West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1905-05-04

s"auO" oi thS monument ana pam
fully siuge1 comrade Lee Shaw $
whiskers. In time of peace / am a
brave man, but when a volcanic ex-
plosion is scheduled TO take place
at certain hour must confess that
my first duty is TO remain close to
Gov. Dawson and protect the new
tax laws. This may be called COW
ardice by those who have never tast-
ed political pie, but with me il is a
case of holding fast to all get.
Gov. Dawson tells me this has
always been his rule to never sur
render one piece lntil he has pos
session Of another. 1t is a safe rule
and one which propose to follow.
The latest news we have received
from Preston by the wireless tele
graphY is that Bro. Whetsell, Of the
Family Journal, and Bro. Shaw, Of
the Peoples Leader, gave a magniii-
cant exhibition of the weeping of
Absalom, my son, my son, in the
Terra Alta convention. 1t is said
to have been awe inspiring as the
brethren wept over one anothers
necks, as old Absalom is said to have
done IN years gone by. The report
states that the convention became
so enthusiastic over the weeping of
Bros. Whetsell and Shaw that they
forgot all about the new tax laws
and old speck and the delegates re-
solved themselves into a love feast
and were carried forward by the
momentum of their Joy until every
delegate present declared that the
New Jerusalem did not possess more
happiness than the Terra Alta con
ventlon. The report goes on to say
that the delegates grew so brotherly
in their affections that Bro. Henry
Glover, who has held the -ank of
Chief of the Tomahawk Tribe, sug-
gested that Bro. Jim Flynn lead
them in prayer, suggestion which
was quickly adopted by the dele
gates. The praying of Bro. Flynn
is said to have been most solemn,
emanating as it did from the heart
of one, who up to this happy oc-
casion, had been the foremost lead
er of the Tribe of Decapitation.
Many and loud were the amens
which fell from the lips of the dele
gates assembled as Bro. Flynn APP
pealed to them to bury their hatch
cts and harmonic on the et-pie-
quick plan. In unctuous prayer he
told them as Bro. Lakin had been
the Moses who had led them into
the House of Harmony, that they
were in duty bound to place him in
the halls of Congress as their Big
Giant. Little Giants had failed to
discover the House of Harmony
and lead them in. The closing
hours of the convention have been
reported to US as being as grand as
the landing of the Pilgrim Fathers.
Every one was in prayer and weep
ing from joyl A great number of
the delegates, who had not come
under the influence of prayer since
they joined the army of piemen,
wept bitterly when Bro. FLYNN called
them TO repentance for their past
SINS. He reminded them how the
House of Pie had been divided
against itself for years, and pointed
out to them how the piemen Of
other counties had been benefited
by their acts of reaching for the
windpipes Of the opposite tribe.
He told them in the most prayefful
manner that this would cease from
this day henceforih and that here
after hey would all put their
shoulder to the pie wagon and shove
It along as il was a good thing and
would insure harmony among the
piemen.
Now you people back in Preston
imagine, if you can, how this good
news was received by Gov. Dawson
and myself I have the reputation
among the journalistic guild Of be-
ing a word painter and manufac.
turer of words when the dictionaries
cannot produce them, but upon this
particular occasion / am at loss
utterly to find the words in the
dictionaries or manufacture them
to convey TO our people back in
Preston h ow joyfully.joyous-joy
Gov. Dawson and myself we're when
the report reached us that the PEE
men Of the Bsnnor County had
harmonizedl We have spent many
months in solitude and alone pray
ing for this consummation. We
feel that our prayer has been heard
by the Father Of all piemeu. Here
after our task will be much easier
in promulgating our new tax laws
and fighting the corporations. who