Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1905-12-01
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90&s thumb and sent the peas
rafting into pan between his knees;
then he took his pipe from his mouth
and yawned broadly.
''Slow job, this shellin' peas, amt it %
'Yes." said /. II often wonder that
no one has invented a way of Smelling
them by machinery
"Inventionr' he snorted. Don't ever
say invention to me again. l wish
every Teller that ever invented any
thing was hung"
l was much surprised and asked him
TO explain. After some coaxing Mr..
Owens complied with my wish, and be-
gan:
Yer never seed Maria's (my wife's)
Uncle Ephum, did yer? No? Well,
the old man was queer un, tell yer.
Richer'n the Steel Trust, he was; had
thirty acres er 'op gardens and a fish
wier and a quarter interest in mack
erel boat, besides a lot of cash in the
bank. Maria and her first cousin, Sid
die, was the only near relations he had
after his wife, Ant Olindy. that was,
died.
Well, Siddie and her old man and
Maria and me fggered considerable on
the old mans money and who was
agoin' to get it when the old man
pegged ont. Siddie and her tribe
wasn't on speakin' terms with me and
Maria, OWN to leetle squabble we
had over a dog he owned that bit my
brindle heifer and scarf her so she
run onto the railroad track and got
made into hash by the up train. There
was a lawsuit and one thing er an
other ter add ter the general good
feelin' besides.
So me and Maria guessed that none
of the money was goin' to Siddie, and
Siddie said the same thing about us.
Uncle Eph was kinder impartial, as
yer might say. One spell he'd be for
US and have his will fixed up so as we
could get every thin, and the next thing
yer know he would twist around and
leave it all to tother side of the fence.
Fust off he came and lived with us,
and he was a trial and no mistake,
cross grained and fussy and deef-
why, he was so def that cannon
might have gone off by his ear and all
he'd say would be: What? Why don't
you speak louderT' 6&s
Men Maria put up with it as best
we could and never gave him any back
answer, and did our best to please him.
KNOWN quite well that the meek in
herit the earth.
But he overdone it. He was dread
full fussy about his eatin, and one time
he took notion for gooseberry pie.
Nothin' would do but he must have
gooseberry pie. So Marie she cooked
big one and he ct most the whole of
it and was awful sick, and swore we
tried to poison him. He lad his will
changed, leaving everything to Siddie,
and went off and lived with her and
her old man for most a year.
We was putry down in the mouth,
but eyerythin' comes to them who
waits, but bimeby he had a row with
Siddie that beat the one he had with
us all to pieces. Yer see, Siddie's old
man is an inventor. Up TO that time
nothin' he had invented was worth a
cent, but he kept at it just the same,
persistent as hen that wants to set.
Well, Uncle Eph took notions over
there, same as he had done with us,
and it came about that he thought the
flies were pesterin' him at night arter
he'd gone ter bed. Seems as twas Oc-
tober; / guess the flies was mainly
imagination, but he said there was mil
lions of 'em round him every night.
and that he couldn't get a wink of
sleep.
So Siddie's old man went to work
and invented a machine for driving
away the flies. He argued that if you
were campin' out or fishin', or any
thing where there was lots of flies,
that they'd bite like everythin' when it
was calm, but If a breeze came up
they would all go off. So he rugged up
cOntrivance to hang over Uncle
Eph's piller and could be raised or low.
cred and pulled up by string to start
it goin'. There was windmill on the
roof that was connected with it and
give it the power.
Well, the very first night Uncle Eph
tried it he laid down, lowered it close
to his face and hauled the rope that set
set her buzzin' and went to sleep.
Middle of the night he wakes I'D and
heard noise, and thought twas
thieves come to torture him for his
money. So he sets up in bed and
whack one of the arms of that re
hymill caught him right on the ear.
He thought twas burglars sure. then.
and hollers aMurderv' and "Helpr'
nuff to wake the dead. An every time
he sit up that fiymill would knock him
down again. He was purity nigh used
up when Siddie and the old man got to
him.
So he was more down on Siddie than
ten thousand of bricks, and made his
will over again, leavin' everythin' to
Maria and me, and back he come to
live with us. This time we thought we
had him for keeps, cause he was SO
dead set agin' Siddie aud her tribe
that the best name he could get for
them was "murderers." and If you
mentioned inventions be would rave
for hours at time.
Well. he comes along and staid at
our house. A couple of years went by
and he was still with us. Maria and
me begun to put down a list of things
we was g0in' to buy when the property
was ourn. New melodeon for the par
lore new whatnot, new cover for the
sittin'-room sofy and any quantity Of
things. And the old man was gettin'
Older, crankier and deefer every day.
Got so it was kind o. joke. ais yer
might say; I'd do it at the table just
for fun. Have some beans. yer old
image?" I'd ask him. the fust part
loud enough to take the roof OF and
the rest In an ordinary tone of voice.
And then Maria'd pucker up her face
to keep from larfin'.
For them two years he never men,
toned Siddie's folks except to run 'em
AZ