Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-04-01
Stories Picked Up.

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Stories Picked Up.
There once was a certa in fair youth
Who had IL sharp pain in his touth;
So hard did it ache.
That it kept him awache,
And he hardly could tell you the trouth.
friend sent a fine large bouquet
or flowers that were fragrant and guet;
SAID sSal 1h Soon yo9 eohvali MoW guess
And he forthwith improved from that
duet
Said a frisky and frolicsome lamb,
10 ar ancient and learned old ramb,
81 find that | s1uint
Every time | smell mu;nt.
And I'm sorry to be what l amb.
\ maiden 10, once bought her toaue ;ao,,o.
It's a dream! said III" girl
As she tossed each fair Girl:
Said her father: I'm sorry you vogue.
Said Il mule to horse. IF you neigh,
There's only one thing l can sleigh;
You'll never be heard
For more than weard,
When, in earnest, l set out to breigh.'
A poet once fashioned rhyme
In praise OF the season and clhyme;
Said he. eff they buy.
The price will come huy.'
But the editor sent him dhyme
Town Topics.
In a suburb of New York city a priest
of one of the churches announced that
a collection would be taken up to de-
fray the cost bf coal for heating the
church. Nearfya everyone in the parish
contributed except one Muldoon. "A day
or so thereafter the priest. happening to
meet Muldoon, said:
Dennis why didn't you give some
thing towards the coal bill?"
Whereupon Dennis gave his reverence
sly wink.
Come, come. father" he said. 1.-The
idea of we THRIVING to make us believe the
money is wanted to buy coal for the
church. whin T.. as well as your rever-
ence, knows that it's heated by steam!'
She was little coquette. although not
more than years old. and when an at
tractive looking young woman took a
seat just behind her she climbed up to
get a good view of the newcomer over
the back of the seat. She then inquired
in a voice quite audible the length of the
car. Have you a little girl at home?''
The lady smiled and said No"
Have you a little boy?" persisted the
inquisitive little miss.
A negative answer followed. and after
a critical glance at the pleasing face of
her new acquaintance she demanded
Have you MANI" There was rosy
blush and n denial.
The little girl glanced sympatheticaIly
over the top of the seat and then her
face frightened. Have you got IA pup?'
she inquired, hopefully.
A philanthropist was soliciting aid for
foreign missions. and applied ito a gen.
tleman who refused him with the reply:
Il don't believe in foreign missions. l
want what l give to berefit my neigh
bors.'
Well" rejoined the caller. Whom do
you regard as your neighbors?"
why, those around me-
do you mean those whose land joins
yours?"
Yes"
How much land do you hold?"
About 500 acres"
And how far through the earth do you
think you own.
why, I never thought of it before,
but l suppose I own half way down.
Exactly" said the philanthropist. II
suppose You do. and / want this money
for the heather at the other side of the
world whose land adjoins yours at the
bottom
1T. p" recalls good story of British
piety on the eve of battle: A lieutenant
of H. M. S. Revenge. just before the
battle of Trafalgar, discovered one OF
the gunners ON his knees before his
gun.
What !he are you do
ing shouted the amazed and angry
you:'
Afraid" cried the gunner. scorr-
fuiiy, rising from his knees; mo, I'm
not afraid: l WAS praying"
what were you praying for if you're
not afraid?' retorted the lieutenant.
L was praying. SIR" was the re-
Spouse, that the enemy shot may be
distributed in the same proportion as
Inc prize money-alEost all of it
among the otficers!"
Thls story was told by an old
physician who had practiced for nearly
nfty years in small country town.
One day he was summoned to farm
house where he found a woman in a
high fever and evidently exceedingly
Ill. He said to her husband. who was
the only other person in the house: