The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1905-06-11
Aunt Samantha
(New York American. }


Gibson, whut makes dose pictures of
dem lean an hongry looking females,
sho' is a enemy, to women" observed
Mirandy as she looked contemptuously
at the illustration in current periodi-
call. "Yessum, he sho' is brought
down trouble an tribulation on wo-
men when he made de living skeleton
de fashion.
i.De I.awd knows whar dat man got
his pattern for women. l specs he
must have dreampt it, for when de
Good Marster made creeter dat
shape he called it a snake, and not a
woman.
~When woman is lax Cord made
her. eff she is got broad shoulders, she
got broad hips to balance UNI, an eff
she's got one of desc here twenty,
weenty. hour glass waists, de balance
of her is bones TO go wild um, an she's
got neck as stringy as afturkey COB
blers, an arms dat look lax drum
sticks.
"But land of mussy, dis here Mistah
Gibson knows a lot more about how
to make woman dan de Creator did.
He don't turn out no bunglin' job. He
des makes ladies whut's fat and plump
in de neck and shoulders. an po' and
skinny at de waist line, an dat amt
got no hips an no stomach, an dey
"Co'se dem pictures wouldn't make
no difference cep'n dat women is clean
daft bout making themselves look lax
dem, an when fat lady whut tits de
scales at round about two hundred
pounds undertakes to cut herself over
by de Gibson pattern she sho' has
tackled government job. but dat
don't hinder her from dom it.
'Naw'm: she wadeS right in, Gaze
~Jsaf- 1fxri., Dot dnTnff
think dat all she needs to be puffickly
beautiful is ies' one leetIe touch mo-.
You sho' can work a woman about
her looks. You tell a woman dat
she'll die eff she don't take some ex-
ercise and quit eatin' so much an
she'll set fast in her rocking cheer an
pass her plate back for de fourth hep
of corn beef and cabbage, but you
tell her dat she can get figger lax
bean pole by dientin and walkin'
an she'll starve herself widout muir
muir an patrol de streets lax de cop
on de beat.
'tYassum. women sho' do suffer in
de cause of thinness, an so far as
can see all dis misery dat dey goes
through tryin to look lax telefoam
pole when de good Lawd made UNI lax
a sack of -four is des work and worry
wasted.
"Co'se when a woman does widout
ev'y thing dat she laks to eat an
spends her time lopin' aroun and
turnin' hand springs to keep young
and graceful, it's because she thinks
she's gwine to make hit wild de men,
an have UNI walking backwards to
look at her. Eff dey want nobody but
women in dc world udder women
wouldn't care wedder DER waist
measure was % or AZ inches. but
when a man sashays along a woman
wants to look so slim dat you'd think
de wind would SLOW her away
AN right dere is whar de sisters
draps DER rabbit foot, Gaze men amt
SO on scrawny women, an Yhen dey
goes to pick out wife dey is mighty
apt to pass by de bag of bones. an
choose a woman OATS fat an good ma
tured lookin', an easy to feed.
Yassum, a man is jes' naturally draw
ed to a woman whut looks lax she
knowed all dere was to know bout
good eatin am cookin' and is too hefty
to move around spry enough to keep
up wild him.
EFF you'll notice you'll see dat mos
of de ole maids belongs to de razor
back class. Yassum, OATS a fac. Dey
amt rnothin' about one of desc here
po'. stringy, starved looking women
udl a IiAcili liAlllh cDOOt W SOlll-
forts of home.
''Naw'm, amt botherin' myself
about gettin' fat. and l amt a dietin'
an a scrinchin' on whut / eats Gaze eff
Use got to choose between Ike an
polk chops Use gwine to take de polk
chopss Deres more substance to UNI
dan dey is to de love dat can't stand
annuder inch in your waist measure.
But de udder day one of dem po',
harried creeters whut's reduced ontel
she looks dat loose in her skin dat she
makes you skeered dat she'll drap out,
comes TO me an says:
u sees. Sis Mirandy, dat youse
takin on flesh
Well, l spends. as you gifts along
towards middle life youse elder got
to fatten or thin, an dere amt much
choice betwixt an between um. One
way you look lax a peanut an de I'D
der way you dock lax a pint of grease,
an it's jes as broad as it's long.
But you'se losing your figure,
says she.