Los Angeles herald., 1905-07-29
Pi-IimeS and Pick-upS
In lie Wake

i In Its Wake
Three bodies lay upon the street,
! Whence had just sped the terror heet;
-Four horses ran away like mad;
Six dogs had been put to the bad;
A street cars side had gone to smash,
The victim of an awful crash
Eight wounded nurse their broken patess
A score more lucky thanked the fates
That they'd escaped with bruises sore
And ruffled clothes, but nothing morel
A battle, say you? Nay, we cry,
A speed-mad auto Just went byl
The blight on Chauncey M. DePeach has
obllterated most Of the bloom.
Mr.. Prune-I dreamed last night that
l proposed to beautiful maiden
Miss Peach-what answer did 1 give
your
The Chicago strike being over the in
nocent bystander once more fades from
the limelight into innocuous desuetude
The girl cashier of a Chicago hotel re-
fused to accept Secretary Shaws check.
She probably had heard Of the deficit in
his department and didn't care to take
any chances.
/ senator InOmaS PlatL OF New YORK
would like to live his life over again.
Horrorsl
To our correspondent who asks for
"Wallaces address," Ask Taft.
The editor of the Emporia, Kas., Ca
zette left town the other day. He print-
ed 1t: 1.-THE church choir will sin Sun
day."
No, son, there will be no Russian scrap
! book of the war. The Russians will call
theirs a retreat book.
Still, Panama need not feel too discour-
aged Public buildings in the United
States have been completed, occasionally.
Women are going hatless in New York
city. Are prices for bonnets too high
even for the millionaires?
Mrs. Lemon-I can't go to the party,
John; I've nothing to wear
Mr. Lemon-Well, you wore next to
nothing last time
Their Favorlte Diets
!, New York-Lobsters.
Phiadelphia-Snails.
Brooklyn-Clams.
Chicago-Beef.
Omaha-Crabs.
Boston-Chili.
/ Washington QIas) Beens.
Los Angeles-Angel cake.
Some men use bushels to hide their
lights when really walnut shells would be
superfuous
Mrs. Langtry is to play in vaudeville
When she reaches burlesque she will have
found her true level.
What Teddy really needs is the Big
Broom.
| Poppy-Are you going to have lego
mutton sleeves in your new costume?
Magnolia-Certainly not; I'm a vegetar-
ian
Kipling, in his last poem. rhymes gen
Grafton" with rise upon" That's pretty
; far-fetched, even for Kip.
The mayor of Tight Wad, a Missouri
town, is named Spender.
, What Russie really needs is fewer big
red flags and more little red schoolhouses
Out here, we sleep under blankets these
summer nights, while the east sleeps un-
der difficulties. if at all.
A central Missouri editor, who said
"The Missouri river continues to rise at
Intervals" received a note from one of
his subscribers asking where Intervals
was.
!, Hell hath no fury like woman's corns.
Richard Croker flies on his English
castle the largest American flag on earth.
AS New York once asked, Where did he
get it?''
The mikado about now seems to think
that Adam-Zad isn't very much of a bear
not even a bugbear.
The colonels all threaten to leave Louis
vile. The booze parlors have to close
four hours a day-1 to a. m.-and it's
SO dryl
} Where's Scotty?
Have you seen man named Scotty,
Who went hurting from the west.
, With a gold mine in his pocket
And a booze-tank meath his vest?
He hiked cross the sagebrush country
Faster n ever man before;
But he landed in New York, and
We can't find him any more!
Out here Scotty was a wonder,
And he burned $40 bills;
He drank his wine from buckets, and
He put on awful frills;
He went east from Death valley
On coyote of his own;
} But he hit New York, and since then