Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-12-17
BERTHE THE LAMB
In TRAINING

What curious spectacle" thought tho
City Discoyerer as he leaned on his stout
cane and gaxed intently through his gold
trimmed glasses.
And it was, indeed. a curious spectacle.
The Discovercr had spent the better part
of the afternoon tramplng about the sub
urbs and then, cold and hungry AMI lone
some he had started homeward. making
short cut through Rock Creek park from a
point on the Chevy Chase road. AMI he
had entirely given up the hope OF meeting
any one who would make the latter part Of
his walk of interest when this curious
spectacle fell upon his eyes, this spectacle
of a tall lean-ianked. bread shoulderei IT.
dividual in high hat and froek coat, ~
riously flashing large ard weil-oc 1av d
oak tree with n cruel, nine thonged Whip
What a remarkable sight" repeated the
Discoverer. he made his way ever ths
frozen ground toward the stranger Il
don't know whether It is prudent on not
out III take chance and speak to him.
Charming day. perfectly charming" le-
piled the stranger to the DISCOVERIES salu-
tation. Sweet weather. Is it not? Isn't
this a cute whip have? | think 1t is Just
lovely"
1T is certainly very formidable weapon
of punishment" replied the Discoverer In
dignified tone. he eyed the stranger
Sharply. May L make SO bold 10 IN
quire why you are beating that tree? You
are not
Now look here" said the strange. shak-
ing his finger archly at the Discoverer,
cont you quote that Old adage. about a
woman, dog and walnut tree, the more
you beat them the better they be nave
a different version of that cd saying
And what is your version?' inquired tho
City Discoverer
why, l say replied the tail stranger
with a smile, that a cruel wife-b later
and a walnut tree. the more you beat them
the better they be- Isn't that levilishly
clever, old chap?'
Evidently" suggested the City DisCCy-
erer. you are one of those who believe
that the establishment of a whipping post
in Washington for the punishment OF wifs
heaters would be a good thing"
Mercy" cried the tall stranger aren't
you the quick thing? Yes. / am one OF
those. And l brought this whip out hero
this afternoon to see how 1t worked.
want to know things before 1 advocate
them. People say the cat-o'-nine tails IS
such a cruel instrument Why. Just look.
old chap, haven't hurt this old tree a bit.
Why. 1t isn't even scratched, and tell you,
old chap. l warmed IL good
II observed that you were plying the
whip with considerable spirit" remarked
the Discoverer dryly. But what are your
reasons for advocating the whipping post
for this cty?'
ooh fudge" retoined the tall stranger.
Now you're teasing me. There are some
awful!y good reasons why 1t should be done.
l don't remember them now. but they're
awfully sound. Why. | told some of them
to the public last winter. and after / read
up on the subject some more I'm going 10
tell them all over again. But you know
what they are. don't you. old chapT'
We'll" replied the City Discoverer slow
ly. carefully weighing his words, II know
some of the arguments on both sides. -
Don't tell me any of those horrid ar
guments," cried the tall stranger, pe.u-
lantly, because 1 don't want to hear them.
l know just what you're going to say and
it's entirely too sensible Why, almost ev-
eryone talk with on the subject has some
good arguments against Il, and it's per
fectly discouragfng. When a man is try
ing to Something to benefit the city
and the people don't see it that way ana
try to discourage him l think it is hoTrid.
Don't your"
We'll" replied the City Dfscoverer with
an embarrassed cough Il don't know
about that. The people seem to think they
don't want to go back to the customs OF
the thirteenth century"
Mercy" cried the tall stranger. did
they have whipping post then? / SO
disappointed. 1 thought I was the first to
suggest it."
History tells u.s." began the 0iscovercr.
but the tall stranger interrupted him.
II never read history. I think it is dread
fully stupid, don't your" he asked. I'm
awfully well read in other ways. though. I
wouldn't have you think for moment that
my education had been neglected. l Just
finished awfully good book by the
Countess, about a beautiful girl who fell
in love with a perfectly lovely man, and all
that sort of thing, you know. Did you
ever read The joys of Divorce or Happy
Jane, the Fireman's BrideT They are
two perfectly splendid books"
II can't say that / ever did," replied tho
Discoverer, staring at the tall stranger In
some amazement. But to get back to the
subject OF the whipping post. You are
bachelor. are you not?'
II am" replied the stranger. but l just
can't guess how you knew it,
why" replied the Discoverer, with la
bored attempt at humor If you We're
married man you might not be so heartily
in favor of the establishment of a whipping
post for wife beaters"
Now you are teasing me again." cried
the tall stranger, with merry laugh. You
know l wouldn't strike a lady, even If she
were my wife. Why. 1t just makes me
creepy to think of it,"
The City Discoverer started at the tall
gold-rimmed glasses wiped and replaced
them and finally shook his head and re-
marked:
MY dear sir I have enjoyed this ele-
waiting and interesting conversation very
much. indeed. Won't you tell me who you
are?"
II just believe you know" replied the tall
stranger, with a SMILE but III tell you
anyhow. I am Representative Adams OF
Pennsylvania, the author of the bill for
the establishment of the whipping post In
the District Of Columbia. Robert is my
first name. but you may call me BERTHE II
you wish"
Jumping Jehoshaphat." muttered the City
Discoverer to himself as he resumed his
homeward Journey "Bertie-whipping post
the flreman's bride-who would havg
thought it?'