The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-25
PILGRIM JOE.
Joy and Sorrow Attend Him ON His
ss Pilgrimage.


The fact that they tried to resurrect
man hung in Texas the other week
with my Pilgrim Pain Alleyiator and
failed of success should not prejudice
the public against it. 1t will do all
that can be expected of mortal medicine
and little more, but it cannot restore
the dead.
Take it for all kinds of pains ana
aches
Take: it when your another-in-law has
come torun the house and worked
you out of it.
Take it when ambishuns is gone and
hope shattered.
Take it when you have loved and lost
and no longer believe in womankind.
Take it in cold weather to warm you
up, and in warm weather to cool you!
Take it when the world is smilin' and:
gay, and take it when your COW has
jest died of the hoiler-horn and you
have got to eat your puddin' without
milk.
Take it first and last and all the time
under all circumstances. but take it
here on earth before you die.
was maxim my gentle way lords
the enterprisin' town of Yaller Jack
when l came across human critter
seated by the roadside with tears in
his eyes and sorrer gnawin' at his heart
and follerin' the goodness of my heart
1 stopped my outfit and said:
6SlIef mortal, why TINS SdUI1SSSs.
Hast the huckleberry season passed
without profit to thee ~
ALAS, the blow has fel1i' he answer
ed as he wept some more.
And what was the blow?''
MY wife has scooted and gone. She
was sleepin. the sleep of innercence' by
my side at midnight last night, but
when / awoke this mornin' she was
no longer to be found. She has can
tered off and left me to die of a broken
heart
s.eTis the Oklahoma way, felier-
mortal and you must not complain.
Away yander down the crossroads me-
thinks see a woman sittiff on a stone.
I'll drive down and have a talk with
her Meanwhile, sip of this Alleviator
and cheer up your droopin' speeritsS
| When 1 drawed nigh the female /
saw that she was also sorrerin' and
detected, and when 1 inquired as to
| the cause she replied:
my old man has scooted and I'm
left alone in this sad world"
What started him OFF,"
''Nothin tall. We had a leetle dis
pute and / bent the small of his back
across the edge of the table-that's
and will he come not. back p"
'NeveR. agin. He will no longer be
my oak and femme Irvine about him.
Hast any kind of cold pizen in thy out
fit. that l may. take a dose and get
shet of this sadness?"
"Try this Pain Alleviator first,
ma am. 1t cheers but does not ine-
| briate. 1t soothes without maxim the
hair curl. 1t brings hopes and new
resolves and lifts the heels off the
! ground
She imbibed almost half the con
| tents Of a bottle. and in five minutes
her tears had ceased to fall and she
was smilin'.
WHATS the next step?" she asks as
she gets up and gives little skirt
dance.
Get up here and drive back with
/ me. You have lost a man but L found
a better one for you"
do you mean it. Stranger"
us he signin' to marry agin' ?"
He will be Blythe time we get back
We found the man. on his feet and
darcin' about, and He welcomed the fe-
male with a smile-ef anticipashun
| When it became known to them that
ones wife had scooted and the others
husband had sloped off they looked al
each other and grinned.
Shall it beg" says |.
| I'm wlllin',y save the man.
/ Som L. says the woman
Then jine hands. Whosoever have
hitched together let no human crittel
try to put asunder. Now go and BIZ
happy
and their confidence in humanity com
/ pletely restored, and I watched then
/ with a full heart as they departed.
had no legal right to marry EN-, bu
under the circumstances 1 acted as
thought for the best. In buildin' up {
new and great commonwealth in thu
great west you can't allus pause and
look around for a preacher to hitch tw,
fond hearts together.
Two miles further on come across
a crowd of people in grove and stop
ped to see what was goin' on and il
hopes to make a sale of few bottles
of the Alleviator. soon discoyeret
that the crowd was divided into severa