The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-12-06

strength lies in herd copyrighf,
1905, by P. c. Eastment.)
HUMOR OF THE DAY
Auctioneer (pot-bofler-sale)-Goi Co
ing. Gonel Here, sir it's yours. Great
bargain sir. The frame alone is worth
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. out the picture
The frame was what wanted.-EeW
\ ork Weekly.
Chureh-Does your friend MaeGurdy
seem to be prosperous2
Gotham-Yes he does think he ought
to be investigated.-Yo nkers Statesman.
Hepzibah-weu. what do you think O.
that Fathers been married twice an
IIiram-what makes you think so. Hap
Hepzibah-Whv. the family Bible here.
It says he married Anna Doniini in 1858,
and mothers name was Sarah Brown
Post-Transcript.
Would you mind walking the other
way and not passing the horse?" said
London cabman with exaggerated polite
the minimum fare
'Why2" she inquired.
Because if e see WOt e been carrying
for a shilling ell ave flt," was the
freezing answer.-Boston Advertiser.
whats the difference between q. sa~
cred concert and an ordinary concert?',
"One is played on Sunday, and the 9TH
er isn't, that's all''-Baltimore Herald.
Jack spratt could eat no fat:
His wife no lean, they say;
So they were wise to compromise
On predigested hay.
Philadelphia Evening Bulletin.
you say congressman are at a disad-
vantage in dealing with the rallways2"
asked the indignant citizen.
Yes. answered Senator Sorghum,
they are at disadvantage"
For what reason2"
We'll. you see. congress can't issue
passes that viii get you anywhere. -
Washington Star.
II believe" said Mrs. oldcastle, that
what boy is depends largely upon his
environment
4 know it," replied her hostess as she
carelessly toyed with her jewel box.
There was my cousin Ebenezer's boy.
He never knew what 1t was to have =
wen day till the doctors found out that
i was his environment and cut it OUT
Chicago RecOrd-HeraId
Mrs. Al de Mustahd-You appear to be
very fond Of your poodle, Mrs de
Bunch.
Mrs. Justin de Bunch-Yes, indeed. Mrs.
Cutler was unkind enough to say that I
loved it more than I do my child.
Mrs. Al &c Mustahd-Wen that's nat
uraL The dog has pedigree, hasn't he2
Mr.. Wagg-Don't you think. dear, that
/ bathing the baby retards his growth?
Mrs. Wagg-Water ridiculous ideal
Mr.. Wagg-Wen I notice that he al
ways shrfnks when he's washed.-Boston
Transcript.
-'Wot be ZEE a-doin' ere, Giles?''
oh, I've left Warmer Hodges"
.sWOt for2"
well, three months ago a COW died
and master saIted en- an we eat EN-.
Then pig died and master sailed zee
and we eat ZEE. Then the week afore last
the masters mother-in-lor died, and I
seed the master goin upstairs wi
bucket o salt, 50 I left."-The Taller.
What did you quit that good job for2''
1.-The boss called me a fool
But he didn't hre you? You quit just
YES sir"
Then the boss was right ''-Cleveland
Leader
Patient-Doctor. frequently experience
a kissing sound in my ears. What would
you advise me to do2
Doetor-What is your occupation?
Patient-Tm an actor.
DoctOr-Then I'd advise YOU to get some
other kind of a job.-Chicago News.
But you haven't said a word about the
20. it was a society drama. and just
the right kind. You could listen to the
like it, and not miss anything worth men
tioning. Chicago Tribune.
''You seem nervous and restless this
morning" said the merchant.
Yes replied his partner Il asked
Burroughs to drop in today and pay me
what he owes me.
'Ah And you're afraid he won't come
Tn afraid he will come and borrow
more. philadelphia Ledger.
You shouldn't treat your boy so harsh
" you'll break his spirit.
Well, he'll probably get married some
time and he might as well have it bro
ken now. answers.
Gwilliams-Your favorite authors are
Rudyard Kipling and Henry James2
That's the oldest combination I ever
heard Of
sfint-Oh. I don't know find Henry
james admirable as chsser.-ChicagO
Tribune.
Stranger in n. Y.-For heavens sake
who are those ridiculous kids2
Elevator Starter Gin insurance offieel--
Sh-h-h. That's the eighth vice president
and the tenth assistant actuary going in
to draw their sa1aries.-Pue1.
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.