Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-08-24
K|TTERY CHARACTERS
How the Yellow Peril of Ports
mouth Got Punched.
HERO OF BILL PURDEE"
CAPTURED CONVICTIONS WHEN
he TOOK A REBEL PRISONER.
~ Tot
Feeling Against Soda Fountain
Popularity of Corner Grocery
Uncle Hiram Patch's Views.
Special Dispatch to The Star.

Special Dispatch to The Star
WENTWORTH HOTEL. NEW CASTLE,
N. H., August 24-The lid is on In conse-
Grated kittery. 1t has been on ever since
Sam Lee the yellow peril of Portsmouth
waters, got pinched for running speak
easy rum hole in the back room of his place
at the Maine end of the bridge to the navy
yard Drop into the little laundry and in
qure If there is any beer on tap, and then
watch the Chinamans big yellow cheese of
a face, overcast with greenish palor
until it loses its resemblance to the full
Philadelphia cream and takes on that OF
rich old roquefort. and hear him murmur
"Clatchem shirtee, clatchem collar, no
clatchem beer Sabe."
All kittery knows the tale of how Sam
Lee leaped from the second-story window
of his shop into the waters of the mutual
Piscataqua; how the constable pursued
him down the river bank commanding the
peace, and anon firing his revolver; how
posse of prohbitionists overhauled Sam
he ashore in Portsmouth and
bound him with cords, and how, by due
process of law, me was fined $1G0, and how
thereby was the cometh forever put upon
the only rum hole in the town Under the
spreading blacksmith tree the village chest
nuts stood talking Of little else.
Today there is rumor that the tale is
to be embalned in enduring words by Mel
Stimson. the homespun historian Of Kittery
cove. Strong pressure is being brought TO
bear upon Mel by Uncle Hiram Patch and
other influential citizens to induce him to
loose his talents ucon the subject. Mel
Stimson rises above the level Of a mere
character. He IS institution-Kittery'
grand old man of literature. He is the au-
thor of The Life of Bill Purdee' In sew
enty pages and a yellow cover, which may
be found on sale at the drug store along
with photographs of the kittery camp OF
Sons of Veterans. who are shown carrying
their swords under their arms. An an
nouncement on the back pages of this work
is TO the effect that u companion piece,
The Old Flint Pistol. or the Early Life
of the Boy Who Used It," will be issued
shortly from Boston press.
The Hero Of Bill Purdee.
1t is commonly known that the hero OF
Bill Purdee is no other than Mr. Stimson
himself Under pressure he Will admit this
One of the illustrations in the book IS a
photograph showing the man who sat for
the character of Bill Purdee and his trusty
bird dog; side by side on a log in the
woods. Unfortunately, both the subjects
moved just as the photogra pher pressed the
button, but close inspection will convince
anybody that the one on the left is the
dog. kittery is also the home of the only
strong southern sympathizer along the
He is not southern sympathizer by right
of birth or conversion. He captured his
convictions when he took d rebel prisoner
during the big war. He was reared right
here, and he fought four years, but he uses
a Tennessee accent in company and enter
tains serious doubts regarding the four
teenth and fifteenth amendments. At one
time there was talk of having him churched
for speaking OF an 'ex-human chattel a
voter of Color as "dead-fetched old
black rebbit.'' He got off by reason Of his
wellknown antipathy to the demon rum.
which same he shares with Mel Stimson
and Uncle Hiram Patch. Prohibition Is no
gauzy trifie, light julep straws, in Kit
terry.
Feeling Against Soda Fountain.
There is even considerable feeling against
the soda fountain The soda fountain by
many is regarded as being blood-kin to a
bOozing ken. since one may purchase there
root beer and ginger ale. both of which are
known to contain at least two per cent OF
the accused stingeth like an adder. MI
merous molders of public opinion won't Sit
on the steps of the soda fountain place,
preferring to give the favor of their COM
pany to the grocery, two doors above
where the moral Maine onion may be OBJ
served wearing a scented halo.
Uncle Hiram Patch is the only man In
town who would rather talk about the
peace conference than the San Lee rum hole
incident From the very start he has taken
deep interest in the conference. When
seen today at the post Office he said:
THE same idee has occurred to President
Roosevelt which occurred to me some time
ago. The thing as l see it is to divide that
thar island into two halves and let one
crowd take one-half and 'tother tother. If
they don't the war IS going to spread and
gil worse than II has been heretofore.
Other nations will get themselves snarled
up into IT. From what l hear l judge 1t
IN toll mob 70 OF ont har, har
Cossacks to fighting the japanese. They
appear to be mighty partial to the Russians
as Ii is.
"Dimmycrats" in Hard Lines.
''Howsomever, you will no doubt take no.
tice that it is President Theodore Roosevelt
that's scheming to stop the war, and you
likewise recall that no further back than
this time last year the dimmycrats was say
ing that he was believer In the doctrine
of war. 1t seems to me tibet he amt left
the dimmycrats a single hand to stand
on"
Effort was made to get an opinion from
the local mandarin, Justice of the Peace
Cole. but he was not in. 1t is hard to find
klttery people except when the tide suits.
Al low water they've all gone claiming.
Your average klttery man would rather
have a nice mess of clans than peace en-
voy any time.
"iiZLllS p'iSSdSt u inc BItHipotch-
tiaries IN the autos their way to and
from the navy yard yesterday afternoon
created but the tiniest ripple upon the sur
face of the Kittery calm. The town had
gone to sleep. leaving a call for ) o'clock,
in time to go home for supper. Not a
dozen people on New March street turned
their heads when the bubble wagons boom
ed by. No sturdy yeomen lurked upon the
long bridge to see shrunken komura or
plethoric White pass.
The Drowsy, Simple Life.
The alarm-clock note OF a kinghsher
fishing along the river a rude inter-
ruption. The "cheep. cheep." of the knock
kneed plover on the mud fiat under the
wharves fitted better into the scene than