davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24
Trrinr n Joke.

Some years ago in North Carolina
sorrt, Judge Shipp presiding, the trial
pf cause had been protracted till near
midnight The jury were tired and
sleepy and showed tagging attention.
Willie Murchison, who was addressing
the jury, thought TO arouse them, so he
said. Gentlemen, l will tell you an
anecdote." Instantly the judge, the
Jury and the few spectators pricked
up their ears and were all attention, as
Murchison was admirable in that line
had fund Of anecdotes and no one
could tell them better. But he soon
proceeded to tell one of the dullest'
prosicst and most pointless jokes pos
sible. Everybody looked disappointed
The Judge, leaning over, said in an un-
mistakable tone of disappointment
"NIr. Murchison, I don't see the point
of that Joke" Nor l, either" replied
the witty counsel. But your honor
told it to me on our way down here,
and. as thought the lack of apprecia-
/ ton must be due to my obtuseness,
concluded to give the joke trial by
| Jury"
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24
rh. Knnu1edre Tint Pays.

If you glance round at the work of
some of our big men you will be sur
prised to see how many have made
their reputation by doing one small
thing, but doing it well. If man gets
to the front in one narrow subject the
world credits him with knowledge OF
all the rest. 1t is, however, even easier
to acquire n large general knowledge
than an advanced special knowledge of
one narrow subject. The specially
must not be too narrow either. 1t IS
often said that the pursuit of knowl-
edge has a nobility of its own. But
what knowledge? No knowledge Is
worth obtaining for its own or any
other sake unless it is or will probably
be useful to man.-James Swinburne in
Electrical Review.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24
NIuiIa In 1T4T.

The change in postal arrangements In
Inw York since the good old times"
Jay be seen by the following adver-
isement, copied by the Troy Times
from Bradfords New York Gazette of
Dec. 6. 114I:
Cornelius Van Denburgh as Albany
Post designs to set out for the first
time this winter on Thursday next. All
letters to go by him are desired to be
sent to the postoflice or to his house
near the Spring Garden"
During Hudson river navigation the
Albany mail was transmitted by sloops
but in the winter Il messenger, as above
mentioned. was required, and it is prob
able that he Travelled on foot The win
ter average of the eastern and .southerl
mails is given in the same paper ant
same date as follows:
"On Tuesday the Tenth Instant at
o'clock in the Forenoon the Boston ant
Philadelphia Posts set out from New
York to perform their stages once
Fort'nit during the Winter months an
are to set out at o'clock Tuesda
morning. Gentlemen and merchants ar
desired to bring their letters in tint
n. B.-This Gazette will also com
forth on Tuesday Mornings during tha
time"
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24

The gauge by which worldly prosper
ity is measured is not always the same.
But it does not so much matter what
standard is used so long as it shows
accurately the amount of gain or loss.
81 remember Bill Gassett as shift
less young ne'er do well" said for
mer nelghbor of Mr.. Sands, revisiting
his old home after many years absence,
''but l hear he left his widow quite
substantial property. How did he man.
age itT'
HE made choice of an excellent wife,
and she took him as the smartest wom-
en- often take the poorest specimens OF
the men folks" said Mr. Sands thought
fully, "and, what's more, she made
something of him, put some gimp into
him and what all. Why, sir, when he
married her all he had for a mattress
was an old makeshift stuffed with
dried leaves, and when he died he had
no less'n three mattresses stuffed with
live goose feathers. l guess that tells
the story youths Companion.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24
Magnet Power.

The lifting OF massive iron and steel
plates weighing four, six and twelve
tons by magnetism is now done every
workday in 4 number of large steel
works. The magnets are suspended by
chains from cranes and pick up the
plates by simple contact and without
the loss of time consequent to the ad-
iustment of chain and hooks in the
older method. 1t is also found that the
metal plates can be lifted by the mag
nets while still so hot that it would be
impossible for the men to handle them.
A magnet weighing 300 pounds will lift
nearly five tons.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24
Two Kinds of Reading.

If we make the pages Of our books
merely a sort of pleasant maze in
which to set our minds to wandering
during idle hours we in reading shall
have acquired pastime that is usually
harmless. But there is a vast differ
ence between such way OF spending
our time and the reading that teaches
us to think as the greatest and wisest
men and women have thought. Words
stand in our minds for certain ideas
or images. From what we read we
learn to make these plain or haZy, clear
" drawn pictures or carelessly execut-
ed sketches. and thus our powers OF
thinking are directly trained by on
method Of reading.-St Nicholas.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24

General Sir f. Hamley is cited as
the authority for good anecdote about
Bismarck. Hamley was sitting close
to the chancellor at luncheon, with the
old Emperor William not far of.
Bismarck, talking rather loudly, de-
scribed the old monarch as being gen
erous, but very forgetful Hamley got
nervous, as he thought the emperor
would hear. "For instance" continued
Bismarck, Il pleased him the other
day. and he asked me what he could
do for me. l said, Give me a dozen OF
that Tokay you have in your cellars,
and he said he would But" added
Bismarck, raising his voice still higher
'he hasn't done it," Here Hamley
hastily broke in, 81 beg your pardon
but am really afraid the emperor vii
hear you." 81 want him to hear me!
roared Bismarck. That's just what
want" And a smile broke over thu
face of his imperial master.-"FiftI
Years of Fleet Street"
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24

When we have spell o weather"
and wet weather at that, we have only
to recall the climatic conditions Of
Dartmoor, in England, in order to be
thankful for a little.
The moor has, says writer in Corn
hill, an eternal procession Of clouds,
infinitely varied in form, lighted with a
white radiance or lowering in gloom
rent, tattered or filmy, gathering, men
acing, creeping round to swath you in
a mist of rain or dropping one Of those
silvery showers lighted with sunshine
from behind.
OF heavier rain there is no lack, anC
all one can say of the perennially beau
tiful moor is summed up in the vers'
invented by its enemies:
The south wind always brings us rain.
| The north wind blows it back again.
| The west wind surely means wet weather
| The east wind wet and cold together.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24
One Aarnntage OF nnEIana,. FoE..

One Advantage of EnEIand's FoEH.
"Should scientists succeed in finding
ways and means for dispelllng the fog
gy condition Of England's atmosphere
l am afraid that country will lose more
than it gains" said weaver. "One OF
the reasons why English weavers pro
duce fabrics of finer and softer finish
than American weayyTs from the same
quality of cotton and other yarn is be
cause of the damp condition of the at
mosphere in that country at all times.
1T is a well known fact that yarn
kept continually and uniformly damp
will spin finer and softer than that dry
ing out in the process of weaving,
Thousands of dollars have been spent
by our weavers in appliances TO keep
their shops uniformly humid, but thus
far without success. The fine quality
of panama hats, for instance, If the
straw were not kept damp while the
process of weaving is on, could not be
produced. The straw is not worked un'
der water, as many suppose, but Is
kept uniformly damp by being worked
in the early morning hours when
heavy dew is falling. milwaukee Sen
tinal
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24

One of the most important processes
used for waterproofing dress materials
is on the lines of the old alumina proc
ess. In this case the factor used is
rosin dissolved in large bulk of pc
troleum spirit. The fabrics to be proof
ed are passed through bath of this
solution and dried to drive OFF the
solvent. Following this, the goods are
treated by pressing with hot polished
metal rollers. This last process melts
the small quantity Of rOsln which is
deposited on the cloth and leaves each
single fiber with an exceedingly thin
film of rosin on it.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24
Could BE Happy If We wished.

If in a less fortunate time than ours,
when the resources of mind and body
were less varied and plentiful than
they are now, men and women took de-
light in life, warmed both hands at Its
fire and filed their hearts with joy and
gladness, may we not conclude that
they were happy simply because they
lived, as we might, in the right way,
and put to their right uses that which
was provided for them m?-Christian Reg
lister
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24
Position In Sleep.

According to DR.. Fischer Of Berlin
the most effective position of sleep for
obtaining intellectual rest is to keep the
head low and the feet slightly elevated
Failing this, the body should at any
rate be horizontal, so as to irrigate the
brain well. The habit Of sleeping with
head low and feet high is, according tc
the doctor, a remedy for brain troubles
and some internal maladies. 1t can be
adopted gradually.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24
A Finny Acrobat.

No two leaps of the tarpon are quite
alike. As the tarpon comes out into
day his Jaws distend, his gills flap open
and the mullet bait flies out across the
water for a hundred feet while ne
retches at the hook, shaking his head
angrily from side to side, like a horse
that fights his bit In midhight he VIII
turn and cut into the stream with q
head on dive that makes perfect cieav'
age of the whitened water. His next
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24
III Luck Ayerted.

''My dear" said Mrs. spenders by
way Of preliminary, would you con
slider an opal unlucky"
81 would If 1 got a bill for one and
had to pay it," began her husband
sternly.
"oh," she interrupted, "Pm so glad
I ordered a diamond instead!'-Cath-
olic Standard and Times.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24
Fore... and National Prosperity.

AS a living example of the conse-
auences of deforestation we need sim
ply look to Spain, country which cen
turies ago was rich in timber and agri-
cultural products, a proud seafaring
nation of world conquerors. Spain's
decadence dates from the time when
her timber supply became exhausted,
her shipbuilding relaxed and her bar
ren, unprotected soil ceased to bear
fruit.-Forum.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24

emergence may Je a back somersault
and his third long distance jump with
no height to it, but substantial gain
In feet. With infinite spirit he will
continue his play until absolutely worn
out, when the spring and somersault-
ing lapse into long, rolling stroke
from side to side, showing the two foot
dorsal filament, which waves and floats
out behind, like some independent wa
ter creature.-Country Life In Amer
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24
Oyereducnted Hindoos.

There exists among India's educated
classes a mad desire for professional
vocations. Take a walk in certain
streets in India, and you will observe
perfect panorama Of signboard depict
ing professional callings, and the busi-
ness houses are principally conspicuous
by their absence.-Times of India.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24
ALnnr Why Around.

A man with large family of daugh-
ters on his hands may profit by the fol-
lowing suggestion: An old lady who
had several unmarried daughters fed
them largely on a fish diet because, as
she ingeniously observed, fish is rich
in phosphorus, and phosphorus is use
full in making matches"
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24
Most Deadly of Insults.

Fweddie-That creature actually told
me to mind my own business. y'knowl
Cholly - The impertinent wretch!
Fweddie-P Positively insulting! AS If to
insinuate, don't y'know, that was In
usiness!-Cleveland Leader.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24
Time to Begin.

Are you doing as much to brighten
this world as a single sunbeam does?
Are you scattering as much fragrance
in the lives about you as is shed by
one little violet? Do you refresh tired
hearts as a drop of rain refreshes a
dropping plant? II not, 1t is time to
begin.-Detroit Free Press.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24
III. Sun Mondern.

Finnegan-Oh, yis, OF can under
sthand how thin astronomers can cal
kilate tn distance av a shtarr, its
weight and dinsity and color and all
that but tn thing thot gets me Is how
they know its name-Puck.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24
Her First Dinner.

EYES," said Newliwed, my wife and
are housekeeping now. She prepared
our first dinner last night with her own
fair hands"
"How was it?" asked Bacheller.
"Well, the nuts and raislns were
nne."-Philadelphia Ledger.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24

Wyte - Browne is very economical,
isn't he? Black-Browne? Well, I'll
tell you. Browne is the sort Of man
who, when he wants an awl and hasn't
any, instead of buying one Will go
to work to make one by Strengthening
out a corkscrew.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24

Aunt Hannah-Have you told any
one Of your engagement to Mr.. Sweet
er? Edith-No; haven't told soul
except Bessie Miller. who thought he
was going to ask her.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24

Cholly-D'you know, I'm sometimes
inclined to think Clara encouraging
ly-Why don't you do 1t, Cholly? It's
not such a difficult thing If you really
try
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24
A Puzzle.

Miss nowfake-What did Jim Jack
son git married for? Miss Washtub-
Goodness only knowsl He keeps right
on workin' Puck.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24

Nobody can help being born stupid.
but anybody can help becoming stu
pider than he was born.-Lady Helen
Forbes.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1905-06-24

Be ignorance thy choice where knowl-
edge leads to woe.-Beattie.
The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1905-09-10
A THREE CoRNEsED FIGHT ON.
The Prevailing Sentiment in Durham
is That Prohibition Will Again
Wic.
Especial to News and Observer

Especial to News ana observer
Durham, n. c., Sept. 9.-There is
sure enough three cornered fight
over the whiskey question. All three
sides are knocking the other two sides
and much is being said in the news
papers. The prohihitionists are fight
ing both saloon aid dispensary on
the question Those lin favor of the
saloons are saying that they will vote
prohibition before they will stand for
a dispensary, and the dispensary folks,
as a rule, say they will not support
saloons and that if they are forced to
it they will support prohibition rather
Ethan saloons. Then the dispensary
and saloon folks. at least some of
them. are charging the other side
with bad faith.
For the past few days the dispen-
sary petitions have been kept very
close The advocates for the open
saloon are pushing their petitions in
all parts of the town. They are
claiming the earth but the general
impression is that if the question is
saloon or prohibition there will be
but one way for the question to be
settled-that will he to keep prohibi-
ton. That is the prevailing senti-
ment In circulating the saloon pc
ttions the story is being told that the
dispensary advocates have dropped
the idea of getting an election on the
dispensary question. One of the
prominent advocates of this was asked
if this is so. He replied that it was
not. That the dispenSary advocates
We're not rushing the matter and that
he did not consider there would be
any question about getting a sufficient
number of SignerS to call the election.
When he was asked about the open
saloon side he shook his head and
said that the move would not amount
to anything, unless it was to defeat
the move made by those in favor of
the diSpenSary
In the meantime the prohibitionists
are not saying much They are
Whetting up, however and getting
ready for the entire proposition. With
most of the prohibitionists there is
little difference between saloon and
dispensary. They are fighting Whis-
key in every form.
The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1905-09-10
BLACKBURN AND PRICE.
No Application for Removal of Latter
Unless by Personal Letter to
Moody.
Especial to News and Observer)

Especial to News and Observer
Washington d. c., Sept. 9.--It is
stated on the highest authority at the
Department of Justice today that Rep
reSentative Blackburn has not made
application for the removal OF Price
unless by personal letter to Attorney
General Moody, who is not now III
Washington. Acting Commissioners of
Internal Revenue Robert Willard said
today that no report had been receiv-
ed in regard to grand jury investiga-
lions at Greensboro. There appears
to be a tendency among officials OF
the bureau to regard the whole mat
ter as a case of party diSsension UNI
fortunately involving two departments
of the Federal Government, and it is
intimated that the President may take
hand.
1t is learned at the Department of
Justice that it is not in receipt of any
information as to Greensboro investi-
CATION.
The Patent Office has this week is
sued patents to North Carolina in
ventors as follows: Alexander II.
Masters, Greensboro, for power
transmitter; Stewart w. Cramer,
Charlotte, for a humidifier; Charles
w. Evans, Heggie, for d ratchet stock
and die and to William p. Wingatc,
Waxhaw for a yarn guard for reels.
e. B. Dewey, Raleigh. and Miss
Laura Wiley, Greensboro, are heIe
today.
Miss Flora Dale has been appoint
ed postmistress at Yadkin College.
The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1905-09-10
YOUNG DUAN On TRIAD.
The Boy Who Blew OFF the Top Of
His Brothers. Head.
Especial to News and Observer

(oDeCld1 TO News ana ODSeGN6I.t
Asheville. n. c.. Sept. 9.-The trial
of Young Doan, of Yancey county, for
the murder of his 14-year-Old broth
er several months ago, is in progress
at huntsville this week. Doan is
charged with the murder of his young
brother while out hunting several
months ago. 1t is said that the two
Doans, in company with a third COM
panion were hunting 1on Chestnut
Mountain, not a great distance from
the home of the Doans, that the elder
Doan shot at bird and missed. Which,
the elder Doan missed the bird the
younger brother and the companion
laughed This angered the man with
the gun, and placing the stock of the
weapon on the ground he began ram
ming a wad of paper in the barrel
with the remark, keep on laughing,
d you, and I'll give you something
to laugh about
The brother and their companion
continued to laugh while the elder
Doan rammed the wad in the gun.
Then young Doan started to run,
whereupon the elder brother threw
the gun to his shoulder and fired The
paper wad struck the boy in the back
of the head, tearing the whole top
of his head off.
The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1905-09-10
THE ARMY WORMS RAvAGEs.
The Pest Appears i'm Craven County.
Damaging the Cotton Crop
Thirty Per Cent.

New Bern. n. c., Sept. 9.-The raw
ages of the army worm, which made
its appearance in Craven county about
ten days ago, have been very severe,
especially in the cotton fields, which
in many instances present the specta-
Gle of bare stalks and bolls, the leaves
being swept entirely away. Where the
land is rich the worm is found in
swarms, but it will not thrive, on
poor land. Wherever it attacks the
cotton plant the bolls quickly shrivel
up.
It is safe to say that the damage
to this crop in Craven county by the
pest so far is so per cent
At some places, however, the devas-
tation of the worm has been checked
and the worm itself killed. Mr.. w.
H. Bray is one of those who knows
how to fight the destroyer and is do
ing good work. The spraying mixture
which he uses for this purposes is As
gallons of water, gallons Bordeaux
mixture and one pound of Paris green.
The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1905-09-10
Editor and MarshalS.

Especial to News and Observer
Wake Forest College, Sept. 9.-This
morning at a regular meeting OF the
EuZelian Literary Society the tolloW-
ing members of that society were
chosen marshaIs for the Anniversary
Celebration of the Literary Societies
which takes place February loth ):
Chief Marshal Mr.. Frank Hill Petree.
of Danburv Stokes county; assistants,
Messrs. CLYDE jenkins. of Aulander.
BERTHE county, and Ashley Bryan, of
Scotland Neck
Charles O. Leonard, of Statesvllle'
was chosen associate editor OF the
Wake Forest Student for the ensuing
year
Mr.. c. c. Cook. who was in school
here several years ago and is now
making his home in Florida, is mere
on his wav to Henderson, where ne
will be married Monday to Miss Lena
Burrows, Dr. ]. w. Lynch, of this
place, officiating. Miss Burrows was
The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1905-09-10

be hoped that whatever they might
be. good would result in the future.
not only IN the enforcement of the
law. but in respect for the law. NO
system of laws after all could be
longer respected or enforced without
a healthy public sentiment. Good
laws should be enforced for the bene-
1t they would bring, and bad laws
often brought about their correction.
amendment or repeal by enforcement.
But officials had nothing to do with
the character of the law in their
duty, and the oaths they took, wheth-
err as court officers or otherwise de-
manded faithful observance Il have
40 doubt that you have sincerely and
faithfully performed your duty. The
court, Of course. knows that you have
been called on 20 investigate charges
Of official misconduct. The court
does not know the result of your in
yestigation, but the fact that reports
Of malfeasance are being and have
been investigated can have nothing
but good effect So that whatever
may be the result the court feels that
it will bring good results by punish
ing men If they be guilty of such mis-
conduct, and at least a warning to
all who might be inclined to violate
their official obligations"
But few were in the court room.
the coming of the grand jury not be-
ing generally known. In the bar
sat District Attorney Holton, Assist
ant District Attorney Price and the
following representatives of the gov
eminent from Washington. who have
been laboriously aiding the court Off
Gals in their Investigations Special
assistants of the Department of JUS
tice: Captain j. NJ. Wright and +. J..
McAdams and representative of the
Commissioner of Internal Revenue j.
N Sha
The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1905-09-10
Outwitting Il Lawyer.
(EXchange.)

Mrs "Stoncwall" Jackson. widow
of the famous Confederate general
who now lives in Charlotte n. c.. was
chatting a lawyer of her acquaintance
about the fees demanded by members
of the profession.
"Still, there are occasion when a
lawyer isn't the chief beneficiary of
a suit" said Mrs. Jackson. II know
of one instance A friend of mine in
Virginia sued a railroad company for
damages and secured a verdict of
$4,000. which was paid; and the
whole amount is now in bank subject
to her order. Her counsel didn't get
a penny of it."
How was that?"
"She found the only way of outwit-
ting him"
What did she do?"
she married the lawyer