Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1905-01-04
NOT MEANT TO HURT
UNDUE EXCITEMENT OVER Mr..
JONES' "RAZZER."
Incident That Threatened to Disturb
the Peace and Order Of the Thomp
son Street Social Club Ends in Hap.
piness and Dignity.

There was ample evidence of sup.
pressed emotion among the gay young
bellies and beaux at the ninth annual
reunion of the Thompson Street Social
club. Even the plinkety-plunk of the
George Washington banjo quartet,
which furnished music for the recep-
ton preceding the dancing. could not
divert attention from it. Mr.. De Pey.
ster jackson, chairman of the COM
m1ttee OF arrangements, was at loss
to understand it. 1t was distressing to
him to see fancy-free, il not fair, maid
ems whose mirth was wont to border
on the boisterous cling silently to
the arms of their gallant escorts, and
artfully lead the way to secluded cor.
ners. Mr.. Jackson began to make in
quiries. 1t finally led to his approach
ing naughty young man with curly
locks redolent of peppermint and teeth
as bright as the keys Of a new piano,
who was making himself agreeable to
the wife Of the founder of the club.
Mr.. Livingston JONES'" said the
chairman of the committee of arrange.
ments. if Mrs. Romeo johnson will
excuse you I should like to have a
moments conversation with you, sab"
Cant yo' say it right heah?" in.
quired Mr.. Jones, loath to be disturbed
in his tete-a-tete.
'Scuse me, suh," replied Mr. De
Peyster Jackson, frigidly. but what
I'm gwine to say Is not delectable for
lady's ears, subj"
A fierce light leaped into the dark,
round eyes of Mr.. Livingston Jones.
He scented trouble. Bowling deferen-
TALLY to Mrs. johnson he walked away
with the chairman, followed by the
entire committee of arrangements.
You could have heard a pin drop until
the banjo quartet struck up "Therell
Be Hot Time in the Old Town To-
night"
Mr.. JONES'" said the chairman, SOL
emnly, Il am informed on authority
cannot Obliterate that you have
brought razor In this assemblage to.
night, sub"
Mr.. Jones glared defiantly at his &C.
cuser.
"S'pose have" he exclaimed,
stamping his foot.
Il S'pose you know the penalty,
suh,'' continued Mr. De Peyster Jack.
son, growing as pale as possible IN
der the circumstances, forfeiture of
the deadly weapon and expulsion from
the club?"
Il am cOgnizational of it," replied
Mr.. Livingston Jones, with dignity.
An you admit, TO all desc gemmen,
havin' de razor?"
II do
Den be kind enough to hand it to
me, sub, and evacuate de premises.
said Mr.. jackson, now trembling with
rage.
Sulkily Mr.. Livingston Jones fun.
bied with the pockets Of his dress
coat. He drew forth handkerchief
and carefully unwound it. Then he
handed the weapon to the chairman.
1t was safety razor.-New York
Press.
The Perfect Figure.
The height of a person with a per-
feet figure should be exactly equal the
distance between the tips of the mid
die fingers on either hand when tho
arms are fully extended. Ten times
the length of the hand, or seven ard
half times the length OF the foot, or
five times the diameter from one arr,
pit to the other, should also give the
height Of the whole body. The dis
lance from the junction of the thighs
to the ground should be exactly the
same as from that point to the crown
of the head. The knee should be az
actly midway between the first.named
point and the ground at the heel. The
distance from the elbow to the tin
of the middle finger should be- thu
same as from the elbow to the middle
line of the breast. From the ton ef
the head to the level Of the chin should
be the same as from the level Of tn
chin to the arm pits from the heel b
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