Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-09-02
A DAYS "KNOCK-FEST''

Hereto appended IS a skeletonized chro-
| nology Of a us-performance
knock" at a seaside hotel. az framed Ut
by Washington man who, having beer
| through the mill. knows whereof he
| frames:
0 a.m.-"Mr. Hojack didn't get in until
o'clock this morning, l hear"
O15 a.m--"Say. Hojack must have had G
beaut on last night. My wife says she heard
he didn't stumble in till o'clock THU
morning"
9:25 a.m.-''Did you hear about that dis
sipated-looking Mr.. Hojack? They say he
was in dreadful condition when he CROPPED
his way in long after 4 o'clock this morn
ing"
10 am.-"Dje hear about Hojack7 My
wife says she heard he had mix-up with o
cop on the Boardwalk last night. Story is
that the cop wanted him to go to his hotel
and sleep 1t off. and Hojack got swelled up
about 1t and hit the cop and got raped
pretty hard himself. Going some, Hojack
is. all right. what?'
1910 a.m.-"Why, the very idea, goodness
gracious sakes 1 shouldn't think the pro-
prietor Of this hotel would care to have such
abandoned creatures about his piacel To
whom do I refer? Why, to that Mr.. Ho-
jack, of course! They say that he was all
but helpless when he staggered in at broad
daylight this morning and that he threat
ened to punch the night clerk. and you
know what an inoffensive man the night
clerk is. and what an understood man he is.
too. The id-ee!
1890 a.m.-"Sh-sh-sh! Don't mention a
word of it, but 1 believe the proprietor is
going to have that fast Mr.. Hojack on the
carpet when he comes down. for having
made such a row when he came in last
night, or this morning, rather. ] wouldn
be surprised If the proprietor asked for his
room, so I wouldn't! They say he was
throwing his hat at everybody on the
Boardwalk about 2 O'Clock this morning.
IL a.m-''Theres that Mr.. Hojack going
down the steps. He doesn't look as if he'd
been through such disgraceful time of 1t
last night and this morning. does he? But
some men have the knack of looking just
as fresh as pansies after conducting them
selves like hyenas anyhow!
II 90 ann wonder If that Mr.. Hojack
Is really an unmarried man. after all?
Doesn't he look like married man to
your
II: 80 am-"Sh-sh! Now. wouldn't
have anybody know that 1 said so for the
worlds, but I hear that that Mr.. Hojack,
who's been pretending to all of the girls
down here that he's a bachelor, has wife
and child in Washington"
1855 a.m.-"Now. who In the world could
suppose that a man would be so wickedly
deceitful! He has frank enough face, TOO
and yet have 1T on the very strongest au-
thority that Mr.. Hojack. who's been flying
around here trying to make folks believe
that he's unmarried and who fought four
or five policemen on the Boardwalk at A
o clock this morning and came near being
arrested-I am told by persons who surely
ought to know that he has wife and four
children in Washington
1890 p.m.-"Well, mercy on us! Who
have even dreamed of such thing. And
the man with such candid manner ABOUT
him, too! OF course. we've all known since
he's been here that he drinks excessively
and stays out until all hours of the night
morning rather-but who'd have thought
L.
they say that that Hojack person-oh yes,
I'll admit that he's fair-lookinS-they say
that he recently deserted wife and SIX
children In Washington-left 'em in actual
poverty and restitution, they say! DID you
ever in your born days.?
/ pm.-"B'jee, they tell me that Ho1ack
belongs to the spliced variety, after all! My
wife says that she heard on the porch
while ago that he recently shook VIE
and eight children in Washington. Young
looking duck tove brought up bunch like
that, isn't hep
1870 pm.-"Well. deary me- we won't be
able to trust anybody we meet after While,
will we? Who in the wide world would ever
have thought that Mr.. Hojack was biga-
mist?'
pm.-"Now, If you ever breathed a
word of it. Clara. I'd never forgive you. but
Maude told me a while ago that she'd heard
from one of her gentlemen friends who
knows positively that Mr. HoJack-you
know, that big. staggering man who Is salo
to have almost bitten the ear or a ponce
man on the Boardwalk last night-they say
that he came down here to escape being ar
rested for bigamy and that he has Wlle
in Washington and another one in Balti-
more and lots of children by both wives!
3pm.-"Uh-huh, that's what they tell me.
They say that Hojacks been making spe-
cialty of clipping with rich girls and marry
ing them for the swag, and that he deserts
'ern as soon as he nails the coin. My wife
SAYS she heard that he's only down here to
keep out of the hands of the police. Its q
wonder he wouldn't be pinched in hurry,
at that, seeing that-so I'm told-he has
wives in Washington. Baltimore, Detroit.
New York. Duluth. Ypsilanti, Harrisburg
and Minneapolis. That's what they tell
me- anyhow"
4 p.m.-"Yes. and I heard indirectly a
while ago from person who used to i've
in the same town with Hojack that he
treated her shamefully, and that he gave
her one or more black eyes regularly every
morning before breakfast. just to give him
an appetite, as he brutaHy expressed it!'
p.m.-"There comes that Hojack now,
and looking as cool as you please. the
bra zen thing and as If butter wouldn't melt
in his mouth, and who'd suppose that he'd
ever done all those awful things that
All hands on porch greeting the bliss
fully unconscious Hojack-who had really
got in at II o'clock the night before, sober
as a judge. and who has never even dreamed
Of matrimony-as he steps on PORCELAIN,
Mr.. Hojack, and how did you enjoy your
baWth this aWfternoon?"