Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-09-21

her theatre loving parents to the play.
According to this 9-yearIold authority
all drama is to be divided as follows:
"rragcdy is where you wear fancy
dress and get murdered.
Just plays is where you're ike other
people and die of illness or commit sui.
eide.
And comedy is where you 20 through
with great deal and yet live"
NOT A SUCCESS AS IZAAK WALTON.
Every row weeks the Harlem man has
been in the habit of telling his wife he
vas going on a fishing trip. In reality
he took a day Off to play the ponies and
enjoy a few sociable glasses with friends
down town. But his wife has always
been suspicious about these fishing trips.
because he never brought home any fish,
The other evening, however, when he
returned from ore of the excursions he
brought long string of fine rock.
| Nov. dor't say that never bring
home any fish," he said. rather sharply
Il caught these all myself"
His wife felt some msgivirs as she
took the string to be cleaned Perhaps
she had Judged him wrongly
| The next morning at breakfast the
| Harlem man was very enthusiastic IN
describing his fishing trip.
Eyes. Maria" he said for the third
time, Il sat out in the blisterirg sun
pulling in those fish yesterday and didn,
even it was warm"
His wife smiled curicnsly.
Don't Won know found a little SOU
venir Of your trip attached to one of the
fish," she snid quietly.
Her husband left the chair trembling
under him.
"Oh. yes" he FASTENED, trying to smile,
1T was. -er-a hook?'
NC. it was this"
She held up card before his oluircd
vision. 1t read as follows
"Thcs" fish from Browns Fish Mar
kct Always buy them Here and be AS
sured They are Fresh"
THOUGHT GREELY HAD GALL.
Albert T.. Pillsbury. former attorney
general of Massachusetts,, on visiting the
birthplace of Horace Greeley in Am
horst, y. H.. noticed that there was 10
placafd about the place to inform the
public o.. its historical interest. Accord
ing 10 himself he tackled on the house a
card which read; "rhis is the birth
place of Horace Greeley" Will, cngag-
ed at the task a passing native pais, d
to read the card, and turning to Mr..
Piilsbury he remarked with some acid
ity 1.-The gall of some of you fclicrs
that he" made money in the city Is
fairly sioknin'. What do you suppose
folks here care whether you was born
on this farm or some other old iarm"
Them's my sentiments, Mr.. Greeley. and
don't You fOrgt 1t.
SOMEWHAT FAMILIAR.
a Mobile man tells the following story |
of an ode character. in that town who
fol- many years has done n thriving husi- !
ness in hauling ashes. One day. says |
the Mobile man. he CHANGED to he in the |
rear Of his house when the darky in |
nuo stion was preparing TO depart with
the customary load
rive seen you haul away many lone.
of ashes" said the owner of tn. house.
"l,nt my good man, during all these
years I've never had the least idea OF
your name. What Is it?"
"Mah name is George Washin'ton.
of his head.
George Washington. eh!" reiterated
the uucs.iCner. ut seems to me-" he
added. with a smile. that I've heard
that name before"
Reckon you have, sah." came the an
swcr in all seriousness. " cause Ise
heen haulin' way ashes from yo' house
for more then ten years!'