The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1905-08-06

just go away and find a new life
among strangers? 1t would have
been better if Sanford in Georgia had
effaced himself when he found that
his wife no longer loved him, than
to have murdered the man who stole
her affections. 1t does not seem manly
in the general acceptation OF the
term, but it would have required
more courage to quietly take his chill
dren and make them new home in
another State than to have shot down
the man who ruined his rome, anu
to have dragged his children through
the mire of murder trials, divorce pro-
ceedings and the like. In some cases,
there is nothing to do but to shoot
and to shoot quick, and no jury Will
hang a man who does this upon provo
cation that enrages any true man, put
in most cases the best thing a nus
band can do, whether actually
wronged or when the union is intoler
able, is to efface himself and go into
other lands where none will know the
torture of his living death.
The chief lesson taught by the de-
parture of Mr.. Biggerstaff is that mar
riage is a sacred relation and should
not be entered into in haste. Most
of the troubles in married life are
summed up in the homely saying:
Marry in haste; repent at leisure.
Nathaniel Macon advised young men
to seek their wives among the daugh-
tiers of their neighbors-girls
who had been brought up
in the same way as the
young men they were to marry. There
is no doubt of the wisdom of that
advice in most instances. Men who
marry girls who have been accus-
toned to the same mode of life that
they must live will find the greater
happiness. AS a rule great disparity
in age, in wealth, in social position
are barriers to happiness.
We are accustomed to believe that
it is very young people who make the
most serious mistakes in marrying.
That notion is open to serious doubts.
Most people marry young and there
fore there are more such marriages
that are not happy than any other,
but in proportion to the number OF
such marriages there is reason to be-.
lieve that middle-aged people make
ten times as many blunders as young
people. In nearly every instance peo-
pie who marry very young are very
much in love and love Is the only
cement that binds. In too many in
stances, those who contract late mar
riages are guided by material consid-
erations and often marry for position,
to better their condition, and un-
selfish love is not the main incentive
to the union. Many such people en-
dure the disappointment with equan-
unity and silence. Some seek divorce.
Mr.. Biggerstaff took neither of these
courses. He had made the fatal mis-
take of supposing he could get
congenial wife by advertisement, as
he could a horse or a stove or
buggy. He was old enough to have
known better, but we have good au-
thority for saying that there is no
fool like an old fool" He soon saw
his mistake. He brooded over it and
sought the best way out. He saw no
course except to disappear. He has
dropped out of his old life. He may
have changed his name. The only
thing he is determined upon is to
escape the unhappy union and he has
made it so the wife cannot find him.
She made as great a mistake as he
did There was no suggestion of love
upon either side. 1t was business
arrangement. Doubtless she was not
we'll satisfied, but women can bear
more disappointment and discomforts
than men, She decided to grin and
bear it, He longed for freedom and
release He found it for himself by
dropping out of his world. She finds
it by no involuntary action. 1t has
been costly lesson, but it ought to
learn the old, old lesson that there
is no happiness in married life with.
out love, and that it cannot be found
by advertisement or in houses or in
lands IT is the gift of God that
shines i'm the heart and illumines the
life.