West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1905-11-30

Governor and Promoter. My friends
tell me | am not doing justice to
either, so / concluded TO turn the
office of Promoter over to Farmer
Gale. He has had long and varied
experience as a promoter of phos
phate and coal lands. He is known
to most every farmer in the State.
He worked the farmers both ways.
He would sell them his phosphate
and buy their coal. 1t was his pro
noting that placed ex-Gov. White
and Gov. Dawson on the market as
Coal Barons, and Elder Whetsell,
of the Old Family Journal, is unkind
enough to say that our new tax laws
were promulgated to destroy coal
barons. How cruel OF the Elder
who is always called upon to lead
the praying for the salvation Of man
kind, which includes coal barons.
Farmer Gale will remain with me
as Promoter until Gov. Dawson re.
turns. We shall need plenty OF
phosphate to make fertile soil If our
Machine is to flourish and grow.
l would suggest to my friends
back In Preston that they corral the
two year old colts and stable them
for the winter. They are raising
too much of family quarrel to be
allowed to run at large. Elder
Whetsell writes me that the sight of
a two year old colt sets him wild
with rage. From the tone of his
editorials l knew he was furious but
| could not fathom toe cause. 1
thoroughly understand it now. 1t
is case Of too much colt. Stable
the colts, Elder, stable them at once.
AS l write this the messenger boy
hands me a cablegram from Gov
Dawson, which reads as follows:
"My tax laws having taken a firm
root in the Cuban soil am prepar
ing to leave the Island. My efforts
in behalf of President Palma have
been entirely satisfactory TO the Gu
ban President. Having driven
Gomez cut of the country there is
no one left to dispute with Palma
over the pies. | am the only man
on the Island today that could take
the pies away from him. l have
been offered everything from the
Presidency down. 1t was hard for
such an ardent pieman as myself to
refuse such great honors. But like
Elijah Dowie i have greater spirit
ual mission before me. There are
those who are so lacking in Christ
ian spirit as to call Elijah and my
self takers. and that we reserve 90
per cent of the dough in order to
make the mare travel at a more
rapid gait, are the ones who have
never come under our political and
spiritual influence. Once the magic
wand has been placed on them they
never question our good intentions.
As to what the magic wand has
done for me back in Preston have
only to cite you TO the Jim Commit
tee and the Old Family Journal,
other than with deep respect and
reverence. They hold it sacred,
which it is to all piemen.
81 will leave for South Africa to
morrow, carrying with me, besides
my famous tax laws, the respect and
best wishes of the Cuban people.
AS you will not hear from me for
some time / admonish you to guard
well the pies, the Machine and my
tax laws. For without them you
can never hope to become an Elijah
or Tax Reformer.
"KIndest regards TO Senator FL
kins and warn him too keep a vigi-
liant eye on Teter and Gomez, whom
learn are conspiring to rob him of
his pie. If this should come to pass
- HiSohS hCaAh W tue mdCniney ana
once the Machine is dead there is
no protection for the pies and my
tax laws"
From the above eablegram have
lost all hopes of the Governor re-
turning. When he lands in the dia-
mond fields Of South Africa he will
become so dazzled that he can never
find his way back. Should the Beers
take him for Dom Paul returning
from the spiritland I may as we'll
proclaim myself the real Governor.
He can never escape from the Beers
once recognized as Dom Paul. The
contemplation is too sad. / must
adjourn to my room with the hole
IN the wall and extract iherefrom
something that will paint Joy and
hilarity in my brain.
THE RAMBLER.
=u-
A well known Chicago clergyman
who is a widoyer and the fstbc, ~. &