davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1905-12-22

s'Old Gayehap is in his second child
hood isn't he?"
No; that wouldn't be so bad He's in
the second widoWerhood and looking for
No. 8. 3.'-Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-12-22

Smith-Life is very uncertain.
Jones-So is life nsurance.-Woman s
Home Companion.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-12-22

Norah-You take Tom out in your auto
every day, don't yOu2 He appears to be
a necessary fixture in the machine.
Cora-He is He's an automatic speak
er.-CIeveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-12-22

George. I have one very disagreeabIe
habit. I walk in my sleep"
"Oh, that's all right I was afraid you
were going to say you talked. .''-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer
The Topeka state journal., 1905-12-22

snort.
.'I'm sick" he said, "of these stories
about the ousted sons or the disobedient
daughters who always return home for
grand reconciliation scene with the old
folks on Thanksgiving day"
why, how hardhearted you are. Don't
such scenes affect you?"
Not as I'd like them to. I'd be more
deeply affected if the prodigals would
select a day for their return when they
weren't so sure they'd be turkey and
cranberry sauce and mince pie fer On
ner.'-Los Angeles Times.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-12-22

Ferry-Flies and mosquitoes are hardy
things. aren't they2
Richmond-What makes you think so2
Ferry-Vhy, they hear all people say to
them. and you never heard of one being
talked to death.-Y onkers Statesman.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-12-22

Sunday School Teacher 6reprovingly)-
George, do you know where little boys
go TO when they don't come to Sunday
school?
The Topeka state journal., 1905-12-22

Art, said the n1oraiizer, 'can never
successfully initiate nature"
"Ohl I don't know" rejoined the de-
moralizer, how about artificial ice?''-
Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-12-22
Plain Talk That Had Eject.

A few years ago there lived in
Lowell an eccentric minister named
Neale, who was famous for his plain
talking. On one occasion he was
preaching missionary sermons at a
village so noted for its small collec-
tions that he determined to pass the
plate himself.
On his round he came to farmer
who was, as Mr.. Neale well knew, the
richest man in the place. This indi-
vidual placed a nickel on the plate.
Mr.. Neale stopped Immediately and
said in a loud voice: Take your nickel
out. man; take it outi Don't you see
you've covered up your laborer's
dime %
The rebuke was effectual and a
much more valuable coin was placed
on the plate-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-12-22

Young Wife-What's the trouble? Why
do you sit on the edge of the chair?
Husband-WeH dear, you know we are
buying it on the installment plan, and
that's all I feel entitled to.-Brooklyn
The Topeka state journal., 1905-12-22

rs it customary to tip the waiter in
this place2'
'Why-al1-yes, sir
Then hand me tip. I've waited three
quarters of an hour for that steak or
dered. cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-12-22

down to the river behind that big syca-
more-but don't you go; it's only for men.
Printers Ink.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-12-22

Elsie-So you consider him misleading
and disappointing? Why?
Edie-Well, he had me on tender-hooks
last night in expectation that he was go
ing to ask me to go to the theater.
Elsie-And didn't hep
Edie-No; he only asked me to marry
him.-Tit-Bits.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-12-22

''Lookee here, young feller" said Dea-
con kOrntop,- you bin a-makin' up to
our Berthy for some time"
Yes. sir replied the bashfuI young
farmer.
''WaaI. want to know ef you're goinI
to marry her?'
Gosh. so do I; but I Jest hain't got
the gumption to ask her." Philadelphia
Ledger.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-12-22

Tess-Yes, I wish all men were bache1-
ors-
ried them
Tess-Oh I don't mean permanently,
but just long enough to learn to sew on
buttons and mend their cIothes.-PhiIa-
delphia Press.
The Topeka state journal., 1905-12-22

Lawson-What did your wife say to YOU
when you got home last night?
DawsOn-Sayl She SAID an eighteen-voI-
unne yclopedia.-Somerville Journal.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-05-12
Why Suffer From rheumatism?

Why suffer from rheumatism when
one application of Chamberlain's
Pain Balm will relieve the pain? The
quick relief which this Imminent af.
fords makes rest and sleep possible,
and hat alone is worth many times
its cost. Many who have used il hop
ing only for a short relief from suffer
ing have been happily surprised to
find that after awhile the relief be
came permanent. Mrs. v. H. Leggett,
of Yum Yum, Tennessee, U. S. A.,
writes: Il am a great sufferer from
rheumatism, all over from head to
foot. and Chamberlain's Pain Balm
is the only thing that will relieve the
pain" For sale by all dealers.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-05-12
A eood Suggestion.

Mr.. C. B. wainwright, of Lemon CT.
ty, Fla, has written the manufactu-
rers that much better results are OBJ
tanned from the s of ChamberIain's
Collie. Cholera and Diarrhoae Remedy
in cases of pains in the stomach, COL
lie and cholera morbus by taking it
in water rs hot as can be frank. That
when taken this way the effect is
double I'm rapidity. at seems to get
at the right spot instantly" he says.
For sale by all dealers.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-05-12
FOR RENT.

FOR RENT.-Six room house, furn-
ished or unfinished. Record office.
FOR RENT.-Three rooms, furnished
for light house keeping. 215 w.
Third street. $500 SLIPS
FOR NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. six room
house, shade, grass, newly papered
etc. 902 North Main st. Inquire at
719 N. Main. 59tf
FOR RENT.-Two nice furnished
rooms at POI N. Penn ave. Gentle
men preferred. Invalids need not
apply.-Mrs. J. B. Mathews. 53tf
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-05-12
How to Ward Off Old Age.

The most successful way of ward
maintain a vigorous digestion. This
can be done by eating only o suit
ed to your age and occupation, and
when any disorder of the stomach ap-
pears take a dose of Chamber!ain's
Stomach and Liver Tablets to cor
rect it. If you have a weak stomach
or are troubled with indigestion, you
will find these Tablets to be just
what you need. For sale by all deal
ers.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-05-12
Classified "Ad5.'
FOR SALE.

FOR sALE.-Lady's ticket 10 town
in Missouri. Record office. 50t3*
FOR sALE-Choice baled alfalfa;
stove or cord wood. F. d.
Stock Farm. 53tf.
FOR SALE.-At a bargain, No. Z
Blickensderfer typewriter and a let
ter press, at Record office. 56t6
PRESS FOR sALE-The Record Of
fee has for sale one Cranston
press, seven column folio. Is in
good order and will be sold at a
bargain. tt
FOR SALE-The Record has for sale
cheap. 4 rolls of 31-inch Manila
wrapping paper. 2 rolls of 6-inch
pink, and one roll of Pinch Mani
la. This is a bargain. If
FOR SALE-Mason house furnish
ings. Hotel in good standing. has a
fine trade. Reason for selling, health
demands removal to far n. Apply
A. NJ. Mason, Hagerman. 53rf
For Sale Cheap, or exchange for irri-
gable lands, two complete, deep
well drilling outfits with engine and
boilers. Address with full particu-
lars Bargain" this Office.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-05-12
APPEAL TO SUPREME COURT.
Rosario Emilio is Taken to Santa Fe
for Safe keeping.-Denver Paper
Says Hanging is Set June Fl.

for Safe keeping.-Denver Paper
Says Hanging is Set June Fl.
A dispatch to a Denver paper states
that Rosario Emilio, the young Ital-
ian who was convicted of the murder
of Antonio Carilla, a young Mexican
woman. has been moved from the Jail
at Lincoln to the penitentiary at San
ia Fe for s~afe-keeping. 1t further
states that after his motion for a
new trial had been overruled by
Judge Mann, his attorneys appealed
his case to the supreme court. 1t Will
be remembered that Emilio was sem
fenced to be hanged. The report came
here that he was to be hanged on
Friday, June 2, but the Denver paper
stated that h day set for the execu-
tion was June 81, which comes on
Wednesday.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-05-12
9 8 g 9 9 g g g g 6 g g
g IN THE SOCIAL WORLD. g
g g g g g 9 g g g g g 9 3 g g e

The Daughters of Rebekah held a
very pleasant session Tuesday night.
1t vas the regular evening for a
meeting. being held in the 1. o. o. F.
rooms, and the attendance was good.
AT the conclusion of the regular lodge
work nice refreshments of ice cream
and cake vera served.
The meeting of the Independent
Club yesterday afternoon with Mrs.
A. d. Cowell, at her home on North
Hill. was a very pleasant affair. Her
home was tastefully decorated for
the occasion in the Club colors. pink
and green, and every provision was
made to afford the guests a good
time. No only were the members of
the club present, but also were the
members Of the Eastern Star who
have not yet Joined the Club. The af.
ternoon was pleasantly spent. music
by the Cecilian being one of the fea-
lures. The hostess served a nice lun.
cheon of ice cream, Strawberries and
cake. Those present were: Mesdames
Atkinson. Alberts, Burney, Barnett.
Cowell. Cottingham, Estes, Foreman,
Dilley, Howell, Gee, Miller, McCol
lum. Morrison, Mathews, Mathewson.
Martin. White. Kinsinger ana Pars-
ons.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-05-12
IS ROOSEVELT A REPusLlcAN9

From Denver Daily News.
It is a question whether the man
to whom Denver gave it's warmest
welcome and heartiest Godspeed yes
terday is more of a Republican than
a Democrat. His intellectual devel-
opment is not yet complete. In such
a. mind as his the tremendous expe-
riences through which he is passing
cannot but have a powerful effect.
Mr.. Roosevelt is not much older Than
Mr.. Gladstone was when he abandon
ed the conservative political faith in
which he had been trained and joined
his fortunes to those of the Liberal
party The change in MIR. Gladstone
was gradual, not instantaneous. 1t
first showed itself in his fight against
the parliamentary disabilities under
which the Jews labored, in his earn
est sympathy with oppressed peoples
everywhere who were struggling for
freedom. in his support of Sir Robert
Peel's free trade measures and in his
objections to the long established me-
thods of Great Britain in dealing with
her coleman possessions. Mr.. Glad
stone grew more and more apart
from his party until he stood out ms
the great leader of the Liberals Inc
became an object of little less than
e~xecration to the extreme conserva-
tives.
The personal policies of Mr.. Roose-
velt-and they are the policies which.
in the main, control his course-show
curious contradictions. He has seem
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-05-12
Growing Aenes and Pains.

Mrs. Josie Sumner. Bremond, Tex.
writes. April IS, 1902: 81 have used
Billiards. Snow Linfment in my fam
lily for three years. | would not be
without it in the house. I have used
it on my little girl for growing pains
and aches in her knees. It cured her
right away l also have used it for
frost bitten feet. with good success
It is the best liniment ever used
ESQ. soc and s1.oo.-Pecos Valley
Drug Co.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-05-12
WANTED.

WANTED.-A second hand buggy
n harness. Call at 5O7 N. Mo.
Ave. IF
WANTED.-Men to work on Hondo
reservoir. Wages. $1.75 per day.
Board $3.50 per week.4Slinkard's
camp. loft
Misunderstanding young man. A
good proposition. Call at Singer
Sewing Machine Co., 1O4 e. Second
59t3*
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-05-12
FOR SALE OR TRADE.

For Sale or Trade.-Su. Louis we'll
drilling machine, with six horse
power portable gasoline engine. All
complete and in good running or
der. Apply to G. d. Stewart, 70S
Penn. ave. 56tf
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-05-12

ed to be as welded to the doctrine
of Imperialism and colonial expansion
as the worst of those who see in the
colonies" an opportunity for money
making and to whom there is no sig
nificance in the declaration that gov
ernments rest upon the consent of
the governed"
But in some other and some very
important respects Mr.. Roosevelt has
grown far apart from his party, and
it is a question now whether he will
be able to draw the party to him or
must leave it for nothe party which
is more in harmony with his hopes
and purposes. Mr.. Roosevelt belongs
to a family which has long been Dem
o~cratic, and the elder branch of it
is still allied with the Democratic
party. but we doubt if the head of
that branch is as close to true Democ
racy in many things as Theodore
Roosevelt is today.
The doctrine of irrigation for the
lands of the semi-arid West was a
cardinal plank of Democratic plat
forms long before the Republican par
ty took it up. and they were Demo-
Gratis who provided the bulk Of the
majority for the original irrigation
measure. But the necessities of poll
tics and the leadership of Mr.. Roose-
welt have forced the Republican org
a~nization to adopt the doctrine, and
by the government and remain a Re
publican.
The regulation of the trusts and
government supervision and regula-
ton of railway rates are the points
on which the President now is most
at odds with the controlling inf1uen-
ces in his party. From HI trusts and
the great railways the party derives
the immense campaign funds in which
it l~uxuriates. But no prophet is need
ed to point out that if Mr.. Roosevelt
sincerely follows along the lines he
has urged in speeches and messages,
either the controlling influences in
his party must change or he must get
out of it.
Upon the struggle which will deter
mine this momentous question he is
about to enter. AT its conclusion he
will have carried the party with him,
or he will have been compelled to
leave it. or he will have surrendered
the purposes which he now cherisnes.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-05-12

All advertisements to insure inser-
item I'm the same days issue OF n
Record should be In the printers
hands before eleven 'cloc In the
morning. Orders for taking out any
standing ad. should also be in the o.
fee by eleven o'clock to prevent its
being run that day.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1905-05-12

White Pine Screen Doors in the
white. This is the lightest and best
screen door on the market.-KEMP
LUMBER COMPANY, East Fourth
street. 35tf.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1905-03-04
The snoIled Little American.

Complaints have been made In
various hotels, both in Great Britain
and on the continent, of the American
child. who pervades the entire estab-
lishment, bores the visitors, inter-
rupts the conversation at table, orders
the walters about and generally con-
ducts itself In such fashion as to fill
the innocent bystander with an In
tense longing to take 1t out and give
1t a good, sound. nursery spanking"
writes an Englishman. 1T is perfect
ly monstrous that these ill-behaved.
unchildlike children should be allow
ed to render the visits of other people
In hotels intolerable. and II hotel pro-
prietors have not the sense to make
rules for themselves about children
they will have to be taught severe
lesson. The English and French
child is not suffered to become a
nuisance to grown-ups and why, then,
should the tiresome. spoiled little
American be allowed to do so?"
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1905-03-04
Bicycle RidInn ParlIa.

In Strasburg, Germany. a liveried
servant riding a bicycle neglected to
salute young army officer whom he
passed. On being reprimanded by
the officer he tried to explain the diff
ference between servants livery and
a soldiers uniform ana was promptly
arrested. 1t was moreover explained
to him that his conduct had entitled
the officer to run sword through
him." About one German in Ave
wears livery Of some sort and there
are probably many who cannot ride a
bicycle, carry parcels and salute at
the same time. Bicycle riding has an
additional peril in Strasburg.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1905-03-04
Strange story Of a $50 Bill.

County Judge w. ii. rrewitt has In
his possession s1U Dill wnlcn mas
connected wlln 1t paluelv story Va
our civil war. While gathering to-
gether and arranging -1is persona ef-
Iects, in company with several friends
on Tuesday, he pulled from an old box
a $50 bill. yellow with age, and ro-
marked: This must not be spent
during my lifetime.
he then related the following story
Just aIler the battle Oh Perryvllle
found two young confederate soldiers
two boys. about IT or Is years oi
age, lying wounded upon the field.
took them to my home, then in the
neighborhood of the battlefield, and
took care of them for several weeks
until they had almost recovered from
their wounds.
One morning company of federal
soldiers surrounded the house aud
took us prisoners to Danville, where
they kept us for several days before
taking the boys to prison. When the
lads were about to be taken away they
gave me this $40 bill for taking care
OF them.
Il refused at first, but they insisted
that | take the money, for 1t would be
taken away from them anyway, and
might just as soon have 1t as anybody
l finally consented. They gave me the
bill and babe me goodby as they went
to prison.
"This was AZ years ago." said the
Judge, land l have neither heard MOI
seen anything of the young soldiers
since, but I have kept this money
Many times have been broke and II
need of dollar. but never had de
sire to spend the bill. Here 1t is; II
belongs to m."-Louisville Post.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1905-03-04

During recent army maneuvers In
England stampede of cavalry horses
occurred which is believed to have
been without precedent in times OF
peace. In the camp near Southamp'
ton q horse broke leg during the
night and veterinary surgeon shot
the animal as 1t stood In the horse
lines. The fash and report so terri.
fed the remainder of the animals that
they dashed through the camp. tram
ping upon tents filled with sleeping
men and scattered over the whole
country. Some made their way
through another camp. communicate
ing panic TO the horses there. and
they joined in the stampede, over
1000 animals breaking away.
Most disastrous was the result to
the. animals. Many fell. breaking
their legs and necks. while scores
were injured by barbed wire fences
and iron-shod picket pegs which they
carried off with them. One drove OF
about 200 dashed toward the sea and
plunged into the water of the harbor.
Men in boats put out and turned back
as many as possible Landing stages
had TO be broken down TO get the
horses ashore. Several animals were
drowned
Another drove Of seventy horses
passed through Winchester. apparl
entity making for Aldershot. Several
men we're injured by the animals
dashing through the camp. Fifty
horses were killed. while trainload
OF wounded animals was sent back to
Aldershot for treatment.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1905-03-04
EASTER THIS YEAR.
Feast Will Come Within Two Days
of Latest Possible Date.

The latest date on which Easter
can fall is April %. It falls this year
on April 90. Three times within the
nineteenth century there was a late
Easter. In lS48 Easier Sunday was
April 80; in 1859, it fell on April "a.
and in 1886, beautiful sunshine and
blossomin2 flowers bore witness to
the fact that April % represented the
nate of the great spring festival. DUR
ing the present century there will be
two late casters beside that of this
wear. In 1943 il will occur ON April
25, and the year 1000 will be man ked
bv the chronicling of the holiday. on
April %.
In answer TO an inquiry, The Even
ing World will say that the date for
Easter is determined by the first cal
endar moon on or after March 81.
Count IA days from the calendar moon
and Easte' will be the first following
Sunday. This year the calendar moon
is April add Ia days. and the first
Sunday following viii he Easter.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1905-03-04
Cut Elnaer-Phonoarsph Resulted.

An accident--a cut on the finger
caused Edison to invent the phono-
graph. or talking machine.
Mr.. Edison told the story OF this In
vention to a reporter At the time,
he said, he was singing into a tele-
phone, and In the telephones mouth
piece he had placed. for safe keeping,
a fine steel point Suddtnly this point
cut his finger. He found, to his sur
prise. that it had been moving here
and there and round about. guided by
the vibrations of his voice.
He placed a strip Of yellow paper
under the steel point, replaced 1t In
the mouthpiece and said the alphabet.
The steel, while he spoke. ran over
the paper, and for each letter of the
alphabet it made a different mark,
or scratch.
This was what Mr.. Edison had
hoped for. He now held the steel
point still and drew the paper
scratches slowly over 1t. There was
given forth, very family, the alphabet
as he had repeated 1t.
Thus the principle OF the phono-
graph-the registering and the repro
duction of the voices vibrations--was
discovered through the cutting of a
finger. 1t was Edison's finger, though,
that was cut. Smiths or Browns
might have been quite hacked of and
no photograph would have resulted
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1905-03-04
Automobile to the Poles.

: Belgium is getting up an antarctic
expedition with Dr. Henryk Arktowski
as a member Of 1t. DR.. Arktowski
thinks an automobile can be worked
into the scheme. The machine would
have to be built very strongly, and on
a special model. to take apart when
necessary. and work in very low tenn
peratures. The theory brought for
ward Is that except at its rough edges
the ice cap of the southern pole Is
smooth, and that once mounted on it
a machine would go flying to its des-
tination like racing car on Long
Island road.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1905-03-04

There is direct connection bet
ween Port Arthur and a peaceful lit
tie village In Devonshire, England
Half a century ago the rector at
Atherington was the Rev. James Ar.
thur, the father OF Lieut. w. Arthur
OF the royal navy, and grand-uncle OF
the present rector, the Rev w. w. Ar
thur was. about 1859. sent in com,
mand Of the gunboat Algerine into
Chinese waters. The Algerine was
attached to surveying expedition
prior to the landing made by the Eng
lish and French in 1860. When the
flagship Action was disabled Lieut.
Arthur towed her into the then un-
named harbor. which was therefore
known as Port Arthur.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1905-03-04

Hungary's great central plain has
lately been suffering for lack Of rain
and the agricultural population are
disQuieted In consequence. At a vii
lage near Grosswardein called Roza-
saliva, the district judge--a govern
ment official and q man OF university
education, who must have taken q
legal degree convened meeting Of
the inhabitants and informed them
that the drought might fnfallibly be
brought TO an end II they would fol-
low his instructions. The great bell
in the church tower must be solemn
ly taken down from It's place and de-
posted beneath the water OF deep
well. This proceeding would have the
effect Of attracting the clouds and
rain would result--of that his hearers
might rest assured.
Full of admiration for the profound
wisdom of their judge, the men OF
Rozasalya went to work without de-
lay. The local clergyman blessed the
undertaking and offered prayers for its
success and the bell was solmemnly
lowered into the well In the presence
of believing and deeply impressed
multitude. And the next day brought
the longed-for rain.
Whether the immersed bell really
exercised any sort OF influence upon
the clouds that so soon began to col
lect above 1t, readers of the Daily
News probably will be inclined to
doubt. though the peasants of Roza-
saliva regard the miracle as proved
up TO the hilt.