Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-02-18
TALK ABOUT SMOKE

a typnoon stfuck big acrOSS-1fom-
a-park boarding house. fitted with real so
norous hotel NAME one morning last week
and big green seas are washing the decks
thereof yet Is ss,s q
1t was all on, account Of new boarder
The new boarder was-and is-the young
and exceedingly winsome and attractive
wife of government official whose duties
require him to spend most of his time away
from Washington.
The landlady of the boarding house knew
who the young nfatron was, all right, for
she brought her credentials along.
But some of the feminine guests of the
boarding house did not know anything
about the new boarder, the landlady be-
longing to the rare, unpumpable species OF
her sex and occupation
The young matron took the third floor
front. and occupied herself exclusively In
attending strictly to her own business
Being pretty and stylish, and guest In q
fashionable boarding house, 1T follows as a
matter of course that. from the beginning
she was suspected and disliked by a certain
coterie or the other guests of the estab-
lishment.
One morning last week Katie. the opaque
middle-aged Hfbernian woman who does
most of the chambermaid work OF the
boarding mouse, saw the stump of cigar
cite on the mantel in the new boarder's
room. +' 50
This was pleasing discovery for Rather
Inc. for she shared the general and wholly
unwarranted distrust Of the third fiure
'front.'
AS soon us Kate had made up the room
she pranced down to the second story back
and told the feminine occupant thereof OF
what she had seen in the new boarder S
room.
We'll, of all things!" exclaimed the sec
ond story back, and she made for the room
OF the second story front.
What do you Think" she exclaimed
rushing into the second story fronts room
THAT person in the third floor front Is sit
ting up in her room at this present blessed
minute, smoking cigarette after cigarette
and blowing the smoke out of her nose!'
The second story front assumed the prop
err attitude of horror, and the two women
made for the room of the second stoory
center.
Great heavens!' exclaimed the second
story front to the second story middle
who was peacefully removing the kids from
| her front hair, "can you imagine what Is
going on under this very roof? That per-
son up in the third floor Is sitting up In
her room, smoking big, long, black cigars!
Did you ever hear the like of that IN your
born days?'
OF course, the second story center had
never, never heard the like in ALI her born
days, and her face took on an expression
of extreme horror mingled with acidity.
She Immediately made for the apartment
of the first floor back, accompanied by the
other two women.
my dear" inquired the second story
middle of the first floor back, ARE you
aware that there is a creature In this house
at the present moment of time who is doing
nothing else in this wide world but smok-
ing a clay pipe filled with strong, black
tobacco-that third floor front, with all OF
her tailor-made dresses, and her baby-stare
of immaculateness!'
The first floor back almost keeled over
with the shock, but she bravely pulled her.
self together and confronted the friShtful
situation with a frm-set countenance.
I'VE must go at once to the landlady,
she said with an intonation such as Joan
of Arc might have used when she dl-
rected an attack upon the British. Such
dreadful things must not-can not-be In
this house. or in any other house, where
we-we,-are abiding. We must see the
landlady this very instant
Then they all made for the apartment OF
the landlady in a body ia. 30,
They found that. kindly old gentlewoman
contentedly crocheting in her room, all I'M
conscious of the terrific storm that was
about to swoop down upon her.
The second floor front, the second floor
back, the second floor middle and the first
floor back marched in. upon her with
gloomy faces.
Mrs Gettbye," began the first floor back
in a hollow voice. there is person in this
establishment who must be notified to leave
at once" s+-.-..ct 1890.
mercy on usr naturally exclaimed the
landIady. What Is the trouble?'
THE creature who occupies the third
floor front" solemnly replied the first foo,
back, sis shamelessly smoking an opium
pipe up In her room, brazenly and without
the slightest attempt at concealment, al
this very moment. She must go immedi-
ately, or we shall all leave before the sun
goes down this very day."
The landlady was the picture of pertIrba-
ton She put away her fancy work and
assembled to the third floor front. She
knocked on the door and heard a CHEEKY
Come in
She entered-and found the room filled
with smoke.
Il just came to see if the maid brought
you a fresh counterpane," said the kindly
old landIady to the new bearder. a9
$50 kind of you" murmured the new
boarder Ibid you ever have to smoke
these horrid things?"
mo" replied the landlady. "They are
cubebs, are they not?"
Eyes" replied the new boarder, showing
the box of cubebs to the landlady II per-
fectly detest them, but i recently developed
some sort of slight catarrhal affection, due
l suppose to the weather changing so fire.
| auently, and my physician has ordered me
| to smoke two of the wretched things every
morning. They make me perfectly misera-
| BILE and i'll, but l suppose / must obey his
orders" and the new boarder lit another
| cubeb from the end of the one she had just
| finished.
Poor dear" said the landlady and Their
she descended the stairs and told the wait.
| ing women of what she had discovered
| They appeared to be quite unconvinced
| however, and the house is still in state OF
sIumberng tumult of the chambermaid'
discovery of the cuheb stump.
Whosoever gets himself or herself sus-
| He'll 1,1rt "A tot, ~