The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1905-06-22
Anent the War.

RAhA~kAt HAhN " 0NAe
Mr.. Punkin limped slowly into Alb
Risley's store and sat down In his
accustomed chair nearest the stove.
After lighting his pipe he crossed
one leg very laboriously over the
other The pipe was bit contrary
at first, but when few hardy puffs
had enabled IL TO strike Its gait Mr..
PHnkin leaned back and sighed as
II In pain.
Eaky Mears, the shoemaker, sat
only few feet frOm Mi. Punkin, and
upon hearing the sigh turned toward
hin. and said:
Rheumatic, Uncle Tobe?"
Eyes. Euky, what Is known as the
du2likit bran y7Iheumatiz: two COM
plete 0ntlits-righ an lefts. When
one breaks down tn ynther one
starts up. One is workin' all ov tn
time, an both much oy tn time.
IT'S gcttin' no better fast but I'm
usin' lavender an lard. Don't yuh
ever want tn rheumatic. Euky."
~ had tech oy II wunst 10 my
left shoulder. but ="
MERELY amachure rheumatic, NY
boy, amachure; a man under 50 never
has tn professional. /"
"Air ynh readin' much about tn
war now, Uncle Tobe? asked young
All Rlsley.
"Wcll, yes, Abby, ali ] kin under
stan. Yuh see, wunst know d
Rooshan. but forgot IL. ] never
could talk Japaneeze A mans
tongue has d be split, like a ravens
before he kin talk that. TIL RoOsh.
an Iangwidge Is composed OF SO let
tiers, 80 consynents an two novels,
an when q Roosban wants word he
jes' saws Off about foot ov tn al.
phybet, an he may git vowel an
he may not. have heard that tn
OIL trouble betwixt tn Rooshans an
tn Poles was becuz t. Poles wanted
T. interduce two mo- consynents intu
tn iangwidge, an tn RoOshans
couldn't stan fer em. Ef Roosha
conkcred Japan tn Japs would have
tn use tb'r langwidgc an ! don't
blame tn laps fuh putin up q
strong fight
"What air they ightin' a'OutY
asked Heck Shamblin who had Just
| finished q game Of checkers.
i "Manchuri, a small island In tn
Red Sea, which, by tn way, b'long'
IT, Chiny. Each one Is hghtin' t
keep tn other from gettin' 1t. Chiny
loses no matter which way tn win
blows Tn Chinyman allus gifts th
short end oy tn string, no matter
whether he's 10 Chiny or Chinatown
When this war fus, started lots ov
people was sorry fun japan. Nov
them same people Is prayin, full
4 Roosha IL a great country. Its prin
cipal producks Is whiskers an buns
an consynents. III ruler ov tn
Roosbans Is called tn Gar, but fuf
short they dubs him tn Little
Father" This Is tn Rooshans full
step-tather.
i "Iicfo this present war was declar'
nobody had ever know'd u Jap t. d
anything but turn han'springs In
circus or make Piles on Unite'
States man-ov-war It's true, the.
had licked Chiny, but that didn'
count. Any man that would fight
Cbinyman, would sick tn dogs on
flock ov two months old lam's. Whel
Japan got troublesome tn Car Sc
q Gin'ral Chou-chousky, sez he
""rake a half.dozen men an max
them fcllers behave; they air gittin
impudent. An tn Gin'ral called :
gether sev'ral ov his men IIopks
an Jumpsky an Rumsky an FlYsky
who ariter bein' patted on tn hea
by tn Gar, marched fravely on
tn fray"
What Is fray?" Bundle Fee Gill
gan wanted TO know.
'Fus' cousin T. fracas, grunte
Mr.. Punkin impatlently.
"ln three days they was in RI
! trap an' Roohsa had t. pay one pc
! cent more fun loans. Then Admir-,
! Neyerbendsky arrived ON tn seen
I with reputashum an breast fu
ov medals. His fleet was compose
of 'The Tchwkitzwchsky," 9TH
Xxwqstvwsky,n 1.-The Nxcrmrusky,
an ''rhe Mrs. Tompkins," all stou
) crafts. This fleet was destroyed ]
: three days. In two weeks 1t W,
a'gin destroyed. A month ate
wards this magnificent body ov shil
was a'gin repo'ted destroyed. La
Tuesday for tn 10th time they ",
sunk. n I'm tempted to b'leve it
n cork deet, Another feet Is on d
way { take Their place. II Is Il
Baltic fleet. u has aelorious recor,
Las summer they run across thr,