The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1905-09-28
THE RESCUE OF THE CHINA
And Some Front Porch Vaudeville.

MI. Blther ear ne could distinguish
the excited voice Of his wife almost
shrieking:
Call Mr.. Blithers to the phone
please. Oh, is that you Blithie dear
Come home right away and unlock the
door and OH! hurry. Don't lose a min
ute! I'm outside and 1 know he'll
break the cut glass tumblers," and
bang! went the connection leaving Mr.
Blither's face a study in questioning
amazement.
Knowing that his wife never called
him "Blithie dear" except in stressful
moments, he decided to go at once and
so boarded the first Brooklyn avenue
car.
AS he turned the corner a very I'M
usual sight greeted him. Mrs. Blithers
in busting cap and apron. the center Of
a group Of neighbors all cutting the
most extraordinary capers on the lawn
now tapping on the pantry window,
and making faces" now playing peep
boo behind their hands. Mrs. McCorkle
dancing impossible steps to Mrs. Blith-
er's elaborate patting. On closer in
sp%ection, he discovered the face of his
2-year-old son pressed against the
pane from within, highly amused by
the unusual entertainment.
"Oh, I'm SO glad you've come, at last.
We've kept him amused at the window
for a half hour and I'm nearly dead.
NSN' 49, L g. NetosAii liN NoD-
met and stepped out to shake my dust
er, when the baby slammed the door
after me-" hurriedly explained Mrs.
Blithers as her husband was reaching
for his keys and lingering the bunch
for the proper one. do hurry, for all
the china is out on the table and oh
oh-Tm sure l heard something break
Ing"
But Mr.. BHthers was by now trans
fixed with despair. His latch key was
In his other trousers, safely locked in
the house.
III you hadn't had those horrid snap
things put on all the doors and win
II he breaks my daffodil plate or the
Tiffany vase 1 shall never speak to
o again." this with a fearful sniff.
My dear" calmly replied her hus-'
band those horrid snap things were
put on because you were afraid Of
burglars. But this is no time for tears
or sarcasm"
How to get in and save the treasures
from the little vandal hands was the
question. After a careful tour Of every
nook and Granny, it was discovered
that the house was as impregnable as
the Rock of Gibraltar.
. The antics of the group at the VIM
dow We're palling on the little prisoner
n something must be done and done
quickly.
Fortunately it was a modern house,
modern to the extent OF the ice box
having an opening through the wall
through which the iceman filed it. This
was the only hope; but such a meager
hope. The opening was for a hundred
pounds Of ice and Mr.. Blither's girth
what one might term ample.
You must do it. II you don't I Will.
and how will that look for you to stand
by n me to crawl in head firSt?" Mrs.
Blithers grew fairly hysterical.
At the picture her huband hesitated
no longer. Off came his coat and cuffs.
Keep up the Show around there.
Well be in in a jiffy," called he as
cheerfully as if he hadn't just dropped
h chunk.of ice on his new Panama.
I; The ice all removed it was next his
wife's turn to take out the provisions,
and surely never before had the box
been so filled with 'eatables." 1t GER
She bottom. After surrounding herself
with a goodly row Of cantaloupes,
tomatoes, old meat, yeast, cream, milk,
cheese and innumerable dainties, she
arose with = relieved look.
Nov, dear, all We've to do, is to open
the door,"
But to open the refrigerator door
on the other side! All efforts
proved in vain. At last Mrs. Blithers
brought the clothes prop and heroically
said:
Break it in; I don't care"
Mr.. Blltlers gave a confident 'chug,"
no result. and with each successive
"chug" the ~good-natured smile which
had so far wreathed his face faded un-
til when the door at last gave way,
those behoind noticed an angry red
behind his ears.
Now came eight different suggestions
as to the method Of procedure from
eight interested nelghbor women. borne
in digniied though omnibus silence by
the leading actor. Then politely but
acidly he intimated hat he preferred a
smalled audience for the rest Of the en-
trance.
First he tried head foremost. That
do. He couldn't get any use
of his arms that way. 1t must be feet
first. In he slipped them, steadied by
his wife, and then with a gentle boost
he made good progress. until his belt
refused to pass over the floor Of the
chest.
At this interesting point Mrs. Nc
Corkle ran hurriedly around the corner
of the pantry. He won't stay at the
window any longer and heard a
dreadful crash just now. Do hurry, Mr..
Blithers!"
Hurry! That was the last straw.
Hurry, to a maj caught in an aperture
the circumference Of which was two
inches smaller than his waist measure.
Although his breath was very short he
managed to say something that sound
ed like empty headed chatterbox" and
."giggling idiots for just as his dis
comfort was about to rent itself in
more explosive words he was greeted
by shrieks Of laughter.
The banished onlookers had been
peeping, and when they discovered him
stuck in the hole it was too much to
restrain their merriment. In a moment
a deep bass ha-ha Joined them from
the unfortunate man, who could not
but see the ridiculous in the situation.
Laughing heartily they Zach lent a
willing hand to boost. Either this, or
his w laughter dislodged his belt,
and in he slipped.
A radiant face greeted Mrs. Blithers
as she burst in through the now open
door.
Why. dear, the pantry door was
closed and he hasn't been near the
china; he was playing with a boxful OF
pieces saved from your other broken
dishes. That was the crash you
heard" and they covered the aston
ished Billy with kisses.
Undoubtedly.