The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-04-09

kIHAT I can't understand" said
wv the knocker is. why if this
world is intelligently directed
by the sum total of its intelligence.
there are 50 many misfit jobs in it.
Just look about you. Redface, and
you'll see what 1 mean. How many
men in sight really ought 10 be doing
the things they are trying to do? You
and I know dozen tailors who'd make
better bakers than tailors. We know
statesmen by the score who'd be more
appropriately located in Il gas works
somewhere than in the public service:
and as for the writer's. of our books. it
really makes me unhappy to think how
many firSt-clasS cab drivers were lost
to the world when these men took up
the pen. You know from reading the
papers that there isn't an editor in the
country who couldn't run the govern
ment better than the officials at Wash
ington do. and as for the editorial jobs.
it's an accepted fact that there is not
poet on the staff. or any rejected
contributor, the oldest subscriber of
any newspaper. weekly or magazine.
who doesn't know more about how the
thing should be done than the fellows
now in charge"
1T would seem to be as you say"
yaWned Redface YEARLY. 4 agree.
There's only two fellows in the wOrldi
who're tit for their Job and We're the
people You're a l1nocker from Knox
vile. and as for me. well. ever since I
made high balls and rickieS and eve
openers, my business back in 20. when
my candidate for president was elected.
but didn't get in, / haven't taken "A
day vacation, neglected nv work or
missed a cocktail. But. why talk a bout
it? What can be done to rectify this
evil condition Of affairS?-
Arouse public sentiment in favor of
a general shake up everywhere" said
the knOcker. That's what. All we've
got to do is to advocate a general round
up of all the workers in the community.
have EN- put through an examination
to ascertain their personal capacity for
what and put EN- to work at that. 1t
isn't right that the public should be
deprived of the services of Il firSt-clasS
mOtOrman Just because he thinks he's
an A I poet Same way with our edit
ors- If the man that runs the Evening
Ghost over there in New YORK would
make better president Of the United
States than the present incumbent
and / judge from the tenor of his edi-
tOrial observations that he thinks he
wOuld-then the presidency is where
he ought 10 be. If the man who writes
Jokes for the evening sporting papers
knows more about finance than Mr.
ShaW-and if you read his merry little
luibS you II see IN a minute UnaC ne mas
ideas that never even occurred to the
Secretary-prO bono pUblico. let US de-
mand that Mr.. Shaw go back to farm
ing. and let MI Brightpen have his
job
Whatever set your mind running on
this line. knOckeT2' asked Redface
The car and Mr.. Castro Of Nenezue-
la, replied the Imocker They're both
OF EN- in the wrong business, and in
such way as to be a positive menace
to public comfort. I'm for tackling
them first. If Nicholas isn't given his
real job pretty soon We may find our
selves in a good all around miX-up that
viii require the attention of every Of
flee boy with Il knowledge or diplomacy
i'm the land to straighten out The poor
chap haven't doubt would be tickled
TO death if he could be relieved Of his
most embarrassing situation As l see
ii he can't stop the war because his
family won't let him. and ne can't go
on with it because ne can't borrow any
more money TO pay the bills. He can't
eat at home for fear of poison. and he
can't go out TO restaurants for fear Of
bombs And there you are What
ought to be done is to get hold of him.
sneak him out Of Russia some dark
night and give him ii job that's agree
Il bic TO him and to which he is equal
putting somebody else in his place.
understand they need collectors over in
New York to make the swells pay their
taiIor's bills. Now how much better it