The Topeka state journal., 1905-11-09

ter arrange matters SO that Il yoi1 are
held by the government again you will
have some one 70 whom message
(Copyright, 1905, by E. c. Parcells-)
/ HUM0R OF TIE DAY
.eFve lust had to borrow $50 from the
bank"
went easlt broke tipping walters on my
summer vacation. Detroit Free Press
Bacon-Any fishing up in the country
where YOU were this summer
Egbert-Wen. I should say 50! Why. 1
never saw such big fish in my hfel
Bacon--No. guess you didn t--2 onA1eTs
Statesman.
He has a bad habit of calling every
'sYes; he's a New Yorker, you know
wei. New Workers. idea OF a dub
is anyone who doesn't live in New York
Catholic Standard
The young mother gazed upon her first
born and wept convulsiveIy. They appeal
ed to her to know why her great grief
"Alas! she walled, as with lntelsese es-
ony, Tn afraid he will wear side wfls-
kers when he grows up."-Browning
Magazine.
.I hear that there is a rumor going
about that ne are engaged, Miss john
Indeed. Mr.. Jones. What an insult to
mel You contradicted it at once, Of
courser"
'.Oh, yes, rather said was fool
enough for almost anything. but-.'-Il-
Illustrated Bits.
'I been thinkin' bout gettin' married. -
said a member of his flock to Brother
Williams. you reckon could git a mar
Il reckon you could replied Brother
Williams. But my wholesome advice ter
you is ter eat de watermelons. Atlanta
Constitution.
Tammanyite- That's a fine mess Of cor
ruption they have unearthed in your
Philadelphia Machine Man deeply NOR
tihed)-I admit it. You fellows can hide
your shells numbering sight better than
we can.-Chicago Tribune
Senator" asked the sweet girl. s'do you
believe there can be any such thing as
my dear young woman. graft is a thing
that I never talk about when I am trying
to avail myself of the benefits OF physical
and mental relaxation. make It a rule to
try to leave my business at the office. -
Record Herald.
The moment the nurse turned her back
the rich baby ran over and kissed the
poor baby frantically.
IT'S such a relief to get hold Of some
Dody VINO isn't sterllized, he exclaimed,
in baby talk, for he spoke no English.
IT understand. old man. re5oined the
poor baby, ndulgently.-Brooklyn Life.
The three Fates had just met in CON
claye. Y es, they proudly boasted, I'VE
are the original sewing circle
Declaring bit of gossip was too killing
for anything, Atropos cut off q thread
New York Sun.
Another thing, colonel. said the inter-
viewer, I'D like to have you tell our
readers how you get your start in life
Fell down stairs at the age Of six
months replied the coIonei-CleyeIand
Plain Dealer.
mo. Harold said the faif. proud girl
II can never be yours"
'Never?'' he cried, in anguished tones
N Never!" she answered coldly.
His mood changed.
are others
Yes. Harold. know there are.' she
said. And I accepted one of them this
afternoon. Minneapolis Journal.
.Green-Did you ever hear of an fnnnov-
able object being struck by an irresistible
Brownies
Green-What was the result?
Brown-Both the women talked them
selves hoarse.-Chicago News
what made you so ratified when YOU
were giving your testimony in that fury
trial?'' said Grace.
one Of those lawyers was q beau Ia
Iast thrown down, confessed Dora, 'and
1 was scared for fear he'd ask my age out
OF spite ana never was on oath before"
Detroit Free Press.
Mr.; stamnerton--Oi vera!-er-that is,
Miss Sere tcoyly)-Yes, Mr.. Stammer-
ton, say it; don't be afraid
Mr.. Stammerton-Im afraid it's g-g-
going to t-t-t-taiSe me so 1uI-long to
say it that you'd bub-bdtter rerasrlS
This is SO sudden" Eow.-PhiiadeiDhia.
Press.
Mrs. upjohn-What is the trouble be-
tween you and Mrs Highmus?
Mrs. Exclew-There is no trouble we
that's all She mortified me beyond meas
ure the other morning, when we were at
q furniture store. by asking the salesman
her the difference between a bassocI~ ers5
an ottonan.-ChicaGo Tribune.
so you think they're not wen mated.
thought you always declared that srnefeh
cs are made in heaven
Yes but in this case there seems to
have been mistake in delivering the
goods. .'-Phiiadelphi Press.
she-suppose I were to die. what would
Tel would be almost crazy.
She-WouId you marry again2
He-Wea, I would hardly be as crazy
,,do DO xog ,i, think Miss Jones ana szr.
NO, they've mad 2 falling out
How did that happen?''
They met one day when each was
looking the other up IN Bradstreet's.s'-
Detroit Tree Press
A bashful suburban couple sought a
city minister and asked his aid in getting
married.
~, very e well s..s said the clergyman. ''Wnl
why, yes" said the groom. hes5tsfiray
y. ''ye-es--if-if you have one HANDY I
guess we will."-Boston Herald
Beg pardon. madam said the clerk
hut what did yoil say your name vyasY'i
7 didn sayl'' snapped the society per-
son who had just completed her seyenff,