Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1905-12-29
STORIETTEs.

,,.s .o,,,. papers. While b,
Wa .ellins Of the progress 0, th,n :
Western. the reporter ,rta =. eulns'
him with an inquiry about tho .u
GUS city CONGREGATIONS ont W. w.. nam ne
poet Of the sierras instantly VS., rsr,, ing
Our fires are caused bv ~. ,epned:
OF rapid growth" Ao friction
AFTER the dentist had extractad .
small boys tooth. the vict,r '. 10,
for the tormentor. Certain. a'Aeo
little man. but why do you wan. :. ;.
aueried the dentist, handing II oua w.
wen: SIR. responded the rrat,se t'
boy, I'm going to take It bom a'ae.
I'm going to stun it full of sua aua
Then I'm going to put II IN . , n,ss
ana. with a triumphant grin, watch
Representative Adamson, Of Can,
gia, while going to Washington m.
day. noticed crowd around n. =.
pot at one Of the stations div, :. :.
North Carlonia, and poked bis Mo-
out OF the window, and asked - !
negro: Adam, what's the ms....
nere! Jim Johnson's dead. sab.
vas the answer. Somebody shoo,
him?" mo. sab; nobody done NTH.
IN to him; he lis died al :.
unanimously" ou''
Adam Smith, the economist fan :,
love and proposed The ono. ra.
refused. Next day the ladv mo,
Smith in Princes Street, Edinbureh
and reopened the question Of h Sa'
proposal. "You remember what :
said?" the lady inquired and tho
philosopher replied that he did
We'll" added the lady, IT vas onlv
Joking" "You remember what !
asked?" said Smith. eyes," replied
the lady. WELL" said Smith. II
was only Joking, too"
A man wishing admittance to heay.
en-, knocked at the celestial nort
st. Peter responded and demanded
credentials. "Oh," said the appli.
can't. Il am Mr.. Jamestown, of Johns
town flood fame" He was admitted.
and In few days St. Peter met M
Johnstown again and asked him how
he liked heaven and his neighbour
"All but the old party with the LONG
white beard. Whenever l tell about
the Johnstown food he always saws.
oh, rats!'" St. Peter smiled. "Ths
bearded man." he said, rs Noah"
The following conversation that
actually took place in Manila Is sig.
ntficant and very amusing: Ameri.
can housekeeper to Filipino servant:
"Why is 1t, Ramon. that you worked
so well for the spaniards and for
SO little? They treated you very
badly. while treat you very well:
they paid you only two pesos per
month. and you demand of me twenty.
five: I do not understand It," Ra-
mon replied: "Ah, sonora, the Span.
tards were our superioY. You Amer.
leans are our equals"
At musical comedy In London,
rom his seat in the stalls. Clyde
Fitch noticed young man IN one OF
the boxes laughing uproariously. His
companion was a critic and Mr.. Fitch
said to him: "That chap in the box
seems to be enjoying himself" HE
the author" said the critic. well.
them" said Fitch, Il think he ought
to have better taste than to laugh so
loud" "Oh." said the critic. "he u
the author, but he never heard these
jokes before. They were put In BY
the comedian"
An honest and stupid Irishman, who
had worked for coal dealer half \
year, and shown no capacity to learn
his duties, was finally discharged.
Go to the office and get your money.
rye been patient with you. but you
are too thick headed to learn any.
thing" said the proprietor. All
roight, sir" answered Barney: "meb'
be Ohm tIck-headed, as yez say. but
Owe learned wan ting, annaway.
If you have, and learned it well, I'll
not discharge YOU" said the proprie
tor, banteringly, NOW, what have you
learned" "Oi've learned, sor, that
seventeen hundred makes a ton in this
place." returned Barney, and he went
back to work.
During the hottest fighting IN the
Shipka Pass, the leading battalion OF
the Russian General Dragomlrons
division recoiled before a hallstorm
Of Turkish bullets. The general was
a very stout person, and nad INC
general appearance OF a peacelu'
German professor. But When 10
saw his men recoil, he dismounteo
and walked slowly to and fro along
i ridge swept by the enemy's bulletA
He was a hundred yards in advances
Of the men. occupying the position
they had abandoned. After staying
there for awhile without being
touched, he shouted back to the DAY. a.,
talion: "What are you doing, you
geese? Did you think there VIZ
danger here? l don't ind any!
The men responded with roar =.
cheers. doubled up to him. any
charged 30 fiercely that the iuln
we're forced to retreat