The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-07-09
Whinls of the Idler.
SOME FOURTH OF JULY ECHOES. .


Brunswick stew and to have lemonade
in the backyard all day, but beyond this
| decline TO engage in the child-murdcr-
ing business"
And SO the fiat went forth and sadness
rcigned supreme In our nursery and on
the sandpilc In our rear premises, where
everybody else's children come to make
war and trouble with our children Twas
powerful hard to see all those young
lings of ours trying to bear up bravely
while the other brats talked of what
they We're going to do when the holiday
came. and l don't believe the little
shavers ever could have held out If it
hadn't been for the comforting thought
Of the Brown Betty puddin and tho
chocolate cake and the Lemonade.
TWAS as easy as dirt to see. too, that
the COMMUNICATIVE Chief rcpented the
moment she issued the order, for moth
ing rifles the good soul more than to
observe other peoples brats having more
fun or getting more pleasure out of life.
than ours.
But she's dead gnme--that woman who
eats three meals q day on me. Having
decrced that our children were to have
no Fourth of July fireworks, and secretly
suspecting that l was antagonistic to her
ruling, she buoyed herself up in her grim
determination and never flinched.
Tbs is, she never finched until the
:, t9Gr of July the Fourth had been
re and then she threw up her hands
Ia t.,5srst and said: 'Sake's alive. let
'cm have anything they want. Get 'em
forty pounds of dynamite apiece and a
kcg of gunpowder and also have few
steam locomotives running up and down
the block. II they've got to be burnt
up and torn to pieces and reduced to
mincemeat, let's try and have 1t all dono
with by shutdown. I'm ready to give ur
the ghost They're too much for me"
Now the strange change of circum-
stances which made the Commander-in-
Chief yield her point was something like
this: BY Z a. NJ, July the Fourth, every
brat and tad on the place had skinned
out of bed and gone down into the back
yard. They one and all knew that fire
works We're interdicted, and the blessed
little critters had partially resigned
themselves to the cruel deprivation
But this doesn't mean that they were
idle in finding other methods Of amuse-
ment For instance. our first born who
had a rubber ball conceived the very
clever idea of throwing it at the head
of little William Jennings Bryan, not
| with the malicious idea of striking Will
liam j., but in a conscientious endeavor
| to see how near he could come to his
target without actually hitting it. The
consequence was that by o'clock the
| inoffens!vc skull OF William ]. had gotten
| a purely accidental whack with the ball,
| which for a time created tremendous cx-
element
| The wounded hero, after recovering,
began killing flies With bit of India
rubber and proved himself a most sue
ccssfnli hunter as long as he confined
| himself to the files. But by and by, he
became fascinated with tho idea OF using
his little sisters ear as substitute for
the flies. This sport quickly resulted
| In the most franctlc mutations. Candy
| had to be rammcd and damned into the
| NAV of the lady of the wounded ear
before quiet was restored. The sufferer,
/ on returning TO the arena. soon recovered
| her spirits TO such an extent that she
went to the sandpilc and, after Inviting
all her little brothers and sisters to gaze
skyward, tossed UP n handful of sand
which came down kcrplunk In the faces
I'of all tho spectators and incidentally
filled several eyes with grit. The en-
suing chorus was thrilingly blood -curd-
ing and the family comforter lost thirty
minutes from the Brown Betty puddin'
/
When quiet regnod once more. and inc
| commandments had returned 10 her
| fraifn In the kitchen, all hands decided IN
| view the surrounding landscape from The
BACK renee, feat which was successfully
accomplished and would have been car.
! RED 70 Il glorious end, had not the hoy
1 VINO mas his PAS Roman nose lost his
clulliprium and been hurled down to our
| aShpile. More bowls more soothing; moro
parental anguish,
rms incident over, the little girl who
Is always good except under cxtrcm.
| pfoFocation TO be naughty, stepped upon
2 barre! hoop which flew back into her
lace ard inflicted on her blue-yeined fore.
mead an ugly cash,
ny now the Queen Bee was bcginnInr
70 lose her nerve as well as her temper
ana KNOWING that was In no way 70,
spohhlblc for The series OF nishnps sn.
sought revenge by delivering ms n lecture
on Inc unceasng vigilance which ia re-
CURED III the nursing OF children.
me dlscoufsc was n good one, too, anC
so greatly did II interest n certain one OF
my tlhy shoe-doslroyers. hat the bra
accidentally, but none the less cxtray
aghntly, swallowed a penny he had In hi
mouth This awful monetary loss wa,
lhe cause OF hldeols Rawlings aud grca
! cpFnsterna,on on all sides II Is an awm
thhE 10 see money 20 that way, ant
hcueh The penny is still valuable asset
IL Is hpnut the most un-Bet-nt-able piec
OF property we have
! ana furthermore we had 10 cover IN
| loss WIN another penny before the Twin,
| receIlapic or the lost coin was IL ri
| pacitied.
| ifitteen minutes after our nttle .darun,
nag swallowed the American eagle an,
J ln@oehtdily deposited the head or poo
nontas IN his tum-tum ii WAS decided n,
me somewhat disabled marty. to star