The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1905-08-22

fifty years. but she still has romance
IN her soul. | arrived just as q one
| horned COW was thinking Of eating the
widow and her grass hammock rogeth-
er. | was dog tired and hungry. but
the cal. OF a damsei in distress was an
! elixir. I rushed in. grabbed that old
cow by he- one horn and Topped her
on her back and dragged her out. II
was what any dilapidated gentleman
would have done under the circum-
| stances. but the widow made much OF
il. She declared that I had saved her
life from being nunched alive and that
size must show her gratitude. and for !
week ner home was mine. She rugged
ne out in u suit Of clothes once worn
by the departed. and after | had had a
shave and a hair cut I had nothing to
DO but read poetry TO her and eat hot
biscuits and clover honey. She did o
take me for n knight. but for an actor.
and when ! partly confessed that | was
& leading man she stood ready TO put
up $1,000 to put an Uncle Toms Cab
II" on the road at once. She had adj
.lired actors since she was three years
old. when she had seen a busted one
footing it along the highway for New
York. and she had wanted TO be an act
rcs, since she reached the age of ten.
when she was taken to d theater and
saw Il sewing machine girl drink cold
lea for supper and hen marry a mil
lionaire two hours later.
The widow limited that she was not
yet too old to act and that l was ex-
pocted to hustle around. and / should
probably have found myself in a fix
but for an old widower who wanted
her and her farm and was jealous of
me. He hired a constable for S. to
look upon me as a suspicious person,
and one evening when l was smoking
a cigar at the gate | was seized, dump
ed into a wagon and driven ten miles,
dumped out and told to get a hump on
me.
Il shall be back there within a few
days. l know the widow is waiting
for me. When a widow of fifty gets
stage struck in addition to her natural
romance she's a gone coOn-that iS>
she's a gone widow; that is, again,
she'll wait 200 years before she'll give
up her plans. Yes, she'll be waiting.
She may even be swinging in her grass
hammock under the trees again, but 1
hardly expect the one horned cow to
be on the spot. My conduct to her
was so %unloveIy and her neck got such
a twist that she may have gone to
her grave ere this.
There will be a warm welcome and
a weeks time to cure my chafed heels
and blistered feet. I shall still be a
leading man, and I shall still assume
poses and quote Shakespeare, but I
shall convince the widow that the the
atrical trust has knocked our business
on the head and suggest that she get a
machine and go to evaporating apples
for market. I shall furnish some rea-
sOnabR excuse for moving on, but not
until after l have interviewed the old
widower who got me bounced. l shan't
hurt him, for he is an old man, but
when I get through playing ball with
him be will see ghosts every night for
the next year.
"And farther along the same road is
the red headed girl whose life I saved
one summer day Just as a garter snake
was within 100 feet of her At least
she said 5 saved Rer life and insisted
that I was a chevalier of the Order of
ST. Stephen. When . had drunk d gal
lon of fresh buttermilk T moved on,
but she has my promise to- be true IN
til I see her" again. And there are 9th
er romantic and sacred spots and other
people; who, take me for either a knight
or a tramp, and my annual tour will
not be without it's adventures at every
mile. To: some folks I shall be the son
Of a millionaire travelling about in dis
guise- to fni a wife to love me for my
self alone, to others only the son of a
gun wanting only cold ~victuals and
castOf clothes
"It is: ali i'm the days work, however,
and Pm not looking for average hu-
mainly to. be better or worse when the
snow begins to fly next November, and
l fold my e n and bring my tour to a
lnis." NJ QUAD.