New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-03-22

And if you have a conscience hard
And ripe for all emprise.
OF fame an extra size.
Just drop tear or two for shame
And straightway then express the Same
In rotten dialect!
AS to your style: Be sure that it's
A trope or other play of wits
and last an and i gravest thing of all
ID, Don't let your your muse use eayort u
And cut it very short!
Then will your name on many lips
on walls ais viii pasted be the Slips
At That f6, hold I each m9T1 bat Pi eoD,n no
Is crazy lacking pith
The fool, he can't compare nohow
-CNew-Orleans Times-Democrat
IF you wish to be up to date you must get in the
habit of using the slang says a West
ern commercial man. In 1.-THE Buffalo Commercial"
when you in hurry TO get from place you
must say you are doing Kuropatkin.' If you are
speaking OF how prizehghter landed blow on
the solar plexus you must say he put over a Ku-
rok' If you have been selling lot of goods and
things have been coming your way you must say
that you have had Oyama of a time If you
get tied up with a bore, who won't let you go. you
must say he Port Arthured you That is the
way it goes. You must fix 1t up for yourself and
keep up with the events"
THE OTHER FELLOW.
Some other mani We mon and toll
To get a raise Of salary a4!,,-. -
And lives in idle luxury;
We aid candidate, and he
Then, just to please his family.
He gives it to some other mani
Some other man! We bake and brof,
Under a burning sum- to free
Ourselves from digging from the soil
Our daily share OF perjury;
And then-just think see
Goes tumbling into bits, and
Again yield to some other mani
Some other man! He seems to spoil
Our, Our purpose with flendish glee-
And he plays quite dishonesty!
That love of ours-we think that she
The rest-to-morrow she will flee
From US, and wed some other mani
L'Envoi
Fate! Just one question pray agree
To answer: In my short life's span
When will you give good things to me-
And double-cross some other mann
cleveland Leader
Mayor Weaver of Philadelphia tells a story OF a
friend whose stoutness and constant good humor
his chief distinctions. 1--WE happened to be
talking the subject of gastronomy" said the
Mayor. land somehow my friends tremendous
gtrth prompted me to ask him IL he followed any
set rules to guide him in his eating. I have lust
one rule he replied. and it's a winner. When I
sit down to eat I sit six inches or SO from the
table and when touch I'm DONE"
A suggestion.-'I wish I could find some one who
would tell me the absolute truth about my govern
ment." said the Car platntively.
Your majesty find a number OF such peo-
pie, answered the sardonic official, by going to
Siberia. '-(Washinston Star.
THE London Outlook" in a learned review OF an
American novel, says THE Times" "a newspaper
figuring in the story 1.-THE London Times"
but apparently The Times of st. Louis for the
scene of the novel is laid in Kentucky
Observation-Disclosures Pastor-Ah! no. nv
dear young lady il is not lip service that pleas
ing TO heaven.
The Dear Young Lady (coyly)-weu. I took in
$50 at a dollar a kiss at the church fair.-C2itts-
burg Dispatch.
very curious old custom is associated with in
terments in the cemetery of Labruck Connemara
ireland. A box Of pipes-short clays-is brought
with the coffin, and pipe with tobacco Is served
out to each mourner. The pipes are smoked In
silence after the earth has been filled in and a
mound of stones raised above the grass; the ashes
soemnly knocked out the top and the pipes
broken or left behind The origin of this custom
is unknown, but 1t is thought TO be embIematic of
"ashes to ashes dust to dust" Empty black bottles
are also to be found scattered about the Site
LENT
Now again We welcome Lent
With ope1l arms and wide;
The South Dakota OF the soul
Where forty days bde.
Divorces from baser selves
In record time we gain;
For Lawyer Conscience charges high
So Fashion We retain.
At last, from fault and folly free.
We all emerge. and then
Go forth to wed again.
-lHr00klyn Liza.