West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1905-03-09

ANSiOh knew SuCn numDle FARMER
as myself. And when they sent NE
their speeches with no stamp on the
envelope l concluded that they must
be one of the men that owned the
Government For over forty years
slumbered peacefully in this delu-
sion; Many of my farmer brethren
are still enjoying this peaceful slum-
Der that knows no awakening until
the Judgment Day So long as the
veil is not rMsed from their illusion
II would be crime against humani-
ty to spoil their happiness and con-
tentment.
But my sojoum in Charleston for
the past two months has literally
transformed me from a ruralist to a
Promoter of other peoples happi-
ness and prosperity. ! have been
caught in the red light district 10y
the innocent little pea under the
shell and the three cards that were
so simple to pick up. Twas not the
only man from my happy home dis.
trict that verified the old adage
'that fool and his money is soon
parted" For the present shall
not inform the people back in Pres
ton whom my friends were who
shared my i'll fate. They will have
plenty of time tn reflect over their
folly when they return home and re-
count to the family circle before the
fire side how they achieved distinc.
ton and glory down on the Bowery.
In few days the agony will be
over. The Legislative members
will return TO the farm from whence
they sprang. The old farm will
never enchant them as Of yore.
There will be a sadness in their
heart. The growing of the rooster
will not arouse them from their
slumbers as formally. The habit
they contracted of seeing the sights
by the glare of the electrict lights
and sleeping until midday cannot
be disturbed though a thousand
roosters crow. Too many of the
farmer legislators were inveigled in.
to samplng the Dennis Kelly high
balls before their interior had pass
ed through the probationary period,
and as a result their struggles in
warding off the hobgoblius as they
hovered over ther enamelled beds
was pititul sight, and made them
wish more than once that they had
stuck to their native dnnk-hard
cider. But the city Legislators told
them that if they wished to reach
the goal OF statesmanship that they
would have to indulge in cocktails
and high balls which would give
them an enlargement of the BRAIN
and a double vision. 1t would
make them see things differently,
and when they returned to the farm
they would behold two crops grow
ing instead of one. make this ex-
PLANTATION in justice to the farmer
legislators, for in my humble opin-
ION ] do not think they had any in
tention of discarding the hard cider
when they left the farm. The hard
cider has the necessary acid in it to
work the bile off after a hard days
work on the farm. The cocktails
and high balls puts legislator in
such condition that he loses all
interest in legislation and puts in
his lucid moments wondering how it
all happened. Then remorse seizes
him and he wants to flee to the farm.
For the first two weeks after /
reached Charleston was passing
through this transformation. AT
times imagined / was the Cover
nor a Napoleon; a Demosthenes,
or J. Pierpont Morgan While
the iluson was on it was delightful.
But the next day when / awoke !
wished / was the iceman and owned
the water works. In comparing
notes with the rural district legisla-
tors they confded 10 me that they
had similar experience, with the
exception, that they we're laboring
under the impression that they had
full control Of the Standard oil
| Company. Never once did the
new tax laws and old speck appear
to them in their dreams, which was
the first time that their mind had
been free from them since they left
the farm and the spellbinders.
Those spellbinders who we're eluci.
dating the new tax laws during the
campaign are responsible for the
erroneous ideas which accumulated
in the heads Of the rural district
legislators concerning the new tay
laws. One meeting with the Stan.
/ dard oil Company convinced them