Free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1888-1908, 1905-12-23
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The Swell Christmas
Dinner on the Yukon


"That means plenty. l suppose.
said the agent.
''Of course; got any?"
i've some extra dry. SIS case.
replied the agent in his most business
like tone.
Send up two cases.
Now" said the host briskly. these
matters being settled, how about
eggs2"
There are the suicides eggs" muir.
INJURED the agent.
What" said the host incredulousiy
did that man who hanged himself
with wire from beam in his cabin
have fresh eggs?"
why, didn't you know said the
agent with surprise, lit was broodins
on $4,000 eggs that caused him to con-
nit suicide. He thought they were all
bad, you see."
s'But they weren't all bad, only he
didn't find it out until after he was
dead, protested the agent with grin
81 was a member of the coroner's jury
that sat on the case. and when we IN
vestigated the effects of deceased we
found sixteen barrels of fresh eggs
worth 81 a dozen.
Let me tell you what 10 do when
you go to buy your eggs, continued
the agent, not noticing the interrupt
ton. Take pocketfui of money,
cold chisel and hammer"
whats all that for?" asked the
host with show of interest.
Well. you see the eggs are in lard,
like holes in a cheese, and the lard is
nr0hatG
court has charge of the matter and
they sell the eggs for 81 dozen in
| the lard, purchasers risk. You have
to get 'em out yourself. If you get six
whole eggs out of a dozen you are a
dandy. They won't let you use
steam thawer because it would boil all
the eggs. l want to tell you that the
| probate court of this town is strictly
on to its job.
| rs there anything else that you
| want that you don't see?"
Yes" replied the host. 81 want
roses. They are my choice But IN
latitude Ga degrees north. and in the
dead of an Arctic winter, one might
as well wish for chunk of Polaris
20 don't know" said the agent en-
| couragingly, 'how would a dozen
| Jacks and a dozen American beauties
do, with few sprays of apple bios
SONS to lay on the tables"
whats the use of trying to be
funny" said the host in an injured
tone. Its not in the least becoming.
The agent made no reply to this but
quietly stepped into the other room
and returned presently with birch
bark vase in each hand. One contain
ed a large bunch of magnificent JAG
uueminots and the other an equally
handsome lot of American beauties
well, I'll be-jiggered," said the
host catching himself just in time,
you could knock me down with
feather"
That's what they are" said the
agent complacently.
SPRAY a little perfume on 'em and
after about two of the generals lash
ms nobody could tell EN-" said the
agent.
"where did YOU get them?" asked
the host with interest
90" said the agent, who was inclin-
ed to be poetical, they fluttered down
from the wings of Aurora!
.Fluttered down from the wings OF
geese" replied the host, who was not
in the least so.
well, they are goose feathers" adj
mitted the agent reluctantly, but you
needn't be so disgustingly matter OF
fact about it. Besides I've got the ap-
pie blossoms upstairs in the store.
Il must be getting home" said the
host. worrning himself awkwardly into
his squirrel skin parkie. Dinner at D
o'clock sharp, and don't forget to send
up all the stuff, including Louis, the
marrow bones and the roses. Good
night" and off he went-Samuel Hub
bard, Jr., in Sunset Magazine