The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1905-04-30

| influence of the speech. / was in
trouble. He had used up all my pro-
posed arguments; in fact had about
said everything that could be said;
and, leaving off argument, he was
then exhorting, and l knew my turn
would come soon.
His exhortation was a melting one.
and, / noticed that nearly everybody
was using a pocket handkerchief.
Just before he came to a close,
realizing that he had captured the au-
dience, and being we'll aware he had
not left me even beginning space, he
turned to me, and expressed the hope
that I would be able to relieve the
situation by more nearly coming up to
! the full expectation of the large and
| Intelligent audience, than he had done.
/ thought that was cruel of him; for
| [ was sure he didn't think / could re
! lieve the situation" by making a bet
ter speech than he had just finished,
! and it occurred to me that there was,
couched in that remark, bit of ego
tism and right smart bit of self
complacency, over the fact that he
had made a great speech.
He sat down amid applause and
wiped off the perspiration; the choir
began to sing, and l to think. l was
in a tight place. l knew l could not
| begin where he closed. He left the
audience in tears, but l couldn't think
of anything to say that would in
crease the weeping; and, to get up
and tell an anecdote would look like
sacrilege. And, as already said, he
had exhausted argument and used up
all the statistics so, there | was, and
the choir had only one more stanza
TO sing. If any of my readers were
ever in such a condition they can
imagine how rapidly thought. Not
until the master of ceremonies had
arisen to announce me, did an idea
occur to me, that seemed at all suit
able for a beginning. He went on to
say considerable about me, and.
among other things he minated that
the audience might expect a humor-
Gus as we'll as eloquent speech; that l
was an old stager, and so forth, and
he esteemed it rare privilege the
audience would enjoy when | stood
before them.
The audience cheered Justify as /
arose; (they couldn't help it. after
such an Introductory, and this is the
way / began:
zone morning, down in North Caro-
lima, Mr.. Jones and family had just
seated themselves at the breakfast
table. The family consisted OF Mr..
Jones, Mrs. Jones and Johnny a son,
about ten years of age. AS there were
only three in the family the table
was never moved from the wall; and,
being a small table. only three could
well sit around it; the wife at the
coffee pot end, the husband at the
other end and Johnny on the side. AS
already stated, the family were at the
table; grace had been said, the cof-
fee poured out and handed around
each plate had been helped, and
Johnny had even gone so far as to
butter a biscuit, when 10. the door
was darkened and there stood John
Smith. Not the original John, of Po-
cahontas notoriety, but Tar Heel
john whose ancestors were tar
tars, who sailed on Tar river, when not
burning tar-kilns, bought their provi-
sions at Tarboro but hauled their tar
to Tar-Landng.
Yes, John stood in the doorway,
and his appearance was no more sud
der than unWelcome, because John
belonged to that class of men who
never feel like eating; and Mr.. Jones
and family had a mortal dread of him.
as well as of all others, like him, who
never have any appetite.
Come in Mr. Smith, said Mr..
Jones. and have some breakfast
No. l thank you, Mr.. Jones; I
don't feel like ] could eat a mouthful.
I'm feeling mighty bad this morning
didn't sleep a wink last night, felt SO
bad; and l hain't got bit of appetite
my stomachs all out o. fix
You can drink cup of coffee,
said Mrs. Jones, and l reckon you'd
feel better. Jump up, Johnny. my
SON. addressing her boy, and let Mr.
Smith have that seat
Johnny reluctantly arose taxing
his buttered biscuit in his hands. but
left the already helped plate and cup
nf af &c ,11a II.
stand at his mothers back to watch
operations Mr.. Smith continued to
declare he was feeling mighty orwell
and had no appetite; but, he soon de-
voured two biscuits, drank Johnny's
cup of coffee, cleaned up his plate
and began on second cup of coffee
and his third biscuit, when Johnny be-
gan to get alarmed and called his
mothers attention to the way things
were going, by giving her a gentle
pinch on the shoulder, to which she
paid no attention. Five biscuits had
disappeared and three cups of coffee
been swallowed, and Johnny saw the
cup going back for another filling, and
Mr.. Smith reaching for his sixth bis
cult. He could stand it no longer,
but blurted out, about half crying as
he thought he was going to lose his
breakfast:
"'If a man as is sick, and amt
hongry, and amt got no appetite, and
don't feel like eating, can eat six bis
cults and drink four cups of coffee,
I'd like to know how much he could
eat if he was well and hungry and
felt like eatin.'
The moral of this little story" l
said, lis, if a man who is no temper
ance speaker, and don't feel hike
speaking, can speak an hour as well
AS my brother has spoken to you to-
night, what may we not expect of him
when he gets to be a temperance
speaker and feels like speaking?"
The audience enjoyed the story and
cheered it. because, while it was COM
plimentary to the first speaker. it was,
also, relief from the pathetic strain
which had made them cry. To test
which, | said:
You must not expect me to be as
solemn as the brother who has pre-
coded me. After the rain we Ike to
see the sun come out. After tears
we like to see smiles. l can't under
take to begin the soiemnity aud tear
fulness whore the brother left off.
think a little sunshine will make us
feel good, and q few hearty laughs