davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09
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Q OOD
Short Storiss

When "Delphine" appeared II WAS
said that Nine. de Stael had described
herself as Delphine, and that Tallev-
rand was the original OF Nine. de Yer
non. Meeting the author soon after
ward, Talleyrand remarked in his most
gentle tone Of voice: II hear that
both you and 1 appear in your new
DOCK, but disguised as women"
James G. Blaine had a personal
friend In the custom house at Portland
Cleveland had been elected and ipau9-
urated, and Federal ofiice-holders were
hanging to their jobs by their eyelids.
Blaine called at the custom house one
day, and seemed surprised to meet his
old friend, saying: What, Bill, you
here still?" YES" whispered BIZ.
- still"
| At a special service In a Baltimore
church, few weeks ago, a young lady
was to sing What Are They Doing In
Heaven To-DayT The members Of
the committee having in charge the
printing Of the program were not IA
miliar with the exact title Of the piece,
and in the first copy prepared for the
printer they had It: Anything Doing
In Heaven To-DayT
A famous Irish lawyer, who was al
ways poor despite his success at the
bar, once took Chief Justice Whiteside
to see his new house in Dublin. II
was palatial and magnificently fur
nished. Don't you think" he said
with complacent look about, that ]
deserve great credit for thisT' Eyes,
the judge answered, dryly, land you
} appear to have got It."
Sidney Dillon, time president Of
: the Union Pacific, arrived one night al
a station where there had been a wash
! out Several trains were stalled there
r and the passengers were subjectini
7 the telegraph operator to all sorts o
4 annoyance by asking questions. Presi
t dent Dillon went up to the station, anC
said to the operator: Have you I
q telegram here for mer I'm blesseS
s II l know" said the operator, eyeini
i Dillon very critically; would your pho
J, tograph be on it2"
8 A late story OF Russell Sage tell
d how a committee of society womel
a waited upon him and asked a subscrip
/ ton to some charitable object. Carne
n gle, Rockefeller and Morgan wer
> down for a thousand or two each, an
d Mrs. Russell Sage's name appeared OF
e posite the modest sum OF one hundre-
IS dollars. The old hnancier reached 70
8. his pen, and his fair visitors were jub
liant until he handed back the subscriI
. ton list. He had merely written M
II and" in front of Mrs. Russell Sage"
" On the occasion Of President Roos'
.e velts visit to the home recently bough
n by Mrs. Roosevelt in Albemarle, he &c
is of the Southern Railway at Reed Hi
" and was shaking hands with the crew
d when a woman came along and star
4. ed to climb on the coach. The Pres
l. dent was by her side in moment, an
N his strong right hand speedily assiste
lie her to the platform. Then he graspe
lie her right hand and gave it a shak
,e the woman all the while cycling hi
i. suspiciously and attempting to ores
in away. Finally she succeeded, and the
ID turned loose the Walls Of her wrath G
IN Rooseyelts astonished head, saying
Young man, l don't know who 70
are and don't care, either; but
want to say that you are the freshe
" that ever struck here"
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09

eoiiision with two combined consteIIa-
IONS such a combination, in fact. as
was noticed early in March Of this
year The effect OF these planets be-
ing 50 close to the earth would be 10
destroy the gases which sustain hui
man hfe, and. although millions would
be killed in the space Of a few hours
ae augurs that the remainder will live
Tor a short time in state Of madness
caused by the rupture Of the earth
from its orbit.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09
woman. inconsistency.

Ever notice it?" queried the man who
begins in the middle when he asks a
question
did 1 ever notice whatT' said a party
of the other part \.
THAT the practical experience Of an
actress is usually far In advance of her
advertised youthfulnessT exclaimed he
of the prelude.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09
sD.,u,s Linguistic King.

King Alfonso has fair claim to be
regarded as the best educated OF our
crowned heads. says the London
chronicle. He is a linguist, being IA
,,II,sr with French, Italian, German
ana English. He never travels with
ont Goethe. Schiller and the Austrian
noet Grillparzer. whose name will be
new to most people. OF the ancient
classics King Alfonso prefers Horace
MANY OF whose odes he has translated
into Spanish. Moreover, he revels In
oatbematics and history. and adores
drawing. What attention he has paid
10 english literature is not made pub
lie.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09

Maude-Congratul me, dear. Jack
proposed last night and 1 accepted
him.
CIara-Yes, he offered to bet me a
pair OF gloves you would
Maude-Wha
Clara-But 1 declined the wager. /
told him it wasn't sportsmanlike to bet
on a sure thing
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09
who Gould Blame Them7

A Paris newspaper relates an amaz-
ing story which most people will prob
ably regard rather as an example of
the ben trovato than OF strict fact
According to the story. an automobile
proceeding from Nantes to Rosny met
herd of fifty horses being led to a
neighboring fair and stopped 50 as not
to cause a stampede. But the horses
seemed to have instinctively recognized
the rival OF their species and without
more ado set on the machine in a body
kicking It to pieces The chauffeur
was with difficulty got out OF the melee
uniutured.-London Globe.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for
any case of Catarrh that cannot be cured BY
Halls Csssrrh Cure
F. ]. CHENEY & CO., Props, Toledo, o.
We, the undersigned. have known +. J.
Cheney for the last Is years, and believe him
perfectly honorable in all business transac-
lions and financially able TO carry out any OBJ
legations m ade by their nrm.
Wksr & TRUAx. Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, o.
WALDISG, KISSAN & MAEvIS, Wholesale Drug
gists, Toledo, o.
III airs Catarrh Cure Is taken internally, act
Ing directly upon the blood and mucous sur
faces OF the system Price Toe per oottls-
sold BY all Druggists. Testimonials free.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09

1et nothing be wasted or lost US
,,a we'll or wasting the fragments OF
lime Of opportunity. the hooks ana
corners Of life, makes all the dinerenG J,
between success and failure. This is
esnecially true of spiritual work. Otten
~ hest results are gained from the
',se Of fragments Of our business on
Sa,,v ufe. the by-products OF Nv
ing Nature says, Gather up tns
fragments" In natures no y, 'sllo,..
.hare ,s no waste. The decay OF rocks
80 the soil OF plants. The decay Of
- .Ian+s forms the mold in which future
plants will grow. The wafer uls'. -osn
I'd An the air becomes clouds ana ram
-Woman's Life.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09
Knew His Blackstone.

"I'll commit you. sir" said the Judge
to the noisy fellow in court You are
a nuisance"
.You dare not. your honor" replied
She noisy chap.
do you mean to defy meT asked
the judge.
mot at all, your honor" calmly an
swered the disturber of the peaceful
quietude, but you say 1 am nuisance
and you must be wise to the fact that
1t is unlawful to commit a nuisance"
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09
To Calm Waves by Bomb.rdment.

Shells filed with oil, intended to
calm a stormy sea when fired into it,
have been invented in France The eff
feet of a film of oil in reducing the
size of waves is well known, but in
the case of a moving vessel it is diff
cult to reach those in front, among
which the ships progress will soon
bring it. At first ordinary explosive
shells containing oil were tried. but
these, besides being dangerous, did not
distribute the oil evenly. At present
wooden shells are used. which break
when they strike the water. allowing
the oil to run evenly over the surface.
For night use the shells have an illu-
minating attachment The results are
said to be isfactory.-Success.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09

Cant say that am much impress
ed with the neighborhoOd." remarked
the man who had been through the
suburban cottage.
whats wrong7" growled the real
estate agent.
"Well. to begin with, can hear the
mosquitoes singing"
well, what do you expect mosqui
toes to do-whistleP
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09
Matter of Choice.

Brown-My wife is inclined to be i'll
tempered most of the time, I'm glad to
say.
Green-WhatI Glad to say she is i'll
tempered?
Brown-Yes; when she is good-na-
iured she sings.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09
inst Like a Woman.

at can't understand how you manage
to find your way across the ocean," said
the fair passenger.
1--WE rely on the compass" replied the
captain of the ocean greyhound The
needle, you see, always points north"
yes" she said, but suppose you
should want to go southT'
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09
A Neoessarr Formally.

How much longer have l got to
wait for my breakfasts" demanded
the inpatient man with the napkin
tucked under his chin.
you ordered eggs on toast l be-
lieve, STRIP said the waiter.
Il did. You ought to remember 1t
well enough. You took the order"
Yes, sir. The toast is all ready,
but the proprietor is executing a mort
gage on the establishment for the
eggs sir" explained the waiter, with
dignity.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09
n.a Idahtning Cure.

"Here's a story Of man VINO was
- 81 rheumatism by being struck
by lightning .-.o-r +,r,a -
..I,n risk de rheumatism every unne'
p-otber Dickey. II don't want no
doctor what's es quick e. uA''
Ianta Constitution.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09
And sill She Bragg.

Maud-Has your wife been married
twice7
Miggs-Yes.
Nfaud-Does she make you angry by
telling you what a nice man her first
husband WASP
Miggs-Yes-
Maud-When did he diet
MiggsEHe didn't die. She got di
vorce from him because he beat her,
Detroit Tribune.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09

~If a man is naturally bad education
won't make him any better"
mo, but 1t will help him to keep out
of iail."-Cleyeland Leader.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09

In China spurious coin may be lawful
ly manufactured when it is intended to
be placed in the collins of the dead. The
Chinese believe that those bad coins
make the dead just as happy as good
coins would
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09
To Break In New Shoes.

Always shake in Aliens Foot-Ease, powder.
It cures hot, sweating. aching. swollen feet
Cures corns. tngrowing nails and bunions- Al
all druggists and shoe stores, 25c. Don't accept
any substitute. Sample mailed FREE Address
Allen 5. Olmsted, lie Roy, N. Y.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09

Inst take care of the nicksls ..,,.-
u That you work so hard to collar
Ana you bet your LIE
Your lawful wife -,
WIN take care Of the aoilaf'
DatroIt Tribune.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09

Mothers will find MRS. winsIow's soothin g
Syrup the best remedy to use for their children
during the teething period
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09
THE DAISY FLY KILLER destr

destroys all the
flies and ahords
confectionery
hone-in dining
room, sleeping
room and all
places where
hies are trouble
some. Clean,
neat and will
not soil oriniure
>anythlng. Try
them once and
Ii not kept by
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09

JOhnny-Papa. what is an . opnn.' 70
Fsther-A man who VIII pro etnnS,n =
90 70 another picnic while A''en
ons-Judgs.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09

TITO Permanently Cured. No ats or nervousness
FIX amer first days of DR. Kline's Great \ erve
Rsstorer. Send for Free trial bottle and treatise
DR.. r. H Kline, Ltd, s31 Arch ST.. Philadelphia Pa
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09

A man knows he can't put his hand
into the ice water, but he VIII pour
lea water into his stomach
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-09

There would be more great poets II
there were fewer great critics
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-08-03
CHICKASAW FRAUDS,
Administration Seems to Be Unable
to Find n Officials.

to Find Honest officials.
The frauds in Indian Territory have
partially come to light in spite Of all
the efforts to suppress them.
When President Roosevelt sem a
special commission with power to in
vestigate charges that had been made
he could find nothing but a few If
regularities, but the grand jury which
has been Investigating at Ardmore has
discovered enough evidence to indict
quite a number Of government Off
Gals. On June IS indictments were
found. for alleged $1,OOO,OOO frauds in
connection with the government Of the
Chickasaw nation, against the follow
ing persons:
w. I. Ward, deputy district clerk
and treasurer OF the ChickasawS; D.
S.. Johnston, governor of the Chicka-
saws; 2, S. Moseley, former governor
of the Chickasaws; B. H. Colbert,
United States marshal: Kirby Purdom,
a banker, who Is alleged to have abb
seconded; Mansfield, McMurray & Cor
pish. the law firm acting as attorneys
for the i~llickasaws.
The Indictments are based on the
charge OF raissuing school and general
fund warrants of the ChickaSoW ma
ton. anG it is said that all OF S1,OOO.0OO
was obtained in this manner The
fraudulent warrants are held by bank
ers of Joplin. Kansas City and st.
Louis.
When will this fraud business come
to un end? The administration seems
helpless to get at the bottom Of it
and obtain honest men for officials.
Surely there must be some Repub-
leans of rectltude in that part Of the
country.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-08-03
Climatic Cures.

The influence of climatic conditions in
the cure of consumption is very much
overdrawn. The poor patient. and the
rich patient, TOO can do much better at
home by proper attention to food diges-
ton, and a regular use of German Syrup,
Free eXpectoration in the morning Is
made certain by German Syrup. so is a
good nights rest and the absence of that
weakening cough and facilitating night
sweat. Restless nights and the exhaus-
ton due to coughing, the greatest dan
ger and dread of the consumptive. can
he prevented Or stopped by taking Ger
mar Syrup literally and regularly
Should you be able to go to a warmer
cline, you will find thatof the thousands
of consumptives there, the few who are
benefited and regain strength are those
who use German Syrup. Trial bottles
25c: regular size, 75c. AT Burke Il Go.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-08-03
A REPUBLICAN PROTEST.
Business Men Declare For Recfproc-
fly md Revision.


The committee Of one hundred of the
Boston chamber of appoint
ed to consider the general question of
reciprocity and tariff revision adopted
q declaration that the country is con-
fronted with q commercial and eco
nomic situation which threatens Amer
lean interests and industries. These
Boston Republican business men fur
ther declared:
"We believe a revision of the tariff
upon the principles Of reciprocity to
be necessary, and we affirm that the
adoption Of a maximum and minimum
tariff system having for it's purpose
reciprocity rather than retaliation is
best calculated to promote and main
tain a rational system of protection
and to guarantee the equitable treat
ment of all foreign nations.
'The typical attitude of Germany, our
second largest foreign customer, empha-
sizes the practical character Of reel
procity as a political proposition. The
tendency of the Hay-Bond treaty with
Newfoundland and our unsettled COM
mercial relations with the Dominion
Of Canada most urgently call for i'm
mediate action.
eve earnestly indorse the reported
intention of President Roosevelt to call
a special session Of congress for the
immediate revision Of the tariff"
That declaration Of independence of
the Republican dogma Of protection
will lead to freedom from the plum
dering Of the trusts inc protected spe-
cial interests if President Roosevelt
will stick to his declared intention Of
calling a special session of congress
to consider that and the railroad rate
question.
The Boston Republican business men
urge Immediate revision of the tar
it," but they will have to be constantly
pushing and urging the reform they de-
sire Or they will be grievously disap-
pointed.
The Republican leaders, who are al
most without exception opposed to a
special session Of congress on account
of their object11g to tariff revision,
have evidently persuaded President
Roosevelt that an extra session is not
warranted by conditions and that to
call one before the fall elections would
injure the party in those states where
elections are to be held. The president
seems to have fallen into this trap, and
those Republican leaders who have
talked with him declare there will be
no special session, at least not until
after the elections are over, which
would bring the time close to the regu-
lar date of meeting, Dec. 4. In that
case it will be much easier for the Re-
publican stand patters, who will con-
troll the house Of representatives,
where all tariff legislation must origi-
nate, to prolong the hearings on the
bill and so procrastinate in reporting
the Same that it will be too late for the
senate to act, and SO tariff revision
will be defeated. Those are conditions
that tariff reformers have to face, and
the Boston tariff reformers must act
accordingly.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-08-03
The Only Way.

There is no way to maintain the
health and strength of mind and body
except by nourishment. There is no
way to nourish except through the stom-
ach. The stomach must be kept healthy
pure and sweet or the strength will let
down and disease will set up. No ap-
petite, loss of strength, nervousness,
headache, constipation, bad breath, sour
risings, indigestion, dyspepsia and all
stomach troubles that are durable are
quickly cured by the use of Kodol Dys-
pepsia Cure. Kodol digests what you
eat and strengthens the whole digestive
apparatus. Sold by Burke & Co.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-08-03

The Massachusetts Democratic state
committee has appealed to Governor
Douglas to reconsider his determine
ton not to be q candidate for re-elec-
ton. The Boston Post Dem.) assures
the governor that lit Is no empty or
formal compliment which the represent-
atives of the Democratic organization
offer Governor Douglas in this appeal.
but it is the expression of Il sentiment
widely %pervading the commonwealth
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-08-03
DANGEROUS and Uncertain.

For sunburn, letter and all skin and
scalp diseases, DeWitt's Witch Hazel
Salve has no equal. 1t is a certain cure
for blind, bleeding, itching and protrud-
ing piles. 1t will draw the fire out of a
burn and heal without leaving a scar.
Boils, old sores, c%arbuncles, etc, are
quickly cured by the use of the genuine
DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve. Accept
no substitute as they are often danger
Gus and uncertain. Sold by Burke & Co.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-08-03

Both Senator Burton Of Kansas and
Senator Mitchell Of Oregon are still
drawing their pay as United States
senators. although convicted Of graft
Ing. It's almost impossible to v a
Republican office holder from counec-
ton with a government payroll unless
he is dismissed from the service. Re
signf Never,
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-08-03
D%reSsmakinQ ParIOrs.

| wish to that l have moved
from my former residence on Second
Street to the second house south of the
Mcdonald & Colvin blacksmith shop on
Fourth street, where | have opened
dress making parlors and will be pleased
to receive the orders of any customers
requiring work done. I guarantee work
satisfactory and prices moderate.
Mrs. MADGE PALMER.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-08-03
For Sale by II. D. PARSONS
Take Kod0I After Eatino.

After a hearty meal a dose of Kodol
Dyspepsia Cure will prevent an attack
of Indigestion. Kodol is a thorough
digestant and a guaranteed cure for In
digestion, Dyspepsia, Gas on the Stom-
ach, Weak Heart, Sour Risings, Bad
Breath and all Stomach troubles. Sold
bv Burke g. Co.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-08-03
Hard Lot of Moorish Women.

Feminine Moors are generally abso-
lutely ignorant of their age. Among
Moorish women this is a point Of
honor, but it is really no affectation,
for as their birthdays are never cele.
brated tn any manner the passage Of
the years is far less noticed than it is
with us.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-08-03
Soothing and Cooling.

The salve that heals without a scar is
DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve. No remedy
effects such speedy relief. 1t draws out
Inflammation, soothes, cools and heals
all cuts, burns and bruises. A sure cure
for Piles and skin diseases. DeWitts
is the only genuine Witch Hazel Salve.
Beware of counterfeits, they are danger
Gus. Sold by Burke s. Co.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-08-03
Pleasantly Effective.

Never in the way, no trouble to carry,
easy to take, pleasant and never failing
in results are DeWitt's Little Early
Risers. These famous little pills are a
certain guarantee against headache,
biliousness, torpid liver and all of the
ills resulting from constipation. They
tonic and strengthen the liver. Cure
Jaundice. Sold by Burke i Co.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-08-03

The beef barons are depending upon
that Chicago grand Jury to sny when
they can take their vacation, but those
who fed to Canada do not seem In
clincd to return TO business.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-08-03
sneezino Evident of strenoth.

Sneezirg has been said by at least
Ole great medical authority to be evil
derce of a robust constitution. In
proof of this he declared that people
in feeble health never do sneeze.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-08-03
To SteriIize Mater,

Tincture of iodine is valuable for
sterilizing water: four drops in a ca
rafe of water is sufie!ent to render
the liquid fit for drinking purposes
within half an hour.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-08-03

Dear Gus:-l have solved the mother
in-law problem. just give her regularly
HOLSTERS Rocky Mountain Tea. 1t Will
make her healthy, happy and docile as
a lamb. 80 cents. Tea or Tablets. Sold
bv Burke Il Co.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-08-03

If you are troubled with dizzy spells,
headache, indigestion, constipation,
HOLSTERS Rocky Mountain Tea will
make you we'll and keep you we'll. If il
fails get your money back. That's fair
33 cents. Burke & Co.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-08-03
An Adept.

Why should wan to read The
,:r;age Gau1e?'" said the married
70 the pretty oma who was
ing to discuss books with him. 81
acting Il OF my own"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-08-03
Japanese Public Ovens.

y nearly every street in Japanese
IS is a public oven where, for a
il fee, housewives may have their
ers and suppers cooked for them.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-08-03
LEWIS.CLARK CENTENNIAL EXPOSITION.
At Portland, Ore, June l to October l5-Ex-
cursion Rates to Portland, Oregon, From all
North Dakotan Points.

To Portland Ore, and return, from all
North Dakota points s45. Dates of sale:
May %, "a, %, %, 80, 81.
June ., Is, IA, Is, 10, %, "a, 81, %, %
30. Up to and including September %,
Final return limit 80 days from date OF
sale, but in no case later than Novem.
Der 80, 1905. Transit limits and stop
overs: Going trip must begin on date
of sale. Going via Great Northern Rail
way, stop overs will be allowed west OF
of Larimore at any point up to destina-
ton within final limit. Children: Fol-
children five years of age and under
twelve, one half of the adult rate may be
used. For further information call on
the local ticket agent.
TNho IT = y, " II n ro1p hn011 q p n r
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1905-08-03
Franoipani's Valuable Discovery.

Frangipani's Valuable Discovery.
Count Mauritius Frangipani was the
discoverer Of the process of combining
with odoriferous substances and there
by presented US with a hundred aroma
tic havors, toilet waters and cosmetics