Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1905-12-07
By J.R. HAMMOND

n ABRIEL sHoBE was seated
II astraddle Of a log, at the end
OF which was a hollow, out Of which
he had just taken a gallon jug. Ex-
tracing a corncob from the mouth
of the jug, he applied his lips to the
orifice from which the cob had been
taken, elevated the jug, threw his
head back, and, with his gaze d.
rected heavenward and his thoughts
fixed on the crossroads grocery where
the nectar had been obtained, allowed
portion of the precious contents Of
the jug to gurgle down his throat.
Having tested the utmost capacity Of
his interior for receiving and contain
ing liquids, without, however, in the
least appeasing his appetite therefor,
he lowered his jug, and, inserting the
cob in the mouth, replaced it in the
hollow stump and, covering it with
leaves, resumed his seat on the log,
and sollloquized thus:
EFF Jim Peters thinks I'm gwine
to let him and Sue marry, he's mighty
mistaken. I'd like to know how Bets
and me and the children would git
along without old Brindle. We'd
starve, that's what we'd do"
Old Brindle, as Shobe called her,
though she was only six years old,
when a calf had been given to his
daughter Susan by one Of her uncles
with the express understanding that
it was to be hers, and hers only, to
do with as she pleased. The calf had
grown to be a fine COW, whose milk
and butter formed about half the liv-
ing Of Shobe's family.
Jim Peters was a one.horse school.
| teacher, who divided his time about
equally between teaching school, loaf
ing around Bill Stickney's grocery and
hunting and fishing.
"The ornery cuss," continued Shobe,
"he's ashamed to show his face in
daylight, and so he comes a sneakin'
around in the night 'Feard Nv
ghosts, too. Wish I had a loollin'.
glass here to see what sort NV a ghost
I'd make" and, picking up a sheet
that he had brought with him, he
wrapped It around him in the most
approved ghost style.
"G guess I'll make a bully old ghost
in the dark" said he; and, resuming
his seat on the log in his ghostly
attire, he awaited the approach of
darkness, which was now near at
hand.
The earth having at length donned
its mantle of darkness, Shobe came to
perpendicular, remarking at the same
time:
al guess it's about time Jim wuz
navigatin' along this way"
Starting for the road along which
he expected Jim to navigate" on
reaching the stump in which his jug
hid, the temptation was too strong to
resist; so reaching down, ne drew ii
forth once more, remarking as he did
so: II guess I'll have to give Sweet
Lips another buss before l co." and
turning 1t up, took another hearty
swig. Returning the jug to its place
Of concealment, he resumed his ghost
ly march in the direction Of the road
Leaning his back against a tree that
grew near the road, or, rather, path
way, along which he expected his pros
pective, though undesired, son-in-law
to pass, he waited with most ex
emplary patience the arrival of that
interesting Individual for the space oil
perhaps two minutes and half
At the end Of that time, his patience
being nearly, and his legs quite, ex
hausted, he eased himself down to 6
sitting posture, his back being still
against the tree, in which position he
remained for another two minutes anG
half, when his patience and backbone
being both exhausted, his head
dropped over to one side, his body II
state of llmpness followed in the
direction of the head. and the mex
moment Gabriel Snobe was reclininG
on the ground, from which, and i'm
mediately under him, some half-dozeI
short stubs projected.
Scarcely had he struck the grounC
when he was asleep, and snoring with
an energy in striking contrast to tha
usually displayed by him in the ordi
nary avoeStlOns Of life, the sounC
whereof could only be compared to thu
combined efforts of half dozen hant
saws ripping their way erosswis,
through as many dry boards. Thi
music was not allowed to waste Ii
sweetness on the desert air, for, man!
minutes before, the footsteps Of an ap
preaching auditor were arrested b,
the sound.
whats thatT' whispered Jim Pu