The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1905-11-15


for fun. Have some beans. yer old
image" I'd ask him the fust part
loud enough to take the roof of and
the rest in an ordinary tone of voice.
And then Maria'd puckcr up her face
TO keep from larfn'.
! For them two years he never men
| toned SiddieS folks except to run em
down, but all at once he began to
change his tune. Begun to wonder
how they were getting along and said
he would like 10 see 'em. till Maria
and began to get real worried.
His seventy eighth birthday was
comm and we thought twould please
him if we made kind o. celebation OF
it, We talked it over some and Marie
said she'd git up special dinner, and
have whoppin birthday cake. | told
her it was foolishness. but she was set
on it and said he was old and childish
and would be tickled to death. so let
her go ahead
Well the morning Of his birthday |
hitched up and drove to town, and she
and Pansy Nickerson got talkin' about
the minister's wife; how extravagant
Nathaniel Nixon was since ne got mar
ried, and one thing er another. till
twas II o'clock fore she started
home On the way she met Lysander
Holmes, who drives the mail cart, and
he says, Left a package at your
house; twas for yer Uncle Ephy"
We had a fine dinner, roast beef and
plum puddln' and heaven knows what.
but nuthin suited Uncle Eph. He
growled at the vittles and said this
was burnt and that was raw. till l got
maddern young heifer Fin'lly Ma
ria went out and fetched the birthday
cake. Twas noble old cake. | tell
yer; there was Uncle Ephum on it all
done in red peppermint lozenges; Ma.
ria made the letters so big there wasn't
room for the m on the end. Here's
a big slice fo- you. Uncle. | howled,
and then ! says. in my usual voice
Looks as il it would poison you. and
| hope to goodness it will
We'll, he just srinned and took the
slice and bergen 10 eat 1t. and | set
| down and pulled my mustache down so
as he wouldn't see my lips move and
commented ! sartinly did give it to
/ him hot and heavy. Maria had 10
cough half dozen times TO keep from
lardn' out. See i'm eat" I'd say.
We've got him this time. Every
mouthrul is Just as good as n deed 10
two acres of that hop field. Have
some more: That's right. Wen kill
the deef Old reptile this time. can
see the melodeon IN the parlor Order
the undertaken. Maria; it is the best
days work you ever done"
When he had finished three whoppin
slices, | says: Better have a little
more, you old alligator: we want to
kill you quick; don't want you hansiu'
along"
Then he sits up kinder slow and de-
liberate, lays down his knife and fork
and says
NO he says, the old alligator won't
have any more; he's had enough-of
cake and other things But wouldn't
order that melodeon thi, afternoon il
was you, and | wouldn't rely Oh pickin'
them hops this season" And out of
the room he walks leavin' me and Ma.
ria lookin' like couple Of wax men.
He can hear" says she. after
spell
He's heard every word we've saldw
said I. Then we both looked Ut each
other and never said Boo" for as long
as FIVE minutes. Then we heard Uncle
Eph come st0mpin' down stairs lie
had his old plug hat on ana his cane
ih his hand, and he walked out of the
gate and down the road
You must folIer him" says Maria.
I grabbed my hat and ran after him,
out he got down to town first and went
into the telegraph office When he
came out [ went in and tried TO find
out who he telegraphed to, bur he had
lett word with the clerk 10 tell no one.
so ! got no satisfaction Maria was
fairly dancin' when [ got home.
Hes up stairs in his room" she
says, with the door locked. and he's
THROWN things around like all pos.
sessed He's been deer for years and
years, and bow, how. can he hear
now"
AT 4 o'clock somebody drives mp TO
the gate; twas Sidde's Old man IN his
wagon. Uncle Eph comes hoppin'
rishi down stairs with hi, bag d.ed
up.
"Ch uncle, dear" sobs Maria,
where be you soin:'
The deef Old reptile" says he. "is
goin' TO find another burrow." and he
climbs into the wagon.
This Is your doin's." SAYS /. shaliin'
my nst at slddies old man
Yes - says he. GRIMM. I'm CAD
to say tbs. Here's something You may
be interested in Aud he throwed me
piece Of paper.
Twas a printed circular, and il said:
''The deef hear. Budd's that's slddle,s
old mans namel Marvellous Out.of.
Sight Ear Drums, for Restoring the
Hearing. Ordinary conversation easily
understood. Entirely invisible" and
so on and so on,
"Thems my latest Invention" says
Siddle's man. Il sent Uncle Epb a
pair for birthday present He's been
wearin' em ever since mornin'. You
can hear ordinary conversation with
them, can't yer. uncle:'
yes" said the old man. "and extra.
ordinary conversation. too" Chen
they drove of, and went In and