, 1905-06-09
MARRIAGE
THOUGHTS
THE HAPPIEST AND SADDEST
EVENT OF THIS EARTH
LY EXISTENCE.
full Anticipations-Too Many Sad.
eyed Men Are Wearing Out 4
Lonely Existence at Home-Re.
membed Husbands SensibiIities,

the altar, the following from the pen
Of Bill Nye is prayerfully and fearful
ly submitted.
Marriage is, to a man, at once he
happiest and saddest event of his life.
He quits all the companions and as
sociates of his youth, and becomes the
chief attraction of a new home. Ev-
cry former tie is loosened the spring
of every hope and action is to be
changed and yet he fees with joy to
the %untrodden paths before him. Then
woe to the woman who a blight such
joyful anticipations, and wreck the
bright hopes of the trusting, faithful,
fragrant, masculine blossom, and bang
his head against the sink, and throw
him into a threecornered mass, and
then sit down on him.
Little do women realize that all a
man needs under the broad cerulean
dome of heaven is love-and board
and clothes. Love is his life. If some
woman or other don't love him, and
love him like a hired man, he pines
away and eventually climbs the gold
en- stair. Man is born with strong
yearning for the unyearnable, and he
does not care so much for wealth as
he does for some one who will love
him under all circumstances and in all
conditions.
If women would spend their even
ings at home with their husbands, they
would see a marked change in the
brightness of their homes. Too many
sad-eyed men are wearing away their
lives at home alone. Would that l
had a pen Of fire to write in letters of
living light the ignominy and contume.
ly and-some more things like that,
the names (which have escaped my
memory-that are today being visited
upon my sex.
Remember that your husband has
the most delicate sensibilities, and
keenly feels your GOODNESS and neglect.
The former may be remedied by toast.
ing the feet over a brisk fire before
going to bed, but the latter can only
be remedied by a total reform on your
part. Think what you promised his
parents when you sued for his hand.
Think how his friends, and several
girls to whom he had at different times
been engaged, came to you with tears
in their ayes and %besought you not to
be unkind to him. Do these things ev.
er occur to you as you throw him over
the card table and mop the floor with
his remains? Do you ever feel the
twinges of remorse after you have put
an octagonal head on him for not wip-
ing the dishes drier. Think what a
Luxurious home yor took him from, and
how his father used to polish his boots
and take care of him, and then consid.
er what drudgery You subject him to
now. Think what pain it must cause
him when you growl and swear at him.
Perhaps when you went away to your
work you did not leave him wood and
coal and water; does he ever murmur
or repine at your neglect?
All, il wives knew the wealth of
warm and true affection locked up in
the bOsoms of their husbands, and
would draw it out, instead of allowing
the hired girl to get all the benefit,
what a change there would be in this
earth Of ours. But they never do un-
till the companion of their joys and sor-
rows has winged his way to the ever
green shore and takes charge of the
heavenly orchestra, and then for about
two weeks you will see a violently red
proboscis %glimmering and sparkling
under a costly black veil. after which
the good qualities of the deceased will
be preserved in alcohol, to be thrown
up to No. 2 in the bright days to come.
Then, in conclusion, wives in Israel
and other railroad towns, love your
husbands while it Is yet day. Give
him your confidence. II your active
corn manifests a wish to leave the
reservation, go to your husband with
1t. Lean on him. He will be your
solid muldoon. He will get an old
wood rasp and make that corn look
sick. He is only waiting for your con-
fdence and your trust. Tell him your
business affairs and he will help you
out. He will, no doubt. offer to go
without help in the house in order to
economize, and he will think Of num-
berless other little ways to save money.
DO as we have told you and you will
never regret 1t. Your lives will then
be n great combination Of rare and
beautiful d~issolving views. You will
journey down that pathway Of you
earthly existence with the easy poeti-
cal glide Of the fat man who steps on
the ~treacherous orange peel. Your
last days will be surrounded with .
halo Of love. and ~ your eyes get dim
with age and n by one your teeth
drop out, you can a with pride that
you have never. never gone gack ON
your solid psrd.