davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21
SOLON OF ATHENS.
His Definition of the Most Perfect
Form of Government.

His Definition of the Most Perfect
Form of Government.
what is the most perfect form of
government was once prOpounded
at the court of Fernandez, king of Cor
NTH, one of the seven wise men Of
Greece. His six fellows were present,
and of them Bias answered first, CIV
ing as his opinion, Where the laws
have no superior" Thales of Miletus,
the great astronomer, declared, Where
the people are neither too rich nor too
poor
In his turn said Anacharsis, the
Scythian, Where virtue is hOnored
and vice detested." Said Pittacus Of
Mitylene, Where dignities are always
conferred upon the virtuous and never
upon the base" Said Cleobulus
"Where the citizens fear blame more
than punishment Said Chic, the
Spartan, Where the laws are more re-
garded than the orators"
The last to reply was the youngest
but wisest of them all, Scion of Ath-
ems, who said, Where an injury done
to the meanest subject is an insult to
the whole community. London Tele-
graph.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21

Almost every medieval monarch
claimed the whole or part of the
dOminiOns of almost every other and
insisted on inserting his claim in his
list of official titles. In treatises and
all official documents the whole list
was religiously copied, and as it often
happened that the two negotiating
monarchs had some of the same titles
it became usual to insert clause in
the list, non praejudicando, in order to
indicate that, no matter how absurd,
inappropriate or untrue were the titles,
they were understood to be inserted be-
cause they pleased the monarch who
claimed them, that they did not confer
valid claim, and so no harm was
likely to result from their use.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21
An Ingenious scheme.

A story is told of a Chicago girl
whose verses were always declined
with thanks" who hit upon the fol-
lowing unique plan for having them
published. She would send a line Of
verse from one of her poems to the
query column Of some newspaper and
ask from what poem such line came,
the name of the poem and Of the au-
thor. A friend, also rhymester,
would send the querist's own poem to
the paper with the desired informa-
ton, and of course it would appear in
print The querist would do the same
for the friend and so on until between
them they had all their poems" print
ed.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

When an attorney offers to settle
listen.
Some men try to get business by
fighting people.
The successful business man is one
who knows what people will not do.
When man gets discouraged and
quits, the doctor says afterward that
that was just the time when he should
have held on.
When one of the town boys maIries
an out of town girl it creates more
feeling" than when a town girl I'M
ports husband.
When man wants to sharpen a
knife he hunts up milestone. When
a woman wants to sharpen knife she
takes few swipes on a crock.
1t often happens that the woman
who has a reputation far and wide as
judge Of good bargain seems to fall
down when she picks out a husband
Atchison Globe.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21

He was wearing his first pair of
glasses, and at first they afforded great
relief, but at the end of month there
was a retrOgression. Somehow, polish
the lens as he would, tie vision ap-
peared to be weaker. SO he went back
to his oculist and said he thought the
glasses weren't strong enough
The oculist stepped aside for min
ute, then handed his customer what
apparently was another pair. Trying
them drew forth the exclamation:
"Why, these are much better! / can
see now as well as when / first wore
my glasses
Then he was initiated into one of the
little secrets of the trade. The oculist
had merely cleansed each lens with a
little soap and water.-New York Post.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21
Now Little Dorothy
Studies In School

0Y THINK / shall take Muriel out Of
school and teach her myself this
winter" said young mother No. 1.
'"There must be something defective
about the public school system, for she
doesn't know how to read YETI
Young mother No. 2 smiled reminis-
Gently. Il tried that with Dorothy last
year." she said.
with what successr'
well, we got on very well until we
came to double letters There the child
baked, for she couldn't seem to learn
to spell the word without repeating the
letter twice. You mustn't say bell.
bell, Dorothy / insisted. Spell the
word b-e-double L.
FINALLY l succeeded i'll drilling the
doubling process into her head only too
thoroughly, as found one day when |
wanted to show her father how she
had progressed under my tuition. /
pointed to a lesson which began, Up,
up, Mary, the sun is high and told her
to read it. She looked at it for a mo-
ment with a puzzled frown, then she
began confidently:
"'Double up, Mary, the sun is high!'
"At her fathers suggestion she re-
turned to school next day."-New York
Press.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21
He Lost His Nickel.
.i1orind

whats the matter bubY' Queried
the kind hearted old man who saw a
newsboy looking around in front Of the
Union station the other evening as if
in search of a lost article
"I'n git licked when l git home"
SMILED the body in reply.
who'll lick your"
'Me ladder"
"What for?"
"For 'osin' a nickel"
"Sure you lost it around hereT'
"Dead sure, and me fadder won't
take no excuse"
"He won't, eh? Well, we must see
what we can do about it. You appear
to be a very nice boy, and don't want
you to be licked for an accident"
Den you'll gimme de nickel, will
your asked the lad as grin lurked at
the corners Of his mouth.
"I'll do better than that, bub-a heap
better. Here are my spectacles. Put
them on and look around again, and
you may find two nickels instead Of
one. If you do, ! won't ask you to
divide. "-Chicago News.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21
THE ALBATROSS.
Wonderful Flights of This Great
Feathered Wanderer.


Wonderful Flights of This Great
Feathered Wanderer.
OF all the strange creatures seen by
travellers not the least interesting is
the wandering albatross. This great
feathered wanderer, sometimes meas
uring seventeen feet from tip to tip of
his wings, will follow a ship for days
at time. Some travellers and sailors
declare that they have seen particular
bird fly for weeks at time without
resting. The albatross has always
been bird of mystery, and in ancient
times the people believed that these
unwearying sea birds were the COM
panions of the Greek warrior Diomedes,
who were said to have been changed
into birds at the death of their chief.
Though the superstition about the
killing of an albatross bringing bad
luck is only foolish one, it has served
a useful purpose for many years in pre-
venting the slaughter of these beautiful
and gallant birds-the sailors friends
and the landsmen's wonder. Up in
dreary Kamchatka, that outlying part
of Siberia which cuts into the north
Pacific, the natives, never having
heard of the superstition about the
albatross, catch him and eat him, but
his flesh makes such poor food that,
after all, the legend may be said to
hold good, for he is indeed in bad luck
who has to make a meal of it.-Ottawa
Free Press.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21
Tie Land Of Didn't-Mean.ro.

p CAN'T see why it is that when do
Things which / didn't mean to-
u when 1 break
My sisters arm or throw a snow
ball through
A window pane or tear my clos or make
My parents mad some other way
They won't believe me when / say
/ didn't mean 20.
My pencil SO when some one turns their
They'll get punch beside the nose, I'm
told
That I'm little savage and disgrace,
And when schools out 1 have to stay
They don't believe me when 1 say
I didn't mean to.
Once when 1 got pas razor out and tried
To shave my brother and cut through
his ear,
And there was blood all over and he cried
They hammered me to death-or pretty
near!
They never even stopped that day
To let me have chance to say
| didn't mean to.
Last night, when upset the lamp because
I'D clum up on the table and it tipped,
4 ldTuly cOuIu remember Wnere Was
When pa got through with me! Wish
he'd get whipped
The way he laid it on, some day,
Before he had a chance to say
He didn't mean to.
I hope that when I'm dead and get my
wings
And go to be an angel in the sky
They'll not jump on boy for doin' things
He didn't know would happen. When
die
/ don't care where / go if they
Will stop and listen when you say
You didn't mean to-
Chicago Record-Herald
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21
ANIMALS WANDERlNGS.
Rats the Most MISUNDERSTANDING
Race With Death.

The fable Of the country mouse and
the town mouse has a foundation in
fact. Mice occasionally migrate in
large numbers when food grows scarce
and travel considerable distances to
fresh houses. Farmers i'll part Of
Perthshire had good reason TO he
come aware of this fact when a couple
Of years ago vast swarms of mice in
vaded their cornfelds at harvest time
But the mouse only travels when it
has to. The rat, on the contrary, seems
to take yearly outing in very much
the same fashion as do human beings.
Rats are the most migratory creatures
in the world. Whole troops of rats
leave the towns at the end of summer
and spend a month or two in the coun-
try, apparently in order to enjoy the
change of food, which the county af-
fords at that time of the year in the
way of fresh fruit and grain Before
the cold weather sets in they are all
back in their old quarters.
Reindeer migrate with the same regu-
larity as swallows. They move south
when winter sets in, but as soon as
ever the snow begins to melt they
travel steadily north, sometimes for as
much as a thousand miles.
To end holiday by deliberate sui
eide is SO strange phenomenon that
for long time naturalists looked upon
the stories Of tie migration of the lem
mings as an improbable fiction. Yet
the facts are beyond dispute. At ir-
regular intervals these rat-like crea-
lures start out from their homes in the
Businesses of northern Scandinavia in
huge droves, numbering tens of thou
sands, and travel steadily southwark.
Death pursues them in a hundred
forms. Hawks and other birds of prey
hover above them. Foxes, wolves and
man decimate them. Thousands are
drowned in rivers. Yet the rest strug-
gle on until they reach the sea. They
do not stop. They plunge in, swim out
and struggle on until at last their
strength fails and they drown. Not
one ever returns from this journey of
death.-London Answers.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21

There are lots of birds which proph-
esy rain and storm in their actions.
Crows, gulls, wild duck, snipe, plovers,
woodpeckers, cormorants, wild and
tame swans and most of the wading
birds show great restlessness when
stormy weather is approaching. They
fly swiftly and often aimlessly up and
down, futtering from tree to tree and
place to place, and usually scream loud
" and harshly-Nature.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21
Developed Genius.

Lady-Do you think that your in
ventive genius was hereditary or de-
veloped? INVENTOR owe it all to my
dear wife. When we were first married
l used to stay late at the club, and my
wife cross questioned me severely
whenever ! came home late. The ne
cessity of inventing fresh excuses tax
ed me to the utmost, and this faculty
became SO abnormally developed that
as soon SIS l turned it to business ac-
count / made fortune with ease.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21
HARD TO INITIATE.
sounds Beyond the Ability of Our
Vocal Organs.


Vocal Organs.
mat man can initiate perfectly the
Jingle of money! said in a tone of eu-
logy young woman.
We'll, what of that? objected her
companion. "That ought not to be
hard to do"
Try to do it."
The objector, after summoning into
his mind the sound Of jingling money,
tried "R-r-r-tat-tat," he went. "Br-br-
bra-ra-ra. chk- chkk-chk" Then he
smiled apologetically, for he had failed.
Not by the furthest stretch of the i'm
agination could it be said that he had
uttered a sound that resembled mon
ey's jingle in the least degree.
Il knew you couldn't do it, said the
young woman. 1T is amazing how
many simple sounds there are that we
can't initiate, try as we will. There is,
for instance, the sound Of a person
walking, the sound of typewriting
machine in operation, the sound of rum
ming water, the sound of breaking
dish. You can't initiate those COM
monplace noises. and / doubt if any
one in the world can. Our vocal Ca
pacity seems to us large, but it is real
ly limited enough-as limited as that
of many animals and much more linn
tied than that of certain birds. That
is why honor a man who has extend
ed his vocal capacity sufficiently to i'm
itate the pleasant, silvery sound of
moneys jingle. baltimore Herald.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21

II think I'll try filing the tires of
my. automobile with Illuminating gas"
said the amateur chauffeur
Good joke" gurgled his fool friend.
Expect to make it light. Ha, ha!''
Nothing Of the kind" rejoined the
amateur chauffeur. II thought it might
increase the speed Of the machine Just
think how the stuff makes the wheels
Of a gas meter spin around. "-Colum-
bus co. Dispatch.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21
Her Faith.

Little Elsie. was going on railway
Journey When her mother put her to
bed in the sleeping car at night the
child was requested to say her pray
ers as usual
"Oh, what's the use of bothering God
about it tonight?' she demanded. 1.-THE
engineer'll take care of us all right,
won't heY'-New York Times.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21

"Say, that little Frenchman who
came into the saloon the other night
where we were all drinking and asked
for help was the most ungrateful little
wretch in the world. Did you hear
what he called us when he was leav-
ing?"
mo. What?"
"Why, he kept repeating till he got
clear out the door, Tanks, tanks,
'anksv"-New Orleans Times-Demo-
crat.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21
Violated the RuIes.

ASsiStant-Here's an account from
your tailor among this mornings let
tiers. He writes on the back that he
wants a settlement at once Editor
Return it with a printed slip stating
that communications written on both
sides of the paper are unavailable.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21
Independence.

1.-THE American hen is a great bird"
remarked the attache of the agricll-
tural department
Yes answered the sportsman, land
what especially admire about the hen
is that she doesn't need any assistance
or protection from the game laws
Washington Star
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21
Forced to III.

Neighbour hear you are doing your
own work
Mrs. Participates l tried living
the simple life for awhile, and got SO
far sitting around doing nothing that
had to start in working to reduce my
f1eSh.-DetrOit Free Press.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21

Mike (the cop)-Faith, an phwat an
ould fashioned kid thot is! Katy the
nurse)-Shure it is. An no wondher
thot she is, fer some av her ANCESTORS
lived nearly 400 years ago.-Judge.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21

More men die from worry than from
overwork; more stuff themselves to
death than die of starvation; more
break their necks falling down the Gel
lar stairs than climbing mountains
G. II. Lorimer
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21
MISUNDERSTANDING.

Kate-Dolly is wearing Louis XIV.
shoes now.
Belief knew they were pretty big,
but didn't think that they were more
than sevens.-SOmerville Journal.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21
Signs.

Gayboy-I guess my wife expects
callers today. what makes you think
so?" "She began the day by making
the house unfit for any one to live in"
Life.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21
He subsidized.

Husband-Did you ever notice, my
dear that loud talker is generally an
ignorant person? Wife = Well, you
needn't talk so loud. I'm not deaf.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21

"Timmins is absolutely the most won
derful married man know" said Bar
low.
tAs to how?' asked Mullins.
'He calls his wifes mother his man.
ma-in-law Town Topics.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-01-21

His ankles are weary,
He's footsore and lame;
Sensations of woe
Rise ali over his frame.
He is dizzy and faint
With the roar Of the throng-
His wife went out shopping
And took him along.
She is fragile and fair,
He is lusty and tall,
Yet she's blithe as a bird
And enjoying it all.
He says for his tombstone
These words won't be wrong:
my wife went out shopping
And took me along"
Washington Star.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1905-11-17
FATALLY WOUNDS GIRL.
After Shooting Miss Scarborough Rob
ert Webb Ends Existenee.

Birmingham. Ala. Nov. 17.-After
having been closetel In room for an
hour at the house OF negro washer
woman on the South Side. Robert
Webb. employed by the Krebs Lumber
company. shot and fatally wounded
Miss Nora Scarborough. aged twenty
two. and then turned his pistol to his
own breast and put a bullet through
his heart. dying instantly. The wound :
ed woman sprang out Of the door and
ran block. when she dropped from ex :
haustion. due 20 loss OF blood.
The woman at whose house occurred
the shooting. says the man and woman
Tho met there accidentally. quarrelled
about the ownership OF a watch. The
coroner IS Investigating on the theory
that another man might have shot both
parties. but Miss Scarborough, who ie
still alive. but cannot recover declares
that Webb did the shooting. Webb has
family at Pelham. Ala Miss Scar
boroush's home is at SmithfieId. a sub
urb.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1905-11-17
PLANS PERFECTED.
Three Million Bales TO Be Held For
Fifteen Cents Per Pound.

New Orleans. Nov i7.-FoIlowing the
arrival Of President Harvie Jordan. the
Southern Cotton association perfected
plans for the taking of the market OF
100000 bales of cotton by means OF q
series Ct pledges which he farmers Will
sign themselves. stating their name and
address and the amount of cotton they
will thus hold The cotton will not be
sold for less than 10 cents a pound
A representative of the association IS
&c be sent into every one OF the 81
cotton producing counties OF the cottor
belt at once. When the pledges are
signed they will be Gent to the central
office OF the association in Atlanta
President Jordan says that half the
crop has already been sold at an aver.
age of 10 cents. and the spinners must
have all the remainder. He believes
that Is cents for the remaining is q
fair price and II will only average
the SINNERS 12h cents. while they
have based all their calculations on "a
cent cotton.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1905-11-17
AMERICA WILL
NOT ENCOURAGE
Attitude OF American inhabitants
on Isle of Pines
QUITE ANNOYING ONE
1t Is Stated at National Capital an
Attempt to Seeeds From Cuba
Will Receive No Eneour-
ment There.

Washington. Nov. 17.-It has been
can residents of the Isle of Pines were
becoming FESTIVE under Cuban control.
but no intimation has been received in
official circles thta they intended to re-
sort to radical measures to assert what
they believe to be their rights as Amer
lean citizens. The announcement that
at mass meetings OF the residents of
the island delegates were chosen to
come to Washington to antagonize the
treaty pending before the senate for
the formal transfer of the island to the
republic of Cuba was not surprising to
administration officials, but surprise
Is created at the reported erection of
a territorial government on the island
and the selection Of Independent Off
Gals to administer the affairs Of that
government. No advices Indicating
such action has been received officially
and nothing is known Of II except that
which is contained in the press dis
patches.
The statement Is made frankly by
administration officials that the atti-
tude o. residents OF the Isle of Pines
toward the treaty negotiated with Cuba
for the formal transfer OF the island to
the Cuban government has embarrass-
ed rather seriously the United States
in Its relations with the republic Of
Cuba. The treaty was negotiated In
good faith to carry out what Is regard
ed by the president and other off,
Gals "a the evident intent of the treaty
of Paris. and to clear away any doubt
which might exist as to the control of
the island
Ii can be sail that the would-be
seceders Will receive no encouragement
from the administration. Secretary Of
State Root, when he was secretary OF
war. was very emphatic on the points
that the Isle of Pines belonged to
Cuba as matter of right, as a matter
of international law and as a matter OF
justice:" Furthermore that In procuring
naval stations In Cuba for the United
States. there was a general under
standing that the Isle OF Pines was to
be coded TO Cuba. although its title has
been In doubt.
The reported secession OF the resi-
dents from Cuban control fs deprecat-
ed vigorously. but action regarding 1t.
any should be contemplated, would be
taken only after the government he's
vised officially and fui,- 70
10
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1905-11-17
FIVE ITALIANS A
PERISH In FIRE
Three Women and Two Men
tins of Fiery Element. ]
TENEM ENT CONSUM Ed
Majority of Those Who Lost Their
Lives We're on Blended kL,eh
Engaged In Prayer When
Death Came.

New YORK. Nov. II Five persons
burned to death in a fire which des-
troyed the six-story tenement house al
22l East Sevcnty-third street Al ar
early hour Thursday morning.
Sleeping tenants on the five upper
floors were made prisoners by the
flames. with the ground floor a roar
ing furnace beneath them. Three Of
those who lost their lives were kneel-
Ing I'm prayer when the flames reach
ed them.
Within one hour after the blaze was
under control ~" bodies Of three WON
en- and two men had been taken r.,
the stairways between the second and
third floors.
The police believe the fire was start
cd by an incendiary. II began In o
heap OF rubbish at the bottom of tht
air shaft and spread through the In
terror OF grocery store on the ground
floor. Within few moments all fir,
escapes were packed with persons
whom the flames had cut off from es-
cape by the interior stairways.
When the fire department arrived
with its ladders. nearly every one on
the fire escapes was kneeling in pray
er Adding to the pathos Of the seem
was the action of men who stood witt
their arms fun of personal possessions
while their wives fought unaided &c
protect their children from being tram
pied by the crowd or suffocated by the
smoke. Every one on the fire escapes
was saved by the firemen. The dead
are Guiseppi Randazzo. Antonio Lorea
Salvatore Tiazza. Santa Tiazza and An
tonic Selarde