Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1905-03-24

the sittin' room sofy and any guam
tity of things. And the old man was
gittin' older, crankier and deefer ev-
cry day.
Got so it was kind O. a joke, as yer
might say; I'd do it at the table just
for fun. Have some beans, yer old
lmage?" I'd ask him, the fust part
loud enough to take the roof off and
the rest in an ordinary tone of voice.
And then Maria'd pucker up her face
to keep from larfin
For them two years he never men
toned Sddie's folks except to run
'em down, but all at once he began to
change his tune. Begun to wonder
haw they was gettin along, and said
he would like to see 'em, till Maria
end me began to git real worried.
His seventy-eighth birthday was
comm, and we thought 'twould please
him If we made kind O. celebration
of it. We talked it over some, and
Maria said she'd git up special good
dinner and have a whoppin' birthday
cake. told her twas foolishness,
but she was set on it and said he was
old and childish and would be tickled
to death, so let her go ahead.
Well, the morning of his birthday
hitched up and drove to town to buy
some hay for the cattle, cos we'd run
out. Well, when l got home l found
Maria in an orful stew.
Seems she'd gone over to the Nick
ersons ter borrow some sugar, and
she and Pashy Nickerson got talkin'
about the minister's wife; how extrav-
agant Nathaniel Nixon was since he
got married, and one thing er another,
till twas II o'clock fore she started
home. On the way she met Lysander
Holmes, who drives the mail cart, and
he says, Left a package at your
house; twas for yer Uncle Eph."
We had a fine dinner, roast beef and
plum puddin' and heaven knows what,
but nothin' suited Uncle Eph. He
growled at the vittles and said this
was burnt and that was raw, till I got
madder'n a young heifer. Fin'lly
Maria went out and fetched the birth
day cake. Twas a noble old cake l
tell yer; there was Uncle Ephum on 1t
done in red peppermint loZenges;
Maria made the letters so big there
wasn't room for the IN" on the end.
Here's a big slice for you, Uncle,
howled. and then I says, in my usual
voice, Looks as if it would poison
yer, and hope to goodness it will"
Well, he just grinned and took the
slice and bergan to eat it and l set
down and pulled my mustache down
so as he wouldn't see my lips move
and commented. I sartinly did give it
to him hot and heavy. Maria had ter
cough half dozen times to keep from
| larfn' out See i'm eat" I'd say,
"Weve got him this time. Every
mouthful is just as good as a deed to
two acres of that hop field. Have
some more? That's right. Well kill
the def, old reptile this time. I can
see the melodeon in the parlor. Or
der the undertaken, Maria; this is the
best days work you ever done!"
| When he had finished three whoop-
in slices l says: Better have little
more you old alligator, we want to
kill you quick; don't want you hang
in along"
Then he sits up kinder slow and
deliberate, lays down his knife and
fork and says:
NO" he says ,"the old alligator
won't have any more; he's had
enough-of cake and other things.
But ] wouldn't order that melodeon
this afternoon IL l was you, and l
wouldn't rely on pickin' them hops
this season" And out Of the room
he walks, leavin' me and Maria look
in like a couple of wax men.
HE can hoar!" says she after a
spell
Hes heard every word we've
said" says I. Then we both looked at
each other and never said boo" for
as long as five minutes. Then we
heard Uncle Eph come stampin' down
stairs He had his old plug hat on
and his cane in his hand and he walk
ed out of the gate and down the road
You must foller him." says Maria.
| grabbed my hat and ran after him,
but he got down to town first and
went into the telegraph Office. When
he came out | went in and tried to
find out who he telegraphed to, but he
had left word with the clerk to tell
no one, so got no satisfaction. Maria
was fairly dancin' when | got home
He's upstairs in his ROOM" she
says, with the door locked and he's
THROWN things around. like all pos
sessed He's been def for years and
years and how. how, can he hear
, now?"
At o'clock somebody drives up to
the gate; twas Sdde's old man in
his wagon. Uncle Eph comes hoppin
right downstairs with his bag filled
up.
. "Oh, uncle dear" sobs Maria
where be you goin'?"
"The def old REPTILE" SAYS he as