The San Francisco call., 1905-08-27

mOtnefS Dts1ppTOtc VI
CbiIdrcn Often Too Tenderly
Nurtured Gymnastic Training
in Reason, as Important as the
A, y. C's.
Copyright, 1906, by Joseph 3. Bowles.)
- OOTBALL, baseball. baskefpall,
hurdle races, high jumps. feats OF
skill and strength. athletic compe-
titions of all kinds are having the
right of way to-day. We talk about
them with kindling eyes. They form the
staple of our breakfast table discussions.
Everybody reads the reports in the news
papers, everybody rushes to see the
games, everybody praises, criticizes,
shouts for giadness or groans for rexa-
ton. according as the people he or she
cares for lose or win.
We are more and more glorifying ath-
letics. To hear us, ore would fancy tat
our universities existed, not to make
scholars, but to send ferthr runners and
racers and champions in the football
field, The old prowess OF knights armed
cap-a pie. who met In tilt and tourna-
ment III the middle ages, is at present
transferred to the gymnasium and the
open plain, where well matched parties
contend In stubborn fight
MIR. Carnegie has put himself on rec.
ord as, on the whole. discounting ath-
letics in favor of scholarship, 1t was
time that somebody took this ground,
for though sport and recreation have
their place they are by no means all of
life.
First and foremost, they are often
ISSre<<ysr<ce<>>><<>l x>e><s<e ey,<>>n< eeeer.-c,
as beneficial in it's results to both par
ties as the first, if only 1t be not a mar
riage of convenience. When people mar
ry for any lower reason than mutual
esteem, and wish to help one another
on the road OF life, they are likely to ar
rive at failure and disappointment They
have dared to lay profane hands on the
ark of God.
If a woman marry her second hus-
band because he has wealth and can
give her opportunities for herself or for
the children of her own first marriage
that otherwise she cannot compass she
is taking a tremendous risk. OF one
such marriage I think, where the gal
lantry of the lover fell away like a
husk the day after the marriage. and
the wife found herself united indeed to
Il millionaire, but as well TO sordid
miser. From the ample house to which
he took her the hired help w;Is sent
away, and she was bluntly told that he
hurried her that he might save money.
When man looking about him for d
second wife decides that this woman
or that will make him good house,
keeper, that she will do his mending
and preside we'll at his table, and so
addresses her, emitting all thought of
romance, he is not likely to give or re-
ceive much happiness. Such a union is
hopeless in the higher sense. Married
happiness must have love for it's foun-
dation stone. All satisfying pleasure
by the hearth is kindled by the breath
of true love. This is as true in a sec
ond or third marriage as in the first
We must admit that people some
times find their true mates later rather
than earlier in life We are not the
same people at 30 that we were at 20
nor at so that we We're at 35. Our char
acters have broadened We have taken
In new ideas from many sources.
Great disparity of age should be
avoided. The man of 50 seldom seeks
wife near him in age. but let him
beware of paying court to very young
girl. She and he will look at life from
different standpoint They will not
be on the same plane If she be social
and he prefers an armchair and the
evening lamp at home, there will be in
.evitable jars.
A father who has young daughters
in their early womanhood should not
bring into their mothers place u wife
who is about the age of his own eldest
girl. Occasionally, but rarely, such a
choice turns out we'll When it does
1t reflects great honor on all con-
cerned. Generally 1t results in heart
ache and friction all around and often
it causes broken home and irreconcil-
able antagonism follows.
Many wives would do well to cease their
laborious struggle and no longer neces-
sary self-abnegation when prosperity
comes to their husbands, and to begin at
once the sort of life his second wife
would live. They may as we'll array
themselves in soft raiment and insist on
adequate help In the household before
they are laid upon a sickbed. Excellent
and devoted husbands are often thought
less. To their eyes Jenny looks well in
anything. 1t never occurs to them that
she is wearing a frumpy gown or a
dowdy hat. They would be willing to
give her anything she craved il they
recognized lack. By every law the first
marriage. that union of hearts which be-
gins when man and woman are in the
gladness and strength of their early day.
should be the one perfect and rounded
sphere. the one glorious fruition within
because human nature is poor, inper-
feet thing of shreds and patches. But it
may be made ideal if people live up to
heir privileges of goodness and unself-
ishpeSS.
A second marriage should not have to
face criticism and unkind comment. 1t,
too, should have chance for expansion
in all that is worth while. A man once
said to me: when my first wife died /
determined to remain faithful to her
memory, and for tan years / did. But l
married then, and now l am sorry for
the possible seven years l might have.
had with the dearest woman in the world.
my second wife. Why did l not find her
sooner? Life is short. we are growing
old. / think / did Mary no good by my
long loneliness, and l am sure she would
say so could she see me with Jane
wonder! / am afraid that Mary. could
she return, would look with mournful
gaze on her successor. But the dead do
not come back. and in heaven they neith-
er marry nor are given in marriage.