Los Angeles herald., 1905-11-24
and Pick-UpS
The "Ad" Lady

I see you every day;
And every time 1 look at you,
You're garbed another way!
Sometimes, in gorgeous gown and hat,
For some pink-tea bedight;
Sometimes in flowing robe-du-nuit
All ready for the night
Anon, in fluffy petticoats,
And boudoir dressing sack;
And then, in party gown arrayed,
No accessories lack.
At intervals, en- negligee;
Again in stays and hose;
And erstwhlle Chow I blush to sayD
You haven't any clothes!
Fair Lady OF tho Dry Goods "ad"
You always look a swell;
Really, rye seen SO much OF you,
feel know you WE'LL
cuba has a surplus Of $i,5OO,OOO. Send
Shaw down there for a few lessons.
Norway pays it's king 100000. Huh;
could have had "a president for a quar-
ter of that!
In a Cafe
Mr. Break Fast--Hey, waiter
Waiter-Sorry, sir; just out. Got
corn or oats!
A New York man wants separate
churches for the sexes. Anyone glanc-
ing over the average congregation now
would say most churches were for
women only.
McCurdy is so generous! He has cut
his salary in half; he only draws $751;
the president of the United States.
Mr. Palm-Let us become one!
Miss Pine-Yes; but which one?
Paul Morton says Americans don't
want cheap insurance. How do they
know, when they've never had a chance
to try it?
Chicago is arguing "Is it right to
steal to keep off starvation" What's
the use in arguing when that's the ne
cessity there?
That New York man who taught his
wife to box and now wants a divorce
for beating she gave him isn't en-
titled to much sympathy.
He Took Two Fingers
Jake Adams of Pike county won't
"take dare" and that is why Owen
GAM of the same county has two
fingers less than the usual quantity.
owen held out q bottle of whisky and
dared Jake to shoot it out of his hand,
which Jake promptly proceeded to do,
smashing the bottle and badly lacera-
ting two of OWENS fingers. 1t was
good disposition to make of the
whisky, and Jake maintained his repu-
tatlon as a good shot, but it is hard
on Owen.-Brookfield (Mo.) Gazette.
Eight men caught on election frauds
in New York city. Hearst only needs
about $500 odd now to count himself
in.
Orange-Wonder what that Detroit
mans statue to Satan looks like.
Lemon-Looks like the devil!
That move to save Niagara Falls,
since the water is stolen for breakfa st
food factories, will get all the boarding
house vote.
"The Best Policy is a new novel.
But it doesn't name the company.
When Russia eliminates Is days from
ner calendar, she'll get rid of two very
bad weeks, all right.
The most expert stenographer in New
York city is engaged to take down
the story of Lillian Russells life. It's
a long tale, but no one ever thought
it was that bad.
An eastern man who just died left
all his money to woman who had
Tilted him in earlier life. Thankful for
his escape, perhaps
The Warsaw Zapadnyjooloo has sus-
pended. No one could sell it; every
newsboy that tried to cry it broke his
jaw.
Poppy--How do you know she's en-
gagged?
Magnolia-Silly! Didn't you just
hear her deny it?
Wouldn't it be horrible revenge If
young Mr.. Hyde should become a
French citizen and then get himself
appointed ambassador to the United
States.
Has Mary MacEane yet sent note of
thanks to that Detroit man who erected
statue to Satan?
Turkey
Gobblei Gobble!
Struttin about;
or Mistah Turkey,
Bettah watch out!
Out in tn banya'd,
Swelled up proud;
OF Mistah Turkey,
Odah youah shroud!
Gobble! Gobble!
Huh! l expect
Days soon comm when
You git 1t in de neck!
w. H. c.