The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-10-02
THINGS IN JERICHO.
Pap Perkins Tells About a Liars Re-
venge.

About ten years ago. when there
were more liars to the square foot IA
Jericho than in any other town in
America. one of the churches changed
its pastors. The new man saw a
chance for many improvements and
set about them. one day he came
down to the pOstoHce and took me
aside and asked:
Can you tell me why it is that
about twenty of the same men gather
here every weekday evening in the
year? In summer time they sit out
doors and white, and in winter they
sit inside and spit on the stove Why
IS it?"
do you pretend that you don't
know I asked.
Il do not know, and I am wonder
well, it is the Liars club. It meets
here every evening except Sunday, and
would meet then if the postoffice was
kept OPEN
DO you mean that they meet here
That's it. Some of the best liars
in America belong to the club, and
there isn't one of them who wouldn't
make his fortune in some other town.
Yes, there are twenty-five of the
sleekest, slickest liars in the business,
and you ought to come down some
evening and hear them. You'd find
out that old Ananias wasn't in it.
Let me understand this thing, -
says the good man. DO you mean
that these citizens of Jericho knowing
~ falsify?"
Certainly"
But for why?'
$50 as to be at the head of the class.
There's Uncle Hezekiah Davis He
was once chased by 8 rattlesnake.
There was only one snake when he
first told of it, but now he has got
the number up to thirteen and is still
gaining. There is Deacon Spooner.
He had a brother"
but you don't mean that Deacon
Spooner Ies?''
you may judge for yourself. He
had a brother who went west and was
chased by the Indians. After telling
the story three or four times a week
for ten years the deacon has got it
| that he was run for seven miles and
shot through the calf of the leg He
him pant and blow as he runs.
There's GOOdenough Taylor. His wife
was hooked by a COW several years
ago, but he has got it twisted around
that he was chased by a mad dog in
stead. It's enough to make you SILVER
/ to hear him tell about the vivid green
in that dogs eyes"
rs it pOssible!"
cant you come down tonight2'' I
asked. Josiah Flintheart is due to
tell his lie tonight. He always tells it
onF Tuesday night. His hired man
found a tramp in the barn years ago,
but Josiah makes out that it was he
who found two robbers under the bed
in the house and captured both Of
them. Our Liars club is going over
to Dobbs Ferry some day soon to hold
lying match with the liars of that
place."
The good man went away with a
stern look on his face. and it was not
/ long before the Liars heard from him.
IA
the club had got to be broken up
/ forthwith, and two evenings later Dea-
con Spooner announced the solemn
I fact from the pOstofhce steps. Aston
I ishment and CONSERVATION followed.
1t was i've minutes before any men,
] Der Of the club could get his breath.
Then Philetus DaybrOoksrose up and
said:
Gentlemen. the sacred constitution
tof these United States guarantees
every citizen the privilege of lying, and
/ propose to exercise il to the fullest
extent
He was followed by half dozen
others, but Deacon Spooner soon made
it plain to them that the club had re-
cefved its death blow. Most of the
members belonged to the church and
must obey or stand trial, and the 9TH
ers were too few in number to make
lying interesting. It was a hard thing
to give up after ten years, but it had
to be done, and after an hours talk
a motion swas made, seconded and car
ried that the Liars club be dissolved.
Two days later Ebenezer jackson
came back to town from visit to
Troy. He heard of the calamity at
once. and he stood UP on a barrel and
said:
I'm the name of Liberty I protest!
I have just returned frem Troy with
a new set of lies about Troy laundries.
and propose to get them off or per-
ish in the attempt. I respect ministers
of the gospel as much as the next
man, but they can't gag me. Let the
club meet as usual tonight and hear
my new stock of les
I But the club didn't. The ex-
members wouldn't even listen to Ebe-
nezer as individuals. The art of lying
/ seemed to have been knocked on the
head with a sledge-hammer and there
were those who said it would never
4 be revived again in Jericho.
I livery we'll" says Ebenezer, as he
saw how things We're going. Il have