Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-07-22


bus discover cats eating catIip when
he landed on these shores? Did the
pilgrim fathers bring their cats and
catnip along to Plymouth rock? Wo-
man, answer me, or admit that you
were trying to belittle your own hus-
band in his own house?
Call can say is that cats love cat
nip" she replied.
s'You make that as plain statement
Of fact do you?"
81 do"
"Then l will prove that you don't
know what you are talking about and
need a guardian"
Mr.. Bowser claxNed on his hat and
took a walk. he knew his family
butcher to be an ex-farmer, and he
called at his shop and looked around,
and then in a casual way inquired:
Jones, did you use to raise catnip
on your farmY'
"The old woman raised a few
bunches-just enough for her CATS"
was the reply.
How for her catsY"
"Why, cats eat it like fun, particu-
larly about this time O. year. If you
have a cat over home and she Is all
ing just let her get at bunch Of cat
nip"
and you stand there and tell me
that catnip is so called because cats
nip at it?"
II never heard any other reason"
'"Then you don't know enough to
come in when it rains! Cats and cat
nip have no more to do with each
other than bulls and bulrushes. No
wonder you can't tell bones from
beefp'
II can tell jackass when l see
one" exclaimed the butcher, and, after
glazing at him for minute, Mr.. Bow
ser snorted in contempt and walked out.
A farmer who had been selling pota-
toes to the grocer on the corner was
just about starting for home, and Mr..
Bowser walked up and asked him:
"Say, friend, do you grow any cat
nip on your farm?"
mot as CROP" smiled the man.
"Then how do you grow itY'
"A few punches in the garden for
the CATS
"But what has it got to do with
catsY'
Everything. You could have found
that out by asking your wife,"
Mr. Bowser felt like calling him
names and getting up a row, but the
agriculturist was In hurry and was
soon driving away. An old man who
was leaning against barrel had over
heard the conversation and he now
butted in with:
"You must have lived in a catless
country not to have heard about cat
nip"
did / ask for your opinion, sir?"
mo, but when I find q man who
don't know catnip feel it my duty to
post him. wouldn't wander very far
from home if were you. You might
get lost
you old villain! But for your gray
hairs I'd-I'd"- And Mr.. Bowser put
his fist under the others nose and
held it there for a few seconds and
then passed on. His family druggist
was proper man to appeal to, but it
was ten minutes before the searcher
after information entered the store. 1t
was another ten before he asked:
''Doc do cats eat catnip?"
do cows eat grass?" answered the
druggist.
"But is it really true that they doY'
"They love it. Catnip is for cats;
indivisible. You can bet your last dol
lar on that"
But l never heard Of such thing"
Probably not. l believe there are
several things you never heard of.
However, you can settle this thing very
quickly. Here's bunch Of the stuff
I bought for my cat today She's
wandered off somewhere, and you may
take it along"
Mr.. Bowser took the bunch and
walked off. He hadn't got ten feet
from the door when a stray cat me-
owen DIT Ills ue0lS. boIOr0 T0dculLS
the other end Of the block he was being
followed by two more. Another block
and the number was six. When within
hundred feet Of his gate, it seemed
as if there were twenty wauling, me-
owing felines around him, all making
threats against his life if he did not
give up that bunch, and he suddenly
became panic stricken and fed
"Well?" queried Mrs. Bowser as she
opened the front door and found him
on the steps and breathing heavily.
But he gazed steadily at the rising
moon and made no answer He had
been defeated, but he meant to save
his honor M. QUAD.