Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1905-03-11

9 would be the most charm
q - ing emotion could expert
G0S ence."
Mr.. Raspberry used often to say this
to his valet, and the valet always an.
swered:
La, sir, you couldn't do it, sir, you
know; because after folks is expired
why, they air removed from this here
vale of tears, sir. / think-beggng
pardon sir-that it would be an unhap-
piness."
mo, no, Perkins," said Mr.. Rasp-
berry-"no, no; you don't understand
these finer feelings"
To which the valet always replied:
mo, slr-prObably not sir"
This was before Mr.. Raspberry
wedding, and for year after this cere-
mony Perkins had heard nothing of the
formerly often-expreSsed wish.
But one winter morning, as Mr. Rasp-
berry read the account of a dreadful
railway accident, lie said again, as
though he had never left off:
Glow delightful it would be to see
ones friends mourn for one"
This time Perkins answered:
'Rut missus would take on sO.'
"The very thing" said Mr.. Rasp-
berry. perkins, can you keep Sc
cretY'
'Inwaluate," said Perkins, who was
prone to the use of words but vaguely
understOod-'in waluate."
"Then. Perkins" said Mr. Raspberry
81 am going to meet with railway
accident. It's all arranged" said Mr..
Raspberry.
Gracious said Perkins.
Dear me, sir; I hope not, sir" said
Perkins.
''I'm 10 be put at the head of the list
of killed." said Raspberry. "A reporter
I know has promised to do 1t. On an
average, there's an accident week
the next one I'm to be in"
beg pardon, sir--wOn't it be susin-
cide?" asked Perkins.
"I don't mean to be killed." said
Raspberry -"OnIy reported 500
Lar said Perkins; but poor young
missus."
'The very thing" said Raspberry.
81 am much older than she is-twenty
years" He was fOrty-fiye. "And !
should like to see how. she would
mourn for me after l was gone, if ii
should be my fate to so first. / shall
bid her adicu as though going upon
journey, and then hide myself in these
rooms of mine. When the accident
occurs and she sees the paper, I'll take
care to be at hand. My nephew, Julius,
will grieve, too. I've been indulgent
TO him, and she will break her little
heart"
Eyes, sir; but, sir, won't she be angry
when she finds out it's a hoax" asked
Perkins.
''She shall never find 1t out" said
Raspberry, ''never. I'll tell her it was
false report. That 1 was on the
train, but escaped"
Eyes, sir" said Perkins, doubtfully,
and he brushed his masters hair in
thoughtful manner.
RemOnstrance was in his eye, but
Mr.. Raspberry cared nothing for that
He had determined on his course Of
conduct.
That very day lie went through
little drama of his own connection, re-
ceived n letter, declared that urgent
business required his presence in an
other city, packed valise, bade adieu
to his wife, and jumped into q cab at
the door
At midnight he was secretly assisted
to re-enter the house by back win
dow, and repaired to his dressing room,
secretly provlsioned as for siege,
with pOIed meats, biscuit, canned fruit
and other delicacles, by the active Per.
kins.
There he remained for at least a
week before Perkins, CHANGING over the
morning paper, saw list of the killed
and wounded in great black letters IN
the front page, with Mr.. Royal Rasp-
berry's name at the head thereof.
Then Perkins heart quailed
cts too bad for missus,p he unused.
''If she is sorry it may half kill her.
If she isn't, she'll pay for it. I'll tell
her, and il am fred for II. hope
I'll find n master with more hair to
fix and less anxious TO have 1t done
various and becoming"
Then Perkins took the paper and
walked into his lAdy's sitting room.
'Please'm," he said, 1--WE got some
filing to tell yOu-don't be alarmed-it's |
about master"
"Oh, Perklnsw cried the lady. ooh,
Perkins! you've got the newspaper!
What is it? Oh! oh! OH"
ut amt nuthin' of that natur'," said |
Perkins master is alive, and well, |
and upstairs, eating potted shad and |
crackers"
"When did he Gomez" asked the |
wife, 'and what do you mean by shut |
ting the door,"
Perkins," cried Mr.. Raspberry's |
nephew, julius, III you have anything |
to tell, out with it; don't stanl there |
alarming us. My dear uncle is not
lflF'
HE will be If he eats much more
shad." said Perkins, but he's well at