Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1905-02-11
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or AFTER ne kissed your Maud can't
tell. During the excitement | forgot
all the details.-Life.
Husband-You are always looking
| for bargains, Was there ever time
When you wasn't a bargain hunted?
Wife-Yes, dear; when | married you.
Scissors.
Mrs. Chatterson--It was such
relief 10 have my husband fail. Mrs.
Chipway-How so? "Oh, ] was so
afraid we would have TO pay all these
bills.'-Life.
Cyril--You may spurn me. cruel one,
but remember. shall not always be
clerk at so q week. Marie-That's inst
the trouble. You may lose your job at
any time.-Chicago News.
Parent (angriIy) -Those school
shoes" / bought here for my boy did
not last two weeks Dealer with sur
prise)-ife must have been wearing
them out of school,--Washingt Life.
Teacher dn spelling class)-Johnny,
spell fail" Johnny--I can't Teach
er--You can't spell that simple word?
Why not? johnny Cause you told
me there was no such word as fail
New Yorker
Paney (who ENJOYS having her moth
er read to her)~~-Wcad some more,
mamma Mamma 1 cannot, dear; my
eyes are too tired. pansy with fine
Scornl--Rut wead wiv 60 mouf, ma
New York Times
rs your husband up yet:" Inquired
the early morning caller II guess he
is, replied the stern-ookng woman.
"Id like to say a few words to him"
$50 would l. He hasn't come home
yct"-Catholic Standard
Eruestine--I don't see why your
chaperon should have been offended
because Jack played the piano. 1t was
certainly better than lovemaking,
Moyrtina- Yes, but he insisted upon
playing always in the Way.'--Cht-
caao News.
Toni don't see you automobiling
with Miss Giddyun any more. Jack
No; l weighed her In the balance and
found her wanting. rom--Wantlng
what? Jack Wen, wanting 10 face
the parson with me, for one thing
Chicago News.
Little Johnnie When Miss Nextdoor
got married, her mother threw an cid
slipper after her What was that for2
Little Ethel Oh, they always do that.
~
never going to spank her any more
Smiths Weekly.
This seryant-glrl problem viii make
me old before my time!" Bothers yon
loo, does it?' Indeed It does. IL
| nave an ugly maid my husband Is
away all the time. and II have a
pretty one he is at home all the time.
and | daren't go away; so there it is"
Houston Post.
Mrs Woody don't mean TO
say you paid my millner's bin today
Mr. Woodby or course. The bin
reached me yesterday, and | thought
the miillner might need the money.
so Mrs Woody Simpleton! How
do you expect us to be considered real
swell If we pay our bills promptly
Philadelphia Ledger.
Maude-Did you read that magazine
article I'm which a physician advocates
yawning as n means of stopping the
disagreeabe buzZing in ones ears!
Clara Yes: aud he is right, too. |
tried 1t on young Borum the other
evening after he had talked continu-
ously for an hour or more, and he
took the hint and left hlcago Daily
News.
The following notice was recently
found tackled Oh the door Of n church:
There will be preaching in this house
week from next Wednesday, Proyi-
deucc peuuittln', and there will be
preaching whether or no on Monday
following upon the subject He that
beHcveth and il baptized shall be
saved and he TINT beleycth not shall
be damned at $3.50 in the afternoon.
Clinton MOI Herald.
A travelling man who drove across
the country TO little town IN western
hauling wagon-load Of water.
where DO you get water be asked.
TN the road about seven miles" the
farmer replied. And you haul water
seven miles for your family and
stock" yep" why In the name
of sense don't you dig wellf' asked
the traveller Because il is inst rs
far one way as the other, stranger"
Denver Republican.
Mrs. Potts was filed with nervous
alarms whenever she Travelled, and Mr..
Potts always had his hands full in
trying TO quiet and reassure her. al
gernon." said Mrs. Potts, Weakening
her husband from a sound sleep in Il
southern railway ear. "Algernon!
want you to lind out why we arc going
at this fearful speed. The car is bump
Ing ard swaying till / can scarcely