New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-10-13

take the disease, but this is quickly communicated
to the man of the household
THE second stage is manifested by a scanning Of
the advertising columns Of the daily prints. The
Advertisements for -rents'-a place to live in is
always a rent to aatite-are eagerly seized upon.
clipped and filed away for future reference.
The third stage is the most painful and marks
the last bridge between health and fatits- II is
a desire to move The painful part Of it is hunting
for rent The following out of this desire leads
70 the first mark of the disease plainly visible Ia
the observing ones on the street 1t is sort of a
springhat It may seem at first that springhalt
used in connection with person desiring to move.
is a misnomer. All the more so, perhaps, when
tell you that FAITHS is unusually prevalent in the
spring. I use the name advisedly, however. and
take from that poor relation of the physicians
profession the veterinary business.
"Springhalt IS an extra high lifting OF the feet
in walking. The knees are thrown VI while the
feet describe small circles outward from the heel
and toe line. This symptom is varied in persons
having incomes Of more than $500 year Such
persons have a peculiar bending Of the knees fol-
lowed Immediately by Strengthening. giving an
exceedingly ludicrous gait. In the first instance
hundreds OF times a day 10 reject rents In the
second case the victims use elevators in the more
expensive apartment houses, and the starting and
stopping cause the knee bending walk.
-, ms Drlngs 10 me something else; friend Of
favors a division; that is. instead of calling it all
one disease, to have one called FAITHS and the
other .apartmentaIia Such a distinction would
be entirely superficial, in my opinion.
But TO continue with my symptoms. After the
walk symptom had fairly well developed there ap-
pears another manifestation still more apparent 10
the laty 1t is fatface that I spoke of at first
Inc upturned nose and drawn mouth come
from expressing disgust inaudibly so as not TO
offend Janitors and hallboys. The assumption of
bravado in the face Of janitorial dignity that
companies the early disease all passes away and
fear and trembling, accompanied by a deep paIIor
ike whistle Of the speaking tube rumble
OF a dumbwaiter, take their accustomed place in
the life of a hatite
Real estate agents and custodans of houses
with flats or apartments take d grewsOme advan-
q DOCK away ny an agent, who stands ready TO
pounce out upon the unsuspecting victim with the
stereotyped question. DO you wish to see the
There are many other symptoms which are no,
SO common. but which are nevertheless very notice
able IN cases where they exist One of these is
a squirting Of the eye and bend in the back, &C
companied by q tendency 10 look in dark corners.
This symptom is not seen in every case, but it is
becoming fairly prevalent.
Il know of cufre for FAITHS as yet, except an
absolute change Of scene. Real estate dealers have
tried leasene but it is not effective In many cases.
and at best only affords temporary relief. LeaSene
is applied to the poCkerboOk of the patient A
In a real house. with at least six square feet of
ground in which the patient may scratch and dig
at will and imagine he is growing things. will be
effective in any but the most advanced stages
No. l am glad to say FAITHS is not usually
fatal In fact, I know of but one case in which
ueatn cOuld De traced wholly to hatltfs- This was
the case OF young who in the highest
developed stage Of the disease that in which ma
ngnant attacks occur at intervals OF two three
months. She was Just recovering from the second
attack that fall She called up the janitor to tell
Election had frozen in the mirror and she pow
eTless to remove It.
I'm awfully sorry" responded the janitor sweet
she dropped dead in her tracks. and her husband
on returning home that night. found her the
tended in its direction. An expression of utmost
peace was on her FAITHS distorted countenance.