The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1905-11-15
UNCLE EPHUM'S WILL.

BY w. E. WHlTMORE.

To,v thumb and sent the peas
ratilmg into pan between his knees;
then he took his pipe from his mouth
and yawned broadly
SLOW job. this sheiin' peas. amt it?"
Yes" said |. Il often wonder that
no one has invented way Of shelling
them 10y machinery
Iuyention" he snorted. Don't ever
say invention 10 me again wish
every feller that ever invented any
thing was hung"
was much surprised and asked him
to explain. After some coaxing Mr.
Owens complied with my wish. and be-
gan:
Yer never seed Maria's lmy wife'sJ
Uncle Ephum did yer: No? Well.
the Old man was queer un, tell yer.
Richern the Steel Trust, he was; had
thirty acres er 'op gardens and a fish
wier and quarter interest in mack.
ere boat. beside, a lot Of cash in the
bank. Maria and her first cousin. sid.
die was the only near relations he had
afte, ais wife, Ant Oindy that was.
died
Wen, Siddie and her Old man and
Maria and me fsgered considerable on
the Old mans money aud who was
agoin' 10 get it when the old man
pegged out. Sdde and her tribe
wasn't on Spealsiu terms with NE and
Mara. OWN 70 o ieetle squabble we
had over dog he owned that bit my
hrindls heifer and scarf her so she
run onto the railroad track and got
made into hash by the up train. There
was G lawsuit and one thing er an.
other tel add ter the general good
fee,n besides
So me and Maria guessed that none
of the money was goiu' to Siddie. and
Siddie said the same thing about US
Uncle Eph was kinder impartial, as
Yer might say one spell he'd be for
Ms and have his wilt fixed up so as We
could get eyerythin'. aud the next thing
yer Know he would twist around and
leave L ali to tother side of the fence
Fust off lie came and lived with US.
and ne was trial and no mistake,
cross grained and iussy and deef-
why. he was so deef that cannon
might have gone of by his ear and all
ned say would be: What? Why don't
sou ,peak louder
Men Mario put up with it as best
We could and never gave him any back
answer and did our best to please him,
known quite We'll jhat the meek in
herit The earth
b1 cvapIntt, 90 ~ 4
fu 'ussy about his ealin and one time
he TOOK notion for. eooseberry pie
Nothin would do bur he must have
eooseberry PIE. 50 Marie she cooked
BIC one and he eJ most the whole of
it and was awful sick. and swore we
ried 70 poison him. lie lad his will
changed. leaving everything 10 Siddie,
ana went off and lived with her and
hef old man for most year
Ne was puuy down in the mouth.
but eyerythin' comes to them who
waits. Int blmeby he had row with
Siddie hat beat the one he had with
As All 10 pieces Yer see S!ddies old
mat is an inventor. Up to that time
noth.L lie had invented was worth a
cent but he Kept aJ it Just the same.
persistent as hen thar wants to set
Wei Uncle EpL took notions over
there. same as Le had done with us
and il came about tha. be thought the
flies We're pesteriu him at night arter
led gone ter bed Seems as twas Oc.
tobel: guess tAe flies was mainly
imagination, but be said there was mil
Hons o. em round him every night.
and nat he couldn't get q wink Of
seep
- SidGie's OH nan went to work
ana invented machine for driving
away tae hie.. H. argued that II you
We're oampln Cut 0r h;hin'. or any
tlns where tLere was lots Of flies,
that they'd Bit Ike eyerythin' when It
was calm, but % breeze came up
they would ali 20 OF SO be rlgged up
q cou.rivance 10 hang over Uncle
Lpl pilier and could be raised or low.
cred and pulled up by string to start
ii scin' There was a windmill on the
root that was connected with it aud
eive It ;he power
We'll the very hrs night Unc.e Eph
triea - ae laid down. lowered II close
70 lis face and hauled the rope tEat set
set Aer JH2ziu ana went to sleep.
M.dd VI Tie nishi lie wake, up and
heard noise end thought twas
thieTes cone % torture him for his
money So lie sets an IN bed and
whack one OF the arms OF that re
nymiii caught hin right on the ear.
He thought twas burglars sure. then.
and boilers "Nlgrder7 and Help
nuh 70 wake the dead An every time
pe ~ az that dymill would knock him
down again He was purity nigh used
up when slddie aud the old man got to
him
80 be was more down on Siddie than
fen thousand OF urlcks. and made his
viii over again. leavln' everythln' TO
Maria and af. and back he come TO
I've With us. THIS time We thought we
had lin for keeps cause he was so
dead set asin siddle and her tribe
that the best name he could get for
them was "murdererS." and il you
mentioned inventions he would rave
for L0urs at time
Wei be cones along and staid at
orr house. a couple OF years went by
and he was stu with US. Maria and
me begun to put down list OF things
ne WAS soin' TO buy when the property