davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1905-08-25

any pants, because what pants the Arabs
didn't tear were worn Cd on the stones.
10 when be showed up 10 front Of the
spinks he was q sight. and he bought .
thrban Of . guide and unwound II and
wound Il around him in place Of pants.
| was ashamed Of dad myself. and II u
pretty hard 10 make me ashamed.
We went back 10 Cairo on the cars, and
what do you think. that dead camel that
the Arabs made dad pay for was with
The caravan going back to town. cause
we saw him out OF the car window with
the hair wore on where dad kicked him
In the side. The tourists say the Arabs
have that camel trained to die every day
when they get to the pyramids. and they
make some tenderfoot pay for him at the
end OF each journey. Dad IL going to try
To get his money back from the Egyp-
tian government, but | guess he will
realize on his claim.
Well. sir. after dad had doctorcd nil
night to get the camel rheumatism and
spinal meningitis out Of his system. we
took q trip by boat on the Nile, and saw
the banks whore the people grow crops
by irrigation. and where an English
syndicate has built a big dam. so tho
whole valley can be irrigated. and | tell
YOU IL will not he long before Egypt will
raise everything used In the world on
that desert. aud every other country
that ialses food 10 sell will be busted up
In business. but II Is disgusting to take
a trip ON the Nile. cause all the natives
are dirty and Alex with contagious dis
eases, and they are lazy and crippled.
and beg for living and II you cont give
them something they steal nil you got.
You are IN luck u you get away without
having l,prosy. W the plague. or chol-
era, or ileas.
SO we went back to Cairo. and there
was the worst comm,iion you ever saw.
about my fireworks In the tomb. The
papers said that an American dynamiter
had attempted to blow up the great pyr-
amid. and take possession OF tho country
aud place II under the American flag.
and that tho conspirators were spotted
and would be arrested and put Ia irons
as soon as they got back from a trip On
the Nile.
"''' ~ hhh iVuuu MS career Nohld
close right here, and that he would prob
ably spend the balance OF his life In an
Egyptian prison II We didn't get out. 20
We made a sneak and got Into ouf so,el
and bought disguiscs and are going o
get out Of here tonight. and try to get
to Gibraltar, or somewhere In sigh, Of
home. Dad is disguised as a shick. with
whiskers and u white robe. like a bath
robe aud ! am going to travel with FIN
as an Egyptian girl till w get through
the Suel canal.
Gee. but | wouldn't be a Niger girl
only to save dad. Your innocent.
HENNERY.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1905-08-25
CAMPING IN THE ROCKIES.
Delights Of the Evening Around the
Fire Described by an
Enthuriast.

About dusk You siraFglo In with trout
or game, Tn. campkeepcr lays aside
his mcnding or his repairing OF his note
book ana stirs VI tn. cooking nre. The
smell OF brolling and frying and boiling
arises In the air. by the dancing flames
Of the campfire you eat your third dinner
for the day-in the mountains all meals
are dinners. and formidable ones at that.
writes 5. T.. White. In The Mountains "
The curtain vi blacknoss drew down
close. Through It shine stars. loom
mountains cold aud mlstliLe In the
moon, You tell stories. You smoke
pipes. After a time the pleasant chill
creeps down from the eternal snovs.
Some M throws aEuthcr handful uf
pine cones on tho IRE sloopily you pre-.
pare for bed. The pine cones Hare NJ.
throwing their light In your eyes. You
turn over and wrap the soft WOO n
blanket close about your chin. You
wink diowsily and nj once loL are
asleep.
Late In the night you awaken 10 hnd
your o = as cold as n dogs. You opra
n eye. a few Goals mark where the
Ere has been. Tho mist mountains have
drawn nearer. they seem to bend over
you In silent contemplation. The moon
Ia sailing hlgh In the heavens. with a
sigh you draw the cnnyns trapaulln O icr
your head. Instantly II Is morning.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1905-08-25
ENGLISH OF FOREIGNERS.
Their Efforts at Mastering the L.an.
guage Are oftentimss Very
Ludricous.

The struggle Of foreigners who
have put their faith 10 dictionaries TO
account for English m she Is spoke
In New York are sometimes funny,
says the Times, An educated DUN
Italian asked an American who spoke
his language why tho dictionaries were
so badly made.
There ARE two expressions which I
hear constantly" he said. land neither
Of them Ia In aay dictionary have
looked Into. They are 'ahbetchu' and
'idono.'"
His American friend pondercd for q
season, and thcn. with a cheerful smile.
told him that "shbetchu" stood for II
bet YOU" and 'idono' was short for
II don't know"
but why" sail the Italian. "wher a
person Ia leaving. do you call saloon
after him? | can't understand Il. I
thought at frat It was a Joke, to insln-
uate that ! was going to 4 saloon. But
they call II after women. too
"Yonr saloon. my boy" replied the
American, "in simply so long, that IL
New York dialect for aidio. adieu.
adios. auf Wicdersehcn. farewell. or
good-by."
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1905-08-25
CHAIRS FoR CHILDREN.
Low Seats Absolutely Indispensable
where There Are Children and
High Ones Doubiy Dangerous.

She had been sitting a. stiil a. Q
t~hrce.year.old car or as long as Q
thrce-year-old will. when her mother
saw her begin to pat q chubby leg
with u chubby hand.
"what Is II. dear?" said the mother.
with the anxious tone In which n
mother hen ciucks TO her n chick.
"Oh. mother. my leg Is 70 drcary."
complained the little one.
The plant was not a new one. and
each time II was uttered II puzzled
the mother more than before. Now
for the hundredth time the mother
asked: What does II feel like. dcarY'
And this time the answer came:
1T feels like buzz"
And the mother knew that the III.
tie leg was asleep. II had eve oc-
II has occurred to thousands OF others
how natural II Is for a little Lex 10
become "drcary" from dangling over
the edge OF a chair. with no rest for
the feet aud no rest for the back. In
that particular house, before another
- hours had passed there was q
child low chair IN every room. and
after this only child camc to the es
tate Of grown folks chairs. ono OF her
baby chairs was kept that there might
never be- an excuse for droary legi
when there were child visitors In tn,
house.
Thu Ia but n OF many little cruel
ties 10 children NJ which rrown1lpr
are unoousclonsly guilty every hour
Of every day In this cas there IL
not only the temporary discomfort ol
the child 10 he rcckoned with. hnt ia,
Interruption Of circulation often ~
pcat.d brings about a condition tina,
may result In atrophy Of the muscles
which Is the cause OF many slight 30
formltlca In children. There Ia or
record In a New York hospital th'
case OF "a child suffering from paftia
paralysis which had sat lay after dal
for months In a hlRh chair by the eide
Of n hcdriddon mother: and whci
finally The mother died and the chill
was taken TO the hospital It's leEs hat
grown IA the shape Of the chair u
which II had sat 70 Ions. OF cours'
this would not have happened but 70.
the riralyzcd condition OF th'
muscle. but undoubtedly the case wal
aggravated by the checking OF the cir
oulation.
Thorr Is also the eve present dan
ger 81 a chili's falling from a higl
chair. sustaining permanent injur,
The cost OF a low chair Is a tritilnl
,hInf mothors should stop and thinl
how ihcy would liso 10 N on a chat
about a. high ms a sldeboarl or
chinuuier -Bcrtha II. Smith. In Goo
Housr.replng.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1905-08-25
Bread Cake.

When ready to mold your light bread
INTO pans. take a quart OF the light dough
before you knead II any. put 1t Into q
crock or pan, add two cupfuls sugar. one
half cupful butter or suet Il have used
ard when | lad neither. two eggs, one
tsaspoonful each of the following spices:
ginger, allspice, cinnamon. cloves. nut
meg, One cupful raisins, one tea
spoonful soda dissolved In one-half cup.
ul boiling water, and -four I'll VI the
right consistency, Put In O hot over
and bake about an hour.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1905-08-25

dies that the guides carried. and up and
down stairs. until finally we got into a
big room that smelled like morgue.
with bats and evil looking things all
around. and | felt creepy.
The guides got down OF their knees to
pray. and | thought II was time To be
robbed AGAIN. | do not know what made
me think OF making n sensation right
there In the bowel, OF that pyramid,
where there were corpses thousands of
years old. OF Egypt's rulers, ! neve
felt that way nj homoAwhen | visited a
cemetery. but | thought | would shoot
my last roman candle aud fire my last
giant irecrackcr right there IN that mos
elcum, and take the chances that we
would get out alive. SO when the tour
lists were lined M beside a tomb OF some
Ramcses or other. and the guides were
praying for strength and endurance.
probably. to get away with all the mon
oy We had. | picked out n place mp toward
the roof that seemed full OF bats and
birds OF III omen. and | sncakod my
roman candle out from under my shirt.
and touched the fuse TO a candle on the
turban Of a guide who wa on his knees.
aud just rs the first FIRE ball Vas ready
TO CONT out | yelled: "Whoop.la.much.
q wano. 9 pluribus uuum." and the FIRE
balls lighted up the gloom aud knocked
, the bats gally west.
Holy Jumping cats. but you ought to
have seen the guides. yelling Allah,
| Allah! and groyellng ON the floor. and
the bats were flying around In the faces
of the tourists. and everybody was sim
ply scared out OF their boots. thought
II might rs well wind the thing up glo'
rlous. w | touched tho tail Of my last
! Giant f%irocfackor to the sparks that were
oollnR ont of my empty nmu candle.
aud threw II Into the middle of the great
room, and when It went on YOU would
think a cannon had exploded, and every
body rushed for the door. and We fell
over each other getting out through the
| passage towards tho door.
wa the first To get out on 10 tho side
Of the pyramid. and | watched for the
! crowd to come out. The tourists got out
hrst. and then dad came out. pulling and
Wheeling. aud the last 10 come out were
TIE ARABS, ana th'y eahle on th"lf hahus
and knees. calling To Mr.. Allah and every
one OF them actually pale. and | think
they were conscience stricken, for they
began In give back the money they had
robbed dad Of. and IN Arab mus, be pref
~ scared to give up any of his
~hard-oarned robbcries, | think dad was
about the maddost man there was, until
he got some Of his money back. when he
felt better, but he gave me u talking TO
that ! will never forget.
lie said: Don't you know bet
ter than to go around with explo-
sivcs, like u train robber, and fire
them on In a hole In the ground, where
there IL NJ ventilation, and make peo-
pies cars ring? Maybe you have woke
up those kings and queens In there, and
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1905-08-25

MNNR0AR
@a% 50 EsO~
The Bad Boy and His Dad Climb the
Pyramids-rhe Bad Boy Lights q
Cannon Cracker in Rameses' Tomb
They flse from Egypt In Dis
guise.


ny HON. GEORGE W. PECK.
rEx-goyernor OF Wisconsin. Former Ed
tor OF "Peck's sun Author of "Tcck's
had Boy" Etc.)
Uopyrigh,. 1906. by Joseph u Dowies)
Cairo. Egypt.-My Dear Old Gcezer:
4 broke on my last letter In sight Of the
pyramids. when | was left alone on the
desert. my jackass having stampedcd
with the camels. on account Of my IRE
works. aud I presume you think | WINS
all In. but | got to the pyramids before
the stampeded rav did. raw n car
coming along. and | Just got aboard and
IN ten minutes | was ut the base OF
the big pyramid. and the camel with dad
on between the humps. was humping
himself half u mile away, trying 10 get
there. and tho other camels. with the
Arabs. were stretched ou like horses
IN a race. behind, and my Jackass was
right next TO dads camel. braylng and
occasionally kicking dads camel In the
stats.
There were about n hundred tourists
around the base Of the big pyramid, all
looking towards the stampede OF the
camcls. and | told them my dad, the
gr.a, American millionaire. was on the
runaway camel In advance. and asked
them to form q line across the trail and
save dad. but when the camel came neat.
or | was ashamed Of dad. He had his
arms around the the front hump OF the
camel. and he was yelling for help TO
stop his %mcnagorlo. and his legs were
dying In the air. aud every time they
came down they kicked n hole In the side
OF the camel.
Well. sir, | thought dad was n brave
man. hut he blattcd like u cali. aud when
the camel stopped aud wen to eating n
clump OF grass dad opened his eyes. aud
when be saw that the procession had
stopped he rolled on his camel like a
bag Ut wheat, aud stuck In the sand and
began TO say a prayer. but when he saw
me standing there. laughing. he stopped
praying and said to me: Il thought you
we're blown up when that jackass kicked
the ran OF dynamite. You have more
lives than n eat. Now. get n hustle on
,ou and We viii climb that pyramid. aud
then qui, this blasted country and dad
sat down on a hummocl, aud began 10
pun himself together. after the mos,
fearful ride he ever had. He said the
camel Hoped, ,rot,cd. g~alloped. single.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1905-08-25

changed n dynasty, you little idiot, The
rest Of the crowd wanted TO throw me
down the side OF the pyramid, but | got
away from them and went up on top oil
the pyramid and holsted a small Ameri.
can flag. and left It floating there, aud
then came back to where the crowd was
discussing the explosion In the tomb,
and then We all went down the side OF
tho pyramid.
The guides got their nerve back after
they got out In the air, because they
wouldn't help dad down unless he paid
them something every stone they helped
him climb down. so when he got down
he didn't have any money, and hardly
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1905-08-25

footed and SHE'D all AZ the same time.
and when u hump was not Jamming
him In the back the other hump was
kicking him III the stomach. aud II he
had u gun he would shoot the camel, and
the Arabs, and bust up the show.
By the time dad got 80 he could stand
NJ without leaning against a pyramid
the Arabs came up and they all talked
At once, and drew knives, and II seemed
as though they were blaming dad for
something. We found an Interpreter
among the tourists, and he talked with
the Arabs, and pointing To the camel dad
had ridden, which was stretched out on
the sand like he was dead, he told dad
the Arabs wanted him To pay for the
camel he had ridden to death, and foun-
dcrcd by letting II drink u wagon load Of
water, and then entered In a race across
the desert, and the Interpreter said dad
better pay, or they would kill him.
Dad settled for the camel for hun
dred dollars. and a promise Of The skin
of the camel, which he was going to take
home and have stuffed. Their n man
who pretended TO be n Justice Of the
peace had dad arrested for driving on
Of a walk. and he was fined SO and costs
for that, and then all the Arabs struck
him for money for one thing and an
other, and when he had settled all
around and paid extra for not riding
back to Cairo on the camel, we got
ready TO climb up the pyramid. Dad
said he wouldn't ride that camel back
TO Cairo for n million dollars, for he was
split up so his legs began where his arms
left on. and he was lame from Genesis
20 Revelations.
But | never saw such a lot OF people to
pray ms these pirates are. Just before
they rob a man they get down on their
knees on a rug, and humble something
70 some god, and after they have got you
robbed good and plenty. they get down
and pray. while they ara concealing the
money they took from you. Gee. but
whca ] get home ! am going to steer
the train robbers aud burglars onto the
IDEA OF always being on praying
grounds. fr
Well, ! told dad he hadn't better try to
climb up the pyramid. that | would go
up cause ! could climb like a goat, and
Shen got up to tho ton I would IRE n
salute, SO everybody would know that a
's'ar spnnglod American was On deck, but
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1905-08-25

dad said hs would 20 up OF quilt the tour.
ist business. He said no had come thou
sands Of miles to climb the pyramids.
and sit In the shadow Of the spinks, and
BY ginger be was going to do It. and so
VI started.
Well. say. each stone IL about four feet
high. and dad couldn't get M without
help. SO IN Arab would 20 up q stone
ahead, and take hold Of dads hands. and
two more Arabs would get their shoul-
ders under dads pants. and shove. and
he would get up gradually. We got
about half way up when dad weakened.
and said he didn't care NO much about
pyramids M he thought he did. and he
was ready TO quit. but the guide and
some Of the tourists said VI were right
near the entrance to the great tomb Of
the kings. and that we better 40 In and
nj least make a formal call on the
crowned heads, and 20 We went In.
through dark passages, with little can.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1905-08-25

wAss ! man ocIiss sSoss si1Ms
sscuna-A decidOrseu4 ~ 49,
or thAAikAl mako hip; 4 ep49-
keeper, that she will DO Bis msn11no
and preside well ct HE tabls, and -
addresses her. emitting Ill th6hshs =
romance, he 10 not likely 10 eve o. -
ceive much happiness. DecTa uoeoo
hopeless In this higher sense. Aarried
happiness must have lows for Its foun-
dalton stone. All saisfy1nS pleasure
by tbs hearth Is kindled by the breath
Of true love. This 'is.t n trsttin . -
ond or third marriage % In The nHe
VIC must admit that people some.
times ind their true mates later rather
than earlier In life. We are not shs
same people at 10 that We wer4 ~ 70,
o at 80 that we were Of IS. Our char.
acters have b~roadcncd. We have taken
In new ideas from many sbuscess
Great disparity of age shopl6.b b
avoided. The man Of 80 seldom pefks
a wife near him In age. but let Him
beware OF paying court TO . vcfy 'yoane
girl. She and he will look at life from
q different standpoint.i They !WiH 70
be on the same plane. II she ~ oneiaI
and no prefers an arm chair Apd ths
evening lamp a, home, there I'll ee ~
cyitable Jars.
A father who has Young daughters
In their early womanhood ashoqib not
bring Into their mothers plaza = wife
who Ia about the & OF his qwp, Sldsse
SRI. Occasionally. but rarely. such .
choice turns out well. when Il 0oes
IL reflects great honor On dn"seen-
cctncd. Generally. It results In h>nft'
ache and friction all around. and Alien
II causes a broken homo and Ireeonel'
able %aniaEonlsm follows.
Many wives would do will 'Vo"teass
their laborloua struggle and NO. bouecf
necessary self abnegntion when pros'
pcrity comcs 10 their hu,panAs,I Apa 10
begin a, once the sort * lie his sec.
ond wife would five. They may -
well array themselves ~ soft raiment
and insist on adequate help In ne
household before they are fAid upstS .
sick bed. Excellent and dvyotedJnps'
bands are often ih~onghtiesa To, thslr
ewes Jenny looks well In anything. IL
never occurs TO them that NC In 4efr-
ip; A frumpy gown or a. dowdy mat.
They would he willing 20 eNe .her say
thiHr she crayed. n they recognised Q
lack. Nv every law the first marriage,
that union Of hearts which begins
when man aud are In the Ea'i-
ness aud strength Of rhvtr early DAY
should be the on. perfect. and nssndsd
aphcro. IN. one glorious fxul,Ioa. ,xth-
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1905-08-25

points which cross below the bust;
they are each trimmed with fancy silk
ornaments. The sleeves form . full
pun to the elbow. then are anished
with hour frills OF lace sewn on . not
foundation. silk ornaments also tnm
the bodice above the bust.
Materials required. ?is yards ~
Inches wide, ~ yard lace Is inches
wide 10 yards lace. 10 ornaments. .
yards lining. a.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1905-08-25

Very dirty. greasy towels should not
De put into no, soapsuds, This sets the
dirt, and increases the difficulty OF wash
Ing them. Wash In lukewarm water
irst
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1905-08-25

Hanenai;s should be softened with
vasellne' and then removed very care
fully with the pointed scissors. You
will not have haugnails II you Will
lift up the cuticle about The nail ~
keep It from adherinA
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1905-08-25

1--WE thought" said the reporter,
shat You might care to SAY something
about these charles against you"
"No," r~eplieiithe crooked public Of.
fciai. Il behave that silence Is
GOLDEN"
well" replied the reporter. per
haps the public might believe ~
merely Gilt In this case."-Ca'holl'
standard and Times
Arizona republican., 1905-07-11
WHY HE WANTED RAIN.

Rev. MT. Livingston of Georgia, told this story:
 "A friend of mine down in one of the small towns of Georgia has many proteges among the people in the mountain country near. Several years ago there was a long, dry spell in Georgia. At about the beginning of il the wife Of one of the mountaineers died. The disconsolate husband fol- lowed her to the grave and was the last to leave the burying ground. His footprints remained, large and dis tinct in the clay beside the grave. Six weeks afterward my friend drove out to see how the widOwer was doing. He was sitting in the door of his cabin staring hopelessly at the clOudless sky.
 Eff it would only turn in and rain, v he said, 'I wouldn't ask anything of nobody"
 "'The dry weather is bad for the crops the visitor remarked.
 ""Taint crops said the widower, hits Miss Seliny Johnson. She swears she won't marry me until it rains.
 She lows it wouldn't be showing proper respect for my first wife to marry before my tracks in the grave yard is washed out. I shore do wish it would turn to an rain. I been courtin' her six weeks. Good Lord, a man 'kaint wait or the weather forever" = Brooklyn Eagle.
Arizona republican., 1905-07-11
Enhu Root.

The Sun" having given to the American public one of MT. Hays pri- vate letters. the New York Times now divulges the substance of a pri- vate talk he had with a personal friend before Elihu Roots return to private life. We quote:
 MT. Hay admitting that the spe- Cifc work which MT. Root had taken the secretaryship of war to do had in the main been accomplished, depIOred as a public loss the retirement of MT. Root from the cabinet, where he ought to be retained. Not necessarily in the same place" added MT. Hay. with his usual generosity; this one is per fectly at his disposal, so far as I am concerned" And upon his friend ex- postulating that nobody desired change in that place. he gave some personal reasons why he would pre- fer to retire, and added that. in his service as secretary of state. he had often found himself at a disadvantage from a lack of the legal training and habitude which Mir. Root so eminently possessed. There is unhappily no inn propriety in recalling now this opin- ion of John Hays concerning Elihu Root"
 We think our New York contem- porary would learn, by inquiry in the proper quarter. that at no time in re- cent years was John Hays opinion Of Elihu Root a whit higher than Elihu T0L of the two associates was great enough to recognize and value the greatness of the other without a twinge of jealousy. Between Hamilton and Jefferson, in the first presidents cabinet, nasural incompatibility became irrepressible conflict. John Hay and EIihu Root were loyal friends.
 Possibly MT. Hay rather overes -i- mated the importance of legal train ing and habitude" to a secretary of state. It still seems to us that his own education-in the Abraham Lin coin years and in the following years for the duties of that high office was almost ideal. We can recall the names of distinguished lawyers whose passage through the state department neither enhanced their fame nor con- ferred any specially remarkable bene- fits upon the country. But MT. Roots case is quite different. He is an emi- nent lawyer, but he is also today a. tested and approved statesman. His qualities and capacities are not con jectural; tkey have been demonstrated with all the people looking on.