Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1905-01-14
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my son."-Puck.
Mr.. Flush-Have you change for
ivel Mr.. Broke-No; but would like
to have ave for a change-Ex.
Jurgs Knox Qn the court room)-
I've lost my hat Attorney-Thats
nothing. l lost q suit here yesterday.
-Ex.
He-Its hard to keep a secret some
times. isn't lit She--I don't know;
I've never tried it--Detroit Free
Press.
A little boy was asked his name, and
answered: We'll. they call me Jim
mie, for short; but my maiden name u
James"
I'm sure he said he was out of pol
itics for good" you must have mis-
understood him. He's out for the
goods in politics. Press.
Edith-When l accepted Jack he
said he was in the seventh heaveni
Ethel-Quite likely; he's been engaged
to six other girls this season.-Jester.
Minister-so you saw some boys
fishing on the Sabbath, my young man.
Did you do anything to discourage
theml Small Boy--Yes, sir; stole
their bait
Hawkins-That pickpocket they
caught Is really a very intelligent fell
low. Sampson--No doubt OF it. He
proved that by his ability to locate q
lady's pocket.
Jaggles-Do those noblemen who
come over here to visit us acquire
many of our customs? Wagges-I
presume so. At any rate, they borrow
great deal from u.s.
MY kingdom for a horsew cried
Richard the Third. And n moment
later he was seen slowly emerging
from under his balky automobile
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Mr.. Gooder--Here's a book I'd very
much like to have our daughter read.
1t contains some good advice for a girl
of her age. Mrs. Gooder-Very well.
I'll forbid her to touch 1t.
9 "A mighty poor sermonr said Knox.
as they came out Of church. What
would you expect for n cent? an
, swered Cox, who had seen what the
: kicker had dropped into the plate.
Zones borrowed dollar from me
yesterday" Yes" He paid me back
with the same dollar | loaned him"
That's strange" mo. couldn't pass
it misunderstanding Plain Dealer.
Just Too Lovely: "Yes," said the
first actress, 1--WE got a lovely new
play for this season" "What Is itr'
asked the other. "a society drama In
four acts and Ave new gowns."-Ex.
kissing Bugs: He-Let us sit out
on the lawn and watch for shooting
stars. She oh, somebody might see
US. Let's sit inside the grape arbor
and watch for lightning bugs.-Judge.
Yes" said Mr.. Borem, I'm disap-
pointed in these shoes It's funny now
adays how ones things wear out be-
fore one knows It," YES" replied
Miss Weary, with q yawn, especially
ones welcome"
! Teacher-Now, then, Tommy, you
have no good excuse for staying away
from school yesterday Tommy-Wen,
it wasn't my fault Teacher-It
wasn't? Tommy-No, ma'am. | done
my best to think up one.
"Oh, children! You are no noisy to-
day. Can't you be little stller and
better" Now, grandma, you must be
a little considerate, and not scold us.
You see, II 1t wasn't for us you would
not be a grandma at ALL"
She-And you say you would die for
me? Mr.. Boresome-A thousand times
She-Would you mind doing 1t Just
Once-straightaway1 You knew papa
has been appointed coroner, and b
hasn't had any practice yet-Bostoa
Traveller.
Burly Party-Are you aware, sir,
that you deliberately placed your UNI
brella in my ear last evening? Little
Bifferton-Very careless of me, I'm
surel wonder what became OF 1t.
and Would II be too much trouble
TO ask you to return it7--Tit- Bits.
Jones-It Is just impossible for me
to keep a lead pencil. People are al.
ways borrowing, you know, and they
always forget to return. Brown-Why,
never have any trouble. See, I've
got a whole vest pocketful of pencils
JOnes-Doesn't that prove Just what
said?
WILLIE met our new minister on
my way to Sunday school, mamma,
and he asked me II ever played mar
bles on Sunday. Mother-H'm! And
what did you say to that? WlllIe-I
said, Get thee behind me, Satan! and
walked right of and left him."-Lon-
don Tit Bits