Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-12-25
CLERICAL BLUNDERS.
Humorous Mistakes Made by Pastors
In the Pulpit.

From Chambers Journal.
Each profession has its stock jokes, it's
stories innumerable, and to each belongs a
flavor all It's own. That the point Of a jest
lies not In the tongue of him who makes It.
but In the ear that hears. Is the testimony
OF the great dramatist. The doctor on his
| rounds and the judge upon the bench have
both an audience ready and willing to ac-
cept as the highest wit the bon mots of the
speakers: and there Is no club or gathering
of men that does not acclaim one of its
members as supreme in this respect, and
are ready to yield due recognition of the
gift There is. however, vast amount of
unconscious hunlor always floating about,
and to those who perceive 1t the world Is
ever very amusing. 1t must be admitted
that the blunders and tests clerical stand
for some reason pre-eminent both in num-
Der and in mirth producing qualities The
reason. of course. is not far to seek: the
very surroundings in which they occur, the
very upsetting Of ones preconceived notions
of reverence, all tend to cause reaction In
the ordinary mental equilibrium, and the
simplest mistake or accident under such
circumstances assumes the proportions of q
huge comedy.
The divine who In drawing the attention
of his congregation to special communion
service the following Sunday informed
them that the Lord is with us in the fore
noon and the bishop in the evening Is
chronicled with praying for the children OF
his parish In these words: And now, .
Lord. bless the lambs Of this fold, and
make them meet for the kingdom of
heaven" While a Scotch minister inno-
Gently. perhaps, hit the mark by telling his
people: "Weel, friends. the kirk Is urgently
in need of siller; and as we have failed to
get money honestly. we will have to see
what bazaar can do for U.S.
There is certain amount or excuse to be
made for the young curate who remarklng
hot QTpa n mr. II
better reason than to show off their best
clothes, finished up as he glanced over his
audience: 'T am thankful to see dear
friends, that none of you have come here
for that reason
An Irish clergyman Is credited with hay
ing concluded powerful Grafton in this
fashion: My brethren, let not this world
rob you of peace which 1t can neither
with the remark of fellow country col
league who in reasoning with a woman
who had lost her faith in Christianity told
her: We'll. you will go to hell. you know;
and l shall be very sorry, indeed, to see you
therel''
But what can be said of the negro student
who, conducting the prayers at one of the
great missionary colleges, said: Give US
ali pure hearts, give us all clean hearts,
give US all sweet hearts," to which the
entire congregation made response. Amen
The giving out of church notices has often
proved a pitfall for the unwary. During
Lent" said a rector lately, several preach
ers will preach on Wednesday evenings; but
need not give their names, as they VIII
be all found hanging up in the porch.
1t was a rector who gave out hymn
beginning Awake, my soul, stretch every
nerve" before his sermon, and curate
who read in the lesson for the day. he
spake the words, and cathoppers came ana
grassipillars innumerable," but it was at
young womans Bible class that. when
asked what hymn should be sung at the
close they all with one accord chose where
is my wandering boy tonight