The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1905-09-29


cent visit to the League Island navy
yard, in Philadelphia, certain omcer'
pointing to two launches that roue
side by side, said:
"See, Mr. Secretary, how Deautlui
that launch is, and how sturdy Is the
other
Secretary Morton smiled.
ITO compliment and compare
couple of launches in that way" ne
said, 'is safe enough. 1t would never
do however, to treat couple of ladies'
so.
There was n young man who once
went to dinner party, where he was
seated between noted beauty and
noted poetess. Looking to right ana
left, he said naturally enough:
Am l not lucky to be placed be-
tween beauty and talentY
1.-THE poetess did not like the young
| mans remark, and she said, haughti-
ly:
Not so very lucky, for you possess
| neither the one nor the other Gin
| cinnati Enquirer.
In Miladi's Boudoir.
Nothing, it is said, gives the aver
| age French fashionable woman such
| acute pleasure as to be scolded by her
| father confessor. Churches where the
| sharp-tongued priests hold forth on the
! follies of society and probe the fail
| ings of the rich, fashionable woman
are invariably crowded with smart
women, and the more arrogant and
dictatorial the preacher the greater
favorite is he with his audience. The
fame of the celebrated Pere Didon,
who never spared, was largely based
on his transcendent ability to give it
to them!' The sermon in which Pere
| Olivier declared that the charity
bazaar calamity was direct visitation
| from heaven upon the heads of the
wealthy, fashionable women who man.
aged the bazaar brought all fashion
able Paris to his feet Pere du Lac is
another preacher who has become cele-
brated through tongue lashings.
| With Charity for All.
Miss Lola IaFollette, the daughter
of the governor of Wisconsin, goes
on the stage this fall. A Madison
woman said of her the other day:
Miss LaFollette has ready and
rather caustic wit.
''At meeting that we held here for
charitable purpose, Miss LaFollette
was one Of those who passed through
the audience with plates for contribu-
tons.
| "a rich miser sat in the rear seat
| alone, and when Miss LaFollette ex-
tended her plate to him he said, grim
ly:
"'I have nothing-nothing
'The young girl knew the man was
wealthy, and with little smile she
said:
"Take something then. This col
lection, you know, is for the poor -
| Baltimore Herald.
Extreme Case of Absent NIindedness.
One of the clearest cases of absent
| mindedness on record was that of a
leading grocer of Duluth recently.
| Over the telephone came an order from
a wealthy customer for some oranges
to be delivered during the afternoon.
| What are the prices?" asked the GUS
toner. "Oh, we have them at all
prices, from 20 cents a dozen up"
"Well, I'm not particular about the
price. What | want is the quality and
| size" wait a moment please" He
went to the box containing his choicest
fruit, selected large, yellow sample,
| and fastened back to the phone. Hold
ing the orange aloft in one hand while
he grasped the telephone receiver with
the other, he said: "Will this kind
! do?"
When Greek Meets Greek.
Soon after Congressman Robert G..
Cousins advent at Washington he was
invited to a function of very stately
formality. Everything was new to him
then, even to the evening dress.