The Tupelo journal., 1905-08-25

Happiness-Young Woman Should
Not Wed Man with Daughter Her
Own Age.
BY MARGARET Z. SANGSTER.
Copyright, 1905, by Joseph b. Bowles.)
In a little hamlet by the sea. never
mind where, there dwells a family to
the members of which exceptional good
fortune has been granted. Several
years age the father and mother cele-
brated their golden wedding, surround
ed by their children and grandchildren,
an unbroken circle. No death had in
vaded their ranks. There was no va
cant chair at any table. Such continu-
ity of blessing is exceptional and de-
lightful, but most families undergo loss
and change, and not all who love one
another are privileged to live together
to the very end of their days.
When husband or wife is taken away,
there is an upheaval in the home, as II
an earthquake OF a cyclone had swept
the house from it's foundation. The
survivor feels at first as If the world
had come to an end. 1t does not seem
as though ever again there a be JOY
and gladness in the universe, or any
chance of going on. Things have col
lapsed for the hour.
Outsiders are very apt to gauge the
fidelity to an ideal of man or woman
by the length of time that passes be-
fore there is an effort to fill the empty
place. 1t is, however, only in accord
ance with a law of nature that there
shall be, after a time, cessation OF grief
and the effort to go on again under
new conditions, and with a new part
ner.
Nature always hastens to repair her
waste places. Flowers spring up and
bloom in the track that has been swept
by fire. The greenest spots are those
where battles have been fought.
No grief should last forever. 1t i'm
plies not the slightest disrespect, hard
ly forgetfulness of the past, in begin
ming again a new chapter of life, in
new circumstances, with some one else.
In most cases it is inevitable that a
desolate heart should snatch at some
probability of renewed comfort and
that there should be once again the en-
joyment of home life which is incom-
plete to the widowed.
1t is the outsider who has nothing to
do with it who generally feels and ex-
presses most jealousy at a second mar
riage of neighbor or friend. 1t hap
pens, too, that often there is apparent
ly good cause for this impersonal jeal-
ousy. For instance, a husband who
was sufficiently devoted to a first wife,
yet who made no fuss about her, who
surrounded her with few delicate atten-
tions, and took for granted all the sac
rifices she made, is often most gallant
and lover-like in his attitude to his sec
Ond wife. She comes to him after the
first difficult strife of youth, to acquire
q competence, is. over In a way, she
inherits the s~elf-denial and sacrifice of
her predecessor. The wife of the mans
skimped, had few outings, and seldom
a long holiday. A handsome gown vas
perhaps an event to her. She was sat
isfied with few Injuries. She was help
ing her husband to get a firm foothold,
and make his money. By and by, it
may be, worn out with incessalt labor.
she slipped away into the grave.
The woman who, after a decent in
terval of mourning, has taken her place
is younger, prettier, and much less in
clined to strenuous domesticity than
she was. She wears dainty gowns
her wardrobe. Her st~ep-children do not
weigh heavily on her hands, the older
ones being promptly sent to school,
and the younger ones put under the
care of a nurse or gOverness. This
wife has leisure, retains her good looks,
is her husbands comrade and COM
panion everywhere, and has the joy
always priced by a woman of knowing
that he is proud of her. Not infre-
quently the lot of a second wife is far
more enviable and desirable than that
Of her who was wooed and won in the
freshness of early girlhood.
There is room in the same breast for
faithful love as we all know, in more
than one direction. We love our friends,
our parents, our children, and the vari-
Gus affections do not crowd or jostle
or quarrel one with another. We Iowa
people for different reasons, and along
different lines. Thus, a second mar
riage may be equally as congenial and
equally as beneficial in it's results to
both parties as the first, If only it be
not a marriage of convenience. When
people marry for any lower reason than
mutual esteem, and q wish to help one
another on the road of life, they are
likely to arrive at failure and disap-
pointment. They have dared to lay pro-
fame hands on the ark Of God.
II a m marry her second hus-
band because he has wealth and can
give her opportunities for herself, or
for the children of her own first mar
rage, that otherwise she cannot COM
pass, she is taking a tremendous risk
OF one such marriage l think, where
the gallantry of the lover fell away like
q husk the day after the wedding, and
the wife found herself united indeed
to a millionaire, but as well to a sordid
miser. From the ample house to which
he took her the hired help was sent
away, and she was bluntly told that
he married her that he might saw
money.