Waterbury evening Democrat., 1905-08-11
MARRIED LIFE DuLL2.
IT MAY OR MAY NOT BE AS
 WE MAKE IT.
When Mated Unhappily, Life Is Either a Bore or Quarrel
 All Depends on How
 We Live It.


 ple who are married have told me that | living perpetually with one person is dull. What is one to say?" one lady 1 asked me. "All ones conversation | gets exhausted in time, and one can't keep on perpetually repeating the same thing" Cannot one? Most of us do, think. It seems to me that I often hear remarks from my friends that I have heard before from them, and I am sure that 1 myself unblush- ingly reiterate certain little platitudes for which have a fondness, inherited or acquired. That people who have been married a long time do often sink into the heavy silence Of mu- tual boredom cannot be contested. fear. But then, so do people who have been married only very short time. Charles Halle, the pianist, once yawned at me when he was playing the Moonlight Sonata"at Clifton. How many husbands and wives have I not seen yawning at each other when they were playing the domestic duet, which, if all things were ideal, should be forever vii vacious, engaging, and as delightful to the performers as to the lockers on. The great silence that often reigns over honeymoons has dis tressed me many times. l frequent hotels, and so, at certain seasons, do honeymooners. I, therefore, very often have them under observation: and the love of truth compels one to state that the average honeymoon couple is-well, how shall put it?- decidedly reticent of speech. 1 once remarked to an optimistic 'friend on this fact His reply was, "Oh, they aren't thoroughly accustomed to each other yet. They'll chatter fast enough when once they shake down." The worst of 1t is that by the time they have shaken down"-what TO- mantle process that must be, by the way!-they often seem to have said | all they have to say, and to have scarcely even a purr left in them. | Of course many people of a romantic ! turn of mind attribute the dumbness of honeymooners to rapture. They are supposed to be speeches. with rapture. My own impression is that, as a rule great happiness unlocks the tongue if one is with a thorough ly sympathetic person. It makes one long to exchange happy impressions, to give out happy thoughts. It sweeps away reserve But then, 1 have never gone through a honeymoon. Perhaps when I do-if I ever dol, too. shall sit on a garden bench by my chosen bride. staring at nothing, and punctu. ating the enchanted silence with those grimaces which denote the birth and death of the partially sup pressed yawn. ....
 But now, away with testing on Sc. rious subject. It seems to me that when two people are really and thor. oughly in sympathy they seldom, or never, become selfconscious with each other. seldom or never have to search about for subjects of conver- sation. Life, the life of day by day lived comfortably in harmony, pre-. sents endless opportunities for the ex. change of ideas, endless topics of discussion. They "crop up" as the flowers do in spring. innumerable as the buttercups and daisies in the grasses. There is no need to search for them.
 The sad truth is. I suppose, that a great many people marry unhappily, No star dances on their wedding days
 They are unfitted to live together
 and so. when they do live together either quarrelling or dulness sets in
 The fate they have selected acts upon them either as an irritant or as SO
 porifc. It is quite a mistake to sup
 pose that if one dull person comes across another dull person. and they enter into matrimony. they will nee
 essarily be dull together-that is dull to each other If they suit each other they will not. Dull to you. to me yes; but not dull to each other. Many
 dull husband mated to a dull wife
 has said to me confidentialy: Nc
 one who hasn't lived. as have, with
 Mrs. Jones for 20 years can form ] an idea of her cleverness. Her in
 sight. I give you my word. is some thing wonderful" and so on and sc
 forth. And so says Mrs. Jones oi , NIT. Jones. know that Mrs. Jones has a head as empty as a sieve. and that Mir. Jones is the greatest bore ir
 Christendom; but 10 each other this
 worthy pair of people appear shining . with briIlisncy why2 They ars
 suited to each other. That is all The person vho thoroughly suits us car
 never seem to us dull.
 All this bother about the dulness o
 married life is rather ridiculous. Mar
 ried life is not necessarily dull. an, 1, more than the life of a bishop or { | bargee. a princess or a Pomeranfsr
 dog is necessarily dull It all depends
 on the people who enter into 1t ! Where there is no natural sympathy ! there viIl certainly be either duinesi !. or despair. We should choose care | fuIl-, then. and re should never q
 that most foolish of all the nsnl
 foolish things called worldly vise--
 ve should never marry for position