New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-04-04
THE TALK OF THE DAY.


wrote OF another: Hes common, cowardiy cur.
He's an infamous liar and a till tapping thief.
More anon" The possibilities Of language having
been exhausted. all Memphis sat up one night list
enng for pistol cracks in reply. The rival editor
did not want to shoot or be shot. He merely
brought libel suit $4,000 against his detractor,
entering into writings binding himself 20 give to
charity whatever sums he may obtain in that IN
romantic way.
ON THE MANCHURIAN RAILROAD.
A passenger quite dumb poor soul!
Without ticket g0t - A.. ..-,o.
Conductor very hot.
He rendered the conductor coin
Ills passage sag T TST 20 ~ pd Ec the strict
Official then did say.
The poor dumb man. he could not speak.
At least. not very well: s.s
To ring little bell!
Now that conductor on the spot
The answer understood;
And found the total good.
And several stations further up
When the guard name did sing,
The poor dumb man got UP. got on
AT the town Of Ting-a-Ling!
-(New-Orleans Tlmes-Democrat.
Two little Scott City (Kanl girls became in
VOWED in quarrel the other day which eliminated
in physical violence. One of the mothers took her
little da lighter to task very severely. Wishing to
emphasize the enormity of her offence the mother
said: It's the devil who tells YOU to do such
naughty things" The little girl replied between
sobs: He may have told me to pull her hair. but
I thought of kicking her shins all by myself
A Dissembler-"Le onidas,'' said Mr.. Meekton' S
wife look me in the eye and answer , me one GueS
well Henrietta" he answered, after much hest
gether frank OS on numerous occasions have dis
sembled to the extent OF trying 20 appear lar more
amiable than really felt"-(Washington Star
1t is generally known that newspaper men have a
toleraby hard time in keeping the prOverbal wolf
from the door but the Editor Of THE Marshall
MOI Index has novel way of tempting sub
scrbers He writes: IF you have a big bunch Of
good. clean cotton rags-say. fifteen pounds-bring
them to The Index, and we'll credit your daily
subscription month for the same
Pathological smlth-You remember Muggins.
Jones-Yes; what of him?
Smith-He arrested yesterday for being short
In his accounts.-(Chicago News
When a Boston lawyer recently cross-examined
a witness, he asked IL the night in question
the witness had not taken several drinks Of whis-
key. That's my business" the witness remarked.
with Indignation. II know it is your business, the
lawyer quickly replied, but were you attending
to it?'
Troubled GSnsGisnseI had horrible h dream
to breakfast the h e.. other E.5 morning P,r
AZ dreamed that l was in PuFgatory, and was
made to do all the things had told my friends
would do If I were n their es."-(Town and
Country.
The editorial profession is a bit strenuous. Of
Tended by an article in a newspaper, NJ. Rouzier-
Dorcieres sent his seconds to the writer n Vau-
tier, to demand an apology and. this being refused,
the pair met at the Great Wheel to fight IL out with
swords. For two mortal hours and fifteen minutes
they lunged and passed and parted and advanced
and retired and at the end OF time had fought
twenty-three rounds. without either having the
least scratch to show for the others work. Then
the seconds interviewed. and the duel was stopped.
However. all had not been in vain Two hours OF
active exercise had put so much OF sane thought
into Vautier that he acknowledged the statements
on which he had fought to be quite without foun-
dalton.
Purely Business;-"of course said the shrewd
OF weeks" 'O' 'OuP'e
What for?'' demanded his friend.
He owes me S100 and that's about the only Wav
can collect t'-(Philadelphia Press.
The st. Petersburg Gazette Of Commerce. saws
that per cent tax will be levied on salaries OF
state officials from May H. and that the death
duties will be increased 80 per cent the tax on
beer 50 per cent and on matches 100 per cent Pre-
sumahy these are merely few OF the items upon
which the war in the Far East has imposed heavier
taxes Russia's war chest is not empty but the
Japanese are boring into it every day with the
biggest augeTs obtainable.
Rough on IIim.-He (enthusiastically)--At your
command will dare anything. I will seek out the
realms OF the boReal pole
she rubbing her cheekl-Don't you think dearest
you would better seek out the realms OF some lar.
oer pole?-(F'ittsburg Dispatch.
The Grand Turk has taken an observation Of the
salvation Army and does not approve OF H. ana
toFnids the faithful from giving any attention 10
It's evolutions or ministrations General Booth CELIA
marshal OF the Salvation forces. recently visited
Jerusalem, carrying new and peaceful crusade
thitheT, but no Turk would come near him.
Knew the Game"AFen't you carrying things
with high hand2"
sometimes les a high hand" answered the South
american President, and then again sometimes las
onE a bluR '-tWashington star.