davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15
CONFEDERATE WIT AND HUMoR.
Publications That Amused Southern
Readers In War Time.
From the Mobile Register.

From the Mobile Register.
C. o. Fulton of this city brings to this
office three wartime funny papers, one Oh
which had it's publication office in Mobile
one in Richmond and one in grimm Ga.
All three are in the same folio or London
Punch style. The Mobile publication is
entitled 1.-The Confederate Spirit and
Knapsack of Fun; a Humorous Monthly,
Devoted to Wit, Humor and the Spirit OF
the Times" II. C. Clarke. publisher; Will
liam F. Wisely, No. 3S ST. Michael street,
Mobile, Ala Not much can be made out
of the frontispiece, save that 1t repre-
sents a wrapped package, with the con-
tents pictured on the wrapper. Inc nrst
five pages are devoted to miscellany, not
humorous except for vignettes in the cor
ners, with local applications, as, for ex-
ample: Jane Maria NEWLY married.
Just think that congress talks OF put
ting in the army all who have substitutes,
and Charles Augustus will have to leave
soon and go and fight those horrid Yam
KEGS This is headed The Great Sub
ject of the Day"
The editor begins on page 6 a carica-
ture of the Confederate congress. Rich
mond correspondence comes next. Then
there is a cartoon, half page, showing
a New York reception and an obfuscated
Individual soliloquzng: Il used to make
a day on calls without getting (hic) hap
by, but this peach brandy and Confeder-
ate (hic) whisky rather makes more calls
on me than ! (hic) am able to stand
Artemus Ward and Josh Billings are re-
lied upon to fill up the waste places in
the paper. There are a great many con-
trlbuted articles from the camps and else
whore, all more or less written in the
spirit of fun.
1.-THE Southern Punch is the name of
the Richmond publication. Overall, Camp
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15

BY We Old Timer, In the Pittsburg Dis
patch.
IF there are any woman sunragists NIT
ting about in the celestial spheres
they are likely to make it warm for
the ungallant clergymen who disfran-
chised their sex in the New York Cathe-
draI of st. John the Divine, when those
clerics exchange this world for another
that is as warm as consistent with the
region to which ministers are supposed
to go. OF course we know-now that the
fact Is brutally called to attention-that
when Holy Writ represented visiting
angel as clothed the garments were mas
culine; but we are not a bit thankful for
the reminder. More In wrath than in
sorrow we are tempted to scream, give
us back the maiden divinities OF our
pagan fancy
of the cathedral might have retorted, IF
angels are not female neither are they
male and If art is to represent them at
all in human form, and decorously
clothed, why not as well array them In
skirts or nighties as in coats and trous-
ers, and thus save the feelings of tho
tenderly devout as well as of the ar
tstic soul? When our Savior declared
that I'm the next world men and women
are neither married nor given in marri-
age, but are as the angels in heaven.
does not His language imply that angels
are sexless? Besides, wings and things
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15
SUPERNATURAL LORE
REGARDING ANGELOLOGY

match better with feminine fixin's than
with masculine evening dress"
But the New. York clericals were not
the first to give the popular taste in the
matter of the sex of categorical figures a
hard Jolt The poet Bryant Is an Of
fender, as witness this apostrophe
20 Liberty, thou art not as poets dream,
A fair young girl with light and delicate
limbs;
A bearded man, armed to the teeth. art
thouv'
OF course, Bryant may be right, since
the sword which Liberty Yields is a more
fitting weapon for man than for a
woman, and artistic license might not toll
crate a broomstick or rolling pin. or
even a hatpin: but, all the same, who
would relish the idea of meeting in an
alley on a dark night the god of Liberty
with whiskers?
But even as far back as the Dark
Ages theology ruled that angels must be
represented plctorially as men. The ques-
ton of permitting artistic representation
of the heavenly host arose during the
second council of Nice. and that body
decided to permit such representation.
The artists of that time usually depicted
angels as beautiful young men. with
wings, flowing garments, naked feet.
harps and other old-fashioned musical in
struments.
angels whose visits to earth are recorded
by the Bible did strenuous work, more
fitting for masculine strength than for
feminine loneliness. 1t was more becom-
ing for Jacob to receive the worlds first
lesson in the manly art of jui-jitsu from
a being In male attire, although it was
very light Japanese touch that dis
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15


"Innumerable are the causes of suicide
jealousy unrequited love, an incurable
disease melancholy, poverty and so on.
II knew a man who was prosperous
and apparently happy. Suddenly de-
sire for death seized him. In three
moons he said, L will go home to my
fathers And he calmly settled his at
fairs, and at the appointed time bade his
wife to knot a cord about his throat and
hts two sons to pull upon the cord till
he should be strangled. He died, they
told me, joking.
1.-The death coat, which hangs in ev-
cry Chukchee house, has a hood. 1t Is
for use in suicide. The hood hides the
facial contortions of the dying.
There are Chukchee families wherein
suicide is hereditary, wherein 1t Is
point of honor for the sons to kill them
selves. a natural death being regarded
in such families as disgraceful and scam
dalous, a sign of the most objectionable
cowardice.
1.-The Chukchees,, despite their suicidal
tendency, are happy and healthful peo-
pie. moral, truthful, brave and temper
ate"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15

abled the human hero of the wrestling
match.
Strictly speaking the angel of Bible
times was a messenger" That Is the
meaning of the Greek word and of the
Hebrew word that are translated AN
GEL Only a very few OF these visitors
from above, such Michael and Gabriel
were given names. 1t is not clear-dt
least to many minds-that the sacred
writers intended to endow them with a
personality of their own. Some believe
that their appearances to the patriarchs
and others were self-manifestations of
the Deity, for even when they used the
pronoun ~ the word clearly referred to
God himself as speaking. Other theolo-
gians hold that where angels are intro
duced into the Bible narrative the mean
ing is allegorical purely, just as we now
personify Cupid or the Goddess of Lib
erty, without seriously pretending that
any such personages ever really existed.
Biblical mention of angels is usually
vague. and nowhere In the Scriptures is
there clear statement of the creation
of such supernatural beings. However,
that is a question for theologians. l am
out of the controversy
The allegorical Interpretation seems to
be strengthened by a number of passages,
of which this is an example: HE maketh
the winds his messengers, flaming fire his
ministers"
The Dark Ages produced quite myth
ology of angelic lore. but space forbids
my going into that interesting subject. 1t
used to be the common belief that each
human being had his own personal guar
dian angel who performed that office for
him alone.
Some theologians assert that the an
cient Jews never knew anything about
either angels or the devil until late In
their Babylonian captivity, when they bor-
rowed those conceptions from the pagan
faith of their Persian masters. But that,
too, is a question leave to Biblical schol-
ars
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15
Co.; STEELE~SMlTH, 1928 I'd Ave.

bell. Hughes & Co, publishers. 1t con-
tains eight pages only. and is little more
than reprint of jokes from the humor-
Gus columns of Harper's, Leslie's and
Punch. some of the jokes being given
local color. The illustrations are poor.
There is little wartime flavor in the pa
per Date, September 10, 1868.
1.-The Bugle Horn of Liberty by Hill
& Swayze, of Griffin, Ca, is another six
teen-page monthly, dated October, 1868.
The pictures are few and of little inter-
est A double-page article on the adven-
lures of Gen. John Morgan Is illustrated
with job cuts, after the style introduced
by John Phoenix" but without any OF
Phoenix's wit. Letters from the front
and reprints from other humorous papers
constitute the body type. The editors
apologize for the delay and any defects
in the paper, saying that the establish
ment has been upset, 1.-The office having
to move to make room for hospital.
The editors apologize also for the absence
of the chief feature, letter by Bill Arp.
1t seems that after promising to write
for 1.-THE BugIe Horn Mr.. Smith velun-
teered, shouldered a gun and went to
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15
"Wooltex" and Others

onal pin stripe effect; a long
coat with mannish collar
and turn-back cuffs; satin
lined to waist; plain skirt
with a cluster of o. 00
tucks over the hips cc.OO
Suits in an invisible check,
fancy worsted; made with
52-inch fitted back coat; a
plain tailored affair, trimmed
only by single strap of the
material over the shoulder
and down the front and back.
Velvet collar and cuffs; silk
lined; skirt Is circular, plain
with the exception of stitched
straps near the o. M
bottom. -. 80. ..oo'OO
"Wooltex" Suits of an ex-
cellent quality of soft
finished, soft twilled cheviot;
a tailored full-length coat
with velvet collar and turn
back cuffs; coat has double
plaits over the shoulders, full
satin lined; the skirt plain
with plated flare; 1000
fkof 80. 49,. 49,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15

Suits in fancy woven
solid color cheviot, black and
blue, made with a loose coat,
semi-fitted back; coat satin
lined; skirt has inverted
plait each 80 IN
Sedln.
A nobby little inexpensive
suit in black Panama cloth,
made in Russian blouse style,
collarless, with closely
stitched taffeta stole. At
either side, front and back,
it has three broad plaits;
stitched girdle with ripple;
the skirt is plated at each
seam released to give a
full graceful 1SO0
hare. -.
Suits in light or dark grey
cheviot. made with long
fitted 52-inch plain tailored
coat with velvet collar and
turn-back cuffs; the coat is
satin-lined, full 90 M
plated skirt. ..SO'OV
"Wooltex" Suits in a
twilled worsted, in a dag
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15
DressmakinS.

These are busy days in the dress
making department. They bring
the dress goods and silks in close
touch. Perhaps you are in guam
Diary about what the new street suit
or the reception gown shall be.
Mrs. Ginzler will be very glad to
assist in the selecting.
High time to be booking your
dreSSmaking engagement.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15

A new lingerie waist Is In
a very sheer quality of mer-
cerized Datiste; the yoke Is
a new design of tiny vertical
tucks with bands of Val. lace
inserted diagonally, the cen
ter ones forming a V. Be-
low the front is hand-em-
broidered; collar and French
cuffs tucked and inserted
with the lace q M
DdnuS. -. 80. -.
Another yoke is made of
many bands set together in
a circle, front, back and over
the shoulders. Below the
front is hand-embroidered.
The deep French cuffs and
collars are entirely of bands
Of the embroid- a M
cry. -. -. -. Jaw
Imported handmade ling
erie waists with Point de
Paris lace medallions, yoke
and front with the new lace
Pacquin sleeve. Below the
yoke is a hand 10 kO
embroidered design I~.OO
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15

From the Chicago News
Pete Green-Look here, Sam, when yo'
comes home late en- yo' wife books out
OBJ de window. do she drop eny insinua-
lions?
Sam Sparks--Well, yo might call dem
situations, but I call dem fatirons en-
bootjacks.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15
Knit Underwear

Ladies' Knit Vests, in good
quality of cotton, heavily
fleeced and a generous full
cut. Drawers to Ok
Ladies Knit Vests in best
grade of cotton, fieece-lined,
heavy or medium weight.
Drawers to match. E0o
Garment. -. -. ....OoO
Ladies Vests in light
weight, soft warm, all wool,
finished with silk crocheted
edge silk tape. I M
Garment. -. 49,. :. A'OO
Ladies' Silk and Wool
Mixed Vests, silk crocheted
trimmings and silk tape;
beautifully finished tights to
m match Gar .l.25
Ladies Union Suits in
heavy weight WOOL open
down front; GRO I IN
cheted trimmed. -. .I'OO
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15
Lock Monday at These in Silk

Elegant plaid Wasting
Silks, in new color I M
combinations. =. -. Law
All silk Taffetas in a line
of solid and changea- SQo
BILE colors. -. -. :. wv
36-inch black Peau de Sole
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15
Dust.

From the Chicago News.
Hello Halton! ! see you have on au-
tomobile goggles"
mo. indeed My wife is doing her fall
= Cleaning. and / wear these to keep from
being blinded by the dust"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15
NOTICE!

Special cars will be run to
the Fair Grounds every
afternoon, beginning at A
O'Clock. They will be mark
ed: Fair Grounds" Birm-
ingham Railway, Light &
Power Co.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15

Another waist In mercer
lied Batiste has an elaborate
yoke of crossed bands of
Val. insertion with embroid-
cry and tucked medallions
between. Deep cuffs of
bands of insertion and tiny
tucks; collar en- 1000
tirely of lace. -. :. LO'OO
Cream Batiste Lingerie
Waists, with fancy tucked
yoke with two rows of Val.
lace insertion and Venice
lace medallion center; cuff
with three clusters q M
of tucks tucked back. OsOO
Another lingerie in cream
Batiste with four rows of
lace insertion, yoke front
and back; embroidered front
and tucking; full sleeves
with tucked and two rows of
lace; tucked back, made in
the new French style to be
adjusted to ones x M
liking. =. -. -. OsOO
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15
GENUINE GAS HOUSE
COAX

Is the BEST FUEL fer Base
burners, Stoves or Furnaces.
Delivered in sacks, lump or
crushed. Phone 5, Exchange
l8. Birmingham Ry., 1t. &
Power. Ce.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15
Dents Gloves

And every woman knows
Dents gloves.
Ladies .hand-sewed. :. cape.
English made walking glove,
in tan; one IN
clasp. =. ....s -. AOO
Dents walking gloves in
tans, two-button, , Ok
hand-sewed seams. -s~O
Dents black undressed
kid, three-clasp IN
! gloves. -. -. -. sOO
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15
A Special ST Glove

English Walking Gloves,
pique stitched, in black and
tan; a one-clasp glove and a
most excellent M
value. -. -. 49,.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15
Outings, Etc.

Teasel Down Outings,
12Hc quality, loo
at. ...s'.,-
Extra heavy Flannelettes,
m : 15S quality, l21c
Kimona Outings-a new
list of patterns. 1Olc
Monday. -. -. =. A~2O
Mercerized Sateen, tall
ored patterns. 25c O0c
quality. Special. -. wv
White Madras, for OSo
Ladies waists. Special. NV
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15
Linen Specials

72-nch Silver Beached German Table Linen S0o
Special Monday -. wv
.72-nch Bleached Irish Table Linen HEo
Special. ~. "
72-nch Bleached Irish Table Linen. M
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15
Tweed Short Coats

English Tweed-how well
1t lends itself to these little
27-inch box-back coats; an
IDEAL material for the style.
Coarse, loosely woven in an
invisible stripe with tiny
fiecks of white; made with
a mans sack coat collar and
pockets; the back is slit at
either side, buttoned with
four cloth-covered 1000
buttons to match. IO.OO
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15
New Reads

Beads are more popular
than ever; the notified agate
in pink and blue strung on
solid silver chains . E0
are in high favor. -. ~.OO
Graduated gold beads in
Roman finish on sill . kA
yer chains, at 75c to. c.OO
Cut crystal beads in laven-
dar, green, Alice blue, pea
cock blue and topaz, on
at. -. -. -.
Opal glass strung M
on solid chains, at. I'OO
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15

in a pretty lustrous I M
finish. -. -. l.OO
Very handsome quality Of
T Flax Chiffon l.5O
Silk Crepe de Chimes,
with neat dots of self ROo
color, "a inches wide. OOO
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15
Woolens

1g in printers ink o
few of the new
hings is as unsatisfac
Dry, as incomplete, a:
would be for you II
how a friend a few
amples clipped from
his and that piece.
Herring Bone Serge, so
inches wide; an elegant suit
ing novelty for coat or eton
suit; moss green, navy
s blue and black l.5O
42-inch pure silk warp Eo-
lienne, in grey, light blue,
reseda, brown, cream royal,
and champagne, I M
at. -. -. -. -. wv
Silk Down. new silk
and wool fabric that is wear
guaranteed; ideal for I Ok
dressy costumes. -. I.~O
Mobile Cloth-Dressmal1-
ers far and wide praise it as
quite the proper thing. It's
wide range of colors from
street shades to the lights
for opera coats or wraps,
give it great possibilities;
30 inches wide, . M
at. $50. $500. -.
Mothers who have chill
dren's dresses to worry over
and plan will find many
novel and appropriate things
among these pretty mixtures,
stripes and plaid .suitings.
Some very desirable things
for odd skirts IQo
dlSO....
Neat pin check suitings.
blue and green, red and
black, brown and kEo
black, suits and skirts. cCC
A very handsome quality
of all wool silk finished Hen
rietta, A inches I OO
Wlue.
50-inch all wool Cheviots,
In ideal suitings; green.
ma navy and black LOO
All wool Broadcloth, in
wonderfully good ar I on
ray of street shades. I.OV
Shadow stripe Batiste, 4S
inches wide, very desirable
fabric for dressy street cos
tunes; navy blue, brown,
green and M
black. -. -. -. I'OO
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15

Ready-to-Wear

Mid ctober-and genuine October weather
Bright sunshine and warm at midday, but chilly
at nght-weather with warning that Womer
are needing. There are new things to interes
you Monday in the Ready-to-Wear.
New, late arrivals in Coat Suits, long and
short. New things in coats. New things thai
will perhaps exactly fit your needs.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1905-10-15
A Swell Number in a Long Csat Suit.

There's new long seven-eighths suit in fancy or
clay worsted Tight fitting with fly back fastening w
buttons and loops. Plain tailored leg O. mutton Slew
Double breasted with four large buttons at either 81
and pockets with large circular flaps Chiffon tafft
lined to waist The skirt is double plated at each SCI
stitched down only to form yoke and CHk 4
released to give an extra full flare .....WTV.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-06-15
A Lovely Errand.

He was cherubic youth of four
with beautiful. blue-eyed counte
nance and an angelic smile-the kind
of boy that honest persons long in.
stinctively to kidnap. He sat on the
fence, swinging his heels and hum
ming kindergarten song
& "Oh, you darling!" cried an impul
awe young woman, pouncing on him
and giving him hug. HAS your
mother any more like you? Have you
any little brothers?"
"Yop," replied the angelic boy, "got
three. Me and Jack and Billy and
Frank"
(which one do you like best?'
< Jack, guess" replied the young.
ster, after moment Of deep thought
"Yop, / like Jack best
And why" asked the young woman,
"do you like Jack best?"
"'Cause he did such a lovely errand
for me once"
what was that lovely errand?"
He bit Billy on the leg" replied the
sweetly serious cherub.
why, pursued the young woman
Z didn't you do your own biting?"
Cause I hate the taste Of Billy'a
legs" was the calm reply Carol
Watson Rankin. in Ltppincott's.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-06-15
A Concrete Chimney.

the stand under the core; now put in
a thimble nine inches below the cell
ing and fill in concrete to the top Of
mold. Make another mold four inches
smaller than the first one TO form the
shaft of the chimney. This reduc-
ton of two inches on each side forms
the top of the base
The shaft mold should be about
three feet high. When this is filled
build the top mold, allowing it to pro-
ject one inch on each side, raise two
and one-half inches, project one inch,
raise five inches and jug in twice
more when the top will be the same
size as the shaft. See the plan for a
clear understanding. 1t is well to
bed iron bands in the shaft, also in
the top, as the building is in progress
Mix the concrete five parts of gravel
TO one of Portland cement, and ram
thoroughly. Finish the outside of the
chimney with cement wash applied
with brush. The size of the chimney
should be built in proportion to the
size of the house. In some cases ce-
ment chimneys are nodded in sections
and then built, but the sections are
very heavy to handle on the roof
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-06-15
|M,u Mary Nmmick

Pinkham, of Lynn, Mass, is fully quail.
fiedto give helpful advice to sick women:
Read Mrs. Dimmick's letters.
Her first letter:
Dear Mrs. Pinkham =
81 have been sufferer for the past eight
years with trouble which first originated
from painful menstruation-the pains were
e1cruciating, with Inflammation and ulcera.
ton of the womb The doctor says l must
have an operation or cannot live. l do not
want to submit to an operation if | can posi-
bly, avoid it. Please help me."-Mrs Mary
Dimmick, Washington, d. G.
Her second letter;
Dear Mrs Pinkham =
"You will remember my condition when I
last wrote you, and that the doctor said T
must have All operation or | could not live
I received your kind letter and followed your
advice very carefully and am now entirely
we'll As my case was SO serious it seems a
miracle that am cured. know that owe
not only my health but my life to Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound and to your
advice l can walk miles without an ache or
pain, and I wish every suffering woman
would read this letter and realize what you
can do for them. Mrs. Mary Dimmick Seth
and East Capitol Streets, Washington, D. c.
How easy it was for Mrs. Dimmick to
write to Mrs Pirkham at Lynn, Mass,
and how little it cost her-a two-cent
stamp. Yet how valuable was the replyI
AS Mrs. Dimmick says-it saved her life.
Mrs. Pinkham has on file thousands
of just such letters as the above, and
offers ailing women helpful advice.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1905-06-15
As to Farmers.

The late Senator Quay, among his
other varied pursuits, was somewhat
of an agriculturist. One day there was
a discussion among several of his col
leagues regarding the definition of a
gentleman farmer. Some commended
that farmer was farmer, and the
matter Of his wealth could make no
difference in the name. Presently one
of the speakers appealed to Quay, and
asked him if he would define the diff
ference between an ordinary farmer
and gentleman farmer. The sena-
tor thought for a minute, and then
said: There's this difference be-
tween the two: One eats what he can
not sell, and the other sells what he
cannot eat. "-Harper's Weekly.