Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1905-06-27
Van Valkenberg
in Literature 3 D
By HAYDEN cARRUr1z

NOUNG Mr.. Schermerhorn Van Walk
enberg's attention was first attract
ed to literature when a melancholy
young novelist superseded him in the
esteem Of a certain lady. Young Mr..
Van Valkenberg survived the defec-
tion of the lady, but it set him to think
ing.
"A fellow doesn't seem to be worth
30 cents nowadays" he observed to
his friend, Fitzmorris, unless he
writes"
Going to try it?" asked Fitz.
Not much. l can't What, do you
think I'm going to sit up nights and
grind out things and have these beastly
editors send them back with one Of
those printed slips saying how good the
story is, but how awfully sorry they
are that they can't print it? Well,
hardly"
BY which Fitz knew that Van Walk
enberg had tried it, or how did he know
about the beautiful slips? But Fitz
kept still; he was a sort Of pension
er on Van Valkenberg, and had learned
discretion.
NO continued the other. 'I know a
a better way than that. t's the name
Of writing that counts-doing it doesn't
matter Something like Whats-his
name-that fellow in What-do-you-call-
him's book-who said that it isn't heat
but the appearance of heat that you're
after"
Going to hire some clever chap to
do your writing?"
mo; though I thought Of that at
first. Clever chap would build me up
a nice reputation, and then blackmail
me for the rest of my life. l know
these clever chaps No; my plan is
this: I'll go around to two or three
of the leading magazine offices, and
just exchange checks with the cashiers,
and then, you know it might happen
that some folks would just chance to
see the checks l got and that would be
pretty good proof that l was writing
for the magazines, wouldn't it?"
BEST in the world, l should say" re-
turned Fitz. But aren't you going to
have trouble in getting the cashiers to
make the exchange?"
"Oh, I'll fix that-somehow," an
swered Van Valkenberg cheerfully. you
just lie low and don't say a word about
it and you'll see."
Young Mr.. Van Valkenberg found it
rather more difficult to carry out his
o1o, +bor 10 hod o,roorod nut tbrOuob
a slight acquaintance with a clerk in
one office, and with a substantial bribe
to an assistant in another, he managed
to get hold of two checks. The cashier
of third leading publisher remained
to a frontal attack, so the
ingenious Van Valkenberg executed a
flank movement by arranging with the
department, for a certain
amount of space, sending his check in
payment for an even hundred dollars
too much, and appearing an hour later
to apologize for the mistake, saying
that he had carelessly left his check
book at home, and so could not draw
another check for the correct amount,
so wouldn't they please give him the
Arms check for the difference, which
the obliging advertising manager did,
and the young man with the desire for
the appearance of authorship departed
happy.
The next day at the club young Mr..
Van Valkenberg took some letters from
his pocket, and a little slip Of paper
dutetred to the floor, quite by chance.
The friend with whom he was dining
picked it up and caught the name Of the
firm as he did So
Hello, Van" he commented, as he
returned it; "got job with these peo-
ple?"
"Oh, no." answered Van Valkenberg, |
slightly embarrassed mo, not a job |
If you'll keep it quiet, though
don't mind telling you that I'm going
n for writing little, just TO pass away |
he time, you know That's for little
story threw off the other evening"
"You don't say so! | didn't think
1ou had it in you" said the other
frankly
ooh, it's nothing. Easiest thing in
he world. BY the way here are
couple of others-I've felt that ought |
lot to confne my work to one maya |
line, you know. No more than right TO
give 'em all a chance"
"Certainly-be fair TO them all, Van,"
laid the friend. evidently much inn
pressed Il suppose the next thing we
Know you'll have out book"
"oh. time enough for that-time