davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08

A minister has given this well de-
fined exposition of the text, And hav-
ing done all, to stand" On some body
of water near his home there was one
day a race between two boats. The
captain of one saw that lie was get
ting behind, but he also saw that at
the particular point where they were
the current was stronger than tAe
wind and that the head boat. thoseb
apparently progressing. was really
drifting backward. Quickly taking In
the situation, this captain of the rear
boat cast anchor and won the race.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08
BEES IN WAR.
Two Instances In which the Insects
Were Used as Weapons.

Two Instances In which the Insects
Were Used as Weapons.
The beekeeper, holding n number of
bees In his hand, said as he led the
way through the apiary: Bees In the
past were used as weapons of war. In
the Siege OF Themiscrya, for instance.
they played very important part.
The Romans In this siege made mines
In the ground and the enemy, opening
the mines from above. threw In upon
the Romans bears and other wild an
finals, together with swarms of bees.
That caused the Romans to flee howl
Ing.
Here In my notebook is another ac-
count OF the use of bees In war. 1t Is
an extract from an Irish manuscript In
the Bibliotheque Royale at Brussels.
and II tells how the Danes and Nor
wegians attacked Chester and were
repulsed. thanks to the use of bees by
the Saxons and their allies In the town.
1.-THE Norwegians.' read the bee
keeper, sheltered by hurdles. tried to
| pierce the walls. Then what the Sax
ons and the Gaedhil did was to throw
down large rocks, by which they broke
down the hurdles over their heads.
What the others did to check this was
to place large posts under the hurdles
What the Saxons did next was TO put
all the beer and water of the town into
the caldrons OF the town, to boil them
and spill them down upon those who
were under the hurdles, so that their
skins were peeled Off. The remedy
which the Lochlans applied to this was
to place hides on the outside of the
hurdles. What the Saxons did next
was to throw down all the beehives In
the town upon the besiegers, which pre-
vented them from moving their hands
or legs from the number Of bees which
stung them. They afterward deserted
and left the city "-Chicago Chronicle.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08
The Era of Noise

What an age of noise this Is. Do
you know any single human being who
IL capable OF being silent for an hour
Mt stretchl | know two, and value
them according to their rarity Not
only does everybody talk. but almost
everybody talks loud. I went into a
shop the other day, and the clatter Of
conversation sounded as though the
place were full OF people. Yet all the
noise was produced by three individ-
uals. Why should they shout?-Lon-
don Truth.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08
HOMES OF THE SWISS.
Pretty and Distinct In Style, bu
Have a Lonely Appearance.

Pretty and Distinct In Style, but
Have a Lonely Appearance.
Swiss houses impress one almost in
variably with a sense of loneliness.
Probably this may be attributed to the
contrast they present to their surround
ings They are commonly dwarfed in
to insigniticance by the gigantic seen
cry in which they have been placed.
But near at hand they are decidedly
pretty. although their architectural
style is distinct from any other.
They are rarely painted and seldom
ornamental or embelllshed, save that
the boards and shingles are not infre-
quentiy cut and scalloped into odd
shapes. Sometimes the front of a
chalet bears the owners or builders
name In large letters, followed by
sentiment, Il beuedIction or II prayer.
These ehalets are provided with over
hanging roofs, on which fiat stones
have been laid to keep the fierce winds
from tearing them off and not be-
causc-as an animated tailor's sign,
with Il monocle, once informed an old
lady In my presence-the natives wish
ed to effect saving in nails.
Various fruits and vegetables are
hung under the projecting caves for
shelter, and the flrewood is piled high
without for future use The ground
floor is generally given up to stable,
where the cattle are housed In the win
ter. In delightful proximity to the fam
lily overhead.
The household treasures are contain
cd In the living room, or quite stube
Here. too, you will find the large porce-
lain stove that Is the center of the
family gatherings on the long winter
evenings. In the kitchen. of course.
the furniture is of the plainest descrip
ton. usually consisting of rude loom.
n huge fireplace. table and a few
chalrs.-Pilgrim.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08

Douglas, meeting Lincoln on one oc-
casion during the exciting campaign OF
1860, made II Enthusiastically unpleas-
mt remark. saying;
"Why, Abe, | remember you when
you were nothing but young clerk In
a little western town. peddling out
goods ut retail and selling liquor over
the counter"
Yes" answered Lincoln, the only
difference between you and me was
that | was on one side of the counter
and You were on the other"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08

"Will you keep my daughter in the
style to which she has been accustom-
edW
"No, sir; I'll keep her 10 style to
which she has not been accustomed"
"All right. my boy. Take her and be
happy. Now her mother and myself
will be able to put on little style to
which we have not been accustomed"
Houston Post.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08

Here is pen portrait of Robert Lou
is Stevenson, written by DR.. Alexander
II. Japp: Not so tall probably as he
seems at first sight from his extreme
thinness, but the pose and air could not
be otherwise described than as distin-
guished Head of fine type. carried well
on the shoulders, and. In walking. with
the impression Of being n little thrown
back; long brown hair. falling from I'M
der a broadish brimmed Spanish form
Of soft felt hat, Rembrandtesque; loose
kind Of Iverness cape when walking
and invarlable velvet jacket inside the
house"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08
A Demonstration.

Tommy and his little brother had
been playing together most peacefully
for some time when suddenly the baby
gave howl. followed by series OF
shricks. The mother rushed In and.
while soothing the crying child, sought
to find out what had hurt him. Tommy
resisted her cross examination for a
time. hnt finally admitted that he was
guilty
Nv hat did you do to him." she asked.
II stuck him with safety pin"
what IN the world did you do that
forY"
"Nurse said you couldn't hurt your
self with safety pin. and | wanted
to see II It was So"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08
4 Quick witted Waiter.

A western congressman says that
while he and certain friends were
studying the bill of fare In hotel Oh
the New Jersey coast mosquito
alighted on the card 1t instantly lost
its life by a quick blow from the man
holding the card, its little carcass re-
manning on the bill. With smile the
man pointed to the remains and said
TO the waiter:
ado you serve these on toast hereW
They're on the bill, sir" was the
witty retort of the waiter.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08
Artificial EInxxern.

II was In Italy that demand for ar
tlticial flowers first arose. This was due
primarily to a caprice Of fashion which
demanded that during festivals bios
SONS In and out Of their seasons should
be worn and also to the fact that their
color and freshness were stable. Later
on, In the middle ages. the artificial so
far superseded the natural that both
men and women decked their heads
with imitation flowers of cambria, pa
per, glass and metal. The best artificial
flowers are now made In Paris.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08
The Glasses In England.

In England the upper class CANDLES,
but does not drink; the middle class
drinks, but does not gamble, and the
lower class both drinks and CANDLES.
1t Is a characteristic circumstance that
the upper class makes laws to prevent
the lower class from gambling and that
the lower class Is In favor OF legisla-
ton to prevent the upper class from
drink ing
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08

A North Carolina lawyer was trying
case before jury, being counsel for
the prisoner man charged with max
ing mountain dew" The judge was
very hard on him, and the jury brought
In verdict of guilty. The lawyer
moved for new trial. The Judge de-
MED the motion and remarked. "The
court and the jury think the prisoner
knave and fool" After moments
silence the lawyer answered: 1.-THE
prisoner wishes me to say that he IL
perfectly satisfied. He has been. tried
by court and a jury of his peers"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08

ayes" said the conceited bore, "she
was quite frigld when ! called, but
she became more pleasant the longer
| stayed"
81 understand" replied Miss Pep
prey; "the longer you stayed the near
err approached the time of your de-
parture." Philadelphia Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08
A Deadly Retort.

Elizabeth confronted Mary Stuart
"My mind Is made up" she remark
ed. you die"
$50 do you" replied the captive
queen rs she ga2ed on the Titan
tresses.
Considering honors were even, the
beautiful Scot prepared for the end
New York Tribune
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08
500 Reward, 500


The readers of this paper will be pleased to
learn that there is at least one dreaded dis
ease that science has been able to cure in all
its stages, and that is catarrh. Halls Catarrh
Cure is the only positive cure now known to
the medical fraternity. Catarrh being a con-
stitutional disease, requires constitutional
treatment. Halls Catarrh Cure is taken in
ternally, acting directly upon the blood and
mucous surfaces OF the system, thereby de-
stroying the foundation of the disease, and
giving the patient strength by building up
the constitution and assisting nature in doing
its work. The proprietors have so much
faith in its curative powers that they offer
One Hundred Dollars for any case that it
fails TO cure Send for list of testimonials.
Address: f. j. CHENEY & co, TO edo, 6.
Sold by Druggists, re
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08

"What Is the chief product of the
United Statesf" asked the teacher in
European school.
And without hesitation the bright
pupil replied:
"Money. Washington Star.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08
The Gain From Others.

A man is strong in proportion TO the
quantity, the quality and the variety
Of forces which he absorbs from others.
He is power In proportion to the ex.
tent of his enthusiastically mentally
and morally-wfth his kind and weak
ling just in proportion as he cuts him
self off from others.-Success.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08

Junior Partner-I never suspected
him at all. Senior Partner-Neither did
I, although 1t did seem little singular
to me that he should be able to pay
$1,000 a year rent out of a salary OF
81, 500.-New York Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08

as your husband a criminal lawyer"
Mercy, no! But he has to associate
so much with those awful men he de-
tends that really I'm sometimes afraid
he soon will e"-Cleveland Leader.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08
hfnmmn,s Yisifn Few.

"Your mamma saw you yesterday.
didn't sheT asked the nurse.
YES" answered the little girl.
"What did she say"
"She said, why. how you've. grown,
childp detroit Tribune.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08
MONEY WANTED.

$1,000 81 300, 1880, 81 200, 5000 $500 all first
mortgages on city property and desirable in
yestments
Money to loau in large amounts on i'm
proved Real Estate.
Office open evenings to o'clock.
Lock Box 1874, o i. BLACKWELL.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08

LET me see, cynlc is man who is
tired of the world, Is he not2 the
young student OF language asked.
mo, no, my child" replied the know
ing tutor. "a cynle is a man Of whom
the world IL tired Pick Me-Up.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08

Gyer-Fltzem, the cIother is adver-
Using silk umbrella with each twenty
dollar overcoat he sells. Mrs. oyer
That's nothing. Bloom, the florist. IS
giving away the earth with each plant
he sells.--Chicago News
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08
The Horse Dealer,

what is the secret OF your successT
asked the young man.
"In buying" said the old horse deal
er, Il look sharp, and in selling l look
just as ignorant as | can."-Chicago
News
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08
A COhfIY Pnen.

my hat is perfect poem, isn't it,
John"
ut ought to be. l paid more for it
than Bryant got for 'rhanatopsis.' -
Houston Post.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08

"One-hal OF the worlds happiness Is
solved when n person learns to mind his
own business
yes, but It's the other half that
causes the most trouble
whats that"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08
Good preven,ive ANYWAY.

Doctor. isn't there anything can do
for this seasicknessY q
"Wby, yes. Try farming. Life.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08
Determination.

'Our Willie shows great determine
tion," said the boys mother.
"YesY queried the proud papa.
Eyes. He spent the whole day max
Ing soap bubbles and trying to pin one
TO the Philadelphia Ledger
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08

a prominent New York stockbroker
says: The newspapers do not get wind
of even Il small fraction of the suits
brought against brokers because Of mis-
understandings between us and our Gus
toners Ninety nine customers out Of
every hundred think we rob them when
they lose their money In the market
and give us no credit when they win.
We do our hardest to settle all suits
out OF court, for there Is not jury on
earth that VIII find verdict for a
stockbroker. Why? Simply because
every Juror has been scorched now and
then In the market and holds grudge
against all brokers. New York Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08

He is great who can do what he
wishes. He is wise who wishes to do
what he can lland.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08

Credulity is the mans weakness. but
the child's strength.-Lamb.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08
REAL ESTATE FOR SALE.

Two Large Manufacturing Plants with power.
Eleven-room House, corner jefferson and
Clinton streets.
Seven-room Heuse corner Deleyan and
George streets.
Seven-room House, on Delevan street, be-
tween George and Union streets.
Three seven-room Houses on Elm street.
Eight-room House, Buttonwood street
Eight-room House, Clinton street
Two new Houses, Delaware avenue. All i'm
Improvements
seven-room House, York street.
Seven-room houss, Lambert street.
Six-room House Union street, below Ferry,
arge Double Brick House. Coryell street.
Several desirable farms for sale near LAM
bertville containing from 70 TO $50 acres.
Three lots near Lambertville.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08
Q a - TT q II Z "A.
Bears the a Tho Kind You Have Always Bought
Signature of IN2Zzzm

Read the new adv. of Folkner d
Rittenhouse
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08

The miserablest day we live there Is
many better thing to do than die
DALEY
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08
Pnna,. Own I,Ien.

She Darling. we must elope He
But surely your father has no objec-
lions to She None whatever. He
suggested 1t. in fact. He says it Will
be cheaper. PHILADELPHIA Ledger
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08

No man will be found who does not
sometimes hope or fear beyond the linn
its Of sober probability. johnson.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1905-03-08
BLACKWELL'S
Agency
Successor to late Geo. NJ. Holcomde, dec'd),
SOLLIDAY BUILDING,
CORNER OF BRIDGE AND UNION STREETS,
IANRFRTyIIJF Il

Home, Sun, Phoenix Assurance, New Hamp-
shire, Liverpool and London and Globe,
Hartford, Standard, National, Fire Assoc
citation, Phenlx, Queen, North British and
Merchantie, Caledonan, Flremans Fund,
Spring Garden, Hanover, Phenix, New
ork Underwriters. Niagara. All safe hnd
reliable companies, licensed and approved
by the Commissioner of banking and In
surance of the state of New Jersey. Los
SEES paid promptly. Rates are reasonable.
You cannot afford to take the risk, when
some one else is willing to carry it at small
cost.
Are your buildings insured? Have you a poll
cy on your furniture? Do not wait until
after the fire
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1905-10-12
AeAINsT &c eoeLlo NrEREsT.
oVerzealous Reformers Work for Law
Against Proprietary Medicines.

O~Verzealous Reformers Work for Law
Against Proprietary Medicines.
schemes 20 diminish or destroy
the sale Of proprietary medicines are
constantly being devised by interested
parties. Every now aud then some
jealous reformer ONE to the front
with the demand for a Law 10 require
every package OF proprietary mcdr
cine 10 be labeled With a printed
statement OF the formula. showing
Just how Il Is manufactured. The mil
lions OF people who use proprietary
medicines seen 70 be satisfied. but
the man with a mania for regulating
the affairs OF other people or Who has
some personal interest 10 serve Is
the one who Bgitates the proposition
To a person who has never taken
time TO consider Il. such a pronosliion
may seem reasonable enough: yet Sc
is In fact nothing more nor less than
a scheme to compel the .ssalfactur
ers to put their trade throughout the
entire country az the mercy OF every
commercial pirate who might choose
TO food tha market with limitations OF
their goods
Under such conditions the incen
tive for the original manufacturer TO
advertise his goods would DO practi.
eally destroyed. for the money spent
on advertising would inure mainly 10
the benefit of she pirates and lmita
tors without advertising. tho public
would receive little Information IN
regard to the medicine. and an future
sales would be greatly impaired u
not wholly DESTROYED. Il o. mainly by
~judiclous advertising that the kpoel.
edge OF proprietary medicines IS
brought to the public Nothing Is
more certain than thar millions Of PEG
pie have found relief AZ a compare.
lively small expense hy the use ~
some remedy FIRST called TO their
notice through newspaper advertising
Why. then. should the manufacturer
~ a ]mcriiorlous proprietary remedy
be compelled By iaW 20 practically
destroy bis business as a condition %
being allowed 90 carg d on Yet
that Is exactly What these formula
bills mean Exchange
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1905-10-12

Habit said to be at Bottom Of ali a
Trouble.

Habit Said to be AZ Bottom Of III the
Trouble.
The so.cailed cravings OF appetite
are purely the result OF habit A hab-
Il once acquired and persislentiy fol-
lowed soon has us ia its grasp. and
then any deviation therefrom tempo
rarily disturbs our physiological equi-
librium The system makes COM
plant and we experience a craving
IL may be. for that TO which the body
has become accustomed. even though
this something be. in the long run.
distinctly injurious TO the welfare Of
the body. There has thus come about
a sentiment that the cravings Of the
appetite for food are to be fully sat
lsfied. that this Is merely obedience
to natures laws. This idea. however.
is fundamentally wrong. ANY one
with a little persistence can change
his or her habits OF life. change the
whole order OF cravings, thus demon
strating that the latter are purely ar.
~tilicial. and that they have no neces-
sary connection with the welfare or
needs % the body. In other woods.
dietic requirements are 10 b. founded
not upon so-callcd instinct and cray'
ing, but upon reason and intelligence
Russell H. ~Chittenden's Economy
IN Fooa" in The Century.
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1905-10-12
You Have No Right to Suffer
From Constipation. so~slans Stomach Trouble

@. what Is the beginning OF siekness1
A Constipation.
Q. what is Constipation
A. Failure OF the bowels 20 carry OF th,
waste matter which lies IN the aiimeHtary cana
where Ia decays aud poisons the entire system
Eventually the results arc death under the
nane OF some other disease. Note the DEATH
from syphold fever and appendicitis, stomach
and bowel trouble az the present time.
g What causes Constipation
a. Neglect 70 respond 70 the call Of natur,
work Mental emotion and improper diet
Q What are the results OF neglected Cousu
patton;
A. Constipation causes more suffering thar
any other disease. II causes rheumatism. colds
feyers. stomach, bowel, kidney, luug and hear
troubles. etc. II j. the sEstissease that START
al others Indigestion. dyspepsia, GiarrheA. lusi
Of sleep and strength are It's symptonls-piles
appendicitis and hstuia, are caused By Constipa
ton. It's consequences are knosn 70 AL ply
siciEns. bus feW sufferers realize their condition
until IL Is too late. Womeh become confirmed
invahds as = result Of Constipation.
Q. Do physicians recognize thisf
A. Yes The first question your doctor ask
you is are you co~nstipatedv That Is the secret
Q can1i be-euredf
A. Yes. with proper treatment The common
error l. % resort 70 physics such a. pills. salts
MAlAAINAA - AAHAN tAAH NLNNNAANMMH NNA H tNNNN
one o. ahichas Injurious They seakcn aul
Increase the malady. You know this BY you
own eEperience.
Q what then should be done 70 cure itf
A.. Geta bottle OF Mulrs Grape Tonic at once
Malls Grape uontc uGt positively cure Consti
patton and stomach Trouble ia the shortcs
! space ~ time Nnpthrr remedy has before bel
known % cure Constipation positively ana per
mabentiy.
= What is Muil's Grape Tonic'
A II sa COMPOUND with 20 per cent o. thI
Juice ~ ouncord brapes ft eNerts q pecuiial
StrenFttcuinr. healing influence upon The intcs
uneN ~ that thry ean DO their aork unaidcd
The pFocess a. gradual bat sure, ltis rot
phfeir, bus 70 cures D~unstpaucn, DJsruteFy
stomach and Bowel Trouble, HaVina q rich
fruity frape nayuf. 80 q pleasant 70 take A.
tpule it "a unoqualled. insurinE The aysten
aeAlnst diseases II strengthens and builds u
waste tissue.
. Where can muars Grape Touir Be had ?
A Yosr erusgist aells b. The dollar both
couuins nr1flT thrce times ne oocut sisc.
ossi ~ AiuHE ohnsSss .at EsraaE Hstssfs
Afrse batue 70 en- uho have never used
becsuse Ee hnos IL all cure you.
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1905-10-12
Scotch Thrift.

Sir John Car. saya Tit-Blts. was rath'
or fond OF telling the following story;
While in Glasgow he WA asked BY
The magistrates % give bis advise con
corning the Inscription 20 be placed
on the Nelson monument. then just
completed. sir John recommended az
a brief snd appropriate eplgraph "Glas.
gov 20 Nelson
Just so" said one OF the battles.
"and as the o ou o. Nelson's (Neils.
toni close az hand. might We no Just
say GLASGOW 90 Nelson. six miles.' and
so Il might serve as a monument and
milestone too"
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1905-10-12
wlIie coins Another Word.

Nov. Willie" said the teacher.
'you may give me a word that means
shreNd and wise"
"Judicious, remarked the kid.
Now. Willie. you may 80 to the
blackboard and write a sentence con
tanning The word properly used"
Willie wrote:
"A man lost his stock Of clothing
by fire and people said. "oh. well.
what can You expect when he was a
Jewdicious man