The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-02-28
ARIZONA KICKLETs.
The New Year Starts on Wen in the
West.


West.
It grieves us to announce that Apache
Bill has been hung in New Mexico. 1t
grieves US because he might just as
well have been hung here in the Gulch
and let us had the fun of the thing.
our esteemed contemporary says he
shot at US on Apache avenue the other
afternoon. If he says ne did we Will
give him the benefit of the doubt, but
we certainly didn't know it az the time.
We have never paid any attention to
his shooting, and never shall
Colonel Morehouse, of the Big Four
Rancho, sends US postal card on
which he calls US a liar, a villain and a
worse than Nero. The Colonel has evil
IDENTIFY got it bad, and if he will drop in
some day we will furnish him gun
and cartridges and let him spend an
hour shooting at US.
A stranger named Stevens, who found
himself at Lone Jack the other day,
committed suicide because there was
no vigilance committee in the town to
hang him It's no wonder you can buy
a corner lot over there for SO
Major Wharton bet SO the other day
that he could pull our nose and get
safely away. He tried the pulling on
the steps of the postoffice, and the doc
tors are looking for the piece of lead
yet. 1t is supposed to be lodged against
his backbone. We have nothing against
the Major. but there are days when we
object to the pulling business
Grass valley has started out to make
a record for 1905. Three men have been
shot in that town since New Years day
and two more escaped the same fate by
busting out at night. Such evidence
of enterprise always receive our heart
y, -t- ~
town all luck.
We had to split Judge FulIove's ear
with a bullet the other day for calling
US a liar and a scOundrel in the May
or's office and we understand that his
feelings are hurt by our action. Per
haps we were too hasty with our gun,
and ought to have thrown him down
stairs instead. If so, we beg his par
don.
The Mormon doctrine seems to have
taken pretty deep root in Idaho, but
the soil of Arizona is altogether toe
warm for it. If the Kicker" ever
finds it getting a foothold in this ter
ritory it won't hesitate to recommend
a dose of hangman's rope as a sure
cure for the ailment-
Joe Parker owns an old cayuse
which wanders about the streets o
nights and uses his heels on any Pc
destrian unfortunate enough to take
him for a fellow human being and
offer to shake hands. We have bump
ed up against the critter two or three
times and next time we shan't hest
tate to fill him up with lead. If Joe
raises any row about it We'll fill him
up as well. We don't propose to have
the dignity kicked out of us by some
ones old crow bait. even in the dark
and with no spectators.
An eastern subscriber. who writes
in the hand of a woman, threatens to
stop her paper if we don't stop playing
poker. We'd like to stop. but every
time we try it we get a full house and
down the other fellows flush, and
there you are. 1t really seems as if
Providence meant US to go ahead and
win hundreds of dollars for the poor
heather of Africa.
Last Sunday. as we rode out to Wolf
creek for a little airing, three of the
Crescent Ranch cowboys who had if
ed out to make it hot for us. We were
far from home and taken by surprise
but when we managed to get our mule
under way we speedily left them be-
/ hind. AS cowboys they were Door
shots and ought to take lessons.
When the editor of the Lone Jack
! Recorder says there is a shortage in
our accounts as postmaster of this town
/ he lies and he knows he lies. and we
viii wager him $50 against a dime that
/ he dare not remain in his own town an
\ hour after hearing that we are headed
I that way. If we stole the whole income
! of the Dostofice for a year it wouldn' t
4 amount to enough to take US to New
/ York city and buy a cocktail We are
| holding down the postmastership simp-
i ~ for the honor OF the thing, and as a
| stepping stone towards the presidency.
]
Some of the weekly papers of this
| territory are criticizing US because we
/ own race horse and a fighting dog.
/ We don't yearn for any more dignity
than old Cicero had, and he kept a coop
of fighting cocks and knew how to han
die a pugilistic old rooster with the best
( of the boys. We believe we know our
gait. and while we haven't angels
wings on our shoulders, we shall do
nothing to demean ourself before the
crowned heads of Europe.
What our esteemed contemporary is
pleased to term, Almost a Tragedy in
/ the Common Council" was really a
trifiing affair and not worth a news