Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1905-11-24


ord.
Dyer-Did his widow succeed in
breaking his will? Duell-Yes; long
before he died.-Exchange
Redd-How much does that chauf-
feur cost you season? Greene-Re-
pairs, fines, or salary?-Yonkers States
man.
Mrs. Hoyle-Does your husband
make good money? Mrs. Doyle--Yes;
it's good enough, but there's too little
Of it.-Judge.
nuts In the cake Cook-Ill crack no
more nuts to-day. My jaw hurts me
already.-Harper's Bazaar.
Tramp lived on water once for
six months. Lady-Well, l must say
you don't look it. Tramp uster be
a sailor.-New York Mail.
"Is this sure enough a camePs hair
brush, mamma" "Yes, dear" 'Geet
don't see how camel can ever
brush its hair with that thing."-Hous-
ton Post.
Jaspar-Many a wise word is spoken
in jest. Jumpuppe-Yes, but they
can't compare with the number of fool
ish ones that are spoken in earnest
Exchange.
Miss Oldone-I wouldn't have re-
fused Charley Banks If I'd been you.
Miss Sweetgirl-I don't believe L
would, either, If I'd been you.-New
York Mail.
Hes sorry that he quarreled with
his wife, "She has gone home to her
mother, l suppose" mo; she's had
her mother COM home to her."-Phia-
delphia Press
Papa, are jails only for people who
get caughtW Dear me- no! They
are only for those people who get
caught and haven't money enough to
stay out."-Life.
Are those new people next door
rich?" Rich! Well, l should say 50.
They have two automobiles, and one
of 'em Is at the repair shop all tho
time."-Boston Herald.
Haven't Henpeck and his wife set
tied their differences about their Wis
iting cards" oh, yes, they've COM
promised on Mr.. and Mrs. Maria Hem
peck. ck."-Philadelphia Press.
What makes you 50 sure Black Is
not total abstainer?" when l asked
him where he was last night he
rubbed his head, and said, Let me
stop and think! detroit Free Press.
Miss Anteek-Yes, we're engaged.
Some people are mean enough to say
he's too young for me. Miss PERT
Ridiculous. Miss Anteek-It is so,
isn't it? Miss Pert-Sure! He'll age
fast enough after he's married to you.
-PhiladelI hia Press.
Governess docking over geography
paper)-What's this? "The people OF
Lancashire are very stupid" Where
in the world did you get that idea
from? Pupil-Out Of the book. 1t says
that Lancashire is remarkable for it's
dense opulation.-Punch,
Father-Why don't you work, my
piness work gives you would begin ut
once. Son-Father, l am striving to
lead a life Of self-denial, in which
happiness plays no part. Do not tempt
me-St. Louis Globe Democrat.
II takes de weather des ez Provi-
dence sends it," said Brother Williams;
'ef l whirled in en- prayed fer rain
dar'd sho come dry spell. En- If l
prayed fer dry, dar'd come rain enough
ter drown me-en de Lawd knows, 7
can't swim!"-Atlanta Constitution
Squire Greene-Yaas, while you
folks were away, they expelled old
Deacon Goodman from tn Baptist
Church. Mr.. Naborly-No! Why, how
did it happen? Squire Greene-Wal,
somebody asked him what he thought
of automobiles, and he told 'em.-
Puck.
Employer-Well, what did he say to
you? Clerk-That he'd break every
bone in my body and pitch me out Of
the window If l showed my face in
bis Office again! Employer-Then 60
back and tell him that he is vastly
mistaken if he thinks he can intiml-
date me by his violence-Life
: Mr.. Kornersloon-I've half a mind
to start for Dawson City, Sarah.
Here's fellow went up there six
months ago, and has just got home
with fifteen thousand dollars in his
pocket. Mrs. Kornersloon-But that
would never do for you, John. You
can't even get home Saturday nights
with your fifteen EXCHANGE