davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1905-12-28

say that there is nothing better for
physical exercise. A few men like my.
self have banded together, formed q
small and exclusive club, hired small
hall and are going to skate for eXer-
else. l was speaking to a doctor the
other day about that pain at the base
of my neck, and he said my spine
wanted more exercise"
"And your spine will get it! Mr..
Bowser, let me say something to you
without hurting your feelings"
You are going to say am too fat"
las matter of fact, you are. You
are too fat and too clumsy for any
kind of skating. In addition, nothing
whatever ails the base of your neck. If
you want exercise why don't you run
the lawn mower?"
you know who you are talking to,
do your demanded Mr.. Bowser when
she had finished.
"Of course, and hope you won't be
mad. You are not to blame for being
fat and clumsy, but you should remem-
ber''-
ASSb = WIZ AClhCIlpCl. NOulul, HOW
dare you talk to me in this manner?
Your impudence surpasses all bounds.
BY the seven yOwling cats, but If a
man had said what you have would
have torn him limb from limb"
How foolish to get into temper
over my words"
You insult and abuse me and then
wonder that get mad! Mrs. Bowser,
be careful-be very careful You are
driving very close to the dead line
very closer
"Then you will go to the club?' she
asked after awhile
Il will go to the club. I would go if
the house was on firer'
"And you will try roller skates?''
Il will put on roller skates and float
around the hail. and if l get word
while l am floating that you have
dropped dead of heart disease l shall
continue to float
Very well. i hope you will have a
good time I hope that when you re-
turn home the base of your neck will
be much better When you get home
you will tell me all about it,
Don't attempt to soften up things.
Mrs. Bowser," he growled. "You re.
ferred to me as too fat and too logy.
You also spoke slightingly of the base
of my neck. You may come crawling
on your knees and won't forgive you.
BY John, but how any wife dares to
talk to her husband as you do to me is
more than can understand! Too fat.
Too logy!'
1t was pair of skates he had
brought home, and when he had the
package under his arm and was ready
to go she asked:
What time will you be home, dear?"
II may never be home. Why should
"a too fat and too logy man return to
this house?"
II shall probably be sitting up for
you. You may want bit of luncheon
before you 90 to bed"
IF do I'll stop at some saloon.
Don't blame me, Mrs. Bowser, If one
glass leads to two-three-
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1905-12-28
Douglas.

Grace Cameron Is on the sick list.
Fred and Edna McFaddep spent
Xmas in Atlantic.
Emery Garrotte will spend his
Xmas vacation in Abel.
Monday night was the Gray dance.
People say it was we'll attended.
Mr.. and Mrs. Haskins spent Sun.
day at the Frank GarrOutte home.
Julius Grau is very i'll With the APP
pendicitis but we hope he will recover
soon.
Grace and James Cameron came
home Friday to spend Christmas
with their parents.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1905-12-28
For Sale or Trade.

My property in Poplar, Iowa con-
sisting of two store buildings, three
barns, corn crib, granary, chicken
house, etc. Two acres of land, one
general store, double 38 by 81, post
office in same, rented two years from
January 1st, 1906, one Hardware and
Implement store, 40 by 40, room un-
der store for carload of Implements.
This store can be used at one
Fixtures go with both stores
Will exchange for good land. Price
$500 if sold before February, lst, 1906.
DIS JASPER JENSEN,
Audubon, Iowa.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1905-12-28
DoWser Tries
Roller Skates
Physical Exercise His Object In
Joining the E. R. S. c.,
He Declares.
lNsULTED BY HIS WIFE.
She Rufles His Temper by Calm
Him Names---Proves Himself
Poor Skater.

copyright, 1905. by R. B. McClure.l
Z YHEN Mr.. Bowser came home
IA the other evening he brought
w a parcel under his arm, and
v to Mrs. Bowser's queries he
answered.:
Never you mind just now what it is.
After dinner will tell you all about
it."
There was certain air about him
that made Mrs. Bowser realize that
something was up, but it was no use
to worry over it, as there was no tell.
ing what new idea he had got into his
head. She expressed no curiosity,
rather to his disappointment, and when
the meal had been finished he said:
well, first and foremost, have
joined the q. R. S. c."
And what on earth is that?"
1.-THE Elite Roller Skating club"
''Well, thought it was about time
you did some other foolish thing. You
don't mean to tell me that you are
going to try roller skates?"
'And why not? l know it was fad
once and played out, but the doctors
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1905-12-28

ME of Amea, j. G. swezey and fam
lily of Audubon, Mrs. Otis Emery
and little Merrell of Minnesots, Will
Welsh and wife, Frank Welsh and
Miss Jane Settlemire all partook
of Christmas dinnerat H. B. Shelley's
home.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1905-12-28

Get your neighbors to she'll your
corn, then get good shelter. Nc.
Creary has it. Old Chas. Prohaska
place, r. F. d. No.3. If
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1905-12-28

1ppy New Year to all.

NJ 11ppy New Year to all.
n By crowd in town Xmas night.
zeY Ehlers has been quite poorly
(late.
al 81. Viewer spent Xmas at the Kit
home.
G.. Lancelot spent Saturday and
nday in town. If
DE. Thornburg ate dinner at his
rental home Xmas.
q Miss Bertha Lewis is spending the
at the parental home.
Rev. II. G.. Hicks was in town on
on IMPORTANT BUSINESS.
Gharlie Mclaughlin is home from
Aoines for his holiday vacation.
sHNny Rasmussen of Extra ate
krissmas dinner at the Forsbeck
|Sme.
Many family dinners and happy
8lnes Nmas day in and around
43y.
lies Grace Breckenridge spent
~ Of Xmas with her friend, Clio
IRE.
rof. Albin is spending his holi-
Ri with his parents at Stanton,
a Grs. Ed Fanske of Manning visited
esllay with her aunt, Mrs. H. B.
plleY.
& kiss Olive Bankfort of Templeton
ut Xmas day at the Edison Farr
home.
B. Campbell aud family spent
las at the home of her parents in
dubon.
dr. and Mrs. Farrell and other
ENDS spent Xmas day with their
=, Edison.
Mr.. Mills Greenlee of Wheatland
yoming is here visiting relatives
"a friends.
IL 4
Mrs. Harry Merit spent a few days
"a first Of the week at the Gene
ertz home.
Charles Newell and family spent
Gnday and Monday in the country
18th relatives.
Mr.. and Mrs. Laucelot and Belle
lended the Higgins we'd
ng Xmas day.
Rhonographs are quite the thing
EGray nowadays, Mr.. Mundt having
lew one, also Merit.
EEhe Misses Wicker are spending
III holidays with their grandparents,
W. Nedrow and wife.
Barger and wife spent two
three days the first of the week in
mining with relatives.
THE little folks of the lower rooms
Eschool had nice Xmas program
Tee and treat Friday afternoon.
will johnson of near Ross came
$me home from Grand Junction to
end Christmas with his parents.
There will be watch meeting at
he Eden Valley church New Years
ke to be followed by a series of
lettings.
Miss Mae Campbell came home
rom Cedar Falls, Estella Hepp from
and Maylon Hepp
rom Ackley.
Mrs. Beauford and daughters, of
)es Moines are spending their vaca-
ion with her sister, Miss Jessie
tough at the Wayside Inn.
Louis Groteluschen had the mis-
ortune to have his carriage torn to
ieces just as they were about to
tart to Audubon last Saturday. No
ne hurt.
hrs. Nora Coy and daughter Win.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1905-12-28

CARROLL cures all kinds of Sore Throat
Quinsy, Hoarseness. Tonsilitis. Simply {
gargle. 25 cents. j. F. Berry.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1905-12-28
Greeley

ivan, Jay, Harold, Jack or Belle ~
Echo, Belle"
Tom Adair sold three loads of fine
spring shoats in Extra Wednesday,
Mr. and Mrs James Blake were enter
tanned in the S. S. Berry home Sunday
Mrs. S. S. Berry and son Charley spent
pleasant Christmas at the Sol Leighty
home.
An excellent Christmas program was
rendered at Bowman Chapel Sunday
morning.
Frank Duvall is building new cattle
shed to shield his cattle from the hot
December sun.
So provokingly persistent is Grandpa
Egan's indisposition as to create consid-
cradle anxiety
We are glad to be able to report that
the doctors give hopes that little Ralph
Moore's eye can be saved.
VIM. Bell contemplated having sale
in December has postponed the matter
until sometime in January.
Thos. Adair is spending recreative
fortnight in the vicinity of Oskaloosa
with old friends and relatives.
Mr.. and Mrs Chas Wilson passed a
merry Christmas day in the home of
their son George, near Nelson.
We ate some Devil Food cake for, din
ner Christmas day, consequently we
have been raising--ever since.
i
James Egan left for Harlan Monday
to be present at the last, sad services
over the remains of a departed friend
Lou and Vic Anciaux are spending the
holidays in johnson County where they
will participate in a happy family re-
union.
James Blake butchered beef We'd
nesday. VIM. Rucker who possesses
professional skill along that line was the
helper.
The Union Baptist people courteously
Cancelled services Sunday morning in Or
der to favor the Bowman Chapel Christ
mas exercises.
Bill Benton unprecedented Santa Claus
at the Union Baptist Christmas tree
Old Santa was no doubt well pleased
Wltn ms aDle proxy.
There was a joyful gathering at the
Frew Hays home Christmas day Tur
hey, we presume, was in appetiZing
prominence on the bill-of-fare
DIR. Childs, of Audubon, was summon
ed to the Grandpa Egan home Sunday.
and prescribed course of treatment
that has put Grandpa in a convalescent
condition.
The most valuable fruits of the Union
Baptist Christmas tree were a purse of
$500 to Rev. Chas Sloan and an elegant
willow rocker to Mrs. Frew Hays. The
program was exceedingly entertaining
and deftly rendered.
| All of the blacksmithing parapherna-
liza visible in the silent village of Nelson
is beng sold at public auction. This re-
moves the last lingering evidence that a
town ever existed there Nelson died
hard, but she is dead.
We later hear that change for the
worse in Grandpa Egan's condition i'm
posed the sacred duty of summoning
Father Mcdonald from Audubon Mon
day night. AT this writing, however,
conditions are more encouraging.
NOTICE
The trustees of Greeley township will
meet in the Center school house January
6, 1906, at 200 p. M, for the purpose OF
letting out the road work of said town
ship for the year 1906. 1t will be let to
the lowest responsible bidder The board
reserves the right to reject any and all
bids. FRED REYNOLDS,
| il Township Clerk.
Christmas Spirit.
| A lovely Christmas day has come and
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1905-12-28
Christmas Spirit.

A lovely Christmas day has come and
gone,
And left little present in my hand.
Not much, but when | look upon it
there
My heart goes firmer to it's vital task
Soliloquizing then, disagree
With him who said that life is but a
dream,
For here is something more than that
which fits
In vapory visions through a sickly
sleep.
Like when the laughing sea filings on
the shore
A tiny shell at the dictates of God
Yule tide has laid this trinlSet in my
hand
AT the command of true friendship
and love
God speed the time when life will be
One sweet unbroken Christmas Day,
And all our cares will disappear
Before the Sunrise of good cheer
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1905-01-07
INVITATION is A M
Years Ago a IBID" to White louise
Function Could Be Declined
But Not So Now.

An invitation to the white
house, says Ainslee's, 20 years ago
would have been regarded as one
to be accepted or declined to suit
the convenience of the person in
vited. 1t is today regarded in the
light of a royal command" IA
against it no other engagement is
permitted to stand. And it is not
merely confined to invitations 10
sued directly by the president.
An attempt is now being made TO
extend the rule so as to include
members of the presidents fam
lily. We have reached the point,
indeed, where a debutante about
to give a dinner to other debu-
tantes of the season, having issued
invitations to it some four weeks
ahead, absented herself from the
dinner at her mothers direction
and went to the white house be-
cause the day before she had been
asked over. the telephone, by the
presidents daughter, to join a the
alter party.
To some of us who have seen the
mOnarchs Of the old world invite
themselves to the houses of thelU
subjects, it seems odd that Wash
ingtOn etiquette cOmpels the preS.
ident to visit no other house en-
cept it be that Of one Of the mem-
bers Of his official family-in 9TH
er words, the cabinet.
We have, at receptions at the
white house, a behind the line"-
a space reserved for favored
guests in the room where The pres.
ident shakes hands with those in
vited II from which vantage
ground the passing throng is scru-
tinized by those within the tres.
ervation," and we reach the cli-
max when the president, at the
close Of the reception, leads the
"receiving party to rooms above,
where a supper is served, leaving
the other guests to find their waH
home, hungry and thirsty, e. bsaa
they may.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1905-01-07
Who are Protected

Mr.. Edward Atkinson Las been fig.
uring or the tariff question, and ha.
giventhe result IN the Quarterly Jour.
nal of Economics, His conclusions
are Interesting, and be gives tariff data
to justify them.
10 1901 there were 2~ssO74,lI7 per.
sons engaged IN gaintnl pursuits in the
United States. OF these, according to
Mr.. Atkinson, there are 26,O77, 1922
Who are net subject TO foreign com
petition and not affected by The tariff
except that they pay enhanced prices
caused by protection. There is q sec.
ond class not subject to foreign eo1i.
petition, but WHOSE industries Npnld
b promoted by the removal OF duties,
and these number 2, 396, 295 OF
those who might be dlsaslrously affect
ed by the removal OF oil duties what.
ever there are 500, 900. OF these
some 200, 900 are engaged ID agricul.
tural pursuits, and yet q majority Of
she farmers In the country ara some.
how made to believe that their pros
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1905-01-07
CarIyIe's Sarcasms.

Carlyle's OPINION Of Herbert S.pene-
er as 1.-the most uDendlng ass 10 Christ.
eudou" nut, Of course, be read ia
conjunction with Carlylc's derlslou Of
mankind IN general. mostly fools, ~
be cbeerfully thought OF us all. Oar.
win, we know, he would not have. at
at any price-uot a word OF him.
Cardinal Newman, he estimated had
"the BRAN of a medium sized rabbit -
Ruskin was a bottle of soda water.
ga Tad young man. was his sum.up
OF another eminent writer, whom we
need not name, for be is still living.
But these hostile phrases were subject
to considerable notifications IL the
man against whom they we're aimed
came near enough Carlyle to do hlm a
personal favor, ever to pay him a
personal compliment. DiAaelI, whom
he bad described as a mountebsnk,
dancing upon John Bulls stomach,
off cred Carlyle a baronetcy, and elicit.
tied from bin, together with a refusal
0fthe title, many tributes to his mag
uanimity. He said very little about
Dlsraeli hencetOrth in print. and in
private bespoke of him oniy as "a
very tragieGl comical fellow Hes
psrian,
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1905-01-07
Real Estate Transfers.
Thursday, December %

JEFF d Barnett, Ell al to George
Wakeman, cons. Grafton, $3.50; q
acres.
JEFF D Barnett, ct al to Gen Wake,
man, consideration, $3.50; so acres.
Guy Bellies TO ,Tsn,cs II Enugarre-,
consideration, 500; 4 INT lot in
Odessa.
Belle Bellies to james H Bumgsroer,
consideration, 500; 4 int lot in
Odessa.
Thomas, Mary and H L Bellies, BY
guardian, to James H Buwgarner,
consideration, SIS; q In lot in Odessa.
Charles A Eagsn 10 VIM H Chiles,
consideration, 5000; 40 acres.
Joseph S Fleming to Mary j
MurreIl, consideration, s4OO; 40 acres.
Lewis Gray to F W Haas, considera.
ton, $40, 7lO; $50 acres.
M M Galbert to Chss A Eagan. con.
%sideration, $1,000; 40 acres.
Thos L Landrum 10 j G Goodwin,
consideration, 81, 200; 2 lots IN
WAverly.
Friday, December %
Dan VI Costello to Mary O'Mailey,
consideration 81; 2 lots 10. Lexington
Nath J Gordon to Matte NJ NowliD,
consideration, 1925; 2 lots in Waverly
Andrew O'Malley to Daniel M
Costello, consideration, 81; . lots 10
Lexington.
Saturday, December "a, 1904.
Alonzo Crews to Geo A and Ruth A
Wade, consideration, 81, 800; 40 acres.
ChAs W Hill by Tr, to Moses Arson
Jr, consideration, s416; 6 lots in
Au.lville.
Ed NJ Primer to james NJ Shelton,
consideration, $500; 5 $500 ard 5
lots IN Lexington.
Caroline. Uphous ct al to Herman
W Tagtmeyer, consideration, $50;
lot in 4, As, "a,
Geo A Wade to AlonzO Crews, con-
s~ideration, 81, 800; |, 4S, 2S.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1905-01-07
New College Song.

Some weeks since, We noted a state.
ment IN the morning papers that in The
UniversiIg of Chicago the Doxology
and other religious songs at the assem-.
bly, meeting OF the university has been
supplanted by college songs. We
made no N At lhe time, be.
Cause II is difficult for Us TO take any.
thing seriously which President Bar.
per says or does in the matter of re.
ligious education. Bot our friend, T.
S. Buckingham, sends US the accom-
panyiDg a note from the Courier.Jour
nal of December 8, which we venture
to print without comment:
"The University of Chicago has Abol.
ished the DoxOlogy, and college songs
are to take its place. Perhaps some
thing like this would prove acceptable.
Praise John from whom all dollars
come
To make our Alma Mater hun!
Praise Rockf, Hers mammoth spoil,
Praise Ooundless greed and Standard
Uilrt
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1905-01-07

John Meierer, Of Glenwood Springs,
Colorado, who is visiting his mother
here, went to Kansas City Wednesday
morning.
Miss Martha Crenshaw and Mr..
Jesse CreDshaw went to Kansas CITY
Thursday evening for a short visit.
Charles F. Kinkead, our sheriff,
went to HiRginsvllle Friday morning
on matters pertaining to his office.
James W. Hays left for st, Louis
Friday morning to attend to some
business.
Capt. Ryland Iodhunter went to
Higginsville Friday morning.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1905-01-07

perity s wholly dependent upon the
existence OF a protective tariff.
AS nobody proposes to dispense
with all the duties at once. it i. not at
all apparent that Y t~wo-thirds OF u
million Of people out OF more than 20
millions would be 10 the least hurt b,
a reduction Of a reduction OF the tsriff
70 a revenue basis. In other words.
the present high level of tariff rates
Is maintained by a gigantic confidence
game of which the majority of the
people are TIE Unconscious victims. 1t
is now up to the miDions of monopoly
to do some figuring.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1905-01-07
Dates Of 1905 Meetings.

The representatives, OF the Missouri
Grand Circuit met 10 Sedalia, Mo-,
January 4th, pursuant to call Of Sec
Rotary j. R. Rippey, and arranged
dates and purses for the 1905 meet
ing. The following are the members
and dates of meetings in 1905;
Week Of June 5, Rogers, Arkansas,
(known as "The Arkansas State
Fair;'O week Of June u, Cbanute,
Kansas; week of June 10, Parsons,
Kansas; week Of June, 20, Nevada,
Missouri; week of July 8, Joplin,
Missouri; week Of July 10, Rich Hill,
Missouri; week Of July II, Moberly,
Missouri; week Of July "a, Columbia,
Missouri; week of July 81, Higgins
vile, Missouri; week of August 7,
Harrisonville, Missouri, week Of
August IA, Holden, Missouri; week
of August 81, Sedalla, Missouri, (Mis.
souri, State FairD week Of August
%, Warrensburg, Missouri; week OF
September A., Carthage. Missouri:
week of September IL, Springfield,
Missouri; week Of September lS,
Pittsburg, Kansas.
The classes and purses, similar at
all places are:
/. 2:35 class trot, 81, 900. 2. 2:2S
class trot, $500 3 2:23 class trot.
$500. 4. 2;lS class trot, $500. 5, 2:l4
class trot $500; 6. 2;35 class pace.
81, 900. I. 2:25 class pace, $500; s, 2:2C
class pace. 81, 900; 8 2;l6 class pace
$500 10. 2:IO class pace, $500
IL Three year old aud under trot.
$500. u Three year old and undeI
pace, $500.
Entries to first four meetings clost
June lst.: Second Block of -Four closC
June 18th: Third Block of FouI
Qucluding HigglDsville) July 18th
Fourth Block August 18th.
VIM. Steele Of Holden, Mo, wa
elected Circuit President for thu
ensuing year, and ] R. RippeY o
Sedalia Mo reelected Circui
Secretary. The Executive Commute,
Is composed Of VIM. Steele, j. r
Rippey, w. L. Clark Of Nevada, Mo.
B. E. Hatton Of Columbia, Mo, ant
G. a Keith of Higginsville, Mo.
This circuit is now the seconC
largest in amount Of purses Offered
for harness races 10 the United States
being exceeded only by 1.-THE Gran;
Circuit" in the east.
All members in the Circuit las
year retain their membership, an,
four new members we're added, viz
Rogers Ark. Chanute, Kansas Spring
field, Mo-, and Pittsburg, Kansas
Several other tracks we're representet
at the meeting, viz. TT. Scott Kan
sas, Centralia Mo-, Bowling Greer
Mo-, and ChillIcothe Mo, desirinl
membership in the Circuit, but coul,
not be admitted as the Circuit as nov
constituted consumed practically al
the racing season.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1905-01-07

than This Invocation to 20 vest wbese
pioneering is nov no longer roughing
II and where there are chances for
everybody. Other features OF this num-
Der include 1.-THE Rodeo at PInsl, {"
a study of life on a cattle range in
Arizona by Dane Coolidge; "Another
Treasure Islsnd," a description OF
Santa Barbara channel Islands OF
which httle is known, by Heatherwick
Kuk; and ''ChIna, the New West, 81
by Frederic w. Unger.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1905-01-07
City Macadam.
j. A. RIcKART,
l.. S. Correspondent

Slty
be Independence Sentinel has this
about the Kansas City agitation
le mAcadan question;
The use Of macadam for street
faving In cities has been recently dis.
anssed with new interest, especially in
ansas City. Independence has had
lhls sort Of paving for years on some
its best streets. Within the last
hree or four years some additional
Nork Of this kind has been done. It
not to be inferred from this that
acadam is entirely satisfactory. Its
ppularity is found in its cheapness.
la somewhat popular on this &C
Dunt.
'The one great objection to maca.
an is the dust arising from the road
BY in tho dry hot summer times
Ehe shrubbery and the houses along
e streets paved with macadam are
Ten coated with white dust which is
fine that it penetrates the dwellings.
ibis difficulty can be obviated by
rinkllpg the streets. This adds
realty to the cost, but there is no
Ilher way to figure out a salts factory
Yea Of maoadam In cities. OF course
adam In the rural regions is not
Fable With the dust fault. The
carries the dust over the fields
dof into houses.
insas City is now examining the
ards and other rock highways
- country round about with a
FieW Of a more extended use OF mac
dan for street paving within the limit
the city. Kansas City is finding
aphalt too expensive and brick is
af popular. independence has sever
atreCbes Of brick paving but while
ls Is a cleanly and substantial paw
i is exceedingly noisy"