davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1905-01-10

holes, slammed it on the counter beside
the grocerymans legs and yelled:
Wake up, Rip Van Wrinkle, the day
of judgment has come, and you are
still buried. You got to get move on
you or the procession will go off and
leave you. Say, are you afraid Of rat
tlesnakes," and the bad boy shook the
paper box when an ominous rattle
came from within, as though a snake
had shaken its tail good and plenty.
Great Scott, boy, l believe you have
got a rattlesnake in that box" and he
jumped off the counter and grabbed
an iron fire poker, while the boy got
out his knife to cut the string on the
box. Nov, lookahere, / am suffering
from nervous prostration and snake
turned loose in this store would settle
it with me"
well, wouldn't that skin you" said
the boy, as he sharpened his knife on
piece OF old cheese, and felt of the
edge. Here you have been telling
me for years what brave man you
| were and how you were not afraid OF
anything that wore hair, and now you
have fits because little five-foot rat
tlesnake, with only ten rattles on.
makes formal call on you. Gee, but
you are squaw."
Nov, let up until wait on these
customers said the old man, as he
went to the or and let in commit
tee of women who were to buy some
supplies for church sociable. The
| women lined up on each side of the
store, looking at the canned things on
the shelves, and the old man was try
ing to be polite, when the bad boy
| opened the box and laid on the floor
| stuffed rattlesnake that was as nat
| ural as life, and touched rattlebox
| in his pocket, and the trouble began
The women saw the snake curled up
ready to spring, and they all went
through the door at once. tipping over
everything that was loose, and scream
| ing, while the old man, when he saw
the snake, got into the front show win
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1905-01-10
Net Patentable,

+. That French savant who announces
that gold taken internally is good for
what ails you is not exploiting the.
DRY altogether novel. The st. Paul
Globe remarks that certain remarkable
cures have been effected by the mere ex-
ternal application Of wads Of dirty, old
microbic bills
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1905-01-10
Box on Ear Cures Deafness.

New York.-William Confer, o.
shadyside, N. j., has been deaf for owe,
20 years. He engaged in friendly box.
ing bout few days ago and got a thuml
Oh the ear. Almost instantly he found
he could hear little. and his deafnesi
continued to disappear.
Fame In Punch.
TITS funny how quickly fame comes
to the professional pugilist just one
punch and"
Eyes, he's mere nobody. but some
morning he wakes up and finds him
self famous"
"Oh, no. He doesn't become famous
by waking up, but by putting some
one else to p."-Chicago Journal.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1905-01-10

size of it, and he would eat or die, and
maybe he would die anyway, and just
then wicked-lookiirg negro with big
looked ugly at dad and said: Have
another dozen?' and dad said: 'Yes,'
and then he began to eat as though his
life depended on 1t, and could hear
the great wads Of oysters strike with a
dull thud on exposed places inside of
dad, and before he got up from the ia
BILE he had eaten them all, and he told
the man he would be in again to lunch
after awhile. Dad is the bravest man
I ever saw, and don't you forget 1t.
He would have come out all right, I
suppose, and lived, II it hadn't been for
his devilish morbid appetite for travel
and adventure. Quick as we got out
Of the oyster place dad wanted to take
a steamboat ride down the river to the
Eads jetties at the mouth Of the river.
and we went on board, and had nice
ride down to the mouth. After we
had looked over the jetties. where Eads
made an artificial canal big enough for
the largest ocean steamers to come up
to New Orleans, the passengers wanted
the captain to run the boat outside the
bar, into the blue ocean, where the
waves come from. Gee, but l hope |
may live long enough to forget the
ride. We hadn't got boats length
outside the bar before the boat began
to roll and toss, and held on to dads
hand, and wished was dead. 1 told
him my little tummy ached, and I
wanted lemon. Dad said my little
tummy, with its three oysters in 1t,
was not worth mentioning, and told
me to look at him. Talk about your
Mount Pelee and your Vesuvius, those
volcanoes were tame and uninteresting
compared to dad, leaning over the rail-
ing, and shouting words at the sharks
in the water. Why, he just doubled up
like a jackknife one minute and then
Strengthened up like an elephant stand
ing on his hind legs in a circus the
next minute, and he kept saying:
'Ye-up," and all the passengers said:
Poor man. I told them he was no,
SO poor, for he owned q brewery al
home,
Well, we finally got back to New
Orleans, and dad took a hack to
the hotel, and told the driver not to
pass any saloon where there were oys.
ter shells on the sidewalk. We came
home next day. Well, guess I will
get my snake out of the icebox, and
| 20 home and comfort dad.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1905-01-10
Strike tn Continue

Fall River, Mass, Dec. 31.-The la
Dor unions involved since last July
in a strike against 121a per cent. reduc-
ton In wages in the cotton mills by
a vote of approximately three to one
approved continuance of the CON
test. The total vote of the unions on
the question of continuing the strike
was 1,4O1 in favor and 42c against.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1905-01-10
Future Of the Indians.

James Mooney. attached to the Smith:
senian bureau of ethnology, sees hope
less future for the Indians, among whom
he has spent the greater portion of his
life. He believes that 1t is practically
to civilize the Indian; that
having no ambition for improvement
or progress, they will continue in theil
present state, dying out in numbers til
they become simply povipg bands.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1905-01-10
AUTOMOBILES and Women.

Mr.. Grimsonbeak-Aut are a
good deal like women.
Mrs. Observation-Disclosures they are
expensive, / suppose?
mot exactly. Because they are hard
to control, and when they get cranky
you don't know what's the matter with
them. "-Yonkers Statesman.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1905-01-10
Prominent Milwaukeean Dead.

Milwaukee, Dec. BID. Il. Jones,
referee in bankruptcy, is dead at his
home here of heart disease, aged "a.
Mr.. Jones served through the civil war
in the Sixteenth Wisconsin. He was
prominent in G. A. r. circles, member
of the Loyal Legion and Of the Wiscon-
sin Shiloh monument commission and
was mason of high degree.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1905-01-10
Told the Truth.

"Darringer, have you quarter YOU
don't want?"
"Why. certainly. Here 1t u.s."
The next day;
u say. Darringer that quarter you
gave me was bad one"
Eyes, Bromley. You asked me If
had a quarter that l didn't want
Brown Book.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1905-01-10
The Bad Boys Joke with Stuffed
Rattlesnake-He Tells the Old
aroceryman About His Dads
Morbid Appetite.
BY HON. GEoRGE W. PECK.

BY HON. GEORGE w. PECK.
Ex-Governor of Wisconsin, formerly pub
Usher of "Pecks SUM- author of "Peck's
Bad Boy" etc)
Copyright, 1904, by Joseph B. Bowles.)
HE old groceryman was sitting on
the counter, with his legs stretched
lengthwise, his heels resting on sack
of flour, and his back against pile of
wrapping paper, his eyes closed, his
pipe gone out, and the ashes sitting
from it on the cat that was asleep in
his lap. The door opened and closed
with slam, and the bad boy came in
with long paper box, perforated with
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1905-01-10
Can Quit Work.

A Harvard football player. has inner
ted fortune Of s3.0Oo,0oo. He can now
afford to quit playing football and en-
Joy himself.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1905-01-10
It Demands.

She-Do you think that a woman
can truly love but once9
He-Well. II that's the only chance
cha has--yea! - Detroit T,reA Press.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1905-01-10

vigor and cheertuI-
ness soon disappear
when the kidneys are
out of order or dis
eased.
Kidney trouble has
become SO prevalent
that it is not unconl-
mon for a child to be
born afflicted with
,naaL kidneuc 1f the
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1905-01-10

child urinates too often, if the urine scalds
the flesh, or if, when the child reaches an
age when it should be able to control the
passage, it is yet afflicted with bed-wet-
ting, depend upon it, the cause of the diff
Guilty is kidney trouble, and the first
step should be towards the treatment of
these important organs. This unpleasant
trouble is due to diseased condition of
the kidneys and bladder and not to a
habit as most people suppose.
Women as we'll as men are made miser-
able with kidney and bladder trouble,
and both need the same great remedy.
The mild and the immediate effect OF
Swamp-Root is soon realized. It is sold
by druggists, in fifty 81
cent and one-dollar |H ~; ~ =
size bottles. You may ~ 4: :?Si =;
have sample bottle s:e 49,
by mail free, also a Home Of swampRoos.
pamphlet telling all about Swamp Root
including many of the thousands of testi.
monia1 letters received from sufferers
cured. In writing DIR. Kilmer & Co.,
Binghamton, N. Y, be sure and mention
this paper. Don't make any mistake
but remember the name, Swamp Root
DR.. Kilmer's Swamp-Root, and the adj
dress, Binghamton, N. Y, on every
bottle.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1905-01-10
WHEAT

With the year there promises to be some ssnsa-
Uona developments in the Wheat market. The fact
that prices been maintained long, and during
the marketing Of the crop, in opinion, 1ustes the
claim that values not too high. Conditions that
have marked the Of ths markets in the mmedi
ate past strong, and working out situation
which that It will require than two
crops large proportion to change the price to lowsr
level IT, indeed former low levels for Wheat have net
been parsed for all time European markets, seeing
their plans securing supplies from other poNnfYes
about to fall will soon he drawing On NJ and probably
on large scale the worlds shortage in bushels IL
heavy while all been Our mill
ing interest unusually hopeful good Flour bust
ness and have bought great deal Of Wheat from out
side territory. We look the shortage Of loso0oos
bushels the yield OF Wheat be felt from this
The news cannot be expected to favor lower press.
Records too show that this 10 the season Of the yeAf
for bull markets. Tho largest operataEs are buying
Wheat as they have been doing for some time past.
Everything indicates that before next GUNNER We win
see such scarcity OF Wheat that the claims Of the
most rampant bulls as possible price fluctuations
will be realized hcnce, Wheat should be bought nov
end held for very material advance.
EDWARDS-WOOD co.
unc0rporateO
DEALERS I'm
oTOCks 0RAINs PROVISIONS
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1905-01-10
TWofers.

"The more you smoke the more food
you take from your fanily.H
None Of my family like cahbaeAR
s-Ifcusscn Fest
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1905-01-10
Women as Well as Men Are Made
Miserable by Kidney and
Bladder Trouble.

Kidney trouble preys upon the mind,
discourages and 1essensa beauty,
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1905-01-10
New Form Of Amusement.

973T. New FoTm OF AmuSeHeHt.
Russian soldiers can always keep
themselves amused by guessing which
Of the forts the japanese will blow up
hsxs. .s....,.......-
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1905-06-10
Thought she Couldn't Live.

MoraYia. N. Y, June 5.-Mr. Benja.
min Wilson. a highly respected resident
OF this place. came very near losing
his wife and now that she is cured and
restored TO good health his gratitude
knows no bounds. He says:
My Wife has suffered everything
with Sugar Diabetes. She has been
sick four years. She doctored with
two good doctors but kept growing
worse. The doctors said she could
not live, She failed from 200 pounds
down to 13o pounds. This was her
weight when she began to use Dodd's
Kidney Pills. and now she weighs 1870.
is well and feeling stronger every
day.
"She used TO have rheumatism so
bad that II would raise great bumps
all over her body and this is all gone
too.
'Dodd's Kidney pills are God-send
to those who suffer as my wife did.
They are all that saved her. We can't
praise them enough"
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1905-06-10
Crystal Palaces for All.

II Germany is right-and several
cmes in the last thousands of years 1t
has been right-we shall all eventually
be living in what Boston calls crystal
edinces. and consequently must care
fully refrain from the projection OF
promiscuous geological fragments.
Glass has been found to be a cheaper
and lighter building material than
sorick Why not? It is made Of sand,
which is rather more universal and
abundant than brick clay. Suitable
sand Is found all over the United
states, and the American sand Is said
to be better for the purpose than that
found in Europe. AS a structural ma
terial, glass has the advantage over
brick, that it can be made in any de-
gree OF transparency. 1t will admit
light To see by, and yet can be so
treated that it will not reveal the pro-
ceedlngs of those who are behind 1t.
II all the fiat houses and tenement
houses OF this city were made of glass
It would at least be possible for land
lords and agents to advertise truth
fully all light rooms" And yet such
privacy as is possible in any fiat would
not be interfered with, for the struc-
tural material could be sufficiently
clouded to obstruct the direct vision.
Moreover. the adage about throwing
stones would not apply, for structural
glass Is as tough as a brick, II not
tougher. Streets at Grenoble France,
have been paved with bricks" of pure
crystal glass, and our consul at that
point declares them to be a success.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1905-06-10

ir regard to privateering?" And a
curl of seorn touched Lafitte's lips.
Tell me. | pray you. sir. how many
scores OF vessels. flying the flag of the
Urited States, are. at this moment,
Ireying upon foreign commerce?"
But only upon the commerce of
Great Britain. with whom We are at
war" declared Jackson. his grim feat
ures relaxed-but only for an instant
by a satisfied smile: -and they are
acting under regular letters of marQne
and reprisal"
True: and the vessels In which |
have been interested acted under let
ters OF marque from the Republic of
Carthagena. and sailed under the flag
of that nation. Never. since I CON
trolied them. have they interfered with
the ships OF any nation excepting
Spain. with whom. as you are aware,
the Republic OF Carthagena is at war"
Jackson was silent. and glanced
scowlingly at Claiborne. who was tap
ping the tabled abstractedly, and ap-
peared absorbed by his own refec-
tions.
Il thank you. general" Lafitte
resumed. speaking with less en-
phasis. for the opportunity you have
give me to explain these matters.
And, without going into them any far
ther. I wish to assure you once more
that my former offer was made from
legitimate and patriotic motives"
Jackson bowed, as II In acquies-
cence.
But" demanded Lafitte. a sudden
rush of Indignation sounding in his
voice. how was it received? My mo-
tives were impugned-my statements
branded As false; my messengers were
imprisoned. And. as q fitting sequence
to this. an armed expedition was sent
tc Barataria: my men were butchered.
or taken prisoners; my vessels seized,
and my property destroyed. In addi-
ton to this. and harder than all else.
my foster-brother, after being NOR
tally wounded, was brought to New
Orleans. thrown into the common gaol.
and left there. to die"
Lafitte had been standing all this
time. But now, as he finished speak
ing. he seated himself and folded his
arms, while his face took an express
sion Of stoical Indifference contrasting
sharply with the impassione.i words
that had Just poured from his lips.
Jackson ard Ciaiborn. looked at one
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1905-06-10

/ Bile toward Gen Jackson, who Was still
staring at him, as IL in wonder at his
youth and appearance.
Il ask. general he said. that You.
and you, also. Gov. Claiborne, will ac-
cord me the honor to read the original
documents ! received some time ago
from your enemies. and in respect TO
which | understand my statement was
condemned as false
BE seated. Capt Lahite," said Gov.
Claiborne. with rather reluctant court
esy.
The former bowed slightly in recog-
nition of the invitation. but remained
standing as he continued. with IN
creased emphasis. The statements |
made were true. and my former offer
was submitted In perfect good faith.
Inspired by earnest desire to fulfl my
duty to the country in which | have
made my home, and whose laws
have never been found guilty of trans
crossing. All | asked In return was
that the names OF myself and follow
ers should be freed from the ohloquy
which has unjustly become attached
to them"
Iafitte's words and manner we're full
of stern dignity. and Claiborne made
reither reply nor comment Jackson.
however, accepted the implied chal-
lenge.
Have you never been accused of
smuggling. and slave-trading. Capt.
LATTE, and Of being a privateer?" he
asked. In a tone of dry sarcasm.
Accused, yes; but never convict
ed" was the quick reply. Il was
cnee. as Gov. Claiborne will tell you.
Indicted; but | was tried before an
impartial judge. and acquitted by a
Jury composed of the foremost citi-
sens of the state
Jaeksons face expressed surprise.
rnd he glanced inquiringly at Clai-
borne. who nodded. as II in affirmation
OF the statement. Then the former.
again turning his stern eyes upon La
ftte. asked. How is il with you in re-
gard to privateering?"
Let me ask how It Is with you. Gen.
jackson. and with your own country
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1905-06-10
Troublesome Children.

Everything is relative, after all,
even age: yet one might suspect that
the children" OF one of Mr. Muzzey's
Men Of the Revolution" might havo
arrived at years of some discretion
and proper regard for behavior.
When | saw the old soldier, says Mr..
Nuzzey, he was the sole survivor Of
those who witnessed the battle Of
Bunker Hill. At the age OF 95 years
he was attending a whig celebration
held at Boston in 1850. and there I
met him. He was a ood-looking old
man. with a large. well-shaped head,
blue eyes and mild expression. His
whole countenance beamed with ben
evidence.
asked him II he had any children.
"Oh. yes. have two sons" he re-
Piled.
why did you not bring them with
you"
The old mans smooth brow wyia-
kled into a semblance Of . frown as
he said:
Il didn't want to be plagued With
those boys on an occasion Of this
sort"
why, how old are they" I asked
wondering II he could mean his grand
children.
"Oh. one is 10 and the other Is 72.
But I couldn't be bothered with
them."-Youth's Companion.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1905-06-10
CHAPTER XVII.

# Early In December. 1914, Gen. Jack
DE arrived at New Orleans.
s8 Lafitte had. some time before this,
81 Shell Island. seen a copy OF the
PROCLAMATION Issued by jackson while
yet at Mobile. after the general had
teceived from Coy. Claiborne a full
1fatement of the proposition made to
Gafitte by the English. together with
Ne Barbarian leaders offer of sery-
Ne on behalf of himself and his fol-
DIVERS.
ihg toward the middle of December,
jackson and Gov Claiborne were seat
~ in the library of the latter's resi-
Hfnee. engaged in an earnest discus
Dn Of some OF the many perplexing
2pestions with which they were CON
Bonted.
8 We are too weak. by far. tell YOU
claiborne" Gen jackson was saying
With irascible emphasis. "and without
u ything like a sufficient strength to
neet what is now al our very doors
I feel-to be frank with you-some
1pubt of our ability 10 sustain the
81 esent enthusiasm OF these people
Nho were talking so lately OF capitu-
kting TO damned Britishers"
"Capitulating," echoed the governor,
Surely. general at this late day. and
= the face of the pledges they have
nade. neither the legislature nor the
eitizens would return to any such
Nea'
al am not so sure of that, II they
were forced. as are you and /. TO real
ige that the enemy outnumbers us ten
oS more 10 one" growied Jackson.
Before the eoyernor-whose back
vas to the door-could reply 10 this
outhurst. he became aware that
tkird person had entered the room:
and he glanced over his shoulder to
zee who it might be. while his face
ohowed the irritation he felt at any
one presuming to interrupt him a,
uoch a time.
Bur his expression changed 10 one of
MIR gled anger and CONSERVATION: and
jacksou. who had been sternly re
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1905-06-10

1gting the intruder. started to his
-
xfter bowing respectfully. the new
uner stood silent. while his black
- searched with curious intentness
- stern face OF Gen. Jackson. whose
InAt hand had stolen into the breast
Ms coat.
nc governor. who had risen when
= saw the key turned in the door,
- made a step or two toward the
Iii where lay his sword; but the
niger. picking up the weapon be-
- Claiborne could reach II. present
to the latter with a graceful bow :.
Sled with a courteous Permit me.
en-. turning quickly to Jackson,
kdded. extending both arms to their
length, either side of him, Sure
, ZEN. Jackson will not fire upon an
med mani" And he advanced to
W liable.
~. Claiborne's face had Redeemed
lly as he took his sword from the
krer's hands and replaced II on the
i; and Jackson's expression
eed somewhat, as. with "Assur-
not, SIR" he withdrew his hand
the pistol
beg, gentlemen. that you will par
nv intrusion" said the unknown
until you shall hear the OBJ
= my mission. And I pray you
<lieye that / come here for no
reason than a desire to be of
you, and to the country both
serve"
" we know your name. sir?"
"a Claiborne. stifny. and with 4
illness Of manner in which there
10 sign OF softening.
I'M the man whom your excellen-
. been pleased to proclaim an
and for whose capture you
ofered a reward Of five hundred
d; the man"-now fixing his
* eyes upon Jackson's face
j, with his followers. you. sir.
branded as 'hellish banditti.' and
pirates of Barataria.' am
.afitte."
are . bold man, Capt. Laftte,
lture into New Orleans. to say
Sg Of presenting yourself here"
he governors upcnuciliatory re-
~ lite bowed. as II acknowledging a
lment, and drawing q package
bis breast. held 1t across the ta-
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1905-06-10
White Del IeHelrx.

White Jet is the jeweiry novelty Of
1905 in Europe. It is like ivory, hut
sparkles. and when 1t has been caro-
fully cut the effect is said to be dfs.
cling Old jet. both black and white.
is being unearthed and reset. Queen
Victoria had q magnificent collection.
which Princess Victoria Of SchJea
wig.i1olstein inherited.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1905-06-10

Every housekeeper should xnov
that II they will buy Defiance Cold
Water Starch for laundry use they
will save not only time. because It
never sticks to the iron. but because
each package contains 16 oz.-one full
pound-while all other Cold Water
Starches are put up in N-pound pack
ages. and the price Is the same. 10
cents. Then again because Defiance
Starch II free from all injurious chem
icals. II your grocer tries to sell you
. l2-oz. package 1t Is because he has
q stock ON hand which he wishes to
dispose Of before he puts In Defiance.
He knows that Defiance Starch has
printed on every package In large let
ters and figures "16 ozs." Demand Do
f,ance and save much time and money
and the annoyance Of the iron stick
ing Defiance never sticks.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1905-06-10

ITS curious" said Uncle Eben. ito
hear tell bout how many geniuses has
been allowed to starye. an how many
lazy folks manages TO git liyin' BY
pretendin' TO be geniuses."
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1905-06-10
TEA

1t Is a most mild delight;
but it is a delight-good
tea, fine tea.