The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1905-01-01
Il OF all the critters on earth that q ave =
this Old eodger, tho two that 5btlr s TIE ft
most terror his craven, wlite-live i'a

or ali the critters OF, earth that ane.
this old codger, tho two that bfn tf fss
most terror to- his craven " iite-livered ed
soul nre The ''cultlvntcd nis W 1' n y
the Gel tied beau ty. y q 3i3 III
to- the latter, / shalt keep MUM, tor
were I Is witt j III line Oh tifle subject,
every wornat In Virginia would think
that HIS Idle Ind reference to !, Ell Ind
would rear US and get lioppiii' mat .9s8ts M
| lEi But there Sare hundreds who, DIkef m ~
self, have q beon ihtimidnted y 70 nbso.
I1nte idooy$ 3 BY II cnltiv nted 11tsciaEInss,'
ard who. stotthis day, don't know What
toRdo whenBthis dreaded class OF nlortallss y
jappenrs no this cheerful species OF Iin1-
Beetles ~ dress these brief, but eloquent
lrelnhrks iS,, An gS I
thousands ~ Sus crude 3barbnriahs reilly
|Elove "A music # lii ~ Our peculiar n.y. up-the-f
creek Wly 81 rather It would be bette
TO say that We love the noise We call
music i toHches soineth,, way dow1l5
lin us "a nd makes us feel good. ~ Al
1'ru 9, we don u l1l ow what chin
5us or where we IRE being touched, a butt
|8nll the same the very sound makes us
grow frs1sy $ One 1nintite we get gu y&anld9
coltisil and sassy and dom Eive-n -darn1sh
land THE next minute there creeps over
us IA Ind Il of chillsaiid- fever sndi,ess
which, instead 4 OF ntakih'8us miserable
srrodu ces n leasnnt sonsa ton much akin
l>eadin one of soltS own love letters writ
ten years ago to some fair1party & now
| the s,iiiderserVed wife az mother. III 8$S H &
@CrGmayb be 3it5 isE al brass band which gives
l!us the h psy choloEicnl Sh gnbillicum n tlips
and Sc is o,irs blood a-tingl'n@ TN and down
our ackbone and galavantn crossWiset
I;througlStie 3lattice-Nke curvatures Of our
ribs. When the human alllr,T-bag lie s. ,t
steam Il into \ the big horn or the m usical Y
HERCULES tries to thulnp daylight t. through
| 5tha abdomen ~ his colossal ia rum, there
arises H thin Us % sort OF door Fe deter
Elimination, which makes us tep high and
10 Ill sorts of$ gaits. And 4 the bard \
plays s ri EEL VI sake alive We swell 3
out like Y, 1ooui err pigeon and Eett tin
chest SSf ike N sba loon wonder. how Ill
| the name OF goodness the. Yankees ever
whipped Sls 5nmd & g enera Lee.
@ Or maybe It's 81 just an old e time fiddle
we hear wi tn IL llleaslS bow a. era pin e
on the unmentionable$ internal equipment,
Of a. defunctS 4 cat \, and Z o @ricket al te-s
bollun1 cullud gempnlun $yellin '3i' balance.
al'i and turn 70 .pardnor' or ''chas q
seq fora rd But my the way the, sound
|ssauirtss ginger Into us III and 3S makes us
|sswitch$ our coattails. Even while we are;
|la-Wigglin' zour feet and side-stepplr' like
a prize la ckneYS at a horse show,
know i hat I'VE are vulgar, and tina tSSif we
|4had a8 81 park \ 8 d ecency i iii our boson1s
we'd call Sthe soul -insplrinS$ fount3sof anlu-
sic sa violin lwith$nn accent on the dalln'')l
but I'M our ex llaraton, We don t g gts
|tcontinent til plain old 81 dle to lis, q
md the sound u makes to gottr ca rs Is
what $apple- jack aid eggnogE ire TO our;
ollr-er- ala tessSsss 4i .i5 ss{ l;;g
Ell may be It }ds,i'' t anything q all Ne
have but d, loWd own four ollars banjo al
|Gplink4a- plunkinnf q 6 d ;winter's eve 49, III
some rarnshackl q Cabin, where#t he mir 8isS
l5heavy willlfthes conlmingled odors OF the
|gblln'& coffee pot 8Rand tile fsputt erins kero-
sene lamp. hys lor,5 sil IS n1usiti
aid an' ohos argpt,l that tls y. But
somehow We 81 Oh TIE : outside tho
face cliappirf9 colds and listen and crane
our necksf land get}tor drea,nin and hun
germ, for he flonf and IS taryitl Il for
1.-the dead-and gone ones And 81 then. XII be-S
fore oulaoptical canals have burst through
1.-The sluices OF our ashes, we find our
sci yes a swift liz Il from Longfnce sta
ttlonsand -ehucklin' and fya-g CUR glln and
a-giglin and IA hSsterickin' 4 Ike folks ftissr
has sucked In laughtn' gas or Is bein.
Stickled$ on tile bail OF their foot Will a
ibrooons traw.8 But 8 t; ain't mus call this
{plink-n-pluclin and Chopin (polite " pr t,-s
Snounced Show-pa,D wouldn't have #Es TODD
for 1t ten seconds. Ss$iS}B aB3s2 81
Or ii, as be It's billed shirt night, when
eyes! (; look love & q & eyes hat dream Of
money spentSln sl.50S theatre tickets, and 4
you are n-sittin'{ starchsl up in the play
house pit, with q perfumed 4 fluffy haired
thing, ,smelin' ofShelotrope ex rae t and
new dry goods, tin '$withinEa kiss
throw{o you. III
is N sd Jest about; the time You beginsto
find harmony In thu buzz Of cheerful
voices, a foreign ent,@With q. hal Sgrown
fiddle, called in cultured circles "a icelloS
and pronounced n .cheller,' creeps out 4
from a. hole underHth,es stage and beglns8
toRp!ck cautiousl II and tentatively at the
cut lntestires of5hisa instrument. Byi5and
by another foreign gent sticks his nose
out the same hole. like q. ground hog
pcerin' out OF. hsSburrow und or a sealy-S
bark tree, and on being assured that no
bodySwill hurt him, he, 90. conIas for
ward with an Infant I'D die and q ikeWise
picks cautiously and tentatively at & his
Violin. Then Il q third musicinner-orE
rather big drum propelled BY q r r,
cianel'7-sq uee zcs through he same hole
ana SO on 1t goes until you have II whole
orchestra almost right unde your very
nose. And after Ia fussy little man has
oh :, go M OH. and made