Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1905-12-29
THE MENTAL PHOTOGRAPHS.
one Of Mark TwaIn's Amusing sIIts.
IBuHalo Expressl

One Of Mark Twaln's Amusing skits.
buffalo Expressl
1 have received from the publishers.
Leypoldt & Holt. New York. neatly
printed page Of questions. with blanks
for answers, and I am requested to al
those blanks These questions are 50
arranged as to ferret out the most secret
points Of a mans nature without his ever
noticing what the idea Is until the thing
IS done and his character gone for
ever. A number Of these sheets are
bound together and called a Mental
Photograph Album. Nothing could induce
me to an those blanks but the assevera,-
ton Of these gentlemen that IL win bene-
at my race by enabling young people to
see what am. and giving them an op-
portunity to become like somebody else
This candor overcomes my scruples-
have but little character, but what
have I am willing to part with for the
public good / would have been a better
man II I had had a chance, but things
have always been against me. / never had
any parents. hardly-oniy just a father
and mother-and 50 have had to struggle
along the best way l could do not
boaS Of this character. further than I
built 1t up myself. at odd hours. during
the last thirty years. and without other
educational aid than was able to pick up
In the ordinary schools and colleges. /
have filed the blanks as follows;
WHAT IS YOUR FAvoRITE
COlor?-Anything but dun.
Fiower7-The night-bIooming Sirius.'
Tree2-Auy that bears forbidden fruit
Object N Nature7-A dumb belle
Hour In the Dayl-The leisure hour.
Season Of the Year7-The lecture SEA
son
Perfume!-Cent per cent
Gem?-The jack Of diamonds when # Il
trump.
style Of Beauty:-The Subscribers
Names, Male and Femalef-Naimez
/ (Naimie). for a female, and Tacus and
/ Marfus. for males
Painters7-Sign painters.
observation-disclosures & Brothers.
Piece q Sculpture7-The Greek Slave.
with his bod
Poet9-Robert Browning. when he has
lucid interval
Poetess7-Timothy Titcomb.
Prose Author7-Noah Webster, LID.
Characters in Reconnaissance Byron
Family.
In Hissory2-Jack the Giant killer.
Book 70 take Up for an hour2-Vander-
| bits pocketbook
/ What book mot religious would you
I part with last2-The one might happen
| TO be reading on q railroad during the
disaster season
What Epoch would you choose to have
I lived in:-Before the present Erie-it was
I safer.
where would you ike to Hvee-In the
moon, because there IS no water there
! Favorite amusement Hunting the
/ tiger" or some kindred game
/ Favorfte occupation?-~Lfke dew on the
f gowan-lying.'
/ What trait Of Character do you most
admire in Man?-The noblest form OF
l eannfbaIism-love for his fellowman.
In Woman7-Love for her feIlowman
/ What trait do you most detest in each7
I That trait which you put or to. to
describe its possessor.
II not yourself. who would you rather
be?-The Wandering Jew. with a nice an
nuity
what is your idea Of happiness?-Find-
I ing the buttons all on
Your idea OF Misery7-Breaking an egg
[ In your pocket
What is your bette noir?-Cwhat is my
I whichD
What is your dream?-Nightmare as a
general thing.
What do you most dread?-Exposure
What do you believe 10 be your DiStin-
gushing Characteristic --Hunger.
What is the Sublimest Passion Of which
| Human Nature IS capable7-Loving your
/ sWeetheart's enemies
What are the sweetest words in the
World.-''Not Guilty"
What are the saddest Dust unto
Dust
What IS your Aim in Iife1-To en-
dsavor 70 be absent when my time comes
What Is your motto?-Be virtuous and
you viii be eccentric
But. testing aside. the Mental Photo
graph Album Is a novel and ingenious
idea II one viii take the trouble to
write answers to those questions. serious
" and conscientiously. he VIII discover.
when he Is done. that he has made q
record whereby a stranger may gather a
pretty fair estimate OF his real nature
and the peculiar bent OF his character.
A WeIl-flled album OF this kind ought 70
make an entertaining book to take up
for an hour. Il Marx Twain
Il grant you this is little obscure; but
In explaining to the unfortunate that
Sirius Is the dog-star and blooms only at
night. l am afforded an opportunity to
air my erudition- ut is only lately ae-
quired-l