The Birmingham age-herald., 1905-12-10
HENRY LITCHFlELD WEST WRITES OF
 THE ANNUAL GRIDlRON CLUB DINNER

new reform and were marched out to the music of the funeral dirge.
 Every once In while during the even Ing there was cracking and -snapping and an explosion of blue sparks. It was the working of the wireless telegraph system.
 It looked the real thing, too, with a high pole and lots of wires and formidable array of batteries. Whenever the electrical pyrotechnics burst forth there was some thing doing. For instance. Governor La- Toilette sent message to Senator Allison asking if senatorial nomination led to the presidency, and the beef trust n- quired of Attorney General Moody whether he was a vegetarian; and Henry M. Whitney appealed to Senator Lodge to know if 1t was safe to pass through ', ashington. And finally came this aues- ton over the wire:
 .sHon. Leslie NJ Shaw, Secretary of the
 Treasury, Washington. D. O.:
 "Can you use the services of myself and family? All experienced financiers and at present unemployed.
 "RICHARD A. M'CURDY."f
 Some of the life insurance men who were present, including Paul Morton, waited in vain for Secretary Shaw to answer. Another alleged telegram caused much amusement was as follows
 London, December D. 1905. 70. Pierpont Morgan:
 That was a rum-go Papa Zimmerman played on you: wasn't it. old chap? THE DUKE OF MANCHESTER"
 There was no end to the good things. For instance, every one was on the qui vive when a rotund member of the club explained that a celebrated professor or telepathy or thought transference. who had been engaged to give an exhibition of his powers had become i'll In the lobby and had been taken home. The professors assistant was, however, ready to do busi- ness and had his paraphernalia with him. The member of the club having offered to take the professors place, the boy was proved to be another member of the club dressed in Fauntleroy suit with yellow curls. He looked funny enough to have his picture taken. He immediately be- came busy in distributing slips of paper the guests being informed that the ] thoughts which they had written upon the paper would be at once read by two blindfolded subjects under the control of the professor. When the slips were read the various guests of the club were found i to have made reference to matters more or less pertinent and impertinent. Nobody knows the trouble I have" wrote Secretary Loeb.
 Chairman Shonts. of the Panama canal commission. was credited with the ques- tion: "Oh, where is my wandering canal tonight?" while over David Belasce's sig nature was this modest assertion: Yes, l think it may fairly be said that William 1 Shakespeare was the David Beasco of his time
 The thought expression of MT. George was very appealing 'The free list" he was alleged to have written, Twill be positively suspended after January T. but eve-i then a pass by some other name may smell as sweet''
 1 Finally Little Lord Fauntleroy handed the professor bulky package of manu- script, which was said to have been sent i by Vice President Fairbanks. The profess sor then announced that he would perform the most marvellous feat of all, by tearing the manuscript in half and transferring thought simultaneously to each of his blindfolded assistants
 1 This long communication Is from Vice President Fairbanks" said the professor. What does he say?'
 l Nothing" shouted the two assistants in unison. and MT Fairbanks joined in the | laughter at his expense.
 Between the performances of the club quite number of bright speeches were sandwiched in, but. following the custom of the club, they were not reported. | Vice President Fairbanks was very happy in his remarks, while Speaker Can non delivereds one of his characteristic speeches. The after dinner efforts of Sec retary Taft, Secretary Shaw, Senator Flint Charles Emory Smith and others were in harmony with the spirit of the | occasion.
 1 Among the guests present were Henry B. Gray, A. l.. Fulenwider and Bradley J. Saunders of Birmingham