Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-07-08
AREN'T you feeling yourself todayi"
"Never felt better"

Never felt better"
The man made some remark about
the weather and passed on. On the cor
ner he met the coal man and said:
"You know Bowser, Of course? What
in thunder ails him?"
"How-why?"
II was just talking to him. He seems
to be loafing around home today. ]
offered him an auto at half price and
he turned me down"
HE did, Ell? Well, I haven't seen
him for four or five days, but If he
refused to grab for that auto then you
can bet he's getting wrong in the head
I've always said that he'd have soften
Ing of the brain some time"
Meanwhile, down at the house, po-
tato peddler had come along. He knew
that Mr.. Bowser had thrown three of
the profession over the fence within
year and told the cook he'd discharge
her II she even bought a turnip Of
them, but the sight Of his enemy sitting
on the top step 30 calmly and COM
placently and looking SO harmless in
the eyes Of all emboldened him to stop
/ his rig at the curb and to say over the
gate,
Judge, can I sell you few Eaters
today? I've got load Of boss ones
here
| The words foated up to Mrs. Bowser
and gave her chill. She was getting
ready to run downstairs to prevent
q tragedy when she heard Mr.. Bowser
reply
II hardly think we need any pota-
toes today. Thank you for calling my
attention to them. They do look nice"
1--WE got some fine cabbages here"
Eyes, they are fine, but l guess I
don't want any"
How about beetsY
mo beets, thank you. Call again
as you come along tomorrow"
Mr.. Bowser's attitude not only made
Mrs. Bowser gasp for breath, but the
| peddler turned pale and mounted his
wagon and got around the nearest cor
ner as fast as he could. There he met
another of his kind coming from the
| opposite direction and shouted to him:
Say, If you turn into Third place,
look out for old Bowser."
"WhyT $685. $50 ~s-..S &2G
"He's home and sitting on the steps.
and he tried his best to lure me inside
the gate by talking soft. = Say, II I'd
gone in he would have tossed me- ten
feet high. You beware of him unless
you want to leave a widow behind
you" y
Between that hour and IL O'Clock
Mr.. Bowser encountered an old man,
boy distributing bills and q member
Of tinware, and his reception of them
was so kind and gentle that Mrs Bow
ser told the cook to have lunch on the
very minute and to hold herself In
readiness to run the instant she heard
any strange rumbles. At the lunch
table she asked:
you were not thinking Of painting
the house today, were you"
"No, dear"
"Nor of fixing the water pipes, nor
anything?" - Jos
"No."
When lunch was over, he stood
around for awhile, and then, putting
on his hat, he strolled over to the
butchers. As he never entered the
shop except to kick, the butcher began
to'bristle up and get ready for row.
None came, however. Instead Of kick
Mr.. Bowser softly observed: z.
@:'sI have noticed such an improve
ment in the meat during the last three
months that thought I'd drop in and
tell you how pleased and satisfied am
II every one had as conscientious q
butcher as you are things would run
smoother" *.4-%'.~' -'s. -
. "Bowser, do you mean ft?'' asked the
butcher as he wonderedif he had heard
Alright @H SS~5 20 ..s;''
~"Of course meanit" = rs
'Then shake. l have said that you
were a chronic kicker, but take all
back" 9
From the butcher shop Mr.. Bowser
went over to the drug store. He and
the druggist had given each other
many hard rub, and as the latter
caught sight Of him through the win
dow he said to his clerk:
There comes that old kicker, Bow
ser. Wonder what the devil he Is home
this time of day for? II he gives me
any Of his chin music I'll order him
out"
He didn't have to proceed to that ex-
tremity. Mr.. Bowser sauntered in with
smile on his face, and after asking
for a cents worth of slippery elm he
said:
"Grimshaw, don't know but you've
got the impression that I'm a sort of
kicker"
well, you are little eccentric"
That's all, and that's only when my
sciatica bothers me. have repeatedly
recommended you as the best druggist
In town and shall take pleasure in con-
tinufng to do So"
Thence he went to the coal office
Every week he had been in the habit