davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-07-09

treat. He tried to fight, and then tried
to run, but he could do neither, and the
militant woman finally let him go after he
had been whipped to his knees and begged
for mercy The affair got into the papers
at the time, but the names are suppressed
now, as the lady in question is still living
here.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-07-09

was caused by the democratic mouse. which
mas been caught in trap of his own maxim.
and they are comm back into the fold as
last as their legs will carry EN- 1t is a
SIN ana shame the way this man Teddy
mas won 'em over by the latest peacemak.
in stunt.
Why. when he butt in on this row betwee,
the russians and Japs, the other governs
mental croW-tops were sittin' around
shruggin' their shoulders, lost in the fumes
OF their absinthe, their cigarettes or their
peer, deciarln as the scrap wasn't no bust
ness or theirs. The kaiser would a-hocked
eVerythln he owned to a-been able to do
what Teddy did, but he was scared To a
lraZzie, and the author of The Strenuous
Life beat him to IT. Same way with King
Ed only he was watchin horse race the
same time as Teddy was fixin' the peace
deal with the Russian snubocracv TAXA
my word for II. this man Roosevelt has
turned trick that for nerve amt got a
equal in these here modern tines
Dat sho am de truth" agreed Sam. the
negro messenger who stands first on one
foot and then on another. listening to old
Bill Dinkle's warnings.
Remember that Perdicaris fuss when a
chesty bandit out in Morocco kldnaped the
wrong man? Well, when the President
sent that cable Perdcaris alive or Ras-
souli dead the democrats chartered their
teeth and swore that the country
would go to the dogs unless some con-
seiFauNe JeHersonian ward heller got a
grip on the government reins But Ras-
SCUM delivered the goods and Perdi old
chap, cantered back to his adopted Ameri-
can shores and made a fortune bv being
interviewed. And the President, he made
good with every rail splitter this side of the
River StyX. He has been Johnny on the
spot whenever the rest of the administra-
ton bunch was puzzled. Now he plants
MS brigands down between the car and
Mike, the Emperor of Japan, and he says
to them: Cut out this ere fighting and
come along with me to my front yard down
In Washington, where will talk the
matter over.
And they're comm. too. What have the
democrats got to say about that7 Where
is the big stick? Where is the man on
horseback? Where is Theodore, the Trucu-
lent? Where is the Terrible Teddy? Why,
consarn it. the more / think about 1t, the
more / see that Theodore Roosevelt is like
the late George Washington. First In war
first In peace and first in the hearts of
his countrymen.'
So saying. Bill Dinkle shifted his knees
and passed quietly away to the land of
nod. where he gets his cues for the fancifuI
tales he tells the poor black messenger
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-07-09

There is one class Of inventors whose de-
vices -Hever= see-sse hsstt-sOf day. These
are the men and women who firmly be-
ueve they have solved the problem OF per-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-07-09

Down south of the Isthmus of Panama
however. the brown-skinners thought the
democrats was a-tellin' the truth. That
was because they didn't know the demo-
Gratis, of course. Anyway, them fellers
of the Latin origin amt got five cents
worth of political humor. and they took
the dope seriously. They all thought they
were goin' TO be slaug entered just as soon
as Mr.. Roosevelt got through pumpin' lead
into the obstinate democrats. Every time
anybody mentioned Teddy, the Truculent,'
the goose pmples came out all over the
South American diplomatsts and soldiers.
THAT little rough house down at Pam
anna was magnified about 'steen times and
the President was put UP as the real thing
for rasin a rumpus. Democrats cried
unsafe unsafe, and those diminutive
South American republics scampered away
In fright. Now they see that the scare
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-07-09

The patent office officials have not yet
settled in their minds whether the devices
or the inventors are the greatest freaks.
The man with the idea, the perfectly alb
surd though patentable idea, sometimes
comes in person to press his claim. He can
usually be picked out in crowd and the
things he does and says are ridiculous
as his advice. The freak inventor is not a
product of the mechanical age. as the pres
ent generation might aptly be called. He
is an old friend, running mate with PRO
Bono Pubiico," "old Subscriber Constant
Reader" and ''Vox PopuIi. He has been
working out his ingenious schemes for
years.
The officials of the New York Central
and Lake Shore railroad companies imag-
lied they accomplished great things when
they placed in operation a train that COW
cred the distance between New York and
Chicago in eighteen hours, a week or so
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-07-09

d'armes; Mrs. George Becker, Mrs Susanna
Oldberg, Mrs. Clarence Moore, Mrs. George
Westinghouse, Mrs. Wright, Mrs. Ernest
Diekman, Miss Cornelia B. Clagett, Miss
Elizabeth Kean, Miss Catherine Letterunan,
Miss MacVeagh, Miss Grace NJ Peters,
Miss Esther B. Spier, Miss Louise johnson
Barney, Miss Nathalie Barney, Mr.. Alexis
v. Babine, Mr.. George Becker, Mr.. Alfred
II. Brooks, Conor w. B. Coppinger, Prof.
s. F. Emmons, DR.. Paul w. Evans, Baron
Karl Won Giskra, the counsellor of the
Austrian embassy; Stanisas Gutowski
the attache of the Russian embassy; Mr..
Raymond F. Kirkman. Mr.. Waldemar Lind
gren, Mr.. Ballard n. Morris, Mr.. John Par
rott, Mr.. Frederick H. Riley, Benno de Sic
bert, Mr.. c. Fftzhugh Talman, Senior Man
uel Torres, Mr.. Grattan COlley Dickman.
Mr.. Julius F. Funk, Mr.. Jefferson NJ. Levy,
the owner of Monticello: Senior Luis +.
Maragues. Herr Carl Won Mayhoff, Mr. n.
S. Simpkins, Mr.. H. Gordon Strong, Mr..
Edwin F. Tracy, Mr.. Julian May Wright.
Mr.. William May Wright and Gen. Leonard
Wood. L. S. A
Prof. Darieulat, who is one of the most
skillful fencers in this country, has lived in
Washington for several years. Many of the
most prominent people who are not mem
bers of the Washington Fencing Club are
studying under him and include President
Roosevelt, the Countess Marguerite Cassini
and Miss May.
Fencing has never quite reached the de-
gree of popularity in this country that 1t
has in Europe, for here, except in the
earliest colonial days, 1t has never been
anything but sport, while abroad it was
for centuries a much more important part
of a gentleman's education than a classi-
cal college course. 1t was experiences as
swordsmen that enabled many of the COM
panions of Columbus to rise to prominence
In their later independent expeditions and
It is said that Nunez de Balboa was one of
the most accomplished fencers who ever
came out CT Spain. Certainly he displayed
The Grit-advocate., 1905-09-29
Frozen Einuers in Summer.

Cle of the most peculiar cases that
has ever come under the observation
OF Denver physician came to The
office of DR.. II. H. Martin recently
Mrs. George RCld of Chicago was up
on Rollins pass and disnortcd i'll the
snow until the train went to Arrow
head and turned on the wye" and
started back to Denver. 1t leaves the
passenger two hours and forty min
utes on the bleak top of the pass and
all around is a wide expanse of snow.
The temptation to make balls of the
summer snow to pelt her companions
was too great to be resisted, and Mrs.
Rod enjoyed the novelty to the full.
When she boarded the train for home
she soon discovered her fingers were
slbitten. Arriving in Denver her
hands were badly swollen and she was
driven at once to the Office Of DR..
Martin.
The fingers of the hands were sWol-
len and the flesh had turned blue. The
pam was very severe. and it will be
week, the doctor says, before Mrs
RoId can use her hands.-Denvet
Post,
The Grit-advocate., 1905-09-29
Didn't Care to Advertise Wealth.

One Of the wealthy residents in the
Wicker park district is a manufactur
er who from street peddler worked
himself up into position and has ac-
cumulated money so that his neigh
bors estimate his wealth at about
$500 900. Throughout his career he has
never learned to write and his figur-
ing has been upon system peculiar
to himself. A few days ago some OF
his friends, in the presence Of re-
porter urged the manufacturer to tell
some Of his experiences SO that an
article might be published about him.
Pulling out some old tax receipts
he said: "It might be nice to get my
name In the paper and a writeup
which you think might help me so
cially. II you print, however. that
l am worth $500,ca0 then the board of
review will raise my taxes. have
found that people in society pay for
what they claim to have more often
than for what they actually possess
I'd rather keep my taxes as they are
and let no one know just how much
own."-Chicago Chronicle.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-09-29
Don't Use SIanq.

"a lady used the expression Gee
the other night says an exchange
1t had never occurred to her that thi'
was taking the name Of the Lord il
vain, and probably few of MANY who
indulge in sugar-coated profanity re-
alize that they are swearing. What is
Gee" though. but a euphemism fo,
"Jesus?" Dear me" is nothing but
the Latin "Deo Meo" (My God), "Fo,
Goodness Sake" is only for God:
Sake" "Drat it" is God rot it.
Judas Priest" is Jesus Christ" Got
'iy," Gosh" Glory" ETC.. are only vs.
riations of Damn it," In short. there
is probably not an expression Of thi.
sort that cannot be tracked to an oath
for its origin.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-09-29
Cautious Bride.

Bride Tin railway train)-Now, my
dear, you must remember not to act as
if we were just married. 1t would be
perfectly horrible to have all these
strange people know it. Sit up little
closer. want to fix your necktie. It's
all crooked. There's some dust on
your coat. I'll brush it off. How white
the stuff is! 1t must be from that
rice. One corner of your mustache
points down and the other up. 1t looks
too funny for anything. Wait; I'll fix
it. I'm tired to death. dear. Sit up
closer, so l can rest my head on
No, that won't do; must pretend to
read a novel, and-I don't know; per
haps you'd better go into the smoking
car All the married men do.
CROMWELL. I'll go, my darling, II
you think best.
Bride-Yes, you must go. Help me
off with this glove, dear. You must go
and stay real long-ten or fifteen min
utes.-New York Weekly.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-09-29
COSTUME OF POSTAGE STAMPS.
Remarkable Garment Worn by Ameri-
can Lady at Ball.

Remarkable Garment Worn by Ameri-
can Lady at Ball.
Over 10000 postage stamps were
used in the making of a dress for an
American lady. which she wore at a
bail al Bermuda short time ago.
Years had been spent in collecting the
stamps, and three weeks in making
the dress. which was of the finest mus
lin. The lady appealed to her friends
to help her. and the dress was COM
pletely covered with stamps of all ma
tions. Suspended from the talons was
globe made of very old blue revenue
stamps. On either side of the globe
was an American flag, the stripes Of
blue and red stamps. A collection, OF
foreien stamps was pasted on the
back of the bodice in the form of a
shield. the center of which was made
up of portrait OF the brave Sir
George Summers. cut from old rev.
enue stamps. A large picture. hat COW
cred with red and blue stamps IS
worn with the costume: a mask a i'd
very pretty fan were covered entire
ly with pink.-London Tit-Bits.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-09-29
IN A MOROCCAN SLAVE MARKET
Service Of Prayer Held Before che
Sales Of Persons Begin.


Out Of respect to the feelings OF his
DISTINGUISHED visitors. the sultan or
deref The sok ell abeed, or slave mar
kets Of Fez. to be closed while the
French mission was in the city.
ih.s concession is very artful one
ami may well serve double burl ose
1t Shows, in the first instance, very
deiicate regard for European pIeju-
dice 1t also gives the more fanatical
Moor TO understand what they must
expect in the days when the will of
Eufope is imposed upon the last inde-
pendent kingdom of the once dark con-
tinent
The sale of slaves Is very remark
able ceremony. When the buyers have
taEeu their seats in the market place
the anctioneers advance in line to the
cehter of the market and offer up a
pray, They appeal for divine favor
on behalf of buyers and sellers, and
anathematize satan and all his works.
The buyers interpolate amen" at the
proptr moments.
When the last word Of prayer has
been said the slaves are brought for.
war;, parceled out among the auc.
tionccrs and led around the circle of
buyers. who raise the prices of the
men. women and children they desire
to purchase.-New York Herald.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-09-29
RESTORED HIS HAIR
Scalp Humor Cured by cuticura Soap
and Ointment-After All Else
Had Failed.

"I was troubled with a severe scalp
humor and loss of hair that gave me a
great deal of annoyance and inconven-
ience. After unsuccessful efforts with
many remedies and so called hair
tonics, friend induced me to try
Cuticura Soap and Ointment. The
humor was cured in short time, my
hair was restored as healthy as ever.
and can gladly say have since been
entirely free from any further annoy
ance. | shall always use Cuticura
Soap. and keep the Ointment on
hand to use as a dressing for the hair
and scalp. (Signed) Fred'k Busche.
213 East 57th St, New York City,"
II man be pushed for money lie Is
usually showed to the rear.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-09-29
Kissed His Bicycle Bride FondIy.

been traversed the favorite was
thrown and displayed her chagrin by
selling the tail of the second bullock
in an endeavor to impede a rivals
progress. This resulted in an unpopu-
lar competitor coming in first, where
at the onlookers were SO disgusted
that they ducked the judge in pone.
New Brunswick was the scene, four
years since, Of bicycle race over
course of two miles, between a couple
of girls who were rivals for the af-
fections of an eligible swain. The
pr1ze himself, with a parson by his
side. took his stand at the winning
post, and no sooner had the winner,
Miss Nellie Donnelly, passed the goal
than the ceremony was performed,
the groom kissed his bride fondly,
and the newly married couple left the
ground amid the acclamations Of the
large concourse that had witnessed
the contest.
TO run to point some hundred
yards distant, there to change dresses
for others laid in readiness on the
ground, and to return to the starting
point, was the trial undertaken last
year at Brussels by some half dozen
women to decide which should wed
man who had offered himself as
prize to the winner. On the word be-
ing given, one at once dropped to the
rear and logged on quite unconcern-
edly, for she was aware that the
sleeves of the dresses laid out for her
rivals had been sewed up. The CON
fusion subsequent on this enabled her
to win the race and the prize, who, it
is more than likely, was well aware
of the ruse.
The keeper of Havre restaurant
some eight years back offered himself
as a prize to be run for in an obsta-
Gle race by young women. Here, too,
suspicion pointed to the result hav-
ing been previously arranged, for the
last difficulty to be overcome con-
sisted of wriggling between two bars
SO close together that none but the
slimmest could pass. Six out of sew
en- competitors were thus put out of
the race, which was won by wisp of
a girl, who, negotiating the narrow
space with little trouble, carried oft
Boniface, in accordance, probably,
with that willy mans intention.
Equally perfidious was the conduct
of a young Englishman. who some
The Grit-advocate., 1905-09-29
A Street Scene.

The American tourist In IIondor
was showing some photographs to hi.
English acquaintances.
This he said, exhibiting a pictur:
taken during the recent blowout OF
the Dramatic Order of Khorassan, "is
a street scene on Woodward avenue
Detroit. Mich, in the heart OF the
Rockies"
The Englishman expressed much
surprise at the large number Of fierce.
looking sheiks and sword-carrying
brigands in the crowd, but the Ameri
can explained that during the lasi
year s5,764 Turkish and Arabian bri
gands had landed in New York city
Sione.-Detroit Tribune.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-09-29
TEA
How does it happen that
all good tea comes to Schil-
ling?
1t doesn't; not all; not all.
Your grocer returns your money II you don't like
Schllllng's Best.
The Coming Nation"

Now the American immigration
question in Canada has reached a eli
max, says the Worlds Work. 1t takes
only three years for an immigrant to
earn a vote in Canada, and $4,000 for
mer American voters will soon come
into their Canadian suffrage There
are in round numbers 100000 males
more than eighteen years OF age in
Dxestern Canada who formerly lived in
the United States. 15O. 900 of whom are
old enough to vote. There are now be-
tween 100000 and 100000 settlers, with
possible voting population OF FAC. 900.
a high percentage because many cat
tlemen without families are emigrat-
ing from Montana and Wyoming. BY
the end OF 1905 the American vote in
the Canadian West will be overwhelm-
ing.
In eastern Canada thousands Of peo-
pie believe that this invasion means
the ultimate annexation Of western
Canada by the United States. 1t Is
called the coming nation"
The Grit-advocate., 1905-09-29
Monstrosities Of Goldfish.

The goldfish, zoologically speaking
appears to be an exceptionally "plas-
tic" animal. BY skilled breeding al.
most anything can be done with It,.
and one variety recently evolved in
China has huge eyeballs. which pro.
variey, called the telescope fish," Is
surpassed in point Of queerness. how
ever. by another. likewise Of Chinese
origin whose eyes have not only start
ed nut of its head, but have turned up
ward ninety degrees. SO that the pu-
pills look directly skyward 1t is moth.
iug less than q monstrosity.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-09-29
RAILWAY RATES.
Advantages Possessed by Americans in
Our Low Rates.

Compilations made from foreign and
domestic statistics slOw freight rate
on English roads of nearly cents per
mineral ton-mile. The actual figures
are 1.93 cents. A ton-mile of merchan-
disc or live stock costs 2.94, and on all
commodities an average of 2.32.
Against these the figures for the
United States are startlingly small, be-
ing 0.5S cent. On German roads it Is
1.42 cents; on French, 1.55; Austrian,
1.16, and Hungarian, 1.3O.
England's passenger rates per mile
on the same classes as cited for the
United States were cents. Germany's
3.S cents. For their average days
wages workmen can travel as follows:
American. 65 miles; British, IS; Ger
man. SO; French. 40; Belgian, Sc;
Italian, 3S and East Indian, q.
On American roads locomotive engi-
neers average 81 day; English. $1.62;
Belgian, $1.01. American firemen get
$2.2S; British. 81 cents; Belgian, 72
cents. Railroad laborers in the United
States get from two to four times as
much as laborers on foreign roads.
Forty per cent. of the gross earnings
Of American railroads goes to labor,
while only twenty-five per cent. goes
to capital.
In England labor gets twenty-seven
per cent, capital thirty-eight per cent;
in Germany the division is equal
In the last four years American roads
paid $S74 100000 for cars, engines etc.
The roads were capitalized at $12,792.-
SCOOPS (now $4,000. .0OO,OOO), on the
basis, in 1903, of $6l 1863 per mile. Eng
lish roads that year stood for $277,474
per mile, German roads for $104,725,
French for $143.053, Russian for SIC.
O95, Austrian $110,475. Belgian $167,-
S9S.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-09-29
CHRONIC TRYSIPELAS
Cured BY Or. Williams Pink Ptna,
Although Whoio Body wss
Affected.

Erysipelas or St. Anthony's fire is .
most uncomfortable disease ON account
of the burning. the pain and the dis.
hgurement; it is also very grave dis
order. attended always by the danger Of
Involving vital organs i'll its spread.
The case which follows will be read
with great interest by all sufferers AZ it
affected the whole body, and refused to
yield to the remedies prescribed by the
physician employed Mrs. Ida A. Col.
bath, who was the victim Of the attack,
residing at No. 10 Winter street, New.
buryport, Mass, SAYS:
''In June of 1908 was taken i'll with
what at first appeared to be q fever. /
sent for physician who pronounced my
disease chronic erysipelas and said it
would be long time before I got WELL
inflammation began OH my face aud
spread all over my body. My eyes were
swollen and seemed bulging out of their
sockets. l was in terrible plight and
suffered the most intense pain through
out my body. The doctor said my
case was a very severe one. Under
his treatment, however, the infiamma.
ton did not diminish and the pains
which shot through my body increased
i'll severity. After being two months un-
der his care, without any improvement. I
dismissed him.
Shortly after this, OH the advice Of q
friend, began to take DR.. Williams
Pink Pills for Pale People, two at dose
three times a day. After the second box
had been used was surprised to notice
that the inflammation was going down
and that the pains which used to cause
me SO much agony had disappeared. Af-
ter using six boxes of the pills was up
and around the house attending to my
household duties, as well as ever"
DR.. Williams Pink Pills are sold by
all dealers i'll medicine or may be OBJ
tanned direct from the DR.. Williams
Medicine Co.. Schenectady, NY.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-09-29
NOT WORRYING OVER CONTRACT.
No Matter What She Signed. Woman
Would Pay When She Liked.

No Matter What She Signed, Woman
Would Pay When She Liked.
"Do you know what you signed?"
asked the man, as the woman laid
down her pen.
why, yes" she replied. Il signed
a contract to pay for a piano in SO
many months at the rate of so many
dollars per month"
How do you know you did," asked
the man. You didn't read the con.
tract"
Il know that" said the woman. "It
wasn't necessary. l haven't time for
that. know what / told them down
at the office yesterday"
THAT is just like woman" said
the man, impatiently. They clap
their names to any kind of a docu-
ment without reading it over. So care
less are they about such things that
half the women in the land would
sign their own death warrant and not
know it."
Then the man read slowly through
the written agreement.
Here" he said, lis mistake, first
pop. Fortunately you are dealing with
reliable firm that will rectify it. If
you were buying from some jay con-
cern that would hold you to your bar
gain you would have to make your
payments on the 18th of every month.
instead Of on the list, as you wish to
do"
"Oh, that's nothing" said the
woman. serenely. Don't worry about
that. I'll pay whenever l get ready,
no matter what the contract says"
"Oh excuse me-" said the man. Per.
haps that explains why all women
think it unnecessary to read whatever
papers they sign"
The Grit-advocate., 1905-09-29

years back offered his hand and for
tune as first prize for a sack race.
over fifty yards, to be competed for by
girls under 25 years of age At the
goal he stood ready to surrender him.
self to the winner, but when he recog.
nized in the leader gaunt woman
of notorious temper his courage failed
him and he fed. The baked woman
threatened both law proceedings and
personal chastisement, but was at
length Modified by sufficient money
to set her up in business.
The Grit-advocate., 1905-09-29
RACED FOR HUSBAND
QUEER CONTESTS THAT HAVE
PRECEDED MATRIMoNv.
With euIIoeks a. steeds Portuguese
Damseis Sought to Win Prize-ons
Happy Pair Married at the Winning
Post-Not All on the Square.

The joint birthday Of King Carlos.
Of Portugal, and his consort was cele-
brated at village near Braga in a
novel way. A handsome young farmer
named Coelhe, for whom several local
beauties had long sighed in vain, de-
termined to sacrifice his freedom by
offering himself as a prize to her who
should be successful in bullock race.
Several handsome peasant girls ap-
pcared at the starting post. riding
bareback on bullocks with decorated
horns and tails. A capital start was
effected, but ere half the distance had