Los Angeles herald., 1905-02-15

Did you ever sit behind an obstreper-
Gus large black hats at the theater and
wish for and say things to yourself and
after your vision had been obstructed
on every side, you had begun to wonder
whether you We're living in modern
times or in the day of barbaric theater
head wear?
Well, not long ago l went to the thea
ter and was comfortably settled after
having removed my own chapeau and
giving my hair few finishing pats
Everything went lovely and I saw
dozen or more friends with 'hom L
exchanged bows across the theater and
settled back for a real nice evening,
the play being a good one.
But my troubles came in the form of
a pert young female and a hat. 1t
was a glorious thing with all sorts of
bewidering trimming, the glory of
which lay in it's being topped off with "a
black veil, the kind you purchase to
wear over your seasons hat when you
are trying to make it last till the open
ing day at your milliners.
This young being sat plump in front
of me. She did not come in until the
middle of the first act, and after she
was settled and several persons in
proximity had got over gasping at her
entree, we began to watch for the re-
moval of the affair on her head. Well,
she made no move to do so and as she
was evidently one of the disciples of the
''snakentine" dance she did some real
graceful pirouettes and moved with
agility from one side of her seat to
the other. BY the end of the act she
hadn't me beaten at all in the quick
movement business, and / could tell
Just when she would bob her head to
one side and | would bob mine TO the
other until ] began to feel that ! could
dodge anything that should come my
way and see more of the stage from
behind the biggest obstruction than
anybody in the theater.
Finally it occurred to me that my
adversary with the hat was an in
truder and that an ordinance exists
forbidding. the wearing o. such during
the performance. So, in my sweetest
possible manner 1 reached over and
asked her to remove the offending
ornament. She ignored me, Then
sent for an usher, who came down,
took in the situation and told me he
was not on duty Then l insisted on
one being sent one who was. About
this time it was even money on who
would win
Then came second usher who
simply looked at milady and she COM
piled with the request made by me, but
indorsed by forty within the radius of
sixteen aises.
On leaving the theater this is what 1
overheard in the foyer.
The second usher was telling just
how it happened to a third ditto:
"Well you sec that's his steady, mean
ing the first usher, "and she had just
got that hat and she thought it was
dead SWell. Ou see ne ana lne SOil
have a bad case Of love at first sight
and he was so weak that he told her
she could wear the hat If she wanted
to. Now she is used to reading story
books where there are knights and
ladies and coal black steeds and she
had fitted him to hero in one Bertha
Clay's fine novels, so he didn't dare tell
her that he didn't own the theater and
that he would die for her. But as for
me, we'll"
Now | have always been obliged to
remove my hat and l had grown to be-
lieve that managers had long ago en-
forced the shedding Of hats at the very
first raise of the curtain. But OF late
one seems to have but little rights
after securing ones seat in being able
to view performance. II seems as II