davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27
AMONG THE TESTERS.


Little boy" said a gentleman, why
head? It's not raining"
And the sun is not shining"
Then why do you carry it?"
Cause when IL rains pa wants II. and
when the sun shines ma uses II, and it's
only this kind OF weather that l can get
to use it at alL"-Philadelphia Public
Led=er.
When the fool-killer came, to the man
who rocks the boat he was determined TO
mete out severe punishment
Are you going TO kill him?" asked the
NO" replied the fool-killer. that would
be too lenient. am going to make him
marry modern club woman, so he will
be doomed to rock the baby when she goes
out. Chicago News.
Young Husband-Bertha, did you ask
the grocer to show you some OF those
seedless beans / was telling you about
Young WiTe-Yes; and 81 you want your
you can warm them yourself, sir / won't
Chicago Tribune.
Collector-Tve motioned to that old
man three times and he pretends not to
see me. Now, I'm going TO present this
once BoySAw. YOU C" chump r He can't
see you-don't you know he Is blind?
Collector--Blind? Then, by George. he's
land Leader.
But why do you live in town If you
don't like lt?','. asked Copthall.
-. have to live in town" said Contango,
TO make enough money TO keep up my
country place.'-New Yorker.
"D'y ear Jimmy-wot's a fort?
Place where they. keeps soldiers"
Then wots a fortress?"
Where they keeps soldiers wives, o
course!-Illustrated Bits.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

has practical control Of the product. or
at any rate OF the market 1t is under
stood that the OF producers Of California
are very anxious TO break the hold Of the
trust, but how this can be accomplished,
II at all, is a problem by no means easy
Of solution. However, the California oil
production is contributing very largely TO
the wealth and prosperity Of that state.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

What is the necessity of middle man
for the sale of voting machines and a
middle man for the sale of fire hose?
Why should not the city deal directly
with the concerns that manufacture
these commodities or the regularly ac-
credited representatives of these con-
Germs
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

The unexpended balance Of all ap-
preparations made by the legislature Of
1908 will lapse on August 81, but no
apprehension need be felt on that score.
Any unexpended balance that can be
drawn legitimately will have been
pulled out before the clock strikes u on
that date.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

Porto Rico complains because people
unacquainted with the duties of the office
undertake TO administer the affairs Of the
islands. In course Of time Porto Rico
will become accustomed TO this, for it is
one Of the results of living in self-gov-
erning republic.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27
A SUMMER NIGHT.
Paul Laurence Dunbar in the Angus
Century.

Paul Laurence Dunbar in the Angus
Century.
Summah Is de lovIn' time
Do keer what you say,
Night is allus peart an prime,
Bettah dan de day;
Dough de day is sweet an good,
Birds a-singin' fine,
Pines a-smellin' in de wood
But de night Is mine.
Rivah whisperin', "Howdy dor"
Ez II pass you by;
Moon a-lookin down at you,
Wirkin' on de sly.
Frogs a-croakin' f'om de pom,
Singin' bass dey I'LL
An you listen way beyon'
OF man whippo' will.
Hush up, honey, TEX my ham,
Max yo' footsteps light;
Somep'n kin o. hol's de lam
On a summah night
SOmep'n dat you nevah sees
An you nevah hyeahs,
But you feels IL In de breeze
Somep'n nigh 10 teahs.
Somep'n nigh TO tsahs3 OATS 50;
But hits nigh 20 smiles,
An you feel II eE you 20
Down de Ehinin' miles.
TEX my han, my little dove;
Hush an come erway-
Summah Is de time fu' love,
Nighttime beats de dayi
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

A Swedish statesman proposes a new
basis of union between that country and
Norway with an international parlia-
ment and a common foreign administra-
ton. The plan might be feasible II both
parties could give necessary bonds to
keep the peace.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

Omaha business men are officially as
sured that the Great Northern will build
a cut off into Omaha from the Sioux
City and Ashland line; but cut on from
a cut on is not just what the business
men OF Omaha have been praying for.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

Benehcent fate has the wire trust"
In its keeping. No sooner do the stock
mans fences have to come down in the
west than yellow fever causes an in
creased demand for wire screens in the
south.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

Omaha grain dealers will TAKE very
little comfort out of the assurance Of
the traffic manager Of the Burlington
system that there will be no disturbance
in the rate situation whatever by the
building of the Sioux City and Ashland
line, and that the Great Northern has
no desire to disturb the rates, and could
not do so If desired. Nobody said it
would. But Mr.. Jim Fill was never
suspected OF a purely benevolent turn
of mind in his railroad operations. He
would never have given countenancc to
the project Of extending the Great North
ern into southern Nebraska unless he
expected to haul a very considerable por-
ton of the grain raised in that section
of the state to Minneapolis and Duluth
in other words, to divert the grain raised
within the territory tributary to Omaha
TO the milling and export centers in Min
nesota. The only cOmpensating advan-
tage Omaha grain merchants will derive
from the Great Northern extension is
competitive line to Minneapolis and
Lake Superior, but inasmuch as the rates
from Missouri river points are common
to all lines, except in times of war, it
will be simply a question of natural or
unnatural selection.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

Kansas may find itself with two state
treasurers. but as the new law compel
ling county treasurers to deposit funds in
approved banks goes into effect in about
a month the taxpayers should be saved
subiection to a double risk.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

Thurston county has been enjOlned
from taxing funds belonging to the
Omaha and Winnebago Indians on de-
pOsit in Iowa and Nebraska banks. Now,
n Uncle Sam could only enjoin the graft.
ers and bootieggers around about the
Indian reservations from laying their
hands on that money, the Indians might
have something left for food and raj,
ment
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27
Glory Enoush for All.

There is a dispute as TO whether John
Paul Jones' Commodore Barry or Essex
HOP Gins was the father of the American
navy but 1t doesn't matter much They
were all ornaments to the service and
the country is rich enough to give them
all fitting monuments.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

Young Mr.. Hyde says he will in future
reside in Paris. Here is an opportunity
for late ambassador to America to re-
turn the favor Of a much discussed
dinner.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

A Lincoln paper says that the way for
Douglas county to establish its primney
in Nebraska is on the assessment roll.
1t has established that long ago. Doug
las county has for years been paying
about one-ninth of all the expenses of
state government.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

And now the local democratic organ is
urging the city councilmen to spend more
money on weed cutting presumably so
It can accuse them later of giving public
funds to political weed cutters.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

The statement OF Mr.. Hartman re-
garding Equitable affairs shows that the
good director is not too inquisitive about
company affairs, so he will have little to
tell when the explosion occurs.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

The Fish and Game commission is said
to be collecting specimens OF native Ne
braska fish for exhibition at the coming
State fair. II should not overlook the
political small fry nor the frenzied
finance suckers.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

Rockefeller is making no claims, but
he is finding partnership with lightning
in Texas more profitable than Sully's
partnership with the boil weevil in the
same state.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

a house in New York to a house in any
city in Europe, with only one packing.
van is hoisted on board a transatlantic
liner and goes by steamer and train to the
city of it's destination. Then 1t is set on
wheels and driven to the house, where the
goods are carefully unpacked,
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27
LOGIC OF Events.

Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Philadelphia Ledger is one OF those
journals which are nsver satisfied 10 let
a bygone be a bygGze Il says the sum
mer capital might have been Esopus. and
there might have been bulletins about the
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

That German who committed suicide
because he was not permitted to make
bis home In the United States evidently
had not read all Of the books on America
published by his compatriots.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

From present appearances those 8OO,-
100000 sOre-eyed Cinnamon Of Colonel
Mulberry Sellers have turned their
clouded optics upon the United States
and can see nothing but trouble.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

IhlIadeIphla Iress.
Champ Clark lost $50 TO a sneakthief
the other day. Now some Of his con-
stituents will he asking what this
snorting warhorse OF the antitrust bat
tie is doing with a pIutocrats roll in his
rlncknf
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

Cleveland Plain Dealer.
OF course the sun spots are held to blame
for the recent hot wave. Amy natural
phenomenon that can't be otherwise ac-
counted for should be charged to the solar
blemishes. II gratifes a lot Of people and
it doesn't hurt the spots.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27
Their onIy refuge.

Chicago Tribune.
Mr.. Bryan, p. ID. c. perpetual demo-
cratic candidate) says the woods are
fun Of wide awake democrats" still
more Of them are likely to take to the
woods II he keeps on talking.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

Advices from Washington would indi-
cate that Secretary Bonaparte has not
been in Office long enough to find where
the whitewash brush is kept
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27
Haven for Holmes.

washington fost.
statisticiau Holmes should have no
difficulty in getting a job preparing cir
culation ahidavits for newspapers that
we WOt OF.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

That asphalt repair plant can thor
oughly ingratiate itself with people who
use Omaha streets by keeping busy until
compelled to go into winter quarters.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27
Takina Her Degrees.
chicago Post.

The Nebraska university girl who
caught an NJ. c. when she was studying
for b. A. will be reconciled to the change
when she can write MA after her name.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

presidents baths IN the Hudson river.
Looking calmly and retrospectively over
the situation, We believe now Il could not
possibly have been
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

Corea has also sent representative to
the peace conference. The emperor Of
tire hermit kingdom is resolved to exer-
else his prerogatives to the last
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27
WHEN OUT OF TOWN.

Subscribers lea Wing the city tenn
pOrRriIy should have The Bee
mailed to them. Il IL better than
n daily letter from home. Ad-
dress will be changed as often As
requested.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

In the suit brought by the Delmar
Jockey club against him for $25, 900 dam
ages Governor Folk can probably urge
the advertising received as a setoff.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

The municipal asphalt paving plant
appears to be,9 paying investment in
spite Of the obstacles 1t has encountered.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

Mr.. AimO Sato shows that the Japa-
nese are not backward either In learning
the gentle art of "jollying."
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

With the advent OF summer police SER
geants began TO have trouble with lost
children.
The other day two little girls, about 10
years old. entered the West Forty-seventh
Street police station, dragging a little boy
between them about summers old.
Sergeant, this little boy is lost" said
one OF the girls. The child was sobbing
convulsively.
Where did you hnd him, little girl?"
asked the sergeant
I'm front Of Ssl Tenth avenue" was the
reply.
The child was turned over TO Matron
Reynolds. and In about fifteen minutes
later an excited mother rushed in. She
was directed back 20 the matron's room,
where she found her son fast asleep on
the lounge. II was the boy the little girls
had brought 10 the station.
The sergeant asked the mother where the
boy lived and she replied:
Eat S95 Tenth avenue?"
II thought 80. Those two kids kid
mapped him. by Jimmy. that's what they
did They just wanted 70 play cop" ex-
plained the sergeant.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

The severest shsfeup in years was given
10 the Little Tenderloin police station.
which is operated each SUNNI by. s1r. and
against the children, black and white. OF
West Thirticth street, between sixth and
seventh avenues, where TIE rca! Tcrder
loin police station is
Following the election of Commissioner
BoWdie' Cans came the shakeup in the
station. He removed the entire station
force, transferring all Of the men either
to Staten Island or to the Bronx-in his
mind. Late the other night he gave out an
pointments for the station:
Benjamin Jarratt, captain; James Jar
raft sergeant; Clarence Thoroces and
Philip Abrahams, roundsmen; Dick VIII
Mans doorman. incidentally these police.
men were transferred from BROOKLYN.
Rlenzi Bull, Samuel Abrahams and Jacob
Waurschen.
Despite the fact that in his campaign he
SAID he would not countenance nepotism.
Commissioner Cans starts out by putting
Two Jarratts into the highest and second
highest places in the station. The lar
rats are his second cousins. Il is already
predicted that Commissioner Cans win
never get a second nomination, much less
a second election
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.
State OF Nebraska, Douglas County, S.;
G. q. Roscwater, secretary Of inc Zee
publishing Company, being duly sworn.
says that the actual number OF fun ana
complete copies OF The Daily, Morning
Evening and Sunday Bee printed during the
month of luna 1QnS a x follows.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

queer speciality in the moving trade
has sprung up in the last few years, since
Americans go more and more frequently
TO Europe. one company makes bust
ness OF moving the entire furniture from
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27
ROUND ABOUr NEW YORK.
RippIes on the Current Of Life in the
Mechanically

hANHAEa ON Nhe current OF LIE IN the
Metropolis.
For the last week or two Detective Pea
body Of the central once has been busy
in one Hundred and Twenty-ffth street
rounding up car pickpockets About
O'Clock Sunday morning, with the knowl-
edge Of work well done, body started
back 10 the central Office
1t was a fine morning. The heat wave
had passed and gentle cool zephyr was
signing through the trees along LenoN
avenue.
4 can't face that subway on a night
like this" thought Peabody.
He hired horse and buggy and started
down town via Central Park He was
tred-sleepy. Something attempted. some
thing done. had earned a brief repose. He
lay back in the seat OF the buggy ana
looking up at the moon skulkng through
ragged wisps of cloud began to compose
verses, while the old horse logged along
the West drive Suddenly a man with
pistol in his hand and a cloak flung across
his left arm In approved villainous fashion
stood by the horses head.
You disturb my reverie" said Peabody
petulantly, as the horse stopped Say.
what's a rhyme for SUM-" he added i'm
differently.
The highwayman pondered
'Sun-sun-sun," he echoed
The pistol point lowered. Next moment
Peabody shot out Of the buggy and landed
on top Of the moonlit Turpin. The de-
tective showed a revolver under his cap.
tives nose
Gum he said triumphantly. Guns a
rhyme. So is run, but there's nothin.
dom"
Peabody looked at the prisoner. The
moonlight fell upon his face.
oh, it's you, Bill McGinnis," said Pea
BODY. I thought you we're keeping down
the lower east side. You're getting ambi-
tious."
You here, Frank Peabody" gasped
McGinniss. Gee, you got me for fair"
Then Peabody put the bracelets" on
McGinnis, and Pegasus logged to the West
Forty-seventh Street station.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

Fatrolman Joseph Mury, who has re-
turned from the Barge office, after two
months duty in the Charles street precinct
rendered decision worthy of Solomon.
Two pretty girls, dressed exactly alike.
appeared at the Ellis island gate with a
pass 10 appear before the Board of spe-
cal Inquiry, to claim their brother. who
arrived on the steamship Rhoetia.
The rules allow only one person to claim
relatives, and the gateman said So Neither
girl wished to go without the other, how
ever Mury suggested that the older
should go.
You go, Fannie" said the one.
No, you go, jessie"
How old are your" asked Mury of Fan.
ME.
SIXTEEN"
HI " old is your sister,"
About the same. We are twins"
Twins. Ell? Well, twins are one. Here
Nick" Ito the gateman), twins certainly
are entitled to go on one ticket"
And on the policeman's decision, both
were admitted
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

Thanks TO pluck, Judgment and the speed
OF trolley car a 5-year-old girl was saved
from death in the Bronx. Late in the after
noon horse hitched to a light wagon
stood driverless close 70 the curb at Ire
mont avenue and Boston road. d. G. Fow
Ter, its owner, chatted on the sidewalk
with friend, while Hattie his little daugh-
ter, sat in the wagon, her chubby fin
gers holding the reins. Suddenly the
horse bolted down fremont avenue. the
terrified shrieks of the child urging him on
like so many cuts Of a whiplash.
At the same time Coroner Berry of the
Bronx, was getting on a fremont avenue
car. There was thunder OF pounding hoofs
wild shout OF warning from the sidewalk
crowds to clear the way, and the runaway
horse, with the swaylng wagon, shot past
the car with the speed of a rocket
One glance was enough for Coroner Berry.
springing to the motorman's side, he said:
Put me alongside of that runaway. We
must save that child!"
Right you are was the answer, and
in another instant the crowded car was
whizzing in pursuit Sparks few from the
overhead wire, and frightened passengers
shouted while the car, eating up distance
like an Empire State Express, overhauled
the runaway.
Twice Coroner Berry crouched for a
spring, but each time the horse forged out
OF reach When he finally did jumn, his
fingers gripped the runaway's bride rein
close 10 the bit and chung there.
To the startled crowds It seemed % II he
would be killed. He was dragged for a
block, but the grip on the bri1e never
relaxed. When the horse halted the res
cued child sprang into the outstretched
arms of Coroner Berry, ciasped her arms
around his neck and covered hiB face with
| kisses
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

c. c. ROsEwATER,
Secretary.
Subscribed in my presence and sworn to
before me this eth day OF July, 1905.
(Seal) NJ. b. HUNGATE,
Notary Public.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
Daily Bee without Sunday. one year. - %
Daily Bee and Sunday, one year. ......... W.
ILLUSTRATED Bee, one year ..............-... 80
sunday Bee one year ..................... ~
saturday Bee, one year ................... l.ol
twentieth Century Farmer, one year.. Nv
DELIVERED BY CARRIER.
Daily Bee without Sunday, per copy. q
Daily Bee without sunday. per week nc
Daily Bee Including Sunday, per week nc
Evening Bee without sunday, per week &c
Evening Bee Including Sunday per
week -
Complaints Of Irregularities In delivery
should be addressed 20 City Circulation De-
partment
OFFICES.
2 Omaha-The Bee Building.
South Omaha-City Hall Building, TWeh-
ty-nfth and NJ streets.
Council Bufs--1O Pearl street.
Chicago-16D Unity Building.
New Hork-l59 Home Lie insurance
Building.
Washington-5Oi Fourteenth street.
CORRESPONDENCE.
Communications relating 20 news and edi-
toriai matter should be addressed; Omaha
Bee, Editorial Department.
REMITTANCES.
Remit by draft, express or postal order
payable 10 The Bee Publishing Company
Only 2-cent stamps received In payment OF
mail accounts. Personal checks. except on
Omahn or eastern exchanges, not accepted
TIE BEE PUBLISHING COMPANY.
Omaha daily bee., 1905-07-27

When the fool-killer came to the man
who rocks the boat he was determined TO
mete out severe punishment
Are you going to kill him?' asked the
friend
The Penn's Grove record., 1905-09-01
INDICATIONS.

There is no doubt about it; we all know
it right away.
1t won't be a pleasant day.
We can tell it by his footsteps as he moves
about the room
1t will be a day of gloom.
We can hear some ordinations
That are clearly indications
He has got out from the left side-twaA
the wrong side, sure, instead
Of the right side of the bed.
The bathroom door has opened and in
angry tones he yells-
1t is one of fathers spells.
Some ones misplaced the towels-those
upon the rack are used.
How the poor man is abused!
he now proceeds to wonder
What the nation! Why in thunder!
Who the dickens touched his razors! He
Is surely raising Ned.
It's the wrong side of the bed.
He is coming down to breakfast and the
coffee will be cold
And the e~ggs-confound 'em!-old!
The toast he'll find is sinful and the cakes
unfit for food
In his present surly mood.
He is, as Johnny whispers, though his lips
are white with fear,
A bear with a sore ear.
The family all tremble, and they've really
cause for dread.
IT'S the wrong side of the bed.
Chicago News.
The Penn's Grove record., 1905-09-01
Catcher Cruel to the Dogs.

"Jim" Phillips. the city dogcatcher,
of Trenton, was arraigned before
Judge Harris charged by E. w. Swami.
No. 627 Brunswick avenue, Trenton,
with assault and battery and cruelty
to animals. Swami claims that a few
days ago Phillips was attempting to
catch his dog, but when the animal
ran too fast for him he turned around
and struck the owner. Patrolman De-
vinney claimed that he visited the dog
pound and found that twenty dogs that
had been knocked in the head with an
axe at Z a. N. were still living and suf-
fering much pain from deep gashes
three hours later.
The Penn's Grove record., 1905-09-01
Carries His Own Glass.

give me a glass of orange phos.
plate," said the red-faced man.
Then he took a tall, thin glass from
his coat pocket and passed it over to
the clerk.
whats that forT' asked the clerk.
ITO put the phosphate in," said the
man. Il can't drink out of your
glasses. l sat in a place once where ]
could see you fellows dabble your
spoons and the glasses in that little
pool under the counter. That was
enough for me. Since then, when /
go out for a soda or phosphate, / take
my wv glass along. You needn't be
afraid of it. 1t is regulation size. II
won't hold a drop more than your own
glasses. The only difference is it is
clean. Hurry up, please"
The clerk seemed in doubt, but he
mixed the phosphate. the fastidious
man slipped it with ~appreciative smacks
and glared contemptuously the while
upon the common herd who took their
refreshments from drug store glasses
New York Press.
The Penn's Grove record., 1905-09-01
Dc Not slight Opportunities.

Opportunities come and so. Jesus Of
Nazareth enters and passes through
our town, our home, u church, U
inner consciousness. He is always
present. but there are special times
when His presence is more d~iScernible,
when He is more Immediately, more
palpably, present, so to sneak, snd
these are times of special opportunity.
Such opportunities cannot be sighted
without losing the special blessing
which might have been gained by
prompt action.
Times of bereavement, times OF loss
and disaster and discouragemcnt, times
of special temptation and Eve of con-
scious defeat and sinfulness: and,
above all. times of special revival in
the church or in the community-these
are the times of special opportunity for
Pa ming spiritual blessing. and none Of
us can afford to lose the special bless
ing which can be obtained by tho
prompt and earnest utilizing of such
opDortunitieS.
The Penn's Grove record., 1905-09-01
Burglars Loot Postofice.

Burglars blew open the safe in the
postottice at Three Bridges early in the
morning. Enough nitro glycerine was
used to wreck a dozen Safes About 2
o'clock many of the neighbors were
awakened by the explosion, but no one
made any investigation. Everything
in the room was knocked askew, and
a large piece of the safe was blown
through the building. A large hole
was blown through the ceiling. and the
flooring was ripped up beneath the
safe. All the window panes were
blown out. The thieves obtained Sc
i'll cash and between $40 and $50 in
postage stamps.