The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1905-07-11
CLARK WOOD.
Biographical Sketch of the Colonel and
His Climax Plug.

okotcn Oh tn0 OOiouch dhW
His Climax Plug.
'Tillacum, in the Baker City
Maverick, writes the following bio
graphical sketch of Col. Clark Wood,
editor of the Weston Leader:
Clark Wood, of the Weston Leader,
writes Maverick ia the following sad
dening strain: ~ read Maverick re-
ligiously every week and regard it
sincerely as the brightest and most
original publication in the Northwest.
Having lapsed into dullness and con-
tent myself, / appreciate the efforts
of others to relieve the prosaic journ-
alism common in Oregon"
Fudgel Fudge againl The idea of
CLARK Wood lapsing into dullness.
There isn't dull hair in his head, a
dull corpuscle in his great big, full
blooded heart. l knew Clark Wood
long, long ago, when we were both
young and husky bucks, running rath-
er wild down on the edge of the Una
tilla reservation. Clark was then
city editor. of the Pendleton E. O., and
/ slickear attached to the mechanic
al staff below stairs.
Clark, in every department of that
old sheet, was known for what he was
Ian unmitigated nuisance, because of
one thing-his prediction for bum
min chewin tobacco. He bummed
from everybody. He never seemed to
possess plug of his own. Men who
never chewed used to buy a hunk of
Climax now and then, just to prepare
for meeting with Clark, who all day
long carried pocket knife open in
his hand, as badge of his calling,
which was that of professional
tobacco panhandler.
He never asked audibly for chew
He would merely approach friend,
smile bland and expectant smile,
and gently flourish his pocket knife.
If no response forthcame, he would
execute more elaborate flourish.
This knife drill always ended with
Clark telling funny story and ambl-
ing off with cheek full of the weed,
and with tobacco spit squirting every
which way.
One day happened in to a grocery
store and old Martin Fineran, clerk
of blessed memory, refused me credit
for package of cigarettes. why
don't you pay cash, like Clark Wood, !"
growled Martin. He was just in
here and bought two dollars worth of
| chewin' tobacco"
Clark Wood buying plug tobaccol
Absurd A minute later I met Clark
on the street. He was in the act OF
approaching a friend. He was gently
fiourishing his knife. l saw plug
pass; minute later Clark was ambl-
ing off with the side Of his face puffed
out like boy blowing soap bubbles.
This touch" on top of cash pur-
chase of two plunks' worth of plug
| trailed Clark from Fineran 8 grocery
up back street to the county Jail.
interviewed the jailer. Yes; CLARK
had been there. Yes; he had entered
the cells. Yes; he had handed out
to the prisoners big lot Of chewing
tobacco.
Yes; CLARK Wood had come out ant
bummed chew from the sheriff
Yes; Clark was funny fellow. Yes
Clark Wood had always done thi
thing-every week he had handed ou
chewin' tobacco to the Jail inmates
| And none would ever have known o
Clark Woods $2-a-week charity If il
hadn't been for Martin Fineran's hare
heart in refusing me standoff.
| In later years Clark Wood "got |
newspaper of his own" Then hi
came to be quoted far and wide a
the Bunchgrass Humorist. Which
the same he was--and is. Dull? No
for a minuteI Not until he dies, an
even then he may bum st. Peter for
chew and raise laugh among tn
angels. For Clark is going to tina
| place, because and because.