davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-07-27
An Estimate of Himself

He-My! haven't you forgotten that
little joke of mine yet?
She (coldly)-No, l haven't.
And you're still mad at me?"
"Yes."
well, that's just like a woman, to
get mad at nothing."-Philadelphia
Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-07-27

Russian authors are not taking their
heroes from the military.--Washing-
ton Post.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-07-27

Very few of us succeed in impressing
strangers as much as we think we
ought tC.--Puck.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-07-27

"A few men, said Uncle Eben, will
give you advice case dey honestly want
to help. An "a whole lot will do it fob
de satisfaction of remindin' you of yoh
hard luck an putin on airs."-Wash-
ington Star.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-07-27
Fight and Divorce.

Knicker-Did their married life run
Smoothly!
Bocker-No; first day Russia-%Japanned,
then Norway Swedened.--N. Y. Sun.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-07-27

Most Of those who have tried it report
that marrying the landlady is a poor
way, after all, TO pay a bill for board
Boston Globe.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-07-27
Strange, Indeed, If True.

A club of wild game hunters actual
ly had a small rhinoceros killed fol
their banquet at the New Aston, n
London, and one may imagine the dia
gust of the proprietor when this stu.
pendo'ls "joint" smashed two of his
passenger elevators.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-07-27
THE IDEAL WIFE
Shapes the Destiny of Men-The Influence of a
Healthy Woman Cannot Be Overestimated.

Seven-eighths of the
men in this world marry
a woman because she is
beautiful in their eyes
because she has the quail
ties which inspire admira-
ton, respect and love.
There is a beauty in
health which is more at
tractive to men than mere
regularity of feature.
The influence of women
glorious in the possession
of perfect physical health
upon men and upon the
civilization of the world
could never be measured.
Because of them men have
attained the very heights
of ambition /; because of
them even thrones have
been established and de-
stroyed.
What a disappointment,
then, to see the fair young
wife's beauty fading away
before a year passes over
her head! A sickly, half
dead-and-alive woman,
especially when she is
the mother of a family,
is a damper to all joyous
ness in the home, and a
drag upon her husband.
The cost of a wife's con-
slant illness is a serious
drain upon the funds of a
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-07-27

household, and too often all the doc
toring does NO good.
If a woman finds her energies are
tagging, and that everything tires her,
dark shadows appear under her eyes,
her sleep is disturbed by horrible
dreams; if she has backache, head
aches, bearing-down pains, nervous
ness. whites, irregularities, or despon-
dency, she should take means to build
her system up at once by a tonic with
specific powers, such as Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound.
This great remedy for women has
done more in the way of restoring
health to the women OF America than
all other medicines put together. 1t is
the safeguard of woman's health.
Following we publish, by request, a
letter from a young wife.
Mrs. Bessie Ainsley of GIL South 10th
Street, Tacoma, Wash, writes:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-07-27

Hardly Ever.
Men who know it all are seldom ablt
to furnish the proof.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-07-27

Some men waste q lot Of valuable time
explaining their actions.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-07-27

on receipt Of zoe to pay cost of postage and
packing, a full-size $500 box Of DR.. Now
rey's "Stomach Tablets They cure indi-
gestion. STOMACHIC CO., Sturgis, Mich.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-07-27
Dear Mrs. Pinkham:-

Dear Mrs. Pinkham:-
"Ever since my child was born I have suf
fered, as | hope few women ever have, with
inflammation, female weakness, bearing-dowr
pains, backache and wretched headaches. II
affected my stomach so that | could not en-.
joy my meals, and half my time was spent
In bed.
lYdia r. Diakham,c NeNafahln Cor
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-07-27

When it comes to a quick parting the
fool and his money are a close second to
q woman and her secret.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1905-07-27

Lydia E. Pnkhams Vegetable Compound Succeeds Where others Fail.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1905-08-09

Pliny tells us that the phrase turn
ing the tables" arose from the extrava-
gance Of the Romans. In the time of
Augustus men Of wealth spent fabu-
lous sums Of money on tables Of costly
material, such as ivory, gold, silver,
marble and highly priced woods, espe-
cially the citrus wood Of Mount Atlas.
These last were called tigrine, or pan
Uterine, from the spotted appearance
Of the grain, as our birdseye maple
takes it's name. Cicero, a man of mod
crate means, gave nearly $1,000 for
one. Hence when the gentlemen
charged the ladies with extravaganza
in jewels, especially pearls, the ladies
retorted on their lords by pointing to
the vast sums spent on tables and thus
literally turned the tables" upon them.
A little forethOught may save you no
md of trouble. Anyone who makes 1t a
rule to keep Chamberlain's Collie, Ch>le
ra ind Diarrhoea Remedy at hand knows
this to 9 fact. For sale ny F. K Taft,
H F. Cady, Stafford; q Hall, Jr., Il Co.,
So Wellington
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1905-08-09
Pets the Sailors joy.

Animal pets have ever been a great
Joy to the average sailor. There is
hardly ship afloat that does not carry
one or more such little favorites to
whom the crew are universally kind.
More than this, there is frequently de-
veloped an attachment between men
and animals that is seldom to be seen
on shore, and the intelligence display
ed by these animals often far exceeds
the wonderful stories we sometimes
see In print. On men-of-war there is
probably more consideration shown the
crew in this regard than on merchant
men; at all events you will find there
many more ships pets. 1t is by no
means uncommon to see upon the same
deck a dozen or more well trained ami,
mails of various kinds whose natural
homes are separated by thousands Of
miles.-St. Nicholas.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1905-08-09
Old Age and MatrimOnY.

When he was considered quite an old
man James, Lord Balcarres, went to
stay with old Lady Keith. There were
a number of young ladies in the house
and, before he arrived, Lady Keith
said to them: Now, there is this old
gentleman coming to stay, and par
ticularly wish that you should all en-
deavor to make yourselves as pleasant
to him as you can" They all agreed
to do so, but Miss Dalrymple said:
"You may all do what you like. but
I'll bet you anything that you please
that I'll make the old gentleman like
me best of us ALL" And so she did.
She made him perfectly devoted to her
all the time he was there, yet when
he asked her to marry him she laughed
In his face. Lord Balcarres was ex-
tremely crestfallen, but when he went
away he made a will settling every
thing he could upon Miss Dalrymple.
Somehow she heard Of this, and said:
''Then, after all, he must really care
for me, and 1 will marry him." And
she did. He was flfty-eight then. but
they had ten children.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1905-08-09

I'm visiting the Hayes, your neiGhbors
down the road, so made point of
coming to see her before left. That's
all, except that I once knew you
also, and sudden fancy came to me
to stay and see you too"
ITO see IL the wound you gave my
heart had healedr broke In the man
bitterly. "An these years I've suffered
las only a man can suffer who scorns
explanations to those whom he feels
should be above suspicion. / Swore not
to ask what you meant by that let
ter
''Tom Bronner can tell yOu," threw In
the girl icily. For myself, do not
care to discuss the matter"
.Bronnerw The man drew up his
hand before his eye, palm outward, as
one who has unexpectedly been shot.
When he dropped it he spoke un-
steadily:
$50 it's all been a mistake, sweet
heart. Bronner loved you himself. L
/ thought he was my friend" AS his
voice broke he caught the old, tender
love in the girls eyes.
"But, DEAR" he cried. "of course 1t
was all lie. And 1t isn't too late"-
"How do you dareT' cried she. rising
in hot anger as he made an impulsive
forward movement. Eyes, It's too late
altogether too late. I am going to
marry Stanley Hughes. and you-you
must be loyal to your WIFE,"
"My-Clare, are you madT"
"Goodp' cried Mrs. Ormsby, tripping
blithely down the path. You and
Chester haven't waited for the conven-
tional introduction. That's right, and
know you're going to be good friends.
Glare, my husbands cousin, Chester
Ormsby" And to her husbands
cousin: miss Glare Clayton, school
friend of mine. Too bad my Chester
hasn't come yet-train must be late.
Chester's family name with the Orms-
bys, you:know. IT,
Not much wonder she broke off sud-
denly in her sentence. Her husbands
cousin had beseechingly opened his
arms, and with a little inarticulate,
happy cry Glare had flung herself into
them.
The light had broken In.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1905-08-09
THIRTY YEARS AGO.
Items of local interest taken from the columns
of The Press, thirty years ago.l
August 12, 1878.

r. ID. Davidson, attorney, and M.
r. Griswold, dentist. have moved in
to their new offices in Rockwell'f
block.
Horace o. Adams of Winsted is
now laying concrete walks on Main
street in front of the property OF
Julius Converse, O. Prouty, Head d
Baker and Col. Charles Warren, on
the south side of the street, and on
the north side in front of John Brown,
Dimock Bros, the Episcopal mission
property and o. Dorman's.
Born. In Staffordville, 10th. a
daughter to Joseph Noble.
In Stafford Springs, Sth, son to
Frederick st. John.
Married. in Ellington, July 25th,
by Rev. George 1. Wood, Albert H.
Chaplin of Somers and Joanna b.
Worthington of West Stafford.
Died. In Stafford Springs, 9TH,
Experience, 90, widow of Joseph Il.
Brown.
In Somers, 9th, Mrs. Martin Ris-
lev CT
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1905-08-09
Well Known New England Woman
Cured of Hay Fever-Cure Was

Well Known New England Woman
Cured of Hay Fever-Cure Was
Lasting.
The thousands of discouraged peo-
pie who dread the approach of sum-
mer because they have hay fever and
cannot find any relief from it, will
read with interest and gratitude the
following statement from Helen s.
Williams of Mansfield, Mass.
''For 81 years, from the month of
August until heavy frost, I have been
afflicted with hay fever, growing
worse and worse each year, until of
late years was unable to attend to
my work during that period.
"Last summer 1 fortunately gave
Hyomei trial, and am happy to say
that it entirely cured me, and have
HAD no occurrence of the disease
since. -
Breathe the germ-killing and heal
ing balsams of Hyomei and get rid of
your hay fever.
The complete outfit costs but 81,
extra bottles SO cents. Anders Jacob
sen agrees to refund the money to any
hay fever sufferer who uses Hyomei
without benefit.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1905-08-09

It need hardly be pointed out, says
the author Of Fifty Years In Fleet
Street." that to be elected member Of
parliament does not necessarily imply
intellectual superiority. Shortly after
the Burmese war a young civilian.
home on leave, happened to mention
Burma.
'Ah, yes, Burma" said an M. P.
with whom he was sitting at table. FL
had nephew who was in Burma, only
he used to call 1t Bermuda"
On another occasion, in the month of
March, some one said to Mr.. Livesey:
'"This Is a cruel east wind"
EYES," was the would be witty re-
ply. 81 expect it will be Easter be-
fore it is over
This was repeated by the author Of
the book quoted to a respected member
of parliament, who observed gravely:
ST fancy@he's right. I have known 1t
last till Easter and longer yet"
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1905-08-09
Brigham Says
MANY PHYSICIANS PRESCRIBE
lydia 4. PfnFcksasR9IS
Vegetable Compound

The wonderful power of Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound over
the diseases Of womankind is not be-
cause it is a stimulant, not because it
is palliative. but simply because it is
the most wonderful tonic and recon-
struetor ever discovered to act directly
upon the generative organs, positively
curing disease and restoring health and
vigor.
Marvellous cures are reported from
all parts of the country by women who
have been cured trained nurses who
have witnessed cures and physicians
who have recognized the virtue of
Lydia z. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound. and are fair enough to give
credit where it is due.
If physicians dared to be frank and
open, hundreds of themwould acknowl-
edge that they constantly prescribe
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound in severe cases of female ills, as
they know by experience it can be re-
lied upon to effect q cure. The follow
ing letter proves it.
DR.. s. C. Brigham, of Brigham
Park. Fitchburg, Mass, writes
at gives me great pleasure to say that 1
have found Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound very efficacious, and often pre-
scribe it in my practice for female difficulties.
"My oldest daughter found it very benefi-
cial for uterine trouble some time ago. and my
youngest daughter is now taking it for a fe-
male weakness, and Is surely gaining In health
and strength.
'tI freely advocate it as a most reliable spe-
cihc in all diseases to which women are sub
ject, and give it honest endorsement"
Women who are troubled with pain
full or irregular menstruation, bloating
Tor fiatulence), leucorrhoa, falling, in
flammation or liberation of the uterus.
ovarian troubles, that hearing-down
feeling, dizziness, faintness, indiges-
ton. nervous prostration or the blues,
should take immediate action to ward
off the serious consequences, and be
restored to perfect health and strength
by taking Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegeta-
BILE Compound, and then write to Mrs.
Pinkham, at Lynn, Mass, for further
free advice. No living person has had
the benefit of a wider experience in
treating female ills. She has guided
thousands to health. Every suffering
woman should ask for and follow her
advice if she wants to be strong and
we'll
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1905-08-09
A Glasgow Cemetery.

The Metropolis cemetery, Glasgow,
as originally planned, contained al
most exactly twenty-four acres avail
able for burials, and it was suggested
that each division of one acre should
be named after letter Of the Greek
alphabet, which contains twenty-fOur
characters. For various reasons this
idea has not been fully carried out.
but fifteen sections Of the cemetery
have been SO named from alpha to
omega, the :monosyllable letters be-
tween these being omitted. The names
have not been applied in any partic-
ular sequence, but with the aid Of
small map they are useful in locating
any particular spot In what is now one
Of the most densely filed graveyards
In the kingdom.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1905-08-09

OF the difficulties in the language of
Persia a traveller writes: 1.-The words
one uses in a letter are almost entire
~ different from those used converse
tionally, and those In an ordinary
prose history are again different Then
1t is almost impossible to distinguish
the lenses, and, lastly, the adjective
is generally indistinguishable from the
substantive, and the link between an
adjective and the term which 1t quail
fies is the same as the sign Of the pos
sessive. For instance, the text, This
is my beloved son. may be read in the
Persian Bible This Is the son Of my
beloved without the slightest violence
to the grammar" =.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1905-08-09

the first timpa'
do you think I'm deliberately lying
to help Joe?" asked Phyllis icily.
mo" I answered, "but the issue is
too important to trust to such poor eye
sight"
'eYou goosew said Phyllis irreverent-
".
The puff puff of the big machine was
close behind us now, and would have
given worlds to have looked around
and to see who was in it, but the risk
was too great. Another mile and we
would be at the Hall. So long as kept
the middle Of the path the big car
could not pass us. determined to
keep 1t.
''Get over" shouted a hoarse voice
behind us. That's not fair play"
"AlPs fair in war and"- said it low
and left the sentence unfinished. PhyI-
lis heard it. and 1 felt her small gloved
hand rest ever so lightly on my arm.
"Go it," she urged.
AS we swung through the Hall gates
and ran up the broad avenue the tour
ing car passed us. 1t contained only
OdWCy NEdAdAo
I slowed down.
Phyllis" l said, Ibid you know all
the time that that was Dawcyw
Phyllis nodded.
"And where's JoeY demanded.
II don't know" replied Phyllis. 81
told him No last night"
"And what made Dawcy follow usT
I Dersisted still unsatiSfied
It thought it would add little to the
Nesting into the hollow of my arm, ''if
he were to borrow the machine and
come too. Don't you think it didY'
But it didn't matter what thought.
''If you hadn't been perfectly blind
you'd have guessed it last night" said
She
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1905-08-09
or,r,n Of One arav.1nra.

; The family Of a member Of parlia-
ment from Yorkshire has q private
graveyard and has had Il for several
generations. The founder of Il Was "A
Quaker, and the rector Of the parish
In which he lived said to him after
dispute on religious matters: "Well, II
you don't come to church when you
are alive, you will when you are dead."'
But the Quaker thought otherwise and
founded the burial place. which IL used
to this day.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1905-08-09
The Slit In the Coat Lapel.

A unique and beautiful custom
among the orthodox Jews is directly
responsible for the angular slit in the
lapel Of the modern coat. The Jew
when death visits his household takes
a knife and, cutting the lapel, murmurs
in Yiddish, 20 God, 1 accept thy judg-
ment." This custom has come down
from antiquity and Is known as "krea"
(rending the garment. The cutting Of
"krea" is associated with such solemn
and religious obligations that many a
stern Hebrew father, as punishment
for a son or daughter who marries out
Of the faith, will rend his garment as
a token Of the death of such a child.
The act is emblematic of the profound
est grief, but also has its comforting
influence, for it accepts with the resig-
nation Of the typical religious Jew the
will Of the Almighty.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1905-08-09

A beggar accosted a man on the
street the other day and poured out a
tale OF woe, to which the gentleman
patiently listened. Then he took out a
card bearing his name, which was that
Of a well known philanthropist who
contributes largely to an organization
working for the relief Of the poor
This he handed to the man after writ
ing an Introductory note thereon. The
beggar turned away with disgust writ
ten on his face and the parting re-
mark:
Say, dye t'ink got time to beat it
up to dat joint? I'm too busy workin'
dis pike to waste me time dat way.
Wot dye t'ink I ana messenger
boy T'-New York Times.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1905-08-09
A letter or note sent by a friend
should never be sealed.
A Touching Story

ia the saving from death of the baby girl
Of Geo. A. Eye, Cumberland, Md. He
writes: AT the aga of eleven months,
our little girl was In declining health witt
serioua Throat Trouble, and tw' physi-
clans gave her up. We wer' almost In
despair, when g resolved to try DIR.
Kings New Discovery for Consumption
COuphs and Cod the first bottle gave
relief after taking four bottles she was
'ured, and Il now In perfect health. u
Never falls to relieve and cure cough
or cold. AT Eaton's drug store: so; aud
5 90 guar anteed. Trial b,'t'e free.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1905-08-09

On all the great lakes Of China are
found floating islands, which are enor-
nous RATS of bamboo, overlaid with
earth and unfolding above the surface
Of the water pretty houses and gar
dens. They are, In fact, aquatic farms,
bearing crops Of rice and vegetables.
The rich bottom mud, utilized as an
artificial soil, Is extremely fertile and
yields bountiful harvests, though on a
small scale. In country where there
is such a lack Of available land owing
to the overplus of population these
floating plantations are most service
able, large sails being attached to the
dwelling house as well as to each COR
ner of the island whenever 1t is desired
to move about. After gathering a
crop Of grain or garden truck from the
surface Of the lake the floating farmer
casts his nets into the waters and from
their depths brings up supply of fish
for his family.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1905-08-09
ParIOr Pride Stove Polish.

LIQUID-READY F. INSTANT USE. A
few drops Of Parlor Pride Stove Polish
gives the stove a brilliant lustre shine,
making the stove fit for the parlor. No
soiled hands = easy to apply i always
ready. Requires no water or mixing
(water used in paste polish rusts the
stove). No dried-up paste remains after
using awhile. Parlor Pride good to the
last drop. Sold by all dealers. Large
sample bottle free Ono expense or postage
to pay. Give name Of your dealer and
address PARLOR PRIDRnMFGanCO.,
Boston, Mass. 4n52ja
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1905-08-09
A Story With a Moral.

A prominent New York banker was
dilating on the dangers of deceit. By
way Of illustration, he told of a So
ciety woman who saw in a jewelers.
window a collar Of pearls that she
wanted. She inquired the price and
was told $4,000 She gave her check
for $4,000, saying she would send her
husband to see the pearls, but the
jeweler was to tell him they cost only
$1,000. The storekeeper was familiar
with that sort of game and agreed.
The husband came to see the pearls,
and that evening told his wife he had
bought them. His wife delightedly
asked IL he had brought home the col
lar, whereupon he replied: mo, dear;
had it sent to my mother. You know,
it is her birthday tomorrow"
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1905-08-09

Only the king Of Korea may raise
goats or have round columns and
square rafters to his house or wear a
coat Of brilliant red. Only the king
may look upon the faces of the queens
hundreds Of attendant ladies or have
any building outside of which there
are more than three steps. -Four steps
would be high treason and would cost
their owner a traitors death.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1905-08-09

Sick headache resu ts from a disorder
ed condition Of the stomach and Is quick
" cured hv Chamberlain's Stom" CHI and
Liver Tablets. For sale nv K. X Taft,
II. F. Cady, Staff Ird; q. Hall, Jr., Il CO.,
So WilIin Tton
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1905-08-09
Not Wassea.

Mistress-You ruined that teErapin
last night. Ellen. can't have things
wasted so.
"Sure. mum, 'twasn't wasted. We
ate 1t In the kitchen."-Li6O.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1905-08-09
Tough ON the Calf.

It's pretty tough on the fatted calf
that it should have to suffer for the
sins Of the prodigal son.-Philadelphia
Record
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1905-08-09

IGIvE Hon TO WHOM IT IS DUE -
DIR. David Kennedy's Favorite Remedy,
OF Rondout, N. Y, cured me Of Bright's
disease and gravel. Four of the best
physicians had failed to relieve me !
have recommended 1t 10 scores OF people
with like success, and know it will cure
all Uh try 1T Mrs E. P. Miner, Burg
Hill, . Price 81, all druggists; 6 hot
les SIS.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1905-08-09

A thousand times listen to the coun-
sci Of your friend, but seek 1t only
Once.-Hardy.