davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05

The pay of the f1remen Of New York
is not small. The salary of the chief
Is $4,000 a year; of the deputy chiefs,
Of which there are five, $4,000 a year,
Of the battalion chiefs, Of which there
are II. $4,000 a year; of captains Of
companies. $3.50; lieutenants, $1,000:
engineers, $1,000; firemen, first grade,
$1,400; firemen, second grade, $1,000;
fremen, third grade, $1,000; flremen,
fourth grade, $500; firemen on proba-
tion, $500. The term Of probation Of
the fireman is 30 days.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
Limit,

Limit.
Gunner-You don't visit Proudpa 80
often as you used to.
Guyer-No: his son is big enough to
talk now.
Gunner-H'm! Isuppose Proudpa In
sists on telling you the bright things
he said.
Guyer-Worse than that; he has them
recorded on = phonograph.-Chicago
News.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
Uncertain

Uncertain.
"Jinx appears to be a little bit I'M
certain about his auto"
How is that?"
II saw him just starting out for a
spin in it to-day and asked him how
far he was going and he said he wished
be knew."-Houston Post.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
Hold IN,

''Yes. vas sitting UP with . sick
friend"
Joint"
MARY, do you think I would deceive
you?"
John, do you think you could deceive
me?" ~
well, he was sick, all right"
What was his trouble?" ID.
He held four kings against my four
aces-and-and here's enough Of it for
q new Dress Now let me sleep!"
And the fun Of it was it was John who
held the kings. Why will men lie to
their wives?"-Houston Post.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
No More Whitcomb Rileys.

NO More Wh1tcomb Rileyo.
First Indiana Poet-Times are not
what they used to be.
Second Indiana Poet-Prithee, fellow
litterateur, why this sadness? o.
First Indiana Poet Gracious mo!
haven't you heard? They are estab-
fishing public bath houses to take the
places Of the old swimming holes.
Think Of q poem about bath house!
Judge.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
The Odds Against Him.

The Odds Against Him. W.
els there q chance for me, Gladys?''
"There is, George-one in a million. /"
A.. George was q young man of some ex-
perience.
"That's too long a shot!" he OK.
claimed, picking up his hat.-Chicago
Tribune.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
ShreWd Man.

ShreWd Man.
Mrs. Hoyle-Mrs. Royle's husband
meant that she should remember him
for at least two years.
Mrs. Doyle-Why?
Mrs. Hoyle-In his will he directed
that his funeral should cost 500 and
that his wife should pay $50 down and
two dollars month until the bill was
paid.-Town Topics.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
Bic Words.

Mrs. Crawfoot-Gosh, Hiram brought
some of his college larnin' down hare
on the farm.
MIR. Crawfoot-How so, Mandy?
Mrs. Crawfoot-Why, when you told
him to 60 out and pick them later bugs
off the vine he told me to tell all visit
ors that he was out in the garden
studyin' entomology.-Chicago News.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
A Good Guess.

Il see by the papers," remarked
Dinsmore, that European manufac-
turers of shoes are initiating American
makes"
That" added the Sagacious OBJ
server, els for the purpose of putting
their own trade on better footing."-
Town Topics.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05

Though an attempt was made two
years ago to abolish bows and arrows
as the national weapons of China, the
work has only been accomplished
within the last few weeks. The impe.
rial archers have existed up to the
time the royal edict put them out Of
business about month ago. =
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
Had q Private Plant

The Vicar-How is it, Giles, that
you've given over coming to church
since you were married?
Giles-Why, sur, l as nothin' again
you, sur, but l gifts preached to at
ONE now.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
Keeping Things STRAIGHT

Keeping Things Straight.
"Scmebody left the faucet of the
vinegar barrel open last night" said
the grocer's clerk, "and there amt 4
drop left"
Him! That's too bad. Tell the book
keeper to enter it under the head Of
running expenses. Chicago Record
Herald.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
His Point Of View.

Jones-Have you a home?
Beggar-Yes; but it's thousand
miles from here.
Jones-You look as miserable a. il
1t were right around the block.-Towp
Topics. $3.50. s,
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
Whew!

$50 she's engaged, eh? That merely
goes to prove the truth of what I nave
always commended, that no matter how
big freak girl is there is a mate for
her somewhere in the wide world. Who
is she going to marry?'
Me."-HoustOn Post.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
After Them,

when woman takes a mans
place in an Office or factory she ought
to get a mans wages"
Eyes: and If she can't get them that
way she ought to marry him.''-Hous.
ton Post.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
A Rare Woman,

Jinks-1 never saw house where
everything ran SO smoothly as 1T
Br0adbrin's.
Minks-Yes; lucky fellow, Broad
grin. He's got wife who knows how
to keep the servants amused while she
does the work.-N. Y. Weekly.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
The Usual Way,

Dyer-Gotrox has magnificent es-
tate, but there are lot of tumbled-
down cottages in the vicinity that de-
tract from it.
Ryer-That's where his poor rela-
lions iive.-Judge.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
Self-1tade.

Gerald-I am self-made man.
Geraldine-You are relieving your an
cestors Of a fearful responsibility
Town Topics.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
Is This PeriurvP

She-Under the new California mar
riage certificate law, the young couple
must swear that they are not insane.
He-And yet, no doubt, both of the
parties are crazy to get married.
Yonkers Statesman.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
COMPLAINS the Drummer.

These chumps won't buy our goods; the!
haw and hem.
It's got to be-by jing!-
A much too ordinary thing with them
To order nary thing.
l-Philadelphfa Press.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
What's in a NameH

Cousin Jack-Well, I've Just heard
the details Of uncle's will. He leaves
everything to the heather.
Cousin Jane-Oh, we'll, never mind
what he calls us, so long as we get it.
Judge.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05

Filling the Bill.
Said the gas Office clerk,
I'm performing my work
With great and exceptional skill.
It il widely agreed
That I always succeed
In thoroughly filling tho bill"
Washington Star.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
No Such Inck

Eat, drink and be merry, for to-mor-
row you die"
"Oh, no, you dont-you only feel
like it."-Life.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
Spoiled It.

Summer Girl-For goodness sake
what has happened to .Margie's bath
ing suit? She looks like fright!
Also a s. G.-Doesn't she? The caro-
less thing got it all wet yesterday
Cleveland Leader.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
sc. GATHERINGS lighthouse. Isle OF
Wight. has just been fitted with .
hashlight which is estimated to be
equal to 100000 candle.power.

In some Of the cities of Spain beg.
gars are licensed to carry on their
trade. Recent figures place the mum.
her Of beggars in that country at 1907
a27, Of whom 51,948 are women.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
Misnamed.

Gife-McPompous is always butting
In with what he calls his humble opin-
ion.
Spinks-Yes; >and that amt the worst
of it.
Gifle-What do you mean?
Spinks-His humble opinion is too
derned arrogant to suit me.-Chicago
Sun.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
Defined.

PA, what does tspurn' 11ean?"
THAT. my sc2, is what a man does
70 another an whom he can't lick"
Puck.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05

whats the trouble over In the lady
snake charmer's tent?"
Lob, some one slid an angleworm In
TO the tent and scared her into a
spasm."-N. Y. Sun.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
Didn't Have to Behave,

Didn't Have to Behave,
Little Maggie (who has company
We've been playing school, mamma.
Mamma-1ndeed! And did you be-
have nicely?
Little Maggie-Oh, I didn't have to
behave. was teacher.-Tit-iBts.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
D. S. SENATOR TowNE
Credits Doan's Kidney Pills With Q Gfah-
flying Cure.

Hon. Charles A. Towne, Ex-Q. s.
Senator from Minnesota, brilliant
orator, clever business man, brainy
lawyer, whose national prominence
made him formida BILE candidate for
the presidential nomination in 1904,
writes us the following: &c.,
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05

"There Was a Man." Etc.
There was a man in our town,
And why that man was there
Is because a town without a man
Is something very rare.
Judge.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
Absurd.

AOI HlB0I Dl8PQv0 . urUHQU1W u
the face"
Flow absurd"
whats absurd?"
Shaping mosquito on the face!"
"You didn't let me finish. slapped
him on the face Of my girl: and her
father thought 1t was the smack OF .
kiss he had heard, and he bounced
down stairs and chased me a block. =
Houston Post.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
The Rea! Trouble,

"Has the circulation of your new
magazine gone up?"
mo; but the magazine has."--Lifa
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
Got Enough.

"Ferdy actually went hunting!''
"The idea! Did he bag anything?"
"Yes-the knees of his trousers. He'll
never go again. Leader.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05

neuralgia pains In the limbs and was
otherwise distressed. A few boxes of
the pills effectually routed my ailment
and am glad to acknowledge the bene-
at I derived.
(Signed) CHARLES A. TOWNE.
Foster.Milburn Co., Buffalo, n. Y.
For sale by all dealers. Price, so cents
per box.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
ComnIred.

Compared.
Some clever folks who never work
Still make the greatest showing.
The rooster never lays an egg,
But he does al the Growing.
-CaSsells
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05
FOR WON EN-

ss" 9pI sS W.T. ss1 ~! y. %omcSs 4.
cessful. Thoroughly cleanses, kills disease germs,
stops dischaEges, heals inflammation and local
soreness, cures leucozrhea and nasal catar1h.
water, and Is far more cleansing, healing gemicdal
and economical than liquid antiseptics for all
TOILET AND WOMEN0 SPECIAL USES
For sale at druggists, 90 cents box.
Trial Boz and Book Of Instructions Pree.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1905-10-05

" Gentlemen: I
I am glad to en-
dorse Doan.s Kid.
ney Pills. The
remedy was rec.
commended to me
. few monthsag
when 1 was feel
ing miserable;
had severe pains
in the back; was
restless and Ian
guild; had q DUH
headache q n d
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1905-03-09
THE PRESIDENTS WORDS
TO HIS COUNTRYMEN.

The following address bic inauguraiuI
will appeal to every American: A
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1905-03-09

oTrserves. rucn Kruwe1r N wvartn, m
ponulation and in powers O. this nation
has seen during the century and q quar-
ter Of its national life Il inevitably 40
eompanied BY like growth in the prob
lems which are ever before every ma
tion that rises to greatness. Power In
variably means both responsibility and
danger. our forefathers faced certain
perils which we have outgrown. We
| now face other perils the very existence
Of which II was impossible that they
ahould foresee. Modern life IL both com.
plex and intense and the tremendous
changes wrought by the extraordinary
lndustrial development Of the last half
century are felt in every fiber OF our
social and political being.
The conditions which have told for
our marvellous material well-beins,
which have developed to very high de-
gree our energy, self-reliance and indi-
yidual initiative, have also brought me
care and anxiety inseparable from the
accumulation Of great wealth IN indus
trial centers. Upon the success OF our
experiment much depends; not only a
regards our own welfare, but as regards
the welfare Of mankind, II we fall, the
cause Of free self-government through
out the world will rock 70 its foundar
tions; and therefore, our responsibility
Is heavy, to ourselves. to the world e. y
Is to-day, and to the generations YET
unborn.
Yet, after all, though the problems are
new, though the tasks set before US diner
from the tasks set before our fathers
who founded and preserved this repub-
lie, the spirit in which these tasks must
be undertaken and tnese problems IAcsN
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1905-03-09

began To- arrive. Tne presluent was
seated in q big red leather chair i'm
mediately, in front Of the desk Of the
presiding officer and was an interesting
spectator Of the ceremony In which he
himself had participated four years ago.
The induction ceremony did not con-
sumo more than two minutes Of time and
was administered by Mr.. Frye, presid-
ing officer Of the senate.
with the last positive thump Of the
gayel upon the desk Senator Frye re-
linquIshed his position as president pro
tenn. by announcing the end Of that
body. Taking a seat to one side Mr..
Fairbanks took his place and began his
inaugural address. This was followed
By the prayer Of DR.. Edward
Everett Hale. Then the organiza-
ton Of the senate was complet-
ed, the oath in each case being ad-
minlstered by Mr. Fairbanks. Immedi-
Ately upon the adjournment the guests
began to ilIe ost Of the gallery and prep
arations were begun for the inaugura-
ton Of the presldsnt
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1905-03-09

,=g the ceremonies, ann nis cierK came
forward bearing a Bible. A hush, fol-
lowed by absolute silence, fell over the
crowd, which but moment before was
cheering itself hoarse President
Roosevelt raised his right hand and took
the oath which binds him in support
ing the laws and constitution Of the
United States, with great reverence ano
amid deep silence. So great was the
awe Of the assembled multitude that
not the sembIance Of demonstration
followed. Then the president began his
inaugural address, and as soon as he had
finished and disappeared within the
capitol the signal was flashed to the
navy yard and the salute Of u guns
told the end Of the ceremonies and the
initial step Of the presidents entrance
into his second term Of once.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1905-03-09

MY Fellow Citizens: No people on
earth have more cause to be thankful
than ours, and this Is said reverently,
In no spirit Of boastfulness In our own
strength, but with gratitude to the Giver
Of Good Who has blessed us with the
conditions which have enabled US to
achieve 80 large measure Of well being
and Of happiness. To US as a people II
has been granted to lay the foundation
Of our national life in new continent
We are the heirs Of the ages, and yet
we have had to pay few Of the penalties
which in old countries are exacted BY
the dead hand of bygone civilization.
We have not been obliged to fght for
our existence against any alien race;
and yet our life has called for the vigor
and effort without which the manlier
and harder virtues wither away. Un'
der such conditions It would be our own
fault II We failed; and the success which
we have had in the past, the success
which we confidently believe the future
will bring, should cause In US no feel
ing Of vain glory, but rather deep and
abiding realization OF all which life has
offered US; 0 full acknowledgment OF
the responsibility which is ours; and q
fxed determination TO show that under
q free government a mighty people can
thrive best, alike as regards the things
Of the body and the things Of the soul
Much has been given to US, and much
will rightfully be expected from US. We
have duties to others and duties to our
selves; and we can shirk neither. We
have become d great nation, forced BY
the fact Of its greatness into relations
with the other nations Of the earth;
and we must behave rs beseems peo-
pie with such responsibilities. Toward
all other nations, large and small, our
attitude must be one Of cordial and sim
cere friendship. We must show not only
in our words, but in our deeds that we
are earnestly deslrous Of securing their
good will by acting toward them In q
spirit Of Just and generous recognition
Of all their rights. But justice and gen.
srosIty in a nation, as in an individual,
count most when shown not BY the
weak, but By the strong. While ever
careful TO refrain from wTonging others,
We must be no less insistent that we ara
not wronged ourselves. We wish peace;
but we wish the peace Of justice, the
paacs Of Righteousness. We wish II BE-
cause We think It is right, and not be-
cause we are afraid. No weak nation
that acts manfuily and Justly should
ever have cause to fear u, and no strong
power should ever Be able to single u
out e. q subject for insolent aggression,
Our relations with the other poWerl
Of the world are important but still
more important are our relations among
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1905-03-09

stituti6n OF the United states. TINS
was the oath Of office, and 1t was admin
istered by Senator Frye as president pro
tempore Of the senate. The two officials
stood confronting each other on the ele-
waited platform on which rests the'd
Of the preceding officer Of the senate,
practically on the same spot on which
all the incoming vice presidents for the
past so years have stood.
Regarding the notabies who were
present at the ceremony in the senate,
practically the same personages were
seen at this event as were present about
an hour later at the Inauguration Of the
president. Every niche and Granny in
the gallery was filled with people. That
section which'is generally used private
ly by the senators was turned over to
the executive party and directly oppo-
site that quarter newspaper men were
busily engaged portraying the scenes
about them. Outside Of these two
quarters of the gallery persons hold
ing special tickets we're seated.
Shortly before 12 the special guests
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1905-03-09
THEODORE ROOSEVELT

except Inose VINO were participating In
the ceremony were seated. When the
justices Of the supreme court, with the
exception of Chief Justice Fuller.
emerged from between the Corinthian
pillars and marched down the slopng
carpeted aisle to their station they were
greeted with applause The Justices
wore their robes and. skull-caps, Then
came the members Of the diplomatic
corps in their gorgeous uniforms, and
they evoked thunderous applause. LED
by Count Cassini, the Russian ambass 3
sador and. dean of the corps, and fol-
lowed by the others in order OF prece-
dence, they took seats on the right OF
the stand. Strolling in after them came
members Of the cabinet, senators and
representatives in congress.
Hush as President Comes.
Following on the heels of the ofhcial
party came Mrs. Roosevelt and party
of friends; then, but moment later, the
new vice president, Mr.. Fairbanks, and
his escort arrived and were greeted by
tremendous bursts of applause. AS soon
as Vice President Fairbanks seated him
self the cheers ceased, the military pre-
sented arms, every hat in the commit
tees came OF and the great ocean Of peo-
pIe set up perfect roar Of cheers, fair
ly shouting itself hoarse,
Quick as h flash every sound wasstilled
and President Roosevelt, quiet and COM
posed Of demeanor, came from between
the gigantic pillars, escorted by ChieI
justice Fuller. Abandon burst OF
ahaaas .oarna from tha frnnt Of the cE-
as with measured tread, In harmony
with the dignifed step Of the chief JUS
tice, the president advanced IN state
down the long aisle Of distinguished
guests. BY this time all were standing
and nothing could be heard above the
roar Of thunderous welcome. lmmedi-
ately following came, aSm In arp. the
members Of the committee on arrange
ments. AS the president passed down
the aisle he barred his head and with
Characteristic sweep Of his hat bowed in
acknowledgment of the salutations
from the stand and the ovation from the
people.
The man Of the hour was before the
most representative gathering that had
ever assembled TO greet the chief execu-
ava Of tha nation upon like occasic-
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1905-03-09
r.irhants Be- InauEurated.

Second only in importance to the In
auRurstIon Of the president, on the cal
endar OF events for the day, was the
induction Of Senator Fairbanks, OF
Indiana, into the once Of the vice
president Of the United States in the
senate chamber. The ceremony was
brief and simple to the extent Of be-
ing severe. Immediately following the
address and oath Of vios President Fair
banks came the anal adjournment Of the
Fifty-eighth congress and the beginning
Of the special session
Many other events, such - the swear
ing IN Of almost a third membership
Of the sunats ana variousroutins duties.
which Were IN themselves Of great I'M
port. we're thrust into the background
b. ne impressive ceremonies which pre-
esded. Solemn and Jet brief' IL the
wny the taking Of The oath impressed
ths spsctat1ra II consisted Of = prom
lee, mads with uplifted hand and boved
hesd. 70 perform the duties of he o.
aca ahd % sunDoTt and tsfsad ths oon-
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1905-03-09

President Roosevelt's manner was not
that Of q man upon whose head fell the
great responsibilities Of q nations care.
Three years Of experiences a. chief sx-
ecutive had changed this man As much
e ala Llncolns liberation Of the black
man change that great statesman
while he waited for the applause to die
out be stood in triumph. with no shov
Of vanity, with no evidences Of political
snmIty, apparently no memories Of the
campsiEn gone By. and nothing more
dlseoneartlng than q huge gatherint q
loTni Americans.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1905-03-09
u.x Nst After Hayti.

washington, March Ain answer to
An inquiry on the subject. Secretary
Hay has formally assured the HAyten
minister here that the United States
government has no intention whatever
d acquiring by annexation or other
wise possession Of Hayu or San Do
minso. nor Of extending American In
- = E.ak dlfecfion.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1905-03-09
u,1 Give, $4,000 TO Harvard.

Seattle, wash. March Gin the
name Of the city Of Seattle, Samuel
um member Of the board OF over
seers Of Harvard University. has sub
scribed 1000 to special fund Of
II OOo 900 to relieve the annual den-
- --t-si-s - ~ inaiifntinn
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1905-03-09
ola-rIne FrsIEhtsr Deaa.

Ieayenvorth. Kan. March 5.-Thon-
ss Riley, 7s years old. one Of The hrat
ssttiers Of Leayenworth, is dead here
He came to LeayenWorth IN 1871 ana
was for % years employed ~ freight
er acrcls the plains 70 Denver, earry-
InE government IupRlisA -
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1905-03-09

NorE. --AvoidbaIing powdersmadefrorl
alum. They look like pure powders,
and may raise the cake, but alum
is a poison and no one can eat food
mixed with It without injury to health.