West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1905-12-07
NUMBER s.

b'""N opportunity
"Oh, see. Then if you ever
meet a mad dog you are going to
play the hero ?"
"rhere will be no playing. [
shall do a natural and perhaps
natural and perhaps a brave act,
and il the public insists on calling
me a hero l shall have to submit to
it ?"
"Well, what is it ?"
"On hearing that dreaded cry,
Mrs. Bowser-on hearing a cry that
has more than once appalled, the
stoutest heart shall come to
halt. locate the animal. If he
is coming my way shall get ready
for him. When he is within thirty
feet of me, frothing at the mouth
and ravening for my destruction, |
shall throw up my hand-so. That
will attract his attention in an in
slant. AS soon as he begins won
dering what he is up against will
fasten my eyes on his. He will stop
dead in his tracks. II he don't shy
off into the roadway and pass me
he will sit down and whine"
"rhat is, you think he will.
"That is, know he will. If he
sits down will slowly and gradually
approach him, never for the frac-
tion of second allowing my eyes
to wander from his AS / draw
nearer he will shiver and shake.
When | am within three feet of him
he will howl in lugubrious manner
and fully realize that his doom is
sealed. / will then take my cane
in both hauds, like n soldier charg-
ing bayonets, and with n mighty
iab | shall reach his brain by
piercing his eye, 1t will only re-
main for reporters to interview me
and for the Humane society to
forward its medal and a compli-
mentary letter"
"Mr. Bowser, if you were not my
husband"-
"Look cut, now No further
insults ?"
'If you heard any other man
talking that way you would call him
a concerted ass"
"What What What" he
shouted as he jumped up. "Mrs.
Bowser, | allow no living person,
man or woman, to talk to me in
that way. have told you what /
should do in certain emergency.
BY what right do you call me names
and dispute that would do it ?"
because nobody ever heard of
man going through all that perform
ance with mad dog. You might
hold mp forty hands and he would
not stop. You might look at him
with ten eyes, and it would do no
good. / should say the proper
thing for you to do would be crawl
under a wagon or climb tree.
Shan't we go over to Brady's and
get some ice cream ?"
"Brady's Ice cream he gasped
as he flushed red and white. "You
talk to me Of Brady's and ice cream
after insulting me fifty times over
by the seven bobtailed COWS that
gave milk 10 the children of Moses
Then his feelings overcame him,
and he descended the steps and
went out to the gate to wonder what
he should do. lie was standing
there in an undecided frame Of
mind when a big lubberly dog that
was srotIing along on the opposite
side Of the street espied the Bowser
cat on the lower step. lie was out
for game, and he spotted her. He
came rushing across the street, and
in his impetuous haste he struck
Mr.. Bowser's legs and brought him
down, and at the same instant a
hoodlum yelled "Mad dog !" The
cat went racing around the yard,
with the dog a good second, and
they had both jumped over Mr..
Bowser twice before he could get
up. When he did reach his feet he
made a rush for the house. taking
the steps two for one. Mrs. Bow
ser sat thdre, but he saw her not.
As soon as he could get inside he
shut and locked the door and got to
the second story.
The cat climbed tree, the dog
passed on and ten minutes later the
door was unlocked, and Mr.. Bowser
came down,
"l did not see you raise your
hand to attract his attention nor yet
look him in the cye,' remarked
Mrs. Bowser as dcmurely as she
could.
Mr. Bowscr did not reply lie
did not notice her. After a brief
look around for other mad dogs he
marched down the steps, out Of the
/ gate and mp The street lie wanted