davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01
NEVER TOO BrsY.

I've never been quite too busy
10 go Tor romp with you
Through the forest of Transformation,
In the island OF Hullabaloo;
Once there, I'm a horse to ride on,
Tn booger-bear to alright
L m the whole menagerie, all in one.
Contrived for q babes delight.
I'm an ''ellunt1 and a "hippossum,"
And a camel and zebra, too:
1 N 5 AXE that twists and Wriggles,
And giggles and hollers Boot
1 m a horse and my loose suspenders
Are lines You can drive me by;
1 m a tossing ship on the ocean,
Where the waves dash mountain high.
I'm a ship on the tossing ocean,
And you are my captain bold.
And toss and I roll beneath you.
But my ears they are strong to hold;
ana you laugh as the breakers grumble,
And you fear no dire mishap
AS your laugh browns out the tempest,
And your glad voice calls .'Diddsp'
I'm glad I'm not too busy
At any old time Of day
To get on the floor and tumble
Anc grumble and grOWl and play;
To Just put aside my paper
ana fo1mp Wlen you want me to,
Through the forest of Transformation
To the island of Hullabaloo.
I'm glad I'm not too busy
Nor tired, nor glum, you wis,
To stOOp when you steal beside me
With your lips held up for a kiss;
I am glad I am not too busy
TO romp till your heart is glad;
I am glad that the Lord picked me out,
Dear baby, to be your dad
y. NJ. Lewis in Houston Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

After an evening performance at a
theater at Richmond, Va. says the Bos-
ton Transcript. one of the waiting street
cars was quickly flied by well-dressed
people of the se-called better class.
There. were a number of men who con-
tinued to occupy seats, although sew
eral ladies We're standing in the aisle.
At last an old lady was pushed for
ward by the jam. A boyish looking fel-
low promptly sprang up and rendered
her his seat.
The old lady'ss pale face. saddened by
sorrows which could be guessed from
the little gold and blue and red enamel
confederate flag pinned on her breast,
frightened as she accepted it.
1T is easy to see what part of the
country you come 'front.' she said,
graeiously. Immediately crediting the
action to the south.
The young fellows face glowed as
he took off his hat.
Permit me to thank YOU he said,
bashfully, but fervently, lin the name
of Vermont
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01
LINE rPoNI INE-

Spasnlodic effort is never advisable.
The benefits Of advertising. properly
understood, are cumulative and consist
ent. Today's advertisement must be
followed BY another stSsporrow and still
another the next day and so on Make
them lap over each ether, like shingles
Even large advertisements lose their
force if not reasonably near together.
The secret Of the advertisers success IS
keeping everlastingly at it." Some
months ago q man died in New Jersey
Teputed to be worth a million dollars.
He manufactured toilet powder A dozen
years ago he was one of the many man
ufacturers. When ne died he was ~the''
manufa cturer of toilet powder. He
sought new customers and found them
by advertising.-Co ffeyville Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01
REF1EcrIoNs OF a RAcHE1oR.
TFrom the New York Press

LFTOm the New York Press-1
It makes q man a good deal nader
to be called a liar than to be one
A girl can make an awful lot Of trou-
BILE by not letting you kiss her when
she wants you to.
A person always has an idea that
when he is half asleep with a fishing
rod in his hand he is a great man.
When a woman says that her cook is
just dying to stay she means she max
not go till the end of her week.
A man has to be very proud of his
children TO think they are a. good look
ing as he would be If he didn't have so
many business worries.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.


4 good umbrella means frequent
change of owners.
poets are born because their ancestors
escaped hanging
No. Alonzo, a bald head ism necessar-
5ly an emblem of wisdom
Love is all the sweeter when Favored
with Just a little discord.
only a rich girl can successfully pose as
q sDinster from choice.
Some men refuse to work because they
are afraid they may acquire the habit.
Boston girl is said to have committed
suicide by letting cigarette-smoSing
youth kiss her.
a steam derrick is one OF che features
in a new realistic drama This may be
another effort to elevate the stage.
Fashions arc naturally regulated by
trade conditions Nearly ~ garments ara
worm longer in dun times than in prosper
Gus ones
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

A certain close-f1sted old gentleman
pulled up his horse and trap at the door
Of a shop the other day and beckoned
to a seedy-fooking individual who was
singing in the gutter.
Hold my horse a minute, will you ?''
he remarked.
The singer stopped in the middle of a
verse and took up position at the
horses head.
When the old gentleman came out of
the shop he hurriedly handed over the
magnificent sum of a halfpenny, and
lost no time scrambling into the trap.
The recipient gazed at the coin for a
moment, then jumped on the step.
TAKE it back, sir he remarked trag-
ically. ut means ruin to you!'
What do you mean, STRIP" Numbered
the old gentleman.
"Ahn'@ was the solemn reply. "Onee I
was just like you. I'd heaps o. money,
an threw It about like water; an look
at me nowl Amt 1 a hobjeet-lesson?
Keep your wealth; [ scorns to rob yer.''
Answers.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

ApI opos the Burton conviction. let it
be remembered that the shame lies not
in the conviction and punishment Of
the offense but in the commitment Of
it. True. Kansas has been dishonored
and disgraced but the honored name of
the state still shines out brilliant as the
purest diamond although one of her
hoaored citizens, either through indis-
erection or intention has betrayed the
sacred trust repOsed in him.-CheTry-
vale Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

Practical jokers in Indianapolis
seized q. newly welded pair in Indian
apoIis the other night, tied them on
dray and paraded them through the
streets amid howls Of 'Inerriment" As
q result the bride is dangerously i'll and
may die. 1t is high time such jolrars be
placed where they can enjoy the fun
Fumor Of their joke while spending a
few years at hard labor behind prison
bars
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

President McCurdy said some time
ego that no power on earth could pry
him loose from the Mutual, but he has
suddenly discovered that his health is
poor and requires that he give up the
insurance business.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

Speaking of getting things, MI. An
drew Hamilton always seemed to get
his' from the insurance companies very
promptly, but if he comes back to
America he is liable to get it also from
the courts
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

Public munger for good news OLIsH
leads the newspapers to print improb-
able announcements, like the discovery
of a sure coure for consumption ana
how to get rid of ants in the pantry,
and for these harmless lies the simple
qualification of a public yearning-and
the fact that it ought to be true II It
is1ft-is the justification. Yesterdays
story was that an the McCurdys had
resigned from office.-Ottawa Herald.
aid
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01
wanted II .s1,mbracing. ;

A woman once told Lord Palmerstota
that her maid. VINO had been with her
in the Isle of Wight. objected to going
thitl1er again because the climate was
not embracing enough What am I
to do with such woman2' she asked.
You had better take ner to the Isle
of Man next time, said Lord PalTners-
Cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

bright day of Russia's complete free
dom viii shortly break forth, but today
the clouds are black and the storm Of
revolution is sweeping the empire.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

Senator EIkins win not admit that
he has surrendered to the president on
the rate regulation proposition. When
Eflzins surrenders, beware of the joker
in the rate regulation bill!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

The state board of railroad commits
sioners of Illinois has promised to hand
down a freight rate decision on Deem
Der s. The board has had the case I'M
der consideration for three years. The
Illinois commissioners must be an inn
petuous lot Why don't they take time
to weigh the evidence more carefully
Salina Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

Not only did Prince Charles change
his name to Haa6On, but he has also
changed the name OF his son from Al
eXander to Olaf He is evidently bound
20 be a thorough Norwegenian.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01
ITS CLASSIFICATION.

tation rate the railroad board has per-
mitted the express companies to classify
jug whisky as luxury. Examination
of the tariff schedules issued by Aunt
Carrie Nation, however, will disclose
whisky still classified under the head
of "hell-broth. Ottawa Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01
a Moody Story.

Wright L. Moody once called on a
ministerial brother in an eastern town,
desiring to spend the next day, Sunday,
with him. The '-71-7s~tar was agreeable,
but said that he was. ashamed to ask
Moody to preach. ''Why?'' asked Mr..
Moody We'll" was the reply, "our
people have got such a habit of going
before the close of the meeting that it
would be an imposition on a stranger"
II viii stop and preach said Moody.
When Sunday arrived Mr.. Moody
opened the meeting and then encourag-
ing1y said: My hearers, am going TO
speak to two sorts today, the sinners
first, then the saints" After ear
nestly addressing the supposed sinners
he said that they could now take their
hats and go. But the whole congre-
cation waited and heard him to the end.
Cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

Just because natural gas is cheap.
do not try the experiment OF filing
your house fun and then touching it
of You will be more satisfied in the
long run to burn it little at a time.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01
ne THING 70 no.

Despite anti-hazing laws, those an
napolis cadets still are making life
miserable for the youngsters under
them. If the authorities would adopt
the old-fashioned strap method in cor
recting these young miscreants, in
stead of making rules only, something
would be accOmplished.-Los Angeles
Express
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

The Emporia Gazette comes forward
with this suggestion: without desir-
ing to be in the least impertinent or
facetious. the Gazette woulds suggest
that if the esteemed Capital desires
the resignation Of Senator Burton so
keenly. it should go over to the capitol.
poke into the gubernatoria1 bath room
and see If it cannot find Tom KeIly's
unused escrow there. Burton could
not object to putting his resignation in
chat dear little contrivancei"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

The resignation Of President Nc
Curdy will probably encourage a lot of
disheartened policy holders to keep
up their policies, because now the Nc
Curdy family viii not absorb so much
Of the policy holders, profits.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

The determination of the New York
reformers to get the imam higher up
and connect him with the election ir-
regularities is commendable, provided
they get him. AS a rule he takes his
vacation after election and allows the
Dispatch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01
An npINON

A wicked Missouri editor says that in
his opinion it is no more harm to catch
fish on Sunday than to run dow
chicken for the preachers dinner
Burr Oak Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

The Russian navy got III ahead of the
football games with its little diversion
just IN time to get a top-of-c column posi-
ton in the newspapers.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

The transcontinentaI railroads viii
unanimously favor a lock canal, pro
vided it is a deadlock.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

Harvard is naturally in favor of re-
form in football with the proviso that
It shall be reformed in a way that Will
enable Harvard to win occasionally.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

The State Journal IS a member OF the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report of that great news or
@anization for exclusive evening pun4As
cation in Topeka.
The State Journal receives for exclusive
E12llcation the leased wire report or sns
publishers Press Tor the edition for sun
0ay morning.
The news is received in the state Jour
nal building over wires for this sole puE~
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

There Is reported to be a great short
age Of lambs IN Wall Street. There
is also a considerable shortage of cash.
The lambs. YOU see. have the cash.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

tie axiom that men who expectorafe
on the sidewalk cannot expect to rate
as gentlemen.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

Lying is proverbially easy says
the Kansas City star. But the trouble
with most liars is rhat they find it hard
to stick to the same lie.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01
COMMON WITH HIM.

OF course affairs are pretty strenu-
Gus for the sultan but with several
hundred wives he ought to be used to
such situations by this time.-Wichita
Eagle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

Jack London has certainly secuced an
extensive line of advertising for his
books recently. but it may rot prove a
desirable kind.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

Common fairness compels us to adj
nit that the life insurance president
has proved himself beyond cavil
good father, a kindly uncle and great
dfather.=Richmond Ilnes-Dls-
patch
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01
KEEPING OFT.

Kansas senators are rather unlucky
this fall. Senator Burton is trying TO
keep out Of prison and Senator Long
is trying to keep out Of print.-Coffey-
vile Record
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

Next time =HIr. whitney Of Massa-
chusetts desires to quote President
Roosevelt he had better have the presi-
dent taIk into q phonograph.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

This is the mouth that you always
put of buying your Christmas pres
ents until everybody else wants to buy,
and then you regret it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

now is good time for some stats
teal enthusiast to figure how much
football costs the country each year.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

sThere is nothing the matter with
Kansas that cannot be cured declares
the ottawa Herald. Smoked out, does
the Herald mean?-Wichita Eagle
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

Governor Pennypacker says he is
poorer now than when he went into Of
hoe. But just consider the fun he and
the eartoonists have had with each 9TH
81
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

Mark Twain was 20 years old yes
terdays which may account for the fact
that his recent attempts at humor are
much more serious than those of his
earlier Years.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

Two Nebraskans fenced in $4,000
acres of government land and were
fined $500. While this " ls not ex-
aetly an apology for annoying the gen
tlemen, it was very like one.-Phila-
deIphia Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

The expectation that Turkey will
yield to the principle of the powers
demand is not exactly surprising
Probably the Sultan. with his usual
acumen. has fieured IT out that the
principle Won't cost anything
aaDoIis News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01
BENT MURDOCH CONSENTS.

DLlIN z AJ1DJDA OOlN l5I117 =
Statesmen and newspapers have IN
animously agreed that John Peter st.
John and Edward Wesley Hoch ars the
two greatest governor orators, now Iv-
ing. that the state has ever produced.
Consent.-El Dorado Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

Having heard direct from NcCurdy,
the country is now awaiting a few words
from John A. Mccall.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01
LIKE- BAKING POWDER.

In purity Senator BuTLon vas
twin brother to the beautiful snow.
We know this to be straight, for we
have it from his own lips.-Chicago
News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

topol of course but when she lifted her
hand to do it another riot would spring
forth. What Russia needs is more
hands for holding down the hd-Salina
Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01
FRON OTHER PENS


NJ. Witte probably learned enough
while he was in America not to accept
o position as vice president of Russia.
BALTIMORE Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01
or COURSE.

If wishes We're horses, some eeggars
would still growl because they were
not touring cars.-Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

Incidentally you might begin to prac-
tiee writing it 1905 just to get used to
81.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

A hero or a genius. or both. is the
man who guesses right most Of the
time and then does ft.-Louisville Her
aid.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01
KANSAS COMAENT


Garden of Eden when Adam printed
kiss on Ewes lips.-El Dorado RepubI-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01
Unless HE GOES SLOW.


The man who lives too fast never
has time to catch Up with himself
Atlanta Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

Arkansas city has an ordinance
against splitting on the Sidewalks and
The Traveller is calling fo- its vigorous
endorsements Why doesn't It lay GoNn
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

I'D like that tooth, please said the
small boy after the dentist had extracted
the torment.
Certainly, my little man; but why dc
ing it over.
'9YVeIl, SIR responded the gratifed boy,
I'm going to take it home and I'm go
fng to stuff it full OF sugar. Then I'm
going to put it on plate and with
triumphant grin, watch it ache. New
york World
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

A widower took his second wife home
and introduced her to the children by
saying:
This is your new mamma
They looked at her critically, then the
youngest blurted out:
rs that the best you could do, papa o.
Chicago Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

The Sunday school lesson was on sam.
son, the strong man.
Now Willie" said the teacher, who
was it brought down the house2''
'Jeromei" promptly replied the New
York boy. who read the papers.-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

There goes a typical Georgia cracker"
said the native.
'Indeed?'' exclaimed the northern Wis
itor. Goes for meanshine whisky AID all
that sort Of thing.-I suppose"
mo, that fellow happens to Ss a PRO-
hibitiOnist'
''Ah! regular water cracker. ''-Phila-
delphia Public Ledger
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

Rownder-Blane the luck, anyhow!
Lusher-Whats the matter2
Rownder-Ah, my wife always stays
up for me when I'm out late at night.
Lusher-You ire lucky. Mine comes after
Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

Did you know. Willie. that your big
sister had invited me to take dinner with
your family next Sunday2" asked Mr..
NeWbeau.
'sSure,'' replied her little brother ma
and Pa told her they wanted to see what
kind of table manners you've got."-Phil-
adelphia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

Aunt-Yes, Johnny. Santa Claus brought
you a baby brother.
Johnny-Great Scottf Another present
that amt any use!-Harper Bazaar.
SingIeton-It's the little things that
worry a man most.
WedderIy-You bet It is. I've got six of
'ena to buy shoes for this winter.-Chicaso
News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

shadbolt-I had such a funny dream
last night
Dinguss-What was it?
Shadbolt-I dreamed that I asked ycu
for the money you owed me- and you
paid it.-Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

Church. see a New York man has Il
educated dogs.
Gothan-Good gracious mo wonder they
can't find seats for the children in the
public schools!-YonIers Statesman.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

Mrs. O'Reiley-And are yez on spakin'
terms wild our neighbour
Mrs Nurphy-Av course an. She
called me a thafe an called her an
Enthusiastically
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

Are you the little boy whose papa
writes so many cute sayings about chill
dren? ''
Yes ma am
Il suppose your papa is always eneour-
aging you to talk?'
mo, ma'an. He threatens to whip me
if even whisper when he is writing his
bright things the children have said -
Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

Mrs. Newwed-I know now why they
call EN- safety pins.
Mrs. OldWed-Why so2
Mrs. Newwed-Baby swallowed one last
week and 1t never hurt him g bit
Northern Budget.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-01

Ton1-Yes, Miss Roxley refused me. She
said there were q. dozen reasons why she
shouldn't marry me.
Dick-What were they2
Toni don't know. told her she need
not bother to mention the other eleven
DicS-The other eleyen2
TOnl-Yes, her first reason was that her
father had lost all his money.-Philadel-
pllia Press.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1905-10-19
Bids for County Funds Deepest.
tory Wanted.

In compliance with section 699 of the Revised
Statutes as amended by Chapter 1858, laws OF
1908, all banks, banking institutions, and trust
nual meeting of the county board of Pierce
County TO convene on the l4th day OF Novem,
Der, 1906 there will be placed before sad BOARD
for its action and approval any and all bids
from such banks, banking institutions or trust
companies for the deposit of the funds OF said
county, for the year commencing January l,
1906 Such proposals must be filed with the
county clerk ut least one day before the meet
ing of said board and must state the rate OF III
teIest the bidder will pay on daily balances,
such interest being computed and credited to
the county nc the end of each month and such
deposits and accrued interest being held sub
ject to draft and payment at all times on de-
mand
Dated at Ellsworth. Oct 5, 1906
O. j. HOHLE,
County Clerk, Pierce Co., Wis.