davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1905-11-07
humorous department.

THE WRONG MANOR a train going
from Chicago to Dubuque, Iowa, was
a passenger in one of the sleeping
cars who had been drinking heavily,
but realized the fact that he was in
toxicated.' AS he was about to retire
he called a porter to him and hand
ing him a dollar, requested to be
walked at Rockford, ILL.,, and said he:
BE sure and put me off, whether
I want to go or not. know 1 am
pretty full, and when am, I'm liable
to fight; but don't mind that, just
you put me off-do you understand
just put me or"
! Early next morning as the train
was nearing Dubuque and the pas
sengers were hurriedly dressing, the
colored porter with his head band
aged, one eye closed and his face
showing hard usage, was attending to
his duties. Just then the Rockford
passenger crawled out of his berth,
looked out to get his bearings, and
then went for that porter. Look
here, you scoundrel!" he cried.
What does this mean? Didn't tell
you to put me off at Rockford?"
The darkey looked at him a mo-
ment and said: "Is you de gemman
what wanted to be put off?"
Certainly, and I gave you a dol
lar, you scoundrel, to see to it,"
WELL" said the porter, tenderly
adjusting the bandage round his jaws,
IF you's de gemman what Civ me
dat dollar, what I want to know is
JUS dis yeh. who was de gemman dat
I put off at Rockford"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1905-11-07

A MINISTERIAL DoUBT.-The new
pastor Of the country church was an
eminently practical man as we'll as
a good Christian, and on the occasion
of his first sermon he proceeded al
its close to test the practical Christi
anity Of his hearers.
81 should like to know" he said
glancing over the congregation, "how
many women in this assembly have
not spoken a harsh word to their
husbands during the past four
weeks"
There was a stir among the audi
tors, but no other indication that the
shot had told.
Indeed" he went on, II am SO
anxious to know that I shall ask all
the women who nave not done so to
rise to their feet and be counted"
He paused a moment and waited
One rose far over in the corner, then
another near her, and soon they had
come up all over the house until
there were at least fifty on the floor,
The preacher counted them carefully.
Then he added:
"Fifty-two," he said. well, really
dear friends, had no idea there were
so many widows in this community"
London Tit-Bits.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1905-11-07

ONE Of THE GREAT TRIBE.-Two men
approached the desk at the Savoy
hotel yesterday and asked for rooms.
Sam Campbell, the clerk. turned the
register around and handed the one
nearest him a pen. The man regis
tered: Smith Brothers"
Campbell looked at the name mo-
ment and then said: Hadn't you
better register the two full names in
stead Of this?"
The man who had done the writing
looked puzzled. "How's that?" he
asked.
II just suggested" said Campbell
that you register your full name and
that of your brother. 1t isn't Gus
tomary to register firm names on no.
tel books"
There was another short pause, and
then the man with the pen said:
"I don't exactly understand. Ny
name is Smith Brothers. I dom
know this other gentleman" kansas
City Times.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1905-11-07
RoMANcES IN NATURE.
What the Trees of America Tell Us of
Human Endeavors.

Human Endeavors.
1t Is true that in all the range Of
nature there is nothing so interesting,
beautiful, and distinctive as the Amer
lean hardwood trees during the autumn
season; whether they stand singly, In
groups, or in wide stretches Of forest
intermingled here and there with the
deep tints Of the evergreen. But
many subtle emotions enter into ad-
miration of them at this period. Per-
tance from tree -worshiping ancestry;
or 1t may be that an equally intangi-
BILE memory Of an arboreal home in a
prehistoric past has left it's impress
upon human consciousness, and au-
tumn with it's glow, its color and
warmth of tint upon the landscape, its
suggestion of the passive drifting Of
the fruition of the year, hints ever of
the sadness Of regret, nameless long
ing, a vague plea for remembrance of
a previous association with the phe-
nomena of nature, the earth, the air,
the trees; some closer contact with i'm
mediate surroundings. some lost men,
ory of a former existence.
There are romances written upon the
trees of America, stories Of adventure
and heroic quest as fascinating as
any in the history Of mankind; men,
ories of pioneers who went forth to
break the primeval silence, to read the
secrets of the forests, to listen to the
songs that the rivers sing, and to hear
that call of the wind: westward! To
the wide plains, the towering noun
tains, the farther ocean!"
To us. today, the giant wind-swept
pines of the northern forests, lifting
themselves sombrely above the white
birches in their midst, seem ever to
hint Of the tragedies that they have
witnessed in the conquering Of the con-
tinent; the human sacrifices Of which
they have been mute observers.
In the dim aisles of these forests, the
dreamer may picture heroic Jesuit
missionaries, carrying their God-given
message to the savages; or see Wis
ion Of Father Jogues carving the name
Of Jesus" upon the trees as he passed,
hungry cold, and weary upon his way;
the pure light of self-abnegation upon
his face; his tortured hands mute wit
nesses Of the sufferings he endured.
OF any white man his eyes were the
first to look upon Lake George, set
like an emerald amid the tree crown
ed hills; he was among the first to see
the splendid sweep of Lake Huron,
as he made his way through the
trees and across the waters to the out
let Of Lake Superior. At once the
most picturesque and lovable Of the
early French explorers of North Amer
lea. we have given him neither name
nor place. excepting as he wrote 1t
himself upon the northern forests
Metropolitan Magazine.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1905-11-07

D. S. L. Johnson, with a true artists
skill, presided at the organ. The
following announcement will be of
much interest to Gastonia peoples:
Mr.. and Mrs. r. S. Galloway, Due
West, s. c., announce the engage
ment of their daughter, Miss Jennie
M Galloway, to Mr.. Hugh De Ar
mond Kirkpatrick, of Charlotte, n.
c., the marriage to take place on the
evening of November 29th. Miss
Galloway is we'll known In Gastonia,
having visited the family Of her un-
Gle, DR.. ]. C. Galloway, and remem-
bered especially for her delightful
singing and charming personality.
She was q teacher of music in Lin
wood college last year. The holo-
graph will Of the late DR.. Giles Nc
Alden. with codicil added during his
last illness in New York City, was
probated in the office of clerk Of the
court in Dallas Tuesday. His brother,
Mr.. Henry M. McAden, and Mr.. Rob
ert R. Ray were made executors. The
estimated value of the estate is $780,
600. Two munificent bequests Of a
public nature cause an unusual de-
gree of interest to attach to DR.. Nc
Aden's will. One Of these bequests
is made to ST. Peters hospital, in
Charlotte, consisting of 10 shares Of
stock in the Hoskins Manufacturing
company, of Charlotte, Of the par
value of $1,000 each. This is to be
known as the MARY Terry McAden
Fund" so called in the memory of
the mother of the deceased, and the
income from 1t is to be used by the
hospital authorities as they see fit.
The other bequest Is made to the
town Of McAdenville, n. c., and Is
valued at $4,000. This legacy is for
the endowment and maintenance of
a public library and hall Of recre-
alton for the town to be known as
"The R. Y McAden Memorial Build
ing" named for the father Of the
deceased. 1t consists Of Al shares OF
stock in the First National Bank Of
Charlotte, 20 shares in the Charlotte
Clothing company, % shares in the
Lowell cotton mills, and 10 shares
Of preferred stock in the Chadwick
mills, Of Charlotte. There is one con-
dition attached to this bequest, and
that is that the McAden mills shall
have erected within two years a
building for the library, at cost Of
not less than $4,000. In the event
that this condition is not complied
with the legacy will go to st. Peters
hospital.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1905-11-07
FOR THE LARGEST CLUBS.

offers is RIGHT NOW. Let all
names, whether old or new, be re-
turned as rapidly as secured, so they
may. be properly entered upon our
books.
TERMS AND CONDITIONS.
Two Six Months Subscribers at S1
each will be considered the eQuiva-
lent Of one yearly subscriber at $1.76,
and so counted. A subscription paid
for two or more years In advance at
$1.75, will be counted as one name
for each year so paid.
Clubmakers will be held personally
responsible for the payment Of all
names returned by them. After a
clubmaker has returned and paid for
any name, he can, at any time there
after, discontinue the sending Of the
paper to the person for whom he
has paid and transfer the unexpired
term to any other person, provided
the person to whom the transfer Is
desired was not subscriber at the
time the original name was entered
on our books.
No name will be counted In compe-
tition for a premium until the sub
scription price has been paid; nor
will any premium be delivered until
a satisfactory settlement has been
made for all names returned by the
clubmaker.
Persons who commence making
clubs will not be permitted to trans
fer their club to another clubmaker's
list after the names have been en-
tered on our books.
It Is not necessary that the names
on a club should all be at the same
postoffice. Names may be taken at
anv number of DlaceS
All subscriptions must be forward
ed to US at the expense Of those send
ing them.
We will be responsible for the safe
transmission Of money only when
sent by draft, registered letter or
money order drawn on the Yorkville
postoffice.
In sending names write plainly, and
give postoffice, county and state.
All subscriptions will be discon-
tinued at the expiration Of the time
paid for.
A separate list will be kept for
each clubmaker, who will be credited
with each name sent, so that the
number sent by any clubmaker may
be ascertained at a moments notice.
In case of tie for either premium,
two weeks will be allowed in which
to work off the tie.
The time In which names may be
returned, under our propositions will
commence NOW, and expire at
o'clock p. NJ, on the 18th day OF
March, 1905.
After the closing of this contest
subscription will be received for less
than the yearly subscription price,
$2.00, except new clubs are formed.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1905-11-07

WILLIAM WOULD SETTLE IT.-The
relationship between Mr.. Gladstone
and his wife was one Of the most
beautiful the world has known, and
of all the millions who looked up to
him, she was his greatest admirer.
On one occasion when Mrs. Glad
stone was entertaining visitors, con-
versation turned on the Bible, and
there was lively argument on the
meaning Of a certain passage. Pres
emily one of the callers, hoping to end
the discussion, remarked devoutly:
There is One alone who knows
ALL"
The cloud vanished from Mrs.
Gladstone's face and she smiled sun
nily as she said:
"Yes, and William will be down in
a few moments" s."-Everybody's Mag
azine for October
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1905-11-07

THE TWICE TOLD TALE-A Massa-
chusetts lawyer. according to Lippin-
colts Magazine, has a notoriously
treacherous memory for details. This
falling occasionally leads him to gar
BILE a joke in repeating it. Recently
he met a friend who, clapping him on
the shoulder, said enthusiastically:
We'll. old man, this is a fine day
for the race, isn't it?"
why, what race?"
"The human race" said the friend
and fed.
This was the first time the lawyer
had ever heard this very ancient joke,
so he determined to get it off on the
nxet man he met-and he did, in
this manner:
Hello. Godfrey, isn't this a fine
day for the trot?"
"Trot-what trot?"
by gad." stammered the lawyer
II swear there was a joke there, but
1 can't find it now"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1905-11-07

TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION,
ADVERTISEMENT

Inserted at One Dollar per square for
the first insertion, and Fifty Cents per
square for each subsequent Insertion.
A square consists Of the space occupied
by ten lines Of this size type.
fT Contracts for advertising space
for three, six and twelve months will
he made on reasonable terms. The
contracts must in all cases be confined
to the regular business Of the firm or
Individual contracting, and the manu-
script must be in the office by Monday
at noon when intended for Tuesdays
issue, and on Thursday at noon, when
intended for Fridays issue.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1905-11-07
GOOD PAY FOR EASY WORK.
Make a Club for the Yorkville
Enquirer.
BEST SEMI-WEEKLY in THE SOUTH.
Interesting Premium Contest Now Open to
Everybody.
BEST SEMI-WEEKLY IN THE SOUTH.
A Columbus Top Buggy Worth $50 For the Largest
Club of Paid Names and Rock Hill Top Buggy
for the Second Largest Club of Paid Names
CONTEST NOW OPEN; CLOSES MARCH Is, 1906.

ENQUIRER the largest all home print semi
published the United States 1t edited and pub
educational religious
adjoining counties
lines Of endeayor
SUBSCRIPTION PRICE
his office is q
will received cubmkers at that price
until March 15, 1905
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
This provided
the OF the
of
poportoned
whether include ve
each class
buggies onewo other worth $65
FOR
To
will Columbus
sS5 To the cubmak returning the second largest club we
buggies the depository Of
who WILL
of the regular retail price
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1905-11-07

For Four Names.
A Stylographic Fountain Pen; a
Three -Bladed Pocket Knife or one
copy Of any of the following books:
Gordon Keith" by T. Nelson Page;
David Harum," 1.-The One Woman" I"
by Thomas Dixon.
For Five Names.
A years subscription to either one
of the following Magazines: Nc
Clures, Ladies' Home Journal, Mum
sey, Argosy, Cosmopolitan, Saturday
Evening Post, or either Of the fol-
lowing: A Champion" Stem Wind
ing Watch, A gold pointed Fountain
Pen, or a four-bladed Pocket Knife.
For Six Names.
An Eclipse" Stem Winding Watch,
Hamilton Model Is, 22-calibre Rifle,
a years subscription to the Christian
Herald, a 22-String Zithern or any
one Of the following popular cloth
bound novels: "Leopard's Spots"
Beverly Of Graustark," "The Two
Captains" by Cyrus Townsend Brady.
For Eight Names.
An Ingersoll Triumph" Watch. a
Daisy Repeating Air Rifle-works
like a Winchester-a fine Razor or
a Pocket Knife, a Rapid Writer
Fountain Pen-plain case; or a Hopf
Model Violin or an S-inch banjo.
For Ten Names.
One years subscription to THE
ENQUIRER, a No. 2 Hamilton 22-
calibre Rifie-model II, the Youths
Companion one year, or gold
mounted Fountain Pen; good Ban
10. Violin or Guitar.
For Twenty Names.
Crack-Shot Stevens Rifle, a 10
ounce Canvas Hunting Coat, a No. l
Ejector Single Barrel Breech-Load-
ing Shot Gun, the Century or Har-
per's Magazine.
For Thirty Names.
Either Of the following: A Single
Barrel Hammerless Shot Gun, a fine
Toilet or Washstand Set, a Hopkins
& Allen Jr., 22-calibre Rife, or
No. 13 oliver Turn Plow.
For Forty Names.
A fine Mandolin, Guitar or Banjo,
a New York Standard Open Face
Watch, a w. Richards Double-Barrel
Shot Gun.
For Fifty Names.
A Winchester or Colts Repeating
Rifle, 22-calibre; or Baker Double
Barrel Breech-Loading Gun.
SPECIAL CLUBS.
We will arrange to furnish any
special article desired by a club
maker for a given number of names
on application to this office.
TIME TO BEGIN.
The time for clubmakers to begin
work in competition for the foregoing
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1905-11-07

A DECIDED OPINIoN.-"I was in
railroad accident once" said a bishop.
"and l was helping an elderly lady
from our wrecked car. Behind US
came a noble looking English lady
with her husband by her side.
''She was scolding him well for
starting on their journey on Friday.
81 told you. James, she said. some
thing would happen if we should
start on Friday.
Madam said l. do you know
that Columbus set sail to discover
America on Friday?'
"She looked at me with Indignation
and said: Sir, in my opinion it is
a great pity that America was ever
discovered at all
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1905-11-07

19 Wanted-Your orders for the best
grade Of Commercial Stationery, Law
Briefs, Arguments, or anything else If
you want the Best work.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1905-11-07

SLIGHTLY SUPERFLUoUs-The man
Of this story is a very light sleeper
one who is easily wakened and who
Is a long time getting to sleep. In
a Vermont hotel he had at last got
sound asleep when a loud rap, re-
peated, awoke him.
Whats wanted?"
Package downstairs for you"
well, it can wait till morning, /
suppose?"
The boy departed, and after a long
time the man was sound asleep again,
when there came another resOunding
knock at the door.
We'll. what is 1t now," he inquired.
"Tain't for you. that package!'-
Boston Herald.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1905-11-07

III In the case of wise men and pins
1t may be said that their heads keep
them from going too far.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1905-11-07
Misesllane Rsaduasias,
IN COUNTIES ADJOINING.
News and Comment Clipped From
Neighborins Exchanges.
CHEROKEE.

Gaffney Ledger, Nov. 4: Last even
ing, at the Baptist parsonage. in the
presence of a few loved ones. Mr..
Douglas A. Young and Miss Daisy
Beatrice Stacy were married. DR..
Simms, in his usual graceful man.
ner, performed the ceremony, making
it very impressive. The bride wore
beautiful blue silk, adorned with
pearls and laces. At o'clock the
bridal party retired to the home Of
Mr.. ]. F. Fincken, where a bounti-
full supper of three courses was
spread Another feature was the
music Of Master Albert Fincken.
which was much enjoyed by all. For
a while Mr.. and Mrs. Young will be
at home with Mr.. and Mrs. Fincken.
..... .Junius Phillips. the only son
of Mr.. and Mrs. Fielder Phillips of
the Corinth section, died Wednesday
morning and was buried yesterday at
Corinth church. The boy was about
ten years old.
LANCASTER.
News, November 4: Mr.. Thomas D.
Carnes Of the eastern portion Of the
county, was married in Rock Hill
Wednesday to Miss Mamie Bailey,
daughter of Mr.. James Bailey, Of that
city. The ceremony was performed at
Mr. Bailey's home, by the Rev. Mr..
Duncan, pastor Of the Methodist
church. Among those present was Mr..
G. A. ]. Usher Of this county, who
accompanied Mr.. Carnes to Rock Hill.
The bridal party arrived here Wednes-
day on the Southerns southbound pas
senger train, driving out in the after
noon to Mr.. Carnes's home. Mr.. w.
NJ. Truesdel Of the Flat Rock neighbor-
hood, died Saturday evening at
o'clock, and was buried at Hickory
Head Baptist church near Westville, on
Sunday afternoon. He was 73 years
old last May. The funeral services
were conducted by Rev. o. A. Jeffcoat
of Kershaw. q. "A quiet marriage, un-
known to but few in advance, took
place at the residence Of Mr.. c.
L. Helms at Carmel last Wednesday
afternoon. The contracting parties
were Mr. Helms daughter, Miss Fan
ME Helms and Mr.. P. B. Blakeney.
Rev. w. r. Ware performed the GER
emony. Mr.. Blakeney is in every way
one of the county's best citizens, and
his bride is a young woman possess
ing all the qualifications to make a
happy home.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1905-11-07

l.. M. GRIST'S SONS, YOrkville, s. c.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1905-11-07

TO BE CONTINUED.
Budget Of Up-to- Date Ideas
Cleaned From Approved Authentic
Sources For the Information and In
struction of Readers of The Enquirer.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-06-12
MONEY TO LOAN.

~~~~>~~~->-~~--~~~~~~-.~-~D-
W + loan money To home Cetters. 10
those who wish TO improve vacant prop
eFt} and to lots of other people We have
q large surplus on hand TO loan the day
You want 1T.
Salt Lake Security & Trust Co.
+. r. MGURRTN- Pres-t
security Trust Bldg, 3 and 81 ; Main st.
EASY money. easy terms. easy rates:
very private chdttels and other SpCuri-
ties. see US Room 309 Atlas Block
MORTGAGE loans. 6 aud 2 per cent
Bulldlng loans: can be repaid in monthly
lnstallmsnts. j. L. Perkes 339 Atlas Blk
100000 TO loan. ; to per cent. Meelzs
* Lynch. 3l5 and $40 Atlas Blk
OUR rates are low. our notes are made
payable here at home. payments can be
made at any time without notice The
Home Trust x Savings Co., $40 W. First
South Street
LOWEST rates Of interest in city on an
hlhus q losns, furniture. pianos, etc.
long time u2 d Keith Bldg
I LOAN only my own money; no com
mission. NJ eastern company; no third
party; no delay: low rates. MANY ontions-
3 years business in Utah with only one
patrons literally
Russell L Tracy. No. Il Z Ist South.
PRIVATE loans on furniture. etc. easy
payments; low rates; no removal 30 At
QUICK money. fair treatment A w
Smith & Co. % Main St
II YOU NEED money we ain fifscC,,nf
your salary. Star Loan Co. 5O7 Atlas Blk,
CTcp floor.
ON UTAH AND IDAHO FARMS. spe-
cal option Miller & Viele, 800 Mccormick
building.
AT LOWEST living rates, IN pianos.
furniture, horses. vehicles easv Ferns -
Q. Wood li9 Main St. room 30.
DON'T borrow trouble. borrow money.
Salarled men OF women accommodated
on their note without rnortsage or en-
d0rser Easy payments ,SnDffdantial
Cherry, 90 d p. Walker building
WHEN in need Of ready cash see Ms
Crescent Loan Co. So Hooper Block.
ON ANY PROPERTY. YoutIetsin nos
session The Stringer Co. 20 ". % south.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1905-06-12
SALT LAKE CHARITY ASSOCIA-
TON FREE EMPLOYMENT
BUREAU.

WATCH this space Through it we hope
to secure employment TOR many unem-
Moved fathers and mothers with depend
ent children. and whom We can best help
in this way
If you apply at once we can furnish a
girl for second place at general house
work. but makes no claim TO being a
cook
With ample notice up to a certain limit
we can supply women to go out washing
or house cleaning by the day
We always have a number of fathers
who are only common labOrers who need
work and who are glad to have it. even
if X is only a few days at d time
Apply at our headquarters. 30 South
Third West or telephone, In. pa OF Bell
sock between u and y a. m
Salt Lake Charity Association