davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
He Got II.

On the day following the railroad
wreck near Harrisburg. Pa. recently
while party of newspaper men were
waiting in one of the company's Offices
awaiting news, word came that some
of the railroad claim agents had al
ready settled with and secured re-
leases from some of the injured pas
sengers.
That called forth story of the ex-
perience of claim agent who had
been sent to settle with passenger
injured is wreck on a southern rail
road, in which a coach had rolled
down an embankment The passen-
ger had several ribs and leg broken.
a scalp wound and internal injuries,
and the railroad man stood ready to
have paid his $4,000 for release.
When asked what he thought would
be right. the injured passenger, an
Arkansan, said:
Wall. stranger. that was a pretty
long fall They tell me that that car
must have rolled about sixty feet.
think | ought to get 81 foot, any
way
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Sanitariums for Plants.

The latest in New York is sanitar-
iums for plants. They are to be found
in the uptown neighborhoods where
families are in the habit of going away
for the summer, boarding up their
houses and dispensing with the SER
vices of caretaker. Many of these
familree do not hesitate to leave the
cats that have protected their houses
from mice all winter 10 find either
their living in the streets or strangula-
ton in the pound when the house is
closed for the summer; but they
would never dream of leaving their pet
plants to starve. Fashionable florists
do not like the term boarding places
for plants" The signs in their win
dows read "sanitariums for plants"
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Church and State.

A few days ago the French Chamber
of Deputies passed a bill which prac-
tically effects separation OF church
and state. The situation is thus ex-
planned by the Brooklyn Eagle:
1.-The bill abolishes the concordat or
agreement with Rome, into which Ma
poleon and Plus VII. entered In 1901.
and withdraws from the Catholic
Church, and from other religious de-
nominations, the annual contributions
made to their support by the state
treasury. In 1904 these contributions
included 4O.GS1 ,903 francs for Catholic
worship, 1877 500 francs for Protestant
worship, and 1GO,5O0 francs for Jewish
worship. The republic says the text
of the new bill, assures liberty of con-
science and guarantees the free exer-
else of religion, subject to the restric-
tions of public order. The republic
neither recognizes, pays stipend to nor
subsidies any sect, but provides
funds for college, hospital and asylum
chaplains. Otherwise the public wor-
ship budget Is abolished and public es-
Establishments connected with religion
are suppressed
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Noted For Her Beauty.

The countess of Northbrook, until
a short while ago better known as Wis.,
countess Barring, is looked upon as
one of the handsomest women in Lon
don society. During the life of the
late earl, says the Tattler, she always
spent much of her time with him at
his country home in Hampshire. and
there shone as the most brilliant host
ess in the country, arranging the
shooting parties entirely herself and
experimenting the very smallest de-
tail as to the comfort of her father-in-
laws guests. The earl was devoted to
her and was never tired of showing
off her portraits and pictures. of
which he had no fewer than fifty diff
ferent kinds, and always talked of her
as his beautiful daughter-in-law."
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Iaken at His Wnrd.

Once in a Massachusetts town Jacob
A. Riis was asked by gaunt, funeral
sort of chap what he should say by
way of introducing him to an assem-.
blage. "Oh." replied Mr. Riis. in a
spirit of levity, SAY anything you like.
Say I am the most distinguished man
in the country. They generally do"
Whereupon his serious minded
friend marched upon the stage and
calmly announced that he did not
know this man Riis, whom he was
charged to introduce, and had never
heard of him.
"He tells" he went on, with never a
wink, that he is the most distinguish
ed citizen in the country. You can
judge for yourselves when you have
heard him."
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
COMES A TIME
When Coffee Shows What It Has Been
Doing.

When Coffee Shows What II Has Been
Doing.
"Of late years coffee hs- disagreed
with me-" writes a matron from Rome.
N. Y; ''its lightest punishment was to
make me 1ogy' and dizzy. and Il
seemed to thicken up my blood.
THE heaviest was wheT II upset my
stomach completely destroying my ap-
petite and making me nervous and irrl
table. and sent me to my bed. After
one of these attacks. in which I nearly
lost my life. l concluded to quit and
try Postum Food Coffee.
"It went right to the spot! I found
it not only most palatable and re-
freshing beverage, but a food as well.
IAN my ailments, the loginess' and
dizziness. the unsatisfactory condition
Of my blood. my nervousness and irri-
liability disappeared in short order and
my sorely aflicted stomach began
quickly to recover. began to rebuild
and have steadily continued until now.
Have a good appetite and am rejoic-
ing in sound health, which l owe to
the use Of Postum Food Coffee" Name
given by Postum Co.. Battle Creek.
Mich.
There's a reason.
Read the little book. THE Road to
Wellville." found in each pkg.
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Hanna and the Poor House.

An Ohio manufacturer tells this
story of Mark Hanna. The Senator
often walked through his mill, e1-
planning this and that. One day while
on such tour he heard a boy say: Z
wish l had Hanna's money and he
was in the poor house" The senator
smiled grimly and on returning to his
office sent for the boy. so you wish
you had my money and ! was in the
poor house, eh?" he said. Now, sup
pos ng you had your wish. what would
you do?" The youngster. one Of the
ready-witted Irish variety. said with q
droll grin: well. guess I'd get yon
out of the poor house the first thing
This adroit answer brought the led an
increase OF pay the next week.
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Patient, Indeed,

The old colored deacon accosted the
parson on the roadside.
"Pahson," he began, "Ah want to
ask yo' question. Who was the most
patient man on earf?"
why, bruddah," responded the par
son, JOB was, OBJ cose."
NO. sab! All tell yo' Noah was"
En- how do yo' make dat out?"
"Why, Noah had two skeeters on de
ark en- carried dem around fob forty
days en- nights. Ell he cud resist
slappin' ct dem all dat time he was de
most patient man on earf."-Chicago
News.
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Burial Of NapoIeon.

Yes. bury me deep in the infinite sea,
Let my heart have limitless grave;
For my spirit in life was as fierce and
free
As the course OF the tempcst-wave.
AS far from the stretch OF all earthly
control
Were the fathomless depths of my
mind:
And the ebbs and flows of my single soul
Were as tides to the rest Of mankind.
1hen my, ,briny pail shall engirdle the
world
As in life did the voice Of my fame;
And each mutinous billow that's sky
ward curled
Shall seem to re-echo my name.
That name shall be storIed in annals of
crime
In the uttermost corners of earth;
Now breathed a curse-now a spell
word sublime.
In the glorifed land of my birth.
Ay. plunge my dark heart in the infinite
II would burst from a narrower tomb:
Shall less than ocean his sepulchrc be
Whose mandate to millions was doom
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
CharminQ,

While Prof Henry Drummond was
calling on a friend on his last visit
here he was introduced to a party Of
American girls.
How very formal you are here
when you are introduced" he said.
Now. in England we always shake
hands. What Go you do here when you
say good-by?"
"Oh. we kiss" said the youngest of
the party, a charming girl of 16.
"Ah. that's charming" responded
Prof. Drummond: Suppose we say
gooC-by right now"
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21

mo, no, dear" she exclaimed, trcT-
bling, "he-he is-a stranger"
the carriage ratified over the pave
ment.
Pearl" he said at length, would
you mind? On our way home there is
a patient of mine that, fear. is not
long for this world. l must visit her
and l wish you would come with me.
Won't you say few comforting
words to herr"
PEARLS sympathetic heart was
touched and from the gay dining
room they went to the poor little
room of the girl. Shu sat down by
the girls bedside and tried to com
fort her, but nothing that she said
seemed to soothe the sufferer. She
took her hand and smoothed her hair.
Won't you confide in me?" she
asked kindly.
The girl shook her head. 81 will
not tell his name" she said.
The doctor stood, behind his wife
and made sign that seemed to
change her mind.
His name Is -" the girl whis-
pered. Pearl bent low to hear the
whispered words, and then started
back violently when she heard his
name. She almost cried out.
DO you know him?" the girl asked.
No, no, dear" she exclaimed, trem-
bling, "he-he is-a stranger to me"
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21

Her husband ordered supper and
attentively supplied all her wants,
but she could not keep her eyes off of
LanEdon and the hashily dressed girl
in his company. They had taken a
table in the center of the hall and
wine began to flow freely. Cissey
talked loudly and finally. apparently
at the suggestion of Langdon. leaped
upon the table, displayed a very loud
pair of hose and danced one of the
rather vulgar dances then popular on
The stage amid the applause of the
crowd.
BY that time, however. DIR. Horton
had paid the bill, and, without ap-
parently taking notice of the doings
in the other room. led his wife out by
a side entrance, where the carriage
was waiting. He looked at his watch
and sat musing for a moment, while
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
pesian for railor's Stationery.

A gentleman called last week at a
large stationer's to order some note
paper with a heading. On being shown
various designs, monograms, ETC..
NO" he said, Il want something SIM
pler-just flower, a forget-me-not.'
But. sir, that would surely be N Jre
suitable for a young lady"
81 know what l want" vas the
prompt reply; Il am a tailor. md the
paper Is for my customers"
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Objections All Removed.

A Chicago lady wrote to farmer
over in Michigan where she spent last
summer with her family and told him
she would like to come again this
summer but that she objected 10 the
kitchen methods of his hired girl and
to the swine being kept too close to
the house. She received an answer
which contained the following: "You
may cum all right. Hannah has went.
and there haIn't been no hogs on the
place since you left last summer"
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
pIsFleuRiNe ULCER
People Looked at Her in Amazement
Pronounced lncurabie-Face
Now Clear as Ever-Thanks
God fer Cuticura.

Mrs. p Hackett, of 400 Van Buren
St, Brooklyn, N. ", says: II wish
to give thanks for the marvellous cure
of my mother by Cuticura. She had
a severe ulcer, which physicians had
pronounced incurable. 1t was a ter
rible Disagreement, and people would
stand in amazement and look after
her. After there was no hope from
doctors she began using Cuticurs
Soap. Ointment. and Pills. and now.
thank God, she is completely cured.
and her face is as smooth and clear
as ever"
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
TERROR OF FRENc~ HEEls
Doctors Tell Of Harm Lone by This
Foolish Fashion In Shoes.

You might as well turn the stream
of, a garden hose against the wind.
in the hope of stopping the blow, as
to attempt to convince the average
woman that the high French heel is
Injurious said practitioner whose
patients are women almost exclusive
ly to the New York Press, but doc
tors see every day illustrations OF the
harm done by this absurd and, l may
say. abominable following of fash
ionable fad. The high heel. l mean
the ridiculous high heel, which lifts
the rear cushion of the foot four
inches from the ground and pitches
the body forward is in direct defiance
of the laws of nature. No woman
who wears these denominations can
expect to maintain an erect carriage
and when that becomes impossible
she may as well prepare herself for
a sunken, scrawny throat as she
grows older The women of early
Greece who wore sandals and let the
soles OF their feet lie fat on the
ground were noted for their beauti-
full throats and busts. Ugly as our
Indian squaws are in facial contour.
their bust development is perfect, be-
cause they breathe naturally and the
healthful and natural expansion of
the lungs gives them a fullness and
beauty at the throat that their civil
lied sisters would give anything to
possess, but they never will get it SO
long as they attempt to initiate the
kangaroo and strain muscles never
intended to have such a burden put
on them"
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
;,t,. DAUGHTER Looks Ahead.

Mamma-My dear. what are you DO
ing?
Little daughter. aking dolly for
my little sister.
Mamma-But you haven't any little
sister.
Little daughter-No, not yet, but
Sally Stuckup has just got one, and
| know we always get everything the
Stuckups do.-Illustrated Bits.
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Difficult Navigation.

Church--Aerial navigation is still
difficult, is it not?
| Gotham-Why, yes. We had very
hard shower the other night when /
was at a roof-garden shown and the
navigation was something fierce!-
Yonkers Statesman.
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
A Plea for Mercy.

You've been fishing" said the stern
parent. Come with me, sir; I'm 60
ing to punish you"
/ II hope. father said the boy. that
Won will make the punishment At the
crime
That's what | propose to do. sir"
well. father, only got one nibble.
That's all the crime amounted to-
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Made a Clean Sweep.

"Alas!" said the old horse. There's
no hope for me now; l see my finish" ("
What's the trouble?" asked the
Jersey COW.
THE new breakfast foods. Ny mas
ter tackled oats first; then he changed
to hay; then fodder and only this
morning l saw him looking yearningly
at the only patch Of green grass left
in the meadow"
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Easily Satisfied.

stop and think, young man Why
do you drink that stuff? Remember,
that water is the best beverage-it is
a priceless drink"
Sure, that's all right. But I'm not
extravagant in my tastes-the best is
too fine for me. All want is drop
of something good. od."-Cleveland Lead
or
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Describing Her.

But she goes to church regularly.
"Of course. don't deny that"
well. then, in the matter of her re-
lieious duties she's close observer
! Say, rather clothes observer.
She simply goes to observe the clothes
of the other women"
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Went Deep.

rs Browns wife one of those deep
feeling women?"
IL guess SO: he says he can never
keep any change in his pockets. =
Milwaukee Sentinel.
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
She Mas Worried.

Charles asked me the all-important
question last night. said Clara.
"What-a proposal?'
"Oh. heavens, no. He wanted to
know If I would like the use Of his
auto while he was away TINS sum
mer.'
And what about the other ques-
'tion?"
= "Oh, that will come; but felt un-
certain about the auto
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Modesty.

Whizzer-'I hear that you nearly
killed a man this morning."
Goggles-"Yes; but l wouldn't have
done 1t If he hadn't been just around
a curve"
Whizzer-"Cut out the modesty, old
man. If you don't boost yourself no
one else will do it."
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Not pevoured by Curiosity.

"Did tn docther find out what 1t is
that's ailin' yez?"
l mo. He said th't nawthin' but a
ipostmortem examination wud iver re-
veal ut. An haven't enough curiosi-
ty about ut to have ut done"
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Sense Not Needed.

Poet-Im sure l don't know what
to do with this poem. The editor says
it's utter slush and even my friends
pronounce it nonsense.
Friend-Well, I'll tell you-why
don't you have it set to music?
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Ha! a Joke.

quite a number of Englishmen are
locating in that new suburb he's build
ing up, and he's thinking of calling the
place Shilling"
Il don't quite see the idea"
We'll, that's the English quarter,
YOU know"
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
The One Thing Needed.

But it is no use to argue with a
woman"
"Oh. yes. 1t is; only, instead of us
ing logical arguments you should use
convincing ones"
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
An Actor Knows.

Miss Sue Brette-"Some people say
chest and others say trunk what's
the difference, do you suppose?"
Foote Lighte-"Well. you see.
chest is something you throw out and
a trunk is something you let down" ;"
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Seeino Ihinua.

Mr.. Crimsonbeak-"Wife wen have
to get rid of some of those hatracks
in the hall"
Mrs. Crimsonbeak-"Wha on earth
are you talking about? We've only
got one hatrack in the hall,"
why, when I came in last night,
thought l saw six or seven"
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Slim Eating.

DO you think there is any differ.
ence In mans weight before he eats
his meal and afterwards?" asked the
boarding house lady.
well. not II he gets the meal here"
replied the thin boarder."
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
The Way He Painted,

Mrs. Subbubs-Well have to have
that back shed painted right away.
Mr.. Subbubs-I spoke to the painter
about it, but he's SO busy he won't be
able to attend TO 1t for several weeks.
Mrs. Subbubs-We can't wait that
long, it needs to be painted very
badly.
Mr.. Subbubs-oh, in that case I'll
do it.
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
At the Top.

Hes at the top of the ladder,
isn't he?"
! Il guess so. He can hear of an
other mans success without getting
sore.'-Detroit Tribune.
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Following instructions.

Now" said the magistrate, you
must testify to what you know; no
hearsay evidence"
Yes, sir" replied the female wit
ness.
Now, then. what is you age?'
"I-er-wont tell you. have only
hearsay evidence on that point"
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Hard Luck.

grouchy these days"
Yes; they settled that life insur-
ance squabble before he got chance
to work of Jekyll and Hyde gag"
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Stunu,

Bacon-"Did you ever go to sew
ing bee?"
Egbert-"Oh, yes"
What happened?" .i
Got stung."
"oh. you met your wife there, did
you?"
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Breaking it to Mother.

Il wish you wouldn't encourage that
young man. my dear. He is ridicu
lously poor"
But he has expectations"
What expectations?"
My little fortune, mamma dear"
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
InconqTuOus.

Pleasant duty" snorted the
chronic kicker, that's another ridicu.
lous expression"
Why so?" demanded the speaker
who had used it.
Because no duty could really be
pleasant If it's actually a duty
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
IN eentIe Inainuation.

"Is this the best dinner you can give
a man? l wouldn't set such mess
before a pig"
But, John. l haven't asked yoa to
wait on yourself"
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Synonymous.

so he said l was polished gentle
man. did he?"
"Well-yes. 1t was the same thing"
"Ah! What was the exact word?"
He said you were slippery fel-
low"
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Proof Positive.

81 was not drunk last night"
You were"
What makes you think so?"
Il saw you trying to set your watch
by the fare register on trolley carl"
Leader.
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Looked Like a Procession.

Was DeLush very drunk"
Was he? Say. I was trying to get
him to go home when Jones came past
in his runabout. And DeLush looked
at him and said, Why, didn't you tell
me there's goin' to be n automobile
p'rade?'"
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
A Silly Song

Two noblemen at breakfast.
Once face 10 face were set;
And one of them was hungry.
And one was deep in debt:
The latter was the one VINO
The bill for both would get
Because this little breakfast was
The payment OF bet
''My stars and garters,' whispered
The host, ''Tvc never met
So terrible an appetite
Just see that fellow let
His belt out two more notches,
And wolf that Omelette'
And l. who stood and watched them.
Wept tear drons. big and wet
OF laughter-for twas funny,
And makes me giEgle yet
OH surely / shall never
That Joyous sight forget
To see that worried Niscount
The eggs the baronet'
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21

Tommy-Theres a man at the door.
pa. who wants to see the boss OF the
house. Pa Tell your mother. Ma
Call Bridget.
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
A Good Reason.

and. Willie. do you know why
Methuselah lived to such good old
age?" asked the Sunday school
teacher.
Il spose there wasn't no automo-
bles in his day." replied the boy.
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
AIimony,

"Binks is getting a divorce on the
instailment plan"
On the installment plan?"
fes-he has to pay sum of money
every month in order to keep it."
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
The Last One In,

But you promised you'd wait for
me-" said the Tilted lover
AT that time" the beautiful girl
replied. Il had no reason to believe
that you would prove the Apache of
the bunch"
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
Not a spendthrift Bridegroom.

He's rather close, | understand"
Close! His uncle left him a for
tune on condition that he take a wife
and spend his honeymoon abroad"
..UrnIIou
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
TelItaIe Physioqnomy.

Moe Rose-Jagby has dissipated
looking face.
Joe Cose-Yes. regular gin phiz.
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21

He went over and married a
French girl so as to save her passage
one way"
The La Jara chronicle., 1905-07-21
$IT35lIiiiI!;E%&<5'
ExP1O$IOrS

Made Himself So.
Neerbye-I called to see Brassy
last evening, but he wasn't at home.
Subbubs-Oh. yes he was.
Neerbye-I tell you he wasn't.
Subbubs-But l tell you he was
very much at home. He monopolized
the hammock on our porch all even
ing.
Let Him Retire.
81 see that Jimmy Britt wants to re-
tire from the prize ring"
well, who is holding him?"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1905-09-05
City Has $4,000 Deposited by
Hampton Roads Ry. Co.
ATTORNEY WANTS IT RETURNED
Finance Committee Considers Letter
From MIR. Neims and Asks City At.
torney For an Opinion, to Be Sent to
Council Tonight.

Since the Hampton Roads Railway
and Electric Company was granted H.;
franchise several years ago, Il certified
check for $4,000, deposited to guarai,.
tee the fullillmcnt of enc requirement $
of the franchise, has been in the hands:
of the city treasurer.
The city officials had almost forgot
ten all about the check until n day or
two ago IL letter was received from
Mr.. w. j. Nclms. attorney for the re-.
ccivcrs Of the Hampton Roads Com.
pany, asking that il he returned before
the sale of the road at auction on Oc-
tOhCr ..
This request addressed tn Mr.. w.
b. l.iveZcy chairman OF il.c finance
committee of The council, was the sub.
jcct of an interesting discussion at the
meeting OF the finance committee last
night.
The unanimous opinion was that the
Hampton Reads company had utterly
failed To comply with certain provi-
SionS OF It's franchise and that the
check should he held City Attorney
MaSsic was not present, however. and
the committee decided not 10 take nc.
ton until his advice had been oh.
tanned.
The clerk was instructed tn request
Mr.. Massic ia present II written opinion
upon the question Of whether ornot the
city has right 10 retain the check
TO the common council when thHt body
DlcctS in regular session tonight.
Tho committee recommended that
the salary OF superintendent of Sew
crs j. j. O'Dunncll be increased $40
per month. Tho increase is granted
10 cover The street car fare Of the sun.
printcndcnt.
The matter Of purchasing now hose
Tor the fire department and The pro.
posed changes in the fire alarm sys.
ten were laid ON the table on account
OF lack Of funds.
The committee audited all bills for
the month of August.
Several interesting matters are To be
taken up at toniEht's meeting of the
council, among them the new water
franchise ordinance.