Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1905-04-01


The derrick isn't handsome, but il
has an uplifting infuence-Philadel-
phia Record.
New Years: First Resolution-How
are you feeling? Second Resolution
Broke.-Life.
Father (from top Of staircase) -
Ethel, is that young man gone? Ethel
Awful funny, pa.-Grit.
do you think Banks ever fooled his.
wife successfully" Il know it. He
married her."-Detroit Free Press.
what Is worse than owing money
you can't pay?" Being owed money
you can't collect. "-Cleveland Ledger.
Miss Snowflake-Wha did jim jack
son git married for? Miss Washtub-
Lawd only knows-he keeps right on
workin' Puck.
She-Do you think that woman
can truly love but once? He-Well,
If that's the only chance she has-yes!
Detroit Free Press.
Papa, will you send me to Europe
to study music?" mo; you can study
it here, and I'll send you to Europe to
practice. Houston Post.
Never tell secret, dear 1t would
be a great breach of confidence"
What must l do with it, mamma 2"
"Well-bring it to me!'-NIadame.
Father-But do you think you can
make my daughter happy? Suitor-
Happy Say, you should just have
seen her when 1 prOposed!-Brooklyn
Life.
Mamma-Don't lounge that way,
Tommy. Sit up like a man. Tommy
Why, mamma, men sit down; it's only
dogs and rabbits that sit up.-Phila
delphia Press
Teaspout-Why are you so angry
with the doctor? Mrs. Teaspout i
When l told HIM | had terrible tired
feeling he told me to show him my
tongue.-Exchange.
Hoax-They say the sultan of Tur-
key scares his wives nearly TO death.
Joax-Yes; I've always heard that he
was a harem-scarem sort of fellow
Philadelphia Record
Smiggs-There goes a man who has
done much to arouse the people.
ggs-Great labor agitator, eh?
Smiggs-No manufacturer of alarm
clocks.-Chicago Ledger
Mrs. Henpeck-This paper says that
married women live longer than single
ones. Mr. Henpeck-Heavens, wom-
an! Can't you think OF something
pleasant to talk about Borrowed.
Freda-He claims to be related to
you. and says he can prove it. Floyd
Related to me? Why that mans a
fool. Freda-Of course, but that may
be mere Observation-Disclosures
Bits.
Mrs. Hayrix-Them air Japs must
be kinder hard up for somethin' tew
read. Hayrix-Why SO, Mandy? Mrs.
Hayrix-This paper says they went
an took a lot Nv Russian magazines
Exchang"
Nervous Old Lady ION seventh floor
Of hoteD-Do you know what precau-
tons the proprietor or the hotel has
taken against fire? Porter-Yes, mum;
he has the place inshoored for twice
wot It's worth.-Pittsburg Gazette.
Frenzied Finance: The Farmer Tex
citedly)-Say, Mister Constubble, Ivel
Jest bin bunkered out NV every durn
cent! The Policeman drritably)-Well,l
don't holler to me, you come-on! |
amt no magazine publlsher!-Puck.
Mrs. Watkyns-Henry, l want dol
lar this morning. Mr. Watkyns-GreatI
Caesar, woman DO you think that |
am made of money? When you want
large amounts you ought to let me
know a hours in advance.-SOmer-
Vile Journal.
Irate Employer-See here, you young
Rip Van Wrinkle, | only hired you yes
terday; and | believe, on my soul,
you've been asleep around here ever
since! Sleepy Joe-That's what |
though you wished, sir. Here's your
advertisements: "Wanted-An office
boy. not over 16; must sleep on the
premises."-New Orleans Times-Dem-
ocrat.