davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-16
IRVING NO POLITICIAN,
surprise OF the Author ut Receiving
. Public Position.


President Andrew jackson in 1920
appointed Washington Irving secretary
of the American legation ut London.
This yielded a salary of $1,000. Irving
was at the Alhambra in Spain when
Colonel Thomas Aspinwall. United
Stntes consul at London. cent him Of.
fetal advice Of his appointment. rrv-
ing replied in the following letter:
Alhambrn, July %. 1923
My Dear Colonel have just been sur
prised by tiding3 os my appointment as
secretary of legation at London. an Of
flee IS unexpected az unasked for by me
rs that of pope at Rome. II has bocn
equally unsolicited by my friends con-
Tess | have felt great rcpugnance to enter
into the business and hustle of the world
and to lay myself under any restraint or
responsibility
An offer Ike this breaks IN upon the
quiet. retired literary lilo in which
nave 80 long INDUCED. Ny brothers and
my intimate friends, however. are unan-
iinous in urging mo to accept. and have
complied with their winhes.
shall dsengage myself. therefore, "a
soon possible from my occupations
and enga gcmcnts ia Spain and push for
London AZ rapid" rs the rot Weathe- will
permit. hope to eat an English beef
steak with you toward the end Of Au-
gust. You need not address any more let
ters to me to Spain after the receipt OF
this.
With kindest remcrnhrances to Mrs. As
oinwall and the young folks. for whom I
shall enacavor 10 bring some marvellous
Stories. / AM. my dear Aspinwall, yours
ever WASHINGTON IRVING
Martin Van Buren, was secretary oe
state and signed Irving's commission.
Probably he never would have been ap-
pointed secretary Of the legation il it
had not been for his odef brother. John
T. Irving. Judge Of the court of COM
mon pleas in New York city in 1929
Washington Irving n short time before
his appointment as secretary Of lega-
ton had received $4,000 for his 800
lumbus." He Immediately invested II
In steamboat enterprise and lost It.
Judge Irving thought it might be
good thing II he had something in the
shape of n regular income and ne used
his influence TO have him appointed
secretary.-N York Tribune.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-16
United States Evidence.

Judge-You are charged With steal
ing chickens. Uncle Alek-Yes. boss.
OATS so. | did 1t. | can swar to dat.
Jes what | did. suah. Judge-Ten dol
lars and thirty days. Uncle Alex
What's dat. boss? What kind o. laws
you got: When a Teller turns United
States ebi1ence don't you lef him 60
free? Neber ag'in turn states ebi-
dence as long as l lib. Now, you mind
dat!-TAbard Inn News.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-16

real Superiority Of any kind he must
needs have cndeavored to hide it. and
1t j. probable that warned by sense
Of danger. everybody affected dizziness
or vacuity when those qualities were
not real.
II occasionally heard him speak OF
Nine. de Stael. The hatred he bore
her was unquestionably founded il
some degree upon that jealousy will
which he was inspired by any superior
ity which he could not control. and hi:
words We're often characterized by 9
bitterness which elevated her in spite
of himself and lowered him in the esti
nation Of those who listened to HIM"
Cheap ridiculc made Napoleon vince
and cheap flattery was not wasted or
him. He rebuked his minister of po
lice for not suppressing the witty say
ings and contempt,ious remarks curren
in Paris and aimed at him, which cir
culnted In camp through the mail.
'He loved praise from no matter
what lips, and more than once he wa;
duped by It," says Nine dc Kcmusat
There We're men who had Influence
over him because their compliments
We're incxhaustible. Unfailing admira
tion no matter how. foolishly expressed
never failed to please him."
Ho delighted In making kings wal
his pleasure in the antechnmbcr and
at St Helena kept UP petty court
with The people stiliy posing before
him as they should in the presence Of
monarch On the throne.
GEORGE L. KILMER.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-16

over a lectle; but they dew it awful
| careless. ar he amt never fir + bc
| seen no more
He snickered family as he spoke.
An they don't nobody sec much wv
i'm otter tibet. nu'hcr." he added, with
a smile.
81 member once big bull tried =
| find out the kind o works he'd in me,
II wan no moose--jest common Or
d'nary three year-ol bull"
Hurt you?' queried.
mo; 7 hurt 'im,' said he. soberly.
Split i'm, es yc might say. Could Mt
never bear the sight NV a man efter
tibet. Seem so he did MT think he WIS
At t. be seen. Nobody c'u'd ever cit n
a mild o. tn poor cuss. He'd & be
shot"
What happened"
He'd a stout club n my hand" said
he. Got holt nv is tail. an begun
a-whalin' nv i'm. Run i'm down n
steep hill, an passin' tree. TUX
one side an he : other. We parted
there fer the las time"
Ilc IOONtu VII a. tIIt SNN II InOmCnv.
Then came his inevitable addendum,
which was: 81 he'd dam sight more
tail an he did. thct s sartin'
About ten O'Clock we came in Sigh;
of our old home. Then we hurried our
horses, and came 40 ~ Tho door witt,
a rush. A stranger met MS there.
Are you Capt Bell" said he. rs I
got off my horse.
nodded.
II am one Of your fathers tenants"
he went on. ride over the ridge yon-
der about half mile, and you will see
his house" 7 looked at D'ri and ho at
mo. He had grown pale suddenly. and
felt my own surprise turning into
alarm.
Are they WELL" I ouercd.
every well, and looNing for you."
said he, smiling
We were up in our saddle. dashing
ont Of the yard in jiffy BEYOND the
ridge wide mile of smooth country
sloped to the river margin. lust off
/ the road great house lay long and
low in fair acres. Its gables were rcd
rooted. its walls Of eraystone half hid
den by lofty hedges of cedar. We
stopped our horses. looking off to the
distant woods on each side Of us.
Cant be- said D'ri. soberly. his
eyes squirting in the sunlight.
Wonder where they live?" re-
marked
"All looks mighty GURUS" said he.
"'T ain no way nat'ral"
Lets 90 in there and ask" sug-
gested.
We turned in al the big gate and
rode silently over a driveway of smooth
gravel to the door In a moment I
heard my fathers hearty hello. and
then my mother came ont in a better
gown than ever had seen her wear.
l was out of the saddle and she in my
arms before word was spoken. My
father. hardy old Yankee, scolded the
stamping horse. While knew we'll he
was only upbraidins his own weak
ness.
Come. Ray; come. Darius" said my
mother. as she wiped her eyes: II will
show you the new nous
A man took the horses and we all
followed her into The splendid hall.
while l was filled with wonder and a
mighty longing fer the old home.
GRO Ill. CONF NrED)
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-16
NAPOLEON, A. Seen
by His Associates
THE SMALLNESS OF THE MAN
copyright. 1904 by @. L. 1lilmer.l

tire arrangements, sometimes demand
ing another play and other actors on
the morning of the day tho piece was
to bc acted. II wish 1t to he so. 1t Is
your business TO find the means" he
would say TO the grand chamberlain.
NJ. dc ltcmusnt. who was the director of
court theatricals. Then messengers
would be dispatched postliastc for the
requisite property" and persons, tho
whole day passing In excitement and
suspense for the principals involved.
Finally. after infinite trouble and worry
on all sides. the play would be produc-
cd. and Napoleon. sitting prcoccrlpicd
in his box, would fall into rcvcric or
80 10 sleep. Said Tallcyrand to NJ. de
Rcmusat. Yours is an impossible task
amusing the Unamusable"
His personality was more than mas
terful; 1t was Ovcrbcarlng to the point
Of petty persecution. and that. too, on
occasions when a ruler OH trial should
appear at his best.
"Ihe absence Of the emperor was al
ways relief" says Nine. do Remusat.
"If people did not speak more freely
they seemed better able to breathe. and
this sense Of alienation was especially
to be observed in persons connected
with his government.
when he had. to use his own expires.
sion. reused up everybody all around,
he felt satisfied With the terror he had
excited and. appearing u forget what
had passed, resumed his customary way
OF life.
IF anybody had been conscious Of
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-16
CtArlie's Parents.

While waiting one evening at my
friends house for him | was pleasant
ly entertained in the drawing room by
his wife. Our conversation drifted to
tie use and abuse Of tobacco, when
Mrs. \. said:
Il am sorry to say that Charles
smokes. and cigarettes too. I can smell
Il on his clothes. | wouldn't have his
father know it for anything. He hates
tobacco in all its FORMS"
Shortly after. Charles and his father
having come in To dinner. | noticed
Mrs. y. get up and carefully remove
her sons coat to a peg OH the hall rack
quite distant from his fathers. After
dinner Mr.. \. and | went to keep an
engagement with a third friend. On
our way home who should we pass but
Charles smoking Il cigarette.
My friend said: Il am so afraid that
boys mother will get on to- the fact
that he smokes. She dislikes tobacco
so. especially cigarettes. know it
would break her heart. Don't mention
ii. for goodness sake
Like wise diplomat. concluded not
to Interfere Albany Journal.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-16
Honesty as q Policy.

a judge and a party of lawyers We're
discussing various maxims when one
of the lawyers said:
"Wcll judge, do you really believe
honesty is the best poli.y:"
"I'll answer chat question ~ sto-
ry," replied the judge. when I was
practicing law one day in the interests
of Il client | said to man:
"'Do you own large black dog with
white spots?'
He looked at me quizzically and
then said
Ion, no. That dog is merely a stray
canine that occasionally strolls into
my yard. You're the tax assessor.
aren't you?'
"'No. I'm only lawyer. came to
tell you that client of mine had acct
dentally shot and killed the big dog
and authorized me 10 pay the owner
SO damages. But as the animal has
no owner, why. of course there's moth
ing to pay. Good morning. "--Cleve.
land Leader
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-16
XIV.
NUMEROUS instances OF Napo.
Icons smallness and even petit.


u ness OF mind are found In the
"reminiscences Of the men and
women who shared his daily life. He
was a bad loser" in any enterprise
whatsoever, mad If luck was against
him he Invariably resortcd to sulks or
trickery. Snys the Duchesse d'Abrantes:
even Mt chess he always managed
to regain possession Of his two bishops.
lie did not like any one to remark upon
1t seriously and was always the first to
laugh ut It himself. but he was clearly
annoyed If too much stress were laid
upon 1t, and, after ALL as he never
played for money. there was more rea-
son TO laugh than to be annoyed at It,"
He was haunted by mean suspicious.
His minister Of police. Fouche, writing
Of his system Of surveillance. declares:
"rhls odious and secret militia was
Inherent in n system raised and main.
tanned by the most suspicious and mis-
trustful man that perhaps ever exist
ed
And also:
"Thc tragic death Of Paul I. Of Rus.
sia inspired Bonaparte with melancholy
ideas and mHde his disposition still
more suspicious and nistrustful. He
dreamed of nothing but conspiracies in
the army and caused several general
officers to be arrested. among others
Humbcrt. whom l had some difficulty
in saving from his inflexiblc severity
lie was morbidly sensitive on tho
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-16

ut was given 10 a Suluier Iur urdvef
at Austerlitz by tho great NAPOLEON.
said he. And, God rest him! the SOL
der he died OF his wounds And TO me
he left the medal in trust for some
man, the most brave intrepid, honor
able. Msieur D'ri. have the pleasure
to put IT where it belongs"
D'ri shifted his weight looking
down at the medal and blushing like
boy.
Much obleeged." he said presently.
Dunno but mebbe better put it n
my wallet. 'Fraid II lose it off
o there"
He threw at me glance of inquiry.
NO" said I. do not bury your hon
Ors in a wallet"
He bowed stilly, and as he looked
down at the medal, went away, spurs
clatterlng.
Therese came in presently, her face
full of vivacty and color.
"M'sicur lo Capitaine,' said she. eve
are going for little ride. the marquis
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-16
THE STEAMER STEWARD.
A Busy Man Who Carries u Heavy
Load CT RcspOnsibi1ity.

Load CT Rcsponsibility.
The comfort nf the passenger de
Ponds perhaps more on the vigilance
and executive ability of the chief stew
ard than any one else. He il is who or
ders the supplies for The voyage has
minute knowledge Of what the store
rooms and rcfrccrators contain and
sees that the menu for each meal H.
ample. well cooked and dnntily served.
He makes ARRANGEMENTS in port for
the entire trip. plans each days meals
at sea and with hle assistance of the
chief cook gets ILL the menu card. You
will find him mornings III his office.
just of the grand staircase, making
up his books ana records. but during
TIE rest IF the iHy he is all over the
ship. now taking a look nj the store
rooms far below to 500 that groceries
and provisions are rightly served ont
to the cooks now inspecting the re
frigcrators 10 n0rr the temperature
and again WATCHING The butchers with
precise knowledge Of how meats shol!
be cut and seeing that they are dcliv
right quantities.
All these things he is responsible for.
But that is by no means all He must
also keep a minute record % all trans
actions OF this sort ami must have a
wntchful eye mp the passengers 10
note that his lcuteuant, among ;hc
men are giving them prompt and
cheerful service. lie has Il record of
every passenger travelling with him
and all the details connected with his
journey. II you sailed with him last
year or twenty years ago he can refer
TO his books and tel You the date Of
the voyage. its duration, your room
and seat and table ana Just what
die stewards served to you.-Bookloy-
ers' Mag zinc.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-16
CHAPTER XIX

ID II and ! left the chateau that aft
crnoon, putting up in The red tavern
AT Morristown about dusk.
MY companion rode away proudly
the medal dangling at his waistcoat
| lapel.
'Jerushy Jane" said he, presently
as he pulled rein. Amt a-goin' { hey
| 'het foppin' there sO-meks me feel
lux bird. Don't seem nohow nat'ral.
VIVA d We s'pose he gin me tibet air
thing fer"
He was putting j, away carefully in
his wallet.
AS a token Of respect for your
bravery said |.
His laughter Yoared in the still
woods. making my horse lift and snort
little. Ii was never an easy Job to
break any horse TO D'iis laughter.
IT'S rccdic1ous.' said he, thought
fully, in moment.
"Why?"
Cause fer tho reason why they
don't no man deserve nuthin' fer dom
what he d orter.' he answered. with
serious and determined look.
"You did well.' said i, END deserve
anything you can get"
Done my damdest,' said he. But
| did mt do nuthn' but git licked. Got
shot an tore an slammed all over
tibet air deck. an could mt do no harm
Nobody. Jos LUX boss lied n the
stall, an a lot o. mon whain' i'm, an
a Int ia !,
VIVA d yc s'pose tibet air things
made I'VE" he inquired, after little
silence.
Silver" said l.
Pure silver?"
"Undoubtedly," was my answer.
Judas PRIEST" said he. taking out
his wallet again. to look at the trophy.
"Thet air mus be with suthin,"
More than years salary" said l.
He looked uD at me with sharp
whistle Of surprise.
cain no great hand fer sech funny
diddles,' said he, as he put the medal
away.
ITS badge OF honor" said |.
1T shows you re brave man."
Got 'nough on EN-" said D'ri.
This ere rip n the forehcad's bout
all the badge | need"
Its from the emporor-the great
Napoleon" said. 1T s a mark of his
pleasure"
wall by Judas Priest.' said D'rl,
i would MT jump over a stump or
stun wall Z please no emp'ror. an
! would nj cut of my leetle finger fer
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-16
I;iaMcL 1t ON the Mountain Air.

A new pcest arrived at a New Hamp-
shire farmhouse W here Il Boston gentle
man happened to lie holding forth on
the piazza. The newcomer was much
impressed by the speakers fiuency.
II declare" he remarked to the land
lord, that man has an extensive vo-
cabulnry. hasn't hc:'
The landlord was nightly pleased.
"Thats So" he said. That's what
mountain air will do for n man. He
amt been boArdin' with me but two
weeks, and | know he must have let
his wastband out much as four times"
Rochester Herald.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-16
WOMlan'a Way.

Jack sent me II handsome mirror for
a birthday present"
THAT accounts for the funny ques-
ton he asked me last night"
"What did he ask you:"
''lf woman ever got too old to be
pleased with looking glass" Pitts
burg Gazette.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-16
WatcrlOgEcd.

A little girl, when recovering from
scarlet fever. drank great deal of
water. Her nerves were weak. and
The cried for slight causes. II
wouldn't cry" said her mother, rs the
tears began 20 come. How can
help it." sohbcd the child. when ]
nm SO full Of water"
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-16

hnd ]. Will you come with lis? You
Fhal have the best horse in the sta
Bic"
And you my best thanks for the
lonor," | said.
Our horses came up presently. and
he all made off at a quick gallon
The forest avenues were now aglow
Ind fitted with hay sunlight as with
food. through which yellow leaves
were slowly sinking. Our horses went
o their fctlocls in the golden drift
'he marquis rode on at rapid pace,
put soon Therose pulled rein | keep
ng abreast of her.
'You have news for me-. mann
elle?" | remarked
Indeed. have much news" said
he. as always. in French. Il was
fraid you were not coming in time,
n sieur."
She took a dainty letter from her
bosom. passing it to me.
My old passion flashed UP as took
he perfumed sheets. felt my heart
quicken, my face burn with it. | was
o have good ncWs at last of those
,,oa ho+,,, ,hor ,,r 1;ro .hoeo + no.,
''' ' ",'
OF Iorsot'en moment IN all me peril
pr war. | saw the handwriting of
-Ouson and then vision of her-the
hrge eyes, the supple, splendid figure,
he queenly bearing, 1t read:--
My Dear Therese: At last they promise
return Us to you on the 18th of OctO-
er. You are to send two rhen for us--not
nore-to the head of Eagle island of
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-16
Feminine View Of 1t.

Her Husband-I suppose woman
would have to be quite philosopher to
be Indifferent to her appearance. She
She'd have to be lunatic.--Brooklyn
Life.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-16

~ en- 1crOr' my CmpcrOr'
Thy face is fair to 500.
hv house is old thv heart IL rol,
Oh, take Command If mo,
emperor, nv .muc,nr,
Thy sceptrc is Of Gnd.
through an M, DAYS m .i,., a.. ri.
And trombIo # iIv nao '
But, Dear Theresa. Won ought IN hour
he music: | HAY. quite silruri.,d myself
ndcod love /. = grand thtr,1.. Z. has ,,a,Ia
he uOhler and stroup,,. 'rb.,. r,,ll,. u,,,
am not s. fish any mar. Nut am
cary Of waitinr hero and ca o,,r.r "a
ot home Ynu are i'm ln,,a AND van b.,,.,
ecu through This cn,tntir,, Of tbc h,,,rs
We are very comfortanlr nor. ANA, tI,e,.
Ms go ana conn ms We ijlt, ns,do m,
ieh wills ! have tn,d vo,, trcr,. is ,
he bic nro.,,o ANA ,,o,d.n
W. eow ,,o,,,imo ~ 49,, lo,..,a,,i,,, cor
ccks until thro. DAYS ago whom they
rought him here wounded THAT j. IN.
.asou we could not send Won a letter be.
h, and or,.1,o, rn, ,b',,,. i,lt'',,,' VII
c sent for Louise jhat day he came.
he went +" him badly frightened. poor
,'nI a. lno'' Il, we ~. w'h' ''' ''y III
lho cane bncl, cr>ira ard wo,',d n"t ,oll
that he had said. / Go think ne loves
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-16
Through the Telescoue.

Upgardson-iou were in a railway
car once when II was tclescoped. What
was the sensation? Atom 1t made me
see stars.-ExChangC.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-16

II You like TO read and have many
books, he careful lest You read too
much and think too little.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-16
OF Course.

TOmmy-Pop. what makes the foun-
tain play: Tommy's Pop-The water
works. my son.-Philadelphia Record.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-16

A worthless man always has his sign
out.-Atchison Globe
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1905-03-16

'i'ii Wv lUtt uIT iS.duu
amt. We c'u'd paddle there in a day
from our cove"
And that was the way We planned
to Go-by canoe from our landing
and wait for the hour at Paleyville, a
Yankee village opposite the island.
We would hire team there. and con-
vcy the party by wagon to Leraysyille.
We were off at daybreak. and going
over tho Hills at lively gallop. Cross
ing to Caraway pike. In the Cedar
meadows, an hour later. we stampeded
a lot Of moose. One Of them, a great
BULL ran ahead of lis. roaring with
fright, his antlers rafting upon bush
and Dough, his black bell hanging to
the fcrn-tops
Don never wan { hey no argument
with one o them air chaps less We
know purity nigh how t s comm out :"
said D'ri. "Alwus want gun es well
es purity middlin' ca-a-areful aim on
your side. Then We re apt t. need a
tree, tew, fore ye git through with II :"
After moments pause he added:
Got { be jOemightyful stout tree. or
he II shake We out NV 1t LUX a ripe ap-
ple."
They always have the negative side
ut the question" ] said. Don't be-
lieve they d ever chase man if he d
let 'em alone"
"Yis. stree, they would" was D'ris
answer. II We he'd 'em come right
efter me fore ever | c'u'd lift a gun.
Ye see. they re jest es Gurus bout a
man es man IL bout them. Ef they
can't smell i'm they re terrible GURUS.
Jes wan { see what S inside Nv i'm
an what kind NV q smellin' crittcr he
Is. Dunno es they wan t dew i'm any
pertic'lar harm. Jes' wan L mux i'm
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-04-14
A NARROW
ESCAPE
Mrs. o'Conne1l Was Going Into Con-
sumption Brought on by Neglected
ColdE-Father Johns Medicine Cured
Her.


l had a severe bronchial trouble,
brought on by neglected colds, and had
a bad cough. l was sure I was slowly
going into consumptio when l thought
would try Father John.s Medicine.
That is over year ago now. / am all
right now. 1 had not finished one bottle
before l found that the medicine was
doing me good, and before long l was
entirely well again. Whenever any of
us have the slightest cold the first thing
to suggest Is Fathers Johns Medicine.
also give it to MY little girl any time
she has cold, and it cures the cold and
makes her strong. (SigneO
MRS. MARGARET O'CONNELI.,
135 Broadway, South Boston.
Fathers Johns Medicine prevents
Pneumonia and Consumption and cures
all Throat and Lung Troubles No al
cohol or poisonous drugs. Cures colds
or money back
Sold in soc and s1.O0 bottles. The 81
size contains three times the quantity
of the soc size
Ask your druggist for Father's Johns
Medicine.