Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1905-12-27

Abroad were first given TO us. On De
cember 9Th he was the guest OF honor
ut dinner In New York, to celebrate
his SEVENTEEN birthday. The guests
were confined closely to writer's
OF ina ginative literature. and about
10 authors were present, nearly ha,i
OF them women. Every guest received
as souvenir a bust OF Mark Twain.
half-life size. Naturally Mr.. Clemens
was the principal speaker; he took as
his text. How to get TO be seventy
and not mind it." He said
THE SEVENTEEN birthday IL Is the
time OF life when you arrive at new
and awful dignity; when you may
throw aside the decent reserves which
have oppressed you for a generation,
and stand unafraid and unabashed
upon your seven-terraced summit and
look down and teach-unrebuked. You
can tell the world how you got there.
1t is what they all do. You shall never
get tired OF telling by what delicate
arts and deep moralities you climbed
up to that great place. You will ex-
plain the process and dwell on the par
ticulars with senile rapture. I nave
been anxious to explain my own sys-
tenn for n long time. and now at last
I have the right.
Regularly Irregular.
"I have achieved my seventy years
in the usual way-by sticking strictly
to a scheme of my life which would
Kill anybody else. 1t sounds like an ex'
aggeration, but that Is really the com
mon rule for attaining to old age
We have no permanent habits until
we are forty. Then they begin 10 har-
don rracanftv fbau uafrffy than hnef.
ness begins. Since forty / have been
regular about going to bed and getting
up. and that is one Of the main things.
I have made 1t n rule TO go to bed
when there wasn't anybody left to sit
up with, and have made 1t n rule TO
get up when / had to. This has result
ed in an answering regularity of IT.
regularity.
I'm the matter OF diet-wh.ch Is
another main thing-I have been per-
sistently strict I'm sticking to the things
which didn't agree with me until one
or the other OF us got the best OF II.
Until lately I got the best Of II myself.
But last spring I stopped frolicking
| with mince pie after midnight; up to
then I had always believed 1t wasn't
| loaded. For thirty years have taken
coffee and bread at 8 In the morning
and no bite nor sup until 100 In the
evening.
az have made It rule never to
smoke more than one cigar at n time.
have no other restriction as regards
smoking. / do not know Just when
began to smoke; | only know that II
was in my fathers lifetime. and that
was indiscreet. He passed from this
life early in 1S47, when / was shade
asst eleven: ever since then I have
smoked publicly. AS an example to
others. and not that I care for moder-
alton myself, IT has always been my
rule never to smoke when asleep, and
never to refrain when awake.
"As for drinking, I have no rule
about that. When the others drin..
like to help; otherwise / remain dry,
by habit and preference. This dry
ness does not hurt me, but II could
easily hurt you, because you are
different. You LET II alone.
First Standard Gil Trust.
"Since 7 was seven years old I have
seldom taken a dose Of medicine and
have still more seldom needed one.
But ND to seven I lived exclusively on
alIopathic medicines. Not that need
cd them. for don't think did: but II
was for economy. My father took a
drug store for debt. and It made cod
liver oil cheaper than the other break
fast foods. I was the first Standard
OIL Trust. had n all BY the time
the drug store was exhausted my
health was established, and there has
never been much the matter with me
since.
1T have never taken any exercise. ex-
cept sleeping and resting, and mover