The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1905-06-29
SHE HAD THE PROOF.

Washington Star: When little Mrs.
Mercyonnus returned to Washington
from her honeymoon she lost no time
in hurrying around to the home "of
an old married woman friend for adj
vice and consolation. Tho old married
woman friend, that IL to say, was all
Of twenty-three years OF age. and she
had been married for fully half u year.
Little Mrs. M~ercyonnus looked very
nervous ana perturbed.
What In the name OF land sakes
alive ails YOU" of course inquired the
old married woman friend and Girlhood
pal when she saw the distressed state
or little Mrs. M%ercyonnus. You are
looking dreadful. What Is it?"
well, / guess you would look dread
full too, II your husband made such a
terrible uproar In his sleep that you
couldn't sleep for five or six nights
running" replied little Mrs. Mercyon-
nus, ~portingly,
ooh, yUu mean that the poor man
snores q inquired the old married woln-
an frie~S sympathetically, yet with a
broad smile.
We'll. l suppose that is what It is
called; but snoring seems too mild u
term to denominate the--the--the
sounds that Jack makes" said Mrs.
Mercyonnus.
But" sagely asked the old married
woman friend. why In pities' saltes
don't you turn him over when he shores
SO that you can't Sleep"
Turn him over?" repeated Mrs. Mer-
cyonnus, mystifiedly. Nov, what on
earth can the woman mean? Turn
him over! That sounds as II he were a
bug-or-or something!"
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. exactly
what / mean, II nothing. else I'M
pressively replied the old married
49,, =, 90 oil re ~ ln1f a Nyau T'S az mari
ence with a husband creature.
But, dear me- hopelessly remarked
Mrs. M~ercyonnus, the great hulking
creature weighs 200 pounds. How in
the wide world would l be able to turn
him over?'
"Oh, you don't have to literally lift
him UP and turn him over" remarked
the settled married woman of twenty
three. mo such thing. OF curse not.
All you've got to do IS to give him a lit
tie poke or shake, you know-just suf-
flcient to half awaken him-and tell
him to urn over n he'll do 1t with
out coming to his senses at all. Hus-
bands get to do that quite automati-
cally. you know. When they're trained
that way. But you'd better begin
training him that a Immediately
But l don't want to wake Jack up.
poking or shaking him. argued Mrs.
Mercyonnus. He says that when once
lls Wakes up at llSit l. ~ =
him to get to sleep again"
Now, you do as l tell YOU peremp-
torily commanded the old married
woman. Il know what I'm about. !
had the same trouble with Edward.
But now l a merely to touch him
on the shoulder when he's snoring-and
he does snore, too, something dreadful,
| although he denies 1t strenuously--and
he turns right over on his side like q
lamb, without ever waking up. And
men cantor, anyhow, they don't
snore when they're laying on their
sides. It's only when they're lying on
their backs, the poor helplesSly old
things, that they snore.'
Mrs. ~alercyonnus decided to put the
lesson to the test that very night, pso-
vided, of course, her husband again
.snored hard enough to keep her awake.
He did snore hard enough to keep
her awake that night, and she rose on
Election of the electric light shining
through the window, that he was
,sprawled out OH the fiat of his back.
So she coached out very soft and
gentle hand and touched him on the
shoulder. Then she waited for him to
turn over. It didn't happen. He Went
right on snoring harder than ever.
She touched him on the shoulder
again, this time placing her lips close
to his car and murmuring, Jack"
Nothing doing. Jack was running the
biggest saw mill south of Michigan
and he was running 1t for keeps.
'I'd lust like to know what Minnie
murmured little Mrs. Mercyonnus tc
herself. "He has not even moved
Turn him over! ! might just rs wei
try to turn the house over. jack
And she gave him a little harder shake
on the shoulder this time, and placed
her lips still closer to his ear, TIL
only noticeable effect was that HI
struck ii knot of lignnm vitae hardnes!
and resistance that Mrs. Mercyonnu.
actually fancied that the dishes In tn,
pantry ratified with the sound.
However she was there TO try gu
that turn hinl-over thing to Its flna
issue, and she gave him another pro-
ii shake. This time he struck hal
d dozen big knots in a bunch. Then h
slowly quit snoring,Egurgled q lot In hi
throat, opened his eyes, and grunted-
but he didn't turn over SO that any
body could really notice At.
What Is it?' he inquired. ghoarsel
and drowsily. What the dickens j
coming or here3'
jack whispered his wife, with tn
Idea OF not fully awakening hin
you're snoring dr~eadfully. deed 70
nre--drcadfullyl cant sleep q wink.
"Huh2 Me snorag AW,I#cut " out
Never snorcd In my life. Sure thin
Dunno how. Would woh-ng--glick-el
heu-o and then he gurgled hirnse
into d Etfll profoulder snoring slulnhe
Butshe hfdlft turned oversarly.
'ssJnck,'' resolutely Whispered lit
Mrs. Mcrcyonnus. giving him nnoths
shake, with the Idea OF Melting hi
before he got too TAR away mi
drenInland, won't you pul-leeze-jui
to let me sleep OH such a teenchy ~
Ito bit---wnn't you pul-leeze turn or.
like o. good did thing
This time he arrived al sor1ethir
like genuine c-onsciousncss. He role
over on his side In an elephantine 20