davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
FISHING with Bird Bait.

"Of all the queer baits," said the
old Gloucester man, "the Queerest is
used by our own fishermen. Some
times it makes the most successful
bait there is, and the fish will take ii
when they won't touch anything else.
'Hag fishing we call it.
''The hag or hagdon is big bird
that lives entirely on the sea, like the
Mother Carey's chickens, rarely com
ing to land. When we get among a
lot of them we send out a few dories
and the men throw out their cord lines
with the hooks bated with the regula-
ton bats, such as bits of Goldfish,
clans or caplin.
Only. they don't put sinkers on the
lines, but just toss the tackle out and
let it drift. Before many minutes the
hagadols will be lowering around the
boats to see if there is anything to
eat, for they are as greedy as can be.
Soon one will spy the bait, and with a
scream he will swoop and grab it, pro-
yided the rest don't get ahead of him.
The moment the hagdon has the bait
In bis bill, the fisherman pulls and
the hook catches in his curved'beak.
Then Mr.. Hagdon is dragged,
screaming and futtering and fighting
to the boat, where he is dispatched
On the smack the hagdons are plucked
and cut up and slowed away in salt or
ice to serve as bait on the banks.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
Oddities of ZOOLOGY.

Zoology has it's Oddities" said
John Lover, the Zoo. keeper. "and
that is why I study it at night. after
my regular work is done.
There are certain animals whose
circulation reverses it's direction at
short intervals. The blood flows one
way IN them for while, then it turns
and f1oWs the other way.
Ihere are insects that have their
ears on their legs. Others have their
ears on their tails. AS for the eyes
well, they may be found on the back,
on the she'll, on the limbs, practically
everywhere.
Ihere are animals that lay two
and three different kind of eggs. and
there are eggs that each produce
from two to eight young.
There are Siamese twin animals,
with two bodies perfectly united.
There are males that live in the gul.
lets OF females. There are animals
that commit suicide rather than be
slain.
Altogether zoology is odd and in
teresting. | would rather study it at
night than go to the y."-Philadel.
phia Ledger.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
A Lauohinu Game.

In comment on the physical benefit
that doctors say comes from a good,
hearty laugh, is this account of a
game that is warranted to set whole
room in an uproar of merriment.
This is one'of the jolliest impromp-
tu games that we know of. We mean
by impromptu that it requires no
preparation whatever, but may be
played by roomful Of boys and girls
the moment it is suggested. And it
is brimful of fun from start to finish.
Any number of players may take
part in it. They first select leader,
who should be a bright, alert, quick
witted boy, who is capable of preserv
ing his self-possession while fun and
laughter is going on around him.
The players seat themselves in a
circle and the leader takes his place
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
Cannot Reduce a Rate

1t is stated in Washington that un.
der the Townsend&ate bill if a rate is
fixed by the commission it cannot be
lowered by railroad. Should an
emergency arise calling for decreased
rate the railroads Or shippers would
have to appeal again to the commits.
sion, there being no latitude allowed,
whatever the circumstances. Hitherto
a maximum rate has been the rule, but
no such concession is made under the
proposed legislation.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
Tin Gun Trick,


so that it looks as if the cup were full,
whereas it is really standing upside
down and the layer Of seed is glued
to the outside bottom.
When you are ready to perform the
trick, have bag of the same kind of
seed, and, standing off from your AUDI
fence. hold the cups so that they can
see they are empty, but don't allow
anyone to approach You.
Now take one leIp and dip it into
the bag OF seeV but instead of filling
II, turn = lII-1Tpside down, so that when
you take it out the seed glued to the
bottom will show, and everyone will
think it is full.
Place the apparently full cup of
seed under hat, but in doing so dex-
terously turn it so that the empty
cup is upright and the glued seed at
the bottom. Don't let your audience
see this turn.
Now take the other cup, which is
empty, and let them see you put it
under another hat, but also turn this
one SO that they do not see you do it.
This brings the seed to the top and
looks as if the cup were full, and
when you remove the hat, after pro-
nouncing some magic words, it will
look as if the cups had changed
places.
Remove the cups before anyone has
a chance to examine them.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
Turkey Properly "Stuffed."

Mrs Pratt of Moores Corner had a
joke played on her at Christmas time.
She received letter from sister in
the west, saying that box, contain.
ing among other things, turkey, all
stuffed, was on it's way, starting the
first of the month. On it's arrival, she
hastened to get out the turkey, fear.
ing it had spoiled, having been so long
on the road, and behold, it proved to
be a papier mache turkey, with a 81
greenback for stuffing.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
Bear Broke Loo Jam.

A log jam on an Illinois river was
broken in peculiar manner. A brown
bear was noticed by one of the river
men prowling around the skids, and
later was observed crawling over the
piled-up timber. Gradually Bruin
worked his way down to the key log
and attacked it frantically. Instantly
the mass of logs broke. The bear
was crushed to pieces. Later it was
learned that the key log was filed
with honey.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27

in the center.> He holds in his hand
a white handkerchief, which he has
knotted so as to make it partly solid
When everything is ready the lead
er tosses the handkerchief up in the
air, and then every player must begin
laughing. But they must all stop
laughing by the time the handkerchief
reaches the floor, and if anyone does
not stop and the leader catches him
either laughing or smiling he imposes
forfeit or fine.
Or instead of making the detected
laugher pay a forfeit he may be re-
quired to drop out of the circle. If
played in this way the players drop
out one after another until only one
is left, and that one wins the prize.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
English shonkeeners.

The upper class in England is sink
ing; the middle is rising rapidly, and
those who belong to the former keep
shops in assumed names, while those
who belong to the latter endeavor to
conceal that they themselves are CON-
nected with trade. The conversation
of both, however, betrays that they
are shopkeepers.-Lond Truth. p
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
Simple Cause Of Death.

Mrs. Horace e. May of Wilmington,
VT, recently lost valuable pair OF
two@year-old steers, in a. peculiar man
ner. The steers were chained togeth-
er in a stall and in some manner they
became so entangled in the chain that
both choked to death. Apparently one
had lain down and the other had
stepped across it's neck and then the
first one had attempted to get up,
with fatal results to both.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
Mother-ip-Law Wanted.

Mrs. Homer-'.I wonder where Mrs.
Weeds will make her home now that
both of her daughters are married
with her son-in-law in New York OF
with her son-in-law in st. LOUISE"
Homer -ssI don't know, I'm sure.
They both want her,
Mrs. Indeed? What dutlful
sons-in-lawv
Homer-"Oh, not necessarily. The
one in New York wants her in ST. Louis
and the one in st. Louis wants her ID
New Chicago News.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
Work After. Not Before.

ssIf you had a million dollars would
you keep on working or would you
knock off and take the world easy?'
asked Blobbs.
''You have got that twisted" replied
FURRY. "You take the world easy be-
fore the million comes, as rule, and
then you have to work to keep it
Cincinnati ommercial-Tribune.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
Showing Completed

cles into twenty-six equal parts, and
iii each section write a letter of the
alphabet, beginning at any point, and
writing in succession around until
each section is filed. The diameter of
the outer circle will be three inches,
and of the inner circle two and half
inches.
Now on cardboard draw circle
with the same diameter as that of your
inner circle, and cut out the disk.
When this is done, draw circle on the
disk quarter of an inch from the
edge and divide the space between the
circle and the edge into twenty-six
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
Not Exactly the Same.

81 received Your Majesty's message"
said the new missionary. "Did [ un-
derstand you would do me the honor to
call upon me and dine Tomorrow"
almost correct" replied the canni-
bal chief II said 1 would call and
dine upon you w.''-Catholic
Standard and Times.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
She Followed Instructions,

Mrs. N. was giving instructions to
her new servant. Before removing
the soup plates, Mary. always ask
each person If he or she would like
any more"
Very good, madam"
Next day Mary, respectfully bowing
TO one of the guests, inquired:
Would the gentleman like some more
soup?"
"Yes, please"
"There isn't any left"
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
Terrible.

"Why is Belle so bitter against
Charlie?"
'He arose and gave her his seat in
the street car"
s"Why, should have thanked him."
"She did, and he said: Not at all.
Mother always taught me to be polite
to old ladies' '"-Chicago News.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
WI'T.uuAH1UMOR
IF TIL E D AY


Mother has lace collection, 'sEF
Sister goes for rugs;
Others go for books and pictures,
Butterflies and bugs.
One thing, thougE they all omitted
! So, the whirl to join
Father works with toll unceasing;
He collects the coin.
-McLandburgh Wilson,
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27

1t was three years ago that used
Doan's Kidney Pills for an attack of
kidney trouble that was mostly back
ache, and they fixed me up fine. There
is no mistake about that, and if /
should ever be troubled again / would
get them first thing, as know what
they are"
For sale by all dealers. Price so
cents. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, n. \ I
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
The Eternal Masculine.

y. Hc EternaI masculine.
AT seventeen we meet some girl
we worship fond and deep,
An1 Ma beg from her tiny curl
!. we we eer any aye may keep.
lis th1n-sDun gold" we ardent swear.
"A mesh of filigree,
ana fondly kiss and hide it where
NO prying eye may see.
At twenty-seven less enthused
With auburn tinted curls.
We, finding it, grow much confused
10 recollect which girls
ar head 1t lent halo to
..xy, May, Kate, or Prue. the dears-
Weii, pshaw! the thing that's best to do
IS Keep 1T ten more years!"
At thirty seven, then, one day
Wnlle rummaging, we stare
IN apsent way at it and say:
Inc devil! Whose red hair
Is Ihls?. 1t neer belonged to me
we ehe foss nrieky q tostn Stuff" All, Fate!
.oss II forth, and smile to see
II crinkle in the CRATE
Brooklyn Life.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27

the kidneys.
Doan's Kidn
Pills which haV
cured thousands.
Captain s. Dy
Hunter, of En-
gine No. IA, Pitts
burg, Pa, Fire
Department, and
residing at 2719
Wylie avenue,
says:
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
Commercial.

Skemer-"I think I'll get married"
Ascum-"You surprise me. l didn't
think you had girl"
Skemer-"I haven't yet but fellow
gave me wedding ring to-day in part
payment of bill he owed me, and I've
got to get the worth of my money!
Philadelphia Press.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
Ivory Congratulations.

A very famous American dentist met
the. English husband of an American
friend of mine with the genial congra-
tulation: "My dear sir, wish you JOY!
You have married a first-rate set OF
teeth. h."-Fortnightly Review.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
The Hat That BROUGHT Gold.

1t is not always a hen, but some
times hat, that brings more gold to
its owner than he wants.
An organist Of ST. Petersburg
bought himself new hat one day.
Returning to his home one evening,
he found awaiting him there two pock-
et-books we'll filed with money. How
they came there none could explain.
The next day and the days follow
ing, when he returned home, the same
thing occurred: He soon had half a
dozen pocketbooks full of money.
At last, positively mystified. the
honest man went and related the oc-
currence to the chief of police Then
it was discovered that this unexpected
wealth came to him from the wearing
of his hat, which happened to be ex-
actly like that worn by the chief of a
band Of thieves.
The idea was that when a man
wore this hat it was a signal that all
the thieves were to take their booty
to the house where he was staying.
So these thieves faithfully brought
their booty to the organist's house.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
The Magical Cups of Tin.

This little trick, performed in a par
ior. will make you appear quite a
magician. Get beforehand two per-
fectly plain tin cups, without handles
and with the bottom sunk about a
quarter of an inch, and straight sides.
On the sunk bottom Of each put some
glue. and over it drop some bird-seed,
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
Trouble Began Right There.

st am going to compile book of my
baby's smart sayings" declared proud
Mrs. Noowed. "What do you think
would make an appropriate title?
Borrowed Brightness suggested
Miss Sulfuric.
This was why they stopped speak
ing.~LOuisville Courier journal.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
A Skatorial Sensation.

SkatOrlaI SensdtIOHs
do you skater
~ skated once"
do any fancy stunts?'
Inc"
.Write your name on the icey
"No. But I wrote it large IN the
newspapers .,!~s
ssHow was that?"
81 skated into an airhole and they
had to drain the pond to get me OUT
Cleveland Plain Dealer. II
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27

Secret Code Dial.
is the key, as the recipient, in order
to read your note, must have his dial
arranged as yours was when you
wrote it.
Suppose, as an illustration, you
were playing war game and wished
to send the following message ssThe
feet sails at noon tomorrow" You
set your dial at JE, which serves as
the key, and keeping the dial fixed
thus, you write, instead Of the letters
T H E in the outer alphabet, the cor
responding letters in the inner alpha
bet, thus; zRC LSCCz MBVSM BIZ
YDDY ZDWDFFDA.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
Urchln and Mother.

Whilst walking down a crowded city
street the other day
I heard a little urchin to a comrade turn
and say:
Say, Chimmy, lemme tell youse I'd be
happy as a clam
II I only. wuz de feller dat me mudder
thinks / am
She thinks I am a wonder an she knows
her little lad
Could never mix wit nuttin dat wuz
ugly, mean or bad.
Oh, lots O. times / sit an t'ink how nice
'twould be, gee whiz!
II feller wuz de feller dat his mudder
thinks he is.'
MY friend, be yours life of toll or un-
diluted joy,
Hou still can learn a lesson from this
small, unlettered boy.
Don't aim to be an earthly saint, with
eyes fixed on a star,
Just try to be the fellow that your moth
er thinks you are
louisville Courier Journal.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
1OV Nature.

.ssshhet7s go over to Baxtes,ss pond to
skate"
"Oh, it's too fur. Let's skate here on
the crick."
"But the ice is heap thinner over at
Baxters."
"All right. Come ahead" ."-Louisvilie
Courier-JOurnal.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27

hsk Your Dealer For Aliens Foot-Ease.
powder. 1t rests the feet. Cures Corns,
Bunions. Swollen, Sore, Hot, Cal lous, Aching
Sweating Feet and Ingrowing Nails. Aliens
Foot Ease makes new orttght shoes easy At
all Druggists and Shoe stores, 25 cents. Ac-
ecpt no substitute. Sample mailed FREE.
Address, Allen S. Olmsted, Leroy, N. Y.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
lrreverent Joker.

In an old Virginia cemetery there is
a weathersbeaten tombstone bearing
this inscription: Il await my hus-
band, May 26, 1840." Here am.
Dec. IA, 1861" Some joker has read
the inscription and added wilma pen
Gil, Late, as usual"
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
Flat Terms.

"Five hundred dollars for my vote"
snorted the crooked legislator. "Sir!
how dare you offer me this gross in
sui? 2"
Pardon me-" replied the lobbyist,
who knew his man; "this offer is not
gross, but positively "-Philadel-
phia Press.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27

For luncheon she eats slice of
bread and drinks milk, which she
gets either from a goat or COW, ac-
cording to circumstances.
Should any of her charges stray
afar \she blows her horn to call it
back At sundown she conducts her
herd homeward, where the COWS and
goats are MIXED and then housed for
the night.
Picturesque is the dress of these
daughters of Dalecarlia-a blue skirt
with a dark bodice and gayly
striped apron. The dress is short
and the stockings, Of which they are
very vain, are embroidered in glow
ing colors. Smart caps of black and
red complete the costume.
These girls are as good as they are
industrious, and are of great help to
their parents, churning butter, max
ing cheese and helping in the general
work of the farm.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
CURE YOUR KIDNEYS.

when tlie Back Aches and Bladder
Troubles Set In, Get at the Cause.
Don't make the mistake of believing
backache and bladder ills to be local
ailments. Get at the cause and cure
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
His Good Point.

Binks-"You don't seem to take to
my little boy. He has some mighty
fine points"
Spinks-.Yes, there's one thing about
him that any father should be thankful
for"
Binks-"Ah! Thought you'd ac-
knowledge it. What is it?''
Spinks-"He's not twin."-Cleve-
land Leader.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
Not Worrying.

Pallid Sufferer-"Does pulling front
tooth like this one of mine hurt
much?"
Husky Dentist-"Not a bit! never
sprained my arm over anything but
a molar."-NeW York Press.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27

Women are tore truthful than
men, but occasionally you meet
woman who says she doesn't want to
get married.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
Good for Face Value.

It has just come to light that q $50
confederate bill has been circulating
freely among the members of the Pol
ish colony at Turner'S Falls.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
The Dollar sign.

Have you ever wondered why this
S is used for the dollar mark?
The following probable explanation
has been given:
In the old days some of the Ameri-
can colonies used certain Spanish
coins for money. Among these was
one called a dollar, which vas equal
to eight reals, a real beinga small
Spanish coin.
This dollar was known as a "piece
Of eight"
In making out accounts there was
apt to be confusion in distinguishing
between dollars and reals, SO when
they wished to represent dollars, or
pieces of eight" they made the fig
ure eight and drew two lines through
it, like our present dollar sign ($), in
order that it might not be mistaken
for a figure. The figures placed af-
ter this Cancelled eight were then
known to be dollars; and the reals
were distinguished by placing a pc
riod in front of the figures, just as
we divide dollars and cents nowadays.
~~.-.~S-.~~~~~-..~.~.-.-
CODE DIAL.
equal parts, writing in each section
thus made letter of the alphabet
but not in regular order. Be sure
that you use every letter, but only one
time each.
Fasten the center of the cardboard
disk to the center of the original card
by means of a paper clamp or a pin
so that the disk may be moved around
at will. This completes the dial, and
each correspondent must have one
with the letters arranged in the same
way.
When you begin to write you must
Elk" your dial, and at the beginning
Of your note write any two letters that
come together in the two circles. This
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27

FITS permar emily cured. Motifs or nervous
ness after first days use OF DR.. Kline's Great
NeryeRestorer, $2tralbottle and treatise free
DR. Il. ii. KLINE, Ltd. ,93l Arch ST., Phila., Pa.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27

Piso's Cure is the best medicinewe ever use:is
ior all affections Of throat and lungs.-WM.
.. ENDsLEY, Vanburen, Ind. Feb. 10. 1909.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27

Santo Domingo Is said to be Spanish for
Holy Sunday
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27

Fortv-fve thousand sovereigns pass
through the Bank Of England every day.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27

The Effect of Warm Days and Cool Nights.
A leading physician writes that he has no.
ticed warm days and cool nights always af-
feet the bowels, and suggests some pre-
ventative remedy. DIR. Biggers' Huckle-
berry Cordial is the only one that can be
absolutely relied upon. 1t never tails to
cure.
Sold by all Druggists, 25 and SOC bottle.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27

New Zealand is distinctly an agricultural
and dairying colony.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
A Misunderstanding,

"John," said Mrs. Oldham, "this is
Mae Summergaps intended"
do tellr' exclaimed the old man..
"Glad to know We, Mr.. Legion"
Pardon me, but my name is Browne,
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27

Argentina has millions more sheep than
the United States has.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27

The average depth of the Atlantic is es-
timated to be about 10000 feet.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for children
teethinS, soften the gums, reduces infiamma-
ton ,allays pain cures wind collie, ,25c "a bottle.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27

Itch cured in 80 minutes by Woolfords
Sanitary Lotion. Never Fails Sold By all
druggists, 81. Mail orders promptly filled
by DIR. e. Detchon. Charlottesville. Ind.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
BABY'S AWFUL ECZEMA

Lose Her Ear-Healed without q a
Blemish-Mother Thanks Cuticura.
My little girl had eczema very bad
when she was ten months old. thought
she would lose her right ear. 1t had
turned black, and her face was like piece
of raw meat, and very sore. 1t would
bleed when l washed her. and l had to
keep cloths on it day and night There
was not clear s. pot on her face when be-
gan using Cuticbra Soap and Ointment,
and now it is completely healed, without
scar or blemish, Which is more than l had
hoped for. (Signed) Mrs. Rose Ether, 29l
Eckford St., Brooklyn, N. Y"
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
Cattle Girls.

Life in all it's primitiveness is to
be found in Scandinavia, but in no
part, perhaps, is it more simple than
in Dalecarlia. The pastures there are
nsequ erft Ell 81
cattle is the chief industry.
The girls of the farm take care of
the cows, sheep and goats, leading
them to the pastures early in the
morning, guiding them by voice or
horn to spots where the grass grows
richest. At her girdle she carries
bag Of salt, which she dispenses
among the herd, every one of which
answers to it's name when called.
The cattle girl is Industrious, and
as she leads her flock she knits at a
stocking, singing as she walks.
When she reaches a good grazing
ground she seats herself on a stump
or stone and knits away until sunset.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27

"Why, she told me her beau's name
wuz Legion" n."-Philadelphia Press.
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27

Most boys and some girls like to
have a secret code by which they can
communicate. The magic dial is the
best thing Of the kind, because it
can be changed every time it is used,
and no one can read the messages
without having dial like it.
The dial is easily made. Cut piece
o. cardboard about three inches
square, and with a compass draw on
it a double circle. The outer circle
should touch the four square edges
Of the card, and the inner one should
be drawn so that there may be a
space of quarter Of an inch between
the two.
Divide the space between the cir
The Brandon news., 1905-04-27
The Effect of warm Days and Cool Nights.

The Peruvian railways have all been con-
solidated.