New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1905-09-04
.GATHERED ABOUT TOWN

IL nearly year
when the year was about up the young man
went to my and said: Whatd be the In
terest on so fer "A year,
when told that it s.. he said: I wish't
you'd lend me three. give the boss fifty ter keep
fer me and I want ter pay him the interest"
A Harlem mother went shopping the other day.
leaving the maid in charge OF her two children The
maid in n way maids have. forgot 20 look after the
children for about ten minutes and in that time
whole far OF jam disappeared from the tee box
William said the mother on her return; Of
course accusing the boy end OF the housenoid rrst;
did you eat mammals jam?
Nope" responded the youngster.
.Oh why ma NINA. he did too" broke in the sis
ter. Hes telling hb
Shes telling fD, too, mamma She didn't zee
me when took it
A teacher in one OF the East Side Fairgrounds
overheard the following between boys.
whose character for badness was we'll esta 6lishsd
and another who had recently made some good
resolutions:
There take that you milk and water" said the
first. hitting the other smart blow on the race
II have told my mother that would never s''iNs
q plavmate" said the good" boy. folding MS arms
..tsut how do YOU like that" he said between rs
teeth savagely at the same time giving 'he 'au
boy vicious kick on the shin
The following bit dialogue was overheard IN an
uptown hotel between a porter and hall boy:
Hey. da 20 Pete. What youse a lookn' at da;
papah TO-? Yo' CANT read
oh no! 1 guess l cain read Ise big noush 70
oa "sho' Psic steam rollers big enough ter kstch
an automobile. but 1t CANT
4 Douceruan On the upper West Side was stopped
the other night by man considerably drunk
Want be arrested. said the 6ioulous one
Won are able 10 walk home argued the police
man. Give me your address and I'll take you
there il il amt far.
..FJorne2 Shlke shish? Nav, nav, He don't
shget me inter anythin' like shat jail LeT mine.
We don't know nay wife shor ye wouldn't Jest my
goin' home"
Brooklyn woman who likes Chinese servants.
or rather who did like Chinese servants. is now
looking for steadygoing Irish girl 10 90 her
cooking The reason for it is this
John" said the going into the kitchen
the other day. why do your countrymen oind Up
the feet of their women -, 8
$50 ley not trottee round kitchen an bollee lee
cook"
The maid in A Harlem house rad just Joined IN.
union The mistress is having her troubles be-
coming accustomed to the newly acquired arrogancs
with which the maid governs the household.
Maggie. did you hear the bell ring? mildly
oueried the mistress the other day.
"shurs." replied the maid. calmly continuing her
busting.
tress
Now really don't know OF any who'd cali
on me this time Of the day an, it must 70 ro fer
yensIv that the mistress aid not pursue the arsu-
ment any further but answered the bell
I'll. o,ert IN a West Side feed store was called
% the telephone yesterday and took part in this
conversation:
Hello
Yes what is Il"
rs this Bran, Mash Shortveisht?
Yes what's wanted"
Sind around bale ov hay an bag OF oa's
"An right; whom they for?
Don't git funny now. do yez hear7 They're fef
tnT b nor rscelyer al the other end up with
slam
about the meanest thing ever saw at funer-
e1 said an uptown undertaken was at the ser
vices over the body OF the husband of notorious
scold The man had had the reputation Of oeins
the worst henpecked husband in the neishoorhooc
Among the Moral pieces was 6ean'i9 I snrho or
were these words in blue:
Needless to say, the name of the senior was not
attached.
A fourth rate actor out of work. staggered into
a saloon in Broadway. and loudly ordered a dry
Man" meaning Manhattan cocktail extra sec
After drinking he condescended TO say II was not
bad and promptly ordered another.
This he drank to the accompaniment Of free
lunch which might have made three square meals
for A small family and when he was through he
unblushingly told the bartender that he regretted
he had no money. but he would call in and pay the
next time he passed that way
Hold on You can't get out like that young
man." cried the bartender as the actor was stroll
Tie man with the nerve reluctantly returned
and assuming an air OF Indignation. said;
what do you want? You can't have me arrested.
Certainly not. sir" replied the bartender but
won't YOU take a drink on the house,
Two weary men, who for years had earned their
living by the sweat of their pens. stood together
IN Park Row II was early morning. but still dark
and the stars shone with unwonted brnllaney. II
was an hour when the soul scars above mere sordld
considerations and these two jaded scrloes stood
at the corner of tho street. each WAITING d -
seemed for the other break the silence, Trey el
10 PensiYeg they TURNED their eyes toward the clear
and ilIimitable expanse of ethereal sky
What e f5 5nins IS A s s one
quite seems to realize It's fun beauty UNI"
space be hanged rudely Interrupted the other.
And the stars twinkled merrily.
She was an enaciated old negress who had oeen
found In an area, sleeping the sleep which nerci-
fully comes as the last stage Of starvation
Have YOU no friends. relatives. who VIII care
for your" asked the kindly magistrate
There's only George Washington. Hurnhied ms
old crone "Oniy him and de good Lord who watches
tJis eock bv night 'Taint fair ask George. an
de Shepherd amt done gone called in all His black
sheep yet
Better commit her for examination as to her
sanity" unused the magistrate. But wishing to get
further Of the old creatures dsnaen'ed
$50 You knew George Washington. did you.
n'9.tN ay. nay" ehuckled the old colored woman
Use not so old as all dat Lor' bless you; SUI.
de pride of his ole nammy's heart .-s.