davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25
The Reason WHY.

Drummond, Wis, Aug. 2lst (SpeciaD-
Whole families in Bayfield, County are
and the reason why is given in expert
e.ces such as that of Mr.. I. I. Void, a
well-known citizen here.
Il had such pains in my back that |
did not know what to do says Mr..
Void, and as | came across an advertise
ment of Dodd's Kidney Pills, sent for a
box That one box relieved me of all my
pains. My wife also used them and found
them just what she needed. recommend
Dodds Kidney Pills as a sure cure for
Backache and other Kidney Troubles"
Backache is one of the earliest symp-
toms of Kidney Disease Dodd's Kidney
Pills cure it promptly and permanently
and prevent it developing into Rheuma-
tism, Dropsy, Diabetes or Bright's Dis
ease.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25

BY HON. GEORGE w. PECK.
Ex-Governor of Wisconsin. Former Edi-
tor of "Peck's SUM-" Author of Peck S
Bad Boy" Etc.)
Copyright 1906, by Joseph B. Bowles.)
Cairo, Egypt.-My Dear Old Geezer:
broke off my last letteirin sight of the
pyramids, when l was left alone on the
desert, my jackass having .stampeded
with the camels, on account OF my fire
works, and l presume you think was
all in, but l got to the pyramids before
the stampeded caravan did. | saw car
coming along, and just got aboard and
in ten minutes / was at the base OF
the big pyramid, and the camel with dad
on between the humps, was humping
himself half a mile away, trying to get
there, and the other camels, with the
Arabs, were stretched out like horses
in a race, behind, and my jackass was
right next to dads camel, braying and
occasionally kicking dads camel in the
Stats.
There were about a hundred tourists
around the base of the big pyramid all
looking towards the stampede of the
camels, and / told them my dad, the
great American millionaire, was on the
runaway camel in advance, and asked
them to form line across the trail and
save dad, but when the camel came near
err was ashamed of dad. He had his
arms around the the front hump of the
camel, and he was yelling for help to
stop his menagerie, and his legs were
flying in the air, and every time they
came down they kicked hole in the side
of the camel.
Well, sir, l thought dad was brave
man, but he blatted like calf, and when
the camel stopped and went to eating a
clump of grass dad opened his eyes, and
when he saw that the procession had
stopped he rolled off his camel like a
bag of wheat, and stuck in the sand and
began to say prayer, but when he saw
me standing there, laughing, he stopped
praying, and said to me: 81 thought you
were blown up when that jackass kicked
the can of dynamite. You have more
lives than cat. Now, get hustle on
you and we will climb that pyramid, and
then quit this blasted country" and dad
sat down on a hummock and began to
pull himself together, after the most
fearful ride he ever had. He said the
camel loped. trotted, galloped, single
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25

footed and SHE'D all at the same time,
and when one hump was not jamming
him in the back the other hump was
kicking him In the stomach, and if he
had gun he would shoot the camel, and
the Arabs, and bust up the show.
BY the time dad got so he could stand
up without leaning against pyramid
the Arabs came up and they all talked
at once, and drew knives, and it seemed
as though they were blaming dad for
something. We found an Interpreter
among the tourists. and he talked with
the Arabs, and pointing to the camel dad
had ridden, which was stretched out on
the sand like he was dead, he told dad
the Arabs wanted him to pay for the
camel he had ridden to death, and foun-
dered by letting it drink wagon load of
water, and then entered in race across
the desert, and the interpreter said dad
better Pay, or they would kill him.
Dad settled for the camel for hun
dred dollars, and promise of the skin
OF the camel, which he was going to take
home and have stuffed. Then a man
who pretended to be a justice of the
peace had dad arrested for driving off
OF walk, and he was fined $40 and costs
for that, and then all the Arabs struck
him for money for one thing and an
other, and when he had settled all
around and paid extra for not riding
back to Cairo on the camel, we got
ready to climb up the pyramid. Dad
said ne wouldn't ride that camel back
to Cairo for million dollars, for he was
split up so his legs began where his arms
left of, and he was lame from Genesis
to Revelations.
But never saw such lot of people to
pray as these pirates are. Just before
they rob man they get down on their
knees on rug, and humble something
to some god, and after they have got you
ropDed good and plenty, they get down
ard pray, while they are concealing the
money they took from you. Gee, but
when I get home l am going to steer
the train robbers and burglars onto the
idea of always being on praying
grounds.
Well, told dad he hadn't better try to
climb up the pyramid, that would so
up. cause could climb like goat, and
when I got up to the top I would fire a
salete, so everybody would know that a
stat spa Mad American was on deck. hut
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25
WRONG SORT.
Perhaps Plain Old Meat, Potatoes and
Bread May Be Against You
for a Time.

A change to the right kind of food
can lift one from sick bed. A lady
in Weldon, ILL.,, says:
Last Spring l became bed-fast with
severe stomach trouble accompanied
by sick headache. / got worse and
worse until l became so low / could
scarcely retain any food at all, al
though l tried every kind. l had be-
come completely discouraged, had
given up all hope and thought 1 was
doomed to starve to death, till one day
my husband trying 10 find something ]
could retain brought home some
Grape-Nuts.
ITO my surprise the food agreed
with me, digested perfectly and with
at once, my flesh (Which had been
fiabby) grew firmer, my health i'm
proved in every way and every day
and in a very few weeks 1 gained 20
pounds in weight. l liked Grape-Nuts
so well that for months / ate no
other food, and always felt as we'll sat
isfied after eating as if had sat down
to fine banquet.
II had no return of the miserable
sick stomach nor Of the headaches,
that 1 used to have when l ate other
food. 1 am now well woman, doing
all my own work again, and feel that
life is worth living.
"Grape-Nuts food has been a god
send to my family; it surely saved my
life and my two little. boys have
thriven on it wonderfully Name
given by Postum Co., Battle Creek,
Mich
There's reason.
Get the little book. "1'he Road to
MELVILLE" in each pkg.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25
TOLD OF THE TITLED.

The empress of Russia's favorite
scent is violet.
Inc shan of Persia could sell his or
naments and precious stones for more
than $35,000,0OO.
On the recent official celebration OF
his birthday, King Edward conferred
on his chef, NJ. Menager, the Victorian
medal
Sir Alfred Jones contemplates build
ing in the center of London a large
hotel, in which every luxury of bed
and board will be provided for two
dollars day.
The Marquis of Ely owns a country
seat originally designed as stable. 1t
was made over into a hunting lodge
and has entirely lost any suggestion
of its former uses
The late Baron Alphonse de Roths-
child's favorite way of answering i'm
pertinent questions regarding invest
ments was: IF you want to dine we'll
take such and such stock, but If you
want to sleep well take some other
A retired army lieutenant has been
arrested at Nauplia. Greece, owing to
having predicted some weeks ago that
M. Delyannis, the premier, would be
assassinated June Is, which was the
actual date of the crime. He says the
murder was foretold to him in a
dream.
In spite of his years, King Leopold
of Belgium is one Of the most daring
of men. Not only is he given to riding
in an automobile at tremendous speed,
but he also employs as a chauffeur one
Marcel, who is pronounced anarchist.
He has been warned against the man
by the police of Belgium. France and
Germany, but he pays no heed to their
counsel.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25
SORE HANDS, SORE FEET.
Itching, Burning Palms and Painful
FiRger Ends-Complete Cure
by Cuticura.

One Night Treatment: Soak the hands
or feet on retiring, in strong, hot,
creamy lather of Cuticura Soap. Dry, and
anoint freely with Cuticura Ointment, the
great skin cure and purest of emollients.
Wear, during the night, old, loose kid
gloves, or bandage lightly in old, soft
cotton or linen. For red, rough and
chapped hands; dry, fssured, itching,
feverish palms, with brittle, shapeless
ment is simply wonderful, single treat
ment affording the most grateful relief,
and pointing to speedy. permanent and
economical cure. In no other ailment have
Cuticura Soap and Cuticura Ointment
been more effective.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25


dies that the guides carried, and up and
down stairs, until finally we got into
big room that smelled like morgue,
with bats and evil looking things all
around, and felt creepy.
The guides got down on their knees to
pray, and l thought it was time to be
robbed again. / do not know what made
me think of making a sensation right
there in the bowels of that pyramid.
where there were corpses thousands of
years old, of Egypt's rulers. l never
felt that way at home, when l visited a
cemetery, but l thought would shoot
my last roman candle and fire my last
giant firecracker right there in that mos
eleum, and take the chances that we
would get out alive. So when the tour
lists were lined up beside tomb of some
Rameses or other, and the guides were
praying for strength and endurance,
probably, to get away with all the mon
ey we had, picked out place up toward
the roof that seemed full Of bats and
birds of i'll omen, and I sneaked my
roman candle out from under my shirt,
and touched the fuse to a candle on the
turban of guide who was on his knees,
and just as the first fire ball was ready
to come out yelled: ''Whoop-la-much-
a wano, pluribus unum," and the fire
balls lighted up the gloom and knocked
the bats gally west.
Holy jumping cats, but you ought to
have seen the galides, yelling Allah!
Allah! and groveling on the floor, and
the bats were flying around in the faces
of the tourists, and everybody was sim
ply scared out of their boots. thought
I might as we'll wind the thing up glo-
rious, so touched the tail of my last
giant firecracker to the sparks that were
oozing out of my empty roman candle.
and threw it into the middle of the great
room, and when it went off you would
body rushed for the door, and we fell
over each other getting out through the
passage towards the door.
was the first to get out on to the side
of the pyramid, and l watched for the
crowd to come out. The tourists got out
first, and then dad came out, putting and
wheeling, and the last to come out were
the Arabs, and they came on their hands
and knees, calling to Mr.. Allah and every
one of them actually pale, and think
they were conscience-stricken, for they
began to give back the money they had
robbed dad of, and an Arab must be pref
ty scared to give up any of his
hard-earned robberies. l think dad was
about the maddest man there was, until
he got some of his money back, when he
felt better, but he gave me talking to
that will never forget.
He said: Don't you know bet
ter than to go around with explo-
sives, like train robber, and fire
them off il hole in the ground, where
there is no ventilation, and make peo-
pies ears ring? Maybe you have woke
up those kings and queens in there, and
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25

changed dynasty, you little idiot" The
rest of the crowd wanted to throw me
down the side of the pyramid, but got
away from them and went up on top OF
the pyramid and hoisted small Amers-
can flag, and left it floating there, and
then came hack to where the crowd was
discussing the explosion in the tomb
and then we all went down the side OF
the pyramid.
The guides got their nerve back after
they got out in the air, because they
wouldn't help dad down unless hu paid
them something every stone they helped
him climb down, so when he got down
he didn't have any mcpey. and hardly
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25
Unanswered Yet.

The Sphinx's riddle had just been
guessed.
Never mind, she cried, gayly, I've
got another: why does woman get off
a car Backward
As this remained unanswered, she felt
her prestige restored-N Y. Tribune.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25
BACK To NATURE

Return to the old-time whole
some wheat food of our fore-fathers.
Buy package of EGG-0-SEE and
use it tomorrow morning.
When you dip your spoon into
its golden brown fakes you will
realize that AT LAST there is a
delicious tempting dish made from
the whole wheat.
EGG-0-SEE is made from the per-
feet grains of the choicest white
wheat, containing ALL THE
VITAL ELEMENTS that make
for buoyant health and good
digestion.
1t is Natures perfect food, and
satisfies your craving for some
thing good to eat"
Perfect digestion means life
power, energy and a robust we'll
being. Attain it by eating EGG
O.SEE.
EGG-0-SEE is sold in alright,
inner-lined packages, insuring
purity and freshness.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25
Heresy.

Traveller tout west)-This is where Wal
eringold lives, is it? / am told he is the
most successful man in this part of the
country.
Jolly Landlord-Him? Successful? Good
lord, stranger. He's the richest and lone
soonest man in the state!-Chicago Trib
une.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25
A Finders Graft.

81 want you to put in your Lost and
Found column AL advertisement like this:
Wallet containing considerable sum of
money and papers Finder will keep mon
ey return papers," said the man.
Don't you think suggested the clerk,
asked?''
No, but you may say No questions an
swered' Pm the finder. Philadelphia
Press.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25
Didn't Know Had Kidney Trouble

had tried many remedies without their having
benefited that about discouraged but in few
days after taking wonderful Swamp Root began to
feel better.
was out of health and down generally; had
appetite dizzy and suffered with headache of the
time did not know that kidneys the of
my trouble but somehow felt they might be- and began
pleasant Swamp Root goes right spot
and drives disease out of the 1t has cured
me, making stronger and better in every way, and
cheerfully recommend it to all sufferers
Gratefully yours,
MRS. A.. WALKER 331 East Linden ST., Atlanta,
Weak and unhealthy kidneys responsible
for many kinds of diseases, and if permitted to
continue much suffering and fatal results are sure
to foLL0ao Kidney trouble irritates the nerves,
makes you dizzy restless, seepless and irritable.
Makes you pass water often during the day and
obliges you to get up many times during the
night. Unhealthy kidneys cause rheumatism,
gravel, catarrh of the bladder, pain or dull ache
in the back joints and muscles; make your head
ache and back ache, cause indigestion, stomach
and liver trouble, you get sallow, yellow COM
plexion, make you feel as though you had heart
trouble; you may have plenty of ambition, but
no strength; get weak and waste away.
The cure for these troubles is DIR. Ki1mer's
Swamp-Root, the world-famous kidney remedy.
In taking Swamp-Root you afford natural help
to Nature, for Swamp-Root is the most perfect
healer and gentle aid to the kidneys that is
known to medical science.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25
ARE YOUR KIDNEYS WEAK?
Thousands of Men and Women Have Kidney
Trouble and Never Suspect 1t.
To Prove What Great Kidney Remedy Swamp-Root VIII
Do for YOU Every Reader of This Paper May Have
a Sample Bottle Sent Absolutely by Mail.

It used to be con sidered that only urinary and
bladder troubles were to be traced to the kid
neys, but now modern science proves that nearly
all diseases have their beginning in the disorder
of these most important organs.
If you are sick or 'fee1 badly" begin taking
the great kidney remedy, DIR. Kilmers Swamp
Root, because soon your kidneys begin to
get better they will help all the other organs to
health. A trial will convince anyone
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25

Can you float alone?" asked the ath-
letic girl, as they padded out to sea.
Il don't know" murmured the young
fnancier, absently. How large loan
do you mean?"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25
Shake Into Your Shoes

Aliens Foot-Ease 1t cures painful, swollen,
smarting, sweating feet. Makes new shoes
easy Sold by all Druggists and Shoe Stores.
Don't accept any substitute. Sample FREE.
Address A S. Olmsted, LIE Roy, N. Y.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25
Curious.

Pheeder-The shape of mans stomach
is round, amt K, Doc?
DR.. Weeder-Nesrly so. Why?
Amt it funny that nothin' fits it so
well as a square meal?"-Philadep
Press
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25
An Extremist.

Mother-Has Charles proven himself to
be a thoroughly abstenious man?
June Bride-Yes, indeed He particu.
larry abstalns flom giving me any money!
Detroit Free Iress
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25

The Lover-"You see, ma and pa are
opposed to me, but the girl isn't" Friend
You're all right. You're going to be
elected by an overwhelming majority"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25
Perpetual Eightin o.

Franklin-Any man would fight for his
colora.
Penn-Yes! I have seen lots of them
phia Telegram.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25
Incomplete.

Jones-What did you think Of the
Louvre gallery?
Smith Gust back)-Oh the pictures
are pretty good. but there are no jokes
underneath them.-N. Y. Sun.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25

Guest-''Don't you like to have COM
pany to dinner?" Truthful Tommy
Nom. We have more to eat, but don't
get as much of it,"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25

Friend-"Are you sure Mr.. Pinkey
loves your Mrs. P.-"Well, he must
when he loans me his razor to open a
can of tomatoes with"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25

Gold has been discovered in a Nebraska
baseball field. But many baseball diamonds
are little bonanZas, owing to Unpopular love
for the great American sport. Troy
Times
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25

Piso's Cure for Consumption is an infaili-
BILE medicine for coughs and colds.-N. w.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25

Have you ever considered the debt
of gratitude you owe your -country?,'-
Yes, answered Senator Sorghum.
But it doesn't bother me. A debt of
gratitude can't foree,ose any mort
cages"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25

Take keer o de pennies" said Uncle
Eben, IAN de dollars will take keer o. de
folks dat you done handed de pennies to-,
to save fob you. w ashington Star
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25

A little sympathy that gets into our
feet is worth a whole lot of sorrow that
never soaks deeper than our feelings
Chicago Tribune
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25

A three-year-old boy upset box of
Daking powder. His sister set him on
a chair and told him to be good. After
sitting there awhile he said: Are
you satisfied? l am"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25

Don't brag about the good things that
you have. Some one viii want to borrow
them.-Atlanta journal.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25

In recent sermon on Other Worldli-
ness Ian MaclSren said that it is 1.-The
unbroken and intolerable sameness OF life
which takes the heart out of many peo-
nile -
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25

The first thing we know crime and all
the other mean things in this world will
be laid to the poor mosquito. Chicago
Chronicle
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25

Sometimes 4 blunder turns out to be
profitable, but under such circumstances
it isn't called blunder.-TOwn Topics.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25
A FEW OF THE BEST.

Benners-"Do you ever go on the mer-
ry-go-round?" Jenners-"No; am on
the water wagon now"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25

Judiciously managed, promises will
sometimes do more for a man than per-
Torrance. Nov, for instance, there's poll
tics-Puck
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25
Very Likely.

"We thought said the reporter,
"that you might care to say something
about these charges against you.'
mo-" replied the crooked public of
fetal, 81 believe that Silence is
golden"
WELL" replied the reporter, "per-
haps the public might believe it's
merely gilt in this case, Catholic
Standard and Times.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25

The Bad Boy and His Dad Climb the
Pyramids-The Bad Boy Lights a
Cannon Cracker in Rameses' Tomb
They Flee from Egypt i'll Dis
guise.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25

EDITORIAL NOTICE. So successful IS
Swamp-R Root in promptly curing even the most
distressing cases, that to prove its wonderful
merits you may have sample bottle and book
of valuable information both sent absolutely
free by mail. The book contains many of the
thousands upon thousands of testimonial letters
received from men and women cured. The
value and success of Swamp-Roo is so we'll
known that our readers are advised to send for
a sample bottle.
In writing to DIR. Kilmer & Co., Binghamton,
N. ". be sure to say that you read this generous
offer in this paper.
Swamp Root is pleasant to take and you can
purchase the regular ffty-cent and one-dollar
size bottles at the drug stores everywhere. Don't
make any mistake, but remember the name,
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25

BY HON. GEORGE w. PECK.
Ex-Governor of Wisconsin. Former Ed
tor of "Peck's SUM-" Author of Peck:
Bad Bow" Etc)
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1905-08-25

How to Find Out
a
small of
mn attention.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1905-10-12
Magnificent Set Of New Wall Charts

The most attractive premium Of
fer of recent years is continued in
the proposition made by the Milwau-
kee Free Press.
To every person who sends $l.OO
to pay for a four months subscrip-
ton to the Free Press, the Free
Press will mail postage prepaid and
securely packed, a new accurate and
complete wall chart, containing two
great sheets, each 29x36 inches
Contents of Chart,
(. Map of the world; new map Of
Wisconsin, the United States and
an up to- date map OF Alaska, Porto
Rico, the Philippines, Hawaii, Pana-
ma, and the canal.
Portraits OF al the Presidents,
from Washington to Roosevelt are
also shown. The flag of all nations,
many valuable statistics are given
of all principal countries of the world
showing their area 10 square miles,
population, commerce with y. 5.
national debt, revenue and expendi-
ture, and much valuable information
pertaining to the farm and mineral
production of the u. S.
The chart retails for LOO but can
be had free from any expense by sub
scribing for the Daily Milwaukee
Free Press, for four months at the
rate Of 25 cents a month.