The news & observer., 1905-11-05
Mirandy on How to Break
Off an Engagement.

| (From New York American Journal)
done met up wild Sis Dilsey jest
now as l was perusin' an meander-
in up de street" announced Mirandy
an she suttinly was in de low ground
of trouble an 'tribulation."
What's de matter?" | axes her.
De hand of de Lawd shorely is
laid heavy on me- Sis Mirandy, she
spons, as she fetches a groan. My
gal Sally Ann, has done run off and
got married to dat low-doWn, triflin',
no-count Jim Robinson
Huh saysI, kinder uncertain lax
Gaze dere amt no tellin which way
| folks is gWine to face around bout
Weddin'. l done seen mo- dan one
ma-in-law what wanted to throw hot
water on her daughters husband one
| day hangin' on his neck de next, SO l
stays on de fence ontell l sees which
way de cat is gwine to jump.
"' Yes, went on Sis Dilsey wipin'
her eyes 4 reckon hits a Judgment
sent on me, Sis Mirandy, for bein' too
proud sperrited an up-haided. How
somever, / done my. duty bout tryin'
to break off dat match, and keep Sally
Ann from tyin' a knot wild her tongue
dat she can't ontie wild her teeth
'Yassum, 1 argified wild dat gal
ontel 1 was ready to drop in my
! in a man what had to have de seat of
| his britches patched befo' he did de
| knees, an what was better acquaint-
| ed wild de crap game an de corner
saloon dan he was wild de saw handle.
'Furdermo' 1 told dat drunken
! loafer dat his room was worth mo
! dan his company at our house, an
when | found out dat Sally Ann was
a slippin' out of an evenin' to meet
him on de sly, l ups and locks her
in her room, an yit if you believe
me, after / done all dat to stop her,
de fust news l knows dat gal climb
out of de window and skedaddled wild
him
/ ~ done here tell you dat you lock-
ed Sally Ann up in her room says l.
| tryin to agg on de match an sic 'em
on cath other
"'How came you say dat?' axes
Sis Dilsey.
Gaze dey amt nuthin' lax put
tin a thing out of reach to make
! Ianybody set and determined on Eav
! t. spons I. an a dead corpse would
climb out of de window to run off
| wild de undertaken eff you locked it
in. When [ turns de key on a gal
account of a man hit will be to hurry
up de weddin, an to save buyin' her
weddin' clothes, an not to bust up de
! proceedin's.'
You can't talk any gumption into
gal dat's in love says Sis Dilsey.
! '''Nawm dat you can't says l, an
as fer me, / don't waste my breath
tryin to. All de same dere's plenty OF
ways of headn' gal off from maxim
| a fool marriage, and dere amt many
matches dat you can't break off eff
| you goes about hit wild enough ju-
| bousness.
But wild dat Sis Dnsey went on
her way amoanin' an groanin' an
| layin her troubles on de Lawd, which
| is a mighty easy way of gettin' out
, Of de mess dat you done brung on
yourself, an 1 didn't intercede wild
| her no furder, but | done give her de
! true word. Most of de bad matches
! is made by de foolshness of de par
! ents. Dey drives dere chillen to the
| alter instead of shooin' 'em away
from hit.
| "Yassum, | reckon gals is de curl,
ousest nation of people dat dere is iE
de world, an you got to treat dem ac-
cordin to dey curiousness. Day aint
no good in appealin' to a gals rea-
! son an Judgment, Gaze she amt got
none. Neider is dere any sense in
talkin to her bout principle, Gaze
when a gals in love de man is de
principle an hit don't make no differ
ence to her whether he is a hOsS thief
/ or a preacher. Yassum. l done seen
plenty OF gals dat thought it was real
romantic for a man to have done serv-
! ed a term in de penitentiary.
"An' you got to go mighty slow
about abusin' a man onless you want
to have to feed a son-in-law, Gaze
when IA gal gifts her dander up ana
gifts to fitin fer fellow dat she
thinks is a po, pusscated martyr
| ev'ybody's down on hits all over but
her sneakin' her Sunday clothes out of
de house an turnin' up de next morn
in wild husband for you to support.
Oats huccome dat when dat onery
Sim Johnsing begun to shine around
my May Jane dat | didn't spend no
time a layin down de law to dat gal.
NaW'm, l didn't say nuthin' to her
bout de fact that Sim was one of dem
/ folks dat was born tired an amt
never got rested enough to do an
honest days work yit, an dat ef she
married him she was des" as good to
I have to take in washin' and buy his
vittes and clothes as a nickle is fer a
ginger cake Nuther did I set up
nights a pintin out to her dat Sim
had a mighty hankerin' for red eye
liquor, an dat he done been in q
callaboose mo- dan once. Nor yit |
amt shet de do in his face, aid for
bid May Jane to soshiate wild him,
"Naw'm, dat l don't When Sim
come I make him mighty welcome,
an when he go I sat down in my
cheer an des shake my sides alaugh-
in.
"What dat you laughin' at So
ma axes May Jane, who l see is
mighty taken wild Sim.
"'Oh, l was des alaughin at what
funny bow-legs Sims got Eff he