Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-02-04
Wanted 60 See ,the Wheels.

SredL wealth..
Wanted TO See the Wheels.
Another blizzard Gag with destructive
streak in his system got his eye on some or
those realistic mechanical bugs that the It'll
street fakirs are exhibiting in such great
numbers this year. He stood and studied
the gyrations Of, one Of the bugs for some
time before he Invaded the faki,''s exhibit
ton ring on the pavement and then picked
one of the large green things up.
finish ish all ri','' he said. studying the
mechanical toy with obviously acute inter
est. How'sh it done? Letsh shee inshde
want shee worksh" and he twisted the
mechanical bug apart with his hands, re-
vealing a number of simply arranged
wheels and springs "Wunnerful amt 1t?
Triumph o. applied shience, thash what L
call It, Chievement o. Merican inventive
gen1ush. Puzziing, though. LetSh shee
how 'nozzer one worksh," and then he pro-
ceeded to tear seven of the bugs apart be-
fore he appeared to be satisfied that he
had fully mastered the mechanical dif1cul-
ties and intricacies Of their construction.
Then he paid for them from large bundle
and wabbled OF, muttering:
Funny how feller'sh learnin' shumshin'
all TIL time, hey?"
Along toward nightfall a colored youth
stood waiting for customers for a pair of
tiny brindie bull pups, at the corner of 14th
street and Pennsylvania avenue. mid
die-aged man, clad in a heavy frieze ulster
with astrakhan collar and cuffs. got his
eye on the pups as he made the best of his
somewhat doubtful way toward the west,
ana ne stood and gazed at the pups from
beneath the brim of his somewhat ruffied
silk hat for some time before he lurched
over to the colored youth.
Better Than One Dog.
SHAY" he said to the colored youth, "are
zhay tn real shing-Pomeranian shpitzesh?"
Desc heah is registuhd brindled bulls,
sub" replied the colored youth.
We'll, whash differenshe what Ebay are?'
inquired the elderly man with the blizzard
jag. Whash differenshe 'sh long as
they're dog'sh? Dog a dog. More dog
he ish, better he ish. Want dog m'she'f
Want two dogsh. F there'sh anythin' bet
tern dog, ish two dogsh. Been wantin
two dogsh FIR long while. NJ wife won't
have dogsh 'roup housh' Gotta have em
aroun housh now Want dogsh M shelf.
How mush FIR bunsh?'
Ten dolluhs FIR tn two of 'em, suh,' re-
Piled the colored youth
well, josh wrap 'em up an give me EN-
mean shay L ii take EN- long. Love dogsh,
anyhow. May have t move out o m housh,
but m goin' t keep thesh two dogsh. I'll
eeZher keep 'em or shue FIR sheparation.
Nobody can keep me way from dogsh when
l want dogsh-not mush."
He pulled out healthy looking roll, strip
ped ten-dolar bill therefrom, handed it to
the colored youth, put one of the tiny brin-
die pups in each of his two huge ulster
pockets Gin which they looked coy enough,
with their little heads and paws sticking
ouD and boarded uptown yellow car,
looking proud of his canine acquisitions.
One afternoon this week It blizzard jag"
whose talk indicated that he yearned to be
ba-ad and wicked, but who looked too
innocuous and good-natured for the part,
was declaring himself at the corner of 10th
and T streets.
Meaner Than the Weather.
'"Trouble wish me, '''he was saying to him.
self as he stood on the corner, caring not
whit for the bitter whistling wind. fish
that I'm bad. I'm mean. Tin hully ter
ror. N thash no lie. I'm a catamount, an
I eat shnakesh liversh FIR breakfast ev'ry
mornin' o my life. I'm mean 'nough t. rob
me own trunk. An I'm a-huntn' FIR trouble
an a hull lot of it. Want fght-thash what
1 want; fight! Want t. mark few people
up. I'm mean 'nough t hit hull lot O. lit
tie men might, but I want big onesh t
schrap with right now-want t;rbeat lot O.
bricklayersh t death-thash me, right now!
Wowee! but I'm bad an mean! I'm meaner
than the weather, an thash sayin' helluva
lott Yoweei but I'm
Just then a big. broad-shouldered police
man, who had been standing only little
distance away%frorn the man who only
thought he wass-bad, tapped him on the
shoulder. =
Hey, BILL said the cop, good-naturedly,
give yourself a show You amt bad
That's pipe-trance of yours about being
bad and wanting trouble and woe and
things. What you wants snooze, hey?
Am right?"
The self-announced mean man turned
around and smiled agreeably at the cop.
Didn't shay anythin' bout wantin t. kill
few cops, did L. Mishter Major Sylvesh-
ter?" he i-quired, amiably Don't blieve 1
could do 1t, t that. Maybe I amt sho
badsh / think l am. Bet four dollarsh I'd
hike FIR tn tall cactush If a one-armed man
nd spank me on tn wrist. I'm bluff,
thash what 1 ambush bluff, Come on
an have a ball.
The cop agreeably declined the invitation,
and the man who had tried to cajole him
self into the belief that he was a terror got
on a westbound green car after three of
them had passed his corner without picking
him up.