Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1905-11-09
DAILY SHORT STORY
a MATRIMONIAL SAND BAR.

Mary Jones, spinster. who came over
and took charge of things for three or
| four days. She had known the deacon
and his wife for several years. and ii
was reported that when the wife found
| herself dying she said to Mary:
Il am going to that better land. l
am glad on my own account that am
| going. but sorry on Samuers. He will
| he left all alone. and how he will get
his shirts washed. his cooking done and
/ his bed made l don't know. You must
he kind to him. Mary. and n year or
50 after L am gone should he ask you
| should he ask YOU
| But she got no further. After the
! funeral and as the weeks went by
some folks interpreted this to mean
that Miss Jones was to marry the dea-
| con if he asked her and others that she
was only to oversee his house.
| For ten months the deacon himself
! gave Ao sign of how he personally in
/ terpreted it. Then it was noticed that
he began TO walk home with Mary
! from church and prayer meeting and
pay her other little attentions. She
was living with n brother who was
married. and by and by the deacon be-
came n frequent caller. When full
year had gone by Uncle Joe Tracy. who
was known to lie n pillar of goodness
as we'll as the biggest gossip i'll the
country. stopped the deacon on the viii
iaGe street one day to say:
Look a-here, Samuel. I'm a-hearin'
that you are sorter shinin' up to Mary
Jones"
well. it's my business if am was
the blunt reply.
$50 it is. Samuel-so it is. but don't
you make no mistake on Mary Jones.
She lived with us for four years when
she was Il gal. and I'm tellin' you she's
got worse temper than sore footed
eat
Il hahn I seen no signs OF IL.
And mebbe you won't till you are
married. but it's there. just the same
Shes eXpectin' to marry you, and she's
as soft and smooth as 'lasses, but
when you are married it will he a diff
ferent thing. She'll let her temper
loose and make your hair stand up
Il don't believe Il word of it, and /
don't thank We for your gossip" OBJ
served the deacon as he broke away.
One moonlight night Il week after his
talk with Uncle Joe the deacon invited
the SpinSter out for Il row on the river.
1t wasn't much of river nor much Of
Il boat. ana the deacon wasn't much of
Il hand ut the oars. but ii seemed the
proper thing II do under the roman
tic occasion. The whippoOrwillS We're
singing. the harvest moon blinking and
the weeping willows waving their
plumcS in the soft night air as they set
out. and everything went well for ten
minutes. Then Miss Jones suddenly
discovered that the boat was leaking
and that she had already got one OF her
feet wet. The deacon was sorry, but as
far as lie knew all rOwboatS leaked,
and people who went out i'll them had
10 make the best of ii. lie bent to his
oars To keep time with the Whippoor-
wills, but he hadn't been rowing five
minutes when he fiirted one of them
out Of the water and at the same time
fiirted about Il gallon of the briny over
Mary.
Deacon Bradshaw" She called out
as she rose up.
II am sorry, but couldn't help it."
But you ought to have helped it. 1t
was very clumsy in you. I'm all wet
through. and we must turn back this
minute. l don't believe you know any
thing about n boat"
If you hadn't been bobbing around
it wouldn't have happened
Il wasn't bobbing around. l say i
want to go right back home
The deacon started to pull the boat
around and lost an oar. In trying TO
recover that one he not only came
within an ace of upsetting the boat,
but lost the other.
why don't you jump Out?' shouted
the spinster at him.
Because the water here is over my
head and l can't swim"
Then what are We going to do?
Deacon Bradshaw, you are nothing but
a blunderer,''
Nobody could have done any differ
ent. You were bobbing this way and
that. and
Il wasn't bobbing! You ought TO be
ashamed of yourself 10 try TO lay II on
to me- Amt you going to do any
thing"
The only thing we can do is to wait
for the boat TO drive ashore"
And how long will that beY'
No telling. If you hadn't been talk
ing about the moonlight on the water I
should never have asked you to come
out rowing. ! guess you'll get moon
light enough"
Miss Jones didn't answer this taunt |
She kept getting madden and madden.
but she concealed the fact until the
boat finally grounded on Il sand bar in
midstream. When they had both |
scrambled ashore she found her voice |
She called the deacon names until she |
had ratified off n hundred of them. She !
expressed her pity for the wife dead |
and gone and more pity for the wife to
come She criticised his personal ap-
pearance, his grammar and the shoes |