Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1905-05-26
1t, and dad had been drinking absinthe

it. and dad had been drinking absinthe
and he thought the badge was a kind
of sign of nobility. Well. you'd abide
TO see the bunch of women that were
there to meet dad. whats the matter
here?" said dad, as he saw the crowd
Of women. looking like they we're
there in answer to an advertisement
for nurses. told dad to stand up in
the carriage, like Dowie does in Chi
cago. and hold out his hands and say:
BLESS you, my children" and when
dad got up to bless them, the reporter
and | got out of the carriage. and the
reporter, which could talk French, said
for all the women who wanted to be
Mormon wives to get into the carriage
with the bishop and be sealed for life.
Well, sir, you'd a thought 1t was a
remnant sale! More than a dozen got
into the carriage with dad, and about
400 couldn't get in. but when the scared
driver started up the horses, they all
followed the carriage, and her the
mounted police surrounded the whole
bunch and moved them off towards the
police station, and dad under the wag-
on load of females, each n trying to
get the nearest to him, so as to be his
favorite wife.
1t got noised around that a foreign
%potent-ate mad been arrested with his
whole harem for conduct u%nbecoming
to a potent-ate, and SO when we got
to the Jail dad had to be rescued from
his wives. and they were driven into a
side street by the police, and dad was
locked up to save his life. The re-
porter and | went to the Jail to get
him out, but we had to buy a new suit
of clothes for him, as everything was
torn off him in the Mormon rush. Dad
was a sight when we found him in
Jail. and ne thought his bones were
broken, and he wanted to know what
was the cause of his sudden popularity
with the fair seX. and | told him it all
came from his looking SO confounGed
distinguished and his flirting with
women. He said he would swear he
looked at one of those women in
a tone of voice that would deceive a
Sunday school teacher. and he felt as
though he was being misunderstood in
France. We told him the only way to
get out of Jail was to say he was a
crowned head from Oshkosh, travelling
incOg. and when he began to stand on
his dignity and demand that a mes
senger be sent for the president of
France, to apologize for the treatment
he had received, the jailer and police
begged his pardon and we dressed him
up in his new clothes and got him out,
and we went to the Eiffel tower to get
some fresh air.
l suppose you have see pictures Of
the Eiffel tower, on the advertisements
of breakfast food in your grocery, but
You al form no idea of the height and
magnifcence of the tower by studying
advertisements. You may think that
the pictures you see of world events on
your n of baked beans and maple
syrup and soap, give you the benefit of
foreign travel, but it does not. You
have got to see the real thing or you
are not fit to even talk about what you
think you haveseen. Yourememberthat
Ferris wheel at the Chicago worlds
falr, n how we thought 1t was the
greatest thing ever made of steel, so
high that it made us dizzy to look to
the top of it, and when we went up on
the wheel we thought we could see the
world, from Alaska to South Africa.
and we marveled at the work of man
and prayed that we be permitted to get
down off that wheel alive, and not be
spilled down through the rarifed Chi
cago atmosphere and flattened on the
pavement so thin we would have to be
scraped up off the pavement with a
case knife, like a ~buckwheat cake that
sticks to the griddle.
You remember, old man, how you
cried when our sentence to ride in the
Ferris wheel expired, and the jailer OF
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