The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1905-03-02

o. securing his contribution toward plac-
ms fence about the cemetery After the
committee has talked about tho advisa-
bility Of the fence and vas almost cock
surc they had struck the responsive cord
iu Russells make up, he leaned back $50
the story goes) and spoke. 80 you want
To build fence around the graveyard,
CHI"
Yep" responded tho rural committee.
IN n chorus
well is there anybody in there who
can get out?" asked Mr. Sage.
No; guess not replied the commit
tee
We'll. is there any one In tho village
who wants particularly to get in the
giaNeyard?' again asked Mr.. Sage.
NO; guess not again replied the
committee.
Vel" says MI Sage. Under those
conditions ] don't see what YOU want a
force Around il fort"
Did you ever happen 10 SIT next TO the
man or woman in the theatre who always
knew just what was coming next: who
kreN all the songs and would endeavor TO
magnify your pleasure by foretellng the
joke the comedian was 10 spring or ac-
company him I'm one Of his songs? Wen,
they beat the once-upon-a time theatre
hat-nuisance 60 death. II these kind OF
people will persist I'm going to the theatre
the" ought 10 be spotted and gagged Let
them in Of course. but gag them. Allow
them to use their ears but close their
mouths.
one Of these individuals sat nnar-a
friend OF mine I'm a local theatre the other
day. My friend is not naturally easily
rufTled but on this occasion his vein Of
sarcasm was brought ont in way that
raised him i'm my estimation.
on his right sat one ~ those fellows I've
just been telling you about A performer
came on tho stage and began 10 sing a
song. The young man on the right began
q hum quietly at first but growing loud
or and louder. My friend stood II for a
while and then turned to the fellow and
remarked: "By Gee ! wish that fellow on
tho stage would quit singing
The follow turned and asked: why,
dent you like the song?"
"Oh. yes. ! like It, responded my friend
"but-Id rather hear you'll can hear him
any old time!'
The growlcr endeaveored TO board a
Reservoir and Butler avenue car the 9TH
or day. There were three or four ahead OF
him and something stopped their en-
trance. when the Grawler did setinside he
at once saw what had caused the block
There was a baby carriage i'm the centre
OF the islA and I'm the carriage was n
taby-iolly looking little fellow, too. Most
OF the passengers took the matter good
naturedly. one gruff individual I'm the
corner. however who had n sour ball I'm
his digestive organ that would not dis
solve remarked 20 the man next 10 him,
Hump, the idea OF their allowing n baby
carriage I'm n car. It's tho limit After n
while II YOU are down town with your
horse and buggy and don't feel like driv-
ing home. Just put them aboard a Reser-
yoir and Butler avenue car"
what a lot OF people YOU meet every
day who tell YOU OF tho signs OF
spring" The cat Is romping around the
house (sign OF spring.; tho baby won't so
tn sleep at her usual time (slgn OF
srtirr): the floor creakes (sgn OF
~ ringl: etc. etc. all signs OF spring. The
fact is though there are only two individ.
uals who really know when spring ls
coming one IL the small boy and the 9TH
cr b. the Italian hcrdygirdy man. When
the youngster digs down In the remotcst
crtncr of his box and gets out his
"crockerles" and CLASSICS and comes
out on tho street with a "shoot-you frst.
Bill?" aud when our Dago friend stops
I'm front OF your door and his instrument
begins TO wall out. "After the Rail l.
over" or "Blushen. Ny Rlnebell"-then
you win actually know spring - near
TEDDY SAWYER