Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1905-09-21
ODDITIES OF ENGLISH
PUZZLES OF PRONUNCIATION THAT
ONE MEETS IN ENGLAND.

/ They Are SpeIIed-Weish Names a
Source of Unfniling Confusion.
English q 1t is spelled and pro-
nounced la the United Stdtes is GER
tainly confusing to a degree to any
foreigner, but in old England his lot
| Is still harder when it comes TO proper
names
If" said an English writer, the
tmiable foreigner is driven to the
verge of distraction by our vagaries In
pronouncIng words ending in 'ough. and
cannot for the life of him see why, If
cough spells kof.' though should not
be 'thof and 'sough' 'sof' what must
he think of our phonetic eccentricities
In the pronunciation Of place names.
which are such sore puzzle even to
ourselves?
"Why, for instance. In the name of
all that's reasonable, should we have
to say Amesbury when we write and
mean Almondesbury. and, when we
are In Lancashire, inquire the way to
Oost'n when 1t Is Ulverstone we want?
These are mysteries which are not
even revealed, one would think, unto
babes, and which certainly make the
upgrown man feel foolish.
IF you happen to be In Suffolk and
want TO find your way to Waldring-
field, near Ipswich, you must avoid at
any cost pronouncing the word as 1t
is written. You will be looked at as a
freak or a foreigner, but ask for Wun-
nerf'l and you will be sent on your
way rejoicing. One may be prepared
to find that Belvoir Is pronounced
Beaver. but who Is to know that AS
patria, In Cumberland, is only recog-
nized locally as SpethryP You may
ask the native the nearest way to AS
patria till you are black In the face
and he will stare blankly at you for
your pains, but breathe the word
spethry and you will get your direc-
ton quickly enough.
Little Urswick is a place unknown
to thousands of Lancashire folk who
are familiar enough with the village
Of that NAME but call it Lilosick, and
their faces will brighten at once with
intelligence. Pontefract is not unrec-
ognizable to the southerner even as
Pomfret, but why should Keighley be
known locally as Keethley and not as
Kelley. which is the obvious render
ing?
But the North county has no mo
nopoly of odd pronunciations. Go to
Devonshire and ask for Brithembot-
tom. The odds are you will be told
there Is no such place. Brimbottom
they know right well, and that Is the
place you really want. Thurlescombe
by a similar or worse perversion, be-
comes Drizzlecum, which may or may
not be tribute to the dampness of its
climate. There Is in Clouceshire a vii
lage called Churchdown. which for
some inexplicable reason Is always
spoken Of locally as Chosen. The good
people Of Churchdown appreciate the
joke as much as anybody and tell you
how. when the trains were asked to
stop there, some one said, Make they
Chosen people joyful
"Congresbury, In Somersetshire, is
known far and wide as Coomsbury.
and, shades Of our Norman ancestors!
Hurstmonceaux, In Sussex, has long
degenerated on the lips Of many to
Horsemounces. st. Osyth Is name
that ought not to present any lingual
difficulty, but Its favorite form In the
district seems to be Toosy, and, while
the educated man has long been recon
ciled to call Greenwich 'Grennidge.'
there are many who still persist land
they are right. though it sounds
strange to the ear) In pronouncing the
name as It il spelled.
">-ie:mCudiston. In Suffolk. has been
cut ,iuwn to the more convenient Chin
ston, and Saldiacre, small town In
Derbyshire, IL Senjiker to those who
know what they ought to say. Welsh
names are source Of unfailing con-
fusion to the Englishman, whose
tongue refuses point blank to grapple
with them. and yet some of them at
least have been made simple enough.
such as Rhudbaxton. In Pembroke
shire. which AS Ribson is simplicity It.
self. In Hertfordshire the formidable
has been reduced to
the handy compass OF Sapser. but |
what shall we say Of Woodmancote,
which to the good people OF Glouces-
tershire Is often known as Udden-
York Herald.