Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1905-03-06
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Clara-Did he propose to YOU before
or after he kissed you: Maud can't
tell. During the excitement forgot
all the details. i ife.
Husband-You are always looking
for bargains. Was there ever time
when you wasn't a bargain hunted?
Wife-Yes, dear; when | married you.
Scissors.
Mrs Chatterson-It was such a
relief to have my husband fail. Mrs.
Chipway-How so? "Oh. | was so
afraid we would have to pay all those
ls."-Life.
Cyril-You may spurn me. cruel one.
but remember, shall not always be a
clerk at 50 a week. Marie-That's just
the trouble. You may lose your job t
any time.-Chicag News.
Parent (angrily)-Those 'school
shoes" l bought here for my boy did
not last two weeks. Dealer with sur
prise)-He must have been wearing
them out of school.-Washingto Life.
Teacher lin spelling class)-Johnny,
spell fail" JOHNNY can't. Teach
cr-You can't spell that simple word :
Why not? Johnny-'Cause you told
me there was no such word as fail
New Yorker
Pansy (who enjoys having her moth
or read to her)-Wead some more,
mamma. Mamma cannot, dear: my
fN-it
scorn)-But wead wiz 90 mouf, ma
New York Times.
rs your husband up YETI" inquired
the early morning caller. Il guess he
is" replied the unlocking woman.
I'D like to say few words to him."
80 would l. He hasn't come home
yet. "--Catholic Standard.
Ernestine-I don't sac why your
chaperon should have been offended
because Jack played the piano. 1t was
certainly better than lovemaking.
Moyrtlla- but he insisted upon
playing always in the Way."-Chi-
cagO News.
Toni don't see you automobiling
with Miss Giddyun any more. Jack
No; weighed her in the balance and
found her wanting. Tom-Wanting
what? blackwell. wanting to face
the parson with me. for one thing
Chicago News.
Little Johnnie-When Miss Nextdoor
got married. her mother threw an old
slipper after her. What was that for?
Little Ethel-Oh. they always do that.
That means that her mamma isn't
never going to spank her any more
Smiths Weekly.
This servant-girl problem will make
me old before my time "Bothers you
too, does it:' Indeed it does. IL
have an ugly maid my husband Is
away all the time. and If | have a
pretty one he is at home all the time,
and daren't go away; 50 there it is
Houston Post.
Mrs. Woodby-You don't mean to
say you paid my millner's bill to-day.
Mr.. Woodby-Of course. The bill
reached me yesterday, and thought
the mllner might need the money.
So Mrs. Woodby How
do YOU expect us to be considered real
swell If we pay our bills promptly
Philadelphia Ledger.
Maude-Did you read that magazine
article in which physician advocates
yawning as a means Of stopping the
disa greeable buzzing In ones ears?
Clara-Yes; and he is right. too. |
tried it on young BOrum the other
evening after he had talked continu-
ously for an hour or more, and he
| took the hint and left.-Chicago Daily
News.
The following notice was recently
| found tackled on the door of church.:
There will be preaching in this house
a week from next Wednesday. Irovi-
dence permlttin'. and there will he
prea ching whether or no on Monday
following upon the subject. He that
believeth and is baptized shall be
saved and he that heleveth not shall
be damned at $50 in the afternoon. "
Clinton (Mol Herald.
A travelling man WHO grove d'ToSS
! the country to IA little town in western
| Kansas the other day met a farmer
hauling wagonload of water.
Where do you get water" he asked.
I'm the road about seven miles the
farmer replied And you haul water
seven miles for your family and
stock" yep" why in the name
of sense don't You dig well:' asked
the traveller because 1t is Just as
far one way as the other. stranger
Denver Republican.
Mrs. Potts was filled with nervous
alarms whenever she travelled and Mr.
| Potts always had his hands full in
irving to quiet and reassure her. AL
| pernon." said Mrs. Potts. Weakening
her husband from sound sleep in a
southern railway car. "Algernon. |
want YOU to find out why we are going
Mt this fearful speed. The car is bump
ing and swaying till | can scarcely
see out of my eyes" Mr.. Potts sat up
| and looked out of the window AT the
mooulit landscape. See that bridge
ahead on the curve?' he asked sleep