New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-10-10
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Stories multiply of Pope Pius's democracy.
Visitors are received with great simplicity AS
soon as one enters he causes him to be seated III
an armchair by his side chats, laughs and relates
.,acdo+as and stories The other day the Pope
while receiving some women remarked that they
had trains to their skirts. This is not hygiehic'
said he lone gathers thus in the streets quantey
of microbes and other things As to myself when
they compel to add train to my cassoeK II
bothers me much, although there are four preiates
To uphold it," But Holy Father, said one or the
women, I'VE hold up our trains when gong III the
streets" THAT must be very inconvenient, re-
piled Plus X and passing from word TO action
the Pope made several tours In the room hoolng up
his robe.
Barber-How do you want the little fellows hair
Johnnie Bladder want mine cut like papas. with
hole top.-(Yorkshire Post
A patrolrnan brought prisoner into Detroit
police court charged with vagrancy
What's your name?" asked the court
"Tellus.'
Tell you?"
mo. TeIl-us.''
.oh, see" replied the judge, although he looked
very much perturbed. and 1t was plain to see that
he did not see at all. What's your first name?' he
ventured.
''Tellus"
'.oh, see. What's your name agan?"
"Tellus."
The judge pulled his mustache very hard ana
glared. Say" he spluttered why don't you tell
us? What's the answer?
''Tellus TeIlus, that's my full name, repeated
the prisoner Then he wrote it out as follows;
Teus TeIlus
ANY BARD TO ANY TYPIST.
So vile the script that once scrawled.
So bIotted and SO blurred,
Some eentfpede might well have craWieo,
Ink-footed, Ger each word
In fact nv fist was such It turned
70 r,Or,de ant
some men sore twas Greek, but come discerned
Traces of Arabic
And though my thought was bold and clear,
No editor would lend his ear
Until you came along
Twas you who wrought. ingenious maid.
The miracle sing; .
My work, thanks to your kindly aids
Now sells like anything!
You disentangIe words that seem
f9 You er give my my rs. their dots
Thanks to those swift and cunning types.
BY your fair hands Sc. ca1e ag 6inss
And you do all the rest
Now all my crooked lines are straight
And you with wondrouS ease
Unlock the editorial gate
With deftly fingered keys!
A German puhlicist who spent part of the sum-
mer in a boarding house at Teignmouth, England
says: 'lGnglish seaside visitors display most re-
markable ingenuity in sustaining lengthy con-
versation founded no other topic than the
weather When this is exhausted. they turn 10
their aches and pains; each individual adduces
some striking examples of bodily suffering on his
or her part and the combined ailments of the
company afford themes for endless discussion"
Near Thing.-Tommy Howard is no better and and
no worse than the majority Of men of his age but
his maiden aunt who keeps him in supplies at
oxford. and whom he looks to to leave him some
thing worth while. takes it for granted that he is
the embodiment of all the virtues
She went to see him recently, and the dutiIul
Tommy took her and his dog for walk through
the city Tommy hadn't given thought to the
intelligence of the canine creature. but, as the
event proved the latter very nearly upset the
whole bag of tricks. For he, rotted serenely
ahead and stopped at the door of the Brown Cow,
and looked round If expecting his master to
follow.
what does this mean%
Mean aunty?" said the resourcefuI Tommy.
''Er-dogs a wonderful intelligent beast don't you
know. Looks up at the sign of that horrid place.
secs a cow, thinks it's 8 dairy, and, being fond of
milk wants me to buy him some. Yes; remarkable
dog"