Omaha daily bee., 1905-12-10
Variations in Domestic Bliss

VARIATIONS In Domestic Bliss
The grave and the gay are closely allied
in married life and are cropping out con-
stantly. A CLEAN of humor often pierces
the Earring elements.
Take the case of the Schultzes, man and
wife. OF Buffalo. Joseph Schultz and his
better half dwell together in peace and con-
cord save when Mr.. Schultz goes to sleep
Then Mrs. Schultz for the life OF her can't
keep her hands out of the capacious
trousers pockets of her husband to learn
what she can find.
Mr.. Schultz resolved TO end this once and
for all. SO he took the family mousetrap
and, carefully adjusting the business por-
tion thereof. he put it in his change pocket
and calmly fell asleep to pleasant dreams
Snapl "Oo-ee-ee-eey
Mr.. Schultz awoke. Then he smiled
grimly. There was the woman he had
sworn to love and cherish dancing about
the room with the mousetrap clinging to
her finger. 1t hurt, too.
When the morning came Mrs. Schultz
marched promptly to the court and there
swore out a warrant for the arrest of her
husband. He was hailed to court.
II was only putting my fingers in his
BONhON as w SN0iy hlSnN " get oOlho
change" protested Mrs. Schultz. showing
Doesn't he support your" demanded the
court.
"oh, yes. judge" replied the wife,
but"
HE can keep a mousetrap in every one
of his pockets If he Wishes" retorted the
court, ito protect his money. Case dis
missed"
Schultz smiled grimly once more and then
CALAMITY escorted his wife home. Their
little tilt is ended and husband and wife
are living in peace and contentmeht and the
Schultz small change is safe, thanks to
the mousetrap that did its duty.
The woes of the Rucksuhls of Brooklyn,
now before the supreme court, are not too
much mother-in-law, but too much
mothers-in-law. Neither side has anything
more than this TO charge.
my mother says that If live with you
any longer she will disown me, and would
rather stick to my own people than to you,
so am going to take my things and go
to my mothers" said the husband, accord
ing to the wife's AFFIDAVIT.
MY wife has been away from home most
of the time and has been at her mothers
house morning, afternoon and evening"
swore the husband.
What is the court to dot
Just a coat of tan led to the tragedy OF
the Oranges, man and wife, OF Des
Moines, and now they live apart.
IT insisted on his using a complexion
powder, but he wouldn't do it," sobbed
Mrs. Orange, land he laughed when I
asked him to use lemon Juice. never
could stand dark-skinned men. and I just
grew to hate hinfA When I married him
he was white, but now he's nearly red,
and won't live with him!"
DR.. Aaron L. Newton of Northfield,
Mass, asked his wife TO bant and she took
the waters at Saratoga in a vain attempt
to get thin until her health broke down.
When she came home she began to grow
plumper than ever, and as she did, so she
asserted in her legal papers, DR.. Newton's
love grew chillier and chillier. And so
they had their little tragedy, which finally
got into court.
Black art was the undoIng OF Mrs
Nathaniel Gibbs Ingraham, whose little
domestic tragedy was aired in the courts
only recently. She Is an heiress. Her
husband and she fell out two years after
marriage. He wanted $500 a year on ante
nuptial contracts and she struck back with
the sworn statement that her husband
induced her by various insidious devices,
such as fortune telling" to divorce her
former husband. and that she signed the
papers when he coaxed without reading
them. Mr. Ingraham promptly reported
that his wife proposed to him, but he de-
clined. afterward consenting ito marry
her, she being - poor health"
-Four weeks was the brief spell of Mrs.
Martha Bradford's happiness at Fountain.
Colo, Then her husband. she alleges, belied
the name of the town by selling her at
public auction for a bottle of beer. He
actually tried to turn her over TO the pur-
chaser, she says, and then the tragedy.
Mush and milk ended the welded dream
of Mrs. Jennie Stotter She had nothing
else to eat from the day Of her marriage
In 1896. she swore. until she grew tired
after nine years of breakfast food three
times a day. Then she went home to her
mother.
There is no humor in the little tragedy OF
Charles Rogers and his wife, Mrs Daisy
b. Rogers. Though deeply in love, they
have lived apart since 1902 and the husband
has not contributed 10 his wife's support.
Her love for her husband was so deep
that Mrs. Rogers sacrificed herself 10 en-
rich her husband. His father cut him on
without cent, though he died a million
alre, for such a period as Rogers remained
married to his wife.
A milliner's bill brought woe TO George
X. Davis and his wife, formerly Miss
Helen Gallatin OF this city. II amounted
TO &2243.5O and Mr.. Davis objected. His
wife at once brought suit for divorce.
Davis didn't defend II, but his sad part OF
the story was that he had to pay the
milliner's bill and lose his wife to boot
Is this comic or tragic? DR.. Wylie Wyatt
Campbell of Pittsburg sued Mrs Rose A.
Breitenreiter Of McKeesport the other day
for breach Of promise and $4,000 damages
In her answer Mrs. Breitenreiter alleged
that Dr. Campbell couldn't support her
that he was OF violent temper, had cursed
her. had threatened her life. had disso-
lutte habits, had deserted a former wife
was a heavy drinker and a general ALL
round loafer Yet while the case was on
the docket for trial the two evaded the
sharp eyes of the lawyers. kissed and
made up, ran away and were married
Now they are the happiest pair In Nc
Keesport Their tragedy. perhaps, was
before and not after their marriage.
Long and Snort OF IL.
Lorenzo Schmidt a Seventh Day Adven.