The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1905-04-22

sied when you were a iads Jlil-No.
not my head.-Yonkers Statesman.
i have just spent two weeks at a
summer resort" Sorry. old chap. but
can't lend you any money to-day"
Waiter-Roast beef or cured ham.
sirf Bring me some beef. The last
cured ham / ordered here was only
He-I suppose Miss de Millions mar
ried that poor young artist because
she loved him She-No: because her /
dearest friend loved him.
Amateur Sportsman say. did hit
anything that time Gamekseper-I
think not. sir. There warn't nothing
in sight but the birds. sir.-Judge.
The Lawyer-H'ml What makes
you think you wish to study to become
a lawyer? The Applicant-Well. me
folks object TO me bein' a burglar
Judge.
Man overboard-Help. help, stran-
ger-Phuy don't yez swim: Il don't
know how" "BegOrry, we've got an
fligant chance to learn."-New York
Weekly.
Her suggestion: He-You know,
darling. we cannot live on cheese and
kisses. she-Then why not leave the
nasty old cheese out?-Lippincott's
Magazine.
Firemen rush into a house in re-
Spouse to an alarm Of fre-are met
by a small boy. Ralph-say. II the
house burns down, don't save my fan
nels-'cause they scratch me.-Life.
Lena-Fred didn't blow his brains
out because you Tilted him the other
night; he came and proposed to me.
Maud-Did he? Then he must have
got nd OF them in some other way.
Mr.. Skinnint-The paper says skirts
are to beworn longer than ever. Mrs.
Skinhint-Well, you needn't be tig-
germ on me wearin' mine any longer.
I've worn it I'VE years this fall al
ready.
Some one asked Lincoln how long
a mans legs should be. He replied be
had not given the subject any thought,
but should say they should be long
enough TO reach from his body to the
ground.
You kin help de cause of honesty
heap" said Uncle Eben. by preach
In about It. but you kin help 1t heap
mo- by not danglin' roas' chicken IN
der a hungry mans nose."-Washing-
ton Star.
Billings wife is a most accomplish
ed woman" remarked the man who
sneers. "Indeedr' "Yes: she under
stands FIVE languages and knows how
to keep quiet in all OF them."-Wash
ington Star.
''Is your friend a good shotY' Yes
answered the sportsman after som'
hesitation. HE never hits any game
but then he never hits any OF the PEG
pie in his hunting party. either
Washington Star.
Medium can tell you about
buried treasure Patron-Please don:
, Ny husband is always footing that Il
my ears. Medium-Does he know
anything about a buried treasure
: Patron-Yes: his first wife.-Tit-Bit'
"You say he has a visionary and in
/, practical nature? Yes" answered tn
: girl who is employed in the postoftic'
? "he is one OF those people who writ
Rush on an envelope instead Of pu
\ ting on a special delivery stamp. =
4 Washington Star.
o ..The trouble" said the dentist. 8
+ he probed away at the aching mols
+ with along. slender intrument is ev
, IDENTIFY due to a dying nerve" We'll
rroaned the victim. ITS up TO you
' treat the dying with a little more r
= spect."-Chicago News.
o Young Man-Say. you-er-remef
, Der the engagement ring l bought
4 vou Yesterday. Jeweler-Ies. What
v wrong with It! Young Man-Nothin
:. but there's something wrong with u
Is Virl Would you mind taking ii ba'
II and giving me collar buttons for liz
E. Mrs. Mulgrew-Are ye goin' 70 sill
n yer boy Tommy back to school Ii
j. week? Mrs. O'Dooley-No. indat
" Me ambition is to make an aldherm'
IL Of him phwin he grows up. an II
a. rot too much eddication he'd
N shpoiled for the position intoirely.
c Tit-Bits.
.Uhat are you doing hereT 81
r the woman to the tramp. who had .
over the wall just in time TO esca
! the bulldog. Madam" he said. vi
dignity. Il did intend TO request son
thing TO eat. but all ask now IS tn
in the interests OF humanity. yo'
feed that dog"
demonstration: Jim-Dor
,s+bsr Is an awful fresh-air crsi
Dick-How do you knOwl Jim
g +,,-naa me right out OF the house Il
= the cold air the other evening. a
q told me that it would be a good d
& better for my health 10 stay there
q Detroit Free Press
q Mr.. Lionel Brough tells story
3 Douglas Jerrold which is not too
4 known. The wit and a friend W
i discussing a mutual aequainta
) notsble for his want OF cleanlin'
al ~How comes IT. asked the frie
Of ..that So-and-So always has such III
ne handsY' Il expect" said Jerrold.
Oh is owing to his habit Of running II
er- over his face
Ire
"a flanagan FiIosory.