davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Irish standard., 1905-12-23
Suspicious.

The millionaire octogenarian had
welded the beautiful young actress.
You say that you love-" said tn
actress. "Then prove it"
How can II" asked the octogena-
rian anxiously.
why, l am an amateur at picking
wild mushrooms. will pick some, and
IL you eat them l will love you more
than any one on earth
But the wise old man shook his head
II am afraid I would not remain or
earth very long after eating the mush.
rooms you picked" he said simply.
The Irish standard., 1905-12-23

Are you feeling any better?"
mo. I'm in pretty bad shape"
taking anything for IT."
Most everything"
Doctor give you any hope?"
mo. That's about the only thing
lasn't given me-"
The Irish standard., 1905-12-23
8 THROUGH CARS
TO CALIFORNIA.
ENSEnN WEEP

The North Western Line is now run
ming through tourist cars from Minne-
apolis and St. Paul via. Sioux City and
Omaha to Southern California. with a
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25
Knew His Own Yacht.

Truman II. Newberry, the rich
Young Detroiter who is going to sue
coed Assistant Secretary Darling, was
n member OF the Michigan naval mill
tia at the time of the war with Spain.
His fine yacht was rendered to the
government and was used, and Mr..
Newberry himself served as a COM
mon sailor on the Yosemite. When
President Roosevelt was last In De-
troit he made a speech in which he
said
81 cannot say that the story is
true. but they do say that during the
Spanish war common sailor while
scrubbing the decks was asked what
Yacht that was In the distance.
cts the Dawn" replied the sailor.
GLOW do you know was the
query.
"I know said the common sailor,
because own her
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25
Great Bank Squeezes Pennies.

The Worlds Work, in recent Is.
sue, shows how carefully the First
National bank Of Chicago looks to its
postage account. Stamped posts
cards are not used, and not one Of
the thousands of routine letters that
are written every day is stamped and
sealed until the whole routine mail
of the day is assembled In the after
noon. Then all the cards and letters
to one correspondent are put in SIN
gle envelope, and-except for letters
from the officers and the like-the
bank comes as near as possible to get
ting its entire mail carried at 2 cents
an ounce, or 1 cent for every postal
card, instead Of often paying cents
for a quarter of an ounce, as 1t would
have to do If every communication
were sealed and stamped separately
This little matter of getting full value
out of cent stamp makes saving
Of $25 to $50 a day"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25

one woman in twenty-five but what
suffers with some arrangement of the
female organism, and this is the secret
of so many unhappy homes.
No woman can be amiable, light
hearted and happy, a joy to her hus-
band and children, and perform the
duties incumbent upon her, when she is
suffering with backache. headache,
nervousness, sleeplessness, bearing.
down pains, displacemento of the womb,
spinal weakness or ovarian troubles.
liability and snappy retorts take
the place of pleasa tness, and all sun
shine is driven out of the home, and
lives are wrecked by woman's great
cnemy-womb trouble.
Read this letter:
Dear Mrs Pinkham:-
L was troubled for eight years with irregu-
larities which broke down my health and
brought on extreme nervousness and despon-
dency. Lydia e. Pnkhams Vegetable Com
pound proved to be the only medicine which
helped me. Day by day improved in health
while taking 1t until was entirely cured |
can attend to my social and household duties
and thoroughly enjoy life once more, as Lydia
Il. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound has made
me well woman, without an ache or a pain"
Mrs. Chester Curry, AZ Saratoga Street,
Fast Boston, Mass.
At the first indication Of i'll health,
painful or irregular menstruation,
pRir in the side, headache, backache,
bearing down pains, nervousness or
"the blues secure at once bottle of
Lydia r. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound and begin its use,
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25
CREA1 CHANCE
From Change In Food.

The brain depends much more on the
stomach than we are apt to suppose I'M
e.. we take thought in the matter.
Feed the stomach Oh proper food easy
to digest and containing the proper
amount of phosphates and the healthy
brain will respond to all demands. A
notable housewife in Buffalo writes:
1.-THE doctor diagnosed my trouble ms
n nervous affection Of the stomach l
was actually so nervous that l could
not sit still for 1--WE minutes to read the
newspaper, and to attend to my house
hold duties was simply impossible.
doctored all the time with remedies,
but medicine did no good.
MY physician put me on all sorts of
diet, and tried many kinds Of cereal
foods. but none Of them agreed with
me. was almost discouraged, and
when tried Grape-Nuts l did so with
many misgivings-l had no faith that it
would succeed where everything else
had failed.
But it did succeed, and you don't
know how glad am that tried 1t. ]
feel like a new person, have gained in
weight and I don't have that terrible
burning sensation Ii my stomach any
more. feel so strong again that am
surprised at myself. The street noises
that used to irritate me so, never
notice now, and my mind is so clear
that my household duties are real
pleasure"
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich.
There's reason.
Now why was this great change made
in this woman?
The stomach and the brain had not
been supplied with the right kind Of
food to rebuild and strengthen the
nerve centres in these organs. 1t is abb
solute folly to try to do this with
medicine. There ID but one sure way,
and that is to quit the old food that has
failed and take OH Grape-Nuts food,
which is more than half digested in the
process of manufacture and Is rich in
the phosphate of potash contained in
the natural grain, which unltes with
abumen and wnter-the only three
substances that will snake up the soft
gray filling in the thousands Of delicate
nerve centres In the brain and body.
Grape-N Nuts food is a sure road back to
health in all such cases.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25
MODERN METHODS OF SPELLING
Exchange Tells OF Hardshlps They
Caused One Unfortunate.


Imagine the case Of person who
at different periods Of his life was
obliged to learn to spell all over
again." said the professor. ~ knew OF
such a man, not originally a poor
speller, who was compelled thrice TO
take up the study of photography. 1t
happened in this way:
This friend of mine was reared In
the country, attended the school,
and acquired therein the necessary
proficiency under the rules Of the old
time teacher. AS matter Of fact he
learned to spell while standing 1t
was a curious fact that for many
years that man could not spell some
of the simplest words unless he stood
up. On his feet, he was the best
speller in the class, and acquired
many a prize H. the spelling bees,
There was not pupil in those days
who could turn him down, when 1t
came to an exercise in upright ortho
graphy.
Then, years afterward, he had to
learn to spell with a pencil All his
spelling talent went into his pencil.
His tongue had lost Its cunning, and
whether standing or sitting he would
miss the easiest words, unless he used
his pencil.
Finally, with the advent OF the
typewriter, he was obliged again to
learn how to spell, this time with the
machine. Queer thing. isn't 1T I'm
less the word is simple one. my
friends tongue refuses its aid, his
pencil declines to afford its old-time
help, and he is compelled to refer to
the writing machine. And yet he's a
good speller-The Sunday Magazine,
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25
Money Hidden In Books.

Last December an old man known
as NJ, Henri died in the Rue de Patay,
Paris. He was known to possess pri,
yate means, but that they were meager
was indicated by his shabbipess and
the fact that ne lived alone in single
room. When search Of M. Henri's
room was made after his death moth.
ing more valuable was found than two
shelves of dingy looking books, which
we're sold, with his few stocks of fur.
rture, to pay his funeral expenses.
When, however, the buyer Of the books
examined his purchase he discovered
to his amazement two volumes of rare
value-absolutely unique-for every
page of each of them, 500 in all. was
s25 note Of the Bank Of England.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25
Butchers Hair Was Like Wagner's

Wagner, a German folk tale relates,
became afflicted with headache and
determined to have his hair cut. He
accordingly arranged with a barber
to perform the operation on n certain
day. That worthy resolved to make
good thing of it, and accordingly
informed all his customers of Wag.
rer's impending sacrifice,
Most of them paid him certain
sum down. To the BARRIERS horror,
Nine. Wagner superintended the cut
ting. and when it was over appro'
priated the whole Of the coveted locks.
The barber, in despair, confessed
that he had sold them many times
over, whercupon madam suggested
that the butcher had hair much like
Wagner's.
And the story goes that that night
half Dresden slept with the butchers
hair under its pillow.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25
PARROT SEEMED TO KNOW.
Had Sense of Mischief and Profanity
Almost Human.

have always been curious to know
whether a parrot attaches any mean.
ing to the words he utters, says ZOO
philist. Naturalists tell me he doesn't,
hut then they also declare that a
horse hair left in water doesn't turn
into a snake, and everybody who has
ever been young on farm knows
they're entirely wrong about that !
knew a parrot once in Mississippi
town. He was a low-mlnded bird who
used swear words, but 1t seemed to me
that he knew the meaning Of what he
said. One day he sat on chair on
the gallery, watching the antics OF half
a dozen pups. Somebody threw ball
to the pups.
play BALI" screamed Polly.
The pups played till one of them ran
full tilt into a china berry tree and
knocked himself over. Polly laughed.
The pups instantly went for the bird.
They surrounded his chair and they
Invested him of his tail feathers. |
could not help believing that Polly
laughed because the pups mishap
amused him, and know the dogs
grinned as they robbed him of his
feathers. Also he swore at them with
what impressed me at the time as
human intelligence Of the highest or
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25

limbs were badly swollen. One doctor
told me it would finally turn to Bright's
disease. was laid up at one time for
three weeks. had not taken DOan's
Kidney Pills more than three days
when the distressing aching across my
back disappeared, and l was soon en-
tirely cured"
For sale by all dealers. Price, so
cents. Foster Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25
Botanic Blood Balm for the Blood.

Ifyou suffer from ulcers, eczema, scrofula,
blood poison, cancer, eating sores, itching
skin, pimples, bois, bone pains, dwellings,
rheumatism, catarrh, or any blood or skin
disease, we advise you to take Botanic Blood
Balm (B. B. b.. Especially recommended
for old, obstinate, deep seated cases, cures
where all else fails, heals every sore, makes
the blood pure and rich, gives the skin the
rich glow OF health. Druggists, 81 per
large bottle, bottles $3.50, 6 bottles $500,
express prepaid. Sample sent free by writing
Blood Balm Co., Atlanta, Ga. Describe
trouble and free medical advice sent In
sealed letter. Medicine sent at once. pre-
paid.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25
Deafnos. Cannot ia Cursl

bylocalapplications as they cannot reachthe
diseased portion oftheea THERE'S only one
way to cure deafness, and that is by consti-
tutional remedies. Deafness is caused by an
in1amcd condition OF tho mucous lining OF
the Eustechian Tube. Whcnthis tube is In
famed you have rumblingsound or imper-
feet hearing, and when it is entirely closed
Deafness is tho result, and unless the intlam-
nation can be taken out and this tube re-
stored to its normal condition, hearing will
be destroyed forever. Nine cases out Of ten
arecaused by catarrh, which is nothing butau
infiamed condition OF the mucous surfaces.
We will give ono Hundred Dollars for any
case Deafness Caused by catarrh) THAT can
not be curedby Halls Catarrh Cure. Send for
circulars FREQ. FL. CHENEY & Co. Toledo, o.
Sold by Druggists, Toe.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25

The swallow is being annihilated. AS
the birds cross France and Italy going
to Africa in the fan and returning in
the spring they are mcrcilessly slaugh-
tered for the table and the plume
trade Their numbers are visibly de-
creaSiD..
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25

mlco County,
says: 81 sut'-
fered with kid
ncy complaint
for eight years.
1t came Oh me
grad ually. l
felt tired and
W ca k, was
shortof breath
and was trou-
bled w / t h
bloating after
eating, and my
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25
ITCHING SCALP HUMOR
lady Suffered Tortures Until Cured by
Cutie ra-Scratched Day and Night.

Cuticura-ScratchedD Day and Night.
MY scalp was covered with little PIN
pes and 7 suffered fortunes from the itch
ing. ] was scratching all day and night,
and | could get no rest. | washed my
head with hot water and Cuticura Soap
and then applied the Cuticura Ointment
as dressing One box of the ointment and
ono cake of Cutlcura Soap cured me. Now
my head is entirely clear and my hair Is
growing splendidly. | have used Cuticura
Soap ever since and shall never be without
1t. (Signed) Ada e. Smith, 300 Grand st.,
Jersey City, n -
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25

The longest river in the world is the
Nile, 1000 miles; in Europe the Volga,
2,1f4 miles; in Asia, the Yang-tse-Ki-
ang, 3,16o miles, in America the Mis-
sissippi- Missouri, 1856 miles; in Aus
1 m the Murray 2 40 miles.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25
Cheap Newspapers.

Chinese newspapers, owing to the
cheap quality Of paper used and to the
low price OF labor, both literary and
mechanical. arc issued at an extreme
ly small figure. The price Of the
ordinary Shanghai journal is four cash,
or about one-tfth of cent.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25

F1TSpermanentlyc cured. Motifs or nervous.
ssafter first day use of DR.. Kline's Great
NerveRestorer, S2trialbottle and treatise free
Or. II. Il. KLINE. Ltd. .03l Arch St. Phila., Pa.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25

Piso's Cure for Consumption is an infallible
medicine for coughs and colds.-<N W.
SAMUEL, Ocean Grove, N. j., Feb. II, 1900.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25
RESTORED TO HEALTH.
THANKS TO PE-RU-NA
Friends Were AIarmed---
Advised Change Of Climate.

Miss Mildred Keller, us 18th street, N.
W., Washington, ID. c., writes
II can safely recommend Peruna for ca
tarrh | had it for years and it would
respond to no kind of treatment, or if it
did it was only temporary, and on the
slightest provocation the trouble would
come back.
~ ,Uns In such a state that my
friends acre alarmed about me, and
tcas ddri>ed to leave THIS climate
Then trieI Perund, dnd to my
great .jOy found it helped me from
the first dose took, and a reC bottles
cured me.
ut built up my constitution, regaineed
my appetite, and | feel that ! am perfectly
well and strong Mildred Keller.
We have on file many thousand testi
monials like the above. We can give our
readers only slight glimpse of the vast
array of unsolicited endorsements DR..
Hartman is receiving.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for children
tssthing soften the gums, reduces inflamma-
ton ,allays pain cures wind collie, 25c, abottle.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25

Lake Biwa is the only large sheet of
fresh water in Japan.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25

Loeb lay is one of the deepest lakes in
the British Isles.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25

London has 1900 street accidents in
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25

Itch cured in 30 minutes by Woolford's
Sanitary Lotion. Never Fails. Sold by al
druggists, ST. Mail orders promptly filled
by Dr. f. Detchon, Charlottesville, Ind.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25
ANOTHER LEE SAVED.

Mrs. G. w. Fooks, Of Salisbury, Md.
wife of G.. w. Fooks, Sheriff of Wico-
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25

The amount of rice produced In Siam
has increased enormously.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25
LIVING TOO HASTILY
AMERlCANWOMENBREAKD DOWN
Irregularities and Female Derange-
ments Result : Cured by Lydia e.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.

Owing to our mode and manner of
living, and the nervous haste of every
woman to accomplish just SO much
each day, it is said that there is not
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1905-05-25
FREE TO OUR READERS.

In 1880 John Jacob Aston was the only
millionaire in New York.
, 1905-08-16

Detective Hamm, of the Philadel-
peia police bureau, is enjoying cottage
life here, and during the week Detec-
tive Thomas Crawford, accompanied
by his son, enjoyed a brief visit.
Eekford Felsburg, a popular Phila-
delphia boy, is making many friends
as clerk of the Grenoble.
John Mortimer, wife and two inter-
esting children, and Christopher Mar
tens and son, of Philadelphia, are here
for the summer.
Miss Kathryn Sherron, a charming
Philadelphia lady, has been spending
some time with the Misses Hart.
New arrivals at the Shaw cottage are
Mr.. and Mrs. Joseph S. Fife, West
Philadelphia; DR.. saunders and Mr..
Dirgus, Of Camden; Mr.. and Mrs.
Mitchell and daughter, Philadelphia
Mrs. A. q. Clark gave a peanut
scramble" in the breakers last Friday
in honor of Miss Ethel Wilson, of Phil
adelphia, IA very enjoyable and novel
way of entertaining.
, 1905-08-16
A Visitor from Michigan

Miss Cora Y. Bright, principal of the
Public Schools of Jackson, Michigan,
and a cousin of w. H. Bright, sheriff
of Cape May County, and Councilman
John Bright of Wildwood spent a few
days at Wildwood visiting relatives
here. This is the first time Miss
Bright ever saw the ocean She was
very much impressed with the beau
ties of this resort and took away many
fine specimens in botany. By a pecu-
liar coincidence Miss Bright resides on
Wildwood avenue, Jackson, Michigan.
, 1905-08-16

Lewis Aberle and Miss Aberle, of
Carlisle, Pa, are the guests of their
sister, Mrs. A. w. Walton, on Youngs
avenue. Mrs. Walton's niece, Miss
Bertha Aberle, is also here.
For Sale.-A jump seat carriage III
good order. Apply to Chas. Greaves,
Holly Beach, N. j.
Mrs. Richard Moorson, of Washing
ton, d. c., is visiting her father, DIR.
Chas. A. White, in the latter's Burke
avenue cottage. Other guests there are
his sister, Mrs. Mary l.. Vandegrift of
Philadelphia, whose stay here is bene-
fitting her health; Mrs. Annie Chea-
tam of New York; Mrs. Rebecca
Means, Mrs. Sarah Kinsey, of AS
bury Park; George Guttear, of Los
Angeles; Mrs. Elizabeth McCutcheon,
of Arizona.
Miss Nellie Blinn, a very popular
young lady, has been spending some
time with friends in Seaville.
Herman Carstadt and George Or
wood, of Philadelphia, are late arrivals
at the Grenoble.
George II. Kittams, a prominent
Philadelphia, has bought two lots ON
Leaning avenue of Frederic Sutton adj
joining the Titus estate, and is arrang-
ino tn hniId N ina Itnnnl, 70 ho Aaa,,
pied by himself and his estimable wife.
, 1905-08-16
WILDWOOD SINGING
IMPRESSES BRITONS
PLEASANT SUNDAY EVE. CONCERT
A Cottage to be Erected at Park
and Maple Avenues by Chas.
F. Mcclure, a Prominent
Philadelphia Business
Man. other Items

After conducting from the stage the
choral singing in the auditorium of the
new ocean pier last Sunday evening,
Thomas Martindale, the well-known
Philadelphia merchant, related the fol-
lowing incident
"On August LIST there arrived in New
York a lady and gentleman from Eng
land who were bound on their first
trip to our land of great achievements
and of greater possibilities. They were
shown some of the glories of New York,
including Central Park, a trip through
a big department store, the crowds on
Broadway, a trip over to Brooklyn by
way of the great bridge, took their first
glass of ice cream soda they had ever
had in their lifetimes, then they were
whisked over to Philadelphia on a
fast flying train, taking their first meal
on a train in motion.
"After sightseeing awhile in the
City of Brotherly Love, they were
rushed down to Wildwood on the nine
ty-minute flyer and here they rested
for a few days before starting to see the
wonders of Niagara Falls, the great
West, the lake of the Thousand Islands
and other to them attractive features.
"Shortly before they left on this
eventful journey | asked them what
had impressed them most of the things
they had heard or seen in this Land
of the Free?' The gentleman replied
that of all the things that appealed to
him as wonderful and strange, moth
ing had made such an impression upon
them as the singing on the boardwalk
at Wildwood on the previous Sunday
evening.
"'In the years to come he said, Il
may forget Central Park, the Brooklyn
bridge. the crowds on Broadway, the
big stores, your fast moving trains
with their regal appointments, the
wonderful scenery | have passed
through, and the charms of seaside life
in America, but, as long as | live, L
cannot forget how much | was touched
and how much | was pleased by the
singing on the board walk. For here,
5000 miles from home, | heard the
same noble hymns and tunes sung as
/ have heard them sung hundreds of
times in my own country-but V
with such a setting: With the ocean
in front, Ocean Bound, Flower
Gowned, Forest Crowned Wildwood
at the rear; the band and the surging
crowd in the centre-all joining in
singing these old hymns and songs i'll
such a name as can never be forgot
ten.o
MI. Martindale added that his friend
had stated the case truly; that many
of the people here who had Joined the
past six Sunday nights in the singing
on the board walk would probably soon
forget the delights of the ocean bathing,
the strolls on the boardwalk and of
the amusements and joys of this hal
Continued OH PACED