The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1905-05-25
COULD REALLY SHORE.

Washington Star: The fat sleeper
I'm the middle OF the smoking car was
snoring like lumberjack after the
spring drive.
The man with the store clothes and
the black glazed bag, In the seat be-
hind. regarded the fat sleeper curious
Right smart on the snore. hey?' he
remarked To his seatmate. who nodded.
That In To say" went on the man
with the black glazed bag, he's some
on the snore az snorin' goes back this
away. but his work sounds like n
jewsharp alongside bass drum In
comparison with the snorin' o F1eks
Pluffey, out my way"
"F'icks," commented the seatmate OF
the man with the black glazed bag.
must ha' been n some noisy slumber-
err"
That's what Ficks was" said the
man with the black glazed bag. "Ficks
holds the Kansas record for snorin' at
all distances. from n jump TO four
miles. and there's n heap o powerful
snorers out In Kansas, at that. Ficks
Plunfey druv coal wagon out In
Leavenworth, and he lived next door
me. So ought 4 know. Ficks KEEP
me shorin' up my shack with railroad
ties for 1--WE years, on account OF his
snorin'. Al that. Ficks snored so hard
one night that the blamed wickleup fell
In on me VILE I was In my bunk, and
I like to've piped out right then That
was when the town got together and
made Ficks sleep out In the woods.
1T was n real drawback L Ficks, his
snorin'. II sure was. He was always
gettin' into some kind OF n mess along
O. his snorin'. / never VIII fgct the
time he broke up all the cavalry horses
at Fort Leavenworth. The soldiers
havin' what they call monkey and Cos
sack drill on the p'rade groun' on the
Fourth o. July. and Ficks Pluney took
a run up TO the post TO look IL over.
VILE waitin' rr the boss soldiers Z
show up Ficks picked out soft piece
a. grass under a tree over Z the left o
the p'rade g.oun'. and from chewin' on
blades o. grass and loafin there In the
shade. what does Ficks do but git 4
slumberin. He was OF In n spot by
hisself. and nobody knowed that Ficks
was anywhere near the post.
We'll. the HOSES with their riders
came a-rompin' out, a hull regiment.
and purity soon they got { dom them
fancy circus tricks. a-slowIn' the hosses
up some SOS L be able L hang on.
Well. sir, ey'ry one O. them soldiers was
a-suandin' on his head on his hoss's
back, the hosses gOin' slow and even
like. when-ta- IA -ra -ra-went the
trumpet call that meant CHARGE IL
WAS on'y FiCks wakin' up and lettin'
out n final snore blast. but the bosses
didn't know that, and neither did the
soldiers. rr ~ sounded Jes' as much like
the trumpet call 4 charge as the
charge Itself. Now. all o. them bosses
In the Fort Leavenworth cavalry had
been out In Iniun fights, and the
charge 4 them was like what a bar
keeps bungstarter 'ud be L me and
you. II started EN-.
"Ev'ry one O. them thousan' and odd
hosses jes' give one big jump at the
sound. and away they went. eyTy last
soldier a-fallIn' ofi-they was standln'
on their heads on the hosses' backs at
the time, I think I Northumberland
| eV'ry one O. them comm burned peril
Gus near L breakln' their necks. The
bosses, not KNOWN what was doin'
without their riders. siampeded fr the
| tall brush rr fair. and most OF 'em ran
| about twenty-five miles before they
was corraled. and that want I'll Ave
| days later on. Most o. the soldiers had
L 40 4 the hospital rr repairs. bein'
all bunged up from fallin' on their
| heads, and you kin bet the kunnel O.
| the regiment Was more. than red-head-
| ed about H. Then an officers kid that
! had slipped up clus 4 Were Ficks lay
| told the old man that Il had been Ficks
| Pluffey that had sounded the charge
a-snorin'. and FiCkS had Z stink up 4
| Atchison and stay there a month or so
| I'LL the thing blowed over. or the SOL
| diers would sure ha' killed him.
We'll. even VILE that hard luck
| Ficks was up In Atchison he couldn't
| keep out q trouble on account o his
| snorin'. He came so near wreckin' a
/ freight and passenger train by brinRin'
/ EN- tRether headOn that the railroad
/ folks threatened L send him L state
! prison rr life IL he didn't make a move
\ back 4 Were he came from.
] IL
! night In Clump O bushes alongside
/ the railroad track, when a long freight
/ train pulled up Clus Were ne lay.
/ There was a hot box or someth!n' the
/ matter with the engine. and the freight
! had L be stopped right there on the
/ main track.
The overland express from the other
! direction was due right then, too, and
| a brakeman was ies' startin' forward
with "A red lantern { signal the passen-
ger train L pull w until the freight
! could get under way 4 make the sidln'.
| wen. 10 and b'hold. the whistle a. the
| passenger train Was heard ia the dis
lance up the track. Well. that whistle
| a. the passenge. train sort O. got FiCks
Plufrey L dreamln', as he lay there
| alongside the track. and durn my
| whiskers IL he didn't In his sleep lei
| out "A snore that could ha' been heard
| ten miles. and that meant all right
| track Clear-we're on the sidin. The
freight crew was 30 kerfiummoxed rr
| a minnit that they didn't know which
way 4 turn, but they heard the passen-
ger train a-thunderin' down upon them.
and the brakeman he'd Jes time 4 rush
forward. wavin' his red lantern with
all his might. and stop the passenger
! train. the engine O which came 4 a
halt on'y about an eighth OF an inch
| away from the helpless freight engine
II
ed in western raIlroadin', and wen the
two crews investigated the source q
the snored whistle and found Ficks stu
asleep. they booted him awake and