The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1905-01-20

$50 Mr.. and Mrs. Jones have quar-
relied? Why doesn't she make up?"
she does, dreadfully. That's why
they quarrelled. Judge.
ooh, no! l know what's the matter
with you. You're seasick" The Girl
I'm not seasick at all, Bobby Brown.
I've felt like this en- land lots of
times. Puck.
Wife (quoting)-A mans works fin
ished with the setting sun; woman's
work is never done. Husband (brute)
quite right, my dear. I've often re-
marked the omission,-Punch.
Gaggsby-Jones is very wealthy, but
he says his life is full of trials"
Waggsby-"Yes, that's what makes
him wealthy" How so?" Hes
lawyer. Cincinnati Commercial Trib-
ue
Blinks-What did you say to your
wife when you got home late last
night? Jinks-My Dear. Binks-Is
that all? Jinks-Yes. She began talk
ing then.-Cincinnat Commercial Trib-
une.
Very WELL sir" said Dr. Quack,
after his quarrel with the undertaken,
III make you sorry for this!" What
are you going to do?" asked the un-
dertaker, retire from practice?"-
Philadelphia Press.
Wife (who has been away)-You
must have liked that breakfast food,
James dear. There isn't single box
left. James-Yes, darling. 1t was
great (sotto voice. to start the fire
with, NOTWITHSTANDING.
Barber-Did Weaver give you any
security for the money he borrowed of
you? Draper-No; he said it would be
secure enough in his possession. Bar
ber-Come to think about it, | guess
it will be.-Boston Transcript.
Wife-Do you believe that marriage
is lottery? Husband-No, don't.
Wife-Why not? Observation-Disclosures
when man draws blank in a lottery
he can tear it up and take another
chance.-Chicago Daily News.
He's writing a novel" Il suppose
he was out of his mind?" "He is and
he thought it would be more success.
full if he wrote while in that condition.
It's to be of the regular popular order,
you now."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Bertha-Ycu don't mean to say you
have refused Frederick" Edith
had to. He told me he had never done
anything he was ashamed Of. | never
i,,l~ Of oh, ooIo
man, you know."-Boston Transcript.
Say old man, want to sell you a
ticket for our social clubs private
theatricals." mot me. l haven't
time to so to those things. Il"
Nobody asked you to go. merely
want to sell you a ticket. "-Philadel-
phia Press.
"a public official is the servant of
the people," said Senator Sorghum.
Eyes" answered Miss Cayenne; and
sometimes he's the kind of servant
that carries a market basket every
time she goes home from her place of
employment. Washington Star.
"See here, old man, what in thunder
did you mean by advising my daugh-
ter to go abroad to study music? She's
no phenomenon, and | can't afforA it.
You know all that" But we're ON
the same flat aren't we? know when
I've had enough. Detroit Free Press.
She-Did you send verses to the girl
you we're engaged to? He-Yes; that
was the whole trouble. l see, she
didn't like them? On the contrary,
she did like them. But she discovered
that another fellow wrote em, and
she married the other fellow-Yon-
kers Statesman.
so you don't care for pcetry?"
.No," said the eminent inventor.
"Only the other day | heard young
woman singing had | the wings of a
dove. Now the wings of a dove would
be wholly insufficient in atmospheric
resistance for any practical purpose
whatever. What she really wants is
a tetrahedral kite. "-Washington Star.