davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-06-27

A man is no sooner elected 10 OF
fie than he begins TO look for an as
sistant to do the work.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-06-27

Time may be money, but it is hard
for man to make his creditors be-
lieYe il.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-06-27

A woman's worst fault is her incll
nation to believe everything that a
man tells her.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-06-27

Too many men make the mistake
of believing that they are smarter
than other people.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1905-06-27
$4,000 worth of
Mems Clothing

that will be dumped in the Great Sweeping
Sale. We have put il Iu three divisions and
there Is not a suit reserved.
In our Spring and summer 3-pecc suits we
give you choice of the lot in the Sweeping
Sale. There are $3.50, Sl5, Sl7 80 and $50
suits in the lot. Your choice IN M
In r2-picce Flannel, Homcspun and Wool
Crash suits we give you the pick of the
lot in this Great Sweeping O. m
Sale for r.................... OJ.UU
We have placed on a counter Suits of every
description that were sold up to as high as
Great sas sse5 sssoens sn@as sao o los oe Haf Price
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
I borough Work Of Japs

commissariat officers, samples the va
rious foods, fruits and vegetables sold
by the natives along the line of march,
long before the arrival of the army. IL
the food is tainted or the fruit is over
ripe or the water requires boiling,
notice is posted to that effect, and
such is the respect and discipline of
every soldier, from the commanding
officer to the file in the ranks, that
obedience to it's orders is absolute.
The medical officer is also found in
camp lecturing the man on sanitation
and the hundred and one details of
personal hygiene-how to cook and
to eat and when not to drink or TO
bathe-even to the pairing and cleans
ing of the finger nails to prevent dan
ger from bacteria.
Long before the outbreak of hos
tilities he was with the advance
agents of the army, testing provisions
that were being collected for the
troops that were to follow. AS con-
sequence of these precautions he is
not found treating thousands of cases
of intestinal diseases and other con-
tagion and fevers that follow improper
subsistence and neglected sanitation
diseases that have brought many
campaigns to disastrous termina-
tiOnS"
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
SJ-vt-.vt--.~vt--.-va.-.sv
5 He Understood Mules
L3.e.--~9N...-

On street corner in the northwest
forenoon quite a large crowd had
collected. II had formed a ring, or,
rather, square, about some object
In the center, two sides having con-
gregated on each side of the curb,
while the others made a rather thin
line on the other side of the square
The on-lookers to whatever was going
on did not seem in the least excited.
but there was every indication of
much interest in the situation.
Drunken women fighting" said one
Of two young women who were pass
ing near by. Its most disgraceful,
and those people placidly looking on.
If they were men they'd stop it," she
said to her companion. Its degrad-
ing"
An old gentleman in the same To-
cality was explaining to another one
an epileptic fit. Poor fellow" he
said; land no one knows what to do
for him.
1t was evident that the gathering
was an inactive one, and the reporter
whose duty it is to investigate every
thing fastened to the scene and
found out that a stout, well-propor-
toned mule had slipped on the pave
ment and was apparently well salts
fed with his recumbent situation. The
fact was that he resented every we'll
meant attempt to hoist him from his
contact with mother earth, while his
Disguised driver, a colored boy about
90 years old, was actually sobbing
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
Oddities Of South Africa

communication. He concluded, how
ever, that everything was all right,
and he lit the charges, expecting to
be hauled up in the bucket. His sec
ond signal not being answered, he be-
gan to climb the rope in hurry to
get away from the dynamite He was
too slow and the conclusion of the
discharge knocked him off. He fell
into the bucket, where he remained
until all the charges had exploded. He
was only slightly hurt.
And there was a curious incident
near Harding recently. A native was
riding along a pathway at sunrise,
when he saw the head and arms of
man sticking. out of the ground, the
arms waving wildly in signal of dis
tress. The fellow was imprisoned in
an ant-bear hole and wah half dead.
When he was resuscitated he told how
he had been coming back on foot from
johannesburg with some friends when
he was taken ILL.,. His friends thought
he was going to die and stuck him in
the ant-bear hole and deserted him.
When he recovered he prosecuted hisV
friends and they went to prison"
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

One of the most unique and inter
esting features of the Japanese plan
Of campaign is the Importance of the
tasks assigned to the doctors. Maj.
Louis Livingstone Seamon of the Unit
ed States army says in his recently
published book: THE medical officer
is omnipresent. You will find him in
countless places where in an Ameri-
can or British army he has no place.
He is as much at the front as in the
rear He is with the screen of the
scouts with his microscope and chemi-
Gals, testing and labelling wells so that
the army to follow shall drink no con-
taminated water. When the scouts
reach a town he Immediately insti-
tutes a thorough examination Of its
sanitary condition and if contagion or
infection is found he guarantees and
places a guard around the dangerous
district. Notices are posted so that
the approaching column is warned
and no soldiers are billeted where
danger exists. Microscopic blood tests
are made in all fever cases and bac-
THEOLOGICAL experts. fully equipped,
form part of the staff of every di-
visional headquarters.
THE medical officer also accompa-
MES foraging parties and, with the
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

Though the days of the long tricks
over trackless wastes of South Africa
are past, life in this country still has
little diversities peculiar to ITSELF"
writes a correspondent. For in
stance, a farmer named Long was re-
Gently troubled by leopard that had
been destroying his cattle. The ma
tives surrounded it one day in the
long grass and sent for the white man
to kill it. While searching for the
brute in the tangle of vegetation Mr..
Long came across him sooner than
he expected and the leopard got the
jump on him. There was a fierce
struggle and the white man was a good
deal torn up. One of his negroes got
in lucky shot and killed the leopard
just before the latter got at the mans
throat.
odd things happen in the mines,
too, once in a while. A miner named
Wonacott recently passed through a
most exciting experience at Dutoit-
span. He had charged four boreholes
with dynamite in the usual way and
then endeavored to signal to the en-
gine-driver. but failed to establish
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

with anger and vexation of spirit. All
sorts of suggestions were hurled at
him, but nobody seemed to want to
help him in his distress. There was
danger in it. The mule was wild
eyed and vicious, and used both fore
legs as battery to keep folks away
from him, until at last the driver sat
down on the shafts of the cart, which
had been drawn away from the ami
NAL, and INDUCED in long. bitter
thought.
Just then an old colored man, wear
ing an old-fashioned blue army over
coat and red worsted comforter
about his neck, stepped into the open
space, walked bravely up to the now
quiet quadruped and took hold of both
of his ears. He seemed to whisper
to the beast, but whatever he did act
Ell like magic. The mule got upon
his feet, permitted himself to be
hitched again to his cart, and the
crowd went away.
"You seem to know how to deal
with mules" said the reporter to the
old fellow. Deed | does, sub" was
the reply. / knows all about mules
and they does me. Fore Gawd, boss,
| wasn't brought up in old Missouri
for nothing. Yass'r, muels and me is
kinfolks, sho's you bon. En- think
dat jobs wuff ten cents. Don't you.
boss?"
The crowd had melted away. and
as there was no one else by to re-
spond to this palpable hint the report
er did so. And thus the chapter end
Washington Star.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
When the Worm Turn e d

Hers was the modern mania for "beauti-
flying things;
She went in strong
For the Chinese gong,
And statues without wings;
Her walls were hung with draperies OF
curious design,
And her pictures rare,
Arranged with care,
On no particular line;
And all her friends who saw the place.
Declared that IL was "Fine!
Her husband was a business man, on
lust plain comfort bent;
He furnished the mum,
And let her run
The place, without dissent;
Great stacks of beaten BRASS she
bought, and sticks Of scented punk;
In his secret soul
Each brazen bowl
He classified as Junk,
Although he never told her so.
He didn't have the spunk!
And then the Sanitation" craze pos
sessed her for a while;
She routed germs
In medical terms
That only made him smile;
She "steriized" the whole darn place
and everything they ate,
Such rules" observed
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
Worse Than the West.

MY" exclaimed the Western man,
these Eastern people certainly do
beat us when it comes to lynchin's
and the like"
What are you tallIin' about?" de-
manded his wife.
Down by the station just now /
heard a couple O. female tourists
from the East talllin' about their par
lor hangin's. philadelphia Public
Ledger.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

That steak was served
On an anti microbe plate,
And still he never said a word,
But let her navigate.
She took down all the draperies and
painted all the walls,
Until the rooms
Resembled tombs
And whitewashed stable stalls:
Then she declared that hygiene prescribed
the proper rest;
She bought twin" beds
And turned their heads
Exactly nor or'west,"
And still her lord and master
Hadn't courage to protest.
But then at last she hit upon a biggN,
brighter fad;
She was elate,
So up-to- date
The new idea she had.
She moved the beds out on the porch
to sleep in open air;
The scheme was bold
Twas bitter cold
She thought he would not care:
But Gee! When he came home thai
You should have heard him swear!
Anna Marble.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
Supposed II Had Settled.

I'VE think" wrote the manufacture
ers of printing machinery. that it is
about time you were paying some
thing on the press you bought of us.
1t is now about a year since you got
it,"
Il wasn't aware that | owed you
anything" answered the editor of the
Tallgrass Bazoo by return mail. you
told me when | ordered the press that
it would pay for itself in six months"
Chicago News.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
Her Impression.

There is German family on the
West Side that has lately hired a col
cred girl fresh from the country. The
other day when the daily order of
pretezls arrived the new girl sent
them back.
why, Melinda, what did you do
that for?" asked her mistress.
Deed missus," replied Melinda,
dat foolish baker done forgot Ell put
all de salt on de outside. Chicago
News
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

An irregularity of seam is often seen
in the continuous suture owing to the
TACT that, although the needle has
passed at right angles to the incision
at each stitch, there is an oblique
pull upon the lips of the wound when
the suture is finished. This is avoid
ed by passing the needle after each
stitch through the lop of the proceed
ing one, thus making a sort of con-
tinuous chain called the Glover SUI
ture," and. making each stitch partly
independent of the re
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
Two Forms of Sutures.

There are two forms of sutures for
drawing the edges of wounds togeth-
er. They are the interrupted and con-
tinuous. The former is employed
when only one or two stitches are
used; the latter when the wound has
to be regularly sewed. like a seam.
BY the continuous suture with each
stitch, which is independently fast
ened, IL the thread should break in
one stitch the wound would be held.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
None Left Over.

Clubberly-What did your wife say
when you got in this morning?
Leightman-She said she wouldn't
waste any words on me.
Clubberly-Ah, you were lucky.
Leightman-No much. She didn't
waste any, for | believe she used ev-
cry one she could think Of
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
His Share of Trouble.

"rhings are very DEAR" said the dis
satisfied citizen.
YES" said Senator Sorghum; 'but
we are all feeling it alike. | can re-
member the time when votes could
be bought for dollar apiece that can't
be. bought now at any price. Wash.
ington Star.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
Where BaImy Breezes Blow.

"He lived in low, rambling
house."
But understood you to say it had
only two rooms!"
That's true, but this vas in the cy-
clone district of Kansas. New Or
leans Times-Democrat.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
Versatility.

Does versatility count for anything
in the theatrical profession?"
at does" answered Mr.. Storming-
ton Barnes, eff it is the right kind of
versatility. / am now looking for a
man who can do anything from load
ing trunks on a dray to wearing a
dress suit and taking tickets"
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

Riveter Summerfeld fell 140 feet
from the Williamsburg bridge into the
water, swan around until picked up
by a tug, came ashore and called for
ball" There's the simple American
life for you.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
Not WiIlinu to Paw.

well. sir" brusquely inquired the
girls father, what can l do for your"
"Why-er-I called, sir" stammer-
ed the timid sutton, ito see fer
you would give assent to my marriage
to your daughter"
Not cent, sir, not a cent. Good
day."
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
The ShreW.

She-They say that the best hus-
bands are always thoughtful in little
things. Are you that way, Mr.. Smith?
Smith-No, l don't have to be; my
wife always calls attention to them
before l have a chance to think.-De-
troit Free Press.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

A letter to Santa Claus was opened
in Oklahoma the other day. 1t read:
"Dear Santa: | am a little Indian
boy, years old. Please bring me a
typewriter" We guess poor Lo is
coming on all right.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

Somebody calls attention to the fact
that a strike among farmers never
has been known. OF course not. The
cows have to be MIXED and the
weeds have to be pulled out of the
onion bed whether the farmer is sat
isfed with what he gets or not.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

A scientific sharp has just declared
that every drop of water taken into
the body means additional work for
the heart" The young man who finds
that his heart is running away with
him should step up to the faucet and
take long, cooling drink.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

Tho Atlanta Constitution has been
trying to tell its readers what the
"zemstvo" is, and from the result of
its labors we are forced to the con-
clusion that It would be considerably
easier to tell what IL isn't.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
Ellis Cavities and Extracts.

who is this gentleman whom you
always take with you in the auto?"
"Oh, there are so many tacks
thrown in the street lately. He's a
dentist. Amusant.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
Necessary.

Optimist-Yes, there's a place for
every one in this world.
Pessimist-I can't see any use in a
lot of old cranks!
Optimist-Why, the world is only
a big piece of machinery and it could
mt revolve without them!-Detroit
Free Press.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

The Congregationalist remarks that
ministers would sometimes preach bet
ter if they read the Wall Street Jour
nal oftener. But mightn't they be
induced to speculate?
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
Very Likely.

Gee whizz! you're SLOW" remarked
the hare.
Il know it," the tortoise admitted.
81 suppose If there's anything in this
transmigration theory must have
been a messenger boy at one time"
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

There is something essentially hum
orous in the dispatch which says that
M. Delcasse is moving cautiously in
demanding redress from Morocco, lest
the sultan proclaim holy war"
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

That new, wonderful telegraphic ap-
paratus, that is said to be capable of
transmitting 500 words minute, could
almost keep up with sewing circle.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
Untold AGONY.

Nell-She wants to see you.
Belle haven't seen her for some
time.
Nell guess she's been sick. She
says she has been suffering untold
agony.
Belle-Oh, that may mean simply
that she's got some secret she wants
to tell me-
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

Twenty women testified that Bar
bara Long of Mahony City, Pa, is a
common scold who has a tongue like
a whipsaw. If she has a husband he
deserves to go to heaven.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
Needs to Be Made of Dust.

But doesn't it seem strange that
the Lord should have made man of
dust?"
mot at all. OF course, the Lord
knew that Eve was to be created
next"
"Well?"
well, a man must be made of dust
who is going to have woman depend
ent on him."
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
Not in His Line.

whats them letters you got up
there over the door?' demanded MI
ritch, inspecting the plans for his new
mansion.
That" replied the architect, sis
'S-a-l-v-e,' which means"
"'Salve?' l never made any in my
life. My money was made in soap.
Take 'em down. Philadelphia Press.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

1t is said that large hats are "again
in favor" Are they not always in ia
vor? Where is the woman who is con-
tent with less than an acre and half
of new HAITI
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

mar was arrested down East the
other day for marrying his motherin-
law. 1t was probably on an insane
warrant.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

A girl in New Jersey eats coal,
waste paper, toothpicks, bits of string,
etc, She seems to have what might
be called the regular New Jersey &C.
lopus appetite.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
Arms and the Man.

Winkle-Count Duello is a daring
swordsman.
Twinkle-Yes; he ran through a
cool million without any trouble.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
CorcIess.

Have you heard about this new
variety of apple that will soon be
placed on the market?'
Eyes. There amt a-going to be no
core "-Cleveland Leader.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

King Alfonso of Spain narrowly es-
capped being hurt in an automobile ac-
cident the other day. The boy should
stick to his hobby horse few years
longer.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

A New Jersey clergyman advises
know all about his past. He must
be a member of the Race Suicide
club.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
Not That Sort.

Not That Sort.
Mr.. Kloseman-My dear, I'm afraid
that sealskin sack | promised you
Mrs. Kloseman-That's enough,
John; you promised it, and
Mr.. Kloseman-But we've got to
economize. You must make some sac
rifice
Mrs. Kloseman (determinedly)-
Yes, but it won't be a sealskin sack
rifce.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

That Philadelphia judge may regret
his learned decision on the kissing
question if his wife institutes manda-
mus proceedings to make him tell
how he happens to know so much
about it.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

The dean of the university of Chi
cago has troubled the girls there by
disclosing the fact that the average
age of the graduating coed is &c.
This explains many things.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

Homer Davenport, cartoonist, has
joined young Mr.. Rockefellers Bible
class. 1t is to be hoped that devout
scriptural study is his only object.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

Prof A. ]. Crooks of Northwestern,
who gained fame when he told the
students he had never kissed wom-
an, has married. Well, it's never too
late to learn.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

Although the king of bunco men is
dead, there are many Of his loyal sub
jects still alive. And they aren't all
in the big cities, either.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

A Philadelphia Judge has delivered
a profound opinion regarding kissing,
that institution having at last reach
ed Philadelphia.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
Like Betting on a Sure Thing.

Cholly-Do you think that Miss Old
maybe is really very anxious to get
married?
Polly-Well, think that before a
man proposes to her he should be
mighty certain that he loves her.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
Proper Term.

Myer-Yes, in order to get away un-
observed he resorted to a subterfuge.
Gyer-I see. He's a sort Of subter-
fugitive, as it were.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

The increase of suicide among rich
people is exciting some people. Have
we not always said happiness could
not be bought with cash?
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
SUPERIOR Man.

Bacon-Do you think man is supe-
rior to an animal?
Egbert-Sure thing. Why, scme
men can kick more with only two
feet than a mule can once in q while.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
Cold Cars in CHICAGO.

II understand there is no danger
from bacteria in the Chicago street
cars"
why not?"
"They freeze to death. cleveland
Plain-Dealer.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

The laziness microbe is known also
by the name of the hook worm. 1t is
not surprising that fishermen are
among it's favorite victims.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

A man in Maryland boasts of hav-
ing voted -seventy-five times in his
life. If he got his money every time,
ne must be pretty well fixed.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

King Peter of Servia is busy de-
stroying the freedom Of the press in
that country. 1t will probably not
take him long.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
Where She Kept Them.

Where She Kept Them.
Miss Passay-It was SO cold in my
bedroom last night that my teeth posi-
lively"
Miss Pepprey-O, come now!
Miss Passay-I say my teeth posi-
lively chartered all the time.
Miss Pepprey-O, / thought you
were going to say you found them
frozen in the tumbler of water this
morning.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
Corrected.

She-Oh, you men, with your prov
cribs. You say that knowledge is
power, yet
He--Well, isn't It?
She-Knowledge? No, it's the way
you do your hair-Brooklyn Life.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28
Mo Evidence to the Contrary.

Friend think her mother is
sensible woman.
The Lover-Well-a-I don't think
she likes me.
Friend-Oh, merely said she was
a sensible woman.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

John j. Dowd. scissors grinder,
died, leaving fortune OF $4,000.
John was a sharp business man.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

Harry Lehr is to retire from soci'
ETY.. Must be going into impolite
vaudeville.
Charlevoix county herald., 1905-01-28

G. A. LIsK, Publisher