The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-28
A Panacea.

A Panacea.
Last fall an Englishwoman of let
ters was the guest of an elderly lady, at
a country house in western MasSa-
chusetts. While they were driving one
afternoon they had the misfortune to
meet the omnipresent automobile at
sharp turn of the road. The horses.
being spirited, SHE'D, dashing the car
riage against tree and throwing it's
occupants out into the road.
The Englishwoman picked herself
up uninjured, but was horrided to see
her aged hostess lying on the ground
unconscious. Running to nearby
farm house, she knocked for some
time before she finally succeeded in
bringing sunbonneted woman to the
door.
"A lady has been hurt-thrown
from a carriage. She is lying down
there in the road. Can you give me
some whisky for her?" cried the Wis
itor breathless anxiety.
Well. no, We don't never keep no
whisky said the native born after
some deliberation. wouldn't the lady
like piece o pie e?'-Lippincott's.
Cause for Remorse.
A western lawyer recounts a. story of
trial he once witnessed in Texan
court. A Woodworking tough was the
defendant. His counsel. in a voice ap-
parently husky with emotion, address,
ed the jury something in this wise:
Gentlemen my client is a poor man.
He was driven by hunger and want to
take a small sum o1 money. All that
he wanted was sufficient funds where
with to buy bread, for it is in evidence
that he did not take the pocketbook
containing $500 that was in the same
bureau drawer
At this point the counsel for the de-
fence was interrupted by the conclusive
sobs Of his client.
Here, mani exclaimed the judge,
why are you crying sop
Because, your honor" replied the
defendant-"becau I didn't see der
pocketbook in de drawerr'-Harper'
Weekly.
He Was No OrinithoIogist
Witmer Stone, one of the heads of the
Philadelphia Academy of Natural
Sciences, has gathered together what
is probably the finest collection of stuff
ed birds in America.
Mr.. Stone was showing these birds
the other day to a Pittsburg millionaire.
There were thousands of life-like feath-
cred creatures, ranged in line on line of
cases, and Mr.. Stone could not help
praising them with much ornithoogical
warmth.
YES he ended, .'this collection of
stuffed birds is worth some thousands
of dollars"
rs it possible?'' said the millionaire
change.
All Over.
One afternoon, during an adjourn
ment FOR the holidays, a number of
prominent senators and representatives
visited Monticello. the home of Thomas
Jefferson.
A venerable negro acted as guide for
the party, and the distinguished callers
were much interested in his quaint dis
quisitions upon the place and its MEM
ories To this old fellow one of the
western representatives CHANGED to ad-
dress the question whether any battles
had been fought in the vicinity of Mon
ticello.
mo, sah,'' promptly replied the aged
darky-''no, sab, not sence de wah,
sab. .'-Harper's Weekly.
A Fair Deal.
A southern congressman tells a
story of an old negro in Alabama who,
in his bargaining, is always afraid that
he may get "the worst of it. On one
occasion, it appears, this aged darky
went after a calf that he had pastured
all summer, and asked what he owed
for the pasturing.>
said the farmer who had undertaken
the care of the animal, "but, if you are
willing, I'll take the calf and call it
settled"
negro. ..I'II do nothing like dat But
he added, after pause. III tell you
what / will do-you keep the calf two
weeks longer and you can have it -
Harper's Weekly.
Strange!
the Denver Woman's club has been
lost, and Mrs Miriam Guerin, recently