The Topeka state journal., 1905-09-28
HUMOR OF THE DAY

II HUMOR OF TIE DAY
First Leeislator-That man Bland is q
regular crook and no mistake!
Second Legislator-Didn't he pay you yet
for your vote for that last bill OF hist
First Legis1ator-Partly; you see, the
CRATER paid me only the regular sneak
bill was a regular grab.-Brooklyn Life.
Colonel Peppercorn (who is touring in
France with a hired chauffeur and car
which has broken down)-Confounc + all,
you say it's nothingi Then why don't you
Alphonse Legros-Mais, meS sier,pas pos
sible; he break below! cfn not arrive
there! He is only quinze cenfimsters from
ter round re .chest.-Punch.
what course will he take in college?"
81 don't know, but think it's glee club
and football. cleveland Plain Dealer.
A mon can sthart as minny echoes be
says it loud enough.-Baltimore American. /.
rs Howard willing to do anything for
mo. indeed! why, that man is so stingY
he Wouldn't even give it a thought"
Harpers Bazaf.
rs Mr.. Scadds so very rich?"
HE can't be very rich," answered Miss
Cayenne. Il never see anybody abusing
MN IN the magazines w dshlnstoh Star.
School Inspector-Now. my boy, what is
a vacuum?
Smart Infant-Please, sir. it's a place
with no air in it, which makes it very
hot in summer. The pope lives there. -
Punch.
No, I never go to vaudeville shows
said the coleetor bs. E refusing US, the invitation
because I've had enough of 1t. In my
business most everybody gives me song
and dance of one kind or anotherP'-De-
troit Free Press.
minaee to tn country at all. at all; but
take thin pagan Japs-throth. thims tn
yellyskins that should be barred out for
| iver.
Kerrigan-Indade? An ,phwy?
Hogan-What chanst would an honest
thin warlike diyiis wor hired as sthrike-
breakers s?-Brooklyn Life.
Don't you think" he asked, that Mrs.
Bizzerton has an interesting face?''
/ Yes she replied. Very. l am always
to fix it up."-Chicago Record-Herald.
| At a certain high school ii this city il
| is the custom to discuss briefly the morn
ing'S news before taking up the regular
| work of the day. In this connection an in
| a funny incident.
One day the teacher ascended to her
rH per on pP the desk M % ana glanced @ a. the head
| lines of the first page. THE first head
| that observe this morning. said she,
''is Pool Room Raided.' She then raised
her head, and. with the utmost feeling in
her voice, said:
Boys. never. never touch a cue!"-Har-
per's Weekly.
| Miss ElderIeigh-When he proposed
kept him in suspense all of ten minutes.
| Miss Youngbud-Pshaw And after his
keeping you in suspense all these years?-
Chicago News.
l
Didn't you think there was a little too
! much brandy in the pudding sauce at that
| dinner?" said Mrs. Fussleigh.
| NO. replied her husband, II thought
| there was little too much pudding In the
| brandy sauce. Detroit Free Press.
| I'm writing boarding house story:
would your boarding house be good
/ place in which to absorb atmosphere
| ut certainly would; we absorb more at
mosphere than anything else there
Houston Post.
| Stubbs-Daniel faced the lions and es-
capped unharmed.
| Pennies, but it is lucky he didn't have
| to face bulls and bears Then be would
have been fieeced cleaner than WHISTLE
| Chicago News.
my husband would have made a great
acrobat" observed Mrs. Tightfist
why sop said her friend.
Because he goes up in the air every
time a bill comes in.''-Detroit Free Press.
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