Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-12-30
WAYS OF THE LAGGERS
The Voyagers Who Are Al
ways Late
FOR OCEAN STEAMERS
HOW THEY GIVE VENT TO THEIR
FEELINGS.
Always One or Two Persons Who
FOR OCEAN STEAMERS
Always One or Two Persons Who
Reach the Dock After the Ship
Has Pulled Out.

| While over in New York while ago the
writer accompanied a Washington friend
man who had entered the United States
consular service. to the pier of a famous
| line OF steamers. to give him godspeed on
his departure for his European post. When
| the "All ashore" warning was sounded
| hustled down the gangway of the steamer
to the pier. just as a hanson cab tina,
seemed to be In heap Of a hurry clattered
circuitously through the jam of wagons and
trucks There was ''het-up' looking man
IN the cab. He was wriggling around in
his seat and bawang at the driver of the
CAD TO make some more haste, and the jehu
was in his turn bowling at the truckmen
under the pier shed to turn out and give
him some more room. The unshippiug of
the Eangways was by this time in progress,
and the steamer was ready to move out
Well. l was waiting for that one.'
growied the old pier Waterman. who was
standing close to the main gangway.
watching these proceedings. Il knew he'd
be along I wouldn't ma felt comfortable
IT he hadn't showed up. I don't think a
ship could have any luck on her passage
IL there wasn't at least one of EN-. Some
times there are several of EN-"
Several what?' the old pier watchman
was asked
Layers. call en-" replied the old pier
watchman. Folks that stop on their way
TO steamer to play marbles or Jacks or
peg-top-the ones that come a-scrambling
along when the chief engineers standing
by to get his first bells from the bridge
I've been standing watch along the fronts
or these docks since the days when the
sfdewheel packets had the passenger trade
0. the western ocean, and not once have
ever seen ship all ready to slide out with
out one or more Of these laggers bounc-
q hn 10 CT ny,,,,f
They're about equally divided between
men and women. And when they're left
they always make a noise like Pelee blow
ing of her head. If the lager is a man
he'll like as not dance around on the end
Of the pier and shake his fist at the ship
out In the stream, and bawl about the
thing being a put-up job. and threaten to
sue the company for four billion dollars and
then burn down the pier, and keep up a
cussin like Awful Bill, abuse the agent
and all the rest Of the employees on the
dock. and act in general like q 'longshore-
man with two quarts OF the barrel-house
stuff under his belt-strap.
Howled Like Hyena.
"A little lager with specs and pink hair
and with no more chin on his face than
an ant-eater got along here about three
weeks ago when the ship was out In the
stream and headed for the Hook He
didn't look like there was good yelp in
him, but he sure fooled us all up lot
He just threw his round hat down on the
dock and howled like a hyena with the
toothache He cussed out everybody con-
nected with the line down to the third gal
ley cooks on the frelghters. and he foamed
at the mouth like a bull calf that's been
eating new clover. His specs dropped Off
while he ripping around, but he was
too mad to pick EN- up. Finally he had an
idea.
Gimme a tug! he yelled at me-
II informed him. polite-like, that there
didn't happen to be any tug around at the
moment that could be lassoed into his
service.
Then build one, blast it, build oner he
came at me, and when I grinned-couldn't
help it thought the little lager was
going to grab cotton hook and pull me
all apart.
He finally left the pier, after tearing
around for three-quarters of an hour, and
he walked straight as chalk-line to one
of the groggerieS across the street. He
became what you'd call spiffiicated over
there, and about half an hour later he
bore down upon me and begged me to ac-
cept his gold watch and chain as small
token of his affection and esteem. 1 got
him into hack and had him driven home.
But they're always sure to take on some
thing scandalous, these laggers.
Performance of the Women.
When the lager that's left is a woman
she acts differently, of course, but She al
ways gives us Il run 1OE ilioiiSy at
that She generally stands on the dock,
and, after handing her bag and parasol and
other gear to her maid, yanks out her
handkerchief and begins to weep a lot
Then, when she sees that the weeps aren't
getting her anything, she gets mad and
begins to say things. She always declares
that the ship has got under way at least
two hours ahead of its advertised schedule
time and the more she talks the madder
che When she at length suddenly
remembers that most of her clothes and
ieWeIry are on the ship that's away down
the harbor by this time she gets plump
historical, and when woman gets hys-
tericaI on a steamship dock you can go 1t
that there's some business on that dock
for all hands fore and art.
Funny thing about the woman lager
who's left and whose clothes are aboard
the steamer that's gone of without her, Is
that she wants TO send about nine dozen
cable dispatches right away from the DOCK
hofora the steamers got more than three
knots away about what's TO be done with
her trunks when the boat reaches the oth-
er side. There's no use trying 10 tel her
that she's got plenty of time for that, and
that shed better think it over during the
six or seven days that 1t takes the steamer
TO cross. But, nope, she got the IDEA
firnoly fixed in her mind that the steam
shin company is going to try to rob her
Of her gear and that the ships due in
Europe some time before lunch, and II SHE
DOESN'T do a lot of cabling before she quits
robe and gig lamps
An Opera Singers Defamation.
"some of the women laggers that get left.
though, don't become weepy little bit. but
the conversation that they work off when
they see the steamer belching black smoke
ont in the channel is some sultry and no
mistake One OF these women that sings in
grand opera, a foreign woman Of some kind
she was-French. or Chimney, or something
Hike that-came racing down in an automo-
bile a few weeks ago. only two minutes
after her ship had set out down the bay.
You can take 1t from me that was glad.
then. that l didn't know any foreign Ian
guages, for If I'd ha' known what she was
saving I'll bet hat I'd have shriveied up.
She lust stood on the end of the dock and
talked at the state of New Jersey over the
wa. She was q big. fine, handsome
woman, and they tell me that on the stage
she sings like a bird on an apple bough,
but there wasn't any sing in her voice that
morning. You'd ma thought she was tear
ing I'D the old man for coming home on
Saturday night with bun on and king
the crockery in the cupboard. I'm telling
you right that she swept up and down
this pier for full thirty minutes without