The San Francisco call., 1905-01-15

~ n r. OWENS slowly drew a fat
vi green pod from the basket
beside him, split it down the
Il middle with his thumb and
sent the peas rattling into the
pan between his knees; then he took
his pipe from his mouth and yawned
broadly.
"slow job. this shellin' peas, amt
it7"
eyes" said I. 'I often wonder that
no one has invented way Of shelling
them by machinery"
Now it takes a good deal to disturb
Mr.. Owens serenity and peace of
mind, but my innocent remark caused
the phlegmatic gentleman to dash the
empty pod vindictively to the ground
and break out in splutter of wrath.
'Tnventionl' he snorted. Don't
ever say invention to me again.
wish every feller that ever invented
anything was hung"
I was much surprised and asked
him to explain. After some coaxing
Mr.. Owens complied with my wish,
and began:
. Yer never seed Maria's (my wife's)
Uncle Ephum, did yer? No? Well,
the old man was a queer un, tell yer.
Richer'n the steel trust, he was; had
thirty acres er 'op gardens and fish
wier and a quarter interest in a mack
erel boat and Lord knows what more.
besides a lot of cash in the bank. Ma
ria and her first cousin, Siddie, was
the only near relations he had after
his wife, Ant Olindy that was, died.
-: Well, Siddie and her old man and
Maria and me figgered considerable
on the old mans money and who was
agoin' ter get it when the old man
pegged out. Siddie and her tribe
wasn't on speakin' terms with me and
Maria, OWN to a leetle squabble we
had over dog he owned that bit my
brindle heifer and scarf her so she
run onto the railway track and got
made into hash by the UP train. There
was a lawsuit and one thing er an
other ter add ter the general good
feelin' besides.
So me and Maria we guessed that
none of the money was goin' to Siddie.
and Siddie said same thing about us.
Uncle Eph was kinder impartial. as
yer might say. One spell he'd be for
US and have his will fixed up so as we
could get everythin'. and next thing
yer know he would twist around and
leave it all to tother side of the fence.
Fust off he come and lived with us.
= and he was a trial and no mistake;
cross-grained and fussy and deef-
why he was so def that a cannon
might have gone off by his ear and all
he'd a said would be, What? Why
don't you speak louder?"
Men Maria put up with 1t as best
we could and never give him any back
answers and did our best to please
him, KNOWN quite well that the meek
inherit the earth.
But he overdone it. He was dreadful
fussy about his eatin', and one time he
took a notion for gooseberry pie.
Nothin' would do but he must have
gooseberry pie. So Maria she cooked
big one and he ct most the whole of
it and was awful sick, and swore we
tried to poison him. He had his will
changed, leaving everything to Siddie.
and went off and lived with her and
her old man for most year.
We was purity down in the mouth.
but everythin' comes to them who
waits, and bimeby he had row with
Siddie that beat the one he had with
us all to pices. Yer see, Siddie's old
man is an inventor. Up to that time
nothing he had invented was worth
a cent, but he kept at it just the same.
persistent as a hen that wants to set
Well, Uncle Eph took notions over
there, same as ne had done with us.
and it came about that he thought
the flies was pesterin' him at night
arter he'd gone ter bed. Seems as
twas October;sI guess the flies was
mainly imagination. but he said there