Bisbee daily review., 1905-10-29
REMARKABLE EXPERIENCE.

I had an experience last night the parallel of which I can hardly remem- Ter.
 l slept on a bed.
 For twenty years I have been in the newspaper bUsiness I have slept be. tween a pocket handkerchief and a copy of the Review. I have eaten off of a barrel head and worked on foot. thousand times has the frisky ta- rantula crawled over my prostrate form as I slumbered beneath the stars or rolled up in the press sheet or rubbed the splinters off tbe floor or sought refuge from the cold north wind, in the welcome pit beneath the news press while the night work lull. ed me to blissful sleep, but last night I slept in a real bed with snowy sheets ard a goose hair pillow and an i'm. Il aculate "ccverlet" such as Gran. ny used to make, and the sensation was beyond description.
 l lay awake half the night trying to size up the beatitude of the situa- ton. l rolled from side to side and drew up and stretched out. and the cool friction between my anatomy and Il ose snowy sheets created a beatif ic sensation. Then I was powerful ly reminded of the days when my mother used to chuck me away be- tween a couple of fat feather ticks when l was a small boy. How she enforced sleeping decorum and how often my pOsterior sustained a sting ing friction in contact with her slip per for violation of the rules. and how if l committed an offense when sleep ing she would roll me out uncermo- riously and if committed one while out of bed she would put me back and make me sweat there in broad daylight as I listened to the music of other kids laughter through the win COW, feel to this day that the most diabolical torture ever conceived by the leaders of the Inquisltion. could rever compare with the punishment atteding the putting of a small boy to bed in the day time. She would put me to bed before wanted to go and my daddy would yank me out be- fore I wanted to get up. and grand mother and my Aunt Nancy ana my Uncle Jake and all my older brothers exercised the same practice until I solemnly swore that if I ever got to maturity l would never sleep in a bed again, and I kept my oath until last night and 1 am sorry I broke it then.
 The bed was all right. but the mem ories t resurrected were frightful.
 Then as I lay upon my side the springs would become sway back and produce curvature of the spine, and when I turned to the other side I would have to break my back bone over again, and every time I moved it screaked till I would jump out thinking the building was falling to pieces, and when I got back the GOV CTS were tangles, and when after try ing to start the electric light with a match for half an hour I accidently turned it on I found I was in full view of the whole neighborhood. with a window on three sides and every body passing by. pausing to gaze, evidently in admiration of my Grecian proportions, and when I found after five minutes desperate effort that I did not know how to extingUish that light, as the crowd was gathering momentarily. looked for my clothes with theintention of making my es- cape, and how I could find but one shoe and got my pants on wrong side in front and could not find my dress shirt, and finally in a moment of desperation, hit that incandesceht with the soap dish and it popped till I thought I was shot through the win dow. and plunged back into that bed headon and covered up my head unminful that the rest of my anato- my was unprotected from the cold at mosphere,T and when the gray dawn first appeared, I arose in wrath and humiliation and gathered my three dollar suit together and slid down the bannister and registered another sol emn oath that if ever slept in anoth- CT bed it would be when my frfeends had found me in helpless and mori- bund condition. and thoughtlessly place me there.
 MESCAL.