The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1905-02-04

So far as appearances go / could not
have differed much from other brides.
They all wear extremely new clothes,
look supernaturaiiy pretty and are en-
HANGED by u reticence and dignity to-
ward the commonplace world about
them. as if they had taken by divine
inspiration to the new, angelic role in
the drama of life. l have seen many.
varying in splendor from the backwoods
country girl to the society belle, and
they all have this power OF radiance,
this air of sanctity assured forever,
with of course the exception of a few
who belonged to the smart set" and
whose sense of things has been so vul-
CARRIED by experience that they We're no
longer capable of entertaining hallowed
Illusions concerning any state OF exist
cnce.
Doubtless I wore the usual millennium
aspect of a bride. l member feeling
very far removed from the wedding oc-
casion, from the guests and even from
the bridegroom. 1t was very like the
Ngensation Methodists claim when they
have been converted But notwith-
standing this romantic consciousness of
spiritual excellence l cherished a mental
reservation against the peace and happi-
ness of our marriage which so darkened
even the honeymoon period that l am
resolved, after a lapse of nearly twenty
years. to divuige it for the sake of those
brides who shall come after me so long
as the springtime brings lovers and
orange blossoms.
AS to the Word "Obey."
My mistake consisted in the firm be-
lief that all men were constitutional ty-
rants in the domestic relation and that
| the word obey which the good old
| bishop refused to omit from the cere
mony, was q masculine Interpolation
| deliberately aimed at the personal lib
! erty of all wives. And my mental reser-
walton consisted of the equally firm de-
| termination to resist this savage order
| of things. Undoubtedly men are constl-
| tutional tyrants and the term ''obey"
| III the marriage ceremony is an eyre
gious!y savage one invented TO fit their
natural disposition. but the significance
l attached TO both was wrong and i'm
polite
| l attribute my error to the women in
mothers family They were all strong
minded" and they cherished a sort OF
Adamlc antagonism to the opposite sex.
Mother, indeed. was the only one of
| them who had far forget the duty she
owed herself as TO marry into It, But
having committed the indiscretion, no
woman ever stood by her guns more
! Valantiy in defense of her rights as a
separate, distinct and inyincibie human
! being / believe she regarded herself as
| q kind of pioneer heroine in the marital
ed her as foreign power with whom he
was ready to treat upon any terms,
however deceptive.
Well Meant Advice.
When 1 was about TO be married I re-
ceived from mother and my maiden
aunts the most sensational accounts of
masculine tyranny and neglect-not,
mother added proudly. that there had
ever been any demonstration of L in our
Town home, but she called my attention
10 young female cousin on Fathers
family side who had no more self-re-
spect than 10 be perfectly happy. al
though ste brought in the foot-bakh for
her husband at night and vas suspected
of performing other equally mental ser
vices (Real.Y she was an adn1ira bile
spirited woman who adopted this quaint
custom as romantic expression of
WlfelY deEOtion.t Henry was n nfnisf or
/ put mother warned me that a "cau tC
preach never changed the aboriginal
! disposition OF man to douineer owe!
! ms women kind. do not know now she
/ came TO be so well informed, since ne
! was the first minister who ever cam.
; into our family by grace or matrimoDy
but / am forced TO admit the correcrii..ss
| IS no better than fathers, who is an ex.
ceedingly secular man. The point j.
that / was misguided az to what nay al
| titude should be 10 his feudaI lord 9,
my destiny. Recalling at this .Iista1-
time the mingling Of tenderness and dis
trust with which | regarded my unsiIs
pectlng husband, am divided between
amusement and compassion. My day.
We're oversbadowed as with an impend
ing crisis. did not know what rnomen
: our bIlssTul honeymoon would end with
al IFsJTl and
siVe demonstration on Henry's part
And L prayed for courage to stand firm
when the time came for | was perfected
in love and the fraiI desire to serve hin
in all things.
The Crucial Moment.
Naturally we were not long in reach
ing the crucial moment which was t,
prove my equal sovereignty with, rtthe
than a suzerain relation to, my husband
And poor Henry, who had no idea of n
agonized condition of my mind, WI
amazed at the trivial incident which II
! the twinkling Of an eye changed nj
difident. affectionate bride into a fierce
~ contentious and uncharitable wife. I
was a matter of rumpiing a highly or
namental pilloW-sham on Il Sabbath af
! ternoon when he had been too exha ustet
or too masculineiy Indifferent to pillow
= sham etiquette TO remove the sacre
: object before thruSting his head upu
= the pillow. And although ne knew III
thing had been a highly priced brida
e | present from my eldest spinster aun;
Il he not only refused to smooth it, out h
: made invidious comments upon the fe
= male habit OF sham decorations. TO m
c distorted mind this seemed an imDOlit
a reflection upon all the women in tn
s world / refused to be reconciied with
o out an apology, which must have seem
r ed to Henry out of all proportion I
o his offense. And then | learned to wha
g pharlsaical lengths a good man
wrath will carry him, for my husban
withdrew unrepentant to his study an
spent the remainder Of the day readin
! his Bible. Meanwhile / SObbcd an
! faced the tragical end of all happiness
a | More than once / was tempted to yiel,
f but recalling the fate of that cousi
who was suspected of bathing her hus
bands feet / summoned strength 4
| | persist.
n When Feminine Guile Succeeded.
y Al last light broke upon my darkness,