West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1905-07-06

Excursions. No one can estimate
the amount of happiness that my
honored friend Lanham has gotten
out OF his free picnics and excur.
sions TO the dear and beloved Sun
day school children. The next cen
sus will show a marked increase in
Sunday school attendance siRce
Bro. Lanham inaugurated the free
picnics and excursions. Bro. Lam
ham writes me that many of the
maiden ladies who have passed the
chewing gum age join in the free
picnics and excursions. He vows
that Legislature that will not pass
salary grab fund cannot return to
their homes.
We have just started State Tax
Commissioner Dillon out on a leo.
turing tour on our new tax laws.
You may expect him in Preston at
an early date. We hope to hear of
standing room to be at a premium
wherever he lectures in Preston.
He has many pictures illustrating
the increased wealth of the farm and
the artificial growth of the products
of the farm when examined by the
x-rays OF our new tax laws. The
Governor and myself are exceeding
ly anxious that Comrade Lee Shaw
DC given a front seat when Commits
sioner Dillon lectures in Kingwood.
There are many reasons why the
farmers do not understand our tax
laws, and the foremost one is that
they cannot see how the farmers
have increased in wealth so rapidly.
Bro. Dillon will explain all this, if
they ask no questions. He may
possibly lose the trend of his dis
course if suddenly interrupted by
some one who is not friendly to our
Interpretation. Both friend and foe
of our tax laws agree that their fate
at the next election depends upon
the Interpretation.
A friend from Preston was telling
me that my much-beloved friend
Col. Bob Hollis has been decidedly
provoked by the raise in his beautl-
full dwelling. He states that Assess.
or Jud Orr raised Col. Bob's resi-.
dence from $3.50 to So, 500 in twenty
seconds. There is no room for dis
cussion but this was a sudden raise
in real estate, but Assessor Jud Orr
is one of the lightning calculatOrs
that we have in the field and he
don't have to count the units, tens,
hundreds and thousands on his fin
gers like many whom we have in the
isolated districts who have been de
prived Of college and university
education like the Governor and
myself. 1t is compulsory with such
people to utilize their fingers in adj
dItlon and subtraction. Charley
Swisher tells me that he knows quite
number of men who have risen to
eminence and fortune that use no
other method when they dispose of
their coal, gas and oil. 1t is the
proud boast of Charley that before
he was elevated to be politician
and State official that he had TO re-
sort to the fingers when he was up
against knotty problem. Until /
adopted journalism used the finger
calculator. 1t is Natures own in.
vention.
Say to my friends back in Preston
that have had but ten Nightmares
since my last letter to them. The
Governor and / feel that the crisis
has passed and from now on we
will rapidly improve.
The Governor and myself are Just
in receipt of the pleasing Informa-
ton that Deacon Brown is the proud
father of bouncing baby girl We
have wired our congratulations and
appraised Teddy that the stalwart
leader of Democracy in the Banner
county cannot be placed on the 400
list. The Deacon has set an exam
pie for the forlorn Democrats of
Preston that if they adopt means
danger to the Republican majority.
Ever since have known the Dea-
con he has been divising schemes
whereby to reduce the Republican
majority in Preston. For the last
two elections he has reduced the
Banner which has been anything but
satisfactory to the Governor and
myself. If he keeps 1t up it will
not be safe for Uncle Joe and Cou-
sin Baldwin to run again, although
we need them to sustain friend Ian
hams salary grab fund.
THE RAMBLER.