The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-09-15

II u AeN AAA0AAA'to ~ sGS v -
set OF fine shirt studs cheap and help
out a Observing cripple at the same
time. She generally bites. n once
she mas ssTsaed her p~Ocketbook to hand
n fifty for something that cost me
10 cents. I don't dare to stop my game
for fear OF driving the woman out of
the store in a hufr before h had
bought what h came for. 1t don't
do to interrupt q woman when h
thinks she has a bargain on the rum.
Its soft money to offer shoestrings
and other things easy to carry In your
pockets to the brokers. They toss q
bill at you and never take anything
and you never intended that they
should. But the presentation watch
game is my favorite when I feel like
enjoying myself right.
The "Phony" Watch Game.
81 buy a watch that looks like it was In
q gold case for three seventy-five. and
take It o to an engraver I know, and
he puts In the inside Of the front lit: Pre-
scented to John Jones by James Smith, in
grateful acknowledgment OF his galantry
In saving my daughter at the loss of his
legs in a runaway, June II. 1904 Then I
tidy up a btt-put on a collar, a~nyway-and
when the p~awnsh0ps are closed j go into q
saloon In a good quarter Of the town.
Never try the game until the pawnSk.ops
are closed: some wise guy might trip you
up by asking why youididn't go to a pawn
shop.
Well. when you p out . group of
drinks at a table you act as II you, were
half-dazed with liquor and tumble In
your pockets for money for the drink you
ordered, and discover you haven't a red,
and declare you've been touched of your
wad, and then suddenly discover that
you've still got your watch, and pull that
out, and lurch over to the hush-lookers
and show 1t to them-with the front lid
open, of course.
"You humble something about being
broke-touched-and you don T to
do II. but you need the money; and it's
a - shame to treat the man so mean
who gaye it to YOU, but-and the first
thing you know some one bites and asks
how much do you want for the watch?
You see, he sees a chance to get a good
thing for a song-he's a CRATER, and 1t
serves him right to touch him for a
| twenty-spot for a three seventy-flve
watch.
But II you think there's no ma In tho
crowd who'll bite SO hard, you ask for a
loan Of ten dollars, the watch to be left
with the barkeeper till next day, when
you'll redeem 1t, and the barkeeper can
hand back the money, and all the time
you're swearing you'd never part with
the watch for keeps. But I don't like to
work the game that way unless I'm night
up against it. That's too nue. like doing
a man dirt who befriends you. The other
| way you're simply doing up q CRATER
who thinks he is doing you up brown.
Appeal of an Empty Sleeve.
Some days when I want to lave the
feeling of a Millionaire at the end of a
day I stick my light hand into the top
of my trousers; a friend straps my arm
tight against my body and / go out into
the world minus an arm as we'll as a leg.
An empty sleeve appeals when a wooden
leg won't; and IL it's your right arm
that's ~gone-that's everybody's best arm.l
you know-the more you'll feel like a
millionaire after a few hours on the
STREETS. I know a hobo wha had his left
arm strapped In when he was green at
the game, and until some one took pity
on him and put him on he didn't make
enough to pay for the pain. But when he
strapped In his right arm he was setting
'em all round right away. r
''Often I don't feel like doing much OF
anything. SO l a up my stand on the 4
street we'll on in the evening, and when
a man comes along l say to him, politely:
Mister, can you tell me where I. can
get a scent bed?' i
streets. I know a hob who had his left.
bed, and I've never got SO low as to sleep
in a Decent bed. but the man takes it
from my words that I'm no beggar and he
admires my grit. and nine times out OF
ten he will toss me a quarter and say. +,
'ThatIl fix you up
zone evening nos long ago I made IS d.
this way. but II I'd done straight begging
maybe I'd picked up half a dollar, and
maybe not a cent. TIL hobo's got to- know
a trick or two to get along as well as the
frenzled fnancier, and both lave got to
know suckers when they see them. .
POOLING the Hospitals. =
when I want a change of Diet or feel
like viewing the passing world from q y
! quiet retreat I fool the police. and ambu-
lance doctors and lay up in a hospital for
| a couple Of weeks. In hot weather it's
lead easy to keel over in the street and
make out that you've been touched by the
I heat. Sometimes when my stomach is
telling particularly strong I eat soap and
get palpitation of the heart. Sometimes I
let on I've got awful pains all over me.
There are any number Of ways of break
ing into a hospital. Getting in Is the
principal thing. Once you're there you
can develop all sorts of puzzling symp-
toms that will make interesting study for
the young cubs just out of medical school.
well, I guess I'll go over to the square,
get q seat where TIERS no punk bum,
pick up a paper and read before it's time
to go to one OF the ferries or depots to
catch suckers among the half-holiday peo-
pie with pocket peddling. The rushn be
over In two hours; then I'm going to take
q trolley ride. It beats all what fine
trolley rides there are around a big city.
3u >.e 80 ooosh1e ~ ~ lAie
retired hobo when he longs for a change
Of scenery and wants to get away from
the suckers and such things for a breath
ing SPELL"
Mistakes in Pictures.
From the Chicago News.
A w~ell-meaning artist OF the eight
eenth century painted a picture in
which Abraham was depicted as about
to sacrifice Isaac with a hlunderhusa.
The actua event which the artist had
~striven to depict %antedated the use of
firearms by about 5000 years. There
Hare also pictures of the Israelites cross-