The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-09-18

Washington Star.
/ HUMOR OF THE DAY
'sThese hot CAKES said the fussy old
lady in the light lunch place, ARE not
as big as they were the last time was
here"
These is flannel cakes, lady" replied
the bright waiter, IAN flannel, yer
know. shrinks. Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Hayrix was reading letter from
the son who was away at college.
HE wants you to send him $40 SO he
can take fencing lessons she said
"They amt no sense In him wastin'
good money on fencin' lessons" rejoined
the old man. "I'lI teach him haow tew
make fences when he comes home, by
Daily News.
..Hellol" exclaimed Galley in his usual
borish way. You here? Why haven't
you got your Sunday clothes on?"
'I have got them on replied Poor
ley. with conscious flush.
Nonsense! those are the clothes you
wear every day."
well, Sundays a day, isn't it?"--
Philadelphia Press.
7sBuf how do you know they have such
a phenomenally intelligent baby?''
''They have both told me so."-Housr
ton Post.
Visitor-My good man, you keep your
pigs much too near the house.
Cottager-That's just what the docteA
said, mum. But 1 don't see how it's
agoin to hurt 'emi-Punch..
81 am always carried away by thtt
song" he said, as she arose from tie
so you are told once before" she RI
piled. That's why I sung it-"-Detrdt
Tribune.
How do you deal with grafters n
this country?' asked the prominent fq-
wen said the professional reform
err confidently, I'VE have to deal fron
the bottom of the deck if we want b
beat 'em. Star.
Sam Johnson-'Rastus skinbone done bh
a-talkin' a powahful lot bout how het
a--aisin' chickens.
'I4iphalet Snow-Sho! he doan meal
Press.
wen, what is it nowr'
MY teacher says I'm natural bor4
fools
that's what I've always said. I suppose
she had to explain to you what natural
born fool was go. ;!
yes, pa. She said 1t was hereditary.
Cleveland Leader.
The Departing Guest (after paying his
conscience won't trouble you'll
The. Summer Hotel Proprietor (blandlyl !
get the money.-Puck.
Examiner-Did you come here undereon-
tract to work?
Immigrant-No, sor.
Dxaminer-How do you expect to earn
a living?
up me moind phwether to devote me tel,
ents to packin' convintions or starein'
stroikes.-New York Weekly.
ostend-say, pa, how do they raise "po-
Pay grating, my son.-Chicago Daily
News.
Teacher Ito smallest boy in class)-What
well known animal supplies you with food
Smallest Boy (after some thought)-My
father.-Judge.
I'm tired hearing about tainted money!"
she calculated.
so am l." he replied. What I'd liks
now is to get my fingers on little of IT.
Detroit Free Press.
"weel. Sandy. my boy. what's the mat
ter?'
"Eh, mon. but I'm dreadful III was
sorting my medicine bottles t'other day,
an 1 was afraid some o. it was goin' bad.
SO 1 took it?'-Punch-
Dumley-say. do you know anything
about golf7
RsppTsy-SMSq5t much. ..S why5 oo vou
Pepprey-I suppose it's one of those
cranks that simply live on the links
Philadelphia Press.
The Heiress-Papa, I am considerably
gagged to marry both the duke and the
count
and buy more > than 1 she wants. Just be-
cause it is cheap.-Life.
Weaver-HeIIo, Brown. What did they
say of my address last evening?
Brown-It was the general remark that
y1 Ws were yerg nnpGy, sP feT
Brownies, but if I am any judge, you
didn't have many happy listeners.-Boston
Transcript.
Senator Craft-Do you think would ac-
Dyer-I haven't enough money to find
out.-Judge.
Would like to live my life over?" said
enough to think it over."-Boston Trans
cript.
Mrs Backmedders-wh them num-
bers on the automobile fer, Hiram?
Mr.. Backmedders-Why, that's the fell
ler's score. It shows how many folks he's
run over.-Chicago Daily News.
Gentleman with Grievance-This auto
breaks down every ten minutes
Conscientious RsaleraWhat Of It?
there were none betteri
Conscientious Dealer-There ANTI
Puck.
Mrs NeWIywed-Oh, Clarence. can see
a perfect reflection of my face way down
there in the water.
Mr.. Newlywed-Are you sure it amt q