Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1905-10-07
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AS Secretary OF war in the aumlhiSti@
ton of President Mckinley and In part
of that of President Roosevelt Mr.. Eiihu
Root had brilliant record; in fact, his
friends insist that he was by far the abiast
Secretary the War Department has known
since the days OF Stanton. But Jove mods
and genius has its iapses. and even Sec
retary Root made a mistake which he now
frankly confesses.
The War Department was crowded UNI
endurably during the year 1900; desks were
crowded so that the clerks could scarcely
reach their seats, and every day the rules
Of health were violated in the cubic space
Of free air afforded the unfortunate en-
ployes. Additional room must be had. and
Secretary Root, looking to the north and
east in vain. cast his eye upon the peace
full preserves of the State Department TO
the south. He saw room he wanted. and
during the temporary absence of Score
tary Hay he secured the Presidents ap-
prevail to enact a piracy and seized that
room for the War Department
That Is why Secretary Root, now Secre-
tary of State and not Secretary of War. Is
sorry, and that fs why he Is free to admit
that he made a mistake. The State De-
partment also is now verw much over
crowded. and Secretary Root wants that
room badly, but he don't know how to get
1t without stultifying himself.
Y + y
Talk about your 1ead-pipe cinches'
and your sure things" said Washing
ton citizen. II think the limit has been
reached in the slot machine line. 1 went
Ip against one of these weighing ma
hines, where you register on dial what
you think will be your weight, drop in
penny. and If you have guessed your
weight correctly get the penny back
We'll / knew my weight was III, so L
set the gauge at III and put in my penny.
The machine registered it as IT'S. l lose.
Then I set the guessing gauge at 175-just
what the machine said l weighed-and
dropped in another penny. lost again. for
that time the register showed lib That
machine is surely money maker
X
The friends of Senator Elkins tell a story
which they declare illustrates the opposi-
ton to the senator in his state on account
of his attitude on the tax question which
was made the chief issue of the last polit-
ical campaign in that state.
The Watson House Is of the we'll
known hostelries of the state. On one oc-
casion there came to the hotel farmer
who proposed to the proprietor the sale OF
a carload of frogs.
"A carload of frogslp exclaimed the pro-
prietor What in the world would l do
with carload of frogs?"
The man said they were good to eat and
he had carload he could deliver at any
time. Finally the proprietor agreed to take
a bushel of the delicacies, and the farmer
went away to fill the requisition.
A couple of days later the man returned
with a small bundle wrapped up In ms
handkerchief. He went to the counter and
united the corners of the handkerchief
There were three pairs of frogs legs.
81 thought you told me you had car
load of frogs to sell ?'' said the proprietor:
We'll" replied the farmer, hesitating, If
you'd heard them'-fross you'd a thought
there was a carload of them, too.
The friends of the West Virginia senator
declare that story illustrates the condition
in the state SO far as opposition to Mr.. Ell
kins is concerned. They say his opponents
make a lot of noise, but when the time
comes to count them they fall very far
short of the indications.
II have made wild dash about the north
ern section of the country during August
and September in an effort TO outmaneuver
my annual attack of hay fever, and had a
number of interesting experiences" re-
marked local newspaper man who has
just returned to this city, 80
when my eyes began to run and I took
to sneezne q couple of months ago I grew
desperate" the scribe went on to say
With the determination to get away from
this climate IN short order 1 packed my
buds and FASTENED Off thinking the change
Of air at the very start might ward on at
least the worst, Fart, of, the threatened at
tack But my journey awaited me nought
The further IatraVeled the tighter was the
grasp the fever took on me.
I'm the very height of nay distress l had
to laugh Way out in Minnesota, while on
a train, ! found it necessary to devote al
most my entire time TO wiping my eyes ana
blowing nv nose In the seat opposite Inc
sat an old farmer who was very sympa-
thetie Evidently feeling that he ought to
say something comforting, he leaned over
and softly inquired:
ty,ay foil ySyhn
are dead"
MY laughter that followed certainly
startled him. Then l had to explain the
cause of my supposed sorrow"
X x Z X
About . o'clockaone Sunday morning re-
Gently a colored man whose tired condition
was brought about by the use of alcoholic
stimulants stood on a street corner not far
from Pennsylvania avenue and steadied
himself against Iamppost.
HAS this post got a sign on it?' the
weary man asked belated pedestrian.
Certainly it has" the latter replied.
What does 1t say?" the colored man
wanted to know.
Seventh and d Streets"
AND how far is it to Florida avenue?'
Not more than two miles, he was told.
That's a long walk so early in the
morning." the tired man said land don't
know whether to walk home get ar
rested. If | get arrested 1 viii be taken
In the wagon and won't have to walk"
Just then a bluecoat came along and in
quired the cause of the discussion Upon
being told that the colored man was de-
batting the question OF walking or getting
a free ride he declared that he would get
no ride that morning. The man was ad-
vised 10 walk home, and told that he
might get six months on the farm If he
did not.
Then" said the colored man, suddenly
recovering from the effects of the liquor in
which he had INDUCED, Il guess III walk
and make no more stops"
That IS 4 common occurrence said the
officer. Men who have no responsibility,
and only think of getting along easy, are
satisfied 10 so to prison for a few days
rather than be subjected 10 little incon-
venience."
%* i x X
The man who originally proposed 10 bottle
sunshine has again been heard from He is
said 20 be in San Francisco endeavoring to
interest several capitalists in his scheme
A QUESTION
From Punch