The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-02-03

smiles at me and beckons with his
finger, and when don't notice him he
calls out:
".Hey, old gaI-come and sit down
on me knee!'
you can imagine me embarrassing
position, Mrs. Finnegan. There were
twenty ladies of US in that car with
our good clothes and our dignity, and
of course when he called out all eyes
were fastened on me. 1 pretended to
be what they calls oblfvious to the sit
uation, but what does Mike do but pull
a pint bottle out of his pocket and ask
me to take a warmer. Wild that the
conductor heaven bless him, chucled
him off, and in me confusion / also re-
tired. Yes, Mrs. Finnegan, I retired by
way of the rear platform, but not with
undue haste nor lack of dignity. The
people must have believed that had
reached me own mansion.
when the car had passed on me and
Mike O'Leary was left standing there,
and as he begins to smile at me 1 walks
UP and cuffs him and bangs him about
till they heard him yelling block
away. I hear that he's complaining to
the neighbors about me, and that he
says I couldn't be a lady if I lived to
be hundred years old, but of course
that is all spite work. Mister Mike
O'Leary is no longer on me visiting list,
and I have no hesitation in saying that
he's no gentleman. Should he have the
audacity to call on me the butler has
his instructions to perform the cold
chuck If he don't. then 1 will. Do you
blame me, Mrs. Finnegan2'
mot at all, Mrs. McG1ory. I'm only
wondering that you had as much pa
thence as you did. Mrs. OFlaherty was
giving We a snub in me presence last
night"
"And what was the cross-eyed Mrs
O'Flaherty saying. if it's no secret2'
THAT Pat McGlory would be bust
ed man if we kept on wild yer extrava-
gances.
you shall be the judge. Look at me,
Mrs. Finnegan, and tell me if I'm look
ing like a lady-one of the upper
crust p
.'Bedad, if you amt"
-'And how do I do it2 The corset
have on was bought at a bargain sale
for 63 cents; me shoes was another bar
gain at a dollar and Il half: me stock
ings was marked down from 40 cents
to 10 to close out the stock; this dress
was turned top to bottom and colored
blue, and that hat of mine I picked -
on the street after a row between
dozen females. Me whole outfit don't
stand me SIS, and yet it's the outfit of
a lady and the best by long odds II
the tiniment."
Put how is it that We got to be
such a grand lady. Mrs. McGlory?"
I'm the first place, Mrs. Finnegan. II s
in thinking We are better than those
around We. If We think long enough
veil make yerself believe it. Next. it's
in going through yer husbands pockets
at night and having change IN the
house to attend bargain sales When
We find a woman who never attends
bargain sales don't look for a lady. It's
the one great chance in this world to
sass the sales girls and show off. If ye
have only IS cents wild We, We can make
everybody believe that it's SIS. Lastly
Mrs. FfnRegan, it's the manner. I've
got a French book here, and I'm con-
tinually picking out words and saving
'ern up Did I use the word contre-
temps a bit ago@
tsI0iviI take me if I remember"
Il meant to. at least and three or
four others. 1 have no butler or foot
man, but I'm making meself believe Il,
which is the same thing. and no uni
forms to buy nor wages to pay When
me man Pat comes home I fire off q
dozen big words at him, and instead
ready / announce that the banquet
waits If we have a pitcher of beer on
the table it's the easiest thing in the
world to make ourselves believe that
the butler is a pouring out champagne
Dear me, but I wish could be q
lady, Mrs. McGlory-'
But We can't, Mrs Finnegan. To
some it's given, and to others they cant
catch on. It was given to me. and De
gobs! I'm the rale article. and when
ever We run across any of the other tin
ants We can put to them that I'm hon
oring the block by consenting to I'VE
here. I'm simply doing it to show thar,
while I'm the genuine article. I'm not
one of the stuck-up brand. IN willing
that others should see me close at haad
and take pattern by me."-(COpyr1ght
1905. by T. c. McClure).