Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1905-09-30
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makeup. FIX.
Doctor-Do you talk in your sleepr
Patient-No, talk in other peoples.
I'm Brooklyn Life.
Boo Smith is sick abed." Has he
got anything DANCE ous?" Wen, he's
got young DR., Jones. Town Topics.
Knicker-ls he successful bust
ness man? Bockcr-I suppose so, he
boasts that he is going to be investi-
gated.--Puck.
Hushand-Well. l must say that all
fools are not dead yet! Wife (affec-
tionately)-l'm glad OF it. dear
never look well in hlack.-Ilustrated
Bits.
Tommy, why is Il that you are al
ways lighting with little Willie Bus
kirk Cause he can't run as fast
as me n I can lick Chicago
Record Herald
That man says n dishonest dollar
never passed through his hands" Not
, II he could help it," answered Senator
Sorghum; 'he always held on to it,
Washington Star.
Genius, he said. should never be
hampered with the cares of family"
+ Mistake" said the married man, "in
this extravagant age it takes genius
to keep Il family"
Citi2en-What possible excuse did
You fellows have for acQuItting that
murderer? Juryman-Insanity. Citi-
zcn-Gee, The whole twelve of your
cleveland Leader.
CitiHen-~Why don't you nominate
good, honest incorruptlble man for
this office? Polltician--W What's the
use? Wen have good majority with
out it."-Cleyeland Leader.
Poor fellow. | pity him, The en-
gaccmcnt Is ut an end" Gracious!
DO Won mean to say the girl has gone
back on himy" Worse than that!
She has been married TO him"
PA" asked Tommy, what's the
difference between assurance and
insurance." "WclI, my son, one is
what the agent has and the other il
what he persists in trying to sell you"
Teachcr~-If a man gets four dollars
for working eight hours a day. what
would he get If he worked ten hours
n day? Johnny-Ten hours day?
Gee! He'd get n call-down from de
union
Now" said the teacher, who had
ben giving nm elementary talk upon
architecture. ''can any little hoy tell
me what a 'buttress' ISL II know"
shouted Tommy Smart. "A nanny
goat"
Sympathetic Lady-Very sad that
| your husband should have lost his
leg! How did II happen? Mrs Mug
giles Why, he got run over by one O.
these ere satisfaction engines. MISS
Punch
Mrs. Backmeddcrs-Wh what's them
numbers on the automobile fer,
that's the feller's score. II shows how
many folks he's run over.--Chicago
Daily News.
Mike said Flooding Pete" don't
you wish dot you was one o desc here
trust magnatcsT Nav" was the an
swcr, "it 'ud he too much like tradIn'
off n good appetite fur a case o dys-
pcpsy."- Washington Star.
stop" she cried; III you dare to
put your arms around me ! shall"
WHAT" he asked when she hestatcd.
"IIumph." she replied, "if you had
any spunk you'd 90 ahead aud find
out. Chicago Record Herald
"Dat dog q mine" said MIR Eras-
tus Plnkly, keeps on a-tryin to whup
cy'y four footed crittcr dat comes
down de road HE must be a fight
err" NO. sub He amt no fighter.
But he don seem able to rcconile de
fack."
we had quite n prominent actor ~
guest at our house the other even
ing" "Graclous' didn't you find 1t
( hard to entertain himW "Oh. no, we
Just handed him bunch Of photo
graphs and his own WINS among them.
He amused himself FOR hours "--PhiIa-
dclphia Press.
i Miss Oldgold Before | give you my
answer, Count tell me one thing
When my freshness Of youth IL gone,
ana the hand Of time has diminished
whatever beauty possessed, when nd
yanciug years cause my cheeks 10 fade
,,d me charms Ia yauish--tglI me