davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-11-17

How nice 1T must be to have that
dear little thing watching for a fellow
every day!
The young lady turned a little anx-
tous look upon him from a pair of
wide, blue eyes.
DO you suppose it can be mended?"
she asked, c%onf1dingly.
"Oh, yes, indeed!" was Gilbert's
reckless answer, although he knew no
more about 1t than she did.
!, And when can I have it?"
Tomorrow said Gilbert, promptly,
congratulating himself on the pros
pect.
$50 soono Very we'll"
She nodded her bright little head
at him inc ran up the steps while
Gilbert passed On with an additional
umbrella in his hand and visions of
golden curls, blue eyes and rosy lips
mingling in delightful confusion in his
brain.
That evening he sat down to sup
per with a dreamy and distracted air.
His sister tried to rally him.
Gil" she said, your future wife is
in town."
"Eh-what?" said Gilbert.
THE girl whom l have decided upon
for my s~ister-in-law," pursued Amy,
laughingly. She was 49,, in the same
Juol 1klONSA " SONVA otAA ASNS WYNN
you must call with me-"
We'll, I'll see about it," said Gill
bert dreamily, as he put a teaspoonful
of salt into his second cup of tea.
Amy looked at him with wide-eyed
amazement.
What has come over the boy?" she
CALCULATED. ."Gil, DEAR" leaning across
the table. ''you have not been gam
bling or robbing the bank. have YOU'D
Gilbert shook his head as asreply.
The next morning on his way to the
city ne rang the bell OF the house
which contained his unknown beauty.
A young lady opened the door.
Il shall not be able to. return your
umbrella today" hes explained. glibly.
1T will take longer to repair than
expected. Tomorrow, without fail. ]
will bring it."
: Colbert had left the umbrella with
an old man, whose sole employment
consisted In mending chairs, umbrella
and musical instruments.)
.oh. veFy ave4l.'' said the little lady,
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-11-17
Almost Exasperatinq.

From the Chicago Record-Tierald.
DO you object to telling the court youi
ege?' asked the attorney.
do I look as If l had reason to be afraid
to tell how old 1 am?" she Indignantly an
swered.
.Oh. no, no. didn't mean that at all.
I assure you that 1t Is common even for
women who are young to decline to give
their ages
IAN l to understand from your remarks
you consider me old Your use of the word
even indicates that you do"
II had no such intention, madam, 1 as
sure you"
1T seems to me that you have a poor
way of saying what YOU mean"
THAT must be a mere matter of opin-
Jon. / will try to speak plainly, SO that
there may be no misunderstanding. Will
you please tell the court how old you are?s'
DO you wish to have me tell the day Of
the month on which I was born?"
You may If o wish to do so, but that
is not essential
We'll. it was the 9th of October.
"Yes?"
My mothers maiden name was Mary
Williams and I live at 967 Grandson ave-
nue.. There. My goodness! It's almost as
annoying to get a divorce as to start q
Nank account"
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-11-17

brother the tall young man who had
taken her umbrella to mend!
Gil smiled into the wide blu eyes Of
Miss Claire Edmonds. and bowed low
before her. while she. after one swift,
b~ewildered glance. burst into a merry
peal Of laughter, In which she was
Joined by Gilbert.
Why, it's the umbrella mani" She
exclaimed. and Amy looked on.in blank
amazenent. wondering if her brother
and her friend a taken leave Of their
senses.
Explanation followed. OF course my
readers may imagine hat Gilbert's first.
call was not his last one. and that
Amy's matrimonial air castles We're
built of substantial material, for GIL
bert Reynolds and the pretty fair
haired girl are happiest when sharing,
n umbrella, and they are soon to be
married.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-11-17
One Man ana Ono Monaco.

Washington special: Samuel w.
Smith, one OF the Michigan represents
elevator.
Last June he observed. st was In.
Washington. Then I guessed. Cleye-
land would be the democratic nomynee
for the presidency In 1904. but Z zee
that Cleveland has. Withdrew, and 7
suppose I must guess sSain."
And who will be the democratic
nominee"
ny CUES . cl.ssl.ad.. r.tortea.
ths Ntchigander.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-11-17

The following IL n Dunkard hoy's.
composition on head" There is q
lot OF heads, bald heads. and SO 4t!:. Pa
he's one. Ma she's lcnghcadedFAnd Pa
he's 6%ul!Eeaded. I':n iedhcaded. The
smars end OF the boy is his head. ex-
cept wrhcH he gets spanked. blu. the
smart end of the bee IS not there. OH,
no. Pa says X a iellar hns = head bsj
IAN get ahead ia TIC world. but I don't
want q head like he gets OF Hfsa he
goee gu. witt. the bU3s."-Ex.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-11-17
He Wanted Minstrelsy.

from the kansas City Times.
The Orpheum needed a porter YESTERDAY.
and several negroes came TO try to secure
the place. The appearance of one. a mid
die aged man, who looked as though he
might have come from the country, suited
Manager Lehman pretty we'll and he called
him into the private office and offered him
the job.
You may go to work today, IL you
wish" said the manager.
'tJes' a minute, sah." came from the ap-
plicant.. LAS All undal.stan' it de potah
is lowed to see the shows free. Is All
right?"
You are,' replied Mr.. Lehman.
well, mistah. is they much minstrel
show kind o. business at this theatah2"
.'Some-very little. though said Nam
ager Lehman. The negro though a mo-
ment and then began buttoning up his
coat.
"Ah guess" he said, "Ah doan' want
this job. All got no use TO gran opry."
And out he vent.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-11-17
HOW l PLAYED THE HOST AT MY
OWN FIRESIDE.

the madness had passed for both of us;
and when 1 stirred. Richard broke out
in a tremendous babblement of thanks
giving for that he had not slain me
outright.
Il was mad. JACK: as mad as any
Bediamite," he would say. The devil
whispered me that you would fight:
that you wanted but decent excuse
when ! saw you would not stir. twas
too late to do avght but turn the Nat
OF the blade: OH God. me! I'll
never let . second thought Of that little
Tory prat-a-pace send me to hell
again"
Nay" said I; mo such rash prom
ises. I pray you. Richard. We are but
two poor fools. With the love Of : wom-
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-11-17
A Story ia Popular Songs.

From the Kansas City Times.
"Benita" loved MI Dooley'' but he pre-
ferred"sweet Genevieve" whom he met
I'm Old New York Town I'm The Good
Old Summer Time" Her home was Mic
The Green Fields OF Virginia." Now this
girl lover a youth named alexander" a
brother-in-lsw of Nancy Brown" whom
she met On The Old Oaken ridge"'.Dow
The Shady Lane" One day Mr.. Dooley"
said to his Lady Love- There Is Only
One Girl In This World For Me-" 1t is
You" She told him he was in Might
mare Land" VIVA Do You Think OF
That?" All this time 'Benita'' loved him
Better Than Cold" but he was Drifting
Farther From Her Day Ply Day.'s He saw
there was to be no Picnic For Two" in
the Moonlight" for him SO far as the girl
he loved was concerned so he said. IT
Don't Know Where I'm Going, But I'm
On My Way. and left his "Dearie"
Alone Drifting finally to THE Bank
OF The Wabash" moaning all the time.
ST Want Somebody To Low Me-" "Alex-
ander' later married Sweet Gencvieve.''
:'Benita' died of IA Broken Heat and
was buried I'm The Shade OF Tho Old
Apple Tree I'm Dear Old Georgia."
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-11-17
MORE Or LESS HUMOROUS.
Hold the Rope.
From the Pittsburg pisp,

from the FIttSbWfg Dispatch.
Mike was but two weeks from Ireland
when he secured a position i'll the house
hold of a Pit{sburg millionaire. Ills broth
er. long in The employ OF this master,
coached the greenhorn ana carefully tend
ed to his progress. One day .le telephone
bell rang, and Mike. who had often heard
line" was ordered by his brother to an
swer the cali. The following is the CONVEX.
sation:
yoice-Ns no is that?
Mike-lt's me, Moike.
Voice-I don't want you. Is Mrs. c. a,
home?
Mike-Yis, she's right here, mum; just
hold the rope.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-11-17
Econ the 1,root,,y, roe,o

From the Brooklyn Eagle.
Mrs. 1Ioylc-..NIy first husband went to
bed with the chickens.'
Mr.. Doyle--"And your second husband?' 90
MRS. Hoyle-"Hc goes to hcL wncn the
chickens arc gcttiEx cp."
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-11-17
1|E MASTER OF APPLEBY
NJ Francis Lvnds.

~
SsFs514 NJ ,s-s
sM Il grnn
M3
f
CHATTER NL.-Conttnued.
ssssScor one for me. Jack!'s he cried,
were fair ~ t'other end Of the
Nm mon IN tha twn Earolinas
VIM cn;,ld swear the match Of that.
Then .he whiried a,non nv Judges,
sevvhat5 III fhisI& enf}emen?la court
n,nrt9s1s ~, f.,n I%ratnnsi my friend
ans s. tr,,e 8 natriot az aver drew
hreath what IL VOW cha rre2"
Coinna, seviar IN whose
Ricbara ana fha old horderer had
fo,,rhf IN the nilltnn hattie undertook,
"a eynlain 4 stood -seIfsconfesse AS
+ & haa rer Or djsna tches from Lord
C.nrnWailis ana Major ferguson. he
Said and 81 had claimed that the orders
had heen 90 altered as to DELAY the ma
fnrss retreat and 40 To hiring on the bat
Tia hut thew had lust found Lord
Cornwallis' letter in my pocket. still
seaIed and undeliyered. And the tenor
If n was nraciselv onnosite To that of
nm rders "a de1ay the ma
Tors marchssas MI. ,Jennifer could see
3 if ne would & It.
White Sewer was talking, the old
5ShnrnREfnTsVQA hi e1n. tha fnfeASf Oh
his ShuntinR-shirt. and now he produced
q packet 81 Dapers tied with red b
= PEARS tosme ike O %Iniun-killers
from t'other side o. the mounting is in
q miehty hot sweat to han some
body" he said. as cody as IL he were
addressing q mob OF underlings.
ssHere's a mess o, billy-doos with Lord
Cornwaliis' name on ;em that / found
smongst Major Ferxuson,s leayings. II
YOUTH look 'emS e maybe you'll find
out. immeiitly If not soner. that Cap'n
John here is telling We the plumb
truth.
The ape were examined hastily,
and presently John Sewer lighted upon
the dispatch L had carried deliv-
cred. Thereat the colonels put thsir
heads together; and then my case was
sareopened, with Sewer as spokesman.
We have q letter here which ap-
pears to be the original order to Fer
8uson, Captain Ireton. Can you repeat
from memory the po~stscriptum which
you say was added to it,"
gave the gfst of my old ~patriarch's
Addendum as well as I could; and
~thereupon suspicion fled away and my
late Judges would vie with one another.
In hearty frontier h~and-grasps and
apologies. whilst the sthrong that ringe.1
Ns In forgot caution and WEAKNESS and
\ rave me q cheer to wake the echoes
CO tAiAS OAASS+OA
was abnxxsthat Ephraim Yeates raised
OF his own.
81 that there black-leged imp o.
the law ~ III shouted. pushing his way
out Of the circle. He's the one thai
ought TO hang
was q rush for the wag bar
rtcade,sSa clattersof horse-hoots on the
hillside below, and Yeates' rifle Went
stoashis face. But the bullet dew
Wide, nj h black-garbed figure
Sscltngtng to the horses was soon
g saofs sight among the trees:
allow:..ye'd better look out for
that yaller-skinned little varmint,
sCapsn John. quoth the old man. care
fully wtping his rifle preparatory to res
ding ~. He's rank pizea, he TEL
ND yeslt have to break his neck soones.
sr later lowed e the trout
Die but old Bess gOt mighty tSul yes
9 with al the shootinss nnd sos
In on. and + hainst got no .~es.d-Srle.i
So.clean her out.
81 q g fully eXcEe-tea
49, Tree 20 70 and come as ] chose.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-11-17

a Spirited BOY.
A broker sneered at the recent Story y.
Andrew Carnegie,s reputed declaration
that his epitaph was 10 be. That's
id white OF Andy"
t.AIr. Carnegie is q wise man, not a fool,'
said the broker. 1T is true that he has
done in his time odd and remarkable
things. All those things, though, had q
wise purpose behind them. The purpose
of such an epitaph rs That's id white
of Andy could only be to evoke ridicule.
II once visited Dunfernline, Mr.. Car
negie's birthplace. They told me there q
story about him that illustrated the ten
actty and perseverance of his childhood
his bulldog determination to ride down
every obstacle and lea~h his end.
ut seems that at the little Dunfernline
school the master called Andrew up one
day, and asked him how much seven times
nine was.
The boy, unable to hit on the answer
Immediately, began to go over the entire
table:g
Twice nine is eighteen, thrice nine is
t~wenty-seven, four times nine Is thirty
SIX, five
'But the master Interrupted impatiently,
mo. no. he said. Give me tho an
swer straight or
After some thought tho boy began
again:
Twice nine is eighteen. thrice nine IL
twenty-seven. four times--'
mo Straight off. sc2catcd tic mas
ter.
...Haud yer COB. man. the boy cried
p~assionately. 'Ye've spo.lt me twice, an
do ye want to apoil mo a third ti,ne??'N
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-11-17
Stranded in Sioux City.

From the Boston Herald.
General Miles tells the following story
of the strenuous times when he was III
active service in the west:
One day he received a telegram from q
subordinate who was injured in a railroad
accident while on %furlough. which read:
...Will not report today, as expected. on
account of unavoidable circumstances"
Z The tone of the message was Not salts
factory to the general, and he wired at
once in reply: Report as ordered, or give
reasons"
Within an hour the following message
came over the wires from a hospital II
Sioux City: Train .off-can't ride; legs
oT-can't walk. Will not report unless you
insist
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1905-11-17

".Haud yer sob. man. the boy cried
p~assionatelys 'Ye've spo.lt me twice. an
do ye want to apoil mo a third ~tiyne?'"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-26
Terrapin in No Haste

Thomas S. stadden, a prominent
resident of Wadesville, Clarke county,
was in this city recently, says a Win
chester (Va.) special to the New York
Herald, and brought with him terra
pin which has a remarkable history
Just thirty years ago. in 1874. Mr..
Stadden came across the terrapin on
his farm and on the bottom of its she'll
inscribed the date. Every time since
then that he has seen the terrapin he
has cut the date on the shall and the
entries are as follows: In 1874. 1875,
1879, 1880, 1881, 1882 and 1884.
On the latter date Mr.. Stadden car
ried the terrapin to a spot near Ste
two and one'half miles from
home, and turned it loose. Mr. Stad-
den has always held to the theory that
terrapin and turtles will try to wander
back to the spot Of their birth, and to
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-26
Officers Best in World

Many things combine to make the
American officer the best in the world,
writes Thomas F. Millard in Scriby,
ner's. In the first place, there is a
large and intelligent population to
draw upon, an advantage, it is univer-
sally admitted, not equally enjoyed by
any other great nation. Again, owing
to the smallness of our army, the num-
ber of officers to be supplied, in pro-
portion to the total population, makes
possible care in selection and edu-
cation impracticable elsewhere. Con
sider how a great majority of officers
in the United States army are OBJ
tanned. Appointments to West Point
are secured, as a rule, only after
competitive examination, in which
number of young men of good ability
and character take part The man
thus selected goes to West Point,
where he must pass a rigid physical
examination before he is admitted.
Then, owing to the exatcing nature
of the curriculum and the severity Of
the discipline. a large percentage of
the candidates fail to complete the
four years course. Those who do com
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-26

plete it and obtain commissions must
have attained a standard which other
nations find 1t impossible, for yari-
ETY. of reasons, to exact. That, even
under cur system, we have incompe-
tent officers simply proves that per
fcction has by no means been reached,
and does not alter the fact that our
army is better oficered than any in
the world
But take Russia, with her vast
standing army of a million and a quar-
ter men, exclusive Of supplementary
reserve organizations Of even greater
magnitude. country where the
masses Of the people have almost no
educational advantages, where the
level of intelligence is undoubtedly
lower tlan in asy other great nation,
and how is she to supply her army
with competent officers. in our accep-
tation of the word? She simply can.
not The United States government
would find 1t equally impossible with
all our undisputed advantages. to
equip an army of a million men with
officers Of the standard Of those who
now command our little army.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-26
Japanese and the Mul c

tremely hard skulled negro who never
war@d better weapon tnan his head
in any sort Of conflict with man or
beast
"One day he fell out with the mule.
Ordinarily they get along well enough
together But in some way the mule
en- the day in question made the ne
gro mad and the fight began. In the
first place the negro broke his water
jug over the mules head. This did
not feaze the animal Grabbing the
mule by the ears and taking a good,
firm grip, the black man landed with
yigor between the mules ears, using
his head as a weapon. The blow was
a knockout blow all right. but the
trouble was 1t knocked the negro out
also. Both mule and negro fell to the
ground as If dead. In a short while
both we're up again and after that
they were fairly good friends. The
Japs are right They will need spe-
cial training on the mule proposition
and no mistake, and the negro Is
about the best man they can get to
do the training New Orleans Times
Democrat.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-26

so the Japanese rice growers are
not willing to tackle that interesting
native institution, the American
mule, without the aid OF home folk, I"
said an observant man, "and can
see where they are right about the
matter. The American mule is long
cared, quick heeled, supple Tinted
mystery, and no man, no matter how
wise he may be, can do anything with
i'm unless he have special training
AS matter Of fact, the white man in
America is sadly deficient when it
comes to a working knowledge Of the
mule. Up to the present writing the
American negro is the only living per
son who can claim anything like mas
terry when it comes to the mule Some
how there is something in the nature
of the black man and the mule which
makes it easier for them to get along.
Just what 1t is | do not know. But
even the black man will have his ups
and downs now and then with the
mule, and | have seen some very in
teresting instances Of this kind, one of
the most amusing being that of an ex-
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-26

station close heside the treacherous
reef. and with their little torch fiaring
brightly over the gray ridges Of leaping
water, moored their tiny lighthouse as
securely as possible, and waiting. gazed
not at the burning stars above, but Ear
over the sea to the flickering CLEAN
where the unknown ship hung out her
signal lamp, or back to the cliff where
Eleanor tended faithfully the rosy bon
fire.
Eleanor was lonely and intensely ag-
itated. but no thrill Of fear mingled
with her sensations. Vigilantly and
steadily she kept the blaze bright
throughout the night, now straining her
ear to catch a fancied halo, now turn
ing sadly in the direction of that new
made grave. whose cold, unconscious
occupant could hear never more the
glad huzza of rescue for which he hoped
SO long.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-26
Difference ExactIy Defined.

He was the head of a Harlem house
hold, but his better half usually did
the family marketing. One morning
recently he was sent around the cor
ner to get some eggs for breakfast
The grocer's clerk danced attendance
and was asked, Have you any eggs p
Certainly was the clerks re.
sponse, as he pointed to convenient
crates of the coveted breakfast food.
One crate was labeled Fresh eggs"
and the other Strictly fresh eggs. "
The customer was man more skill
ed in the exactitude of literary express
sion than the discriminating terms of
the market man.
81 fail to understand" said he, how
eggs that are fresh can be less than
strictly fresh What's the differ
"Ten cents Dozen" was the quick
York Tribune.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-26
ITO Be coxrrxusD.r
HOW 1T STARTED.
Another Case of How Those Girls DO
Love One Another.,

Another Case of How Those Girls DC
Love One Another"
Pinkey-How lovely! l see you have
one of those splendid new Nonesuch
bikes.
Ethel-Yes, isn't Il a dear? What
make do YOU ride?
Pinkey-Oh, I ride Scorchem.
Ethel-They're magnificent.
Pinkey-Yes. so light and durable.
Ethel-How much does your wheel
weigh?
Pinkey-Twenty-two pounds.
Ethel-Twenty-two pounds? Why,
.nien only weighs twenty-one.
Pinkey- But then yours, you know.
is not so durable.
Ethel-The Nonesuch not durable?
Why, that is admitted by everyone.
Noncsuch! A friend of mine
bought one and it went to pieces in a
month.
Ethel-I don't believe it.
Pinkey - What? You don't believe
me?
Ethel-No, I don't One Nonesuch
will outlast a dozen scorehems. They're
the worst looking rattle traps l ever
laid eyes on.
Pinkey duriously)-You're a horrid
contemplate thing, and | hope you'r
never speak to me againl
Ethel (complacently)-Don't worry
] wouldn't compromise myself bv
speaking to anyone who rode a Scorch-
EN-.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-26

test the theory the terrapin was taken
to Stephenson.
That was twenty years ago and dur
ing the two decades Mr.. Stadden new
er saw his pet-in fact, he had forgot
ten all about it until one day recently
he came across a terrapin. Turning
the terrapin over, he was amazed to
find that it was his long-lost pet.
There were the dates, the initials
placed there from time to time, grown
larger with the terrapin, but as dis
tinct almost as the day they were cut.
In order to get back to its usual
feeding place under the mulberry
tree the terrapin had to cross several
streams. traverse wooded bluffs,
treacherous ravines and cross fields.
Twenty years had been required to
make the journey Of two and one.half
miles. but, guided by instinct. the lit
tie terrapin had at last reached home.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1905-01-26
Sign Of Coming Deaf n

A large influx of the alalauwa, the
famous red fish about which the Ha-
waiian superstition has it that their
appearance denotes the death CT a
member Of the royal family or some
one occupying high place. is now
causing much speculation among the
Hawaiians on the waterfront.
The schools Of alalanwa FIRST made
their appearance just a. seek ago. On
Saturday, Sunday and Monday night
fairly large schools of these fish ap-
peared- On Monday night they came
in an amazingly large number. On
Tuesday night there were fewer OF
them. and since then their number
mas been gradually diminishing. II is
expected that it will cease altogether
either tonight or tomorrow night.
The fish generally appear at about