The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1905-07-18

Sg@&% company with a wild head
ed boy, and when she had
been turned into the yard, Mr.. Binks
went up to the house aud said
"Well, she's here at last: and now
for the romantic dairy business. Come
out and look the winsome wee thing
over, and see me do the milking act"
She was a COW with a scrumpled
horn" More than that, she was under
sized and scrubby, and her eye did
not have that frank, innocent express
sion always to be found in the hum
bic minded cow.
ell don't like her looks was Mrs.
Binks verdict, after long survey.
what did you expect?' asked
Binks. did you imagine she'd have
two humps, like q camel, or trunk,
like an elephant? A COW is COW. If
you are looking for rhinoceros or a
buffalo you'll have to go further
''I've seen cows before, replied the
lady, with little pepper i'll her tones.
She may be better than she looks;
but I think you'Il be disappointed in
her. She's evidently very common
stock"
"Oh, is she. Ell? That shows how
much you know about cows She's
pure Leghorn.v
Il never heard of a Leghorn COW"
exclaimed Mrs. Binks
Haven't you? that's wonderful.
Perhaps you never heard Of a South
down or a Merino COW? There are
lots of things for you 10 learn yer, es-
oecially about farming. don't say
this COW is handsome, or as graceful
as an antelope; but what we are after
is milk and cream. She's a Leghorn.
# | know anything about cows. and
she'll probably have TO be MIXED about
eve or six times a day. will now
open the performance
II don't believe you have ever MIXED
cow in your life she said.
Don't you? Well, prepare for a
surprise. The. day you put on short
dresses l MIXED sixteen cows and
.hurned twenty pounds Of butter
may be rusty; but
But what?"
II was just thinking whether you
MIXED a Leghorn COW on the right or
left side. It's on the left, think"
"All cows are MIXED on the right
hand side, Mr.. BinksY
Perhaps SO; but Wen try this one on
she left. I'll use that old soap box
tor milk stool You can sit down on
That stone and sing while I play the
dairymaid This was one of the things
that induced me TO hire this farm for
the sulnmer-coming out to milk cur
own I-eghorn COW as the shades of
evening"
The shades of evening didn't fall.
but the cow picked up hind foot. and
sent the milk pail whirling twenty
feet away, and as Mr.. Binks lodged
he fell off the box.
by the mud of New Jersey" he
shouted, as he turned over and got up
but Iii have her life to pay for thisi'
Il told you it was the wrong slde,r
protested his wife.
Wrong side be hanged What's
the difference to COW? She's here to
be MIXED. and she can't have her own
way about things. If she tries that
little game on me again I'll break her
in two! Wen drive her into a cor
ner over there. Come to remember,
Leghorn cows always have TO be
driven into corner to be MIXED
This time Binks approached her on
the right-hand side, and, after patting
her hip in fatherly way for minute,
he said:
Whoa, now, and back up! That's
the style! Mrs. Binks, you walk up
and down and sing something. What
this COW lacks is confidence in us. she
can't tell what our designs are. Sing
couple of verses of Come Into the
Garden, Maude, and give her to under
stand she is among friends
"And you be easy in taking hold.
Some cows have to be petted, you
know
"Tll attend to the pettlng business
I know this is the right side. after nil,
but I'll have her taught to be MIXED
on both sides within week. / want
no one-sided cows around me. Jee
whiz. what was thatY
The COW had lifted both hind feet a
once. but missed both pail and Mr.
Binks.
"You never MIXED a cow in all you
life exclaimed Mrs. Binks.
Then Ill begin now, or perish il
the attempt!7 he shouted Contour,
her! does she think this is circus
and she is trying to jump backwar,
through a paper hoop? Back up, o
iook out for a storm. Now then, star
that singing again. Never MIXED
COW! I'll show you whether / eve
did or notr'
Mr.. Binks started in with grim az
termination
Once or twice in his life he had see
man milk COW He distinctly Il
membered that it was all hand worl
and that no machinery was employe
either above or below. Mrs Blink
had finished the second line OF the SONG
when the COW made Sudden NOV,
nent with her left leg. 1t was a con
binati0n Of football, sliding fora bas
and forked lightning The milk pa
hew past her, and hit the fence with
bang. but Mr.. Binks. and his box. an
grim determination few the other wa,
He wasn't exactly sure what had hal
pened. and he asked no questions u
til his breath returned, and he coul
sit up.