The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1905-04-19
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sllS. TN

vitty3 -sir!-NSw York sur.
Ths coal man should be broaghk ia
| 90 The srsor Of bis weishs.-PAilalyl.
phiA Record.
"Doee Me-. Reuben Haybrick k>ep
boards1Vr "Hs takes 'em. but he
lon't keep 'sm."-Chicaso CAraniale. Z
Eia-Hs comes Of good family,
Doesn't hef Stalla-Yes, he's he only
thins ] know against it.-Iow1
Topics
Johnny-Pa, II It wrong to stsai
ffo0 Q trust? Johnny's Pa-Doat lot
the question bother you. my son. It's
impossible. Cleveland Ledger.
Gourmand latter q table d'hots)--
Anything else. waiter7 Waiter-Ons
more peach, cir, and you'll ave eat
the menu.--London Bystander.
Deg amt no Sch thing q gittin'
married In heaven" "Counss dsy aln't
Don't Dc Bible tell you irs place er
peace On restr'-Atlanta Constitution.
Mrs. Hattenon-I mdn't So you at
the lecture on ''The Simple IAfe." Mrs.
Cuttsrson-Why. no; had no idea II
vas going to be such 4 swell aftalr.-
Brooklyn Life.
Wife-It u 20 kind Of you to put ON
my boots for me. Kneeling Husband
(tugg1ng away)-Its a-a-pleasurs.
my dear. still. I'm glad yeu'rs not .
eenupeds. -Piek-Ms-Up.
Miss Ritter Could you use anything
In your Household Department this
week. Country Editor-Yes, we could
handle couple Of dozen Of fresA eggs
nicely.-Nsw York Times.
what conclusion does that cam.
paign orator reach IN his argumentf'
He never arrives at Z conclusion.
He merely stops now and then to take
Observation-Disclosures Star.
Willie-Tsacher told US to-day that
there's q certain kind O. tree that
grows out O. rocks. can't remember
what 1t was. His Pa-It's q family
tree. I g,iess.-Philadelphia Ledger.
The Irish lady declared to the mag
istrats that the defendant had stolen
her hen. "How do you know It u
your hem" asked the Judge. "Know
it!" cried the irate lady. X have
known that hen ever since It was An
egg"
You probably don't remember me."
began the self-made man proudly.
but twenty years ago. when / was .
poor. humble boy. you gave me
message to carry" "Yes, SEA-"
cried the busy man. where's the
answsrr'
"You ara the FIRST one to whom I
have shown this poem," the young
poet went on: II was wooing the muas
last night" Poor fellowr' replied
the editor, handing back the manu-
script. ITS too bad she rejected you"
Chicago Journal.
Hicks-How do you happen 10 b
going fishing on Friday! thought
you believed Friday was an unlucky
day. Wicks-Well. always have.
But It occurred to me this morning
that perhaps It would bs unlucky for
the dsh.-Soinervills Journal.
I'm afraid you're net WISE" sald
the fair girl. "WhyT demanded the
persistent suitor. because q worn b
the wise u Sufficient and I have said
No. to you" "Yes, but I'm wise
enough b know that q woman's No
may eventually mean ss.'"-Phila.
delphiA Press.
At the end Of thirty years Hiram
had accumulated q fortune. His wife
and daughter were delighted. For"
said they. with becoming modesy. I'VE
now not only have money enough to
cut q splurge. but poor dear papa u
too broken down to appear among the
best psopls."-Life.
ITS 70 long since you last called
upon mo Was beginning to think you
were Forgetting me-" said Miss Pechia,
AZ she came down to the young man
in the parior. 'l'm for getting yea"
replied the ardent youth. ''and its for
getting you that I've called tonight
Can ! have your'-Kennebsc JournaL
Ths passenger who had been holding
himself up BY strap eat down in .
ssat that had just besn vacatsd
There 10 plenty Of room. ma'am." hs
said to the pudgy. little matron sittins
next. Don't move" I'VE don't have
TO-" she said, With a cheerful smile,
I'VE own, the house we live in."-Chi-
cago Tribune.
II tell ~ what" asserted Old Man
spiegsts. "that there painter Teller II
10 Nne art1sE" what impressed you
about his woghr' "Wsil. Their was q
pictur 10 called The RainstoFm.' an
I swau. It was that natral that
hadn't looked at It three minutes b..
fore my corns begin hurtin' me-
Cleveland Leader.
"ProspesttyT said DR.. enghcsa, he
eminent surgeon. There u altogether
too much prosperity! II 10 killing bust
nesa" I'm what wayr' asked the
other. "why, cir, almost anybody
can afford to have appeuAicftia NOVA.