davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07
DIsP0s1Nc or ADIP0sE TISSUE

A man has actually appeared upon
the scene who says that he has ham
mered off his adipose tissue with
mallet and at the same time hardened
his flesh to the proverbial consistency
of nails. 1t is rather difficult to feel
convinced of the truth of this state
ment, in view of the fact that SINH
lar kind of xylophone gymnastics is
daily practised upon all beefsteaks of
the boarding house variety for the pur-
pose of rendering them juicy and
tender. Though the mosquito may
seem entirely irrelevant to the forego-
ing. 1t rather obviously pops up and
into the argument. and in so doing
suggests the question as to whether
or not this winged auger could pene-
trate the leathern envelope of SUBJ
ject so hammered into the pink of cast
iron perfection: and also if an expert
with pair of antifat mallets could
not, while discoursing impromptu
moonlight fantasies on his anatomy
with the same, hit the mosquitoes as
they light upon him. and thereby
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07
GOOD BLOOD FOR BAD
aheumatism and Other Blood Dis
eases are Cured by Or. WiiIian,s'
Pink Pills,

''1n the lead mines was at work on my
knees with my elbows pressed against
rock walls. in dampness and extremes of
cold," said Mr.. ]. G. Meulsel, Of 2975
jackson avenue, Dubuque. Iowa, i'll de-
scribing his experience to a reporter,
land it is not surprising that con-
tracted rheumatism. For three years
had attacks affecting the joints of my
ankles, knees and elbows. My ankles
and knees became SO swollen l could
scarcely walk on uneven ground and a
little pressure from a stone under my
feet would cause me so much pain that
would nearly sink down. l was often
obliged to lie i'll bed for several days at II
time. My friends who were similarly
troc5lsd were getting no relief from
doctors and did not feel encouraged to
throw money away for nothing: BY
of the Klauer Manufacturing Co., OF
Dubuque, who had very bad case of
rheumatism. decided to try DR.. Will
liams' Pink Pills for Pale People, the
remedy he had used. In three or four
weeks after beginning to use the pills,
was much better and i'll three months I
was well. The swelling of the joints
and the tenderness Disappeared, could
work steadily and for eight years have
had no return of the trouble. My whole
family believe in DIR. Williams Pink
Pills. Both my sons use them. We
consider them household remedy that
we are sure about"
What DR.. Williams Pink Pills did for
Mr. Meukel they are doing for hundreds
of others. Every dose sends galloping
through the veins. pure, strong, rich, red
blood that strikes straight at the cause OF
all ill health. The new blood restores
regularity, and braces all the organs for
their special tasks. Get the genuine DR..
Williams Pink Pills at yonr druggists
or direct from the DIR. Williams Medi-
cine Co.. Schenectady, NY.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07
HIS ARTISTIC TASTE IMPROVED

I'VE are proud of you, papa" said
the mans three handsome daughters.
"Ah, you are?" he said, beamingly.
What have l done now?"
You have acquired taste in art"
said the handsomest of the trio. II
don't mind telling you now. that there
was time when we despaired of your
ever appreciating the classic. Thank
goodness, you have improved. under
our tuition, until you can pick out
the really beautiful every time. In
steal of admiring the razzle-dazzle.
tors:;-turvy designs in architecture
and decorations that formerly pleased
you, you now choose the simple easy
lines Of pure art"
Thank you, my dears,' said the
man. II am glad you kept hammer
ing away at me so persistently."
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

cause them to explode and scatter to
the misty realm of otherwhere. 1t is
rather a difficult question to answer
satisfactorily on the fly and without a
considerable investment of thought. In
fact it may be regarded somewhat in
the light of a recondite proposition in
view of Its Importance from both a
physical and hygienic point Of view;
for when the performer gracefully
carroms on himself and the persistent
pest he rids himself of worthless fat
and destroys natural conservator OF
malaria. thus killing two birds with
one stone. or rather two mosquitoes
with one hammer. It only remains to
add that there is colossal fortune
awaiting the man who can find in the
above suggestion upon which to pro-
duce a hammer which shall prove to
all lovers of good government an in
strument with which the fat can be
ruthlessly whacked off political sine
cure while it flattens the skulls of the
human mosquitoes that would convert
the body polite into fountain OF un-
adulterated financial ljoy.-Exchange.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

1.-The choice is worthy of considera-
tion.'" the speech flowed on, every
word. every gesture as he had heard
and seen. "'The whole country will
hail the day." he cried, and finally,
"'Arise, San Diegans; l stand here
before you to emphasize-to empha-
size"
He turned cold with fear. He could
not remember what came next. He
struck the platform savagely with his
right foot, struck 1t over and over,
but the gesture did not bring the
words. Then he remembered why.
"Oh, didn't hear no MORE" he said.
forgetting the paternal warning.
THAT was where dad fell into the
hogshead." Big tears began to streak
his cheeks. "Oh. If could only say
the rest l could make you vote for us
sure" he burst out, "but won't you do
it anyway? I'll be an albright govern
ors son and he'll make the best gov
ernor you ever had cause he's an A
No. l dad. d."-Sarah Comstock in Lip
pincott's Magazine.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07
HIS FIRST POLITICAL SPEECH

"Spatters's" father was to deliver a
stump speech at San Diego in his own
behalf as candidate for governor of
California. While practicing the
speech, mounted on hogshead. he fell
in and broke his leg.
Spatters had been a rapt listener to
his fathers eloquence and in the even
ing the little boy appeared before the
meeting to deliver the speech from
memory:
Gentlemen, I know the speech and
it's corker. This is it: Friends, San
DiegAns, behind us lies the past; be-
fore us lies the future His frackled
little right hand stretched to the fu-
ture while the left pushed back the
past. at has been nobly said that
we shall reap as we have sown; in
many cases, therefore, we must reap
the fruit of poisonous seeds. But each
year brings its new sowing; what do
We now choose to plant?'"
The crowd was surging toward the
platform in it's enthusiasm. but Eary
and Bill held it back and motioned to
the child to proceed.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07
Are You Tired, Nervous
and SleepleSs :?

Nervousness and slceplessness are us
ually due to the fact that the nerves are
not fed on properly nourishing blood;
they are starved nerves. DIR. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery makes pure,
rich blood, and thereby the nerves are
properly nourished and all the organs OF
the body are run as smoothly as machin-
cry, which runs in oil. In this way you
toned up and invigorated and. you are
good for whole lot Of physical or mental
work. Best OF all. the strength and in
crease in vitality and health are LASTING.
The trouble with most tonics and med
icines which have large. booming sale
for short time. is that they are largely
composed OF alcohol holding the drugs In
solution. This alcohol shrinks up the red
blood corpuscles. and In the long run
greatly Injuries the system. One may feel
exhilarated and better for the time being.
yet In the end weakened and with vitality
decreased. DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical
Discovery contains no alcohol. Every
bottle OF IT bears upon its wrapper The
Badge OF Honestly In full list OF all Its
several ingredients. For the druggist TO
offer you something he claims is "just as
good is 10 insult your intelligence.
Every ingredient entering into the
world-famed "Golden Medical Discovery"
has the unanimous approval and endorse
ment OF the lending medical authorities
o! all the several schools of practice. No
other medicine sold through druggists for
like purposes has any such endorsement.
The "Golden Medical Discovery not
only produces all the good effects to be
obtained from the use OF Golden Seal
root, in all stomach. liver and bowel
troubles, as IN dyspepsia. bliousncss, con-
stipation, liberation OF stomach and
bowels and kindred ailments. but the
Golden Seal root used In Its compound
ing is greatly enhanced in its curative ac-
tion by other ingredients such as Stone
root, Black Cherrybark. Bloodroot, Man
drake root and chemically pure triple
refined glycerlne.
"The Common Sense Medical Adviser"
Is sent free In paper covers on receipt OF
81 one-cent stamps TO pay the cost OF mail
Ing only. For 81 stamps the cloth-bound
volume will be sent. Address DIR. X. V.
Pierce. Buffalo. N. Y.
DIR. Plerce's Pleasant Pellets cure con-
sipation. biliousncss and headache.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07
Deadly Flood Of Ammonia.

In New York City recently com.
pressed ammonia escaping from leak
in a refrigerating plant the size of a
leadpencil threw West Washington
market in Tenth avenue and CAM.
voort street into panic, asphyxiatel
about $500 chickens, killed fifteen
cats and five dogs and gave the crew
of the fire boat Mcclellan two
hours struggle. Trailing from the re.
frigerator in the stall of Brown &
Bingham, beef dealers, the ammonia
spread itself along the alleyways on
the market, penetrating every nook
and Granny, driving stall owners,
clerks and typewriters before it.
1t spread over the floor to a height
Of five feet and rolled down the alleys
until every living thing which it en-
veloped was either dead or had fed or
been carried to the outer atmosphere.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

When his daughter had left the
room the man took off his glasses and
rubbed them thoughtfully.
We'll, what do you think of that?"
he said. Il have become artistic,
have l? And why? Because my eye
sight is so poor. That is the only rea-
son. Those fantastic, curlycue figures
that used to please my taste no longer
appeal to me because .ney hurt my
eyes. I am driven to classic lines in
self-defense. Most people of my age
are. once heard an art dealer say
that half the people who thought they
had developed the artistic tempera-
ment with years, had only ruined their
eyes and needed glasses. That is my
case exactly. like those outlandish
patterns in wall paper and carpets
and things as well as ever, but 1
wouldn't have the girls know it."
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

Dresden has developed curious
idea. The public baths OF that city
will shortly receive an addition that is
probably without parallel. The new
annex will consist exclusively OF bath
ing establishments for dogs, organized
on the strictest lines of class distinc.
ton. There will be first, second and
third class, subdivided into swimming
and single wash baths. 1t is even
gravely stated that there will be a
hairdressing department for canine
customers.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07
Deafness Cannot Be Cured

by local applications, they cannot reacn tho dis
essed portion of the There is only one way TO
deafness, and that Is by constitutional remedies
Deafnes. is causeS by an fnnamed condition of the
mucous linih> Of the Eustachian Tube. When this
tube is inhamed you nave arumbling sound or Inn
perfect hearing, and It ia entirely closed Deaf
Ii the result, and unless the Inflammation be
taken out and this tube restored to Its normal cOnd
ton, hearing will be destroyed forever; nine
out of ten are caused by tatarrh, which is nothing
but an iniiamed condition of the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any case Of
Deafness (caused by cstarrh) that cannot be cured
BY Hairs Catarrh Cure. Send for circulars. free.
F. j. CHENEY & CO., Toledo,
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
1t Is awful hard to believe all the
things you want your children to.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07
THE MARRIED MAWs LAMENT

A wonderful fellow was he whom 1 sing,
SO courteous. manly and clever,
Who scorned to retort with a sarcastic
fling
And spoke with cold irony never;
Though. OF course. you have ne'er with
this paragon met.
Since he lives In n past that's been
buried,
His virtues you're never allowed to for
get
The man whom your wife might have
married.
He never spoke GROSSLY. he never COM
pla ned
When things weren't In apple-pie order.
And when she was worn. langud. ner-
vous or panied
He sat IN anxiety's border:
Her Vjsh vas to him inenorable law
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07
Beigium's Colonial Area.

Though Belgium has an area of only
1873 square miles. which is less than
one-fourth the size of the state OF
New York, and population of only
6,500.0OO, it has accomplished within
twenty years a mighty task, opening
up to the world a vast territory in Az
rica covering 100000 square miles,
with native and white population OF
about 3O,O0O,00O.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07
.AILk CRUST ON BABY.
Lost All His Hair-Seratehed TIL
Blood Ran Grateful Mother
Tells Of His Cure by cuti.
eura for 75c.

when our baby boy was three
months old he had the milk crust very
badly on his head, so that all the hair
came out, and it itched so bad he
would scratch until the blood ran.
got a cake Of Cuticura Soap and box
of Cuticura Ointment. | applied the
Cuticura and put a thin cap on his
head, and before l had used half of
the box 1t was entirely cured, his hair
commenced to grow out nicely again.
and he has had no return of the trou-
BILE. (Signed) Mrs. H. P. Holmes,
Ashland. Or"
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

And her cares on his shoulders he
carried
You've been taught to believe that he
hadn't n flaw
The man whom your wife might have
married.
He was gifted indeed. he could both play
and sing.
And he sketched with the art OF n
maste:
rical swing.
Or carve br reliefs out OF plaster;
Since you've often been thrilled when,
In pets. she'd repeat
His list OF accomplishments varied,
What n pity It Is that you can't hope to
meet
This man whom your wife might have
married.
New York PresA
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

in bad weather
brought kidney trou-
bles on me, and l
suffered 20 years
with sharp, cramp-
ing pains IN the back
and urinary disor.
ders. l often had to.
get up a dozen times
at night to urinate.
Retention set in, and
| was Obliged to use
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

the catheter. took to my bed, and
the doctors failing to help, began using
Doans Kidney Pills. The urine soon
came freely again, and the pain gradu-
ally disappeared. l have been cured
eight years, and though over 70, am a.
active as boy"
Sold by all dealers. so cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07
Naval College Clock.

The clock in the tower of the new
Naval College at Dartmouth, which is
to be opened shortly, will mark time
as kept onboard ship. striking eight,
six, four bells. etc, and will be the only
clock of its kind in England.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07
Christian Science.

IN tho United States there are
about 400 Christian Science Churches.
with about 100000 adherents. Accord
ing to Mrs. Eddy, its founder, the
church is making tremendous strides
In popularity, in which respect 1t re-
sembles Pillsbury's Vitos. the popular
cereal food.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07
Submarine Cables.

There are 376 submarine cables in
the world, the length Of which
amount to 17S,919 miles. Most Of
these belong to private parties, only
$4,000 miles being owned by the vari-
GUS governments. All, however, bring
daily orders from every land on the
globe. for Pillsbury's Vitos, the all
day food.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

You never hear any one complain
about Defiance Starch" There is none
to equal 1t In quality and quantity, Is
ounces. 10 cents. Try 1t now and save
your money.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

Piso's Care is the best medicine we ever used
for all affections OF the throat and lungs.-wM
o. ENDsLEY, Vanburen. Ind. Feb. 10, 1900.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

Don't be afraid of me. miss" said
the masher; II wouldn't hurt flea"
No. don't think you would" said the
bright girl; 1T takes a clever man to
kill nea."
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

Many women who do their own work are
much annoyed in winter with chapped
hands. This may be avoided by using Ivory
Soap for dish washing and toilet purposes.
Dry the hands thoroughly each Zine after
they have been in water. and rub with .
little oatmeal-water or some good lotion.
ELEANOR X. PARKER
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

Mary" said the forsaken one 'if
you can't return my affection. l think
you ought at least to return the uia-
mond ring / gave you"
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07
To Prevent chapped Hands,

Fortunately the child doesn't realize
that he is the father to the man.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

why" asked the senior partner,
have you marked this mahogany table
DOWN" Because" explained the
junior member of the firm, "it Is
scratched up"
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

E1Ye permanently cured. No or ess after
bb hrrt day OF Dr. Kline rGreat Nerve Restor
er. send for FREE $500 trial bottle aud treatise
Dk II. II. KLINE Ltd. p5 Arch Street. Phiiadoip Pa
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

Money doesn't sit around on empty
dry goods boxes when it talks.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

II see man is working on a meter
to record how long a man talks on the
telephone" why. won't the gas me-
ter do?"
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

1t is easy work to convince woman
If you try not to.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

Usually when n man reaches the
turn In the lane he finds that It turns
in the wrong direction.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

Mrs. Windows Soothing syrup.
For children teething softenh the gums reduces m
oAmmAtion, alsys pain. cures wind collie. 25c bottle
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

4 takes a big man to eat crow grace
fully.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

Lives OF great men all remind us
how easy 1t is to be small man.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

Il should Judge by Slowit's looks
that ne weighed as much as ton"
"Yes. no doubt, a simpleton."
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

Cowardice is n nightmare that trou-
bles some men when they are awake.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

The fellow who waits for something
to turn up has his eyes fixed on his
toes.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07
IN CONSTANT AGONY.
A West virginian's Awful Distress
Through Kidney Troubles.

W. l.. Jackson, merchant, of Para.
ersburg, w. Va, SAYS: "Driving about
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07
Public Baths for Dogs.

Your grocer returns your money If you don't
like Schingr Best.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

Peruna is known from the Atlantic
to the Pacific. Letters of congrattla-
ton and commendation testifyinR to
the merits Of Peruna as a catarrh rem
edy are pouring in from every State in
the Union. DIR. Hartman is receiving
hundreds Of such letters daily. Ali
classes write these letters, from the
highest to the lowest.
The outdoor laborer, the indoor arti-
san, the clerk, the editor, the statesman,
the preacher-all agree that Peruna is
the catarrh remedy of the age. The
stage and rostrum, recognizing catarrh
as their greatest enemy, are especially
enthusiastic in their praise and tes-
timony.
Any man who wishes perfect health
must be entirely free from catarrh.
Catarrh is well-nigh universal. Peruna
is the best safeguard known.
ASk InrrP nHr,nersc< kos E~1
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07
TEA

1t is a most mild delight;
but it is a delight-good
tea, fine tea.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

Many n mans winning ways are due
tc the way he deals the cards.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

Imagination doth make towards OF
Us all.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

practical joker Is one who pos
sesses the ability to turn his jokes Int
cash.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

More Flexible and Lasting,
won't shake out or blow out: by using
Defiance Starch you obtain better re-
suits than possible with any other
brand and one-third more for same
woney.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07
TEA

Our tea is sound; our ad-
vice is sound. Our advice
is as sound as our tea.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07

oAleMs OHeCON.
A Letter from the Ex-Governor =
Oregon.
The Ex-Governor Of Oregon is IN
ardent admirer of Peruna. He keeps II
continually in the house. In Q letter 70
DR.. Hartman, he says:
STATE OF OREeoN,
EXECUTIVE DEPARTMENT.
The Peruna Medicine Co., Columbus, o.
Dear Sirs:---l hsve had 0ccssion to
use your Peruna medicine In my family
for colds, and 1t proved to be an excel
lent remedy. have NOT had occasfon
to use II for other ailments.
Yours very truly, w. M. Lord.
1t will be noticed that the Governor
says he has not had occasion to use
Peruna for other ailments. The reason
for this Is, most other ailments begin
with a cold.
Gilpin observer., 1905-12-07
T'EA
We want no money fol
unsatisfactory tea.
Don't be shy!

Yo.r grocer returns your money II you doa's
tke schiilngs Best.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1905-03-30
LUCAS is RESTRAINED

SPOKANE, March 30.-W. H. Lucas
has been restrained by Judge Poindex-
ter from organizing a baseball team
in Spokane during the season of 1905
under the protection of the national
association. An injunction pendente
was issued, but as the merit of the case
was gone into on the hearing of the
granting of the injunction virtually
settled the case so far as the superior
court is concerned. The injunction
was secured by the Spokane Baseball
Exhibition company, Pacific National
league The allegation was that Lucas
while serving as president of the Pa
cific National league, had used his po-
sition to have that league contract
with the National association to have
it's protection cancelled, and to have its
protection extended to a new league
composed of clubs at Spokane, Bel
lingnam, Vancouver, Victoria, Wa1la
Walla, Pendleton and Everett.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1905-03-30
Witch Doctors Rites Near Havana

HAVANA, March 30-Zoila Sanchez,
a child of Francisco and Anna Peres
de Sanchez, 20 months old, disappear
ed November 10, 1904, from it's home
on the outskirts of Guira de Melena, a
town 35 miles from Havana. On No
vember 26, the body of Zoila was found
in a thicket near the Zaniga farm.
It is known that several negro witch
doctors were practicing their rites in
the community. Investigation resulted
in the arrest of II persons Of botn sex
es and the detention of 125 witnesses.
Domingo Boucourt, an old African
negro of powerful physique, is the chief
witch doctor, and he is accused of hav-
ing planned the murder. The death
penalty is asked for Boucourt Juana
and Pablo, Tabares, Adele Luis, Moli-
ma, Ponce and Amro, and II years i'm
prisonment for Jorge Cardenas. Dam
azo Amaro, Laureano Diaz, Martinez
Pillar, Hernandes and Jacobo Arenal,
as accessories before and after the
deed.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1905-03-30
HUNDREDS FOR BLooDED PUP
Albany Man Glad He Took Minin.
Shares For Dog.

ALBANY, Ore, March 30.-Frank s..
Wire, son of Rev. M. c. Wire has sold
for $500 one-half Of some mining stock
secured a few years ago in exchange
for a dog. He is holding the rest of
the stock.
At the time the deal was made the
young man was working Portland. He
had a blooded bull pup which a friend
desired to purchase, and finally trad
ed the dog for 400 shares Of stock in a
mine near Baker City, the shares at
that time being worth comparatively
nothing. The young man returned to
his home in Albany soon after with
his mining stock, which he was inclin-
ed to regard somewhat in the nature of
a gold brick. But rich ore, bearing
copper, silver and gold, was struck in
the mine, and the stock has risen rap
idly in value.