The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1905-01-19
MEMS COLUMN
Men ought to know that:

There never was a mother that
would take a million dollars apiece
for the children she has or who would
give fifteen cents apiece for any more.
+ + /
There is nothing SO wonderful as
the first baby except twins.
i. i. j.
A girl can't get too much material
into a gown only when she is making
bathing suit.
A girl with pretty feet, trim ankles
and plump calves always falls down
oftener than any other.
j. + i.
If all the preachers were women
there would be great falling off OF
women worshipers.
i. i. +
Tell a man he is just a "plain
man. and he is complimented. Tell
woman that she is just "plain
woman" and there is a row.
!. j. +
When your sweetheart asks you to
tell her plainly what her faults are,
then is the time to do the deaf mute
act.
When you send lady pair of
shoes for a present buy them two
sizes too big. She will be tickled to
think that her feet are smaller than
you think they are.
A girl wants all the attentions of
her lover but she wants all the other
girls to want them too.
i. + i.
When a girl saves the candy her
beau sends her to hire her little
brother to go to bed early the night he
calls, is sure sign some minister is
going to get wedding fee in the near
future.
When girl asks you if you snore
in your sleep things are beginning to
grow interesting.
4. + !.
If it had been the twentieth century
the serpent would have tempted Eve
with a new hat instead of an apple.
He wouldn't had to have argued with
her a minute.
When a woman slips and falls
down on the ice, men don't laugh at
her for wearing hustle.
!. j. i.
When a woman wants to do a
thing and you can't reason her out of
the notion, make her believe that it is
jus. what you wanted her to do and
she won't do it.
No one should marry a girl with
out good figure, figure of 81 ,000, 900
is about right.
When a woman wants to buy a
thing it don't take her long to make
up her mind, but when she just goes
shopping she will daily all day.
A mOther-in-law is a handy thing
to have in the house about baby time.
"A girlish boy is never popular
with the girls.
There never was woman so color
blind that she could not match piece
of ribbon with another of the same
color.
If mothers eyes are blue and
her baby's black she won't call you
liar if you tell her that baby's beauti-
full eyes are just like hers.
If a mother punished her own
children as often as she thinks her
neighbours children ought to be
whipped, kids would have hard time
in this world.
If a man could invent a way to
make women believe that scolding
causes wrinkles and get the method
patented, he would have all the money
in the world inside of six months.
+ i. j.
One reason why there are so few
women in the penitentiaries is because
there they are compelled to wear a
uniform just like every other woman
and it is not pretty either.
i. !. +
"A whole lot of men get married
Just to find out the names of the
numerous mysterious things woman
wears.
If girls did not always get new
dress to get married in there would be
whole lot more old maids than there
are now.
+
Many man scolds his wife be-
cause he don't dare to be SASSY" to