The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1905-12-09
From Lasater on The Rhine.
As the festive season draws nes

AS the Ieetive season draws near
in which we trust to have much
pleasure in them despite short
crops and seemingly hard time, we
are wont to say Thanksgiving day
was observed in good order by Prof.
Proctor calling the patrons and stu.
dents of Lasater high school to.
gether at the male and female sem.
mary, where series of recitations,
expositions and intellectual SOM
mersaults were INDUCED in. Short
speeches and short talks were in
order till Judge R. A. Loomis was
invited to take the stand, The
Judge. who is always loaded with
something for the good of his PEG.
pie and the welfare of his country,
got off most excellent talk espec-
tally to the students, He dwelt to
considerable extent, on the import.
ance of obedience, showing that on
account of disobedience our most
excellent Sid Dugan met tragic
death. Our sympathies run out to
the bereaved wife and fatherless
children of our long time friend
Sid Dugan, AS friend, neighbor
and citizen, we have always found
Asberry Loomis tried and true,
AS county Judge we feel that we
have the right man at the helm.
Only this we deplore, he has played
the role of widower too long in a
land where there are so many sweet
maids and matrons. Fact is those
of them that we have tasted 10
sweet as sacharine. that is said to
be 500 and 30 times sweeter than
sugar, ye Stoney tried the widower
route once but t'want no 60; we
were watched and wooed at every
turn of the lane. Thinking to es.
cape we took the wings of the morn
ing and scared from off the top of
the backbone of the world in West,
Va, ore hill and dale till we took
up in the booster state, (Indianna)
where a sweet little widow with
sweeter girl baby came very near
capturing us. Tearing ourself lose
from their fond embrace we finally
found Judgement in Texas where
we thought we were thoroughly
quarantined against matrimonial
influences, when all of sudden
we discovered that one Miss Diloy
Henderson, since know as the Irish
pullit, had 80 entrapped US that
we were forced to make an uncon.
ditional surrender,
LATER-Monday, Dec. a. Since
writing the above buggy was seen
dashing through Lasater at a furi.
GUS rate going east, pulling up a,
the residence of Gu Sim mons, J ust.
ice of the Peace in and for beat q
they sang out, Charlie, come forth
Going out the Judge saw seated in
a buggy two souls with but single
thought who said, Squire, we are
on matrimony bent and want you to
tie the knot, which the Judge did
instanter, the lovers keeping their
seate, they then drove rapidly in
the direction from which they came
as they disappeared we Stoney
sang, why should we mourn depart
ing friends, or start with this alarm,
tits but the wish of two dear friends
to keep each other warm
Stonewall extends greeting with
the following mathematical prob
lem to solve. IF it takes -four
thousand yards oflinoleum to make
a hippopotimus a bath robe, how
long will it take a cockroach to bore
a hole through brick
I The contracting parties were
Miss Ola May Wimberly, daughter
of Joe Wimberly, and Mr.. Rowly
Smith, son of Pegleg Smith, who
left his leg on the battle field o
Rasacka while opposing Sherman
march to the sea.
SToNEWALL No, 9.