davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1905-01-02

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund the money II it fails to cure
4. w. Groves signature is on ca ell box. 2Jc
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1905-01-02

There are two ways OF paralyzing
your neighbours: one is to get d.
vorce and the other Is to so abroad.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1905-01-02

A GUARANTEED CURE FOR PILES.
Itching, Blind, Bleeding Or Protruding Piles.
Your druggist will refund money II pAZO
OINTMENT fails to cure you In to II
days. SOC.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1905-01-02

DO you always keep an appoint.
mont, or just claim to?
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1905-01-02
Water on the Brain.

TOmmy-Did you ever have water
on the brain, Uncle John?
Uncle John (whO is quite bald)-No,
Tommy; but why do you ask?
your hair fell in and got drowned.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1905-01-02

Her Mothcr-Look here. Ernie, I
thought your father told you not to
encourage that young man? Ernie
Oh, dear. mamma. that young man
doesn't need any encouragement.-Chi-
cAgo Daily News
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1905-01-02


'Sther strong min.
erals, but is guar.
anteed entirely
vegetable. Write
rs and our physi.
clans will advise
" it'll Tut . n ,
charge whatever.
Our book on Rheu.
matisu sent free.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1905-01-02

Beatrice aged 9, after remainir q
deep thought for quite two MIMI,
addresses her mother. who has been
choosing frocks for her)-Mummy
dear. before you buy the frocks. I've
thought 1t all over. and l think Ia
rather be o boy.-Punch.
II am strongly inclined to think that
your husband has appendicitis" said
the physician. THAT'S just like him."
answered Mrs. Cumrox. HE always
waits till anything has pretty near
gone out of style before he decides to
get it"-Waahin0ton Star.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1905-01-02
SASH AND DOOR BARGAINS


My hve cross panel
doors at $3.50 per door
are known everywhere
and your nearest deal
err will tell you he
can't purchase q No.
] five crOSspanel door
for the money, from
any dealer or manu-
facturer. He may try
to convince you that
my doors are not good
doors. don't be de-
ceived. / have the
largest business In
the north west, in
my line. T did not
build up this great
business on fraud or
Misrepresentation. ]
can't afford to send
out shoddy materials.
it would soon put my
standing in bad re-
pute, and make OF my
customers lasttpE
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1905-01-02

iERl| fMHER I
yo-acrc s.AAEM LANDS.

-, }o-acrc Il. AAEM LANDS.
-ge whf years, one TOT lease, cue TO
tern variist your farm rom r. r.. $500.
L. 10 pro lease or col, me if you want
I" "" Pacific R,ocr BROWN, AIS
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1905-01-02

"WhO discovered American" asked
the teacher Of the Juvenile class.
Adam and Eve" promptly replied
the boy at the foot.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1905-01-02

enemies. ] have customers in all parts
of the coast, and many throughout the
east-ask them.
MY CUSTOMERS ARE MY BEST AID.
vE1T1SE1ENT. don not sell trash
nothing but the BEST is good enough
for my customers. DO not be nisled.
low price is no bargain, unless yOu
get quality, anybody can sell worthless
goods cheap.
THE WORLDS STANDARD DOOR.
Five cross panel doors, stock Sizes
standard quality. standard thickness
made of clear dry fir, $3.50 per door.
WINDOWS,
glased with natural gas. silver clear
glass, the best glass made.
have all sizes. Send for price Iists
on hardware. windows, doors, window
glass, window frames. door frames
porch columns, etc Don't delay, write
at once to my salesroom, 1903 3rd Ave.
Seattle, Wash.
a. n. wYY.IYAYRA.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1905-01-02
Good Way to Stop 1t.

MOther--B0bby. this is the third
time have caught you helping your
self to cake and jam. I'm getting
tired of it.
Bobby-Well. why don't you quit
hanging around the pantry, then?
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1905-01-02

Of every nature successfully treated.
Also secluded home for ladies before
and during confinement. Consult lady
physician, free, in person or by mali.
Confidential. Paris-New York Medical
instituts: once. Pest Esta I9r;" BOG;
Boz SIC. Seattle. Wash.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1905-01-02
Degrees of Sweetness.

"Nettie," said mother to her s.
year-Old daughter. heres dime; go
to the drug store and get me bottle
OF sweet OIL
Nettie started down the street, but
soon returned to ask:
About how sweet do you want it,
mamma:"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1905-01-02
y '$!:'6lkSHE3S
z&:Ss'It f9N
~%~%~o~%O~

PA, what is repartee?" ooh
merely an insult with its dress suit on
my son."-Puck.
Mr.. Flush-Have you change for
FIVE? Mr.. BrOke--NO; but | would like
to have a Ave for changc.-Ex.
Jurge Knox Qn the court rOom)-
I've lost my hat. Attorney-That's
nothing. l lost suit here yesterday.
Fix.
He-It's hard to keep a secret some
times, isn't it? She--I don't know;
I've never tried it.-Detroit Free
Press.
a little boy was asked his name. and
answered. well, they call me jim
mic, for short; but my maiden name is
James"
Pm sure lie said he was out of pol
itics for good You must have mis-
understood him. He's ont for the
goods in politics. '-Philadelphia Press.
Edith-When accepted Jack he
said he was in the seventh heaven.
Ethel-Quite likely; he's been engaged
20 six other girls this seasOn.-Jester
Minister-So you saw some boys
fishing on the Sabbath, my young man.
Did you do anything TO discourage
them? Small Boy-Yes, sir; | stole
their bait.
Hawkins-That pickpocket they
caught is really very intelligent fell
low. Sampson--No doubt of it. lie
proved that by his ability to locate u
lady's pocket.
Jaggles-Do those noblemen who
come over here to visit us acquire
many Of our customs? Wagglcs--l
presume so. At any rate. they borrow
q great deal from us.
MY kingdom for horse. cried
Richard the Third. And moment
later he was seen slowly emerging
from under his balky automobilAe!'
Cleveland Plain Dealer. !
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1905-01-02
LITTLE STORIES
AND INCIDENTS
That Will Interest and
Entertain Young
Readers.

doors so that they will tit snugly and
close easily. The doors will keep their
shape better if made from narrow
matched boards and held together at
the ends with battens or strips nailed
across the ends OF the boards. Two
inch wrought butts will he heavy
enough for the hinges of the doors.
Provide cabinet lock at the edge of
the outer door.
On the inside Of the outer door some
tool pegs can he arranged. and near
the bottom bit rack is made with a
leather strap formed into loops. I'm
der each loop hole is bored in Il strip
Of wood into which the square end OF
the bits will fit. so they will stand
vertically and appear in an orderly
row; for chisels similar set Of peck
cts can be made of wOod.-St. NichO-
las
Holbrook argus., 1905-09-23
Wear Tinsel Again.

Tinsel and tawdriness have been been coupled together for so long that few women have had chance to real ize what an attractive addition touch of it might form to the trimming of costume. Parisian modistes, however, are now utilizing it, and with such artistic results that their customers seem as attracted by it as lot of moths.
 One Eastern woman, when she was in town a few days ago, wore crea- tion which might have been copied from a Reynolds picture. It was of black gauge over black silk. The skirt was embroidered about the edge with sprays of blue corn flowers and wheat done in tinsel thread. Its surplice bodice was finished by a black lace fichu worked in the same design. A rosette of tinsel was added to the vel vet belt, and another gleamed from under the brim of her huge black hat.
Holbrook argus., 1905-09-23
A Jealous Elephant.

A large elephant, formerly the cen ter of attraction in a certain Zoo, found itself supplanted in public favor by a new arrival-a young camel. This camel was the latest acquisition, and very naturally engaged the attention of visitors.
 The elephant for long time show ed signs of dissatisfaction, and at last his jealousy reached a point where 1t must find expression. When the usual crowd gathered about the camel the elephant prepared for action. He filled his trunk with water, and with de- liberate aim discharged the water all over the people who stood looking at the baby camel.
Holbrook argus., 1905-09-23
Almost Satisfied.
purpose.

Congressman Broussard, of Louisi- ana, says that at New Iberia, his State, in the early sos, when that dis trict was visited by severe flood, one of the expeditions for relief organized by the government one day encoun. tered an old negro who, in a dilapi- dated dugout, was having considerable trouble in keeping afloat. The old fel- low was busy padding with one hand, while he bailed out his craft with the other.
 At this juncture the relief boat came within hailing distance, and the cap. tain called out:
 Hello, there, uncle! Anything you want?"
 "Nothin' 'cept wings, boss" was the grim reply.
Holbrook argus., 1905-09-23
In Search of a Lodging.

There is story of home-loving farmer who started for the West and came home "to spend the first night" This was question of sentiment; but another man, quoted by the Philadel' phia Ledger, had more practical req son for seeking cover.
 He had been hired by a close-fsted farmer, who believed in burning the candle at both ends. The first morn- ing the new man was called at 5 o'clock. About fifteen minutes later he came downstairs with his bag in his hand.
 "Ain't you goin' to work?" asked the farmer, in surprise.
 "No," was the dlsgusted answer. "I'm goin' to hunt up some place to stay all night"
Holbrook argus., 1905-09-23
On the Wrong Man.

Bret Harte was so frequently com pllmented on being the author of Lit tie Brooches" that he was almost as sorry 1t was ever written as Is Secre- tary John Hay, who would prefer hls fame to rest on more ambitious work. A gushing lady who prided herself upon her literary tastes said to him once:
 "Mr. Harte, am so delighted to meet you. have read everything you ever wrote, but of all your dialect verse there Is none that compares to your Little Breeches.'
 II quite agree with you, madam" said MT. Harte, but you have put the little brooches on the wrong man."
Holbrook argus., 1905-09-23
Deduction of Dear Friend.

"The most ridiculous thing happened today" said the girl who had been out in her new bonnet. "There was a man on the corner near big trench they were digging for sewer or something and the man kept staring at me all the time as I neared him and what do you think? He gazed at me so steadily that he did not see the trench and fell into it."
 "Howv exclaimed the girl who had no new bonnet. "Did you look at him. too?"
 "Well, of course couldn't help just <lancing at him."
 "Maybe he jumped into the trench"
 Judge.
Holbrook argus., 1905-09-23
A Pagan Memorial Day.

In ancient Rome one of the most Important public festivals was the Parentalia. This was held in honor of deceased relatives and lasted from February IS to 21. It was a public holiday; the temples were closed, mar riages were prohibited and the magis- trates appeared in public without wear day of the observance was called the Feralia, and was season of universal interest. Other festivals in honor of the dead were held on August 24, Octo- Der and November 8, when souls were supposed to rise. On these oc- casions the graves were decked with roses, violets and other flowers.
Holbrook argus., 1905-09-23
An Easy Job.

Big Chief Scared-of- -His-Job had met with an accident while securing the plains and it was necessary for the army surgeon to amputate his leg. After q time the missing limb was replaced by a wooden one, and meeting him later the doctor said:
 "How do you like your wooden leg, old man"
 "Ughw responded Scared-of- His-Job. "Injun likum heap much. Injun likum you makum all wood."
 Make you all wood?" queried the M. D. in surprise. "What for 2"
 ''Injun make heap money then" an- swered the noble red man. "Getum job standum in front of cigar store. Ugh"
Holbrook argus., 1905-09-23
A Superfluity of Stars.

A new story of Whistler is recorded The artist and friend went for a walk along the Embankment one won- derfully starry night. Whistler had been in a very discontented mood all day and inclined to find fault with everything. Nothing pleased him-the houses were ugly, the river was not what it might have been, the lights hard and glaring. His friend pointed out several things that appealed to him as beautiful, but the master would not give in.
 "No," he said Mature is only some times beautiful-Only sometimes very, very seldom indeed-and tonight she is, as so often, positively ugly"
 But the stars Surely they are fine to-night?" urged the other.
 Whistler looked up at the sky.
 "Yes," he drawled, they're not bad, perhaps, but, my dear fellow, there's too many of them"
Holbrook argus., 1905-09-23
Marrying on Account.

Rev. MT. Williams was the Congre- gational minister in the village of Winslow, Me-, several years ago. One evening, says q correspondent of the Boston Globe, four young people called at the parsonage. Two of them wished to be married.
 The papers in the case were legal, so Mir. Williams performed the cere- mony. The other couple acted as bridesmaid and best man. The groom was the son of wel-known man in the town, and as the happy couple were leaving the parsonage the young man whispered to Mir. Williams:
 Just charge it to father, parson. It will be all right
Holbrook argus., 1905-09-23
A Fib that Told on Itself.

A West Side young woman, who was going about twenty-five miles in the country to visit an aunt recently, had arranged to take a morning train and had written her relative to meet her. She found, however, that it would be inconvenient to take that train, so she decided to go in the evening. Imagine the surprise of her aunt on meeting the morning train to find no girl, but letter in the mail it brought saying:
 "I'm sorry, aunt Mary, but missed the morning train. I'll be out on the evening one-Kate." e."-Kansas City Times.
Holbrook argus., 1905-09-23
Good Morning and Good-By.

Sweet, familiar meadows,
 Beneath a tranquil sky, There's whisper in your shadows
 Of "good-morning" and "good-by." Bright stream, seaward flowing,
 With sweetest song and sigh, You murmur still to vale and hill:
 "Good-morning, and good-by" There's a dream of hearts that sever
 A thought of dreams that die; Forever and forever,
 "Goodmorning, and good-by" Atlanta Constitution.
Holbrook argus., 1905-09-23
Relieved the Monotony.

The freckled lad was fishing from the bridge when the inquisitive old gentleman approached him. Catching any catfish, sonny" "Naww
 "SunniesY
 "Nopew
 "Eels?"
 "Nicht!
 "Then it's a wonder you don't get lonesome"
 No, there is always plenty of one thing"
 What's that?"
 "Foolish questions by old guys that don't know a calnsh from a cam."
Holbrook argus., 1905-09-23
Riveted.

Did you meet my tailor coming up the hallway?" inquired the Russian mo- bleman.
 "No," replied the American visitor. "but met a man with pair of steel. cutting shears, several sheets of armor plate and bag of rivets. Are you going to have the boiler in the castle repaired?"
 "No, that was my tailor. He is com. ing up to fit on my new spring coat"
 "Well, what was he doing with all that hardwareW
 "Oh, we all wear steel bomb-proof coats now"
Holbrook argus., 1905-09-23
Between Friends.

Singleton-Say, old man, I want ycu to do me a favor.
 Wedderly-What Is 1t?
 Singleton-You are married.
 Wedderly-Sure.
 Singleton - Been married three times, I understand.
 Wedderly-That's the way 1t shows up on the records.
 Singleton-Well, I'm thinking seri- ously of taking unto myself wife and I want you to dissuade me from my purpose.
Holbrook argus., 1905-09-23
No Mercy.

When the fool-killer came to the mar who rocks the boat he was determined to mete out severe punishment.
 Are you going to kill him?" asked the friend.
 "No," replied the fool-killer; "that would be too lenient. I am going to make him marry modern club woman so he will be doomed to rock the baby when she goes out"
Holbrook argus., 1905-09-23
A Fortunate Interruption.

''I had an awful scare yesterday"
 Flow was thatT
 "Why, got foolish and proposed to that pretty Miss Penniless."
 "Did she accept you"
 "Why, a suburban car with hat wheel passed just at that moment and don't think she heard me."-Clevs- land Plain Dealer
Holbrook argus., 1905-09-23
Not So Presum ptious as That.

What are you doing with that sheet of paper, Orville?" sharply asked his wife.
 q am making wish" answered MT Meekun.
 "A wish?'
 "Yes, my dear. In your presence shall not presume to call 1t a will"
Holbrook argus., 1905-09-23
Lack of Perception,

Dat dog O mine," said Mir. Erastus Pinkley, keeps on a tryin' to whup ev'ry four-footed critter dat comes down de road"
 "He must be a fighter"
 'No, suh. He ain't no fighter. But he don seem able to reco'nize de fack." Washington Star.
Holbrook argus., 1905-09-23
Quite a Relief.

Timid Youth-I have-er-come to ask g-great favor of your, sir. r. CT
 young man; this is my busy day.
 Timid Youth Hove your d-daughter, sir. and c-came to ask her hand in m-marriage.
 Stern Parent-Oh, all right, my boy; take her, and welcome. thought at first you wanted to borrow money.
Holbrook argus., 1905-09-23
Insinuated,

"Who owns that painting?" Tt is mine now"
 "Well done"
 But am not the artist. I am the buyer"
 Again l say well done." Do you mean, sir, the picture or me?"
Holbrook argus., 1905-09-23
A Doubtful Compliment.

Mrs. Malaprop-I'm so glad to meet you, Mir. Scriblets, for 1 have enjoyed your books so much.
 Scriblets (delighted)-Thank you, Mrs. Malaprop. I am indeed pleased to know you appreciate my humble literary eff. forts.
 Mrs. Malaprop-Yes, certainly do. Why, there isn't night of my life that I don't fall asleep over one of them.
Holbrook argus., 1905-09-23
Friendly Criticism.

Scribbles-I say, old man, I've a great mind to write a book.
 Dribbles-I doubt it.
 Scribbles-Doubt my ability to write a book?
 Dribbles-Not at all. Any fool can write book; but I'm doubtful about your having a great mind.
Holbrook argus., 1905-09-23
Between Friends.

Ross-Give it time and the truth will out.
 Bateman-Yes, I guess that's right. You have been on earth long time, and the truth seems to be pretty we'll out of you
Holbrook argus., 1905-09-23

Infant mortality is reported to be greater in Prussia than in any other country except Russia. The deaths the trst year are 6 to per cent in Sweden, l5 in France and 23.6 in Prussia.
The Tupelo journal., 1905-05-12
Snrtal ann prrannal

The Journal was favored by a call
from Mr.. and Mrs. Steinber ger of
Okolona Saturday last. Mrs. Stein
berger expressed herself as much
surprised at Tupelo's rapid growth.
d.. Leem Brown who has just come
pletcd a very satisfactory year in the
mess:cal department of Tulum Universe
ty, New Orleans, has returned home
and is now in the Office of Drs. Bonner
and Elkin where he will get the adj
vantages of clinical lectures during
the summer.
Rev. II. A. Kimbrough left Wednes-
day afternoon over the Frisco road for
Kansas City to be present at the ses-
Southern Babtist Association. He
will return by way of ST. Louis and
spendseveral days attending the North
ern Baptist Association which will be
in session in that city next week.
The Journal force this week is short
by two which places US at very great
disadvantage. Mr.. John Angin, who
neser had the responsibility before of
getting out the paper, took charge
and got the paper out on time. The
disability of Mr.. Delay throws double
duly and responsibility upon the rest OF
the forco who are meeting their respon-l
sil:lities with much credit.
The annual Commencement Service
of Tupelo High school will be held at
Court House Sunday II A.. M. urder
the auspecies of the Christian Church.
PROGRAM.
Song oroation,
Prayer,
Music by Double Quartette
Sermon, Rev. j. w. Massha1
stAnnual Offering"
Song Doxology.
Evangelist Marshall will hold special
service at Court House Sunday at 4
O'Clock for men.
The meeting being conducted at the
Chrirtian Church by Elder j. w. Mar
shall of Texas is attended by abpre-
ciative congregations morning and eve
ming. The minister delivers forceful
sermons and has met with success in
his various fields of labor. He has Just
finished a meeting in Indiana where he
had over a hundred and, fifty CONVEX
sions in one week.
Inc SlIiSi1S, WHEY 10 di aecAoSNL
feature of the services, is conducted by
Rev. C. X, Marshall, Jr. The Journal
joins the pastor in extending to the
visiting minister a cordial welcome, and
trusts he. may have the same success
here he has had elsewhere.
The state Convention Of Mississippi
Baptists meets with the Baptist Church
in Tupelo July 5th and will be in SEES
sion three days. This viii be an inter-
e5ting meeting for U town and COM
munity. This Convention meets annu-
ually in the state, but our town has
never before had the pleasure of enter
tanning it. This body will bring into
our midst some of the leading workers
in our state in both religious and edu-
cational lines The pastor Of the Bah
tist Church here thinks there will be
near 400 representatives in the meet
ing Such gatherings r n r to bring
to q community far more than the cost
Of entertaining it. VIZ are glad to
have this convention and anxiously
await the time of its arrival.
The Tupelo journal., 1905-05-12

Those who are unfortunate and
are not able to pay fer having
their eyes properly treated and
pay for properly fitted glasses,
should call Saturday from 8 to Ii
a. M, when the Eye Specialist
will be only too glad to furnish
them with the proper glasses free
Of charge. After II O'Clock a.
m. the Doctor will only charge
for the glasses. After Saturday
the Goth inst a fee of ten dollar
will be charged for examination.
DR.. SWARTz Office at Read Hotel.
The Tupelo journal., 1905-05-12

Joe Towery Of Plantersville Washere
on business. Mr.. Towery owns q good
deal Of bottom lands but il anybody
makes a crop he will make one equally
as good.
The second district was well rep
resented in Tupelo Tuesday. Among
those her were: e. f. Payne, MI. and
Mrs. VIII Wade, Miss Payne, Frank
Payne.
Rev. 4. w. Lewis left Monday for
Anory where he goes to assist in 2
protrscted meeting. Mr.. Lewis is an:
able minister and neversfails to deliver
interesting sermons.