davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
GLOBE SIGHTS.


IFrom the Atchison Globe-1
Fried as spring chicken or baked as old
chicken, is the hen any better than the
rooster2
How very old people and very young
people turn Up their noses at love af-
It is a difficult thing to do to pay two
women compliment when they are to-
If You are married man. chew on
this: If you should die, would your wife
marry again?
The Jones Bros, who have made such
big success in Kansas City, failed twice
in small towns.
or do you intend to stick it out at homsg
Home has its good points.
The only time we feel important is when
we are on a train going through a little
town. and the train doesn't stop.
Some men are all right until a friend
drops in to visit them. Then il Is a quiet
drink. or two, or three, or seven or eight
After a woman has permitted d man to
pay her ear fare more than once. the
mans wife begins to have a feeling about
Fathers and mothers deny themselves
many comforts in trying to remember that
their children can be young "only once
A woman got on a train Is minutes be-
fore it was due 70 P9a OFT II that fine she
The truth is that more women would
use their sewing machines Sunday II the
sewing machine were provided with soft
pedal
More people seem to be reaching that
desperate frame of mind when they don't
care if the neighbors do know what they
do on Sunday.
It Is always being said that the peo-
pie" should DO certain things. Ever occur
to you that it is about time for the peo-
ple'' to have a benefit?
Now that the dear girl graduates are at
home, and want to reach to the heights,
what is the matter with cleaning house
and giving them the ceilings?
Does that belt hold up yog= pants2'' we
asked a man today who was wearing a
belt instead of suspenders. Well re-
piled he, mot very good"
When two women get on a street car
together neither sees what is going On IA
the car or outside, each being busily en-
gagged in quarreling with the other over
the privilege Of paying both fares
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
Ne Bluebonnets gay wer.
What For. Prav9

One evening, not long ago. the after
dinner chat of a little coterie centered
on the subject of the New Yorker and
MS bind devotion to the great eastern
metropolis. One declared that the
average New Yorker couldn't see over
the Harlem flats; and another said
that though there were undoubtedly
some extremely clever people there,
the thing that spoiled them for him
was their ignorance of and semi-con-
tempt for anything outside Of New
ork, especially in the west.
1t Used to worry me a GOOD deal
WheI aver ] met a cut-and-dried New
Yorker" said one; ''for I was horn in
Michigan and am glad of it, ana when
ever l was in New York 1 couldn't
help feeling somehow that they looked
on me in f-patronizing way that
always ruff7ed my feathers. But a few
months ago I was out on the Pacific
coast. and there I heard some one
make a remark that made the New
Yorker look so small that 1 wondered
why could ever have allowed him to
worry me for a minute. The man
was fine type of western independ-
ence, and he was extoIIing the ad-
had been brought up. It's the finest
city in the world to live in said he:
we're right near Honolulu and japan
and Manila and in Frisco you can get
anything you want
" But interposed an easterner who
happened to be in the crowd, you re
so far from New York;
New York said the Frisco man
with scathing indifference, what
would you want to go there for p -
Detroit Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
EROM OTHER PENS
TURN GRAFTERs ON.

In Chicago we have been expert
menting for years with other ways of
dealing with the CRATER. We have en-
deavored to restrain him or reform
him through civil service boards and
trial boards. and with all sorts of
punishments short of dismissal. We
have tried to make rascals honest with
new charters new legislation and So
called reform organizations. All these
things are futile. The CRATER is such
because he wishes to graft. He cares
nothing for fines, reprimands or
frowns so long as he is permitted to
hold the job which yields the graft.
The only way to deal with him is to
turn him out. The secret of good gov
eminent in city, state or nation is an
honest and courageous executive at the
top who will turn CRATER out. Mayor
Weaver is to be congratulated on dis
covering this secret and on using his
powers to rid Philadelphia of official
grafters by summary dismissal
Chicago Inter-Ocean.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

IFrom the Chicago News.1
Professional jolliers have many female
friends.
Fame is all well enough for those who
can afford it.
a man doesn't amount to much unless
he is able to prove it.
Love realizes its blindness shortly after
the marriage ceremony.
The first and last years Of mans life
are not very strenuous
4 man should hide nothing from his wife
even if it were possible
statistics show there are fewer blondes
than formerly Can this be the result of
a peroxide trust?
Kiss and a. smile have been the IN
doing of many a good man, while kick
and a cum have been the making OF many
another.
weeks visit it isn't because she s AFRAID
her husband will be lonesome-but because
she is afraid he won't be.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
HUMOR OF THE DAY

You can go from New York to Chicago
Al YES. but is that any adequate induce
ment?''-CleveIand Plain Dealer.
Young Mother-The doctor says that you
Old Neighbor-Poor little fellow-why
don't you wash him?-Detroit Free Press.
The wife. savagely-"Don't let me catch
The husband, meekly-No, dear. never
w!-Yonkers Statesman.
You stand BY. your party. whether it
yes, sir answered Senator Sorghum
And what is more, 1 expect the party to
do the same for me. Washington Star.
Bessie. don't you want to stay in the
parlor where your papa and Mr.. Xavier
NO. don't. mamma. I've got tired of
hearing them talk about munidcent own
ership. Chicago Tribune
PA
Wen. son. what. is it?'
This mythology. book speaks Of the bus
band of Venus being a lame god. Which
one of the Greek gods was lame?"
''Why-er-Olympus, of course. Use
your head a little and don't ask so many
questions. cleveland Leader
your house. Mrs. Kendall. reminds me-
asserted the congressman, politely, of
motion to adjourn
pray now IS LndI! asked tH6 BOou ID
dy, doubtfully
1T is always in order" responded the
statesman, triumphantly.
It had all the effect Of being fmpromptu.
Cleveland Leader.
Gould you bear I'D under It if were
to tell you that your wife might lose her
7 think I could DOCTOR" replied Hen
peck, IF she doesn't ask her mother to
come and live with us. Houston Post.
Tommy-Been fshin?
Johnny-Uh huh
Tommy-Catch anything?
Johnny-Dunno. Amt been home yet
Cleveland Leader.
why don't women read politics." ask
ed the fault-fnding man.
For the same reason" answered the
serene woman, that men don't read
bargain announcement. It's got their bus
Observation-Disclosures Star.
Enid-Did you catch your husband firt-
E.isie|1es. that is exactly how I did
catch him.-Ally Sloper's Half Holiday.
Missionary hope I am not too late for
CannibaI Chief-Oh. no: you're just in
time for the soup.-Town Topics.
Pinhead-If you'll marry me III insure
my life and give up cigarettes.
Miss Slam-Oh, if I married you I should
not want you to give them up.-Chicago
News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
TOGO WAS RIGHT.

A good many newspapers have in
dulged in sarcastic remarks in regard to
Togo's declaration that his victory over
the Russians was because of the virtue
of the emperor and of his ancestors. We
guess Togo was more than half right
The virtue and righteousness of the
rulers of any country makes patriotic
soldiers willing to fight or die, if neces-
sary, for their country. Soldiers of our
own country fought the harder and
better because of their love for and con-
fidence in George Washington, Abra-
ham Lincoln and William Mckinley
Holton Recorder.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Agricultural note: Former Chief
Stairs new crop of alfalfa is doing ex-
trenely well since he retired to his farm.
If Norway is real anxious for a king,
Why doesn't it advertise for one in the
want columns of the State Journal +?
They always bring results.
The mystery is, how did Charley Shell
don, the politician, ever get 1912, SIS. 80 in
debt? The 81 cents cents might be ac-
counted for, but how did he ever per-
suade anybody to loan him the rest of
It doesn't seem to have made much
difference if Major Harvey did flop, at
Ter all. Hoisington is to have two new
pop factories.
D. o. NcCray's rabbits foot continues
to be in good working order. He re-
mains on the state textbook commits
sion through every succeeding admins
tration, and that is as much as a mod
est man like Mr.. McCray would ask.
Governor Hoch and Rev Charles NJ.
Sheldon are scheduled to drive out to
Stahls picnic together. "I can see In
advance that will be a mighty dry
drive" said Bill Doolittle today in a
prophetic mood.
You don't hear so much about the
sacred il1on as formerly.
It is noted that the Topeka Capital
has given Major A. NJ. Harvey the rank
of colonel since his hop to the Republic
can party. Major HaFvey's friends sin
cerely hope that this promotion is not
expected to take the place of the fatted
calf feast.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
Who Was She2

A society woman of Topeka surprised
Kansas City man very much a few
days ago The man is a ''woman's tail
or" and the Topeka woman came here
to have dress fitted. When she reach
ed the station to take her train for home
she missed a valuable diamond sun
brust. Becoming excited, she rushed
across the street into a room, which
proved to be a saloon, and finally got
the tailor shop on the phone. Before the
tailor answered, though, she felt the
sunburst slip down her arm inside of
the phone. Still excited, but realizing
she must say something to him, the
woman said:
us that you, Mr.. Blank?f
1T is" was the reply.
well" she said. IL just thought I'd
call up and say good-by. kansas City
Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19

Mrs. Eleanor Hamilton Keenon S59
Washington boulevard, lays claim to be
not only the first white child born in
Chicago but also the oldest living pio-
neer The first claim has been accept
ed as a fact by the Chicago Historical
society, while the second remains open
to dispute. It was while Indians were
proving about Fort Dearborn, and
while the settlers who inhabited the fort
were in doubt as to what disposition
would be made of them that Mrs. Kee-
non was born, on February IA, 1882.
Having seen the city grow from a little
trading post to it's present proportions,
Mrs. Keenon says her one ambition is
to live until it is the biggest in Ameri-
ca.-Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
THE MEETING.

The flowers a congregation made
All over the field they reached,
ana sat attlred in their best array.
While Observation-Disclosures preached,
The Foxeloves, wearing their newest pairs,
Sat close in the pews of green
While marked by a proud and conscious
air
The Bluebonnets gay were seen.
Though little to boast of. none the less
The Bachelor Buttons came
And Lady Slippers felt sure their feet
Put all of the rest to shame.
Upon what text was the sermon wise?
II really seems quite absurd,
They all were so much absorbed in clothes
They couldn't recall a word.
New York Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
Old thing unless I'm rather fond Of

old thing unless I'm rather fond Of
him.
April eth.
went in today to get knife, Mr.
Burr had of mine, and Mr.. Chase
didn't have his glasses on and I told
him he looked like he was just aponI
half present, and he wasn't Dit OF
Tended. I do believe he would just let
me say anything to him.
April 18th.
I went to a party this afternoon and
stopped IN the store to telephone and
he hid my parasol and wouldn't hard
tended TO scold me for 'phoning him
about shaving, and I told him I did il
for his sweet sake and he looked so
pleased. When got to the party I
he'd be glad to know I arrived in
safety, and did the same thing when I
got home. Mr.. Burr makes me tired.
He called me I'D later and told me he
and when I asked ''Why?" Clicked to
death) he said, Because you live up
to it os we'll wish he'd go roll.
do not know the date do not
care. Life is a blank Ny heart Is
mashed just like a spoiled straw
berry. It is broken-never to be re-
paired. And the worst OF 1t IS Wo-
man is all heart, and a man is all
head, and when a man breaks wo-
mans heart she can't get even by
breaking his head because it's so soft
it won't break. But let me put the
cause Of my sorrow down in black
and white, for as yet I cannot realize
the truth. I went into the store-was
it yesterday? It seems a thousand
years ago. He was talking to a wo-
man and he turned to me and said.
Miss Faith. want you to meet my
wife" And I lived! But had he
| plunged a knife into my heart should
not have suffered so. How I got
away-how reached home-WiI al
ways be q dark mystery. There is this
comfort, I shall not live long TO suffer
thus-I cannot. For appearances
sake, I manage to swallow a few
mouthfuls at dinner and supper, but !
cannot eat breakfast. It chokes me.
And this question keeps whirling
through my dizzy brain-"Will I ever
be the Same Girl again % And every
fibre of my being cries back in an
anguish of despair, Never! Never
/ Neveri"-Imogen Tracy.
Topeka, Kan.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
UNwELCOME wELCoME.

King Oscar Of Sweden once passed
through a small town, festively deco
rated in his honor one stone build
ing bore large transparent board.
inscribed, welcome, Your Majesty
What house is that?' asked the king.
THAT is the town prison." was the an
swer. Whereupon his majesty laugh
ing, said: THAT is rather too much
politeness. New York Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
REFLECTIONS OF =. BACHELOR
lFrom the New York Press.l

from Inc NV TUT ~
ANY man is very interesting 10 "o-
man till she marries him
a girl is never afraid to learn to swim
If YOU can see the reason she goes IN
swimming.
1act Is calling a man a liar in a tone
If voice that makes him think you said
the opposite
No matter how badly an automobile cuts
up it always seems to a married man 70
he acting fairly reasonably.
rT,1e way some of their summer shirt
waists are made it hardly seems worth
while for women to put them on.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
KANSAS cOMMENT
TIE LID IN SALIVA.

There were six men standing on the
sidewalk having an apparently pleasant
time. Presently wagon drove up to
the sidewalk where the men were stand
ing and as quick 0s fash each of the
six men had a beg on his shoulder and
disappeared UP a nearby stairway and
the wagon was gone. It had hardly
stopped. This happened on Santa Fe
avenue one evening this week. And the
lid remains on.-Sa1ina Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
HOME NEWS WHILE away.

Subscribers of the state Journal
away during the summer may have
the paper mailed regularly each day
TO any address at the rate of thirty
cents a month. Address changed as
often as desired. While out OF town
the State Journal will be to you ike
q daily letter from home.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19

Among other things, we need an
ordinance specifying that July does
not begin until sunrise, notwithstand-
ing what the almanac may have to
say on the subject. This idea of
starting a celebration at 2 o'clock in
The morning is toe. much for every one
except the small boy.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19

Mr.. Takahari. Japan's financial
agent who has been looking after the
taking of japanese war loans i'm Amer
1ca- has been called 10 Toxic. Prob
ably the Japs expect Russia to nav
their expenses in the future, thereby
obviatins the necessity of anv mors
loans.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
THE SCANDINAVIA.

It may be. possibly, that the combi-
nation of Norway, Sweden and Den
mark would a pretty strong alliance.
For, we must not forget the once
popular song, which ran:
1.-THE Irish amt much,
And neither are the Dutch,
But hip, hip hooray for the Scandihoo-
WAN"
Los Angeles Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19

The census bureau has decided that
women must tell their ages to the
enumerators. This sounds very well
as an official order. but the census of
ficials, after all. are only men, and all
the world knows by this time the
weight of a mans must" beside wo-
mans shan baltimore American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19

Major A. NJ. Harvey is receiving a
large number of letters congratulating
him on his flop to the Republican
party but the most entertaining one
will probably come when Colonel Joe
Wright, of smith county gets around
to take his pen in hand and express
himself.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
LEAvENWORTH's CHOICE.

As a choice between the honors, we
prefer to entertain him during the next
few years rather than boast the record
of having been made famous by Banker
BigeloW.-Le Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
rs REPUTATION

Banker Bigelow will spend ten years
in a Kansas penitentiary- Considering
his previous reputation as good
spender, that term ought not be con
sfdered excessive.-Los Angles Ex-
press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19

1t will now be in order for the JOB
holders union in Washington to de-
clare a strike. President Roosevelt's
action in trying to eliminate red tape
and establish modern business meth
DDS in the governmental departments
is likely to pry lot of people loose
from some useless Jobs.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
OF COURSE.

A man rode five days in a refriger-
ator car and both his feet and legs
ceive a bin from the beef trust for
! icing en- route.-Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
THE ONLY TROUBLE.

Rojestvensl1y did about as well in
the Korean Straits as he did in the
North sea. The only trouble was that
the Japs insisted on shooting back
Kingman Leader-Courier.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
Bound to See.

Since the wreck of a train of the
Gollmar Brothers circus at Kempton,
Ind, last week. one of their large els-
plants refuses to board or alight from
her car. 1t requires a block and
tackle to get her aboard, and the same
means to get her to alight. Once in
the car she Immediately butts her
is going on.
At the L. E. & w. station at Hart
ford City. Ind, yesterday the animal
noticed the water spout extending
from the water tank and wrapped her
trunk around it and pulled it off, al
most pulling the big tank over.
The elephant is the mother Of a
babe two weeks old. and her actions
since the wreck have been remarkable
and are attributed to the love and fear
for the safety of her Chicago
Inter-Ocean.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
A FULL PAGE.

We are told the Russian feet "ad-
vanced in two columns" That was well
enough as far as it went; but evident
" the japanese advanced in seven
columns.=PhiIadelp North Amer
lean.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
AND IT'S EQUIPMENT.

The Golden Belt Electric line can
probably secure the franchises of the
Abilene and Southwestern railway that
hourished like a green bay tree in the
early 'S0's.-Abilene Reflector.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19

Chicago will make bid for the
peace conference. 1t would probably
like to have some of the product left
there to use on its strike, if there is
anv LEFT over
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
III WorILn 20 MISSED

We wonder who Is going to make
good that $4,000 a year the people of
Norway have been paying the king Of
Sweden to govern them. Oscar may
be able to get along without it, all
right, but if that much of our income
was cut off we'd feel it seriously
Marion Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19

Now that Rojestvensky has had
time to think it over. he thinks the
surprise Togo gave him is what caused
it. You see, Rojestyensky did not ex-
pect to be surprisad.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
Ills SINKING Fund.

The cars s6,Oo0,0o0 investment II
the United States does not look 50 very
big when one considers the wealth ne
has deposited in the Straits Of Korea
Philadelphia Inquirer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19

In Indiana the state railway com
mission. at Governor Hanly's instiga-
ton. has called for a list of all state
officials holding railroad passes. In
Kansas it would be far easier to make
q list Of those who do not.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
IT IS.

From the numerous obituaries ap-
pearing in the newspapers, the public
have become impressed with the fact
that the Emporia Republican is dead
Troy Chief.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19

Miss Ellen Stone is returning to
Macedonia. She doubtless knows
that those brigands will not want to
repeat their experience.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
ToUGH On RUssIA.

A sorrows crown Of sorrow for Rus
sia-the markets of the world rise
joyously on the news of her crushing
defeat.-New York Mail.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19

Would you consider the execution
of Johann Hoch the more cruel be-
cause it will make eighteen widows in
one day instead of only one?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19

OF course wages are high in New
York. Mr. Morton will get $50, 900 or
100000 a year, but it's worth it to
have to live in New York.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19

When Justice Brewers prediction
comes true and we have a woman
president. how much of the presidents
message do you suppose will be taken
up with recommendation as to fash
aons2
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
WHICH IS IT?

His arrival at Manila bay with three
battered Russian warship leads one to
wonder whether that admirals name
is Enquist or Inquest.-DetrOit Free
Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19

This theoretical warfare that the
government is carrying on with the
navy just now viii furnish an excuse
for a lot of public officials in Kansas:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19

The price of the best Kansas crude
oil is now down to fifty cents a barrel,
which has just been fixed by the
Standard. That is somewhat different
from what the producers expected
eighteen months ago.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19

Japan's next great battle will be one
Of diplomacy. 1t will be interesting
to note if she is as successful at that
as in fighting with armies and navies.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19

The manual training schools of the
future should have a course in ac-
curate brick-throwing. Then when
those who are trained in the schools
80 on a strike, the innocent bystander
will not be in so much dancer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-06-19
RTTT NOT A SOFT SNAP.

Every time we see a picture of John
d. Rockefeller's head we cannot help
thinking what a sinecure his barber
ossesses.-ToIedo Blade.