The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1905-10-28

caller. Il am sorry" replied the other,
but have made 1t rule never to
lend my auto. Houston Post.
III you can't get along better with
your work will have to get another
GIRL" Sure, mann, an wish thot ye
would-there is enough work here for
two."-Grit.
seEvant-If might make 30 bold az
to suggest, sir Irish Master Qrrt-
tably)-We want none Of your sugges-
lions; We want nothing from you but
silence. and not much of that.
Liilian-Wasn't 1t sweet Of your
husband to send you kiss by wire2
Adele haven't decided yet; I'm sus-
Picious that that telegraph operator
was q woman.-Detroit Free Press.
Grcwell Gin cheap restaurant)- Here,
waiter! Are these mutton or pork
chopsH Waiter-Can't you tell by the
tastoH Growell-No. Waitor-Then
what difference does it make what
they aref-Illustrated Bits.
MIS-. Youngbride-rvec come to COM
plain Of that nOur you sent me. Gro
cvT-What was the matter with itH
Mrs. Youngbride--It was tough. I
made pie with it, and 1t was as much
90 my husband could do to cut it.
'~ThiS," said the city chap, who was
showing his rural relative the town,
''is called the 'tenderloin' district"
"Why il It called thatT' Queried the
rural relative. Because it is so tough, ~
explained the other.-Chicago News.
MauUe-Pa, will our new mamma
80 mad after a while1 Father-What
a question: why do you think such a
thingH Maudie-Well, heard her tell
the cook yesterday that she got badly
bitten when She married you!-SciR'
Sors.
Father-Well, Julia, II allow young
SmithererS to become my son-ln-l0w dc
you suppose he viii be willing to work
and support your Julia-Oh, papa,
how can he when he has promised to
do nothing but think Of me all the
tme2
Mrs. NeuEich-Jane, why do you al
low the children to make SO much
noisef The NurSs-I'm sorry, ma'am
but they won't mind me. Mrs. Neu
rich-Of course not. why should
thsy2 Don't I pay you to mind & "rui
Crit.
Alice rushed in from the garden
where she had been picking flowers
She was badly stung by a bee, ant
was holding on to her finger and sob
bling pit1fully. "Oh. mamma" she
cried, II burned me on a bugy'-BTook
Ign Life.
After the silence had begun to b.
awkward he cleared his throat, and
said; 81 don't think, Miss DimpIO
tOn--' ''Oh, know you don't" Sh,
hastily replied, "but 1t doesn't really
matter. Isn't the moon Just lovely to
nightT-ChicaGo Record-Herald.
4 friend tells Of a recent visit {
Senator made to church with one O
his grandchildren. The little fellow
tried several times to talk, but was al
ways told he could not talk in church
''Then, grandpa" he begged, ''pleas'
take OF my shoes and let me move m!
toas."-LippincottS Magazine.
when you know that man is {
deveteo Of Solf," said the enthusiastic
. golfer, "you can be absolutely certain
Of his mental calibre and be an
sured--" "Oh, come, wouldn't sa.
that" replied the plain man. II dom
doubt that some men play golf VIII
are really quite sensible. "-Philadel
phia Press.
The managing editor wheeled hi
chair around and pushed a button ii
the wall. The person wanted entered
"Here," said the editor, ''are numbe
Of directions from outsiders as to tn
best way to run a newspaper. Sc
that they are ali carried out" An
the once boy, gathering them all int
q large wasts-basket, did so.-Wash
lngton Life.
Good Society on the Farm-Mrs
Waldo (of Boston)-I have a lette
frem your Uncle James, Penelope, VIII
wants me to spend the summer on hi
farm. Penelope (dubiously)-Is ther
any society in the neighborhood7 Mr.
Waldo-I've heard him speak Of th
Relsteins and Guernseys. I presum
they are pleasant people.-Bosto
Christian Register.
Auntts Ito her young niece)-Gues
: what know, Mary-there's q littl
baby brother upstairs! He came thi
merning when you were asleep. Mar
: Did he? Then know who brougb
hint was the milkman. Aunt1s-
What do you mean, Mary7 Mary
Why, looked at the sign on his cal
yesterday, and 1t said Families SUI
: piled daily."-Harper's Weekly.
at am truly sorry, Tommy" said til
. friend Of the family, meeting the nttl
boy In the street, Ito learn that you
! fathers house was burned down ye
terday. Was nothing saved" don
you waste no grief on me-" reptile
Tommy. "All Of pas old clothes wa
burnt up in that fire, and ma can
= make any more of 'em up for me, TIL