The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-02-18

~6N'N eP Win u.s. OukcfS cldLeS- !
man.
He-Has he a college education? |
She--Oh, yes; he plays football, golf,
and he's crackajack at tennis.-Yon-
kers Statesman.
Gerald-Mamma, can you change 10
cents for me? Mother-How do you
wish it changed, dearf Gerald-Into
a quarterback.
What irritates a man more than
to see woman get Off the car back
ward?" Give it up" Nothing
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Think twice before you speak. And
even then, nine times out OF ten, the
world won't lose anything If you keep
still.-Somerville Journal.
How did the wedding come off last
night" without a hitch" "Glad to
hear It." L said without hitch. The
bride backed out at the last minute."-
Omaha News.
Minnie-I must be losing my good
looks. Harry-Why7 Minnie-I sold
only twelve tickets for the charity raf-
fe, against twenty-one last year.-Chi-
cago Daily News.
ITO what account shall we charge
these new battleships?" asked the Rus
sian treasury official. "The sinking
fund" answered his superior, YEARLY.
Washington Star.
why do you keep two automo-
biles" Il use the second one to bring
along the things I'm likely to need in
keeping the first one in running Or
der. Chicago Record-Herald.
Have no fear" said the sheriff to
the negro prisoner; you will be hung
according to law" THANK de Lawdr'
exclaimed the prisoner, 81 is ter die a
nat'ral deathw-Atlanta Constitution.
Father (who has been asked for his
daughters hand)-Louise, do you know
what a solemn thing it is to be mar
ried? Louise-Oh, yes, pa, but it is
a good deal more solemn being single
Judy.
Artist lat work)-Now, give me your
honest opinion Of this picture. Visitor
(who fancies himself a critic)-Its ut
terly worthlessl Artist (dreamilyl-
Y-e-e-s-but give it all the SANCTION
don Punch.
Giffie-Did you ever actually know
Of a man making a mountain out of
molehill? Spinks-Well, the proprie
tor Of the hotel l stopped at last sum
mer came very near doing it in hi
prospectus.-Puck-
do you love your teacher, Wen
dell?' ut is scarcely to be expected,
answered the little Boston boy, "tha
one can love ones teacher, but l have
| trust, the requisite feeling Of toler
ance for her"-Chicago Tribune.
"Ahp said Mr.. Borem, sitting wit
her in a secluded bower near til
moonlit lake. isn't it delightful to b
out here alone?" Eyes, was enjoyin
it so before you came" she replied
promptly.-Philadelphia Ledger.
That's Mrs. Marrimuch, our soc
ETY. leader" explained the man VIII
knew. "Myl you don't say?" reptile
the plebeian; she's in half mourning
isn't sheT Eyes. You see. three G
her six husbands are dead."-Ex.
Doctor-You owe me a bill of So
Slowpay-well, IL had job migf
pay you. Can't you give me a job
Doctor-What kind Of a job could
give you? slowpay-Well, you migt
! give me the job Of collecting the bill
Puck.
Two little maids Of four and 81
years, respectively. were seated on
stool. Presently the elder of the tv
said. renectively: Don't you thin
that IL one Of us was to get up the
, would be more room for meF-Cf
r cago Record-Herald-
= Now, DEAR" said Mr.. Polxley, wi
E had Just been accepted. when shall
sneak to your fatherT "You needr
: bother" replied the dear girl. Il
q said he'd speak to you tomorrow
}. YOU didn't speak to me tonight"
a Philadelphia Public Ledger.
T "What is a counter-irritant?" ask
Mrs. Smithers. "A counter-irritani
replied Smithers, lis a woman W
makes the shopman pull down ever
; thing from the shelves for TWO hou
+ and then buys a penny-worth Of ha
$ pins. "-washington Mirror.
Mrs. Schoppen-I want five poun
of sugar, please. Grocer-Yes'm; al
v thing else? Mrs. Schoppen-No, tina
" all. I'll take it with me If it isn't
" heavy a package. Grocer-Ohl i
only weigh three or four poun
ma'am.-Philadelp Press.
THAT'S the best l can do for yo'
said the theatrical manager. you
been idle all season so far; now, v
Won stay idle the rest Of the season,
take this small partT IN take
replied the comedian; 'in this case
small role is better than a whole loa
Philadelphia Ledger.
"By jinksv' said the man who ke'
track of things theatrical, Il wo
like to see one prima donna who
sing as well as her press agent 81
she can" IF she could" says the
who also keeps track Of the way thi
go. "her press agent would say
4. h,t