The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-03-18
A Matter OF Clothes

platnest clothes. When ne was a young
lieutenant he had been noticeable for
always dressing when In mutt In the
most fashionable attire. But suddenly
there had come change. His hne
clothes were replaced by those OF the
most oriina3sSype. and from that time
forward he never again dressed as a
swell"
One evening when a number Of re
tired officers at the Army and Navy
club were sitting together one Of them
who had known him all his life re-
marked on the splendor Of his former
apparel and the sudden change. where
upon Browning told the following
story;
Some forty years ago gentleman
stepped into a dance house at point
on the upper Missouri river where wag.
ons started for the interior, The gen
tleman could not have been more inap'
propriately dressed II he had attended
an Inauguration bali in woolen shirt,
with his trousers tucked into his boots,
II was case Of vice versa. The peo'
pie In the dance house were team
sters, gamblers, thieves, cutthroats; the
women, the lowest of the lowest class.
The gentleman went among them dress
ell In the height OF fashion. True, he
wore what are called business clothes,
but from their cut and texture among
the costumes in the dance house they
were as noticeable Rs II he had been
got up to represent ralah of India.
The gentleman stood looking on at
the motley crowd dancing about TO the
music OF scraped fiddle, and, being
nearsighted, slipped a pair Of plnce nez
glasses before his eyes In order the
better 10 take in the novel sight He
had never before seen men dancing
with their hats on nor men and women
pausing to walk up to the bar to have
drink together And 1t Is question.
able II the dancers ever saw such a
swell looking young fellow In sky
blue cravat spangled with white dots
looking at them through pair OF
eyeglasses without the slightest at
tempt to conceal his interest In their
dress, manners and customs.
Very soon he was made aware Of the
fact that the people he considered so
curious had feelings as well as him
self, though not as delicate methods Of
showing them. There were cries OF
"Bloke.' "Tenderfoot" "Dudeg' and
such like appellations, and presently the
gentleman became aware that they
were applied to him. He was about to
turn and leave when man stepped
up to him and, showing revolver under
his nose, said:
Stranger, we consider ourselves wo'th
a drink all round"
By this time the gentleman remem-
bered that he had heard OF such people
as these and when they made a request
Of man in their power it must be
obeyed.
"All right" he said. Step upv'
The man who had made the request
shouted that the stranger would set up
the drinks, and every one present drank.
The stranger Joined, realizing that II
he did not he would very likely never
drink again. Then he paid the price,
which used up twenty dollar bill, and
was about to depart when the man who
had forced the invitation said to him:
Now you"-here followed language
not to be repeated-"git"
The gentleman had not been unwill-
ing to pay for the show he had enjoyed,
though under compulslon, but at this
point he demurred. Nevertheless he
bowed politely to the man and remark
ed that he was sorry to have intruded.
Then he departed, walking brlskly
down to the river bank, where be found
boat tied up, on which were some
twenty recruits for the ---th United
States infantry stationed at Fort --.
They and the gentleman had arrived
only couple of hours before and were
to proceed in the morning to the fort.
Sergeant" said the gentleman, get
your men ashore and follow me-"
The order was obeyed, and In few
minutes the men with arms at right
shoulder were marching up the road
way-it couldn't be called a street
the gentleman leading the way, When
they reached the dance house they filed
In and were drawn up in line before the
only door. The gentleman then brought
them to an "aim" and remarked to the
assembly:
EVERY man on his head"
One or two who saw blood In his
eye obeyed instantly, but 1t was some
minutes before all followed.
Turn somersaults."
Every man obeyed the order. Then
the gentleman directed the man who
had insulted him to get up on a table
and dance. When the sport became
tiresome the manager Of the show turn
ed the men over to the sergeant and
ordered him to march them back to the
boat.