Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-12-09
Yuletide is a Profitable Sea-
son for Grafters.
EVERYONE rs A MARK
A FEW TRICKS OF THE PROBES
SIGNAL HARD-LUCK MAN.
Prosperous-Looking individuals Give
Up Easiest-How to Get the Coin
From Women Shoppers.

This charter member Of the Panhandlers'
Union OF the District of Columbia, No. 1.
was In the enjoyment of his evening of re-
taxation and ioquacity in the hang-out near
Missouri avenue, where the malt fiagons
are high hats and the hard booze measures
are short-handled dippers.
THE ripe doin's of tn glad Yuletide sea-
son Is at hand" observed the relaxed pam
handler, IAN from now on till Sanity Claus
night We won't have to do no worryin'
Everybody's q mark an a fall guy 'roun'
tn Crismuss season, an we on'y have t
walk 'roun' an reach out an git 1t.
LIT OF Wash'n'n Amt so bad. I amt
sayin' that the macin' gag is jes' what it
| ust t be here. but It's still wort tn
| while O. TIL mug that's mex t tn best
way t dodge tn rough-necks Wit tn tin
shields, an that understands how t. read
character. Thems tn two main wires:
Side-steppin TIL cops that's piped youse,
an KNOWN how t size up tn maps OF
tn right kind o. marks t brace
Nh first thing for a panhandler that
expec's t have tn price of all tn suds
he kin hanl wen he knocks off jooty IS
t keep from gittin tn bun on while he s
workin'. This is hard, but It's got t. be
done by a mug that expecs t make q
success O. panhandlin'. TIL souse kin be
postponed till tn sun goes down, an it'll
Jes' gaze at tn fun I'm havin' wit meself
now. fer instance" and the relaxed pan
handler staked himself to another dpper-
full Of the fine old mellow Bourbon" as
the placard on the barrel stated 1t to be-
inserting 1t into his system without the
use of water or any other ameliorating
fluid as a chaser, and with every evidence
of extreme relish
Yep" he went on that's tn number
one thing fer tn macer that RELY wants t
succeed-t' hold off on his package till his
works been done an all tn duff's been
picked up on tn route. Ysee, a lot O
that looks like he wants t lean ag' in a
lamp post awnin pole. / don't know
wy they should objec', but a lot of EN- do,
as l say.
Braces the Big Ones.
different panhandlers has got different
idees about tn kin O. people that's the bes'
producers. FIR mine, I allus make it a
pint t. brace tn big stifts. TIL little
terriers amt diggers, gen'ally. TIL little
dub nearly allus wheels on TIL panhandler
an calls him a bum an gifts tn tight
clutch on his cane, an sweils out his
tirty-two inch chest an truns back his
head { n ries mako hisself loot Xix
jim Jeffres a-crouchin'. 1t don't make no
difference what kin Of a ditty or hoochy-
kooch tn panhandler gives tn little man
in tn way of a spiel, it's allus, or nearly
allus, tn same. He gifts chased.
Tn Dig SUITS Hllle, says l. All III
sweller dressers they are TIL better.
allus picks out swinger that pounds along
as if he owns ey'ry brick in tn pavement
an that's got a swagger on like man-o'-
wars man at the beginndn' of souse
Y'kin alus know that a fair-hatred boy
like this has got tn change right there In
TIL little side pocket, an that he Hkes
be told. even by panhandler' what
blaZin' hot rag he is.
'.Youse looks tn part says I, that kin
afford half q rninutt's time t lis'n t tn
appeal o distress O. a poor guy that's on
tn rocks an then 1 jes' rubber at him out
O. TIL tail O. me eye t see how that goes.
''If he walks right on. sayin' 'Skidoo or
sTwenty-t'ree fir you,' l fall in one step
benin him, an hurl him that little one
bout my onct bein' able to flash tn same
kin of swellerino togs that he's sportin'.
That often nails EN-. They preten they're
not listenin', but they genial are. an, then
all y'got { do is t. keep up that line o
talk chuckin' in one or two about benev'-
lent countenances an prosperous, charit-
able looks an that kin, an, nine times
out O. ten, you'll presently see his right
mitt maxim FIR tn change hole IN his coat.
''W'He he's cropping for the piece Of sill
ver y'want t. let one out bout his not
lookin as If he ever had a days bum luck
in his life, an then he'll come back:
Don't y't'ink that FIR a holy minnit
s'I don't know wy It is that ev'ry guy In
TIL swell push, wether he was born wit
a gilt fork in his chops or not, an dat was
never hungry or firstly mlnnlt IN ms nun
life, like t. make hfsself an others tlnk
that he's had q big heap o hard luck In tn
course o. his career. wy, I've been up
sg'in TIL game harder'n you ever dreamed
of such a bloke will say, an then, as ne
Goggles tn metal in his little kick an
fishes FIR tn piece he's goin t cough II s
IN + youse t. butt right in an say:
Wen, y'don't look it, an y'must ha'
made a win-out' tn big easy one wit tn
glad rags on says an then IN com Jes
as good as tucked away in y'r jeans
When the Truth Brings Results.
.sRut they's other kin's O big stifts. II,
fp instance. wen v brace tn big dub wit
tn eighty-dolIar blanket, he hans youse tn
merry twinkle out O. his windows an tells
v that he needs all tn drink coin he kin
earn FIR his own low appetites, then it's tn
cue t. push him TIL frank spiel
~ see y'r mex, Cap says 1, an youse
Is tn kin of man that kin sympathize
wit a duck that's cold inside an out an
that amt had tn price O. one o. tn warm
ers FIR two days-nots of course, that youse
was ever in that bad fix says /.
Wasn't, hey? says TIL mark at that.
an he gets t. thinkin. as he plods along
an me right benin him, bout tn times
Wen he's been stuck in a prohibition town
out In Iowa, or somewheres, were he
couldn't nail ball, an in nine cases out o.
ten he skates t. tn center wit tn price.
i've had marks like that say, in slippin'
o. youse buyin' food wit that, or dom any
thin else Wit it 'ceptin' gfttin' much
red-eye as tn coins good FIR, I'll have youse
pinched FIR a Yag.
But couple weeks ago, l got 1t on tn
conk wit one o. them easy-lookin' big geez-
ers He was swingin' long TIL avnoo. long
bout tn time FIR me { knock off, on'y
woiks till dark-an', as he had one O. them
chesty, good-natured buns en-, says t.
meself, That one ought t stan fr two
bits at tn leas'. ! slips him tn fim-fan
bout me need @ jes' one t make me tink
that life,s wort Twin. an he stops an
hans me such a pleasant grin that it looks
tine like kale in tn kick
$50 youse needs one pretty bad, hey
chum?' says tn big stiff, jammin' his rnitt
into tn side pocket o. his paddock coat.
Never Bladder since tn day O. me birth,
says /, an IL looked so easy that hoped
he'd made ii four bits.
Think it 'ud help younse lot, Ell, pair
says tn toppy guy wit tn mellow ounsky
on pullin out hull hanful o tn bright
two an four-bit pieces an runnin' EN- over
wit his eye.
Help me Immense, says l.
Z" Me poor uufort'nit frien says he,
then, sud- My euttin' out his grin an put
tin, on tn undertaken map, yours is a sad,
sad story. an tn bowl, / fear me, has been
tn room o. youse. Here, take this. an
read it carefully. an yu never feel like
takin' another drink as long as y'live.'