The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-02-26
HUM0Rs OF THE SITUATION
Success Of the Sale OF Breakfast Food
Has Been Due 60 Judieious Adver.
tisins - Instantaneous Foods
Become Very Popular.

tinuously. is evidenced by the success
! in placing breakfast foods on the mar
ket. The ever increasing number o
breakfast foods has so sharpensd com
petition that their makers are driver
TO more and more extraordinary de
vices to catch the eye OF the bias
public. When new food appears 1
must proclaim itself In some noval anC
unusual fashion. or II Is likely TO b.
doomed to die unhonored and un'
cooked. 1t must have name that no
only strikes the mind. but sticks in 1t
There was a time when breakfas
food advertisements were rs plain al
the ingredients which they claimed Z
possess. Then some bright manufac'
turer heralded his new product IL
rhyme, and the hungry world read ant
laughed. One after another breakfast
food makers sought fortune by tn,
help of the MUSES.. SO that now al
many signs are in poetry as in prose
Purity was long the chief watchwor!
among breakfast food manufacturers
when some one hit on the idea thai
strength would be a still better slogan
The morning meal. he argued. was moi
intended to supply pleasure SO much
as muscle and brain power.
II was the breakfast which prepared
a man for business. just as the late
supper fitted his mood after the theatei
or the club. Accordingly, he made the
countryside stare at great portraits Of
a giant carrying the world in one hand
and package of his breakfast food In
the other.
A prominent Astorian discussing the
breakfast foods said:
'.When ! went home the other night
my wife said:
"'Oh, hubb, ! want to attend that
instantaneous food festival. II will
be given at the church next Thursday.
All the women of Astoria are going.
my dear. said /, you have my con-
sent. have no objections to "instan-
taneous food" unless there Is danger
of an explosion. II may be made out
of dynamite, and be selfraising when
you drop It.
"'oh, that's lively said she. 1t will
"'Oh. that's lovely said she. IT will
and Anna, and Susie, and Matte. ana
Jennie. and Kate, and Jessie. and Su.
san and myself all want to go. It's
such a novel thing you know
well: | figured it up, and found
that II my wife and all Of my daugh-
ters went | was stuck for just $3.50
Come to find out, IL was all an adver'
tising scheme for instantaneous food
You see, the breakfast food company
went to the trustees OF the church and
offered TO furnish the festival II they
would guarantee that more than loC
women would attend. He said that
each woman should pay 80 cents for q
ticket and that all the money should
go TO foreign missions and be used e
convert the heathen. The offer was
gladly accepted and they had the fes'
tival. I've been eating instantaneous
food since. Don't nudge me, or II
blow up"
But what was the festival?" inter
rupted the reporter. What kind o.
food did the company give the wo'
men?"
instantaneous food, was the re-
pIy. Every dish was Instantaneoui
food only prepared In a little differ
ent way. Why, Anna and Susie wer'
going over the whole list Of dishes las
night at dinner time. First, they hac
instantaneous food with oysters. TheI
came instantaneous food with cream
ed peas. After that there was IN
staneous food soaked In stewed to
matoes. They had some French nam
for 1t, which / forget. Finally, for des
sert, they had instantaneous food
built In a sort of raft and floating OF
a small lake of soft custard; and will
the women were eating, young wo
man explained how each dish wa
made. She made them think that in
Simultaneous food was more essentia
to health than clothes. Since that fes
ItivaI I think I have paid out about 8
for packages Of instantaneous food
Ian the girls want to experiment wit
lit, to see II they can make all the var
lious dishes they ate at the festiva
Even Baby Susan has stopped maxim
mud pies, and uses 1nstantaneou
food instead. found her emptyin
a box Of 1t into a mud puddle In tn
back yard only yesterday morning"
Il haven't told you the worst" sal
the family man. "The women at tn
festival were all asked to register, Civ
ling both their names and addresses
lNow the circulars are pouring II
Every mail brings a new recipe Q
some new inducement to buy instan