New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-12-06
THE Talk or THE Day.

The library of the late Rev. Charles H. Sturgeon
is 10 come this country 1t has been purchased
for the William Jewell College, OF Liberty, Mo-. a
Baptist institution The collection is especially
rich in literature relating TO the Purtans.
"Womans crowning glory is her hair" he quoted.
. Not now, returned his pessimistic friend
In many cases now womans crownng glory is
some other Woman's hafr.'-CTft-Bits.
The Kansas farmer is prospecting. An Osborne
County farmer has purchased a typewriter and
hired stenographer to operate it.
Magellan had discovered his straits
Il could make good thing out of this ditch,
he said If ths ad b R up "a 4aKe so much
with the crude Biographies Of the period he c, re-
tired to the cabin to splice the main brace.-(chi-
cago Tribune.
The Rev Edward Lloyd Jones, a Manchester
CEngland minister tells story Of his experience
IN Fenian days. He was travelling from Welsh
village to Brecon, and had with him strong
wooden box filled with heavy theological books.
AT Shrewsbury the detectives, who were on the
lookout for explosive machines and the like, sus-
pected this heavy box and word sent on to
Brecon When the young minister stepped out Of
the train he was astonished to find sergeant and
several constahles awaiting him. Il think you
have box with you" said the sergeant quite
right ,, said the preacher. who began to scent a
Joke out came the box, aid its weight excited
fresh suspicion about its contents. This IS your
box?" Yes 1T contains ammunition" It
does Very we'll consider yourself in charge
Omen the box" The company stood away while
the lid was cautiously wrenched off When the ser
eeant found it contained nothing more explosive
than Adam Clarkes Theology" he expressed his
indignation freely to the minister. All that he got
hack was the soft answer: why. bless my soul,
man. you asked if the box contained ammunition
That is my ammunition. I'm a Methodist parson,
and that's what I shoot with
No More on T1arth.-"Sir I am a student OF the
"Weii. what can / do for you. sir?''
81 want TO look through your telescope sir.
YES sir; / want TO see if saturn's smashed his
rings toe. ~ alimore American.
wanted cocIroaches In large numbers" is I'M
known as an advertisement in American papers.
t,t a. is said to be not unfamiliar in England. Its
mysterious meaning made evident in an adver-
tisement in a Wimbledon paper:
wanted 10000 cockroaches by tenant who
agreed to leave his present residence IN the same
condition as il when he took it
The tenant was q sticber for the literal fulfil
1nent of his contract
THE HEAD WAITER.
OBJ all de mean men in de town
He only lbs to call yo down
Dess lax yo wah a slave
T. 20, amt quick to heah de gong
or brush de crumbs away,
Am in a hash care
En- IL vo' dahe to tilt tray
Or Jolt somebody's ahnl,
He'll scowl tell you half de day
To go back on de fahm
We rims until vo' lib in dread
I'm tremble at his frown;
tIa thinks dess kase dey put him head,
He makes de WORT go roun
En- if yo' gets tip or two,
His palm open wide
I'm if yo know what's good foh 70,
Yo betteh had dev1de.
p,+ A h dess know what All will do,
Ann climb lax oil Big jim;
SIM daY Ah1 be head wa1tah, too,
En- boss aroun' lax him.
r1ere are the 'specalties' which Alex White
y, Du ouoin III. advertises in The Evening
call" of that place:
alley white killing hogs, setting oui shade
..oas diqeing wells straw for bedding and car
nets and preaching on the saooath my specl'i
pee 80 orders at Geigers bakery Dunn's
store or at my home on Mclean and Wehs-sts
A LONELY SPOT
..I,m looking for a lonely spot.
said Jack unto his neighoor jill
While they playing cafos Lor JACK
Inst needed one small ace 70 MI.
Jus" -lYonkers Statesman.