The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-08
HUMOR OF TIE DAY

Il U1k4O4G "a 44&G 4A@% 4
Eyes, we elected Mrs. AEilyons president
OF the club, thinking she would give US
sonaething handsome
well. she gave US this portrait Of hers
self.'-Pucl.
That's my best work" said. the. poet
after reading his verses Tn. thinking OF
sCyoDvrighted2s replied the critic. mo,
if I were you I'd have 1t patented. =
Philadelphia Ledger.
III It were not for my wife. srowle6
the first man at the reception, 4 would
s'Neither would 7. doggone ita'' replied
the other man, Iii it were not for my
wife I'm the hostess husband. ''-Eh ila-
.I1.awyer-you say you left home on the
Witnesses. sir.
Lawyer-And came back on the 18th?
Lawyer lsevsreiy)-what were you do
ing in the Interim
Witness-Never was in such a place
Baltimore American
The Landladv during the Thanksgiving
dinner)-AIy Uncle Uriah, who sent me
the magnificent turkey we are now about
to partake OF. told me it was awarded
first prize at the county fair.
Mr. Goodpay Sstr9ggiing nth q yyingl-
iyn Life.
You don't approve of the governaent.s
taking any hand in the railroad bust
80. answered Farmer corntossel, II
believe in keepin' EN- apaft-Sone O these
railroad men is mighty smart. The first
thing we knkow they'll be ownin' a con
trollin interest in the government. -
Washington Star.
s.This train is four hours behind time
We can't put up with any such delays as
Cant help it, sir. It takes so much
time to stop and unite the college stu
dents on the track. Baltimore Anleri-
can.
MY goodness. what a fright he is. All
his front teeth are gone
Yes. He lost them playing foot
soh. how perfectly grand. Introduce
him to me. won't you, please 2''-Chicago
Record-Herald.
This said the agent, 'is the coolest
little fat in Harlem
yes replied the man.
..Oh, there's no doubt about that at
..Thats 50: there isn't any room fo.s
doubt, is there? Philadelphia Ledger. B
Some of his ancestors were highly. dis
tinguished,' said the impressionable heir
YES answered Miss Cayenne but
owing to circumstances over which You
have no control, it is not one of his an
cestors whom you have the opportunity
to marry. w ashington Star.
Tonl-AIiss Woodley tells me her grand
father was q real estate conyeyancer-
To1n-Why9 Isn't that true?
Tess-Oh, yes, I see what she means3
The dumpcart. her grandfather drove WIS
q conveyance for transporting real estate.
Philadelphia Press
IT'S bad enough to have him execut-
ed solsbed Mrs Gobbler. -. az
..But-oh. did you see what he dId a
whole minute after his head was off
No rsplied. Miss Turk, sympathet-
'Ss HE winked his eye at that hussy Miss
Guinea. HenH-Puck-
what did you let that OFFICER get in
and cop out that girl for2 Did he have
more money than you2"
ssNo. but he had more brass. Detroit
Free Press
Bessie-Td never marry a doctor.
Bertie-Why not?
Fessfe-Eesd never send you travelling
for your health.--Brooklyn Eagle.
Friend cat :. French play3-wThy. did you
applaud so vigorously when that come
dian made the speech before the cur
'' spriggins (conhdently)-so folk would
think 1 understood French. What did he
So Tzriend-He said the remainder Of his
part must be taken by an underStudys as
his mother was dyins.-Ilt-4Sits.
e,uest ito Hostess)-Im afraid 7 heard
YOUR husband bark his shin rather badly
against something outside my room last
u Hfiio5stess-Did he say anything?
Guest-Yes; he said: Dear me, this IS
Ff Hos BasslqHi must have been walking in
his sleep.-Punch