davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1905-07-08
The Star Railway.

Let us suppose a railway to have been
built between the earth and the fixed
star Centauri,' said the lecturer. by
Il consideration of this railways work,
lngs we can get some idea of the enol.
nous distance that intervencs between
Centaurus and us.
Suppose that | should decide to
take trip on this new aerial line to
the fixed star. ask the ticket agent
what the fare is, and he answers:
1.-The fare is very low, sir. 1t is
only a cent each hundred miles
"'And what, at that rate, will the
through ticket one way cost? ask.
"1t will cost you just $3.50, 100000,
he answers.
81 pay for my ticket and board the
train We set off at a tremendous
rate.
"'How fast?' ! ask the brakeman
are we going?'
Sixty miles an hour, says he, and
it's Il through train. There are no stop
pages
"'We'l soon be there, then. won't
we" | resume.
"'We'll make good time, SIR says
the brakeman.
"'And wien will we arrive"
"In just 4S,GG3, 900 years."
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1905-07-08
Telephones Are Often Convenient.

The telephone is Il great convent
ence, though there are housekeepers
who put an "in' before that woru
For instance, the other day a matron
was very busily engaged interviewing
Il prospective coOli-than which there
is no more important employment
when the maid came in to say that
some one wanted to speak to her over
the phone.
Say I'm engaged and cannot GOMEZ
said the lady of the house. irritably
The maid went away, but came back
directly to report that the person at
the telephone would not be Denied
Then the mistress of the mansion
gave in and went, expecting that the
call was an urgent one, announcing
either a birth, death or a marriage,
or, as next in Importance to these
things, an invitation to dinner.
We'll" she called through the
phone.
"Oh, hulloa," replied a strange voice.
This is the house at 1928 Blank
street, isn't it?"
ut is, replied the perplexed house
keeper.
Well" went on the voice. Il wanted
to ask you if you would send some one
over TO 1910, where a Mrs. Brown lives,
and ask her to step to your phone
moment. l wish to speak to her."
But I do not know Mrs. Brown l
never heard of her until now"
"'rhat doesn't make any difference"
insisted the voice. She will be per-
fectly willing to come if you tell her
Nellie wishes to speak to her"
Pm very sorry, but cannot do it,"
said the housekeeper, with decision.
my maids are busy, and so am l, and
have no one to send"
well, all l can say is that you are
exceedingly disagreeable," said the
voice, land it is particularly mean,
since you are the only person who has
Il telephone in that block Good-by
then, if you won't"
But the housekeeper rang off with
out waiting for more, and went back
to the employment of dragging refer
ences from the cook.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1905-07-08
The Chain Was Missing.

Colonel Henry Watterson tells with
gusto of the eccentricities OF Il quaint
character in Frankfort, Ky, named En-
ekiel Hopkins.
Zeke once gained the admiration Of
his fellow townsmen by saving the
lives OF many eXcursionists on Il train
going into Frankfort There had been
a washout, resulting in a spreading of
the rails. Zeke, discovering the dan
ger, tagged the train in time TO pre-
'-ent disaster.
Some weeks thereafter Il committee
f Frankfort citizens called upon Zeke
nd presented him gold watch that
lad been purchased by the contribu-
ions of the toWnspeople. The head OF
the committee, with a grave bow, ap-
)roched Zeke and said:
"Mr. Hopkins, it is the desire of the
good people OF Frankfort that you
shall. in recognition of your valor and
merit, be presented with this watch,
which, they trust, will ever remind
you OF their undying friendship"
Without the least emotion Zeke
elected from his mouth a long stream
of tobacco juice, took the watch from
its handsome case, turned it over in
his wrinkled hand and finally asked,
with the utmost naivette:
"Where's the chain?"
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1905-07-08
Wife's Rash Deed.

l, seems probable that Mr.. and Mrs.
William -Adamson, ISL Adams street
northeast are united in death The
suffering husband was released from
his worldly pain Thursday morning OF
last week at II o'clock at St. Mary's
hospital where he had been taken to
III ,ergo severe surgical operation.
1t is almost certain that his wife,
crazed by the thought OF losing her
husband, to whom she had only been
married eight months previous, threw
herself over the steel arch bridge into
the swollen waters OF the river.
On Tuesday all hopes OF saving the
husbands life we're abandoned by ply
sicians and the wife was told to pre-
pare for the worst. She bore up as
bravely as she could but the blow was
too much for her deranged mind She
conceived the idea of meeting him in
heaven and no mortal man could keep.
her from following her mad desire.
She said she could not live and be
happy and for that reason thought
that death with him would be her last
earthly pleasure.
Mr.. and Mrs. William Adamson,
parents OF her husband, tried to dis
suade her from her purpose. They
pointed out the madness OF her whole
scheme. She would not be heard,
however. Time and time again she
repeated her intention until finally
relatives gave up all hope of saving
her.
Wednesday, therefore, when the re-
port that young woman had thrown
herself over the steel arch bridge
came to their ears members OF the
Adamson family realized that she had
made good her threats. The body has
not been recovered.
The funeral OF William Adamson,
the young husband who so bravely
struggled for months against the
ravages OF disease and who finally suc-
cumbed after several operations at St.
Mary's hospital, was held Saturday
morning last from St. Anthony Of
Padua church. Requiem mass was
offered up for his soul During his
long illness he suffered intense agony
but his faith in God and his religion
made his burden lighter and he passed
away peacefully. He leaves father,
mother and several brothers and Sis
tiers residing at ISL Adams street N. E.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1905-07-08
FROM THE CAPITAL.

]. A. O'Shaughnessy has returned
from an extended trip along thre west
ern and Pacific Coast states, including
most all the southwestern country.
Mr. 'Shaughnessy is recognized as
one of the leading insurance men Of
the United States.
The Ancient Order of Hibernians
of St. Paul gave the largest excursion
of the kind that ever left the St. Paul
levee down the Mississippi and up the
St. Croix, on last Tuesday, July 4th.
Division No. l., A. o. H., has now
one of the very best amateur baseball
teams in the city. The team is con-
tinually issuing challenges and winning
trophies from other like crack local
teams.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1905-07-08

Mayor Lyttle, OF South St. Paul, is
contesting the recent election held at
that prosperous and growing place.
John ]. O'Brien, OF the Court House
force, has recently been appointed to
the police force.
Frank Grant was chairman of the
Hibernian 4th OF July excursion.
Miss Nellie. daughter OF James F.
Maoney, is visiting friends at Grace
vile. MINI.
John l. Farley delivered the 4th OF
July Grafton at Rochester this year.
Supt. Fitzgerald OF the St. Paul
workhouse is contemplating making a
trip to the Emerald Isle and the fair
city OF the violated treaty."
The recent inheritance tax state
mcnts under the inheritance tax law
passed by the recent legislature have
been filed with the state auditor. Five
St. Paul estates come under the pro-
visions of the inheritance tax law
The estate OF Paul D. Ferguson, esti-
mated at $25o,ooo, will pay the state
about $4,000 on a S per cent basis.
The estate is left to one heir, and the
law allows all exemption OF $4,000.
The estate OF Thomas Schnell,
amounting to S71,3oo, will pay tax OF
lk per cent, after $4,000 exemption
has been taken out. The estate OF
Charles T. Dickerman, amounting to
$4,000, is left to five heirs. Each
heir is entitled to $1,000 injunction.
The estate OF katherine Stewart,
amounting to $4,000, and the estate of
Joseph O. Pattee, amounting to
$II5.ooo, also come under the law.
Building permits amounting to more
in dollars and cents than were ever is
i'll any one month since the founding
OF the city is the record OF ST. Paul for
June, when Sl,5oo,ooo worth Of con-
struction work was given official sane
ton.
Delegates from twen,y-six states
will meet in St. Paul on July IL and l2
to discuss the interests OF the National
Children's Home society. 1t is en-
oected that from fifty to sixty repre-
Sentatives OF the various state organi-
cations will attend the conference.
The time will be spent in discussion OF
the work i'll the interests of homeless
children.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1905-07-08

I institution, proud of II c broad acres
surrounding it, proud OF you people
who are now SO Loyalty supporting it.
1t was in the early COS that l first
came to St. Paul.
1T was i'll 1868 that came to Mini
neapolis to live. The city was little
more than a village then. The loyal
| Catholics under my care could hardly
I find a place to meet at that time. but
! We built a .shanty church so rapidly
that it went up as ii by magic. began
to feel rich and have felt rich ever
since. Look at this throng. think OF
the parishes it represents, the work
done and the growing institutions! 1t
makes me feel old in way. can,
say just why. but it does.
ut pleases me to know. however,
that was one OF the pioneers in work
which has progressed so iavorably. !
hope to live to see many more such
picnics, for this one is indeed en-
couraging.'
Bishop keanc, also an old reSiden,
OF Minneapolis, was also surprised and
delighted. Both he and Bishop Cotter
said the picnic was revelation in a
way, for it brought to them d full real
ization OF what the Catholics could do
The popularity prize contest between
young women OF the different parishes
resulted in victory for Miss Anna
Kennedy OF the Ascension parish who
succeeded i'll raising SI.ooSos. Miss
Frances Vincent oil Immaculate Con-
ccption parish won second prize. hav-
ing raised $l,o2695. Miss Helen Tullcy
OF St. Stephens parish raised $5os.46
and took third prize. The contes, had
been on for a couple OF weeks and the
final announcements were not made
until late in the evening. The seven
contestants all did good work. Two
OF them withdrew early in the day.
the others working up to the last
minute.
Miss Kennedy will be given a free
trip to the Lewis and Clark exposition.
Miss Vincent will get diamond ring
and Miss Tulley a gold watch.
The others in the contest were Mrs.
Alice Irwin Dobbs. St. Anthony par
ish; Miss Alice Moore. St. Charles
parish: Miss Mary Wel,er, Notrc
Dame parish; Miss Gilmore. St. Law
renee parish. 1t was Miss Gilmore
and Miss Wclter who withdrew IRON
the contest before the finish. Miss
Moore raised S376.35 and Mrs. Dobbs
raised $4,000.
The officers OF the picnic associa
ton, TO whom was given much OF the
credit for the success OF the picnic,
were: P. j. Kennedy, presidents; HUI
bert Kelley. secretary; William Rca,l,
treasurer.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1905-07-08
WITH THE DEAD.

On Tuesday last at his home 1OOG
Fourth street north, William Brown
passed away at the age of So years,
leaving a widow and five children.
The funeral was held yesterday morn
ing from the Immaculate Conception
church at nine o'clock. Interment
at St. Mary's cemetery.
While in Minneapolis on a visit to
her sister, Mrs. Potter, 1923 Logan
avenue north, Mrs. Catherine Logan
of Parkersburg, Iowa, was taken ill,
and died on Wednesday last. Her re-
mains were taken to her former home
in Iowa for interment.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1905-07-08

900, which would have carried 81 ,uO0.-
tuC tons OF merchandise annually. We
We're prepared to do the work in four
years. This looked too much like a
canal, and the grea, influences behind
the present lransconlinental Transport
tation business suddenly ceased OPP
posing the canal project and pushed
the clamor over to Panama. The men
who run our big railroads know what
Panama is. BY the Nicaragua route
as projected Il ship could leave New
DIRK harbor and arrive in San Fran
cisco in is days. No freight train is
now scheduled to go overland inside of
23 days. That's what struck in the
Nicaragua project. Red tape, civil
service reform and yellow fever will
do the rest
do you suppose congress will 90 on
putting up money for Sravestones and
quinine down there? | am glad am
not in it. Everybody down there wants
w w Wilal NdiitCc ulu, u! Will inc
boss of the whole works is doing--live
III New York and run ii by proxy Why
should Shonts or Wallace be chosen
TO dig the canal anyway! They never
lid Il piece of work in their lives of
this sort or anything calculated to
equip them for doing it, Every man
selected so far TO do the work has been
clicked from Il tranScontinental rail
"oad. Would YOU pick Il competitor to
Guild competing business? They
nay be all right, but none of ii looks
like Il canal TO me-"
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1905-07-08
CANAL A HUMBUG.
Cannot Be Built, Says J. D. Yeomans
of Sioux City,

OF Sioux City.
wallace was right when he re-
igned as chief engineer of the Panama
canal commission" said j. d. Yeomans
of Sioux City, Iowa, in a sensational
interview there Thursday.
Mr.. Yeomans resigned six months
ago, after having served a decade on
the interstate commerce commission.
Continuing, he said:
"Wallace made fool of himself try
ing to tell why. All he should have
said was, 4 have had enough Of Pana-
ma, and resign
ut is no place for anyone to stay.
Before was moved off the interstate
commerce commission it was intimat-
ed to me that | would be valuable
man in Panama. No Panama for me-
not for $1,000 minute. didn't come
to this world to die; l came to live.
1.-The Panama canal is the biggest
humbug of the age. Z have no hest
fancy in saying that. in my opinion,
there will never be a canal built there.
No important American engineer who
was not paid for it ever hazarded the
opinion that there would be canal
there. The last monthly report of the
work done shows that it will take 40
years to finish it, The weeds grow in
one end faster than they carry the
dirt out of the other.
mo engineer has ever lound rock
or clay bed in that celebrated Culebra
cut, where the United States has done
the most of it's work. There has been
cut of $50 feet there and 80 inches
of rain falls in 80 hours down those
banks. Does anyone suppose that the
alluvial soil won't wash down in there
to make a mud canal too thick for a
government dredge boat to keep afloat
Ia?
1.-THE Nicaragua route was feasible,
and for that reason it wa6 abandoned.
/ was a member of the syndicate pue-
pared to build the canal for $500, 000,.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1905-07-08

and china. She then read some recent
works upon the appointments of tie
table, and in short time, by apply.
ing herself to the business, became the
Germ.
In Il millincr's establishment the
young woman who found time for read
ing BOOK or two Y colOrs and their
harmonious combination, found her
own taste greatly improved and her
ability to please patrons greater. She
was soon Il favorite with employers
and customers.
The young woman who, to earn an
honorable living. went into Il ladys
Kitchen and, instead of gossiping CIV.
cry evening, found time to read a few
good books and household papers, was
soon too valuable a housekeeper to be
kept in Il subordinate position in the
kitchen. She knew how a table should
look for an informal dinner: she knew
what dishes were in season; she knew
how to serve Il meal in it's p:oper
courses; and. more than that, she
knew something about the food value
of different dishes.
A fair average of good sense and
proper amount of application will ac-
complish almost anything.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1905-07-08
Hibernians at Litchfield.

The state officers of the A. o. H.
have organized division of the Anci.
ent Order of Hibernians at Litchfield,
to be known as Div. No. / of Meeker
county. Though yet few in numbers
the members are imbued with the
proper spirit and the indications point
to big increase soon. The ladies
too, are becoming active and division
of the Auxiliary is looked for in a
short time.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1905-07-08

$21.35 To Asbury Park, N. j. $21.a5
And return, via the Nickel Plate road.
Tickets good via New York city.
Dates OF sale, June 20 and 30 and July
l and 2, with extreme return limit of
August 81, by depositing ticket. Chi
street and Auditorium Annex. Depot,
La Sale and Van Buren, streets, on
Elevated loop.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1905-07-08
Be Useful,

A young woman recently found en-
ployment in queensware store. She
began course of study in
her leisure moments upon glassware
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1905-07-08
she-what would you do, George, i

oAS '" AoS "OuAu yOu Wv, NSOA Sc, ~
you were left a widower?
He-Oh, suppose pretty much the
same as you if you were left widow.
She-Oh, you wretch! And you al.
ways told me you could never love any
body else!
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1905-07-08

The city board OF equalization will
convene Monday afternoon for the an.
nual session which is held to pass up.
on such assessments as are thought
to be too high by the Assesses. The
board, which is identical with the coun-
Gil committee on taxes, is as follows:
Alderman Bow, chairman; Chatfield,
Hines, Duryea and Westphal. Ac-
cording to the provisions of the chart
err, the board meets every year on
the second Monday in July, and the
decision reached by the board in any
particular assessment is final, except
that the taxpayer has the right to ap-
peal to the supreme court. The
chances are that the number Of ap-
peals for change in property assess
ments will be the largest in recent
years. The city assessor has raised
the assessment on personal property
in the city about 100000 over the
figures for last year, and the assess.
ments on realty are nearly 100000
greater than year ago. The increase
in personal property assessments for
the most part effects persons who had
never paid any taxes, or who, in the
opinion of the taxassessors, have not
paid anywhere nearly enough. The
result of the raise is likely to be an un.
| usually lively session of the board OF
equalization, which is likely to have
business enough to take up the entire
month that is allotted to it to com
plete its work.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-09-19

The regular September term of cour
for 1905 was convened at l:S0 o'elocl
yesterday afternoon by Judge Mcbride
At the opening session the following
named Jurors were excused for tn,
terms. Victor Miller, Etna Warnstaff
Geo. Sold, F. Z. Wright, G. W, Louns'
berry. John Wilkinson and R. A. Rice
The following formal orders were is
sued: Sadie r. Schussel ed al, VS.. I
Cadigan, set for argument Friday, Sept
%.
Columbia River Packing association
VS.. Hans Peterson, ct al, settled on
stipulation.
Nellie Parker, vs.. Eben P. Parker, set
tied and dismissed.
Masonic Land and Building associa-
tion VS.. Oregon Railroad and Naviga-
tion, settled and dismissed
H. W. Cyrus ct al, vs.. ]. S. Delling.
er. set for trial Sertember 20.
L. A. Larson Nandrup, vs.. Charles c.
Rosenberg, and A. kiljunen, settled and
dismissed.
A. A. Cook VS.. Caspar Drilling, Marie
Drilling and W. B. Hayden, set for ar.
gument on demurrer, today.
Patrick McGarth, VS.. A. ". Lambert,
settled.
J. P. Scothan, VS.. c. c. Clarke, set for
argument on demurrer Wednesday, Sept.
20.
Keating and Flood VS.. Annie Abbott,
temporary injunction made perpetual.
NJ. r. Sherwood VS.. The South Aber-
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-09-19
<<<<>><>>>>>>><<<
. PERSONAL MENTION. .
<<><>>>>>>><><<<>

Mrs. II. c. Roopcr has arrived home
from pleasant trip TO he Dalles.
Mrs. I. J. Davidson and Mrs. A. NJ
Stump win leave for their Salem home
ON this morning. train. They have been
the guests OF Mr.. and Mrs. Geo. Blessing
Capt. II. o. Lanfari has arrived home
from weeks outing at Portland and
the fair.
Mr. and Mrs. J. c. Stanley departed
for a ten days stay In Portland, Via the
Telegraph, Yesterday.
". +. Shipe OF the o. II. & y. Office
was Portland visitor over Sunday and
was at hi, desk yesterday.
Hon. VI. 7. Calender took flyer 10
this city yesterday on the Telegraph.
from hi. Portland home. Tie will be
he scleral days.
Charles Humphrey. OF the Postal ser.
vice has returned from Portland and Is
busy in hi- Commercial street office. Mrs.
Humphrey return. today.
captain AMI Mrs Babbidge Of the
steamer Electro, went TO Portland for
a iey days visit. on the Telegraph yes.
terday.
Capt. Gco /. Coolaie departed for hi.
new pot at Boston, and his home, near
Danbury, Conn, on the evening express
for Portland.
Mrs. !. Cohen left for a weeks visit
with Portland friends, yesterday.
Miss Baldwin and Miss Ella Thomp.
son have gone TO Deer Island on Wis.
II.
Mr.. and Mrs. Paul Badollet have re.
turned from a visit TO Portland.
Mrs. II. q. Van Dusen and daughters
left for Portland yesterday.
Chick Jones leaves today for Madi.
son. Wis, where he win begin a four
years course in civil engineering at the
state university.
Mrs. Phillips, who has been visiting
Mis- May Mager has returned to her
home in Portland.
Mrs. +. H. Prael has returned from
visit TO the exposition.
Geo Harrington editor Of the Cathla.
met Sun, was in the city yesterday.
Judge Carey Of Portland was in the
city yesterday.
Mr.. Bernhard Ledenberger has re.
turned from business trip TO Black
Diamond, Cal, Mrs. Ledenberger stop.
ped over at Portland TO visit friends ar.
irving here this evening.
Mrs. Charles w. Holmes and children
returned TO their Astoria home on the
night express from Portland last even.
ing.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-09-19
Are You Engaged7 2

Engaged people should remember that,
after marriage, many quarrels can be
avoided, by keeping their digestions in
good condition with Electric Bitters. s.
A. Brown Of Bennettsville, s. c., says,
For years, my wife suffered intensely
from dyspepsia, complicated with tor.
pid liver, until she lost her strength and
vigor, and became q mere wreck Of hei
former self. Then she tried Electric
Biters, which helped her at once, and
finally made her entirely well. She Is
now strong and healthy" Chas. Rogers,
druggist, sells and guarantees them, at
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1905-09-19
THE COUNTY COURT.

The adjourned session of the county
court was held yesterday at 10 o'clock
when the bids for roofing the new court
house and for the Improvement of county
road No. 81, district |, were opened.
Three bids were submitted for the
roofing of the court house.
c. f. johnson, sl265.25; Frederickson
Bros, two-ply rubberiod, $1,000; C. j.
Palmberg, SlSs9.Oo.
The bid of Frederickson Bros, be-
ing the lowest, the contract was ordered
awarded to him on furnishing bonds in
the sum Of 500.
In the matter of planking the Warren
town road only one bid was submitted,
! that of r. A. Abbott, who agreed to do
the work for SIPS per rod and as the
court considered this sum to be as rea.
sonable as the work could he done by
day labor, he was awarded the contract.
the distance to be controlled BY the
amount of special funds allotted to that
district.
No further business coming before the
court it adjourned sine die.
An order was made in the probate
court yesterday authorizing the sale of
the personal property belonging to the
estate of James Brown, deceased.