus. So
you have Joined a club. have you? and
are misogomist, and a midnisht one
too. Has your love cooled so soon
Nicodemus? If you continue a mis-
ogamist, you will hereafter sleep
alone"
Il love you dearly. Alvira." said Per
kins, desperately.
mo you DON'T" snapped his wife:
you're a misogamist!"
''Ha, ha:" feebly laughed Perkins
I'VE do not mean it. Alvira. love; it is
simply a joke"
"a joke Nicodemus? Didn't Won fell
me last night, while | was helping Won
up the stairs, that you were a anti
woman rooster?' And did you not hint
at divorce? Lamentable. Mr.. Perkins
lamentable! Is this club Organized
for the purpose of enticing men from
their loving wives. and carousine
through the streets after midnight"
Il was initiated Alvira."
II should think you were initiated
fear. NicC6o r"e y was 2 h 49,, 'hto fore
- - .~--.s.s