The Palatka news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1905-10-13
HOW TO TREAT GOSSIP.
Some Suggestions from Old
John Graham Of the Stock
Yards,


to listen to it, and the other is not to
repeat it. Then there's young Buck
Pndden's wife's way, and that's bet
ter than either when you're dealing
with some of these old heifers who
browse over the range ali day, stuff
fing themselves with gossip about
your friends, and then round up at
your house to chew the cud and slOb-
Der fake sympathy over you.
Buck wasn't a bad fellow at heart,
for be had the virtue of trying to be
good, but occasionally he would
walk in slippery places. Wasn't
very sure-footed. SO he fell down
pretty often, and wheE he fell from
grace it usually cracked the ice.
Still, as he used to say when he snOt
at the bar mirrors during one of his
periods of temporary elevation, he
paid for what he broke-cash for the
mirrors and sweat and blood for his
cussedness.
Then one day Buck met the only
woman in the worlds mighty nice
girl from st. Jo-amd she was hesita-
ting over falling in love with him,
till the gOssips called to tell her that
be was dear, lovely fellow, and
wasn't it too bad that he had such
hOrrid habits. That settled it, of
course, and she married him inside
of thirty days, so that she could get
right down to the business OF REFORM
ing him.
/ don't as usual thing, take much
stock in this marrying men to reform
them, because mans always sure
Of a woman when he's married to
her. while a woman's never really
afraid OF losing man till she's got
| him. When you want to teach a dog
new tricks it's all right to show him
the biscuit first, but you'll usually
I get better results by giving it to him
after the performance. But Buck s
wife fooled the whole town and al
most put the gOssips out of business
/ by keeping Buck straight for a year.
| She allowed that what he'd been
craving all the time was home and
| family and that his rare-ups came
from not having 'em. Then, like
most refOrmeIs, she Overdid it.: went
and had twins. Buck thought lie
owned the town, of course, and that
| hadn't included the saloons among
his real estate Had to take his
drinks in pairs, too, and naturally,
when he went home that night and
had another look at the new arrivals
he thought they were bankruptcies.
Buck Strengthened right out the
next day, went to his wife and told
her all about it, and that was the
last time he ever had to hang his
head when he talked to her, for he
never took another drink. You see,
she didn't reproach him, or nag him
simply said she was mighty proud
of the way he'd held on for a year,
and that she knew she could trust
him now for another ten. Man was
made little lower than the angels,
the Good Book says, and / reckon
that's right, but he was made good
while ago, and he hasn't kept very
wei; but there are heap OF women
I in this world who are still right in
the seraphim class
Naturally, the story of Bucks final
celebration came to the gossips like
thousand-barrel gusher to drill
ing outfit that's been finding busters,
and they went one at a time to see
Mrs. Buck and to tell her all the
dreadful details and how sorry they
were for her Mrs. Buck would Just
sit AID listen till they'd run off the
story. and hemstitched it, and en-
brOidered it, and stuck fancy rosetteS
all over it. Then she'd smile one OF
those sweet baby smiles that women
give just before the hair-pulling be
gins, and say:
Law, Mrs. Shackleford"-th
deacon's wife was the one who was
cOndolimg with her at the moment
"people will talk about the best OF
us. Seems as if no one was safe
nowadays. Why, they lie about the
deacon even. / know it amt true
and you know it amt true, but only
yesterday somebody was trying tC
tell me that it was right strange how
professor and a deacon got thai
color in his beak, and while it might
be infiamatOry veins or whatever he
claimed it was, she reckoned that il
he'd let some one else tend the alec
mol barrel he wouldn't have to charge
up so much of his stock to leakage
and evaporation.
OF course, Mrs. Buck had made III
the story about the deacon, because
every one knew that he was too NEAR
to drink anything that he could sell
but by the time Bucks wife had fin
ished Mrs. ShacklefOrd was so busy
explaining and defending him tina
she hadn't any further interest il
Bucks case. And each one tina
called was sent away with specia
piece of home scandal which Mrs
Buck had invented to keep her minc
from dwelling on her neighDOr'.
troubles.
She followed up her system, too
and in the end itgOt so that womer
would waste good gossip before
| they'd 20 to her with it. For if the
pastors wife would tell her "as 1
true friend that the report that she
, had gone to the theatre in st. Loui!
was causing a scandal she'd thanh
her for being so sweetly thoughtful
and ask if nothing was sacred enough
to be spared by the tongue of Sian
der, though she, for one, didn't be
: lieve that there was anything in thu
) malicious talk that the DOG. wal
cribbing those powerful Sunday eve
, ming discourses from a volume o
Beecher's sermons. And wher
they'd press her for the name of he
informant she'd say: mo, it was /;
lie; 'she knew it was a lie; and M
one who sat under the dear paste
would believe it; and they muslin
dignity it by noticing ii" As a mat
ter of fact, no one who sat undo
Doc. Pottle would have believed it
for his sermons weren't good enough
| to have been cribbed; and If Beeche
/ could have heard one of them h
would have accommodated him.
Bucks wife knew how t
show goods. When Buck himsel
: had used up all the cuss words il
Missouri ON bis conduct she hal