The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1905-04-19

graph.
John D. Rockefeller is a skins' said
the drummer eNplosively. The corporation 1
before, he Subsidiaries BatteH LOOMS.
HUAIoR OF THE DAY.
So Like a Brother.-Brother-" Mabers
doing her hair an aWfully rippin' way
now. 1t makes her seem quite pretty.
You ought to try it.'-Punch.
Some philosopher says, The man Of
one thing is the man of success I'll
bet he never tried to light his pipe on a
windy day when he had only one match
left. Chicago Record-Herald-
What do you consider the six best
books of the year, Mr.. Ego?" asked the
piled Mr.. Ego, the novelist, i've only
written two books this year, you know"
Philadelphia Press.
IF a millionaire was to offer YOU
s109.000 would you ask him if he made
it honestly % No would you dues-
ton his morals?' NO. what would
you do?' I'd probably fall IN a fit."-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Mama-"Whent that naughty boy threw
stones at you why didn't you come and
tell me instead of throwing them back
good would it do to tell you; you
couldn't hit a side Of a house. wash
ington Life.
80 they smashed your laundry and
looted your cash drawer" said the pO-
lice judge. They did" answered the
intelligent Chinaman. And what did
you do?" Nothing. They followed the
usual custom and convinced me that it
was to my interest to remain neutral
Washington Star.
Miss FIyme-sOh! Mr.. Nocoyne,
how lovely of you to bring me these
beautiful rosesi How sweet they are
and how fresh! do believe there is
little dew on them yeti" Mr. Nocoyne-
''W-well, yes-there is, about so cents,
I think; but I'll pay it tomorrow. -
Cleveland Leader.
That's an unhealthy pipe you're
smoking" Unhealthy? Nonsense; it's
getting stronger every day.''-Cleveland
Leader.
spacer-'ocyyhy did the editor refuse
didn't come up to the standard Of the
advertisements. Life.
self, you know yes, but r age is
telling on her at last Wing ingrati-
tude!"-Punch.
Have you really no affection for
any other girl, dear?" she asked Of
her nance. NO" replied the drug
clerk, absent-mindedly, but I hang
something just as good-'-Philadel-
phia Ledger.
Mrs. Jones (reading) man in
Ohio sells his wife to a blind peddlec
for ten cents. Isn't that awful ?" Mr.
Jones-''It certainly is-anybody who
viii stick a blind man is no good
Puck
what I admire about Rojestven-
sky" said one Russian officer, lis his
reckless bravery" Reckless brav-
ery?'' Eyes, in allowing himself to get
into the same ocean with the Jap
anese. Washington Star.
What! fifty cents for box Of straw
berries!" she exclaimed. "Exorbitant!
Besides, they're half green" Il know,
ma am" replied the dealer, but they
amt enough in a box to hurt yer. -
Philadelphia Press
what are you going to be able to
save out of your business failure ~
MY honor" "Gad! Total loss Ell ?"
Cleveland Leader.
Miss Fluffy-ssVhat do you think is
the most important part Of woman's
dress? Married Mantle cost
Deroit Free Press,
"And." said the Sunday school
teacher, sFEYhen Delilah cut Samson's
hair he became mild as a lamb. Can
you understand that?" well, ma am.
replied Tommy, at does make yer feel
shamed when a woman cuts yer
hair. ''-Philadelphia Ledger
seWi1 you be my wife, Guenlvere 20
NO, Charles. I think far too much Of
you for that. I still want your friend
ship. Let me be your stenographer.
That is the only way in which can
submit to mans dictation. ''--Cineiu-
matte Commercial Tribune.
Look herel" exclaimed the irate in
weston. Il believe ! have been bum
coed in the stock you sold mo. My
dear man." replied the suave-yoiced
broker, you fail to realize" That's
just the trouble; I haven't realized a
cent. Chicago Daily News.
The Monomaniac-Dan-''I wonder if
the Koh-i-noor is still the biggest dia-
mond there is?'' FAM don0 where
that place Kohinoor is, but if tn dfa-
mond's any more'n 90 feet each way it
amt regulation an oughtn't to be recog-
nized. Baltimore American.
-a--
The Presidential NimrOd,
Nov what frightened crush we see
AS all the brutes go by;
The wolf would like to climb a tree,
The boar would ike to fly.
Or Or else fhey're On the run ne
It's time for action, they allow.
When Teddy gets his gun
The grizzly bear. whose waddling gait
Is ike a sailors roll
Doth not show fight. nor hesitate
To hunt a likely hole.
The wildcats fairly wild, they say
And fees from sun to sun