Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1905-11-29

animals and are constantly wearing an
air Of II am holier than any of you,"
but they will reach through the bars
OF their cage and steal alfalfa from the
Yak and the mule deer, and il they,
kick about 1t the sacred cattle look
hurt and act like it was part Of their
duty to take up collection, and they
below sort of hymn to drown the
kicking. g. ssH>> >. + 1T.
The different kind of goats in q
menagerie are the butters-in, or the
new rich, who get in the way Of the
society leaders and try to Guido them
in society stunts, but they smell SO
that the other animals are made sick
and the goats are only tolerated be-
cause animal society is afraid to Of
fend them, for fear the leaders may
some time go into bankruptcy and the
goats will take their places and never
let them get smell of the good things
of life. -
The bears are the working people of
the show, and the big grizzlies are the
walking delegates who control the
amalgamated association of working
bears, and the occupants of the other
cages have got to cater to Uncle
Ephriam, the walking delegate, or
be placed on the unfair list and
slugged.
The hyenas and the jackals, and the
wolves, represent the anarchists who
are down on everybody in the show,
who won't do a thing to help along
and won't allow any other animal to
do anything, and who seem to want to
burn and Stay, to carry a torch by
night and poison by day, and want
everything in the show to be chaos.
Those animals are never so happy as
when the wind and lightning strike the
tent, and blow it down, and kill PEG,
pie, and create panic, and then these
anarchists sing and laugh and enjoy
their peculiar kind Of animal re-
ligion.
The hippopotamus is like the lazy
fat man that groans from force Of
habit, sits down as though it. was the
last act Of his life and only gets up
when the bell rings for meals, and he
sweats blood for fear he will lose his
meal ticket and starve to death.
The zebras and CRATES are the
dudes of the show, and you can imag-
inc, If they were human, they would
play tennis and golf, drive four in
hands and pose to be admired, while
the Royal Bengal tigers, if they were
half human, would drive automobiles
at the rate of mile minute on
crowded streets, run over people and
never stop to help the wounded, but
skip away with sheer, as much as to
say: What are you going to do
about it, -, 3.
The seals are the clean-cut Baptists
Of the show. who believe in INNER.
sion, and they have more brain than
any animals In the show, because they
live on fish diet, though they have a
pneumonia cough that makes you feel
like sending for doctor. = ~
Gee, but last night when we thought
spring had come and we could start
on the road pretty soon, the snow fell
about a foot deep, and 1t was so cold
that all the animals hoWled ali night,
and shivered, and, went on a regular
strike. We ha' to put blankets on
them, and no one of them seemed to
be comfortable except the polar bears,
the arctic foxes and the fat woman.
The other owners of the show thought
it was good time to take the boa
constructor and pull an liberated tooth,
cause he was sort Of dumpish, 50 pa
and I helped hold the snake, which is
about 20 feet long. j. ;
Pa was up near the snakes head
and when the man with the forceps
got hold of the tooth and gave it q
yank. the COMPOUNDED snake come to
and began to stand on his head and
thrash around, and pa dropped his
hold and started to climb the center
pole, but he got caught in gasoline
torch, and they had to turn a hose on
pa, and he was awful scared, cause he
always did hate snakes, but they gave
the snake chloroform and got him
quiet. and pa came down, and they
gave him a pair Of baggy trousers be.
longing to the clown, to go to dinner
in, and pa was sight. 45: