The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-04-02
SOME YOUTHFUL EXPERIENCE
A Scientific Discussion on the Early
Training of Boys from a Business
Standpoint With "reminiscences OF
Early Days at Sunday School.
Astoria, April 1,

In discussing this important subjec
you can read between the lines wha
/ have had practical experience in tn
subject matter, We don't send III
boys and girls OF Astoria to the higl
school or college to learn to shoot crap:
or shake dice, but to get an education
We want you to get a little of the
education that is about the only thins
that is lying around loose in this world
and that is about the only thing that
fellow can have as much of as hes
willing to haul away Everything els2
is screwed down tight ana the screw
driver is lost.
| am anxious that you should be a
good schollar-like me. but am more
anxious that you should be a good, clean
man. And if you graduate with a
sound conscience. shan't care so much
il there are a few holes in your Latin.
There are two parts to a college educa-
tion--the part you get in the school
room from the teachers and the part
you get outside from the boys. Tnat's
the really important part. for the first
can only make you a scholar, while
the second can make you q man.
Education is a good deal like eating
"a fellow can't always tell which par
ticular thing did him the most good,
but he can usually tell which one did
him harm. After a square meal of
roast beef and vegetables ana mince
pie and watermelon, you can't just say
which ingredient is going into muscle,
but you don't have to be very bright to
figure out which one started the de-
mand for pain-killer in your insides
or TO guess the next morning which
one made YOU believe in personal
devil the night before And so while a
fellow can't figure out to an ounce
whether it's Latin or algebra or his
tory or what among the solids that is
building him up in this place or that,
he can go right along feeding them in
and betting that they're not the things
that turn his tongue fuzzy.
Does a college education pay? Does
il pay to feed in pork trimmings at B
cents pound at the hopper and draw
out nice, cunning little country" sau-
sages at 20 cents pound at the other
end? Does it pay to take a steer that's
been running from Seaside to Skip
panon. and living on Canada Thistles
and petrified wood till he's just a
bunch OF barbed wire and sole leather
and feed him corn till he's just a solid
hunk of porterhouse steak and ole oil
You bet it pays! Anything extra that
trains a boy to think and to think
quick pays Schools don't make fools.
1t develops them. 1t don't make bright
men. 1t develops them. A fool will
be a fool whether he goes to school OF
not through he'll probably turn out a
different sort Of a fool.
OF course all this is going to take
so much time and thought that you
won't have a very wide margin left
for golf-especially in the afternoons
Golf is a nice foolish game and there
amt any harm in it so far as l know
except for the balls-the stiff balls
at the beginning, the lost balls in the
middle and the high balls at the end
of the game. OF course a boy should
have a certain amount Of play, just as
boy is entitled TO a pice Of pie at
the end Of his dinner, but he don't
want to make a meal Of it. Anyone
who let's sinkers take the place of
bread and meat gets bilious pretty
young, and those fellows who haven't
any job, except to blow the old mans
dollars in, are good deal like the
little niggers in the pie eating contests
at the country fair-they've plenty of
pastry and they are attracting a heap
of attention, but they've got stom-
ach ache coming to them bye and bye.
l never see one of these ignorant
smart alecks swelling around with
their petty larceny pride, that / don't
think of a little experience Of mine
when I was a boy An old fellow
caught me lifting a water melon in
his patch one afternoon, and instead of
cutting me and letting me go, as had
expected, if I got caught, he led me
home by the ear to my ma and told her
what I had been up to. Ma had been
raised on the old-fashioned plan, and
she had never heard Of these new
tangled theories Of reasoning gently
with child till its under lip begins to
stick out anj its eyes fill with tears
as it sees the error Of it's ways. She
fetched the tears all right, but she did
it with a trunk strap or slipper, ana
ma was a pretty substantial woman.
Nothing of the tootsy- -wootsy about
her foot and nothing of the airy-fairy
trife about her slipper. When she was