The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-25
HUMOR OF TIE DzY

HUMOR or TIE DAY
why don't you and your nezt deo9r
Ian. Couldn't make peace bechune
whats the good?" rejofned Mr.. Raj
ferty 1T 'ud be Ike the Russians an
the laps We'd quit quarrelin' across the
fence an go to fghtin' among ourselves.
Washington Star.
Mrs. Goodheart-I always feel so sorry
for those poor shop girls; they're SO over
Mr.. Goodheart-Yes? You're so tender
hearted, dear. you must just yearn to
Mrs. Goodheart-I do. indeed.
Mr.. Goodheart-Well dear, the best way
gain Philadelphia Press.
why did Mahomet 60 to the noun
HE thought he could get better rates
there than at the seashore. Cleveland
Leader
MY uncle" she said. was once a
member of the United States senate
Never mind. darling" he replied. "I
love you too much to let that stand in
the way."-Chicago Reeord-Herald.
A law professor was Iecturing on con
tracts to a class which obviously did not
1
their feet and apparently only waited for
the clock to strike their deliverance.e
At iasF the minute hand; pointed to ~.
ana the hour was ID. With q simuita-
seats and started toward the door.
zone minute. please!' called the lee
turer. "One minute. please! have still
q few more pearls to cast. Chicago
| Journal.
your friend Boxer has stopped drink
| ing entirely-never touches a drop
al no. It, TN--TT
THE police of Boston haven't solved
/ that suit case mystery"
No, and they never will. I've had one
been able to solve it,
What In your homei You don't
Yes, I've been trying to find out how
my wife manages to jam into her suit
case all the clothes she mas had to have
! help to push into her trunk"
Though minee and apple others praise,
scOrn them and I scOff,
And give three cheers for pumpkin pie,
Whose lid is always of
Here's poem that we accepted some
time ago that nobody can possibly make
| any sense out of at ALL" said the maya
zine EDITORS assistant. 1T hasn't any
ooh replied the editor. eiust cali IL
! The Signing Soul and run it in."-Phila-
delphia Public Ledger.
yes. I believe people are growing
wiser right along, in spite of the claims
/ that the race is deteriorating''
Pshawi You're away off. Do YOU know
OF any old lady whose parents named her
Lulu or Pansy? "-Chicago Record Herald.
Safe to bet on as sure to throw all
Corners at the first encounter-the banana
peel--Baltimore American.
SO you enjoy seeing your son play foot
YES answered Farmer Corntossel. .Tf
he ever gets into the habit of workin' that
hard, mebbe Wen make the farm nav
/ yet ashington Star
did you see that the Bowdofn presi-
dent says that no man is safe without
Did he say that? Then I've no cause
4 to feel at all worried about my own safe
crlticizing me-"-Cleveland Plain Dealer
Meadowgrass-si Oatcake seen a adver-
| tisement in tn Bunco Bulletin what sed
/ ter send on er dollar an git instructions
as wuz guaranteed t make emmy slow
/ boss fast. So he took an sent tn money
Contassel-An did he git tn instruc-
tions?
| 1Teadowgrass-I low he did. He got 4
postal card on which wIz written in red
/ Ink: Don't feed him.''-Chicago News.
what beautiful weather in which to
"Oh, yes, indeed What a pity there
isn't more of it TO do-''-Broollyn Life
Mrs; I.eightuppe- Sitting up with a sick
/ lfleQQs L SuDDOSeE
Mr.. Leightuppe-You nearly correct.
my love-nearly Setting EN- up for six
! Mike" said Flooding Pete. did Won
I hear dat stump speaker say de world
| owes us a Twin p
Eyes. But dere's no harder job on cart
dan collectin' bad debts washington
Star.
Gracious! children. stop that noise.
ssr5--f
eldest.
What? You mustn't play war on
Sunday
But. Ma this is religious war
| Philadelphia Press.