Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1905-11-15

women in the world, is 2 good listener
Perhaps she obtained her reputation
for greatness through her well known
quality Of listening well.
The particular accomplishment of
listening well is to do it in such way
that no one suspects you. You get the
reputation of being a eonversationalist
while really you are just a good listen
err.
Recently Nine Oyama. conversing
with a French diplomat, so covered
herself with conversational glory that
the diplomat was delighted.
Madam" said he you are the
brightest woman in the world. You
have said more in the last ten min.
utes than any other woman could have
said in a whole day
What did you say to him?" asked
relative afterwarj.
Il said nothing at all, said the smil-
ing madame, Il only listened"
To listen well is a marvellous art
One of the best listeners In the
world is Helen Gould Nobody ever
quotes her: nobody knuws just exact.
ly what she says. Yet he is rated as
fine and even brilliant conversation.
alist. She holds her audience web.
People talk to her as Ions as possible.
She is never a bore. She listens well.
1t was much confused debutante
who, during her first Washington sea.
son, suffered agonies of torture from
self-C0lscioIsness One day she met
the late Secretary Hay at a reception.
Fl ~ embarrassment was evident and in
striking contrast to the ease of the
secretal and his two daughters
Tell lae what TO say and how to say
it," she whispered to the secretary as
he shook hands with her.
With ready wit he responded
Say the same things that people say
to you. Then listen Closely
The girl did as she was hidden.
When people said How do you do?'-
she replied How do you do?" When
they said $50 gla,l to see you" she
simply repeated the formula. One af-
ter another of the sentences she man.
aged to stumble through And as she
went along ease began to come to her
ana she noticed that people conversed
with her. She said so little-and list.
ened so much. At the close of the
evening she had the satisfaction or
hearing some one say, What a bril-
liant girl is Miss X. She is such fine
conyersationalist.
carried to extreme The person who
stands and stares into your eyes ana
says not word is embarrassing The
woman who sits mm while you talk
yourself hoaTse is never popular.
In proper conversation there are sew
eral things to be leaned.
First, what to say.
Second, how to say 1t.
Third. what not to say.
Fourth, how to act.
Fifth, how to look while You are
talking.
Sixth, the polite nothings which are
the life of good conversation.
The good listener knows what to do
with her eyes. The eyes should look
frll of interest. Eyes that wander of
/ are impolite; eyes that do not sympa-
| thlze are annoying; eyes that are dun
and inattentive are worse. The goo
listener will look at you in an interest.
ed way, her gaze will never stray yer
she win not stare.
One of the best qualities of a good
listener, well bred listener, is thar
she does not ask questions. She lets
you tell just so much Then she leaves
1t with you to go on or to stop.
The really good listener does not
tell her own troubles. She keeps them
to herself.
The good listener never retans COS
sip.
The good listener never tells tales
from one family to another.
And the good listener has no views
or "1sms."
The bore is the woman who has
ideas on all subjects and who must tel
them to YOU. An still worse bore is
the woman who has cranks and fads
and who intrudes them on you.
The woman who aims to be a good
listener should bury her views ana
keep her fads out of the way: she
should be sympathetic. tolerant. and
pleasant
In conversation the good listener Sc
lects chair that fits her. She does
not perch uncomfortably upon this OF
that; she does not lag or lean: she
does not sit bolt upright; she only
looks CT nfortable.
1t is aid of Queen Alexandra thai
she always looks comfortable. He,
majesty is splendid listener. and for
. that reason was great favorite with
/ Queen Victoria, who was a great talk
er.
To the listener may be given some
latitude. 1t is not polite these Jaws
to make gestures. The listener ot
years ago threw up her hands and
made extravagant mott ms with her
arms. The listener Of today is more
composed. But she still has the Ian.
guage OF the hands and of the eyes.
The best listeners are those who SET
the ball rolling They start snbiecr
and the talker takes 1t up II may be
nothing more obstruse than window
gardening. II may b. nothing more
involved than the making Of shirt
waist or the setting of the bread 10
/ rise. Burt The listener nm farots,, 7g ~