The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-11-02
HUMOR OF THE DAY

HUM0R OF THE DAY
she-'You men are such cowards.''
He Anyhow, one Of US married youl'
con the Hnks.) 81 can't imagine
what you were thinking of to let your
uncle beat you so badly" Il was
thinking of a codicil. Brooklyn Life.
Patron-'swhy do they call this
place a chop house p Waiter-''Why ny.
don't trouble about tive found out.
Bring me a Ratchet for this steak, viii
you ?"-Cleveland Leader.
ut viii be soon enough. Miss
Gwimple, if I return this book the next
time call, won't il ?" why, certain
~, Mr.. FeatheTtop. There's no hurry
about It, Any time within the next six
months viii do.''-Chicago Tribune.
He-'Perhaps you don't like my
style of dancing" She Gin evident dis
tress) There is rather too much
ssameness about it." He-''How may
on my left foot once in a while.''-
Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Dndertone-"My husband is
complaining again of your cooking.
Mary" Mary (assuringly) Doh, mum.
don't take amy notice of him. for tis
the nature of him to And fault Amt
he foreevr complainin' of you, mum %
The Candfdate-"Come, you must
get up some printed matter to educate
paign Manage right. you must
write something" Candidate-"Me
write! What time have I had 10 study
the question ?''-Town and Country.
The Suitor "a few years hence
Darling, on the very next visitors day
III go to Sing Sing and ask your father
for his consent!'' The Frenzied F'inan-
won't, George, dear! Why. that would
shatter all our hopes of fathers sent
eHce ever being committed for good
oehaviori Puck.
L wonder what Bragg means for
ever talking of his social obligations %
Il suppose he's a member OF several
social organizations and never pays his
dues Philadelphia Ledger.
Newitt-"It certainly is a great es-
adjustment. They're stfclxiers for
system theres everything in its right
place" Cassidy-"Oh! OF dunno. Whin
Oh whit through there OF seen a lot O
red buckets marked For Fire Only
an, fax. there was wather in thiml''
Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Bibbs-''This paper says that
walking in the rain. without an UNI
brella, will remove wrinkles" Mr..
Well. it won't, not if you are
walking in the rain without an UNI
brella because some friend has stolen
yours. New York Weekly.
what are you making such a kick
about? You're carrying policy Of
only a thousand" I'm kicking be-
cause I find I am carrying ali the
presidents relatives. Chicago Trf-
bune.
old Gentleman Gas the train gets q
terrific bump at a station) -''Phew!
What's that?" Old LADY, guess
they must be coupling on that bulAet
car we've heard tell about."=New
York Weekly.
Mrs. Hunks-"I wish you wouldn't
be 50 positive. There are two sides to
every question" Old Hunks with a
roar)-''WeH. that's no reason why
you should always be on the wrong
side!''-Chicago Tribune.
"Starr's manager has promised to
give a presentation of that comedy of
NINE" said De Ritter, but I don't
know when it's to come off, Prob
ably the night after it's put on" sug-
gested the cruel critic.-Philadelp
Press.
what do you think posterity will
say of you?' asked the indignant pa
trOn. My dear SIR answered Sena-
tor Sorghum, what posterity says do
not expect to hear. It is the present
generation that duns you if you do
not look out for your finances
Washington Star
did the minister die resigned7''
mot him. He died, but blamed if we
could get him to resign. '-CleveIand
Leader.
dolly has offered to sing at EthePs
musicale" 81 thought she hated
EtheI?" ''Wel, that proves it, doesn't
it?"-Judge.
How old is that Miss vernon-six-
teen or sixtv?" why. man, you've
met her dozen tines?" yes, but
she always had her automobile outfit
on!"-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
She-''You know very well that I
know you had very little to say. The
trouble is it took you so long to say it,
-Yonkers Statesman
The Country dear sir, your
daughter has a frightful temper.
can't put up with it." His American
Faith aw-"You're right. If I
hear any more complaints, I'll disin-
herit her.
'sWhy don't you join the procession
and come forward as a refOrmer?''
Because" answered Senator Sorghum,
Il am already safely in political life.
see no reason for starting my career
anew. w ashington Star.