The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1905-02-18

bh@-My, nut Mr.. Blaxyman liz
stingy, Hell should say so. why,
he wouldn't laugh at a joke unless 1t
was at somebody else's expense.-Ex.
Clara-Did you lose your presence
Of mind when he attempted to kiss
you? Maud-Yes, for moment. Why,
l nearly told him to stop.-New-Y York
er.
Chauneur--Is there an ordinance
limiting the speed of antos in this
town. EatiVe-No, they can't get
through too quickly to suit .us.--Brook-
lyn Life. ..>.~..z~
Foreigner-What Is the significance
Of the eagle that liz stamped on Ameri-
can money? United States CitiZen-It
Is the emblem Of It's swift hght-De-
troit Free Press.
"My sakesI How we'll your hus-
band Is trained. How did you ever do
1t" II didn't. He was a widower
when I got him. 1t saves lot Of
trouble. Chicago Record Herald.
Margie-If you don't quit teasing
me I'll tell mamma and she'll tell papa,
thea papa will whip you. Harry
Then I'll cry and grandma will give
me some candy, and won't give you
any.-Ex.
did you notice how I moved the
audience last night" asked the anna
teur elocutonist. Moved isn't the
proper name for it." rejoined his criti-
| Oh 81
stampede"
Little Willie-Say, pa, is the pen
might1er than the sword? Pa--So
some people claim, my son. Little
WiIlie-Then why don't the Russians
arm themselves with fountain pens?-
Minneapolis Times.
I'm sure saw q cat over in that
corner" said Tommy, sitting up in
bed. "No, dear; go to Sleep" said his
mother; at was just Imagination"
HAS Imagination got shiny eyes?"-
Philadelphia Ledger.
Mr.. skinfint-The paper says skirts
are to be worn longer than ever. Mrs
Skinfiint-Well, you needn't be figger-
in on me wearin' mine any longer
I've worn 1t FIVE years this comm
fall!"-Harper's Bazaar.
Passenger-This train is nearly one
hour behind time, Is it not2 Guard
Yes; but that's all right. Well get in
the usual time. Passenger-What time
is that? Guard-Two hours Late
Glasgow Evening Times.
II thought Smeargie was a friend
of yours?" HE was until lately.
had to drop him. He was always
wanting to borrow money. Refused
him sharply, did you" mo, lent
him some."-Chicago Tribune.
shes lovely girl, and so simple
in her tastes. I told her that hadn't
much of an income yet, but that I
hoped could provide for her every
want" "And what did she say?"
''She said that would be all she could
ask. London Tit-Bits.
Caller-K1tty, Is that your parrot
Little Girl-No indeed, ma'am. The
folks next door left him with us when
they went away on their vacation.
|
you that he doesn't belong to our
church.-Chicago Tribune.
Wife-John, don't you think that
our house LIS altogether too small for
our present needs? Husband-Yes;
I've been thinking seriously of putting
an addition to it. Wife-Something in
the shape Of a wingH Husband-No
something in the shape of a mortgage.
I shot a rabbit the other day, Some
kind Of warden came out of the
bushes and objected" THAT was q
game warden" mo, it wasn't" "Why
notT Because there was nothing
game about him. He ran when / point
ed my gun at m."-Baltimore Her
aid.
eyes," remarked the party who
sometimes let's an audible thought es-
cape, '1t'S a sure sign a man is get
ting old" whats a sure sign p
queried the youth with the rubber hab.
1t. when he goes around telling PEG.
pie that he feels just as young as he
ever did" explained the noisy thinker.
"You know how father insists upon
talking all the time whenever Skates
comes to call on me Eyes" Well
we fixed him up last night We got
him to read the Russian and Japa.
nese names in the war dispatches, and
his jaw was soon 30 sore that he could
not talk above a whisper" London
Tt-Blts
Jennie-That spiteful Mrs. Chatter.
: ton said your husband was old and
ugly and that you only married him
for his money. Nettie-And what did
you say. dear2 Jennie-I said l was
sure you didn't do anything of the
sort Nettie-Did you ever meet my
husband? Jennie-No; I never had
that pleasure. Nettie-I thought so.
Some Very Long Names
A directory issued in Honolulu CON