The Delta independent., 1905-12-22
! Jests and Jin9les
By James Barton Adams

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A Backward squiat.
You grey -pated fellows. pray give your attention
For Just II few moments until recall
A pleasure the poets hut rarely give mention
The sweetest one on this terrestrial ball.
Pray do you remember now, no evasion =
How nadly yonr brain in its pan seemed to
whirl
On that heaven sanctioned. eventful occasion,
The first time you ever s,it up with girl!
Your heart seemed to- switch from its heat to u
Your speech wis impeded by Jumps in the
throat,
Your red tongue rele,led till you scarcely could
utter
The sweet things you d planned to speak glibly
by note.
You hurl,ored IA sort of u dread intuition
She d think you stupid, half-isnorant churl;
q. were you not placed in painful position
The first time you sat up with girl:
But when the embarrassment ice had been shat
tered
And speech from your lips ceased to flash in the
pan
Your fears to the four winds of heaven were scat-
tered,
And then the nal pleasure Of sparkling began
Tow.ri .ou she d bend t!.1 she mi,t better hear
you,
And tckle your eur with struy trunnt curl!
O!uIdnt tine 9,Dries of nesiven s.em near You
Tnc iirst time you ever sat up with girl!
In the still wee sma hours in her darkened HON
portal
You is,tie l.er good matchmaking more would
You dare
And you tripped home, self-satisteti mortal
You seemed to In waking on niritiesl air.
Though nearing the end of your earthly prolsa-
ton,
Your oih heart aann will indulge IN whirl.
Ypur old breast viii echo the THRILLING sensation
ivu feit the Inst time you up xIrl.
1t is announced that the Nebraska
legislature is to hold "corn session. "
Pone, or otherwise, may we ask.
A certain young man of this vicinity
is such a strenuous hugger that his best
girl calls him beau constructor.
Senator Depew can see in Mark
Twain an example of what humorist
may come to by keeping out of politics.
Parks close at 10 o'clock. That
looks dark for spooners. says a Los
Angeles paper. Spooners, as rule,
prefer darkness.
It might make the start easier for
you if you would now begin to practice
the good resolutions you intend to make
at the dawn of the new year.
While number Of miners were sing
ing hymn in Joplin, Missouri, boul-
der fell and killed two of them. whose
voices were perhaps out of tune.
People who yet hunger for football
may have the craving in a measure
stilled by watching the plays at
christmas goods bargain counters.
A,Colorado old maid who is a believer
In the Darwinian theory has purchased
monkey as last resort. hoping it
may some day "evolute" into a man.
The value of farm products in the
United States this year will amount to
oyer &C, 600, O0O, 900, and there is wide
difference Of opinion as to whether
bountiful providence or the Republican
administration should be given credit
for it.
A United States court has imposed
fine Of $500 on two land thieves. The
punishment is far too lenient. They
should have also been reprimanded.
The horrors of war
From the countries afar
The newspapers no longer defle,
But we, Il sure have enough
OF sensational stuff
From congress to certainly hold US a
while.
An exchange refers to millionaire
Corey ''basking in the sunshine of a
soubrette's wanton wiles." Wouldn't
'.sinshine" be more appropriate?