davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-06-24
laps Float Captured crnIssr-n

Toxic June 24.-The tJapanese com.
mander at Port Arthur reports that the
Russian armored cruiser Bayan has been
successfully hoated.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-06-24
Baseball Scores,

San Francisco, Juno e34-.Ebs Angeles
.; San Francisco, 3; eleven innings.
Tacoma, Junc1srtSkIand, ,a2a gpi
coma, 4. ~Rb ae'NA NF@ aes
Portland, June 23.-Potland, 2; se.-
attic, 0. 9na3 s'0U1tatYgb8J
sIs.g.f sfrfI. 100 lfaI f..t...t
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-06-24

Governor Folk and Attorney General
Confer On Race Track Question.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-06-24

st. Louis, June 23.--If the express or
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-06-24

WILL ENFORCE MISSOURI 20 p'
ANTI-P0OL ROOM LAW
The Washington times., 1905-10-01

league agitators. II companies are
granted concessions they deal with the
municipalities alone, and the authorities
see that the conditions are exacting and
the leases limited The public law has
defined the province of local government,
and tie municipalities operate with COM
piete freedom within their limits which
are wide enough to enable them, among
other things, TO municipalities and man
age all services Of public utility and taks
excursions into restaurant keeping N
connection with public institutions and
other byways of social service.
The Prussian government rarely inter-
venes. and its influence Is always direct
ed to stimulate progress. not to restrain
civic activities The secretary OF a gas
company whose concession is about &c
/ expire informed me that he did not ex-
pect the town council would renew thu
lease. although he was prepared TO offer
half profits. because, he added, ''the au-
thorities in Berlin always support tie
policy of municipal ownership
The chief source OF municipal incoms
is ali the land and property tax ard
share OF the income tax
The Washington times., 1905-10-01
Two of a Kind.
~ r. n. HAMMER, s2s h Street
Northwest

Owing to severe spell of sickness L
lost my hearing at the age of fifteen
and became totally deaf Soon there
after entered the deaf and dumb school
in Knoxville. Tenn. where / learned
the printers trade. On graduating | OBJ
tanned job on daily paper published
there. / had not been at work long
when a iniodle-aged man was appointed
and assigned 10 a case at my side.
Pretty soon 1 glanced around and saw
that he was talking to me. / replied as
politely as possible: Il am totally deaf:
please write what ycu have to say"
Instead of doing so he began again TO
talk. This annoyed me: so / said DO
you understand me? Do you know 1
said l am totally deaf? Do you know
what that means? Write, writei ]
can't read your lips, CT go see the fore
man." His face turned red, he yelled al
me and i could see he was angry, and ].
also. grew angry ! yelled back: You
scrub-ncse, hedge-whiskered ratified
brain old donkey. have you no ,:ense
whatever? Write what you have to say
and stop yelling" Again he began 10
yell and act as II he were about 10
strike me Glancing around i saw every
one laughing. even the editor had come
into fine room ana was also shaking with
laughter. l thought at once they were
The Washington times., 1905-10-01
THE END-SEAT MAN.

He holds his place in spite of all.
While scrambiing wretehes DER his
crawl;
He has enlargement of the gall
This pestllential crftter
On him is wasted stony stare.
Imploring look or CLASSY glare.
For these what does this monster careI
The hosgish end-seat sitter:
At early morn or after dark.
If going home or TO the park.
It's all the same-there is the shSy&
The car moaopolizing-
Look out. You'd better have a care.
Tobacco juice he squirts in air.
He'll decorate your clothes for fair
HOW very appetizing.
When Charon rows him DER the Styx,
l wonder if this varmint kicks.
And still persists in his old tricks;
l wonder. yes. I wonder
II may be he'll refuse 10 bulge.
And needless be of nod or nudge,
But If he does / don't begrudge
His end seat there, by thunder,
-Baltimore SuA
The Washington times., 1905-10-01

" HOCGH ore were an ardent atiTf5-
vate of the cause OF woman
equal rights with man. one could
aot justly criticise Englishmen
adversely for exacting wifely subnais-
sion ard insisting upon a husband s
right 10 authority in the household. for
even the English woman sufragists
have put themselves on record as con-
servstive and opposed 10 change I'm the
established ideas of marital relation
ship. And. as the old proverb puts II.
mo injustice is done TO a consenting
person"
AS you possibly remember. when an
attempt was made at the international
Congress of Women. which was held
In Berlin a few years ago. to adopt
radical resolutions defying men. il was
al the wish Of the English delegates
that the declaration which had been
drawn up asserting that woman does
not owe obedience TO her husband, was
stricken out, and the word tyranny.
which appeared In the resolution, was
Changed 10 misuse of power
The English woman is very sane In
her ideas OF her marriage obligations.
Though she may desire her legal rights
in regard 70 property. she is content
with her role OF woman. and appreciates
the influence which she gains through
wifehood and through becoming the
mother OF sons
The Washington times., 1905-10-01

y Prussia towns enjoy a much great
er home rule in municipal matters
1 than English cities, writes the Ber-
lin correspondent OF the London
Chronicle. but owing to the system of
preferential voting which exists it is the
rule of the wealthy rate-payers-of the
minority over the majority.
1t is all the more creditable, then,
that the ruling class, combined with
highly trained bureaucracy, should car
ry municipal trading much farther than
has ever been contemplated in England.
The same class OF industrial leaders,
manufacturers. merchants and traders
who support municipal electricity. tram
ways, etc, in England spend much OF
their energy in opposing municipal
ownership and in agitating in favor of
company interests. While they are oc-
cupied at his anti-social work their
German competitors are busy taking
away part of their trade Municipal
trading IS welcomed as part of the poll
icy of efficiency and care for the masses
of people which is inseparably connect
ed with Gsrmany's commercial success
In Prussia q speak of Prussia. as the
municipal law varies in other German
states) every municipality is it's own
parliament. Within the limits of the
municipal code it exercises full Iegisla-
tive control The Prussian parliament
has nothing to DO with local legislation
When new developments are TO take
place-tramways constructed. street i'm
proyements carried out, new revenues
raised-the municipalities pass resolu-
tions and adopt the schemes; nothing
more is necessary.
The burSomasters, the town councils,
and the ministers were amazed and
amused when told that our town coun-
ellis have 10 go TO parliament for power
TO buy and extend tramways or for
other municipal undertakings. and To
fight their way through committees
where hostile interests attack them.
Similarly, of course. companies do not
promote bills There could be no power
hills in Prussia. no ind istrial fret1om
The Washington times., 1905-10-01

Uncle Sans money he is stationed be-
hind a stout wire screening. Like most
OF them he has wife who occasionally
comes down on pay day to save him
the trouble Of bringing it all home.
Recently she came down TO make the
fortnightly touch just as a crowd OF
sightseers was moving away from the
screen. Mr.. Gridley dutifully passed
out roll of bills. One of the women
In the party came back eagerly. "Oh.
please mister. I'd like to get some of
those, and she fairly beamed at Grid
ley. who didn't catch what she was
saying.
She repeated her request. and Mrs
GriSey caught on and answered fSr
him quite sweetly:
m afraid you came too late. I'm
his wife. and 1 don't think he has any
left"
The Washington times., 1905-10-01
A Case of Nerve.
BY !. NEwLIN MITCHELL, aaa Sew
euth Street Southeast

Jim travelled on his nerve. and gener-
ally Travelled ffrst-class. One day he went
into a restaurant and said TO the pro-
prietor. Can man get anything to
eat here for his money!" Sure. he
can." answered the proprietor.
So Jim ordered a good, square meal.
When he had finished he walked up to
the desk. helped himself to a tooth
pick. laid down a cent and started out.
Hold on there" shrieked the proprie-
tor. what's this cent for?'' For the
meal l ate" responded Jim, imperturb-
ably. Not on your life" replied the
proprietor, your check is fifty cents. :"
II can't help that" retorted Jim. II
asked you when / came in If / could
get a meal for my money, and you said
/ could. That's my money-all of tt
The proprietor saw the point and
realized that he had been done. How
ever, he thought he saw a way to turn
the experience to account, so he said,
"I'll give you two dollars If you'll go
to that Dutchman's joint across the
way, and put up the same game on
him
Sorry" said Jim. ''but It wouldn't
work. You see. after breakfast this
morning he gave me three. dollars TO
make this visit to you"
The Washington times., 1905-10-01
Conditions Of the Offer.


sunday Times who submit
people incidents
Il
" awards of
of
1t desirable
81 be given. =
Make point possible story Of
limit will a n ardng prizes
n one or two shee
andad
e eparately
will
Address SHORT STORY PAGE Washington Times.
Payment Of the
The fme
The Washington times., 1905-10-01

doned thelaw and was ordained a minis
ter Of the Presbyterian Church. Marshal
held a judgeship for a while, went to
the State Legislature, served one term
In Congress, made a gallant record as
soldier in the war with Mexico, and
lectured on historical and literary sub
jects when in the mood. He was one
of the greatest orators that ever faced
an American audience; but his life SEEM
ed guided by one fixed purpose and was
clouded by frequent and long intervals
indulgence In liquor.
Referring te his political failure, in a
lecture few years before his death. he
said: Henry Clay's genius and power
was so great that nobody could with
stand him. He drove Bob Breckenridge
to the ministry and me to the whisky
bottle, and If Breckenridge has follow
ed his calling half as well as I have
mine, his eternal salvation is assured"
The Washington times., 1905-10-01
Sense OF Nationality.

Sense of nationality is another power
full influence upon the happiness of
English marriages. Love of home is
deeply rooted in the English breast, and
this love OF home springs from a feel
ing of nationality. Love OF family IS
Part Of It, equally with love OF country
That national soul" for which Presi-
dent Roosevelt has pleaded with the
American people. in speaking of race
suicide. needs no advocate in England
for here tradition and custom have put
family relations upon a proper basis
No less is marriage protected in Eng
land by the prevailing prejudice against
divorce. Although Divorces are no long
er barred from the court OF ST. James.
and although the divorce laws OF Eng
land have become less stringent than OF
yore, yet the English people are thor
oughly opposed to what they regard as
disrespect toward a e-honored and
sacred obligation, which they consider
religious as well as social
The Washington times., 1905-10-01
Clay Downed Them Both.
Sy JOSEPH a. MUDD, Hyattsvine


If you ask an educated Kentuckian 10
rame two Of the greatest native-born
men Of his State. ne Will, without hesi-
tation, say Robert J. Breckenridge and
Thomas +. Marshall. Both were born in
1900 and were members OF distinguished
families which gave many eminent men
TO the country; both were fired in early
manhood with a boundless ambition and
sought TO acquire political fame through
the practice of law. and both met dis
appointment. because their paths were
overshadowed by the popularity of Hen
~ Clay who had come into their States
two years before they We're born, and
who held the destinies OF their party
IN his hand.
After eight years Breckenridge aban-
The Washington times., 1905-10-01
He Was Punished.
BY FRAME DEPxo, 4os Tenth Street
Northwest.

One day, while on Fifteenth street
Frank Bush, the Hebrew comedian, in
vited my friend. Bull Simmons, TO a
plate Of raw oysters at Chamberlin's.
Having finished eating. Bush proceed
ed to the cashiers desk to settle the
account. When he glanced at the check
he was astonished 10 see that it called
for $3.50 Indignant at such an exor-
bitant price. he promptly proceeded
to have words with the cashier. Things
were getting hot, when Simmons step
ped UP and prndently advised his friend
to let the matter drop.
Upon reaching the street, Bush turn
ed sharply upon his friend and demand
ed in a furious tone, IL he had ever
heard of such robbery. Did you ever
see such a swindle? The idea of taking
the advantage of two poor workingmen
and charging them s1.25 per plate for
oysters" said he. God in heaven will
surely punish that man. Simmons
turned with peculiar expression upon
his face, said quietly, Frank. God has
already punished him. I've six OF his
silver spoons in my pocket"
The Washington times., 1905-10-01
The Really Vital Question.
By HATTIE S. BUDLoNG, Is L street
northwest.

A little fellow OF FIVE years was so
anxious TO own a pair of rubber boots
that he had tried the patience of his
parents TO the limit by teasing for them
So his father thought he would tell the
little fellow n story about a boy who
came to grief with pair OF rubber boots,
and calling Johnny TO him. the father
spun out a long tale of woe-how the
boy waded in water, got his feet wet
and became sick. so he had to lie in bed,
take bad medicine and finally died.
Johnny had looked so concerned all the
way through that his parent really felt
he had struck the right vein and was
inwardly congratulating himself, when
Johnny opened his mouth for the first
time and eagerly asked. But. papa.
what became of the boots?"
The Washington times., 1905-10-01
A Contingent Fee.
BY KATHBYN~ LEE, 1915 Fourth
Street Northwest

Speaking of that law suit of which
you told us the other day. have a s~lry'
Of that kind which viii beat it," Said
the lawyer II had a case in a near
by parish in which a man was arrested
Tor stealing a cow He was held over
on preliminary hearing and he sent for
me. His letter ran something like this
Dere Sir-I am in Jale and the man
sayes l am likely to goe TO the pen.
dld not steele. the cove and l am per-
fectly innerceht. PIeese gete me out if
Y are the last act OF yure life. This is
not nice place. Pleese do get me out
think ] can pay YOU sum day. l did
not steele thes cows. Tell the Judge
that. and If you get me off free 1 am
willing 10 do all l can for you If you
co will give you the cove.
Yours truly,
BILL SMITH.
The Washington times., 1905-10-01
No Race Suicide in ENGLAND

view, the same ambitions and a mutual
understanding.
That agreement about life which
Stevenson defines as a sort Of talent for
matrimony, and considers as an fndis-
pensable factor i'm congeniality, results
and makes for domestic happiness And
certainly great credit is due to the wife
for. as the writer of ''Virginibus
Puerisque has pointed out. while both
husband and wife must be versed in the
niceteS OF the heart and born with a
faculty of willing compromise il they
are 20 dwell together happily for lone
years OF wedlock. still much devolyes
upon the woman. She must be talented
as a woman. and IL does not much mat
ter If she is not talented in anythine
else. She must know her meter de
femme and have fine touch for the
The Washington times., 1905-10-01
Deserved the Prize.
ny OLIVER BENNETT, z2S1z 3
Street Northwest.
awarded a prize of So

While the late ex-Congressman D. w.
Mills was passing through Douglas
park, Chicago, during Ills last cam
paign. in 1900. he saw a crowd of lazy
men lying On the grass in the shade
of large tree. Walking over to them.
he said: II will give this silver dollar
the latest man in the crowd Thev
all jumped up to get the dollar but one.
who still laid on the grass. Mr.. Mills
walked over to him and. throwing the
dollar On the grass beside HIM. said:
well, you are the LATEST man in the
crowd" At which the man slightly
rolled over. saying: Put it in my
pocket"
The Washington times., 1905-10-01

was corrupted to "Buttermilk.' Soon
afterwards the officer who had given
the word wished to return through the
lines, and. approaching the sentinel. was
ordered TO halt. and the word demand
ed He gave Potomac '.Nicht right;
you don't pass nit me dis way"
But this is the word. and 1 will
pass
NO, you STAN at the same time
placing bayonet at his breast in a way
that meant business
What is the word. then?''
"Buttermilk"
Well. then. 'Buttermilk'
Dat is right: now pass NIT yourself;
al about your pizness.''
The Washington times., 1905-10-01

done heahs so much about? You alrs
net gwine TO use it, is yo. honey?"
why. Dinah: let me tell you Miss
Grace answered; but before she could
get any further in her explanation
Dinah broke in. with a look of disgust,
saying:
Dem 'ciety people. dey makes me
sick. Use done used green tea and
black tea all my life. but pink tea-why.
good Law6. Miss Grace. it's 'nuf to pisen
DE- people. Well, all Use got to say
green tea is all I wants" :"
The Washington times., 1905-10-01
Found Things Quite Homelike
y HALE HUGHES, 1889 Fourth
Efreet Northwest.


tAwaried a prize OF SD
Mr. Fox. meeting his old friend, Mr..
Holmes. on the street one morning. and
While talking over old times. said.
Say, Holmes. do you remember old
Deacon Simms and his son. Abe2 He
was a good -for-nothing sort of fellow
and gave the old man a great deal OF
trouble The deacon got awful mad
at Abe one day and told him to leave
and never come back; told him 10 go
TO the real place; go down there and
never come back So Abe went away.
They never heard anything more from
him until one night last winter The
deacon had Invited all the preachers In
the surrounding country to his house
II was an awful cold night. and the
preachers and deacon were all sitting
around the stove. when they heard a
knock at the door. The deacon went
10 the door and there stood poor Abe,
cold and shivering The deacon said,
Where have you been?
Abe answered: Where you told me-
down there"
How did you find things2''
Just Ike they are here al home-so
many preachers there / couldn't get
TO the fire"
The Washington times., 1905-10-01
A Much Better Plan.
8y Mary z. Graney, 2323 Pennsylvania
Avenue NORTHWEST.

Two Irishmen were tramping around
the country, when they happened to see
this sign near a river:
Five dollars for the recovery of a
drowning man. and ten dollars for the
recovery of one drowned
Nike said to Pat: Faith. that's an
easy way to make money. have plan.
You jump IN and / will save you, and
then give you the half of the $.
Pat agreed. and jumped in. Now.
neither one could swim. After Pat had
jumped In Mike made no attempt to
rescue him. and Pat holloed: why
don't you save me-" and Nike replied:
Sink. you spalpeen, and 1 will give
you FIVE out of the ten"
The Washington times., 1905-10-01
Not in His Territory.
By z. C. sUyDAM, s13 II Street
Northeast.

Senator Clark, as the world knows. is
a large employer OF labor He is very
democratic in his manner. and is easily
reached by his men, to whom he listens
kindly. He was approached by one of
his men recently, who asked him for a
raise in salary. The Senator remarked
that he thought he was doing rather
well, and asked him if he had any good
reason for his request. The man said
he had recently been married.
oh" said the Senator. "as TO that
I'm sorry. but you see. my man we
are not responsible for accidents unless
they happen in the work.
The Washington times., 1905-10-01
Force Of Habit.
By ELIZABETH HARRISON, wash.
ington, d c.

"Ole Berl' lived in Alabama, he had
fine melon patch of his own which
he guarded carefully, knowing the fail
ing of his fellows regarding the lucious
fruit. still. he could not fully protect his
"gyarden' so he hit upon a plan.
Every night he would sit upon a stump
in the midst of his vines. with a gun.
giving notice ne would shoot any ma
rauder.
One night two Of his neighbors thought
they would investigate and found "Ole
Berf' asleep in the moonlight. gun be-
tween his knees. Getting the gun they
fired II off over his head, crying at the
same time. Get out OF my watermelon
The Washington times., 1905-10-01

one years received much-needed dis
cipline at her hands The old lady was
at her best on this festive occasion, and
at pause in the wedding breakfast her
young relative looked over at her with
a bcguiiing smile.
Tell us why thee never married. Aunt
Patience he said teasingiy. THAT is
soon told, William said the old Quak-
eress calmly. ct was because 1 was
nor as easily pleased as thy wife was"
The Washington times., 1905-10-01
Just Waiting.
BY CLAYTON G. BIRCH, sls d Street
Southwest

Hon. John Sharp Williams. while
down South on a visit, was riding along
road one day and saw an old darky
under tree asleep with the hoe across
his knees. He dismounted and woke
the old man up and asked him why he
was loafing.
Ihe old darky looked uD and replied.
solemnly. Boss. / ain't loafing, 1 am
Just waiting for the sun to go down
so / can stop work -
The Washington times., 1905-10-01
The Right Word.
BY GEORGE w. MELCHoIR, 1124 e
Street Northeast.

an the Union army of the West one of
the ofr1cers. a wag, too. in his way.
whose duty IL was 10 furnish the
guards with a password for the night.
gave the word Potomac" A German
on guard, not understanding distinctly
the difference between the BIS and P's.
understood it to be "Bottomic." and
this. on being transferred to another.
The Washington times., 1905-10-01
He Was Cleaned Out.
BY p. e. LUDWIG. 1918 C street
Northwest.
fAwarded a prize Of 50

He is q brother os that Captain Grid
ley who on a notable occasion was told
TO fire when he was ready, and he is
chief OF the redemption division of the
Treasury, where the. old paper money
is made ready for the pulp machine.
Like all of the people who handle
The Washington times., 1905-10-01
They Were Onto Him.
BY 6AHY e. GRANET, 2323 Pennsyl-
vania Avenue northwest.
awarded a prize Of 81

tA"drded a prize OF Sd
An lrishman dressed himself up in the
latest style and went into a swell res
taurant- He said to the waiter, Il want
the best drink we've got in the place.
And he got ii. with a check for q cents.
He thought that was too much, and
said. ''25 cents for such a wee bit of a
drink?''
why, yes" said the waiter; that's
what we always charge for a mixed
drink"
Faith. an how did you know i was
a Mick?" asked the Irishman-
The Washington times., 1905-10-01

with sand. The next day a notice was
posted reading thus:
Notice.: j bought six pounds of sugar
in this village; from IL l have taken
one pound Of sand. If the rascal will
send me six pounds of sugar I will not
expose him." The next day five six
pound packages OF sugar were left at
the gentleman's residence. there being
just five grocers in the village
The Washington times., 1905-10-01
Their Hard Lot.
BY L. D. cANF1ELp, Alexandra, va.

awarded a prize of SD
Mamma" said Ethel Maud. after
pondersome silence. IF 1 get married
when 1 grow up. will 1 have a husband
like papa?'
Yes. dear; / suppose you will
And. mamma, IL L don't get married
do 1 have to be an old maid like Aunt
Maria?"
Why. yes. my dear. 1 shouldn't Won
der IL you would
The little girl heaved L sigh.
Mamma, II doesn't seem to matter
much what We do; it's a pretty hard
world for US women anyhow
The Washington times., 1905-10-01

putting up low-down dirty job on me.
Snatching out my pencil l wrote: Il
cannot hear cannon six feet away; I
cannot hear thunder; am totally deaf"
The red faded from the old mans
cheeks, smile spread over his face,
he took the pencil and wrote: $50 am L.