The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-01-06

Well nobody did miss it who had Il
nance to get there. Tho banquet room
wa crowded with 700 distinguished
people.
There WAS q time When the G.idiron
CLUB was entertained. Nov 1t furnishes
the entertainment. The audience which
comes to enjoy the fun is remarkable
for it's personnel. 1t is worth While
to entertain such an audience; it is
certainly worth while for such an audi-
elce to be entertained.
Ii was quite natural for the features
of the dinner to be more o. less con-
nected with the recent election. Not
mt all Inappropriate, therefore. was the
ballot which the guests found Ut their
plates. bearing a large circle and in
structions where to place the desired
mark. The ballot was a most popular
me-, containing all the guests names
as electors and presenting an eX-
ceptionally appetizing menu.
There were two baby members. Both
of them were stars. Philander G..
Johnson is u Washington Evening Star
and Richard III. Lindsay is a Kansas
City Star. The conjunction of the
names of these two paper was an OBJ
portunitv which he club did not over
look. When the babies" were brought
in 1t was reported that they Wee
hungry.
,J-s.lifSe them bread and milk" came
as Il suggestion from Il dozen menu
bers.
.One of them won't take it," said
II sponsor of the initiates. He wants
q Martini cocktail.
THAT must be my boy" promptly
remark ed S. +. Johnson. of the Cincin-
natl Enquirer, eN-president of the club
and a veteran in the organization. He
was right. He is ~Philander's papa.
It's a great thing for an organization
which is nnl, -, li1inu a1,,l, To t,l.n =.
the second generation.
There were lots of stars in connection
with the initiation, the climax coming
when the " brilliant electric stars
flashed forth and the chorus sang
Read the Answer in the Stars Cam
didate Lindsay made :; speech to show
his fitness for membership and Mr..
Johnson. who writes n daily grist of
shooting stars. contributed some pic
tofal aluslons to persons present. A
few are herewith attached:
A young man from the west named Paul
Morton
In the navy departments cavortin',
When congressional bruisers
Refuses him cruisers
You should hear him a-ragin' and snortin'.
Financiers. Ii appears. are remarkable
dears
Their worriments never are few.
II you must run a truss, you'll be thor
oughly cuSSed
BY the people who wish they We're YOU.
Some meu are so pure that they pine to
die poor,
OF whom j. p. Morgan's not which.
He's for fit; for now people admit
That it's not a disgrace to be rich.
William b.
Allison, he
Is a specimen OF the I-o-way idee:
And William II.
He says. says he.
"Ihey coutdns have u senator if it wasn't
for me-"
The recent sale in Washington of
the unclaimed parcels accommodating
IN the dead letter office was parodied
by a group of club members. who res
directed a few dead letters and odd
looking bundles which. it was quite
evident. had not been delivered in the
mail.
Here is an envelope said one OF
the party. containing a message of
mingled joy and sorrow. The super
scription is Il picture of n sunhower
under a weeping willow
That must be from somebody in
Kansas" suggested another of the
group.
The letter was carefully opened. 1t
was read aloud. as follows:
FAREWELL.
This o~fiice-holding is n sell;
I tried to do my duty we'll.
But time is up-1 hear the Bell
Farewell. o hell!
Eugene +. Ware.