Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1905-01-05
JUST LIKE A
MAN!
BY Belle hanfdfer
Copyright. 1904, by Belle Maniates

"We've just had letter from Aunt
Maria, our one and only rich relative,
and she is coming to visit us"
"And you want me to do the nice
thing and show her about. | suppose.
All right. Count on me-" responded
Billy cheerfully.
mo, indeed Billy; far from it, What
l want particularly is that you should
keep in the background during her Wis
it,"
"Oh. of course, if you are ashamed
of me before your rich relatives" he
replied in offended tones.
"Wait. Billy, til | explain. Our
Aunt Maria is widow and childless.
Naturally we are all posted on her lit
tie peculiarities, of which she has
many and are careful not to offend i'll
any way. There are So many subjects
that are tabooed that l never can
coach you on them all before she ar
rives. so when YOU meet her you must
keep as quiet as you can and only
speak when spoken to-" interrupted
Billy, "lke n good little boy, I'll try to
remember my childhood precepts, but
am of the opinion your Aunt Maria
will think her niece is not going to
make very brilliant match. II ]
don't speak. she'll think me regular
stick"
at far better she should think that
than to have you win her dislike by
saying the wrong thing. You know
you haven't much tact, Billy. l am
glad of it, A tactfu man seems effem-
mate.
That's right. Put some sugar on
the medicine" he muttered reproach-
fully
but there is one subject, Billy. you
must not mention as You value your
life, your reputation and my friend
ship Do you think you can remem-
beri'
"I'll try awfully hard. What is it:"
ITS corns.'
"CornS!'
YES You see, when Aunt Marias
husband was poor-before he struck oil
in Texas--he was a chiropodist. Aunt
Maria has always seemed ashamed of
that fact, and we We're always caution
ed not to say word along those
lines"
"Well, III try not to tread on her
toes"
"Oh, Billy eNpoStulated Mabel.
"When is she comngf'
Tomorrow Come up in the evening
and call"
The following day Billy went about
ruefully studying little memorandum
he had written out and kept constantly
repeating to himself, Mustn't say
corns" Consequently when he APP
peared at the home of his tiancee that
evening and was presented to Aunt
Maria the only topic in his thoughts
was corns. He replied to all her APP
proaches toward conversation in mono
syllables. Finally there came pro-
longed and deadly lull, and Billy, after
I racking his brains for something to
say, blurted out;
| Did you ever read Bunyan's PHI
! grims Progress"
| "Oh, Billy" family gasped Mabel.
| The whitening looks from the other
members of the family and the feeling
that he had made himself generally
disliked caused Billy TO bring his call
to an abrupt termination. The next
/ day Mabel telephoned him to meet her
! in the park.
| Billy" she cried as soon as she saw
| him, Il know you so well that | know
! how it happened, but mamma and the
! girls are furious at you and declare
| you did it on purpose, and | guess,
/ Billy, you mad better not come again
until Aunt Maria has gone and the
family is cooled down
Billy groaned.
You didn't say anything about bun
! ions"
1T would have done no good if l
had
"What did your aunt say about me-
anything
"She asked what your business was
what did you tell her?'
II told her you were only through
college and had not yet decided what
! to go into"
"How long viii she stay?"
"A week II will be the longest one l
! ever put in. We must say goodby until
| she goes. II viii never do to meet you
! this way again. They would be sure to
! hear of it
Just as you say" he replied discon-
! solGtely.
After they had parted Billy walked
| slowly downtown Suddenly lie saw
! Aunt Maria coming toward him. There
( was no escape. \ Hasnlight of inspira-
! ton, born of desperation burst upon
/ Billy, and he determined to make a
! brilliant coup When he came up to
/ tue elderly lady. who yas laden vita
bundles of every size and description,
| he stopped, lifted his hat and asked If
he might not carry her bundles for her
! and escort her home
W hy. yes. ! don't suppose you have
! anything else TO do"
! no, not ut present he answered.
\ relieving her of her bundles and ac-
| commodating his pace to hers
"Young man" she said abruptly.
"they tell ne you have no business. I
| don't approve OF an idle man, especial
| ~ young man Youth is the time e.