The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-05-01


obliged to preach to such a small con-
Frivolous widow-so do 1. Every
time he said Dearly beloved this
morning I felt as If had received a
proposal.-May Smart Set.
1Fabel-so you have broken OK the
engagement. Have you returned his
ring1
reasonable. OF course I have changed
my opinion of George, but admire
the ring as much as ever.-Chicago
Journal.
TIGER STRIPES.
Automobile ads. remind US
We should have a fast machine
And, departing, leave behind US
odors Of the gasoline.
''All's well that ends we'll" said the
cat as it struck the bottom.
The best dentist know Is a Cuban
from Havana"
Il see, a kind of Havana hHer7"
He who comes home on the owl win
never get up with the lark.
The weary hobo tried to make his
place? ?" said he.
And they showed MIN the door,
Princeton Tiger.
doing?
Oh. mummy. we're playing Is
sweeps" and we've blacked baby's face
and I'm putting her up the chimney e6s
she's the only one that'll at.-London
Tatlef.
Il understand Dyer has sold out to
the trust. How much did he get?''
Ten million in stock and 81, 600 in
cash. "-Broeklyn Life.
missionary would you2 Do you think
you are qualified for that kind of work?
The Appiicant-Yes, sir. can live on
almost nothing, mend my own Clothes
90 my own cooking, take care Of sick
people, and shall be willing to teach
school without getting any pay for it,
Chicago Tribune.
Mrs. Crimsonbeak-A woman never
knows what a man is doing when he's
out of her sight, but man generally
knows what a woman is doing.
Mr.. CrimEonbeak-That's right A
man is always pretty sure that a wo-
man is talktng.-Yonkers Statesman
Nellie. spoke the youth, with an air
OF confidence, only say the word and
rough sea of life, bravely buffeting its
waves, trimming our sails to meet the
adverse winds that"
Leave me. Harry, leave me- inter-
takes me on that journey must offer me
first-elass passage on steamship"
WhereupOn Harry cast off the line of
affection for Nellie and sailed out Of
her presence with a. decided list to port.
Seattle Post-Intelligencer
I'm going to start a. comedy com
pany on the road In a couple OF weeks,
said the theatrical manager.
What play?" asked the critic.
'Oh, I haven't got that written yet,
but I heard a good Joke today that we
can use in t."-Philadelphia Ledger.
The dangers of sensational journal
ism are many" observed the philOsophi-
cal fly; land yet it suits the taste of
some persons to the extent that it be-
comes positive appetite with them
Now, there's my brother" he continued.
pointing to struggling, buzzing un-
fortunate. He's so badly stuck on that
yellow sheet that he's all tangled up
and doesn't know which end he's ONT
Cleveland Leader.
In these days of hasty marriages and
more hasty divorces it is a relief to read
of an old New York couple playmates in
childhood, betrothed in youth and husband
and wife for so years. who died within
words were expressions of love for their
life partners.-Louisville Post.
'I gave him piece OF my mind"
That was very generous
How SOP"
| least of is the highest form of generosity"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Dumb say this is the third time I've
called on you for you to pay that bill.
Don't you know that time is money?
slowpay1;0,,hf, # that's I.i, so. come as often
" Of my time,--Isoston Transcript
do you think that history tells the ex-
truth about great mep2
Certainly not answered Senator Sor-
ghum. "A man who is competent to rule
| legislators and soldiers ought to be able
! TO have pretty much his own way with a,
few historians. Was hington Star.
| Here Is where a man stole 1900 from
/ the government years ago and has Just
returned $1,000 to The conscience fund =
/ by Jinks, 1 am thinking.
If the government would be better on
/ II everybody stole 81. 600 and returned ST.
goo. Chicago Daily News.
President castro.s queer actions are in
EMBELLISHMENTS News.
! honesty is the best policy.-New York
Herald
TinkIewhacker (the distinguished virtu-
oso)-Ndy music is always moving.
Miss Dubbly-Sos ours. The INSTALL
ment man is always getting our piano.
/ Chicago News.
do you think that that wretched little
Pattersby is consistent
Yes. do, and consistency, you know,
! is a jewel"
Maybe so But in Patterby's case I
don't like the setting. '-CleeyIand Plain
Dealer.
| Slowboy sympathetically)-Yo seem to
have a very bad cold. Miss Willing.
Miss Willing (huskiiy(-Yes; I'm actual
ly 50 hoarse that couldn't scream If you
were to attempt to kiss me.-Detroit Tri-
bune.
/ For some bargains a woman once so.
And among the things which she DO
Was a three-legged chair,
Which made poor hubby stare.
And say n0ier things than he 0.
Sunset Magazine.