Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1905-12-09

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| But the best thing is-you're livin'.
With a chance to hol' yer groun.
An thank the Lord from spring to fall.
| That you don't own the earth an all.
Atlanta Constitution.
| "A woman has no sense of humOr,
they say" said Miss Hattie Williams.
coincidence, "but this has always
struck me as being the best story | ever
| heard:
| mike McCarty and Jacob Schmidt
were fishing from pier one day, and
| finally one Of them bet the ether $40
| that he would catch the first fish. The
other took the bet. and the two kept on
fishing earnestly until noon.
1T was warm day, and Schmidt
overcome by the heat, fell overheard
into the water. This aroused McCarty,
| " no also was doing.
| eff you're going to dive for thin,
the bets off he said to his companion
struggling in the water. Chicago
| Chronicle.
THAT is a bubble. mere bubble"
| said Walter Camp, Yale's athletic adj
wiser. i'll a discussion of football rules.
| He laughed ironically.
"Tllat reminds me- he said, "of the
children of a friend of mine whom
| visited in the summer.
"These children, two boys, got on
none too well.
Here SAID their mother to the old
er of them one day, here is banana;
divide it with your little brother, and
see that he gets the lions share
| the younger child, few minutes
later, set up a great bawling.
"'Mamma, he shrieked. John has
Mt given me any banana
"'What's this said the mother,
hurrying in.
Its ali right. exclaimed the older
boy. Lions don't eat bananas. -
| Kansas City Journal
Two colored preachers were in pull
pit in a Southern town. One who was
| preaching happened to say, "When
| Abraham started to build the ark" The
other strove to correct him by saying
aloud. abraham warn't thar" But
| the speaker pushed on, needless of the
interruption. and took occasion to re-
peat still more decidedly, 81 say. when
Abraham built the ark" "And l say"
cried out the other. abraham warn't
thar" "Well, 1 bet" said the other,
with Indignation. "he was thar, or
| thara bouts"
English is said to he one Of the most
! difficult languages in the world for Il
foreigner to learn. The verbs and
| propositions are particularly puzzling.
A professor in an Eastern college tells
OF the troubles of IA Frenchman with
the verb ito break
Il he gin to understand your language
better said my friend, NJ. de L,
to me. but your verbs trouble me still
You mix them up so with propositions.
Il saw your friend. Mrs. s.. just
now" he continued. She says she in
tends to break down her school earlier
than usual. Am | right there?''
Break up her school, She must have
said
"Oh. yes, remember: break up
| school,"
why does she do that" / asked.
Because her health is broken into"
Broken down.
Broken down" Oh. yes. And, i'll
deed. since the fever has broken up in
her town.
Broken out. Will she leave her
house alone"
mo: she is afraid it will be broken
broken-How do 1 say that
Broken into"
"Certainly; it is what | meant to
say"
| rs her son to be married Soonc"
NO. that engagement is broken
broken
Broken off? All. had not heard"
'She is very worried about it, Her
only son broke the news down to her
last week Am I right"
| mo; merely Embellishments Week
ly.
Lou Beauchamp is fond of pie. Re-
Gently, at the Roanoke, Va. Chau-
tauqua he felt the need of refreshments
after his lecture. So, in company with
Mrs. Beauchamp and Ellsworth Plum
stead, he entered a restaurant and
called for pie-apple pie.
The waiter produced a triangular
section Of something or other, and
Beauchamp tested the sharpest point
Then he called the waiter again.
Here. what sort of pie is this you've
brought me-"
The waiter picked up the plate.
neered under the upper crust at the