davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1905-04-13
Patent Medicine.

Mr. EdutOr:
Deer Sur:-By the great chain
Tightening there must be an awful
heap of money in that patent med
icine business or they woodn't call
it patent. No they woodn't. The
men that make that stuff are the
most liberal hearted people in the
world. They'll give way dollars
worth jest for the askin' to find
out how you like it, and if the dol
lars worth don't kill We, then
they'll sell you quart in half
quart bottle that they will guaran-
tee to finish the job. Now sum of
that stuff is gull darn good, you
kin bank on that.
A few years ago, more or less, [
was let out to farmer to hoe his
pumpkins. Ny hair fell out in
punches, and I saw in a paper
about hair refrigator and sent
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1905-04-13

breakin' all av his ribs an two
planks. He whit to St. Mary's in
a hack an I tillyphoned tillygram
to his wife. Says l to meself,
"Dinny, beware tn cars an look
for tn dang before yez meet a
like fate"
TIL mkt day I wur. standin y fer
ninst tn monkey aquarium, an
bein' near-sighted l stuck me face
agin tn bars. Be tn sowl av me
sisters black cat if [ didn't rigon.
ize Micky Dunn in tn cage. TIL
villain borryed swim dollars from
me wanst. "Micky," I called,
"come an see yer uncle Dinny."
He wur SO glad to see me he'd
like to pulled tn tail fithers out
av me chin. TIL guard says it wur
a case av mistaken idintity. I
comminced to behave meself that
it wur dangerous to be safe.
While chasin' meself round tn
block I met me dootch neigboor
He wur rubberin' at high buildin
wild his mug open to tn shoulder
blades. Says he to me, "Dit I
want to see tn finest vat nefer vas
yes?" Cali tn time" says I, eff
it's amy finer than frog hair I'll
take a preserved sate.'' We tux
tn ELEVATOR to tn roof garden av
a limburger chaze distillery where
[ behave tn spalpeen intined to
asfxgate me. An Irish biler ex-
plosion tux place on tn top fure.
Yez can imagine tn rist. [ whit
down tn fire escape in six seconds
be tn watch. A st. Louis copper
told me tn Dist thin I Good do
wur to go home to me family be-
fore I wur kilt intirely.
E. E. Fl.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1905-04-13
MQldOOn at the Worlds
Fair.

Among tn nanny 'ristocrats at
tn St. Louis fair wur Bathhouse
John an meself. Yez can depind
on it that we got an eye full av
ivrythin' from tn baby incubators
to tn wild naygurs av pattygony.
Wan av tn cannybals said they
make mulligan stews out av their
mither-in- laws. Wudn't that give
ye tn hydryfoby! [ told him I
wud pay tn freight an excise
baggage on mine amy old day.
TIL main part av tn fair, where
rid lemonade wur six for quar-
ter, was on tn pike. We whit to
wan show twenty-five times in
wan day. It wur called tn imyta-
shun av a corkscrew. [ tell ye,
byes, that chune they played made
me heart tick like an eight-day
clock. Thin we came to where
they wur slidin' down a plank in
boats at tn rate av mile mint.
TIL ticket said, "Shoot tn shoots,
five CENTS We stated ourselves
in wan av thin an tn man says,
"hold on tight" Whin we wur
half way down John jumped out
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1905-04-13

way down to Buffalo and got a
bottle. Now that stuff wood grow
hair on a nutmeg. 1 put sum on
my he'd before go1n' to bed, and
I'm liar if that stuff didn't make
my hair grow SO gull darn fast,
that it showed me up so I was sit
tim up in bed the next morning.
Now that bottle cost me ninety
nine cents and [ sold enuff hair to
plaster a house for $2.37. Even
where [ split sum on the cork of
the bottle, hair grew so that it
looked like a graduate from the
Minnesota State University foot
ball team. 1t skirt me SO [ didn't
use it enymore. 1 threw it away
and the farmers billy goat found
it and ate bottle, hair grower and
all, and in less than three hours
he died and since that time they
have been usin' him for hair
mattress. Now this is absolutely
the truth and if Bill Jones hadn't
died | Good prove it, too. Yes L
Good. l honestly believe sur, that
If l had pored sum on a couple
dozen pumpkins, l wood have wit
messed the rehearsal of the football
game between Duluth High School
and the West Superior Kickers,
inside of thirteen minutes.
Now talkin' bout patent medi-
cine, why sur Teller kin eat three
meals in one and take couple of
swallers of the restorative and in
side OF three minutes it is guaran-
teed that live man kin drink
fifteen high balls, ten scotchs and
a half key of beer, and be at the
Office workin' inside of his noon
hour. l say it is guaranteed to do
it, but [ hain't tried 1t myself be- :
cause [ never Good make up nv
mind to turn myself into a brew
cry. It's all rite to turn into a
brewery occasionally, but so long
as you don't come out one, then
nobody hain't got any kick comm
Patent medicines are all rite if
you have enuff to swim in because
it is safer to be in the medicine
than to be on the outside of it.
Yes it tbs.
| tell you, Mr.. Edutor, when me
and you get out of this college
we'll make a patent medicine that
We'll guarantee to put shine on
a bald heded pate that will last, to
save lot of fellers the bother of
shinin' them all the hull time.
Yes we will.
Lovingly Yourns,
I. B. A. RUDE.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1905-04-13

wholly unfamiliar with our insti-
buttons, our customs, our habits of
life and our ways of thought, and
there are, I am sorry to say, great
numbers of evil and wicked people
who hope to make their livelihood
by preying on him. No greater
work can be done by philanthropy
ic or religious societies than to
stretch out the helping hand to
the men and the women who come
here to this country to become
citizens and the parents of chill
dren and therefore to do their part
in making up for veal or woe the
future of our land" That is what
Roosevelt means when he Gays: "a
square deal" Give the immigrant
a square deal.
James Davenport Whelpley, the
best authority, says IN the current
issue of the Fortnightly Review:
Immigration has unquestionably
become an international affair and
until it is go treated, complications
and evils resulting therefrom can
only be partially and quite ineffect-
ually controlled by each nation
acting for itself, Independently of
all others
Here is the true solution to the
immigration question. An inter
national congress called to correct
abuses of government. called to
correct economic evil, called to
make the European countries fit
place to live in. The reasons why
this congress will be called are:
The total number of immigrants
who leave Europe for the western
hemisphere each year reach the
sum of nearly two million. This
vast exodus depletes the military |
strength of the countries from
which they come. Large standing
armies are imperative in European
countries. Taxation is becoming
difficult through the loss of SO
many productive citizens. This
international congress will be
called within five years and will
settle the immigration question
for all time to come.
The theory advocated by the
gentleman preceding is not conclu-
sive nor logical Nor is there a
practical remedy suggested. "He
who criticises, be he ever so honest,
must suggest practical remedy |
or he soon descends from the height !
of a critic to the level Of common
scold.''
The American Federation of |
Labor, which has a membership
of over 100000, does not adj
vocate the restriction Of immigra-
ton. This organization recently |
appropriated $500 to assist in
bringing an international congress
of labor to a successful issue. So
you see the working men do not
ask for restricted immigration.
They want an international con-
gress to settle that matter.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1905-04-13
Mr.. President, Hon. Judges and Fet-
lOacs of the Pie1'iGn Circle:

alton declared for the rigid
restriction of immigration,
and had for the dominating prin-
cipal this precept, America for
Americans" Now it is commonly
believed that the American Pro-
tective Association is dead and
buried, but it appears there is an
occasional resurrection.
The immigration question can
not be settled by any standard of
ethics made modern and up-to-
date by commercial mania. Nor
can this question be settled by
any standard of ethics taken from
the hollow sophistries of machine
politics. There is but one criter-
ion by which to Judge this ques-
ton, and that is whether we as a
nation would be in the RIGHT if
we restricted immigration, wholly
or in part. Not whether it would
pay, but whether it would be right.
What profit it if nation gains
the whole world and loses it's
honor?
We must do our full duty as a
nation in the interests of civiliza-
ton and the uplifting of mankind.
This is the duty of all nations and
particularly is it obligatory to the
American people to lead the way
in enlightenment and civilization.
To restrict immigration is to take
a backward step. To restrict i'm
migration is to put in practice a
policy that is narrow, selfish and
exclusive. Exclusiveness is one
of the attributes of aristocracy and
should have no place among the
ideals of any free people.
God, in his infinite wisdom, Gre
ated the world for all mankind.
He set no particular portion apart
to become the exclusive property
of any nation. They who advocate
the presumption of any part of the
world for the exclusive benefit Of
any nation, question the wisdom
of the Deity in creating man, and
would thwart His divine goodness
The world is the home of the chill
dren of men and no spot or place
upon it's surface can be rightfully
-empted by any nation for it's
exclusive benefit.
These United States owe a debt
AN obligation-to the old world.
A debt for the services of the
many foreigners who developed
our vast domain. An obligation
for the many sons of the old world
who have in their adopted country
become strong, good and great
men. Why now advocate the re-
striction of immigration after the
country has beer made strong,
rich and great by the work Of
aliens? Surely this would be a
selfish, ungrateful policy to pursue.
Is, 766, 53S immigrants have come
to this country since 1884. So
you see the nation owes quite a
debt to the old world. The theory
advocated by the gentleman pre-
ceding cannot be made an accom-
plished fact.
This is a government of the
people. The people are for the
most part the descendants of for
eigners. The representatives of
the people are also the descendants
of foreigners. and would not pass
laws to entirely restrict immigra-
ton. The impossibility of entirely
stopping immigration is proven
by the above deductions. They
advocate theory that cannot be
made an accomplished fact.
This cry against immigration
has given the people of the United
States hard name, and dissent
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1905-04-13
THEC.I. s. G. DEBATE.
Resolved: "That immigration Should be Restricted
The Negative Argument by Pendenns

mann, UoCTayS the U0pCuS OF
depravity into which the victim
has fallen. The sorrows oil
Others" says the author, inspire
no sympathy in the heart of the
American. He is without heart
He is unable to grasp the concep.
ton of an ideal" There you have
it and the advocating of selfish
theories is responsible for this adj
verse opinion of the American
people. Now, no nation has q
monopoly in morals, but the
gentleman preceding would have
you believe that the American
people are like the pharisees of old
who stood on the street corners
and advertised their goodness
The commercial mania of the 10th
century has given birth to many
freak ideas and it is quite in touch
with the policy of dollar hunters
to advocate the total restriction of
i'm migration. 1t is the policy of
commercialism to advocate any
thing that smacks Of aristocracy.
They say immigration is respon-
sible for the condition of unskilled
labor in our eastern cities. An
analysis of the facts will prove the
accusation to be false. Let us
consider the sweat shops as an ex-
ample. Who buys the sweat shop
clothing? Country merchants.
Who buys the goods at retail ?
American born citizens. Who is
responsible for this enslavement
of labor? The foreigners who
must work in the sweat shops or
starve? No! The country mer-
chant. No again! The Ameri-
can who buys the goods at retail,
he is responsible for this grievous
wrong. What is the remedy ?
Entirely or in part restricted i'm
migration? Certainly not, that
would be lodging the issue and
the sweat shop would still remain
with us. Authorities state that
there is plenty of unoccupied land
within one hundred miles of the
city of New York. Compel the
foreigners who congregate in the
city to leave the centers of popula-
ton and live in the country.
Properly distribute the immigrants
and they become source of wealth
to the country.
They say, and the gentleman
preceding is one of them, that i'm
migration increases the burden of
the poor This cry about immi-
grafton is raised to attract atten-
ton away from our mismanagement
of the affairs of the people. Robert
Hunter says there are 100000
people on the verge of pauperism
in this country. Would restricted
immigration help that? The rem
edy lies deeper. Put these people
to work. Give them employment
and let them earn their living.
Let the federal government put
some of them to work on the rivers,
widening and deepening the chan
nels. Others on public lands, get
ting the public domain ready for
settlement. Some to work at irri-
CATION, at forestry, and on the sea
coast, building docks and dredging
the harbors. Let the county boards
put some to work on the public
highways. Why not have good
roads when labor comes a-begging
This solution to the problem is
based upon facts. It is practical
and would accomplish the desired
result. Restricted immigration
would not relieve present needs,
nor give any promise for the
future.
Theodore Roosevelt, the leader of
The Big Sandy news. [volume] (Louisa, Ky.) 1885-1929, 1905-10-20
RAcKBoNE

Our little town has been lively for
The past few days on account of the
association
Misses Addie Glkerson and Patsy
shannon. OF Gallup, have been visit
ing their aunt, Mrs sherman Wheel.
er, Tor the past Week.
oliver and Garfield Wheeler, OF
Huntington, are home for a few days
visit.
The Messrs. Kazee. MaSetter, Tlaw-
haw and Graham. OF Willard, treat
I'd us to sone fine music FRIDAY
night at Sherman Wheeler's
Misses virgie Crabtree, Emma and
Carrie rhornsberry visited Henry
Wheeler saturday and sunday
Quite number Of young folks
pent pleasant evening SATURDAY
with Miss Ella Wheeler. Among then
we're B. b. Triplet, Addie Gilkerson
Patsy shannon, Carrie and Emnia
Thornsberry. Nora Clark and Myrr
lie Wheeler
Mrs c. c. Rose and Mrs. Henr,
Wheeler were the pleasant guests
Of Mrs. L. 5. Wheeler saturday
Lei US hear from Gallup.
Lsas and Deak
The Big Sandy news. [volume] (Louisa, Ky.) 1885-1929, 1905-10-20
Bulletins.

We have picked up 4 big bargain
in $40 watches aud will sell them al
$3.50. This is rare opportunity
and the offer is good only while
this lot lasts
Spaldings Official League bast
balls, SIPS. Also Spalding's cheaper
balls for boys. Bats at all prices
Spalding's mits and gloves. Sam,
prices as you would pay in Chicago
Choice box paper in all the latest
styles.
Guitars, banios, violins, French
harps, accordeons. strings and other
supplies.
Full line of books from lOc up.
If you need good watch we can
fit you out to suit your desires both
as to quality and prices
Birthdays and wedding anniyersarie'
come around at this season the same
as any other. Brighten these occa-
sions for your family and friends by
a gift. In our line you will find APP
propriate gifts, inexpensive or other
wise. Gold and silver goods, china
rnt glass, novelties, and last but not
least, books,
CoNLEY'S STORE.
Louisa, KY.
The Big Sandy news. [volume] (Louisa, Ky.) 1885-1929, 1905-10-20
pEEPnoLE

We are having a little winter a
present The farmers are busy get
ting in their produce before it /,
bitten by Jack Frost as he has mad,
his appearance
Our school is progressing NIGEL!
nicely with Miss Nellie Conley as
teacher.
Mrs, Conley has just returned from
visiting relatives in Ohio.
We had very interesting sermon
by Brother Talbert last Sunday. W,
are glad to have him back on oui
work again.
DIR. Diamond, of Cincinnati was Wis.
iting his parents. Mr.. and Mrs. c
w Diamond last week. He will soon
leave for Europe where he win take
another course in medicine. Miss
Pearl Diammond. his sister. accompan
led him TO Cincinnati, where she will
visit for a few weeks.
Mr., L. f. Simpson and family aud
also Mrs. c, w. Diamond have return
ed from the Anies Springs, at Red
wine, KY, in Morgan county. where
they have been visiting. They say
the water is fine.
Mrs Geo. Mayhew. of Cincinnati.
is visiting her sister-ln-law. Mrs. c,
w Diamond. Of Deephole.
Mrs Sturgil and Mrs. Alley. NJ
Blaine, have Just returned from Wis
iting in Covington aud Cincinnati.
Coronation.
The Big Sandy news. [volume] (Louisa, Ky.) 1885-1929, 1905-10-20

FULL OF TRAGIC MEANING.
Are these lines from J. II. sim
mons. of Casey, la, Think what
mikht have resulted from his terri
bl cough il he had not taken The
medicine about which he writes y
had a fearful cough that disturbed
my nights rest tried everything
hut nothing would relieve it, untn
| took Dr. Kings New Discovery for
Consumption Coughs and Colds,
which completely cured me. Instant,
ly relieves and permanently cures
all throat and lung diseases. prevents
grip and pneumonia Al A. NJ.
Hughes druggist guaranteed, tpc
and sl.O0 Trial bottle flee
The Big Sandy news. [volume] (Louisa, Ky.) 1885-1929, 1905-10-20
VESSIE.

John W. Smith has been putting
the road in good condition from Nc
Daniel to near Tuscola. He is a
hustling road over seer.
There has been some work done
on the Little East Fork road. but
there are a great many places YET
what need repair.
ice Day, while making crossties
Friday accidentally cut his foot in
flicting very painful wound cam
pletely severing the bone near the
instep. DR.. Hall dressed the wound
The little child of Mr.. ard Mrs.
John Holbrook is on the sick list. d
Miss Sadie Fugate has been absent
from school several days on account
of sickness.
Mrs. John Rice has, been sick for
a few days.
Grandma Hairless, who has been
very sick for several weeks. con
tinues very low and her recovery Is
despaircd of.
Rev. John D. Hammonds, an Advent
Evangelist. of jackson county, W.
Va, is visiting relatives here. He
preached several very interesting SER
mons at Baker.
William Jordan, of Advent, W. Va,
is visiting friends and relatives here.
He left Kentucky in the fifties and
moved to Jackson county, W. Va,
where he has since resided.
Grandma Howell, of Twin Branch,
is here. She is looking fine for a
person of her age.
Mrs. Samantha Shortridge las
been on an extended visit at Ash
land.
Morgan Church, of Boyd county.
has moved on V. B. shortridge's
farm and will work for him the com
ing season.
1t is reported that Jake Neal will
move to Ohio in the near future
Miss Cora Jordan was the very
pleasant guest of Stella Cunningham
Friday and Saturday. Nux.
The Big Sandy news. [volume] (Louisa, Ky.) 1885-1929, 1905-10-20
Help a Child 10 Find "a Home

The Kentucky Childrens' Home So
ciety has grown 10 be one of The
greatest child saving Agencies Ia
America. The success Of the work is
due to the good people OF our STAT
who have opened their hearts and
homes TO the HON less, destitute
children under our car.
Sixty or seventy bright. swes,
children are sent TO us each month
and it is necessary in order TO pro
vide for other neglected little one.
10 find good homes for the children
now under our care.
Have you a child in your home
If YOU have. do you not think You
could take another little one 10
raise and rear into good citizen
ship? WIN you not help us by Civ
ing a home or finding home for a
child of any age frmo infancy 10
girls and boys Of twelve years Of
age?
The Master said: In much as VI
have done il TO one o fthe least OF
thsse. We have done unto me
If you are interested in The
work, write for particulars TO
George L. sehon, state Supt,
The Big Sandy news. [volume] (Louisa, Ky.) 1885-1929, 1905-10-20


For Teachers Association to be
held at Donithan. Ky. Saturday Oct
2Sth 1905. Opening at $3.50 a. m.
Can to order.
Song. America.
Invocation. VIM. Han
Welcome Address, S. Y. Dobblns.
Response, Jack Thompson.
Recitation, Clara Lambert.
What Kentucky has done in educa-
ton. Miss Erie b. See.
What Kentucky has yet TO do in
education, Hooker Moore.
Recitation, Hernia Bley!ns.
Recitation. Belle Vinson.
Betterment of citizenship. Mastiu
Boyd.
Recitation, Kenoya Murray
Opportunity, Gordon c. Burgess.
Advantages gained by association
of Geography and History, by Isaac
Cunningham
Dinner on Ground
Afternoon.
Song, Old Kentucky home.
Compulsory Education, John Con-
ley and NJ. c. Summons.
Take advantage of time. Roscoe
Murray.
Recitation, Pamela Hinkle.
Hygiene in School Room. Dir ".
w. wray.
Recitation. Lutte Vinson.
School management how to care
bad habits C. C. Thompson.
Overcome Evil with good. Emma
Summons.
Discipline, Youngie Summons.
Recitation. Mrs. Sadie Stansbury.
Use of merits in school. L o.
Thompson.
Prompness and Accuracy. nzzie
See.
Advantages of schools of today
over those of twenty years ago.
John H. Mcclure
Song. God be with you till We meet
again Audience.
An earnest request is hereby Civ
en- that all teachers attend and take
their parts. Respectfully.
S. Y. Dobbins, Chairman.
Roscoe Murray. Secretary.
The Big Sandy news. [volume] (Louisa, Ky.) 1885-1929, 1905-10-20
Increase in Stock.

Tue Louisa National Bank anhounc
rs an Increase 10 s50.0o0.OO in It's cap.
ital Stock, making it a larger and
stronger institution. better able Ii
take care Of the demands OF the pub,
lie We ask patronage Of the p-opl,
as an Endorsement and encouragement
u our policy 70 make The Louisa Ma
li1nal Bank a benefit to this sector
q country Deposit your money VIII
Us. aud cume 10 US Tor loans on vel
sured paper
THE LOUISA NATIONAL BANK.
Louisa. ~
NJ G. WATSON. President
N. r CoNLEY. Cashier
J. + HACKWoRTH.
l. II. YORK.
r. l.. NlNSON.
AUGUSTUS SNYDER.
r H. YATES,
Directors
The Big Sandy news. [volume] (Louisa, Ky.) 1885-1929, 1905-10-20
ORDER. LAWRENCE co. COURT

August Term, 2lst day of August
1905.
On this day came L. A. CARED and
presented In open court a petition
of over 20 legal voters of voting pre-.
cinct, No, Is, in Lawrence county
known as BDobbins District. having
been filed in County Court in said
county asking a submission of tht
question whether or not they wish
hogs and other live stock, to run
at large in said recinct No. Is.
II is ordered by the Court that
the officers of Election of said Pre-
ciuet No. Is. open a poll at the next
Regular Election in said Precinct for
the purpose of ascertaining the viii
of the voters of said Precinct upon
the question whether or not they
wish hogs and all other live stock
to run at large in said voting Pre-
cinct No. l.. Copy
Attest; Add skeens. Clerk.
The Big Sandy news. [volume] (Louisa, Ky.) 1885-1929, 1905-10-20

lfyou want to Increase your s,renei
you must add To aud not take from
the physical In other words. n,
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nerves, blood and tissues before be.
Ing expelled from The iulestines.
kodol Dyspepsia Cure adds to rho
PHYSICAL u gives strength To and
builds up strength IN the human tys.
tenn Il Is pleasant TO the ilsie and
lalemhle, ana the oaly combination
nf dlleslanls that viii digest tho
'~d sud enille tn sys,em 10 on,
ifopnl,e all Of lls henlh and
DEMONSTRATING qualities Sold BY
.ouisa DruE Co
The Big Sandy news. [volume] (Louisa, Ky.) 1885-1929, 1905-10-20
Hsl%: a.:T=v d III As'.
ARSET1'S QUICK
RELIEF

Always ask Tor Arneits Quick Re.
lief saive Tor bleeding. itching and
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Also have preparation for beasts
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Prico IS Cents Per Box
Manufactured exclusively by
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