Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-09-23

Loaded fllll, go rafting Dy.
Mark Twain on his last visit to his
birthulace-Hannibal. Mo.-tOld to the
school children true story about
sChoolboy.
ing very ILL., His groans alarmed the
household. The doctor was sent for and
came post haste.
We'll said the doctor as he entered
the sick loom, what is the trouble?'
"A pain in my side, said the boy.
Amy pain in the head
Yes. sir.
lis the right hand stiff
"A little
How about your right foot?'
That's stiff, too"
The doctor winked at the boys moth
Well. he said, you're pretty sick.
But you'll be able to go to school on
Monday: Let me see. today is Saturday
lis today Saturday. said the boy in a
vexed tone. 4 thought it was Friday
Half an hour later the boy declared
packed him off to sns sc6o o up or il wa tney
day, after ALL"
The guide who was taking a party Of
American excursionists through the Holy
Here" he said. lis the place where
Lots wife looked back and was turned
into pillar OF salt"
II don't see no evidences of her" OBJ
jected the tall, slender Missourian with
the chin beard. looking around search
ingly.
joined the guide. that the incident took
place thousands of years ago, and there
have been many hard transforms since
then Chicago Tribune.
January Jones, a Nevada miner, has
been four an1
our prohibition laws still excite his won
der.
II have visited a good many of your
prohibition states" he said the other day
in Philadelphia, and it seems to me
that the people drink there just the same
as in London or Paris, or in Nevada.
Did you ever hear of the conjurer,"
who gave performance in a prohibition
town? In the course of his entertain
ment the man needed pint flask of
"A pint flask Of whisky. please he
said, going UP and down the aisle with
inquiring locks to left and right. Who
will lend be a pint flask of whisky?'
The audience was large one, but
there was no reply.
!" What is this?' said the coniuror
Surely in prohibition town, | don't
whisky?
Then after a moment of silence. a
dignified man in black arose and said:
well?'
Sure SAID the conjuror.
ros ahereupon' 4, as s one &c MN the audience
each and every right hand"
The London season" was particularly
active this year. and the crowded con-
dition of all the high class hotels re
minded a contributor of the Strand
Magazine" of game of billiards he once
played with a friend at West End hotel
at the height of a previous season. He
1t was close upon midnight. but for
half an hour or so We had noticed a |
weary looking American anxiously OBJ
serving our play. | may tell you we
Vous to have him watching We felt |
sure that he must be crack player BY |
ana by another spectator drifted in and |
took seat on the other side of the table
At last when the score was about 20 |
to .. the first man broke iii:
Excuse me. gentlemen" he said but |
can you tell me about when that game |
will be finishcd?"
We looked at one another
Are you waiting for game?" my |
friend asked
Well" replied the American. mot that |
exactly. l was thinking of having Il |
dream about home. and mother
We don't understand"
Don't you? Well. hate to hurry YOU |
gentlemen, but I've been waiting about |
playing on it, |
Then the second spectator smoke IN
'i our bed?" he exclaimed Pardon me
That billiard tables my bed. | got il re-
served at the Office the first thing after |
breakfast. this morning" |
When Mr.. and Mrs. Grant removed
from the city of New York and purchased |
4 home in Maine village one of their |
M rsa visits to Select ws to br the
remarked. and life is uncertain, so we /
had better attend to it during this dry |
spell while the walking is good"
IL occurred to Mrs. Grant that This Nyas
hardly a sufficient reason for so prompt |
a decision. but she made no objection 10
the plan and their first walk was to the |
cemetery.
There seems to be good deal of room |
on on, the high land remarked Mrs. Grant
Its too high" objected Mr.. Grant.
that's too much Of a hill to climb. Let's
look down toward the lake"
The lots toward the lake pleased Mrs
Grant. even better than the hill. There
frederi el she SAID, lets decide upon |
Mr.. Grant looked at his wife in sur
G GTd think Won M bad he replied
shouldn think of being buried in This
low, marshy place. It's the unheaItbias9
spot in the whole cemetery"
On the pier. smoking and chatting, sat
= Iolnner OF Young statesmen in shops |
ana stores enjoying their vacation.
MY work with the druggist is anus
lng. one said. The other day woman
same IN and asked for the secret OF
IMAGINATION. She meant citrate Of mag.
nesla; paroxigon of igide was ordered
m II. = ietter from blonde LADY who ought I
70 nave known better than to write
peroxide OF hydrogen like that"
don't like our shoe department"
sad itl a second young man. still it has
lls ood SIDE: A little man last month
came IN to be fitted. His size was Ave
ana the style that suited him cost ss50
~. ne round that the extra large sizes OF |
.nls Style-tens and elevens-were reduced |
70 q dollar and a quarter. So he bought a
pair Of tens. put them on. and stumped
out; proud and hoppy."
a boy cnce presented a note from
me doctor that said. -Four ounces Of
vaSeiine. to be well rubbed in thrice
weighed and bottled the vaseline, but
didn't label tive are not DRUGGISTS |
you know-and the next day the bows
aunt came back with the empty vascline
bottle and said:
will you please give me doubIaJ
quantity this time? It's the only kind
Df jelly that will lay on our NilIie.s
stomach In his awful weak condition
t..