The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1905-07-01

any germs in this milk Z" ''NOt that
know OF. No extra charges il there
are" ls#E
Knicker- Didn't the doctor build
you up? Bocker-.Yes; but he seems
70 think he built q bank.-Harpera
Bazaar, % @tl.s ~ f@& ~ =
WilliamThere's one thing abou,
Miss Charming's house / don't like
Arthur-What'S that7 WiIliam-Hel
father. tas - y s.ss.,. ,3'I7T-sI
Meekly-Yes, we're going to move
to swamphurst Doctor-But the ell
mate there may disagree with your
wire. Meekly-Tt wouldn't dare!--T1t-
Bits. H;aas8 h 1T -.
Teacher-Now, Johnny, II your papa
caught one fish Of three pounds, one of
live and one Of four, how much would
they all weigh? ,Johnny-Twenty-
Harper's Bazaar.
Mrs. Flynn-An phwats yer son
Moike DOM now, Mrs. Casey3 Mrs
Casey--Shure, Moike ain't doin' amy.
thing, Mrs. Flynn. He's got a COVER
ment Job.-Sls Hopkins Book.
Hes thorough Bohemian is Jack"
cried an actor in praise Of an acquaint-
ance. He'd give you his last shilling
without thought Of repayment" Eyes,
or borrow yours ON the same termsr
responded his friend. ... ...
Dditor-So you want a position az
weather reporter. en-? What do you
know about reporting the weather?
Hiram Boots-What do l know? Gosh,
I've got the biggest cornB In this here
eounty.-Chicago News. ...t
Mamma-There! You have a black
eye and a bloody nose and your coat
is torn to bits. How many times have
told you not to play with that bad
Brown boy7 Bobby-Gee, ma! Do I
look like we'd been e-playin' ?-Cleve-
land Leader.
Modern Mother-Why, child alive
what are you taking Off that dolly'a
clothes for? Modern Child-Pm going
to canine her to see If she's been vac
cinated. can't have 'erspreadin
'tag1on among my other dollies-Balti'
more American.
"Oh! Ouchl Stop thatP' yelled Tom
my. why, Tommy, aren't you asham
edT exclaimed his mother. II wouldn'1
cry like that II 1t were my hair that
was being combed." "I'll bet you
would IL I was dom the combin'," re
piled Tommy, flercely.-CatholIc Stand
ard.
You can't show me q single rea
son." clustered the pater familias
"why we should 60 to the seashort
| this summer" "WhatY" cried hi
| wife, pointing to their quartet of mar
riageable daughters, u can show yol
} four single reasons. "-Philadelphl'
= Press.
what a nice little boy" said thu
minister, who was making a call
won't you come and shake hands
my sonT NAV" snapped the nic'
little boy. my gracious! Don't yO'
like me?" NAV! I had ter git mi
- hands an face washed jist becaus
you come"
There was a smell Of cookies in tn
, kitchen when Tommy made his morn
, ing call on his grandmother. Il sup
: pose you have Just had your breakfast
+ Tommy" she said, land you're no
hungry" "Gran'ma," he answered
t boys is always hungry."-Chicag
| Tribune.
Jim Persimmons-I reckon OATS
! ten horsepower automobile! P@@'
Possum-Wot! You reckon dat MT
: chimes got ten times as much powe
as dis horse O. mine? Jim Persln
mons-No; twenty times as much; dd
looks like a one-haIf horsepower hors
dat you got dar!-Puck.
Clara-You don't mean to say 20
have been out skating ali the aftel
noonl should think you'd be awful
tired. l suppose there was no plac
where you could sit DOWN. Kate-Ol
yes, there were places all over th
pond. l used them all, guess.-CiI
cinnati Commercial Tribune.
Miss Screech-He said something
YOU about my singing last night, dtdn
he? Miss Peppery-Well, he did r.
mark how funny the corners Of you
mouth looked when you sang. "Tt
idea! How could he have seen them
why not? He was sitting direct
behind you while you sang."-Cathol
Standard and Times.
A lady entered a railway station nj
hundred miles from Edinburgh IL
other day, and said she wanted tick
for London. The pale-looking clel
asked: "SingleT ut amt any Of yo'
business" she replied. II might ha7
been married a dozen times If I'd Ill
the providin' for some poor shiftie
wreck of a man like you"
The editor Of country paper +
Gently apologized to his readers I
the lack of news somewhat after Il
following fashion: I'VE expected
have a death and a marriage to a
nounce this week; but violent stor
prevented the wedding, and the doct
himself, having been taken Ill his
tent recovered and ", were accor
ingly cheated out of both"