The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-10-22
CURATE AND THE CHINAMAN.
Only Religion Oriental Understood
Was Very Human.
lkansas Citv Journall

used to think when I was student "
SAID the curate, that 1 felt the call TO
go east and convert the Celestials. My
lad even then was comparative religion.
and | got the idea that a people who
developed Confucianism and Taoism were
worth saving. That was the way / put
II then. Naturally. as 1 passed a China
man in the street, or noticed a Chinese
laundry, / wondered what the creed Of
the ordinary Chinaman, the poor coolie
might be. One day an inspiration struck
me. ! said 10 myself:
Why don you ask ore of our laun-
drymen: They're Just the class that
the muiti-miiiions in China are made LD
OF, and he'll be just as likely 10 know
a. any one would.
There was a Chinese laundry just
around the corner from my boarding
house, so ! resolved TO take my collars
there a few times and pave the way 10
an acquaintance. At first we exchanged
only few words about the weather and
prices and dates OF doneness. At last |
thought we were on good enough terms
and / plunged into the great subject
First, used my best English and tried
a few general questions about religious
convictions in China. The only answer
! got was broad grins in Chinese. Then
l fell into the queer idea that the more
asinine my English the more nearly it
approached Monaghan. When | tried a
sort of pigeon dialect on him the laun-
dryman looked foolish IN reply, but stuck
10 looks or TO the easy answer:
e" No undlestan'r
Then 1 thought my opening lay in the
proper names. / knew, or thought /
knew, the names of all the founders of
Chinese sects. These, | argued, must
so with proper impressiveness / uttered
solemnly;
'Buddha"
THE Chinman only stared.
Then, pointing my finger straight az
him. / went through them all 'BuddhaE
'COnfuciusn 'MenicusH ! ao-tSe.
Al Sin began TO look scared about this
stage of the conversation. He kept a
hot iron firmly grasped in his right hand
and backed around the ironing board.
Then I remembered, fool that was;
that I was giving the names rs adapted
to European tongues by the Jesuit mis-
sionaries. l mentally rebuked myself. and
tried again with the original Chinese
mOnosyllables as ] conceived them.
stood in front of the Chln9man ana
jerked out 'Kung-fu-tse" Meng-tse"
'LaO-tse,'
The Chinaman now evidently began to
think of police protection. He looked anX-
iously at the door. but when l CALCULATED
again Kung-fu' he tapped his forehead
and muttered: -,
''.Ah, YES. kung-foos. see; llung- f0os"
clearly indicating that he had mistaken
notion as to my mental conolt4li' put
AT last 1 cried out in despair; Bu6
have you no religion at all? No church
No Sunday school,
Then a light broke upon him. Al the
words SUNDAY school All gu Ad1C ~
came irradiated. He gurgled softly:
d" 'Slun-skul. New-Yawk; Seng Be
FIomeo; pletty gal tleacha Slun-skui
pletty gall me come!
las last ] had discovered the Celestial
religion which like that of the rest or
the world, is apt, sure enough, 10 have
too much pretty girl in il. Every time
An Sin saw me for many months AFTER
he always pointed TO his forehead and
muttered
" 'Kung- foos" ="