Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1905-09-23

Jimmy Hyde might like to point
out that giving SO. 900 dinners is a
mild form of misconduct compared
with what some life insurance Of
fcials have done.
A New York man who has been
in prison for thirty four years,
wants a pardon. Can it be that he
is anxious to get out in time to run
for the senate?
Champ Clark insists that the south
furnishes the brains and decency
of the Democratic party. It will
be all right SO long as he comedies
to Nebraska the credit for furnish
ing the ''lung power" of the party.
''The Republican party is a bad
old party of hardened sinners
says editor Waterson, by way of as
sorting that the republicans are no
better in his Judgment than Bryan
OF Cleveland democrats.
It is said that there is shortage
of chorus girls but there is noshort-
age of charming young persons who
think" they are chorus girls.
A Cleveland man, when dying,
left instructions for his ashes to be
thrown over Niagara Falls. It is a
good deal safer to send your ashes
over than do that stunt while you
are living.
BE pre-eminent in conspicuity"
says Senator Beveridge of Indiana,
to young man. But ''conspicuity"
is as common as carrots in Indiana.
There are still several small places
at which awful things can happen.
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES and Boberij tzoslaw
are not yet heard from.
George Gould says the future
looks very bright to him. The
future would look bright to most
any man if he had Mr. Gould's pos
sessions and prospects.
One of the proofs that there is no
reef trust" is that the butcher
makes his customers pay cash.
If Bishop Potter's Sunday school
saloon manager had taken the N.
Y. publics taste into account and
stocked up with wood alcohol'' and
fusel oil, the result might have
been surplus instead of Ii, 900 loss.
Although Luther Burbank has a
record of successes, he has not yet
tried to graft a street railway
plant on first-class city.
If you send Tom Lawson few
million dollars and he loses it the
fault will be the SYSTEMS not Toms.
If Mr.. Rockefeller goes to as
sociating with the humorists, he
will learn in just a few minutes,
many ways of getting rid Of his
money.
A Seminole Indian was fined $50
for horse stealing in Indian Ter
ritory. This is a moderate punish
ment, but those land-grabbers who
stole whole counties are still at
large.
Nebraska is now peaceful and
happy. Frost has removed the
danger of yellow fever, and Bryan
will let the state rest for couple of
years.
Japan should cheer up. It may
learn to like peace after a little
practice.
Results" Of Secretary Taft's able
efforts to put the lid on the Chinese
boycott, have yet to be disclosed.
Russia need not disband any
troops just yet. Evidently it is 60
ing to have use for lot of them in
the Caucasus.
Atlanta's mayor admits that he
had some beer in him." This may
be said to be the "beer that made
Atlanta famous"
Men are not good judges of
millinery, or they would know that
the feature of allurlng beauty in a
$3.50 hat IS the price tag.
If Japan wishes to cement the
new friendship, Russia might bor-
row a few japanese regiments to
help put down the revolving
Tartars.
If there were Napoleon or a
Caesar in the japanese army,
Mikado might we'll tremble for the
security of his crown.
A more systematic way to dis
cover the Mize murderer in Chi
cago, would be to arrest the citizens
of Hyde Park a block at time, in
stead of in haphazzard fashion.