Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-07-11
ULTRASECRETSESS|ON
The Keep Commission at the
G. P. O.
BY THE BLUE FLAME
THE CHAIRMAN'S DEMoNSTRA-
TON OF CHEMISTRY.
Pinchot's Graphic Story of the Snake
- Attempt at Somer-
saults.
BY THE BLUE FLAME

after the commission had adjourned for
the day and the members apparently had
gone home. Their reassemblage was an
added mystery to the series Of mysteries
'hey nave devised. They all left the
building, and the employees of the big
print shop were breathing easily for the
hrst time during the day. Their secret
meeting room was closed the shades were
drawn and the keyholes were calked in
first-class fashion.
Supreme silence reigned in that deser,
ed chamber. Then there was a cloud OF
dense smoke in one corner of the room.
Il spread throughout the apartment like
HaSh. ana, accompanied by series of
sharp reports. the five high commission
| ers We're seen standing at their respective
places about the long table
They looked at one another and all
burst into hysterical laughter
BY gosh, Keep, you are dandy ex-
claimed Mr. Hitchcock, when he had re-
gained enough composure to speak That
worked ike charm. That's the boss
way to meet hereafter"
Chairman Keep on Chemistry.
Chairman Keep was very self-possessed.
He had the appearance of "A man who had
done brilliant thing and was so used TO
doing them that he felt but little pride in
the accomplishment. He did not speak at
once, but every member of the commission
waited on his words in an attitude OF at
tentlon approaching reverence.
Onct when | was a soph at Harvard"
said the chairman. breaking the intense si-
lence. Il made some experiments In chem
istry. They related to methods for the
translation of material bodies through
space and il is needless to say they
successful 1t was trifiing matter for me,
don't you know. l simply dismissed them
from my mind; but in our present dilemma,
When absolute secrecy Is so essential to
success, l simply recalled the formula, and.
gentlemen, you see the result. Hereafter
the blue flash will be our sign of meeting"
''At the sign of the blue flash, say us
ALI! they shouted in chorus. "At the sign
of the blue FASH"
"Sh-h-h-b!" Kissed the chairman. re-
suming an attitude of extreme caution.
Look TO the keyholeS,
The subcommission on window shades and
keyholes reported that every keyhole was
stopped tightly with raw cotton.
The Cotton Scandal.
THAT reminds me-" suggested Mr.. MUIR
ray they did big business down there in
the Department of Agriculture with that
cotton scandal"
II was about to call the attention of the
commission to that myself" said Mr.. Gar
field Wilson must have a first rate ento-
mologist down there, because there are no
flies him. Did you see how they con-
victed Theodore Price, the cotton king, be-
IOT6 ntOutTe hDtW ne Was even suSptCttQ
of completely in the cotton scandal? That's
what | call enterprise. And they can't
complain that there wasn't plenty of pub
licity about II, too. Did yer see how the
Secretary gave out the report OF Theo-
dore's conviction and published it in 1900
newspapers
"Oh, / see" said Mr.. Hitchcock. that's
what the President meant by publicity in
relation to corporations. When you catch
the fellow publish it to the world
Sure" retorted Mr.. Garfield. That's
publicity.
Pinchot the chief OF the bureau of forestry.
That's not what the President meant The
man who caught wolves, with his hands
could never have meant that. The man who
refuses to shoot any bird or animal except
those that pests never meant that. He
couldn't have meant it.
"Pinchot is getting back in the tall timber
again" declared Mr.. Murray
Pinchot's Story of the Snake.
well, / will tell you some of the things
! have seen in the wilds of nature. Boys,
you should never get so civilized that you
can't observe nature profitably. Not long
ago / was out on one of my tramps in the
tall timber. as you say, and becoming tired
/ rested myself a fallen tree. l was
overcome with sleep. l do not know how
long had slept there when l was awaken-
ed with a start as II some guardian spir1u
had called to me in alarm. Springing to
my feet l was seized by a terrible spasm
of fright for there, about to pounce on
my throat, a venomous snake. II had
come upon me without a sound. 1t had
given no warning. 1t would have sunken
its poisoned fangs into my veins In mos
ment and l would never have had chance
TO strike back or In any way TO defepd
myself
The commissioners. listening to this
graphic story that breathed of the air OF
the forest looked about them on the moor.
Of, han, drax h.ip aef n
If afraid something would crawl up their
trouser legs.
For the love of Moses, Pnchot. don's
give us any more like that!' said Mr..
Hitchcock.
IF there is anything personal in that
snake story" suggested the chairman, L
Iule that ii is out Of order"
1T is in order" declared Mr. Plnchot as
he looked at the chairman with a glare OF
defiance in his eyes. II tell you, gentle-
men that snake Is not In himself OFFENSIVE
1t is only his methods that make him So
The snake had right under nature 8
laws to attack me in order to secure food
don't complain of that. But his methoas
don't appeal to me as those that care 70
have engrafted on this commission why
not bring the men we are entrapping here.
put them on the defensive, and let In the
light Of publicity on our proceedings, SO
that all men may see what we do day by
dav Let them 20 on the defensive. Let
us act openly. II they are scoundrels we'h
catch them, and the entire public service
will be made better by the daily news oS
how we are probing this great workshop.
The forester remained silent a few mo~
ments. as If waiting for some one to speak.
but no one Offering to break the awful stills,
ness of the place.
Turn Somersaults.
.Pinchot" said MIR. Garfield, you know
we are all bully. good fellows. We wouldn't
injure any man who comes here. / think
that yarn of yours is pretty tough on u.s.
Then there was a commotion in the room.
The members were watching Mr. Garfield.
He gave his body a powerful lunge for
ward, and, like an adept, turned completely
around in the air.
What in the world are you doing Gar.
field?r inquired the chairman
Turning a somersault, just to see If
could do it. You know that is what we will
have to do If we decide to hold these