Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1905-06-20

Specialist, and Count sobeliski," tho
Distinguished Temperance Lecturer.
Looking for a Location for a Cold
Water Sanitarium.
Especial correspondence Minneapolis Press
ASsociation.)
H. L. Ohaffee, hardware salesman
for st. Paul house, who makes his
headquarters at Elysian, Mimi,
where he owns hardware store, and
where beautiful lake affords excel
lent fishing, had been talking to his
friends, Sobolik, the hardware dealer,
and Owens, the clothier, about going
up for little outing. The day was
finally set but the travelingman in
the meantime had been preparing the
citizens OF the small village of Elysian
for the proper reception and enter.
tainment OF his friends, He informed
the business men OF Elysian that he
was going to bring in two distinguished
mep, Count Sobeliski," titled
foreigner of wealth, and "Dr. Owens,n
noted specialist. Now, it happens
that there is "Count Sobeliski" in
this country, noted temperance
lecturer, and there is also a noted
specialist by the name OF .sDr. Owens,n
and the good people of Elysian know
Ing that Chaffee was on speaking
terms with W. j. Bryan and that he
had once shook hands with Gen. Grant,
gave credence to his story.
The people of Elysian were care
fully coached. They were informed
that under the circumstances little
reception would be in order, so that
they could meet the ladies, and that
they must especially impress the
distinguished visitors with the fact
that they mad an abundant supply Of
PURE WATER, as they were looking
for a desirable location, on the quiet,
to establish q sanitarium. It might
also be we'll to show them their excel
lent drainage, and other sanitary
advantages which the place enjoyed.
| On Saturday, at l O'Clock, "Dr.
Owens" and "Count Sobeliski'' took
the train for Elysian thoroughly
equipped with all kinds Of tackle and
bait. The crowd had assembled at
the depot at Elysian and while wait.
ing for the train the trayelingman
informed them that they could easily
be distinguished from tine 'tcommon
herd as they aligbted from the train
as the ssDr. u always wore q passive
|smile, while the sCount" could easily
be recognized by his tall form and
military bearing. The train arrived
in due time and every body was intro
duced to CDR. Owens" and Count
Sobeliski" Although after 9 O'Clock
in the evening a fine lunch was await
ing them at the hotel. After supper
the party sauntered down the street
to visit the various stores, and busi-
ness places. At each place the
merchants managed to speak about
the pure water supply and excellent
drainage, bringing it in usually by
drawing a glass of water aud offariDg
it to CDR. Ovens and the "Count, %
this had been repeated about half
dozen times, when slim" called
/ Chsffee out on the side and whispered
in his ear: "Say, what do these people
take me for anyway?-A cold water
crank? Not one OF them have asked
me to take anything stronger than
water; I am now as full of water as q
Mining Company stocked with sc, ,00O,-
900 on S100 prospect" But the
appeal was in vain, everyone had been
coached not toinsult the distinguished
temperance lecturer by offering him
anything stronger Than water.
About $50 the reception started In at
Johnson's 8 hall. It had been adver-
tised and announced as q dance for,
as Chaffee explained, it would be
better not to let them know that it
was gotten up for their benefit.
I The visitors were introduced by the
Banker and one Of the leading
merchants. The band played aHail
to the ChiefYn following with an
encore: t'Theres q New Coon in
Town." Then the festivities began.
From waltz to two-step, from glide to
quadrille, all were as A-B-C to the
"Doctor" and the "Count," who went
through every new dance without q
"break. The ladies were heard to
remark, especially of the Count
HIsn't he lovely dancer?" Nor did
the interest abate any when the
trayelingman whispered it about thai
they were bachelors.
In the meantime, the hardware
salesman had been having a short
interview with the landlord; "It Ii
like this, explained Chaffee, ''on th,
continent In the Old Country 1t Is
customary for the Royalty, and ii
!. fact all of the well-to,do, to eat fiv,
9 times dayi now, If you want Il
make HIT just have light break
I fast before they start out fishing, thel
s l will bring them in about $50 for
8 good breakfast, then II you have som,
9 cold roast beef, bread, butter, pickles
r pie and cake, and few other things
throw them into q basket and we vii
take them along for little lunch
then we will be back about o 'clool