The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1905-08-18

Z SAh-0 lay tNl anu tire hahtNs bNs
! perhaps YOU We're about go say that YOU
don't know poor Dicky?"
Il was
You shall know him though II was
TO Introduce him and some other dear
people-to You that called
You see, she said. showing her daz.
cling teeth, 1--WE are all SO poor nova
days, aren't We There's Jerry Hars.
ms ana little Kitty Mackney He,
losses at bridge"
Billy stirred resilessly on the very
uncomfortable chair 10 which he had
been So unceremoniously condemned
What I thought was this" she went
on breezily II thought il such an
awful pity that poor Dicky or Jerry
wasn't Harold Farsyde.
May | request You. madam"
ITO come 20 business? or course
Well what have in my mind is o
schcme-the most perfect scheme mag
inable-for rendering people appropri-
ate. We might form a company. and
call it The Impersonators. Limited.
Il think hardly follow YOU
1T is quite simple really MY idea
is to make poets look like poets. To
give an artistic tout ensemble to art
lists Lecturers should look profound
all forehead and eyebrows and Jaw
and not as if they We're only interested
in some small. suburban chambers
shop Positively. you know these
clever people injure their own reputa.
tions by mingling with their fellow
creatures. You literary agents ought
not 10 allow your authors 10 appear in
public they damage their own sales
| am sure they do. And painters are
always so in need Of decoration them
selves that you cannot possibly believe
in their genius And as for your reputed
wits. have listened TO more epierams
az mothers meeting ia one short half
hour tnan ever I heard at a fashionable
gathering OF celebrities
you must have had some most m
fortunate experiences
Not unusually unfortunate. I fancy
other people quite agree with me
was talking % 1876 But as YOU 50
courteously do not SAVIOUR time Is
valuable and am by way Of becoming
a nuisance | will hurry on. then. 70
my remedy Why. Mr. Boswell. should
all these famous people ever appear in
public az all?"
Why"
Yes Would il not be better for all
concerned IL they were 10 employ other
people to impersonate them9 There are
plenty of nice young men who would
look far more like the authors Of great
works than the real authors do. And
many Of them would be only too glad
TO earn a few guineas by wearing the
mantles OF the great at receptions and
balls and dinner parties and afternoon
teas. They would am sure. stimulate
sales enormously. instead OF retarding
them
You forget madam. that the person
alities OF most Of our famous people are
already well known 10 the public One
moment How would it be possible %
introduce an altogether unknown per
son as the author Of shall we say M.
Farsyde's book either To a hostess Ok
the casual reader? Mr. Farsydes po-.
trait has appeared in"
And You said you were a cynic," she
sighed
Pardon me. said Billy. 1T was you
who said that
Anyhow" she rejoined. you ought
TO know that the memory Of the common
herd is the most short-lived thing in
the world And then there are always
new men and women coming along
They. at least"
Il have not quite done. How. for
instance. could hint TO my best author
that he's not altogether handsome.
How could I point out to one OF ms
artists or poets that he was essential.
not picturesque -that his wild hair re.
sembled rather the stuffing out OF
cheap sofa cushion than ambrosial
locks? II could not be done. my dear
madam The thing is not feasible
And my brilliant wits What in the
name Of all that is improbable. would
they do 20 me If told them. no matter
how delicately. that their funniments
were not funny? And then. my lectur-
erers Imagine their wrath at being
compared 10 small suburban shopmenl"
Il didn't think the lady faltered.
and that il not the worst OF II.
either" proceeded Billy. ruthlessly.
How am / 10 advise them to change
their tailor or their dressmaker. their
halter or milliner, without laying my
self open 10 the suspicion OF taking com.
missions from tradesmen? And then.
you know. these absurd people are proud
of their houses and their back gardens
They plume themselves on their knowl-
edge of horses and dogs. And. above
all how is it conceivable that should
criticise their wives adversely. and. in
the last dread resort, their children.
without provoking them 10 reprisals
hat might even be OF a sanguinary sort?
No madam. Your idea has points. adj
nit. and. for some reasons wish tina,
it could be put into practice. But so
long as life Is ordered as IL is at pres
ent. even the wisest and most inspired