The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1905-12-16
Nineo from the Dtno
nv
LANES BARTON ADAMS

And he knew she wa, playing some little game
He hid in pokeberry patch near by
And fixed on his daughter II watehful eye.
Approached a figure along thelsne
On fesbt hone with a calfcheun name.
He recognized in the gay old sport
The hog fat judgs of the county court.
The feat Of dismounting the judge achieved
And sigh OF relief the old horse heaved.
He climbed the fence with effort that
was really painful-he was 50 fat
my fair Young maiden he painting said.
BY the promptngs Of iove was hither Id
Twas borne by a tender unseen force,
And Maudie lancei Al the weary horse.
.'Ti.a time honored custom wise judge may
Make love To a maiden who rakes hay.
ITO yonder city Id bear you, dear,
To modest mansion Of mortgage clear.
pray shake the seeds from your rOseate hair
And fly with me 10 a haven there.
Low stopped his honor to kiss her hand.
Aud the old dads ooot proceeded to land!
A cowhide boot, ans 1t fell with force.
dull and sikening thud OF COURSE.
The Judge imposed with angry snort,
fine for contempt Of Cupid's court.
Then mounted his horse and rode away.
And Maude and her ,.aidy heard him say
of all III" fools in the bunch by Ned
An old fool captures the gingerbread
Astronomers say that the new come
they have is different from other comets
Perhaps it is an a,istocratic comet with
a docked tail
Holiday turkey would be more enjoy
able If those prying scientists could dts
cover a destroyer of The nj htmare germs
they bear.
An examination of the records Of the
agricultural department would no doubt
show that such immense corn crops were
never known under a Democratic ad.
miuistra,ion.
John l.. Sullivan declares that he wi
never take another drink. 1t is hoped
more than his share.
A fashion item says that the display OF
wiuter hats is not so startling as was ex-
pected. Perhaps the milliners deper d
upon the prices to do the startle stunt
Eugene Debs says he does not
want to run for president again. He csn'
see no satisfaction in wobbling along by
the half mile post after the winner has
been blanketed and led to his stall.
An astronomer asserts that there are no
canals in Mars, as has been claimed.
The planet is admittedly very old and
those s,reaks may be but weather cracks.
The announcement by the census
bureau that Nebraska has the lowest
percentage of illiteracy of any OF the
United States may cause jealous Kansas
What
They qusrreled these two neighbors did
Each day raised merry Cain:
In anger they'e blow off tie lid
And give their psss rms REIN
For weeks the scrap WAS nip and tuck
The osths few in stream,
Jutil at last one of them stuck
Upon fiendish schene
With dey lish chuckling inward laugh
He went down town one day
And bought a squeaking pbonogrsph-
And the other moved away.
The Omaha city authorities have made
the discovery that there is great deal Of
impure milk and water in the city It
has not yet been determined whether
the milk gets its impurity from the
water or the water from the milk.
A Nevada woman who married Adam
Goodman three months ago already asks
for divorce. He wasn't.
The Wisconsin woman who wants a
| divorce because married life is too SLOW
was evidently led into matrimony by
misleading signal. Her husbands
name is Swift.
A Chicago judge claims to have
smashed the record by performing .
marriage ceremony in less than ten
seconds, but he is away of of his judicial
base. The record is held BY the Colo
rado Justice who did the Job in this
brief manner:
"Have 'er?''
Yep"