davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
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Too Common.

Il am surprised, Fanny, that bonnie
young lassie like you should. choose to
marry man with only one leg" OBJ
served north-country lady to her pretty
housemaid.
Fanny equal to the occasion) -Wel,
ma'am, you see I'm very particular
about such matters; and two-legged men
are much too common for me.-Tit-
Bits.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
An Economic Arrangement.

christmas Genes but once a year, -
said the CHEEKY citizen.
mo use of it's coming twice year, y
said the morose person. Must give a
man a chance to save little money be-
fore he can spend it.''-Wash ington
Star.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
Saw Through It.

Subbs-The cook going to quit next
Saturday? Great Caesar! Perhaps if
you were to drop hint that we intended
giving her nice present at Christmas
she might reconsider.
Mrs. Subbs (dejectedly)-I did, dear,
and that'swhy she gave notice. She said
she didn't care 10 work any longer for
such seheming folk.-The Waitress
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
who is that shabby looking man

who is that shabby looking man
over there?"
He is the president of the bank"
And who is that well-dressed
looking gentleman with him.
That's his Office boy"
"But why"
That's just it. The Office boy depos-
its his earnings in the clothing store.
The president keeps his in the bank. -
n. Y. Sun.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
Next Best.

but you promised to take me to the
football game to-day"
Il know it; but the game has been
postponed"
'And I just had my heart set on go
ing"
'Well-suppose we get out to the alb
batoirs, they're quite interesting. p
Houston Post.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
A Modified Appreciation.

do you place any reliance on the
weather predictions?"
YES" answered Farmer Corntossel.
81 allus give em credit fer one thing.
The weather mentioned is always pro-
duced sooner or later, although the dates
aren't always strictly accurate. Wash
ington Star.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
Caught on the Rebound

He-Are you aware that l am some
thing of a mind reader?
She-No. Do you mean to say that
you can read my thoughts?
He-Sure.
She-Oh, George, this is so student
Chicago News.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
Are You Going to Florida or New
Orleans (?

Tickets on sale via Queen & Crescent
Route and Southern Railway to Florida.
New Orleans and other points south at
greatly reduced rates, good returning May
3lst, 1905.
Also variable route tickets good going to
points in Florida and Cuba via Atlanta, and
returning via Asheville For rates and
other information address
w. A. Becker, n p A, ll3 Adams Street,
Chicago, Ill.
D. P. Brown. N. E. P A., Il Fort Street, w,
Detroit, Mich.
w. w. Dunnavant. T. P. A., Warren, Ohio.
w. c. Rinearson, G. P. A, Cincinnati. Ohio.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
Position.

On turning the corner the scrublady
who worked in the Office of a rendering
establishment encountered another
serublady-
She held her head high in the air and
passed her without recognition
That woman scrubs in a glue fac
tory" she said to herself. Chicago
Tribune.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
An Ample Supply.

.t'And now said the promoter, after
explaining his scheme, I'm willing to
let you in on the ground floor"
Not any for me, thank YOU replied
the wise guy. MY wife has enough of
those basement bargains at home 20
last us for SO years. Chicago News.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
Why It Was

Police Inspector didn't you re-
port at IL o'clock, as tod you 10? It
is after II now!
Detective-Fact is. sir, | didn t'know
the time. One OF those pickpickets
was shadowing stole my watchi--
Smiths Weekly.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
Woman,s Moods.

ndicatiye.-When she picks out the
hat.
Subjective (fast becoming obsolete).-
When she wonders if she can afford it.
Imperative. When she mentions the
matter 20 her husband
Iufinitive. When her husband asks
# there is no end to her extravaganza
Puck
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
A Rough Route.

Stranger in Detroit don't see why
they charge three cents on one street car
line and five cents on the other
Old Resident-The three-cent line
throws off two cents for wear and tear
on the assengers.-Detroit Free Press.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
Friendly Suggestion.

Windig-I don't know what we are
going to do with our youngest boy.
Joblots-What,s the trouble?
He's getting so we can't believe a
word he says"
Why don't you get him a job in the
prediction department of the govern
ment weather bureau" Chicago Daily
News
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
Popcorn PUDDING.

Three pints of milk, two eggs. three
pints of popped corn leach kernel must
be white and not scorched in the least),
very little salt; serve with sweet
cream; bake one-half hour-C Chicago
Post.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
sunken Station.

The pumping station and coal shed a.
Galien. on the Burlington railroad, a
short distance east of Sterling, o., which
began to disappear into the earth re-
Gently. is entirely out of sight now, with
the exception of the top piece of stove
pipe. which is still visible in the large
circular hole in which the buildings dis,
appeared
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
His Disquieting Suspicion.

do you enjoy your wife's teas and
receptions?"
NO." answered Mr.. Cumrox; ito be
candid, do not can't help harboring a
suspicion that if didn't happen to be
her husband Mrs. Cumrox would not con-
slider me of sufficient social consequence
to be invited. Washington Star.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
Worry over Small Things

People worry over such mean things,
and eat out their hearts and destroy
their chances of happiness over micro
scopic grievances which are not worth
a moments serious consideration
Madame.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
Fruit Cookies

One cupful butter, two cupfuls brown
sugar, three eggs, three tablespoonfuls
hot water, one small teaspoonful soda.
one cupful chopped fruit (currants or
raisins); all kinds of spice; mix SOFT do
not roll very thin, and bake in mod
crate oyen.-People's Home Journal.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
Only Had TWO.

Tommy Mummy, my boots hurtee
me-
Mother-No wonder, dear; you've got
them on the wrong feet.
Tommy-What are me to do den?
Dey's all the feet I've dot.-Ally Sloper.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
TWO old stand-B ys.

see that somebody is again writing
magazine articles in which he endeav-
oFs 10 prove that Bacon wrote the
works Of Shakespeare.
fyes they come back to it with un-
failing regularity. Pretty soon some
magazine will begin publishing new
Tife of Napoleon. Chicago Record
Herald.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
The Real Herr

It's easy enough to be pleasant
When you're getting good wages and
praise,
But hurrah for the lad
Who keeps on being glad
While looking in vain for a raise.
Chicago Record-Herald
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
Really Dangerous Duel.

The Observation-Disclosures opera bouffe
French duel had more dangerous fea-
lures than is common in such affairs.
Both principals arrived on the scene in
automobiles Brooklyn Times.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
DATENTC 4s-page book FREE,
BIrZGERALD CO.. Box X. Washington. d. G.
Dyspepsia Was Thriving.

Now and then Marshall P Wilder Wiz
have touch of Indigestion; but the trou~
BILE in nowise dsmpens his spirits.
One day when the humorist was suffer
ing in a mild degree a friend, meeting him
for the second time in the afternoon,
asked:
well, Marshall, how's the dyspepsia
now?"
VERY nicely, thank you" was the re-
ply; but | am not SO well myself. Sum
day Magazine.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
A Human Prnnensitu

Nothing seems to tickle a homeless
cur like chance to lick the everlasting
stufflng out of a curled and scented
poodle in a sllver-plated harness.
cagO Post.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03

Office Boy-There are two men out
there. sir. who want to see ySl; one OF
them is a poet and the other deaf man
Editcr-WelI. 60 out and tat poet
that the 1eaf man is tks sts.0r.-Tit.
Bits.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
Creased Hats Next.

Now that coats and overcoats have to
be creased as well as trousers, the Lon
don News says that collars and tall
hats will be creased next.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
how's the dyspepsia
just as with Fer Father.

''Your daughters music is improving. :"
said the professor, but when abe runs
the scales l have to watch her pretty
closely"
Just like her father" said Mrs. Nu-
ritch. He made his money IL the gro
Gerry business. Philadelphia Public
Ledger.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
Slim.

read a Christmas magazine,
1t was the thickest ever sine;
The lads" were there
I DO declare,
But not much reading in betwine.
Chicago Chronicle.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
Fine PoIiteness.

Newrich-How'd you get along at the
dinner2
pie with a fork, l done it, too, so as not
to let 'em see their break-N Y Sun.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
Most sanguinarv Battle.

The most sanguinary of modern bat
ties was probably that of the Moskewa
in 1912, when of the 13O. 900 French &c, 600
were lost, and of the 100000 Russians CO.,
900.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03

There's nothing so foolish in this
world as one-halt Of a telephone con
srssSicn."
ssseept the ether halt Sunday
Nszazine.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03

Like our experience with other pretty
girls, we sometimes find that when we
think Fortune is smiling on US, she real
ly has her eye on the tall man behind
us-Puck.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03

A Michigan editor has had a streak of
bad luck. He was just about to step into
his new $4,000 automobile the other
night when three bed rails gave way and
ne awoke-Auto Era.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
Did He Drink TIP

A policeman who has been on the
force of London for six years has been
sent to prison for stealing milk from
dOOrsteps.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03

A man thinks it awfully stupid for q
woman to lose her pocketbook. but he for
gets how often she has to help him find
his collar button, and remembers for HIM
just where he put his hat-Baltimore
American
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
How It Works.

With some new wealth SO disagrees,
When raised toe soon to higher stations.
They strive to prune their family trees
BY cutting off their poor relations.
Brooklyn Life
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
Sure to Follow.

making your guests at ease IN cOnVeTsa-
tion?"
No answered the hostess. Il al
ways invite pianist Of reputation. AS
soon as the music starts the converse
ton is ssre to follow. Washington
Star
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03

When man in his pajamas bumps his
shin on rocking char it is surprising
what weak, washy thing his vocabulary
seems to HMM. Y. Press.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03

| am sure Piso's Cure for Consumption
saved my life three years ago.-Mrs. Thos
Robbins. Norwich, N. Y, Feb. IL, 1900.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03

ut always seemed to me 1t must be
an ideal life, that of bachelor with all
his freedom
Quite right, madam! But OCCASION
ally one longs for being who will kiss
away the care from his brow-and keep
his laundry work in order. "--Simplicis-
sinus
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
Live Up to Them.

It's no use Dragging of your ances-
tors unless they should feel like return
ing the cOmpliment.-Chi Tribune.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
To Cure a Cold in One DAY

Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund the money if it fails to cure.
E. w. Groves signature is on each box. 25c.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
Rocks VS.. Sand.

Edyth-Im surprised to hear of your
engagement to old Bullyon. Was he
the only man with sand enough to pro-
pose?
Mayme-Oh, no; but he was the only
one with rocks enough to interest me.
Chicago News.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03

Did you ever read He Fell in Love
with His Wife?'
mo, and l amt goin' to read no such
fool ithing. either Houston Post.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03

Chicago is to have daily paper for
women, about women, by women. Look
out for scoops-also toques, Gainesbor-
oughs and Indianapolis News.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03
Hxpnotism for Drink.

Moscow asylum authorities are ex-
perimenting on a hypnotic cure for al
coholism.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1905-01-03

The etiquette of horsewhipping has been
fixed. When woman attacks, xur.-Des
Sloines News.
Oakes Republican., 1905-01-13
COLD FATAL TO MANY
FIFTY PERSONS PERISH DURING
RECENT SEVERE WEATHER
IN GERMANY.

Berlin, Jan. 9.-More than fifty per-
sons were frozen to death in the prov
inces of East Prussia, West Prussia
and Posen during the recent cold
period, including two letter carriers,
the driver of post wagon, police
man and fifteen fishermen.
Nothing has been heard of the light.
ship stationed off Borkum reef, Han
over, which broke away from her an
chorage Friday night during a terrific
storm and went adrift. The govern
ment has sent out a steamer to search
for the missing vessel.
Geneva, Jan. 9.-It is said that
twenty-four persons lost their lives in
the mountains during the recent bliz-
zard, fourteen of the casualties being
on the st. Bernard pass.
Oakes Republican., 1905-01-13
General Nogi reports that the Off.
GERS paroled to date number AL and
orderlies. 229.
TWENTY JAPANESE KILLED.
Russian Contact Mines Explode At Port
Arthur.

London. Jan. 1.-THE correspond
ont at Port Arthur of the Daily Mail
says that on Jan. 8 twenty Japanese
were killed by the explosion of a con-
tact mine inside one of the forts, and
that two mines in the town also ex-
nl0dad
Oakes Republican., 1905-01-13
AMATEURIsH TO A DEGREE.
Attempt to Blow Up Statue Of Fred
erick the Great.

ertck the Great.
Washington, Jan. 11.-Somewhat Of
. sensation was caused in this city
Tuesday by the discovery of what ap-
peared to be definite and serious at
tempt to blow up or deface the statue
of Frederick the Great given to the
United, States by Emperor William of
Germany and erected in the arsenal
grounds near the army war college on
the Potomac river water front in the
southern part of the city. 1t was be-
lieved at first that crank had made
serious effort at destruction of the
statue, but after careful investiga-
tion the police officials say the ma
terial used was incapable of produc-
ing damaging results. All the evil
dence secured so far, the police an
nounce, tend to show that the attempt
ed effort to injure the statue was
puny and amatureish u degree. It
Is regarded as an attempt to work up
sensation. A hole in the soft mud
about six inches deep by six inches
wide and twelve inches long, shatter-
ed window panes in nearby builoin
and five or six splotches of yellow clay
on as many granite steps summed up
the damage done by the bomb. which
had been placed on high picket fence
surrounding the statue. An analysis
and examination of the bomb shows
the substance used had not sufficient
strength to wreck the fence.
Oakes Republican., 1905-01-13
PREPARING FOR WAR
TURKEY AND BULGARIA GETTING
READY FOR TROUBLE IN
THE SPRING.

London, Jan. 10.-The active prep
arations already reported to have been
made both in Turkey and Bulgaria for
q possible war this year are fully con-
hrned by private letter received in
London from a minister accredited to
the Bal,-an courts. This minister, who
has just completed a tour of the Bal
kan capitals, writes that the Turkish
and bulgarian governments are ener-
geti< ally preparing for eventualities.
Large shipments of arms and ammuni-
tion have been made and recruits from
Asia Minor are arriving at Salonica
weekly for service in the Turkish
ARM. The >Dul -arian and Greek bands
in Ma e'onia are increasing daily and
are fighting each other and the Turks
This = - one'ed guerrilla warfare
TIL me the bloodiest
Pix g.
u. es the minister,
"whethr o; there will be real war
between ey and Bulgaria in the
sn,ing y prophet enough to say.
Ul4.. as c. Il lowers think the time
is oIpo, t,.1.e war may be postponed
this yeai as last, but in any event we
are year nearer the inevitable con-
dict."
Oakes Republican., 1905-01-13
As PRISONERS OF WAR.
Three Russian Generals and an Ad.
mirai Will Go to Japan.


mirai Will Go to Japan.
Headquarters japanese Army at
Port Arthur, via Fusan, Jan. 9.-Lieu-
tenant Generals Fock, Smirnoff and
Gordbatowsky and Rear Admiral Wi
rem have decided to 60 to Japan as
prisoners Of war. General Smirnoft
was in command Of the forts at Port
Arthur and General Fock command
Cd the Fourth division of the army
there. General Fock says he will
drill his men in Japan.
Fifty per cent Of the Russian officers
will 90 to Japan and share with their
men the fate Of prisoners of war.
There are five Russian admirals at
Port Arthur, one Of whom will go to
japan. Among the admirals is q
prince.
Twelve foreign naval attaches have
visited Port Arthur and inspected the
remains of the Russian fleet.
The transfer of prisoners at Port
Arthur was completed at 4:3O p. m.
Saturday. The total number of ofi-
oorS transferred was 878. men 23.491.
Oakes Republican., 1905-01-13
FOUR MEN INSTANTLY KILLED.

Two Others Injured in Mine Accident
in Michigan.
Houghton, Mich, Jan. 11.-Four men
were instantly killed and two others
injured Tuesday at q shaft which is
being sunk at Rockland, by the Victo-
ria Mining company, for hydraulic
power. The dead are William Pen
rose, two Austrians and one Finland.
Or, names unknown.
The accident was due to the break.
ing of cable while six men were
coming to the surface in skip at the
noon hour.
Oakes Republican., 1905-01-13
LOUISE MICHEL DEAD.
Famous French Communist Passes
Away at MarseiIies.

Paris, Jan. 1O.-Louise Michel, aged
seventy-five, promineneas communist
and revolutionary agitator for the last
thirty-five years, is dead in Marseilles.
Louise Michel first came into prom
inence during the Franco-Prussian
war, when she joined an ambulance
corps and took part in the defense of
Paris, later siding with the commune
and advocating the burning of Paris
to prevent the entry of the Versailles
troops.
Oakes Republican., 1905-01-13
RETURN TO EUROPE
ADMIRAL RoJEsTvENskY's YES.
GELS RECALLED FROM
MADAGASCAR.

st. Petersburg, Jan. 6.-Although
orders to that effect have not yet been
sent to Admiral Rojestvensky the AS
sociated Press is able to announce
positively that the decision has been
reached that the Russian second Pa
cific squadron, now at Madagascar en-
route to the Far East, will return to
European waters.
Oakes Republican., 1905-01-13
EXTRA UNDERWEAR SPECIALS

will not be prosecuted for the alleged
taking of funds belonging to his en-
ployer, Millionaire E. N. Breitung of
this city.
A final settlement was effected Tues
day by the relatives of Wallace with
Mr.. Breitung and the county.
Oakes Republican., 1905-01-13
SHOT FROM AMBUSH.
Prominent Indiana Politician Fatally
Wounded,

Marion, Ind, Jan. 1O.-Wilson Add
ington,. a prominent politician and
we'll known horseman, was shot while
he was seated in his office and he is
believed to be dying from a gaping
wound in his abdomen. Addington was
Ihatting with. friends when man ap-
saared at the window, hastily glanced
inside to seek out his victim and then
deliberately fired through the glass.
Oakes Republican., 1905-01-13
AFFAIRS in BAD SHAPE.
President Orders Removal CT Officials
Of Oregon Land Office.

OF oregon Land Oflce.
Washington, Jan. 9.-As the result
of the investigation and prosecution of
the land frauds cases in Oregon the
president has signed an order suspend
ing from Office James H. Booth and
Joseph T. Bridges, respectively reg
lister and receiver of the United States
land Office at Roseburg, Ore.
The action is on the recommends
tion of Secretary Hitchcock and was
based on telegram from Assistant
United States District Attorney Heney,
who alleged that the affairs of the
Roseburg office were in bad condition.
Oakes Republican., 1905-01-13
Three Killed and Several Others hur,
in Canada.

Winnipeg, Man., Jan. 11.-In a fierce
fight between Films and Italians con-
structing the 500 line extension thirty
miles west of Sudbury three were
killed and several injured.
The men were employed by Moore
& Northrup and the quarrel was of
long standing, eliminating in the use
of knives and revolvers
Oakes Republican., 1905-01-13
SETTLEMENT EFFECTED.

Millionaire ereitune Will Not Prose.
cute James Wallace.
Marquette, Mich, Jan. Thames
Wallace. who after Q long search was
finally captured in London. England.
Oakes Republican., 1905-01-13
OFFICER AND ONE MAN KILLED
AND SIX OFFICERS AND PRl.
YATES WOUNDED.
Engaaement With Natives on the lei.
and Of JoIo Results in Capture and
Destruction Of Fort and the Death
Of the Rebel Leader-Friendly over
lures Of Americans Rejected and
Force Became Imperative.

Manila, Jan. 11.-In an engagement
which took place on Jan. 8 with refrac-
tory Moros on the island of Jolo Lieu
tenant James ]. Jewell and one pri-
vate Of the Fourteenth United States
cavalry were killed and Second Lieu
tenant Roy w. Ashbrook of the Sew
enteenth United States infantry, Cap.
tain Halstead Dorey of the Fourth
United States infantry. Second Lieu
tenant r. G. Richardson of the Four
tesnth United States cavalry and three
privates were wounded.
The action was an incident in con-
nection with the capture of fort held
by the Moro outlaws, which Major
Scott, governor of the island, had at
tempted to secure by peaceful means
several months ago.
Recently while attempting to secure
recruits on the island the kindly means
taken by Major Scott were mistaken
by the surrounding Moros and, trouble
brewing, necessitated forcible action.
The Moro leader has been killed and
the fort has been destroyed. The
American troops were assisted by the
gunboat Quiros. in command of Lieu
tenant Walker.
Lieutenant Jewell was born in Illi-
nots in September, 1871, and during
the Spanish war served as private in
Troop N of the First Illinois cavalry.