The Topeka state journal., 1905-05-19
HuaGoR oR THE DAY.

Chicago News.
HUdoR OF THE DAY.
Hewitt-Afy fortune is made. old man;
have had story published.
Jewett-You don't expect to make your
fortune out of one story, do you?
Hewitt-Wen. yes, indirectly; am
authors or start a school of Journalism
or any other old thing in that 1Ane.-Wo-
mans Home Companion.
she-Mamma, you know. is quite judge
HelJndgei Cad Sometimes she's more
like prosecuting attorney.-Puck.
I'm father Of a bouncing boy,
Aye, truly bouncing, quite
The right expression to employ
He's uU and down all night.
Philadelphia Press.
There was . time when you bought my
poems and paid a good price for theTnsa
hair. Why DO you decline to purchase
i've quit drinking" explained the lit
erary editor-Columbus Dispatch.
"A man is known by the company he
keeps remarked the man who is fond Of
..Or BY the company he promotes add
ed the citizen who had been promoted a.
couple of times.-Louisville Courier-JouT-
nal.
This was my stool when was a teeney
sJove! then it must be worth something.
Antique furniture is all the rage just
now.'-Ally sloper's Half-Holday.
Mother-Iow did you come to be teasing
that little Jones girl? Her mother was
just complaining to me about it.
Willie Hardcase-WeI, she wanted some
body to tease her. I wanted to tease some
body, and we were both accommodating
That's all.-BaItimore American.
THAT man. said the proud father,
w went ae into n politics q poor man and came
We'll" answered Senator Sorghum
'.au can say is that there must have
been contributory negligence on his part
Washington Star.
She was very tender hearted
And when sewing she would cry,
Because she could not bear to stick
Thread in the needles eye
Sour Faced Dame-I wish to look at
Courteous cIerk-Yes, rna'am; now here
IS very pretty piece in a wine color
chairwonaan Of the ". & 7. U .. Show 9on5s me-
something in watered siIks!-Cleveland
Leader.
squealer-I brought that clock back
Dealer-What's the matter-doesn't it
sdneaierI guess it does-it never tells
Old Hunks (sitting for his Photograph
Well, amt you ready? What are you
Photographer-A little pleasanter express
Mrs. Hunks (who is standing at one
side)-He's got his pleasantest expression
on, Mr.. Smith. I guess you didn't notice
how he looked when he came in.-Chicago
Tribune.
Mrs. Yeast-You say your husband al
ways brings. you novel when he comes
Mrs Crimsonbeak-No. I didn't. I said
he brought home a lot of fiction; that's
what said.-Yonkers Statesman.
~And now, johnny said the Sunday
school teacher, is there anything you do
not understand about Eve and the SER
pe.nrtt?". mt
.'How;,d Eve keep from having. a #
bune.
Our chauffeur is such careful man"
I'm glad to hear you say that"
Yes. The last time we were out he
ran over two dogs and a huelxster with
out getting q single thing out Of repair
Chicago Record-Herald.
Who says that the world is not progress
i've? A generation ago the girls, when
they got provoked, used to say: "Oh,
sugari'' Now they say: "Oh, fudgei"-
Somerville Journal
Have you. decided where yOu'n spend
the summer2''
got their choice OF. resorts narrowed down
to seventeen. Chicago Tribune.
suppose Secretary TAFT would much
rather run for president in 1908 than in
s7vven, why?"
because it would be a reduction Of
wait.''-CIeveland Leader.
It came in today said the fair shopper.
ito see those handsome sideboards OF
Not Not me. LADY, replied the new furni-
ture salesman Il amt never wore any
thing but mustache.' hiladelphia
Press.
Ajax had dehed the lightning.
s.But I'm not shaking my fist at all cree
ations he said. 81 may be a. good deal
of a four f1usher. but am not a Castro"
| Counting the seconds that elapsed be-
tween the next fash and the thunder that
| folIovyed. he ascertained that the lightning
was; four miles away. and his scorn and
/ defiance became superb-Chicago Tribune.
Miss Reader-In your book, Mr. skribe,
you use the phrase, psychological mo-
ment" half dozen times. It's such a
lovely phrase! But I must confess I do
not know what 1t means. Do tell me.
Mr.. Skribe-I haven't the least idea, Miss
rage in the literary world just now.-Bos-
ton Transcript
snarticus-O, I'm feeling all right. ex-
cept for my color scheme-it doesn't har-
monize this morning.
Spartaeus-Your color scheme? What do
you nean2
smartieus-Why. the brown of the taste
in my mouth doesn't correspond to the
blue of my feelings Baltimore American
Il declare said the drummer in this
Kentucky town on court day, you have
all kinds Of vehicles around here.
Iy. Every kind but water wagons
Chicago News.
81 Cribcorn-Is your Bill goin' into ath-
erletics up to college, like thrOwin the
hammer or putin the shot2
J. Fencefots-Waaf, I hearn him tellin'
Pete as how he'd been hittin' the pipe puIs
ty onsid-able.-Harvard Lampoon.