The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1905-06-03

Any germs In this milk p "Not th.&
! know OF. No extra charges - +h.-.
are" u tnere
Anicker-Didn't the doctor bn,ld
you up? Bocker-Yes; but he seem.
Bazaar. yer
W1lliam-There's one thing about
MISS Charming's house I don,t nte
Arthur-What's that? William-He,
father.
Meekly-Yes, we're going to move
S"amphurst Doctor-But the eli.
mate there may disagree with yonr
wire. Meekly-It wouldn't dareLTit.
Bits. ~
Teacher-Now, Johnny, If your papa
caught one fish Of three pounds, one of
nve and one Of four, how much would
tney all weigh? Johnny-Twenty-
Harper's Bazaar.
Mrs. Flynn-An phwat's yer son
Molke dom now, Mrs. Casey? Mrs.
Casey-Shure, Moike amt dom annv-
thing, Mrs. Flynn. He's got a eoyer,-
ment Job.-Sis Hopkins Book.
Hes thorough Bohemian is Jack !"
cried an actor in praise of an acouaint-
ance. He'd give you his last shilling
without thought of repayment" "Yes.
or borrow yours on the same termsv'
responded his friend.
Editor-So you want a position "a
weather reporter, Ell? .What do you
know about reporting the weather?
Hiram Boots-What do 1 know? Gosh.
I've got the biggest corns in this here
county.-Chicago News.
Mamma-There! You have a black
eye and bloody nose and your coat
IL torn to bits. How many times have
l told you not to play with that bad
Brown boy? Bobby-Gee, ma! Do I
look like we'd been a-playin' aCleve-
land Leader.
Modern Mother-Why, child alive,
what are you taking OF that dolly's
clothes for? Modern Child-I'm going
to famine her to see If she's been vac
c1nated. I can't have 'erspreadin'
| 'tagion among my other dollies- Balti-
more American.
"Oh! Ouch! Stop thatY' yelled Tom
my. why, Tommy, aren't you asham.
edw exclaimed his mother. II wouldn't
cry like that If it were my hair that
was being combed" "I'll bet you
would If I was doin' the combin'," re-
piled Tommy, fiercely.-Catholic Stand
ard.
You can't show me single rea-
son." clustered the pater familias,
why we should 60 to the seashore
this summer" 'What?" cried his
wife, pointing to their quartet Of mar
riageable daughters, II can show you
four single reasons" -Philadelphia
Press.
what a nice little boy" said the
minister, who was making a call;
won't you come and shake hands.
my sonT" "Naw" snapped the nice
little boy. my gracious! Don't you
like me? "Naw! 1 had ter git me
hands an face washed jist because
you come"
There was q smell of cookies in the
kitchen when Tommy made his morn
ing call on his grandmother. Il sup
pose you have just had your breakfast,
| Tommy" she said, land you're not
hungry" "Gran'ma," he answered,
boys Is always hungry."-Chicago
Tribune.
Jim Persimmons-I reckon OATS
ten-horse-power automobile! Pete
Possum-Wot! You reckon dat ma
chimes got ten times as much power
as dis horse o. mine? Jim Persim-
mons-No; twenty times as much; dat
looks like a one-half horsepower horse
dat you got darLPuck.
Clara-You don't mean to say you
have been out skating all the after
noonI should think you'd be awfully
bred. l suppose there was no place
where you could sit down? Kate-Oh,
yes, there were places all over the
pond. / used them all, / guess-Cin-
cinnati Commercial Tribune.
Miss Screech-He said something 10
You about my singing last night, didn't
he? Miss Feppery-Well, he old re-
mark how funny the corners OF your
month looked when you sang. the
idea! How could he have seen them!
"Why not? He was sitting directly
behind you while you sang."-Catholic
Standard and Times.
LADY entered railway station moi
a hundred miles from Edinburgh the
other day, and said she wanted q ticket
for London. The pale-looking clerk
asked: "single2' 1T amt any OF your
bnsiness," she replied. II might have
heen married dozen times II Ia IKE
the providin' for some poor snlI'iess
wrack OF a man like you"
The editor Of a country paper re-
Gently apologized to his readers TOT
the lack OF news somewhat after tne
following fashion: I'VE expected 70
have death and marriage 70 an
nounce thi. week; but violent storm
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