The Washington times., 1905-07-30
AMUSING SIDE
Of POLICE WORK
Some Good Stories Told by
PatrOimen.
THE HUMOR OF HARD WORK
Bicycle Riders Wearing the Blue Have
No Easy Time in Watching
LawbTeakerS.
THE HUM0R OF HARD WORK

Few citizens of this or any city |
imagine for a moment that behind the I
stoId countenances of the blue-coated /
guardians Of the peace there is hidden, !
from ali but those who know them in |
timately. hunor as well as pathos.
"A stranger if he should enter into con- |
versation with one of these men, would /
not have this opinion altered in the !
least. for the men, like a great many !
other public employees. have a peculiar
reserve which only good acquaintance
can thaw.
No one gets better chance to see
both sides OF these mems lives than the
police reporters. There is generally
professional give and take, as well as
common sympathy between the two, and
they therefore work in harmony. Here
are cited a few humorous happenings
told by one of the guardians or the
peace:
An Irish bicycle patrolman of the
local force appeared in the Police Court
not long ago as the complainant against
a man for fast riding. IN a rich brogue
he gave his testimony. Yer homer,
he said. Il seen that man ridthin up
tn strate on his whale. much rasther
than the law permits.
How fast was he going?" asks the
judge 'Oh, he were going vary fast,
was the reply.
Was he going as fast as man eould
rum was next propounded by the
judge.
..Yis, Yer honer.' was the answer, ne
war goin as fast as two min could
run The judge smiled. and said
Twenty dollars
Colored Lawyers Wit.
A bright, good-natured patrolman was
talking with some friends IN front OF
The Police Court not long ago, when an
old colored lawyer passed by. nodding
10 the group as he passed on. That 5 a
funny old duck" said one, and then the
patroiman with smile, said: You bet he
Is; you should have heard him in court
the other day Tell US about it, said
one OF the group. and the patrolrnan
started on his narrative as foHows'
policeman - naming one of his
comrades. had a larceny case IN court
not long ago. ana this old chap was
counsel for the defense In arguing his
case the lawyer said to the judge: 'fo
honoh. this man is ch' rged wit Ia ceaS-
Now. yo honeh, dis man sho'ly ain
guilty. Let US jes' see what cons tutes
ia'ceny. I4a'ceny. yo honor Is 10 tax
fin from wfar 1t is, and put II
xvhar il amt. and deed, jedSe, 70 know
a, dat man amt done muffin lax dat : ne
4rdre agreAi with the lawyer thst ne
df5 not see how the man could nave
done that very well, puI. never 'ii'7is79'
{npoSed a fine OF $40
stat3onea on Pennsylvania avenue
there used to be a fat. jolly Hiberhlah
,o1icernan. with a brogue as thick as
ruoIasses. II winter time He was riding
doxvn the street one day when man
on motorcycle passed him. going at
nrettv good clip. The stout man from
The land OF the shamrocks Immediately
gave chase, and upon getting abreast OF
the motorist called out, SItop Illo'
+i-f,.y viii yez?" What for2' was the
e-svTer hurled back at him. "Yez is
ooin too faast, called the policeman II
rnAnacfne tone 'All right, III stoI
os soor. as I can" was the answer. Ih'
mn stopped his machine and demand
ea an explanation. in answer TO Whlei
pat for such We shall call him, re
ifarated that '@Thots all right aoou
tbat. yCz jist come along Ihe mo
+orist tod Pat that his wheel Wa
sa~ed IN 10 20 not less than ffteei
miles a.. hour. but if he tFa) would &c
him = wrench he would change the gear
to and go to tae station house. Pa
acordineIy- went into u nearby oIcycl
e+ora and borrowed an eXpenslV
wrench. which he gave TO the man L
change the gearing OF his machlhe
Aftar changing the gearing the Iaan pa
/. the wrench ir his pocket, jumped on nj
wheel and started down the Avenue
and PAT started after him
Motorcycle Ran Away
Al each turn OF the wheel the motor
e,ycia made better time until Pat flnall
caIGad ont. "Phat the divil's ye hurry
IgaI1 q uinut." The cyclist yelled 0ac
for Pat 10 hurry up and at The sam
time passed the corner which led
the station house the now lEa45hai
poIIcelsan yelled, 4e son-oI-a-su'
Turn to thc station house, but va
answered by q laughing Ia, Ia Iroi
me man on the motorcycle
Pat then put on steam and did his hes
- o,-e-ta1-r the NAN on the horseIes
btg7 VINO .gas by TINS time doing a thll
fv-n!.e gait. Finau being ou1 olstaHce'
Tat called ou1. stop that thing, te
We" 10 which he received no reply. an
finally. ia desperation. The Htbernian ID
out, .-ReSoD. sc mutt, i yez won sto
give me ne muakey Wr2nch, put L
only answer that he received was
faint laugh from the nov distant C.
c!ist
) BoiIceman OF the downtown distri
.ola . tale about a man who was in Il
dock 70 answer to charge OF stealing
ral. of trousers. The prisoner pieads
not guilty and the judge dismissed Il
case. The man was told 10 step out
the dock. but 10 the surprise OF ever
one remained where he was He VI
told TO step cat again. and hhallv Il
counsel, who had put up strong arg
rnent respecting the innocence or
prisoner, leaned over and asked MN v!
he aid not step out The prisoner, in
stage whisper that could be heard I
over the courtroom. made the followii
reply: = can't step out, for the own
Of the pants Is standing only ft
feet away and I've got EN- on
one OF the patrolmen recently pr
NOTED TO the Office of sergeant was fe'
ing in pretty good spirits over his pf
motion. and told about an Irishman !"
was arraigned in The Police Court
assault and battery The frishman
tened very attentiveIy while the
formation was being read, and when I