Alaska sentinel., 1905-07-06

hnlcEer-Dldnt the doctor build you up? Bocker-Yes; but he seems to think he built a bank.-Harper's Bazar.
 William-There's one thing about Miss Charming's house I don't like. Arthur-Whats that? william-Hes father.
 Meekly-Yes, we're going to move to Swamphurst Doctor-But the cll- mate there may disagree with your wife. Meekly-It wouldn't dare.-Tlt- Bits.
 Teacher-Now, Johnny, If your papa caught one fish of three pounds, one of five and one of four, how much would they all weigh? Johnny-Twenu- Harper's Bazar.
 Mrs. Flynn-An phwat's yer son Moike doin' now, Mrs. Casey? Mrs. Casey-Shure. Moike ain't doin' amy. thing, Mrs. Flynn. He's got a goyer'- ment job.-Sls Hopkins Book.
 Hes 6 thorough Bohemian is Jack" cried an actor in praise Of an acquaint- ence. He'd give you his last shilling without thought of repayment" "Yes, or borrow yours on the same terms" responded his friend.
 Editor-So you want 6 position as weather reporter, eh7 What do you know about reporting the weather? Hiram Boots-What do I know7 Gosh, I've got the biggest corns in this here county.-Chicago News.
 Mamma-There. You have a black eye and a bloody nose and your coat Is torn to bits. How many times have I told you not to play with that bad Brown boy? Bobby-Gee, ma. Do I look like we'd been a-playin' ?-Cleve- land Leader.
 Modern Mother-Why. child alive, what are you taking off that dolly's clothes for? Modern Child-I'm going to 'zamine her to see If she's been vac. cinated. I can't have 'erspreadin' 'tagion among ny other dollies-Balti. more American.
 "Oh. Ouch! Stop that" yelled Tom my. Why, Tommy. aren't you ashan. ed" exclaimed his mother. T wouldn': cry like that if 1t were my hair that was being combed" 'T'll bet you would If I was doin' the combin'," re- piled Tommy, fercely.-Catholic Stand ard
 You can't show me a single req son." clustered the pater familias, ''why we should go to the seashore this summer" "What?" cried his wife, pointing to their quartet of mar riageable daughters, ''I can show you four single reasons. Press
 What a nice little boy" said the minister, who was making call; wont you come and shake hands, my sonT Nav" snapped the nice little boy. My gracious. Don't you like me?" Nav. had ter git me hands an face washed 1ist because you come"
 There was q smell of cookies in the kitchen when Tommy made his morn ing call on his grandmother. 'I SUD- pose you have just had your breakfast, Tommy" she said, and you're not hungry" "Gran'ma," he answered, boys Is always hungry."-Chicago Tribune.
 Jim Persimmons-I reckon dat's a ten-horse-power automobile. Pete Possum-Wot. You reckon dat ma. chimes got ten times as much power as dis horse O minef Jim Persim- mons-So; twenty times as much; dat looks like a one-half horsepower horse dat you got dar.-Puck.
 Clara-You don't mean to say you have been out skating all the after noon! I should think you'd be awfully tired I suppose there was no place where you could sit down? Kate-Oh, yes, there were places all over the pond. I used them all, I guess-Cin- cinnati Commercial Tribune.
 Miss Screech-He said something to you about my singing last night, didn't he? Miss Peppery-Well, he did re- mark how funny the corners of your mouth looked when you sang. The idea! How could he have seen themT "why not? He was sitting directly behind you while you sang."-Cathollc Standard and Times.
 A lady entered a railway station not 6 hundred miles from Edinburgh the other day, and said she wanted ticket for London. The pale-looking clerk asked: Single" Tt ain't any of your business" she replied. 'I might have been married a dozen times if I'd like the providin' for some poor shiftless wreck of man like you"
 The editor of a country paper re- gently apologized to his readers for the lack of news somewhat after the following fashion: We expected to have a death and a marriage to an. nounce this week; but a violent storm prevented the wedding, and the doctor himself having been taken i'll his pa. tent recovered and W. were accord.