The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-20

There's one consolation for the man
on the tramp who can rub the dirt on
raw turnip on the grass and sit down
under the bushes and eat the vegetable
without peeling. He knows nothing OF
Indigestion, and he doesn't worry about
the oyster crop"
i've always noticed that about the
Tune farmer wants to get two or three
barrels Of new cider down cellar and
don't want to get in front of them him
self is the time when he is really GLAD
to see a tramp, and is liberal with his
cold potatoes and fat pork
I ut isn't that the farmer cares for the
windfan apples lying on the ground for
the hogs to root over, but it is the feel
ing Of ownership that makes him
i threaten to break a tramp's neck II he
oAs'
Ten years experience on the road
has taught me that there is little in-
ducement for Weary William to speak
the truth. On the contrary, the bigger
his lie the more generous his meal.
TT isn't being sent to the county jail
/ that I consider as degrading to D1iap-
! dated Gentleman who is padding the
hoof to see the country and study hu-
must associate more or less with a Jaller
who ought to have been born dog, but
didn't happen to be be-"
you can set it down for a fact that
! when a farmer S barn is burned ana
: there is a liberal insurance ne always
Hays it to Providence. If there is no in
surance he wants every tramp for ~
miles around arrested on the charge of
arson"
IF can provoke a political OF a re-
/ ligious argument with the average
9 1,-E1
am sure of a good breakfast. If he feels
/ that I have had the best of it L have to
march on with a piece of stale bread
and slice Of fried pork.
"since I took to the road have found
out, among other things, that Columbus,
Pllny, DiOgeneS, Plato and the like were
only very common clay. When you
want a real tip-topper you must go TO
the country constable Even string
beans have to ask him if they may
grow
H II seldom strike a house in the rural
districts bat what I see the Holy Bible
prominently displayed on stand II the
parlor, and in xnost instances Uncle
Reuben is engaged in trying to inquire
out how he can make three pecks OF
potatoes fill a bushel basket.
-+Three things, If worked right, viii
always get a tramp a nights shelter
and something to eat. You must satisfy
the man of the house that your leaning
is towards his church. no matter WnaL
the faith. You must convince the hlred
man shat he can husk more corn than
anv one else in the county, and you
must say that you heard of the wife
cooking and rag-carpet making while
still 20 miles away
s.tTheret is but little inducement for
thrift. on the part Of tramp. The ngst
year I took the road I saved all the
feathers from the, hens stole and
roasted or set out to. but I hadn't got
half enough for a pillow when I was
arrested, they were USED as evidence 70
convict me. and I was jailed for 80
davs.
aIts a mistake to suppose that the
average tramp is devoid of sentiment.
NV word for it, he appreciates fine
bit of scenry as much as the man N
broadcloth, but at the same time ne nas
into the cornfield and out again without
the owner seeing him and raising
great row about it.,
q What caused you to take to drink,
/ and why don't you stop it?' are two
| questions always hurled at tramp be-
I fore he has had time 10 get MS teeth
into his cold meat. AS a matter or 1act,
tramps are the most abstemious class
I know Of A traInp'S got to have
sober head to pursue the profession.
IT think most men pity their dogs and
horses and COWS, but it ends there. II
tramp comes along on night when the
thermometer stands four or I'VE de-
I grees below zero he's expected to turn
in on the haymow without blanket
and take his chances of becoming an
angel before morning. or of being able
to turn out and cut half cord OF Wood
for a ten-cent breakfast.
IT was once arrested ana taken 81
miles on suspicion that had committed
8 a murder. When they figured it out
that I couldn't have possibly been on
the scene. the justice of the peace SEN
fenced me to 50 days IN jail .st-ad
." What for, your honorF L asked
- For not being the murderer, he
blandly replied"
"Among. the statistics have gathered
in nv time is one to- the effect that q
man has got to bore his way into a
/ strawstack for a distance of at least
| seven feet to find anything like genial
atmosphere, and that the FARMER anu
his hired man have to exercise one
horse power to pull him out early the
next morning before he has finished his
n dreams"
3" Look a-here,' said Uncle Reuben to
me one day, as he Strengthened up on
his hoe in the eornheld and looked at
4 me in a paternal way. Why don't you
/ have some aInDlt1on ABOUT you anu earn
a place for yourself among men?'
How shall I begin? l asked
wall. now, if you'll begin work
right away and work hard till sundown
I'll be summed if don't rive you all
the sour milk you can drink and throw
in two turnips to encourage your -
Copyright, 1906 by Mcclure, Phillips
& Co.
One Too Many.
'sspeakin' of what they call dispen-
sations of Providence" said the old