The news & observer., 1905-08-06
Mirandy on the Good
Old Summer Time----

Copyright by the American Journal
EXaminer.)
"Defe's one thing" observed Mi
randy, philOsophically dat is dat L
is glad Of an dat is dat the Recording
Angel knocks off work an shuts up
shop in de summer time, Gaze if he
didn't de mos of us would have II
through ticket for a hotter place dan
dis Yassum, we sho'ly would.
Anyway you looks at it dere's one
mighty funny thoing bout de summer
time, anyway, AN dat is dat de ther
mometer goes up, folkes morals go
down. an dey does things on de
or turnin' a har' dat it would jest
plumb scandalize um to even think
bout doing Chris'mus!
"Yassum, hit pears lax de hot
weather kinder meltS down yO' re-
igion AN gives de ole Boy chanst.
an de fus news you knows yOuSe sag
asiated out of de straight and narrer
path, an is clippin' hit at u tWo-forty
gait down the broad road of sin an
destruction. Yassum, dat you is. |
| knows, kaze | jeS been dare.
'Yassum, here l is, a Mother in Is
raeP Whut is de President of de
Daughters of Zion, an is set in lie
amen corner at church, an WraStled
Wid de mou'ners fer nigh on to thutty
y l.
married woman wild a house full Of
chillen, an temperance principles, AN
odder drawbacks to haVin good
zine, and in the winter time,
when Ike takes me to de show,
an one Of desc neah husies comes out
to do q song an dance in Il dress dat
amt nuthin' but a ruftle around de
waist an scarcely dat Use dat frus-
trated dat l shuts my eyes an holds
nv ND befO' IkG'S face.
"Yassum, it shO' am shocking to me,
an if ennybody would come along
bout dat time an prophecy dat in les
sen six months dis two hundred
pounds of Christian wife an mother
would be a wandering down de sea-
shore in a frock dat wont no bigger
dan a postage stamp, 1 sho' would
take de skillet to 'um. Yassum. dey
sho' would wish dey'd carried a acci-
dent policy wild 'um if dey said dat
to me- yet dats exactly de kinder
fOOlishness dat de summer time got
me into doing last week.
"Yassum, an dat amt ALL When
/ heahS some men dat was a stand
ing on de beach say dat | is a fine
fgger of a woman, instead of call
ing fer de perlice, lax / would in de
winter, | deS parades myself by 'um
one mo- time. Me, dat spends de cold
weather a paching Ike's breches an
washin' an scrubbing an cookin' to
keep him and de chillen comfortable,
an dat is dat down on Irritation dat
l had May Jane Jones ch'uched for
making eyes at Ike!
"An' what you think | done wild my
w. c. Il. u. badge? 1 put it way, Gaze
l knoWed l was gWine to need it next
winter when | was Speechifyin' to de
sinners about de errors of deir ways
in lookin on de wine when it is red,
r1of Il H.
about wild emmy mo drink tag on me.
Nawm, dat l didn't; furdermo', L
Specks the rest of de temperance brig
ade mus a done de same way, Gaze
eff dere was any white ribbons flutter-
ing around ! didn't see um.
Oats huccome when | meets UP
wild Bro. Ben, what is de beacon in
my church, whut takes up de collection
an leads de prar meeting, dat de
fust thing dat he an me knows Wese
got dat O-be-jOy-ful feelin' an was
a singing hymn chunes.
isis Mrandy," says Brer Ben, !
Use q temperance man, as you knows. |
an de stand dat you has taken against |
de Demon Rum is mighty nigh |
squashed de head of de monster, but |
bein' as how de day is hot, an dat
Saint Paul recommended a little wine |
fer de stomach's sake, / axes you TO !
jine me in a glass of beer"
'Yessum, Brer Ben sho' did say |
dem .ve'y words an 1 sponded dat |
Use always heerd dat beeer is mighty |
fine to ward off a sunstroke, an wild |
nuder and den annuder, an den J. |
dat we had one beer. an den an |
kinder lost count, and den l begun
de winter time you amt got no thirst, |
bout de way l done rake Ike over de
Goals for miiNin' hisself up wild a
little tangle foot.
"HoWsomever, de next day, when I
walked up wild a head dat felt bout
de size of q barrel, an wild a dark
brown taste in my mouf l was strong
i'm de prohibition cause once mo-, and
when | happened up wild Brer Ben
agin | AK him how it is dat me an