New-York tribune., 1905-12-05
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

The king OF Trarnps" got term in French
Jail the other day. lie said was born of wealthy
parents and educated for the bar. He lost money
by gambling, and TO pay the debt broke open his
fathers safe Turned out Of doors, became a
tramp, and have been ever since a terror to all
honest folk. I have toured France twenty times,
aud have been all over Belgium, Germany, Italy
Switzerland and Spain / have been shut up in
almost every prison in Europe" The magistrate
having informed him that he would have to go to
Jail once more he cried "Hoorayi 1 have scored
my century 1 had been sentenced exactly ninety
nine times before by magistrates all over Europe"
You must find that impediment in your speech
rather tnconye9ient It. at times Mr Biggs? Oh
is rn-In-nine What is yours?'' We'll really. 1 am
tea tea with your right hand?" why yes Of course
''W-we, that is y-your p-peculiarlty. Most p-peO-
pie u-use t-teaspoon, Sacred Heart Review.
There is a railway over the Egyptian desert which
for forty-five miles in straight line but this
is beaten by in Australia. The railway from
Nyngan TO Bourke, in New South Wales, over
plain quite level for 126 miles in a mathema tcaly
straight line There is hardly embankment
not one and only three very slight eleva-
tions.
PROGRESS
Arrangements are being made teaching Esperanto
policemen at Cambrdge.]
Modern, up-to-date policemen
Who would keep the crowd in
Etiquette and motor law.
But a constable at Cambridge
Who is on promotion keen
Must read" Esperanto for the
Full degree of q. 10.
'TPagsa Tonga, gentlemanii''
Is the burden Of his song;
''It is getting very IatO,
Passa Tonga, passa long"
Coming home quite late from what is
Known at Cambridge wine
(Thats a ceremony sacred
When the speech is incoherent
And the buildings TO sway,
IN fog seem to hear the
Constable politely say:
"Passa Tonga, gentlemenij;
all intoxicados.
Passa Tonga, passa long
-O4ondon Globe.
you will never see your Aunt Maria again until
YOU get to heaven" little girl was solemny
told by her mother the other day. according TO
THE London Globe will she ask me to wipe
NV feet?' was her only response. It throws a
flood of light Aunt Maria's character and his
tory.
"Have ye amy ancisters; Mrs, Kelly.?" asked
people you shprung from" Listen to me- Mrs.
from the rae stock of Donahues tho shpring from
nobody. They shpring at thimr'-CTid-Bits.
The following example of a quaint and selfish
nraver does not come from the liturgy. It is from
"Glimpses OF Ancient Hackney: 20 Lord. Thou
knowest that 1 have nine estates in the City OF
London and likewise that I have lately purchased
an estate in fee simple in the county OF Essex
heseech Thee to preserve tho two counties of Mid
5Iasex and Essex from fire and earthquake, and
as I have n mortgage in Hertfordshre, / beg OF
Thee likewise to have eye of compassion on
,hat county and for the rest OF the counties Thou
naveat deal with them Thou art pleased. o
lord enable the bank to answer all their bills. and
make all my debtors good men, Give prosperous
vovaSa and return TO the Mermaid sloop. because
7 have insured ii, and as Thou hast said the days
of the wicked are but short. I trust In Thee that
rbou wilt not forget Thy promise, I have pur-
chased an estate in reyersion which will be mine
on the death of that profiigate young man. Sir
T. Keep my friends from sinking. and preserve
me from thieves and housebreakers and make all
INV servants so honest and faithful that they may
attend to my interest and never rheat me out Of
my property night or day
Now's the doleful time of year
When the leaves sad and sere.
All the skies loom dark and gray.
And most people feel that way
I3lltt there's wee ray of light
Piercing through the inky night
When the bleak winds strip the trees
Then the darned mosquitoes freeze!
--lPierce City Journal