The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-07-31
led out of the hall between Anthony

led out of the hall between Anthony
Tyler and Kurnel Cabiff.
You applaud now, my frens, but wait
a mint You have sawn only one side
of de picture. From the mint a man
gifts rich de book agents are arter him;
eberybody who has eber bowed to him
wants to borry ten dollars; de grocer
beats him, de butcher swindles him.
and de policeman on dat beat stands in
wild his cook and is furnished wild all
de lemon pie he kin devour. De rich
man am game for all. He has got to
go to church cherry Sunday. no matter
how good de f1shin' am. and when he's
dar he's got to sot way up in front
Whar eberybody kin see de wrinkles in
de back of his coat. How often do you
s'pcse de rich man has a billed dinner?
Not once a var. He dassent have. 1t
hain't catosh in his circle. Did you eb-
Der see rich man sittin' on de top
rail of fence eating a raw turnlp
Nebber in your life. He's got to sit
down on a stuffed-ehazz home and
eat oranges. Has riehsznan got hog
pen in his back yard where he kin go
out and scratch de back of a hog wild a
stick and hear de critter chuckle wild
pleasure? Kin de rich man sot around
de grocery in de evenin' in his shirt
sleeves, or dare drink his 'lasses out OF
a jug? Do you ebber hear of his goln
fishin or skatin' or off arter buckle
berries? Not on your lifei tremendous
applause.)
IAN de rich man kin do am to be
rich and have heaps of trubble. He's
got to eat what he don't like, dress as
he don't want to, and hang around de
Waldorf-Astoria when he'd heap
rather be out on the commons playin'
ball wild de boys. His wife IS arter MIN
all de time fur mo- diamonds, his boys
am runnin' around and marryfn' chorus
gals and his darterS am cryin' to go to
Europe and buy out Switzerland
(GroanS of sympathy
Il has knowed as many as seben rich
men in my time, and 1 has had private
talks wild dem ALL When dey found dat
l was Junius Juniper Johnson, of Jack
son, dey Just talked to me in confidence.
Ebery one of dose seben men told me
dat he'd glib his old butes to be pore
and happy man agin. Dey. couldn' [
chen glib dere money away and be pore
like de rest of US. DER wives wouldn't
let 'em do it. Dey had to keep right on
bein' rich and havin' truhble day in
and day out, and it will not surprise
you to hear dat dey all died befor' DER
time. (Sensation.)
my dear frens, don't sigh to be rich.
Don't plan and scheme for wealth
Don't envy de millyonaire. Oars bosses
and carriages in bein' rich, but what S
de use of bosses and carriages when you
kin ride on a street kyar? hab sum-
med it up and fingered it out, and I'm
tellin' you dat de man who am libbin'
in q. cottage and wearin' one shirt all de
week through am happier dan any
millyonaire dat kin be named. I did
not come sheah to make any distended
remarks but simply to SOW a few seeds
by de wayside Remain pore and happy.
Remain pore and respectable. When
you take from a man de privilege of
sittin' on his doahsteps in his shirt
sleeves, wild an old hen cacklin' on one
side of him and a pig gruntin' on de
odder-de dawg lynn in de sun and de
chilen rollin on de grass, you have
token away a happiness dat money
can't replace. Thankin' you fur your
kind desiderashun, I will now make my
bow and say goodnight (Terrific ap-
plause, which continued until the lights
were turned out and the doors locked. y
Copyright, 1905. by R. B. Mcclure.