The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-05-21

for rating your property at twice It IL
worth. Next you begin to nurse
grudge against the man next door for
having built, before your advent, q finer,
house than yours which shuts off the
light from your dining room and makes
YOUR precious dove cote look like dinkys
little martin box.
Another shocking thing about the new
habtation is the tendency 1t has to fool
and befuddle YOU when the gas Jets arc
lowered and you have to giope In tho
darkness. In. the old house you knew
every tack andteeyefys splinter on the
floors. In the t,cws bnc, you offer up
your sensitive shins to various and di-
vers unexpected sharp corners and pro-
tuberances. which pluck off a cory so'l-
yenir of your coming at every turn.
Above all things. don't trust yourself
In the recently finished house without
n light. Ten steps under such con-
iitions can uncork more profanity tnan
a carload OF banana peel on a sidewalk
FOR your wife. who, by the way, is re-
sponsibe for tho whole peslSy business,
has a queer little way Of leaving trunks
and camphor chests and baby carriages
IN the halls and corners, ana when
peremptorlly called upon for an eSplana-
ton, insists that she must have time
to arrange the furniture to the pest
advantage
Your wife, however, will be very rse-
ful at this stage Of your existence. How
ever much she may protest and declare
that she Is being nggrievcd, you can
Nlwavs kise her as scapegoat ana
charge ,lp against her everything that
goes wrong about the place. Zen 70
one your murmurlngs won't disturb nerl
in the least She has troubles OF her
own-oodlcs of them. And besides, sne
i,,,o n
that she needs n new set OF furniture
10 match tho parlor paptr, and new.
set OF china to make the dining room
hnrmonizc with the rest of the mousse
FURTHERMORE. the first three weeks OF
her life IN the now abode VIII De spent
In rejoicing over the fact that she mas
cajoed you into derottng a thifd or the
snncc in the whole building to closets
and hacking rooms a woman's idea
of a house is n huge hall dividing count
LOGS c1ddy holes and shelvcd closets The
rest can 70 to the mischief as far as
she Is concerned, provided OF course sou
have also spent II fortune IN mirroreu
mantcls.
Even supposing a man could move into
n new house and find 1t architectura.ly
perfect and arranged with the utmost
economy of space and money. there would
still be n grinNHnce to nurse. ror
wceks-perhaps months-after he thlnKs
yhe Is settled. he must go a-sleuthing FOR
articles Of his clothing that have PEE
come lost in the shuttle The sunday
following his change of abodes VIII De
the grand. superlativc test of his patience
md powers of endurance. After he has
organized n searching party and landed
his patent leather shoes. he will discover
that every blessed collar he ever nad
in the world has disappeared. and that
he is equally as bad off in the matter
of shirts Worse still his trousers VIII
he strangely missing whiln the hats
which come to light will be made from
the quaint blocks of 1870 His wife VIII
assure him that in due time all Will come
out right but man without a shirt
and with derby hat whose crown
Is only an inch and a half high, Is not
apt to be optimistic or to be impressed
with his own dignity. As furtner
irritant, the enraged brute will be baffledE
in his hunt for his razors, his cuff
buttons. his umbrellas and his pipes.
Where JOY and happiness ought to reign
he will stride about with the air OF
a martyr, and a feeling Of fancies ex-
altation at the noble way he submits to
the cruelty OF his wife and family. But
the blame should not be laid on the
woman, or on the contractor, nor Is the
trouble due even to the mans asininity..
The fact about the whole business Is
that home isn't the creation of a minute
or an hour or a week or a month, nor'
can 1t be bought and sold at a profit
or less, like SO much corn or wheat or,
lumber or bank stock.
Home gets It's flavor and 1t sweetness