davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25
TYPEWRITER PICTURES.

Artists picture work l. the latest
us, faurl fer tie long suffering
urcwrIlsr. Tle rqus'ly long sa.-
f.rn- Gs,-un girl la- hrn maie
ust uf question mara. un oHe ms-
chine. which also turns cat some ~
cuisi.c lace work, all made o't oi
some Of the little used maraS. \
vannr man who Is a member of lie
coast artillery reserve and one oI
the crack shots of the Thirteenth
re. imrnt Of artillery l. the man
who has made fad Of using the
wiring machine to do work il never
was intended 10 do. Another who
has found come of the freak posi-
bi'i,ics Of the typewriter Is Il young
schoolgirl, who poses her subjects
and zoe, about making their por
traits in a most bisinc-Slike man
ncr. achieving rommcndablc results
bv means of the straight and curved
lines tina. are characters of the key
board. Who saws the typewriter Is
wholly materialistic and sordldy
unpocticai New York Herald.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25

This story was told the other day
in illustration of woman's crcdulity:
\ young man entered the draw
ing room Of the girl whom he was
soon to marry. The girl came down
to meet him with severe frown on
her pretty face
john" she said, father saw YOU
this morning going into pawn,
brokers' with a large bundle
John flushed. Then he said in a
low voice:
"Ycs, that is true. | was taking
the pawnbroker some Of my old
clothes. You see. he and his wife
are frightfally hard up
"Oh, John, forgive met ex-
claimed the young girl. How truly
noble you are
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25
PUNY, BUT PLUCKY.
How a White Man Coved 4 Gang of
Natives In S.uth EfrieI.

\ Young Eu-ii~hman who had IN
Vc.ied las al in -pau> 81 USen' "as-
GA, and stores started for lHc north
orm part at Rhcdcsia, lm South Arr
"a, 10 trade. lie wa, accompanied
by a dozen paid blacks. Ills first
and last adventure Oh his trading
trip l. given by the author oi
"South Africa"
The Englishman was Il pmy man,
but with quite a towering spirit.
Among the "bovs" he had taken
with him was huge black, a Zulu,
who had been cast in natures lar
gest mold.
When they had left the sparse
fringe OF civilization the English
man found that there was plotting
going on among his followers. lie
was then alone in a desert, with
dozen blacks. and he knew their lam
guage well enough to know that the
Zulu was persuading the others IN
Scriptural language, tome, let us
kill him, and the Inheritance viii be
ours"
BY caycsdropping, justified in the
circumstances, lie discovered that
the proposal seemed good in their
ewes. They were to XII him, divide
| the oxen and carts and the stores Of
merchandise, to separate, each man
to Iii, own kraal, and when the Eng
lishman and his venture were quite
: FORGOTTEN they could trade with the
spo!ls.
The little Euglishman had big
spirit and true courage. lie got up
from where he lay and went INFO the
circle of cou,piraiors and stood in
front of the mullnous Iuiu and told
him to -tu up. At first the man
refused. but the Engli,hman had a
sjambok Ia rawhidc whip in his
tight little fist and struck at his enc
my. And then the little man gave
word Of command 10 the other con-
spiraiars 10 take the Zulu ringlcad-
er and Tie him up to the wagon, and
SO strange Il thing is the will they
obcyed him. although reluctantly
Then the puuy .ngiishman used ii.
s,amhok anil he was exhausted ant
al ,..,,, ,...H ,,r,7,1.l,l
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25
Christianity In FIy Time.

A western farmer came to the
pastor of his congregation and asked
that his name be taken off the
church books. "What is the trou,
bic, Brother jones'" asked the sur,
prised pastor. 81 supposed YOU were
a faithful follower of the Lamb. :"
"Well, | sorter believed that myself
but there is just no use talkin', a
man can't serve the Lord whore he
has to milk four COWS in fly time
After the first heavy frost I'll try
this church business again, but just
now | either have to sell the COWS,
give up the church or be a burned
hypocrite." Santa Fe Monitor.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25
Came Near Eindino Out.

Among examples of American hui
NOR given in the Nineteenth Cen
fury and After is story which a
bright ornament of the English
bench is said to have told more than
once.
\ speaker in a western town had
started out to show that there might
be great differences between nation
al and local reputation. lie had
said, "A man can't always tell what
his ncighbors think of him when
he was interrupted by one Of his
hearers.
Il came mighty near knowing
once" said the man with rem
inisccnt look, but the jury dis
agreed"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25

There is a great and little known
natural bridge twenty miles south
west of Douglass, Wyo., where La
Picle creek breaks through the foot
hills of the Laramie mountains. In
the span Of its arch it is said to be
the greatest in the world. 1t is $50
feet wide and IS feet above the
water. The stream flows through a
canyon nearly 900 feet deep. The
bridge is a ledge of rock near the
bottom of the canyon. Doubtless
once the water flowed over the ledge,
but in process of time found softer
material below and wore its way
through, making the bridge,
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25
Dancina on the Ledqers.

Captain Robert Quinton of the
lightship Blunt's Reef says that the
chief things that keep back the
South American people are ciga-
rettes, conversation and ragtime
dancing on lcdgers. He explains
the reference to the ledgers by say
ing that instead of using copying
machine, as is done here, to copy a
letter or any other document the
South American clerk puts the pa
per to be copied between the carbon
sheets in book, then places the
latter upon the floor and dances on
it. at is the funniest sight in the
world. be says, SO see all those
clerks, every one of them with a
cigarette in his lips, dancing upon
the books. "--Argonaut.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25

Although one of the main charac-
teriStics of the famous DR., Aber-
nethy was the readiness with which
he could administer a sharp and
witty retort when occasion arose, he
was once considerably nonpIuscd
by the remark of a medical student.
"What would You do" the doctor
asked the student at am eXamina-
ton, ''if man was placed in your
hands with a broken Leg"
set it, sir" was the reply,
Good, very good. lou are a
witty young man, and doubtless
YOU can tell me what muscles of the
body | would move if | were to kick
you, as you deserve, for your i'm
pertinence?'
on would put into notion re
piled the student, not in the least
abashed, "the tleXors and eXtensors
Of my right arm. for | would forth
with knock YOU down"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25
Punctilious.

"Sure, sir" said the foreman of
the works as he approached the
manager with a rueful face, "O'Don-
oyan SAYS he's goin' TO quit unless
he gets put on other worruk"
"What's the natter
well, it wor yerself thot towld
me TO put i'm to iXin' the ceiiin'
just Adore the clocl,."
"What of that? He doesn't get
dizzy. does he:"
"Niyer a bit. It's the clock be-
Meath i'm thot makes the throuble.
He SAYS he won't worruk over time
unless he gets extra pay"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25

A serious movement is on foot to
abolish the tipping system in
France, as it has to triiling extent
been abolished in England 1t is
well known that large percentage
of the people who serve others live
entirely on tips, and as the first step
toward the abolition of this nui-
sance an official has made careful
and exhaustive calculation. He ar
rives at the conclusion that nearly
$SO,O0O,OO0 is spent yearly in this
way, and in Paris alone $l6,000,000
year, or over $4,000 a day, is ex-
pended in tipping walters, cabmen,
concierges, porters and others.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25
COMING A IANlT0R.
A Case Of DiseipIinin1 and the Way IL
Worked Out.

one day Wilkinson got mad and
determined TO discipline the ianitor.
why Is ii" lac said, that every
time ANYBODY in this building loses
ANYTHING You ask Us II We know
what ha, become Of it,
Because" the ianitor replied,
"you are the only folks that never
lose anything"
The next morning arrived.
We're short a bottle of milk,
Wilkinson shouted down the dumb
waiter shaft. "Where is it =
Il don't know, sir" the ianitor
answered humbly. I'll see if | can
find it,"
Why" said Mrs. Wilkinson, eve
got our milk
Don't worrv." said her husband.
"Of course, he can't find it, but j.
will do him good to ..ustle and stew
little"
About fifteen minutes later Vii
kinson was summoned to the dumb
waiter. "Here's your milk" said
the janitor. I'm sorry | made a
mistake before"
Wilkinson was bewildercd. "Now,
where on earth did the fellow get
it," he said.
"IIc has taken it from one of the
ncighbors,' walled Mrs. Wilkinson
We will be jailed before We get
/ through with this business"
The next day Wilkinson com.
/ planned Of the loss Of a package OF
sugar, which, though purely imagi.
nary. so far as the WilkinsonS were
/ concerned, very soon matcriaized IL
the hands Of the resourceful janitor
Even Wilkinson got uneasy then
but. being bent on vengeance, hC
subsequently, reported as lost thre,
loayes Of bread, a head Of lettuc,
and a bag of potatoes, all of which
were Immediately produced by tn,
ianitor. Before further deprcda
tons on the part of that worth,
were possible Wilkinson paid hi
, grocery bill for the month. Whc'
! ne came home Mrs. Wilkinson. VIII,
/ Is a systematic housekceper, care
fully scanned the itcmizcd account.
"Why they have mude Il mis-
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25
Passing of the Paris Black Cat,

Soon The Chat NOR will disap-
pear from the memories of Paris; at
least, in its old associations. As a
hotel it has ceased to exist. Many
managers have tried to make it pay
without depriving it entirely of its
traditions, but since Sails nobody
has been able to hit the public fancy
in such measure as to command sue
cess. The place is now being entire
ly transformed and will next appeal
to the public as an old curiosity
shop.-London Globe.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25
Won His Bet.

Patrick Gleason. the shoe manu-
facturer of Brockton, Mass, one day
hired lastcr who was Il very poor
workman. The first shoe the man
took off his last was 50 badly lasted
he did not dare put it on his rack
for inspection, but hid it under his
bench, intending to make a better
Job Of it during the noon hour. The
second shoe was not much better,
but he thought it would pass, and
started on the third. Mr.. Gleason,
coming along just then, picked up
the shoe that lay on the rack and
examined it. Then, turning to the
lastcr, he said angrily, "I'll bet YOU
$40 you can't show me shoe in
this factory as badly lasted as this"
"I'll take YOU on that bet" said the
latter. And, reaching down, he took
the first shoe from under his bench
and handed it to Mr.. Gleason. Mr..
Gleason paid, but the laster lost his
lob.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25
A Plate Glass Machine.

BY means of a French engineers
invention the manufacture of sheets
Of glass by machinery, ready for use
within half an hour of the mean
descent state of the material, is
rendered possible. The Fourcault
machine can turn out continuously
sheets of glass thirty-nine and a
half inches wide, of any desired
length and Of a uniform thickness,
varying from one-sixteenth of an
inch to 1iye-siXteenths of an inch.
This glass can be obtained as rough
glass for making extra thin glass,
as horticultural glass and window
glass.-London Globe.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25
THE FEET OF FLIES.
They Have Hooked Claws rs Wen as
PAS and stieAy haIr.

Pas ana Stic~S Faif.
OF the common biavt.ul,tc iE
John J. Ward writes: "ta,I iv'i is
provided with a pair of ~."al cia#~.
These are Of service &" lhe INSECT
when walking over rough surfaces,
penetrating tiny crcNiccs quite an
visible To human - sht. When Il
climbs a perpendicular wall or walks
upside down upon ceiling tie ap-
parcntly smooth surface has sIi!i-
cicut roughncss Tor these TINY claws
TO get a grip upon IL. However, II
occasionally occurs that the hluchoI-
tie has other situations To meet,
where it cannot use these hooked
claws. Ii may alight upon the
smooth surface OF the hatcher
scales and dishes or upon the trans
parent window pancs of the Shop
The fly can climb such Surfaces
upon which its claws cannot get Il
hold because of the two pads be-
tween the claws. These pads are
brought into play on glass uud s'iHl.
lar materials, the claws being then
throNn back. one to each side. be.
meath the foot and out of the way,
last as. when the claws are in use,
the pads are lifted up between them,
also to be out of the way.
These pads, or flaps. for long
time were thought to hold like suck
ers. by forming Il vacuum. But
when some flies were put into YES
sci from which the air was with
drawn they still adhered. Mr.. Ward
continues: "Since then it has been
observed that the under side Of these
foot flaps are studded with tiny
hairs, which exude il sticky tiald,
and it has therefore been surmlSed
that this secretion both eXpels the
air from beneath the pads and at the
same time gums the pads to the
smooth surface. When we find a
dead fly still adhering to window
pane or frame it secreted this sticky
fluid while its strength was failing
and later became too feeble to re-
move its feet again.
"When the active fly would lift
its foot it loosenS the pad by rolling
it off the surface from opposite
sides, just as we might readily open
an envelope by pulling up the flap
by the point before it has properly
stuck, although it would be extreme
ly difficult to open by pulling direct
" from above. Chicago News.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25
jefferson Was Not Qualified.

As is generally known, the late
Joseph jefferson and ex-President
Cleveland were boon companions.
Shortly after Cleveland was elected
president the second time friend
of Mr.. jefferson met him and said,
Il hear that President Cleveland
may appoint You to an ambassador
ship"
"Whcre in the world did you
hear that" was the response. 81
wouldn't accept it. Did the papers
say anything about it :"
YES" his friend replied. ''Ihey
said you may be appointed minister
to Cape Cod"
"Wouldn't do" said Mr.. Jelfer-
son. Il don't speak the language"
Boston Herald.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25
A Jumpino Hoo,

A jumping hog afforded much
amusement in the hogpens at the
stockyards the other day. Although
the animal weighed $50 pounds, it
would jump board fences five feet
high. The Spectator who bought
the hog found it impossible to con
fine it to a pen, so the pen had to
be covered with boards. According
to men who have been at the hog
yards for years, this was the first
hog that had ever leaped a fence
there.-Kansas City Times.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25

Eastern scientists are expressing
the belief in guarded way that re-
Gently discovered sun spots may be
the cause Of the torrid weather in
this latitude, forgetting that the
same cause was assigned during the
zero weather of last winter for the
severe cold. AS the sun spot is too
far away to make a defense, the lay
man is allowed to worry out his
own conclusion. - Pittsburg Dis
patch.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25
In the Alcoholic Ward.

In the alcoholic ward in Bellevue
hospital in New York the congestion
is the greatest. The number of al,
cohoHc patients is always greater
in the winter than in the summer
not that there is more drunkenness
in the frigid season, but because the
ineJriate who is carried to Bellevue
in the winter might in the summer
sleep Off his debauch on park
bench. There are twenty-nlne beds
in the alcoholic ward for men. Ere.
qucntly there have been eighty pa
tients AT one time. In the female
alcoholic ward there are fourteen
beds, and sometimes the number
Of patients is thirty-tive.-Leslie' :
Weekly.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25

When in New York +. Marion
Crawford has his barbering done
and his boots BACKED at his office.
He always has the same men, and
both are Italians. In engaging the
bootblack Mr.. Crawford asked him
where he was born. "In Genoa"
was the answer. ''And what is your
name?' "Patrick Murphy" was
the astonishing reply. "Where in
the world did you get that name ?"
asked the novelist. 81 take-a the
name after | come here, so people
think-a | the American" said the
boOtblack.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25

The latest volume of Murrav's
New English Dictionary indicates
that while the letter "P" was the
letter least frequently used as an
initial in tlrr~uiticst English dictioA-
AIRY it is now used as an initial more
often than any other letter except
two. No fewer than 1881 words
now begin with "P," and of these
only three are old English words
London Express.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25
Five Men and a Coincidence.

In the early days Of newspaper
syndicate articles and stories, when
the idea was yet young, five men
of tender age were making out a Ilv-
ing on the simultaneous publishing
idea. These young fellows were 5.
S. Mcclure, now the editor and prin-
cipal owner of McClure's Magazine;
Irving Bachelor, the well known au-
thor Of "Eben Holden" Edward
Box, the editor Of the Ladies' Home
Journal and son-in-law of Mr.. Cur
It's; Frederic L. CoIyer, publisher of
the new American Illustrated Mag
azine, for thirty years Leslie's
Monthly, and Frank n. Doubleday,
now the publisher Of the Worlds
Work, Country Life and the Garden
Magazine.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25

"Cheap as dirt" must cease to be
a synonym for things that are nearly
or utterly lacking in value, in face
of the array of facts presented By
the sand industry in Chicago.
Sand. dir, and gravel is a commod
ity OF considerable importance in
the market. 1t is cheap, truly, be-
cause Chicago is fortunate in having
the sand dunes of Indiana and
southern Wisconsin within easy
striking distance, but it is not so
cheap that one may longer with
sense use dirt as a synonym for cX-
IRENE cheapness. The total eXpend-
iture for the commodity in Chicago
alone each year is over Sl,OOO,OOO,
and bringing it to the city neces
states the employment of hundred
of men, especially laid railroad
tracks and even plants where entire
hills are manufactured" into sand
gravel and crushed stone.-Chicagc
Tribune.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25
No Hone For Him.

"There's joy enough to keep the
whole world dancing"
les, but they'll turn you out Of
the church for it."
"Well, you kin hollcr hallelujah
on the highway
"les, but they'll arrest you for
alStnrbin' the peace"
Don't seem to be any hope for
YOU
"Oh, yes! You kin be jest as
miserable as you please. ATLANTA
Constitution.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25
SleepIess Fish.

There are several species Of fish,
reptiles and insects which never
sleep during the whole Of their ex-
istence. Among fish it is positive
ly known that pike, salmon and
goldfish never sleep at all; also that
there are several others in the fish
family thai never sleep more than
a few minutes a month. There are
dozens Of species of flies which never
indulge in slumber and from three
to five species Of serpents which
also never sleep.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25
Three Hearts That Beat as One.

There have just taken place at
Barletta the nuptials Of man who,
physically at least, is remarkable.
lis name is De Maggie, and he pos
scsscs two hearts, one at each side.
Notwithstanding this strange freak
of nature, the man enjoys vigorous
health and the physical system
works cxccllently. His popularity
has made his fortune, for he has
been much exhibited on the CONT
ncnt, and has settled in Italy owing
to having fallen in love with a young
woman Of the district where the
wedding took place. In considera-
ton of sum of $4,000 De Maggie
has sold his body, after death, to
the Anatomical museum Of Madrid.
London Globe.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25
Horqan's Costly Books.

Few book collectors and those in
terestcd in books realize how large
a percentage Of the most costly
books in the world are owned by j..
Pierpont Morgan. In a list recently
printed of 100 books which have
brought from $2 900 to $4,000 at
auction since 1912 Mr.. Morgan is
credited with the ownership of six
teen, or one-sixth of the highest
priced books of the last 100 years.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25
WEAKNESS and Hunger.

Never cat when very tired. 1t is
better to refrain-to 90 hungry, in
fact, than to gull down lot of food
when your stomach is too tired to
assimilate what you eat. Another
equally good precaution is to rest
for ten or fifteen minutes anyhow
or longer if possible after eating.
Instinct teaches animals to do this,
and good sense ought to teach peo-
pie to do the same, but it doesn't.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25

"Nlillions for the contractors, but
not one cent for the Widows is the
inscription on d coin, dated 1868,
which was received under peculiar
circumstances by George A. Lee of
this city few days ago. The piece
is apparently of restricted issue,
as none of the many persons to
whom it has been submitted for in
spection ever saw its like. 1t was
accompanied by a letter mailed from
Detroit and signed Howard Hen
zler, which informed the recipient
that the coin was given him as a
pocket piece twenty-five years ago
in Raleigh, S. c., by the long since
deceased father of MIR. Lee. The
epistle concludes with the hope that
"the son Of my benefactor Of long
years ago may enjoy the good for
tune that has been mine since its
acquisition. PHILADELPHIA Record.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25
Left Handed Mems Hearts.

81 saw in the Record the other
daY that some anatomical and scicn-
tiiically inclined persons are of the
opinion that persons who are left
handed are less liable to heart dis
ease than those who are right hand
ed" said an old baseball playet. 81
don't want to pose as an authority,
but in the baseball world it has been
notorious that left handed pitchers
have never been able to keep up the
pace with the good old right hand
crs. and it has been declared by
trainers that the cXertion over the
heart when the left hand is used for
pitching is responsible for their col
lapse as great twirlers. This seems
to be substantiated by the records
to a great extent, and if the theory
of those who claim that left handed
men have -tronger hearts held good
these pitchers should have hearts
that would withstand any strain. -
Philadelphia Record.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25
His Sage Counsel.

81 been thinkin' bout gittin' mar
RED" said a member of his flock to
Brother Williams. "You reckon I
could git a marriage license fer Il
dozen watermelons ?"
81 reckon you could" replied
Brother Williams. 'But my whole
some advice ter you is ter eat de
watermelons. - Atlanta Constitu-
ton.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1905-08-25
The Object.

q want to put an ad. in your pa
per said the weary looking man.
"Make it, Wanted, a situation; any
old Job,
"Shall | say, money no object ?'''
suggested the clerk.
"No, make it object matrimony.'
If | could get acquainted with de-
cent job I'd be willing to marry it
for life"