davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1905-05-04
Wise For His Years.

Boy-None. Pm only hunting.
Different Then.
Whenever it is raining
Then It's a master stroke
To collar an umbrella
It's just a little Joke.
But when some other fellow
Goes of with your new stick
You always fail to see the point,
And it's a measly trick.
One Problem Solved.
'"What do you think Of the Filipino
women? Many of them smoke CIGARS
"Great. 1t must so simplify the mat
ter of buying Christmas presents"
Evidence Against Her.
did Charley kiss you at the gate
last night?'
I'm not telling"
"He didn't, then, or you would be-"
Too True.
Is taffy just for ladies?
Sweets to the sweet. they say,
But you can feed the horrid men
Enough to load q dray.
-
Narrow Escape.
Ever have appendicitis
"No. The doctor thought | had once,
but he changed his mind as soon az I
showed him my bank book"
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1905-05-04
Warranted to Work.

Warranted to Work
II wish l knew of some way to beat
the railroad company"
II can put you wise to a sure thing"
riding the rods?"
NO"
Hitting q box carr
"Surer than that"
"Put me next"
walk"
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1905-05-04
o. II. A p, REGISTER.
II TI Aaa.fuaE

Date of first publication February ?, 1908.
The Central Nevadan" is hereby designated
as u newspaper of general circulation In the
vicinity OF the said selected land and published
nearest thereto; in whirb newspaper the said
I. j. Wilson is required to publish said notice.
q. II. GALLaP, Register.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1905-05-04

One difference between literature and
a market for the latter.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1905-05-04

There is no show quite so good as
the one furnished by the man Of forty
who hasn't had on skates for twenty
years when he puts them on to show
the boys how to- do it.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1905-05-04
May Be Cussine.

II borrowing
Is sorrowing.
Pray what is the sensation attendips
Lending7
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1905-05-04
Pull That Fails.

The poor mule leads n barren life.
A heavy load he totes.
For. though he has a splendid pull.
1t brings him In no oats.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1905-05-04
One Big Catch.

"Catch anything on your fishing
tripT
"Only the train for home"
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1905-05-04
notice. TO eGNDHdlDsa5 TO STE
RENDER AUSTIN TO-. BONDS.

Office of the Clerk of the Board of
County Commissioners of Lander Coz
AUSIIN. Nevada, Feb. 9th. 1909
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1905-05-04

1t takes a diplomat to know ore
than the boss and hold his job.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1905-05-04
Great Booster.

Great Booster.
"You know that COW you sold him
for $50? 1t has just doubled in value"
Been run over by a train?"
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1905-05-04

Corresponding rates from other
points.
For further information call on
Agent Southern Pacific Company
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1905-05-04
FORGOT He Was Married,

Forgot He Was Married.
HE Is the most absentminded man
on record"
what has he done nowT
"Going through a tunnel he kissed his
wife,"
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1905-05-04
To Whom 1t nay
Concern.


Carson City, New, Jan. 10, 1905
On December 9Th. 1872, T. J. Wilson made
lieu selection No. essl, under Act of Congress
approved Jnne 9TH, 1897 eco ST. at LARGE PIP. "a,
81 of the Nil. Eia of SRI, and NW4 of SEA
of Section II, Township 80 North, Range "A
East, Mount Diablo Meridian.
The purpose Of this notice is to allow all per
sons claiming the selected land, or any par,
thereof. under the mining laws, or desiring to
show IL 10 be minerarin character. an oppor-
tunity TO file objection to the said seleetion,
with the REGISTER and Receiver of said land
office. and to establish their interest therein or
the mineral character thereof. This notice to
be published for the period OF Six OIL consecu-
tive weeks.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1905-05-04

Never pass a bad dollar except with
acoru
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1905-05-04

1t is a great shock to learn that the
hero in the play beats his wife I'm pri-
vate life.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-09
FoRESIGHTED CYNICISM.
Why Certain Provision Was Inserted
 In Aged Farmers Will.

From the Washington Post.
 Colonel George Harvey, at dinner that he gave In New York last month in hon. or of M. Witte and Baron Rosen, said, apropos of foresight:
 With foresight with looking keenly ahead into the future, there often goes a deal of cynicism. This is not so much the fault of the person who looks ahead as 1t is the fault of the human nature that is looked ahead at.
 'In my native Peacham, there once dwelt a brilliant young lawyer. To him there came one day tottering and grim Vermont farmer of 80 years.
 Young man said the farmer I want to make my will. I want to leave all I possess to my wife as long as she re- mains my widder. and after that I want everything to go to the children
 How old is your wife. slr?' asked the lawyer
 'Seventy-four'
 ""Then. wouldn't 1t be quite safe,' the lawyer asked. to leave out the discount eous phrase, about so long as she re- mains your widow? Just leave her every thing
 Indeed, I won't. said the old man.
 But surely said the lawyer, you don't think the lady seventy-four now, would marry again after your death do you?'
 "The old man looked the other full in the face, as he answered solemnly:
 Well, sir, there's no telling what young chaps like you might do for moneyo
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-09
The March of Liberty.
From Leslie's Weekly.

From Beslie'S Weekly.
 Europe already has two republics Switzerland and France. The American continent has twenty-one, beginning with the United States and Mexico and ex- tending through the West Indies and Central and South America to Cape Horn. Virtually, too, Canada is republic, and so is Australia. But the sway of the re- publican ideal does not end here. By far the strongest of the parties in the reich. stage of the German empire Is the social ist. which aims to esta bish republic Republicanism is powerful in Austria Italy, Belgium. Denmark and every other European monarchical country The re- publicans in Spain are laying their plans to repeat their experiment. of thirty years ago, when opportunity offers. John Nor ley has called England a crowned re- public" Hungary Immediately congratu- lated Norway on it's declaration of inde- pendence. Ireland's press applauds
 ways act But these localities aspire to republicanism, and in Hungary's case the ideal stands chance to be attaiiNd when the death of the aged and popular Fran. cis Joseph who Is the only bond between Austria and Hungary, brings that split in the polyglot empire of the Hapsburgs which everybody is looking for.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-09
ROOSEVELT AS A BOY. Soon Picked Up German and Showed
 Great Ability.

Louis Viereck in Success Magazine.
 When in the summer of 1873 the Roose- welt children were introduced to the Mink wtz family they had never spoken Ger man and conditions in Germany were all together new to them. Nevertheless they soon adapted themselves to their new en- vironment especially Theodore. who show ed remarkable ability. A few days after his arrival Miss Minkwitz's brother came home from the University of Liepzig, at which he was studying and told the com pany a German students joke. Every body knows how deep these are. This joke must have been particularly good. for everyone laughed, most of all Teddy. Fraulne N1nkwitz was greatly surprised at this, and asked him how he could understand it at all. Thereupon Teddy proceeded to repeat the whole story to her in English in a way which proved beyond doubt that he saw the point He seemed to pick up things-one didn't know how" she said.
 At that time Frau Rat had in her service a good old servant girl. named Emily, who had an admirer by the name of Charles. fact which had escaped the MinlSwitz family's attention alto gether. although the girl had stayed with them for some years. Theodore had been In the house but few days when one morning. he created sensation by say ing. Emile, ich bin Karl: ich lebe Du" ("Emily. I am Karl; love thee!')
 He was passionately fond of books on natural science. especially of Brehms 'Thierleben," which he studied eagerly. One day he got it into his head that he must have a rat, mole, or a ham, ster. When he asked Miss Minkwitz where he could get one she told him that she did not know The lad then began to in- vestigate for himself, and finally came back from the city, swinging in triumph, like trophy. a dead mole and dead German marmot. He had discovered a man who had white mice for sale, and from him had procured what he wanted. He next went to work to strip the anil nals of their skins in the kitchen, and prepared to boil them in one of Frau Minkwitzs saucepans. But here the good old Frau Rat interfered. He therefore went to the back yard, built himself a little oven from bricks. skinned the ani- mals. and after having boiled them pre- pared them carefully. putting together skillfuly all the part of the skeleton
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-09
WILL COMMENCE
 WORK VERY SOON
PLANS OF MAJEcTlc THEATRE INDICATE THAT IT WILL BE
 ONE OF THE HANosoMEsT IN THE SOUTH.

As soon as the plans for the Majestic theatre, to be built on Third avenue be- tween Eighteenth and Nineteenth streets, are approved by B. M Allen and the city building inspector. work will be com menced on the new structure.
 The plans call for a play house that will be modern in all it's appointments. The building will be four stories high ana Grecian columns will adorn the front. The theatre will cost over s40OO0 and will have a seating capacity of HOO.
 The architect has made ample proyis- ions In the plans for exits to be used in case of a fire. Pains have been taken to provide several escapes to be used if needed.
 According to the blue prints the en- trance to the theatre will be as pretty as any structure of it's kind in the south The plans also make provision for boxes on the first floor and the first balcony.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-09
Ills Religion.
From Harper's Week.,

rToHi iidIpeT Weehly-
 Not long ago a certain clergyman from the West was called to a church in Jersey City. Soon after his arrival the devine' 8 wife made the usual visits to the mem bers of the parish. One of these, a plumb CTS wife, was asked by the good lady whether the family were regular church. soers, whereupon the wife of the plumb CT replied that while she and her children were attendants at divine service quite regularly, her husband was not
 Dear me-" said the minister's wife, that's too bad! Does your husband never go to church?"
 Well I wouldn't say that he nevar went" was the reply. Occasionally Will goes to the Unitarian, now and then tb the Methodist, and have known him to attend the Catholic church."
 A look of perplexity came to the face of the visitor. Perhaps your husband is an agnostc," suggested she.
 Not at all.' hastily answered the other: he's plumber. When there ia nothing for him to do at one church. there is very likely something for him at one of the others"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-09
WANT MAIL CLERKS.
Civil Service Commission Announces
 Examination in Birmingham.

The civil service commission announces an examination November at Birming- ham to secure eligibles from which to make certificatlon to fill vacancies as they may occur in the position of railway mail clerk in the states and territories mentioned below.
 This examination is open only to male citizens of the United States who are legal residents of the following named states and territories, and who otherwise comply with the requirements: Alabama Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Idaho, Indian Territory. Kansas. Louisiana, Maryland. Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nevada. New Hampshire, North Carolina, Porto Rico, South Carolina, Tennessee, Flr- ginia, West Virginia, Utah and Wyoming
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-09
What Touched Her Most.

From Tft-Bts.
 few weeks ago in a certain church a clergyman gave sermon which he had taken great pains to prepare. While he was yet speaking he noticed woman sobbing violently among the congregation. and thinking he had moved her to re- pentance. he afterward sought her and asked her what touched her most in his sermon. She refused to inform him. but the good clergyman implored her. say ing that by her information he might be enabled to convert thousands of sim ners, when to his horror she replied:-
 Oh we'll. you reminded me, when you threw your arms this way and that. of my poor old donkey when he was dyin.' .
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-09
TEMPS FAvORS ALLIANCE.
Urges the Maintenance of Franco
 Russian Accord.

Paris. October S.-The necessity for the maintenance of a Franco Russian all liince is vigorously urged in the course of a leading article in the semi official Temps, which points out that the public opinion of both countries is unanimously in favor of the continuance of the alli- ance. The article adds that the accords with Italy and Great Britain served to allay annoying misunderstanding; that both were the natural outcome of events and that France ought categorically to refuse to renounce them
 The Temps, however. does not favor an Anglo-French alliance which it says would be useful to Great Britain, but compromising to France, and would prob ably create trouble in Europe.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-09

FOR SALE. sS5OO-4th ave, 18th and 18th. 50xl40. Sl1, ,OO0-Improved lot 9th ave-. 22d and 23d. S5O00-Improved 9th ave-, 26th and 21th. $15, 5,0O0-Bargain: Northside corner; lOOx140. ST 0O0-Fine corner, 200x240 s525O-Lovely new Norwood home $S500-11th ave, near 2Sd; improved; 50x240.
 $2S50-24th st., near l1th ave: 90xlS0. S9s5O-Lovely N 17th st. Groom cottage. $2650-3d ave. corner: Groom house. $170O-Newly painted papered; D corner. s46OO-Neat South Highlands home; deep lot
 S1050-Pretty Richmond place lot. s7S0O-Large modern home, l block Five Points.
 s7500-New. attractive home; s. 12th st. $6750-Mountain ave. home ss0OO--25 acres, West End; lovely home. s225O--1O0 feet front on car West End; 5-room house. $2500-5 acres l block car. Kingston. We still have on our rent list some nice dwellings and stores.
 M'CONNELl & ANGLlN, Phones 1923 20ls Sd Ave.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-09
I'll oMPSoN RETURNS.
Will Not Discuss Proposition to estab-
 fish Republican Paper.

Internal Revenue Collector Joseph O. Thompson. chairman of the republican state convention, returned yesterday from Huntsville. where he went to con- fer with other republican leaders relative to the establishment of republican daily paper in Birmingham.
 MT. Thompson declined to talk about the results of the conference, other than to say that the success of the movement seemed to be assured. He will leave to- day for Tuskgee and will be absent from the city several days.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-10-09
HELP WANTED.


 NANTED-Canvasser for house to house demonstration of Red Seal Lye. Apply Colonial hotel lo-S-zt
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1905-01-07
TIE FARMERS PAPER

THE u NJ market reports and CONNER
cial columns are complete and reliable, and
put the farmer, The merchant and the
broker in touch with the markets Of Balti-
more Norfolk, Charleston. rw York, chi
points in the mi, ed states AZ d other coun-
tries. An OF which the reader gets for one
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1905-01-07
A CRAP GAME
FINDS SERIOUSLY
A Sunday Morning Rumpus In Free
dom Alley May Result In
Murder

George Cooper. alias Smith colorcd,
was arrested in Lodge alley, IIavrc d"
Grace, charged with shooting William
Ramsay. colored. with intent to kill. 1t
appears that on Sunday Christmas
morning. the men had engaged in game
of crap at the home of Thomas Davis.
colorcd. in Freedom alley, in that city.
When Ramsay lost what money he had,
he throw down his Ovcrcoat against %
cents. and lost. Ramsay picked mp tn"
ovcrcoat, when Cooper claimed it. ana
q tuSSle cn$ucd Thomas Davis Scparat-
ed the men. and Cooper drawing re-
volvcr fired straight ut Ramsay, the lat
ter lodged, and the ball struck him in
the right arm. y second Shot took effect
in the stomach ana n third shot took eff
feet in RamSny'S back asr he kay face
down on the floor.
Baiiff Welsh and Special Officer Rich
ard Kelly arrested Cooper in Lodge ALLEY
and took him before Squire NJ. IL. Fa-
hey, W \ imposed u fine of 500 or six
months 4 Jail. for cal1Ni"% concealed
weapons. and on the charge of assault
with intent to ill committed C"Ner to
the Belair Jail to await the action IT the
grand jury AT the February term ct
court.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1905-01-07
ADJUSTMENTS.
"Love's Lottery "

Ford's Grand Opera House. Baltimore,
week of january 9th-F. c. Whitney will
present the world lannon's Prima Donna
contrllto and Coincidence Nine Schu-
nEIrn-llcink, i'll the new STANCE and Ed
wards Comic Opera, "LOve'S Lottery"
The best singing organization in America
with orchestra of Metropolitan Opera
House sn,oistS.
Fun set to grand opera music and in
trllHrtrd by grand opera singers has
been the successful aim of +. c. Whit
| nry in presenting the distinguished con-
itla,tG and comcrirnnc Mime. Schumann-
ilriml;, who is enthusiastically welcomed
I'LL over Europe rs n gifted actress and
exceptionally endowed singer. in "Lovc's
| Lottery" in which she has been so tr-
lumph9mt this season. She has captivat-
cl all listeners by her glorious voice,
and her vivacity has captured all fun
lovers.
| Julian Edwards. the composer, has fur
nShcd exquisite melody in the score,
which is srpclhly sung by famous COM
pany. with orchcStmtion by members of
| the celebrated Metropolitan Opera House
| Orchestra.
Stengc is the author of the book of
Gloves Lottery" the story is both in
tcreSting AMI entertaining, and the To-
GALE is placed in the village of Deans
void, England, in the time of George
| III. 1878. The first act takes places in
| the court yard of a house in the villigc.
| Hni the second in Il secluded part of
| Drarswold Park.
| The principal characters are by Nine.
Schumarn-lIpiuk, II. w. Trclauick. G.
! / Talln1r w H. Thr'rnSon louiSr
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1905-01-07
The Best-Trained Husband


when they look ut that roast they must
think am either II liar on II fool
why. Hans. do not know what
YOU mean. The roast Is AS perfect as any
| ever made.
IIar> gave Il rather sharp reply. ANA n
little domestic quarrel followed, which
WIS, Snjlothpd over by the guests.
Something quite different happened at
Minnl'> the following Sunday. when an
equally ~cor.hrd roast WAS put on the
table. The host never as much nc made
an alr1<ion to the miShap and ate the
rather large slice which his wife had put
,sn his plate without tlinching.
But IIclrn'S husband behaved even bet
ter under equally trying circumstances II
week later Not only he helped himself
twice to mere roast. but even praised the
skill of his wife. who knew exactly Just
how Il dinner should be cooked.
, The next day the three wives met to
tender their verdict.
; Il will not praise myself as having
trained my husband better than any of
YOU" said Helen. but | think that both
of YOU will admit that my Fritz put both
of your husbands to shame. Your huS-
band, Anna. openly found fault with the
roast. while Mimna'S kept his tongue but
mine even praised ME.
IF you will allow me one word, inter
rupted Anna. II do not think all the ties
timony is in vet. Helen has truly told
how our husbands acted while others
{ were present, but my dear Helen, what
did Fritz >sly to YOU when we had gomez
/ oh, suppose no more than both OF
yours did" replied Helen II little embalr-
raised. when you had gone he gave
me II good scolding, and |, of course. in
sisted on having the last word, and at
last he locked himself in his room, and
we have not spoken II word since"
, Just what my Wilhelm did too, said
AIinma We had Il quarrel. but after Il
while we made it all up and have forgot
ten al about ii long ago.
But my husband" said ANNA, with II
proud smile 'came to me as soon as You
had gone and asked me if could forgive
| him for having behaved 50 outrageorsly
ut the table, and. though | felt like kiss
| ing him on the spot, ! made him think
that | was very angry until he came
! home the next evening with II perfectly
lovely diamond ring for me"
The verdict was rendered in favor of
Anna as Iusset$sor of the best trained
husband.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1905-01-07
THE SUN AT ONF CENT
Is The Oh 'ap:St High-ClasS Paper
In The United States.

TIL T. 81 y = r'rial - respondents
Europe. China South Africa the Philippines.
Porto Rico Cuia ard i'll every other part of
the world. make it the greatest newspaper
that car be printed.
Its Washington and New York bureaus
are among the best in the tnited states,
and give TIL 81 y = readers the earliest IN
formation upon all i'm Iortant events III the
legislative and financial ccntcrS of the
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1905-01-07
BY JENNIE REESE.

Anna, Minma and Helen had been
friends from the time they first met as
girls of II at boarding school annd this
friendship they had kept mp even after
they had all married.
Now they were sitting together chat
ting. each one insisting that she had II
better husband and was more happily
married than either of the others. and
that her husband WAS better trained
than the others.
Well" said Anna. 1T is really fool
ish to sit here and waste words: it would
be much better if we put our husbands
to ii test Now, | suggest that each of
llS do the same thing to diSpleaSe her
husband and see which one behaves the
best
Good" exclaimed the others. but
what shall the test e?'
well. my husband is very particular
about his eating. and aS | have rather
spoiled him by always doing my best t"
tickle his palate, nothing is more dis
agreeable to him than if occasionally
spoil dish. Especially on Sunday he
looks for II dinner perfect in every par
ticuar. How about your husbands!
"Oh, my husband is just the same
wayw exclaimed both the others.
''Thcn. suppose each of MS invites the
other two with their husbands to take
dinner with her on II Sunday and then
arrange it so that she happens to spoil
the roast. and we will see whose husband
behaves the incest about it.
THAT is Il 20!
The conspratorS and their victims hrst
met ut Annals house the following Sun
day Everything went spendldly ana
everybody was in the best of humor until
a roast Was served which looked like a
piece of charcoal
The brow Of the hitherto so pleasant
host clouded visibly and his eyes seemed
to pierce his poor wife through and
through. while he mumbed something be-
tween his teeth which his wife'S friends
irtcrurrted to mean something like TINS:
1T is 1; good thing for YOU that we are
not alone or | might give you II piece OF
my mind d
why. darling" exclaimed Anna, you
seem to be worried about something.
What is the mnrtet!
"Oh. it is really nothing but that DO
wish that you hard chosen another time 10
spoil a dinner than when we happen to
have company. | have always praised
YOUR cooking 10 Fritz and Wilhelm ana