The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1905-03-31
TALES AND ENDS.

The condition of the roads caused some moving
farmers to find general breaking up in China.
Even foot ball club can now give remnants.
Miss salie shimps of Hancocks Bridge. New
Jersey, probably the only womani in the State who
drives wagon over milk route recently missed
the first day in ten years. At last she had to take
water.
Many get beyond hope when they have no hope
for the beyond.
The young man born with silver spoon in his
mouth, nine times out of ten turns out to be a
gilded fool.
To adorn the hats of feather wearing women
of London, a dealer in that city has had shipped
to him from India, half million of hnmming-
bird skins. He'll make some woman hum when
he skins her purse.
The conscience Of the Russians seems to be
Japaned.
This is one time in the life of moving bachelor
farmer that makes him look for help mate.
Little dropsof syrup,
Little grains in pills,
Cure that mighty cough,
And other kinds of ills.
Within radius of one and half miles of
South Seville. New Jersey there are % men at the
age OF 70 years. We presume that Prof. Osler has
never visited that locality.
When family has set out. the purse some
times gets set back.
one hind leg.
The farmer packed down for the winter and
nowIpacked up for the spring fitting.
All is.not oysters that fritter
The winter has been so long and severe that we
are all jubilent with spring fever.
The press room of the Oil City Derrick, Pa.
was recently flooded by the high water from OIL
Creek and the Alleganey River. It's contem-
porary, The Blizzard, came to the rescue, and
gave them the use of their press. It's poor
Blizzard that couldn't raise Derrick, even if it
didn't go before the food.
Physicians claim that celery is great brain
food. Pity the poor fellows havn't brains enough
to raise it.
lisa good thing that old mother earth don't
wait till thisseason of the year to move
Smokeless stoves are being demonstrated in
London. That's nothing, we have hundreds Of
poor who were found with fireless stove this
winter.
Says Philadelphia paper "Miss Elizabeth
Spelisy, of Bridgeport, New Jersey, who took
poison Jew weeks ago is out OF danger. She
must have had quite Spell.
A small girl in Richmond, Va. had recently,
successfully grated the skin of an s.day-old pig
to her limbs which were fearfully burned. Now
t ne poor girl will be hog the rest of her days.
Twelve rats were killed by one shot by Howard
II. Loose, of Berks county Pa. Now wasn't that
mice?
sTHE BURNING OF ROME UP TO DATE"
EXTRACTS from an ancient newspaper, but not
favored.)
NATURAL GAS.
Rome mot Ga) A. D. a.
Numbered among the dead) :.
Volume (of smokey
No advertisements refused lat any rate)
Printed as often as the Scribe takes the notion.
All communications (of the dead) rejected I'M
less accompanied by jug spirits. to insure its
safety return.
Remittance can be maid through the regular
males.
Price sheke copy. For sale by rubber
necks everywhere.
md Rome is burning.
After the alarm was given and the engines drew
up to the fire plugs, the iremen found every plug
cold as an iceberg and covered nicely with wall
paper. And upon investigation 1t was discovered
that the night before, Nero had ordered out all
the paper hangers. with instructions that frieze
was to be placed around each plug
While thousands were making their exit from
the city in trolley cars. we noticed Carrie Nation
rtlnniuU Qlou0 side "a trap oar in
hand an ak. As car went speedily by a voice
from window cried Carrie. why don't you
jump on the CARP and an answer from Carrie
breathlessy came, PPM going to try and hack
it Z"
Nero was sitting on the hotel porch playing his
base fiddle. He wore gulf suit of watered silk
and a cap made of cancelled bank checks. His
pants were short as he was always complaining OF
weak lungs His feet were encased in a pair OF
pointed sandals. secured by large bow of pink
ribbon.
While playing with all his might and mnsing to
himself he caught the glimpse of u quickly
moving figure. and turning his head, he saw
beautiful women, fleeing from the city in her
bare feet. Her golden hair was floating in the
wind and through her gauzy gown could be seen
her frail form. poem of motion, Swallowed now
and then by pleats in her flowing silken gown.
Her face was as one of an angel, eyes of diamonds
teeth of pearls lips OF cherries. cheeks OF roses
and the neck of swan. And as Nero quickly
caught the passing glimpse. the fiddle fell from
his hands, breaking in twain on the stone floor
and cried aloud. to his guards and so diers.
stationed around him, Cesar"
Notwithstanding the great fire we won't
publish another edition till next week.
ALLEN PAYNE
West Nottingham Notes.
Mr.. and Mrs. Geo. H. Thompson wish
to publicly thank their many friends of