davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31
GLIDING DoWN sTREAM.

Gentty gliding down the stream,
Youth and maiden fair:
Life. is but rosy dream,
Joy beyond compare
Lover with his sun Drowned arms
Guides the frail canoe;
Maiden with her sun-kissed charms
Smiles upon the crew
He's the crew from mate On down,
Shes the captain bold;
ne Tears to see her wear q frown,
He fears to hear her scoId.
And SO he guides the fran canoe
Where r she wills to go;
she smiles upon her gallant crew,
He loves his captain so.
Canoeing is not unlike life,
AS down the stream we float;
Man takes his orders from his wife,
He gently guides the boat.
she watches him and gives him cheer
lis she that keeps him true;
She is captain, without fear
And he the gallant crew
Detroit Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR.
[ From the New York Press.1


A dangerous thing about an heiress
losing all her money IS that all her
good looks go with it.
A nice thing about having a bald
head is you don't have TO worry about
when your hair turns gray.
One of the aueeres- things about
loving a girl is the way she believes
you when she says she doesn't
When a woman tells you that they
don't sit on the floor TO put on their
stockings, what makes them think yoll
think 500
There is never any lee7 to lie to
your wife if you can only get her into
frame of mind where she will not
believe anything you say.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31
GOOD STORY SPOILED.

It will be recalled that early last
spring story of heroism was sent out
from Los Angeles to the effect that Rep
resentative Victor Murdoch had rescued
two women from drowning at the risk
of his life. Politicians who wanted ia
vors embellished the story. spread it,
stretched it, and proclaimed it. Then
they took steps to get Mr. Murdoch a
Carnegie medal. Now comes Mrs. Nell
lie Horton one of the women, who says:
Mr.. Murdoc' helped us out of the wa
ter by holding out his cane. He did not
even get wet However, it should be
dock that he never at any time claimed
that he saved the women, and that he
promptly lodged when he saw the lau-
rel wreath descending Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31
His curious sneedometer.

whats this string tied to the back
of your car?'' asked Smithsen's guest
as he climbed into his hosts automo-
bile.
ssDon,t touch it, if you hope to keep
away from Judge Chambers court
ROOM" said Smithson. ''That's my
speedometer.''
You don't mean to tell me that you
can tell how fast you are going by a
piece of string tied to the back of the
machine ?'' scoffed the guest
st mean that others can't tell who
it is that is going SO much faster than
the law allows" said the automobiles
IF you follow up that string you will
find that it is tied to my register num-
Der. When want to hit up the speed
I shake the tin number plate loose and
it trails out flat behind the machine
No one can read the number While we
are speeding, and it falls back into
place again when e slow down. LOS
Angeles Express
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31
Barbarisr,, ira Children.

Bishop Potter of New York recently
told the following story illustrating
how the barbaric instincts persevere in
holding their place in the human heart,
even though unencouraged:
ga professor in an eminent American
university thought it wise to bring up
his children without giving them any
religious nstruction and acquaintance
with the Bible until they should. reach
the age of understanding. One of these
children, boy. of course, went up to
the family garnet to anuse himself one
rainy. day. Out of the rookery there he
dug up an extremely dilapidated vol
ume and deyoured a portion of its con-
tents with the greatest possible interest
and relish.
latter a time he came running to
his mother bubb1ing over with delight
and exclaimed: "Oh, mummy, found
8 great book up in the attic. It's chock
full of fighting I read all about a fell
low called Moses that punched the
heads of the Malakites, and there's lots
more scrapping in it
:. What is the name of the book?' his
mother inquired
answered Bobby. Boston Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31
FIIsIoN IN NEW YORK.

Fusion administration in New York
has proved better than the Tammany
rule that precedes it and better than
the Tammany rule that follows it. The
Low administration in particular was
not only immeasurably superior to that
of Croker through Van Wyek and that
of Murphy through Mcclellan; it was
the best in the country, the best in its
larger aspects New York has ever
known. Is the mold of good govern
ment broken? Are we never to have
it reproduced2 May we not, with more
experience and the greater means of a
greater city, make it even better p
New York World
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31
Hero We Have the -Four Ages.

Here are mans four views of time !:
"You still have forty years to live
said the guardian spirit to the youth.
s'It is a long. long time" the youth
replied, land I will do a great deal
before it is past"
"You have thirty years yet to live, .
the guardian spirit said to the still
young man.
"Well, that is quite a WHILE" was
the reply. probably 1 cannot do all
I had intended, but I will make quite
a showing.
"You have twenty years to live the
spirit said to the middle-aged man.
"Only twenty! Well, I suppose L
will have to do the best I can in that
length of time"
For the last time the guardian
spirit appeared. "You yet have ten
years left he said to the rapidly
aging man.
The man sighed. "But ten years. -
he whispered in reply, ttand what can
one do in those few days!"
And when the end had come the
man Looked backward and moaned, Il
am leaving it nearly all undonet"
And SO life goes, although youth
will not believe it and only old age
fully realizes that it is so--San Fran
cisco Call.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

OF course it is only natural that Com
gresham Calderhead should take the
railroads side of the rate regulation
controversy. The Fifth district states
man has never yet failed to take the
corporation side of a question. His
training has been in that direction. 1t
is therefore not at all strange that he
should line up against any railroad reg
ulation by congress, even though Pres
ident Roosevelt is behind the regulation
movement
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

Congressman Calderhead is defend
ing the railroads. II is quite evident
that Mr.. Calderhead is getting ready to
graduate into the United States senate,
and he believes the railroads and not
the people are the chief factors in
electing a senator.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31
TRYING TO BREAK IN.

1t has been necessary to employ ex-
ira guards at the New Jersey penften-
tiary to keep women from flirting with
the convicts. It will be safe, however,
to continue to believe that the world
would soon go to the bad if there were
no women in it.-Chicago Record
Herald
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31
ONE MORE INJUNCTIoN.

An Iowa judge has issued an injunc-
ton restraining young man from
counting a girl. Some day some judge
will get mad and issue an injunction
restraining women from having any
but boy babies, and then there will be
an uprising, after which this injunc-
ton business viii be re-established on
new basis Chicago Record-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31
sLIcING OFF THE SURPLUS.

Half a dozen insurance companies
out west have concluded that they, too.
will probe the Equitable. When all
the probers get to work the Equitable
will have to quit everything else and
sit around and look pleasant until the
probers have presented their bills.
That will take d slice off the surplus.
Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

Now that he has been so successful
at Portsmouth, President Roosevelt
might see what he can do towards sus-
pending hostilities between those other
two great opposing forces, Governor
Cummins and Secretary Shaw of Iowa.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.
HOME NEWS wHILR AWAY.

sgbseEihers of fsae state journal
away during the summer may have
the paper mailed regularly each llav
- any address af the rate of thirty
cents month. Address changed as
often as desired. While cat OF town
me state Journal will be to gou like
daily letter from home.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31
BE PATIENT.

People are continuing to urge Tom
Lawson to bankrupt the system. They
should not be so unreasonable. Tom
cannot do such a thing with the tenn
sides he does not propose to completely
foil the villain until after the Christ
mas advertising has been done.-Iola
Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

statistician Holmes win now have his
ability at figuring tested. He will be in
yited to figure out, SO the jury can I'M
derstand it. how he didn't do it at all.
and how he wouldn't know a crop re-
port leak if he should meet it in the
road
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31
THEY HAVE AGREED.

President Roosevelt has never failed
to make good in an emergency, and it
would be discourteous in the Russians
and Japanese not to agree upon some
thing.-St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31
WHEN EXTREMES MEET.

Secretary Shaw is described as the
antithesis of President Roosevelt,
which means there may be merry
times before the next national Repub-
lican Pittsburg Dispatch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

It is reported that the officers in kan
sas City, Mo. have completely stopped
the sale of liquor on Sunday. but the
thirsty are still able to step oyer into
prohibition Kansas and get all they
wish TO drink
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31
KANSAS COANENT
A SLIP.

1t will be observed that Mr. Stubbs,
IN speaking of his absence from the
late Eudora, conference, where Thomas
I. Kelly made his maiden speech, re-
ferred to the occasion as the "horse-
thief" picnic, rather than the anti
horsethief' picnic. Possibly this was a
slip on the part of Mr.. Stubbs.-Wich-
tia Eagle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

Although Hoch of Chicago is still in
Jail, there are doubtless others who
would be willing to be the husbands of
widows with large wads of insurance
money for a brief space of time.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

Now that the president knows how it
feels to go down in a submarine boat,
he will probably want to take a trip in
an airship next.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31
THE FIRST ONE.

A crusade against the housef1y is ad-
vocated by Topeka physician; he evil
IDENTIFY is not married. else he would
know that womanlzind has always con-
Quoted a persistent and consistent cru
sade against this pest-Lawrence jour
nal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31
CAR FAMINE.

Famine in Spain, famine in the
United States! Only ours is an awful
and unassuaged hunger for freight
cars to carry the harvest-New York
Evening Mail.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31
WHAT IT WASN'T.

Mrs. Taggart tells the court that her
marriage was a love match-thus set
ting aside the belief that it was the re-
suit of losing a bet.-Ottawa Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

Both Iowa and Ohio have a surfeit
of presidential candidates, a condition
of affairs that is mighty tough on a
state.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

The country is again agitated by the
report that oysters carry typhoid
germs. How would it do to boil the
oysters?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

incidentally the Russian faith in tn
sacred iken won't be so severely strain
ed in the future.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

If those Indian Territory people who
think they want separate statehood can
not think of better name than
''seauoyah" for a new state, they better
stick to Oklahoma.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31
A COINCIDENCE.

1t would be just like Russia to call
attention to the fact that the Chinese
have inaugurated a boycott against
American goods just as Japan is pre-
pairing to compete with America for
the Chinese trade.-Dallas News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

and Mr.. Bryan give Theodore Roose-
welt the credit for bringing about peace
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31
THE WAY or CONTEXT.

Hazv and dim are the yesterdays
Fading forever from our gaze;
Hazy and dim the tomorrows stretch,
We know not what their hands may fetch,
Heirs of love and joy and woe,
Each battling with some secret foe,
Welcome peacefully then each to-day
And contentment will grace the way.
Elizabeth Manley in the Chicago Inter-
Ocean.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

One of the lawyers in the Taggart
case called another lawyer a liar. But
judging from the testimony there are
others.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

A volume on Facts and Figure.
ought to be a good companion to Fad,
and Fancies''
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

That Colorado man may have produe-
ed seedless apple. but the real need
is for a worthless one.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

The crop of crises at Portsmouth ap-
pears to be all harvested.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

The bakers in New York have been
striking. They evidently wanted more
dough.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

Let us hope that the dove of peace
will have time to hatch out a whole
brood.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31
The Ads the Best Reading.

Commodore Edward Durham
ROBBIE, who sailed on Perryss flag
ship in the historic American expedi-
ton to Japan fifty-two. years ago,
talked in New York The other day
about the Japanese
What impressed me most at that
Time" he said, was their incredible
bravery. There we We're, a strong
fleet, with modern equipment, and
when we approached their port they
sent their greatest battleship-a junk
to turn US back. They defied us,
and pointed to the line we must not
cross.
LAS remarkable as their bravery
was the brilliance of their minds
minds at once powerful and naive. A
great samurai got hold of an Amer
lean newspaper, and had it all trans
lated to him, every word, from cover
to cover. At the end he said to Perry:
I have read this newspaper with de-
light, especially the advertising sec
ton. Within that singularly narrow
space the author has contrived to col
lect the most valuable Information
the bargains offered by the various
merchants. the humble marriag es
which have taken place, the houses
for sale or to be let, many investments
and business opportunities, and, above
all, the most valuable and precious
medicines Los. Angeles Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31
A COMPOSITION.
ROM OTHER PENS
WHY SARATOGA WAS SHOCKED.

Saratoga was shocked when Booker
Washington appeared in one of the
fashionable hotels. 1t was a novelty to
find some one in the place who was
not connected with a gambling estab-
lishment or the race track gang
Washington Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31
A PECULIAR CONDITION.

Is 1t not peculiar state of affairs
which faces the Kansas state officials
regarding the matter of the acts of the
state treasurer? The governor has
brought an action against the bonding
company which went security for Tom
Kelly The charges say that Kelly de-
posted the money in the Devlin bank
contrary to law and committed other
acts, in violation thereof. still he Is not
prosecuted for them. If his acts were
illegal, why should he not be held re-
sponsible for them and removed from
his position? If the charges be true the
treasurer should be removed from his
Office at once. and if not the state cam
not recover the loss.-Salina Union.
YOU GUESS WHY.
1t won't do to count too much upon
a successful outcome of the suits
against the security companies which
carried State Treasurer Kelly's old
bond. C. C. Coleman Is conducting the
case.-LeaVenworth Times.
A COMPOSITION.
q A little Leavenworth girl was told,
at school, to write a composition on
The Human Body" This is the re-
suit: 1.-THE human body is composed
of three parts, the head, the chest and
the abdominable regions. The head
contains the eyes, nose, mouth and
ears, brains, if any The chest has the
heart, lungs and part of the liver. The
abdominable regions are devoted en-
tirely to the novels, of which they are
five, o u. and sometimes y and e."
-LeavenWOrth Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31
WatermeIons and Morality.

Our Sundays now show large de-
crease in the number of jags,' said Ser
geant Fitzhenry at police headquarters.
Have you thought of the reason for
only tumbled upon it the other day.
Look at the records for the past month
and see if what I tell you is not true
as to effect. Now as to the cause. 1t
is simple. I don't know whether the
ministers and the saloon men realize il
or not, but the watermelon as a moral
factor is equal to ten policemen.
How do I know? Simply by studying
causes and effects. We can see the eff
feet here of some cause which has de-
creased the number of Sunday jags.
There is just as much beer to be had,
just as much made. It's just as cold
and tastes just as good as ever. Men
like it as well now as they did in April
They have the same means of getting
it
but they don't drink as much. Why ?
Because they eat watermelons. There's
nothing SO cooling as a watermelon off
the ice. 1t slakes the thirst as well as
any thing else, and after eating a large,
juicy slice no man will have any desire
left for a cold, frothy stein, no matter
what his tastes may be. This is a fact.
THE watermelon is the only fruit |
know of which exerts positive moral
influence to such an extent that it will
show on the records of the police. de-
partment. Take the classes of people
who usually pay us a visit, and fine
too, if they get drunk. They can get a
good melon for ten cents and they
prefer that to beer. Hence we have
fewer jags, fewer visitors and collect
less money in fines. Put the watermel-
on down as a positive moral factor and
you will make no nlistake.-San An
tonic Express.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

The Washington Post publishes an
interview with ''the Hon. David w.
Mulvane," in which Mr.. Mulvane talks
about the great Kansas crops this year.
The Post continues, "Afr. Mulvane
has come east on purely personal busi-
ness. He says that this is an off year
politically in Kansas, and, outside of
speculation touching the election of
United States senator, there is not
ripple to indicate that the people are
thinking of political matters" It
seems therefore that the Hon. David
has not heard any of the discussion
concerning the state treasurer-or pos
sibly he doesn't consider that a ripple.
-@--@@-s-@@~
e. B. Jewett, who has just retired as
warden of the state penitentiary, has
made a remarkable success in that ca
pacity. Not only has he demonstrated
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

Barber am trying a new kind Of iHns
ported soap: don't you think the 0dor liz
excellent?
Custoner-FIne! The favor is good. toos
Milwaukee Sentinel.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

Gomez cried the mother of the pesvish
little bull pup, t'you can't mend matters
by whining, can your
Maybe not" smiled the little pup.
''Then,'' said his mother, IF not, whine
Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

Mother-Tm glad you're playing with
good little boys now.
Tommy-Yes m; they amt like the other
kind. I kin lick any one of desc kids liz
1 hiladelphia Ledger.
Kilson-Gaylerd's wife used to be aE-
fully stout, and now she is quite thin.
what caused the change, I werders
Marlow-Divoree. This isn't the same
wife.-Town and Country.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

did you enjoy yourself at the party,
Bessie?' asked her mamma.
Il never saw such stupid lot Of people,
mamma replied the little girl. III there
hadn't been looking glass IN the room,
wouldn't lave enjoyed myself at ALL
Yonkers Statesman.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

D'Auber-Is Sketehleigh much Of an art
list?
Smearitt-The illustrator? No, he copies
everything. Couldn't draw his salary
without using tracing paper,-CleEeiand
Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

what is that woman's club aiming at7''
II don't know
II wonder how can find out"
Just lie low and wait until you see
what it misses. '.Houaton Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

A maxim for the harber.-Think twice
and then shave the man before speaking
once.-Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

do you keep fresh hsh?' asked the la
dy customer.
Not If 1 can help it, replied the viii
lage butcher. Il always aim to sell them
right away.''-Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

DIR. HighprIee, do you take OF any
thing for cash?''
YES, madam, anything. What did you
wish taken off. your finger or your earT'
Town Topics
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

1t is always a noble thing to defend the
truth, but It really doesn't pay to excite
yourself by argument with people who
don't know the difference--Puck-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

Clerk-Let me show you our latest ma
chimes. We have an automobile now that
can climb any hill on earth.
ChauffeuF-That's nothing. The last ons
you sold me tried to climb a tree.-Chieago
News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-08-31

did you examine the house, sirf'' asked
the real estate agent.
keys.
right party.''
MY dear SIR. there couldn't be such >
that house -Philadeiphia ledger.