The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-09-23
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Q ODD
Short Storiss

At the closing exercises of a Svra-
cuse school, a little girl was asked:
Who is the head of our government
Mr.. Roosevelt" she replied, promptly.
THAT Is right" said the teacher. but
what is his official title?" "Teddvp'
responded the little miss, proudly.
During President Harriman's visit
TO Cheyenne, Frank Jones, the young
son OF Chief Clerk D. A. Jones, Of the
master-mechanic's office, was sent to
his private car with telegram. Mr..
Hartman, attracted by the lads bright
demeanor, said: what do you dor
I'm one Z tn directors Z tn Union
Pacific" "Whatw exclaimed Mr.. Har-
riman. Yep, direc' envelopes over T.
tn master-mechanic's Office" was the
laconic reply.
Apropos of the recent examination,
season at Oxford, a particularly good
story Of Oscar Wilde is being told. At
bis viva vocetrial at Magdalen, Wilde
was asked to translate a page or two
Of the New Testament, which the ex-
aminer suspected would puzzle him.
Not 80, however, for the future author
opened the book and apparently with
out any difficulty began to translate
the passage about st. Peter walking
on the waters. THAT will do nicely"
said the examiner, after a verse or two
, had been beautifully rendered. But
. Wilde raised deprecating finger
Hush" he said. II wish to see II the
gntleman is drowned"
As the liner cleared the heads and
: the heavy swell Of the open Atlantic
became noticeable, dinner was served
The twenty-six places at the captain,
table were filed, and as the soup ap
peared, the captain addressed his ia
BILE companions. II trust that all TWEEN
!. ty-flve Of you will have a pleasan
= trip" he said. "and that this little as
= semblage of twenty-four will reacl
a port much benefited by the voyage.
= look upon these twenty-five smiling
% faces as a father upon his family, 70
. l am responsible for the lives Of thi
:. group Of nineteen. hope all fourteen
10 Of you will join me later In drinking
D. to merry trip. I believe, we seve
r fellow-passengers are admirably suite
at to each other, and applaud the judl
at ment which chose from the passenger
list these three persons for my tabl,
ID You and l, my dear sir, are" TIL
re- captain chuckled. Here, steward
= bring on my fish and clear away thes
dishes"
a The late Secretary Of State job
"A Hay was fond OF telling a story Of
"a king who once upon a time fell mi
a state of deep melancholia. Court phi,
a sicians could do nothing for him, an
"a were in despair, when a certain vel
"a wise man bethoughr himself Of Il
"a well-known cure Of sleeping in Il
"a shirt OF a perfectly happy man ov'
"a night. So couriers were dispatched e
"a erywhere In search Of the shirt Of
81 perfectly happy man. One by oil
81 they returned from their fruitle
"a search throughout the vast kingdoI
"a At last only one courier remained oil
"a and he, too, began to despair Of hndii
u the shirt OF perfectly happy man.
T. was Just about twilight, and he W
riding over a village green, when
4 was attracted by the careless Taught
of a disreputable beggar who W
stretched full length upon the swsr
= Are you a perfectly happy manr
manded the courier, refining In
: horse. II am" said the beggar.
thousand crowns for the loan Of 20
. 'eo, shirt" But 1 haven't any," repll
tba the beggar.