Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1905-07-15

N~~~~~O~~~0o~-~~
rs she sentimenal?' Very! She
VIII even weep over her old divorce
papers. Judge
Hewitt--How many meals did Won
nave on the voyage. Jewett-Gross or
net?--Brooklyn Life.
1T seems Woody has discovered
that he has family tree" Yes. it's
an outgrowth Of his successful bust
ness plant"
50 the lawyers got most all the
estate Did Ethel get anythingY"
oh. yes She got one of the law.
yers.'-Judge
employer to new office boy)-Has
the cashier told YOU what you are 10
DO this afternoon Office bov-Yes.
s'r' I'm To wake him when / see you
coming, Scraps.
Magistrate-You say your machine
was beyond your control. Chauffeur
Yes, your honor. If could have con-
troiIed it the cop wouldn't have caught
me.-New York Mail.
Poet see you accepted one of nv
poems and refused the other. Editor
Yes; took one Of them out of SYM
patty for you, and refused the other
out OF sympathy for the pubnc.-Ex.
george certainly is man of ac-
item What has he done?" ~Why.
the very next day after the hoiress
accepted him he gave up his Job at
the bank and joined the Don't Worry
Club"
You'll take couple Of tickets. OF
course We're getting up a rattle for
Ia poor cripple in our neighborhood-"
None for me, thank YOU wouldn't
know what to do with a poor cripple
II | won him"
Well, asked the architect who had
been commissioned 10 make set of
plans for n New York hotel, "how do
you like thcmf" They won't do.
You have provided for only six differ
ent kinds of dining.rooms. Elk.
Kind lady---You can get work beat
ns carpets two doors from hcrc-thcy
are cleaning house. Homeless Holmes
Thanks, mum. | mighter bumped
right inter it If youse hadn't warned
me. I'll steer clear Of it, mum--Cleve-
and Leader.
Jones tto Brown, who has been re-
ating his wonderful adventures in
Eussia)-And l suppose you visited
he great stcppes of Russia? Brown
/ should rather think so And walked
up every blessed one of them on my
1ands and knees.
Once hoy-Mlss Reyes, please let
ne look at your face? Miss Keyes---
What for? Office boy-Why. the boss
said some of the paint was scratched
)ff his typewriter, didn't know
whether he meant you or the ma
,hiue-Chicago News.
The three-year-old daughter of
eading minister rescnts too great
familiarity. few evenings ago,
though she seemed a little unwilling.
4 caller took her upon his lap, where
upon she said with great gravity: Il
want to sit In my own lap"
Mabel mot In her first youth)-First
Of all he held my hand and told my
fortune; and then, EVE, he gazed into
my face ever SO long and said he could
read my thoughts Wasn't that clever
Of him, dear? Evie-Oh. suppose he
read between the lines, darling
Punch
What did you discuss at your IL
orary club this afternoon, dear|
asked the husband In the evening.
Let me see" murmurcd his wife;
oh. yes, | remember now why we
discussed that woman who recently
moved into the house across the street,
and LongfelIow Elk.
padsiug uncertainty before desk
IN the big insurance Office, the Hiber
niaa visitor said to the clerk. "Oi
want to TEX out pawiIcy.' Life,
gre or marine" drawicd the dapper
,lerE with infinite sarcasm. "Al three.
D'hn thiukn.' retorted the applicant;
'OPm gOiu fer Stoker ~ IN navy
--Puck,
Mrs. Youngloye Our cook says
those eggs you sent yesterday were
ancient. Grocer Very sorry, ma'am.
rhey were the best we could get You
see. all the young chickens were Killed
ri for the holiday trade SO the old
Iens are the only ones left 10 do the
ayin'. Mrs. Youugloyc-Ob. to be
olre. or course hadn't thought Of
Record Herald
From Appearances.
When the sXyear-oM son was
akcn In 70 sec the new baby, Saws the