Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-06-08

g
ries the Man in Way She Marries
the Family.
By KATE UPsoN CLARK.
Copyright, 1905, by Joseph B. -Bowles.)
1t is probable that not one girl In .
thousand-if so many-is. instructed be-
fore marriage as to her duties to her
mothe1in-law.
Conversely, how many mothers-in-law
study the duties Of their position?
One of the chief stupidities among the
many with which human nature is AZ
fiicted is that of not taking the long
view. " ~
A mother says: "Oh; my boy is leav-
ing home to start out in business for
himself. How dreadful this Isl"
Well-what did you bring him up for:
Did you look forward to having him tied
always Ito your apron strings?" Did
you intend to support him in manhood,
just as you did in childhood? And did
you suppose, in case he earned his own
living at all, that he would always be
able to stay at home and do it? Had
you not observed that large proportion
of sons have to leave their parents home
and go to some distant place in order to
make the best living? ...'..~ s..
And then did you intend that he
should live a bachelor-never having the
dignity and Joy of home and wife and
children Of his own? Did you think,
with all the lessons of past generations
behind you-especially Of your own and
your husbands experience-that the
love of his parents was going to be
enough for him? Did you not fore
see that stronger and deeper love must
and should-come to him some day?
And is it possible that you were SO self
ish that you were sorry that this bright
est Of all earthly experiences (if it occur
In the natural way and between noble
sOuls), was coming some day to your
boy? ~. s H..
The woman who does not thus look
forward and thus rejoice must be lack
! ing both mentally and morally.
The good woman brings her boy up
to aim at independence in manhood; and
II in the1ong view that independence
seems likely to come more quickly or
more richly in some distant place than
near his home, she speeds him on his
way.
She wants him to set up a home for
himself She does not want him to live
and die an old bachelor. A superfluity
of bachelors is one of the greatest
plaques with which a community can be
cursed.
- .
She knows that she will have to over
look faults, and that she cannot expect
the new daughter-in-lawt to fall in love
with her, just because she is the mother
of that daughters husband. She knows
that every relation in life has its own
peculiar trials and joys, and that some
preparation of mind and spirit should
be made in order that that relation may
be properly maintained. ..-. -
Yet how many women take this long
view of life, and try to fit themselves,
as the time approaches, for the high Of
flee of the motner-in-law? Judging
from the funny papers," We should
answer: Every few"
One vivacious, but faithful and affec-
tionate mother, went one day to visit
an older friend, and said, laughingly:
"You have heard that my Tom is going
to marry Amy v. tits good match
and we are all pleased. We are going
to miss our good boy cruelly-but long
ago determined not to grieve for any
such thing as this. l have always been
concerned for fear might fail in my
duties as wife and mother Now have
a new fear. would not for the world
fail in my duties as mother-in-law.
But they seem to be of q delicate and
difficult nature. I understand that q
really satisfactory mother -in-law is one
of the rarest creatures in existence. You
have been a mOther-in.law for some
years now-and you are model in what
ever you undertake. Now, give me the
benefit of your experience"
"Well," returned the older lady,
"there are only a few points Of which
am perfectly sure. These are: Let the
young people entirely alone, as far as
giving advice or criticising is concerned.
Do whatever they ask you to. Give them
all the nice things you can. Say pleas
ant things-and leave the unpleasant
things unsaid, unless there is absolute
necessity. That is as far as can in
struct you"
But those of the daughter: in-law are
quite as important. The girl who prom
ises to marry q young man may boast